Oh, heart of mine
If you could give me a break
Your voice is so loud
Why are you crying child?
They have hurt you I hear your tears
So so wide beyond your years
They have hurt you more than they can see.
Oh, bird caged in my chest
Always fighting with my soul
Why are you ablaze?
Watching everything with a sad gaze
You never truly accepted this cage.
The moon will rise on your fears
And you''ll hear the voice you seek
It will call you its child
It will hold you near.
So until we pass this sea
Until we leave,
Can you hold on for me?
Oh, weeping misery of mine
You never run out of cries
My arms don''t give you much warmth
And my chest is too tight for your flight.
I whisper late in the nights
With a hand settled on your sounds,
That I''ll be here no matter no what
And that I hope you ever let me inside
It''s lonely heart
It''s lonely.
Dear friend,
I don''t have to say you''re mine.
You know, and I know
The unspeakable truth of what we hide.
Two worlds never meant to be found
Rather than joined and sewed like a beautiful gown.
Yet I speak with your voice as much as you don''t in mine
And if anyone looks they''ll see two of the same kind.
Are we just that good at acting what we dream, friend?
Or is it the denial we both drink greedily after every fight?
(You know the answer and so do I, but I won''t talk
No, you won''t listen.)
Like a child you are
I sigh fondly at your eyes.
Teary and bright,
And yet so so wide.
Like a child you are
You can''t let go of what you are.
I smile behind my hand and hide
Oh your ire was always one of a kind
But I''m not laughing at you, dear mine.
No,
I''m laughing at those who see more than a child.
(You''ll protest vehemently and you will frown
But under that show of a child
You''ll hold a gaze that drowns
Yes, dear mine.
You wish someone would see
How you''re just a child.)
Your curiosity never ebbs
It bubbles and rises
Yet hides beneath the surface.
Am I the reason for your fear?
Dear child,
Am I the reason you fear?
I tried to see the world without my eyes
Maybe then the breeze would only carry light
And it will reach the darkness you desire
And maybe
Stay more than a night.
But I couldn''t, oh I still can''t
Feeling you shrink inside me and hide
What a failure I am.
Your curiosity dims and it''s a tearful sight
Like children being at war and birds on the ground
It''s a horrible sight
And I only gasp and choke with the plight.
(Would you believe me if I said
That I''m more scared than you somedays?)
Desert of mine,
How long will you search for the right time?
Even a desert can die
Yes even a desert can die.
So where is that dam and what will break its act?
The desert is cruel dear mine
And nobody knows that
Nobody does.
A blue desert they see
Birds flying and waves crawling
A blue desert they see.
(When will you stop? Nobody knows
When will you stop?)
Dear mine, I still ask
With a quiet voice
(You never liked the past.)
If I could do anything to make you live again.
And you shake your head with those stubborn tears
Knowing you can''t live and crying it because oh
Yes
We just want to live, don''t we?
Yes
We always did.
There was no certain moment when the line beeped
Nothing so dramatic nothing so clear
It was waves chipping away at the sea
Between and in between
You can''t see if the living beings cease.
The shore stood still and there
And it''s for the same reason our tears never land
The sea screamed its depths and withered
Like a rose dying within those who live
With an intensity that chases even death
And the shore didn''t stumble nor fear
It stood sure in its place
Looking at us
With a wistful sorrow that was hard to see.
Yes it knows it does
The nights we spent
Building towers upon towers
Of things that were never us
Like a mother, it looks at us with love
Tainted by the sadness only a mother knows
When she sees her child fighting so viciously
Just to stay up.
If it could give us the boat it would
Throw it with the power only sorrow gives
But the shore can''t move it can''t change
One detail is enough for it all to fade.
Because towers is a generous word
Dripping in denial and heart-wrenching despair
No
They were not towers.
Nothing that grand
They were sand castles
Built within the sea
Frail and frail.
So it ended
So suddenly
Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.On a cold night in January
I felt it slip away from my fingers in fright
Oh, I didn''t want to continue this life.
You felt it too but you were louder than I
Still young and hopeful
Silly child of mine
I couldn''t comfort you and I didn''t
The pain of the loss still too fresh for it to be built
Into pretty sand castles and shiny roads.
