Again, everything went dark. Empty. Alone. But this time, I was sure it wasn’t a dream. Because I could still feel the pain. My whole body hurt, like it was breaking apart. Especially my head and chest. It couldn’t be a dream, right? Too real. Too painful.


    Slowly, I began to hear voices. At first, they were unclear—my ears were ringing. But as the moments passed, the sound grew clearer. It was like a group of people talking. Still, I couldn’t be sure. After so many strange events, the only voice I’d heard outside my nightmares was Poma’s. And the rest? Just creatures from my dreams.


    This made me wonder again. Is this real, or am I still dreaming? But pain was getting worse. Then I felt like I was leaking. Blood. Coming out. I was bleeding. I felt wet. The smell of blood. My consciousness was also... gone.


    ....


    I started to regain consciousness, but I couldn’t open my eyes. My body felt petrified—frozen, stiff, and weak. Like a Tesla running out of battery. Useless. At the same time, I could feel someone touching my skin. I wasn’t dead, right? But for some reason, my eyes wouldn’t open, and my ears couldn’t hear anything. Just darkness. And weakness. My body was completely helpless.


    Then came a sharp pain in my head. It felt like a knife was stabbing me, cutting into my brain, pulling everything out. The pain was unbearable. I’d never felt anything like it before. It felt like my head might fall off.


    ‘Help me,’ I tried to scream, but my mouth wouldn’t move.


    Followed by almost the same pain but all over my body. It felt like being stabbed by a thousand knives. Just one would have been enough to kill me. But there were thousands of them. Killing me hundreds of times. Over and over again.


    ‘Just kill me.’ I willed, my mind screaming what my body couldn''t express.


    In the midst of that hellish torture feeling, I could hear a whisper. Very soft. Very distant.


    “Are you okay?”


    It was a woman''s voice. Similar to... Poma''s voice?


    Even though I recognized it, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t reply. My mouth wouldn’t move. My eyes wouldn’t open. I was scared. The pain was unbearable. Please, make it stop. I can’t take it anymore.


    “Calm down. I will help you.”


    Please… help me. Don’t leave me. This pain… it’s killing me. Make it stop. Please… I’m dying. Don’t leave me alone. Again.


    “Calm yourself. And your emotions. Trust me. You are not alone.”


    Lies… I’m falling deeper. Into this darkness. Deeper and deeper. The pain is slowly fading. So are my senses. Is this what death feels like? True emptiness? Where life is lost. My life. At least it doesn''t hurt anymore. Let me sleep again. Don''t wake me up again.


    ...


    Lost... I don''t feel it... My life... My poor life... My terrible life...


    Pain... Anxiety... Disappointment... Fear... Gone...


    Am I finally free? Really free? Freed from everything?


    "How do you feel? Does death set you free?"


    I don''t know... I''m just free... At last...


    “It''s just an illusion you created. Freedom is not running away.”


    What''s wrong? What do you know about me?


    “Know Thyself. Then the truth will be seen.”


    What truth? What''s there to see?


    “For you to know the difference between dreams and reality.”


    Dream? Reality? Didn''t I die? Leave me alone… I just want to die...


    “I loved you but you never loved me. Now you want to leave me?”


    Who are you? Do I know you?


    “I hurt when you hurt. I bleed when you bleed. I will die when you die.”


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    I don''t know you. Who are you? What are you?


    “I''m not going anywhere. I''m always here. You have to find out. Who I am. Who we really are.”


    I don''t understand. Don''t give me a riddle. Tell me the truth.


    “My time is up. The truth will never go away. It will never change. You have to find it yourself.”


    Don''t leave... Tell me... The truth...


    Why didn''t I know it? Why can''t I see it?


    Something... Pulled me... Forcing me...


    Light appears... My ears are ringing... My body... Returned...


    Sensation. Warmth. Touch. Sound. Stimulates me.


    Am I awake? Really awake? Or is this another lie?


    I could slowly open my eyes. Along with a familiar looking place. With a familiar figure.


    “Can you hear me?”


    It was Poma''s voice. Soft. And familiar.


    “Can you see me?”


    Her face. Beautiful. Fragrant. I remember her.


    “You''ll be fine. I''ll help you.”


    I just want to sleep. It hurts. My body hurts.


    What’s happening? Bright light flooded my vision, accompanied by a distant song. Life seemed to flow back into me. Fragile and fleeting. Filling the emptiness. Weakness overtook me as sensation returned to my limbs. Reality began seeping in, knocking at the edges of my consciousness. Pulling me awake, forcing me back to my senses.


