ã€ŠLanterns Under a Waning Sunã€‹


 Chapter 1 - False Hopes or False Fears

    "I''ll ask you again. Do you have proof?"

    Aster tried to keep her expression impassive as she bristled inside. I do have proof. I just also know enough to assume that if I demonstrated it to you, you''d take him away. "Do you?"

    The Lantern Overseer, Andromeda, gave her a pitying look. That almost bothered her more than the incredulity. Do you really not know, or do you just not care? Is it you who seems to be trying so hard to make sure all the lights go out, or is it all from further up the chain? "Aster, I''m sorry, but you''re fighting a losing battle. Read the Lantern guidelines about Darkening. I''m sure they won''t be difficult to find."

    "I have read them, again and again. The information is incomplete, and the evidence is shaky at best. At worst, the notion of ¡®evidence¡¯ is carefully skirted around." Aster folded her arms, trying to hold in her frustration.

    "Do you really think it''s all some grand conspiracy?¡± Andromeda sighed. ¡°What would you have me do, Aster? Risk more untainted Lanterns by sending them deep into the Depths?"

    "You''ve had no qualms about it before!" Aster found herself glaring and took a step back. She looked away for a moment and took a deep, slow breath. "It''s cruel. We should be helping the people who have been Tainted, not subjecting them to the increasing pain that light inflicts on them just to light others'' way."

    "There''s nothing we can do for them, Aster. Their fate is sealed. The best we can do is give them heroic last moments, don''t you think?"

    "No.¡± Aster looked Andromeda deep in the eyes, silently daring her to look away. She didn¡¯t, but just blinked, calm, if looking a bit weary. ¡°We shouldn''t make them suffer more than they will already. It doesn''t have to be them. How many of them would actually choose those heroic last moments, instead of relative peace and comfort?"

    "Who else would you suggest for a mission this deep into the Depths?"

    Aster hesitated. She clenched her fists tightly, squeezing her hands into themselves for comfort. I already made this decision. What''s the point in reluctance now? It¡¯s too early to stop pretending. "I''ll go."

    Andromeda didn''t seem the least bit surprised. Just disappointed, in a way. "Aster..." She glanced at the other Lanterns. "Come, let me talk to you for a moment." Aster followed the Overseer a few paces away. She turned toward Aster and sighed. "You can''t save her, Aster. Delaying the inevitable, building false hope... it''s more cruel than just getting it over with." Andromeda did that pitying look again. "Is this about Orion?"

    Aster didn''t meet her eyes. "Not specifically."

    "What happened to Orion isn¡¯t about you. Those things just... Happen, sometimes."

    "He shouldn''t have been sent out there." Aster looked back, holding Andromeda¡¯s gaze again as if that could make her listen. And I shouldn''t have been the one that found him. It should''ve been someone better, someone that could have brought him back. "And we just keep repeating the same mistakes, just letting things happen, over and over. We can''t afford to do that. Too many lives hang in the balance. Too many people keep getting hurt by all of this. You¡¯ve got to already know this, deep down."

    "The root of the problem is the Starless Depths themselves. There''s nothing we can do about the fact that they¡¯re here, so we have no choice but to live with them the best we can." Andromeda returned Aster¡¯s gaze, seeming somehow earnest in her own way. "And the best way we can ensure survival for the most people is by rooting out those that are Darkening from among us, Aster. That''s the other reason, as unpleasant as it may be. They''re a danger to all of us, and they''ll lose their names soon enough anyway. They''re already fading. There is no cure, no way to stop the process. Only to slow it, give them more empty time with which to stare into the unresponsive abyss that awaits them. Do you think that''s what they''d want? A slow death, confined to some dark corner alone, watching as they lose themselves?"

    Aster looked over at Mira, standing still in the long dimming veil and cloak, looking out toward one of the many yawning openings to the Depths. She looked... somehow smaller now than before being Tainted, even though she was still getting taller. Was that the fate that awaited her? That slow lonely fading, or suffering as she led someone else to safety? She doesn''t have to fade completely. I can save her. I have to believe that.

    Aster turned back to Andromeda. "But what if we can find better ways to slow or stop the Darkening? What if it just needs more research? Isn''t that worth the risk?¡±

    "Is that why you seem so eager to put yourself in danger of being Tainted? You want to test it? Good luck telling us what you learn, if you go that route. I can''t say I have much hope of gaining anything from that." Andromeda let out a sigh. ¡°I agree that we should try to hold on to whatever and whoever we can. We just disagree on what¡¯s actually possible.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to test what it¡¯s like to be Tainted,¡± Aster said firmly. ¡°I¡¯m trying to save them. The other Lanterns, as many as I can. I thought it was your job to make sure we¡¯re all as safe as we could be. With all due respect, you¡¯re not doing that, none of you are. It''s like you''ve already given up.¡± She hoped it wasn¡¯t obvious how backhanded that phrase could be, ¡°with all due respect¡±. What if she didn¡¯t think they were due much respect, at least not as an organization?

    ¡°You think that if we can¡¯t, surely you must be able to? One person can do what a whole organization has found themselves unable to?¡± Andromeda sighed wearily. ¡°We¡¯re doing all we can, Aster. Nothing is perfect. Every person we can¡¯t save pains me as much as it does you.¡±

    Aster felt her hands shaking. I don¡¯t believe you. I can''t. She relaxed her hands from being clenched as she noticed they still were. ¡°Please. Let me do what I can.¡± She hated having to concede and try to take as much of the burden as she could, but what else could she do? She could at least be better than nothing, couldn''t she?

    Andromeda paused, then let out a breath. ¡°You get one chance. The first Lantern we sent out to investigate hasn¡¯t made it back. I don¡¯t know what you think you can do, but you may as well try. I hope you come back.¡±

    Aster nodded and gave a short bow as respectfully as she could muster. She did manage to stop herself from grinding her teeth, if only for the sake of her teeth. ¡°Thank you.¡± She rushed off towards Mira.

    Mira didn¡¯t look up as Aster came. ¡°Mira?¡± She turned her head slightly toward Aster, but otherwise gave no indication that she¡¯d noticed her. ¡°She¡¯s giving me a chance.¡±

    Mira paused. ¡°Am I supposed to be happy about that?¡± She spoke softer than she used to. ¡°About you putting yourself in danger to try to prolong a life that¡¯s already over?¡± She finally turned to look Aster in the eyes. ¡°It¡¯s pointless, you have to know that. Please. Let me go, do one last good thing for someone.¡± Aster tried not to wince at the earnestness in Mira¡¯s haunted eyes. Mira hesitated, looking away again. ¡°Maybe... Maybe I can save them. Wouldn¡¯t that be a good thing to be remembered for?¡±

    ¡°Hey.¡± Aster stepped forward, putting a hand on Mira¡¯s shoulder. She was so much shorter than Aster. Several years younger. ¡°Hey, it¡¯s not over, Mira. I promise.¡±

    ¡°What is this false hope you¡¯re hanging onto? Where did it come from?¡±

    Aster hesitated. ¡°I... can¡¯t tell you where it came from. I can tell you that it¡¯s real, though. It¡¯s based on something I know, not just something I hope. Please, trust me.¡± Aster moved to try to catch Mira¡¯s eye, or at least be more clear in her field of vision. ¡°That¡¯s something good you can do for someone.¡±

    ¡°Not if it ends badly for you.¡± Mira took a shaky breath. ¡°I don¡¯t think I could forgive myself if it did.¡±

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    ¡°It would be my fault then, not yours. What if it was a different Lantern instead of you? Would you think it was their fault if I asked to go instead of them? It¡¯s my choice, and I already made it. It¡¯s not you. If anything happens, you can be mad at me.¡± Aster mustered up a smile. ¡°And just to spite me, you can resolve to outlive me by as much as you can.¡±

    ¡°How would that be to spite you, if it¡¯s what you want?¡± Mira mumbled.

    ¡°Mm... Then by not letting anyone go to look for me?¡±

    Mira tilted her head. ¡°I can¡¯t figure out if you want that one or not.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t either. I¡¯d want to be found, but... I wouldn¡¯t want to endanger anyone.¡± Aster took a breath. No one should have to suffer for my mistakes. Not again.

    ¡°So you can understand how I feel, then.¡±

    Aster went quiet. ¡°I¡¯m... sorry, Mira. I can understand that. But believe me when I say that the best thing you could do for me is just to try to live. Well, at least to do your best to stay out of the Depths. Okay?¡±

    ¡°What if I say the same thing about you?¡± Mira met her eyes again, for a moment. ¡°They can¡¯t afford to lose you.¡± No ¡®we¡¯ or ¡®us¡¯ because she thinks she doesn¡¯t belong anywhere anymore.

    Aster winced but tried to hide it. No. You¡¯re wrong. You have no idea just how much I can¡¯t do, how performative this all is. But you need to believe that I¡¯m strong, so you¡¯re not so afraid. ¡°I¡¯ve ventured into the Depths so many times before, and yet I have a 100% return rate. You really think this will be the time that does me in?¡± She tried to pour her artificial concoction of confidence into her words.

    ¡°You¡¯re not invincible. No one is.¡± Mira paused, looking at Aster with an expression that seemed pained. ¡°I¡¯m... afraid. Especially afraid that it¡¯ll end up being my fault.¡±

    ¡°I told you. None of this is your fault, and no one else¡¯s actions are your fault. It¡¯s not your responsibility to decide for me, and you can''t control whether you succeed in persuading me.¡± Aster paused and took a deep breath. ¡°I know I¡¯m not invincible. I know you¡¯re afraid, and I¡¯m sorry for the worry I¡¯ve caused you. But, do you know just how hard I¡¯ll try to come back?¡±

    ¡°As hard as all those times you came back on your own?¡±

    ¡°Harder, because I know this time I have someone counting on me.¡± She put on another smile. Was that the right thing to add here?

    Mira paused, then suddenly embraced her. ¡°Come back,¡± she said fervently.

    Aster froze, surprised for a moment, then gently returned the hug. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best.¡± Mira pulled back. ¡°Take care of yourself, okay?¡±

    Mira nodded. ¡°You too. Promise me.¡±

    ¡°I will.¡± Aster offered one more smile, then turned and walked away.

    She collected the lantern marker for the Lantern that had been sent out first, double-checked her supplies, and stepped up to the nearest tunnel into the Starless Depths.

    Aster stood at that threshold and took a deep breath, then flared her lights to life and took the first steps into the tunnel.

    The beginning stretches of the tunnel were crowded with various varieties of hanging plants, vines, and ivy straining toward the light. Those species only grew in that thin in-between area of dimness, though they had something of siblings and a few distant cousins further on.

    The dimness became darkness before long, then that darkness deepened until she thought she could almost feel it. She knew that was her imagination this early on, though. Her multitude of lights cut through it starkly, enfolding her in a sphere of illumination. She was alone with her light, the subtly brown rock walls and ceiling, her echoing footsteps, and the Depths. The pressing silence seemed to fight with the sounds of her footsteps, much as the Depths fought her light.

    The floor started slanting more sharply downward. Aster took care not to trip. After passing through a few forks in the tunnels and coming to another, she opened her lantern and secured the Lantern¡¯s marker in its place. That made part of the light extend outward, reaching out in the direction of the light the missing Lantern should have with them. Aster adjusted her course accordingly. It angled downward diagonally, so she started laying out a mental route in her head.

    Soon, Aster could hear the rhythmic dripping of water from stalactites. She splashed through a shallow pool of collected water, then stepped onto something soft that squelched as she put pressure on it. Carpets of dark green moss stretched out here, drinking in the water. Sporadically, tiny orange or yellow flowers poked out of the moss. Aster angled herself sideways as she brushed past some hanging plants, these a few shades paler than those on the threshold.

    She stepped away from the dripping water and checked one of her handmade maps. She should be nearing the Well she''d be going down soon.

    Aster came to a short, circular stone wall surrounding a hole. There was a ladder coming up out of it, securely attached to a side of the well. Most Wells just had a rope, but this one was used frequently. She peered in, lowering her lantern so she could check the area she¡¯d drop into. The hole here didn¡¯t continue down after reaching the next level below. The way seemed clear, so she tied her lantern to her belt, swung onto the ladder, and started down carefully.

    It didn¡¯t take long to reach the ground. This level wasn¡¯t that far beneath the one she¡¯d come from. It tended to be a little more humid than the first, and had an abundance of mushrooms that weren¡¯t all that different from those found on the surface.

    Aster continued similarly for a while, falling into a sort of habitual trance. After a while, she descended to another level. This third level was where the strange translucence common in the Starless Depths really started to appear, but more noteworthy was the reflective quality that many denizens of this level had. She passed by a cavern wall covered in mirrorlike moss and stepped around a cluster of willowy reflective mushrooms. The light extending out to the lost Lantern slowly became steadily brighter as she got closer to them.

    At one point, she heard the telltale clattering of new swallowrock nearby, so she made a quick note on one of her maps and gave the area a wide berth. She didn¡¯t have the time to pinpoint exactly where the swallowrock began, but maybe she could do it on the return trip.

    She had to check her map a few times as the Lantern¡¯s marker led her into less-traveled areas, but she was fairly sure she¡¯d been here before.

    Aster snapped out of the trance when the Lantern marker¡¯s light suddenly jerked in a different direction. It¡¯d gotten much brighter now - she was getting close. Aster sped up, then broke into a run as the light sped up further.

    She started nearing a jagged wall of rock with a low opening at the base. The light had become blinding, pointing straight through the wall, at a similar height to where Aster held her own light. She took off her backpack and set it down, crouched down, and started examining the opening.

    A crash sounded from the other side of the wall. Something shattered, and a short moment later, the light pointing toward the Lantern abruptly went out.

    Aster tied her lantern at her side on the belt and, filled with a newfound sense of urgency, started crawling forward as quickly as she could. When she went too fast, jutting portions of the small tunnel''s uneven ceiling scraped her back, but she couldn¡¯t afford to stall. As she progressed toward the source of the sound, the temperature steadily dropped.

    She pushed herself out into a small cavern and came face-to-face with a stark white deer-like creature. It had long, translucent antlers, fading from white at the stems and slightly sharp at the tips. It opened its mouth and let out a drawn-out high-pitched sound that strained at the limits of the sounds Aster could hear.

    Frost started snaking up Aster¡¯s arm nearest the creature. It must¡¯ve been the source of the uncharacteristic cold here; this layer didn¡¯t usually drop to these temperatures on its own.

    Aster brushed the frost off as she rolled away and tried to scramble to her feet. Before she could fully stand, the creature¡¯s antlers rapidly elongated, some of the branches darting toward her. She stumbled backward and something crunched under her boot. She narrowly avoided slipping on a shard of the broken lantern and risked a glance backward.

    A Lucenari huddled there, and she recognized them as the Lantern she¡¯d been tracking. Hyacinth, the Lantern that Aster admired most of those she¡¯d met. He stood and stepped up beside her as she whirled back around to face the creature of the Depths. As she did so, she whipped a dagger out of its sheath on her belt, elbowing her cloak away from her lantern so it shone more openly on the creature.

    It let out another screech-like sound, forced to retract its antlers from the light, despite their translucence offering some amount of protection from it. Neither the translucence nor pale colors could fully avoid or reflect all the light, but the colors and patterns nonetheless attempted to protect their hosts.

    Aster slashed her dagger through the air, and it cut a long, thin sliver of light away from the rest, shooting toward the creature. Hyacinth cut out a few smaller slashes of light to accompany hers.

    The creature made an attempt to dodge the pieces of light, but couldn''t get out of the way in time. It shimmered and quickly faded into translucency a second before it was hit, becoming mostly intangible. Several of the blades of light passed through the creature and shattered to dust on the cavern wall beyond.

    It screeched again, louder this time, the sound gaining a hollow, echoing quality as the air escaped differently than when it had been mostly tangible. Aster''s ears started ringing.

    As she prepared another strike, trying to carve it out more strategically this time, Hyacinth lurched forward suddenly. "Aster!"

    Aster barely had time to react as a boar-like creature of the Depths came hurtling toward her. She gasped, stumbling backward, but wasn''t able to get herself far enough out of the way in time.

    Before the boar could quite reach her, Hyacinth was there. He slashed a curtain of light in front of her, but not before the creature rammed into his leg. And in that sliver of a moment, a tendril of the Dark snaked out and struck at a new wound inflicted by the creature''s tusks.

    ¡°No-!¡± Aster heard herself shout. Not that it''d help. Hyacinth staggered back. She could hear his breath quicken.

    She bit back an apology. That would come later. She turned back around and cut out a quick series of blades of light toward the creatures of the dark. In the moments that bought her, she supported Hyacinth in getting back a little further and helped him to the ground, handing him two of her brightest echo crystals. He seemed to want to object to being pushed out of the battle, but was in no state to do it, at least not yet. "Stay behind me," she breathed, whipping back around and taking a few steps forward.

    She hoped neither Hyacinth nor the monsters could see that she was shaking.

 Chapter 2 - Delaying the Inevitable

    Aster hated these moments when she couldn¡¯t forget how much people were depending on her. She hated that she had to let them trust her.

    But, none of that could matter right now, of course. Aster slashed her knife through the light with renewed determination, or at least adrenaline. She chose a specific pattern this time, pouring into it light and heat she¡¯d stored up. The blades of light blossomed out toward the creatures. The deer reared back, and the boar shied away. Aster threw down several small glowing echo crystals at their feet and edged toward the tunnel she¡¯d come through, getting in front of the entrance to guard it.

    She was about to direct Hyacinth toward it, but faltered when she glanced toward him. Aster saw him hunched forward with glazed-over eyes, clutching his chest, trying to breathe. Hyperventilating.

    A dark feeling settled in her stomach. I did this. If I¡¯d just...

    There wasn¡¯t any time for that.

    ¡°Can you get to the tunnel?¡±

    That seemed to bring Hyacinth back to the present moment, at least. Aster hated asking him to do anything more, especially in his current state, but he managed to shakily climb to his feet.

    Aster turned back toward the monsters from the Depths as the deer let out another shriek, this time even louder as several blades of light seared its side, despite its efforts to avoid it. The boar had managed to avoid the attack, and was pawing at the ground in preparation for another charge.

    She scattered more crystals in front of the ones she¡¯d already dropped, moving the line of defense further forward. She could hear Hyacinth disappearing down the tunnel. She launched one more attack, picked up the broken lantern, and scrambled after him.

    She could hear him in the tunnel ahead of her, but he soon reached the end and moved away from the entrance. Aster could see the light from the crystals she¡¯d given him shining from beyond the tunnel. She slipped out and did a quick sweep of the room, turning so her lantern would shine around her and give her an idea of everything that was there. Then she turned back toward the tunnel with her knife ready, waiting to see if anything came through. The deer definitely couldn¡¯t fit, and the boar probably wouldn¡¯t either, but it was best to be safe. She heard some scrabbling at the other end of the tunnel, then all went quiet. She waited for a few more moments, but nothing happened.

    Finally, she let out a breath and turned. Aster would¡¯ve breathed a sigh of relief, but... she turned her gaze to Hyacinth and all semblance of relief left her mind as she properly took in his state.

    He¡¯d made to start treating his wound, but appeared to have stopped, staring blankly at it. He dropped his hands from near it, seeming numb, his eyes haunted.

    A tendril of the Dark snaked toward his wound, misty and indistinct. Aster cried out, cutting a shred of light from her lantern toward it. It wasn¡¯t warm enough to hurt Hyacinth even if it hit him, and it only severed the length of Dark before it could reach him. She hurried to place crystals around him, preventing the Dark from reaching toward him again, at least for the moment. She hesitated and reached partway toward the bandage he held.

    ¡°We can treat it,¡± she said softly.

    ¡°It doesn''t matter,¡± He murmured. ¡°It¡¯s a waste of a good bandage. I¡¯m...¡± He trailed off.

    ¡°Hyacinth...¡±

    He seemed to try to force a smile, which only appeared faintly. ¡°It¡¯s okay. All the things that would have been used to help and sustain me can do a lot of good elsewhere now.¡±

    ¡°No. No,¡± Aster said firmly. She paused, feeling numb. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Hyacinth. If I¡¯d been faster, if I¡¯d been more careful, this wouldn¡¯t have happened. But you¡¯re wrong. You¡¯re wrong that things are over for you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, Aster. You know these things happen. No matter how well we do, no matter how brave and careful and skilled we are... it¡¯s just a fact of life. An inevitability. Part of being a Lantern, part of venturing into the Depths.¡± He pressed the bandage into her hands. ¡°You can keep this. You don¡¯t have to convince yourself that anything different could have happened, or that there¡¯s anything we can do now. It¡¯s alright.¡± Aster opened her mouth to object, but he kept talking, his gaze falling away from her eyes. ¡°And - no one¡¯s waiting for me at home anyway. No one is really depending on me to come back. The pain won¡¯t last long, after I¡¯m gone. I¡¯ll just have to... make sure I can''t hurt anyone once I''m a Shade.¡± His eyes darkened as he said that. The pit in Aster¡¯s stomach yawned wider at the possible implications left there.

    ¡°Hyacinth, no. I promise you that you¡¯re wrong. I¡¯m not in denial. I understand you¡¯ve been Tainted, you¡¯ve begun Darkening, and if we allow it to progress, you¡¯ll become a denizen of the Depths.¡± Aster placed a small glowing crystal on the ground, wrapped in a clean cloth, and crushed it. ¡°But you¡¯re wrong that we can¡¯t stop the Darkening.¡± She spread the crystal dust on the sterile side of the bandage.

    ¡°I know it can be slowed, but that¡¯s just... a way of ignoring what we know will happen. We can¡¯t slow it down by much, they¡¯ve tried. I may as well be dead now, for all we can do to change my fate. The best I can do is be useful up until I lose myself.¡±

    Aster paused and met his eyes. ¡°They¡¯ve lied to us.¡± She took a deep breath. ¡°Do you promise to listen to me? To at least hear me out, and to keep the secrets I¡¯m about to tell you once you understand why?¡±

    Hyacinth studied her. She could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes, which he seemed to be trying to suppress. ¡°I promise.¡±

    She held his gaze for a moment longer, trying to gauge his sincerity. She didn¡¯t believe he¡¯d lie to her, though. Not unless he thought it would protect someone, at least if her idea of him was accurate. ¡°My father was Tainted almost three years ago.¡±

    Surprise flashed across his expression. ¡°Your... father?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ve seen the mark, the inky blood, his pain at reacting to light... I¡¯ve been helping him treat the mark and the Darkening for as long as I¡¯ve known about it. I¡¯ve seen the Dark attack him when he...¡± She took in a breath and slowly let it go. ¡°Well, when he came here to save me once. The only time the Darkening progressed was when he ventured into the Depths for me. I¡¯ve been helping him keep his secret, keep him from being taken away. He¡¯s still in the early stages of the Darkening, after all this time. He¡¯s alive, Hyacinth.¡± She held his gaze again. ¡°Just like you will be. Just like Mira will be. I¡¯ll stop this all, somehow. Being Tainted can¡¯t keep being a death sentence. We can¡¯t allow it.¡±

    Hyacinth was quiet for a long moment, then a tear traced his cheek. He bowed his head and wept. At first, it seemed, from relief, then he seemed to think of something and covered his face, crying harder. ¡°So she... she didn¡¯t have to die here...¡±

    Aster hesitated, then moved to his side, offering her shoulder like another Lantern had for her when Orion had disappeared. That Lantern was gone now too.

    Hyacinth kept trying to wipe his tears, but he couldn¡¯t keep up with them. At some point he gave up on that and instead wrapped his arms around himself. Eventually he slumped to the side, leaning on her shoulder. Some of his tears dripped down onto her cloak, but none of it sank deep enough for Aster to feel.

    She¡¯d never imagined being the one to comfort someone she looked up to. Just another chance to pretend to be something I¡¯m not. But... if it helps, I¡¯ll take that place. Whatever it takes. Just as long as I avoid making things worse that way.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    As the tears slowed, he sat up, trying to take deep breaths and regain his composure. It seemed to prove more difficult than he¡¯d expected. Aster kept her attention elsewhere, carefully preparing the bandage, her lantern, and a shade cloth.

    Hyacinth managed to regain control, and Aster turned to him again. "I need to shine the lantern on the wound for a little while. It will hurt, but it''ll also slow the inkblood¡¯s spread. Is that okay?"

