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AliNovel > Tales From the Terran Republic > Chapter 179: Caw and Karashel, Charlotte Gets Annoyed

Chapter 179: Caw and Karashel, Charlotte Gets Annoyed

    Chapter 179: Caw and Karashel, Charlotte Gets Annoyed


    “So what do we do now?” A squat scaly councilor asked.


    Karashel pulled up the Illuxit’s file.


    “Your decisions are, of course, your own,” she replied from the other side of her desk. “You have sessfully broken those outrageous supply agreements, which is huge. However, you are still bound by a number of agreements with your oppressor. What the party is rmending is that you use your leverage as the source of raw materials for their economy to force them to terminate any and all agreements with your people in exchange for a <em>short-term</em> agreement that gives them ess to your mining output so they can meet their own agreements and maintain their economy.”


    Karashel smiled.


    “From the simtions, we have run on your behalf,” she bubble purred, “It is highly likely you could force some exceedingly good terms. You could either elevate your position within the trade bloc you currently inhabit… <em>or</em> you could free yourself from it, which is what we would prefer.”


    “So we should free ourselves?”


    “You <em>should</em> do whatever is best for your people, Ilko,” Karashel replied, “What <em>we</em> want is what we want, not what is necessarily best for <em>you</em>. That being said, we can provide <em>incentives</em> for ying ball with us, and you can get in on the ground floor of what will be, in time, the dominant economic and political force in the Federation.”


    She slid a tablet over to the other councilor.


    “Part of the benefits of joining the Party will be ess to our team of legal experts who are very skilled in the arts of negotiation who will represent you, not us. You may find them useful in breaking free of your oppressors.”


    “How long do I have to remain in the party?” Ilko replied, narrowing his huge bulbous eyes suspiciously.


    “We aren’t colonialist scum, Ilko,” Karashel replied, “We aren’t setting up just another empire here. We want <em>partners</em>, not ves. There is nomitment. In fact, if you want to ‘use us,’ take advantage of our legal resources and then jump ship, that’s fine with us.”


    “Why?”


    “Because it breaks yet another chain holding down yet another people… and further weakens your oppressors, something that we might be able to useter.”


    Karashel squinched her eyes pleasantly.


    “And we are betting that once you see what we are about,” she chirped, “you will want to hang around! We’re fun!”


    Ilko took the tablet.


    “Forgive me,” he chuckled, “But I’m going to take this and <em>carefully</em> review it before signing.”


    Karashelughed. “What?” she bubble chuckled, “You don’t <em>trust</em> us?”


    “In one word,” Ilko replied with a wide toothy smile, “No.”


    Karashel burst out into giggles.


    “And that’s why we want you!” she eximed, “You’re smart!”


    “Let me through, you morons!” an angry voice screeched.


    “… And right on schedule...” Karashel sighed.


    “Who is that?”


    The door flew open, revealing an enraged Xx.


    “You!” Caw shouted, pointing at Counselor Ilko, “Out!”


    Ilko looked over at Karashel uncertainly.


    “Your species has very sensitive hearing,” Karashel chuckled, “You probably don’t want to be in the room in about ten seconds… And you have some documents to ‘carefully review’ anyhow.”


    “Yes,” Ilko said, puffing out his chest and looking directly at Caw, something he wouldn’t have dared to do before, “Our business is concluded, for now, councilor. We will speak again very soon.”


    “I hope so,” Karashel said, “Drop by the park sometime, regardless if you join up! It’s always a good time!”


    “Will do,” Ilko said as Caw’s feathers and crest extended to their full height. He left Karashel’s office in a shambling lope.


    <em>” You!”</em> Caw hissed angrily once Ilko shut the door behind him.


    “Me!” Karashel said brightly.


    ***


    Charlotte bustled happily behind the coffee counter serving her customers, over half of which were employees, and the majority of others being locals who were “just there for the coffee”.


    She growled happily, causing some people to jump.


    “That just means she’s happy!” one of the girls eximed.


    Charlotte directed her scanner towards one of several pots of water standing behind her.


    She took one and carefully poured it over a ssic basket filter filled with ground coffee, holding her scanner with one of her free limbs.


