a day later
[system error cannot recover nine-tailed fox Pixies data]
[system notification issuing compensation 100,000 Hub credits]
[system Global announcement the monster system is down some users have lost their monster data for each day it''s down everybody will receive 100,000 hub credits regardless if they have a monster or not and if you''re one of the people that lost your characters you''ll receive 1000000 hub credits at the end of the month]
kitsune: don''t know if I''m going to enjoy this experience or not is there any risk to my soul if something goes wrong with my character''s data why I''m using it
[system admin notification your soul is safe you''re basically interfacing with something similar to a computer if the Multiverse fails nothing happens to your soul you''ll just go to sleep for a while till we restart everything there''s only been 47 catastrophic failures of the Multiverse throughout the history and the last one was 100,000 years ago]
kitsune: I went through a weird body transformation when I came here am I the source of this error
[system admin notification: you''re not the source of monster data corruption but you did have a corrupt interface on day one that''s why you were out for 7 days and a stupid intern thought it was a good idea to do an alien chestburster thing when they generated your new body that guy is fired]
Loki: good morning kitsune I''m sure you got the latest news I hope you didn''t lose your data
kitsune: I did
Loki: okay that''s super shitty I also lost some data too
kitsune: where is Silver I thought he would be with you
Loki: silver is busy dealing with one of the other newbies it''s been around for a month named Draco I''m sure you could recognize that name cuz I think you''re the one that killed him yesterday
kitsune: I hope Draco is not one of the problem child type throwing a tantrum over a loss
Loki: he''s more upset he can''t play his favorite game mode because of corruption he likes playing as a monster
kitsune: okay let''s go to the selection hub and see if there''s anything else to do
20 minutes later
Draco: Here Comes kitsune
kitsune: hi guys this stupid data corruption sucks I have to come here to select another game the first thing I wanted to do when I woke up was to go back to where I was before
silver: sorry about your data loss kitsune today I overheard it in the office when I was coming out here
Elizabeth: everybody lost their monster data this is probably the worst case of corruption ever
Draco: I was thinking about connecting to my draconic sword form anybody interested using me as a weapon to kill monsters in a dungeon
kitsune: Draco why are you so possessed with dragon forms or Dragon stuff I know dragons are cool but
Draco: I''m a dragon lizard man dragons are kind of my theme and I think they''re awesome
kitsune: fine then I might choose to be a sentient Shield cuz I don''t really feel like doing much of anything for the first run through of a dungeon
silver: okay I could be the helmet then
Loki: I could be the shoes
Elizabeth: this sounds interesting I think I''ll be the warrior wielding you all
5 minutes later
[now entering newbie dungeon 45]
kitsune: disgusting must smash this Goblin''s face
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[system notification activating spiked Shield mode]
[system notification you have done 5 damage to Goblin and Elizabeth using you has done an additional 10 damage total damage 15]
[system notification your party member Draco with Elizabeth assistance have done a critical hit 45 damage penetrated the Goblins heart]
[system notification your party member Loki guided Elizabeth''s foot to goblins crotch critical hit 35 damage]
[system notification your party member silver has activated mending and healing aura your durability and HP has been restored by 10]
Goblin: ouchie ouchie ouchie my pee pee hurts I kill you
[system notification Goblin bites you you lose 1 point of durability backlash damage you have broke the Goblins teeth minus 10 HP on Goblin] [you have slain Goblin]
Draco: that''s fucking hilarious oh my pee pee
kitsune: I do have to admit that''s pretty hilarious but what''s even more hilarious he died by biting me he broke his teeth and lost his last 10 HP
Elizabeth: Loki is definitely a professional guide when it comes to hitting something in the crotch
Loki: my disciples you should always go for the groin it''s the greatest weak spot on All Creatures at have testicles and a dick
silver: it just proves goblins think with their crotch he got stabbed in the heart and he was still able to say something about his penis before he died
