The toilets in the newly conquered clan castle of the 652 were overflowing. All the Thunder brothers who had somehow managed to reach the lavatory in time refused to leave. The rest had to take to the bushes around the castle. The stench was terrible.
''No wonder our town is called either "Stink land" or "Mink stinks",'' grumbled Lipsyte, ''you can still smell it in the furthest corner of the GW map!''
''Why do they have so few toilets here?'' complained ThunderFarts.
''The ones on the 656 are much fewer than us! And there are even fewer now! That means the next clan castle we conquer from them will have even fewer toilets!''
''Shit, in the truest sense of the word!''
''They even took the litter tray!'' complained Thunder Cat, ''I mean, at least me or Benexi could have used that!''
King Mink sat on the elegant private toilet that had originally belonged to Genny, suffering from a terrible stomach ache. If only he hadn''t drunk so much of that beer! The beer must definitely have been bad. Never again would he drink such foreign swill! Only local products!
After all, Yikesy had brought him rusks and apple porridge. Now he was almost sorry that he had thought she was a traitor. ''Granny!'' he wailed through the closed loo door, ''I still feel sick. What am I supposed to do? I won''t be able to take part in the MD! I can''t leave here!''
''Write in the Governor''s Chat that you don''t have time, my boy. You don''t have to say why not.''
With trembling fingers, Mink tapped on his mobile phone and typed in the message.
''Good idea, Grandma, I''ve done it!''
''You''ve typed it six times in a row, my boy... but it''s all right. I guess at least no one will miss it now!''
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Some of the Thunder brothers had fortunately only consumed a little of the beer or had abstained from it altogether. Thunder Boo was one of them, and he was jubilant with happiness. This MD would be his big victory day, he could feel it! The whole of 656 was practically defeated in his eyes. An easy game. He sat down to plan his attack and sent out his troops. He was proud of his extremely strong, invincible T4, and the opponents were, after all, just weak girls in much smaller accounts - so go for it!
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''They''re burning our girls!'' shouted Genny indignantly, staring out at the battlefield, ''look at that! The Thunder Boo has already burnt six of our girls!''
''Only the ones who didn''t listen and didn''t protect themselves,'' sighed one of the Asian generals, ''we told them, but if they don''t listen...''
''That Thunder Boo should be ashamed of himself! With such an account against our girls...'' Genny scolded.
Frogland had joined them. Without saying much, he threw on a black cloak and pulled the hood low over his face. He immediately melted into the darkness.
''Leave him to me,'' he said simply. Then he disappeared out into the night.
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Thunder Boo giggled with excitement. He had already burnt six of the girls, and he had just discovered the seventh girl. She was sitting almost invisibly behind the others in the blackness of the night. Thunder Boo''s enthusiasm soared to unimagined heights. Chuckling, he sent several full marches T4 straight at the girl. Then he leant back and waited with relish for the impact.
He waited. And waited. But the night only responded with silence. And in the middle of this dreadful silence came the reports. And his T4, several full marches, a million soldiers in total, was - gone.
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''Done,'' was all Frogland said as he came back into the entrance hall and took off his cloak, ''I lent the Thunder Boo one of your cake bowls, Evelyne. He''s now sitting in the hive of 652 with the upturned cake bowl on his head and needs to collect himself, I''m afraid.''
Smirking, he placed the reports on the table.
It had suddenly become very quiet on the battlefield outside. No more impacts, no more fire.
Lady Evelyne smiled. ''Would anyone like a piece of cake?''
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Thunder Boo couldn''t believe it. Where was his T4? It had just been there. It couldn''t just be gone, could it? Someone had put a cake bowl upside down on his head and sent him home to Grandma with a comforting pat on the back, some bloke in a black cape he didn''t know. Somehow he only perceived everything as if in a fog anyway. His T4... his invincible, expensive, beautiful T4... where was it? He lifted the tablecloth and stared under the table.
Yikesy came in and frowned at the scene before her. ''What are you looking for under the table, Boo?''
''My T4, grandma. It''s gone. A million T4. It can''t be gone, can it? It''s just hiding. Or maybe it''s lost. On the way back. It was so dark.''
Yikesy laughed out loud. ''I''m afraid it''s gone, my boy. It''s certainly not under the table!''
Thunder Boo jumped to his feet. '' "It''s not gone," he shouted defiantly, ''it can''t be gone! I''m going to look for it! And I''ll find it!''
