“Ten silver for a backpack,” Peter muttered. “It’s highway robbery.”


    “What’s a highway?” Dirk asked.


    Rubbing his face, he couldn’t help but notice the weird expression on all three of his new partners. “It’s a… never mind. Is everything in this place overpriced?”


    “Of course!” Kirk exclaimed. “Everyone owes someone something. You think I’d be out here offering a silver coin to simply take a stroll with me?”


    “Two silver,” Peter said, coming to a quick stop. “If you’re trying to change the–”


    “No! My mistake,” the goblin replied as he waved a green hand.


    Grunting, he started walking again, making a mental note that it appeared goblins in this world were potentially just as shady as all the movies he had ever watched portrayed.


    Most likely I should try to avoid combat… I mean… I’m about as skilled as a wet sock when it comes to fighting.


    He flinched as a memory of getting beat up by a seven-year-old girl when he was ten decided it was time for a flashback. Cindy Lou didn’t play fair, and after he accused her of cutting in line at the ice cream truck, she used her height to her advantage.


    “Is something wrong with your manhood?” Kirk asked. “You’re grabbing it for some reason… I mean, I do that occasionally but usually when I’m alone.”


    “No… just remembering a time I got punched there,” Peter replied.


    “OHHH… you’re one of those kinds of guys… well then I can get on board with someone who''s into that kind of thing.”


    “What?! No, I–”


    “Don’t be ashamed,” Dirk said as he moved up next to Kirk. “Trust us, we’ve paid for worse.”


    “I… I…” Unable to say anything else, Peter just hung his head for a moment, looking at the fake chest in his hand and wondering what he had gotten himself into.


    I just need some space… yeah… not the greatest line I’ve ever said…


    Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly and pointed at the road they were about to travel down to deliver his package and hopefully get the goblins to the dungeon as well.


    “So what kind of formation we going to use when we come upon enemies?” Peter asked.


    “We move in a triangle,” Kirk explained.


    Raising an eyebrow, Peter shook his head. “Wait… what kind of triangle?”


    “An open triangle,” Dirk said with a smirk. “With you at the front.”


    “But that’s just a line!”


    “Exactly!” Kirk exclaimed. “Strategic positioning!”


    Peter let out a sigh. “Yeah, for me to get cut, stabbed or shot at first.”


    “Glad you understand what I’m paying for.”


    Making a mental note to never take another job from a goblin again without going over all the details first, he gave up, moving to the front of the group as they filed in behind him.


    At the same wooded area along the road as before, Peter noticed that the bush the three bandits had jumped out from now had a second one next to it.


    Part of him wasn’t surprised when a group of six smug-looking bandits leaped out and pointed weapons at him.


    “Ahh look who’s back!” sneered the one he knew was Ted. “Thought you were clever enough to repeat the same delivery quest again? Too bad we know all your tricks!”


    “Yeah! No one’s going to be saying we’re gutting you like a fish,” Dick said.


    “Wait, how do you know I’m doing the same quest? Peter asked.


    “The box! And the boss said someone was coming. It doesn’t take a genius with a third-grade education to figure that out,” Ted replied.


    “Uh, Peter… your job is to escort us to the dungeon, not have a chat with thugs. Let’s get moving.”


    All six of the bandits glanced behind Peter and saw the three goblins all hiding in his shadow.


    “What’s this?! Two quests?!” Dick exclaimed. “The boss is going to blow his load when he finds out we stopped two quests!”


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    “Oh, that explains why these other three are here,” Ted pointed out. “I was beginning to think the boss didn’t trust us with this quest anymore.”


    “Wait! If I turn in the box, I’m good to go, right?”


    “Of course… tho part of me wants to make you bleed for making us look like fools,” Ted said. “Still it’s not something we’re cleared for yet.”


    “Wait, you can’t, like, kill me?”


    Grimacing the bandits all looked at each other and shrugged.


    “Not usually… I mean… It does happen… On accident of course, but then again if you bleed out, that’s on you, not on us,” Dick said.


    So many things ran through Peter’s mind, and while most of them still revolved around the idea he had somehow married a witch, right now it was something actually useful.


    “Kirk, Dirk, and uh…”


    “It’s Mike!”


    Shushing the goblin in the red shirt he nodded and motioned for them to come closer.


    “Here’s what we’re going to do.  I’m going to let them rob me, take this chest and when they have it run.”


    “What kind of plan is that?” Kirk asked, frowning at him.


    “Well I don’t got a weapon and six on 4–”


    “Six on one,” Dirk said. “We’re not fighting. It’s why we hired you.”


