TW: VIOLENCE, VERBAL ABUSE AND DEROGATORY LANGUAGE


    Harrion Blackwell liked to keep up appearances. This is why when he pulled Ella aside as the guests filed into the dining hall for dinner, for all intents and purposes, it looked like the great Duke was having a mild conversation with his soon-to-be-wed eldest daughter.


    Whether the guests noticed the way his fist coiled around Ella''s thin arm or the way his smile was too tight was anyone''s guess. No one batted an eye and Ella knew better than to draw attention to them, instead she kept her face carefully devoid of any emotion.


    "I hope you''ll remember to behave yourself." His voice was a harsh whisper, despite the polite smile never faltering. "I will not have you making a spectacle in front of our guests." His breath reeked of mead and whiskey. As usual.


    Ella plastered a tight smile on her face. "I wouldn''t dream of it, Harrion."


    The grip on her arm coiled further. She resisted a pained grimace. "Watch your mouth, child. I can make your lasts months here miserable, do not test me."


    A courtier from another court passed by and called a greeting, Harrion inclined his head beatifically in return. Ella''s mouth turned up automatically, practised and precise.


    He gave her a last sharp glance. "Go now, and do not even think of making a fool out of me. I''ll remind you how that ended the last time." He squeezed her arm for good measure and marched towards the dining hall.


    Ella had a split second to compose herself before she went right along into the dining hall, ignoring her mother''s concerned looks and discreetly clasping her hands together to stave off the slight tremors.


    How could she forget?


    The remainders from the last time she vexed Harrion enough to warrant his wrath were still there. Ella had to sleep on her stomach for over a week. A punishment for talking back and protesting the month before, when he''d signed her engagement contract and forced her to sign as well.


    The grand dining hall was already full of guests chattering about. Long, broad tables illuminated by golden candleholders spread throughout, laden with the finest linens, the richest foods, fruits and wines. Golden turkeys, stuffed chicken, baskets full of breads, spreads of cheese, the most exquisite meads and ales. Lord Harrion Blackwell delighted in any good opportunity to showcase his riches.


    Ella took her place at the main table, in the middle of the room. At the head stood Harrion, to his left Grayson, his advisor Lord Avesbury, Ella''s mother and Rosemary. The right side of the main table and the one next to that side had been set apart for the Pendergolds and their own guests. The rest filled the other broad tables dispersed throughout.


    "You, more wine," Jonas Pendergold called to a young server, without even looking at him.


    He was speaking to a dignitary from his own court, jostling the goblet and making it difficult for the poor boy to adequately serve the wine. It was obvious the server was already terrified of dealing with the Duke. With good reason, Jonas'' spasmodic movements caused the servant boy to spill a bit of the crimson liquid. Mercifully, it fell to the floor and missed his lavish garments.


    Still, that didn''t appease Jonas. "Stupid little fool, look what you''ve done!" The young boy whimpered and cowered. "You''ve spilled the wine and barely missed my robes!" He sneered and lifted a hand as if to backhand the boy.


    The boy covered his head and ducked, squeaking, "Please m''lord, it was a mistake! I beg of you!" He was shaking like a leaf.


    Jonas and the dignitary, as well as a couple of others, cackled. "Clean it up, little worm," he said simply, looking down at the boy as if he were a smear on the floor.


    "Terribly sorry, your Grace," Harrion said, sneering at the server who was on his knees, cleaning the spill frantically. "You know how these commoners are, absolutely no sense of manners. I''ll have him replaced immediately. It''s so difficult to find proper servants these days."


    They all laughed good-naturedly, as if abusing a poor boy for a mistake that wasn''t even his fault was adequate, relatable. Ella wanted to vomit. He was a child, she wondered if he even had a family to take him in once he was tossed out.


    Jonas Pendergold reminded her of Harrion, for obvious reasons. Sadly, this wasn''t the first time she''d seen the man do something similar, it wasn''t even the worst of his behaviour. Lord Jonas, with his contempt for life and love of excessive luxury. She discreetly clenched her fists to keep nausea at bay.


