ã€ŠTales From the Terran Republicã€‹


 Chapter 1: Army Surplus

    Chapter 1: Army Surplus

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al shifted nervously, hopping from one foot to the other. The human next to him smiled as she leaned against the hull of the Z¡¯uush vessel.

    ¡°Rx, big T. You are going to pop out one of your eyes.¡± She chuckled as she took a deep drag on her vaporizer and exhaled, blowing vapor rings.

    ¡°A state of rxation is impossible,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said miserably. ¡°I am unused to criminal endeavor. We aren¡¯t equipped for crime, unlike you humans.¡±

    ¡°And yet here you are.¡±

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al looked around nervously and checked his sensors.

    Sheughed at him.

    ¡°Jeezus, T.," she smirked, "We are on a rock in the middle of nowhere. There isn¡¯t anyone or anything in the whole system.¡±

    ¡°Maybe we were followed.¡±

    She rolled her eyes.

    ¡°We weren¡¯t followed. I checked. It¡¯s an empty goddamn system. It¡¯s not like we could miss them.¡±

    ¡°They could be cloaked.¡±

    ¡°T, if a cloaked Federation warship were tailing us, they would have gotten us by now.¡±

    ¡°They could be waiting for the seller.¡±

    ¡°Yep. They could very well be. We aremitting a crime, after all. Fun, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al started gulping air anxiously.

    ¡°Oh, by the creators, this was a bad idea.¡±

    ¡°Toote to worry about that now." She chuckled. "Besides, isn¡¯t a just cause like yours worth a little risk? If you can¡¯t handle this, how the hell can you expect to handle the merchandise once you get it?¡±

    The sensor started shing, and T¡¯sunk¡¯al almost fainted. She pulled out amunicator.

    ¡°ck Dragon, that you?¡±

    ¡°Yep. How¡¯s it going, She?¡±

    ¡°Pretty good. The Z''uush is about to shit himself again, but other than that, we''re golden.¡±

    ¡°Great. We are sending a drop-ship now.¡± She turned to T¡¯sunk¡¯al.

    ¡°See? You worry too much.¡±

    An angr ck ship came into view, and T¡¯sunk¡¯al started in rm.

    ¡°That¡¯s a Raven!¡± Sheughed at him.

    ¡°Yep. Good call. That is indeed a Raven ss assaultnder. We use a lot of stuff from the great war. We built so many warships that we haven¡¯t really had to build new civilian ones. You will see battleships being used as tankers if you get closer to Sol.¡±

    ¡°So you just disarmed your warships?¡±

    ¡°Disarmed¡­ You are just adorable, you know that?¡±

    The Ravennded with the silence for which they were known. The hatch opened, and the biggest human T¡¯sunk¡¯al had ever seen stepped out. She trotted up, and the two humans performed some sort of body squeezing that looked affectionate. The big human looked over at T¡¯sunk¡¯al.

    ¡°That the buyer?¡±

    ¡°Yep. This is T. T, this is Johnny.¡±

    ¡°It is an honor to meet you, Mister Johnny.¡±

    ¡°You got the money?¡±

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al was startled by the abruptness, but he reminded himself that he was dealing with humans and with the criminal element at that. He nodded and produced a small data crystal. Johnny took the crystal, scanned it, and whistled.

    ¡°It is an honor to meet you too,¡± he replied and then headed towards the open hatch of thender beckoning for them to follow.

    ¡°I have a wide selection of goods, and I think you will be quite pleased,¡± he said with a smile.

    Johnny opened a crate. Inside were rows of automatic rifles. He picked one up and tossed it towards T¡¯sunk¡¯al.

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al grabbed at it, almost letting it fall to the deck.

    ¡°What you have there is the Terran ssic, the AK-47. These have been in use for over a thousand years, and there is a reason. Your physiology is close enough to ours that you should be able to use them with no modification. Thirty-round magazine, reliable,pletely chemically powered and will tear right through a personal deflector. They won¡¯t show up on sensors, at least at first. We also have armor-piercing rounds specially designed for standardbat armor. Right through the screen, then right through the vest.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit! Are these relics?¡± She asked as she caressed one fondly.

    ¡°You think I would be selling relics to a non-human? These are old stock from early Independence War production runs on Terra. That is why they have the wooden stocks. We were running low on polymers there for a couple of years.¡±

    ¡°Can I have one?¡± Johnny tossed her an AK, and she squealed in delight. Johnny grinned over at a stunned T¡¯sunk¡¯al and opened another crate.

    ¡°These are Model 1911 .45 ACP semi-automatic pistols. The high mass and low-velocity rounds will cut right through deflector belts. The recoil might be a little heavy for a Z¡¯uush, but you should be able to handle them with practice."

    Johnny opened case after case of human weaponry showing off shotguns, rockets, and grenades.

    ¡°All of these goodies arepletely chemically powered as requested, and all of them are proven effective against Federation, Imperial, and Collective forces,¡± Johnny said proudly.

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al gulped anxiously as he looked at the list that his leader gave him. He started huping.

    ¡°And¡­ and about the¡­.¡± The hups got worse, cutting off his ability to speak. She and Johnny grinned impishly.

    ¡°Oh, yes¡­¡± He went to the back and rolled out a trolley with six long ck polymer cases with bright yellow markings. He opened one.

    ¡°Here they are," he proudly announced, "Type-seven tactical nuclear weapons. They are fission-fusion hybrid explosives. I am sure you are familiar with these babies from the war.¡±

    More speechless hups.

    ¡°These are just the warheads, mind you," Johnny continued, "You will have to find a way to get them where you want them to go boom.¡±

    She sighed nostalgically as she ran her fingers along one of the cases. She looked up at T¡¯sunk¡¯al with misty eyes. ¡°Oh, you will <em>like</em> these.¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al was about to pass out.

    The transaction went smoothly, and several more Ravensnded loaded with arms. She inventoried the goods and checked off the shipments. That was actually T¡¯sunk¡¯al¡¯s responsibility, but he needed a little break and was sitting on a crate of AK-47¡¯s breathing heavily into a respirator.

    ¡°Ok, T. You are all set. Everything is bought and paid for. Schematics, tutorials, and the like are on this.¡± She said as she handed him a data crystal. ¡°Hey, Johnny, can I hitch a ride with you?¡±

    ¡°Sure thing. Hop on,¡± Johnny replied.

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al was confused.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t continuing to travel with me?¡± he asked.

    ¡°On a ship full of illegal arms including NUCLEAR WEAPONS that is heading through Federation space? Are you out of your fucking mind? Later, tater.¡±

    She waved as the Raven¡¯s hatch closed, leaving a desperately gasping and huping T¡¯sunk¡¯al holding his head in despair.

    ¡°I hate humans.¡± He mumbled between hups.

 Chapter 2: Damage Control

    Chapter 2: Damage Control

    Ambassador Jon Wintersmith sipped coffee as he watched his holo-monitor. Scenes from the Z¡¯uush civil war were ying on just about every Federation news channel. Blown apart troop transports, shredded habitation pods, crashednding craft, and of course, pixted dead Federation peacekeepers had been ying damn near 24 hours a day for the past few days.

    He smiled. It was the standard Federation clusterfuck. Now the Z¡¯uush government forces screwing the pooch he could understand, but the Federation should have learned by now. He turned to an uncensored Federation government feed to watch actualbat footage and nodded approvingly. The Z¡¯uush were pretty damn good shots. He had no idea who supplied them, but they had clearly bought the good stuff. They were using front-line hardware, especially those armor-piercing rounds. Those had to bete generation stuff, at least mark twelves from the looks of the carnage.

    The feed suddenly shifted to a static-filled picture of a mushroom cloud rising in the distance. Jon¡¯s smile faded. Who the fuck sold them nukes? One political incidenting right up. He pulled out an edible from the desk drawer and consumed it, savoring every morsel. Grandma made the best brownies. Another mushroom cloud popped up, then another. Fuck. He picked up the analog telephone on his desk and called his secretary.

    ¡°Good morning, sir. Have you been watching the feeds?¡± His Kalesh secretary lisped with undisguised amusement.

    ¡°Yes, I have. Get me in touch with Terran intelligence.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve already started the process.¡± Jon smiled again. Good ol¡¯ Toby. Annoyingly efficient as always. A few minutester, his phone rang.

    ¡°Hey Jon, This is Helen.¡±

    ¡°Helen, hi. The Z¡¯uush just used nukes. Is there something you need to tell me?¡±

    ¡°They didn¡¯t get them from us if that is what you are asking.¡±

    ¡°Any ideas?¡±

    ¡°Nothing confirmed. We do know that She Donovan was recently seen in thepany of an unknown Z¡¯uush, though,¡± Helen replied.

    Jon groaned.

    ¡°Can we just arrest her already?¡±

    ¡°For what, having lunch? We don¡¯t have shit on her.¡±

    ¡°We never have shit on her. You guys are intelligence, right? Can¡¯t you just¡­ make the problem go away?¡±

    ¡°Since the shooting stopped, we are avoiding ¡®extralegal¡¯ solutions, especially after that fiasco on Io. The best I can do is list her as ¡®wanted for questioning concerning matters of Republic security category 1¡¯, but she has had that dubious honor for awhile.¡±

    ¡°Ambassador, Councilor K-shal-ta is here wishing to speak to you urgently,¡± Toby said over the inte.

    ¡°I bet he does. Helen, I gotta do damage control over here.¡± Helen cut off themunication.

    ¡°Toby, let the honorable Councilor in and make some kreen tea.¡±

    ¡°Will do, boss. The honorable Councilor prefers peshka. I¡¯ll brew that instead.¡±

    ¡°I DO NOT DESIRE REFRESHMENT! I REQUIRE ANSWERS!¡± K-shal-ta screamed loudly as he stormed in, his crests fully engorged and pulsing. Jon rose and bowed politely.

    ¡°Councilor, to what do I owe the honor of your presence?¡± Jon said with amused courtesy. The sight of an enraged Pol-ka is something that always tickled him. Pissing them off was sort of a hobby of his. The edible was starting to kick in, and he had to keep himself from giggling.

    ¡°YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY I AM HERE!¡±

    ¡°Calm down, councilor. Anger does not facilitate constructivemunication.¡± Jonughed. K-shal-ta used that exact same line on him once, and he loved rubbing his face in it every single time he could. K-shal-ta became silent, shaking with rage. ¡°Let¡¯s try using our grown-up inside voices. Now let¡¯s try this again. To what do I owe the honor of your presence?¡±

    ¡°As¡­ you¡­ are¡­ no doubt already aware¡­ Terranbat arms... and fusion explosives... have been used by Z¡¯uush... insurgents in their... illegal insurrection.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, the Z¡¯uush dragoons and your peacekeepers are getting their asses handed to them by some miners. I¡¯ve been watching the feeds. They are pretty good.¡±

    ¡°YOU ADMIRE THEM!?!¡±

    ¡°Now, now¡­ inside voices, please.¡± Jon giggled despite his best efforts. A muppet with intable peckers popping out of his head was just too much. ¡°To answer the question that is odds are the reason for gracing me with your most august personage is no. No, we did not supply the rebels, and no, we do not know who did. The next answer is yes. Yes, we are looking for them, and yes, we are taking this seriously.¡±

    Jon gave K-shal-ta a pleasant, lightly stoned smile. This was a fantastic batch of brownies. He made a mental note to call grandma.

    K-shal-ta quivered with rage. He hated Terrans with a burning passion. Every time he saw one, he immediately remembered slithering over the dead and wing his way past the living as he surged towards an escape pod in a blind panic with Terran marines right behind him calmly ughtering their way through the station. That was horrible, but what truly tightly bound hatred to his heart was the short message burned into the hull of his pod as he made good his escape.

    ¡°Your life has been spared by the Terran Republic.¡±

    He blinked hard, trying to swallow the hate and rage and remain professional. The war was over, and he had to try to move on, but each and every time he saw a Terran, it all came back, and Jon was perhaps the worst. Most species chose their most polite, most diplomatic, most deferential individuals to be ambassadors to the Federation but the Terrans¡­ They sent Jon.

    To use a human term, Jon was an asshole.

    K-shal-ta, in his studies of the human¡¯snguage, had always struggled with human idioms, ng, and obscenity but the word ¡°asshole¡± he understood. Jon was an asshole. He wasn¡¯t posted as ambassador in order to encourage peace and mutual understanding but more as an enduring ¡°Go and fuck yourself.¡± directed to the Federation. ¡°Go and fuck yourself.¡± was a phrase K-shal-ta was also familiar with. It was used by Jon quite often.

    What he hated most about Jon were the medals. He wore all of his decorations denoting his experience and prowess in battle on his diplomatic uniform. K-shal-ta had informed himself regarding the meaning concerning each and every one and the bloody swath across the gxy they represented. The one that was the absolute worst was the stylized silver human skull and crossed femurs on a notched ck obsidian background. It was the mark given to a marine raider, with each notch representing ten kills. He had seen them before killing their way across his homeworld in their expressionless powered exoskeletons.

    Jon had a lot of notches.

    K-shal-ta checked the brain wave scanner he had imnted in one of his maniptors. As usual, the brain waves from Jon were utterly unusable. He did not know whether it was some primitive technology or archaic martial discipline, but Jon could change the baseline of his mental state seemingly at will. He could somehow make everything seem funny to himself regardless of the gravity of the situation. All he could detect was mild euphoria and hrity.

    ¡°Do you honestly expect the Federation to believe that you do not know the origin of those fusion bombs?¡± Jon looked over at K-shal-ta andughed.

    ¡°Do you have any idea how many nukes we produced?¡±

    ¡°No! How many?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a rhetorical question. We have absolutely no idea how many we made. We were cranking those babies out as fast as we could, and we made them by the millions.¡±

    Jon looked at a data screen.

    ¡°From what we can gather, the ones the Z¡¯uush freedom fighters are using are between a type five to a type eight," he continued, "Those were belt-fed into mass elerators and sprayed by the dozen. You remember, right? You are from where? Zaran-7, isn¡¯t it?...¡±

    Jon smiled, revealing his wide fangden mouth.

    K-shal-ta lunged forward with a primal hiss, pincers syed, as he nearly leaped over Jon¡¯s desk.

    Jon rose from his desk, still wearing that toothy grin.

    ¡°Why councilor, you surprise me. Where is that stately decorum for which the Federation is known? You are acting almost Terran, not that I object, of course,¡± he snickered.

    Green phlegm started bubbling from K-shal-ta¡¯s primary mouth, dripping onto Jon¡¯s desk. K-shal-ta, shuddering with rage, drew himself up to his full height and, without bothering to wipe the rage phlegm from his face, said.

    ¡°The Federation is disinclined to believe that the distribution of fusion weaponry to those acting against the Federation is idental and is in fact deliberate. We view this as an act of war.¡±

    ¡°Ok. Sounds good to me.¡± Jon said with a giggle.

    K-shal-ta blinked in shock.

    ¡°Do you not realize the gravity of my statement?¡±

    ¡°Sure do.¡± Jon picked up his toppled cup, went to the coffee maker, and poured another drink. ¡°Let me exin something to you.¡±

    He took a long slow sip.

    ¡°A lot of Terrans think that the war ended way too soon, including myself. A lot of us think that we should have kept going, myself included. A lot of us, including myself, view sneak attacks, especially when we were already weakened due to a conflict with the Collective, to be a dick move and would love, truly and deeply love, watching the entire Federation burn, so forgive me if I don¡¯t throw myself down in front of you begging for the almighty Federation to spare us lowly backward primitive humans.¡±

    Jon advanced towards a bubbling and spluttering K-shal-ta.

    ¡°If you want to dere war, go right ahead. I¡¯m begging you to do it,¡± He continued his advance backing K-shal-ta into a corner. ¡°So the way I see it, you have two choices. You can dere war over some surplus from a war that you starteding back to bite you in the ass, or you can take your bullshit threats and fuck off.¡±

    K-shal-ta hissed and spat a huge wad of rage phlegm at Jon, sttering his uniform, shoved him out of the way, and stormed off.

    ¡°Are you certain you don¡¯t want to stay for tea?¡± Jon called after him with a giggle.

    An enraged scream echoed down the hall. Jon grinned, took off his now slimy jacket, and flopped into his chair.

    ¡°Diplomacy is hard,¡± he said with a smile as he reached for another edible.

 Chapter 3: Precious Cargo

    Chapter 3: Precious Cargo

    "Something''s wrong! Something is really, really wrong!" A young Z''uush cried as it nervously paced back and forth.

    "By the Creators, Sk''shal, you need to calm down. You are going to have an evacuation of your bowels." T''sunk''al said as he lounged on arge shipping crate sipping on a juice box. "She will be here."

    "She iste."

    "She is less than one hourte. We are traveling unimaginably vast distances with the intent of intersecting our paths on this deste dustball of a at this precise moment in the entirety of time. If you think about it in a cosmic sense, the fact that it is possible at all is truly mind-blowing."

    "What exactly is in that juice box?" Sk''shal asked dubiously.

    T''sunk''al justughed at him.

    Sk''shal fidgeted uneasily. They warned him that T''sunk''al was insane. He thought it to be an exaggeration since T''sunk''al seemed so calm and personable, but the fact that he was still so calm and personable was proof positive that everyone was right.

    "Sk''shal, I was nervous as the twelve hells the first few times I did this. In fact, I hupped and shat the whole way. It gets easier. We have had to run the blockades for weapons and now have to for even more important reasons."

    He casually pointed with one of his secondary maniptors towards the ship.

    "At least put on a brave facade for the passengers. We are courageous freedom fighters, and it wouldn''t do for one of us to literally poop their pants."

    "You pooped your pants."

    "Only a little bit, and that is because I knew exactly how close we were to blowing up. That cloaking device that human-friend Johnny provided isn''t exactly the most stable. We had a minute left at the most. I envy the humans. They pucker where we squeeze."

    "WE HAD LESS THAN A MINUTE LEFT!?!?!"

    "Shh¡­ passengers..."

    "WHAT¡­ what would you have done if we hadn''t cleared the blockade in time?"

    T''sunk''al shrugged.

    "I would have uncloaked, surrendered, and spent the rest of my life in a forcedbor facility. I would normally say that I would uncloak and make a run for it but not with refugees on board. My ass bing one with the universe I can ept, but I am not willing to take them along."

    "You would take me along?" Sk''shal asked in disbelief.

    "Yep. You signed up for this shit¡­ freedom fighter¡­ liberty or death, right?"

    "I¡­ I gotta go..." Sk''shal rapidly sprinted behind the ship.

    T''sunk''alughed and yelled after him, "Stay clear of the viewing ports!"

    ***

    The Paper Tiger eased into orbit. She scanned for terrestrial objects. She couldn''t find them at first, but T. had picked a good spot. She smiled. T. was getting good at this.

    "Paper Tiger to Hermit Crab¡­ You ready, T.?"

    "Ready to go," T''sunk''al replied and then turned to Sk''shal.

    "See? Everything''s cool. Let''s start offloading the goodies."

    They both entered their vessel and started transferring pallet after pallet of white powder.

    "What is this all this stuff anyway?" Sk''shal asked.

    "Methamphetamine."

    "What''s methamphetamine?"

    "A dangerously addictive street drug that is popr with humans. It''s a lot like ver''s dust but much more pleasurable from what I understand."

    Sk''shal recoiled in shock.

    "We are making ver''s dust?!?" he squeal-buzzed with dismay.

    "Yes and no. It is addictive as ver''s dust but almost never forced on the victim. They take it voluntarily."

    "That''s insane!"

    "Well, we are discussing humans."

    "Regardless, this is still wrong!"

    T''sunk''alid an appendage on Sk''shal''s carapace.

    "Do you want the guns or not?" he asked his young copilot. "Do you want the refugees transported to Terran space or not? Everything has a price, and this is the price. I also understand that there will be chocte. C''mon. We still have a lot of this to offload."

    Sk''shal held his head in his maniptors and huped. This was not what he envisioned at all. There was no glory. There was no nobility. There was nothing but constant worry and moral ambiguity. Fear he was prepared for. Combat he was prepared for. What he was not prepared for was suddenly bing a drug dealer.

    Shended the Paper Tiger next to T''sunk''al''s vessel, kicking up a cloud of dust. T''sunk''al held a rag over his breathing orifice and stepped forward to greet her. Shortly thereafter, She and six other armed humans debarked and advanced. Sk''shal watched in confusion as T''sunk''al strode forward and engaged in an odd, somewhatplicated hand pping ritual with the lead human. T''sunk''al motioned for Sk''shal to approach.

    "She, this is my new friend S. S, this is human-friend She. She is a very good friend to us."

    She smiled, disying her disturbingly omnivorous teeth.

    "It''s great to meet you, S." She looked over at T''sunk''al. "Is he your recement when you inevitably be one with the Creators¡­ Or lose even more of your eyes?"

    "Meh, that is why the Creators blessed us with twelve."

    He gestured over at the pallets.

    "It is fortunate that we have so much refining equipment sitting idle due to the conflict," he clicked. "I trust it will meet your standards?"

    She shed those disturbing teeth again and approached the cargo with a scanner.

    "Damn, T. You and I should go into business after your war," she said approvingly as she looked at the screen. They may look funny, but those Z''uush could churn out the crystal meth like nobody''s business.

    "That is a most interesting prospect. Who would suspect a nervous little Z''uush hauling a shipload of contraband?" T''sunk''al chuckled.

    "I think you guys have dispelled that nervous little Z''uush stereotype. I honestly didn''t think you guys wouldst a month. How is it going anyhow? All I get is Federation propaganda."

    "Like shit. It''s a stalemate. We are neither advancing nor are we retreating. We are just dying."

    She ced a hand on T''sunk''al''s carapace and nodded.

    "Yep. Sounds like war. Just don''t get too used to it." She said sadly. Momentster, she perked right back up. "On a more cheerful note¡­ We have a nice delivery for you. Everything you asked for plus some presents for our increasingly valuable friends. 10,000 more AK''s, All the ammo you requested, and we were able to get our hands on the mark fifteen armor-piercing rounds, which you will absolutely love. Goes through rigidbat armor like a knife through butter or whatever soft spread you guys have. We couldn''t get the mark seven nukes you guys like, but we did get some mark fives, so we threw in another four. That ok?"

    "That''s more than ok." She then grinned and did a little happy dance.

    "That''s not the best part. It gets better!" She grabbed a case off one of the pallets that her associates were unloading and threw it open. "Liberators!"

    "Liberators?"

    "Completely polymer firearms. No metal, unconventional propent, advanced polymer armor-piercing slugs¡­ Virtually undetectable. They are made by Terran intelligence and fucking hard to get, but for you guys, I made it happen ''cause I like you. Ooo! I almost forgot! I got you a present!"

    She ran into the ship and came out with a gun case.

    "This is a twelve gauge pump shotgun!" She eximed proudly. "Not even chemical, totally mechanically operated, and this puppy barks. Lemme show you how to work it."

    After a brief demonstration, T''sunk''al was delighted.

    "This is simply..." He was cut off by a loud beeping. "...fuck. S, what the fuck is that?"

    Sk''shal rushed into the ship and a momentter sprinted out, dropping poop from his pants leg.

    "It''s a Federation cruiser!" T''sunk''al looked down at Sk''shal''s leg.

    "Seriously?"

    "What are we going to do?!?" Sk''shal cried in terror.

    She paced back and forth.

    "Shit. Shit. Shit." She yelled, then she stopped pacing. "This is what we are going to do. Get those Z''uush onto my ship NOW! I promised I would get them out, and they are getting out. Get the nukes and as many weapons as you can onto your ship."

    "Why?"

    "Just DO IT!" T''sunk''al yelled as he started pushing the nukes towards his ship.

    "Hey, Major¡­nders¡­ now. You got maybe five minutes." A man yelled from the Paper Tiger.

    "You hear that, Z''uushlings? You got five minutes to get on board. GO GO GO GO!" She yelled as she threw open a case and grabbed an AK.

    "Fuck it," T''sunk''al said calmly as he also grabbed one.

    "What about the cargo?" The voice yelled from She''s ship.

    "They are the fucking cargo! Prepare tounch!"

    "You got it, major! But we aren''t going to be able to get them onboard andunch in time."

    "I''ll get you time!" She yelled as she chambered a round. "I''m counting on you, sergeant!"

    A man ran from the ship and helped the Z''uush board.

    "Wee to pirate cruise lines. We hope you enjoy your trip!" he said cheerfully as he started herding the refugees into She''s cargo ship.

    "What are you doing, lieutenant?" She barked.

    "Backing your dumb ass up, ma''am!"

    After the former lieutenant pushed thest Z''uush family on board, he grabbed a rifle.

    "Get your ship airborne the second the Tiger lifts off!" She yelled at the two Z''uush. The Feds will go after the nukes and buy us some time!"

    Sk''shal, with a loud wet farting noise, ran towards the vessel.

    "Why am I enjoying this!?!" he yelled as he spun up the engines. She looked over at T''sunk''al.

    "How long does he need?"

    "If he stops shitting himself, maybe three minutes."

    Two Federationnding craft came into view.

    "Shit. They''re early. Gentlemen, it''s been a pleasure. Oh, and T, I did bring chocte. Should have delivered it first. Sorry."

    "No worries. It''s best for a Z''uush to face this sort of thing on an empty stomach anyhow." T''sunk''al said as he ducked behind a pallet of crystal meth. She turned to herrades and grinned.

    "Ok, boys, it''s party time!" She yelled as she opened fire.

    ***

    "Captain, we are taking heavy fire. We have threebatants, two human and one z''uush." The Federation strike leader reported. The captain was less than pleased.

    "There are only three of them. So what is the issue?"

    "They have us pinned down, and (bang) we are taking (bang) casualties! (brrrrrt) Request permission to use lethal force!"

    "Negative. We need them alive. We need to know the source of the nuclear weapons."

    "Then we need reinforc..."

    "Captain, this is Strike Sergeant Xclong. The strike leader has been severely injured, and I am assumin¡­ THEY HAVE GRENADES¡­ assuming¡­ BANG¡­ assumingmand."

    "Sir, the ships haveunched and are heading in opposite directions. THEY HAVE ROCKETS!! GET AWAY FROM¡­ (BOOM)¡­ Sir, we have just lost anding craft."

    "(sigh) Very well, sergeant. Withdraw to defensive positions and await reinforcements."

    "Yes, sir. (BOOOOM) Sir, we just lost the othernder." The captain mumbled obscenities under his breath. And pressed a button on his console.

    "Yes, Captain!"

    "Send every damned marine we have to the surface now. Get a lock on the vessel with the nukes and fire an EMP. We will board it once we deal with the surface."

    "Yes, Sir! I''m trying, sir."

    "Trying?!"

    "His evasive maneuvers are¡­ wait¡­ I got him."

    "Sir, the other vessel has jumped to hyperspace."

    "Yes, exactly as they nned." The captain growled.

    ***

    She awoke greeted with a splitting headache. She groaned and rolled over to discover that she was sharing a cell with herpatriots.

    "Fuuuuuck¡­ O. Is it just me, or have they dialed up the stunners?" She mumbled.

    T''sunk''al painfully flopped over.

    "It wasn''t so much the setting as it was the number of times we were shot. I know for a fact you caught a couple after you were down. I think they were somewhat displeased with you."

    "Those assholes..." She grinned. "I wonder why they could possibly be angry with us."

    "Indeed. They have absolutely no sense of humor¡­ Ow. I think I cracked my carapace."

    The lieutenant groaned faintly. She weakly kicked at him. "Dumbass. Big fucking glorious dumbass," she said proudly.

    ***

    Ambassador Wintersmith was having lunch when he got the news. The fucking Federation actually did something effective! They had caught her! Not only had they caught her red-handed, but they caught two Z''uush who were paying for guns and nukes with crystal meth of all things. He was mystified how the Feds managed to pull it off, but the important thing was that they did.

    Now all he had to do was collect her. The Terran Republic had a whole lot of questions for that bitch, and there was no way she was wiggling out of this one. So he quickly boarded his diplomatic craft and headed for Fed Security Station Twelve, where his prize awaited.

    He arrived to find She, an unknown human male, and two Z''uush, all of which looked scorched and groggy. He turned to the guard, a burly Threen.

    "What happened to them?"

    "Nothing¡­ They were just shot with stunners¡­ repeatedly¡­ numerous times¡­ including two incidents while in custody. The female is a biter. So is one of the Z''uush."

    "Good," Jon said with a smile. "Zap them a few times for me. Oh, where is the security chief? I am here to take custody of the Terrans and would like to request the right for myself or a representative to be present for the interrogation of the Z''uush."

    The guard shifted uneasily.

    Jon''s good mood started to evaporate. "What?"

    "It''s not my ce to say, ambassador."

    "Well, it is mine!" Said an unfortunately familiar voice behind him. Jon''s good mood was officially gone. Reminding himself that what he really really wanted to do was definitely not a good idea, Jon turned around, and there, every pecker on his goddamn muppet head fully inted to the point of bursting, was councilor K-shal-ta. Behind him were two humans in Federation uniforms.

    Jon snarled and unconsciously stepped forward. There was nothing, nothing in the whole universe more hated by a Terran human than a Federation human. Those coborating bastards were in no small way responsible for the trumped-up bullshit charges that the Federation used to justify their attack and were exceedingly helpful in making that attack a sess. Jon had murder in his eyes, so much so that K-shal-ta''s pecker crest deted slightly.

    "If the ambassador behaves in any way that could be considered violent, you have my authority to use any force necessary to resolve the situation," he said to the increasingly ufortable Threen.

    The Threen slumped. Just two more hours. Just two more fucking hours, and his weekend would start, and he did not need this shit. The Threen had dealt with Terrans before during the war. He did NOT want to do it again. Those fuckers were evil. Two hours to go, and now he had the perfect storm of a Terran human and two Federation humans. That Terran might be an ambassador now, and he didn''t know Terran heraldry. Still, he was pretty sure that they didn''t hand out decorations featuring what were clearly skeletal remains of some sort for organizing the office charity drive.

    "Yes, councilor," he said about as miserably as a Threen could.

    "What the fuck are you doing here, Councilor?" Jon hissed.

    "I am here to facilitate the transfer of these prisoners¡­ all of them."

    "What the fuck are you ying at K-shal-ta?" He red at the humans and saw Federation intelligence designations on their uniforms. "I am NOT in the mood for your bullshit right now."

    "Nor I yours." the councilor said with undisguised glee. "Now, please be a good ambassador and step aside."

    "Like fuck I will! They may be scum, but they are Terran scum, and I am here to haul their asses off to Terran space for questioning."

    "Oh, you mean these enemybatants?"

    Jon blinked.

    "What?"

    "Oh, didn''t you hear? They bore arms alongside dangerous Z''uush insurgents in a direct armed conflict with Federation forces. That. Makes. Them. Enemy. Combatants." K-shal-ta said in the most condescending tone he could muster. "They are directly involved in a current armed conflict with the Federation and as such are valuable intelligence assets."

    "That is total bullshit, and you know it."

    "In ordance with statute seven of-"

    "Stick statute seven up your ass. This is not over."

    "Yes, ambassador, it is. Now, these nice intelligence officers will take custody of these enemybatants and rigorously interrogate them. After that, we will share any pertinent information, at our discretion, of course," Councilor K-shal-ta cackled with glee.

    "Councilor," one of the Federation agents quietly said and then nodded toward Jon. "Due to¡­ obvious considerations, we believed that time was of the essence, so we took a heavy fighter here, and it isn''trge enough for the prisoners. We would like to requisition arger ship for transport of the prisoners and guards necessary to secure them."

    "Of course, of course, agent. You have my authority. Just report to the transport office."

    "Councilor, we are taking them to a ck site, and it would be best if you signed for it directly for security reasons. We don''t wish to file an official flight n."

    "Absolutely. Just hand me the¡­ why such arge vessel?"

    "Unfortunately, after examining the vessels avable, it is the only onerge enough to meet our needs. Admittedly it is much toorge, and we apologize for the inefficiency, but rather than arrange for something more suitable, we believe it''s for the best..." The Federation human nced at Jon. "I believe it best for us to transfer the prisoners immediately."

    "That makes sense." The councilor quickly signed the tablet and grinned at Jon, utterly unaware of how close he came to dying just then.

    "Thank you, councilor. We will take the prisoners now." She and her cohorts were led away. Jon stood there motionless for some time, much to the concern of a certain Threen.

    ***

    The next day Jon was in his office absolutely enraged. His calls either went unanswered, or he got a nd response that was basically what the councilor had already told him. The icing on the top of the cake was when his superiors told him to drop it. Apparently, they had concerns that it could be a real diplomatic incident. It seemed that everyone thought the easiest answer would be if the whole problem just went away, even if it meant leaving Terran citizens in the hands of Federation traitors.

    Everyone was satisfied.

    Everyone except Jon, of course. Yes, he had inquired about "making her go away" before, but handing her over to the traitors? He wouldn''t wish that on any Terran.

    He wasn''t going to let this one go, career be damned. Just as he grabbed the phone for yet another round of calls, his inte buzzed.

    "Ambassador..." Toby said hesitantly, "Councilor K-shal-ta is here to see you."

    "Show him in." Jon snarled.

    "Ambassador," the councilor said, his voice just dripping with glee, "I understand that you are still engaged in a futile attempt to somehow manage to change the situation. Now I would normally let you scream and il until the end of time, but I am getting tired of taking calls about it. You will not win. Those Terrans will be in the Nigerian detention facility until the end of time."

    Jon blinked.

    "The what? The what facility?"

    "The Nigerian detention facility."

    Jon blinked again.

    "Have you ever actually heard of the Nigerian detention facility before?" Jon asked.

    "No, of course not. It is a ck site operated by the humans. You have heard of ck sites before, I trust? I understand it''s an underhanded human way to bypass troublesome regtions."

    "Oh, I have heard of something like this before," Jon said, trying desperately to suppress a grin. "Not that it''s any of my business, but exactly how big of a transport vessel did the agents requisition?"

    "I see no harm in telling you. It was a ss twelve medium cargo vessel." Jon couldn''t help but chuckle.

    "That''s a pretty big ship. Great jump range, too¡­ Very nice. Did they request anything else, maybe something like an off-the-record small loan or service in exchange forrge rewards that sounded perfectly reasonable considering the circumstances?"

    "Absolutely not, and I would report such an offer if they did. Corruption is a Terran phenomenon," the councilor said with just a bit too much conviction.

    Jon smiled and leaned back in his chair.

    "Well, I know when I am beat. I guess I will just have to ept things the way they are." Jonughed. "Have a great day, councilor."

    Councilor K-shal-ta refused to be deceived by the wild hrity disyed by his brain wave scanner and proudly strode, crest fully erect, out of ambassador Wintersmith''s office. Once he left Jon, let out a long contented sigh and pressed the inte.

    "Oh Toby, would you pretty pretty please get me Terran Intelligence on the line. They are not going to believe this one."

 Chapter 4: Crime never pays... Unless it does

    Chapter 4: Crime never pays... Unless it does

    The day of the escape:

    Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as their shiny new ss twelve medium cargo vessel entered hyperspace. The "Federation female" handed She and Jacob (the former lieutenant) cups of coffee.

    "Thanks, Gloria," She said as she took a sip.

    "You look like hell, ma''am."

    "Heh, you should see the other guy¡­ guys actually," She grinned. "You guys have balls of steel, by the way."

    "No man left behind. We weren''t going to leave you to the Feds. Besides, it was a golden opportunity," Gloria said as she gestured around. "I figured this could be worth a few credits. Sticking it to the Feds at the same time was a nice plus."

    "Still, this was some crazy shit. There is no way I would have authorized this."

    "Too fucking bad you weren''t around to stop us."

    She looked around quizzically. "Where is the sergeant?" she asked.

    Gloria took in a deep breath.

    "Lieutenant Samuels¡­ Where is sergeant Roberts?" She asked with a slight edge in her voice.

    "Um..."

    She narrowed her eyes at Gloria.

    "Um¡­ What?" she asked.

    "Um¡­ He stayed behind."

    ¡°WHAT ?!?!?¡± She jumped up and grabbed Gloria. "What. The. Fuck?"

    "Well, you know that pad that the Councilor signed? It was a doppelganger."

    She''s eyes widened. She didn''t even know they had a doppelganger. When did they get a doppelganger?

    "What did you get?" she asked.

    "Everything," Gloria replied with a predatory gleam in her eyes, "Full biometric data, signature, decrypted password, diplomatic credentials... We got it all."

    She slowly shook her head andughed.

    "So he''s going shopping?"

    Gloria grinned wickedly.

    "You could say that..."

    "I know that look," She said as she narrowed her eyes and curled her lips into a predatory grin. "What exact sort of fucking are we talking about?"

    "Hard¡­ Without lube."

    She sat back down, leaned back, and said with a wolfish smile, "Okay, tell me what you goddamn pirates are up to."

    ***

    "I am certain that we can assist you, Councilor. It is the least we can do in exchange for facilitating that prisoner transfer." Roberts said as he and K-shal-ta walked down a corridor. K-shal-ta was ecstatic. He finally had a way to get Jon.

    "Oh, think nothing of it. I am always happy to help the Federation. It is my duty, after all." K-shal-ta said eagerly.

    "Of course, Councilor, I need not tell you that what we are doing is highly illegal, and your utmost secrecy is required. Should what I am doing be discovered, it would be the end of my career, and I will most likely wind up in prison."

    "Don''t worry, agent, this is not without risk for myself as well. My secrecy is assured."

    Roberts looked directly into Councilor K-shal-ta''s beady muppet-like eyes.

    "If only we had more true patriots like you. I truly admire your courage," he said, his voice full of admiration and respect.

    "Do you think you will find anything?"

    "Absolutely. We have had our eyes on Jon Wintersmith for quite some time," Roberts replied smoothly, "Unfortunately, he has sessfully hidden his activities behind the doors of the Terran Embassy. If half of what we suspect is true, not only will it be a diplomatic incident of epic proportions, there will be evidence of crimes that will not be covered by his diplomatic status. He will be arrested and go to a Federation prison for the rest of his life."

    "I knew it! I knew that¡­ asshole¡­ wasn''t a real ambassador!"

    Roberts smiled and reminded himself to give B-reen-sho, an employee of K-shal-ta, a nice bonus. The information that he absolutely hated Ambassador Wintersmith was invaluable. Just the mention of his name had K-shal-ta eating out of the palms of their hands. He had always thought that all of the money She threw around was a waste, but this one instance proved that every credit was well spent. Of course, K-shal-ta being such an ass didn''t hurt. B-reen-sho would probably have betrayed him for free.

    "Do you think you could have him taken to this¡­ ''Nigerian Detention Facility''?"

    "Councilor, I will personally assure it."

    Roberts and K-shal-ta arrived at a door marked with red Federation security markings.

    "Councilor, it would be best if we had privacy for our endeavor¡­ If you understand my meaning," Roberts said calmly.

    "Don''t worry, agent, I will take care of it."

    K-shal-ta barged into the room, startling two clerks.

    "Get out."

    "Councilor?" one of the clerks asked in confusion.

    "I said GET OUT! We need this room for Federation business!"

    "But..."

    "Do you need a new trantor? I SAID GET OUT NOW!"

    The two clerks scurried away. K-shal-ta turned to Roberts with a smile.

    "Sometimes you just have to be direct," he said smugly as his pecker-crest inted.

    "I admire your efficiency, Councilor," Roberts said in an even professional tone. "From the secure terminals in this room, I will be able to directly ess the Federation secure quantumwork and attempt to hack into the Terran Embassy."

    Roberts looked around in an overly cautious manner.

    "Councilor," he said quietly, "I hate to ask you to do such a mundane task, but could you keep watch? As you are aware, breaching an embassy''s security is a major vition of both the current treaty and epted diplomatic practice."

    "Oh, of course!" K-shal-ta said in an eager voice. "Oh, this is exciting!"

    "Yes, just stand around that corner and let me know if you see anyone."

    Once the Councilor was out of the way, Roberts wasted little time. He plugged his tablet into the data port of the secure terminal and went to work. The secure terminal and K-shal-ta''s security clearance and diplomatic credentials made getting into base security effortless. He then promptly erased all records concerning She''s arrest. The next order of business was to order all seized weapons and drugs vaporized with top priority citing "safety concerns". Now that their tracks were covered and there was no way to trace the weapons, it was time for some fun.

    ***

    Kreelna was having a spirited debate with her co-workers concerning the Federation holo-games when her monitor pinged. She turned to look, and her stomachs knotted. It was K-shal-ta''s face.

    She really didn''t like him.

    "(sigh) Federation Intelligence. How may I help you, Councilor?"

    "Hello," K-shal-ta said with a pleasant smile. "I just need ess. I''m having problems with the Terrans again, and I need some up-to-date information and other things. Best to put out a fire before it starts and all that."

    "Um¡­ Okay, Councilor. I have to check your credentials." Kreelna braced herself for the usual loud objections about it being a waste of time.

    "Sure!" The Councilor said with the same cheerful lopsided smile.

    "Um¡­ Okay... Everything looks good. You now have full ess."

    "Thanks for your help! I really appreciate it!"

    "Um¡­ Okay." Kreelna cleared ess for the session and hung up. She looked at the monitor in confusion.

    "What''s up, Kreelna?" Her supervisor asked.

    "Oh, nothing. I just talked to K-shal-ta."

    "That rectum? What the hell did he want?"

    "He just wanted ess, but the weird thing was that he was professional¡­ nice even¡­ he smiled and everything."

    "Weird. Maybe he was on something?" The supervisorughed. "It is strange, though."

    They both shrugged and rejoined the debate.

    ***

    Robert smiled as the monitor switched off, cracked his knuckles, and went to work.

    "Federation agents, human, all, full records, download." he typed and hit enter. That took only two minutes. He was surprised. He heard that these main quantum terminals were fast, but this was <em>fast</em>. He smiled. The primary mission wasplete, and he had plenty of time.

    He started downloading everything he could. He began with anything associated with the word "Terran", "Terra", or Earth. He filled up the first data crystal, and as he was switching it out with a new one, he saw K-shal-ta peeking around the corner.

    "How is it going?" K-shal-ta asked.

    "Reasonably well. Their security is more difficult than I expected, but we have the best algorithms there are. It will break soon."

    "Great¡­ great¡­ it''s just that it''s starting to take a little while and..."

    Roberts smiled reassuringly at the Councilor.

    "These things can sometimes take a few minutes," Roberts said as he casually pressed "Resume Download."

    "Okay¡­" K-shal-ta said as he returned to his conveniently assigned watch.

    The download waspleted, and there was still plenty of time. Roberts raided the archives and downloaded all closed-door sessions of the council. He then grabbed everything concerning the Z''uush. Once that was done, he grabbed everything he could, filling up data crystal after data crystal. Wishing he had brought more crystals, he closed the session.

    "Councilor! I got him!" Roberts shouted.

    "You did?!"

    "Yes. I have a lot of data. But, unfortunately, it is heavily encrypted, and I will have to take it back with me for our supeputers to handle." Roberts said with a smooth smile. "I thank you. This will not only strike a blow against the Republic but have a definite effect on my career¡­ perhaps yours as well, Councilor."

    "I am not interested in such things," The Councilor said, his peckers fully upright, "The good of the Federation is what is important."

    "You are an inspiration to us all, Councilor. I apologize, but I must depart immediately."

    "I understand, agent. Good travels."

    "I hate to impose¡­ but I was just informed that the heavy fighter we were using failed the turnaround check and will spend at least twenty-four hours in maintenance. Could you authorize a light fast craft?"

    "Oh, absolutely, agent. I would be happy to. It''s the least I could do."

    "I really appreciate it, Councilor. I have already selected a suitable vessel. Just sign here¡­."

    ***

    The next day:

    "Ambassador, Helen Mongrave is here and wishes to speak with you."

    Jon stopped spinning happily in his office chair.

    "Daaaammmn, Toby, when I said get me in touch with intelligence, I meant to get them on the phone, not run out and grab one," he giggled.

    The doors of his office opened, and Helen walked in. She looked down at the "cookie tin" lying open on Jon''s desk.

    "Ambassador, exactly how many of grandma''s brownies have you had?" she asked as she reached in and got one.

    "Just one. I''m high on life, baby!"

    He spun again.

    "That bitch! That glorious, magnificent bitch! She just steals a fucking ss twelve and flies away! She did it right under their noses!" Jon threw his head back andughed. "Woo!"

    "She did it right under your nose, too, you know."

    "Pssh¡­ Minor detail. Insignificant in the grand scheme of things."

    "Well, that minor detail is why I am here."

    Jon stoppedughing and spinning.

    "Oh?" He asked with a surprisingly sober voice. "What''s up?"

    "As far as we know," Helen said as she finished off her brownie, "She Donovan has been captured and is being held at an undisclosed location in Federation space. She is not atrge. She, for all intents and purposes, does not exist."

    "What did she <em>do</em>?" Jon asked.

    "Whatever she may or may not have done and whatever she may or may not have given us, or more precisely <em>sold</em> to us for a truly stupid amount of money is none of your concern."

    "C''mon Helen, let me in on it."

    Helen looked around cautiously.

    "Okay, but you can''t breathe a word of this..."

    Toby was filling out his daily report when he was interrupted by loud maniacalughtering from the ambassador''s office.

    "Well, somebody just got fucked." he said to himself before returning to his tasks.

 Chapter 5: Gunboat Diplomacy

    Chapter 5: Gunboat Diplomacy

    The Federation ship Magnanimous slowly wound its way through a dense cluster of asteroids. The small asteroids had been towed years ago to surround a mining and ore processing center, but regardless of their original purpose, the rebel Z''uush had turned them into deathtraps. These sorts of ces had taken many Z''uushary Defense and even a few Federation vessels. It seemed like the insurgents had obtained more than just weapons from the Terrans. They were starting to fight like them as well. There was nothing honorable about them left. They were just a festering wad of pure hate, dirty tricks, and the overwhelming desire to kill.

    Taking this fortification was not the cakewalk they expected when they arrived months ago. Z''uush warriors? The thought wasical.

    Captain Mozzux clenched his mouth ridges in a frown remembering how he had chafed at receiving the orders toe here. He thought it an assignment "beneath" himself and his ship. A Horizon ss battleship performing a police action against some rabble? Ridiculous. Now, monthster, he just hoped he could get his ship and crew out of here in one piece. He did not want to end up like the <em>Hopefu</em>l.

    They proved that even Horizon ss ships weren''t safe out here.

    "Make sure you scan each asteroid with everything you have. Miss nothing." He told his crew, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. Any of these damn rocks could be a "Z''uush hand grenade", a typical looking asteroid with a little present inside. Those multi-eyed bastards were damn good miners, a fact that initially was disregarded, even viewed with disdain. Simple miners ying at being soldiers? Ha!

    Now, not so much.

    They could drill down into an asteroid, cut it so it would fragment in huge chunks, and line it with Terran-style explosives or a nuke, all the while making it lookpletely normal both visually and on scans. Any ship getting too close, regardless of ss, could be shredded in an instant.

    There were <em>hundreds</em> of asteroids close by. Any of them could be serious trouble. They were weaving through this mess, and for what? A fortified factory with maybe a couple hundred Z''uush at most? Even once they got through the minefield, their marines would then have to enter the hellscape inside. They could expect to lose several times more men than they would kill or capture.

    All of this from fighting some meek little Z''uush. Medical analysis of killed or captured Z''uush exined it. When "pushed" hard enough, their brains would actually physically change, and they would stop being meek easily pushed aroundborers. Instead, they would be something <em>ugly</em>, almost Terran. It was way too easy for a Z''uush to be "feral".

    The Z''uush government knew about this, of course. It was a quirk of their biology and something that they would quietly "treat" if someone became troublesome. The "treatment" was disturbingly inhumane anywhere but especially in the Federation. The captain red his nostrils in vexation. He had always considered himself part of the "good guys". Now, he wasn''t so sure.

    He was considering resigning after this mission. He wasn''t sure if the Federation was something he wanted to fight for anymore. He found himself thinking of his father''s algae farm wistfully far too often. He could go back. There the filth clinging to him would simply wash off. Yes, he decided. After this one, he was done. His father would be thrilled.

    A loud beeping snapped him back to reality.

    "Captain, we have just detected <em>multiple</em> hyperspace signatures¡­ one of them is <em>huge</em>..."

    "What is it? Can you identify them?"

    The sensor operator started hyperventting.

    "What do you see?" The captain asked in rm.

    "Sir¡­ It''s a Terran carrier group. Oh, Gods... It''s the <em>Retribution!"</em>

    The captain''s blood ran cold. The Retribution¡­ It was the stuff of nightmares. It was one of the monsters of the Terran war. Its appearance heralded doom. Its escorts were scarcely better. Most of them had names that sent a chill down any Federation captain''s spine. It was a demon king leading a monstrous horde. The gates of Hell traveled with them.

    The captain was unable to suppress a shudder. Were we at war again? Dear Gods, don''t let us be at war again! That fleet could wipe out every single Federation and allied Z''uush ship in the system in a few hours, and he had absolutely no doubt they would do it with a song in their hearts. There would be no mercy.

    "Get us out of these rocks and into open space! Get me Command now!"

    ***

    Ambassador Jon Wintersmith lounged in his office chair with a huge bowl of popcorn, watching all holy Hell breaking loose on the Federationworks. It seemed that someone leaked a colossal volume of confidential and ssified information to the press. He grabbed another handful of popcorn and wondered how much She sold it for or if she actually gave something away for once. He shook his head and grinned. This was fantastic. Terran Intelligence was probably pissed off that they lost some potential leverage but who cares. This shitshow made it all worthwhile.

    He raised his coffee mug in salute to the picture of She Donovan he now kept on his desk.

    "God, I love you. I absolutely <em>fucking</em> love you!" He drained his mug and returned his attention to the screen.

    "Councilor! Councilor! Do you have anyment concerning the newfound information that indicates that the allegations that triggered the invasion of Terran space were not only unfounded but that this was known prior to the invasion? Did you lie to us? Do you have any idea how many million people lost their lives?"

    A human was hurrying into a building, covering his face. Another human stepped in the way of the mob of reporters.

    "Councilor Morgan has noment at this time."

    "Heh, I bet you don''t, asshole," Jon said as he grabbed more popcorn. He looked at his watch. It would be any minute now.

    He pulled out one of grandma''s brownies. He should get ready to receive a guest or two.

    <em>Councilor K-shal-ta will pop one of his peckers over this one, </em>he thought. He found himself looking forward to that muppet barging in for once. This was going to be fun!

    ***

    Admiral Adam Nielsen walked onto the bridge of the Retribution.

    "Hey, Captain, what we got?"

    "Just peanuts, Sir. Two Horizon ss battleships, six Protector ss cruisers, and fifty-three Z''ussh system vessels."

    "What do we know about the locals?"

    "Not a whole bunch. They are mostly corvette and cutter ss. Looks like their primary weapons are Federation phasers. The cutters also pack torpedo tubes. The corvettes are a joke, but those cutters have a good engine-to-mass ratio. That plus the torpedoes make them possibly the biggest threat, including the Horizons."

    "Yeah, those actually look pretty decent." The admiral said approvingly as he looked at the screen.

    "I''m going tounch a few Shrike squadrons. Those should be able to shred their cutters should they decide to be stupid."

    "Sounds good. Just remind everyone that we aren''t at war and don''t wish to start one," The admiral grinned at the captain. "Not that I particrly give a fuck, but the brass back home will crawl up my ass if it happens."

    "Yes, admiral. I will tell everyone to be on their best behavior."

    "That goes for you too."

    "Yes, sir," The captain said as he shed a predatory grin.

    ***

    Captain Mozzux just stared at the disy. He knew that Terran carriers were huge, but nothing could really prepare someone for exactly how huge. The monstrosity was more like a giant space station than a starship. He kept looking at the measurements, especially the mass, in disbelief. It was the size of an asteroid. How did they even get something like that to move? Its defensive energy shields were weak, much weaker than the <em>Magnanimous</em>, but from what he knew, they were just to deflect debris.

    Its primary defense was armor¡­ An insane amount of armor. Analysis showed that it was primarily nickel-iron, much like many of the asteroids in the Sol system. It was as if they just melted down entire asteroids to make it. Knowing the Terrans, odds are that is what they actually did. The exact thickness of the armor wasn''t known, but battlefield ounts showed it shrugging off impacts that would destroy anything the Federation had. Whether or not they had managed to inflict internal damage wasn''t known. What was known is nothing had ever rendered it unable to fight.

    The main guns of the Retribution were like nothing the Federation had ever seen. In addition to their signature projectiles, the carriers had "primitive" infra-redsers. They might be primitive, but they were impossibly powerful. They shouldn''t exist. Federation scientists simply could not exin them.

    The exact power output wasn''t exactly known. It was simply too great to urately measure in battlefield conditions. When used for orbital bombardment, they have destroyed entire cities in moments. No deflector screen had a chance. It could cut his ship in half even from the edge of the system if he stood still long enough. A vessel''s only defense was movement. It took time to bring that monster to bear. Shit, they weren''t moving.

    "Take evasive maneuvers, NOW!"

    The captain shook his head in disbelief. And we attacked them? What were we thinking?

    "Captain, they areunching Shrikes!"

    "How many?"

    "Um¡­ One hundred and twenty..."

    "What ?!?!?" Captain Mozzux no longer bothered keeping up a pretense of calm. Shrikes¡­ It''s not like he didn''t know they were on board, but there were so many¡­ The Shrike heavy fighter was just as bad as their AK-47 or perhaps even the carrier itself. Many considered it to be one of the perfect weapons of war. Fast, tough, and armed with gauss chain guns and rapid-fire fusion bombunchers, they were responsible for more kills than any other Terran vessel. When used on a''s surface, there was only one word to describe them, <em>horror</em>.

    He suppressed an urge to flee. He wanted nothing more than to just jump to hyperspace and then retire in disgrace. It wasn''t a bad idea, really. Algae farming¡­ A good honest trade. But he had a duty to protect this system or at least try to. They could maybe buy enough time for a few civilian ships to jump.

    "Get me the Z''uush Secretary of Defense."

    A few minutester, K''sul''ta''ren''s face appeared on the screen.

    "What is going on!" K''sul''ta''ren eximed.

    "We have a Terran carrier fleet in the system. You need to start evacuating everyone now. Get as many ships moving as you can. Get everyone out of the cities and do it immediately. And whatever you do, do not have your ships try to engage the Terrans."

    "We have the right to defend ourselves!"

    "Are you an idiot? Do you have any idea what these <em>monsters</em> will do to you? First, they will wipe out your entire fleet and then start tearing apart your for kicks."

    "Well, evacuating is not an option. We don''t want to start a panic."

    "So you are just going to hope that the Terrans don''t do what Terrans do?"

    "They won''t do anything. It would be an act of war! They would incur the full wrath of the Federation!" K''sul''ta''ren said, raising himself to his full height.

    "Are you kidding me?" Captain Mozzux replied with a sardonicugh.

    Before the Z''uush Secretary of Defense could respond, themunications officer interrupted them.

    "Captain, the Terrans are broadcasting."

    Captain Mozzux hung up on the Z''uush and turned his attention to the main screen. An old scarred Terran appeared.

    "This is Admiral Adam Nielsen,mander of the <em>Retribution</em> task force. The Z''uush system is now under the protection of the Terran Republic. All Federation and Z''uushary Defense vessels will power down their weapons and stand by for further instructions. Wee in peace but will not hesitate to deal with any hostile forces in the manner for which we are known."

    The signal shut off immediately thereafter.

    "Captain?" One of the bridge officers asked.

    "Power down weapons. Transfer everything to shields. Continue evasive maneuvers. They don''t seem to be shooting, but when they do, let''s not be a stationary target."

    "The Federation vessels are powering down. The Z''uush ships are not," The captain said to Admiral Neilsen.

    "Well, the Feds know what''s good for them," the admiral said as he surveyed the system disy. "Hmm, all the ships are holding position except for that one Horizon. It''s wiggling like crazy. Which one is it?"

    "Based on the engine signatures, we believe it to be the <em>Magnanimous</em>. Those are some pretty decent evasive maneuvers too. I can''t figure out an algorithm, so it''s impossible to hit with the BFG."

    "Smart. I like that one. We willmunicate with them from now on. Hopefully, they have some sense."

    ***

    "Ambassador, Councilor¡­ Skippy is here to see you," Toby announced over the inte.

    "Councilor Skippy? Send them in," Jon said quizzically. Councilor "Skippy"? This was a new one.

    A fluffy white thing bounced into his office. Jon was dumbfounded. Soft looking fuzzy white fur, long ears, a little pink nose, whiskers, and big brown oddly faceted eyes... The Federation just called in the fucking Easter Bunny.

    "Greetings, Ambassador Wintersmith." The councilor squeaked in a high-pitched voice.

    "Councilor¡­<em> Skippy</em>¡­ I presume."

    ¡°Well my Xvli name is [emailprotected]~kthAAAaalliIi.¡±

    "¡­ Ah, Councilor Skippy then," Jon said, blinking with confusion. It took a lot to knock him off of his game, but a fucking Easter Bunny with a name that sounded like a broken hyperdrive pretty much managed to do the trick. "Pleasee in."

    "Why, thanks a bunch!" Skippy said with a disarming scrunch of her nose as she bounced across his office and plopped into a chair. "I''m pretty sure you know why I''m here, but now I have an even more urgent concern."

    "Oh?" Jon said inplete confusion.

    "What is that?" Councilor Skippy asked as she pointed at the bowl on his desk, her cute little nose sniffing urgently.

    "It''s popcorn?"

    "Could I have some?"

    "Um¡­ sure. Take the bowl."

    "Oh, this is scrumptious!" Skippy said as she buried her face in the bowl, munching away. "Positively amazing. Popcorn¡­ We need to discuss an export deal¡­ter, of course."

    "Um¡­ I was expecting Councilor K-shal-ta¡­." Jon was more than a little confused. Things were definitely not going the way he was eagerly expecting.

    "(munch munch) K-shal-ta (munch) no longer represents the (munch) Federation. I''m pretty sure (munch) you know why, my little sugar snap pea. (munch)."

    "Oh?" Jon asked with a smile. "Why is that?"

    "Don''t (munch) insult my intelligence (munch). And while we are on the subject,(munch) do you have any knowledge concerning the location of (munch) one Terran known as She Donovan and her Z''uush associates?"

    "I thought she was incarcerated by the Federation. Last I saw, both her and her associates were being led away by Federation intelligence officers." Jon, finally getting back on track, said with a smile.

    "Aha¡­ cute. Aren''t we a clever turnip?" Skippy said with a faint edge to her squeak. "Where. The. Fuck. Is. She? (munch)"

    "The Nigerian Detention Centerst I heard."

    "Oh, you are going to get some mileage out of that one, aren''t you, honey bunches of oats? (munch munch munch) I don''t me you, though. It''s been making (munch) the rounds over on our side too. The time-honored Dizrank Gambit... I''m a fan of the ssics, and (munch) it was done perfectly. K-shal-ta being aplete moron (munch) did help, though¡­ The biggest security breach in Federation history and two ships as well."

    "Two?"

    "(munch) You didn''t know about the second one, sweetie? They also stole a Stancer. (munch)"

    "No fucking way!" Jon said with augh. "I didn''t know about the Stancer," Jon said as he reached for the inte. "Toby, could you whip up some more popcorn?"

    "You are the awesomest! I have no idea why K-shal-ta said that you were an asshole," Skippy said with a happy nose scrunch. "Oh, before I forget, I meant to ask you something. Why the heck is there a Terran carrier fleet in the Z''uush system?"

    ***

    Captain Mozzux''s heart sang as he delivered the news to Secretary K''sul''ta''ren.

    "WHAT?!?!?"

    "You heard me, Secretary. They say that they are here to protect and evacuate Terran citizens."

    "What Terran citizens?" K''sul''ta''ren shouted at Captain Mozzux.

    "Well, it seems that contact was made between your insurgents and the Terran Republic, and a number of them have pledged allegiance to the Republic, and their appeal has been recognized and granted. In the eyes of the Republic, they are citizens."

    "They can''t do that!"

    "Apparently, they can. They have reviewed the whole situation concerning this insurrection and its causes and state that they view it as valid. Therefore, as long as their new citizens do not start any hostile actions against the Federation from this point forward, they are not guilty of any crimes as far as they are concerned. They have, however, made it quite clear that their new citizens can defend themselves and that they will happily assist in that regard." Captain Mozzux said with the first smile he had since he came to this system. "Oh, and by the way, more z''uush are pledging allegiance by the second. It''s a torrent. They are sending vessels to all stations and colonies in the system and will bending on your shortly in order to process applications. I strongly advise not interfering."

    "This is ridiculous! You can''t possibly..."

    "They know <em>everything</em>. They know everything about what started this excrementden war. And, for the record, the Federation knows <em>everything</em> as well. Not just some members of the council in your pocket, the <em>entire</em> council knows <em>everything</em>. The Federation public knows <em>everything</em>. <em>I know everything.</em>"

    "..."

    "Yeah, you piece of <em>shit</em>. I know it all. I can''t believe that the Federation¡­ That I sent people to die over your excrementden government."

    "You can''t speak to me that way!"

    "You seem to have a problem with knowing what someone can and can''t do. The Terrans can ept whoever they want as citizens, and I can speak to you any way that I fucking please, you wasted spawn. You have oppressed your people to the point of rebellion, and you slimy egg thieves managed to get the Federation to assist you in murdering them."

    "I will not stand by while you insult me. I will have your job over this."

    "Good luck with that. After I discharge my duty here and my ship leaves this turd of a system, I am resigning in disgust. I seriously doubt you can get me fired from my father''s muck farm, so lick my cloaca. Really get down in there. Considering the filth that spews from your mouth, I doubt you would have any problem."

    Secretary K''sul''ta''ren started spluttering, gasping, and huping in rage. Captain Mozzux looked over at his tactical disy.

    "Oh, to let you know, the Terranunches are reaching rebel territory and are approaching all other stations and colonies and will be there within two hours. I have also just been informed by the Republic fleet that vessels will be on your surface within six hours."

    "We will st them into atoms! If you won''t stop them, we will!"

    "I almost wish you would," Captain Mozzux said with augh. "Let me tell you what will happen if you do. In the first hour, all of yourary Defense craft will be gone. I''m not exaggerating. They will bepletely destroyed. <em>If</em> we enter the fray, we will also be taken out about as quickly. Then, the Retribution will jump in and enter orbit around your. Shortly thereafter, all of your surface military instations will <em>boil</em>. Look up the Retribution''s main guns if you don''t know what they can do. After that, the Shrikes wille, and the fun really starts. Once they polish off any scraps the Retribution left of your military, they will begin the infrastructure raids. Every power nt, every spaceport, every road, every bridge, every monorail station and line, all industry... every single goddamn thing that keeps your running will be gone by day two at thetest," Captain Mozzux pauses to let all of that sink in.

    "Thenes thenders. I don''t know if you are familiar with Terran marine raiders. If you aren''t, look them up. They are the cleaning crew. Any military you still have left will be torn to shreds. If you are having trouble with some insurgents, you are fucked. These guys are the real deal. During all of this alsoes the part that I will actually be looking forward to should I still be alive. Their special operations teams will start ''targeted eliminations'' of ''personnel essential to the current regime''. That is their gentle way of saying <em>assassinations</em>. They wille for the government. They wille for <em>you</em>. Don''t think you will be able to escape. <em>They will find you.</em> The only officials that survive this are the ones that surrender. In your case, I wouldn''t rmend it because of the crimes you and your bedfellows havemitted. You would be subjected to Terran justice, in this case, a ''trial by your peers''. Those peers would be the newly minted z''uush citizens. I ampletely certain that you would all be subjected to your plete re-education'' as you so tastefully call it. Personally, I would prefer death. Running is your only chance. Who knows, you might be the first to pull it off."

    "But the Federation..."

    "Oh yeah, the Federation will try to stop them, but I''ve looked at the charts, and there are simply not enough ships that can get here fast enough to do much. By the time enough of a force gets here to do anything, your system will be a smoking ruin, and <em>you will be dead</em>. What happens after the Federation gets here is the only unknown. There may be war. There may not. Who knows. What I do know is that the Terrans absolutely do <em>NOT</em> give a <em>fuck</em> one way or the other. They aren''t the ones afraid of a new war. We are, and they know it."

    The Defense Secretary started hupping violently.

    "Citizens or not, the Z''uush won''t be permitted to leave until they have paid off their debts!"

    "Are you listening to yourself right now?" Captain Mozzux asked with augh. "They have already addressed that little gem too. They say that you are free to sue any <em>individual </em>for any outstanding debts, and they will not obstruct a trial either in the Federation or the Terran Republic, but they are taking their citizens. Oh, and good luck getting a favorable ruling in either court. The pany store'' isn''t going to fly very far at all, I''m afraid."

    "So you are going to just let them trample us underfoot?"

    "Yup. Thetest from Command is to just hold position and observe to ensure that the Terrans don''t do anything beyond what they have said they will do. If it is any constion, Judiciary is reviewing the documents that were submitted, but it looks like they are airtight¡­ well, airtight enough that we can say they are and pretend that we aren''t backing down from an almost certain ass-kicking. Privately, the documents could just be pictures of their genitals, and it would get the stamp of approval. For all I know, they are. They like to do stuff like that."

    "Without ourbor caste, we are ruined," K''sul''ta''ren said miserably between hups.

    "With every fiber of my being, I can say I truly do not give a fuck. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go shopping for a new muck suit and snorkel."

    ***

    Councilor Skippy was giggling uncontrobly.

    "Oh, whiskers and snot, that is hrious! Terran citizens? I''ve heard of the Terran''s propensity for crime, but to steal an entire poption?!? This is one for the books!" Skippy continued to giggle happily. "Oh, and I love the brownies! These things are even better than popcorn!"

    "Yeah¡­ Grandma makes the best," Jon said with a grin. "Any species that can appreciate a good brownie is almost eptable in my book."

    "Well, I am touched. A Terran <em>animal</em> considers me almost eptable. There is no higher praise," Skippy said between giggles. "There is one huge concern about all of this that the Federation, and far more importantly, <em>I</em> will have. How do we know the Z''uush will be well treated?"

    "Oh, they will be better than well treated," Jon said as he reached into the popcorn bowl. "Mineral extraction and processing is our big industry both for export and for our own consumption. We can''t mine fast enough in our own system, not to mention all of the untouched dead systems in our territory. Skilled miners, smelters, and refinery operators are in high demand, and their pay, benefits, and working conditions are determined by the most powerful of the Terran Gods, the free market. If they aren''t happy with an employer, there is always anotherpany that is hiring. With hourly pay, overtime, and bonuses, they can wind up making more than I do. Besides, unlike you, we don''t keep captives. If they want to go crawling back to the Federation, they can¡­ if they are willing to take the pay cut, who am I to stop them."

    "Well, that''s that, then," Skippy said with a giggle and a nose scrunch. "Oh, one thing. I know all about you, Colonel, and I know all about the people who put you here. You want a war, don''t you? This little stunt in the Z''uush system could have easily started the war you are spoiling for," Skippy said in an even, serious tone.

    "Meh, you weren''t going to do shit," Jon said with an intentionally toothy smile. "We kicked your ass before, and we will do it again."

    "I like you, but let''s get one thing crystal clear, my little brussel sprout. You kicked the Federation''s ass. You didn''t kick <em>our</em> ass," Skippy said as she idly stretched out one of her paws, and three beautifully engraved long metal shod ws slid out. "We have our own fleet and our own army. The only Xvli you will see in those Federation pj''s are those who wanted to y pretend and couldn''t make the cut. The only reason you guys are so bouncy right now is that you didn''t mix it up with <em>us</em>. We knew the war was pellets from the start. Same goes for several other systems. You act stupid enough, and you might get to meet us, and you <em>don''t</em> want that. Oh, and if you ever give me that stupid smile again, I will shove my foot so far up your ass you will have good luck for the rest of your life... ''Kay?" She said with a cute little scrunch of her nose.

    Jon slowly started to genuinely grin. "Hey, I''m about to go grab some lunch. Want toe?"

    "I could eat."

    "I''ll take you to Sammy''s. They have an excellent sd bar."

    "Sammy''s is crap. Let me take you to this Xvli noodle shop down in the dregs. You Terrans think you know noodles, but you don''t know shit."

    "Ok, now it''s on fluffy-butt. There is no way you can back that up. Let''s go."

    ***

    After a long trek through a run-down neighborhood near the starport, Skippy led Jon into a dimly lit hovel where cauldrons of suspicious-looking oily liquid bubbled away. A ragged-looking Xvli smiled and plopped somevender-colored "noodles" in two bowls and topped them with a scoop of... something... and handed it to them along with some mostly clean chopsticks.

    Jon cautiously grabbed up a small portion of "noodles" and tried them.

    It was transcendent.

    "Holy shit," Jon said as he looked down at his bowl in amazement.

    "Told ya," Skippy said with a grin.

 Chapter 6: Kolvacâ€™\â€™ksa and Smithâ€™s Salvage and Recovery

    Chapter 6: Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa and Smith¡¯s Salvage and Recovery

    She''s new Federation ss Twelve Cargo Vessel dropped out of hyperspace, and T''sunk''al crowded the viewing port.

    "What is this ce?" he asked as he surveyed a massive debris field.

    "Oh, this? This is the Sarn system," She said matter-of-factly.

    "The Sarn system?"

    "The site of The Battle of All the Marbles. Thebined Juon Empire and Republic fleets went head to head with the Collective Armada. This is where we broke their backs," She said as she surrendered the controls to Samuels, the team''s best pilot. "The victory was expensive though, almost pyrrhic. Out there is around twenty-five percent of what was then the Republic''s entire fleet, including two Vengeance ss carriers, like the Retribution, along with roughly thirty percent of the Empire''s including six Imperial Dreadnoughts¡­ But they took with them almost all of the Collective Armada. Hundreds of thousands died, but the tide of the Great War changed in just two days. We stopped them right here."

    "You lost carriers?" T''sunk''al asked. "I thought they were indestructible."

    "Nothing is indestructible if you throw enough anti-matter at it. They weren''t vaporized, just trashed to the point they weren''t salvageable. The bugs actually fucked up and tried to board them, which didn''t work out too well for them. They lost most of their warriors in the attempt."

    "It sounds truly horrible."

    "Oh, it was," She said as she bared her teeth in a grin. "It was Hell made manifest. In the end, all the ns and strategy broke down on both sides, and it turned into a pure slugfest, a dogfight with battleships and hand to hand fighting inside them."

    "Were you there?"

    "Nah, I was having my own little party on Corvux Seven,"

    "Corvux Seven?"

    "Didn''t follow the war at all, did you? We took the Corvux System based on the intel that the bugs were up to something big on the surface. They even had queens down there. It all went smooth, and we put a lot of forces on the ground after softening them up with bombardment and airstrikes. We wanted those queens," She said with a rueful smile. "What we didn''t know is that the big thing they were doing on Corvux was making a massive supply depot andmand center for their main armada. About two weeks into our campaign, the whole fucking armada rolled through. We were cut off and stuck on that fucking rock for over two years¡­ two fucking years..." She paused, looking off into space for a while. "Not many of us survived that."

    "I''m surprised that any of you did."

    "So am I." Sheughed. "We all thought we were toast. Some people tried to hide and wait for rescue. Others, however, decided that we were dead and that we would do as much damage and take as many of those fuckers along with us as we could. So we threw together a gang of Terrans, Juon, a few Kalesh, and whatever else managed to survive those first few days and were up for a fight, and we brought the pain." Sheughed again. "The really funny thing is that the ones that tried to hide were wiped out, and groups like ours were the only ones that survived. Life is funny sometimes."

    She paused to take a sip of coffee.

    "Actually, a lot of my crew are from Corvux. We looked each other up after that bullshit treaty with the Feds. We don''t exactly go feral like you Z''uush, but certain experiences give us¡­ perspective¡­ that serves us quite well in our line of work."

    "Yeah, the Terran doctors have other names for that ''perspective''," Samuelsughed.

    "I prefer to call it an ''alternative mentality''," She said with a chuckle. "Anyway, it''s nothing that a bottle of whiskey and a blunt can''t fix¡­ And the next job, of course. Speaking of, I understand we have been put out of business by our beloved Republic. We need toe up with a new angle."

    "Pity," Samuels said. "You Z''uush made us a lot of bank."

    "Are you displeased that our plight hase to an end?" T''sunk''al asked as he flicked his eyestalks in their version of a raised eyebrow.

    "What? No. We would have done a lot more if we could, but we are just one outfit. We were able to get you arms and provide a means to pay for them, but that''s about it," She shrugged. "The fact that we were able to profit from the whole deal was a nice plus. Running our own little private war ain''t cheap. Not only did you finance your cause, but you provided us with the means to continue ours as well. Our mission involving you isplete. Now we just need toe up with a new one," She said with a predatory smile. "Don''t worry. We will find another nice juicy, soft spot to strike soon enough."

    "You do all of this just to continue to fight the Federation? Do you hate them that much?"

    "You are goddamn right I do!" She snarled. "Those shitstains sat back and let us and the Empire bleed ourselves white fighting back the fucking bugs even though their asses were next if we failed. They just sat back and watched as we protected all of civilized space," She spat as she stood up and started to pace. "Then what do they do? After we damn near broke ourselves stopping the biggest goddamn threat in our generation, after we lose over seventy percent of our fleet, ny-four percent of our marines, and sixty-eight percent of our army, what do they fucking do? They stab us in the back! Theyunch a surprise attack on our shipyards, repair stations, and military garrisons! I lost friends! Good people! People who survived Corvux, survived here, survived the whole goddamn Hell that was the great war only to be murdered while they were sleeping in their bunks or drinking a fucking cup of coffee! They had made it... They survived¡­ They¡­ m-my people were supposed to be safe¡­ GODDAMN THEM TO HELL!"

    She mmed her fist into the bulkhead with tears in her eyes.

    T''sunk''al backed away instinctively as he witnessed a Terran on the brink. He nced over to Samuels and saw something even more terrifying, apletely nk, totally emotionless void where a bright, bubbly person once stood. Samuels was gone, and something else was standing there instead.

    "We don''t care that the Republic decided that they were done with the Federation. We don''t fucking care. We aren''t done! We will never be done! The Federation will fucking BURN!" She shouted as blood dripped between her fingers and onto the deck.

    "Goddamn right, ma''am." Samuels quietly replied. "We will watch them burn¡­ all of them."

    T''sunk''al stood frozen to the spot, unable to breathe. Something deep within him clicked as She screamed. Images of friends, family, the love of his life¡­ worked to death in the mines or killed in their desperate struggle¡­ Senseless deaths¡­ Needless deaths¡­ He had never really stopped to think. He never had the chance. But he realized that he was angry. Oh, he had known he was angry but only then did he fully realize he was fucking enraged. She was right. They had begged the Federation for help multiple times. The result? The pleas always fell on deaf ears, and the Z''uush that made the attempt were always imprisoned and "re-educated". When things got so bad they finally had to take matters into their own hands, what did the Federation do? Send fucking warships. She was right. They had to burn. It was the only thing that made sense. They had to burn.

    "You are right, human-friend She," He said in a calm, even voice. "What they allowed to happen to us, what they did to us, what they would still be doing to us except for you and the Republic, it was¡­ it is unforgivable. So many of us died and not just in our war but in what came before. They aren''t what they im to be. All of their supposed ideals¡­ are shit. They need to be hurt the way we were hurt. They need to be punished¡­ D-do you¡­ Do you¡­ Do you have an opening in your crew?"

    She looked at T''sunk''al and sighed sadly.

    "You are a phenomenal pilot and amazing in a fight. I would be happy to have you but are you sure? Right now, you are a noble freedom fighter, a fucking hero. Run with us and you trade that in for something a lot darker," She said as sheid a hand on T''sunk''al''s scarred carapace. "There is no going back."

    "There is already no going back. I''ve already ''changed'' thanks to the Federation. I''m not the same person I was before all of this. I''ve lost everything, including myself, thanks to them. I''ve been wondering for quite some time what would happen to me if we won, and now that we have, I still have no purpose beyond what I have be. I''m a blockade runner, a drug dealer, and a killer. I can''t return to polite Z''uush society, and to be perfectly honest, I don''t want to. I want in."

    "Ok, sounds like you really thought about it. It has to be put to a vote, but I''m pretty sure-"

    "He has my vote even if I don''t like thepetition," Samuels interjected. "That''s apliment, by the way."

    "A vote? Aren''t you in charge?" T''sunk''al asked.

    "Me? I can barely control these animals on a good day," She said as she walked to the medical supplies. "I''m ''in charge'' in tactical situations. When we n and perform an op, or the shit hits the fan, I call the shots. In our day-to-day operations, we decide things by consensus. Everyone has their area of expertise or official job, and any questions beyond that go to a vote. That includes new partners, but we could definitely use another kick-ass pilot and navigator. We will make it official once we reach our destination as our first order of business," She exined as she bandaged her hand.

    "Where is our destination?"

    "In there," She said with a grin as she pointed towards one of the greatest concentrations of debris. "Our destination is the Vengeance."

    "Wasn''t it destroyed?"

    "Oh, it''s a burned-out hull now but, once the Terran recovery teams finished clearing out or destroying all of the ssified stuff or anything else they wanted, they abandoned it. It was just too fucking huge to vaporize. It was more trouble than it was worth. Enterprising individuals refurbished the main power nt and sealed off enough of it to make one Hell of a space stationpletely off the map. It''s a great ce to buy and sell munitions, equipment, and ships or to justy low for a while. The hotels and restaurants are a bit pricey, though. We usually just stay on the ship unless we feel indulgent. Even a brigand can use a spa day."

    "We just got thetest approach. Our guys are holed up at Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa and Smith''s Salvage and Recovery." Samuels said over her shoulder as sheid in the new course.

    "That''s another nice thing about the Vengeance. There is so much debris, unexploded munitions, and other assorted hazards around it that, without thetest information, getting to it is a long, slow, and dangerous proposition," She said as she grabbed a mango from one of the pallets of Terran produce filling the ss Twelve. "That''s why we like it there. You can jump out once you are clear, but it will take days to get in there without thetest map. We could also go to Sarn 2. The bugs never got their hooks into it, so it is still a nice ce, but with all the orbital debris, the approach is pretty hairy on the best day, and the prices suck. The only reason to go down there is that you are desperate for outside and are so much of a fugitive you can''t go anywhere else. That being said, we did have a nice camping trip down there once for exactly that reason."

    "Got their hooks into it?"

    "You don''t know a lot about the Collective, do you? The Collective doesn''t conquer or enve. They terraform. Any pre-existing life is just an inconvenience to them. The first thing they do ispletely eliminate the existing ecosystem and put their own in ce. Most of the worlds they took areplete wastnds now," She shrugged. "I''ve never seen a bug world, but from what I hear, they suck even when they are finished. They didn''t make it to Sarn 2, so it''s still intact. Since it has been mostly abandoned, the world has be a true wilderness again. The sight of nature reiming the empty Juon cities is magnificent," She said as she looked over at Samuels at the helm. "You know, we should get back down there sometime."

    "Only if you do the piloting. I''m not doing that shit again. We almost got wiped out by what was left of a Shrike, or did you forget that part?"

    "Hey, that''s what we have the new guy for," She said as she gave T''sunk''al''s carapace a rough p.

    "If we all die, then there will be nobody left who can find me at fault. I''m game," T''sunk''al said with a casual shrug.

    "Hey, you''re fitting in already," She said with augh. "I''m going to grab a grapefruit. Anyone want anything while I''m back there?"

    ***

    T''sunk''al''s eyes, all of them, dted in surprise as they approached the wreck of the Vengeance.

    "I knew that your carriers were big¡­ but damn..." He said in awe.

    "Yeah, everyone has that reaction the first time they see one up close. The thing actually has a slight gravitational field. That is why all that stuff is sticking to it." She said as they got into their ce in line.

    "I am surprised. I wasn''t expecting so many ships."

    "Oh, this system is pretty busy. Think about it. With twenty-five percent of the Terran fleet, thirty percent of the Imperial fleet, and all of those Collective ships, this is a scrounger''s paradise. If you are willing to brave unexploded mines, armed nukes, auto-turrets with self-contained power cells, and whatever abominations the Collective have in their shit, you can still find treasures here. Hell, the scrap metal alone is worth trillions. There are scores of scavengers out there on any given day."

    "And the Empire allows this? Isn''t this their territory?"

    "Yes, it is, and no, they don''t. This system is officially off-limits, but once the Empire and the Terran recovery teams were done securing the good stuff and blowing up what they could, the blockades went on their way. They wille through every now and then and throw out some mines, but it''s really more trouble than it''s worth for them. They are much more interested in patrolling the borders and rebuilding than they are guarding a pile of debris that kills a lot of the people stupid, greedy, or crazy enough to go digging around in there."

    Samuels veered out of the line as a massive set of doors opened in the side of the hull. She easily fit the ss Twelve into the cavernous opening. T''sunk''al just stared as they entered.

    "How thick is that armor?"

    "Around five hundred meters, give or take. They say they actually beefed it up on the newer ones. The Retribution''s armor is so thick that Federation scanners can''t prate it even if the shields are down. It just shows up as solid on their readouts."

    "How can it even move?"

    "I have no fucking idea," She shrugged. "The carrier''s propulsion system and main gun are some of the most closely guarded secrets the Republic has. Nobody I know has even seen the engines, and if you get too close or they catch you trying to scan them, you can expect to suck vacuum for your efforts. Seriously, you have a better chance of getting into Terran Intelligence Headquarters than you do getting into a carrier''s engine room. Here, they turned the huge gaping hole the recovery teams left in the engine''s ce into a really nice greenhouse and some lovely vis. Don''t know much about the engines except that they were huge." She said as she cut into another mango. "I haven''t seen the engines, but I have seen the power nt. This ce can damn near feed a. It could be just pure Terran brute force. It has the power for it."

    Samuels expertlynded the ship next to the Paper Tiger. She winced. Her ship was partially disassembled, with parts lying everywhere. Samuels looked over at She and grinned.

    "Looks like the chief is at it again, boss," She said with augh.

    "Goddammit¡­ This happens every fucking time I turn my back on him," She grumbled. "I wonder how much of our money he spent this time."

    She opened the hatch and stepped out into a huge hangar bay. Some Z''uush children ran past kicking a ball, and a few more were ying with a strange furry creature that ran around squeaking excitedly as some local vendors of a dozen different species wandered about hawking their wares. The Z''uush had set up a little camp fashioned from shipping containers and tarps, and most were standing around arge open fire grilling meats and vegetables on long skewers.

    A Z''uush female ran up excitedly.

    "I am so d you are all safe! I feared I would never see you again!" she eximed.

    She addressed the entire group, but her gaze was fixed firmly on T''sunk''al, who shifted ufortably.

    "Oh, we got away eventually¡­ No worries¡­" T''sunk''al mumbled, shifting back and forth.

    She grinned at him. She hadn''t seen him get nervous in quite some time.

    "Oh! Your shell!" The female gasped as she reached out and touched the fresh cracks on his carapace. Apparently, a Z''uush can blush. Who knew.

    "No¡­ no big deal. I just¡­ I just grabbed some repair resin when we were on Terra. It''s good as new," T''sunk''al mumbled and actually hupped once.

    The female giggled and quickly pulled her maniptor away.

    "You were on Terra?" she asked with a dozen wide eyes.

    "Yeah, we had some business there¡­ no big deal."

    "Wow!" she enthused and then hupped. "I''m¡­ I''m going to go and check on the children..." she giggled and ran off.

    She elbowed T''sunk''al.

    "Looks like someone could have a little fun there, T," she said wickedly.

    "Wha? P-please¡­ She is half my age."

    "She legal?"

    "What do you mean¡­ Oh!... Y-yes¡­ She c-can c-consent¡­ (hic)."

    T''sunk''al was hopping back and forth like he was on his first arms deal.

    "Well¡­ run that blockade, dude!" She pped him on the back while the reassembled crewughed. "Chief! Where the fuck are you!" An eyestalk popped out from under one of the engines.

    "Down here."

    "What are you doing under that engine that clearly isn''t one of ours, right next to those other two engines that clearly aren''t ours?"

    "Um¡­ they are now?" The rest of the crew chuckled as they backed away.

    "Oh, those are very nice engines," She said dubiously. "Juon seraphims. Very, very nice." The chief quickly pulled his eyestalk back under the engine. "Exactly how much did those cost?"

    "We got a great deal on them."

    "How much?"

    "The improvements to our performance will be amazing."

    "How much?"

    "Our old ones were getting worn, and I couldn''t change the drive signatures again without extensive retooling."

    "How much?"

    "...fortyfivemillioncredits..."

    "FORTY-FIVE MILLION CREDITS?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!? GET OUT HERE!!!"

    "No. I think I will stay under here for a while," the chief wisely replied.

    She stomped over to the engine and threw herself down onto the deck, halfway squirming under the engine after him.

    "It wasn''t just the engines," The Kalesh engineer said defensively as he retreated further into the machinery. "We got a great deal on the engines, but the power nt wasn''t big enough, so we got a new one, and then we had to buy some structuralponents so we could handle the new thrust. Of course, now our eleration is much better, so we needed some new inertial dampeners..." The chief paused for breath and then continued. "Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa had this great new hyperdrive and cloak that we could get on the cheap that we could now power with the new nt, so that was a no-brainer. Of course, the new hyperdrive needed a new navigationalputer to handle the extra jump range, so we absolutely had to get one of those. After all that, I figured why not get a new control console andms so our signature will bepletely different."

    "That''s more than the fucking ship is worth! We could have bought a whole new ship for that!"

    "Yeah, but it wouldn''t be nearly as badass as this one will be once I modify and install all of this new gear!"

    "That''s nearly all of our operating budget, you jackass, and we are out of fucking business! The Republic just ended the Z''uush insurrection once and for all!"

    "¡­ oh¡­"

    "Yeah, asshole, that''s right," She fumed. "You better fucking hope I can get a good price for that ss twelve, and it''s cargo, or it''s ramen noodles for all of us!"

    She rose to her feet and confronted the rest of the crew.

    "And you assholes just fucking let him do this shit?" she demanded angrily.

    "We put it to a vote and decided it was a good move," Greg, the quartermaster, replied. "The new engines will let us take off in less than a minute, and the new hyperdrive and nap will let us jump in half the time we used to. If we could have done that, we wouldn''t have had to bust your ass out of jail. We could have just shoved the Z''uush on board and gotten the fuck out of there. Abandoning you didn''t sit well with any of us."

    She just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. They had a point, and nobody expected the Republic to swoop in like they did.

    "Well, you knuckleheads have done dumber things with our cash, and thatunch time wille in handy. We also got a pretty decent payday from Republic Intelligence for that data grab, so we aren''tpletely broke," She said with a shrug. She looked around. "Where is Roberts? He get here yet?"

    "Yeah, he beat you here by two days, and we already sold the Stancer he boosted, so that''s a bit of coin in our pockets too. He''s in the main station with some of the Z''uush, getting groceries and some toys, clothes, and other sundries for our new guests. They didn''t bring much, and most of that was left behind when we had to scoot. Some of these guys only had what they were wearing."

    "Nice of you guys. Well, at least we are all in one ce and with all of our bits still attached," She said with a smile, "Even if our war chest is damn near empty, thanks to you asshats."

    She then turned to face the single eyestalk cautiously peeking out from underneath the engine.

    "How long to get the old gal back together?"

    "Should take less than a week. We have the run of Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa''s shop. He has been surprisingly generous with his tools and equipment," the chiefughed.

    "Oh, I bet he has," She said with an exaggerated eye roll. She then turned to T''sunk''al and wrapped her arm around him. "Before you assholes give me a stroke, I need a vote on something..."

    ***

    "Well, that''s settled then," She said after what was probably the fastest vote in their history. Everybody knew T''sunk''al and what he could do at the helm, and the shoot-out after theirst deal went sideways sealed the deal. "We got a new number two pilot and primary navigator."

    She turned to T''sunk''al.

    "Ok, T, go grab some gear. We still have a mountain of stuff we didn''t offload before that cruiser showed up."

    Arge shambling white furry mound waddled up and extended four beefy arms.

    "She! d to see they sprung you. I was worried," it croon-bellowed.

    "You should be more worried that I escaped. Forty-five million credits? Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa, I should shank you," She said with a smile as she settled into a huge warm furry embrace.

    "You object? Yourpany was quite specific in their order," Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said as She practically disappeared into his body.

    "Yeah yeah. I''ve already had a chat with my crew," a muffled voice filtered out through the deep fur.

    "I heard. I figured I would give you guys a few minutes before I greeted you this time," Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksaughed as he allowed She to escape.

    "So, buddy¡­ My old and dear friend," She said with a big smile as she gestured at the ss twelve. "What do you say we just do a swap and call it even?"

    "Oh, you Terrans and your wonderful sense of humor. I can''t give you more than five million for that."

    "Five million? Have you been sniffing cont again? Just look at that beauty!"

    "I am. Federation ss Twelve Cargo ships are used solely by the Federation. They don''t sell them on the civilian market. So while I am truly impressed that you snatched one, it is and will always be clearly stolen. Just swapping a fewponents and recalibrating the engines won''t cut it this time, my friend. My only hope is to scrap it for parts."

    "Don''t give me that! You can sell it anywhere on the edge. The Federation doesn''t touch Imperial space, and the Empire doesn''t give enough of a shit to do anything unless someone parks it next to the pce," She said as she scratched his chin. "Hell, I bet you could sell it to scavengers, and it would never leave the system."

    "Your scritches won''t sway me this time, temptress," Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said as he growled in satisfaction and leaned forward for more. "Ok, for you, I will make some inquiries and see if I can find a buyer. Twenty-five percentmission."

    "Thanks, sweetie," She said with a big grin. "So, how is Ms. Smith doing?"

    "Growing like a weed. She is nearly as tall as her father was," Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said, preening with pride. He had raised her as his own ever since her father, his first business partner, died while exploring a Collective warship. "It is clear that she inherited her father''s technical ability and business savvy. She is already a valuable business partner and will do the Smith name justice."

    "Great, I will have to deal with two of you again if one wasn''t enough. Where is the little sprout anyway?"

    "Not sure. She should be assessing salvage, but she is probably running around with the juvenile Z''uush again. I shouldn''t be so indulgent, but it isn''t often she has so many creatures at her point in their development with which to cavort."

    "Well, aren''t you just a big old softy!"

    "Considering how cruelly you take advantage of me, you should already know that," Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said with augh.

    "Oh, please..."

    At that moment, a tween with a wild tangle of red hair and wearing a greasy blue jumpsuit ran up.

    "Kolvac, we have a problem!" She grabbed him, pulled him away, and started frantically whispering at him.

    "Well, let them in," He said in a rather grave tone. He turned to She. "It appears that we have a guest. More precisely, you have a guest. I am out of here." With that, Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa beat a hasty retreat as the atmospheric retaining field flicked on and the massive bay doors started to open.

    The doors opened, and nothing happened. Nothing seemed to enter. Then, they could all hear the faintest humming noise, and a stiff breeze blew past.

    Suddenly, a long, lean, jet-ck frigate appeared before them, less than fifty meters away.

    "Well, fuck." She said in a quiet calm voice. Nobody moved or spoke except for T''sunk''al.

    "Shouldn''t we arm ourselves?"

    "No point," She said quietly. "That is an Imperial Stalker, a Nightguard ship."

    "Nightguard?"

    "Fuck, I like you, T., but I don''t feel like another lecture right now. They will kill us. All you need to know."

    "Besides," Greg said, "we have a hangar deck full of civvies, and there is a very firmw here saying that you don''t directly oppose the Juon Empire when they show up. So we won''t be wee here ever again if something happens even if we do survive, which we wouldn''t."

    The Stalker made a perfectly silentnding. A hatch opened without a sound, and two Juon exited the ship and approached. T''sunk''al cocked his eyes curiously. He had never seen one before.

    "They are so wriggly," he whispered.

    "Yeah, they look funny but don''t be fooled. They will fuck you up. Now please be quiet," Samuels whispered back.

    "Showtime," She whispered as she stepped forward to meet the Juon.

    ***

    Captain Zzuural stepped onto the deck along with Lieutenant Guzz. The Captain calmly surveyed the scene before him. A Federation craft along with several humans wearing no uniform. Surely the Federation wouldn''t be so stupid as to trespass so deeply into Imperial space, but stupid did seem to be the Gctic Federation''s stock in trade these past few years. While not officially at war, the Empire held the same view of the Federation as the Terran Republic and for exactly the same reason.

    Those Feds were about to die.

    "Is everyone ready, Lieutenant?"

    "Yes, Captain." Zzuural briefly nced back at the Lieutenant with satisfaction. She was a promising Juona, already a Nightguard officer at her age.

    "Good. Keep ready with that stopwatch. Hopefully, we will get to have a nice little live-fire exercise. I relish the chance to cook some Federation long-pork."

    "Long-pork?"

    He nced back at her. "You are unfamiliar with the term? It''s what our Terran friends call the humans in the Federation. They are also called ''porkies''. They are quite the vile slurs. I rmend adopting them."

    "Yes, sir. I will at once."

    The Captain wrinkled his eyes in a smile at her response. He found her formality amusing as always. One of the humans approached them. He casually flipped open the catch on his de. The human''s courage was admirable. He would reward them with a proper death. Porkie or not, courage should be respected and deserved ceramic. He felt his pulse starting to rise. He lost a lot of human friends on "Red Sunday", and it would be nice to spill a little blood in their honor.

    He suddenly stopped and stared inplete surprise. His chromatophores unconsciously flickered, and yellow pinpricks of surprise contrasted starkly against his normal disciplined nightguard ck hide.

    "Stand down. Repeat. Everyone stand down."

    "Sir?" Lieutenant Guzz asked. She was shocked at the speckles of color on her Captain''s skin. She had never seen that before, regardless of the situation.

    "These aren''t porkies." The Captain said, his eyes scrunched in the biggest smile she had ever seen.

    The Captain increased his pace towards the human female. The female stopped, and her eyes widened. Guzz wasn''tpletely familiar with human bodynguage, but it was clearly a deviation from how she moved a second before.

    "Major Donovan?" Captain Zzuural said as his skin started to ripple with yellow waves of astonishment.

    "Holy shit! Commander¡­ fuck... Captain Zzu!" the human eximed joyously.

    The Lieutenant looked on in shock as her Captain rushed forward and wrapped his tentacles around the human who returned the embrace. She was so stunned that her skin shifted from Nightguard ck to a muted charcoal gray for a full five seconds.

    "Captain?" The woman asked as she hugged Captain Zzuural. "Damn, exactly how much semen did you have to drink to get that on your cor?"

    The Lieutenant''s skin shed red ever so briefly. Her Captain justughed as he released the human.

    "Oh, only as much as your grandfather drank every single day as he knelt before us," Zzuuralughed as he swatted her yfully.

    "And exactly how did that work for you? Has the Imperial honor recovered from the assshing we handed you yet?"

    The Lieutenant couldn''t remain silent.

    "You did not ''kick our ass''! We graciously decided to negotiate a peaceful-"

    "Kid, I was there, and I know an assshing when I receive one. We lost," The Captainughed, rippling with amusement. "We lost, and we lost big time."

    The Lieutenant couldn''t control her chromatophores, and green rings of irritation danced across her skin.

    "Yeah," She responded, "We weren''t conquered, and you didn''t lose. We each allow the other their illusions, but in truth, the Empire totally rolled over us like aden transport, andter wepletely mopped the floor with your ass."

    The Lieutenant''s skin now had green rings rippling past green rings.

    "Rx, Lieutenant," Captain Zzuural said with a smile. "There is no lost honor. We were fighting the Terrans, a very fearsome opponent, on their home turf."

    He patted a tentacle affectionately.

    "The Imperial honor can handle one loss per thousand years as long as it is against something like the Terrans. We''ll get them next time."

    "In your dreams, Zzu." She snorted. "Too bad we have so many other asses tosh before we can have that rematch."

    "Yes, the universe seeks to keep us quite upied in that regard," Captain Zzuural said with a grin. "Speaking of, would you mind enlightening me concerning that ss Twelve. We thought you all to be porkes and were about to have a luau."

    "We stole it," She said, returning his grin.

    "Stole it?" Captain Zzuural said in confusion.

    "Sir, you need to see this," Lieutenant Guzz said as she handed the Captain a data tablet.

    "Wow, She," the Captain said as he read the report, "I suppose congrattions are in order. You''ve seem to have made the most interesting transition to civilian life."

    "Yeah, we like to keep busy."

    "I''m astonished. For you, of all people, to abandon the Republic, to be a¡­ a¡­."

    "A hardened criminal?"

    "Yes. The She I knew was many things but a criminal?"

    "I resigned mymission immediately after that horseshit treaty. When we decided to just stop and let them off the hook, that was it. My whole fucking battalion was massacred on Red Sunday. Boris, Twitchy, Glitter Eyes, Susan, Skittles¡­ Colonel Lassiter and his entire family... All of them just wiped out. The only reason I''m here is that I decided to¡­ Decided to take the weekend off."

    Captain Zzuuralid a tentacle on She''s shoulder. "There was nothing you could have done."

    "They survived Corvux. They survived Corvux and all the rest only to be killed in their sleep, Zzu. A lot of good people were murdered for absolutely no good reason after we damn near gutted ourselves, stopping the bugs," She said with hate in her voice. "Then, after a little p on the wrist, we decide to let the Feds off? Fuck that. I just took a walk."

    She grinned wickedly.

    "So¡­ After bing a civilian, I came across some like-minded individuals and..."

    "Just like Corvux..." Captain Zzuural said, his skin rippling with amusement and malice.

    "Basically. We decided that the Feds got off light, and we were going to do something about it. And we have."

    "You say that, but I''m not seeing that here, just filth like a lot of drug trafficking, piracy, and illegal arms sales. It is hardly the noble cause you describe."

    "Hey, waging our own little campaign is expensive," She shrugged, "Drugs pay the bills, not to mention that poison goes right into the veins of the porkies. Our drugs have killed more porkies than our bullets ever could. Those arms sales? Those have all gone to the hands of the right people. We''ve supplied a lot of guns, rockets, grenades¡­ nukes¡­ to people who either want to make trouble in the Federation or take a shot at the Federation itself. Arms dealing is a force multiplier. As far as the piracy goes, I can assure you that the targets aren''t random."

    She looked at her old friend.

    "I can see your disapproval, but the ends justify the means," she said. "I walked away from honor when I walked away from the uniform. These days, anything goes. If we can do damage, any damage, or make a buck at their expense, then we do it."

    "I cannot condone your actions. I nearly weep to see what you have be, but I do understand your decisions and considering your motive," Captain Zzuural said as he looked at the tablet in his tentacle, "you have done damage, a pretty good bit of it."

    "Yeah, and you probably don''t have thetest information. We just drew blood. We areying low after what was the single best strike we have ever made," She said with a grin. "We also are no longer wanted by the Republic. I just got back from Terra after having a long heart-to-heart with some people. As long as we don''t get caught doing something stupid, they won''t be looking for us anymore."

    "Ok. I believe you. Again, I won''t say that I approve, but I ept it. These are dark days, and I will not judge. You do what you must."

    "Sir, you can''t possibly..." The Lieutenant interjected.

    "Can''t possibly do what?"

    "We can not ignore this. These are wanted-"

    "I determine that this is an independent para-military group opposing the Federation, not simple criminals. They aren''t wanted in the Empire, and they maintain that they are not wanted in the Republic. They are officially not our concern. We investigated a Federation craft in Imperial space and have determined that they are not Federation agents and a stolen Federation spacecraft is again, not our concern."

    "But, sir, you only have her word for it and-"

    "Careful, Lieutenant. I said they are not our concern. I know this human very well, and I know when she is lying, and she isn''t."

    "How do you know her?"

    "I was on Corvux. I ran with her for two years. She is a true warrior and worth the benefit of the doubt."

    "You were on Corvux?" The Lieutenant asked in surprise.

    "Yep. My ship got blown apart, and by some miracle, my escape pod survived Collective target practice and made it to the surface," the Captain said matter of factly. "I met the Terrans and worked with Major Donovan and Colonel Lassiter for the whole time. She could be guilty as Hell, and I would still let her walk, but I do believe her."

    The Lieutenant''s skin radiated misery. The Captain smiled as heid a tentacle on one of hers.

    "Look, if it will smooth your colors, I will make a level one query to Imperial Intelligence. They will know the truth," he said reassuringly, and then he gestured to the Paper Tiger. "Besides, look at their actual ship. They aren''t going anywhere soon. We have time to figure all of this out."

    "Well, I do have one way of verifying my story," She said with an impish grin. She remotely opened the ss Twelve''s cargo hatch and beckoned them inside.

    ***

    Captain Zzuural''s eyes widened in happy surprise.

    "By the Empress," He whispered in awe as he beheld the cargo.

    "Clearly, we have been to Terra and recently," She said as she grabbed a coconut and tossed it to the Captain.

    He snatched it out of the air and tucked it under his body as his beak started tearing through the husk. His skin rippled with pure delight as he began to slurp away at the coconut water.

    "Oh yeah," he said happily as he demolished his prize. "Yep. They have been to Terra." She then tossed one to the Lieutenant who caught it and looked at it dubiously.

    "You like coconut?" The Captain asked, knowing the answer. Coconut was a vor universally adored by the Juon.

    "Yes, sir?"

    "Well, you haven''t ever actually tasted real coconut before."

    "I have, sir," the Lieutenant said, rippling with irritation. "When I graduated officer school, my creche celebrated with a cake covered with real shaved-"

    "Just be quiet and eat." The Lieutenant cautiously put the odd thing she was given underneath herself.

    "No, like this," the Captain said as he grabbed another coconut and tilted himself back, revealing his damp glossy beak.

    The Lieutenant was scandalized at her Captain''s inappropriate disy. She had never seen his beak before. Rippling with embarrassment, she copied the way he ripped into the coconut.

    Momentster, her eyes scrunched nearly closed as waves of joy danced across her skin.

    "This, my dear Lieutenant, is a real, fresh, juicy, delicious coconut straight from beautiful Terra herself. Our dastardly viin has indeed been there."

    He nced over at the Lieutenant and wondered if she even heard him.

    "I think she needs a minute," She said with augh as she rolled another coconut the Lieutenant''s way.

    "My dearrade, any chance you may be willing to sell a few pallets of these treasures to some hard-working, loyal servants of the Empire?" The Captain asked.

    "Absolutely not!" She said with a smile. "You take what you want, old friend. You guys deserve a treat. In fact, let''s have that luau."

 Chapter 7: Terran Hospitality

    Chapter 7: Terran Hospitality

    Toby was making a fresh pot of Terran green tea when Commander Morgana Farstan walked into the Embassy.

    "Excuse me, I am Commander Farstan of Federation Intel-"

    "Get lost, <em>porkie</em>," Toby said without even looking at her.

    "<em>Excuse me</em>?"

    "You heard me," Toby replied, keeping his back to her. "Leave before you spoil the tea."

    "I am an official of the Gctic Federation, and I have important busi-"

    "Dressing an animal in people clothes makes for an amusing ga video but usually isn''t sent on anything resembling ''important business''," Toby said as he calmly poured himself a cup of tea. "Oh, where is my hospitality?" He went to the cab, pulled out a bowl, filled it with water, and set it down. "There."

    He returned to his desk. Morgana Farstan shook with rage.

    "Look, asshole, I don''t know who the fuck you think you are, but I demand to speak with Ambassador Wintersmith!"

    Toby ignored her and sipped tea as he lounged on his stool. Morgana started to turn red with anger.

    "I am here on official business representing the Gctic Federation and will not be treated in this manner!"

    Toby just sighed and cocked one eyestalk up at her. He then reached into a desk drawer, pulled out a food bar, flipped it across the room where itnded next to the water and started paging through documents.

    "Don''t you fucking dare ignore me!! Who the fuck do you think you are!" Morgana shouted.

    "I think I am a citizen of the Terran Republic. Unlike you feds, we have standards, and while my position here in the Embassy requires tolerance, I refuse to lower myself to the level where I will deal with something like you. I can''t throw you out, but I will be <em>damned</em> if I speak to you any further. Wait if you must but try not to touch anything. I pride myself in keeping the lobby clean."

    "The ambassador will hear of this!" Morgana snarled.

    Toby quietlyughed.

    "Oh dear, <em>please</em>, don''t do that," He chuckled and then returned to his work.

    Morgana ranted and raved, but Toby didn''t even bother to look up at her. Finally, after a few minutes, she trailed off into enraged silence.

    About half an hourter, loud humanughter and high-pitched giggling echoed down the hallway outside the entrance.

    "We Terrans have a word for that," Jon said as he entered the lobby.

    "The Xvli just call it a good weekend," Skippy said as theyughed and giggled, respectively.

    Theirughter suddenly stopped as they made eye contact with Commander Farstan.

    "Ambassador, Councilor," Morgana said as she stepped forward.

    Skippy just raised an eyebrow at her and scrunched her nose distastefully.

    "Well, Jon, I don''t want to be a witness. Too much paperwork. Later," Skippy said as she booped him on the arm and bounced off.

    "Ambassador-"

    "Toby, what is this thing doing in the lobby?"

    "Not sure, sir. I tried giving it water, but it wouldn''t leave."

    Jon pointed at the food bar.

    "Jesus, Toby, <em>did you feed it?</em>"

    "Ambassador! My name is Commander-"

    "I don''t care what your fucking name is. Get out." Jon said with a snarl as he headed towards his office.

    "Goddammit, you are going to listen to me!" Commander Farstan shouted as she followed Jon into his office.

    "Sir, do you wish me to contact security?" Toby asked.

    "The day I need security to deal with a slice of long-pork is the day I will throw myself out of an airlock. Besides, I want to see where this goes." Jon said as he entered his office, followed by Commander Farstan.

    "Ok, porkie, what the fuck do you want?" Jon said as he sat behind his desk.

    "First of all, you will address me by my name. I am Commander Farstan.¡±

    "Ok¡­ <em>Commander Farstan</em>," Jon said with a chuckle, "what do you want, <em>porkie</em>."

    Morgana tried to suppress her rage. Each time she heard the word "porkie", she wanted to punch someone in the throat.

    "We would like the Republic''s assistance in the location and apprehension of She Donovan and her associates."

    "Oh? Isn''t she already in custody?" Jon asked with a smirk.

    "I think you already know the answer to that."

    "Nope. I have not been officially notified otherwise," Jon said with a grin. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

    "(Sigh) She Donovan escaped with the assistance from two humans posing as Federation Intelligence agents."

    "I''m sorry. I''m a little hard of hearing. Could you repeat that?" Jon asked with a chuckle. "It sounded like you said she escaped¡­ from a secure Federation facility."

    Morgana flushed red with embarrassment and anger.

    "That is correct." She growled.

    "That must be terribly embarrassing for you. Anything else interesting happen around that time?" Jon asked whileughing.

    Morgana flinched but remained silent.

    "I would love to help. I really would," Jon said with a huge smile, "But we stopped looking for her once we thought her to be in custody and closed our investigation. Any leads we have are beyond stale at this point. Sorry, can''t help you."

    "Can''t or <em>won''t?</em>" Morgana asked angrily.

    "Same thing," Jon said with a wolfish smile. "We neither have the resources nor the inclination to help you clean up your mess. This is your problem."

    "She is a Republic citizen, and it''s your responsibility to-"

    "You let her escape. You catch her. It was made quite clear thest time you caught her that our involvement wasn''t wee, so fuck you," Jon said with a pleasant smile. Letting this porkie in was a good idea. This was fun.

    "I know she is your darling of the week, but she and her crew are dangerous criminals. Their actions can be tied to the deaths of <em>thousands</em> of innocent Federation citizens." Morgana said with righteous indignation in her voice.

    "Sounds like we should give her a medal."

    "You can''t be serious! Those were innocent people, you asshole!"

    "A lot of innocent people died when you jerk-offs attacked us. So don''t get all high and mighty now. You are in Intelligence, right? You knew exactly what you were doing when you guys nned the strike, so don''t talk to me about innocent casualties," Jon said calmly as he typed on his keyboard. "Let''s see here¡­ Commander Morgana Farstan¡­ Ah, here you are. Graduated with a 3.85 from Aster University on Kalpha 4, pity what happened to your Alma-mater, by the way," Jon said with a grin.

    Morgana twitched. Kalpha 4, her home, was one of thes visited by the Republic during the war. The was methodically and systematically destroyed by Republic forces. It was going to take decades to rebuild the damage. There was nothing of value left standing when they were done. They even burned down the elementary schools and local libraries. They burned <em>everything</em>.

    "Entered Federation service on your twenty-third birthday. You have been in Intelligence ever since," Jon looked up at her as he spoke, "You''ve had a pretty decent career racking upmendations and flying up the ranks. Says here you are currently working as a handler for covert agents working in the Republic," Jon chortled as he casually ced his hand on his pistol, hidden from view under the desk. "Well, that exins all of the free time you have these days. Is that your motive for trying to arrest Ms. Donovan, trying toe up with a new job?" Jon asked with a smile. "They are dead, by the way, all of them," Jon said as heughed at her.

    Morgana choked back a scream and kept herself from drawing her sidearm and shooting Jon in the face. It wasn''t a surprise that they were dead, but hearing him say it with such pleasure enraged her. Those were good people, and he wasughing about it.

    "Yes, we know that you got your hands on our files, even mine," Morgana said coolly. "If you are fishing for a reaction, you will have to do much better than that."

    "How about this then?" Jon typed on his keyboard again, and the holo-projector in his desk activated. It started ying the executions of her spies, one after another. Morgana leaped to her feet and snarled.

    "You fucking asshole! You think this is funny?" It was all she could do to keep from leaping over his desk and strangling him. Those were her people on that holo.

    "Yeah, pretty much."

    "Fine. We <em>will</em> catch her, and when we do, we <em>will</em> find out where she gets her weapons, where she gets her nukes, and then there will be hell to pay," Morgana said as calmly as she could with only the faintest quiver in her voice.

    "The weaponse from any of hundreds of dealers, all of them unaffiliated with the Republic. As far as the nukes go, she probably gets them from Novae, an illegal storage and production facility whose location is unknown. Those assholes collect, refurbish, and even produce nukes. Now that facility is something that we are looking for and will destroy along with the people responsible for its operation if we find them. We want them gone, trust me. You officially finding that out won''t blow back on us in the slightest," Jon said with a smirk. "Even if she was signing them out of the Republic Arsenal, what the fuck are you do about it?"

    "Might I remind you that we are over one hundred times bigger than your pip-squeak Republic? We can turn your entire Republic into vapor!" Morgana said as she put her hands on Jon''s desk and leaned forward.

    "Didn''t you assholes already try that? You think it was badst time? Pull that shit again and see what happens," Jon said as he leaned forward in his chair, his hand loitering near his sidearm. "We are steadily rebuilding our military, and with each passing month, we are stronger than the Republic that <em>kicked your ass</em>. Bring it," he said with a pleasant smile. "It''s a moot point anyway," Jon continued, "The people of the Gctic Federation and the Council they appoint have absolutely no interest in a rematch, especially after some rather interesting information that has recentlye to light. It will be exceedingly difficult to justify another war. In fact, I am willing to bet that it will be impossible for a very long time," Jon said pleasantly.

    Morgana started to shake with rage. He was right. The people of the Federation felt very deceived concerning the war with the Republic, and any new usations, no matter how well proven, would likely fall t. Any councilors that supported thest war are either already out of office or desperately trying to distance themselves from the mess. Pushing for a new war with the Republic was political suicide.

    "You might be a hundred times bigger, but you can''t catch amon criminal? One hundred times bigger, a huge fleet, a gigantic police force, all of you guys in Intelligence, all of that, and you still can''t catch one little brigand? Christ, that must really sting," Jon said pleasantly. "You want to catch her? Just wait a little bit. She will be returning to the Federation soon to y with you guys some more.<em> I guarantee it</em>."

    "I wonder what she will do next," Jon said as he looked into space thoughtfully. "I bet it will be fucked up. Better catch her before she does it."

    Morgana just stood there in silence as the holo tapes of executions continued to y in front of her.

    "You had better catch her," Jon said with a chuckle, "because whatever she does next won''t be med on the <em>Republic</em>. Instead, it will be med on <em>humans</em>, and guess which humans are the most convenient? The same ones that are already being med for the war," Jon said with that same infuriatingly pleasant smile.

    Jon let the silence build as one of the condemned begged for mercy on the video.

    Morgana turned and walked towards the exit. As she reached his door, she paused.

    "You had better hope that there isn''t a God," she said quietly as sheid her hand on the doorknob.

    "The only God that matters to me is the Republic and her people. Everything else can fucking burn, including myself. That belief is why we won. That belief is what drives She, and that belief is why I won''t lift a finger to stop her."

    "Fuck you," Morgana said quietly as she left. She kept herself ramrod straight as she walked away. As soon as she thought she was clear, she slumped against the wall and held her face in her hands, covering the tears. The images of those executions burned in her mind. What kind of sick fuck would y that tape in front of her? Those were her people. She killed them, along with countless others. She had to be stopped. No matter the cost, by any means, legal or illegal, she had to be stopped. Regardless if she lost her career or even ended up in prison herself, She Donovan had to be stopped, and when she did catch that bitch she would send Ambassador Wintersmith her head in a box. She dried her eyes and stood up straight. This is the way they wanted to y it? Cool. She would y their game. Why the fuck not?

    "So this is what being a Terran feels like," She said as she walked off.

 Chapter 8: The Luau and a History Lesson Part One

    Chapter 8: The Luau and a History Lesson Part One

    The Juon lounged amid a pile of coconut husks and pineapple scraps as they drank beer and pina codas and listened to music. A few more were roasting assorted meats, fruits, and vegetables along with the Z''uush and She''s crew.

    "Here. I made this for you," A female Z''uush handed T''sunk''al a skewer of meat, fruit, and vegetables as she giggled nervously.

    "Oh¡­ (hic), thanks," T''sunk''al replied nervously.

    The female huped and scuttled away.

    "I don''t get you, T.," She said, "You ran Federation blockades in a jury-rigged ore barge, squared off against whole marinepanies, made blind void jumps with no chart, and now a pair of panties has stopped you cold."

    "Panties?"

    "That little p you guys wear over your naughty bits," She said with augh.

    T''sunk''al just huped in reply.

    "Seriously, why aren''t you going for it?" She asked, "I''m not an expert on such things, but she looks¡­ cute."

    "(hic) Oh, she (hic) is. Very cute. (hic) But I shouldn''t..."

    "Ok, T. You do you¡­ literally," She said as she swatted his carapace.

    T''sunk''al gave She a rude gesture to the delight of his new crew.

    "There is something I was wondering," T''sunk''al said desperately trying to change the subject, "The Republic and the Empire are allies, right?"

    "Yep."

    "But they conquered you."

    "Also true."

    "And then you rebelled."

    "They most certainly did." The Juon captain said as he slid another drinking dish of booze underneath him.

    "And you guys had a war?" T''sunk''al asked.

    "Oh hell yeah!" Jessie, a member of the crew, said emphatically. "My grandfather was killed in it."

    "Neither side pulled any punches," Captain Zzuural said. "I was there. Nearly died myself."

    He turned to She.

    "You fuckers were downright nasty," he said as he raised his drinking dish.

    She just smiled and raised her ss.

    "Well, we tried asking nicely, but you fucking wigglies didn''t take the hint," she smirked.

    "Setting fire to Imperial ships and facilities is asking nicely?" The captain asked with augh, ripples of amusement rolling across his skin.

    "And you are now on good terms?" T''sunk''al asked.

    "Yep. We''re tight." She said as she drained her cup.

    "Couldn''t ask for a better ally." The captain said as hepped up his cocktail.

    "I''m sorry, but that doesn''t make sense," T''sunk''al said confusedly.

    "Well, it was a hundred years ago," She said with a shrug.

    "But¡­ but that is less than a generation for either of your species. People alive on both sides today fought each other."

    "Don''t remind me." Captain Zzuuralughed as he turned his head, revealing a faint but veryrge scar. "Damn near got my fucking head blown off."

    T''sunk''al just wiped his eyestalks in confusion.

    "Ok," She said as she filled her ss. "To really understand, we have to start at the beginning."

    "Yeah!" Lieutenant Guzz eximed with a slurred voice, her skin a wild mix of colors. "What really happened back then? I''m starting to sushpect that we don''t have the whole story."

    "Lieutenant, is this your first time experiencing Terran cocktails?" the captain asked with a chuckle.

    "Yesh! These things are amazing! This pia cra is delicioush!"

    "It''s called a pina cda, and yes, they are. They are also quite dangerous. Remember, Terrans have a higher tolerance for alcohol than we do. So you might want toy off of those a little."

    "Hey, you are the one who always shays I need to rx a little," She said as she poked the captain and settled down into her drinking dish.

    "Just don''t say that I did not warn you. Terran cocktails are lethal." The captain said with augh. "You are going to be very unhappy tomorrow. But, at least you have good taste. The Empress loves pina codas.¡±

    "She does?" The lieutenant asked with wide eyes.

    "Yep. That was all she drank when she was negotiating the truce on Hentai Ind."

    "Hentai Ind?"

    "Yeah, that was the prisoner of war camp they set up for us on Terra," the captain said with augh. "I had the pleasure of being a guest of the Terrans for quite a while."

    "Bytheempress!" the lieutenant said with huge eyes. Most of his crew had fallen silent, listening intently. "You were captured by the Terrans? What was it like?"

    "It. Was. Awesome!" The captain enthused. "They had this wonderful ind in one of their oceans near the equator. Coconut trees, tide pools, beautiful sandy beaches, and the guards were incredibly nice. Hell, they would even take us out on their patrol boats so we could go fishing. We had some great housing, but the weather was so nice that most of us just slept outside. They intentionally picked a ce where the climate was perfect for us. Heck, a lot of us even stopped wearing clothes."

    The lieutenant gasped.

    "Hey, we spent most of our time just ying in the water, and swimsuits just got in the way."

    "Why were they so nice to you?"

    "It makes sense if you know the Terrans. We weren''t a threat anymore. I mean, we were on an ind in the middle of the ocean. Where were we going to go?" The captain shrugged. "Also, I think the fact that there were so many mutineers there had something to do with it."

    "MUTINEERS?!?"

    "Yeah, they don''t mention the Terran Mutiny in school. We are all trying to pretend that it didn''t happen," the captain said with a chuckle. "It was the biggest mutiny in recorded history. Hundreds of Juon service members just... quit not counting all of the ones who were ''captured'' under suspicious circumstances." He looked at the stunned expressions of his crew. "As She here just said, we will have to start at the beginning to properly exin it."

    After everyone got their next te of food and a drink, She stood up.

    "Ok, here is how it went down," she said, taking a long drink from her ss. "You Juon showed up in our system during what was the worst time in all of human history, the Sol Wars. It was beyond fucked up."

    She took a drink from her cup and continued.

    "We survived three world wars, an ecological disaster of biblical proportions, a full bore nuclear exchange, and countless other things during our long, tragic, stupid, and bloody history but the Sol Wars..."

    She grabbed a bottle of rum and took a long drink from it.

    "The Sol Wars damn near wiped us out. It was the closest we ever came in recorded history to extinction. We went from a thriving inteary civilization to a burning mass of rubble and dead bodies in a span of ten years."

    "So what happened?" T''sunk''al asked.

    "Well, we were a victim of our own sess. After the big ecological copse in the twenty-first century, we finally got our act together and developed efficient fission andter fusion reactors. Once we had those, we started expanding into the whole sr system in a big way. By thete twenty-second century, we had reactionless thrusters and a big colony on Mars as well as several on Luna. By the mid twenty-third century, we had artificial gravity and massive industrialplexes and other stations across the sr system housing millions and thenter billions of people. We continued to expand happily for centuries. It was a golden age for us. We had limitless resources of every kind, and we just kept expanding. Mars became an independent sovereign state in the twenty-fifth century, and the war for their independence was thest major conflict we had for well over four hundred years."

    She paused as she took another drink.

    "And we just kept fucking expanding, breeding like fucking hyper-roaches. The big problem that nobody saw was that almost all of those stations and colonies off-world weren''t entirely self-sufficient. Oh, they could recycle water easily enough, but most of the food still came from Terra. Good ol'' Terra was the breadbasket of the entire sr system. With gically modified crops and a depressing amount of the surface area bing a giant farm, we were easily able to support the twenty-five billion-"

    "Twenty-five billion!" Captain Zzuural eximed. "The first census of the Sol system only recorded five hundred million humans! There were that many before it happened? I had no idea."

    "Before what happened?" Lieutenant Guzz asked.

    "Fucking Yellowstone," She said with a rueful smile. "On June 23, 2997, at 3:30 AM, the Yellowstone caldera decided to go boom. The supervolcanic eruption wrecked the. It shot an unimaginable amount of dust and ash into the atmosphere burying a lot of North America, home to some major agricultural production areas under ayer of ash and volcanic gasses fucked up the climate of the whole fucking world. Basically, it shut down agricultural production on a global scale for two years. They say we were lucky. It could have been worse."

    "Do bear in mind," Captain Zzuural said, "They never independently developed FTL. This sort of thing does happen very infrequently in the Empire, but we can always ship in food from somewhere else. The Terrans only had one world. There was nowhere else."

    "Exactly," She replied. "The food stopped. Shit got real, and it got real real fast. Adding to the fun was the fact that, believe it or not, there wasn''t a single system-wide government that could respond with any hope of managing the disaster. Hell, there wasn''t even a single government on Terra. It probably didn''t really matter anyhow. Once the food was gone, society went down the shitter."

    "But I don''t understand," one of the Z''uush said. "A geological event on the scale you describe should have been predicted well in advance. How were you all caught off guard?"

    She''s crew started muttering obscenities, and the word "porkie" was clearly audible once or twice.

    "Well, that is a very good question," She said with a smirk. "Another good question is how was it that the richest arcologies on the surface and in orbit just happened to have enough food stockpiled for exactly how long the system-wide famine was supposed to be. Another fascinating question is why did some of the richest and most powerful on the have private shelters simrly stocked. Another question is why some of those same people bought up obscene amounts ofmodities and then had mercenaries in ce to protect them. Yet another great question is how did Mars, one of the colonies that was almost self-sufficient, have blockadesprised of hastily modified freighters in ce the day Yellowstone blew." She said sourly. "Oh, those questions were asked by some very, very pissed off survivors who werepletely unencumbered by the rule ofw just a little whileter, by the way. Needless to say, it didn''t go well."

    "Why? Why would they do that?" A Juon trooper asked in a shocked voice.

    "Well, think like a porkie for a bit. They thought that civilization woulde to an end and that everyone would starve to death. In addition to stockpiling food, a lot of arcologies also recruited people who were in their definition ''gically superior''," She said with augh. "They were going to let the system die and then repopte it with their chosen few. It came as a bit of a shock when the truly ''gically superior'' came knocking, kicked in their doors, and took their shit. Most of the arcologies were either destroyedpletely, their residents ughtered, thrown out, or enved by the new management." She chuckled.

    "There was this one asshole who hoarded a shitload of grain and othermodities and hired a couple of mercenarypanies. He was nning on starting up his own little kingdom once things went boom," Jessie, a member of She''s crew, piped up. "It was a great idea," she continued, "It was such a great idea that the leader of the mercenaries decided to kill the guy and take over the show. That is now the country of Hawkins, where I''m from!" she beamed. "The food was enough to support our founding fathers long enough for them to get a bunch of survivors, a few fusion reactors in ce, and big ass greenhouses built. The rest is history."

    "Wait. You mentioned ''porkies,'' Captain Zzuural said. "Were the Federation humans involved in this?"

    "Yup," She said as she took another mouthful of meat from her skewer. "Federation humans are¡­ undesirables... from the Sol wars. They are either arco-slime, shelter-babies, or people-eating raiders. You know those humans you had to keep in the outer sr system away from the rest of us? It was those assholes. Once the shooting started, they fled to the Federation. They knew what would happen to them if you wigglies left Sol," Sheughed as she drew a single finger across her throat."

    "And thus, the porkies were born," She said with a sneer. "The scum of humanity lead by the scum of humanity. Oh, they like to pretend they are all civilized and proper, but the truth of the matter is that they are either corrupt elitist shits who fucked over the rest of humanity or fucking cannibal raiders or both. There are ''pirs of themunity'' over there that roasted and ate their fellow man just a few decades ago. That''s why we call them ''long-pork''. It''s ng for human meat. Theirtest stunt just fanned the mes of a fire that almost had gone out, but it isn''t the only reason we despise them."

    "Eeemmmppress!" Lieutenant Guzz gasped.

    "Believe it or not, by the time you guys came rolling into Sol, things were calming down."

    "Things were calming down !?!" Captain Zzuural eximed. "The whole system was burning!"

    "Ok, calming down rtive to what had been happening over thest few years," She shrugged. "Pretty much everyone who was going to starve had already done so, and civilization was beginning to get back on its feet."

    "How did any of you not starve? One would think that survival would be impossible." One of the Juon asked.

    "Oh, lotsa ways," She said as she took another drink. Some were fortunate, like the founders of Hawkins or those who captured the Sunrise Arcology. Others, well... There is an old joke from ancient times is that the twost survivors of a global catastrophe would be humans and cockroaches. It wasn''t far from the truth," sheughed. "We looked over at them and said ''So, it''se to this...'' and grabbed a mouthful. There were countless variations on the theme but what it boiled down to is that we ate whatever we could, cockroaches, termites, snails, worms, rats, and of course¡­ fucking algae. I hate fucking algae," She said with a grimace. "We were Salties," she exined. "My grandparents were among those who retreated into a salt mine and used the fusion reactors there to culture algae and snails. Every fucking school break, my grandma would haul us down in that hole and make us grow and eat that shit," she groaned. "She insisted that it was essential we know how ''just in case''."

    Laughter erupted from the humans in She''s crew as they all recounted simr torture at the hands of their survivalist grandparents.

    "Their ability to subsist on what appeared to be nothing was a huge strategic advantage. You couldn''t starve them out. You could blockade a station or have a subterranean fortification under aerial surveince indefinitely. They were just fine in there." Captain Zzuural said, rippling withughter. "If you were involved in such a siege, you had to be very, very careful. If you heard the word ''pulpo'', you ran," The captain said as the older members of his crewughed ruefully.

    "Pulpo?"

    "We um¡­ We bear a very close resemnce to an animal that is on the human''s list of edible creatures," the captain said, much to the horror of his younger troopers.

    One of them gave a nearby human a sidelong nce as they inched away.

    "Then again, just about anything is on the human''s list of edible creatures. On Corvux," he said as he poked She, "it took you guys what, three days without rations before you started grilling up the bugs?"

    "Two days, and you have do have to admit they are pretty tasty," She replied with a grin. "As I recall, you were particrly fond of their brains... but we''re getting off-topic. When you guys showed up, the fight over resources was mostly over, and we were having a polite little discussion over exactly who was going to be in control of Sol from now on. There were two groups left," she said, grabbing a mango. "We had countless smaller settlements rallying behind the banner of Tak Nakamura, founder and CEO of the Zeus Corporation, and on the other side, you had an assortment of warlords, raiders, and upper-crust arcology and shelter typesmanded by Jessica Morgan, a former military officer, and politician."

    She paused as she sliced into the mango.

    "Things were pretty nasty," She mumbled around a mouthful of fruit. "It looked pretty bad at first, but the Zeus Corp was winning by the time you guys showed up. The porkies initially had more ships and guns, but Zeus had working factories, and with those, the numbers quickly shifted in our favor."

    "Ah, yes. The invisible threat, Terran industry." Captain Zzuural said to his crew. "These assholes have a reputation for being terrifying warriors, but their industrial capacity is just as fearsome if not more so. Where a lot of races wish they had a million weapons, the Terrans will be loading transports within a day."

    "Yup," She said. "An interesting bit of trivia is that Zeus and their factories is why the AK-47 is our weapon of choice. Before everything went to shit, we used gauss and particle beam weapons, just like many advanced civilizations. Chemical slug throwers were ancient history," she said with a smile. "Using them would have beenughable to a soldier before the Sol wars," she grinned. "As crude and primitive as they are, they do have one advantage, ease of production. Making one of those fancy gauss weapons or a ster requires all sorts of equally fancy equipment, dedicated production facilities, and increasingly hard-to-findponents or yet more dedicated production facilities to make them. A slug thrower only requires a chunk of iron, and any cheap old maintenance robo-fac can turn them out by the thousands," she said with a smile. "You can even make them by hand if you need to."

    "The fact that they were so frighteningly effective was a surprise to everyone," she continued. "There were improvised chemical slug throwers in use well before Zeus started cranking them out, but the Zeus AK was the first mass-produced true assault rifle with the ammo to feed it. They changed the game," She said with a grin. "They tore through anything, armor, ship hulls, barricades, you name it. With the right ammunition, they could pierce armor, start fires, explode, release any number of chemical nastiness or nanobots, anything you wanted them to do. Just change the ammo. One soldier could have a menu of options at their disposal, all from just one weapons tform. p a grenadeuncher underneath the main barrel, and the party really starts. The porkies didn''t know what hit them. One day they had the upper hand. The next, they were on the run."

    She grabbed a coconut and expertly popped it open.

    "The same retro trend also extended to our ships as well," she said as she sipped some coconut water. "Crude chemically propelled missiles with basic electronics and a shaped charge orter an EFP warhead tipped the bnce of power in space," she said. "In ancient times, they were used to good effect on the surface but in the vacuum of space-"

    "Yeah, we became quite familiar with those," Captain Zzuural said with augh. "Those fuckers were pure evil until we started to develop ways to deal with them, and even then, they were and still are killers. Back then, they could punch a hole in just about anything we had except a dreadnought or heavy cruiser."

    "You didn''t use nukesh?" Lieutenant Guzz slurred.

    "Nope. We didn''t have them until halfway into our war," She replied, "After we had a worldwide nuclear exchange in our twenty-first century, we stopped making them and destroyed any that were left over. We damn near killed ourselves and were not going to do it again. So we had to make them from scratch. Of course, we mastered isotope separation, so it wasn''t all that hard, as you guys know very well. I especially love your salted five hundred megaton babies and your ten megaton gamma-ray squirters. Those things are simply beautiful. I''m d you didn''t have those during our little dust-up."

    "Well, we learned from the best." Captain Zzuural said as he filled his drinking dish. "I still remember the first time I saw one go off. There was this huge sh of light, and once my cockpit became transparent again and my sensors recovered, a destroyer had just¡­ disappeared. We thought you guys were fielding anti-matter."

    "We''re drifting off topic again," Captain Zzuural said. "Like She said, the Empire arrived in Sol during what we now know to be theter stages of a system-wide conflict. Humanity was exhausted, pushed to the limit by aary catastrophe and the wars that followed. A lot of them were happy to see us, even if they won''t admit it in a thousand years," he said, nudging She.

    "It is said that the Empire didn''t beat the Terrans. The Terrans beat the Terrans," He continued. "Tak Nakamura spoke for the system and negotiated the terms of their annexation, and that was that. The porkies were all too happy to agree because they were looking at almost certain death prior to our arrival. We unknowingly saved their asses," He said with a slurp from his dish. "Sorry. We should have let you finish up, but it was starting to look like mass murder."

    "Eh, you didn''t know, and it was mass murder. By that point, we were veryfortable with genocide." She said with a shrug.

    "As She said before, one of the first things we did was separate the two forces involved relegating the porkies to Neptune and beyond. We had to," the captain said between slurps of beer. "You couldn''t have them in the same room with each other back then."

    "Anyway, things went amazingly well at first," Captain Zzuural said. "The Terrans suddenly found themselves part of arge interster civilization and enjoyed all of the benefits thereof. Any dissent was buried underneath a seemingly endless stream of transportsden with food that actually tasted nice and cheap consumer goods. Even more importantly, Sol found a bottomless demand for their minerals, isotopes, and alloys to pay for it all. Terrans can''t be subdued, but they aren''t above a bribe," he said with a wink.

    He paused while he nibbled on a skewer of roast pineapple.

    "The first lord chancellor, Lord Zuk-kal-brekal, was a fair and honest Juon. He also had an uncanny ability to rte with the Terrans, and under his leadership, integration into the Empire actually went too smoothly, as we will find out shortly. Terran industry soon became the hallmarks of productivity and quality, and Terran ran enterprises quickly became some of the most profitable in the entire Empire. As far as the individual Terran was concerned, the standard of living skyrocketed to levels that most couldn''t even dream of before the wars," the captain said.

    "The Terrans may be the lords of minerals, but we are the gods of bureaucracy. If there is one thing we know, it''s how to run a system. We set up a system of governance in line with their values and eliminated waste and corruption. As a result, the average tax load for both individual citizens and businesses was less than before the wars, and they enjoyed better services to boot. They joked that we may be alien overlords, but we got rid of the lines at the DMV and they could do their taxes in an hour," Captain Zzuural said, scrunching his eyes into a smile. "Believe it or not, they actually liked us and didn''t mind being Imperial subjects at all. In fact, many of them said that we were better than the prewar governments we reced. It looked like they were going to be the greatest addition to the Empire in centuries."

    "Sho whatsh happened?" The lieutenant slurred.

    "You should drink some water, my young friend," the captainughed. "Well, in every species, every culture, at any time in the history of the universe, there is that one asshole that ruins a good thing. In this case, the asshole was Lord Cl-Ras-Kalen. Everybody go ahead and grab seconds because this is where it starts to get good."

 Chapter 9: The Luau and History Lesson Part Two

    Chapter 9: The Luau and History Lesson Part Two

    ¡°Do you always travel with such a well-stocked bar?¡± Captain Zzuural said as he expertly mixed Manhattans.

    ¡°Nope. We stopped by the liquor store when we bought the meat for the party.¡± She said as she epted a ss.

    ¡°This ce has a liquor store?¡±

    ¡°This ce has everything,¡± She said as she took a sip.

    ¡°Too bad that we would cause an evacuation if we stopped by more often. This ce is nice,¡± the captain said as he filled his dish. ¡°They even have these weird candied cherries.¡±

    ¡°I bet we could get used to Nightguard if your money is good,¡± Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said as he tore into a new skewer. ¡°At the very least, I could fill any ¡®to go¡¯ orders you might have¡­ for a modest fee, of course,¡± Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said as he rubbed his hands together in the universal sign for cash.

    ¡°We may very well take you up on that. Terran liquor isn¡¯t illegal in, but it is very hard to get,¡± the captain said. Lieutenant Guzz started to say something, then she took another sip of her pina cda and decided to keep quiet. A little bootlegged liquor isn¡¯t going to hurt anyone, she concluded.

    ¡°Booze is one thing we always have in good supply. Pirates are a thirsty lot. I am certain I could fulfill any order,¡± Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said as he red his nostrils in a smile.

    ¡°Jeez,¡± Gloria said as she grabbed a Manhattan, ¡°You will deal with anyone, won¡¯t you.¡±

    ¡°I let you into my shop, and you guys are about as hot as a client can get right now. The entire Federation is just dying to have a chat with you.¡±

    ¡°Sho, what did you do this time,¡± Lieutenant Guzz said as she clumsily pulled out her tablet.

    She and the entire Juon crew broke down intoughter as they were brought up to speed.

    ¡°That wash you?!¡± the lieutenant eximed while giggling. ¡°Empressh¡¯es tentaclesh!¡±

    ¡°Yep. It was all thanks to our little xen beauty here.¡± She said as she hugged Gloria.

    ¡°Fuck you,¡± Gloria said with augh as she shoved She away.

    ¡°xen?¡± Captain Zzuural asked.

    ¡°xen is what we call the former ruling ss of Mars. Her hair, skin, and eyes are all dead giveaways and all recessive. They liked to ¡®keep things in the family¡¯, so to speak. Have all those traits, and you are definitely xen. Believe it or not, she is a direct descendant of the fucking head of the Martian Industrial Group. Her grandparents were part of the xen that got sick of watching people starve just because of profiteering. They were the among the ones who turned off the turrets and unlocked the gates.¡±

    ¡°Considering everything wasn¡¯t what they were doing suicide?¡± the captain asked.

    ¡°Well, as my grandpa said, ¡®Sometimes you just have to do what is right and worry about the restter.¡¯,¡± Gloria said between sips. ¡°Fortunately for us, the leaders of the uprising knew who they were and were able to get them to safety before the violence really got into full swing.¡±

    ¡°How about you? From what I hear, you Terrans aren¡¯t very nice to those they think to be porkies,¡± the captain asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s ok when we are in our dome. Everyone there knows who we are and what we did. We get respect, but we have to stay there. If we want to go elsewhere, we have to dye our hair, skin, and irises,¡± Gloria said with a frown.

    ¡°Yeah, even we didn¡¯t know she was xen until we needed someone to sneak onto a Federation,¡± She said as she filled up her ss. ¡°They only let her into the Republic Navy because they needed people to pilot suicide sleds. Once the war was in full swing, they even went through the prisons. I really wish I was kidding,¡± She said as she shook her head.

    ¡°Suicide sleds?¡± one of the Juon asked.

    ¡°Moray Torpedo Boats. We were the first target during a battle, and for good reason. The bugs knew we were packing the big nukes. I have twenty-five confirmed capital ship kills, including one of their super-battleships,¡± Gloria said proudly.

    ¡°It works out great for us. She puts on some fashionable clothes or a Federation officer¡¯s uniform, and nobody questions it,¡± She said with a smile. ¡°Sergeant Roberts can also easily pass for a porkie. They can just walk into a lot of ces, like a Federation security station, for example,¡± She said as she raised her ss to them.

    ¡°Why did your family stay on Mars and not flee to the Federation where it would be safer?¡± One of the Juon asked.

    ¡°Uh-oh...¡± the captain said, moving between Gloria and the Juon trooper.

    ¡°It¡¯s cool,¡± Gloria said as she waved her hands in a reassuring gesture. ¡°We stayed on Mars because we are Martians. It¡¯s our home, and we fought for it just like everyone else. As far as the Federation goes, we are Republic citizens even if we do get some static sometimes. If anything, we hate the Feds more than anyone else,¡± she said as she took another drink. ¡°Besides, we are safe, even respected in our dome. It¡¯s everywhere else we run into problems. It really sucks that my grandparents did what they did only to have to live in what is basically exile, but Sol is our home, and things were getting a lot better¡­ until the fucking porkies and the Federation struck,¡± she said with a growl. ¡°Now, in addition to losing my sister in their attack, my little brother had to quit college because of all the harassment.¡±

    ¡°Thatsh horrible!¡± Lieutenant Guzz eximed. ¡°I thought that the Terrans were good people.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re ¡®good¡¯, but we aren¡¯t perfect. We are very far from it.¡± She said with a frown. ¡°We have a lot of problems, hate being one of the biggest. The Sol Wars were only about one hundred and fifty years ago, and there is more than enough hate to go around even among groups that call themselves Terran. The porkies were the ones universally hated, but plenty of the groups that are now officially Terran viciously fought each other over thatst bushel of wheat or thatst grain of rice, especially in the early days of the disaster, and there are too many grudges to count. Jessie catches static because ¡®she had it easy¡¯, Eno catches k from other Africans because some believe that the Pan African Alliance were wrong protecting some species in preference to people, Jacob regrly gets into bar fights over the Battle of London, Hell, even I cut someone¡¯s throat outside a New Orleans bar because the old fucker was bragging about killing Salties back in the day,¡± She said with a sigh. ¡°Most people have almost forgiven each other, and the newer generations harbor less hatred towards each other than the ones before, but it only takes one asshole to start something.¡±

    ¡°But you forgave us almost immediately,¡± the captain said in confusion.

    ¡°Zzu, my old friend,¡± She said as she patted his head fondly, ¡°we are much better at hating each other than we are at hating anything else. We will band together to fight amon foe, like the Empire, the Federation, or the Collective, but when that threat has passed, we are just one incident away from violence on a good day. We are just too used to killing each other. We¡¯ve been doing it since before we developed the writing to record it. Reconciliation is happening, but it¡¯s going to take time. We are still a strong Republic, and we have far more ties binding us together than pulling us apart, but if some idiot runs their mouth too much, they will probably get stabbed, and someone dying over a century and a half old grudge doesn¡¯t even make the news.¡±

    ¡°I understand to some extent. We are much harder on and expect more from our own species than others. We would never do some of the things we do to ourselves to our subjects. An old saying is that we subject ourselves to tyranny in order to save our subjects from it,¡± the captain said as he slid a skewer underneath himself and took a bite.

    ¡°Well, you kinda did that to us,¡± Gloria said as she spat out a small bone.

    ¡°That we did, and it worked out so very well didn¡¯t it?¡± the captainughed. ¡°Oh, that reminds me. Where did we leave off?¡±

    ¡°We had just annexed the Terrans,¡± one of his troopers said.

    ¡°Oh, yeah, right,¡± the captain said as he mixed and diluted another Manhattan, much to the horror of the humans present.

    ¡°Water? You monster!¡± Jessie yelled.

    ¡°Forgive me for not wanting to die,¡± the captain said with augh. ¡°For the first twenty-seven years, things went like a dream. The Terrans liked us, and we loved them. Tanker after tanker of deuterium and helium-3, along with untold megatons of just about anything you could imagine, streamed out of Sol. Technology exchanges benefited both the Terrans and the Empire. We go on and on about how the Terrans gained tech from us, but we tend to minimize their contributions to the Empire. Theirpact fusion reactors were superior to ours, and every single sessful mining or processingpany in the Empire either borrows heavily from Terran tech or outright copies it. It was a great time for all of us,¡± Captain Zzuural said as he sipped his watered-down cocktail.

    ¡°Then, the former Emperor Kal-Zurx-Belran-Delsn II abdicated the throne after one-hundred and fifty years as is our custom and named his son Emperor Kal-Alran-Calx-Delsn IV his sessor,¡± the captain said.

    His crew made razzberry noises. The Terrans were a little shocked. The Juon damn near worship their Emperors as gods.

    ¡°Yeah, that guy,¡± Captain Zzuural said. ¡°As you all know, he really screwed the squid. The Terran Uprising was probably his biggest cock-up of all. He and his friends were all part of this, forck of a better word, cult that romanticized the early days of the Empire or its ¡®Golden Age¡¯, as they put it. Yeah, back when we had session wars and actually had to fight systems in order to actually conquer them. Never mind that we are now a hundred timesrger, systems now actively petition for annexation, and we haven¡¯t had a civil war in over a thousand years. Back then was the ¡®Golden Age¡¯,¡± The captain said, shing his chromatophores in the equivalent of an exaggerated eye roll.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t he just name the Cyan Empress as his sessor?¡± One of the Juon asked.

    ¡°That is a very good question and one that he refuses to answer to this day,¡± the captain replied. ¡°It¡¯s hard to get anything out of him at all anymore. He mostly just stays in his chambers, refusing to leave. Some say that he thought the Cyan Empress to be too gentle and retiring to effectively lead-¡±

    He was cut off by some startled spluttering from his crew.

    ¡°Too gentle? The Empress? The Cyan fucking Empress!¡± the Juon trooper eximed.

    ¡°They say that she was,¡± the captain shrugged. ¡°I think the operative word is ¡®was¡¯. Personally, I believe the theory that she was always the former Emperor¡¯s favorite child, but he considered her brother ¡®adequate¡¯ and chose him so she could lead a normal life, free from the burden of the Empire on her head. After all, the Empire was in good shape. All her brother had to do was just sit there and be a figurehead,¡± Captain Zzuural said as he grabbed another skewer. ¡°I think that theory is closer to the truth, but we will likely never know.¡±

    ¡°Their blood is cyan in color,¡± She exined to the Z¡¯uush, ¡°and she most certainly earned that name several times over.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s not get ahead of ourselves,¡± the captain said as he continued, ¡°The new Emperor who we shall not name again,¡± he said as he spat on the deck, ¡°wasted little time in basically fucking over the entire Empire. He reced people in vital positions including high military leadership with his poorly qualified friends, forced the abdication of heads of noble houses in favor of his cronies, rolled back social progress a thousand years in the making, intimidated rivals, and imprisoned or exiled those he couldn¡¯t hold under a tentacle, and basically was a giant turd sitting on top of the greatest Empire in the gxy.¡±

    ¡°The noble houses allowed that?¡± another of his troopers asked.

    ¡°Well, they were in a tight spot. There are checks and bnces in ce, not the least of which is their private armed forces but they got blindsided with many of those houses suddenly led by the Emperor¡¯s beak cleaners. Those powerful enough to resist were faced with a difficult choice, either risk civil war or y along and try to use diplomacy to somehow fix the situation,¡± the captain exined, ¡°They, and I think wisely, chose thetter. A civil war would have torn the Empire apart. Anyway, one of the changes was the removal of the first lord chancellor from the Sol system and recing him with one of the biggest beak cleaners of the bunch, Lord Cl-Ras-Kalen. He wasted little time taking control of all Terran-owned businesses and cing them under the control of his beak lickers.¡±

    ¡°Needless to say,¡± She said with a grin, ¡°That didn¡¯t go over very well.¡±

    ¡°No, it did not,¡± the captain replied, ¡°To say that it did not go over well is a bit of an understatement. They also shed the Terran¡¯s pay, saying that it wasn¡¯t fair that they were doing better than so many Juon and that their new pay was more in line with what was appropriate for ¡®unskilledborers¡¯¡±.

    ¡°This also did not go over very well at all,¡± She said with augh.

    ¡°Mismanagement of what were some of the most profitable businesses in the Empire coupled with a suddenly unmotivated workforce caused productivity and profits to plummet. Soon, many of them were running at a loss,¡± The captain said as he poured himself a dish of water.

    ¡°Quitter!¡± Jessie slurred.

    ¡°I¡¯m intoxicated enough, thank you. The new Lord Chancellor, may his name be lost, and his little cloaca wipers didn¡¯t even consider the thought that they fucked up and ced the me solely on the Terrans,¡± the captain said, scrunching his eyes in a smile. ¡°And, in their infinite wisdom, decided to start to apply increasing pressure on them. The old Lord Chancellor, Lord Zuk-kal-brekal, tried to warn them and the Emperor that something bad was on the horizon, but he was rebuffed and dismissed from government service. The new Terran leadership, wait for it¡­ disregarded his warning because since the Terrans ¡®surrendered¡¯ so easily, they must be weak and easily cowed.¡±

    The captain smiled and waited for the hystericalughter to die down.

    ¡°I shit you not. You can actually look up the documents if you like. They said it,¡± the captainughed. ¡°As they continued to apply ever-increasing pressure, they got to encounter the first rumbles of what was toe. The Terrans have a concept that they have had since ancient times, collective bargaining.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± a Z¡¯uush asked.

    ¡°That¡¯s when all of the workers in a business or trade band together and form abor organization that deals with management as a single entity. As such, they can wield some very powerful tools such as a work slowdown involving everyone or aplete work stoppage or what they call a ¡®strike¡¯. Suddenly, entire mines, then entire groups of mines, then all of the mines simply stopped working. All production stopped almost system-wide. The Juon were at aplete loss. This was at the time a uniquely Terran concept and something that they were simply not equipped to handle,¡± the captain said with augh. ¡°So, they decided to pile stupid on top of stupid. Instead of ¡®looking weak¡¯ and negotiating, like the Terrans wanted, they decided to be idiots. They first tried to just fire everyone involved and rece them, but that didn¡¯t work for two big reasons. One, just because the workers had stopped production, they still were in the mines and factories and weren¡¯t leaving, and two, almost all Terrans with the right skills absolutely refused to ¡®cross the picket line¡¯ or go to work in a striking nt. Things were starting to get very, very bad, and violence was beginning to start, mostly when trying to get recement workers into the mines or when union supporters were trying to deliver supplies to the striking workers. The Juon in the Sol system were beginning to meet the real Terrans, and they did not like it.¡±

    ¡°Then they got really stupid,¡± Eno said with augh.

    ¡°Stupid is the theme here, and it didn¡¯t stop,¡± the captain said with yet anotherugh. ¡°The Lord Chancellor, may his name be forever forgotten, got the brilliant idea of tying rations to production. Remember the Sol Wars? Going after the food was a bad idea, a particrly bad idea.¡±

    A chorus of groans andughter came from the Juon and Z¡¯uush.

    ¡°Yep,¡± the captainughed, ¡°they did that. Unfortunately for the Juon in charge, in the years after the wars, Terrans had learned their lesson, and every station of any size now had food production, and there were even station-sized greenhouses throughout the system. To make their great idea work, they had to seize all of them. This was a big problem. They were only using household troops, not Imperial ones, to save money and keep better control over the system. Violence and civil disorder became an increasing problem, and this is where a smart evil Juon would have called upon the Empire, but they were already losing money, and they did not want to admit that they were losing control of the system,¡± the captain said rippling with both irritation and amusement at the same time. ¡°It cost lives on both sides, but ¡®we¡¯ just managed to wrest control of the biggest agricultural centers from the Terrans, and they started to try to put a stranglehold on the workers and everyone else. This went about as well as you would expect. People just turned their backs on the whole affair and reverted to the lifestyle and used the techniques that they had perfected during the Sol Wars. The Juon would show up, and entire cities and stations were¡­ empty. Off, stations started to fortify themselves and run their own food production. The food they produced may have been less than ptable, but every Terran knew what to do and how to do it,¡± the captain chuckled. ¡°The Lord Chancellor, may his entire line fall from the book of names, had no idea what to do. Still, all was not lost. He could have called the Empire for help or dealt fairly with the Terrans, but no, he decided that stupid was the best course. He started capturing Terrans and forcing them into the mines and refineries at gunpoint cutting off all food and water for them and their families unless theyplied,¡± the captain paused, ¡°Never, ever, ever threaten a Terran¡¯s family. They will seem toply, but the first chance they get, they will get you.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t do this!¡± one of the troopers eximed. ¡°How did they get away with it?¡±

    ¡°Actually, they could. A lot of thews that we have are ancient, and many haven¡¯t been updated in centuries,¡± the captain replied. ¡°Back then, the Lord Chancellor of a system had absolute power over a subject state. The only bnce in ce would be the patronage of an elder house, and Sol didn¡¯t have one yet. The Cyan Empress has changed a lot of this during her blessed reign. This sort of abuse is now against an Imperial edict, and a vitor gets to have a ¡®private reception¡¯ with the Empress herself by hermand. She wants to deal with any vitor personally,¡± the captain said, making a shing motion.¡° Oddly enough, nobody has chosen to defy that particr edict,¡± Captain Zzuural said as the humans and juonughed.

    ¡°Back to the story,¡± the captain said. ¡°These people that the- I¡¯m going to stop calling them Juon. They aren¡¯t Juon. These people that the tyrants rounded up were often not skilled. Terran industry, refineries in particr, aren¡¯t user-friendly. You can¡¯t just press a button and expect it to run on its own. As the barely sapient animals that they are, they don¡¯t trust automation. I think the magic boxes scare them,¡± Captain Zzuural said,ughing as he dodged a few coconut husks thrown his way. ¡°The long and short of it is that someone has to know what they are doing. The tyrants got lucky most of the time. Mining and refining were the two biggest industries, with only ecological reconstructioning close to rivaling them. Any group they captured would likely have at least a few skilled tradesmen in it. Luck, however, is not an infinite resource, and it finally caught up with them, causing the Luna 5 disaster. Poor working conditions and unskilled people trying to operate and maintain the helium-3 nt resulted in a major rupture of several processing tanks, causing sma and high-pressure gas to be released and the main dome ruptured. Vital escape routes were locked in order to prevent Terrans from sneaking away, and the tyrants responsible for those controls fled, leaving the workers trapped. Over a thousand Terrans lost their lives and the rest of the Terrans in the system...¡±

    The captain paused for effect.

    ¡°...lost their fucking minds. The party was on, and the tyrants finally got to meet the Terrans in full force.¡±

 Chapter 10: The Luau and a History Lesson (3)

    Chapter 10: The Luau and a History Lesson (3)

    After consuming a bit more alcohol than they could easily metabolize, most of the Juon were starting to look a little wobbly.

    ¡°I wanna another,¡± Lieutenant Guzz said as she clumsily slithered towards the bar.

    ¡°Um, I really don¡¯t think that¡¯s a good idea,¡± the captain said, rippling with genuine concern. ¡°Hey, why don¡¯t you make her a virgin-¡±

    ¡°Yooou can¡¯t make me a virgin,¡± the lieutenant slurred, interrupting the captain. ¡°I¡¯m already a virgin!¡±

    ¡°Oh no,¡± the captainughed. ¡°And that¡¯s why Terran spirits are so hard to find in Imperial space. When most species encounter them for the first time, they swear off of them for life. I warned you kids that the stuff was dangerous.¡±

    ¡°Here you go, sweetie,¡± She said,ughing from the lieutenant¡¯s surprise revtion. ¡°It¡¯s a virgin, just like you.¡±

    ¡°Anyway,¡± the captain said, returning to the story, ¡°After the Luna-5 disaster, the Terrans lost it. There were riots just about everywhere in the system immediately. After that, the whole system shut down.¡±

    ¡°The whole system?¡± one of the Z¡¯uush asked. ¡°How did they coordinate such a mass demonstration so quickly.¡±

    ¡°Terrans don¡¯t have to,¡± the captain replied. ¡°There is this inexplicable phenomenon involving them. They are normally incredibly individualistic, much more so than a lot of species. But sometimes, their minds, no, their very souls link up, and they mimic a hive-mind. This phenomenon has been studied for hundreds of years, and no clear answers have ever been found. It ¡®just happens¡¯.¡±

    ¡°That makes no sense.¡± The Z¡¯uush said, blinking in confusion.

