It was well into the night when Ella wandered into her room. She wasn''t surprised to find her mother sitting on the armchair by the bed, her stern expression lit by the almost nonexistent candles left on her night table and vanity.
Ella spared her a glance and headed to her vanity table. Wordlessly, she smoothed her skirts and sat, meticulously taking down the handfuls of pins and combs holding up her hair. Grim, Minna stood and walked over to her.
Observing their reflections in the mirror, it was easy to see why out of all her children, Ella was the one that most resembled her mother.
The differences were there, particularly in Minna''s flaming crimson hair and green eyes, compared to Ella''s own pale curls and features, but other than colouring, they were strikingly similar. The same small frame, the heart-shaped face, the upturned nose, the long-lashed doe eyes.
It was arresting beauty, the type of beauty that Ella had learned to resent and to exploit at the same time. In Minna, it was charming, coupled with her grace and lovely softness. In Ella, it was almost harsh.
Often, it was said that Ella was much too cold and her features too sharp for her beauty to be properly appreciated. She had a certain severity that made her difficult to look at sometimes; made it difficult to hold her gaze.
She had elegance and beauty, but she lacked her mother''s warmth. The high arch of her brows made her look petulant; the upturned tilt of her nose came off as arrogant; her lips, despite being soft and full, looked cruel when she smiled. There was something slightly unsettling about her, and no amount of etiquette lessons and ingrained aristocratic manners could paint over that.
"Come here to chide me? You''re a bit late, Harrion took care of it already," she said, meeting her gaze in the mirror. "Whatever you have to say will pale in comparison to his speech, spare yourself the trouble."
"You''re upset," she said, like stating a fact. "There''s no need to be rude." Ella''s stomach churned with guilt, because she was right, as always. She was angry and lashed out, childishly.
"I didn''t come to chide you for the spectacle," she said, pressing her hands together. "I don''t care for that, Elowen." Her green gaze searched for Ella''s in the reflection of the mirror, trouble flickering in them. "Harrion had an incident. Do you have any idea how that might have happened?"
Her tone was not accusing, but Ella whirled around abruptly, baring her teeth just the same. "Did I have anything to do with that? Is that what you''re asking? He shook the life out of me and made sure to call me every name under the sun and you''re here asking for his well being?"
Minna''s face plummeted, as it did every time Ella was punished. Minna was impotent to help, Ella was all too aware that her mother wasn''t exempt from Harrion''s wrath either.
She still hated to look of pity.
Minna surged forward, "Oh, sweetheart. I''ll bring the poultice and bandages, we''ll get you cleaned up--"
"He didn''t get around to beating me with his belt," Ella cut her off. The flinch her mother made had her stomach twisting uncomfortably. "I had nothing to do with it, he only suddenly stopped trying to beat me and I left. Perhaps he''s finally succumbing to an ailment, I only hope it''s serious."
Minna''s eyes flashed with something she couldn''t recognize. It was a look she''d only seen a couple of times in her life, a strange sort of fear. "This is serious, it''s not a joking matter, Elowen. I need you to understand--"
"Yes, I insulted Jonas and Cordelia. Yes, I''ve made the family lose face and tarnished our good name," she said, fisting her skirts. "Don''t worry, Jonas will still marry me, no matter how horrid I am. I haven''t ruined that. I''ll be out of here soon enough."
"You don''t understand." Minna''s features had taken an urgent quality. "There are larger matters at stake here, Elowen."
She looked more troubled and agitated than Ella had ever seen her, but Ella was too far gone to care. Desperation bubbled to the surface, clawing up her throat.
"Yes, the family honour. That''s what''s at stake, isn''t it?" she said, "I suppose I should be grateful to be wrapped in silk and roses and sold off to a cruel Lord that I hate. I should be happy to hang on to his arm and look sweet and meek. What an honour, to bear his golden-haired heirs until I die," Ella said, suffocating on bitterness. The hairpins were stabbing into her palms, but she didn''t even care.
"I have nothing," she said with shaking fists. "I have no friends, I have no one. I''m not even allowed to walk outside. All I do is sit here and practice stupid little speeches, knit and tolerate everyone, even when they humiliate me. I''m expected to shut my mouth and take it."
I''m tired," she choked on the words. "I''m exhausted and suffocating." She was trembling and raw, but she held onto the rage. Rage was good. If she let go of the rage, she''d crumple up and sob and never get up.
