Chapter 57


    Chapter Fifty–Seven – Pt# 1


    ‘I killed you,‘ I whispered in my head. ‘You did nothing wrong and I killed you.‘


    “Ahh...,” was the only sound that left me.


    I was fairly certain that telling him that information didn‘t exactly scream that he could trust me; a vital


    part of any possible rtionship to start. Would it be wrong of me to keep it a secret? It seemed like such


    an unnecessary gamble to ruin something that didn‘t need to be tarnished so quickly.


    “...Aria?” he prompted.


    “I‘m trying to remember,” I lied.


    I could see it now... his eyes changing to be wary, unsure of who I was. His death was just the start


    o fa list of names whose lives I had ended up iming. Would he see me as a murderer?


    | swallowed back my hesitance and cleared my throat. If I was willing to finally put the past behind me


    then there was no reason to ruin my future because of it.


    “No,” I eventually answered. “I… can‘t recall ever having met you. I was never runningte in the library


    that day since there was no reason for me to be so distracted. And because I wasn‘t runningte, I never


    identally collided with you in the hallway… therefore we never met to my knowledge.” 1


    It wasn‘t necessarily a lie. We technically had never met, it‘s just that I‘d managed to orchestrate his


    entire demise from thefort of my own home.


    “Ah, I see...,” he said in thought before smiling. “Man, your life really was tragic, aye?”


    Texhaled in relief disguised as augh. “I‘m sure your ego kept youpany adequately enough.”


    We continued to chat whilst we walked and I did my best to exin everything as best I could; though


    purposely remained vague in regards to any of my less pleasant actions or his death. I told him about my


    life from where it diverted; about the Goddess, Myra, my visions, and about Thea... or what I thought


    knew about Thea at least. 1


    “It all weirdly exins a lot of the things that used to confuse me about you…,” he said as we walked


    across the threshold of where he was staying.


    Both of us had instinctively walked back to his ce without needing to confirm where we wanted to go. I


    certainly didn‘t feel up to facing my parents right now.


    “...And why you were ming yourself about Myra,” he continued, closing the door behind us.


    A pit of guilt churned in my stomach. “I couldn‘t save her the second time. I don‘t know why I didn‘t see it


    i na vision like before.”


    “Hey, it‘s not your fault,” he said as he stepped closer, “You can‘t me yourself for not knowing... and


    you especially can‘t me yourself for some random power thing you‘ve don‘t have control over.”


    I sighed, closing my eyes a little in relier. It felt nice to hear those words from someone who knew the full


    picture. It made me feel like I wasn‘t alone. Here was someone who wasn‘t required by my birth to care


    for me, and they were telling me i wasn‘t to me. And I loved my father, don‘t get me wrong, but


    nothing he could‘ve said would have made me feel quite the same since Cai had no real obligation to


    me.


    After a few moments passed though, I became painfully aware that both of us were standing silently at


    his door, neither of us moving.


    “Okay,” I finally said, breaking the silence. “I should probably get some sleep since it‘s been a rough


    night. I sit okay if I crash on your couch––,”


    I didn‘t get to finish my request though because his lips were then suddenly on line, hungrily drinking me


    i


    ...And miraculously, I wasn‘t so tired anymore.


    I instantly dropped the dagger from my hand, letting it fall to the ground with a clunk, and reached up to


    grab his shoulders, pulling him towards me


    A low growl in approval sounded from his throat that did all kinds of inexplicable things to my insides, and


    he quickly hoisted me up against the wall, my legs wrapping around his waist as if they‘d always


    belonged there. His hands were gripped firmly around my thighs as he‘d positioned himself perfectly


    between them and I could feel his desire as he pressed himself against me.


    “Fuck, Aria,” he groaned as he kissed me along my neck. “Do you have any idea how crazy you make


    me? How long I‘ve wanted to do this?‘


    Thad every mind to reply but honestly, at that point, I wanted nothing more than for him to just continue


    touching me everywhere, to continue making me feel more of him against me.