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Once again, King Mink thought he was in the wrong film. He was absent for a single day due to diarrhoea and then nothing but embarrassment and trouble happened!
''What happened?'' he asked, growling, ''Why are they laughing so loudly over there at 656? It''s MD, isn''t it? They shouldn''t be laughing, they should be crying!''
Yikesy rolled his eyes. ''Thunder Boo wanted to burn their girls and badly overestimated himself. One of their generals was sitting incognito in the seventh account. He killed Thunder Boo''s troops, and how!''
''Did anyone realise that? I mean, as long as there''s no proof and nobody saw it, it didn''t really happen. Nobody will write it down and publish it, I hope...''
This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
''I''m afraid a lot of people will realise, my boy. Look at the MD''s kill point rankings. Their general is number one.''
''One day I''ll burn my own city, I swear!'' roared King Mink, beside himself with rage. ''This can''t be true! What it will cost us in kill trade to eradicate this disgrace and correct the rankings! Nothing but unnecessary costs! I hate it! And now I''m going to finish the guy off!''
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The Thunder brothers had just disposed of the rest of the beer keg and returned to the entrance hall when an angry King Mink came storming in. ''Where''s Thunder Boo?''
''I don''t know, boss! Has something happened?''
''Boah, you''re really pissed...''
''Did he say something about your face?''
''He didn''t say anything about my face,'' Mink raged, ''and you''re not going to say anything either! Where''s the bloke?''
Everyone shrugged their shoulders and tried to make themselves as invisible as possible. If the boss was angry, it was better not to be noticed by him in the first place.
Mink realised that nothing more could be achieved here and stormed out of the hall angrily.
As soon as Mink had disappeared, Thunder Boo crawled out from behind the sofa. ''''It''s not here either,'''' he moaned, ''''where''s my T4?''
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In the clan castle of the 656, Impel stood in the kitchen and slashed violently at a huge piece of meat with her sword. Like everyone else, she wore a kitchen apron over her combat gear and looked magical even in this adventurous outfit. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the physical exertion and her endlessly long hair flowed like a waterfall over both shoulders.
YoMama, who had just entered the kitchen, managed to duck just in time, otherwise she would have been accidentally decapitated by Impel.
''Hey, Impel, watch out, I''m behind you! What are you doing?''
''I''m efficient!'' Impel declared proudly, without stopping hacking wildly at the piece of meat with her sword.
''Huh?''
''Our generals told me to practise with the sword. Lady Evelyne told me to start chopping the meat, because we''re making minced meat with flatbread for everyone today. And Captain Zax said we all urgently need to become more efficient. And now - I''m doing all three things at the same time!''
YoMum nodded enthusiastically. ''That sounds damn good! Can I join in? I want to be efficient too! Wait, I''ll get my sword!''
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While the 656 practised efficiency in its very own way, the 652 was currently the opposite. King Mink hated it. He constantly had to move accounts from one front to another and from one clan to another. He constantly had to play the saviour himself. As if he would enjoy constantly switching back and forth between RxW and RxD just because his people couldn''t get anything done on their own!
His tasks were actually different. He was a thinker, and he knew he was brilliant at it. He had thought ahead, when the others hadn''t even really started the game yet. He had started to act when others had only just begun to think. And he had successfully completed his actions when the others had only just realised with difficulty that there was going to be a war here. Those naive idiots! He was often rumoured to be a Pokemon master who was constantly throwing his Pokeball into all the worlds to catch the big players. Mink didn''t quite see it that way. He preferred to see himself in the role of Spiderman, throwing his strings out into the world in a considered and sensible manner - and hitting the target every time. In this way, he had covered the entire GW bracket with a single giant spider''s web in which everyone else was now wriggling. And no matter how much they wriggled, they all knew that he would win in the end.
Only his own people were a huge nuisance. Like every great leader, Mink had reached a point where his own people annoyed him more than his enemies. Meanwhile, he sometimes had better and more inspiring conversations with his enemies than with his own comrades, who were drunk 99% of the day and embarrassed him everywhere!
And then there were all these supposed brothers and family members of the Thunder family! The biggest dorks now called themselves that, without asking his permission of course. But a prefix was not enough to develop real quality. Mink recognised the need to distance himself somewhat, especially after the latest events. He carefully unlocked the secret chamber to his account and made the necessary changes. He deleted the name ''Thunder Mink'' and renamed himself ''RxWMink''. He nodded with satisfaction. He liked it much better this way.
