《The legends of the GW bracket 649 - 656》


 Prologue

    There was a time when eight great cities went to war against each other that would be talked about for generations to come.


    The eight cities had different backgrounds, but each had its own character. 653 seemed to be the strongest at the beginning, but then the saying that words are stronger than swords proved true. Mink, the king of the 652, succeeded in uniting the great players of all worlds with him through resounding words. The 649 produced wise philosophers who were able to categorise events and therefore remained calm.


    The 656 was a phenomenon, as it was the abandoned harem of the vanished F1FMafia. He had mostly gathered women around him, and then he simply took off at night. His two favourites were hit the hardest. One of them couldn''t stand the pain. She tore her beautiful clothes, cut off her hair and wandered barefoot to another, distant city to join a new alpha male. The other bravely took the helm and tried to find a new alpha male for the abandoned harem in this bracket. But so far their search had been fruitless, and so the lonely women combed their long hair every day, made themselves pretty and sat at the window looking out. The 656 looked like a Sleeping Beauty''s castle to travellers passing by, enchanted and beautiful and waiting to be kissed awake. But it was clear that the ladies of the harem would not come cheap and that their price was high. And only a true alpha would be able to pay that price (which wasn''t money, by the way ;-)).


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    Meanwhile, King Mink was bored out of his mind on the 652. The price of fame and success was that hardly anyone wanted to play with him and contribute to his entertainment. Now he knocked on the doors of the other cities and asked for attacks on himself. But the other cities - out of pure sadism, of course! - refused him. King Mink angrily pondered what he should do. He even asked the Thunder Brothers for advice, but they were hanging around drunk in the anteroom of the dungeon where they had placed their prisoners and were of little help. ''Burn all those who refuse to entertain the king!'' roared one of them. But King Mink hesitated. Burning them all would mean even fewer people to entertain him, because burning people danced and sang so badly. Sir Gorilla of the 649 also refused to be locked in a monkey cage and perform funny tricks there. This also annoyed the king enormously. And as if that wasn''t enough, the philosopher Vind Tr?uble Turf also explained in his latest work: ''Remember, today you''re a king, tomorrow you''re shining shoes. That''s the way it is in this game.''


    King Mink decided to postpone the problem. But one thing was clear: they would all pay for it! If not today, then tomorrow! Or at least at some point!

 The devils grandmother

    King Mink was on the run. He ran as if a thousand devils were after him. The corridors of the clan castle were long and winding, but if he could make it down this one corridor, he would be safe.


    There wasn''t much Mink was afraid of. One, no, two things. The first was hidden so deep inside him that no one knew about it except him and two or three attentive observers. His second fear, on the other hand, was known to everyone in his clan, and it was pursuing him mercilessly.


    Mink ran for his life. The door at the end of the corridor promised safety. The king made a huge leap, tore open the door, jumped through and - collided with someone who had been waiting for him behind the door. The impact was violent, and the king''s face fell softly into what felt like a woman''s breast. Mink froze. Carefully, he lifted his head a little and opened his eyes. Slowly, the image cleared. And then, right in front of his face, he saw two huge tattooed cats grinning sadistically at him.


    The king screamed.


    _______________________


    Down in the anteroom of the dungeon, Thunder Dude widened his eyes and yelled, ''Did you hear that?'' The rest of the Thunder Brothers staggered and tried to get to their feet. The victory binge had been a little too much. The anteroom of the dungeon alone looked as if it had been hit by a bomb. ''What''s going on?'' one of them slurred. ''Someone was shouting! I think it was the boss!'' grunted the Dude. ''Burn everyone!'' mumbled one of them. ''Stupid, the boss was shouting. Shouldn''t we help him?'' ''Oh come on, the stupid dog, he always gets too much attention anyway!'' ''Burn them all!'' ''Who, the boss?'' ''What''s wrong?''


    Shaking his head, Thunder Dude made his way upstairs. At least someone should have a look... you could always burn something later. Or someone. Or whatever.


    _______________________


    Claw-like, bony fingers grabbed the king by the collar and then disaster struck in the form of a voice that rattled like a Kalashnikov and fired volleys of bullets at him. ''So, there you are, boy! Where have you been? Have you even looked at the entrance hall? How many times have I told you to wipe your feet? Take your boots off before you just waltz in, eh?''


    Mink squirmed desperately under the older lady''s grip, who gave him no chance. ''Grandmother, I forgot! I''m sorry! But it was a big fight today, and there...'' ''And you thought you were just going to walk in here, didn''t you? I can see exactly where you were! You were in the desert! There''s sand in the entrance hall! You were in the Z3! There are chunks of earth in the entrance hall! You were fighting! There are bloody weapons in the entrance hall! Who''s going to clean all that up, huh? And you STINK, damn it, and how you stink!''


    ''Grandma, everyone knows I stink, our city is called Stink City, but I...'' ''But you stink of smoke! What have you lit again?'' ''Grandma, there was a clan tower from F1F, I lit it, and then I waited next to it, and they said they were coming soon, and then I had to wait for hours, and then...'' ''And then the smoke had already got into all your clothes, all that time was wasted uselessly, and you moron didn''t realise they were taking the piss out of you. Great, really, my boy!'' ''Grandma, I promise you, I''ll burn everything down there, I''ve already driven them out of Z3, you''ll be proud of me, I''ll...'' ''Shut up! I''ll be proud of you when you wipe your feet and put your weapons away and don''t dirty the entrance hall for me! I have to clean up after you blokes all the time! That''s enough now! Get changed, hang up those smelly clothes to air, and then you sweep the entrance hall and wipe wet down there!''


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    Yikesy angrily shoved the King back and stomped towards the kitchen, where she bumped into the Thunder Dude, who was about to get a coffee to mask the effects of the alcohol. The Dude''s cup fell out of his hand in shock and the Kalashnikov rattled mercilessly.


    ''Youuuuuuu - get the dustpan and clear away the broken glass! And then put the dishwasher away!'' ''But Grandma,'' Thunder Dude dared to protest, ''I''m an important and famous warrior, the whole town respects me and the world trembles before me, and...'' ''AND - YOU - ARE - NOW - PUTTING - THE - DISHWASHER - AWAY!'' A sharp bony finger shot forward and poked the Dude in the chest and back into the kitchen. Then Yikesy threw the kitchen door shut from the outside and pushed the bolts forward with a crash. Furious, she stomped off in the direction of the dungeon.


    The Thunder brothers suspected nothing bad and were far too drunk to realise the disaster that was brewing above them in time. ''Clean up your bloody mess! Clean up your vomit! Or you''ll get to know me!'' Yikesy''s voice was merciless. Helplessly, everyone ducked under the volleys of gunfire and ran to fetch buckets and mops.


    Meanwhile, the King had crept to the kitchen door and quietly asked the Dude if everything was all right with him. The Dude desperately pleaded from inside: ''Let me out, brother!'' And the King wailed desperately from outside: ''I don''t dare, brother, because then she''ll bully me to death!''


    And while the Thunder Brothers were on their knees in the anteroom of the dungeon scrubbing the floor, the Thunder Dude was putting away the dishwasher and the King was sweeping out the entrance hall, Yikesy sat back contentedly and surveyed their work of incipient order and cleanliness.


    When the Dude had finished in the kitchen, but was still locked up, he looked around helplessly for rescue. Finally, his eyes fell on the notepad on which Yikesy was writing her shopping lists. He tore the top sheet and wrote in large letters: ''HELP!'' and a little smaller underneath: ''Yikesy is bullying me'' and his name. He then rolled up the note, slipped it into a bottle, closed it tightly and threw the bottle out of the kitchen window into the river flowing below.


    In the meantime, the king had also completed the tasks set by Yikesy and slowly dared to rejoin the others. He thought feverishly about how he could solve the problem of the evil Russian grandmother. He had won GW1 by poaching players. What if he went the other way round this time? Perhaps he could offer his R4 to 653. Or the 649 in exchange for this Kodaxx or as compensation for the other guys whose names he had already forgotten because there had simply been too many. Unfortunately, he had a bad feeling that no other city would agree to this exchange, and Yikesy probably wouldn''t either. She simply enjoyed harassing everyone here, that was the bad thing. He''d even fled all the way to RxD to avoid her, but it didn''t help, since all of 652 shared a clan castle.


    In the vestibule of the dungeon, he came across the dishevelled bunch of Thunder brothers. Only the Thunder Dude was still languishing alone in the kitchen, as Yikesy thought the dishwasher hadn''t been put away properly enough and made him do it all again under her supervision. Mink desperately reached for a tankard of beer and downed it. ''At least,'' he said consolingly, ''nobody on the outside knows what''s going on here. So we don''t have to worry about them laughing at us somewhere else.'' ''Chief,'' Thunder Cat said cautiously, ''you yourself wrote in the Gouverneurs Chat that you don''t know what you''ve done wrong. Because all the other R5s from the other towns have cute pretty young R4s. And all you had was a nasty old Russian woman bullying you and everyone else. Those were your words.'' There was an icy and horrified silence in the anteroom of the dungeon. Thunder Benexi whispered, ''Crap. If someone read that and memorised it. He could pass it on. Or, even worse, he could write it down and publish it!'' Thunder Boo staggered past, slurring his words: ''Burn everyone! Burn everyone who writes it down and publishes it!''


    Heavy footsteps could be heard in the corridor, then the door opened. Thunder Micke stood in the doorway, holding a hot-off-the-press copy of ''Legends of the GW Bracket 649 - 656''. ''Too late,'' he said gloomily.

 One cross each

    Genny stood at the kitchen window on the upper floor of the clan castle and stared gloomily out onto the battlefield. The clan towers burned in the distance. Several swords leaned against the wall, showing that they had only recently been used.


    ''Do you know when you want to kill someone and then you think up a thousand ways to kill them?'' she asked into the room without turning round.


    ''Of course!'' came the reply from the direction of the cooker, where Lady Evelyne was putting the next tray of muffins in the oven, ''But then I usually think up recipes. For example, I think about whether the oven would be big enough for a lion roast. Or lion lasagne. Sliced lion would also be delicious. Or smoked lion bacon in strips.'' Lady Evelyne closed the oven door with a bang. ''By the way, I''d like a lion skin for my birthday. As a bedside rug.''


    Genny turned round. Only now did she realise that there were three piles of papers on the kitchen table. ''What''s that?''


    ''Today''s post. I''ve already sorted it all. On the left are the poaching emails. On the right are the threatening letters. And the ones in the centre are the ones that contain both.''


    ''Eh?''


    ''Well, some people threaten us first and then try to poach us on the back. Others try to poach us first and then threaten us if we refuse. It''s the same everywhere anyway. And I''m wondering whether I should be offended or not. I''ve written to everyone saying that I can''t do anything and therefore don''t bring any added value to their city. But they all write back the same as Mafia did when he wanted me so badly.''


    ''Like what?''


    ''That they don''t give a shit. That I don''t have to do anything. That my entertainment value is priceless. They even want to pay for me to move. My ENTERTAINMENT VALUE! There you see it again: if you''re completely useless as a fighter, you can still make a career as an entertainer! I''m really considering whether I should be offended!''


    ''OMG. Mail for me too?''


    ''Plenty, darling. Everything on top. Four cities want you as a player, two as a leader. The last two also want to pay for your move. I''ve already utilised the unusable rest.''


    ''What unusable leftovers?''


    ''There were also a few foul mails. One of those blokes out there...'' Lady Evelyne made a slight gesture towards the 652 ''... lost his manners yesterday. He thinks that because they''re winning, he''s now entitled to free sex with us. And we''d have to offer ourselves to him out of fear, to be spared, or whatever. If he doesn''t heed the stop signal I gave him today, he''s gone - and by completely different people.''


    Genny felt the anger boiling up inside her. ''Where are those bloody nasty emails?''


    Lady Evelyne smiled. ''I fuelled the stove with it, my dear. It burned well.''


    Genny sighed. ''Well, rumour has it that one of the girls from 649 has been offering CAM sessions to the big boys in the Discord. Probably leads to a bit of a shift in perception and self-assessment.''


    Lady Evelyne placed a fragrant fresh muffin in front of Genny. ''Eat this, my dear. There''s nothing a good piece of cake can''t fix.''


    Before Genny could even take his first bite, the door suddenly opened and Impel came in. Or rather, she floated in. What could be said about Impel was that she was certainly one of the most beautiful women in the former harem of the F1FMafia. Her long dark flowing hair, dreamy big velvet eyes and full lips made her an exquisite beauty. She was also a kind-hearted, compassionate person who you couldn''t help but love. Right now she was carefully gathering up her flowing robes, adjusting the slipped neckline and shouting desperately: ''Look what I''ve found outside! We have to go and rescue the poor chap now!''


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    ''Please what?'' asked Genny confused, ''Who do you want to free? What did you find?''


    The beauty held an object in the air: ''A bottle! Down by the river! And look what was inside! A cry for help!''


    Impel unfolded the note, which all three women bent over. ''HELP!'' was written on it. And underneath: ''Yikesy is bullying me. Thunder Dude.''


    The girl opened her big velvet eyes in horror: ''I think we should go and help him right away!''


    Lady Evelyne smiled: ''I think we should invite Yikesy for coffee.''


    Genny hissed, ''I think you should take a look outside! Thunder Dude, yeah? That''s the guy out there burning our towers right now!''


    Impel was pleased: ''But that''s good, then we won''t have far to go if we want to rescue and free him!''


    ''A brilliant idea, really! Everyone take a sword and then we''ll set off to free the Thunder Dude. There''s a good chance that RxD won''t die in battle, but from laughter. That''s another way to win the war.''


    Impel smiled dreamily. ''I''m sure he''s a very dear one! And just listen to how desperate he sounds. If you give me a coordinate, I''ll do it and free him. But please only give me one. The other day you wrote two coordinates in the chat, which confused me. I didn''t know which one to go to.''


    Lady Evelyne put the next tray in the oven and nodded. ''Sounds very sensible, Genny. Like in the film Life of Brian. One cross each. One coordinate each.''


    Genny closed her eyes and tried to breathe evenly and calmly.


    Impel grabbed one of the swords leaning against the wall and suddenly looked like a medieval angel statue with her flowing hair, flowing robes and sword in her hand. She waved the sword to try it out. Lady Evelyne and Genny gave each other a quick glance, then Genny leapt forwards and gently took the sword from Impel''s hand.


    ''Dear, you shouldn''t pick up something like that. You''ll hurt yourself later. Leave it to the boys.''


    ''They''re all hanging out downstairs in the Knights'' Hall and are drunk!''


    ''I still don''t want you to get hurt! Yesterday one of the girls accidentally attacked herself. And Little Miss really wanted to join in too and... heavens! I can''t even think about what could have happened!''


    ''Just one coordinate each,'' came the know-it-all tone from the direction of the cooker, ''then it should work.''


    While Impel dreamily reached for her harp instead of her sword and sat down by the window to sing sad love songs, the door opened again and the visibly drunk Captain Zax staggered into the kitchen.


    ''There''s someone outside who wants to marry Genny,'' he mumbled.


    ''Oh, it must be Vind!'' Lady Evenlyne exclaimed, ''He proposed to her yesterday in the governor''s mansion! It was sooo romantic!''


    ''No,'' slurred Captain Zax, ''It''s a donkey! He says he''s travelled through ten worlds in search of true love. Now he wants to join here and marry Genny.''


    ''Oh, how romantic!'' exclaimed Impel dreamily.


    ''Oh, but I don''t want to!'' exclaimed Genny most unromantically, ''And now?''


    ''Then, he says, he''ll emigrate to America.''


    Impel had jumped up. ''Can I have a carrot for the donkey, please? Look, he''s out there, he''s sooo cute!''


    Lady Evelyne handed Impel a carrot and made a note in parallel on her recipe pad: carrot salad with pickled lion.


    Captain Zax stared at the swords on the wall. ''I''m going to fight again later. When I''m sober again. Where should I go?''


    Genny pointed outside with a vague gesture. ''Where there''s a fire. Everywhere, really. You can''t miss it.''


    ''But only one coordinate each!'' came a warning from the direction of the cooker.


    While Captain Zax staggered out of the kitchen again and Impel fed the donkey the carrot, Genny grabbed the note with the Dude''s call for help, took one of the knives from the kitchen table and rammed the note into the wall.


    ''Hey!'' protested Lady Evelyne, ''That was one of my best cake knives! What am I supposed to cut the cake with now?''


    Genny grumbled and retreated to her observation post by the window. Downstairs, Impel was cuddling with the donkey, who was clearly enjoying it. Every now and then he freed himself from her embrace and shouted in the direction of the 652: ''You''re all gay!''


    Genny turned round towards the lady with a sigh: ''Dear friend, you know I really appreciate your advice. What do you say to this, any idea of a solution?'' She pointed to the burning clan towers.


    Lady Evelyne thought about it and nodded. She reached for - the key to the pantry.


    ''Marshmallows. The order of the day is marshmallows. If there''s a fire anyway, there''s nothing that can top a good marshmallow party.''

 Cry!

    The 652 had relocated its main base and moved to a provisory base on the Z2 site, which had previously belonged to the 656. Their clan castle had now moved to within sight and call distance.


    Smiling, Yikesy hid a pink envelope in the provisional kitchen, from which hung a beautifully wrapped baked heart with pink icing. Then she put on her best hat, wrapped the woollen scarf around her shoulders and discreetly disappeared through the back door.


    Mink was the only one to notice her departure, and he was careful not to stop her. Firstly, Yikesy wouldn''t let him tell her anything anyway. And secondly, maybe he was lucky! They were in the middle of enemy territory. Maybe someone would kidnap and imprison Yikesy and never let her out again. Maybe they would demand such a high ransom for Yikesy that he could credibly assure them that he was broke, couldn''t possibly raise the money, and that he regretted it sooo much. After all, he was so attached to his Russian grandmother! As a test, Mink stood in front of the mirror and tried to squeeze out a few tears. He only half succeeded.


    A door banged behind him.


    ''Cry!'' Kodaxx''s voice barked at him. ''There are plenty of reasons for that!''


    King Mink turned round in disgust. This new acquisition from his Pokeball clearly lacked respect for him! ''Why?'' he asked irritably.


    ''Because you should take a shower again, for example? You stink!''


    ''I never shower! Stinking is my trademark! How dare you...''


    ''Cry me a river!''


    ____________________________________


    In the clan castle of the 656 they were busy packing. Little Miss was looking for her sword and was sure she had it yesterday. She suspected either Genny or Lady Evelyne of having hidden it so that she wouldn''t hurt herself. Captain Zaxpool was drunk as ever and looking for the right door. And Impel was hugging her donkey tightly and whispering sweet nothings in his ear.


    Lady Evelyne was busy ironing. She carefully ironed all the aprons to the edge and then stowed them away as neatly as possible in the moving boxes. Genny''s mood had not improved. She stared either out of the window or into the room. Meanwhile, the towers directly in front of the castle were also on fire.


    ''Do you think we''ll make it in time to pack?'' she asked in the direction of the ironing board where Lady Evelyne was standing.


    ''Sure, sure. It just needs to be done properly here. I don''t fancy having to iron everything again after unpacking.''


    ''Will there be any problems?''


    ''At best with Captain Zaxpool. I don''t know if it will be transportable, as full as he is. He''ll end up spilling over on the way, that could be disgusting. Oh, and the donkey. Impel wants to take him with her. But she''s fed him so many carrots that he''s become fat and round. We''ll have to roll him.''


    Loud shouts could be heard outside the castle.


    Lady Evelyne sighed, put the iron aside and opened the window. Outside stood the Thunder Dude accompanied by King Mink and Kodaxx.


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    ''Could you please attack me?'' the Dude shouted hopefully up to the window, ''That would be so cool! I''m so bored! I only do very little!''


    ''No!'' Lady Evelyne shouted back.


    ''Why not?''


    ''Because I''m a self-confessed sadist! You don''t get what you want from me on principle!''


    ''For God''s sake!''


    ''Cry!'' laughed Kodaxx.


    ''What about me?'' Mink tried his luck, ''Would you please attack me? There are only 200,000 of me in here, and only Josi and Vaiana as reinforcements, you can spy on it! Please, please, please!''


    ''No!''


    ''Why not?''


    ''For the same reasons as your mate!''


    ''For God''s sake!''


    ''Cry!''


    Lady Evelyne slammed the window shut with a crash, causing Genny to shout in horror: ''Careful, the window pane is about to fall out!''


    ''Never mind, we''re moving anyway.''


    ''That''s true again. And they''re going to...''


    ''Burn everything!'' roared from outside.


    ''Who''s that again?'' Genny jumped up towards the window, ''Oh heavens, that''s our own. And all completely drunk. They''re going the wrong way!''


    Genny dropped everything and ran downstairs to turn the fighting party round in time for them to run in the right direction.


    ___________________________


    Meanwhile, in the provisional meeting room of the 652''s temporary clan base, the victory celebration was in full swing. The Thunder brothers were eager to drink and could hardly believe their luck. Everything was going so smoothly! One victory after another! What a success!


    In the midst of the victory hymns that were being shouted at the top of their lungs, Thunder Galal jumped onto the table and puffed himself up like a bullfrog. He drummed his chest wildly with both fists and roared: ''I''m the strongest! I''ve finished them all off!'' He turned round and roared in the direction of the 649: ''You''re all so weak it''s pathetic! Aren''t you too embarrassed and ashamed of yourselves? Mr. Bubble! Losers! Weaklings!''


    Fortunately, he didn''t see the Thunder Dude rolling his eyes behind him, so he continued to shout: ''We''ve destroyed City 649! You are down! You''ll grovel before us, muhahahaha!''


    The Thunder Dude closed his eyes in agony. It was a bitter moment when he realised that his own people were embarrassing in the moment of their victory and the losers came across as much more confident, relaxed and humorous. And he sensed that this moment would be followed by many more.


    __________________________


    With the help of Pieston and MaKeDon, Impel tried to squeeze her donkey through the castle gate. She had indeed fed him too much and the animal had put on a lot of weight. Her cute little donkey had grown into a fat, round, veritable donkey monster.


    All three of them overlooked the elegant figure with the very tasteful hat, who scurried in through a side door of the clan castle in the background and left it the same way about an hour later.


    With a loud ''plop'', they finally managed to heave the donkey through the castle gate.


    ''You''re all gay!'' the donkey complained about the rough treatment.


    ''Muahahahaha!'' rang out from the clan base of the 652.


    ''You too!'' roared the donkey.


    ''Cry!''


    ___________________________


    Genny had returned upstairs to the kitchen and was amazed. It smelled delicious and Lady Evelyne had abandoned the ironing board and was stirring a red soup in a large saucepan.


    ''What''s that?'' asked Genny excitedly, realising how her appetite was growing immeasurably.


    ''Russian borsch. An original recipe from a - friend.'' Lady Evelyne smiled gently. ''I''ve exchanged ironing tips for it.''


    One by one, she scooped up 87 plates full. 87, that''s how many were left.


    Genny grabbed her plate and could hardly wait. Little by little, the kitchen filled up with hungry warriors.


    Lady Evelyne''s last sentence still echoed in her mind, and she couldn''t help but ask. ''Ironing tips?''


    ''Yes. My - friend wants to iron someone''s face if he doesn''t finally take a shower. So that will be - today.''


    The first shrill cries rang out from the provisional clan base next door.


    ''I''ve given her tips on choosing the right temperature and settings. And on smoothing out wrinkles, of course.''


    The screams from the neighbouring building increased immeasurably, and in between there were repeated mocking interjections that sounded like ''Cry!!!''.


    ''And she gave you the original recipe for Russian borsch in return?''


    ''Yes, and not only that. The best thing is: she said it also works with lion meat.''

 Run!

    The group hurried through the darkness. Everything was burning behind them. As quickly as possible, the clan moved away from their previous hive and tried to reach the border of Z1.


    They had misjudged, but badly. While everyone thought they still had time, the 652 suddenly approached the clan castle from the other side at the same time.


    When it shouted ''Burn everything!'' outside, the clan members thought it was just another group of their own members running in the wrong direction. How could they be so wrong!


    And then the clan castle was on fire, and what should have been an orderly and well-organised retreat turned into an uncontrolled escape.


    Genny at the front turned round and tried to survey the hastily advancing group.


    ''Is everyone out? Have we got everyone?''


    ''My hooves hurt. Is it still far?''


    ''Is anyone missing?''


    ''I don''t know! It''s bloody dark here!''


    ''Why don''t someone light a torch?''


    ''Are you mad? Then they''ll see where we are!''


    Cursing and swearing, the group made their way through the darkness. Suddenly Hendrix shouted: ''The lady''s missing!''


    Genny rolled his eyes. ''She wanted to finish ironing! Not ten horses could get her off her ironing board. She said she''d join us!''


    Hendrix looked around worriedly. ''What if something happens to her?''


    ''Nothing happens to her! Nothing ever happens to bad people!''


    ''Can we slow down a bit?'' complained KittySVG, ''I can''t go that fast! Besides, I have to carry the basket with my cat!''


    ''Oh yes, please!'' some shouted, ''And the luggage is so heavy!''


    Genny thought about it. ''Maybe we could put a few pieces of luggage on the donkey...''


    ''You''re gay! Don''t even think about it! I''m not a packhorse! I have pride and dignity! Besides, I want to leave anyway.''


    ''Leave my little donkey alone,'' Impel scolded, ''Look how hard he''s having it. He''s already panting!''


    ''Yes, because you''ve fed him so much fat! He can''t even carry his own weight!''


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    ''You''re gay!''


    Captain Zaxpool, who was walking side by side with Scorpion further back, looked around worriedly.


    ''They''re chasing us, shit,'' he whispered to the man running next to him, ''Do you think we''ll reach the border in time?''


    Scorpion swayed his head back and forth thoughtfully. It was an oppressive situation. Time and again, individual members furtively dived into the bushes to the left and right. Ostensibly just to do a quick job, but everyone knew that they were secretly looking for ways into other cities and that they would only be seen again when the total number of players would force the clans to form new alliances.


    The train in front slowed down, as some of them were almost unable to go any further. Suddenly there was a crash in the bushes next to them, and instead of one person stealthily slipping away, Lady Evelyne stumbled onto the path with a less than graceful movement. ''There I am!'' she shouted out of breath. ''Just barely made it! All ironed and ready.'' She proudly held up a large box with the ironed aprons in one hand. Her outfit could only be described as adventurous: In her other hand she held a large sack and on her head she wore an upside-down glass cake bowl from which pink icing dripped onto her hair.


    Genny stared at the lady in bewilderment. ''What''s that on your head?''


    ''Oh, I needed a helmet when I ran out... the ceiling panelling in the hall was already coming down because everything was on fire. Didn''t we used to have a fireman in the clan? Where is he anyway? - Never mind. It wasn''t enough for me to wash the bowl. But at least it was better than the bowl that Ghost stuck to my head with superglue. It took me months to get the glue out of my hair again. Icing, on the other hand, is good for your hair. It''s a natural hair setting agent. When I braid my hair later, I''ll have beautiful curls tomorrow!''


    Before Genny could say anything back, a loud crash sounded from the end of the train and a cascade of fire spread. Secauto and two other girls, who had fallen back from the group out of exhaustion, cried out with a shriek.


    ''They''re throwing firebombs! Damn, they''re close!''


    ''Quick,'' said the donkey, ''Put Secauto and the other two girls on my back. They can''t take any more. I''ll carry them. But don''t you dare add a single package! And then let''s get out of here! - And before I forget: You''re all gay!''


    The group ran as fast as they could across the plain, crouching so as not to present a target. They went up a small hill, from there it wasn''t far to the border.


    Captain Zax turned round. Whole clouds of shadows were after them, gloomy as orcs in the dark. And they were damn close. Zax handed his knapsack to Scorpion and pulled out his axe.


    ''Run!'' he shouted forwards to Genny, ''I''ll be able to hold them off for a while!''


    Genny turned round, ''Are you mad? You''re all alone against a hundred!''


    ''I''m a dwarf, remember? Run, you stupid elves! You just want some of the enemies, but there aren''t enough for everyone! These are mine, muahahaha! I''m not sharing!''


    Genny took a deep breath and wanted to say something in reply.


    Then Zaxpool shouted at the top of his voice: ''And besides, I''m the train boss! No one is above the train boss but God!''


    Then he turned to the approaching enemies on the plain: ''Come here if you dare, you damned cowards! Here stands a dwarf, you filthy orcs! The numbers aren''t in your favour and it''s an unfair fight, but sometimes war is unfair!''


    A dark shadow emerged from the crowd next to Genny. It was irrr, his long dark hair tied back, his katana and wakizashi crossed on his back. He indicated a bow towards Genny and spoke, ''I will cover the retreat. But do as he says. Don''t hesitate.''


    Genny took another deep breath and then did what she always did, even if she had never asked for such a situation herself: she took charge.


    ''Run. Quick!''


    All together, with Genny in the lead, they ran towards the safe border.

 High treason

    King Mink looked around the clearly coked entrance hall of the former clan castle of the 656, which was now his. The rest of the castle was still in pretty good shape, but the entrance hall had taken a beating. Half of the ceiling panelling was on the floor, and what was still hanging half-attached was being dragged down by his victory-drunk Thunder brothers and thrown onto a large pile on the floor.


    ''Burn it all!'' they shouted enthusiastically, and some of them actually pulled out their matches.


    ''Are you crazy, you idiots!'' shouted Mink, ''do it outside, if at all!''


