Chapter 90


    #Chapter 90 – Memories


    Jane


    As I zoom back across town, retracing the steps I took mere hours ago when I first ran to Linda’s, my


    mind drifts to the past. The clenching pain in my pelvis is


    blinding now, and the only refuge left to


    me is the world in my head. My memories


    swirl around me in a familiar fog, but one


    day stands out from the rest.


    I was eighteen, newly married and


    supporting Ethan at one of the most


    difficult times in his life. The day after his


    father’s funeral I truly believed I was


    though Ethan offered to stay home with


    me, I told him to go to work anyway. It


    was too important, he was the new Alpha


    and he had to seem like he was up for the


    job from day one.


    “Are you sure?” He asked me, leaning over my prone body on the bed, his brow furrowed in concern.


    “Go on, I’ll be fine.” I promised, leaning up on my elbow to kiss him goodbye, “I just need to take some


    painkillers and try


    to rest.”


    “Only if you’re sure.” He frowned,


    kissing me again, then bending his head to kiss my fresh iming mark. “I’ll see you tonight. Just call if


    you need anything.”


    “Good luck, Alpha.” I teased, though some of our old joke had died away now that the title actually


    belonged to him. I couldn’t taunt him about not being in power yet, and every mention of the word was


    a reminder that his father was gone.


    After he left I curled up and tried to nap, but before long my mind started to drift


    to my new husband. He’d worn me out


    over thest few days, and my body was deliciously sore. I never dreamed how


    much pleasure was possible with one’s mate. Everything he’d shown me before we eloped felt


    wonderful, but it was so different to actually have him inside me,


    iming my very soul.


    The more I thought about it, the hotter I


    became, my most intimate parts surging


    to life and swelling with blood, demanding attention from my mate. At first I reached down to the apex


    of my


    thighs, rmed by the gravity of the need


    quickly consuming me and desperate to


    take the edge off, but no matter how I tried, nothing helped. I might as well have been touching


    someone else, so little


    did it impact me.


    I realized the problem quickly, much more quickly than I figured out what was happening to me. I


    needed Ethan, my


    wolf only wanted his touch, and even my


    own hands wouldn’t be able to relieve the horrible ache between my legs. I pulled


    out my phone, feeling incredibly guilty for disturbing him when he probably wasn’t even to the office yet,


    but beyond all thought or reason. Deciding to text instead of call, I quickly typed: how long are you


    going to be gone?


    His answer came back so quickly I suspected he’d been staring at his phone, The typical work day


    ends at 6pm, but I’ll


    try to get away a little early if I can.


    Oh Goddess, it was only ten AM. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, I truly believed I would


    die if I didn’t get rutted soon. Had marriage corrupted me sopletely? So quickly? What was


    wrong with me that I was going half crazy with desire? Normal people couldn’t possibly exist this way –


    they’d never get anything done! When I didn’t respond promptly, Ethan send another message.


    Are you okay?


    This prompted an entirely different kind of crisis. Ethan was working on lowering my inhibitions when it


    came to talking


    –


    about sex encouraging me to tell him


    what I wanted, liked, and speak the


    naughty terms aloud, but I wasn’t there yet. I didn’t have the first clue how to convey what I needed


    from him without mortifying myself, or to rte just how urgent the situation was bing.


    Half-mad, I realized I couldn’t ask him toe home when he’d barely started his first day as Alpha,


    but I honestly couldn’t abide the thought of waiting until he came home either. I’d never make it eight


    more hours. Can Ie see you? I typed


    dizzily.


    Of course – is everything okay? He asked


    again.


    I just need to see you. I exined,


    lurching out of bed and pulling on some


    proper clothes.


    I stumbled my way downstairs and hopped into the first cab I could g down. The driver was a beta,


    and seemed slightly star-struck to suddenly have the new Luna as a passenger. He offered me his


    condolences on my father-inw’s death, and asked after the family, telling me he’d take me anywhere


    I liked.


    “Please, take me to the pack headquarters,” I whimpered. “Fast.”