    Hyacinth drew in a deep breath to steady himself and nodded, seeming to not entirely trust his voice yet. Aster did as she''d said, shining the light at its brightest toward the Taint mark on his leg. He immediately tensed up, grimacing, but didn''t move his leg. His hand twitched as if to cover the light, but he sat still. Aster watched with concern and guilt. She''d seen her father like this time and time again, but it never stopped being painful to watch - and more painful to bear, she was sure. What did it take, to just sit and suffer it?

    She couldn''t help but imagine Mira sitting there this way, grimacing at the pain.

    She tried to shake that thought away, and watched as the wisps of the Dark festering in the wound recoiled at the brightness. Several of them dispersed, and the dark blood would stop seeping further into nearby vessels and tainting them.

    If they had surgeons trained in it, could they remove the Taint altogether if they caught it at an early enough stage? Aster was far from a trained surgeon, but she could hope that one day, they could conquer the Dark.

    None of that would come so early in Hyacinth''s Darkening though. How long would he be stuck in the Depths? She couldn''t let him go back, not as a Tainted Lantern, but trying to get him beyond the Depths without significantly progressing the Darkening...

    I have to be able to do this. I have to get them out.

    Aster closed the lantern and placed it behind her, shielding Hyacinth from the worst of the light, and carefully wrapped the bandage around his wound, with the crystal dust facing it. The pain evidently lessened significantly, and Hyacinth breathed a sigh of relief, easing back. "I suppose I''ll need to release the light I have stored up, at some point?"

    "Not yet, I don''t think, but once your eyes become more sensitive to the light, you can do that and put this on." She handed him the shade cloth. He nodded, then took it and tucked it away somewhere.

    He met her eyes. ¡°Thank you, Aster.¡±

    She looked away. ¡°I¡¯m... just doing what I should. Especially since it was my fault that you...¡± She trailed off, clenching her fists on her knees, but then made herself finish the sentence. ¡°That you were Tainted. You were protecting me, and you took an attack meant for me.¡± She closed her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Hyacinth.¡±

    ¡°No, you were protecting me. Without you, it could¡¯ve been much worse. This wasn¡¯t your fault. I doubt I could¡¯ve gotten out of this without being Tainted.¡±

    ¡°You have before, countless times.¡±

    He shrugged. ¡°I broke my lantern today. I¡¯ve only done that two other times, and both times I narrowly escaped being Tainted. This time I ended up cornered, and I might never have found that low tunnel if it weren¡¯t for you.¡± He paused. ¡°This wasn¡¯t your job anyway, was it?¡±

    ¡°What makes you say that?¡±

    ¡°I know what you do. How you keep taking on the Lantern jobs of those that are Tainted or less experienced. Trying to shoulder the danger all on your own. You¡¯ve helped a lot of people. Saved, even.¡±

    Aster stiffened. ¡°I... haven¡¯t done enough. I could¡¯ve done more. You do more of it as it is.¡±

    Hyacinth went quiet, studying her. ¡°I think you do enough. I¡¯d... have to say I admire you, really. We¡¯re all colleagues, as Lanterns, but you¡¯re one of the few I can see trying to do the exact same work as me.¡± He hesitated. ¡°It¡¯s fine if you¡¯re not comfortable with praise, but please try to be more fair to yourself.¡±

    Aster started a bit. She hadn¡¯t expected him to say that. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I suppose this is a bit out of character for me, isn¡¯t it?¡± She chuckled weakly and sat back, trying to relax her tensed muscles, trying to put the mask on again. Pretend to be some kind of hero, again. Pretend she wasn¡¯t desperate to preserve the assurance that Hyacinth would pick up the pieces where she inevitably failed.

    She finally breathed a delayed sigh of relief, which mixed strangely with the adrenaline still thrumming through her body. She could feel herself still shaking just a bit, though it¡¯d lessened significantly. Aster tried on a slight smile.

    ¡°What now?¡± Hyacinth asked.

    "Now..." That was going to be difficult. "I can''t let you go back. I can''t let them send you to your death."

    "So, you mean... I''ll need to go beyond the Depths?"

    Aster nodded, trying to appear more confident than she felt. "We''ll get you somewhere safe, and I''ll go back for Mira and my dad. Then... We''ll take that journey."

    "What about all the others that are Tainted?"

    Aster looked down, ashamed that she thought less about them. She almost said she didn''t know. But that wasn''t something a hero would say, was it? Hyacinth... wouldn''t go if he didn''t believe they were in capable hands, would he? "I''ll come back for them. I promise. I just... don''t yet have a plan for how to save them." So quick to make promises. I hope you¡¯re not so quick to break them. Aster winced slightly at the thought, but tried to pull herself back into the present moment.

    Hyacinth nodded. He closed his eyes for a moment, clenching his hands on his knees. "What if I stay behind with them? Find a way out from the inside?"

    Aster looked up sharply. "No! I can''t let you..." She trailed off.

    "Die with them? Suffer with them? If nothing else... maybe one of us should. Be with them, offer them hope, or comfort at least."

    "You could help more people if you live, Hyacinth. Please."

    He let out a breath. "They just... shouldn''t be alone."

    "I know." Aster thought of Orion, struggling to get free in that alcove he''d been trapped in the last time he was ever seen. She closed her eyes. "I know." She''d thought countless times about what might have happened if she''d stayed, heedless of Orion almost seeming to plead that she leave. What was behind that? What would have changed if he just hadn¡¯t been alone?

    She opened her eyes again. That was why she had to learn. She had to be better. She had to be able to save them, to stop just pretending.

    "But they''ll need you on the other side too. It''s dangerous enough just coming from our side, but being Tainted...? Everything there will be against you all. I can''t leave them alone when I go back."

    Hyacinth paused, then nodded. "You''re right. I''ll go."

    She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. At least they''ll have a chance, she found herself thinking. No, not just them. I''ll have to make a chance for the others. They can''t slip through the cracks because of me. But a voice at the back of her mind still whispered, But this is all so you have a safety net. It''s all about damage control. You know you''ll fail eventually. You know pretending can only get you so far. So you try to make sure other people can save as many as possible, so you can feel a little less guilty.

    Hyacinth''s voice pulled her out of those thoughts. She didn¡¯t have anything to say to them anyway. "How will we get through the Depths without losing our names?"

    "I''ve seen some passages here that seem untouched by the Dark, with natural light filtering in. If we can find a consistent enough line of those, we can escape through it. Otherwise, risking more Dark exposure, or else... well, there''s always the mountain plains above. Going over the mountains instead of through and under them."

    Hyacinth took a deep breath. "We''ll... have to see, I suppose." He leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. Their lights didn''t reach that far. Aster followed his gaze, staring into the fathomless darkness. This was a tall cavern, in stark contrast to the smaller one past the low tunnel. Come to think of it, she should¡¯ve been more careful of the open space above them when settling down in this room.

    ¡°We need to get you somewhere with natural light. Or at least less of the Dark, whatever we can manage.¡± Aster unfolded one of her maps, first trying to locate where they were. Hyacinth craned his neck to look at the map, and she lowered it so they could both see.

    ¡°You¡¯ve kept updating your maps?¡±

    Aster pushed down the guilt that rose at that and nodded. ¡°I don¡¯t know why they didn¡¯t seem to be helping, but... I use them, and I let others use them when I can. Just, privately.¡± She paused. ¡°Whoever¡¯s in charge of the Lanterns doesn¡¯t seem to have any genuine concern for us.¡±

    Hyacinth went quiet for a moment, seeming to hesitate. ¡°Maybe not, but some of the overseers seem to, at least.¡±

    Aster nodded reluctantly. ¡°Some seem to. I just... need to fix things in a more permanent way, you know?¡±

    ¡°I understand.¡± He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a small moment. ¡°I¡¯ve just been focusing on trying to survive, and trying to make sure others do, for so long. You¡¯re not the only one that wishes they could¡¯ve done more, all this time.¡±

    ¡°No one blames you. Just like you don¡¯t blame me.¡±

    Hyacinth smiled. ¡°Thank you.¡± He shifted and tested his injured leg, then slowly stood. Aster stood with him, hovering nearby in case he needed help. He winced, but stayed upright and nodded to her. ¡°We can go now. Is there somewhere safe I can wait where I can watch the main entrance?¡±

    Aster took a moment to consider. ¡°I think so.¡± She prepared her things, checked her map for a moment, and led the way out.

 Chapter 3 - Unsealing Fate

    Aster trudged along the invisible path, checking her map every so often and trying not to think of the myriad ways this could all go horribly wrong.

    She''d walked this path many times before, but it sure didn''t remember her in return, still appearing like any other cavern on this level of the Depths. Lots of moss, mostly. It was a shortcut back to the entrance from the safe alcove where she''d left Hyacinth to wait.

    It wouldn''t be long now before she could walk out into the sunlight again - though that admittedly wasn''t going to be bright for very long, as the sun was in a waning phase. A Darkday would come soon. How could they plan around that, if they were to get Tainted people out and to safety? Wouldn''t put it past the stars to align in exactly the wrong way, just for me.

    She remembered her father''s pain on Darkdays, even just at home where they had access to everything they usually did. That almost made it worse, because they could make extensive preparations to keep him from Darkening further. Subjecting him to so much more light than he usually had to endure.

    She would find a way to improve things for him. Make a solution, even if there wasn''t one yet. On the days the sun abandoned them, they took the night-day in stride. They made their own light, their own warmth. She would do that for them, even if she had to be the one to discover fire, so to speak. Well, at least... she''d try. If nothing else, she could put in a good effort.

    Even if it didn''t end up helping.

    Aster pulled herself out of her thoughts. One step at a time. First, she had to go back and get Mira and her dad.

    She stepped out into the light and tried to imagine that she''d already failed, to make it appear more convincing that she hadn''t been able to find Hyacinth. She didn''t like how easy it was to imagine that.

    It was just pretending. Like how she pretended to be competent, but more reali- no. No, she just did what she had to do. That was all.

    Aster took a deep breath and made her way over to this entrance''s checkpoint, a precaution set up to try to make sure people couldn''t get through here if a creature of the Depths had taken control of them. She went through the routine checks - she was watched over as she ensured her sources of light were intact and there weren¡¯t any obvious vulnerable points that shadows could significantly collect in - and then headed towards Andromeda.

    Aster let out a deep breath, stopping in front of her.

    ¡°You couldn¡¯t find him?¡±

    Aster held up Hyacinth¡¯s broken lantern. ¡°The light led me to this.¡± Not technically a lie.

    Andromeda didn¡¯t seem very surprised, but disappointed, at least. She sighed. ¡°I suppose you intend to go back out with her when I send Mira to search.¡±

    Aster nodded firmly.

    The Lantern Overseer reached out to take the broken lantern. ¡°I¡¯ll... keep this, in case I have to give it to his family - ah, his loved ones, here.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d rather deliver it myself if such a time comes.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d rather put yourself through that?¡± She paused briefly. ¡°And what if you don¡¯t come back?¡±

    ¡°Then you¡¯ll have two broken lanterns to deliver.¡± Aster bowed respectfully. ¡°I¡¯ll bring Mira with me to prepare before we go.¡±

    Andromeda let out another sigh. ¡°As you wish.¡±

    Mira spotted Aster and trudged over with a pack slung over her shoulder. ¡°You need to prepare, then?¡± Everything Mira said felt so hollow to herself, but it wasn¡¯t worth the trouble to fix that, was it?

    Aster nodded. ¡°Do you mind stopping by my house?¡±

    Mira just shook her head, so they set off, Aster leading the way.

    A little while into their walk, Aster glanced at her. ¡°Have you ever met my dad?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Why?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d like you to meet him. He¡¯s...¡± She hesitated, seeming to think better of what she was about to say. Why? What was it, ¡®good with kids¡¯? ¡°Someone I think you¡¯d get along with.¡± Probably was. I¡¯m not really a kid, but I¡¯m also not really anything anymore.

    Mira almost stopped in her tracks, but pushed herself to keep walking, not wanting to delay them. ¡°Aster... what¡¯s the point?¡±

    Aster met her eyes. Mira resisted the urge to look away. Should she try to fix her expression, or otherwise draw attention away from her empty-seeming eyes? She knew she looked different than she had before the Taint, even where it hadn¡¯t yet changed her appearance. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best to show you. Please. Don¡¯t give up on yourself.¡±

    Mira went silent for a small moment. ¡°I appreciate you trying to make it less painful,¡± she said softly. More for Aster¡¯s sake than out of sincerity, but¡­ Aster deserved appreciation for how hard she tried to be kind, right? Even though sometimes it hurt more than if she¡¯d just left her alone. Mira couldn¡¯t figure out which she actually preferred, though.

    Once they reached the house, Aster knocked a few times, then produced a key, unlocked the door, and opened it.

    ¡°Why¡¯d you knock if you were just going to use the key?¡± Mira asked.

    ¡°If my dad is here, he likes it when I give him a bit of warning before coming in.¡±

    Mira nodded slightly to show she¡¯d heard. Is he paranoid about something, or is that just a personal preference? They stepped inside.

    Aster¡¯s father poked his head out of a doorway down the hall and smiled at them. ¡°Welcome back! Want to introduce yourself, Aster¡¯s friend?¡±

    Mira put on a smile that didn¡¯t reach her eyes and gave a slight bow. ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Miralis, a fellow Lantern. Most people call me Mira. It¡¯s nice to meet you.¡±

    ¡°Good to meet you too. I¡¯m Fennel Isanne-Painotsik.¡± Wait, was I supposed to include surnames in my introduction? Fennel left his room and headed toward the kitchen to their left, walking with a slight limp. ¡°Anything you¡¯d like to drink? I have some featherbark tea bags, water, asper juice...¡±

    ¡°Ah... featherbark tea, I suppose.¡±

    Fennel nodded, and went to work preparing it.

    ¡°I thought you said we came here to prepare to go?¡± Mira looked at Aster.

    ¡°We came here for a few reasons. That¡¯s one of them. Don¡¯t worry, this shouldn¡¯t take too long. Dad just likes to make things comfortable. We can sit down.¡± Aster pulled out a chair for Mira, then sat down in the next chair over, folding her arms loosely on the table.

    Mira hesitantly sat down.

    ¡°Mira... can you keep a secret, if keeping it protects people?¡±

    She looked at Aster, inquisitive. ¡°If it doesn¡¯t also harm anyone, then yes.¡±

    ¡°The secret I want to tell you... the fact that it¡¯s a secret does harm a lot of people, but revealing it too early or too recklessly could make it harder to start unraveling that harm. I won¡¯t ask you to keep it from people that need to know it unless it has a real chance of causing even more harm.¡±

    Mira rubbed her arm, uncomfortable. ¡°What¡¯s the point in telling me?¡±

    If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

    ¡°It¡¯s the reason behind the hope I have for you.¡±

    That sparked a glimmer of hope in Mira, which she immediately tried to smother. She took a shaky breath. ¡°Aster... I¡¯m scared that whatever it is, it could just make things worse. What if you¡¯re wrong?¡±

    ¡°I have proof.¡±

    ¡°I heard you talking to Andromeda. You made it sound like you don¡¯t have proof.¡±

    ¡°The Overseers are some of the main perpetuators of the lies they tell instead. Some of the people keeping the secret, though I don¡¯t think many of them actually know the truth. You don¡¯t have to trust me if I turn out to be wrong this time. I just need you to trust me enough to hear the secret, and promise not to share the secret recklessly, if you end up believing the reasons I keep it hidden most of the time.¡±

    Mira paused, mind racing, trying to consider carefully. She wouldn¡¯t force me into anything. Aster at least deserves for me to hear her out, doesn¡¯t she? She clenched her fists on her knees, took a deep breath, and tried to relax. ¡°Okay. I can do that.¡±

    Aster looked up. ¡°Dad?¡±

    Fennel nodded, still turned away to prepare the tea, but he soon turned and closed the curtains. He walked to the table and took a seat across from them, then rolled up the sleeve on his left arm, uncovering a dark bandage tied around his upper arm. He unraveled it, revealing a jagged Taint mark. The center looked like an old wound, maybe a scar, with pitch-black blood.

    Mira took in a sharp breath.

    He looked up to meet Mira¡¯s eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve been Tainted for almost three years. Aster has been helping me manage it, and the Darkening hasn¡¯t progressed while I¡¯ve been out of the Depths.¡±

    ¡°I know it might be hard to believe,¡± Aster added. ¡°You don¡¯t have to believe us immediately. You can think it over, try to think if there¡¯s any reason we could have for wanting to deceive you. The Taint isn¡¯t recorded, of course - we have to keep it hidden, or they¡¯ll make him serve as a Lantern until he Darkens fully - but you can check the records of people that have entered and exited the Depths. He hasn¡¯t gone in years.¡± Aster smiled with some combination of relief and pride.

    Mira didn¡¯t speak for a long moment, her gaze lingering on the Taint mark, then falling to her hands that were clenched on her knees again. Her mind usually seemed loud to her, but that seemed like ordinary wind compared to the whirlwind it seemed to be now. Is that¡­ definitive proof? Is that enough information? Can I trust them, is it too good to be true, do I just want to believe it, and so it sounds reasonable? It would explain why she tries so hard¡­ but¡­ why would they do this to me? Why would they do this to so many of us, what could they possibly gain?

    I should check those records they mentioned. Won¡¯t it hurt more if they turn out to be wrong? I don¡¯t think they¡¯re lying to me, I don¡¯t think I have any good reason to believe they are, I¡­

    Is it okay to believe them?

    A tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away, and tried to hold back her quiet sobs of relief. She took a deep breath, struggling to reclaim her voice. ¡°I- I can live?¡± She finally said.

    ¡°You can live, Mira.¡± Aster spoke earnestly.

    ¡°We¡¯ll do everything we can to make sure of it.¡± Fennel grinned, and wrapped up his mark again. ¡°I won¡¯t lie to you, it will be hard to learn to deal with everything that comes with being Tainted. But, you¡¯ll have a seasoned Tainted guy to show you the ropes.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Mira said softly. She didn¡¯t know what else to say. ¡°Thank you so much.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m glad we finally got to tell you.¡± Aster smiled warmly. She took a deep breath, turning to Fennel. ¡°We¡¯re... going to have to leave.¡±

    He sighed softly and nodded. ¡°I knew it was bound to happen someday.¡± He stared into space for a moment. Mira wasn¡¯t sure what he was thinking about, but Aster had a similar expression.

    Fennel seemed to pull himself back to reality, and Aster followed suit. He stood up and went to finish preparing the drinks. Mira looked at Aster. ¡°Leave?¡± she echoed anxiously. ¡°And you knew you might have to?¡±

    Aster met her eyes. ¡°It''s not safe for you here anymore, since they know you''ve been Tainted. So... we go to the other side. Beyond the Starless Depths. There''s one more person I need to get out too, for now, and going will help dad be safer too. And¡­ we might be able to find my mother there, if she did make it beyond the Depths all that time ago.¡±

    Mira gripped her own hands tightly. ¡°How will we survive?¡±

    Aster tapped the table edge. ¡°I¡¯ve found cracks of light through some tunnel ceilings. We¡¯ll find routes that keep you all out of the Dark as much as possible. It¡¯ll be a difficult journey, but we¡¯ll make it. Especially with a team of experienced Lanterns.¡± She tried a slight smile. She was obviously nervous about it, but it was hard to tell to what extent.

    ¡°We''ll... do our best, I suppose.¡± Mira took a long, deep breath, closing her eyes for that moment. ¡°It''s much more hope than I ever had before. What about my parents?¡± She hesitated. ¡°My father is an Overseer. It wouldn''t be safe to tell them, would it?¡± Fennel slid over a cup of tea for Mira and a cup of asper juice for Aster. ¡°Thank you,¡± Mira said. He nodded and sat down with his own cup of featherbark tea.

    ¡°If you think one or both of them would divulge the information, then... well, we can''t risk that, but are they just letting you go?¡± Aster looked at her, concerned, then quickly turned to her drink to take a sip.

    Mira started fidgeting. ¡°Well, they think I''m as doomed as I thought I was. They just want me to do as much good as I can before I lose my name and become a Shade. They''ve already said their goodbyes and have been grieving, last I knew... I, um, haven''t visited home for a while. Everything I need is at my room in the Lantern dorms.¡±

    Neither Aster nor her dad seemed certain how to respond to that. Mira drew into herself a little more. I know. I know. I¡¯m sorry, should I have said less? Am I burdening them? Should I break the silence? How do I make it no one¡¯s fault? How do I fix all of this?

    ¡°Um, would you want me to come back for them, once I''ve gotten all the Tainted people out?¡± Aster said.

    ¡°They''d want to know I''d survived, at least. I don''t know if they''d trust you, though.¡± Mira bit her lip, clutching at the hem of her shirt by her sides. ¡°Maybe I can come back, eventually. Maybe... we can fix this place, one day?¡±

    ¡°I''ll do everything I can to fix it. I don''t know where these secrets and corruptions come from, but I''ll do my best to fix it regardless. First I just need to ensure the safety of as many Tainted people as I can, though.¡± Aster¡¯s determination and confidence was¡­ comforting. It just doesn¡¯t mean that¡¯ll be enough.

    ¡°Not just you. I intend to do my utmost as well,¡± Fennel added.

    Aster hesitated, then nodded. ¡°Thank you.¡± She took another sip of juice.

    Mira took a long sip of tea and set the cup down. ¡°I''ll need to head back to my dorm and pack.¡± She stared into the cup.

    ¡°We''ll need to pack too. Can I come help you if I have time?¡± Aster looked up from the dishes she¡¯d gathered.

    ¡°If you want to. I, uh, don¡¯t have much. And we''ll meet at the main entrance to the Depths once we¡¯re all ready?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that should work.¡±

    Mira drank the rest of her tea in one more long sip. It wasn¡¯t a large cup. Aster and Fennel started to clear the table.

    Mira opened her mouth and closed it again, hesitating, then spoke. ¡°Do you, uh, want any help packing? You aren¡¯t planning to come back here for a while, are you?¡±

    Aster blinked. ¡°Oh. Yeah, we¡­ probably won¡¯t live here again in the foreseeable future. Maybe not ever.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d like to help, if I won¡¯t get in the way.¡±

    ¡°You won¡¯t get in the way, that¡¯s my job,¡± Fennel piped up from across the kitchen. He smiled good-naturedly. ¡°I can guarantee I¡¯ll take up more space and trip over more things than either of you.¡±

    ¡°I dunno, I¡¯m pretty talented at tripping. Is that a challenge, dad?¡±

    His smile widened, gaining a devious glint in his eye as he looked at Aster. ¡°If you so desire. Can¡¯t say I didn¡¯t warn you, I did say I can guarantee it.¡±

    Mira looked back and forth between them, raising an eyebrow at the¡­ mock competition? She paused, hoping she wasn¡¯t misinterpreting. ¡°Um, what about misplacing things? I might have an unfair advantage there, since I¡¯ve never lived here.¡±

    ¡°Right you are. Glad you¡¯re on my team.¡± Aster grinned and looked around the kitchen from a spot she¡¯d taken up by the sink, probably looking for things they¡¯d need to bring.

    Fennel snapped his fingers. ¡°Aw, man. Suddenly this is looking more evenly matched, maybe I should quit while I¡¯m ahead.¡± He chuckled, and also seemed to take stock of the room. He paused for a long moment, gazing at the table, seeming to see memories overlayed on the empty spaces. ¡°I guess it¡¯s time to be grateful to have things to lose.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡± Aster glanced at him. ¡°How do you mean that?¡± Mira was silently grateful Aster had asked, because she hadn¡¯t been sure if she was supposed to understand or not.

    Fennel had a wistful look in his eyes. ¡°As painful as it is to lose things you care about, especially people¡­ I think it¡¯s overall worse to have nothing to lose. Pain from loss points to the love that was there, and I believe it was worth having, however long it lasted. Emptiness, for me at least, cuts deeper.¡± He looked at Mira. ¡°I want you to have things to lose. I don¡¯t want that emptiness to be your most consistent companion.¡±

    Mira stared at him, taken aback. She was uncomfortable, in a way, but it was¡­ different than her usual discomfort. She didn¡¯t know how to respond and she wasn¡¯t sure she knew exactly what he meant, but it felt like¡­ well, it felt genuine, and that was somehow strange to her. ¡°I¡­ thank you? I¡¯m sorry, how would you¡­? What do you mean?¡± That¡­ wasn¡¯t a great response, was it.