    ''But boss, we''re supposed to set fire to all the enemy buildings!''


    ''We''ve conquered this one, you lowlife morons! It''s ours now! You''re setting fire to our own building!''


    Grumbling, the Thunder brothers packed up the matches again. After careful consideration, they had to realise that their king was right.


    One of them took a closer look at the boss and sniggered: ''Brother, what happened to your face? Did you get too close to the fire?''


    Others also noticed the boss''s visibly changed appearance.


    ''You look terrible!''


    ''No, he was already ugly before!''


    ''Rumour has it that Yikesy ironed his face because he refused to take a shower...''


    ''Oh boy. So now he not only stinks, but he''s also ugly...''


    ''Well, I think he looks better! At least the wrinkles are gone! He looks so rejuvenated!''


    ''No, he looks like Quasimodo.''


    The door to the back corridor opened and Lipsyte entered the room. He was about to say something else when his eyes fell on Mink.


    ''OMG, what happened to your face? You''re completely burnt!''


    Mink snorted. ''It''s nothing!''


    ''Have you had plastic surgery? Or adeep chemical peeling? I had something like that once, and I looked similar, and...''


    ''I didn''t have plastic surgery, damn it!''


    ''That''s right. That probably wouldn''t do you any good either.''


    Mink gasped for air. Another unsuspecting member entered the room.


    ''Oh, boss, that happened to your face?''


    ''That''s enough!'' roared Mink, ''Just do your jobs and don''t annoy me! The next person who asks me stupidly what happened to my face, I''ll burn him with my own hands!''


    The hall was immediately as quiet as a mouse. Everyone ducked down.


    Then the door clanged behind Mink and Kodaxx came cheerfully into the room: ''Oh, brother! You look like shit. What happened to your face?''


    Mink rolled his eyes in despair. ''Oh, not you of all people, please! It will be a bit difficult to do it with you...''


    ___________________________________________________


    Genny sat at the table in the entrance hall of their new base, which was actually one of their old bases. They had left it back then to move to the desert and had now returned to it. Fortunately, they had found everything exactly as they had left it, and so now there was a bustling scurry as they stowed their luggage and put away the supplies they had taken with them.


    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ''How many are left?'' Genny asked sombrely.


    ''We should have a roll call,'' replied Lady Evelyne, still carrying her upturned cake bowl with the icing dripping from it on her head. ''But if I''ve missed it right, another 84.''


    ''There were more of us yesterday.''


    ''Yesterday was yesterday and today is today.''


    ''Who have we lost?''


    ''Well, the ones who are leaving now are some of the eunuchs, it seems to me.''


    ''Eunuchs? Aren''t they those guys with no balls? Is that what we had here?'' asked Genny, aghast.


    ''Genny, dearest - we''re a former harem, remember? Of course we had eunuchs. They just never really stood out. So they won''t be missing when they leave. I''ve written to the leadership of the 652 and announced that our eunuchs will be joining them, and that we are very happy that they are taking them.''


    ''Huh? That makes me wonder. What do they want with these guys with no balls?''


    ''The answer gives me much more to wonder about. Maybe it was a machine response from the AI. They wrote back that these players would fit in very well with their team.''


    _____________________________________________________


    The rioting and looting of the Thunder brothers in the former clan castle of the 656 never ended. Mink retreated to the upper floors in search of quieter rooms. Behind a wooden door, he found a tidy kitchen in which the fire had only slightly damaged one wall. Relieved, Mink closed the door behind him and looked around. A cake knife with pink icing stuck to it was still in the sink. An ironing board was leaning in the corner, next to it - a cold shiver ran down the king''s spine - was an iron on the shelf.


    ''Have you had a shower?''


    Mink wheeled round with a shout. He hadn''t heard Yikesy come in, perhaps she had already hidden in this room. Now she was standing right behind him.


    ''Not yet, Grandma. But I''ll do it soon. I promise. Or later. But in any case, today... or...''


    With a smug smile in the direction of the iron, Yikesy left the kitchen, humming.


    Mink dropped onto a kitchen chair, breathing heavily. Damn! Yikesy was just everywhere, and she always heard everything! That woman was just a nightmare! He was trying to process the shock when his eyes fell on a piece of paper that someone had rammed into the wall with a cake knife.


    Astonished, Mink pulled the knife out of the wall and took the note.


    ''HELP!'' was written on it in large letters. And smaller underneath: ''Yikesy is bullying me. Thunder Dude.''


    With trembling hands, Mink took a pen from the kitchen counter and wrote underneath: ''Me too! Mink.'' Then he rolled up the note, put it in a bottle, closed it tightly and threw it out of the window into the river below.


    __________________________________________


    The roll call in the new old clan castle of the 656 revealed that even more people were missing than expected. They were worried about Captain Zax, who was still overdue. Zax the dwarf, who had stood alone against a hundred. What madness!


    Genny counted the heads of her loved ones over and over again. An unsettling feeling crept over her. She suddenly had the vague certainty that she had forgotten something very important.


    ''Little Miss!''


    A single cry set the ball rolling. ''Little Miss is missing!''


    ''Damn it - she was still in the building when we ran off... she must have stayed behind... how could this have happened?''


    Genny pushed aside the people standing in her way and took off running. Straight out of the castle, back the way they had come, straight towards the ranks of the enemy.


    ''Genny!'' Several girls wanted to follow her.


    Frog and Ace pulled her back.


    ''Leave her alone. She''s doing the right thing. She''ll be fine.''


    _________________________________________


    Mink had never been so annoyed by the roar of his Thunder brothers as he was that night. He had worked hard to get to this point. How hard, only his closest confidants and, strangely enough, his enemies knew, who paradoxically often paid him more respect for this than his own people.


    The looting and roaring horde had reached the upper floors and found a laundry basket full of the girls'' worn underwear.


    Now the Thunder brothers were fighting over the laundry to the point where it was a real embarrassment. Mink decided to urgently recruit more women in future. The only problem was that there were far fewer women than men in his favourite T4 accounts. He was already much closer to his dream of a clan consisting only of T4 accounts, and if he was honest with himself, women were only a nuisance. Yikesy was bad enough - he didn''t need any more of that kind.


    Once again, he looked around the kitchen to see if the enemies had left anything interesting behind. A corner of paper peeked out from under the hob, and Mink bent down with interest. He pulled out the piece of paper and was immediately electrified.


    Yikesy''s handwriting! What was a note written by Yikesy herself doing here, in the heart of the enemy''s castle? Was his R4 secretly corresponding with the enemy?


    Mink sat down at the kitchen table under high tension and began to read. ''Russian Borsch''... what was that supposed to be? There were numbers, apparently quantities, and various ingredients. It looked like a recipe. Obviously a secret code?


    No more shivers of cold, shivers of joy ran down the king''s spine. He would decipher this code. And then - at last! - he would be able to get rid of Yikesy. A charge of high treason. Then burn her. At last! Never again would that vicious old Russian woman harass him and iron his face. Never again!

 Shit!

    Who had first thought of using the relatively short distance between the two clan castles to exchange mutual insults could not be determined afterwards. The only thing that was certain was that it was used eagerly.


    One of the lower-ranking Thunder brothers, who felt very important, stood at the northern window of the newly conquered clan castle of 652 and shouted at the top of his lungs. At the western window of 656 stood an angry Russian doing the same.


    ''You''re all embarrassing!''


    ''And you first!''


    ''I said it first!''


    ''No!''


    ''Yes, you did!''


    ''No!''


    ''Yes!''


    ''No!''


    ''Yes!''


    Genny had returned from her mission a short time later in a much better mood and with a smile on her lips. ''Just diplomacy,'' she waved them off when the others asked her anxiously, ''don''t worry about it.''


    However, she remained silent about the content of her mission.


    The entrance hall was already much tidier and Lady Evelyne was tying on one of her neatly ironed kitchen aprons to take care of dinner.


    One of the members pursed his lips and complained: ''What took you so long to catch up with us? I think it''s completely crazy that you were still ironing your aprons and cooking!''


    ''Prioritisation. Simply prioritisation. Thunder Benexi also says that it''s incredibly important to get your priorities right.''


    ''We''re in the middle of a war and you''re cooking? Are those your priorities?''


    ''Well, yes. If the rulers of this world thought more about how to feed people instead of killing them, it might be more productive. I''m just saying. And now I''d like to quote Kodaxx.''


    __________________________________________


    After a long search, Thunder Dude had finally found his mate in the kitchen. Mink was sitting at the table, obsessively chewing on a pencil while poring over a paper.


    ''What''s that?''


    ''A secret code. Yikesy. She''s corresponding with the enemy. I''ll find out what is written here, and then I''ll burn her!''


    Thunder Dude pondered the scene doubtfully. Burn Yikesy? She was probably the devil herself and would feel right at home in the fire!


    ''Coordinates'', Mink giggled maniacally, ''they must be coordinates. Here, these numbers. All encoded.''


    ''Genny''s tiles maybe'', said the Dude thoughtfully, ''You know - we''re sure we''ve got a leak. A spy. A traitor. I wonder if this is one of those warning notes with the coordinates?''


    He took a closer look at the note.


    At the bottom was another sentence in a different language. ''What does this mean?''


    ''Hm, someone has added something. A different handwriting. I''ll translate it for you.''


    ''That''s German...''


    ''It says: ''Even works with lion meat''!''


    ''Someone else wrote that. But who?''


    Suddenly the Dude shouted: ''I know that handwriting! I''ve written with her! That''s Lady Evelyne!''


    ''You write with her? Tell me, does EVERYONE here correspond with the enemy? Why?''


    ''She wrote me that their eunuchs were coming over and joining us,'' replied the Dude, absent-mindedly and completely focussed on the note.


    ''Eunuchs? Aren''t they those guys with no balls?''


    ''Yes. I wrote back to her that they''d be a good fit for us.''


    __________________________________________


    Meanwhile, the Thunder brothers had discovered masses of alcohol in the cellar of the newly conquered clan castle. They enthusiastically pounced on the supplies. The good mood finally escalated when they discovered a huge barrel of beer in a separate vault.


    King Mink could no longer concentrate on the important task of decoding the discovered note due to the constant noise. Angrily, he made his way to the cellar.


    ''Tell me, do you have to make such an incredible noise? Do you want to drink yourselves out of your minds for good? I''m trying to think! I know it''s a completely alien activity for you, but if I wasn''t constantly doing the thinking for everyone here, we''d already be as fucked as all the other cities! Oh boy... sometimes I think you all share just one brain cell!''


    ''Tomorrow is MD, boss!'' roared one of the Thunder brothers cheerfully, ''We''re already celebrating our victory! Let''s have some fun! Come on, have a drink too!''


    Mink rolled his eyes, but then had a tankard of beer handed to him. This drunken gang here was only bearable if you were drunk yourself. He downed the tankard in one gulp.


    _________________________________________


    ''Lady Evelyne is just a noob and has no skills!'' roared from the direction of 652.


    ''That''s right!'' the woman yelled back cheerfully.


    ''All you can do is bake cakes and write embarrassing rubbish!''


    ''That''s right too!''


    Silence. The 652 team were obviously thinking hard about what else they could shout.


    ''How long until the next sentence comes?'' giggled SGH, who was standing in the background making coffee.''


    ''Five minutes at least'', yoMama surmised, ''when they were shouting earlier that Genny''s pink boots look totally crap and would fit the donkey better, it actually took them ten minutes to come up with the next sentence. It''ll be fun when they realise that we''ve actually put the boots on the donkey.''


    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    __________________________________________


    Mink had run every decoding programme he had over the note and tried everything imaginable. Tomorrow was MD, and he was determined to finish before then. He almost had the impression that he could be more creative under the effect of the alcohol, finding more possibilities for what the letters and numbers could mean. It seemed to be a stronger beer than what he was used to. A German beer, obviously, but it tasted fantastic. He had one of his brothers bring him a refill straight away.


    The Dude stuck his head in the door: ''Don''t take too much longer, brother, you should be fit tomorrow. We''re going to take them apart for good, that''s what we planned.''


    ''I''d like to take Yikesy down with me,'' muttered the King, ''burn the Russian and German grandmothers together. It will be a feast!''


    Suddenly he faltered. He looked in disbelief at the combinations that suddenly appeared before his eyes. Electrified, he jumped up and grabbed the Dude by the shoulders. ''I''ve got it, brother, I''ve got it!''


    ''What? How?''


    ''I cracked this bloody code! Look at this!''


    The Thunder Dude looked at the jumbled jumble of numbers and letters that his king had written down on various scraps of paper and didn''t understand a thing.


    ''Take a look!''


    ''I''m looking, brother, but it doesn''t make any sense! You''re already too drunk, I think!''


    ''Yes, I''ve got the code! Here - look - I translated the note into Japanese first. Then I rearranged the numbers. Then translated it into Korean. Then changed the numbers again. Then translated into Spanish. Then rearranged the letters. Then restored some of the Japanese characters from the first translation, translated their figurative meaning into English and doubled them. Added the numbers and then subtracted the sum of the remaining letters. And then...''


    The Thunder Dude felt like he was riding a rollercoaster without a seatbelt. His best friend for countless years of fighting was completely bonkers, that much was certain. His obsession with trying to decode the note had obviously completely blown his mind.


    ''Brother, sit down, calm down. Maybe have a glass of water in between, not more of that beer.''


    ''Stop pretending I''m stupid. Here, it makes a complete sentence now!''


    Thunder Dude bent over the piece of paper and read out loud: ''All players in big accounts who claim to be IRL lorry drivers are actually male strippers.''


    _________________________________________


    The Dude stared at Mink in surprise. ''What''s that supposed to mean?''


    Mink chuckled triumphantly. ''It means that some people here have screwed us big time. This isn''t about betrayal, this is about secret information that can be useful in other ways. The sum of the numbers equals the amount of tips that are collected! And it''s so high that it can only be gay clubs! No male stripper can earn that much with a female audience. And the one underneath, look, that''s the solution set.''


    The scales fell from Thunder Dude''s eyes. He snapped his fingers. ''That''s right! ''Even works with lion meat'' - that''s a reference to F1FMafia! ''Lion'' was his nickname! He also sat in a big account and claimed to be a lorry driver IRL!'' He paused for a moment. ''Er, Mink, my friend... don''t we have someone in our clan who claims to be an IRL lorry driver?''


    Mink''s nose had turned a little greenish, but his burnt face made it hard to see.


    ''I''m afraid I really need to go for a shit!'' he said and then ran out of the room as if chased by lions.


    _____________________________________


    ''We will destroy you all!'' it shouted from the direction of the 652.


    Since no one on her side seemed to answer, Genny went to the window and opened it. ''We know that!'' she yelled back.


    ''You''re a bitch!''


    ''I know that too!''


    ''And your R4 has pink icing in her hair and no skills!''


    ''She knows that too!''


    Silence on the other side. They searched hard for further insults. Genny knew this could take a while and closed the window.


    She sat back down at the kitchen table with Lady Evelyne, who was sipping her teacup in amusement.


    ''Do you think we can still achieve anything here?'' asked Genny thoughtfully. ''I mean, apart from the rearguard battles? Irrr was very successful now, he got four people... but some of the others? Sometimes I think I didn''t do enough here when I had to spontaneously take over the clan on the night of the highest betrayal.''


    ''I mean you''ve accomplished a lot, Genny. Look at the girls. All they could do before was sing and dance and beat a tambourine. Now they can hold a sword.''


    ''They can hold it, but they can''t handle it!''


    ''They''ll learn that too, Genny. You encouraged them. Because you have that girls-support-girls attitude.''


    ''But look at them! They wear high heels with their combat gear!''


    ''They value their appearance, my dear. As former harem girls, they have been brought up to do so. Mafia has chosen his girls for their beauty, willingness and youth.'' She hesitated briefly and looked down at herself. ''Okay, and sometimes for their entertainment value. Besides, what do you want anyway: you even wear pink boots with your combat gear!''


    Genny tried to hide her feet under the kitchen table ''I''m a bitch! Bitches ALWAYS wear high heels! And by the way, you wear them too!''


    ''I''m a lady, darling. I don''t want to look like I have club feet. These combat boots are terribly undressable and you trample around so ungracefully in them.''


    ''And you''re wearing a kitchen apron with your combat gear!''


    ''Impel is making mince with flatbread for everyone tonight. I''ll assist her with the cooking in a minute. And our generals have told us to keep our combat gear on, no matter what. Even when sleeping and stuff. Tomorrow is MD.''


    ''You know, that''s what worries me. You''re thinking about baking cakes and cooking. Our Austrian captain is always drunk. Our fireman runs away at the first real fire. Our girls wear high heels with their combat gear. Our combat teams run in the wrong direction. And there are fewer of us every day. Our men are running away to the enemy.''


    ''The eunuchs are running away,'' Lady Evelyne corrected gently, ''the men are staying.''


    Genny sighed deeply. ''I don''t know if we''ll make it as a former harem. Each of our girls knows about 150 different ways to make a man happy and drive him out of his mind in full ecstasy. Okay, I know a few hundred more. Still, I''d rather they knew 150 different ways to change formation quickly! What am I supposed to do?''


    Lady Evelyne reached across the table for Genny''s hand.


    ''Dear friend, they will learn. Because you made them strong for it. And no matter how this turns out, I will always remember you as Penthesileia, who never shied away from a fight or responsibility, and who trusted her women above all to persevere in hard times.''


    ______________________________________________________


    Suddenly, staggering footsteps and loud roaring could be heard from outside, then the visibly drunk Captain Zax staggered into the hall. He was greeted by shouts of enthusiasm. He waved a bottle and slurred: ''Too much honour, I think I got some too. Those damn cowards didn''t stand a chance. It was so boring that I was half-dead at the end and had no troops left. Bloody orcs. At least I came out second best. And those pathetic bastards are only in second last place.'' He burped loudly and tried to wrest one last sip from the now empty bottle. Unsuccessfully. Angrily, he threw it out of the window.


    ''Hey!'' the lady was outraged, ''You''ll clean that up later! Your way of disposing of rubbish is bad for the planet!''


    ''There was only vodka left anyway, the angry Russian had left the bottle there before he left. Where''s my liquid bread? Does anyone know where my beer barrel is?''


    He looked around searching.


    Genny bit her lips.


    ''It was down in the cellar when we had to escape... but it was so huge, we couldn''t... er... I''m sorry...''


    Zax froze, suddenly looking stone cold sober. ''You''re not serious, are you? You left my beer barrel over there in the cellar?''


    ''There was a bit of an accident, as it were,'' Lady Evelyne intervened, ''the girls couldn''t take it with them, and the donkey refused to carry it. He has pride and dignity. He declared he would carry the baby Jesus, but not a profane beer barrel. And when I escaped from the burning castle, everything had to happen so quickly... I put the bowl on my head and quickly packed all the remaining marshmallows from the pantry into this bag. No marshmallows for the 652! I hope we can agree on that!''


    Nods of agreement all round.


    ''Then I quickly packed the first-aid kit. In case anyone gets sick. There was also the box with the laxative in it, so I was packed full and didn''t have a hand free. Yes, that''s how it was. Then I went down to the cellar and tried to save your beer barrel, Zax, I really wanted to! But it was big and heavy and I didn''t have a hand free... and you know how clumsy I am. I never know which buttons to press in the raid and all that. So I''m standing on the ladder by this beer barrel and I want to save it and I don''t have a hand free, and that''s when the first-aid kit fell into your barrel, Zax. So not the whole first-aid kit, just this one box, fortunately. So not the whole box, just the powder without the packaging. That was lucky too, as it has to be disposed of in an eco-friendly way. It really was an accident. And then there was the fire above me and this Thunder gang stormed our castle and I quickly got out via the back stairs.''


    There was silence in the hall.


    Zax pursed his lips.


    ''You dropped a whole carton of laxatives - without packaging of course, what luck for the planet - into my beer barrel, purely by accident and clumsiness of course?


    Lady Evelyne managed to look as innocent as a Madonna.


    ''You know, I just have no skills. I always press the wrong buttons and stuff. Full noob and all that. Things like that can happen.''

 In search of the missing T4

    The toilets in the newly conquered clan castle of the 652 were overflowing. All the Thunder brothers who had somehow managed to reach the lavatory in time refused to leave. The rest had to take to the bushes around the castle. The stench was terrible.


    ''No wonder our town is called either "Stink land" or "Mink stinks",'' grumbled Lipsyte, ''you can still smell it in the furthest corner of the GW map!''


    ''Why do they have so few toilets here?'' complained ThunderFarts.


    ''The ones on the 656 are much fewer than us! And there are even fewer now! That means the next clan castle we conquer from them will have even fewer toilets!''


    ''Shit, in the truest sense of the word!''


    ''They even took the litter tray!'' complained Thunder Cat, ''I mean, at least me or Benexi could have used that!''


    King Mink sat on the elegant private toilet that had originally belonged to Genny, suffering from a terrible stomach ache. If only he hadn''t drunk so much of that beer! The beer must definitely have been bad. Never again would he drink such foreign swill! Only local products!


    After all, Yikesy had brought him rusks and apple porridge. Now he was almost sorry that he had thought she was a traitor. ''Granny!'' he wailed through the closed loo door, ''I still feel sick. What am I supposed to do? I won''t be able to take part in the MD! I can''t leave here!''


    ''Write in the Governor''s Chat that you don''t have time, my boy. You don''t have to say why not.''


    With trembling fingers, Mink tapped on his mobile phone and typed in the message.


    ''Good idea, Grandma, I''ve done it!''


    ''You''ve typed it six times in a row, my boy... but it''s all right. I guess at least no one will miss it now!''


    _______________________________________________________


    Some of the Thunder brothers had fortunately only consumed a little of the beer or had abstained from it altogether. Thunder Boo was one of them, and he was jubilant with happiness. This MD would be his big victory day, he could feel it! The whole of 656 was practically defeated in his eyes. An easy game. He sat down to plan his attack and sent out his troops. He was proud of his extremely strong, invincible T4, and the opponents were, after all, just weak girls in much smaller accounts - so go for it!


    ______________________________________________________


    ''They''re burning our girls!'' shouted Genny indignantly, staring out at the battlefield, ''look at that! The Thunder Boo has already burnt six of our girls!''


    ''Only the ones who didn''t listen and didn''t protect themselves,'' sighed one of the Asian generals, ''we told them, but if they don''t listen...''


    ''That Thunder Boo should be ashamed of himself! With such an account against our girls...'' Genny scolded.


    Frogland had joined them. Without saying much, he threw on a black cloak and pulled the hood low over his face. He immediately melted into the darkness.


    ''Leave him to me,'' he said simply. Then he disappeared out into the night.


    ____________________________________________________


    Thunder Boo giggled with excitement. He had already burnt six of the girls, and he had just discovered the seventh girl. She was sitting almost invisibly behind the others in the blackness of the night. Thunder Boo''s enthusiasm soared to unimagined heights. Chuckling, he sent several full marches T4 straight at the girl. Then he leant back and waited with relish for the impact.


    He waited. And waited. But the night only responded with silence. And in the middle of this dreadful silence came the reports. And his T4, several full marches, a million soldiers in total, was - gone.


    _____________________________________________________


    ''Done,'' was all Frogland said as he came back into the entrance hall and took off his cloak, ''I lent the Thunder Boo one of your cake bowls, Evelyne. He''s now sitting in the hive of 652 with the upturned cake bowl on his head and needs to collect himself, I''m afraid.''


    Smirking, he placed the reports on the table.


    It had suddenly become very quiet on the battlefield outside. No more impacts, no more fire.


    Lady Evelyne smiled. ''Would anyone like a piece of cake?''


    ______________________________________________________


    Thunder Boo couldn''t believe it. Where was his T4? It had just been there. It couldn''t just be gone, could it? Someone had put a cake bowl upside down on his head and sent him home to Grandma with a comforting pat on the back, some bloke in a black cape he didn''t know. Somehow he only perceived everything as if in a fog anyway. His T4... his invincible, expensive, beautiful T4... where was it? He lifted the tablecloth and stared under the table.


    Yikesy came in and frowned at the scene before her. ''What are you looking for under the table, Boo?''


    ''My T4, grandma. It''s gone. A million T4. It can''t be gone, can it? It''s just hiding. Or maybe it''s lost. On the way back. It was so dark.''


    Yikesy laughed out loud. ''I''m afraid it''s gone, my boy. It''s certainly not under the table!''


    Thunder Boo jumped to his feet. '' "It''s not gone," he shouted defiantly, ''it can''t be gone! I''m going to look for it! And I''ll find it!''


    ______________________________________________________


    Once again, King Mink thought he was in the wrong film. He was absent for a single day due to diarrhoea and then nothing but embarrassment and trouble happened!


    ''What happened?'' he asked, growling, ''Why are they laughing so loudly over there at 656? It''s MD, isn''t it? They shouldn''t be laughing, they should be crying!''


    Yikesy rolled his eyes. ''Thunder Boo wanted to burn their girls and badly overestimated himself. One of their generals was sitting incognito in the seventh account. He killed Thunder Boo''s troops, and how!''


    ''Did anyone realise that? I mean, as long as there''s no proof and nobody saw it, it didn''t really happen. Nobody will write it down and publish it, I hope...''


    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ''I''m afraid a lot of people will realise, my boy. Look at the MD''s kill point rankings. Their general is number one.''


    ''One day I''ll burn my own city, I swear!'' roared King Mink, beside himself with rage. ''This can''t be true! What it will cost us in kill trade to eradicate this disgrace and correct the rankings! Nothing but unnecessary costs! I hate it! And now I''m going to finish the guy off!''


    ________________________________________________________


    The Thunder brothers had just disposed of the rest of the beer keg and returned to the entrance hall when an angry King Mink came storming in. ''Where''s Thunder Boo?''


    ''I don''t know, boss! Has something happened?''


    ''Boah, you''re really pissed...''


    ''Did he say something about your face?''


    ''He didn''t say anything about my face,'' Mink raged, ''and you''re not going to say anything either! Where''s the bloke?''


    Everyone shrugged their shoulders and tried to make themselves as invisible as possible. If the boss was angry, it was better not to be noticed by him in the first place.


    Mink realised that nothing more could be achieved here and stormed out of the hall angrily.


    As soon as Mink had disappeared, Thunder Boo crawled out from behind the sofa. ''''It''s not here either,'''' he moaned, ''''where''s my T4?''


    __________________________________________________


    In the clan castle of the 656, Impel stood in the kitchen and slashed violently at a huge piece of meat with her sword. Like everyone else, she wore a kitchen apron over her combat gear and looked magical even in this adventurous outfit. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the physical exertion and her endlessly long hair flowed like a waterfall over both shoulders.


    YoMama, who had just entered the kitchen, managed to duck just in time, otherwise she would have been accidentally decapitated by Impel.


    ''Hey, Impel, watch out, I''m behind you! What are you doing?''


    ''I''m efficient!'' Impel declared proudly, without stopping hacking wildly at the piece of meat with her sword.


    ''Huh?''


    ''Our generals told me to practise with the sword. Lady Evelyne told me to start chopping the meat, because we''re making minced meat with flatbread for everyone today. And Captain Zax said we all urgently need to become more efficient. And now - I''m doing all three things at the same time!''


    YoMum nodded enthusiastically. ''That sounds damn good! Can I join in? I want to be efficient too! Wait, I''ll get my sword!''


    ________________________________________________


    While the 656 practised efficiency in its very own way, the 652 was currently the opposite. King Mink hated it. He constantly had to move accounts from one front to another and from one clan to another. He constantly had to play the saviour himself. As if he would enjoy constantly switching back and forth between RxW and RxD just because his people couldn''t get anything done on their own!


    His tasks were actually different. He was a thinker, and he knew he was brilliant at it. He had thought ahead, when the others hadn''t even really started the game yet. He had started to act when others had only just begun to think. And he had successfully completed his actions when the others had only just realised with difficulty that there was going to be a war here. Those naive idiots! He was often rumoured to be a Pokemon master who was constantly throwing his Pokeball into all the worlds to catch the big players. Mink didn''t quite see it that way. He preferred to see himself in the role of Spiderman, throwing his strings out into the world in a considered and sensible manner - and hitting the target every time. In this way, he had covered the entire GW bracket with a single giant spider''s web in which everyone else was now wriggling. And no matter how much they wriggled, they all knew that he would win in the end.


    Only his own people were a huge nuisance. Like every great leader, Mink had reached a point where his own people annoyed him more than his enemies. Meanwhile, he sometimes had better and more inspiring conversations with his enemies than with his own comrades, who were drunk 99% of the day and embarrassed him everywhere!


    And then there were all these supposed brothers and family members of the Thunder family! The biggest dorks now called themselves that, without asking his permission of course. But a prefix was not enough to develop real quality. Mink recognised the need to distance himself somewhat, especially after the latest events. He carefully unlocked the secret chamber to his account and made the necessary changes. He deleted the name ''Thunder Mink'' and renamed himself ''RxWMink''. He nodded with satisfaction. He liked it much better this way.


    ________________________________________________________


    ''Cluck, cluck, cluck! Come out! Come to daddy!'' Thunder Boo lured his missing T4 downstairs, standing in the empty donkey stable.


    ''It''s not here, bro!'' roared Thunder Dude, exasperated, ''Get it through your head! Your T4 is dead! Live with it or die with it!''


    ''It can''t be dead,'' whined the Thunder Boo, ''I had so much trouble building and training it. It just got lost... it can''t find its way home... it was so dark that night...''