    Harrion clinked his glass, and everyone turned their attention to him, as he proceeded to start with his toast.  "A warm welcome to everyone, especially our guests of honour, Lord Barnabas and Lord Jonas Pendergold. We are most honoured that you could all come today to this party in celebration of the imminent union between Lord Jonas and my eldest daughter, Lady Ella. If we are fortunate and continue to be favoured by the Fates, our families and courts will soon be merged by the sacred act of marriage. A true blessing."


    "Blessed indeed," murmured Cordelia to Grace. They''d taken a seat directly in front of her. They both snickered while Ella clenched her knuckles, blank-faced.


    Harrion continued, unaware, "The Fates that guide and protect us have seen it fit to arrange this wonderful union."


    More like, Harrion and his pocket had seen fit to arrange this wonderful union.


    "We can only hope this couple is continued to be graced with great fortune and abundance. Without further ado, we may commence the feast, and celebrate the merging of two great dynasties!" He lifted his glass of mead and signalled that the guests could take seats.


    Fortune and monetary abundance were the only things that mattered in arranged marriages. Ella avoided looking at her betrothed, grateful that she hadn''t eaten anything, otherwise she would have feared emptying her stomach right on the fine linens.


    Peace was a fickle thing, and after five courses of meals filled with stilted, stuffy exchanges, the wine-addled conversation eventually turned to the latest news about the faerie sightings.


    "Another child has gone missing, a peasant boy from our biggest village. Those foul creatures are getting cockier by the second, advancing so much into our lands, thinking they could get so close to the King''s Castle, attacking us right under our noses," said Earl Gladstone of Haysworth, a duchy right next to Rhothomir''s capital and home of the King.


    Usually, they wouldn''t have dared speak of these issues in front of the women, as it was considered "Men''s talk", but most of the noblemen were already drunk enough to forgo rules.


    "We ought to teach those disgusting faerie beasts a lesson! It''s the peasants now, but what if they start to advance onto our own? I''m in favour of storming their miserable lands and slaying the last one of them," Harrion said loudly, wildly gesticulating with a thick finger in the air. This garnered the firm approval of the men around him, who nodded and quipped in with their own crude remarks concerning the fae.


    Ella held back a humourless laugh. It was not lost on her that the reason they were worried was that they might be attacked. As long as it was the peasants, it was fine.


    "I think we should focus on our borders," her brother Grayson supplied. "We should reunite every court''s forces here in the North, we''re the most exposed as we have direct contact with the forest. From here, we can protect the lands and advance if necessary."


    "How brave you are Lord Grayson, preparing to protect us!" Cordelia simpered, looking at Grayson like a besotted fool. "You are so clever, I don''t know how you think of half the things you do, I simply can''t wrap my head around it! We are so fortunate to have you leading us!"


    Ella and Rosemary shared twin looks of distaste at the sheer buffoonery Cordelia was willing to stoop to in order to flatter Grayson. Cordelia was anything but dumb, why she insisted on playing this over the top, air-headed character was inexplicable.


    Ella managed to contain herself to a slight condescending curl of lips. Unfortunately, Rosemary hadn''t been able to stifle the giggle that escaped her.


    Cordelia''s eyes flashed furiously, but she smiled sweetly and said, "Lady Rosemary, I didn''t quite hear you. Please, do tell us your opinion about the situation?"


    This effectively made quite a couple of guests turn and look at the young girl. It was hard for Ella to curve the impulse to bare her teeth.


    It was one thing for Cordelia to feud with Ella, who could perfectly hold her own. But to blatantly target a young girl was crossing a line. It was Rosemary''s first time sitting with the adults, and she was already nervous, something Cordelia had clearly picked up on.


    Rosemary flushed brighter than her ginger hair, her gaze darting over all the guests looking at her. Her hands, folded on her lap, were gripped tight. Ella discreetly nudged her foot, a small gesture of reassurance.


