I got lots of feedback on my story already after only a few hours!


    Well, i realized that it''s pretty much really confusing. The sentences are not correctly built and too long.


    I set too many comma (well and sometimes they are even wrongly placed).


    I will read up and learn about some writing specific grammar and update the first three chapters before i continue on to more (i will continue on even with less people reading my story ._.).


    My will is unbroken and I''m still determined to share my story with the world.


    The ''narrator'' in this story is not a real narrator and he is not me, the author. He has his views on the world and we will see the story through his eyes and through the eyes of our MC.


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    The story I have in my head is a little more complicated than what I have shown and the interest in the story from chapter 1 won''t grab the attention of lots of readers (i think so at least, got told that too).


    I don''t want the reader to force himself to read through the story. I will try to better my writing and i will (hopefully) learn more and be able to write smoother. Ah and maybe, just maybe i''ll even develop my own writing stiyle!


    Thanks for reading so far, your very insecure newbieauthor Hima.