    Thunder Dude rolled his eyes and gave up. There were things that were just pointless. Unfortunately, convincing Thunder Boo that his T4 was actually dead was one of them.


    __________________________________________________________


    In the kitchen of the 656 clan castle, Impel and YoMama simultaneously slashed at the huge mountain of meat with their swords. Captain Zax, who came in, only just managed to dodge.


    ''Watch out, girls! What on earth are you doing here?''


    ''We''re efficient!'' shouted YoMum proudly. ''Just like you wanted!''


    Captain Zax burst out laughing. ''Well, I would have preferred it if you had saved my beer keg instead of being efficient here now, no shit!''


    ''Don''t be sad, Zax,'' Impel comforted him, ''I''ll brew you a new beer as soon as I''m done here. I can make you a super tasty raspberry beer.''


    ''Raspberry beer?'' Captain Zax suddenly felt like he couldn''t breathe.


    ''We can also make you strawberry beer!'' added YoMama helpfully.


    ''Raspberry beer? Strawberry beer? Are you serious?'' Captain Zax snorted through both nostrils like a raging bull in the arena.


    ''Of course I am!'' Impel smiled enchantingly, ''it tastes really good!''


    Captain Zax turned on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen. ''Genny! How can I raid my own faction members?''


    ________________________________________________________


    It was always a very special moment. Always. And King Mink preferred to enjoy it alone. When he thought about it, this moment was one of his main motivations for playing this game. The moment of absolute takeover. The penetration into the heart of the enemy.


    He carefully pressed down the door handle and then slowly and cautiously entered Genny''s former bedroom in the conquered clan castle.


    He had saved this moment until last. And he would spend this night here. Alone. Without annoying faction members. Without endless diplomatic emails and other annoying activities. This night was the night of his personal triumph.


    The bedroom had been left in a hurry, but it was very pretty and feminine. Mink flopped down on the bed in full gear and didn''t bother to take off his boots, knowing that Genny would be horribly upset if she knew. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the silken bed canopy above him and revelled in the complete peace and quiet around him.


    He closed his eyes and felt tiredness slowly setting in. At last.


    Something rustled under the bed. Mink was immediately fully alert. The experience of years of fighting provided the necessary adrenalin and at the same time the all-important cold-bloodedness. With a steady hand, Mink reached for the knife that he always wore under the combat gear on his chest. He simulated a few deep breaths to make the potential assassin believe that he was already fast asleep.


    Then, in a single lightning-fast movement, he rolled down the side of the bed, grabbed it with one hand and with the other had the blade immediately at his victim''s throat, which he now tore out from under the bed with a jerk.


    ''YOU?''


    ''You?''


    The Thunder Boo howled desperately. ''Let go of me, ouch, you''re hurting me!''


    ''Damn it all! Brother, I almost slit your throat! What are you doing under my bed?''


    ''I''m looking for my T4!'' whined Thunder Boo, ''I mean, it''s got to be somewhere! I''ve been looking for it all day, under every bed, behind every wardrobe, all over the castle and everywhere!''


    ''Brother, finally get it, your T4 is dead! Dead as a doornail! It''s not coming back and you won''t find it again, especially not under my bed!''


    ''But that can''t be true! It''s not true. I was much stronger than him. He was only a tiny account against me, and he only had T2, and I had T4, several marches in a row, that''s much better!''


    ''Get it over with, even if it hurts! The other one was better! He was so much better that he only needed T2 to deal with you!''


    ''But it can''t be, they were defeated!''


    ''Well, they sure showed you how it''s done, your defeated ones!''


    ''Can''t I do a bit more searching in here?''


    ''No, damn it! Get out of my room now, brother. Be glad I didn''t actually cut your throat. Get the hell out! I don''t want to know what people will think if they find you in my bedroom.''


    The donkey''s voice from the 656 stable could be heard clearly in the stillness of the night to every corner of the GW bracket.


    ''You - are - gay!!!''

 Letters

    ''My beloved!'' wrote the great philosopher Vind Tr?uble Turf in his tower on 649 to Genny from 656, ''I think of you every day, and my heart races at the thought that we will soon be married. There are people on this map who don''t begrudge us our happiness, but we shouldn''t care about them! And don''t listen to nasty blasphemers, I think you''re the most beautiful girl in the whole world. You don''t have fluttering arms, but a heart big enough to embrace everyone. Forever, your Vind.''


    Then he sealed the letter, tied it to the foot of a dove and sent the bird on its way.


    At the same time, Genny wrote another letter. This one was not sealed, but folded open in the shape of a paper aeroplane. Genny then checked the wind and sent the paper on its way.


    Someone was also waiting in the stable, namely the donkey for Impel, who should have been there long ago with his carrots.


    SGH passed the stable and frowned. ''What are you actually doing here?'' she then asked in irritation, ''aren''t you part of the 652?''


    ''That''s right!'' came a roar from the direction of the 652 clan castle, ''that''s our donkey! He''s in the wrong stable with you! You''re donkey thieves! You stole him from us!''


    ''I didn''t steal anything! I''m surprised myself!'' SGH shouted back.


    ''You''re all gay!'' roared the donkey, ''And that''s why I''m here! Because I''m the only one in this crazy GW who''s straight! And it''s all girls here! You''re almost all men! No wonder you''re all gay! You must be! It''s sheer misery with you!''


    ''More women! We desperately need more women!'' grumbled one of the Thunder brothers at the window of the 652''s clan castle, carefully backing away.


    ''I think it''s nice that you''re here,'' SGH smiled and ran an elegant motion through her long blond hair, ''I like animals! Kitty has a cat, and you''re cute too!''


    The donkey giggled. ''There are more animals on 652, did you know that? Mink is a mink and a dog at the same time. Thunder Cat and Thunder Benexi and Thunder Loki are cats. Candycane has a horse. There are also bears and wolves and a budgie. Oh, and Lipsyte has two squirrels. But I don''t know exactly what he does with them. I don''t think I even want to know. The guy''s gay anyway.''


    ______________________________________________


    Several girls were sitting together in the kitchen of the 656 clan castle, doing what girls like to do when they are among themselves: They were exchanging the latest gossip.


    ''So I don''t know - do you really think the engagement between Genny and Vind will last? It''s a bit like Romeo and Juliet, the two of them come from cities that are actually enemies...''


    ''Well, I think so. Why not? They really love each other! Besides, the cities don''t have to be enemies forever, that can change. And vice versa, too. Did you hear about the war between 649 and 653? They supposedly had an alliance!''


    ''Supposedly, some of the 653 now want to marry into 652!''


    ''No! Really? I thought they hated each other?''


    ''What loves each other, teases each other... oh, and did you hear about the Moorish queen and her Italian lover? Quite a tragic story, I tell you. The Moorish queen had to leave her country and move to a foreign city.''


    ''She''s bound to cry a lot, poor thing!''


    ''Cue it! How is Princess Sara doing? What''s happened to her?''


    ''Genny is always being compared to Princess Sara, but I don''t know... and don''t you think the donkey has a chance with Genny? Ghost is probably trying to get her too... that''s soooo romantic!''


    In the middle of the little gossip session, a loud horn sounded from outside. SGH stuck her head out of the window curiously. There was a smart little sports car outside and a guy in an incredibly bad fancy dress disguise, which was supposed to represent a Japanese man, was sitting in it. There was no mistaking who he really was.


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    ''Oh, hello Marzzzz. How are you?'' SGH greeted the supposed Japanese man in a friendly manner.


    ''I''m not Marzzzz! I''m a Japanese from the [bw8] clan. Look, I cheekily drove right up to your territory. Aren''t you going to attack me? I''m small and can''t defend myself!''


    Marzzz giggled wildly and then tried desperately to hold on to the slipping samurai braid and the plastic sword.


    ''Oh Marzzzz, you''re cute. Look, we''ve known you for so long... we know it''s you.''


    ''I''m not Marzzzz, damn it! Look, now I''m pinging against your garden fence. Come on, you can''t put up with this!''


    ''Iiiiiieeeeeeh!'' all the girls screamed in horror and averted their eyes, ''Put that away, we don''t want to see it!''


    ''You''re gay!'' roared the donkey from the stable, ''Besides, you stink and you''re ugly! Get the fuck out of here!''


    ''I''m not Marzzzz,'' the man addressed shouted desperately, ''I''m a fast driver. Look what a nice little sports car I''ve got!'' And he jumped into the driver''s seat and wiggled his bum. The plastic sword fell off his back for good and the wig slipped over his face.


    ''All right, Marzzzz!'' the girls shouted cheerfully, ''Just come back tomorrow, okay? We''ll give you a piece of cake too. But only if you stop peeing against the fence.''


    ''Isn''t anyone going to attack me?'' whined Marzzzz, ''You''re really mean, you know that? I''ll report this to the R5 of [bw8]! He''ll come and have another sit-down strike in your hive until you attack me!''


    He jumped back into the driver''s seat angrily and sped off in his little sports car. The fallen plastic sword remained on the garden fence.


    _____________________________________________


    In the clan castle of the 652, Yikesy had had time to mix a cake batter for the first time. A friend had left her the recipe. Yikesy greatly appreciated this profitable exchange. Now she opened the oven for the first time and was astonished. There was a pink letter in the middle of the baking tray. ''For Elsa'' was written on it in beautifully curved handwriting.


    Yikesy thought about it. No one had ever used the oven before. It was completely illusory that any of the Thunder blokes would even think of making themselves useful in the household in any way. Consequently, nobody had opened the oven since the conquest of the castle. So the letter must have been written by someone from the 656 and left here on purpose. Whoever had left this letter here had therefore been sure that it would be found by the right person - someone trustworthy enough to hand it over reliably.


    Yikesy took the letter and tucked it under her blouse. She would give it to Elsa the next time she saw her.


    ____________________________________________


    Impel couldn''t believe it. With the bottle in her hand, she ran into the kitchen of the clan castle.


    ''Look at that! Here we go again! Another message in a bottle! The river has washed it up!''


    ''Haven''t we had this before?'' asked Genny in amazement, ''and isn''t this the same bottle anyway?''


    ''It looks exactly the same!'' muttered Impel, pulling the note out of the bottle. Then her eyes filled with tears. ''Look - there are already two of them! I''m telling you, we should have helped him back then! Now there are already two victims, and that''s only because you refused to free the first one!''


    She stormed out of the kitchen in tears because she wasn''t allowed to help.


    Genny took the note from the table and read it: ''HELP! Yikesy is bullying me. Thunder Dude.'' And underneath, someone had added: ''Me too. Thunder Mink.''


    Genny smiled. Sometimes, you wouldn''t think it possible, there was such a thing as higher justice. She took a knife from the kitchen shelf and rammed the note with the knife into the wall next to the cooker.


    _____________________________________________


    Lady Evelyne sat at the table in the hall and dealt with the post. As usual, she had pre-sorted everything into several large piles and was now busily answering everything.


    Genny, who entered the hall, looked curiously at the piles of letters. ''Is it all poaching again?''


    ''No, this time it''s fan mail! From the readers. Some want me to give them a role in my novel. Others don''t want me to give them a role in my novel. This pile is from those who want me to stop giving them roles in every chapter immediately or they''ll attack me. They want a cease and desist letter because they don''t think I have permission to just turn them into literary characters because they never willingly gave their consent to do so. Oh, and two players want to kill me. At least they''re announcing it.''


    ''And the last batch?''


    ''Oh, it''s from the 652. It''s thank-you letters from people who actually wanted to stop playing the game because they found it boring and stupid. They write to tell me that thanks to me and the daily chapters, they''re enjoying the game again and will continue.''


    Genny put her hands on her hips and shouted: ''Tell me, could it be that you''re actually playing for the enemy? There''s no such thing! Nobody stops playing over there because of you? I can''t believe it!''


    The lady sighed. ''You know, some things can''t be prevented. In that sense, it''s just collateral damage. You have to go through it.''


    _____________________________________________


    Kodaxx sat in his room in the tower of the clan castle and read. He loved reading, and the fleeing Clan 656 had kindly left him a whole bookshelf full of really good literature. The window was wide open, the sun was shining in and the first winds of spring had sprung up. For once, it didn''t stink, but smelled of freshly blossoming life. Kodaxx had just taken a new book from the shelf when something suddenly flew in through the window. At first he thought it was a stray bird, but then he realised that it was a paper aeroplane.


    Surprised, he unfolded the paper.


    ''Thank you for what you did for Little Miss,'' it said simply.


    Kodaxx smiled softly and put the letter in his breast pocket.


    The sun painted golden circles on the ground.

 Flight of the bumblebee

    In the 1930s, a German physicist discovered that it was physically impossible for a bumblebee to fly. The bumblebee is too fat for the surface area of its wings. According to the laws of aerodynamics, it should not be able to fly. But the bumblebee doesn''t know this and simply flies anyway.


    It was a similar story on the GW map when the government building owned by the 652 went into combat status. Everyone on the map understood that you can''t win against the 652. But one member of the 656 didn''t know this and simply captured the building anyway.


    And immediately, a frenzy broke out in both cities.


    Mink called his troops together, cursing. Nothing but trouble! Again he had to transfer several T4 accounts from RxW to RxD, again he himself was forced to change clans, and then march to a front that should actually be much easier! Why were these ignorant fellow 656 players behaving like bumblebees? And the worst thing was - they also had fun doing it!


    Kodaxx proved his usefulness by turning Genny and Ghost into Kingpins. After all. But they weren''t at all bothered by this, and so the fight swung back and forth.


    Thunder Boo had also rejoined the fighters and tried his luck. The first blow he had to take was enough for him, however, and from then on he only attacked towers. At least they weren''t quite as unfair as the evil 656 players who kept making his T4s disappear! Somehow they seemed to have something against him personally. But what was it?


    A disguise was needed so that they could no longer identify him immediately. Thunder Boo thought hard. Then suddenly he had a great idea. The boss had renamed himself! He could do just that. A new name was the solution. Giggling, he renamed himself from ''Thunder Boo'' to ''Boo Thunder''. Brilliant! Now nobody would recognise him.


    Genny had scheduled the last raid for a time that was the middle of the night for half the world. The members groaned. Some signed up for the next day shift and went to bed. Some decided to just pull an all-nighter. And some set their alarm clocks. After all, honour and their city were at stake here. That sometimes required sacrifices.


    ________________________________________


    The alarm clocks rang reliably in the middle of the night. And jumping out of bed with everyone else was the beautiful Impel, for she too had set her alarm clock. Genny and Captain Zaxpool''s eyes almost popped out of their heads when Impel joined the fighting troops, her hair flowing, her robe billowing and her sword in her hand.


    ''Impel! What are you doing here? Be careful with that sword!''


    ''I''m efficient!'' Impel declared, twirling the sword through the air, which she did not even do badly. ''I''ve decided that I''m in tonight!''


    Genny and Captain Zaxpool exchanged a quick glance.


    ''Don''t think I didn''t see that,'' Impel protested, ''but that''s over. I''m not accidentally decapitating anyone here anymore. I''ve been practising. And I can fill a raid. Let''s go out and kick their arse!''


    ______________________________________________


    The 652 was drenched in sweat and whimpering for sleep. Yes, they had got this damn building in the end. But with what effort! And for two hours those lunatics had fought for it and kept everyone awake! Two hours!


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    They really were bumblebees who weren''t prepared to abide by any laws of nature.


    They should be killed, all together.


    They shuffled angrily to bed on the 652.


    _______________________________________________


    Sunday morning on the 656 started early.


    Lady Evelyne hadn''t had her coffee yet, but had already tied on her apron to make it when she reported to the office to start work. ''The early shift from Central Europe has started,'' she greeted Pieston, who was sitting at his desk going through last night''s reports. ''Who''s on the shift with me?''


    ''Me and Ace today. And you missed the best part last night. Two hours of fighting for the government building! And our Impel in the middle of it! She even set her alarm clock to join the fight!''


    Lady Evelyne smiled. Impel was really outdoing herself. The beautiful medieval angel with the sword in her hand was going to be devilishly good if this continued.


    She grabbed the binoculars, looked out onto the battlefield, and spotted something disturbing. Impel hadn''t teleported back to the hive after the battle for some reason. She was still standing next to the government building, in safe clan territory but still in close proximity to the enemy. And she didn''t have a bubble.


    ''What''s going on?'' muttered Lady Evelyne, ''look - did you see that?''


    Pieston looked thoughtful. ''Genny texted her to teleport back or take a bubble, but there was no reply. The last thing Impel said was that she had to sleep now because tomorrow was Sunday and she had to lead children''s church...''


    ''Damn it!'' cursed Lady Evelyne, ''she''s asleep and she''s not protected! This is going to end badly, I can feel it. Four of those blokes are sitting right next to her!''


    And as if she had predicted it, the next moment one of the 652 players set fire to the tower protecting the clan area around Impel.


    Impel! Sweet, helpful Impel was in grave danger!


    _______________________________________________


    Lady Evelyne ran. She hadn''t taken the time to change her clothes or even put the coffee on. As she ran out, she had shouted to the secretary in charge at the town hall that she needed the police badge, and off she went: running through the desert, the police badge pinned to her kitchen apron, a cake bowl under her arm. When she arrived at Impel, she rammed the cake bowl onto the sleeping girl''s head, then tenderly stroked a few strands of hair out of her face, threw a dirty look at the four guys behind the fence who hadn''t noticed her, and then hurried back. Now! At last! Coffee! Breakfast!


    _______________________________________________


    ''Hurry up, sister,'' Ace urged, ''we have to raid the tower. Don''t worry, they''ll run like rabbits. The ones online right now aren''t strong fighters. I know the type.''


    ''I haven''t even had coffee yet,'' moaned Lady Evelyne, ''it''s Sunday morning at a time when no one is awake but us. No breakfast! And not even lipstick on yet! I look dreadful!''


    ''Never mind sis, it has to be quick now. You''re doing the raid lead.''


    ''Why me again?''


    ''Because you have the biggest account of anyone online. And if you''re not quick enough, they''ll be gone anyway. They''re running, I promise you. 800k T3 in the tower, but don''t think we''re going to kill anything there.''


    Lady Evelyne rounded up two more people for the raid, the squad got ready to teleport, and then - Ace was the first to teleport next to the burning clan tower.


    And that was enough. In a mad rush, the four defenders pulled their troops out of the tower and ran.


    ''Hey!'' shouted Lady Evelyne desperately, waving her arms wildly, ''come back! You can''t do that! We were just going to raid you!''


    ''We won''t fight you! Not on principle! Not if none of our T4 accounts are there to back us up!''


    ''Damn it!'' the lady cursed under her breath.


    Ace giggled. ''I told you so, sis. You weren''t quick enough!''


    Lady Evelyne sighed deeply. To add to her misery, now a scolding from Ace, as usual.


    ''Well then. I say we rebuild the tower. There''s nothing else we can do now anyway.''


    _____________________________________________


    At the very top of the tower of the 652''s clan castle, someone put down the telephoto lens. Normally he was a sniper and knew how to hit. Today, however, he had shot something else. A photo, or rather a whole series of photos.


    He smiled. It was time to finally counter the worst war propaganda of all time.

 Its getting serious!

    ''You''re embarrassing!''


    ''We know!''


    ''We can''t stand you!''


    ''We don''t stand you either!


    ''And you especially have no skills!


    ''That''s right!''


    The 656 and the 652 once again exchanged pleasantries through their respective windows, the southern one on the 652 and the western one on the 656.


    ''Hey!'' suddenly there was an angry roar from a completely different direction, namely from the north.


    ''Could you please shut the fuck up? There are people here who are really trying to concentrate on the game itself!''


    ''Who''s that?'' asked Genny in amazement.


    ''That''s the 655! Oh, how pretty! They can talk! That''s Lil Arrow!''


    Lady Evelyne tore open the north window and yelled back, ''Yoo-hoo, 655! How are you? Fancy telling a few inside jokes and swapping funny anecdotes with us?''


    ''Do you think we''re just having fun here all day, just fooling around like you and making embarrassing jokes?'' came Lil Arrow''s indignant reply.


    ''Er, yes, actually. Why are you here if you''re not having fun?''


    ''We don''t really know ourselves! But the game is serious business! We''re all serious players in our faction and we''re not here for fun!''


    ''Ohhhhhh!'' Genny mumbled with wide eyes. ''He''s very salty. I''m afraid it''s my fault. I was quite mean to him.'' She giggled.


    ''So I''m assuming that''s a ''no''? You''re not going to tell us anything funny?'' shouted Lady Evelyne in the direction of the north.


    ''No!'' came back angrily, ''You''re all embarrassing! What you''re doing should be banned in the rules. No politics, no religion, no hate speech. And no attacks on the seriousness of this game. I will submit this rule change amendment through Line immediately!''


    In the north, the window was slammed shut with a clang.


    Genny stared at Lady Evelyne in amazement. ''What are they playing?''


    ''I think they''re playing ''Whoever laughs first loses''. We''re finished, Genny. We''re not going to win this. This event goes to the 655. Even they''re better than us now! Best we send them our unconditional surrender right away.''


    __________________________________________________


    Thunder Boo almost despaired. They had caught him again! The trick with the new nickname ''Boo Thunder'' hadn''t worked. Somehow, he didn''t know exactly why, they had recognised him anyway. The next name change had to come. ''Giest Boo Thunder'' - that was a good name! It would guarantee that they would no longer recognise him, those sneaky bumblebees with their honeypot accounts!


    While he was still renaming himself, his mobile phone buzzed. Someone had sent him a photo. He opened it curiously, saw it and immediately burst out laughing. Lady Evelyne running in the desert, in combat gear and a kitchen apron, with a cake bowl under her arm! It looked incredibly embarrassing. Whoever took these funny photos of the 656 girls! Unfortunately, no one seemed to have managed to take a photo in their bathroom window when they were showering, but in the meantime some funny pictures of them had gone viral and been discussed intensively in faction chat. Thunder Boo giggled as he saved the picture and used it as the background for his phone screen.


    __________________________________________________


    In the clan castle of the 652, the Dude put down the binoculars.


    ''I''m seriously wondering why they''re wearing kitchen aprons over their combat gear over there,'' he said thoughtfully, ''does it have any special meaning?''


    ''I don''t know,'' puzzled mamakoko, ''maybe it''s a special item?''


    ''But I''ve never seen it before. At which event do you get it?''


    Thunder Benexi looked at the Dude suspiciously from the side: ''Do you want to get a kitchen apron too?''


    ''Why not? It seems to offer some kind of advantage, otherwise they wouldn''t wear them all the time. And somehow they do cause us quite a bit of trouble when they do move. And haven''t you noticed how insanely important it was for the lady to save all her aprons from the castle? She nearly burnt herself in the process. You don''t do that unless these items are ultra valuable. And she even wore a kitchen apron over her combat gear in the desert when she rescued that girl and teleported next to RxD''s accounts. A kitchen apron with the police badge from the town hall on it. Our four RxD accounts then fled without a fight. This isn''t happening over nothing!''


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    Thunder Benexi snapped his fingers: ''I''ve got it, buffs! They offer special buffs!''


    ''If they offer special buffs, I want them!'' it screeched from under the kitchen table, and Thunder Boo crawled out. ''Probably higher unit HP or crew ATK or something. I want a kitchen apron immediately! Then my T4 will survive in the future!''


    The Dude frowned and looked through his binoculars again. ''They''re all ironed. On edge.''


    ''Probably gives you even more percentage points for the buff.''


    ''I want an ironed kitchen apron immediately!''


    _____________________________________________


    ''Couldn''t you just shut up?'' howled the 655, ''we want to concentrate on the game and you''re ruining everything, you damn intermission clowns!


    ''No!'' it roared back in chorus from the direction of 652 and 656.


    _____________________________________________


    The crowd gathered in the kitchen. Angry Thunder brothers tried to push their way through to Yikesy, who was sitting at the kitchen table filling the shopping basket for an online order.


    ''I want a kitchen apron too!''


    ''I want two!''


    ''I''ll order three!


    ''How many fragments do you need for one? And is that phase 1? How many do you need for phase 2?''


    ''Can you level them up with stars?''


    ''I want four kitchen aprons! But who irons them?''


    ''Yikesy maybe?''


    ''Dream on!''


    ''I''ll take them all!'' shouted Kodaxx from the very back, trying to push his way through, ''I bought all the luxury cars too! And all the babes! I want all the kitchen aprons there are!''


    ''Egoist!'' complained Thunder Yuber, ''Let the others have some too! I want a kitchen apron too!''


    ''Cry!''


    ''They come with frills and without frills,'' Yikesy chimed in from the kitchen table, not to be put off.


    ''I want them with frills AND without frills!'' Kodaxx placed his order.


    ''They come in pink and white.''


    ''I want them in pink AND white. Everything there is for me!''


    ''Not just for you!'' the Thunder Boo cried desperately, ''I want one with frills too, Yikesy! It''s certainly better for the statistics with frills. And is pink or white better for the T4?''


    ''Have you taken leave of your senses?'' suddenly shouted Mink, who had entered the kitchen unnoticed by everyone, ''What are you doing?''


    ''We''re ordering kitchen aprons! For higher unit HP on the combat gear!'' shouted Thunder Boo, "When they''re ironed, there''ll be a few more percentage points of buff!''


    ''Who put that flea in your ear? That''s a rumour at best! I''ve never heard of kitchen aprons increasing combat strength!''


    ''Then why do they always wear kitchen aprons over their combat gear on the 656, hey?''


    ''Maybe because they cook? Ever thought about that?''


    ''No, it''s a special buff! Higher unit HP and crew ATK, one hundred per cent!''


    Mink tried to push his way through to Yikesy.


    ''Guys, be reasonable now! Don''t fall for such a stupid rumour! Besides, it doesn''t make any sense, what''s the point of everyone ordering three kitchen aprons? Do you all want to wear them on top of each other at the same time? That looks stupid!''


    Kodaxx raises his arms angrily to his sides: ''Yeah, right, brother! After all, you wear three builders'' helmets on top of each other in the architect''s set, don''t you? And three wristwatches on the Kingset! That also looks stupid, but it increases efficiency enormously!'' He turned to Yikesy: ''Every type of kitchen apron there is, for me! Four of each! Money doesn''t matter!''


    ''Nooooooo!'' howled Mink in despair.


    ''You just can''t stand the fact that I''m bigger than you! That''s why you won''t let me have a kitchen apron! You''re probably secretly wearing one yourself, in your bedroom or somewhere, where nobody can see it! Cry!''


    ''I was just...''


    ''If you''re going to keep slowing me down, I''m going back to 649! Sir Gorilla will give me a kitchen apron if that''s what I want! That''s for sure!''


    ''Sir Gorilla will punch you in the face if you turn up there again, I swear...''


    ''Cry!''


    The Thunder Dude put the binoculars aside, brooding.


    ''I wonder...'' he began the sentence, but then broke off.


    ''Yeah, what?'' asked Mink, who had given up trying to push his way through to Yikesy and delete the shopping basket for the online order. There was no chance. His people were out of their minds.


    ''I don''t know if I can say this...''


    ''Damn it, brother! Talk now or I''ll kick you out of here!''


    Silence fell in the kitchen.


    Thunder Dude raised his eyebrows mockingly. Then he pointed his thumb in the direction of the 656.


    ''They don''t just wear kitchen aprons over their combat fatigues. They also wear high heels.''


    Now there was no stopping him.


    With the force of a tsunami, all the Thunder brothers leapt towards Yikesy at the same time. The kitchen table fell over with a crash and Yikesy was buried under it, while all the boys jumped on top of each other like they were playing football, forming a huge pile as they shouted their orders.


    ''I - WANT - ALSO - HIGH - HEELS!'' screeched the Thunder Boo, ''For my T4!''


    So Kodaxx jumped to the top of the pile. ''And I''ll take them all! All colours, all heel heights! All fragments, all phases! With all the level-up stars!''


    ______________________________________________________


    ''What are they doing? They order kitchen aprons and high heels?'' Genny was stunned.


    ''Looks like it, yes,'' Lady Evelyne said with amusement, ''our style is trending. We''ve become trendsetters in this world.''


    ''But why???''


    ''They think it''s a special item with extra buffs. Somehow it seems to be a group dynamic process here. If one person here has something, everyone wants it. But don''t ask me why it''s our kitchen aprons and high heels of all things. But it''s no more stupid than any other item. Just look at all the stupid stuff that gives the babes extra buffs.'' Lady Evelyne leant forwards and handed Genny a letter. ''By the way, we''ve received a written complaint against us from 655. Violation of the seriousness of the game.''


    ''They''re taking this very seriously, aren''t they?''


    ''Yes, and they want to ban me from mentioning them in the legends.''


    ''Huh? Are they serious about that too?''


    ''And how. I explained to them that this is a war game. You can''t choose what the other person does to you. He just do it. That''s the way it is.''


    ''They''re losing this one.''


    ''I wouldn''t even say that. They''ve already won this unofficial ''whoever laughs first loses'' event.''


    ''Also true again. And if they really manage to stay serious when the 652 arrive in the endgame with their Godfather sets in Grand, with kitchen aprons on top and high heels on feet - then the 655 with Lil Arrow in the lead really should be declared the winner of GW1.''

 Silence!

    The visitor came in the dark. He crept up to the 656 clan castle from behind, was let in through a small gate and disappeared into a small chamber. Nobody saw or heard who was waiting for him there and what was being discussed.


    And so it came as a bombshell when, shortly after the publication of the embarrassing photos of the former harem ladies of the 656, a video went viral showing Yikesy ironing Mink''s face in great detail.


