Chapter 183
E
I’m gaping at Ethan, wondering where on earth this came from.I already exined to him why I haven’t
shared our baby news with the pups yet, and I can’t believe he would dismiss those concerns so
quickly.
What am I saying? I think grimly. Of course I can believe it. This isn’t the same Ethan who lowed you,
remember?
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“No, it’s too soon.” I object, feeling furious that he chose this moment to have this conversation, when I
should be enjoying watching the children unwrap their new pet.
On the floor in front of us, the pups are carefully unwinding the ribbon from the box containing their new
bunny, positively quaking with excitement. They’re wearing identical expressions of utmost focus,
brows furrows and lips pursed in concentration. No sooner have they freed the ribbon and carefully
lifted the ps of the box, that a little white blures bursting out, hopping right out of the box as the
pups squeal with surprise and excitement.
“It is a bunny!” Paisley exims, “I knew it!”
“Wait, where are you going!” Riley directs her words at the bunny itself, which is enthusiastically
exploring the penthouse and seemspletely unbothered by the fact that four puppies are in hot
pursuit, eager to catch and cuddle it.
“That bunny has nerves of steal.” I observe dryly .”Oh I tested every bunny at the pet store.” Ethan
whispers, standing much too close for my liking. “I knew we would need a brave one to survive the
pups.”
I can’t help but smile as I watch my children giggle and beam, following the bunny around and asking it
questions. Is it from the wild? Does it have a name? Is it a boy or a girl? Is it white because it came
from the North Pole? They don’t seem to mind that the bunny isn’t answering any of their questions.
When the bunny hops onto Ethan’s foot, I begin to wonder if this bunny is brave or just stupid. I know it
was raised around wolves, but surely it recognizes a predator as dangerous as my ex- husband?
Shouldn’t it be more afraid of being gobbled up? Ethan scoops up the furball in onerge hand. “Let’s
see, little bunny, what’s your story?”
Ethan lifts the rabbit to his ear, pretending to listen intently then nodding along as if the bunny is
speaking to him. “He says he’s a boy, and he calls himself Mr. Fluff though you can give him a
nickname if you like, and yes, he is white because hees from the arctic, though he’s only ever
visited the north pole itself.”
“Daddy ask him if he’s wild!” Paisley chirps excitedly.
“Mr Fluff, are you wild?” Ethan presses, speaking very solemnly to the little fuzzball resting in his palm.
He holds the bunny to his ear again. “Ah, he says he was wild once but he got tired of living in all that
snow and hopping around so much just to find his dinner, so he went to Santa and asked him to find
him a nice family that would give him a home, and lots of treats so he can get very fat.”
The pups giggle, and my stomach drops. Of all the challenges I’ve encountereding back to the
NightFang pack, seeing Ethan be silly with the pups again is near the top of the list. It drives me mad
that he can be so fun and loving with him, when I know he ns on phasing himself out of their lives. It
makes everything feel so very insincere. What’s worse than my outrage for my pups, however, is my
own disappointment that he’s not putting on the same sort of act for me.
Couldn’t he pretend to be nice until we go home?
Couldn’t he show me a fraction of this warmth, even if he ns on taking it away again?
Ethan kneels before the pups. “Do you want to hold him? He told me he loves cuddles but only if you
don’t squeeze him too tight.”
The pups extend their little paws with reverence, as if they’ve been assigned a very solemn duty
indeed. Parker takes the bunny first, cuddling him to his chest and stroking one finger down his pink,
twitching nose. “We promise not to squeeze you,
“We’ll give you a nice home and feed you whenever you want.” Riley adds, hesitantly reaching out to
stroke the soft white fur. “Ooh, he’s so fuzzy!”
“Daddy I didn’t know you could speak bunnynguage!” Paisley looks up at Ethan in awe. “Can you
teach me?”
“It’s really just about listening with your heart.
Clear your own mind and let him do the talking.”
Ethan advises. “Do you want to try?”