    Aster¡¯s dad tilted his head, then laughed. ¡°Sorry, Mira. That was quite a ramble, wasn¡¯t it? I guess I¡¯m trying to skip straight to being a wise old mentor when nobody really knows who the heck I am.¡± He took a breath. ¡°I just¡­ want to make sure you know someone cares, and that you deserve better. And you can have better. Uhh, I¡¯m doing it again. Wrapping up, just, we¡¯re eager to help wherever we can, okay?¡± He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, but smiled warmly and went back to gathering things.

    Mira paused, trying to process what he¡¯d said. She wasn¡¯t fully sure how to feel about it, but¡­ ¡°someone cares¡±. That kept echoing back to her. She¡¯d wondered sometimes if Aster was just helping her or taking care of her out of pity or obligation, and¡­ Mira wasn¡¯t sure it was never that, but something in Aster and Fennel¡¯s earnestness felt like it went beyond that.

    They wanted better for her. They¡¯d fight to get it for her, or at very least they said they would.

    And¡­ for better or for worse, Mira found herself trying to accept that fragment of hope.

 Chapter 4 - Swallowed by the Depths

    Aster glanced at a clock. Wow, it took him less than an hour to emotionally adopt another kid. I wonder if that¡¯s a record for him.

    It was hard to judge what things they could take with them. Aster found herself falling back on her Lantern training, packing mostly for an extended venture into the Depths.

    It didn¡¯t take as long as Aster felt it should¡¯ve. How long could she justify lingering for her own sensibilities? Was there any purpose in that in the first place?

    Questions like that were hard, since it felt like she had to answer them in order to know if she could even really spend that time on them. It was something of a paradox.

    Not for the first time, Aster had to shake herself out of her thoughts and focus on the next step ahead of her.

    As he rummaged around in the spare canes he¡¯d collected, trying to figure out how many they could take, Fennel abruptly whipped out his favorite cane in his off hand, lazily leaning against the table with a careless grin on his face. (Well, at least, the expression didn''t betray the countless cares Aster knew he had swimming around in there.) He held up the cane in an approximate fencing position, leveled toward Aster. ¡°En garde.¡±

    Aster gave a short laugh through her nose. She picked up the nearest sword-passing shape, which turned out to be a chopstick. It seemed unfair that Fennel got to have such a longer, sturdier weapon, so she flipped the second chopstick in the air, caught it first try*, and fell into a stance of her own, facing down her dad.

    (*Well, she did have to turn it around afterwards, but that wasn¡¯t important.)

    It was an interesting challenge, trying to simultaneously fight and win and also to avoid any risk of injuring your opponent. In that sense, it wasn¡¯t quite as unevenly matched as it could¡¯ve been, since most advantages they could have in one way would mean more work for the opposite goal. Aster had vaguely realized before that they¡¯d taken to doing this kind of thing more and more as they came to depend on each other over time.

    Aster and Fennel exchanged a few blows on their ¡°swords¡± before a small sound pulled them out of their reverie. They turned almost in unison - Fennel had to finish up his poke first - and looked at Mira, who had just cleared her throat, and had an expression of utter bemusement on her face.

    Fennel just blinked a few times. Aster awkwardly coughed into her fist. ¡°Uhhh, we¡¯ll call it a draw! I think we¡¯ve gotten a wee bit off track.¡±

    ¡°Hold up, I was clearly winning this time-¡±

    ¡°Daad. Time limit.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡± He shook his head. ¡°Clipse, you¡¯re right. Sorry.¡±

    Aster looked around herself at the kitchen, having a vague notion that she¡¯d allowed herself to get distracted so she could avoid having to accept how close they already were to being ready. The kitchen was still partially full to give the illusion that they imagined they¡¯d be coming back, not to mention they couldn¡¯t take much.

    This was her childhood home, one of the core locations in which a majority of her memories had taken place. She could imagine countless scenes here, dinner conversations, playing cards together... She clung to the memories with all of them there - her, dad, mom, and Orion - but those memories were fading in time, details blurring together. She¡¯d tried to record what she could, but it never seemed to really capture what she wanted to.

    The memories with just her and dad were fresher, though. They¡¯d still be around for a while. And that made it harder to leave this place behind, not knowing if they¡¯d ever be able to come back here, not knowing what might become of it or of them.

    Everything she cared about most from here would be coming with her, though. Everyone she could bring right now. She didn¡¯t like to admit to herself that part about what she cared about most, though, because that excluded so many people that deserved her help just as much as the people she happened to be close to. But she¡¯d come back for them. She would.

    Aster drew in a deep breath, took one final look, closed her eyes as if to fix it in her memory, and left the house.

    Dad was already standing outside, checking over everything they¡¯d determined to bring. He swung his pack over his shoulder and looked at the house wistfully, like Aster had been.

    He seemed to tear himself away and shot her a smile. ¡°Time to go help Mira now?¡±

    Aster nodded. They went and helped her finish packing. She hadn¡¯t been kidding, there wasn¡¯t much to be done, though Aster was glad to notice there were at least a few of what seemed to be items sentimental to Mira.

    The three gathered, finally ready, at the safest entrance to the Depths that Aster knew of.

    ¡°Okay. Here we go.¡± Aster suppressed the desire to take a deep breath to steady her nerves, and instead just led the group into the tunnel. She checked behind them every now and then, and once she thought they were out of earshot for anyone outside the tunnel, she spoke again. ¡°There are holes in the ceiling along this route, going at least part of the way. We¡¯ll meet up with Hyacinth along the way, then I¡¯ll investigate other routes that should be safe.¡±

    ¡°So we don¡¯t have much of a plan then, do we?¡±

    Aster briefly closed her eyes, and had to stop herself from pausing longer where she was. ¡°There are too many variables to be able to make a solid plan beforehand. We know what our goals are, we have precautions to keep us safe... and we¡¯ll figure out the rest as it arises.¡±

    Mira let out a breath that seemed like it would¡¯ve been a sigh if she¡¯d let it be. ¡°Alright. I trust you.¡±

    Those words shouldn¡¯t have twisted her stomach the way they did. I¡¯m going to fail them, I¡¯ll end up dragging them down with me when I fail- Aster jumped into a puddle, letting it splash around her and stirring around its bits of algae with her foot, checking for traces of anything dangerous. She hoped it would seem more like a little quirk than as her trying to interrupt her own thoughts. ¡°And I trust all of you.¡± Aster turned to give her a smile, hoping the hesitance didn¡¯t show in her eyes. ¡°We¡¯ll do this together. We¡¯ll protect each other, and we¡¯ll get out of this. There¡¯s a place for us on the other side.¡±

    Aster didn¡¯t wait to see the responses of her companions. She didn¡¯t want to make them affirm it any more than they actually believed. She should try not to make them pretend too, at least.

    As they neared the area Hyacinth would be in, a thought struck her and refused to leave. She sped up, gradually at first, then more and more without fully realizing it. A part of her was suddenly convinced that when they made it to the meeting spot Hyacinth wouldn¡¯t be there-

    Aster stopped as quickly as she could, gasping a sigh of relief as she saw he was there. Of course he was, she¡¯d left him in the safest place she could. It wasn¡¯t like fate directly conspired against her. (Well, at least not as far as she knew... that would be a concept to keep an eye out for.)

    ¡°Are we ready to go, then?¡± Hyacinth asked, giving a nod in greeting to the other two.

    Aster discussed her planned route with him for a moment, trying to ensure she wasn¡¯t crazy or leading them all to easily preventable deaths. Not that any of them could see, so they set off.

    The deeper they traversed into the Starless Depths, the less it felt like it could accurately be called the ¡°first level¡± anymore. The ground rarely stayed completely even and flat, and the rocks faded from earthy browns to more subdued colors. This was reflected in the lower levels too, especially stark if one was descending from Well to Well one after another. Without intentionally descending, though, it only became noticeable after traveling a good distance toward the heart of the mountain range that separated their settlement from the rest of the world.

    Aster took a slow, measured breath, trying to calm herself without making it obvious she was doing so. She¡¯d never liked the feeling of descending deeper into the Depths, whether they were moving between levels or not. It still felt like crossing a threshold either way, from the familiar to the unfamiliar. They lived with the Depths out of necessity, and they did what they could to adapt to it, but it never quite lost its edge of danger and mystery. Aster tried not to forget that, as routine as it was for her to journey inside.

    It seemed to be a widely accepted certainty that one day this place would finally succeed in swallowing her.

    Aster refocused on her breathing and took a drink from the water she carried.

    As they traveled through the mossy, humid caverns, passing into territory mostly left untouched, they started to find the first echo crystals growing on the rock. From the rock? Most of what they knew about them was about their ability to fend off the Dark and its denizens. They still didn¡¯t have much information on why, when, or how they formed, only that they seemed to appear in some kind of cycle, and it tended to be most efficient to collect from accessible areas in scheduled batches.

    The crystals tended to glow white, yellow, or cyan, with varying brightness. There were a few rarer colors, but they knew more about those three. Echo crystals were fairly consistent in size, with some minor variation - generally around half a palm¡¯s width, and a little less than half the length of someone¡¯s forearm.

    The thing that varied most about them was the¡­ sounds they made. They¡¯d always fascinated Aster, and she was sure she wasn''t alone in that. Most of them whispered, or hummed, at least in their natural state. Once they¡¯d been cut and polished for Lantern use, all they did was echo - quietly reverberate any sound that touched them, as well as quickly dwindling echoes of their own crystalline chimes.

    Aster strained to hear the subdued sounds emitted by the crystals, their subtle echoes as they clinked against each other on her group¡¯s clothes, the way the sounds of trickling water interacted with them¡­

    Among everything else, she barely had time to react as she heard a soft creaking sound from directly below her. She tried to jump backward in time, stop her companions, cry out-

    She half-succeeded. She managed to be the only one to fall through the abnormally thin section of ground.

    Time seemed to jolt unevenly as she fell. She tried to orient herself carefully, tried to figure out what was most important to protect, tried to-

    Aster hit the ground foot-first, awkwardly, and crumpled into the shallow water. A shock of pain shot through her legs, mostly the one that had been first to impact. ¡°Aghk...!¡± She gritted her teeth, trying hard to focus on her breathing, trying not to panic.

    Of course. Of course. Maybe I was incompetent after all. She tried not to choke on the growing lump in her throat, tried not to hyperventilate. Blinked back tears.

    Tried to distract herself from the pain and rising panic. Well, I''m getting all kinds of insight into my pain tolerance. I''m sure that''ll end up being useful, if I don''t also just pass out alone deep in the Depths. She switched to a different strategy quickly, since that line of thought wasn''t exactly helping.

    It¡¯s okay. I know what to do now. They¡¯ll... they¡¯ll come look for me. No, they can¡¯t do that... They will anyway. No no no... what have I done?

    ¡°Can...¡± Aster winced, searching the dark air above her. How far had she fallen? How far up was the ceiling? How risky would it be to call up to them? ¡°Can you hear me?¡± She yelled, trying to scrub as much of the pain and fear from her voice as she could.

    ¡°Aster!¡± Her father¡¯s faraway voice came. ¡°Are you o- how bad is it?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s... I think at least my ankle is broken. But I¡¯m... okay. Don¡¯t come down for me. Please.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t just leave you there like that. Please, Aster. We need you.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t let you Darken because of me.¡± Aster blinked hard, traitorous tears streaming down, but mostly not affecting her voice. ¡°Please. Hyacinth knows the route. So do I. Just... get as far as you can, and I¡¯ll try to find you as soon as I can.¡±

    ¡°We can at least try to pull you up by rope.¡± Hyacinth said, and started lowering one through the hole. She could hear it scraping against the side of the ceiling, but she couldn¡¯t see it yet.

    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to slow you down.¡±

    ¡°And we don¡¯t want to risk losing you. Please, Aster,¡± her father said.

    A clacking sound came from the ceiling. Something clattered repeatedly against rock. ¡°Clipse, the hole is closing,¡± Hyacinth¡¯s voice came, and the rope started scraping against the rock faster. ¡°It¡¯s swallowrock.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve dealt with it plenty of times,¡± Aster called back, trying to put confidence into her pained voice. ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°Aster, please-¡±

    ¡°Trust me.¡±

    There was a pause.

    ¡°Okay,¡± Hyacinth finally called back. ¡°Okay. We¡¯ll trust you, Aster.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare not come back,¡± her father called.

    ¡°Please, be careful,¡± Mira said.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be careful. I promise.¡±

    And the hole closed, cutting off the last bit of light from above.

    Aster still had her crystals, though, and her lantern, which had managed to stay unbroken in the fall. She closed her eyes briefly, controlling her breathing, trying to focus on that instead of the pain. The breaths came shakily, but she managed not to hyperventilate for now.

    Okay. Okay. This is easy enough. I know how to get out of this, and I still have a map with me. I know my maps pretty well anyway. There¡¯s nothing overwhelming about this. The throbbing of her ankle kept ramming into the mental walls she was trying to put up, to block it out. The alarms in her head wouldn¡¯t stop ringing, trying to tell her that something was wrong that she needed to address - but she couldn¡¯t mark that message as received, it would just keep pressing and pressing and...

    Breathe. C¡¯mon. There. If she was going to fail anyway after everything she¡¯d done to this point, it couldn¡¯t be to something like this, it wouldn¡¯t be now. Not when she was so close to finally making a difference.

    She finally thought to check the crystal plating on the bottom of her boots, there to add another layer of light protection and another measure to prevent shadow pooling.

    One of them had shattered, and the light was gone.

    Aster felt a stab of panic, but tried to redirect her focus to fixing it. What were the chances of a creature of the Depths noticing this particular moment of vulnerability? True, that could be... bad, this deep in the Depths, but she had time to fix it, then continue as she¡¯d already planned. She didn¡¯t carry replacement footplates with her - she wasn¡¯t in the habit of falling this far on a regular basis, and hadn¡¯t been able to bring much - but she did have assorted echo crystals, and some first aid supplies.

    First order of business. That¡¯s right, get into the rhythm of ¡®working¡¯. Pretending to be a capable person. Anyway. She set a snapper on the ground nearby and lit it with a jolt of light and heat she produced. It lit up and started crackling and making loud, repetitive snapping noises, meant to keep creatures of the Depths at bay for now. The swallowrock wouldn¡¯t start closing in in the early stages of the snapper going off, while the small creatures that spurred it on hesitated because of the light and noise. It¡¯d buy her a bit of time. Swallowrock tended to be one of the more lethargic hazards anyway, especially in the upper levels where they seemed to get fed more often.

    Aster found a medium-sized crystal in her pack, chipped off the remaining shattered pieces of the broken footplate using a knife, and wrapped the replacement crystal in its place with a long reinforced bandage. She wrapped it a few times, then used the rest to complete the makeshift splint.

    She stole a moment to take a few slow, deep breaths, then made herself sit up in a better position, splashing in the shallow water at the bottom of the cavern. There didn¡¯t seem to be a current to it. That was probably good, since water and swallowrock didn¡¯t mix well - or too well, depending on the perspective - but it also meant it was harder to coax open a way out.

    Of course it¡¯s an enclosed swallowrock cavern. Good for them. She let out a frustrated breath. Y¡¯know what? Fine. I don¡¯t have the patience to stagger around in the dark to look for the core.

    Aster opened up a channel from the light she¡¯d stored in her hair, letting it pool in her hand until she¡¯d estimated enough, then tossed it out in a wide arc around her like she was throwing paint. She repeated this in a few calculated patterns, and only had to go through four total iterations before the splatters of light revealed a pale mass of thick threads in a vaguely spherical shape on the wall. The core of this cavern¡¯s swallowrock creatures¡¯ hive mind, or whatever it was. Aster hesitated. She could simply destroy the cluster now. Lanterns were encouraged, though not required, to do so. She wasn¡¯t sure what good the swallowrock caverns did for anyone or anything in the Depths. But... why should it be her that decided? Why should her uncertainty be what determined their fate?

    If she cut the core from the wall, it wouldn¡¯t kill the creatures, somehow. Something about the duller threads connecting the core to the wall weren¡¯t necessary for their survival. They would burrow down, seeking safer habitats deeper in the Depths. But still, was that risking another person¡¯s survival for these creatures she didn¡¯t understand?

    Swallowrock was far from the most dangerous thing people would confront if they ended up being that deep. It was well known nowadays, so most people at least knew the basics of what to do about it. It¡¯d probably do much more good for the creatures than the potential harms that could come from it. Right?

    Aster didn¡¯t have enough information to truly weigh the decision. Maybe it was ultimately just to ease her own conscience a little, but she staggered over to the core and cut it free. She heard chitters of alarm from the ceiling and wall as the creatures felt the change. They rushed toward the core, and Aster stepped back a safe distance as she heard them scrambling to care for it and work on their upcoming move. As they did so, the artificial portions of the cavern would weaken. Aster made her way to a portion of the wall a safe distance away from them and held up her lantern. Sure enough, the discoloration had already begun, and with a few choice kicks from her good leg, Aster was able to break through the weakened swallowrock.

    Aster pushed through and shouldered out of the gap she''d made, swinging her lantern around in front of her to check the area ahead.

    She took out one of her maps and planned a route to get back to the previous level and meet up with the others. For a moment, she was able to fall back into her regular routine. She''d traveled alone as a Lantern hundreds of times by now. She could think of it as... normal, when it was useful to.

    After a while she started to notice a repetitive sound that seemed always just beyond her range of clear hearing. It almost had a rhythm to it, but was too indistinct to be familiar. Sometimes it''d pause and she would think it''d stopped, but it always came back. No matter how she swiveled around or took steps in different directions to try to get closer, its source or direction or rhythm never became clearer. Aster could feel her anxiety rising as she tried to make herself stay calm. Maybe she was imagining it, or it was some strange tactic of a creature of the Depths here. She had no reason to believe it was a threat to her. Then again, she didn''t really have a reason to believe it wasn¡¯t.

    Aster began to feel herself drooping. From... drowsiness? She couldn''t place a reason for it. She was never without some level of exhaustion, but she could tell this was recent. She fought the lethargy, then eventually decided to sit down and check her injury in case it was somehow the cause of these strange phenomena. She arranged echo crystals around herself and pooled a thin layer of light below herself to protect her as she took off the shoe with its protective measures.

    As she carefully slid her foot out of the shoe, she was able to see that the ankle injury seemed entirely internal. She didn''t see any broken skin, even when she took her foot out the rest of the way and found something that made a pit open in her stomach.

    Unbroken skin and no blood, yet a different dark liquid like ink dripping lethargically from near her heel. A pool of the substance was at the bottom of her shoe. She hadn''t been able to feel it.

    The exhaustion compounded suddenly, despite her mounting panic. She reached for her lantern, but her consciousness blinked out before she could get far.

    ¡°Aster¡± took in a few deep breaths, calming the fast-beating heart. It felt a little strange.

    ¡°Aster¡± took back as much of the pool of light as she could, channeling it back into her hair. It''d been so long.

    Next came checking all the echo crystals that were set out, turning them over and over with her hands. None of them sounded right, felt right.

    ¡°Aster¡± checked the maps, carefully planning a route based on the little information they had available, then put everything away, eased the foot back into its shoe, and stood up. They walked several paces before remembering the injured ankle. Right. It was best not to damage it further. The pain from it was slowly becoming more defined, but there was still somewhat of a... haze? Over the entire body. Was that normal? How much of it would resolve?

    It probably wouldn''t matter.

    ¡°Aster¡± tried to accommodate the injury this time. Walk more carefully, step more gently.

    ¡°Aster¡± took a few barely maneuverable shortcuts that weren''t on Aster''s maps and soon made it up to the previous level. Then they headed straight toward a lesser-known exit sloping from that second level, one that didn''t have a checkpoint.

    None of it seemed to take long, but then ¡°Aster¡± reached the exit and stopped short of the light. ¡°Aster¡± felt this body shaking. Well, that seemed unfair. Aster had no reason to fear the light, and neither did her body, even in this state.

    ¡°Aster¡± closed their eyes and stepped forward. They took several more steps, wavered again briefly as the light reached their eyelids, and pushed onward until they managed to convince themself to crack an eyelid open for a peek.

    ¡°Aster¡± hadn''t been sure what to expect, but was struck at how bright it all seemed in that moment. And... colorful. Had colors really always been that distinct? They couldn''t help but cringe back a little, but the pain didn''t come. Not yet at least.

    There wasn''t time to stall like this. ¡°Aster¡± continued forward with a determined stride. It''d been great luck that Aster had just packed for a journey.

    They had to stop every now and then to check the maps, both to avoid the nearest town - Aster¡¯s hometown - and to stay on track toward the place they only had inklings of memory about. Those fragments of memory had been contained in the echoes of a crystal they¡¯d found. That was the only real clue they had.

    The sun peeked through the scaly fan-shaped juniper leaves above. The sun was a waning gibbous that day, so despite how blinding it seemed to them, it wasn¡¯t quite as bright as it could¡¯ve been. It was strange to think about the solar phases again, after so long spent trapped in the Depths.

    ¡°Aster¡± couldn¡¯t help but wonder, would any of their hometown look familiar to them? The sun seemed familiar, which was a good start, but it had never been personal to them in particular. Anything else was all so¡­ vague. Amorphous, like trying to catch the mists of morning dew. They could imagine those impressions if they didn¡¯t try attaching them to any particular experience. They could sense and feel it, but couldn¡¯t hold on to it for any significant amount of time.

    Even the one memory they¡¯d managed to reclaim seemed somehow indistinct, almost like it kept swinging in and out of focus. They¡¯d been able to grasp some details of it, but some of them continued to escape - they could tell that the faces had been there, could make out some features of the people, but couldn¡¯t picture them again.

    Their destination was only a couple hours away, and it didn¡¯t seem to take long as they allowed themself to become immersed in the familiar novelty of their surroundings. The crunch of dirt and rocks and scaly juniper leaves, the rustle of grass underfoot, the way the ground sloped unevenly but steadily downward¡­

    It brought back a feeling of wordless longing, for things painfully unfamiliar now. That longing felt more familiar and real than any memory or experience that should be familiar. Everything from this world that could withstand the light felt like a dream, the kind of dream they would keep slipping back to sleep to try to reach again, the kind where they would scramble to record and hold on to the details and every piece of the experience after it seemed immutably over.

    A part of ¡°Aster¡± was convinced it was all already irreversibly lost. Weren¡¯t they just denying it now, for their own comfort?

    Well. Time would tell.

    ¡°Aster¡± was getting close to their destination, now able to make out the port town spread out in the distance. They weren''t sure how they felt about that. A mix of things, for sure, but they weren''t sure what was foremost in it. Apprehension, maybe. There were so many more ways it could go wrong than right.

    The shapes of the buildings and landscape gradually resolved into clarity.

    There. That was the house. They wavered for a moment, comparing the vague, fluctuating details in their memory to houses around it, but none of the rest fit its silhouette as well as this one. ¡°Aster¡± had a vague, fleeting impression that it was supposed to be full of life.

    They stepped up to the gate. The house was a moderate size, with a large property that appeared to be a large part farmland. It seemed partially neglected, though some crops still grew. A few outdoor children¡¯s toys lay scattered and overgrown on the lawn.

    This didn¡¯t seem to bode well.

    ¡°Aster¡± stepped up to the door and knocked. No one answered. They tried the door and found it locked. They let out an exasperated sigh.

    After circling around back, they found a small shed to the side of the backyard. It was unlocked, and inside they found a collection of garden tools.

    As ¡°Aster¡± stepped inside, though, their left hand automatically traveled down to the side of the doorway and touched a wooden panel. They weren''t sure where that habit came from, but it occurred to them that maybe their muscle memory knew more than they consciously did. They seemed to have interrupted the automatic response, though, so they stepped to the side and felt around the area their hand had indicated. Sure enough, there was a small, nondescript loose panel, and when they opened it, it revealed a little alcove with a key in it.

    Heck yeahh. ¡°Aster¡± checked the back door, found it locked, and tried the key. After turning the key one way, trying the door, then turning it the other way. That time the handle turned, and they pushed the door open triumphantly.

    Sunlight filtered in through the latticed windows and door, lighting motes of dust floating lazily in the air. From all ¡°Aster¡± could tell, it didn¡¯t seem like there were any lights on in the house. There had been no indication of anyone here.

    Around the lump forming in their throat, they called out ¡°Hello?¡±

    They waited. No one answered.

    ¡°Aster¡± swept between each of the rooms, poking their head in, looking for people or any traces that they might return soon. Nothing of the sort.

    This house, the only trace of memory they¡¯d been able to grasp to this point, was empty.

