Chapter 222


    “So, when do you move in?” Le lounges across the bed in Jake’s old bedroom and takes a grape


    from the tter of food between us; snacks and sandwiches including lots of fruit, courtesy of Mamma


    Carrero and her constant care.


    Sylvana is the perfect host and she’s been doting over me when the house is empty during the week,


    when the men are at work or doing whatever the Carrero men do when not glued to their women folk.


    She enjoys mypany and Le has flown to see me when I finally drummed up the courage to tell


    her about the baby.


    To say she was ecstatic is an understatement and the five-foot teddy bear suspended on helium


    balloons, in the middle of the bedroom floor over the massive hamper of baby products, was her


    arriving gift, humped in by two very good-looking men.


    It’s been four days since the house viewing and Jake had to go into the city to oversee some business


    details and deal with the house sale. He’s been gone two days and already it feels like an eternity


    without him here. Still not able to fly and still getting car sick means Jake has put me on a travel ban for


    the time being and now I’m stuck here living in his old bedroom in the Carrero family home and


    twiddling my thumbs in boredom.


    “I think Jake’s pushing for a quick sale. He has hiswyers tying things up already and I know the


    Wilsons were ecstatic about him being interested in the house.” I imagine that Giovanni is applying


    pressure to his golfing partner to ensure his son seals the deal and ording to Arrick, Sylvana having


    us next door will make her year.


    I have given up on contemting my job and career for the time being but it’s not something I am going


    to give up onpletely just to live the life of a kept woman. I intend to figure that out in time, but for


    now being pregnant and just enjoying being pampered no longer makes me feel guilty at all. Finally


    resigning myself to the fact that this lifestyle is a part


    of being with him. My phone lights up across the bed and I reach over, grabbing it to me impulsively.


    Jake Carrero has sent you an iTunes gift.


    I start grinning and Le shakes her head at me. She knows the face that implies Jake has texted me,


    obvious glee because I miss him so much and have been acting like a teen girl with a mega crush the


    last few days. His back to back meetings means he has only been able to text through the day and not


    call me much at all.


    I flick it open, and smile again, unable to conceal my joy and the way my heart gets all warm and gooey


    and tingly.


    Jake Carrero has sent you–Avril Lavigne “I Miss You”.


    I chew on my lip as I waiver over whether I should reply with a song which once broke my heart or


    scroll for a new one. Maybe it’s time to make that song mean something else to us now; take away the


    pain I feel anytime I hear it on the radio or in passing. I push down the doubt with a slow inhale and


    send it on its way to him.


    You have sent Jake Carrero–Avril Lavigne “When You’re Gone”


    Attached message – Erasing the past. Remember? E xx


    I stare at the screen of my phone as my ‘gift’ slips away across the inter web to my awaiting love,


    hoping he remembers it. The special song I once sent in hopes of him figuring out how I felt and


    instead rejected me, and the words attached are his words at a new beginning so long ago.


    Le ispletely immersed in a magazine, while I’m focused on the love of my life, amusing herself


    while


    I’m distracted. Surprisingly patient for such a little firebomb of energy.


    My phone shes with a text and this time it’s a message instead of a song and again I can’t stop that


    heart fluttering gooey response in me.


    I’ll never let you go baby. I’ll never let you walk away either. I would never be stupid enough to ever go


    down that route again. The past doesn’t matter, only what the future holds. I love you xxx. J


    My heart aches with his response and a tear catches in my throat. My Jake with his fast words that


    always sing to me, so in tune with everything I need to hear. I reply with a text and a song, a twinkling


    little smile stuck clearly on my face.


    Avril Lavigne “Keep Holding On” … I love you more xxx”


    “You two are sickeningly cute you know?” Le is watching the obvious happiness spread on my face,


    thanks to Jake’s messages, and seems a little forlorn where love is concerned. I feel guilty for ignoring


    her and pull myself up to move closer to her, putting my phone face down on the bed so it won’t distract


    me if he replies. “Jake and his pushy one hundred mile an hour self.” Le giggles, bringing us back to


    the conversation about the house and a quick sale now she has my full attention, she pops another


    grape into her mouth. I beam as I think of him. I wouldn’t change him anymore; not even that part of


    him now I know where it stems from. Jake is always going to be pushy, bossy, and sometimes


    domineering but I’m sure I have traits that are equally bad and I’m learning how to counteract him in my


    own way. I love him regardless and sometimes I even love those things about him.