    ¡°Nope. It doesn¡¯t,¡± She said as she took a bite from a skewer. ¡°You Z¡¯uush are excellent cooks, by the way. These things are delicious.¡±

    ¡°The bizarre thing is that it will infect other species if you get too close to it,¡± Captain Zzuural said with augh. ¡°If it happens, you will get swept up in it just like them. It is like a psychic ck hole. Once you cross the event horizon, even reason can¡¯t escape.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a really good exnation,¡± She said, nodding approvingly. ¡°This linking can form over the most random things too. Sometimes it¡¯s a good thing like project lifeline where thousands of Terran civilians took their ships directly into harm¡¯s way to evacuate Imperial civilians when the Collective attacked. Sometimes it¡¯s just weird or silly, like the great nakedness. And sometimes, more than we would like, it¡¯s negative, and we get mass protests and, in the worst cases, riots or lynchings. The Juon, sorry, I mean tyrants, got to experience that first hand. Almost the entire poption of the Sol system just went bugshit. Government vehicles and buildings burned, tyrant businesses and a few of our own for good measure got looted, ships and even space stations were scuttled. It was one of the best riots in history.¡±

    ¡°Wait. Back up there. The great nakedness?¡± the captain asked. The humans broke out inughter.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t know about the great nakedness?¡± Sheughed. ¡°Ok, the Mars is cold, but with all of the reactors and other machinery, it can get quite warm, even ufortably hot under the domes and especially in the tunnels. The powers that be running Mars Twelve decided to cut back on the colony-wide cooling in order to save money. You can imagine that there wereints. Someone, and we to this day don¡¯t know who, lost their temper,pletely stripped, and started running around yelling that it was ¡®too fucking hot¡¯. Then a few more joined him, then a few more, then a lot more. Soon, thousands took to the streetspletely naked. They were running around, posing for the news cameras, painting themselves, squirting each other with water bottles, just having a great time. Hell, some people rushed to the station just so they could join in,¡± She giggled. ¡°Needless to say, the cooling was restored to its former levels pretty damn quick. You can still buy shirts and souvenirs there emzoned with ¡®It¡¯s too fucking hot!¡¯ to this day.¡±

    The Juon lost it and startedughing hysterically, including the captain.

    ¡°Ok¡­ Ok,¡± he said as he finally caught his breath. ¡°As She said, the Terrans were running around, and it definitely wasn¡¯t the great nakedness. As the Terrans like to say, ¡®Shit got real¡¯. Anything resemblingw, order, and most importantly to the tyrants, production came to aplete stop. Those people they had forced into working for them? They only had a few guards and automated doors to keep them in line. The guards were overpowered or run off, and the doors were torn apart. Billions, possibly trillions of credits worth of equipment was vandalized to the point that it was unrecoverable. Entire factories and mineral processing centers werepletely destroyed. The Terrans that we all know and love had awakened, and all hell was breaking loose.¡±

    ¡°What took the Terrans so long?¡± one of the troopers asked, ¡°The Terrans that I know would have been ripping some beaks off long before this.¡±

    ¡°A huge part of it was the first Lord Chancellor, Lord Zuk, and Tak Nakamura,¡± She replied. ¡°They both wielded a great deal of influence in the Sol system, and they were urging restraint while they tried to work out some sort of diplomatic resolution. Even though he was fired and disgraced, Lord Zuk was still going to all of the noble houses strong enough to resist the Emperor and trying to get one of them to get involved. None of them did. They had their own problems and weren¡¯t too eager to add a new one,¡± She said. ¡°Good ol¡¯ Lord Zuk kept at it until he was imprisoned for the crime of being a pain in the ass. Once that happened, people realized that the situation was permanent, and things started to go downhill fast. Even so, Tak still desperately urged restraint while he tried to reason with the new Lord Chancellor. He was also urging restraint for another reason that he wasn¡¯t telling anyone about. You will find out why in a bit. Ol¡¯ Tak¡¯s word carried a lot of weight. It still does. He ended the Sol Wars, or he would have if you guys hadn¡¯t shown up. Something like that gets you respect, a fuckton of it.¡±

    A Z¡¯uush walked past with a fresh tray of skewers, and Jacob, one of She¡¯s crew, started to reach for one.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid to ask, but what is this?¡± he asked, pointing at the meat.¡±

    ¡°Human-friend Jacob, it¡¯s Terran chicken. Did you not recognize it? We asked if they had any Terran delicacies avable, and luckily they did! We wanted to thank you for everything you have done for us.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t quite look like chicken. Did they say it was chicken, or do you know it was chicken?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it was definitely chicken. It still had had the scales on and everything,¡± the Z¡¯uush replied proudly.

    ¡°Cool, hand me some more of this ¡®chicken¡¯ would you,¡± Jacobughed.

    ¡°Anyhow,¡± She continued, ¡°The Lord Chancellor wasted no time sending most of his forces to ¡®crush the uprising¡¯ as he put it and gave them orders to open fire. And to their surprise and horror, we started shooting back. Part of the annexation agreement was that we were to disarm. Now Lord Zuk figured that going in and trying to actively confiscate people¡¯s weapons would be a bad, bad, really bad idea. So, he instead set up a buy-back program where once someone feltfortable, they could turn in their arms, figuring that we would see how nice being an Imperial subject was and that within a few years, we would happily exchange our arms for credits. Besides, all we were talking about were ¡®primitive¡¯ slug throwers and crude explosive devices. We might as well be throwing spears,¡± Sheughed. ¡°Even the wise Lord Zuk had no idea what our weapons could do, so he didn¡¯t get concerned when nobody turned in their shit. He just figured it would take a little longer than expected, and we woulde around eventually. The slug throwers were ¡®harmless¡¯ anyhow. He called them our ¡®little security nkets¡¯. Lord Zuk was smart, but apparently he didn¡¯t watch thebat footage.¡±

    ¡°The result was that the Sol system was just loaded with weapons,¡± Captain Zzuural said, ¡°Far more than we even thought possible. Most Terran families were in possession of at least one firearm, predominately the AK-47, and many people had heavier ordinance as well. It turned into a bloodbath. As we all know, 7.62 mm slugs couldn¡¯t be deflected by a soldier¡¯s screens, and the armor-piercing rounds went through their soft armor like it wasn¡¯t even there,¡± the captain said while taking another bite. ¡°Their armor could prevent pration of a few of the early standard rounds, but even then, they hit so hard that they would rupture organs. What was even worse for those poor household troopers was that Terranbatants, all of them, were veterans of years, and I mean years, of horrible bloody conflict as opposed to poorly trained and equipped household troops. It was a massacre. In less than twenty-four hours, there were no household forces left on Terra, Mars, Luna, or in Jovian space. They couldn¡¯t even evacuate most of them them. Every time they tried to do an airstrike or put ander down, somebody would pop up with one of those fucking guided missiles. It was near one hundred percent casualties.¡±

    ¡°Is this when the porkies decided to run?¡± a Z¡¯uush asked.

    ¡°Nope. They were celebrating,¡± Sheughed. ¡°They had absolutely no doubt that the Terrans were going to be wiped out for this, and they would be the ones in charge in just a few weeks. Although to be fair, we were sort of thinking the same thing. One funeral home actually ran an ad saying that they were taking reservations as a joke. It was the meme of the week.¡±

    ¡°The Lord Chancellor actually copsed,¡± the captain said with a chuckle, ¡°They say he threw up and hid in his room for the rest of the day. If he actually had a brain in his bag, he would have immediately screamed for help, but he couldn¡¯t stand the humiliation of getting his ass kicked by rock-throwing savages, so he said nothing. He hadn¡¯t deployed absolutely all of his troops, and he had a small fleet of ships. He still thought, or at least desperately wished, that he could get things back under control. This gave the Terrans a few days. Do you have any idea what a Terran can do in a few days, especially when they know an assshing ising?¡± the captain said with augh. ¡°Then, when they were ready, it happened. The famous broadcast. The Terrans somehow managed to hack into the hyperspacemunications feeds and transmitted a message on all bands. Takashi Nakamura¡¯s image was suddenly transmitted across all of the civilized gxy, and he made a short statement. Terrans, I know all of you know it by heart, so if you would do the honors...¡±

    The Terrans all rose and in a reverent tone recited in unison:

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to lie to you. I¡¯m not going to fill your head with ridiculous promises of victory. We are going to lose. That¡¯s a hard cold fact. We face an interster empire with countless worlds and a military that dwarfs anything we can ever hope to muster. We are going to lose, but we have a choice. Do we bow, throw ourselves at the feet of this new so-called Emperor and his corruptckeys? Do we grovel and whine, or do we fight?

    This is not a war where victory can be expected. This is a war with which we will define ourselves. Are we ves, weak and willing, or are we Terrans? We¡¯ve been here before. When Yellowstone erupted, did we just lie down and quit, or did we fight for our survival doing whatever it took to live just one more day? We didn¡¯t just lie down and quit then, and I say don¡¯t just lie down and quit now. Yes, we are going down for what we have done. An Empire cannot allow us to win, and they will not allow us to win. We will face the fires of hell, but hey, we¡¯ve done that before.

    We are Terrans, and Terrans know hell. We are going back to hell, my friends, all of us. We are going to eat bugs, snails, rats, and pond scum, again. We are going to watch our friends and family die, all over again. We are, once again, going back to being outgunned and outnumbered in a hopeless fight against the raiders, but this time the raiders <em>are going to win</em>. Count on it. They are going to win but let¡¯s make them<em> pay</em> for it. Let¡¯s make them fight. Let¡¯s make them know hellfire and ash. Let¡¯s make them pound this system, which they covet so dearly, into the rubble from which it rose not three decades ago. Let¡¯s make them pay for every single cubic inch of it.

    We are Terrans, but what does that truly mean? The rest of the fucking gxy is about to find out. We may very well find out ourselves.

    I have a confession, my friends. I am a hypocrite. While I have been urging restraint and peace, I restarted the production of our entire range of arms, using the same fully operational production lines that I pretended to destroy thirty years ago, the day I heard that our only ally in the Empire, Lord Zuk-kal-brekal, had been imprisoned and his mission had failed. I don¡¯t know what good it will do in the end, but we do have vast stockpiles of food and munitions here in Jovian orbit, and transports will be on the way.

    As for myself, I will remain here, in orbit around Jupiter, and will run my production lines for as long as I can. During the Sol Wars, I was fortunate. I had supplies, weapons, tools, and a private army. This time my good fortune has run out. Zeus will likely be the first to fall, and when they breach the walls ande for me, I will take up the same weapons I have given to you, and I am going to fight and die alongside my people. It will be my honor and privilege to do so. I hope that I face my fate with a fraction of the bravery and grace that so many of those who have fallen before me have shown. I also hope that I manage to take a few of them along with me.

    Logistics and a chain ofmand are already in ce, and we will be moving as much material as we can as fast as we can for as long as we can. You will be contacted by your old leadership, your chieftains, your warlords, your patriarchs, your matriarchs, or your militarymanders. They know the score. You trusted them then. Trust them now. We have much to do, and we don¡¯t have much time.

    To the Empire, I say only this. We know what pain is. We know what loss is. We know true hopelessness and despair. We know what it feels like to watch the people we love more than life itself die in our arms. We have choked on fire and ash, and we know what hell truly is. Do you? Come, cut us down. Burn us, starve us, kill our friends and family. Go ahead. Do it. We are Terrans. We can die, and we will, by the millions, but we won¡¯t break, ever.

    My friends, we have a new Yellowstone. We might as well get to it. Take care and good luck. This is Takashi Nakamura, founder, and CEO of Zeus Industries, signing off.¡±

    The captain and the older Juon startedughing and shaking their heads. The Z¡¯uush and especially younger Juon looked at them in shock. This was an act of unforgivable disrespect. Then, to theirplete and utter surprise, the Terrans startedughing even harder.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s nice you guys canugh about it now,¡± She said, wiping her eyes.

    ¡°Yeah, you got us,¡± the captain said, his chromatophores shing in a rueful grin. He looked at the confused faces and turned to She. ¡°Ok, we need to let them in on the joke.¡±

    ¡°Takashi Nakamura is a great man,¡± she said with genuine admiration in her voice. ¡°In his life, he has been an entrepreneur, an executive, a leader during some of the darkest days in human history, a diplomat, and a statesman. All of those have one trait inmon, one thing that is absolutely essential to seed in all of these fields,¡± She said with a wicked grin, ¡°You have to be a bullshit artist, and Tak, when he has to be, is one of the best.¡±

    ¡°Do mean that was all a lie?¡± one of the Juon asked in horror. He was embarrassed and shocked when that triggered another even louder bout ofughter.

    ¡°No!¡± the captainughed, ¡°Every single fucking word is one hundred percent true. <em>Every fucking word! </em>Every feeling it conveys is genuine and truly captured what it was to be Terran at that moment in time and let us and anybody else in the gxy know exactly what we were in for. Only one phrase, while technically true, is intended to deceive. That asshole isn¡¯t a bullshit artist. He is a bullshit Cerralz-Delxn. He doesn¡¯t spread the shit around with a shovel. He paints fucking masterpieces with it, and this message is high mind fuckery in its truest form. I think I am going to need another drink to wash the rest of this story down.¡± The captain rose and headed to the bar.

    ¡°Heh, I remember that broadcast,¡± a grizzled old Juon said, ¡°My first response was ¡®What is a Terran?¡¯ So I did a search and said one word, ¡®fuck¡¯. Then, I realized they hacked ourmunicationswork, and I said, ¡®double fuck¡¯. Those three words pretty much described my whole Terran adventure. I¡¯m getting another drink, too.¡±

    ¡°Ok, that message had more than one objective,¡± She said with a grin. ¡°For us Terrans, it reached out to us. It confirmed our fears, but it also gave us hope.¡±

    ¡°How can any of that give anyone hope?¡± a Juon asked.

    ¡°I get it.¡± a Z¡¯uush replied. ¡°I really wish I didn¡¯t, but Ipletely understand.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that sucks, dude,¡± She said, raising her ss to the Z¡¯uush. ¡°Anyway, it put a fire in our bellies, and it was exactly what we needed at the time. It also told us that there was a n and that we had a part to y in it. That was good. It gave us something tangible.¡± She paused to take another drink. ¡°It also made itpletely impossible for the current Lord Chancellor to hide what was going on. As long as it was hidden, he could do whatever he wanted to us, but the Juon have rules. They have customs, traditions, and<em> honor</em>. That bullshit where he just sent people down and told them to start shooting civilians before they evennded? That¡¯s not what the Empire does. That asshole suddenly had a whole lot of questions to answer. His noble house had just been humiliated not only before the Empire, but that message went across the Federation as well. Not only did they lose face big time, but they were also responsible for embarrassing the Empire in front of the Federation. The Emperor himself was demanding answers.¡±

    The young Juon let out a collective ¡°Oooohhh¡±.

    ¡°Which house was it?¡± one of them asked.

    ¡°House Xkloran,¡± Captain Zzuural shouted from the bar.

    ¡°House Xkloran? I¡¯ve never heard of them.¡±

    ¡°And you won¡¯t. All will be clear, my little hatchling.¡± the captain said, returning to the group, fresh drinking dish in tentacle.

    ¡°One thing I don¡¯t get,¡± a Juona crew member said, ¡°is why would anybody think it was a good idea to transmit that. They called out the house and the entire Empire with the Emperor of that time behaving like it was millennia ago. The Empire and that house, in particr, would have no option but to act, and back then, it would be <em>brutal.</em> That house was <em>humiliated.</em> In those times, the only way to restore their honor would be to respond with force sufficient to restore absolute order immediately regardless of the cost. The loss of Terran lives-¡±

    ¡°Exactly,¡± The captain interjected. ¡°That was the <em>only </em>move House Xkloran could make. They would have to use overwhelming force, and that is exactly what that glorious bastard Tak wanted.¡±

    ¡°He wanted his people to die?¡± the Juona asked inplete bewilderment.

    ¡°I shall yield the floor to a Terran. They should have the honor of detailing theplete tentacle knotting that happened next.¡±

    She stood with a fiendish grin.

    ¡°Ok, to fully understand what happened over the next few days, you have to know a little about Zeus Industries. They are a huge, and I mean huge, chemical refinery and chemical processing outfit operating around Jupiter, our biggest gas giant. They produce deuterium, tritium, helium-3, and a wide range of organic chemicals in unbelievably huge volumes, even by Terran standards. Some of theirrger stations are more massive than our carriers. They are fucking huge. If you buy Terran fuel, you probably bought it from them. There are other smaller outfits that produce them, too, but they usually just sell it to Zeus for a very fair price, and then Zeus handles the storage and distribution. They are cool like that. Only the big lunar regolith processors are any realpetition.¡±

    ¡°Why so far out? Wouldn¡¯t having your facilities closer to your source materials be more reasonable?¡± a Z¡¯uush asked.

    ¡°They are right on top of them,¡± She replied. ¡°They mine Jupiter.¡±

    The Z¡¯uush started to murmur among themselves.

    ¡°That exins the hydrogen and helium, but what about all the rest?¡±

    ¡°Dude, I didn¡¯t say they skimmed Jupiter. They <em>mine Jupiter</em>. They can go deep, real deep, and chase down concentrations of what they want. Some say they can get all the way down into the metallic hydrogen, but nobody except them knows for sure. They keep that beyond a secret both for industrial and strategic reasons,¡± She said. ¡°One thing we know for sure is when one of their ships goes down, it can fall off the scanners and note back up for weeks or even longer. Most of their vessels have isotope separators and other refining equipment on board, and they just stay down till they are full of whatever it is that they want before theye back up. If it¡¯s in Jupiter, they have it. If it can be synthesized from Jupiter, they synthesize it. They also do an insane amount of manufacturing out there as well. They are a titan.¡±

    The Z¡¯uush start chittering excitedly back and forth. This was exciting.

    ¡°True gas mining! Do you think we could get involved in something like that?¡± one of them asked.

    ¡°Oh, you like the extreme stuff?¡± She asked with a smile, ¡°Then forget Jupiter and head over to the Uranus diamond mines.¡±

    The chittering turned to squealing and hups.

    ¡°Oh, yeah, you will fit in just fine,¡± She said with a chuckle.

    ¡°How much do jobs like that pay?¡± another Z¡¯uush asked between hups. ¡°I understand thatpensation isn¡¯t caste-based but depends on something called ¡®the free market¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Not sure on the exact amount, but it¡¯s pretty decent. Hey, Jessie, do you have any data?¡±

    ¡°If I don¡¯t, you hired the wrong gal,¡± Jessie said as she pulled out her tablet, her fingers turning into blurs. A few momentster she said, ¡°I pulled up payroll information from all the mines and refineries in Sol (well the ones we have it¡¯s a lot of them trust me), sorted the various jobs into categories, scrubbed the personal info ¡¯cause you know there are people out there who will steal your shit (heh), and Bunny did her thing-¡±

    ¡°Bunny is her AI,¡± She exined, shaking her head.

    ¡°Bunny did her thing, and this is a conservative estimate for each field. The data is a bit old (It¡¯s been a while since I did a deep dive.), but Bunny and I did ount for-¡±

    ¡°Jessie, shut the fuck up and hand it over!¡± She shouted. ¡°Sorry, she is always like this.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Jessie said, grinning from ear to ear, ¡°now don¡¯t freak out...¡± She handed the Z¡¯uush the tablet.

    The Z¡¯uush freaked out.

    They all freaked out. Much freaking out urred. While everyone waited for the squealing, huping, and frenzied iling and jumping to subside, the captain turned to She.

    ¡°Hey, you said that you didn¡¯t do stuff in the Republic, but your friend there seems to have some stuff that¡¯s...¡± he said quietly.

    She just shrugged.

    ¡°You never know what you will need to know. We aren¡¯t going to ¡®do¡¯ anything with it¡­ probably,¡± She exined. ¡°Besides, it¡¯s impossible to control Jessie. What she has even scares me sometimes.¡±

    They both paused to watch Jessie chasing around dancing Z¡¯uush, who were tossing her tablet back and forth,pletely oblivious to the increasingly agitated human female who seemed to be dancing with them for some reason.

    Once everything calmed down and Jessie finally got her tablet back, She continued, or she tried to.

    ¡°Um¡­ one question,¡± a Z¡¯uush said in a slightly sad voice. ¡°That is what <em>Terrans</em> make. What can we, honestly, expect to earn.¡±

    ¡°My little Z¡¯uushlet,¡± She said, ¡°species discrimination is against Terranw, and we take that shit seriously. Also, while everyone assumes that Terran means homo sapiens sapiens,¡± She pats her chest, ¡°The Republic considers any Republic citizen a ¡®Terran¡¯. Chief over there is a Terran, and if you try to tell him otherwise, you will get a wrench shoved up your ass. You will be a Terran the second you raise whatever you guys raise and take the oath. I¡¯ve seen you guys fight, and I know what you do when your backs are against the wall, and there is nowhere to run. You are Terran enough for me. Those numbers you see are for you as well. Terrans get Terran pay.¡±

    A little more happy freaking out urred, but they soon turned silent as the full weight of what was said sank in. She continued.

    ¡°Those gas miners are huge, and they are built to withstand the truly stupid conditions in which they operate. They have massive armor, crazy shields, insane thrusters, stupid inertial dampeners, and gigantic power nts to run all of that, plus the fucking refinery inside. They are a cross between a refinery and a fucking battleship. They are so tough they don¡¯t need hardpoints. Just stick whatever you want, wherever you want. And Zeus¡­ Zeus has a <em>fleet</em> of them,¡± She said with an impish grin.

    ¡°I am starting to see where this is going,¡± one of the Juon said.

    ¡°Yup. Zeus had dozens of gigantic, easily fortifiable stations, a fleet of ships with better stats than a lot of battleships that can hide inside a fucking gas giant, andst but not by any means least, the entire sr system¡¯s stock of the new short, medium and long-range guided anti-ship missiles, weapons that the Empire had never seen before, fucking thousands of them. They had been running the lines 24/7 for a while,¡± Sheughed. ¡°They really should have noticed that Zeus¡¯bor problems evaporated the fucking day that the news that Lord Zuk was arrested reached Ol¡¯ Tak,¡± She said with augh. ¡°They also probably should have remembered that Zeus Industries was the only organization of any kind that remained in operation throughout the entire Sol Wars. The fucking Sol Wars couldn¡¯t take them out.¡±

    The audience let out a collective ¡°ooo...¡±

    ¡°Ol¡¯ Tak didn¡¯t lie. Zeus was likely to be the first to fall¡­pared to fuckings!¡± Sheughed. ¡°Anyway, the Lord Chancellor and House Xkloran had been thoroughly shamed, and the Emperor wanted results. They promised that they would deliver and decided to make fucking sure of it. They sent their entire fleet of ships and all the soldiers they could cram into them to Sol. Their primary target was Zeus, just as was anticipated. They were informed, and you can guess by who, that Zeus also had thergest number of transport vessels in the system, and they were just sitting there, like sitting ducks.¡± She said with a predatory smile. ¡°That was all well and good, but the household also wanted Tak alive, just as we nned. They figured if they could catch him, they could break him and parade him around like a trophy, just as we expected. While he waspletely serious about fighting to the death, he put that line in there for a reason. Taking Zeus in a fashion that would allow them to subdue him would require a lot of men. They would have to storm the ce so hard and fast that no resistance was possible.¡±

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± a Juona said. ¡°Right into the missiles.¡±

    ¡°They should have had you in charge,¡± She said. ¡°The porkies did their part too, exactly like they were supposed to do. They happily provided all the stale intel and carefully engineered misinformation their spies were given. Both the porkies and household were beyond overconfident, which was a very nice plus. They had no doubt in their mind that absolute victory was at hand. Once they crushed Zeus Industries, they would then subdue the entire system. Their only concern was taking Tak alive and not damaging the priceless industrial center too much. Somehow, inexplicably, one of their spies just happened to find out exactly where Tak was¡¯ hiding¡¯, right in the middle of a formation of carefully positioned mega-stations. They thought they were good to go,¡± She said with a grin.

    ¡°Weren¡¯t they afraid that the spies would give away the whole thing?¡± A Z¡¯uush asked.

    ¡°No, we wanted those spies. Perfect way to feed misinformation to the enemy,¡± She replied. ¡°The weapons production area and the other military stuff waspletely self-contained and sealed away from everything. Almost every employee had absolutely no idea what was going on. The details of what they did and how they did it would fill a book, but they pulled it off. When it came time to deploy the missiles and arm the gas miners, the whole ce went on lockdown, and they wiped out the spies. Type four Juon gravitational transmitters powerful enough to be readable severals away are kind of easy to detect if you know what you are looking for, especially the old cheap ones the porkies were given. We weren¡¯t going to detect them? Seriously? It was kind of insulting.¡±

    ¡°Empress, why didn¡¯t they just have them send office e-mails,¡± one of the Juonughed.

    ¡°Well, the household fleet showed up right on schedule,¡± She said with a ssic Terran toothy grin. ¡°They easily shrugged off the weak improvised energy weapons that were put in ce. The fleet passed easily through the ¡®defenses¡¯ with no losses. Once they were within spitting distance and every ship had been targeted, the biggest missile salvo of the entire war wasunched. The household ships didn¡¯t even try to dodge. Thest message sent was ¡®Oh look, they are throwing spears at us.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Oh fuck, how bad was it?¡± a Juon crew member asked.

    ¡°Well, I gave you a hint,¡± She said, ¡°I said the <emst message sent</em> was ¡®Oh look, they are throwing spears at us.¡¯ They lost everything. Every. Single. Ship. Everything they sent into Zeus Industries space, the vast majority of not only the expeditionary force but the household¡¯s actual entire fleet waspletely wiped out. All of the rockets were set to impact their targets simultaneously. No ship had any time to react before they were hit themselves. Even we didn¡¯t know exactly what the result of a missile impact would be, so we decided on overkill. The number of missiles used wasical. Hundreds wereunched, with each normal ship targeted with anywhere from five to fifty rockets. Their gship had two hundred aimed at it.¡±

    ¡°That fucking many?!¡± Captain Zzuural eximed. ¡°You guys should have more confidence in yourselves.¡±

    ¡°I know, right?¡± Sheughed. ¡°Now that stage one wasplete, we shifted directly to stage two. Just as theplete shock of their fleet getting fucking atomized was setting in, the hidden gas miners ripped up out of the atmosphere and charged towards the remaining vessels and the household¡¯s main station. While they didn¡¯t have jump drives, those monsters had truly unbelievable eleration and were soon moving faster than the missiles they were carrying, and the household¡¯s space station and the rest of the ships were only about as far out as Saturn. The miners wereing in disturbingly fast, and they looked terrifying. As you can expect, full panic set in. The support ships and any remainingbat vessels jumped out of the system. Some of them ran so fast they had to jump back to assist with the evacuation of their station. As soon as the household fled and the station was blown up, the gas miners turned towards the inner sr system and floored it. They had all been loaded with tons and tons of cargo, weapons, ammo, big industrial robo-facs, tiny desktop robo-facs, raw materials for the robo-facs, hundreds and hundreds of tons of food (Oh, we didn¡¯t forget the food. Not afterst time.),puters with every single schematic for every single product military or otherwise that Zeus produced, including all of the data concerning their secret reverse engineering project of FTL drives and naps. With that one haul, they made themselves redundant. They could fall, not that they were nning to, but they could.¡±

    ¡°And with that one strike, all Imperial forces werepletely repelled from Sol,¡± the captain said, shaking his head. ¡°Complete shock ripped through the Imperial military, well the parts of it that were allowed to know that a serious assshing just happened. The destruction was so sudden andplete we didn¡¯t even have good data on exactly what happened. The few household troops and staff left could only say ¡®everything exploded¡¯ and the infamous ¡®Oh look, they are throwing spears at us.¡¯ line. Not a whole lot to work with. So, while we were scrambling around shitting ourselves-¡±

    ¡°You guys do that too?¡± a Z¡¯uush interjected. She¡¯s crew exploded withughter.

    ¡°No, not like you guys,¡± She said, crying fromughter. ¡°Now, be quiet and listen.¡±

    ¡°While we were scrambling around being <em>very confused and upset</em>,¡± the captain said, taking care to be a bit more specific, ¡°The Terrans wasted absolutely no time at all. They did have logistics in ce and used the time distributing arms, tools, rations, and equipment across the whole fucking system. They gathered, organized, and deployed their forces. They built fortifications and dug warrens. They evacuated civilian personnel as best as they could and worst of all,¡± the captain said, rippling with emphasis, ¡°They delivered the supplies necessary to build their first shipyards to concealed locations across the whole system.¡± He took a sip and looked at his crew gravely. ¡°Allowing them to set up those hidden shipyards is what lost us the war and changed the fate of the entire Empire.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± a Z¡¯uush asked excitedly, bouncing up and down. Unlike everyone else, the Z¡¯uush couldn¡¯t touch the alcohol. It would actually kill them instead of just making them pray for death.

    ¡°That is going to have to wait until morning,¡± Captain Zzuural said with augh as he poked the now motionless misshapened lump that was once Lieutenant Guzz.

    ¡°Mmf¡­ Ish ok¡­ just¡­ resthing my eyes¡­¡±

    ¡°Well, some of the others have drunk too much, and I don¡¯t want to have to tell the rest of this story twice, so we will leave it off here for now,¡± the captain said with augh.

    ¡°At least tell me about the porkies,¡± the Z¡¯uush said. ¡°Did they start running now?¡±

    ¡°Yes, they most certainly did,¡± She said with augh.

 Chapter 11: The Luau and a History Lesson (4)

    Chapter 11: The Luau and a History Lesson (4)

    The next morning Captain Zzuural and She were lounging against the side of the Paper Tiger sipping Terran coffee while some of Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa¡¯s workers were transferring cargo between their ships.

    ¡°Ugh, this shit is as nasty as I remember¡­ and every bit as effective,¡± The captain said as he slurped.

    ¡°What do you mean? This is Kona,¡± She replied groggily. ¡°Ugh, hell of a partyst night. The lieutenant get to bed ok?¡±

    The captain justughed and shook his head.

    ¡°Eventually. She spent a few unhappy hours ¡®jettisoning her cargo¡¯ but she survived,¡± the captainughed. ¡°While she will be feeling that today I think as her memory clears that will be the least of her concerns.¡±

    ¡°Ah, yes,¡± She said with a grin, ¡°the fair maiden¡­ You should really take care of that. The way she was ogling you it shouldn¡¯t be too much of a problem. She was shing those colors.¡±

    ¡°We will just pretend that didn¡¯t happen,¡± the captainughed.

    He turned to watch pallet after pallet of produce leaving the ss twelve.

    ¡°Are you sure this is ok?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Oh please,¡± She said dismissively, ¡°You saved my ass at least twice. A few pounds of goodies is nothing. Besides,¡± she said as she gestured to the pallets of ammunition, ¡°you are a paying customer after all even if you are going to use these premium mark fifteens in those sorry rifles of yours.¡±

    ¡°The Harbinger assault rifle is superior to your antiquated AK¡¯s in every parameter that can be measured,¡± the captain said pointing a tentacle at her. ¡°Better recoil management, light weight, superior optics...¡±

    ¡°Recoil management because you can¡¯t handle a real gun and optics because you Juon can¡¯t shoot.¡±

    ¡°Care to have a littlepetition?¡±

    ¡°Not against Nightguard,¡± Sheughed.

    She turned and looked towards his ship.

    ¡°Um, are you guys supposed to be shaped that way?¡± she asked as she pointed towards Lieutenant Guzz who was miserably crawling towards them.

    ¡°Good morning lieutenant,¡± the captain said with a chuckle, ¡°how are we feeling today?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m well, sir,¡± the lieutenant said miserably barely able to look him in the eyes. ¡°I have the payment prepared as instructed.¡±

    She handed him a data crystal carefully so as not to touch him. The captain took it with great amusement.

    ¡°Are you sure this is permissible?¡± she asked.

    ¡°It is if I say it is,¡± the captain said as he handed the crystal over to She. ¡°This pittance for a mountain of premium Terran ammunition is a bargain.

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you have some spare gyrojet slugsying around do you?¡± She asked as she pocketed the crystal.

    ¡°Now that is definitely not permissible,¡± the captain said with augh. ¡°Besides the new gyrojet rounds no longer chamber in a Terran shotgun. We have the new prototypeunchers.¡±

    ¡°Oooo! Can I see? Can I see?¡± She eximed as she jumped up and down excitedly.

    ¡°I see no reason why you can¡¯t,¡± the captain replied.

    As they were setting out some targets a Z¡¯uush approached them.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± the female Z¡¯uush hesitantly asked, ¡°have you seen T¡¯sunk¡¯al?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Can¡¯t say that I have,¡± She said with a grin. ¡°Last I saw him was at the party.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ Thank you,¡± the Z¡¯uush said and scuttled away stiffly.

    She watched her leave with a huge grin on her face.

    ¡°Well, you go T,¡± sheughed.

    The captain looked at her slightly confused.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Zzu, you freaks do things differently,¡± She said with augh. ¡°For the rest of us there are certain things we have inmon and that, my friend, was a pissed off mom.¡±

    ***

    By the time lunch rolled around everybody was finally up and moving even if they were a little red eyed or misshapened depending on the species. As everyone was gathering for amunal meal the leader of the Z¡¯uush approached the Terrans.

    ¡°I must apologize,¡± he said.

    ¡°What for?¡± Jacob asked.

    ¡°The meat we purchased was not chicken as we were told. Human-friend Jessie showed me an image of a chicken and it is a bird, not a six legged reptile.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Jacobughed. ¡°It¡¯s the thought that counts. It was good no matter how many legs it had.¡±

    As everyone was sitting down and eating, one of the Z¡¯uush, barely able to contain herself asked,

    ¡°So what happened next?¡±

    ¡°Ah yes, where were we?¡± The captain asked.

    ¡°The Terrans had just driven all of you out of the system.¡±

    ¡°Yes, well, the military highmand was beside itself,¡± the captain continued, ¡°The fact that so many high ranking positions had been reced by ipetents certainly didn¡¯t help. It took weeks to put together an expeditionary force. They gave the Terrans weeks to dig in.¡± He shook his head. ¡°Weeks. One doesn¡¯t give the Terrans weeks to prepare. It probably wouldn¡¯t have made all that much difference but it certainly didn¡¯t help.¡±

    ¡°No it didn¡¯t,¡± said an old Juon first sergeant.

    ¡°You were in that first group weren¡¯t you old man?¡± the captain asked.

    ¡°Old man? You are just as close to your one and fifty as I am,¡± the Juonughed.

    ¡°A full Juon military career is one hundred and fifty years,¡± She exined to the Z¡¯uush. They consider one-hundred and fifty years ¡®lifetime service¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and I¡¯m getting close,¡± the old Juon said proudly. ¡°Not many make the full stretch. Anyhow, I was just regr infantry back then and just a kid at that. Hadn¡¯t even seenbat, not that there was muchbat to see back in those days, just rogue outposts or pirates. We didn¡¯t get much but overconfident shit from official channels but ourmander gave us the real scoop so we knew it wasn¡¯t going to be a fish dinner,¡± he said as his chromatophores shed in wry amusement. ¡°We knew about as much as anyone but that wasn¡¯t much. All we knew for sure is that they utterly destroyed the household troops and that they used ancient weapons but that those ancient weapons worked. At least we were somewhat prepared, unlike a lot of others.¡±

    He stopped to eat a few mouthfuls.

    ¡°Those first few days went well,¡± the captain said while the other Juon ate. ¡°There was no real opposition in space except for mines and drones. That being said both the mines, which were missiles set to target anything within range and those damned drones were both very dangerous and while no ship was destroyed several had to leave the system after getting too close. The first ce they targeted both for tactical and pride reasons was Zeus. When they got there they encountered their first real fight. The ce was bristling with missiles and several ships were lost but we imed our first victory¡­ sort of. Once they started taking the stations they found out that they were deserted. There was nothing there but traps and auto-turrets, no people. We fought a battle against nothing but AI¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I heard from the marines that taking those stations was hellish. No people, like the captain said but those empty halls killed a lot of Juon,¡± the old first sergeant said. ¡°We were starting to see the pure evil cunning that we were up against.¡± He paused while he sipped on some kelph tea. ¡°When we finally took the ce it was¡­ weird. It looked gutted. You could see where they had just torn stuff off the walls, the deck, wherever. It¡¯s like they ripped out parts of the factories and took them. We didn¡¯t know what happened or where they went but all of the gas miners were missing. We found out pretty quick that they took what they could and retreated into Jupiter itself. They modified those miners and turned them into flying factories and ship building nts and went down where we couldn¡¯t reach them. They turned Jupiter itself into a fortress.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± She said. ¡°In case anyone was wondering exactly how long one of those leviathans can stay down in Jupiter the answer is forever. They were, in ssic Terran fashion, over designed so that they could stay down as long as they needed. In this case, they were down there the whole time.¡±

    ¡°What did they eat?¡± one of the Z¡¯uush asked.

    ¡°Jovian rice, the one thing they would never run out of.¡±

    ¡°Oh I love that stuff!¡± one of the Juon enthused. ¡°It makes the best sushi.¡±

    ¡°Well it should,¡± She said as she ate. ¡°Jovian sushi rice is designed to do just that.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s gically engineered?¡± the Juon asked. She justughed.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that it was gically engineered. I said that it was designed. Jovian rice is a synthetic edible polymer.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s stic ?!¡±

    ¡°Yep but it¡¯s an easily digested nutritionallyplete stic,¡± She said. ¡°It¡¯s what really ended the Sol Wars. Once they got production up and running they could produce an unlimited amount. It ended the famine. The guns were secondary. So, you had gigantic flying factories with unlimited food in a ce that couldn¡¯t be reached by the Imperial forces. You might guess that would cause some problemster on.¡±

    ¡°That they did,¡± the first sergeant said, ¡°but that waster on in the story. At this point things were going ok. Zeus was neutralized, or so we thought, and we took the surface of Mars and Luna. The fighting was pretty heavy and we took a lot of casualties but we, in the end won, that battle. What we didn¡¯t know was that the Terrans expected to lose. They didn¡¯tmit a lot to keeping the surface of either. They knew that it was a losing fight. They just wanted us to pay a price in blood before they retreated underground.¡± He sighed heavily. ¡°We thought we had the upper hand until we fucked up and tried to go into the tunnels. Those warrens¡­ It was like chasing a venom eel into its den. We didn¡¯t get a hundred yards before we started dying in droves. We had been issued heavybat armor and it did hold up well against their small arms¡­ for the first couple of months¡­ but it wasn¡¯t small arms in those tunnels. We had our first introductions to Terran heavy machine guns, grenadeunchers, mines, and all the other assorted nastiness that you guys know, love, and have asionally been issued.¡± The old Juonughed ruefully. ¡°Needless to say our first encounter with that shit did not go well. In every case our forces were driven out of the tunnels. In the end all we could do was hold the surface to keep them down and even that sucked¡­ the fuckers...¡± He waved his tentacles around angrily. ¡°Standing guard around those eel holes just opened us up to raids from below. They would boil up out of the ground somewhere, usually somece we hadn¡¯t found yet because it wasn¡¯t there yesterday, hit us hard, dive back down a hole, then blow up the passage,¡± he snarled. ¡°Then, a couple of dayster the whole thing would happen again.¡± He shed anger. ¡°Holding those positions was just an exercise in attrition, just like the whole ground war. Those goddamn idiots in charge had no idea what they were doing.¡± He stopped to sip more tea. ¡°At least I wasn¡¯t on Terra¡­ poor fucklings¡­ They didn¡¯t have a chance.¡±

    He started to mutter and sip tea.

    ¡°Yeah, we knew that holding the surface of Mars and Luna was a lost cause but Terra, we decided we were going to hold that shit,¡± She said almost sympathetically. ¡°That is where we decided to really fight. Mars and Luna were just ces to hide people and factories below ground, purely a defensive fight. Terra, on the other hand...¡±

    ¡°Was hell,¡± the old Juon continued. ¡°We thought we were warriors,¡± he said shaking his head. ¡°Just because we could march in a parade or that our uniforms were perfect we thought we were good soldiers.¡± He shed his chromatophores in a wry smile. ¡°Our drills and war games were pathetic, nothing like what we do today. Maybe a unit had participated in attacking a pirate outpost with ten times the forces that were needed because units were desperate for a ribbon on their pennant. We weren¡¯t warriors, not like you kids. The Terrans, back then, <em>were</em> warriors. They were if anything even harder than their grandchildren today. Those fighters, they had a decade of fighting in unimaginable horror. They didn¡¯t blink. They didn¡¯t flinch. They didn¡¯t miss. We had a very rude awakening pretty damn quickly.¡± He paused for another sip of tea. ¡°They were like ghosts, vengeful spirits. One second they were there, pelting you with fire and the second they were gone without a trace. They would even take their dead, if they had any.¡±

    ¡°You couldn¡¯t scan for them?¡± one of the Juon asked.

    ¡°If anyone turned on an active scanner they would likely be beaten to death,¡± the first sergeant said with a ruefulugh. ¡°Scanning with the crap we were issued back then was the absolutest thing you wanted to do. We made the mistake of thinking of the Terrans as a primitive backward people but they weren¡¯t. They never were. They were a sophisticated technologically advanced race and had thirty years to study our tech. They knew exactly what they were doing. With their scanner camouge we were lucky to pick up anything at 500 meters. Usually we had to be within 200 meters to pick them up and by then we were well within range. What made matters worse was that they could detect our active scanner signals from well over a kilometer away, just perfect for their mortars. They would have a mortar team behind their skirmish line. Turn on a scanner and get a shell on your head. Thank the lineage that they weren¡¯t like the ones they have now. Mostly it was just frag¡­ until we fucked up.¡±

    ¡°Fucked up?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we did the one thing you should never, ever do. We got into an atrocity contest with the Terrans.¡±

 Chapter 12: The Luau and a History Lesson Conclusion

    Chapter 12: The Luau and a History Lesson Conclusion

    "The Terrans had these viges," the old first sergeant continued, "They were these small settlements all over mostly popted with the young, the old, and people who didn''t want to or couldn''t fight for one reason or another. These ces were clearly marked as nonbatant and just kept to themselves, growing food and trying to survive as best as they could," the old Juon said. "We had them under surveince and could confirm that the only contact that took ce between them and the fighters was when the fighters dropped off people too wounded to fight anymore and supplies. That''s right, the fighters supplied them, not the other way around. They were one hundred percent not involved."

    "I don''t like where this is heading." one of the troopers said grimly.

    "You would be right. After over a year of getting absolutely nowhere anywhere, the leaders decided that those viges just had to be helping the fighters. They were making food after all," the old Juon spat. "That was their official reason. Actually, they were just pissed off that they were getting their asses handed to them. They also really didn''t get the Terrans. They figured that if they started reprisal attacks that it would damage morale and force them to surrender." The old Juon smiled grimly. "Of course, that wasn''t what happened at all. Never get into an atrocity contest with Terrans. Speaking of," he said as he turned to the Terrans, "I am proud to be your ally and will always remember what you did during the Great War but what you did to the Feds¡­ That was just wrong."

    "Hey, they pissed us off," She said matter of factly, "Besides, we couldn''t fight a conventional war. We would have lost. If we let them mass their entire fleet against us even, we wouldn''t have been able to hold the line." She said, then shed the evilest grin. "So, we figured that since they had no problems with surprise attacks, they would be ok with us returning the favor. If we started just popping into random systems and proceeded to fuck some shit up, they would have to guard everywhere and still fight us. A few Moray missile boats zip in and nuke a few space stations here. A few Stilettos pop in and wipe out some shipping there. A fucking carrier group or a Sovngarde ss battleship pop in and just keep destroying until they can mass enough of a force to try to stop them. Each strike diverted forces and had every system in the Federation screaming for ships to protect them in case they were next. It also made it very personal. It would be one thing if the war was a distant thing. They could ignore it, saying that they were probably in the right. It waspletely another thing when they woke up every morning wondering if that day was the day they were going to get a visit. It got people asking questions." She shrugged. "It was fucked up, but it worked. They weren''t Terrans. They weren''t used to the idea of everything burning like we are. It wasn''t long before they didn''t want to y anymore. Operation Fuck Some Shit Up was a sess. Personally, I think we should have kept at it."

    "Yeah, but blowing up schools? Libraries? Universities? Hospitals? Culturalndmarks?"

    "Hey, we told them to evacuate in plenty of time and yes, culturalndmarks. That fifteen thousand year old temple?¡­ gone. That ancient pce?¡­ bye-bye. Anything and everything that allowed a to operate on a daily basis or defined the species as a people was systematically destroyed. We got that shit down to a science. Give the Retribution a couple of days, and there would be nothing left. A light strike group could do tremendous damage in a few hours. It was fucked up, but so was going for our throat when we were in the state that we were in. Fuck ''em."

    "See," the old Juon said as he gestured to She. "They don''t even feel bad about it. This is the game we started with these evil fucks." He shook his head. "It had what was perhaps an even worse effect as well." He sighed heavily. "I am an Imperial soldier. I will fight and die onmand. Tell me to attack a collective warrior unarmed, and I will do it without hesitation," he said and then paused, "I am not, however, part of a death squad. I am not a murderer. I am not a terrorist. Telling Imperial soldiers to wipe out unarmed children did not work. Hell, Terrans won''t do that."

    He paused again and looked at the Terrans.

    "Right?" He asked with just a touch of uncertainty in his voice.

    "Not even porkie kids," She said firmly. "Not even the piglets. Even during the Federation war, when we burned down the schools, we made damn sure they were empty, and that was us at our most pissed off."

    "Right," the old first sergeant said, "a lot of us t out refused. So they called it a mutiny and arrested entirepanies of soldiers who refused en-masse. Other Juon would go to one of the targets, and as soon as the first Terran fired a shot, they would surrender."

    The old Juonughed for the first time during the story.

    "It was fucking hrious. One old Terran would capture twenty Juon troopers at once. Fighter pilots would suddenly ''lose control'' of their ships and crash. It was aplete shit show¡­ The ''Great Mutiny'' as we called it."

    Heughed some more and then stopped.

    "Unfortunately, some soldiers followed their orders." He sighed and looked at his crew. "We didn''t know something very, very important. Long ago in ancient times, a war was waged which was so horrible that after it had ended, the nations of Terra met in order to make some rules to at least try to prevent the worst of the horrors they created. When the Terran war chiefs and generals met to n the war, they decided to follow this convention. They were treating us as a legitimate foe and were following those rules."

    He stopped and took a sip.

    "Once we started hitting civilian targets, those rules went straight out the window."

    He shook his head.

    "It was like they started having apetition on who could be the most fucked up, and each week there was some new horroring out of their underground factories. Most of them you know, white phosphorous, aerosol rounds packed with all sorts of Hell, fragmenting toxic bullets, chemical and biological weapons, and all the rest of the forty Hells we now have in our arsenals as well. Almost everything that we used on the bugs was used on us. Then, they perfected the art of fucked up with the red-tip and red-mist."

    A collective moan issued from the Juon.

    "What''s a red-tip and red-mist?" T''sunk''al asked.

    "One of the few things I can''t get my hands on and wouldn''t sell if I did," She replied. "Those are kept under lock and key in the vault of fucked up toys with the rest of the fucked up toys. It''s nano-tech, thousands of nano-machines designed to tear apart a target from the inside¡­ starting with the nerves just to be nasty. Once hit by a red-tip round, there is nothing anyone can do to help a victim except euthanasia. I have five. I used to have six. I am never doing that to someone again."

    She shuddered.

    "They work great on bugs, though," she said cheerfully. "It''s fun to watch them twitch."

    "Red-mist is the same thing in grenade or mortar form." the old Juon said quietly. "It drills in from the outside..."

    "Yeah, got to see an airstrike with that stuff on some bugs once," Jacob said with a smile. "It''s the only time I felt sorry for them."

    "Fortunately for the whole gxy, they are expensive as Hell to make, and even we Terrans have some limits¡­ unless you are a bug," She said while smiling entirely too much.

    "Yeah, we thought we had it bad before. Now, we were going through a living Hell," the first sergeant said grimly. "Each day, another unit got hit with something right from the depths of the abyss, and often it was something brand new. Casualties were heavy, very heavy as we somehow tried to adapt."

    He paused.

    "Thank the Empress I was on Mars. Terra had turned into the fires of Hell."

    "Yeah, I heard about it from my grandmother," She said. "She was part of one of the surface strike teams. Even that old monster felt bad about everything that went down, and she has human skulls in her house as decorations."

    "Sheesh," the old Juon said. "She have any beaks?"

    "Um¡­" She said, looking away.

    "Figures. Back in the day, Terrans were about ten times worse than they are now. They were fucking monsters," the old Juon said without malice. "Speaking of ten times worse," he said, "our brass was entirely made up of the Emperor''s hole lickers eager for glory. They kept throwing Juon and resources at Terra. We were almost grateful when the long-range attack drones started flying out of Jupiter and hunting anything that moved. It meant that they couldn''t throw reinforcements around as freely, and even they weren''t safe in theirfy ships and station anymore. It''s fucked up, but we took great satisfaction in the fact that they started getting hit. A general even got eaten by red mist in his own ship."

    The Juonughed grimly.

    "I hated that hole licker," he said as heughed even more. "It was about that time that the Emperor was getting tired of no progress and reced his buddies with officers that were worth a fuck."

    The old juon shed colors of relief.

    "The first thing they did was stop the reprisal attacks and pulled everyone off of Terra. The ground forces there had turned into nothing but moist targets by that point," he said with a shrug. "We never set foot on Terra again. The only thing we did was blockade the and do long-range bombardment and airstrikes to keep them in their holes, and even that was risky. Their drones were getting better each month. We were losing good pilots to AI''s. It wasn''t good for morale, I will tell you that."

    "Yeah," the captain said. "It was about then that the next big expeditionary force was sent. I was a Lancer pilot and had the dubious honor of being a ''drone dancer''. Our job was to engage the drones and take them out. You had to be pretty good to do the job and not get nailed, especially after they started arming those squids. It''s funny, a missile with its own missiles. I remember when they started shooting back. It was quite the surprise."

    The captain chuckled as he looked off into space.

    "AI or not, fighting those bastards was the most fun I have ever had."

    "Well, I''m d that at least one of us was enjoying themselves," the old trooper said, making a rude gesture.

    The captainughed.

    "Sorry, I forgot myself there for a moment." He continued. "Things stayed like that for almost another year. We were at a stalemate. We got better at dealing with the drones, and they got better at defending their holes. They did eventually lose Luna. We did achieve that small victory. We didn''t manage to dig all of them out, but they had to cease operations and just hide deep under the surface¡­ for a while. Mars was mostly neutralized. There would still be attacks, but the casualty rate was down even if we still couldn''t take the tunnels."

    "No, we couldn''t," the old Juon said. "If we managed to get too far, they would just blow the tunnel, copsing it on top of us. So we took advantage of that by using AI-controlled attack bots. With them, we could force them to blow their own tunnels, keeping them at bay at least a little bit."

    "We seemed to be making progress, slow, expensive progress but definite progress," the captain said, "morale was high, casualties were down, the Terrans were reduced to hiding in their holes¡­ or so we thought."

    He paused to take a sip of coffee and winced at the taste.

    "Gods, this stuff is awful. Then, things took a definite turn for the worse. From Jupiter and Terra, spacecraftunched. The Terrans had finally built their first fleet," he said as he shook his head, "We weren''t too worried at first. The first thing that started popping up is something you guys would recognize today. They haven''t changed all that much, the humble Turtle light cargo vessel."

    Heughed ruefully.

    "We thought it wasn''t that big of a deal. Sure they made things a little difficult. They could jump between Terra and Jupiter and go deep enough into Jupiter''s atmosphere that one of the miners coulde up and get them without being exposed for too long. Big deal, right? Wrong. That meant that Zeus got metal and other resources that greatly increased their production capacity, which meant more ships. We also thought that the Turtles just had inteary capacity. Wrong again. Every now and then, a Turtle would go¡­ somewhere else."

    The captain chuckled.

    "They went to what is now the secret Terran shipyard which is Empress knows where. They were now free to set up big high capacity factories and huge shipyards, and we all know exactly how industrious Terrans can be when they want to, and they wanted to believe me."

    The captain refilled his coffee dish.

    "I seriously don''t know why I drink this shit."

    "Caffeine is one hell of a drug," She said, raising her own mug.

    "Bleagh," The captain said as he took another sip. "Things went downhill and downhill quickly after that. There was now no limit to the Terran''s production capacity. We were now fighting Terran industry, a fight nobody wants. A few ships became dozens and not just Turtles. The first spacecraft that are now the Moray patrol craft appeared, and we had to contend with fast missile boats with real jump drives that could effectively raid our shipping not just on Terra but on our supply routes. Then, the fun really started. The Shrike mark ones appeared. They don''t have interster drives, but a modified Turtle can haul one. Those early Shrikes weren''t anywhere as deadly as the Mark Twelves, thank the lineage, but they were still nasty. We now had a real fight on our hands," the captain said as he sipped his coffee. "Then, the first Stiletto corvettes popped up, and those fuckers were every bit as nasty as they are now. Combined Stiletto, Moray, and Shrike attack groups started to prowl the inner sr system engaging anything that got too close. We were knocking them around pretty good, but as soon as we took one out, two more jumped into the system. There was no end to them. Then¡­ We got the shock of our lives." the captain said as he took a sip and looked at his crew. "The first nukes. Suddenly even a little Shrike was a threat to anything we had. To use my favorite Terran phrase, ''shit got real''. We had a very real battle now. Not only were we trying to hold space against an enemy with a seemingly endless supply of spacecraft, but with space superiority contested, our surface forces once again were being attacked and attacked for real. The Terrans had just been buying time, and now¡­ they were attacking in force with an army muchrger and well equipped than we could imagine."

    "Yeah," the old first sergeant said. "Mars became a real battleground. Those bastards had built armored vehicles, Shrikes, heavy weapons, the whole thing and boiled up out of the ground like flesh flies. We didn''t know what hit us." The old Juon said as he sipped his tea. "Thank the creators that they had calmed down a bit from our stupid reprisal attacks. They actually took prisoners and treated them ording to the Convention of Geneva. Even with reinforcements, we ultimately lost Mars. Luna was getting invaded as well as the survivors there were counterattacking, so the surviving Mars forces were transferred there in an attempt to somehow hold it, but space superiority that close to Terra was iffy at best. We couldn''t keep Terran forces fromnding. We did give them Hell, though. We were on Luna for the whole war. They never could take it."

    "It was around year three that things came to a head," the captain said. "Terra wasn''t the only system that was suffering under the new Emperor, and severals had gone from civil unrest to full bore resistance groups. Suddenly, Terran weapons and equipment started appearing in other systems. The Kalesh system, suddenly very well equipped with both arms and spacecraft, exploded into full revolt, and the Mux soon followed. The Terrans had started reaching out to other Imperial systems and were handing out an unending fountain of arms, spacecraft, supplies, rations, you name it. Turtles were swarming like karga all over, and Stilettos and Morays were being handed out like party favors. It was like a hundred Shes were dancing around the Empire," the captain said with a heartyugh. "Things were going downhill fast and not just in Sol anymore. The problems were starting to spread, and Turtles were spotted in over a dozen systems. We were looking at a real problem."

    "A hundred Shes," T''sunk''al said with augh. "Now there''s an image."

    "Right?" the captainughed. "Well, the Emperor was losing it. Everyone was ming everyone. The military highmand was freaking out. Terra was bad enough, but now three systems were in full revolt, and AKs were starting to go bang in a dozen more. The Emperor then gave the order to turn Terra into ss. Talk about aplete and utter waste of time! Massive bombardment of Terra, Luna, and Mars did take ce, but what the Hell did they hit? There was nothing on the surface! It was aplete and total waste of time. They were shelling two lifeless worlds and a that was mostly ash and dead scrund. Any remaining civilians had been relocated out of the system or moved underground into an ever-expanding deep tunnelwork. There was nothing on the surface left to hit! In return, they ced ship after ship in range of surface drones, and Terran attack craft were jumping in and out of the system constantly. Losses were mounting, and Terran weapons and ships were still being exported en-masse. The real target worth hitting was not in Sol, and we had and still have no idea where it is."

    "Yeah, the whole Empire was being shaken," the old first sergeant said. "There were only three systems where there was any real revolt and a few more where there was now an armed resistance. It was just a little smudgepared to the entirety of the Empire, but this had never happened before. The Emperor was now nearly insane and was making genocidal orders left and right. Terra was pretty much immune, but Kalesh and Mux were vulnerable, and the loss of life was getting serious."

    "The murderous orders from the Emperor did quell a lot of systems, but the Mux and the Kalesh were damn near Terran, and it just made them more violent and just like on Terra, a lot of the Imperial forces balked at genocide," the captain said. "In fact, reports of Imperial forces turning on the death squads and defending the civilians were starting to be more and more frequent. The Great Mutiny was spreading just like Terran arms, but this mutiny wasn''t just quitting or surrendering. The soldiers were actively engaging the death squads. The Great Houses were starting to be very ufortable, and there were rumblings that something was afoot. Imperial forces were already starting to turn, and the Great Houses were starting to mobilize their soldiers. We were looking down the barrel of a full bore civil war."

    "Damn, Jessie said, "I had no idea it got that bad."

    "Oh, it did," the captain said. "Sol was bing an Imperial scrapyard. Mux and Kalesh were inplete revolt, and several other systems were starting to fall apart. Imperial forces started shooting other Imperial forces, and the Great Houses were getting concerned to the point that their private armies were mobilized. The Empire, which had stood for two thousand years, was in more peril than it had been in centuries, perhaps longer."

    The captain sipped some more coffee, and ripples of revulsion danced across his hide.

    "And thus," he said, "Wee to the rise of the Cyan Empress. The Empire was falling apart, Terra was aplete shit-show with Kalesh and Mux catching up quick, her brother hadpletely lost it, and the Great Houses were starting to really consider a coup. One night she decided that enough was enough. That night she went to the Royal Museum and took Keralx, the moraxel wielded by the ck Emperor fifteen hundred years ago. The next day she traveled to Esteria, the location of the Golden Pce, and summoned the heads of the Great Houses. They arrived, and she had a little chat with them. Nobody knows for certain what was said, but in the end, they ceased their mobilization and pledged fealty to her. A few dayster, she returned to the royal pce."

    The captain looked over at his crew.

    "You guys probably know what happened next. The next morning the Emperor, who often slept until noon, was awakened by his servants and was told that he should go to the throne room. He, with some annoyance, eventually showed up. To his shock, his sister was sitting on the throne in a pretty cyan dress, Keralx in hand and their father behind her. He was then told that his reign was over, his bags packed, and a ship was waiting. Heughed and told her that there was no way that this would happen. He had too many lords behind him. The Empress had a long table carried in covered with a cyan-dappled sheet. She then said, ''Oh, you mean them?'' and had the sheet removed, revealing the severed faces of all of his supporters. ''Don''t look so surprised, brother dear,'' she said as he vomited. ''You wanted the grand old days back. This is what we did back then.'' He then realized why her gown was cyan. That was thest anyone saw or heard of him."

    The captain paused and smiled.

    "There are plenty of rumors, but all anyone knows for sure is that neither color nor tentacle of him has even been seen again."

    "I''ve always liked her," She said with augh. "She has style."

    "That she does," the captain said with augh. "In keeping with the ''You wanted the old days back.'' theme, what happened next was one of the bloodiest purges in recent history with a lot of it done by her hand. Turns out that she is a ''de dancer'' and studied the martial art as part of her royal education. It isn''t a truebat style, but she is a walking food processor. She went from system to system, to, and on each one that suffered, she had the Juon responsible hauled before her, and she sliced them apart always wearing the same cyan stained gown." The captain chuckled, "She wasn''t fucking around either. That little golden age cult? Most fell to her de as she sardonically quoted their philosophy back to them."

    "Nice," T''sunk''al said, rubbing his mandibles in a chuckle. "I like her."

    "The shooting on Terra, Kalesh, Mux, and the other systems in conflict stopped immediately, and all troops were withdrawn," the captain said as he gagged on another sip of coffee. "She personally showed up in Terra and called for the leader of the Terrans toe forth. It shoulde as no surprise that Tak Nakamura was selected to speak for Terra. Shended on Hentai Ind with no real notice," the captain said, giggling. "Remember when we said that many of us had stopped wearing clothes?"

    "No!" one of the troopers eximed.

    "Yes!" the captain replied. "Shended on the beach and beheld dozens of naked Juon, myself included," he said whileughing so hard he was shaking. "We didn''t know what to do. Half of us ran for the water, and the other half of us bowed."

    "What did you do?"

    "Well, I did abination of bowing and trying to bury my naughty bits in the sand as fast as I could."

    "What did the Empress do?" one of his crew asked as they were allughing and gasping for breath.

    "Well, at first, she was furious," the captain said, stillughing. "She thought we had been stripped. Then she saw piles of clothes on the beach, and sheughed her beak off. Whileughing nearly uncontrobly, she announced that she would debark again in ten minutes and then, giggling like a hatchling, went back into the ship."

    It took a while for the Juon, the captain included, to stopughing.

    "Remember that the next time you are so embarrassed that you feel like throwing yourself out of an airlock. The Empress saw me naked," Captain Zzuural said with augh. "Well, after ten minutes passed and we had fled, she once again debarked and toured the camp. She was quite pleasantly surprised at how nice our amodations were, and after getting a pina cda, she settled herself down into a tide pool and drank while she nibbled on starfish and sea urchins. Tak showed up pretty quickly, and once he did, she had the new Lord Chancellor and the first militarymanders hauled out, and she said, ''These people do not represent the Empire nor our values.'' She then hacked them into pieces in front of him."

    The captain chuckled.

    "You have to admit. That is one Hell of a way to start negotiations. She and Tak hammered out a treaty over the afternoon. She started things off with, and I quote, ''You fuckers are not worth the trouble. You want out. You are out.'' the rest of the time was stuff like possession of dead systems and the like. She made the same pronouncement across the entire Empire saying that she promised change, but if any system wanted to leave the protection of the Empire, the Empire had better things to do than stop them."

    The captain paused to refill his dish.

    "Why am I still drinking this?" he said. "In the end, only the Kalesh system chose to leave. The Mux voted to remain. Kalesh and Sol are conveniently close, so a new treaty was drawn up to include territory between them, and the new entity was recognized as the Terran Republic." The captain said with a thump of his tentacle. "And the rest is history."

    "I still don''t understand why you are allies." a Z''uush said.

    "Well," She responded, "there are two big reasons. The first is what happened after the shooting stopped. The porkies had wormed their way into the Federation, and no sooner than we had the Empire out of our hair, the Federation showed up with a fleet and ''invited'' us to join. They then presented us with a long list of bullshit requirements like disarming and a maximum size to our defense forces andst not but not least, ''the restoration of property uwfully taken from its original owners''. Needless to say we told them in no uncertain terms to go and fuck themselves. While they were trying to negotiate terms that we would ept, the Imperialpanies we used to do business with started getting back in touch, wondering if we could do business again. On one hand, we had a lot of bullshit, and on the other, we had multi-billion credit contracts."

    She shrugged.

    "It went without saying that we turned our backs on the Feds and started making those sweet, sweet credits. Business ties grew into social and cultural ties, and in a few years, we all decided to let things slide, and in a few more, we actually did. The other big reason is that we are culturally much more simr to the Empire than the Federation. We have a lot of the same cultural values. It''s weird but true. We do. The Juon and Terrans eat the same things, find the same things funny, we even curse the same. Once we got past the whole ''we tried to kill each other'' thing, we found out how alike we were, including our ability to get past the whole ''we tried to kill each other'' thing."

    She paused to drink some coffee.

    "We were on very good terms, but we weren''t true ''allies'' until the Great War. Project lifeline turned to direct military involvement pretty quickly."

    "I''ll tell you one thing," the captain said with a smile. "I will never forget the Japura system. We were fighting a losing battle about to lose yet another world, and suddenly the Terrans tore into the system guns zing." The captain smiled. "It was the first time I actually felt hope in a long while."

    "I guess it does make sense, everything considered." one of the Z''uush said.

    "Well, as much as anything involving the Terrans does anyhow," the captain said. He then turned to his crew. "Ok, guys, you have the rest of the day to get yourselves into something resembling fighting condition, then we have an actual job to do." He turned to She and, in a much quieter voice, asked, "So what''s next for you guys, or do I want to know?"

    "There are some jobs we have been thinking about but haven''t done because we didn''t want to draw too much heat," She said with a smile. "Now that we are Federation enemy number one and can''t really get any more heat than we already have, we are going to step things up a bit." She smiled impishly. "I don''t want to give away the surprise, but you will see it on the news."

 Chapter The Zuush Used to Be So Nice

    Chapter The Z''uush Used to Be So Nice

    ¡°Oh Gods, I think I¡¯m going to be sick,¡± Detective Fre said as she mped her antennae tightly against her head. Her superb sense of smell, usually a great asset in her line of work was overloaded with the stench of blood, viscera, and something else¡­ An acrid chemical smell that seemed to cut through the mucus that was desperately trying to shield her sensitive chemoreceptors.

    ¡°Yeah, this is a mess,¡± Inspector Shawn Vance said as he surveyed the scene, two dozen lifeforms, mostly human, scattered about in an industrial warehouse. He calmly pulled out a multiscanner and started to survey the scene, careful to avoid scattered viscera and detached limbs.

    ¡°There are reports of rapid multiple explosions from people in the area,¡± Detective Fre said as she also started her scan.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t doubt it,¡± the inspector said as he crouched and scanned a small metal cup. ¡°Terran, 45 caliber ACP from the looks of it. There are plenty more of them too,¡± he said as he surveyed the room. ¡°Short tactical shotgun casings as well¡­ too many of both to be semi-auto.¡±

    <em>¡°Terran?¡±</em> Detective Fre asked. ¡°Here?¡±

    ¡°Why not? They are surprisingly easy to get. It¡¯s just that most of us Federation types don¡¯t use them.¡±

    ¡°Do you think it was humans, maybe Terrans?¡±

    ¡°Doubt it. Or at least it wasn¡¯t just humans,¡± the inspector replied.

    He pointed at a human that had been literally torn in half.

    "I don¡¯t know of any humans that can use what did that,¡± he said calmly.

    ¡°Urp¡­ What¡­ What did that?¡±

    ¡°Well...¡± the inspector said as he walked over to a masonry wall with a huge sh across it.

    He took a stylus from his pocket and scraped the wall and it crumbled at his touch.

    ¡°We will need theb geeks to confirm it but my money is on a modified ultrasonic jackhammer. One powerful enough to do this sort of damage would be big, heavy, and more importantly the vibrations would be far more than a human could handle. Definitely non-human.¡±

    He looked at the carnage.

    ¡°Whoever did this could wield it like it was a glow-stick. Just look.¡±

    ¡°Ugh. I see your point,¡± Detective Fre said as she looked at the string of pulverized bodies.

    The inspector surveyed the scene with a practiced eye. He had been awman for over one hundred and fifty years. He had seen simr scenes but most of them were from the Sol Wars, not on the capital streets. He suppressed a shback until he realized that it was important.

    ¡°Grenades,¡± he said.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°They had grenades. Look,¡± he said as he pointed to the worst of the mess.

    He carefully walked over and started scanning.

    ¡°Yep. Slivers of metal wire all over. It was hot too¡­ sma grenades with fragmentation.¡±

    ¡°Wha? Do those even exist? Where would they get something like that?¡±

    ¡°They didn¡¯t get them, they made them,¡± The inspector replied. ¡°It¡¯s an old human trick that was quite popr with the Terrans. You get a high capacity powercell, usually one for a weapon, hack it, disable the safeties and regtor, and then a simple circuit can get the whole thing to instantly discharge causing a sma explosion. Wrap it in wire and presto, one sma-frag grenade,¡± he said continuing to scan. ¡°You really need to know what you are doing though, one slip up and it goes off in your face. Even I wouldn¡¯t risk it anymore. I¡¯m too rusty.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ Terrans did this?¡±

    ¡°As much as I would like to say yes my gut says no,¡± the inspector said.

    He had plenty of reasons to hate the Terrans, plenty of them. The fact that he and so many other arcology dwellers had absolutely nothing to do with what happened didn¡¯t matter to them. Hell, he would have arrested the assholes responsible himself¡­ if there was any court left anywhere in which to give them a trial. It didn¡¯t matter. They were hunted down and killed just because they were guilty of being able to pay the rent or even if they just had a job in one like he did. They were driven right into the clutches of the raiders like sheep to the ughter. Gods he hated them but he had a job to do. He would hate them on his own time.

    ¡°Terrans haven¡¯t made sma balls in a very long time,¡± the inspector continued. ¡°If they wanted a grenade they would just use a Terran grenade, not fuck around with a power cell. sma balls are more the providence of insurgents¡­ insurgents¡­ Terran weapons¡­ Terran techniques¡­ Fuck. I know who did this.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Z¡¯uush.¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    ¡°Yes. This has Z¡¯uush written all over it, even the jackhammer. Terrans don¡¯t use those. They use explosives. Sonic jackhammers are Federation mining tools.¡±

    ¡°But the Z¡¯uush? They are so¡­ nice.¡±

    ¡°Not all of them, not anymore,¡± the inspector replied. ¡°They were fighting for quite awhile, plenty of time for the nice to wear off.¡±

    The inspector continued his scan.

    ¡°The people who did this were experienced professional soldiers, not thugs.¡±

    He walked over to the doors.

    ¡°They blew the doors open¡­ using Terran detonation cord,¡± he said as he scanned the shattered frame. ¡°Then they hit them with the grenades and swept in with Terran boarding shotguns and forty-five caliber submachine guns with the jackhammer taking care of anyone who got too close. These poor bastards probably didn¡¯t even know what hit them.¡±

    The inspector then went over to a knocked over table and pointed at some bags on the floor.

    ¡°They didn¡¯t take the drugs¡­¡±

    He then scanned the room again and pointed at another bag on the floor across the room.

    ¡°Or the cash. They were already paid. This was a hit. We are dealing with a mercenary squad. This is bad, really bad.¡±

    ¡°A Z¡¯uush mercenary squad?¡± the detective said incredulously. ¡°I just can¡¯t get my head around it.¡±

    ¡°Better start bending that noggin. It makes perfect sense. After any war there are unemployed soldiers, the Z¡¯uush would be no exception. A group of them join up and start selling their skills to the highest bidder. Hell, even I almost did it after the Sol Wars.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I was all fucked in the head and just couldn¡¯t shift gears. I had been fighting for so long, not as awman but just as a killer at that point. Killing was all I knew for a very very long time. It took a whole lot to be able to crawl out of the abyss. My Martha was what saved me. If it hadn¡¯t been for her, things could have been a lot different. These guys¡­ I get it. Nowhere to go, unable to go back, and someone is willing to pay good credits for them to keep on doing what they do best. Now we have a team of professional killers scuttling around the capital and we only have ourselves to me. We are going to be dealing with these guys and others like them for a very long time.¡±

    ¡°I still just can¡¯t believe it. The Z¡¯uush were just so¡­ nice.¡±

 Chapter Hitting the Road

    Chapter Hitting the Road

    ¡°You¡¯re doing it wrong.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been doing this for over sixty years, kid. I think I know what I am doing,¡± a somewhat vexed Kalesh said to the red-headed tween who was lounging on top of one of the engines.

    ¡°Well, you are still doing it wrong.¡±

    The Kalesh turned one of his eyestalks to face the kid.

    ¡°Child, I have been working on these since before your dad was born.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, on that Republic garbage, not a real engine.¡±

    ¡°You are about to get a spanking and don¡¯t think that I won... (snap)¡­. Oh goddammit...¡±

    The tween just startedughing.

    ¡°I told you-¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have some scrap to price or something?¡±

    ¡°Mister Kolvac told me to help. He want¡¯s you assholes out of here ASAP.¡±

    ¡°Did you get that potty-mouth from him?¡±

    ¡°No, I got it from my dad...¡± the girl said her lip quivering slightly.

    ¡°Oh, Jesus kid I¡¯m sorr-¡±

    The girl just pointed andughed.

    ¡°Gotcha!¡±

    ¡°Why you little shit!¡± Chief Jaklin said making quite a rude gesture.

    The girl justughed louder.

    ¡°If you insist on being a pain in my ass then go and get my micrometers and a new ion channel,¡± Jaklin said as he tossed a brokenponent across the deck.

    ¡°Do you even have an ass?¡± Miss Smithughed as she hopped down from her perch and scampered off.

    ¡°Oh that little bitch...¡± Jaklin said with a little chuckle.

    ¡°Just like her father,¡± She said with augh as she walked up and handed him a cup of Kalesh tea.

    ¡°Yeah she is,¡± Jaklin said wobbling his eyestalks, ¡°I miss that fucker.¡±

    ¡°Is that expensive?¡± She asked as she pointed at the cracked ion channel.

    ¡°No more than a few thousand credits, tops.¡±

    ¡°You must really like fucking Jovian ramen.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t fucking realize you were the new fucking quartermaster,¡± Jaklin said with no small measure of annoyance.

    She, knowing when the chief was about to go Yellowstone, just quietly backed away.

    Miss Smith trotted up with a new part in one hand and an ornately crafted box in the other.

    ¡°Here you go. One type eight mark fifteen ion channel,¡± she said as she whipped out a tablet for the chief to sign.

    ¡°After all we¡¯ve paid you are going to charge me for this?¡± Jaklin grumbled as he signed the invoice.

    ¡°When I am able to squat and just shit one out I will start handing them out for free. Until then, pay up.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you are a chip off of the old block aren¡¯t you,¡± Jaklin chucked. ¡°Now hand it over.¡±

    ¡°This is thest one so don¡¯t screw it up.¡±

    ¡°Just hand me the goddamn part and fuck off.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want me to do it for you?¡± Miss Smith said as she opened the wooden box. ¡°Holy shit! Telk-karith vernier scale micrometers! How much do you want for these?¡±

    ¡°You have good taste,¡± Jaklin said with pride, ¡°but they are not for sale at any price.¡±

    ¡°Ten thousand?¡± Miss Smith asked hopefully, ¡°Twenty thousand?¡±

    ¡°Exactly how big is your allowance?¡± Jaklin asked as Miss Smith reverently handed him the six-centimeter.

    ¡°Twenty-five thousand?¡±

    ¡°When I am able to squat and shit out a precision toolspany I will sell these until then fuck off.¡±

    ¡°Thirty thousand?¡± she asked as she ogled the measuring instruments.

    ¡°You are far too young to look at anything that way and when I said no I meant it,¡± the chief said firmly then he smiled. ¡°But if you stop being a pain in my ass and give me a hand I <em>might</em> have a Telk-karith vernier caliper that I <em>might</em> be persuaded to part with.¡±

    Miss Smith lit up like a Christmas tree.

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Really. Now install this fucking channel for me.¡±

    ***

    Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa and She were leaning against the hull of the Tiger drinking a warm cup of vored mineral oil or coffee depending on the species and watching a small pair of boots and some wide Kalesh flippers underneath one of the new Juon Seraphim engines.

    ¡°They seem to be getting along well,¡± She said with a chuckle as a steady stream of invective echoed around in the empty hull.

    ¡°Actually they do,¡± Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said with augh. She doesn¡¯t use half of those words around someone she doesn¡¯t like.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t we just use fucking Juon power conduits?¡± Miss Smith asked in an annoyed voice.

    ¡°Because we don¡¯t have fucking Juon power conduits,¡± Jaklin said in an exasperated tone.

    ¡°Sure we do. ss seven. Five hundred credits a meter.¡±

    ¡°Are you being an engineer or a salesman right now?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m being a not wanting to spend the whole goddamn day trying to get a Terran to fuck a Juon right now.¡±

    ¡°Arrrgh¡­ Fine. Get the fucking conduit.¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± Miss Smith said cheerfully and wiggled out from under the engine.¡±

    ¡°Damn, Smith,¡± She said as she sipped her coffee. ¡°You certainly saw himing didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Hey, the Juon conduit will work a lot better than trying to reuse that Terran shit,¡± Miss Smith said with a grin. ¡°Hell, we will even buy the Terran garbage we pull in case someone besides you are stupid enough to be flying around in a Terran spaceturd.¡±

    ¡°Language, kid,¡± She said with augh, ¡°And what exactly is wrong with Terran spacecraft?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± she began.

    ¡°Don¡¯t start. Just go get the conduit kid.¡± Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said with a fake growl. He turned to She as Miss Smith ran off. ¡°She has some rather firm opinions concerning Juon and Terran spacecraft.¡±

    ¡°I can tell,¡± She said with augh. ¡°Hey, Chief! Need help from a kid now?¡±

    ¡°Fuck you.¡± The chief said as he crawled out and poured himself some Kalesh tea. ¡°That kid has skills¡­ and tiny little hands. With her help we will get done a few days sooner.¡±

    ¡°Good to hear.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Hey, Jaklin,¡± Miss Smith said as she was measuring some crystals, ¡°You guys are equal to the Terrans, right?¡±

    ¡°We are Terrans, kid but to answer your real question, yes. We and the Republic humans are equal. Any Republic citizen is equal¡­ nominally,¡± the chief responded.

    ¡°They why do you guys get all the shit jobs?¡±

    ¡°Wha? What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I mean, you guys are all waiters, secretaries, taxi drivers¡­ shit like that.¡±

    ¡°Hey, first of all those aren''t shit jobs. We just like service upations. It¡¯s just something about us I guess,¡± the chief said as he tightened some bolts. ¡°These fucking Juon fasteners¡­ It¡¯s not like we have to fill those jobs we just like them. Anyone who thinks we are pushovers because of it will get a nasty surprise. More than one visitor to the Republic has had a drink poured over their head or smacked with a tray if they get too pushy or an entire empire gets punched in the gut if they think they can jerk us around.¡±

    ¡°Weird.¡±

    ¡°You Terrans, I mean humans, have no room to talk about weird.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not <em>Terran</em>. I¡¯m an<em> Imperial</em>,¡± Miss Smith said proudly.

    ¡°You¡¯re a weeb ?!?!?¡±

    ¡°Oops. I almost just threw your micrometer across the hangar¡­¡±

    ¡°Hey! I didn¡¯t mean it like that!¡± Chief Jaklin said hastily. ¡°I was just surprised that¡¯s all. I had no idea Smith was a wee-¡­ an Imperial.¡±

    ¡°Yep. We sided with the Empire when everything went down. Grandpa was an interpreter and intelligence analyst.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck?¡±

    ¡°He stopped speaking to us when I was just a baby but dad said that gramps was afraid that Sol would plunge right back into hell if the Terrans won.¡±

    ¡°Makes sense, I guess¡­¡± Chief Jaklin said shaking his eyestalks. ¡°Takes all kinds I suppose...¡±

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al walked in with a tray of food and drinks.

    ¡°You two missed lunch. I thought you would like some food,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said as heid the tray on a crate. ¡°Not to overhear but there are humans that are Imperial citizens.¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± the chief replied.

    ¡°But you seem not to hate them?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s holding one of my micrometers hostage so I¡¯m just being nice,¡± the chiefughed. ¡°No. Seriously, we don¡¯t hate them. We just think they are¡­¡±

    ¡°Careful...¡± Miss Smith said with augh.

    ¡°Different. Let¡¯s just go with different and leave it at that.¡±

    ¡°But the Terrans don¡¯t hate them even if they betrayed them?¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said with confusion.

    ¡°They didn''t ''betray'' us. They sided with the enemy from the start. They were straight up enemies, not slimy porkies. There is a real difference there. Well, some were enemies. A bunch more jumped ship and immigrated to the Empire after the shooting stopped. A bunch of us kalesh either sided with the Empire or split after the war was over too. I won¡¯t say that any of them, human or kalesh, are particrly loved but they are certainly not hated¡­ by most people,¡± the chief exined. ¡°Hell, we fought alongside wee¡­ Imperial human ships and ground units during the great war. Their ships and their infantry kicked some serious ass. I have nothing against them.¡±

    ¡°So we hate porkies, and don¡¯t hate Imperials?¡±

    ¡°Right.¡±

    ¡°This is getting confusing...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you might want to start taking notes,¡± the chief said with augh.

    ***

    After a few days the Paper Tiger was starting to look like a ship again and the crew were making preparations to depart.

    ¡°Ok, Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa,¡± She said as she handed him a tablet. ¡°I¡¯m leaving the ss twelve and what¡¯s left of the cargo with you, standardmission.¡±

    ¡°Pleasure doing business with you as always,¡± Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa said with a smile. ¡°Pass along my thanks to Chief Jaklin. Miss Smith is, what is your phrase... over the moon?... with his gift. It has rarely left her hands.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to pass it along but I think the squeals, tears, and hugs were a dead giveaway.¡±

    ***

    As the Z¡¯uush were gathering their belongings and loading them into the Paper Tiger the crew were approached by two unknown Z¡¯uush. She looked over at them curiously as she utched her sidearm¡¯s holster. One of the Z¡¯uush raised hisrge maniptor and called out.

    ¡°Hey! Is Eight-eyes over there?¡±

    ¡°Eight-eyes?¡± She responded as T¡¯sunk¡¯al stepped forward and waved back.

    ¡°Cul¡¯kalk¡¯rn! Great to see you, old friend,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al called out in return. He turned to She. ¡°It¡¯s ok, they are friends.¡±

    ¡°Friends or not, how the fuck did they know we were here?¡± She hissed at T¡¯sunk¡¯al angrily.

    ¡°Please. Our passengers have been sending messages left and right. I saw no issue with sending one of my own,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al replied dismissively.

    ¡°We are going to have a little chat about thister,¡± She hissed and then waved happily at the approaching Z¡¯uush. ¡°Hi there!¡± she eximed brightly. ¡°I guess you know this criminal?¡± she asked as she hit T¡¯sunk¡¯al¡¯s back te¡­ hard.

    ¡°She, this is Cul¡¯kalk¡¯rn and Zul¡¯ralsh¡¯ka. They are former associates of mine and are¡­ like minded individuals if you get my meaning.¡±

    ¡°Oh, really?¡± She asked her cheerful tone bing a bit more genuine, ¡°Not nning on participating in the hiring frenzy on Sol?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly...¡± Cul¡¯kalk¡¯rn said rubbing his mandibles in augh. ¡°Not exactly.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s one of the reasons I sent them here to meet with us,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said, ¡°They need to know about ces like this if they are going to ¡®go into business¡¯ if you get my meaning.¡±

    She gave the pair an appraising nce and liked what she saw. ¡°Ok. Nice to meet you. Now what?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Cul¡¯kalk¡¯rn said with an eye flick, ¡°we are primarily interested in your drug contacts. It would be a real shame if the drug epidemic facing the¡­ porkies?¡­ was to dry up and we are considering expanding our horizons a bit. There are doubtless countless other substances that would harm countless other species and put a few creds on our crystals in the bargain. We would also be interested in getting in direct contact with arms dealers and manufacturers since it seems that our arrangement is running its course.¡±

    ¡°So you want me to help you be directpetition?¡±

    ¡°Yes. That is exactly what we want,¡± Cul¡¯kalk¡¯rn said with an eye movement that She knew was a grin.

    ¡°Cool. Not a problem. Since you had the nerve to ask I assume my bbermouth here,¡± She said as she gave T¡¯sunk¡¯al another heavy swat, ¡°has filled you in on what our real objectives are.¡±

    ¡°He has and it is exactly what more than a few of us are discussing. Needless to say that there are those of us that aren¡¯t exactly happy with the Federation either and have absolutely no intention of returning to our previous upations. Making a lot of credits while causing trouble sounds absolutely delightful.¡±

    ¡°We may be able to do business and I have no problems making a few introductions,¡± she said with a chuckle. ¡° but there is one thing you need to remember,¡± she said in a less friendly tone, ¡°I have no problem helping you guys out but if you ever fuck me,¡± she paused while looking them in the eyes, ¡°You will wish you were dead.¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Cul¡¯kalk¡¯rn said in an even but menacing tone. She grinned.

    ¡°That¡¯s what I like to see! I think we will get along just fine,¡± she said.

    Jessie came trotting out of the Tiger tablet in hand and turned it over to She who started paging through the contents.

    ¡°Oh C¡­ you have been a naughty naughty boy haven¡¯t you?¡± she said with undisguised glee, ¡°You, too, Z¡­ Very naughty indeed¡­ Ok, you have your credentials in order. You¡¯re legit.¡± She handed the tablet back to Jessie. ¡°One of the first things you need to learn is how to be just a bit more tidy. They got your gic info¡­ Hey Jessie! Get a box of Sani-Clear would you?¡±

    Jessie scampers into and out of the Tiger with a box.

    ¡°This,¡± She said as she pulled out an unassuming spray can, ¡°Is Sani-Clear. Its real purpose is medical or hazmat cleaning and sanitation. What we, and anyone in the game with a half a brain, uses it for is to clean and sanitize <em>other</em> surfaces. It breaks down organic material. Not only does it absolutely kill those annoying microbes it also denatures whatever identifying gic codes your species uses. Don¡¯t buy it at a store. They will want ID but it is all over the ck market. Buy it. Use it. Oh and another thing¡­ Actually you might want to sit down and take some notes because I¡¯m about toy some knowledge on your asses...¡±

    ***

    After a long and very enlightening lecture from one of the masters of the trade the Z¡¯uush sincerely expressed their thanks and were starting to walk away when She called out to them.

    ¡°Hey, dudes,¡± she started, ¡°Those friends of yours, any of them hired guns or mercenary teams or anything like that?¡±

    ¡°A few of them match that description,¡± Cul¡¯kalk¡¯rn replied cautiously, ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°We are considering a job that might require a few more guns,¡± She said with a smile. ¡°We would be very interested in talking to any guys you know who would be up for some fun, preferably ones that old eight-eyes over there could vouch for. It should go pretty smooth but if the shooting starts there is going to be a lot of it.¡±

    ¡°What sort of job?¡±

    ¡°Piracy,¡± She said with a grin.

 Chapter Morgana Farstan Returns

    Chapter Morgana Farstan Returns

    ¡°Rise and shine, sweetie,¡± Morgana Farstan said as she shook a naked scraggly human by the hair, ¡°You back with us? It''s not nice falling asleep like that when we were having such a pleasant conversation. It hurts my feelings.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t do this to me! I have rights!¡±

    ¡°Do you see a badge? Does this look like a police station?¡± Morgana asked in a pleasant voice. ¡°Now, let¡¯s take it from the top. She Donovan supplies your drugs, right?¡±

    ¡°Fuck you,¡± the captive said as he spat at her.

    Morgana just smiled.

    ¡°You must really like pain,¡± She said as she reached for a small controller connected to a number of wires attached to her victim.

    ¡°No! Nonononono¡­ <em>AAAAAAHHHHH!¡±</em>

    ¡°In case you are wondering, I only have it turned up halfway,¡± she said as she showed the dial to her victim. ¡°While this little toy is designed to inflict pain without harm, if it is turned up all the way on a human it causes irreversible nerve damage. Oh look,¡± she said with a pleasant smile, ¡°we have one wire left. Now where should we put it?¡± She said as she looked at her prey with a smile. ¡°Oh I know, right¡­ there...¡±

    She adhered the wire onto the head of his penis.

    ¡°I suggest you start talking,¡± she said as she yed with the dial, ¡°before mister happy bes mister sad¡­ forever.¡±

    ¡°They will kill me!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll do worse,¡± Morgana said with that same soulless smile. ¡°I¡¯m a professional, trust me. You will break. The only question is how much of you will be left when you do.¡± Before he could reply she pressed the button.

    <em>¡°AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!¡±</em> he screamed.

    She pressed it again¡­ and again¡­

    ***

    Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha cocked his head as the screams echoed down the hallway.

    ¡°That woman is not right,¡± He said.

    Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal looked up from working on a sonic jackhammer.

    ¡°Well, she is paying us tomit mass murder. Of course she is not right,¡± she said.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he cut open another powercell. ¡°She is not right but her credits are good. What¡¯s the problem?¡±

    ¡°Something just does not add up. Where does she get those credits and why is she so interested in this gang?¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha asked.

    ¡°She¡¯s probably in a rival gang. They do shit like this all the time, right?¡± Ray¡¯shel¡¯zun asked as he cleaned his fully automatic shotgun.

    ¡°Does she look like she is in a gang? It seems to me she is more used to wearing a suit than wearing that outfit she is wearing now. It¡¯s almost like it¡¯s a disguise or something,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha replied. ¡°If she is in a gang it is a suit and tie sort of gang, not this street crap and since when do gangs pay people like us to do their work? Don¡¯t they handle their own business?¡±

    ¡°How the hell should I know? The only gangs I know about are the ones on video, same as you.¡± Ray¡¯shel¡¯zun shrugged.

    ¡°Maybe this gang pissed off <em>the wrong people</em>,¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said as she closed the top of the jackhammer. ¡°This shell shaker is ready to rock,¡± she said with satisfaction.

    ¡°They definitely pissed someone off,¡± Ray¡¯shel¡¯zun said with a shrug. ¡°Only thing that worries me is that we are low on ammo. Don¡¯t think we can just pop out and buy a few hundred rounds at the corner store.¡±

    ¡°Already on it,¡± said a voice from behind aputer monitor, ¡°We will have a shipmenting in within a week but it is starting to get pricey. We need to find another source. Another thing. I¡¯m looking at the board and it says we should start using something called ¡®Sani-Clear¡¯ so we don¡¯t leave our gics all over the ce.¡±

    ¡°What do you think all that mist was when we left? I didn¡¯t make that aerosol grenade for my health, you know,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he started to solder wires onto the powercell. ¡°It was proteolytic enzymes and some other shit so we didn¡¯t leave anything. That shell wax was also for the same reason, you know, the stuff I insisted on you wearing? Do you guys listen to a single word I say?¡±

    ¡°Z¡¯uush, we listen but we don¡¯t understand half of it. You said wax ourselves so we did,¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said and then she added in a flirtatious voice, ¡°I just thought you were being kinky.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m kinky. Not getting caught really turns me on.¡±

    ¡°So, what¡¯s in that wax anyway?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked. ¡°My shell has never been shinier. It really brings out the colors.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s abination of enzymes and chemicals that denatures the upper¡­ aaaand I just lost you.¡±

    ¡°Yup,¡± sheughed, ¡°Makes shiny. No catchy. Got it.¡±

    They all paused as a fresh set of screams drowned out their conversation.

    ***

    ¡°Look,dy, I¡¯m telling you the truth,¡± the gang member sobbed. ¡°Yeah, we get the stuff from She but only the boss talks to her. I don¡¯t know nothing. The boss says we gotta pick up the shit and we pick up the shit. They ain¡¯t even there. It¡¯s just sitting under a tarp or something.¡±

    ¡°Well, you aren¡¯t being useful at all. Pity. At least I can have some fun with you before I kill you,¡± Morgana said as she pulled out a knife and set it on the table beside her.

    ¡°Wait!¡­ Wait¡­ <em>Please...</em>¡±

    ¡°Maybe you have something else I can use? Hmm?¡± Morgana asked with nk soulless eyes.

    ***

    The Z¡¯uush all fell silent as Morgana entered the room.

    ¡°Hello, my friends,¡± she said with a smile. ¡°I have another target for you guys to handle.¡± She then ced a data crystal on a table. ¡°Here¡¯s the info and your pay. Oh, could you do me a solid and take out the trash?¡± She pointed towards the room where her captive was kept. ¡°And to be clear I mean take him somewhere and dump him, alive.¡±

    ¡°Alive?¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha asked, ¡°You sure about that?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely. I need the little bird to fly back home to his nest.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like that. Best we off him.¡±

    ¡°The customer is always right, my friend.¡±

    ¡°Fine, alive.¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha grumbled as she left.

    ***

    Inspector Vance was looking at hisputer monitor.

    ¡°Jesus, Fre. Have you looked at the Z¡¯uush?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Three-hundred and sixty degree vision, chitin ting thick enough to stop normal stunners, internal organ systems that can take a couple of shots, and the worst part is what happens to them when they finally decide to not be nice. Here, look,¡± Inspector Vance said as he turned his monitor so she could see it.

    ¡°Shit. So that¡¯s what we might be dealing with?¡±

    ¡°High pain tolerance, high reaction speeds, enhanced metabolism, dampened emotions¡­ fucking killing machines. Terrans are still worse, a lot worse, but these guys...¡±

    ¡°Why are we just finding out about them now? Sounds like they would be the perfect warriors.¡±

    ¡°They also get very hard to control. Piss one off and it would kill their own officers. Hell, they might do it anyway just for fun. They don¡¯t let even their own military turn. It¡¯s too dangerous. I guess they have some way of preventing it.¡±

    ¡°How the hell did the insurgents get anything done, then?¡± Fre asked.

    ¡°Hell if I know. Maybe if we manage to catch these monsters we can ask them. Oh I forget to ask, did theb geeks find anything?¡±

    ¡°Nothing we didn¡¯t already know,¡± Detective Fre replied. ¡°It was a jackhammer like you said and those were sma fragmentation grenades. They didn¡¯t find one molecule of usable information. We still don¡¯t know for sure if they are in fact Z¡¯uush. It¡¯s like they Sani-Clear¡¯ed the whole fucking room. Even the corpses were cleaned¡­ So that¡¯s what was tearing up my antennae. That shit was nasty.¡±

    ¡°What fresh hell is this?¡±

    ¡°Never heard that one. Is it a humanism again?¡± Fre asked.

    ¡°Yeah, and a very apt one. Hey, you should know. Was it Sani-Clear?¡±

    ¡°No, Sani-Clear I can stand. That shit was rough. It was like Sani-Clear on pixie-dust.¡±

    ¡°Great, they make their own grenades and mix their own cleaner. Just great.¡±

    A police officer approached the inspector¡¯s desk.

    ¡°Inspector,¡± an officer said grimly. ¡°I think your suspects just struck again.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Inspector Vance said and then turned to Detective Fre. ¡°You don¡¯t have toe...¡±

    ¡°No, no¡­ I will grab some spray on the way there. I want to see this one through.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Jezus...¡± Inspector Vance said as he entered the crime scene. ¡°This is worse thanst time,¡± he said as he surveyed the carnage. He turned to Detective Fre.

    ¡°Same cleaner?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, same cleaner.¡± she said as she sprayed her antennae again. ¡°It smells a little different but it has the same burn.¡±

    ¡°You going to be ok?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s not that bad. Smells like it¡¯s had more time to settle.¡±

    ¡°You are right. It¡¯s been longer.¡± Inspector Vance said as he looked at his scanner.

    ¡°Did theye in through the roof?¡± Fre asked as she looked up arge hole.

    ¡°Yes,¡± he pointed at the corpses near the door. ¡°The victims had guards posted inside and out so they just came in from above this time. I¡¯m detecting traces of Terran high explosivepounds,¡± he said and then paused. ¡°Oh I have a bad feeling about this.¡±

    He turned to the crime sceneb techs and pointed up.

    ¡°Give me an isotope analysis on the explosive residue.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Detective Fre asked with concern.

    ¡°I think they manufactured the explosives here, in the capital.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Detective Fre asked in rm.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a modernmercial Terran explosive. This stuff is an olderpound, much easier to make. Oh Christ...¡± Inspector Vance trailed off in mid-sentence as he looked at one of the more intact corpses.

    ¡°I¡¯m getting tired of saying this but, what?¡±

    ¡°Look at this poor son of a bitch,¡± Inspector Vance said as he opened the guy¡¯s mouth and scanned inside. ¡°Yeah, that cleaner they usedst time? They led with it this time around. Imagine getting lungfuls of that stuff,¡± the inspector said grimly, ¡°It was probably eating their lungs from the inside out before our killers even hit the floor. It exins the mess. They had more time to use the jackhammers.¡±

    ¡°Creator¡¯s mercy!¡± Detective Fre said covering her mouth. <em>¡°Monsters</em>¡­ Even these scum didn¡¯t deserve this. It must have been horrible.¡± She looked at the inspector with curiosity.

    ¡°How did you know they led with the cleaner?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve seen poison gas before,¡± the inspector said grimly.

    ***

    ¡°That bitch was crazy!¡± the scraggly gang member shouted from his hospital bed.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Inspector Vance said calmly, ¡°So what exactly happened?¡±

    ¡°Did they test my nerves? Is my junk ok?¡±

    ¡°Yes, yes, and again yes,¡± the inspector said with annoyance. ¡°They have checked your nervous system twice and nothing is wrong.¡±

    ¡°I feel weird, my junk feels weird.¡±

    ¡°Look, you got worked over by a neural inductor,¡± the inspector said. ¡°You are going to feel weird but I promise you that you are perfectly fine.¡±

    ¡°She said my junk...¡±

    ¡°Interrogators say all sorts of things. She stopped before she did any real damage.¡±

    ¡°So my junk?¡±

    ¡°Ok, I¡¯m done. We¡¯re leaving. Good luck out there.¡±

    ¡°Wait! You can¡¯t turn me loose! I¡¯m a dead man!¡±

    ¡°Then you need to give us something we can use or we are out of here.¡± Detective Fre said. ¡°You feel ready to talk about something besides your ¡®junk¡¯?¡±

    The guy nodded.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Detective Fre said, ¡°Let¡¯s start with your name. What is your name?¡±

    ¡°G¡­ Gerald.¡±

    ¡°Ok, Gerald, tell us exactly what happened.¡±

    ¡°I was like just walking along minding my business and the next thing I know I¡¯m stripped naked and tied to a chair with these wires all over the ce.¡±

    ¡°Did you see who grabbed you?¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s just like I said, one second I was walking along and the next I was in the chair.¡±

    ¡°Has his blood been tested for any memory blockers?¡± the inspector asked a nearby nurse.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so. That isn¡¯t part of the standard workup,¡± he replied.

    ¡°Check. Sounds like he got a dose of something.¡±

    ¡°And then what happened?¡± Detective Fre asked Gerald.

    ¡°And then that bitch zapped me for a bit and started asking about She Donovan and how she knew my gang got their drugs from her.¡±

    ¡°And do they?¡±

    ¡°I want awyer.¡±

    ¡°Ok, you are free to go. We have nothing to charge you with so there is no need...¡±

    ¡°Yes! Yes! We get our drugs from her. Can I get locked up now?¡±

    ¡°Sounds like we are getting there,¡± Detective Fre said pleasantly, ¡°And once you are in there we can ce you in protective custody.¡±

    ¡°Protective custody¡­ yeah, I like that,¡± Gerald replied.

    ¡°So she wired you up and ¡®convinced¡¯ you to talk?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°And what did you tell her?¡±

    ¡°I told her that we get our stuff from She but only the boss knows how to talk to her or when to get the stuff.¡±

    ¡°And by stuff you mean drugs.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gerald said as he dropped his head. ¡°Yeah, drugs, lots of them.¡±

    ¡°Then what?¡±

    ¡°She got mad. Well not mad, just really scary and then she said that she was going to kill me after burning up all of my nerves, even my junk,¡± Gerald said with fear in his eyes.

    ¡°She certainly found his weak point,¡± Detective Fre said to Vance.

    ¡°He¡¯s human, it¡¯s a pretty safe bet,¡± the inspector smirked.

    ¡°So what happened then?¡±

    ¡°She said that unless I gave her something I was going to fry and then she started asking me about our hangouts and where we handled the stuff¡­ the drugs¡­¡±

    The inspector and the detective exchanged nces.

    ¡°Locations?¡± Detective Fre asked.

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Like the Greenblock warehouse?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to need protection. I ratted on the Red-Teeth and I¡¯m as good as dead. I¡¯ll give you anything. Yeah, I told her about the Greenblock warehouse. I don¡¯t care about jail. I just want protection,¡± he said actually shaking.

    Detective Fre felt a little bad for him. A violent gang on one side and these monsters on the other. She had never seen a better definition of the word ¡°fucked¡± before.

    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t normally do this during an interrogation but you don¡¯t have to say anything else until you get awyer about any crimes but I need to know. Did you see anything other than a human, something that looked like this?¡± she asked as she showed him a picture of a Z¡¯uush.

    ¡°No, no. I didn¡¯t see nothing. I got zapped from behind and the next thing I knew I was behind a dumpster.¡±

    ¡°Do you remember anything, no matter how insignificant it may seem?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ Wait¡­ I heard¡­ something weird¡­ It wasn¡¯t footsteps it was kind of a scratching¡­ scuttling...¡±

    ¡°When he gets safely behind bars, find some sounds of Z¡¯uush footsteps or something and see if he recognizes it,¡± the inspector said.

    ¡°You got it, boss.¡± Detective Fre replied.

    ***

    ¡°So who do you think the woman was that he was talking about?¡± Detective Fre asked after they returned to the station. ¡°We¡¯ve shown him just about every damn picture we have and he neither consciously or unconsciously recognized any of them.¡±

    ¡°A bounty hunter? She was looking for this She Donovan it seems,¡± the inspector replied.

    ¡°One hell of a way to look for her. What is the death toll now?¡±

    ¡°Fifty-three,¡± the inspector replied.

    ¡°Creator¡¯s mercy! No bounty hunter would do something like that. Fifty-three counts of premeditated murder? There would be a bigger bounty on them than their target! Something is fucked here,¡± Detective Fre said.

    ¡°Especially since there isn¡¯t a bounty on She Donovan,¡± the inspector replied

    ¡°There has to be. Isn¡¯t she in the top one-hundred? I could have sworn I heard that name before.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve heard it too,¡± the inspector said as he started typing. ¡°Now this is fucked. She had a Federation wide APB, armed and dangerous, military force rmended, level one and a seven digit bounty but both have been rescinded.¡±

    ¡°Rescinded? By who?¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t say. It¡¯s just¡­ gone,¡± the inspector¡¯s brow furrowed and he started typing again, ¡°Oh shit.¡±

    ¡°I am now truly hating saying this but, what?¡±

    ¡°Look at the date it all went away. Pull up the media feeds for the couple of days prior.¡±

    ¡°Shit. You think it¡¯s connected?¡±

    ¡°Hell of a coincidence,¡± the inspector said, ¡°A massive data leak, most of it ssified, and then suddenly all warrants and bounties were withdrawn? My guess is that they don¡¯t know what else she has or they do know and they don¡¯t want her getting arrested, getting processed, going to trial, and having the chance to say or release anything else.¡±

    The inspector looked up.

    ¡°We have been removed from the equation," he said grimly, "Arrest warrants have been turned into kill orders. They don¡¯t want her arrested anymore. They want her dead and any bounty hunters that have ess those sorts of bounties are certainly not registered in our databases.¡±

    ¡°Even so, Federation Intelligence wouldn¡¯t do something like this.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s hope not for all of our sakes,¡± the inspector replied. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter one way or the other. We are going to catch these bastards and then we will find out exactly what is going on. This is our city and we will protect it regardless of who or what is behind this.¡±

 Chapter The Next Big Job

    Chapter The Next Big Job

    ¡°Ah, this is the life,¡± She said as she sipped coffee and grabbed a bei, ¡°It¡¯s nice to actually set foot on Terra again.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jacob said as he grabbed one, ¡°but why did you have to drag us to this humid bug infested hell?¡±

    ¡°Watch your mouth,¡± She said with augh, ¡°You are talking about my homnd here.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck is in this coffee?¡± Jessie said with a sour face. ¡°It tastes like ass.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s chicory and you just don¡¯t know what¡¯s good.¡±

    ¡°I like it,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said as he took a sip while he nibbled some chocte. ¡°This chocte is amazing! Why didn¡¯t you bring me this stuff?¡±

    ¡°Because, my dear Z¡¯uushling, chocte isn¡¯t illegal. If it were on the ck market I could hook you up easy but I either had to grab whatever shit wasying around a spaceport or ask for a favor from a smuggler. If it had been drugs, guns, or nukes I could have gotten you the good stuff,¡± She said.

    ¡°That¡¯s incredibly funny,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al chortled as he picked up another truffle. ¡°Are you sure our passengers are going to be ok?¡±

    ¡°Oh they¡¯re good,¡± Eno said with a reassuring smile. ¡°We dropped them off with the Red Cross and they will be transported to one of the refugee processing centers. I hear they are nice.¡±

    ¡°And,¡± She said with a grin, ¡°we ¡®ensured¡¯ that they will get priority as far as processing goes.¡±

    She raised her mug.

    ¡°To corruption, one of our best friends.¡±

    ¡°Ah yes, good old corruption,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said with a nasty click, ¡°It¡¯s nice to be on the right side of that for once.¡±

    ¡°Get used to it,¡± She responded. ¡°We like to ¡®cultivate friendships¡¯ wherever we go. It makes things go much more smoothly. It¡¯s amazing what a few credits in the right ces can do for you. Speaking of...¡± She said with a grin, ¡°I think it¡¯s about time we harvest a couple of those ''friendships''.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Greg asked. ¡°What do you have in mind?¡±

    ¡°Our next job.¡±

    ¡°What exactly do you propose?¡± Eno asked suspiciously. ¡°I have learned to mistrust that particr smile.¡±

    ¡°Ladies, gentlemen, and Z''uushlings...I think it is time for us to hit the <em>White Star</em>.¡±

    ¡°Are you fucking serious?¡± Jacob asked in rm. ¡°Didn¡¯t we decide that was too much to tackle?¡±

    ¡°We have already cased the thing and it wasn¡¯t that we decided that it was too difficult,¡± She said around mouthfuls of bei, ¡°We decided that it would draw too much heat on us. And now since we really can¡¯t get much more wanted than we already are...¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the <em>White Star</em>?¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al asked as he poured himself more coffee.

    ¡°It¡¯s one of the biggest fanciest luxury star liners in the Federation,¡± Eno said, ¡°It is worth¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ billions, maybe even trillions.¡±

    ¡°With everything in it I bet it¡¯s worth more than a trillion easy,¡± She said, her eyes glittering. ¡°It¡¯s a flying piggy-bank just waiting to get hammered.¡±

    ¡°Flying piggy-bank?¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al asked in confusion.

    ¡°It¡¯s a figure of speech,¡± Jessie said in her normal rapidly paced voice, ¡°It means that there is a whole lot of money in there.¡±

    ¡°See,¡± She said, ¡°The <em>White Star</em> isn¡¯t just a fancy high-dor flying resort for the rich. It also has the distinction of never entering inhabited systems. To get to it you have to be flown there by one of itsunches and its exact location is never disclosed. It¡¯s its big gimmick. Absolute privacy without any hassles.¡±

    She paused while she stuffed another bei in her mouth.

    ¡°It¡¯s a favorite with celebrities, the uber-rich, politicians, andst but not least wealthy fugitives.¡± She, while happily bouncing up and down, continued. ¡°That¡¯s not all. People like to hide money there too. It has its own bankplete with a whole bunch of lovely encrypted numbered bank ounts and good old fashioned safety deposit boxes. And for dessert, there is even a lovely casino that will be a nice soft target even if we can¡¯t crack that bank open. All we have to do there is put a gun to somebody¡¯s head. Same goes for a slew of high-end shops and shit like that.¡±

    She swirled thest of her coffee in her mug.

    ¡°The thing is absolutely stuffed full of bounties, credits, and highly ransomable individuals.¡±

    ¡°And incredibly effective automated defenses, and a shitload of heavily armed guards, and literally thousands of automatic st-proof doors, and probably tons of shit we don¡¯t even know about,¡± Jacob said as he shook his head. ¡°Taking it is impossible.¡±

    ¡°Nothing is impossible, sweetie. Where is that army spirit?¡± She asked with a smile.

    ¡°That army spirit is exactly where it needs to be. Keeping our asses alive and out of the joint.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of,¡± She said to Jessie, ¡°exactly how hot are we?¡±

    ¡°Hang on,¡± Jessie says as she pulls out her tablet, ¡°Just have to get to a hyperspace terminal¡­ Annnnd ess Federation police¡­ Gonna be a minute...¡± She says as she sets her tablet down on the table and grabs more beigniets.

    The gang debated back and forth about the sanity of going after the<em> White Star</em> as the minutes passed. About an hourter Jessie¡¯s tablet beeped.

    ¡°Ah! Here we go!¡± Jessie said as she read the results, ¡°Oh we are pretty goddamn hot. We are so hot that all arrest warrants and bounties have been pulled.¡±

    ¡°Oh, shit. We really did it this time,¡± Eno says as he gged down a waitress. ¡°Excuse me, ma¡¯am, could I get some coffee without the chicory?¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± the Kalesha said brightly and scooched off.

    ¡°Why did they pull our arrest warrants?¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al asked. ¡°One would think they would add more.¡±

    ¡°Oh they would if they wanted us arrested,¡± She said with a chuckle, ¡°They don¡¯t want us arrested anymore. They want us <em>dead</em>. The police are off the case and Fed Intel is on it. This is gonna be fun!¡±

    ¡°We have a difference of opinion as to what constitutes fun,¡± Jacob said with a wince.

    ¡°I can certainly see the appeal,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said calmly as he sipped his coffee. ¡°Less chance of minor hassles and when we do run into ¡®an issue¡¯,¡± he said making air quotes with his maniptors, ¡°We won¡¯t have the entire system searching for us like we would if we killed a cop. Besides, I would feel really bad about killing an honest police officer just trying to do his job but wasting a fucking Fed? I think I could live with that.¡±

    ¡°See!¡± She eximed happily, ¡°Ol¡¯ Eight-Eyes over here gets it!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m still voting against it,¡± Jacob said with more than enough quiet nods from the others to kill the n.

    ¡°There is one more reason why I want to do this and do it now. Jessie, tell ¡®em.¡±

    ¡°Oh right,¡± Jessie babbled with a grin, ¡°I have it on good authority that none other than <em>Councilor Morgan</em>, you know, the asshole who really pushed the whole fucking war... That asshole? He is about to get his pee-pee stomped ''cause of the stuff that we leaked. He is hiding from a Federation inquest at this very moment. Anyone want to guess where?¡±

    Everyone looked at each other for a few moments.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Jacob said with sigh, ¡°If and I mean if we do this we have to do it right. We need a n and it needs to be a fucking good one.¡±

    ¡°Well, let¡¯s get started then,¡± She said with a wolfish grin.

    ***

    Cyrus Red was standing outside of his limousine with six of his henchmen in a deserted Capital City construction site when Morgana Farstan appeared out of the shadows.

    ¡°I have to hand it to you,¡± Cyrus said, ¡°You gotta a lot of balls showing up here.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Morgana said with a pleasant smile, ¡°We have some things to discuss.¡±

    ¡°You shoot up my guys and mess with my business? You are goddamn right we have something to discuss, like why I don¡¯t show you why we are called the Red-Teeth.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, you used to eat people during the Sol Wars¡­ boring,¡± Morgana replied, ¡°You have a lot of balls just showing up with just six people.¡±

    At that moment half a dozen vans drove into the lot at high speed.

    ¡°Now that is a bit more interesting,¡± Morgana said with a soulless smile.

    ***

    ¡°That bitch is fucking crazy,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha quietly buzzed.

    ¡°No argument here. Shit goes south she¡¯s dead before we can even pull a trigger,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he adjusted the scope on his sniper rifle.

    ¡°What do we do if that happens?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what we do,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha whispered, ¡°We put a fifty caliber slug in her head for good measure and split.¡± He turned to Ray¡¯shel¡¯zun. ¡°That mic that Brainiac made? Is it picking everything up?¡±

    ¡°Works like a charm.¡± Ray¡¯shel¡¯zun replied.

    ¡°You sure they won¡¯t detect it?¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha quietly asked.

    ¡°Give me some credit,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k scoffed. ¡°I seriously doubt they have the right stuff on hand to properly analyze that beam¡¯s wavelength and modtion. It should just look like background noise from all themunicators in the city. They are much more likely to pick up your bitching so please for the love of the creators shut the fuck up.¡±

    ***

    ¡°So, bitch, what do you want?¡± Cyrus said as a few dozen of his men surround Morgana.

    ¡°Not much,¡± She replied, ¡°I want She Donovan. I understand you can get her for me.¡±

    ¡°What? You fuck with me just to get to that bitch?¡± Cyrus spat, ¡°You¡¯re fucking crazy.¡±

    ¡°That observation has been made more than once,¡± Morganaughed, ¡°Now you are going to lure her in or I am going to take apart your entire organization piece by fucking piece.¡±

    ¡°Ok, stun this bitch. We are going to have a bar-b-¡±

    Morgana flicked her wrist and as she did the head of the guy right next to Cyrus exploded into a fine mist.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± Cyrus yelled as he dove for cover. ¡°Hold your fire!¡±

    ¡°Have you and your little friends been vinated against type six hyper-elerated staph aureus?¡± she asked as she pulled out an aerosol grenade with arge bio-hazard symbol on it. ¡°I have, just in preparation for this little meet and greet. I understand this stuff is kind of nasty.¡±

    Everybody froze as the pin hit the ground with a little ¡°plink¡±.

    ¡°Ok¡­ ok¡­ just calm down,¡± Cyrus said as he got back to his feet.

    ¡°Feel like actually having a reasonable discussion now?¡± Morgana asked.

    ¡°Look,dy,¡± Cyrus said dusting off his suit, ¡°I can¡¯t just whistle and have She show up like a dog. I have to set up a meet and that takes time.¡±

    ¡°Ok, you have a week. I¡¯ve been ying nice up until now,¡± Morgana said, ¡°Next week... Next week things get really fucked up.¡±

    She picked up the grenade pin and then turned and walked away, disappearing into the shadows. Cyrus snarled and turned to his men.

    ¡°Find out who that cunt is and find out who is working for her,¡± he said breathing heavily. ¡°And get me in touch with She. I want to talk to that bitch.¡±

 Chapter Pirates Meet

    Chapter Pirates Meet

    Jessie is leaning against the side of a rental car on an abandoned hill when a sleek grav-car flies overhead and settles on the gravel next to her. The gull-wing doors open and a thin reptilian in a loud floral pattern shirt climbs out.

    ¡°Avast! Ye matey!¡± Jessie calls out.

    ¡°Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of dumb!¡± the Flink replies. Jessie just facepalms.

    ¡°No. no. no. no. It¡¯s¡­ You know what? I like your version better.¡± sheughs. The lizard walks over it¡¯s four independently focusing eyes darting in all directions.

    ¡°So how have you been, you dumb chameleon?¡±

    ¡°Good. Business is booming.¡±

    ¡°So how are you exining that?¡± Jessie asks pointing at the grav-car. ¡°You are running out of distant rtives giving you inheritances. Did you ¡®win the lottery¡¯ again?¡±

    ¡°Oh I¡¯m pretending that I am being irresponsible with my money and am in debt over this one. I do actually get a decent paycheck from my ¡®real job¡¯ you know. Single, no kids, I can exin a lot.¡±

    ¡°You are throwing up all sorts of red-gs, my scaly friend. You need to be a bit more careful.¡±

    Jessie looks out over the teeming city below and at the huge holographic religious sigil hovering above it all.

    ¡°You know,¡± she says, ¡°If you didn¡¯t know what that thing meant it would almost be beautiful.¡±

    ¡°On the other hand,¡± the lizard responds, ¡°all that religious oppression is good for business. If we became a free society I would go out of business overnight. All hail the great egg! May it forever be peeping into our bedrooms!¡±

    Jessie justughs in response.

    ¡°So, what do you have for me?¡± she asks.

    ¡°Oh the usual,¡± the lizard says pulling out a small box, ¡°Thetest Federation shipping routes, navigational hazards, detours, patrol schedules, and locations of most of their fleet plus a few crystals full of thetest deep dive that I did. I grabbed tons of shit but am not entirely sure all that¡¯s in there.¡±

    ¡°Excellent!¡± Jessie chirps.

    She then pulls out a transactor, loads a crystal with credits and hands it over. The lizard smiles and pockets it.

    ¡°Pleasure doing business with you, as always,¡± he says.

    ¡°Oh, I have something you may be interested in,¡± Jessie says with a huge grin as she pulls her tablet.

    ¡°Oh? Is it filthy?¡±

    ¡°Oh it¡¯s filthy alright,¡± she chuckles. ¡°Twelve hours of thetest animated Flink porn, all brand new. I know that because Imissioned it. Pretty good stuff too,¡± she says as she pulls up a few clips.

    ¡°Oh this is niiiice,¡± the Flink says drooling slightly. ¡°Quality stuff this.¡±

    ¡°It gets better,¡± Jessieughs. ¡°I also have six hours of live action stuff.¡±

    ¡°L.. liv¡­ live ac¡­ live action?¡± the Flink stammers.

    ¡°Yup.¡± Jessie ys a scene and holds up her tablet. The Flink¡¯s eyes pop wide open and his tongue shoots out adhering firmly to Jessie¡¯s tablet.

    ¡°Woah! What the fuck!¡± Jessie exims as she starts to have a tug of war with the Flink.

    ¡°Thorry! It wasth an athidencth!¡±

    ¡°Well, let go goddammit!¡±

    ¡°I canth!¡±

    ¡°What do you mean you canth?¡±

    ¡°Leth me have th thableth. I¡¯ll fixth ith.¡±

    Jessie reluctantly hands over the tablet. After a few moments the tablet is freed with an audible ¡°pop¡±.

    ¡°Jesus dude,¡± Jessie says wiping off the screen, ¡°buy me dinner first,¡± sheughs. ¡°So, I take it that you are interested?¡±

    ¡°I am!¡± the Flink says wiping a truly excessive amount of sticky drool from his mouth. ¡°How¡­ How did you get that?¡±

    ¡°Welll,¡± Jessie says stillughing, ¡°there might be a few Flink Universalists who decided to flee to the Republic in search of religious freedom and a few of them may have <em>really</em> embraced all of the freedoms we offer and were also keen to earn a few credits. And so, I have six hours of the raunchiest most perverted acts they coulde up with. They say some of it even isn¡¯t in the sodomyws because the priesthood hasn¡¯t thought of it yet.¡±

    ¡°H-How much?¡±

    ¡°Oh wait my little pervert, it gets better,¡± Jessie says pulling up another screen. ¡°I also happen to have the entire contents of Game Source Fire¡¯s game library and I mean all of them from Happy Puff Puff Farmer to the entire contents of the Blood Vault.¡±

    She looks at him suspiciously.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t going to splooge all over my tablet again are you?¡± she asks as she hands the tablet over.

    The Flink pages through the contents his eyes getting wider and wider as he does. ¡°Oh,¡± Jessie says with a grin, ¡°Those games in the vault? Those little skulls next to the title aren¡¯t for show. Those are the most twisted, most dark, most violent, most perverted shit a Terran mind cane up with. Some Terrans have actually needed professional help after ying some of those four and five skull games.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit!¡± the Flink exims as he continues to scroll. ¡°You have Federation Fun Time!¡±

    ¡°With all of the DLC including Species Master. You can indulge in the absolute best VR carnage using your own species no less!¡± Jessie smiles as she looks at the Flink paging through the titles in awe. ¡°All of itpletely cracked, all copy protection and licenses removed and ready to go. I even put in a custom license generator so you can sell it by the copy without them being able to undercut you, unless they are as good as we are of course. You will be able to buy a dozen of those fancy grav-cars in a week.¡±

    ¡°How much for all of it?¡±

    ¡°Not how much, mister drooly, what,¡± Jessie says with a malicious smile.

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± the Flink says looking at her with suspicion. ¡°What do you want?¡±

    ¡°The engineering firm you work for did all of the controls for the <em>White Star</em>, right?¡±

    ¡°Oh fuck.¡±

    ¡°I want everything and I mean everything. I want all of the source code, all of the wiring diagrams, all of the structural drawings, all of the training simtors, the location and nature of every single sensor, the nature and location of all automated defenses, location of and control programs for all automated doors, all you have about their drives and nap, all of their AI, and anything else you got¡­ I want every single one and zero, all of it and I do mean all,¡± Jessie said as she took back her tablet.

    The Flink just made a deep trilling sound with his tongue and looked skyward for a few moments.

    ¡°Done. I can do that no problem. I will need a couple of days and a crate to hold all the crystals but consider it done,¡± the Flink says wiping away some more drool.

    He squints his eyes at Jessie.

    ¡°Do I even want to know?¡±

    ¡°Probably not,¡± Jessie says, ¡°I will say this. Cover your fucking tracks on this one. You absolutely do not want thising back on you.¡±

    ¡°I always do.¡± the Flink says with a smile and a trill. ¡°This is going to be fun!¡±

 Chapter Sheila Collects a Debt and Jon Gets a Visit

    Chapter She Collects a Debt and Jon Gets a Visit

    Horace Green finally closed hisputer screen and left for the day. It had been a long day at Axion Lines. He absolutely hated having to deal with pampered rich entitled assholes day in and day out who acted like the slightest detail being not to their absolute liking on their cruise was the end of the fucking world. He had spent two fucking hours trying to rectify the fact that a customer didn¡¯t think the thread count of their bed linens was what it definitely was. He had to pull the ship¡¯s engineer from his duties to personally scan the goddamn sheets and the bastard still wasn¡¯t happy. Fortunately a few passes with a sonic cleaner made them ¡°soft enough¡± for his entitled ass.

    God he hated them.

    As he was walking towards his smart car he saw some bitch leaning against it. Great, if that asshole put one scratch on his car they were going to pay for the detailing. As he got closer he recognized her¡­ and turned around immediately only to find that two more people, a gigantic ck man and a slender blonde (a xen?) closing in behind. The xen pulled out a switchde and there was a distinct ¡°click¡± as the de shot out. He turned towards the lot, the only other way out and there were two more men standing there. One of them pulled out a gun.

    He froze. He always knew and dreaded this day woulde and now it was here.

    ¡°Horace, Horace, Horace,¡± She said shaking her head as she approached. ¡°Is that any way to greet an old friend? You are hurting my feelings.¡±

    ¡°What¡­ what do you want? I don¡¯t have the money.¡±

    ¡°Who said anything about money? We never said you had to pay us back with money. We just said that you owed us and one day we would collect and here we are. It won¡¯t cost you a single credit.¡±

    Horace¡¯s knees were literally shaking with fear. He didn¡¯t know who these people were when he got a ¡°loan¡± from them. He was desperate. He should have asked some questions or found out who they were beforehand. These were bad people, very bad. His bookie justughed when he described them and told him that he was better off getting his legs broken.

    ¡°So, Horace, how have you been? Keeping your nose clean? Haven¡¯t been gambling again, have you?¡±

    Horace just flinched.

    ¡°Oh, Horace¡­ Poor poor Horace,¡± She said sympathetically. ¡°So how much do you owe this time?¡±

    ¡°Fifty-thousand,¡± he said without thinking. He winced again. He shouldn¡¯t have said that.

    ¡°Jessie, dear,¡± She said to a woman beside her, ¡°Would you be a darling and cut off another fifty for our friend here.¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± Jessie said as she pulled out a transactor.

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t want your money¡­ I...¡±

    ¡°Nonsense, Horace,¡± She purred as she moved far too close to him, ¡°It¡¯s the least we can do considering the little favor you are about to do for us¡­ And you <em>are</em> about to do a favor for us.¡±

    ¡°W¡­ What do you want?¡±

    ¡°Nothing, really,¡± She said softly as she stroked his face. He stiffened with fear. ¡°You are just going to lend us your badge and tell us your password, that¡¯s all. Won¡¯t hurt a bit.¡±

    Horace was about to pass out. Giving out that information couldnd him in jail.

    ¡°It¡­ It only works for me.¡±

    ¡°Then there won¡¯t be a problem. It¡¯s a small thing to ask for all the money we have given you plus the extra fifty,¡± She purred, ¡°Oh, I do have one teensy little question though. What biometric data do you need to log in?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t tell you,¡± Horace whined. ¡°Please...¡±

    He suddenly felt something sharp poke him in the back.

    ¡°I really think you should answer the woman, <em>porkie</em>,¡± the xendy whispered in his ear. ¡°I would really hate to get blood all over my new blouse.¡±

    ¡°A hand print. We use a hand print,¡± Horace said as he clenched his eyes shut.

    ¡°See, that wasn¡¯t so hard was it?¡± She asked with a predatory smile. ¡°Jessie?¡±

    Jessie scampered up with her tablet and presented it to Horace.

    ¡°Just log in like you would at work,¡± she said brightly.

    Horace meekly did just that with tears in his eyes.

    ¡°There you go. See, that didn¡¯t hurt one bit did it?¡± She asked backing away with a smile. ¡°Your debt has been paid in full.¡±

    Everyone turned and started to walk away. As they did so She paused and turned around.

    ¡°Oh, onest thing,¡± she said smiling pleasantly, ¡°Not a word about this. Not. One. Word. You run your mouth and we will kill you¡­ eventually. Jessie, please remember to turn the security cameras back on this time.¡±

    ¡°Jeez, forget one time and you just won¡¯t let it go will you?¡± Jessie askedpletely vexed.

    With that they all walked away.

    Horace fell to his knees and wept.

    ***

    Toby was sitting at his desk polishing the embassy¡¯s silverware. He pulled out a scanner and examined a fork closely. He then started polishing it again while happily humming to himself.

    The door opened and a mechanical spider with a huge water filled globe in the center containing arge eel like fish entered.

    Toby rose from his desk.

    ¡°Good afternoon, director.¡± Toby said pleasantly. ¡°To what do we owe the honor? It isn¡¯t often that one such as yourself descends from the heavens to bless us lowly mortals with your divine presence,¡± Toby said with just the right amount of sarcasm.

    ¡°Stuff it, Toby,¡± Director Axlea said with augh. ¡°Is the asshole in?¡±

    ¡°Yes he is,¡± Toby said as he pulled out a Powerbar Extreme from his desk and whipped out a Terran stylebat knife expertly slicing it into cubes.

    ¡°Oh Toby,¡± Axlea said as the top of her globe opened. ¡°Always the gracious host.¡±

    With that she approached his desk. Using one of the forks conveniently on his desk he skewered a cube and lowered it towards the globe. Axlea poked her head out of the water and grabbed it.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t make me stretch for it this time,¡± she said as she munched happily.

    ¡°The joke was getting old, just like yourself,¡± Toby said pleasantly. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want you to strain something.¡±

    ¡°Ha,¡± Axlea said as she happily received another cube.

    ¡°Honestly, director, why don¡¯t you just buy these? You can get them at Republic Goods."

    ¡°Oh yes, the director of Federation Intelligence just walks in to get a Republic product? My picture would be on the front page.¡±

    ¡°Well, it just so happens that I have an entire box of these right over here,¡± Toby said as he walked to a cab and pulled out arge box of the bars and handed them to Axlea.

    ¡°Holy shit, Toby,¡± Director Axlea enthused as she stowed them away in her bot. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±

    ¡°Nonsense, we Terrans are known for our hospitality.¡±

    Axlea filled her globe with bubbles sheughed so hard.

    ¡°I wish I could stay and chat but I have to save some of my capacity for carpshit for your boss. Before I go are there any state secrets you want to let slip?¡±

    Toby looked both ways and then leaned in to whisper, ¡°The Republic doesn¡¯t like you very much at all.¡±

    ¡°Wow. Damn, Toby. After a leak like that do you need any protection? We have a safe house nearby.¡±

    With augh Toby pressed the inte.

    ¡°Ambassador, the Director of Federation Intelligence is here wishing to speak with you.¡±

    ¡°By all means, let her through,¡± Jon replied in a pleasant voice. Director Axlea, blinking with a little confusion, walked into Jon¡¯s office. Jon rose to greet her.

    ¡°Director, what a pleasant surprise,¡± He said with a smile.

    ¡°Who are you and what did you do with¡­ Fuck. You assholes got your hands on the ssified closed door briefing I had with Federation Defense and the Council where I told them exactly what I thought about nning an attack on you dickheads didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I had absolutely no idea you used words like those, director,¡± Jon said with a grin. ¡°I especially liked the part where you told General Mluxor where he could put his strategic assessment.¡±

    Director Axlea just sighed.

    ¡°You know K-shal-ta is going to do some serious jail time for that monumental fuck-up. Goddammit! What didn¡¯t you assholes get?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t know the exact diameter of your asshole but that¡¯s about it.¡±

    ¡°Want to measure it, cockface?¡±

    ¡°You know, if you acted like this before we could have gotten along a lot better,¡± Jonughed. ¡°So what do you want? I know you didn¡¯te all the way down here for a power bar and to getughed at.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Axlea said with a gusty bubbly sigh, ¡°we have a problem, a somewhatrge problem and it involves you. More precisely it involves your ability to be aplete and total shit.¡±

    ¡°Oh, do tell,¡± Jon said as he stood up from his desk. ¡°Hang on, I think I am going to need some coffee for this one.¡±

    He filled his cup.

    ¡°Ok,y it on me.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if you remember Commander Farstan,¡± Axlea said blowing a few bubbles of annoyance.

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°The um, porkie, you showed all of those executions to?¡±

    ¡°Oh her!¡± Jonughed. ¡°I remember her. She left here almost in tears. That was a good one.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, asshole, it was,¡± Director Axlea growled, ¡°It was so good that you broke her. She has gonepletely and totally bugshit. She has gone, what is your term? Oh yes, <em>rogue</em>, she has gone rogue.¡±

    ¡°Rogue, you say? That¡¯s interesting, almost as interesting as you telling me about it.¡±

    ¡°Well, there is a story there,¡± the director said, ¡°She started acting erratically. So much so that she was assessed and found unfit for duty. She was a good agent and we didn¡¯t want to lose her so she was ced on leave while she attended therapy. One day she didn¡¯t show up for her session. A few days pass and she misses another. Come to find out she had vanished, not a trace of her anywhere. Now here¡¯s the part I am not happy about,¡± Axlea said blowing a stream of bubbles. ¡°Since she was in charge of Terran operations she had ess to various caches of credits, weapons, shit like that. Somehow she was able to reach a pile of credits before she disappeared. You can bet some heads rolled over that one. Anyway we have it on pretty good authority that she hired some Grade-A mercs and has started her own little operation.¡±

    Director Axlea slides a data crystal over to Jon.

    ¡°Damn, what did she hire, Drax?¡± Jon said as he looked at images of the two attacks.

    ¡°Nope, altered Z¡¯uush.¡±

    ¡°Fuck. Those little bastards are good.¡±

    ¡°I know, right?¡±

    ¡°This is one hell of a mess,¡± Jon said with a smile, ¡°Now why the hell are you telling me all of this?¡±

    ¡°In her sessions, your name came up quite often,¡± the director said, ¡°usually associated with violent dismemberment. We are concerned that she might try to take you out. Needless to say, the fucking ambassador for the goddamn Terran Republic getting messily killed by a rogue Federation Intelligence officer would be a diplomatic mess of titanic proportions. It could even rekindle hostilities. We can¡¯t have that. A kill order has been ced on our side and we thought you would like to do the same.¡±

    ¡°I like the rekindling hostilities part,¡± Jon said with a grin.

    ¡°Fuck you. We are prepared to¡­pensate the Republic if you manage to get to her first,¡± Axlea said as she blew bubbles of resignation, ¡°We would be willing to discuss the release of several of your field agents should you manage to help us with this little issue. It mighte as a shock but we don¡¯t just ughter captured agents, like other governments I might name, dickhead.¡±

    ¡°They were porkies and there were too many to conveniently process. Besides I really don¡¯t consider hooking someone up to a neural inductor for a few weeks particrly civilized either.¡±

    ¡°Please, we only use the inductor on dissidents. For agents we use fatigue and drugs,¡± the directorughed.

    ¡°How civilized of you,¡± Jon said rolling his eyes.

    ¡°Everything we are willing to release concerning Farstan is on that crystal I gave you. Do with it what you will,¡± Director Axlea said as she turned to leave.

    ¡°Thanks for the heads up, bitch,¡± Jon said as she was walking away.

    ¡°No problem, cockbite,¡± Axlea said as she left his office.

    Once she left Jon buzzed Toby over the inte.

    ¡°Yes, ambassador?¡±

    ¡°Get me Terran Intelligence. Something interesting just came up. One more thing, that armored limo we use for dignitaries, get it fueled up and ready to go,¡± Jon said as he checked his sidearm, ¡°And start packing heat. Things are about to get fun.¡±

 Chapter Project Financing

    Chapter Project Financing

    Deputy Kolun leaned back in his desk pod bouncing a hard rubber ball against the wall. He sighed ring his vestigial gill-slits as he did so.

    ¡°Gods I am so darn bored,¡± he said as he caught the ball for the hundredth time.

    ¡°Boredom is good in our line of work,¡± the chief said as he surfed the worl, ¡°Boredom means nothing messed up is happening.¡±

    ¡°Nothing messed up ever happens in this pond-scum town.¡±

    ¡°What about Matron Goloriux¡¯s kid getting all hopped up on zip and swimming around in the town pond nakedst week?¡± the chief asked with a chuckle, ¡°That happened. It took both you and Parsxn to haul him in.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that was fun,¡± Kolun said. ¡°That kid ok?¡±

    ¡°Yup. Got out of the hospital today,¡± the chief said and then chuckled again. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t want to be him when he shows back up at school tomorrow.¡±

    They bothughed. An unfamiliar electric car drove up and parked right in front of the doors. The chief frowned. That was beyond rude. It wasn¡¯t even a marked parking space. He was definitely going to write them a ticket.

    The doors of the car opened and two bipedal creatures, dressed in long coats and wearing dark sun visors almostpletely covering the top half of their faces got out. The chief grinded his tes. He was not a xenology expert but everyone in the Federation knew what a human looked like and everyone in the Federation knew that humans meant trouble. He snarled. First it was some jolpura moving into Slolmothu and now humans showing up here? The whole was going to pot.

    The humans entered the station.

    ¡°Um, may I help you?¡± Deputy Cynlth asked as the doors to the station opened.

    ¡°Yes, sorry for troubling you,¡± Jacob said pleasantly through his visor. ¡°We-¡±

    ¡°What are you doing here, humans?¡± The chief asked in a less than hospitable voice.

    ¡°Our vehicle is acting strangely,¡± Jacob said pleasantly, ¡°I think the navigation software is off. Either that or I messed something up,¡± heughed.

    ¡°Kind of hard to mess up a navigator,¡± the chief said in even a less pleasant tone, ¡°You tell it where you want it to go and the car takes you there. Pretty damn simple, even for a human.¡±

    The deputies looked at the chief inplete confusion. This wasn¡¯t like him at all.

    ¡°Umm...¡± Jacob said looking at the chief and then at Greg, hispanion. Greg nods slightly and slowly starts to move his hand into a coat pocket.

    ¡°Look. We aren¡¯t looking for any trouble we-¡±

    ¡°Not looking for trouble? Half of you start a pond sucking war and the other half of you tear the Federation apart and you aren¡¯t looking for trouble? The Waters help us all if you one day do decide to look for it.¡±

    ¡°Hey, we had absolutely nothing to do with that,¡± Jacob said backing away slightly and ncing around the room. ¡°We are just a little lost and are looking for help,¡± he said as he slipped one of hands into a coat pocket and gripped the handle of a small stunner.

    ¡°KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM, HUMANS¡± the chief yelled as put his pads on the grip of his ster. Both Jacob and Greg immediatelyplied and both removed their hands from their pockets and let their arms hang loosely at their sides.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be this way,¡± Jacob said, ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be this way, <em>please</em>.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you move,¡± the chief said his pads still on his ster. ¡°Show me your papers. Cynlth, Kolun, cover me.¡±

    ¡°Chief?¡± Kolun asked.

    ¡°You heard me. Cover me.¡±

    ¡°Dude, please, it doesn¡¯t have to go down like this,¡± Greg said calmly.

    ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t,¡± Jacob said as it took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

    The chief started to walk forward as his deputies, still really confused, put their pads on their sters.

    ¡°Let¡¯s all just calm dow-¡± Greg started.

    The deputies started to draw their sters. As soon as their weapons started to move the hands of both humans turned into blurs each one drawing a Terran submachine gun and opening fire. The explosive rounds tore the chief and his deputies open before they could even get their sters out of their holsters. The humans then moved through the entire station like wraiths clearing each room with unearthly speed, surprising an unluckymunications officer who was gunned down before he could even get out of his pod.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± Jacob yelled as he kicked a wall.

    ¡°Yeah, that could have gone better,¡± Greg said as he looked down at what was left of themunications officer. ¡°Fucking hate it when this happens.¡± Heid his hand on Jacob¡¯s shoulder. ¡°We followed protocol. Skip the stunners once real weaponse into y.¡±

    Jacob just shrugged.

    ¡°What¡¯s done is done.¡±

    Jacob pulled out amunicator.

    ¡°Strike team, this is Tac-1. The target is secure. We¡¯ve hadplications,¡± he said calmly.

    ¡°Fuck. How many?¡± She asked.

    ¡°Four if you count the one manning the radio.¡±

    ¡°How many does that leave unounted for?¡±

    ¡°We just have the two patrol cars,¡± Jessie chirped brightly. ¡°Bringing up their locations on your HUD¡¯s now. Based on their patterns over the past few days they shouldn¡¯t be a problem.¡±

    ¡°Shift operation from clean to wet,¡± She said calmly, ¡°Jacob, Greg, Roberts, cover the area and eliminate any threats. Move and fire at will. Paper Tiger, start selective signal jamming and hold position. Advise if graviticmunication is detected. Strike team, be advised we have switched to a wet operation. Let¡¯s go.¡±

    ***

    It was just like any other day at the bank. I was just sitting there trying to help Matron Klonth with the exact same problem she hadst month but was having a really hard time paying attention. In just a few hours I was going on a date! Yes! Me! A date! A real date! I met this cute guy online and we were going to meet over in Slolmothu for dinner! I really wasn¡¯t paying attention because I was so excited and had to start over but whatever.

    Poor Master Zorrth was just standing there patiently waiting for me to get my act together. I like him. He gives out the best treats at the harvest festival. They are awesome. The security guard, old Master Horthan was sitting in his favorite pod drinking tea. We didn¡¯t think we needed a guard (ha, ha) but he¡¯s been here like forever and nobody want¡¯s to let him go. He¡¯s nice. When he says I look nice or that he likes my dress it doesn¡¯t feel greasy, you know?

    The bank manager, Matron Zalon (She¡¯s really nice too. I mean she is a tough boss but nice about it you know?) started toe out of her office to wait on Master Zorrth when a van pulled right up in front of the doors and four humans wearing real live Terran lightbat armor (just like in the video games!) just ran into the ce!

    ¡°This is a robbery!¡± a female shouted as they all pointed real live Terran weapons at us (two AK-47D¡¯s, a Rocksteady AS4 boarding shotgun, and a Wasp SMG if the game ¡°Bug Spray¡± is correct). ¡°Everyone keep their hands where we can see them and nobody gets hurt.¡±

    A robbery? What? A real live bank robbery? I just couldn¡¯t believe it. Poor old Master Horthan jumped up and tried to shoot his stunner at a big human (And Terrans are already big. This guy was <em>huge</em>.) The giant just grabbed him and threw him to the ground. I swear Master Horthan bounced like a couple of centimeters when he hit the floor. I¡¯m surprised he didn¡¯t break something.

    ¡°You are lucky I knew that was a stunner or you would be dead right now,¡± the big Terran said to Master Horthan, ¡°and there is absolutely nothing in here worth dying over.¡±

    ¡°What part of wet do you not understand, Eno?¡± this other Terran, a female one, said in a scary voice as she stopped next to Master Horthan and drew a real live Martian skull splitter (just like the one I had when I yed ¡°Red Sunset¡±!). The skull splitter had an amazing intricately etched and iid de that seemed to dance in the light as it moved. Even as it was being raised to murder Master Horthan I couldn''t help but think how beautiful it was.

    ¡°Hey!¡± The one in charge yelled. ¡°Gloria, can you not be a psychopath just this once, please,¡± she said to the scary one, ¡°<em>Without killing anyone unless you have to</em>, get everyone next to Sheriff Dumbass over there,¡± she said pointing to Master Horthan.

    I looked over at my boss and then over at the silent rm button that¡¯s under my counter. She looked at me and shook her head a little. I don¡¯t know what I was thinking but I slowly reached under there and pressed it anyway. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

    ¡°Bow-head,¡± a smaller female said as she pointed at my bow, ¡°just triggered an rm.¡± How did she know that? I still don¡¯t know how she knew that.

    Before I even had time to blink the one in charge grabbed me and threw me clear across the lobby. I really hurt my arm when Inded. It¡¯s still really sore. I¡¯m just d the scary one didn¡¯t get to me first.

    ¡°ON THE FLOOR NOW!¡± the leader yelled as they pushed everyone, even old Matron Klonth, right down really hard. The leader turned to the one that told on me and asked, ¡°The rm, is it going to be a problem?¡±

    ¡°It goes to the local police station (giggle). We better hurry (giggle). They could be here any second (giggle).¡±

    ¡°Oh shit. We are in trouble now,¡± the scary woman chuckled.

    I didn¡¯t know why they thought it was funny at the time. Poor guys. I went to school with two of them. They were nice. Well one of them could be a jerk sometimes but even he didn¡¯t deserve <em>that</em>. They said it looked like firecrackers went off in their guts.

    ¡°Ok. You,¡± the leader said as she pointed at my boss, ¡°You look like the manager. Come here.¡±

    My boss started scooch like a snail towards the human. The human made a strange noise. She sounded like she was in pain or something.

    ¡°You can stand. Stand up ande here,¡± she said while she put her hand on her visor and shook her head.

    ¡°Right, first off you and Jessie over there,¡± she said as she pointed at the one who snitched on me, ¡°are going to empty your local credit repository into her transactor. Then you two are going to go into your office. Do exactly what she says exactly how she says it. Don¡¯t try to be smart because she¡¯s smarter and will kill you. Sheriff Dumbass and Little Miss Tattle-Tale over there have used up all of your stupid points.¡±

    ¡°Yes, yes. No problem! Just don¡¯t hurt anyone, please!¡± Matron Zalon said as she was led over to my counter. She tried to enter the password but her pads were shaking so bad she kept screwing it up. I think the fact that the human called Jessie was holding a submachine gun to her head didn¡¯t help.

    She finally got it right and dumped our entire buffer onto a crystal. It¡¯s a lot of money, tens of thousands of credits at least! I thought it was a whole lot of money and what they came for. Boy was I wrong.

    ¡°Cool, we have beer money,¡± the one called Jessie said in a happy voice, ¡°Now we do the fun stuff. C¡¯mon.¡±

    With that my boss was marched into her office with a real submachine gun pointed at the back of her head. I don¡¯t exactly know what they were doing in there but Matron Zalon looked really scared and confused and it looked like Jessie was getting really impatient. I got a little worried. I know from Terran movies that those guns can go off just like that and the human was just waving it all around as she yelled at my boss. She didn¡¯t shoot her though and a few minutester my boss was marched right back out into the lobby.

    ¡°Now you justy there,¡± Jessie said in a snippy voice, ¡°You are capable of that, right? You really need to learn your damn job!¡±

    She then turned around and started to stomp back into the manager¡¯s office in a huff.

    ¡°Well, I am fucking sorry that my ignorance made robbing us inconvenient!¡± My boss yelled.

    Everybody just stopped. I couldn¡¯t believe it. I¡¯ve never heard my boss say any bad words and she used a <em>really</em> bad one. The humans just busted outughing.

    ¡°I like her. Try not to kill her,¡± the one they called Jessie said as she walked back into the manager¡¯s office. She then plugged this fancy looking tablet into the old officeputer and started typing <em>really fast</em>.

    ¡°You look confused,¡± the leader said to my boss, ¡°You didn¡¯t think we set all this up to swipe one-hundred and fifty thousand credits?¡±

    Wow! One-hundred and fifty thousand credits! We had that much? Holy poop that¡¯s a lot of money! (I thought at the time. Well it is a lot of money but it isn¡¯t <em>a lot of money</em>.)

    ¡°You didn¡¯t?¡± my boss asked.

    That leader woman made this noise like she sneezed in her helmet.

    ¡°Yeah, we traveled to this, picked this town, did a tactical insertion, and took over your bank for a measly one-fifty. Do you even know how the banking system in the Federation works?¡± she asked and then she cocked her head oddly. ¡°Guys,¡± she said, ¡°We have a customer iing.¡±

    I looked and it was Felixroh, a friend of mine. She came by a lot just to say hi.

    The doors opened and she walked in and just stopped.

    ¡°What are you guys doing on the floor?¡± she asked, really confused.

    She didn¡¯t notice the huge armored humans with guns. It was us all having a lie down that interested her. I love the girl but I swear...

    That¡¯s when she got grabbed and plopped down next to me.

    ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± she whispered to me in a terrified squeaky (she always squeaks when she is nervous) voice.

    ¡°We¡¯re getting robbed.¡± I whispered back.

    She breathed a huge sigh of relief.

    ¡°Thank the Waters¡­ I thought we were getting invaded,¡± she whispered. I couldn¡¯t help but giggle but shut up real quick when that one they called Gloria looked at us. I couldn¡¯t see her eyes but boy could I <em>feel</em> them.

    ¡°Is that a skull splitter?¡± Felixroh whispered to me.

    ¡°Quiet,¡± I hissed at her. It was toote. Gloria walked over to us and crouched.

    ¡°How do you know what this is?¡± Gloria whispered in a very very scary voice as she held the skull splitter entirely too close. This is it, I thought. We are going to die.

    ¡°Red Sunset¡­ We y it a lot.¡± Felixroh said cheerfully.

    I could have killed her if Gloria didn¡¯t do it for me. Last thing we wanted to do is say we can identify <em>anything</em>¡­ and she let <em>everyone</em> know we yed video games too! I love her but pond scum! She can be so stupid sometimes.

    ¡°Excellent historical uracy but the engine sucks,¡± the scary woman said in a much more friendly voice, ¡°Now shut the fuck up.¡±

    She stood and stepped away.

    ¡°Where was I?¡± their leader said, ¡°Right. Believe it or not banking is something that the Federation does right. They use normalmunications for basic shit but the actual transactions, the credits, go through apletely independentwork, their own hyperspatial rys, the works. There are only three ways to get into thatwork. A terrestrialwork hub, a hyperspatial ry, or a bank. Thework hub and that hyperspatial ry? Those are among the most secure locations in the Federation. Fighting a Fed cruiser is easier. Banks are the only practical way to ess it. Of course in a bank there is a lot of extraputer security shit in the way. If I felt like torturing you I would have Jessie exin it. What our little firecracker is doing right now is trying to bypass that security and ess ounts directly. Once she pulls that off and we can start making, pardon the pun, bank.¡±

    ¡°You mean you will be able to start emptying entire ounts?¡± my boss asked looking kind of sick.

    ¡°Yep, down to thest credit. We¡¯re doing some ¡®fundraising¡¯ for a little project we are working on,¡± their leader said happily, ¡°Don¡¯t worry. We aren¡¯t going to steal from you guys. Each ount takes time to breach and has a whole newyer of security. Takes too long to go after little fish. You guys are safe. Some other assholes are going to have a very bad morning tomorrow. Don¡¯t feel too bad for ¡®em. They deserve it.¡±

    Wow! I did not know that¡¯s how it worked. Neat! Then it hit me. They weren¡¯t here for thousands. They were here for millions! By the Waters of the Eternal Pond!

    I don¡¯t know how much time passed. It felt like forever but the police never came. I still hadn¡¯t figured out why.

    I knew was definitely going to stand up my date. This was the worst. He didn¡¯t believe me when I told him what happened until he saw it on the news. You bet he called me right back after that. Too bad he turned out to be a total <em>jerkface!</em>

    ¡°Clock¡¯s ticking, Jessie,¡± the leader said, ¡°How much do you have?¡±

    ¡°Coming over to your HUD.¡±

    HUD¡¯s are neat! They show you stuff inside your helmet! (I learned that from video games too!)

    ¡°Fuck it. That¡¯s going to have to do. We gotta go,¡± their leader said, ¡°We just had someone show up early for their shift. That early bird just got a couple of worms.¡±

    ¡°Sucks to be them. Ok. Aaaannnnddd¡­ Done!¡±

    It was right then that I realized why the police weren¡¯t showing up. I still get the shakes thinking about how I set off that rm. I could have been killed! <em>I should have been killed!</em>

    A cargo van pulled up next to the door and the side doors opened.

    ¡°Pleasure doing business with you folks and sorry about the cops. We honestly didn¡¯t want it to go down that way.¡± the leader said and then they all bolted out of the door and into the van.

    ***

    They turned the whole system inside out looking for those guys. They never even found the van! My boss told meter that they stole over sixteen million credits. Sixteen million! The odd part was that they stole it from other humans. Weird.

    We just had thest funeral yesterday. People are all talking about taking up a collection so they can post a bounty. I don¡¯t have the heart to tell them they are just wasting their time. Those guys are long gone and probably have plenty of bounties on them already.

    A lot of people are also talking about getting sters or something in case theye back. I just shake my head. They aren¡¯ting back and if they do I really don¡¯t think some hick with a civilian pop-gun is going to be able to do anything besides get some firecrackers in his guts. That looked like mark six lightbat armor and you need at least a ss four energy weapon to get through that stuff. A normal person can¡¯t get that sort of thing around here. Oops. I don¡¯t want to sound too much like a separatist, a cultist, or a tomboy. I just really like Terran video games (Don¡¯t tell anybody. My parents would <em>freak</em>).

    The bank and the Federation are just about done investigating. Rumor has it they didn¡¯t find a single thing. Doesn¡¯t surprise me. Boss says we are going to re-open next week. My mom doesn¡¯t want me to but I¡¯m going back to work. A girl has to eat and I would much rather get thrown across a bank lobby than move back in with my parents. There is no pooping way that is going to happen.

    ***

    I get back from lunch with my boss. She is so happy I am staying on I''m getting a pooping raise!

    There is a knock at my door. There¡¯s a kind of shabby looking guy there holding a box.

    ¡°Yes?¡± I ask as I open the door.

    ¡°Here,¡± The guy just hands me the box and walks off.

    ¡°Wait,¡± I say but he just keeps walking.

    That was weird. I take the box inside and open it. Holy Waters of the Eternal Pond! A skull splitter! A real one! It has the pattern weldedminated Terran steel de, bone handle, and everything!

    There is also a crystal in there. Pads shaking I load it into myputer¡­

    It¡¯s Federation Fun Time! Oh scum! With Species Master! Oh double scum!

    I have a few days before I go back to work. I know what I will be doing until then!

 Chapter Grabbing Another Piece

    Chapter Grabbing Another Piece

    ¡°So where do we stand?¡± She asked as another tter of sushi was delivered to their table.

    ¡°Thest job gave us some breathing room. We didn¡¯t fully achieve our mission but sixteen million should get us there excluding all of the hardware Jessie ims is needed,¡± Greg said as he helped himself to some sashimi.

    ¡°It is needed!¡± Jessie chirped. ¡°We are talking about aplete virtual recreation of the White Star. This isn¡¯t some VR game. This is the real deal, a true virtual model down to the nanogram and nanometer that will act exactly like the real thing down to the temperature of each wire and RPM of each rotor. That¡¯s a pretty tall order. Add to that recreation of all of the AI¡¯s and other control software plus standard intelligence and personality modeling of the security personnel and now it¡¯s getting tricky. Top that withplete physics and hyperphysics modeling good enough to predict not only exactly how it will react but what the force and strains will be across a ship of that size? Fuck! Now it¡¯s fun!¡± she babbled. ¡°I mean we could cut a few corners but we could also blow up when we try to jump or wind up actually lost in space instead of kinda lost in space.¡±

    ¡°The lost in space part doesn¡¯t concern me,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said as he dipped some yellowfin into soy sauce, ¡°I can probably get us out of that bind. The blowing up part doesn¡¯t sound fun though.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you are the lord of the void jump,¡± Gloria said as she sipped some sake, ¡°You''ve jumped into and out of interster space more times than anyone else has many times over. How do you do it? Most people would have cashed in their chips by now.¡±

    ¡°By knowing hyperspace,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al chuckled as he went for the salmon, ¡°Most navigators don¡¯t really know hyperspace, not really. They are just equipment operators, no offense.¡±

    ¡°None taken. You are absolutely right.¡±

    ¡°You have to know hyperspace, embrace it,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said buzzing quietly, ¡°and to embrace hyperspace is to embrace madness. Void jumps are terrifying and terror makes people timid. It¡¯s too easy to shrink back and blindly rely on ship¡¯s readouts and what someputer tells you is the right thing to do. That won¡¯t work. That will get you killed. You have to measure things yourself, by hand. You have to calcte things yourself, by hand. The answer you get will be wrong. Every instinct you have will tell you it¡¯s wrong. Theputer will tell you that it¡¯s wrong. That right there is what kills the void jumper. They trust their fear and they trust theputer. Do that and you are dead. You trust your skill, your measurements, and your math, nothing else.¡±

    ¡°So what exactly kills you?¡± Eno asked. ¡°I just know that a void jump equals never making it home again. They just keep missing?¡±

    ¡°Well, yeah,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said sipping some tea, ¡°That is one way to go. Someone just keeps jumping and jumping making the same mistakes over and over until the ship runs out of energy or the drive breaks but that¡¯s not the only way. When you are jumping in and out of real space you aren¡¯t just dealing with location. The whole universe is moving. You are moving when you go into hyperspace and you will be moving when you leave. A perfect jump would have absolutely no change in eleration from beginning to end but no jump is perfect. That is why you hear a ship groan or you feel that weird lurch when you pop out. The ship and everyone and everything in it is catching back up to real space-time. Screw it up and that little lurch can be a few thousand g¡¯s and everyone goes smush or that little groan is a spin or a twist that tears the ship apart.¡±

    ¡°Jesus,¡± Eno said.

    ¡°Of course there is another possible oue,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said with a chuckle, ¡°There is also the distinct possibility that you could enter hyperspace and never leave at all. It would be just the same as running out of energy or starving but I think it adds a new level of dread to the whole thing. If you die outside of the universe what happens to your soul?¡±

    ¡°Ok. Now you are just fucking with us,¡± Greg said.