    “Temperature: 1095.45 Xme, Flow rate: 16 Pee per Dee...” she muttered as she scribbled strange runes with yet another limb on a strange-looking tablet sitting on the floor. “Particte size, grind setting ‘3’ on coffee grinder ‘B’...”


    “She writes with her butt!” Neeph eximed with delight.


    “Actually,” Charlotte buzzed with amusement, “I’m writing with one of what you would call mybia.”


    “Awesome!” Neeph howled as the counter burst out withughter.


    Charlotte suppressed a “grin” (they weren’t ready for one of those just yet).


    They wereughing!… And it was quite likely the right sort ofughter!


    “What are you writing?” Neeph asked as she peered over the counter at Charlotte’s “bits”.


    “I’m conducting a bit of casual research on the effects of solvent temperature and mass flow rate on the caffeine extraction yield and overall ptability of the resultant fluid known as ‘coffee’.”


    “All that for coffee?”


    “Oh yes!” Charlotte enthused, “This is quite a challenging product. While caffeine is the active substance and extraction thereof is a priority, the overall ptability is also nearly equally as important and depends on a great number of otherpounds! From general customer feedback, I hope to be able to corrte which of these otherpounds are desirable and which ones are not. With that information, my goal is to then be able to separate the desiredpounds from the undesired ones, making a superior product tailored for the species consuming it!”


    “Wow!” Neeph eximed.


    Charlotte carefully analyzed the coffee as if she was in ab, her “butt” scribbling furiously.


    She extracted a small sample using a tinydle made of what appeared to be a Nope spine (because it was).


    She took a sip and scribbled more.


    “Jesus, Charlotte,” a humanughed, “I just wanted a fucking cup of coffee, not a goddamnb experiment! Pour it already!”


    Charlotte issued a sound designed to be a ugh” and poured the human a cup.


    “So?” Charlotte asked, intentionally drawing entirely too close to the man, who she noted was already not flinching.


    Her butt scribbled a quick note.


    “… Not bad!” he replied.


    “Was it better or worse than thest cup you received?”


    “Fuck, I don’t know!” the manughed, “That was yesterday.”


    Charlotte sighed with frustration and butt scribbled a line. Humans were vexing like that. It was probably because they killed all of the vors of their food by cooking it. She shouldn’t expect creatures, no matter how intelligent, who boil all of their food into slop (no, seriously! They actually <em>boil</em> some of it!) to have anything close to a pte.


    “… It’s… good?” the human added. “I mean, I <em>like</em> it. Does that help?”


    “Not in the slightest!” Charlotte replied, identally letting out a real chuckle that made the customers twitch. “But thank you just the same!”


    “They’re customers, notb rats!” Sam called out as he arrived with arge bag of coffee beans slung over his shoulder.


    “Customers,b rats...” Charlotte replied as she started the espresso machine, “I fail to see the difference.”


    “Ha!” the human customerughed as he enjoyed his coffee.


    “Try this!” Charlotte eximed as she poured Sam a small cup.


    “Not another one!” Sam moaned. “My teeth are rattling already!”


    “You want me to get better, don’t you?”


    Sam sighed as he took the cup and sipped it.


    “It tastes <em>exactly</em> like thest one… and the one before that!” he replied.


    Charlotte’s ass took yet more notes.


    ***


    “So, who are you supposed to be?” Caw hissed angrily, “Lenin, Stalin?…. <em>Hitler?”</em>


    “I <em>am</em> exactly who I am supposed to be,” Karashel replied,” <em>Karashel</em>, of the <em>Baleel</em>. Remember the name.”


    “Oh, I won’t forget it… <em>ever!”</em> Caw eximed, “Do you have any idea what you have done?”


    “Protected my people,” Karashel replied.


    “Bymitting <em>treason</em> and <em>murder?</em>”


    “I see you have been talking with Councilor Veeka,” Karashel smirked. “Very excitable, isn’t she?”


    “So you don’t deny it?!?”


    “What I am not doing,” Karashel replied, “Is dignifying it with a reply. She is just another Colonialist who feels threatened by something that is, quite honestly, none of her business.”


    Karashel smirked.