    ¡°Aster¡± allowed themself to fall to their knees in the bedroom they¡¯d found themself in as they came to this certainty. Surely they had a moment of safety to give in to despair for some time. It wasn¡¯t like anyone was watching¡­ well- was Aster, now? How soon? It wasn¡¯t as if either of them had any - or much? - experience with¡­ uh, possession. Yeah, about that-

    ¡°Aster¡± wasn¡¯t sure what it would feel like when Aster ¡°woke up¡±, but their question was quickly answered as one of Aster¡¯s hands moved without their intervention, toward the shoe of her injured foot, and her body shifted so she could reach it.

    ¡°Aster¡± jerked back as they realized what she was doing. They turned to try to get away, but the shared body was receiving mixed messages, and twisted painfully. ¡°Ack-¡± ¡°Aster¡± hesitated, very aware that this body wasn¡¯t theirs, that they were intruding, and that they couldn¡¯t forgive themself if she had any permanent effects from it.

    Aster seized upon that hesitation and managed to get the splint and shoe off. ¡°No¡­!¡± ¡°Aster¡± said, but weren¡¯t able to stop her before they were stunned by the light of an echo crystal Aster had slid across the floor to shine on the entry mark ¡°Aster¡± had left.

    That bought Aster enough time to splatter light across the floor and her foot. As the light contacted the mark, ¡°Aster¡± was cast out.

 Chapter 5 - An Unfamiliar Tune

    Aster stood up, whipped out her knife, prepared her lantern, and took up a defensive position in the corner by the window. She watched as the Shade she¡¯d expelled pooled in the opposite corner, gradually resolving into a translucent humanoid shape with indistinct features. This form appeared vaguely wispy, somehow hazy. They had an impression of short, asymmetrically cut hair, but it didn¡¯t appear fully formed either. Their eyes had dark sclera and darker pupils.

    Aster held her knife at the ready, prepared to cut away shards of light at it - no, Shades at least appeared humanoid, so she didn¡¯t feel comfortable defaulting to ¡®it¡¯. She wasn¡¯t sure how personlike or even conscious they were, but it was probably better to assume they were¡­ some amount of sapient. Wasn¡¯t it? Is that better? What about everything it means? Some of them can talk, can¡¯t they? What does that mean? Is it really just repeating things, as I¡¯ve been told? I already know I can¡¯t trust the source that idea comes from.

    The Shade gasped as they finished forming. Aster tensed, expecting an attack, but they just sat themself upright against the wall, holding up an arm in front of them to shield them from the light. They made no sudden movements, not even to run away. Aster narrowed her eyes, wary. This had to be some kind of trap.

    The Shade started humming.

    Aster blinked. What¡­?

    It was an unfamiliar tune, one she was almost sure she¡¯d never heard, but it didn¡¯t sound like it was being made up on the spot. Even if it was, she¡¯d never heard of Shades having any kind of music. It seemed a little too¡­ human.

    That thought brought her a whole new sense of apprehension, but she tried to push it away. If she wouldn¡¯t face whatever implications it had, who would?

    ¡°Is that¡­ music?¡±

    The Shade stopped and nodded.

    Was that really a nod? Saying yes? ¡°What gesture do you make for saying no?¡± They shook their head. ¡°So you¡­ really nodded. To communicate.¡±

    Another nod.

    ¡°I¡­¡± Aster trailed off, looking down, trying not to fall into the dark hole of the implications that followed. What have I done? It was self-defense, I had to, I¡­ it still... I know I know I know. She shook herself out of it. That can come later. I can... figure it out later. ¡°The hall is darker. I¡¯ll let you move there, I¡¯ll stay here, and we can talk from there. I don¡¯t want you to be in pain while we talk, if we really¡­ can.¡± Am I being stupid?

    The Shade nodded slowly. They got to their feet, raised their hands slightly so Aster could see their palms, and edged around the room until they were able to settle back comfortably into the shadows in the hallway. They scanned their surroundings and then let out a shaky breath, their head bowed for a moment as they seemed to try to calm down. After a few more breaths, they looked up expectantly.

    How good of a sign was that? They didn¡¯t run immediately, but of course they wouldn¡¯t, there was still daylight outside.

    ¡°I¡¯m getting some paper from my bag to send to you.¡± Aster set down her lantern and knife, still within reach, and set down her backpack to riffle around inside it. She produced a paper and pencil and stepped forward to slide them across the floor to the Shade.

    They picked up the pencil and struggled with it for a moment, since their fingertips seemed mostly intangible. Before long they started writing, then in a moment sent it back.

    In the first few words, the writing was shaky, but stabilized somewhat as they got further, though they still didn¡¯t seem used to it. The note read:

    <blockquote>

    Thank you so much. I¡¯m so sorry for being selfish. That may sound empty, I¡¯m sorry

    I¡¯m still like you. Even though I lost my name and memories and¡­ almost everything but my consciousness. I¡¯m alive

    I want to be alive. Even more alive than I feel now

    I¡¯m sorry for putting you in this situation

    </blockquote>

    Aster¡¯s concern and guilt grew as she read, but she tried to swallow the lump in her throat and nodded.

    ¡°Is it okay if I just speak back, instead of writing?¡±

    They nodded.

    ¡°Okay. I¡­ are you¡­ why did you come here?¡± She sent the paper back. Aster hesitated for a moment as another question occurred to her. ¡°And, do you have a name now? Something you call yourself?¡±

    The Shade looked at the paper, tapping the eraser on their cheek, then started writing. This time took a little longer, though they wrote quickly, but soon they slid the paper back to Aster.

    <blockquote>

    Through trial and error and an abundance of personal experience, I found that Shades have some kind of connection to the echo crystals in the Depths. They seem to contain some of what we''ve lost, but each one only seems to connect with one particular Shade. That is, only one crystal I''ve found was able to give me anything, despite testing many I''ve come in contact with.

    The one I found that did have some connection to me contained a¡­ memory. At least, that¡¯s the best I know to call it. It was vague and indistinct, but it gave me enough information that I was able to confidently determine the location of this house, with the help of your maps.

    I¡¯m no scholar - uh, as far as I know? - but given the clues I¡¯ve found so far, I believe this house is my childhood home. I¡­ was hoping to find people here. See if I could remember anything about them, or them about me. I don¡¯t consciously know them anymore, but I miss them. I can feel a longing for what I¡¯ve lost, even though I can¡¯t remember what exactly it all is. I think that makes it worse.

    ¡°I¡± didn¡¯t die when I Darkened. I certainly changed, and the experience has hurt me, of course, but I have reason to believe I am the same consciousness I was before. Assuming there really was a ¡°before¡± to me, but from the information I have, it seems like I was Tainted, went through the process of Darkening, lost my name and most memories, yet still live.

    I don¡¯t yet know how to prove that I¡¯m still a person. That this couldn¡¯t simply have been repeated from things I¡¯m aware of from others¡¯ experiences. I hope you¡¯ll give me time to show you.

    I call myself Tune. This is after the tune I hummed to you, which I found that my fingers remembered to tap, and gradually reconstructed over time. I don¡¯t know what significance it had to me, but it was deeply ingrained, and it seemed it was most often a subconscious attempt to comfort anxiety. Uhhh, clipse, this is more than you asked for, huh? Suppose I may as well let you know what you¡¯ve gotten yourself into.

    Your name is Aster, right? Sorry for uh. Sorta stalking you.

    </blockquote>

    Aster blinked at the paper several times after she was done reading, trying to process the wealth of information. She couldn¡¯t say she knew much about how to be sure of their personhood, but¡­ instinctively, and from the information she had, she was inclined to believe them. Tune seemed to be as much of a person as Aster had ever been. Could she prove she was a person, aside from her internal certainty that she was?

    ¡°It¡¯s, uh. Nice? To meet you, Tune.¡± Aster found herself laughing briefly at the absurdity of the situation, despite not being sure if that was an appropriate response. She covered her mouth partially. ¡°Uh, sorry. I¡¯m not, used to this? Is anyone?¡±

    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

    Tune¡­ smiled. Aster had rarely seen a Shade smile, and never so lightheartedly. They shook their head as if in disbelief - a form of agreement with her sentiment?

    They beckoned a hand for the paper. ¡°Oh. Sorry.¡± Aster slid it over. ¡°It might go without saying, but I¡­ think I believe you. I can¡¯t trust you, not yet, not from just this information, but I think I at least know enough to believe that you¡¯re a person. I¡¯m¡­ sorry, for not knowing that. Not seeing it, and not always being willing to see it.¡±

    Tune nodded and started writing again.

    <blockquote>

    Thank you.

    I¡¯m sorry that I¡­ took you over. Forced you to help me. I hope that whatever plan that trip was part of hasn¡¯t been ruined because of me.

    I say I¡¯m sorry, and I mean it, but I also wouldn¡¯t change the decision if I could. I need help, unfortunately. Obviously. I¡¯ve had so much taken away from me, and I intend to reclaim it.

    I believe we could help each other. I won¡¯t require you to agree to everything at once, of course - and you¡¯re not agreeing to anything not explicitly mentioned, right now - but can I count on you to help me where necessary? In turn I¡¯ll help you where I can.

    </blockquote>

    Aster took a moment to think after reading it over. ¡°I¡¯m willing to help you where I can. Do you promise not to attempt to harm me nor any of my allies?¡±

    <blockquote>

    If you or they attempt to harm me and negotiating is clearly impossible, I may retaliate, but I¡¯ll try to avoid it. I don¡¯t see any other possibilities in which I wouldn¡¯t keep that promise, so with that caveat, yes. Is that acceptable?

    </blockquote>

    ¡°Huh. It¡¯s like you¡¯re writing a contract. Yes, as far as I can tell, I find that acceptable.¡± Aster tapped the paper absently. ¡°You talked about reclaiming what you¡¯ve lost. What do you mean by that, and what do you remember?¡±

    Tune wrote for longer this time. They stopped and looked it over, then sent it over.

    <blockquote>

    There are some kinds of memory that seem to still be intact. For example, I remember how to write, obviously, and I remember how to speak, though I can¡¯t reliably form words in this¡­ partial form. I¡¯ll get to that part in a moment. This implies memory of those skills and of our language. I also seem to have some muscle memory left - habits of how to move in certain situations, from walking to habitual actions anchored in particular spaces, like an action I found associated with entering the backyard shed.

    Feelings of familiarity are fleeting. It¡¯s sometimes hard to tell whether they¡¯re real or imagined. I get¡­ inklings. The sense that some things should be familiar. The more I try to grasp that feeling, the more I try to understand it, the fuzzier it seems. Like something you see out of the corner of your eye that disappears as soon as you turn toward it.

    As far as I can tell, I don¡¯t have any explicit memories from before I lost my name, at least not ones I can reach. I assume I have retained my general mindsets and characteristic reactions to stimuli, and I probably have essentially the same personality as I used to, depending on how you define it. My formation of memories seems untouched, at least as far as I¡¯ve been able to measure.

    Okay, so, I mentioned being in a ¡°partial form¡± at the moment. The form I take when I¡­ possess a Lucenari (sorry) is, of course, different from my normal form as a person of the Depths (or whatever we could be called). I¡¯m only partially tangible in this form - and as far as I know, I become completely intangible when actually inhabiting a Lucenari - and there are many things I can¡¯t do at the moment. It¡¯s possible that¡¯s just because of my lack of experience with this, uh, skill, but I¡¯m not sure how to control much of it. It does seem a bit safer from the light than my normal form I take in the Depths, but I still worry what could happen if I went out in broad daylight.

    I need help learning more about the echo crystals¡¯ potential, finding them, and getting through the perils of the Depths. Despite my resistance to many things in them, they¡¯re far from safe for me too. I would daresay I have more information about them than you do, though, and I have abilities that should be helpful to you.

    </blockquote>

    Aster tried to digest the information. How had she never encountered any of this information? How had she never even fully realized how alive and intelligent the Shades were?

    ¡°Okay. Have you gained any insights into the process of Darkening itself?¡±

    <blockquote>

    No, not particularly.

    </blockquote>

    ¡°That¡¯s what much of my¡­ research, I suppose? Has been about. I¡¯ll tell you more about it if it seems prudent, but in short, the process of Darkening can be stopped, with treatment and avoiding exposure to the Dark. I¡¯m¡­ trying to give people the best chance I can, with it. Even if¡­¡± Aster paused, realizing the weight of what she was about to say, seeing the incredible implications it had and getting a bit choked up. ¡°Even if fully Darkening isn¡¯t death¡­ it still involves great loss, doesn¡¯t it? I want to protect them from it, and ensure future stability. There¡¯s so much that¡¯s broken here, so many things it seems are being deliberately manipulated¡­ There¡¯s a lot that needs to be done. That has to change.¡± Aster hesitated, realizing she was rambling. ¡°I think we can help each other.¡±

    <blockquote>

    I agree. I won¡¯t promise to dedicate myself to your goals, though, even if they are as noble as they sound. I have my own priorities. My first priority is simply to survive, and make more stability in my life. I¡¯m not going to sacrifice myself, and I¡¯ll weigh risks carefully. I want to make that clear.

    </blockquote>

    Aster felt a little uncomfortable reading the message, though she wasn¡¯t wholly sure why. It just felt¡­ a little selfish, maybe. But at the same time, self-preservation certainly wasn¡¯t wrong. And she appreciated the clear communication. Could she really fault them for any of it? She wasn¡¯t sure either way. Aster nodded, pulling herself out of her thoughts. ¡°Well, thanks for clarifying.¡±

    Tune nodded shortly, writing a new message.

    <blockquote>

    So, how do we get me out of here?

    We can wait til night if you have time, but I¡¯d prefer if you allow me to inhabit a leg or arm of yours until we get to the depths. I don¡¯t have to control the limb to uh¡­ hitch a ride in it, I guess.

    </blockquote>

    Aster¡¯s eyes narrowed, though she tried to make her expression more neutral as she thought of it. ¡°Is there any risk that that could Taint me?¡±

    <blockquote>

    As far as I¡¯m aware, no. It¡¯d be the same as what I did before possessing you, which, as I assume you already know, doesn¡¯t result in Tainting unless substance of the Dark or inkblood gets involved. We can avoid that risk if we take precautions, and I have no intention of Tainting you. I hope you can see that I would have nothing to gain from it. I mean¡­ maybe a different person would see it as an opportunity to make you depend on them more in the Depths, but personally, that doesn¡¯t appeal to me at all. It¡¯d be too volatile, wouldn¡¯t really help me, and would be ethically wrong.

    I hope I¡¯m not overexplaining. Ah well.

    </blockquote>

    Aster sighed. I don¡¯t have time to wait. I could just leave them here, but¡­ I don¡¯t think I have any good reason to do that. Can I really trust them enough to help them this time? Am I making a mistake? Do I¡­ really even have a choice, since it¡¯ll haunt me if I don¡¯t take them with me? ¡°As far as I know, you¡¯re right. I don¡¯t think you have the means to Taint me if I just take you there this time. I will do it this time, but you¡¯ll still have to earn my trust for other proposals.¡±

    Tune nodded.

    ¡°Do you promise not to take over me completely without my consent again?¡±

    They nodded, and also wrote a response.

    <blockquote>

    I promise to not take you over completely without your consent again.

    </blockquote>

    ¡°Ah, impressive, you even put it in writing.¡± Aster raised her eyebrows. ¡°Can I get a signature, to ensure that it¡¯s legally binding?¡±

    She was joking, but Tune waved for the paper. She sent it over.

    They wrote out a signature with a flourish, with some, ah, ¡°additional information¡±, and added a quip to the bottom.

    <blockquote>

    Tune Person Surname

    Number [number], Month Whatever year this is

    Written under only minor duress (*for legal purposes, this is a joke, currently)

    What legal system is this for, Aster? The Internal Ethical Review for the Denizens of the Depths?

    </blockquote>

    ¡°Pfft.¡± Aster chuckled and sent the paper back. ¡°Thank you for your cooperation, Tune Person Surname.¡±

    They gave an exaggerated bow from where they were sitting in the shadows with their legs crossed.

    Aster smiled, then took a deep breath. It occurred to her to check on the previous entry mark and tend to her injured foot. All traces of the mark had disappeared, including the substance that had been there. She checked on her ankle and wrapped it in a makeshift splint again. Tune sent over the paper.

    <blockquote>

    I¡¯m sorry for any undue damage I caused to your ankle. Anything that wouldn¡¯t have happened without my interference. I¡­ may be able to numb the pain for you if you choose for the mark to be on that leg. You¡¯ll still have to walk carefully, of course.

    </blockquote>

    Aster blinked after reading it and looked up at Tune. ¡°¡­Okay. That¡¯s¡­ thanks.¡± She took a deep breath, checked her things, took a moment to reconsider, and moved over to the edge of the shadows. ¡°Okay.¡± She pulled up her pant leg just enough to expose a small amount of skin. ¡°Go ahead.¡±

    Tune nodded. They reached forward and fingered a spot on the exposed skin. Their translucent fingertips went through the skin. They looked up to check her response. She nodded, and over the next few seconds, Tune seemed to dissolve into shadow and flow into the leg, leaving a mark that dripped with traces of their shadowy substance.

 Chapter 6 - Fail-safe

    Aster stepped into an entrance to the Depths that she¡¯d chosen strategically. She stepped further into the darkness until she was enshrouded in it. She checked her surroundings, shining her light around. ¡°Hello?¡±

    Her voice echoed back to her alone, and this was a less-used entrance, so she thought it was probably safe enough. She covered her lantern with a thick shade cloth. ¡°Okay, you can come out now.¡±

    A moment later, a shadowy substance spilled from the mark on Aster¡¯s leg and formed into a vaguely humanoid shape, like before. This time, though, the shape continued to fill out and refine, resolving into a Shade that appeared common to around the third or fourth level of the Depths.

    Tune sighed contentedly, settling back in the more complete form. ¡°Thaaat¡¯s better. Thank you, Aster.¡± Their voice had a light husky quality to it. They stretched, then climbed to their feet and dusted themself off.

    Aster held out the clothes they¡¯d requested from their old room, and she also handed them a large translucent shade cloth, which they accepted. Aster looked away by instinct as they dressed, then looked back as they draped the shade cloth over themself. They wore a light green sweater with something like a shawl over it, with a light-to-dark purple background and yellow and white sun and star patterns dotting it. Their eyes still had dark sclera and pupils, but now their irises had some color back, one eye purple and the other a mix of yellow and green. ¡°So, you alright with me following you to the rest of your group?¡±

    ¡°Should be fine. Let me know if you notice anything potentially hazardous.¡±

    ¡°Will do.¡±

    They set off, with Aster warning them whenever they approached an area with an opening to the sky or an abundance of other light, and with Tune lagging behind a few paces to stay mostly out of the reach of her lantern¡¯s light. Tune periodically scanned their surroundings, their vision piercing far further into the dark than Aster¡¯s could. As much as they knew they¡¯d lost, there were things they¡¯d gained too. They didn¡¯t really want it to turn out that they preferred this state to their previous life, though. Oddly, they found themself wanting to have lost a lot, because that meant they could search for it.

    If, after finding everything they could, they still had this gnawing emptiness, what options would that leave them with?

    ¡°How familiar are you with the ground level of the Depths?¡± Aster asked.

    ¡°Not as familiar as I probably used to be. It¡¯s not the safest place for a Shade. More natural light than most levels, and too many Lanterns.¡±

    Aster nodded. Her long, fluffy pale golden hair ruffled and flowed as she moved, brushing the hem of her long cloak. Tune chuckled softly, watching how it moved. It seemed awfully impractical to have that much hair, but it was likely a safety measure in how Lucenari stored light in their hair. There were the stars on their skin, of course, not to mention their stella veins, but hair this long added a lot of volume to potential storage. It probably helped with staying warm too.

    Tune felt a stab of loss and longing as they thought about it. Not about having that much hair - they weren¡¯t sure they could stand it, even with its benefits - but¡­ the light. They couldn¡¯t really remember what it had been like to use and shape the light, but they at least knew they missed it. They weren¡¯t entirely sure why.

    Well, they knew there was more they could learn about their newfound abilities as a Shade. That was a world that was much less explored, as far as they knew. It was exciting to think of exploring uncharted territory, it just¡­ stung that they¡¯d never had a choice in it.

    Eventually, a good way into their journey, they passed their first echo crystal. Those were less common on the levels nearer the surface, especially with how they were frequently harvested, but they did keep appearing. This one didn¡¯t react to Tune, of course. The vast majority didn¡¯t. They skirted around the sphere of its light.

    ¡°How far did you guys get before you fell into the swallowrock?¡±

    Aster glanced at them, her eyes slightly narrowed. ¡°How long were you watching me before you made your move?¡±

    Tune scratched their cheek absently, sheepish. ¡°Uhh¡­ I¡¯ve seen you in the Depths a few times. I knew I might not get another shot at it if I messed things up the first time, so I watched several Lanterns and waited for an opportunity. There were many Lanterns I wouldn¡¯t have risked, for various reasons.¡± They tapped their fingers together nervously as they walked, a little uncomfortable to be openly discussing what they¡¯d done, even though they understood it. ¡°You were one I was willing to try because¡­ you don¡¯t seem to default to killing, even when you¡¯re afraid. From what I could tell, you watch and assess before acting. You don¡¯t want to eradicate every creature from the Depths, at least.¡±

    Aster stopped in her tracks, her expression unclear. Tune stopped walking in turn, but continued talking. ¡°Correct me if I¡¯m wrong, of course, about any of this. I am sorry that the good I saw from you is what made you more vulnerable to my influence, and the problems it caused for you. I hope it doesn¡¯t undercut how I see that as¡­¡± They hesitated. I don¡¯t know her that well. ¡°Well, it¡¯s why I was willing to trust you at all, with such unstable circumstances. I hope you can see that as some good you did, even though it kind of hurt you.¡±

    Aster seemed deep in thought for a moment, then chuckled. ¡°It¡¯s strange. I¡­ wish you hadn¡¯t had to take control of me to do what you needed to, and maybe there were better ways, but¡­ I¡¯m glad you could see something like that in me.¡± She hesitated, and apparently thought better of whatever she was thinking of saying. Tune itched with curiosity about that, but it didn¡¯t seem like a good time to try prying.

    ¡°Well, good job if you¡¯ve somehow managed to keep your ideals and actions aligned.¡± Tune chuckled dryly. ¡°That¡¯s, ah¡­ quite rare.¡±

    Aster winced visibly. ¡°I¡­ try to. I can¡¯t say I¡¯m perfect either.¡±

    ¡°S¡¯okay, no one ever is.¡± Tune started moving again to signal to Aster to do the same.

    ¡°Oh. Uh, sorry.¡± She kept walking.

    ¡°So uh. To answer your question,¡± Tune began again, ¡°I was watching you since you came in the entrance this time, though I had watched you before. I paid special attention because you came with more people than usual, and appeared outfitted for an extended journey. It looked like the chance I¡¯d been waiting for.¡± They blew air up towards their face in a mildly cathartic exhale. They resisted the urge to clear their throat, not wanting to show too much awkwardness. ¡°So yeah, it probably wouldn¡¯t um, be inaccurate to say I was stalking you, but please don¡¯t take it out of context. I never intended to hurt you, and I wasn¡¯t trying to keep control of you long-term.¡± They swallowed. Because I¡¯m not skilled enough to do that. Would I have done it if I could¡¯ve? What does it mean that I¡¯m not even sure of my own answer to that?

    Aster nodded, then abruptly burst out laughing. ¡°Uh, sorry, I just - ¡®yes, I was stalking you, just don¡¯t take it out of context¡¯? I get it, I understand, it¡¯s just-¡± She chuckled again and cleared her throat. ¡°Yeah, um. It¡¯s an odd situation. I appreciate the honesty, at least, though it also¡­ well, seeming honest would suit you whether you were genuine or not, y¡¯know? But I¡¯m glad you¡¯re trying to explain.¡±

    Tune nodded, but she wouldn¡¯t be able to see from in front of them. ¡°Mhm, I see.¡±

    Aster paused, stepping over a small puddle and splashing through the next she couldn''t easily avoid. ¡°So... how long have you been down here?¡±

    Tune sighed softly. ¡°It''s not easy to tell time down here. I''m sure you know that, but you''re used to at least having your clock. It doesn''t tell you what day it is, though. Months and years are... harder to determine. I only started trying to keep time a few... months, maybe? Into being here. I''ve had to abandon places I took refuge in, though, which left behind notes I''d kept. I think I''ve been here for at least four years.¡±

    ¡°Have you been alone all that time?¡±

    Tune hummed briefly. ¡°Kinda. I see plenty of Lanterns, plenty of Shades like me, plenty of other creatures in the Depths. They tend to either ignore me or try to kill me, though, so it''s not exactly... heartening.¡± They let out a breath. ¡°Look, Aster, with all due respect, you don''t have to understand me. You just need to know enough to judge whether I''m a threat to you or your group.¡±

    It took Aster a moment to respond. ¡°I suppose that part is up to you. I prefer to have more information, and I¡¯d rather know how to help you, but you don¡¯t have to tell me.¡±

    There was a stretch where they walked in silence. It was a bit uncomfortable for Tune, but less uncomfortable than self-disclosure, at least. It¡¯s not like I even have much to hide. Right? There were probably people out there that knew much more about Tune than they themself did. They couldn¡¯t know how much they might have to hide.