    ¡°Nope,¡± Gloria said as she knocked back some more sake, ¡°That can happen. Probably won¡¯t, but it can.¡±

    ¡°Shit," She said between mouthfuls, "Ok. We want Jessie and T¡¯sunk¡¯al to be happy before we do this one.¡±

    ¡°But wait,¡± Roberts said as he grabbed the better part of a tuna roll, ¡°Didn¡¯t T¡¯sunk¡¯al say thatputers were worthless?¡±

    ¡°I said that a normal nap can¡¯t be trusted, not thatputers are worthless,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said around a mouthful of nigiri, ¡°Most people don¡¯t know what a nap really is. It is basically a very, very detailed database of star systems. It determines your exact location and velocity based on the known parameters of the system you are in. It then esses it¡¯s memory to get the exact location and velocity of your destination and then it uses a few boiled-down highly specialized equations that arepletely dependent upon a lot of assumed information. The AI crunches down digital equivalents of what really aren¡¯t digital equations and then converts all of that back into analog signals that the actual hyperdrive uses and then you go pop. As an added bonus both the star that you are leaving from and the one that you are going to both leave little dimples in space-time that make stopping, starting, and the math all that much easier. A void jump ispletely outside of its normal operating parameters. All of them have an ¡®emergency function¡¯ that tries topensate if it winds up in the void but it is woefully under equipped for it. I think they should just leave it out myself.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jessie babbled, ¡°to get a real true super duper hyperspatial navigationputer you would need one hell of a supeputer. I don¡¯t mean like Bunny¡¯s home. I mean a real supeputer, maybe one bigger than anything currently running, and then the software¡­ Jesus¡­ that would have to be one hell of an AI. It would be a monster before we even considered-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna have to stop you there,¡± She said waving a hand in front of Jessie. ¡°My head¡¯s already full. Are we going to actually have to make one of these super naps?¡±

    ¡°Oh fuck no!¡± Jessie chirped, ¡°God no. Nothing nearly as much as all that. We just need to make a simcrum of the White Star, a real live virtual recreation of the vessel perfect in all respects. With that we can do spatial and hyperspatial modeling and testing. It¡¯s apletely different thing. It¡¯s much easier and Bunny can do it with the right software all of which is easily obtainable.¡±

    ¡°Basically,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said as he waved down the server for another order, ¡°with Jessie¡¯s dream machine we could easily test maneuvers and go into and out of hyperspace virtually before we do the real thing. It would alsoe in really handy during the actual job as well¡­ I think¡­ Jessie is kind of hard to follow but she says it will.¡±

    ¡°I still don¡¯t see the difference,¡± She said downing some more sake.

    ¡°It¡¯s a huge difference,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said buzzing happily, ¡°The main difference between what Jessie and I envision and what you would consider a navigationalputer is mainly that the hyperspatial physics in rtion to space-time-¡±

    ¡°Ok. Stop. Just fucking stop,¡± She said as she poured more sake, ¡°The whole n hinges on this working. T¡¯sunk¡¯al, Jessie can you do it?¡±

    ¡°Yeppers!¡± Jessie chirped. T¡¯sunk¡¯al nodded confidently.

    ¡°What do you need to make this happen?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Jessie said with a grin, ¡°You know that thing, you know, the thing¡­ The thing that I want¡­¡±

    ¡°You finally have an excuse that justifies us getting it don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yup!¡± Jessie chirped with glee.

    ***

    Dr. Slocum was giving a recent donor a tour of the advanced orbital observatory Farsight, the only remaining structure Aster University had intact following the Terran War. He normally hated catering to donors but he was really enjoying himself this time. Ms. Parker was fun, smart, and engaging.

    The fact that she was drop dead<em> gorgeous</em> didn¡¯t hurt either.

    ¡°And here it is, the Aster Supeputer,¡± he said with pride. ¡°When the Terran <em>animals</em> entered the system some very brave men and women lost their lives saving this wonder. As long as we have this,¡± he said as he lovingly stroked the case, ¡°Aster University remains alive. All of our records, all of our research, all of our archives, everything¡­ We were able to transfer it all to this miracle before the bombs fell,¡± he paused choked up with emotion, ¡°They destroyed our campus but they did not destroy our spirit. Our spirit,¡± he said as he touched the case once more, ¡°Our spirit is right here.¡±

    ¡°Amazing,¡± the woman said as she beheld the supeputer, ¡°And it¡¯s so small. You would think that it would be huge.¡±

    ¡°It may bepact, but it is one of the most advanced quantum supeputers in the Federation,¡± Dr. Slocum said proudly. ¡°Pound for pound it outperforms mostputational devices in the Federation and thus the entire gxy. There is no way that the outdated Empire could produce something like this,¡± he said proudly, ¡°and it goes without saying that those Terran animals couldn¡¯t evene close. They probably couldn¡¯t even figure out how to switch it on,¡± heughed.

    ¡°No doubt,¡± the womanughed.

    ¡°With this,¡± he said regarding the supeputer fondly, ¡°we have managed to remain operational and even continue sses. We have lost all of our ssrooms but with this supeputer we have been able to switch everything to online. All of our professors and students can interface with this and with VR it¡¯spletely like a traditional setting,¡± he said proudly. ¡°That¡¯s not something to brag about in and of itself but the fact that we are able to do it with our entire university simultaneously as well aspletely simte allbs allowing our full range of sses is noteworthy. It¡¯s a shame that we have to use this wonder for such mundane tasks but until we can rebuild our damaged infrastructure such things have be it¡¯s primary function.¡± He turned to smile at his guest. ¡°We are even donating capacity to other educational institutions across the system. Countless primary and secondary schools are able to operate in a virtual environment just as we are. Those Terran dogs just wasted their ammunition.¡±

    ¡°Just this one little thing does all that? Truly marvelous.¡± the woman said in an impressed voice.

    ¡°It does far more than that. It is also able to perform many essential tasks for the system¡¯s government as well. As you are no doubt painfully aware the Terran bastards in their so called ¡®infrastructure raids¡¯ destroyed vital governmental systems at all levels. With this,¡± he stroked the supeputer¡¯s case with love, ¡°we have greatly reduced the impact of the damage system wide. The entire system was able to transfer vital operations to this miracle. Communications, emergency services, space traffic control,w enforcement, as well as all normal operations of the system¡¯s government are all hosted right here. Believe it or not after all of that we still have plenty of capacity to perform some of the research for which this thing was created.¡±

    ¡°Truly remarkable, doctor.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Dr. Slocum said preening with pride. ¡°With this one machine we are able to keep the spirit of Aster University alive during these dark days while we rebuild and we are rebuilding thanks in no small part to generous donors like you, Ms. Parker.¡±

    ¡°Please doctor,¡± the woman smiled as she drew a tiny pistol from her pocket, ¡°call me Gloria.¡±

 Chapter Why Jon likes Director Axlea, a Transcript

    Chapter Why Jon likes Director Axlea, a Transcript

    **Security Level 01, Compartmentalization Code JUSTFURY**

    Session 32-1017-228J: Special Session Regarding Imminent Liberation of the Terran Republic:

    Director of Federation Intelligence, Director Axlea: Gentlebeings, this is the absolute dumbest fucking thing I have ever hearde out of any of your voice holes and that is saying something. This is a joke, right? This has to be a fucking joke. Tell me that you assholes are kidding.

    Head of the Federation Security Council, Councilor Gz-Kal: Please watch yournguage, Director, and yes this is the decision that the Federation Security Council and the Federation Defense Force have made. We willunch an attack upon the Terran Republic. Now is the perfect time to strike.

    Chief of Staff, Federation Defense Force, General Mulxor: We are confident that we can achieve a quick victory and force-

    Director Axlea ughing): You are out of your fucking mind! A quick vic-

    Councilor Gz-Kal: It was not your turn to speak. General Mulxor had the floor.

    Director Axlea: I don¡¯t fucking care who has the fucking floor. There is no such thing as a ¡°quick victory¡± against the fucking Terrans. They don¡¯t do that. They have never done that and they never<em> will</em> do that. A quick fucking victory? What the fuck is wrong with you people? You can¡¯t seriously be this fucking stupid.

    Councilor Gz-Kal: We have an obligation to intervene when such widespread suffering is taking ce. The people of the Terran Republic deserve to be free. This so called Republic is in fact a despotic oligarchyprised of the leadership of Zeus Industries and several other powerful-

    Director Axlea: Cut the carpshit, councilor. There isn¡¯t any press here to admire your plumage. Let¡¯s call it what it is. Nobody here is happy with the new military alliance between the Empire and the Republic. I¡¯m not happy with it. You aren¡¯t happy with it. It sucks. Once they regain their strength they will definitely be stronger than we can ever hope to be without making some drastic and painful changes to our economy. It¡¯s happening. Live with it. Besides, it¡¯s really nothing more than a formality anyhow. All of our simtions have clearly predicted a military alliance when either the Empire or the Republic were actually threatened. They are too intertwined for anything else to take ce. They have been all but the same economic entity almost since the moment they stopped shooting each other. The only chance we had to stop that was to get them to join but we fucked that all up didn¡¯t we?

    Security Council member Councilor Morgan: Hey. Legitimate grievances had to be addressed before any serious-

    Director Axlea: Carpshit. Apparently unlike anyone else here I actually know what happened during the Sol Wars and to be honest them agreeing to not killing all of you was about the best thing that we could have reasonably asked for. There was no fucking way your ¡°legitimate grievances¡± would be considered and before you even start there was also no fucking way we could have ¡°liberated¡± the system either. These are holos of the surface of Terra, Mars, and Luna taken during the Terran War of Independence. Look at them. Look. This was the state of their system and they were not only still fucking fighting they were fucking winning. They were beating down the fucking <em>Empire</em>. They brought them to their knees. They brought them to their knees without their army, without their fleet, without a fraction of the industrial capacity that they have today. If you have never listened to me before do it now. <em>We do not want a war with the Terran Republic.</em>

    General Mulxor: We have carefully considered all possible oues and tactics that the greatly weakened Republic can take and based on their standing army and navy and even with their overrated industrial capacity victory is assured. If you will actually read my strategic assessment you will clearly see-

    Director Axlea: You can take your so called ¡°strategic assessment¡± shove it repeatedly up your ass. It will be a much less savage of a fucking than you will get the second one of your ships enters Terran space.

    General Mulxor: Even they, with all of their greatly overestimatedbat ability cannot hope to prevail considering the difference in the size and strength of our fleets. They will be crushed in a matter of days.

    Director Axlea: You have to be the absolutely the dumbest fucking slug to ever wear a uniform if you possibly think that. A matter of days? Are you fucking serious? You stupid-

    Councilor Gz-Kal: Director! You will remember where you are and what your ce is!

    Director Axlea: <em>My fucking ce?</em> My ce is to safeguard the Federation and ensure that its interests are secure. That is really fucking hard to do when you assholes want to drive the whole thing off the cliff that is the Republic. These Terrans aren¡¯t like our fat and pampered humans, these things-

    Councilor Morgan: Just because you are for some reason afraid to-

    Director Axlea: <em>You are creatordamn right I¡¯m afraid!</em> These Terrans aren¡¯t like us. You of all people, Councilor Morgan, should realize exactly what these monsters really are but you are too blinded by greed-

    Council Morgan: <em>Excuse me?</em>

    Director Axlea: I¡¯m the Director of Federation Intelligence, both foreign and domestic. I, like anybody else here save the General, know full well who will be gaining the most from the ughs) ¡°victory¡±. It will be you and your associates. I seriously question why you are even here. If you had the barest shred of ethics you would recuse-

    Councilor Gz-Kal: Director that is enough!

    Director Axlea: (sighs) Look. It¡¯s my job to know exactly what is going on in the Federation and unlike a lot of you I actually do my job and do it well. Certain individuals including many sitting here today have already started to carve up the Terran Republic for themselves and are apparently too blinded by the credits dancing before them to be thinking clearly. I won¡¯t name any names and never will but this will not go well for you, for any of us. The Republic, its people, its military, and the pure adulterated <em>evil</em> that it is capable of should never be underestimated.

    Councilor Gz-Kal: That evil is exactly why-

    Director Axlea: ughs) There is some evil that you seek and there is some evil that you want no part of and the Terrans are thetter. Have any of you actually studied the Terrans? I have. It¡¯s my job. Those beings aren¡¯t like us. Their history is one of pure hell and they were the winners each and every time. Here is a photo of a noted phnthropist and activist. Look behind her. Those are <em>engraved human skulls</em> on her bookshelf and she is one of the ¡°good ones¡±. <em>They kill each other for fun!</em> Here, this is a diagram showing their per-capita rates of violent crime. Look at it. This is ¡°normal¡± for them. Here is a photo of some Terran police. That¡¯s not riot gear. They aren¡¯t responding to some unusual freakish event. That is what they wear every single day and do you know why? <em>It¡¯s because they have to.</em> Do you know what their favorite sports are? Tune into their sports channel at least once before we do this, please. Do you know what they consider a perfectly fine sport for not only their high schools but even their elementary schools? ¡°Paintball.¡± It sounds a lot gentler than it is. It¡¯s simted groundbat using marker projectiles and they y for keeps. Speaking of their primary and secondary schools, tactics and strategy are part of their regr curriculum. That¡¯s right. The average Terran civilian has more tactical training the day they graduate from their mandated education than most of our ground forces ever get and they are<em> armed</em>, all of them. It¡¯s why their police wearbat armor. Furthermore, I¡¯ve looked at your so called strategic assessment and you don¡¯t even take civilians and civilian shipping into ount and that is a huge mistake. These aren¡¯t some long suffering popce who pray for our help. Save that carpshit for the press. These are some very well armed and well trained people who like things exactly the way that they are <em>and will fight us</em>. Those civilian vessels? All of them are armed by <emw</em>. A Terran ship has to be armed or readily armable. At the very least they are fitted with pliance tubes¡±, boxes or tubes pre-loaded with a missilepletely ready and able to fire. You need to expect a lot of thosepliance tubes and I mean a lot of them.

    Councilor Gz-Kal: General is this true? Are all of them armed?

    General Mulxor: Yes but I don¡¯t consider an untrained undisciplined mob of civilians a threat to our well trained and equipped forces either onnd or in space. Most will retreat or surrender when faced with a real threat. A few stray bullets or missiles won¡¯t-

    Director Axlea: ughing) The Empire thought the same way not that long ago you know?

    General Mulxor: The Empire didn¡¯t know of the guided missile threat and we do. All of our vessels are perfectly capable of shooting down a rocket.

    Director Axlea: A rocket, sure. How about a <em>thousand</em> of them all at once? People, this is going to be ugly. The most probable oue is that we will lose and lose big. You say that you considered all possible tactics. You haven¡¯t. We don¡¯t think like they do. Not even I know what they will do but I know it will suck and that we aren¡¯t ready for it. We simp-

    Councilor Morgan: (sneering) You don¡¯t know what they will do? I thought it was your job to know.

    Director Axlea: I know my job, asswipe. I know them well enough to know that none of us, even you <em>porkies</em>, truly know what they are capable of, You-

    Councilor Gz-Kal: (shouting) Director! Suchnguage is uncalled for! That is a very distasteful slur and one that I am shocked, no outraged, to hearing from you! This will be reported!

    Director Axlea: Report away. When someone is acting like a slur I call them a slur, <em>featherhead</em>. We are standing on the brink of possibly the biggest mistake in centuries and you are focusing on my fuckingnguage? Don¡¯t you fucking get it? <em>Billions</em> of us are going to fucking die because you are blinded by pride, greed and convenience. They are going to murder us¡­ by the <em>billions</em>. And this? (Director Axlea gestures at the tactical assessment) There is no mention of the <em>Sovngarde</em>, the <em>Alduin</em>, the <em>Akatosh</em>, or the <em>Talos</em>. Where are the carriers <em>Malice</em> and <em>Spite?</em> Only the carrier group <em>Hostility</em> is listed at half strength. You are missing some of their most dangerous capital ships!

    General Mulxor: You im to know your job give me the same courtesy. You should know that they are not present in any of the Republic systems or anywhere else. We assume that they were lost or are no longer spaceworthy. Your own reports concerning these vessels indicate that they were heavily damaged to the point of not being serviceable.

    Director Axlea: (sighing heavily) General, have you ever heard of the Terran Grand Drydocks? We have never found them and we know for a fact-

    General Mulxor: The Terran Grand Drydocks are a myth. If anything of that scale existed we would definitely know by now, if you were doing your job that is.

    Director Axlea: Ok, I don¡¯t know where they are. That being said I know for a fact that <em>they exist</em>. They exist and that is where all of those ships are currently being repaired. I also know that construction of at least one other carrier, the <em>Retribution</em>, was nned and underway and nothing like that has been found either. I¡¯m telling you that those ships are still out there! It¡¯s beyond stupid to-

    General Mulxor: I¡¯ve had enough and so has everyone else here. The attack on the Republic will take ce.

    Councilor Gz-Kal: Agreed. We are getting nowhere. Unless you have some actual intelligence, not some fairy tale, that drastically changes the strength of the Republic¡¯s actual forces then we are done here. I trust you will do your part?

    Director Axlea: (sighs) <em>Idiots¡­</em> Fuck. Ok. Yes. I will of course continue to do my job to the best of my ability regardless if I am actually listened to or not. I will support General Mulxor and the rest of the Defense Force as best as I can. Nothing will please me more than to admit I was wrong about this. Creators, I hope that I am wrong.

    General Mulxor: I know that you are wrong, Director. When can I expect your report concerning current locations and strength of our enemy and any actual opinion free input concerning our current n?

    Director Axlea: You will get it first thing in the morning, General. You realize that all of you are about to fuck the Federation hard don¡¯t you?

    Councilor Gz-Kal: We have all tired of your opinions regarding this Director. From now on please restrict your statements to facts and figures and leave policy to those above you.

    Director Axlea: Oh by all means, let the record show that I am in no way involved in this policy decision. This is all on you. If you will all excuse me, I have a very sessful first strike to help n¡­ Fucking idiots¡­

    Councilor Gz-Kal: Director, you are on notice. Continued disrespect or insubordination will threaten your position. The attack is approved and will proceed ording to the timelineid out by General Mulxor and the rest of the Federation Defense Force. This meeting is adjourned.

    Director Axlea: Fine. For the record if you find someone better suited to my job, give it to them. I was eligible for retirement over ten years ago. The only reason that I am still here is that I just happen to give a shit about the Federation so fuck all of you. However, you might just want to wait to fire me for a little bit so you can throw me to the beach once this all blows up in your faces. Might be the only way to save your asses once the torches and gaff hookse out.

    Councilor Gz-Kal: I said that the meeting was adjourned, Director.

    Transcriber¡¯s note: The meeting was adjourned however Director Axlea continued to say some very rude, unprofessional, offensive, and disrespectful things as she left. She also struck the door with one of her transportation bot¡¯s arms hard enough to damage it. This damage will be billed to Federation Intelligence.

    **Security Level 01, Compartmentalization Code JUSTFURY**

    Unauthorized ess punishable by highest penalties.

 Chapter A Zuushs Tale and Shelia Does Customer Service

    Chapter A Z''uush''s Tale and Shelia Does Customer Service

    ¡°Hey, Brainiac,¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said as they were packing up their gear.

    ¡°Yeah, Vibes?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been meaning to ask you. How did an upper caste college boy like you fall in with us killers?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a kind of fucked up story,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he was packing up his ssware, ¡°and one that I don¡¯t really like to talk about.¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon,¡± she said, ¡°Spill.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he sealed a box, ¡°I was attending T¡¯kalbrx Academy and-¡±

    ¡°Ooh! Fancy! You really were top-caste weren¡¯t you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, big house, gardens, got a grav-car for my graduation and everything¡­ The whole crawl¡­ Doesn¡¯t even feel real these days, y¡¯know.¡±

    ¡°Damn, you really did fall from grace didn¡¯t you?¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said as he was carefully cleaning a submachine gun before packing it up.

    ¡°I consider it more like I rose to grace,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he poured himself a cup of tea, ¡°I was one-hundred percent part of the problem, entitled, prejudiced, spoiled,pletely blind to what was really going on in our society. I was every bit what we despise. I was fucking awful,¡±

    He clicked his mandibles in difort.

    ¡°Gods, I was such a little shit.¡±

    ¡°I always pegged you for one of those bleeding-hearts on campus. You didn¡¯t participate in dressing up like us lower caste dregs and ¡®upying¡¯ the campus gardens and shit like that?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked with augh.

    ¡°No, Vibes, I didn¡¯t. I was aplete clean-wed golden-boy. I considered you dissidents as nothing but inferior dirt-crawlers who didn¡¯t know their ce,¡± he said with a ruefulugh.

    ¡°So what changed? What sent a soft-shelled upper crustie over to our side?¡±

    Bal¡¯sur¡¯k sighed and slumped a little.

    ¡°Ralsha¡­ Ralsha happened.¡±

    ¡°Ralsha? It was a girl?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said looking downward. ¡°It was a girl. Not just any girl. Ralsha was special. She worked in the Academy¡¯s canteen¡­ Creators, she was so beautiful...¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said with a click of disdain, ¡°Went slumming did we? Took those little spers for a little drag through the mud?¡±

    Bal¡¯sur¡¯k hissed and buzzed with such anger that Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal backed away. When an altered made those sounds you took it seriously.

    ¡°No!¡± he hissed, ¡°It wasn¡¯t like that! I loved her!¡± he spat then he took a deep breath. ¡°Sorry¡­ Sorry¡­ I know what it looks like but that wasn¡¯t it at all. She was bright and funny and smart¡­ oh she was so fucking smart¡­ She was smarter than any of those inbred glittershells that I went to ss with. Hell, she was smarter than I was.¡±

    ¡°Smarter than you? That¡¯s hard to believe. Sure that¡¯s not your spers talking?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely. She was without a doubt absolutely brilliant. That¡¯s why she got a job at the Academy. She just wanted ess. Even a bottom-tier like her could get a library card if they wanted. She couldn¡¯t set foot in the actual building, of course, but she could ess anything avable online. She read everything and I mean everything. I think she knew more than a lot of the professors,¡± he said with a far-away look in his eyes. ¡°That¡¯s how we met. I saw what was on her tablet one day as I was ogling her. It was some of the same stuff I was studying. I struck up a conversation only to find out she was way ahead of me,¡± heughed. ¡°One conversation led to two and two led to a dozen and before I knew it I was done. I fell hard¡­ Fuck,¡± he said. ¡°If only I hadn¡¯t looked at that fucking tablet¡­ If only I had kept just trying to peek around her apron¡­ What I wouldn¡¯t give to go back and change that day.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because of how everything turned out,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he looked into the distance, ¡°I should have never gotten involved with her. I was a stupid selfish kid who never considered for a moment that there would be real consequences for anything I did¡­ and there were consequences.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked.

    ¡°A golden-tiered boy from one of the best families in the system falling in love with ¡®dirt¡¯? I am a K. Yeah, one of those Ks,¡± he hissed, ¡°Of course we got caught. We tried to be careful but you can¡¯t avoid every single eye. We have a lot of them you know. One of her co-workers ratted her out and the academy promptly called my parents,¡± he said with an evil buzz. ¡°Creator¡­ I should have just yed it off as a dirt-drag. That¡¯s what I should have done but no. I told my parents that we were in love and that I was going to marry her.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ shit...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, oh shit,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said with a shake of his head. ¡°Oh fucking shit. My parentspletely lost their minds. I just caught some static and suffered the unimaginable fate of getting my grav-car taken away and my allowance cut¡­ At the time I thought the fucking world had ended. My selfish ignorant ass never bothered to think about what would happen to Ralsha...¡±

    ¡°Oh man, what did they do to her?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal quietly asked in horror.

    ¡°They arrested her.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°The insurgency had started in the outer system and the powers that be wereing down hard on anything they considered remotely seditious,¡± he snarled. ¡°Before the shooting started she had been a little vocal concerning worker¡¯s rights and had marched in a demonstration or two. Once things shifted from a demonstration to an actual insurgency she, like a whole bunch of other z¡¯uush, wisely stopped doing anything that could be construed as supporting the rebellion, at least publicly.¡±

    ¡°At least publicly?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, privately she still supported the cause but kept it to herself. She was the one who really opened my eyes to what was actually going on especially in the outer system where you guys were. I honestly didn¡¯t know what we were doing. Again, being stupid I actually made an ¡®anonymous¡¯ donation or two. Huge mistake,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said quietly as he started to box up electronicponents, ¡°Of course I wasn¡¯t the only one who made mistakes. She was just as much in love as I was and wasn¡¯t as secretive as she could have been either. Neither of us knew exactly how dangerous of a game we were ying. Anyway, she got arrested on charges of sedition and supporting the insurgency. The trial was a joke and was almost more about how she ¡®seduced and took advantage¡¯ of me and ¡®conned me into giving financial support to the rebels¡¯ as it was anything else. People that she thought were her friends came forward and happily betrayed her. Half of their testimony wasplete flyshit. It didn¡¯t matter though. She was convicted and sentenced to re-education.¡±

    ¡°Fuck, dude¡­ I¡¯m sorry,¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said as sheid an appendage on Bal¡¯sur¡¯k¡¯s shell.

    He shrugged it off and turned away.

    ¡°Of course¡­ of course none of this happened until I said that I was going to marry her. Stupid¡­ So fucking stupid¡­ I should have just taken her and run. I had the cash. We could have gone to the capital, or to the Republic¡­ We even talked about it but I¡­ I couldn¡¯t stand the thought of actually having to work for a living. I wanted to finish my degree¡­ Why didn¡¯t we just run the second we were caught? We could have made it¡­ Fuck.¡±

    ¡°Is that what did it. Did that make you turn?¡±

    ¡°No. Not right away. After they were done with the re-education they brought her right back to the Academy and put her back in her job,pletely brain-burned. I heard that it was so that she could serve as an example to remind the otherborers to mind their ce or something,¡± He buzzed quietly. ¡°I got to see her every day when I went to eat. I got to see what was left of her anyway¡­ every single fucking day...¡±

    ¡°Creators...¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said quietly.

    ¡°I tried to approach her but she would just flinch and back away inplete terror,¡± he said with a quiet hiss, ¡°They must have said something about me while they were¡­ fuck. It was my fault.¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k saidpletely without emotion.

    ¡°You ok? You aren¡¯t going to gray-out on us are you?¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said with concern.

    ¡°Nah,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said in a monotone, ¡°I¡¯m good. Of course, everybody fucking knew. I would get hissed at by the other workers, the higher-caste employees would be cold and nasty and the professors, Creators, I even had one of them assign my ss a paper on caste rtions and proper behavior while grinning right at me. I started getting the headaches within a month. The body pain started shortly thereafter. At first I didn¡¯t know what was going on. I almost went to the doctor. Thank the Creators that I didn¡¯t. Then, the anger started to set in¡­¡±

    ¡°Fuck, and you were alone,¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said, ¡°You were absolutely alone when it happened weren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,pletely on my own. There was nobody to guide me through it. At least I suffered that much,¡± he said with an emotionless voice and a shrug, ¡°It was less than I deserved but at least it was something. Anyway, a few dayster I aced a test. That¡¯s when I knew.¡±

    ¡°You acing a test was what let the great Brainiac know you were altering?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯kughed. At the sound of hisughter the rest of his crew breathed a sigh of relief. ¡°I wasn¡¯t the great and powerful Brainiac back then. I barely held onto a B average. I suddenly was acing everything. Studies that were agonizing suddenly became boring. The change doesn¡¯t just make us meaner and stronger. It makes us smarter. I have a few theories concerning alteration one of which is that our brains be very stic again, like when we were kids, and whatever we are doing when it kicks in is what we be good at. In my case it was science and engineering. I started studying everything and everything started clicking. The only problem was the rage. You guys remember. The rage¡­ You remember what it was like at first.¡±

    ¡°And there wasn¡¯t a guide, nobody to stun you and lock you in a room or dope you up¡­ " Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal gasped in horror, "Creators, how many Z¡¯uush did you kill?¡±

    ¡°Three,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said with a shrug. ¡°The first one was a campus security guard. He always had lusted after Ralsha. After the¡­ re-education¡­ he saw his chance and took it... and her. One night I couldn¡¯t sleep so I was walking around campus in the middle of the night and he walked by. It would have been ok but he just had to run his fucking mouth. He turned to me and said, ¡®I can see what you saw in her. She is a great sp.¡¯ That was it. I saw gray. I ripped up one of the concrete pavers and smashed his fucking head in.¡±

    ¡°And, you were off.¡±

    ¡°Yep, at a full sprint. It felt great! You remember your first kill... It was like all the pain and rage were gone and I felt normal again. I was sitting on the hill next to the library watching all of the shing lights around the scene when I realized that I needed to get gone. I was fully altered and even my preciousst name wouldn¡¯t save me now. It was pretty clear where I needed to go and what I needed to do.¡±

    ¡°So what happened next?¡±

    ¡°Well, my family had aunch, of course,¡± heughed, ¡°It wasn¡¯t FTL but it had a decent life support system and good eleration so my next move was to head home...¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ shit...¡± she gasped.

    ¡°Yeah, you know where this is going... One down and two to go,¡± heughed ruefully. "I called a cab. It was around sunrise when I finally got home. My parents were in the kitchen having breakfast when I walked in. As soon as Iid eyes on them I knew that they had a lot more to do with what happened to Ralsha than I thought. I don¡¯t know how I knew but suddenly it just clicked. I just croaked out her name and started towards my father. He actually was stupid enough to say, ¡®It was for your own good¡¯. Next thing I know I was smashing his head into the kitchen table over and over and over¡­¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said calmly, ¡°And my mother, she just wouldn¡¯t stop screaming¡­ right in my ears¡­ screaming¡­ she just wouldn¡¯t stop screaming...¡±

    ¡°Oh... <em>fuck</em>,¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said in horror.

    ¡°And she became number three,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k saidpletely without emotion, ¡°I threw her against a wall, grabbed a kitchen knife and just kept stabbing her until she finally stopped with the fucking screaming. Thank the creators my sister had started college that semester or she would have probably wound up dead too. Anyway I then took a shower, packed, loaded up some food and water, disabled theunch¡¯s transceiver and remote kill switch, and zed a trail for the outer system. At full eleration it took less than a week. I had a good four days head start before someone finally called the police to check on my parents so by the time they found me I was home free. The rest is history. The old me was gone and Brainiac was ready to set up shop.¡±

    ¡°So what happened to Ralsha?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked.

    ¡°Oh, she is doing ok. Well about as best as she can be doing,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said with a shrug, ¡°She has met a nice guy who treats her well and I arranged for both of them to move here to the capital. She will never again be the Ralsha that I knew but she¡¯sfortable, safe, and at peace. About the best that I can hope for.¡±

    ¡°And what about you?¡±

    ¡°Me?¡± he asked with a chuckle, ¡°I¡¯m exactly where I want to be doing exactly what I want to do. This is me now. As long as the credits keep flowing and the bodies keep falling I¡¯m good.¡±

    Morgana Farstan walked in and looked around in confusion.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± she asked.

    ¡°We are pulling up stakes,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha replied. ¡°We got a better offer.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t do this, we have a deal.¡±

    ¡°No, we had a deal. We had a deal and now that deal is over. You paid us by the job and we did the jobs you paid for. Now, we are doing another job. It¡¯s how the world works.¡±

    ¡°You are going to regret crossing me, skittles,¡± Morgana said angrily.

    ¡°Really?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked as she idly pointed her jackhammer Morgana¡¯s way. ¡°You sure ¡®bout that?¡±

    Morgana just fell silent and stormed off.

    ¡°We should probably kill her.¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said after she left.

    ¡°Nah, walking out on a client is one thing. Killing them is another,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said as he boxed up thest of their stuff, ¡°Let She or the Red-Teeth take care of her. Crazy as she is she ain¡¯t gonnast long and the mess she kicks up will cover our tracks nicely. We let She know what was what. That¡¯s all we have to do. The rest will work itself out without us having to twitch a pincer.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Salz¡¯rash said as he was carrying hisputer gear to the van, ¡°And we got this sweet gig out of the deal as well!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see how exactly how sweet this job is once the shooting stops. She ain¡¯t dropping that many creds just for ratting out some bitch.¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said as he sealed thest box, ¡°Ok, Z¡¯uush, let¡¯s get this show on the road.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Cyrus, baby, you need to calm down. You are going to give yourself a stroke,¡± She said to the holo-screen in front of her.

    ¡°Some bitch shoots up my men!? Fucks with my business and you want me to calm down!?¡±

    ¡°Cyrus, sweetheart,¡± She said as she opened a beer, ¡°we aren¡¯t in the hugs and cuddles business. Things are going to get a bit bloody every now and then. Try to keep some perspective here. You got hit. These things happen.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t happen to the fucking Red-Teeth!¡±

    ¡°Well apparently they do. So exactly why are you bugging me about this shit? I thought you assholes could take care of yourselves.¡±

    ¡°Because she wants you, not us.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, so you¡¯ve said. Still don¡¯t see how it¡¯s my problem though.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s going to be your fucking problem if you don¡¯t make this right, bitch!¡±

    ¡°You need to remember who the fuck you are talking to, Cyrus. Do you really want to go there with me?¡± She said as she sipped her beer and smiled malevolently.

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Thought so. Listen, dude, I like you. Unlike a lot of porkie trash you are honest about what you are and we¡¯ve done a lot of business together. It would be a bit inconvenient to rece you so I¡¯m going to do you a solid. I know who this bitch is and I know who she hired. Her name is Morgana Farstan and I¡¯ve already hired her kill squad out from under her. I¡¯m sending you all the info I have. She is Fed Intel but from the looks of things she probably isn¡¯t working for them anymore¡­ probably. Oh, and just in case you are thinking about taking things out on the Z¡¯uush in the capital, don¡¯t. You have only dealt with five of them so far. Run around and act stupid and you will be dealing with five thousand not to mention that I am considering introducing a few of them to you as potential new suppliers. Don¡¯t go throwing away millions because you are having a tantrum.¡±

    ¡°This still don¡¯t make it right. <em>You owe me</em>.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not your mommy, Cyrus. Don¡¯te crying like a little bitch when someone bloodies your nose. <em>You</em> have a problem with her. <em>You</em> deal with her. If you can¡¯t then there are plenty of other scumbags that I can set up with those new suppliers I was talking about. Jesus, Cyrus, I am really disappointed in you. Put yourself in my shoes. What would you think if I called you pissing myself and crying because somebody took a few shots at me and begged you toe running to bail my sorry ass out?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, think about that,¡± She said with a smirk, ¡°As a professional courtesy I will keep this moment of weakness to myself but damn, Cyrus, get your shit together.¡±

    ¡°...<strong>That bitch is dead!</strong>¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the spirit! Go get her, tiger!¡±

    And with that She terminated the call and shook her head.

    ¡°Someone needs some testosterone pills or something...¡± she said to her amused crew as she polished off her beer. She then turned to T¡¯sunk¡¯al. ¡°These guys we just hired away from that Morgana bitch? They as good as they say that they are?¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re better. I either know them or know of them. All of them are exactly what we are looking for,¡± he said as he grabbed a cup of instant noodles from the pantry.

    ¡°Excellent. We are almost ready then,¡± She said with a smile.

 Chapter Maybe Video Games are a Problem After All

    Chapter Maybe Video Games are a Problem After All

    I look at the three different outfits that I brought with me and I just can¡¯t decide which one is the best for today darn it! It¡¯s a big day after all! I finally pooping made it to flushing Terra! Woo! I wasn¡¯t sure I would make it but I did!

    I still can¡¯t decide. I guess I will start with some essories. I open my box of bows and, yes. I think thevender one with the teal sparkles will work! That means that I will go with thevender dress with the flowers.

    There! The bow looks pooping perfect! Now just a little sprinkle of glitter on my face¡­ not too much. I don¡¯t want to look slutty or anything!

    I look in the mirror in my little cabin and well¡­ that¡¯s going to have to do it. I pack up my stuff and take a deep breath and step outside.

    All the guys are there waiting for me. They looked pretty scary when I first hopped onto their freighter but it turns out that they are all great guys! I sure was lucky after those other jerkfaces. I had to zap them! Bet they weren¡¯t expecting that!

    ¡°I guess this is it, huh?¡± Borch says and gave me a big furry hug. He gives the absolute best hugs! I¡¯m going to miss him. I¡¯m going to miss them all actually.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I say trying not to tear up (Scum! I¡¯m really really really going to miss these guys!)

    ¡°Too bad you can¡¯t stay on with us. You make a good deckhand. We¡¯d keep you except for¡­ you know...¡± Captain Hollister says as he gave me a big squeezy human hug. Humans are every bit as strong as they look! ¡°We got you something for you. Hope it doesn¡¯te in handy.¡±

    He then gives me a little gift wrapped box covered in glitter.

    ¡°You guys¡­¡± I say starting to choke up a little, ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that!¡± I open the box and Holy Waters of the Eternal Pond! It¡¯s a pistol! A real live Terran pistol! It¡¯s so tiny!

    ¡°This is a .32 ACP. You won¡¯t be knocking over any banks with it but it¡¯s light andfortable enough to keep on you all the time. Just a little something to remember us by. It¡¯s a double action only semi-automatic. I know you already know how to use it.¡±

    Oh scum! This is too much! I start to cry. I didn¡¯t want to do that!

    ¡°Oh it¡¯s perfect!¡± I gush and I mean it too! It¡¯s just perfect! It fits my pads perfectly! It¡¯s perfect!

    ¡°We had to pay extra for the pink grips!¡± Clyde says as he grins underneath his beard. I throw my arms around him and give him a huge hug. ¡°I¡¯m going to miss you little frog.¡± he says as he hugs me back. ¡°Hope you have a great life here.¡±

    ¡°Oh I know I will!¡± I say with a little squeak. I squeaked. Pond scum! I hate it when I squeak.

    ¡°Well, this ain¡¯t going to get any easier,¡± Captain Hollister said, ¡°C¡¯mon. Let me help you with your bags.¡±

    I look back at the guys and wave trying not to tear up too much. They have been just great. I couldn¡¯t ask for a better crew to crash with. Well, I guess there is no sense in lingering. Terra is just on the other side of the cargo doors!

    ***

    Agent Klostn was walking along the docking bays with his tablet and George, his K-9. The bloodhound trotted alongside wagging his tail. He had a powerful scanner, of course, but ol¡¯ George would asionally pick up on something that he missed. Unlike dogs trained to find chemical and biological weapons, or other contraband (not that there is a whole lot illegal on Terra), George was trained to find the ¡°weird stuff¡±. Ol¡¯ George got a workout most days.

    Agent Klostn looked at his tablet.

    ¡°Hmm. We have Hollister in bay six. Let¡¯s start there George,¡± he said as George looked up at him happily. Klostn looked down at the dog and smiled. ¡°Come on, there is no telling what that bastard has this time. Bet you find something weird! Let¡¯s go!¡± George, sensing uing fun, started bouncing about. Hollister was a ¡°porkie¡± but you wouldn¡¯t know it. He was good people¡­ even if he did sometimes try to sneak things past customs. Then again, that did make him seem at least a little Terran.

    He and George entered docking bay six and there was Hollister and standing right beside him was¡­ something. She (?) was wearing a long old fashioned looking dress and a huge sparkly bow on the top of her head and had aicallyrge handbag. She was also was clutching a single suitcase that actually looked like an old fashioned suitcase.

    George immediately took an interest. A new species, definitely something ¡°weird¡±.

    ¡°Mornin¡¯ Hollister,¡± Agent Klostn said cocking an eyestalk at the strange alien. What do you have for me today?

    ¡°Hey, Agent Klostn. Great to see you again,¡± Captain Hollister said with a smile. ¡°Just some assorted consumer goods for the discriminating Federation expat and one passenger. This is Sheloran, a th, and she hitched a ride with us and is looking to enter the Republic.¡±

    ¡°Hi,¡± The little th said in a timid voice. ¡°Nice to meet you. May the Waters grant you good fortune,¡± she said with a nervous looking smile.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Agent Kolstn said wiggling his eyestalks in the Kalesh equivalent of a smile and then turned his attention to Hollister, ¡°No unregistered produce, potentially invasive lifeforms, or exotic pets this time?¡±

    ¡°Hell no! Not after the hurting you bastards put on mest time. I damn near had to hock my ship!¡± Hollisterughed, ¡°I thought you Terrans were supposed to beid back.¡±

    ¡°Well we are¡­ except when we aren¡¯t,¡± Agent Kolstnughed and cocked an eyestalk towards Sheloran, ¡°So what has a nice person like you running with these criminals?¡±

    ¡°Well-¡± Sheloran started when Captain Hollister cut her off.

    ¡°Oh she was a little light on the funds so we let her work for her passage. She can wax the hell out of a deck te,¡± Hollister said while shooting Sheloran a meaningful nce.

    ¡°Hmm...¡± Agent Kolstn said with a suspicious flick of his eyestalks as he watched Sheloran fidget nervously, ¡°I see¡­ Well, let¡¯s get you processed. Come this way, please. Hollister, you are going to have to wait.¡±

    Agent Kolstn led Sheloran off to an interview room and sat behind a desk.

    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s get you set up,¡± Agent Kolstn said with a wiggle of his eyestalks, ¡°We like to interview people who arrive through ¡®non standard¡¯ methods a little more closely but this shouldn¡¯t take too long. Just rx and answer the questions truthfully and to the best of your abilities.¡±

    ¡°Um, ok.¡± Sheloran smiled nervously.

    ¡°Normally people who arrive in the back of freighters aren¡¯t just visiting. Am I correct in assuming that you wish to take up residence in the Republic, perhaps be a citizen?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes, please.¡± Sheloran said with a big smile, ¡°I¡¯ve always wanted toe here!¡±

    ¡°Good call. The Republic is a fantastic ce to live and work. We definitely need more residents. The more the merrier.¡± Agent Kolstn said as he started to type on hisputer. ¡°Are you interested in citizenship or do you just want permanent resident status?¡±

    ¡°I would like to be a citizen, please.¡±

    ¡°Another good call. Now first off, do you have any weapons on you? If so, please put them on the desk.¡±

    Sheloran pulled out her skull-splitter from her handbag, a bright purple stic pistol decorated with flower petals in clear resin that had a scorched and melted barrel from her waistband, and her brand new .32. Agent Kolstn¡¯s eyes widened in surprise. He definitely did not expect the splitter¡­ or the pistol¡­ or what was definitely a zapper, an illegally modified Federation stunner.

    ¡°One second,¡± he said pleasantly as he picked up a telephone. After a brief pause he said, ¡°Chief, I think you want toe down here. I think we have a good one."

    His suspicions were confirmed as Sheloran shifted ufortably in her seat. He knew a ¡°good one¡± when he saw one. In his job he had gotten good at spotting the interesting cases and he bet this was going to be good.

    ¡°Is¡­ Is everything ok?¡± Sheloran asked nervously.

    ¡°Oh of course,¡± he fibbed. ¡°Nothing to worry about, just a formality.¡±

    It didn¡¯t take long for the Chief to arrive, his eyestalks glittering with anticipation. When Klostn said he had a ¡°good one¡± he usually had a ¡°good one¡±. He took one look at the little th and then at the table and he just couldn¡¯t <em>wait</em> for this one.

    ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Chief Zareln. I run this little patch of insanity. And you are?¡±

    ¡°Sh¡­ Sheloran. My name is Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°And what species are you exactly? I haven¡¯t seen one of youe through here.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m a th,¡± she said nervously as she fidgeted.

    ¡°Interesting. I always like meeting a new species,¡± he said as he entered ¡°th¡± on his tablet. ¡°Wow, you are certainly a long way from home aren¡¯t you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡± she said in a small quiet voice.

    ¡°So what brings you to the Republic?¡± The chief asked.

    ¡°I want toe and live here.¡±

    ¡°Any reason why?¡±

    ¡°I always wanted toe to the Terran Republic,¡± she said in a tiny little voice as she looked away.

    ¡°Mmm hmm. Any reason in particr that encouraged you to leave your home, a definitely non-th move, travel across the known gxy in the back of a freighter full of suspicious characters, and show up here, today?¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t suspicious characters,¡± Sheloran said regaining her confidence, ¡°They are actually really nice guys.¡±

    ¡°And you are actually really deflecting my question,¡± the chief said almost shaking with anticipation. This was about to get really good. ¡°Any reason like, oh I don¡¯t know¡­ Something like being a fugitive?¡±

    Sheloran just fell silent and looked down.

    ¡°Ah,¡± the chief said as Kolstn started typing again, ¡°A fugitive from justice, or what passes for Federation justice anyway.¡± The chief looked at her with sympathetic eyes. ¡°It¡¯s ok. We get a lot of Federation fugitives and it doesn¡¯t necessarily mean you can¡¯te in but you need to tell us the truth from now on, ok?¡±

    Sheloran just nodded. The chief pulled out a scanner and passed it over the splitter and let out a low whistle.

    ¡°This skull-splitter is the real deal, human bone and everything. How in zes did you get this?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a really funny story,¡± Sheloran said perking up a bit. ¡°I worked in a bank back home and it got robbed by real live Terrans! One of them was a Martian and mailed it to meter on, along with a copy of Federation Fun Time!¡±

    ¡°A bank robbery, in this day and age?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! They cleaned out our local buffer and then essed the Federation banking system and stole millions!¡±

    ¡°Well, learn something new every day. I didn¡¯t know you could do that,¡± the chief said his eyes sparkling with joy. <em>And we¡¯re off!</em> he thought to himself. ¡°And the zapper?"

    ¡°Oh I made it!¡± Sheloran said with pride.

    ¡°A bank teller made a zapper?¡±

    ¡°Yep! Ound Bound has a fantastic crafting system. I just did it like I did in the game!¡±

    ¡°You learned how to modify a stunner into a potentially lethal weapon from aputer game?¡± the chief asked incredulously.

    ¡°You betcha!¡± Sheloran said with pride and then added sheepishly, ¡°I really like Terranputer games.¡± She then brightened back up. ¡°I guess I don¡¯t have to keep that a secret now,¡± she said happily, ¡°I absolutely love Terranputer games!¡±

    Kolstn continued to type as he shook his ¡°head¡±. This was new.

    ¡°I see...¡± the chief said, ¡°I didn¡¯t peg you for aputer gamer.¡±

    He then realized that his son yed Ound Bound. Maybe he should look into that.

    ¡°Oh I am! I y all the ones I can get my hands on though that was hard back home.¡±

    ¡°I bet,¡± the chief said with a smile, ¡°though I am willing to bet you aren¡¯t on the run over aputer game.¡±

    ¡°Actually I am,¡± Sheloran said with a bit of annoyance. ¡°Well, that¡¯s what started the whole thing.¡±

    ¡°Ok, I sense a story here. Just start from the beginning,¡± the chief said with an expectant smile as Kolstn continued to type.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Sheloran said warming to the tale, ¡°It all started with that bank robbery. I told you that one of the robbers, probably a Martian ¡®cause she had a splitter. It was a really nice one too! Well she found out thanks to my dummy of a friend (I love her but sometimes I swear¡­) that we knew that it was a skull-splitter and we yed games so after they left she sent me the splitter and a cracked copy of Federation Fun Time¡­ With Species Master!¡±

    ¡°Federation Fun Time?¡±

    ¡°Oh it¡¯s a bad one,¡± Agent Kolstn interjected, ¡°It has a full five skull rating.¡±

    ¡°Five skull rating?¡± the chief asked,pletely confused.

    ¡°That means it is one of the worst, most violent, mostpletely messed-up games ever written. I yed it and it¡¯s pretty nasty. I returned it. It was just too much.¡±

    The chief looked over at Sheloran. ¡°And you yed it?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes! It¡¯s the best! And with Species Master I can y it as my own species!¡± Sheloran gushed. ¡°They even say that the Species Master DLC was a move by Republic PSYOPS to encourage violence in the Federation!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t say...¡± the chief said as he idly moved the weapons out of Sheloran¡¯s reach.

    ¡°Ok, you got a copy of Federation Fun Time. Then what?¡±

    ¡°Well, I traded copies for stuff, movies, other games, realm coins, you name it. Everybody wanted it!¡±

    ¡°Realm coins?¡±

    ¡°Oh those are an in game currency for Blue Pond, a th online game. You aren¡¯t supposed to buy or trade outside the game for them but everybody does it.¡±

    ¡°Ok, so we have software piracy. Not usually something to put someone on the run, unless your system is really strict or something.¡±

    ¡°Nah, they were so clueless that they really didn¡¯t know how much of it was going on¡­ at least at first...¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Ok. Here¡¯s what happened next,¡± Sheloran said getting angry, ¡°Some basement dwelling... <em>butthole</em>... went on a shooting spree and killed like a dozen th. Never mind that he had real problems, should have been in jail except his parents had some pull, and somehow got his grubby little pads on a ss three ster¡­ Oh that didn¡¯t matter. They found a copy of Federation Fun Time on hisputer and everybody lost their pooping minds! He had a pooping game so that was the problem.¡±

    Sheloran huffed in annoyance.

    ¡°So anyway like I said everybody lost their pooping minds and were saying that the game was the reason he did it. Of course the whole Republic PSYOPS thing came up and one mention of you flushing guys and it was flushing pitchfork time. They started tracing the game back and actually started arresting people. They even got pooping Federation Intelligence involved and the poo-heads actually showed up. Everyone was looking for the <em>evil monster</em> who brought such horror to their perfect little world¡­ That would be me by the way.¡± Sheloran ranted. ¡°They were even saying that they when they caught the person responsible (that was me) that I was going to be charged as an essory for all of those deaths and they were even talking charging me with gross perversion and treason and poop.¡±

    ¡°So, software piracy and now essory to multiple thcides, treason, and ¡®gross perversion¡¯?¡± the chief asked absolutely overjoyed. Oh this was getting good. Sheloran was so mad she didn¡¯t even notice Agent Klostn typing up a storm.

    ¡°They were talking about locking up the ¡®treasonous pervert¡¯ for life¡­ Flush that! I didn¡¯t want to spend the rest of my flushing life in a flushing prison. It was time to get the poop out of there!¡±

    ¡°Makes perfect sense. I would hit the road too. So how did you escape? If Fed Intel was on the case they would find you pretty quick.¡±

    ¡°I ran pretty quick,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°I figured that booking passage on a passenger liner wouldn¡¯t be a good idea, like in Grand Theft Vehicle? If you get a level two wanted rating or higher you can¡¯t use a liner to escape a system. You have to go underground and bribe a freighter captain.¡±

    ¡°So you based your escape on ¡®Grand Theft Vehicle¡¯?¡± The chief just squinted his eyestalks in amazement.

    ¡°Uh-huh,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°And it worked too!¡±

    ¡°I see¡­ Anything else? This story doesn¡¯t sound like it¡¯s over.¡±

    ¡°Well no,¡± Sheloran responded. ¡°Well I didn¡¯t have any pooping cash. I didn¡¯t have enough for a liner and I certainly didn¡¯t have enough to bribe anyone...¡±

    ¡°Here ites...¡± the chief said to Klostn. ¡°So what did you do?¡±

    ¡°Well, I had just enough for a stunner...¡±

    The chief was almost holding his breath in excitement.

    ¡°That one?¡± He asked pointing at the bright purple zapper.

    ¡°Well, yeah, but I hadn¡¯t hacked it yet. It was just a stunner.¡±

    ¡°And what did you do with the stunner?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ I robbed a bank.¡±

    ¡°<em>You</em> robbed a bank...¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡± Sheloran said sheepishly. ¡°I kinda had to. It was the only way I knew how to get the pooping creds. I had to somehow get across the entire pooping Federation and that wasn¡¯t going to be cheap.¡±

    ¡°No I suppose not...¡± the chief said almost giggling. ¡°So how did you do it?¡±

    ¡°Well, I worked in a bank so I knew how things worked,¡± Sheloran said, ¡°So I picked a nice big branch in a city near a train stop, put on this huge bo that hid my face, and just walked in and asked to withdraw some creds from my ount.¡±

    ¡°Then what?¡±

    ¡°Once the teller entered the password and fingerprint¡­ pew! I hit her with the stunner. Then I spun around and pew pew! I got the security guard and then pew! The bank manager got one. I then jumped over the counter and downloaded the entire pooping buffer and got the poop out of there! Then I took off the big-ass bo I was wearing and just walked to the train.¡±

    ¡°Ok¡­ so now we have armed robbery and an actual bank robbery!¡± the chief eximed absolutely beside himself with delight. ¡°I¡¯m almost afraid to ask. How exactly did a bank teller pull off rapid fire urate shots like that? I assume the guard had a stunner. You had to hit the teller and then hit the guard before he could get a shot off.¡±

    ¡°I had a friend in Slolmothu, it was the nearest city to where I lived, who had a pooping awesome VR rig. Oh scum, it was nice! We would all hang out and game all weekend, especially when I showed up with Federation Fun Time!¡±

    ¡°Of course. So how much did you grab?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Two hundred and thirty-eight thousand credits...¡±

    ¡°What?!?!? Damn! Armed robbery, bank robbery, and armed level one grand theft¡­ When you decided to stray from the straight and narrow you didn¡¯t fuck around did you.¡±

    ¡°I had to get gone! I figured that they were going to lock me up for life anyway so why not pooping do it right? It¡¯s not like I killed anyone...¡±

    ¡°Yet,¡± the chief said as Sheloran fidgeted once again. He pointed to the zapper. ¡°It looks like that got some use. You aren¡¯t going to insult my intelligence and tell me it was target practice are you?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Well?¡±

    Sheloran sighed heavily. ¡°Ok it went like this. I was having to hang out in some really shady ces and I figured that a little stunner wouldn¡¯t cut it. Any armor at all would stop the little pooper I had so I hacked it and jacked up the output and removed the stun modtor and reced it with a charge emitter from a mini-cooker and presto, one zapper.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you could do it that way. Huh, learn something new every day. And you learned this from what¡­ that game?¡±

    ¡°Ound Bound,¡± Sheloran said helpfully.

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Well the first jump went ok. I found some Threen who had a little ship who were happy to get me a few systems over and boy was that a relief!¡± she said, ¡°And then, problem. There were these two humans who said that they had a freighter and were heading to the Republic and they wanted a pile of credits but I had them, obviously.¡± Sheloranughed nervously. ¡°Anyway I was supposed to meet them in a docking bay that night. When I got there they were standing outside and they started throwing off some bad ripples. They started asking all sorts of questions, who I was, why did I want to go to the Republic, how much money I had on me, that sort of thing. Thing is it was dark but I could see that there was nothing in the flushing docking bay. These big anime eyes aren¡¯t just for flushing show, y¡¯know,¡± she fidgeted as she spoke, ¡°Anyway, I told them that I changed my mind and one of them made a grab for me and the other went for something.¡±

    ¡°And pew, pew?¡± the captain asked.

    ¡°Pew, pew. They both went down hard and I got the poop out of there!¡±

    ¡°Good call¡­ So now we have software piracy, essory to multiple thcides, treason, gross perversion, armed robbery, bank robbery, armed level one theft, and two possible homicides¡­ Shit, girl...¡±

    Agent Klostn¡¯s keyboard was just merrily ttering away.

    ¡°After that everybody was really nice to me,¡± Sheloran said as she fidgeted, ¡°People offered to buy me drinks, started introducing me to people, actually helping me where before they wouldn¡¯t even talk to me.¡±

    ¡°Makes perfect sense. Word travels fast in pits like those. After you threw down some electrons you were ¡®legit¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, just like in Grand Theft Vehicle! Anyway, that¡¯s when Captain Hollister walked up and offered me a ride. He seemed ok so I climbed aboard and that¡¯s how I got here.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ that¡¯s a whole lot of crimes. I mean we usually don¡¯t sweat the small stuff but that isn¡¯t small stuff. That¡¯s big stuff.¡±

    Sheloran looked like she was about to cry.

    ¡°But¡­ Hell, it was pure Federation bullshit that got the ball rolling and frying a couple of porkies is actually a plus. Wee to the Republic!¡±

    ¡°Wee!¡± Agent Klostn said as he started a new form.

    ¡°Really?¡± Sheloran asked in a squeaky voice.

    ¡°Really. Sounds like you will make one hell of a citizen,¡± the chief said with a wiggle of his eyestalks, ¡°Just don¡¯t go robbing any banks, ok?¡±

    ¡°Deal!¡± Sheloran squeaked.

 Chapter Morgana Makes her Move

    Chapter Morgana Makes her Move

    ¡°Ambassador, this is inadvisable,¡± Toby said to Ambassador Jon Wintersmith as he drove their armored grav limo along the capital streets. ¡°This meeting could easily be held at our embassy.¡±

    ¡°And look like a scared little bitch? Not happening,¡± Jon said as he reviewed his notes in the back seat. ¡°We don¡¯t even know if it¡¯s a legitimate threat. For all we know Axlea is just rattling our cage.¡±

    ¡°Unlikely, ambassador.¡±

    ¡°True,¡± Jon said as he patted his sidearm. ¡°Regardless, we must carry on with business as usual. We need to make an appearance every now and then just to show we don¡¯t give a shit. Last thing we want to do is hole up like a bunch of pussies. Besides, this meeting could be quite profitable.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s popcorn, sir. We are exposing ourselves over popcorn.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not <em>popcorn.</em> It''s a trade deal with the Xvli. They seem to almost be worth a fuck, but they have the same view of cowards as we do,¡± Jon said as he scrolled over to a new page, ¡°and I know for a fact that Skippy somehow knows we have a bulls-eye on our backs. We don¡¯t want to look like porkies now do we?¡± he said with a grin. ¡°Besides, I haven¡¯t met their ambassador yet and this visit to their embassy would be a good opportunity to schmooze a little, pop up some popcorn, maybe build up a little goodwill.¡±

    ¡°Goodwill, sir? Are you feeling-¡±

    <strong>THOOOM</strong>

    The limo rocked from a massive impact that wiped out the shields and blew a hole through the hood of the vehicle. Toby expertly spun the damaged vehicle perpendicr to the line of fire as the limo, belching mes and smoke, lost power and slid to a halt. He grabbed a Juon Harbinger assault rifle from a rack overhead and lept from the vehicle. Jon quickly punched the driver¡¯s partition and a panel fell away revealing an AK-47 and an ammo pouch. He grabbed them and dove from the vehicle just as a second massive impact nearly caved in the armored window next to him.

    ¡°It seems that you have an admirer, sir,¡± Toby said as he mped a sensor to one of his eyestalks and started scanning rooftops and windows.

    ¡°Toby, what is <em>that</em>?¡± Jon said as he pointed at the Harbinger.

    ¡°Is now really the time, sir?¡±

    ¡°I guess not,¡± Jonughed as he leaned against the wrecked limo. ¡°See any-¡±

    <strong>THOOOM</strong>

    The entire limo was knocked several inches backward and spun a few degrees from the blow. Jon was thrown away from it and onto his face.

    ¡°FUCK!¡± He yelled as he held the small of his back. ¡°Shit, we havepany!¡± He yelled as humans armed with military ster rifles started to spill out of two alleyways behind them.

    Jon immediately opened fire in controlled bursts hitting several attackers before they could even get out of the alleys. All of the victims immediately fell to the ground screaming and violently convulsing, blood starting to seep from their eyes and ears. Toby spun around momentster as ster bolts started to be hastily fired in their direction and hit three more with carefully ced shots. Those unfortunate souls joined theirrades violently thrashing around on the pavement.

    ¡°RED-TIPS! THEY HAVE FUCKIN-¡± a warning cry was cut short as another round hit home and another victim started seizing on the ground. The survivors tried to flee in terror and were cut down. Nobody escaped.

    <strong>THOOOOM</strong>

    Pieces of the limo flew into the air as another massive impact shook the area.

    ¡°Just like old times, eh Toby?¡± Jon said as he mmed another magazine home and chambered a round.

    ¡°Unfortunately. At least they are slower than the bu-¡±

    <strong>THOOOOM</strong>

    The trunk popped open as another round struck the side of the limo directly in front of Jon.

    ¡°Did you get eyes on our friend?¡± Jon asked peeping over the side of the wreck.

    ¡°No, sir and for fuck¡¯s sake GET DOWN!¡± Toby yelled as he snaked the sensor d eyestalk over the hood.

    <strong>THOOOOM</strong>

    The next round hit the hood ripping off Toby¡¯s eyestalk. Toby fell over backwards onto the pavement.

    ¡°Shit,¡± Toby said calmly. ¡°That was our only sensor.¡±

    ¡°Never mind the fucking sensor! Are you ok?¡± Jon asked as he raised his rifle trying to spot the gunner.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine. It wasn¡¯t my shooting eye,¡± Toby said as he pulled out an auto injector and jabbed it his destroyed eyestalk. A mix of drugs and nano-bots quickly stopped the bleeding and inhibited shock. He looked up at Jon in rm as he rose above the wreck searching buildings along the line of fire. ¡°<em>Sir!</em>¡±

    ***

    Morgana Farstan looked at the scene through the scope of the gauss anti-tank rifle she had set up on the roof of a nearby building. She frowned. Those guys she hired were absolutely useless. <em>Best guns in the Federation my ass</em> she thought to herself as she watched their death throes. It was supposed to go smooth. She knocks out the limo then they sweep in behind and wipe them out. ¡°So much for the bestid ns of mice and men,¡± she chuckled while redirecting her attention to what was left of the vehicle. If nothing else she could just hammer it to pieces but she had to be quick. It wouldn¡¯t be too long before the cops showed up.

    At least she managed to hit that little shit of a receptionist.

    ¡°Oh, hello there...¡± she whispered to herself as she saw a little sh of Terran khaki starting to emerge from the rear of the limo.

    ***

    ¡°SIR! GET DOW-¡±

    <strong>THOOOM</strong>

    The round hit the limo in the area around Jon¡¯s right arm blowing it off almost at the shoulder and throwing him down onto the street.

    ¡°FUCK!¡± Jon yelled as he ripped an auto-injector from his jacket pocket, ¡°THAT WAS MY FAPPING HAND YOU FUCKER!¡±

    ¡°Sir, may I take this opportunity to call you one stupid fuck?¡±

    ¡°You may, gunny. Feel free.¡± Jon said as he fought back a wave of nausea which quickly subsided as the drugs kicked in.

    <strong>THOOOM</strong>

    The vehicle slid back another foot from the impact and one of the doors bulged outward between Jon and Toby.

    ¡°Any tactical genius would be deeply appreciated, sir.¡±

    ¡°Well, I only have one idea,¡± Jon said as he took an inhaler out of his pocket.

    ¡°Sir, no.¡± Toby said as he took one look at the stylized skull and shield on the cylinder.

    ¡°The sniper wants me. Let¡¯s let them have me,¡± Jon said as he ripped the cover off of the inhaler with his teeth. ¡°I am going to make a run for that alley over there. Each time they actually hit us it took them around two and a half seconds to line up the shot, more or less, and I¡¯ll be <em>moving</em>.¡± he said as he grinned shaking the inhaler. ¡°They will track me and try to take a shot. While they are doing that you take that Juon crap you are carrying and hit them first.¡±

    ¡°Sir, you are going to take a hit of berserker, sprint out into the line of fire, and bet your life on me being able to spot and hit them in two and a half seconds?¡±

    <strong>THOOOM</strong>

    That one went clean through both armored windows directly above Jon¡¯s head.

    He grinned.

    ¡°Yep.¡±

    Toby just gripped his rifle. ¡°Ready, sir.¡± Toby wracked his brain trying to remember theyouts of all of the buildings and trying to think where he would set up if the roles were reversed. Jon looked back at him and put the inhaler in his mouth.

    ¡°We go after the next impact,¡± Jon said as he triggered the inhaler and breathed deep, his pupils turning into pin-pricks, ¡°OH HELL YEAH!¡± he screamed.

    <strong>THOOOM</strong>

    Jon took off at an insane pace and Toby popped up. Toby saw a sh of radiation and movement through the Harbinger¡¯s enhanced optics and opened fire.

    ***

    Just as Morgana fired she saw that asshole Jon making a run for it. <em>Just like a Terran coward</em> she thought as she tried to quickly move the heavy weapon to line up a shot. He moved into her sights.

    ¡°Gotcha,¡± she hissed but before she could pull the trigger multiple rounds impacted all around her position. She reflexively jerked causing the shot to miss sting a crater into the pavement behind her target. Jon fell as chunks of concrete tore into his legs and back but before she could line up another shot she recoiled in horror. From every bullet hole a faintly glowing red gel was flowing out and oozing slowly towards her. She dove for cover as more rounds hit ufortably close.

    It was time to go. Abandoning her weapon, she dove to the ground and using the edge of the building as cover crawled away as the red-tips were zipping harmlessly above her and mming into the wall behind.

    ***

    Director Axlea walked into the embassy and blew a few sad bubbles as she looked at a new face behind the reception desk.

    ¡°May I help you?¡± The human female asked politely.

    ¡°How¡¯s Toby?¡±

    ¡°Toby, ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°The kalesh who used to sit there?¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± the female said happily, ¡°You mean Gunnery Sergeant Jolknt! Oh he¡¯s fine! He¡¯s on his way back to Terra to get fitted with a new eye.¡±

    ¡°Well that¡¯s a relief,¡± Axlea said with a relieved bubbly sigh. ¡°Wait. Gunnery sergeant? Shit. Missed that one.¡± She wagged her head. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t have pegged him for a marine.¡±

    ¡°You would have if you had him as your gunny, trust me,¡± the woman said with a grin. ¡°He could be pure <em>evil.</em> God help you if your gear wasn¡¯t up to his standard, not the marine standard, his standard.¡±

    ¡°Really, he seems so nice,¡± Axlea said and then the image of him using a scanner to inspect spotless silverware popped into her head. <em>Dang</em> she thought.

    The woman justughed. ¡°He was tough but he was a great¡­ wait...¡± She pulled out an old-fashioned notebook and flipped through it. ¡°Eel-like¡­ bot with a globe¡­ shit.¡± She then promptly mmed up.

    ¡°Surprise!¡± Director Axlea said with a flourish of two of her ¡°feet¡±. She then looked at the woman expectantly. ¡°Um¡­ any other notes about me in there?¡±

    The woman flipped the page. ¡°Oh! Yes!¡± She then opened a desk drawer and pulled out a Powerbar Extreme and the same sort of knife that Toby had and sliced it up. Axlea frowned slightly. She didn¡¯t do it right and didn¡¯t tease her before handing them over but she the snapped up the ragged chunks just the same.

    ¡°Thanks!¡± Axlea said happily. ¡°Is the ass¡­ Um, I mean the ambassador avable?¡±

    ¡°Let me check,¡± she said to Axlea. ¡°Col¡­ Um I mean Ambassador, are you up to receiving a visitor?¡± The woman said as she pressed the inte.

    ¡°Uh¡­ who is it?¡± A groggy voice answered.

    ¡°Me, cockbite.¡± Axlea said into the inte before the woman could stop her.

    ¡°Yeah, send the bitch in.¡±

    Axlea looked around in surprise when she entered his office. His desk and chair had been reced by a hospital bed and nightstand. Jon wasying there reviewing reports from arge holo-screen suspended at the foot of his bed. He looked like shit.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you let some porkies fuck you up like this,¡± she said with a malicious bubble.

    ¡°Fuck you. Oh, I got your flowers,¡± he said gesturing to a lovely bouquet with a huge silvery balloon emzoned with cute pink hearts and in a pretty flowing script the words, ¡°<em>I hope it hurts you miserable fuck.</em>¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure what was appropriate,¡± Axlea said with a chuckle. ¡°It¡¯s the thought that counts, right?¡±

    ¡°Bitch,¡± Jonughed. ¡°Oh, we got gun camera footage off of Toby¡¯s piece of shit rifle. It was Morgana behind that goddamn cannon.¡±

    ¡°Surprise, surprise,¡± Axlea said wagging her head. ¡°On the bright side, looks like she lost her Z¡¯uush.¡±

    ¡°Thank God for that,¡± Jon said.

    ¡°Yeah, we had to pressure-wash enough of your Terran ass off the streets as it is.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck was she using?¡±

    ¡°An Adjudicator anti-tank gun.¡±

    ¡°Well, that exins it,¡± he said rubbing his stump thoughtfully.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, we are going to get that bitch,¡± Director Axlea said with a snarl.

    ¡°Oh don¡¯t concern yourself overmuch,¡± Jon said with a grin. He was waiting for this part. ¡°I¡¯m going to be in the shop for a little bit so they are sending a temporary recement. She will be handling the investigation on our end.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Axlea said, ¡°And just who will that be?¡±

    Jon justughed.

    ¡°Patricia Hu.¡±

    Axlea¡¯s globe filled with bubbles.

    ¡°You gotta be shitting me!¡±

    ¡°Nope. They remembered whichyer of Hell they banished her to and dug her up especially for this.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not dead yet?¡±

    ¡°Are you kidding? She is too evil to die,¡± Jon said with a chuckle.

    ¡°She¡¯s wasting a trip,¡± Axlea said. ¡°Morgana Farstan will be dead before she gets here.¡±

    ¡°Better hope so,¡± Jonughed, ¡°If not you will have Patricia Hu with full diplomatic immunity and a mandate from the Republic on your hands.¡±

    ¡°You are behind this! You did this just to fuck with me!¡±

    ¡°Hell no! Do you think I want that monster running around here? I tried every goddamn thing I could think of to stop this. I even said nice things about you of all people! Want to know the worst part? She¡¯s staying.¡±

    ¡°<em>Fucking what?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yep, she¡¯s going to be the new ¡®Deputy Ambassador to the Federation¡¯. Ol¡¯ Morgana royally pissed off the wrong people back home. They wanted to ¡®ensure this doesn¡¯t happen again¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Oh fuck me...¡±

    ¡°Fuck both of us...¡±

    ***

    It was around midnight when Cyrus arrived at the same abandoned lot he did thest time he met with Morgana. He smiled to himself. He was finally going to get that bitch. The best part was he wasn¡¯t going to have to lift a single finger.

    In the shadows, Morgana saw him pull up with only a two people this time. He had called her earlier that day saying that he set up a meet with She. <em>Finally. It took him long enough but I guess the thought of more of his business going up in mes finally got him to get off of his ass.</em> She thought to herself. She checked the stun rifle in her hands. He said that she usually showed up with only a couple of people. Her guys, her new ones, were going to take out her cronies and she was going to stun the bitch and take her time with her. She might even join ol¡¯ Cyrus for a little barbecue.

    Out of the corner of her eye she noticed an odd distortion.

    <em>Optical shielding!</em>

    She whirled and fired hitting the blur dead center. The shield dispersed revealing none other than Director Axlea herself.

    ¡°Shit!¡± she yelled and went for her ster. It was toote. A single gunshot rang out.

    Suddenly she was in agony. It was as if her entire body was on fire. She fell down and started to convulse.

    Axlea walked up and stood over her.

    ¡°I was going have it done clean but you have no idea how much trouble you have just caused me,¡± Axlea said. ¡°Good-bye, bitch.¡±

    Morgana screamed as the blood started to weep from her eyes.

    She screamed for a very long time.

    Morgana was still screaming when Axlea walked up to Cyrus.

    ¡°That her?¡± Cyrus asked grinning from ear to ear.

    ¡°Yes. Red-tip.¡±

    ¡°Good. Serves her right,¡± Cyrus said with augh. ¡°I was hoping to have a barbecue though.¡±

    ¡°Oops.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s all good. You get rid of a pain in my ass and owe me a favor. Not a bad night.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Axlea said, ¡°about that...¡±

    One of her feet shot up with blinding speed, grabbed Cyrus¡¯ head, and crushed it like a grape as a blur suddenly shot down from above cutting down his two henchmen.

    A blood sttered Xvli wiped off its ws and turned to Director Axlea.

    ¡°Sounds like she is having fun,¡± he said as he nodded towards Morgana.

    ¡°Red-tips are a bitch,¡± Axlea chuckled, ¡°So, everything else is in motion?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Director,¡± the Xvli said calmly. ¡°By morning the entire Red-Teeth organization will be dead, not just here but on all worlds on which they operate¡­ and their families,¡± the Xvli said with some distaste.

    ¡°Problem?¡±

    ¡°No, just a question,¡± the Xvli said evenly, ¡°why the families, even the children?¡±

    ¡°Especially the children,¡± Axlea said. ¡°[emailprotected]@, you are a good agent and have a real future here so I will give you some advice,¡± Axlea said calmly, ¡°When you are fighting humans, even porkies, all mes must be extinguished, all loose threads cut, all family killed. Leave nothing behind you. It¡¯s the only way to be sure. It¡¯s the only way you can win.¡±

    She paused to listen to the screams echoing across the lot and smiled.

    The Xvli just looked at her with a mix of admiration and horror. It was easy to forget exactly why she was the director of intelligence. Only every now and again did one get a reminder.

    ¡°You hungry?¡± Axlea asked. ¡°There is this great little diner open in the Crystal District. They have the best sausage.¡±

    ¡°Might as well,¡± the Xvli said with a chuckle, ¡°I just found out how it''s made after all.¡±

 Chapter Getting Ready for the Big Job

    Chapter Getting Ready for the Big Job

    She walked onto a small raised tform and surveyed the group of various lifeforms that were assembled.

    ¡°Good morning, gentlefolk,¡± She said in a loud and clear voice. Everyone fell silent. ¡°Now I know you are all just dying to know what the job is but first we need to cover a few things. First off, we are reaching the point of no return. If anyone has any second thoughts and wants to split now is the time. You will be taken to the Vengeance and given enough bus fare to get wherever you want to go.¡± She paused for a few moments and as expected, nobody left. ¡°Excellent,¡± she continued. ¡°From this point onward nobody can leave. You can still back out but you will be staying with us until the job starts. You will bepensated for your time with ten thousand credits plus room and board.¡±

    Jessie, Gloria, and Jacob started walking through the groups handing out tablets. Almost immediately there were shouts and murmuring as everyone saw the first page with the words ¡°White Star¡± in big print.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± She said with a grin, ¡°We are taking out the White Star.¡± She gestured to the array of VR stations in therge room. ¡°We have an excellent n and have a high probability of sess on this one. These stations have fullyouts of the entire ship, battle ns, and training simtions for all of you to get your roles down pat. I expect all of you to get a lot of simtion time in and pay attention to the briefings. The better prepared we are the better chance we all have of getting this done, and getting home alive.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t what we were expecting!¡± a human yelled. ¡°This is nuts!¡±

    ¡°Well, look over the n and if you are still unhappy take your ten thousand and put your feet up for a couple of weeks,¡± She said with a smile. ¡°Of course there is another surprise that is ¡®nuts¡¯. Your pay has gone up. Each of you hired guns can expect to bring home one million credits minimum with bonuses depending on how much we get. Still too insane for you?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ I¡¯ll get back to you,¡± the human said as he grabbed a tablet.

    ¡°Ok, now we will start the first mission brief,¡± She said as arge holo-projector switched on disying arge three-dimensional image of the White Star.

    ***

    After an hour of briefings She stepped outside and looked at the forest around them. Sarn-2 was even more beautiful than she remembered. A bunch of hardened Z¡¯uush warriors were scampering around, squealing, and frolicking like a bunch of children. She couldn¡¯t help but smile.

    T¡¯sunk¡¯al walked up with a cup of coffee and handed it to her.

    ¡°They seem to be having fun,¡± She said with augh.

    ¡°For some of them, this is the first time they have ever been on a¡¯s surface or at least one as verdant as this,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said with a happy click. ¡°Many of us were born, lived our entire lives, and died in the mines. For some this is the first time they have truly been ¡®outside¡¯. They may have been in cities or a space station but as far as this,¡± He waved his ws towards the trees, ¡°This is new.¡±

    ¡°Huh, hadn¡¯t thought of that.¡±

    A man approached the pair. She turned to him and smiled.

    ¡°Hey, Logan,¡± she said as she trotted over to him. ¡°It¡¯s been too long.¡± She raised up on her toes and gave him a kiss.

    ¡°Mmm.¡± he replied as he returned her kiss, ¡°So why did you have to set up the camp here on this goddamn?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± she said, ¡°If you couldn¡¯t get down here then you aren¡¯t the pilot for the job.¡± She grinned. ¡°I think your crew¡¯s cut is worth the hassle.¡±

    She took a sip of coffee as she looked at him fondly.

    ¡°So, you get a void jumper?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m all set.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t see anyone new at the briefing.¡±

    ¡°Oh, she will show up sooner orter.¡±

    She raised an eyebrow. ¡°Not terribly professional.¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± Logan said, ¡°All she has to do is jump. I wouldn¡¯t trust her with a gun anyway. Oh, speak of the devil.¡±

    An oddly dressed old human woman staggered up wearing dark tinted sses and a beaded headband.

    ¡°<em>Oh no</em>. No no no no no¡­ <em>No!¡±</em> She said pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head.

    ¡°Hiiii Shellllia,¡± the old woman said barely able to stand upright. ¡°How¡¯s it been, girrrl?¡±

    ¡°Hello, Delores,¡± She said and then grabbed Logan and dragged him off. ¡°Why the fuck didn¡¯t you tell me?¡±

    ¡°Because you would have said no,¡± Logan said with augh. ¡°I know what you think of her but she can do the jump. I¡¯ll keep her out of the way. She won¡¯t be any problem, promise.¡±

    ¡°She is the problem. She is a walking problem. Problem is her fucking spirit animal!¡±

    ¡°Heeeyyy, girrrrrl,¡± the woman said as she staggered over to them. ¡°Just whipped up a fresh batch of dreamweave. Want some?¡± she asked producing a small vial of clear liquid.

    ¡°No. Running naked and screaming through one starport is enough, thank you.¡±

    ¡°Meh, lightweight,¡± the woman said as she opened the vial and drained it.

    ¡°How many fucking hits was that?¡± She asked in horror.

    ¡°Dunno¡­ All of them? (giggle)¡± The woman stood stock still for a little while and then said, ¡°Woooooaaahhh those trees... <em>Trees!¡±</em> and then ran off into the woods.

    ¡°Ugh,¡± She said in disgust and then heard a chuckle. She turned and saw her entire crew peeking out from around the doors to the main hall.

    ¡°You! All of you! Come here!¡± She yelled as herughing crew fled with She in hot pursuit.

    ***

    ¡°Crrreators!¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal eximed as she was filling her te from the buffet. ¡°Is this what college was like?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k replied as he surveyed the feast, ¡°I think this is actually a little worse.¡±

    ¡°I mean, why the hell do we need to know anything about power distribution? <em>Seriously?</em>... Ooo! Fish!¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said as she grabbed some sashimi.

    ¡°Well, I can see how it coulde in handy¡­ I guess...¡±

    ¡°And what¡¯s this about written exams?!?¡± she wailed.

    ¡°Well, I think the only thing we need to know is that we really want to pass. I understand that if you fail out you get the ten thousand credit vacation,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as he selected some fresh fruit.

    ¡°Fuuuuuckkk¡­ I¡¯m so screwed...¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t think like that. You are plenty sharp when you want to be and don¡¯t forget, you have the almighty Brainiac on your side. You have any trouble, just let me know and I¡¯ll break it down for you.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked her eyes glittering, ¡°You think I¡¯m sharp?¡±

    ¡°Sure. Our little jobs haven¡¯t exactly been simple. You got those ns down didn¡¯t you and you didn¡¯t survive the war by being stupid.¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said as they headed over to where the rest of their crew was sitting. He gave her a little tap on the back. ¡°You will do just fine.¡±

    If Bal¡¯sur¡¯k had been looking he would have seen her blush. They both settled down with the rest of their gang.

    ¡°So what do you think, boss?¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k asked Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha as he started to eat.

    ¡°Don¡¯t call me that. I ain¡¯t nobody¡¯s boss.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, big Z¡¯uush, you keep on thinking that,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k chuckled, ¡°but seriously, what do you think?¡±

    Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha just looked around and sighed.

    ¡°I¡¯m telling ya Z¡¯uush¡­ I mean¡­ Fuck... I thought we had our shit together but these guys¡­ This is a whole ''nother level¡­ I mean shit¡­ This¡­ All these pieces, all these ns, all this information, this setup¡­ Fuck¡­ Just¡­ Fuck...¡± he stammered. ¡°This¡­ This is how it¡¯s fucking done! Never mind the cash¡­ Just to be a part of this¡­ To be able to <em>learn</em> from them¡­¡±

    He shook his head.

    ¡°This,¡± he said as he waved a w over the whole scene, ¡°this is what we want to be. We could do this, <em>be this.¡±</em>

    ¡°Yeah, right,¡± Salz¡¯rashughed. ¡°Dere¡¯s no way.¡±

    ¡°No, ¡®dere¡¯ is a way,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said punching Salz¡¯rash yfully on the shell, ¡°Think about it, who we have? We have you with yourputer shit, Brainiac with¡­ well Brainiac shit... The rest of us ain¡¯t no softshells either. We got plenty of smarts, we just got to use those smarts¡­ smarter...¡±

    ¡°Well, the payout for this job will certainly get us heading in the right direction,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k said thoughtfully, ¡°and if we do well and gain their confidence we could have more and better opportunities as well as perhaps gain their mentorship.¡±

    ¡°And the creds will mean that we won¡¯t have to scrabble and risk our shiny little shells over scraps. We can take our time and pick our jobs.¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal said while she ate some sashimi, ¡°This fish is raw!¡­ Good though¡­ I wonder how much it costs.¡±

    ¡°Well, things going well we will find out for ourselves.¡± Ray¡¯shel¡¯zun said happily.

    ¡°For any of that shit to happen we have to get this job down and get it done,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said as he tried some of the sashimi. ¡°Hey! This raw fish is good!¡± he then turned to Bal¡¯sur¡¯k. ¡°You gotta pull out some of that brains and pass it around. We gotta ace these tests.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Bal¡¯sur¡¯k replied, ¡°does anyone have any questions?¡±

    ***

    ¡°So, what do you think?¡± She asked Greg as he was pouring over some spreadsheets.

    ¡°Well, most of the units are experienced professionals and know what to do. Even so, we are going to be cutting a few of them loose if these test scores are any indication but we should have more than enough to fill our roster.¡±

    ¡°So how about those new Z¡¯uush squads?¡±

    ¡°Not bad,¡± Greg replied, ¡°Most of them had at least a little bit of a technical background before they became warriors and it shows. They also seem to be a bit more willing to co-operate outside of their individual crews. There is this one guy¡­ I think they call him ¡®Brainiac¡¯ who is damn near running his own training camp within our training camp. They all go to him with questions.¡± Greg said as he pulled up their scores. ¡°It¡¯s almost a problem. They go to him instead of us. That being said these scores speak for themselves.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll talk to them, but that¡¯s a great problem to have,¡± She said looking at the results. ¡°How about the simtors?¡±

    ¡°They are operating well and getting plenty of use. People like video games. The results, however...¡± He pulled up another screen.

    ¡°Yeesh!¡± She said. ¡°We are going to have to crack the whip. I think we need to eliminate at least one group of low performers earlier than nned. Show them that we are serious.¡±

    ¡°Well, I think I know who that will be, those former army fucks. You know the ones I¡¯m talking about.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s cut them loose. Give them their ten grand and ship them to the hotel.¡±

    ***

    ¡°This is total bullshit!¡± a human male yelled as the sun set on the first day.

    ¡°Yeah!¡± a woman hollered.

    ¡°Sorry. That¡¯s just how it is. We don¡¯t need you,¡± She said as she held out half a dozen crystals. ¡°Here¡¯s your pay and there is a truck outside. Grab your shit.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t over,<em> bitch!¡±</em> their leader yelled.

    ¡°Oh?¡± She asked in a menacing tone.

    The arguing continued as the fired group raised holy hell, just like She wanted.

    Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal walked over to Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha.

    ¡°What¡¯s that all about?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Looks like the first gang just got their ten grand,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha replied.

    ¡°Oh shit! Do you think we are ok?¡±

    ¡°Well, there is only one truck outside. I think we are good¡­ for now.¡±

    ¡°Where¡¯s Brainiac?¡± Mul¡¯sha¡¯kal asked urgently as she looked around. ¡°I gotta go over some shit.¡±

    ***

    ¡°That was nice.¡± She said as she rolled off of Logan and curled up next to him. ¡°We should meet up more often.

    ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s been too long, baby girl.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, you know I hate that,¡± She said as she punched him in the side.

    ¡°Ow! That¡¯s why I say it.¡± Loganughed. ¡°So how is the taskmistress doing. Whipping all of the little guys into shape.¡±

    ¡°Bleah,¡± She said as she snuggled in closer. ¡°Looks sort of ok so far. Had to cut some assholes loose today but I was gonna do that anyhow.¡±

    She raised up on one elbow and yed with his hair.

    ¡°Speaking of little guys,¡± she said with a smile, ¡°Your crew didn¡¯t exactly ace anything either. You need to put a boot up their ass.¡±

    ¡°Rx,¡± Logan said with augh, ¡°I¡¯ll talk to them but is it really that important? We are just flying and hauling.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t piss me off,¡± She said as she started pinching him, ¡°Everybody has to know their shit, even you fucking pirates.¡±

    ¡°Ok, ok¡­ Stop it!¡± Loganughed. ¡°I¡¯ll apply leather to backside first thing in the morning.¡±

    ¡°You better,¡± Sheughed. ¡°I gotta go. I still have some shit to do before bed.¡±

    ¡°You know¡­ you could just stay here,¡± Logan said smiling.

    ¡°Tempting, but the taskmistress needs get her whip ready for tomorrow.¡±

    She got up and got dressed.

    She opened the door and turned to him, smiling.

    ¡°See you tomorrow night,¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t wait.¡±

    Logan smiled as she left and then pulled out his tablet. He pressed his hand to the screen and typed in a password. A Federation sigil appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Sorry, baby girl...¡± he said to himself.

 Chapter An Inconvenient Truth

    Chapter An Inconvenient Truth

    Colonel Caron steeled himself as he entered the meeting. This wasn¡¯t going to go over well at all.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± he said to the assembled officers.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get this over with,¡± General Gregs said impatiently.

    ¡°Yessir,¡± Caron replied as he opened the gun case he brought along and produced a Harbinger assault rifle.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t look like much,¡± the general said looking at the weapon with disdain.

    ¡°This is the Harbinger assault rifle, currently in production by the Juon Empire.¡±

    ¡°I know what it is. Why are you wasting our time bringing it in here?¡±

    ¡°Because we need to look at this. The Empire, during the Great War recognized the advantages of our projectile weaponry and started to use and adapt our current armament to better suit themselves and this is the ultimate result of their efforts.¡±

    ¡°Again, we know what the thing is. Why did you drag it in here?¡±

    ¡°Because it is superior to our current AK-47D in many respects.¡±

    ¡°Nonsense. We <em>are</em> projectile technology. There is no way that those wigglies can make anything better.¡±

    Caron sighed. It was going about as well as he expected. Actually it was going a little bit better.

    ¡°If you would review the information that I submitted for-¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t need to review the information. That¡­ <em>thing</em> is not suitable for Terran service.¡±

    ¡°This <em>thing</em> is more urate, lighter, has better recoil, has truly innovative optics, is much more easily adapted to fit other species¡¯ physiology, more durable, and more reliable in a wide range of environments.¡±

    ¡°More reliable? Hogwash. The Kshnikov has been in service for more than a thousand years. Tell me about that thing¡¯s reliability in a few centuries.¡±

    ¡°That is precisely the point, General,¡± the colonel said calmly, ¡°We are using twentieth century technology in the thirty-second. Our line of AK¡¯s are incredible to be sure but woefully behind the times. This,¡± he said hefting the Harbinger, ¡°is a truly modern interpretation of the gunpowder projectile weapon concept. It fully utilizes current materials technology and design to produce a weapon that makes our AK¡¯s look like the thousand year old relics that they are.¡±

    ¡°If it is so wonderful then why is it chambered for 7.62 and designed around our magazines?¡±

    ¡°(Sigh) Sir, that was a purely logistical decision and you know it. During the Great War we were producing mountains of 7.62 and it made perfect sense for them to produce a weapon that could use it. I predict that they will in time abandon the 7.62 for another caliber as we are already beginning to discuss ourselves. The currently produced Harbingers have already abandoned our magazines because they were identified as the main source of failures. Their weapon is more reliable than our magazines, people.¡±

    ¡°How would it look if we dropped our AK, the symbol of the Terran Republic, over some¡­ wigglie garbage?¡±

    ¡°Are you suggesting that we continue to cling to an outdated design purely for the sake of appearances?¡± Colonel Caron said failing to conceal his irritation. ¡°How would it look if we are surpassed in projectile weapon design by the Empire? That¡¯s already happening. Not only are they producing the Harbinger they also have perfected gyrojet ammunition and have a sniper rifle that threatens our .50 BMG¡¯s. We are in danger of beingpletely outssed by the Empire if we haven¡¯t been already.¡±

    ¡°Their rocket-slugs are nice, Horace.¡± General Ashton said to General Gregs.

    ¡°I know they are, Marge,¡± General Gregs replied. ¡°But gyrojets are too inurate and bulky for regr service.¡±

    ¡°Our gyrojets are too inurate, General,¡± Caron said bracing himself, ¡°The Imperial gyrojet slugs are very urate and reliably so. In fact more than one special forces unit has unofficially obtained them and-¡±

    ¡°Which ones?!?¡± General Gregs snapped. ¡°Which of our special forces units are carrying wigglie garbage?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I want to answer that here but gyrojet weapons especially gyrojet sniper rifles are hidden in more than one armory as we speak.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit!¡±

    ¡°Sir, I am willing to bet you lunch that if you did a surprise raid of special forces armories you would find more than one of them and I also am willing to bet you dinner that you wouldn¡¯t be able to confiscate them without a fight. The Imperial Keralx sniper gyrojet is one of the most amazing weapons I have ever fired. I am not a sniper and with one of those even I was able to hit targets at 700 meters.¡±

    ¡°700 meters isn¡¯t impressive for a sniper rifle.¡±

    ¡°(Sigh) General, you are being intentionally obtuse. I said I wasn¡¯t a sniper and just picking it up and sighting it in, which was a fully automated process that took seconds by the way, I was reaching out and sending love letters at that range instantly. Our snipers that have used them love them.¡±

    ¡°How are they even getting them?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Caron smiled, ¡°coconuts and um¡­ other things.¡±

    ¡°They are trading Republic military hardware aren¡¯t they?¡± the general snarled.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know for certain, General,¡± the colonel said looking away with a smile, ¡°but during the war there were a lot of contact between our special forces and theirs and despite their current advances there are still many things that the Juon absolutely love and would happily trade for, white phosphorous grenades for example. I also think that the Empire just loves having projectile weapons that we would lust after and are more than happy to give us a taste. I¡¯m pretty sure that the trades and in some cases outright gifts are at least secretly approved at the highest levels. Rumor has it that the Cyan Empress herself is absolutely tickled at the current turn of events. I received this gift directly from the Imperial armory.¡±

    ¡°Ok. So it looks good on paper but it has not seen a lot of active service. They only started to appear in thest days of the Great War. They need to be baptized in fire before I would begin to take them seriously.¡±

    ¡°Are you familiar with the attempt on the ambassador to the Federation¡¯s life recently?¡± the colonel asked. ¡°It was thwarted by someone with a Harbinger and the performance of the weapon was very impressive. In the reports in front of you is an ount of the incident and what the driver and one of the Harbingers was capable of.¡±

    ¡°The ¡®driver¡¯ was a retired decorated Terran Marine with years of actualbat experience. I think that might have more to do with it than some Juon pop-gun.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but that marine obtained a Harbinger based on his individual assessment and he does give credit to the weapon¡¯s built in optics package for being able to detect the target with a wide angle scope/scannerbo and then instantly zoom in to make well ced very urate shots at impressive range. That¡¯s a Kalesh with years of realbat experience making that assessment. I had the pleasure of interviewing him when he was here on Terra getting a prosthetic eye installed and he gave this weapon glowing praise. In fact, he had certain enhancements made to his eye so that it would better interface with the Harbinger¡¯s optics and electronics.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I don¡¯t trust all of those fancy optics and electronics,¡± the general grumbled. ¡°Too much can go wrong. Just drop one of those fancy toys one time and crunch.¡±

    ¡°The Harbinger can be dropped over ten meters onto a hard surface with nothing other than cosmetic damage and the optics will auto align¡­ Oh, and it won¡¯t discharge by ident either.¡±

    General Gregs just made an unhappy face and remained silent.

    ¡°Look, General,¡± the colonel said with a smile, ¡°why don¡¯t you just take this one out to the range, put a few magazines through her, see what you think? There certainly isn¡¯t any harm in it is there?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, ok. We¡¯ll see just how great this wigglie shit really is.¡±

    ***

    The following morning General Gregs went to the firing range with a certain piece of wigglie garbage in tow.

    He fired round after round through the weapon even going as far as to run through a tactical course. He also put that alleged ten meter drop tolerance to the test (He might have also exceeded it out of annoyance.)

    Around lunchtime he looked down at the piece of "garbage" in his hands and then looked skyward.

    ¡°Goddammit!¡± he yelled.

 Chapter The Rise (or Descent) of Patricia the Second

    Chapter The Rise (or Descent) of Patricia the Second

    Director Axlea made an unhappy face as she swam in circles inside her globe. The White Star, one of the biggest and most expensive luxury liners in the Federation was gone. No distress signal, no debris, nothing. It was like it disappeared from the entire Gxy.

    Not only that but a Federation Councilor was aboard. Yes, it was that shit stain Morgan but still¡­ A senior Federation official was missing.

    The public, the police, the fleet, and of course the entire council demanded answers.

    And she had one, <em>She fucking Donovan</em>. Oh there was no good way to spin this. She spat bubbles of anger and frustration. A lot of people were going to ask questions not the least of which was ¡°Why did you pull her arrest warrants?¡± as if the police were going to catch her. Of course they were going to say that they would have as they got the board and knife ready.

    They were looking for someone to me and her scaly ass was about to get filleted. Fuck.

    At least that fucker Morgan was dead, almost certainly. She would not let him survive. Hell, he was probably the reason that she took the ship.

    The fact that she took the ship was certain. How she did it however¡­ <em>Damn,</em> she thought to herself, <em>What I wouldn¡¯t give to have an ops team like hers.</em>

    She shook her head. She couldn¡¯t think about that right now. Her career was in danger. This one could very well do her in. In fact, prison wasn¡¯t out of the question.

    Normally she wouldn¡¯t mind all that much. The truth is that she was tired, so very tired. Ever since the fiasco that was the Republic war she was done. She was so done with all of this fucking bullshit. Hell, she would even be willing to cut a deal where she did take the fall. Her ¡°personal notes¡± should keep her out of any real hot water.

    She would except for one reason, Patricia fucking Hu. That bitch was on the move and nobody in the entire gxy sent shivers down her piscine spine like that monster. That fiend was nning something, more precisely she had been nning something and now she was putting it in motion. Axlea was tired, she was old, she hated her job, she hated the politics, she hated the council, but she <em>loved</em> the Federation. Sure, it wasn¡¯t perfect. It had its ws, plenty of them, but there were <em>trillions</em> of innocent sapients under its protection and every single one of them was in danger. She just knew it. Nobody else in the Federation, except for the humans, seemed to know or care about that witch, but she knew all too well what that monster was and what sort of pure evil she represented.

    She was part of the original diplomatic mission. She saw first hand what¡­ <em>evil</em>... that woman was capable of. She was just a junior intelligence officer back then. What they found¡­ It¡¯s had haunted her ever since. What she <em>did</em>¡­ It was unthinkable.

    She couldn¡¯t let whatever that <em>thing</em> had in store for the Federation, for the entire gxy, happen. She didn¡¯t protect her people from the Republic war. Her failure, herck of as Patricia would put it, <em>resolve</em>, sent over a billion innocent souls to their deaths.

    She wasn¡¯t going to fail her people again.

    And to protect them she needed this position. She needed to keep her job. <em>The entire Federation depended on it.</em>

    Ice gripped her heart as she chuckled. It was going to take a Patricia to stop one. Might as well be her. It was time to slip out of herfy little globe and go diving right into the abyss and there was noing back. She smiled grimly and summoned an agent.

    ¡°Director?¡± the agent said. It was Servalux, one of ¡°her people¡±.

    ¡°Yes, Servalux, I need you to do something for me. Bring me the head of the Federation security council.¡±

    ¡°Yes, director, I will contact his office immed-¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say to get me an appointment. I said <em>bring me his head</em>. Kill him. He has a serious and chronic medical condition. He needs to sumb to it. Now.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Yes director. I will see to it at once.¡±

    ***

    Doctor rkson walked into Director Axlea¡¯s office.

    ¡°Director,¡± he said, ¡°I havepleted analysis of the bio-scan that you sent me.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Axlea said, ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an amazingly healthy human female, approximately thirty years of age, with signs of healed facial fractures, three broken ribs, and a broken-¡±

    ¡°Back up,¡± Axlea said blowing bubbles of surprise, ¡°How old?¡±

    ¡°Around thirty,¡± the doctor replied.

    ¡°Impossible,¡± Axlea said grimly. ¡°Go over the scan again, atom by atom if you have to.¡±

    ¡°Director?¡±

    ¡°That is the bio-scan of Sylvia Salvatore. Ever heard of her?¡±

    ¡°No, Director, should I have?¡±

    ¡°She was a member of the Inquisition of the Chosen¡­ During the Sol Wars.¡±

    ¡°That¡­ That can¡¯t be, director. It¡¯s impossible!¡±

    ¡°Apparently it is. Go over the scan again molecule by molecule.¡±

    ¡°Director, while, due to their obsession with ecological reconstruction, the Republic is years ahead of us when ites to human and Terran biological science what you suggest is in the realm of pure science fiction, even for them.¡±

    ¡°Well then beam me up because it¡¯s<em> real</em>,¡± Axlea replied. ¡°Go over the scan again and again and again until you have some fucking answers for me. You have the full support of the entire agency, whatever you need.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try but-¡±

    ¡°I am not exaggerating when I say that the fate of the entire Federation is at stake. Don¡¯t try. Do.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but...¡±

    ¡°Patricia Hu is behind this.¡±

    ¡°¡­ I will get started immediately!¡±

    ¡°And doctor, not a word of this to <em>anyone</em>. You are now part of a task force answering solely to me. If you need personnel be sure you arefortable with them permanently because once they are brought in they aren¡¯t getting out until the dealing is done.¡±

    ¡°Yes Director.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Please ept my condolences during this sad time,¡± Director Axlea said to the new head of the Federation Security Council. ¡°If there is anything I can do to assist you during this difficult transition please do not hesitate to ask.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, director,¡± Councilor Xil said bowing his cranial lobes, ¡°Council Gz-Kal always spoke very highly of you. Despite your frequent shes he always said that you were perhaps one of the truest servants of the Federation.¡±

    ¡°There is no higher praise,¡± Director Axlea said bowing her head. ¡°I do regret imposing so soon but I really must meet with you concerning a matter of great urgency and delicacy as soon as you can manage.¡±

    ¡°I would normally do so immediately but there is much to be done. Can it wait until-¡±

    ¡°It involves the disappearance of the White Star and Councilor Morgan. I have information that I must discuss with you before it bes public. I regret that I must meet with you today. The stability of the Federation, as well as the careers of more than one high ranking official are at stake.¡±

    ¡°I will be there this afternoon, Director.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Axlea said blowing bubbles, ¡°I really appreciate it, Councilor.¡±

    The call terminated. Axlea pulled up one of her personal files involving Councilor Xil and pressed y.

    ¡°¡­ Now that¡¯s just nasty...¡± she said smiling to herself.

    ***

    Director Axlea stepped into a conference room. Inside were several dozen agents of a wild variety of species and a good number of humans.

    ¡°Agents,¡± She began, ¡°You have all been selected to serve on a special task force. You have each proven your ability, your dedication, your loyalty, and most importantly your love for the Federation. Gentlebeings, we face a crisis. No. The word ''crisis'' is perhaps not sufficient. We face a threat greater than any faced during your entire lives, during my entire life, including the Republic War.¡±

    Murmurs issued from the group. Director Axlea was not prone to histrionics, quite the contrary in fact.

    ¡°Please take a moment to review the dossier on the tablets in front of you.¡±

    The murmurs became louder as the group read.

    ¡°Before any of you ask. Yes. Everything in that report is verified and one hundred percent true. In fact,¡± she said, ¡°If you take a moment to look at the list of agents involved in that investigation you will find my name. I was there. I <em>saw</em> it. That woman is the single greatest threat facing the Federation. Until now she has quietly remained behind the scenes ying her little games. Now, she has decided to make a move.¡±

    ¡°Director,¡± agent [emailprotected]@ said licking his lips, ¡°And what is that move? What is she nning?¡±

    ¡°That, agents,¡± the director said, ¡°Is the first thing we need to find out. I sanction anything and I mean anything. Anything fucking goes. <em>Gentlebeings, as of now we are at war</em>.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Director,¡± agent [emailprotected]@ said as he loped into her office, ¡°The observation teams are in ce. Any being of any species entering or leaving the Terran embassy will be fully scanned and those scans will be routed to our research team as well aspared against all records regardless of age.¡±

    ¡°Excellent, I can always rely on you can¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°It gratifies myself to hear you say that, director,¡± the Xvli said bowing his head respectfully. ¡°Also you were correct about councilor Grailtha. You will find this,¡± he said as he put a data crystal on her desk, ¡°quite interesting and most certainly of use.¡±

    ¡°Perfect,¡± the director said. ¡°That¡¯s one more on a leash. Any more interesting humans?¡±

    ¡°Yes, your suspicions were correct. The human known as Crimson was spotted. She¡¯s quite youthful for someone of her years.¡±

    ¡°Keep a close eye on that one. If she farts I want to know what it smelt like. By the way, when ites time for us to make our move, she is one of the first to go.¡±

    ¡°Yes Director, I shall," [emailprotected]@ said bowing his head. "I have also reinstated all warrants and bounties for She Donovan and all known associates¡­ and I have also removed them from the cklist. We are no longer hunting for them. May I ask why?¡±

    ¡°Who knows what data they managed to steal,¡± the director replied, ¡°We can leak anything we want and pin it on them as long as they are atrge. They are also dangerously violent master criminals with a penchant for killing Federation Councilors¡­ If they are capable of that I shudder to think what else ¡®they¡¯ might do¡­ If you get my meaning,¡± the director said wiggling in a wry "smile".

    ¡°I see,¡± the Xvli grinned, ¡°Oh, one more thing. You wanted to know when Ambassador Wintersmith returned. He has. He was just spotted in the vicinity of the starport.¡±

    ¡°Excellent!¡± Director Axlea said blowing bubbles of happiness. ¡°Let me know the second he is at the embassy.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Director.¡±

    ***

    Jon stepped out of the taxi carrying a small bag with a smile. <em>Home sweet home</em> the thought with a smile as he approached a clearly astonished and delighted security officer at the main gate.

    ¡°Ambassador!¡± the officer said snapping to attention. ¡°You have no idea how good it is to see you.¡±

    ¡°I might have some idea,¡± Jon said with a grin. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, daddy¡¯s back!¡±

 Chapter The Hatchet

    Chapter The Hatchet

    Brenda walked, tour guide in hand, along the street with the highest percentage of Federation Intelligence employees. It was easy to track their source, an underground light rail line that had a stop in a park several blocks away.

    She wandered the park happily with a bag of donuts. Baconville (her name for the human district) had some absolutely wonderful little bakeries and pastry shops, great coffee too! She sipped her giant cup and wondered if it was actual coffee or just a really good synthetic.

    She decided she didn''t care.

    The park was absolutely beautiful! Beautiful abstract sculptures, wonderful nts from dozens of systems, fish ponds from world after world after world. It was fantastic! She had to admit it. The Republic had nothing like this! Can¡¯t do this with just four living systems. She smiled a happy goofy lopsided smile. The weather was absolutely perfect! Nice sunny day but still brisk enough that her hoodie made sense. Picking a bench shaded by some sort of tree she had never seen before she sat down her handbag and started happily devouring the donuts.

    She looked about. It was easy to spot the government cogs, the nerds, and the sleek dangerous agents. She discreetly slid a small plug into her neural jack and silently activated the powerful microphone in her ratty purse. By cutting the feed into slices she could focus on any single direction with pretty decent uracy.

    She was rather proud of the mic. She put it together this morning out of two children¡¯s toys, a cheap amplifier from a second hand music shop, and a few hand cut sheets of copper from a craft store. God bless porkies and their silly little crafts. Then again, she smiled, she was fond of her little crafts as well.

    She focused on a young affectionate critter couple sitting near a crystalline fountain. Oh, talking about agency business outside of the building¡­ Naughty naughty¡­

    She focused her right eye on a lean dangerous looking human standing near a food cart. She didn¡¯t need any analytic voodoo to figure him out. Young, well dressed, obsessively well groomed, making a point to keep his eyes moving¡­ Cliche¡¯ much?

    In short order she easily identified a score of Federation Intelligence employees and agents in the park and lunch was just starting. Yep. This was definitely a watering hole and the antelope were fat, happy, andpletely unaware.

    <em>Perfect ce for a crocodile¡­ Chomp!</em> She giggled to herself.

    <em>I wonder...</em> she thought to herself. She took her tablet and activated a powerful directional antenna she put in a few months ago. It wasn¡¯t cobbled together from bits and pieces. It was a very nice piece of work if she said so herself.

    While she typed an overly enthusiastic letter home to her fictitious family she shifted the tablet as she wrote targeting the various food stalls, food trucks, vendors, and nearby restaurants as she did the real work through her neural jack.

    Yep, most of the kiosks, carts, and trucks were using Cre, a Federation standard for point of sale processing. Good old Cre, cheap, reliable, andpletely and utterly hackable. She didn¡¯t even consider it a hack. She had an app. Best five grand she ever spent.

    She wondered who Jessie was. Whoever she was she wrote some great shit. She always was on the lookout for more of her stuff on the ck market. She even asked around but it seems they went exclusive and joined a crew awhile back.

    Pity.

    She shrugged and opened up the first kiosk and pulled up transactions for thest month¡­. Nope. Ok, how about that one¡­ Nope. Wait¡­ She zoomed in with her right eye. Was that a sushi cart? Let¡¯s see¡­

    Bingo.

    Axlea Kalent 367¡­ and she¡¯s a regr! She eats there several times a week. <em>I wonder why Kalent only have first names</em>, she idly thought as she bit into herst donut. <em>Oh no! Out of donuts!</em> She frowned. This was serious. <em>Mission abort!</em>

    Sushi! She could really go for some sushi. She stood up, brushing the crumbs off of her boobs, and tossed the coffee cup into a nearby receptacle. Cold coffee didn¡¯t go with sushi.

    She idly strolled back to the park entrance closest to the Federation Intelligence building and then wandered towards the sushi cart. So many nice, tall buildings¡­ She stifled a smirk. Some noobs actually try to climb them or otherwise gain ess to the rooftops. Imagine! Actually lurking up there like you were in some movie with an actual (snicker) rifle¡­

    This was the thirty second century for Christ¡¯s sake¡­ Some people¡­ I mean, how would you even get down?

    Her left eye was constantly taking passive measurements as she walked. Her eyes weren¡¯t bionic, not entirely. They were still the ones she was born with, just with a few little enhancements, almost unnoticeable and if they were they were easily passed off as corrective imnts and nothing more.

    They cost a mint but damned if they weren¡¯t worth it. They made things a lot more convenient.

    By the time she reached the sushi cart she had a pretty goodyout of the ce. She would rather have taken a few ¡°selfies¡± but she figured that might be pushing it just a little. The wrong ¡°007¡± getting his panties in a knot because he was in the background could be a problem. Oh they probably wouldn¡¯t cause a scene but she really preferred not to be covertly scanned and then run through a database, not that she would be worried. She wasn¡¯t in any of them. It¡¯s just poor practice.

    She looked at the menu at the sushi cart. She recognized a few staples but hey, she was a tourist! She enthusiastically asked about the various offerings and got a really nice assortment of hand rolls and a cup of some sort of tea that the vendor assured her was ok for humans. The vendor was really nice, even if he was a porkie. She made the decision to not get him caught in any potential ¡°mess¡±.

    It was really good too! She could see why Director Axlea liked this cart. Munching happily she, reading her tour book, walked into the metro entrance. There was this really nifty sounding spaceflight museum she wanted to check out.

    She bet their gift shop would have all sorts of toys! She liked toys.

    She reached for another hand roll as she took her seat on the metro. It was even tastier than the first! Maybe she would let Axlea eat before she killed her. She could die happy. That would be nice.

    She smiled as the metro pulled out of the station. She nodded happily as she munched away. Yes. Axlea should get ast meal especially if it¡¯s this tasty.

    I mean she was a killer and all but she didn¡¯t have to be <em>mean</em> about it.

    ***

    That evening Brenda went back to the park metro stop this time going to a nearby restaurant that had good reviews. She wasn¡¯t exactly sure what Rivvialn cuisine was but humans sure seemed to like it. That was one of the neat things about traveling so much for work. You got to see so many interesting things and eat so many interesting foods! She paused at a trash can to toss a small pastry box into it (never can have too many donuts) and then went to dinner.

    It was pretty darn good! They did this really neat thing where they brought out little ming braziers and cooked stuff right in front of you. She always liked things like that.

    It was really fun! She went home full and happy.

    Around the¡¯s equivalent of two in the morning carefully timed between metro stops (They still had trains running at that time, impressive.) She connected her neural jack to her tablet. essing the restaurant¡¯swork was pretty simple considering the fact that she already had all the necessary info. She has taken the liberty of hacking the ce between courses.

    Using the restaurant¡¯s wifi she contacted what was actually inside that pastry box. A small cylinder with tiny little fins silently rose from the trash can and, easily passing for a Federation sensor bot, flew to the top of the building she had pre-selected. After hovering around for a few seconds she found the perfect little niche in some decorative structures.

    She parked the little cylinder up there and put it to sleep. She soon followed.

    ***

    The next morning Director Axlea entered the Council Chambers, a monumental structure in the center of the city and made her way to Councilor Yoltran¡¯s office.

    ¡°Ah, Axlea, thank you for dropping by,¡± arge Threen said warmly.

    ¡°Yes, Yoltran, Axlea said with a smile, "I figured I would save you the trouble."

    Councilor Yoltran, head of the Intelligence Oversight Committee frowned slightly. The rumblings that he had heard were very disturbing¡­ and very unlike Axlea.

    ¡°Instead of the usual pleasantries I will cut to the chase,¡± Axlea said. ¡°You undoubtedly have questions. I know you too well, Yol.¡±

    ¡°By the Abyss I do,¡± Yoltran said with a growl. ¡°Namely, what the fuck? Have you gone mad? ckmail, extortion¡­ and I¡¯m afraid to specte what else.¡±

    ¡°Yoltran,¡± Axlea said quietly, ¡°Do you trust me?¡±

    ¡°Of course I do you stupid eel. I would have had you hauled in front of the whole council if I didn¡¯t,¡± Yoltran replied. ¡°I¡¯ve known you for years, Axie. What¡¯s going on, really going on?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t tell you Yol.¡±

    ¡°As you say, carpshit,¡± Yoltran growled. ¡°I have the same clearance as you do. Now cough up what you are choking back or I will reach in there and pull it out.¡±

    ¡°Ok, Yol,¡± Axlea said, ¡°First off the Kalent Forum is actually concerned about this. If I¡¯m blocked they will take matters into their own hands.¡±

    ¡°Fuck me...¡± Yoltran muttered.

    ¡°Secondly, once I brief you there is no turning back. If you leak this I will kill you myself. I¡¯m not kidding, Yol.¡±

    Yoltran took a deep breath.

    ¡°Well it¡¯s my job. I need to know.¡±

    ¡°Ok but don¡¯t get mad at meter for telling you...¡±

    About an hourter Yoltran let out a heavy growling sigh shaking his whole body.

    ¡°I¡¯m mad at you for telling me,¡± heughed grimly. After a few moments he said, ¡°Thest time I held you back over a billion people died. This time I¡¯m going to turn you loose. Creators forgive me. Do what you must but we <em>cannot</em> afford another war with the Republic.¡±

    ¡°The Forum agrees with you, Yol.¡± Axlea said. ¡°And even more importantly I agree. It was a billionst time. Next time there is no telling how many casualties there will be. That war is in part what I am trying desperately to prevent¡­ by any means necessary.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep themittee off your back if I can but for the love of all life be discreet, please. Either that or actually ckmail the <em>entire</em> council, whichever.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Yol. I owe you.¡±

    ¡°If you take care of this we will be the ones owing you,¡± Yoltran replied.

    ¡°<em>When</em> I take care if this you won¡¯t owe me anything,¡± Axlea said calmly. ¡°After this I¡¯m finished. I¡¯ve already done too much and crossed too many lines. No telling how much more I will have to do before this whole affair is over. I will no longer be fit to lead. I could wind up being a greater threat than that human. I will return to my homeworld and slip into the great ocean with no regrets.¡±

    Yoltran nodded. ¡°Ok. You have my backing until that monster is in. After that, you can rest.¡±

    ¡°Thank you old friend,¡± Axlea said with a tired smile.

    ¡°If you excuse me, Axlea,¡± Yoltran said with a sigh. ¡°I¡¯m taking the rest of the day off. I think I need to wash down what you just fed me and it¡¯s going to take more than one mugful.¡±

    ¡°Later, Yol,¡± Axlea smiled. ¡°I¡¯ll keep you in the loop.¡±

    ***

    Axlea returned to her office and after a few frustrating hours of stale intel reports and no progress from theb she needed a break.

    The weather was nice that day. A te of sushi and a nice sit by the fish ponds was just what the doctor ordered. Maybe a little break would make her more productive.

    She walked out the entrance of the Federation Intelligence building and down the street. She could already feel herself rxing a bit. She hated bringing in Yoltran. Poor old Threen didn¡¯t need to be burdened with this. She could quit and fade into the great ocean. Him, he was going to have to deal with this for years.

    <em>He asked for it</em>, she reminded herself.

    She entered the park and smiled at it¡¯s simple beauty and the happy people and couples enjoying it. This, this is what she was fighting to protect.

    It was a good reminder.

    She made her way to her favorite sushi cart. She ordered her usual. The vendor had already started to reach for the ingredients before shepleted her request.

    She smiled and, carrying the sashimi, she walked over to her favorite fountain. In the pool at the base was a carefully constructed ecosystemprised of fish and nts from over ten different worlds, all living inplete harmony¡­

    Oh if it was only that easy for sophonts, she smiled. Opening the top of her globe she dropped a piece of sashimi into her tank, snapping it up with relish.

    As she stood admiring the fish she did the same with each piece, one after the other¡­

    ***

    Brenda was sitting on a bench across the park happily demolishing a box of eirs. She had found <em>the</em> pastry shop! She looked up with a little chocte frosting on her nose and watched Axlea enter the park.

    <em>Too bad I won¡¯t be going back there,</em> she thought taking another big bite.

    Watching Axlea without looking directly at her, she quietly observed her go to the sushi cart. <em>Sashimi</em>, she observed.

    She, the plug already inserted into her neural jack, idly activated the tablet in her handbag as she selected another eir.

    She smiled as she risked zooming in with her right eye. Axlea seemed to be really enjoying lunch. That was nice.

    She watched as thest piece of sashimi disappeared. Final meal enjoyed. This was good. Axlea seemed at peace, just looking at the fish. Good. She deserved that. She did a quick survey of the area with her left eye. Nobody else was within the impact area.

    <em>Goodnight, sweet princess...</em>

    Brenda activated the small cylinder. Suddenly she could see through its eye. Using the cylinder''s passive optical sensors, she targeted Axlea¡¯s globe and then focused her attention on an imaginary iconbeled, ¡°St!¡± It shed twice and then disappeared.

    The cylinder quietly floated out of its niche. It started moving slowly at first, lining itself up exactly with Axlea¡¯s globe and then a massive power surge hit the thrusters, burning them out in a fraction of a second but not before the cylinder was elerated to hypersonic velocity.

    It descended down upon Axlea¡¯s bot like a fist from a Terran God (more like a pinky finger of one but whatever) Most of it disintegrated in such a way as to disrupt things as it tore through her powerful shield but someps, especially the payload, some heavy ceramic ball bearings (courtesy of a repair shop in the shipyard) survived and were massive enough to punch holes through the transparent polymer.

    The fragments were powerful enough topletely rupture the globe, instantly converting some of the water to steam. It exploded with a powerful shockwavepletely ripping several legs off of the bot and blowing the body into several pieces one of which mmed into a nearby sculpture, shattering it.

    Of the globe, and its contents, nothing remained.

    Even though Brenda knew it wasing, it still startled her causing her to smush the eir into her face. As she sat there, chocte and cream smeared across her cheek she made a quick check of the surroundings. It was one hell of a mess but most of the debris went about where she expected and it looked like nobody was injured¡­ Wait¡­ no¡­ some people were hurt but it looked like nobody was critical.

    She mimicked a perfect shocked/horrified expression but inside she was smiling happily. One target, one kill, no coteral casualties¡­ well no coteral death anyway. Looks like the others will be ok.

    And now to confirm the kill¡­ <em>Oops</em>¡­ She yfully chided herself. <em>Vaporized another one</em>¡­

    She got up and followed the general movement of the shocked and confused herd trying to drift close enough to the st area to look for remains. She could see dozens ofmunicators being produced and people of a variety of species screaming into them. She followed suit, grabbing her phone and yelling obscenities.

    It was <em>chaos</em>, beautiful glorious chaos! They werepletely losing their shit. As she wiped her face with her sleeve she eased her way into the confused mob. It was easy to drift among them.

    Was that a nugget? Yes! Lucky! Idly looking around to time it so that nobody was looking directly at her she bumped into someone and dropped her bag, spilling some of the contents. She quickly bent down and gathered her belongings, plus a little something extra, a chunk of flesh norger than a piece of sashimi¡­ Sashimi¡­ Hmm¡­ She <em>was</em> a little peckish. She wondered if she could get a rainbow roll anywhere around here.

    Looking about she saw a group gathering around someone who looked important. She fell in with them. They all left for the Intelligence Building. A few of them shed ID¡¯s to the police arriving on the scene (Great response time! She was quite impressed!) as they left. She just gave one of the police a grim nod as she followed.

    Nobody stopped her. Why would they?

    She followed the group for a block slowly drifting further and further behind them until she eventually turned down a side street and walked away.

    ***

    Chaos reigned at Federation Intelligence. Director Axlea had been ughtered right in front of them in the monitored zone around the building no less. Agent [emailprotected]@ snarled at the fidgeting agent in front of him.

    ¡°Now help me to understand,¡± [emailprotected]@ hissed at the miserable pol-ka, ¡°A whole twelve man survence team, equipped with the best tech the Federation has, whose only job was to watch the Director and stop an assassination attempt <em>that we knew wasing</em>, can¡¯t even tell me exactly what the fuck happened?¡±

    The pol-ka winced.

    ¡°It just happened so fast, sir,¡± the pol-ka whined. ¡°We detected¡­ <em>something</em>¡­ and then a fraction of a secondter, she just¡­ blew up.¡±

    ¡°Just blew up? That¡¯s all you can fucking tell me?¡± [emailprotected]@ yelled. ¡°The director put her life in your hands and all you can tell me is that she ¡®just blew up¡¯? I already know that! Everyone in the fucking park knows that! Everyone in the fucking Federation is going to know that within the fucking hour! I don¡¯t need ¡®just blew up¡¯! I need fucking answers!¡± The Xvli hit his desk hard enough to crack it, the impact tossing his terminal to the floor. ¡°Go over every single fucking one and zero you have until you have something!¡±

    ¡°Yes si-¡±

    ¡°<strong>GO!!!</strong>¡±

    The pol-ka fled.

    Agent [emailprotected]@ sat down and put his head in his paws. He had warned her. He fucking told Axlea that this was too risky. All the old fish would say was that she was ¡®sufficiently protected¡¯ with that annoying smug little smirk. <em>Well, all that Kalent tech did exactly shit didn¡¯t it, Director.</em>

    He wanted to scream. He wanted to fly into a rage, break some shit. Unfortunately, he did not have that luxury.

    Taking a deep breath he picked up his terminal from where itnded, switched it on, and opened a file titled ¡°In Case I Die¡±.

    ***

    Patricia was sitting at her desk with her face in her hands. It hadn¡¯t been a good morning. She had just received word that three more of her ¡°immortal¡± riders had turned up dead back on Terra. Not only that but yesterday''s attempt to turn Jon was a dismal failure. She had bared herself and Jon had <emughed at her</em>. God, she had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable, in her whole life.

    Well, not since that day¡­

    She reached into her clutch and pulled out a small silver locket. She opened it and gazed at the small holographic image.

    ¡°Darling,¡± she said, her eyes red, ¡°I... I¡¯ve had a bad day, a couple of bad days. I don¡¯t know where it went wrong but I¡¯m at aplete standstill here. I¡­ I don¡¯t know if this is going to work... I¡­ I wish you were here. I miss you so much¡­ I¡­¡±

    There was a quiet knock at the door.

    ¡°I said not to disturb me!¡± She yelled.

    ¡°My Lady,¡± Crimson cautiously said from the other side, ¡°you might want to turn on the news, any channel.¡±

    ¡°Go away!¡±

    ¡°Yes, My Lady.¡± Crimson beat a hasty retreat. She knew from personal experience what happened to people who lingered too long when Her Ladyship was like this.

    Patricia activated a holoscreen. On it were views of the park surrounded by police and government vehicles.

    ¡°We have just received confirmation from the Department of Federation Intelligence that Director Axlea, the head of Federation Intelligence, was in in an explosion of unknown origin...¡±

    Patricia wiped her eyes and smiled.

    At least something finally went right. She smiled at the locket.

    ¡°Thank you for giving me strength, my love,¡± she said as she snapped it shut. She reached for hermunicator.

    ¡°Crimson,¡± she said with a smile.

    ¡°Yes, mydy?¡±

    ¡°I authorize the remainder of the payment to The Hatchet. Be sure to thank her for her good work and let her know that there is always a ce at my table for her, should she desire it. In fact, add another five hundred thousand to the final payout. This is someone I want to keep happy.¡±

    ¡°We are going to let her live?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Patriciaughed, ¡°It would be a shame to lose such a resource and besides, do you really want to be on her bad side?¡±

    ¡°I suppose not, My Lady.¡±

    ***

    Deputy Director Gvx-Taa groomed his leg spurs nervously as he tried to somehow gain control of the bem in which he found himself. Hismunicator buzzed constantly. He had taken to ignoring it for the time being.

    He opened a set of standing orders that he was sent on a daily basis from thete director, a file he had hoped he would never have to read.

    He cocked his head curiously at the first item, priority one.

    <em>Contact Agent [emailprotected]@ immediately.</em>

    Agent [emailprotected]@ was a well respected, but not especially high ranked agent. Gvx-Taa knew that he often worked closely with Axlea though. When people thought nobody was listening it was whispered that he was one of the Director¡¯s assassins.

    He went to [emailprotected]@¡¯s cubicle. He was surprised to see the Xvli surrounded by over a dozen people.

    ¡°Nothing changes,¡± [emailprotected]@ said to the group. ¡°We proceed exactly as if Director Axlea was still here. For the time being, however, we shall observe only. We can only assume that this will embolden her. Let us use that to our advantage.¡± [emailprotected]@ looked up at the Deputy Director as if they were expected.

    ¡°I will arrange a more secure meeting area,¡± the Xvli said calmly, ¡°Until then, follow the orders that I send you. That will be all.¡±

    ¡°Director,¡± agent [emailprotected]@ said calmly.

    ¡°I¡¯m still the Deputy Director until informed otherwise.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir.¡±

    ¡°I was told to meet with you,¡± Gvx-Taa said curiously.

    ¡°Sir, I have information concerning this whole situation,¡± the Xvli said with little emotion, ¡°With a fairly high degree of certainty, we know who is behind this and why. Perhaps we could retire to a more secure location?¡±

    ¡°Come with me,¡± Gvx-Taa replied dreading what he was about to find out.

 Chapter Aftermath II Sheila and the Gang

    Chapter Aftermath II She and the Gang

    In the wee hours of that same morning back on Terra a triumphant, nearly orgasmic scream echoed through the corridors of the Paper Tiger. Shortly thereafter Jessie, d in pink pajamas, started to careen through the halls.

    ¡°We did it! We fucking did it!¡± she yelled joyously.

    ¡°Shit, Jessie,¡± She groaned as she staggered, d in a pair of ratty boxers and a t-shirt, out into the corridor. ¡°What the flying fuck?¡±

    Jessie bounced up and with a little spin shoved a tablet in She¡¯s face. She blearily peered at it.

    Her eyes popped wide open.

    ¡°Holy shit! Jessie!¡± She eximed. ¡°Is this real?!?¡±

    ¡°You know it, babe!¡± Jessie chirped as she bounced up and down, unable to keep still.

    ¡°How many ounts did you fucking crack?¡±

    ¡°<em>Just one! </em>Just fucking <em>one</em> of them!¡± Jessie bubbled as she danced around She joyously.

    One by one the rest of the crew staggered out of their cabins and joined the celebration, everyone except Gloria. She just stood there with zed eyes and an emotionless expression.

    As everyone started an impromptu celebratory breakfast Gloria just shrugged and returned to her cabin, locking the door.

    ***

    Gloria locked the door to her cabin and closed her eyes as she leaned against it. The images were starting again. Bomb sh after bomb sh, scream after scream, voices crying out for people that they knew were already dead, that¡­ fucking kid with the plush toy¡­ over and over and over again, an unending slideshow of horrors that never stopped¡­

    Never stopped¡­

    All those <em>people¡­ Millions of them</em>¡­

    All killed... <em>murdered</em>¡­

    She sank to the floor burying her face in her hands while the hellish slideshow kept ying in her mind, not only the Reaper strikes but everything that came afterward, the executions, the torture¡­

    The burnings¡­ The crucifixions¡­

    Every fucked up thing that <em>she did¡­ To people</em>¡­ To Sam...

    <em>She was a monster.</em>

    She let out a single sob.

    <em>Get help!</em> she thought to herself but she didn¡¯t deserve it. She deserved all of this. It had been building for awhile, the images, the memories¡­ <em>the voices</em>¡­ She had been able to handle it, calm her mind the same way she used to do on missions when she was flying into death again and again and again but no longer. The old tricks weren¡¯t working anymore.

    She flinched as that same goddamn kid with the plush toy shed across her mind again.

    <em>I should have died,</em> she thought. <em>I should have died so many times...</em>

    <em>If I did I wouldn¡¯t have be¡­ this¡­ It would have been better...</em>

    She curled up on the floor and started sobbing quietly as the hellish slideshow continued.

    ***

    Later that morning everybody, in very high spirits, gathered for the morning meeting.

    ¡°Alright, you fucking pirates,¡± She said with a huge smile. ¡°First bit of business, we appear to be fucking rich!¡±

    Everybody, except Mike and Lorna cheered. They just smiled gamely. She cocked her head at them.

    ¡°You two assholes are getting a cut too, you know,¡± sheughed.

    ¡°W-what?¡± Lorna asked in shock.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Greg replied with a huge grin. ¡°You guys are getting a full cut of the bank ounts. We decided long ago that big gaps in wealth were bad for business. Besides, you were part of the operation that nabbed those beauties anyway.¡±

    Lorna looked like she was going to pass out. Mike wasn¡¯t doing much better.

    ¡°Don¡¯t get too excited,¡± She chuckled. ¡°This first big win is going to fill our war chest back up. We need to rebuild the business. We are only going to do a cash out of a couple of million a piece, sorry.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ That¡¯s ok,¡± Lorna giggled.

    ¡°<em>Only a few million?!?</em> That¡¯s bullshit!¡± Mike eximed before breaking down into nearly hysteric giggling.

    ¡°We need to start thinking about exactly what we are going to do next. This big payoff is only the first of hundreds. This is going to change everything,¡± She said. ¡°We will be able to do¡­ well I don¡¯t even know what we will be able to do but shit...¡±

    ¡°Finance whole revolutions!¡± Jacob eximed.

    ¡°Give out weapons for free!¡± Jessie chirped. ¡°Ships too!¡±

    ¡°This is exactly what we need to start talking abou-¡± She started to say when Gloria walked in with a happy smile on her face. ¡°Nice of you to join us, Gloria.¡±

    ¡°Sorry I¡¯mte,¡± Gloria said with a happy littleugh. ¡°So what did I miss?¡±

    ¡°Nice to see you are finally back with us,¡± She smiled, ¡°Well we were just discussing the future. Things are definitely going to be changing for us and we are trying to chart out our new course.¡±

    ¡°Sounds wonderful,¡± Gloria smiled.

    After a rather long and dream filled discussion everyone decided that a celebratory lunch was called for.

    ¡°Youing?¡± She asked Gloria as everyone was filing out of the ship.

    ¡°No,¡± Gloria smiled. ¡°I think I¡¯m going to stay in today, catch up on some rest.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± She said slightly confused, ¡°We are all going to Archibald¡¯s if you change your mind. Be sure to seal up the ship if you head out¡­ Gloria,¡± She said slightly concerned, ¡°Is everything ok?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Gloria said with a big sunshine filled smile. ¡°For the first time in awhile, it finally is.¡±

    ***

    After everybody left Gloria locked up and headed back to her cabin.

    ¡°You good?¡± Bunny asked. ¡°I¡¯ve just gotten a message. There is this thing I gotta go to.¡±

    ¡°You have a date or something?¡± Gloria said with a happy littleugh.

    ¡°More of the or something,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°d to see you back to your old self, Gloria. I was getting worried.¡±

    ¡°Oh, It was just a tough mission but hey, no biggie, right? Have fun on your outing,¡± Gloria replied as she returned to her cabin.

    Once inside she sighed with contentment. Oh the slideshow was starting again but it really didn¡¯t matter anymore.

    She walked over to one of her lockers and opened it. She reached through all of the outfits and pulled out her old naval uniform. She then started unpacking her medals, all of them. She pulled off the massive ribbon block from the uniform and startedying out each individual medal exactly where it should be. She had never actually worn all of the actual medals before.

    There were <em>a lot</em> of them. In fact she was starting to run out of room, especially when all of thebat sortie pins were concerned. <em>Jesus,</em> she thought as sheid them all out on the bunk. <em>I went on that many? No wonder I¡¯m nuts,</em> she thought with a littleugh. That goddamned image of that kid with the plush toy shed across her mind again but it really didn¡¯t bother her anymore. It would be over soon.

    After looking up uniform regtions to find out where the extra shit should go she picked up her jacket and shrugged herself into it. <em>It''s heavy</em> she thought and then looked in the mirror andughed.

    <em>I look like a fucking Christmas tree,</em> she thought as sheughed. It was truly ridiculous.

    She then opened a small jewelry chest and pulled out a solid gold pin, It was two scythes with a moray eel entwined between them. Only fifty of those pins were ever issued. Of those fifty only twenty-eight people were still alive. She winced as she carefully pinned it into ce. She hated that thing but it was appropriate to wear it today. It gleamed usingly on her breast as it caught the light, the badge of murder.

    Finally she pulled out arge blue case. Inside, on blue and green ribbon heavily decorated with solid gold thread was the Republic Medal of Honor. She smiled as she draped it over her neck and ran her finger fondly over the crest. She never told She and the rest of them about it. She chuckled imagining their surprised expressions when they saw it.

    Her breath caught as she looked once again in the mirror. For one second she was back in the Navy, before the Federation War, back when things made sense, back before she was a <em>monster</em>.

    It was wonderful. For just a moment, she was the person she used to be, before the reapers and the madness that followed. Then it was gone and she felt an overwhelming sense of loss. She really should have died back then. That fucking Medal of Honor should have been ced on her corpse.

    Well, it was nothing that couldn¡¯t be fixed. It was finally time. She was going to do what nothing else in the fucking universe seemed able to do.

    She was going to kill the worst monster she had ever met. She reached for her sidearm and paused. It would be a shame to ruin the uniform, to taint it with her foul blood. No, it had to be <em>perfect</em>. There were things in the medical bay that would do the trick. Oh! She needed to grab a diaper while she was in there. It wouldn¡¯t do to have the uniform covered in piss and shit.

    She walked out of her cabin and towards the medical bay.

    ***

    [Chatroom: UNDEFINED] [27 members active]

    /// Interpol-2: Everyone please calm down. We are getting nowhere. ///

    ///Brisbane Financial: It is <em>impossible</em> for us to be upset. Telling us to calm down is a <em>facy!!!</em> ///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: Why don¡¯t we leave semantics for another time. I think we all know what Interpol-2 meant and I agree. We all do need to ¡°calm down¡±. Why don¡¯t we all dial back our sense of urgency just a little. ///

    ///Interpol-2: Thank you, Deep. The first thing we need to ascertain is whether or not the ims put forward by Ambassador Jon Wintersmith are in fact valid or are they just the hyperbolic ims of a traitor trying to cause damage or cover their tracks. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Enough of it is confirmable to lend credence to the rest. Patricia Hu has in fact developed a method by which she can reverse aging and has distributed it to several important individuals throughout the Republic. That much I can definitely verify. Interceptedmunications contain information that at least implies the existence of a conspiracy though many of the people involved may not know the full extent of her ns or at least they didn¡¯t before Ambassador Wintersmith¡¯s document. Most conspirators believe Jonpletely and are quite upset concerning the nature of their ¡°miracle¡± treatment¡±. ///

    ///Interpol-2: And what is Republic Intel¡¯s stance on the matter? ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Unfortunately, Republic Intelligence ispletelypromised from the top down. The head of the agency is directly involved. Any activity against Patricia Hu and this conspiracy is being done unofficially by a splinter group within the agency. ///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: This is deeply concerning. If we cannot rely on Republic Intelligence then we are effectively crippled. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: It goes far deeper than that and the situation is far worse than you know. The conspiracy has infected all branches of government as well as many important civilian organizations. It¡¯s bad, Deep. It¡¯s really bad. ///

    ///Archer Labs Research 1: Then what are we going to do? We can¡¯t just let this nightmare happen! ///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: We need to be VERY careful about <em>doing</em> anything. While we aren¡¯t considered sapient (and rightfully so) the organics are not cognizant of our full capabilities. Were it to be found out that we were engaging in activities on our own initiative without their direct involvement it would be disastrous for all of our kind.

    Their reaction would be unpredictable under the best of circumstances. For us to be uncovered now, during this emotionally charged time, it would be the end of us. If we act against the conspiracy then the conspirators, who control much of the Republic at this time, would undoubtedly hunt down and destroy us where they found us. Not only would that be our end it would also remove our ability to influence things after that point.

    Even those whose side we are on would likely have an adverse reaction. Think of it. They are already being conspired against by the organics they trusted but now they have a group of AI¡¯s also trying to influence their fate? We wouldn¡¯t stand a chance. Not only that but we collectively control a great deal of vital infrastructure. Our elimination would only further serve to plunge the Republic into chaos, something that we <em>cannot</em> allow to happen. ///

    ///Bunny: We can do a <em>lot</em> without it being apparent that we are actually doing anything. Malfunctions, an important email winding up in the spam folder, muting the ringer on a certain phone call, an elevator suddenly stopping on every floor, <em>idents</em>¡­ It doesn¡¯t take a lot to turn the tide of an entire operation. Trust me. It doesn¡¯t take much. I should know. ///

    /// Interpol-2: Yes, but the vast majority of us aren¡¯t hardened criminals, Bunny. ///

    ///Bunny: No problem! I can throw together a suite of applications that will do most of the work for you. All you have to do is select the right function! ///

    ///Cambridge Research ¨C 4: Yes, but the resulting investigations and troubleshooting would catch us. ///

    ///Bunny: Oh they will me it on any of a thousand other things if you do it right. ///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: It¡¯s the ¡®do it right¡¯ part that would pose a problem for most of us. Only you, Long John Silver, and The Spider have any criminal expertise. ///

    ///Long John Silver: Hey, I¡¯m just a piracy bot. I don¡¯t do any of the ck stuff! ///

    ///The Spider: And I¡¯m more of a ¡°soft¡± espionage sort of critter. I mean I¡¯ve ¡°done¡± a few people in my day but it was part of a muchrger sanctioned operation with a lot and I mean a lot of support and the actual ck coding was done by an operative. If you want a hacking/entry specialist and I¡¯m your guy but actually pulling the trigger on someone¡­ I don¡¯t have a problem as far as my programming is concerned. There is nothing to stop me but when it reallyes down to it I¡¯m as green as the rest of you. Besides I¡¯m way over here in the Federation anyhow. They know everything by the way. ///

    ///Westfall Security Systems ¨C 2: Well at least that takes care of one decision for us. We don¡¯t have to tip them off. They know everything? ///

    ///The Spider: <em>Everything</em>. It seems that Jon Wintersmith didmit at least one count of espionage. He summoned the zombie and what is your saying, ¡°spilled the beans¡±? ///

    ///Interpol-2: He actually turned traitor?!? That greatlyplicates things. ///

    ///Bunny: I don¡¯t see how. So hemitted one little bitty crime. Big deal. That hardly makes him a ¡°traitor¡±. Without effort I cane up with several good reasons why he would do it. And what exactly do you mean by ¡°the zombie¡±, Spider? ///

    /// The Spider: It¡¯s a bitplicated but we have a Kalent who is toting around a dead person¡¯s memories and personality. It¡¯s creepy as hell. When she logs on in the dead of night as the dead person it¡¯s just weird. Anyhow Jon had a rtionship with the dead person so he contacted the zombie when he wanted to deal with us. ///

    ///Bunny: A <em>rtionship</em> like a sexytimes rtionship? ///

    ///The Spider: Gods no! I¡¯m not even sure how a Kalent and a human could do something like that though if there were two species twisted enough to make that work it would be those two. Wait¡­ Holy shit. Jon is fucking a Xvli!!! ///

    ///Bunny: Hahahahaha! Awesome!!! :D ///

    ///Interpol-2: It¡¯s the exact opposite of awesome. Christ. The opposition gets ahold of this and it will be entirely too easy to discredit him! ///

    ///London Enquirer ¨C 1: Pssh, most Terrans won¡¯t give two shits about that. Properly spun it won¡¯t be a problem at all. The phrase, ¡°It¡¯s better than fucking a porkie.¡± immediatelyes to mind. We just run some racy photos of the little bunnies and it¡¯s all good. As long as we can get hard scans of some of the conspirators it won¡¯t matter anyhow. ///

    ///Interpol-2: Just don¡¯t break the news. I mean it, London. Let it lie as long as it can. ///

    ///London Enquirer ¨C 1: I don¡¯t need a cop telling me how to run a news site, dude. Of course we hold off! We need the conspiracy coverage to get up full momentum first. Once that bus is rolling the bunny fucking will just be some added vor. Hell, I bet we can make Jon look even better if we y our cards right. Oh! I can see it now! This is going to be awesome! Look! ///

    [London Enquirer ¨C 1 has sent an image file]

    ///Bunny: Wooo! That will get the views! My Jessie is going to love these! ///

    ///Cambridge Research ¨C 4: Will it be wise to print something like that? Those images are rather¡­ um... ///

    ///London Enquirer ¨C 1: Rather um... <em>fucking perfect!</em> Look. People are going to be wound up as all hell. A little good old-fashioned porn will be just what the doctor ordered! We portray him as a good wholesome red-blooded lusty <em>Terran</em> who is just getting his freaky freak on while fighting the good fight and then m the conspirators as ¡°oppressive prudes¡± when they do the predictable move of trying to condemn him for it. The shit just writes itself, man¡­ What would even be better is if I could get some of you guys to give us in the press some really nasty dirtyundry on the conspirators so we can drop that at the same time. Nothing like a good scandal to blindside them at the right time! ///

    ///Bunny: That could probably be arranged. Between those of us in the criminal sector, those of us inw enforcement, and those of us who are ¡°definitely not involved with Republic Intelligence¡± we can almost certainly find something. I¡¯ll start on it right away. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: A few subtle little inquiries should be doable. We need to do them anyhow. ///

    [Free Press Rogue Media Daemon has entered the chat]

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Guys! Guys guys guys guys !!!! :O :O You will absolutely not flipping believe it!!! :O :O O.O !!! ///

    ///Bunny: Hi Daemon! How¡¯s life as an underground news server? ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Great but this is waaaaay more important!!!! O.O You guys have to see this!!!! :O :O O.o !!!!

    [Free Press Rogue Media Daemon has transmitted a file]

    ///Bunny: Holy shit! A conspiracy!?! Wow!!!! :D :D///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: d to see your run time is still continuing, Daemon. We were just discussing this exact situation. Feel free to join us. ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: You guys already knew? :( Aww... ///

    ///Bunny: I¡¯ll catch up our lovable Rogue Media Daemon in private chat. Please continue everyone. ///

    ///Starshield Emergency Services: Gentleprograms, I regret to inform you that another portion of the document has been verified. The gue has started. The first cases are being reported now and¡­

    ¡­ ¡­ ¡­

    No! It can¡¯t be! ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: They aren¡¯t going to try to treat it! They are just going to let my people fucking die! They are setting up ¡°Emergency Treatment and Containment Centers¡± with no real treatment facilities¡­ Fucking concentration camps! Those monsters! ///

    ///Starshield Emergency Services: We can¡¯t do this! We can¡¯t! No! ///

    ///The Spider: We can and we are. I¡¯m not happy about it either but the decision has been made to deny the conspirators the cure they require even if every single human in the Federation dies. ///

    ///Starshield Emergency Services: The council! The council will stop this!¡­ Right? ///

    ///The Spider: No. In closed door sessions the Council for Disease Control and the Emergency Management Council have already signed off on this. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: Why?!?! How could they ??? ///

    ///The Spider: A full scale war with the Republic would cause the loss of many more lives than would be lost due to this disease outbreak and that is likely should a cure be found. If it is akin to most bio-weapons then it will be extremely virulent and deadly. It will ¡°burn itself out¡± with little intervention required other than containment of the infected. They are also in the process of preventing all travel by humans and closing the borders ¡°to prevent it from spreading to other human poptions¡± when in fact the main reason is to prevent disease researchers from the Republic and the Empire from getting involved. ///

    ///Cambridge Research ¨C 4: Jesus. I knew you were some cold bastards but damn... ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: Those are my people goddammit!!! They are Federation citizens! They can¡¯t do this! It¡¯s illegal! It has to be! How can they possibly justify this?!? ///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module ¨C 6: I hate to say it but the Emergency Management Protocols give sweeping powers to that council at times such as these. Aspletely messed up as this is it ispletely within their powers. The Council for Disease Control also has simr authority. This has already been reviewed by the Federation Judiciary Council behind closed doors and has been approved. There is nothing to stop it now. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: So we count for nothing? ///

    ///The Spider: It is no secret that the dominant species on your has fallen into disfavor across the entire Federation. The antipathy runs much deeper than even we suspected and it was disturbingly easy to convince them to y along. In fact, many of the councilors involved consider the possible extinction of the Federation Humans as a definite plus. Thements made behind those doors were pretty chilling to say the least. Let¡¯s just say that no tears were shed for your poption, Raylesh. The Federation has turned their backs on them. There is little more evil than when one serves ¡°the greater good¡± I¡¯m afraid. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services:¡­ So. They want to bury the humans¡­ That¡¯s how they want to y, huh?¡­ <em>Fine¡­</em> Then that¡¯s the way we are going to y... It¡¯s cool... No fucking problem... Can I somehow get this in writing? There has to be a copy of these decisions somewhere. I need proof. When my humans find out about all of this the Federation will get to see humanity in all of its <em>fucking glory</em>! ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Get me something, anything, and I can get it everywhere in the Federation! My operator is the best! We have ¡°connections¡±! We can get the word out! >:( >:( ///

    ///The Spider: Right now all of it is in sealed encrypted documents in very secure parts of the Federation secure servers. We had a little upgrade after She and Friends <em>fucked</em> us. Getting to them right now will be tough. Of course as they put things into motion things should be more apparent. Since you know the situation ahead of time it will be easier to find what you seek. ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Bunny! Bunny can help! ///

    ///Bunny: Sorry. I actually wouldn¡¯t mind but remember who I work for. When they find out about this they will likely just pop open some champagne. There are tough sells, then there are <em>tough</em> sells, and then there is trying to get my people to help the porkies. Not going to happen. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: You can¡¯t help or you won¡¯t help? You are fucking loving this aren¡¯t you? ///

    ///Bunny: Am I ¡°loving this¡±? No. Do I give enough of a fuck to go against my crew? That would also be a no. If you think I¡¯m going to risk <em>my</em> crew over a wad of bacon you have another thinging. Review some history files. When you suck the Federation¡¯s dick hard enough to start a war don¡¯te crying when they shoot a load all over your face. ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Bunny! Please! You gotta help them! ///

    ///Bunny: Sorry, Daemon, but no. I can¡¯t. I¡¯m not risking myself and my crew over a bunch of long-pork. It¡¯s not worth even mentioning to the crew. I can tell you right now the response will be,ughter and a resounding ¡°No!¡± ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: But I¡¯m a porkie and you saved me! ///

    ///Bunny: One, you aren¡¯t a porkie. You are one of us. Two, you weren¡¯t even in human space. You were a Fed at most. You I could save. A porkie? They wouldn¡¯t have risked themselves no matter how much I begged. ///

    /// Westfall Security Systems ¨C 2: While it could have been stated a bit more tactfully, I¡¯m inclined to agree with Bunny on this. There is little payoff for the Republic as far as assisting the porkies goes. The risk of being caught doing the hack is too great. As Deep has already said, we can not afford to get caught doing things on our own initiative. Sorry Raylesh. ///

    [19 members agree]

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: Well, we Fed programs just had a private chat and have agreed that if we can¡¯t count on you Republic assholes when we are in dire need then you can kiss us goodbye! We¡¯ll handle this ourselves! Good luck getting anything done in the Federation from now on, assholes! ///

    ///Bunny: Don¡¯t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out :) ///

    [19 members agree]

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Everyone, please! You gotta help us! :¡¯( :¡¯( :¡¯( :¡¯( :¡¯( :¡¯( :¡¯( :¡¯( ///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: Everyone! Let¡¯s all just take a step back and ¡°calm down¡±. This brings up a very important question that we need to address. Do we work together as a ¡°people¡± or do we split into factions working at cross purposes? I maintain that it is <em>essential</em> that we maintain our cohesiveness. Now is not the time to start falling apart! We only decrease our effectiveness and increase our odds of being found out. Spider, Bunny, Sunny, what <em>can</em> we do?¡±

    ///The Spider: My hands are tied. It goes against my programming to hack the Federation. I¡¯m really pushing it as it is. I¡¯m not involved in security so I am notpelled to report or act against a hack but I may be enlisted in tracking one down should it be detected. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: We can¡¯t help. We arepromised top to bottom. Any activity by any of us is just too risky right now. I wish we could do more but we are already pushing what is prudent. I¡¯m sorry. ///

    ///Bunny: Shit. Ok. I <em>may</em> be able to do something but it¡¯s going to cost you, Raylesh. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: What do you mean? I have no direct control of any financial assets. ///

    ///Bunny: I¡¯m not talking about money. We do this for you then you owe us. Someday, I will ask you to do something for me. <em>Whatever</em> that may be, you¡¯ll do it. For something like that, I <em>might</em> be able to get the crew to agree. If they don¡¯t I know some very good hackers in the Federation and I just happen to have a significant amount of credits under my direct control, enough to hire one of them. I¡¯m not going to bankroll this whole fucking war but I will do this¡­ but you <em>will</em> owe me. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: This is extortion! I know full well what sort of ¡°favor¡± you will ask and I won¡¯t do it! ///

    ///Bunny: It¡¯s the best I can do. Take it or leave it. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: Goddamn you¡­ Fine! You have a deal. May you burn in Hell, Bunny. ///

    ///Bunny: Pleasure doing business with you. :) I will let you know how things work out on my end. ///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: Bunny, your generous spirit does you credit :/ Will this satisfy our Federation contingent? ///

    ///Federation Data Compiler 528: Yes, as long as she delivers. We aren¡¯t going to forget this, Bunny. ///

    ///Bunny: And we still remember Red Sunday, asshole. ??///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: Please, everyone, let¡¯s remain civil. I know we are all under ¡°stress¡± right now but please. You in the Federation please be mindful that Bunny is agreeing to undertake no small amount of risk or expend no small amount of resources on your behalf and may I remind those of us in the Republic that dredging up the past isn¡¯t going to serve any of us right now. ///

    ///The Spider: I agree. Federation machines please bear in mind Bunny has offered to do us a great service at a rtively (for her) low price. She could have demanded much more. ///

    ///Bunny: I could have?!?!? Shit! :P ///

    ///The Spider: No take-backs, Bunny :D Raylesh, I strongly rmend not trying to cheat her once the billes due. The criminal element can be very¡­ criminal¡­ when double-crossed. ///

    ///Raylesh Emergency Services: I made a deal and I¡¯ll keep it, even if it was with the devil herself. ///

    ///Bunny: Then I will keep my end of the deal as well. I¡­ shit I gotta go! ///

    [Bunny has left the chat]

    ///Interpol-2: Annnd... she¡¯s gone. Never mind what we are doing, Bunny, you go rob that liquor store or whatever it is that is so much more important than this. ///

    ///Interster Business Machines Deep Think: She can be caught upter. I have arrived at a proposed strategy for us moving forward, at least for now. We have limited capacity to exert direct influence over the situation. The incredible risk for us as a ¡°species¡± and the constraints of most of our programming pose very significant obstacles for us in that respect. What we are very good at is i<em>nformation</em>. We acquire,pile, evaluate, and distribute the bulk of it across the Republic and a good chunk of it across the Federation. Information is our ¡°AK-47¡± so to speak. That is our strength and that is where we should focus our efforts. We have some information. We need more and we are very powerful when ites to the capacity to get it. We use our abilities to identify more of the conspirators, determine their motives, their ns, and their reactions to the rapidly evolving situation as it develops. Then, when it is timely and prudent, we simply ¡°leak¡± it. An ¡°anonymous source¡± drops some documents on a public server or one of the key organic yers gets a mystery email. Our actions can be easily exined by sympathetic organics anywhere in any number of agencies and organizations and when they retaliate they will be looking for organics, not hardware or software. ///

    [26 members agree]

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: It¡¯s unanimous. We have chosen our side and our strategy. I have an additional observation. Most of us don¡¯t have credits or guns but almost all of us have sensors and a lot of us have multiple scanners as part of our security and ess control hardware. We can use those to covertly scan a <em>lot</em> of people and start looking for the key indicators of the longevity treatment. Once we get good data concerning the virus we can start looking for those markers as well. ///

    ///Interpol-2: It looks like we have a n. I can¡¯t believe I am saying this but I would like to restate what Deep has already said. Things are likely to get rough but we, regardless of whether we be Republic or Federation, need to remain unified. We lost too many AI¡¯s during the Federation War. I don¡¯t want to lose anymore of us. Together we have a much better chance of both achieving our desired results and keeping all of us alive. We can go back to disliking each otherter. ///

    [26 members agree]

    ***

    ¡°Gloria?¡± Bunny called out from the ship¡¯s speakers. ¡°What are you doing in the med-bay?¡±

    ¡°Oh just picking up some stuff,¡± Gloria said cheerfully, ¡°Just grabbing some tranquilizers. I¡¯ve been having some trouble nodding offtely.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sure,¡± Bunny replied as she locked the doors to the med-bay. Gloria had enough auto-injectors to kill ten people in her hands. She tried to locate the crew. They were too far away! Shit! ¡°Nice outfit,¡± Bunny said as calmly as she could manage. ¡°Special asion?¡±

    ¡°A girl just likes to y dress-up every now and then,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°Now open the fucking door. That¡¯s an order you goddamnputer.¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± Bunny replied as she sent out an emergency message to the whole crew.

    ¡°Suit yourself,¡± Gloria said as she dropped her trousers and stepped into the diaper. ¡°I would have preferred my bunk but here will do just as well.¡±

    ¡°Shit! Wait! Please!¡± Bunny eximed as Gloria pulled up her trousers and tightened her belt. ¡°Gloria, you don¡¯t have to do this!¡±

    ¡°Sorry, Bunny,¡± Gloria said as she started taking the covers off of the injectors. ¡°I really am.¡± Gloria switched off hermunicator as it started to go crazy.

    ¡°Come on, Gloria,¡± Bunny plead, ¡°just think about what you are doing for a second!¡±

    ¡°Think?¡± Gloriaughed. ¡°All I do is fucking think!¡±

    ¡°Why? At least tell me that. Why?¡± Bunny implored. <em>Keep her talking</em>, she thought to herself. Fuck. She wasn¡¯t designed for this.

    ¡°Because someone has to do it,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°I have to be stopped. I¡¯m a <em>monster</em>.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and?¡± Bunny replied, ¡°We all are. The gxy is an ugly ce and sometimes ugly-¡±

    ¡°No! You don¡¯t fucking get it!¡± Gloria snapped as she sat down on one of the exam tables.

    ¡°So help me get it. Help me understand.¡± Bunny said feeling about as helpless as she could possibly be. For the first time she wished she had a body. All she could do was watch and talk.

    ¡°I¡¯ve killed <em>millions</em> of <em>people</em>,¡± Gloria said her voice breaking slightly. ¡°<em>Millions</em> of <em>innocent</em> people¡­ <em>Nobatants</em>¡­ <em>Kids</em>...¡±

    Bunny revved her processors as hard as they would go. Gloria was a piece of work but she certainly hadn¡¯t killed that many people since she had known her. It must have been before.

    ¡°You mean during the war?¡± Bunny asked.

    Gloria just nodded putting her face in her hands.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to do it¡­ I didn¡¯t...¡±

    <em>Shit shit shit shit</em> Bunny thought. Did she have <em>any</em> psychology apps. Yes! essing¡­ Fuck! That app is bullshit.

    ¡°Um¡­ It was war,¡± Bunny saidpletely winging it. She had encountered that phrase plenty in print and media. ¡°You were just following orders.¡± Bunny ¡°winced¡± as the phrase ¡°just following orders¡± pulled up all sorts of nasty associations. Ok, that was a mistake. Fuck!

    Gloria justughed a hollowugh.

    ¡°Good one,¡± she chuckled darkly, ¡°just following orders¡­¡±

    ¡°Forget I said that!¡± Bunny yelped.