    The only reply I managed in the end was more of a whimpering of his narne as my back arched inwards


    to meet his body. Something that was met with only more kissing and a grunt of his own.


    I felt his hand travel under the hem of my dress and try to work its way up but my clothes were too tight


    around the chest area, restricting any more ess.


    “Too many clothes,” he grumbled, feeling around my back until he touched the zipper.


    He didn‘t pull it down though, his hand pausing for a moment as if in thought, and instead he threw me


    over his shoulder in a fireman‘s carry, making it seem as though I weighed absolutely nothing


    Cai!” | Squealed in surprise, unable to stop my giggling. “Put me down! I can walk!”


    “No,” he replied as he began walking towards what was probably the bedroom. “You have a habit of


    storming away whenever I finally get to kiss you. This is just insurance.”


    I keptughing even though I did feel a little bad. But I couldn‘t help it. Something about being carried like


    this was too exciting to mull in guilt.


    He kicked the door wider so we could enter and immediately he ced me down on the bed. Everything


    around me in the room smelt like him and it was intoxicating, only driving my want for him higher. A part


    o í me even wondered what it would be like once I was shifted and became open to senses far more


    sensitive. We weren‘t destined mates, and I knew that there was nothing I could do about that, but even


    without a mate bond he always managed to have an effect on me.


    The best–case scenario with Cai would be to be chosen mates, something that wouldn‘t give me


    the artificial yet intense feelings of a destined mate, but it would be nice nheless. If it was between


    purely a fake emotional attachment induced by the Goddess‘ choice, and someone who genuinely cared


    about me but wouldn‘t give me destined mate sparks, I knew which I would choose.


    And then realised all this talk of mates was me getting a little ahead of myself. I hadn‘t even spoken to


    Cal yet about us.. about how it would even be possible for us to be together long–term... and worse, I


    hadn‘t even spoken to him about his questionable exclusivity.


    But there wasn‘t enough time to go into all of that yet.. for now, I would be happy with just one answer.


    Cai was on me, continuing to kiss me as his hand already started to unzip the back of my dress. His


    touch was a fire that made me want to forget all my worries, but I managed to clear my head enough to


    speak.


    “Cai,” I whispered.


    I cursed internally at myself though when i realised that it didn‘t even sound remotely like I was trying to


    get him to stop what he was doing.


    I cleared my throat. “Cai,” I repeated, trying again. “Hang on a second. I need to ask you something first


    before we do this.”


    He pulled back to look at me and it was almost like I‘d wrenched him out of a daze. My heart swelled a


    little at seeing him like that, seeing the effect I had on him, knowing that it was me that had done that. It


    was identical to how my mind became lost in the moment because of him.


    “Right now?” he asked, his breath heavy.


    ...It can wait,‘ I heard myself say in my head as I gazed at his perfect features.


    “... Yes,” I said reluctantly. “I need to know... I need to know what your rtionship with Iris is. Iris Sullivan


    from the Hidden Moon pack.”


    He stared at me in disbelief almost as if he couldn‘t believe I was asking this now of all times.


    “... Did you ever sleep with Iris?”


    Iris was incredibly beautiful, even I could tell. If there was someone who would be a good match for Cai, I


    could see how someone like Iris would be a perfect fit. She was of Alpha blood too, attractive, smart,


    funny... kind even to strangers. Clearly, she was into Cai since she‘d called him her ‘hot date‘. If they


    were or had been together though, then it meant that the words Cai had told me the night of Aleric‘s


    coming of age might not have beenpletely genuine.


    “No, Aria...,” he said slowly, almost mildly annoyed. “I did not sleep with Iris or have any sort of intimate


    rtionship with her.”


    Relief flooded through me and instantly I felt so much better, more assured. But I still needed more


    answers.


    “So when she called you her ‘hot date‘... what was going on?” I pressed further.