    ¡°Aster¡­ before we find the others, I should clarify something.¡± Aster glanced back at them, so they continued. ¡°You''ve¡­ lost people to the Darkening, haven¡¯t you?¡± Tune didn¡¯t wait for a response. ¡°I need you to understand that this new information - me being sapient and alive, and all that implies - it doesn¡¯t necessarily mean any of them are alive. It just means they aren¡¯t confirmed dead.¡± They paused briefly. ¡°Just¡­ don¡¯t get your hopes up too high, okay?¡±

    Aster was quiet for a while. ¡°I know.¡± Another pause. ¡°Thank you for telling me.¡±

    Given the solemnity in her voice, she definitely had lost people, or at least knew people that had. Would she still look for them, now that she had reason to believe there was hope? Would Tune even stop her if they could, if that was what she wanted to do?

    Were Tune¡¯s efforts really any less foolhardy?

    Tune hummed. Hopefully Aster wouldn¡¯t find it creepy. They probably would¡¯ve done it anyway, but it¡¯d be good to know. Aster didn¡¯t seem the type to answer honestly if she did find it creepy, though. Probably no point in asking.

    After a silence, Aster glanced back. ¡°Hey, um,¡± she began. Even higher levels of hesitance, impressive. Always a good start. ¡°Stop me if any of my questions feel invasive, but I forgot to ask, uh, can Shades have a sense of gender like Lucenari?¡±

    Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

    Tune looked at her for a moment. ¡°I don''t know. Probably. Maybe? That part seems to depend on having some kind of organized society, which I¡¯m not aware of if we have it. I dunno whether we experience any of it the same as Lucenari. At least some of us used to be Lucenari, so it¡¯d probably make sense if not much changed there, but it could¡¯ve, I guess. I haven¡¯t exactly met many other friendly Shades, and I¡¯ve got bigger concerns at the moment.¡±

    ¡°Ah. That, yeah, that makes sense. So, do you have a preference on how you¡¯re seen?¡±

    ¡°Me?¡± Tune let out a breath. ¡°Honestly, I¡¯d rather opt out of the whole gender thing much of the time, but I also don¡¯t really care how I¡¯m seen that way.¡± They shrugged. ¡°Just, I guess I¡¯m not a fan of being called an ¡®it¡¯. It depends on how people use the word, but Shades are frequently dehumanized, so I¡¯d rather not be put in the same category as inanimate objects, even though sometimes they mean it more as for a creature.¡±

    ¡°Understandable. That, ah, makes me wonder how many creatures we¡¯re wrong about, in a similar way.¡±

    Tune glanced at her, peering around her to try to read her expression. She seemed pensive. ¡°Yeah, could be more than we think,¡± they said.

    ¡°Does that... not bother you?¡±

    ¡°It does, to some extent. I just don¡¯t have the time or energy to worry about it too much.¡±

    Aster briefly clenched her fists, and just as quickly relaxed them. Tune raised their eyebrows. ¡°Y¡¯know, even if I care too little, that doesn¡¯t mean caring too much is necessarily better.¡±

    Aster stopped in her tracks and turned around abruptly. ¡°But if at least I don¡¯t err on the side of caution that way-!¡± She stopped herself, realizing she¡¯d raised her voice. She took a breath and halfway managed to steady her voice. ¡°Then... who will?¡± She looked them in the eyes, and Tune could sense that the blend of emotions in her eyes was more complicated than they could easily read. That brought up a sense of intense curiosity in them, but they instinctively pushed it away. I¡¯ll probably never get to see or unravel any of whatever that is. Aster tried to take a few deep breaths quickly, which didn¡¯t really work, but she managed to calm herself down a bit. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m not mad at you. At least not specifically. Uh..¡± She rearranged her cloak nervously. ¡°I just...¡± Tune could almost see the gears turning, watch her grasping at straws. She appeared surprised and ashamed at her own outburst.

    ¡°Look,¡± Tune resisted a sigh. ¡°You don¡¯t have to explain it to me. Thanks for trying to make sure it didn¡¯t bother me. Just... You can¡¯t carry the world on your shoulders. I¡¯m sure you know that. So... why try to?¡± C¡¯mon, don¡¯t bother with unsolicited advice. People don¡¯t usually like it anyway, even if they might need it.

    ¡°Because I want to believe that I can. Or at least that someone can, or that collectively maybe we can all do it together. So I prete-... I do what I can.¡±

    ¡°But if you crush yourself under the weight, you won¡¯t be able to help anyone anyway.¡± Tune paused, trying to let it sink in a bit, then sighed. ¡°Do you ever talk about this with someone that actually knows you?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡±

    ¡°Please do that.¡±

    ¡°Wish me luck,¡± Aster said with a sarcastic edge to her voice.

    ¡°Mm, good luck, but don¡¯t wait around for luck. You can¡¯t count on it. Sometimes you¡¯ve gotta concoct it yourself.¡±

    ¡°Got a recipe?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a work in progress.¡± Tune hesitated. ¡°Let¡¯s keep going.¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± Aster sighed softly and they continued walking.

    Every now and then, they would pass through a cavern with small round lights floating languidly through the air. They didn''t produce enough light to be much help to the Lucenari, nor much harm to Shades and co. It was still unclear to the Lucenari what they were or what they did, so Aster defaulted to avoiding them. That was probably smart.

    Tune wasn''t alone anymore, though. At least, not for now. They had a fail-safe in Aster, for the moment. So, naturally, they smiled mischievously and swiped at one of the lights.

    It was just high enough to be out of their reach, so they glanced at Aster to keep themself walking in approximately the right direction and took a slight detour of a few steps to the side.

    They snatched a little floating light out of the air. It was soft and sort of squishy, like some sort of rice confection. Well, less heavy and dense than that though. A rice confection made out of cotton? Or maybe just a cotton ball. Tune may have just been trying to mentally defend their initial urge to eat it.

    It burned their skin slightly to touch it, so they wrapped their hand in dimming cloth so they could hold it. It was... Warm, comfortably so as long as they didn''t let it touch their skin directly.

    They started walking again, having subconsciously stopped to marvel at the phenomenon. Aster had noticed their pause and turned to look, though.

    ¡°Uh, what are you doing?¡±

    ¡°What does it look like I''m doing?¡± Tune smiled, bouncing the near-weightless floating light on their covered palm. ¡°I''m not alone right now, so I figured a bit of experimentation was in order.¡±

    ¡°Experimen-... Tune. That seems less like rigorous testing and more like playing with something you''re curious about.¡±

    Tune shrugged, allowing themself to grin a little wider as they bounced it from hand to hand. ¡°The line between the two is fuzzy at best. Just like these lights. Well okay, they''re not quite fuzzy per se, but almost.¡±

    ¡°O...kay, I''ll accept that, but what about the potential danger?¡±

    ¡°I''ve got you for that.¡±

    ¡°What if it affected me too?¡±

    ¡°What are the chances of that, when Lanterns have a history of traveling past them without incident?¡±

    Aster massaged her temples. ¡°Is this what having a younger sibling is like?¡±

    ¡°No idea. I mean, uh, heey, you don''t even know if you''re older than me!¡± Tune chuckled and caught the light in the shade cloak, bundling it along with them. They could just barely see its dimmed light through the fabric as long as they didn''t let it overlap. ¡°See, no harm done! I''m taking it with me, but I''ll let it go if it seems dangerous. Let me know if you ever wanna poke it. I wanna see how it interacts with Lucenari.¡±

    Aster sighed. ¡°Aalrighty then. Just keep an eye on it. On we go.¡± They kept walking.

    ¡°So, are you sure of the route they took after you fell?¡± Tune looked at her.

    ¡°I''m not fully certain, but if all went well, I know where they should be.¡±

    ¡°Ah. Comforting.¡±

    ¡°Look, I have maps for a good section of the journey. Even if they couldn''t use the route for whatever reason, we talked briefly about backup routes. We''ll find them.¡±

    ¡°Sounds decidedly better than it could be.¡±

    ¡°That statement is impressively ambiguous.¡± Aster glanced back at them, raising her eyebrows.

    ¡°Yep, I was wondering if you¡¯d notice.¡±

    Every so often, they passed motes of green light floating around moss or vines. Those seemed similar to the other lights, but after Tune brushed their hand through a few, they simply scattered at their touch, then drifted lazily back toward their greenery. They didn¡¯t give off much if any heat, and felt kinda like room-temperature flakes of snow.

    They passed patches of translucent vines. Tune reached out to compare them against their fingertips, looking at the cave wall through both of them layered against each other.

    ¡°How common are these in this area?¡±

    Aster kept up her steady pace as she responded. ¡°Those tend to be more common deeper down, but they aren¡¯t unheard of once you¡¯ve gotten deep enough into the surface level. It cuts through the mountains, so... I assume that eventually we¡¯ll be beyond any of the openings to the sky.¡± She glanced back at them slightly. ¡°So you... really don¡¯t know anything about the Darkening?¡±

    ¡°Not much. I highly doubt I¡¯d know more than you, since I lost my memory of what it was like. I can confirm, at least, that the pitch-black substance you call the Dark is distinct from the actual darkness here, though regular ol¡¯ darkness and shadows are relevant to Shades in some ways. The regular darkness itself doesn¡¯t progress the Darkening, does it?¡±

    ¡°Not... exactly. We¡¯d need to do more formal research, but it seems like it doesn¡¯t progress the Darkening itself, but it does allow the inkblood to spread, which seems to expand the reach of the light sensitivity and other symptoms, depending on what stage of Darkening the person is in.¡±

    Tune rubbed their chin absently. ¡°Interesting. Well... we can both do some tests, if you think we¡¯ll have time. See what we can find out about the Dark before we bring your Tainted allies further into its domain.¡±

    Aster¡¯s shoulders tensed slightly at that. Ah. Maybe not the best word choice.

    She stopped suddenly in front of them, though. Tune slowed to a stop in turn. ¡°What?¡±

    Aster stepped out of the way, shielding her lantern so it didn¡¯t shine on them. In front of her, a patch of the rock was partially translucent.

    Tune edged up as close as they could get without risking the light, examining the stone. The patch wasn¡¯t all that deep, so all they could see behind it was more rock. They tried touching it, and their hand went through about a finger length of the rock before the rest felt more solid. It was somehow softer than usual, more malleable, though prodding it further didn¡¯t actually deform the rock. ¡°Huh.¡±

    ¡°Have you seen this before?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡± As they prodded around inside the outside of the rock, their fingers started tingling with a deep, pervasive coldness, delving straight to their bones. They withdrew. ¡°It¡¯s... cold, after a few seconds. The intangible portion especially.¡± They shook their hand, a little concerned the sensation wouldn¡¯t go away, but they did feel it start to fade.

    Aster stared at the rock, her eyebrows furrowed.

    Tune looked at it again, examining its shape, and noticed a piece jutting out. Like a... crystal.

    They grabbed the crystal and it broke off soundlessly. It didn¡¯t respond to their touch at all beyond that. On further inspection, it definitely looked like an echo crystal, just... silent and colorless and empty.

    The coldness started to affect their bare hand again, so they dropped the echo crystal in a pouch at their side for later examination.

    ¡°Did you uh... sense anything from it?¡±

    ¡°Nothing. Even less than regular crystals.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s... really strange. All of it.¡± Aster bit her lip, almost glaring at the patch of translucent rock. ¡°I don¡¯t know when this started. We¡¯ll have to keep an eye on anything that seems related.¡± She let out a breath. ¡°Including the pouch you stored it in. We don¡¯t know what it might do. Please be careful, Tune.¡±

    ¡°I know, I know.¡±

    Aster raised her eyebrows.

    ¡°Look, ignorance can be just as dangerous as trying to find out new things. I¡¯ll try to be smart about it.¡±

    ¡°Be smart about your flagrant recklessness?¡±

    ¡°Mhm, you get it.¡±

    Finally, they heard voices echoing ahead. Aster sped up, maybe unconsciously, then slowed down as they got closer to the voices, straining to hear.

    Tune closed their eyes briefly, trying to make out the voices. They didn¡¯t know the voices nearly as well as Aster did, though, so they¡¯d let her make the final call.

    ¡°It¡¯s them,¡± she said softly, visibly relaxing. She sped up a little again, but took more care than she had before. Probably thinking of the fall earlier.

    Tune followed her like a shadow, apprehensive now that they were actually getting close. Vague, unbidden images flashed through their mind of different ways they could end up being attacked by coming with her.

    I already weighed this. The potential benefits outweigh the likely risks.

    That didn¡¯t completely stave off their urge to run.

    ¡°Dad!¡± Aster rushed toward him. Fennel turned, his expression first one of surprise, then relief. He moved to meet her and pulled her into a hug, which she returned. There was a pause.

    "I''m sorry, I''m so so-"

    Fennel let out a held breath. "That''s not what I named you."

    "Wh- ''Sorry''?" She pulled back, incredulous, then let out a short laugh.

    He smiled. ¡°You¡¯re here now. That¡¯s what matters.¡±

    ¡°Yeah... Okay.¡± Aster didn¡¯t look quite as comforted as she wanted to be by that, but she turned back toward Tune while  addressing the group. ¡°Okay, um... just, hear me out before you make any judgements, okay?¡±

    Tune held their breath.

    ¡°I... met a Shade that¡¯s willing and able to negotiate. They seem just as much a person as any of us.¡±

    Tune raised a hand. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s me. I call myself Tune.¡±

 Chapter 7 - Gathering Fog

    Aster could see Tune tense up as everyone looked toward them.

    She glanced toward the others, trying to measure their responses. Mira was also looking around at her companions, probably uncertain of what to think. She seemed... Apprehensive, if Aster read her right. Hyacinth seemed wary, his eyes flicking to Aster again before he watched Tune carefully, but didn''t make any obvious attempts to prepare to defend himself.

    Fennel looked thoughtful. Curious, even. Probably trying to avoid jumping to conclusions. ¡°Alright then, let''s hear it.¡±

    Aster drew in a deep breath. ¡°...I guess I''ll start with how I met them.¡±

    Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw Tune kind of flinch. She turned to look at them again. ¡°Or, Tune, would you rather explain it yourself?¡±

    Tune folded their arms and quietly exhaled. ¡°Sure. Feel free to chime in or correct me. I, uh... As far as I can tell, I was a Lucenari before I Darkened and lost my name. The name I had before, at least, and with it went my memories. I can remember how to write and walk and stuff like that, I just... Don''t really know who I''ve been, or the people I used to know, or the life I used to lead. I became a Shade, yes, but I have reason to believe that I am the same consciousness I was before losing my memories. It wasn''t dying.¡±

    Aster looked over at dad. His eyes had widened at that. Aster hesitated, then spoke. ¡°...but we can''t know yet what that means for others that have Darkened. It implies there''s more hope, but it doesn''t guarantee anything. We... Still have to be careful.¡± She reached over and gave Dad''s shoulder a gentle squeeze, like he would sometimes do to remind her to calm down or take it slow, or simply that he was there.

    He took a steadying breath and nodded, briefly putting his hand on the hand she¡¯d put on his shoulder. ¡°Of course.¡±

    Aster looked over at Hyacinth. His arms were folded tightly, and he looked down with an uncertain, pained expression, but he looked up as he noticed Aster¡¯s questioning gaze. ¡°It''s a good caveat, as frustrating as it is.¡± He dug his fingers into his own upper arm before letting go with an exhale. ¡°All we can change is the future.¡±

    Aster nodded despite the feeling of guilt that had crawled into her throat. Why should she feel guilty? She hadn''t done this to any of them. Well, not the loved ones they''d lost to the Depths, at least. Unless Orion really was my f-

    She shook her head slightly, like she could shake the thoughts away. She''d been told again and again that that wasn''t a useful train of thought. They were probably right about that. It just didn''t stop feeling like maybe if it was all her fault, that made it all more possible to change. If she could just shoulder everything, maybe it''d be closer in reach and she could learn to change it?

    Maybe it was a strange, painful sort of wishful thinking.

    She looked over at Mira, but it was hard to give a name to the expression she wore, especially since she seemed to be trying to shove down her emotions. She gripped pieces of her shade cloak by her hands as if for comfort. Her parents mourned her before she even lost her name. But they were wrong that it was inevitable, and they were wrong even that it would truly be a death.

    They left her alone for nothing.

    Aster tried to curb the hot anger she could feel rising at that. How were they supposed to know, what were they supposed to do? Can I really blame them?

    There was a part of her that didn''t really care whether her anger was really justified or not. It scared her.

    Aster took a deep breath and turned back to Tune, who had waited for them to process, looking... Uncomfortable, awkward? Maybe they felt out of place. Someone did that to them too. Someone tried to ensure that we¡¯d all think Shades had no rightful place. Or maybe... This all happened by accident? Happenstance, just people doing whatever they knew how? She wasn''t sure which option she found worse.

    ¡°Um,¡± Tune started eloquently. ¡°So, I''ve been trying to piece together what information I can, about myself and the mysteries of the Depths, etcetera. I did find an echo crystal that had some kind of connection to my memories - it was able to... Sort of give me a memory back, as far as I can tell, though it was imperfect. I need help tracking down more of these crystals and related information, not to mention surviving the perils of the Depths.¡± They swallowed. ¡°And so I gathered information and Enshrouded Aster. I never intended to hurt her, and it wasn''t likely to last long, especially with my inexperience and her competence as a Lantern.¡± Aster winced slightly at that. Competence, huh? If I would qualify as competent, we''re worse off than we thought. ¡°She broke out of it, and we were thankfully able to communicate with each other.¡±

    ¡°So you''ll never do anything like that again, right? Possessing her?¡± Hyacinth seemed to be trying not to narrow his eyes too much.

    ¡°You''re going to have to define your terms more specifically.¡±

    Hyacinth sighed, but nodded. ¡°That seems a tad evasive, but I guess it''s reasonable enough. You will not take control of her?¡±

    ¡°I won''t take control of her without her consent, no.¡±

    ¡°Why would she ever consent to that?¡±

    ¡°I''m not sure if she would. I''m just also not sure she wouldn''t ever find a use for it, so I''m trying to only keep promises I know I can keep.¡± They folded their arms. ¡°Isn''t that better than just telling you what you want to hear?¡±

    Hyacinth paused, then took in a calming breath, unfolding his arms. ¡°You''re right. I''m sorry for any hostility I unintentionally show, this is all just... Tense.¡±

    Tune nodded slowly. ¡°Yeah. Of course it is. We''ll just... Have to build trust over time. I just hope I''m not permanently barred from your trust just by being a Shade.¡±

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    ¡°No, that wouldn''t make sense.¡± He tapped his arm a few times. ¡°Not to do intentionally, at least. I know that''s, ah... not usually how it works, um... I will do my best to see your actions in their full context, and not just from the lens of our differences.¡± Hyacinth did a Lantern bow, usually done to accept a task or mission from Overseers. Aster chuckled softly through her nose. Well, s¡¯pose it works here too.

    Tune hesitated slightly. ¡°Thank you. I wish you luck.¡± They paused and hummed softly. ¡°Is that... Enough? Can we keep going now?¡±

    Aster paused and glanced at the others. Fennel nodded. ¡°Yeah, we should get going. We still have a lot of trust to build, but I''ll do my best to protect you too, Tune. I''m Fennel, Aster¡¯s dad. It''s nice to meet you.¡± He smiled at them, but this time didn''t try to extend a handshake or anything, probably assuming it may not be comfortable for them, or that it may be different for Shades.

    Tune hesitated, almost seeming to study Fennel. ¡°Ah, thank you. I''ll try to help you all through our route in turn.¡±

    The group started moving again, a bit slowly at first as they settled into a new rhythm.

    Aster had always hated something about how silent it always felt around them down here.

    ¡°Exactly how far until there stops being openings to the sky?¡± Mira asked eventually.

    Aster brought out her map and showed her. ¡°There may well be areas I¡¯ve missed around here,¡± she said, tracing an area a bit ahead of their approximate location. ¡°But once you get around here...¡± she moved her finger a little further, ¡°based on what I know of the shape of the mountain, there won¡¯t be any at all beyond this point.¡±

    Mira sighed shakily. ¡°Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Thanks.¡±

    Aster paused, looking at her. A few strides passed before she spoke again. ¡°Mira,¡± she said softly. Mira glanced at her. ¡°We¡¯ll protect you.¡±

    Mira tensed, the line of her mouth unsteady. She hesitated visibly. ¡°But you can''t promise you''ll succeed,¡± she said quietly, biting her lip like she was just a moment too late to bite the words back. ¡°No one truly can. No matter how much they want to.¡±

    Aster felt a little bit like she''d been stabbed. She sucked in a quiet, sharp breath, forcing herself to keep walking as she scrambled to find a suitable response.

    She ran out of time. Mira gripped her own arm, not meeting Aster¡¯s gaze again. ¡°Aster... it¡¯s not up to you. It¡¯s not your fault. You don¡¯t have to think it is. It doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯re weak, it just means we¡¯re fighting an uphill battle.¡±

    Aster¡¯s hands absently twitched in and out of making fists. I¡¯m not qualified to give you a hero¡¯s response on this yet. You¡¯re speaking too honestly, how am I supposed to match that with my facade? She squeezed her eyes shut briefly, even as she continued walking as if driven by some outside force. At least no tears slipped out. At least she kept this pain and the anguish of inadequacy locked up where it couldn¡¯t often snake out and touch them too. Right? Did she keep it well enough?

    Her mind caught on one word from her own thoughts. ¡°Yet¡±. I can¡¯t be exactly what you need yet. Yet, I still have time. I have to believe that. She let one hand form a stable fist and subconsciously touched it to the place on her arm that mirrored her father¡¯s Taint mark. ¡°You¡¯re right that it¡¯s an uphill battle,¡± she conceded. ¡°But whether or not it¡¯s up to me remains to be seen. It would be a disservice for me to disqualify myself from even trying to make a difference, because sometimes all someone needs is one tiny desperate effort to buy them one more sliver of time.¡± She took a deep breath. I can¡¯t step too deep into telling her how afraid I am. I can¡¯t give her more fear. She probably has more than enough for both of us and it¡¯s all she can do to keep it from spilling. Even as she drowns in it? Like I sometimes do? ¡°It¡¯s not always about if I can change everything I set out to. If I make anything better by my efforts, and I don¡¯t also do more harm than good, I can accept all of it. I¡¯m just trying to... tip the scales.¡± Aster tensed up slightly, realizing that last bit may not have been the best choice of words. She glanced at dad and found that he was looking at her, like she thought he might be. She bit her lip, looking away again. She¡¯d said similar things before. He probably knew what she meant by it.

    Mira paused, taking in what Aster had said. Aster thought she saw Mira relax slightly. She hoped she wasn¡¯t imagining it for her own sake. ¡°I... think you¡¯re right.¡± She took a slow, deep breath of her own, closing her eyes and slowing her pace for just a moment as she self-soothed, placing a hand gently near her own collarbone. ¡°I want to have determination like yours.¡± She paused, then chuckled softly. ¡°Any, uh, tips?¡±

    Aster breathed out a laugh without much humor in it. ¡°I¡¯m not really sure,¡± how to get it, or if it¡¯s really strong enough for you to want it, ¡°but... Well, defiance is helpful sometimes. I try not to accept answers I find unacceptable, and try to change them.¡± She tipped her head from side to side slightly, trying to weigh the ideas swirling around in her head. ¡°It¡¯s better if I actually get to inquire into the answers themselves, but often I can¡¯t really get to them. It¡¯s hard to tell if there really are any reasons to them, sometimes. If I can actually ask, maybe I can find good reasons to accept whatever it is. Or maybe not, but, well, I had to question a lot of things to get to where I am. I have no guarantee that I¡¯m entirely right now either, I just hope to correct things as I go and find the things that I can trust the most.¡±

    Mira nodded. ¡°I... can try, at least.¡±

    Aster gave a slight smile. ¡°That¡¯s all I¡¯m doing. It doesn¡¯t have to be perfect, and thank goodness for that, because if it did then nothing I¡¯ve done would count.¡± It felt like an obvious thing to say, but sometimes obvious things were comforting anyway, or they weren¡¯t as obvious from a different perspective, or they just had no effect.