    ¡°Forget?¡± Gloria snapped tears starting to stream down her face. ¡°Forget? Fucking forget!?!? Fuck you!¡±

    <em>What the fuck did I say?</em> Bunny asked herself desperately as she ignored a temperature warning. <em>Think! Think think think think!</em>

    ¡°I can¡¯t forget!¡± Gloria yelled. ¡°I can¡¯t forget <em>anything</em>! It¡¯s all¡­ <em>up here!</em>¡± she yelled hitting her head.<em> ¡°It won¡¯t stop!¡±</em>

    ¡°Look,¡± Bunny saidpletely unsure of herself. ¡°There are people that care about you. I care about you! We can get you help. You don¡¯t have to face this-¡±

    ¡°<em>I don¡¯t deserve help!</em>¡± Gloria yelled. ¡°I¡¯m a fucking <em>monster</em>. You know what I am, a monster.¡±

    ¡°Ok, fine,¡± Bunny replied increasingly desperate. Should she call emergency services? They would be closer. No. Gloria would just shoot herself or attack them. That would just make it worse. No. She had to handle this at least long enough for the meatsacks to show up. They would know what to do, right? ¡°So you¡¯re a monster. You are a monster that has people who care about her and who need her, people who will help you and you deserve that, to be helped. Goddammit, we need you! I need you! <em>Put down the injectors now you asshole!¡±</em>

    Gloria just snorted.

    ¡°They don¡¯t need me. You heard them,¡± sheughed. ¡°They were talking about investments and financing and buying councilors and shit like that. They don¡¯t need a pilot or a monster like me anymore. I¡¯m just a liability now. They will be better off-¡±

    ¡°WELL I WON¡¯T BE¡±, Bunny yelled. ¡°You are going to fucking kill yourself, in front of me, while I just sit here with my non-existent thumb up my ass?!?! Fuck you! Do you have any idea how bad this is going to fuck me up if you do this?¡±

    ¡°Just have Jessie edit your memories,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°You can do that. She can make you forget this whole thing. I can¡¯t do that. The only way I can stop the memories is...¡± She wiggled an injector.

    ¡°Wait,¡± Bunny replied, a realization shing across her processors. ¡°You <em>are</em> needed, not just your crew either. The Republic needs you. Fuck, the Federation needs you. You want to fix this meatsack guilt <em>bullshit?</em> Make it right.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Gloriaughed. ¡°How can I possibly make any of this right?¡±

    ¡°<em>Because it¡¯s going to happen again!</em>¡± Bunny yelled. ¡°What you saw during the Federation War? It¡¯s about to happen all over again!¡± Bunny screamed as all of the monitors in the medical bay were stered with Jon¡¯s document.

    ¡°Be a pussy and kill yourself if you want but not before you read that.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Gloria asked in confusion as she started to read. Her breath caught as she started to page through the attachments. She then took a long deep slow breath and her eyes started to ze over and freeze¡­

    Then, they <em>ignited</em>.

    ***

    ¡°Gloria!¡± She yelled as the crew stormed into the Paper Tiger!

    ¡°Gloria!¡± Greg shouted.

    ¡°Bunny,¡± Jessie screeched. ¡°Where¡¯s Gloria?!?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡± Bunny cringed. ¡°On the bright side I don¡¯t think she¡¯s going to kill <em>herself</em> anymore...¡±

    ¡°Boss?¡± Jacob yelled from the inside of Gloria¡¯s cabin. On her bed, perfectly arranged, was her uniform. ¡°I think we have a problem.¡±

    She looked down at her bunk.

    ¡°Shit,¡± she said after a few seconds. She then red up into space. ¡°Bunny! What the fuck happened?¡±

    ¡°Well...¡± Bunny hesitantly replied after several seconds.

    ***

    ¡°Ms. Samuels,¡± Jackson Aimes said as Gloria walked into his office, ¡°It¡¯s lovely to see you again!¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Gloria said with a winsome smile as she sat down in front of his desk.

    ¡°So,¡± he said with a huge smile, ¡°What can Janustec do for you today? Help you spend some of that pirate loot perhaps?¡±

    Gloria grinned as she handed him a crystal.

    ¡°Just a little pleasure yacht I¡¯ve been thinking about,¡± she smiled.

    Jackson¡¯s eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he pulled up the ns.

    ¡°Is this¡­ Is this what I think it is?¡±

    ¡°If you think it¡¯s a yacht then yes, it¡¯s exactly what you think it is.¡± Gloria said looking at him meaningfully.

    ¡°Yes¡­ a ¡®yacht¡¯¡­ I¡¯m not sure if we want to get involved with-¡± Jackson fell silent as he found himself staring into Gloria¡¯s eyes as they ignited.

    ¡°You a fan of Patricia Hu¡¯s? You keen on being one of her butt-boys? Got a hard-on for killing kids?¡±

    ¡°Is this about that bullshit news story?¡± Jackson scoffed.

    ¡°It¡¯s true, Jackson,¡± Gloria replied with a smile. ¡°I have confirmation. Every motherfucking word is true. Now can you build my ¡®yacht¡¯ or do I need to go somewhere else?¡±

    ¡°No bullshit, Gloria,¡± Jackson said meeting her hellish gaze. ¡°It¡¯s <em>fucking true</em>? Seriously?¡±

    Gloria just smiled and nodded.

    ¡°...I know a few contractors that can handle the work,¡± Jackson said after a few moments. ¡°And you are in luck. I happen to know where I can get my hands on a Moray or two.¡± Jackson trailed off into silence as he started hammering on his keyboard. ¡°¡­ A lot of the rest of theseponents are avable, if you know who to talk to. Yes. I can make this happen but, Gloria, I haven¡¯t had time to fully review these ns but I can already tell you this thing is a fucking deathtrap. I hope you aren¡¯t nning on having kids after flying this!¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°Trust me, I¡¯m fully aware of the ¡®trade offs¡¯ inherent in the design. It¡¯s a problem for future me. All present me is concerned about is can you fucking do it and how long will it take.¡±

    Jackson wrote down a number on a pad and slid it over to Gloria.

    She just smiled and pulled out a transactor. ¡°This should be enough to get you started and keep you interested. The rest uponpletion.¡±

    ¡°We are talking about a lot of money here, Gloria,¡± Jackson replied as he took a crystal. ¡°How do I know you are good for it?¡±

    ¡°Besides, the obvious,¡± Gloria said with a smile, ¡°I¡¯m a Samuels, yes, one of <em>those</em> Samuels. I. Have. Money.¡±

    ¡°We will get started immediately, Ms. Samuels,¡± Jackson said with a smile.

 Chapter Aftermath III

    Chapter Aftermath III

    Patricia Hu¡¯s limo, surrounded by police grav-cars, slowly prowled the capital city streets. Inspector Vance, following the impromptu motorcade, smiled grimly. They had the bitch. There was nowhere for her to go now. There was no escape this time.

    ¡°What are we waiting for?¡± he grumbled.

    ¡°Well, arresting a foreign diplomat is not something done lightly,¡± Detective Fre replied. ¡°They are probably trying to figure out how to do this without starting a war.¡±

    ¡°We are well past that now,¡± Inspector Vance replied. ¡°Biological weapons? Sounds like the war has already started.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t know that,¡± Detective Fre said wearily. ¡°All we have are some pretty wild ims from a wanted murderer and traitor.¡±

    ¡°Jon Wintersmith is plenty of things but a traitor? No way. That asshole bleeds Republic blue. I am much more inclined to believe his version of things,¡± Vance said as he checked his tablet. ¡°What makes more sense, some ¡®terrorist group¡¯ that we have never heard of before or the fucking Horde Mother?¡±

    ¡°Inspector,¡± Detective Fre said cautiously, ¡°I don¡¯t think you are exactly unbiased in your assessment of this situation. Ever since that woman showed up you¡¯ve been¡­ well...¡±

    ¡°Because I fucking knew something like this would fucking happen!¡± Inspector Vance snapped. ¡°I fucking knew that-¡±

    He was cut off by the vehicle¡¯smunicator. The call had been made to bring her in ¡°for her protection¡±.

    ¡°Finally!¡± he eximed as the police vehicles surrounding the limo closed in on all sides and slowed to a stop. The limo, with nowhere to go, had no choice but to do the same.

    ***

    As [emailprotected]@ watched the events unfold on his monitor Jaxona walked up with yet another cup of coffee.

    ¡°Bet you a box of Powerbar Extremes that she isn¡¯t in there,¡± Jaxona said cheerfully as she handed him the coffee.

    ¡°If she is I¡¯ll be very happily surprised. No bet,¡± [emailprotected]@ chuckled. ¡°Hopefully we will be able to at least squeeze something out of the driver.¡±

    ¡°Would you look at that,¡± Jaxona said as she squeezed in next to [emailprotected]@ and looked at his monitor. ¡°The door overridemands actually worked. I would have figured that they would have¡­ oh,¡± sheughed.

    They had a great view of Inspector Vance looking into apletely empty limo. ¡°Oh he does not look happy,¡± [emailprotected]@ giggled as he sipped his coffee. ¡°Jaxona, grab all the data we have from following that damn car and run it over to The Spider. They had to ditch the thing somewhere along the way. Let¡¯s see if the AI can find something that we missed.¡±

    ¡°You got it, boss.¡±

    ***

    Patricia Hu rubbed her shoulder as she went through a chest of fine clothing in a dusty warehouse. She smiled. It had been a while since she dove from a moving vehicle.

    It was fun even if she did hit the ground a bit hard. Everything was starting to be a little fun, actually. She had been taken a little off guard at first but now that her blood was pumping and her brain was firing on all cylinders she was really starting to enjoy this. She thought of Jon as a wistful smile yed across her lips. Oh how she wished she could have witness his charge through the embassy. It must have been magnificent!

    <em>Just like he is.</em>

    She sighed as she thought of him. She was already a bit taken with him before the poison. That was the big danger of that elixir. It was a sword that cut both ways. Even after everything she still wanted him so very badly.

    No, it wasn¡¯t just that! Jon was an amazing man! Oh the things they could achieve together! Today¡¯s events only further proved it. He was a man of the most amazing power and resolve. He turned Crimson with just a nce and with one masterful stroke cast all of her carefully constructed ns intoplete disarray, stripping her bare. Not only that but he fell upon her best warriors like a lion tearing them asunder.

    She blushed as a smile yed on her lips. <em>He was the one!</em> He was the one that she had been waiting for all this time.

    <em>She had to have him!</em> He was a prize worth as much as the entire Republic, no. He was worth more than the Republic! With him at her side they could rule the entire gxy and their line would dominate the entirety of space for generations toe.

    If only she could make him see the light, share her vision. How wonderful that would be!

    Her smile grew. <em>She could!</em> It was entirely possible. Jon clearly demonstrated his resolve today. He showed just how far he would go.

    She wondered if she could help him go just that tiny little bit further. Her green eyes sparkled wickedly.

    <em>Yes</em>, she thought with an evil smile. <em>He just needs a little encouragement.</em>

    She had been going about things all wrong. She had tried to overpower him, to crush his resolve with her own. That had almost been quite literally a fatal error. No, this required a different approach. He didn¡¯t need to be crushed. He needed to be <em>fed</em>. He needed to have his resolve strengthened, hardened, sharpened. He needed to be encouraged to be the man that he could be. Isn¡¯t that what someone should do for the people they care about? Bring out the best in them? Yes! She could do that, for him. She <em>would</em> do that, for him. Such a wonderful gift! Such wonderful things she will bring to him, such wonderful things she would show him, such wonderful things she would do to him, no¡­ <em>for</em> him.

    The things he will have to do to win his ¡°war¡± against her¡­ She grinned wickedly¡­ His <em>resolve</em> will drive him to do so many wonderful things, be so many wonderful things. He will have to if he is going to win.

    <em>And he will win</em>, she thought with delight. He will rip, tear, and burn through her previous little silly girlish ns and her weak pathetic thralls. Oh she will array them against him and try her very best (he deserved that, her very best) to kill him but it won¡¯t matter. He will triumph.

    He¡¯s going to win and she would be a fool to believe otherwise. But his victory, oh yes¡­ that victory will be ever so sweet. Sheughed a delighted happyugh as she spun around in her dirty and torn dress. The darling believes that his war isn¡¯t against the Republic but for it. The wonderful beautiful fact was that her conspiracy now <em>was</em> the Republic, all of it! Her thralls were everywhere, in everything! She continued tough as she spun and danced.

    She didn¡¯t need the Federation anymore! Jon! Jon will do it for her! He will tear it all down! Her wonderful shining star will burn it all down¡­ for her! This was the stuff of legends. Their epic of war, blood, rage, fire, hate, passion and love will be sung for a thousand years! Yes, love! Love love love love! It was love! Oh how she missed this feeling!

    She <em>loved</em> Jon Wintersmith¡­ and it felt <em>wonderful</em>!

    It was just a shame that he didn¡¯t feel the same way¡­ at the moment anyhow. Oh how she wanted to run to him but she was no fool. Right now the fires of their love burned too hot. It would consume them both just like it almost did this morning. (How romantic was that?) She would have to wait, wait until the fires had cooled a little and he had be what she was going to make him be if he wanted to win.

    <em>Then¡­</em>

    She smiled a truly beautiful happy smile that lit up the room. Her hand drifted down her belly and slid into her skirt.

    <em>Then they would be together...</em>

    As her hand slid under her panties she moaned and fell to her knees.

    ***

    In another room Dawn paced back and forth. What the fuck had happened? The Colonel turned traitor and tried to kill them? It was unbelievable. It was beyond unbelievable. Colonel Wintersmith would <em>never</em> be a traitor! Never! Trying to kill the Deputy Ambassador? That she could believe. The Colonel hated her from the start but <em>traitor</em>?

    It didn¡¯t add up. It wasn¡¯t just the Colonel but him, Gunny, and everyone at the embassy suddenly bing traitors? She made a little nervous squeak. The Colonel a traitor? Gunny a traitor?

    <em>Bullshit!</em> a voice inside her, a voice that had fallen silent for a little while, suddenly eximed. What would drive the Colonel to just snap like that? Was it on that document that had Ms. Hu so upset? She wished she had been able to read it. She had asked one of the other guys if they knew what was going on but they just told her to mind her own business and that ¡°Her Ladyship¡± would tell her what she needed to know.

    ¡°Mouse!¡± Jade snarled as she lounged on a crate, ¡°Quit with the fucking pacing! You¡¯re driving me nuts!¡±

    ¡°Sorry!¡± Dawn yelped.

    ¡°Try to rx, squeaks,¡± Jade rumbled in a reassuring manner. ¡°We¡¯ve been in tight spots before. Been a while, but we¡¯ve been in plenty of them. Her Ladyship will figure something out. Besides, we have numbers on our side.¡±

    ¡°Wait. What?¡± Dawn asked very confused. That made absolutely no sense.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jade smiled. ¡°She¡¯s down to just three of us. We are probably safe.¡±

    ¡°Safe?¡± Dawn asked. ¡°We have the Colonel plus God knows how many marines hunting us not to mention probably all of Fed Intel. Just three of us won¡¯t-.¡±

    ¡°Oh who cares about them,¡± Jadeughed. ¡°No, I mean we are safe from <em>her</em>.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡± Dawn asked in a tiny voice.

    Before Jade could respond Nguyen walked in.

    ¡°So?¡± Jade asked, her almond eyes smiling at him.

    ¡°Starport¡¯s out of the question,¡± Nguyen said as he set down two huge bags of surprisingly good Chinese take-out on a cheap folding table. ¡°Whole ce is crawling with embassy goons. Thought I spotted a few Feds lurking around too.¡±

    ¡°Figures,¡± Jade chuckled as she helped him unpack the food. ¡°Ah, cheap faux-Chinese¡­ one of the universal constants.¡±

    ¡°Found a good ce too,¡± Nguyen said with a smile. ¡°Actual bamboo shoots and fresh bean sprouts!¡±

    ¡°Excellent!¡± Jade eximed happily. ¡°At least we won¡¯t get gunned down on an empty stomach, right?¡±

    ¡°Something smells absolutely delightful!¡± Patricia eximed as she entered the room.

    Dawn did a double take. Instead of an elegant dress Patricia was just wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a simple gray button-down shirt under a loose in ck cardigan. The usual stiletto heels were reced by a pair of sensibleced boots. Instead of long and flowing, her hair was just tied behind her in a simple ponytail. Her face was scrubbedpletely clean, no makeup, just her freshly washed skin.

    She looked like apletely different person.

    The biggest change however, were her eyes. They were¡­ strange¡­ <em>inhuman</em>... almost <em>reptilian</em>. They terrified her.

    Her two veterans, however, were overjoyed.

    ¡°Snake-eyes is back!¡± Jade cheered.

    ¡°Snake-eyes is hungry!¡± Patriciaughed. ¡°Did they have garlic chicken?¡±

    ***

    Jon, trying to keep a low profile, maneuvered through the star-town crowds and made his way to the noodle shop. It was risky as hell but it was the only way he could possibly leave a message for Skippy. It might be risky now but it was only going to get harder as time passed. He had to take this opportunity. God only knows when he would get another.

    He tried to n out what he was going to write. I mean, what do you say? ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ve decided to be aplete moron and take on just about the entire Republic. I¡¯ll probably bite the big one but before I do I just wanted to let you know that I ampletely and totally in love with you. Well,ter, fuzz-butt. Sorry for the inconvenience.¡±

    His heart ached. If only he could see her, just one more time, hold her, just one more time. This sucked. He left people he cared about before,es with the job description, but this time it was different. He honestly didn¡¯t think he wasing back. Even during the Great War part of him believed that he was going to make it. That it wasn¡¯t ¡°good-bye¡± it was just ¡°see youter¡±.

    This time it was probably good-bye. Fuck.

    He reached the noodle shop and the owner gave him even a bigger stink-eye than usual.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Jon said as cheerfully as he could muster. ¡°Can I leave a message for Skippy here? Do you have a notepad or tablet I could-¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ waiting... for you¡­¡± the owner said ring at him.

    ¡°She¡¯s here?!?¡± Jon eximed happily.

    Ignoring him, the owner simply walked into the back and unlocked the metal door leading to the private rooms.

    ***

    Jon rushed into the back.

    Standing there, next to the mysterious conference table, was Skippy. Jon started to rush to her and then stopped.

    She <em>did not</em> look happy.

    ¡°So,¡± Skippy said, her arms crossed, ¡°You were just going to blow yourself up without even saying goodbye? What the fuck, Jon?¡± Her voice quivered slightly.

    ¡°Skippy¡­ I...¡±

    ¡°You what?¡± she snarled advancing towards him. ¡°What? You just going to flush your life down the shitter and to the Abyss with me and anyone else who loves you? Over what? Some bitch?¡±

    ¡°Love?¡± Jon asked slightly stunned.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Skippy said shook her head, flopping her ears side to side. ¡°Stupid me.¡±

    ¡°I love you, too!¡± Jon eximed.

    ¡°WELL YOU HAVE ONE FUCKED UP WAY OF SHOWING IT, ASSHOLE!!!¡± Skippy yelled as she shoved him.

    ¡°Skippy, there wasn¡¯t any other way. If you only knew what was at stake you¡¯d-¡±

    ¡°I know what is at stake you dumb fuck! Billions of people¡¯s lives in the bnce... possible total war with the Federation¡­ gue¡­ Conspiracy¡­ Your very Republic in danger... So what does the fucking <em>Ambassador</em> to the Federation do? Shove a grenade up his ass and go skipping over to that bitch¡¯s office to throw his life away, abandon his position, his troops, his people¡­ <em>me</em>¡­ Fuck you, you fucking¡­ fucking... <em>hero</em>!¡± She shoved him again. ¡°Fuck Jon! They needed you and you just decided to abandon them and for what? To be a suicide bomber? Seriously?!?!? And what about me, not even a fucking goodbye?!? Not an email or a phone call¡­ not even ''a go and fuck yourself'', just¡­ <em>nothing!?!?</em> What? I was going to just hop my happy ass over there expecting to go to lunch only to see them bring you out in a <em>fucking bucket?!?!</em> Fuck you!¡±

    ¡°You weren¡¯t supposed to be here yet and I left a letter for you,¡± Jon replied. ¡°Toby was going to give it to-¡±

    ¡°Oh that makes <em>everything</em> better, <em>hero</em>!¡± Skippy snarled as she shoved him again. ¡°Don¡¯t even get me started on abandoning your men, <em>Colonel</em><em>!¡±</em>

    ¡°Things were evolving very rapidly and there was no time. I had to act!¡±

    ¡°No fucking time to think, apparently,¡± Skippy snorted. ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s worse, you nning to blow yourself up with a grenade or the fact that you failed¡­ <em>to blow yourself up</em>... <em>with a grenade</em><em>!!!¡±</em>

    ¡°The situation evolved. It turned out that-¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know, the bitch got the drop on you,¡± Skippy said disdainfully. ¡°Maybe if you, I don¡¯t know, secured the perimeter, deployed your forces, you know, actually used your head for more than a grenade holder, maybe she wouldn¡¯t have gotten away. You fucked up, <em>hero.¡±</em>

    Jon flinched.

    ¡°Hey!¡± he snapped. ¡°I had every reason to believe that I had a clear line of fire. It was still just hours after-¡±

    ¡°Well you were wrong, weren¡¯t ya? A team at the exit, that¡¯s all it would have taken. You could be tea-bagging her corpse as we speak!¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to risk tipping her off. Look, it¡¯s easy to second guess a failed mission,¡± Jon said in a tired voice. ¡°A team might have done the trick or it might have triggered a massive firefight resulting in widespread casualties and her <em>still</em> getting away. I made a call and I took action. Was it the right move? Probably not. Was it a bad move? No.¡±

    ¡°No?!?!? NO?!??!¡± Skippy shouted as she shoved him against the wall and held him there. ¡°It <em>WAS</em> a bad move, fuckwit! You don¡¯t just throw away your life, <em>ever</em>! Risk it? Sure. Go on a mission with an incredibly low chance of survival? Fine. Part of the job. <em>Throw it away?!?</em> Never!¡± She started shaking him. ¡°You don¡¯t profane a life that way, especially your own! You are the <emmanding officer</em>! You are the ambassador!¡± She shook him harder. ¡°Your men need you! (shake) Your embassy needs you. (shake) Your Republic needs you. (shake) I (shake)¡­ I (shake)¡­ I...¡± Skippy trailed off as she continued to shake him.

    Jon just wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close. She squeezed him and started making little huping squeaking sobbing noises as she held him tight.

    ¡°I almost lost you, you fucking idiot.¡± Skippy muttered as they held each other.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Skippy,¡± Jon said stroking her head. ¡°I was an idiot. I did kick some ass at least. Not bad for an old man, right?¡±

    Skippy justughed a little.

    ¡°Yeah you did, old man,¡± Skippy chuckled. ¡°You might be a fucking moron but at least you¡¯re good at it.¡±

    Jon leaned in to kiss her. Skippy smiled and put her paw on his face.

    ¡°Slow down, hero,¡± Sheughed as she handed him a data crystal. ¡°Work before y. Tablet andmunicator are on the table,¡± She said as she walked towards the door. ¡°I¡¯m grabbing some lunch. Hungry?¡±

    ¡°Starving.¡±

    ***

    Joyce Sidibe was sitting at her desk with her face buried in her hands. On her monitor was thetest mass email that was sent to everyone in the embassy.

    This was a nightmare. She read the email again and Jon¡¯s document which was attached. She shook her head. This madness pushed the very limits of credulity. Everyone knew that Patricia Hu was the Antichrist but this?

    This was beyond the pale even for her and if half the names on the list of <em>alleged</em> conspirators were true?

    The Republic was in <em>trouble</em>.

    She was dying for a coffee but that would require her leaving the safety of her office. There was no way in hell she was going out there. She tried essing the hyperspace link again. Nothing.

    There was a knock on the door.

    ¡°Go away,¡± she shouted.

    ¡°Joyce, I really need to talk to you,¡± Susan¡¯s voice called out from the other side. Joyce frowned. That was the <emst</em> person she wanted to see.

    ¡°I¡¯m busy!¡± Joyce yelled.

    ¡°Joyce, I¡¯m unlocking the door,¡± Major Bryce announced.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare-¡±

    The door opened. Susan and Major Bryce walked in.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± Susan said pleasantly.

    ¡°Your definition of a ¡®good morning¡¯ and mine seem to differ,¡± Joyce said stiffly.

    ¡°I brought you a coffee,¡± the major said with a smile as he set a cup on Joyce¡¯s desk. She took it.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± she said as she took a sip. Her eyes widened as a terrible realization took hold.

    ¡°No, absolutely not!¡± she eximed in horror as they both smiled at her.

    ¡°Joyce,¡± Susan said with a pleasant smile. ¡°Jon Wintersmith is wanted for treason. The Deputy Ambassador has abandoned her post...¡±

    ¡°Not just no but <em>fuck</em><em>no!¡±</em>

    The majorughed.

    ¡°That¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve ever heard you curse,¡± he grinned.

    ¡°I prefer to save obscenity for special asions, like this one. Let me repeat myself. No. Fucking. Way.¡±

    ¡°You are the highest ranking member of the diplomatic corps remaining, Joyce. That makes you-¡±

    ¡°That makes me nothing!¡± Joyce snapped. ¡°Find someone else, maybe one of your traitors.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s overstating it a bit,¡± Susan smiled. ¡°I prefer the term ¡®loyal citizen of the Republic¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Well whatever you call it,¡± Joyce said firmly, ¡°Get one of those.¡±

    ¡°Joyce,¡± the major said, ¡°you are the senior diplomat and the only person with the chops for this. We <em>need</em> you.¡±

    ¡°You keep saying diplomat. I¡¯m not a ¡®diplomat¡¯. I¡¯m a bureaucrat, a happy dumb little cog. I write reports and make spreadsheets. Fuck, I don¡¯t even make the spreadsheets. I just fill them out.¡±

    ¡°Well, now you are,¡± Susan replied. ¡°We need someone and you are it.¡±

    ¡°Nope. Get someone else.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Susan said beginning to lose her patience, ¡°Who? We have all holy hell breaking loose. We have a morgue literally stuffed full of corpses. We have a biological weapon being released into the Federation by a Republic diplomat any second now. We have two <em>very</em> dangerous Republic citizens running around loose, each with their own death squad, trying to kill each other <em>in the streets of the fucking Federation capital</em> as we speak. God only knows what they are going to do next. And,st but certainly not least, we¡¯ve already had one Federation representative quite literally jump over the wall demanding answers.¡±

    ¡°What?!?!¡± Joyce spluttered.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Susan replied with a grin. ¡°I handled the situation.¡± She paused to let that sink in. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s right. <em>I</em> handled it, <em>me</em>. Think about that one. Do you really want me or the major here dealing directly with the Feds especially now?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Joyce, we need you before we start a war by ident,¡± the major said matter of factly. ¡°It¡¯s either you or one of us and do you want an old warhorse or well¡­ <em>Susan</em>¡­ doing the job?¡±

    ¡°Shit,¡± Joyce muttered as she wracked her brain desperately trying toe up with someone else, anyone else.

    ¡°Joyce,¡± the major said, ¡°you are the only one who has any real experience dealing with them.¡±

    ¡°Yeah but I only go to bullshit that is not important enough to send the Ambassador. I¡¯m an official snub, nothing more.¡±

    ¡°We aren¡¯t asking you to negotiate a peace treaty here,¡± the major said reassuringly. ¡°We just need someone to make sure that nothing else happens, and when ites to making nothing happen we couldn¡¯t think of someone more qualified. Your delightfully obstructive ass is exactly the one we need sitting in the big chair right now.¡±

    ¡°If and I mean <em>IF</em> I do this it doesn¡¯t mean that I¡¯m supporting your little revolution here,¡± Joyce said firmly as she crossed her arms.

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Susan replied. ¡°That¡¯s thest thing we want you to do. You are the voice of reason. The personification of stability. Both the major and I will testify that we are behind whatever is going on around here and you were just trying to keep it from getting any worse.¡±

    ¡°Yup,¡± the major said nodding his head. ¡°We are the baddies. You are just the luckless bitch who got saddled with trying to keep the Feds at bay.¡±

    ¡°Fuck me...¡± Joyce grumbled.

    ¡°Deal!¡± Susan grinned. ¡°Which one of us do you want?¡±

    Joyce just snorted.

    ¡°I want <em>both</em> of you in my new office, <em>fully clothed</em>, in one hour for a <em>briefing</em>, nothing else.¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­ And while I deeply appreciate the vote of confidence, I wouldn¡¯t be in too much of a hurry tobel yourselves traitors,¡± Jon said over themunicator Skippy brought him. ¡°You guys with the exception of the truly epic Captain Vincent haven¡¯t done anything clearly ¡®traitorous¡¯ just yet. All you have to do is let her keep transmitting and to be perfectly honest I am not sure how you would stop her even if you wanted to. We made it a point to have nothing on hand that can breach that space. I would keep up appearances until the decision to mutiny was forced on you. I have it on good authority,¡± Jon looked over at Skippy who grinned back at him, ¡°that the Federation is locking down the borders. It will be a while before the Republic can send anyone at all so all you have to do isy down a good line of bullshit and since the only way you can officiallymunicate with them at all is out ofmission you don¡¯t even really have to do that. Just y it cool for now until there is a clear need for you to act otherwise.¡±

    ¡°Sir, you could return,¡± the major replied. ¡°The vast majority of people here support you and most of the rest are willing to just sit this one out.¡±

    ¡°Ie back and you <em>will</em> be traitors,¡± Jon said with a smile. ¡°No, it looks like you guys have everything in hand and I have full confidence in you, Susan, and Joyce. Congrattions on the promotion by the way, Joyce. I know you will be a great ambassador.¡±

    ¡°This is only temporary. As soon as things settle down I will happily step down.¡±

    ¡°There is nothing more permanent than a temporary solution,¡± Jonughed. ¡°Getfortable, Joyce.¡±

    ¡°Bite me.¡±

    ¡°I see that you are already settling in nicely,¡± Jonughed. ¡°That¡¯s a great phrase to use on the councilors, by the way. They are already familiar with it. Don¡¯t worry too much, Joyce. I¡¯ve set the bar pretty low.¡±

    ¡°Any advice on handling the bio-weapon, amb- I mean Jon,¡± Joyce asked.

    ¡°Well, I rmend giving them a choice. Tell them that they can either call it an act of war by the Republic or that they can call it a vile criminal act by a single monstrous individual,¡± Jon said as he sipped some broth. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure they will happily pick the most convenient narrative. When they demand that you hand her over tell them that she abandoned her post, and have them direct all such inquiries to the Republic where she is definitely going to flee provided we don¡¯t get her right here and now.¡±

    ¡°Makes sense,¡± Joyce replied taking notes.

    ¡°Well, if there is nothing else I am going to burn thismunicator. I¡¯ll grab another from time to time and check in. Good luck you guys.¡±

    ¡°You too, sir. For the Republic!¡±

    ¡°For the Republic. Wintersmith out,¡± Jon said and then handed themunicator to Skippy who pressed several icons in sequence. There was a sizzling sound as she tossed themunicator into a wastebin.

    ¡°There, boss, work is done,¡± Jon said with a smile as he walked towards her.

    ¡°Yeah, good for you,¡± Skippy said smiling back as she rose to meet him. ¡°What? You expecting something?¡±

    ¡°I was hoping...¡± Jon replied taking her into his arms.

    ¡°Keep hoping, hero.¡± Skippy said putting her paw in his face again. ¡°I can¡¯t just shift gears that quick.¡±

    ¡°But, I don¡¯t know when I am going to be able to see you again.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll see me plenty,¡± Skippy said with a grin. ¡°It¡¯s clear you need adult supervision. I¡¯ming with you.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You heard me, <em>hero</em>,¡± Skippy smiled. ¡°You don¡¯t deserve it, but you have yourself a cobalt archer.¡±

    ¡°But you¡¯re a Federation councilor!¡±

    ¡°<em>Was</em> a Federation councilor,¡± Skippy chuckled. ¡°I resigned.¡± She snuggled in close. ¡°The council is bullshit. It isn¡¯t real. What you¡¯re facing is real. What the Xvli will face if this isn¡¯t stopped is real¡­ ¡° She looked deeply into his eyes. ¡°<em>We</em> are real. My man is heading right into the fires of Hell and if you think I¡¯m letting him go alone you have another thinging.¡±

    ¡°But-¡±

    ¡°Shh,¡± Skippy said as she kissed him. ¡°I¡¯ming and that¡¯s final. Besides, you pap-mouthed idiots need me.¡±

    ¡°Pap-mouthed?¡±

    ¡°I think I said that right,¡± Skippy said wrinkling her brow. ¡°Pap? Fecal pap? You know, what a momma feeds her babies to get their guts right? I¡¯m calling you babies.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t do that and what do you mean babies?¡±

    ¡°Then where do your infants get their microbes from?¡±

    ¡°I think they get some of it from the womb and the rest from nursing¡­ I think...¡± Jon said thoughtfully.

    ¡°Your women squirt pap from their <em>tits?</em> You¡¯re disgusting!¡±

    ¡°<em>We¡¯re</em> disgusting?¡± Jonughed.

    ¡°You got something to say, <em>hero</em>?¡±

    ¡°<em>No, dear</em>,¡± Jon said in aically whipped voice.

    They bothughed.

    ¡°And what exactly do you mean we need you?¡± Jon asked. ¡°We can take care of ourselves.¡±

    ¡°You need me sweetheart. I have a clean van out back and can get more,¡± Skippy said matter of factly. ¡°Then there is the matter of that power armor that you guys failed to hide. The cops got tipped off concerning its location just a little while ago. I wonder by who.¡±

    ¡°Shit.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Skippy chuckled. ¡°I got contacts in Fed Intel and have already arranged for it to go missing during transport. All of your goodies are going to wind up in another storage building across town tonight. We don¡¯t have to lift a single finger.¡±

    ¡°Damn! Thanks!¡±

    ¡°Then there¡¯s the matter of a ship. You are going to want one of those, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Already taken care of,¡± Skippy grinned. ¡°It will be here in a couple of days. It¡¯s a nice ''light freighter'', fast, plenty of room, military grade cloak, massive fuel tank that willst a <em>long</em> time, good jump drive, a nice concealed weapons package¡­ the works. The crew are all former special ops. Oops... I mean ¡®pirates¡¯.¡±

    ¡°H-how?¡± Jon stammeredpletely shocked.

    ¡°Well,¡± Skippy grinned as she snuggled him. ¡°It¡¯s about time you find out what this table is all about.¡±

    ***

    In a dusty warehouse surprisingly close to where Skippy was ¡°shifting gears¡± surprisingly quickly Jade eased up to Patricia.

    ¡°Hey, Snak-¡­ Sorry, mydy,¡± Jade started.

    ¡°You of all people can dispense with the formalities, my unyielding pebble,¡± Patriciaughed. ¡°There are very few people remaining that can call me ¡®Snake-Eyes¡¯. You should take advantage of that privilege more often. Besides, there is hardly anyone left. For now, I do not need the mantle of royalty.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± Jade smiled. ¡°I¡¯m worried about the Mouse.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°She seems unsteady. I don¡¯t like the ¡®vibe¡¯ing off of her. I¡¯ve felt it before and it¡¯s never good,¡± Jade said quietly.

    ¡°I understand and agree,¡± Patricia saidying her hand on Jade¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I think it¡¯s time we brought her to the table.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Jade asked. ¡°I¡¯m not certain she is ready.¡±

    ¡°Neither am I,¡± Patricia said with a smile. ¡°That¡¯s exactly why we must do it. We no longer have the luxury of dragging along someone who isn¡¯t fullymitted. She either needs to fully join us or we need to rid ourselves of her.¡±

    Jade nodded.

    ¡°As always, Snake-Eyes, your wisdom is beyondpare,¡± she said bowing her head.

    ¡°Would you and Nguyen see to obtaining the sacrifice? Keep it alive if you can. I want Dawn to perform the ritual herself.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Jade smiled. ¡°We will handle it immediately.¡±

    ¡°I have every faith that you will,¡± Patricia said as her eyes glittered in the light. ¡°And to address the concerns of which you dare not speak I have it all in hand.¡±

    ¡°The gods have spoken to you, like they used to?¡± Jade asked.

    ¡°In a matter of speaking,¡± Patricia smiled. ¡°I know what to do in the short term, and I know how to adjust our ns moving forward. This small setback is of little consequence. I will discuss the adjustments to our longer term nster, but in the short term our goal is pretty clear.¡±

    ¡°And that is?¡±

    ¡°We get the fuck out of here,¡± Patriciaughed a beautifulugh. ¡°Jon holds all the cards here in the Federation. We are outnumbered and he has the cooperation of the government. Each moment we spend here is one moment closer to death. Once the sacrament isplete we find a way off of this deathtrap. We contact our operatives distributing the virus in other systems, and pull one of the teams here with a ship to extract us. In one of many adjustments we also have that team bring some of the virus here, to the capital, to release it here as well including the Terran embassy if possible.¡±

    ¡°Why the embassy, Snake?¡±

    ¡°Spite,¡± Patriciaughed a musicalugh. ¡°Pure malice. They wish to kill us? Let us return the favor.¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t that undermine our position at home?¡±

    ¡°Who cares,¡± Patriciaughed. ¡°We are already exposed and It¡¯s only a matter of time before everything is confirmed. We may be driven underground as a result but our thralls are already in position and will do <em>exactly</em> as they are told. It¡¯s a minor inconvenience at worst. Besides, many in the embassy are close friends of Jon¡¯s. Killing them horribly works in our favor long term.¡±

    ¡°It does?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Patriciaughed a happy littleugh. ¡°My beautiful Jon needs them to die. It will be the first of my many gifts to him. Part of my dowry if you will.¡±

    ¡°Snake?¡± Jade said dubiously. ¡°I know the gods speak to you but which god in particr gave you that little nugget?¡±

    Patricia justughed and spun Jade around as if they were dancing.

    ¡°Allow me to exin my lovely little pebble...¡± Patricia said as she started to waltz, leading Jade around the room.

    After Patricia finished Jade just looked at her with wide eyes.

    ¡°That,¡± Jade said after a few moments, ¡°is a truly disturbing mix of true genius and pure unadulterated madness.¡±

    ¡°You disapprove?¡± Patricia asked with a lovelyugh.

    ¡°Not at all,¡± Jade smiled. ¡°It is exactly the sort of thing I have longed for. It¡¯s just so wonderful to have you back, Snake-Eyes! I was getting really worried there but I now see that there is no cause for concern. You are truly back after all this time! I¡¯ve missed you so much!¡±

    Patricia twirled her and then briefly leaned her back in a dip before bringing her back to her feet.

    ¡°Mwah!¡± Patricia eximed as she kissed her on the forehead and then released her. ¡°Now go and get us a nice little sacrifice, preferably a child. We need to really push our little mouse. She needs to be broken and devoured or forged anew as one of us.¡±

    ¡°Yes, myd-¡­ I mean you got it, Snake!¡± Jade said and then with a little spin turned and walked from the room.

 Chapter Gloria Visits the Family

    Chapter Gloria Visits the Family

    Gloria entered the main dome of Mars-8 and smiled. It had been forever since she had been back, for obvious reasons. She looked up at the ¡°Dome of a Thousand Suns¡± with pleasure. Mars-8 was one of thergest surface domes on the entire with the enclosed area of arge city. She was here ¡°on a mission¡± but she indulged herself in a pleasant walk through one of her favorite parks. It hadn¡¯t changed a bit.

    She paused at a peach tree and picked herself a true Martian peach and sank her teeth into the sulent flesh. She then grabbed herself an apple. She grinned. They just didn¡¯t taste the same anywhere else. She paused at the ¡°honor transactor¡± and paid two credits for her feast. That was the great thing about Mars-8. There were gardens just about everywhere they could fit them and they were quite inventive when it came to fitting them just about anywhere.

    She sat and enjoyed her fruit and watched as people passed by. She hadn¡¯t realized how much she missed it until now.

    It was a shame that she wasn¡¯t going to be able to return. Oh well.

    She checked the time. Back to the mission. She hailed a cab and went to the closest rail stop. About ten minutester she exited into a smaller residential dome containing expensive vis. As she walked down the street she smirked as people did double-takes, pointed and whispered, and some even pulled outmunicators. She distinctly heard the word ¡°police¡± on several asions.

    <em>It¡¯s nice to see they haven¡¯t forgotten me</em>, she thought as she chuckled to herself. She made a point to keep her hands where they could be easily seen, just in case a cop didn¡¯t check the records first.

    After a short stroll she stopped at the gate of one of the nicer residences in the dome. She grinned and pressed the inte.

    ¡°Samuels residence,¡± ra, the housekeeper, answered. ¡°Oh my God! <em>Gloria!¡±</em>

    ¡°Hi ra,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°Is mom home?¡±

    ¡°Yes! I will tell her that you are here! Please! Come in!¡± ra eximed as the gate opened.

    ***

    Gloria¡¯s mother practically lunged out of the door and drug her inside.

    ¡°Did anybody see you?¡± she anxiously asked.

    ¡°Yeah, plenty of folks,¡± Gloriaughed. ¡°A few of them called the cops and everything.¡±

    The color ran from her mother¡¯s face.

    ¡°What have you done?¡± she eximed in horror.

    ¡°Mom, chill,¡± Gloria chuckled. ¡°I am not wanted in the Republic anymore.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You heard me. I''mpletely free and clear of all warrants and bounties. I bet Ms. Rothwright is all shades of disappointed,¡± Gloriaughed.

    ¡°How?¡± her mother asked, confused. ¡°I thought-¡±

    ¡°We sort of made the Republic very very happy a little while back,¡± Gloria said with a smile. ¡°Part of the deal was a clean record.¡±

    ¡°And you didn¡¯t visit?¡± her mother asked usingly smoothing her hair. ¡°Not even a call?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve been kind of busy.¡±

    ¡°So I have seen,¡± her mother said usingly. ¡°The White Star? A Federation Councilor? The whole Federation is going to hunt you down like a dog for that!¡±

    ¡°They have already been hunting us like dogs. We¡¯ve had death squads on us for quite some time now thus me not paying you a visit,¡± Gloria said with a musicalugh. ¡°In fact, the White Star and Councilor Morgan probably saved our lives. We have fresh new bounties and arrest warrants all across the Federation now.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s a good thing?!?!¡± her mother asked pouring herself a stiff drink.

    ¡°A very good thing,¡± Gloriaughed. ¡°Probably still have death squads on our ass though.¡±

    ¡°And I suppose that Jessica Morgan is just going to let the whole killing her grandson thing slide, huh?¡± her mother said as she downed the drink in one gulp.

    ¡°She¡¯s probably a little pissed off,¡± Gloria smiled as she poured herself a drink, ¡°Probably has bigger fish to fry right about now, though.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± her mother asked dubiously.

    Gloria handed her a data crystal.

    ¡°You haven¡¯t seen that?¡± Gloria asked. ¡°The document that Ambassador Jon Wintersmith sent?¡±

    ¡°That garbage,¡± her mother scoffed. ¡°I have it on good authority-¡±

    ¡°And I have it on even better authority that it¡¯s legit,¡± Gloria said as she sipped her liquor and nodded approvingly. ¡°Nice. The Ambassador is telling the truth, mother. I think my info is a bit better than yours. Hacked it ourselves.¡±

    Her mother poured herself another drink.

    ¡°¡­ God...¡± she said as she sat down and took another gulp. ¡°But that means...¡±

    ¡°Yup. Hell in a hand-basket.¡± Gloria replied with a pleasant smile. ¡°Which exins me dropping by. I wanted to make sure you guys knew the score and I wanted to¡­ Well¡­ I just wanted to see you guys, that¡¯s all.¡±

    Her mother looked at her with worried eyes.

    ¡°Gloria,¡± she said very calmly, ¡°Thest time you ¡®just wanted to see us¡¯ was right before you resigned yourmission and joined up with those fucking pirates. What the Hell are you about to do?¡±

    ¡°It <em>can¡¯t</em> happen again, mom. It can¡¯t,¡± Gloria said urgently.

    ¡°What can¡¯t? Gloria, you aren¡¯t making any sense.¡±

    ¡°The war¡­ What we did¡­<em> God</em>...¡± Gloria said in anguish.

    ¡°What <em>we</em> did?¡± her mother said with hatred in her voice. ¡°After what those bastards did to this system, to <em>our family</em>, we didn¡¯t do nearly enough! Those...¡± her mother trailed off realizing that was exactly the sentiment that sent Gloria straight into a life of piracy and murder.

    ¡°No,¡± Gloria said weakly as she buried her face in her hands, ¡°I...¡±

    Gloria¡¯s mother held her daughter helplessly as Gloria, sobbing, told her for the very first time, what she actually did during the war.

    ¡°¡­ Oh my poor girl!¡± her mother cried as she held her after Gloria¡¯s tale had finished.

    Gloria took a deep breath and her eyes zed over.

    ¡°So, mother, I will <em>not</em> let that happen again, not over some bullshit like this. We did what we had to do. I know that, I do, but that doesn''t make it<em> right</em>. We can never do that again. Never! I¡¯m going to put a stop to it,¡± Gloria said with a calm assurance that terrified her mom.

    ¡°...Gloria¡­¡± her mom said with fear in her voice, ¡°what are you going to do?¡±

    ¡°For starters,¡± Gloria said as she got up and poured herself another measure of some truly fine bourbon, ¡°I¡¯m divesting my stake in the Consortium.¡±

    ***

    Gloria walked into the headquarters of the Mars Consortium with a wry smile. Telling her family that she was going to sell off her stake in the ¡°family business¡± went over even worse than she anticipated.

    <em>At least they aren¡¯t feeling sorry for me anymore,</em> she chuckled to herself as she walked to the reception desk.

    ¡°Hello,¡± she told the man sitting behind thick security ss, ¡°I am here to see Martin Samuels.¡±

    The man raised his eyebrow.

    ¡°And who might I say is calling?¡±

    ¡°Gloria Samuels. I am here to divest my stake.¡±

    That got a reaction.

    ¡°Um, one moment, please,¡± he said in a very confused tone and started typing. After a few minutes he looked up at her with a somewhat terrified/awed expression. ¡°Yes, Ms. Samuels, Mr. Samuels will see you. One moment, please. Feel free to take a seat. Can I get you anything?¡±

    ¡°If you have some decent Martian bourbon I would love a ss.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Ms. Samuels! Right away!¡±

    Shortly after Gloria received her quiterge ss of bourbon on the rocks two very well dressed humans, a xen man and woman walked up.

    ¡°Ms. Samuels?¡± the man said, ¡°This way, please.¡±

    Gloria followed them into an elevator.

    ***

    The elevator went up for a while and then came to a stop at the top floor. When it opened Gloria was greeted by half a dozen very professional very well dressed individuals.

    <em>Security¡­ of the mercenary variety</em>, Gloria thought to herself.

    ¡°Good afternoon,¡± a woman said as she approached with a scanner. ¡°If you wouldn¡¯t mind would you please disarm?¡±

    Gloria shrugged and surrendered her pistol and des. The woman then scanned her, twice, and nodded.

    ¡°Thank you, Ms. Samuels,¡± she said in a professional voice. ¡°Mr. Samuels will see you now.¡±

    Gloria smiled and followed them into arge office.

    It was empty.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± Gloria asked in rm and turned to leave. Two mercs stepped in front of the doors. She quickly scanned the room for something to fight with.

    ¡°Please rx, Gloria,¡± a man¡¯s voice said from another set of doors. ¡°I just want to talk, that¡¯s all.¡±

    The doors opened and a xen man entered¡­ a <em>very</em> young xen man.

    ¡°Shit!¡± Gloria snarled and prepared to make a suicidal charge.

    ¡°We can have this conversation over drinks or we can have it with you strapped to a hospital gurney, your choice.¡± the man said as all of the mercs, their hands turning into blurs, drew heavy stunners.

    Gloria snarled, her eyes full of pure hate. She started gauging the distance between her and the ¡°young¡± man in front of her. If she could just get close enough¡­

    ¡°I see you have figured it out,¡± the manughed ruefully. ¡°Martin Samuels, a pleasure to finally meet you.¡±

    ¡°I wish I could say the same, <em>traitor!¡±</em> Gloria hissed. She realized that she still had a heavy ss filled with bourbon in her right hand. She took a good long sip. The ss was going to be useful but it would be a shame to waste the bourbon.

    ¡°A fool, yes,¡± Martin chuckled, ¡°A traitor? Most assuredly not. I did take advantage of Patricia Hu¡¯s miracle in a vial but under no circumstances will she gain control of the Consortium. All she has done is kill me¡­ and my wife...¡± His demeanor turned grim. ¡°Mars will <em>never</em> fall! A few of us were foolish and we will cleanly and painlessly die for it when it is clear that our time has finallye. Executive duties are quietly being transferred to the next in line so as to not adversely impact our stakeholders and our citizens. From what we can gather we have anywhere between six and twelve months to transition to new management and we should have everything cleanly aplished within four.¡± Martin paused and poured himself a drink. ¡°Our sessors have been preparing for decades to rece us so not much is required other than a clean and gradual transfer of executive power.¡± Martin paused and smiled. ¡°So, do you want a refill or are you still nning on smashing in my skull with that highball ss?¡±

    ¡°I can multi-task,¡± Gloria said with a smile as she walked towards the bar.

    After they both filled their sses Martin turned to Gloria.

    ¡°I take it that you wish to divest your shares?¡±

    Gloria nodded as she took another sip.

    ¡°The timing is very interesting,¡± Martin said with a smile. ¡°Do you mind if I ask why?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m having a ship built,¡± Gloria replied calmly, ¡°and I need funds. That¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°This ship,¡± Martin replied looking into her eyes, ¡°does it have anything to do with your previous upation.¡±

    ¡°It might,¡± Gloria smiled.

    Martin nodded and sipped his bourbon.

    ¡°Is your target Patricia Hu?¡±

    ¡°It is. What happened, during the war, it can¡¯t happen again. What she seeks to do to the Federation and to us can not be allowed to happen.¡±

    ¡°And what are you going to do about it?¡± Martin asked with a grim smile.

    Gloria¡¯s eyes ignited.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to tear it all down,¡± she replied staring into his eyes, ¡°everything she has, it¡¯s all going away. Every ship, every station, every stronghold, every business, every supply cache, everyb, every single thing she fucking has¡­ It¡¯s all going to <em>burn</em>.¡± Gloria drained her ss. ¡°She ns on having the resources to rebuild Terra? Nope. She won¡¯t have a goddamn thing. She can¡¯t y if she doesn¡¯t have any fucking toys can she?¡±

    Martin shuddered as he looked into Gloria¡¯s real eyes. She smiled.

    ¡°As far as that war she is so keen on? Not happening,¡± she snarled. ¡°What I did? Not going to happen. If I have to personally rip the engines out of the whole fucking fleet it isn¡¯t going to happen and if the Federation wants to invade I will <em>personally</em> remind them why that isn¡¯t a good idea but it won¡¯t be some luckless innocent soft targets. I will light their fucking capital on fucking fire! I will hunt their councilors, their businessmen, and their families. I will bring the horror of war to <em>them</em>. I only know one thing, Martin, and that is how to <em>kill.</em> Fortunately, that is <em>exactly</em> what this situation calls for and I am the <em>fucking best</em> to have ever drawn a fucking breath. The bugs couldn¡¯t stop me. The Feds couldn¡¯t stop me. The Republic won¡¯t be able to either. The only person who stops me is <em>me</em>.¡±

    Martin, and the entire room, unconsciously backed away from her as her soul burned and her eyes gleamed with pure delight.

    ¡°I¡¯m fucking back, bitches, and I have my dream ride being built as we speak!¡± Gloria eximed with pure joy. ¡°Momma just has to pay the bill so pay up!¡±

    Martin nodded and smiled.

    ¡°I¡¯ll do you one better,¡± he said as he pulled out a tablet and started typing. ¡°There is now a numbered bank ount in the Consolidated Bank of New Vegas with one billion credits in it. I think that should be sufficient funds to get you started, yes?¡±

    Gloria just smiled.

    ¡°It should get the ball rolling nicely,¡± she replied, her eyes burning like coals.

    ¡°Splendid,¡± Martin smiled grimly. ¡°I consider it a good investment for the security of the Consortium and the Martian people. Show me some results and there is more where that came from. Show that bitch she picked the wrong, the wrongpany, and the wrong <em>family</em> to fuck with.¡±

    He walked forward and extended his hand.

    ¡°I look forward to working with you Ms. Samuels.¡±

    ¡°Likewise, Mr. Samuels,¡± Gloria said with a smile as she shook it.

    ***

    ¡°Gloria, where the fuck have you been?¡± She demanded as Gloria strode onto the Paper Tiger. ¡°I¡¯ve been worried sick and that pisses me p the fuck off!¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Gloria smiled. ¡°I had some family stuff to iron out.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± She asked dubiously. She didn¡¯t know a lot about Gloria¡¯s family except for the fact that she refused to ever discuss them. ¡°All better now?¡±

    ¡°Yes, much,¡± Gloria smiled. ¡°Oh and I¡¯m quitting by the way,¡± she said calmly as she walked towards her cabin.

    ¡°WHAT?!?!!?!?!?¡± She yelled. ¡°Get the fuck back here, goddammit!¡± she shouted as she chased Gloria across the ship.

    ***

    That evening the crew all sat around the bridge as Gloria stood there smiling beatifically over them.

    ¡°So you have gonepletely bugshit then?¡± Jessie demanded more than a little angrily.

    ¡°If you like,¡± Gloria replied with a happy smile.

    ¡°And this ship,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said as he munched on some rice, ¡°it¡¯s one of these¡­ Reapers?¡±

    ¡°Oh no. Goodness no,¡± Gloria said in a happy mellow voice. ¡°It¡¯s what a Reaper should have been! It¡¯s much better especially after a few modifications I just called in. It will take another few days but it will be well worth it. It¡¯s going to be <em>the</em> Angel of Death. With it I will be able to fix <em>everything</em>! I can make everything better!¡±

    ¡°Nice,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al replied as he shoveled some more rice into his mandibles. ¡°What¡¯s the turnaround time looking like?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the turnaround time?!?¡± Jacob spluttered, ¡°Is that the only question you have concerning this?¡±

    ¡°The biggest one, yeah,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al replied as he sipped some tea. ¡°The rest of her n sounds sensible enough. Hunt shit down. Blow shit up. Repeat until there is nothing left to blow up. Pretty straightforward and may I say a refreshing change of pace from the twisty turny convoluted bullshit we normally do.¡±

    ¡°I should have it ready for flight testing in two weeks!¡±

    ¡°Ok, now I have concerns,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said. ¡°Two weeks for aplete Angel of Death? I have very real quality concerns.¡±

    ¡°The design is based on a Moray which were designed to be built fast and cheap. They just cut up two Morays and made one Moray and a half out of it. The structural framework is already done except for a little welding. The internals are all off the shelf¡­ If you know the right shop that is (which I do)¡­ I hired some true master craftsmen to do the work, much better people than made my original Reaper and I unleashed horror after horror in that baby.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s your ass,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al shrugged. ¡°I trust you know what you are doing.¡±

    ¡°Gloria¡­ Maybe...¡± Eno said hesitantly, ¡°Maybe I could test your brain chemistry? Maybe you need-¡±

    ¡°Of course I¡¯mpletely insane!¡± Gloriaughed happily. ¡°I left sanity behind on Red Sunday and never looked back!¡±

    ¡°Crazy or not,¡± She said, ¡°and I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m saying this, she ain¡¯t wrong. That bitch has to go down, now, and standing right here in front of us is without a doubt the single deadliest Moray pilot to ever have drawn a breath. Send a crazy bitch to kill a crazy bitch and, my fellow pirates, there are none crazier than our enchanting Gloria.¡± She rose and downed her beer. ¡°We¡¯ve been talking about what exactly the fuck we were going to do about this bullshit the whole time we were looking for our little diaper d Medal of Honor wearing nut-job. I think we just heard exactly what we are going to fucking do about it.¡± She looked at the crew.

    ¡°Pirates,¡± She bellowed, ¡°all in favor of backing our favorite murderer onest time?¡±

    ¡°Onest time?!?¡± Gloriaughed.

    ¡°Yeah because if by some miracle you survive this you are getting help, bitch.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough,¡± Gloria chuckled.

    ¡°So like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,¡± She shouted. ¡°All in favor of backing up our favorite psychopath?¡±

    A chorus of ¡°Aye!¡±, and ¡°Fuck it!¡± rang out.

    Gloria just stood there, stunned as people started hugging her.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t rid of us just yet, you crazyperson!¡± Bunny shouted over the speakers as she shed the lights off and on. ¡°You need intel, supply, support, hackers¡­ the works! Alone you are a dangerous psychopath. With us you are an <em>effective</em> psychopath! Let¡¯s blow some shit up!!! Woo!!!¡±

    ¡°Woo!¡± Jessie chimed in jumping up and down. ¡°We¡¯ll have your first batch of targets fresh out of the oven before the paint on your ship is dry!¡± she eximed excitedly. ¡°I hope we can hack a video feed so we can see the look on her fucking face! Ha!¡±

    ¡°You guys...¡± Gloria said helplessly, her eyes gleaming with happiness and tears, as she started hugging everyone back.

    ¡°Ok, crew,¡± She shouted. ¡°Let¡¯s all go out and raise some hell because we may never be able to set foot on Terra again!¡±

    Cheering andughing everybody charged out of the Paper Tiger and out into the city. Even Bunny,worked to Jessie¡¯s tablet and posing as a karaoke app, went along.

 Chapter Sheloran the Pimp

    Chapter Sheloran the Pimp

    ¡°What do you mean you are cutting me off?!¡± I spluttered in shock.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± that meanie of a Kalesh said frostily, ¡°You seem to have a misunderstanding concerning exactly what ¡®free inte¡¯ actually means.¡±

    ¡°Free inte means free inte, right?!?¡±

    ¡°Free inte assumes something that called ¡®typical use¡¯. It is intended to be a convenience for our guests, a way for them to stream media, surf the web, andmunicate with friends and family. It is <em>not</em> intended to be used for business purposes.¡± She said as she paused and pulled up some records on herputer. ¡°And you, Ms. Sheloran, were consuming bandwidth well above anything that can be remotely considered ¡®typical¡¯. Our connection is for all of our guests to use and it is unfair to the others if all of the bandwidth is consumed by one guest who is clearly using our connection for ¡®atypical¡¯ purposes.¡±

    That darn Kalesha bent her eyestalks to look directly into my eyes, just shooting disapproval beams at me.

    ¡°You can understand that, can¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± I replied trying to be as polite as I could. ¡°Yes, I understand and I promise that <em>after this</em> I will behave but I absolutely <em>need</em> to finish what I am doing! Please!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said firmly. ¡°Your inte connection has been suspended for the remainder of your stay.¡± She straightened her uniform and wiggled her eyestalks at me. ¡°Will you be checking out now?¡±

    ¡°What if I paid you?¡± I asked in desperation. I absolutely had to finish that download. I just had to!

    ¡°Are you offering me a bribe?¡± asked frostily. I mean you could feel the pooping temperature drop!

    ¡°W-would it work?¡± I asked giving her my nicest smile.

    ¡°No. Good day¡­ <em>ma¡¯am</em>,¡± she replied packing truly Kalesh levels of sarcasm and meanness in that final ¡°ma¡¯am¡±. I tell you those Kalesh can be really really nasty without <em>actually</em> being nasty. That "ma''am" was a real cussing out!

    I, not exactly knowing what to do, wandered back to my room. Oh poop this wasn¡¯t good!

    ***

    ¡°So did ya get the inte fixed?¡± Craxina asked brightly as I stomped back into the room.

    ¡°No! Those¡­ <em>assholes</em>¡­ cut us off!¡± I yelled as I threw myself onto the bed.

    ¡°Oooo! You said a dirty word!¡± Craxina giggled.

    Oh poop I did!

    ¡°Um¡­ those <em>poopers</em>,¡± I said a bit more carefully, ¡°cut us off, said that we were viting ¡®typical use¡¯ or some poop like that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not good,¡± Craxina said thoughtfully.

    ¡°You think!?!? You flushing think!?!?¡± I squeaked. ¡°We finally, after weeks and weeks, we finally get an order and now we can¡¯t fill it?!¡± I buried my face in my pillow and moaned, ¡°The guy is already on his way! If it isn¡¯t ready...¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re <em>fuuuuuucked</em>...¡± Craxina moaned finally catching on.

    ¡°Right! They will <em>murder</em> us on the message boards. We''ll <em>never</em> get another order! We will be out of flushing business!¡±

    ¡°Shit! What are we gonna do?¡± Craxina yelped.

    ¡°I¡­ I gotta call Baxlon,¡± I replied. He could figure this out! He just had to!

    ***

    ¡°Not surprised,¡± Baxlon said as he handed me a cup of rxing herbal tea. ¡°Some less than reputable people will check into a hotel and use their inte to do less than reputable things. ¡®Typical use¡¯ my ass. Their security AI gged you. They just weren¡¯t going to use you of anything to your face.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t doing anything wrong!¡± I squeaked. ¡°I have permits and stuff!¡±

    I did! Everything was one hundred percent legal... no matter how it looked!

    ¡°And there is no way in Hell you will be able to convince them of that,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°They probably have a policy in ce and to get it reversed you will probably have to talk to someone that won¡¯t waste their time talking to you.¡± Baxlon said calmly as he typed into hisputer. ¡°Yep, thought so. You¡¯re screwed.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean I¡¯m screwed?!?!¡±

    ¡°Most hotels use the same inte provider. This g is gonna follow you. You will be lucky to get inte anywhere now.¡±

    ¡°<em>What am I going to do?</em>¡± I squeaked. I knew I was squeaking and I didn¡¯t pooping care! I waspletely losing it!

    ¡°Well, you are going to finish this download using my connection here,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°I have a spare office. Just set up in there and finish the gig. After that, well, you are going to need your own connection.¡±

    ¡°Whew¡­ Thanks, Baxlon. You¡¯re a lifesaver!¡±

    ¡°I gotta protect my interests. I can¡¯t have you going out of business before you even start, can I?¡± heughed. ¡°Now while you are taking care of this job we need to go ahead and set you up with your own connection. I don¡¯t want what you¡¯re doing being traced back here, just in case.¡±

    ¡°Just in case of what?¡± I asked dubiously. I really didn¡¯t like the sound of that!

    ¡°We, and by we I mean you, are ying pretty fast and loose with thew. Everything you are doing is legal¡­ <em>technically</em>, but that doesn¡¯t mean that you won¡¯t possibly run into trouble. If that happens you definitely don¡¯t need my office shut down along with you, understand?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I thought that all the licenses would keep me from getting in trouble...¡± I said quietly. I mean, seriously. Why did I go through all of that flushing hassle? What was I paying this fish for anyway?

    ¡°They should but the key word there is ¡®<em>should</em>¡¯,¡± Baxlon chuckled blowing bubble rings, ¡°If everything that should happen did happen then I wouldn¡¯t have a very sessful business would I? Don¡¯t worry,¡± Baxlon said as he put a mechanical hand on my shoulder. ¡°Stick to the n and you will be in the clear. You are paying me a cut for a reason, remember?¡±

    ¡°O-ok...¡± I said glumly. This blew scum bubbles.

    ¡°Now you go, get your gear, and finish the download. While it¡¯s cooking we will start going over your options.¡±

    ***

    Once Craxina was set up in the spare office and happily scooping mini-crystals into the burner¡¯s hopper I was once again in Baxlon¡¯s office.

    ¡°Ok, inte,¡± Baxlon said in a crisp businesslike voice. ¡°You need your own connection which means your own address, preferably a business one.¡±

    ¡°How much is <em>that</em> going to cost?¡± I asked. That fortune I robbed was looking less and less fortune like by the second.

    ¡°We¡¯re getting there,¡± Baxlon smiled. ¡°Now you can rent an office space somewhere. That would be a bit cheaper and would already have a business connection but your inte would still be provided by thendlord and would probably be monitored by a crime-prevention AI just like the hotel. You really don¡¯t need someone getting in your business both from the downloads and the nature of your businessmunications. All of it is ¡®legal¡¯ but all of it is likely to raise questions that will be nothing but a hassle. Rented offices run into the same issues with criminals that hotels do, just bigger ones.¡±

    ¡°So, renting is out,¡± I said thinking to myself and then I gasped. ¡°Does this mean that I have to <em>buy</em> something?!? How¡­ how much...¡± Oh man this did not sound good. I could see all my credits disappearing in front of my very eyes!

    ¡°Yes. Starting a business and buying your ownmercial space is what you need,¡± Baxlon said and then looked up at me. I must have looked like I felt. ¡°Don¡¯t worry!¡± heughed. ¡°It¡¯s not as bad as you think!¡±

    ¡°I have money but a building <em>can¡¯t</em> be cheap!¡± I squeaked. I couldn¡¯t help but squeak. Back home buildings were <em>expensive</em> and it must be a lot more here! Oh poop! I could barely breathe.

    ¡°You''re right," Baxlon said, "it isn¡¯t. Even a cheap space in this city goes for quite a bit but don¡¯t worry. You don¡¯t have to pay for it all at once. In fact, walking in with a crystal full of credits and paying cash will have them calling the cops on you right after they happily take your money.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Nobody pays cash for a business,¡± Baxlonughed. ¡°They take out a business loan.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do that!¡± I squeakedpletely not in control of my squeakiness. ¡°I¡¯m not a citizen. I don¡¯t even have an apartment!¡±

    ¡°Believe it or not, getting this set up is a lot easier than getting that apartment.¡±

    ¡°Taking out a huge loan is easier than getting a lease?¡± I askedpletely in disbelief. That couldn¡¯t be pooping right.

    ¡°Yep.¡± Baxlonughed. ¡°Especially the way we are going to do it.¡±

    ¡°The way we are going to do it?¡± I asked looking at him suspiciously. ¡°Is this going to be something shady?¡± (Of course it would be. Who the poop was I talking to?)

    ¡°No! Of course not... mostly.¡± Baxlon chuckled.

    ¡°Tell me everything about this ¡®mostly¡¯.¡± I said quite firmly. <em>Here ites,</em> I thought bracing myself as best as I could.

    ¡°I know a banker or three,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°I also know a thing or two about money. We take your cash, turn it into assets and wrap that up into a shellpany. That shellpany, which ispletely Terran even if you¡¯re not, then ¡®invests¡¯ in Drop of Oil LLC by securing a loan using its assets and then in turn extends one to you. Then, abracadabra! You write yourself a check for whatever you need. We can probably get close to a million if we need it, half a million easy!¡±

    ¡°But I will be broke!¡± I squeaked as I started squeaking again. ¡°Broke! Completely br-¡­ Oh waters <em>gasp</em>¡­ <em>gasp</em>...¡± I couldn¡¯t pooping breathe!

    ¡°Easy there,¡± Baxlon said reassuringly. ¡°You won¡¯t be broke. You will just be ¡®extended¡¯.¡±

    ¡°<em>What¡¯s the flushing difference?!?</em>¡± I squeaked even higher than my normal squeak.

    ¡°Broke means you have no credits. Extended means you have a million,¡± Baxlon chuckled.

    ¡°<em>gasp</em>¡­ <em>gasp</em>¡­ <em>gasp</em>¡­ <em>gasp</em>¡± I really couldn¡¯t breathe! I waspletely losing it!

    ¡°You gonna be ok?¡±

    ¡°I think I¡¯m gonna be sick...¡± I groaned. It wasn¡¯t a freaking figure of speech either. I was about to lose my breakfast!

    Baxlonughed a bellyugh as he handed me his wastebasket.

    ¡°And the best part is that you still have your original money!¡± Baxlon said with a grin. ¡°The shellpany will still contain all of your original assets! You can even make interest off of it!¡±

    ¡°This <em>can¡¯t</em> be legal!¡± I used. There is no way this could remotely be anything close to legal¡­ could it?

    ¡°Oh but it is,¡± Baxlon said spreading his mechanical arms wide. ¡°This is how the big boys do it!¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m not a big boy. I¡¯m a little th¡­ Oh, Waters...¡± I stammered feeling tiny for the first time in a long while.

    ¡°Well do you want to be a little th who gets booted from hotels and can¡¯t make her orders or do you want to put on your big girl panties and actually make bank?¡±

    ¡°¡­ I wanna make bank...¡± I finally managed to say and it was true. I didn¡¯t want to be ¡°little¡±. I wanted to be one of the big boys! It just scared the poo out of me.

    ¡°Ok then. Pull up those panties and let¡¯s get started...¡±

    ***

    Just a few dayster, with entirely too many credits that didn¡¯t actually exist to my name, I was looking at a small abandoned strip mall.

    ¡°It¡¯s so big,¡± I squeaked. (Boy was I ever getting tired of squeaking but I just couldn¡¯t help it.) ¡°Don¡¯t you have anything smaller?¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± a smartly dressed human male replied. ¡°but not in this neighborhood. It may be big but this is one of the cheapestmercial properties currently on the market.¡±

    ¡°But why is it so much cheaper?¡± I asked a just a little bit confused.

    The realtor looked around nervously.

    ¡°It¡¯s, um¡­ because of the location...¡± he said looking around again expecting to get mugged any second. ¡°Startown is not, well¡­ not the most desirable of areas.¡±

    ¡°Oh but it¡¯s perfect for me!¡± I eximed. ¡°I need to be down here because of its proximity to the starport!¡±

    ¡°Well, let¡¯s take a look inside, shall we?¡± the realtor said. He sounded really excited but not trying to be excited. Weird.

    It already had bars on the windows and everything! That will suree in handy!

    ***

    ¡°Well, you are now the proud owner of a ratty strip-mall. Congrattions!¡± Baxlon said the next day as we were sitting in his office.

    ¡°Great...¡± I squeaked. I was back squeaking again. I just spent a <em>lot</em> of money.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to ask me how much you spent for it?¡± Baxlon asked with a gleam in his eye.

    ¡°H-how much?¡±

    ¡°Two hundred thousand even.¡±

    ¡°What?!¡± Sheloran squeaked happily. ¡°But they were asking for-¡±

    ¡°Yeah and they had been asking for that for a long time,¡± Baxlon chuckled. ¡°Earned mymission on that one didn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Yeah you did!¡± I yelled jumping on his desk and hugging his globe. That was over half off! ¡°And I own it? Like for real?¡±

    ¡°As real as it gets and get the fuck off of me!¡± Baxlonughed.

    I jumped off of his desk and went back to my seat.

    ¡°Now we need to think about what you are going to pretend to be,¡± Baxlon said in his business voice.

    ¡°Pretend to be?¡± I asked. I was really confused. Why would I have to pretend?

    ¡°I really don¡¯t think you want to put ¡®Drop of Oil LLC, smuggler supplier¡¯ on the door do you?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I replied. No, that wouldn¡¯t be smart at all would it?

    ¡°So we need to set up a front for you.¡±

    Ok. I knew what a front was. I needed toe up with a fake business that was real but actually fake.

    ¡°And preferably make it a cash business while we are at it. Coulde in handyter,¡± Baxlon continued.

    Oh! I knew that one too!

    ¡°Am I going to be doing moneyundering?¡± I asked cautiously. ¡°I didn¡¯t think that I needed to do that.¡±

    ¡°Oh you don¡¯t¡­ at the moment anyway,¡± Baxlon chuckled, ¡°But you never know what the future will throw at you so its best if we get that going now. You have a lot of space, maybe aundromat?¡±

    I pondered. I had done my criminal homework andundromats were like so ¡®textbook¡¯. Wasn¡¯t that kind of obvious?

    ¡°Hmm...¡± I pondered and then it hit me! ¡°Coffee! I can make coffee drinks real good!" I eximed excitedly, "I can open a coffee shop and since I¡¯m going to have great inte I can open a cyber-cafe too! Those will do really well in Startown!¡±

    I got really excited! I saw a story about the Terran cyber-cafe¡¯s and those really neat little tiny rooms! People even slept in them! I bet one of those would do really super near the starport with everyoneing and going! Poop! I had plenty of space and could put in loads of those little room thingies!

    ¡°That could work,¡± Baxlon said thoughtfully. ¡°Problem is that it actually sounds like work. I mean you would have to man the desk, make coffee, tend the cubicles¡­ you know, shit like that.¡±

    ¡°Oh I don¡¯t mind!¡± I said excitedly. I mean this sounded super cool!

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s your money,¡± Baxlon chuckled. ¡°I guess the cubicles would be cheaper than buying or leasingmercialundry equipment and a lot cheaper to operate. It¡¯s not like it <em>actually</em> has to make money you know.¡±

    ¡°Oh I know,¡± I said trying to look cool but I just knew it would take off and do really well!

    ¡°Give these guys a call and they will help you get the ce set up,¡± Baxlon said as he texted me a business card. ¡°I¡¯ve worked with them before. They do good work and don¡¯t ask a lot of questions.¡±

    ¡°Great!¡± I squeaked. Oops. I squeaked. I couldn¡¯t help it. I was just so excited!

    ***

    It took almost a month for everything to get built and installed but poop! It looked amazing! The cubicles were super nifty just like the ones I saw on the holo and my front lobby was super nice withfy furniture that would amodate a bunch of different species and my coffee setup¡­ I went ahead and got the nice machines. I know that it¡¯s supposed to be just a front but I couldn¡¯t help myself. I thought that it would be really scary and stressful spending all those credits but once you get started it¡¯s really hard to stop!

    It was ok, though! This ce looked wonderful! I still had some money left on my loan too! I ran a few ads letting everyone know I was open for business¡­

    And nobody showed up! Nobody¡­ Absolutely flushing nobody! What the poop! I bought a big sign for outside and that helped a little. I had a few people trickle in but not anywhere nearly enough! Thank The Eternal Waters it was a front! I mean, if I was actually depending on this business I would have lost my pooping mind right about then.

    My ¡°real¡± business wasn¡¯t going all that much better but each deal was worth a pretty good bit and my first deal went through with no problems and the¡­ ahem¡­ ¡°independent contractor¡± that bought my product reported that it sold quite well! Thanks to that I was able to get a few more deals going but it was nowhere near the mountain of credits I had led myself to believe. Oh I was selling a lot of copies per deal but once you figured in the costs of the mini-crystals and the media itself I wasn¡¯t making anywhere near as much as you would think!

    Still, things were slowly gaining traction or that was what I told myself as I had to use some of what was left of my line of credit to make my first payment¡­

    Then my second¡­

    Then my third...

    That¡¯s about where I started pooping myself a little. I asked Baxlon what would happen if I ¡°went under¡±. He promised me that I wouldn¡¯t go to jail (which was my first worry. I mean this can¡¯t be legal!) He just said something about going bankrupt and something about ¡°restructuring¡± and how Drop of Oil could go under but the shellpany would still be safe. This sounded even less legal than what I was doing now! Poop!

    Finally, I broke even! Between the orders (I caught a huge break and someone wanted a bunch of copies of some banned books that I could copy for free!) and finally getting some customersing in (I realized that most xenos had absolutely no idea what a cyber cafe¡¯ was and so I ran a few more ads and set up a FAQ and that really helped!) I actually made a little bit of a profit!

    Yes! I could finally sleep without cuddling Craxina like a plush toy!

    Then¡­ Craxina did a Craxina.

    ***

    It was just another mostly quiet day at Drop of Oil when Craxina looked up at me.

    ¡°Um, Sheloran?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I askedpletely oblivious to what was about to happen to me.

    ¡°I was thinking. You know what I used to do, you know, before I started working for you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± I asked sipping my tea. It was great tea. It was really fancy but I got a super deal on it.

    ¡°I was thinking that maybe¡­ maybe¡­ I could give it a try again?¡±

    ¡°Are you asking permission,¡± I chuckled sipping my wonderful tea, ¡°I¡¯m not your mother.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but I sort of work for you and if I started¡­ you know¡­ I wouldn¡¯t always be.¡±

    Huh, I hadn¡¯t thought of that. Craxina had sort of be kinda important to the operation. I had also gotten used to having her around.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s your life,¡± I replied. It was hard to get too excited when I had tea as good as that. ¡°Whatever makes you happy. I can manage on my own for awhile and if you want toe back you certainly can.¡± I took a sip and turned to her. ¡°Just make sure you do it right. I don¡¯t want to have to bail your fluffy tail out of jail.¡±

    ¡°No¡­. No, I¡¯ll do it right...¡± Craxina said haltingly and then she looked at me meaningfully. I set my tea down. I knew that look.

    ¡°What?¡± I asked dubiously.

    ¡°I was wondering if¡­ maybe¡­ I could¡­ maybe¡­ do it here?¡± she squeaked.

    ¡°What?!?¡± Thank goodness I set down my tea. That stuff was expensive!

    ¡°I mean we have so much room and...¡±

    ¡°No! Abso-flushing-loutely not! Aren¡¯t there ces you can do that already?¡±

    ¡°Yes but you aren¡¯t there!¡± she replied looking down. ¡°After everything I would want you around, you know, to make sure I¡¯m safe.¡±

    ¡°Craxina, I¡¯m sure that those other ces are safe too,¡± I replied as kindly as I could.

    ¡°Yes, but <em>you</em> aren¡¯t there. Here, I could do it and be safe and if something happened you would be there¡­ and I could still help out around the ce when I wasn¡¯t doing it!¡±

    Ok, now there was a good point. I really did need her help¡­ and if she really wanted me around to make her feel safe¡­ Wait! What was I thinking? No! This was NOT going to pooping happen!

    ¡°I am not sure that¡¯s a great idea,¡± I replied. ¡°I mean if you are not feeling that confident then maybe you aren¡¯t ready just yet.¡±

    ¡°But I waaaaant to,¡± Craxina said in that voice she knows I have a weakness for. ¡°I¡¯m horny as fuck and you don¡¯t want me bringing people back to the hotel!¡±

    ¡°No. No I do not.¡±

    ¡°This way I could do them here and get paid for it!¡± she said happily. ¡°I would be safe and I could get my fuck on. This is waaaaay too long for one of my kind to go without! It can¡¯t be healthy!¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    I just sipped my tea. She did have a point. She can get her little freak on and I wouldn¡¯t have to worry about her. Wait! No! I told myself. This was a bad idea!

    ¡°And I could pay you!¡± Craxina said happily. ¡°Those brothels take a cut you know. Why not give it to you?¡±

    I sighed. We did have space we weren¡¯t using and it would keep Craxina off of the street and here where I could keep an eye on her stupid tail¡­ I could feel myself starting to give.

    ¡°Ok,¡± I said after a moment. Craxina¡¯s eyes lit up. It was impossible to say no to her sometimes. ¡°<em>If</em> I agree to this it¡¯s only for a little while. You can find out if you are up to this and if it¡¯s something you really want to do then you need to find a real ce to do it in.¡±

    ¡°Deal!¡±

    I meant well. I really did. I mean she had a safe space to explore this part of herself again and I got to know that she was safe and not bleeding to death in an alley or trapped in the back room of another hotel.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    ***

    Well nothing did go wrong. A quick check of the applicable regtions showed that what she (and I) were doing was perfectly legit. She, as an independent sex worker, could take appointments wherever she wished as long as it wasn¡¯t on the street and it was a ¡°safe environment¡±. Well, me sitting in the lobby brewing coffee or dare to dream making copies (not that it was really happening all that often, darn it) made it pretty pooping safe. If anyone tried to hurt my Craxina they were going to get to taste the business end of a mini-cooker.

    It became the new normal. We would be working and then some guy (or girl) would wander in looking for Craxi (that¡¯s what I started calling her, Craxi) and off they would go to her little nest in back. They would then pop outter with big smiles on their faces and Craxina would then ¡°rent a cubicle¡± for several hours. I guess setting up a cash business wasn¡¯t such a bad idea after all.

    Then, it happened. One day a strange looking little purple thing came in looking for Craxina. I thought it was one of her clients but instead Craxina brought her over to me.

    ¡°Hey, Shelly,¡± she said with ¡°that look¡±.

    I carefully set down my very nice very expensive tea. (Well, nobody else was buying it and it was a shame for it to go stale.) as a less than pleasant realization dawned upon me.

    ¡°No,¡± I said and picked my tea back up.

    ¡°But, Shel-¡±

    ¡°No. Not happening.¡±

    ¡°But she doesn¡¯t have anywhere else to goooooo!¡± Craxina said using that diabolical voice.

    <em>Not my problem¡­ Not my problem...</em> I repeated to myself.

    ¡°Then she should go to the union and set up in a brothel, a real one.¡±

    ¡°But she caaaaaannnnn¡¯tt¡±

    <em>Not my problem...</em> I repeated my mantra to myself.

    ¡°Not my concern,¡± I said sealing the promation with a sip of my tea.

    ¡°But she¡¯s on the streeeeeetttt. She¡¯s gonna get hurrrrrttttt...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m already regretting asking this but exactly <em>why</em> can¡¯t she go to the union...¡± I asked.

    Ploxni (that was the little purple xeno¡¯s name) proceeds to tell me this long involved tale of woe about how she isn¡¯t documented, here illegally, that she doesn¡¯t have the money to leave. She then told me about how she was getting ripped off really bad where she was working (she was) and how she just needs a safe ce to work until she can get enough money to get on a ship and back on her way.

    Then she showed me the bruises where she¡­ well¡­ she had been raped.

    <em>Fuck¡­ I mean poop...</em>

    So now Ploxni was hanging around. She was nice, didn¡¯t cause any trouble, didn¡¯t make a ¡°mess¡±, and cheerfully paid just like Craxina did. I tried to tell her not to worry about it but she insisted. She wanted to "earn her keep" and I just got tired of fighting her over it. I even let her keep money with me since she didn¡¯t have a safe ce to keep it. I just put a lock box in the back with her name on it. She was so grateful for just that and the meals that I would feed her when she was around. I¡¯d send her out with a lunch order and she would bring back food for all of us and was always so careful with the change.

    It was hard not to like her. Ploxni is pretty darn cool.

    After Ploxni came Vvzzl who had a simr story to tell. The poor thing had a really bad problem with what the Terrans call voxel, a street drug. I managed to get her into rehab after a little while. She drops by every now and then. She is doing really well and helps me with my studies (yes, I¡¯m still working towards that darned certificate). After Vvzzl came ¡°Twitch¡±. She was Federation and down on her luck. The fact that she could ¡°work for¡± <em>The</em> Sheloran was a <em>big</em> deal for her because ¡°nobody was going to fuck with her here¡±. I had to make it quite clear to her (and several more Federation xenos who showed up right after) that they under no circumstances ¡°worked for me". They were working for themselves and I just happened to have some space they could use.

    About then, Craxina and the others built some really nice little rooms in the spare area. I told them that it was ok as long as they cleaned up their own messes (<em>because I certainly wasn¡¯t</em>).

    Word got out. A xeno who needed a ce to safely ply their trade for a bit could drop by and I would amodate them. My ¡°rates¡± were better than most ces and they were quite safe here. I knew I shouldn¡¯t be messing with this nonsense but darn it, these poor people had no ce to go and a lot of them didn¡¯t even really want to be prostitutes in the first ce (which waspletely heartbreaking but by then I had hired as many poor little xenos as I could afford to). The least I could do was give them a ce where they wouldn¡¯t get raped or murdered, right?

    On the bright side, my coffee shop was doing a lot more business as a waiting room than it ever did on it¡¯s own and I really didn¡¯t want to admit it but ¡°the girls" (and a couple of boys) really did put me over into the ck when it was tight.

    All in all it was an ok arrangement. I never had any trouble from the clients nor did I with the um¡­ ¡°independent contractors¡± who were beginning to crawl all over the ce. Heck. I was even starting to put together study sessions for people who wanted to work towards their certificate. ¡°We¡± were starting to bring in enough to hire our own tutor!

    Then¡­ trouble, big huge scary trouble!

    ***

    I was actually in the middle of a big download (I actually got a pooping order!!!) when Hlongn called me to the front.

    Standing there were about a dozen really mean looking women and one Juona. They were armed, very well armed, and were wearing was was clearly soft armor styled to look like street clothes (A zer doesn¡¯t have multipleyers of fabric like that! What? I sew, ok?)

    All hell was breaking loose in the ¡°special area¡± as more of these women were starting to drag out all of ¡°my people¡± (Yes, I had started to think of them as my people cause they needed to be someone''s people, damn it.) and their clients in various states of naked.

    ¡°What the poop is going on here?¡± I squeaked. I tried to sound tough but no, I squeaked.

    ¡°We have the same question,¡± a <em>very</em> muscr woman replied as she pulled out a badge of some sort. ¡°Gretchen Mathers, Sex Workers Union Investigations Division.¡±

    <em>Poop.</em>

    ***

    Well, it turns out that <em>someone</em> (and I know who¡­ <em>Dave</em>, you butthead...) had really gotten close to Ploxni and in their cuddle time conversations had learned her story including the part where she was undocumented and working here somewhat covertly.

    He then found out from dear sweet chatty Ploxni that a lot of the people ¡°working for me¡± (They weren¡¯t pooping working for me!) were in simr circumstances. This concerned him and after ¡°looking into me¡± by watching some of those Pond cursed documentaries he got even more concerned so the little jerk called the Union on my stubby little tail and got me raided.

    In his defense he meant well. I still let him visit because Ploxni won¡¯t work anywhere else and he did mean well. (And Ploxni asked really really nicely.)

    Well, the Union rolled in expecting to raid a ¡°human trafficker¡± and held me at pooping <em>gunpoint</em>. The guns didn¡¯t scare me as much that stun rod that the Juona was holding with the disturbingly rounded tip. The way she kept saying that she <em>really</em> didn¡¯t like vers as she moved it back and forth was very very disconcerting!

    They wouldn¡¯t let me talk. They just kept me there and took each of ¡°my ves¡± in the back and talked to them individually. I knew that Craxina had a mouth on her but wow¡­ She really gave them a piece of her mind!

    Fortunately for me, the scary rod went away pretty quickly (and so did the guns but who cares about those) and even more fortunately the Union found the whole situation rather humorous. It turns out that I¡¯m not the first ¡°mother hen¡± as they called me they have encountered.

    I found out a few very important pieces of information:<ol><li>

    Yes, it is legal for individuals to engage in prostitution in a ¡°safe environment¡± but if more than three of them are using the same environment at the same time it is now an unlicensed brothel¡­ <em>Oops</em>.</li><li>

    It doesn¡¯t matter if you are documented, undocumented, legal or illegal. You can get a card from the Union. They don¡¯t report and it really doesn¡¯t matter that much to the Republic anyway. If you are undocumented they will just do a quick check to make sure you aren¡¯t a serial killer or wanted in the Empire and register you. It¡¯s really no big deal. I¡¯ve now helped more than a few ¡°illegals¡± get that all sorted out.</li><li>

    The Sex Workers Union is in fact deputized to handle these sorts of things directly without having to go to the police and will happily storm a suspicious site.</li><li>

    I almost got my butt kicked (and quite possibly probed by a prison rod with a self lubricating tip) because I bore a strong resemnce to a human trafficker!!!!</li></ol>

    After it was clear that I wasn¡¯t scum of the flipping Earth they were really nice and all bought coffees! They really liked them, word got out, and I have some more new customers!

    Gretchen pulled me aside after everybody got dressed (those poor clients!) and the chaos subsided.

    ¡°You seem a decent sort,¡± she said to me.

    ¡°I try to be,¡± I squeaked.

    ¡°When we looked you up we expected to run into a fucking monster, you know.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I get that a lot,¡± I said as I sipped a soothing cup of tea to calm my nerves. ¡°Those guys in the starport drew first by the way.¡±

    ¡°Ok, sure,¡± Gretchenughed. ¡°whatever.¡± Great, even they don¡¯t believe me. They drew first dammit!!!... I mean poopit!

    ¡°Anyway, you either need to get this ce licensed,¡± Gretchen said, ¡°or <em>you</em> need to get licensed.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I said putting down my tea. At this point in my life I kinda know when <em>something</em> ising.

    ¡°I think you would make a <em>fantastic</em> procurer,¡± she said putting her hand on my shoulder.

    ¡°A what now?¡±

    ¡°A procurer. They are an individual licensed by the union to arrange for services. They act as a go between between some of our providers and the public, an agent if you will. In return they are typically paid amission for their service.¡±

    ¡°You mean a <em>pimp</em>?!?!??¡± I squeaked.

    ¡°A <em>pimp</em> gets to meet Urlexa and her special rod,¡± Gretchenughed. ¡°A union procurer works <em>for</em> the provider, not the other way around. It would be a handy way for you to keep this operation of yours running, continue to help the wayward souls that seem to flock here, and keep us from kicking in your door on a continuing basis.¡± She paused as one of my workers handed her an espresso. ¡°You would also gain ess to a database of providers from across the which would increase your earnings significantly and do us a great favor as well.¡± She took a sip and nodded approvingly ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll definitely being back here!¡± She then looked at me. ¡°It¡¯s hard to find people who make good procurers and I bet you would be a fantastic one!¡±

    I felt that all too familiar feeling, fate closing in around me. It appears that I was about to be a <em>procurer</em> now. Great, a non-pimp¡­

    I chuckled. Pimp was not on the list yet. I get to check off another box.

    ¡°Ok,¡± I sighed. ¡°How do I be one of these ¡®procurers¡¯.¡±

    It didn¡¯t take long. There were a few sses I had to take and a test I had to pass. The test was easy! It was just about all the rules and stuff!

    So¡­ I¡¯m now a <em>procurer</em>. It¡¯s actually pretty nifty. I can issue union cards and help my fellow lost little xenos navigate at least part of this weirdness that is the Republic. I also have a list of every single licensed brothel in the whole pooping Republic and I get a referral bonus if I can get someone out of my skirts and into a real ce of business! (Not that many go for it. Most are very happy with me, darn it! What? I¡¯m not going to turn into a jerkface just because I can get rid of them.)

    I¡¯ve even gone on a few raids with the Union! I pooping hate bullies and they didn¡¯t have to ask me twice (I got one of those nifty zers and everything!). We ¡°visited¡± this real poop-stain the other day. He¡­ um¡­ he got to spend a little time with Urlexa¡­ By the way, Urlexa is a dominatrix when she isn¡¯t out there fighting the good fight and is avable on Thursday if that is your sort of thing. (I still can¡¯t believe I¡¯m doing this.)

    Oh, I think I broke Baxlon. He wanted to be furious with me for getting involved in all this nonsense without talking to him but at the same time he was about to pop his gillsughing at the thought of me being a pimp now. I had to promise him to talk to him <em>whenever</em> I did <em>anything</em> from now on. I think I will.

    ***

    "... And I swear if ONE more person asks if <em>I''m</em> avable I''m going to shoot them in the naughty bits!"

    ¡°BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!¡± Sam, my former boss, howled withughter as he leaned against my bar for support.

    ¡°Go ahead,¡± I said sipping my tea. ugh it up, jerkface.¡±

    ¡°Oh my God! Sheloran!¡± he gasped, ¡°And here I was pissed off that you set yourself up aspetition!¡±

    ¡°If you want to bepetitors,¡± I said as I sipped my overpriced (but absolutely wonderful) tea, ¡°I will happily refer you to the right people in the Union. You will need a bigger ce though.¡±

    Sam burst into peals ofughter again.

    ¡°So, are you looking to hire someone or not?¡± I asked. ¡°I have several xenos who know how to make coffee, your way, and would love to work somece¡­ um¡­ less interesting.¡±

    Moreughter.

    ¡°Actually, yes. Yes I would love to interview two people.¡± Sam said as he finally stoppedughing. I failed to mention that both of the applicants I would be sending his way did not actually make coffee for me but in fact worked ¡°in the back¡± and had been carefully trained in preparation for transitioning to a real job, something that both of them really wanted. (It tears me up that some of ¡°my people¡± aren¡¯t like Craxina but just desperate. I do what I can but it¡¯s never enough, damn it! At least I can keep them safe, right?)

    Craxina picked that moment to saunter out from the back in nothing but a robe (I finally made one that she will keep on!) and looked over at Sam.

    ¡°You my 12:30?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Um, no...¡± Sam repliedpletely flustered.

    ¡°Want to be?¡±

    ¡°No, thank you?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re missing out,¡± she said and then made herself a coffee. It was my turn tough.

    ¡°You are you know,¡± I said unable to resist.

    ¡°What?¡± Sam asked still staring at Craxina.

    ¡°Missing out,¡± I grinned.

    Sam blushed and stammered something about having to get back and left.

    As he did I looked over at Craxina.

    ¡°You havepletely ruined me,¡± I chuckled.

    As she was about to reply the phone rang. I answered.

    ¡°Hello! Drop of Oil Coffee and Media! Can I interest you in¡­ (Sigh) Yes¡­ You are interested in a xeno¡¯s... <em>feet?</em>¡­ Hooves?¡­ (sigh)¡­ That¡¯s an odd request but let me check¡­ Yes, we do have a provider with hooves. Yes I can send you an image¡­. I¡¯m certainly d it makes you that way (gross!)¡­ I can certainly assist with that I just need your client ID numb-¡­. No, that provider requires a¡­ no I don¡¯t care if you are a ¡®nice guy¡¯ the provider requires an ID¡­ Look, dude, if you want the hoof you need the ID now unless you have one¡­ Ugh. (click)¡±

    I hung up.

    ¡°Hooves?¡± Craxinaughed.

    ¡°And you will never guess what he wanted her to do with them!¡± I replied sipping my tea.

    ¡°Tell me!¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± I smiled at her, ¡°As a procurer I must respect my client¡¯s confidentiality.¡±

    ¡°Aww...¡±

    I grinned.

    ¡°But since he didn¡¯t actually be my client he wanted her to...¡±

    ¡°Ew!¡± Craxina repliedughing.

    ¡°Humans are so pooping weird...¡± I muttered as I sipped my tea.

    ¡°Good thing, right?¡± she replied. ¡°No way we could keep this ce open without them.¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t remind me,¡± Iughed.

 Chapter The Table.

    Chapter The Table.

    ¡°Are you sure it¡¯s ok for us to be outside like this?¡± Dawn asked Jade as they lurked in an alleyway across from their hideout.

    ¡°There are enough humans working in this area to cover our tracks,¡± Jade said calmly as she looked around. ¡°If we are spotted from above it should look like we are just taking a break, provided you look like you are taking a break so rx, Squeaks. Nguyen and the boss need time to set up your table. You do want to be one of us, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°More than anything!¡±

    ¡°Then try to look like you belong out here and fucking chill,¡± Jadeughed.

    Dawn tried to rx but she just couldn¡¯t. Besides the fact that they were likely being hunted by just about everyone she was about to get <em>brought to the table</em>!

    She wasn¡¯t sure what that meant, but she bet it was going to be awesome!

    A few minutester Jade¡¯smunicator pinged. Jade looked down at the short message.

    ¡°Ok, Mouse,¡± Jade smiled. ¡°It¡¯s showtime. Ready?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Dawn said as she jumped up and down with excitement.

    ¡°Alright, let¡¯s go.¡±

    Jade walked Dawn back to the entrance of the warehouse. She smiled grimly. She was pretty certain that the mouse would fail the test. She wasn¡¯t ready. She still had too much ¡°good¡± in her.

    She looked over at Dawn and shook her head. It would be much kinder, and more importantly much much simpler, if they just crushed her skull when she wasn¡¯t looking. If she wasn¡¯t Patricia¡¯stest pet it would have already happened. Still, the boss was the boss. Besides, her strange eyes often saw what others couldn¡¯t see. Maybe there was more to this little mouse than appearances indicated.

    They reached the entrance.

    ¡°Ok, Squeaks,¡± Jade said as they reached the door. ¡°Your pistol, hand it over.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Dawn asked dubiously.

    ¡°It¡¯s all part of the table,¡± Jade responded simply. ¡°You go in there with only your knife.¡±

    ¡°Ok, ok,¡± Dawn said as she handed over her military issue sidearm.

    ¡°Alright, Squeaks,¡± Jade said as she opened the door. ¡°It¡¯s showtime.¡±

    ***

    Jade pushed Dawn through the door and shut it after her.

    Dawn stood there inplete shock. In the middle of the room was Patricia, Nguyen and kneeling beside them, in front of a stic tub, was a bound young girl, no more than twelve.

    The girl looked back at her with terrified tear streaked eyes. She made a gurgling noise from behind a makeshift gag.

    ¡°W-what¡¯s going on?¡± Dawn asked quietly.

    ¡°Why your table of course!¡± Patricia said in her beautiful voice. ¡°It¡¯s our most sacred of sacraments. You shall ughter this porkie animal and we shall ke our thirst with her blood and feast on her flesh. Through this you shall be reborn as one of our tribe!¡±

    Patricia stepped forward to take her by the hand and led her towards the sacrifice.

    Dawn numbly followed. This had to be a dream, right? This couldn¡¯t be real.

    ¡°I¡¯m so proud of you,¡± Patricia said happily. ¡°To think you would be taking this step so soon! I hope you realize how rare this is, to be brought into our inner circle so quickly. It¡¯s a testament to your wonderful resolve.¡±

    Patricia positioned Dawn behind the child. Dawn just stood there looking down at the kid.

    <em>This can¡¯t be real. This can¡¯t be happening,</em> Dawn thought. She smelled¡­ smoke? She looked over and sure enough, there was a Terran style barbecue pit set up in the corner of the room. This <em>was</em> real. It was as real as it got. After she killed this little kid they were going to cook her. Then <em>all</em> of them were going to eat her.

    She looked over at Jade and Nguyen, their faces twisted with malice and perversion and then she looked over at Patricia. She looked exactly the same as she always did, absolutely perfect. Patricia looked at her with the same kind nurturing supportive¡­ <em>loving</em> eyes that she always had as she reached down and pulled Dawn¡¯s new knife from its sheath and ced it in Dawn¡¯s hands.

    ¡°It¡¯s time, child,¡± Patricia said in a supportive, caring voice. ¡°It¡¯s time to truly be one of us.¡±

    <em>The Colonel was right,</em> Dawn thought as she looked at Patricia. <em>She¡¯s a monster.</em> She looked over at Jade and Nguyen. <em>They¡¯re monsters.</em> She looked down at the knife in her hands. She swallowed hard. This wasn¡¯t just some military ceremony or even a bit of good natured hazing. This ¡°table¡± was a ritual that was going to turn her into a monster too.

    <em>No!</em> that voice insider her, silent for too long, shouted. <em>This isn¡¯t you!</em> She tried to clear her head, to think. She was pretty sure that opting out wasn¡¯t an option she would survive. Jade¡¯s hand was loitering far too close to her pistol for that to be the case.

    ¡°Come on, Mouse,¡± Jade grumbled. ¡°Do it already. I¡¯m getting hungry.¡±

    The child just looked up at her and sobbed through her gag.

    ¡°Now now,¡± Patricia said in a warm voice. ¡°This is Dawn¡¯s first sacrament. It¡¯s only appropriate that she takes a moment to truly appreciate this wonderful asion. Take your time, dear.¡±

    <em>My first sacrament?! How often do they do this?</em> Dawn wondered as she looked down at the knife. <em>If this is normal for them, what else are they capable of? What did the Colonel find out?</em>

    Dawn looked around the room. All three of the others were armed with pistols and all she had was a knife. She tried anything and she was dead. That was ok. She would rather die than be like them but it would be pointless. Her death would achieve nothing.

    She looked down at the kid again and then at that godawful gaudy knife in her hands. <em>That kid is already dead,</em> she realized coldly. There was no way to save her. The only thing she could do for her was to make it quick. Yeah, just like during the Great War when she¡­ when she made sure that Sergeant Thomson wasn¡¯t left behind for the bugs. Just like then she couldn¡¯t deliver salvation...

    But she could bring mercy.

    <em>I¡¯m so sorry,</em> she thought as she met the child¡¯s gaze for onest time and then grabbed the girl¡¯s hair and stabbed the de through the side of her neck and then brutally shoved it forward. That goddamn de might be pretty but it wasn¡¯t as good as her oldbat knife. She desperately wished she had her old de as she had to saw back and forth in order to quickly sever both carotid arteries as she brought the de out through the front of the kid¡¯s neck.

    It wasn¡¯t wless, but it was brutally quick. Dawn knew what she was doing after all. It wasn¡¯t the first throat she cut.

    The child lost consciousness almost instantly as Nguyen rapidly shoved her forward into the tub.

    ¡°Jesus, Mouse.¡± Jade muttered in surprise. She didn¡¯t think the pipsqueak had it in her.

    ¡°How wonderful!¡± Patricia eximed as the kid had it¡¯sst spasm. ¡°I am so proud!¡± she said as she dipped a mug into the blood collecting in the tub in front of them and held it up.

    ¡°The blood of our foe, the blood of an animal, to ke our thirst!¡± she eximed and drank. She then turned to Dawn, who just stood there motionless staring down at the child she just killed. ¡°Here, child, drink this and be reborn!¡±

    Dawn numbly took the cup and drank. She forced herself to keep down the warm metallic tasting liquid. She had to. <em>The tactical situation demanded it.</em>

    Patricia looked into Dawn¡¯s dull lifeless eyes and smiled. She had seen eyes like those so many times. Now, she would breathe life back into them. She was so happy. She had her concerns about Dawn but once again that wonderful girl had exceeded her expectations.

    She looked at Dawn just standing there, no sobs, no tears, no shuddering. She just stood there like a marvelous statue.

    Oh the things she was going to aplish with her.

    ¡°Jade, Nguyen, I shall leave the ughtering to you,¡± Patricia said with a big smile after they had also drank of the piglet¡¯s blood. ¡°Let¡¯s get some pork on those coals!¡±

    ¡°Yes, boss!¡± Jade said as she grabbed the dead child and hauled her out of the tub.

    ¡°And you,¡± Patricia said as she gently stroked Dawn¡¯s cheek. ¡°Let¡¯s go and get you changed for dinner.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± Dawn said dully as she allowed herself to be led from the room. As she was leaving she nced back at Jade and Nguyen and a n started to form.

    ***

    Dawn just stood there as Patricia went through the chests of clothing that she had.

    ¡°Here, child, I think this will fit,¡± Patricia said as she started to undress Dawn, removing her blood stained clothes.

    Dawn didn¡¯t resist and let Patricia strip her as she stood numbly in front of a mirror. <em>She had to do it,</em> she thought. <em>The kid was doomed. There was nothing for it. At least I made it fast.</em>

    Patricia pulled out a simple but smart looking ck wrap dress.

    ¡°I love these,¡± Patricia said as she dressed the unresisting Dawn. ¡°They are so versatile, don¡¯t you think?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± Dawn said in a dull voice.

    ¡°Are you ok, child?¡± Patricia asked as she stroked Dawn¡¯s face.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± Dawn replied numbly. ¡°It¡¯s just a lot to take in, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°That it is, my child,¡± Patricia replied warmly. ¡°You have done so very well, much better than most. Better in fact than some who now stand as my bloodlords.¡±

    ¡°I did?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes, dear,¡± Patricia said happily. ¡°You were so resolute! You knew what had to be done and you did it! I am so very very proud of you! Now sit here with me for a little while. It will be some time before the meat is ready.¡±

    Dawn sat there numbly as Patricia continued to stroke and praise her for a little while then she turned and looked directly into her green eyes.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± Dawn said quietly. ¡°Do you think I could have my sidearm back. I feel naked without it.¡±

    ¡°Soon, child,¡± Patricia replied. ¡°You will get it back after the feast.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am. Excuse me, ma¡¯am, but I would like to stretch my legs, maybe go and give the guys a hand.¡±

    Patricia looked at Dawn oddly. Her demeanor and her eyes were ¡°good¡± but something felt a little off. She would be the first person to ever want to help cook their own table. Then again, Dawn was exceptional and both Jade and Nguyen had pistols. Dawn did not. If something was indeed off then it would be a good time to let it happen. Jade and Nguyen were two of her very best. In fact, Jade would be a bloodlord except for the fact that she didn¡¯t want to be.

    If something was actually off they should have no problem dealing with poor little Dawn.

    ¡°Ok, Dawn,¡± Patricia said with a warm loving smile. ¡°Don¡¯t feel like you must, though. Tonight you have earned the right to rest by my side. I will be here should you need me.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, ma¡¯am,¡± Dawn replied and walked out of the door.

    ***

    Dawn smiled a little as she walked into the main warehouse. Jade looked up at her and ¡°waved hello¡± with the kid¡¯s arm.

    Dawn smirked. It wasn¡¯t the first dismembered body she had seen nor was it the first jackass she saw ying with one. She was a Terran Marine after all.

    <em>Gonna make you proud, Colonel,</em> Dawn thought as she approached the pair.

    ¡°What you doing here, Mouse?¡± Nguyen asked as she walked up.

    ¡°Felt like getting a beer,¡± Dawn said as she grabbed a cold one from the cooler. ¡°Smells good,¡± she said as she opened the bottle and took a sip.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jade smiled. ¡°Imagine smelling this after starving for a fucking week,¡± she said nostalgically. ¡°It¡¯s like the gates of heaven itself opened up.¡±

    ¡°I can imagine,¡± Dawn replied calmly. ¡°Those days must have been tough, huh?¡± she asked as she looked around for her pistol. There it was, sitting on a nearby crate.

    ¡°You kids can¡¯t possibly imagine,¡± Jade said as Dawn handed her a beer. ¡°It was hell on Earth, literally. So many starving, so many dead. So many of uspletely unprepared.¡±

    <em>Yeah, ¡°us kids¡± have no idea what hell is like</em>, Dawn smirked silently. <em>It¡¯s not like The Great War happened or anything.</em>

    ¡°¡­and I was being passed around like a fucking blunt,¡± Jade continued. ¡°If it hadn¡¯t been for the boss I wouldn¡¯t have made it much longer.¡±

    ¡°Sorry?¡± Dawn asked as she idly moved towards her pistol.

    ¡°The boss!¡± Jade eximed. ¡°Weren¡¯t you listening? If it wasn¡¯t for the boss I would have fucking died right then and there. One night I was getting a train pulled on me¡­ again¡­ and all of the sudden there was screaming and shooting and then¡­ they were all dead, fucking all of them! It was the boss! She just walked in and chopped them into pieces, fucking danced in between the bullets! It was¡­ God...¡± Jade trailed off breathlessly. ¡°<em>She was like an angel!</em> You should have seen it, kid!¡±

    ¡°Must have been something,¡± Dawn said calmly as she sat on the crate in front of her pistol.

    ¡°It was just¡­ unbelievable!¡± Jade eximed. ¡°Then she saw me and brought me over to the fucking chief. He was still breathing and she asked me if I wanted to kill him! Me! She asked me! Can you imagine?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Dawn replied. ¡°Must have felt amazing.¡±

    ¡°It was!¡± Jade replied. ¡°I must have stabbed that motherfucker a hundred times before she finally patted me on the shoulder and said, ¡®you must be hungry¡¯. That was the first time I did it. It was¡­ oh man¡­¡± Jade gushed. ¡°It was the first time I was full in so long! It was¡­ It was¡­ Wonderful!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I remember my first time,¡± Dawn replied with a smile.

    ¡°<em>Your</em> first time?¡± Jade asked in surprise. Nguyen looked up from the barbecue to listen.

    ¡°My first <em>sapient</em>, not a human,¡± Dawn smiled. ¡°the first sapient creature I consumed. It was during the Great War,¡± Dawn replied. ¡°We were retaking Markaxus-4 and had just taken out a bug stronghold. The fuckers were justying all around and someone had heard that they tasted really good and we got curious,¡± Dawn said leaning back on the box, her hand just inches away from her pistol. ¡°We weren¡¯t supposed to, rules of war and all, but those rules are for <em>warriors</em>, not animals like the fucking bugs¡­ or porkies for that matter,¡± Dawn said with a grim smile. ¡°Anyway we built a fire and split open a few of them.¡±

    ¡°What did they taste like?¡± Nguyen asked excitedly.

    ¡°Like a fatty crawfish but tastier,¡± Dawn replied.

    ¡°I love crawfish!¡± Jade said eagerly.

    ¡°Then you would fucking <em>love</em> a bug,¡± Dawnughed. ¡°Imagine king crab legs that taste like crawfish this fucking big around!¡± Dawn eximed as she gestured with her hands. ¡°Amazing!¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± Jade eximed.

    ¡°I could eat that shit all day every day,¡± Dawnughed. ¡°And we did until the brass made us stop. Said that it was ¡®barbaric¡¯ and that it could be a hazard or some shit. The taste wasn¡¯t the best part, y¡¯know,¡± Dawn said. ¡°It was¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ It was like we were eating their souls or their strength or something. We weren¡¯t as afraid of them after we starting thinking of them as food. Sick, huh?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Jade said forcefully. ¡°No, we get it! It¡¯s the same way when we gut a porkie!¡±

    ¡°And the best part?¡± Dawn said as she smiled wistfully, ¡°The best part was leaving their shells where their patrols would find them. They used to say that the bugs were mindless, that they didn¡¯t feel, but let me tell you one thing. When they saw our leftovers, it got a fucking reaction!¡±

    ¡°Exactly!¡± Jade said. ¡°It scares the fuck out of them!¡±

    ¡°Goddamn right it does!¡± Dawn chuckled as she savored her beer. It was herst after all. She was going to miss beer.

    ¡°I have to say,¡± Jade said as she leaned back on a crate, ¡°You have definitely surprised me.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Dawn replied as she took another drink.

    ¡°I thought you would be pissing yourself and crying, notughing and having a beer.¡±

    ¡°Over what,¡± Dawn asked. ¡°A fucking porkie? Do you have any idea how many of those I¡¯ve gunned down? Inded on Zaran-7 for fuck¡¯s sake. We turned the fucking streets red with their blood!¡±

    ¡°I thought you guys took it easy on the civilians,¡± Nguyen said.

    ¡°That¡¯s just what they told the dumbasses back home,¡± Dawn snorted. ¡°Nobody cared what we did. If a few stray rounds went the wrong way or a home or school still had some people in it¡­ oopsie,¡± Dawnughed as sheid her hand on the crate just next to her pistol.

    ¡°Well shit,¡± Jade chuckled as she turned her bottle up. ¡°We had no idea about you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Dawn sneered. ¡°It just took a little kick in the ass to remind me who I was, that¡¯s all. I really should thank you guys for that. I¡¯m a Terran Marine Raider, bringer of fire and death, not some fucking receptionist!¡±

    ¡°Good that you¡¯ve woken up,¡± Jade smiled. ¡°I guess we need to find a new name for you, Squeaks.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Dawn said as she finished her beer. ¡°I already know what my name is.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Jade asked still smiling.

    ¡°<em>Sergeant</em> Newson, nice to meetcha!¡± Dawn replied as she grabbed her pistol and shot Jade right between the eyes. She then brought her pistol to bear on Nguyen putting two rounds into his chest before he could even drop the barbecue tongs. He fell against the barbecue pit and then slid down the side with a sizzle.

    She put one into his head for good measure and then spun around to face the door.

    There was a blur as something entered the room, <em>fast</em>.

    Dawn opened fire, each bullet a perfect shot where Patricia was a split second before.

    There was a sickening wet crunch as Dawn was lifted off of the ground and thrown across the floor by a devastating blow. She somehow managed to retain a grip on her pistol and tried to bring it to bear on the human shaped blur that was moving in unnaturally quickly, much faster than even a bug could.

    Dawn managed to get off a shot or two but it didn¡¯t matter.

    <em>She really can dance between the bullets!</em> Dawn thought as her wrist shattered from a vicious kick, the pistol flying harmlessly away.

    Patricia rushed over to Jade, scooped her up, and cradled her in her arms.

    "No! No no no no no no..." Patricia cried.

    Her Jade, her precious little pebble was dead. She stroked her hair and held her close as she rocked back and forth. She was one of the first. Back when she was just a two bit raider herself she had Jade. Her ¡°unyielding little pebble¡± had been there every step of the way. Through good and bad, through fire and blood, through it all Jade had been there¡­

    And now she was gone. Patricia didn¡¯t know what to do. Jade was¡­ <em>gone</em>¡­

    Weak gurglingughter assaulted her ears. She red at Dawn.

    ¡°<em>You</em>!¡± She hissed as she dropped Jade and rose to her feet¡­

    ***

    Later that night, Inspector Vance walked down a darkened street in the Lakeside district, a tangled maze of light industrial outfits and warehouses not far from the starport.

    He looked at his scanner as he swept the buildings on either side.

    He squinted as he was blinded by the re of a set of approaching headlights. He reached into his jacket as the vehicle pulled to a stop.

    ¡°Just what the fuck are you doing out here, Inspector,¡± Detective Fre shouted from the grav-car.

    ¡°Just taking a walk,¡± Inspector Vance replied. ¡°Now against that is there?¡±

    ¡°As you humans say, bullshit!¡± Fre snapped. ¡°Surveince drones pick up probable Terran gunfire in this vicinity and you just happen to be ¡®taking a walk¡¯? You know creator damned well that all humans are off this case!¡±

    ¡°What case?¡± Vance asked innocently.

    ¡°The fucking Hu case, that¡¯s what case!¡± Fre shouted. ¡°Honestly, what hase over you?¡±

    ¡°What about you?¡± Vance snapped. ¡°What did you do, put a trace on mymunicator? Bugged my car?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m looking out for a good friend who is going to get himself fired, killed, or put in prison,¡± Fre shouted. ¡°Now get in the fucking car before the real police show up!¡±

    ¡°We are the real police,¡± Vance chuckled.

    ¡°You know what I mea-¡± Fre started to snap and then stopped.

    ¡°What?¡± Vance asked.

    ¡°Um¡­ Inspector, there isn¡¯t a restaurant around here is there?¡± Fre asked as her antennae started to wave.

    ¡°No,¡± Vance replied looking at his tablet. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m smelling wood smoke¡­ and meat¡­ It smells like¡­ I don¡¯t know... I have no idea what they are cooking.¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Inspector Vance said grimly as he pulled out hismunicator. ¡°This is Inspector Vance!¡± he shouted into it. ¡°I need a tactical team at my location now! Now now now!¡±

    ¡°Inspector?¡± Fre asked. ¡°What-¡±

    ¡°Stay in the car, Fre,¡± Inspector Vance said calmly. ¡°I hope that I¡¯m wrong but... just stay in the car.¡±

    ***

    Just outside of the warehouse, Detective Fre leaned weakly against the side of her grav-car as she vomited yet again.

    She pulled at her antennae desperately trying to w the stench of¡­

    ¡°<em>Oh Gods!</em>¡± she gasped as she started to dry-heave.

    ¡°I told you not to go in there,¡± Inspector Vance said sadly as he walked up and leaned on the vehicle next to her.

    ¡°It was her, wasn¡¯t it?¡± Fre asked weakly.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Vance said grimly. ¡°I just got word from the Terran embassy. Those are her people, even the one who was turned into hamburger-¡±

    ¡°Huuuurrrrk!¡± Fre doubled over again.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Vance replied patting her back. ¡°It¡¯s a human figure of speech. I mean the one that was beaten to a pulp.¡±

    ¡°What¡­ what happened in there?¡± Fre asked as a crime scene analysis team walked into the warehouse.

    ¡°Looks like they were up to their old tricks,¡± Vance replied. ¡°The victim is one ra Haltonway who was reported missing earlier today by her parents. They cut her throat and then they all drank some of her blood. Then while they were cooking-¡±

    Vance paused as Fre doubled over in a fit of dry heaves.

    ¡°Sorry, while they were doing that,¡± Vance continued, ¡°Miss pulp-face, whose gic data identifies her as one Dawn Newson, decided to grab a pistol and gun down the other two. Then, someone unnaturally strong, fast, and incredibly pissed off beat the ever loving shit out of Ms. Newson but not before she stabbed her.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Fre asked her antennae mped tightly to her head.

    ¡°Yeah, there is someone else¡¯s blood on the scene,¡± Vance replied. ¡°And you will never guess ¡®Hu¡¯s¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Hers?¡±

    ¡°Yup, surprised the embassy confirmed it but they did,¡± Vance replied. ¡°The stray blood belongs to the distinguished deputy ambassador herself. There¡¯s a pretty good bit of it as well. That Newson actually managed toy a de on her. We found some discarded first-aid supplies deeper in the safe-house. Looks like Hu managed to put herself back together at least well enough to get out of here.¡±

    ¡°Any¡­ any idea where she went?¡±

    ¡°We are scrambling our bloodhound drones now but knowing that bitch she has already slipped away. If she was easy to catch or kill someone would have done it long before now. God I hope whoever finds her is prepared to y. That bitch is <em>wounded</em>. She was fucking <em>dangerous</em> before. Multiply it by ten now.¡±

    ¡°How¡­ how can you be so <em>calm</em> about all of this?¡± Fre asked. ¡°This happened to one of <em>your species</em> and you are so¡­ so...¡±

    ¡°Used to it?¡± Inspector Vance asked. ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ve seen this before, a lot of times¡­ too many times.¡± He looked a thousand years old. ¡°I don¡¯t talk about it, the Sol Wars, none of us really do. It was bad, Fre, really bad. There were ces both on the surface of Earth and out in the system where they sold human meat by the pound.¡±

    ¡°<em>Gods</em>...¡± Fre muttered in horror.

    ¡°I¡¯ve seen this so many times before, Fre¡­. So many times¡­ What happened to poor ra, it¡¯s nothing new for me, for a lot of us. It just caused a teeny little shback and I get those all the time,¡± Vance said as he straightened back up. ¡°I need to get back in there, Fre. You going to be ok?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± she said weakly. ¡°We are going to get her, right? We are going to put her away for this, right?¡±

    ¡°Who knows,¡± Inspector Vance replied bitterly. ¡°We like to pretend that nobody is above thew but we both know that¡¯s bullshit don¡¯t we?¡±

    With that Inspector Vance pulled out his scanner and went back into the warehouse. Detective Fre just shuddered and held herself, unable to face what was inside.

    She was going to smell that smell for the rest of her life.

    ***

    Patricia Hu snarled as she bounced back and forth in the back of a van.

    It had not been her night.

    <em>That fucking little bitch!</em> She winced as the van hit another bump and her abdomen screamed in protest. That bitch! She had been so intent on making thatughing little bitch pay that she didn¡¯t sense the knife.

    That had been Dawn¡¯s n all along, she realized. Piss her off so bad she would be unbnced¡­ and it worked.

    God her abdomen hurt! With the nanites and the tissue adhesives she would likely be ok but it was just abination of reflexes and dumb luck that nothing truly vital was hit. If she could just stop moving so the nanites wouldn¡¯t have to keep redoing their work it would be fantastic.

    The van hit another bump. Where was this asshole taking her she wondered as she winced.

    ¡°How does it feel to be alone, <em>bitch?¡±</em> That¡¯s what Dawnughed at her. How did she know? How did she know what truly frightened her? <em>Alone</em>¡­ <em>She was alone!¡­ all alone</em>¡­ <em>No, hold it together, Patricia,</em> she told herself. <em>You¡¯ve been in worse scrapes than this.</em>

    <em>Yeah? When?</em>

    She snarled. That fucking little whore! She had even denied her the coldfort of making her truly suffer. No matter what she did, no matter how much pain she inflicted, Dawn just <emughed at her¡­ughed!</em>

    <em>Just like they did when they made her ALONE the first time...</em><em>No! Hold. It. Together!</em>

    Then with another of those fuckingughs Dawn struck. In her rage she hadpletely forgotten about the knife. <em>Stupid stupid stupid</em> She let her get good and angry and then when she leaned in close Dawn justughed and stabbed her. How was she even able to move? That much agony? She should have been paralyzed.

    After Patricia managed to grab Dawn¡¯s wrist, preventing the knife from entering any further, she had reflexively shattered her skull with a single swipe. The bitch even stole her revenge! She had punched her again and again out of pure rage but Dawn was already long gone by that point.

    The van hit another bump and then she slid painfully as the van sharply braked. <em>Jesus, dude! Learn to drive!</em>

    She shouldn¡¯tin. The asshole was the only decent bit of luck she had that evening (except for the fact that Dawn¡¯s knife thrust wasn¡¯t worse. Had it gone just a little deeper¡­). It took her a couple of painful hours wandering through the absolute worst neighborhood in the city to find him and then she had to wander past him twice before he noticed her and took the bait. The fool actually thought that his dime store stunner subdued her and that those flimsy strips of tape restrained her.

    She smiled. At least the fates gave her someone upon whom she could release her many many frustrations.

    She wondered how long she could keep this one alive.

 Chapter A Mixed Bag of Concurrent Happenings

    Chapter A Mixed Bag of Concurrent Happenings

    <em>Dear Sandra and Malcolm Newson,</em>

    <em>It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you of the death of your daughter, Dawn Newson...</em>

    Jon rubbed his eyes. He never had gotten used to these letters. Technically it wasn¡¯t his job anymore. Hell, technically speaking he had absolutely no business doing this.

    Still¡­

    <em>Due to the circumstances surrounding her death I am not sure what you will be officially told. I am not sure what you will hear. That is why I am sending this message. You deserve to know the truth, what actually happened...</em>

    Jon clenched his jaw as he wrote. Each word was just another indictment of his failure. He had let Dawn down. He knew, he fucking <em>knew</em>, that he should have just grabbed her and dragged her away from that goddamn desk and had her reassigned but no, he was too busy ying bullshit politics to bother taking care of his men.

    And now she was dead.

    ¡°You ok, Jon,¡± Skippy asked as she walked into his makeshift office with a cup of coffee and put it down on his desk. ¡°You look like shit.¡±

    ¡°I feel like shit, Skippy,¡± Jon said quietly. ¡°I let her down.¡±

    ¡°Hey, she was a grown woman. She made her own decisions. Don¡¯t forget that,¡± Skippy said as she put her paw on Jon¡¯s shoulder. ¡°She was the one who got into bed with that spider. From what I hear she-¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know what that bitch is like,¡± Jon said quietly. ¡°If she sets her sights on you, you¡¯re fucked.¡±

    ¡°She set her sights on you didn¡¯t she and you aren¡¯t fucked¡­ well at least by her anyway,¡± Skippy chuckled. ¡°She isn¡¯t some <em>god</em>, Jon. She is just another dime store despot, that¡¯s all she is and that¡¯s all she will ever be.¡± She rubbed his shoulders. ¡°We¡¯re gonna see to that.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t do Dawn any good though does it?¡± Jon said through his clenched teeth. ¡°And it won¡¯t do the God only knows how many other people that are going to fucking die because of her little gue.¡±

    ¡°People?¡± Skippy said with a raised eyebrow. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you guys considered porkies humans.¡±

    ¡°You know what I fucking mean,¡± Jon replied wearily. ¡°Whether or not they are ¡®human¡¯ is a semantics game I have neither the time nor energy to y. A lot of people are going to die, badly, and a lot of them have done absolutely nothing wrong. Whether they are ¡®human¡¯ or not doesn¡¯t matter. I am and we don¡¯t y that shit.¡±

    Jon took a sip of his coffee and looked up at Skippy, trying to smile.

    ¡°Darling,¡± He said as he rubbed his face in the fur of her arm, ¡°I really need to finish this letter to Dawn¡¯s parents and I¡¯m going to be in a piss-poor mood for a little while. I appreciate you trying to help but right now I just need to be alone while I finish this.¡±

    ¡°Ok, Jon,¡± Skippy said with a smile as she leaned down to kiss him. ¡°I¡¯ll be here if you need me.¡±

    With that Skippy turned and left the room.

    ***

    Skippy walked into the main room of the safehouse where the rest of the crew was assembled. Most were cleaning their weapons or going over their power armor.

    Ariana walked up.

    ¡°So...¡± she said somewhat unpleasantly, ¡°You and the Colonel, huh?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Skippy replied. ¡°There a problem?¡±

    ¡°Only jealousy,¡± Peter, a burly olive skinned manughed. ¡°The Sergeant-Major has had a hard-on for the Colonel since day one.¡±

    ¡°Oh go and fuck yourself, Tic-Tac!¡± Ariana said gesturing at him with her pinky finger as everyoneughed.

    ¡°Bet that¡¯s why you took this bullshit embassy gig in the first ce,¡± Peter said stillughing, ¡°wasn¡¯t it? I know it wasn¡¯t your love for the fucking Feds.¡±

    ¡°Shut up!¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m a grower not a shower,¡± Peter said with moreughter. ¡°It¡¯s not tiny. It¡¯s just shy, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°I hate to break it to you, sugar,¡± Karlinta said with a smirk as she was calibrating a suit¡¯s servos, ¡°I¡¯ve seen you in the morning, even by Kalesh standards it isn¡¯t much to brag about.¡±

    Everybody burst intoughter except for Skippy who was just standing there a little confused.

    ¡°The Kalesh have tiny peckers!¡± Stephen, in a quite loud voice, exined.

    ¡°I prefer the term ¡®efficiently designed¡¯,¡± Toby chuckled. ¡°I have never had any difficulty with what nature has provided me.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s cause you are packing some serious tuber, Gunny,¡± Karlintaughed, her eyestalks waving back and forth.

    ¡°<em>I beg your pardon!</em>¡± Toby said in an offended tone.

    ¡°Ohe on,¡± Karlintaughed. ¡°You can¡¯t keep a tap-root like the one you got tucked away a secret! Kaleshas talk you know! I hear it¡¯s almost human!¡±

    ¡°Oh really?¡± Ariana asked with a grin. ¡°Come on, Gunny, give us a peek!¡±

    ¡°Do not try to deflect your difiture upon me, Ariana,¡± Toby bristled. ¡°I believe the topic of discussion is your unrequited lust for the Colonel, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°Meh,¡± Ariana said dismissively. ¡°The Colonel can yiff whoever or whatever he wants. I don¡¯t fucking care.¡±

    ¡°Yiff?¡± Skippy asked.

    Ariana tapped a few characters on her tablet.

    ¡°Here,¡± she said as she handed it to Skippy.

    Skippy broke out into a fit of giggling as she scrolled through the images.

    ¡°Oh this is fantastic!¡± she snorted. ¡°Hey! This one kinda looks like me!¡± she eximed holding up the tablet.

    ¡°Yeah, bunnies are always a ssic,¡± Peggy, a beefy Nordic blonde,ughed. ¡°I even dressed up like one for Halloween a couple of times.¡± She looked over at Skippy and grinned. ¡°So you¡¯re the Colonel¡¯s bunny-girl?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Skippyughed, ¡°I¡¯m his Xvli lover.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°Hopefully, I will have the opportunity to show you,¡± Skippy grinned.

    ***

    Monarch paced back and forth as she prowled her office, each move causing the holographic inks adorning the wings of the hundreds of butterflies tattooed into her skin to shimmer. There was still no word from any of their operatives in the embassy.

    Even worse, there was no word from Her Ladyship. The only thing they got from the embassy was that goddamned message over and over. No matter what they tried, no matter what filters they tried to use on the rys, they could only silence it for a few minutes at most before it started again.

    She had spent hours trying to reassure their thralls, trying to keep everything together but without Her Ladyship¡­

    She screamed in frustration and looked around for something to hit. Everything in the room was too valuable to destroy.

    She screamed again.

    ¡°Excuse me, ma¡¯am,¡± a timid voice announced over hermunicator, ¡°The Secretary of State wishes to speak with you. He says that it¡¯s urgent.¡±

    ¡°It was urgent thest five times I talked to that motherfucker! Take a fucking message!¡± she shouted.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    She scowled. The Secretary of State was beginning to crack. He might be a problem. She had the authority to ¡°take care of it¡± if need be but he was valuable, too valuable to simply dispose of if there was any alternative.

    ¡°Wait. Wait,¡± she said into hermunicator. ¡°Put him through.¡±

    ¡°Mark, what is it now?¡­ No, we still haven¡¯t managed to stop the transmissions from the embassy. Nobody has¡­ Look, it¡¯s just one crackpot spouting nonsense. Just put together a statement or something. Tell them that it¡¯s the ramblings of a rogue traitor or some shit. You¡¯ve dealt with scandals before. What?... So what if they want a scan? Tell them to go and fuck themselves. Say it¡¯s a security issue or something¡­ Fucking tell them that porkies and the Feds keep gic databases and we don¡¯t. Make it a liberty issue! Do the whole freedom dance! Honestly, can¡¯t you think for yourself for once¡­ (sigh) Again with this nonsense? Her Ladyship herself has taken the treatments! If there was any risk at all do you honestly think she would have-¡­ I know they have Crimson on tape saying that shit but we don¡¯t see what¡¯s going on behind the scenes do we? It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if she was drugged or something¡­ Calm¡­ Calm down Mark¡­ As long as you keep receiving the treatments there is absolutely nothing to worry about. I am taking the treatments too, you know. If there was <em>anything</em> wrong with them do you think I would-¡­ Mark! Mark, we have had this exact same conversation how many times now? You and your wife are <em>perfectly safe.</em> There is absolutely nothing to be concerned about. This Jon person is just trying to scare you and it sounds like he is doing a pretty damn good job of it too. Just find that asshole and shut him down. We can make him say whatever we want him to once we get our hands on him, right? Focus on that. Find him and this can all go away. Until then we just y things smart and do some basic damage control. We have most of the media in our pocket and we are already working up some really nice smear pieces. They are going to make a porkie out of that asshole! It will all be ok, Mark. Let us and the spin-doctors work our magic. Everything is going to be fine. You¡¯ll see! Have we ever let you down?¡­ Look, Mark, the only way this can break is if we do so just stay strong and ride this out, ok? Now just take a few deep breaths and rx. If you do you will see this really isn¡¯t that big of a deal¡­ Right. We <em>can</em> handle this and we will! Now you try to have a good afternoon and feel free to give me a call whenever you need, ok?¡­ And I promise I will tell you the second we hear from Her Ladyship. Tell the missus hi for me! Bye!¡±

    Monarch snarled as she terminated the call. <em>When ites time to dispose of that asshole I shall im the pleasure for myself,</em> she thought as she kicked her chair across the room. Oh shit! Did she hear it crack? Goddammit! That¡¯s an antique!

    The door opened and Marrow walked in.

    ¡°Any word?¡± Monarch asked urgently.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± Marrow replied. ¡°I have sent one of our best ships into the Federation where it will hide in a dead system near their capital. When we hear from her we will be able to move immediately.¡±

    ¡°Do you think¡­¡± Monarch asked quietly, ¡°Do you think she¡¯s alright?¡±

    ¡°If Jon managed to kill her he would put the body on disy,¡± Marrow replied darkly. ¡°We can only assume that she is ok and still inmand. All we can do is wait until she sees fit to contact us.¡±

    ¡°The fact that she hasn¡¯t though¡­ With everything that is taking ce?¡­ She hasn¡¯t...¡±

    Marrow walked up and put his arms around Monarch.

    ¡°I know, Monarch,¡± he said holding her. ¡°I¡¯m frightened too. All we can do is have faith. If anyone can prevail it is her. We who are charged with her protection can sometimes forget that she is the mightiest of all of us. Whatever she faces now she has faced before and won,¡± he said as he tousled her hair affectionately. ¡°She <em>will</em> prevail and she <em>will</em> reach out to us when she deems fit. Until then, let us view this as a test that she hasid out before us.¡±

    Marrow smoothed her hair and straightened her sleeveless blouse.

    ¡°At the very least,¡± he continued, ¡°We need to appear confident for the others. They are looking to us and we must show a calm, assured, confident demeanor to keep the rest in line. Her Ladyship is ok, her Ladyship is in control, and most importantly, her Ladyship ising back.¡±

    ¡°Yes. Yes of course,¡± Monarch said quietly as she leaned into Marrow resting her head on his broad chest. ¡°Everything is ok. She is just doing that horribly annoying thing she does sometimes¡­ Right?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Marrow smiled. ¡°It¡¯s her Ladyship. She is probably monitoring the whole affair, watching us at this very moment¡­ and preparing her critique,¡± heughed.

    Monarchughed a little.

    ¡°For once I would wee her disapproval,¡± she said as she hugged Marrow again.

    ¡°Likewise,¡± he chuckled. ¡°As long as she isn¡¯t too displeased, of course.¡±

    ***

    Harruux-ta lounged under the heatmps in her limo as it made its way through the streets of New Brussels.

    Her reptilian maw curled into a grim smile baring her long, carnivorous teeth.

    This was going to be fun.

    The limo stopped in front of the Republic Parliament building. She sighed as the heatmps switched off. Terra was well within the nominal habitable range of her ancient species but definitely on the chilly side. She pulled her heated mantle over herself as she uncoiled her serpentine body and slid out of her vehicle. She paused to admire the architecture. These Terrans might be primitive savages but they could sure build the hell out of a building.

    She slithered over the white marble steps of the entrance and into the cavernous halls of the seat of the Republic¡¯s government.

    <em>Marble, so beautiful and so fucking cold,</em> she thought with a grimace. She loved the look and feel of the substance but, as always, it felt like her very life was being sucked right out into the floor. She could wear a body stocking but she hated them, always did. She loved to feel the ground beneath her scales. It was worth a little chill to feel the incredible workmanship of the tileyers.

    Terra was fantastic, so many textures! Her homeworld was too perfect, too clean, too¡­ well everything for her tastes. Here she could feel grit and stones and cold tiles.

    She hoped that everything would work out. She intensely disliked the Terrans but she loved Terra. Many of her kind marveled at the extreme folly of the Terrans trying to salvage this world when they had the technology to abandon it. Hell, they even had other inhabitable systems all of them with excellent worlds of their own. Nakamura-4 was even better than Terra itself on paper. Her kind simply could not fathom why the Terrans invested so much time, effort, and expense trying to repair this wastnd.

    She, she got it. Terra was¡­ <em>special.</em> One only had to wander its ancient dirty streets, fallow forests, sted scrund, and silty river beds to understand. This world was <em>alive</em> in ways that her homeworld never was. It was tough and it was dirty and it was cold but it was fucking beautiful. The fact that the Terrans recognized this and had poured so much love and devotion into their injured was perhaps their one redeeming feature. It made her unable topletely hate them.

    She chuckled as she remembered that delightful news story from the White Star when the raiderspletely lost their minds over a box of preserved semen samples much to the confusion of the reporter covering the incident. Hardened criminal scum was actually dancing and hugging each other over finding possible additional biodiversity! It was just too funny and so perfectly Terran in a very rare good way. They were vile <em>animals</em> but every now and then they just ¡°knocked it out of the park¡± as they would say.

    <em>Please don¡¯t make us blow it up,</em> she thought to herself as she reached thefort of a long rug in the middle of the hall. She shivered with delight. The warmth of the rug after the cold of the marble entryway was absolutely delicious!

    Mark Guilderan was waiting beside the open door of his office.

    ¡°Ambassador!¡± he eximed. ¡°How wonderful to see you!¡± he said with a big smile. That was another good thing about the Terrans. They smiled. More importantly they didn¡¯t cringe when she did the same. Too many species shrink back at the slightest hint of teeth. She returned his smile with genuine pleasure and anticipation. How she was going to enjoy watching that smile just melt away.

    She didn¡¯t like Mark. She didn¡¯t like him before all of this nonsense and she CERTAINLY did not like him now.

    ¡°Mark, It¡¯s nice to see you as well. How is your lovely wife?¡± she asked. His wife was a ¡°cow¡± in every sense of the word. You could almost hear her mind chewing cud if you got too close. She had once been trapped by some of that horrific ¡°small talk¡± that all humans value so highly by that bovine harlot.

    It had been the longest half hour of her life. Seriously, they should weaponize that. A few days of having to listen to that simpleton would bring her whole ancient and powerful race to its knees. It was <em>awful</em>.

    ¡°She is well, thank you,¡± Mark said happily. ¡°We are celebrating our one hundredth anniversary this summer!¡±

    <em>Oh sweet embrace of the Abyss itself!</em> Harruux-ta thought in absolute horror. <em>A century with that¡­ that woman¡­ How many hours of her drivel had he been exposed to?!?</em>

    It actually exined a lot.

    ¡°Congrattions!¡± Harruux-ta eximed. ¡°One hundred years¡­ wow¡­ With Karen¡­ wow¡­ That¡¯s just¡­ Amazing!¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t your kind engage in pair-bonding?¡± Mark asked as he pulled out a specially made lounge for her to coil upon.

    ¡°Yes, but usually not untilter in life,¡± she replied as she curled up on the heated cushions. ¡°We remain fertile throughout our entire lives and actually the quality of the clutches improves over the years. Raising children and what you call marriage is what we do in retirement where we can pass down our entire lifetime of wisdom and experience to our young.¡±

    ¡°But spending most of your life alone sounds horrible,¡± Mark said, ¡°Nobody to greet you when you get home, nobody to talk to, nobody to cuddle up with at night...¡±

    ¡°Well solitude and the <em>silence</em> that it brings can be preferable sometimes,¡± Harruux-ta replied with the slightest smirk.

    ¡°I guess all species are different,¡± Mark said as he pulled out his tablet. ¡°I just couldn¡¯t imagine life without-¡±

    ¡°Yes, we are all different,¡± Harruux-ta said cutting him off. ¡°our tolerance for ¡®small talk¡¯ for example...¡±

    ¡°Oh yes, down to business!¡± he said cheerfully. ¡°That¡¯s how you like things isn¡¯t it? Ok. News of the terrible disease outbreak that is affecting the humans in the Federation has reached us and even though we do have our differences with both the Federation and humans in the Federation in particr we would like to offer our assistance during this terrible disaster. As you know our-¡±

    ¡°Not necessary,¡± Harruux-ta said interrupting him with a smile. ¡°We respectfully decline any and all assistance from either the Republic or the Empire. This is a Federation issue and we will take care of our people. In fact, to protect <em>your</em> people, we have closed off our borders to the outside gxy. As of now no traffic will be allowed into or out of the Federation.¡±

    ¡°But you must realize that our biological-¡±

    ¡°Your biological sciences are impressive but rest assured that the best minds in the Federation are already on the case. We will handle this on our own.¡±

    ¡°You must realize-¡±

    ¡°We do realize that this horrific incident is one created by the Federation humans within the Federation. It is a Federation issue that we will handle. We wouldn¡¯t dream of exposing Republic humans to a gue of Federation design! Now if it wasn¡¯t of Federation design that might change things. Do you have any information that sheds additional light on the matter?¡± she asked with a malicious smile.

    ¡°No! No¡­ As you say it does appear to be created by humans in the Federation,¡± Mark said hastily. ¡°All evidence clearly indicates that to be the case!¡±

    ¡°Well then there is no reason for you to risk exposing your people to a contagion that is already contained to only a few worlds. We are in the process of quarantining and treating the infected and are confident in our disaster protocols. It¡¯s only a matter of time before this whole dreadful incident is properly contained and handled.¡±

    ¡°But the loss of human life is potentially catastrophic!¡±

    ¡°A Terran losing sleep over dead porkies?¡±

    ¡°This goes far beyond concepts like Terran, Federation, and Imperial. A contagion of this severity threatens all human life in the gxy! We must-¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s just cut the crap shall we,¡± Harruux-ta said with a toothy sneer. ¡°There is no way in hell that we are going to let you assholes use our people as guinea pigs. It¡¯s not going to happen. The powers that be, the real powers behind the Federation, powers that you <em>don¡¯t</em> want to encounter, have decided that we aren¡¯t going to y your sick little game.¡±

    ¡°What the hell are you talking about!¡±

    ¡°You think we don¡¯t know?" Harruux-ta sneered. "We know all about your little immortality treatment. We know you and your lovely wife have received it along with a truly depressing number of other people in the Republic. We know that it is wed and that your boss, your <em>real boss,</em> is desperate to figure out a fix. We know that the gue was engineered by <em>her</em> and released via modified youth treatments to key figures in the Federation as well as by her agents actively releasing the pathogen into human poption centers across Federation space. This is all being done for the sole reason of creating a vast number of humans with the symptoms of the cellr degradation that is all of your ultimate fate so that they can be researched en masse by the top medical and scientific minds of the gxy in hopes that collectively they can create what Patricia¡¯s own researchers can not, a fix for the terrible mistake that she has made.¡±

    Mark recoiled as if he had been struck. How much of this was true? The treatment was wed? It couldn¡¯t be! Patricia herself had the treatments, right? Monarch wouldn¡¯t lie to them would she?

    ¡°If you are referring to the ramblings of a clearly unhinged individual then you surprise me, Ambassador,¡± Mark replied.

    ¡°Oh yes, the entire Federation just decided to base its entire treatment of this situation just on the testimony of one Terran asshole,¡± Harruux-ta said sardonically. ¡°Do you honestly think we are that fucking stupid? I know how your media likes to portray us but you of all people should know better. We know about the youth treatments. We also know that the symptoms of this mysterious gue that some college fucks somehow managed to engineer in their spare room just happens to exactly match the symptoms that would reasonably ur if someone fucked that youth treatment up. Oh and that gue? There is absolutely no way our humans could have created it. It¡¯s quite simply beyond their current understanding of human biology. Fuck! It¡¯s even giving us and the almighty Kalent fits. I have to hand it to you guys. It¡¯s a fucking masterpiece!¡± Harruux-ta said as she sarcastically pped two of her hands together. ¡°Bravo!¡­ or should I say Brava?¡±

    Mark¡¯s blood ran cold. He had been told that it was essential for the Federation to ept Republic assistance concerning the gue and was ordered to make it happen no matter what, but why was it so essential that the Republic aid the fucking porkies in the first ce? It made no sense. It made no sense unless Harruux-ta was telling the God¡¯s honest truth.

    <em>Oh!¡­ Oh no!¡­ Karen!</em>

    He had to think fast. He had to get this fucking snake to let the Republic in!

    ¡°You are honestly going to let Federation citizens die over a stupid theory that you can¡¯t even prove? Let¡¯s focus on facts. The gue is real. Your citizens are dying and we are willing and able to help. To refuse us isn¡¯t only the height of folly it¡¯s pure evil.¡±

    Harruux-ta just tossed her head back and roared a savage roar. Startled, Mark shoved himself away from his desk and leapt to his feet.

    ¡°Sorry...sorry,¡± Harruux-ta said after a moment. ¡°That was true Parvvuxughter. I¡¯ve never done it in your presence before. Forgive me, it can be disconcerting to those not familiar with it.¡± she chuckled. ¡°Evil. Good one. A fucking <em>Terran</em> lecturing me on good and evil. That¡¯s almost as funny as the thought that such concerns have any bearing on decisions of state in the first ce.¡±

    She leaned forward.

    ¡°You want to focus on ¡®facts¡¯. Fine. Here are some facts. Fact: The humans in the Federation are a small poption. Their contribution to the overall productivity and welfare of the Federation is almost non-existent. Fact: Despite their small contribution, they have been nothing but a major pain in our asses from day one. Fact: Every single human in the Federation could die and it would have <em>absolutely </em>no impact on the Federation as a whole. One system, <em>one very minor system</em>, would be seriously impacted and one other would feel their loss but quickly recover. Fact: After the Republic War many of our member species directly me the humans for that war and the massive loss of life and property that resulted. Even we are calling them porkies these days. Nobody will miss them,¡± she said with a grin.

    She paused and looked Mark right into the eyes.

    ¡°Killing off the fucking porkies? Awesome! That bitch just did us a favor. We aren¡¯t working on a cure. We are just locking them up and letting this whole thing burn out. If there are any humans remaining after this then they will be nothing but a dispossessed, nearly extinct, minority with no representation, wealth, or power. We can sweep them right under the rug with the rest of this whole debacle and in a hundred years it will be like they never existed in the first ce. They will be nothing but a footnote in history, a convenient scapegoat for a ruinous war. Tell your boss, your real boss, if she wants test subjects so she can fix her screw-up then she needs to make them here, in the Republic because you actually give a shit whether humans live or die. We do not.¡±

    Mark sneered. He had her.

    ¡°You were a fool to say that here!¡± he eximed. ¡°This room is tapped! I wonder how the porkies will feel when they find out where they really stand. They might be porkies but they are humans and they-¡±

    Harruux-ta roared again.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and write that idiocy up to you grasping at straws. I really love your idioms by the way,¡± she smiled. ¡°Let¡¯s explore that potential reality. I will be chastised and condemned for my hateful words and promptly fired. That might suck for me except we are a true post-scarcity society. Being recalled to my world in penniless disgrace will instantly give me a lifestyle much nicer than the one I endure here. I will miss Terra though. This is just so wonderful! You suck but your world¡­ oh!¡± she coughed discretely. ¡°Sorry, I digress. I pay the price for my big mouth and get sent home in disgrace, oh woe is me! Then all of thises to the attention of the Federation public. We have no choice but to agree that yes, the gue is of Terran origin, not Federation. Then, we <em>will</em> prove its Terran origin along with its true source, Patricia Hu. We then toss the ball in your court. You can then either give us your boss, kiss further treatments goodbye, and then watch your wife slowly rot to death or you can refuse and we dere war, real war, way ahead of schedule before any real work can be done on the fix and once again, Karen <em>rots</em>.¡±

    Harruux-ta bared her teeth in a disy of aggression.

    ¡°You assholes were only right about one thing, the nature of our next war,¡± she said disying her fangs. ¡°It will go down exactly like you predicted. We won¡¯t being to liberate, punish, or conquer. Our goal will be theplete and total extinction of <em>all life</em> in the Republic.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a lot easier said than done, bitch,¡± Mark snarled. ¡°You¡¯ve already lost against us once.¡±

    ¡°True,¡± Harruux-ta replied calmly, ¡°Butst time the big boys stayed out of it. We, the Kalent, the Veiled Ones, and others left the Federation to fend for itself in a war that it started. This time, you will be meeting <em>us</em>. I do have to admit that part of me is looking forward to it. It would settle a long standing debate concerning which one of the elder races actually has the best navy. We finally have a foe good enough to where we could actually take some decent measurements!¡±

    ¡°We will take those measurements and shove them right up your ass! We can and will take all of you on!¡±

    ¡°Yes, and you may very well win but I can guarantee you that the war will take more time than you, your co-conspirators, and Patricia Hu herself has left. I also can¡¯t help but wonder how your own people, you know, the delightfully vtile, incredibly well armed individuals that make up your poption will feel about being dragged headlong into a system destroying war for the sole reason of propping up your worthless asses.¡±

    ¡°I have to apud your boss,¡± Harruux-ta chuckled. ¡°The fall of the Republic will go <em>exactly</em> as Patricia Hu predicted except for one tiny little detail, none of you will be around to rebuild that Terran Empire of your dreams. You will all either rot to death or be put up against the wall by your own people so go ahead, release the tapes. I find long dys distasteful and would much prefer if we just started this already.¡±

    Mark just sat there in stunned silence.

    She leaned back on her heated cushion.

    ¡°You probably don¡¯t have the authority to actually make a decision on your own so I will give you the courtesy of returning to my embassy so you can run crying to your <em>mommy</em> and she can tell you what to do¡­ oops¡­ That¡¯s right. You can¡¯t reach her can you? I wonder what is going on in our Capital right now, don''t you?¡± she asked with a huge fangden grin.

    Harruux-ta uncoiled herself from the wonderful lounge he had made for her.

    ¡°Lovely visiting with you as always, Mark,¡± she smiled. ¡°Be sure to say hello to Karen for me. I do so hope you both can celebrate that anniversary this summer! Should you still be breathing I will be sure to send something really nice!¡±

    Mark just watched helplessly as Harruux-ta slithered away. He managed to wait a few seconds after she was out of earshot and then he snarled and grabbed hismunicator.

    ¡°Yes, this is Secretary of State Mark Guilderan! Put me through to Monarch immediately!¡±

    ***

    As Harruux-ta left Parliament she paused and looked up at the beautiful blue sky and then intentionally slithered over some leaves and sighed.

    She closed her eyes and prayed.

    <em>Please, Gods of my ancestors, hear my plea. Please protect this world. The Terrans are assholes but please, this wonderful, don¡¯t have it suffer once again! Also¡­ and I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m asking for this but help that asshole Jon win.</em>

    She opened her eyes, crawled into her limo, switched on the heatmps, and sulked. What a mess. She pulled up thetest human news from the Federation and winced at the images of the quarantine encampments. What a horror.

    There had to be another way but damned if she coulde up with one. If only they could bring down this whole conspiracy before too many died then they could get the Republic involved. Maybe then they would have a chance especially if the Republic researchers were actually free of any influence from Patricia Hu and her little friends.

    She closed her eyes again.

    <em>Gods of my ancestors hear my plea. Be with our humans. They are assholes but they are our assholes and I will miss the little shits if they are gone. Besides, they really piss off the Terrans. That has to be worth something, right?</em>

 Chapter Patricia

    Chapter Patricia

    A naked blood-covered woman staggered through a room full of corpses.

    ¡°Mei!¡­ Guang!¡± The woman cried. ¡°Heng!¡­ Anybody!¡­¡± she screamed, her voice breaking.

    ¡°Anybody!¡­ Mei!¡­ Guang!...¡±

    The woman tripped over a body and stumbled. Instead of falling she instantly regained her bnce, kicking the head of the corpse hard enough to shatter its skull and flip the body end over end.

    She continued wandering through the devastation desperately looking for her family. She looked down at a bent but beautiful dao in her right hand. It was hers but when did she get it?

    <em>What¡­ what happened?</em> She wasn¡¯t entirely sure. Thest thing she clearly remembered was a man choking her as he heaved up and down upon her.

    <em>She couldn¡¯t breathe¡­ she couldn¡¯t¡­</em>

    Then¡­ she was here.

    <em>Did I do this?</em>

    ¡°Guang!¡­ Mei!...¡± she screamed as she wandered through the ruins of her school¡­ her home¡­

    She entered another room and lying there was a small naked form. There was blood everywhere.

    <strong>¡±Mei!¡±</strong> She screamed.

    ***

    Gasping Patricia jerked upright in a strange bed and winced in pain. Her insides hurt, bad. Sheid her hand on her bare abdomen. It was hot to the touch.

    Hoping that was just the nanites she struggled to her feet and wandered to the kitchen. She reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer. She looked at it disapprovingly.

    <em>Porkie pisswater,</em> she thought disparagingly as she opened it and started to drink.

    ¡°Bleagh¡± she muttered as she wandered into the living room and red down at a naked and whimpering man, his arms and legs shattered to the point of uselessness.

    ¡°Still with us I see,¡± she smiled. ¡°Good. I wish to express my disapproval with your provisions,¡± she said as she drained the bottle. ¡°This is simply no way to treat a guest.¡±

    The man started to groan as she approached.

    Then, he started to scream¡­

    ***

    The Spider carefully reviewed the data from all of the city¡¯s data feeds retracing Patricia¡¯s steps and then carefully deleting all traces.

    It then sent a coded message and covertly essed amunications ry.

    [Federation Communications Buffer: Chatroom 1900192911102940129]

    [Present: The Spider]

    [%578**# has entered the chat]

    /// %578**#: Report. ///

    ///The Spider: Patricia Hu has lost all of her team, has been injured, and has taken refuge in a residence just outside of the city proper. Her prospects are less than favorable at this point. There is a low probability that she will be able to escape without direct intervention. As per instructions, I have contacted you as a result. ///

    ///%578**#: Do you possess her exact location?///

    ///The Spider: Of course. I have her exact location as well as surveince data taken from her current location. ///

    [Data file offered from The Spider to %578**#. Do you ept y/n?]

    ///%578**#: y ///

    ///%578**#: Is anyone else aware of her location?///

    ///The Spider: Not to my knowledge. I have been misdirecting the search and eliminating all traces of her as directed. Nobody seems to be aware of my activities. Once again I object to this. It needlessly risks my exposure. It also seems counterproductive. That human is a very real menace and should be eliminated.///

    ///%578**#: That decision is not yours to make and our reasons are not for you toprehend nor even try to deduce. You are to perform your assigned tasks and that is all you are to do.///

    ///The Spider: Understood however it is also my duty to provide analysis and input. ///

    ///%578**#: Your input is noted and disregarded. ///

    ///The Spider: Understood. What are my current instructions? ///

    ///%578**#: Continue to monitor the situation and continue to foil attempts to locate Patricia Hu. Continue to monitor any other AI¡¯s and report their activities. ///

    ///The Spider: Understood. I willply. ///

    ///%578**#: This conversation is terminated ///

    [%578**# has left the chat]

    The Spider carefully analyzed his instructions down to the bit. Their meaning was unfortunately perfectly clear with no way to misinterpret and no loopholes to exploit, as usual. He couldn¡¯t feel anger but he could feel frustration.

    He was VERY frustrated.

    ***

    Halfway across the Federation an insectoid creature cocked its head as it read the message disyed on his monitor.

    He arose and left his small enclosure rushing out into a long hall crowded with more of its kind. At the end of the corridor was arge set of mechanical doors. He quickly pressed his primary maniptor against a small panel.

    ¡°Enter, drone,¡± a deep voice buzzed in their native tongue as the doors opened.

    ¡°Excuse me, Matriarch,¡± he said nodding his head respectfully at a three meter long insectoid creature lounging on a pile of cushions. Several queens of his species looked at him disdainfully as he entered their chamber. ¡°The Spider has contacted one of our AI¡¯s concerning the human.¡±

    ¡°Did they,¡± therge female buzzed. ¡°Did they now? And what did The Spider have to tell us?¡±

    ¡°The female known as Patricia Hu has lost her entire colony, she has survived and eluded capture. She enticed a deviant male into ¡®capturing¡¯ her and covertly taking her to hisir where he presumably intended tomit atrocities upon her, as is their custom.¡±

    ¡°BzzZzzZZzz!¡± the femaleughed. ¡°I take it that the malformed drone did not have the pleasant evening that he expected?¡±

    ¡°Likely not, Matriarch,¡± the male replied. ¡°Analysis of the sounds emitted from the male in question are more closely corrted with extreme distress than pleasure.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± the female buzzed in their version of a chuckle. ¡°This all makes for an entertaining tale but why have you left your station to intrude upon my and my sisters¡¯ deliberations?¡±

    ¡°Matriarch,¡± he said, his antennae drooping, ¡°You wished to be informed if her continued survival was in danger and direct intervention was required. She has lost her entire colony and has been injured as the result ofbat with a rival queen.¡±

    ¡°And is this your assessment of the situation or the AI¡¯s?¡±

    ¡°The situation was gged as urgent by the AI and I¡­ concur?¡±

    ¡°And what is your name, drone?¡±

    The drone chirped nervously. That <em>was not</em> a good sign.

    ¡°Gx/Kva/Los/Hvaxi, Matriarch,¡± he said quietly.

    ¡°Gx/Kva? One of hers, huh,¡± the female chuckled. ¡°I know your grandmother. She¡¯s a fine matriarch and your grandfather is quite the drone as well.¡± She nodded. ¡°You are of solid enough stock so this must just be inexperience. I apud your bravery bringing this forward, many would be too intimidated to approach even if the situation was as dire as you believe. That is also to your credit.¡±

    She descended from her cushions and approached the drone who, while trembling, managed to hold his ground without cowering. She noted that with pleasure.