    “And I have no idea why she is so concerned,” Karashel added, “Her people have colonized and domesticated their subjects so thoroughly that they actually believe that Veeka’s people are their <em>friends</em> if you can believe it. Her little empire is under no threat from us.”


    “Did you make a deal with the Forsaken?” Caw demanded.


    “Caw,” Karashel replied with a sigh, “What is a stupid question, the Xxian answer, please?”


    <em>One that only has one answer...</em> Caw thought with a scowl.


    “ording to <em>you,”</em> Karashel smiled, “I am under no obligation to waste my breath answering a stupid question.”


    <em>And betrays nothing no matter how good the concealed scanner I have is,</em> Caw thought.


    Karashel nced at her screen and smiled. Caw was wearing a wire. Disappointing but not unexpected.


    “You know, Caw,” Karashel smiled, “We Baleel might be stupid, but even we can buy sensors. So you are a flunky for the Judiciary now?”


    “I am NOT a—“


    “You are wearing a Federation micro transmitter of the type usually used byw enforcement when they are trying to be sneaky,” Karashel replied.


    <em>How does she know that?!?</em> Caw thought in rm. These things were supposed to be <em>undetectable!</em>


    “If this was for your personal edification or a matter of interest for the Xx,” she continued, “Then you would be using Xxian hardware, not substandard Federation garbage, not that it would matter. My sensors are <em>imperial</em>, the very best money can buy, the ones they designed to fight the Terrans.”


    Karashel undted from behind her desk.


    “Good thing for you I’m not some murderous monster,” Karashel sighed, “Just a very disappointed and hurt Baleel. How could you?”


    “You have to be stopped, Karashel.”


    “Oh, I don’t mean that,” Karashel chuckled, “I mean, how could you underestimate me so badly. A Federation wire?… <em>Seriously?”</em>


    She looked up at him with big, moist eyes.


    “Dude...” she shook her anterior end, “dude… That’s just… <em>sloppy.”</em>


    Caw just stood there, frozen in ce. She had done it again! She was right. She would have anticipated this.


    What else had she anticipated?


    “So the mighty Xx,” Karashel snorted, “are now in league with the Federation, after all, just another colonial power more interested in the status quo than the actual welfare of anyone other than themselves.”


    “That is NOT true!” Caw screeched.


    “Isn’t it?” Karashel asked. “Why else would youe running when the Federation blew their favorite dog whistle? You are no different than the Kaarst.”


    <em>“How dare you?!?”</em> Caw screeched. “That’s fine talking from a <em>fuckingmunist</em>!!! Have you learned <em>nothing?!?</em> You are a threat to <em>billions</em> of lives, entire systems!!! I’ve reviewed your ‘contract’! ‘By any means necessary’?!? Are you fucking kidding me?!? After everything I tried to teach you?!? Of course, the Federation is concerned, and of course, they reached out to me! Karashel, you and this ‘party’ of yours are a threat to the entire Federation!”


    “Because we espousemunalism, notmunism, by the way, and embrace the goal of achieving post scarcity?”


    “That’s not what you are, and you fucking know it!!!” Caw squawked, jumping up and down. “You are following in the footsteps of Stalin and Hitler, and billions will die!”


    “I honestly fail to see how the Federation would be concerned with the lives and welfare of a few systems.”


    “Of course they are!!!” Caw shouted, “And it’s more than just a few systems, and you know it! Every day more fools flock to you, and the poison <em>you know you are spreading!</em>”


    Karashel smiled. She had him. She had them all. Good old Caw. She could always count on him.


    “Thank you, Caw,” she said with a smile.


    “For what?”


    “For demonstrating that the Federation’s real interest in me and their joke of an investigation is motivated primarily by ideology, not any real criminal suspicions.”


    “What?”


    “Free to determine one’s own path,” Karashel said with that same soulless smile, “It’s in the Federation charter, one of the <em>only</em> things in it of any real value. That and the statement that the Federation will <em>in no way</em> obstruct a member in the development of their civilization <em>as they define it.</em> It’s in the hygienic wipe of a charter, and it <em>is</em> binding.”


    Caw stood there, stunned.


