The moment the silver coin touched his hand, Peter was overwhelmed.
In one hand… well the hand with the coin in it, actual goblin flem, now touched his skin. In the other was a gold coin as sound rang out in his head.
Ding!
[ Side Quest Complete ]
100 XP gained.
1 Gold earned.
Redshirt Goblin casualty ignored by System.
[ Congratulations - You have now learned about Side Quests. These can be given or taken but unlike the main quest the only punishment for not completing one is being labeled a loser. ]
[ P.S. - You only get this bonus once so don’t think you can earn your way out of what you owe so easily. ]
“He really is a weird one,” Dirk said as the pair of goblins kept walking toward the dungeon. “Based on the way he’s smiling, I swear if he swallows that coin, we’re taking him home to meet your sister.”
“Bah, you and I both know she’d snap him in half,” Kirk replied. “Then again… he does seem to like getting hit there.”
Ignoring the duo, Peter did his best to remove as much bodily… stuff… from the silver coin, putting it and the gold coin in his pouch.
One gold and twenty-two silver. Soon I’ll have enough to cover today’s debt!
Smiling he made his way to where the ogre named Birek was standing.
“You seem pretty happy for not having my chest in hand.”
Sliding the pack off his back, Peter pulled out the quest object and held it out.
“I might have purchased a fake one and given it to the bandit.”
Laughter erupted from the ogre as he shook his head, taking a few steps until he could acquire the real object for the quest.
“That’s… ingenious. Not many have ever done such a thing like that before. I wondered why they were chasing you and figured it had to do with the goblins at first.”
“You mean you knew I was coming to see you?”
“There’s a glow around you just slightly, which lets me know you took my quest,” Birek said. “I’m fairly certain you can see one around me.”
Nodding, Peter noticed it was there, just not paying much attention to it since he knew what it was for.
“Weird… Anyway, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to repeat this quest soon. Those bandits seem prepared for me. Does that always happen?”
“That I can’t say,” Birek replied, shrugging his massive shoulders. “All I know is I get paid to stand here and guard the portal.”
“From what? People going in?”
Chuckling, the ogre flashed a smile that would cause young children to scream enough to power a city.
“It’s not what goes in but what comes out occasionally. But you’ll have to figure that out yourself. I’m not paid to share that information.”
The ogre’s hand moved and a gold coin was sent airborne.
Feeling lucky, Peter attempted to catch it, failing miserably and picking it instead up off the ground.
Once he held it, a familiar sound came followed by the sound of a fog horn.
[ Quest Complete ]
[ Congratulations on completing three quests in a day. Maybe you’re not as stupid as she thought you were. ]
[ 500 Experience granted. ]
[ Level Up! ]
[ Greatness has come and you’ve managed to get stronger! With great power comes stupidity. Don’t be an idiot like the rest. ]
[ 1 Stat Point to spend ]
His eyes were pinched shut and a dull throb in his mind came as the notifications appeared.
“Oh, I know that look,” Birek said.”You leveled up! Congrats!”
“Uh… thanks… Now I just need to–”
[ 15 Seconds to spend Stat Point or it will vanish. ]
“What?!”
“You better pick something!” Birek exclaimed. “Fast!”
“But what?!”
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[ 10 Seconds to spend Stat Point or it will vanish. ]
“It’s your call, but make it a good one,” the ogre replied.
Peter’s mind raced as he tried to consider the best stat to put something into.
I mean, what do each of them even do?!
[ 5 Seconds to spend Stat Point or it will vanish. ]
“Fudge!”
Desperation makes me do desperate things and Peter was absolutely desperate.
Knowing he only had seconds to spare he did what anyone who ever played any time of game would do.
“Luck! I choose luck!”
[ Point Allocated to Luck! ]
[ They say it pays to be lucky, but that’s not always the case. Still, perhaps you won’t trip and break your neck or step on a rusted nail now. That’s something right? ]
Birek sucked in some air between his teeth, making a hissing noise as he grimaced. “Luck… that’s a tough one. Can’t say I’ve ever put a point in that one.”
“Why?” Peter asked. “Isn’t it better to be lucky?”
“No one here is lucky but perhaps…” The ogre paused and shook his head. “Still, I’d rather have strength or be tougher. So I put most of my points into those two stats. I’ve only met a few of your kind, and all I can say is that you might want to consider toughening up some. Lots of pink skins die after a hit or two.”
Feeling a little frustrated at how the whole thing just went down, Peter sighed and decided to see what had changed upon leveling up.