So I stayed silent and watched you cry yourself into the earth
It was shattering and the waves calmed in front of your storm
I couldn''t find the words
I couldn''t find myself
How do we explain how it is to die
When we still live?
You continued your screams and I thought
That it was enough.
I see it in your eyes sometimes
Even though you wrap it in your wary knowledge
I always find .
(Perhaps not wanting to be alone in my suffering
Perhaps hoping for a return of anything.)
That absent-minded smile that is buried behind your eyes
It tells me you can still hear the voice of life
It tells me we still can''t
Forget our lives.
But it''s not just a smile no, dear mine.
When was anything just with you?
It was a fragile hope after an eternity of darkness
A little thing that sneaked in between the overwhelming trials.
(To build the same castles we watched fall
To watch the castles we built fall.)
It was a soft grief
A soft death
A memory that kills
Yet makes you alive.
Watching the boys on the sand passing balls
You smile in that soft reserved way and I know you''re remembering the time you ran after them yourself.
(The tears still rush the same after all this time
Grief grief grief.)
Your arms tense around you and your eyes follow like a hawk
We built every castle together and I know
You want to tell them not to stray too far.
Stay away from the sea children
No, it''s not the pirates
Not anymore
It''s the waves
It''s in the waves.
But they won''t go near
I don''t say
I know that you know
When the smile turns self-deprecating and cruel
I know you know.
(Nobody nears what they fear
No
But some people
In some places
Are born with their fear nestled inside of them
So so close.)
I walk through the warm sand towards the sea
I can see your back facing me
Eyes towards the sky
(A caged bird can''t fly)
You hear me coming and you don''t move
The scene is too important no
You don''t move.
The waves are high today and they crash in your eyes
The fear is there but also resign
Yes, dear mine.
We built mirages for a long while
And the waves are ready to erase
All our sorrowful tries.
I sit beside you, not touching
(A bird never likes its cage, even if it''s also caged.)
We watch the waves for a while and I hear you exhale
What is there to say at the end of this way
When we built so many fakes
That we forgot what it meant to be real
But I wait and I don''t interrupt
(Still, the cage always tries.
In small, limited ways to make the walls less than what they are.)
You don''t interrupt a dying wish
No
You don''t.
We''ve gone far, you say
(Have we?)
We tried hard, you doubt but say anyway.
Shaky, doubtful, yet always trying.
After all those years,
You still know how to break me.
But I think it''s time to let go.
You whisper slowly
Afraid of leaving the helm even in your last moments.
(Who knows what would happen if you''re not there?
You have to make sure the castles are intact
You have to make sure the waves don''t dry.)
Let go of what, I ask the sky
Yet you answer
Always so wise.
We were always meant to crash,
(Like waves, something whispers deep inside)
But we tried too hard to ignore that
To change that.
Even though we were born with the knowledge
That birds fly, mountains stand and seas crash.
(But isn''t it human nature you think with a pang of despair that always came in those moments
Isn''t it normal to want to live?)
(A voice says you died long ago and you crush it with every will left in you
Because you can''t face the grief today
Not today.)
The waves creep closer and the scene almost looks to be horror
Fragile castles surrounded by hungry wolves
Waiting to bring it all crashing down.
(You always watched and you always built after they fell
But now
Now you don''t
It''s time to let go
The sky agrees.)
Your hand lies on the sand palm up
And it''s such a fragile gesture that I can''t control my sobs
Oh, dear mine
You were always the better one.
My fingers reach towards you like a whisper
I''m sorry, they timidly offer
And settle on your cold fingers.
(Always so so cold.
I could never give you warmth.)
They ramble apologies and words
Like a small child with hope
How the roles turn how they go.
I see the little smile flickering on your face and it makes the falling castles less the end.
(Not a beginning no, not anymore.
But still
Something lighter and sweeter than the end.)
Your hand engulfs mine with a careful warmth and I
Break down along with the watery sand
Hearing the words you left unsaid.
"It''s okay, we tried."
The sand returns to the depths of the sea and I close my eyes and breathe.
(Something sweeter than the end.)