"I am joking of course. Dildo mannequins like me can''t time travel like that!?"
Hearing that word, Lu WoWood blushed a bit. Oatmeal, on the other hand, did not care if she used a bad word or not. To her, all words were the same, just like all beings - she found them all sexy and fun to interact with. Oatmeal''s hands reached for the table and lifted it in the air. She was carrying the table because she thought a meteor might be coming to this very street. Lu was shocked by Oatmeal''s act. She simply took the table, penetrated the bookstore''s walls, and started to move out. She knew the meteor would come. When walking on the street with the table, Oatmeal saw the crowd talking about her and her weird tallness and green bald head. She did not mind, as she was looking up at the red sky. There were clouds moving in the sky, and the sun was setting in the air. There were no signs that anything bad would happen. Lu WoWood came closer to her, thinking, "Now I am screwed. Now I am screwed. I will never be employed in this job anymore. I am dead broke from then on. But thanks to Oatmeal, I saw my boss in frustration. That was her favorite wall of her accomplishments. This alien''s moves made me feel good about myself, since I am not the only one who lost something!"
"What are you going to do with the table!?" Lu said, somehow with confidence. She was standing in a weird pose. "You should not do that!"
"Why not?" Oatmeal looked back at her over her shoulder.
"That''s uncivilized..."
"Do not worry, I am not civilized. I am Oatmeal, and besides, there will be a meteor hitting this very street, I must protect it because my laundry is still in that building." Oatmeal pointed at the building. That was the laundry building. "I do not want to lose my beloved clothing because they are the only belongings I have. I must protect them from the meteor. Also, I don''t want this meteor to kill people in front of me. I hate people die in front of me."
Lu and the crowd looked up, and then Lu spoke. "I don''t see any meteor. The sky looks as beautiful as it does every day."
Then the security people came.
Oatmeal smiled as the security people covered her. Her black lips were interesting to watch, Lu thought. Lu WoWood did not want to look at Oatmeal, but somehow that creature''s actions seemed cool and independent. Lu thought to herself, "She has the courage to act that way. I wish I were more like her. She is tough, and I-"
"Do not try to bend me like that, as they do in the movies," Oatmeal said, without a second thought. She was being bent over a police car, "I have watched some adult movies, you say porn, I think. Yes, in those movies, the cops would approach a woman like that. It depends on the genre, though, if you like the ''gay'' genre, which I sometimes do, then you can get along with the cop who is trying to bend me down like that. But I assure you, you can''t find what you are looking for down there, sir, eh."
"Stop pretending to speak like me," the security person who was holding Oatmeal tight said. "Tell us why you were carrying the table like that. Who ordered you to act like that?"
Oatmeal looked up at the sky. "To protect you guys and gals from the approaching meteor."
The crowd, Lu, and the security people looked up. There was a beautiful day with some clouds. That was all.
"I think a psychiatric ward would be appropriate for her. She must be mad, or have some sort of mental illness."
"Of course, I am mad, at you. Are you not valuing your lives?" Oatmeal said. "Let me go. Or I will just stop pretending to act civilized and help you in my own way. I don''t have the time to act civilized. The meteor will be coming."
Lu was looking around as the crowd dissipated. There were no meteors. Only... There were things floating in the air. Lu saw it. Eventually. It was some kind of bird, or just a... Meteor! What Lu saw was something like this: A giant spear-like thing falling down from the sky. There were two sharp heads, and it was just falling down so fast that Lu wondered how she had not even seen it before. She thought, "Oh, that, thing!"
As she was escaping from the ''Meteor'' or ''Spear'', she heard Oatmeal''s voice. She was still wrestling against the security people. "Lu WoWood! You have seen it, have you not? That''s the reason you have acted like a scared cat, who, as if, saw a mad dog in front of her. Let me assure you, no one sees the thing that you see now. If they were, they would pray to Jes'' Christ, the God they believed in, I suppose. I am sure that''s the Creator of yours, right? Anyway. If you see the meteor, do not run away."
"What are you talking about, Oatmeal!"
"I can''t tell you now. Do not worry. You are not the chosen one. You will die if you act stupidly, like running away from the two-headed spear meteor. I would help the street by simply wishing for it, but since I have promised myself to play fair and square, I have decided not to use my unlimited powers for a week. Even though I hate being civilized, I am trying to learn the culture of it. I have bought some documentaries from the Toronto Library and-"
If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.
"What are you mumbling about, man?" the security guard said as she was trying to put Oatmeal in the police car.
"People won''t understand anything until they die. Lu, you have to stop the meteor from coming at us! I can''t because I promised myself. I love my principles more than the lives of other people, so it is up to you to save the day." Oatmeal said and then continued thinking something like, "of course, I am lying, I would never let anyone be killed in front of me, I would screw my all principles to save, even a cat."
They put Oatmeal in the car and got in.
The giant meteor, a spear-like thing, was approaching faster and faster.