    It was almost impossible to keep calm on the 656, and the 649 also had a royal laugh.


    The laughter went round the world, even Princess Sara''s mobile phone on the 625 couldn''t stop ringing.


    She almost regretted not staying in the bracket - it seemed to be fun there now! - But then she was glad to have some peace and quiet after two more world changes.


    _______________________________________________


    Another person, Lil Arrow from 655, also wanted peace and quiet. His level of annoyance had now reached unimaginable heights. Support had answered his request to include offences against the seriousness of the game in the terms and conditions and to punish them strictly with a wait-and-see approach. They wanted to check the case first. Check! As if there was anything to check! Lil Arrow adjusted his golden cape and made sure that the fabric fell correctly. The situation was clear to him, and he very much hoped that the support would come to the same judgement.


    He was just about to concentrate seriously on the game again when the shouting started again outside.


    ''Whoo-hoo, 655!''


    ''Jesus Christ, what is it!'' Lil Arrow cursed and went to the window. ''I''m not interested in silliness! I''ve already said that!''


    ''Are you sure you don''t want to join in? You''ll get a nice part in the book too! A better one than now!''


    ''I don''t want a part in the book at all! I forbid you to write anything about me! I''m a serious player!''


    ''Okay!'' came the cheerful reply, ''then have fun in the game!''


    ''I''m not having fun in the game!'' Lil Arrow howled angrily, ''How many times do I have to say that! I''ve already written it in the governor''s chat! I''m not having any fun here! Leave me the fuck alone!''


    Angrily, he slammed the window shut.


    ___________________________________________________


    The horn honked in front of the 656 clan castle.


    In the small sports car parked in front of the fence was the same old acquaintance as last time, only this time he was disguised as a Chinese man. However, the disguise was just as bad as the first attempt to imitate a Japanese.


    ''Hello Marzzzz!'' SGH01 greeted friendly out of the window, ''nice to see you again!''


    ''I''m not Marzzzz! I''m a very weak little account parking in the no-parking zone outside your house. Come out and beat me up!''


    ''All right, Marzzzz. Nice of you to pop in again. How are you doing? And how are your Thunder brothers, are they all safe at home?''


    ''I don''t know any Thunder brothers! I''m in the Japanese clan whose R5 you keep locked up in the town hall dungeon. I''d like to take you for a joyride! If you get in, I''ll drive you to my house in a flash, because I''m a fast driver, muhahahaha! And then I''ll lock you up and won''t let you leave, muhahahaha!''


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    ''Sorry Marzzzz, we''ve been told we can''t get in the car with strange men!''


    ''I''m not Marzzzz dammit! And hey, I''ve got the whole car full of sweets! All you have to do is get in and you''ll get them all! And I''ve got more sweets for you at home!''


    ''Ohhhh, sweets!'' sighed Genny, ''I think I need to get out of there... if anyone has sweets, I''d get in right now!''


    ''Stay here!'' shouted Bloody Barrons, just managing to catch hold of Genny, ''that''s Marzzzz, sweetie. He has very special sweets. Believe me, you don''t like them!''


    ''Are you sure nobody wants to come along? Not even your underbosses? Look, we could do it this way, you get my underboss first, and then I get yours, muhahahaha!''


    ''Bad swap, Marzzzz! And when you leave, could you please take your plastic sword from last time with you? It''s bad for the planet, you know, throwing everything outside our fence...''


    The fast driver sped off angrily in his little sports car. One day, he swore to himself, he would get them all! One way or another!


    ______________________________________________


    ''What on earth are they doing there?'' Kitty asked in amazement and put down her binoculars. ''Look, the 652... they''re practising... walking? On high heels? And two of the Thunder guys are dancing together? Or holding on to each other? Oops - now they''ve fallen over!''


    Several girls pushed their way to the window. ''Let me see!'' ''Give me the binoculars!'' ''I want to see something too!''


    Lady Evelyne tore open the window. ''Woo-hoo, 652! What are you doing?''


    ''None of your business!'' came the prompt reply.


    ''Why are you all wearing high heels and practising walking?''


    ''You''d like to know! Our skills and boosts remain our secret!'' the Dude yelled back.


    ''All right! And that''s coming from someone who chooses his enforcers based on their looks!''


    ''I''m still better than you! You have no skills!''


    ''At least we can walk in high heels and you can''t!''


    ''SILENCE!'' came the agonised roar from the direction of the 655, ''shut the fuck up! I''m trying to concentrate on the game!''


    ''But we''re not!'' 656 and 652 shouted back in chorus.


    ''You know what?'' Lil Arrow howled angrily out of the window, ''Just marry each other! If you shout at each other that much, you might as well get married. You''re also a great match with your penchant for embarrassing silliness, and 656 is all girls and 652 is all boys, so it''s a good match! Why don''t you just get married?''


    ''Because they''re all gay!'' roared the donkey from the stable, ''That''s why!''


    ''Cry!'' Kodaxx shouted back and slammed the window shut.


    _______________________________________


    When the visitor came for the second time, he was discovered by the attentive SGH01 as he left the clan castle. Lady Evelyne quickly tried to close the gate, but SGH curiously stuck her head outside and tried to catch a glimpse of the stranger hurrying away.


    ''Who have you met up with? Is that - wasn''t that Aglid? From KqN?''


    Lady Evelyne remained silent and pulled SGH back into the kitchen. ''Maybe, dear friend, maybe not. Let''s put it this way, he''s a friend.''


    ''Well, I''m pretty sure it was Aglid.'' SGH wasn''t fazed.


    ''Maybe that''s what he calls himself. But who knows for sure who he really is... well, it''s not important. Let''s change the subject.'' Lady Evelyne smiled. ''Tell me, have you seen Genny tonight? I''m kind of worried about her. She seems to have disappeared. The last time she was there was when Marzzzz tried to persuade us to go on that joyride...''


    ''Do you mean she got in?'' asked SGH, startled, ''and he kidnapped her?''


    ''No, she didn''t... I''m sure she didn''t fall for him. But something''s not right. My gut instinct is kicking in. I don''t like it.''


    SGH took a slice of cake and said, ''Maybe it has something to do with the battles to come. Or that we''re losing this thing. Maybe you have a bad premonition about that?''


    ''Hm, no. I''ve already got used to it. This is just a game for rich people... at some point you have to accept that. As a normal player, you can choose whether you''re courtier or cannon fodder for the rich blokes. Either you carry the train, or you are the victim who is hunted down and zeroed. At least you have two choices! But that''s it. Alternatively, find a niche and stay in it.''


    SGH grumbled. ''To be honest, I don''t fancy either role. But I''m even less keen to put all my money into it. Vind says he''s sure most of the blokes on the 652 are deep in debt.''


    Lady Evelyne giggled. ''Well, it was still enough for a bulk order of high heels and kitchen aprons! High heels in large sizes are now sold out, by the way. Zax wanted to order new pink boots for the donkey and got absolutely nothing.''


    ''Zax can stick his pink boots where the sun never shines!'' protested the donkey from the stable, ''I''m not as gay as you are! Besides, I''m going to quit anyway! Fuck you all!''


    ''Quiet!'' it roared from the direction of the 655, ''it''s 2:00 am! There are players here trying to sleep!''


    SGH giggled. ''Very cool. How nice of him to let us know. Let''s go, guys. Let''s light their towers on fire! Burn them all!''


    ''Those are our lyrics!'' immediately followed an indignant shout from the 652, ''stop stealing our lyrics right now!''


    Lil Arrow on the 655 gave up. Furious, he stuffed a lot of cotton wool into his ears to finally find some peace. Tomorrow he would write the next letter to the support team! First thing tomorrow!

 Obesity Boost

    ''What do you mean high heels are sold out in big sizes?'' Marzzzz stared at his friend Thunder Dude in horror.


    ''That means there are no more in our size, bro. 42 EU is sold out. And the market is also empty in even larger sizes. Replenishment in two months at the earliest.''


    ''GW1 is long gone by then!'' moaned Marzzzz, ''Kodaxx has bought up everything, the scumbag! Another huge parcel was delivered for him yesterday! Kitchen aprons in pink with frills are also sold out! Can''t we put the guy in a parcel himself and send him back to Sir Gorilla? Preferably without postage, the recipient pays the fee?''


    ''Sir Gorilla won''t take it off our hands. He''s probably glad to be rid of him! Damn, brother. At best we can order the high heels one size smaller. 41 EU is still available. Should we do that?''


    Marzzzz pondered. One size smaller? Well, maybe they were lucky and the shoes were bigger. He held out his hand, clicked on ''Order basket'' and just hoped for the best.


    ___________________________________________


    In the entrance hall of the 656 clan castle, everyone was sitting down to an early breakfast and discussing what to do next. Genny seemed to have spent last night away from home, which worried everyone. It was also unclear how to proceed with the RxD front. In the middle of the lively discussions, a sudden noise could be heard from outside. A car drove up and at the same time there was a rattling of metal.


    ''Is that Marzzzz again?'' SGH shouted in amazement and ran to the window. There was indeed a car outside, but not the small sports car, but a larger jeep pulling a whole cascade of empty tin cans behind it. At the same moment, the door burst open and Genny came in with Ghost, giggling loudly and beaming with happiness. A sign was clearly visible on the car: ''Just married''. And around Genny''s neck was a clearly visible sign: ''oAo Cheerleader''.


    The members in the hall dropped their cake forks from their hands and their jaws dropped from their faces.


    ''Yay!'' shouted Genny happily, ''We''re back! We''ve done it! A two-minute wedding ceremony in Las Vegas tonight, an Elvis impersonator married us! I love Ghost!''


    ''Nooooooooooo!'' howled it from the distant clan castle of the 649, and a forlorn philosopher thought about throwing himself off the castle tower, ''Genny, my Genny, my beloved, what have you done!''


    ''Why didn''t you tell us?'' complained Bloody Barrons, ''I would have loved to scatter flowers at your wedding!''


    ''Yeah, why weren''t we invited?'' the other girls grumbled, ''we could have been bridesmaids and thrown rice!''


    Ghost just grinned. Without another word, the two of them disappeared into Genny''s bedroom and locked the door behind them.


    ''Uhhhhh...'' mumbled SGH.


    ''I need a beer. I need a beer really quickly. Or is there still some vodka left from the angry Russian? It doesn''t matter what. Just quickly,'' whispered Captain Zax.


    Impel smiled from the bottom of her heart: ''We have a father again! Genny got us a new alpha male! Everything will be fine now! I''m so happy!''


    And she disappeared out of the hall, to peer at the closed door to Genny''s bedroom.


    Lady Evelyne quietly and discreetly cleared away the crockery.


    __________________________________________________


    While some were offended because no one had invited them to the wedding of the century, others were offended because they had to realise that their fellow players, who they had thought were their friends, were simply insolent egoists.


    The high heels for Marzzzz and the Thunder Dude had been delivered, and of course they weren''t bigger. Rather smaller. With great difficulty, the two of them had squeezed their feet into the far too small shoes and were now holding on to each other, moaning, unable to take a single step.


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    Mink entered the room and looked at the scene, shaking his head. ''''Guys, how many times do I have to tell you, cut the crap and put on your combat boots! Don''t let yourselves be taken for fools by these silly rumours!''


    ''That''s what I''m talking about!'' roared the 655, ''we should team up, Mink! We seem to be the only ones here who really take the game seriously! Are you interested in an alliance?''


    ''Dream on,'' Mink muttered, then turned to his two comrades-in-arms and urged, ''Hurry up. There''s trouble on the 656 front. RxD can''t cope on his own, you''ll have to switch clans and help out.''


    ''Again?'' grumbled the Dude, ''can they do anything without us?''


    Mink rolled his eyes. ''Bro, we''re a family, so don''t rant. Josi can''t cope on her own, I''ve already sent Kodaxx over, he can''t cope either, I sent Boo after him, he can''t cope either, so now you two. Let''s go.''


    The Dude''s eyes widened. ''What''s going on, bro?''


    ''Genny''s newlywed husband. A secret flash wedding in Las Vegas last night, rumour has it. Nobody knew about it. The guy''s doing the Raid... and he''s got skills. He''s not a raid leader, he''s a raid master, at least that''s what the lady calls him internally. Bad for us. So speed up and off to the front with you.''


    __________________________________________________


    Speed was a key word that didn''t apply to the 652 at the moment. They had become accustomed to winning, and that had made everyone a little fat and lazy.


    Kodaxx rushed across the battlefield as fast as he could, but he could clearly feel that he was out of practice. The new combat gear didn''t make it any easier: he was wearing sixteen kitchen aprons on top of each other, which made for an enormous girth and increased his weight considerably, especially the forward slouch. The high heels on his feet forced him to balance his body weight, and so he swayed across the battlefield more than he walked. As he could only wear one pair of high heels out of the 500 pairs he had ordered, he had packed the rest onto trailers and attached them to the back of his luxury cars, 15 of which were currently travelling behind him. He hoped that this would at least give him a passive boost. Unfortunately, he could no longer fit into any of his luxury cars and had to walk. He puffed like a walrus at the effort and struggled to make it to the embattled building in time.


    __________________________________________


    Marzzzz and the Dude fared even worse. Supporting each other, they hobbled across the battlefield and moaned to each other about the horrible shoes, which they hoped really boosted the crew''s ATK. They cast bitter glances at the rotund Kodaxx, who was clearly ahead of them.


    ''Look at him, brother, that fat bloke. He''s bought up the whole market! We should kick and burn him sometime!'' cursed Marzzzz.


    ''My turn, brother,'' Thunder gasped, trying to keep his balance and move forward at the same time, ''I''m right on his heels. Soon I''ll be as big as him, and then we''ll see.''


    Staggering and swearing, they tried to catch up with the fighting force.


    _____________________________________________


    On the grey battlefield, Kodaxx had finally managed to conquer the building with the help of other hastily relocated T4 accounts, and dropped onto a huge pile of pillows in the middle, panting, while his luxury cars pulled up and the shoeboxes of high heels were unloaded.


    ''Damn,'' Shqiperi cursed, ''what''s that guy got in that building? Lots of bikes - is that a biker wedge? - lots of knives and guns and then - 500 pairs of high heels?''


    ''I''m just experimenting a bit!'' shouted Kodaxx cheerfully.


    ''Experiment with cars!'' SanAndreas25 shouted back, ''I can recommend T1 cars! They''re incredibly powerful!''


    ''We can''t get him out of there,'' grumbled SGH, ''the guy''s just too fat! We''d have to roll him out! Three raids and he''s still in there!''


    ''Yeah, and the sheer mass of shoes we''d all have to carry out! They''ve built a wall of shoeboxes, almost impossible to break through!'' Chitadrita was annoyed, ''We''d have to form a chain to manage it.''


    Kodaxx lolled like an oversized Buddha on his pillow mountain: ''Cry!''


    One of the Asian generals of the 656 pushed the reports aside and smiled. ''Just better stats, that''s all. Very, very close. It''s getting exciting again.''


    ''Can I go to sleep now, please?'' came from Kodaxx in the building, ''You''ve kept me awake for ages again. You really should take more pity on me. I always have to come here and save everything, it''s unfair!''


    ''What''s unfair is that you''ve bought up all the kitchen aprons,'' whimpered Thunder Boo, who had already changed his name for the fourth time, ''and that you''re so huge and fat that there''s nothing left for anyone else!''


    ''Cry!''


    _________________________________________________________


    The battle was long over and the building had entered safe status when Marzzzz and the Dude finally arrived on the battlefield. They felt like their feet had been boiling in hot water for hours. How did the girls of 656 manage to walk and even run in such high heels?


    ''Brother, this all needs to change,'' growled Marzzzz, ''we need some urgent changes. The 656 has made some serious headway now, so we can''t stop.''


    ''I have to stop now,'' gasped the Dude, ''otherwise my feet will fall off. I swear they''ll fall off!''


    In the distance, they saw a grey shadow scurrying past, seemingly on pink boots.


    ''What was that?''


    They both strained to recognise something, but the night remained opaque.


    It wasn''t until the next morning on the 656 that they would see what had happened. When Impel went to feed her beloved donkey with carrots, she found the stable empty.


    The donkey had disappeared.

 Coffee and cake

    Lady Evelyne sat at the table in her room in the Clan Castle of 656, busily writing in her journal. SGH, who came in to check on her friend, looked curiously over her shoulder.


    ''Can I have a look?''


    ''Here you go,'' smiled the lady and pushed the book towards SGH. SGH read the two pages in front of her in amazement. The word ''cake'' was written there countless times.


    ''Cake cake cake cake...'' SGH read aloud, ''what is this? I don''t understand it. Why do you keep writing the same word over and over again?''


    ''It was a friend''s advice,'' the lady replied gently. ''He said that if you can''t say something, if a word can''t be translated or the context is too difficult, then just replace the words with ''cake''. ''Cake¡® is the unpronounceable thing on these pages. It''s a code.''


    ''And what does the code translate to?'' SGH wanted to know.


    Lady Evelyne laughed. ''I''ll tell you one day. But not today. Today I''ll just say ''cake''. Would you like a slice, by the way?''


    __________________________________________


    ''What''s Lipsyte doing out there?'' Several Thunder brothers crowded round the window when the first one spotted his mate outside. ''He''s climbing a tree! What''s he doing there?''


    ''My squirrels have run off!'' shouted Lipsyte out of breath from outside, determined to recapture his pets, ''they''ve escaped like lightning from the cellar and dashed up into the tree!''


    ''Careful, Lippy!'' shouted Thunder Benexi anxiously, ''You''re not a cat! Why don''t you let me and Thunder Cat do it! Or Thunder Loki! You''ll fall off if you''re not careful!''


    ''No shit!'' roared Lipsyte, ''It''s all very simple here! Just wait, you squirrel bastards, I''ll have you in no time!''


    And he eagerly climbed higher and higher.


    __________________________________________


    ''There''s a new name on the door! The wall has been erased! The R5 is different! The members are different!'' Chitadrita staggered into the hall confused, ''Where am I? How long have I been asleep?''


    ''A hundred years, sweetheart!'' said Miss Trinitiy softly, ''A hundred years, like in a fairy tale. You wake up and everything is different. Just have a coffee and a piece of cake, and let me fill you in on young wedded bliss.''


    __________________________________________


    Lipsyte had almost made it. Just a few more metres and he would have reached his squirrels. Ignoring the warning cries of his Thunder brothers, he climbed higher and higher.


    ''Come on, you two... come to Daddy... I''ll take you back to your cellar... you''ll have a good time with me!''


    Just a tiny bit more...


    ''I''ve got you, you bastards!'' Lipsyte made a mighty leap to catch the squirrels in one bound.


    _____________________________________________


    The surprise was perfect when Yikesy entered the kitchen of the 652''s clan castle. A familiar figure was sitting at the table.


    ''Elsa!'' exclaimed Yikesy delightedly, ''that you''re here again for once!''


    The woman stood up and gave Yikesy a warm hug. Together with Mo, they had been champions of bullying, according to former team-mates. Such a title was of course an honour! However, Elsa hardly had any time left for the game and had practically stopped playing. She only rarely came to visit and look after her old brothers and sisters.


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    Before Yikesy even got to chatting, she remembered the letter she had been carrying around with her for some time now. ''Oh, I''ve got something for you!'' she exclaimed, pulling out the pink envelope. ''It was deposited in the oven in the castle we conquered from the 656. Your name is on the envelope. Nothing else.''


    Curious, Elsa took the letter and opened it.


    ''From whom?'' Yikesy couldn''t stop herself from asking. She, too, was not free of the classic female curiosity.


    Elsa smiled. ''An old acquaintance. Lady Evelyne. We remember each other from before. From the edge of the map.''


    ''From the edge of the map?'' growled Mink, who had entered the kitchen with the Dude and Kodaxx, ''what were you doing at the edge of the map, hey?''


    Elsa raised her eyebrows mockingly. ''That''s where I retreated to when you guys were being unbearable. And that was often the case! Then I got out and went to the edge of the map in my former town. After all, I originally came from 656 and was in F1F... And yes, you guys were unbearable, especially F1FMafia! Lady Evelyne usually noticed and then came to me at the edge of the map, sat down with me, with tea and cake. And then we''d rant about you blokes. And yes, it did me good.''


    ''And what''s in the letter?'' Mink wanted to know, full of male curiosity.


    ''The letter is for me, not for you. It contains a greeting to someone else, which I''ll deliver later. But don''t imagine that I''m going to let you read the letter!''


    Mink put his arms on his hips. ''I have no need anyway! It''s enough that everyone expects me to read this damn book! The worst war propaganda ever!'' He snorted angrily. ''And my own people are still writing fan mail to this chick! Has anyone ever asked me what I think of that?''


    Angrily, he turned to Dude and Kodaxx. ''Guys, I was going to tell you anyway, it''s time we did something about this. Make a list, please. Find out which of our people think they need to send fan mail to this chick. Then I''ll kick and burn these guys myself!''


    ''Er, bro... er...'' Dude and Kodaxx both looked like they didn''t quite know whether to look guilty or laugh.


    ''It might be difficult with the kicking and burning...''


    Yikesy burst into grumbling giggles. The scales fell from Mink''s eyes and he shouted: ''Damn it! Not you too!''


    Yikesy was still giggling: ''Almost everyone here, my boy. You''re the ruler of this world and soon to be king of the whole bracket. But this book is - out of your control.''


    If there was one thing Mink hated, it was when things got out of his control. He knew he was a genius at pre-planning. He had already completed GW1 in his mind, his thoughts were already flying far ahead to GW2, and his plans had not only already taken shape, but had already entered the first phase of realisation.


    ''Burn it! Or just burn the author right now!''


    ''You can do that,'' Elsa replied calmly from the kitchen table, ''but Lady Evelyne already told me back then that she could play what she''s playing here from a completely zeroed turf from the edge of the map. In that respect - it really is beyond your control.''


    Mink got the uneasy feeling that his mind was slipping away from him.


    ''Damn, I have countless T4 accounts...''


    ''You can''t send the T4s against a book.''


    ''Then just the T5 as soon as we have it!''


    ''You can''t send the T5 against a book either.''


    ''It can''t be that I can''t do ANYTHING here!''


    Yikesy gently and reassuringly patted Mink on the head. ''Oh, my boy... I''m sorry for you. But someone on the other side has unceremoniously moved her personal battlefield. Into an area where you can''t follow. That''s mean, yes. But this is a war game. At best, we could look for someone to write a counter-book. But I''m afraid we don''t have anyone.''


    ''I could do it!'' suddenly shouted Thunder Galal, who had entered the kitchen unnoticed, ''I know a lot of swear words and could write pages and pages of them! That would certainly impress them over there and then it would stop because they would have to realise that I''m better!'' He beamed and patted himself on the back with enthusiasm.


    Elsa struggled to keep a serious face and Yikesy almost choked with the effort not to burst out laughing.


    Mink stared from one to the other. Then he turned round abruptly on his heel and left the room, slamming the door.


    The next moment, there was a sudden crash outside.


    Lipsyte had fallen from the tree at full speed.


    _______________________________________


    At home, Elsa pulled out the letter again. Smiling, she read it for the second time. The letter said:


    ''My dear, I''ve been meaning to write to you for a long time. You were absolutely right about everything you told us back then about F1FMafia. And we''re sorry that we didn''t believe you. You tried to warn us, so it was our own fault. I also wanted to thank you for never showing up on our front lines. You used to be R4 of this clan, and I appreciate your sensitivity in avoiding this front and choosing another one. Personally, I still think it''s a sign of a lack of style to bash the former prot¨¦g¨¦s with the former protector''s account. But you can''t buy style and sensitivity - you either have it or you don''t. Incidentally, despite everything, I am firmly convinced that a certain account will return to me one way or another at some point. As a wrapped parcel, as a gift, whatever. After all, I asked for a lion skin for my birthday and I have a feeling that I will get it. Farewell, my dear, I''ll see you at the edge of the map one day. I''ll bring the cake. And please give my regards to Marzzzz. He was right too. Evelyne.''

 The return

    Lil Arrow, the boss of 655, made sure that the seriousness with which he took the game was evident at all times. He regularly wrote in the GC that he was not here for fun. And he paid great attention to his appearance. So he meticulously checked his appearance that morning too. His golden cloak fitted perfectly, he had had his face powdered by one of his girls and, with the help of his R4 hairdresser, had just put on his wig with its undulating curls. Lil Arrow believed that a well-groomed appearance conveyed dignity and appropriateness of the wearer and generated respect and appreciation from the other person. His role model in this respect was Louis XIV. He had just checked his appearance in the man-sized mirror that the girl held up to him when the shouting started again outside.


    ''You have no skills!''


    ''Neither do you!''


    ''We don''t like you!''


    ''We don''t like you either!''


    ''How does it feel for you not to be able to enter Z4?''


    ''How does it feel for you to just be incredibly fat and big?''


    ''You look like losers!''


    ''And you look like Jabba the Hutt!''


    Lil Arrow tore open the window and shouted in the direction of the 652 and the 656: ''Just shut the fuck up, both of you! You''ve been getting on my nerves for weeks! It''s time for all this nonsense to end and I can get back to the game with MY people in MY city!''


    He threw the window shut even before a double ''Cry!'' resounded back in all cheerfulness.


    _____________________________________________


    King Mink was annoyed. Once again, not by his opponents, but by his own people. Instead of being grateful and frugal, they hung around in the entrance hall of the clan castle and were bored. They grumbled! They dared to grumble! The game had become boring, by now they had seen and experienced everything that could be experienced here. The opponents had all been defeated or at least pushed back far enough, every challenge eliminated. These eternally repetitive events, the daily login almost an obligation, and everything somehow stupid. King Mink couldn''t believe it. This ungrateful gang! He had invested time, nerves, money and endless amounts of brainpower to get his city to the point where it was now. And now that it was time to reap the harvest and enjoy the success, this Thunder pack was just too dull to realise what was behind the victory. They took it for granted and were stubborn and bad-tempered because everything was now becoming monotonous to them. He had prepared a golden floor for them! A red carpet had been rolled out! And instead of recognising this and being satisfied, they grumbled and some even talked about quitting. King Mink locked himself in his bedroom and indulged in marvellous fantasies of simply burning all the ungrateful members to death himself.


    ___________________________________________


    Impel was desperate. She had been searching for days for her beloved donkey, which had suddenly and quietly disappeared from the stables of the 656 clan castle during the night. She had searched everywhere for it, even sneaking to the clan castle of 652, but even there she had only found an empty stable and two squirrels cheekily jumping around in the tree in front of the castle and throwing nuts at each other.


    Impel put her sack of carrots back on her shoulders and continued her search. Without her little donkey, she realised, the GW map was simply not the same as before.


    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    __________________________________________


    ''Lippy, you don''t look well,'' the Thunder brothers greeted their comrade, who came hobbling back into the hall on crutches.


    ''Yeah, thanks, I know that too,'' Lipsyte hissed. ''Those bloody bastards, those squirrels! They got away from me when I fell out of the tree! And I almost had them!''


    ''They''ve had enough of your cellar, brother. I think you need to come up with something new.''


    Thunder Benexi raised his head and wiggled his whiskers mockingly: ''You should have listened to me... I told you, let us cats do it. We have experience climbing trees and hunting small animals. We would have taken the squirrels out of your tree right away.''


    ''Stop making me look incompetent!'' scolded Lipsyte, ''I can do something myself! And I''ll get those squirrels myself!''


    ''Oh yeah?'' grinned Thunder Loki, ''Let''s go then, brother. They''re out in the tree throwing nuts at each other!''


    Lipsyte snorted angrily and, without saying another word, limped towards the stairs and his room.


    __________________________________________________


    Lady Evelyne baked cakes. Lots of them, in fact. She carefully stacked them all on the kitchen shelf and sorted them into boxes.


    Chitadrita entered the kitchen and savoured the fragrant cake air. ''Oh, what are you doing?''


    ''I''m baking the provisions for the journey,'' laughed the lady, ''we''ll be heading back to the city soon. We should be prepared. It''s a long journey. And you can never have enough cake!''


    ''That''s probably true. By the way, my compatriot has been pardoned, have you seen?''


    ''The angry Russian? That''s marvellous. Nice that he was finally allowed to leave the penal colony. He wasn''t actually a spy. Just very, very angry.''


    ''Did he still send you nasty emails?''


    ''Only two or three. Until I told him other people were responsible for him now.''


    ''And what happened then?''


    ''Well, he got angry. Very angry. Did you expect anything else?''


    __________________________________________


    Lipsyte was sitting in an armchair by the wide-open window of his room in the spring sunshine and was just about to open the latest edition of ''Legends'' to enjoy an afternoon of reading when something rustled on the windowsill.


    Astonished, he looked up. There were two squirrels sitting on the windowsill. HIS squirrels. And the next moment he got a nut on his nose. These bastards dared to throw nuts at him!


    Very, very carefully, so as not to frighten the animals, he put the book aside. He moved slower than a tortoise, completely steady and calm. Supporting himself on the armchair, he got to his feet. Only one leg was injured, the other he could use as a supporting leg without any problems. So he could do without the crutches. It was less than a metre from his position to the window sill. Just one courageous jump, one grab, and then he would have them, those damn bastards...


    __________________________________________


    One floor below, Thunder Loki heard a rustling above him. Astonished, he opened the window and looked up. He just managed to pull his head back in time to hear a shrill scream from outside. Everyone flinched. The next moment, Lipsyte crashed to the ground outside the window at full speed.