    “I already have recorded statements by the chief counsel condemning our ideology clearly linked to his statements that he will stop us, and now even the ‘enlightened’ Xx are doing the same to us, solely because they do not like the particr path we are charting.”


    Karashel advanced upon him.


    “This investigation is <em>dead</em>,” she smiled, “And both the Judiciary <em>and</em> its chief counsel will be hit withwsuits before the end of the business day, as well as Veeka and anyone else in collusion with them. This is a vition of one of the <em>core principles</em> of the Federation and a direct attack upon our sovereignty as a species. With this, we can subpoena any and all documents and correspondence, public and private, concerning this issue. I suspect the discovery process will be most enlightening… and <em>very</em> public.”


    Karashel bubble giggled.


    “And to think our new problem is collecting the credits fast enough!” sheughed. “Our experts have been examining the issue, and do you know that this vition of the founding charter is sufficient for us to legally withdraw from the Federation? Not that we are nning on doing that at the moment, of course...”


    Karashel oozed up to him, rising to almost look him in the eye.


    <em>“We aren’t big enough yet,”</em> she whispered,” <em>But we will be...”</em>


    Caw looked at her in horror. What the hell was she?


    “You won’t seed,” Caw said quietly, “We will stop you… I will stop you...”


    “You will try,” Karashel replied, “But… What are you stopping, exactly? Not once have you asked me what it is that I am <em>actually</em> trying to achieve, not <em>once</em>. You just jumped to some twisted conclusion that I am some sort of <em>monster</em> and then lifted your tail feathers for the <em>fucking Federation!</em>… Go home, Caw. Go home and think about what you just did. As of now, neither the Xx nor you are included in any suits orints. Please keep it that way, for me, please.”


    “Our...” Caw said in a strangled voice, “And... and all agreements between the Baleel and us are <em>done!</em>” he gasped, “We will NOT assist you in bing whatever it is that you are bing!”


    “And you <em>still</em> haven’t even <em>attempted</em> to determine what that is,” Karashel replied, “So much for your devotion to post scarcity.”


    “You aren’t seeking post scarcity!” Caw screeched.


    “Caw… sweetie bean…” Karashel giggled, “We <em>already have it</em>! No Baleel is going to want for anything ever again!”


    She “rapidly” (for a Baleel) spun in a circle, “You want to ‘name me’ by a (scoff) <em>human</em> name?”


    She undted up to him.


    “Then get it right,” she bubble hissed, “I’m not Hitler. I’m not Stalin...”


    She threw her head back.


    “I’m <em>fucking King Leopold, baby!!!”</em> she yelled, “I’m the motherfucking builder king! I am going to take and take and take and fucking… <em>take!</em>… And with it, I am going to build a fucking Baleean <em>paradise!”</em>


    Sheughed.


    “We don’t have to ‘develop’ post scarcity!” she giggled, “We can fucking <em>take</em> it!”


    “You...” Caw gasped… “You <em>monster!</em>”


    “Themittee and the party?” she replied, “They are going to build the same, and we will be the shining examples of what <em>can be done</em>… and people… they do love a winner! Baleean post scarcity will be the dream, a dream that I can <em>sell!</em> What we <em>will</em> achieve <em>with or without you</em> will <em>work</em>. There are <em>thousands</em> of people, and dozens of AI’s already ironing out the details! We will develop <em>absolute</em> self-sufficiency, and then we will <em>give</em> it to <em>anyone who wants it</em>!”


    She smiled evilly.


    “And on that day,” she purred, “The Federation <em>dies</em>. Nobody will <em>have</em> to sign a trade agreement because nobody will <em>need</em> them. <em>We</em> will issue <em>unlimited licenses</em> and <em>unlocked</em> capital equipment and technology. The technology will be absolutely free, and any equipment or ships will be <em>sold</em> free and clear, not leased or licensed. We won’t care about the profits because <em>we won’t need them!”</em>


    “And what about the people, the lives you destroy in the process?” Caw demanded.


    “You mean the people and the lives that tried to drive us into management?” Karashel snickered, “Those lives? The ones that were about to enve our entire race?”


    Caw flinched as he looked into Karashel’s ck, empty eyes.