    “Pushy, impulsive and spontaneous while I’m cautious, over aware and over analyze.” I sigh and reach


    for a piece of fruit to pick at despite being full to bursting already.


    “Perfect bnce, babes … You need each other to even things out.” Le grins at me knowingly, all


    hints of sadness now gone from that pretty face. I push more grapes in my own mouth and smile at her


    observation.


    I never thought of it that way.


    “What about Daniel? Any word on that front?” Since Hunter started therapy he’s been keeping out of


    the way, only calling Jake every couple of days, and Le hasn’t mentioned him at all since her arrival


    earlier.


    This content ? N?v/elDr(a)m/a.Org.


    “One text … Telling me he was trying to figure things out and to give him time.” Le shrugs and rolls


    on her back, avoiding my eye contact suddenly. “I told him I met someone else, so to push off.” She


    adds quickly and avoids even looking at me, lifting the magazine above her face as though she’s trying


    to read in that position.


    “What? Why?” I sit upright a little too quickly, upsetting the tray on theforter, sending grapes rolling


    everywhere, and eye her usingly. She shrugs and pastes on the defiant furrow of her brows that I


    can still see clearly even from this angle.


    “I told you I’m done waiting for him, yeah, he’s finally in therapy … Bravo. But for how long? And how


    long before he doesn’t run a mile at any hint of real affection, Emma?” Le sits up with a single tear in


    her eye. “He hurt me for thest time. Really hurt me. Why would I sit around waiting for something that


    may never actually happen? Therapy is a start, but it doesn’t mean it will actually change much.”


    I must admit I didn’t see thising at all. She has waited so long for some sort of real emotion from


    the guy and now he’s doing something about it, she’s running the other way. I can’t help but wonder if


    Le is now scared about the change in him and the possibility of more.


    “I think he loves you, Le … He’s doing this for you,” I try, but that stubborn lift of her chin and


    hardening of her soft face shuts me up.


    “He should be doing it for himself. I don’t want that pressure.” A tear rolls down her cheek and she


    brushes it away with an angry jut to her bottom lip. Inner Le always fighting toe out and push


    him away, pushing away the memory of heartbreak and any weakness concerning Daniel.


    “Is there really someone else?” I push in a new direction. I know how she can be; the more you pry, the


    higher that defensive wall kicks in, Le really doesn’t do victim at all. In fact, she rarely does any sort


    of weakness.


    “Kurt Robson … He’s followed me around for years. He’s like a little puppy dog always trying to get my


    attention and I figure maybe it’s time to let him try. He’d never hurt me. He’s safe and gentle and kind


    and hepletely dotes on me.” She can’t look me in the eye at all and I feel utter sadness for her.


    She’s running to safety, running to a man she doesn’t love, because he can’t and never will hurt her.


    “How do you feel about him?” I reach out and touch her fingers when I see that distant daydreamy look


    in her eye as her head gets lost in thought. No doubt thinking about the one man she’s refusing to give


    any sort of chance to.


    Oh, Le!


    “I’ll learn to love him. I mean he’s sweet, handsome


    and funny. He treats me nicely and he never drops me like I’m some infectious disease, he doesn’t


    care about


    my past. He’s calm and straightforward with no wild tendencies, the exact opposite to Daniel. It’s what I


    need.” She swallows down the surge of emotion and pastes a bright smile on her face. Her eyes betray


    what’sing out of her mouth, but I let it go.


    An overwhelming sadness hits me in my stomach and can’t stop the moisture hitting my eyes. Here is a


    girlpletely in love with a man who ispletely in love with her and yet neither can get it together


    and just be happy. Daniel is what Le needs. Safe, dull, and kind will onlyst so long. She needs


    someone as hot and fiery as her to match her every mood and handle her at her worst. She needs


    someone who will stand up to her bullshit and sweep her off her feet; someone who keeps life fun and


    interesting and is just as impulsively wild as her. She needs a man who can embrace her wild side and


    not want to tame it, someone who won’t let that pushy side of Le dominate him and knows exactly


    how to handle her. She needs Hunter. Yet she’s too damn scared to let him hurt her again.


    I get that lump in my throat and think of Jake. I’ll go


    out of my way to do anything to make sure we never go


    back there.


    I’ll never let us drift apart again.


    It’s the most heart-breaking thing I’ve ever witnessed.