Book 13: Chapter 45


    Lucia regained a lot of her waking time recently. In the past, she couldnt sleep at night, so shed walk about lifelessly during the day as zombies did. She adapted to sleeping at dawn when she was young and trained herself to survive on minimal sleep. After getting married, though, she desperately tried to change her sleep hours, but she had yet to seed. She could only fall asleep veryte at night and would wake up before dawn. However, it wasnt so bad since she had kids to take care of. Like a spirit, Lucia wandered around in the Imperial Pce by herself at night so that she didnt disturb us. As a result, the guards would go on frantic searches.


    I exited the shrine and went to search for Lucia. She was very easy to find. She seemed to appear by my side whenever I wanted to see her. I found her sitting on therge tree, peering into the distance. I didnt know what she was looking at. Perhaps she was looking at the scenery of the small ind.


    Ah, Your Highness! eximed Lucia, noticing me.


    Lucia extended her hand toward me. She wanted to climb down, but I shook my head. I climbed the tree to sit next to her. She watched me with a smile. Her eyes glittered in heart-warming way underneath the moonlight. She grabbed hold of my hand with a smile and leaned onto my shoulder. With a smile, she asked, Whats wrong, Your Highness? Itste now. If you dont sleep now, how are you going to be ready tomorrow? Arent we going to go and y the wyrm? We wont be able to kill it if youre not in shape, right?


    No, I was wondering if I should kill it or not.


    I checked out the scenery. Lots of lush trees grew closely together on the ind, thereby blocking out the hazy moonlight. The silver light of the moonlight reflected off the ocean surface in the distance. The light broke off as the water moved. The sound of the waves was rxing.


    Puzzled, Lucia tilted her head: Whats wrong, Your Highness? Why are you suddenly hesitating? Havent you nned this for a long time? Also, were ready, so why do you want to cancel the n now?


    No Its just that I suddenly felt that its not such a good idea for me to be putting us in danger for Yings sake when weve got children. I dont want Nona and Vera to be orphaned because of us, so Lucia, do you think we should continue? I said.


    Lucia didnt immediately respond. Instead, she gently hugged my arm, and then slightly shifted around. She then released me and lied down on my knee. She reached her hand out and gently touched my chin without saying anything for a long time. I looked at her without knowing what to say.


    Lucia softly giggled: I think it doesnt matter to me if you want to go. You keep thinking that well die, but cant we survive? Why wont we make it when we have Queen Vyvyan and me? Additionally, Your Highness, arent you always brave?


    I solemnly replied, I dont think that I can be brave anymore. Lucia, Im now your husband, and Nona and Veras father. If I risk my life again this time, Ill be failing in my duty as your husband and a father. If I must risk my life, it should be for all of you, and not for Ying, who I just met


    Lucias gaze was hard to read. She sped my face and, in a soft voice, responded, Dont you always do this? Dont you always risk your life for those who youve met and havent met? Thats the gentle and just man that you are. We never met Ying and Xia before; however theyre in their current state precisely because we came here. Therefore, I think the right thing to do is help them resolve the matter here, and then bring them home with us.


    I nodded then quietly asked, Well be putting ourselves at risk. What are Nona and Vera going to do? Arent we being irresponsible if we do this?


    Lucia suddenlyprehended what I was getting at, so sheughed in a soft voice: Your Highness, are you afraid now? Are you afraid of death now?


    I nodded: Uhm.


    Indeed, that was how I felt. I was afraid right now. Being afraid to risk ones neck is a bad habit, but I couldnt deny I was afraid of losing Lucia, wouldnt see Nona and Vera again and that their lives would change.


    I really didnt want to die. I once put my life on the line to chase after a horse carriage by myself in order to rescue Luna. I dared to attack the churchs castle, but I didnt dare to step onto the deck to take on the wyrm. I never knew fear no matter what I faced in the past until Nier mentioned family.


    Nier was right. I wanted to see my Nona, Vera, Daisy and Ling Yue. I still hadnt seen Ling Yues child. The huge fox was still waiting for my return. She wanted to see me when she gave birth. I couldnt afford to die.


    I discovered that I was choking on my words when I went to speak. I hugged Lucia tightly, and sobbed Im truly afraid.


    Lucia gently hugged me back without speaking. She gave me light strokes on my back, but kept silent for a long time.


    Your Highness This is the first time youve told me youre afraid Lucia whispered by my ear. She gently stroked my back and continued, Your Highness, I am now your wife, and also Nona and Veras mother, but Im also Lucia. That hasnt changed; youre still the same, too. Though youre now a father, a husband and a son, arent you still Troy Gdriel Rosvenor?


    Lucia released me then cupped my face in her hands. She looked into my eyes. I saw immense sorrow in her green eyes for the first time. She said, Your Highness, did my marriage be a burden to you? You were originally a fair, just and fearless soldier, but youre now afraid, because of our children and me. My husband, this year, you This is your first year as an adult Have you already be an ordinary man as my father is? My husband, Troy, youve only just matured. Dont look so scared as though youre an old man


    Lucia gently stroked my chin. She ran her hand across my stubble. I suddenly realised those who gave up their stance and only wanted to live for the sake of their family and everything around them, were middle-aged people who lost their sharp edge.


    Ive just turned eighteen. Troy has only just be an adult, yet hes already lost his sharp edge? I asked myself.


    No, I wasnt unhappy with my family No, I wasnt dissatisfied with Lucia, Nier or my moms I just didnt want to give up I just felt at my age shouldnt I be more hot blooded? Shouldnt I be a young man going wild at my age?


    I asked myself, Why am I afraid?


    Go for it, Your Highness Consider it your final brave act. Consider it something youre doing for yourself. Your Highness, you arent doing this for Ying and Xia but for you Go for yourself and your future