    ___________________________________________


    Cake bowls were distributed to everyone in the 656 clan castle. ''Put it on your head and don''t put it down under any circumstances!'' the leadership urged the members. ''Tomorrow is massacre day. Please remember to keep the cake bowl on your head at all times!''


    ''And bring it back afterwards, right!'' growled the lady, ''I''m not done baking yet! It''s an absolute bad habit in this game that you keep misappropriating my cake bowls and then I have to run after them to get them back! Who came up with the idea that you have to put cake bowls on your head here anyway, hey?''


    ''No idea,'' mumbled Captain Zaxpool, who had been drunk for days for some unknown reason. ''But there was still icing in my bowl. Now add a decent beer and the evening will be saved.''


    ______________________________________________________


    ''Lippy, you do NOT look good at all,'' the Thunder brothers remarked apprehensively as Lipsyte was pushed into the hall in a wheelchair by Thunder Horny.


    ''Everybody just shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up,'' muttered Lipsyte, ''I''d kill you if I could, but now BOTH legs are broken. So I''m putting this off. Anyone got a lot of beer for me? And I''ll give 20 million diamonds to whoever carries me and my wheelchair up to my room. There''s no lift here. Too few toilets and no lift. What a shitty place this is!''


    King Mink pursed his lips and thought to himself. Ungratefulness. At some point, this really should be penalised. The time between GW1 and GW2 would be a good opportunity. Perhaps a public execution? That had already disciplined many a faction. King Mink was beginning to like the idea.


    ____________________________________________________


    In the clan castle of 655, Lil Arrow had finished his morning routine and was ready for the day. He was about to head to his throne room and get serious about the game when the door opened and his right hand man AceAngel entered the room.


    ''''Boss, you should see this...'''' was all AceAngel said, and Lil Arrow knew immediately that it must be something serious. He followed his colleague down the stairs to the lower floors of the castle.


    Together they entered the stable next to the gate.


    Lil Arrow''s breath caught in his throat. In his clan castle, in his stable, stood a donkey. But not just a donkey: he had a pink saddle on his back, a pink hat on his head and pink boots on his hooves. He was a goddamn joke!


    Lil Arrow gasped and gripped his golden cape with one hand and his wig with the other to keep at least these two attributes in balance.


    The donkey turned round and blew his stinking breath into the powdered face of the head of the 655 with a snarl: ''You''re gay!''


    Lil Arrow swooned.

 Squirrel hunt

    Lil Arrow lay moaning on his canap¨¦, trying to regain consciousness and get rid of his headache. There was an ice pack on his forehead and two of his girls were standing next to the couch with large peacock feather fans, fanning the boss of the 655.


    ''They put a joke in my stable... they put a joke in my stable...'' Lil Arrow kept whispering half-consciously, ''me of all people, the only one who really takes the game seriously... what impudence, what audacity, what disrespect... And then they zeroed me twice while I was unconscious. If I hadn''t fainted, that would never have happened! Zeroed twice! I should stop, yes really, I should stop and find a more serious and respectful server.''


    He would have liked to cry, but he was careful not to do so - he was too afraid of the globally recognised cry of ''Cry!'' that regularly rang out from the 652 clan castle.


    So he just lay on his canap¨¦, whimpering softly, waiting for the headache pill to finally dissolve far enough in the glass of water.


    He was still lying there when his right-hand man and best fighter AceAngel entered the room.


    Lil Arrow waved his hand weakly, ''Faithful companion, what news do you bring?''


    AceAngel grinned, ''Good ones, I hope! I''ve been to RxD and cleared fifteen - or was it twenty? - of their accounts of their troops and cleaned everything up nicely. They''re all useless. And because I was already at the 652 anyway, I also brought the donkey back to them and put it back in their stable.''


    Lil Arrow half sat up: ''The joke''s gone? Really gone?''


    AceAngel laughed: ''Yes, the joke is gone and so is half of RxD. You can get off your sofa, boss. All is right with the world again.''


    Lil Arrow propped himself up carefully and adjusted his cape. Maybe he didn''t need a headache pill after all. Maybe all really was right with the world again.


    There was a crash outside. Then someone shouted: ''Shit! The towers are on fire!''


    Lil Arrow staggered to the window. His clan towers were indeed on fire. And the checkpoint. And his base.


    Several fighters ran down the corridor outside, quickly donning their battle suits. ''The 656 is attacking!''


    ''What? Not the 652, but the 656? What do they want?'' asked Lil Arrow, stunned, ''Aren''t they the defeated ones?''


    ''Er, boss...'' AceAngel said cautiously, ''I''m afraid they''re not quite defeated yet. Half, maybe. Or a third. I''m really sorry for you. But I have to get to the front quickly now.''


    Lil Arrow made it back to the couch. Then he fainted.


    ______________________________________________


    Lipsyte sat in his wheelchair in his room on the first floor and thought about how he could manage to heave himself out of the wheelchair and into his bed without help. He didn''t really want to need the help of the Thunder brothers all the time, even though Thunder Horny had really excelled himself now and had been pushing him around most of the day. However, Lipsyte was annoyed to realise that being pushed around in a wheelchair behind the combat team was no fun at all. He hadn''t been able to take much from the massacre day, only two girls from the 656 had been burnt and he had been able to enjoy it a little.


    While he was still thinking about the most skilful way to get to his bed with his legs in plaster casts, he heard a rustling noise in the corridor outside. Lipsyte listened. It was otherwise very quiet in the clan castle, only a few people were still awake. In the parlour next to the entrance hall, King Mink was still brooding over his strategic plans for GW2, and Kodaxx had still not returned from the battlefield. He was the only one of the entire squad who still swore by the true fighting power of kitchen aprons and high heels, which greatly reduced his speed of action. As a result, it now took Kodaxx at least two hours longer than everyone else to get back from a raid.


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    The rustling in the corridor was unsettling. Lipsyte quietly switched off the light in his room and carefully pushed the wheelchair with both hands. Almost silently, he unlatched the door and let himself roll gently into the corridor in the wheelchair. Nothing. Silence. He carefully rolled on towards the large flight of steps that led down to the entrance hall. At the top of the landing, only a single lamp was lit, the rest was in darkness. As an experienced fighter, Lipsyte made sure to stay outside the circle of light from the lamp and stopped the wheelchair. He listened into the darkness with keen senses.


    Suddenly a nut hit him on the head. Lipsyte flinched and automatically reached for his knife. And then he saw them.


    Like two immobile statues, with pitch-black, slightly shiny beady eyes, his squirrels were perched on the banister right at the top of the stairs. They had had the cheek to throw a nut at him. And now they stared at him provocatively without making a single move.


    Lipsyte slowly exhaled the air he had been holding and discreetly pushed the knife back. Then he very quietly and carefully set the wheelchair in motion. He only had to get a tiny bit closer to the stairs... then a quick speed-up on the wheels of the wheelchair... one quick movement, one bold grab and he would have them, those damn bastards of squirrels...


    Lipsyte gripped the wheels of his wheelchair tightly and gave it full speed.


    _______________________________________


    Mink had finished his strategic planning for GW2 in the parlour to his satisfaction and was finally ready to turn in for the night. He switched off the light, opened the door to the entrance hall and was about to enter when a loud scream from the direction of the stairs made him jump. He managed to save himself just in time by jumping backwards quickly, then Lipsyte raced straight towards him in his wheelchair, rattling down the stairs at an insane speed.


    He narrowly missed the king and thundered unchecked towards the huge double-leaf entrance door. Kodaxx, who had finally managed to return from the battlefield, was less fortunate than the king. Although he heard wild shouting from inside, he suspected that the Thunder brothers were drunk and unsuspectingly opened the door from the outside. The next moment, the speeding Lipsyte collided with Kodaxx, who fell over helplessly like a bowling pin due to the sixteen kitchen aprons, was unceremoniously run over by the wheelchair, and then the speeding wheelchair disappeared into the darkness along with its hapless, loudly screaming passenger.


    Kodaxx, unable to get to his feet on his own, scrambled up into a half-sitting position. ''What the hell was that?''


    Mink snorted. ''That was the insanity I''m subjected to here every day. If this keeps up, I''m switching to 655.''


    _________________________________________________


    Blood! A contract like this was best signed in blood. Lil Arrow bit his lower lip in excitement and anticipation as he made a small cut on his forearm and dipped the pen to sign the letter he had just written.


    That was enough for him. He had had enough for good. Tougher measures had to be taken so that his opponent finally realised that this was no joke. A contract killer had to be found, and quickly. Fortunately, it was only a question of the price. But it was a price he was willing to pay. Lil Arrow carefully rolled up the order, tied it to the foot of a pigeon and sent the animal on its journey south.


    ________________________________________________


    A cheerful mood prevailed at the front that the 656 had built up to the 655. Captain Zaxpool was as drunk as ever and had learnt to order his beer in eight different languages. Tower after tower of the 655 was burnt to ashes, and since AceAngel alone could not save everything, the winning streak continued. They had just extended the lines when they were surprised to discover that the control point that the Japanese general had routinely taken over was under attack.


    ''RxW?'' StlK wondered, ''what are they doing here?''


    ''It''s probably some kind of contract killing,'' slurred the captain with a heavy tongue, ''Lil Arrow will have paid them. Or they''re begging for a beating.''


    ''Yeah, or they''re scrapping troops. Maybe they think their city is stupid now and want to migrate and reduce the price.''


    ''No, they want to search for their T4 later. They think it''s a funny game after seeing Thunder Boo do it again and again.''


    The 656 waited anxiously for the impact. It came and ended - as expected.


    Captain Zaxpool grinned. ''A lot of people must be looking for their missing T4 now. Mink, the Dude, Poison Ivy, oh, the Thunder Boo was there again, he''ll never learn, Josi, Marzzzz, ...''


    Then he shouted in the direction of the 652: ''Cool fight guys! Too bad it was only a try!''


    ''It was worth the try!'' the Dude shouted back, ''If it had been at the beginning of GW1, when we still had the turbos, we would have won!''


    ''Yeah, yeah,'' muttered Lady Evelyne, ''and if Lil Arrow hadn''t fainted, he wouldn''t have been zeroed twice and would have won too, of course. And if the angry Russian had been allowed to migrate his big account here from the old town, then he would have shown us how great he can beat us all up, and of course he would have won hands down. And if Christmas and Easter had fallen on the same day, we would definitely have won GW. Yes, yes, yes.''


    ''Hey!'' roared the Dude in offence, ''I heard that!''


    ''Cry!'' the girls of 656 yelled back in chorus.


    ________________________________________________


    When Thunder Horny pushed the wheelchair into the hall with the freshly treated Lipsyte, the conversations of the Thunder brothers stopped for a moment. They were all drunk again, but the sight sobered them up briefly.


    ''I''ll punch the first person who thinks he can make a stupid joke in the face,'' growled Lipsyte.


    ''Brother,'' said Thunder Jack cautiously, ''you''ve got two arms in plaster. How are you going to punch anyone in the face here?''


    ''I don''t care! Then I''ll kick him in the face!''


    ''Brother... you''ve got two legs in plaster. How are you going to kick anyone in the face here?''


    ''Oh shut the fuck up!'' roared Lipsyte, ''I''ll kill the first one who keeps bugging me!''


    ''Brother... you''re going to need help with everything first... I mean... on your own... how are you going to pee? You''re going to need someone to hold your - uh - dingdong - uh.''


    ''I can do that.'' Thunder Horny smiled gently.


    Lipsyte would have winced and wheeled around if he could have. With four limbs in plaster, it wasn''t possible. With sudden suspicion of his self-appointed nurse, he asked, ''You? Why you?''


    ''Because he''s gay!'' roared the donkey from the stable, ''Gay and horny!''


    ''No,'' said Lipsyte quickly, ''no. No, Horny, don''t push me into that dark corridor back there. I don''t want to be alone with you. Horny, don''t do that, I want to go back to the others right now. Horny, bloody hell, noooooooo!''

 Devilish angel

    It was another dark night when Lady Evelyne - once again - received a visitor in her kitchen who had come unnoticed by everyone. She pushed him a plate with a piece of cake and a cup in a practised manner and sat down opposite him. Most of the people who came to her wanted to talk. They usually had something on their mind. And the lady was firmly convinced that there was nothing that a good piece of cake and a friendly listening ear couldn''t put right.


    So she waited a little, and the visitor promptly started talking.


    ¡®I''m afraid I''m not a hero,¡¯ sighed AceAngel of the 655, because that''s who this was. ¡®I think it''s great that you say I''ll have a leading role in Chapter 16, which will be published tomorrow. And that I''m a hero there. But I''m afraid I''m not.¡¯


    ¡®Why shouldn''t you be?¡¯ replied Lady Evelyne in astonishment, ¡¯you played the front against us brilliantly. Almost the only one, by the way. That''s absolutely commendable and heroic!¡¯


    AceAngel stirred his cup thoughtfully. ¡®I actually think that I will also play a leading role in your seventeenth chapter. But I don''t think I''ll be a hero anymore.¡¯


    Lady Evelyne watched AceAngel thoughtfully. ¡®Now slow down. Why wouldn''t you be a hero in chapter 17? Let me think - you''re planning to attack us tonight. That''s great. That''s part of the game. You''re planning to zero me tonight. No problem, that''s also part of the game. Or you''re planning to go to 652 tonight, get down on your knees in front of their castle gate and wait for an invitation. Hmm. Well...¡¯


    ¡®I''ve never begged before!¡¯ protested AceAngel, ¡¯It''s not that. It''s... hmm...¡¯


    ¡®Evelyne, will you come here?¡¯ called from outside.


    The lady smiled apologetically at her visitor and left the kitchen briefly.


    The man left behind finished his cup and looked around thoughtfully. A piece of paper, impaled in the wall next to the cooker with a knife, caught his eye. Curious, he stood up, pulled the knife out of the wall, removed the piece of paper and read it.


    ¡®HELP!¡¯ was written on it. And underneath: ¡®Yikesy is bullying me. Thunder Dude¡¯. And below that: ¡®Me too. Thunder Mink.¡¯


    AceAngel quietly took a pen from the kitchen shelf and wrote underneath: ¡®Not me yet, but soon. AceAngel.¡¯


    Then he nailed the note with the knife back on the wall, took his bundle and left the kitchen unseen and discreetly through the back entrance. Outside, he didn''t head north to 655, but south to 652.


    _______________________________________


    Lipsyte was screaming at the top of his lungs. But those drunken Thunder brothers in the hall didn''t seem to care where Thunder Horny was pushing him in his wheelchair and what he was planning to do with him. Helplessly, he had to allow his self-appointed nurse to push him relentlessly towards his own bedroom on the ground floor. With four limbs in plaster, he had no chance of resisting.


    Outside, he could still hear the donkey bellowing: ¡®Because he''s gay! Gay and horny!'' Then they reached Thunder Horny''s bedroom. Horny was just about to open the door when it opened by itself and ThunDer Cock, a huge guy dressed only in a pink bathrobe, stepped out. He took in the situation at a glance.


    ¡®Brother,¡¯ he growled menacingly and glared sharply at Thunder Horny, ¡¯are you being unfaithful to me?¡¯


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    Thunder Horny took half a step to the side, quickly kicked open the door to a storeroom at the end of the corridor with his foot and pushed the wheelchair and Lipsyte into it without further ado. Through the slamming door, Lipsyte could still hear Thunder Horny saying reassuringly to ThunDer Cock: ¡®But no, honey, I was just quickly putting something away in the storeroom! I''ll be right over! Have you let our bath water in yet, honey?¡¯


    Then the door was finally closed and Lipsyte sat alone in his wheelchair in the dark.


    In the hall, a few Thunder brothers had now noticed the situation and were peering curiously into the corridor.


    ¡®They''re together?¡¯ wondered one.


    ¡®Of course they are! Because they''re gay!¡¯ roared the donkey from the stable.


    ¡®I didn''t know that either! But it makes sense somehow. I mean, Cock and Horny... you can tell from their names alone that they definitely belong together. Like an old married couple.¡¯


    ¡®Yes, they fit well together. Or fit well on top of each other. Or fit well into each other.¡¯


    ¡®Yes, because they''re gay! That''s what I said!¡¯ the donkey grumbled.


    Kodaxx rolled his eyes: ¡®Cry!¡¯


    __________________________________________


    Lil Arrow had woken up with a terrible headache. The last day had been full of losses for him. The front was an absolute disaster, the 656 was advancing inexorably. The contract killers had turned out to be utter failures, and he had the uneasy feeling that someone, somewhere, was making fun of him and his serious view of the game in a despicable way. Unfortunately, he couldn''t pinpoint exactly where this feeling was coming from, but mostly he could count on it being true. He called his girls and his R4 hairdresser and got himself dressed and groomed for the day.


    Just as his golden cloak was being folded into perfectly correct, even folds by everyone involved, he realised that someone was missing.


    ¡®Where''s AceAngel anyway?¡¯


    His R4 hairdresser cleared his throat. His girls looked down and pretended they hadn''t heard.


    ¡®I''m serious! Where is he?¡¯ shouted Lil Arrow, feeling panic rising inside him.


    ¡®¡¯Boss, please don''t get upset, it''s bad for your health and your blood pressure. AceAngel left last night... so he left us... so he''s... somewhere else now.¡¯


    Lil Arrow felt like he couldn''t breathe.


    ¡®Damn it, where is he?¡¯ he shouted angrily.


    ¡®On 652,¡¯ one of the girls whispered. Then his people ran out of the room as fast as they could.


    Lil Arrow staggered to the window. He needed fresh air. AceAngel, his right-hand man, his only hope, had left him. He tore open the window. Outside, everything was on fire.


    ¡®Yoo-hoo, 655! Do you want to tell us some funny stories and swap anecdotes now?¡¯ there was a cheerful roar from outside in the direction of the dreadfully close 656.


    Lil Arrow did what he did best: He fainted.


    ________________________________________


    AceAngel stood in the entrance hall of the 652''s clan castle and took a deep breath. What a feeling! Free at last. No longer having to play the entire front alone. Finally being himself again! To celebrate the day, a renaming was urgently needed.


    Something dangerous. Something respectable. And definitely something with ¡®Thunder¡¯ as a prefix!


    He quickly picked up his writing materials and changed his name to ¡®THUNDERCOCK¡¯.


    He was looking at his work with satisfaction when a giant shadow fell on him from behind.


    ¡®Young brother,¡¯ it rumbled menacingly above him.


    AceAngel blinked upwards. The giant of a man leaning over him did not look very trustworthy. It didn''t help that he was wearing a pink bathrobe.


    ¡®Young brother,¡¯ the giant repeated, ¡¯I am ThunDer Cock. I am the biggest and I have the biggest. And there can only be one. So change your name again very quickly.¡¯


    AceAngel nodded frantically and quickly crossed out the new name. But which one should he choose?


    ¡®Take AceDemon!¡¯ it roared from the direction of the 656.


    Not a bad idea! But you don''t necessarily want to copy everything people say. AceAngel finally scribbled ¡®DmenAce¡¯ in his name field. The giant shadow growled in satisfaction and disappeared. AceAngel slowly let the air he had been holding escape from his lungs.


    From now on, a new life began.


    ______________________________________________


    Complete silence reigned in the clan castle of the 652. Everyone had gone to bed and the moon shone pale in the deserted entrance hall.


    If anyone had still been awake and had walked through the entrance hall, he would certainly have noticed the faint calls from the dark corridor that ended in a storeroom.


    ¡®Hello? Hello? Can''t anyone hear me? I''m here! Get me out of here!¡¯


    But as nobody was awake, nobody could hear these calls. And so the unfortunate Lipsyte had no choice but to spend the night in the storeroom.

 Revolt out of boredom

    ''Mercy is the greatest thing in the world,'' remarked Aglid, who was the secret nightly guest in the kitchen of 656 this time, ''so I vote to pardon the delinquent.''


    Lady Evelyne smiled. As always, Aglid had a very poetic and flowery way of expressing himself. But without question he had a pure heart.


    The Lady noted Aglid''s vote and looked at the result. It was a tie. It was going to be exciting.


    ''I mean,'' Aglid continued slowly, ''there are still those who have not yet been punished. You know which ones I mean.''


    ''Certainly. But we''ll have to wait a little longer for those. Don''t worry, I have them on my list. My list never forgets anyone.


    ''Your words scare me. I hope I''ll never be on your list.''


    ''No one who is pure of heart needs to be scared.''


    ''It''s easy to say and it sounds nice, but, dear madam, sometimes I don''t know how to judge things.''


    The lady smiled again. Aglid''s way of expressing himself had always been special. In extreme situations, he excelled in this respect.


    ''Fifteen more days of GW, dear friend. Can we make it?''


    Aglid nodded. Then he disappeared quietly and unseen through the back door into the night.


    _______________________________________________


    On 656, Yanto Corleone ran along the corridor in front of the kitchen and shouted ''Raid, Raid, Raid!''. Then he tore open the door to the kitchen and shouted cheerfully inside: ''If you''re late for the raid, you have to do push-ups!''


    ''Whaaaaat?''


    Panic broke out inside. Lady Evelyne was shocked and dropped her wooden spoon into the pot of Russian borsch she was cooking. Impel jumped up and looked for her sword, SGH almost fell over Impel in an attempt to catch up with the gathering fighting force in the hall as quickly as possible.


    ''Without using your hands!'' added Mr Dave from down the hall, laughing out loud.


    ''Who thought this up again!'' wailed Lady Evelyne, turning down the hob and wondering if she had enough time to get changed.


    ''Two more minutes!'' shouted someone from the hall. Cursing, Lady Evelyne ran off as she was: in her kitchen apron and high heels.


    ''Push-ups without hands, I can''t do that!'' gasped SGH, who ran alongside the Lady, ''It must have been the generals again! How is that supposed to work?''


    ''You should make them on the tip of your nose! That''s the way they are! I know it does! Hurry up, dear friend...''


    ''Hurry, Sis!'' urged Ace, ''PHx is almost at the end. We''ll finish them off. We''re about to break through. Last raid for today.''


    The girls managed to join the raiding party just in time.


    __________________________________________________


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    Kodaxx put the binoculars down at the window of the 652. ''Kitchen apron and high heels! They''re wearing it again! Of course there are secret crew atk boosts! I don''t care what you say!''


    ''Bro,'' growled Marzzzz, ''by now I''m sure they''ve got us fooled. I haven''t been able to tell any difference in the stats. The only difference is that I now have blisters and corns on my feet and what feels like 1000 embarrassing videos of us have gone viral. You''d better take off those damn kitchen aprons and throw those awful high heels in the bin!''


    ''I don''t care what you think,'' Kodaxx replied haughtily, ''I don''t take any advice from accounts that are smaller than mine anyway. Grow up a bit first, brother, until I hear you out!''


    Marzzzz was about to say something angry when noise rang out in the hall below. Irritated, he opened the door and went out into the gallery.


    The hall was full of Thunder brothers.


    They held banners in their hands and raised posters in the air. These read: ''We''re bored!'' and ''Give us entertainment, otherwise we''ll get it from you!''. Chants could also be heard. ''Burn everything, burn everything!''


    ''What on earth is that?'' asked Mink, who had joined Marzzzz in the gallery, stunned.


    The Dude had also joined the group and looked gloomily down into the hall.


    ''Brother, I''m afraid this is a revolt. Or a revolution. Or a mutiny. At the very least, it''s something close. We should deal with it before it becomes something more.''


    _____________________________________________


    ''They''re attacking with Lupo as enforcer! They are unbearable! Now more and more are coming with Lupos as enforcers! They''re parodying the game!'' Lil Arrow almost cried.


    His girls moved their peacock fans faster to fan him. The R4 hairdresser bit his lips.


    ''Look at that... that Irish joker, that Carbomber, that Big JC - all coming with Lupo as an enforcer! I wrote them all that you can tell they have no idea about the game and are insufferable noobs!''


    ''Boss,'' said the hairdresser carefully, taming the curls of Lil Arrow''s wig. ''''They''ve just zeroed us. That they have no idea about the game and are insufferable noobs is perhaps in light of that fact... er... if they''ve killed you now with Lupos as enforcers...''


    ''Oh shut up!'' shouted Lil Arrow in a wholly inelegant and less than genteel manner.


    ''Yay, 655!'' it roared happily outside the window, ''even Lupo as an enforcer is enough for you. You can send the good guys to the other front. It''s like sending the wolf after the sheep, hell yeah!''


    ''I will kill you all! As soon as I can! And I''ll be able to soon! I mean it seriously! ''


    ___________________________________________


    Mink was stunned. So that was the thanks. Months of work to stage a GW that no bracket had ever seen before: no battle for the centre, just him alone and his clan, his city. A victory like soft butter in the sun. Marvellous, unique, fascinating in perfect aesthetics. And this band of barbarians moaned that they were bored. They appreciated nothing, absolutely nothing. They demanded vile entertainment instead of being able to enjoy the brilliance and perfection of his creation in silence and devotion.


    They dared to stand in his hall and make demands. He should have burned them all when there was still time. Now it was too late. They were just waiting for their rewards, and then only the good Lord knew where they would end up. Some had already announced that they wanted to quit out of boredom.


    Marzzzz was talking to them, Mink didn''t feel up to it at the moment. The ingratitude he had just experienced was too frustrating for him. He really wanted to find someone who would just listen to him. Unfortunately, he knew that this was virtually impossible in his position. So all he could do was put up with it and be annoyed with his own people.


    __________________________________________


    ''Do any of you understand PHx? Why are they just standing around and getting shot?'' asked Irish Carbombers irritably.


    ''No idea! Maybe they''re faint? Or are they asleep?''


    ''Lil Snoopsss wrote me that he told everyone to jump away and make a shield. And nobody listened to him. Now he''s exasperated and says we should please burn them all, he just sits by and watches.''


    ''Lil Snoopsss? Do they have a Lil family? Similar to the Thunder family?''


    ''Yes, exactly. But the 655 is standing there motionless like a flock of sheep.''


    ''Well, that fits. It''s the same with the family as with the flock of sheep. If they all switch to the 652 now, they can rename themselves.''


    ''The next one to enter the 652 could be called Thunder Sheep!'' SGH mumbled with her mouth full.


    ''Or Thunder lamb!''


    ''Thunder Sara would be cool too... You know, Princess Sara...''


    ''Thunder Kitten!''


    ''Thunder Bunny!''


    ''Thunder cuddly toy!''


    As everyone had a mouthful of cake, brainstorming as many names as possible with the prefix ''Thunder'' turned into a very mumbled event.


    ''Do you think the ones from the 652 will come again?'' sighed Chitadrita, ''Marzzzz hasn''t been back in his little sports car for ages. And I hate to say it, but I kind of miss him!''


    Outside, an aeroplane flew past, dragging an advertising banner behind it. ''Five minutes to go until the battle for the government building, get ready for it!''


    Chitadrita tore open the window and shouted out: ''What battle, please? You''re alone in the centre of the GW map! Fight yourselves if you want!''


    ''Exactly!'' shouted Liliana, who had stood next to Chitadrita, ''Fight your baby faction or your farm faction!''


    It remained quiet in the clan castle of 652 opposite. Apparently everyone was still asleep out of sheer boredom.


    ''But look!'' Impel giggled and showed the others her mobile phone. ''They''ve renamed the city. No longer ''MinkStinks''. It''s this instead!''


    The display read ''YallG4Y'' in large letters.


    __________________________________________________________


    On the tower of the clan castle of the 656, Lady Evelyne set down her binoculars.


    ''Something is brewing in the south,'' she informed the man standing behind her, ''and two more fronts are possible in the west and, strictly speaking, in the north... we should be vigilant and protect ourselves. MD is in two days.''


    Stlk took over the binoculars and surveyed the situation.


    ''Blitzkrieg against the 655 from now on. That has to be done before it starts in the south. Avoid war on two fronts... we''ll see. I''ll get the okay from the boss.''


    While Stlk went to Genny and Ghost''s shared bedroom, the Lady went back to the kitchen and pulled the next tray of pies out of the oven.


    ''No matter what, there''s always time for a good slice of cake. Who wants another slice?''

 The Complaints Office

    The book on good leadership that Mink had found on the bookshelf in his conquered Clancastle wasn''t bad at all. Goodness knows who had bought it originally, but someone had obviously studied it intensively. There was a whole chapter on internal resistance and dealing with dissatisfied employees. Mink read with interest. The authors advised professional complaint management. Employees should be given regular opportunities to voice their complaints to management. This would immediately ease the situation and often also provide good impetus for further action.


    Mink thought about it. There was actually nothing wrong with him taking half an afternoon from time to time, once a week for example, and letting his people talk. He had actually wanted to delegate it to Yikesy (after all, unlike him, she wasn''t busy!), but she had just tapped her forehead and given him a snippy ''Dream on!''.


    It was the same as always. You had to do everything yourself! But the advantage was that it was guaranteed to be done well.


    Mink took a piece of cardboard, wrote the word ''complaints office'' on it with a thick permanent marker and hung it on the door of the parlour on the ground floor. He then sat down at a table in the parlour and waited for what was to come.


    ___________________________________________


    ''We demand litter trays for the cats.'' Thunder Benexi sat coolly opposite the boss and knew exactly what he wanted.


    ''Thunder Cat and Thunder Loki are outside with a banner and a list of signatures. All the cats have already signed, and we''ve found supporters among the other animals too. As a dog, you can''t oppose it now.''