    Rosemary took a deep breath and said, "I just think that perhaps we''re all being a bit rash? We have a treaty, wouldn''t it be better to call a meeting with the Faerie Kings? Maybe they aren''t aware of what''s been happening and there''s a way to go about this without violence and-- blood," she paused and reddened over the last word but continued, "I only think that maybe we should consider other alternatives first, before resorting to war is all..." she clasped her small hands and looked down at the table.


    Pride swelled inside Ella. Despite her low tone of voice and hesitation, Rosemary''s voice had been clear and she''d managed to express herself well, and so wisely at that. It was a sad day when an eleven-year-old with no political experience was wiser than the warmongering, hotheaded fools that were supposed to lead their nation. Had it been allowed, Ella would have clapped.


    She leaned in, ready to discreetly praise her when twin scoffs resonated, loud and clear. Jonas was rolling those lifeless blue eyes of his as if he''d heard the stupidest thing ever. Cordelia was smiling maliciously, exchanging a pitying look with her friends sitting beside her.


    "Lady Rosemary, with all due respect," Cordelia said, taking the tone of a kind sisterly figure imparting wisdom. "I might say that a Lady should never be so bold and imposing with her opinion. It is a man''s job to care for his lands and do what he deems best. One should never pretend to be able to understand such things. As women, we are here to give support to our brave men and our troops and stand by what they do."  She gave Grayson a simpering smile to punctuate her words.


    "It''s not our job to weigh in on such matters or aspire above our roles. Nonetheless, I understand that you are young and may not have understood this yet." The intent look she gave Ella told her that part was directed at her.


    "And that," Jonas said, waving his glass of ale, "is why women do not belong in the court. They speak out of turn and comment about matters they simply cannot understand. Women should stick to their needlework and child-rearing, uncomplicated things."This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    This earned a boisterous laugh from all the men around, especially Harrion. Rosemary''s cheeks stained with shameful ruddiness, her eyes going glassy. She quietly asked to be dismissed to go back with the other children, ignoring Ella''s gaze.


    "Indeed my Lord, but they are quite easy on the eye, don''t you agree? I would have gotten rid of this one long ago if she didn''t look so good on my arm," Harrion chimed in, dismissively pointing a thumb towards Ella''s mother without even looking her way, as if she was a pretty, decorative piece of furniture. No better than a fur coat.


    Minna, her mother, steadily looked at the plate in front of her, not even flinching at her husband''s crude comments or the other men''s laughs.


    After twenty years of marriage, she was used to it.


    The only one who didn''t laugh was Grayson, who simply grimaced. This was, after all, their mother. Still, he made no move to defend her or their sister. He never did, even if he didn''t actively participate.


    It wasn''t that Grayson was cruel, but he was Harrion''s puppet. It was difficult not to feel bitterness over his spinelessness, the way he always stood aside and let them run amok without stepping in. Today, it only served to further incense her.


    Icy rage filled her, flowing free like water gushing out of a punctured dam. She had the violent urge to claw their faces into bloody ribbons and scream herself hoarse with impotence. The women in court were cruel and backstabbing, but they acknowledged each other''s intelligence and wits. At least they gave each other proper credit. It was the men Ella hated most. Men like Harrion and Jonas. To them, Ella the belle of the ball. A beautiful, beautiful fool. A hot commodity to sell and buy, to drape on their arm like any other status symbol. Jewels, furs, fine cigars and beautiful women.


    The best course of action would have been to lower her head, like her mother, and avoid further trouble. But reigning in her ire was like catching dandelion fluff in the wind.


    Perhaps it was the exhaustion, the utter misery of her last days, the lack of food or proper sleep addling her mind, or more likely, years of pent up rage, but Ella cracked.


    With a buzzing in her ears and a sharp smile on her lips, she turned her stare towards Jonas. "Truly, my Lord, men are quite superior," she said through lowered lids. "They are simply designed to be leaders, with all their Fate''s given talents. In fact, they possess such intelligence and wit, that they never see the need to use even half of it."


    His face morphed from scrunched confusion, comprehension, and then, rage.