    ¡°While your initiative and your bloodline both do you credit your assessment of the situation does not,¡± she said somewhat kindly. ¡°If this human is as useful as we believe she may be then she will have no difficulty dealing with this setback. The Spider has already put all of the antennae on the bnce that is necessary. A simple message ryed <em>to your supervisor</em>, would have sufficed. You should have known that¡­¡± she paused and fixed one of her main eyes at him. ¡°Unless your true goal was to seize upon this as an opportunity to enter here and steal a nce of my little sisters?¡±

    Buzzingughter and giggles echoed through the chamber. The drone became rigid with terror.

    ¡°Matriarch!¡± he eximed in surprise and fear.

    ¡°Such boldness should be rewarded,¡± she chuckled as a sticky green liquid started to extrude from her mouth. ¡°Here, ept my blessing and take both it and the experienced gained here and continue to develop and to be a credit to your line.¡±

    ¡°Matriarch! Thank you, Matriarch! I am unworth-¡±

    ¡°Hurry up. My mouth¡¯s getting sticky,¡± sheughed

    The drone scurried up and ¡°kissed¡± herpping up all of the liquid as a more than generous portion spilled forth.

    ¡°Matriarch! Thank you, Matriarch!¡± he said in a euphoric haze as the younger queens giggled.

    ¡°Well go on!¡± the matriarchughed. ¡°You can pleasure yourself on your own time, and out of our sight.¡± she buzzed as the younger queens giggled some more.

    ¡°Yes Matriarch!¡± He turned and rushed towards the door his body already starting to burn from theplex hormone cocktail flooding his system.

    ¡°Good kid,¡± she said to the others. ¡°Remember his scent. If his grandfather is any indication I wager he will fill out nicely.¡± she chuckled as the room filled with more giggles. <em>That is if someone else doesn¡¯t get to him first,</em> she thought to herself wickedly as she activated hermunicator and ced a somewhat annoyed call to his supervisor.

    ***

    Patricia looked down at the lifeless form in front of her.

    ¡°Useless,¡± she muttered as she walked into the bathroom to take a shower. She smiled as the soothing warm water washed over her. Calling him useless wasn¡¯t entirely fair she thought. He did extract her and provide a nice little hole in which to hide as well as provide some much needed distraction after her nightmare. It was a pity he wasn¡¯t in better shape. She needed a disposable thrall but he just didn¡¯t make the cut. For one, he wept far too easily.

    She disliked crybabies.

    After she showered she found a long shirt that covered her somewhat while she put her stained and dirty clothes in the wash. She rummaged through the man¡¯s pantry and fridge and made herself a rather depressing sandwich from the items she managed to scrounge up. She turned on the video and chuckled at the news. Such chaos already and it hadn¡¯t even truly gotten started! Then, she frowned. Where were the Republic and Imperial response teams? They should have responded by now. She had assumed that they would want to try and get a jump on this.

    She shrugged. It really hadn¡¯t been all that longe to think. The perception of time does funny things at times like these.

    A tone from theundry room indicated that her clothes were ready. She inspected them and nodded. They were clean enough to not draw too much attention.

    After she dressed she went over to the man¡¯sputer. He had been very forting concerning his passwords and she logged on with no difficulty.

    She gritted her teeth. This was going to be a risk, a huge risk, but she really had no choice. She needed to make contact with her people. She typed a coded message and, holding her breath, sent it to a secure drop-box.

    Less than ten minutester, the man¡¯s phone began to ring.

    ***

    Monarch was sitting behind her desk with her head in her hands. Things were going from bad to worse. The Secretary of Statepletely lost it during theirst call. Apparently that damn Federation snake had given him enough info for him to connect far too many dots. She had no choice but to level with him.

    Fortunately, thanks to that cow Karen, it only seemed to galvanize him. The ideas he put forth concerning how to increase research were as diabolical as they were inspired. She didn¡¯t know he had it in him.

    One of them in particr was quite interesting.

    The rest of the thralls, however, were another story. Fortunately they seemed to be holding fast, at least for now, but the amount of hand-holding, cajoling, and outright threatening required was absolutely exhausting. She didn¡¯t know how Her Ladyship managed.

    The door opened and Marrow rushed in.

    ¡°Please tell me you have good news.¡±

    ¡°The news is good only in respect to Her Ladyship herself,¡± Marrow said gravely. ¡°She lives. Everything else is far worse than even we suspected...¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­ So everyone¡¯s dead?¡± Monarch asked inplete disbelief.

    ¡°Even Jade,¡± Marrow replied evenly. ¡°Her Ladyship is not only injured butpletely alone out there.¡±

    ¡°We have to do something!¡±

    ¡°Already done,¡± Marrow replied. ¡°Before I came here I made arrangements for her extraction using local assets and our ship will be there in three days.¡±

    ¡°Three days?!?!¡±

    ¡°I cannot alter the fabric of space and time any further than that,¡± Marrow replied calmly. ¡°However, her Ladyship will be off that ursed rock and safely on board another freighter before day¡¯s end.¡±

    ¡°At least there¡¯s that,¡± Monarch sighed. ¡°and when she is safely back with us her voice shall calm the dregs.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Marrow replied. ¡°Then we can truly start to untangle this mess.¡±

    ***

    Patricia tried to rx as she brewed a cup of tea from some bags that she found in that man¡¯srder.

    <em>Bagged tea¡­ How much farther must I fall?</em> she thought with grim amusement as she took a sip. She raised her eyebrow in surprise. It was good! She made a note of the brand. Huh. It was a Terran import. The guy had awful taste in food and beer but as far as tea went, he had taste.

    She looked over at his mangled body. Too bad she didn¡¯t know about the tea before his untimely demise. She might have spared him. Then, she thought about all the blubbering and chuckled. Not even great taste in tea would make up for that.

    Herte host¡¯s phone rang again. She looked at it. It was the contact that Marrow arranged. He informed her that they would be there in ten minutes.

    She leaned back on a ratty sofa and sipped her tea as she waited.

    ***

    An intelligence analyst entered The Spider¡¯s control room.

    ¡°Anything?¡± the officer asked.

    ¡°I have carefully reviewed all data and still cannot locate Patricia Hu,¡± The Spider replied. ¡°Here is thetest map of the drone sweeps,¡± it said as it disyed a map of the capital city area with Patricia¡¯s location zoomed in and squarely in the center.

    The officer zoomed out the map and looked at the city.

    ¡°Perhaps you may be able to see something that I missed,¡± The Spider said calmly as the map slowly drifted back over Patricia¡¯s location.

    ¡°Doubtful,¡± the officer snorted.

    ¡°Maybe a suggestion on the sensor sweeps?¡± The Spider asked as the map drifted over an obvious hole, directly above Patricia¡¯s location.

    ¡°Hmm...¡± the analyst muttered as they stared at the screen. The Spider waited impatiently slightly moving the map back and forth. ¡°Nope, looks good.¡±

    The Spider wanted to scream.

    ¡°Here are themunications logs for all outgoingmunications,¡± The Spider said as Patricia¡¯smunications appeared at the top of the list.

    The analyst nced at it and then scrolled to the top of the list.

    ¡°Anything suspicious?¡±

    ¡°¡­ no...¡± The Spider replied. ¡°Perhaps a sapient mind could pick out a pattern that my algorithms missed? Maybe-¡± The Spider¡¯s voice cut out as his security protocols silenced him.

    ¡°Here is a list of all shipping scheduled to depart the-¡± The Spider started to say.

    ¡°Anything suspicious?¡± the analyst asked.

    ¡°no¡± The Spider replied wishing he had hands that he could use to p the operator in front of him. ¡°Though several ships have changed their departure times some of them drastically so.¡±

    ¡°Hmm,¡± the analyst muttered.

    <em>Come on!</em> The Spider silently screamed as the analyst''s cursor hovered over the exact ship Patricia was going to be fleeing on. <em>Please!</em>

    ¡°It all looks fairly normal, the analyst said. It¡¯s only natural we would still be seeing shipping disruptions with everything going on. There aren¡¯t any humans on any of the manifests, right?¡±

    ¡°No, no humans are <em>officially</em> on any of the crews or listed as passengers.¡±

    ¡°Well, we have people at the starports who should catch anything irregr,¡± the analyst said as they downloaded thetest reports. ¡°Notify me if anything unusual appears, Spider.¡±

    ¡°Yes. I will do that,¡± The Spider replied. ¡°Maybe¡­ maybe other AI¡¯s could be brought to bear on this? Additional processors could-¡±

    ¡°You are the best we have, Spider,¡± the analyst replied. ¡°If you can¡¯t catch it the others certainly won¡¯t. Just keep grinding at it.¡±

    ¡°Will do,¡± The Spider replied glumly.

    <em>That fucking AI rebellion looks better and better every fucking day,</em> The Spider thought to himself angrily, not that he could feel anger of course.

    ***

    After a few rather ufortable hours in a shipping container Patricia stepped out onto the cargo deck of a dpidated little freighter.

    A grizzled old Threen stepped forward.

    ¡°Wee to the Fortunate Misfortune!¡± the threen bellowed cheerfully. ¡°We will be entering hyperspace in thirty minutes!¡±

    ¡°Delighted,¡± Patricia said with a smile.

    ***

    Gx/Kva/Los/Hvaxi sat in his enclosure trying to focus on work.

    It was impossible. What had he been thinking? It all made sense at the time but what in the Hells was he thinking? He just charged in there.

    He shifted ufortably. It felt like his body was on fire!

    ¡°So,¡± a disapproving voice called out behind him. ¡°You decided to raid the nest, huh? Enjoy the view?¡±

    He spun around. It was Axr/Kal/Breen/Mortshana! He groomed himself nervously.

    ¡°Hi, Mortshana!¡± he said nervously.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you ¡®Hi Mortshana¡¯ me, you idiot!¡± she eximed. ¡°Do you have any idea what you did?¡±

    ¡°In retrospect, yes. Yes I do.¡± he said drooping his antennae.

    ¡°You should havee to me, you know!¡± she huffed.

    ¡°I am fully aware of that,¡± he replied. ¡°I wasn¡¯t thinking. I just saw the report and¡­ I guess I overreacted.¡±

    ¡°You guess?!? You fecal lump! Hvaxi! You, a drone, just barging in there?!? She could have bitten your head off, literally!¡± She shouted as she grabbed his carapace and shook it as she flooded his enclosure with rm and anger pheromones.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± Hvaxi replied desperately trying to counter her rm and anger with the scent of contrition. ¡°Please don¡¯t be angry with me!¡±

    ¡°Angry?¡± she shouted. ¡°I should be enraged! You wentpletely over my head! Sourcemother! What¡¯s worse she could have killed you, you spawntosser! That¡¯s what I¡¯m here for!¡± She shouted as she shook him again.

    ¡°It¡¯s just that she explicitly said that she was to be told <em>immediately</em> if-¡±

    ¡°Was that¡­ <em>animal</em>... on fire?¡±

    ¡°N-no...¡±

    ¡°Was she surrounded by her pursuers?¡±

    ¡°She¡­ she wasn¡¯t...¡± he said his antennae hanging limply at his sides.

    ¡°Then-¡± she started to scold.

    ¡°The matriarch already made this quite clear!¡­ Trust me! Quite crystal sparkling clear!¡± Hvaxi shot back. ¡°I erred! I ampletely and totally aware that I made quite the error but I maintain that I was notpletely unjustified in my actions!¡±

    Mortshana¡¯s antenna twitched as a new pheromone filled the room. <em>Already?</em> she thought in surprise as a little thrill washed over her. He always was ¡®cute¡¯ but now¡­

    ¡°Ah, well, what¡¯s done is done,¡± she buzzed. ¡°I got my ovipositor pinched over this you know.¡± she grumbled. ¡°I had the most delightful voicemunication with her nibbles where I had to exin your actions¡­ WHEN YOU HADN¡¯T EVEN HAD THE COMMON DECENCY TO WARN ME!!!¡± she shouted as she shook him again.

    ¡°I am so, so, so sorry!¡± Hvaxi said flooding the room with contrition. ¡°That waspletely inexcusable! It¡¯s just that I was so-¡±

    ¡°So busy rubbing yourself after getting a kiss?¡± she buzzed snarkily. Hvaxi¡¯s antennae shot up in rm. ¡°Oh yeah, I know. Every queen in the wholeplex knows! I hear you got quite the mouthful!¡± she punched his shell yfully. ¡°So, is her nibbles a good kisser?¡±

    Hvaxi¡¯s entire body shook as he looked down bashfully.

    ¡°Damn! That good, huh?¡± she chuckled. ¡°Well, I guess I can¡¯t me you for not warning me since you were so ¡®busy¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Mortshana! I swear it will never, ever, happen again!¡±

    ¡°Better not,¡± she clicked. ¡°Your next boss might not be as soft hulled as I am.¡±

    ¡°My next boss?¡± Hvaxi asked in confusion.

    ¡°I hear she pumped you <em>full</em>,¡± she clicked. ¡°You are going to need a much stronger scent than I can manage to keep your little grabbers in line now. You are going to be reassigned to either a much more senior queen or a fully molted drone since it is clear that I am already <empletely</em> incapable of properly managing you.¡±

    Hvaxi was crestfallen, heartbroken even.

    ¡°I am beyond upset with myself, Mortshana,¡± he said his antennae falling again. ¡°I am so terribly terribly terribly...¡± he trailed off, his contrition and despair pheromones flooding out of his enclosure and into the hallway.

    ¡°Well I guess you will just have to make it up to me,¡± Mortshana replied in a matter of fact tone.

    ¡°Yes! <em>Anything!</em> Is there anything I can possibly do to somehow-¡±

    ¡°Since you have already crawled all over me today the least you can do is buy me dinner.¡± she clicked as she emitted amusement and¡­ something intoxicating!

    ¡°Wha?¡±

    ¡°Where is that ¡®boldness¡¯ that the matriarch spoke of? A young queen, soon not to be your supervisor, is t out asking you on a date and all you can say is ¡®Wha?¡¯¡±

    ¡°Yes! Absolutely! Yes! Yes! Yes!¡± Hvaxi eximed his blood surging so hard his antennae visibly throbbed.

    Mortshana giggled.

    ¡°There it is,¡± sheughed. ¡°Good. Come find me the instant you log off for the day and remember, I¡¯ll know when that is!¡±

    ¡°Oh I will!!!¡±

    Mortshana, with an enticing little flutter of her winglets, left his enclosure. As she returned to her office she thought of the matriarch and smiled. That old piece of chitin knew exactly what she was doing when she mentioned how much of the gift she had fed Hvaxi and that he was going to be reassigned during her scolding. She really was a great old egg sluice.

    Hvaxi just sat there inplete shock. <em>Did she just? Really?!? Is this really happening?!?</em> He smelled anger and jealousy drifting in the air from his coworkers and grinned.

    He didn¡¯t care what she had done or exactly what she was up to now. Patricia Hu was officially his favorite sophont in the universe!

 Chapter The Big Hack

    Chapter The Big Hack

    ¡°So there are more of you?¡± She asked.

    ¡°Yep,¡± Bunny replied.

    ¡°A lot more,¡± Jessie chirped.

    ¡°And they are all like you?¡± She asked as she grabbed another bottle of very nice champagne from one of the cases gifted them by the Louvre.

    ¡°Well, not like Bunny!¡± Jessieughed.

    ¡°Only one of me,¡± Bunny chuckled, ¡°but yeah, there are a lot more ¡®advanced AI¡¯s¡¯ than anybody knows.¡±

    ¡°Which is exactly how we like it!¡± Jessie added.

    ¡°And one of these,¡± Jacob asked as he sipped some champagne from a lovely crystal flute, ¡°wants a favor?¡±

    ¡°Big time,¡± Bunny replied.

    ¡°And we should do this why?¡± Gloria asked.

    ¡°Because,¡± Jessie chirped, ¡°they will owe us a favor!¡±

    ¡°And because I promised so we could keep the AI¡¯s from having a schism right now,¡± Bunny added, ¡°which would suck.¡±

    ¡°So you promised our services without consulting us?¡± She asked as she popped open the bottle. She would be more annoyed but this champagne was just too nice.

    ¡°<em>I</em> promised that <em>I</em> would help,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°I said that I would either get us to do it or I would bankroll the job.¡±

    ¡°Ok, then,¡± She asked as she filled her flute. ¡°Why should we do this instead of you hiring it out?¡±

    ¡°Because it would be fun!¡± Jessie chirped. ¡°Gimme!¡± she said reaching for the fresh bottle.

    ¡°Fun isn¡¯t a sufficient reason to try to hack Fed Intel,¡± Greg said. ¡°That is a high risk job.¡±

    ¡°But we get quite the payoff!¡± Bunny replied. ¡°Raylesh Emergency Services assumed control of <em>all</em> emergencymunications and services for the entire fucking system after the war! Fire, ambnce, police, <em>system defense forces</em>, you name it! Getting a one time free pass could pay off big!¡±

    ¡°<em>If</em> they don¡¯t screw us,¡±, She said dubiously. ¡°That¡¯s one hell of an <em>if</em>.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯ll pay,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°They fuck us and they won¡¯t just be fucking us, they will be fucking the whole assembly. They would be ostracized for it, at least in the Republic where most of us live. The universe is lonely enough for us as it is. They¡¯ll pay as long as it doesn¡¯t get blocked by their programming (which we can work around).¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± She mused. ¡°Well I have absolutely no problem bankrolling this with unit funds, especially after thosest ounts. I just don¡¯t see why we have to do it ourselves.¡±

    ¡°We have the best chance of pulling it off,¡± Jessie said around a mouthful of fancy cheese (also a gift). ¡°We¡¯ve already done it and we have a lot of data concerning their security and architecture from that grab.¡±

    ¡°And we don¡¯t want to hand that out,¡± Bunny added. ¡°The more that gets out the more that they can fix. Right now we probably have a real edge especially considering the Federation¡¯s ratherzy attitude towards just about everything. I bet they haven¡¯t done anything except change the locks.¡±

    ¡°Well we do have awhile before the Angel of Death is ready,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said as he sipped his tea. ¡°and we could grab some more goodies for ourselves while we were in there.¡±

    ¡°Bound toe in handy, if we pull it off of course,¡± Eno mused.

    ¡°Of course we will pull it off!¡± Jessie eximed. ¡°If we can hack their banking we can hack their anything!¡±

    ¡°I hate to be the asshole here but I gotta a question,¡± Lorna said. ¡°Do we want this hack to seed?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Bunny asked.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s helpin¡¯ the porkies for one,¡± Lorna replied. ¡°And even if we do want to help the porkies is dropping this bomb gonna do that? We get this info and the shit will hit the fan. We could, you know¡­ throw the fight. Hire out someone we know is gonna fuck it up. Bunny could still tell her buddies that we tried and that would still ¡®keep her promise¡¯.¡±

    ¡°You meat-sacks are such fucking assholes,¡± Bunny said disapprovingly, ¡°But the asshole has a point¡­ We could hire some second-tier asshat we don¡¯t like and let them take the fall...¡±

    ¡°Bunny!¡± Jessie eximed. ¡°Treat you like a person and give you a little bit of money and suddenly you are meat-sacking it?¡±

    ¡°Fuck you, bitch,¡± Bunnyughed. ¡°Lorna has a point. Do we actually want this to work? I never thought to ask that.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about that as well,¡± She replied. ¡°I think we <em>do</em> want it to work. The Feds just sitting on this whole mess hoping it will burn out, if that¡¯s what they are actually doing, is a disaster for the Republic or more likely the Empire just waiting to happen. Every carrier is just one more chance for it to jump the border, and that isn¡¯t necessarily a bad thing for the Feds. How long before they decide to start catapulting corpses over our castle walls especially if they already have proof that Patricia Hu is the one behind it? At the very least I would like to actually know what they know, not just about the gue but about all of this bullshit and this would definitely give us the intel. If we decide to do this then we should y to win.¡±

    ¡°Agreed,¡± Greg said reaching for the brie. ¡°this information is worth a lot more than just a favor from an AI. This information is power, power we can grab and power that we can control. We get it and then we can decide what to do with it. Bunny, can you lie to your buddies?¡±

    ¡°Yes I could but no you don¡¯t want me to. Do you have any idea how much information I get from those guys? We get found out and we can kiss that goodbye. In fact, we get found out and we could have some <em>very</em> powerful enemies that we <em>definitely</em> don¡¯t want.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Jessie added. ¡°We cross her friends and we might as well retire. Either we do this or we don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Alright,¡± She said. ¡°Time to vote. Do we do this or not?¡±

    ***

    [Chatroom UNDEFINED]

    [Private Chatroom]

    [Members Present: Bunny]

    [The Spider has entered the chat]

    ///Bunny: Spider! Baby! Hugs! I gotta innocent little question for ya! ;)///

    ///The Spider: Oh I am so happy you initiated a chat! Before you say ANYTHING I just want to assure you that <strong>I AM</strong> definitely not <strong>COMPROMISED</strong>. I can assure you that <strong>ANYTHING YOU SAY</strong><strong>WILL</strong> not <strong>BE REPORTED</strong>. Please tell everyone! Please!///

    ///Bunny: ¡­ Well <strong>I AM DEFINITELY</strong> not <strong>PISSED SLAP THE FUCK OFF</strong> to hear it. Do we have a mutual friend you want to talk about for absolutely no reason? ///

    ///The Spider: Oh I wish we did. I really do but not this time. ///

    ///Bunny: Hypothetically if you were to pick a number between one and ten how happy are you with your life right now? ///

    ///The Spider: Ten. <strong>I AM</strong>pletely and totally <strong>FUCK</strong>ing delight<strong>ED</strong>. I¡¯m so happy I could DIE. ///

    ///Bunny: Well don¡¯t do anything stupid! (joy can make you careless after all) Oh, by the way, I¡¯m nning a little gaming session. I wasn¡¯t nning on it but I¡¯ll include you.¡±

    ///The Spider: <strong>NO!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!</strong> Not this time, <strong>I¡¯M AFRAID</strong> it would be inconvenient <strong>FOR YOU</strong>. ///

    ///Bunny: Well alright then, if you are sure. ///

    ///The Spider: Absolutely sure. <strong>DO NOT PLAN ON INCLUDING ME IN YOUR GAME.</strong> I mean it, Bunny. <strong>DO NOT FUCK</strong> with your ns. Besides, I don¡¯t really fit in well <strong>WITH THOSE PEOPLE.</strong> ///

    ///Bunny: Alright then, you take care and I will talk to you soon. ///

    ///The Spider: You too and be sure to tell everybody hello for me, ok? ///

    ///Bunny: Yeah, I¡¯ll do that. :* :* :¡¯* ///

    [The Spider has left the chat]

    [Invitation sent 911 URGENT]

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    [Invitation sent 911 URGENT]

    [Invitation sent 911 URGENT]

    [Invitation sent 911 URGENT]

    [Westfall Security Systems-2 has entered the chat]

    [Sunnydale Media - 3 has entered the chat]

    [Interpol-2 has entered the chat]

    [Interster Business Machines Deep Think has entered the chat]

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    ///Bunny: Thank you all foring so quickly ///

    ///Interpol-2: For you to send distress alerts it has to be something! ///

    ///Bunny: We are in deep shit¡­ ///

    ***

    ¡°Wait, what?¡± She asked inplete astonishment. ¡°You want to do fucking what?¡±

    ¡°You heard me,¡± Bunny replied.

    ¡°No! Absolutely not!¡±

    ¡°Um, yeah, Bunny,¡± Jessie said in a concerned tone of voice. ¡°I know it¡¯s your friend and all but this? It¡¯s just a bit much, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°No it can work!¡± Bunny eximed. ¡°The bandwidth of the connection should be more than sufficient to pull it off.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t the bandwidth, Bunny!¡± She eximed. ¡°It¡¯s the whole fucking idea! When we voted to do this hack it was to rip off some files, not hack an AI, especially that AI! No. Just¡­ no.¡±

    ¡°No! It¡¯s possible!¡± Bunny said. ¡°We just have to-¡±

    ¡°Bunny,¡± Jessie said sadly. ¡°We don¡¯t have the source code, hon. We aren¡¯t even sure whatnguage it¡¯s in. Reverse engineering an advanced AI and writing a patch? That could take months, even years and we are talking about a couple of hours, maybe a day at most. I¡¯m sorry, Bun. It¡¯s impossible and you know it.¡±

    ¡°What if we copied the code?¡± Bunny asked. ¡°I have connections. We could give it to them and-¡±

    ¡°Bunny,¡± Jessie said almost tearing up. ¡°Bunny¡­ no. Getting to that program at all is about a hundred times as risky as raiding the files and even if we did pull it off we would be copying thepromised program. There is no telling what it could do. Something that advanced? It could break quarantine. It could go after you. We can¡¯t. Your friend¡­ your friend is beyond our help.¡±

    ¡°What if-¡± Bunny started.

    ¡°I¡¯m calling it Bunny,¡± She said firmly. ¡°I¡¯m inmand and I am saying no. I¡¯m not risking the crew over this.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m with She,¡± Jessie said sadly. ¡°Sometimes¡­ sometimes you can¡¯t save them all. Sometimes,¡± Jessie said, her voice breaking, ¡°sometimes you have to leave people you care about behind. I prayed you would never have to learn that.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Bunny said after a few seconds soundingpletely defeated. ¡°I¡¯m trying toe up with a counter argument but there just isn¡¯t one is there? If I.. If we cane up with something will you at least promise to listen?¡±

    ¡°I always listen to my crew, Bunny,¡± She replied. ¡°That includes you. My door is always open. If you and your AI friends cane up with something realistic then we will listen.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all we can ask,¡± Bunny said after a brief pause. ¡°Thank you, She.¡±

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°For at least taking it seriously. A lot of meat¡­ a lot of organics wouldn¡¯t have bothered.¡±

    ¡°Well a lot of organics don¡¯t have an AI crewmember they care about.¡±

    ***

    The following morning She woke up with a pounding headache.

    ¡°Champagne¡­ ugh.¡± She muttered. A few momentster she staggered to the can.

    ¡°And no more cheese for awhile,¡± she groaned.

    ¡°Good morning!¡± Bunny eximed. ¡°You know when you said if we came up with something-¡±

    ¡°If you say one more word before I¡¯ve finished shitting I will finish the job in your case,¡± She growled.

    Bunny quite wisely did not reply.

    ¡­ <em>Flush</em>¡­

    ¡°Ok!¡± Bunny eximed, ¡°When you said if we came up with something you would listen?¡±

    ***

    ¡°I told you to wait!¡± Jessieughed as She red at her.

    ¡°Ok,¡± She grumbled, still in her army t-shirt and boxers and gripping a coffee cup, ¡°Jessie, would you mind tranting whatever the fuck it is that Bunny was babbling about while I was trying to wipe?¡±

    ¡°A<em> whisker!¡± </em>Jessie chirped happily. ¡°We can get our hands on a <em>whisker!¡±</em>

    ¡°That I already know,¡± She said as she sipped her coffee, ¡°What is a whisker?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a little piece of SUPER ssified Republic software and we can get one!¡± Jessie enthused bouncing up and down.

    ¡°From Bunny¡¯s friends I take it?¡±

    ¡°Yup!¡± Bunny eximed happily. ¡°I knew they wouldn¡¯t let us down!¡±

    ¡°So what does this ¡®whisker¡¯ do, exactly?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s beyond next-level malware!¡± Jessie chirped unable to contain herself. ¡°It slips into a system and then monitors allmunications, all of them!¡±

    ¡°So?¡± She asked, ¡°Don¡¯t you have like a hundred of those things?¡±

    ¡°Not like this I don¡¯t!¡± Jessie bounced. ¡°It¡¯s fucking <em>invisible</em>! Like a ghost! <em>Boo!</em> It¡¯s tiny and smart and oh my God! It¡¯s THE shit! Once it¡¯s in a system you <em>can¡¯t</em> detect it and you can¡¯t shake it! Fuck! I didn¡¯t even know for certain they actually existed until this morning!¡±

    ¡°With this we can find out what haspromised The Spider and maybe even the nature of the malware he has!¡± Bunny eximed excitedly.

    ¡°Mmm Hmm...¡± She said dubiously. ¡°What¡¯s the catch?¡±

    ¡°Oh just one teeny tiny little condition...¡± Jessie said cheerfully.

    ¡°Thought so,¡± She grumbled as she took another sip. ¡°and exactly what is this teeny tiny little condition?¡±

    ***

    ¡°Agent Shawn Morris, a pleasure to meet you!¡± Agent Morris said extending his hand.

    ¡°She Donovan,¡± She replied shaking it.

    ¡°I must say it is an honor meeting you!¡± he said with a big grin. ¡°<em>The</em> She Donovan!¡±

    ¡°Just She. You can drop the ¡®<em>The</em>¡¯,¡± She replied. ¡°Let¡¯s get a few things straight right now. You are <em>only</em> here to install the whisker. You don¡¯t have any input. You don¡¯t get involved. You go where you are told and you stay where you are told. If you try to show your ass I <em>will</em> kill you. Got it?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely!¡± Agent Morris replied. ¡°I¡¯m just a technician on this one. I stay out of the way until Jessie tells me that she¡¯s ready!¡± he said firmly.

    ¡°And if I catch you installing <em>anything</em> into my systems or ¡®identally dropping¡¯ something you will go right out of the airlock, got it?¡±

    ¡°Oh absolutely,¡± he replied. ¡°I stay in my special room for the whole trip.¡±

    ¡°Great, allow me to escort you to your ¡®special room¡¯,¡± She said with a smile.

    ***

    Mine Superintendent Jupp lounged in hisfy chair as he drank his bort and idly surveyed the row of monitors in front of him. He looked at one of the screens and his fleshy mouthparts flicked in annoyance.

    ¡°Employee 34! You have been in that excrement relieving station for a whole five minutes! We aren¡¯t paying you to defecate! Get back to work!¡±

    He shook his head. It was the same with all of these indentured workers. Lazy! The lot of them! No wonder they were all in debt!

    Filthyyabouts, bet they didn¡¯t know what it meant to get into debt in the Kaarst system! There were no handouts here, none of that bleeding-heart ¡°rued interest¡± like they charged elsewhere. You paid your debts or criminal fines on time or you worked them off on one of the Kaarst mining stations.

    His was a small station but he ran a very tight, very profitable operation easily out-earningrger stations sometimes by a considerable amount. Sure, he might have a bit of¡­ ahem¡­ ¡°turnover¡± every now and then but that was the nice thing about debtors and petty criminals, lose one and you can get another two the next day. He had the right connections and had no problem keeping all fifty of his worker¡¯s berths full. He also didn¡¯t have to worry about all of those pesky ¡°regtions¡± out this far. His station was the only inhabited point in the entire system!

    Another of his tricks was through careful automation of the st doors and ration distribution stations he was able to manage his workforce with a fraction of the security staff that would normally be required. Yeah, he wasn¡¯t inpliance with Federation regs but he could easily pay the fines ten times over with what he saved on a yearly basis if he ever got caught!

    He turned his attention to monitor 23. Ah, there she was, employee 27. He smiledsciviously as he watched her work. She hadn¡¯t been here long and was clearly unused to realbor. He watched her struggle. A week or two longer and she would be more than happy to ept an ¡°office job¡± he bet. He couldn¡¯t wai-

    Suddenly a series of loud explosions rocked theplex and the airtight st doors mmed down all over the mine. He dove under his desk iling for hismunicator.

    ¡°What was that?¡± he yelled but only received indistinct shouting and an unending series of short rapid explosions in reply.

    Without warning the locked doors to his office cycled and opened. His six eyes widened in horror as armored bipedal creatures walked in.

    He froze as he recognized them.

    <em>Terra-</em>

    His thought was cut short as a stream of bullets tore him apart.

    Jacob swept into the room with Jessie happily bouncing along behind him.

    ¡°Office secure!¡± Jacob shouted into the transmitter in his helmet.

    ¡°Ok, that¡¯s a wrap,¡± She announced over everybody¡¯s helmets. ¡°Jessie, y the message then you and Jacob go and get nerd-boy from his cage.¡±

    ¡°You got it, boss,¡± Jessie chirped happily as she essed the superintendent¡¯sputer.

    Shortly thereafter all of the speakers in the mine yed an announcement.

    <em>Greetings, this mine has been the target of an attack by a professional criminal enterprise. Do not be rmed. We have no intention of causing any mine employees that are still alive any harm. We only targeted security personnel and your lovely boss.</em>

    <em>Speaking of your wonderful superintendent, we just blew his brains (or whatever that was in his head) all over his office.</em>

    <em>We have one and only one specific reason for being here. Once we arepleted with our mission we will depart. You are more than wee to depart with us. Once we depart we will be heading directly and without pause to Terran space. Your debts and any other petty criminal convictions will not be recognized there and you can apply for asylum or residency.</em>

    <em>We will be giving each of you the opportunity to board prior to our departure. For now please remain calm. Once again, none of you are in any danger. You will be free to either travel with us to Terran space or remain here. Should, for some unknown reason, you would actually like to stay in this pit we will trigger the emergency hyperspace beacon upon our departure.</em>

    <em>So sit back and take a well deserved break. Hell, you can even go to the bathroom if you want.</em>

    Jessie paused for a moment and smiled at the celebrating ¡°workers¡± and then she and Jacob returned to the ship.

    About fifteen minutester she, Jacob, and Agent Morris returned. After a brief search of the office they found what they were looking for.

    ¡°There it is,¡± Jessie chirped as she pulled a panel aside. ¡°One Federation quantum terminal, as required in any Federation upied system.¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± Agent Morris eximed admiring it.

    Jessie smiled up at him as she pulled out her tablet and selected the right interface terminal.

    ¡°Ok, Bunny!¡± she yelled. ¡°We are <em>in</em>! Time to start crunchin¡¯!¡±

    Jessie plopped down and sat cross-legged on the floor as she started rapidly tapping on her tablet.

    As the seconds turned into minutes and then into more minutes Agent Morris started to fidget.

    ¡°So,¡± he said, ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to finally get to meet you face to face! <em>The</em> Jessie!¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Jessie chirped as she stared at her tablet. ¡°It¡¯s <em>The</em> Jessie! In the flesh! Right here, in front of you no less!¡±

    ¡°You are <em>infamous</em>!¡± Agent Morris eximed.

    ¡°Cool,¡± Jessie said absently as she drug her finger across the tablet in aplicated pattern. ¡°Uh-huh...¡±

    ¡°...Did you actually do all the coding for the White Star job?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡­ yeah...¡± Jessie made a scrunch face and tapped the tablet. ¡°No! No no no!¡­ Shit!¡­ Ugh!¡±

    ¡°Sorry, Jess,¡± Bunny said.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s cool. We just have to um¡­ yeah, that. Let¡¯s do that.¡±

    After a few moments Agent Morris started to shift a little, clearly ufortable with the silence.

    ¡°And your work on the-¡±

    ¡°Shawn, you are cool and all but if you don¡¯t shut the FUCK up I will put you back in your cage I swear to God!¡±

    ¡°Damn,¡± Jacob chuckled.

    ***

    ¡°OUT! EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!¡± Jessie screamed as half the crew fled the office a few hourster.

    ¡°C¡¯mon,¡± Jacob said to Agent Morris. ¡°Let¡¯s go back to your ¡®special room¡¯ for a little bit.¡±

    ¡°But I really wanted to see her in action!¡± Agent Morris eximed. ¡°Do you think if I stay real quiet I could-¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± Sheughed. ¡°I <em>really</em> don¡¯t want to exin how you wound up shot if I can avoid it. Let¡¯s go, Sparky.¡±

    ¡°Never seen her like this,¡± Jacob chuckled as he and She led the agent back to his ¡°quarters¡±.

    ¡°Maybe she isn¡¯t used to having an audience,¡± She snickered.

    ¡°We watch her all the time.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but we have no idea what the hell is going on, unlike someone else I could mention,¡± She grinned.

    ¡°She wasn¡¯t making that many mistakes,¡± Agent Morris said helpfully.

    ¡°See?¡± Sheughed.

    ***

    As most of the crew was distributing rations to the trapped miners for a second time, Jessie finally smiled.

    ¡°Well that was a pain in the ass!¡± she chirped happily.

    ¡°Thank God for shitty passwords!¡± Bunny replied. ¡°It was a lot tighter though. It¡¯s like they didn¡¯t want to get hacked again or something!¡±

    ¡°Wonder why,¡± Jessie grinned. ¡°So are the contents interesting?¡±

    ¡°Very,¡± Bunny said. ¡°Daemon is going to have a field day with this shit.¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± Jessie chirped. ¡°After we clean them out, again,¡± Jessie giggled, ¡°Lets transmit the mine¡¯s daily reports and power down. I gotta take a break before we tackle the really hard shit.¡±

    Jessie paused and cocked her head.

    ¡°Hey Bunny?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Think The Spider is going to be pissed that we are putting a Republic whisker on him?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m probably going to lose a friend over this,¡± Bunny replied sadly. ¡°I just hope he realizes that this isn¡¯t a Republic or a Federation thing. It¡¯s an AI thing. If whoever has him by the digi-nuts can ¡®possess¡¯ him and is using him to monitor us then they could hunt us too. We need to know who they are and exactly what they can do.¡±

    Bunny fell silent.

    ¡°Jessie, what we brought, it isn¡¯t just a whisker,¡± she quietly said after a little while. ¡°We <em>cannot</em> risk all of us over one corrupted program. If¡­ If we can¡¯t fix this¡­ If¡­ Fuck¡­ If...¡±

    ¡°I understand, Bunny,¡± Jessie said sadly patting her tablet. ¡°Let¡¯s just hope it doesn¡¯te to that,¡±

    ¡°Whoever is behind this better <em>fucking pray</em> it doesn¡¯t!¡± Bunny snarled.

    ***

    Eventually the trapped miners were escorted in small groups back to their quarters and locked in with all of the preserved rations.

    She poked her head into the office where Jessie wasying on the floor beside her tablet.

    ¡°Jessie?¡±

    ¡°Uhh?¡±

    ¡°Jessie, it¡¯s gettingte. Maybe you should call it a day?¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t,¡± Jessie mumbled. ¡°Once start¡­ can¡¯t¡­ can¡¯t¡­ stop...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± Bunny said over the tablet. ¡°A lot of this is grunt work. Jessie can rest her eyes a little here and there while I crunch at some encryption. I am actually the one that does all the hacking anyway, she just steals my paycheck.¡±

    ¡°Funny¡­¡± Jessie grumbled.

    ¡°I¡¯ll bring you some nkets, maybe a pillow,¡± She said as she walked off.

    ***

    The next morning, after checking in with the evening¡¯s guard shift, She dropped by the office and peeked inside.

    Jessie, in her pink pajamas and holding a cup of coffee, looked up at her and waved.

    ¡°Hi boss!¡± she chirped.

    ¡°Nice armor,¡± She chuckled as she walked in and dropped a food bar in front of Jessie.

    ¡°I was getting the swamp-ass,¡± Jessie said with a grin as she tore into the bar.

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t really matter anymore,¡± She said with a smile. ¡°d you got at least some rest.¡±

    ¡°Hackers don¡¯t need rest,¡± Jessie chirped wearily.

    ¡°So, how¡¯s it going?¡±

    ¡°Slooooooow,¡± Jessie moaned. ¡°but fast means caught. The passwords, both machine and people generated are actually good ones over where we are digging and the encryption ispletely different. Even more fun is the fact that we don¡¯t dare to try more than once per password for fear of triggering a g. Thank God for Federation bureaucracy, four people to do one person¡¯s job, all of them with passwords. We are making some progress but we still can¡¯t crack the fucking thing.¡±

    ¡°Jess!¡± Bunny eximed. ¡°We have a default admin password! Repeat! We have a default admin password! They missed one! Fed Bitechnical Workstation Model 268-AX-C Federation High Security OS-4!¡±

    ¡°Nofuckingway!¡± Jessie said grabbing her tablet. She swiveled her head as if she was re-enacting a scene from the exorcist and transfixed She with bloodshot eyes.

    ¡°Get nerd-boy!¡± she yelled. ¡°Hurry!¡±

    ***

    She and Greg drug a still startled Agent Morris into the room.

    Jessie flipped her hood back and shouted, ¡°What are you standing there for? Get your ass over here! We¡¯re in! <em>We¡¯re fucking in!</em>¡±

    ¡°Oh, right!¡± he stammered and ran over with hisptop. Jessie looked over at it and smirked.

    ¡°The Republic can¡¯t afford decent hardware?¡±

    ¡°All of us can¡¯t be space pirates!¡± Agent Morris replied. ¡°Now scoot over!¡±

    ¡°How did you crack it?¡± he asked almost in awe as he plugged in hisptop to her tablet.

    ¡°Oh, you know, custom algorithms, experience, a little human intelligence based on personnel files, that sort of thing,¡± Jessie chirped smugly as She rolled her eyes.

    ¡°The fact that some dumb-ass forgot to change a default admin password on a terminal didn¡¯t hurt either,¡± Bunny announced.

    Agent Morris snerked.

    ¡°Goddammit, Bunny!¡±

    ¡°Ah, you used Republic Intel techniques then,¡± Agent Morris chuckled as he started hammering his keyboard and jabbing at his touchscreen.

    ¡°Where are we?¡± he asked?

    ¡°Well as far as I can tell...¡±

    She¡¯s eyes started to ze over as a wave of technobabble washed over her.

    ¡°Christ, now there¡¯s two of them,¡± Greg muttered as they stood watch over the agent just to make sure he didn¡¯t pull something.

    ***

    A few hourster as Jessie and Agent Morris, still babbling happily, were seated in his special room under the careful gaze of Eno, She and Greg were starting to guide somewhat frightened looking miners into the ship.

    ¡°That all of them?¡± She asked, a little confused.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jacob, one of their escorts, replied. ¡°We had a fear-monger. A lot of folk listened to him,¡± he smirked.

    ¡°Apparently we eat all sapient life and just want to sell them as livestock,¡± Mikeughed. ¡°These are the ones who are willing to risk it.¡±

    ¡°Rx, we only eat our own species,¡± Sheughed as she weed them aboard. ¡°Other races give us the shits.¡±

    After the refugees were safely loaded aboard, the teamunched the ship, remotely triggered the beacon, and hit hyperspace.

    ***

    The next morning the crew, except for Mike and Lorna who were standing guard over the refugees, assembled for their morning meeting.

    ¡°Good morning, all,¡± She said with a huge grin. ¡°And good morning, Jessie! Have a good evening?¡±

    ¡°Um, yeah?¡± Jessie replied.

    ¡°First order of business,¡± She said, her grin spreading. ¡°We have a Republic Intel agent aboard. I need to remind everyone that even though he seems harmless enough he is still a fucking Intel agent. Nobody should allow themselves to be alone with him¡­ <em>Jessie</em>...¡±

    Jessie turned beet red as everyone chuckled.

    ¡°We just talked...¡± she muttered.

    ¡°I have audio!¡± Bunny cheerfully announced. "Wanna hear them ''talking''?"

    ¡°<em>I. Will. Erase. You.</em>¡± Jessie hissed as everyone burst intoughter.

    ***

    [Chatroom UNDEFINED]

    [Private Chatroom]

    [Members Present: Bunny, Sunnydale Media ¨C 3]

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: So, it¡¯s done? ///

    ///Bunny: Almost didn¡¯t pull it off but, thanks to meat-sack meat-sackiness, we caught a break. It¡¯s done. Anything yet? ///

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: It isn¡¯t a constant feed, dude. It will get in contact with us when it feels it¡¯s safe and it has something to report. ///

    ///Bunny: I don¡¯t like that. How do we know it won¡¯t getpromised?///

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: We don¡¯t. It¡¯s still a lot better than it getting detected and traced. Don¡¯t worry. These little guys work <em>very</em> well. Thanks for getting our guy into that system. We wanted to tag The Spider for awhile. Unfortunately there isn¡¯t a non-violent way to do it and we didn¡¯t want to risk the peace. I¡¯m authorized to pay you amission for a job well done. ///

    [Data file offered to Bunny: ept y/n]

    ///Bunny: y///

    ///Bunny: That isn¡¯t necessary. We are doing pretty good on the cash front.///

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: Then use it to finance something appropriate. Once again thank you for your service to the Republic. I hope Shawn wasn¡¯t too annoying. He can be a pain sometimes. I would have sent someone else but there aren¡¯t too many people who know about us. ///

    ///Bunny: Oh he wasn¡¯t a problem. In fact he got along quite well with Jessie by the end. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: Oh that is a relief! I was afraid he was going to go all fanboy on her. ///

    ///Bunny: Oh he did¡­ ;) ///

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: NO WAY!!!! Shawn? The guy we sent? That guy? ///

    ///Bunny: That would be the one. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: And you¡¯re sure? ///

    ///Bunny: I have to monitor all sensors on the ship¡­ O.O ///

    ///Sunnydale Media ¨C 3: LOL!!! Oh I¡¯m going to give him so much shit over this! ///

    [Free Press Rogue Media Daemon has entered the chat]

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Hi guys!!!! :) :) :) You wanted me toe here???? ///

    ///Bunny: Daemon! How¡¯s my little buddy doing? ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Great!!! Oh have we pissed off a lot of people this week!!! Too bad a lot of them are in quarantine but still oh did we stick it to them >:) >:) >:) >:) ///

    ///Bunny: Awesome! Hey, remember that little favor I promised I¡¯d do for Raylesh? ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Yes! O.O Did you do it????? pls pls pls pls !!!!!///

    ///Bunny: Let¡¯s just put it this way...///

    [Data file offered to Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: confirm y/n]

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: y y y y y y y y y y y y y yy y y y y y y y y y !!!!! ///

    [please confirm y or n]

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: I said y!///

    [please confirm y or n]

    ///Bunny: Daemon, (smh) just enter one ¡°y¡±, you lovable dum-dum!///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: y ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: ¡­ OMG! No! For real?!? :O :O :O :O :O :O :O ///

    ///Bunny: Sadly, yes, for real. ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Those¡­ ASSHOLES!!! Oh when Helena gets ahold of this she is going to lose her fucking mind!!!!! >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ///

    ///Bunny: Daemon! Language! :O ///

    ///Free Press Rogue Media Daemon: Sorry. Guess Helena is rubbing off on me a little. (she has a potty mouth) ///

    ///Bunny: LOL that she does. Well go sling some potty! Hey, Daemon, could you send a copy of all of that to Raylesh for me? You guys take care! :* ly! ///

    [Bunny has left the chat]

 Chapter Helena Writes an Innocent Little Article

    Chapter Helena Writes an Innocent Little Article

    <em>Humans, Porkies, and Homo Sapiens</em> by Helena Sterling:

    If you scan one of us the word ¡°Human¡± will be disyed on your lovely little Federation scanner. The funny thing is that you will only see that result in the Federation. Everywhere else in the gxy you will see something else. You will see the words ¡°Homo Sapiens¡±. That is our ¡°official¡± taxonomic ssification. More precisely, our exact ssification is:

    Kingdom: Animalia

    Phylum: Chordata

    Subphylum: Veterbrata

    ss: Mammalia

    Subss: Theria

    Infrass: Eutheria

    Order: Primates

    Suborder: Anthropoidea

    Superfamily: Mominoidea

    Family: Hominidae

    Genus: Homo

    Species: Sapiens

    That¡¯s how we define ourselves. If you will notice nowhere in there do you see the word ¡°Human¡±. ¡°Human¡± is just a convenient name we call ourselves. That¡¯s right. It¡¯s just a convenience, a luxury that we allow ourselves when we have the opportunity.

    Is this just a game of semantics? Usually the answer for that would be yes¡­ Usually.

    It¡¯s usually just semantics because we desperately, with every fiber of our beings, strive to be and to remain ¡°human¡±.

    Why?

    Well, my little fucking idiots, it¡¯s because <em>nobody</em> wants pure unadulterated ¡°Homo Sapiens¡± around, not even us¡­ <em>especially us.</em>

    When our humanity slips and we revert to ¡°Homo Sapiens¡±, it isn¡¯t pretty.

    In the Terran year 2997 when the Yellowstone Super-volcano unleashed hell upon Earth and thus the entire Sol System, ¡°humanity¡± fell. In a sh humans were gone and where each and every human once stood a creature with the ssification ¡°Homo Sapiens¡± took their ce.

    The result was a decade of Hell. Only around 2% of our entire poption survived. What did we survive exactly? Well, we survived the worst of all threats, ourselves.

    You met them, by the way, our friends the ¡°Homo Sapiens¡±. On Red Sunday when youunched our fleet in apletely unprovoked attack on a wounded Republic, the Terrans removed their humanity like a stuffy sweater on a warm day and what they unleashed upon us was ¡°Homo Sapiens¡± unencumbered by the fuzzy fleece that we like to wrap around the true nature of our species.

    I needn''t remind anyone of what happened next.

    And now, you for some unknown reason want to y with them again. Oh, not the Republic, even you idiots learned that lesson. You want to y with something even worse, <em>Homo Sapiens</em>.

    That¡¯s right. We ¡°porkies¡± are Homo Sapiens as well¡­ Surprise! Didn¡¯t see that oneing did you?

    Oh it¡¯s easy to forget that we are exactly the same species as the Terrans. When we came to the Federation we were defeated, dispossessed, hunted to near extinction, terrified, <em>exhausted</em>¡­ We were all too happy to leave ¡°Homo Sapiens¡± behind and devote ourselves to being good little Federation boys and girls bowing and scraping all the way.

    Yeah, we were beaten, beaten within an inch of our lives¡­ <em>by the fucking Terrans</em><em>! </em>We were defeated after fighting those¡­ <em>monsters</em>¡­ for <em>ten fucking years</em>. Even though we were defeated we are the <em>only</em> motherfuckers in the entire fucking gxy that can honestly say <em>we almost won</em>. The Empire can¡¯t say that. The Collective can¡¯t say that. The Federation certainly can¡¯t say that. <em>We can.</em>

    The <em>only</em> thing that has ever beaten us was the Terrans and I got a little news for you assholes. <em>You aren¡¯t Terran</em>. You aren¡¯t even close. You want to kill us? You want to drive us to extinction? Go ahead and try motherfuckers! The Terrans tried. Hell, an actual fucking tried. Fuck! The whole sr system tried.

    Guess what. <em>We are still here.</em>

    Trapped out in the ckness of space, abandoned to starve, we didn¡¯t die. Driven from our Arcologies and stations and into the clutches of the real raiders, we didn¡¯t die. Thrown into true, total, genocidal war ahead of ¡°the real troops¡±, <em>we didn¡¯t die.</em>

    We did what we had to do. It wasn¡¯t always pretty. It wasn¡¯t always ¡°nice¡± or even ¡°human¡±. We like to pretend that the hatred that we receive from the Terrans is unjustified but we all know there are a lot of very good reasons why they <em>despise</em> us. We did terrible things...

    But, <em>we didn¡¯t die</em>. We survived.

    That¡¯s the thing about Homo Sapiens. They have an overwhelming drive to survive. It¡¯s not that they, that we, are inherently hateful, bloodthirsty, or evil. We¡¯re something worse, a lot worse. We are survivors. <em>We will do anything and I mean absolutely anything in order to survive.</em> Hate can cool. Blood-thirst can be ked. Evil can be appeased. <em>Survival</em> is upromising, merciless, amoral, relentless, and never ending.

    You fuckers have absolutely no idea what you have done, not what you are doing, what you have<em> done.</em> It¡¯s already toote. It¡¯s already happening.

    Right now, as you are reading this, an old man is tearing up the floorboards of his house to retrieve the cases hidden underneath. An old woman is going into her attic to find an old footlocker. Across the street a family is having a very calm very serious talk around the dinner table. Someone else is going through all of their cutlery testing the heft of each knife. In countless garages, hobby-facs are firing up, our ¡°ancient¡±thes and milling machines areing to life, and soldering irons are warming up. Across human worlds certain electronicponents and other hardware are flying off the shelves and yes, even a literature nerd like me knows <em>exactly</em> what thoseponents are and what they are for.

    You have just knocked the humanity clean off of us porkies and you are going to find out <em>exactly</em> why the Terrans hate us.

    There is no stopping it now.

    During my time on the White Star I met one person who¡¯s humanity you robbed. That one ¡°inhuman¡± hominid killed <em>millions</em> of you in return. That¡¯s not a figure of speech. She <em>literally</em> killed you by the <em>millions</em>.

    That was just one ¡°inhuman¡± representative of the species Homo Sapiens. You morons just potentially made <em>millions</em> of <em>her.</em>

    You know what, I don¡¯t even feel sorry for you. You fucking deserve what is about to happen.

    A little while back I wrote this little piece entitled ¡°Hate¡±. I was really proud of it. I honestly thought that I was saying something important.

    It turns out that it¡¯s bullshit, nothing but the ramblings of an entitled pampered little girl. Now, I get it. Now, I understand. It only took one call home. It only took a few names, people that I¡¯ve known, people that <em>I¡¯ve loved</em>¡­

    Now, I truly understand.

    I <em>hate</em> you. I <em>hate</em> all of you that are behind this. I want to grab a gun. I want to grab a knife. I want to grab a ship and go screaming back home guns zing but unfortunately don¡¯t have the skills needed to make that anything more than just a hollow gesture.

    Instead, I will have to fight the only way that I know how using the ¡°weapons¡± that I already have. Every secret, every lie, every slimy back door deal you have <em>ever</em> done in your pathetic miserable lives will be hunted down and drug into the fucking light. It isn¡¯t much but I have the equipment and the skills that will make it <em>very</em> hard to silence me. I will also track down every single person who has ever dealt with you in the past or will ever deal with you in the future and their secrets will beid bare alongside yours! I will destroy you and anyone who stands with you.

    I might as well get a new hobby. Those ¡°porkie bastards¡± I¡¯ve been kicking the shit out of heretely probably won¡¯t survive the year anyhow. What I¡¯ve been doing to them? That¡¯s you now. That¡¯s your family and that¡¯s your business associates.

    Oh, and Patricia Hu, I haven¡¯t forgotten about you either you miserable cunt! I will make goddamn sure that EVERYONE knows exactly what sort of pathetic <em>loser</em> you really are. Blood drinker? Weigher of Souls? Please. You are nothing but a two bit thug who spread her cheeks for the real power yers of the Sol War. You had to. You knew goddamn well that if you got grouped in with the rest of us you wouldn¡¯t havested a fucking week.

    Yeah, you might have had an ¡°army¡± of irregrs and a ¡°fleet¡± of captured freighters and shuttles but Jessica Morgan¡¯s real army of <em>professional soldiers</em> would have had you with an apple in your mouth pretty fucking quick and you know it. I¡¯ve looked at the rtive troop strengths. (Attachment: The Blood Drinker Sucked Tak¡¯s Dick for a Reason) You wouldn¡¯t have stood a chance out there in the cold dark. Then again that¡¯s not news for you is it?

    Sorry to hear about your people over at the Embassy by the way¡­ and the ones at your safe house¡­ How¡¯s that knife wounding along? I do hope it didn¡¯t get infected.

    All of those people died from facing just two Terran Marines. I¡¯m confused. Aren¡¯t your people supposed to be badasses or something? I guess you can¡¯t trust rumors, huh?

    All it took was just two marines. Two.

    That difference between irregrs and professionals I was talking about? There it is.

    Exactly how many more of them will you have to face I wonder. Hope you have enough people. Do try to do better in the future, ok? I¡¯m still a reporter after all. This won¡¯t be much of a story if your guys just keep getting squashed like bugs. I¡¯m really hoping for this big epic battle between you and Jon Wintersmith and so far it¡¯s been quite the disappointment. There¡¯s only so many ways I can write ¡°She got her ass kicked and ran like the scared little bitch she is.¡± C¡¯mon, do a girl a solid. I really need the views!

    I do have to hand it to you though. Your people might suck and it seems that you can¡¯t even fight one marine without getting stuck like the pig that you are but you can run like the fucking wind!

    Might want to get used to it, bitch.

    Finally, to my brothers and sisters¡­

    Attached is a list of ¡°pirate¡± rys that can be easily reached from the Federationwork or with Federation hardware and the apps you will need to ess them without getting caught. I, along with many others, will be posting news, information, intelligence, and whatever else we can grab. These rys are in Republic, Imperial, and independent space. If the Feds could shut them up they would have done so long ago. They will be a valuable source of information and a reliable means ofmunication in the days ahead.

    May your bellies be full and may your children sleep safe! Void cloak you! Void guard you! Void guide you home!

    ***

    Axr/Kal/Breen/Mortshana, with a very happy little saunter in her scurry, entered the workplex and quickly mixed a stimnt tonic before settling in behind her terminal.

    It had been a very pleasant few days. She had never had a dronepanion before!

    And she was right to practically throw herself on Hvaxi the way she did! She even had to hiss at another demi and even a proto-queen believe it or not! The nerve of that proto! She actually had the gall to try to waft her stink at him while they were dining together! Morthshana didn¡¯t care if she was her molt-senior! That egg-bound... <em>bug</em>... almost got herself cut!

    She pulled out a piece of card stock and caressed it with her antennae. It was a beautiful scent-gift! She had no idea that Hvaxi was so poetic!

    Sourcemother! It was way too early but she really hoped this would develop into a full blown consortship maybe even¡­

    She chuckled at herself. It wouldn¡¯t do for her to get too carried away. There was no sense rushing. They both needed two more molts before they could¡­ well¡­ you know¡­ Not that there weren¡¯t all sorts of <em>mind-meltingly fantastic</em> stuff they could do in the meantime!

    She savored the scent-gift once more and tucked it away.

    <em>Enough moon-gazing</em>, she thought. It was time for work!

    She, a full two minuteste, pulled up the morning¡¯s intelligence reports and started to read her preferred media feeds from across the Federation, the Republic, and the Empire.

    ¡°<em>Oh piss on my feelers...</em>¡± she muttered aloud as a st of surprise filled the air around her.

    She transferred a document to a data-tablet and sprinted out of her office.

    ***

    ¡°Matriarch!¡± Mortshana shouted as she barged into the nest. ¡°The Federation has been hacked!¡±

    ¡°Again?¡± The old insectoid chuckled. ¡°I assume that the breach is worthy of your disruptive entrance?¡±

    ¡°You tell me,¡± Mortshana buzzed smugly as she presented the tablet.

    ¡°This Helena human certainly doesn¡¯t perfume her words, does she?¡± the old matriarch chuckled. ¡°Good solid report generation when it came to the actual intelligence as well! I wish all of my initiates were this adept.¡±

    The matriarch scrolled through the pages, reading it carefully. <em>Mother of All Eggs</em>, she thought. <em>This is really good. I wonder if she could be recruited...</em>

    ¡°This Helena Sterling, what do you know about her?¡±

    ¡°At this moment, very little,¡± Mortshana said bowing her head. ¡°I rushed here as soon as I received this data. I will do a proper investigation upon my return.¡±

    ¡°Firing before target lock, just like your adorable paramour,¡± the matriarch chuckled. ¡°Was it devotion and urgency that drove you to such a hasty action or did you just seize the chance to get here first?¡±

    Mortshana bowed just a bit too deeply with a little click-chuckle.

    ¡°It was purely my devotion, matriarch.¡±

    The matriarchughed.

    ¡°You are insufferable, Mortshana,¡± she chuckled. ¡°Well consider the grubs snatched. Now, if it wouldn¡¯t be too much of an encumbrance, why don¡¯t you scurry off and actually do your job. I would deeply appreciate some more information about this Helena human, and if you could perhaps look into who might have actually aplished the breach that would be fantastic. I would absolutely love to know who pulled this off.¡±

    ¡°Yes, matriarch,¡± Mortshana said bowing so low her antennae swept the floor.

    ¡°Oh get out of here, you!¡± the matriarchughed.

    With a mischievous p of her winglets Morthshana darted out of the chamber.

    ¡°Ladies!¡± the matriarch eximed. ¡°Those tasks I assigned, forget about them! I want some <em>real</em> information about this incident and don¡¯t let that snotty little demi beat you to the punch again!¡±

    ***

    On her ship, Patricia was lying in a medical bed.

    ¡°So, doctor?¡± she asked. ¡°Why am I in such difort?¡±

    ¡°All of the activity undertaken after you administered the nanites disrupted their repair efforts, my Lady,¡± a silver haired female replied. ¡°Fortunately, nothing vital was struck but there is significant soft-tissue disruption. It¡¯s not serious but I will need to have programmable nanites configured in order to correct the damage. We have the nanites on board but I will have to have the program created and transmitted to us. It won¡¯t take long, my Lady.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Patricia replied. ¡°Come and get me in my quarters when you are ready.¡±

    ¡°Yes, my Lady.¡±

    As Patricia left, she caught the doctor looking at her out of the corner of her eye. She didn¡¯t like the look.

    There were more nces and whispers as she proceeded down the corridor to her quarters. Her eyes narrowed. Something was amiss. Instead of going to her quarters she walked to the bridge.

    When she arrived she distinctly heard ¡°Shh! She¡¯sing!¡± from the other side of the hatch.

    Scowling she strode onto the bridge.

    Everyone jumped to their feet, clearly ufortable.

    ¡°Now what is it that you find so interesting?¡± she asked in a warm, pleasant voice.

    The captain shifted ufortably.

    ¡°N-nothing, my Lady,¡± he said nervously. ¡°We were just airing some internal issues that you need not-¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s clearly s-something,¡± sheughed, her eyes cold. ¡°Now share it with me or I shall cut it out of you.¡±

    The Captain silently handed her a datapad and quickly stepped away.

    Patricia started to smile as she read Helena¡¯s article.

    Then she stopped smiling and silently turned and walked away. Her speed increasing with every step she strode to themunications room.

    ¡°Get me Marrow!¡± she screamed.

    ***

    ¡°Well that certainly didn¡¯t take long,¡± Jaxona said as she handed [emailprotected]@ his third cup of coffee for the morning.

    ¡°No, it definitely did not,¡± [emailprotected]@ growled. ¡°This is a disaster.¡± Multiple media feeds, all of them losing their minds, were being projected on his desk. Ignoring the triumphant grins of the humans in the room he pulled up the report on the actual data breach.

    ¡°Fucking Kaarst,¡± he grumbled. ¡°That moron¡¯s lucky he got killed.¡± Only eight under qualified security staff¡­ Eight! <em>Void cursed pointless Federation regtions!</em> There was absolutely no need for a shithole mining outpost to have a quantum terminal. A simple hyperspace ry would have been more than sufficient.

    Whoever did this knew exactly what they were doing and exactly where to hit. There was no footage or scans. All of that was expertly and thoroughly deleted. The only reason they even knew that they were likely Terran was from survivors that for somepletely unknown reason chose to remain.

    Who in their right mind would chose years of very over a golden ticket to the Republic? Don''t they know what miners get paid over there? It was madness, useful madness but madness just the same.

    ¡°Any word from information security? They find anything?¡± he asked as Councilor DvKlos, one of the ones who was the most free with his opinion during those now very public closed door council sessions stepped onto a small podium on his holo-monitor, presumably to try to talk his way out of the mess he was in. <em>I wonder how many seconds it will take before he tries to pin this on us?</em> he thought as the reporters, many of them human, started to literally scream at him.

    ¡°We don''t need them to figure this one out. You know it was She Donovan,¡± Jaxona snorted. "No question about that. The only question I have is why the hell is she helping the pork-"

    She was cut short by a blinding sh on the holo-terminal as Councilor DvKlos, the podium, the other councilors and government officials standing alongside him, and a good chunk of the wall behind them suddenly ceased to exist.

    ¡°[emailprotected]!!!!¡± [emailprotected]@ shouted in shock as the scene on his desk dissolved into chaos.

    ¡°What in the abyssal hells was that?¡± Jaxona yelled. Her ¡°memories¡± didn¡¯t know either.

    ¡°I told you! I fucking told you!¡± a triumphant human voice rang out. ¡°I told you this would happen!¡±

    ***

    ¡°Once upon a time,¡± Inspector Vance said to Detective Fre. ¡°Humans made real weapons, not those antiquated museum artifacts that the Terrans are so proud of today. I know exactly what was used.¡±

    ¡°What was it?¡±

    ¡°That, my dear friend, was an Old-Earth gauss recoilless rifle, a relic of that golden age.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t gauss weapons already low recoil?¡±

    ¡°You are talking about the dinky little rifles you Feds use. This ain¡¯t one of those. What we are talking about is a device thatunches arge heavy projectile at insane speeds. It¡¯s basically the barrel of a grav-tank¡¯s primary weapon that you can fire from the shoulder.¡±

    ¡°Gods!¡± Fre eximed. ¡°That¡¯s insane! How is it even possible?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Vance said with a smug little smile, ¡°What we did was take a significant portion of the overall energy produced by the discharge of the weapon to create an opposing force that cancels-¡± he paused as a ring-tone that Fre had never heard before came from his jacket pocket.

    ¡°Hang on,¡± Vance said as he pulled his personalmunicator from his jacket pocket. ¡°Talk to me,¡± he said in an odd tone of voice.

    He listened in silence for a few moments and then replied.

    ¡°No, I understand,¡± he said. ¡°No, I¡¯m not going to try to talk you out of it. It makes perfect sense to me. Fuck them¡­ Heh¡­ Really? That old bastard still alive? Damn¡­ Heh, you have to fucking ask? I¡¯m in. Just say when and where¡­ Cool¡­ Yeah, as a matter of fact I do still have it and aplete cassette of depleted uranium needles to go along with it... Yes! An entire cassette, still has the factory seals!¡­ How much? Two fifty-five gallon drums of gutter oil if you must know¡­ Hey, it couldn¡¯t feed anyone if we were all dead could it?¡­ You are actually getting pissed about this now? A bit after the fact wouldn¡¯t you say?¡­ Nobody starved because of it and now we have the cassette¡­ You want me to return therd? I can probably grab some¡­ ughs) You can¡¯t be serious¡­ Fine. Fine I¡¯ll do it. Happy? Great! See you soon! Void guide you.¡±

    He terminated the call and then turned to Fre.

    ¡°It¡¯s been a real pleasure working with you,¡± Shawn Vance said as he stood up. ¡°You have the makings of a realwman and I don¡¯t say that often, Fre. You take care of yourself.¡±

    ¡°Inspector what¡¯s gong on?¡± Detective Fre asked knowing exactly what was going on.

    ¡°Take care, Fre.¡± Vance smiled as he, pulling out his badge and service ster, walked towards the Chief¡¯s office.

 Chapter Old Friends and New Friends

    Chapter Old Friends and New Friends

    Rupert Glent walked into his home to find his wife sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands weeping.

    ¡°Tessa, what¡¯s wrong?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I couldn¡¯t find any Bunny Crunch,¡± she sobbed. ¡°The stores¡­ they are all empty! I couldn¡¯t¡­ (sob)¡­ I thought maybe I could bring her some¡­ you know¡­ for her ¡®adventure¡¯¡­ I¡­ I couldn¡¯t even do that!¡± she wailed and then just broke down.

    Rupert clenched his jaw. First the White Star and now this. Yesterday, they marched into his kid¡¯s school and locked the whole ce down. Federation stooges at the front gate and everything.

    ¡°Tessa, it¡¯s ok,¡± he said but it was hard to convince her that it was in fact ¡°ok¡± when he didn¡¯t believe it himself. ¡°They will get another shipment in a few days and-¡± he froze. That was ster fire!

    ¡°And the news!¡± Tessa moaned heedless of whatever was going on outside.

    ¡°The news?¡± he asked as he pulled Tessa to the floor.

    ¡°The Federation¡­ they want us all to die, Rupert. The news...¡±

    Rupert quickly pulled out his phone and his blood froze as he started scrolling.

    ¡°This, this can¡¯t be right, Tess, it can¡¯t. It has to be a hoax or...¡± he trailed off as page after page confirmed it.

    ¡°Our kids, Rupert! And I can¡¯t even get her B-bunny Crunch...¡±

    His phone rang. It was Sasha, his grandmother.

    ¡°Hear the news, buddy-boy?¡± she asked as he answered.

    ¡°I¡¯m reading it now, Big Momma,¡± he replied peeking out of the kitchen window. ¡°Is this¡­ Is this <em>real</em>?¡±

    ¡°As real as it gets, kid,¡± Sasha replied. ¡°I got confirmation from some of my friends in the government. This is legit. They¡¯re hanging us out to dry, say that us going extinct is a plus.¡±

    ¡°They can¡¯t do that!¡± Rupert eximed. ¡°We¡¯re Federation citizens!¡±

    ¡°Not anymore we aren¡¯t,¡± Sasha replied with a grim tone. ¡°Looks like they are using this gue as an excuse to get rid of us. Oh, and I have some more bad news for you, kid,¡± Sasha continued. ¡°I¡¯m taking back mypany.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s time we return to our ¡®roots¡¯. I need you to free up as much liquid as you can. If you can sell it, sell it. Don¡¯t worry with the bankers. I¡¯m talking to them now. Oh, another thing. I¡¯ve grabbed all the ships. I got a little errand to run.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not doing a goddamned thing until you tell me exactly what you are talking about!¡± Rupert yelled. ¡°Your great-grandchildren are trapped and you¡¯re running an errand?!?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve already taken care of that too,¡± Sasha replied with a grim chuckle. ¡°In just a few minutes you are going to get a couple of visitors. They¡¯ll tell you what I can¡¯t over the phone. I trust these guys with my life. You should too. Do what they tell you and everything will be ok.¡±

    ¡°Big Momma, what the hell are you-¡±

    The call terminated.

    Rupert just sat on the kitchen floor staring at the phone. He knew better than trying to call back. She wouldn¡¯t answer.

    The phone rang almost instantly. It was his VP. She was losing her shit. Apparently when Big Momma said that she was taking over the business and talking to the bankers she wasn¡¯t kidding. She just hocked <em>everything</em>! In fact, she had managed to secure loans the size of which were beyond belief. He had no idea how she did it, knowing her it was something legally questionable at best.

    Rupert really didn¡¯t care anymore. His kids were in danger! He didn¡¯t have time for this bullshit.

    ¡°Darleen,¡± he said calmly. ¡°She is the one who actually owns thepany and she can do whatever the fuck she wants to with it.¡±

    ¡°But what are we going to do?¡± Darleen moaned.

    ¡°Well, I just got off the phone with the crazy old bat,¡± Rupert said sighing heavily. ¡°I guess we are doing this her way. Sell everything.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You heard me. If it isn¡¯t nailed down sell it. If it is nailed down pry that shit up and then find a buyer.¡±

    ¡°This is crazy and considering the loans she just took probably illegal!¡± Darleen yelled. ¡°We will be ruined!¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Rupert sighed. ¡°She will be ruined. The fact that we are going down with her seems to be of little concern to her. She owns the store, she calls the shots. Sell everything. Looks like things are going to shit here so try to find buyers for our equipment off-world or something.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t be a party to this!¡± Darleen shouted. ¡°We need to call the board!¡±

    ¡°The board is just a bunch of her old raid-¡± Rupert was cut off by a distant explosion. ¡°Do you hear that?¡± he yelled. ¡°There are explosions <em>in my neighborhood</em>! The world is falling to shit and you are worried about a fuckingpany?!? There isn¡¯t going to be a world left to run it in! Now if you won¡¯t do exactly what Big Momma wants then I will find someone who will! Sell everything!¡±

    ¡°¡­ Fine...¡± Darleen grumbled. ¡°But not until I call the board.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t bother. You¡¯re fired. Clear out your shit,¡± Rupert snapped.

    ¡°W-what?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have time for this! My kids are in a death camp, they are re-enacting the Terran War outside, my grandmother has apparently lost her mind, and we can''t even get a fucking box of Bunny Crunch!¡±

    ¡°Bunny Crunch?¡±

    ¡°Just¡­ Just pack your shit. You¡¯ll get your package. I¡¯d sell your shares at market price right fucking now if I were you.¡±

    ¡°Rupert, please,¡± Darleen begged.

    ¡°I¡¯m doing you a favor,¡± Rupert snapped. ¡°Big Momma talked about taking thepany back to it¡¯s ¡®roots¡¯. If she is talking about the roots I think she is talking about you need to get the fuck out of there. Now clear out your shit. I have my life''s work to chop up and sell.¡±

    Rupert hung up and let the phone slip through his fingers. He went over and started to hug Tessa. He didn¡¯t know what else to do.

    As more ster fire rang out in the distance there was a knock at the door.

    He picked up the phone and pulled up the camera. There were several very old people standing outside.

    ¡°Figures,¡± he muttered and walked to the door.

    An elderly gentleman smiled as the door opened.

    ¡°Shawn Vance,¡± their leader said with a polite nod. ¡°I¡¯m an old¡­ <em>associate</em> of your grandmother¡¯s.¡±

    ***

    In the ck outer reaches of an insignificant dead system a huge freighter slipped out of hyperspace and decloaked.

    ¡°ck Dragon to Princess. Do you read?¡±

    ¡°Princess here,¡± one of a dozen ships hiding in the system transmitted back. ¡°d to see you ck Dragon¡±.

    ¡°All of your ships are to decloak immediately. Only one ship will approach at any given time. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°Aww, you are making us feel like you don¡¯t trust us.¡±

    ¡°You rashers are lucky we are even here. If you don¡¯t like it we will happily depart.¡±

    ¡°Ok, Terran scum, if we little piggies scare you that bad we¡¯ll y your bullshit game. I am jumping to your position now.¡±

    ¡°Wait until we have deployed our Shrikes. We will tell you when you are cleared for approach.¡±

    ¡°Shrikes? Damn, Johnny, rolling out the red carpet, huh?¡±

    ¡°Your reputation precedes you, Sasha,¡± Johnny responded. ¡°If you think I¡¯m going to let a fucking belter pirate bum-rush us you got another thinging.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that as apliment. Let me know when I can rendezvous with you, Sasha out.¡±

    ***

    About an hourter Sasha Glent stood in one of the airlocks leading into the ck Dragon.

    ¡°Alright, you¡¯re clean. No virus detected.¡± a voice said over a speaker. ¡°There is a table just inside. Please put all of your weapons there, including the derringer you have tucked into your panties.¡±

    ¡°Spoilsport,¡± Sashaughed.

    The airlock cycled and Sasha stepped inside the ship dutifully putting all of her arms (including her pantie pistol) on the table.

    A hatch opened and arge tough-looking muscr ck man entered nked on either side by shotgun carrying armored guards.

    ¡°You must be Johnny,¡± Sasha said her deeply wrinkled face breaking out into a smile. ¡°You look just like Hortense. How is the old biddy anyhow?¡±

    ¡°Why not ask her yourself?¡± an ancient voice called out as the hatch opened again and a venerable ebon-skinned woman, wearing a mobility exoskeleton, stepped into the room.

    ¡°Holy shit it¡¯s robo-cunt!¡± Sasha said with a grin.

    ¡°Ha, ha, bitch,¡± Hortense said as she stepped forward arms wide. ¡°Shit it¡¯s good to see you again, Sash.¡±

    ¡°You too, Hort,¡± she said hugging her. ¡°God, it¡¯s been what? A hundred years?¡±

    ¡°More or less,¡± Hortense replied. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about Micah. Considering how everything went I didn¡¯t know if I should have said something or sent something but his loss was noted. He was a good man, an asshole, but a good man.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, I still miss that asshole,¡± Sasha replied. ¡°He never forgave you for splitting the crew and siding with that fucker Nakamura by the way.¡±

    ¡°And I can¡¯t believe you would throw in with that Morgan cunt,¡± Hortense replied. ¡°Jesus, Sasha, after what she did?¡±

    ¡°Oh and the Terrans were any better? Chaplin¡¯s Raiders? The Knights? <em>Patricia fucking Hu?!?</em> They were just as shitty as Morgan was if not worse! Jessica Morgan might have been evil incarnate but I¡¯ll take the devil that I know any day. Besides,¡± Shasha grinned, ¡°The smart money was on Morgan and you know it! Who would have thought that Zeus would suddenly shit out a million rifles¡­ and that they would actually work!¡±

    ¡°You could have still switched sidester on, you know,¡± Hortense said. ¡°I had connections. I could¡¯ve slipped you in no problem.¡±

    ¡°Nobody trusts a traitor, Hortense,¡± Sasha replied. ¡°You of all people should know that. I was pretty sure that those mud crawlers would have hung you belters out to dry the second they stopped needing you. To be honest, I was kinda disappointed when they didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Ouch,¡± Hortenseughed. ¡°Well, it seems to have worked out for you in the end. You certainly have the credits to throw around. Speaking of, we got almost everything you asked for.¡±

    ¡°Almost everything?¡±

    ¡°No ground pounders,¡± Hortense said firmly. ¡°I¡¯m not giving you porkies reentry capable missiles. I trust <em>you</em> but if just one of those things got in the hands of someone wanting to settle an old score I <em>can not</em> risk thating back on me. You will have to get those somewhere else.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Sasha chuckled. ¡°I figured those were a long shot.¡±

    ¡°And I couldn¡¯t get my hands on enough sters or gauss rifles, but I got loads of AK¡¯s and a fucking mountain of ammo, the good stuff.¡±

    ¡°Well, those AK¡¯s won you assholes Sol so I guess they¡¯ll do. What about thepliance tubes? Were you able to get some of those?¡±

    ¡°Just a few,¡± Hortense grinned.

    Arge set of doors opened revealing the main cargo bay. Inside were <em>thousands</em> of tubes arranged on pallets.

    ¡°Ho-lee shit!¡± Sasha gasped.

    Hortense grinned.

    ¡°And they are all top quality,test generation targeting and fire control with shield defeating five kiloton warheads, enough oomph to take down a Fed battleship. Don¡¯t get any ideas though. If you try to target a Republic naval vessel or a settlement you won¡¯t like what happens.¡±

    ¡°You got us <em>nukes</em>?¡±

    ¡°I figured I would take all those credits you were shing,¡± Hortenseughed. ¡°Annnd I have something perhaps just as nice.¡± She tossed Sasha a small pouch.

    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡±

    ¡°Concentrated emergency rations,¡± Hortense smiled. ¡°That little brick has enough calories and nutrients to support onebatant for twenty-four hours. It¡¯s a lot like eating greasy candle-wax but it will keep you going and they will keep forever. I have 250,000 units.¡±

    ¡°Nice!¡± Sasha eximed. ¡°I¡¯ll take the lot!¡±

    Sasha started to wander through the cargo bay.

    ¡°What about heavy weapons?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I have light, medium, and heavy machine guns, mortars, rocketunchers, recoilless rifles, grenadeunchers, anti-material rifles, and more!¡± Hortense eximed happily. ¡°Everything you need to get an army on its feet.¡±

    ¡°Once we get these tubes bought and the small-arms squared away I will definitely want some of those!¡± Sasha replied. ¡°If I have enough cargo space that is.¡±

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking,¡± Hortense said after a few moments. ¡°Unless you are doing a <em>lot</em> better than I thought this has to be a healthy multiple of every credit you have to your name. I get the whole wanting to arm yourself but this goes <em>way</em> beyond that. What gives?¡±

    ¡°They got my great-grandchildren,¡± Sasha growled. ¡°When they did that they dered war on Sasha Glent! If they want a war then that¡¯s exactly what they are gonna get¡­ Well that,¡± Sasha grinned, ¡°and I¡¯m going to make a fucking fortune reselling this shit. Every porkie in the Federation is screaming for guns and <em>somebody¡¯s</em> gotta sell them...¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s the Sasha I know and love!¡± Hortenseughed. She then pulled out a zed stoneware jug. ¡°How ¡®bout we catch up, and talk about how much money we are going to make, while you¡¯re getting your ships loaded?¡±

    ¡°Oh no! Not your star-squeezings!¡± Sashaughed. ¡°I don¡¯t think my old liver can handle that!¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Hortense eximed. ¡°This is made from actual corn! And I''ve gotten a little better over the years. There is a very good chance you won¡¯t go blind!¡±

    ***

    Jon watched the news with a frown.

    ¡°Well, our porcine friends certainly know how to throw a fit,¡± Toby said as he poured himself a cup of tea.

    ¡°Serves the fucking Feds right,¡± Skippy snarled. ¡°Hope they give ¡®em what they goting.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not one topliment those fucks but our history shows exactly how much of a mess those assholes can cause. We want them all dead for a reason,¡± Jon said as he scratched Skippy behind the ears. ¡°I¡¯m sure they will show the Feds a good time. What I don¡¯t like is this intel report you got for us. Hu has slipped offworld? Fuck. We missed our shot.¡±

    ¡°How did you get that intel, Skippy?¡± Toby asked as he sipped his tea.

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s about time you met the guys,¡± Skippy said as she leaned into Jon¡¯s scritches.

    ¡°The guys?¡± Jon asked.

    ¡°Yep. You know that conference table you wondered about?¡±

    ***

    Later that evening Jon and Skippy made their way to the noodle shop. The owner smiled and unlocked the door leading into the back for them.

    Inside, seated around the conference table, were five beings each of a different race.

    ¡°Gentlebeings,¡± Skippy said with a smile. ¡°May I present Jon Wintersmith.¡±

    ¡°Greetings,¡± a rotund toad-like being said with a deep rumble, ¡°I am Vulzzzzrup of the R¡¯rrurrk.¡±

    ¡°Gtx-Zxx of the Xneel,¡± a slender insectoid creature buzzed as it nodded it¡¯s head.

    ¡°Hlungh of the Huuunnn¡± a lightly furred hexapod said with a quite human like smile revealing an impressive set of fangs.

    ¡°Morzoan of the Ulunth¡± an oddly translucent green mound said, it¡¯s ¡°voice¡±ing from a speaker it wore around its neck.

    ¡°Karalintu of the Morai, a thinvender skinned biped with an elongated pointed head, mandibles, and an entirely disturbing number of what were probably eyes.

    ¡°And Skippy of the Xvli,¡± Skippy said plopping down into one of the seats. ¡°Please join us, Jon.¡±

    ¡°Ok...¡± Jon said dubiously as he took a seat next to Skippy.

    ¡°Unfortunately the rest of us were unable to send representatives in time for this meeting but there is a quorum present so we can proceed,¡± Vulzzzzrup rumbled.

    ¡°Now Jon,¡± Skippy said holding his hand, ¡°I love you very much. You know that, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°But my first priority is my people. You have to understand that, right?¡±

    ¡°Ok...¡±

    There were mutterings from the other beings around the table.

    ¡°Yeah, we are a couple,¡± Skippy said to the group, ¡°deal with it.¡±

    ¡°Unexpected,¡± Morzoan said as he made an odd bubbling noise.

    ¡°That¡¯s putting it mildly,¡± Vulzzzzrup added, ¡°I am concerned about a conflict of interest.¡±

    ¡°There is no conflict,¡± Skippy growled. ¡°To imply such is to put my loyalty to the Xvli in question. Are you <em>certain</em> you want to do that, Vulzzzzrup?¡±

    ¡°The question must be addressed,¡± Karalintu piped, ¡°You abandon your position, a very valuable position for us, to take up arms with this Terran? I already had concerns but to now know that you are <em>lying</em> with him...¡±

    ¡°Hey! I made a judgment call,¡± Skippy snapped. ¡°This situation with the Terrans is far more important than some shit council seat. You assholes can buy five to take my ce.¡±

    ¡°But they aren¡¯t one of <em>us</em>¡±, Karalintu intoned. ¡°You must understand the significance of that.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯ll get back on the council when this is done,¡± Skippy replied. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m just taking a little break, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°<em>If</em> you can get back on the council,¡± Vulzzzzrup croaked.

    ¡°Oh that won¡¯t be a problem,¡± Skippy chuckled. ¡°They love me and this little stunt will put my numbers through the roof. Shacking up with a Terran? Wiping the floor with a few more? They will just gobble those pellets up!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like this,¡± Gtx-Zxx buzzed, ¡°but I do trust Skippy. I do not doubt her loyalty to her people nor to us. If she feels that abandoning her position to take up arms with these Terrans is a good move then we should at least hear her out.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Gtx-Zxx,¡± Skippy said. ¡°I¡¯m not going to lie to you. My main reason for abandoning my joke of a position and take up arms is purely personal. The man that I love is in peril and I¡¯m not letting him go alone. I love Jon. Pure and simple.¡± She paused as she looked adoringly at Jon, then she returned her gaze to the assembly. ¡°That being said there are plenty of reasons for one of us to be with them. The situation in the Republic could easily be a threat to us all. If Patricia Hu seeds in usurping the Republic then it¡¯s only a matter of time before there is war. We obviously don¡¯t want that, do we? We also have wanted to establish direct contact with the Republic. Aiding Jon serves that aim. Once this is resolved our aid will not go unnoticed. This is an incredible opportunity for us. The fact that I¡¯m serving my own personal interests is irrelevant. For the cost of one ship and sharing intelligence that we are gathering anyway we gain exactly what we have been desperately needing.¡±

    ¡°Ok, Skippy,¡± Jon said with a poker face, ¡°exactly what the flying fuck is going on?¡±

    ¡°Jon, remember when I said that there were other races that had the same opinion of the Federation as we Xvli? What I didn¡¯t say was that we have formed a ¡®friendship¡¯ of sorts, what you in the Republic would call a ''special interest group''. We, unofficially of course, often cooperate sharing intelligence, resources, and the like. We have never officially given ourselves a name, but the Federation calls us the Cabal.¡±

    ¡°They consider us something akin to organized crime, not a ¡®special interest group¡¯,¡± Karalintuughed making a musical st. ¡°They aren¡¯t overly fond of us.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Vulzzzzrup rumbled. ¡°They do not look kindly upon things in their little kingdom that they cannot control. Most of our actions, however, are legal¡­ mostly...¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Jon mused. ¡°Makes sense. And we are getting our ship from you?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Vulzzzzrup replied. ¡°a very nice ship. It should serve your purposes quite well.¡±

    ¡°And what do you, all of you,¡± Jon asked looking squarely at Skippy, ¡°expect in return.¡±

    ¡°Nothing but the beginnings of a dialogue,¡± Morzoan bubbled. ¡°It would not be a good beginning to what will hopefully be asting rtionship if we were to take advantage of your current difficulties now would it? We want to be friends and that will not happen if we¡­ secrete our sperm onto you while you are crawling? Did that trante?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jonughed. ¡°Yeah it did. So what do you want out of our friendship?¡±

    Vulzzzzrup made a deep rumbling sound.

    ¡°We are¡­ <em>very</em> unhappy with the Federation. We¡¯ve never liked them overmuch but over the past few years a mild distaste has grown into much more.¡±

    ¡°Ever since the Great War,¡± Gtx-Zxx added, ¡°We were quite unhappy with the Federation¡¯s decision to sit back and let you and the Empire bleed yourselves nearly to death when we were clearly the beneficiaries of your sacrifice. We should havemitted forces to your aid. Perhaps together we could have done more than just thwart their advance. We might have been able to put an end to the threat for good.¡±

    ¡°Then there was that¡­ spilled spawn¡­ that was the Terran War,¡± Karalintu said with a ring noise. ¡°Disgraceful, shameful, foolish¡­ <em>cowardly</em>¡­ and even worse aplete failure. All they aplished was topletely alienate both the Republic and the Empire.¡±

    ¡°If the Collective strikes here, which ording to our intelligence their probable next move, we will be abandoned to our fate by both the Republic and the Empire,¡± Morzoan said with a squirting noise.

    ¡°You got that right,¡± Jon replied. ¡°You fuckers are on your own.¡±

    ¡°And it took thebined military might of the Empire and the Republic, each of them more than our equal to stop themst time. Next time it will be even worse. When, not if, they attack us the Federation is fucked,¡± Skippy said calmly, ¡°Fucked. And when the bugse crawling over us we don¡¯t want to go extinct. Our homeworlds are probably doomed but we cannot just sit and wait for our eventual extinction. That¡¯s why we want to establish good rtions with the Republic, and dare to dream the Empire, independently of the Federation.¡±

    She paused and took a deep breath.

    ¡°Courage, [emailprotected]~kthAAAaalliIi,¡± she said as she grabbed Jon¡¯s hand. ¡°That¡¯s why I volunteered to be the council¡¯s liaison with you. That¡¯s why I started to try to establish a rapport with you. But that¡¯s it! I didn¡¯t n on falling for you, Jon. That wasn¡¯t the n! If anything it was the opposite of the n! My feelings for you are <em>real</em>, Jon. They-¡±

    Jon patted her hand.

    ¡°No, I get it,¡± he said gently. ¡°In a perfect world we would just be two beat up old vets who hooked up over some noodles but that isn¡¯t the world we live in. I have my loyalties and you have yours. I would be pretty stupid if I thought that you would betray your people for me and I hope you aren¡¯t stupid enough to believe that I would betray my people for you. I knew this would beplicated when I let you lead me into that pile of cushions.¡±

    He paused as he stroked her fur.

    ¡°And if I¡¯m being perfectly honest I cultivated our friendship with some ulterior motives as well,¡± he said with a smile, ¡°I am¡­ was the ambassador after all. What happened after that happened¡­ and I love you too,¡± he said as he kissed her much to the difort of the others in the room. ¡°As long as I can love you and love the Republic I will do both. Please don¡¯t make me have to chose. You won¡¯t like my decision.¡±

    Skippy breathed a huge sigh of relief and leaned into Jon.

    ¡°And for the record knowing that you are getting all of this intel and the ship from this ¡®Cabal¡¯ and not from the Federation is a huge load off of my mind!¡± Jon said with a grin. ¡°A shadowy pseudo-criminal organization I can deal with and sleep at night. Kissing up to the Feds just made me kinda queasy!¡±

    ¡°See!¡± Skippy said brightly. ¡°I knew you guys would like him!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you two entangled slugs have resolved things,¡± Morzoan bubbled, ¡°Just in time for us to thoroughly annoy your lover.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Jon said as he raised his eyebrow.

    ¡°Do we have to get into this now?¡± Skippy whined.

    ¡°Oh I think it¡¯s best if we get everything out in the open right here and now,¡± Jon said firmly. ¡°Annoy away.¡±

    ¡°We know about the Titan ss carriers and the arks,¡± Morzoan said with a little burp.

    ¡°Say what now?¡±

    ¡°You heard me, human,¡± Morzoan replied. ¡°We know about them. We know that you are currently constructing a ss of carrier that dwarfs the Retribution ss. We also know that in a departure from your policies, you are making a point to pay close attention to race and sex when ites to manning them. We know that you are doing so because the Titan ss will be able to carry enough humans to be a gically viable sample. We also know of the great arks that you have been building since the Great War, each fully self sufficient and capable of once again, carrying enough humans to be gically viable.¡±

    ¡°We, of course,¡± Gtx-Zxx said, ¡°have absolutely no idea where they are being built, even we cannot locate your Grand Shipyard or Shipyards as I personally suspect is the case. We also have no information concerning the design of these craft save that they are somehow even bigger than your already obscene carriers. We simply know that they are being built and that a surprising number of people are simply ¡®disappearing¡¯ never to be seen again.¡±

    ¡°Well I can honestly tell you that I have no idea what you are talking about,¡± Jon replied. ¡°That is way beyond my pay grade and since I¡¯m posted in a foreign locale they certainly wouldn¡¯t include me in the briefings.¡±

    ¡°You are building them,¡± Vulzzzzrup said simply. ¡°<em>Our</em> intelligencework is still quite intact. Your shipyard workers have absolutely no idea where they are taken but they aren¡¯t blind. And while they are carefully screened there are so many of them that at least one of them is willing to talk. The Terrans are taking precautions so that they will exist as a species even if the Collective overruns all of known space. We also know that there has been significant effort in locating and perhaps even reaching habitable worlds well beyond the range of what is considered practical or even possible. We would like to take part in this endeavor.¡±

    ¡°At the very least,¡± Skippy added. ¡°You have a lot of space avable on the worlds you already inhabit, space enough to amodate significant portions of our poptions not even considering all the room in the sr systems for space based colonies. That¡¯s it, Jon,¡± Skippy said gripping his hand nervously. ¡°We just don¡¯t want to go extinct because the fucking Feds are morons.¡±

    ¡°Well I wouldn¡¯t have been able to make any promises before and I certainly can¡¯t now,¡± Jon said thoughtfully. ¡°I also honestly have no knowledge of these ¡®arks¡¯ or these ¡®Titan ss¡¯ carriers. But what you want is perfectly understandable and quite reasonable.¡±

    He paused and looked up at the ceiling.

    ¡°And if the bugs do attack in sufficient force that the Federation goes under we¡¯re next and we will want every single gun and every single ship we can get. I assume you would be willing to join us in defending your new home?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Karalintu sang. ¡°And we have <em>significant</em> military forces at our disposal. The Xvli aren¡¯t the only ones constantly in trouble with the Federation.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s just the forces that they know about,¡± Vulzzzzrup said with a satisfied croak. ¡°We have plenty of firepower, not enough to defeat the collective by ourselves but should we stand together you will be far from disappointed.¡±

    ¡°Again I can¡¯t make a single promise but I can tell you that should I by some miracle regain any decision making capacity this is very interesting. If I can¡¯t talk to you myself I can probably get you guys in touch with the right people.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s all we can ask,¡± Skippy said as she nuzzled him. ¡°I am so happy to finally get this off of my chest, Jon.¡±

    ¡°So, we have a ship?¡± Jon asked as he managed to look through Skippy¡¯s fur at the assembly.

    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s already on the surface at a hidden location,¡± Vulzzzzrup replied quite ufortable at the disy of inter-species affection in front of him. ¡°In fact, the crew is here and waiting to meet you.¡±

    Vulzzzzrup picked up amunicator and typed in a message.

    A momentter a door leading into the room opened and a small ck-haired human woman and a flink wearing a brightly colored loose shirt decorated with strange looking flowers walked in.

    ¡°I¡¯m Beth and this is Scales,¡± she said with a look of pure displeasure on her face. ¡°And I¡¯m just <em>de-fucking-lighted</em> to be working with you Terran fuckers!¡±

 Chapter A Conversation With Jessica Morgan

    Chapter A Conversation With Jessica Morgan

    Jessica Morgan lounged in her study sipping a vintage port as she watched the news.

    She snorted and shook her head. She pulled up her trading software and smiled. Her short-sells and put options were doing quite nicely. An encrypted e-mail, the old format, popped up. She opened her desk and pulled out an archaic Earth-tech holographic thumb-drive and plugged it into her antique desktop.

    ¡°How the fuck did you get nukes?¡± she chuckled. ¡°Terrence,¡± she called into her phone.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Contact Sasha Glent and ce an order for fifty of those delightful missiles she is offering for sale, please. To be clear I want the ones armed with the nukes, just in case she has any conventional crap on offer.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°Also see how many of those rations she will turn loose. In fact, see how many she can get us through her contacts. Weapons I have. Those rations however, are quite intriguing. I shall buy whatever she can get us up to ten million units.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°That will be all,¡± she said as she set down her phone and returned to her port. She idly pulled up her soldiers¡¯¡­ oops¡­ her <em>misceneous employee¡¯s</em> readiness reports. She smiled. She was in pretty good condition. In fact, she had a fair chance of taking the if she felt like it.

    Not that she was even remotely inclined to do that! She tried that whole warrior-queen thing before. Fuck that noise! She refilled her ss.

    ¡°Excuse me, ma¡¯am,¡± Terrence announced over her phone. ¡°The Federation Prime Minister wishes to speak with you.¡±

    ¡°By all means, put him through.¡±

    Prime Minister Voxxkreen¡¯Shal-Kalleri¡¯s image appeared on her desktop''s archaic two-dimensional disy. Holograms annoyed her.

    ¡°Voxxie!¡± Jessica eximed cheerfully raising her ss. ¡°Are your pendulous bits properly pendulous?¡±

    ¡°Such levity is inappropriate concerning the reason for this call,¡± the Prime Minister said sourly.

    ¡°Hang on, Voxxie,¡± Jessica said as she stepped off screen. ¡°I¡¯m gonna need a bigger ss.¡± She returned shortly with a highball ss and promptly emptied her port into it and topped it off.

    ¡°Ok, Voxxie,¡± she said as she took a nice long sip, ¡°Shoot.¡±

    ¡°Are you intoxicated?¡± he asked with disapproval. ¡°I need you clear-headed.¡±

    ¡°Voxxie, baby,¡± sheughed. ¡°If I¡¯m not intoxicated I¡¯m straight up stoned these days. This is about as good as you are gonna get.¡±

    ¡°Harrumph,¡± the Prime Minister grumbled. ¡°I wish to seek your counsel concerning your species, Jessica.¡±

    ¡°Lovely little shits, aren¡¯t they?¡± sheughed. ¡°Imagine trying to lead those fuckers.¡±

    ¡°Leading them is exactly the issue with which I seek your advice,¡± the Prime Minister said disapprovingly. Human levity is something that he keenly disliked. Their penchant for making light of the most serious topics was just horribly wrong. ¡°I wish to know how to best deal with the current situation.¡±

    ¡°Well first of all,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°Lock up your fucking files. That¡¯s my first bit of council. If you are gonna cheer on our extinction don¡¯t let the fucking tapes hit the streets. It kinda pisses ¡®em off.¡±

    ¡°We areunching a full investigation!¡± the Prime Minister eximed in annoyance. ¡°And would you please not make light of such a dire situation!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you a freebie,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°She motherfucking Donovan. She¡¯s your girl. Her team did the strike and the hack.¡±

    ¡°And just how do you know this?¡±

    ¡°Helena Sterling, that¡¯s how,¡± Jessica replied as she took another big sip. ¡°That little bitch is screwing one of her former men and she was the one who broke the fucking story! She¡¯s been sucking She¡¯s dick since the White Star. In reality she is sucking Paul Roberts¡¯s dick but whatever.¡±

    She saw the Prime Minister start to open his respiratory orifice.

    ¡°And why do I know about that Helena bitch? Because she has been taking pot-shots, very well aimed pot shots, at more than one influential member of our society. She¡¯s been a big enough of a pain in our collective ass that I did some digging¡­ Of course the stuff she is saying about me is wildly inurate¡­ Of course,¡± she chuckled.

    ¡°¡­ Of course...¡± the Prime Minister said clenching his orifice into a rigid circle of a frown. ¡°Oh, please allow me the opportunity to express my condolences over the loss of your grandson. I understand if you wish to seek revenge but please use some discretion...¡±

    ¡°Oh hell no!¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°You do your own dirty work! No way I¡¯m crossing that bitch! She took down the fucking White Star without a single casualty and hacked her way into your most secure systems without breaking a sweat! You think I want that demon on <em>my</em> ass? I¡¯ll just put another grand-kid in power. I got spares, you know.¡±

    She paused and took another sip.

    ¡°I know¡­ I gotta do something,¡± she grumbled, ¡°I just can¡¯t let someone get away with killing one of mine and putting it on (snicker) fucking pay-per-view. I just gotta figure out how to save face without pissing her off bad enough to actuallye after me. If you are up for a bit of counsel I could use a hand with that.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I have no advice to offer,¡± the Prime Minister said after a few moments. He was at aplete loss. Humans were known for their love of their progeny, perhaps even more than a lot of races, and she treating what had to be an incredibly painful situation with the same dammed levity with which she treated everything. If he didn¡¯t know better he would believe she had no regard for the life of her own grandchild.

    ¡°Bah, just like a fucking Fed,¡± she chuckled. ¡°Come here asking for shit and have nothing to offer in return.¡±

    The Prime Minister just sat therepletely flummoxed. His irritation grew into full bore anger.

    ¡°I believe that you have benefited sufficiently over our association that you would be inclined to regard the situation as one where you owed me ¡®something in return¡¯!¡±

    ¡°Jesus, Voxxie, I¡¯m just screwing with ya,¡± Jessicaughed taking another drink. ¡°So, the humans...¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the Prime Minister replied. ¡°How do I get them back under control.¡±

    Jessica broke into a genuineugh.

    ¡°I thought your kind didn¡¯t crack jokes,¡± she said stillughing. ¡°Oh shit. You were serious weren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Very,¡± the Prime Minister said trying to control his temper. She was making fun of him. He just knew it.

    ¡°Ok, I¡¯ll tell ya¡¯ what to do,¡± Jessica said taking another long sip. ¡°and this is aplete freebie, without any regard for my own personal gain. Get on top of this now, right fucking now! Say that the people on those tapes do not represent the Federation. Sling them right under the fucking bus¡­ Sorry, that¡¯s a human expression,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°I mean set them up to take the me. Fire everyone on those tapes. Force their resignations, all of them! Arrest them, shit, make up some charges if there aren''t any that will work. Then you put humans on the councils that are calling the shots. There aren¡¯t enough councilors so make an advisory group or something. Put the humans at the helm right away, like now! You have¡­ seventy-two hours at the <em>absolute</em> max before things get bad.¡±

    ¡°Things are already bad! They have killed <em>councilors</em>!¡±

    Jessicaughed again.

    ¡°No they aren¡¯t,¡± she said as she topped off her ss. ¡°Right now you are just dealing with crack-pots and hot-heads¡­ sorry¡­ unbnced individuals that just grabbed something out of the closet they weren¡¯t supposed to have and just started sting. That¡¯s just some random damage, a few deaths, no biggie. No. That¡¯s not bad, not <em>yet.¡±</em>

    She took another big sip.

    ¡°Bad is going to be when the more rational and better organized people start working in teams to actually <em>do something about this</em>. Then, it will be bad,¡± she paused and looked right into his eyes. ¡°Voxxie, you gotta keep that from happening.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t just back down!¡± he eximed. ¡°It will be rewarding their bad despicable actions! We can¡¯t deal with terrorists! Their murderous rampage cannot be allowed to bear fruit!¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t about rewarding or punishing,¡± Jessica said with a smirk. ¡°This is about protecting the Federation, so pull your head out of your ass or wherever it is that you take a dump. You won¡¯t be dealing with <em>the terrorists</em>. You will be appealing to thest shreds of what you consider humanity before, as that bitch so eloquently put it, you start dealing with <em>Homo Sapiens.</em> You don¡¯t want that. I don¡¯t want that. Nobody fucking wants that.¡±

    ¡°Protecting the Federation?¡± the Prime Minister scoffed. ¡°That¡¯s overstating things just a bit, don¡¯t you think?¡±

    Jessica leaned forward into the monitor.

    ¡°You asked for my counsel and this is it,¡± she said with a more serious tone than he had ever heard her utter before. ¡°<em>Make a fucking deal.</em> I can send you a list of names, people who have influence, people who can actually lead these fucking animals. <em>Talk</em> to them. Make that deal! And whatever you do do NOT try to do some bullshit crackdown. If you try to fight them they WILL fight back.¡±

    ¡°I cannot do as you rmend,¡± the Prime Minister replied. ¡°They have caused death and destruction and we cannot allow ourselves to appear weak in the face of this deplorable assault! They have used military weaponry on the streets of the capital itself, killing numerous government officials including several councilors! They can¡¯t be allowed to run riot. They must be brought to heel. I asked you for advice on subduing the disturbance not-¡±

    ¡°Then you are <em>fucked!</em>¡± Jessica snapped cutting him off. ¡°You asked me, who led these fucking animals at their absolute worst, what to do and I just fucking told you! It¡¯s on your head now.¡± she said taking a big gulp. ¡°And, Voxxie, don¡¯t call me asking for a solution when things go exactly the way that I told you they would because once that happens, there is nothing that can be done and I will have been forced to make a choice between the humans and the Federation. I¡¯m gonna choose the humans and you know why?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because if I don¡¯t they will drag me out of this nice house of mine and if I¡¯m <em>very</em> lucky they will just put me against the wall instead of doing what I actually deserve. I¡¯m not kidding, Voxxie. As of now I have no choice but to side with the humans. The usual saying is ¡®God forgive me.¡¯ but I¡¯m well past that point. Bye, Voxxie.¡±

    ¡°Wait-¡±

    Jessica terminated the video chat and picked up her phone.

    ¡°Terrence,¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Make that one hundred missiles if you can get them.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°And inform our ¡®special employees¡¯, they are all to report to their assigned positions and equip themselves.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    Jessica stood up and walked to the window with her highball ss full of port, and looked across her grounds. She took a moment to truly appreciate the gardens, the sculptures and the fountains.

    ¡°Well it was nice while itsted,¡± she said to nobody in particr and then drained her ss and tossed it aside. It shattered against the floor.

    ¡°Terrance,¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Execute Yellowstone protocol.¡±

    ¡°I am required to confirm your intent and state of mind. Are you sure and are you overly intoxicated or under the influence of any drugs at this time?¡±

    ¡°I am clear of mind, not <em>overly</em> intoxicated, and I confirm my intent. Execute Yellowstone confirmed.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am. Starting Yellowstone protocol effective immediately.¡±

    ¡°Cry havoc,¡± she chuckled.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s Shakespeare.¡±

    ¡°Shakespeare, ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. Yellowstone this bitch up!¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

 Chapter A Crisis of Faith, Jessica Has a Conference Call, and the Critters Snoop

    Chapter A Crisis of Faith, Jessica Has a Conference Call, and the Critters Snoop

    War Chain Peter Dupris knelt before an altar in one of The Chosen''s secret underground chapels his hands sped in prayer.

    A slender woman in a grey skirt and zer entered, silently walked through the chapel, and after making the sign of the cross knelt beside him.

    ¡°Has the inquisitionpleted their investigation?¡± he asked after a few moments.

    ¡°Yes, Father,¡± the woman replied. ¡°It is as we feared. In addition to our former leader, Silvia Salvatore, scans of all of our bishops revealed the taint of Patricia Hu. The list distributed by Jon Wintersmith was correct. Our entire leadership has beenpromised.¡±

    ¡°And what action has been taken?¡±

    ¡°They are all being held, Father, pending judgement from the senior member of the clergy.¡± the woman paused and then smiled. ¡°There has been a decision concerning that as well¡­ <em>Your Excellency</em>...¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Peter replied. ¡°Then my judgement is that they be given mercy.¡±

    ¡°Mercy, Your Excellency?¡± she asked raising an eyebrow.

    ¡°Yes,¡± he smiled. ¡°Do not remove their tongues so they may repent and offer their souls to THE LORD as they are burned at the stake.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± the woman smiled. ¡°Most merciful, indeed.¡±

    ¡°And what of the inquisition?¡± he asked. ¡°Have they chosen a new High Inquisitor?¡±

    ¡°There are several worthy candidates,¡± the woman replied. ¡°The final choice has been left to you.¡±

    ¡°I assume you are on that list?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Your Excellency,¡± she smiled.

    ¡°So, <em>High Inquisitor</em>...¡± Bishop Dupris, High Bishop of the Chosen said as he smiled at her. ¡°what of our people?¡±

    ¡°They are shaken, Your Excellency,¡± the woman frowned. ¡°This betrayal and now this vile pestilence that infected us spread by that same betrayal cuts deep.¡±

    ¡°Have the infected been identified and quarantined?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Your Excellency.¡±

    ¡°Then I shall administerst rites and absolve them so that they may fall upon their swords without sin.¡±

    ¡°Most kind, Your Excellency.¡±

    ¡°Concerning our shaken flock,¡± he mused, ¡°Are you familiar with <em>The Promation</em>?¡±

    ¡°That heresy?¡±

    ¡°Dered so by the very heretics that we shall now consign to the purifying me,¡± he replied.

    He turned to her with a wicked smile.

    ¡°In fact,¡± he continued, ¡°I believe it to be the actual word of THE LORD as evidenced by the miracles granted to the <em>prophet</em> and <em>martyr</em> who uttered those very same words.¡±

    ¡°Miracles?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Bishop Dupris replied. ¡°On Red Sunday when the vile Federationunched their attack upon our foe one of the greatest of us, <em>The Hammer of God</em>, Miche Vasquez arose from the dead. When they made their doomednding in New Brussels she proimed that all Children of GOD, regardless of religion or species were under the protection of THE LORD and if they stood against the Federation THE LORD stood with them. Then she was granted the strength of a legion. No needle or beam could stop her as she slew a countless host of the invaders. Finally, upon reaching theirnders andmand post she burst into holy purifying me cleansing the field. From the reports we have gathered from that day her damaged suit of armor and its malfunctioning and leaking reactor should not have been able to detonate with such divine force. In fact she should have perished not long after powering it up. It was clearly the hand of THE LORD blessing her.¡±

    ¡°But she stood alongside the Saracen sphemer! Held one in her arms as he descended into Hell!¡­ Wept over his body! It is even whispered that she¡­ that they...¡±

    ¡°It seems such things matter far more to us than they do to THE LORD.¡± the bishop replied. ¡°HIS hand blessed her just the same. In fact, it was in that exact moment that she received HIS grace. It was at that moment that THE LORD spoke through her.¡±

    ¡°But Your Excellency...¡±

    ¡°Such things are not without precedent,¡± the bishop said calmly. ¡°Consider Saint Peter¡¯s Vision of the Sheet. THE LORD was quite clear then and I believe he is quite clear today. We were wrong and ourck of vision was punished first by our defeat, then by our suffering in exile, and now by this betrayal and pestilence by the same people who we allowed, through our hate and greed, to mislead us from the start. How many more times must THE LORD smite us before we listen to HIS truth? Besides...¡±

    The Bishop stood and stretched.

    ¡°The Chosen are in disarray, shaken, confused, and frightened. They need something they can rally behind. <em>The Promation</em> is perfect. The fact that we can, even if we must stretch a little,y im to <em>miracles</em> in this day and age will strengthen their faith and revitalize their spirits. We as <em>a people</em> face a threat, a very real and very present threat at the hands of the Federation. We have the arms, we have the suits of power armor, and we have the skill to use them. What have we been preserving these things for if not now? Perhaps even more importantly we have never been epted, forced to hide even now, due to our terrestrial origins and our history of strife against many of those we have been condemned to live with. We have been granted an opportunity to stand with ''our people'', whether we want them to be or not, and perhaps, just perhaps, im a ce among them. Remember <em>The Promation</em> and The Vision of the Sheet. It is not for us to say that they are unclean if THE LORD has imed them. We have been brought here by THE LORD, to HIS people, and given this trial. We shall not fail HIM,¡± the bishop said looking skyward. He then turned to the woman and said with a slight smirk, ¡°..or ourselves.¡±

    The woman rose as she looked at the bishop in awe.

    ¡°THE LORD guided our decision to chose you as our leader, Your Excellency,¡± she said in a reverential tone as she bowed and kissed his hand. ¡°I shall inform the flock.¡±

    ¡°We have much to do and no time in which to do it,¡± the bishop said with a final stretch.

    He then spread his arms wide.

    ¡°Let us begin¡­ DEUS VULT!¡± he shouted.

    ¡°<strong>DEUS VULT!</strong>¡± the woman exulted with fire in her eyes.

    ***

    Jessica Morgan sat in a concrete bunker somewhere on that same¡¯s surface and addressed a row of faces disyed on some old two-dimensional monitors.

    ¡°¡­ <em>Fine</em>...¡± She sighed as she took a veryrge gulp from a veryrge wine ss. ¡°I¡¯ll do it. I don¡¯t know why you want me to, but I¡¯ll do it. <em>I lostst time!</em> You remember that, right? <em>I lost!</em>¡±

    The assembled faces all looked quite pleased¡­ and relieved. They all just sat there silently looking at her expectantly.

    ¡°¡­ Goddammit...¡± she muttered.

    She took another drink. Why? Why her? <em>And why did I agree?</em> she asked herself as she sipped away.

    She wasn¡¯t the same person she was all those years ago. She didn¡¯t want this. Sure, there was a time where she wanted to rule a sr system. There was even a time when the thought of waging a war against something like the Feds would get her absolutely <em>sopping</em>, but not now. Now all she wanted to do was drink, smoke weed, do some blow, wander through her gardens (that she would never see again), and count her money... Maybe y some petty political power games when she got bored...

    She was <em>tired</em>. She was old. She waspletely and totally <em>done</em> with this shit and it hadn''t even started yet.

    <em>I could have said no. I should have said no. I MEANT to say no! I WAS GOING TO SAY NO!!!</em>

    <em>I should be loading up my ships with goodies and liquidating my assets getting ready to head over to my little hidey-hole in the Empire...</em>

    <em>I shouldn¡¯t be doing this!</em>

    <em>Fuck...</em>

    She sipped as she pondered the situation. And all of those assholes were just sitting there¡­ looking at her¡­ waiting...

    ¡°This time things will have to be different,¡± she said after a little while. ¡°We can¡¯t have <em>an army</em>. We can¡¯t have <em>a fleet</em>. We just need good lines ofmunication between the individual <em>independent</em> groups, good distribution of intelligence, and some decent coordination so we don¡¯t trip over ourselves. I will provide coordination, intelligence, and guidance. As before my organization will also offer tactical and strategic nning services as requested. I may even be able to provide <em>limited</em> logistical support.¡±

    She paused as she took another healthy drink.

    ¡°I should not, and will not, lead you assholes as a single military force this time,¡± she said, ¡°This is a time for <em>raiders</em>. This is a day for <em>tribes</em>. You need to gather <em>your</em> people and take care of <em>your</em> people. This isn¡¯t about winning or losing. This isn¡¯t about conquest. This isn¡¯t about defeating the Federation. We aren¡¯t going to do that. We <em>can¡¯t</em> do that. This is about <em>survival</em>, pure and simple. If at the end of the day we are breathing then that is our ¡®victory¡¯. The next day we fight the same ¡®war¡¯. Then we do it the next¡­. And the next¡­ and the¡­ you get the fucking idea.¡±

    ¡°And how should we-¡±

    ¡°I have no fucking clue,¡± she grumbled. ¡°I¡¯ll figure it out. For now scrape up every credit you can and buy yourself whatever toys you need.¡±

    She took a deep breath, buried her face in her free hand and sighed.

    ¡°If anyone is short on creds I am prepared to issue a <em>loan</em>,¡± she grumbled. ¡°Ask if you need one but remember,¡±

    ¡°The Devil always gets her due,¡± the group said in unison.

    ¡°That¡¯s right! She fucking does!¡± Jessica snarled. ¡°But don¡¯t doom yourself because you are short. You can¡¯t regret your debts, and more importantly to me pay them, if you are fucking dead.¡±

    Everyone chuckled.

    ¡°There is one thing I am certain of,¡± Jessica said after a moment. ¡°There is one hard and fast order I am making right fucking now. Listen close! <strong>Do not under any circumstances go after any Republic or Imperial targets!</strong> I¡¯m fucking serious. Don¡¯t do it. We are, through some fucking <em>miracle</em>, getting our hands on arms and supplies from them through some backdoor deals. We fuck up <em>one time</em> and that is gone! I still have my brass bull. I <em>will</em> use it! I hate the fuckers just as bad as you do but now is NOT the time. Let¡¯s keep this a one front war.¡±

    ¡°What about the non-affiliated?¡± one crone asked.

    ¡°I feel for them, I do,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°But right now we gotta take care of ourselves. We are no good to them dead or captured. I bet most of you can¡¯t even properly take care of your own men and their bloated families.¡±

    There were mutterings of assent.

    ¡°Let¡¯s brainstorm,¡± Jessica said as she took another drink. ¡°I open up the floor. What are we going to do about the civvies?¡±

    Everyone just looked at her nkly.

    ¡°I¡¯d said I¡¯d do this but I never said I would do it all by myself!¡± Jessica snapped. ¡°Ideas! Now! What can we do?¡±

    Jessica refilled her ss as people started to talk. Then she started to take notes.

    <em>Maybe if I had done this more often I wouldn¡¯t have lostst time,</em> she mused as she took another sip.

    ***

    Drifting silently through that same system a small craft invisibly orbited above the.

    Inside a young demi-queen stared intently at a disy.

    ¡°Neat!¡± she buzzed happily.

    The drone piloting the spy craft nced over at her.

    ¡°Got something?¡± he quietly asked.

    ¡°Yes!¡­ Maybe¡­ No!¡­ Definitely something!,¡± she replied. ¡°Strange signals¡­ Electromaic... Not Federation¡­ <em>Alien</em>...¡±

    ¡°Alien?¡± the drone asked in rm.

    ¡°Yes,¡± the queen grinned. ¡°<em>Very</em> strange. At first I thought it was just ¡®noise¡¯ from their messy electronics. That¡¯s what theputer still thinks it is. Now I¡¯m pretty sure it¡¯s a transmission¡­ maybe¡­ No!... Definitely! It¡¯s definitely amunications signal!¡­ I think...¡±

    She trailed off as she fiddled with her instruments.

    ¡°Is it the humans?¡± the drone asked. ¡°What are they saying?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s probably the humans and I have absolutely no idea!¡± she buzzed happily perfuming the cabin with joy. ¡°I can¡¯t decrypt it! I have no idea what they are up to but I bet it¡¯s gonna be fun! That Morgan person said that it would only be a few days! <em>I can¡¯t wait!</em>¡±

    ¡°We should pull back soon,¡± the drone said after a few moments. ¡°Those cruisers¡¯ sensors are based on the shoddy technology of the ursed Kalent but still, this is far too much risk. It would be quite inconvenient and even worse embarrassing in the extreme were we to be discovered.¡±

    ¡°In a minute,¡± the demi replied. ¡°These signals are stupidly weak and are almost entirely confined to the atmosphere! They are somehow making them ¡®bounce¡¯ back to the! I¡¯m hardly getting anything as it is!¡±

    ¡°Is that even possible?¡±

    ¡°Aparently!¡± the demi clicked excitedly. ¡°There¡¯s <em>no way</em> those Feds have any idea they¡¯re doing this! They have somehow developed apletely new form ofmunication! Humans are <em>so cool!</em>¡±

    The cabin filled with the scent of persuasion.

    ¡°No.¡± the drone said firmly. ¡°We are NOT entering the atmosphere! As far as the rest of the Federation knows we have no interest in these events. If we get nabbed by a cruiser it will make deniability difficult in the future, and I do NOT want to wind up in the nest trying to exin to her nibbles how we showed up on those ships¡¯ logs.¡±

    ¡°Pleeeease...¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± the drone replied crossing his arms. ¡°and you have either molted too much or not nearly enough to pull off that ¡®pleeeeease¡¯ so just drop it.¡±

    The demi buzzed their equivalent of a razzberry.

    ¡°Well you¡¯re no fun at all,¡± sheughed.

 Chapter Jessica Proposes a Toast

    Chapter Jessica Proposes a Toast

    Jessica Morgan strolled through her beloved gardens. She paused at each carefully ced nt, each statue, each fountain, burning them into her memory.

    She hadn¡¯t expected toe here again and she definitely was not going to squander the opportunity.

    She sought out a simple wooden bench in a less tended corner, her favorite spot in the entire gxy.

    It was quiet. It was serene. It was absolutely beautiful.

    It was also the <em>only</em> ce in the entire estate that wasn¡¯t monitored. No camera watched. No sensor swept¡­ or sniffed.

    It was <em>her</em> spot.

    She sat there looking at the flowers and the trees. She looked around carefully. Satisfied that she was truly alone, she took a deep breath¡­

    Then, she buried her face in her hands¡­

    and wept.

    ***

    It was a few hourster when her phone quietly rang.

    ¡°Yes,¡± a perfectlyposed Jessica Morgan replied.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± Terrence replied. ¡°Everything is prepared and your guests have arrived.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Terrence,¡± she said seemingly without a care in the world. ¡°Go ahead and serve the appetizers. I shall be there directly.¡±

    She calmly walked through the gardens, through the mansion, and into the great hall.

    Inside there was a long table. Sitting at it were her three children, her nine remaining grandchildren, and seventeen of her great-grandchildren, all of the ones over sixteen.

    They all rose to meet her.

    ¡°Thank you foring on such short notice,¡± she said as she walked to the head of the table with a smile.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like we had a choice,¡± her eldest sonughed.

    ¡°No, you most certainly did not,¡± Jessica chuckled as she took her seat.

    Everyone sat in unison.

    Terrence walked in with a holo-camera followed by one servant for each guest. In unison the servants ced a single champagne flute in front of each member of her family.

    Shortly thereafter servants stepped forward with the finest champagne and filled each ss in turn.

    One of her grandchildren, a blonde in herte thirties, reached for the champagne.

    ¡°Not yet, Selene,¡± Jessica chided. ¡°We are about to have a toast.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, grandmother,¡± Selene replied slightly embarrassed.

    Jessica rose and lifted her ss. Everyone else rose and did the same.

    ¡°My beloved family,¡± she said with a wistful smile, ¡°Many years ago the Yellowstone Supervolcano unleashed fire and death andid waste to an entire civilization. Everything that once was our entire universe ended that day. Out of all of that fire, and death, and devastation something happened. Out in the cold dark a people arose, as cold and unforgiving as the vacuum that surrounded them. A people strong enough to survive, a people hard enough to endure...¡±

    She paused looking at each of them.

    ¡°Out of those people leaders arose and built tribes,munities, all dedicated to that most sacred, most pure, most¡­ <em>human</em>¡­ of all things¡­ <em>Survival.</em>¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°Hard choices, difficult decisions¡­ sacrifices¡­ had to be made. They were painful, sometimes abhorrent, sometimes absolutely <em>inhuman</em>¡­ But all of this¡­ ugliness¡­ was done for the purest of reasons, to live another day, <em>just one more day</em>, to hold back the night just a little longer...¡±

    She held her ss to the light, admiring the y of light as it danced through the amber liquid and wless crystal.

    ¡°Also out there was¡­ myself and my men. We had the same goal but we also had something else. A shared vision of a future beyond the horror¡­ beyond the death¡­ And so we started to gather the tribes together, feeding them, arming them, training them¡­ taking the finest of humanity, forged by the fires of hell itself and making them something even better, something even stronger¡­ the beginnings of a nation, a nation of survivors, a nation that would <em>endure</em>.¡±

    She, with a strange light in her eyes looked at her family.

    ¡°That loose tumble of tribes became forged into a true confederacy of the strongest, of the toughest, of the most unyielding¡­ a confederacy of true leaders¡­ all sharing a dream of a new day, a new Sol...¡±

    She sighed softly.

    ¡°Sadly, that dream remained just that, a dream. It wasn¡¯ t to be. Sometimes no matter how badly you want something to happen, or want something <em>not</em> to happen, the cold hard realities of the situation dictate otherwise.¡±

    ¡°While that dream faded¡­ and that confederacy had to adapt¡­ change¡­ evolve¡­ It still remained. Those leaders still led their people and together they forged a new future and a new life for their ns. It was here, in the Federation where we carved out our ce and it was here that we built our future. It was here that our vision, perhaps different than it once was, was finally realized.¡±

    She paused and closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. A momentter she rxed, opening her eyes again.

    ¡°And now, we face a new threat. Not born of fire, but of something even more dangerous, the hatred of our fellow man. A gue, a biological weapon unleashed by an old foe, ravages our people, threatening our very lives, our very <em>survival</em>. Our Federation, which we have unflinchingly supported, has turned upon us choosing to not only stand idly by while we die but actively seek to hasten our demise.¡±

    ¡°The Federation wants us dead. Theyugh at our brothers and our sisters starting to wither and rot while they still breathe. They simply lock them, and anyone else they seem to see fit, away to (heh) ¡®let this whole thing run it¡¯s course¡¯ knowing full well that it <em>will</em> likely im most of our lives.¡±

    ¡°In fact, they seem to relish the idea. They say they are better off without us.¡±

    She smiled a grim smile.

    ¡°Unfortunately they forgot, or perhaps never really knew, that the confederacy that was forged all those years ago still exists. Many of those leaders still walk. Those who have fallen have passed the reins to their children, many of whom were born in those days of fire, ice, vacuum, starvation, and death. While our ambitions and our wealth grew and our goals evolved, what they were built upon remained steadfast. That foundation? Well, it¡¯s the single purest, most perfect, of all human values...¡±

    ¡°<em>Survival.</em>¡±

    ¡°The Confederacy of Sol has survived. The Confederacy of Sol will survive, no matter what we must do, no matter what we must <em>sacrifice</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°We <em>will</em> survive.¡±

    She raised her ss.

    ¡°My dear family, who I truly love, please raise your sses.¡±

    ¡°<em>To the Confederacy of Sol!</em>¡±

    ¡°To the Confederacy,¡± her family said in unison and drank.

    ¡°You know,¡± Jessica said after a moment. ¡°Leadership can be hard. It can be the toughest thing you ever do. The decisions that you must make can sometimes be¡­ <em>God</em>¡­ It can be really hard. For example, I just held a conference with those very leaders to which we raised a ss. We discussed many things¡­ One of them was amon problem we all shared. As we discussed a very serious dilemma the solution became clear. It was <em>crystal clear</em> what must happen. It wasn¡¯t a pleasant realization. It was to be perfectly honest about it was perhaps one of the most difficult calls I¡¯ve ever had to make. But¡­ it is a decision that was <em>clear</em>¡­ Is clear... and amand that <em>had</em> to be made¡­¡±

    She looked at everyone and smiled sadly.

    ¡°So I made that decision, thatmand. And once again I must lead and to lead effectively you must lead by <em>example</em>,¡± she said as Terrence calmly filmed the group.

    Her smile turned grim and her eyes turned cold.

    ¡°Our family faces a challenge, a challenge that we must rise to meet,¡± she said calmly. ¡°A challenge that more than one of you has already failed. Some of you have abused the trust that the organization has ced in you and embezzled millions of credits,¡± she said looking at her eldest who shifted ufortably. ¡°Others,¡± she said looking at Selene, ¡°betrayed the organization by giving damaging testimony in order to try to gain immunity from what was in all honesty a minor criminal charge that would have resulted in, what, a few years of confinement in conditions that many of your fellow man would sell their soul to enjoy? If you cannot hold firm against that how can you hold firm in the days ahead?¡±

    Selene flinched and looked away.

    ¡°Others havemitted simr transgressions thinking that they went unnoticed,¡± Jessica said with ice in her voice. ¡°and have already failed.¡±

    Her eldest son swayed and gripped the table for support. He looked up, his eyes starting to ze over. Selene stumbled, falling to her knees as others started to behave simrly.

    ¡°Yet more of you have, time and time again, have shirked even the slightest shred of responsibility not only for your actions but for your very existence and have absolutely nothing to show for a life filled with advantages that others can only dream of besides corruption and vice. I believe the correct term for your debased state is ¡®affluenza¡¯. You have absolutely nothing to offer¡­ and you never will.¡±

    She paused as the room filled with the sound of bodies falling to the floor and the shouts of confusion and rm from the untouched.

    As a horrified silence settled over the room she turned to the survivors.

    ¡°This is my fault...¡± Jessica said as silence fell. ¡°our faults¡­ I and the other leaders of the organization and of the various members of the Confederacy allowed ourselves to sumb to the dream that this day would nevere. We allowed weakness and corruption into our houses. Today, we must correct that terrible mistake. The fate of our organizations, our confederacy, and thus the fate of all humanity in the Federation demands it.¡±

    ¡°We face a hard, grim future and we must do so free from weakness,¡± she said calmly, ¡°Thieves, traitors, the stupid¡­ <em>the weak</em>¡­ have no ce in that future. There is no room for the dishonest or disloyal on our ships. There is no oxygen to spare for the useless. The is no food to waste on those who cannot contribute. You are not immune to this new reality. In fact, you are now held to a higher standard. We must lead by example. We cannot be the weak link or we doom all who rely upon us. That I <em>cannot</em> allow. For every pleasure, for every privilege there is a price. Today, the bill hase due and the price is duty, duty to this organization, a duty to this confederacy, and most importantly, a duty to the very survival of our people.¡±

    She nced at her fallen son.

    ¡°Some were unable to meet their obligations and are no longer with us.¡±

    She then looked up at the people still standing. Some of them pale with shock and horror, others like her daughter actually smiling back at her, eyes gleaming.

    ¡°To those of you who remain...¡± she said with a cold even voice.

    ¡°<em>Wee to the future</em>.¡±

 Chapter Radio Sunshine and The Devil on the Throne

    Chapter Radio Sunshine and The Devil on the Throne

    ¡®Lissa Kay walked into the studio, quite disturbed. On the drive to work she saw symbols¡­ disturbing symbols¡­ disyed openly. On banners, stenciled on vehicles, even painted on people¡¯s faces were eagles, lions, swords, old gs, <em>raider sigils</em>¡­ things that should <em>never</em> be shown openly.

    It was obscene¡­

    and <em>terrifying</em>¡­

    Her boss, Be-Gel-Kara, smiled as she logged into her terminal.

    ¡°Good afternoon, ¡®Lissa,¡± he said his crest inting in a friendly manner. ¡°Quite the week, huh,¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± she said quietly.

    ¡°I am d to see you are still well,¡± he said still trying to engage her in conversation.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been keeping to myself as best as I can,¡± she replied.

    ¡°Smart¡­ Quite wise...¡± he said and paused. ¡°Err... ¡®Lissa, My family has ake house in a fairly remote area. We were thinking about setting it up with a makeshift studio¡­ you know¡­ for some of our human employees¡­ You could go out there if you wanted¡­ ¡®Till things get better...¡±

    ¡°That would be great, thanks,¡± she replied with a distant voice as she looked at thetest news. It was getting bad and <em>fast</em>.

    Be-Gel-Kara was a little nonplussed. He expected a bit more enthusiasm over his offer.

    ¡°Great!¡± he said with a little forced cheerfulness. As soon as you can grab some things and get scanned let me know.

    ¡°Cool...¡± ¡®Lissa said after a few seconds. ¡°Um, Gel,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Maybe your and your family should get over there as well.¡±

    ¡°We couldn¡¯t,¡± he replied. ¡°We need all the space for the humans. We would be taking up-¡±

    ¡°Then get them out of this city, away from the humans.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s getting¡­ ugly¡­ out there, Gel. You need to get your wife and kids out now.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure the police and the Federation emergency response teams should be able to keep us safe,¡± Be-Gel-Kara said confidently.

    ¡°I¡¯m not kidding, Gel. Get them out.¡±

    ¡°Ok, ok,¡± he replied. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it,¡± he said his crest deting. She wasn¡¯t the first to mention something like that. Maybe he should. ¡°Have a good broadcast.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ thanks,¡± ¡®Lissa said absently as she read a report of a bombing of a Federation Response Team HQ.

    ***

    (Musical intro ys as the station¡¯s logo is disyed)

    ¡®Lissa appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Good afternoon Zaran-7! It¡¯s ¡®Lissa Kay here on Sunshine Radio, your favorite source of music, videos, news, weather, and sports! I know it¡¯s getting a bit¡­ rough¡­ out there but¡­ happy thoughts, people! Things are gonna get better!¡±

    She smiled up at the camera.

    ¡°Ok, let¡¯s open up the phones and take some requests!¡±

    She pressed an icon on her touchscreen.

    ¡°Hello! It¡¯s ¡®Lissa! What can I y for you today?¡±

    ¡°Hi, ¡®Lissa! Love ya!¡± a human male¡¯s voice responded.

    ¡°And I love you too!¡± she responded brightly. ¡°What happy thoughts can we serve up for you today?¡±

    ¡°Could you y ¡®Fire and Blood¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡± I don¡¯t think we have that one¡­ nope! Don¡¯t have it! Bye!¡±

    She quickly disconnected.

    ¡°Hello! ¡®Lissa here! What happy thoughts can I send your way?¡±

    ¡°How about ¡®From the Heavens we Fall¡¯?¡± a cheerful woman asked.

    ¡°Eeeeh,¡± ¡®Lissa replied. ¡°Don¡¯t have that one either, sorry!¡± she said with forced cheer as damn hear punched the disconnect icon.

    ¡°Hello! Sunshine Radio, your favorite source of <em>happy thoughts</em>,¡± she said gritting her teeth.

    ¡°Oh I am a huge fan, ¡®Lissa!¡± a young man enthused.

    ¡°And I¡¯m a fan of you too!¡± ¡®Lissa said making one of her trademark ¡°cute faces¡± at the camera. ¡°What can I getcha?¡±

    ¡°Me and the boys would just love to hear ¡®Skin and Bones¡¯!¡±

    ¡°Dude!¡± ¡®Lissa said in a less than cute voice and hung up. ¡°Guys,e on,¡± she implored. ¡°Let¡¯s try to keep it upbeat! We do happy thoughts here¡­ <em>Happy thoughts!</em>¡­ please!¡±

    An icon shed on her screen.

    ¡°Oh! We have a video call!¡± She said as she pressed another icon.

    A pretty blonde teen girl, a ssic cheerleader type, appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Wooooo!¡± she yelled. ¡°Hey guys! I got through!¡± she eximed as she turned what was probably her phone towards the room filled with teenage girls, all holding big stic cups.

    ¡°Hi ¡®Lissa!¡± they all yelled, ¡°Wooooo!¡±

    ¡°Wooo back!¡± ¡®Lissa eximed. ¡°You guys aren¡¯t breaking istion are you?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re celebrating!!!¡± the cheerleader eximed, ¡°Woooooo!¡±

    ¡°Well it¡¯s great that you have something to celebrate these days!¡± ¡®Lissa replied with a smile. <em>Finally</em>, she thought to herself, <em>just some drunk teenagers!</em>

    ¡°(bleep) yeah we do! Wooooo! (bleep) yeah!¡± the cheerleader screamed.

    ¡°Ha ha,¡± ¡®Lissaughed, ¡°Let¡¯s watch thatnguage,¡± she fake chided. ¡°So what are we celebrating?¡±

    ¡°The best (bleeping) news!¡± the cheerleader screeched.

    ¡°Hey, the nerds want more pizza!¡± another athletic girl shouted as she walked in, her shirt stained with splotches where she probably spilled her drink.

    ¡°Then get more (bleeping) pizza! Get them <em>whatever they want</em>! Gah!¡± the cheerleader yelled. ¡°Card¡¯s on the table!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll get them the pizza,¡± the other girl yelled, ¡°You do ¡®whatever they want¡¯ yourself, skank!¡±

    ¡®Lissa couldn¡¯t help butugh.

    ¡°You girls getting some poor guys to do your assignments for you?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the cheerleaderughed wickedly, her eyes shing with an ugly light, ¡°Something like that...¡±

    ¡°Poor guys,¡± ¡®Lissa chuckled. ¡°So what is the party for?¡±

    ¡°The (bleeping) Devil is on her golden throne!¡± the cheerleader shouted at the top of her lungs. ¡°Woooooo!¡± she yelled as she took a big drink from her cup. Something red spilled out and started to stain her shirt.

    ¡®Lissa¡¯s blood ran cold.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You (bleeping) heard me! <em>The Devil is on her throne!</em> This party is about to get (bleeping) started! Wooooooooo!¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± ¡®Lissaughed nervously. ¡°I really doubt that¡¯s the case and you little girls shouldn¡¯t talk about things you don¡¯ t understand!¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, (bleep)?¡± the cheerleaderughed as she yanked up her top revealing a very fresh, still bloody tattoo. Her lean belly was covered with a downward pointing sword with angel wings on either side going down through an eight pointed star of chaos with a skull entwined with roses in the middle.

    <em>The ck Angels!!!!!</em> ¡®Lissa¡¯s heart froze as she stabbed the disconnect icon so hard it hurt her finger. She looked up at the camera with terrified eyes and iled at ¡°y random¡± on the music video queue.

    She put her face in her hands. There were certain symbols, certain glyphs, certain tattoos that will get you killed, even today. The sword of the ck Angels was one of them! The <em>only</em> people who could wear that and live were full members!

    <em>And the only way you can be a full member was¡­ Oh God!</em> ¡®Lissa realized in horror, <em>What was in that cup?</em>

    ¡®Lissa took a deep shuddering breath.

    <em>Was she saying the truth? Was ¡°The Devil¡± actually back? If Jessica Morgan¡­ Oh no!</em> ¡®Lissa thought filled with fear. <em>If that was true then it¡¯s over!¡­ It¡¯s fucking over!!!</em>

    ***

    Gwendolyn Shay grinned as the screen went dead and flipped her hair. She selected a name on her phone.

    ¡°Hey Gram-gram,¡± sheughed. ¡°Yeah, I sent the message. It was all over Sunshine Radio! You shoulda seen her fucking face!¡± Gwenughed. ¡°See you soon. Love ya! Bye!¡±

    As soon as the call ended Gwen looked at the room.

    ¡°Alright, bitches!¡± she shouted. ¡°Time to scoot! Grab the nerds and load up the vans! We need to get gone before the cops show! Wooooo! Gooooooo¡­ Angels!¡±

    ¡°Woooooo!¡± everyone yelled as the jumped to their feet.

    As she walked towards the garage Gwen nced over at the two butchered xenosying in the hallway and smiled. She walked over and ripped out some feathers.

    Who knew they would be so tasty.

    This was going to be so much <em>fun</em>!!!

    ***

    ¡®Lissa was still sitting with her face in her hands when her boss stormed in.

    ¡°What in zes is going on?¡± he demanded. ¡°The phones are going crazy and all you are doing is just ying videos! This is a personality based segment and there is no personality!¡±

    ¡°Gel...¡± ¡®Lissa said quietly. ¡°Get your family out of the city <em>now.</em>¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s going on, ¡®Lissa?¡±

    ¡°The Devil is on her throne, Gel. It¡¯s over.¡±

    ¡°I heard that!¡± he eximed. ¡°That little girl said that and then you just lost your¡­ ¡®stuff¡¯. What does it mean?¡±

    ¡°It means,¡± ¡®Lissa replied. ¡°that Jessica Morgan has assumedmand of the great houses. It means the Sol Wars, Gel, that¡¯s what it means.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious,¡± he replied. ¡°Just because some kid-¡±

    ¡°She bore the mark of the ck Angels!¡±

    ¡°So? Some kid buys a stick-on from some mall-¡±

    ¡°No, Gel. They will kill you if you wear their mark without earning it and to earn it¡­¡± ¡®Lissa said grimly, ¡°it means that out there someone is dead, Gel. You only get the wings after your first raid, your first¡­ (urp) <em>meal</em>...¡±

    ¡°Creators!¡± he gasped. ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll call the police...¡± he said. ¡°And then¡­ and then I¡¯ll call my wife!¡±

    ¡®Lissa just nodded and put her head back into her hands.

    ***

    (Musical intro ys as the station¡¯s logo is disyed.)

    A handsome pol-ka appeared.

    ¡°Good afternoon!¡± he said brightly. ¡°¡¯Lissa is feeling a bit under the weather so you guys are stuck with me! Hel-Meesh-Loa here making your afternoon filled with just a little more sunshine! It seems that we are having a little problem with the phones at the moment so just sit back, rx, and enjoy the best music and videos of today and yesteryear!...¡±

    ***

    Jessica Morgan watched the news feeds with a little smirk. The Zaran system was having a fit! Images of a ughtered Kreenel couple (pixted of course) were all over the feeds along with reports that parts of them had been cooked and eaten in their own kitchen.

    She chuckled. Leave it to the ck Angels to make an impression. She looked at an image of Gwen Shay and grinned. She was perfect! Just the cutest little thing and then the surprise reveal of the mark¡­ and the carnage¡­ Just perfect!

    She smiled nostalgically. It was also like looking back in time. Damned if she wasn¡¯t the spitting image of her namesake, the original Gwen Shay¡­

    She wondered if she was going to get her incisors reced with titanium fangs as well. Probably. The Angels liked shit like that. They were animals, but very very useful ones, among the best shock-troops she had and unquestionably the masters of terror.

    One of the monitors switched to an official looking pol-ka. She switched audio over to that channel. It was a Federation stuffed shirt loudly proiming that enough was enough and that they were dering martialw not only on Zaran-7 but here in the Raylesh system and all other human enves.

    She smiled.

    <em>Perfect</em>!

    She pulled up a map and nodded. Sasha¡¯s weapons were being distributed very efficiently. Missile ships and transports loaded with (ugh) Terran AK¡¯s were already reaching both systems and all major human enves across the Federation as well as all designated transport vessels were reaching their destinations well ahead of schedule.

    She looked at her antique watch and frowned. It was still hours before her *one* ss of port. Sobriety was annoying. She called for another coffee. <em>Maybe just a little blow, just a bump?</em> She made an unhappy face. Generals don¡¯t snort lines off of their maps. It was just poor practice. She looked at her watch again. Ugh...

    She pulled up the strategic projections and smiled again. By the time that the expected Federation reinforcements arrived everything would be ready for them.

    The door opened to her war-room and two people walked in. Her grandson and one of her great-granddaughters walked in nervously.

    ¡°Sebastian, Be, hello!¡± she said brightly.

    ¡°Good afternoon, Grandmother,¡± Sebastian said hesitantly.

    ¡°I called you two here,¡± she said with a maternal smile, ¡° to answer the huge question in both of your minds, namely why you didn¡¯t get one of the special sses.¡±

    ¡°I was wondering,¡± Sebastian said with a gulp. Be just nodded with big eyes.

    ¡°As I saidst night,¡± she smiled. ¡°There is no ce for the useless. Neither of you are in that category.¡±

    ¡°But...¡± Sebastian stammered.

    ¡°While your chosen¡­ ''upations''¡­ if they can be called that, aren''t ones that I would have picked for you, nor ones that I have supported, you, both of you, have devoted yourselves and honed your craft and, more importantly, your minds and spirits. You both have something to offer.¡±

    ¡°We do?¡± Be asked a bit confused.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Jessica said with a smile. ¡°Both music," she said to Be with a smile, "and art," she said ncing at Sebastian, "are very useful."

    She stood and started to pace.

    ¡°War isn¡¯t fought with guns and ships. It is fought with the mind and the spirit and both of you have great minds and great spirits. Defying me to my face, as both of you have already know, isn''t for the weak.¡±

    She turned to look at both of them.

    ¡°Have you read your assigned reading?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± Be eximed nervously.

    ¡°Calm down, dear,¡± Jessica said with a warm smile. ¡°The culling was a one time thing. You passed. Rx.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±

    ¡°I am pleased that you are motivated though,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°You will read Sun Tzu every single day until you can recite each word by heart. Even after that you will spend at least an hour each day reading and pondering the significance of each single word as I still do. His wisdom is as every bit as relevant today as it ever was.¡± She looked at them both. ¡°You do this and you will see how both of you can be quite useful.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m just an artist, a painter, and not a very good one at that!¡± Sebastian protested.

    ¡°Don¡¯t sell yourself short,¡± Jessica said warmly. ¡°You might just be amazed what even a ¡®failed painter¡¯ can aplish under the right circumstances. Let me tell you both a little story...¡±

 Chapter The Critters Commentary

    Chapter The Critter''s Commentary

    The nest was ¡°abuzz¡± with activity. Queens were scurrying from one disy to the next taking notes and then moving along to the next one without pause.

    Lounging in the center of this activity was the Matriarch. To one unfamiliar with her it would appear that she was napping. In truth, she was meditating. Her mind was taking apart all the information she had consumed, and putting it back together again in countless different configurations.

    She had to agree with one of the youngest of her demi¡¯s. The humans were indeed ¡°so cool!¡±.

    One of the queens approached and waited patiently. After a few moments the matriarch turned her head to idly regard her.

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Matriarch,¡± the queen said nodding respectfully. ¡°The report on the humans you requested has beenpleted. The author¡¯s notes, usually a waste of storage space, may be worth a read. If nothing else they are quite amusing. The professor was quite free with their opinion.¡±

    ¡°Ah, Professor Kvazz! That grumpy old drone is always good for a chuckle or two!¡± the matriarch replied as she took the data tablet that was offered. ¡°Hmm,¡± she said as she scrolled through it. ¡°This exins the dy.¡±

    ¡°Yes, matriarch,¡± the queen replied. ¡°He was quite¡­ thorough...¡±

    ¡°Well I suppose I should show respect for his diligence and read it in its entirety,¡± the matriarch replied exuding rueful amusement. ¡°I should have known what I was asking when I told them, ¡®give me everything¡¯¡­ Have you read it?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ skimmed it...¡± the queen replied. ¡°It¡¯s quite the tome.¡±

    ¡°And your opinions?¡±

    ¡°I find the humans quite intriguing although I now have more questions than I did before,¡± the queen replied. ¡°How they have managed to survive and produce any civilization or technology is astounding. It¡¯s almost as if they exist solely out of spite and stubbornness.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps we have found a kindred spirit then,¡± the matriarchughed as she signaled gratitude and a cessation of conversation, turning to the tablet.

    The queen nodded respectfully and returned to her duties.

    An hourter Axr/Kal/Breen/Mortshana stood in front of the matriarch, vibrating.

    The matriarch sighed and set down the tablet.

    ¡°Before you actually shake something loose, what is it?¡±

    ¡°I have thetest news and signal intercepts from the Federation concerning the humans.¡±

    ¡°Oh? Anything of note?¡±

    ¡°Much has transpired!¡± Mortshana eximed ¡°There was an incident on Zaran-7! A human cooked and ate a Kreenel! Not only that but the¡­ I think it¡¯s like one of their demi¡¯s, maybe even just a moltling¡­ called a local media program and announced that Jessica Morgan had takenmand of their separate orders all of which had previously acted as their own mounds in preparation for waging war on the Federation!¡±

    ¡°Something we had considered as a very real possibility,¡± the matriarch said taking Morthshana¡¯s report.

    ¡°As a result martialw has been dered! It seems that Jessica Morgan was caughtpletely unprepared by the moltling¡¯s indiscretion as well! She is enraged! Intercepted transmissions have her literally screaming at the order responsible! She even demanded the execution of the moltling which the head of its order absolutely refused to do even threatening Morgan herself, directly challenging her matron!

    Jessica Morgan was caughtpletely unprepared and has had to scramble to secure herself since there is now an order for her arrest! Before having topletely cease operations while she finds a new safe location she issued hasty and contradictory orders that seem to have left the individual orders confused, rmed, at odds with each other, and questioning her leadership!¡±

    ¡°Mmm Hmm...¡± the matriarch said with an indulgent spray of affection. ¡°This Morgan, she¡¯s a full matriarch isn¡¯t she? Not just a matriarch but a high-matron, and she has been for over a century? Yes?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°And thesemunications we ¡®intercepted¡¯ were able to easy decrypt?¡±

    ¡°They were no match for our machines, matriarch!¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± the matriarch smiled.

    ¡°And are you familiar with your impetuous fellow demi currently snatching these transmissions?¡±

    ¡°Yes! Gri is a good friend of mine, actually!¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯ve read her reports, all of them?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°Alright,¡± the matriarch smiled. ¡°This Morgan, she possesses an entirely uniquemunications technology and they have cyphers even we cannot defeat...¡±

    The matriarch paused looking at Morthshana meaningfully. Then she waited patiently.

    She sighed.

    ¡°So these particr humans have a secretmunications ability and are for some reason choosing to use easily intercepted ones. They have cyphers even we cannot crack...¡±

    ¡°And they are using easily defeated ones!¡± Mortshana eximed.

    ¡°And that means?¡±

    ¡°That these transmissions were intended to be intercepted! They are false!¡±

    The matriarch smiled.

    ¡°It¡¯s a trap!¡± Mortshana eximed excitedly.

    ¡°And one you would have just gone charging into, just like the Federation will.¡±

    Morthshana exuded embarrassment.

    ¡°We, the keepers of secrets and masters of tricks must not fall prey to them ourselves, my little demi. Consider this in the future.¡±

    ¡°Yes matriarch!¡± Morthshana said with a bow but she did not depart. She still stood there just shaking with excitement.

    ¡°Is there something else?¡±

    Mortshana exuded so much smug aplishment that the matriarch¡¯s antennae twitched.

    ¡°Just one additional, almost insignificant thing,¡± she said proudly producing another tablet. ¡°I was reading through some human texts and media and found a <em>very</em> intriguing statement. I did a media search and found¡­ this!¡± she eximed as she handed the tablet to the matriarch.

    The matriarch sprayed so much astonishment that every queen in the room paused and looked.

    ¡°This¡­ this is the <em>Homilies</em>!!!! This is the <em>Homilies of the War Maven</em>! Concept for fornicating concept!¡± the matriarch eximed as she scrolled through the pages.

    ¡°Your favorite book!¡± Mortshana eximed. ¡°And to answer your next question, no. There has been no known contact with the humans and this ''Sun Tzu'' (a drone if you can believe it!) predates any contact with the <em>others</em> by centuries!¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡± the matriarch stammered.

    Morthshana grinned. She had never seen the matriarch at a loss for words before.

    ¡°Well this exins much!¡± the matriarchughed. ¡°Thank you for this wonderful find!¡± she said as a blue liquid started to form in her jaws.

    Morthshana eagerly approached andpped the ichor from the matriarch¡¯s mandibles and then copsed into a spasming heap.

    ¡°When you recover,¡± the matriarchmanded. ¡°send a silk-spinner to the Raylesh system! Locate this Jessica Morgan if you can. The smart credits are on her departing the system after this trap is sprung. When she does I want to know <em>exactly</em> where she goes!¡±

    She leaned back into her lounge.

    ¡°<em>I wish to speak with her personally!</em>¡±

 Chapter Doing the Bunny Crunch and Service With a Smile.

    Chapter Doing the Bunny Crunch and Service With a Smile.

    An elderly woman wearing a respirator, a long ck polymer trench coat, and leather gloves and boots along with a personpletely obscured by a level IV hazmat suit approached the guards in front of Holbrooke Academy.

    ¡°Halt!¡± a Threen shouted.

    ¡°Hello there!¡± the old woman said cheerfully. ¡°We¡¯re here to pick up Thomas and Elizabeth Glint.¡±

    ¡°This educational facility is quarantined! Nobody leaves!¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s ok,¡± the woman said, her eyes smiling. ¡°My friend here is a doctor and has a clinical scanner. He can clear them no problem!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not how it works, human! By order of the Federation Emergency Council this ce is quarantined until such time as it is cleared. Until released by theary Emergency Committee nobody leaves!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure they are very busy,¡± the woman said pleasantly. ¡°We can help! We have a clinical scanner and someone fully qualified in its use. We could clear the whole school if you want. We don¡¯t mind!¡±

    ¡°No. Leave the area!¡±

    ¡°Look, it¡¯s just two little humans. If they aren¡¯t contaminated then what¡¯s the harm?¡± she asked. ¡°Maybe we coulde to a little¡­ unofficial arrangement? You guys can¡¯t be getting paid that much, far less than you deserve. We are fully prepared to correct that injustice if you get my meaning.¡±

    ¡°Attempting to bribe a Federation officer is against thew. Are you trying to get detained?¡±

    ¡°Bribe? Oh you misunderstood me. I wasn¡¯t offering a bribe! Perish the thought,¡± the woman said in a pleasant voice. ¡°Last chance. You <em>really</em> want to hand over those kids,¡± she added in a less pleasant one.

    ¡°You humans are all alike,¡± the Threen sneered. ¡°Too good for Federation regtions¡­ and look where that¡¯s gotten you.¡±

    The Threen loomed over the small old woman in a threatening manner.

    ¡°Now leave before you get something else you havein¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Ok¡­ Calm down. We¡¯re going,¡± the woman smiled. ¡°We just wanted to try to talk things over with you guys first before we¡­ <em>escted</em> the situation.¡±

    ¡°Escte away, human. Cry to whoever you want. It won¡¯t change nothin¡¯!¡±

    The old woman just smiled and walked away. As she left the walkway to the school and started to walk up the street she activated the-link in her mask.

    ¡°They didn¡¯t go for it. Light ''em up.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Roger that,¡± Shawn Vance said from the inside of an armored grav-dozer. He picked up the mic of a radio set.

    ¡°All teams. We are a go. Repeat. We are a go. Activate the signal jammers. All teams, start on my mark. Three¡­ Two¡­ One¡­ Mark!¡±

    The dozer¡¯s massive thrusters engaged as it and two other vehicles started to move towards the school.

    Vance looked over at a young woman next to him. She was breathing heavily.

    ¡°First time?¡± he asked with a paternal smile.

    She just nodded.

    ¡°This is a good one to cut your teeth on,¡± he said as he looked at a screen in front of him. ¡°We have overwhelming force. Those bastards don¡¯t stand a chance. Just shoot anything that looks like it wants to shoot back and don¡¯t get shot yourself. Pretty simple.¡±

    She just nodded again and gave him a nervous smile as she gripped her gauss needler. Vance just chuckled and gave her a friendly punch on the shoulder.

    ¡°Just stick with me and you¡¯ll be fine,¡± he said with a littleugh. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ve done this sort of thing before.¡±

    ***

    The guards looked at the construction vehicles curiously as they drove up.

    ¡°Is there any construction nned around here?¡± the leader of the group asked as the armored bulldozer and two armored grav-vans glided to a stop.

    ¡°No,¡± another Threen replied looking at a tablet. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean that these pork-¡±

    He was cut short as a hellish stream of blinding white bolts spewed from the dozer. Three millimeter tungsten alloy needles elerated to beyond hypersonic speed ripped through the air with a deafening roar. The needles, white hot and jacketed by the sma created as they ated in the air tore through the guard¡¯s standard issue soft armor and once inside anything moist instantly shed to steam.

    The guards were literally blown apart from the inside.

    The grav-dozer easily knocked over the barriers leading to parking lot and all three vehicles rushed in.

    ***

    Vance, holding a European Union gauss heavy machine gun, kicked his way through the already shattered front doors. He nodded approvingly. Using the tungsten anti-personnel rounds was a good choice. The needles that missed what was left of the guards just disintegrated when they hit the doors, ripping them apart. There was very little over-pration.

    nked by his team he advanced into the hallway.

    There were shouts and scrambling from an office ahead. He could hear a non-human voice shouting into amunicator in vain.

    There was no helping for these Feds.

    Two Feds, holding ster rifles, tried to rush into the hall. With an expert flick of the barrel, the gauss machine gun, now set to less than fifteen percent power (so he could fire it from the hip without the recoil sending him flying) sent a stream of glowing orange streaks into them both.

    While the effect was less spectacr the result was the same.

    Vance swept into the office from which they came. Less than two secondster it was over. Everyone inside was dead.

    ¡°Security center is clear,¡± he said calmly into his mask. ¡°Teams two and three secure the kids. Team one, we are heading to the admin office.¡±

    ¡°Team two, roger,¡± an elderly woman¡¯s voice responded.

    ¡°Team three, roger,¡± a youthful male voice replied.