Lu WoWood thought to herself anxiously: "What should I do? Did I drink a hallucinogenic substance from the bookstore or something? What is happening!? Why shouldn''t I run away from the meteor? That''s the most logical thing to do. I can''t help people. I have to save myself, otherwise, no one will help my mother... Screw my mother. Please Lu, please, please, please. Please, for the first time, think about yourself! What do you want to do now!? I have decided this. I have just decided to run away for my life, and if that works out, find a boyfriend and have anal sex for a night. I hope it''s as interesting as the porn movies!"
So she decided to run away from the danger. Seeing that, Oatmeal shouted at her, punching the window of the car. The police officer got mad at her because, somehow, Oatmeal was uncuffed.
"How did you!?"
"I have just torn them apart. See, easy. We have a huge problem, officer. If you look up at the sky, there is a huge two-headed spear falling down. If I am not mistaken - and I always am when it comes to such calculations - the meteor will kill you, not me, you, in two minutes, because that chick, Lu WoWood, decided to run away and not use her powers, which I have given her. I mean, in comic books and mangas, the protagonist would simply decide to save the day, no matter how difficult it gets, right? Or, am I just reading the wrong type of books?"
"What are you talking about? There is no danger. Look, there is only sunshine and a beautiful red sky."
"I don''t want to see you turn into a bunch of dust, though," Oatmeal said.
"What did you say?" the security person from the driver seat said. "Besides, Marr, where are my keys? I can''t find my keys."
"I have taken them," Oatmeal said with a smile. She was sitting on the back seat with a large and assertive pose. "I have put the keys in here," she fondle her groin. There was a big bulge under her loose black thermal harem pants. "If you are determined enough to take the keys, you must not be afraid of the balls!"
"I will kill this annoying alien, or monster, or-"
"Me, Oatmeal."
Marr, the officer on the right seat, started to shoot at Oatmeal. Oatmeal looked at the approaching three bullets that were coming at her. She yawned as they were coming. She scratched her bald hands with her left hand, and with her other hand, she scratched her groin. The bullets were so slow that the officers were shocked by their speed. Oatmeal leaned towards the bullets. She was so tall that she almost fit in the car. Anyway, she leaned and saw the three bullets'' details. There were numbers in them, in order: 34, 78, 2222. Oatmeal started to think about them, "Those numbers... do they mean anything? Probably... otherwise, I would not even dare to look at them. Two days ago, I had decided to make my body follow the destiny no matter what happens." When Oatmeal looked at them from a specific perspective, she saw the meaning behind them. Her black dot eyes grew larger as she read the numbers'' real meanings! "Oh, no! Those numbers indicate that someone is in the laundry room and playing with my clothing now! I have to find her." The officers did not even understand anything as Oatmeal got up from the seat and simply left the car. "You can return to your normal speed friends when I leave the street in one hour. Do enjoy your slow flow!"
Oatmeal was walking on the streets, seeing the giant two-headed-spear thing above. She went to the laundry building, where she did not like the idea of not knowing people''s names, finding it frustrating to not know anything. So, she simply decided to know every being''s names from then on, and their genders too. She then said, "It is better for me to know the genders beforehand, since the two genders have the same feminine shapes, the only exception is the gender differences."
Oatmeal saw a blue-skinned person named Mavita, who was searching for something in Oatmeal''s clothing. Oatmeal saw her playing with her clothing and decided not to interfere, wanting to know what she would do with her own clothing. She burnt it! Mavita burnt the clothing in a snap of a second. Seeing that, Oatmeal went behind her, grabbed her by the neck, and hit her head against the wall. Mavita was dangling in the air, trying to escape from Oatmeal''s green, slender fingers. Mavita wanted to say something, so she made strange sounds. Mavita thought in desperation, "I have to escape from her hands, otherwise I am not safe! Oh, if only I could bend her fingers... No way... She is too strong. I would not want to share my cookies with her, at all. Please, let me have one more cookie before I die!"
Oatmeal simply stared at her with her black dot eyes and tried not to laugh at her. But she laughed nonetheless. "Sorry, I have heard your thoughts without intention and found it somehow funny. Even though it was funny, I respect your determination of wanting to eat one last cookie before you die. Do you like chocolate chip cookies, or simply plain cookies? Do not ask me. I can''t decide."
"How long have you been hearing my inner voices?" Mavita asked.
"I did not hear that much, though," Oatmeal replied.
"Then let me go. You are too strong."
"I am not. You are too sneaky. What were you doing with my clothing? You have burnt it in front of me."
"Why are you interested in it?" Mavita said, still in Oatmeal''s hands. She was holding Oatmeal''s wrist unintentionally.
"Because that clothing was mine, and you, somehow, have decided to burn it into pieces."
"That was only my orders. Please let me-"
"No. You can''t play being the victim. I am angry even though I don''t show it to you. There is a giant spear meteor thing falling from the sky, Lu WoWood simply vanished out of nowhere, and I have promised myself not to use my powers for a week, and I must stop the meteor from falling down from the sky. You will help me, or I will be the first drill surgeon for your butt."
Mavita did not like the idea of it.