    “Yes, Ma’am.” He actually saluted me, before careening off down the street. It was during our wild ride


    through the city streets that the painnded, mming into me full force. Where moments before


    I had been overwhelmed with raw, animal lust, now it was blending with the most terrible pain. I’ve


    never felt so empty, and I cried out in anguish,


    “Mydy, what’s wrong?” He asked, eyeing me in the rearview mirror.


    “I don’t know.” I cried, trying to curl up on the back seat. “I… I think I’m dying. I


    need Ethan.”


    The driver scented the air and then, to my


    shock and mild offense, the cabby began tough. “Oh dear, poor child. Did no one ever exin it to


    you?”


    “What-?” I gasped, tears streaming from


    my eyes.


    “You’ve gone into heat, little Luna.” He told me softly, “you won’t be dying any


    time soon.”


    My face flushed with color. No one had ever exined it to me, then again, they might not have known.


    My mother,


    Linda, all the women in my life were


    betas. This wasn’t a problem they had to


    face. Heat, rutting, all these strange


    games of dominance and submission it


    was all the rare domain of alphas and


    omegas.


    When we arrived at the pack


    headquarters the driver made me stay in the car. “You don’t want anyone but your mate to smell you.”


    He advised


    cryptically.


    “Why not?” I asked nervously.


    “I’ll let him exin that to you.” He


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    murmured, “just stay here.”


    For once I actually did what I was told,


    but it wasn’t because I had any interest in


    obeying, it was simply because I was in


    too much pain to move. I’dter learn


    that the first heat is always the worst, I


    suspect in part because it is so new and


    unexpectedly awful. Inter years I was


    able to prepare myself for the pan, n


    out everything in advance to ease my


    torment. The one movement I could


    manage this first time was to roll down


    the windows. It was so hot in the back of


    the car, and I felt like I was choking


    without fresh air.


    I’m not sure how long the driver took retrieving Ethan, and I imagine it wasn’t easy to do so without


    announcing what was happening to the entire building, but


    it felt like hours to me. The first few


    wolves who passed by the parked taxi paid no notice to me, but after about a dozen men strolled past,


    one stopped


    dead in his tracks, turning towards the car and looking as if he’d been pped right across the face.


    He was a mountain of a man, almost as tall as Ethan and sporting quite a bit more fat. When his eyes


    landed on me they immediately began to glow. His fangs and ws extended, and he began growling


    low in his chest. Waves of feral aggression poured off him in waves, and


    the next thing I knew he was lunging towards the car, trying to climb through the window to reach me


    even though he


    was much toorge to fit.


    It was a blessing the doors were locked, because his meaty hand was viciously yanking at the handle,


    trying to wrench the door open. I wondered why he didn’t just open the door from the inside, but he


    couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of me. I’ve never seen such madness – before or


    since. I’m sure if he’d been able to reach


    me he would have forced himself on me


    right there in the middle of the street. Instead I could only cower on the floor between the front and


    back seats, praying


    he didn’t find the sense to push the interior lock. I might be able to outrun him, if I got out of the car, but


    suddenly the cabby’s words made a lot more sense. If this is what my scent did to an Alpha, how many


    more wolves would I draw into the chase out in the open?


    Thankfully I never had to find out,


    because a few momentster the horrible


    man was yanked out of the window as a thunderous roar overpowered his frantic


    snarls. His big body went flying, and the next thing I knew, Ethan was there, gathering me up off the


    ground and into his arms. “What were you thinking, leaving the house in this state?” He demanded


    fiercely, kissing every inch of


    skin he could reach as he rocked me back


    and forth. I could feel his hardness


    digging into my bottom, but he seemed


    that other man. “I would havee


    home without a second thought, Janey.”


    “I didn’t know,” I whimpered, clinging to him. “I just knew I needed you.”


    The vision breaks when I get back to the


    apartment, but not entirely. Still floating


    along the hazy nes of memory, I sneak down the hall towards Ethan’s room,


    only pausing to make sure the pups are sound asleep in their room before


    continuing. I start to step into the room,


    but as soon as my eyes focus on the bed, I


    freeze: Ethan isn’t alone.