    It had taken the dung-brained idiot long enough to understand her words. Then he had the gall to say women were dumb. Cordelia may have been many things, but she was quick-witted and never missed the intricacy of insults. If she did, she had the decency to not look so unbecomingly gobsmacked.


    "How fortunate we are," she said, hand lifted to her chest, looking around briefly at the faces of the men around her. "To have such men leading us into battle. They are so intelligent and in tune with each other that it''s almost as if they all shared one single brain between the lot of them."


    This caused several guests to grow wide-eyed, a couple of women even snickered. Ella smiled even wider, fixing her predatory focus on Cordelia, who looked taken aback, slack-jawed in a way that she would definitely feel embarrassed about later.


    Harrion''s glare melting holes into the back of her skull was almost palpable. I should stop, she rationalized. This was going to cause the biggest punishment of her life. Maybe he''d burn all her books again, or worse, lock her in her room for a fortnight like he''d done a couple of times.


    Yet, Ella couldn''t find it in herself to care.


    "The Fates are generous," she said, sagely nodding. "Take Delia, who''s been blessed with bravery, modesty and loudness, so that she may scream to the world all the tremendous number of things she has to be modest about. I can see the resemblance," she said, looking from Jonas to Cordelia. "The fates are truly most magnanimous with some families."


    Jonas was crimson with rage, as was Harrion. Cordelia''s eyes spilled hot, furious tears as she shot up from her seat and bolted out of the great hall without even giving excuses.


    "Oh, she ran out! Do you think it has to do with the baby?" one of the ladies whispered.


    "Surely! The first trimester is always horrible, poor thing," another one answered. They all tittered.


    Any scrap of regret she had about slandering Cordelia had evaporated. Even knowing there would be hell to pay for this, she was deeply satisfied. She excused herself and walked out with a proud, lazy smile and a stride befitting a queen.


    Ella had made it out of the hallway when a meaty, forceful hand gripped her arm harshly, spinning her around. She was met with the choleric face of Harrion, his tiny, beady eyes alight with ire.


    "Why you snivelling, dimwitted little wench, do you have any idea of what you''ve just done?" Harrion shook her, his grip coiling further into her skin, burning.


    "Let me go!" she hissed, tugging her arm fruitlessly. It was a lost cause, the guards standing watch averted their eyes as Harrion forcefully hauled her into an empty room, hard enough that her knees clacked horribly when she fell. After all, they were used to this scene.


    "You are nothing but a burden and a waste of air! A pathetic and stupid, stupid, stupid child," he said, spittle flying everywhere as he thumped his thick pointer finger against the side of her skull. Ella sat on her aching knees, flinching with every single thump.


    "I should beat you with my crop, for bringing shame to House Blackwell. You don''t even deserve to get slapped, you deserve a lashing, like a common slave. You disgust me, always ruining everything!" Harrion squeezed tighter, Ella cried out in pain, angry tears falling at the throbbing in her arm.


    Shame and terror mixed together as Harrion took out the thick leather belt he wore, wrapping it around his red fist. Normally, this would have made her shut her mouth, lower her head and take his punishment silently. Today, rage was mixed in as well, drowning out all the other flavours, making her drunk with fury.


    She looked up at him, snarling and defiant, as she never dared before. Wrath buzzed inside her and blackened everything else.  "Do you think you need help bringing shame to the family name? You thick-skulled bastard, you do that all by yourself! You don''t even run this court! All you do is gamble and squander away the land''s money on whores and lavish parties just so you can give yourself airs, instead of protecting our people, you vain, arrogant fool!"


    Harrion roared, he viciously fisted her hair and reared back his free hand, aiming for her face. Ella shut her eyes as her body violently shook.


    The smack never came.


    Harrion cried out in pain, both hands leaving Ella immediately. He crumpled to the ground, as if he had been forcefully shoved. "You beast, what did you do?" His voice was laced with pain as he laid on the ground in a heap, cradling his hands to his chest.