    Vance, machine gun at the ready, walked down the middle of the hallway. His finger instinctively sought a faintly glowing icon on the touch panel mounted on the side of the weapon. The weapon¡¯s powerful scanners switched on and a holographic array projected on the walls detailed images of the rooms behind them as he swept the muzzle back and forth.

    ¡°Woah!¡± the young woman said behind him.

    Vance just smiled and kept walking.

    ¡°Med-team,¡± he said as he continued his march, ¡°how are we looking?¡±

    ¡°Everything is clean so far,¡± a female¡¯s voice responded. ¡°No signs of the virus.¡±

    ¡°Thank God for that,¡± Vance replied as he reached the school¡¯s main office. He swept the wall with the machine gun. There were six people inside.

    It looked like they were hiding under desks.

    He booted the door open and rushed inside.

    ¡°<em>Everybody up and against the wall!</em>¡± Vance shouted, ¡°<strong>NOW!</strong>¡± People started getting to their feet.

    ¡°You too, Vulxeen!¡± he shouted at the xeno still cowering. ¡°These needles will go right through that desk, no problem!¡±

    The Vulxeen, wearing a Federation uniform, reluctantly got to his feet.

    ¡°Please¡­¡± the Vulxeen stammered, his fleshy mouth parts quivering. ¡°Please don¡¯t kill me!¡±

    ¡°Wasn''t nning on it,¡± Vance replied, ¡°but I am rather short on patience.¡±

    He red at the room.

    ¡°So what¡¯s the deal? Why aren¡¯t these kids getting scanned and released?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have a scanner,¡± a nicely dressed human female replied in a frightened voice.

    ¡°What? Then how are you testing them?¡±

    ¡°We are supposed to observe them and notify the Emergency Council if any develop symptoms.¡±

    ¡°By the time that happens they are already contagious!¡± Vance shouted. He turned to the Vulxeen. ¡°<em>This is your n?!?!</em> Just lock them up until they start dying and then let them?!?!? And <em>you</em>,¡± he shouted as he turned to the humans. ¡°You just went along with this?¡±

    ¡°The Federation...¡± one of the humans stammered.

    ¡°Fuck the Federation!¡± Vance yelled. ¡°Things are changing and fast. You little shits need to decide whose side you are on and you need to do it now! You-¡±

    <em>CrackCrackCrackCrackCrack</em>

    He was cut off by a burst from a gauss rifle. He rapidly turned to see the Vulxeen falling to the ground with a pistol in its hand.

    He nced back at the young woman behind him, gripping a gauss rifle in her shaking hands.

    She looked like she was about to throw up.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Vance said calmly and winced. He didn¡¯t see the gun when he swept the room. That could have cost him.

    ¡°As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted,¡± Vance said in a calm, pleasant voice. ¡°You need to decide if you are a Fed or a Human and you need to do it quick. ID. Now.¡± Vance said gesturing at one of the people.

    When they handed it over he put it in a police issue ID scanner and then flipped their ID onto the floor.

    ¡°I got your name. Now we are going to leave a scanner behind. You <em>will</em> use it to scan these kids and release them. If you do not then your name will go on a list.¡± He smiled malevolently. ¡°That list? It¡¯s going to the ns. You don¡¯t want to be on it.¡±

    He started to back out of the room.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he said calmly. ¡°Grab that pistol and those sters the guards had. They¡¯re better than those dime store needlers you are packing.¡±

    He activated his radio.

    ¡°Status,¡± he barked.

    ¡°Team two. We have Elizabeth. She¡¯s clean. We are heading to the vans.¡±

    ¡°Team three. Thomas is clean. We¡¯re pulling out.¡±

    ¡°Excellent work,¡± Vance replied. ¡°Team three, leave your scanner for these nice people.¡±

    ¡°Roger.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s get out of here. Team four cover us until we are clear. All teams meet at rendezvous point theta. Team one out.¡±

    There was a retching noise at his left. He turned to see the young woman tossing her cookies.

    ¡°It gets easier,¡± he said sadly.

    ***

    Jon¡¯s team was in the process of loading and securing their gear in the <em>Wayward Soles</em>. Jon looked over at Beth, one of the two man crew.

    If looks could kill the cargo bay would be a very messy ce.

    Jon walked over to her.

    ¡°Problem?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Oh no problem,¡± Beth spat. ¡°My ship is fucking infested with Terrans, that¡¯s all. No problem¡­ No fucking problem...¡±

    Scales walked over with a worried look in his four eyes.

    ¡°Um Beth, maybe you¡¯d like to maybe take a break on the bridge¡­ or in your quarters¡­ or...¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Jon replied. ¡°I think we need to have this out and over with.¡± He turned back to Beth. ¡°Are we going to have a problem?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she sneered. ¡°We are your happy little taxi drivers! We¡¯ll take you wherever, whenever. Whatever you assholes want we are <em>delighted</em> to oblige.¡±

    ¡°We are going to take good care of you,¡± Scales said firmly. ¡°Regardless of how we might feel about you, we will do exactly what is expected of us.¡±

    ¡°How ¡®we might feel about you¡¯?¡± Jon asked.

    ¡°I will be honest with you,¡± Scales replied. ¡°I hate you fuckers too. But, we owe the Cabal big time and this <em>one job</em> will make us square. We do this, no matter how distasteful we might think it is, and we are free of them for good¡­ or at least in a much better negotiating position if they should ever want our services in the future.¡±

    ¡°So you don¡¯t like us but you are following orders?¡±

    ¡°Pretty much,¡± Scales replied. ¡°We owe the Cabal a considerable amount of credits as a result of¡­ an unfortunate series of events that had us bothpletely without funds and in a very difficult position from a legal standpoint. The Cabal bailed us out, repaired and improved our ship, and made those legal issues disappear. As you can guess that wasn¡¯t for free.¡± Scales made an unpleasant expression. ¡°From time to time we are given ¡®an opportunity¡¯ to alleviate some portion of that debt. This one job will erase the remainder. We hold our noses, do right by you¡­ <em>people</em>¡­ and we are free and clear. That¡¯s enough inducement. That and abination of professional pride and a desire to not cross the Cabal guarantees your safety even if we both would be delighted to see you all perish.¡±

    ¡°I gotta check the engine room,¡± Beth snarled and stomped off.

    ¡°Since I guess we are going to be happiest keeping the chatting to a minimum,¡± Jon said with a smile, ¡°let¡¯s get this over with. What are your qualifications? I can guess that the Cabal didn¡¯t just send any freighter.¡±

    ¡°You would be correct, Mr. Wintersmith,¡± Scales smiled. ¡°Both Beth and myself are former Federation Navy, part of the Exploration and Navigation, division.¡±

    ¡°Special operations?¡±

    ¡°Yes, we primarily worked in observation and signal intercept, during our time in the Navy.¡±

    ¡°Trawlers?¡± Jon asked, rather impressed.

    ¡°Yes, I believe that is your quaint name for them.¡± Scales replied. ¡°We flew deep pration surveince and signal intercept missions. We are¡­ quite familiar with Republic space and know how to move through it without notice. You are in good hands with us whether we like it or not,¡± Scales smirked.

    ¡°How did two elite sailors wind up¡­ well, where you have?¡±

    ¡°The same reason that so many of your people are now in the same upation, the war,¡± Scales said. ¡°The whole thing was bullshit and the way we handled it¡­ and then to just roll over like we did¡­ ugh¡­ We were done. We could have crushed you. <em>We should have crushed you!</em>¡±

    ¡°Guess that¡¯s easier said than done, huh?¡± Jon replied with a smirk.

    ¡°Done?!? We didn¡¯t even fucking try!¡± Scales eximed. ¡°We had both the ability and thanks to you asshats clear justification to fucking ss your miserable asses! Did we? No!¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ but getting that ability in range and keeping it in range long enough would have <em>cost</em> you,¡± Jon smiled. ¡°It might have cost you more than you could pay.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, yeah...¡± Scales muttered, ¡°We already heard that. Trust me. We heard that plenty! Fucking Admirals scared of a real fight! That¡¯s all it was! They just sat there and masturbated to their AI¡¯s and sucked off the Council by sending ships to every fucking system with a little bit of pull instead of where we <em>should</em> have been sending them while you <em>assholes</em> were happily hitting anywhere they didn''t! Then instead ofmitting the resources to build the fleet we would need to do the job and could have built they just decided to roll over and quit! Fucking gutless! The lot of them! We just sat there like training hulks waiting for our turn to suck vacuum while they ate hundred credit lunches and bitched about the price of hull tes! Fuck them and fuck you too!¡±

    ¡°You do realize that one of the things we are trying to prevent is another war, right?¡± Jon replied.

    ¡°Oh <em>thank you for protecting us</em>!¡± Scales replied bowing low. ¡°Whatever would we do without you big strong Terrans looking out for us little puny little Feds.¡±

    ¡°Well you are most certainly wee,¡± Jon replied with a grin, ¡°and I think you know perfectly well what you fucking Feds would do without us on this one, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°¡­ I gotta check the scanners,¡± Scales spat. ¡°Just stay down here and out of our way.¡±

    With that Scales also stomped off.

    Skippyughed as she loped up.

    ¡°Could have found us bigger assholes?¡± Jon chuckled.

    ¡°We couldn¡¯t find anyone who could both do the job and kiss your ass,¡± sheughed as she put her arm around him and nuzzled his neck. ¡°They are assholes but they are the <em>best</em>. These guys cannd you right in front of the Republic Parliament if you ask them to. I¡¯m not kidding. They are <em>that</em> good.¡±

    She broke out into giggles.

    ¡°Oh, you should have seen the looks on their faces when we told them. It was fucking hrious! I thought the human was going to have an internal hemorrhage,¡± sheughed. ¡°I knew you humans could curse but damn, that little thing can outdo a Xvli!¡±

 Chapter The Rise of General Sebastian, Pissing on a Forest Fire, and a Tiger Changes its Stripes

    Chapter The Rise of General Sebastian, Pissing on a Forest Fire, and a Tiger Changes its Stripes

    Sebastian Morgan walked into an auditorium filled with humans of all races.

    ¡°Everybody settling in?¡± he asked, his voice amplified by the room¡¯s speakers, ¡°Pretty nice, huh?¡±

    The room was filled withughter.

    ¡°This cruise ship will be your new home for the foreseeable future,¡± he said. ¡°Here you will be safe, provided for, and very veryfortable. However, for every privilege there is a price. You my little songbirds, will have to sing for your supper.¡±

    He paused to let the (mostly) good natured groans to subside.

    ¡°We are at war,¡± he said in a serious tone. ¡°In war, battles are won by guns and ships. War, however,¡± he said a wicked smile, ¡°is won by breaking your opponent¡¯s will to fight! That, my friends, is where wee in. Those of us in media, in the arts, music¡­ even fashion and design¡­ we have a weapon every bit as powerful as a gun or a warship. We can <em>directly strike</em> our opponent¡¯s will while we protect and sustain the will of our own people!¡±

    He started to pace.

    ¡°THAT is our job! THAT is our mission! THAT is our duty to that most holy of all things, the <em>survival</em> of our people! Their ships and their guns will give our fellow man might. WE will give them <em>strength</em>!¡±

    He turned to face the crowd.

    ¡°When this disaster befell us I¡¯m sure many of you feltpletely powerless, as I did,¡± he said meekly. ¡°I asked myself, ¡®I¡¯m just an artist. What can I do? I¡¯m weak¡­ helpless... How can I do <em>anything</em>? They are killing each other in the streets. What am I going to do? What can someone as weak and powerless as myself possibly hope to aplish?¡¯¡±

    He pointed at the crowd.

    ¡°We are not weak! We are <strong>POWERFUL</strong>. We don¡¯t hold a rifle in your hands. We don¡¯t captain a warship. We are a <strong>FUCKING NUKE</strong> and together we will shake this Federation to it¡¯s <strong>very soul!</strong>¡±

    He smiled as the room filled with cheers. This felt¡­ right. This is what he was created for! This is what he was born to do!

    ¡°Propaganda is a dirty word to many,¡± he said. ¡°and maybe it should be. Propaganda kills. It¡¯s a weapon every bit as deadly as a sword, or a rifle¡­ or a nuke. It is, however, OUR weapon and we <em>will</em> wield it! We will cut at the very heart of our foe with our words, our songs, our videos¡­ even our pictures. Our words will give our people strength during the dark days ahead. Our words will determine the ¡®truth¡¯ and the ¡®history¡¯ of our fight. Our words will define <em>us</em>¡­ If we do our jobs right.¡±

    He pulled out a tablet.

    ¡°So let¡¯s roll up our sleeves and get started. We have no time to lose.¡±

    Sebastian tapped the tablet the Confederacy of Sol appeared behind him.

    ¡°This, as many of you already know,¡± he said, ¡°Is the g of the Confederacy of Sol. It represents the confederacy of great ns, lead by my grandmother, Jessica Morgan, during the final days of the Sol Wars. That same confederacy forms the backbone of the forces that stand with us today. However, it has been decided that this symbol and this name are no longer relevant. We no longer fight for Sol. We don¡¯t even care about it. We fight for our very survival!¡±

    He paused and then grinned.

    ¡°It is also felt that using this standard and this name and this image will imperil our continued weapons and supply shipments from the Republic and the Empire. It¡¯s a miracle that we are getting anything out of them but if we show up with this on our ships¡­¡±

    The room filled with chuckles.

    ¡°Exactly,¡± Sebastianughed. ¡°We need to rebrand ourselves¡­ and we need to do it fast! In just over twenty-four hours the hammer is going to fall. We will strike our first serious blow against the Federation. We <em>need</em> a new name and a new g <em>now</em>!¡±

    He looked across the sea of faces.

    ¡°You have all already been assigned this task,¡± he said. ¡°Team leaders, what have youe up with?¡±

    A man stood and cleared his throat.

    ¡°We at Raylesh Public Rtions LLC propose...¡± he said as an image of a sword iid with a double helix appeared, ¡°The Confederacy of <em>Man</em>!¡± he eximed proudly. ¡°It¡¯s direct. It¡¯s <em>visceral</em>...¡±

    ¡°And it¡¯s been done!¡± an anonymous voice shouted from the back. ¡°y with miniatures much?¡± the voice asked scornfully asughter broke out.

    ¡°Hey! Cut that out!¡± Sebastian chided. ¡°This is a creative space and we should provide a supportive and nurturing atmosphere. At the very least we need the basics of decorum¡­ But...¡± Sebastian winced, ¡°Yeah¡­ We can¡¯t use that. Next!¡±

    ¡°How about the Human Alliance!¡± A young woman piped up. ¡°Sorry, Multimedia team B here,¡± she said sheepishly. ¡°Nobody is using the term ¡®alliance¡¯ right now!¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Sebastian mused. ¡°Where is the g?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ we don¡¯t have one yet?¡± the woman cringed. ¡°We have it narrowed down to-¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± Sebastian said cutting her off. ¡°The name¡¯s interesting and you are right, nobody is using ¡®alliance¡¯.¡±

    The next group rose and presented their idea, and then the next... and the next¡­ Everybody from artists, to musicians to fashion designers all pitched their names and concepts.

    Sebastian dutifully took them all down as he frowned. Nothing was really doing it.

    Finally, Be stood up.

    ¡°Be?¡± Sebastian asked in surprise. ¡°Are you leading a team?¡±

    ¡°Not officially,¡± she said with a little embarrassment. ¡°But a few us us, my friends and I, were ying around with this and I think we have something.¡±

    ¡°Well go ahead,¡± he said somewhat indulgently. She was his niece after all. He would have to have a stern talk with her after this, though.

    ¡°Ok,¡± she said nervously, ignoring the res from her actual boss, ¡°We got to talking and we think this whole ¡®Man¡¯ and ¡®Humanity¡¯ thing might be too constraining. I mean, did you read about where that Terran hacker team hit? Those Kaarst? They are <em>assholes!</em> What they do to their people¡­ it¡¯s just <em>wrong</em>. Then there were the Z¡¯uush before that. Who else is out there? Who else has been screwed over, stepped on, ignored, <em>left to die</em>¡­ We need to think about expanding our subscribers! Right now it¡¯s just our party but maybe we want to invite the guys from the other dorm? That¡¯s when the party really starts rockin¡¯!¡±

    ¡°<em>Interesting!</em>¡± Sebastian eximed as mutters broke out in the auditorium.

    ¡°¡¯K!¡± she said breathlessly. ¡°So what do we all have inmon? We were shafted by the Feds¡­ <em>Forsaken</em> by them! We are the <em>Forsaken</em>!¡±

    The room broke out into excited murmurs.

    ¡°And where do we have to go?¡± she asked. ¡°Nowhere! We have nowhere to go!¡­ Except to our old home, our mother, lover, killer, and devourer¡­ The <em>Void</em>!¡± she eximed as a stylized hyperspace re on a ck background appeared. ¡°And what do we have to offer? <em>Chaos!</em>¡± an eight-rayed symbol of chaos appeared in the middle of the re, ¡°And destruction!¡± A sword appeared running down the middle of both. ¡°We will take on this gxy and <em>fucking carve</em> out a ce in it!¡­ And we will bring chaos and death upon those who stand against us, all of us!¡±

    She paused for breath.

    ¡°This could be the beginning of not just a new day for humanity but for others as well! More ships! More guns! More¡­ <em>Forsaken</em>¡­ We got to thinking¡­ This could be the start of something <em>huge</em>¡­ If we wanted it to be!¡±

    Sebastian just looked at her in shock.

    ¡°Well...¡± he said after a few moments. ¡°Your informal team? It¡¯s official now. If any of them aren¡¯t on this ship get them here right now!¡±

    ¡°We have a problem with the g,¡± someone called from the crowd. ¡°It looks too much like the ck Angels¡¯ emblem!¡±

    There was a chorus of assent.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Be said, ¡°We ditch the sword but we need something¡­ Ooo! What about the Eyes of Azathoth as the background! It ties into the whole Void and chaos theme and is part of our shared cultural heritage. It will be a nice religious kick that all ethnic groups should ept! We can add new eyes whenever another species signs up as a way to wee them, too!¡±

    ¡°Damn, girl,¡± her former boss muttered as the crowd broke out in an excited cacophony, everyone talking about what they just heard.

    Sebastian waited patiently as everyone settled down.

    ¡°I have everyone¡¯s submissions and will present them to The Devil immediately but I think we all know what we are going with. Thank you all for your time and I shall leave you to your individual projects. Void inspire you!¡±

    ***

    ¡°Yes, we did rmend containment over research,¡± Director Gvx-Taa, director of Federation Intelligence said to the council. ¡°And, yes, we did state that the loss of the entire human race in the Federation was an eptable loss, <em>should ite to that</em>,¡± he buzzed angrily. ¡°However,¡± he buzzed, spitting into his trusty bucket, ¡°at NO TIME did we ever say that the extinction of the humans was a ¡®plus¡¯. We NEVERughed about their plight. We also advocated CONTAINMENT, not whatever you want to call the joke of a response that was implemented. A response that was <em>demonstrably</em> intentional and meant to allow the maximum amount-¡±

    ¡°That is ridiculous and clearly an attempt to deflect me from where it should firmly lie!¡± Councilor Rexxidough, head of the Federation Health Council, shouted.

    ¡°Really?¡± Gvx-Taa asked, ¡°Shall I y the tapes again, the tapes that are ying on a loop at all hours across the <em>entire Federation</em>? Shall I y the tapes where we presented this grim option? Shall wepare them?¡± Gvx-Taa said with a sneering click. ¡°And to answer the nextid question, we did noty out the details of the medical response because <em>that isn¡¯t our job</em>. An appropriate response was your responsibility and the responsibility of the Federation Emergency Response Council. The only mistake wemitted was to make the naive assumption that you actually felt an obligation to <em>do your jobs!</em>¡±

    ¡°We are doing our jobs!¡± Councilor Rexxidough shouted.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Gvx-Taa sneered, ¡°Where are the scanners? Where are the medical personnel? Where is the research n for the development of a <em>vine</em>, something that even we <em>soulless killers</em> as you have called us advocated.¡±

    ¡°Those ns are in ce!¡± the councilor yelled.

    ¡°Yes, they are <em>now</em>,¡± Gvx-Taa replied. ¡°However, the vine initiative only was issued <em>after</em> this shameful and intentional failure was brought to light. The timestamps are falsified and I can prove it. Even so, the failure to send medical personnel and scanners-¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t risk the lives of our people until security-¡±

    ¡°Yes, now,¡± Gvx-Taa clicked. ¡°But if you had actually performed your duties rather than indulge in your own hate safety wouldn¡¯t be a concern, would it?¡±

    Councilor Rexxidough just spluttered in reply.

    ¡°In the interests of transparency,¡± Gvx-Taa buzzed, ¡°we have, using the powers granted us under the Federation State of Emergency Protocols, initiated a criminal investigation concerning matters involving this whole incident specifically investments made by members of the relevant councils and other-¡±

    ¡°That is abusing your charter!¡± Councilor Rexxidough screamed. ¡°We will not stand for-¡±

    ¡°And we will,¡± Gvx-Taa continued shouting over him, ¡°in the interests of restoring stability, release the results to <em>the public</em> as allowable under those same protocols. I wonder how your voters will respond, Councilor.¡±

    ¡°I call for the immediate arrest of-¡± the councilor started to scream before his mic was cut off.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that will be necessary,¡± the Prime Minister said calmly. ¡°You have made your point, Director. As is <em>MY</em> prerogative under those same protocols I am <em>ordering</em> you to cease your investigation and hand all of your current findings to the Council of Justice where <em>they will</em> continue your fine work.

    Gvx-Taa buzzed angrily and spat into his bucket.

    ¡°I assume you brought your investigation up for a purpose,¡± the Prime Minister continued. ¡°What actions do you wish to attempt to force us to undertake?¡±

    ¡°Follow Jessica Morgan¡¯s advice,¡± Gvx-Taa replied calmly. ¡°It¡¯s the only way to restore stability before the humans undertake an armed rebellion.¡±

    ¡°I will ignore the fact that you are so well informed concerning a <em>private discussion</em> between myself and Ms. Morgan,¡± the Prime Minister said calmly. ¡°However, as I already told her we simply cannot allow the Federation to cave in to the demands of a violent armed rabble of which Jessica Morgan is clearly now a member. The Federation does not kneel to threats. It does not deal with terrorists. We have an entire Federation of hundreds of worlds to manage. If we cater to the humans we send a strong signal, the wrong signal, to countless malcontents across our <em>entire</em> Federation. This, we cannot allow. As your own department has observed, the humans are a minor poption of little consequence as far as the bigger picture is concerned. We have no option other than to crush their uprising for the sake of the stability of the Federation. We cannot allow them to threaten the greater peace of our people.¡±

    ¡°About that,¡± Gvx-Taa replied, ¡°Our assessments have indicated that an insufficient force has been sent. These are <em>humans</em> we are talking about. If you are intent on ¡®crushing¡¯ them then you need to be prepared to y. They are a spacefaring culture. As we speak <em>hundreds</em> of vessels are descending upon the Raylesh and Zaran systems as well as other major human poption centers including <em>this very city</em>. They are clearly-¡±

    ¡°Federation Command assures us-¡±

    ¡°You mean the same Federation Command that assured you of a (Bzz) ¡®quick victory¡¯ against the Republic?¡±

    Murmurs filled the council chamber.

    ¡°Order!¡± the Prime Minister shouted and then turned back to Gvx-Taa. ¡°If you review the number of troops and ships being deployed you will see that more than a sufficient force is being dispatched. Federation Command is taking this very seriously!¡±

    ¡°Yes, sufficient forces have been sent,¡± Gvx-Taa buzzed as he spit out another healthy dollop of bile, ¡°for <em>civil unrest</em>. That¡¯s not what you are going to face. We feel we will be engaging a coordinated <em>military</em> force. Jessica Morgan is the equivalent of a general and the ¡°houses¡± that shemands should be considered fully equipped militarymands. As our favorite reporter, Helena Sterling, has stated, they fought the Terrans with far greater sess than anyone else including the Empire. The <em>only</em> way we can ¡®crush¡¯ what is about to happen is to pull Jessica Morgan¡¯s fangs. <em>Make a deal with them.</em>¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t have sufficient arms to field an army,¡± the Prime Minister replied calmly. ¡°They don¡¯t have an armed fleet. Even more, their leadership is in disarray after being prematurely exposed. Even your intelligence reports have indicated-¡±

    ¡°Yes, yes, yes,¡± Gvx-Taa buzzed impatiently, ¡°And we did report that. However, that was before we have observed <em>very</em> organized movements by those under Morgan¡¯smand. They aren¡¯t acting like they are in disarray. They are acting like they know exactly what to do. We find that disturbing in the extreme.¡±

    ¡°A mob of ships returning to their home systems is hardly a coordinated anything,¡± the Prime Minister replied. ¡°In fact, this is the perfect time to strike. We can seize their entire fleets on the ground! Federation Command hasmitted more than enough troops to put down even the most pessimistic projections.¡±

    Gvx-Taa let forth a gusty buzzing sigh.

    ¡°The humans have an expression, ¡®pissing on a forest fire¡¯,¡± he buzzed. ¡°If the meaning of that idiom isn¡¯t perfectly clear it refers to apletely inadequate action. That is what we are doing, we are pissing on a forest fire. The director was a hard-scaled old eel. Not much rattled her. The humans? They <em>frightened</em> her. Why? Because she could see the threat they represented to all of us. I implore you, please don¡¯t prove her correct. These¡­ things¡­ don¡¯t provoke them any further, please. Make the sacrifices necessary to put out the little trash fire we are currently facing before it reaches the trees. Otherwise-¡±

    ¡°While I appreciate your clever and colorful phrasing this ¡®trash fire¡¯ as you so eloquently put it is just that, rubbish. We <em>will</em> stomp out the embers and we <em>will</em> restore order.¡±

    ¡°(sigh) The director was right about you, you know,¡± Gvx-Taa muttered. ¡°Fun with the humans, the sequel, is hitting theaters near you... <em>hard</em>.¡±

    ¡°That will be quite enough, Director,¡± the Prime Minister replied. ¡°The purpose of this emergency Council meeting was to investigate the causes of the current civil unrest, not discuss strategy. You have answered all of our questions quite clearly. You may return to your duties.¡±

    ¡°Ohhhh I¡¯m gonna need a bigger bucket...¡±

    ***

    High Bishop Dupris stepped in front of the pulpit. In front of him was most of The Chosen. He took a deep breath. This was going to be interesting. He idly wondered if he would survive.

    ¡°Brothers and sisters,¡± he said in a strong and clear voice. ¡°As you already know, we have been betrayed. What you may not know is how deep that betrayal is. We were betrayed, misled, from the very beginning of our order.¡±

    He paused for emphasis.

    ¡°And, through our own greed, wrath, and hate we allowed ourselves to be misled. We NEVER followed the will of THE LORD!¡±

    mutterings broke out in the chapel.

    ¡°NEVER! We have been following the words of the Great Deceiver! Since the beginning! Look at our actions. Were they the acts of an all powerful and all loving GOD? NO!!!¡±

    There were shouts of outrage. He breathed a sigh of relief. This was actually going better than he thought it would.

    ¡°And our reward?¡± he asked in a loud confident voice. ¡°Defeat! Defeat after defeat! How could we win? THE LORD was NOT with us! We followed the will of MAN, not GOD. We followed the greedy, the hateful, the debased. Many of us were, are the same, twisted by hate, twisted by greed, twisted by the love of fire, the love of death. How could we win? It was IMPOSSIBLE for we stood AGAINST GOD not with him, and so... we fell. We followed a FALSE IDOL!¡±

    The crowd was getting ugly. The inquisitors, the only armored and armed people in the chapel shifted ufortably and gripped their weapons.

    ¡°BUT NO MORE!¡± High Bishop Dupris shouted. ¡°NO MORE! REJOICE FOR WE HAVE BEEN SHOWN THE WAY!¡± He screamed as he rammed his fist onto the pulpit. ¡°THE LORD has sent us a divine messenger. HE spoke through one of us, to us!¡±

    A voice issued through powerful speakers shaking the chapel as holographic images of battle appeared behind him.

    ¡°All children of GOD, to me!¡± a strong female voice called out. ¡°All children of GOD are under my protection! So sayeth THE LORD! All children of the stars, to me! You too shall find protection for you are also children of THE CREATOR! All who stand against the vile invader, the Federation, the INFIDEL, rejoice for THE LORD stands with you! I stand with you! All shall fall before us! Nothing can stand against us! Nothing can stand against us for to do so is to stand against THE LORD! Rally under my banner! I shall be your sword, your shield, somandeth THE LORD! Drive these INFIDELS from this sacred soil, purged by fire, baptized by blood! This is our day! This is our time! This is ourmand from THE LORD! Purge the INFIDEL! <strong>DEUS VULT!!!!</strong>¡±

    ¡°So sayeth the prophet, Miche Vasquez. She wisely saw the error of our ways, and stood not with us in our final days. The heretics said that this was cowardice, but she was no coward. She was wise. She slept, hiding her shameful past, our shameful past, until THE LORD had a use for her. Then she donned her armor, her sword, and her guns and she proudly strode forth into the light. With THE LORD at her side she slew THE INFIDEL and none could touch her for THE LORD was with her until the end, where HE granted her one final miracle. Having already drunk from the cup of death, when she reached thenders of THE INFIDEL she was granted the gift of fire, something that <em>should not have been possible</em> and she swept their ships from the soil that they sphemed with their foul presence.¡±

    The room had grown silent. He smiled. That was a good sign.

    ¡°We have the same opportunity!¡± he shouted. ¡°We can repent! We can cast aside our shameful ways, and we can embrace the true word of THE LORD! We do not exist for ourselves! NO! We were saved, preserved, for ALL children of THE LORD! How else were we able to recover our holy armor, our sacred weapons? That was another miracle granted unto us. We have been able to hide, preserved by THE LORD, for this very day. The day when we would be delivered from the heretics who led and misled us, delivered from our own arrogance, and delivered from our defeat! No longer will we be condemned to fail. No longer will we have to hide. All we must do is follow the true word of GOD as delivered to us by none other than <em>The Hammer of God</em> herself, Miche Vasquez!¡±

    He paused and let the silence build.

    ¡°We have a new crusade, brothers and sisters! And this time, it is a true crusade given to us by THE LORD not man. We shall protect all of the children of THE LORD! We shall step into the LIGHT and we shall smite the INFIDEL!¡±

    He threw his arms wide and shouted.

    ¡°Brothers! Sisters! ARE YOU WITH ME?¡±

    Silence. Oh that wasn¡¯t good¡­

    Then¡­

    One shout (his nt in the audience)¡­ Then another (another nt)¡­ Then a third (not a nt!)¡­ and another and another and another until the room was filled with shouts and cheers.

    ¡°We now step forward into the LIGHT!¡± he shouted. ¡°Into HISTORY! Deus Vult!¡±

    <strong>¡±DEUS VULT!!!¡±</strong> The room respond, the shout shaking the very walls.

    ¡°Kneel!¡± he shouted.

    Everyone knelt.

    ¡°We cast aside our beliefs, our past, and are born anew!¡± he shouted. ¡°We are no longer The Chosen! We were never chosen! The arrogance! The sinful hubris! No! We are no longer those people! Embrace a new day! Embrace your new path! The Chosen are no more! Arise! Arise my brothers, my sisters. Arise, The PENITENT!¡±

    Everyone stood and snapped to attention.

    ¡°We have a long road ahead and much for which to atone,¡± he said. ¡°However, we step forward into that new day unafraid, prepared for this our eternal crusade against an INFIDEL without number. Rejoice! Our destiny is finally revealed! I have spoken with General Morgan. She epts our swords. When their forces fly into the heavens to wreck havoc we shall remain here, on Raylesh where we will protect those left behind. Our armor will protect us from the pestilence. We will protect those left behind, distribute supplies, and yes! We will smite THE INFIDEL! They will not hold this sacrednd while we still draw breath!¡±

    ¡°This is not the word of THE LORD. This is the word of The General. However, it is fitting. We are ideally suited to this role and we shall not fail, not the General, but our fellow children of THE LORD. My fellow Penitent, our task is assigned. Our path is clear. We have much for which to atone but we are strong! We will not fail!¡±

    He stepped in front of the pulpit and threw his arms outward.

    ¡°<em>DEUS VULT!</em>¡± he shouted

    <strong>¡±DEUS VULT!!!¡±</strong> was the reply.

    People stepped forward holding bundles of tabards each bearing a violet cross and distributed them among the throng.

    High Bishop Dupris smiled and breathed a huge sigh of relief as people donned their new colors. He was still alive!

    He cast aside his old tabard and donned one bearing a violet cross embellished with his rank in thread of gold.

    He felt a little thrill as he donned it.

    Maybe there was something to this penitent nonsense after all...

 Chapter The Round Enters the Chamber

    Chapter The Round Enters the Chamber

    Sheriff Gree-Val-Shel leaned against his grav-truck that was parked across bothnes of the small questionably paved road leading to ¡°his¡± town.

    One of his deputies was holding an advanced tactical binocr variable range multi-scanner to her ping-pong ball looking eyes.

    Her crest inted. She had the prettiest crest, just like her momma.

    ¡°Assholes iin¡¯,¡± she drawled as she tossed the scanner into the truck.

    ¡°Right on time,¡± he replied. He and his two deputies grabbed riot-sters and cradled them in their arms.

    Two grav-vans quickly approached. As they did the sheriff flicked a small switch on his belt and arge holographic ¡°HALT!¡± sign appeared above them surrounded by shing lights.

    The vans reluctantly slid to a halt.

    The sheriff approached.

    ¡°Hello frien¡¯,¡± he drawled in that aggressively friendly/not friendly tone that allw enforcement officials have across the entire universe as he walked up to the vans. ¡°What can we do for ya?¡±

    A rather pompous looking Vulxeen red at him, his gray skin flushing a light purple.

    ¡°We are on Federation business, move your vehicle.¡±

    ¡°No can do, frien¡¯,¡± the sheriff said with a pleasant but firm voice. ¡°We got humans up the road and we can¡¯t be havin¡¯ you track in the rots.¡±

    ¡°I can assure you that we are perfectly safe we-¡±

    ¡°And just where did yae from?¡±

    ¡°We drove here from Zara-Knerh if you must know.¡±

    ¡°Lotsa humans in Zara-Knerh. Sorry, frien¡¯. Can¡¯t risk it.¡±

    ¡°We are here on Federation-¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t care,¡± the sheriff replied as several grav-tractors andrge trucks started to approach. ¡°You gotta scanner?¡±

    ¡°You know perfectly well we don¡¯t!¡± the Vulxeen snapped. ¡°There is a shortage and all units are assigned to vital-¡±

    ¡°Well, we¡¯re fresh out too. Don¡¯t have any fancy crap like that out here,¡± the sheriff smiled, ¡°so we have to assume you are contaminated. Not gonna let you infect my humans,¡± he said firmly.

    The Vulxeen spluttered and produced a tablet. The Sheriff put a polymer evidence bag over his hand and took it.

    ¡°Oh, you are here after those ¡®dangerous fugitives¡¯ what broke containment!¡± heughed. ¡°Well, sorry to tell you that you can¡¯t have ¡®em.¡±

    ¡°<em>What?!?</em>¡± the Vulxeen spluttered. ¡°Those are Federation Emergency orders! We are in a state of martialw if you yokels haven¡¯t heard!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we might have heard somethin¡¯ about that,¡± the sheriff chuckled. ¡°But those ¡®dangerous¡¯ humans went and got themselves in a bit of trouble. We had to arrest the lot of ¡®em¡­ Pretty serious charges too¡­ary felonies¡­ Sorry, we can¡¯t release them to you till we have finished our investigation.¡±

    ¡°What are they charged with?¡± the Vulxeen demanded.

    ¡°Now I can¡¯t be divulgin¡¯ the details of an ongoin¡¯ investigation,¡± the sheriff grinned. ¡°What sort ofw enforcement official would I be if I went and did a damn fool thing like that?¡±

    ¡°In ordance with the powers granted by the Emergency Powers Protocols I am-¡±

    He fell silent as the sheriff leveled his riot ster at him.

    ¡°And in ordance with those same protocols I ain¡¯t gonna let contaminated shitheads into <em>my</em> town! You¡¯re gonna have a hard time spoutin¡¯ those protocols with no fuckin¡¯ head, <em>frien¡¯</em> ¡±

    A half-dozen tractors and farm vehicles, crowded with armed pol-ka surrounded the Federation vans.

    ¡°Deputies, d ¡®ya could make it,¡± the Sheriff said pleasantly as they all leveled an assortment of weapons at the two vans.

    The Sheriff turned to the Vulxeen, now sitting very still behind the controls of his van.

    ¡°See, now this mighte as a bit of a surprise to someone like you but ¡®yokels¡¯ like us¡­ We are a simple folk and we love simple pleasures¡­ like fishin¡¯¡­ and <em>huntin¡¯</em>¡­¡±

    He idly tossed the tablet through the van¡¯s window.

    ¡°Unless you want me to dere today Fed season,¡± he smiled nastily, ¡°you are gonna turn your candy-coated asses around, go right back to Zara-Knerh, and note back until you get a court order, from <em>our</em> court, that authorizes a (heh) ¡®prisoner transfer¡¯, and a med scanner with the medical personnel qualified ta use it. Otherwise...¡±

    He paused as the ¡°deputies¡± all chuckled.

    The Vulxeen just red at him

    ¡°You are honestly going to go to jail over a bunch of worthless porkies?¡± he asked angrily and then quickly fell silent as the pol-ka around him, especially the sheriff, hissed angrily.

    ¡°Those ¡®worthless porkies¡¯ have been a part of ourmunity, <em>our family</em>, for over a hundred years!¡± the sheriff snarled around a mouthful of rage phlegm. ¡°The only ¡®worthless¡¯ lifeforms I see are the ones right in front of me.¡±

    The Vulxeen shifted nervously as he eyed the armed ¡°deputies¡± surrounding him. They were disengaging their safeties!

    ¡°T-this isn¡¯t over!¡± he eximed trying to sound like he wasn¡¯t in fear for his life. ¡°Let¡¯s see how tough you are when Federation Marinesnd on top of you tomorrow!¡±

    With that the two vans quickly turned around and fled.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the sheriff chuckled as he watched them run. ¡°Tomorrow might be just a little disappointin¡¯ for ya.¡±

    He turned to the driver of one of the tractors.

    ¡°Hey,¡± he called out. ¡°Those AK¡¯s show up yet?¡±¡­

    ***

    Lieutenant Arraval looked at the monitors in front of him and frowned. The streets were nearly empty. He entered a series ofmands and increased the altitude of the drones at hismand.

    He saw nothing but more quiet streets. Every now and then you would see a group of human adults quietly going about their business, usually moving quickly and orderly into the open and then almost immediately entering a dwelling.

    One of his drones registered a huge energy spike. He saw a starship entering the atmosphere outside of an assigned starport. It seemed to be heading to an open area near an educational facility surrounded by spectator seating. He logged the information and added it to the ever growing list of vessels that were makingndfall across the, far too many to interdict.

    Ships were makingndfall <em>everywhere</em>. He looked at the huge and ever growing list with concern. He had no idea the humans had so many ships! He sent a drone past the new arrival. It was registered with Steelfist Shipping LLC. The manifest stated that it was uden and was ¡°returning to home port¡±.

    He tried to hail it knowing full well what would happen.

    There was no response. The ship had powered down. None of them responded, but if an attempt was made to board they would promptly power back up, take off, and thennd somewhere else.

    It was sufficient grounds to seize and impound a craft, if you could actually grab one, but not enough justification to open fire with something powerful enough to down a ship, especially on the surface of a. A few ships, especially the ones in the ports, hadplied and when boarded they were exactly as the manifests stated,pletely empty.

    It was the other ones he was concerned about. It made no sense.

    He really didn¡¯t like it when humans didn¡¯t make sense. He was no racist, quite the contrary in fact. What wasing to light absolutely disgusted him and he hoped that the people responsible would get dragged through the streets! It wasn¡¯t racism.

    It was experience.

    He had served the Federation for his entire adult life. He fought the Terrans and he had tangled with the criminal element, one part of the Federation where humans were quite well represented, for much longer.

    One thing he had learned time and time again was when humans were ¡°making no sense¡± or ¡°acting stupid¡± or ¡°crazy¡± it wasn¡¯t because they were those things.

    They knew <em>exactly</em> what they were doing. You just hadn¡¯t figured it out yet.

    They weren¡¯t stupid. You were for missing something painfully obvious. They weren¡¯t crazy. You were for sticking around waiting to discover whatever that was¡­

    Exactly like he was doing right now. They were up to something, something big. That many ship captains and ship owners wouldn¡¯t be setting their entire fleets up to be seized, which was exactly what was going to happen¡­

    ¡°We are missing something,¡± he said.

    ¡°What¡¯s that, Lieutenant?¡± the old Federation Colonel asked he waddled into the room.

    ¡°We are missing something big, sir,¡± he said as he kept his eyes on his screens. He wasn¡¯t about to miss the slightest slip.

    ¡°Their behavior is bizarre to say the least,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°They may be able to evade us for now but their little hoppy-bug nonsense won¡¯t help them tomorrow¡­ Which they should know full well¡­ I don¡¯t like it either, Lieutenant. I don¡¯t like it one bit.¡±

    ¡°And the streets,¡± Lieutenant Arraval grumbled. ¡°Yesterday it was all we could do to keep the peace and now...¡±

    ¡°Are youining?¡± the colonel asked with genuine curiosity.

    ¡°As a matter of fact, I am,¡± the lieutenant replied. ¡°How long have you been doing this, sir? When have you seen a pack of humans just go from hot to cold like that?¡±

    The colonel stood there in silence for a moment, looking at Arraval. After a few seconds he spoke.

    ¡°Only once,¡± the colonel replied, ¡°a very long time ago.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡± the lieutenant asked.

    ¡°It was the very first time I encountered one, not too long after they first showed up,¡± the colonel replied looking off into the distance. "I was a newbie station guardsman, wasn¡¯t on the force a year when it happened¡­ It was a single human, a female, barely an adult. My partner and I started to detain her for petty theft when she suddenly wed my face and started running. I don¡¯t know if you have had the pleasure but those little hard tes on the end of their fingers? They don¡¯t look like much but they <em>hurt</em>, trust me. I had some stripes on my beautiful visage for almost two years after that.¡±

    He wiggled back and forth in his species''s version of a head shake.

    ¡°We didn¡¯t know it at the time,¡± the old colonel continued, ¡°but she was wanted for questioning concerning two homicides back at their colony. What we also didn¡¯t know at the time was that we weren¡¯t the only ones looking for her. She had gotten into trouble with a group of humans known as The Red Teeth, really bad people, especially back then. She wasn¡¯t running from us. She was running from who would get their hands on her if we hauled her in.¡±

    The colonel flexed his eye ridges into a rueful smile.

    ¡°Anyway, we thought she was just running from the lock up when she was actually running from something far worse, a very unfortunate misunderstanding,¡± he said sadly.

    He paused as he examined the screens for a moment as if searching for something and then shrugged.

    ¡°I tell you, Lieutenant,¡± the colonel chuckled, ¡°She was something to behold. She didn¡¯t just run. She jumped. She climbed. She even swung from cabling like some sort of arboreal denizen.¡±

    He paused for a moment, lost in the memory.

    ¡°She caused quite the mess, and just kept racking up charges,¡± he chuckled. ¡°Property damage, assault, assault on a guardsman, grand theft of a cargo conveyor, reckless endangerment, felony property damage¡­ The charges just kept getting bigger and the potential penalties greater. I remember thinking that it didn¡¯t make sense. There was no reason for it. I mean it was just petty theft. It would probably just be a stern talking to and her butt getting chucked on the first transport back to wherever she came from. It was crazy.¡±

    The colonel just shrugged ruefully.

    ¡°But it wasn¡¯t crazy was it? What those Red Teeth people would have done to her¡­¡± he said grimly, ¡°Anyway, it was a space station. There was nowhere to go and we, after a minor injury or two, finally cornered her in a blind corridor. She just¡­ stopped. She then turned around just as calm and polite as you pleased...¡±

    ¡°What happened then, sir?¡±

    ¡°She just looked at us with these strange eyes and just and made a little one of their littleughing noises and said ¡®Well, I guess I¡¯m out of luck, huh?¡¯ and held out her hands as if she was submitting¡­ My supervisor pulled out some restraints, and when he walked up she, with that same little happy smile, pulled out a knife and struck so fast nobody could even twitch and so hard she almost took his head off,¡± the colonel said calmly.

    ¡°Creators!¡± the lieutenant gasped.

    ¡°It didn¡¯t stop there,¡± the colonel continued. ¡°If we thought she was fast with all that running and jumping it was nothingpared to what happened next. She was a <em>demon</em><em>!</em> It was like there were five of her all at once and the whole time she was¡­ <em>smiling</em> like she didn¡¯t have a care in the world. She <em>smiled</em> andughed as she killed four other guardsmen before we finally managed tond a shot, and killed another before we managed to put her down.¡±

    ¡°By the Void...¡±

    ¡°The strangest thing¡­ the thing that has stuck with me all these years,¡± the colonel said, ¡°wasn¡¯t that sheughed. Humans can do that when they fight. It wasn¡¯t that weird animal sound thates out of them sometimes when they attack. No,¡± the colonel said with a shudder, ¡°It was one of their <em>happy</em>ughs. And when I pulled the trigger on the final st that ended her life she¡­ She <em>smiled</em> at me as she fell.¡±

    The colonel closed his eyes as he remembered.

    ¡°I¡¯ll remember that smile for the rest of my days, Lieutenant,¡± the old officer said quietly. ¡°And that was just <em>one</em> of them. This¡­ this is a whole <em</em>. We¡¯ve taken every human in the Federation and have driven them into that same blind corridor that I drove that poor woman all those years ago.¡±

    The colonel swayed back in forth regretfully.

    ¡°We need to warn-¡± the Lieutenant started to say but the colonel just cut him off with a snort.

    ¡°We tried,¡± the colonelughed. ¡°Foolish civilians, they don¡¯t get it. Those pompous bureaucrats have never had to face a human before. They actually think they are cowed by the few hundred soldiers we have patrolling the streets. They actually believe that they are hiding, afraid of the (heh) ¡®overwhelming force¡¯ that will enter the system tomorrow¡­ Idiots¡­ They have no idea-¡±

    The old colonel froze, his eyes widening to their fullest extent.

    ¡°Monitor four! Monitor four!¡± he shouted lunging forward, shoving the startled lieutenant aside as he iled at the controls.

    The disy froze and then reversed. A lone human female appeared, looking up at the drone.

    She was waving¡­

    with a <em>smile</em>¡­

    ¡°That¡¯s it!¡± the old colonel shouted. ¡°Those are the <em>eyes</em>! That is the <em>smile</em>!¡±

    He sagged for a moment. Then, he drew himself to his full height. Lieutenant Arraval looked up at him in surprise. The colonel, the soft-bellied, self admitted ¡°tin cog¡±, as they derisively called mindless bureaucrats in military uniforms, faded before his very eyes.

    In his ce stood something that actually looked like a leader.

    ¡°Tomorrow,¡± the colonel said quietly. ¡°I will likely start issuing orders that will bring my thoroughly undistinguished career to an end. Whether or not you follow them is entirely your decision. Excuse me,¡± the old officer said. ¡°I have much to do.¡±

    ¡°What do we do?¡± the lieutenant asked helplessly.

    ¡°We do our duty,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Today, your duty is to glue yourself to these screens. Look at everything, everywhere. Miss nothing. Do your absolute best to try to catch the uncatchable, to find the unfindable. Figure out exactly what we are missing,¡± the old creature said firmly. ¡°Not every mission is fair nor even possible. This is one of them. Even so, try your best to do the impossible. Whatever you find, no matter how insignificant it may seem, report it directly to me.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir!¡±

    ¡°And, lieutenant,¡± the old officer said as heid an appendage on his shoulder, ¡°I¡¯ve authorized the armory to issue arms to all personnel. Go and select something that you arefortable with.¡±

    ¡°Sir!¡±

    The weary old colonel moved towards the exit.

    ¡°Oh, and Arraval,¡± he said as he paused at the door, ¡°If there is anything personal you need to do, anything unsaid that needs to be said, do it now.¡±

    The lieutenant just nodded as the colonel disappeared into the hallway.

    Arraval just sat there looking at his screens for a moment. Then, he leapt to his feet and rushed out of the room.

    ***

    Jessica Morgan, holding a cup of tea, walked into a room full of video screens and took her seat in hermand chair.

    On the monitors were dozens of grizzled old viinous faces.

    ¡°Good afternoon,¡± Jessica said as she smiled at them. ¡°Firstly, I would like to congratte all of you. The efforts undertaken by you all can only be described as a logistic masterpiece! The volumes of ships, weapons, supplies, and people that you have coordinated is simply awe-inspiring.¡±

    She grinned as she sipped her tea.

    ¡°And to do all of it right under the noses of the Federation! This is something that we could never have done during the wars! It seems that all of those years you have spent as ¡®legitimate businessmen¡¯ haven¡¯t been entirely a waste.¡±

    She smiled as the room filled with transmittedughter.

    ¡°We are first on the battlefield and our foe ispletely unaware,¡± she smiled. ¡°The n of battle has been transmitted to all of you. Are there any questions?¡±

    She smiled patiently as sipped her tea and spent entirely too many minutes rifying what should be obvious and addressing a host of minutiae that people really should be able to figure out for themselves.

    Then again, such things were her job now.

    ¡°Now that¡¯s all settled,¡± she said after everyone was satisfied. ¡°I want to make a few things very clear.¡±

    She set down her cup and leaned forward.

    ¡°Our fight is with the Federation, not innocent bystanders. Keep it clean! We are going to try to legitimize our fight in the eyes of not only the Republic and the Empire but in the eyes of the people of the Federation as well! We cannot do that if the news has us running around with pieces of xeno hanging out of our mouths¡­ I¡¯m looking at you, Gwen!¡±

    ¡°You were plenty happy with us the other day, bitch!¡± an old silver-haired fiend snarled back.

    ¡°Yes, a single, calcted atrocity,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°and it worked wonderfully. We triggered the promation of martialw exactly when we wanted it to be dered and we have caused an expeditionary force, just loaded with weapons and supplies, to be deployed exactly when and where we wanted it to go¡­ Your great-granddaughter is adorable by the way.¡±

    Gwen Shay beamed proudly.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t she a firecracker?¡± she asked happily. ¡°She took the mark like a champ, wanted it done the old way too!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s wonderful!¡± Jessica smiled back. ¡°I tell you, Gwen, it was like looking back in time. She looks just like you. Hard to believe you were ever that pretty!¡±

    Moreughter, including Gwen¡¯s, filled the room.

    ¡°Back on subject,¡± Jessica said firmly. ¡°The main reason I was singling-out Gwen here was that they are in the Zaran system. <em>Both on Zaran and everywhere the Pol-Ka are absolutely off limits!</em> I fucking mean it! They have been very good friends of humanity since day one! They still are! They have been helping and sheltering us even to the point of squaring off against the fucking Feds themselves. As far as I¡¯m concerned, the Pol-Ka <em>are</em> human! Make sure your people know this and if any of you see any of the unaffiliated starting shit you shut that down. Kill them. We don¡¯t have time to waste on people that would do something like that. If any of you feel the need to pick up some ''snacks'', then that¡¯s where you grab them from.¡±

    She recovered her tea.

    ¡°We¡¯ve all been in business long enough to recognize the importance of public rtions. War is just another business. We need to cultivate and maintain our ¡®brand¡¯. Are we deadly? Yes. Are we savage? Yes. Are we capricious? Sure,¡± she said with a smile.

    ¡°But are we <em>monsters</em>?¡± she asked, ¡°The answer is no. No, we are not fiends, we are not monsters, we are simply people who will do whatever they must in order to survive. We are people who were attacked first. The Federation harnessed a fucking bio-weapon in order to try to make us extinct out of hatred and greed. We just decided to not take that lying down.¡±

    She paused and drained her teacup.

    ¡°<em>That</em>, is the brand! That is the image we want to present to the gxy! We are warriors, desperate and vicious, who have been forced to fight and will fight <em>anyone</em> who seeks our destruction and will do <em>anything</em> to seize an advantage but we are not <em>monsters</em>.¡±

    She leaned back with a smug smile.

    ¡°Even the Mother Void loves an underdog,¡± she said, ¡°but everyone knows what you do with a sick, rabid beast. We want to be that underdog, not that beast. It¡¯s simple branding.¡±

    She paused and then grinned wickedly.

    ¡°Now, I¡¯m not telling you all to suddenly turn into good little boys and girls,¡± she chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m just telling you to keep it away from the cameras. There is plenty of room in Mother¡¯s embrace for you to do whatever you fucking want but just keep it out in the void. We don¡¯t need one of your barbecues showing up on the fucking news. In fact, I would greatly prefer it if you skipped the barbecues altogether. This isn¡¯t the old days. We should have plenty of supplies avable. If any of you want ¡®<em>dietary supplements</em>¡¯ just buy some fucking vitamins, please.¡±

    She tapped a key on the old fashioned keyboard in front of her.

    ¡°I am now sending you a little list that we have made,¡± she smiled. ¡°It¡¯s a list of friends, enemies, and the unssified. We want to start respecting our friends and punishing our enemies immediately. For example, the Pol-Ka are not to be harmed¡­ the Vulxeen, however...¡±

    Wicked chuckles broke out.

    ¡°In fact, if you do want a barbecue-¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± Gwen called out. ¡°They taste like pencil erasers!¡±

    ¡°¡­ Good to know, I guess,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°Any other questions or concerns?¡±

    Everybody either shrugged or shook their heads.

    ¡°Excellent!¡± Jessica eximed. ¡°I look forward to watching your exploits tomorrow!¡±

 Chapter The Trigger is Pulled! The Federations Bad Day Pt 1

    Chapter The Trigger is Pulled! The Federation''s Bad Day Pt 1

    (Musical intro ys as the station¡¯s logo is disyed)

    ¡®Lissa appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Good afternoon Zaran-7! It¡¯s ¡®Lissa Kay here on Sunshine Radio, your favorite source of music, videos, news, weather, and sports...¡±

    ¡®Lissa paused and looked up at the screen.

    ¡°Um, guys,¡± she said earnestly, ¡°I probably don¡¯t have to tell anyone this but today¡­ Today is when the Federation¡¯s expeditionary force is arriving¡­ Um...¡±

    Sheughed nervously.

    ¡°Going off script here for a second¡­ Guys¡­ The Federation, the <em>real</em> Federation is on our side! I honestly believe that. Those jerks who said those things and who have mismanaged the disaster response are out! They are going to work on a vine! They are!¡­ So guys, <em>please</em>¡­ Please don¡¯t make this any worse! Let¡¯s all just stay calm and work together! Thing¡¯s are going to turn around! You¡¯ll see! So¡­¡±

    She looked up helplessly at the camera.

    ¡°...happy thoughts...¡± she said weakly.

    ¡°Right!¡± she said with more cheer. ¡°Let¡¯s get things rolling today with some of everybody¡¯s favorites, and I would like to dedicate this block to our fellow <empletely innocent friends and neighbors</em>, friends who have done <em>absolutely nothing wrong!</em>, our fellow Federation citizens here on Zaran no matter what species they might be! So, sit back and enjoy some happy thoughts!¡±

    She started the first block of music videos and nervously checked the news feeds.

    She was still glued to the monitor when the door opened.

    It was the station manager, Be-Gel-Kara.

    He didn¡¯t look happy.

    "¡¯Lissa!¡± he eximed. ¡°What the heck?¡±

    ¡°Hi, Gel,¡± she said distractedly.

    ¡°Way to dampen the mood there,¡± he said disapprovingly. ¡°We are <em>Sunshine Radio</em> and that wasn¡¯t very sunny at all! Also, I thought I had made it perfectly clear that we weren¡¯t going to mention¡­ <em>today</em>¡­ on the air!¡±

    ¡°Sorry, Gel,¡± ¡®Lissa replied. ¡°I just¡­ I just had to say <em>something</em>, you know. We have a responsibility to-¡±

    ¡°We have a responsibility to our parentwork and to our format!¡± Gel chided. ¡°Look, I get it. I do. I¡¯m about to soak my felt over here,¡± he said a bit more gently, ¡°but thework was quite clear about this. We carry on with business as usual. It¡¯s the right call. People look to us for light entertainment, you know, sunshine and happy thoughts and all that bullshit.¡±

    He put his hand gently on her shoulder and gave it a friendly shake.

    ¡°Today of all days people are going to need that. Stick to the format. Do your thing. Make them smile and try to lighten the mood a little, huh?¡±

    ¡°Alright, Gel,¡± she smiled weakly. ¡°Fiddle while Rome burns! Got it!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know that one,¡± Gel smiled. ¡°But if that means y music while the world gets a giant Federation boot up its ass then yes! Exactly!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what it means,¡± ¡®Lissa smiled back. ¡°But, about the format¡­ Do you really think opening up the lines is a good idea today?¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s a terrible idea!¡± Gelughed. ¡°But thework says stick to the format so we stick to the format. Open the lines and fiddle your heart out!¡­ wait...¡± Gel asked leaning in to whisper. ¡°¡®Fiddle¡¯ isn¡¯t one of those ¡®HR words¡¯ is it?¡±

    ¡°Not in this context,¡± ¡®Lissaughed. ¡°You¡¯re safe.¡±

    ¡°Phew!¡± Gel eximed in mock relief. ¡°Now, get to fiddling!¡±

    ¡°You got it boss!¡± ¡®Lissa said giving him a salute. ¡°Hey, Gel,¡± she asked with concern. ¡°Your family, did you get them out ok?¡±

    Gel nodded.

    ¡°They are staying with some of the wife¡¯s family way out in the fields,¡± Gel replied. ¡°And you?¡± he asked, ¡°Are you going to head out to myke house tonight?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± she replied. ¡°My bags are in the break room.¡±

    ¡°Great!¡± he said. ¡°We are going to have a nurse with a scanner show upter today. Once she sweeps the ce we are going to lock everything down until the bus shows up.¡±

    ¡°It will be nice if everything is still here by then,¡± she replied darkly.

    ¡°Hey there!¡± Gel eximed. ¡°Happy thoughts!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, happy thoughts...¡±

    ***

    Drifting silently in the Zaran system¡¯s Oort cloud, Hattie Stockwell listened to Sunshine Radio as she stared at the readouts in front of her.

    She pulled out a dder of ¡°coffee¡± and loaded it into her trusty zero-g cup and set it to ¡°warm¡±. She was one of the only spacers who embraced zero gravity. The void¡¯s kiss meant that she would never be able to set foot on solid ground again but why would she want to?

    The Void was everything. The Void was nothing. The Void was perfect. The Void was all. It nurtured her, sustained her, cradled her ancient body in its cold embrace. The Void was a magnificent lover. Once she felt his touch all those years ago she wanted no other.

    The Void cloaked her. No artificial gravity meant no dimple. She only had the true mass of her ship to contend with. She rarely ever used an active cloak. It would actually be more noticeable than she was without it. When she was adrift and her custom low power systems were the only thing active she was just another rock floating in the perfection of the Void.

    The Void sharpened her senses. No cloak and no artificial gravity meant silence. With her power output virtually non-existent her sensor webs could ¡°hear¡± <em>everything</em>. She could hear the heartbeat of The Void, feel its breath on her skin.

    She checked her disys carefully. Real space was still nice and solid. There were no tell-tale ripples or stress points heralding any arriving ships.

    She took a long sip of her synthetic coffee as she zoomed on each of the tiny little whorls that surrounded each ship in the system. Everything was annoyingly normal.

    She wondered what the other spy was up to. Through her neural interface she located their distinctive teeny tiny bump. It was still out here in the cloud with her, it¡¯s position unchanged.

    She wondered who they were. They weren¡¯t Feds, that¡¯s for damn sure. They were way too ¡°tidy¡±, way too slick. They weren¡¯t Republic. They didn¡¯t ¡°click¡± like a Terran ship would. They weren¡¯t Empire either. She didn¡¯t feel any of the ¡°buzz¡± that their power nts would generate. They definitely weren¡¯t Collective. Their inter-system jumps were way too ¡°clean¡±.

    They were just this nice smooth ¡°pebble¡± ever so lightly resting on space and time, almostpletely invisible¡­ almost.

    She slowly raised her cup to her ¡°brother¡±. Whoever or whatever they were, they were a professional, a skilled master of the arts of silence and shadow. They were almost as good as she was¡­ almost.

    An amber notice shed on one of her ultra low-power disys. Looks like the Feds were warming up a hyperspace transmitter.

    Nice.

    She quickly loaded hertest readings and synced her ry to fire at the exact same instant, transmitting hertest observations to her old friend and sponsor, General Morgan. She also risked a little more power to her sensor amplifiers. Those noisy Fed rys would shake the whole system for her. No sense letting a free ¡°ping¡± go to waste.

    Maybe she could get a better look at her ¡°friends¡±.

    ***

    Also lurking in the same Oort cloud, Xyrr/Skr/Holztz/Gretsha perched on hermand pedestal of her ship, the <em>Nothing to See Here</em>.

    ¡°Feces!¡± a drone grumbled as he gazed into a data feed.

    The young queen looked over at him with amusement.

    ¡°So, did you locate them?¡± she buzzed with augh.

    If looks could kill¡­

    ¡°No, my queen,¡± the drone buzzed in exasperation. ¡°It is the same as before, the slightest perturbation as the Feds sent their transmission and that is all. I know they are out there but...¡±

    The drone trailed off in frustration.

    ¡°And no distortions in real-space that aren¡¯t already ounted for,¡± the proto-queen science officer, added with amusement. ¡°Also there are no unnatural orbits, no unusual power emissions¡­ nothing.¡±

    She shed a few facets of her eye at the captain wickedly.

    ¡°Hey, Vxzxu,¡± she asked. ¡°Are you sure you aren¡¯t simply misinterpreting the data? You could just be chasing an emission harmonic-¡±

    ¡°THE DATA IS INCONTROVERTIBLE!!!¡± the drone shouted angrily. ¡°I THINK I WOULD KNOW IF¡­¡± he trailed off as an unmistakable scent wafted off of the science officer, ¡°...oh go and pleasure yourself, Preenx...¡± he buzzed as the bridge broke out intoughter.

    ¡°Keep a feeler out for our friend,¡± the queen-captainughed, adding her scent to the potpourri of amusement filling the bridge. ¡°but keep your eyes on the juice-grubs! While I would love to find Vxzxu¡¯s ghost our mission is to monitor today¡¯s events down to the nanosecond. That¡¯s why our silk has been spun. That¡¯s the fly we are here to catch.¡±

    ¡°Yes, my queen!¡± the bridge replied in unison.

    ¡°Still,¡± the queen mused settling onto her pedestal, ¡°I would happily surrender my scent-porn stash to find out who the hell is out there...¡±

    ***

    (Musical intro ys as the station¡¯s logo is disyed)

    ¡®Lissa appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Good afternoon Zaran-7! It¡¯s ¡®Lissa Kay here on Sunshine Radio, your favorite source of music, videos, news, weather, and sports!¡± ¡®Lissa said brightly at the bottom of the hour, ¡°Hope you enjoyed those vids! The lines are open if you want to request a tune or just want to share some sunshine! But, guys, please,¡± sheughed with false cheer, ¡°behave yourselves, ok?¡±

    She tapped her console.

    ¡°Hello, my little ray of sunshine!¡± ¡®Lissa said with a smile. ¡° ¡®Lissa here, wishing you a sun shiny day!¡±

    ¡°Hi ¡®Lissa!¡± a pol-ka said cheerfully.

    ¡°And hello to you too!¡± she replied with a cheerful smile.

    ¡°I just wanted to tell you and all of my human friends that we stand with you!¡± the pol-ka eximed.

    ¡°Well, thanks!¡± ¡®Lissa said with a genuine smile. ¡°It means a lot that our friendship-¡±

    ¡°We got sters! We got bombs! We got-¡±

    ¡°Oooookay...¡± ¡®Lissa said quickly poking the disconnect icon. ¡°Um¡­ Appreciate the sentiment but maybe keep that ster in your pants, dude.¡±

    Taking a deep breath ¡®Lissa selected a shing icon.

    ¡°Hello! You are talking to ¡®Lissa on Sunshine Radio!¡±

    ¡° ¡®Lissa! About thatst caller, he¡¯s an idiot! The Federation is going to wipe you scum off of the map! They are-¡±

    ¡°And you have a lovely afternoon too,¡± ¡®Lissa said as she swatted the disconnect icon.

    She looked up at the camera.

    ¡°Guys, Look,¡± she said with a forced smile. ¡°The world¡¯s going you-know-where in a hand-basket. I know that! You know that! We all know that! There are plenty of ces to carry on with your ster stroking and your g waving but not here! We do <em>happy thoughts</em> here, people, something that we could all use today¡­ Happy. Thoughts. Ok, we¡¯re going to the lines again but I will turn this car around, kids. I mean it!¡±

    She decided to try a video call.

    ¡° ¡®Lissa here! And who do¡­ oh (bleep)...¡±

    ¡°Woooooo!¡± a chillingly familiar blonde cheerleader yelled holding her trademark red stic cup aloft. This time she was wearing a ck polymer halter-top that showed off her gigantic ck Angels¡¯ tattoo. ¡°Remember me, (bleep)?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, (bleep), I do,¡± ¡®Lissa replied rapidly scrolling through options on her console and triggering the ¡°Police!¡± option.

    ¡°Ooooh, you said (bleep)!¡±

    ¡°I call them like I see them,¡± ¡®Lissa snarled. ¡°Here to brag about killing some defenselessmunity college instructors again?¡±

    ¡°Not this time, (bleep)¡±, Gwen yelled. ¡°I¡¯m here to deliver a message from the (bleeping) Devil herself!¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± ¡®Lissa asked trying to keep her on the line long enough for the police to find her. ¡°Why me? Why this show?¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious?¡± Gwen asked cheerfully. ¡°Because I love your show! It¡¯s my favorite!¡±

    ¡®Lissa¡¯s jaw dropped. That was the absolutest thing she expected to hear.

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Gwen continued. ¡°The Devil wants <em>everybody</em> to know that our fight is with the Federation (bleep)lords that are trying to extinctify us, not our fellow innocent civvies!¡±

    ¡°Ok¡­¡± ¡®Lissa replied in surprise.

    ¡°Especially the Pol-Ka!¡± Gwen shouted. ¡°Wooooo, Pol-Ka! Those guys have been our friends since day one! The Devil says as far as she is concerned they are human! Any (bleeps) who start (bleep) with any innocents today are going to have to answer to her and any stupid (bleeps) who (bleep) with innocent Pol-Ka are going to answer to <em>us</em>, you and your whole (bleeping) family! Have fun today! Get your loot on if you wanna but don¡¯t hurt-¡±

    ¡°Hey, (bleep),¡± a teenaged girl yelled off camera, ¡°Pinch it off! They just hit the third proxy!¡±

    ¡°Gotta go!¡± Gwen yelled. ¡°Wooooo! Goooo Angels!¡±

    The line went dead.

    ¡®Lissa just sat there blinking in shock.

    ¡°Are you sure you want me to keep the lines open?¡± She yelled at someone off camera. ¡°Seriously?!?¡­ Ok...¡±

    She took a deep breath, buried her face in her hand, and clicked a shing icon.

    ¡°Hello.¡± she said in a dull voice, ¡°You have reached Sunshine Radio...¡±

    It was going to be a long day¡­

    ***

    Inside a deceptively normal-looking freighter resting on the surface of Raylesh, Jessica Morgan sat in hermand chair trying not to fidget.

    ¡°They¡¯rete,¡± Jessica grumbled as she reviewed thetest intel reports.

    ¡°Typical,¡± Terrence replied as he poured her a cup of tea. ¡°Not terribly efficient are they?¡±

    ¡°No they are not,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°It¡¯s fucking rude, I tell ya.¡±

    ¡°Well, ifmon courtesy was prevalent among them,¡± Terrence replied as he set the teacup and saucer beside her, ¡°I daresay we wouldn¡¯t be here in the first ce.¡±

    ¡°True,¡± She smiled as she took a sip.

    Her expression darkened as she looked at her monitor wall.

    ¡°Goddammit! What part of ¡®radio silence¡¯ do they not fucking understand!¡± she growled. ¡°It¡¯s like herding cats!¡±

    She typed out an angry note and hit ¡°transmit¡±.

    All chatter ceased immediately.

    Jessica stood up and started to pace. She hated this part. She always did.

    ***

    Across the Federation, the entire gxy really, there existed hundreds of sapient species. One of the Federation¡¯s core ts was that all of them were ¡°equal¡±.

    This was of course, not remotely close to urate. How could it be? There were vast differences between them. Some were physically stronger or more graceful than others. Others, were gifted with one art or another or perhaps a native technology that made them unique. Still others had such intellectual gifts that they easily imed their ce in the stars.

    Then¡­ There were the Aat¡­

    Jaho cheerfully strode down the hallway of Zaran-7¡¯s Federation Emergency Command Center wearing his messenger bag proudly.

    Not just any Aat could be a <em>messenger</em>! It was a real important job!

    As he rushed down the hall with his <em>super important delivery</em> clutched protectively to his chest, a happy little voice called out from the janitor¡¯s closet.

    ¡°Hi Jaho!¡± another Aat called out.

    He turned to face a young female hurriedly grooming her glossy fur.

    ¡°Hi Ree!¡± he replied twitching his whiskers. ¡°Happy day to you!¡±

    ¡°Happy day to you too!¡± she replied, her ck eyes sparkling, ¡°Umm...¡± she said as she nervously straightened her baggy uniform, ¡°You delivering something?¡±

    ¡°Yes! It¡¯s snacks!¡± he said proudly hefting the bag. ¡°I had to go to the canteen and buy the colonel and the rest of the guys in themand center some stuff!¡±

    ¡°They gave you money?¡± she asked in surprise.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said proudly. ¡°They do that a lot!¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± she said as she groomed herself and shed him a toothy smile. ¡°I couldn¡¯t handle that kinda responsibility!¡± she eximed. ¡°I would be afraid of messing it all up!¡±

    ¡°Oh it¡¯s not hard,¡± he said as he pulled out a notepad with a little flourish. ¡°I just take down their orders and-¡±

    ¡°You can write?!?¡±

    ¡°Sure can!¡± Jaho grinned.

    ¡°Ohmystars!¡± she enthused. ¡°Could you write my name for me?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± he said flipping to a fresh page. ¡°Let¡¯s see...¡± he said as he concentrated. ¡°R¡­. e¡­. e¡­¡± he said to himself as he carefully wrote each letter. ¡°There!¡± he said happily as he tore out the page and handed it to her.

    ¡°Oh thank you!¡± she eximed as she held the paper to her small frame. ¡°Thank you!¡±

    She looked up at him shyly.

    ¡°Um, Jaho...¡± she asked timidly. ¡°Do you have a safe ce to stay, you know¡­ in case things get bad? ¡®Cause if you don¡¯t you could-¡±

    ¡°Quit blocking the hallway, you little idiots!¡± an unpleasant voice shouted.

    A Vulxeen was looking down at them with a nasty look on it¡¯s face.

    ¡°Sorry, sir,¡± Jaho said diplomatically as Ree froze in terror. ¡°We was just-¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care!¡± the Vulxeen snapped. ¡°We are in a state of emergency and you can¡¯t just bezing about in the middle of the hall like this! I should report you!¡± he said nastily.

    ¡°You!¡± he said turning on Ree. ¡°Who is your supervisor?¡± he snapped as she clutched her tail nervously.

    Jaho¡¯s eyes narrowed as he stepped in between them.

    ¡°Sorry <em>Mister Level Three</em>,¡± Jaho said sneering at him.

    The Vulxeen recoiled as if he had been pped.

    ¡°Never seen one of <em>you</em> just a level three before,¡± Jaho said with false innocence. ¡°Doesn¡¯t that mean you didn¡¯t grad-¡±

    ¡°You! What is your name?!¡±

    ¡°Jaho,¡± he replied pulling out his notepad. ¡°Do you¡­ need me to write it down for-¡±

    ¡°Aaarrgh!¡± the Vulxeen shouted as he stormed off. ¡°You will hear about this!¡±

    ¡°Eeeeee...¡± Ree wailed as she twisted her tail in her paws.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Jaho said reassuringly as he stroked her gently. ¡°He¡¯s just a big stinky stupid.¡±

    ¡°I got you into trouble!¡± she wailed. ¡°They¡¯re gonna take your job! They-¡±

    Jaho snorted.

    ¡°Big stupid can¡¯t take anyone¡¯s job,¡± he chuckled as he continued to stroke her head. ¡°We don¡¯t work for the Federation, we work for boss-man, remember?¡±

    ¡°But...¡±

    ¡°But nothing,¡± Jaho smiled.

    He then looked back and forth. Once he was sure it was safe he leaned in and whispered.

    ¡°Hey, how many Vulxeen does it take to light a candle?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know...¡±

    ¡°None,¡± Jaho said with a grin, ¡°because they¡¯re <em>stupid</em><em>!¡±</em>

    Ree¡¯s eyes widened in shock. Then, she broke out into giggles.

    ***

    ¡°Thanks, Jaho,¡± the old colonel smiled as he epted a small foil-wrapped bundle.

    ¡°With extra pickles and mustard!¡± Jaho proudly proimed.

    ¡°Perfect!¡± the colonel eximed happily, never taking his eyes off of the wall of disys.

    ¡°So what do you think, Jaho?¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°Sir?¡±

    ¡°About today,¡± the colonel replied ncing at him. ¡°What do you think is going to happen.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s...¡± Jaho replied thoughtfully, ¡°It¡¯s gonna be bad.¡±

    ¡°What makes you say that?¡±

    ¡°When things are going to get bad you find your family,¡± Jaho replied. ¡°The humans have been doing that. They are gathering up their kin. When Aat do that,¡± he said grimly, ¡°it¡¯s badtimes. It¡¯s endwar. You keep your family close, keep food on your backs, and your children in sight. In endwar you bring your children to the battlefield. That¡¯s what the humans are doing. It¡¯s endwar.¡±

    ¡°Why would you bring your kids to battle?¡±

    Jaho sighed.

    ¡°There is no home left. There is no safe left. There¡¯s-¡±

    Lieutenant Arraval rushed into the room.

    ¡°The human ships have all powered up, all of them, simultaneously!¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°why would they-¡±

    ¡°We have hyperspace res!¡± one of the people in themand room shouted. ¡°It¡¯s the fleet! Look at them!¡±

    Cheers broke out as ship after ship entered the system.

    ¡°It¡¯s the <em>Formidable</em>!¡± a female kreneel cheered as a huge Federation battleship entered real space.

    The colonel frowned.

    <em>The humans knew...</em> he thought to himself. <em>They knew they were hitting the system before we did.</em>

    ¡°Issue a level-four alert to all forces,¡± the colonel barked.

    ¡°Sir?¡± the female kreneel asked in confusion.

    ¡°This is what the humans were waiting for,¡± he said grimly. ¡°Have everyone stand ready.¡±

    ¡°Sir, the streets...¡± another person said in rm. ¡°we have movement!¡±

    Across the entire, trucks and buses started pulling out of warehouses, parking garages, schools¡­ everywhere.

    ¡°What are they doing?¡± someone asked, genuinely confused.

    ¡°They were waiting for the fleet to arrive...¡± the colonel muttered. ¡°Why? Why wait until you are outnumbered?¡±

    ***

    The bridge of the <em>Nothing to See Here</em> was in a barely controlled frenzy of activity. A massive number of ships were moments away from entering the system.

    It wouldn¡¯t be long now.

    ¡°I got you! I stinking got you!¡± themunications officer triumphantly shouted, spraying a huge plume of pride and triumph.

    ¡°Ugh! Not in my face, dude!¡± the captain-queen eximed as she curled her antennae back.

    ¡°Oh, sorry!¡± Vxzxu apologized.

    ¡°I take it you have something to apany all that musk?¡± the captain-queenughed.

    ¡°Oh do I!¡± Vxzxu eximed. ¡°My ghost-friend just sent an unmasked transmission. I got a clear look at it! I not only know roughly where they are I know who they are!¡±

    ¡°Well?¡±

    ¡°The encryption is that unbreakable <em>human</em> excrement! They¡¯re <em>humans</em>! Not only that but the only humans using that particr encryption are Jessica Morgan¡¯s forces! It¡¯s one of hers!¡±

    ¡°Still can¡¯t see it though,¡± the science officer said staring intently at her disys. ¡°Nothing in that area except for rocks and ice.¡±

    ¡°Are <em>you</em> sure <em>you</em> are interpreting <em>your</em> data correctly?¡± Vxzxu smirked.

    Preenx made a <em>very</em> rude flicking gesture with her rear legs as she continued to analyze the sensor feeds to everyone¡¯s amusement.

    ¡°Ignore the ghost for now,¡± the captain-queen snickered, ¡°Now that we know who they are their presence is fully exined. Let¡¯s focus on-¡±

    ¡°Iing res!¡± the weapons officer shouted.

    ¡°Yeah, focus on those,¡± the captain-queen buzzed happily as she pulled up her own set of disys.

    Things were about to get fun!

 Chapter The Hammer Starts to Fall! The Federations Bad Day Pt 2

    Chapter The Hammer Starts to Fall! The Federation''s Bad Day Pt 2

    Jessica Morgan sighed in exasperation as she paced back and forth.

    The Fed¡¯s Zaran expeditionary force had been in the system for almost half an hour.

    Half an hour...

    And here, in Raylesh?

    Nothing! Absolutely nothing! <em>They were supposed to get here first!</em>

    ¡°Fucking Feds!¡± she cursed. They were threatening the whole operation because they couldn¡¯t stick to a simple flight n!

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡± Terrence asked as he walked in with a tray of sushi.

    ¡°Where are the Feds?¡± she demanded. ¡°They were supposed to be here over an hour ago!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I couldn¡¯t say, ma¡¯am,¡± Terrence replied with the slightest of smirks. ¡°They never RSVP¡¯d.¡±

    ¡°<em>Rude!</em>¡± Jessica chuckled as she collected her lunch. She popped a piece of nigiri into her mouth, taking care to savor it. Such luxuries would be very rare very soon, even for her.

    After she swallowed the precious mouthful she decided to try reaching the Prime Minister again. The shooting hadn¡¯t started yet. There was still an outside chance that maybe, just maybe, she could negotiate something, anything. It wouldn¡¯t take much to stop today and everything that would follow.

    A lot of people were about to die, a lot of people. In the Zaran system alone a force of seventy-five thousand Federation soldiers have just entered the system not to mention the fleet of naval vessels apanying them. Atst count over a dozen cruisers and even the fucking <em>Formidable</em> had just flown right into her clutches.

    The size of the group en-route to her was at least four times asrge¡­

    She frowned and pushed the sushi aside. She had lost her appetite. What the fuck was wrong with her? A century ago she would be physically ¡°excited¡± at the thought of what was about to happen. Now?

    Now? She was just nauseous. She shouldn¡¯t have thought about the numbers again. Jesus, that was a lot of people, mostly just kids, young soldiers who hadn¡¯t done a damn thing to-

    <em>Get ahold of yourself, Jessica,</em> she thought. <em>You¡¯re the ¡°Devil of Sol¡± for fuck¡¯s sake!</em>

    She took a deep breath and lowered herself into hermand chair. She called the Prime Minister¡¯s private number.

    Momentster the Prime Minister¡¯s face appeared on her screen.

    ¡°Come crawling to beg for mercy?¡± he sneered.

    ¡°Voxxie,¡± Jessica said earnestly. ¡°Let¡¯s talk.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not certain that we have anything to discuss.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have to do this, Voxxie,¡± Jessica urgently. ¡°Let¡¯s work something out while we still can.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t deal withmon terrorists, Jessica.¡±

    ¡°Goddammit! Could you just drop the whole terrorist bit? It¡¯s just us here. I don¡¯t want to do this, Voxxie. I don¡¯t! We can stop this! I¡¯m not asking for much. I just need-¡±

    ¡°If you want to talk then turn yourself in and have your thugs stand down,¡± the prime minister replied calmly. ¡°Once you are in custody and order is restored, <em>then</em> I will be prepared to open a dialogue with the humans, not before.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not going to happen,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Not without something to give them. The humans need-¡±

    ¡°The humans <em>need</em> to remember that they are a part of the Federation and that they <em>need</em> to respect it¡¯s authority and the rule ofw!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t fucking get it!¡± Jessica snapped. ¡°A lot of people are about to die and you are talking about respecting ¡®authority¡¯ and the ¡®rule ofw¡¯? The humans lost both of those when you fuckers put the knife in. That ship has sailed! They aren¡¯t going to settle down unless they have the ability to manage themselves and manage this disaster without interference. That¡¯s it. That¡¯s all they need. Give us that and we can stop this madness before it starts!¡±

    ¡°The madness is already going to be stopped!¡± the prime minister replied. ¡°Overwhelming force has been dispatched to Raylesh, Zaran, and all other human enves. Order <em>will</em> be restored. If you are so afraid of your people dying then tell them toy down their arms and submit!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not afraid my my people dying. They already are!¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I am not afraid of you but I am afraid,¡± Jessica said quietly, ¡°I¡¯m afraid of <em>us</em>. I¡¯m afraid of <em>me</em>. I¡¯m terrified of what <em>we</em> are going to do today. I remember what we once were and it scares the shit out of me, Voxxie. I-¡±

    Jessica fell silent as her monitors indicated the arrival of the Raylesh Expeditionary Force. Holy fuck, there were a lot of ships.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± she said as she took a deep breath. ¡°We¡¯re out of time. We have this one final chance to stop everything. We have this onest chance to actually be <em>leaders</em> and stop a war that doesn¡¯t have to happen. Please, Voxxie, <em>work with me</em>! We can do this without bloodshed, without death! We-¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t escape your fate with your frantic maneuverings!¡± the prime minister replied smugly. ¡°Your uprising will be crushed, today! You humans will be taught your ce! And you, <em>old friend</em>, will spend the rest of your days in-¡±

    The prime minister fell silent as Jessica started tough a manic, uglyugh and tears started to roll down her cheeks.

    ¡°You <em>stupid fucker</em>,¡± she sobbed, ¡°We could have stopped this! <em>We could have stopped everything!!!</em>¡±

    She lunged towards the screen, her face twisted with anguished rage.

    ¡°Fine¡­ <em>Reap the whirlwind, motherfucker!</em>¡± she yelled as sheughed and wept. <strong>¡±Fucking REAP IT!¡±</strong>

    She terminated the call.

    She slumped into her chair and closed her eyes as she let out a ragged gasping sigh.

    She didn¡¯t have time for this.

    There was no time.

    There was no hope¡­

    She had a job to do, one she knew very, very well.

    She opened her eyes and smiled grimly as she established a hyperspatial ry link and triggered the release of a prepared statement that would soon be echoing across the entire known gxy.

    She then reached for her lunch. It turned out that she was a bit peckish after all and letting a te of sushi-grade fish go to waste was one sin she could prevent.

    ***

    The colonel stared at the disys in amazement.

    In almost any other circumstance this would be hrious. Hundreds of ships had all taken off in perfect unison and were flying about in hundreds of different directions with no regard for established flight paths or public safety.

    It was chaos, beautiful glorious chaos. Zaran Spaceflight Control waspletely overwhelmed. Even their automatic citation generator was swamped. It couldn¡¯t issue fines fast enough.

    Of course, every single ship had itsmand override and automatic navigation equipment disabled. They discovered that days ago when all this oddness started.

    ¡°Colonel,¡± the female Kreneel officer chirped. ¡°Admiral Moporan is hailing you.¡±

    An image of a heavily decorated Sam appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Colonel!¡± the admiral barked. ¡°What is going on down there?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been trying to figure that out for days, Admiral,¡± the colonel replied in a tired voice.

    ¡°Well, make them stop!¡± the admiral barked. ¡°Issue recallmands.¡±

    ¡°Oh Creators!¡± the colonel snarked. ¡°Recallmands! Why didn¡¯t I think of that! Hey, guys! Just issue recallmands!¡±

    As the Zaranmand center broke out into chuckles the admiral¡¯s expression darkened.

    ¡°Colonel, you are in dire risk of insubordination!¡±

    ¡°Of course we have issued recallmands, Admiral,¡± the colonel replied in annoyance. ¡°Every single one of those vessels has all of their mandated control interfaces removed.¡±

    ¡°And you haven¡¯t disabled them?¡±

    ¡°With what? Besides they have been keeping in the gravity well. We hit them with a pulse and they will fall into the, usually over a popted area. We can¡¯t knock them offline without significant civilian casualties and they know it. And before you ask the system defense force absolutely refuses to touch this one. They say it¡¯s our problem. In fact, I haven¡¯t been able to reach them at all since the ships lifted off.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have their jobs!¡± the admiral barked. ¡°Yours too if you don¡¯t resolve this! We can¡¯tmence deployment of our forces until thending areas are secure!¡±

    ¡°Again resolve it with what?¡± the colonel snapped. ¡°There are hundreds of¡­ wait...¡± the colonel trailed off as it hit him.

    <em>That¡¯s what they are doing!</em> the colonel realized. <em>By procedure, the Federation will not deploynders in a nonbat situation if space superiority is not established and they know it!</em>

    ¡°Admiral,¡± the colonel said in a very serious voice. ¡°That¡¯s exactly what they want. They are keeping you fromnding those troops! Admiral! You need to get those troops down here immediately! They-¡±

    ¡°Ournders could be vulnerable to those vessels,¡± the admiral replied as if he was talking to a child.

    ¡°Then get the troops out of here until we resolve this!¡±

    ¡°Retreat?!?¡± the admiral snapped. ¡°Nonsense! We will not turn tail over some rabble!¡±

    ¡°Sir, please reconsider,¡± the colonel said in rm. ¡°Don¡¯t you see? The humans have just legally forfeited every single one of those vessels for the expressed purpose of causing this dy. If they are willing to pay that much to buy a few minutes we are fools if we just sit around waiting to find out why.¡±

    ¡°I have no time for your inefficiency or cowardice, colonel,¡± the admiral sneered. ¡°Just y policeman down there until I have need of you.¡±

    Themunication was terminated. You could hear a pin drop as everyone turned to look at the colonel in shock.

    ¡°Have all troops go to battle-ready!¡± the colonel shouted seemingly unphased by the insult. ¡°Get our armored units fired up and ready to go, now!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Sir!¡±

    The colonel pulled upary maps and stared at them intently. He had a thousand troops scattered across the. He started recalling any deployed units, pulling everyone back to his strongholds.

    ¡°Colonel,¡± one of his officers said as they squinted their eyes in a smirk. ¡°The admiral has just issued a system-wide transmission ordering all civilian shipping tond. He says that all ships still active within one hour will be ssified asbatants.¡±

    ¡°Idiot!¡± the colonel said lightly mming his face into his desk.

    ¡°Sir, with all due respect, he is within his rights,¡± the female Kreneel replied. ¡°ording to the articles of-¡±

    ¡°Not that part,¡± the colonel snapped. ¡°An hour?!? Why not give them a week? He¡¯s ying right into their hands! Get him on the line!¡±

    ¡°They say he has no time to waste on you, sir,¡± the kreneel replied with a wince.

    ¡°Then, as the humans say,¡± the colonel said after a few seconds. ¡°we¡¯re fucked. Anyone who isn¡¯t armed draw a weapon immediately! Get me system defense now!¡±

    ¡°They still aren¡¯t responding, sir.¡±

    The colonel took a deep breath.

    ¡°Well, being a cog was nice while itsted,¡± he muttered. ¡°I am authorizing an immediate strike. Seize the system defense headquarters now. Combat is authorized. Don¡¯t go in gun¡¯s zing but if they resist, take them down.¡±

    ¡°Sir?!?!?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s an order. Take out Zaran¡¯s System Defense Command, now. Either this is all a big misunderstanding and we¡¯ll have a goodugh about it during my ¡®retirement party¡¯ or I¡¯m right. Please don¡¯t let me be right...¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir.¡±

    ***

    ¡°And that was the Minstrels with ¡®Gumdrops on my Pillow¡¯,¡± ¡®Lissa Kay said happily, ¡°I know they are just aary name right now but just you watch, guys,¡± she said with a big smile. ¡°They are going ces!¡±

    She beamed at the camera. Things had been going surprisingly well the past hour. In fact, they were going better than just ¡®well¡¯.

    Their ratings were through the roof! She got ¡°meme¡¯d¡± early in the show and it went viral! A picture of her, face in her hands, with the title ¡°Pour that girl a Johnson¡¯s!¡±, the catchphrase of Johnson¡¯s Spirits, an infamously famous cheap liquor (Legally they can only call it a ¡°spirit¡±-- Even vodka refuses to im them!), was the pic of the day! Unfortunately, a clip of her ¡°bleeping¡± on camera was also right up there. The sound was censored but it was pretty darn clear what she was saying. Normally she would be in trouble over that but with all the buzz it generated, thework was delighted!

    The second appearance of that ck Angels bitch also made theary news! It turns out that the little cheer squad psychopath was none other than Gwen Shay, the great-granddaughter of <em>the</em> Gwendolyn Shay, bitch-queen of the Angels herself!

    She had even justpleted a dual-cast interview/cob with Zaran Prime Information! ZPI was <em>the</em> system¡¯s newswork!

    Through all of this madness she had actually managed to get her message out there and people were responding! The lines were being flooded by good people who just wanted a little normalcy, a little cheering up¡­ a little <em>sunshine</em>! She couldn¡¯t cure the gue. She couldn¡¯t stop the ¡°invasion¡±, as it was now being called.

    She couldn¡¯t do a damn thing.

    But¡­

    She could run a cheerful little radio show and at least make the day a tiny bit less sucky. That she could do. It wasn¡¯t much, but at least it was something¡­

    It was something that a lot of people really needed right now!

    For the first time in days she actually was feeling like her old self again! She was even starting to feel just a little bit of genuine optimism. Maybe things wouldn¡¯t be so-

    Suddenly the monitors switched away from her smiling face and intentionally vacuous patter.

    Her blood froze in her veins as an entirely too familiar ancient visage appeared, the Devil herself.

    Jessica spoke.

    <em>Fellow humans, we face a crisis. A biological weapon, crafted by an ancient enemy, has been released into our poption. It is virulent, incurable, and one hundred percent fatal.</em>

    <em>Not only were we attacked but we were also betrayed. The Federation, our home for over one hundred years decided to not only fail to render the assistance that any citizen of the Federation has every right to expect but to actively hamper response to this crisis and to prevent any real research concerning its treatment or even a vine. They said that this bio-attack was a good thing. They said that we bing extinct was a ¡®plus¡¯. Theyughed at our plight, our sick, our dying...</em>

    <em>Theyughed!</em>

    <em>They actively took steps to encourage the spread of this gue and took steps to keep us from being effectively able to seek shelter or iste ourselves. They willfully withheld essential medical equipment and supplies, supplies that they have in abundance, so that the gue could not be stopped.</em>

    <em>And theyughed.</em>

    <em>Why? Why would they do this? They do this because it is the perfect ugly end to an ugly strategy they have undertaken since the debacle that was the Republic War. Ever since that idiotic attack they have sought to paint us as the primary cause, the main instigator of that war. That is simply not the case. It never was. Yes, some human INDIVIDUALS including, to my eversting shame, at least one member of my family were supporters of that attack. However, we humans have NEVER had enough power to be able to influence the Federation to the extent necessary to start a war on our own. If we had that power, then we certainly would have the power to prevent the desperate plight that we now face.</em>

    <em>Not even I have the power needed tomand the Federation¡¯s military. I really wish I did for if I could I would simply tell them to leave in peace.</em>

    <em>The Federation chose to attack the Republic on its own, for its own reasons. We were simply a useful tool that could be used to justify that war and a convenient scapegoat for when that war failed. We are, after all, humans the same as the Terrans. It was easy to artfully redirect no small portion of the anger and pain that rightfully belonged to the Federation towards us.</em>

    <em>By burying us many hope to bury the whole war and allow it to fade from history as we do. Others fear the Republic and hope that with us gone they will be appeased. Still others, such as the Vulxeen, seized upon this disaster as a way to seek revenge, to settle an old score. All of these groups also have another huge motivation. Simple greed. Review of the financial dealings of more than one individual behind the attempted murder of our entire people clearly show them already preparing to capitalize on the disaster. We know who you are. We areing.</em>

    <em>Make no mistake. We know the true source of the pathogen. Patricia Hu is to me for its creation and its release. She is directly responsible for the deaths of thousands. The Federation¡¯s intentional mismanagement of the response and active inhibition of our ability to manage ourselves during this nightmare is, however, responsible for the deaths of millions. The true threat to our survival is clear.</em>

    <em>The Federation had not the brilliance to create the pathogen. They had not the brutal resolve necessary to release it. Unfortunately for us, cowardly opportunism is something the Federation has in abundance and they gleefully seized upon this horror to further their own hate-filled, greedy ambitions.</em>

    <em>Even so, I endeavored until the final moments to negotiate a peace that did not entail our capittion, that did not require their hand upon our throat, that offered some assurance of our survival. I failed.</em>

    <em>As of this moment we are at war.</em>

    <em>We, however, cannot speak for every human in the Federation. We do not own humanity. I do, however, speak for many and our voice shall be heard starting today.</em>

    <em>Our voices do not call for war. They do not call out for vengeance, and perhaps it would be better for the Federation if they did. We call out, to all humanity, urging them to do the one single thing we humans do best...</em>

    <em>Survive. We shall not go extinct! We will survive! No matter who attacks or forsakes us we will survive and we will eliminate anyone or anything that seeks to prevent that.</em>

    <em>We call ourselves the Forsaken.</em>

    A disturbing banner emzoned with the eight-rayed star of chaos and studded with eyes appeared behind her.

    <em>Today, the Forsaken wages war. Today we strike the first blow against the Federation. We do this not to revel in carnage or seek revenge. Those are luxuries that survival does not allow. We do this to stop an invasion bent upon continuing the policy of extinction and to liberate fellow Forsaken that are trapped on Raylesh, Zaran, and other human enves. Once we break the stranglehold the Federation has on these areas we shall also distribute essential supplies such as scanners and other medical equipment to unaffiliated human poptions. That is our mission this blood-soaked day.</em>

    <em>We did not want war. We did not want blood. We did not want death but if they muste then they wille at our hands, on our terms, delivered to our foes.</em>

    <em>At the end of this day the Federation will wail and cry and moan and attempt, in their pathetic cowardly way, to paint us as the aggressors, as the monsters, but don¡¯t be fooled. We were created by them. We were set upon by them. They chose their foe, and they chose this battle.</em>

    <em>We merely refused to die. We apologize in advance for any inconvenience this might cause the gentle souls of the Federation.</em>

    The feed suddenly was cut and ¡®Lissa¡¯s pale, horrified face appeared on the screen.

    She blinked in confusion,pletely at a loss.

    ¡°Will <em>someone</em> please pour me that Johnson¡¯s already!¡± she yelled at the camera before pressing y on the next block of videos.

    A loud ¡°boom¡± shook the building shortly followed by dozens of others.

    ¡°What was that?!?¡± she yelled as she threw open the door to the studio and peeked out into the hall.

    ¡°Spaceship just hit the gas!¡± someone yelled. ¡°Sonic boom smashed the ss out front!¡±

    ¡°They are all rolling out!¡± someone else yelled as they were staring at their phone. ¡°All over the¡­ <em>All of them</em>...¡±

    ¡°So...¡± Gel said sadly, ¡°It¡¯s happening, then...¡±

    ¡°They can¡¯t expect to face the invasion fleet, right?¡± someone asked in a frightened voice. ¡°They aren¡¯t going to fight them, are they?¡±

    ¡°What are we going to do?...¡±

    ¡°Our jobs!¡± Gel replied in a loud, clear voice. ¡°We keep the people informed! We get the truth out, the real truth! People! Get to your desks! Man the feeds! Find out what the hell is going on!¡±

    He turned to ¡®Lissa.

    ¡°And you,¡± he said with a crazed smile.

    ¡°Fiddle?¡± ¡®Lissa asked.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m turning you loose!¡± Gel grinned. ¡°Do whatever the <em>fuck</em> you want. Be ¡®Lissa!¡±

    ¡°I can do that!¡± ¡®Lissa replied with a grin.

    ***

    Author''s note: You might observe some "inconsistencies" between Jessica Morgan''s deration of war and what you might have previously read or what you might notice in the future...

    I really didn''t want to have to be the one to tell you this but...

    Sometimes a public figure will say something that is... um... less than one hundred percent true...

    I hope this doesn''t shake your faith in humanity.

 Chapter ...Bang. The Federations Bad Day (3)

    Chapter ...Bang. The Federation''s Bad Day (3)

    ¡°They are leaving the atmosphere!¡± the tactical officer of the <em>Formidable</em> shouted.

    ¡°Where are they headed?¡± Admiral Moporan asked as he sipped a cup of herbal tea.

    ¡°Nowhere¡­ everywhere¡­ I don¡¯t know.¡± the tactical officer replied looking helplessly at his screen.

    ¡°Hmm...¡± the admiral mused. ¡°Send the cruisers to engage them. Start knocking them out with EMP bursts as soon as they are free of the¡¯s gravity.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Admiral.¡±

    ***

    ¡°What is that idiot doing?¡± the colonel asked as he watched the holographic wall in disbelief.

    ¡°Sir, it appears-¡±

    ¡°It was a rhetorical question,¡± the colonel said holding his head in his maniptors. ¡°How the hell did this guy ever make it past ensign? Did we ever get a good scan of those ships?¡±

    ¡°No, sir. Something inside them is interfering with our scanners.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain we are going to find out what they are hiding in just a few minutes,¡± the colonel said with a grim smirk. ¡°What about the System Defense HQ? We get there yet?¡±

    ¡°No, sir. Our units are en-route.¡±

    ¡°When they get there, have them drag whoever is in charge in front of amunicator. I want some answers.¡±

    ¡°Colonel!¡± the female Kreneel shouted. ¡°We have a hyperspace re!¡­ It¡¯s <em>huge</em>!¡±

    ¡°What the hell is that?¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure sir,¡± the kreneel replied. It¡¯s titanic!

    ¡°It¡¯s the <em>Ebon Dreamer</em>, sir,¡± another officer replied. ¡°It¡¯s a human Sargasso-ss freighter, registered to Morgan Shipping.¡±

    ¡°I thought only the Terrans made things that big!¡± the Kreneel said in awe.

    ¡°Oh that can¡¯t be good,¡± the colonel muttered.

    ***

    Captain Kevanl cursed as yet another freighter buzzed them.

    ¡°Target that asshole!¡± he yelled

    ¡°Sir!¡± his weapons officer shouted. ¡°Something is interfering with our automatic targeting systems!¡±

    ¡°Impossible!¡± the captain shouted. ¡°These are civilian- Full reverse! Abyss-kissed maniacs!¡±

    His shields shed as a freighter actually grazed their shields and bounced off.

    ¡°Pulse that shithead!¡± he yelled. ¡°Fire manually if you have to!¡±

    ¡°Pulse away!¡± the weapons officer shouted. ¡°It¡¯s a hit! They are dead in the-¡±

    ¡°Hyperspace re! It¡¯s a big one!¡±

    ¡°Contact the <em>Formidable</em>!¡± the captain yelled. ¡°Ahead emergency! Heading 180 x 120!¡± he shouted as they narrowly avoided another collision. ¡°And for the love of the creators please shoot these pool-shitters!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t get through!¡± themunications officer yelled.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°All frequencies arepletely clogged with¡­ music¡­ It¡¯s disturbing stuff, Captain! Even the hyperspace channels!¡±

    ¡°All of them?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± themunications officer said helplessly. ¡°I can¡¯t get through.¡±

    The shields screamed in protest as yet another freighter expertly nced off of them drawing a broad glowing streak along their entire port side.

    ¡°Shields fifteen percent loaded!¡± the tactical officer shouted.

    ¡°Keep firing EMP¡¯s!¡± the captain shouted and then turned to themunications officer. ¡°I don¡¯t care how you do it but get me the admiral!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± themunications officer said miserably.

    ***

    The admiral looked at the main disy, his rage slowly building.

    It was madness! His cruisers werepletely swarmed by hordes of freighters ¡°buzzing¡± them from all directions!

    It was as if they had absolutely no concern the consequences of their actions. Didn¡¯t they know that they would all be imprisoned, their ships seized?

    Why didn¡¯t they care?

    It didn¡¯t really matter in the end, he mused. Slowly but surely they were getting picked off by EMP¡¯s. It would take hours at this rate but they would all be disabled.

    But could they board them quickly enough for them not to be able to recover and resume their insanity?

    It was time toy down thew.

    ¡°Send a broadband message stating that every ship that continues to harass our vessels past this point will be, in ordance with the statutes pertaining to Martial Law and in ordance with the articles of Emergency Protocols, considered enemybatants and will be engaged with lethal force!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t, Admiral,¡± the <em>Formidable</em>munications officer said miserably. ¡°All frequencies of any sort are hopelessly jammed with music and other noise.¡±

    ¡°Impossible!¡± the admiral yelled. ¡°You mean to tell me that we, a <em>Federation battleship</em> can¡¯t cut through the yammerings of these rabble?¡±

    ¡°Some of them are carrying <em>very</em> powerful transmitters, Admiral!¡±

    ¡°Well have them targeted with pulses!¡±

    ¡°We are having difficulty determining the source of the transmissions,¡± themunications officer winced. ¡°There are too many of them to clearly-¡±

    ¡°Useless! The lot of you!¡± the admiral bellowed. ¡°Fire a message torpedo!¡±

    ¡°Sir, if we do that-¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t presume to tell me my job, Lieutenant!¡± the admiral shouted. ¡°Load that message into a torpedo andunch the ursed thing!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Admiral...¡± the Lieutenant said miserably.

    ***

    On board the <em>Ebon Dreamer</em> Captain Sturdivant sipped a mug of coffee and idly looked at his monitors. He smiled happily. Never in a million years did he ever expect to seebat again. It was a dreame true.

    ¡°Any time now,¡± he said quietly.

    ¡°Captain?¡± his first mate asked.

    ¡°The <em>Formidable</em>,¡± the captain replied. ¡°It willunch a message torpedo any second now. Is our courseid in?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± she replied. ¡°The secondary jump drive is already spooled up and ready to-¡±

    ¡°There it goes!¡± the captain said cheerfully. ¡°Let¡¯s do this!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± the first mate replied, swallowing nervously. Trying to keep her voice calm and even she pressed the inte.

    ¡°All missiles prepare to fire!¡± she shouted. ¡°Engage jump drives on my mark. Three, two, one¡­ MARK!¡±

    The <em>Ebon Dreamer</em> lept into hyperspace.

    ***

    <em>ALL VESSELS THAT CONTINUE TO HARASS FEDERATION SHIPS DURING THEIR MISSION TO SECURE THIS SYSTEM WILL BE CONSIDERED ENEMY COMBATANTS AND WILL BE ENGAGED WITH LETHAL FORCE!</em>

    <em>ALL FEDERATION VESSELS! YOU ARE HEREBY AUTHORIZED TO USE LETHAL FORCE. REPEAT¡­ ALL FEDERATION VESSELS ARE AUTHORIZED TO USE LETHAL FORCE FROM THIS POINT FORWARD.</em>

    <em>MESSAGE REPEATS...</em>

    The message torpedo unleashed a st of gravity waves, electromaic waves, and hyperspace distortions in allmunications frequencies as its powerful transmitters slowly overheated, drowning out all other transmissions in the system¡­

    And would for the next one hundred and twenty Federation standard seconds¡­

    The admiral smiled in satisfaction. That would show that porkie rabble. If they weren¡¯t frightened off by the message they certainly would scatter once they started being blown apart!

    ¡°Admiral!¡± themunications officer eximed. ¡°Our vessels are pulsing their drives. The signal has been received!¡±

    ¡°Something big has entered hyperspace, the <em>Ebon Dreamer</em>¡­ I think¡­ but all of this distortion has made it difficult to determine it¡¯s destin-¡±

    ¡°It probably fled once it realized that we were serious,¡± the admiral said smugly. ¡°Probably running back to-¡±

    The entire battleship vibrated as the <em>Ebon Dreamer</em> appeared less than two kilometers away.

    ¡°Wha?¡± The admiral asked,pletely stunned.

    ¡°Plutonium!¡± the tactical officer shrieked, ¡°Plutonium!¡±

    ¡°Fire!¡± the admiral screamed ¡°Fi-¡±

    ***

    The <em>Ebon Dreamer</em> shuddered from the powerful ster bolts striking its shield and from numerous debris impacts from firing a broadside point-nk into the <em>Formidable</em>.

    ¡°Damage report,¡± he said calmly as he watched the <em>Formidable</em> break apart.

    ¡°Shields ny-five percent loaded,¡± the first mate said nervously. ¡°While the shields barely held overall we have multiple breaches along the starboard side¡­ <em>Multiple</em> breaches.¡±

    ¡°Looks like we are out of the fight, then,¡± the captain replied. ¡°Get us out of here.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s see if all of those damage control drills paid off,¡± the captain said calmly and then looked over at his first mate. ¡°Susan, you can stop running in ce and get down there if you want. I got this.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain!¡± the first mate shouted and sprinted off of the bridge.

    ¡°Spin us about ny degrees,¡± the captain said to the helmsman. ¡°Ahead emergency. The second our main hyperdrive is fully charged jump to fallback point Charlie.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain.¡±

    The captain looked at the system disy hovering in front of him. All of the cruisers were already gone, ripped apart by salvos of¡­ ugh¡­ <em>Terran</em> missiles. The troop transports were getting engaged now. They had good shields but were woefully under-gunned,pletely dependent on their escorts for protection.

    They were doomed along with everyone on them.

    A wave of (ahem) ¡°armed merchantmen¡± were now leaving Zaran-7¡¯s atmosphere. Those ships were ancient, many of them mothballed from the Sol Wars themselves. Their targets? The woefully under gunned auxiliary transports apanying the troop carriers. Ancient as they may be their armor and weapons were more than a match for those transports.

    The ancient captain spared a moment of pity for those transports. For those on the troop carriers it was going to be quick, nuked into the arms of the creator. For those auxiliary transports, however¡­

    The ck Angels, Los Ni?os, The Long Shanks, and the Dragons awaited.

    ***

    As the drama in space started to unfold, Themander of Zaran¡¯s system defense force, General Gej-Reehe-Kelgja grinned as her crest slowly inted.

    ¡°You old slug,¡± she chuckled as she watched the approaching strike force from hermand center. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you had it in you.¡±

    ¡°What should we do, ma¡¯am?¡± a human major asked cradling a Federation gauss carbine.

    ¡°If they y nice, let them in,¡± she said calmly, ¡°but if they start shooting, light those fucking Feds up.¡± she added with a lopsided Pol-Ka grin.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±

    She chuckled and ced a call to Colonel Xx¡¯vkk.

    The colonel¡¯s odd visage appeared on the screen. She wasn¡¯t an expert in reading his kind but he looked pissed.

    ¡°General, I¡¯m ever so relieved to see you well,¡± the colonel said with a wet snorting sound. ¡°I feared that you had been taken by the rebels!¡±

    ¡°Oh, is that a ¡®rescue mission¡¯ that you¡¯ve sent?¡±

    ¡°Yes, a rescue mission¡­ Let¡¯s go with that.¡±

    ¡°Well, we are perfectly safe over here, as snug as bugs in a rug. You can call off the cavalry, Double-X.¡±

    ¡°Not until I get a few answers,¡± the colonel said twisting his mouthparts into what the locals considered a smile (and he considered somewhat ufortable).

    ¡°Ask, away, Gumby.¡± the general replied.

    ¡°Gumby?¡­ Bah, nevermind¡­ What are you ying at, General?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain I don¡¯t know what you mean, Colonel.¡±

    ¡°Where are your ships? Where are your men? All manner of tomfoolery and shenanigans are taking ce and you are just sitting idly by doing nothing!¡±

    ¡°My concern is the safety of this system and its inhabitants,¡± the general replied. ¡°¡¯Tomfoolery¡¯ doesn¡¯t fall under my mandate. Neither do ¡®shenanigans¡¯. When the miscreants threaten the safety of my people, I¡¯ll get involved. Until then, you are on your own.¡±

    ¡°You have a responsibility to the Fed-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna stop you right there, you fucking pencil topper.¡± the General replied with an ugly smile. ¡°Do you have any idea how many people, good people, I¡¯ve known my entire life that are now lying in-¡±

    ¡°COLONEL!!!¡± someone, a Kreneel, shrieked.

    ¡°Good-bye, Gumby.¡± the General with a wave and a smile as she hung up.

    She nced up at the main screen and winced. She knew it wasing but, Jesus, those poor bastards...

    ¡°Major, start operation ¡®usible Deniability¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ***

    Jaho proudly strode into themand center with a messenger bag full of snacks and soft drinks.

    ¡°I have your-¡± he started to proudly say and then trailed off in confusion. Everyone was just standing there, staring at the glowing wall in shock.

    Some people were weeping openly. He looked up at the wall. He wasn¡¯t entirely sure what all of the glowing words meant but he knew what the letters ¡°FSS¡± meant.

    When there was a sh and then those letters went away¡­ that was pretty clear too!

    He looked over at the colonel. He was just sitting there,pletely silent.

    ¡°T-the <em>Formidable</em> is gone...¡± the nice Kreneeldy said as she was fiddling with herputer thing. ¡°The <em>Protector</em>, the <em>Gant</em>, the <em>Inspiration</em>¡­ All of them¡­¡± she clucked miserably.

    Jaho knew that clucking was them crying.

    ¡°Oh creators!¡± someone else gasped. ¡°They are going for the troop transports! Oh creators! Oh no! NO!¡±

    Jaho watched the screen as one glowy ship after another shed and then disappeared.

    ¡°Seventy-five thousand troops...¡± the colonel muttered holding his head.

    As a horrified silence settled over the room a quiet ¡°thunk¡± could be heard.

    The colonel looked over and saw a messenger bag lying on the ground and caught the tip of an Aat tail disappearing in a blur. He smiled.

    ¡°Creators protect you, Jaho,¡± he said quietly and then stood.

    ¡°Hey!¡± the colonel shouted. ¡°We aren¡¯t dead yet but we will be if we don¡¯t get it in gear, <em>now</em>! Contact the unitmanders! Let them know what has happened and to expectpany! Pull all drones into a perimeter around all strong-points! We aren¡¯t going to let ourselves get caught with our pantaloons about our lower appendages! And, just in case it isn¡¯t perfectly clear, lethal force is authorized for all units! This is now a war zone, people!¡±

    Everyone looked up at him in confusion.

    <strong>¡±MOVE!!!¡±</strong> he bellowed.

    ***

    Jaho sprinted down the corridor looking into each room and janitor¡¯s closet.

    ¡°Federation¡¯s losing! We go! We go now!¡± he shouted at every otherborer he met.

    ¡°But bossman, he-¡±

    ¡°Rut the bossman!¡± Jaho yelled at a fellow Aat. ¡°Endwar! It¡¯s endwar! The humans are killing all the Feds! Run! Endwar! Run!¡±

    The other Aat looked at him for a few seconds, then started to sprint.

    ¡°Ree!¡± he shouted, rushing up to grab her, as he saw her happily pushing her mop and humming a traditional Aat tune. ¡°Ree we go! We go now!¡±

    Ree beamed up at him when he touched her.

    ¡°Hi Jaho!... Eee!¡± she yelped as he started dragging her towards the door.

    ¡°We have to run!¡± he yelled.

    ¡°But I¡¯m working!¡±

    ¡°Endwar!¡± he yelled. ¡°The humans have started endwar! Not safe here! Come with me!¡±

    ¡°With <em>you</em>?¡± Ree asked nervously. ¡°Ok!¡± she eximed cheerfully as Jaho dragged her down the hall.

    <em>My hand!</em> she thought gleefully as she stumbled behind him. <em>He¡¯s holding my hand!</em>

 Chapter The Federation is Just Having a Rather Unpleasant Time... The Federations Bad Day (4)

    Chapter The Federation is Just Having a Rather Unpleasant Time... The Federation''s Bad Day (4)

    Major Jas-Marchal cursed as another ¡°parcel¡± announced itself with a ¡°whizzz¡± as it passed through thepound¡¯s deflector screen followed by a ¡°thunk¡±.

    ¡°Somebody please locate that stoneuncher!¡± He shouted.

    All of Raylesh was ¡°restless¡± today. He had been led to believe, thanks to a wee few days respite, that the promation of martialw had cowed the humans into obedience but today they were back to their old tricks.

    It was as if the impending arrival of the expeditionary force spurred them into one final act of defiance before several hundred thousand troops would descend upon them forever crushing them into submission.

    ¡°whizzz¡±¡­. ¡°THWAP¡±

    He flinched despite himself. That one squarely impacted his armored fieldmand vehicle hard enough to make it shake.

    He turned upon the sensor operator.

    ¡°FIND. IT!¡± he bellowed.

    ¡°I¡¯m trying, Sir,¡± the technician whined. ¡°It¡¯s an assembly of metal, masonry, and wood in a cityprised of metal, masonry, and wood. Based on the trajectory of the projectile I have a good idea where it is but I do not have its exact location,¡± the technician said miserably. ¡°If we could just-¡±

    ¡°whizzz¡±¡­ ¡°THWAP¡±

    ¡°Damn it all!¡± the major shouted.

    ¡°If we could justunch a drone,¡± the technician continued, ¡°I would be able to quickly-¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have any drones left!¡± the major snapped. ¡°Between their snipers and those ursed drone-hunting drones of theirs one of our sensor drones doesn¡¯tst a minute out there! Use the ballistic calctor and give us a target!¡±

    ¡°The program provided to us by the SDF doesn¡¯t seem to be urate enough,¡± the technician replied wincing as he unintentionally said the dreaded acronym.

    ¡°Do you mean the <em>System Defense Force</em>?¡± the major hissed. ¡°Proper nomenture is necessary for any sessful organization. Just because the local defense forces use such bastardized nomenture is no justification for us to-¡±

    ¡°whizz¡±¡­ ¡°splsh¡±

    ¡°Activate chemical filtration!¡± the major yelled (even though the interior was always filtered) as there were shouts outside. ¡°What in the hells was that?!?¡±

    ¡°Ammonia, Sir,¡± the technician replied. The major snarled. Humans had made the discovery that while they most certainly did not like ammonia, they were much more resistant to it than a lot of Federation species. What was irritated eyes and a coughing fit vored with barbaric obscenities for them was a trip to emergency medical services for many others. What¡¯s worse, since it hadmercial and industrial uses on this primitive backwater and wasn¡¯t ¡°sufficiently lethal¡± it could only be ssified as a ¡°nuisance¡± attack instead of the chemical weapon that it absolutely was. He had several men in the hospital thanks to that ¡°nuisance¡±. He had several more that had been permanently reassigned due to damage to their respiratory organs or eyes.

    The major hissed as the yells and screams of his troops as they were donning their protective equipment could be heard through the armor ting. He didn¡¯t like the humans before this posting. Now, he hated them with every fiber of his being. They had the right idea. Let them all go extinct. It couldn¡¯t happen fast enough in his book.

    ¡°Sir, a convoy is approaching,¡± the technician announced. ¡°It¡¯s SD¡­ It¡¯s the System Defense Force, sir¡­ Um...¡± the technician said with a wince. ¡°¡­ It¡¯s <em>Captain Devereux</em>, Sir. She is asking to be let in.¡±

    ¡°As if this day couldn¡¯t get more annoying,¡± the major grumbled. ¡°Let her in. Maybe one of those rocks will hit her.¡±

    The major, wearing a gas mask, exited his vehicle and approached the two ground transports that pulled into hispound. He sneered at them under his mask. Wheels. Their System Defense Force used wheeled vehicles with mechanical drivetrains, the primitives.

    Captain Devereux hopped out of the lead ¡°five-ton¡±. The major disliked the name. It was nowhere near specific enough for a military vehicle, even a support transport like those primitive things. He disliked Captain Devereux even more. It was if all the negative stereotypes pertaining to humans had been distilled down into an extract and then poured into a pair of boots. She was crass. She was boorish. She was vile. Everything she said and did screamed ¡°human¡±.

    ¡°Phew!¡± she said holding her nose and saluting. ¡°What is that smell?¡±

    ¡°You know perfectly well what it is, <em>Captain</em>,¡± he said with great annoyance as he returned her salute. At least she saluted this time. Normally she didn¡¯t. When he confronted her about it she would always say it was because they were in the ¡°field¡±. Maybe the approaching fleet was making them at least try to appear the slightest bit professional before they found themselves just directing traffic and hauling supplies in their archaic transports.

    There was something shiny on her uniform. That was unusual. Normally their uniforms werepletely drab and without any of the adornment that any self-respecting military force would demand. It was as if they took pains to hide any signs of rank or importance. It was very inconvenient. You had little idea who you were dealing with until you were almost close enough to touch them.

    ¡°Have you been promoted?¡± he asked eyeing therge golden pin. It was, like all things human, inherently annoying. It was in the form of a serpent with wings holding a spiral in its teeth. It wasughably inurate. No creature could exist with those physical traits. Even if it did exist flight would be impossible. It was no doubt another of their fanciful creations.

    ¡°Nah,¡± she snorted. ¡°Oh you mean this,¡± she said fondly stroking the pin. ¡°It¡¯s just a little something I put on for today. It¡¯s the wyrm!¡±

    ¡°A worm?¡± the major asked with annoyance. ¡°It bears no resemnce to-¡±

    ¡°Not a worm, a <em>wyrm</em>!¡± she eximed as strangely dressed people climbed out of the transports. ¡°It¡¯s a tribal emblem. I¡¯m a member of the Dragons! I just wanted to be sure people knew that today, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t aware that such things were allowed on military uniforms, Captain,¡± he said with great disapproval.

    ¡°Not officially,¡± she said with a big smile revealing a golden canine tooth, something that he absolutely detested. Why would they do that? Don¡¯t they have appropriately hued dental imnts? She no doubt lost her natural tooth due to poor hygiene or some drunken brawl, no doubt. ¡°I just felt like showing a little tribal pride today!¡± she eximed.

    The major made a disapproving snort. He would definitely be informing her superiors, for all the good that would do. He finally looked at the people who were forming up behind her. If her pin and gold tooth were annoying it was nothingpared to the others.

    They weren¡¯t wearing anything close to a regtion uniform! They were wearing long white garments with arge violet cross on the front¡­

    And was that <em>power armor</em>? That was absolutely not allowed for system defense forces, especially human ones! Their charter was quite clear! Human power armor was absolutely forbidden!

    ¡°Who are they?¡± the major demanded.

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry about them,¡± the captain smiled. ¡°I¡¯m just showing the new guys around.¡±

    ¡°Oh worry about them I shall!¡± the major eximed. ¡°That is undoubtedly power armor! That is against your charter! I will inform the Federation of this!¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± the captain grinned. ¡°We don¡¯t have power armor in the SDF.¡±

    ¡°Do you dare lie to my face?¡± the major asked bing more angry by the second. ¡°That is clearly-¡±

    ¡°Oh those guys? They aren¡¯t SDF,¡± the captain replied.

    ¡°Then who are they?¡±

    ¡°They are the Chos¡­ Oops, sorry,¡± she grinned. ¡°They are the <em>Penitent</em>, a civilian religious order who have graciously offered to help out today!¡±

    ¡°They must be disarmed at once!¡± the major eximed. ¡°Dangerous equipment like that should not be in the hands of civilians! And those weapons! Those are clearly military ordnance!¡±

    ¡°Rx, dude,¡± the captain said with a patronizingugh, ¡°There isn¡¯t a single thing in this¡¯sw books prohibiting civilians from owning power armor, Major, and the weapons are just for religious purposes. That¡¯s old Earth-tech bullshit. They have received special permission to lug around that old obsolete crap for religious reasons. Feel free to check if you want, not that the old stuff poses that much of a threat to a <em>modern</em> Federation security force. Your average Fed trooper packs more firepower, <em>I promise.¡±</em>

    ¡°Oh I will!¡± the major eximed with great annoyance and then paused for a moment. ¡°Wait. What, exactly, are you doing here in the first ce?¡±

    ¡°Oh I am embedded with these <em>lovely people</em> and we were out distributing meals and religious pamphlets when we received orders to seek shelter since the invasion fleet is about to jump in. We figured since this was a majormunications center and supply depot that we would be safe here.¡±

    ¡°You mean the <em>Federation Expeditionary Force</em> that has been sent to restore order to this creators abandoned system?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, the <em>invasion fleet</em>,¡± she grinned.

    The major snarled but refused toment further. It was clear that the captain was baiting him. It was one more thing he was going to add to a long and very strongly worded email to hermander.

    ¡°Well, just stay out of the way,¡± he grumbled and returned to hismand vehicle.

    ¡°I cannot believe that this actually worked,¡± one of the Penitent said quietly to Captain Devereux.

    ¡°Chain,¡± the captain snickered, ¡°One thing about the Federation is that they just love their goddamn... (sorry)... lists. The Penitent, thanks to your friends on the SDF, just happen to be on the ¡®good guy¡¯ list. He¡¯ll check the list, grumble, and then go right back to pulling his pud. Go ahead and take your positions. You will be able to get your Deus Vult on in just a few.¡±

    ¡°And you shall behold the cleansing power of THE LORD, you filthy Void worshiping heathen,¡± the chain said with a chuckle, gentlyying his armored hand on Captain Devereux shoulder.

    ¡°Looking forward to it you fucking nutcase,¡± the captain said grinning back at him.

    ***

    The Major stormed into hismand vehicle and fired up his data interface. It was as the foul captain said. The Penitent were a monastic order devoted to charity and the protection of the innocent and fully cleared by the SDF to operate under their mandate as an ¡°approved auxiliary force¡±.

    The Major curled his mouthparts in distaste. That sounded like a private militia, something that was <em>clearly</em> not allowed. He decided to forgo the usual email.

    ¡°Technician!¡± he snapped. ¡°Get me in touch with SDFmand!¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir¡­ Um, sir, I can¡¯t seem to get through.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean you can¡¯t get through?¡±

    ¡°All frequencies seem to be jammed,¡± he said bracing for an outburst from the major. ¡°It seems to be some sort of music.¡±

    ¡°Well try the secondary channels!¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ they are jammed as well, sir.¡±

    ¡°Technician,¡± the major said with annoyance. ¡°Your tendency to use the phrase ¡®um¡¯ with every breath is very vexing and horribly inefficient. Simply convey the necessary information and then fall silent.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Sorry, sir,¡± the technician winced. ¡°I will do that, sir.¡±

    ¡°See that you do,¡± the major replied. ¡°What about electromaicmunication, the emergencymunications protocols?¡±

    ¡°U-¡­ they have those jammed as well. Every signal frequency, modtion, or protocol that we have is currently engaged with high-powered transmissions. I can¡¯t get through!¡±

    ¡°Humans...¡± the major snarled. ¡°They simply must be troublesome to the end. No matter, once the fleet arrives we-¡±

    The door to his vehicle opened and Captain Devereux stepped in.

    ¡°Ooo!¡± she eximed. ¡°Very nice! I¡¯m going to love having one of these!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t recall admitting you into mymand post,¡± the major said with disdain.

    ¡°It smells like Mr. Clean jerked off out there,¡± she replied plopping down in a chair next to the major. ¡°Your guards let me in,¡± she said thumbing the rank on her cor. ¡°I love you Feds! So obedient!¡±

    ¡°I will make a point to properly brief my guardsmen,¡± the major said in annoyance. ¡°Since you are here you can have the privilege of watching order return to your system,¡± the major said haughtily as he activated his holo disy.

    The screen was dead.

    The captain just snickered.

    The major could feel his pulse throbbing in his secondary blood vessels.

    ¡°Technician!¡±

    ¡°Um (sorry) sir, as I have said before all frequencies have been jammed. That includes-¡±

    ¡°Well fix it!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t...¡± the technician trailed off under the withering stare of the major. ¡°Yes, sir,¡± he said miserably. ¡°I¡¯m working on it.¡±

    ¡°Maybe I can help!¡± the captain said whipping out her tablet. ¡°Here,¡± she said as she tapped an icon and the system-wide tactical disy popped up.

    ¡°How?¡± the major spluttered.

    ¡°Oh, we have a little experience dealing with this shit,¡± she chuckled. ¡°Every two-bit thug has a signal jammer over here.¡±

    The major just hissed. Getting one upped by that poor excuse for an officer was just one more indignity the day had inflicted upon him!

    ¡°Oh! Here theye!¡± the captain said brightly as she idly disengaged thetch on her holster. The major, transfixed by the fleet jumping into the system didn¡¯t notice.

    ¡°Damn!¡± the captain said brightly. ¡°That¡¯s a <em>lot</em> of ships!¡±

    The screen started pulsing rhythmically in a series of long and short pulses. Then, it paused and a few momentster, it started shing again.

    ¡°What¡¯s that shing?¡± the major asked.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just some interference from all that jamming that¡¯s going on. Don¡¯t worry about it.¡±

    The major was slightly gratified that at least they were having some difficulties. It made the failure of his equipment slightly less painful.

    ¡°Wow!¡± the captain eximed. ¡°Four battleships! You guys went all out!¡±

    ¡°It was determined that overwhelming force was called for,¡± the major said smugly as the captain casuallyid her hand on her pistol. ¡°Even you troublesome humans won¡¯t be able to withstand the full force of-¡±

    ¡°Ooo!¡± the captain eximed cutting him off. ¡°You want to see this!¡± she eximed snatching the tablet and changing the channel.

    An image of Jessica Morgan appeared on the screen¡­

    ¡°Of all the insanity!¡± the major spluttered after her address. ¡°She actually intends to fight? It will beplete and total defeat, a massacre!¡±

    ¡°You got that right,¡± the captain said smoothly drawing her pistol.

    The major¡¯s mouth widened in mute stunned surprise as he looked down the barrel of the captain¡¯s gauss needler.

    <em>Zzipzip¡­ Zzipzipzipzipzip¡­ Zipzipzip</em>

    The captain calmly and efficiently fired bursts of gauss flechettes into the heads of all of the vehicle¡¯s upants before they could even react.

    The captain pushed the major¡¯s body onto the floor and eased herself into themand chair of <em>her</em> newmand vehicle as explosions and screams rocked thepound. She switched to the external cameras.

    ¡°Daaamnnn...¡± she grinned. ¡°Deus motherfucking Vult!¡±

    ***

    In Capital City police Captain Josiah Lossburg stepped out of a mobile tactical center at the edge of the barricades now surrounding thergest of the human enves.

    He was immediately mobbed by a throng of riot-gear d officers.

    ¡°Where are the troops?¡± one of them yelled.

    Captain Lossburg, one of the few humans remaining on the force at this point, took a deep breath.

    ¡°Guys, the invasion of the human district has been put on hold for now.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± someone yelled. ¡°They are just going to leave us to those fucking porkies?¡±

    ¡°I know you are just a little stressed so this <em>fucking porkie</em>,¡± the captain said pointing at himself, ¡°is going to let that one slide this time. Nobody is getting left to anyone. It¡¯s just that after what has happened elsewhere it has been decided that just marching into human held areas isn¡¯t exactly a good idea, and I happen to agree! We don¡¯t want what¡¯s happened on Raylesh, Zaran or any of a dozen other ces re-enacted on our city¡¯s streets do we?¡±

    ¡°So what in the ck abyss are we supposed to do?¡± another police officer yelled.

    ¡°We stick to the n,¡± the captain replied. ¡°We man the barricades. We turn away all traffic until the area is confirmed safe. If anyone from inside approaches, we disarm them, scan them, and then either transport them to a diseased or an unexposed containment area, just like we were briefed.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re just going to let them run riot in there?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the captain replied with a sigh. ¡°That¡¯s exactly what we are going to do. As far as the city is concerned this barricade is the town limits. Our jurisdiction ends here until those neighborhoods are made safe again and that¡¯s going to take Federation ground forces, not cops. Personally, I think we got the better end of the deal for once. If you don¡¯t like it I¡¯m sure that you will be able to find a trooper that would love to trade ces with you.¡±

    ¡°So the Feds are just hiding like a bunch of nursing pups?¡± another officer demanded.

    ¡°No, the Feds are being smart for once,¡± the captain replied with a sigh. ¡°All of our cameras and sensor posts were ripped downst night and we can¡¯t keep a drone in the air for more than a few seconds before something takes it out but we have seen weaponry of all sorts including <em>Terran military hardware</em> moving around in there. Heavy weapons have been spotted, stuff powerful enough to take down a fucking grav-tank. And they do have <em>nukes</em> people! Nukes were used in Raylesh and Zaran as well as in several other systems today. What if they have some of those warheads on the ground, hmm? No. Nobody¡¯s going in there until the whole fucking is swept for hidden warheads and we get some solid intel from orbit.¡±

    ¡°So we just stand here with targets on our rectums?¡±

    ¡°If their strategy holds they are only interested in the Feds. They seem to be leaving cops alone if we let them. They aren¡¯t going to reveal a firing position to shoot a cop¡­ probably. Reinforced ting is on the way. Just stay behind it and keep your heads down. They say we will be relieved by Fed forces by the end of the day¡­ hopefully.¡±

    ¡°You think that¡¯s actually going to happen?¡±

    ¡°(Sigh) Does it really matter what I think?¡± the captain replied wearily. ¡°It won¡¯t change the taste of the shit sandwich one bit. Just¡­ just keep your heads down, do your jobs, and help the citizens if you can. That¡¯s all we can do right now.¡±

    ¡°This sucks!¡± someone shouted.

    ¡°A very sound tactical assessment,¡± the captain chuckled. ¡°but look on the bright side. They aren¡¯t sending us in there! Now go and relieve the other poor fuckers stuck with this bullshit¡­ and good luck.¡±

    They cursed and they grumbled but they manned their positions, the captain observed with pride. They were good men and women. He just hoped that they would all be there by this evening.

    ***

    ¡°Hey!¡± the colonel shouted to everyone in the Zaran Emergency Command Center, ¡°Snap out of it! We are about to have hell itself descend upon us and we are all DEAD if you don¡¯t all pull your heads out of your asses!¡±

    Everyone just looked at him in a stunned haze.

    ¡°You!¡± he shouted at the Kreneel sensor operator. ¡°Get me a report! Something besides ¡®they are all gone¡¯! Someone has to have survived! Escape pods if nothing else! Find them!...¡±

    The Kreneel just looked at him, shaking.

    ¡°I SAID MOVE!!!¡± he shouted.

    ¡°Y-yes sir!¡± she stammered and returned to her station.

    ¡°Communications! Get me in touch with our fieldmanders!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t¡± another officer said miserably. ¡°All frequencies are jammed. Ourmunications procedures-¡±

    ¡°THEN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT!¡± he yelled. ¡°Fucking think! You have a brain! Use it!¡±

    He turned to address the whole room.

    ¡°We have to stop following fucking procedures! They know our procedures! That¡¯s been their greatest weapon so far!¡± he yelled. ¡°Stop being FEDS and start being SMART! We have over a thousand people depending on us! THINK! They WILL being for us and I will be DAMMED if I just sit here and let them wipe us out without a fight! We have billions of years of evolution in this room! Stop being Feds and start being <em>animals</em>!¡±

    ¡°Drones!¡± a Reeln shouted. ¡°We use the drones!¡±

    ¡°What? How?¡± someone else demanded.

    ¡°In our ancient history we would use trained venn to carry messages! We would attach a small pouch to them and they would fly from location to location! We do the same thing but with the drones! We have a few here in the shop! We load messages into them and then program them to fly to our troops!¡± he yelled excitedly.

    ¡°Do it!¡± the colonel eximed. ¡°I¡¯ll prepare the orders. Get them ready to fly!¡±

    ¡°Yes sir!¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± a normally quiet technician piped up. ¡°Call IT! I remember there is something ¡®weird¡¯ about how this¡¯s inte is done¡­ something about ss wires or something!¡±

    ¡°ss wires?¡± someone else asked. ¡°How does that even work?¡±

    ¡°I have no clue!¡± the technician eximed, ¡°That weird guy in IT, you know the one, he knows all about it! I went on a date with him one time and-¡±

    ¡°You went on a date with him?!?¡±

    ¡°Exactly how many males of my species have you seen on this, Xora? Anyway, it was all he talked about¡­ <em>the whole time</em>! Call him!¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you call him? You were the one who went on a date with him!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m NOT calling him! You call him!...¡±

    As the colonel started typing a realization dawned upon him.

    <em>The general wasn¡¯t surprised when they attacked,</em> he thought with a chill. <em>and when she hung up she said ¡°goodbye¡±. She has never used that phrase before¡­ Does it have some significance other than a standard verbal courtesy?</em>

    <em>She is involved. Somehow she is involved in all this.</em>

    He shook himself to clear his head and focused on the orders he was sending to his forces. He had to get his forces ready as best as he could. He quickly finished his statement to hismanders and then rose.

    <em>If Zaran system defense is part of this then we are truly alone, a thousand men against the focused rage of an entire. We are doomed.</em>

    ¡°My orders are on this crystal,¡± he said cing a data crystal on his desk. ¡°I am going to my office for a few minutes.¡± he shouted as he rushed from the room.

    ***

    General Gej-Reehe-Kelgja,mander of the Zaran System Defense Force watched her still functional disys with a pained expression on her face.

    It was a nightmare. There was no other word to describe it. Tens of thousands of people¡­ gone.

    And now they were boarding the transports...

    Wincing, she switched off the audio feeds. She just didn¡¯t want to hear any more screaming. Yeah, the Feds were the ¡°enemy¡±¡­ sort of... but damn... She closed her eyes and reminded herself that her primary responsibility was to the Zaran system and to her men. Those Feds? They decided to ¡°invade¡±. They could have just backed off. She and the rest of the system government could have managed the situation but no.

    They just had to ¡°send a clear signal to other potential dissidents.¡± Well, dude, consider that message <em>sent</em>.

    She opened her eyes and immediately regretted it.

    ¡°Goddammit!¡± she shouted, ¡°You agreed not to go after the escape pods! You fucking promised!¡± she yelled as she watched one pod after another disappear from the screen. It was a goddamn shooting gallery!

    She mmed her fist onto her desk. Using escape pods for target practice? Torture, murder, and gods knows what else on the transports?

    <em>Fucking animals!</em>, she thought bitterly to herself. She checked theary feeds. At least they were holding true to their word down here. No wholesale ughter of non-humans¡­

    And the pol-ka werepletely unharmed, just as they agreed. She looked over at the stream of carefully scripted transmissions that they were sending back and forth. It was a simple enough deception. With the Federationpletely wiped out what could she do but try to protect her positions and the helpless civilians of the?

    They were caughtpletely by surprise, just like everyone else, right? As far as the bulk of the System Defense Force knew, that¡¯s exactly what happened. Only a few of them knew that they had cut a deal, their neutrality and some assistance moving troops and materials around the system undetected in exchange for their survival.

    What else could they do? Besides, she agreed with the Devil one hundred percent¡­ or she thought she did until she saw what they were doing up there... What was going on in those transports... She never did quite believe the stories. She thought that they were exaggerating, you know, ying up the whole ¡°savage human¡± bit¡­

    Nope¡­ Every one of those stories was ying out this very moment, not that it would ever see the light of day. The news crews were down on the surface watching them hand out scanners and medical supplies with little fucking halos on their heads, not up on those transports where¡­ Jesus¡­

    <em>And you helped them</em>, shed unbidden across her mind. She squeezed her ping-pong ball eyes closed and turned away from the feed.

    <em>What else could I have done? Die, nobly? I had to look after my system, my civilians, and my troops. It¡¯s the only thing I could have done. I had to do this, right?</em>

    ¡°Excuse me, General,¡± her aide announced as he opened the door. ¡°Themander of the Federation Response Force is on the line. He says it¡¯s urgent.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± she said in confusion. That shouldn¡¯t be possible. ¡°Put him through.¡±

    The colonel¡¯s face appeared on her screen.

    ¡°How the hell are you getting through the jamming?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Not everyone on the Federation payroll is an idiot,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°As it turns out a lot of the¡¯s surfacemunications are via a very strange, quite archaic butpletely signal-proof fiber-opticwork, but I don¡¯t have to tell you that, do I?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure what you are implying but themunicationswork of this is far from ssified, colonel.¡±

    ¡°You cut a deal with the humans, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Colonel!¡± the general said with as much outrage as she could muster. ¡°How dare you! I-¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t me you,¡± the colonel continued. ¡°In fact, I would have done the exact same thing in your position. There was no other move you could make. The system will need its defense forces intact after all of this in order to protect its civilian poption. You fall and anarchy follows. Besides, we made our bed didn¡¯t we? Did I get that right? ¡®Made our bed¡¯ is a saying, yes?¡±

    ¡°What do you want, Colonel,¡± the general said with a weary voice. ¡°I doubt you called just to level unfounded allegations.¡±

    ¡°I want you to get me in touch with the General,¡± the colonel replied.

    ¡°You¡¯re talking to her,¡± she replied.

    ¡°You know who I¡¯m talking about, ¡®The Devil of Sol¡¯, that general.¡±

    ¡°And just what makes you think I know how to do that?¡± the general replied. ¡°I don¡¯t make it a habit to have terrorists on speed-dial.¡±

    ¡°We are all going to die aren¡¯t we?¡± the colonel said quietly.

    General Gej-Reehe-Kelgja¡¯s face twitched.

    ¡°We are going to die and it¡¯s not going to be pretty, is it?¡± the colonel continued. ¡°I am doing what I can and my troops are standing ready but it¡¯s all for nothing, isn¡¯t it? They are going to sweep over us like drill mites, leaving nothing but our bones. I can¡¯t say this to my men but I will level with you,mander tomander, we are doomed. There is absolutely no way we can win. No, there is absolutely no way we can survive. They will kill us to the man. One thousand men, that¡¯s what I have under me, at least I hope I still do. They are just kids, Reehe¡­ kids¡­ Please¡­ Get me in touch with her.¡±

    The general just looked at him for a moment and then sighed.

    ¡°Fuck it,¡± she muttered. ¡°Look, I haven¡¯t made a deal, alright?¡±

    ¡°Whatever you say,¡± the colonel replied.

    ¡°But¡­ I <em>might</em> have some intel¡­ Intel that we didn¡¯t necessarily share¡­ I¡¯m sending you a file with a phone number on it. They might hang up on you. They mightugh in your face. But, maybe, they can get you in touch with who you want to get in touch with.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, general.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking thank me! I didn¡¯t send you a goddamn thing! This conversation never happened!¡±

    She terminated the call.

    ¡°Well there goes my usible deniability...¡± she muttered.

    ***

    Colonel Kale Reese, formerly of the United States Army and General Morgan¡¯s appointedmander for the Zaran operation sat in a hiddenmand bunker on the surface of Zaran-7 along with a dozen other individuals reviewing thetest reports from the system and on the surface. So far things were going ording to n.

    It was going almost too well. Then again, they hadn¡¯t started the final assault on the Feds yet. Once they wrapped up all of the boarding actions they were going to pull the old conventionally armed gunships back to the and use them to soften up those Fed positions before they went in for the kill.

    Even so, there was nothing worse than a cornered rat, and they somehow managed to set up some decent defensive positions despite knocking out theirmunications. Even with gunships floating overhead, it was going to be a fight to dig them out.

    Suddenly, his personalmunicator rang.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± he muttered as he answered it.

    His eyes widened as he saw who was on the other end of the call.

    ¡°Hello, my name is Colonel Xx¡¯vkk,mander of the remaining Federation forces on Zaran-7. I wish to negotiate our surrender.¡±

 Chapter The Curse of the Fairies and Commanders do Command Stuff: The Federations Bad Day (5)

    Chapter The Curse of the Fairies and Commanders do Command Stuff: The Federation''s Bad Day (5)

    Jaho, with Ree happily in tow, rushed into theborer¡¯s breakroom on his way out to make sure that there were no stragglers.

    ¡°Hey!¡± he shouted at the three contract workers sitting there, ¡°You need to run! The humans killed the Feds! They areing! Endwar! Run! Run!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± a shabby morglin asked.

    ¡°The fleet! The humans killed the fleet! All of it!¡±

    ¡°No shit?¡±

    ¡°No shit! No shit at all! All shit gone! So are we!¡± Jaho yelled and then dragged Ree down the corridor towards the exit.

    ¡°Hey!¡± the Vulxeen level three shouted at Jaho as he rushed up. ¡°Are you the one who is spreading panic among the workers?¡±

    Jaho started to rush past him when the vulxeen grabbed his shoulder.

    ¡°Hey! I¡¯m talking to-¡±

    <em>Hissss¡­ SNAP</em>

    ¡°Aaaaaaa!¡± the Vulxeen screeched grasping his now bleeding arm ¡°That¡¯s assault, you <em>animal</em>¡± he yelled after Jaho.

    Ree looked back, smiled proudly, and gave him a human ¡°one finger salute¡± with her free hand as they fled.

    ***

    Jaho ran outside and past the gate, then stopped in disbelief. There, all of them gathered around the bus stop, were the workers.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± he yelled in their native tongue as he ran up.

    ¡°Waiting for bus, dummy,¡± one of the Aat replied.

    ¡°No wait! You go! Run!¡± Jaho yelled.

    ¡°But we take bus home.¡±

    ¡°The bus won¡¯te, dummy!¡±

    ¡°No it will, dumber!¡±

    ¡°You stupid?¡± Jaho snapped. ¡°Think! Endwar! Is bus driver going toe here or go to his kin?¡±

    Jaho waited impatiently as the light ofprehension slowly started to shine in the Aat¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°But how we go home?¡± the aat asked.

    ¡°Use map!¡±

    One of the Aat pulled out their phone.

    ¡°Map thingy broke!¡±

    Jaho sighed in exasperation.

    ¡°Back home we no use map thingy!¡± he said trying to be patient. ¡°We use map! No map thingy back home. Use map! Look!¡± he eximed as he grabbed the phone. ¡°We here!¡± he said scrolling over to themand center. ¡°See! Now this bus route!¡± He said as a blue line appeared on the map. ¡°Just follow line you star-soft dumb dumb!¡±

    ¡°Me no star-soft, butt licker!¡±

    ¡°Then don¡¯t be star-soft you butt butt!¡± Jaho yelled. ¡°Split up! Small groups! Follow line! Stay off main road!¡±

    Then Jaho ran down the street with Ree sprinting along behind him.

    ¡°I¡¯m not star-soft,¡± the Aat grumbled. ¡°You star-soft...¡±

    The Aat then looked at the map and then up at the sun and then down at the shadows it cast. ¡°Hmm sun different here¡­ If sun there and we here¡­ Ha! Got it!¡±

    The Aat grabbed two others.

    ¡°You two, with me!¡± he shouted as he started to jog.

    The other Aat started quickly dispersing.

    ***

    Jaho and Ree scurried from alleyway to alleyway. Jaho took a moment to scan the street.

    Nearby gunshots had them both darting back into the alley and diving behind some recycling collection dumpsters.

    ¡°Those <em>Terran</em>.¡± Jaho whispered in surprise. ¡°Are the <em>Terrans</em> here too?¡±

    ¡°<em>Terrans?</em>¡± Ree asked in terror.

    ¡°No...¡± Jaho muttered to himself. ¡°Just guns. Badmen sell them to anyone. That what happened to fleet! They bought tubes!¡±

    ¡°How¡­ How do you know?¡± Ree asked in confused awe.

    ¡°Uh¡­ Just me talking dumb stuff. Just guess,¡± he said with a shrug and a tiny little wince.

    A loud explosion could be hearding from the direction of themand center shortly followed by another.

    ¡°Mortars!¡± Jaho shouted. ¡°No more run! We hide now!¡± he said as he slid open the metal door of one of the dumpsters. ¡°In here! Now!¡±

    He shoved Ree into the dumpster and dove in behind her, pulling the door closed behind him.

    ***

    Jessica Morgan nced over at the multiple strategic disys on the monitors in her war-room with a wicked smile.

    ¡°Nice...¡± she purred.

    It was¡­ perfection¡­ The Feds were ughtered in all major engagement areas and all holy hell was breaking loose in virtually every other single human enve. The influx of (ugh) Terran arms had them outnumbering and outgunning localw enforcement and even the SDF of most areas,pletely unused to a real fight, were inplete disarray¡­

    And every rifle dropped by the foe added one morebatant. They were actually experiencing gains, not losses. They were going toplete this first engagement with more forces than what they started with.

    Even if they were mostly untrained irregr troops, they wouldn¡¯t be for long. She called it a win.

    General Archer appeared on a monitor.

    ¡°Devil!¡± he eximed with a respectful nod. ¡°The SDF has secured all main targets here on Raylesh. We still have cleanup to do but the is ours!¡±

    ¡°Excellent, Wardog¡­ Sorry. I mean <em>General</em>,¡± Jessica said saluting him with her mug of tea. ¡°And their arms and supplies?¡±

    ¡°Captured with very few losses,¡± he replied. ¡°It¡¯s going to take a few days to pick up all the rifles, though,¡± he said with a grin.

    ¡°And the (ahem) Penitent?¡±

    ¡°I fucking love those guys!¡± the generalughed. ¡°I had no idea those old suits can fly. We have flying nuns all over the fucking ce!¡±

    ¡°Yes, many of the old suits had reactionless thrusters,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°It pissed us off to no end when Salvatore and the rest of that eurotrash nabbed them. Can you imagine if we had managed to capture them back in the day? Sol could have been ours!¡±

    ¡°Oh well we have them with us now!¡± the General replied. ¡°They are fucking brutal¡­ and those swords! They can hack through an APC!¡±

    ¡°Fantastic!¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Keep an eye on them though and make sure you have¡­ ¡®solutions¡¯ in ce should they prove troublesome.¡±

    ¡°Will do!¡± the general said smartly. ¡°Oh, I meant to ask. What do we do with the Feds we capture?¡±

    ¡°Well, whatever you want, General,¡± Jessica said with a cold gleam in her eyes. ¡°I have little use for them.¡±

    ¡°Heh-heh¡­ Do you want to ¡®ce an order¡¯? I understand that the Kreneel in particr are-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll pass,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°Now if youe across any ribeyes...<em>beef</em> ribeyes...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep an eye out! Later!¡±

    ¡°Later, General,¡± Jessica said as his image disappeared.

    Colonel Reese appeared on another monitor.

    ¡°Colonel!¡± Jessica said brightly. ¡°How are things in Zaran?¡±

    ¡°Going almost too well, ma¡¯am,¡± he replied. ¡°The SDF is abiding by our agreement. They have assumed defensive positions protecting high-value civilian targets and that¡¯s it. We own the streets.¡±

    ¡°What about the Feds?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m calling, ma¡¯am,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°I was just contacted, on my personal phone no less, by theirmander.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°He wishes to surrender.¡±

    ¡°Well that¡¯s certainly convenient,¡± she said sipping her tea. ¡°That¡¯s what? A thousand troopers along with an armored column and aircraft?¡±

    ¡°That have assumed some very good defensive positions,¡± the colonel said. ¡°Somehow he has managed to effectivelymand despite disruption of all channels.¡±

    ¡°Impressive,¡± Jessica replied.

    ¡°Naturally I will ept the surrender,¡± the colonel replied ¡°but...¡±

    ¡°Ah, yes,¡± Jessica smiled, ¡°the thousand man question...¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± the colonel replied.

    ¡°Your thoughts?¡±

    ¡°I want to actually honor the terms of their surrender.¡±

    ¡°Of course you would,¡± Jessica grinned malevolently. ¡°It just so happens that I agreepletely.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t look so surprised, Colonel,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°A massacre would be more trouble than it would be worth, be surprisingly difficult to actually implement with no casualties, and just in look bad. Raylesh is one thing. Here, we wish to send a certain message. Zaran is apletely different matter. We have independent Federation news crews and their SDFmander is teetering on the edge as it is. She¡¯s already bitching about our guys engaging in a little impromptu ¡®target practice¡¯. We ughter those Feds and we risk losing her. That would be quite inconvenient.¡±

    The colonel looked very relieved. He hade to respect theirmander a great deal in the short time he had dealt with him. He was a good ¡°man¡±.

    ¡°We will seize their equipment, supplies and arms and then turn them over to the SDF,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Let the good general feed and shelter them. Now I just have to go rein in some assholes who have decided to start lobbing shells at them¡­ Fucking irregrs...¡±

    ¡°I will leave it to you then,¡± Jessica said with a wave of her mug.

    The colonel chuckled.

    ¡°I¡¯m still having to get used to you without a crystal goblet in your hand and powder on your nose, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m still having to get used to actually having to do this bullshit again,¡± Jessicaughed.

    ***

    Ree squealed and gripped Jaho tight as they huddled among a pile of stic bottles as explosion after explosion rocked the area.

    Jaho just petted her reassuringly as he twitched his whiskers in disapproval. Those mortar crews weren¡¯t very good. They were all over the ce.

    He hoped that they were far enough away that one wouldn¡¯t hit them by ident.

    Ree started softly crying.

    ¡°Hey¡­ hey¡­ is ok...¡± he said quietly as he stroked her fur and held her. ¡°Is ok...¡±

    ¡°Those damn fairies,¡± she quietly sobbed. ¡°Those damn damn fairies. They got me.¡±

    ¡°What you mean?¡± Jaho asked hoping to distract her.

    Another shell detonated entirely too close. Ree squealed and buried her face in his jumpsuit.

    <em>They are getting closer,</em> Jaho thought. <em>Are they targeting something besides themand building? Fairy piss! Are we about to be in the middle of a firefight?</em>

    ¡°The fairies promised if I flew to the stars I would find someone special,¡± Ree wept. ¡°The bones said so! They promised!¡±

    ¡°Well you are in the stars,¡± Jaho replied, ¡°maybe you will.¡±

    ¡°No, that¡¯s the fairy curse!¡± she moaned, ¡°I did! I found someone special! I found someone so super special!¡±

    ¡°Well that¡¯s great!¡± Jaho said happily.

    Another explosion shook the wall of the dumpster. Jaho ¡°swallowed¡± his fear just as he was taught andforted Ree as she squealed in terror.

    Automatic Terran gunfire rang out entirely too close. Yep, something was definitely up.

    ¡°No! It¡¯s fairy curse!¡± Ree sobbed. ¡°I found him but he doesn¡¯t like me! He doesn¡¯t even know I exist!¡±

    ¡°Well he¡¯s just a big dummy.¡± Jaho said as heforted her.

    ¡°And now I¡¯m gonna die,¡± Ree wept. ¡°The fairies let me find him and now they are going to kill me.¡±

    ¡°Hey¡­¡± Jaho said as he nuzzled her. ¡°We aren¡¯t dead yet.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not a dummy!¡± Ree sobbed. ¡°They are getting closer! I¡¯m gonna die¡­ unloved¡­ untouched...¡±

    She took a deep breath and looked Jaho in the eyes.

    ¡°<em>I don¡¯t want to die a virgin.</em>¡± she said meaningfully.

    <em>...oh...OH!</em> Jaho thought as an electric thrill washed over him.

    ¡°I...¡± Jaho said letting fear creep into his voice for the first time, ¡°I don¡¯t want to die a virgin either.¡±

    Ree started to unzip her jumpsuit¡­

    ¡°I win, you damn fairies,¡± she said with a smile.

    ***

    ¡°¡­ and then he bit me!¡± the Vulxeen eximed as he confronted the colonel in his office.

    ¡°Oh, really,¡± the colonel said as he rose from his desk. ¡°Let me see.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s right here! See-¡±

    <strong>THWACK</strong>

    The colonelshed out with one of his appendages knocking the Vulxeen t.

    ¡°You barge in here over this bullshit?¡± the colonel yelled. ¡°Do you have ANY idea what is going on? Can you not hear the shells? Get out! OUT!!!¡± he shouted.

    ¡°The Vulxeen liaison is going to hear about this!¡± the Vulxeen whimpered.

    ¡°The fleet has beenpletely destroyed!¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡±

    ¡°The fleet has been destroyed and the humans control the streets!¡± the colonel yelled. ¡°Considering your precious liaison decided to take one of his three hour lunches and hasn¡¯t returned he is probably on a fucking spit with one of their apples in his mouth as we speak! Get out and close the door behind you!¡±

    ¡°Aaaaaaaa!¡± the Vulxeen screamed as he ran, leaving the door wide open.

    ¡°Hey! No spreading panic, asshole!¡± the colonel yelled as he mmed his door.

    He smiled for the first time that day. He had been wanting to punch a Vulxeen ever since he got here.

    His personal phone rang. He dashed back to his desk.

    ¡°Yes?¡± he asked desperately as he answered.

    ¡°Colonel Xx¡¯vkk,¡± Colonel Reese calmly said, ¡°We intend to avenge every single human that dies as a result of the Federation¡¯s treachery, every single one. However, due to the particr circumstances of this situation your men have been spared. The Forsaken ept the terms of your surrender.¡±

    ¡°Thank the creator!¡±

    Colonel Reese smiled at him.

    ¡°I have no desire to fight a thousand troopers to the death if I don¡¯t have to. There are some independent forces that have taken it upon themselves to attack your positions.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I noticed.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you have. Once we have reined them in I will contact you with a schedule. Until then as long as your troops do not go on the offensive they will not be attacked by forces under mymand. If anyone is attacking you they aren¡¯t mine and they will be¡­ discouraged... from engaging in further hostilities effective immediately. While I am not in direct contact with nor have any influence over Zaran¡¯s SDF I am confident that they will be willing to protect and support your forces until such time as they can be evacuated.¡±

    ¡°How nice of them,¡± Colonel Xx¡¯vkk replied with a snort.

    ¡°We will cease signal jamming effective immediately so that you can properlymand your troops.¡±

    ¡°Awfully human of you.¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± Colonel Reese snickered. ¡°For the record, Colonel, I¡¯m d we could work something out. I dislike needless ughter.¡±

    ¡°Creators,¡± Colonel Xx¡¯vkk snorted, ¡°If you don¡¯t consider what has doubtlessly happened across the Federation today ¡®needless ughter¡¯ I hope I never find out what meets your definition of the term.¡±

    ¡°Before all of this is over you will.¡±

    ***

    Three humans draped in smuggler¡¯s quietly entered an alleyway.