    The conversation petered out. A part of Aster wished she could get some kind of direct feedback on how well she¡¯d performed. It didn¡¯t come naturally to her, why did people act like somehow it would?

    ¡°The air is getting steadily more humid, and colder,¡± Tune announced.

    Aster glanced at them, then paused, seeing if she could tell if anything had changed. ¡°Are  you sensitive to gradual changes like that?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± they said. ¡°Did I not mention that?¡±

    ¡°Uh, no.¡±

    ¡°Huh. I am a creature of mystery.¡±

    Aster shot them a flat look. They grinned insufferably. She raised her eyebrows, but chuckled softly as she turned her attention back to the path ahead.

    Fog gathered in wispy layers ahead of them, swirling and curling around each other. Aster squinted, trying to pierce through it with sheer willpower. She tried to ensure all the wisps she saw were pale, not Dark. ¡°Tune? You¡¯re looking out for wisps of the Dark, right?¡±

    ¡°Sure am. You doubted me?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t go out of your way to seem the most dependable.¡±

    ¡°I like to be surprising.¡± Out of the corner of her eye, she could see them waggle their eyebrows.

    ¡°By way of setting low expectations?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s one method, yes. Many paths lead to the same destination, and I like a change of scenery from time to time.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t that take you off track sometimes?¡± Hyacinth piped up.

    ¡°That¡¯s just part of the fun.¡±

    Aster couldn¡¯t tell whether they were kidding.

    What were those sounds?

    Aster stopped abruptly and held up a hand, trying to listen. The group gradually came to a stop.

    Ah yes. That was someone calling for help.

    And then those were screams.

 Chapter 8 - Crossfire

    Aster broke into a run, sprinting along the cavern floor as fast as she could allow for in the dense fog. It didn¡¯t take long for the screams to cut off, but Aster remembered the direction they¡¯d come from. She swerved down a tunnel, tendrils of mist swirling around her, and came upon a short raised portion of cavern with a cloaked figure looming in the dark, pressing a scythe to another figure that had their back against the wall and an arm up to shield themself.

    ¡°Do you still see your twisted ¡®heroism¡¯ in their pain?¡± A voice hissed from the cloaked figure, quiet yet hard. Aster climbed onto the raised surface of the cave they were in.

    ¡°How is what you''re doing any different from what I do?¡± The second voice was strained, desperate.

    There was a brief growl. ¡°You attack the guilty and the innocent. I only attack the guilty.¡± The cloaked figure pulled their scythe back slightly, and in one fluid motion swept the legs from under the second person. The second person cried out as he lost his balance, hitting the ground hard. ¡°I judge your guilt as deep and unyielding,¡± the cloaked figure said, and raised their scythe to strike again.

    Aster finished her elaborate pattern of shards of light and it streaked toward the cloaked figure. At the same time, Hyacinth finished sprinting toward the two and caught the scythe in the hook of his halberd, yanking it off course as it started to fall.

    The figure stepped into the new direction of their scythe, putting more pressure on it than Hyacinth expected. He stumbled a little, but corrected for it quickly, sliding his halberd clear of the scythe as he stepped back to shield the person on the ground.

    The cloaked figure turned toward the pattern of light streaking toward them, and instead of trying to avoid it, they tipped their hood back to reveal a strikingly mirror-like face and wispy pale hair. A Shade, but not a kind that seemed very common in Aster¡¯s experience.

    As the light contacted their skin, it didn''t simply reflect like Aster expected. The light shattered with an audible crack and then pivoted back the way it''d come, the pieces scattering more wildly this time.

    Aster jerked back, but didn¡¯t have time to absorb any of the shards of light as they streaked toward her, slivers of heat slashing at her and disappearing as quickly as they came. A few of them drew blood, but none of it would be serious, at least not from this attack.

    She rushed forward, drawing in close to support Hyacinth.

    ¡°What gives you the right to judge anyone¡¯s guilt?¡± Hyacinth firmly asked the figure.

    They leveled a piercing gaze at him, readying their scythe. ¡°I watch. I listen. I give them a chance to try to prove themselves to me. I give them the courtesy they never spare for the creatures of the Depths.¡±

    ¡°And how are they supposed to do that?¡± Aster asked, holding up one of her slightly longer knives in a defensive position. ¡°Prove themselves to you?¡±

    ¡°By refraining from the slaughter of creatures they don¡¯t understand, even when they pose potential danger to them. By seeing the humanity in Shades, despite what they¡¯ve been told. By showing honor to their companions, and not abandoning them in the dark to lose themselves.¡± They brandished their weapon, but held back for the moment. ¡°You¡¯re Lanterns, aren¡¯t you? You¡¯ve seen the cruelty in the Overseers, and the callousness of the Lanterns that lash out against everything here.¡±

    Aster lowered her weapon slightly, hoping the gesture could lower the tension somewhat. ¡°I¡¯m with you so far.¡± She glanced behind her at her father kneeling by the Lantern that had been attacked, talking him through what he was about to do to treat the wounded arm. Mira crouched nearby in a silent offer to help.

    ¡°So you kill them if they don¡¯t appear to meet your standards?¡± Hyacinth¡¯s eyes were narrowed.

    The Shade met Hyacinth¡¯s gaze. ¡°Yes. If no one else will act to root out the evils so deeply ingrained here, I will. I¡¯ll personally cull the disease, until all we¡¯re left with has the capacity to sustain life. I call myself Grim - this world showed me no mercy, and I don''t believe it will change through any mercy in return.¡±

    ¡°What about those that could change, that could be saved?¡±

    ¡°Trying to save them risks complacency. I¡¯ve never seen them prove that they could be saved. I have no reason to believe in them.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re talking like the Overseers talk about the Depths,¡± Aster said, resisting the urge to cross her arms. ¡°With the same detached hopelessness they show for Tainted Lanterns. Didn¡¯t you just condemn that?¡±

    It was a bit uncomfortable to be fixed with the intensity of Grim¡¯s gaze. ¡°I know I can¡¯t save everyone. They assume they can¡¯t save anyone, so they don¡¯t even try. Are you really saying my philosophy is just as indefensible as theirs?¡±

    ¡°I know I can¡¯t save everyone.¡± Aster tried to swallow the lump in her throat that formed at that sentence. She could run from it and refuse to accept it, but that fact would always eventually catch up to her, wouldn¡¯t it?

    ¡°It¡¯s not about the comparison,¡± Hyacinth said, his eyes seeming to burn with the determination Aster sometimes got to see in him. ¡°If you take even one innocent life, or any life you could¡¯ve saved - if your judgement fails to be honorable even once, you cease to meet your own standards. From the outside, you¡¯d judge yourself as one of the guilty. If life hinges on a single mistake, can you really be sure you¡¯ll never waver?¡±

    ¡°What makes you so sure my judgement will fail?¡±

    ¡°I believe in your personhood, just like me.¡± Hyacinth lowered his halberd slightly, though he still gripped it tightly, still fixed Grim with something halfway to a glare. ¡°Isn¡¯t that what you wanted? I believe you¡¯re just as fallible as I am. I have no reason to believe anyone isn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Seems a little arrogant, doesn¡¯t it?¡± Grim pulled their hood back over their head, leaving their glassy eyes in the shade.

    ¡°Certainly no more arrogant than you believing you¡¯re qualified to be an arbiter over life and death.¡±

    ¡°Someone has to stop those that take that mantle more recklessly, don¡¯t you think?¡± They breathed out a sigh. ¡°This isn¡¯t your fight. Do you even know the tarnished Lantern you¡¯re trying to save?¡±

    ¡°Do you?¡± Aster asked. ¡°What does it take to really know them?¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask this one about the blood he¡¯s had on his hands? The creatures he¡¯s attacked unprovoked?¡± They swept their hand out in front of them, gesturing toward where the Lantern lay behind her. ¡°Are you really so sure you want to protect someone like him?¡±

    Aster glanced back at him. He looked familiar, but she couldn¡¯t remember his name. He appeared a little dazed, with a thoroughly bandaged arm lying at his side, motionless as if it hurt to move it at all. His face was tense, but it didn¡¯t appear to be from defiance.

    More than anything, he just looked terrified.

    He seemed to be making a halfhearted effort to hide his terror and pain, but that effort was interrupted by a palpable exhaustion. A hopelessness, a facade of resignation to his fate when those certainties still tore him up inside.

    Maybe Aster was just projecting. Maybe she was wrong about him. But she knew at least the pleading in his eyes. The gaze of someone that desperately wanted to live.

    ¡°I¡¯m not qualified to judge him.¡± Aster fixed her gaze on Grim¡¯s. ¡°He can¡¯t take back whatever it is that he¡¯s done. But what if he could reclaim his future? What if he could find ways to do more good than harm? What if I do more harm by not giving him a chance?¡±

    Hyacinth nodded slightly. ¡°No stain can be washed away by blood.¡±

    A crossbow bolt whistled through the air, past Aster¡¯s shoulder, and hit Grim  in the collarbone.

    They gasped, stumbling backward. ¡°No-!¡± Aster cried out. The impact had made a shatter wound where it¡¯d hit, and Aster probably didn¡¯t know enough about Shade physiology to know how serious it might be.

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    Hyacinth had whipped around to face the Lantern. ¡°Why would you-!¡±

    Fennel had apparently looked away for a moment, and cursed softly, immediately trying to confiscate the Lantern¡¯s crossbow. He seemed prepared for that and jerked away, leaping to his feet and backing away. ¡°Do you know how many Lanterns they¡¯ve killed? I don¡¯t know either. How many unexplained disappearances can we prevent now if we don¡¯t let them go? How likely am I to ever be able to prove to them that I can be allowed to live?¡±

    Aster stepped back between Grim and the Lantern, shielding them. ¡°What if neither of you have to die? They''ve been negotiating so fa-¡± The Shade darted out from behind her and rushed toward the Lantern, their scythe ready to their side.

    Hyacinth cursed, moving to try to get between them. Aster went for the Lantern¡¯s crossbow, trying to get it away from him.

    Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Tune racing toward Grim. Aster turned her gaze back toward the Lantern, trying to make sure neither he nor Grim would notice them.

    Aster sent light through her stella veins and snapped her fingers to agitate the light as she released it, creating a blinding spark to the side of the Lantern¡¯s vision. He instinctively flinched away from it, and Aster did a leg sweep. As he scrambled to regain his balance, she wrested the crossbow from his grip, then caught him on the way down, just in case.

    Grim gasped from behind her. ¡°A Shade...?¡± So they¡¯d noticed. She risked a glance at them and didn¡¯t see Tune, so they must¡¯ve already Enshrouded Grim. They abruptly lunged at Aster.

    Aster stumbled back, letting go of the Lantern since he¡¯d already made it awkwardly to the ground. Grim snatched a long, bright echo crystal of Aster¡¯s, and Aster could see the Enshroudment mark on their wound shying away from the light already. She jerked back, trying to wrestle the echo crystal away from them.

    A shade cloth was thrown between them. Hyacinth stepped in and pressed the shade cloth near the wound, yet he was careful not to touch the wound itself. Grim tried to push him away, but they made no effort to really hurt him.

    Aster could see the exhaustion start to affect them, like she¡¯d had when Tune had Enshrouded her. They shook their head. ¡°No, stop, I can¡¯t-¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t want to hurt you, at least. You know that by now,¡± Hyacinth told them.

    They grabbed his arm. ¡°I¡¯ve heard that before.¡± Grim shoved him away with the handle of their scythe. ¡°They always tried to act so reluctant before they made me go die for them.¡±

    Aster backed away, since their attention was on Hyacinth for the moment. A hand grabbed on to the crossbow she still held.

    She pulled back, snatching a sheathed knife from her belt and slashing at the Lantern¡¯s arm. He flinched based on the shape, noticing the sheath a second too late, as Aster tucked the crossbow away within her cloak.

    ¡°You¡¯re Lanterns too, aren¡¯t you? I¡¯m not your enemy! You know how dangerous it is down here!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not our enemy, but neither is Grim.¡± Aster stepped back.

    ¡°You have to know this isn¡¯t sustainable.¡± He let out an exasperated breath. ¡°You¡¯ll just get yourselves killed this way. I respect what you¡¯re trying to do, but... you see how it¡¯s na?ve, don¡¯t you?¡±

    Aster resisted the urge to bite her lip, taking a small steadying breath. ¡°If na?ve is the worst thing I ever am, I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll have done all that badly. I¡¯ll do my best to be whatever I can be.¡±

    The Lantern shook his head. ¡°Just... take care of yourselves, okay?¡±

    Fennel stepped up beside Aster. ¡°We will. You need to go.¡±

    The Lantern hesitated. ¡°I can¡¯t go without some way to defend myself.¡±

    ¡°If you agree not to start nor support any kind of hunt for Grim, we can arrange for that.¡± Fennel crossed his arms, tapping his fingers.

    ¡°You¡¯re really going to...?¡± He sighed in frustration.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say you can¡¯t defend yourself. I asked you not to seek them out.¡±

    ¡°What about protecting the people they attack?¡±

    Fennel paused. ¡°Will you do your utmost to avoid catching Grim in the crossfire?¡±

    ¡°Crossf-? They¡¯re the aggressor in that case, ¡®crossfire¡¯ doesn¡¯t-!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s all crossfire.¡± Fennel fixed him with an intense gaze. ¡°None of us here started the fights we¡¯re trying to end. No one I know of was ever the first to invent whatever brought them to violence in the first place.¡± He sighed. ¡°Please, for your own sake, don¡¯t just fight. Fight for something.¡±

    The Lantern stared at him, trying to sort through what he¡¯d said.

    ¡°Will you promise just this one thing?¡± Aster asked, moving her cloak to reveal the crossbow, but not bringing it out yet. ¡°You won¡¯t hunt Grim down, and you¡¯ll do your utmost to avoid catching them in the crossfire?¡±

    The Lantern hesitated, then sighed. ¡°Fine. I can do that. I will inform others about them though. I can¡¯t control what they do.¡±

    Fennel took a breath. ¡°I know. But you have to explain. Give them the chance to understand why they fight, and why we don¡¯t have to be enemies. We¡¯re not trying to eradicate everything in the Depths. We all just want to live.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll explain.¡± The Lantern looked at Aster expectantly, holding out his hand.

    Aster glanced at Fennel, then handed the crossbow back, shifting so she was blocking Grim.

    The Lantern nodded. ¡°...Thanks,¡± he said, and broke into a run back towards the faraway entrance to the Depths.

    Aster exhaled, then whipped back around to see how Grim and Hyacinth were doing. At some point, Mira had joined them, supporting Hyacinth.

    ¡°You can¡¯t change the world like this,¡± Grim was saying. ¡°It¡¯ll fight back, it always does, and it will crush you if you aren¡¯t willing to fight it.¡±

    ¡°I never said I wouldn¡¯t fight back,¡± Hyacinth said. ¡°I¡¯m simply unwilling to pour all my effort into fighting false enemies. I don¡¯t want to hurt anyone, and I don¡¯t intend to gain that desire, even if I have to defend myself at times.¡±

    ¡°What makes you think anything you fight is a false enemy?¡± Grim winced, unsteady on their feet. They took a few shaky steps backward. ¡°If they fight you, or attack someone or something you care about - doesn¡¯t that make them into your enemy?¡±

    ¡°It depends on how I define it. I don¡¯t have to accept that mark on them.¡± Hyacinth exhaled. He let his halberd clatter to the cavern floor, and took a step away from it, then settled on the ground. ¡°If I had, how would I have known you didn¡¯t have to be my enemy?¡± He spread out a hand, as if inviting them to sit.

    Grim huffed, but Aster could tell it was getting harder for them to move or even stay awake. Mira backed away from them, giving them space. They hesitated, then sat down heavily, breathing out a sigh. ¡°You evidently haven¡¯t really thought this through.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re with the Shade that¡¯s Enshrouding you. We just need to make sure you won¡¯t follow the Lantern. No harm will come to you.¡±

    Fennel settled down next to Hyacinth. ¡°If you can instruct us on treating your wound, we¡¯d be more than willing.¡±

    Grim¡¯s eyebrows furrowed deeply. Their gaze was fixed on the cavern floor. ¡°No harm will come to me, while I¡¯m Enshrouded. I believe you, or at least in that intention. But what about the harm to the creatures that Lantern has injured or killed without good reason? You can¡¯t guarantee he¡¯ll change his actions, nor that he won¡¯t always instinctively default to lashing out. Will you take on a portion of the guilt for their pain?¡±

    Aster settled on the ground behind the others, covering her lantern with a few layers of shade cloth. Hyacinth had already done the same with his. Mira walked quietly to Aster¡¯s side, taking a seat beside her and covering her lantern in kind, glancing at Aster¡¯s a few times to ensure she dimmed it enough.

    A portion of the guilt for their pain. The dark pit in Aster¡¯s stomach returned. False enemy...

    ¡°You have a point,¡± Fennel conceded. ¡°You are right that that must be addressed. No, I don¡¯t intend to simply accept their pain as inevitable. Maybe a piece of the guilt does fall on me, inasmuch as I prevent your efforts. I do believe that your efforts create more harm than they prevent, though.¡±

    Grim gripped their scythe handle, which was on the ground beside them. It worried Aster at first, but it seemed more like a subconscious gesture than anything. ¡°I¡¯m unwilling to accept the injustices constantly done to the creatures in the Depths. Your actions feel like unwitting acceptance.¡±

    Fennel paused.

    ¡°I understand. I¡¯ll commit to finding another way,¡± Hyacinth said.

    ¡°How many will slip through the cracks as they wait for you to decide?¡± Grim met his gaze, a look of pleading in their eyes. ¡°Nothing else will wait.¡±

    Hyacinth hesitated.

    Grim was having trouble keeping their eyes open. ¡°Please... don¡¯t forget them. All of us. Some of you are Tainted, aren¡¯t you? You know what they¡¯ve done to you. Don¡¯t let them continue. Don¡¯t let anyone else... slip through the cracks.¡±

    ¡°I hope we meet again,¡± Fennel said. ¡°Regardless, please take care of yourself, and take care not to judge quickly or unfairly.¡±

    Grim let out a soft, humorless laugh. It had a subtle glasslike quality to it. ¡°I can always try.¡±

    They slipped out of consciousness, still sitting upright.

    Several seconds later, their eyes snapped open. ¡°G¡¯mornin, it¡¯s Tune.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s morning,¡± Aster commented without thinking.

    ¡°What does that have to do with anything?¡± They grinned, then winced. ¡°Ohh, the pain is coming in now.¡± They untied a shade cloak Hyacinth had apparently managed to get around the wound. ¡°I think Grim got the short end of the stick here. What do you think, Fen? In worse shape than the Lantern¡¯s arm?¡±

    Fennel blinked a few times. ¡°...Fen?¡±

    Grim-Tune snapped their fingers. ¡°Right, I just met you today. Is ¡®Fennel¡¯ what you prefer then?¡±

    ¡°Uh... yes. Yep. Fennel. That¡¯s my name.¡± He chuckled and scooted closer to examine the wound. ¡°...It¡¯s hard to tell,¡± he said after a moment. ¡°Both wounds were pretty deep, but neither seem likely to be fatal, especially with treatment. I¡¯m not yet familiar with treating Shades, much less this mirrorlike variety of Shade.¡± He sighed. ¡°I wish they¡¯d given us some information about it first.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if they know more than we do,¡± Grim-Tune said, examining the wound themself. ¡°Just because they live in this body doesn¡¯t mean they have the information they need to really understand it. I¡¯ll tell you everything I can.¡±

    Fennel nodded. He collected his supplies and set to work treating the wound. Aster, Hyacinth, and Mira mostly just watched, hoping to learn something, but it didn¡¯t seem like there was much they could do to help. Aster patrolled the area periodically, a part of her constantly expecting to find something stalking them in the fog.

 Chapter 9 - Warm Futility

    Even after they''d left Grim to their own devices, Aster couldn''t stop thinking about the things they''d said. They''d done their best to treat Grim¡¯s wounds, but it didn''t feel like they''d done enough. It wasn''t like they could''ve taken Grim or the Lantern with them, that would''ve introduced all kinds of dangers and discomforts for both parties, but...

    Aster made herself walk. She moved methodically, calculatedly, filling the role they needed her to fill. She could do that. Her mind was elsewhere, though, and her limbs didn¡¯t want to move. Every movement felt strange and foreign and unwilling. It shouldn¡¯t matter if she moved languidly or strangely, though. Not right now. She just had to keep moving, that was all they needed from her.

    Even though Grim hadn¡¯t tried to hurt Aster, their words that hadn¡¯t even been directed at her cut deep.¡°I give them the courtesy they never spare for the creatures of the Depths. ... I give them a chance to try to prove themselves to me. ... By refraining from the slaughter of creatures they don¡¯t understand, even when they pose potential danger to them. By seeing the humanity in Shades, despite what they¡¯ve been told.¡±

    ¡°I judge your guilt as deep and unyielding.¡±

    Aster couldn¡¯t breathe for a moment.

    She tried to furtively clutch at her chest as she tried to breathe, as if any of that could help her soothe the pain she couldn¡¯t feel physically. None of it would unravel the knots in herself.

    There was a Shade that had haunted her longer than any other. One she¡¯d fought that had hurt her deeper than any... No. That was wrong. It wasn¡¯t their fault. They¡¯d attacked her, but then, they¡¯d been desperate... but they could take some of the blame, couldn¡¯t they?

    Aster was grasping at straws, wasn¡¯t she?

    It was self defense, she desperately told herself. It was. It was true.

    ¡°By refraining from the slaughter of creatures they don¡¯t understand, even when they pose potential danger to them.¡±

    They¡¯d just wanted to live, hadn¡¯t they? Just like her.

    ¡°I judge your guilt as deep and unyielding.¡±

    What good would it do even if she mourned them now?

    What could she possibly do?

    Aster wanted to scream. As if that would do anything at all.

    She could ask for help. She could talk to the others. They¡¯d probably have good things to say.

    Yet, she didn¡¯t want to hear any wise advice. Any methods to move forward. It felt wrong.

    Aster didn¡¯t deserve to heal, did she? After all, that Shade would never get to heal.

    If she¡¯d just been more careful... If she¡¯d just remembered to care more about everyone else, in that moment... She could¡¯ve prevented this. She could¡¯ve done better. And since she could¡¯ve done better, and since it didn¡¯t have to be that way...

    Despite what she understood about why it happened, it was still her fault, wasn¡¯t it?

    Does it matter now? She asked herself numbly. I can¡¯t change it. I can just be... someone else. From that moment on. I can learn, it¡¯s the least I can do. I can be everything I wasn¡¯t then.

    Maybe she was one of Grim¡¯s enemies.

    It wasn¡¯t about intentions, was it? It was about potential. It was about whatever really happened.

    It was so long ago. Had she proven yet that she could be different?

    Could she? It felt wrong to trust herself.

    She instructed herself to stop thinking. She just had to keep moving.

    Keep going, keep moving forward, ever closer to her next inevitable mistake. Ever closer to the moment when she finally inadvertently broke it all. Then at least she wouldn¡¯t have to dread it anymore. Then at least she couldn¡¯t lie to anyone anymore.

    It was exhausting to pretend. It was exhausting to always look just like herself, even when she couldn¡¯t be.

    As if I¡¯m the only one that¡¯s exhausted. Aster blinked, looked around at her companions, each cutting through the fog. It wasn¡¯t like she was the only one in pain.

    Who was she to seek solutions for herself? Why her?

    She took a deep breath. It didn¡¯t help much.

    Aster dug out one of her maps and studied it as she walked, trying to determine where they must be. She¡¯d rarely ventured this deep into the first level, so all the information she had from this point forward was vague and secondhand. It¡¯d already been a while since they¡¯d seen an opening to the sky, though.

    There¡¯s no turning back from here.

    Well, it wasn¡¯t like there was much chance to turn back before, either.

    Aster wasn''t sure where the fog would let up. If anything, it seemed to be getting thicker, though maybe that was her imagination. She could almost imagine she wasn''t deep in the Depths, when the walls were far enough apart that the fog entirely obscured them.