    Ella''s eyes widened. Though she was dizzy, panting and aching, she wasted no time and bolted off, letting her feet lead her away, as if they had a mind of their own.


    ————


    As she''d expected, Rose sat in front of the hearth, leaning against the sofa with her knees drawn up to her chest. The fire illuminated her contemplative face. Ella''s heart ached. Whatever fear, shame and anger she felt over her own woes melted away like snow in the sun.


    "Oh, birdie," Ella said softly as she sat next to Rosemary. She wrapped an arm around her thin shoulders, wincing. It still burned painfully where Harrion had gripped her and her knees still ached.


    "He hit you again," she whispered, finally turning to face her, her deep brown eyes red-rimmed. They were the colour of Harrion''s eyes; that''s where the similarities stopped.


    Ella sighed. She''d never once mentioned these punishments to Rose, but she was perceptive and old enough to have realized on her own by now.


    Rosemary wrung her hands and her chin wobbled. "It''s all my fault. I shouldn''t have laughed, I shouldn''t have said that, I shouldn''t have--"


    Ella stopped her babbling with a stern look. "Hush. I could have kept my temper in check and held my tongue, but I didn''t. I chose to behave the way I did, it''s my responsibility, not yours. I am in full control of my actions, I knew what I was doing," she said, furrowing her brows. "I don''t regret what I did. You are my sister and nobody will ever speak to you that way."


    Rosemary stayed silent for a moment, then let out a whisper of a smile. "I heard what you said to her and Jonas. It was brilliant."


    "It was quite amusing," Ella said, allowing herself to smile faintly. "Cordelia was terribly red and splotchy. Jonas was so angry he looked like his veins were about to pop, he looked like a big toad, with his eyes all bulging like that." Ella made a hideously bloated, bug-eyed face for emphasis and Rosemary giggled brightly. At least she''d managed to take away that stricken, guilty look from her face.


    "I''d like to have the courage to speak my mind that way," Rose said a moment later. "You always stand up for me. I can barely manage to speak up, I clam up and embarrass myself. I''ll be all alone once you leave..." Her voice was barely a whisper as she hugged her knees to her chest again.


    Ella made a noise of disapproval pointing at her with a stern face. "First of all, you speak up as well. You did so well when you were asked your opinion, I''m so proud of you! No matter all those dense idiots, you shut them right up. You were wise, eloquent and spoke clearly!"


    Rose looked down and smiled timidly. "You really think so?"


    "I know so," Ella said firmly. "You''re just as brave Rosie, don''t ever doubt yourself. You have it in you to do whatever you want, forget what everyone else says. Your opinion matters. Don''t you ever allow anyone to tell you it doesn''t. And most importantly," she said, bitterly thinking of Jonas'' words of women and their child-rearing and needlework. "Never let anyone tell you what you can or can''t do. It''s important is that you know your worth, yes?"


    Then, much softer, "I don''t know a more intelligent, sensible and capable young lady than you. You can do wonderful things, Rosie. I have faith in you, you''d be wise to do the same."


    Rosemary nodded, giving her such a hopeful, grateful smile that her heart ached a little.


    "I will always have your back, always. I''m your big sister, you can''t get rid of me that easily," she said, grabbing her sister''s nose between her fingers, making the younger girl squeal with laughter and swat at her.


    Ella always thought that perhaps if she was mean enough, her reputation might shield her siblings as well. Being awful meant few people dared to bother them, for fear of facing Ella. Her boldness also made her a bigger target than her siblings, certainly, whatever mischief they caused usually went unnoticed by Harrion in face of her own behaviour. Through the years, she''d learned to take the brunt of most things.


    "Maybe he won''t want to marry you after this," Rose said, hope taking over her entire face.


    "Maybe," Ella lied through the knot in her throat, smoothing her skirts and letting Rose lay her head on Ella''s shoulder.


    They sat there by the fire in companionable silence until a while later, a tall, slender figure stalked in.


    "What were you thinking, Ella? Let me guess, you weren''t thinking, as usual," Grayson said, his green eyes hard and his mouth pursed into a rigid line.