    “Poma is that you?” I asked in a husky voice.


    A female figure hovered above me. It had to be Poma. My eyes were still blurry, but I was certain it was her. Yet, something felt off. Next to Poma, another figure lingered in the corner of the room. A woman with long hair. Who was she? And, where was I?


    “Your body is injured. In addition, there are indications of corruption. You nearly lost your mind.” Poma replied. I feel like she''s worried and maybe angry at the same time? After all, I was the one who made this happen. My stupidity.


    “What is corruption? Is it bad?” I asked. Because I don''t think this is related to corruption in the sense of money or morals, right?


    “It means an imbalance in your soul. If not stopped, you will slowly lose your rationality.” Poma replied.


    Huh? Rationality? It feels like I''m slowly losing it. Or rather. The sense of closeness to reality. I feel more and more detached. Even my rationality seems to be slowly eroding? This explains a lot of things.


    “You seem to realize something? Is it that dream again? That nightmare came up again?” Poma asked again.


    I can''t explain it. But it''s better to say it because Poma might have a way out.


    “I don''t know. Was it a dream? Is it my past? Is it myself? I don''t know what I saw.” I replied trying to explain it.


    Because I don''t understand. And never want to understand it. Maybe this is the real problem. I have to slowly figure this out. If not, maybe this will continue to haunt me. Maybe even... devour me.


    “Since you decided not to take the path of the chosen one. Then I suggest from now on to start keeping your thoughts in check. Don''t let negative thoughts get the best of you.” Poma replied. She seemed pretty serious with her words.


    I had no choice but to accept her suggestion. Although I feel that I should find out for myself what the source of this problem is. I worried that my life would never be at peace without it.


    “Okay, I got it.” I replied.


    For a while. I just lay there, resting. As my mind cleared. I began to recognize the place I was in. This was the temple in the middle of the ruins and the place where Poma resided. I don''t know how I suddenly found myself here. Did someone bring me here? Or did Enyeka bring me here?


    Poma later told me what happened. It turned out that it was true that I had fallen into the cliff. But that cliff should be very far away from this place. That felt strange, I didn’t feel like I’d wandered that far. Luckily, some people coming to the temple for offerings saw me fall and brought me back. A miracle? Or maybe this is my plot armor? Whatever it was, I was alive now. But… I wasn’t sure if I should feel lucky or unlucky.


    It also explains there was another figure in this room before. A woman. But she seemed to have left in the middle of my conversation with Poma before. Then Poma told me those people didn’t mind helping me and took me to their village near the forest. However, she said I needed to rest for a few days before leaving. They were fine with waiting and would spend the time foraging nearby.


    I spent the rest of the day feeling pain all over my body. I reflected on everything I’d experienced so far. Didn’t Socrates say that an examined life is one of constant self-reflection? Maybe I could start noticing things I’d missed until now.


    Like, what is a dream? What is a nightmare? How do they connect to reality? Can dreams and reality influence each other? From my experience so far, the answer seems to be yes—but only to a certain extent. There’s still so much I don’t understand. My choice to avoid mystical knowledge doesn’t help either. Without knowing the secrets behind it, truly understanding what’s happening to me feels almost impossible.


    At least thanks to Poma, I am alive today. It seems like it took a lot out of her. Her expression is different, and the mystical aura she usually carries feels weaker now. I owe her so much. She keeps helping me without asking for anything in return. Something about this feels strange, but I can’t figure out why.


    Why would Poma go to this extent for me? What was the reason? Is it because of my status as a chosen one? But she didn''t force me and even gave me choices and helped me adjust in this world.


    What I know now is that I need to control my thoughts. Poma was right. Next time, even if I’m bored, I have to hold back. I can’t let negative thoughts take over. Poma didn’t explain much, but I think I understand. She said the nightmares might come from me—from my own mind.


    But what can a depressed person like me do? Pretend I’m happy because I’m living some kind of isekai fantasy? Become the main character? Fix my terrible fate? No way. I can’t pretend anymore. But I can’t accept this reality either. This situation is harder than I ever imagined.


    I want to go back…


    At least there, I didn’t have to worry about being devoured by my own nightmares or facing unknown horrors in this Lovecraftian world. My life has become my own monster. That''s more than enough. I don''t need something like Cthulhu or Nyarlathotep to top it off.


    Yeah… I want to go home. I’m scared… I’m alone… I might die…


    Someone, please wake me up from this nightmare. I just want to go home. A safe place. A comfortable place. Not a dreadful place. Not a frightening place.