“Status.”
*****
Peter Park
Human
Level 2
Experience: 100/2000
Current Debt: 2 Gold
Time Till Collection: 8 Hours 24 Minutes
STR: 8
AGIL: 7
CON: 6
INT: 8
WIS: 5
LUCK: 4
Skills:
Perks:
Coward’s Sprint - 21% Increase to movement when fleeing.
*****
“Uh, Birek… how do I learn what each stat grants?” Peter asked.
“Oh that’s simple. Just say ‘Attribute Definitions,’ but trust me, it’s not that useful.”
Seeing how the ogre was frowning, he gave it the old college try, wondering how bad it really could be.
“Attribute Definitions.”
[ Attributes - The things you don’t have much of. ]
[ Strength (STR) - Let’s pretend this is how much you can lift. Technically this stat makes you hit harder and able to carry more, but let’s be honest, you’re still going to lose fights. Why? Because enemies and even children have strength, and most likely more of it. Your most likely use of this stat is to impress people at taverns while arm-wrestling goblins for spare change. ]
[ Agility (AGIL) - How fast you continue to flee in shame. While you probably think this still provides you the ability to quickly dodge responsibilities, projectiles and emotionally difficult conversations, for once, you’re right. It’s useful for running away from things trying to kill you (which is basically everything here). Let’s be honest. You’re most likely to still trip over a rock and find yourself dead soon enough. ]
[ Constitution (CON) - This is all about how much misery and suffering you can tolerate. The fabled stat of pain resistance really isn’t that. Ignore the ogre and his advice. What Constitution really does is let you suffer longer. That’s right, instead of dying quickly and painlessly, now you’ll get to agonize through broken ribs, concussions and getting demolished by things twice your size (or perhaps for you even half your size). But the good news? It’s that you’ll be less likely to suffer food poisoning from a questionable street vendor. ]
[ Intelligence (INT) - All those bad ideas you justify. Putting more points in here means you can read longer, more complicated system notifications about how screwed you are. You’ll also unlock advanced abilities like ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have spent my last gold coin on a bad investment.’ However, knowing something is a bad idea and not doing it are two very different things. Similar to telling your wife you need space. ]
[ Wisdom (WIS) - How many times you can recall being told, ‘I told you so.’ Similar to intelligence and knowing a bad decision, this stat doesn’t stop you from making terrible choices. You’ll just know they were terrible, after the fact. This stat is perfect for realizing how and why your life is descending into chaos. Just don’t expect it to help prevent that. Expect a lot of head shaking, singing and ‘In hindsight, that was pretty stupid.’ ]
[ Luck (LUCK) - How long can you delay inevitable doom? This stat determines how often the universe will throw you a bone. Will you be lucky and find a single gold coin on the ground? Perhaps. Will that same gold coin be suddenly snatched up by a crow that’s a bandit’s pet? Absolutely! Luck isn’t about making life easier. It’s about shifting the flavor of your misfortune. ]
Peter couldn’t help but read each definition twice.
“So… I’m basically screwed regardless of what I pick?”
“You asking me or the world?” Birek replied.
“Both?”
Sighing, the ogre shrugged. “Eventually you have to decide what kind of life you want here. Do you want to be out here running dungeons, trying to not die or get maimed? Perhaps instead you like playing with bandits, seeing how long you manage to stay ahead before they get really upset at you. If none of those work you’re always welcome to opening up a business and offering quests… of course that often requires a large amount of money which typically isn’t something most of us come across.”
Frowning Peter recalled the sign and line he saw in town.
“What about that Sal guy? He seems to have a pretty good gig?”
Snorting the ogre rolled his eyes. “That lawyer? Please most of his contracts fail and the only one making any kind of money is him. Rumor has it he was a politician at some point but found a way to sink even lower. Still… if I were you, I’d stay away from him if possible. No one I know has ever come out ahead that walked through his doors.”
Rubbing his eyes, Peter could feel his Intelligence telling him Birek was right. Now all he needed to do was be smart enough to listen to that small voice inside.
“Uh… thanks. I guess I’ll head back to town. It should be safe, right?”
“Beats me,” the ogre replied. “I’m not the one upsetting the local thug community. Still, since I’ve got my lunch and they’ve got a boss who’s going to be not happy with them, returning quickly might be your best bet.”
Giving the ogre a nod, Peter waved and started moving toward town.
Well… if anything comes, at least I can run away like a chicken.
A rumble in his belly came at the thought of fried chicken.
I guess I better see if I can’t find something to eat.