Paisley nods vigorously, and Parker gently lifts the white creature to his sister’s ear. Her sweet face
lights up like fireworks, and she grins up at us. “He says his favorite food is marshmallows, and he’s
happy to meet us.’
“There, see.” Ethan smiles proudly. “You’re a natural.”
Despite my sadness over Ethan’s two-faced behavior, I’m d that this game has distracted him from
thoughts of telling the pups about the baby, at least for now. Of course, almost as soon as I think this,
he finds a way to prove me wrong. The pups sit in a circle and release Mr Fluff onto the floor, letting
him bounce around between them and taking turns holding him. As soon as it’s obvious they’re settled,
Ethan pulls me aside.
“It will be better if we can tell them about the baby while we’re together, so we can both answer their
questions.” He says quietly.
“But what if… what if something goes wrong?”I whisper, hating speaking this particr fear aloud.
For a moment, I think I see a flicker of emotion in his eyes, but it disappears as quickly as it surfaced.
“If something does go wrong and the pups know, then you won’t have to go through it alone.” Ethan
answers, his voice low and steady.
I look back at my pups, clenching my jaw, “They’re already worrying about me and I can’t stand it. I’m
not going to put that on them too.”
“But Jane, they were worried without you saying a word about your feelings. It’s probably more
stressful for them to know you’re upset but not understand why, then to have you talk things through
with them. Besides, if you share your feelings with them, they’ll learn to share theirs when they grow
up.” Ethan advises.
Damn it, he’s right. I realize. If I bottle things up and hide them from my children, they’ll learn to do the
same. It goes against my every instinct, but when Ethan continues, I know I have to agree.
You won’t be cing a burden on them, you’ll just be teaching them it’s okay to be sad sometimes.
Trying to cover it up only makes them think it’s wrong or shameful. And we don’t even know if that will
happen.”
“Fine,” I reply, wrapping my arms around myself protectively, and wishing they were his. “Let’s tell
them.”
“Kids,” Ethan states warmly, “Mr. Fluff isn’t the only one joining the family.”
All four pups look up in wide eyed confusion. “He’s not?” Riley asks, crinkling her nose in confusion.
“Did we get another bunny?” Paisley asks eagerly.
“No angel.” I answer, chuckling softly and reflexively moving my hand to my belly, “We’re going to have
a baby. Mommy’s pregnant, and in a few months you’ll have a new sibling.”
At first, I’m not sure they’ve heard me, cuz their faces are nk. I know they understand the basics of
pregnancy – mother’s carrying babies in their tummies, but beyond that they have only the most
rudimentary concept of how babiese about, and I have a sneaking suspicion we’re about to enter
a conversation I’ve been dreading for years.
“So there’s a baby inside you right now?” Parker asks quizzically.
“Yes.” I reply simply.
“But how did it get in there?” Ryder follows up.
“Your Daddy nted a tiny seed in my belly, and now it’s growing into a baby.” I reply, hoping this will
satisfy them.
“nted, like in a garden?” Riley reasons, perking up. “Mommy is there a garden in your tummy?”
“No sweetheart.” Ethan smiles, “But Mommies have a special ce inside them for growing babies,
and so Daddies can give them seeds to grow when they want a new baby.”
“But why did you want a new baby?” Paisley asks, suddenly looking worried. “Aren’t we enoughs for
you?”
“Of course you’re enough.” I profess, sitting next to her on the floor. “But the magical thing about
Mommies is that they have infinite love to give – do you know what that means?”
“No.” The pups admit, looking back and forth between one another.
“It means never ending, with no limit. So having another baby doesn’t mean I have less love to give to
you all, it just means that I have so much love to give that I want as many babies as I can to cuddle and
spoil. And just think about how much you all love each other, isn’t it exciting to think you’ll have a new
brother or sister to love and y with?”
Riley, Parker and Ryder are smiling now, looking as though they like this idea very much. Paisley on
the other hand, is studying Ethan and I with that look that always reminds me she’s lived a much
different, and harder life than her siblings. “Does this mean we get to stay with Daddy?”
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