    Ella stood up and stalked over to her brother, crossing her arms. "I was thinking that some people needed to be put into place."


    "You cannot insult our guests in such a way, we have rules!" Grayson gesticulated wildly, pacing in front of the fire. "Would it kill you to be more responsible and not run off your mouth constantly?"


    "Am I to entertain guests who sit at our table and openly insult our family?" Ella retorted, scoffing.


    "What respect do I owe them, when they show not even the slightest modicum of decency. Forgive me if I have little hospitality for them. Lord Jonas, making a laughing stock out of our sister and mother, ridiculing them in front of everyone. And Cordelia," Ella let out a humourless laugh, shaking her head. "I''ll drop pretences with you and spare you the subtle warnings; Cordelia is a nasty, gold-digging cow, she only wants to sink her claws into you so she can secure your fortune and title. You can do far better, Grayson."


    Grayson said nothing, looking at her intently with his mouth in a thin line and jaw ticking. He tugged his thick, dark curls through his hand and sighed.


    "She also seems to be incredibly rude to my sisters, and frankly, a bit of an airhead," he said after a moment, softly. "And Lord Jonas is always insulting our staff and causing scenes. Not to mention, the way he mocks everyone. It''s terribly rude and crass," he admitted, shifting on his feet.


    Ella''s head snapped up at that. Grayson''s fire-lit features were sincere with apology.


    "You''re right. I should have stood up to them. I don''t enjoy the crude jokes, you know. I hate seeing father treat mum so cruelly, humiliating her in front of everyone. But I can never bring myself to say anything," He sighed, eyes shuttering.


    "You''re always so domineering, sometimes I get so angry at your boldness—" He threw his hands up and massaged his forehead. Then, his features softened. "But then, I also admire how you stand up for us, how you''re always looking out for us. I know you take care of us," he said, looking at her with his wide, guilty eyes. "I couldn''t manage to say half of what you do. So I''m sorry. I''m sorry Rosie, sorry for not saying anything. And I''m sorry, Ella, for being so absent at times."


    Ella threw her arms around his waist and embraced him. Grayson stood there, shocked for a second, but eventually squeezing her against him. She pulled back and looked up at his face. "Thank you," she said quietly, through the knot it her throat.


    It was nice to feel like Grayson was on her side for once, instead of always against her, like the rest of them. She couldn''t help but be touched by this extremely uncharacteristic apology and admission.


    It wasn''t that she didn''t love him. She did, tremendously. But they were most often at odds. She was much too opinionated and harsh, too rebellious and insensitive at times. He was stern and much too concerned with proper behaviour and lordly duties. She could count the number of times they were on the same side on one hand.


    For Grayson to open up and admit to something like this, it soothed the horrible knot in her stomach and made her feel like there was some silver lining to the whole awful day. All she wanted most of the time, was for him to be on her side.


    Grayson smiled sheepishly and took a seat on the floor, on Rose''s other side. Rose was smiling fondly at her siblings, visibly content to be with them, happy they weren''t fighting for a change.


    "What were you doing before I came in?" Grayson asked, stretching his long legs in front of him, getting comfortable.


    Ella''s eyebrows raised in surprise. The party was far from over, but he was seemingly preferring to stay there with them. "Rosie was about to read us Tales of Magic Children," she said, instead of pointing out his behaviour, one that she was glad for. They never spent time together lately.


    "I haven''t heard that in ages! Not since we were little," Grayson reminisced with a warm smile. He grabbed a small pillow between his arms and rested his chin on top, listening as Rosemary began to read.


    The three siblings sat there, Rosemary sandwiched in the middle, reading out loud, imitating voices for the characters, making Ella and Grayson laugh.


    Despite popular belief, Ella was not heartless.


    It could never be said that the two by her side weren''t the most important people in her life or that she wasn''t willing to go to great lengths for them. Perhaps they''d never truly understand her either, but they loved her just like she did them, and that was enough for her.