Minna''s face contorted as tears welled up in her eyes. "Do you think that''s what I want for my daughter?" Her voice was barely a whisper. "Do you think that''s what I wanted for myself? I would love nothing more than for you to be free, I have tried my best all these years to give you the most liberty you could have. Do you think I don''t know that you sneak off into the village? About your secret meetings with Cedric or the sword training?"
Ella reared, bracing her hand on the edge of the vanity. It wasn''t often that something startled her into silence, but she was at loss for words now.
"I have done everything so you could have freedom, even a morsel. It was never a coincidence that the guards weren''t watching the doors when you escaped or that no one found out. I don''t care for any of that," she said, shaking her head. "I wish you could be free, I wished the same for myself long ago as well. I don''t care for family honour or anything you think I might. There are far more important matters at stake, things I need to explain to you."
"Explain to me then," Ella said. "Tell me why you married Harrion. Tell me why you need me to leave this house even if it means following the same path you did. Tell me what''s so important." She pinched the inside of her arm, to keep the knot in her throat from evolving into a miserable sort of meltdown.
"I can''t," she rasped. "Not yet." She gripped Ella''s hand. Her hands were soft and warm. Comforting. "But you must understand, you aren''t safe here anymore, Elowen."
"Then leave. I want to be alone. I thought that you''d trust me enough to tell me." She was being childish and knew as much. Though she understood her mother was saying something important, she simply didn''t have the capacity to be rational.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
"Win, sweetheart, please." Minna brought her other hand up and smoothed down her crumpled curls, a gesture that always made Ella calm down. She looked at her as if she was a wounded animal that might need to be put down. Ella coiled into herself.
"I want to be alone. I''m tired and I don''t want to talk about this," she said finally. It was an oversimplified statement that didn''t cover even half of what she was feeling.
Minna soothed a hand over her temple one last time before dropping her hand with a small, sad smile. "I love you, more than anything. You may not understand why I do the things I do, but it''s all for you. It always has been."
Ella watched her walk out of the room and covered her face with her hands, feeling a horrible, gaping hole in her chest. She wanted to call out, to have her mother fold her into her arms, kiss her temple and reassure her while Ella latched onto her, perhaps bring her a cup of milky tea with lots of honey, like she always did.
Of course, Ella couldn''t bring herself to ask for this.
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She''d been tossing and turning in bed for what felt like hours, not managing to even drift off. The buzzing in her mind was relentless, seeming to have spread down to her body. It was as if ants crawled beneath her skin, running amok under the layers of her arms and legs. Even the thin hairs on her nape were raised as if she had hackles.
Sleep was out of the question, that was certain. She remembered Cedric''s offer, and the prospect of feeling the cool air on her clammy skin was hard to pass up.
With a resigned sigh, Ella discarded her white nightgown and dressed in one of the few simple dresses she had, thick stockings and leather boots; she never bothered with corsets or hoops when she snuck out.
Usually, two guards kept watch over the wing, where she and Rosemary had their bedrooms. As she finished strapping her boots, Ella''s mind was already thinking up excuses so they wouldn''t ask too many questions. Perhaps she could convince them she''d forgotten something in the library.
These excuses ended up being useless, as when she peeked into the hall, it was completely deserted. Upon further inspection, it was obvious there were absolutely no guards nearby. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered this as unusual. But a dominating portion chalked it up to a delayed rotation of guards, urging her to seize the opportunity to leave without being noticed.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth, they say.
The wind was cold and biting on her face and she inhaled greedy lungfuls, grateful to have it clearing her clouded mind. In the further most back of the parklands, there was a dense thicket of hickories and bushes bordering the fortified walls around the manor. A small forest of sorts, where she used to play as a child. More importantly, it was completely out of sight. There was a small hole there, hidden behind the underbrush. It had been her way of sneaking out of the Manor for many, many years. Out of habit, she looked around before sticking her hand into the hollow of a hickory tree, pulling out a wool cloak she kept stashed there. The wool cloak she used when sneaking about town.
She gave a last glance at the manor, the balconies and window illuminated by the party inside, the silhouettes of dancing couples. Music swelled, bright and lively, as well as laughs; the party would last well into the morning, never mind that none of the hosts, other than Harrion, remained present. Tearing her eyes away and adjusting her cloak, she wriggled through the cranny in the wall.
Once she got out and began walking towards town, she couldn''t help but notice how dark it was. It was slightly concerning. Usually, there were torches lighting up the estate at different intervals and above the guarding towers but now, it was pitch black. She couldn''t even distinguish any of the guards flanking the building. It niggled at her mind, but she shrugged it off, more intent on leaving.
