Mates 156
Chapter 156
KAIDEN STIRLING
I felt my face contort with the pure agony I was feeling and tears filled my eyes,
Jesus, what the f**k. What the actual *k…?
I leaned forward and buried my hands in my hair, grabbing the strands from the roots and tugging
hard. Maybe that would distract me from the fact that my chest could not move just at the thought of
Freda dying.
If she died, I would be a dead man. There was no escaping that.
And as much as I would love to finally have time with her as a ghost, there were people I loved and
people she loved. I loved Harper, She needed me the most right now. She loved Lyra, Francisco,
and her father. I was not going to allow them to lose her because they loved her, too.
“You okay?” I heard a small voice and I managed to grip my showered set enough for me to raise
my head and look towards her. It was my beautiful woman. I could not help smiling at her as soon
as I saw her face, even though she looked tired. “Yeah,” I whispered, my voice h**e,
My smile must have turned out to be a horrible grimace because I saw her face tum annused and
then sheughed. “You don’t look or sound okay,” she said, I shook my head, watching her as I
leaned back in my sect
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“Neither do you,” I said and her lips stretched into a gorgeous smile as she looked away from me
and towards the in white ceiling. “That’s fair,” she said. I watched her stare at the ceiling for some
seconds before a realization hit me. She was not just waking up. Her eyes and the tone with which
she spoke told me that.
“How long have you been up?” I asked quietly. She looked at me again with a small smile on her
face. “The truth?” She asked and I leaned forward, nodding. “Yeah, truth, always,” I said.
“Since you told Lyra to leave,” she said. My heart sank and I ced my palms over my face. Fuck.
She had heard the things the doctor had told me. “I knew she wouldn’t leave if I was awake,” she
said softly. I felt her hand wrap around my finger. Her hands were deathly cold, but despite that, she
was able to send electricity through me.
She tugged a bit and I took my hand off my face. “I know she needs her rest. And I could not stop
acting like I was asleep after she left,” she said with a small smile.
God, she was beautiful. So f**ng beautiful, it hurt my heart. I missed seeing this side of her. The
yful, thoughtful, and kind side.
“I’m sorry you had to hear all that,” I told her honestly. I did not want to imagine what it was like
hearing what sounded like your own death sentence. It must have been painful, and she acted like
she was asleep through it all. She was far stronger than anyone gave her credit for.
“Hey,” she said and my eyes went from the powder blue
bedsheet to her face. “It’s okay,” she said. I shook my head. How was she so calm after hearing that
she could be dying? How?? It
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was even worse because it was a sister she loved deeply that had done this to her. I could never be
as calm as she was.
Freda, you have no idea how serbus this is” I said, taking her
I hand in mine. “You Thesitated. You could die,” I whispered and I watched tears fill her eyes. I know
she whispered, nodding. The known since I woke up in that meeting room, she sad, squeezing my
hand. “That’s okay, she said, smiling as the tears left her eyes in torrents.
I knew it was not. The tears she was crying were not tears of joy I could see the pain on her face. It
was not just physical She did not want to die. She was lying to me. I hated it.
She had so much to live for. She had Lyra, she had Francisco, she had her father… And she had
Harper. She would be a better mother to Harper than Safiya ever was. She had me. It was selfish,
but I wanted her to live… For me.
“It’s not,” I shook my head, pulling my hand from hers. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath in
what I could tell was an attempt to stop her tears. “Kai…” She whispered. I reached for her hand, I
had regretted pulling it from hers the moment I had.
I’m sorry, I whispered, showering kisses all over the back of her hand, She smiled and scooted
away from me. I was confused. She tapped the space in front of her. “Come on,” she said.
I blinked, “Come here, she said, looking embarrassed and shy. I resisted the wide grin that wanted
to spread across my face because I knew it would make her more embarrassed.
I wordlessly climbed into the bed, making sure not to tug on any of the drip tubes that were
connected to her hands. Once I was
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settled in, I looked at her face. She was studying mine. “Do you want to put your hand around me?”
She asked quietly. It was not like she could speak any louder. Her voice was still broken. I needed
to find something to help with it.
I absorbed her words; the question she had asked me. “Is that an invitation, Freda?” I teased her
and she went red in the face. I expected her to attempt kicking me out of the bed. Instead, she
nodded. “Yeah. Hold me,” she said.
Despite my surprise, I pulled her close to me.
We were silent for a moment, and then she spoke. “You’re right. It’s not okay,” she whispered. “I
remember feeling this way when I was going to have Francisco. The pains from the contractions
were horrible, but not nearly as bad as what I feel now. There were no doctors who really
understood what was going on with me because I’m a wolf, and I was trying to keep everything I
could possibly keep from them. I didn’t want them to take him away from me right after I had him,”
she said, her voice breaking.
“I told myself that it would be okay if I died while having him,” she said and I listened to her, feeling a
lump form in my throat.
She had no one. She was alone. I was supposed to have been there for her but she had no one. “I
made it. I left the hospital and had him on my own in my apartment,” she chuckled at the memory. “I
passed out right after. When I woke up, he was crying for me, for food. For a mother. I could not be
her. I was too weak. I thought it would be okay if he didn’t have me because I was not strong. I
texted Lyra my address. Told her she had toe and take care of my son now,” she said,ughing
and crying now.
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My heart clenched and I held her tighter.
“She called me. She was freaking out. She could hear him crying, she could hear me dying. She
called 911 with Dad’s phone and gave them my address. She said I have to be his mother and I
have to take care of him,” she sniffled. “I woke up in the hospital with him in a cradle beside me. I
realized it was stupid. It took me almost dying to realize that I needed to be his mother,” she
whispered.
“I make a lot of stupid decisions, Kaiden,” she said, angling her face in a way she could see mine. “I
make a whole lot of stupid decisions. But it’s not okay. It’s not okay that I’m dying. I don’t want to
leave him,” she started to sob.
Her cries gutted me. Her words shattered me. “You’re not dying, Freda. I’m not going to let that
happen,” I whispered in a hoarse voice. I was resisting tears of my own.
“You die, I die,” I whispered. “I’m not ready to die, so you’re not dying,” I kissed the top of her head.
“Okay,” she buried her face in my chest. “I die, you die. I’m not allowed to die,” she said and I
nodded. “That’s it, baby. Keep that in mind,” I kissed her hair again, holding her closer to myself.
“I’m tired,” she yawned against my chest and I could feel her warm breath on my skin through my
shirt. “Get some rest, Freda. I’ll keep you alive,” I whispered.
“Okay,” she said drowsily.
“I love you,” I said under my breath after a few minutes. I did not expect a response because she
was already fast asleep.
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