    ''Please what?'' Mink could hardly believe his ears.


    ''You''ve heard it. This clan castle is rubbish. There aren''t enough toilets, and it''s an imposition on the cats that they''re always expected to use the human toilets. We want litter trays.''


    ''And where am I supposed to get a litter tray in a hurry?''


    ''One? Several! Every cat wants its own litter tray.''


    Mink snorted. ''You''re not even a cat yet! Look at you! Look at your profile picture!''


    ''Careful. I define myself as a cat. So I am a cat. Diversity rules and protection of minorities. We demand both, by the way. In addition to the litter trays.''


    Mink counted slowly to ten inside.


    Then he endeavoured to put on a friendly face.


    ''All right,'' he said silkily, ''I''ll take care of it. Next please!''


    The donkey entered the parlour. Mink rolled his eyes.


    ''Do you want a special donkey toilet now? Or protection for minorities under the rules of diversity?''


    ''No, that''s too gay for me. I want my own stable!''


    Mink thought he had misheard him. ''You have your own stable!''


    ''Candycane has put her horse in my stable. I don''t want to be in a stable with that horse. The horse is gay.''


    ''Listen to me. I don''t have a second stable here. And I don''t see why, because of a horse...''


    ''The horse is sexually harassing me. I''m a straight donkey. The horse is gay. I demand that you remedy this.''


    Mink inwardly counted to ten again. ''We''ll put up a partition, okay? So the horse can''t see you any more.''


    ''And soundproof, please. And odour-proof. So that I can no longer hear and smell the horse. The horse farts all day. It''s unacceptable and the gayest thing ever."


    Mink nodded and stared at his notes. ''Next please!''


    Muslim Cat entered the room. Before he could sit down, Mink waved him off eagerly. ''You''ll get your litter tray! It''s all sorted!''


    ''I''m not here for the litter tray,'' Muslim Cat replied piqued. ''I want to complain!''


    Mink sighed. ''Okay, what is it with you?''


    ''I''ve noticed that the cat food they buy here has pork in it. I can''t eat that. As you may have realised, I''m a Muslim cat. I demand the purchase of cat food that is halal.''


    Mink felt like a merry-go-round was starting to spin in his head.


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    ''For the life of me, I don''t know where to get cat food that''s halal.''


    ''I don''t either. But I need something to eat. Yesterday I managed to catch and eat two squirrels that were running around here. But that''s not a permanent solution. You expect us to fight, I expect rations to be provided.''


    Mink nodded helplessly. He hastily made the necessary notes.


    Muslim Cat left the room, and the next moment an angry Russian came stomping in with a vodka bottle in his hand. He threw himself into an armchair opposite Mink and began to rave: ''I want to complain!''


    ''Yes, that''s what I''m here for,'' moaned Mink, ''what''s the problem with you?''


    ''I don''t have a problem! But this faction has one!"


    ''And which one is that?''


    ''Girls!'' grunted the angry Russian, ''you have too many girls in the leadership. That''s the end of any sensible faction, believe me on that. I saw that on the 656. A faction led by women can only capitulate in the end. If you don''t listen to me, that will be the end of you!''


    Mink cleared his throat. ''The women I have in charge here are doing a very good job...''


    ''Bullshit! They do a shit! You can see that you can''t really get through to the 656. They''re just weak women there! Just hit them! If you can''t do it because you''re too weak to get your way with the girls, give me R5 and I''ll sort it out!''


    Mink realised that he was starting to get angry. ''Now listen to me...''


    ''No, you listen to me! I''ve got a lot of experience and I know my stuff!'' roared the angry Russian, slamming his vodka bottle so hard on Mink''s table that it almost shattered. ''It''s all rubbish what you''re doing here! You''ve got nothing under control here! At least give me R4, then I''ll turn the faction into a powerful force that can really make a difference, not something half-baked, and I''ll throw all these women out myself!''


    Mink leaned back slowly and rang for his security guard, who was also immediately in the room. ''Take this guy back to the farm faction. Four weeks. And block him on all channels. I don''t want to see or hear him for a while.''


    ''Yes, because you''re weak and a wimp! The women have already completely softened you up!''


    ''Eight weeks,'' said Mink with icy calm, ''and every time you say another word, I''ll add another eight weeks.''


    While security removed the angry Russian, who was raging with anger, Mink first needed a coffee. The Dude joined him. ''How did they put up with that bloke on the 656?''


    ''Not at all! That''s why he''s with us now!''


    ''And who''s responsible for him being here?''


    They both looked at each other. Then they shouted in unison: ''Marzzzz!!!''


    Even the coffee and the grumbling didn''t help in the end, as Mink realised from his ever-decreasing mood.


    This complaints management was incredibly exhausting. Every front was easier! He thought about who he could delegate this to in future. He already had the feeling that his head was bursting.


    He had just sat down at his table in the lounge again when a fanfare sounded from outside.


    The Dude looked out. ''State visit!''


    Mink almost choked. ''Who on earth is that?''


    ''I don''t know! Do we have a red carpet or something?''


    ''I don''t know, I don''t think so. I never cared for all the pomp and circumstance.''


    ''Hm, maybe we can at least have a few people form a trellis or something, I''ll see...''


    ''Could you please open the second gate?'' shouted a shrill voice outside the entrance hall, ''We can''t get through!''


    Mink and the Dude hurried into the entrance hall, where several Thunder brothers were just heaving open the second door.


    As soon as this was done, four palanquin bearers carried in a large golden palanquin and carefully set it down in the centre of the hall. And Lil Arrow emerged from the palanquin with a corpse-bitter expression, clutching his golden cloak and holding his head stiffly so that his wig wouldn''t slip.


    He cast a sombre glance round and then tilted his head slightly in Mink''s direction. ''I salute you, King of the Bracket. Is there somewhere we can talk undisturbed?''


    Mink pointed silently at the door to the parlour. Lil Arrow looked at the cardboard sign with raised eyebrows, but then entered the room and took a seat opposite Mink.


    ''What can I do for you?'' Mink asked his unexpected visitor politely - after all, he was a professional.


    Lil Arrow pursed his powdered lips. ''I want to complain. I hear you''re giving us the chance today.''


    Mink nodded, cursing himself. He''d best burn that damn book on good leadership tonight.


    ''Do you want your right hand man back? That DemonAngel or whatever it''s called?''


    Lil Arrow''s nose twitched. ''No. I don''t need my right hand anymore.''


    ''Do you want me to chop off your left hand as well?'' Mink replied calmly.


    ''I''m serious!''


    ''I didn''t mean it as a joke either.''


    Lil Arrow''s eyebrows shot up. He hastily hid both hands under his cloak. ''Well - I''m glad you see the world with the same seriousness I do. I have a serious complaint to make.''


    Mink gestured for his visitor to continue speaking.


    ''You are the king of this GW bracket,'' Lil Arrow continued, ''still uncrowned, but soon to be crowned. So it''s your job to deal with lawbreaking and inappropriate behaviour from all the factions here on the map.''


    Mink pondered. Was that really his job? He had little desire to play police here. What on earth did his visitor expect him to do?


    ''I think,'' Lil Arrow emphasised every single word, ''that offences against the seriousness of this game in particular should be severely punished. Players who make fun of others and do so on a large scale should be banned completely. And a set of rules should be issued that makes this very clear once again.''


    The merry-go-round in Mink''s head spun faster.


    ''Er...''


    ''''''Er'' is not an answer to my request,'' Lil Arrow huffed. ''I have a serious problem here, especially with the 656, but unfortunately also with a lot of your people. They shout at each other through the windows all day, make stupid jokes, think it''s all terribly funny and get on my last nerve. They attack with Lupo and definitely have no idea about the game and make no effort at all. That''s a lack of respect for the opponent. I''m a serious player and I demand...''


    ''I''ll take care of your request,'' Mink replied hastily, his merry-go-round threatening to derail in his head, ''I promise you. In all seriousness, however, it will take some time to prepare, so I would like to ask you to return to your castle with the necessary seriousness. We will be in touch.''


    Satisfied, Lil Arrow left the parlour. At last someone had understood him! At last someone had listened to him!


    He even forgave his palanquin bearers for getting caught on the upper door frame as they left the castle, causing their boss''s wig to fall off his head and give him a severe bruise.


    The king had taken him seriously! That easily outweighed everything else.


    _____________________________________________________


    Mink dropped back into his seat, exhausted. It was an imposition! This complaints office had been the stupidest idea of the century. He would manage one or two more complainants at most, then he urgently needed a break.


    ''Next, please,'' he called out, exhausted, and was very surprised to see the Dude enter the room next. ''You???''


    His friend sat down opposite him and made a serious face. ''I want to complain...''


    ''Not you too! What''s going on today? What is it with you?''


    Thunder Dude sighed.


    ''Yikesy... she hardly bullies me at all anymore. She has almost no time for me anymore.''


    Mink thought. He realised that Yikesy hadn''t really bullied him for quite some time either.


    ''Damn, bro - we need Yikesy! I used to get upset when she bullied me, but now I miss it!''


    ''I agree with you. What should we do?''


    The king snapped his fingers. ''Got it, we''ll tell her she needs to bully us more again. And also get us a second Yikesy. To relieve and support the first one.''


    The Dude''s eyes widened. ''And where am I supposed to get that, bro?''


    ''Oh, don''t be like that. You''ll find some evil old hag somewhere. Get her here and hire her and everything will be perfect again.''


    The Dude nodded. ''That''s the perfect solution. I''ll get to work right away.''


    The Dude left the room much more satisfied than before.


    One last complainant was supposed to be waiting outside.


    Mink wondered whether he could manage this one, but then he was wheeled in: Lipsyte in his wheelchair! He wasn''t quite in the room before he started shouting: ''I want to complain! These are impossible conditions here! I stood in the storeroom for two days screaming for help until someone finally heard me, this is unbelievable, I''m your brother and you treat me like this, and one of you has eaten my squirrels, you should be ashamed of yourselves, as soon as I can use my arms and legs again I''ll burn you all...''


    Mink fled from the parlour, ran outside into the demonstration of the cats and the Thunder brothers, who were still chanting ''Burn everything!'' and were now beating each other with their banners and placards out of sheer boredom, hurried up the stairs and locked himself in his room.


    The first thing he did there was to grab the book on good leadership and put it at the very back of the shelf with the ''Legends''. He would never touch this devil''s work again! Without question, there were books that were very dangerous, and this one was undoubtedly one of them!

 The return of the Bracket King

    ''Yoo-hoo, it''s dear Uncle Mink! Anyone at home? Why don''t you put the bubble down?''


    Lady Evelyne held her cake bowl tightly from the inside. ''No! I suppose you''d like that. Out of principle and sadism: No!''


    ''Please!'' it pleaded outside.


    ''You''ve learnt something, Mr Invite-me! Still no!''


    ''Oh dear!'' moaned Mink and knocked on the next one.


    Except for a few stalwart ones, who defiantly gave up the bubble even on days like the MD (surely there were some special rewards for doing so!), everyone kept the cake bowl on their heads.


    The leadership of the 656 sighed. There was a lot to do today. Mink was obviously bored, he''d been hanging around outside the front door all day begging to be let in. If someone was stupid enough to leave a window open, Mink would immediately throw a Molotov cocktail at him and set everything on fire. People were busy swearing, putting out fires and handing out cake bowls today.


    Lady Evelyne wondered whether she should tell Mink when her bubble would burst. After all, it was a time when she wouldn''t be at home and he would have a good chance of setting her house on fire. But then she decided against it. It was much more exciting to see who would be quicker. In the meantime, she imitated Kodaxx and turned Mink into a resource station.


    __________________________________________


    Meanwhile, several of the Thunder brothers were busy burning other members of the 656. It promised to be a fun MD! They had already burned six of the girls. It was then that Thunder Benexi spotted a seventh girl at the very back, in the shadows of the darkness, who seemed to be hiding anxiously. He felt the rising thrill and the wonderful anticipation in his veins. To be on the safe side, he checked that the little girl was not the Asian general in disguise from the other side - after all, he, the Benexi, was a professional and had been warned by the failures of his comrades! He didn''t want to be one of those who had to look for their missing T4 under Mink''s bed afterwards!


    But the girl had a different name. And the night was quiet and he was thirsty for blood. Benexi sucked in the air with relish and sent off his attack. Now...


    ''Perhaps I should croak loudly in future so that you can recognise me?''


    In the blackness of the night, Frogland pulled the hood off his head and waved politely and sarcastically at the horrified Thunder Benexi. The next moment Benexi''s troops burst against the general''s defence wall. No survivors, no more UB. Only the croaking of frogs by the dark pond could be heard in the silence of the night.


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    _______________________________________


    No one had warned DmenAce. He had been around too short a time to know how mean some people could be. All bullies, tyrants, psychopaths and crazy lunatics on the 656, Lil Arrow had always said! But DmenAce hadn''t believed him. He also felt strong and invulnerable with the RxW tag on his combat gear. A whole new attitude to life, very different from the PHx tag!


    That had to be celebrated on this MD. He crept through the darkness. There he saw the girl, a member of the 656, small and petite, crouching anxiously behind the small pond. There was nothing to hear, just the croaking of a lonely little frog.


    DmenAce grinned. The night was still young and his thirst for blood unquenched... to be with the victors at last, it was so wonderful... stifling a laugh with difficulty, he dispatched the attack.


    The girl rose from her crouched position and took off her hood. It was not a girl. Horror gripped DmenAce. His troops were shattered before his eyes. No survivors, no more UB.


    The Asian general in front of him smiled mockingly. ''This time,'' he said coldly, ''I croaked.''


    _______________________________________


    All hell broke loose in the GC. In contrast to 656, where the mood was as good as ever, several members of [AMd] from the city of 649 were obviously very unhappy with the way the MD was going and were venting their frustration. Poison Ivy went to great lengths to inform and educate people and explained the game''s procedures with absolute patience. However, as hardly anyone listened to her and even fewer wanted to understand her, she gave up at some point, exasperated.


    Slow Pain threatened to sic his fighting Chihuahuas on the 652, which would certainly cause terrible fear there. Godfather was determined to get rid of all his gold in the GC if he could just spam it enough. Progress was slow, the end was foreseeable: Nobody sensible wrote anything in the GC at the end of the day.


    __________________________________________


    Suddenly, a loud noise could be heard outside the 656 clan castle.


    Objects crashed against walls and windows, some window panes rattled, then the engines of several motorbikes roared and the perpetrators made a hasty escape.


    The Thunder brothers ran outside. Just in time to see several members of [aMD] flee. Slow Pain and Godfather turned round and gave them the middle finger.


    The Thunder brothers were left breathless. How dare these guys! And worse still - what had they done with their clan castle?


    The entire fa?ade had been pelted with bags of paint and rotten eggs. Some of the window panes had been broken by stones thrown at them. They had also painted obscene graffiti across the castle gate and left insulting slogans: ''You''re all piglets!'' ''Mink is a pig!'' and much worse.


    Candycane sighed: ''The behaviour of people these days is just awful. Has anyone spoken to the leadership of [aMD]? It can''t be that they condone something like this...''


    ''We should take punitive action against [aMD],'' Thunder Benexi declared gloomily, ''so that means as soon as I get my underboss back...''


    DmenAce also sighed sombrely: ''Yes, as soon as I get my underboss back too...''


    Yikesy leaned against the wall with his arms crossed: ''Yeah, what''s up with your UBs, guys? Do you want to talk about it?''


    Benexi and DmenAce remained stubbornly silent.


    ''Anyone who has nothing to say, get a bucket and scouring pad now. We have to get the fa?ade clean again before the paint dries. Come on guys!''


    __________________________________________


    ''I''ve got sweets!'' lured Mink, ''If you lift the bubble a tiny bit, I''ll show you and slip some under the frame.''


    ''Nice try, Uncle Mink!'' shouted the girls from 656, ''But no thanks!''


    ''Try Genny!'' giggled Nayanikaa, ''It might work with sweets. She''s almost got into the car with Marzzzz about it too.''


    ''Yeah, and she even secretly married Ghost in two minutes when he offered her sweets! He gave her a packet of Coco Pops!''


    Mink grinned and looked around. Maybe he had luck with little Genny, if not with the big Genny? Little girls are notoriously easy to persuade. He shouldered his bag of sweets as if he were Santa Claus himself and trudged off.

 The rising of RxR

    Mink waited impatiently for his partner Dude in the small meeting room of the 652''s clan castle. He had hurriedly sent for him after his spies had reported the latest news from the city of 656.


    When the Dude entered the room, Mink had already spread out all the reports on the table.


    ''Look at this, my friend - apparently there was a scandal in the faction chat on 656 last night.''


    The Dude bent over the reports with interest: ''What happened?''


    ''They apparently had another angry Russian there. The situation must have escalated completely last night. According to our spies'' reports, this second angry Russian smashed several vodka bottles on Ghost''s head and told him to go to hell. Ghost then kicked him out of the faction.''


    ''How - where - what? No way, bro, how many angry Russians do they still have there?''


    ''Well, a few are obviously still members there. We already have one...''


    ''Yeah, you transferred him to the farm faction yesterday! Have you forgotten?''


    ''No, that''s right. Do you think the second angry Russian will apply for a place with us?''


    ''Well, if he does, we should instruct the leadership of our Wings not to accept him!''


    ''Wait, brother. I mean... several vodka bottles smashed on Ghost''s head... that''s got something. Don''t you think so?''


    ''No, brother, you''re not seriously thinking about taking in the second angry Russian as well, are you?''


    Mink thought about it. Of course, the Dude was right in his objections. On the other hand, he really liked the bellicose fire and fury that these Russians radiated. They were exhausting partners to play with, yes. But they were perfectly usable at the front, because they were practically always boiling over with rage. You just had to make sure during the missions that they didn''t accidentally run in the wrong direction and attack your own people.


    The Dude growled: ''How are you going to stop these guys from rolling up your clan from front to back, huh? They''ll smash the vodka bottles on Beelerina''s head later. Or on mine!''


    Mink grinned. ''Nobody can smash vodka bottles on your head, my friend. Although you''re wearing that silly sun hat...''


    ''Hey, I''m on holiday!''


    ''... that silly sun hat that you''ve even put flowers on recently...''


    ''Hey, I thought I''d look a bit friendlier this way!''


    ''... flowers, but you are and always will be a warrior. I shouldn''t be surprised if there''s a steel plate inside your silly sun hat with flowers on it.''


    Mink rapped his knuckles on the Dude''s hat as a test and immediately pulled his hand back with a cry of pain. ''Ow, I knew I was right!''


    ''If you know, why are you testing it,'' the Dude replied impassively. ''Yes, and yes, you''re right. But again, how are you going to stop the whole faction from being thrown into chaos by angry Russians if you want to take them all in?''


    Mink thought, then snapped his fingers, ''I''ve got it! We''ll just start a new faction. Another wing. For the angry Russians we take over from the 656. They''ll all come in there. One faction more or less is no longer important. And we''ll name the faction... let me think...''


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    Mink snapped his fingers wildly with both hands and ran up and down, thinking. ''I''ve got it! We''re calling the new faction RxR. Road to Russian Rage. Well, what do you think?''


    The Dude couldn''t say anything more. Mink''s genius was once again unrivalled.


    Mink grinned triumphantly: ''Let Marzzzz know. Tell him to recruit the second angry Russian. And I''ll get the first angry Russian back from the farm faction. I want to see them smashing vodka bottles on Ghost''s head in twos, threes and fours! It''s going to be a party!''


    Giggling, Mink ran out of the meeting room.


    _____________________________________________


    The visitor who crept into the kitchen of the 656 clan castle late at night had to come in complete secrecy and must not be noticed by anyone. Lady Evelyne, who was still at the cooker baking cakes at that late hour, was promptly given a huge fright.


    ''You! Damn, I hope no one saw you. Ghost will kill you if he finds you!''


    Superhero, as the angry Russian number 2 was also known, nodded and quietly took a seat at the table. ''I''ve brought my new R4 with me, he''ll stand guard outside and let you know if anyone comes,'' he whispered.


    Lady Evelyne nodded too and briefly checked the corridor leading to the kitchen. Everything was empty and quiet. All the faction members were asleep.


    As quietly as possible, she pushed a plate of freshly baked cake and a cup of coffee towards her visitor. ''You look like you could do with an extra large slice of cake.''


    She then took a seat opposite Superhero and looked at him thoughtfully: ''What was wrong with you yesterday? Did you drink too much vodka? I mean, you''ve had the occasional blackout before, but this bad?''


    Superhero shook his head. ''It wasn''t that. There were other reasons.''


    ''And what''s going to happen to you now? Do you have a plan? Are you staying here, do you want to rejoin us, do you want to go to the 652?''


    The Russian laughed imperceptibly. ''I don''t want to go on the 652, even if everyone thinks I do. I haven''t given it any thought yet. I''ll probably stay in the city. It''s just Ghost that''s been bugging me. I really like Genny and have always respected her. And the others in the clan too. I always wanted to go and fight for Genny.''


    The lady sighed. ''You hit Ghost on the head with a bottle of vodka and told him to go to hell! What''s got into you?''


    ''Hey, I''d said I wanted to leave the clan, then I said goodbye to everyone nicely and politely, and suddenly Ghost kicks me. Of course I got angry!''


    ''Boy, Ghost kicked you AFTER you hit him over the head with the vodka bottle and swore at him. I was there!''


    ''Really, that was before? Hm, I can''t even remember...''


    ''And then you said it again! About hell and that he should lick something off his lips. The chat censored it. And from then on, the chat censored everything you said to Ghost. We only saw asterisks!''


    ''Yeah, funny, I thought it was the other way round...''


    ''You''ve probably had too much to drink after all! Jesus, I was once at a meeting with Russians and Poles, they drank vodka like mineral water, the bottle in one hand, the mobile phone in the other, and then they still managed to send the attacks with one hand, even though the bottle was almost empty... what''s wrong with you? After one sip of that stuff I''d be lying under the table unconscious! But this time it was probably too much for you too.''


    ''I don''t remember what I said,'' growled Superhero, ''I just remember that I was very angry. Then Ghost kicked me. And I got even angrier.''


    ''I know. You insulted him in the CC afterwards, and then again in the GC, and then there was the lip thing again, where I still don''t know what he''s supposed to lick his lips about. It must have been something very naughty.''


    Superhero groaned. ''Like I said, I don''t remember all the details...''


    ''What madness, really. Sometimes I think I''m just surrounded by city lunatics. You have to look after yourself, Ghost will zero you if he finds you.''


    ''I know he will.''


    ''It was really intense what you put him through yesterday.''


    ''But I only insulted him after he gave me a debuff! Of course I was angry then!''


    ''Yes, you could tell. But if you insult Ghost so violently at the same time, then he has to show who''s boss. It''s a man thing. Why do I have to explain this to you, I''m a woman!''


    Superhero had to press both hands over his mouth to stop himself laughing out loud. ''But admit it, it was kind of funny! Why is he freaking out like that?''


    ''Oh bloke! You really forced him to react! I just thought: men! Look, at first Ghost said goodbye to you nicely and said farewell. Then came one provocation after another from you. It''s logical that he has to show who the alpha wolf is, otherwise he''ll lose respect in the faction. ''


    ''But it was fun! Maybe I was rude, but it was fun.''


    ''The best thing would have been to send you both out the door for a bit, you could have punched each other in the face, then you could have both gone back in, had beer and vodka together and everything would have been fine again. Unfortunately, that wasn''t possible.''


    ''You''re probably right. You somehow know us all quite well.''


    ''Inevitably. After all, I write our chronicle. You know I have to mention these events too.''


    Superhero leaned back and relaxed. '' At last,'' was all he said.


    ''Excuse me?''


    ''At last. At last my character will appear in your works. So it was all worth it.''


    ''Wait a minute...'' Lady Evelyne took a deep breath. ''Are you telling me something, that was INTENTIONAL?''


    Superhero sighed: ''I didn''t appear in your novel before this event. I had to leave my mark in the annals.''


    Lady Evelyne clutched her head. ''That''s the urge for immortality, am I right?''


    The Russian nodded. ''Yes, that''s what it was.''


    ''Jesus, all you had to do was PM me! I tell everyone, all you have to do is PM me and I''ll see that you become a part of history! We are all this GW together. All of us together are the story. Everyone gets their piece of immortality.''


    ''Yeah, but you once said immortality has to be earned.'' Superhero straightened up straight as a die and took a stance, ''I''m a proud Russian. I didn''t want immortality as a gift, I wanted to earn it.''


    ''By smashing vodka bottles on Ghost''s head and telling him to go to hell?'' Lady Evelyne had to hold on to the edge of the table.


    ''Just like that,'' Superhero leant back and rummaged in his pocket. He then reverently pulled out a freshly printed copy of ''Legends'' and placed it on the table in front of him. ''That''s what it was about and that''s what it''s all about. Mink got a whole chapter just for himself yesterday... a solo hit... not just a small piece, but a big one.''


    Lady Evelyne nodded slowly. ''Okay. I have understood. An incredible performance and a well-deserved immortality. Sometimes I really think Lil Arrow is right, and there are only crazy people around here.''


    Superhero smiled and quietly scurried outside.


    Lady Evelyne cleared away the crockery thoughtfully. Somehow she had the feeling that someone had just played a big trick on her. And at some point, with a lot of thought, she would surely work out exactly how he had done it.

 Educational work

    ¡®Hurry Sis, hurry!¡¯ grumbled Lady Evelyne in the kitchen of the Clan Castle of 656, ¡¯that''s what I get to hear all day. And always followed by a long drawn-out ¡®tooooo late!¡¯. I''m still pressing the wrong buttons, and when I finally get the right ones, I''m too slow. And the end of the story: GW is soon over and I still have no skills.¡¯


    ¡®Yes, that''s the case,¡¯ sighed SGH, ¡¯our generals are really strict. They scold me all the time too.¡¯


    ¡®Ask me how I''m doing,¡¯ grumbled Chitadrita, who was sitting at the end of the table and looking particularly cross, ¡¯I was mistaken for a girl! But I''m a bloke! I put a photo on my photo wall so that people could see it!¡¯


    ¡®Yes, sorry,¡¯ moaned Lady Evelyne, ¡¯it was the name. It sounded kind of - feminine.¡¯


    ¡®I''m changing my name! I''m going to be called Angry Schnapps from now on!¡¯


    SGH giggled. ¡®Why Angry Schnapps?¡¯


    ¡®Because I''m angry! Besides, I''m Russian! So I''m an angry Russian! ...¡¯


    ¡®... Angry Russian number 3...¡¯ added Lady Evelyne from the cooker.


    ¡®... and I think to myself, alcohol is always good! So from now on I''m Angry Schnapps!¡¯


    SGH almost didn''t manage to formulate her question, she was laughing so hard. ¡®Okay, Angry Schnapps, and why are you so angry!¡¯


    ¡®That''s obvious! No bloke likes to be mistaken for a girl! Read the penultimate chapter, I supposedly sigh out of unrequited love when I think of Marzzzz!¡¯


    ¡®You do, because you''re gay!¡¯ roared the donkey from the 652 stable.


    ¡®Cry!¡¯ roared at least two of the Thunder brothers right behind him.


    ¡®Here we go again,¡¯ SGH growled and ripped open the window.


    Just in time to hear the chorus of three Thunder brothers at full volume. ¡®Yoo-hoo, 656! You have no skills and you''re finished!¡¯


    ¡®And you can''t even burn down one of our towers properly!¡¯ SGH yelled back.


    ¡®We only stopped because we didn''t feel like it anymore!¡¯


    ¡®Yes, that''s what I''d say if I were you!¡¯


    ¡®But we still have the strongest city and the most players! And your friend is as lame as a tortoise and totally incompetent!¡¯


    Lady Evelyne put the crockery down with a clink and stepped up to the window next to SGH. ¡®Give me a break, my dear. Because they mean me. Now it''s getting personal.¡¯ She took a deep breath and shouted: ¡®And you''re all replaceable!¡¯


    There was a brief silence over there. Then came an astonished ¡®Huh?¡¯


    ¡®Yes, you''re all replaceable! Soon every second person here will have T4. Accounts with T4 are a dime a dozen, but there''s only one chronicler! I''m the only one here with a unique selling point!¡¯


    There was still a stunned silence over there.


    ¡®But we have a lot of T4! Me too! And you have nothing! You''re totally worthless!¡¯ one of the Thunder brothers then shouted boldly.


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    ¡®My price on the transfer market is well above yours and above almost every T4 account here. It''s a classic case of supply and demand! Learn your bloody economics!¡¯


    Over there, there was now absolute silence.


    ¡®They only have one brain cell to share, the Dude once said,¡¯ SGH chuckled, ¡¯I think you need to give them a bit of time to think.¡¯


    Lady Evelyne tilted her head. ¡®Have I been too mean to them now?¡¯


    SGH was still giggling. ¡®Oh no, just keep hitting them hard, they deserve it! Is there any cake left?¡¯


    ¡®Tomorrow I''ll be nice to everyone again, it''s Valentine''s Day!¡¯ swore Lady Evelyne and cut SGH another piece of cake. ¡®Tomorrow!¡¯


    __________________________________________


    Someone else had resolved to be nice tomorrow, and that was Little Razor tp from 649. There had been a whole series of complaints against his players, who had behaved impossibly in the SC, and he had made a note of which sentences he wanted to write in the SC at the next opportunity.


    Educating his own people was incredibly annoying. Little Razor didn''t really see it as his job. But what could you do when you''ve already been written to by the leaders of other cities?


