So have you ever thought that your life would be better as a game? Well let me tell you living life as a game is a living hell. I mean hell with a big H E L L.I At first I thought I was going to be having the time of life. That was until I ran into my first monster. That''s when I first found out that my life was going be nowhere near what I was hoping.
Before I get into the tale of my life, let me give you a little background info. Firstly my name was Blake Stormbringer. I know what you’re thinking, Stormbringer really, but sadly its true. My last name sounded liked a cheesy character out of a Saturday morning cartoon. All throughout my child hood I was teased every day for it, but that’s for another time.
I was a 23 years old African American male. I’m was what most people would call a Jeek; jock plus geek. My IQ was a 190 and I was an All-American Running back for my University football team. By now you’re most likely thinking why do I keep talking about myself in past tense. Well there is a perfectly good reason for that. I died.
But it’s not all that bad at least I died saving a little kid that was about to get hit by a car, so it’s all well and good. Ha-ha that’s what you thought I was going to say right. Yea right. My death was nowhere near as glories as that. No I died by tripping over my untied shoe lace in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I just happened to be running near a new construction zone and out of nowhere a crane dropped a steel beam on top of my head. Yes a steel beam, how unlucky can one get. The only good thing about having a steel beam drop on you is you’re dead before you realize your died. But the oddest thing happen to me after my death.
I found myself in the middle of a forest with a message ringing in my head telling me that I have been reborn for my good deeds done in my past life. The message also went on to tell me that the world that I’m in now, works similar to a world in the video games back home. With magic, monsters and all the standard things you would find in a RPG fantasy game. Needless to say I was ecstatic. I mean can you blame me,
I who have just died got reborn in a world that worked like a game. I had all kinds of things running in my mind from how I was going to become some OP hero or demon or anti-hero I couldn’t really pick which. But the main thing running in my head was all the girls I was going to sleep with. All the exotic human and demi human females of this world, with most likely big breast and coke bottle shaped bodies.
Stolen novel; please report.
As you can see my mind was nowhere near where it should have been at that moment. I didn’t check to see what kind of body I had, what skills I had if any, and what my level was or if I was even human. No I was just mindlessly walking through the forest not having a care in the world. After walking for, I’m guessing 2 hours, I ran into my first monster. A seemingly 10 foot tall human looking monster. Now to my defense I was not clearing thinking at that moment. I being the genius that I was, thought being as I was just reborn and this world was said like a game, that this had to be a beginner monster. I’m not going to tell you how the fight went but I will say this…Skyrim.
Now I know what your thinking, did he really just get smacked by a giant and die lol. Sadly yes and no. Firstly before I explain myself let me start off by asking you, please don''t laugh it''s bad enough that it happened. Remember how I said that I was going to find out how my life was going to be hell. Well this is where it all started. So...let''s see how I can explain this to you so that it won''t hurt as much. The first thing I got to say is that giant I saw was not a giant at all. It was a five year old kid. Yes you heard that right a kid. And secondly he was not a monster but human. The first monster I been talking about, well that was me. O how mad I was to find that out. Like come on who wants to be reborn as a monster. That really throws a wrench in my plans to sleep with a lot of woman and to take over the world per say. But that''s a whole other problem. So back to the story, where was I again. O yea, like I was saying I was reborn as a monster and the worst monster possible. A slime. Like really a fucking slime. If I was to be reborn as a monster a least a goblin or a kobold or any other dam monster for that fact, would have been better. And to make it worst I was so small that I thought a five year old kid was a giant. Like come on......You know what let me stop here, every time I think about this I get so pissed off I can''t even think straight. So with that said let''s get to the real story of my living hell in a world that works similar to a game. As I''m telling you this story I will try to keep my anger and tears in check but if that doesn''t happen please just give me a good hit on the head to get me back on track ok. Now the beginning of my new life again.....