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''Cluck, cluck, cluck! Come out! Come to daddy!'' Thunder Boo lured his missing T4 downstairs, standing in the empty donkey stable.
''It''s not here, bro!'' roared Thunder Dude, exasperated, ''Get it through your head! Your T4 is dead! Live with it or die with it!''
''It can''t be dead,'' whined the Thunder Boo, ''I had so much trouble building and training it. It just got lost... it can''t find its way home... it was so dark that night...''
Thunder Dude rolled his eyes and gave up. There were things that were just pointless. Unfortunately, convincing Thunder Boo that his T4 was actually dead was one of them.
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In the kitchen of the 656 clan castle, Impel and YoMama simultaneously slashed at the huge mountain of meat with their swords. Captain Zax, who came in, only just managed to dodge.
''Watch out, girls! What on earth are you doing here?''
''We''re efficient!'' shouted YoMum proudly. ''Just like you wanted!''
Captain Zax burst out laughing. ''Well, I would have preferred it if you had saved my beer keg instead of being efficient here now, no shit!''
''Don''t be sad, Zax,'' Impel comforted him, ''I''ll brew you a new beer as soon as I''m done here. I can make you a super tasty raspberry beer.''
''Raspberry beer?'' Captain Zax suddenly felt like he couldn''t breathe.
''We can also make you strawberry beer!'' added YoMama helpfully.
''Raspberry beer? Strawberry beer? Are you serious?'' Captain Zax snorted through both nostrils like a raging bull in the arena.
''Of course I am!'' Impel smiled enchantingly, ''it tastes really good!''
Captain Zax turned on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen. ''Genny! How can I raid my own faction members?''
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It was always a very special moment. Always. And King Mink preferred to enjoy it alone. When he thought about it, this moment was one of his main motivations for playing this game. The moment of absolute takeover. The penetration into the heart of the enemy.
He carefully pressed down the door handle and then slowly and cautiously entered Genny''s former bedroom in the conquered clan castle.
He had saved this moment until last. And he would spend this night here. Alone. Without annoying faction members. Without endless diplomatic emails and other annoying activities. This night was the night of his personal triumph.
The bedroom had been left in a hurry, but it was very pretty and feminine. Mink flopped down on the bed in full gear and didn''t bother to take off his boots, knowing that Genny would be horribly upset if she knew. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the silken bed canopy above him and revelled in the complete peace and quiet around him.
He closed his eyes and felt tiredness slowly setting in. At last.
Something rustled under the bed. Mink was immediately fully alert. The experience of years of fighting provided the necessary adrenalin and at the same time the all-important cold-bloodedness. With a steady hand, Mink reached for the knife that he always wore under the combat gear on his chest. He simulated a few deep breaths to make the potential assassin believe that he was already fast asleep.
Then, in a single lightning-fast movement, he rolled down the side of the bed, grabbed it with one hand and with the other had the blade immediately at his victim''s throat, which he now tore out from under the bed with a jerk.
''YOU?''
''You?''
The Thunder Boo howled desperately. ''Let go of me, ouch, you''re hurting me!''
''Damn it all! Brother, I almost slit your throat! What are you doing under my bed?''
''I''m looking for my T4!'' whined Thunder Boo, ''I mean, it''s got to be somewhere! I''ve been looking for it all day, under every bed, behind every wardrobe, all over the castle and everywhere!''
''Brother, finally get it, your T4 is dead! Dead as a doornail! It''s not coming back and you won''t find it again, especially not under my bed!''
''But that can''t be true! It''s not true. I was much stronger than him. He was only a tiny account against me, and he only had T2, and I had T4, several marches in a row, that''s much better!''
''Get it over with, even if it hurts! The other one was better! He was so much better that he only needed T2 to deal with you!''
''But it can''t be, they were defeated!''
''Well, they sure showed you how it''s done, your defeated ones!''
''Can''t I do a bit more searching in here?''
''No, damn it! Get out of my room now, brother. Be glad I didn''t actually cut your throat. Get the hell out! I don''t want to know what people will think if they find you in my bedroom.''
The donkey''s voice from the 656 stable could be heard clearly in the stillness of the night to every corner of the GW bracket.
''You - are - gay!!!''