    “We were enved once before, you know,” she smiled, “It was so long ago that the details have been lost to history and are only myths and legends that some of us still worship. You fancy yourself a historian. Did you ever bother to spend even an hour studying <em>my race</em>, or were we beneath your concern?”


    Caw just looked at her.


    “I see I asked a stupid question, didn’t I?” Karashelughed. “Look it up sometime. You will see <em>exactly</em> how we handled ourst oppressors. Fortunately for the Gvorta and the rest, not every member of themittee is Baleean, and even more fortunately, I am <em>not</em> a monster. They will be just fine, Caw. In a few years, you will realize how foolishly rmist you are being right now. I am not going to kill billions of people out of greed or a desire for revenge. I’m not a <em>human</em>… or an Xx since you seem to only see that as the only option.”


    Caw hissed.


    “I swear <em>on the blood of my race</em> I will stop you! We will stop you!”


    “Jellybean,” Karashelughed, “You can all stop me <em>right now</em>. You don’t need to prove treason and murder or some other bullshit backstabbing maneuver. All they have to do is <em>let go</em>, just a little. They just have to toss out the contract and not even all of it. They actually don’t even need to toss any of it out. Just a few <em>simple</em> regtions and limits, and they can dump a whole bucketful of salt right on my head. You want to stop me? Go into the Parliamentary chamber and get the ball rolling that says that a decillion credits is just in stupid by starting legition that limits shit like that. Have aw passed that invalidates just a few uses, and the ‘Baleean Contract’ unravels, and we have to go back to being simple peasant farmers overnight.”


    Karashel giggled


    “Go ahead,” she snorted, “Give it a try. Did I ever tell you about grabbit fishing back home? Grabbits are this little crab that lives in brackish water, and they are <em>delicious</em>. They are so easy to catch, too! You just tie a string to a bit of bait and toss it where you think grabbits might be. They run to the bait and start stuffing their little crabby faces. Then, a little whileter, you pull up the bait.”


    Karashel chuckled.


    “The grabbits can’t stand the thought of losing their prize, so theytch on and refuse to let go, even as you pull the bait out of the water. At any time, the grabbit can escape. It just has to let go… but it doesn’t. It just grips tighter even as you pull it out of the water. The funny thing is that even as you are putting the grabbit into your mouth, their ws are still reaching toward the bait that doomed them. Do you see where I’m going here? Hopefully, that’s a stupid question too.”


    Karashel smiled a bit sadly.


    “We pose no inherent threat to the Federation,” she said, “They just have to let go a <em>little bit.</em> You want to stop us, Caw? Get them to let go. If they do that, themittee and the party turn into just another lunch club overnight.”


    Caw bowed his head. She was right. About everything, including him not bothering to ask her a single thing about what she <em>really</em> has nned. And now he had dered himself a foe and lost any chance to find out.


    “There is another way to stop us, Caw,” she said with an eye squinch. “You can elevate another race to post scarcity <em>before</em> we pull it off. Do that, and the dream I will sell bes your reality, and everyone, even us, will fall in line.”


    “Nobody is interested in ‘true post scarcity’,” Caw replied, his crest deting, “not even you, it seems.”


    “Bullshit,” Karashel smiled. “Want to make one of those billion credit bets? I can <em>personally</em> cover it. I can fill your office and have a line down the fucking hall right now, and many of them can now free themselves of the agreements that made it impossible before… If you are actually interested in that instead of smug self-superiority.”


    She paused, and her eyes lit up.


    “In fact,” she said as she made a realization, “I know a <em>perfect</em> candidate! They are technologicallypetent andpletely free of any obligations save to the Baleel, and we will not only ‘release’ them but continue to support them during their development. Why didn’t I think of this before now! Shit, Caw! You want to do this? I’ll make it happen! No tricks. No bullshit. I <em>am</em> serious about post scarcity, and I’m willing to put my money where my mouth is, unlike yourself.”


    She excitedly undted over to her desk.


    “What do you say?” Karashel asked, her eyes shining. “Are you <em>serious</em> about showing a race who actually <em>is</em> what you thought we were the way, or are you aplete and total piece of shit?”


    Caw blinked, a bit overwhelmed.


    “I… I would like to meet them,” he said after a few moments. “<em>If</em> they are what you say they are, we would like very much to start that conversation.”