    He sighed, sitting up and rubbed at his face.


    “Nothing. Nothing was going on,” he said. “Tris and I are friends, she was probably joking. I stayed with


    her pack briefly whilst I was travelling and got to know her. Things were good, we got along great, we still


    do, but I ended up leaving after only a month or so. Her father propositioned me to take Iris as a chosen


    mate in the event neither of us found our destined ones. Given our families lineage and the affiliation it


    could create, it seemed like a good deal for both our packs. Iris even came to me and confessed she


    was attracted to me.”


    Oh. That didn‘t sound like nothing but I could see how the proposal would have been extremely


    beneficial to both parties. They really would be a good pair from what I could tell.


    “...And what did you say?” I asked hesitantly, now unsure if I even wanted to know about this anymore.


    “No!” he said as if it was obvious. “Of course I said no, you dork. I‘d much rather be with this one very


    stubborn, very annoying olddy who always makes me constantly question my sanity... I want to be with


    you, Aria, and I meant that.”


    I felt a warm happiness rush inside me and I wanted to give in to it immediately... but I knew that, as nice


    as being with Cai was, the reality was that it was most likely temporary.


    I realised that in an ideal world, being his chosen mate would be the best–case scenario...however, this


    wasn‘t an ideal world. Our rtionship would possibly ignite a war, something that I‘d been trying to push


    out of my mind to just enjoy the euphoric moment of being with him thest hour or so.


    ...And then, of course, there was whether he‘d meet his destined mate. Something I would be helpless to


    stand in the way of once he experienced it. I knew how good it felt to feel the mate bond of someone


    Chapter Fifty Seven – Pt#1


    destined for you, how easy it would be to forget everything else; anyone else.


    As someone who had already experienced it once, I was far better prepared to deal with it and see it for


    what it truly was; an unwilling decision decreed by a deity that, ording to Selene herself, wasn‘t able


    to be changed. However, I couldn‘t say the same for how Cai would react. The first time would be...


    intense.


    A thought came to me then... something whispering a reminder I‘d forgotten. Cai didn‘t have a mate,


    Luna, or child prior to his death. A death at the age of twenty–one... three years from now.


    This meant I had at least three years to confidently be with Cai before the risk of him finding his destined


    mate became higher. A risk I‘d have to be willing to ept and step back from, no matter how much it


    might hurt me. Was he worth that gamble?


    Chapter Filly–Seven–Pt# 2


    Chapter Fifty–Seven – Pt#2 “Aria?” Cai asked, pulling me from my thoughts.


    He gently reached out and poked a finger between my brows, making me realise I was frowning.


    “You‘ve got that look on your face,” he said. “The one that usually tells me you‘re overthinking


    something... Should I be locking the bedroom door to prevent your escape?”


    Instantly I rxed, smiling a bit at his joke. I hadn‘t realised he‘d learnt my expressions so well.


    “I‘m sorry,” I said, as I stared into his pure golden eyes that had always made me want to melt. “...I‘m not


    going anywhere, I promise. I... I want to be with you too, Cai.”


    ‘Even if it‘s just temporary,‘ I finished in my head.


    Cai had been there at the beginning of my return, witnessing my worst moments and helping me even


    when my ns were insane or not his concern. He‘d been there for me when I‘d cried and broken down,


    unsure of who I was or who I could lean on. And it was true he‘d ended up hurting me, but I‘d hurt him


    too. Yet somehow, he‘d realised sooner than me that we were undeniably drawn to each other. It was just


    me who refused to acknowledge it.


    Being with him was probably still a terrible idea, I knew that, but even if it was temporary, wasn‘t it better


    than nothing? Being around him made me feel safe,fortable, and... wanted. Things I‘d never felt in


    my past. Was it so wrong of me to desire that for myself, even if it could end disastrously?


