Aster hated these moments when she couldn’t forget how much people were depending on her. She hated that she had to let them trust her.


    But, none of that could matter right now, of course. Aster slashed her knife through the light with renewed determination, or at least adrenaline. She chose a specific pattern this time, pouring into it light and heat she’d stored up. The blades of light blossomed out toward the creatures. The deer reared back, and the boar shied away. Aster threw down several small glowing echo crystals at their feet and edged toward the tunnel she’d come through, getting in front of the entrance to guard it.


    She was about to direct Hyacinth toward it, but faltered when she glanced toward him. Aster saw him hunched forward with glazed-over eyes, clutching his chest, trying to breathe. Hyperventilating.


    A dark feeling settled in her stomach. I did this. If I’d just...


    There wasn’t any time for that.


    “Can you get to the tunnel?”


    That seemed to bring Hyacinth back to the present moment, at least. Aster hated asking him to do anything more, especially in his current state, but he managed to shakily climb to his feet.


    Aster turned back toward the monsters from the Depths as the deer let out another shriek, this time even louder as several blades of light seared its side, despite its efforts to avoid it. The boar had managed to avoid the attack, and was pawing at the ground in preparation for another charge.


    She scattered more crystals in front of the ones she’d already dropped, moving the line of defense further forward. She could hear Hyacinth disappearing down the tunnel. She launched one more attack, picked up the broken lantern, and scrambled after him.


    She could hear him in the tunnel ahead of her, but he soon reached the end and moved away from the entrance. Aster could see the light from the crystals she’d given him shining from beyond the tunnel. She slipped out and did a quick sweep of the room, turning so her lantern would shine around her and give her an idea of everything that was there. Then she turned back toward the tunnel with her knife ready, waiting to see if anything came through. The deer definitely couldn’t fit, and the boar probably wouldn’t either, but it was best to be safe. She heard some scrabbling at the other end of the tunnel, then all went quiet. She waited for a few more moments, but nothing happened.


    Finally, she let out a breath and turned. Aster would’ve breathed a sigh of relief, but... she turned her gaze to Hyacinth and all semblance of relief left her mind as she properly took in his state.


    He’d made to start treating his wound, but appeared to have stopped, staring blankly at it. He dropped his hands from near it, seeming numb, his eyes haunted.


    A tendril of the Dark snaked toward his wound, misty and indistinct. Aster cried out, cutting a shred of light from her lantern toward it. It wasn’t warm enough to hurt Hyacinth even if it hit him, and it only severed the length of Dark before it could reach him. She hurried to place crystals around him, preventing the Dark from reaching toward him again, at least for the moment. She hesitated and reached partway toward the bandage he held.


    “We can treat it,” she said softly.


    “It doesn''t matter,” He murmured. “It’s a waste of a good bandage. I’m...” He trailed off.


    “Hyacinth...”


    He seemed to try to force a smile, which only appeared faintly. “It’s okay. All the things that would have been used to help and sustain me can do a lot of good elsewhere now.”


    “No. No,” Aster said firmly. She paused, feeling numb. “I’m so sorry, Hyacinth. If I’d been faster, if I’d been more careful, this wouldn’t have happened. But you’re wrong. You’re wrong that things are over for you.”


    “It’s not your fault, Aster. You know these things happen. No matter how well we do, no matter how brave and careful and skilled we are... it’s just a fact of life. An inevitability. Part of being a Lantern, part of venturing into the Depths.” He pressed the bandage into her hands. “You can keep this. You don’t have to convince yourself that anything different could have happened, or that there’s anything we can do now. It’s alright.” Aster opened her mouth to object, but he kept talking, his gaze falling away from her eyes. “And - no one’s waiting for me at home anyway. No one is really depending on me to come back. The pain won’t last long, after I’m gone. I’ll just have to... make sure I can''t hurt anyone once I''m a Shade.” His eyes darkened as he said that. The pit in Aster’s stomach yawned wider at the possible implications left there.


    “Hyacinth, no. I promise you that you’re wrong. I’m not in denial. I understand you’ve been Tainted, you’ve begun Darkening, and if we allow it to progress, you’ll become a denizen of the Depths.” Aster placed a small glowing crystal on the ground, wrapped in a clean cloth, and crushed it. “But you’re wrong that we can’t stop the Darkening.” She spread the crystal dust on the sterile side of the bandage.


    “I know it can be slowed, but that’s just... a way of ignoring what we know will happen. We can’t slow it down by much, they’ve tried. I may as well be dead now, for all we can do to change my fate. The best I can do is be useful up until I lose myself.”


    Aster paused and met his eyes. “They’ve lied to us.” She took a deep breath. “Do you promise to listen to me? To at least hear me out, and to keep the secrets I’m about to tell you once you understand why?”


    Hyacinth studied her. She could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes, which he seemed to be trying to suppress. “I promise.”


    She held his gaze for a moment longer, trying to gauge his sincerity. She didn’t believe he’d lie to her, though. Not unless he thought it would protect someone, at least if her idea of him was accurate. “My father was Tainted almost three years ago.”