    “I was hoping you would say that!” Karashel beamed.


    She fiddled with her touchscreen for a few moments.


    “Yes, Chairman?” a nervous voice yelped, causing Caw to bristle.


    “Una,” Karashel bubblepurred. “You <em>really</em> want toe to my office immediately. I have the deal of the fucking millennia lined up for you and your people!”


    “Yes, Chairman!” Una replied and hung up.


    “You’ll like Una!” Karashel eximed happily, “She’s a lovely person and entirely too ‘good’ to be part of the party. Her people are too. Do your homework and look up the Javv. Right now, the only trade agreements they have are with us, and I will happily terminate all agreements with no penalty save for their food which we will honor <em>at the current rates</em> indefinitely. It’s not the ‘Baleean Contract,’ by the way. It’s quite the ‘inside deal’ for a fellow party member, which they do not have to remain. You can eliminate one of my more important party members AND put yourself in directpetition with us, the best way to actually ‘stop’ any ‘evil ns’ that I have.”


    Karashel wiggled her tendrils happily!


    “I’m so excited by this!” she giggled with absolute and pure honesty.


    ***


    At the Drop of Oil, the bustle of the day had ebbed, and the bustle of the evening was yet to start.


    Charlotte had finished cleaning up and preparing the coffee bar for the evening and was looking forward to Shareena, their frence bartender, to arrive with her mobile, self-contained bar.


    The concept of food trucks and other mobile vendors intrigued Charlotte to no end.


    She was also eager to learn mixology and hoped that Shareena would let her help out.


    The Nope could metabolize alcohol but were a bit too good at it. Its intoxicant effects were minimal at best. They did have alcoholic beverages and substances, but the alcohol was just part of the fermentation process they used and was not the primary focus of the process aside from vor. They also had distilled spirits, but these were utilitarian and were only used as solvents, fuel, and the like. You could get a mild “buzz” off of them if you drank enough, but only underssmen did stupid stuff like that.


    Having a free moment, she broke out a Terran tablet and gingerly turned it on, pulling up a calculus tutorial.


    Sipping a cup of coffee (prepared her way), she started reviewing it.


    She grumbled as she did so. In order to pass “The Test” she had to show her work (as well as she should!).


    That meant doing it ‘their way’ (or the Imperial way)…


    And she was <em>not</em> a fan. She tried to remain “open jawed” about the whole thing reminding herself that she was set in her ways and resistant to new ideas. Perhaps even something new could be gained from their methods…


    But she really doubted it. By the hunt, this was <em>terrible</em>! It was like eating a grhurg by shoving it up your rectum…


    Which, ording to her “research”, was totally a thing humans allegedly did! (although none of her new friends had a first-hand ount… thank the blood gods…)


    Her quaternary eyes watched Neeph scurry up.


    Neeph seemed to like her far more than the others. She said that she looked “cool.” But, then again, Neeph was a pretty bizarre-looking individual herself, kind of like a furry millipede with arms for antennae.


    How she actually ‘plied her trade’ was as of yet unknown. Charlotte hadn’t yet developed the nerve to ask.


    “Whatcha doin’?” Neeph asked, crawling partway onto the bar as was her habit and peering down at Charlotte’s tablet.


    “Reviewing some basic math,” Charlotte replied. “I’m trying to wrap my mouth around the Terran way of doing it so I can take the test.”


    Neeph recoiled as if struck.


    “I tried taking the test...” she said sadly. “It was <em>awful!</em>”


    Charlotte buzzed sympathetically. It was perhaps still a bit early to form any firm conclusions, but the educational standards for some species, especially those from the Federation, seemed rather appalling.


    “I hear it can be ratherprehensive,” Charlotte replied. “But at least the mathematics doesn’t get too much more advanced than this. I would lose my spines if I had to do <em>everything</em> their way. It’s as ugly as they are!”


    “I know, right?” Neeph giggled, “I try not to say anything, but boy are they funny looking!… Nice, though... most of them...”


    Neeph looked down at the tablet.


    “That’s <em>math?!?”</em> she eximed in horror.


