Chapter 89
#Chapter 89 – Heat
Jane
This can’t be happening. I can’t be going
into heat – not now!
“No I’m not!” I tell Ethan frantically, denying what he can obviously see and
smell. He’s hovering much too close, driving my wolf over the edge and
sending waves of panic through my body. He starts to reach for me, but I back away,
flinching.
“Don’t, stay back!” I urge, thrusting my palm towards him defiantly. “I’m not
going into heat, this is just… period
cramps!” I dere stubbornly, “you
don’t want to be around me when I’m like
this.”
“Janey, you’re being ridiculous – it’s perfectly natural.” Ethan sighs, dropping
his outstretched hands nheless. “And
you’re in pain, you should let me help.”
“No, you’re thest person I want right now.” I lie, even as my wolf begs me to let him take away the
spasms of agony clutching my insides. I’m not sure how long he can be around my scent before he goes
into rut, but I know from experience that once he does, any chance I have at resisting him will disappear.
“I need to get out of here!”
“And go where?” Ethan growls, his own wolf shing in his eyes. “To Eric?”
“No!” I exim, my stomach churning at the idea of the other man putting his hands on me. My wolf
doesn’t like that idea at all. “To Linda. I need to be around
another woman, not rutting alphas.”
“Alright then, I’ll take you,” He offers, looking as though he’s having to forcibly hold himself back from
pouncing on me.
“That’s okay.” I answer shakily, “you stay here with the pups, I’ll catch a taxi.”
“Jane you can’t go out around other shifters, any alpha you meet will go crazy for your scent and most of
them don’t have my strength.” He reminds me as if I could forget.
“I’ll be okay.” I assure him, “just take
care of my babies.”
“Just promise me you won’t go near
Eric.” He demands. 1
“We’re getting married, Ethan.” I state firmly, “this isn’t the first… he won’t…” I
can’t seem to get the words out, as if lying to my chosen mate is too much of a betrayal in this vulnerable
moment. “I
promise.” I finally whisper, feeling as though I want to crawl under a rock and
die.
“Good,” He deres, “just wait two
minutes, I’ll call a car for you – one with a female driver.”
A few minutester I’m speeding away towards Linda’s apartment, curled up in a ball on the back seat
and trying to focus on anything but the pain assailing my body. Linda meets me at the curb outside her
building, helping me from the vehicle and guiding me into the house while I
remain bent double. When we get upstairs sheys me out on the couch, going to prepare a hot water
bottle while I whine and feel sorry for myself.
“I thought the supplements you take to change your scent were supposed to protect you from this?” She
wonders
aloud, calling out from the kitchen. “I mean your omega side seems almostpletely dormant.”
“Apparently even modern medicine isn’t
any match for Ethan’s pheromones.” I gripe, throwing my arm over my eyes to
clock out the lights.
“What are you going to do?” She asks,” This isn’t going to go away on its own,
Janey.”
“I know that.” I groan, “but if I sleep with Ethan again, he’ll take it as a sign to keep fighting for me.” Not to
mention that my wolf doesn’t want anyone else. She only
wants Ethan, which means that I can’t
even scratch this itch with another Alpha
if I wanted to. 3
“I mean let’s be fair.” Linda urges, “he’s not going to give up whether you’re in heat or not.” She
announces, bringing the
red, rubber balloon full of soothing water
to me andying it on my lower belly.
“Don’t remind me.” I whimper, feeling
only somewhatforted by the bottle’s
heat. “We had the worst fight, Linda. He’s
making me doubt everything I thought I
knew.” Of course I couldn’t admit this to
((
him he’d be smug and self-righteous about it, but I know Linda will never
judge.
“Like what?” She asks, lifting my feet to
sit next to me on the sofa, then settling
them in herp.
