King Mink was on the run. He ran as if a thousand devils were after him. The corridors of the clan castle were long and winding, but if he could make it down this one corridor, he would be safe.
There wasn''t much Mink was afraid of. One, no, two things. The first was hidden so deep inside him that no one knew about it except him and two or three attentive observers. His second fear, on the other hand, was known to everyone in his clan, and it was pursuing him mercilessly.
Mink ran for his life. The door at the end of the corridor promised safety. The king made a huge leap, tore open the door, jumped through and - collided with someone who had been waiting for him behind the door. The impact was violent, and the king''s face fell softly into what felt like a woman''s breast. Mink froze. Carefully, he lifted his head a little and opened his eyes. Slowly, the image cleared. And then, right in front of his face, he saw two huge tattooed cats grinning sadistically at him.
The king screamed.
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Down in the anteroom of the dungeon, Thunder Dude widened his eyes and yelled, ''Did you hear that?'' The rest of the Thunder Brothers staggered and tried to get to their feet. The victory binge had been a little too much. The anteroom of the dungeon alone looked as if it had been hit by a bomb. ''What''s going on?'' one of them slurred. ''Someone was shouting! I think it was the boss!'' grunted the Dude. ''Burn everyone!'' mumbled one of them. ''Stupid, the boss was shouting. Shouldn''t we help him?'' ''Oh come on, the stupid dog, he always gets too much attention anyway!'' ''Burn them all!'' ''Who, the boss?'' ''What''s wrong?''
Shaking his head, Thunder Dude made his way upstairs. At least someone should have a look... you could always burn something later. Or someone. Or whatever.
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Claw-like, bony fingers grabbed the king by the collar and then disaster struck in the form of a voice that rattled like a Kalashnikov and fired volleys of bullets at him. ''So, there you are, boy! Where have you been? Have you even looked at the entrance hall? How many times have I told you to wipe your feet? Take your boots off before you just waltz in, eh?''
Mink squirmed desperately under the older lady''s grip, who gave him no chance. ''Grandmother, I forgot! I''m sorry! But it was a big fight today, and there...'' ''And you thought you were just going to walk in here, didn''t you? I can see exactly where you were! You were in the desert! There''s sand in the entrance hall! You were in the Z3! There are chunks of earth in the entrance hall! You were fighting! There are bloody weapons in the entrance hall! Who''s going to clean all that up, huh? And you STINK, damn it, and how you stink!''
''Grandma, everyone knows I stink, our city is called Stink City, but I...'' ''But you stink of smoke! What have you lit again?'' ''Grandma, there was a clan tower from F1F, I lit it, and then I waited next to it, and they said they were coming soon, and then I had to wait for hours, and then...'' ''And then the smoke had already got into all your clothes, all that time was wasted uselessly, and you moron didn''t realise they were taking the piss out of you. Great, really, my boy!'' ''Grandma, I promise you, I''ll burn everything down there, I''ve already driven them out of Z3, you''ll be proud of me, I''ll...'' ''Shut up! I''ll be proud of you when you wipe your feet and put your weapons away and don''t dirty the entrance hall for me! I have to clean up after you blokes all the time! That''s enough now! Get changed, hang up those smelly clothes to air, and then you sweep the entrance hall and wipe wet down there!''
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Yikesy angrily shoved the King back and stomped towards the kitchen, where she bumped into the Thunder Dude, who was about to get a coffee to mask the effects of the alcohol. The Dude''s cup fell out of his hand in shock and the Kalashnikov rattled mercilessly.
''Youuuuuuu - get the dustpan and clear away the broken glass! And then put the dishwasher away!'' ''But Grandma,'' Thunder Dude dared to protest, ''I''m an important and famous warrior, the whole town respects me and the world trembles before me, and...'' ''AND - YOU - ARE - NOW - PUTTING - THE - DISHWASHER - AWAY!'' A sharp bony finger shot forward and poked the Dude in the chest and back into the kitchen. Then Yikesy threw the kitchen door shut from the outside and pushed the bolts forward with a crash. Furious, she stomped off in the direction of the dungeon.
The Thunder brothers suspected nothing bad and were far too drunk to realise the disaster that was brewing above them in time. ''Clean up your bloody mess! Clean up your vomit! Or you''ll get to know me!'' Yikesy''s voice was merciless. Helplessly, everyone ducked under the volleys of gunfire and ran to fetch buckets and mops.
Meanwhile, the King had crept to the kitchen door and quietly asked the Dude if everything was all right with him. The Dude desperately pleaded from inside: ''Let me out, brother!'' And the King wailed desperately from outside: ''I don''t dare, brother, because then she''ll bully me to death!''
And while the Thunder Brothers were on their knees in the anteroom of the dungeon scrubbing the floor, the Thunder Dude was putting away the dishwasher and the King was sweeping out the entrance hall, Yikesy sat back contentedly and surveyed their work of incipient order and cleanliness.
When the Dude had finished in the kitchen, but was still locked up, he looked around helplessly for rescue. Finally, his eyes fell on the notepad on which Yikesy was writing her shopping lists. He tore the top sheet and wrote in large letters: ''HELP!'' and a little smaller underneath: ''Yikesy is bullying me'' and his name. He then rolled up the note, slipped it into a bottle, closed it tightly and threw the bottle out of the kitchen window into the river flowing below.
In the meantime, the king had also completed the tasks set by Yikesy and slowly dared to rejoin the others. He thought feverishly about how he could solve the problem of the evil Russian grandmother. He had won GW1 by poaching players. What if he went the other way round this time? Perhaps he could offer his R4 to 653. Or the 649 in exchange for this Kodaxx or as compensation for the other guys whose names he had already forgotten because there had simply been too many. Unfortunately, he had a bad feeling that no other city would agree to this exchange, and Yikesy probably wouldn''t either. She simply enjoyed harassing everyone here, that was the bad thing. He''d even fled all the way to RxD to avoid her, but it didn''t help, since all of 652 shared a clan castle.
In the vestibule of the dungeon, he came across the dishevelled bunch of Thunder brothers. Only the Thunder Dude was still languishing alone in the kitchen, as Yikesy thought the dishwasher hadn''t been put away properly enough and made him do it all again under her supervision. Mink desperately reached for a tankard of beer and downed it. ''At least,'' he said consolingly, ''nobody on the outside knows what''s going on here. So we don''t have to worry about them laughing at us somewhere else.'' ''Chief,'' Thunder Cat said cautiously, ''you yourself wrote in the Gouverneurs Chat that you don''t know what you''ve done wrong. Because all the other R5s from the other towns have cute pretty young R4s. And all you had was a nasty old Russian woman bullying you and everyone else. Those were your words.'' There was an icy and horrified silence in the anteroom of the dungeon. Thunder Benexi whispered, ''Crap. If someone read that and memorised it. He could pass it on. Or, even worse, he could write it down and publish it!'' Thunder Boo staggered past, slurring his words: ''Burn everyone! Burn everyone who writes it down and publishes it!''
Heavy footsteps could be heard in the corridor, then the door opened. Thunder Micke stood in the doorway, holding a hot-off-the-press copy of ''Legends of the GW Bracket 649 - 656''. ''Too late,'' he said gloomily.