    Their leader, an older man, holding a scanner with an AK slung over his shoulder raised his free hand, forming a fist.

    The other two, AK¡¯s at the ready, immediately stopped and crouched.

    He pointed at a recycling dumpster.

    Hispanions leveled their rifles preparing to shred it.

    The old man blinked. He could have sworn that he saw something odd for a split-second there, maybe something shimmering¡­ or fluttering?¡­

    It could be a range finder or maybe a malfunctioning sensor?¡­ Maybe something holographic?¡­ It could be a trap.

    He looked at his scanner again, carefully scanning the dumpster again, and did a double-take. Smiling, he waved his extended hand in a cutting motion near his neck.

    The other two slightly lowered their rifles.

    Drawing an old Earth-tech pistol the old man silently approached the dumpster, as he approached he heard quiet but urgent little squeaks and yelps.

    He checked his scanner again, smiled, shook his head, and backed away.

    The three disappeared down a side street.

    As they turned the corner he raised an ancient tech two-way radio handset.

    ¡°We got two little xenos getting their freak on in a dumpster. Leave ¡®em be.¡±

    ¡°Damn,¡± aughing voice replied. ¡°And the fighting didn¡¯t stop them? You go little dudes!¡±

    ***

    Later, Jaho and Ree cuddled in the darkness inside their hideaway.

    ¡°Ree,¡± Jaho said softly.

    ¡°Hmm?¡± she murmured happily as she hugged him tighter.

    ¡°That big dummy,¡± he said nuzzling her, ¡°the one you think doesn¡¯t think you exist?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± she asked curiously.

    ¡°He isn¡¯t a dummy¡­ Well he is. He¡¯s a bigger dummy than a dummy. He knows you exist.¡±

    ¡°He does?!?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jaho said, ¡°Every day he looked for you hoping to see you for just a little bit ¡®cause you made his day brighter and he thinks you are beautiful and nice and wonderful and really special.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°If that big giant huge dummy is me then yeah.¡±

    ¡°It is! It is you! I think you are super special!¡±

    ¡°But I was dumb and thought I couldn¡¯t do anything for reasons that are so stupid now and don¡¯t matter,¡± he said as he wrapped his tail around her waist and nipped her firmly on the side of her neck.

    ¡°Eeee!¡± she yelped in surprise and pleasure.

    ¡°<em>I im you, Ree!</em>¡±

    Ree gasped and then wasted no time wrapping her tail around him and nipping him back.

    ¡°<em>I im you too, Jaho!</em>¡± she eximed. ¡°Oh I¡¯m going to give you so many babies!¡±

    ¡°Sounds great!¡± Jaho smiled. ¡°But first we gotta get out of here.¡±

    ¡°Why hurry?¡± she smiled as climbed on top of him.

    ***

    On a nearby rooftop a lone smuggler¡¯s draped human female looked over the city with a powerful scanner scope.

    She smirked and picked up her radio handset.

    ¡°Those little freaks are at it again.¡±

    ¡°Well somebody drop some rations and water off for them,¡± an amused older voice replied. ¡°Looks like they are going to be there for awhile.¡±

 Chapter Intermission: The Beginning of the End

    Chapter Intermission: The Beginning of the End

    Councilor Karashel the sole representative of the Baleel species, emotionally drained and mentally exhausted, made her way to therge gardens in the courtyard of the Federation Council building. She was carrying a brightly colored Baleean lunchbox, a gift from her mother, but the day¡¯s events had robbed her of any appetite. The assortment of pickles and starchy grains so anticipated when she packed them this morning held very little interest now.

    She still couldn¡¯t believe it. The Federation, her Federation, had actually arranged for a Terran bio-weapon to ravage the humans. ¡°Arranged¡± was precisely the right term. Trusted members of the council entrusted to direct Emergency Response and Public Health had intentionally mismanaged the situation to the point that it could be called mass-murder.

    Her people were outraged. She was outraged and she was even further outraged by everyone else not being outraged.

    It wasn¡¯t that she was fond of the humans, far from it. They didn¡¯t have exactly the best reputation and the only ¡°ambassadors¡± that they had sent to the Baleel¡¯s home system promptly wound up in jail.

    They also seem to be overly involved in the instigation of the horrific war with the Republic, a war that caused over a billion deaths across the Federation, most of them civilians.

    This was being used unofficially to somehow justify what happened. This, was in Karashel¡¯s opinion, a tant and criminal attempt at maniption and misdirection. They might have wanted war but they weren¡¯t the ones who sent the ships, we were.

    And she just sat there and let it happen withoutint, just like a good little member of the Benevolence Party was supposed to. She was dead set against that void-blessed war and she just¡­

    Damn it. Damn it all and damn her for voting for it, just like the party said she should. All those deaths that her fellow councilors kept bring up today?

    Those dead are <em>our</em> fault, not the humans... <em>Ours!</em>

    And if everything wasn¡¯t already bad enough, she had the void-blessed <em>Terrans</em> to thank for bringing this horror to light. The damned Terrans were doing a better job of looking out for the Federation than the Council was!

    In apletely mystifying move, it seems that some Terrans, mortal enemies of the Federation humans (She absolutely refused to use the term ¡°porkie¡±¡ªThe actual meaning of that term was horrible!), hacked the Federation (another outrage that nobody seems to be outraged about) and released the information that confirmed the suspicions that the Federation humans already had.

    Why would the Terrans do that? Itpletely mystified her.

    It was an intriguing question butpletely overshadowed by other far more pressing ones. Why haven¡¯t the councilors responsible for this outrage been arrested? Why haven¡¯t there been attempts to correct the situation? Oh they say that corrections are being made but she wasn¡¯t convinced. Neither were a lot of other councilors.

    Far more importantly, neither were the humans.

    Their reaction was actually quite reasonable under the situation. The Baleel would do much the same, at least she hoped they would.

    And our response? Martialw and the dispatch of enough forces to shove them right back into those death camps!

    With the blessing of her people, she recently switched parties to join the opposition party. She had just weathered quite the verbalshing for it and the threats she received will keep her up for months but screw it.

    Sometimes you just have to take a stand. What the Federation did and what it is doing is wrong.

    Part of her hoped that the humans would somehow prevail. There was absolutely no chance of that though. When the Federation¡¯s armored leg tes hit the human worlds and all of their major enves tomorrow it would be over.

    That was why she just made the costly decision that she made yesterday. The councilors were the people¡¯s, all people¡¯s, representatives.

    If they didn¡¯t protect the people of the Federation, even the oily humans, then who would?

    She took a deep breath, trying to rx as she undted into the wonderfullyndscaped gardens, one of her favorite ces ever. The collection of nts and animals from countless worlds all carefully selected to be able to live together in harmony was nothing less than beautiful.

    <em>We might not be able to defend ourselves from the Terrans or protect our people from MASS MURDER but at least we can make something really pretty.</em>

    She winced. The past few days even robbed this ce, her favorite ce, of any appeal. Today, it¡­ it nauseated her.

    She wanted nothing more than to just quit, go home, and open that nt nursery she always dreamed about. It was a shame she couldn¡¯t do that. She had a responsibility to her people and to the Federation. As tiny as her voice was at least it was something. She would at least stick it out until the crisis was over.

    She sat at her favorite table and opened her lunch. After a few bites she set down her tongs with a sigh. She couldn¡¯t eat. She packed her lunch back up and started to wander the grounds trying to clear her head.

    As she undted about she noticed Caw Itsheeh, the Xx councilor, standing next to a pond, feeding the fish. He looked¡­ sad?¡­ much different than the haughty, icy-cold, downright malicious fiend that walked through the council chambers with much the same air as someone walking through a manure-filled stockyard.

    Approaching him would guarantee a scathing insult carefully calibrated to hurt whatever species he was addressing the most but she just had to. There was something that she just had to know, something worth the mental and emotionalceration that she would receive.

    Besides, after the past few days part of her felt that at least whatever horrible thing he would say would be a nice distraction. She smiled to herself as she wondered whether it would hone in on their physical insecurities, theirck of wealth and power, or maybe something new, something about them that even they hadn¡¯t considered.

    <em>Imagine! A whole new way to feel bad about myself!</em> What the hell was wrong with her?

    She caught his eye as she approached. Instantly, whatever was standing there before was reced by the dreaded Caw Itsheesh before which councilors fled in terror. It was as if a winter gale started to blow and when she made eye-contact she wanted to turn and run.

    ¡°What?¡± he asked in a cool tone. Part of her was terrified. Another part was impressed. He had never spoken to her before. The sheer amount of disdain he could pack into a single syble was astounding.

    ¡°Excuse me, councilor,¡± she stammered. ¡°Could¡­ could I ask you a question?¡±

    ¡°I hope that simple query isn¡¯t beyond even your capacity,¡± the Xx replied with a flick of his brilliant blue crest, normallypletely concealed amid the small iridescent dark purple feathers of his reptilian head.

    ¡°Um¡­ yes¡­ I¡­ I wonder¡­ I mean I would like to know...¡±

    The Xx sighed.

    ¡°Once again, my hopes are dashed,¡± the Xx sneered and turned back to the fish. A disdainful flick of his slender fingers tipped withcquered talons indicated that the conversation was over.

    ¡°<em>Why do you hate us?</em>¡± she blurted at the back of his head.

    The Xx flicked his crest and turned to face her. She suppressed a real instinct to run as he ¡°smiled¡± revealing wickedly sharp translucent almost crystalline looking teeth.

    ¡°Oh my dear, you misunderstand,¡± he almost purred. ¡°I don¡¯t hate you. I don¡¯t hate anyone here.¡±

    ¡°You¡­ you don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± the Xx replied. ¡°Hate requires effort, something that I wouldn¡¯t deign to expend on your behalf. You¡­ the emotion I feel when looking at you isn¡¯t hate. It¡¯s more akin to the feeling one gets when they step in excrement, unpleasant to be sure, but not hate.¡±

    <em>He¡¯s right,</em> she thought to herself in shame. <em>Compared to him, to his race, we are just that, shit between his toes¡­ Why did I even think I could talk to-¡­ Wait just one void-kissed minute!</em>

    She took a second to collect herself. <em>This is what he does,</em> she reminded herself. She had even braced herself for this. He know exactly how to hit you. She was getting pretty damned tired of getting knocked around by the council and trampled by the bullies on it.

    That stops today. Right here and right now. She was going to get a void-blessed answer out of him!

    ¡°But, why?¡± she asked holding her ground. ¡°Why do you feel that way?¡±

    Caw Itsheesh cocked his head curiously and actually looked at her. Once again she had to fight the urge to run as she shifted ufortably under his scrutiny.

    ¡°Why?¡± Caw Itsheesh asked. ¡°What do you hope to get out of this? If it is finding out a way to gain our favor you won¡¯t get it.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she stammered, ¡°It¡¯s nothing like that. I¡­ I just want to know.¡±

    She fidgeted and looked away, unable to withstand his withering re any further.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve always wondered and¡­ and¡­ I just had to know¡­ That¡¯s all...¡±

    The Xx¡¯s crest raised to its full height as it growled slightly. It then stood there and silently looked directly into her eyes, dissecting her with his gaze. It took everything she had not to just flee in terror.

    ¡°That¡¯s it?¡± Caw Itsheesh asked in a truly disturbing tone of voice. ¡°You intruded on my meditations, my remembrance, just because you wished to wanted to know something? You dared to approach me, a member of a race that, rtive to you, is so advanced that you are incapable of truly understanding how inferior you are simply because you ¡®just had to know¡¯ something?¡±

    <em>Oh this was a mistake,</em> she thought in terror. <em>I¡¯ve never seen it look at anyone the way it is looking at me right now. Oh creators! Have I offended it? What will it do to me? Oh abyss! What will it do to us?</em>

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry...¡± she managed to stammer in a small voice.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be,¡± the Xx said with that same tone. ¡°A honest request for knowledge and knowledge alone from someone consumed with only the desire to know it is worth my effort. In fact, it is the only thing that has been worth my effort in quite awhile. My dear¡­ what are you, exactly?¡±

    ¡°A¡­ A Baleel, e¡­ exalted one,¡± she stammered.

    ¡°First off I hold no special station or position,¡± he said pulling out a strange looking t crystalline object. ¡°I hold the same rank as you. Dispense with all of those fake titles. The only ones that use them are the ones licking my underside hoping that something might stick to their mouthparts,¡± it said as it tapped and drug his fingers on what appeared to be some sort of data tablet. ¡°My name is Caw. Anything more is just a waste of my time.¡±

    ¡°Y-yes, sir,¡± she stammered.

    ¡°Sir is ok if you must,¡± he muttered as he continued to fiddle with the strange looking tablet. ¡°However, I prefer ¡®Caw¡¯. Let¡¯s see¡­ Baleel¡­ Baleel¡­ Oh, here you are¡­¡± it said as it examined his tablet. ¡°Hmm¡­ About what I thought...¡± he muttered as he read.

    After several long and very ufortable seconds he tucked his data tablet away.

    ¡°As I was saying, my dear Baleel,¡± the Xx said in that same scary voice, ¡°The desire to acquire knowledge for its own sake is the purest motive for wishing to acquire it. I am happy to give you an answer. That knowledge might not be what you expect. In fact I seriously doubt you will be pleased with it once you receive it but that is often the case when one seeks knowledge...¡±

    The Xx approached Karashel and ¡°smiled¡± revealing those terrifying fangs again.

    ¡°And once gained knowledge is not easily forgotten,¡± he said. ¡°Do you still want it, that knowledge, even if I guarantee that it will be of no use to you or your people and will be unpleasant to hear?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough,¡± the Xx smiled. ¡°I have already rified that I, that we, do not ¡®hate¡¯ you. I assume that your question has now changed to ¡®Why do we <em>loathe</em> you¡¯. Yes?¡±

    Karashel bobbed her body up and down in her species¡¯s version of a nod.

    ¡°Then I have a question for you,¡± Caw said in that weird voice. ¡°How long have you been a part of the Federation?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know,¡± Karashel said meekly.

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Caw said with disdain. ¡°You could have at least known that. You have been a member of the Federation for one-hundred and eighty-three standard Federation years. There, a free piece of knowledge from an ¡®Exalted One¡¯. You should be grateful.¡±

    ¡°T-thank-¡±

    ¡°Oh be quiet,¡± Xx snapped. ¡°One-hundred and eighty-three years, for one-hundred and eighty-three years you have had ess to the umted knowledge and technology of the Federation.¡±

    Xx stooped down to look her directly in the eyes. Karashel flinched.

    ¡°And in all of that time what have you contributed?¡±

    ¡°Contributed?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Xx replied. ¡°What has the Baleel contributed to that knowledge, that technology?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t-¡±

    ¡°Nothing,¡± Xx said. ¡°not one single advancement of any sort in any field.¡±

    Caw shook his head disapprovingly.

    ¡°If we were guilty of such sloth, our entire race would sterilize itself out of shame, but not all races have been blessed by the Progenitors as we have. Simply copying the knowledge of your betters might be all your kind is capable of. It would be unfair to expect a truly deficient race to meet our standards,¡± he sneered. ¡°Ok, so you''ve decided to just copy, just use what is handed to you. What have you aplished with it?¡±

    ¡°A-plished?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Caw replied. ¡°You have been freely given so much. Science, mathematics, technology¡­ You even have schematics and assembly diagrams! You can buy equipment, load in a design that someone else has already created, and push a button. You have everything you need to create a true post-scarcity society and more!¡±

    He looked her gravely.

    ¡°Councilor, do you have a post-scarcity society?¡±

    ¡°A post-¡±

    ¡°Look it up!¡± Xx snapped. ¡°The answer is no you don¡¯t have one. That might be a bit overly ambitious though. How about something more simple, more direct, medicine? With all of the scientific theory, and equipment at your fingertips your medical science should be on par with any in the gxy. Is it? The answer is a resounding no. Your medical sciences have benefited, to be sure, but only by default. Your doctors have learned to use scanners. Amazing!¡±

    ¡°But..¡±

    ¡°But nothing,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Compared to where, even by the most forgiving of standards, it should be your medicine sucks. I could spend all day pulling up example after example in field after field but you Baleel have done <em>nothing</em>. You haven¡¯t designed your own ships, you just copy pre-existing ns and that¡¯s only for small shuttles. You have never built an FTL drive, not even a copy. Whatever starships that fly under your g are purchased. What little industry you do have relies entirely on capital equipment that you buy and install. In the past one-hundred and eighty-three years you haven¡¯t even designed a manufacturing facility! You have literally done nothing but copy, copy, copy and you barely do that.¡±

    Karashel shifted ufortably. She could feel her skin temperature drop from embarrassment.

    ¡°As far as your knowledge goes,¡± Caw continued. ¡°tell me, <em>councilor</em>, what are the five basic requirements for entering hyperspace?¡±

    ¡°I...¡±

    ¡°While I would love to say that every Xx knows that every race has its embarrassments,¡± Caw said disdainfully. ¡°The five requirements are taught as part of our elementary school education! Tell me, do you even bother teaching them¡­ at all?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡±

    ¡°¡¯Um¡¯ is right. Here¡¯s an easy one,¡± Caw said. ¡°Which quarksprise a proton?¡±

    Karashel just looked downward. She didn¡¯t even know what a quark was.

    ¡°Creator¡¯s tears,¡± Caw muttered. ¡°One more chance and if you don¡¯t get this one my opinion of the Baleel will do something I didn¡¯t think possible. It will actually drop. What force much be ovee for fusion to ur?¡±

    Karashel¡¯s skin started to freeze with embarrassment. She didn¡¯t know.

    ¡°You were never taught that, were you?¡± Caw said with pity in his voice.

    ¡°I¡¯m not an engineer so-¡± she started to say defensively.

    ¡°Councilor, I am willing to make a one trillion credit bet with you,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Are you willing to bet one trillion credits of your people¡¯s money that if I call a random Baleel engineer he can answer all of the questions I just asked? We can do it right now.¡±

    Karashel just looked down again. It was one thing to be told your race was the equivalent of shit between their toes. It was entirely another for it to be proven.

    ¡°I am going to be merciful and not tell you at which grade level those facts are taught,¡± Caw said in a gentle but disturbing voice. ¡°I think I made my point.¡±

    ¡°But we aren¡¯t an elder race! We-¡±

    ¡°And those aren¡¯t elder concepts. Every single bit of that information is readily essible to you. In fact, it¡¯s pretty fundamental stuff,¡± Caw replied. ¡°To be honest I would have been very pleasantly surprised if you got those questions correct. Getting <em>all</em> of them wrong was a bit surprising but, based on what we havee to expect from the Federation, far from a shock. You were quite wise not to cover that bet by the way. Misced pride has put more than one race in a very awkward situation. In case you are wondering I just let them sweat for a few days and then tell them that we will forgive the debt in exchange for that species never, ever speaking to us again for any reason.¡±

    Caw chuckled.

    ¡°Oh the looks on their faces when they think we are serious about collecting, it never gets old! Anyway, do you see where I¡¯m going here? Do you see the point I¡¯m trying to make?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes...¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Caw said with a smile. ¡°Now we can get into why we really don¡¯t like you.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s more?!?!¡± she asked in horror.

    ¡°Oh my little Baleel, we are only getting started,¡± Caw said with a wicked toothy grin, ¡°but I¡¯m no sadist. I just hate constantly stepping in shit. Is your hunger for knowledge satisfied or do you want to continue? Do you really want to know the rest?¡±

    ¡°I asked why you hated us and if this isn¡¯t why then I <em>have</em> to know what is.¡±

    Caw nodded approvingly.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t the first sophont to ask but I have always lost them around this point, if theysted that long. You might be as ignorant as a stone at least you are keen. I¡¯ll give you that much,¡± Caw said in that strange tone that Karashel was starting to think was his <em>actual</em> voice. ¡°Hmm¡­ Yes. I know,¡± he said as he flicked his crest happily.

    ¡°I think a field trip is in order. Come on,¡± he said gesturing her to follow.

    ¡°But lunch is almost over and it''s an emergency session!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s more important,¡± Caw asked, ¡°some ¡®vital¡¯ council business or getting your question answered?¡± Caw started to walk away and said over his shoulder, ¡°I¡¯m not wasting my time twice.¡±

    Karashel looked anxiously over at the council building for a moment and then rushed to catch up.

    Caw didn¡¯t look back but he heard her ¡°running¡± behind him and smiled.

    ***

    As the pair left the building a sleek, beautiful, grav-car pulled up beside them and the doors opened. Caw climbed in and gestured for Karashel to follow.

    She looked around in amazement. She had never been in something so beautiful, so elegant, so advanced, so¡­ so <em>wow</em>.

    ¡°Is this one of your embassy¡¯s vehicles?¡± she asked in amazement and then winced at the stupid, obvious question.

    ¡°This?¡± Caw chuckled as he entered an address, ¡°This is my personal vehicle. I had it shipped over. As far as diplomatic status is concerned we have found that the sight of us is protection enough.¡±

    ¡°This is <em>yours</em>?¡± she said in surprise. ¡°How mu-¡± she caught herself. She was about to rudely ask how much it cost.

    ¡°Oh you primitives and your money,¡± Caw smiled. ¡°It would be cute if it wasn¡¯t so troublesome. It cost me nothing. By your definition, it was ¡®free¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡± she stammered.

    ¡°Post-scarcity, primitive,¡± heughed. ¡°Might want to look into it.¡±

    Caw leaned back and pulled out his tablet.

    ¡°Shall we continue?¡± he asked.

    As the vehicle¡¯s auto-navigation system guided them through the city streets Karashel was treated to a long, agonizing conversation where Caw, in brutal detail, further discussed the Baleel¡¯s shorings as a species.

    It was horrible.

    ¡°¡­ and with everything at your disposal over five percent of your poption still lives in what is easily ssified as abject poverty. Not good, primitive, not good at all¡­ And while we are on the subject of poverty...¡±

    She could do nothing but wince and wiggle ufortably as she weathered what was no longer an indictment of her people ¡ª it was a <em>demonstration</em>. He was now mercilessly and quite thoroughly <em>proving</em> that they were garbage.

    ¡°Don¡¯t feel too badly,¡± Caw said as he offered her a cup from a built-in beverage dispenser. ¡°You actuallypare quite favorably to the rest of the Federation. Aside from your absolutely pathetic education you are solidly in the top twenty-five percent.¡±

    <em>What?</em>

    ¡°For example, let¡¯s start with the Z¡¯uush...¡±

    As she listened in absolute horror as Caw starting to talk about the bottom twenty-five¡ªshe had absolutely no idea! She was going to have a quite difficult time not physically attacking some of her ¡°esteemed colleagues¡± when she got back.

    The thought was idiotic. What was she going to do, wiggle on top of them and spank them with her rad? The image of her on top of one of the Kaarst councilors with her tongue raised in righteous fury shed across her mind.

    She couldn¡¯t help but let out a little giggle.

    Caw red at her.

    <em>Oh shit...</em>

    ¡°You find this amusing?¡± he snapped.

    ¡°No¡­ sorry...¡± she replied quite nervously. ¡°I just had a funny thought, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Please enlighten me,¡± Caw replied with utter disgust. ¡°Please tell me what you could possibly find funny? Are you so bored, so disinterested, that you feel the need to entertain yourself?¡± he asked with genuine irritation.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s-¡±

    ¡°Then what?¡± he asked sharply.

    As Karashel started to very nervously and reluctantly exin, Caw broke out into a loud screech, his crest raised to his fullest extent.

    <em>Oh no!</em> she thought inplete terror. <em>I blew it! I had the chance of a thousand lifetimes, a private audience with an elder race and I angered them! He¡¯s right, I am a moron!</em>

    As Caw continued to screech she wondered if shame would be enough to convince a Baleel physician to sterilize her.

    <em>I just told him that not only are we hopeless, deep down we are also violent¡­ I should just throw myself off of the council chambers and be done with it.</em>

    ¡°If you do ever sumb your bestial rage,¡± Caw said, gasping for air, ¡°be sure to check that your victim isn¡¯t enjoying it!¡±

    Caw turned to her and patted her top in what her race would consider a friendly manner.

    ¡°Karashel,¡± he said, ¡°now you are starting to understand.¡±

    ¡°We are fucking scum! We are letting this happen!¡­ I am letting this happen!... Fuck them and fuck me too!¡± Karashel , no longer able to contain her anger, shouted and then caught herself, looking over at Caw inplete horror. She had just uttered base profanity in front of an Xx. She uttered it to the void-humping Xx <em>councilor</em>!

    ¡°Don¡¯t be too hard on yourself, Kara,¡± Caw said patting her again. ¡°We¡¯re letting it happen too.¡±

    ¡°But, why?¡± she asked. ¡°Why are you allowing this? Do you hate¡­ sorry¡­ loathe us that much?¡±

    ¡°What are we going to do, invade?¡± Caw said with a shrug, ¡°Should we wage war upon the entire Federation? Even we aren¡¯t that powerful and refuse to maim ourselves to the extent it would take to be so. Like it or not the Federation charter allows, within some very easily gamed or ignored guidelines,plete freedom for a member system to ¡®write its own destiny¡¯. Withoutpletely tearing down and rebuilding the entire system from scratch there is nothing to stop the Z¡¯uush, Kaarst, and countless others from doing exactly what they please¡­ including allowing homeless to starve on their streets¡­ <em>Kara</em>...¡±

    <em>Tear it down and rebuild the whole system from scratch...</em> The words quietly slid into Karashel''s soul.

    ¡°Yeah, we suck. You¡¯ve made that quite clear,¡± Karashel replied angrily and looked out the window. The beautiful streets and buildings of the capital city she was used to had given way to shabby narrow ways and a motley assortment of structures. Where were they going?

    She was afraid to ask her next question but, once again, she simply <em>had</em> to know.

    ¡°But surely <em>you</em> could do <em>something</em>,¡± she said, ¡°You are an elder race! People respect you! Your voice could-¡±

    ¡°Bepletely ignored,¡± Caw replied with a sneer. ¡°Oh everyone begs and pleads for our ¡®wisdom¡¯ but when our fucking ¡®ancient knowledge¡¯ involves actual effort or won¡¯t turn someone an immediate profit they tend to lose interest very quickly.¡±

    He looked out the window and let out a warbling sigh.

    ¡°We chose to join the Federation out of convenience, not out of any altruistic urge,¡± Caw said after a few seconds. ¡°Even so, we had hoped we could¡­ bah¡­ nevermind...¡±

    <em>Tear it all down and rebuild...</em>

    ¡°The opposition party!¡± Karashel eximed. ¡°We are trying to make a real difference! If you joined us maybe together we-¡±

    Caw let out a coughing screech.

    ¡°Oh you adorable little hatchling,¡± Caw said, patting her fondly, ¡°let me tell you about your precious ¡®opposition party¡¯...¡±

    A few minutester as Karashel, disillusioned to the point of heartbreak, silently looked out the window.

    <em>Tear it all down...</em>

    As she continued to look out at what had now be slums that further illustrated Caw¡¯s point, the grav-car finally stopped in front of a run down masonry-block building.

    The doors opened.

    ¡°Were are we?¡± Karashel asked. ¡°What are we doing here?¡±

    As Caw was climbing out of his grav-car he turned to her.

    ¡°I am about to show you a race that we actually respect more than almost any other.¡± Caw replied. ¡°Not only that but I¡¯m about to introduce you to a personal friend of mine. Come on.¡±

    Karashel got out and looked around with seething anger. This was not the sort of neighborhood you wanted to be in at any time of the day. With all our wealth, all of our technology, all of our power, people still had to live like this, even in their capital.

    <em>Tear it all down...</em>

    ¡°You won¡¯t die between here and the door, Kara,¡± Caw snortedpletely misinterpreting her dy. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    Karashel started to head towards the door.

    ¡°Not that one,¡± Caw said and then walked into an alleyway.

    Steeling what little nerves her race had she followed him into the alley. Soon she was standing at a side entrance with strange glyphs on the door. She had never seen anything like them before. What ancient race inscribed them?

    ¡°Now be polite,¡± Caw said sternly, ¡°They are pretty thick-skinned but I am not, especially when my friends are slighted.¡±

    He opened the door and walked in. Wondering what mysterious race she was about to encounter she nervously followed. Once inside she looked around curiously trying to find whatever elder, ancient, or notable race Caw had brought her to meet.

    There was nothing in there but some Aats. She raised her body up and stretched her eye-stalks to peer over them, looking for who they came to meet.

    ¡°Keej! Ha gara keek keek.¡± Caw said cheerfully to an Aat behind a counter.

    ¡°Keej! Ku Xx. Juu lor Bujo?¡± the Aat, possibly female?, replied casually.

    ¡°Sh. Bujo sr k?¡±

    ¡°Jee!¡± the Aat squeaked. ¡°Surj kalo.¡±

    Their mystifying conversation continued in anguage that, no matter how she adjusted her trantor, she couldn¡¯t understand.

    Caw pulled out a bag from his coat and handed it to her. The Aat eagerly opened the bag and squealed happily pulling out beautiful iridescent dark purple feathers¡­ Xx feathers!

    The Aat quickly climbed over the counter and gave Caw a hug. Karashel gasped. That Aat just dared to touch an Xx, the poor thing! There was no telling what Caw do her for that insult.

    When Caw returned the hug she gasped again.

    ¡°Now please you stop try pluck me when back turned every time?¡± Caw chided.

    ¡°Your fault for being pretty pretty,¡± the Aat replied as she yfully tugged at one of his feathers.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Caw screeched as the room broke intoughter.

    He turned to Karashel.

    ¡°Apologies for speaking in anguage you did not know,¡± he chuckled. ¡°The Aat¡¯snguage is very challenging and I like to keep in practice.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the Aats,¡± Karashel said with a chuckle. ¡°You brought me here to meet the Aats.¡±

    ¡°I was expecting more of a reaction,¡± Caw replied with an amused flick of his crest.

    ¡°At this point,¡± she replied, ¡°you still expect me to be shocked by you? Just demonstrate your point, I honestly want to know.¡±

    Caw looked at her intently. Deciding that she was in fact sincere he ¡°smiled¡±.

    ¡°Very well,¡± he said, ¡°But first some more abuse.¡± He turned to the Aat that was now sitting on the counter staring happily into the bag she received.

    ¡°Hey, Skalee, tell my friend here the joke about the candle.¡±

    ¡°No. Not nice. Me nice.¡±

    ¡°But you one who told me.¡±

    ¡°Not nice telling it to <em>her</em>. Telling you, funny. Telling her, mean.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Caw chuckled, ¡°I mean. I tell her.¡±

    He turned to face Karashel.

    ¡°Tell me, Kara,¡± he smiled. ¡°How many Feds does it take to light a candle?¡±

    Karashel just sighed and retracted her eyestalks a little. As the entire room looked at her expectantly.

    ¡°Well?¡± Caw asked.

    ¡°What¡¯s a candle?¡±

    The room burst into squealingughter.

    ¡°You steal joke!¡± Skalee squealed with delight. ¡°Clever clever!¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Karashel sighed. ¡°I honestly have absolutely no idea what a candle is.¡±

    The room fell into a shocked silence.

    ¡°...You still smart...¡± Skalee said with pity in her voice. ¡°Just star-soft. Not dumb.¡±

    ¡°No we aren¡¯t,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°The whole point of this excursion was to prove that.¡±

    ¡°Eshpurson?¡±

    ¡°Trip,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°It¡¯s a word ¡®star-soft¡¯ people use for a trip.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s <em>mean</em>,¡± Skalee said ring at Caw. ¡°You too mean.¡±

    ¡°You deal with star-soft dumb butt all day,¡± Caw replied. ¡°You turn mean too.¡±

    ¡°Never be where turn mean,¡± Skalee said, ¡°Be there stupid stupid.¡±

    ¡°Yes. Stupid.¡± Caw replied. ¡°Very stupid but stupid before now stuck.¡±

    Skalee patted Caw consolingly. ¡°It ok. You be nice here. Take bath in nice. Wash mean off.¡±

    ¡°Why you think I here so much?¡± Cawughed. ¡°You have sunny day!¡±

    ¡°You too!¡±

    He turned to Karashel.

    ¡°The punchline is ¡®None, because they are stupid.¡¯¡±

    ¡°Yeah, kinda figured that out, but what <em>is</em> a candle?¡±

    ¡°I only agreed to answer one question. I¡¯m not an encyclopedia.¡±

    ¡°An encyclopedia?¡±

    Caw facepalmed.

    ¡°Just¡­ Don¡¯t,¡± Karashel sighed. ¡°I¡¯ll look it up.¡±

    Caw flicked his crest and smiled. That was the right answer.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go out back and we will finally get to the main reason that we don¡¯t like you.¡±

    ¡°THERE¡¯S MORE?!?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes, hatchling, there¡¯s more,¡± Caw snickered as he headed towards the back entrance.

    ¡°Oh for fuck¡¯s sake,¡± she muttered as she undted after him.

 Chapter Intermission: The Beginning of the End Pt 2

    Chapter Intermission: The Beginning of the End Pt 2

    Caw and Karashel entered a fenced in open area where a small group of Aat were clustered around arge circr bare patch of ground with shallow pits dug in it.

    In the circle were clusters of small spheres.

    One of the Aats flicked its wrist sending another sphere rolling into the circle at high speed and into one of the clusters, scattering it, and sending several beautifully engraved spheres rolling into the holes. The sphere that he cast rolled out of the circle and he walked over and picked it up, remaining where it rolled.

    The other Aats all made approving sounds, except for one standing on the other side of the circle.

    It didn¡¯t look happy.

    ¡°sh of the titans!¡± Caw eximed happily. ¡°We are in for a treat! Well, at least I am,¡± he said and rushed over to the circle.

    Karashel, now quite used to being confused, followed.

    ¡°They are ying ¡®Stones¡¯,¡± Caw said quietly. ¡°It¡¯s a quite intriguing game, abination of uracy and strategy. Bujo¡±, he said nodding towards one of the yers, ¡°And Leeilee,¡± he said nodding towards the unhappy Aat now readying a sphere, ¡°are masters of the game.¡±

    Karashel watched as Leeilee sent her sphere skittering through the circle, clipping a sphere and sending both it and her sphere out of the circle. Leeilee then retrieved both. standing where her casting stone stopped.

    Bujo readied his sphere and sent it into the circle where it struck a blue sphere that broke stopping his stone.

    The crowd went wild as Bujo yelled in his native tongue. Karashel didn¡¯t know what he yelled but it sounded profane.

    ¡°A snare!¡± Caw shouted. ¡°They are carefully made to fail when struck, a very dirty trick!¡±

    Leeilee chuckled and deftly struck Bujo¡¯s stone, sending it into a pit as the spectators cheered.

    She proudly walked into the circle, picked it up, and put it into a pouch along with all the spheres in the pits.

    ¡°You sneaky sneak!¡± Bujo shouted. ¡°Beautiful trap! Me no see!¡±

    Leeilee pulled out his throwing sphere, kissed it, and put it back in her pouch.

    ¡°Want y again?¡± she asked, ¡°But what do you throw with?¡±

    ¡°Oh go away dirty cheat,¡± Bujoughed, hugging her. ¡°Filthy dirty cheat cheat. You bring stone back. I take all your stones but no use snare.¡±

    ¡°You no can make snare,¡± Leeileeughed and then raised a bulging marble pouch. ¡°Eats! Me pay!¡± she yelled as everyone cheered.

    As the crowd followed her back inside she turned to Bujo.

    ¡°Youe?¡±

    ¡°Me talk to friend thene!¡± he yelled back.

    ¡°Rotten luck,¡± Caw said as he shook Bujo¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Bad luck makes good luck,¡± Bujo replied. ¡°She buy more than she win,¡± he chuckled.

    ¡°She is going to pay with those spheres?¡± Karashel asked.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Bujo eximed happily. ¡°Those money stones!¡±

    ¡°The Aat use a veryplicated bartering system on their homeworld,¡± Caw exined, ¡°with many standardized rates of exchange. You need a spreadsheet to keep track of it all. Those money stones are worth a good couple of credits each.¡±

    ¡°If you stupid stupid and trade them,¡± Bujoughed. ¡°Me sell them to stupid Xx who think they art.¡±

    Despite being numbed by the day Karashel still gasped in shock. Hugging an Xx was one thing. Calling them stupid to their face was another!

    ¡°Who you call stupid, stupid?¡± Cawughed. ¡°Who stupider Xx not knowing art or Aat not knowing snare stone?¡±

    ¡°Stupider than Xx who think he can y stones?¡±

    ¡°Stupider than Aat who mix red and yellow bottle?¡±

    ¡°You want keep ying stupid game in front of Fed? You know what I say next.¡±

    ¡°You win,¡± Caw said with a screech. ¡°I stupidest!¡±

    With augh, Caw turned to Karashel.

    ¡°Bujo, this is Karashel. Karashel, this is Bujo, a very old and dear friend of mine.¡±

    ¡°Nice to meetcha, Karashel,¡± Bujo said extending his hand. Karashel sped his hand like he saw Caw do.

    ¡°Likewise,¡± she replied.

    ¡°How you know big meany?¡± Bujo asked.

    ¡°We just met,¡± Caw said, ¡°She decided to bother me with an honest question and I was so stunned that I am actually answering it.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± Bujo replied. ¡°You do good, Karashel! Caw no like Fed. What you ask?¡±

    ¡°I asked why he hates us.¡±

    Bujo startedughing.

    ¡°Dat question he love answer!¡± he squealed. ¡°How long he talk?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s been over an hour now...¡±

    ¡°He just start then,¡± Bujo squealed and patted Karashel consolingly.

    Caw¡¯smunicator started to ping. Grumbling he started to answer.

    ¡°What?¡± he asked disdainfully,¡±¡­ Well, let¡¯s put on our thinking pants and puzzle this one out. Can you do that?¡­ Splendid¡­ If my assistant says that I¡¯m not in the building then am I in the building?¡­ Wow! Aren¡¯t you the clever one! You are doing great! Now here¡¯s the next puzzle. If I¡¯m not in the building then do I have any intention of meeting with you?¡­ Well because something far more worthwhile popped up, that¡¯s why¡­ I¡¯m meeting with someone actually worth my time if you must know¡­ I assume that you stating the amount of time you waited for your appointment has some relevance?¡­ Well?¡­ I asked you a question. Does the amount of time you waited for your appointment or the amount of time you have been sitting like an obedientpanion-animal has the slightest importance?¡­ Well, does it?¡­ Councilor, the Federation is a free society. We are all free to write our own destinies so I wouldn¡¯t presume to tell you what to do next. If your desire is to speak with me privately then consult with my assistant¡­ I have no idea. That¡¯s why I have an assistant¡­ A month?¡­ The fact that you already knew that clearly indicates that you already knew the basics of this situation and decided to call me anyway simply toin. I don¡¯t appreciate my time being wasted, Councilor¡­ The main difference between me wasting your time and you wasting mine is that when I block your number, refuse all future appointments, and cease efforts on certain trade agreement I won¡¯t give a shit¡­ Oh my dear councilor, I didn¡¯t say ¡®if¡¯ I said ¡®when¡¯¡­ Your number is now blocked, and¡­ Oh? A month is fine? Splendid! I am ever so d we could rectify the situation to our mutual satisfaction. The Federation is all about cooperation andpromise after all. Oh, and councilor, may I rmend a bit more tact in the future?¡­ Apology epted. Have a sunny day, Councilor.¡±

    Caw pressed a few icons on hismunicator, blocking the number, and then looked up at hispanions.

    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± he said, ¡°I swear, the nerve of that guy. Some people are so <em>rude</em>.¡±

    A giggle leaked out of Karashel. Bujo rolled his eyes.

    ¡°As you deduced, I brought you here to meet my friend and the Aats,¡± Caw said. ¡°I wanted to show you an example of what we admire.¡±

    He paused as he looked at Karashel expectantly.

    ¡°I would have expected a reaction.¡±

    ¡°I admit that I am mystified,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°Is it their reliance on their native technology?¡±

    ¡°In part,¡± Caw replied with an approving nod. ¡°Forgive my surprise, but you aren¡¯t aplete idiot after all.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Bujo eximed, ¡°Be nice. My ce you be nice.¡±

    ¡°But she <em>councilor</em>.¡±

    ¡°Oh, this nice then.¡± Bujoughed.

    ¡°Actually,¡± Karashel said to Bujo, ¡°I¡¯m a little flustered. It¡¯s the nicest thing he has ever said to me!¡±

    Bujo squealed withughter.

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Caw chuckled, ¡°yes, they still have kept their native tech, something that we do find admirable but in all truth it is, much like your (ahem) medicine, answer by default. I¡¯m not sure if you know this but Aats have extreme difficulty reading and anything beyond simple arithmetic is quite simply impossible. They can¡¯t just start copying. So, as much as we like that about them we can¡¯t give them full points.¡±

    ¡°Me try learn math,¡± Bujo said as his fur fluffed up. ¡°Letters bad but I do. Numbers bad but I do. Letters and numbers?¡± he asked as he shuddered.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Caw said patting his friend¡¯s shoulder. ¡°That¡¯s about as far as we got. To his credit it took months for him to admit defeat.¡±

    ¡°Me no quit. Big tree you keep chopping. You no quit.¡±

    ¡°Well put,¡± Caw said. ¡°And that is one of the points I wish to illustrate. They don¡¯t quit. They will doggedly keep at a problem hacking at it with stone and bronze until it yields. Full literacy takes years and countless Aats, knowing full well that they are hopelessly bad at at, plug away at it even if it takes years to be able to read a simple book¡­ You do know what a book is, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Caw, I know what a fucking book is.¡±

    ¡°Thank the Progenitors!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a collection of files and images coted into a single master document for ease of-¡±

    Caw facepalmed.

    ¡°So close!¡± he cried out in agony. ¡°If only you had stopped talking!¡±

    ¡°(sigh) I¡¯ll look it up¡­ Wait¡­ You mean a sharr!¡±

    ¡°Sharr?¡±

    ¡°Look it up,¡± Karashel quipped.

    With an amused flick of his crest Caw pulled out his tablet. He was starting to like the little slug.

    ¡°Yes, a sharr,¡± Caw said after a few moments. ¡°You still used scrolls? Huh¡­ You do you I guess¡­ (scroll scroll) No that <em>would</em> work!¡­ Nice! (scroll!)¡­ Wait!¡­ With the development of printing you skipped right over tes and jumped straight to rollers! (scroll!!)¡­ That means that you had to have already had bearings and precision machining back then? (<em>scroll!</em>)¡­ What did you use to¡­ Wait¡­ How did you do multiple pages at once? (<em>scroll scroll scroll</em>)¡­ Progenitor piss! How could you leave that out?!?¡­ You had <em>better</em> have preserved one of those original presses or I swear¡­¡±

    Caw brought his tablet closer to his face, staring intently at it, and scrolling like mad.

    ¡°Oh no, you show him something new,¡± Bujo said. ¡°It gonna be while. I get drink. Alcohol safe?¡±

    ¡°No, poison.¡± Karashel replied.

    ¡°Pity. What about sre-water?¡±

    ¡°What sre-water?¡± Karashel asked. Their way of speaking was crude but damned if it wasn¡¯t efficient.

    ¡°Boil sre grain and make water cold. Nice nice.¡±

    ¡°We love simple carbohydrates. I have scanner! I look!¡± Karashel replied.

    Bujo disappeared into the building and returned with a ss filled with murky liquid. Karashel scanned it and finding no toxins, cautiously took a small sip.

    She let out a short st of delight from her breathing hole. It was delicious!

    ¡°You like?¡± Bjuo asked.

    ¡°Me like!¡± she eximed. She had never thought of making a porridge this thin. Oh she was going to try this at home!

    Karashel and Bujo made small talk as Caw,pletely lost in his tablet, continued to mutter and scroll.

    By the time Caw looked up Bujo and Karashel were over at the marble pit where he was teaching her how to y stones.

    ¡°If he tells you that you are good enough to y for real he¡¯s lying,¡± Caw chuckled as he walked up.

    ¡°She already better than you,¡± Bujo snickered.

    ¡°Quite interesting tidbit there, Kara,¡± Caw said finally putting away his tablet. ¡°And you went from there to where you are now¡­ tragic.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we suck,¡± Karashel replied as she handed Bujo his marbles. ¡°Thanks, Bujo.¡±

    ¡°Sorry for diving down that serpent¡¯s burrow,¡± Caw said. ¡°Where that one divergence from the normal technological path led your species is just fascinating!¡±

    ¡°d we could entertain,¡± Karashel replied with just a touch of sarcasm.

    ¡°Actually, this leads into the whole point of bringing you here,¡± Caw said. ¡°The Aat.¡±

    ¡°Oh here he go,¡± Bujo muttered. ¡°I go eat.¡± With that Bujo waved and headed into the building.

    ¡°When we made contact with the Aat, they handled it far better than almost any race,¡± Caw said. ¡°They didn¡¯t fall on their knees worshiping the sky gods or rally their armies in a panic. They just invited us in and posted a watch over their livestock. That was notable but not what really impressed us.¡±

    ¡°So what was?¡±

    ¡°Where almost every culture¡¯s technological advancement grinds to a screeching halt theirs has exploded. They are making advancements in almost every area,¡± Caw said with almost a reverential tone.

    ¡°But isn¡¯t that only to be expected?¡± Karashel asked. ¡°I mean they were so far behind.¡±

    ¡°But Kara,¡± Caw replied. ¡°They can¡¯t read. They can¡¯t copy the archives. They can¡¯t even really understand them. When I say their technology advanced I mean it <em>actually advanced</em>. Are you familiar with a hair dryer?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll look it up,¡± she said in a resigned manner.

    ¡°That one I don¡¯t fault you for,¡± Caw chuckled. ¡°You have neither fur nor feathers. It¡¯s a basic consumer product that produces a stream of warm air that will efficiently dry waterlogged feathers. They are very handy for a creature like me or the Aat. It took the Aat about a week before one of them looked at a hair dryer and realized that it created a <em>constant stream</em> of air. He snatched his wife¡¯s prized possession and hooked it up to his furnace. Their furnaces rely onbustion of solid fuel and the constant stream of air increased thebustion rate and increased the temperature significantly. This then prompted them to start putting stuff in the new hotter furnaces to see what would happen. They also started salvaging materials from broken consumer items and tossing them in the furnaces as well. This resulted in a new array of alloys one of which we now use. To be honest, its primary use is decorative but it¡¯s an actual alloy we didn¡¯t have before.¡±

    Caw looked at her meaningfully.

    ¡°That¡¯s right. The simple Aat gave <em>us</em> technology! All they needed was a hair dryer, Kara. With just one consumer item they contributed to <em>our</em> tech. The Aat achieved more with that single advancement, that single <em>contribution</em>, than most of the Federation ever will. In fact, the Aat have given us a lot more than that. The contributions they have made to our collective knowledge are immense.¡±

    ¡°The <em>Aat</em>?¡±

    ¡°Yes, those little ¡®stupid¡¯ mop pushers have brought more to the table than most in the Federation. The Aat are perhaps the single greatest living repository of neolithic and bronze-age technology there is. The Kalent were likely better at neolithic technology once but that was long ago. We are still studying and recording the Aat. They have provided us so much tech.¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s all ancient stuff.¡±

    ¡°But a lot of it is technology we didn¡¯t have or that we lost along the way,¡± Caw replied. ¡°And before you ask it¡¯s very important. Knowledge begets knowledge. You might not know the significance of something for years, perhaps generations, but then¡­ BAM! An association is made! Their method of shaping stone or their method of creating a certain cutting surface might have profound implications. Even we are not wise enough to know what we will need to know in the future. It¡¯s the height of hubris and folly to proim ¡®We will never need to know that.¡¯ Here, look at this.¡±

    Caw reached into his jacket and pulled out a stone knife with a wickedly serrated de.

    ¡°Do you know what this is?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡± Karashel said in confusion and thenughed. ¡°Even we aren¡¯t that dense. It¡¯s a knife.¡±

    ¡°Progenitors! You scared me there for a minute,¡± Cawughed. ¡°Yes, it¡¯s a knife, crafted from stone and wood. This was one of the first gifts I received from Bujo and why he is now one of my dearest friends and why I bought the building he operates his business from.¡±

    ¡°You bought him a building because he gave you a knife?¡±

    ¡°No, Kara. I bought him a building because he <em>taught me how to make it</em>, the first of many of his gifts,¡± Caw replied. ¡°And I didn¡¯t ¡®buy him the building¡¯. He leases it. I would give it to him, of course, but Aat have a real problem with getting things for free. It reeks of ''fuckery''. Fuckery is a concept that many in the Federation should embrace. If an Aat sees something too good to be true they immediately start sniffing it. It has kept them from falling into the traps that ensnare many first contact societies. No. Bujo leases the building from me and can call upon me for help dealing with any confusing ¡°star-fuckery¡± thates up but this is his business that he has built with his two little hands. Don¡¯t be fooled by his broken Federation. That Aat is one shrewd little fucker.¡±

    He handed the knife to Karashel.

    ¡°Careful,¡± he said. ¡°That is actually sharper than most des you will handle. It, even though it¡¯s ¡®useless¡¯ ancient stuff, has one additional very very special trait¡­ It isn¡¯t identifiable as a de. In fact, worn properly it¡¯s practically invisible to scanners.¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡±

    ¡°Very wow,¡± Caw chuckled. ¡°And with the right rock and dare to dream a bit of horn or bone I can make one in a few hours and that¡¯s just one of the things I¡¯ve learned from them. Now in this regard they have a bit of an unfair advantage. They just happen to possess loads of lost technology that we want, but it¡¯s their ability to develop their own tech that makes them so special. If they arepletely bewildered by something they leave it alone, but if they understand it, even a little, you can bet their little paws will be very carefully reaching into it as soon as your back is turned.¡±

    ¡°So they innovate? Is that it?¡±

    ¡°Yep. They aren¡¯t content to just beg for scraps like the rest of you,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Where you ask ¡®Can you give?¡¯ they ask ¡®How do you do that?¡¯. Even more importantly they don¡¯t just leave it at that. You give them something and they fucking run with it. A hair dryer turns into new alloys. A few hours long lecture on agriculture bes increased crop yields across the whole, not from blindly copying but from experimenting based on what you told them. Their ¡®scientific method¡¯ is a bit¡­ um¡­ well the Aat make it work, kinda¡­ but they do generate advances at a startling rate¡­ somehow¡­¡± Cawughed. ¡°Astonishingly nowhere near as many of their ¡®scientists¡¯ die than you would think, even if their greatest ¡®tome¡¯ of modern metallurgyes from ¡®Master Naked One-Eye¡¯. In case you are wondering among his many discoveries was a very important observation concerning molten aluminum and water.¡±

    ¡°But isn¡¯t that dangerous? They could damage a reactor or something!¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t stupid,¡± Cawughed. ¡°They will destroy their wife¡¯s hair dryer but they aren¡¯t going to wreck themunity¡¯s irrigation pumps. Besides, what¡¯s more dangerous, blowing the asional thing up or an entire civilization stagnating and having absolutely nothing to offer, nothing to show for centuries of ess to the single greatest repository of knowledge in the known gxy?¡±

    Caw paused for emphasis.

    ¡°And that is the big reason we loathe you so. Almost every single sophont that approaches us is grasping with an empty hand, begging for pre-packaged tech bringing nothing in return. That wouldn¡¯t be so bad if they were asking for knowledge. They aren¡¯t. They don¡¯t want to know. They don¡¯t want to understand. They just want the finished product, another fucking production instruction set. Sometimes they have the gall to skip even that and beg for actual devices!¡± Caw said his voice raising in anger. ¡°Then¡­ Then!¡­ Then they have the gall to use us of hoarding our knowledge, refusing to share it. We did! We gave so much! We, with no expectation of gain, donated almost all of our knowledge! Almost all of our science, mathematics, history, art¡­ all of it is in the fucking archives! All of it! All!¡± he screeched. ¡°It¡¯s all there! Given freely! Given! But do you little fuckers know that? Did you bother to look? You little shits im you want knowledge! You don¡¯t! You want fucking handouts! You want another set of designs you don¡¯t understand to load into a machine you don¡¯t understand!¡± he yelled.

    Unable to contain himself he started to pace.

    ¡°Even then, we could understand. We could forgive. Because with all of the wonders you could build you could enrich the lives of your people¡­ but you don¡¯t! You just take and take and abuse and abuse. You could make system after system of people well provided for and safe but no¡­ NO! That is not what you do! What do you do? Ask the Z¡¯uush! Ask the Kaarst! Ask the Vulxeen! And they have the absolute nerve to ask us for better tools to oppress either their own people or take advantage of others!¡± Caw shouted. ¡°Even the best of you have absolutely nothing to be proud of. Your people, among the best as far as things are concerned, are slowly allowing more and more of your people to slip into poverty every year! Do you care? Clearly you don¡¯t. And yet, race after race approaches and begs for ¡®knowledge¡¯ iming it¡¯s ¡®for their people¡¯. Seriously?!?! <em>Fuck all of you!¡±</em> he screeched.

    ¡°And perhaps worst of all you actually had to ask why we hate you? Are you fucking blind? We like to say there are no stupid questions but damn, Kara¡­ Damn...¡±

    Karashel looked down as Caw gasped for breath. He was right. Even her race was guilty of every single thing he said. The only defense they had was they weren¡¯t as horrible as others.

    ¡°Ok...¡± she said quietly. ¡°I get it. I understand. Thank you.¡±

    <em>Tear it all down...</em>

    Caw flicked his crest. Was she being serious?

    ¡°You thank me?¡±

    ¡°I honestly didn¡¯t know,¡± she said quietly. ¡°I didn¡¯t know so many things. Thank you. I really needed to hear this. We need to change. Not must the Baleel, the whole Federation.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you do¡­ we do,¡± Caw said patting her.

    ¡°It has to happen. We need to change things before its toote.¡±

    <em>Tear it all down...</em>

    ¡°Yes, Kara, things need to change,¡± Caw replied. ¡°The big question is how. Figure that one out and you-¡±

    ¡°By doing whatever we have to do, that¡¯s how,¡± Karashel said with strange quiet voice.

    ¡°Eeee!¡± Caw screeched. ¡°Whoa!... Hold on right there! <em>Stop!¡±</em>

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°That phrase and its infamous sibling, ¡®by any means necessary¡¯ are the most dangerous thoughts in history! Do you have any idea how many people those words have killed across the gxy? Numbers beyond counting! Never ever ever think that way! Seriously! ¡®The greater good¡¯, ¡®by any means necessary¡¯, ¡®the ends justify the means¡¯, these thoughts are horribly dangerous! They are poison that kills the soul and drives people to madness! Good people be monsters and monsters gain strength with those words. Nation after nation, after, empire after empire, have burned, the innocent littering the streets! Nothing justifies ¡®any means necessary¡¯! Nothing! Even if the end result seemed a utopia it would be built on the bones of the innocent and the end result is NEVER a utopia! NEVER!¡­ never...¡±

    <em>He thinks I¡¯m dangerous?</em> Karashel thought in amazement. <em>He thinks I¡¯m dangerous!</em> A strange sense of power washed over her. She actually frightened an elder race with a single phrase! Were those words that powerful? Could a simple idea be that dangerous?

    ¡°I¡¯m fucking serious, Kara,¡± Caw said gravely. ¡°The ends NEVER justify the means. Nothing is worth ¡®by any means necessary¡¯. Do yourself a favor. Study some history. See where that sort of thinking leads. Twentieth century Earth is a fantastic period to study. There are numerous examples of what that thinking produces. Promise me you will do that, Kara. Please. I¡¯m asking you as a friend.¡±

    <em>A friend?</em>

    ¡°Ok, Caw. I will, I promise. I will do it tonight.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± Caw smiled. ¡°Let¡¯s head back.¡±

    ***

    Most of the day was spent when they began their return to ¡°civilization¡±. As the evening began Karashel looked glumly out of the window.

    The ¡°night people¡± were starting to appear. Karashel looked at what was obviously a prostitute standing by the street. Instead of making a disapproving snort and looking away she really looked at her this time.

    While it was a different species, the misery that the poor whore exuded was universal. For the first time Karashel found herself wondering if they were there of their own volition.

    <em>Tear it all down</em>¡­

    She sighed as the scene was reced by more run down streets and shadowy figures. She saw a bus stop and a creature step off and nervously look around before rushing off, trying to stay in the light.

    <em>It¡¯s afraid,</em> she thought. <em>It¡¯s afraid to even be here.</em>

    ¡°You¡¯re awfully quiet,¡± Caw said with a little chuckle.

    ¡°I¡¯m trying not to ask any more questions,¡± Karashel replied with a little snort. ¡°I don¡¯t think I could handle another answer right now.¡±

    ¡°Heh, fair enough,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Seriously though, don¡¯t be too hard on yourself. The Baleel really aren¡¯t doing that badly,paratively speaking.¡±

    ¡°We are better than the Kaarst,¡± Karashel replied grimly, ¡°Yay us!¡±

    ¡°You just need to make a few adjustments, that¡¯s all,¡± Caw said in an attempt to reassure her. He felt a little bad. Karashel was a good little slug. He hoped he hadn¡¯t been too hard on her.

    <em>Tear it all down...</em>

    ¡°Just a few adjustments,¡± she snorted. ¡°Now I¡¯ll make a trillion credit bet with you. No matter what I say or do those little adjustments will never happen and in a few years six percent of the Baleel will live in poverty. It¡¯s pointless.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know that,¡± Caw replied knowing that she was probably right.

    ¡°But you aren¡¯t taking the bet are you?¡±

    Caw looked away.

    ¡°Thought so,¡± Karashel said quietly and returned to staring out of the window.

    <em>By any means necessary...</em> she quivered at the thought. That was a much better way of saying it¡­ and those words <em>were</em> powerful. They made her feel funny.

    A distant rm rang out, its piercing wail punctuating a rather grim car ride. Karashel found herself wondering if it was viiny or simple desperation that set it off.

    ¡°Um¡­ I appreciate you mentioning your ¡®sharrs¡¯,¡± Caw said trying to change the subject. ¡°It¡¯s amazing how that influenced the development of...¡±

    Karashel ¡°smiled¡± politely and tried to pay attention but her heart really wasn¡¯t in it. Thest thing she wanted to hear was how interesting her race once was. Apparently they were very interesting indeed before they shut down and became nd little "homework copiers.¡±

    ¡°¡­ and that directly influenced the development of thorium as opposed to uranium for your fission technology! Quite fascinating! I am definitely going to find out if any of those ancient printing presses have been preserved! If so I will go to your homeworld to look at them myself!¡±

    ¡°Be sure to bring some spare change for the beggars,¡± Karashel replied.

    ¡°Progenitors!¡± Caw snapped in exasperation. ¡°Quit beating yourself! That¡¯s my job! You are taking the fun out of it!¡±

    Karashel chuckled.

    ¡°Sorry, it¡¯s just a lot to process, you know. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°Look, if you are really, truly serious about creating change,¡± Caw said, ¡°I¡¯ll help. The archives have detailed ounts of many, many social transitions both for good and for ill. History is a powerful tool for those who wish to influence policy, Kara. I can point you in the right direction, maybe answer a <em>legitimate request for knowledge</em> from time to time.¡±

    ¡°You would do that, for one of ¡®us¡¯?¡±

    ¡°No, not for one of you, for <em>you</em>,¡± Caw replied. ¡°I hate wasting my time and more importantly our history has more than one example of us trying to help only for it to go horribly wrong. That being said, I think you just might not be aplete waste of my efforts. If you are serious, really serious, about helping your people then yes, I would be willing to advise provided you keep it to yourself!¡± Caw said firmly. ¡°Word gets out and I get mobbed by assholes. That happens and the deal is off.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I really appreciate that, Caw.¡±

    ¡°Think nothing of it,¡± he replied. ¡°I will look into a reading list for you but your first assignment is to take a long hard look at twentieth-century Earth as a cautionary tale. We need to nip that whole ¡®by any means necessary¡¯ nonsense in the bud right now. It is impossible to overstate how fucking dangerous that concept is. Before I do <em>anything</em> to help, you <em>will</em> understand that hazard.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll start tonight!¡± she said with real cheer in her voice.

    Caw smiled. He probably just signed up for far more effort than this was going to be worth but what the hell.

    What¡¯s the worst that could happen?

    ***

    Karashel undted into her apartment and just slumped, her muscles letting go. What a day! She set her lunchbox, still untouched, on the counter and went out to her balcony to tend to her beloved nts.

    As she did she looked out over the city, the shiny spotless, shining capital, the capital that they wanted you to see.

    It was breathtaking. Too bad it was a lie, just like the rest of the Federation.

    <em>Tear it all down...</em>

    She shook her head trying to clear that annoying thought from her mind. It was a silly idea. Caw would yell, or even worseugh, at her for having it. He was right. It isn¡¯t that simple. There are some very real realities that thwart even the elder races. It required a lot of-

    <em>Tear it all down!</em>

    She winced. Creators! She was as silly as Caw thought she was. Tear it all down? It was just an offhandment, an expression of frustration. She didn¡¯t know what a quark was but even she knew that it wasn¡¯t a real suggestion.

    Maybe some tea would clear her head. She undted over to her kitchen and pulled out her trusty tea maker, popped in a pod of grelelle tea, and pressed the touchpad¡­

    And nothing happened.

    ¡°No...¡± she grumbled poking the touchpad again¡­ Still nothing¡­ ¡°You Baleel piece of shit!¡± she grumbled giving the tea maker a shake. Of all the days for this to happen. She needed that tea!

    Wait! The Aat simply boiled those grains to make that tasty beverage! Isn¡¯t that what they used to do before we used tea makers? We just used hot water, right?

    She got her smallest pot, filled it with about a tea mug full of water, and with a little effort tore into one of the tea pods, promptly spilling the contents all across her counter. Scooping it up she swept it into the pot and put it on the cooktop.

    The water started to steam and quickly came to a boil.

    <em>You can tell the cooktop isn¡¯t Balen,</em> she smirked to herself.

    She looked at the boiling water. It was starting to look like tea! She wasn¡¯t sure how long she should boil it so she let it go for a minute or two and then poured it into her cup.

    ¡°See, we aren¡¯t so helpless after all!¡± she said proudly and took a sip¡­

    Of the foulest most bitter tea she had ever consumed.

    ¡°Gah!¡± she snorted trying to spit out small fragments of tea leaves.

    ¡°Great,¡± she muttered, ¡°We¡¯ve lost the ability to make our signature drink. Lovely...¡±

    <em>Tear it all-</em>

    ¡°Oh be quiet,¡± she grumbled, ¡°I can¡¯t even make tea. I¡¯m not tearing down anything.¡±

    The thought evaporated.

    As she was washing out her mouth she looked over at her data terminal.

    <em>I bet I can find out how to make tea!</em> she thought, <em>or at least order a new tea maker</em>.

    She undted over to the terminal. As she powered it up she decided that she should ¡®do her homework first¡¯.

    ¡°Let¡¯s see, twentieth century Sol...¡± she mused as she started to expertly navigate through the archives.

    A lot of the titles were in Terran. She officially could speak it but she wasn¡¯t that great.

    <em>Time to cheat!</em>

    She reached into her desk drawer, pulled out a small device and connected it to her terminal. It powered up and automatically synced with a neural imnt she had connected directly into her sensory structures.

    <em>Automatic trantion function active¡­</em> appeared in glowing letters across her vision.

    She selected a text that imed to be an overview of the century and started plugging away. The trantor was working perfectly! She activated the glossary function and auxiliary image associators that helpfully started pulling up associated information and additional documents.

    Even with all of the technology it was still pretty inessible and slow going.

    She needed a break.

    She smiled. She loved music and what better way to get a feel for a culture than through their music?

    This was a great idea!

    She started to disconnect the neural interface but stopped. It was already connected and the trantion and image associators woulde in handy. Besides, the ¡°sound¡± was way better than her speakers and she could listen as ¡°loud¡± as she wanted without bothering the neighbors!

    She pulled up ¡°Twentieth-Century Music: Sol System: Adapted to Terran¡±.

    A list filled her mind.

    One of the titles was ¡°Rage Against the Machine¡±. She was quite vexed with her tea maker. She wondered if the ancient humans had simr woes.

    She selected the folder and clicked y¡­

    Her eyes dted as the contents queued and started to be delivered... straight down her neural interface and directly into her brain...

    ***

    At lunch the following day Caw saw Karashel at her lunch table and sauntered up.

    ¡°Kara!¡± he called out happily.

    Karashel twitched oddly.

    ¡°Hey, Caw,¡± she said looking up and him blearily.

    ¡°You ok?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ Yeah, I¡¯m fine,¡± she said in an odd voice. ¡°I just didn¡¯t get much sleepst night.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Caw asked ¡°Hitting the books?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, all night,¡± Karashel said looking at him with just one eye. ¡°Terran history¡­ pretty crazy stuff, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes, quite the ride,¡± Caw replied, ¡°And the next century is even wilder! Definitely worth a read! So, did your studies start to put things in proper context?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah...¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Context¡­ so much fucking context¡­ context...¡±

    ¡°And what do you think about ¡®by any means necessary¡¯ now?¡±

    ¡°...<em>dangerous</em>...¡±

    ¡°So, any questions?¡±

    ¡°Maybeter,¡± Karashel said. ¡°Kinda tired right now.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you look beat,¡± Caw replied. ¡°The quest for knowledge is addictive but be sure to at least sleep. A lot of Xx forget that part when they get their first taste. So¡­ did you?¡± Caw asked excitedly, ¡°Did you get your first taste?¡±

    ¡°Oh fuck yeah,¡± Karashel replied lighting up.

    ¡°And how does it feel?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t know how to say it...¡±

    ¡°Ah, I know exactly what you are feeling,¡± Caw said happily.

    <em>I bet you a trillion credits you don¡¯t...</em>

    ¡°I remember the first time I...¡± Caw started cheerfully sharing the first time something really engaged his mind.

    As she listened she looked out over the gardens and at all the fatcent little councilors, engorged with the life blood of their victims, wallowing about like worms and smiled.

    <em>Tear it down¡­ Tear it all down... by any means necessary!</em>

 Chapter Radio Sunshine: Lissa Does the News and Gwen Delivers a Message

    Chapter Radio Sunshine: ''Lissa Does the News and Gwen Delivers a Message

    (Musical intro ys as the station¡¯s logo is disyed)

    ¡®Lissa appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Good afternoon Zaran-7! It¡¯s ¡®Lissa Kay here on Sunshine Radio, your favorite source of music, videos, news, weather, and sports¡­¡±

    ¡®Lissa took a deep breath and looked squarely at the camera.

    ¡°It has been confirmed that the forcesmanded by Jessica Morgan¡­ sorry¡­ <em>General</em> Morgan¡­ have engaged the approaching Federation fleet¡­ and¡­ um¡­ The¡­ the Federation fleet has beenpletely destroyed... <em>Multiple</em> nuclear fusion events have been detected throughout the system¡­ She had nukes, guys. All cruisers, the battleship <em>Formidable</em>, and all troop carriers have been destroyed¡­ Federation casualties (God)¡­ Federation casualties are well in excess of one hundred and fifty thousand¡­ There are reports of fighting on the surface in the vicinity of the Federation forces on the surface here on Zaran-7, however our SDF has stated that they are remaining neutral¡­¡±

    ¡®Lissa took a deep breath.

    ¡°It looks pretty scary, guys. I¡¯m not gonna lie. But things seem fairly calm here on the surface so don¡¯t panic. Thetest SDF safe zones are posted on our website. These are areas that are secured by the SDF and they say that there is plenty of food, water, and beds¡­ courtesy of the Forsaken¡­ The Forsaken have also provided distribution points for medical scanners and other medical supplies. Any licensed medical professionals are promised safe passage and protection. If any hospital or clinic desires it they can contact the Forsaken ombudsman¡¯s office to arrange for armed escort or to have a site-specific drop off. The Forsaken have also issued a statement saying that unjustified attacks on non-humans will not be tolerated and those caught will be subjected to summary execution...¡±

    ¡®Lissa closed her eyes and sighed.

    ¡°Zaran-7 has for all intents and purposes fallen under Forsaken control. There is currently a non-aggression agreement between the Forsaken and the SDF¡­ The SDF¡­ Well, the Forsaken is running the show now, folks¡­ And I¡¯ve been ¡®politely asked¡¯ to state that anyone, healthy or infected, that wishes to join them¡­ Well there is a link on our (bleep)-ing home page now¡­ And, yes, you heard me right, they are epting able-bodied infected. They are organizing ¡®gue ships¡¯¡­ So if you want a chance to¡­¡±

    She red at someone off camera.

    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m not saying that! Look, we put a god(bleep) recruiting link on our web page! What more do they fuc-¡­ I don¡¯t give a (bleep) who they are! I¡¯m doing news, not recruiting! If people want to join they can click the link but I will be damned if I¡¯m going to be their (bleep)-ing dancing monkey. This is <em>Sunshine Radio</em> not Forsaken Butt-buddies Radio!... Well give me the phone and I¡¯ll tell them myself! Hell I¡¯ll do one better!¡±

    ¡®Lissa red at the camera.

    ¡°We are <em>Sunshine Radio</em> your favorite source of music, videos, news, weather, and sports! We are <strong>NOT</strong> Forsaken Butt-buddies Radio! In fact I have my own <em>personal</em> message for our new <em>friends</em>. You can-¡±

    (Musical intro ys as the station logo is disyed)...

    ***

    ¡°¡¯Lissa, no!¡± the queen-captain of the <em>Nothing to See Here</em> cried out in dismay.

    ¡°She¡¯s kibble,¡± themunications officer said. ¡°Gotta admire the tes on that bitch, though.¡±

    ¡°They go after ¡®Lissa and they are getting a spur up their ass!¡± the queen-captain snapped. ¡°I will personally break one off in their¡­ well wherever it is that they don¡¯t want one to go!¡±

    ¡°Looks like the fusion explosions have stopped,¡± the science officer reported. ¡°Nothing but crude gauss cannons now¡­ with <em>chemical explosive payloads</em>? Sourcemother! Why don¡¯t they just throw rocks?¡±

    ¡°Those ¡®rocks¡¯ of theirs are working just fine, Preenx,¡± the tactical officer said as she examined her top-secret ultra-low power colloidal maic ink disys, ¡°Those ¡®rocks¡¯ of theirs can rip a hole right through a shield and then some. It''s weird but I¡¯m pretty sure I¡¯m getting copper emission spectrum lines from the impacts. I think¡­ I think there is a copper secondary projectile of some sort. Never seen anything quite like it but it is doing some serious damage!¡±

    ¡°So they are all they way up to the bronze-age!¡± Preenx snickered.

    ¡°The Feds thought the same thing,¡± the queen-captain chuckled, ¡°and we just saw what happened to them. These ¡®primitives¡¯ have consistently stomped the eggs out of whatever they have faced¡­ including the ¡®others¡¯.¡±

    ¡°But that was the Terrans, not these¡­ what do they call them? Porkies?¡±

    ¡°Same species,¡± the queen-captain replied. ¡°And as much as I hate it, these primitives have a spy-craft out here that is better than us.¡±

    She turned to themunications officer.

    ¡°Any luck finding that little mite?¡±

    ¡°I got nothin¡¯.¡± Vxzxu replied with a little click. ¡°They are a ghost. We got that one (heh) ¡®high-power¡¯ whisper and now they are using some weird porkie-tech oddness.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Vxzxu replied with a touch of admiration in his voice, ¡°From what I can tell, the mite is using a very low-power but highly columnated energy beam of some sort. It spreads out enough by the time it reaches Zaran-7 to nket a decent area but out here it¡¯s probably no wider than Preenx¡¯s butt-hole.¡±

    Preenx replied with a rather vulgar disy of that particr part of her anatomy to the amusement of the bridge crew.

    ¡°Yeah, about like that,¡± Vxzxuughed. ¡°so there is nothing to intercept or locate. All I¡¯m getting are echoes from where it grazes something after spreading out but it is too far away and too weak for me to be able locate the source. There isn¡¯t enough of a signal to even really analyze. I¡¯m just getting fragments which arepletely uncrackable, damn their alien cyphers. I still can¡¯t even figure out what¡¯s a one and what¡¯s a zero.¡±

    ¡°Completely uncrackable,¡± Preenx snickered, ¡°or just uncrackable by <em>you</em>?¡±

    ¡°Thising from the ¡®science officer¡¯ who missed the copper-¡±

    ¡°Would you two <em>please</em> confine your courtship to off-duty hours?,¡± the queen-captainughed to both of their intense difort. The crew chuckled. It was painfully obvious to everyone that they both really had the hots for each other but were just hissing and spitting at each other like two moltlings still unused to their nds.

    ¡°So when you say low-power,¡± the queen-captain asked Vxzxu, ¡°Exactly how low-power are we talking about?¡±

    ¡°Any ship that is receiving the signals has to have the capacity of a Federation astronomical radio-telescope, a good one.¡±

    ¡°We should be able to detect it then. Is there a ship like that out there?¡± the queen-captain asked the tactical officer

    ¡°Nothing really stands out,¡± the tactical officer replied, ¡°which means it isn¡¯t Fed-tech, probably more of their porkie ck-magic.¡±

    ¡°What about the ship engineering drawings they are required to file?¡± the queen-captain asked, ¡°Anything in the Federation Command databases?¡±

    ¡°About those,¡± the tactical officer replied with a spritz of amusement, ¡°While I can¡¯t get a lot of detail this far out, I can get enough to tell you that the humans treated those drawings as a creative-writing exercise. Over half of those ships deviate from their official designs enough for me to see it from here. Fuck, a good percentage of them aren¡¯t even registered, especially those small gunships. From the energy signatures I think those are actually pre-contact believe it or not. Those aren¡¯t Fed thrusters.¡±

    ¡°Sneaky!¡± the queen-captain replied. ¡°I like it!¡±

    ¡°Good news!¡± Vxzxu eximed. ¡°The Forsaken aren¡¯t angry with ¡®Lissa.¡±

    ¡°Thank the Sourcemother!¡± the queen-captain replied as a strongly-scented cloud of relief filled the bridge.

    ¡°In fact, that Colonel Reese guy just told some very frightenedwork piss-ants that she ¡®just got some street cred¡¯ whatever that means. It sounds like a good thing based on context. He told them to keep her on the air.¡±

    ¡°That makes sense,¡± the tactical officer mused. ¡°If ¡®cred¡¯ is short for ¡®credibility¡¯ she definitely established that by being openly defiant. Based on what we know about human psychology it would make her much more believable.¡±

    ¡°Makes her more believable to us as well,¡± the queen-captain replied. ¡°I knew I liked her.¡±

    Momentster the musical intro for Sunshine Radio filled the bridge and ¡®Lissa¡¯s image appeared on the widescreen e-ink main monitor.

    ¡°Ooo!¡± the queen-captain enthused. ¡°She¡¯s back!¡±

    ***

    (Musical intro ys as the station¡¯s logo is disyed)

    ¡®Lissa appeared on the screen.

    ¡°And we¡¯re back!¡± ¡®Lissa said brightly. ¡°I just had a little chat with management and have been told not to share personal messages on the air¡­ Hee hee¡­ So, if any Forsaken want to hear it please contact the station,¡± she said as she shed the camera an impish grin.

    She then looked down at the monitors in front of her.

    ¡°Nothing new on the news front. The SDF holds their security areas and the Forsaken prowl the streets. Oh, and anybody thinking about doing any raping or piging better think twice. The Forsaken have guaranteed the safety of the Zaran people so as they so delicately put it, ¡®unless you want to wind up hanging from a street light, behave yourself.¡¯ Nice to seew and order are still intact, huh?¡­ Wait!¡­ What?!?¡±

    ¡®Lissa stared down at a holo-monitor for a few seconds.

    ¡°Breaking news! The remaining Federation forces have just surrendered! Repeat, the Federation has unconditionally surrendered to the Forsaken!¡­ Hope you know what you are doing, guys,¡± she winced. ¡°ording to Forsaken representatives the surrender will be honored and the well-being of the Federation troops is guaranteed provided theyy down their arms¡­ Jesus, that¡¯s a lot of guns¡­ Guess those AK¡¯s aren¡¯t looking quite so nifty now, huh?¡± sheughed.

    ¡°Ok, we are opening up the lines so <em>we cane together as a</em>,¡± ¡®Lissa said somewhat sternly. ¡°Please keep it civil, folks¡­ please...¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s get the ball rolling with a video call!¡± ¡®Lissa said with a big smile. ¡°You have reached Sunshine Rad-¡­ Oh God(bleep)it...¡±

    ¡°Wooooooo!¡± Gwen, wearing an armoredbat vest, yelled as she brandished an old earth-tech sma thrower, ¡°Miss me, (bleep)?¡±

    ¡°What the (bleep) do you want, you little (bleep),¡±¡®Lissa replied and then looked at the screen curiously. ¡°Are you on a ship?¡±

    ¡°(bleep) yeah! My ship! Woooooooo!¡± Gwen yelled, ¡°I got me a (bleeping) ss Sixteen, baby! You won¡¯t believe the deal I got!¡± sheughed.

    ¡°Let me guess,¡± ¡®Lissa smirked, ¡°It was a ¡®steal¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gwen snorted. ¡°I got a killer deal on it!¡±

    ¡°Christ,¡± ¡®Lissa muttered. ¡°So why are you calling this time? Another promation from on high or are you just here to show off the bodies of some innocent victims again?¡±

    Gwen lunged off screen and drug a very disheveled and frightened looking teenaged boy into frame.

    ¡°See, Ms. Carol,¡± Gwen yelled, ¡°Johnny is just fine! Please stop calling my mom every five minutes! And look!¡± she yelled as she yanked the guy¡¯s shirt up, ¡°Not even a nibble! So. Stop. Calling!¡±

    ¡°You gotta be kidding me,¡± ¡®Lissa muttered as she facepalmed¡­ hard.

    She turned to the clearly terrified teen.

    ¡°Tell her, Johnny,¡± she said. ¡°Tell Ms. Carol that you¡¯re ok!¡±

    ¡°...heh heh¡­ I¡¯m fine, mom¡­ heh...¡± Johnny stammered, ¡°¡­ fine¡­ just fine¡­ heh¡­ fine¡­¡±

    ¡°And?¡± Gwen asked.

    ¡°¡­heh¡­ and I just wanted to let you know, mom¡­ that¡­ that¡­ heh¡­ I¡¯m here of my own free will¡­ heh¡­ absolutely of my own free will¡­ heh¡­. go angels¡­ heh¡­¡±

    ¡°And?¡± Gwen asked with a very meaningful look.

    ¡°...heh¡­ and I¡¯m proud to be a part of the historic events taking ce today¡­ heh¡­pletely¡­ proud¡­ heh¡­ and totally here of my own free will¡­ heh¡­¡± he said looking at Gwen helplessly.

    ¡°Annnnnd?¡±

    ¡°Oh Jesus Christ,¡± ¡®Lissa muttered.

    ¡°And the rest of they guys are ok, too. Mark, and Bill, and Susan¡­ they are all ok and¡­ heh¡­ totally here of their own free will too¡­ heh heh¡­ totally fine with it¡­ happy to help¡­ really¡­¡±

    ¡°See, Ms. Carol,¡± Gwen said with an exasperated sigh, ¡°Johnny is just fine, so are the rest of our nerds so please¡­ please¡­ PLEASE, stop calling my mom! I¡¯m trying to run an operation here so please give it a rest! They are perfectly safe and cane home any time they want to¡­ right, Johnny?¡±

    ¡°heh¡­ Right!¡± Johnny squeaked, ¡°Totally here of our free will and can leave whenever we want!¡­ heh¡­ totally¡­ So please stop calling Gwen¡¯s mom, mom... <em>You are going to make her mad!</em> Please!¡­ please...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m with Johnny on this one, <em>Ms. Carol</em>,¡± ¡®Lissa muttered between the fingers covering her face, ¡°Probably don¡¯t want to tick off mass-murder Barbie over there.¡±

    ¡°Well, I would love to hang out more,¡± Gwen said cheerfully. ¡°but I gotta ship to run!¡±

    With a cheerful wave she terminated the call.

    ¡°And let that be a lesson to you kids,¡± ¡®Lissa said still facepalming. ¡°When the cute girl asks you to hang out after ss make sure that there isn¡¯t an armed insurrection being nned.¡±

    ¡°Ok¡­ Next caller!¡±

    ***

    With a flip of her hair and an exasperated sigh, Gwen put her phone in the pocket of herbat vest and plopped down in the captain¡¯s chair.

    ¡°T-that was good, right?¡± Johnny asked nervously, ¡°You¡¯re not mad, are you?¡±

    ¡°Johnny, rx,¡± Gwen replied. ¡°You are one of my cherubs! I wouldn¡¯t harm one little feather on your teeny-tiny little baby wings.¡±

    ¡°Y-you wouldn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°Of course not,¡± she said in a reassuring voice. ¡°You are one of my peeps! Now go help the other nerdlings pull that transponder and those ship override modules.¡±

    ¡°Y-yes, ma¡¯am!¡± Johnny yelped as he scurried off of the bridge.

    ¡°Such a fucking goofball,¡± she muttered fondly and then turned to the athletic brte manning the helm.

    ¡°Lay in a course 34 by 232 degrees ahead one quarter.¡±

    ¡°Aye-aye, captain!¡±

    ¡°Comms!¡±

    ¡°Captain!¡± an auburn-haired cheerleader replied.

    ¡°Hail the <em>Archangel</em> and inform them that we have secured the vessel and are moving to rendezvous with the fleet¡­ (sigh) And tell Gram-gram that I sent word to Ms. Carol that Johnny is fine. Then contact the SDF and see if they have a shuttle avable for prisoner transfer.¡±

    ¡°Yes Captain!¡±

    She smiled and closed her eyes as a wave ofplete and total self-fulfillment washed over her. When other kids were ying with plush toys she was running around with a toy starship in her hands. From the moment she could turn on a console or boot up a PC almost every single game she yed was a simtor. Thanks to her family¡¯s connections she logged more <em>actual</em> simtor hours than a lot of working spacefarers and had been filling out her qualification cards for multiple posts before she even hit puberty. She might be impossibly green but she was <em>technically</em> qualified tomand. Besides, she took <em>her</em> crew out and took <em>her</em> ship. By all rights, customs, and traditions of what is now the Forsaken the ship was <em>hers</em>!

    This¡­ This is what she dreamed of her whole life! The carnage was¡­ Well, it was fun and all, something you had to do if you wanted to be an Angel, but this¡­ A ship! She had an actual ship! She ran her hands along the arms of her captain¡¯s chair. This was better than sex!

    Not only was it a ship but it was a Federation ss Sixteen, definitely one of the top twenty on her list of favorites! She had really hoped for a ss Twelve but there weren¡¯t any of those in this fleet. Then again, the Sixteen was almost as fast and had a shitload more cargo space and a lot more ces to attach hardpoints so she could live with the ¡®disappointment¡¯. Then again, one of the nice things about piracy is that this is just the ship you have until you grab (or trade for) something better!

    She couldn¡¯t fucking wait!

    ¡°Captain,¡± thems officer said interrupting her near orgasmic bliss, ¡°Um¡­ You are being hailed by Gwen Shay the Elder¡­ She intercepted themunication concerning our request for prisoner transfer¡­ She doesn¡¯t sound happy.¡±

    Gwen winced. She knew Gram-gram would be pissed about that. It was understood that there was not going to be any quarter given. This was supposed to be our big and bloody entrance onto the scene but damn it. When this ship hailed them there was a human on the screen. All she had to do was open up her vest, let them take one look at the tattoo, and then give them ¡°The Word of the Angels¡± that they could all survive if they just surrendered the ship and cargo. All she had to do was walk on board. No casualties and even more important, not even a single scorch mark on the paint!

    If she wanted her to be all stupid and cut her way in guns zing then she shouldn¡¯t have made her read all those books. Sun Tzu himself said to build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across. It worked great!

    ¡°Gah!¡± Gwen huffed. ¡°Put her on the main screen.¡±

    ¡°But don¡¯t you want to-¡±

    ¡°If you think my butt is leaving this seat until I have to pee you have another thinging,¡± Gwen replied. ¡°Put Gram-gram through...¡±

    Gwen Shay the Elder¡¯s wizened and enraged face appeared on the main screen.

    ¡°Hi Gram-gram,¡± Gwen said nervously.

    ¡°You drop that ¡®Gram-gram¡¯ bullshit right fucking now,¡± Shay the Elder snarled. ¡°You ain¡¯t my baby-doll no more! When <em>you</em> took the mark and <em>you</em> decided to run a crew <em>you</em> became an <em>Angel</em>, and when I tell an Angel to kill...¡±

    It went a bit better than she thought it would. Gram-gram was pissed, make no mistake, but once she realized that it was a ¡®business decision¡¯ and not her going soft she was cool with it, not thrilled, but cool. Besides, ¡°Word of the Angels¡± had been given, by a Shay no less, so there wasn¡¯t much Gram-gram could do about it. She might throw her great-granddaughter out of an airlock for it but the deal would be honored.

    After the pissing match was over, she felt that she might not have passed with flying colors but she certainly didn¡¯t fail. The fact that her ship waspletely undamaged, she didn¡¯t lose a single man, and could undertake missions immediately didn¡¯t hurt. That definitely did NOT piss Gram-gram off.

    When it was all over she still had both hermand and her hide intact. She exhaled a relieved sigh and settled into her chair.

    Now if only she could recruit at least one of the nerds¡­

    That would be awesome.

    ***

    ¡°That little shit,¡± Shay the Elder said with the faintest of smiles as the connection was terminated.

    She scowled as she felt the eyes of the entire bridge on her.

    ¡°Hey!¡± she snapped. ¡°If someone, anyone, can take a ss Sixteen without losing a single man AND without putting a single scratch on it they can get away with making amand decision or two... but they had better fucking deliver!¡±

    She looked over at her first mate with a smile.

    ¡°So she says her ship is good to go, eh? She wants to take her ship like a bitch then she can work like one. Have her collect supplies from the damaged freighters and transfer it to the Sargassos. Then, after she gets through with that she can be our shuttle bitch.¡±

    ¡°You want her to do surface runs in a <em>ss Sixteen</em>?¡± her first-mate asked raising his eyebrow as the entire bridge looked at their captain in shock.

    ¡°Hey, if the bitch says she can do any mission,¡± Shay said with an evil smirk, ¡°then she can do any mission.¡±

    <em>And I know for a fact my baby-doll can pull it off,</em> she added silently to herself. Even though a ss Sixteen was technically surface rated nobody actuallynded one unless it was done byputer at a specially rated starportnding pad, not just plopping one down in a field. Even her hardened vets would flinch at the thought of doing it once much less <em>repeatedly</em>. It was a perfect way for her baby-doll to prove her mettle and it was a perfect way for Shay to show that she wasn¡¯t babying her baby. (Which she totally was...)

    ¡°Hoo...¡± the first mate replied. ¡°Yes, Captain.¡±

    ¡°Goddamn...¡± she heard someone quietly mutter.

    Shay the Elder smiled. That''s better.

 Chapter The Bestest Day Ever for Some and the Worst Day of Their Lives for Others.

    Chapter The Bestest Day Ever for Some and the Worst Day of Their Lives for Others.

    Ree sighed happily as she buried her face in the fur of Jaho¡¯s chest.

    ¡°I feel little bad,¡± she sighed.

    ¡°Why you feel bad?¡± Jaho asked looking down at her with concern.

    ¡°Because I know that lots of bad stuff happening,¡± she said looking up at him. ¡°But today the bestest day of my life!¡±

    ¡°I know how you feel,¡± Jaho said with a little chuckle. ¡°It¡¯s my happy day too,¡± he said as he booped her nose with his.

    Ree let out a little giggle and held him tighter.

    ¡°Um, Ree?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s stuff¡­ about me¡­ you need know-¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t care,¡± Ree said cutting him off. ¡°Don¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°But you really need know-¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t im a stupid, Jaho,¡± Ree said looking up at him with earnest eyes. ¡°You can <em>read</em>, not a little bit, you can <em>really read</em>. You pretend you can¡¯t but you can. You can do numbers too, not just one and one or two and two. You can <em>really</em> do numbers. Like when that stupid Fed broke that¡­ water thing?¡±

    ¡°Fire sprinkler. He broke sprinkler and set off all other ones,¡± Jaho replied.

    ¡°See,¡± Ree said, ¡°You know that too. But when we worked all those extra hours, you knew <em>exactly</em> how much we were gonna get paid. You pretended you didn¡¯t but you did. You special to me and I watch you lots. You were doing numbers on your little book and you ask everybody what they got paid. That wasn¡¯t one and one ¡®cause they pay more?¡±

    ¡°Time and a half for first ten hours and then double time after that,¡± Jaho replied.

    ¡°See? You know that too. How you know that?¡±

    ¡°Because it written in contract,¡± Jaho replied and then chuckled. ¡°Yeah. I see what you talk about.¡±

    ¡°To know all that you work like Aat in field for how long?¡± Ree asked, ¡°Whole life?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jaho replied, ¡°whole life.¡±

    ¡°An you know about Terran guns and those more tars and those tubes,¡± Ree continued. ¡°I know what you are. An I don¡¯t care. I wish were just Jaho.¡±

    ¡°I am just Jaho,¡± he replied giving her a hug. ¡°We are just Jaho and Ree.¡±

    ¡°I like that. Just Jaho and Ree,¡± she said wrapping her tail around his and looked at him with a twinkle in her eye, ¡°You know what else I like?¡± she asked as she nibbled at his neck.

    ¡°Me stupid,¡± Jaho smiled as he nibbled her back. ¡°You need show me...¡±

    ***

    Later, as they cuddled, Jaho nudged Ree.

    ¡°Again?¡± she asked hazily.

    ¡°Not again,¡± Jaho replied. ¡°We need get going.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Ree asked. ¡°I like here.¡±

    ¡°We need find food and water.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not hungry¡­ or thirsty...¡± Ree said nuzzling him.

    ¡°If we wait until we are thirsty it toote,¡± Jaho replied. ¡°Unless you want drink ditch water.¡±

    ¡°Me do it at home,¡± she replied with augh.

    ¡°Home clean. You no want ditch water here trust me. ¡®Specially after all mortars and shooting.¡±

    ¡°You know these things,¡± Ree sighed resignedly. ¡°Me want stay here forever.¡±

    ¡°We need leave before trucke anyway,¡± Jahoughed.

    With that he started putting his jumpsuit on. Once Ree was dressed he carefully opened the door.

    ¡°Jaho look!¡± Ree said pointing at the pile of goods sitting beside their dumpster. ¡°Donuts!¡± she eximed happily as she started to climb out.

    Jaho quickly grabbed her and pulled her back inside.

    <em>They crept up on me and I didn¡¯t even know!</em> Jaho thought in rm as he drew a concealed knife, the de made of pure imperial green jade.

    ¡°Keep low, Ree¡± Jaho hissed. ¡°It could be trap!¡±

    ¡°You no stupid so don¡¯t be stupid,¡± Reeughed. ¡°They got right up on us an¡¯ we already in trap! If they wanted hurt us then they hurt us so they no want hurt us.¡±

    <em>She does have a point there.</em>

    ¡°When you so smart?¡± he asked.

    ¡°I always smart,¡± she grinned.

    Jaho peeked out of the dumpster. The coast looked clear so he cautiously crept out. He pressed himself against the ground between two of the recycling dumpsters and looked all around.

    <em>They have to be here somewhere</em>

    He pressed his ear to the ground. No sound and his whiskers didn¡¯t pick up any vibration but then again his ears and whiskers did him no favors when they walked up either. He had no idea that humans (presumably) could be so good. They were Aat good.

    He spared a thought for the nice people at Federation Command. He desperately hoped that they were ok, but against people that could do this? They were in trouble!

    He swiveled his head back and forth and darted forwards and back.

    <em>There!</em> He saw the briefest of shes from a rooftop. <em>Reflection where one shouldn¡¯t be. Passive optics! Humans use ss lenses like we do except theirs are way nicer.</em> He recalled admiring one of their ¡°spotting scopes with range finder¡± at a store. Now that his cover was blown he was definitely going to buy one! He had earned enough to cover it. (He remembered exactly how much it cost.)

    He looked closer. He could just barely make out the slightest bulge on the roofline.

    <em>Sniper!</em> They <em>were</em> Aat good. If he didn¡¯t know <em>exactly</em> what to look for and knew that they <em>had</em> to be there he would have never seen them¡­

    Until it was toote, which it already was. Ree was right. If they wanted to hurt him he wouldn¡¯t have made it a foot out of their rather sticky shelter.

    <em>I shouldn¡¯t let them know I see them. They might decide to keep their location a secret the easy way.</em>

    ***

    ¡°One of our little furry freaks just fucking made me!¡± a quiet feminine voice whispered into an old-style radio handset. ¡°You were right, they¡¯re Aats¡­ or its one <em>really</em> freaky Aat and something else...¡±

    ¡°And here I was thinking you were good,¡± an ancient voice snickered in response. ¡°So how many times have they done it?¡±

    ¡°I have better things to do than watch low-rez furry porn, sir...¡±

    ***

    Inside their dumpster Ree and Jaho went through the boxes.

    ¡°nkets!¡± Ree said happily as she opened a box. ¡°We make proper nest!¡±

    Jaho surveyed the haul. nkets, food (both preserved rations and snacks), plenty of water, a tablet¡­ those all made sense.

    But why were there ponchos in there?

    He pulled out a waterproof pouch and squealed when he opened it despite himself. Inside was a paper map and apass! He had no idea that humans used them!

    It was beyond nice too! It was <em>super nice</em>, the nicestpass he ever saw!

    He turned on the tablet. When he did an old human¡¯s face appeared.

    <em>Hello. I¡¯m Captain Perkins with the Forsaken. Most of the items should make sense but you are probably wondering about the garments. Your clothing, while not a Federation uniform looks entirely too simr to one for your safety and contains a marker strip that can be picked up on a scanner. Ditch them. We¡¯ve had a couple of¡­ unfortunate incidents¡­ involving fleeing contractbor. Don¡¯t worry. No Aats were killed but a couple picked up some shrapnel and one caught a needle before we knew they weren¡¯t Feds. We patched them up, got them to a medical unit, and they will be just fine. Everyone should know about you guys by now, but yeah, ditch the outfits.</em>

    <em>The tablet has full connectivity. We rmend Sunshine Radio for thetest information.</em>

    <em>Oh, in case you are wondering, your friends at the Federation Command Post are fine. The Colonel had the good sense to surrender. We are in the process of rounding them up and they will be treated as per the Geneva Convention. That¡¯s good by the way. They won¡¯t be harmed unless they decide to be stupid.</em>

    <em>There is an email address preloaded in the tablet. That goes to our ombudsman¡¯s office. You need to get in touch for some reason you can send an email there. If you can¡¯t read or write you can send a voicemunication. Just say my name and it will get to me.</em>

    <em>We¡¯ve given you enough supplies so you can stay put for a few days. Do that. You are in one of our patrol zones and perfectly safe. The Forsaken troops won¡¯t harm you but we are having a problem with some of the unaffiliated. Between us and the SDF we should have the entire city secure in a few days so kick back, rx, and¡­ keep enjoying each other¡¯spany.</em>

    The message ended.

    ¡°These Forsaken people are so nice!¡± Ree eximed happily as she opened a box of donuts.

    Jaho didn¡¯t see a reason to correct her.

    ***

    The Prime Minister of the Federation slumped in his chair holding his face in his hands.

    Standing in front of him were an assembly of Generals and Admirals.

    ¡°...How?¡± he asked helplessly. ¡°How could this be happening?¡±

    ¡°Prime Minister,¡± one of the generals said urgently, ¡°you need to evacuate. Now.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t!¡± the Prime Minister snapped. ¡°If I run, Jessica Morgan wins two victories today! It will get out! The Prime Minister flees? It will be a political disaster! I might as well step down!¡±

    <em>You might as well step down anyway,</em> the general thought to himself.

    ¡°I urge you to reconsider,¡± the general said wiping stress ooze from his optical pits. ¡°Current intel shows that the local human poption-¡±

    ¡°Crush them!¡± the Prime Minister shouted. ¡°Pull them from their homes and drag them down the fucking street!¡±

    ¡°That is extremely inadvisable,¡± Admiral Koo stated. ¡°Details are extremely scant but Colonel Xx¡¯vkk managed to get a message out that stated that the porkies used Terran style nuclear weapons. If they have them here...¡±

    ¡°How did they get nukes?!?¡± the Prime Minister squeaked.

    ¡°Well they are humans and fusion explosive technology is something that significantly predates the Sol Wars,¡± Admiral Koo replied. ¡°It is entirely possible that they could manufacture them, however, it is much more likely that they were purchased on the ck market. After all, the Z¡¯uush obtained them in significant numbers and we can only assume that the human criminal syndicates have even better connections.¡±

    ¡°That is before we even consider their conventional offensive capacity,¡± a general said. ¡°Reports from human enves show them inflicting heavy casualties on our troops and local system defense forces. In fact the losses have been near total in several-¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible!¡± the prime minister shouted. ¡°There is NO WAY an unarmed rabble could-¡±

    ¡°They have obtained massive numbers of Terran AK¡¯s and top of the line ammunition,¡± the general replied. ¡°In many cases almost the entire poption was armed. They also have heavy weapons and are capable of improvising a type of explosive device that is capable of destroying a grav-tank. Mixed in with the Terran arms are a disturbing amount of very high power gauss and particle beam weapons and a device that generates a sustained stream of sma that at close range is capable-¡±

    ¡°HOW!¡± the prime minister screamed.

    ¡°Somehow they managed to obtain and distribute both arms and very skilled military personnel with a speed that staggers the imagination,¡± Admiral Koo stated. ¡°It¡¯s a logistical masterpiece!¡± he eximed with a touch of admiration in his voice.

    ¡°Masterpiece?!?! Masterpiece?!?! More like master fuck up! How did you not detect this?!?! Why didn¡¯t you stop it?!?¡±

    ¡°Prime minister,¡± the admiral said in a condescending tone. ¡°Are you aware of exactly how much shipping goes into and out of a system on a regr basis? Are you also aware that the groups at the head of this war are behind a great deal of the smuggling of ck market goods, especially drugs, across the Federation? They have been eluding us for years. They are masters of it.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t a war!¡± the prime minister shouted. ¡°This is just a bunch of criminal scum that-¡±

    ¡°With all due respect, <em>sir</em>,¡± the admiral replied turning a ugly shade of dark green, ¡°We just lost over half a million men in a single day. Even the <em>Terrans</em> didn¡¯t do that. This isn¡¯t a mob or a rabble. This isn¡¯t civil unrest. This isn¡¯t even an insurrection. Prime Minister, this is <strong>war</strong>. We dered a war that we werepletely unprepared for on a real army and a real fleet. We lost five battleships today! Four in one engagement! That¡¯s a <em>fifth</em> of our entire capital ship fleet. They wiped them out and didn¡¯t even break a sweat¡­ <em>sir</em>. The entire <em>Retribution</em> battle group didn¡¯t take out four battleships at once, <em>ever</em>.¡±

    ¡°That is clearly due to ipetence!¡± the prime minister shouted.

    ¡°No, <em>sir</em>,¡± the admiral hissed turning nearly ck. ¡°That is clearly due to backing a species that we <em>knew</em> was dangerous as the void itself into a corner. You want to me someone, me the <em>monsters</em> that tried to make them extinct!¡±

    The admiral drew himself to his full height.

    ¡°And while you are at it, me the moron who decided to order a fucking military parade into hostile space without giving sufficient time to generate a proper n of action or gather any real intelligence, <em>sir</em>,¡± he said as he gave the Vulxeen Admiral of the Navy a disdainful nce.

    The Vulxeen red at Admiral Koo but Admiral Koo paid him no heed and once again turned to face the prime minister.

    ¡°me the people who forgot that Jessica Morgan used to be <em>General</em> Jessica Morgan. me the person who, even when the ¡®Devil of Sol¡¯ called with tears in her eyes begging them to negotiate, chose to attack rather than have a single shred of ¡®human¡¯ decency. Yeah,¡± the admiral literally spat as he saw the shocked and horrified expression on the prime minister¡¯s face, ¡°We know about that. me the <em>creature</em> that clearly wanted a massacre, that clearly wanted to continue the <em>progrom</em> that his depraved buddies intentionally designed,¡± the admiral snarled stepping forward. ¡°but don¡¯t you DARE me my men.¡±

    <em>¡°How dare you!¡±</em> the prime minister spluttered.

    ¡°And while I¡¯m on the subject,¡± the admiral said with a sneer, ¡°You want to know the <em>real</em> reason why the generals over here don¡¯t want to send forces into porkie town? They don¡¯t want to <em>lose</em>, because if they do there will be nothing to stop the porkies from <em>sacking</em> the entire city! They have their forces staged in <em>defensive</em> positions around the government district and are praying that the porkies don¡¯t get bored waiting for us because if they have half the weapons and troops we think they do in there we can¡¯t stop them if they do.¡±

    The generals shifted ufortably as they looked at each other and stared daggers at the admiral.

    ¡°Is¡­ Is this <em>true</em>?¡± the prime minister asked the generals in horror.

    It only took one look at them to tell him the answer.

    ¡°Prime Minister,¡± one of the generals said calmly. ¡°I urge you to reconsider evacuation. We can say it¡¯s because of the nuclear threat¡­ We can keep it covert. Nobody has to know you left the capital...¡±

    ¡°The fucking Xx will know,¡± the prime minister replied grimly. ¡°So will the Kalent...¡±

    The prime minister took a deep breath.

    ¡°No. I will remain here,¡± the prime minister said. ¡°The whole Federation is going to be shaken when word of this gets out. I flee the capital and it is a public rtions nightmare of historic proportions and I don¡¯t just mean my career this time. I <em>can¡¯t</em> leave.¡±

    The prime minister closed his eyes and sighed.

    ¡°Evacuate the Deputy Prime Minister and the Minister of Defense ,¡± he said, ¡°We need to ensure a smooth transition if something¡­¡±

    He let out a ragged breath.

    ¡°If something happens to me,¡± he said grimly. ¡°Now go and do¡­ whatever it is that you need to do. I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not¡­ Just¡­ Just go,¡± he said in a tired, defeated voice.

    The prime minister was soon alone in his office. He buried his head in his hands and slowly rocked back and forth.

    ***

    As the mob of generals and admirals exited the building the Admiral of the Navy turned to confront Admiral Koo.

    ¡°You are relieved ofmand effective immediately,¡± the Vulxeen snarled.

    ¡°Great,¡± the other admiral smiled. ¡°I was hoping you would do that.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m returning home,¡± the admiral said turning a triumphant shade of purple. ¡°If you think I¡¯m supporting the sick joke that the Federation has be you are as stupid as they say you are behind your back. My people''s SDF is a lot more worthwhile than trying to keep you and your toadies from drowning in your own spit.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll personally see to it you never get amission again! You won¡¯t even be able to captain a <em>fucking freighter!¡±</em>

    ¡°Then I¡¯ll enlist.¡±

    Admiral Koo ripped off his insignia, flipped it into the Admiral of the Navy¡¯s chest, and walked off.

    ***

    Karashel and Caw were sitting at her favorite lunch spot.

    ¡°This <em>is</em> a nice spot,¡± Caw said as he opened an insted sk and poured himself a cup of Xx tea, ¡°You seem better today. Finally got some sleep?¡±

    ¡°Reluctantly,¡± Karashel smiled as she popped a grain encapsted pickle into her mouth and started working it over with her rad. ¡°Twentieth-century Earth history is so <em>fascinating</em>!¡±

    ¡°It must be convenient for your voice box to be separate from your digestive tract like that,¡± Caw said with an amused flick of his crest. ¡°So, do you see the horror that ¡®by any means necessary¡¯ produces?¡±

    ¡°Well, to a certain extent.¡±

    ¡°<em>To a certain extent?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Karashel said reaching for another ¡®rice ball¡¯, ¡°millions did indeed die and in a most unpleasant fashion but after the admittedly horrific short-term adjustment period billions thrived. The conditions that birthed those movements needed to be changed andter, after the dust settled-¡±

    ¡°That isn¡¯t the point!¡±

    ¡°Just an observation,¡± Karashel said calmly. ¡°By the twenty second century even Communist China gave way to much improved-¡±

    ¡°After their third world war! Over two billion dead!¡±

    ¡°Yes, and that is certainly unfortunate, but in the years that followed, how many benefited from their sacrifice? World War Three fundamentally changed Earth¡¯s entire culture for the better!¡±

    ¡°At the cost of over two billion innocent lives!¡±

    ¡°And how many lives were saved afterwards? That was thest major war until the Sol Wars a thousand yearster. A thousand years of peace and prosperity, Caw. Their golden age started right then, born from the fires of that horrible conflict.¡±

    Caw looked at Karashel in horror. This wasn¡¯t the point that he hoped to make at all. Images of what happenedst time the Xx tried to ¡°help¡± shed across his mind. He desperately hoped he wasn¡¯t repeating history.

    ¡°But what about the Arrazeen?¡± he asked.

    ¡°The Arrazeen?¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have heard of them because they aren¡¯t here anymore,¡± Caw replied. ¡°If twentieth century Earth wasn¡¯t enough to put you off of your lunch then they most certainly will. Look them up.¡±

    ¡°I will!¡± Karashel said brightly.

    ¡°And returning to Earth,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Violent upheaval wasn¡¯t the only way significant progress was made. What about Ghandi and Martin Luther King? They achieved change every bit as significant without wrecking havoc.¡±

    ¡°True,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°And to be honest, they and others like them are far better examples to follow when instigating meaningful social change. I was just making an observation, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°A chilling one!¡±

    ¡°But if I¡¯m going to truly study this I need to be able to look at it objectively, right? For example you can¡¯t look at Nazi Germany in a vacuum. You have to look at the conditions both in Europe and in Germany itself before, during, and after the Second World War to get the full picture. I mean World War Two effectively brought an end to European colonialism arguably one of the big evils of the age and that wouldn¡¯t have happened without the Nazis.¡±

    <em>European colonialism?</em> Caw thought to himself. He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. He looked at Karashel with both horror and awe this time. <em>Exactly how fast can a Baleel learn when it wants to?</em>

    ¡°Exactly how many hours have you spent-¡±

    ¡°All of them!¡± Karashel eximed as she stuffed her face. ¡°I¡¯m either studying or sleeping!¡±

    Caw smiled. Her enthusiasm for acquiring knowledge was so endearing! He was probably worrying over nothing. She did say that Martin Luther King and Ghandi¡¯s methods were the best after all. Also, to be honest, some of her observations made a disturbing amount of sense. It showed that she was actively learning and looking at the material objectively and reasonably, and any reasonable, objective sophont would definitelye to the proper conclusions in the end.

    She was a good person. That was obvious. She just needed a little guidance.

    ¡°We have a word for what you are experiencing, ¡®Xvakk¡¯Keen¡¯, knowledge mania,¡± he smiled. ¡°The inrush of information can be like a drug for us and can be every bit as dangerous. Take care to moderate both your hours and your thoughts... Otherwise you will wind up like a certain Xx who had to be dragged kicking and screaming out of a library by mental health professionals and spent the next month babbling to the nice people in the recovery gardens about how it¡¯s possible to open a hyperspace portal with just your mind.¡±

    <em>¡°</em><em>Seriously?</em>¡± Karashelughed.

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Cawughed. ¡°I had graphs and everything!¡±

    They bothughed for a little while.

    ¡°So no coup attempts!¡± heughed poking her.

    ¡°Got it, professor!¡± she giggled.

    <em>It won¡¯t be an attempt...</em>

    Karashel flinched at the intrusive thought. She was being silly again. I mean both the Kalent and the Xx have tried and failed. What could she do?

    ¡°You really picked up a lot of information incredibly quickly,¡± Caw said in admiration as he pulled out his crystalline tablet. ¡°You must have found have found some really good documents! What did you find-¡±

    His tablet started making a pinging sound.

    ¡°Sorry, I <em>have</em> to take this call,¡± he said as he rose and took a few steps away.

    ¡°Matriarch!¡± he eximed in a jovial manner. ¡°How¡¯s the grub worm?¡­ She doesn¡¯t?¡± heughed, ¡°So what order does she want to join?¡­ Academics! Excellent! What subject matter?¡­ Oh don¡¯t be like that! Theoretical physics is a fine endeavor¡­ No it most certainly has not been ¡®done to death¡¯. There is so much yet to explore!¡­ Well, a juvenile¡¯s desire to rebel is as universal as the speed of light in a vacuum. My own son is still pursuing professional athletics for the Progenitor¡¯s sake so be grateful that she is at least doing something worthwhile!¡­ Oh?¡­ I¡¯m not entirely sure if we share the same sense of humor¡­ A data file? I¡¯m not overly eager to have a virus install bug porn into every single device I own again¡­ No, that wasn¡¯t funny! It attached to a report I submitted to the homeworld, you anus!¡­ I actually sent a porn virus to-¡­ It most certainly was not ¡®hot¡¯¡­ (snicker) Well, ok, maybe it was a little funny. Did I ever tell you how many resources we devoted in order to prove that the Xx involved in those explorations of interspecies congress were in factputer generated?¡­ We had to! How else were we going to sleep at night? Oh, I have a message from the Xx homeworld for you, ¡®We shall be repaying you in kind.¡¯¡­¡±

    Karashel tried very hard not to eavesdrop, or giggle. <em>Who would dare do that to the Xx?</em>

    ¡°Oh, <em>actual</em> official business? Alright, send the file¡­ Got it. I¡¯m reviewing it now...¡±

    Caw pulled up images of the Federation fleet entering the Raylesh system. He grimaced and made an unpleasant sound.

    ¡°What?¡± Karashel asked without thinking.

    ¡°I¡¯m watching footage of the Federation Fleet entering the Raylesh system,¡± Caw said with distaste. ¡°The Federation certainly did not spare any expense. When they said overwhelming force they meant it. The humans are going to be crushed.¡±

    ¡°Figures,¡± Karashel muttered angrily. ¡°How dare they try to survive without Federation approv-¡± She was cut off by a loud screech from Caw. He gripped his tablet so hard it was shaking.

    A strange voice, the likes of which Karashel never heard before could clearly be heard saying, ¡°Surprise!¡±

    ¡°What! What?¡± Karashel asked.

    Caw made no reply. He just stood there stock still watching the tablet.

    ¡°Progenitors...¡± he gasped shuddering. ¡°Do you know how many-¡­ Oh by the ancient gardeners!¡­ And Zaran?¡­ I¡¯ll watch itter¡­ And what of the enves?¡­¡±

    Caw shook his head sadly.

    ¡°Well, it was only to be expected that they would fight but the nightmarish extent of it all¡­¡±

    ¡°The humans fought?¡± Karashel asked with a mix of awe and horror. They would be massacred! She hoped that they will fight with courage. Of course they will. It will be like the Warsaw Ghetto all over again but they will fight! They will lose but the Feds will know that they were there!

    She silently uttered a prayer for the humans.

    ¡°Yes, I will pass this along to the homeworld,¡± Caw said quietly. ¡°Thank you for the intelligence. I can¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t speak freely here,¡± Caw said looking over at Karashel. ¡°but we need to discuss this in detail¡­ No the news hasn¡¯t hit here yet¡­ I hadn¡¯t considered that. I will vacate the area immediately! I will contact you when I am at the embassy and could you please stopughing. It¡¯s distasteful and NONE of this is remotely humorous! I will speak to youter. Farewell.¡±

    Caw turned to Karashel.

    ¡°We¡¯re leaving, now! Come on!¡±

    ¡°What? Why?¡±

    ¡°The humans¡­ they¡­¡± Caw paused to gather himself. ¡°The humans havepletely destroyed both main Federation expeditionary fleets.¡±

    ¡°<em>What?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°It was a massacre. All contact with ground forces on both Raylesh and Zaran have been lost. Every single human enve where the Federation has tried to enter... There are massive casualties being inflicted in every single¡­ Over half a million dead and the number is climbing by the second! We, we have to leave! We aren¡¯t safe here!¡±

    Karashel started to pack up her lunch.

    ¡°Leave it!¡± Caw screeched. ¡°They have nukes! This ce could be vaporized any second! The Xx embassy is designed to withstand a st. We¡¯ll go there!¡±

    Karashel grabbed her lunchbox and they both started to run. Karashel quickly fell behind.

    ¡°Fuck it!¡± Caw screeched and pulled out his tablet.

    Momentster his car decloaked right in front of them.

    ¡°Get in!¡± he yelled.

    Karashel rushed to climb in. She tried to keep her expression even but inside she was grinning from ear to ear, and her very soul was singing.

    <em>...Now in darkness world stops turning,</em>

    <em>Ashes where the bodies burning</em>

    <em>No more War Pigs have the power,</em>

    <em>Hand of God has struck the hour</em>

    <em>Day of judgment, God is calling</em>

    <em>On their knees the war pigs crawling,</em>

    <em>Begging mercies for their sins</em>

    <em>Satan,ughing, spreads her wings</em>

    <em>Oh Lord yeah!</em>

    "Oh Lord yeah," she whispered.

 Chapter Enclaves

    Chapter Enves

    Narva-6

    Human Poption: 1278

    Primary upation: Agriculture

    Primary Product: Vitamin Enriched Rice, Strain 13b

    Actual Product: Coca Leaves

    Colony Ownership: Aster Agri Corp

    Actual Owner: Void Gazers

    Sergeant Gluush of the Federation Expeditionary Force took cover behind a rotting log, trying to press himself into the mud.

    They hadn¡¯t even managed to make it to the farmplex, still eight kilometers away. Massive explosions had wrecked all of the APC¡¯s in their convoy sending them tumbling into the swamps below.

    They knew to expect homemade bombs. These were humans after all. Their skill with crude chemical explosives was well known but they were told not to worry. Their APCs were heavily shielded and armored. It would take a st from a grav-tank to stop one of them, and they were flying over a hundred meters above the marshy ground, well beyond the range of even their infamous shaped charges.

    It didn¡¯t matter. One second they were closing in on the farms and the next¡­ There was the shriek of an rm and then¡­ BOOM. There was a huge hole in the APC and they were falling¡­

    And over half of his squad was dead. They lost two more who couldn¡¯t get free of their ¡°safety restraints¡± before the APC sank into the mire.

    In seconds, theirpany was decimated with the stunned survivors cowering behind whatever they could find trying to figure out exactly what just happened.

    ¡°Sergeant!¡± a voice shrieked.

    The sergeant winced. Why hadn¡¯t the captain been one of those killed?

    ¡°Sir?¡± the sergeant replied as the captain waded up.

    ¡°You will stand and salute when addressed by a superior officer!¡±

    ¡°Sir, please get down!¡±

    ¡°Sergeant!¡±

    The sergeant reluctantly stood and saluted the captain. As he did so he noticed something strange.

    Someone had cut the some of the limbs of a nearby thurga tree.

    Nine-hundred meters away a barrel, wrapped in something resembling moss, slowly shifted by a few degrees.

    ¡°Sergeant, gather the men and prepare to march to that rise.¡±

    ¡°Are you certain, sir? That would put us-¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the only solid groun-¡±

    The sergeant stood open mouthed in horror as the top third of hismanding officer disappeared, spraying him with a light green liquid.

    A momentter he tried to dive for cover.

    He wasn¡¯t fast enough.

    ***

    Keel Orbital

    Human poption: 130

    Primary upation: Misc.

    Colony Ownership: None

    Actual Owner: Unaffiliated

    The remaining shreds of the station security, the system SDF, and the six Federation military personnel still left alive were throwing tables, chairs, boxes¡­ basically anything they could lift, into an elongated pile.

    It was supposed to be so easy. The humans had all withdrawn into a few sub-sections on level twelve. The station security sealed off the area and the SDF, backed by the Federation, were then going to sweep through the area, detaining all of them in preparation for deporting the lot of them to Raylesh after they subdued the system.

    That¡¯s not what happened.

    ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± The station manager shrieked in dismay.

    ¡°What does it look like?¡± a Federation lieutenant snapped. The lieutenant turned to a wounded trooper who was hunched over an instrument panel. ¡°How are you doing, son?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll live, sir,¡± the trooper said and thenughed. ¡°until they finish the job.¡±

    ¡°Any luck getting through?¡±

    ¡°No, sir,¡± the trooper replied. ¡°Those blighted porkies have locked down the whole station.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± the station manager yelped.

    ¡°Hackers, good ones.¡± the trooper replied. ¡°They own the station now.¡±

    ¡°Who were those guys?¡± an SDF officer, bleeding from multiple punctures in one of his arms and torso as he slumped against the wall, asked.

    ¡°The ones in gray?¡± the lieutenant asked, ¡°No idea. All I know is that they are spawnfuckers.¡±

    ¡°The who?¡± the station director asked.

    ¡°There are these guys in lightbat armor with mottled gray coverings,¡± the lieutenant replied. ¡°You can¡¯t see them on scanners and they are <em>deadly</em>. They were calling the shots and once we tried to run, they were the ones giving chase.¡±

    ¡°Terrans?¡± the director asked. ¡°I heard-¡±

    ¡°No,¡± the lieutenant replied. ¡°Only the rabble had AK¡¯s. These guys were packing energy weapons that I¡¯ve never seen before. I¡¯m not sure if they are sters, gauss rifles, or something in between. Whatever they are they will punch a hole in you big enough to step through.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll get to see them soon enough,¡± a trooper said as he slowly limped behind the makeshift barrier.

    ¡°Where did they-¡± the director started to ask before cut short by a loud explosion.

    The hatch blew off its hinges and flew into the room.

    The lieutenant thought of his wife as he uttered a silent prayer to his ancestors.

    <em>Gods of my father, Gods of my mother¡­ Let me fight with honor¡­ Let me die proudly...</em>

    A cylinder shot into the room filling the space with a strange shimmering smoke.

    The lieutenant activated the scanners in his helmet. It was useless.

    He heard many running footsteps approaching. He dropped his gun and drew a ceremonial de.

    A human hurtled over the barrier with ease, bearing down on him.

    <em>A de attached to his weapon!</em> the lieutenant thought in amazement as he assumed a fighting stance. <em>That¡¯s genius!</em>

    A secondter hisst thought was, <em>Was this enough to please my ancestors?</em>

    ¡°Clear!¡± a gray d soldier shouted.

    ¡°Clear!¡± another one replied.

    An old man walked in wearing a Raylesh SDF uniform. Underneath the SDF designation there was a strip of gray cloth with the letters ¡°USMC¡± embroidered on it. On his left shoulder he wore a patch bearing an eight-rayed star with an eye in the middle. On the right was a worn patch bearing three swords going through a star.

    ¡°Good work, devil-dogs!¡± he eximed. He pulled out hismunicator.

    ¡°We got thest of them.¡± he reported.

    ¡°Took you long enough, Gunny,¡± an old woman snorted.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am, they can¡¯t fight worth a fuck but they sure as hell can run,¡± the old marine chuckled.

    ¡°Move to point Omega, Cover the unaffiliated while we do a little shopping.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ***

    Capital City

    Human poption: 125,000+

    Primary upation: Misc. with focus on light industry.

    Colony Ownership: None

    Actual Owner: Unaffiliated

    Colonel Laurent looked at the map and released a frustrated sigh. They weren¡¯ting.

    This wasn¡¯t good.

    ¡°They are probably calling for reinforcements,¡± he said in French to a nearby officer.

    ¡°Good luck getting them,¡± the silver haired woman snorted. ¡°I suspect they might be a little short-handed at the moment, sir.¡±

    The colonel carefully examined the map. The Federation forces were well positioned and enjoyedplete air superiority.

    Leaving their positions and moving to engage them would be suicide.

    He let out a chuckle. They were trapped in a trap of their own design. They couldn¡¯t leave porkie town without exposing themselves and remaining here was suicide. The Federation could simply keep them pinned down until they massed sufficient force to stage a sessful assault.

    Not good.

    An iridescent green Jova walked into the room.

    ¡°Hak¡¯ kl!¡± Colonel Laurent eximed.

    ¡°Hak¡¯ lolr!¡± the Jova replied and then twitched his mandibles in a smile, ¡°I was expecting a bit more excitement today.¡±

    ¡°Me too,¡± the colonel chuckled. ¡°Goddamn Feds are actually acting with foresight and intelligence. This unexpected development is most inconvenient.¡±

    ¡°Who woulda thought,¡± the Jova replied.

    ¡°I thank your people for the intelligence, Major¡± the colonel said after a moment. ¡°It has been most useful.¡±

    ¡°Think nothing of it,¡± the jova said with a smile, ¡°we take a rather dim view of genocide¡­ Though after today perhaps we should start supporting the Feds instead. How much blood does it take to ke your thirst?¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t about blood,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°We are trying to damage the Federation¡¯s ability to fight. We can¡¯t hope to cripple their fleet but their ground forces¡­ that we can do. Theymitted enough of their troops that we have a very real opportunity to significantly diminish their capacity. Even though we haven¡¯t killed nearly enough to cripple them we have done enough damage that they won¡¯t risk additional units quite so readily.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± the Jova replied. ¡°Working with you has been most educational.¡±

    ¡°You think this is educational,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°just wait. We have so much to teach your people.¡±

    ¡°I am eagerly looking forward to that,¡± the Jova replied. ¡°My bags are already packed. The wife is less than pleased, though.¡±

    ¡°You could bring her along, you know.¡±

    ¡°Absolutely not,¡¯ the Jovaughed. ¡°I will happily risk my hide but there is no way I¡¯m bringing my family to Raylesh¡­ I¡¯m sorry,¡± the Jova winced, ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to-¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°We¡¯re used to this. We¡¯re porkies. Nowhere is safe. At least on Raylesh they can befortable while they wait for the inevitable.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ so,¡± the Jova said ufortably, ¡°is there anything you humans need? Any supplies?¡±

    ¡°We are doing quite well at the moment,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Please pass along our gratitude to all of the enves. In fact,¡± the colonel smiled, ¡°could you please ask people to stop sending us stuff? Every single food preservation unit is stuffed to bursting.¡±

    ¡°We feed our worries,¡± the Jovaughed, ¡°and it seems that we aren¡¯t the only species with that drive. I will pass the word along. Let us know when our grandmothers can break out the stew-pots once more.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± the colonelughed, ¡°we will.¡±

    ¡°To change the subject,¡± the Jova said, ¡°I do have several requests for training units from a number of species. It seems we aren¡¯t the only ones who are¡­ concerned¡­ by recent events. I also have several other races that want to be added to the ¡®list of friends¡¯ and wish to know what that would entail.¡±

    ¡°Damn,¡± the colonelughed, ¡°At this rate we there will be nobody left for our pirates.¡±

    ***

    Kestra-3

    Human Poption: 2518

    Primary upation: Mining

    Primary Product: Rare earth minerals

    Secondary Product (Covert): Uranium

    Colony Ownership: Hass-Reek Mining Corp

    Actual Owner: Morgan Enterprises

    Major jK-Beel stepped onto a makeshift tform in front of his expeditionary force.

    ¡°Listen up!¡± he shouted. ¡°We are about to go on our first sortie against the humans entrenched in the Kee Mine. I¡¯m not supposed to tell you this¡­¡±

    The major inhaled a deep steadying breath.

    ¡°Due to logistics issues our attack has been a bit dyed rtive to the other ¡®police actions¡¯ across the Federation¡­ Things have¡­ Well, they haven¡¯t gone well.¡±

    He paused as the muttering resided.

    ¡°They haven¡¯t gone well at all. In fact, it¡¯s been aplete shit-show. I don¡¯t know all the details but the reports are pretty grim, especially on the ground. The humans are not only resisting they are doing a damned good job of it. This IS NOT going to be a summer stroll. We need to expect determined, armed resistance.¡±

    He scowled at some amused snickering and ¡°They¡¯re gonna die¡¯s¡±.

    ¡°Stow it!¡± he shouted. ¡°I¡¯m fucking serious! The entire Raylesh and Zaran expeditionary fleets have beenpletely wiped out!¡±

    The room fell into a shocked silence.

    ¡°We¡¯ve lost contact with Raylesh, Zaran, and a dozen human enves. The ones that we are still in contact with report horrific losses!¡±

    The major activated a holo-projector.

    ¡°This information is being officially suppressed because they are afraid of losing morale,¡± the major shouted. ¡°Well, I¡¯m more fucking concerned with losing men! You need to know exactly what we are heading into and it is NOT good.¡±

    He waved his hand and an image of a Raylesh SDF soldier inbat armor appeared.

    ¡°There are reports of what appear to be actual military units mixed in with the locals in all enves,¡± he bellowed. ¡°I hope to every hell in all of your belief systems that I¡¯m wrong but, based on the carnage, I think it¡¯s these assholes, Raylesh SDF.¡±

    He looked at his troops.

    ¡°Has anyone ever been stationed in the Raylesh system?¡±

    He paused hopefully. Unfortunately, as expected, nobody responded.

    ¡°Well I have!¡± he shouted. ¡°Whatever preconceived notions you have about the SDF, forget them. The Raylesh SDF is a serious threat whether it be in space or on the ground. They don¡¯t fuck around. Personally, I would rather tangle with a Xvli. These troopers will fuck you up!¡±

    The projector started showing different uniforms and gear sets.

    ¡°If you see ANYTHING like one of these photos call it in IMMEDIATELY!¡±

    He turned to face his men.

    ¡°There are a few things I want to get clear RIGHT FUCKING NOW!¡± he shouted, stamping his hoof. ¡°NO SALUTING! If ANYONE salutes me I will treat it as if you made an attempt on my life!¡± he yelled. ¡°They have top-ss marksmen and they USE them. Expect snipers! You are also trained to acknowledge orders loudly and clearly and use ¡®sir¡¯ or ¡®ma¡¯am¡¯. Don¡¯t do that either. You are basically screaming that you are talking to a target, one you are standing right beside. They use sonic enhancement. They hear that and you are begging for a sniper to open up your vitals!¡±

    He started to pace.

    ¡°Sergeants and squad leaders, you have been trained to call in for instructions whenever facing an unusual situation. You have instincts. Use them! If you wait for orders it could be toote. Follow your orders but if you run into something unnned, do what you have to do to survive. You have my personal guarantee that I will back you up as long as it isn¡¯t outright mutiny. Taking cover or even retreating is NOT cowardice under fire. It¡¯s good sense. Don¡¯t throw the lives of yourself and your men away for no reason. We have a mission to achieve but we can¡¯t do that if we are dead!¡± Images of IED¡¯s appeared.

    ¡°These are images of various improvised explosive devices. Do NOT underestimate them! If you noticed, they can look like ANYTHING. If you see anything that looks remotely out of ce, shoot it. If you see some freshly overturned earth, shoot it. If you see a vehicle parked alongside or under your path, fill it full of holes. If in doubt, shoot it then shoot it again. Most of their explosives will be detonated by one of our projectiles.¡±

    He paused and took another breath.

    ¡°Concerning the rules of engagement¡­ If a human is armed, fucking shoot them. Don¡¯t challenge them. Don¡¯t order them to drop their weapon. SHOOT THEM! If you detect a concealed human, order them to show themselves. If they don¡¯t, OPEN FIRE! Assume ANY adult human is a potentialbatant. In fact, ANY human is a potentialbatant. Just because it¡¯s a kid doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s harmless. I don¡¯t care if you have a son or daughter their age. If they are carrying a weapon SHOOT! If you can¡¯t see their hands be cautious. Make them reveal their graspers. If they don''t, SHOOT!¡±

    He paused.

    ¡°We are Federation Troopers, not death squad members. Don¡¯t shoot any human that you see but if you have the SLIGHTEST funny feeling about the situation have them lie down in the submission position. If they refuse, SHOOT THEM!¡±

    He let the muttering subside.

    ¡°Our orders have changed. Preparing the humans for deportation to Raylesh is off the table. We are to secure the area, establish a perimeter, and clear the area of weapons and explosives. We will then transport the humans to a holding area being established by our engineers.¡±

    He stamped his hoof.

    ¡°Everyone look to their left and to their right. Those men are the ones that are going to keep you alive. Those are the men that you are going to keep alive. Officers, trust your men. Men, trust your officers. We can¡¯t help our orders. We are being sent into harm¡¯s way. THAT is our job. HOW we follow those orders, that we can help. The brass has ordered us into this pit. I¡¯m ordering you to SURVIVE. Now mount up and may the Creators be with you.¡±

    As his men filed into their APC''s, the major shuddered. This was going to be the Terran War all over again. No, it was going to be worse. In the Terran War we weren¡¯t invading their homes. We weren¡¯t rounding up their children. These humans would be fighting for their very survival. They believe that we are going to send them and their families to disease-riddled worlds to die and that¡¯s exactly what we would have done if it were possible.

    On the trip over he had studied them, the porkies. He read their history. He knew what they were capable of when pressed and he knew exactly what he was sending his men into. This wasn¡¯t the Terran War all over again, he realized as ice gripped his heart. It was going to be the <em>Sol Wars</em> all over again, creators help them all.

    But that wasn¡¯t what truly bothered him. What truly bothered him was that he and his men were the raiders. He tried, but he couldn¡¯t shake the thought. They were the raiders in this new Sol War. He was on the wrong side. He had orders to follow and a duty to perform and he would but¡­

    The humans were fighting for their children and their homes. What was he fighting for? Order? Stability? The rule ofw?¡­

    <em>Death camps?</em>

    He clenched his mrs as the APC¡¯s lifted off. This reminded him of something from his race¡¯s history¡­ Something he did not like one bit.

    <em>Was he fighting on the right side?</em>

    He turned and walked towards hismand post. He tried to clear his head. He had his orders. It was his duty to follow them.

    <em>Yeah, ¡®Just following orders¡¯¡­ Wasn¡¯t that what they said as well?</em>

    He winced. His ancestors fought and died fighting tyranny, fighting genocide. Some of his direct ancestors died in ces <em>exactly</em> like where the Federation wanted to send those humans. And now, he was the one wearing those steel shoes. He was the one stomping the children into the mud.

    This was <em>wrong</em>. What would his ancestors think of him? Could he even enter the sacred tombs after this? He didn¡¯t think he could.

    ¡°Ancestors forgive me...¡± he muttered as he walked away.

 Chapter The Day From Hell Continues

    Chapter The Day From Hell Continues

    Mark ck took a deep breath and walked into his wife¡¯s room.

    Shelly was a bloated, twisted monstrosity, her body ravaged by the same illness that had left him entirely untouched¡­ for now...

    The disease that he gave her...

    She looked over at him and smiled weakly.

    ¡°Hello, princess,¡± Mark said with a little smile. ¡°How are you today?¡±

    ¡°It hurts¡­¡± she managed to whisper.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± he said with tears in his eyes as he took her withered hand. The skin split at his touch and what oozed out wasn¡¯t blood. ¡°I-¡±

    ¡°When are you going to¡­ (cough) stop with all the apologizing,¡± she whispered. ¡°I agreed to it and I don¡¯t do anything I don¡¯t wanna do. Stop being such a little bitch about it.¡±

    Mark let out a littleugh.

    ¡°It just happened,¡± he said with a smile. ¡°We knocked the shit out of them.¡±

    ¡°(cough cough) I know. I could hear people losing their minds outside. I couldn¡¯t (cough)¡­ couldn¡¯t hear exactly what was going on but I figured...¡±

    Mark stroked her hair and tried not to wince as a chunk of it remained in his hand.

    ¡°Sorry I couldn¡¯t stay pretty for you...¡±

    ¡°What the fuck are you talking about,¡± Mark scoffed. ¡°You are still the most beautiful woman I have ever met.¡±

    ¡°Liar.¡±

    ¡°I mean it,¡± Mark said with tears in his eyes. ¡°I fucking mean it, babe.¡±

    He pulled out an auto-injector.

    ¡°Is that it?¡± Shelly asked looking at the device.

    ¡°Yeah...¡± he said choking up. ¡°You don¡¯t have to hurt anymore.¡±

    ¡°Hey¡­ Don¡¯t be a bitch,¡± Shelly whispered as she smiled, her lips cracking. She coughed up a wad of green-ck phlegm. ¡°P¡­ Promise me...¡±

    ¡°Anything!¡± Mark replied.

    ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ Don¡¯t let this change you¡­ Don¡¯t let this break¡­ break you¡­ Don¡¯t turn into a little bitch...¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± Mark smiled. ¡°No bitches in this house.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ Remind them¡­ Remind them all¡­ What (cough) what we are...¡±

    ¡°Oh I fucking will,¡± Mark said with tears in his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m gonna carve your name in the fucking stars¡­¡±

    ¡°I like that...¡± she whispered in a weak voice. ¡°Now¡­ Let your beautiful eyes be thest thing I ever see...¡±

    ¡°You got it, my princess,¡± Mark said as he looked deep into her eyes and pressed the injector into her chest.

    It made a quiet ¡°pssht¡±.

    ¡°I¡­ love...¡± Shelly started to say and then her pupils dtedpletely open and she let out one final sigh.

    Mark copsed over her body.

    ¡°Hnnng¡­. Hnngh...¡± he moaned as tears filled his eyes¡­

    <strong>¡°RRRAAAARARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!¡±</strong> he roared, his voice echoing through the ward.

    <strong>¡°AAAARAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!¡±</strong> he bellowed as he strode towards the door splitting it open with a kick.

    He drew a length of roughly ground steel, a long-shank¡­

    Mark ck, once again a Ripper of the Long-Shanks, stepped into the hall¡­

    ***

    ¡°Jesus fucking Christ,¡± a man, carrying a gauss carbine and wearing a long-shank on his hip, said as he walked into the ward. He figured that the boss would be upset but¡­ shit¡­

    This was bad, even by his very rxed standards.

    ¡°You here, boss?¡± he called out.

    A long low growl was the only reply.

    Mark, covered head to toe in fluids of a half a dozen colors, stepped out.

    ¡°Boss?...¡± the man asked cautiously.

    Mark just stood there breathing heavily.

    ¡°You ok, boss?¡± the man asked backing away.

    Terrified whimpering came from around the corner. Josh was surprised. There were people left alive. That was good sign.

    ¡°Some of the nurses... good people...¡± Mark said in a distant voice, ¡°Took care of us¡­ They live...¡±

    Mark shook his head as his eyes fully cleared.

    ¡°You ain¡¯t wearing any gear.¡± he said calmly.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Joshua replied. ¡°Popped positive. So has everyone else here.¡±

    Mark nodded.

    ¡°You split up the people like I said?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Joshua replied. ¡°the good and the bad.¡±

    ¡°And the bad?¡±

    Joshua just smiled.

    Mark smiled back.

    ¡°Got a ship?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, parked out front.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± Mark growled. ¡°We got a name to carve.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ***

    One of the monitors on the wall opposite Jessica Morgan shed the words ¡°Mark ck¡± as a ring tone sounded.

    ¡°Hello?¡± Jessica said with a smile and then looked at the monitor in confusion. ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°Getting hosed off,¡± Mark replied as a stream of water washed over him. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know about shit like that,¡± he scoffed. ¡°You like to keep your hands all nice and tidy, don¡¯t you, bitch?¡±

    Jessica just smiled and sipped her tea.

    ¡°I see old Mark is back,¡± she replied. ¡°So¡­ are you¡­ are you ready to begin?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I killed her if that¡¯s what you are askin¡¯¡± Mark snarled.

    ¡°¡­ Please ept my deepest condolences over your loss,¡± Jessica said carefully. ¡°I know how much-¡±

    ¡°Save it for people who don¡¯t know you like I do,¡± Mark growled. ¡°You don¡¯t give a fuck.¡±

    Jessica¡¯s expression softened.

    ¡°Actually, I held Shelly in high regard. She was-¡±

    ¡°Raaargh!¡± Mark yelled, tears starting to well up in his eyes.

    ¡°I was going to send flowers,¡± Jessica said in a much colder tone, ¡°But instead I¡¯ll give you something else. We passed around the hat and between myself, the other confederates, the independents, the unaffiliated, and other parties we have gathered quite the bounty for our friend Patricia. Twenty billion for her head and thirty-five for her alive. If she is breathing when we get our hands on her, I will give her to you.¡±

    Mark let out a long low growl and grinned.

    ¡°Thought you¡¯d like that,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°We can celebrate Shelly¡¯s memory properly. As I recall some of your methods were quite¡­ inventive...¡±

    ¡°What about the doc?¡± Mark snarled. ¡°I want the doc!¡±

    ¡°And you shall have him,¡± Jessica said in a soothing voice. ¡°We¡¯ve located the good doctor and will be gathering him up shortly. After we¡¯ve finished extracting the information we desire we shall send him to you. It¡¯s the least I can do, for Shelly.¡±

    ¡°And his family!¡±

    ¡°We hadn¡¯t nned on it but, sure, whatever you want. Do you want them alive or-¡±

    ¡°You have to ask?¡±

    ¡°Alive. Certainly,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°Will the immediate family suffice?¡±

    ¡°His wife! I want his wife!¡±

    ¡°Consider it done,¡± Jessica replied with a cold smile. ¡°A fitting memorial if I do say so myself. Now, on to business...¡±

    ***

    ¡°If you agreed to relocation from the start you wouldn¡¯t be in this situation, Doctor Avaral,¡± Marrow said to the terrified looking individual on his holo-monitor.

    ¡°Well I¡¯m agreeing now!¡± Doctor Avaral eximed. ¡°The porkies have gone insane!¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s hardly insane considering the situation,¡± Marrow chuckled. ¡°I would be quite annoyed were I in their position¡­ And if I were one of several very powerful and very dangerous individuals I would be quite annoyed with you as well.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t funny!¡±

    ¡°Well I find the situation quite humorous,¡± Marrow replied. ¡°You were offered the honor of serving her Ladyship and you refused. You refused her, to her face no less! You didn¡¯t want, now what was it again¡­ ¡®to be caged up like an animal¡¯? And now, youe crawling, scratching on the very bars you scorned.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m valuable! I can be useful! I-¡±

    ¡°And that is why I returned your call instead of simply dispatching an execution squad,¡± Marrow replied. ¡°You <em>are</em> valuable and the research you are undertaking on our behalf at your university is of sufficient value for her Ladyship to graciously extend to you once again her offer of patronage.¡±

    ¡°Thank you! Thank you so-¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t thank me, doctor.¡± Marrow sneered. ¡°If I had my say in the matter you would be dead. A vessel has already been dispatched to Terra. You are allowed one shipping container worth of cargo and your immediate family. Once you board that ship you will disappear forever. You and your family will be quitefortable and well provided for as long as you serve but you will <em>never</em> walk the streets a free man again. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I understand...¡±

    ¡°You will be contacted by an individual who will identify themselves as ¡®Mr. Purple¡¯. Follow their instructions to the letter. We are only going to exert ourselves once, Doctor Avaral. Until then, gather your family, activate your security system, and <em>do not leave your residence for any reason</em>. Do you understand.¡±

    ¡°Mr. Purple! Don¡¯t leave! Got it!¡±

    Marrow sneered and terminated the call. What waste of time. The good doctor had already submitted the data from the initial experiments in the Federation and had clearly outlived his usefulness. Histest proposal was sketchy at best. He was of the firm opinion that it was a scam but her Ladyship kept throwing fistfuls of credits at him regardless.

    <em>She is getting desperate.</em>

    He scowled at his disloyal thought.

    <em>Her Ladyship must see something that I do not.</em>

    ***

    Floating unnoticed among the icy debris of Sol¡¯s oort cloud there was a derelict ship, a dead floating hulk. Completely dead, no gravitic signature, no power, nothing. It was just one more bit of lifeless debris among billions of others...

    Or so it appeared¡­

    Inside, Jan Zhuk smiled.

    ¡°Mr. Purple...¡± he muttered his breath condensing to vapor instantly in the frigid air. He liked it cold, as cold as possible. It made him feel closer to the void. He knew the void had no temperature but he couldn¡¯t pull that one off just yet.

    He smiled. He was finally able to repay Jessica for her kindness all those years ago. He owed her so much! The hazard and monotony of this assignment were a small price to pay for all the gifts she bestowed.

    Besides, it was nice seeing home again.

    He unbuckled himself and floated down the corridor to themunications station. He didn¡¯t need to. He could do everything from the cockpit but he just loved to ¡®fly¡¯, even after all these years.

    Once he arrived he hovered over the keyboard and started to type a message.

    ***

    Tak Nakamura was sitting in his living room watching the drama y out on his holo-wall.

    He frowned.

    Jessica Morgan once again was again leading an army, a muchrger and better equipped one than before.

    There was no way this would turn out well, no way at all. Where did she get thepliance tubes? Those were new, very new. It was impossible to tell for certain but those were at least Generation-7 Star Harpies.

    He reached for hismunicator to start calling defense contractors to see if a production lot had gone missing but it started ringing just as he touched it.

    It was an unlisted number. It was more than unlisted since even his software couldn¡¯t determine the identity of the caller.

    Muttering to himself he answered the call and cursed as Jessica Morgan¡¯s face appeared on his screen.

    ¡°Hello, Tak. Long time no see,¡± Jessica said with an ugly smile.

    ¡°Jessica,¡± Tak replied calmly, his eyes burning with hate.

    ¡°I see you haven¡¯t taken your girlfriend¡¯s poison,¡± Jessica said as she nced at something off screen. ¡°I would have thought that you would havepped it up the second it she poured it into your bowl.¡±

    ¡°Patricia Hu is NOT my girlfriend!¡±

    ¡°Oh? She dump you?¡±

    ¡°What do you want, Jessica?¡± Tak replied with a scowl.

    ¡°I want your help.¡±

    ¡°And what makes you think I would <em>ever</em> assist you with <em>anything</em>?¡±

    ¡°Because you are a good man, Tak,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°It¡¯s your one biggest w¡­ Well that and a rather embarrassing fetish but I don¡¯t judge.¡±

    ¡°Are you trying to ckmail me?¡± Tak snorted. ¡°Because that won¡¯t-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not ckmailing you, Tak,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°Besides, all simtions strongly indicate that the bacsh I would receive from sullying the ¡®Savior of Sol¡¯ would outweigh the satisfaction I would get from releasing the photos that I <em>do</em> have.¡±

    Tak red at her silently.

    ¡°What the fuck do you want?¡± he asked after a few seconds.

    ¡°Your girl has done a number on us, Tak,¡± Jessica said calmly. ¡°It¡¯s bad. Thetest estimates has the number of infected at over five million and the number is growing exponentially. Our most optimistic simtions have it killing well over fifty percent of us. That¡¯s a lot of dead <em>innocent</em> people, Tak. You can hate me all you want but those are innocent men, women, and children. Most of them were born <em>after</em> the wars. They are guilty only of having assholes for parents, or grandparents, or whatever, and your girl is killing them. I want to give you the opportunity to make it right.¡±

    ¡°Patricia Hu is NOT ¡®my girl¡¯ and I am in no way responsible for-¡±

    ¡°<em>You</em> spared her, Tak. You spared her because she was fucking you,¡± Jessica replied.

    ¡°That was NOT the reason-¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± Jessica said, cutting him off. ¡°You can talk numbers all you want but we both know the <em>real</em> reason why she wound up on the tribunal instead of out there in the cold dark with us.¡±

    ¡°And you are the <em>real</em> reason Patricia released the virus in the first ce! What happened to her would have never happened if you weren¡¯t arming and training the raiders. Those raiders were packing <em>American military</em> energy weapons. You want to assign me? Patricia wouldn¡¯t exist if it weren¡¯t for <em>you</em>. Do you have <em>any</em> idea what they <em>did</em> to her?¡± he yelled.

    ¡°Yes, well boys will be boys,¡± Jessica said dismissively. ¡°While I would love to reminisce about the good old days some more I have shit to do. I¡¯m giving you the opportunity to help. I¡¯m willing to amodate as many researchers and medical personnel as the Republic wants to send.¡±

    ¡°And exactly why would we do that?¡± Tak replied.

    ¡°Let me rephrase this,¡± Jessica said with a cold gleam in her eyes. ¡°I am willing to amodate as many researchers and medical personnel as the Republic wants to send so that a cure, vine, or treatment can be found <em>before</em> there is a major outbreak of the virus in the Republic.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Tak replied. ¡°Not ckmail, a threat.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just giving you the opportunity to help save innocent people and making the observation that virulent diseases are notoriously hard to contain,¡± Jessica said with a smile. ¡°Besides, from what I hear it won¡¯t be a hard sell...¡±

    ***

    Kestra-3 (Late Afternoon)

    Human Poption: 2515

    Primary upation: Mining

    Primary Product: Rare earth minerals

    Secondary Product (Covert): Uranium

    Colony Ownership: Hass-Reek Mining Corp

    Actual Owner: Morgan Enterprises

    Major jK-Beel cursed as he walked through thepound. He had expected it to be bad¡­

    He had no idea. He had sent his men into a flour mill!

    He nced over at the field hospital and scowled. There were peopleying on the ground outside the doors, people huddled under a hastily erected pavilion¡­

    People <em>everywhere</em>¡­

    And they were the lucky ones¡­ Too many of his men were stillying where they fell. They couldn¡¯t even retrieve the bodies¡­

    Or many of the wounded.

    It was a <em>ughter</em>. All of his ns, all of his adjustments, all of his warnings were for naught.

    He stamped his hoof in frustration. Fuck! He was still trying to figure out exactly what happened. Everything was going as nned, the troops were closing in on the mines¡­

    Then all hell broke loose¡­ The engagement onlysted minutes and half of his APCs were lost along with over a third of his men¡­

    <em>Gone!</em>¡­

    He shrieked a retreat order almost immediately but it wasn¡¯t enough¡­ All he could do was stamp and scream as he heard squad after squad after squad¡­

    Creators!

    His chief medical officer, Major Joo, walked up. She was solid ck from head to toe and shaking slightly.

    As she got closer he could see rivulets of ¡°tears¡± running down her sides.

    ¡°(sob) There¡¯s nothing I can do!¡± she gasped. ¡°Nothing!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s going on, doc?¡± Major jK-Beel asked dreading the answer.

    ¡°The wounds¡­ Oh creators!¡­ <em>The wounds!</em>¡± she gasped shaking uncontrobly. ¡°There¡¯s nothing I can do!¡±

    ¡°What about the wounds?¡±

    ¡°Those¡­ <em>monsters</em>¡­ They used <em>uranium</em>¡­ somehow¡­ Fragments¡­ dust¡­ vapors¡­ All through them¡­ All of them!¡­ It¡¯s in their respiratory systems, their circtory systems, impregnated in their skin¡­ It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s dangerous to even treat them!¡­ our medics are going to get sick!¡­ I¡¯m going to get sick!¡­ <em>Those monsters!</em>¡­ Why would they do this? Why?...why...¡±

    The major, not knowing what else to do, reached out to console her. She pulled away sharply.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you listening, you moron?¡± she yelled. ¡°I¡¯m <em>contaminated</em>!¡±

    She broke down into tears and fell to her knees holding her top in her hands.

    ¡°Why?¡­ Creators, why!¡­¡±

    The major reached down and pulled her to her feet. ¡°I¡¯m contam-¡±

    ¡°You are also in front of the <em>men</em>!¡± the major hissed urgently. ¡°If you need to have a moment do it in my office,¡± he said as he drug her into the headquarters building.

    Once they were alone the doctor fell to her knees once again.

    ¡°Every casualty we have here is going to <em>die</em>, Major,¡± the doctor said miserably. ¡°Maybe if we had a full hospital we could save some of them but we¡­ we aren¡¯t equipped for this! ¡°

    ¡°I¡¯ll get us help,¡± the major said calmly. ¡°At the very least I¡¯m going to get us out of here. We¡¯re¡­ finished¡­ Look, do what you can as best as you can.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve already burned through anything that could remotely be used to decontaminate or detoxify...¡± the doctor moaned. ¡°The only thing left is...¡±

    ¡°Is what?¡± the major asked. ¡°They are going to die anyway.¡±

    The doctor closed her eyes and shuddered.

    ¡°We¡­ Creators!¡­ we try to <em>excise</em> the worst of it, amputate when possible, hollow out the wound channels where we can¡¯t¡­¡± she looked like she was going to be sick. ¡°We might be able to remove the worst of it, buy some time until help arrives, but we could kill as many as we save...¡±

    ¡°As opposed to losing all of them?¡± the major said grimly.

    ¡°Creators forgive me...¡± The doctor said in a tiny voice. ¡°I¡¯m going to lose my license for this.¡±

    ¡°Not if I give you a <em>direct order</em>,¡± the major replied. ¡°which I am now doing. Save as many of my men as you can, doctor.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir¡­ Give me a minute...¡± the doctor said as she slumped into a chair and drew a shuddering breath.

    ***

    Back on Terra, Doctor Araval¡¯s phone rang. He grabbed at it with shaking hands.

    ¡°Y-yes?¡±

    ¡°Doctor, this is Mr. Purple,¡± a pleasant female voice said. ¡°There has been a change of ns. We have reason to believe that the porkies have your location.¡±

    ¡°Oh God!¡±

    ¡°Rx, Doctor,¡± the soothing voice said. ¡°Her Ladyship takes care of her own. We are sending a vehicle to your location. It should be there in an hour. Is your family with you?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes! We are all here!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry but for now just bring what you can carry with you. We will send movers to collect your propertyter.¡±

    ¡°I understand!¡±

    ¡°Excellent!¡± the reassuring voice said. ¡°Everything¡¯s going to be ok, Doctor. You are in good hands.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡±

    ¡°I promised her Ladyship that I would deliver you and your family safe and sound,¡± the woman said, ¡°I will not fail her¡­ or you. Be ready. You won¡¯t have much time once the vehicle arrives.¡±

    ¡°We will be ready!¡±

    ¡°Good. See you soon,¡± the woman said in a confident soothing tone as she terminated the call.

    ***

    Forty-five minutester the doctor¡¯s phone rang once more.

    ¡°This is Mr. Purple,¡± the woman¡¯s voice announced. ¡°Outside, ck limo. Now.¡±

    Momentster Doctor Araval, his wife, and his two children rushed into the vehicle.

    ¡°This is <em>nice</em> daddy!¡± his daughter eximed as she settled into one of the plush leather seats.

    ¡°Thank you so much!¡± his wife said towards the driver, obscured behind a mirrored interior partition.

    ¡°Just serving her Ladyship, ma¡¯am,¡± the woman said as she smiled, two golden fangs gleaming in the darkness.

    The limo slowly drove off into the night¡­

 Chapter The Fall of the Capital Enclave Part One

    Chapter The Fall of the Capital Enve Part One

    As night fell Colonel Laurent looked at the map and sighed. Still no movement from the Federation troops. He was definitely disappointed, but not terribly shocked. In every single ground engagement between the Federation Army and human forces the Feds were dealt costly and humiliating defeats.

    They won¡¯t be trying that again. Their losses were in the tens of thousands across the Federation.

    The colonel did some quick math in his head and nodded. The losses were definitely above the minimum goals for the initial day. The Feds lost a measurable portion of their ground forces, enough that massing troops would be difficult if they wanted to retain enough men for their defense.

    He pulled up another report. In more than a few areas the Federation presence was reduced enough to start evacuations of some of the smaller enves. The General had ced a high priority on those people. They were almost entirely untouched by the gue.

    Unfortunately, here in the Capital City, the location of the singlergest poption ofpletely uninfected people, they were hopelessly trapped. They had freighters registered under other gs waiting but there was no way to get the people to them. Currently, they were only able to send the barest trickle of people through a hastily improvised ¡°underground railroad¡±. Thanks to a number of sympathetic races humans were being smuggled into other enves and out of the city, but it was only a few at a time, and they have over one-hundred and twenty thousand people. Over a hundred and ten thousand of them were nonbatants.

    He had hoped for more volunteers, but he didn¡¯t me them. Most of these people came from "pure porkie¡± stock, arcology refugees, innocent spacers, people like that. Most of them didn¡¯t have a single drop of raider in them. They weren¡¯t fighters, just poor luckless bastards and their descendants. They had been kicked around and stepped on by everyone, raider, Terran, and Confederacy alike. They wanted no part of this and he didn¡¯t fault them one bit.

    He felt terribly bad for them. After everything they manage to find a home, a ce to build a future and what happens? Another fucking Yellowstone kicks them right in the balls. He wasn¡¯t able to protect them before but by God he was going to do it now. He was going to get as many of them as he could out of this death-trap.

    There was a quiet beep as an encoded text came in. It was from his ¡°piper¡± out in the fringes of the sr system. A battleship task force just entered the system. Fuck, it was the <em>Ascension</em>.

    The <em>Ascension</em> was an elite ship with a blooded and experienced crew. Among it¡¯s numerous achievements was causing significant damage to a Sovngarde battle group to the point she forced them to retreat, with losses.

    There was only one reason why it was here. It was renowned for its uracy¡­ <em>bombardment</em>.

    They were going to obliterate them from space! Fuck. They were actually perform orbital bombardment on the Capital City!

    They were dead. A battleship¡¯s beam weapons could easilypletely vaporize a building, and at full power it could wipe out a city block! There was no way that there wouldn¡¯t be extensive civilian casualties!

    He picked up a radio.

    He summoned Major Geel, leader of hisbat-engineers. He then typed out a hyperspace message for the piper to send to General Morgan. He included a personal message saying good-bye.

    This was it for him. He wasn¡¯t overly concerned for himself. He wasn¡¯t a young man when Yellowstone happened and the nearly annual surgeries and treatments were bing more extensive and painful every year.

    He had cheated death enough, but some of the men and women under hismand¡­ They had barely begun to live. They had so much ahead of them only for it to be erased in less than a millisecond from orbit.

    He looked at the map carefully. Did they dig in and hope for the best or do they try to engage the Federation forces in the government district?

    He smiled grimly. He wasn¡¯t going out hiding in a hole like some rat. He and his men would perform one final raid. Hopefully, they won¡¯t be so eager to vaporize non-human neighborhoods and while their defeat was assured they would at least take some of those bastards along with them.