kitsune: when the goblin bit me it look like a stupid dog biting a frisbee
Loki: let''s go
click 4x
Elizabeth: fuck I think we stepped in a trap
silver: Kitsune activate bulwark
[system notification bulwark activated]
boom x36
[system notification: party member Elizabeth has died]
[system notification your party member Loki has been vaporized]
[system notification your party member Draco has snapped in half]
[system notification your party member silver has been shredded]
[system notification you have been turned into scrap metal you''re dead]
[now returning to the hub]
5 minutes later
kitsune: what the fuck I didn''t even get a damage readout
Elizabeth: I did it was 482k damage
Draco: God my luck the second time I''ve been hit over 100k damage I received 300K damage from Kitsune yesterday and 400k from an explosive trap in a dungeon today
silver: I''m reporting dungeon 45 it''s not a newbie dungeon it shouldn''t have something with that much explosive force in the way of a trap it''s misclassified
Loki: even a trap around 400 damage is acceptable for a newbie dungeon wiping a party out a newbie dungeon should not have access to a level 180 plus trap that''s why I didn''t notice it cuz I''m only level five boots if it was a normal dungeon trap for that level i would have been able to detect it and avoid it
[system notification your party will receive a data rollback compensation]
Draco: yay I''m not going to lose my level 30 sword to
[system notification you have left your party]
silver: kitsune why did you leave the party
kitsune: I want to try to do something else by myself for a while I''m kind of pissed I hate playing broken games
Draco: dude the Multiverse is normally not this shitty this is the first day of had any problems with the Multiverse but I can understand how you feel
Elizabeth: yeah right now the Multiverse feels like some Electronic Arts bullshit
kitsune: if I don''t get too invested in what I''m planning to do for the next 2 hours I''ll rejoin you guys in 2 hours
2 minutes later
announcer Bob: welcome to the great battle Mech Arena contestants we have a newcomer planetary Destroyer Kitsune versus Helen the ravenous succubus
[system notification 1 minute before match starts]
kitsune: system Mech status
[Mech status]
armor 150
horsepower 60
energy Supply 200
Heat 0/100
cooling rate 15 per sec
2x Vulcan machine guns normal condition
shoulder mounted missile launcher normal condition
cockpit normal condition
legs normal condition
arms normal condition
kitsune: system abilities
[system abilities]
mechanized dragon fist 50 energy 50~120 damage armor damage 5~25
cloudburst machine gun blast 100 energy 40 damage per second and armor damage 3 per second
Helen: you look like an interesting new Challenger
kitsune: I hope you''re not an actual succubus it wants to suck my dick cuz I''m not interested in sex
Helen: it''s a stupid achievement I got I''m not a horny succubus
announcer Bob: are you guys ready
kitsune/helen: ready
rat-a-tat tat
rat-a-tat tat
whoosh
whoosh
[system notification critical hit seriously damaged right arm of your opponent]
[system warning heat level high]
kitsune: damn it my machine guns suck
helen: yeah the Vulcan guns overheat too fast that''s why I replaced one with a sword
kitsune: system discard the Vulcan guns
system notification unequipping Vulcan guns
helen: you''re discarding your guns I can understand dropping maybe one of them both are you crazy
kitsune: let''s go fisticuffs I just feel like punching in something into scrap metal nothing personal I received 400k damage today for the first time inside a newbie dungeon cuz it was misclassified and I lost my monster data
[system warning right leg has been shattered you have been downed]
helen: sorry kid you have lost cuz your arms are too short to reach me and I was able to stab your leg and shatter it with my sword you''re basically down for the count
kitsune: having a battle Mech with only 60 horsepower kind of sucks it''s impossible to react I guess you got 400 horsepower in that thing or more
helen: this match was totally one-sided from the beginning they need to put noobs against minions my opinion before they can fight other people 60 horsepower versus 200 horsepower that makes your movement speed of your Mech about 4 mph why mine is around 30 mph and you''re turning radius is slower than a sloth taking a dump
announcer Bob: winner Helen
[returning to the hub]
kitsune:time to go home screw this I don''t feel like doing anything else I think this day is cursed