    Little Razor wasn''t quite sure what to do. Jacky had said that there was also an RL. This ominous RL! Some people here on the GW map didn''t even seem to know what it was. Little Razor concentrated on his notepad so that he could memorise all his sentences in time.


    __________________________________________


    Slow Pain was not fazed by his R5''s attempts to educate him. He was convinced that they were all dogs and piglets on the 652! You just had to tell them often enough and make them realise it. He thought this was an ingenious war tactic, alongside his specially trained fighting Chihuahuas. He was currently training four of them, and to make the whole thing even more fun, he had given them the names of his worst enemies: Mink, Thunder, Kodaxx and Poison Ivy. Ivy from the 652 was a particular annoyance for him. The problems this person had already caused him! But that was over now. The next time she came back, he would sic his fighting chihuahuas on her! And then - muhahahaha! He was really looking forward to it.


    ___________________________________________


    ¡®Why was the complaints office closed?¡¯ Lipsy grumbled, and would have stamped his foot angrily if he could have. Unfortunately, he was still in plaster on all four limbs and had to rely on one of his comrades-in-arms to push him around in a wheelchair.


    ¡®I want to complain! That bastard Muslim cat ate my squirrels!¡¯


    ¡®Careful, that''s discrimination, racism and speciesism!¡¯ growled Muslim Cat, ¡¯Be glad you''re my brother or you''d have my troops in your hut right now.¡¯


    ¡®Oh yeah? Be glad I''m completely plastered, otherwise you''d be dead now, you gluttonous monster! Those were my squirrels you ate! They were tame!¡¯


    ¡®Yeah, right, and that''s why they ran off. All right, brother.¡¯


    Kodaxx, who was walking past, rolled his eyes: ¡®Cry!¡¯


    Then he removed the cardboard sign saying ¡®Complaints Office¡¯ from the door of the parlour for good and threw it in the bin.


    _______________________________________


    ¡®This GW just sucks! And it''s all your fault!¡¯ shouted the 652.


    ¡®What''s wrong with them now? And why is it our fault that the GW sucks?¡¯ Impel wondered.


    ¡®Just ask them,¡¯ giggled SGH.


    Impel didn''t need to be told twice and opened the window. ¡®Why?¡¯ she shouted loudly in the direction of the 652.


    ¡®Because you were such weak opponents! We''re bored to death!¡¯


    ¡®It''s your own fault!¡¯ shouted Impel, ¡¯You poached all the players from everywhere else! You wanted to win this at all costs!¡¯


    ¡®Yes, but now we''re bored!¡¯


    ¡®Then you''ll just die of boredom and not in battle!¡¯


    ¡®You''re mean!¡¯


    ¡®Cry!¡¯


    ¡®Quiet!¡¯ came the agonised voice of Lil Arrow from the direction of 655, ¡¯Shut the fuck up! Everyone!¡¯


    ¡®No, no, no!¡¯ roared Little Razor from the tower of 649, glad to finally be able to say his carefully worded educational sentences without it affecting his own members, ¡¯We don''t talk to each other like that here! Not like that!¡¯


    Impel just managed to close the window before collapsing at the kitchen table laughing, while outside the 652, the 649 and the 655 took turns shouting at each other.


    ¡®I need more cake, Evelyne. There''s no other way to endure this. How much longer can GW go on?¡¯


    ¡®Eight days,¡¯ the lady replied, setting her plate down in front of Impel. ¡®Eight days of madness, then it''s over.¡¯


    ¡®And then?¡¯


    ¡®¡®''And then¡¯ is a good question,¡¯ SGH muttered, ¡¯because yes: what actually happens then? Is there a plan?¡¯


    ¡®We''ll see,¡¯ smiled the lady. ¡®In the meantime, let''s just keep playing. There will certainly be some reorganisation after GW.¡¯


    ¡®Do you think there will be a lot of people changing cities? I know some of them want to go to 652.¡¯


    Lady Evelyne nodded. ¡®That''s not surprising. The radiance is unbroken. They are the clear winners of GW.¡¯


    ¡®And doesn''t that worry you?¡¯


    ¡®Let''s put it this way, there''s a famous quote from Mongolia: the victor has many friends, the vanquished has good friends. It''s definitely worth thinking about.¡¯

 Massacre Day

    Lil Arrow was giggling like crazy. Today was his day, or rather, his night. Finally, he would get his revenge for all the humiliation, all the laughter and all the stupid jokes at his expense. He would show these clowns today!


    He had swapped his golden cloak for a black one so as not to be seen and had even done without his beloved powdered wig. He crept quietly through the night in his faction area. These ruthless tyrants had placed their towers everywhere just to annoy him and regularly called out to him from these towers, asking if he was now ready to exchange funny anecdotes. No, he still didn''t want to exchange funny anecdotes! Why didn''t anyone in this cursed bracket take into account that he wasn''t a gobshite like all the others? He had never experienced such a perverted bracket before, and he had already played a few worlds. But today he would prove to everyone that he could do more than powder his face and faint.


    Quietly, silently and secretly, he unpacked his material. And then Lil Arrow began to build a tower.


    __________________________________________________


    The morning of the massacre day on the 656 started like any other massacre day before: with fire.


    Lady Evelyne had already carefully prepared a cake bowl the day before, but she had had to cut holes in it so that the horns would fit through. The horns that she had grown during GW for some unknown reason irritated her. She had no idea where they came from. But now they were there, she had to deal with them. Consequently, every cake bowl and every hat now needed two holes in the right place.


    ¡°I hope Marzzzz doesn''t put Molotov cocktails in these gaps in the bowl,¡± moaned the lady at JH2000, ¡±it''s not quite ideal. I preferred a continuous bowl.¡±


    ¡°Why did you get horns anyway?¡± wondered JH2000.


    ¡°Don''t ask me that! I don''t know. Thunder says I''m the devil and just haven''t realized it yet. The neighbors are always so charming, really. And now they''ve set fire to everything again!¡±


    Lady Evelyne fixed the cake bowl as firmly as possible on her head. Others were less fortunate: their bowls fell off at the most impossible times, got lost or were never put on at all.


    And so several houses burned in the faction area.


    Because of all the fires, it took a long time to realize that something had changed in the situation high in the north. Something undetectable and unprecedented.


    ¡°They''ve got our building!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Phx cut us off, and some mini-clan of theirs has our building!¡±


    Everyone ran to the window and grabbed their binoculars. Sure enough, in a place where no one had stood before, there was now a tower. A fat tower. And from the top of the tower, a triumphant Lil Arrow waved down earnestly and measuredly.


    ¡°This can''t be true! He''s built a tower and cut us off from the building!¡±


    ¡°That he''s still alive at all!¡± JH2000 wondered, ¡±he''s never done anything all this time!¡±


    ¡°The fact that he''s still alive is probably our fault. We should have killed him straight away!¡± Shqiperi was angry, ¡±Boss, do you need me? I''ll take off this damn bubble and get rid of this guy!¡±


    ¡°Leave it!¡± advised the others, ¡±This looks like a damn trap. They''re just waiting for us to take off the bubbles and raid him. And then the 652 will be standing in the doorway.¡±


    Ghost grabbed his gear and set off. ¡°Leave him to me. It''ll be done in a minute. Stay under the bubble.¡±


    __________________________________________________


    Lucky Man really was a happy man today. It went wonderfully. He was all alone at the front of the 656, and several members had no bubble. He enthusiastically began to scout everything out, and his good mood immediately sank: the houses were all empty. Except for one. He was about to launch the attack when he noticed troop movements. Someone from outside was replacing the troops! He broke off the attack as quickly as possible and scouted again. Sure enough, there were now other troops in the hut! As quickly as possible, he put together a new attack with the right types of troops and sent it off. There! Troop movements again! He broke off again and cursed. This was no fun at all! The problem was certainly that he was all alone here. A little comradely support should help. It also made him feel much safer. When he called for help, DmenAce rushed over and was kind enough to reinforce him. But now! He scouted again. Damn! Someone had switched the troops in this damned hut again! Enraged, he set fire to two of the 656''s clan towers. There! Let them see how they got on with it!


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    Suddenly a red border popped up. Help! Someone was raiding him! He looked fearfully and hastily. Genny, that bitch, had started a raid on him! What to do... quickly now... in panic he released all the captured underbosses and jumped away. Let''s get out of here, quickly to safety! What a frustrating front!


    ¡°You see!¡± Lady Evelyne said triumphantly to her Drill Instructor Ace, setting down the binoculars, ¡±there are some people who are EVEN SLOWER and EVEN WORSE than me. I just wanted to say it.¡±


    __________________________________________


    On another front, Poison Ivy was fighting to be fought. With enticing shouts, she tried to get Slow Pain''s attention.


    ¡°Yoo-hoo, Slow Pain! Please come to me! I''d love to fight you! After all those posts in the SC, you''ve absolutely earned it!¡±


    Slow Pain ducked behind the protective wall of his 649 clan castle and didn''t make a sound. He wasn''t a suicide and didn''t see any point in putting himself in danger unnecessarily. But now it was definitely time for his secret weapon. He quietly bent down and reached for the collar of the little Chihuahua called Poison Ivy. With a flick of his wrist, he released the leash and set the animal free. ¡°Catch her!¡±


    The chihuahua, trained to fight, didn''t need to be told twice. Quick as lightning and so tiny that it was overlooked by everyone, it chased across the battlefield towards its target.


    Poison Ivy, meanwhile, had turned away in disappointment. No chance of Slow Pain coming out of his cover. Too bad, she had been so looking forward to MD and to smashing his face!


    She briefly felt a poke on her bottom and turned around in surprise. There was nothing behind her. Strange. Well, she was probably wrong. Relaxed, she made her way back to her own clan castle.


    _______________________________________________


    In the north, the 656 had quickly clarified the unclear situation with PHx. The building was back in safe hands, the connection to the faction territory had been re-established and Lil Arrow''s tower had been rendered harmless.


    Lil Arrow was not amused, but as his faction colleagues exerted considerable pressure to avoid a major conflict with the 656, he signaled his willingness to negotiate and announced his visit to the clan castle of the 656.


    Uproar broke out there over the preparations.


    ¡°A state visit! On the MD! As if anyone here has time for that!¡± grumbled MaKeDon. ¡°What are we offering the guest? Has anyone done the shopping?¡±


    ¡°There''s always cake in the house,¡± Impel consoled, ¡±and I can make mincemeat with bread. We''ll dress it up nicely and Lil Arrow will be taken care of.¡±


    ¡°I could make mincemeat out of Lil Arrow too,¡± growled Shqiperi, ¡±how about that? For that fucking tower build last night?¡±


    ¡°Behave yourselves, guys,¡± Lady Evelyne admonished, ¡°it''s a state visit after all. Do we have a red carpet or something?¡±


    ¡°I don''t know, I don''t think so, we''ve never needed anything like that before. It''s all a bit rustic and tomboyish here anyway...¡±


    MaKeDon waved his hand in the air: ¡°I''ve got it, we can ask at the 652! Lil Arrow recently paid a state visit to them too. Maybe they have a red carpet?¡±


    ¡°Good idea!¡±


    Everyone ran to the window.


    ¡°Hoo-hoo, 652! Do you have a red carpet you can borrow us?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°A red carpet!¡±


    ¡°Nope, we don''t have one! And if we had one, we wouldn''t borrow it to you!¡± came the angry reply. ¡°Because we don''t like you and you have no skills!¡±


    ¡°Idiots!¡± growled JH2000, ¡±You can''t expect anything else from them.¡±


    Over on the 652, however, there was eager whispering, and suddenly a loud voice spoke up: ¡°Maybe we do have a red carpet!¡±


    The girls on the 656 looked at each other, puzzled.


    JH2000 stepped to the window.


    ¡°Can we borrow your carpet for a state visit?¡±


    ¡°You''ll have to get it yourselves!¡± came the hopeful voice of a Thunder brother, ¡°We won''t give it to you voluntarily! Come and get it by force!¡±


    Now the hope was unmistakable.


    ¡°Dream on!¡± JH2000 yelled back, ¡±We decided long ago to let you die of boredom!¡±


    ¡°Please!¡± whined the next door, ¡±There are only a few of us here and the carpet is right in the anteroom next to the front door. You can get it very quickly, but please attack us at least once so that there''s a bit of action! We''re all alone here in the middle!¡±


    The voice became begging.


    ¡°No! And it''s your own fault!¡± roared JH2000 and slammed the window shut.


    ¡°Applied sadism. I learned it here,¡± she explained to the other girls with a smile. ¡°Let''s see if I grow horns from it too.¡±


    _____________________________________________


    Poison Ivy had now arrived home and was just about to drop into an armchair in the entrance hall when several lads shouted ¡°Stop!¡± and waved their arms. She stopped in surprise. ¡°What is it, guys?¡±


    ¡°There''s something on your butt!¡± informed Kodaxx her, who had stepped up behind her.


    ¡°What?¡± Ivy contorted herself and tried to look back over her shoulder, but had no chance because of her long red hair and the green ivy vines she''d woven into it for decoration.


    ¡°Careful! Hold still or you''ll hurt it. It bit into your butt... but the pants from the battlesuit are too tight for its little teeth. Nothing got through.¡±


    ¡°What the hell are you talking about!¡± cursed Ivy.


    Kodaxx had bent down and was fiddling with Ivy.


    ¡°Oh, you''re a sweetie, you''re a real sweetie!¡± he whispered tenderly.


    Ivy snorted indignantly. ¡°Are you talking about my ass, you pervert, or what? - I know I have a sweet ass, but keep your hands off it!¡±


    ¡°Got it already!¡± Kodaxx straightened up, the little Chihuahua in his arms. ¡°Look, there''s a name tag on its collar - it''s called just like you!¡±


    ¡°That must be one of Slow Pains battle chihuahuas!¡± exclaimed Poison Ivy in amazement, ¡±He set him on me on the battlefield and I didn''t even realize it! What are we going to do with it now?¡±


    ¡°I want it!¡± roared Lipsyte from his wheelchair, ¡°as a replacement for my squirrels! It''s just the right size!¡±


    ¡°Tz, but it''s got my name on it!¡± declared Poison Ivy snippily, ¡±I''m not giving it away!¡±


    ¡°Hey!¡± scolded Lipsyte, ¡±I wanted that one!¡±


    Kodaxx just rolled his eyes. ¡°Cry!¡±

 Hunting scenes with vodka bottle boost

    "Give me R5! Or at least give me R4! You sissy, then I''ll finally turn this effeminate clan here into a real force of men that''s worth a damn!"


    The shouting was deafening. The Dude, who had just entered the entrance hall with Marzzzz, just managed to jump back, otherwise he would have been run over by Mink.


    Mink ran as if hell itself was after him. That wasn''t the case, but something else was after him, namely the angry Russian number 1, who was wildly waving a vodka bottle in his hand, which he clearly wanted to smash on the king''s head, and kept shouting that he should give him R5. Mink was on the run, hooks swinging, the furious Russian always close behind him. The Thunder brothers had taken their seats on the sofas that lined the walls of the entrance hall, stacks of gold coins in front of them, and the bookies were doing the very best business. Someone had numbered the eight doors leading off the entrance hall with slips of paper. Mink had just fled through door number 3, pursued by the loudly bellowing Russian, only to storm back into the hall through door number 8 shortly afterwards, still pursued by the loudly bellowing Russian. The Thunder brothers, who had correctly placed their bets on "3 - 8", were roaring with triumph and pocketing their winnings, while the bookies immediately fixed the new bets.


    "Damn you guys," shouted Mink, "somebody help me!"


    "Where can you place bets here?" inquired Marzzzz with interest.


    "Thunder Bun is the chief bookmaker, the best place is with him," Josi, who was standing next to him, informed him obligingly and friendly as always.


    "What the fuck," roared the running Mink, "you''re my brothers, you idiots!"


    "Mink! Mink! Mink!" the Thunder brothers on the left sofa cheered enthusiastically in response to their boss and formed a la-ola wave.


    "An-gry Russ-ian, an-gry Russ-ian!" chanted the Thunder brothers on the right sofa as they cheered on the angry Russian and threw a few beer bottles at their colleagues on the left sofa. It was a football field atmosphere.


    Mink raced out through door number 1 and shortly afterwards came back in through door number 5.


    The successful winners with the bet on "1 - 5" were roaring loudly and pocketing their winnings.


    The Dude felt compelled to intervene. "What''s going on here, guys? Why isn''t the Russian in the farm faction? And why is he chasing Mink with a vodka bottle?"


    Josi giggled. "Someone - I won''t tell you who now - had a brilliant idea. That other angry guy in 656 smashed a vodka bottle on Ghost''s head a few days ago and called him a lot of names. Now someone has started a rumor that Ghost is thinking about handing the guy the R5, they told our angry Russian and let him out of the penal colony. It didn''t take five minutes before he was here. And now there''s finally some fun and action here! You have to understand, we''re just bored as shit here, alone in the middle, with no opponents." Josi laughed enthusiastically and shouted to the bookie: "6 - 8!"


    "Rien ne va plus!" shouted the bookies, "nothing works anymore! Attention - countdown is running!" Mink ran past, screaming. "Heeeellllllpppppp!"


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    "Cry!" yelled Kodaxx, "Please bro, run out through the 2! That''s what I was betting on!"


    Mink couldn''t hear or coordinate anything in the chaos. He disappeared through number 4. The Russian shouting: "Give me R5 and I''ll show you how to run a clan properly! This womanizing here will stop! Give me R5!" first became quieter and then louder again. Door number 7 burst open and they both ran back in.


    "Yeah, give me an R!" roared the Thunder brothers on the left sofa. "R!" yelled the boys on the right sofa. "Give me an x!" "x!" "Give me an R!" "R!" And "RxR! RxR!" both sides shouted together in chorus.


    The Dude shook his head in bewilderment. "This madness must come to an end. How much longer can this go on?"


    "Five days," Marzzzz informed him, "you want me to trip this guy up?"


    "Who, Mink or the angry Russian?"


    "You''re right, I''ll get the wrong guy later!".


    "Exactly brother, it would be a shame if you got the Russian."


    ___________________________________________


    Hand holding, ThunDer Cock and Thunder Horny stepped out of the small dark corridor into the hall. As usual, ThunDer Cock was wearing a pink bathrobe and nothing else. Both of them had been having a relaxing time in the hot tub again and were actually about to check on their comrades when they entered the chaos.


    "Heeeeeellllllpppppp!" screamed the Mink running past, pursued by the vodka-bottle-swilling Russian. Cock and Horny grasped the situation immediately. They gave each other a quick glance and then took up the chase.


    The Thunder brothers'' audience completely freaked out. This just got better and better! They jumped on sofas and chairs and cheered on the two new participants in the race even more enthusiastically than the first.


    "My money''s on Horny!" "My money''s on Cock!" "100 on Horny!" "I''m going all-in on Cock!" "Horny!" "Cock!"


    _______________________________________________


    The screaming was so loud that it could be heard all the way to the neighbors. In the kitchen of the 656 clan castle, the girls raised their heads and listened.


    "What are they shouting about again?"


    "Definitely that we don''t have skills," SGH mumbled with a mouthful of cake.


    KittySVG stood up and opened the window. Now the shouts were clearer.


    "Hor-ny cock! Hor-ny cock!"


    "Yuck!" the girls shrieked in horror.


    "What kind of disgusting new pick-up line is that," Kitty said indignantly, "They''ll end up sending photos!"


    "Yuck yuck!" screeched the girls in even more horror.


    "Close the window," advised SGH, "and we should lock all the doors. Five more days and they''ll go completely mad. Let''s make sure none of these deranged people can get in here."


    ________________________________________________


    The hunting scenes in the entrance hall had taken on bombastic dimensions. The screaming Mink in front, the angry Russian behind him, and Horny and Cock behind them. The atmosphere could not have been more exuberant.


    Mink thought several times that his last hour had come. He had narrowly escaped the furious Russian a few times, but he wouldn''t be able to hold out here much longer. He had just turned into the entrance hall again and was about to leave through the door at the opposite end when it was suddenly opened from the other side.


    An unsuspecting Thunder Benexi pushed in an unsuspecting Lipsythe in his wheelchair.


    Mink closed his eyes and took a mighty leap. With the last of his strength, he managed to leap over the two of them and roll onto the floor behind them. Saved! He was safe!


    The angry Russian was not so lucky. The Mink running ahead had blocked his view of the approaching obstacle. And so he ran at full speed into Lipsy''s wheelchair, with which Horny and Cock collided after him. And then there was - silence.


    _________________________________________________


    "It''s stopped," said SGH with relief.


    "Really, their chat-up lines are getting more and more obscene!" sighed Kitty, "don''t they have any leadership to deal with this?"


    "Apparently not," grumbled SGH, "although I find it strange that Marzzzz allows it."


    Liliana Biera, who was sitting at the table typing on her cell phone, looked up in astonishment: "Who the hell is Marzzzz?"


    The other girls stared at Lili in surprise. "You don''t know who Marzzzz is?"


    "Nope, I don''t know him. Is he important? I only know important people. Ghost, for example."


    Kitty giggled. "I like your attitude."


    _______________________________________________


    Thunder Benexi had picked Lipsythe up from the hospital and was pushing him in his wheelchair into the now quiet and tidy entrance hall.


    Several Thunder brothers looked up as the two entered.


    One cleared his throat. "Lipsy, brother, you don''t look well."


    Lipsythe bit his lips, which was about the only thing he could do. His nose was adorned with a huge band-aid.


    The corners of the Thunder brother''s mouth twitched, and he tried desperately to keep a serious and sympathetic face. "Both arms broken, both legs broken, and now, after the latest collision, a broken nose too?"


    "If one of you makes stupid jokes, I''ll kill him. I swear to you. As soon as I''m out of all this plaster and bandages, I''ll kill you all. That''s not a threat, that''s a promise."

 The mother of it all

    "Are you completely deranged? Have you lost your mind? What were you thinking?" roared DmenAce. He was furious with his old friend DJRock, whom he knew from his days in City 655 and actually wanted to support.


    DJRock staggered contritely from one foot to the other. "It wasn''t intentional, Ace! It''s a friend of mine, sort of."


    "She''s one of HxG''s! I almost fell over in shock when that faction tag suddenly popped up in our internal chat!"


    "You could tell," Lil Snoopppps, who had kept his mouth shut until then, intervened, "You deleted the whole chat room straight away." The fourth participant in the secret chat, a member of RxD, didn''t say anything. The group was still in shock.


    "She couldn''t read anything so quickly," DJRock objected, "I thought it was a good idea. I mean, she''s all right!"


    "Nobody''s alright here," fumed DmenAce, "it''s a war game! HxG is tearing apart all the factions on 655 right now, and you''re adding an R4 of them to our chat! You''re really beyond help!"


    "Wait, wait, at least with Genny it''s clear, I gave her a good talking to today!"


    "Yes, I''ve read it. You want to fuck her mother. Not so clever, in my opinion. I mean, what''s the point, why are you writing her something like that?"


    "Because she deserves it, the bitch!"


    "Oh man," Lil Snoopppps groaned, "I don''t think that''s great either. How does that work? Like you can''t behave yourself. Or like you''re aggressive by nature. I mean, you write something like that about her mother and shortly afterwards..."


    "Shortly after that, Lady Evelyne is in our chat room," DmenAce growled. "What timing!"


    "Wait a minute, bro," Lil Snoopppps shouted in horror, "are you saying Lady Evelyne is Genny''s mother?"


    "Waaaaaaas?" DmenAce jumped up in horror, "why am I only finding out now! The one who writes the books is Genny''s mother? OMG!"


    "She''s not Genny''s mother... at least I don''t think so..." muttered DJRock, "or maybe she is?"


    "If she is, this is all a thousand times more embarrassing," Lil Snoopppps groaned, "I''ll sort it out. No one here is doing anything until this is cleared up!"


    ______________________________________________


    In the clan castle of the 652, the Thunder brothers were terribly bored. The fun race with the bets was over, Mink had been terribly angry and had ordered a round of punishment, there was nothing going on with Lipsy, and they were once again squatting all alone in the middle of the map. Any attempts to persuade any of the other cities to simply attack or at least build a path in the direction of the center failed. The leaders of the other cities tapped their foreheads, said mean things like: "Dream on!" or "Cry!", and then went their own ways.


    Consequently, they thought feverishly about what else they could do.


    "We could organize a game night and invite the others," Thunder Bun suggested. "With board games or pen and paper and stuff like that. Very traditional."


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    "Or a pizza night. We could bake pizza together! That would be fun."


    "I don''t want to bake pizza with Shiva!" groaned Devi.


    "It doesn''t have to be pizza," Josi scolded, "be a bit imaginative, guys. We could have a beer night. Then CaptnZaxpool will definitely come!"


    "Vodka evening! Then all the Russians will come!"


    "I don''t think Mink can handle another Russian. I think Mink has had enough of Russians for ever. The only Russian he can''t get rid of is Yikesy."


    "Anyway, we should have some kind of party. To celebrate our victory and the conquest of the government building. Don''t you think?"


    Josi tilted her head. "Well, I think it''s a great idea. A final party for everyone. We''ll write invitations and send them to all the other cities. We should definitely do that!"


    "And what do we do if they don''t come?" Thunder Benexi asked anxiously, "I mean - maybe they don''t like us anymore? Could be, right?"


    "We''ll just have to offer something special! Maybe a bit more than board games and pizza!"


    "Cake!"


    "Nah, they already do that in 656. Let''s think about it, guys. Something really special..."


    "I''ve got it!" shouted loudly from the direction of the door. The Dude had entered unnoticed and overheard the rest of the conversation. He clapped his hands. "We''re singing. We''ll form a band and give a concert to which we''ll invite everyone. And we''ll call the band - the Thunder Brothers!"


    ____________________________________________________


    "Please what?" Lady Evelyne couldn''t believe it.


    Genny was standing with her in the kitchen and was gasping with laughter.


    "You''re supposed to be my mother! Lil Snoopppps just texted me about it! They all think you''re my mom now because of the timing earlier!"


    "This server is getting crazier and crazier," moaned Lady Evelyne, "it''s really time this GW was over. First this DJRock drags me into a chatroom this morning that I don''t even want to be in. Then DmenAce deletes the chatroom ten seconds later. I don''t understand why I was in there, nor why everything is suddenly gone. So now I''m your mother."


    Genny held onto the table and laughed like crazy. She couldn''t say anything.


    "Wait a minute," Lady Evelyne murmured, "if I''m your mother, then Ghost is my son-in-law. In that case, my dear," she threw up her arms angrily, "I''m much, much angrier than ever that I wasn''t invited to the wedding! Does he not like me? I will haunt him, er, visit him immediately, as a loving mother-in-law!"


    _____________________________________________


    The Thunder Brothers'' first vocal rehearsal turned out to be an absolute disaster. Thunder Yuber couldn''t hold a note, Thunder Jack couldn''t make a sound at all and Thunder Bun definitely couldn''t sing.


    The Dude, who was trying to lead the whole thing, almost despaired.


    "So everyone who can sing, please stand in the front row. Everyone else to the back."


    "No, Raid Leader in the front row!" the Thunder brothers groaned, "it''s always been like this!"


    "You idiots, now it''s about singing! We''re not doing a raid now!"


    "Why not?" complained Thunder Loki, "I''d rather do a raid than sing!"


    "Me too!" he was immediately supported by Thunder Boo, "let''s raid instead!"


    "Yeah, burn everything!" roared the others enthusiastically.


    "Quiet!" roared the Dude, "you''re all being incredibly embarrassing again. Now let''s do something different. Josi''s idea with the GW final party is great, and it''s true that we have to offer something special. You''ve been allowed to raid and burn everything for weeks now. Now it''s time to fucking sing!"


    "Blah blah blah," Thunder Horny muttered angrily in the back row, "singing, singing, singing, what a load of shit. If this goes on, I''m changing cities!"


    The Dude tapped on the podium with the conductor''s baton. "Quiet back there! Here we go! I''m counting the beat... 1 - 2 - 3 - 4..."


    And with a horrible discordant sound and at least five wrong cues, the Thunder Brothers'' choir rehearsal continued.


    _________________________________________________


    "Why didn''t you tell us right away that you''re Genny''s mother?" said Jhormann 1, offended and giving Lady Evelyne a dirty look.


    "I''m not Genny''s mother, dammit! That''s a malicious rumor! I don''t know who started it."


    "But you could be Genny''s mother," grumbled Jhormann 2, "after all, you two have been playing together for a long time!"


    "Oh boy guys. These discussions make as much sense as asking how many of you there actually are. When I first met you, you were quadruplets. Now you''re already septuplets!"


    "Actually, we''re ninthlings!" said Jhormann 5 proudly, "but the other two are still in other cities. The seven of us are here now. Because everywhere else was boring."


    "That''s right. It was most boring on the 652," explained Jhormann 1, "that''s why we came back. At least something happens here, and it''s always fun!"


    "You just want to set things on fire anyway!" Lady Evelyne pushed the next baking tray into the oven with a resounding bang.


    "Not necessarily! Did you know they''ve come up with something new on the 652?"


    "Nah, what is it?"


    "They''ve formed a band and now want to sing. That got us thinking - we could actually sing too!"


    Lady Evelyne almost dropped the bowl of cake. "You want to WHAT?"


    "Singing! Why not! A singing battle. You founded the Basher Boys back then. So we thought a competition like this, the Basher Boys against the Thunder Brothers, that could be extremely funny!"