    “The Terrans seem to think so,” Charlotte replied derisively. “I mean, it’s not wrong, not by any means, but… By the dripping w…”


    “I’m pretty good at math!” Neeph replied, “I know my multiplication tables all the way to ten!… but…”


    She looked downcast.


    “That wasn’t enough. They asked things I had never even heard of before, and suddenly there were these letters everywhere, and they told me to find the ‘X’… and I was like ‘it’s right there!’...”


    Charlotte giggled. That was a favorite joke among early students.


    Neeph looked hurt.


    “Oh no!” Charlotte eximed, almost reaching for Neeph, “I wasn’tughing at you! That’s just a favorite joke among students where Ie from! It reminded me of home and made me happy!”


    “The Terransughed at me too, but it wasn’t niceughing.”


    “We have a saying where Ie from,” Charlotte said firmly, “‘If the only thing you can be proud of is your education, return to your books.’ It means that if you find that sort of ‘superiority’ solely because you know something that someone else does not, you have nothing else to be proud of… Did they not offer to show you how to actually find that ‘X’?”


    Neeph shook her head.


    Charlotte gasped in outrage.


    “Did they not point you towards a school or educational resource?”


    “No,” Neeph replied. “They just said that I was done. When I asked if I passed...”


    Neeph made a distressed little noise and then jumped a full meter and a half into the air at the horrifying howl Charlotte belted out.


    “Outrageous!” she yelled, “Uneptable! Uncouth! Vile! Miserable! Loathsome!” she continued.


    “I’m sorry!” Neeph cried as she fled.


    Unable to contain herself, Charlotte sprung over twelve meters,nding in front of Neeph.


    “No!” Charlotte yelled, “Not you! You did everything right!” she continued as Neeph froze in her tracks. “The humans! They are the awful ones! I can’t <em>believe</em> they would do that to you… to anyone… When someone wanders in from the wild… facing the hardships of that journey… and… and… stumbles out of the darkness into the light… You <em>wee</em> them!… If they seek knowledge and kinship of their kind… You… You… They <emughed at you!!!</em> Theyughed at your meless ignorance!!! A lost soul thrown out of the light... by <em>conceit!!!”</em>


    Charlotte, very gently, reached out andid a leg on Neeph.


    “A great disservice was done to you, Neeph… I suspect to all of you...”


    She looked at Neeph.


    “Do you want to know how to find that ‘X’?”


    Neeph nodded.


    “Then you <em>shall,”</em> Charlotte said, her tiny but very acute eyes ame.


    Charlotte drew herself to her full, terrifying height.


    “You, who has wandered alone in darkness, who has strove and fought, lifetime after lifetime… You who has followed our trail and emerged into the light… Do you have a name?”


    “You know my name,” Neeph replied, “It’s Neeph!”


    “What is your <em>real</em> name?”


    “Xkk’&neeph*-Kxx#@t...” Neeph squeaked.


    “Do you seek knowledge and fellowship? Do you forsake your ignorance and your savagery and embrace the light of schrship, fraternity, and civilization?”


    “Does that mean I want to be smart like you?”


    <em>“It does,”</em> Charlotte whispered with a gentle smile that would send many to therapy.


    “Yes!”


    “Then we, the University of the Ice Wall, Fellowship of the Pinnacle Star, the Northward Bastion, and The Sorority of the Frost Huntress, wee you, Neeph. You can share our springs, join our hunts, and feast upon our knowledge. We wee you, sister. May your kills be many, and may the light we give you shine upon those who follow your trail as you follow ours.”


    “Do I have to kill anybody?”


    “No, dear,” Charlotte giggled, “It’s just tradition. You don’t have to kill anything you don’t want to.”


    “Oh good!”


    “(ahem)… Young sister, survivor, victor, awaken and join us! Join the light. Join the Fellowship. You shall never wander alone again!… Ande with me, my dear little sister… Let’s go hunt down and <em>murder</em> that ‘X’… And theirid ‘test’… and wipe the smug superiority right off these damn Terran’s faces! I am here toy a trail, and a trail I shally...”


    She grinned an <em>actual grin</em> causing Neeph to squeak in a mixture of fear and awe.


    <em>“Wee to the swarm!”</em>
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