Chapter 147
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Isabe and Rodrick were waiting for us at the front door. I can suddenly see where Griffin has his
careful and worrying nature from. Where Rodrick rushes up to me and gathers me in a bear hug
that has me feel like he is breaking my ribs. Isabe smacks her mate telling him to be careful and
then fuzzes over me making sure I am alright.
It’s a thirty-minute drive, Griffin surprises me when he suggests we go there in two separate cars.
Again Rodrick seems to want to speak up while Isabe stops him from doing so, agreeing with
their son. Only when we get to the car I finally get his n.
“Close your eyes, Darling sleep for thirty minutes it will do you some good,” He tells me as he gets
into his truck.
He just gave me an opportunity to rest a little more. A moment I needed so I do as he said and I curl
up in the passenger seat. Where the rumbling of the car engine “sings” me to sleep instantly.
Attentive as he is Griff wakes me up five minutes before we arrive at the food festival. Giving me the
chance to feel less drowsy.
After parking he jumps out to open the door, something he has always done. Tonight it feels like a
reminder of how good life can be with him. How special and cherished he makes me feel every day.
I ignore the little voice in my head that I should be wearing his mark already. That I have no idea
when I will be able to wear it because the thirty minutes of sleep in the car were far from enough.
And a part of me regrets agreeing with this n.
Maybe Griffin was right, maybe this is all too much, too soon. Still, I can’t help but bask in the light of
the setting sun. Enjoy the wind on my skin and the buzz of the night that is alive with happy people.
The
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air is pregnant with the smell of various foods.
I am unsure if Rodrick does because he sees how tired I am. Or if just like his son, he is a
gentleman. But he suggests we get a table to sit down on every time we find something to eat. He
spotted some tables you can reserve for a little money. While thewn chairs won’t be very
comfortable this table at least gives me a ce to sit down when I need to. And pausing in between
all rounds being able to sit and take my time eating will help too.
***
Two hourster we were on our way back, of course, I was the one who wanted to go home first.
And at the end of the night, I was swaying on my legs with how tired I was. During the car ride
home, I could not sleep because Griffin was clearly upset with me. Even if he said no when I asked
him about it. The tick in his jaw, and his white knuckles because he was gripping the steering wheel
too hard was all I needed to know.
***
This time he didn’t just open the door for me and he carried me to the car. Still not saying a word.
We had gotten into arguments before, when I was strong, when I felt safe. Now all that had
happened to me left me feeling vulnerable and raw.
“Please Griff, I can tell you are upset please tell me how I can make it “up to you?” I begged not
wanting to be so terrible atmunicating
again that I would spiral.
Spiral into that dark ce where I can’t believe he loves me. Where I am so sure he is going to find
fault in who I am and what I do that he will leave me. The dark ce where I want to spare myself
from that pain so much that I will find fault in everything he does just so he isn’t the one to find fault
in me. The ce where I was when we just met.
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The ce he healed me from and the one ce where I never want to go back to.
“I’m not upset with you Darling, can we please talk about this in our room when we’re in our bed” He
grits out through his teeth.
Leaving me with no choice but to believe him and just wait. Trying to stop myself from spiraling into
that dark ce.
And I manage to when we reach our chambers and Griffin struggles to open the door because he
seems unable or unwilling to let me go. I am still not in that dark ce, all I am is anxious about
what he will tell me. Being anxious is far better than being there. He eventually manages to open
the door andys me down on the bed.
Taking off my sneakers, and getting a clean one of his shirts for me to sleep in. All without saying a
word.
“Please, I can’t stand this any longer I am so scared you don’t want to be with me anymore” I cry
and hees to an immediate standstill.
“Darling, all I ever wanted was to be with you, even before I knew you. You were all I ever imagined
when I was dreaming about my mate.” He makes his way to the bed and sits down next to me
before he
continues.
“Remember how I said I loved that you’re so petite. I still do but I loved it because it made me feel
like the big strong Alpha wolf that could protect you. It is st upid because you never needed it. It was
just a feeling I loved” He falls quiet just staring at his hands like he doesn’t know how to go on.
The onlyfort I can offer him is to put my hand on his thigh. What he just told me is nothing new,
but there is more to it, that much is clear. I just don’t know what to tell him either.
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After two minutes in this awkward silence, he clears his throat and he
continues.
“And I failed it, when David kidnapped you, when it took me weeks to find out where he was. Then I
stood on top of your prison, sensing you but I couldn’t rescue you. I hate myself for it and now I
couldn’t keep you safe you from almost copsing from being so tired. I should have just kept my
mouth shut about the food festival.” He starts crying, I have never seen him cry before.
I have seen him on the verge of tears before, the time when he interrupted me rejecting him to get
the cookies out of the oven. It was easy to forget that Griffin might have been traumatized too. He
went through just as much as I did. Now I am the one who wraps my arms around him. Griffin just
slumps down against me sobbing in my arms.
in between.
“Aren’t you mad with me or disappointed at me?” He asks in between s obs.
“I am not Griff, you were the one that made me pull through, with all the love you showed me.” I
start and then I tell him all about what happened when I was in thea.
How I had the choice to die, to just stay in the heavenly valley knowing I deserved to be there with
the Moon Goddes and how I had made my way back to him. Hoping it wouldfort him so that we
could start healing together.
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