    Surprise flashed across his expression. “Your... father?”


    “Yes. I’ve seen the mark, the inky blood, his pain at reacting to light... I’ve been helping him treat the mark and the Darkening for as long as I’ve known about it. I’ve seen the Dark attack him when he...” She took in a breath and slowly let it go. “Well, when he came here to save me once. The only time the Darkening progressed was when he ventured into the Depths for me. I’ve been helping him keep his secret, keep him from being taken away. He’s still in the early stages of the Darkening, after all this time. He’s alive, Hyacinth.” She held his gaze again. “Just like you will be. Just like Mira will be. I’ll stop this all, somehow. Being Tainted can’t keep being a death sentence. We can’t allow it.”


    Hyacinth was quiet for a long moment, then a tear traced his cheek. He bowed his head and wept. At first, it seemed, from relief, then he seemed to think of something and covered his face, crying harder. “So she... she didn’t have to die here...”


    Aster hesitated, then moved to his side, offering her shoulder like another Lantern had for her when Orion had disappeared. That Lantern was gone now too.


    Hyacinth kept trying to wipe his tears, but he couldn’t keep up with them. At some point he gave up on that and instead wrapped his arms around himself. Eventually he slumped to the side, leaning on her shoulder. Some of his tears dripped down onto her cloak, but none of it sank deep enough for Aster to feel.


    She’d never imagined being the one to comfort someone she looked up to. Just another chance to pretend to be something I’m not. But... if it helps, I’ll take that place. Whatever it takes. Just as long as I avoid making things worse that way.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    As the tears slowed, he sat up, trying to take deep breaths and regain his composure. It seemed to prove more difficult than he’d expected. Aster kept her attention elsewhere, carefully preparing the bandage, her lantern, and a shade cloth.


    Hyacinth managed to regain control, and Aster turned to him again. "I need to shine the lantern on the wound for a little while. It will hurt, but it''ll also slow the inkblood’s spread. Is that okay?"


    Hyacinth drew in a deep breath to steady himself and nodded, seeming to not entirely trust his voice yet. Aster did as she''d said, shining the light at its brightest toward the Taint mark on his leg. He immediately tensed up, grimacing, but didn''t move his leg. His hand twitched as if to cover the light, but he sat still. Aster watched with concern and guilt. She''d seen her father like this time and time again, but it never stopped being painful to watch - and more painful to bear, she was sure. What did it take, to just sit and suffer it?


    She couldn''t help but imagine Mira sitting there this way, grimacing at the pain.


    She tried to shake that thought away, and watched as the wisps of the Dark festering in the wound recoiled at the brightness. Several of them dispersed, and the dark blood would stop seeping further into nearby vessels and tainting them.


    If they had surgeons trained in it, could they remove the Taint altogether if they caught it at an early enough stage? Aster was far from a trained surgeon, but she could hope that one day, they could conquer the Dark.


    None of that would come so early in Hyacinth''s Darkening though. How long would he be stuck in the Depths? She couldn''t let him go back, not as a Tainted Lantern, but trying to get him beyond the Depths without significantly progressing the Darkening...


    I have to be able to do this. I have to get them out.


    Aster closed the lantern and placed it behind her, shielding Hyacinth from the worst of the light, and carefully wrapped the bandage around his wound, with the crystal dust facing it. The pain evidently lessened significantly, and Hyacinth breathed a sigh of relief, easing back. "I suppose I''ll need to release the light I have stored up, at some point?"


    "Not yet, I don''t think, but once your eyes become more sensitive to the light, you can do that and put this on." She handed him the shade cloth. He nodded, then took it and tucked it away somewhere.


    He met her eyes. “Thank you, Aster.”


    She looked away. “I’m... just doing what I should. Especially since it was my fault that you...” She trailed off, clenching her fists on her knees, but then made herself finish the sentence. “That you were Tainted. You were protecting me, and you took an attack meant for me.” She closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Hyacinth.”


    “No, you were protecting me. Without you, it could’ve been much worse. This wasn’t your fault. I doubt I could’ve gotten out of this without being Tainted.”


    “You have before, countless times.”


    He shrugged. “I broke my lantern today. I’ve only done that two other times, and both times I narrowly escaped being Tainted. This time I ended up cornered, and I might never have found that low tunnel if it weren’t for you.” He paused. “This wasn’t your job anyway, was it?”


    “What makes you say that?”


    “I know what you do. How you keep taking on the Lantern jobs of those that are Tainted or less experienced. Trying to shoulder the danger all on your own. You’ve helped a lot of people. Saved, even.”


    Aster stiffened. “I... haven’t done enough. I could’ve done more. You do more of it as it is.”


    Hyacinth went quiet, studying her. “I think you do enough. I’d... have to say I admire you, really. We’re all colleagues, as Lanterns, but you’re one of the few I can see trying to do the exact same work as me.” He hesitated. “It’s fine if you’re not comfortable with praise, but please try to be more fair to yourself.”