    He didn‘t waste any more time though as his lips were then on me again, and goddamn did he know how


    t o kiss. I felt like I was going to burn everywhere he touched me; along my thighs, around my waist, up


    my back. He‘d managed to unzip my dress already and so it was then just a matter of sliding my arms


    out as he pulled it up over my head. And suddenly I was before him in only my underwear... that I


    couldn‘t help but look away, embarrassed.


    He must have guessed my thoughts exactly though as he grabbed at my arms before I couldpletely


    cover my torso with them.


    “Hey, don‘t do that,” he said gently. “You‘re so beautiful.”


    Had anyone ever called me that before? I couldn‘t ever recall. I knew I wasn‘t unattractive but I‘d never


    seen myself as anything overly special. How could I given my history? I‘d tried to make myself prettier in


    the past to impress Aleric and it had only made me look unhealthy with a sickly thin figure and dark


    circles under my eyes.


    He nted a small kiss on my wrist and delicately made his way up along my arm, making a trail of


    pecks as he went. And when he finally reached my shoulder, I shivered under his touch. Everything he


    did was driving me crazy, especially as he then began lightly tracing the outlines of my body; starting with


    my chest, around my bra, and moving lower to around my stomach, dangerously close to the hem of my


    underwear. All the while leaving a path of goosebumps wherever his fingers touched.


    He stared down at me while he teased me, looking just about ready to devour me at any second, but


    instead he restrained himself, wanting to make the momentst as long as he could. I could barely take it


    any longer though as a little whimper escaped me involuntarily.


    I sat up impatiently so our eyes were level and kissed him deeply, grabbing the hem of his shirt in one


    hand. However, instead of letting me lift it off, he sped my wrist gently and kissed it, leading me to lie


    back down again. I would have found it odd but my mind became quickly upied again.


    “Have you ever done this before?” he suddenly asked,


    “Not in this life,” I answered before I paused in thought, considering his question further. “...And never


    with someone who cared about me.”


    He kissed me passionately, as if he know exactly what I was saying and was trying to make up for my


    past. Already I had felt more in thesest few minutes than any prior experience and I didn‘t want to


    stop.


    He gripped my arm above my head whilst his other hond started to venture lower... and lower.. and


    lower... untill gasped out, squirming under him.


    Thadn‘t realised how sensitive I was there until now, hor had I realised just how amazing this could feel.


    H e kissed me gently around my neck... my chest.. my stomach, all the while his fingers continued to


    build a


    sure up inside me, unlike anything I‘d felt before. It was making me dizzy, exhrated, and I wanted more


    of it.


    IM


    Suddenly his lips brushed against my bra, biting softly against the thin fabric there, and it sent an electric


    shock through me thatpletely made mee undone, arching my back upwards into the sensation


    that rode through me.


    Iid under him afterwards,pletely out of breath as I let the intense waves of pleasure continue to


    wash over me.


    “...Your face was so cute,” he said. His words were light but his voice sounded thick. “I wish I could have


    taken a picture.”


    Topened my eyes to meet Cai‘s, a mixture of lust and entertainment in his as he watched me, and my


    lips twitched at the side into a smile.


    “...Only if you have a death wish,” I answered.


    He smirked yfully as if I were actually challenging him, “That might be worth it.”


    I sighed jokingly, rolling my eyes, and slowly picked myself up until I was kneeling in front of him at


    almost eye level. He was stunning to look at, by far one of the most attractive people I had ever met, and


    yet somehow he was interested in me. That fact wasn‘t lost on me and my desire to see him, all of him,


    was steadily increasing.


    I went to grab his shirt hem again however, just like before, he stopped me, trying to distract me instead


    with more kisses.


    “...Show me,” I said softly, giving him pause. “I know you‘re not shy of your body since I‘ve seen your


    bare back in that ssroom years ago. So this is something you‘re not wanting me to see. Me,


    personally.”


    He looked unsure, hesitating for several moments before finally closing his eyes in eptance. And,


    slowly, he lifted his shirt off.