She had intentions to walk towards Cedric''s house. She really did. But soon, Ella found herself detouring straight towards the forest as if her feet had a mind of their own. The wind howled, caressing her ears, urging her forward, urging her towards the woods. The prickling under her skin was almost unbearable.
In front of her, the forest stretched far, far away. A riot of brambles, elms, pines, hickories and shrubs.
It usually calmed her. At times when she was upset, she would sneak out and head to Cedric''s house, where they''d lay on the damp grass for hours, talking well into the night. It comforted her, the scent of moss, loam and the tickling of grass on her bare feet.
But tonight something felt strange. At the edge of the forest, she stopped in her tracks. Beyond the dark, thick foliage, there was silence. Absolute silence. There were no chirping crickets, no wolves howling, not even the rustle of owls hunting mice. The forest was absolutely quiet. It was almost eerie.
Almost blindly, she staggered into the woodland, advancing into the backwoods. Like a bolt to the head, Ella was struck by the terrible idea that she could simply run away.
It was completely insane and twenty types of stupid, but it would be so easy.
She was still wearing that hideous ring. The ruby and diamond earrings and necklace she''d given to the servant boy, hours earlier. She''d gone to look for him before he was tossed out and more or less forced him to accept them, as a way to make sure he would be well sustained. But the ring. She still had that Pendergold token. She could sell it and have enough money to live comfortably, it was extravagant enough that she could live off the money for some time.
The thought of how freeing it would be threatened to overwhelm her. She could live in a little cottage and pick apples and read by the fire and maybe even work as a schoolmistress or an apprentice. She may not have had many real-world abilities, but Ella knew she was intelligent and well-read, there were jobs she might obtain with that.
She stumbled deeper into the forest, narrowly avoiding roots and rocks as her heart raced with the thought of the endless possibilities. She could live in another country, maybe even another continent. Surely she could buy a boat ticket with the gold earned selling the ring. She could travel and explore and meet new people and... and...
And she couldn''t leave. Not really.
Deflating, Ella slumped against the rough bark of an elm tree and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. How could she leave? What of her family? What would Harrion do to her mother if Ella ran away? Minna would take the thick of his wrath. And what if he waited a few years and married Rosemary off to Jonas? Ella clenched her teeth. She would rather shackle herself to that monster than have him anywhere near her sister. She didn''t put it past Harrion to marry Rosemary off as soon as she turned sixteen if it meant securing him a good alliance.
No, that''s why she could never leave. She could never shirk her responsibilities. Perhaps that''s why her mother stayed, out of a sense of duty. A shackling sense of duty.
From inside the dark fringes of the forest, she could make out the hill on where the estate stood, monstrous and imposing, surrounded by four massive round towers that guarded the building, flanked by thick stone walls. The manor itself stood proudly with its five storeys, high windows and blood orange shingled roof. Just the sight of it suffocated her, like thick smoke in her lungs.
Her morose train of thought was cut off by the appearance of dozens of red lights surrounding the castle.
Fires, she realized with a horrifying shock.
Blazing, scorching fire. There seemed to be hundreds of torches, more by the second. Abruptly, she could see fire inside the manor, curling smoke coming from the balconies. It was under attack. The sight was like a hot poker to her body, making her bolt upright, her legs tensing in anticipation and her mind buzzing with panic.
Her line of action was cut short by a strong hand clamping on her mouth to stop her screams and another one on her waist, pulling her abruptly into the deep, dark forest.
Ella thrashed wildly, her heart beating violently in her chest, about to burst out. Cold fear gripped her as she flailed, attempting to escape the strong hands that held her captive. It was futile, her captor had the strength of a stone pillar. No matter how much she squirmed, there wasn''t even the slightest of shifts in the arms holding her. Just as abruptly as she''d been hauled into the forest, she was set down. Before she could even consider running off, she was turned around by the shoulders and presented with a man.
Not a man, she realized.
In the dark, his features were almost indistinguishable, but there was something uncanny about him. He was enormous and strong like an ox, furthermore, there was an air of eerie thrumming around him. She realized with a start that this was a Faerie. Ella could feel it in her bones, in her very essence. The crackling of preternatural power around him gave it away, making her skin prickle.
Raw magic.
"Quiet," he hissed.
Ella tried to speak but he waved a hand in front of her mouth. A slight shiver passed over her body and she realized that she couldn''t utter a word. He''d used whatever magic he had to force her into silence. He gripped her shoulder, forcing her to pivot again, and pointed out the silhouettes nearby, filing in.