Struggling to produce full sentences while my body tries to kill me from the inside out, I gradually exin
our fight, including Ethan’s usations against Eric, and my own hard-headed response. “Do you think
I’m making a mistake trusting Eric?” I ask. “I mean, he’s
proven himself to me over and over again, he’s never done anything but be a good friend to me… while
Ethan -”
“Ethan thought he was doing the right thing.” Linda interjects, “I mean he was horribly – horribly wrong
but you have to know he never set out to hurt you Jane.” She continues, rubbing my feet. ” Why are you
questioning Eric?”
“Ethan really seems to think he’s up to no good.” I exin, “but that’s hardly a surprise, he’d be
suspicious of any man sniffing around me.
“Maybe so.” Linda agrees, “but I’ve never known him to be unfair. Even at his
worst, he was always trying to be fair to everyone involved.”
“And Eric?” I press.
“Eric is crazy about you.” Linda deres, unable to look me in the eyes. “When you
walk in the room you are the only person
he sees. And he wants to protect you, he wants to help you. Men do stupid things when they think the
she-wolves they care
about are in trouble.”
Not for the first time, I begin to wonder if my friend isn’t attracted to Eric. “You like him, don’t you?”I ask
hesitantly. “I mean, like him, like him.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” She scoffs, “He
doesn’t even know I exist.”
“That isn’t what I asked.” I state softly.
“No, but it’s what matters.” Linda
argues, “it doesn’t matter how I feel about him when he only wants you.”
“It matters to me.” I say, starting to
reach for her hand but instead curling in
on myself with a fresh wail of pain as a particrly sharp stab hits my womb. ” You’re… my best…
friend.” I gasp. “If I’d known I never would have considered his
offer.”
“And I didn’t want to get in your way in
case you liked him.” She admits.
“I don’t.” I decide firmly. “Not like that.”
My heat decided it even if my mind wasn’t convinced. I might like the idea of being with someone safe,
but if the idea of being with him physically makes me
feel ill then there’s nothing left to debate.
“And I don’t think he really wants me – I
think he’s fallen for his idea of me.”
“Either way I think you should ask him about what Ethan told you.” She suggests, “just to see how he
acts when you do. It can tell you a lot.”
“What if Ethan is right? What if I’ve been letting Eric manipte me?” I whisper, silently admiring my
friend’s grace and wishing I could help her somehow. She not only put me above her own feelings, but
she clearly feels deeply enough for Eric that she’s willing to ept his faults alongside his virtues, not
assuming his innocence, but not condemning him
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either.
“Then it’s better that you know.” Linda reasons, “sooner rather thanter.”
“I’m really scared.” I confess, my voice so soft I can barely hear it. “I thought Ethan
broke my heart so badly I wouldn’t ever be vulnerable to him again. I didn’t think he could hurt me
anymore… but he can…
and I don’t want to go through that pain again. It almost killed me the first time.”
“I hate to break it to you babe, but you’re already in pain.” Linda says smoothly, patting my feet just as
another spasm
grips my insides. “So you can be in this pain alone, or you can be brave and give Ethan a second
chance.”
“But what if it goes wrong again, what if he tries to steal the pups from me, or lock me away?” I worry.
“Then you know I’ll be there to help set you free.” Linda offers, “but I truly don’t think it wille to that,
Jane. And more importantly – this isn’t like you. You might be an omega, but you’ve always had the spirit
of an alpha she-wolf. Lying around crying and hiding from the world because you got burned once, years
ago –
is something a coward does, not my
friend.”
“Yeah,” I breathe, remembering how different things used to be. “It was a lot easier to be fearless before I
lost my
freedom and dignity… not to mention before I had pups. Honestly Linda, they make you so soft.”
—
“I don’t know why parents say that.” Linda replies, sounding wistful. “That kind of love is a superpower –
ordinary
Moms lift cars off of their babies; normal
parents pull off miracles to protect their kids every day. You weren’t soft before you had them – you just
lost your confidence, and you aren’t soft now.”
“You may have a point.” I agree.
“Of course I do.” Linda quips, “You know I’m always right.”
“I think I need to go home.” I murmur, even before a fresh wave of agony, more
potent than any that hase before, assails me. It’s so overwhelming I can
barely get out my next words. “I need
Ethan – now.”