    "And whoever loses," roared Jhormann 7, "has to be the opening act for the other band at the closing party!"


    Lady Evelyne carefully placed a plate of cake in front of each Jhormann.


    "Guys, you must be EXTREMELY bored right now."


    The kitchen door opened a little and Impel poked her head in. "Evelyne - tell me - is it true that you''re Genny''s mother?"

 The return of the complaints office

    "I want to complain!"


    Thunder looked up to find himself facing an angry Benexi, who had just sat down in the chair on the other side of his desk.


    "The complaints office is closed! Mink ain''t doing it no more!" growled the Dude, thinking that was the end of the matter. Benexi leaned back elegantly, opened the door to the study a little and pointed to the cardboard sign that was clearly visible on the outside: Complaints Office.


    The Dude gasped. "Who took this sign out of the trash and stuck it on my door?"


    Benexi grinned.


    The Dude sighed.


    "Okay, then talk. I know when I''ve lost. What''s the matter, do you need more litter boxes?"


    "There''s nothing wrong with the litter boxes!"


    "Do you need more cat food that''s halal?"


    "There''s nothing wrong with the cat food!"


    "Then what do you want?"


    Benexi curled his lips. "We don''t want to sing!"


    The Dude bit his lips. "Listen, guys, we''ve decided that we''re going to sing..."


    "...YOU decided we''re gonna sing..."


    "...We want to offer something special on the last day, and I hear the neighbors are putting on a band too, so we can even have a singing contest then..."


    "...but we still don''t want to sing!"


    "... and Josi said we should be friendly and human now. Otherwise no one will like us! Look, I even put cherry blossoms on my hat and my name badge, and the book on good leadership says that you have to be empathetic and approachable..."


    "...But you are not empathetic and approachable..."


    "...and that''s why we''re singing now, damn it! Otherwise I''ll have you all burned to death!"


    Benexi leaned back. "But we still don''t want to sing. And if this dictatorial approach continues, we''ll demand a union. By the way, we don''t get a salary and have no regulated working and rest times. None of our contracts say that we have to sing. We therefore need a representative body to represent our interests to the management."


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    The Dude was beginning to understand why Mink had recently declared that he would prefer to leave all this madness behind and let someone else take the crown of this cursed bracket. It felt like being in the wrong movie altogether.


    "Listen, guys. Tomorrow is the last day. We want to have a cool closing party, okay? Now why don''t you just do something for ONCE that doesn''t involve raiding, burning, beating to death and bawling!"


    Benexi pursed his lips. "We''re alone in the middle and alone at the closing party, please get that. No one will come. We don''t want to sing too. If we''re lucky, we''ll get a few greeting cards. That''s all we''ll get."


    He gave the Dude another mocking look and then left him alone in his office with his thoughts.


    ___________________________________________________


    Poison Ivy was playing with her puppy, whom she had named Sweet Karma. She was totally in love with the little creature and had already taught him to give paws, do manly things and roll around on the floor.


    "Hey!" it yelled outside from 649, "when do I get my attack dog back?"


    Ivy tore open the window. "Not at all! He''s mine now! My name was on a tag on its collar, so it''s mine! What''s more, it''s not a attack dog, it''s a really cute little cutie!"


    "You dog thief!"


    "Exactly!" it roared approvingly from the direction of the 653, "she''s not just a dog thief, she''s a member thief! She stole all my fighters!"


    "Cry!" scolded Kodaxx, who had stepped up to Ivy''s side, "Shall I show you the proof of how you begged to enter here? Shall I, yes? I have it all in writing!"


    "You are the very worst!" it shouted from the clan castle of the 653, "those were private, personal conversations! You should be ashamed of yourselves and beg forgiveness for what you did!"


    "Cry!" roared Ivy now, "I won''t bow down to a man, I''d rather put my high heel on his neck!"


    "Please carry on!" came from the direction of 654, "It''s great fun listening to you! At last there''s some entertainment here!"


    "But I''m not interested!" neighed the donkey from the stable, "You''re all gay anyway!"


    ________________________________________________


    "We could let Yikesy run RxR. What do you think, is that a good idea? Yikesy in charge of the angry Russians. She''ll be able to handle them. Besides, we''ll be rid of Yikesy in RxW then."


    Mink thought. The hunting attack of angry Russian number 1 was still in his bones. "And what are they doing then? On the front lines, I mean?"


    "They insult the enemy and throw vodka bottles at them. They''re good at that. At least it''s a good distraction for whatever else we have planned." The Dude grinned.


    "What else are you up to, bro?" Mink asked curiously.


    "Let me surprise you!"


    ______________________________________________


    Lady Evelyne was piling up the solicitation emails. There had been a lot of them recently, and they outbid each other in terms of what they wanted to give her if she changed cities. It was crazy and surreal at the same time: she knew she had little to offer for the game itself. Not even T4. And if she listened to Ace, according to him, she was lucky he didn''t scold her more than he already did. It was completely crazy what people were prepared to set her rating so damn high for!


    She still had to do the post tonight anyway and decided to answer everything in peace. Tomorrow was the last day of GW, and she had resolved to write to all the other cities again. After all, the SC would soon be deleted, and this was the last opportunity to send mail to everyone.


    SGH joined her in the kitchen.


    "Have you packed yet?"


    "Not yet. It feels weird after being here for so long."


    "I feel the same way. After all, this has almost become something of a home. I don''t know yet how I''ll feel when we''re back in the city."


    A sudden noise could be heard from outside.


    Yanto Corleone rushed into the kitchen.


    "They''re burning our faction towers and want to conquer our central building!"


    SGH jumped up. "Who?"


    "Well, who is! RxW! Damn, it''s the last day!"


    "Action to the end," muttered Lady Evelyne, "they probably just wanted to visit us again or something. They''re probably having a hard time saying goodbye too."


    She stood up and this time managed to take off her kitchen apron and apply new lipstick before the call to gather for the raid sounded from downstairs.


    "One last time!" shouted one of the generals. And Mr. Dave, as always: "If you''re late for the raid, you have to do push-ups! Without hands!"


    __________________________________________


    The Thunder brothers ran enthusiastically towards the central building. "Burn everything!" they roared, already looking to see which of their opponents they could set on fire.


    The Dude strolled after them at a distance, annoyed. He was still mourning the loss of his band, which he would have liked to have built up for longer. Benexi overtook him just before the building, turned to him briefly and said conciliatory: "We can sing while conquering!"


    "You''re all gay! And that''s the gayest thing I''ve ever heard!" brayed the donkey, who was jerking along behind the fighting party. He didn''t want to miss out on the last day either.


    "They''re sending cars!" jeered the Thunder brothers at the front.


    "Oh yeah, let''s send cars too!"


    "I''ve never sent cars before!"


    "If you send cars, you get kicked!"


    "But not today, it''s the last day!"


    "Yes, it is!"


    "No!"


    "Yes!"


    "Where can I complain here?"

 The one and only

    "Faster, faster!" The generals mercilessly drove the small group on. This time Ghost had taken the lead, Genny at his side, otherwise the escape resembled that memorable hasty departure from the former clan castle of the 656 when the 652 had attacked them in the night.


    Now, too, the attack had come quickly and unexpectedly. Behind the fleeing group, the entire 656 hive was ablaze. The fire burned meters high from the houses and the night sky was illuminated by flying sparks.


    Genny gasped beside her husband and needed his helping hand more often. He turned around from time to time to fire at potential pursuers.


    "This is such a fucking deja vu experience. This is such unbelievable shit. This can''t be happening!" Shqiperi cursed and ran, ran, ran. Zax had mutated back into a dwarf and stared back at the burning hive. "If those orcs think they can follow up again, I''ll show them what a dwarf can do! Let them come!"


    Impel buckled several times in her high heels, but bravely ran on.


    It had been such a nice evening. Together they had celebrated the merger with the newly arrived players from the 649. The eve of the last day of GW! There had been a big party at the CC with gold and presents, everyone had been relaxed and cheerful. They had even thought about how to congratulate the 652 in a nice way. And now this!


    "They''re crazy!" scolded SGH, "Just look who''s on fire! They''re all just sleeping players. It''s 2:00 am here. That''s so mean, showing up at this hour and burning our hive."


    Genny turned around with tears in her eyes. She had just been so happy to welcome her secretly beloved philosopher Vind Tr?uble Turf to her city as a new member and embrace him. And now this! Her heart was heavy. What had happened to the fun and light-hearted game at the beginning? Was this really the end?


    "It''s like back then. When we had to leave the first castle. Do you remember? It was exactly the same. Only we had the donkey with us then. Now we don''t even have the donkey," growled Big JC. "They even took it away from us! And I feel like I''m in a time warp!"


    "Is everyone there? Has anyone counted?" The group had arrived at a small hill from which they had a good view of the burning hive.


    Genny stared at the burning houses. Suddenly she began to scream. "Where is Evelyne? Where''s our lady?"


    "She must have gone to sleep," Zax said quietly, "the time... this is bedtime..."


    "You mean she''s down there in a burning house?" Genny''s voice almost cracked. "I have to go back. Let me go back. Let me fucking go!" And she tried to struggle against Ghost, who had to hold her down.


    "Can we save Evelyne with the commander skills?" asked Ghost quickly.


    "It''s no use," Barrel Seven cursed, "it won''t work on invalid faction territory. We''re cut off from the Stronghold."


    "They''re all on fire. Lady''s about to burn too. And on the last day!" shouted Genny.


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    There was a crash in the bushes next to her. And then, just like a hundred years before, the Lady stumbled out of the bushes and joined the group. "I''m right here. Everything''s fine."


    Genny threw herself into her friend''s arms and would have loved to cry. But she couldn''t - no one wanted to have to hear the shout of "Cry!" at that moment. So Genny remembered to be a strong woman and refrained from crying.


    "Oh my God, I''m so incredibly happy that you''re here! You look - a bit exhausted. How did you make it out? Have you woken up?"


    The lady did indeed look quite adventurous. Her dress was partially torn at the hem, the cake bowl on her head was askew and her hands were scuffed.


    "It was a damn close call. I''m afraid it''s never been this close," she sighed, "I was still writing the latest edition of Legends. I''d just finished the chapter when it was just before 2:00 am. It was supposed to come out today. Well, it''s a chapter they''ll never get to read... Luckily I didn''t translate it as well. Otherwise I would have been late. I wanted to go to bed and put on a cake bowl first, just in case... so I opened the door and everything outside and the whole corridor was on fire."


    Zax gritted his teeth and cursed quietly.


    The lady continued: "So I quickly went back into the room and then out through the window. Unfortunately, it was on the top floor. So I let myself down on a rope... well, you can see it on my hands. It wasn''t enough to put on the combat suit. I would have needed the gloves. Never mind. Anyway, I''m abseiling down through the window and there''s some *** from the 652 down there looking up my skirt and taking photos and sending them to me cheekily! Upskirting is forbidden! What a scumbag. Really."


    The lady snorted with anger. "As soon as I got downstairs, I put the cake bowl on and then, of course, the guy was gone. As always! But I can assure you, he''ll regret it bitterly. I''m sure he''ll show these damn upskirting photos to all his buddies now and and they''ll have a great time, just like they did with the photos of Genny.. Well, it is what it is. At least I''m not on fire and I''m not significantly injured."


    She cast a thoughtful glance down into the burning hive. "But honestly, what''s happening down there, none of the people who''ve made it this far deserve it."


    "Those bastards don''t dare come after us this time," Zax grumbled, "otherwise there''d be a dwarf here to teach them respect and decency!"


    "We have to keep going," Ghost urged, taking the lead again, "Come on now, further north. There''s another safe spot there."


    Genny stayed a little behind with the others.


    Impel mourned: "Now not even my little donkey is with us. It''s worse than the first time."


    "You''re so gay if you think I''m not here," it sounded from the bushes, and the next moment the donkey broke through the branches and stood next to them. "My little donkey!" Impel cried happily and wrapped her arms around his neck as if she never wanted to let him go. "Did you really think I would leave you alone? - You can sit on my back," said the donkey graciously, "otherwise you won''t get far in these shoes."


    "Come on now!" urged the lady, "we have to get out of here!"


    "This all sucks," SGH grumbled, "the whole game sucks. Just everything."


    "It''s a rich man''s game, dear, I''ve said that before. You''re either their entourage or their victim. Why do you think we''re their preferred front? - At this point, the game is really damn close to reality."


    One by one, the first of the burned joined the group, deranged, angry and unnerved, but otherwise neither resigned nor depressed.


    "I''m not rich," Liliana intervened, "and I''m playing this anyway."


    "I''m not rich either," Uncle Dumpy grinned, "so what? I''ve been burned for the third or fourth time. Then you just rebuild. It''s just a game."


    "I''m rich," smiled Gladyus, "because I have you as a faction."


    Genny and the Lady bit their lips and looked at each other for a moment.


    "That''s the nicest thing I''ve heard all day, Gladyus. I thank you for it," the Lady then said quietly.


    "I have no more troops and no more diamonds," sang Knight Silver, "but yo - ho - ho, a bottle of rum!"


    "Good cue. We should have a beer. Or vodka. By the way, there''s a hotel further north to conquer. I''m terribly tired, but I''m going to get it," roared Zax, "who''s coming with me?"


    "Me, colleague," smiled Lady Evelyne. "I''m right behind you."


    "As always, huh?"


    "Yes. As always."


    _______________________________________________


    Genny alone formed the end of the group, which was now making slower progress. She tried to sort out her thoughts. How incredibly much had happened in this GW!


    There was a rustling in the bushes next to her and she automatically reached for her weapon. A slender figure stumbled clumsily onto the path. It was the philosopher.


    "Genny! My Genny! Has something happened to you?"


    Genny stared at Vind. "You came all this way to check on me? In the middle of the night and through the fire?"


    "Yes! I''ll go to the ends of the earth for you, you know that! And I brought the others from the 649 with me too... if you have room, we''ll join right in and help you... oh Genny..."


    He stared at her.


    In the background, the flames leapt higher than the houses had ever stood, and the farmers tried to imitate the Thunder brothers, shouting along with them, "Burn them all!"


    "Genny... I''ve only ever loved you. And I don''t give a fuck that you''re married. I don''t give a fuck who makes fun of your photos. You''re the most amazing woman on this server. You''re the most beautiful, the bravest, the most gorgeous. You''re the only one I want and have ever wanted."


    And then Vind grabbed his Genny, pulled her into his arms and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

 Alone

    In the government building in the center of the map, there was a yawning emptiness. ¡°As expected,¡± Benexi grumbled.


    ¡°We should have sung,¡± Josi grumbled, ¡±then everyone would have come!¡±


    ¡°Yes, to make fun of us!¡±


    ¡°It doesn''t feel any better now!¡±


    Half-heartedly, a few of the Thunder brothers hung up some garlands. Two others rolled out the red carpet that the 656 had absolutely no intention of conquering.


    Although the members of the 652 factions had turned up in large numbers, they couldn''t quite fill the large hall of the government building. It seemed empty and somehow lonely.


    ¡°Great party!¡± cursed Lenebell, ¡±this is going to be boring as hell!¡±


    ¡°It''s been boring the whole time!¡± grumbled Africa. ¡°At least we had another good fight with the 656 yesterday, that was fun. But now we''re sitting there alone. That was an absolutely shitty GW!¡±


    ¡°And whose fault is it, eh?¡± Thunder Horny looked around briefly to see if anyone heard him. Then he leaned forward and whispered: ¡°It''s the management''s fault! First they prepare the GW this way. Then they carry it out like this. And at the end they even want us to sing! They''re all crazy!¡±


    ¡°If we move the chairs apart a little, you can''t see how empty it is.¡± Josi looked at the room critically. ¡°It''s making me kind of depressed today. It''s the closing party and now we''re in this kind of mood. All the other cities have ignored our invitation. It''s kind of sad. Just as sad that our time here is over.¡±


    Dude, who was standing on the ladder attaching a garland, said nothing.


    ________________________________________________


    Lady Evelyne sat alone in the kitchen and dealt with the mail. As expected, there was an awful lot to answer, a lot to comfort, a lot to motivate. And then there were the letters that had to get to the other cities on time.


    She pulled out the pink writing paper on which she had written the letter to Elsa what felt like half a century ago and then deposited it in the oven of the old clan castle.


    She pulled out eight sheets of writing paper. Eight letters for eight cities.


    Then she began with the first one.


    ¡°Dear enemies¡± - could it be written like that? She thought about it. It sounded strange. She started again. ¡°Dear members of the 652¡± - that sounded better. Somehow friendlier. In her book on good leadership, which she had lost during her escape from the old clan castle, it had been pointed out several times that communication should be non-violent and without aggression. So this form of address was better.


    ¡°Dear members of the 652, congratulations on your victory in this GW and in this bracket! Some say that you didn''t deserve to win because you don''t have enough fighting skills and simply poached members from other cities, especially the financially strong ones. That''s unfair because it misses the point. Yes, you have poached players from other cities and thus created an enormous mass. But that is also an achievement. It''s always an achievement to increase the appeal and magnetism of your own city to such an extent that it develops enough attraction for the other players to come and - this is also relevant - to stay! So it''s not just mass, there''s more to it than that. A successful mix of tactics, clever forward planning, very good teamwork in leadership and charm to become irresistible. The game is called ¡°Mafia¡±, and you''re allowed to fight with what you''ve got. If these were your special skills, why shouldn''t you use them? The critics will see what you can actually do in combat in GW2. Even our most experienced players say they have never seen a GW like this GW1. In which the balance of power was so clearly distributed right from the start, in which it was clear from the beginning who would be the winner in the end. You can be very proud of what you have achieved, regardless of what some of the opponents may say. Enjoy your victory celebration, you deserve it.¡±


    Lady Evelyne put the first letter sheet aside and started on the second.


    ¡°Dear members of the 650, unfortunately I have had little opportunity to meet you in person. It was difficult to get in touch with you at all. Ultimately, however, I think your tactic of playing GW all for yourselves and pretending you weren''t there wasn''t stupid at all. After all, you had a very calm GW. You were able to stay away from any arguments, nobody tried to divide you because nobody even noticed you were there. In that respect: You did everything right! Congratulations on your successful participation in GW.¡±


    It was the turn of the third letterhead:


    ¡°Dear members of 651, I know (as the only one here, I suspect) that the big bang effect is still to come for you. I am impressed, really. And I can only say that you have put in an incredible performance. From weakness comes strength and vice versa. Your tactics were incredibly clever and I''m looking forward to seeing you step out of the shadows in three days'' time. All the best to you!¡±


    The fourth letter was even shorter:


    ¡°Dear members of 654, you were late to the scene and we were late to meet. Almost too late, but you still showed a little something in the SC. I would like to thank you for the friendly correspondence I had with you and wish you a good time in your city!¡±


    Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.


    Now she needed a break. She grabbed a cup of coffee from the sideboard and took a quick look at the cake, which was slowly browning in the oven.


    Then she sat back down at the table and continued writing.


    ¡°Dear members of the 655, we had a lot to do with each other. You were our only front except for the 652, and while we mostly lost to the 652, it was the other way around for you. I hope you also had some fun, even though I realize that it''s extremely difficult from an inferior position. It''s not like we don''t know what it''s like to get hit in the face, lol. We''ve always appreciated you as opponents, regularly tried to give you air, and had many nice conversations with some of you. Lil Arrow, your notoriety pushed the boundaries of this bracket, and it remains a fascination that a single sentence from you to me triggered everything that happened to your character. I owe you an apology the next time we meet, and you''ll get one. Seriously!¡±


    She put the letter aside and started on the next one.


    ¡°Dear members of the 649, just like the 653, you had a much harder time than we did, for example. Because unlike us, you had a realistic chance of winning GW. We knew from the start that we would lose this one, but you were very well positioned. The valley you had to go through was therefore a very deep one... and it must have been painful to have to experience it every single step of the way. You have my full respect for what you have achieved and for persevering. Since you are almost family, I don''t have to say goodbye to you. Instead, I say: Welcome!¡±


    It was the turn of the penultimate letterhead.


    ¡°Dear members of 653, I''m afraid it''s been the hardest for you. You were the hot favorites when it came to who could be trusted to deal with the 652. And then something like this happens... and we could feel in every single letter we exchanged how much it hurt to have your dream shattered. I admire those of you who nevertheless tried to stand your ground here until the end. Stay true to yourselves and don''t worry about the past. In the end, it''s not important here... only immersion makes us think it is. Stay strong and united in your current constellation. I wish you all the best of luck in GW2.¡±


    Then Lady Evelyne pulled the last sheet of paper towards her.


    ¡°My own dear members of the 656, when I write to the others, I write to you too. What have we not been through here! Our GW started with the shock of Mafia leaving us and the account going to the enemy of all people. We knew beforehand that our town was a bit weaker than the favorites in this bracket, but we wanted to at least give it a try. It wasn''t meant to be - and so our goal in GW became to just see how far we could get and make the best of it. I want you to know that I am proud of each and every one of you. You stayed together in the worst hours we had here and didn''t leave, even though the offers were always there and were maintained and renewed throughout. You have grown with the situations and developed in such a way that people can simply have a lot of respect for you. None of you have lost, you are all victors. Because sometimes it''s not about winning, but about getting through something together. Not about overcoming your opponent, but about showing them that you are there - despite everything. Each of you has proven that you''ve got what it takes. And that''s why you will always be my personal winners of GW, even if others will take the crown later.¡±


    Lady Evelyne once again laid the eight letters in a row in front of her. She thought for a moment and added three sentences under each letter before adding her signature and sealing them all.


    Then she took the cake out of the oven to let it cool.


    ______________________________________________


    Zax had waited until Lady Evelyne had left the kitchen before coming in through the side door. He carefully placed a farewell note in the middle of the table for all those who had not heard his parting words in the hall. He tied his bundle tighter and was about to leave when his eyes fell on the note, which was pierced by a knife and stuck in the wall next to the stove.


    Smiling, he took it down and read it one last time.


    ¡°HELP!


    Yikesy is bullying me. Thunder Dude


    Me too. Thunder Mink


    Not me yet, but soon. AceAngel¡±


    He took a pen from the sideboard and wrote underneath it:


    ¡°Me too, soon. Zaxsognir¡±


    He nailed the note with the knife back to its old place in the wall next to the stove.


    Then he took his bundle, shouldered his axe and left the clan castle of 656 in the direction of 652.


    ______________________________________________


    Lost in thought, Sweet Sativa stood outside on one of the hills that lined each area of the cities, looking out over the slowly emptying city of 649. The streams of those traveling the streets below and approaching him were numerous, but the former city of 649 grew emptier and lonelier with each person that left. Sweet Sativa sighed, knowing that he had done everything in his power. That he had not missed anything and that some developments could not be prevented. And that none of it was the end... because the future was everywhere. You just had to be brave and seize the opportunities that presented themselves. Then the future was just one step, and the next step was the possibility, and with the next step the possibility became reality. He turned away from the city of 649 and walked towards the city of 656, boldly striding towards their clan castle.


    ______________________________________________


    Mink''s coronation ceremony had been all right, despite the lack of an audience.The Thunder brothers had done what they always did: they''d simply gotten drunk. From their point of view, that was the best way to liven up a lame party.Mink had eventually passed his crown to Thunder and gone outside to get cigarettes.The sensible members of the 652 had stayed sober, knowing full well that there was still packing to be done. As discreetly as possible, they tried to tidy up a bit.


    ¡°I wonder what the other cities are doing?¡± Josi wondered, ¡±Are they celebrating?¡±


    ¡°I don''t know,¡± mumbled Ivy, ¡±maybe they''re just getting drunk?¡±


    Josi looked thoughtfully over to the stage, where the Dude was standing alone, gazing pensively into nowhere. one wondered what he was thinking?


    Into the momentary silence, there was a sudden knock at the door.


    Josi turned in surprise, went to the door and opened it.


    Lady Evelyne was standing outside with a tray full of cakes, and behind her there were lots of other people, whole crowds, pushing and shoving. And they were all shouting loudly: ¡°Surprise!¡±


    Lady Evelyne smiled. ¡°May we come in?¡±


    ____________________________________________


    Much, much later, Thunder opened the pink envelope that Lady Evelyne had brought with her and handed over personally. But the glittering party had gone on until the early hours of the morning, followed by hectic packing and gold collecting, and only now was there time to read the letter.


    He read it to the end and resolved to keep it safe. It was one of those letters you wanted to keep.Real, not just in memory.Especially the last sentences.


    He read them again.


    ¡°It was an honor to play with all of you, friend or foe. We all formed this GW together, no matter which side we were on. And that''s why I''m saying goodbye with what made us special: A piece of cake for everyone. A memorial stone for everyone on the now abandoned battlefield. And for everyone a piece of immortality in a novel.¡±

 The real winners of GW

    Bracket 649 - 656 wouldn''t have been bracket 649 - 656 if there hadn''t been another dispute at the last moment. Because although the game operator had publicly announced the winners, it was still unclear who had really won... or wasn''t it?


    _______________________________


    ¡°We''re the real winners of GW,¡± Lil Arrow declared in a huff as he had his R4 hairdresser put on his crown so that it sat perfectly in the middle of his wig, ¡±because we were the only ones who really took the game seriously. The fact that these intermission clowns were awarded the victory must have been a bad joke on the part of the game operator. It''s probably April 1st or something. So guys: here''s to our victory!¡±


    And then Lil Arrow let himself be duly celebrated by the enthusiastic crowd of 655 on the balcony of his clan castle (or rather what was left of it after the war).


    ______________________________


    In the Castle of 651, Dumbledore and his right-hand man were sitting together in a highly conspiratorial and secretive manner.


    ¡°Do you think someone has noticed something?¡± asked the right hand man.


    ¡°Not at all, not at all,¡± Dumbledore reassured him. ¡°Our tactics were perfect. We flew under the radar the whole time. They all thought we were dead or not really active on the map. Well, there was a bit of magic involved.¡± He waved his wand casually. ¡°The forgetting spell, you know. I reliably erased all our opponents'' memories. And so nobody actually noticed that we actually won this GW.¡±


    _____________________________


    On the stage of the government building in the center of the map, the elite of RxW stood waiting to receive their rewards for GW. Expecting Godfather sets and jewels, they were already tripping back and forth joyfully and were stunned when suddenly three dog baskets were handed over.


    Mink, Thunder and Kodaxx opened the baskets in confusion, took out the contents and each held one of the battle chihuahuas in their arms. ¡°Oh, they''re so cute!¡± exclaimed Poison Ivy delightedly, ¡±these are the ones named after you! Now they''re all reunited and can play with mine!¡±


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°This is supposed to be our top prize for winning GW?¡± asked Kodaxx, somewhat stunned, holding up his puppy in amazement to get a better look at it.


    ¡°Yes, it is!¡± roared Slow Pain from the back row of the auditorium where he had been hiding, ¡±Cry!!! Your Godfather sets and jewels are all gone, I got them, you got the dogs for that, muhahahaha!¡± And he quickly ran off through the emergency exit before anyone could stop him.


    ¡°That''s a good thing,¡± growled Superhero, angry Russian number 2. He stood up and pulled the mask off his face, ¡±because I''m not really an angry Russian! I only said that to make fun of the Russians here. In reality, I''m Ukrainian! And I''m not just angry, I''m actually VERY angry! And now I''m going to get this guy, muhahahaha!¡±


    ¡°Perfect!¡± shouted Vind Tr?uble Turf, standing up and pulling the mask off his face, ¡±then I can tell you now, I''m not really a romantic lover and philosopher at all, but a fire monster! Muhahahaha, and now I''m going to burn you all!¡±


    Thunder on stage carefully handed his puppy to Marzzzz, then stepped right to the front of the spotlight. ¡°I''m ranked #1 out of everyone here and I won GW. And I can finally tell you...¡± - he pulled the mask off his face - ¡°I''m really Princess Sara! I''m the real winner of this GW, muhahahahaha!¡±


    ¡°Oh my God y''all gay!¡± cried the donkey, ¡±it''s even worse than I feared! I''m looking for a new bracket now!¡± And with those words, he galloped out of the arena.


    _____________________________


    Far, far away from these events, in Texas in the office of Phantixx GmbH, which developed various mobile games such as TGM and successfully launched them on the market, the CEO''s assistant entered his office.


    ¡°Another GW over, boss,¡± he reported. ¡°Several brackets this time. And again, countless people who have invested five-figure sums of USD in a virtual illusion.¡±


    The CEO grinned. ¡°I''ll never understand how people can be so stupid as to spend money on virtual luxury cars and similar garbage that they could buy real cars for. How much profit this time, after deducting taxes and costs?¡±


    The assistant silently handed his boss a sheet of paper.


    The CEO whistled through his teeth. ¡°Remarkable, remarkable! It''s increasing every month. We can continue to expand! And I can directly double my personal bonus payment. Hm, what can I treat myself to now... I already have enough cars, several garages full... what do you think, my friend?¡±


    The assistant smiled. ¡°If I could make a suggestion, boss... Gulfstream Aerospace presented the new G700 at the NBAA trade fair. It''s a pretty thing, with special features. Your old one is only two years old, but why not renew it... with the profit you won''t even need a loan.¡±


    The CEO smiled: ¡°Order it.¡±


    While the assistant hurried off to order the new Gulfstream, the CEO stepped to the window and looked out with satisfaction. In the end, his games ran according to the same rules as a casino. No matter who thought they had won, the only real winner in the end is always the house.