I stormed out of the cave alone and went back to the small room I shared with my friend. I was so angry. My fists were bloody from hitting the wall when I finally stopped that. Instead I sat on the bed and looked at Jonathan’s picture. For the first time in a very long time I allowed the anger and frustration out. Time had no meaning as I railed against the unfairness of it all.


    I was as good as dead to my Earth family and I’d never see them again. My daughters were grown and gone. I was unable to raise my precious boy. The men I thought I had loved, I’d been tricked into caring for. Nothing seemed real anymore. On this world and in this life I had absolutely nothing.


    It became a cycle. I’d sob for a while watching Jonathan’s picture and then scream into my pillow until I was hoarse. Rose appeared at some point, but I ignored her until she left. I just continued with my raving until I was too weak to do anything save stare at my young son’s face.


    “Mama,” Kennedy said softly, e out and talk to us.”


    “No,” I rasped not taking my eyes off Jonathan’s image.


    “It’s time, Mama,” Kennedy said softly. “Come out and talk to us. You’ve held this in for too long.”


    Much against my wishes I dragged myself into the sitting area around the fire. Kennedy and her Sisters had arranged themselves and sat cross legged on the floor. They were there for the long haul, so to speak.


    Kennedy and her Sisters were wise beyond their years. They said they’d been waiting, very patiently, for me to be angry. I had a right to be mad, they told me, Rose had the same right. We’d held our feelings inside and denied them long enough. The loving rtionships we had with our families were based in a very dark ce. We had to ept the whole truth and we’d never done that.


    I talked to the girls all day. Rose came back and after some prodding, she did the same things I’d done that morning. We both slowly came to terms with the way we felt and it made no sense.


    My body felt horrible and raw. My mind was in turmoil and I wanted two very different things. I wanted Damien and his Brothers tofort me. At the same time I wanted to hurt them as badly as I could. If I could have I would have beaten them all to a bloody pulp and felt vindicated doing it. It was very confusing.


    I did not like discussing this with Kennedy one bit, but she seemed not bothered by my ambivalence about her father. She knew me at my most intimate level and I suppose the questions had always been there. Evidently she’de to terms with it long ago.


    The next day I went to work with Armant and I helped in the fields, but I didn’t meet Damien and his Brothers in the morning. For days I thought about how I felt and it never got any clearer. I had a choice now, I realized. Damien and his Brothers weren’t the only men on this.


    I sought out men that looked attractive to me. At night I had dinner with different families and even flirted with some. We’d go back to their rooms and talk a little. I just couldn’t find a connection with any of them. It just felt like friendship.This is from N?velDrama.Org.


    Thinking about my own sexual needs started to make me frustrated. I wanted relief, but I was having trouble finding men to provide it. In the middle of the night I’d find myself curled in a chair as Rose slept in the bed. It was hard to sleep when I was this horny.


    My memories were filled with arousing images. As angry as I was at Damien and his Brothers, they were magnificent looking men. Inadvertently I began to remember times I’d seen them wet with sweat and seeking release between my thighs. I tried to imagine other men and always ended up focusing back on the bodies I knew so well.


    Evan’s chest as it tapered down to his t stomach and long, thick cock. Damien’s powerful arms with his hands gliding possessively over my skin. Kein’s mouth nearly making me orgasm as he nibbled at my sensitive nipples.


    As I sat by the fire I felt Christof’s long fingers gliding up my thighs. I recalled the first time he’d experimented with using his mouth on my center. The tentative strokes of his tongue had grown bolder as he’d seen my passion rise. He could own the wetness between my legs when he wanted to.


    Last but not least was Bane. He had an insatiable fascination with the tight puckered flesh of my ass. How many times had I looked back to see his massive form poised, ready to impale me? Big hands separating my flesh as his chest heaved with the effort of holding back. It always hurt a little when he started, but my resistance always faded as he slowly stretched me.


    The sturdy linen dress I wore at night became too much on my sensitive skin. ncing furtively back at Rose’s form sleeping in our bed, I slipped the offending fabric off.


    There were times I’d masturbated for Damien and his Brothers. It was not something I did because I wanted to. This had been like everything else sexual, their choice to see me do it. There was just me here right now, though.


    Now as I sat I stroked the round, fullness of my breasts. My nipples stiffened in the air and I pinched them hard. The slight pain felt good and I did it again. Biting back a moan, I remembered thesh Damien had wielded. I imagined the stinging little ps warming the pendulous flesh. There was no fear of abuse anymore and I only recalled the pleasure.


    My hands drifted lower and I spread my legs. The flesh of my stomach felt soft and feminine under my fingertips. I reached the tops of my thighs and slowly traced down to my knees. As I dragged my fingers back up goosebumps spread up my body.


    It had been so long since I had done this. There was no one here except me and I was doing it for me. I wanted to orgasm, because it would feel good, not as a show for anyone else. My breath rushed out as my fingers slid over my plump lower lips.