    ¡°Should we take some precautions to make sure none of us get lost?¡± Mira piped up, half-visible in the roiling mist. Her voice was a mix of hesitation and certainty that struck Aster as a suggestion she''d been second-guessing for a while. ¡°Sometimes I can''t see all of us at once, in the fog.¡±

    Aster blinked, silently cursing her own inattention. ¡°You¡¯re right. Thanks for pointing it out, I¡¯m not sure why I didn¡¯t notice.¡± She let out a breath. ¡°Not sure why¡±, huh? I¡¯m too busy tripping over myself, I¡¯m plenty sure about that. She wanted to apologize, but it didn¡¯t seem like it¡¯d mean anything either way. Aster flung a bit of pooled light into the fog to test, but sure enough, the mist closed the cleared area quickly.

    ¡°Hey, Tune,¡± she said, glancing back at them.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Do you still have that little light you snatched earlier?¡±

    ¡°Mhm.¡± They dug it out and held it in a shade cloth on their hand. The fog cleared in a small area around the light, where its warmth radiated. ¡°Huh. That''s nice. Not much of a range, though.¡± They tossed it back and forth between their hands, and the fog did stay clear for longer that way, but it still gradually seeped back in to fill the area.

    ¡°Mm.¡± Aster nodded. She took out a long, sturdy rope, tied it around her non-dominant wrist, and brought the rope over to Mira. ¡°This is probably the best we can do for now, then.¡±

    Mira paused, looking at the rope and the way Aster had tied it. She nodded, tying it to her own wrist.

    Aster moved through the group, letting each of them add themself to the rope,  leaving some slack between each person to let them move mostly normally. Aster stepped over to Tune last. ¡°How far along the rope do you need to be?¡±

    Tune hesitated. ¡°Doesn''t this just mean that if we get in a bad situation, we''re all stuck together?¡±

    ¡°You''d rather run?¡±

    They paused, studying her expression. ¡°It depends.¡±

    ¡°That seems like an awfully evasive answer.¡±

    They folded their arms. ¡°That is the point of running. You know, evading something? Disaster, usually.¡± They sighed. ¡°Look, I''m just trying to be realistic. There''s no point in just not thinking about it, to avoid coming to any conclusion you might feel bad about. Either way, it''s not like the rope is foolproof. So we could escape it if it becomes a problem, at least. Just... Let me trail behind, please. To be out of the light, and to be able to choose how close to be.¡±

    Aster nodded. This was one of the longest ropes she had, so she was able to give them a good amount of slack. She left the rest of the rope with them and moved back to the rest of the group. They kept moving.

    The fog only deepened as they continued. Aster steadily became sure that she really could feel it, with occasional droplets gradually condensating on her skin and clothes.

    The tunnel they were in began to slope steadily downward. Aster checked the maps she''d collected. They were out of the territory she¡¯d personally mapped, so the pieces of information she had were scattered and sometimes outdated. She didn''t have any sources that mapped routes all the way through the Depths, though she had reason to believe that there were tunnel systems that went the whole way.

    She couldn''t shake the feeling that she was leading them into some preventable disaster. The problem was that she quite nearly always felt that way, and it was difficult to inquire into where the feeling came from and if it meant anything at all.

    Was the fog really getting even thicker? Surely it was her imagination this time, right?

    The fog was gradually resolving into a layer of dew. Condensating, permeating the air. And at a certain point, if the humidity reached a high enough percentage, it wouldn¡¯t be able to hold any more water, and...

    Aster stopped at the edge of a much steeper slope and looked up across an underground lake. Little floating lights drifted lazily through the fog above the water.

    She sighed, half-heartedly kicking at the lapping water. Commonly visited bodies of water in the Depths tended to have some combination of boats or bridges or something in that vein, for Lanterns¡¯ use. This one wasn''t exactly ¡°commonly visited¡±, though. So now it was Aster''s turn to conjure up a suitable solution.

    It''d be fitting, wouldn''t it? If, instead of a crucial, dramatic moment that finally displayed her weakness, her great failure came by simple incompetence at a logistical challenge. Not only would it prove her inability, it also wouldn''t even be able to be construed as an honorable defeat by a formidable enemy, it''d just be...

    Shut up, not helpful.

    She just had to focus on the next step she would take. She couldn''t afford to accept any defeat that seemed the least bit negotiable.

    Tune watched as Aster took in a breath. ¡°Well. This is... Inconvenient.¡±

    ¡°You don''t say.¡± Hyacinth bent down, examining some of the loose rocks at the shoreline. He skipped one across the water.

    ¡°Great idea! We''ll simply become pebbles,¡± Tune piped up from where they lingered away from the group¡¯s light.

    If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

    ¡°What?¡± Hyacinth turned toward them, an eyebrow raised.

    ¡°The pebbles sure have an easier time getting across than we do. That one didn''t make it all the way, but I bet we could figure out a method. So, naturally, we do that, and then transform ourselves into pebbles.¡± They tried to say it so that the others couldn''t tell if they were trying to make an actual suggestion, and could mayhaps find that more puzzling, even, than the suggestion itself.

    Hyacinth stared at them quizzically. ¡°What?¡± He repeated.

    Tune laughed. ¡°It was the easiest solution to think of, was it not?¡±

    ¡°That doesn''t make it easy to put into practice, much less, y''know, possible?¡±

    ¡°Of course not. Did I ever say such a thing?¡± They grinned at Hyacinth.

    He shook his head in bemusement. ¡°O-okay then.¡±

    Tune hummed to themself as they picked their way over to the water, staying just outside the range of the Lanterns¡¯ light. They guided their tether with the hand it was tied to, making sure it wouldn''t get in their way.

    They could see a hint of a reflection of themself in the dark water. On a whim, they took out the little floating light again and left it hovering above the water so there was light to reflect. There they were. ¡°Tune¡±, whoever that was. Well, whoever that was going to become. They¡¯d build something. They just wished they could first understand more about the abandoned structure they had to build over, so to speak.

    Tune traced their cheek with their translucent fingers, brushing the marks that had been their constellations. They looked strange with all their lights out now. Darkened, you could say - like lights in a house''s windows. Would anyone ever really live there again?

    They retrieved the light, tucked it away, and brushed their fingers against the surface of the water. It was shockingly cold, but still liquid.

    Tune could make it colder.

    They swirled and gathered the shadows over the water, displacing lingering bits of light and heat until they could hear a soft cracking noise of frost and ice snaking along the water¡¯s surface.

    They deepened their gathering darkness and continued the process until they¡¯d formed a small crust of ice cresting the water. Tune tested it with their hand. It wouldn¡¯t hold them with their full weight, but...

    They shifted into their more insubstantial form and stepped up onto the ice. It was slippery, but in this form, it could hold them. They found it harder to keep hold of the shadows (or much of anything) in this form, so they stepped back and shifted back.

    ¡°Hyeheh.¡± They smirked to themself, stretching their hands together out in front of them as they prepared to see how far they could go with this.

    Which brought the rope around their wrist clearly into view.

    Tune blinked. Right. They glanced over to the group, who were discussing amongst themselves.

    They sighed. It was a small lake, all things considered, but even if they could get across on their own, what point would there be? Even if I managed to get out of the Depths on my own, I¡¯d have to constantly hide from every other person and the sun.

    Would that really be harder than trying to work with others?

    S¡¯pose I¡¯ll just have to find out. Tune finished stretching, then moved a little closer to the group, as close as they could get without needing to worry about the light. ¡°So, what¡¯s the plan? We got one yet?¡±

    ¡°Something like that,¡± Hyacinth said. ¡°We¡¯re thinking of patrolling the shoreline to see if there are any better locations or structures for crossing.¡±

    Aster nodded. ¡°What were you doing over there?¡±

    ¡°Uh, you know how some creatures in the Depths can gather shadows and displace heat and stuff? I can form ice on the water, and it can hold my weight while I¡¯m in my other form.¡± Tune cupped their chin in the crook of their thumb and pointer finger. ¡°If you guys wanna pick a direction, I can go the other way, and we can see if we find anything nearby. I bet I could make it across on my own, if I needed. Though uh, there wouldn¡¯t be a point unless I use that to help you guys come too.¡± That sounded like an afterthought, didn¡¯t it? How much did they have to make it seem more and more genuine before it was the right balance to be believable?

    Aster paused. ¡°That¡¯d be fine, but... that doesn¡¯t seem very safe for you.¡±

    Tune tapped their cheek. ¡°I guess not, but... It¡¯s not like any of the rest of you have a less tangible form, unless I¡¯ve missed something.¡±

    ¡°I could go with you,¡± Hyacinth offered. He pointed to the rope he¡¯d tied on his arm. ¡°I¡¯m the next person tethered after you, and I¡¯m an experienced Lantern. I could follow you along this shore and stay within earshot of you, at least.¡±

    Tune looked at him, a part of them trying to figure out if they were worried for Tune¡¯s safety or just wanted to keep an eye on them. It¡¯s not like I have enough information to figure that out. It¡¯s not worth worrying about right now. ¡°Sure, that could work. Don¡¯t blame me if that plan doesn¡¯t go well, though.¡±

    Hyacinth raised an eyebrow at them.

    They sighed softly, their stomach clenching for a second as they realized how strange that sounded without the context of their thoughts. ¡°Sorry, I mean... I¡¯m concerned that will just split up the group more and introduce more potential danger.¡±

    ¡°Neither of us would be fully alone, though. That¡¯s better than you being alone.¡±

    ¡°Why would you trust me like that?¡± It slipped out before they thought it through. Aw heck. Was it wise to say that out loud?

    Hyacinth blinked a few times. ¡°Would you rather I don¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly, I just...¡± Tune hummed softly, tapping their fingers on their folded arm. ¡°Look, I don¡¯t want anything to happen to you either. Especially since I¡¯d... probably get blamed for it regardless of what happened, right?¡± They cleared their throat awkwardly. ¡°Um. Well, not necessarily. It¡¯s just... A possibility I have to consider, y¡¯know?¡±

    Hyacinth let out a breath. ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°I know we haven¡¯t figured out how much trust we¡¯ve really proven yet,¡± Aster said, tapping her fingers on her lantern handle in a quick, rhythmic pattern. ¡°Like, how much we can actually trust each other. We¡¯ve had glimpses, though, and we don¡¯t have a lot of options at the moment. If I¡¯m going to fail, I¡¯d rather fail by trusting someone when I shouldn¡¯t than by distrusting someone when I should trust them. Maybe that¡¯s... na?ve, but I think we at least have enough information to test our trust a little.¡±

    Tune paused to think for a moment, but no better options came to mind. Hyacinth untied his tether and brought out a long rope of his own, tying it to his arm and offering one end of it to Tune.

    Tune hesitated a moment longer, then took the rope. ¡°Can this span the whole lake?¡±

    Hyacinth glanced at the water. ¡°It strikes me as more of a pond, really, but it¡¯s hard to tell. Either way, it probably makes it across a good portion of it, and I think having a tether to each other will be worth the trouble, in case we aren¡¯t able to call out if something happens.¡±

    They nodded, tying it tightly to their wrist. They paused, then shifted to their less substantial form and tested the rope. Even though their extremities tended to be their most translucent features, their arm did work as an anchor point to pull them, though it still wasn¡¯t their center of gravity. Their torso and upper legs seemed less tangible in this form, actually.

    Tune shifted back. ¡°I suppose I¡¯m ready, then.¡±

    Hyacinth nodded. ¡°So, you all are heading that way?¡± He gestured to the side that was on the right when facing the lake.

    ¡°Seems so,¡± Aster said, looking that way. ¡°There doesn¡¯t seem to be much difference from what we know so far.¡±

    ¡°¡®Kay.¡± Hyacinth left a Lantern marker on the ground. ¡°We can rendezvous here in a couple hours if all else fails. Do your best to be safe.¡±

    Aster nodded. ¡°Both of you as well, alright?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡± Hyacinth smiled, holding up a hand as he turned to leave. ¡°Hope to see you all soon.¡±

    The groups split. Hyacinth arranged a few dimming cloths over his lantern so he could walk with Tune.

    They hummed their tune absently, the one that was their namesake, though it wasn¡¯t the only one they would hum. They weren¡¯t sure how many of their tunes had existed in their life before and how many they made up as they went; it wasn¡¯t like they could check.

    Hyacinth stretched out his hand toward the water as he walked. Tune watched curiously. The stars on his hand glowed softly, and a faint ray of light reached out from his hand toward one of the floating lights. The light ray seemed to beckon the little light, and it drifted toward him, its soft light cutting through the fog. He smiled slightly, coaxing it further until it was in reach.

    ¡°These things have been pretty safe in your experience, right?¡± He glanced at Tune.

    They nodded. ¡°Haven¡¯t tested with a Lucenari yet, though.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re about to find out.¡± He snatched the little light and kept walking while he examined it. ¡°It¡¯s warm.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t burn your skin, does it?¡±

    He looked up. ¡°No. It does that to you?¡±

    Tune nodded. ¡°Just a bit, it¡¯s not as bad as most lights. I can handle it fine with a layer of cloth or so.¡±

    Hyacinth¡¯s gaze lingered on them for a moment, then he turned back to the light, tossing it in the air. He expected to catch it on the way down while he walked, but had to grab it early as it drifted languidly down. ¡°Do you like the warmth?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I have pretty good tolerance to cold, thankfully - you need it down here - but... some part of me misses warmth.¡± They hesitated. Nah. That¡¯d be dumb to say, wouldn¡¯t it? ¡°These lights somehow feel a bit like home¡±, what does that even mean?

    ¡°I see.¡± They walked in silence for a small stretch, then Hyacinth tucked the little light away and turned his attention in the direction of the water again. He swept out a hand, and more of the stars on his arm glowed this time, sending out little rays of light, as he gently pulled several of the little lights at once, stirring up the fog and creating openings in it. He switched targets, moving further along the lights toward the other shore.

    ¡°Hey, I saw the other shore,¡± Tune said once a bit of the fog cleared enough that they could spot some ground. ¡°You¡¯re right, it¡¯s not all that far across. Can you tell how deep it is?¡±

    Hyacinth chuckled. ¡°We dropped a weighted line while you were distracted. It¡¯s pretty deep - as far as Aster could tell, most of it is at least twice our height, at least in the area we checked.¡±

    ¡°Ah.¡± Tune hesitated. ¡°While I¡¯m in my other form, I won¡¯t be able to speak. Um... If I hold out my hand straight like this,¡± they demonstrated, ¡°that¡¯ll mean ¡®stop¡¯. If I make a fist and move it quickly like this, that¡¯s ¡®danger¡¯, or tugging on the rope if I need help. And I¡¯ll just point if I want you to look a certain way or keep going. Does that sound manageable?¡±

    Hyacinth nodded, then smiled slightly. ¡°That¡¯s easy to remember, don¡¯t worry. We might wanna look into learning a sign language sometime, though. That¡¯d be easier than making up everything yourself, right?¡±

    Tune chuckled. ¡°Yeah, probably. I don¡¯t exactly have resources for that at the moment, though. Were there ways to learn one in your hometown?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I never learned very much, but I knew it was there. I¡¯m sure there are resources to be found beyond the Depths, too.¡±

    Tune paused. ¡°Do you think we¡¯ll get there?¡±

    Hyacinth went quiet for a moment. ¡°I hope so.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯re not sure?¡±

    He rubbed his neck self-consciously. ¡°I¡¯m not great at making realistic predictions. I tend to assume the worst, so instead of trying to really pin down what I assume will happen, I generally just try to do everything I can.¡±

    ¡°I guess that makes sense. How do you know when you need to give up on futile efforts then?¡±

    Hyacinth stiffened. Even Tune could see he was suddenly uncomfortable. He chuckled nervously. ¡°I guess I don¡¯t. Most things feel futile, so I don¡¯t often try to think too far ahead.¡± He dropped his hand. ¡°It¡¯s not perfect. I know that.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I wasn¡¯t trying to...¡± Tune exhaled softly. ¡°Sorry. I don¡¯t think I thought very far ahead about what I was saying.¡± They chuckled weakly and paused awkwardly. ¡°Hey. You¡¯ve made it this far. How many supposedly futile things have had to work out to get here?¡±

    Hyacinth paused, then smiled slightly. ¡°A lot. In my own estimation, I never would¡¯ve lived this long, with all the moments I thought I wouldn¡¯t survive. I¡¯ve so far been wrong each of those times.¡±

    ¡°I hope you keep being wrong, then.¡± Tune paused to leave the statement unclear for a few seconds, then smiled mischievously.

    He laughed. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    Tune walked a little further, then stepped toward the water. They formed a crust of ice as large as they could make quickly, spreading the frost as far forward as they could reach from where they stood, then shifted to their less tangible form and stepped onto the ice. They stepped forward cautiously, but it did seem like enough. They edged out further, swirling and stirring the darkness ahead of them to make more ice as they went. It formed slower with the lesser control they had in this form, but they thought they could get the hang of it with more practice. Hyacinth slowed down, following them parallel along the shore. He stopped as they slowly ventured out further onto the water, and adjusted the floating lights as he could to try to clear the fog for them as they went.

    Tune nodded appreciatively toward him. He dipped his head slightly in return.

    As they approached the other shore, they thought they could see a dark shape on it. They squinted, as if that¡¯d let them see through the fog, then pushed a light within their reach to clear the fog in front of them. Sure enough, the shape resolved into an object - a boat, in fact, grounded on the opposite shore.

    Tune let out a soundless whoop, forgetting the futility of it, and turned toward Hyacinth to point excitedly at it.

    He smiled, doing a thumbs-up, then shrugging. ¡°I can¡¯t see that far with such little light, but I¡¯m glad you found something,¡± he called over to them.

    They nodded and began picking their way back. Some of the ice had already melted, but they could make it again easily enough. They could keep it cold enough if they focused on it a bit, so they weren¡¯t likely to be caught by surprise with the ice under their feet melting suddenly, but they weren¡¯t sure if they could maintain much more at once.

    Their attention was stolen by what they thought was a light flashing deep in the water. It only appeared for a moment, and once they looked they couldn¡¯t find it again. Had they imagined it?

    No, there it was again.

    The little floating lights drifted close around Tune, seeming almost to gather toward them.

    ¡°Tune?¡± Hyacinth called from the shore.

    They waved their hand absently, wanting him to wait. They crouched down, trying to get a better look.

    Tune exhaled, letting themself relax. They could feel the warmth of the lights clustering around them. They¡¯d found the boat, and getting back would be easy. What was the rush? They could spare a moment to figure out what could be glimmering down there.

    A shape with the light approached through the water, moving fluidly. Tune leaned forward, hoping to catch a glimpse of it. Their ice started melting, but they decided not to renew it for now. They could get a better look from in the water, after all. It¡¯d be a bit cold at first, but they could take the lights with them for that. They were so warm, so gentle.

    ¡°Tune!¡± Hyacinth called out to them with an urgency they found confusing as they slipped into the eager embrace of the water.

 Chapter 10 - Tethers

    Tune felt the shock of the cold as they sank into the water, but sure enough, the little floating lights followed them, clustering around them in a chorus of warmth.

    They stared down into the deep, and the creature with the lights stared back. It appeared to be some sort of squid, somewhat larger than Tune, but probably not quite twice their height. At least not the main body, the tentacles seemed long enough. It had lights all along its length, and the floating lights dutifully attended it. Like what Hyacinth had been doing before, little rays of light shone out from some of its lights and beckoned the floating lights around Tune toward it. They pressed gently into Tune as they sank downward.

    They reached out toward the fascinating creature, wanting to understand everything they could before... Before what? What was the urgency?

    Wait, that seemed strange. Hadn''t there been something?

    They didn''t want to think about it. It was so warm right here, despite the cold of the water. There were so many of the little lights, it felt like they could stay here forever. They could be warm. They could simply explore. They wouldn''t have to be anything in particular, they wouldn''t have to be exhausted like that.

    Was this what it was like, then, to have a home again?

    The rope tugged on their wrist. Urgently, desperately. What was that about? They tried to let out a sigh. It was a bit difficult, in the water.

    It must be Hyacinth. They should go explain to him why nothing was wrong.

    What words would they say? How would they explain this feeling?

    Come to think of it, where was this feeling coming from?

    The creature wrapped a tentacle around Tune¡¯s leg, pulling them gently downward. They looked at it, gazed into its patient eyes.

    If Tune was going to go talk to Hyacinth, they''d have to remove their blanket of warmth first, so they could make themself leave.

    They swept their arm through the floating lights, and they drifted away for just long enough that the cold water rushed in and the suppressed sense of urgency slammed back into clear focus.

    Tune grabbed onto the rope and kicked with their legs, trying to swim and pull themself along the rope. How long had it been since they''d taken a breath?

    Oh, they were not going to die of being manipulated by some floating lights and a random cavern squid. If they died like that they''d never be able to live it down (pun intended).

    They still weren''t quite taking this seriously enough, huh? They batted away some of the lights that had drifted close again and used the rope to pull themself up as hard as they could.

    The squid didn''t let go, so they kicked at its tentacle. It didn''t relent, so they shot a piece of the swirling darkness at one of its lights. That made it flinch just enough for them to heave themself up out of the water.

    Tune gasped for air, coughing and spitting out water. Their nose and throat stung from letting so much of it in. They continued to pull themself along the rope as Hyacinth pulled from his side.

    ¡°The lights can dampen your sense of urgency,¡± they called out to Hyacinth. At some point they''d shifted back to their regular form.

    The squid pursued them, lethargically at first, then it surged forward as it began to think its prey was getting away. Several of its tentacles darted toward them, reaching to entangle their limbs. They shifted into their less tangible form and clung to the rope, still pulling themself forward as much as they could manage.

    The squid struggled more to grab hold of them, but still managed to wrap a tentacle around their ankle and tug. They winced at the pain of the clashing forces and tried to yank their foot away.

    A long shard of light crashed into the squid from the direction of shore. The squid recoiled at the heat and light, though it didn''t seem as bothered as most creatures in the Depths; given its apparent relationship to light, it probably didn''t have a particular sensitivity. Tune kicked away, redoubling their efforts to pull themself along the rope and push through the water.

    They glanced up, wondering how Hyacinth had managed to fire the light shard while keeping his grip on the rope. It appeared to have been Mira, actually. Aster, Mira, and Fennel had apparently noticed the commotion and run to Hyacinth. Mira had stopped partway through with her lantern and a knife.

    Aster reached Hyacinth and set up her own lantern to cut out patterns of light toward the squid. The squid recoiled, out of the way of the attacking light. Fennel helped Hyacinth with the rope, and soon Tune¡¯s foot brushed the ground as they neared shore. With one last kick off from the ground and a heave of the rope, they were back on shore, breathing hard.

    Tune scrambled away from the edge and sank to their knees away from the water, shaking from some combination of cold and the last dregs of dying adrenaline.

    Also fear. It wasn''t like they''d want to admit it, but it was useful to be aware to themself that that was also there.

    If I''d been on my own, I probably would''ve died there.

    From such a small thing? How had they been overcome in such a small amount of time, with such simple tactics?

    Fennel stepped over and draped a blanket around them. They flinched at first, not having seen him approach behind them, but then they nodded in thanks, pulling it close around them. A part of them wanted the little floating lights back, for their warmth, but they didn''t trust the feeling of safety they exuded anymore.

    ¡°Breathe slowly,¡± Fennel said softly.

    Slowly? I need to take in as much air as I can, I almost... No, he''s saying I''m hyperventilating. He''s probably right. Tune nodded numbly, forcing themself to slow down, breathe deeply and slowly as if they could be calm, as if they could think about anything other than how to avoid letting that ever happen again, as if...

    As if they were safe.

    Hyacinth, Mira, Aster, Fennel. People they''d basically just met, people that barely knew anything about them. Yet they cared anyway, for some reason. Hyacinth had been willing to be tethered to Tune, to risk being pulled in with them, just to make sure they''d have a better chance of keeping Tune safe.

    Tune breathed. Still, despite all the times it all could''ve ended. But this time, those breaths didn''t strike them as stolen, taken in defiance from a world that didn''t care about them. It felt a little like a gift from people that cared. Whether or not it was useful for them personally, whether or not Tune had proven they ¡°deserved¡± it, they cared anyway. Why?

    As much as they wanted to know why, did they need to question it right now? It felt like maybe it''d break if they brought any attention to it. That didn''t really make sense, but it... Had to be fragile somehow, right? What else could it be? Wasn''t everything fragile somehow?