    As I caught the first glimpse of his body, there was a moment where I felt I forgot how to breathe. He was


    gorgeous, perfectly muscled in all the right ways, and I gently reached a hand out to feel his warm skin


    under my fingertips. But as my eyes trailed down, I finally saw what he was hiding and froze.


    There, on his lower abdomen, were the scars of ragged w marks. Scars I knew he‘d acquired from


    when we‘d saved Myra‘s life.


    “I didn‘t want you to be reminded of that right now,” he said quietly. “You looked... happy. Something i


    was starting to worry about.”


    I swallowed at the lump in my throat which had formed, my mind beginning to race over the memories of


    her. I missed her so much.


    ...But she was gone and I‘d already made my peace. Myra wouldn‘t want me to shy away on her


    ount.


    Ilighily traced over the scars with my fingertip, following the jagged lines carefully, before slowly bringing


    pier l‘uty Seven – PI: 2


    my face in closer to kiss it. Underneath my touch, I felt him shiver.


    “It‘s okay,” I said, straightening back up to meet his gaze. “It‘s a permanent reminder of her as it should


    be. She‘s a part of you now. She‘s a part of both of us.”


    I reached up and brought his lips down to meet mine, pressing my body against him. His skin on mine fel


    amazing, a warmth encircling my whole body as his arms wrapped around me.


    Impatiently, I quickly removed my remaining underwear, no longer wanting anything else between us,


    and hungrily, I watched over him as he did the same. There was a moment once it was done that we


    paused i o stare at each other, both of us needing a second to take in the other person during silent


    appreciation.


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    After several seconds had passed though, he finallyid me down, hovering himself over me, and I softly


    bit my lower lip.


    “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, giving me onest chance to back out.


    I knew there was more meaning to his question than just seeing if I was stillfortable. There was a


    werewolf stigma around destined mates and the virginity of the woman involved; an archaic view that


    should have been abolished a long time ago. By giving myself to Cai, it was basically going against that


    ridiculous ideology since we both knew I had a mate. But I wasn‘t one for old traditions or values


    anymore. If someone didn‘t want me due to a reason like that, then they weren‘t worth my time


    I swallowed nervously and nodded my head.


    He kissed my forehead as he proceeded to press himself in, and I cried out in a mixture of pain and


    pleasure. I heard him groan in unison with me, sending more excited tingles throughout as I clung to his


    shoulders. 1


    Given this was my body‘s first time, I knew that this mild pain was to be expected but the sensations


    were overwhelming nheless,


    He waited patiently for me though, allowing me a chance to adapt and rx against him, before finally


    proceeding. Whatever pain had been there luckily diminished quickly and it was immediately overtaken


    by something far better.


    I felt full andpletely absorbed against his body as he moved, each thrust stealing a moan from my


    lips. I wasn‘t alone though as Cai‘s own grunts were close behind, filling my ears and narrating my


    thoughts. My mind was devoted, there was only him now, only the way he was able to consume my


    entire being.


    That same pressure from before was beginning to build itself inside me again, rapidly increasing in line


    with his quickening movements. I desperately wanted to feel those waves of pleasure once more, that


    intense relief I knew was waiting for me on the other side.


    Everything then suddenly became fervid as my moans became cries. It was a crescendo of heated


    energy that was close to boiling. Harder and faster, his hands touching and grabbing me at every


    sensitive area, i t was an extremity of sensations I didn‘t know possible.


    “Aria,” he groaned out one final time.


    It was enough to send mepletely over the edge as I came undone against him, that same electricity


    sparking throughout my body to leave me buzzing. He wasn‘t far behind though as he shared in his own


    release, the two of us left panting andpletely exhausted.


    Iid in his arms when it was over, nestled up against his body as neither of us wanted to move. There


    was nowhere else I‘d rather be than right there.


    And it became abundantly clear to me that, o