    Aster started a bit. She hadn’t expected him to say that. “I’m sorry. I suppose this is a bit out of character for me, isn’t it?” She chuckled weakly and sat back, trying to relax her tensed muscles, trying to put the mask on again. Pretend to be some kind of hero, again. Pretend she wasn’t desperate to preserve the assurance that Hyacinth would pick up the pieces where she inevitably failed.


    She finally breathed a delayed sigh of relief, which mixed strangely with the adrenaline still thrumming through her body. She could feel herself still shaking just a bit, though it’d lessened significantly. Aster tried on a slight smile.


    “What now?” Hyacinth asked.


    "Now..." That was going to be difficult. "I can''t let you go back. I can''t let them send you to your death."


    "So, you mean... I''ll need to go beyond the Depths?"


    Aster nodded, trying to appear more confident than she felt. "We''ll get you somewhere safe, and I''ll go back for Mira and my dad. Then... We''ll take that journey."


    "What about all the others that are Tainted?"


    Aster looked down, ashamed that she thought less about them. She almost said she didn''t know. But that wasn''t something a hero would say, was it? Hyacinth... wouldn''t go if he didn''t believe they were in capable hands, would he? "I''ll come back for them. I promise. I just... don''t yet have a plan for how to save them." So quick to make promises. I hope you’re not so quick to break them. Aster winced slightly at the thought, but tried to pull herself back into the present moment.


    Hyacinth nodded. He closed his eyes for a moment, clenching his hands on his knees. "What if I stay behind with them? Find a way out from the inside?"


    Aster looked up sharply. "No! I can''t let you..." She trailed off.


    "Die with them? Suffer with them? If nothing else... maybe one of us should. Be with them, offer them hope, or comfort at least."


    "You could help more people if you live, Hyacinth. Please."


    He let out a breath. "They just... shouldn''t be alone."


    "I know." Aster thought of Orion, struggling to get free in that alcove he''d been trapped in the last time he was ever seen. She closed her eyes. "I know." She''d thought countless times about what might have happened if she''d stayed, heedless of Orion almost seeming to plead that she leave. What was behind that? What would have changed if he just hadn’t been alone?


    She opened her eyes again. That was why she had to learn. She had to be better. She had to be able to save them, to stop just pretending.


    "But they''ll need you on the other side too. It''s dangerous enough just coming from our side, but being Tainted...? Everything there will be against you all. I can''t leave them alone when I go back."


    Hyacinth paused, then nodded. "You''re right. I''ll go."


    She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. At least they''ll have a chance, she found herself thinking. No, not just them. I''ll have to make a chance for the others. They can''t slip through the cracks because of me. But a voice at the back of her mind still whispered, But this is all so you have a safety net. It''s all about damage control. You know you''ll fail eventually. You know pretending can only get you so far. So you try to make sure other people can save as many as possible, so you can feel a little less guilty.


    Hyacinth''s voice pulled her out of those thoughts. She didn’t have anything to say to them anyway. "How will we get through the Depths without losing our names?"


    "I''ve seen some passages here that seem untouched by the Dark, with natural light filtering in. If we can find a consistent enough line of those, we can escape through it. Otherwise, risking more Dark exposure, or else... well, there''s always the mountain plains above. Going over the mountains instead of through and under them."


    Hyacinth took a deep breath. "We''ll... have to see, I suppose." He leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. Their lights didn''t reach that far. Aster followed his gaze, staring into the fathomless darkness. This was a tall cavern, in stark contrast to the smaller one past the low tunnel. Come to think of it, she should’ve been more careful of the open space above them when settling down in this room.


    “We need to get you somewhere with natural light. Or at least less of the Dark, whatever we can manage.” Aster unfolded one of her maps, first trying to locate where they were. Hyacinth craned his neck to look at the map, and she lowered it so they could both see.


    “You’ve kept updating your maps?”


    Aster pushed down the guilt that rose at that and nodded. “I don’t know why they didn’t seem to be helping, but... I use them, and I let others use them when I can. Just, privately.” She paused. “Whoever’s in charge of the Lanterns doesn’t seem to have any genuine concern for us.”


    Hyacinth went quiet for a moment, seeming to hesitate. “Maybe not, but some of the overseers seem to, at least.”


    Aster nodded reluctantly. “Some seem to. I just... need to fix things in a more permanent way, you know?”


    “I understand.” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a small moment. “I’ve just been focusing on trying to survive, and trying to make sure others do, for so long. You’re not the only one that wishes they could’ve done more, all this time.”


    “No one blames you. Just like you don’t blame me.”


    Hyacinth smiled. “Thank you.” He shifted and tested his injured leg, then slowly stood. Aster stood with him, hovering nearby in case he needed help. He winced, but stayed upright and nodded to her. “We can go now. Is there somewhere safe I can wait where I can watch the main entrance?”


    Aster took a moment to consider. “I think so.” She prepared her things, checked her map for a moment, and led the way out.