    Coughing, Peter pounded his chest.


    “So… that means after they take the chest, I’m going move sideways before I begin to run. I suggest you three somehow find a way to hide behind me and escape.”


    “This so isn’t worth two silver,” Kirk muttered. “Still… I can respect a man who knows he sucks when it comes to the physical art of fighting and proudly proclaims he’s a chicken.”


    Resisting the urge to bawk, Peter nodded.


    “So, Dick and Ted and…” He waited, motioning to the guard that had been there the first time with the pair.


    “Francisco.”


    “God, don’t lie,” Dick muttered. “Your name is Steve!”


    “Steve… okay, well here is the box.  I’m going to let you all have the chest and just move to where Birek is and tell him I failed if that’s okay.”


    Waving his sword in the air, Ted glared. “No funny business?”


    “On my word.”


    The three of the bandits looked at each other, all nodding.


    “Well then, if you say so. Give us the box and you can go.”


    Bending down, Peter set it on the road, took a step back after standing up and began to slide in the direction of the dungeon.


    “I appreciate you all again. Hopefully we can do this another time,” Peter said as he made his escape.


    “Hah! I hope so because it will be an easy win for us!” Dick declared as he moved to collect the box.


    Out of the corner of Peter’s vision, he spotted something red and turned his head enough to see that the goblin in red was standing on the road, picking his nose.


    “Just keep moving,” Kirk whispered.


    “But–”


    “No butts!” Dirk said loud enough that the red-shirted goblin heard and started to move.


    “FREEZE!” one of the newer bandits shouted, stepping past Ted and Steve. “You aren’t going anywhere.”


    “But… I…”


    Realizing that the gig was up and these bandits looked a lot meaner than the trio he had danced with before, Peter decided to do what he did best.


    He ran like a coward.


    [ Coward’s Sprint Activated ]


    “Tactical Retreat!” he shouted,


    As his legs moved faster, he glanced back to see Dirk and Kirk break into a sprint.


    “Wait for me Capt–”


    The sound of the goblin in the red shirt ended as a fist connected against his jaw.


    “It’s okay!” Kirk cried. “I’m the real hero in this story! I’m not even sure he had a name!”


    Choosing to not argue, Peter pumped his arms faster, seeing Dick opening the box he had picked up.


    “HEY! It’s empty! After him!”


    Part of him wanted to laugh, the other part of Peter wanted to run faster, seeing that there were now five bandits chasing them.


    [ Coward’s Sprint (Passive) - Upgraded ]


    [ Effect: 21% faster movement speed when fleeing like an absolute coward. ]


    [ Twice in one day. Way to set the bar high. ]


    Ignoring the taunt, Peter gladly took the 1%, unsure how much that really was, but as the portal came into view and the sounds of shouting disappeared, he looked behind, seeing two goblins sweating but no longer in danger as the bandits had vanished.


    “Well I’ll be,” Kirk said as they slowed to a walk, all of them taking deep breaths. “You run amazingly well. Do you have some kind of skill or something?”


    “Do you?” Peter asked, unsure if he wanted to share that information.


    “Of course. I’m a goblin. Running for my life while someone else dies is kind of an expected thing.  In fact I’m not aware of any goblins who don’t have a running ability when it comes to being a chicken.”


    “Sorry about your third goblin.”


    “Who?” Dirk asked.


    “The red shirt.”


    “Uh… who’s you talking about?” Kirk asked.


    “The goblin that came with us. He wore a red shirt!” Peter exclaimed, pointing in the direction they had just come. “You know, the one they caught?”


    “Doesn’t ring a bell,” Dirk said with a shrug. “Still, you did your part so I guess we gotta pay him, captain.”


    Sighing, the goblin nodded and pulled out a silver coin.


    “Two,” Peter said, almost growling.


    “Yeah, yeah. I was just trying to remember where I kept the other.”


    It was at that moment Peter realized he was ready just to take the one silver coin.


    Grunts and a hack that sounded worse than some 80-year-old chain smoker came from Kirk as he attempted to clear whatever was in his throat.  Soon, Dirk came over and slapped him on the back.


    A few seconds later, a silver coin flew from Kirk’s mouth and bounced off the dirt road, which was covered in filth.


    “Wew, I wasn’t sure if that was going to come out,” the captain said as he grunted a few more times. “Still, at least I didn’t have to give you a gold coin.”


    “Uh, why is that?” Peter asked.


    “Because I’m nowhere near ready to go number two.”