    Tune let out a long exhale and turned around to look at the others. Aster and Mira were working on getting a fire going - were they worried about Tune¡¯s temperature? - and Hyacinth seemed to be inspecting his hands.

    They scooted over to him and saw that he had rope burns on his hands from pulling them to shore.

    Hyacinth glanced at them and chuckled awkwardly. ¡°Uh, I think I was holding on too tight.¡±

    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

    Tune met his eyes. ¡°Thank you.¡± They gathered shadows onto his palms, displacing the light and heat there. They coaxed frost to form on his friction burns, then looked up at him again. ¡°Does that help? I can keep going.¡±

    He let out a breath. ¡°It does feel a little better that way. It¡¯s not a big deal though, it¡¯ll heal on its own.¡±

    ¡°Too bad, I¡¯m impatient.¡± Tune smirked mischievously, carefully forming more frost on the friction burns, trying to avoid making his hands too numb. They hesitated, touching their own hand to try to check the warmth, then placing one hand below Hyacinth¡¯s. ¡°I don¡¯t want to get your hands too cold. Is my hand warm at all?¡±

    ¡°Um... A little bit.¡±

    ¡°A little bit for real, or a little bit as in ¡®I don¡¯t want you to feel bad so I¡¯m exaggerating¡¯?¡±

    Hyacinth blinked a few times, then gave a short laugh. ¡°A little bit for real.¡±

    Tune placed both their hands on the backs of Hyacinth¡¯s to counteract the cold, then thought retroactively that they should probably check if he looked uncomfortable. He didn¡¯t seem especially uncomfortable, as far as they could tell. ¡°Am I right that that is something you¡¯d do? Exaggerate how helpful something is?¡± They raised their eyebrows at him.

    ¡°I can neither confirm nor deny-¡±

    ¡°You absolutely can.¡±

    Hyacinth chuckled. ¡°How about ¡®it depends¡¯? I would do that if it seemed like it might be helpful.¡±

    ¡°So I called it.¡±

    He sighed. ¡°I suppose I must concede that you did, but I don¡¯t have to like it.¡±

    ¡°Oh, can you not celebrate the victory simply because it was mine and not yours?¡± They smiled to hold back a chuckle.

    ¡°Will you take even that small privilege from me?¡±

    ¡°Yyep.¡±

    ¡°How ruthless.¡± Hyacinth laughed.

    ¡°I win again. I stayed in character longer, hyeheh.¡±

    ¡°Pfft. Good job, Tune, we¡¯re all so proud of you.¡±

    ¡°As you should be.¡±

    Fennel knelt by Hyacinth with some bandages prepared. Tune removed their hands.

    ¡°Seriously, guys, it¡¯s nothing major-¡± Hyacinth started.

    ¡°The journey will likely continue to be intensive, so it¡¯s best to treat it as well as we can regardless,¡± Fennel said. ¡°We don¡¯t want anything to get any worse than it has to.¡±

    Hyacinth bit his lip briefly, but let Fennel start bandaging his hands. ¡°Was I that obvious about the burns?¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± Tune said.

    ¡°Nothing gets past me,¡± Fennel said with a grin, which quickly faltered. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s demonstrably incorrect, but I do try. I¡¯d rather know, always. I can hold back if you really need me to, but I at least always want to be aware.¡±

    Hyacinth winced. It seemed more from the words than from the injury, though Tune wasn¡¯t sure why. ¡°Thank you. I¡¯ll... try to let you know.¡±

    Fennel nodded. ¡°Good.¡±

    The group took some time to recuperate with warmth and food. They set up a makeshift shade cover for the fire to shield many of them from the light.

    ¡°So, what was it that you saw over there earlier?¡± Hyacinth finally asked.

    Tune looked at him. ¡°Oh, did I not say? There¡¯s a boat.¡±

    ¡°A boat? How big is it?¡± Aster leaned forward a little.

    ¡°Probably big enough to fit two or three of us at a time,¡± Tune said.

    ¡°So we¡¯ll have to go over in two trips...¡± Aster sighed. ¡°How do we get it over here?¡±

    ¡°I can get to the boat, if you guys address the whole squid problem.¡±

    Aster looked at them with a sort of grimace. ¡°Is that really our only option? I don¡¯t want to make you do that again.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that my problem? I wouldn¡¯t offer if it wasn¡¯t our best option, believe me.¡±

    Aster studied their face, concern written all over hers.

    ¡°We at least know what we¡¯re up against this time, and they¡¯ll still be tethered to me just in case,¡± Hyacinth said.

    ¡°Nope, not you,¡± Tune said immediately. ¡°Not with your friction-burnt hands. We¡¯re not risking making that worse.¡±

    He opened his mouth as if to argue, then closed it again and nodded.

    ¡°You can be tethered to me, then,¡± Aster offered.

    ¡°Both of us,¡± Fennel said.

    Aster looked at him, paused for a moment, then nodded. ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s probably a good idea.¡±

    Fennel changed their configuration of security ropes while Aster, Mira, and Hyacinth set to clearing a path by beckoning the floating lights away from the area Tune was trying to get to. It didn¡¯t take long to prepare, and soon Tune was staring down the water again.

    They¡¯d already made an initial platform of ice. Now all they had to do was shift into their less tangible form and set off.

    Tune made a point not to linger on thresholds.

    Most of the time, at least.

    What more could they possibly have done so far to prove to me that I can trust them? Am I really that paranoid?

    Tune shook their head as if to shake off the hesitation and shifted forms seconds before they stepped onto the ice.

    They continued forward most of the way without incident, then froze as they saw light moving far beneath the surface. It disappeared after a moment of watching it, and they looked around frantically for a few seconds before taking a steadying breath and continuing forward. It didn¡¯t appear again on their way to the boat.

    They¡¯d been right about the approximate size. Whoever had left the little wooden boat had also left its oars with it, though a little carelessly, one in the boat and the other leaning on it. Overall, it looked to be in good shape. Sure enough, it perched steadily atop the water once Tune pushed it in, swaying slightly from the recent motion.

    They hopped in, took up the oars, and pushed off from the shore, forcing themself not to stall. The fog had long closed back in, leaving no trace of the other shore, but they had the two ropes pointing back in the direction they¡¯d come.

    Tune rowed steadily toward the source of the ropes, the relative silence feeling a little suffocating around them. Occasionally a few lights would emerge from the fog, drifting toward them, then something would seem to shift their gaze away and they¡¯d float away again.

    The squid didn¡¯t attack them on the return trip either. They didn¡¯t feel safe until they touched the ground again, with their own two feet.

    It seemed like a blink before they were in the boat again, heading toward the other side with Hyacinth and Aster.

    Being on the water again still felt a little like holding their breath.

    The distance wasn¡¯t all that far, all things considered, and the boat wasn¡¯t especially slow, but time still seemed to move languidly, as if it were suddenly much more viscous than usual all of a sudden.

    Hyacinth stared into the water as they made their way across. "It didn''t hurt, did it?" he murmured. "You didn''t even notice you were drowning until you''d gotten away from some of the lights."

    Tune hesitated, studying him. There was a strange, distant look in his eyes. ¡°Why do you ask?¡±

    He looked suddenly uncomfortable, seeming to tear his gaze away from the water to meet their eyes. ¡°I was concerned,¡± he said, to the tune of a half-truth.

    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t feel the pain in the moment. That doesn¡¯t mean it didn¡¯t hurt me.¡± They paused. ¡°Besides, it hurt you in the moment, in a way. Wasn¡¯t it frightening?¡±

    ¡°It was.¡± He took a deep breath through his nose. ¡°I didn¡¯t know why you didn¡¯t seem concerned, or how long you could survive down there... And I couldn¡¯t stand it if something happened to you because of me.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t aware you were a squid in the Starless Depths,¡± Tune said, as deadpan as they could. Which they thought was pretty good, actually. ¡°You learn something new every day.¡±

    Hyacinth looked up at them sharply. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯d be because of the squid, not because of you. It¡¯s not like you were the one that attacked me.¡±

    He let out a frustrated breath, though it didn¡¯t seem directed at them. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a useful distinction. It doesn¡¯t really change anything.¡±

    ¡°Would taking the blame change anything?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d make sure I learned from it. I¡¯d make myself be better in the future.¡± He hesitated. ¡°Somehow.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re saying you wouldn¡¯t do that if you didn¡¯t think it was your fault?¡±

    Hyacinth paused.

    ¡°Sometimes, guilt is all that can shock you out of the exhaustion,¡± Aster said from the front of the boat. ¡°Uh, sorry. That¡¯s just... what I¡¯ve found. I¡¯m sure there are better ways, though. Sorry. I don¡¯t... I don¡¯t want you to do that. I don¡¯t know why I thought it was useful to mention.¡±

    There was a short silence. ¡°I like to think that I¡¯d try to learn from it regardless, but it¡¯s...¡± Hyacinth seemed to be struggling to put it into words. ¡°It¡¯s all just so tiring. I¡¯m always so tired of...¡± He blinked, looking at Tune again. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s not your problem.¡±

    ¡°Neither am I. I¡¯m not your problem. You seem all too willing to shoulder my burdens, though. Seems like a bit of a double standard, doesn¡¯t it?¡± Tune sighed. ¡°Look, I do miss feeling safe. I¡¯d never want to settle for that false safety, though. As much as its hold was strong on me in the moment, I choose to reject it now. And I can tell you that you deserve better too.¡± They pointed at him. ¡°You can have better. We¡¯ll blaze our own path, we¡¯ll seize our own futures out of the jaws of fate if we have to.¡± They met his gaze intensely. ¡°Okay?¡±

    He chuckled nervously. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best.¡±

    Tune nodded, dropping their hand.

    A few quiet moments later, the boat ground to a stop on the far shore.

 Chapter 11 - The Pervasive Emptiness

    Aster¡¯s arms were sore from rowing both groups back and forth, but it¡¯d sounded more difficult to ask anyone else to take a turn, so she didn¡¯t regret it. It made sense that they¡¯d been focused on other things the whole way. Even Fennel - Aster could tell he was a little shaken by Tune¡¯s close call, and he¡¯d been watching the water closely the entire way.

    What use was it to even be thinking about it? She shook her head, stepping out of the boat and leaving the oars with it. Fennel stepped out next, waiting to make sure Mira followed.

    The boat looked similar to those used by the Lanterns in the more commonly visited bodies of water in the Depths. It didn¡¯t have many clues as to how it got there, though. Maybe they¡¯d never know.

    They set off again, moving ever forward now that there was solid ground ahead of them again. It seemed like there was always something ahead of them, to demand more and more from them. That thought occurred to her as overwhelming, but she tried to remember that she¡¯d rather have it this way than have nothing in front of her. Nothing she needed to do, nothing she could do, or at least could pretend to do. At least overwhelm was more comfortable than emptiness, wasn¡¯t it?

    She glanced at Hyacinth, as if that could reveal more of the hollowness she sometimes glimpsed in him. He just smiled wearily at her. ¡°Well, we made it across. We¡¯re doing it. We¡¯re making the journey, one step at a time.¡±

    Aster put on a smile of her own, tried to put her real relief into it, even though it didn¡¯t stretch as far as she was pretending. ¡°We sure are. Take that, Depths. We¡¯re putting the ¡®star¡¯ in ¡®Starless Depths¡¯.¡±

    Hyacinth chuckled. ¡°Sounds like that¡¯d call for a name change.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, probably. It¡¯s a work in progress.¡±

    At first, Aster was convinced she was imagining it, but eventually she became sure that the ground was starting to slant gradually upwards. And the fog seemed to be thinning, bit by bit.

    How much hope should that give her? Was it worth the risk of that hope just to feel a little better in the moment? She¡¯d just had a stark example of the dangers of complacency, of feeling invincible... What role did ¡®rest¡¯ play?

    Should she train herself out of the need for it?

    The thought scared her. I¡¯m so tired.

    As if she was the only one. They all had to make sacrifices. Wouldn¡¯t that be a small sacrifice, on the grand scale of things?

    But if I break under the pressure, I won¡¯t be able to help them either. I can¡¯t be useful that way.

    So then she just had to be stronger, right? Be everything she knew she wasn¡¯t?

    Great plan, Aster. How very concrete.

    Aster squinted, raising her lantern to see something that¡¯d seemed strange upon first glance. She slowed down as she approached it, then stopped, seeing a streak of the strange translucence in the tunnel floor. She looked around, seeing traces of it on the walls and ceiling as well.

    The rest of the group slowed to a stop. Hyacinth took a few steps forward and Aster joined him in investigating. Tune joined them a moment later, hanging back away from their light.

    The translucence continued appearing in streaks ahead, becoming more and more widespread until it took over the entire tunnel. Some patches of it appeared perfectly clear, others translucent but strangely free of light or reflection.

    ¡°What in the world...?¡± Aster murmured.

    ¡°Apparently, yes.¡±

    She looked bemusedly at Tune.

    ¡°It is demonstrably in the world.¡±

    Aster shook her head, but chuckled softly.

    Tune poked at the translucent rock. ¡°¡®Tis nonetheless weird, though.¡±

    ¡°This seems... very concerning.¡± Aster crouched down beside the phenomenon and started hesitantly examining the translucent areas with her hands. It was like Tune had said before - it had a deep, pervasive coldness that compounded the longer she sank into it. She tested to see if it had any lasting effects the longer she left it, and it seemed to consistently recover each time, so she started testing different areas to see if there was a difference in depth to the intangible portions. There did seem to be some significant variance, not all of it easily apparent from sight.

    Aster pushed through the coldness, trying to see if she could feel out a path. Even if she could, could they trust it?

    Hyacinth stepped onto a portion of the translucent rock, his feet sinking unevenly into it. He watched it impassively, then took another few steps.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that... cold?¡±

    He shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s not bad. You get used to it.¡±

    He kept going, continuing steadily into the darkness ahead, slowly being consumed by it. He slipped toward a deeper area and took a few steps back, but kept going in a slightly different direction almost immediately.

    ¡°Hyacinth? Please be careful.¡±

    He nodded absently, sinking a little deeper in the next step he took.

    Aster stood up quickly and rushed along the path he¡¯d taken, grabbing his arm as she reached him. He seemed to hesitate, then finally turned his head to look at her. His expression was hard to read. ¡°What is it?¡± He didn¡¯t sound angry, or indignant, nor even particularly confused.

    ¡°Some of this is deeper than it looks. We don¡¯t know what we¡¯re dealing with here. I¡¯m worried about you getting farther and farther away, and not taking any precautions that I can see.¡±

    He put on a slight smile that didn¡¯t reach his eyes. ¡°Ah. Sorry to worry you. That¡¯s why I¡¯m going, to find out the information we need about it to get everyone through.¡±

    Aster furrowed her brows. ¡°There are safer ways to do that.¡±

    He looked at her for a moment. ¡°Right. Well, how long would that take? Being hesitant?¡±

    ¡°Time isn¡¯t the only cost to consider.¡±

    He met her eyes again, then bent down and rolled up his pant leg to show her his Mark of the Darkening. The Darkening had definitely progressed in the time they¡¯d been down there, discoloring his veins, though they couldn¡¯t really determine the pace by working backwards, as it tended to be somewhat inconsistent. ¡°I saw Mira looking at hers. It¡¯s worse.¡± He dropped the pant leg, letting it fall back into place. ¡°Time may not be the only cost to consider, but right now... it¡¯s valuable, and pressing.¡±

    Aster needed to find better words. Hyacinth kept talking before she could.

    ¡°I know you¡¯ll fight for them even if I don¡¯t. And you¡¯re determined to do more than I ever could, and even if you fail, you¡¯ll fail trying to do the right thing. If anyone ever can be what they need, it¡¯ll be you. I was never really going to go far enough to be much different from anyone else.¡± He drew in a breath, closing his eyes for a brief moment. ¡°And you don¡¯t need yet another person to fight for. I know how much of a burden it all is, constantly trying to fight the world itself, trying to save every single person that it seems to try so hard to tear away from you. I don¡¯t want to become another worry weighing on your mind. Maybe it¡¯d be kinder to both of us if you didn¡¯t spare that concern, for once.¡±

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    He looked away and paused, letting his words hang in the air for a moment. ¡°Aster,¡± he said, his voice trembling all of a sudden. ¡°I¡¯m so tired.¡±

    She stared at him, feeling the weight of those words sink in.

    Aster squeezed his arm slightly, then gently placed her hand on his shoulder, hoping to prompt him to look at her again. He hesitated, then looked at her, his eyes haunted by that exhaustion, the coldness that seeped ever deeper, the kind that didn¡¯t stem from the phenomenon they stood in.

    ¡°Hyacinth.¡± She looked deep into those eyes, trying to understand, knowing there was too much she didn¡¯t know and things she hadn¡¯t felt, but knowing they shared that exhaustion at least. ¡°You could never be more of a burden than the emptiness that would replace you.¡±

    That seemed to shock him a little bit, for a brief moment. He looked down, to the side, but seemed to take a moment to consider.

    There was a quiet moment that felt so painfully long to Aster.

    A tear silently traced Hyacinth¡¯s cheek. He seemed surprised to find it there, and wiped it away, then stared at his hand for a moment.

    ¡°...I hope you¡¯re right.¡± He let out a heavy breath. ¡°What if it¡¯s always this hard?¡±

    ¡°It hasn¡¯t always been this hard, has it? It always changes. Right? Bit by bit. It isn¡¯t always exactly as painful as it might be in other moments. It doesn¡¯t always press down just as heavily.¡± Aster let out a breath of her own, releasing his shoulder. ¡°There¡¯s no universal rule that says it has to always be this hard, so I will fight for that chance, those changes, however slim or scattered they become.¡± She tried to smile. ¡°It¡¯s what I like to believe I¡¯d choose. Beyond everything I can¡¯t do, everything I¡¯m not even though I need to be, I¡¯m not willing to let anyone slip through the cracks.¡±

    She hesitated. ¡°Not even myself. Even though that kind of feels... like it could be a relief, sometimes.¡± Aster took a breath. ¡°There¡¯s no reason to believe you¡¯re an exception to the value you place on everyone else.¡± Would that sound hollow coming from her, would it be clear that she didn¡¯t know how to really believe it for herself?

    Hyacinth gripped his own arm tightly. ¡°I¡¯m not always good at caring enough about them either.¡± He seemed to force himself to meet her eyes again, his voice getting quieter. ¡°I¡¯m not really the person I try to let people believe I am. Is it really not obvious how fragile that is?¡±

    Aster felt uncomfortably vulnerable all of a sudden, feeling like he must be able to see right through her. How much did he need to be able to trust in her facade? She hesitated. What if this is how I break it for him irreparably?

    ¡°Is it really not obvious how fragile my facade is?¡± She felt somehow detached from the words as she made herself let them go. ¡°How guilty I feel for letting anyone depend on me, as incompetent and unable as I am? How I¡¯m afraid that with all my hubris, I¡¯ll end up doing more harm than good?¡±

    He blinked at her a few times. He probably wasn¡¯t sure how to take that. ¡°You?¡±

    ¡°All I¡¯ve got is this inexplicable stubborn defiance and ignorant pretended optimism. I¡¯m just determined to see how far it can take me, because... well, someone¡¯s got to try. If we need all the help we can get, it may as well be me, right?¡± Aster offered one end of the rope they¡¯d used earlier with the fog and the water. A short moment later, she offered a smile too. ¡°We might be broken, we might not be everything we need to be, but we want to be everything we can. And that¡¯s so much closer to ideal than this world¡¯s cruelty can ever be, right? I want to at least see how far we can go.¡±

    ¡°What if I fail too quickly and drag someone else down with me? That¡¯d be so much worse than if I¡¯d failed alone.¡± He studied her expression, as if he could find the answers somewhere in it. Maybe trying to gauge her sincerity.

    ¡°But what if they pull you back to shore? What if they¡¯re just as determined to bring you back as you were for Tune?¡± Aster tied part of the rope to herself. ¡°Would you deprive them of that chance? What if it hurts them more to let you go than it would for them to help you?¡± She held out her hand with its length of rope.

    Hyacinth looked at it, and took in a slow, deep breath. He finally took the rope, to tie to himself as a tether to safety. He tied it and looked at her. He mustered up a small strained smile. ¡°Thank you, Aster. I hope you never regret this.¡±

    ¡°I promise you I won¡¯t,¡± she said firmly, ¡°even when it¡¯s difficult. I understand the potential costs enough to know which side I¡¯d rather err on.¡±

    He chuckled softly in disbelief and drew her into a brief embrace. She held onto him with the desperation she¡¯d felt in the last few moments, with the relief at his acceptance of her efforts, then let go with the trust that he would try to hold on to them and their willingness.

    Aster took a few paces backward to toss the rest of the rope to Tune. They caught it readily and sprung to their feet. ¡°Same as before, connect everyone together?¡±

    ¡°Yep, you got it.¡±

    ¡°Yep, you got it,¡± they said in return with a chuckle, turning to get the others attached.

    It didn¡¯t take long, and soon Aster and Hyacinth were leading the group through the strange half-hollow tunnel, passing back information about where to step. Hyacinth kept up a pace that still concerned Aster a bit, but she trusted in the implicit promise of tethering himself to them, even though she knew she couldn¡¯t see the thoughts running through his head. It didn¡¯t take long for Aster to no longer be able to feel her feet through the cold, but on further inspection it didn¡¯t seem dangerous, just numbing.

    Hyacinth slipped like he had many times before, but this time, without warning, he disappeared completely beneath the translucent rock. The rope went taut, yanking Aster forward. She scrambled to stay upright, tugged on the rope to try to help him even as she still struggled with her own footing. ¡°Hyacinth!¡±

    As she slid closer, not able to gain much traction on the strange rock, she could see him suspended in the emptiness below, unmoving. Why wasn¡¯t he moving? Couldn¡¯t he hear her? Was he breathing?

    She pushed off, towing herself backward, away from the inexplicable hollow, but all at once she lost her balance and found herself in the hollow, suspended just like he was.

    Even though the empty rock was translucent, inside of it she found her vision dimming. She blinked, but nothing she did cleared it; in fact, it just continued to dim. She couldn¡¯t breathe. The cold bit at her, seeping into every corner of her being. She couldn¡¯t hear anything beyond the rushing of her blood in her head, and even that grew quieter the longer she strained to listen.

    She moved her fingers, finding that she could. It was almost like being in strangely viscous water - she could move, but every movement was languid, reluctant.

    Aster reached out as her vision fled, catching hold of Hyacinth¡¯s arm. She held to it tightly, even as she lost feeling in the hand she gripped it with.

    With her other hand, even in its growing numbness, she tugged desperately at her rope, trying to pull herself up. Was this really how she wanted to spend her last futile moments? Would she rather claw at the boundless darkness, or drift away softly into it? Wouldn¡¯t that be more comfortable? A victory of sorts, to choose what she felt in her last moments?

    No. Something in her knew she didn¡¯t want that. She wanted to at least fight it, at least show her determination, grasp at any chance she could find to live. Even if it ended up being futile. Shout a last message into the uncaring void, if nothing else. Become a trace of something distinct from it, even if for just a fleeting moment.

    Hyacinth moved. She could barely feel it, but somehow he¡¯d finally found it in himself to turn around. She could feel his hand a moment later, tugging with her on her rope. Beyond the weight of everything else, he clearly did want to live, deep down.

    And in a timeless moment, abruptly she could breathe again.

    Aster gasped for air, trying to cough out a substance she didn¡¯t actually find anywhere inside her. She couldn¡¯t carry it with her, it seemed, but what was it?

    She turned her head to see Hyacinth collapsed near her, clinging to the rope, breathing deeply and desperately.

    She looked up next to see Fennel, Tune, and Mira arrayed in different positions to support pulling the rope. Mira had attached a stalagmite as a makeshift anchor to the end of the rope, which was attached to Fennel.

    ¡°I¡¯m... sorry, Aster,¡± Hyacinth gasped out. ¡°You were - dragged down with me - after all.¡±

    ¡°So?¡± Aster met his eyes. ¡°And they pulled us out. I accepted...¡± she had to take a breath. ¡°the risk. Just as you - gladly served as - an anchor for Tune.¡± She pushed herself to a sitting position. ¡°You¡¯re not an exception.¡±

    He laid his head back, taking a long, shaky breath as he tried to relax. ¡°...Okay.¡± He gripped the rope, his tether to the lucid world, holding it close as if he thought it might disappear. ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll try to... accept that.¡±

    Aster smiled warmly. It wasn¡¯t like that could solve everything, but it was nonetheless enough for that moment. ¡°Thank you.¡±