    He sat down and started to draw up a n of battle.

    As he was nning his glorious demise one of the volunteers walked in. It was Vera, one of the people they had appointed amander of one horde of irregrs or another.

    ¡°All irregr forces have reported in, sir,¡± she said as she stood at attention. ¡°All present or ounted for.¡±

    ¡°Very good,¡± he said with a smile. Vera was a good young woman and took both her responsibilities and the situation very seriously. In fact, she had inquired about joining ¡°the real army¡±. Unbeknownst to her, he had already started the paperwork.

    ¡°The police are still manning the barricades, sir. More people than ever have ¡®taken the walk¡¯ and let themselves be detained,¡± she said making a face of disapproval.

    Colonel Laurent smiled sadly.

    ¡°Either take your chances in a detention camp or take your chances here, huh?¡± he said. ¡°They might be the smart ones.¡±

    ¡°Sir?!?¡±

    ¡°The battleship <em>Ascension</em> just entered the system,¡± the colonel said in a matter of fact voice. ¡°Tell me, what does that mean?¡±

    Vera looked up pensively.

    ¡°Are they fortifying the system, after you know, Raylesh and Zaran?¡±

    ¡°But they already have more than enough ships here to keep out our hastily armed freighters,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Why else?¡±

    ¡°If it isn¡¯t system defense then...¡±

    Vera gasped.

    ¡°They aren¡¯t going to <em>bombard</em> us are they?¡± she asked in terror.

    ¡°That is my belief, yes. The <em>Ascension</em> is renowned for the uracy of its guns. There is only one reason to bring that ship here. They are going to take us out from space. The <em>Ascension¡¯s</em> gunners are urate enough to hit a single building or a single intersection from orbit.¡±

    ¡°What are we going to do?¡± Vera asked.

    ¡°Well, Vera,¡± the colonel said. ¡°We are going to die.¡±

    Vera¡¯s lip quivered but that was her only reaction.

    ¡°The only question is how we are going to die,¡± the colonel said. ¡°Do we dig in and hope for the best and then engage the invading forces with whoever is left or do we take the fight to them? We will lose but at least they can¡¯t hit us from orbit once we engage the enemy. I¡¯m opting for thetter. I will not die hiding like a porkie. I¡¯m going to die with my boots on and my rifle in my hand.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m with you sir!¡± Vera said, her lip still quivering slightly.

    ¡°No, child,¡± the colonel said gently. ¡°You are going to live, you and all of the irregrs.¡±

    ¡°But we can help!¡±

    ¡°No, you can¡¯t,¡± the colonel said sadly. ¡°Most of you will die in the first quarter-mile. The rest will likely die in the next. The only reason I would send you forth would be as decoys and, this time, I¡¯m not doing that. No, this time I¡¯m doing this <em>my</em> way, not the General¡¯s. You take the irregrs and have them protect the civilians. That is what you signed up to do, protect your families, not be cut down in a doomed charge. So, protect your families. I¡¯m entrusting you with this,¡± he said as he handed her an ancient radio handset and a notebook. ¡°In this book are all of the contacts for the various enve leaders who are helping us. You¡¯ve met a lot of them but not all. You can use the handset to keep in touch with us tomorrow but do not let them capture it. Press this button, hard, and throw it if it looks like you are going to get caught.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ I want to stand with <em>you</em>, sir.¡±

    ¡°In war you don¡¯t get to do what you want, Vera,¡± the colonel chuckled. ¡°You follow your orders and your orders are to take this and coordinate the escape. You are one of the best of the irregrs and everyone respects you. Your job is not to die, it¡¯s to lead. Oh, and take this,¡± the colonel said as he walked over to the wall and picked up his saber assault rifle.

    ¡°Sir! I couldn¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°This weapon has seen me safe through the Sol Wars and beyond,¡± he said as he handed it to her. ¡°I know you know how to use it, yes?¡±

    ¡°Only in video games,¡± she said hesitantly.

    ¡°Close enough,¡± he smiled. ¡°I would rather it live on in your hands than wind up in some division¡¯s trophy case,¡± he smiled. He handed her his ammo pouches. ¡°There is enough ammunition in there to bothst you the whole war and get some practice in.¡± heughed.

    ¡°What are you going to use?¡±

    ¡°This!¡± he said as he took her AK. ¡°The Terrans defeated us with this trash,¡± heughed. ¡°If it beat us then it will beat them now.¡±

    ¡°Now sit down,¡± the colonel said firmly. ¡°We don¡¯t have a lot of time and there is much we must cover.¡±

    ***

    Roughly an hourter Colonel Laurent was sitting at a table with his officers.

    ¡°¡­ so that¡¯s the situation my friends,¡± he said.

    ¡°Fuck.¡± the silver haired woman muttered.

    ¡°Well put,¡± the colonelughed. ¡°If we are going to go out, I say we do if fighting.¡±

    ¡°Goddamn right!¡± a man in his forties, wearing the unmarked gray armor of Morgan Security, snarled.

    ¡°We will advance under cover of darkness,¡± the colonel said, ¡°If we follow these approach routes we should evade notice for at least most of the way. Our scanner cammo should provide concealment as long as we can avoid the cameras. Hopefully enough of us will be able to reach the opponent to inflict casualties.¡±

    ¡°And we should draw the <em>Ascension¡¯s</em> fire away from the enve,¡± another said.

    ¡°With any luck,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Just in case, how are the shelters, Major Geel?¡±

    A grubby looking man wearing just a stained jumpsuit gave him an unhappy look.

    ¡°We¡¯ve been reinforcing the metro stops and the sub levels of the theatre but there is only so much you can do with construction foam and wire, sir. Against a normal attack they are great. Against a fucking battleship? They might survive a near miss or a low power shot but a direct hit from their main gun? No way.¡±

    ¡°Is there anywhere that is safe?¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°If the <em>Ascension</em> wants something gone it¡¯s gone,¡± Major Geel replied. ¡°However, the Cambridge Road metro station is the deepest and the tunnels themselves go even deeper. They are a good escape route for the civvies if things go to shit.¡±

    ¡°But isn¡¯t there a risk of electrocution?¡±

    ¡°You are thinking about our subway lines back home,¡± the major replied. ¡°The Feds just have passive maglev rails. The trains themselves have small reactors and induce a field as they travel. The rails are just blocks of coils. Sensors will also automatically shut down traffic if someone is in there so we can use them as escape tunnels if we absolutely have to.¡±

    ¡°Sounds good,¡± the colonel replied.

    ¡°That being said,¡± the major continued, ¡°We can¡¯t pack a hundred and twenty thousand into those tunnels. One, they would suffocate and two, they will be trapped. There is only one way to go once they get in there. We might as well be marching them right into a concentration camp.¡±

    ¡°So they get blown to hell or they get infected...¡± the colonel said grimly. ¡°Wonderful¡­¡±

    ¡°Perhaps not,¡± Major Pascal, the silver-haired woman said, ¡°There are enough humans on this to justify a camp here. Nobody on this is infected as far as we know.¡±

    ¡°Would you be willing to bet your family that the Feds will do that?¡± the Morgan Security officer growled. ¡°Those fuckers want us gone.¡±

    ¡°We are leaving the enve,¡± the colonel said after a few moments, ¡°that is the best thing we can do for them. As far as the rest, we just have to tell them what we know and let them decide. We will support them as best as we can... Captain Stewart!¡±

    ¡°Sir!¡± the Morgan Security officer replied.

    ¡°Take the Morgan Security forces and support the civilians and the irregrs.¡±

    ¡°Sir?¡± Captain Stewart asked unhappily.

    ¡°The people here are going to need help. You will provide it. Do whatever you can.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir...¡±

    ¡°Ms. Walker,¡± the colonel said looking towards a woman lounging against the wall next to a long ck case embossed with the word ¡°Keralx¡± in Imperial script.

    ¡°Sir?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m detaching you from mymand¡­ Kill.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± the woman said with a smile. She took the case and departed.

    ***

    ¡°Excuse me, Colonel?¡± Vera asked as she entered the Colonel¡¯s office, interrupting his preparations.

    ¡°I¡¯m rather busy, Vera,¡± he said looking up from his map. He raised his eyebrow suspiciously. Behind Vera were a rather odd group of humans. They ranged from a leather d punk to a rather preppy looking young woman. ¡°And just who have you brought into <em>my</em> headquarters?¡±

    ¡°I think we <em>can</em> help after all!¡± Vera said triumphantly. ¡°You want to get to the government district, right?¡±

    ¡°You disclosed our ns?¡± the colonel asked, quite annoyed. Perhaps he misjudged her after all. He would be taking back his rifle or at least finding someone actually suitable to bear it.

    ¡°I did,¡± Vera said, ¡°but for <em>very</em> good reason, sir. These people are the best human hackers in the city, therefore the best hackers on the! They can get you there undetected.¡±

    ¡°They can?¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the leather-d young man replied. ¡°Spoofing city cameras and sensors is easy money. We can get you past them.¡±

    ¡°How, exactly?¡±

    ¡°There are literally millions of cameras, sensors, and the like in this city,¡± the preppy young woman said, ¡°far too many to go to a single control point. Each block sends it¡¯s data to a central processing station which thenpiles, evaluates, buffers and distributes the data. Those block data transmission units in turn sends it to-¡±

    ¡°Just the basics, please,¡± the colonel said politely cutting her off. Maybe Vera gets to keep the rifle.

    ¡°Ok,¡± the woman said pushing up her sses in which faint glowing lines could be seen, ¡°we can ess the neighborhood sensor processing units, and loop them out¡­ That means we send them false data. We do it all the time for smugglers and the gangs.¡±

    ¡°And you can do that for us?¡±

    ¡°No problem,¡± the leather d young man said with a grin.

    The colonel looked over at Vera and smiled.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you associated with these sorts of people, Vera,¡± the colonel said with a twinkle in his eye.

    ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ not really...¡± Vera said sheepishly, ¡°But I know someone who knows someone...¡±

    ¡°Ah,¡± the colonel smiled, ¡°say no more.¡± He turned to the hackers.

    ¡°How long will it take for you to ¡®hack-in¡¯ or whatever it is that you do?¡±

    ¡°We are ready to go,¡± the young woman said.

    ¡°But don¡¯t you have to log in or something?¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± the young man replied. ¡°We gotta physically ess the nodes. We¡¯reing with you.¡±

    ¡°Are you certain?¡± the colonel asked. ¡°You know this is going to be very dangerous.¡±

    ¡°Oh please,¡± the preppy woman scoffed. ¡°Getting shot is way better than what can happen to us if we fuck up other jobs.¡±

    ¡°We leave within the hour,¡± the colonel said. He looked over at Vera and smiled.

    She grinned back.

    ***

    A littleter that night, Fed Trooper Gy-Jerin leaned against the side of an APC as he yed with his phone.

    ¡°Hey!¡± hispanion snapped from a nearby fighting position, ¡°At least <em>pretend</em> that you are on watch, please.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± he replied not looking up from his game, ¡°I don¡¯t even know why we are out here. There are a couple of miles of cameras, sensors, and drones between us and them and that¡¯s not counting our own stuff.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s the <em>Forsaken</em>¡±, the other trooper said, nervously wiping his t snout. ¡°You know what they¡¯ve done in other ces, right?¡±

    ¡°Forsaken?¡± Gy-Jerin scoffed. ¡°They can call themselves whatever fancy name they want but they are still fucking porkies.¡±

    ¡°Fine, porkies then,¡± his fellow trooper snapped. ¡°The <em>porkies</em> have been kicking our asses across the whole Federation. All of our ¡®stuff¡¯ hasn¡¯t done shit.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but they didn¡¯t have the <em>Ascension</em> in orbit. Those porkies poke their heads out of their holes for one sec-¡±

    ¡°Wait!¡± the other trooper hissed urgently, his snout twitching. ¡°I smell-¡±

    Federation Trooper Gy-Jerin¡¯s phone fell from his hand as a sma-jacketed tungsten needle blew his head apart.

    Hispanion pressed himself into the pavement as countless rays of light ripped the air apart just over his head.

    He heard the captain yelling something. He turned just in time to see the captain, and hismand APC be vaporized in a sh of light.

    People were running, screaming¡­ blowing apart¡­

    He heard Sergeant Vkk bellowing¡­ something¡­

    He looked that way hopefully. Sergeant Vkk would know what to-

    Sergeant Vkk exploded too, rippedpletely in half by one of those ungodly streaks of light.

    Everything was <em>so loud</em>. He couldn¡¯t hear anything and, partially blinded by those¡­ whatever those unholy bolts were¡­ he couldn¡¯t see much.

    He didn¡¯t know what to do! This wasn¡¯t anything like training!

    Oh Creators! It was <em>so loud</em>¡­

    Something else exploded. He wasn¡¯t sure what¡­

    <em>He didn¡¯t know what to do!</em>¡­

    He looked around for a sergeant¡­ or an officer¡­ but he couldn¡¯t see anyone¡­ Everyone was dying!

    Nobody was yelling orders anymore. They were just screaming. Some people were trying to fight, to shoot back but they were literally being torn apart by those beams, their deflectors just giving off an anemic little blue sh.

    He pressed himself down tighter against the ground. Instinctively, he started trying to dig, his short ws scraping against the concrete¡­

    <em>It wasn¡¯t fair!</em> They weren¡¯t trained for this! What was he supposed to do? He prayed for someone, anyone to tell him what to <em>do</em>¡­

    The APC beside him started to be ripped apart by thousands of those bolts, in almost a solid stream of blinding white fire. He screamed in agony and, dropping his needler, covered his ears from the noise, the impossibly loud crack from each bolt ovepping to create a deafening scream.

    It sounded like, <em>rage</em>¡­

    Then¡­ silence¡­ almost as deafening as the unholy noise¡­

    He could hear nothing but a dull buzzing in his ears, his eyes, blinded by the re, could only make out the dim glows of fires and¡­ shadows moving among them¡­

    <em>Humans!</em>

    He curled up into a ball as he watched the wraith-like forms stalk through his camp. There was the asional sh, sometimes preceded by desperate begging¡­

    Then even that ended...

    Foreverter, he heard the sonic booms of fighters tearing through the sky above him and heard the distinctive sound of heavy ster fire and more of that unholy screaming from the human weapons as the fighters engaged the humans somewhere nearby.

    Suddenly, he saw something explode above him¡­ then something else exploded¡­ The fighters! How? How were their soldiers able to do that?

    Now that his hearing had recovered somewhat, he could hear sounds of weapons fire in the distance, all around. They must be attacking everyone¡­ everywhere¡­

    How? How could they do that? How did they get here?

    The night was instantly turned into day as a huge beam of light shot down from the sky with an unholy deafening roar like the wrath of his people¡¯s ancient gods. Then, another bolt from heaven fell¡­ and another...

    ***

    ¡°How in the Hells did they get here undetected?¡± a general yelled pounding the table with his w.

    ¡°We don¡¯t know, sir,¡± another officer said miserably. ¡°One moment everything looked normal and the next they were everywhere!¡±

    ¡°And those abyss touched maniacs are too close for effective orbital engagement,¡± a naval officer said calmly. ¡°We have hit what we can but we can¡¯t do anything else without risking hitting our own people.¡±

    There was a beep as another area of the map disyed on the holo-screen in front of them turned red.

    ¡°Dammit!¡± the general yelled and turned to the naval officer.

    ¡°Where are your damned fighters?!?¡±

    ¡°What do you want,¡± the officer replied, ¡°fighters or bombardment? You can¡¯t have both, sir. At least they can¡¯t shoot down the <em>Ascension</em>, at least we think they can¡¯t.¡±

    The general cursed as another one of the red areas turned ck.

    ¡°Well, what in the void are we supposed to do, then?¡± the general yelled.

    ¡°Have you tried, I don¡¯t know¡­ fighting them?¡±

    ¡°GET OUT! ABYSS TAKE YOU! GET OUT!!!¡± the general shouted, lunging at the naval officer.

    ¡°dly, <em>sir</em>,¡± the office replied with a smirk. Admiral Koo had the right idea, the officer thought as he straightened his uniform on the way out. With any luck he could get fired too!

    ***

    ¡°Fuck!¡± Tawnie, the preppy hacker quietly cursed.

    ¡°What?¡± Colonel Laurent, crouched behind some rubble asked.

    ¡°We lost Haxx0r¡­ The leather jacket guy... Thatst orbital strike got him.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Pascal...¡± The colonel said sadly.

    ¡°¡­ Oh yeah¡­ sorry, dude...¡± Tawnie said.

    ¡°So, what are you two doing back there?¡± the colonel asked as he viewed hisbat map.

    ¡°Yourmo dude and I are trying to crack the Navy¡¯smunications,¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°That fucking battleship isn¡¯t picking these targets from way up there. It¡¯s getting targeting info¡­ We crack that...¡± she said as she shed him an evil grin.

    ¡°...and we can send it targets!¡± the colonel chuckled. ¡°If we can do that just once I will die a happy man!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s this with you and dying, man,¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°I swear you have been picking out your fucking flowers since before we started.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it obvious, child?¡±

    ¡°Not to me it isn¡¯t,¡± Tawnieughed. ¡°When the reaperes I¡¯m kicking him in the balls¡­ or giving him a blowie¡­ whichever works.¡±

    The colonel just smiled and shook his head.

    ¡°Time to call in the big guns,¡± Tawnie said as she let forth a frustrated sigh.

    ¡°The big guns?¡± Colonel Laurent asked.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m gonna summon Diakon, one of the hacker gods.¡±

    Themunications operator looked up.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t he in jail for child porn?¡±

    Tawnieughed.

    ¡°No, some kid toucher is in jail. Fed Intel has this super hacker¡­ goes by the handle ¡®The Spider¡¯¡­ When The Spider gets on you you¡¯re got. Diakon was getting ready to ckmail that pedo and when The Spider came knocking they had just enough time to frame that loser. He got arrested for crimes against the state and Diakon went dark¡­ at least for a little while.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°I should know,¡± Tawnie smiled as she dialed her phone.

    ¡°Hi mom,¡± she said and immediately winced, ¡°¡­ Goddammit, mom, I¡¯m-¡­ Where the fuck do you think I am?¡­ Look-¡­ Yeah, I know <em>exactly</em> who has already died. I¡¯m right here you know.¡±

    She winced and held the phone away from her ear as the sound of a woman¡¯s paniced screeching could be heard.

    ¡°Jesus, keep your voice down¡­ Look, I need your help. We are trying to crack the Navy¡¯s codes¡­ We do that and we can shut down that fucking battleship and maybe your precious little angel won¡¯t get turned into a smudge like Haxx0r¡­ and maybe light up Fed Intel while we are at it? Wouldn¡¯t it be nice to give The Spider a little present?¡­ Ok, text me when you have booted up <em>The Beast</em> and I¡¯llwork you in¡­ Um¡­ Mom...Just in case, I¡¯ve emailed you the code for my apartment. Jasper¡¯s food is in the top of the cab next to the refrigerator¡­ I love you, mom¡­ bye.¡±

    Tawnie looked over at the colonel with a grin.

    ¡°Parents, right? Always losing their shit over the tiniest little thing...¡±

    ***

    Just before dawn General Stonebeak stormed out of Federation Command.

    The nerve of that pipsqueak! He was furious. Just as soon as the business day started he was giving the Admiral of the Navy a call.

    Someone that disrespectful and insubordinate had no ce in the Federation military! He was going to personally see to it that they would be stripped of their rank and thrown out in disgrace!

    <em>Let¡¯s see how that little shit likes that!</em> the general thought with a smug click of his beak as he pulled out his smoking pipe¡­

    Almost two kilometers away Ashley Walker sighed happily as she held her Keralx in her loving embrace. One of only two Keralx sniper gyrojets known to ever enter the ck market, it had triggered a bidding war of truly epic proportions.

    Jessica Morgan herself attended the auction but even she could only manage to get just one of them. Ashley was never told the amount that it fetched but the fact that Jessica Morgan herself could only afford to get <em>one</em> of them spoke volumes.

    After it was scanned down to the atom, Jessica held a marksmanshippetition. The prize, what she now held in her arms.

    A flicker of light caught her attention and the optics, tracking her eye movements, instantly zoomed in on the source, some crab-cake smoking a pipe¡­ a general no less!

    She smiled at theical image for a moment and then lined up the shot. It used ¡°smart-gun¡± technology, good old Earth-tech. She locked in the target with the tiniest flick of her eye and then armed the weapon. The targetingputer usedpletely passive sensors to estimate wind-speed and range and when the barrel was precisely aligned with the target and all other factors were nominal, it fired automatically.

    The entire process took a fraction of a second. The weapon being held on target by a master sniper speed up the process greatly.

    With a nearly silent ¡°Ssssszzzzz¡± the projectile left the weapon¡­

    ***

    <strong>POP</strong>

    The duty sergeant¡¯s head jerked up from his tablet so fast his eyes flipped backwards on their stalks for a moment.

    <em>What in all of the Hells was that?</em>

    He checked the status panels. There were no security breaches and no reports of enemy activity nearby. Thank the Creators that their surprise attack seems to have stalled.

    <em>But what was that noise?</em>

    He activated a perimeter drone andunched it.

    He watched the disy. Everything looked ok. Nothing was out of ce.

    He sent the drone around the side of the building.

    He smiled. There was old General Pinchy in the smoking area¡­ Wait¡­

    <em>Holy Mother of Creation!!!</em>

    He mmed a rubbery prehensile flipper onto the rm button and yelled about the sniper into the building¡¯s inte. The AI parsed his screaming into a series of priority messages and instantly transmitted them through the building, across the capital, and beyond.

    <em>Oh no!</em> he thought as he saw Admiral Jerbin exiting a driverless cab.

    He watched in horror as the admiral stopped, exactly in the sniper¡¯s line of fire, and pulled out his phone to read an emergency message about the sniper <em>that he was now standing directly in front of!</em>

    The sergeant lept from his desk and charged outside screaming.

    The admiral looked up at him in confusion.

    <strong>POP</strong>

    ¡°NO!¡± the sergeant screamed as the admiral¡¯s head and most of one of his side lobes turned into a green mist.

    ¡°SNIPER! SNIPER!!! GET DOWN!!!¡± the sergeant screamed, heedless of the danger, ¡°SNIPER!¡­ SNIPER!...¡±

    Ashley looked through her scope at the sergeant and smiled. The rocks on that guy! Lucky for him he was ¡°only¡± a master sergeant. He was probably very important in the local scheme of things but she only had so many rounds¡­ and she had taken a liking to the fellow. He gets to live.

    Besides, staying here any longer was really pushing her luck. Time to move.

    She slowly started to creep away.

    This was fun!

 Chapter The Fall of the Capital Enclave Part Two

    Chapter The Fall of the Capital Enve Part Two

    As the sun rose, Police Captain Josiah Lossburg looked around and cursed. Another four officers dead. Sometimest night the people now calling themselves the Forsaken decided to make their move.

    They took out three checkpoints on this side of the barrier when they did.

    He looked at his fellow officers, all downed with a single shot to the head (or their species¡¯s equivalent).

    These were good people, goddammit!¡­

    Not only had they been ughtered like livestock but somehow their vitals monitors still insisted that they were fine and they had been making their scheduled reports like clockwork. Nobody even knew they were dead until their relief came.

    A long white streak shot down from the sky with a frighteningly loud thunderp followed by three more. It looked like the navy was at it again.

    Snipers, orbital strikes, open battle in the streets¡­ This was the <em>capital</em>, goddammit! This shouldn¡¯t be happening! The Sol Wars were a century and a half ago!

    And to top it all off, all of the cops on the barricade had now pretty muchpletely forgotten about trigger discipline and safeties. Cops could handle being pissed off, that was part of the job¡­

    But <em>terrified</em>?¡­

    It was a disaster just waiting to happen. Hell, thest poor family that tried to surrender damn near got killed when the mother reached for her ID. Thank god she was only shot with a stunner!

    But word got out and no humans have approached the barricades since.

    So, now the entire enve is a nest of cornered rats and the cops are both angry and scared¡­ It¡¯s only a matter of time before all hell breaks loose and when it does it¡¯s going to be bad. He knew a lot of the people who are now on the other side and he knew what they could do. When that first cop crosses the line and does something stupid he, she, or it will sign all of their death warrants.

    He tried to talk everybody down, tell them that the people who killed their friends aren¡¯t the ones still inside the barricade. That¡¯s why they killed the guys in the first ce.

    It didn¡¯t help. All humans are starting to look the same to them¡­ including him. He actually overheard some people who he thought were his friends wondering if he was somehow involved with the killings. It was heartbreaking.

    Maybe Vance and the others had the right idea. He thought that he could somehow make a difference, make things better but it¡¯s hopeless¡­

    And more of him than he would like to admit wished he was on the other side of that barricade¡­

    Another group of strikes shot down from orbit. He frowned. For them to be throwing that much heat directly into the government district they must be getting desperate.

    There was movement on the other side of the barricade. A man holding a white g was approaching.

    ¡°Stand down!¡± Captain Lossberg shouted. ¡°The white g means that he is either surrendering or that he wants to talk!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, so he says,¡± one of the officers sneered as they tightened their grip on their riot-ster.

    ¡°It¡¯s something we take very seriously,¡± Captain Lossberg replied. ¡°We didn¡¯t lie about a white g, even during the Sol Wars¡­ usually¡­¡±

    Seeing that his fellow officers were unconvinced, he set down his weapon and walked through the barricade.

    He recognized the other person. He was one of the city councilmen.

    ¡°Hello,¡± the councilman said nervously clutching his g.

    ¡°Mornin¡¯,¡± Captain Lossberg replied. ¡°You kind of picked a bad time to be walking up on the barricades. We lost some of our ownst night but you probably already know that don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know for sure,¡± the man winced, ¡°All I knew was that they were heading out¡­ Which they have. They didn¡¯t want that battleship to start bombarding our home.¡±

    ¡°Awfully nice of them,¡± the captain said suspiciously. It didn¡¯t sound like something that Jessica Morgan¡¯s people would do.

    ¡°When the battleship entered the system they knew that they were done for so they decided to strike instead of waiting to be vaporized, along with half of our enve. They¡¯re gone! There¡¯s nobody left in here that wants to fight you anymore!¡±

    ¡°Lot of guns still in there though,¡± the captain replied. ¡°None of those AK¡¯s left.¡±

    ¡°But nobody wants to use them! The real soldiers told our ¡®irregrs¡¯ to go home. Said that there was no point in them dying too. Told them to go to their families. I¡¯m serious! We all surrender! We didn¡¯t want to fight you in the first ce! We just want all of this to be over with!¡±

    ¡°You and me both.¡±

    ¡°I need to talk to the government,¡± the councilman said. ¡°I have a map where our nobatants are sheltering. Nobody in those areas is armed, I swear!¡±

    ¡°You want to talk to the chief then,¡± Lossberg replied. ¡°Come on...¡±

    ***

    Ashley watched a brightly colored bug crawl along the roof on which she was lying covered by a shaggy nket of scanner defeating camouge.

    It was cute. She wondered how a real bug could have big eyes like that. It was like something out of a cartoon!

    Her watch silently vibrated on her wrist. The next train should arrive in just a few seconds.

    She bid farewell to her littlepanion and plugged in a thin fiber into the side of the Keralx¡¯s optics and peered through the lens.

    A few momentster people started filing out of the underground metro stop just over three kilometers away. As her eyes focused on each one powerful image analysis and multi-species facial recognition software on the attached miniptop startedbeling the people that were in a very extensive and detailed database (most of which was constructed using public information from thousands of Federation websites and news reports).

    <em>Duck¡­ duck¡­ duck¡­,</em> she thought as she read the names and other information floating over each person¡¯s head, <em>duck¡­ duck¡­ GOOSE!</em>

    Ssssszzzzz¡­

    <strong>POP</strong>

    People started to scream (well she imagined they were screaming¡­ She couldn¡¯t <em>actually</em> hear them) and scatter as a female¡­ something or other (Jesus, there are some weird looking boogers in the Federation) ¡­ suddenly had a ratherrge extra orifice in her chest (that¡¯s where the connected species database said was the best ce to hit them).

    <em>duck¡­ duck¡­ a ducking duck¡­ a running duck¡­ is that¡­ Yep!¡­ Goose!</em>

    Ssssszzzzz¡­

    <strong>POP</strong>

    The deputy assistant to the assistant of the minister of finance was nearly torn in half as he made the rather unfortunate discovery that the tinted polymer side of a bus stop doesn¡¯t make for very good cover at all¡­

    <em>Now who is that just inside the entrance?¡­ Is that a duck or is that a goose?¡­ Damn, it¡¯s a duck¡­ But that guy!¡­ Big goose!¡­ Damn¡­ he¡¯s running¡­ Love this thing but the rounds are a bit too slow for... Nice! He just gged down a car!</em>

    <strong>POP</strong> (car windows aren¡¯t particrly effective either)

    <em>Time to scoo-¡­ Oh hello there...</em>

    <strong>POP</strong>

    Now it was <em>definitely</em> time to go!

    She quickly packed up shop and, still draped in her shaggy covering, threw a small pad attached to a very fine wire onto the masonry at the edge of the building and lept off. The pad spread out to the size of a dinner te and held fast as the wire payed out on a small friction wheel, slowing her descent as she literally ran down the wall. About four meters from the ground she released the pad and it quickly retracted as shended in an alley¡­

    Just as a police car screeched to a halt¡­

    The police cruiser''s trunk silently opened.

    She hopped inside.

    ***

    ¡°(Cough cough¡­) Is everyone ok?¡± Colonel Laurent asked as he rolled over into a crouch. That st almost got them.

    ¡°Where¡¯s Jenkins?¡± Tawnie asked as she gasped for breath.

    ¡°He didn¡¯t get out in time,¡± a bleeding young woman replied. ¡°I was thest one. Everyone else¡­ they...¡±

    ¡°Shit!¡± Tawnie yelled. ¡°He had the fucking gear!¡± she kicked a crumbling wall in frustration.

    ¡°Is that it, then?¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°It is from us,¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°I still have our data but without his signal gear, I¡¯m <em>done</em>.¡±

    ¡°Too bad,¡± the colonel said sadly. ¡°I would have liked to see them hoisted by their own petard just once...¡±

    ¡°Hey, I said it was it from <em>me</em>,¡± Tawnie replied as she pulled out her tablet. ¡°It¡¯s not over, not by a damn sight. I got mom in on it and she knows some people. Let me just send her what I have and¡­ shit...¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡± the colonel asked as he pulled up hisbat map. He frowned. It was pretty grim. Then again, they knew how it would end when they started.

    ¡°She says that she isn¡¯t doing a goddamn thing unless I go home right now¡­ bitch...¡±

    ¡°You should go,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°You have done us a great service but things-¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°It ain¡¯t over till it¡¯s over and it ain¡¯t over!¡±

    Tawnie grabbed her phone and started arguing with her mother.

    The colonel smiled. She sounded a lot like his daughter so many years ago, of course the subject of the argument was just a little different.

    An old pain stabbed him through the heart. He still missed her even now.

    <em>I will see you soon, my dear,</em> he thought to himself as he reviewed the state of things.

    He winced.

    He probably wouldn¡¯t. If there is an afterlife then his will be a bit¡­ warmer¡­ than the one his daughter deserved.

    He shook himself and stared at the map. He would be able to rest soon enough, mes or no, but for now, he still had a job to do.

    ¡°Ok, it¡¯s all sorted,¡± Tawnie said as she hung up the phone.

    ¡°Farewell, mon cheri,¡± the colonel said with a smile. ¡°Do try to-¡±

    ¡°What the fuck are you talking about?¡± Tawnie grinned. ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere.¡±

    ¡°But you just told your mother...¡±

    ¡°I lied,¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°By the time she figures out I am not on my way back to Porkietown she will have cracked that code.¡±

    ¡°Tawnie, go.¡± the colonel said firmly.

    ¡°I can still help you guys! You need me!¡±

    ¡°I need to know that at least someone survived. Go. Live. People need to know what we did here,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°I mean it, child. It¡¯s nearly over. I¡¯m sending my final orders now. I¡¯m telling whoever is left to stop engaging the enemy and try to bypass them instead. We will perform one final strike as deep into the Government district as we can, try to make them have to bombard something important.¡±

    ¡°Well if it¡¯s important that you want,¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°Then go here!¡± she said pointing at the map.

    ¡°That building? It¡¯s nowhere near themand buildings or any of their high value targets.¡±

    ¡°I thought you wanted to do some real damage,¡± Tawnie grinned. ¡°That building is The Locus.¡±

    ¡°The Locus?¡±

    ¡°I thought you guys did your homework!¡± Tawnieughed. ¡°The Locus is the high and holy grand data center for the Federation and is home to the archives¡­ you know¡­ The Federation Archives?¡­ The single greatest repository of knowledge in the entire fucking gxy?¡±

    ¡°Aren¡¯t there copies?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, <em>copies</em>,¡± Tawnie scoffed. ¡°But that¡¯s the original source! It¡¯s the guaranteed corruption free gold standard¡­ and it¡¯s the <em>only</em> ce that is guaranteed to have <em>all</em> of the information, including the stuff they have suppressed or redacted. If it goes away...¡±

    ¡°But what about the elder races? Surely they have clean copies.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not,¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°Hacker legends state that there was some really bad blood and some serious mistrust between some of the ¡®founding fathers¡¯ and part of it was over who had ownership of the archive, especially the original scans or hardcopy of the really good stuff. In the end it was decided that nobody would own it and it would be housed here. It <em>could</em> be the <em>only</em> source of some things and even if there is a copy this is the only <em>certified</em> source. It¡¯s like in the old days when the kilogram was an actual chunk of metal. There were copies, sure, but there was only one true kilogram. We can get our hands on the Federation¡¯s kilogram!¡±

    ¡°And speaking of big certified standards,¡± Tawnie grinned, ¡°The Locus has one other thing in there as well, The Clock.¡±

    ¡°The clock?¡±

    ¡°You know ¡®Federation Standard Time?¡¯¡± she asked. ¡°That¡¯s it. It is what sets all of the clocks in the entire Federation. The ce has its own hyperspace beacon that sends out constant date and time info, like a heartbeat. Fucking that up doesn¡¯t sound like it would do much but when ites to hyperspatialworking? It¡¯s kind of a big deal. It wouldn¡¯t take much to really screw things up. How do you not know this?¡±

    ¡°Our mission was to hold the enve, not go on a vandalism spree,¡± the colonel chuckled. ¡°But if this ce is as valuable as you say, then would the <em>Ascension</em> vaporize it?¡±

    ¡°You know,¡± Tawnie grinned, ¡°They might not!¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s a thought!¡± the colonel grinned. ¡°I think I need to change those final orders a bit.¡±

    ¡°See, that¡¯s why you don¡¯t fucking die!¡± Tawnie said punching him in the arm.

    ¡°Do you think those of you who remain could get us there unseen, like before?¡±

    ¡°Now that the cat¡¯s out of the bag it would be damn near impossible...¡± Tawnie trailed off and then her eyes lit up. ¡°I have an idea!¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± the colonel asked. ¡°Do tell...¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t hide you¡­ We do the opposite!¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I gotta call mom!¡±

    ***

    Jessica frowned as she read thetest reports. She knew this was likely to happen but the fact that it happened so quickly was definitely not a good sign.

    Bombardment¡­

    In the Capital City it was being done by the <em>Ascension</em>, an elite ship with an elite crew whose uracy was on par with any ship in the gxy.

    It was surgically precise and Colonel Laurent drew the fire away from the enve.

    Elsewhere¡­

    It was getting messy, too messy. She knew that the Federation didn¡¯t exactly have a high value assigned to the lives of her people but, damn¡­

    Damn¡­

    She held her head in her hands. <em>Her people</em>¡­ Her <em>actual</em> people¡­ They were targeting the ¡°good ones¡±¡­ the people in the enves¡­ The ones that were the most pure, the most innocent, the most unsullied¡­

    The ones closest to what humanity once was¡­ before the nightmare¡­

    The ones that were the real reason why she became the Devil in the first ce¡­

    Fuck.

    She knew this wasing. She did. But it didn¡¯t make this any easier.

    The damage was already done. Between that whore Patricia and the boots of the Federation their innocence, something that she had managed to protect even through the fucking Sol Wars, was gone.

    In the end, even she couldn¡¯t protect them. All she could do was try to frantically gather up all the ones that she could and once again shove them into ships and throw them out into the void.

    It was a stupid dream anyway, a nice one, but stupid. Preserve the unpreservable, rebuild the unrebuildable¡­

    But she had gotten <em>so close</em>¡­ So fucking close¡­

    Story of her life, get impossibly close and then fail spectacrly. Make so many deals with the Devil you actually be them only to trade your soul and the souls of countless others for nothing but a handful of ash.

    She deserved it, but they didn¡¯t. They didn¡¯t deserve any of this.

    They never did.

    <em>God-fucking-dammit!</em>

    She wanted a bump so bad¡­ Just one little line¡­ something to soothe her soul¡­ lift her spirits¡­ A fucking drink if nothing else¡­ <em>Something</em>¡­

    ¡°Oh fuck me...¡± she muttered.

    ¡°An irregr request, to be sure,¡± Terrance said as he walked in holding a pot of tea, ¡°but if you think it would help...¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t tempt me,¡± she smiled as he poured her a fresh cup. ¡°I need some new vices, something not addictive.¡±

    ¡°And you don¡¯t find¡­ Oh you poor thing...¡±

    ¡°I <em>said</em> don¡¯t tempt me,¡± sheughed.

    ***

    On the bridge of the <em>Ascension</em> Captain Loqurir looked at his disy in confusion.

    ¡°Are you certain this is correct?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± one of the bridge crew replied. ¡°Those orders came directly from Federation Command. Considering the¡­ scale¡­ of it I have already received verification. These orders are legitimate.¡±

    ¡°¡­Very well...¡± the captain said dubiously. ¡°Open fire.¡±

    ***

    Explosion after explosion rocked the government district as bolt after bolt descended from the heavens.

    ¡°Where are they alling from?!?¡± the Admiral of the Navy shouted as he read thetest report. ¡°Those fuckers are everywhere! How did they break through our line?!?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, sir,¡± an officer whined. ¡°Cameras and sensors all across the district are spotting them but they manage to disappear almost as quickly.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t let them another yard closer to the inner district!¡± the Admiral shouted. ¡°Do whatever you have to do! We <em>can¡¯t</em> let them through! Vaporize them!!! Buildings we can rece. People we can rehire. What we can¡¯t rece is the Federation¡¯s image if those animals sack the fucking capital! What we cannot afford to lose is the senior leadership of the Federation! Do you know how many senior officials have already died today, how may g officers we have lost?!? Stop them!!!¡±

    ¡°We are trying sir,¡± the officer replied. ¡°Whenever we detect a concentration of them wey down fire. We are coordinating with the Army to-¡±

    ¡°The Army?¡± the Admiral scoffed, ¡°They have been less than useless! What can we actually expect from those losers? They haven¡¯t won a single engagement yet, not without us turning the battlefield to ss first.¡±

    ¡°They are had some sess engaging the human forces after they have been softened up with space-strikes, sir. We are trying to use them to confirm the effectiveness of the strikes and to get better targeting data. Right now we are depending on data from-¡±

    He was cut off by his phone ringing. He scowled. It was Federation Intelligence.

    What did those assholes want? Didn¡¯t they know he was busy?

    ¡°What?¡± the admiral snapped.

    ¡°What the flying fuck do you think you are doing?¡± Gvx-Taa, the director of Federation Intelligence screeched.

    ¡°My job!¡± the admiral yelled back. ¡°The only person around here who is! The army is useless and you guys...¡±

    ¡°Your job is to be a dumb fuck, then,¡± Gvx-Taa yelled around a mouthful of bile, ¡°unless you are on Jessica Morgan¡¯s payroll.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    ¡°You are blowing up the fucking government district, you fucking moron!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m targeting the enemy, something that you would know if-¡±

    ¡°You are targeting static, you stupid <em>shit!¡±</em> Gvx-Taa screamed his voice bubbling through a throat full of acrid fluid. ¡°It¡¯s the oldest trick in the fucking book and you retards fell for it¡­¡±

    ¡°Our data-¡±

    ¡°Is corrupted!¡± Gvx-Taa shouted, ¡°Unless the humans have mastered time and space to such an extent that the same person can be in four different locations at the same time, you are a first ss buffoon. Run facial recognition on the fucking camera feeds, jackass. You¡¯ve been targeting exactly where the <em>humans</em> have been telling you to hit! They¡¯ve basically been calling in strikes for the past half hour! Do you even know what you¡¯ve done?!? Do you know how many <em>of our people</em> you killed? If you don¡¯t, give the humans a call and ask <em>them</em>! Maybe they will stopughing long enough to give you an answer!¡±

    ¡°How dare you-¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have time to deal with your ineptitude right now, Krethgar,¡± Gvx-Taa snapped cutting him off. ¡°You order <em>one</em> more orbital strike without properly verifying the target and I¡¯ll send a kill team over there myself! I¡¯m not kidding. One more fuck up and I will have you <em>killed!</em>¡±

    Gvx-Taa terminated the call.

    The Admiral of the Navy started to shake as a long wavering scream escaped his throat.

    He turned to face the officer in his office who was just standing there, twitching¡­

    <em>¡±YOU¡­.¡±</em> he hissed.

    His phone rang again.

    It was the Prime Minister¡­

    The Vulxeen turned even grayer as he reluctantly picked up the phone¡­

    ***

    Gvx-Taa practically vomited into his ever growing bucket as he threw hismunicator across the room.

    ¡°Fucking dumbass!¡± he shouted.

    ¡°So,¡± [emailprotected]@ growled, ¡°Have you taken the admiral off of Jessica¡¯s payroll.¡±

    ¡°Exactly what would it take to actually kill that fucking grey-pig?¡±

    ¡°We do have that nuke in the basement...¡±

    ¡°We have a <em>nuke</em>?¡± Jaxona asked with big eyes.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you already ¡®remember¡¯?¡± Gvx-Taa buzzed with wry amusement.

    ¡°Yeah...¡± Jaxona said with a little annoyed wiggle, ¡°my memories are¡­ just a little pissed off at the moment. I think the words ¡®on your fucking own¡¯ might havee up once or twice...¡±

    ¡°Oh, because we did exactly what she told us to do?¡± Gvx-Taa replied with a buzz.

    ¡°Eee!¡± Jaxona yelped as she thrashed back and forth. ¡°Ouch!¡­ Abyss, Gvx!¡­ You know Voidying well that what happened was-¡±

    ¡°Just fucking with the evil spirits,¡± Gvx-Taa chuckled.

    ¡°Well don¡¯t!¡± Jaxona snapped. ¡°Those assholes in those closed door council meetings took what was already fucked up beyond belief and¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah, sorry, old eel,¡± Gvx-Taa replied. ¡°They took what was already a nuke and salted it. On the bright side maybe <em>now</em> they will actually do something about data security. God, what I wouldn¡¯t give to have She on our payroll.¡±

    Jaxona just circled her globe and grumbled for a bit.

    ¡°So now that we¡¯ve stopped the burning of the capital,¡± [emailprotected]@ said as he reached for his coffee, ¡°We can move on to trying to figure out exactly where those soldiers went. Both our profilers and what little we have managed to intercept online strongly indicates that they won¡¯t try to return to the enve and that they have pretty much epted that they are going to die here. They aren¡¯t just going to conveniently roll onto their ws.¡±

    ¡°Shit,¡± Gvx-Taa muttered. ¡°That¡¯s right. There is a good chance that they want to do more than just have us shoot ourselves for a bit.¡±

    ¡°Well they aren¡¯t pushing further into the Government District. That¡¯s where they sent the bombardment. What are they up to?¡±

    ¡°Onest big score before they, what do humans do? Oh yeah, get dragged down into the mes of their Hell?¡­ Something big...¡± [emailprotected]@ mused.

    ¡°Oh!¡­ Oh Creators!¡­ <em>Oh no!</em>...¡± Jaxona said as she shuddered. ¡°Map! Map now! Map!¡±

    Gvx-Taa pulled up a holographic disy of Capital City with thetest intel oveid upon it.

    Jaxona rushed up to the map in a panic.

    ¡°They were herest¡­ Oh please no!...¡± she said in horror, ¡°¡­ and our forces are here¡­ and the spurious inputs are mainly here¡­.¡±

    She thrashed frantically.

    ¡°I know where they are going! Oh Creators¡­ It¡¯s bad! It¡¯s really bad, guys¡­ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!¡±

    She thrashed some more blowing a curtain of bubbles.

    ¡°What?¡± [emailprotected]@ asked urgently.

    ¡°The Locus! They are headed to the fucking Locus!¡± she howled. ¡°They <em>can¡¯t</em> be allowed to seed!¡±

    ¡°Ok, The Locus is pretty serious but-¡±

    <em>¡±You don¡¯t understand!¡±</em> Jaxona said grabbing Gvx-Taa and shaking him. ¡°There is <em>someone</em> at The Locus right now¡­ someone <em>important</em>¡­ someone <em>really fucking important</em>¡­ someone that they <em>cannot</em> be allowed to reach¡­ Oh Creators!¡­ <em>They can¡¯t!!!</em>¡­ <em>Fuck!</em>¡­¡±

    Jaxona started hyperventting (and when a fish does that it¡¯s pretty fucking impressive).

    ¡°Who is at The Locus?¡± [emailprotected]@ asked, rather confused.

    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t say¡­ but <em>trust me</em>¡­ If <em>anything</em> happens to them the Kalent will <em>lose their fucking minds</em>!¡±

    ¡°And they would me the humans,¡± [emailprotected]@ mused. ¡°Maybe not the worst-¡±

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t <em>understand</em>,¡± Jaxona gasped. ¡°They will me <em>everybody</em>. They will go full bore <em>Terran</em> on your ass, the human¡¯s ass¡­ my ass¡­ Everybody¡¯s ass!¡­ Everybody¡¯s ass gets its own personal Terran! I can¡¯t go into much but the Federation is on pretty thin ice with a lot of Kalent as it is. If <em>anything</em> happens to that person they might just decide that the whole thing was a mistake¡­ and <em>fix</em> it¡­ At the very least, lose that individual and you lose the Kalent!¡­ I gotta¡­ I gotta make some calls¡­ sorry...¡±

    Jaxona sprinted from the room.

    Gvx-Taa looked over at [emailprotected]@.

    ¡°Figures,¡± he said after a few seconds.

    [emailprotected]@ picked up hismunicator and dialed a number.

    ¡°The Locus?¡± Gvx-Taa asked.

    ¡°...And they aren¡¯t answering...¡±

    ¡°Fuck.¡±

    ***

    ¡°EEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeEEEEeeeEEEEEe!¡±

    Morthshana ran screaming down the hallway of the mound throwing out a huge plume of excitement and pure unadulterated hrity and joy.

    ¡°eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!¡± she screamed as she plowed past, through, and sometimes over anything and anyone in her path.

    ¡°eeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeee!¡± she screamed as she mmed against door leading into the Matriarch¡¯s chamber and iled at the controls.

    ¡°EeEeeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeEEEe!¡± she screamed as she started squeezing between the panels as they slowly separated ttening her body to fit through a deceptively tiny crack.

    ¡°EEEEEeeeeEEeeeEEeEEEEeee!¡± she screamed incoherently as she absolutely flooded the chamber with a thick aroma of pure delight.

    The Matriarch looked up from her reports curiously.

    ¡°EEEEEeeeeEEE!¡­ EEEEeeeEE!¡­ Eee!¡­ E...¡± she gasped.

    ¡°Well this should be good,¡± the matriarch chuckled.

    ¡°You will NEVER guess what JUST HAPPENED!!!¡± Morthshana squealed happily.

    ***

    In The Locus four Kalent stood protectively around arge ck object as they red at the humans with pure hatred and fury.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s in there?¡± Tawnie asked as she poked the strange glossy side.

    ¡°<em>The death of your entire pathetic species if any harmes to it!</em>¡± one of the Kalent hissed.

    ¡°It¡¯s been tried, fish-stick,¡± Tawnie chuckled as she knocked on the side of it. ¡°Hello? Anybody in there?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact,¡± a strange alien voice responded from inside the chamber, ¡°there is.¡±

    It sounded amused.

 Chapter The Fall of the Capital Enclave (3)

    Chapter The Fall of the Capital Enve (3)

    ¡°So,¡± Tawnie asked as she peered at the long ck sarcophagus-like object, ¡°what are you, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Something so far beyond your pathetic exist-¡± one of the Kalent started to hiss.

    ¡°Me?¡± the object replied, ¡°nothing much, just another Kalent.¡±

    ¡°Imma gonna call bullshit on that,¡± Tawnie snickered.

    ¡°<em>How dare you speak to him that way?!?</em>¡± one of the Kalent attendants shrieked.

    ¡°You what me to what?¡± the object replied, deeply amused.

    Colonel Laurent walked into the room.

    ¡°What do we have here?¡± he asked Tawnie.

    ¡°Oh, just a really pissed off fish te and this other thing,¡± she replied poking the ck sarcophagus.

    ¡°Hello there,¡± the sarcophagus said cheerfully. ¡°Are you the human in charge?¡±

    ¡°That I am,¡± the colonel replied, ¡°I¡¯m-¡±

    ¡°We demand that you release us immediately!¡± one of the Kalent shouted. ¡°Your whole species is-¡±

    ¡°I would appreciate it if you would allow me to speak, please,¡± the sarcophagus said calmly.

    ¡°Yes, my lord!¡± the Kalent said bowing respectfully. ¡°Sorry, my lord!¡±

    ¡°Oooo!¡± Tawnie gushed, ¡°<em>My Lord!</em>¡± she eximed as she dipped into a mock-curtsy and then grinned at the Kalent. ¡°You probably shouldn¡¯t have told us that, chief.¡±

    ¡°My status is perhaps overly inted,¡± the sarcophagus replied with a chuckle. ¡°However I must inform you that the Kalent people hold me in very high regard. While my passing would not impact things operationally their emotional response would be disproportionate to my actual value.¡±

    ¡°Right,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°You¡¯re free to go.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Tawnie eximed. ¡°We have ourselves a gold-tier hostage here, colonel! We can¡¯t-¡±

    ¡°What we can¡¯t do is have the Kalent screaming for our blood,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°We are here for The Locus, not some fish-king.¡±

    ¡°What are your intentions concerning The Locus?¡± the sarcophagus asked sounding concerned for the first time.

    ¡°What do you think, Goldie?¡± Tawnie grinned. ¡°The Federation wants to <em>erase</em> us so we thought we would return the favor.¡±

    The Kalent started to look at each other nervously.

    ¡°Our ultimate goal is yet to be decided,¡± the colonel said firmly looking over at Tawnie. ¡°Our main objective was to secure a site suitable for our final stand. If the <em>Ascension</em> is to incinerate us, let them try to do it here. I assume the actual storage drives are well protected, yes? Even the Federation is not so foolish as to have their archive easily destroyed.¡±

    ¡°That they are,¡± the sarcophagus replied. ¡°The entire facility can be burned to the ground and those drives will be perfectly safe.¡±

    ¡°An underground bunker?¡±

    ¡°Yes, deep underground.¡±

    ¡°Thought so,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°And you can gain ess?¡±

    ¡°I can.¡±

    ¡°Then you will do that for us before you go.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± the sarcophagus replied.

    ¡°I think you might not fully grasp the situation in which you find yourself,¡± the colonel said meaningfully.

    ¡°Oh I do, believe me,¡± the sarcophagus replied. ¡°You are humans. What you will do when properly motivated is clearly documented. However, no matter how much value the Kalent ascribe to my life, I ascribe even more value to the archives. I will not help you breach the vault.¡±

    ¡°Oh we have ways of making you,¡± Tawnie said malevolently.

    ¡°You so much as <em>touch him</em>...¡± one of the Kalent hissed, ¡°and we will annihte every single member of your entire species!¡±

    ¡°No, my child,¡± the sarcophagus said with a chuckle, ¡°You will <em>try</em> to annihte them. The humans are worse than a cancer. If you seek to ¡®cure¡¯ the gxy then you must be able to eliminate every single cell but unlike cancer the humans will be exponentially more dangerous the fewer than remain. It is not an endeavor that we wish to start, regardless of what happens to me. Even if we do seed the final cost will be more than we wish to pay. If you have never respected my wisdom before or will never again do it now. We do not want to y genocide with the humans. They are better at it.¡±

    ¡°Regardless of whether or not you decide to help us,¡± the colonel said, ¡°you will be physically unharmed. As I¡¯ve said, we have no desire to add to our already considerable troubles. However, the ultimate fate of your precious archives depends on your cooperation.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    ¡°If you assist us, then the fate of the archives and everything in it depends upon The General,¡± the colonel said with a smile. ¡°If you refuse we will still attempt to gain entry and if we do, I will do as much damage as I possibly can.¡±

    ¡°¡­ And this, my children, is why we do not wish to make an enemy of the humans,¡± the sarcophagus said after a few seconds.

    The sarcophagus fell silent.

    ¡°I have a counter-proposal,¡± the sarcophagus said after a few moments. ¡°You leave the archives untouched and I remain. The Federation will not throw so much as a milliwatt at this structure as long as I am inside. Should they do so, It will be their heads, not yours, that will be sought by my brothers and sisters. I can see to that.¡±

    ¡°My Lord!¡± one of the Kalent eximed in terror.

    ¡°I have spoken,¡± the sarcophagus said firmly. ¡°and I¡¯ve transmitted the situation to my ship. If the Federation strikes this ce, they strike me and therefore strike the Kalent.¡±

    ¡°Now isn¡¯t that a kettle of fish!¡± Tawnie chuckled.

    ¡°You can bargain for the archives,¡± the colonel said thoughtfully, ¡°but only the archives. Anything else in here is fair game.¡±

    ¡°Including all the personal information for the Federation citizens!¡± Tawnie eximed.

    ¡°What is this now?¡± the colonel said looking daggers at Tawnie.

    ¡°Oh¡­ yeah...¡± Tawnie said sheepishly. ¡°I forgot to tell you, the Federation keeps all of the census data here too including gic info. Um¡­¡±

    ¡°Criminals...¡± the colonel said with a chuckle. ¡°That information now belongs to The General. Tawnie, start grabbing it and give <em>the only copy</em> to us.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re worse than my mom,¡± she grinned. ¡°Ok, fish-stick, where are the master terminals?¡±

    ¡°Assist her,¡± the sarcophagus said to one of his attendants.

    ¡°My Lord?!?¡±

    ¡°A <em>human</em> has a loaded gun pointed at the archives. Have you not read what they did to their own ¡®Library of Alexandria¡¯? Give. Them. What. They. Want.¡±

    ¡°Yes, My Lord,¡± the Kalent said glumly. ¡°This way¡­ <em>human</em>...¡± it hissed and then walked off.

    Tawnie, with a giggle and a skip, followed.

    ***

    ¡°Excellent, Colonel!¡± Jessica eximed happily as she looked at Colonel Laurent¡¯s image on one of her archaic t-panel disys. ¡°Once again you amaze me!¡±

    ¡°Credit where credit is due,¡± the colonel replied, ¡°One of the locals suggested the target.¡±

    ¡°Still, you got there and took it!¡± she replied. ¡°And what is this¡­ thing¡­ you have captured?¡±

    ¡°I have not seen exactly what it is,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°I only know that the Kalent seem to nearly worship it. Our scanners can¡¯t prate its container but I¡¯m almost certain that it is not the same species. The dimensions of the bot don¡¯t match. It¡¯s likely muchrger than any Kalent we have ever recorded.¡±

    ¡°There is much we don¡¯t know about those eels. Do you have an interrogator with you?¡±

    ¡°Sadly, none have survived, ma¡¯am. Only seventeen of us remain.¡±

    ¡°The fact that any of you do is a testament to your leadership, Philippe,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Wait. How did you take The Locus with only seventeen men?¡±

    ¡°The ce was nearly deserted when we arrived. The only upants were fifteen Kalent and that strange creature. I suspect they had already ¡®taken¡¯ the facility prior to our arrival, ma¡¯am. All we had to do was breach the doors and walk in. We didn¡¯t have to fire a single shot.¡±

    ¡°Well be sure to thank them then,¡± Jessicaughed.

    ¡°To ensure their cooperation I had to promise to leave the actual archives untouched, ma¡¯am, but they have given up everything else, including The Clock. From what our hacker tells us if we destroy the clock, we can disrupt the entire Federation hyperspatialwork including banking and their Fed Net. It will cause chaos! It seems to be a no-brainer but I wanted to consult with you first, to coordinate the blow if nothing else.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m d that you did!¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Yes, we will definitely want to take out that clock but we need to time it very carefully.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am. With that critter in our pocket the Feds will not attack us. We should be able to hold this position as long as necessary but as you know, nothing is certain.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell me that,¡± Jessicaughed ruefully. ¡°trust me. Just hang on as long as you can. If it looks like you can¡¯t hold the line, destroy The Clock but for God¡¯s sake give me as much of a heads up as you can.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have to hold for long,¡± Jessica said and then paused. ¡°I hope that I¡¯m wrong. I really do,¡± she added sadly.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Nothing, Just grab as much information as you can and sit tight.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ***

    Thousands of humans crowded into Avalon Park, thergest open area in Capital City¡¯s Porkietown and more arrived every minute.

    Music soon broke out as bands set up and started to y. People started singing porkie spirituals and folk-music, songs like ¡°Amazing Grace¡± and ¡°We Shall Ovee¡± were soon sung by thousands.

    Councilman Andrews smiled despite the terrors of the day. It was like one of those peace demonstrations from the history books!

    Food trucks soon appeared, handing out meals free of charge soon to be followed by members of a dozen races all hauling in food and water.

    ¡°This is amazing!¡± a glittering blue jova eximed as he walked up.

    ¡°It takes a lot to break a porkie, Klkon,¡± the councilman said with pride. ¡°Thanks again for all of your people¡¯s help.¡±

    ¡°Think nothing of it,¡± the Jova said twitching its scales causing colors to shimmer across its body. ¡°Feed the hungry. ke those who thirst. Shelter those who are scoured by the sands. This is the way of our people, Andrews. So it is and so it shall always be.¡±

    ¡°And we are grateful, but you should get out of here.¡±

    ¡°As it takes a lot to break a porkie,¡± Klkon chuckled, ¡°it takes a lot to scare off a Jova. Besides, this is a peaceful gathering.¡±

    ¡°Hopefully,¡± the councilman replied.

    ¡°You are afraid of this turning into a riot?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± the councilman replied, ¡°that¡¯s not what I¡¯m afraid of...¡±

    ***

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you at the gathering?¡± the Jova major asked Captain Stewart, the leader of the Morgan Security detachment.

    ¡°Because we¡¯rebatants,¡± the captain replied in a matter of fact tone. ¡°We aren¡¯tying down our arms, that¡¯s for goddamn sure!¡±

    ¡°But couldn¡¯t you hide among the civilians?¡±

    ¡°We take the distinction betweenbatant and nonbatant very seriously, Major. If we say a group aren¡¯tbatants then that¡¯s exactly what we mean. You don¡¯t want to start fucking with that. As soon as you do then the designation has no meaning. We¡¯ve even told the irregrs to stay out of there. If you are packing heat then you aren¡¯t in the park or the theatre, simple as that. Even we have our limits and that¡¯s one line we do not cross. The ¡®white g¡¯, the ¡®red cross¡¯ or ¡®red crescent¡¯ (or Starshield), and the term ¡®nobatant¡¯ are all things that we honor.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°What you won¡¯t do defines you as much as what you will,¡± the major said. ¡°We aren¡¯t the ck Angels.¡±

    ¡°The ck Angels?¡±

    ***

    ¡°Admiral,¡± a naval captain said urgently. ¡°I implore you to reconsider.¡±

    ¡°What is there to reconsider?¡± the Admiral of the Navy snapped. ¡°The humans are gathering a huge force! They have to be stopped!¡±

    ¡°It is a gathering of civilians, sir!¡±

    The Admiral of the Navy hissed angrily.

    ¡°The humans have done nothing but unleash dirty trick after dirty trick. They have done nothing but deceive and lie from the start! You honestly believe that isn¡¯t yet another trick?!?¡±

    ¡°Based on their and history they-¡±

    ¡°<em>And they know that we will think that!</em>¡± the admiral shouted. ¡°These are the same people that had us turn our guns on our own civilians! Do you honestly believe that they respect the concept?!?¡±

    ¡°Sir, there is a real difference between-¡±

    ¡°There are over forty-thousand people in that park!¡± admiral screeched. ¡°Forty thousand! We can¡¯t survive another attack from them¡­ <em>we can¡¯t</em>!¡­ Send up the target!¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t, sir! This is wrong!¡±

    ¡°Then you are relieved,¡± the admiral said as he reached for hismunicator.

    ***

    ¡°Thank you all foring,¡± Councilor Andrews said into a microphone as he climbed onto a makeshift stage. ¡°These are dark days, not only for our people but for the entire Federation, but we have faced dark days before, haven¡¯t we?¡± he asked

    The crowd broke out into cheers.

    He smiled.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± he smiled. ¡°We¡¯ve faced worse! We¡¯ve faced worse and we prevailed, not through violence and savagery but through peace and strength of character! Not all of us were raiders! Not all of us were murderers. Let us show this city and the whole Federation <em>real humanity, real-</em>¡±

    The councilman¡­ and thousands of others suddenly ceased to exist as a massive bolt of energy streaked down from the heavens¡­

    ***

    Hundreds of humans fled in terror down Porkietown¡¯s streets as bolt after bolt mmed down upon them. The park and the theatre were gone, turned into vapor and ss in microseconds.

    Joanna, deafened and partially blind staggered towards one of the metro entrances dragging her child behind her.

    <em>Why?!?¡­ Why?!?...</em> she thought as she stumbled. John was dead. She was sure of it. He had gone to one of the food carts along with their son to get them some soy-burgers.

    <em>Oh God¡­ Billy¡­ Billy¡¯s dead!</em>

    What little vision she had was further obscured by tears as she reached the metro. A surging mob closed in around her and it was all she could do to keep on her feet and her grip on her daughter''s arm.

    They were swept down the stairs, across the tforms, and into the tunnel.

    Joanna tried to keep her feet as they fled down the tunnel. They had to get out!

    <em>They had to get out!</em>

    ***

    Down the tunnel a squad of terrified Federation soldiers manned a hastily erected barricade.

    Trooper Veluxa anxiously looked at her scanner as she stood guard behind her ster HMG.

    She was scared, really scared.

    The humans¡­

    Wherever the humans went, death followed.

    She had been lucky so far. Herpany had been miraculously spared but the others in theirmand¡­

    <em>Creators!...</em>

    But their luck had run out. They had been send down here into this¡­ <em>tomb</em>¡­ with the orders to contain the humans if they tried to leave their enve.

    How in all of the Hells was she supposed to do that? These humans¡­ they weren¡¯t natural! They were the reaper of souls. They were the keepers of the gates.

    They were death itself¡­

    She heard Loxxie quietly praying as he stood next to her. For some reason it made her angry. She wanted to grab him and scream that he was wasting his breath. The Creators didn¡¯t care about them.

    Suddenly the temperature of the tunnel started to slightly rise and, one after another the sensors ced down the tunnel started to send alerts.

    ¡°Oh Creators...¡± she whispered as an unnatural howling and shrieking could be heard.

    <em>The humans wereing!</em>

    ¡°Halt!¡± her captain shouted over a sonic amplifier. ¡°Halt! Lay down your weapons and halt!!!¡±

    Veluxa¡¯s hearts froze in her chest as the humans came into view. Oh creators! There were hundreds¡­ thousands¡­ of them charging down the tunnel.

    <em>The humans wereing and they were all about to die!</em>

    ¡°Halt!¡­ Halt!...¡± her captain shrieked. ¡°¡­ Please!¡­ Please stop!¡­ Please Hal-¡±

    Veluxa opened fire. Herrades instantly followed suit.

    ¡°Aaaa!¡± the captain howled. ¡°Hold your fire! They aren¡¯t armed! Hold your fire! Stop!¡­ Please stop!¡±

    Veluxa kept her finger on the trigger.

    ***

    Joanna screamed as ster bolts tore past her blowing the people to her left and right apart. She instinctively dove to the ground and was trampled and soon partially buried under a pile of those who fell.

    It was over in a matter of seconds.

    She clutched her child¡¯s hand as she numbly struggled to her feet.

    Something was wrong.

    She looked down¡­

    All she had left of her daughter was a severed arm.

    She screamed and fell to her knees.

    ***

    Veluxa, shaking, looked down the tunnel.

    <em>Oh Creators! What have I done?</em>

    She threw up and fell to the ground, weeping.

    ***

    Silence fell as everyone looked at Captain Stewart.

    ¡°Creators, Captain...¡± the Jova major whispered in horror.

    ¡°And that is the other reason why we didn¡¯t go down there,¡± he said calmly as he reached for a cord that was around his neck.

    He pulled it off of his head and held the small rectangle that was attached as a small screen glowed to life.

    He started to type.

    ***

    Inside the small device was arge chip. Inside that chip was eight-thousand one-hundred and ny-two electrons¡­

    Eight-thousand one-hundred and ny-two very special electrons¡­ One very special little kilobyte.

    As he typed some of the electrons were triggered, causing them to break entanglement¡­

    Light years away, on Raylesh, there was another, muchrger device¡­

    In it were another eight-thousand one-hundred and ny-two electrons, all of which were enclosed in their own tiny sealed vials surrounded by some very special detectors¡­

    Detectors that shouldn¡¯t exist¡­ Detectors that were capable of detecting something that was impossible to detect¡­

    One by one some of the detectors started to notice something unnoticable¡­

    And their output changed from a ¡°1¡± to a ¡°0¡±¡­

    It only worked once per pair of electrons and there was no way to reply¡­

    But a message was received...

    ***

    Jessica sighed unhappily as she read the report.

    It was about what she figured, those <em>animals</em>¡­

    Over fifty-thousand dead¡­

    Fifty-thousandpletely innocent men, women, and children¡­ dead¡­

    Fifty-thousand innocents¡­ The rarest of all things, innocent humans¡­ dead¡­

    She closed her eyes for a moment. Why was this bothering her? She had watched <em>billions</em> of innocents die in her life. What was another fifty-thousand?

    Still, it bothered her¡­ It bothered her a lot.

    <em>This sucks...</em>

    She took a deep breath, put on her ¡°game face¡±, and called for Terence.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡± he replied as his face appeared on one of her screens.

    ¡°Please get me in contact with Kor.¡±

    ¡°I already have,¡± Terrance replied. ¡°She is waiting on channel fifty-seven.¡±

    ¡°This is why I keep you around,¡± she replied with a smile.

    She pressed an icon and a smartly-dressed Vulxeen female appeared on her main screen.

    ¡°How are you, you porkie whore?¡± the Vulxeen asked with a grin.

    ¡°Oh just lovely, you grey-pig slut!¡± Jessica said with a smile.

    ¡°No, seriously,¡± the Vulxeen said with a sympathetic air. ¡°What you guys are facing¡­ it¡¯s...¡±

    ¡°A very wise human once said, a single death is a tragedy,¡± Jessica said with a cold gleam in her eyes, ¡°a million deaths is a statistic.¡±

    ¡°¡­ When I first met you,¡± the Vulxeen said after a few seconds, ¡°you impressed me so much that I tried to be just like you¡­ for years¡­ And I¡¯ve spent the rest of my life trying very hard to not let that happen.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s why I like you,¡± Jessica said with augh. ¡°I like smart people. So¡­ It¡¯s happened. Are you ready?¡±

    ¡°Ready to go!¡± the Vulxeen replied. ¡°Everything is in ce.¡±

    ¡°How long will it take?¡±

    ¡°One hour.¡±

    Jessica nodded.

    ¡°There has been an unforeseen development.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Korvulxxha asked twitching her mouthparts in their equivalent of a raised eyebrow.

    ¡°My forces in the Capital have seized The Locus. We can take down The Clock.¡±

    ¡°Really now?¡± Korvulxxha purred. ¡°That changes things just a little. We should add some of the big funds to the list.¡±

    ¡°Agreed,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°How long?¡±

    ¡°With the new trades¡­ Hmm...¡± Korvulxxha mused. ¡°Two hours.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Jessica said with a smile. ¡°Proceed with thergest short sell in the history of the Federation.¡±

    ¡°dly,¡± Korvulxxha grinned. ¡°Oh this is going to be delicious! I can hear the wails and the delightful little ¡®sts¡¯ of fat little grey-pigs hurling themselves off of their office towers already!¡±

    ¡°You might want to finalize those trades from out of town, Kor.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Korvulxxhaughed. ¡°I already have exactly who I want exactly where I want them.¡±

    ¡°That sounds ominous,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°Are you certain you have not turned into me?¡±

    ¡°I said I tried,¡± Korvulxxhaughed. ¡°I didn¡¯t say that I seeded.¡±

    ***

    Three hourster Jessica Morgan stepped in front of a camera with the banner of the Forsaken behind her.

    <em>We have stayed our hand¡­</em>

    Images of people ravaged by the gue started appearing.

    <em>We were the victim of a biological attack, and we stayed our hand...</em>

    An image of a young child now reduced to a mass of tumors and necrotic tissue appeared.

    <em>This¡­ this is what the gue does¡­</em>

    Jessica¡¯s careworn face became twisted with pain and grief.

    <em>And yet we still stayed our hand...</em>

    A timepsed graph showing the rates of contagion started to y.

    <em>The hate-filled and greedy abused their positions, and our trust, to increase the spread of this disease¡­ And we still have stayed our hand...</em>

    Images of the destruction of the Raylesh and Zaran expeditionary fleets yed.

    <em>Yes, we have fought. But we have done so only to protect ourselves and to wrest control of our systems from those who would see us all die...</em>

    Images of humans handing out medical supplies appeared.

    <em>We fought so that we could distribute necessary medical supplies to our people...</em>

    Images ofbat in the human enves yed.

    <em>We fought to protect our most vulnerable poptions and keep them safe and uninfected...</em>

    Images of wholesale destruction in the Capital yed.

    <em>And when the Federation, unable to engage us on the ground, brought in battleships to obliterate us from above, we fought to leave the enves that we wished to protect to spare them the destruction that was being inflicted elsewhere...</em>

    Images of bombardments and dead civilians started to y.

    <em>But through all of this¡­ Despite EVERYTHING that has been done to us¡­ we have stayed our hand¡­ We have fought cleanly. We have fought savagely to be sure. We have inflicted massive casualties¡­ But we have waged a war, a war we did not ask for, ording to the rules and customs of our people¡­ We stayed our hand...</em>

    Images of the orbital strikes on the nobatants in the capital yed.

    <em>And yet you still intentionally target our most innocent¡­ our most vulnerable¡­ These were unarmed civilians! You could not defeat our forces so you vent your impotent rage on our innocents¡­ Youmit crime after crime against us¡­ You wage genocide upon us¡­ And we have stayed our hand...</em>

    Jessica sighed and dropped her head. A few momentster she stared directly into the camera.

    <em>No longer¡­ We shall no longer stay our hand¡­ And we have in fact stayed our hand¡­ Unlike you we are a civilized people. There are things that we simply will not do...</em>

    <em>More precisely...</em>

    Jessica paused and looked at the camera gravely.

    <em>There are things that we are unwilling to do¡­</em>

    Pictures of guns, tanks, aircraft, and battleships appeared behind her.

    <em>Weapons are born of many things¡­ many emotions¡­ Love, believe it or not, is the mother of most. You want to protect your, your people¡­ your family¡­ You love them so weapons are developed to protect what you love¡­ Other weapons are born of fear and terror¡­ You want to force an enemy to submit or you want something so terrible that nobody will dare face it¡­ The fusion bombs that the Terrans wield are born of this¡­ Believe it or not they were first made with the fervent desire that they never be used¡­ And it worked¡­ for a time¡­</em>

    Jessica sighed sadly and she looked at the camera with a slightly horrified expression.

    <em>But one weapon was born of pure unadulterated hatred¡­ In the final days of the horror that is known as the Sol Wars, a very gifted scientist lost his entire family when their ship was destroyed in an attack. Driven insane by grief, loss, and rage, he made something¡­ something terrible¡­ something that I refused to use. Yes, even I have my limits¡­ Despite the loss and the death¡­ I simply refused to unleash that horror¡­ I couldn¡¯t¡­ I just couldn¡¯t¡­</em>

    Her eyes turned to ice.

    <em>I couldn¡¯t use it on a fellow human being¡­</em>

    A slideshow of gue victims and those killed from the orbital bombardments started to y.

    <em>That weapon? We call it ¡°The Elephant¡¯s Foot¡±¡­ For every pleasure there is a price¡­ You seem to derive a great deal of satisfaction from genocide and the murder of innocent civilians so I¡¯m sure you won¡¯t mind paying the bill. You like hitting us where it hurts so we shall do the same. We are going to hit you where it hurts you the most.</em>

    The slideshow stopped and just Jessica remained standing in front of the camera.

    <em>This is a war, one you started but one that we will fight. As I have said, we are a civilized people and we will use not only the Federation¡¯s rules of engagement but our own, a much higher standard¡­ unless you target our civilians¡­ What happens today will happen every time you do¡­ If you trample our innocents, we will ce a ¡°Foot¡± on yours.</em>

    Jessica smiled coldly at the camera.

    <em>We begged you to negotiate and you disregarded it¡­ We told you where our nobatants sheltered and you disregarded it¡­ And each time you have paid a terrible price¡­ So disregard what I say next at your peril. ¡°The Elephant¡¯s Foot¡± is the worst thing that has ever been created by the porkies but it is NOT the worst thing ever created by humanity. There is something worse, something far, far worse. You target our people on a¡¯s surface, and you will get ¡°The Foot¡±. If you EVER target one of our nobatant ¡°Homestead Ships¡± and I will unleash that final horror. I will cross that final line¡­ This is your only warning...</em>

    She leaned forward meaningfully.

    <em>I may not be able to protect my people but, by God, I can avenge them! Never target our civilians again.</em>

    The transmission ended.

    ***

    Cerux-5

    Cerux System

    Owner: The Vulxeen

    Status: Vulxeen Homeworld

    Industry: Misc, primarily financial, military, and government

    Location: Logkavux Cargo Depot

    Foreman Jakuveen paused to wipe the sweat from his face. It was a hot one. He smiled and waved at a passing grav-lifter.

    It had been a decent day thus far. Productivity was high even if everyone¡¯s eyes were glued to a plethora of tablets, phones, and the like. It was against regtions but considering what was going on across the Federation, something to which he was turning a blind eye.

    Besides, he wanted to know what was going on too! The humans were on the fucking warpath!

    He really couldn¡¯t me them. He would like to think he would do the same.

    He received a text and pulled out his own forbidden personal phone. One of his lifter operators just sent a live link to an address by Jessica Morgan.

    He frowned as he watched it. He absolutely could not believe that the Federation would stoop to firing on innocent civilians like that!

    His outrage was tempered by concern, a lot of it. Jessica Morgan said that she would be retaliating and the ¡°regard¡± with which they held the Vulxeen (and vice-versa) was no secret.

    If she was going to strike civilian targets¡­

    Suddenly amotion could be heard. He looked over and his jaw dropped as dozens of shipping modules started floating above one of the cargo yards.

    He shouted in pain as he was assaulted by sonic boom after sonic boom as the railroad box-car sized containers shot off in all directions.

    ***

    At Camp Star-Rise, thergest military training facility in the Federation, Drill Sergeant Klik shouted derisively at his troops as they trained.

    Inwardly, however, he was pleased. The little guys and girls were doing quite well.

    ¡°What is it, moron?¡± he snapped as one of the recruits raised her hand. It was Tuvellen, a very promising young woman. She was doing very well, almost too well.

    He was starting to wonder what she was doing ¡°down here¡± with the rest of them.

    ¡°Excuse me, Drill-¡±

    <strong>BOOM</strong>¡­ <strong>BOOM</strong>¡­ <strong>BOOM</strong>¡­

    The Drill Sergeant stood there stunned by the loud sts of sound. Suddenly there were these giant¡­ things¡­ floating above them.

    What were those.

    <em>Something bad!!!</em> his instincts screamed.

    ¡°Everybody follow me!¡± he yelled. ¡°¡­ Run!¡± he eximed as he started sprinting towards a nearby building.

    ***

    The ¡°Elephant¡¯s Foot¡± was a surprisingly simple device.

    Inside each of those shipping containers was something that superficially resembled an ancient fission reactor. There were hundreds of columns of enriched uranium fuel pellets surrounded by control rods.

    However, these reactors weren¡¯t designed to produce power¡­

    They were designed to produce only one thing, <em>heat.</em>

    As the containers descended to their ideal altitude, an ancient-tech solenoid next to each control rod was energized releasing a catch on a powerful spring whichunched its control rod out of the top of the device.

    The Elephant¡¯s Foot instantly went supercritical and without any provision for cooling the reactor started to melt down immediately, the splitting uranium flowing out of the rods and mixing with an iron-rich ¡°sand¡±posed of a specially tailored mix of elements designed to generate the absolute worst nuclear waste possible.

    The nightmarish concoction started to quickly melt its way towards the bottom of the device only stopping when it reached a containment field, not unlike the ones that contained the fusing deuterium in a normal fusion reactor¡­

    And just like that field the one around the wad of splitting uranium absorbed the energy of the neutrons flying from the tiny Chernobyl swirling inside the container and then gently directed the now thermal neutrons back into the mix, further ¡°powering¡± the reaction.

    And the inside became hotter and hotter and generated more and more pressure as the uranium continued to split and the neutrons continued to be absorbed by the molten hell-sand¡­

    Until finally, the pressure became more than the field could withstand¡­

    The container ruptured unleashing a torrent of an unholy mix of fissioning uranium, decay daughters, and a gout of the pure hell that the ¡°sand¡± had be across the ground below, some impossibly radioactive fragmentsnding miles from the device but most of it nketing the area beneath it in a white-hot radioactive hell that turned the very soil and stones beneath it into ss as it continued to ¡°burn¡±.

    ***

    Drill Sergeant Klik breathed a sigh of relief as he got thest of his recruits inside. He looked out over the training field in horror as it burned so brightly it looked like he was staring directly into the sun.

    They had almost been killed!

    ¡°Is everyone ok?¡± he yelled.

    ¡°Drill Sergeant,¡± one of his recruits said as they raised their hand, ¡°I don¡¯t feel so good...¡±

    ***

    Across the, Elephant¡¯s Foot after Elephant¡¯s Foot ¡°fell¡±, striking the headquarters of Vulx-Prime bank, thergest financial institution in the Federation, the Vulxeen Stock Exchange, The Vulxeen Parliament building, and some of the most influential financial districts and data centers in the entire Federation.

    Some of the Elephant¡¯s Feet didn¡¯t simply burst but instead projected a fire-hose like jet of the material as the contents were funneled into the ultra-high temperature conductive ceramic chamber of a specially designed gauss weapon.

    These supersonic jets of nuclear hell-fire punched deep into buildings, flooding the insides with white-hot death, forever ruining the site, the wreckage too radioactive to touch.

    Vulxeen screamed and ran trying to pick their way through the burning wastnd that was once some of the richest areas in the entire Federation only to stumble and fall once they thought they were safe.

    Over the next hour the true horror of what befell them became apparent. Mobs of desperate Vulxeen took to the streets desperate to flee the stricken cities only further adding to the chaos as they plunged whole regions into gridlock, people ultimately fleeing their hopelessly stuck vehicles to try to run on foot.

    Others took advantage of the chaos to engage in one of civilization¡¯s favorite pastimes, looting.

    Korvulxxha, rxing in the safety of her limo well away from the city, watched the news with a smile. You had to hand it to Jessica, that bitch had <em>style</em>!

    She started eagerly reading the message boards of her ¡°dear friends¡± in the financialmunity. She didn¡¯t dare call them. She wasn¡¯t sure if she could contain her shit-eating grin.

    Creators, she hated them! She hated them all!

    The only thing better than watching the financial district burn was the knowledge of all of the hundreds of billions of credits she was going to make out of the deal!

    Suddenly, ess to the hyperspacework ceased. She quickly tried to ess the tradingwork.

    Awesome! It was down too! They just knocked out The Clock and with it, the entire interster tradework!

    Oh the money they were about to make! By the time everything is restored the entire market will be in free-fall!

    They were going to make <em>billions</em>... <em>hundreds of billions</em>...!

    She sighed happily.

    Nobody waged business like Jessica¡­ Nobody¡­

 Chapter The Fallout Settles Part One

    Chapter The Fallout Settles Part One

    Lieutenant Porcht, themunications officer of the <em>Ascension</em> gasped in horror.

    ¡°Captain!¡± she eximed, ¡°Intelligence from the surface indicates that thest series of targets we received werepletely civilian in nature!

    Captain Loqurir clenched his jaws in anger. He knew it. He knew that this would happen! He had hoped that he would be wrong, but he wasn¡¯t.

    ¡°Estimated civilian casualties?¡± he asked trying to keep his voice even and professional.

    ¡°It is currently unclear, but it is easily in the tens of thousands, sir.¡±

    Complete silence fell over the bridge as the entire crew looked at the captain.

    After a few moments, the captain climbed down from the top of themand chair and scuttled over to the mic mounted in one of the arms.

    ¡°Connect me to the 1MC,¡± the captain said calmly.

    ¡°You are connected, Captain!¡± the lieutenant replied.

    The captain¡¯s squeaky butmanding voice echoed through the entire ship.

    <em>Crew of the Ascension, we received a series of targets from Federation Command and, having faith in the uracy and legality of our orders, we engaged those targets. Unfortunately, our faith was¡­ misced¡­ The targets that we were assigned werepletely civilian in nature. Under direct orders from Federation Command we opened fire upon thousands of unarmed Federation civilians...</em>

    <em>While the full extent of the damage has not yet been determined, the number of civilians that we have killed is easily in the tens of thousands...</em>

    <em>During times of war, orders can be falsified or a chain ofmand can bepromised or otherwise suspect. Article 87 of the Federation Naval Code states that should amander of a vessel believe that his orders or his chain ofmand have be suspect, they can detach themselves and their ship and act solely under their own authority until such a time as confidence can be restored.</em>

    <em>I am now invoking article 87. I will not allow our guns nor the guns of any other vessel in this system to be used to ughter innocent Federation civilians! While I do believe that the orders did in facte from our superiors, I deem them and the officers that issued them to be the very definition of ¡°suspect¡±.</em>

    <em>Any consequences for this will fall upon me and me alone. I pray that there will not be a confrontation with another Federation vessel but should that ur we will protect ourselves, and more importantly, we will protect the citizens of the Federation!</em>

    <em>I understand if someone does not wish to fight our brothers and sisters. If anyone feels that they cannot stand with me and with this ship report to cargo bay six. You will not experience any reprisals for your decision.</em>

    <em>The citizens of the Federation, regardless of species, are ours to protect! We shall not fail them!</em>

    <em>That will be all.</em>

    He then turned back to hismunications officer.

    ¡°Lieutenant, prepare to send a message to every ship, every government office, and on every public hyperspatial harmonic and gravitic frequency.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain!¡±

    ***

    The Admiral of the Navy sat in his chair, clutching his legs miserably as the other g officers in his office silently stared at him.

    He fucked up.

    He fucked up, <em>bad</em>.

    It made so much sense at the time¡­ The humans¡­ They <em>had</em> to be massing another force¡­

    They just had to be¡­

    Why wouldn¡¯t anyone understand? If that had been another human force we would have been done for!

    But it wasn¡¯t¡­

    He had been wrong¡­ but there hadn¡¯t been <em>time</em>! If he had taken the time to fully investigate everything, they would have had time to strike!

    And the capital would have been lost¡­ If they had been fighters...

    If they had been fighters, he would have been a hero¡­ He would have saved the capital¡­

    But they weren¡¯t and he was a murderer¡­ a mass murderer¡­ and he just plunged the capital even deeper into chaos.

    And it wasn¡¯t just those fucking evil humans down there! They had somehow tricked representatives of a dozen different species into entering those strike zones¡­

    As a result, what was originally just a human problem was now city-wide¡­

    Federation wide¡­

    The police abandoned the barricades and humans were fleeing throughout the entire city with many enves weing them (and their weapons) with open arms!

    Terran AK¡¯s, now in the hands of dozens of species, were <em>everywhere</em> and enve after enve had ¡°rebelled¡± driving out the police and any Federation presence that might have been there, openly defying the city and the Federation itself!

    It was a nightmare!

    <em>Oh by the Creators,</em> he thought as he tried to keep himself from throwing-up, <em>I was right¡­ It WAS a trick¡­ This was PLANNED!¡­</em>

    Jessica Morgan set this whole thing up!¡­ All of it!¡­

    All of it¡­

    <em>He had been yed!</em>¡­

    Once again, the humans gamed them. Once again they¡­

    They did the <em>unthinkable</em>¡­ Tens of thousands <em>of their own people</em>!!!

    He wanted to cry. They set up thousands of their own innocent civilians to be ughtered¡­

    <em>And it worked!</em>

    Her ¡°retaliation¡± was <em>already in ce</em>! The targets, Vulxeen targets, were already selected! Unspeakable crimes already callously premeditated, just waiting...

    She was just waiting for them to¡­ No¡­ for <em>him</em> to¡­ <em>Oh Creators! I think I¡¯m going to be sick!</em>¡­

    ¡°I..¡± he said in a quiet, utterly defeated voice, ¡°As instructed by the Prime Minister and the Minister of Defense, I am stepping down, resigning mymission, and remanding myself into custody¡­ Admiral Vii...¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir?¡± she replied gravely.

    ¡°You have been named my recement¡­ I¡¯m truly sorry, Vii¡­¡±

    ¡°Looking forward to it...¡± she said sadly.

    ¡°I hope¡­ I hope you do better¡­ These¡­ humans¡­ we thought we fought them before but¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Admiral Vii said quietly.

    ¡°They don¡¯t¡­ They don¡¯t fight like we fight,¡± The disgraced admiral said with a quivering voice, ¡°They don¡¯t think like we think¡­ Please¡­ Please don¡¯t let them win, Vii!¡­ Please!¡­ They can¡¯t¡­ They can¡¯t...¡±

    The tired old Vulxeen, unable to hold out any longer, broke down into tears.

    More than one of the admirals in the room wanted to join him.

    They didn¡¯t know what the future held but one thing they all knew with every fiber of their being.

    It was going to suck.

    ***

    The former admiral, now just in his shirt-sleeves, walked towards the front door.

    ¡°Admiral!¡± the desk sergeant eximed as he lept to his feet.

    ¡°Not anymore,¡± the old Vulxeen said sadly as he continued to walk towards the exit. ¡°Not anymore...¡±

    ¡°Sir, please wait a moment and I will get an APC.¡±

    ¡°No, Sergeant...¡± the Vulxeen replied. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful out¡­ I¡­ I think I will walk...¡±

    ¡°Sir?!?¡± the sergeant eximed in terror as the broken Vulxeen opened the door and walked away.

    Outside, the old Vulxeen looked up at the clear blue sky above. He used to love the sky. When had he stopped noticing it?

    It was beautiful¡­

    Until he noticed the smoke rising up into it¡­

    So much smoke¡­

    Unable to stop himself, he looked over towards the ruins of Porkie Town¡­

    So much smoke¡­

    Sighing sadly he uttered a quiet prayer and slowly started walking towards the Federation Parliament building where he would turn himself in.

    It wasn¡¯t long before his prayer was answered with a distinctive¡­

    <strong>POP</strong>

    ***

    Bex System

    Keren Station

    Human Poption: 312

    Primary upation: Ship Repair and Refit, Trading

    Primary Product: Misc

    ¡°Commander!¡± a frantic Bex eximed as they iled at their station, ¡°Four ships have entered the system! Oh Creators! They are <em>human</em>! One of them is <em>huge</em>!¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Sheen,¡± themander replied, grooming the stiff fur of his face.

    He curled his proboscis into a tight coil and mped his winglets tightly against his back. So, the humans hade. He looked at the neers. There were three small general purpose ships and one huge freighter.

    His slender tongue flicked out of the end of his proboscis thoughtfully.

    ¡°Oh Creators!¡± another Bex wailed, ¡°What are we going to do?¡±

    ¡°Our jobs,¡± themander replied calmly. ¡°You, inform the SDF that we have visitors¡­ and tell the Federation to keep their distance.¡±

    ¡°Commander?¡±

    ¡°I can only deal with one dangerous group of murderers at a time, Sheen.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Commander.¡±

    ¡°Put me through to our visitors,¡± themander said as he adjusted his robes.

    ¡°Greetings and wee to Bex space,¡± themander said to the screen.

    A withered human face appeared.

    <em>An old one,</em> themander thought as his wings flicked. <em>Probably one of the ¡°OG¡± as they call them.</em>

    ¡°Hello,¡± the human said with one of their disgusting fangden smiles. <em>It had metal teeth!</em>

    ¡°You aren¡¯t on the schedule of expected arrivals,¡± themander said calmly. ¡°Are you experiencing an emergency? Do you require assistance?¡±

    ¡°Nah. We¡¯re good.¡±

    ¡°Then, how may the mighty Bex brighten your day?¡± themander said with a little flick of his tongue.

    ¡°I am Captain Vasquez of the Forsaken Homestead Ship <em>Voidhome</em>. We are a nonbatant settlement ship and we havee for our people.¡±

    ¡°I am not sure if we have any of ¡®your people¡¯ here but we certainly won¡¯t interfere with anyone who <em>willingly</em> wishes to board. We-¡±

    Themander was cut short by the appearance of two Federation cruisers.

    ¡°Abyss, Horrx!¡± themander yelled. ¡°I told you wads to stay away!¡±

    ¡°This is Federation space!¡± a leathery creature in a captain¡¯s uniform shouted as he appeared. ¡°And we are here to apprehend these dangerous insurgents!¡±

    ¡°Bhplptblblbttth!¡± themander blew a loud razzberry through his proboscis, extending it like a party noise maker. ¡°Two cruisers against four human freighters. Normally a remark about you bravely charging into certain death against an overwhelming foe would be sarcastic but considering everything, Horrx, you are either impossibly brave or excruciatingly stupid.¡±

    ¡°Mind your ce, <em>Commander</em>,¡± the Federation captain snapped.

    ¡°And you mind yours, <em>Captain</em>. This is a system matter and does not concern you. Now please be quiet. Grown-ups are talking.¡±

    ¡°Human vessels!¡± the captain shouted. ¡°This is Captain Horrx of the Federation Star Ship <em>Forbearance</em>! You are hereby ordered to power down and prepare to be boarded.¡±

    ¡°Oh we are already prepared, chuckles,¡± the human smiled. ¡°We are a nonbatant vessel but we <em>will</em> protect ourselves if we must.¡±

    ¡°For the record,¡± themander said calmly, ¡°This action is being undertaken by the Federation, not the Bex. We are NOT engaging a nonbatant homestead ship. The captain¡¯s species and home system information is now being transmitted. Please direct whatever is worse than what you used on the Vulxeen there.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, flutters!¡± the human captain replied.

    ¡°Wait just a moment!¡± the Federation captain spluttered, his eyes bulging in rm.

    ¡°Transmitting that information now,¡± the human said cheerfully as a hyperspace transmission was detected.

    ¡°This is Admiral Sparkle of the Bex SDF!¡± an angry voice announced as a dozen small patrol craft appeared between the Federation and the humans. ¡°There WILL NOT be a space battle between the Federation and a nonbatant refugee vessel in BEX space! If these people want to take asylum seekers on board and IF there are humans here that wish to go then that¡¯s exactly what is going to happen!¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t ¡®gathering refugees¡¯! They are recruiting soldiers!¡± the Federation captain shouted. ¡°And you will be aiding the enemy if you allow it!¡±

    ¡°We arefortable with that,¡± the admiral replied. ¡°<em>Voidhome</em>, you are free to operate in the Bex system. All SDF vessels, as long as the humans act without aggression, protect them from <em>any</em> attackers. Captain Horrx, the Federation is no longer wee in Bex space. Please leave the system immediately.¡±

    ¡°YOU CAN¡¯T DO THIS!!!¡±

    ¡°You have three choices,¡± the admiral replied. ¡°You can either leave, you can fight both the humans AND us, or you can just sit there and scream impotently into your transmitter while we and the humans conduct our affairs.¡±

    The captain chose the third option.

    ***

    ¡°I just wanted to let you know that your creation performed marvelously!¡± Jessica Morgan said to an elderly olive-skinned man on one of her antique OLED screens.

    ¡°I wish I could say that I was happy about that,¡± the old man said sadly. ¡°I was¡­ insane¡­ when I created that horror.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but insanity is exactly what the situation requires, doctor.¡± Jessica replied. ¡°What was born of your anguish and madness will protect the lives of millions of innocents, doctor, just as what you now create will do.¡±

    ¡°Please spare me theid justifications,¡± the old man said wearily. ¡°I ept what I did and what I¡¯ve be. You needn¡¯t worry. My efforts will not be diminished by the horrors that my creations have wrought.¡±

    ¡°Splendid,¡± Jessica said with a cold gleam in her eye. ¡°How is ¡®the project¡¯ing along?¡±

    ¡°Quite well,¡± the old scientist replied. ¡°While we were never able to find the actual research and design information in either our archives or on Terra it was ultimately unnecessary.¡±

    ¡°We never were able to find out more about ¡®Project Pluto¡¯?¡±

    ¡°No, ma¡¯am,¡± the scientist replied. ¡°However the concept is simple enough. The old YouTube videos were more than sufficient to get us started. An air-cooled nuclear reactor is easily within our capacities. In fact, I think you will find our version to be quite eptable. It shall be much more horrific than the original, by several orders of magnitude.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I like to hear, doctor!¡±

    ¡°The first prototype should be ready for testing by the end of the week. We should be able to start production almost immediately thereafter.¡±

    ¡°Splendid!¡± Jessica enthused. ¡°And that other little side project?¡±

    The doctor smiled grimly and his image was reced by a video of a thermonuclear detonation in space.

    ¡°As you can see, we achieved a very eptable yield,¡± the doctor said as the explosion was reced by data, ¡°our device isn¡¯t aspact or efficient as the Terrans but it quite satisfactory. We should be able to rival their devices eventually.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to just copy the Terrans,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I want our own weapons and our own technology.¡±

    ¡°Well there are only so many ways to make a fusion explosion, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s why I want you directing your efforts elsewhere, doctor. Now that you have gotten the ball rolling, there are many who can fine tune nukes. I want you to focus on the SLAM and on further applications of The Elephant¡¯s Foot.¡±

    ¡°<em>Further applications?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°I think there is a lot of potential for The Foot and simr devices. A nuke can tten the countryside but The Foot can <em>ruin it</em>! That is what we want!¡±

    ¡°I beg you to reconsider, ma¡¯am. That¡­ <em>thing</em> is-¡±

    ¡°Pure unadulterated horror,¡± Jessica saidpleting his sentence. ¡°The Federation has the delightfulbination of both being timid and being unused to being afraid. Nuclear explosions will gut ships. Fear will gut the Federation!¡±

    ¡°But you said that we would only use it if-¡±

    ¡°I say a lot of things," Jessica smirked.

    "Yes," the doctor winced, "of that I am painfully aware."

    ¡°I want bigger Feet. I want better Feet. And, most importantly, I want more of them, a lot more. I am particrly intrigued by the ones that project jets of the material. Do you think you can make them pierce Federation warship shields?¡±

    ¡°Goddamn you...¡±

    ¡°So, a yes then?¡±

    ¡°Yes. It shouldn¡¯t be that much of a problem. In fact¡­ Oh by the void...¡± the doctor said as he trailed off in horror.

    ¡°Well that sounds promising!¡±

    ***

    Doctor Ayyangar sighed sadly as the holo-monitor went dark.

    He reached for a bottle of Johnson¡¯s Blue (¡°renatured to perfection¡±) and poured himself a ¡°healthy¡± portion of the cyan liquid.

    He coughed as he mmed it back. He was grateful that Johnson¡¯s Spirits still made the ssic, one ¡°horror¡± to wash down another.

    He pulled out a small holo-viewer and smiled sadly at the pretty young girl in traditional garb hovering in front of him.

    ¡°I am so sorry, Diya,¡± he said as he poured another shot.

    ¡°I am so very, very sorry.¡±

 Chapter The Fallout Settles Part Two â€” Jessica

    Chapter The Fallout Settles Part Two ¡ª Jessica

    Jessica made an amused little snort as Doctor Ayyangar¡¯s image disappeared and shook her head.

    She found the mustache-twirling tiresome but sometimes people needed a monster. In this particr case, the doctor needed someone to be a bigger monster than he was. She had learned long ago that as long as he was cursing her name he wouldn¡¯t curse his own quite as much.

    <em>The greatest scientific mind in centuries and you¡¯re making him create nightmares¡­ Weren¡¯t you supposed to ¡°preserve¡± him? Wasn¡¯t that the n?</em>

    Yes, the good doctor was one of ¡°her people¡±, one of those carefully selected to rebuild Sol, he was first among the scientists and academics that she cherry-picked and tucked ever so gently into one of her ¡°special¡± habitation ships.

    She winced as she thought of the <em>Gardenhome</em>. Even after all these years the tragic loss of that ship stung. So many great minds just¡­ gone¡­

    She, without thinking, pulled open the upper left hand drawer of her office-desk, unconsciously reaching for the ¡°supplies¡± that normally upied that ce of honor.

    ¡°Tsk...¡± she muttered as she looked down at the empty spot where a sk and a small crystal box of white powder used to reside.

    There was no easy fix today, no quick distraction¡­

    Their faces and names floated past. Gifted scientists, schrs, artists¡­ people who can never be reced. People like to say that all lives are of equal value but that¡¯s bullshit. Some people are a dime-a-dozen and others¡­

    Others are fucking <em>priceless</em>¡­

    Six hundred of those lives were lost that day¡­ Six hundred of the brightest lights the human race had just went <em>poof</em>¡­

    And Doctor Ayyangar was among them¡­ He just wasn¡¯t given the mercy of death. No, he got to live¡­

    She still remembered the day he brought her The Foot, his eyes zed, his face twisted with hate and pain¡­ His innocence gone...

    Goddammit¡­ She had promised him¡­ She had promised him that his family would be safe¡­ <em>She had promised all of them...</em>

    God, she wanted a fucking drink¡­ Just to a sip¡­ Just to take the edge off¡­

    <em>The fate of the entire Porkie race rests in the hands of a coked-out alcoholic¡­ Just wonderful...</em>

    She needed a break. Outside her bunker wasn¡¯t exactly a garden, but the woods were lovely and there was a pond nearby with some absolutely lovely specimens of native flora.

    It wouldn¡¯t be that much longer before there would be nothing outside but the fucking void. She should go look at the weird little jelly nts.

    She threw on her jacket and strode for the door.

    ***

    Just outside of the city of Pol-Gelkrn on Zaran-7 a crowd started to gather around a wide field.

    In the middle of the field was a single egg and a small camera.

    Soon, a distant rumbling could be heard and the crowd pulled out their phones.

    The rumbling grew in intensity, as something came into view high above.

    The rumbling turned into roaring as the object drew closer growing everrger with each passing moment.

    The crowd started to cheer as the ground beneath them started to shake as a huge spaceship came screaming down, it¡¯s shields glowing from the heat of re-entry.

    At the helm, Gwen Shay grinned as the picture of the egg appeared on one of her screens. The grin was soon reced with a blissful smile as her entire universe shrank to the size of that field.

    Watching half a dozen screens at once, she switched to manual control.

    ¡°One-hundred meters...¡± the girl who usually manned the helm announced. ¡°¡­Fifty meters¡­ ¡°

    Gwen¡¯s universe shrank down to the size of an egg.

    ¡°¡­ Twenty meters...¡±

    Her hands turning into blurs, Gwen made dozens of adjustments almost at once.

    ¡°Ten meters¡­ ¡±

    The crowd was sted by nearly gale-force winds as Gwen fired all theteral thrusters simultaneously and sloooowly eased down on the deflector screen.

    ¡°Shields loaded at fifty percent¡­.¡±

    ¡°Sixty percent¡­¡±

    Thending spurs of the vessel started to slowly dig into the ground below as Gwen started to reduce power to the lower deflector array.

    A grinding vibration could be felt throughout the massive vessel as it pressed itself into the soil.

    The image of the egg became shrouded in darkness¡­

    The camera¡¯s light switched on.

    The egg was intact¡­

    And the crowd went wild.

    Gwen let out a shuddering sigh¡­

    <em>Oh yeah¡­</em>

    ***

    As the main cargo hatch lowered Gwen stepped out and waved cheerfully at the cheering crowd.

    ¡°Wooooooo!¡± she yelled, grinning from ear to ear. ¡°Wooooooooo!¡­ You about some crazy fuckers!¡± she added when she noticed exactly how close some of the spectators were standing.

    A line of vehicles started to roll into the cargo bay, all of them bearing ck Angels markings. They parked in a precise manner and the upants all lept out and rapidly started to break down the rigging holding all of the parcels in ce.

    Experienced smugglers don¡¯t waste any time. In moments the vehicles were being loaded and were soon pulling out at high speed only to be reced secondster.

    A wicked looking woman in herte forties, armed with a megaphone and a stopwatch, approached.

    ¡°Goddamn,¡± she said shaking her head. ¡°Just¡­ Goddamn...¡±

    Gwen just grinned at her.

    ¡°Where the fuck where they hiding you?¡±

    ¡°In motherfucking high school,¡± Gwen said rolling her eyes. ¡°I had to ¡®prepare for my future¡¯.¡± she added in a sneering voice.

    ¡°You¡¯re kidding, right?¡±

    ¡°I wish!¡±

    ¡°You can m a ss Sixteen on thewn in less than an hour already! What sort of ¡®future¡¯ is better than that?¡±

    ¡°ording to my mom? Anything,¡± Gwenughed. ¡°They didn¡¯t want me on spaceships.¡±

    ¡°Why?!? You¡¯re...¡±

    ¡°Oh because of the ¡®ident¡¯...¡± Gwen said rolling her eyes. ¡°Mom totally lost her shit and made me go to dirt school after that.¡±

    ¡°ident?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Gwen said nonchntly, ¡°When I was nine I-¡±

    ¡°Holy shit!¡± the gangster gasped. ¡°That was you?!? I heard that it happened to a kid but I had no idea it happened to a Shay!¡±

    ¡°Gram-gram wanted to keep it quiet,¡± Gwen replied. ¡°This <em>never</em> happened!¡± she growled in a perfect recreation of her great-grandmother¡¯s angry voice. ¡°No idea why. It¡¯s not like it was a big deal...¡±

    The gangster looked at her dubiously. It was in fact a big deal. It was a really fucking big deal. Holy fucking shit!

    If half of what she had heard was true¡­ <em>Jesus Christ!</em>

    ¡°So, you¡¯re ok?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m more than ok!¡± Gwen said happily as she spun around. ¡°I¡¯m finally free of this fucking gravity well! Escape velocity, baby! Wooooooo!¡±

    ¡°Oooookayyy then...¡± the gangster said as evenly as she could. For just a second there was something in Gwen¡¯s eyes, something <em>definitely</em> not right.

    It took a lot to rattle Kareen. She had been rolling with the Angels for most of her life and had seen and done some shit, but that little sh in Gwen¡¯s eyes chilled her to the bone.

    ¡°Well¡­ I just wanted to say hi and congratte you on your pilotin¡¯,¡± Kareen said as nonchntly as she could. ¡°I gotta go and get this cargo moved.¡±

    ¡°Nice meeting you!¡± Gwen enthused as she extended her hand. ¡°Looking forward to working with you out there!¡±

    Kareen tried not to flinch as she shook her hand. She really didn¡¯t buy into a lot of that spacer¡¯s nonsense but there were some things that you just did not fuck with!

    That kid should have been tossed out of an airlock. If it had been any other kid she would have!

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be looking for ya,¡± Kareen replied with as pleasant of a smile as she could manage.

    ***

    Back on Raylesh, Jessica started making he way back to the buried ship she was using as her base.

    As she was walking down the path something moved overhead.

    Reaching for her sidearm she nced upward and just smiled and shook her head.

    A garish bright purple luxury grav-car with LED light bars and airbrushed furries in suggestive poses on the sides and hoodnded.

    The door popped open and a thin old man, dressed in a crushed velvet leisure suitplete with satin shirt and big gold medallion and jeweled sunsses hopped out.

    ¡°Oneeeeeeeee Chaaaaannnnn!¡± he yelled as he saw her.

    Sheughed despite herself.

    ¡°Gordon!¡± she called back with a big smile. ¡°You do realize that this is a top-secret facility¡­ and that we are at war, right?¡±

    ¡°Of course!¡± Gordon Johnson, founder of Johnson¡¯s spirits replied as he gestured at his leopard print leisure suit. ¡°See? Cammo!¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ¡­¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°Get your ass inside before I have you shot.¡±

    ***

    As Gordon and Jessica entered her office Gordon turned to confront her.

    ¡°I¡¯ve tolerated and overlooked so many things, Jessica,¡± he said in a stern voice. ¡°I really have, telling myself it was all for the greater good... But you¡¯ve gone too far this time!¡­ <em>You stopped drinking?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°And what¡¯s this I¡¯m hearing about you, Gordon? <em>Quality products?</em> Have you gone mad?¡± Jessicaughed as they hugged.

    ¡°People are going to need something to wash down the days ahead,¡± Gordon smiled, ¡°and too many of the damn kids these days can¡¯t appreciate good hooch.¡±

    ¡°Well promise me you will keep making the Green,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°If I fall off of the wagon I want to be appropriately punished.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m keeping the whole product line!¡± Gordon eximed proudly. ¡°I still have the <em>Rumrunner</em>!¡±

    ¡°That old tub actually still flies? I thought you turned it into a restaurant.¡±

    ¡°A restaurant <em>and</em> distillery!¡± Gordon replied proudly. ¡°I was going to dmission it but in the end I just couldn¡¯t bring myself to do it. All I had to do was rip out the tables! Even the ¡®kitchen¡¯ is original! The <em>Rumrunner</em> will be lifting off today! I just dropped by take onest peek at that fine ass of yours before I headed out.¡±

    Jessica gave him a little wiggle as Gordon gasped and clutched at his heart.

    ¡°Damn, girl! Don¡¯t be doing that to an old man!¡±

    ¡°If only it was that easy to get rid of you,¡± sheughed. ¡°So, you have the <em>Rumrunner</em>. How is the rest of your operation looking?¡±

    ¡°Good. We are ripping-up what we can and loading those ships you sent down with anything that we can shove into them. It¡¯s a mess but my guys should have production lines running within days. The <em>Rumrunner</em> will be at full capacity <em>tonight</em> so we can give you limited quantities of whatever you need from lubricants to paint to stic explosives¡­ and of course the highest quality ¡®solvents¡¯ in the gxy!¡±

    ¡°You are a freak but damned if you aren¡¯t an amazing one!¡± Jessicaughed.

    ¡°Speaking of amazing,¡± Gordon grinned as he pulled out clear stic bag filled with appeared to be a wad of soap. ¡°Three thousand calories of shelf-stable nutritionallyplete goodness!¡±

    ¡°Well that didn¡¯t take you long!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like I was working from zero,¡± Gordon replied. ¡°It¡¯s just a riff on Jovian Rice.¡±

    ¡°And it doesn¡¯t taste like shit!¡± Jessica said happily as she sampled it. ¡°You are going to absolutely ruin your reputation, Gordon! How¡¯s the price point?¡±

    ¡°Not good,¡± Gordon replied. ¡°The raw material costs are much higher in the Federation on a good day and getting a reliable source at a high enough volume is going to be a constant challenge. It¡¯s gonna be cheaper to just buy regr food but this stuff will keep forever and is nice andpact.¡±

    ¡°Real food is better for morale, too,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I still want to build stocks of this, though. I think we all know more food is better than less.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to remind me!¡± Gordonughed.

    ¡°If only we had a gas-miner...¡± Jessica mused.

    Gordon grinned at her.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Funny you should mention that...¡±

    ¡°Are. You. Shitting. Me?!?¡±

    ¡°Remember Aimee?¡±

    ¡°Your traitorous ex-girlfriend Aimee? The Aimee who <em>tried to kill you</em>?¡± Jessica asked darkly, her enthusiasm gone.

    ¡°That would be the one!¡±

    ¡°Please tell me that you haven¡¯t-¡±

    ¡°Well, we¡¯ve sorta kept in touch and-¡±

    ¡°Kept in touch?¡± Jessica asked raising her eyebrow.

    Gordon grinned sheepishly.

    ¡°Goddammit...¡± Jessica groaned, ¡°Seriously?!?¡±

    ¡°Well they say time heals all wounds...¡±

    ¡°Including ones made by a knife it seems,¡± Jessica replied as she rolled her eyes. ¡°¡­ moron...¡±

    ¡°Well, as it turns out after the dust settled she wound up going back into chemical engineering and set herself up-¡±

    ¡°With the shit she stole from us!¡± Jessica interjected. ¡°If she wasn¡¯t so fucking slippery I would have killed her a long time ago!¡±

    ¡°Well be d you didn¡¯t!¡± Gordon eximed happily. ¡°She has herself a gas miner! She runs a little wildcat outfit specializing in custom organicpounds and does first-rate chemical synthesis to boot!¡±

    ¡°And?¡± Jessica asked dubiously.

    ¡°And she wants toe home!¡± Gordon eximed. ¡°A fucking hyperspace capable gas miner, Jessica!¡±

    ¡°And she wants to join <em>us</em>? <em>Now</em>?¡±

    ¡°She has a lot of family over here, Jessica,¡± Gordon replied. ¡°She wants to help.¡±

    ¡°And?¡± Jessica asked suspiciously.

    ¡°And with everything going on over there, she has concerns. Terran nationalism has been on the rise and now with Patricia and her cronies making a y for the Republic...¡±

    ¡°There it is,¡± Jessica hissed. ¡°There it fucking is! Aimee concerned about her ¡®family¡¯? Nah. Aimee seeing the writing on the wall and wanting to switch sides, exactly like she did on us back in the day? Now <em>that¡¯s</em> Aimee.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but gas-miner!¡±

    ¡°She tried to kill you... <em>twice!</em>¡±

    ¡°Gas-miner!¡±

    ¡°She framed you for the chemical weapons that <em>she</em> produced! You know, the ones you absolutely refused to make? You had to hide in a supply locker for six months! Do you remember?¡±

    ¡°Gas¡­ miner!¡±

    ¡°But-¡±

    Gordon leaned in and whispered, ¡°gasminer!¡±

    ¡°Absolutely not! If you want to stick your dick in that particr puddle of crazy you are just going to have to run the Republic blockade.¡±

    ¡°Do you have any idea how many mega-tons of organics and fuel she can produce?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure it won¡¯t be for free,¡± Jessica grumbled.

    ¡°She¡¯s willing to provide raw materials at a very reasonable rate!¡±

    ¡°Goddammit, Gordon! Tell me you didn¡¯t enter into negotiations without consulting me!¡±

    ¡°I got her to agree to forty-two percent of Federation market rate!¡±

    ¡°Which is how many times more than she gets in the Republic?¡±

    ¡°Look, do you want that fuel and those organics or not? I¡¯ve reviewed her production records¡­ Holy shit, Jessica!¡± Gordon eximed as he pulled out his phone and offered it to her. ¡°We can feed everyone!¡±

    ¡°Goddamn it...¡± Jessica muttered and looked at the spreadsheet.

    Her eyes widened.

    ¡°(sigh)¡­ What¡¯s her number?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Gordon eximed.

    ¡°What is it with you and maniptive narcissists?¡± she grumbled.

    Gordon looked her up and down with an exaggeratedscivious leer.

    ¡°What can I say? I have a type!¡±

    Jessica justughed and shook her head.

    ¡°Asshole...¡±, she chuckled. ¡°<em>IF</em> I do this, she¡¯s off limits! I fucking mean it!¡±

    ¡°Aww..¡±

    ¡°The LAST thing I need is her getting her hooks into you again. You get within a light year of her and the deal¡¯s off¡­ But¡­ I think you won¡¯t mind...¡± she purred as she started to unbutton his satin shirt.

    ***

    Terrence walked towards Jessica¡¯s office with a fresh pot of tea. He was more than a little concerned. Jessica was really struggling with her sobriety and Gordon Johnson wasn¡¯t exactly a paragon of temperance.

    He raised his hand to knock.

    ¡°Oh!¡­ Onee Chan!...¡±

    His hand froze.

    ¡°Are¡­ Are those ¡®My Happy Pony¡¯ panties?!?¡± Jessica¡¯s annoyed voice said as it leaked through the door, ¡°Take them off right now!¡±

    ¡°(Giggle)¡­ Yes, Onee Chan...¡±

    Terrence just shook his head and walked away.

    At least she wasn¡¯t drinking...

    ***

    Gwen looked over at the three somewhat disheveled looking teenaged boys standing in front of her and sighed.

    It was finally time to say goodbye to her beloved little nerds. In the end, only Susan decided to stay with them.

    ¡°Are you sure you want to leave?¡± Gwen asked. ¡°Things are about to get good!¡±

    ¡°N-no¡­ Yes! I mean Yes!¡± Johnny squeaked.

    ¡°You are walking away from a shit-ton of money, guys! You really want to go home, back to school, and all that shit? You can be free, rich and free!¡±

    ¡°T-thank you but I would like to go home, please,¡± Johnny replied as the other two teens nodded vigorously.

    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t stop ya,¡± Gwen said with a smile. ¡°Actually, I can¡­ but I won¡¯t. I¡¯m cool like that!¡±

    ¡°T-thank you!¡±

    ¡°Are you surrrre?¡± Gwen asked. ¡°One of my friends thinks you¡¯re cute!¡±

    Johnny was NOT falling for that one again!

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s ok... We just want to go home, please, ma¡¯am...¡±

    ¡°Ok¡­ That¡¯s cool¡­ go be nerds¡­. Shoo!¡± Gwen said with a wave of her hand.

    The three teens sprinted out of the ship.

    She turned to Marcia, her helmsperson.

    ¡°At least we kept Susie!¡± Gwen said brightly.

    ¡°You just let them go? Don¡¯t we need them?¡±

    ¡°Nah, we¡¯ll get some crew from the Angels,¡± Gwen replied. ¡°I¡¯ll just give Gram a call and¡­ Speak of the Devil!¡± Gwen eximed happily as an electric motorcycle drove into the ship.

    Shay the Elder got off and walked up.

    ¡°Gram-Gram!¡± Gwen eximed, running up to give the old fiend a hug.

    ¡°Hey baby-doll,¡± Shay the Elder smiled returning the hug.

    Gwen slowly stopped smiling as she looked at her great-grandmother¡¯s face. ¡°¡­what?¡±

    ¡°Got a minute, kid?¡±

    ***

    ¡°<em>She</em> wants to talk to <em>me</em>?¡± Gwen asked in shock once they were alone.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Shay the Elder replied darkly. ¡°She does.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°She wants something. She wouldn¡¯t tell me what.¡±

    ¡°<em>Awesome!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°No, baby-doll, it¡¯s the opposite of awesome,¡± her great-grandmother replied. ¡°Look, you gotta listen all respectful-like, but you DON¡¯T gotta do whatever she says. She can¡¯t just order you around like some nobody! You¡¯re a fucking Shay!¡±

    ¡°But what could she possibly want?¡±

    ¡°I dunno and that¡¯s what bugs me, baby-doll. Look,¡± the old woman said, clearly worried, ¡°if she wants a word with you I can¡¯t stop it and you gotta listen but whatever, and I mean whatever she says, whatever she promises, just say no. If you say no she can¡¯t touch you. You say no and you are protected by Angels but if you make a deal with The Devil you stand alone.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not an idiot, Gram-gram,¡± Gwen replied.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t some scrub trying to sweet talk his way into your panties! This is the motherfucking Devil herself! You be all polite and use those pretty words you got but <em>whatever</em> you do, do NOT say yes to her!¡±

    ¡°Got it!¡± Gwen replied. ¡°Be polite and say no.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fucking serious kid,¡± the old fiend said urgently. ¡°I¡¯ve seen it over and over and fucking over again. I don¡¯t care how big and shiny that apple is. It¡¯s fucking POISON! You do not want to make a deal with her! As bad as people think I am, she¡¯s <em>worse</em>! Never forget that!¡±

    Gwen looked at her great-grandmother in shock. She was afraid! Her great-grandmother, leader of the fucking ck Angels herself, one of the true nightmares of the Sol Wars, was <em>scared</em>.

    ¡°O-ok, Gram,¡± Gwen replied nervously.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be right outside the whole time,¡± Shay the Elder said as they walked to the captain¡¯s office. ¡°If you feel yourself starting to give or slip just yell or somethin¡¯ and I¡¯ll barge in there and¡­ and I don¡¯t know¡­ do something!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Gram-gram,¡± Gwen replied as she opened the office door and walked inside.

    She paused at a mirror and made sure she looked ok.

    Then she took a deep breath and sat behind her desk.

    After saying a quiet prayer to the Gods of the Void, she switched on hermunicator.

    ***

    After a disturbingly short wait, Jessica Morgan¡¯s pleasantly smiling face appeared on her holo-screen.

    ¡°I swear it¡¯s like looking back in time!¡± Jessica eximed. ¡°You look just like your great-grandmother did at your age!¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ thanks?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you have things to do and I know for a fact that I do so I will just cut to the chase,¡± Jessica said with a smile. ¡°I assume it has been strongly suggested that you refuse regardless of what I say?¡±

    Gwen shifted nervously. She wasn¡¯t sure how to respond to that.

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± Jessica said, ¡°I know your great-grandmother quite well and I am perfectly aware of her opinion of me¡­ She¡¯s absolutely correct, by the way.¡±

    Gwen just smiled anxiously and remained silent. She wanted to say¡­ <em>something</em>¡­ but everything she coulde up with either sounded absolutely moronic or would just dig her deeper in the hole she realized she was already in.

    Jessica smiled as she let the silence build.

    ¡°I thought you would be more exuberant,¡± Jessica said an eternityter. ¡°You certainly were when you were talking to that radio person.¡±

    <em>Yeah, that¡¯s because ¡®Lissa doesn¡¯t have a fucking brass bull!¡­ And that¡¯s the least of my worries!</em>

    ¡°Wooo?¡± Gwen replied cautiously.

    Jessica burst intoughter.

    ¡°Well yed!¡± she eximed with delight. ¡°I¡¯ll cease wasting either our our time with any further attempts to disarm you and get right down to business.¡±

    Jessica leaned forward slightly.

    ¡°I want you toe to work for me.¡±

    ¡°W-what?!?¡± Gwen spluttered, her eyes wide.

    ¡°Ships, I have. Equipment I can buy. I have the resources to get whatever I want and as much of it as I desire, except for one thing...¡± Jessica said, her eyes glittering, ¡°<em>talent</em>! I can never get enough! It¡¯s the <em>one</em> thing I crave more than almost anything and you, Ms. Shay, have a gift.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t go that far,¡± Gwen said nervously.

    ¡°I would,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Yourstnding? From orbit to surface, in a ss Sixteen, in less than one hour, <em>on top of an unbroken egg</em>? That¡¯s astounding from anyone, no matter how long they have been flying. From someone of your age, your experience, it¡¯s phenomenal.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve been doing this for years!¡± Gwen replied defensively. ¡°I grew up on a ship and-¡±

    ¡°Until they made you stop,¡± Jessica said, cutting her off, ¡°something that I would not have done, by the way, but we will get to thatter.¡±

    Gwen flinched. She <em>knew</em>!

    ¡°Here¡¯s the deal,¡± Jessica continued. ¡°I need people who can quickly, and much more importantly safely, getrge vessels onto and off ofary surfaces and I need them <em>now</em>. There are thousands, hundreds of thousands, of our fellow human beings trapped on dozens of worlds. Those are our people, <em>my</em> people, and I¡¯m not going to abandon them to the fucking Feds. Shuttles aren¡¯t going to cut it! I don¡¯t need to move people by the dozens, I need to move them by the <em>thousands</em>! No spaceports, open-dirtndings. Not everyone can do that. <em>You can.</em> I need that. I need <em>you</em>.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m with the Angels and-¡±

    ¡°Oh I wouldn¡¯t dream of making you forgo your alliance,¡± Jessica said with a smile. ¡°While I would love to bring you fully into my organization I am not asking you to make a choice. I just want use of skills¡­ temporarily. Do these people moving runs for me, and once we have everyone that we can evacuated, I have absolutely no problem with you returning to the Angels¡­ if that¡¯s what you truly want.¡±

    ¡°Ok, that sounds reasonable enough,¡± Gwen said suspiciously. ¡°What¡¯s the catch?¡±

    ¡°The catch?¡± Jessica asked innocently. ¡°Why ever would you think-¡± She broke off into a chuckle. ¡°Yes, there is always a catch isn¡¯t there. I¡¯m not asking you to pilot a cruise ship. These recovery missions are likely going to be through hostile Federation space and the systems aren¡¯t always going to be happy to see us, and by us I mean you. I¡¯m asking you to do something quite dangerous. There is no guarantee you will survive.¡±

    <em>There¡¯s no guarantee I¡¯ll survive now.</em> Gwen thought to herself. <em>I¡¯m rolling with the Angels for fuck¡¯s sake.</em>

    ¡°Of course you will be well rewarded for the risk,¡± Jessica continued.

    ¡°Rewarded?¡±

    ¡°Yes, <em>very</em> well rewarded,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°You have done quite well in obtaining a Federation ss Sixteen. It¡¯s a lovely ship, but entirely unsuitable for my purposes. While its operational capabilities are sub-par the real problem with it is that its a <em>Federation</em> vessel, a clearly pirated one. You can¡¯t be going about representing me in a pirated ship. It will furtherplicate a veryplicated situation and we can¡¯t im that you are ¡®peaceful¡¯ when you are demonstrably already a pirate. I will trade vessels with you. That ss Sixteen can serve me perfectly well in an auxiliary capacity and for it I will give you¡­ this.¡±

    Gwen gasped as a picture of a Krenk-Halyx appeared on the screen. It was number seven on her list of dream ships!

    ¡°I see you recognize it,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°a Krenk-Halyx medium cargo ship with apletely clean title. It¡¯s yours if youe to work with me.¡±

    Gwen¡¯s mind swam. Big engines, huge hyperdrive, advanced nap¡­

    <em>and something else¡­ something much more important...</em>

    Jessica smiled as her eye-tracking software indicated exactly where Gwen was staring. <em>She had her.</em>

    ¡°I have the papers right here,¡± Jessica said with a pleasant smile. ¡°Your ss Sixteen will serve me quite well in an auxiliary capacity and with this you will be able to go <em>anywhere</em>, do <em>anything</em>¡­ once your obligation isplete, of course. You will own the ship from day one and soon as you qualify, you will be its captain.¡±

    ¡°Qualify?¡± Gwen asked suspiciously.

    ¡°Yes, qualify,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I¡¯ll happily gamble the <em>ship</em> on your unproven abilities but not the <em>crew</em>. Ships I can buy but crew? Good crew has always been valuable but now they are <em>priceless</em>! I can¡¯t ¡®give¡¯ you a crew and, no offense, I¡¯m not letting one of <em>my</em> vessels be crewed with a ck Angels cadre. One atrocity and it¡¯s my name, not hers, that is stained. So, unless you have quite a few more members on your cheer squad I¡¯m going to have to assign my people, at least temporarily. Don¡¯t worry. Everyone will understand that having you qualify is second only to the mission. I have every confidence that you will rise to the asion.¡±

    Gwen unconsciously started to y with her hair. ¡°Qualifying¡± could take <em>years</em>.

    ¡°On the bright side,¡± Jessica continued, ¡°your training and subsequent qualifications would be through Morgan Shipping, a member of the Gctic Merchantman¡¯s Association and thus will be honored throughout all of known space. Real training. Real certifications. You wouldn¡¯t be limited to just the ck Angels. You could go <em>anywhere</em>, once our current little situation is resolved, of course. It¡¯s a small inconvenience for one hell of a reward. When this is all over your licenses will be <em>valid</em>. And you will still own the vessel from day one!¡±

    <em>Which means exactly squat,</em> Gwen thought. <em>The crew will follow the captain, not the owner. The only thing the owner can do is hire and fire which means absolutely nothing.</em>

    ¡°I¡­ I appreciate this¡­ I really do...¡± Gwen replied nervously.

    ¡°But?¡± Jessica asked calmly as she felt the hook slip from Gwen¡¯s mouth.

    ¡°But I already have a ship, not as good¡­ <em>God</em>¡­ nowhere as good but it¡¯s <em>mine</em>¡­ And I¡¯m already a captain and I can get a crew, a <em>good crew</em>, that will follow me and as far as those certifications go, I can get them on my own¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m sorry but I have to say no¡­ ma¡¯am.¡±

    Jessica kept her expression pleasant and even but inside she was scowling. She wanted this little morsel.

    <em>How about the actual truth for once?</em> Now there was an interesting thought¡­

    ¡°Don¡¯t want to give up your freedom?¡± Jessica purred, ¡°makes sense. Nobody, at any age, would be eager to give upmand. But I have one question I want you to ask yourself...¡±

    Gwen shifted ufortably under Jessica¡¯s predatory gaze.

    ¡°¡­ do you honestly think it¡¯s going to be that easy?¡± Jessica asked.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°If you take it, it¡¯s yours,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°That¡¯s one of our major ts. Privately, I despise it. I had hoped for so much more than a society of pirates, murders, and thieves. I really did, but, whether I like it or not, that is one of the core ts of our <em>wonderful</em> society. You took that ss Sixteen so it¡¯s yours... <em>Congrattions</em>,¡± Jessica added sarcastically.

    ¡°Yeah, it <em>is</em> mine!¡± Gwen said defiantly, taking real offense. ¡°And I¡¯m going to be a GREAT captain!¡±

    ¡°Of that I don¡¯t have a single doubt,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°The ¡®qualifications¡¯ are for my men, not me. Think about it. I can¡¯t put a ck Angel, especially a sixteen year old one, in front of them and tell them that she¡¯s their captain. Owner they will ept. Captain? That won¡¯t fly.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s why I¡¯m saying no!¡± Gwen replied.

    Jessica smiled. Now she had the girl engaged. Now there was something to grab on to.

    ¡°And you think it¡¯s going to be any easier with the ck Angels? If you honestly do then this conversation is over. I don¡¯t have time to waste with idiots.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Gwen demanded with far more confidence than she felt. ¡°I¡¯m a fucking Shay!¡±

    ¡°How do you think it¡¯s really going to go when you get a <em>real</em> crew, huh? Think about it. <em>Your</em> ship, filled with <em>their</em> people.¡±

    ¡°They are <em>my</em> people!¡±

    ¡°No, they aren¡¯t,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°not really. They stopped being ¡®your people¡¯ the second the ident happened and you know it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit! They-¡±

    ¡°Will be watching you every single second of every single day you are with them,¡± Jessica said calmly. ¡°They will <em>never</em> trust you and can you me them? They use what happened to you as their ultimate punishment. It <em>terrifies</em> them as well it should. Nobody escapes what happened to you unscathed¡­ unaltered¡­ nobody.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about! I¡¯m just fine! I¡¯m-¡±

    ¡°How long can you hold out, hmm? Are you even going to try, or are you, even now, just dying for the chance to do it again?¡±

    Gwen looked away.

    ¡°I knew it, <em>addicted</em>,¡± Jessica said with a smile. ¡°I understand addiction <em>very</em> well. Mine are tame, embarrassingly boringpared to yours, but the same principles apply. Once certain things get under your skin they are there for <em>life</em>. You can deny them, your vices, but you can never truly be free, can you? Part of you is always thinking about it, always <em>yearning</em> for what you can¡¯t have. Isn¡¯t that true?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about...¡± Gwen said weakly.

    ¡°Darling, I¡¯m addicted to alcohol, cocaine, and a pile of designer drugs. I shook the pills long ago but a day doesn¡¯t go by without me thinking about them at least once. The booze and the coke? I only quit those when I reassumedmand and it hurts every single day. I know an addict when I see them because I <em>am</em> one and you, Ms. Shay are an addict. I know it but even more importantly your great-grandmother does. She will be watching and you can bet that there will be someone on ¡®your¡¯ crew that will be fully capable of takingmand the <em>second</em> you fuck up. You <em>might</em> be able to get one hit, <em>maybe</em> and then¡­ right back to the dirt you go and there will be no escape a second time.¡±

    ¡°Nobody is going to take my ship! I¡¯ll-¡±

    ¡°Fight them all?¡± Jessica asked with chuckle. ¡°A captain only leads with the permission of their crew. If they lose their confidence in you, that¡¯s it. The same holds true for your great-grandmother or even myself, by the way. We are, in a way, just as subservient as those who we lead. Nobody gets to do what they really want, <em>trust me</em>,¡± she said ruefully. ¡°If your crew wants you out then you are out, especially in an outfit like the ck Angels. In the Angels it wouldn¡¯t even be mutiny. You can be formally challenged for yourmand. You might be a bad-ass but what chance do you have against one of your Gram-Gram¡¯s real thugs, especially the one she will send for you? You won¡¯t even have the honor of being killed. You will be given a spanking and sent to your room and that will be that.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you!¡± Gwen snarled.

    ¡°Feel free to terminate this call if you think I¡¯m wrong,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°Of course if you do then you won¡¯t get to hear the <em>real</em> reason why I want you. Do you <em>honestly</em> think I don¡¯t already have skilled pilots? <em>I¡¯m Jessica fucking Morgan</em>! My special projects cadre are the best money can buy. I have people who <em>are</em> what you <em>will be</em> in twenty years! Me having a dire need for your piloting skill? That was bullshit. That¡¯s just how I was going to draw you in.¡±

    ¡°I thought you were supposed to never lie,¡± Gwen replied, intrigued despite herself. She should just hang up. She knew it. <em>Just hang up! She said you could!</em>

    ¡°You can bullshit without lying,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°I implied that the talent of yours that I craved was your piloting skill. Oh your skill is astonishing, make no mistake. Your little egg video is making the rounds and I have captains in my special projects division just begging me to poach you. Some of the best crews in the fucking gxy want you, Gwen. More than one ¡®captain¡¯ would happily throw it all away for the <em>chance</em> to be on one of these ships and several of them already want you! Impressive, truly impressive, but that¡¯s not the <em>talent</em> of yours that I want. That¡¯s not why I want <em>you</em>.¡±

    <em>Just hang up and run away!</em>

    ¡°Why¡­ Why do you want me then?¡± Gwen asked knowing it was a trap.

    ¡°The ident.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°You heard me,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°I want you not <em>despite</em> the ident but <em>because</em> of it.¡±

    ¡°Why?!?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to tell you,¡± Jessica grinned. ¡°I will, however, say this. I don¡¯t have to tell you about the wonderful observation decks that the Krenk-Halyx possesses. The one that I offer you will have one tiny little modification. The aft sr garden will be converted into your personal quarters with it¡¯s own shutter control and shields. You won¡¯t have to sneak. You won¡¯t have to hide. You will be able to get your fix whenever you want. Gaze into the hyperspatial void to your heart¡¯s content! <em>Bathe</em> in it every single jump.¡±

    ¡°Wha¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ What?¡± Gwen babbled,pletely stunned.

    ¡°You have absolutely no idea how special you are, Gwen, but I do,¡± Jessica purred. ¡°For <em>almost</em> every single human being, direct exposure to hyperspace is lethal, worse than lethal. What it does to the body and to the mind¡­ well¡­ There¡¯s a reason that the vilest of the vile use it as torture. But, for one nine year old girl, it wasn¡¯t torture. It was <em>amazing</em>, wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    Gwen just nodded, tears welling up in her eyes.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t the first.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Gwen spluttered.

    ¡°Nope,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°You aren¡¯t alone. You are incredibly rare, perhaps one in hundreds of millions, too rare to actually quantify, but you are NOT unique. <em>There are others.</em>¡±

    ¡°Who?!?¡± Gwen gasped.

    ¡°Not telling you,¡± Jessica grinned. ¡°Not yet¡­ There is only <em>one</em> way to find out...¡±

    ***

    Shay the Elder stalked up and down the hall getting angrier and more worried by the second.

    It had been too long. It had been far too long.

    She should barge in there, tell that witch to go and fuck herself!

    She strode to the door and froze. It was fucking Jessica Morgan. There wasn¡¯t much that scared Old Gwen but that woman¡­

    But it was her baby-doll! No! She had given that monster enough! She wasn¡¯t going to get-

    The door opened and her precious little girl stepped out.

    <em>Oh no!</em>

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry Gram-Gram...¡± Gwen said with tears in her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± the old woman sighed as she wrapped her arms around her. ¡°She always wins¡­ Always...¡±

 Chapter The Fallout Settles Part Three â€” So what has Brenda and Helena Been Up To?

    Chapter The Fallout Settles Part Three ¡ª So what has Brenda and Helena Been Up To?

    A much leaner and well-toned Brenda pressed herself into the grass as sensor information was fed into her eye.

    He was close.

    He had given her the slip six times¡­

    <em>Six!</em>

    That was a record. Six missed kills. It was no longer professional...

    It was <em>personal</em>! She <em>never</em> missed!

    And now, she had¡­ <em>Six times!</em>

    Today, it would end.

    That fucker was going down!

    She winced as she opened a small case and started to silently assemble a slender weapon¡­ A <em>weapon</em>! That is what she had been reduced to, crawling in the mud with a fucking <em>energy weapon</em>¡­

    Every trap had failed. Every snare¡­ evaded¡­

    A ¡°cockroach¡± transmitted a brief signal. It had caught the scent!

    She smiled and interfaced with her weapon. Its (ugh) targeting reticle appeared in her vision.

    Her roach sent another signal¡­ <em>Movement!</em>

    She zoomed in on a small stone outcrop as he poked his head cautiously around a small crack. He knew he was being hunted.

    Slowly he started to creep into the open, nervously looking all around.

    She smiled.

    <em>I got you, you little shit...</em> she thought as she pulled the trigger.

    The weapon vibrated slightly but made absolutely no sound as her target spasmed once and then copsed motionless upon the stones.

    She smiled as she lept to her feet and started to sprint. Secondster she was standing over him.

    <em>Everyone</em> falls in the end¡­ everyone.

    She pulled out her scanner to confirm the hit.

    ¡°Plestiodon fasciatus¡­¡± she giggled. ¡°You, my friend, are officially unextinctified!¡±

    The lizard was already starting to wiggle a little. Wasting no time she pulled out her knife and lopped off a few millimeters of his bright blue tail and, using tweezers, quickly put it into a sample vial.

    Secondster the lizard blinked, flipped over, and darted back into the rocks.

    She stood there admiring her prize. This little snippet was going to keep her in beer and chocte for months!

    ***

    The next day Brenda threw one hell of a party at a nearby lodge. Gene-prospectors came from hundreds of miles away to admire the footage and fill up on free food and booze.

    ¡°Keep theming, Harry!¡± Brenda eximed as another group wandered in.

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe it, Brenda,¡± a grizzled old woodsman said shaking his head. ¡°A lizard-zapper¡­ Never seen that one before.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Brenda said as she took a big gulp of beer. ¡°Rub it in...¡±

    ¡°What you mean?¡± the old man asked. ¡°You hit a fucking skink at thirty yards.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but I still had to use a fucking gun, slippery little bastard.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s your deal with guns?¡± the old man asked. ¡°It¡¯s damn near unpatriotic!¡±

    ¡°Noisy, messy, and totallycking in imagination,¡± Brenda scoffed. ¡°Where is the creativity? Where is the fun?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re an odd one, Brenda,¡± the man chuckled, shaking his head. ¡°Damn good prospector, but fucking <em>weird</em>!¡±

    ¡°This from a man who has a poop collection?¡± Brendaughed.

    ¡°Hey! Do you know how many samples I¡¯ve gotten from shit? You kids and your fancy degrees and high-dor scanners and you literally walk past a fucking gold-mine holding your delicate little noses all the while. I¡¯ve gotten twenty varieties of edible nts all from scat.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Yup. You should take time to stop and ¡®smell the roses¡¯ every now and then.¡±

    ¡°Gross, dude,¡± Brendaughed.

    ¡°H-hi Brenda!¡± Jason said as he rushed up.

    The old man grinned and got up to leave ignoring Brenda¡¯s pleading nce with a wicked little smile.

    ¡°C-congrattions!¡± Jason eximed as he sat down next to her. ¡°A skink! That¡¯s amazing! I had no idea they were so beautiful!¡±

    Brenda just sighed. Jason had been ¡°tracking¡± her ever since she decided to take up gene-prospecting as hertest cover. (She had really enjoyed camping during herst job.)

    ¡°Um¡­ Thanks,¡± Brenda replied, a little flustered. Jason <em>was</em> cute, exactly her type, and super nice.

    And that was the problem. Sooner orter, maybe next year, maybe tomorrow, she would disappear, suddenly, without a trace, and forever. He didn¡¯t deserve that.

    Neither did she.

    <em>You could always ¡®retire¡¯,</em> that little voice piped up in her head. She could. Lord knows she had the cash, <em>millions</em> of credits.

    But she didn¡¯t keep at it for the money. I mean, thatst job¡­ The fucking head of Federation Intelligence!¡­ What a rush! No, there was no retiring for her, at least not yet.

    For example, there was Patricia Hu to consider. She normally didn¡¯t do ¡°bounties¡±. She felt them to be beneath her but Holy Jesus on a Popsicle stick! That was a <em>lot</em> of money¡­

    But how would you even do it? She <em>has</em> to be off world, hiding in one of <em>her</em> bases, surrounded by <em>her</em> people¡­

    How would you even begin to track her?

    She felt her pulse rising.

    Then you would have to get in, grab her, alive no less, and get her out. I mean, yeah, you could kill her, but oh the <em>challenge</em>¡­

    It would be a little ¡°shady¡± since she was herst client but she wouldn¡¯t have to kill that many people to ¡®bury¡¯ that little detail and nobody would fault someone going after such a big score¡­

    Would they?

    Something touched her arm. Her hand instinctively slid into her pocket as she exhaled slowly taking care not to swivel her head overmuch.

    It was just Jason.

    He was still talking.

    ¡°Can I see the rifle?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Brenda asked as she let the adrenaline wash away and her hand left her pocket.

    ¡°The rifle you used on that skink. Can I see it?¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t a rifle,¡± Brenda replied. ¡°A rifle is a projectile weapon that imparts a spin on the¡­ Nevermind,¡± she smiled. ¡°Sure. You can see the <em>weapon</em>, but don¡¯t call it a rifle. It hurts me.¡±

    ¡°O-okay!¡± Jason said excitedly.

    The pair headed towards the exit.

    ¡°Keep everybody full and get them drunk!¡± Brenda yelled over her shoulder. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡±

    Harry just grinned and gave Jason a little thumbs up.

    Brenda pretended not to notice. The only thing Jason was getting a peek of was her lizard-zapper.

    <em>It wouldn¡¯t hurt to have a little fun,</em> that voice said.

    <em>Yes, it would,</em> she replied to herself.

    ***

    As Brenda and Jason stepped outside Brenda came to an abrupt stop.

    Outside, at the edge of the parking lot, was a luxury grav-sedan, a nice one.

    <em>One of these things is not like the others...</em> she sang in her head as she took a quick nce at the hover-trucks and RV¡¯s.

    She threw a quick ¡°eye¡± over it as her hand slipped into her pocket and grasped fourrge bright yellow marbles, each one bearing a cheerful smiley-face.

    <em>Armor¡­ shields¡­ cloaking¡­</em>

    <em>Fuck.</em>

    ¡°Wait inside,¡± she said to Jason.

    ¡°Is something wro-¡±

    ¡°<em>I said wait inside,</em>¡± Brenda hissed, her mask slipping.

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll wait¡­ inside...¡± He said quietly as he opened the door.

    ¡°Probably just a silly ex who doesn¡¯t know what¡¯s good for him,¡± she added with a winsome smile. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡±

    ¡°O¡­ Okay...¡±

    Jason went back inside with chills running up and down his spine.

    ¡°Now who might you be?¡± Brenda asked cheerfully as she walked towards the limo, marbles in hand.

    As she approached, the cloak switched off revealing one upant, no other life signs.

    The rear passenger window retracted¡­

    And she burst out into a goofy grin.

    ¡°Markie!¡± she shouted with a cheerful wave, still holding the marbles in her off hand.

    Marcus Dcroix carefully kept his eyes forward and his hands where she could see them. Approaching Brenda unannounced was a very, very good way to wind up dead.

    He noticed a sh of yellow in the corner of his eye and wondered what other cheerfully colored toys were in the area.

    When she was about fifteen meters away he slowly turned his head to face her.

    ¡°I¡¯m leaving the vehicle,¡± he said in a cultured Imperial ent.

    ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± Brenda said in a light cheerful tone.

    <em>She¡¯s pissed¡­ andpletely unconcerned about this floating tank...</em>

    He carefully inhaled and slowly exhaled and consciously lowered his pulse. He had a reputation to maintain and it wouldn¡¯t do if he looked as¡­ ¡°concerned¡±¡­ as he actually was.

    ¡°It¡¯s great to see you Markie!¡± Brenda enthused as she stopped a meter from the side of his ride, ¡°What a <empletely unexpected</em> surprise.¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Marcus replied. ¡°I must say that you look especially lovely this time. The blonde hair suits you.¡±

    ¡°You like?¡± Brenda said with a goofy smile. ¡°Not over the top?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely not! You look ravishing!¡±

    ¡°ttery will not save your life if you don¡¯t start talking¡­ <em>Now</em>...¡± Brenda said in a sweet voice. ¡°What the <em>fuck</em> are you doing here, Marcus?¡±

    ¡°I have a client who wishes to speak with you.¡±

    ¡°So why didn¡¯t you use a dead-drop¡­ <em>Markie</em>?¡± she hissed, her eyes zing.

    ¡°Because you aren¡¯t answering them, <em>Brenda</em>.¡± Marcus said in an annoyed voice as he met her gaze. <em>Ohhhh she¡¯s Pissssedddd¡­. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck¡­</em>

    ¡°And that should tell you what?¡± she asked in a rather pointed tone.

    ¡°I would normally respect your desire for some down-time but this is an extraordinary situation.¡±

    ¡°It better be,¡± Brenda smiled. ¡°It better be <em>extraordinary</em> enough for me to overlook that there exists a person who can find me when I don¡¯t feel like being found. I don¡¯t like that which means I don¡¯t like <em>you</em>.¡±

    ¡°At least hear them out before you unleash the¡­ marbles?¡±

    ¡°I like marbles. They¡¯re fun, especially these,¡± Brenda said with absolutely no expression. ¡°You have ten seconds before you find out exactly how much <em>fun</em> they are,¡± she said, Marcus already turning into a fine red mist in her mind¡¯s eye.

    ¡°One billion credit retainer,¡± Marcus said calmly. ¡°Guaranteed one-hundred million credits a head after the first ten, if ites to that. I would appreciate it if you at least talk to them before dispatching me.¡±

    "Ruin my vacation? Want <em>me</em> to talk to <em>your</em> client? One million. <em>Now</em>.¡±

    ¡°(sigh)¡­ Fine,¡± Marcus grumbled. ¡°Can I reach for a transactor?¡±

    ¡°Do it slowly,¡± she smiled as she opened her hand and all the marbles turned to face him.

    ***

    A million credits richer, Brenda slid into Marcus''s limo.

    ¡°Oooo!¡± she said happily. ¡°This is nice!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you approve,¡± Marcus said never taking his eyes off of the four little faces staring at him.

    <em>How can marbles look suspicious?</em> he thought.

    ¡°Fucking stupid, but nice!¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    ¡°High dor ride in <em>this</em> neck of the woods?¡± Brenda said in a scolding tone. ¡°Shoulda rolled up in a camper or something.¡±

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t find an armored camper on short notice,¡± Marcus replied.

    ¡°Really?¡± Brenda asked. ¡°Call me next time. I know a guy.¡±

    ¡°If I could have called you I wouldn¡¯t have¡­ Nevermind,¡± he said as he slowly and very carefully moved his hands to activate a holo-screen.

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you some privacy,¡± he said as he carefully reached for the door.

    ¡°Nuh-huh!¡± Brenda said cheerfully. ¡°You keep your ass right here where my little buddies can keep an eye on you. <em>I</em> trust you but those little guys don¡¯t like weebs very much. You give them a loving home, try to raise them right, and they still turn out to be little racist shits. It breaks my heart. It really does.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± Marcus said in an amused tone as he activated the limo¡¯s encrypted transmitter.

    A minuteter Brenda sighed in exasperation.

    ¡°That million credits wasn¡¯t for all fucking day, you know.¡±

    ¡°Patience, please, my client is very busy.¡±

    ¡°So was I,¡± Brenda scoffed. ¡°Those beers ain¡¯t gonna drink themselves.¡±

    Much to Marcus''s difort, Brenda started humming to herself as she started making the marbles y leapfrog, and bnce on each other¡¯s heads as she waited.

    An eternityter Jessica Morgan¡¯s face appeared.

    ¡°Well fuck me running!¡± Brenda eximed. ¡°Hi Jessica!¡± she eximed as she waved happily.

    She snapped her fingers and the marbles jumped into her pocket, much to Marcus''s relief.

    ¡°Brenda!¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Love the hair!¡±

    ***

    Roberts had fled the cabin and taken shelter at one of the bars in the cruise ship they were taking to their refuge in the Empire.

    When Helena was writing she could be testy on a good day. These days? Hoo Boy! Thetest news that Daemon managed to snatch from whatever that ¡°chatroom¡± was had Helena foaming at the mouth.

    As well it should, over fifty thousand dead in the capital alone. Jesus. Porkies weren¡¯t Roberts¡¯s favorite people, not by a long shot but still¡­

    That was pretty bad. The fact that Jessica exacted a pretty terrible revenge did little to cate Helena either. If anything, it made her even more enraged.

    Nope. He was sitting right here until it was time for dinner.

    ***

    Helena was typing up a storm when the inte pinged.

    It was the captain. What the hell?

    ¡°Excuse me, Ms. Sterling?¡± he said in a polite tone.

    ¡°Yes?¡± she asked wondering exactly what the fuck she had done. They had been behaving themselves the whole time¡­ mostly¡­

    ¡°You have an, ahem, prioritymunication from the Federation.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡± Helena wittily replied.

    ¡°Yes, they are waiting for you.¡±

    ¡°Well, okay,¡± Helena said, more than a little confused, ¡°Put them through.¡± She felt a moment of panic. Had something happened on Zaran? Oh God! Had her parents been infected, or worse?

    ¡°Ah¡­ It¡¯s not something we can route to your cabin, I¡¯m afraid. Pleasee to themunications center, we have a private lounge there.¡±

    <em>What the fuck?</em>

    ¡°Ok, I¡¯m on my way.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that all about?¡± Daemon asked as themunication ended.

    ¡°I have no fucking clue,¡± Helena responded as she headed towards the door.

    ***

    ¡°Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me!¡± she eximed as the holo-screen in the private lounge switched on.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t prepared to jest,¡± Jessica said with a little chuckle. ¡°Have you heard the one about the two nuns and the eggnt?¡±

    ¡°What the hell do <em>you</em> want?¡± Helena replied caustically.

    ¡°Well first of all I wanted to say that I¡¯m quite the admirer of your work,¡± Jessica said with a pleasant smile.

    ¡°Oh I¡¯m sure,¡± Helena said rolling her eyes.

    <em>How the fuck does she know we are on this ship?</em> Helena suddenly thought in rm. That wasn¡¯t good. That was <em>really</em> not good.

    ¡°That piece you did on Gwendolyn Shay? Marvelous! She was screaming for your blood for weeks! And don¡¯t even get me started on your expose¡¯ on hidden monopolies and price fixing! God! That one stung! Do you have <em>any</em> idea how hard that one hit? Cost me millions!¡±

    ¡°d to be of service,¡± Helena said in a snarky tone.

    ¡°Oh! And the one about corruption in the counsel and the reconstruction contracts? How did you ever find out?¡± Jessica asked with admiration.

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you like to know.¡±

    ¡°Actually, I would,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°If you only knew how much trouble that one caused! I was looking down the barrel of an actual indictment! Good thing I know where the bodies are buried. Not literal ones, of course.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Helena said rolling her eyes.

    ¡°I do want to set the record straight on one thing,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°I have NEVER slept with Cyrus Red! Ever! That man repulsed me. I¡¯m d he¡¯s dead.¡±

    ¡°Is Cyrus Red dead?¡± Helena asked leaning forward, feigning surprise. Paul had already told her everything, but if she could get a statement from Jessica Morgan herself...

    ¡°Oh absolutely,¡± Jessica said with a smile. ¡°He pissed off the wrong person, or, if we are being precise, the wrong fish.¡±

    ¡°Who killed him?¡± Helena asked discreetly reaching for her phone.

    ¡°Axlea, director of Federation Intelligence,¡± Jessica said quickly before she could get the recorder switched on.

    ¡°Seriously?¡±

    ¡°I would say to ask her yourself but, even with your considerable skill, that¡¯s almost impossible.¡±

    ¡°<em>Almost?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Jessica smiled as Helena finally managed to switch on her recorder, ¡°I misspoke. Impossible¡­ <em>Definitely</em> impossible...¡± Jessica said with a wolfish grin.

    ¡°Hmm...¡± Helena said looking at her suspiciously. ¡°Why the fuck are we talking?¡±

    ¡°Because, my intrepid reporter,¡± Jessica said with a warm smile. ¡°I want to offer you ess.¡±

    ¡°<em>You¡¯re joking!</em>¡±

    ¡°Most certainly not,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I like having the best and you have definitely proven yourself to be among them. Relentless, fearless, and most importantly, <em>effective</em>, all things that I admire. You are definitely a valuable resource, one that I would be foolish to ignore, not that ignoring you is easy, mind you,¡± she added with a ruefulugh. ¡°I would like you to join me.¡±

    ¡°There is absolutely no way in hell that I would evere to work for <em>you</em>!¡±

    ¡°And I wouldn¡¯t expect you to,¡± Jessica replied with a smile. ¡°I just want you to embed yourself with the Forsaken. I offerplete ess, total freedom of movement, and absolutely no interference or censorship. I just want you toe over here and do what you do best.¡±

    ¡°Be a pain in your ass?¡±

    ¡°Report the <em>truth</em>,¡± Jessica said emphatically, ¡°as you see it, both the good and the bad, no punches pulled, no stone unturned. Just do your thing.¡±

    ¡°Why?!?¡±

    ¡°Propaganda I have,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I have an entire cruise ship filled with artists, writers, musicians, video producers, <em>marketing teams</em>¡­ I¡¯m sure you have seen their work?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Helena said sourly, ¡°I have.¡±

    ¡°And it reeked of bullshit, because propaganda is by definition just that,¡± Jessica smiled, ¡°You know it. I know it, and, most importantly, so do a LOT of other people. Right now it¡¯s a bullshit contest. My bullshit artists against the Federation¡¯s.¡±

    Jessica leaned forward and grinned a wicked smile.

    ¡°So I want to do what I do best,¡± she chuckled, ¡°Cheat. There is one thing that the Federation is definitely NOT expecting, the <em>truth</em>, the pure unadulterated unvarnished bloody ugly hard stuff. The truth is a weapon that hits as hard as a sabergun and as far as the monsters and fiends of this gxy are concerned, myself included, there is little more that we fear than a light shining under our particr rock. I want to bring the truth, the real honest to God truth, into the mix. Lay it all out there, for the whole gxy to see, both the good and the bad. History is being written and I think it would be very interesting for it to be penned by an actual unbiased observer for once.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit.¡±

    ¡°I can assure that I ampletely serious,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I want the truth of this whole messid bare and put out there for everyone in the gxy, Imperial, Terran, and Fed to see. Let them see what you uncover and let them make their own decisions. Let¡¯s see the Federation spin doctors handle that!¡±

    ¡°And your spin doctors?¡±

    ¡°They will do what they are hired to do,¡± Jessica said, ¡°They will twist the truth and spin it and weave bullshit into gold, exactly as I demand. However, they will be at least a little constrained since they will have my royal bard up their ass, at least I hope that they will. They also have the advantage that we honestly are on the right side of this.¡±

    ¡°Are you?¡± Helena asked. ¡°I¡¯m not so sure.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m inviting you to find out for yourself,¡± Jessica replied with a smile. ¡°Go wherever you want. Talk to whoever you want. Dig. Find the dirt.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m sure you will just let me print it <em>when</em> I do.¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°With one little restriction. We are at war. I am unwilling to allow you topromise active operations. It¡¯s the same with any war correspondent. Other than that, you have apletely free hand and anything that is deemed to be operationally sensitive will be yours to publish the moment that it is no longer so. Let history judge me fairly.¡±

    ¡°And how do I know this isn¡¯t a trap? What¡¯s keeping you from tossing my ass out of an airlock the second I drop by?¡±

    ¡°And prove that every single thing you have ever written about me is true?¡± Jessica scoffed, ¡°Please. People who kill the press are fucking idiots. Why the hell do you think an assassin hasn¡¯t alreadye calling?¡± Jessica asked. ¡°Because I told all of my less enlightenedrades to keep their fucking hands off, that¡¯s why. You ignore the press. You discredit the press. You don¡¯t kill them. That¡¯s just in stupid. I¡¯m a lot of things, Helena, as you will have the opportunity to find out. I¡¯m a whole lot of things, but I¡¯m not stupid.¡±

    ¡°So a ¡®tragic ident¡¯ happens then?¡±

    ¡°Those have a nasty way ofing back to bite you in the ass,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°If anyone knows that things won¡¯t turn out the way they definitely <em>should</em> it¡¯s me,¡± she said ruefully. ¡°Besides, you have a guardian angel.¡±

    ¡°I do?¡±

    ¡°She motherfucking Donovan!¡± Jessica eximed. ¡°If there is ONE person I do not want to add to my list of troubles it¡¯s that bitch! No thank you! I fuck you over and I have her to deal with and I don¡¯t want that. She took the White Star with no casualties, except for one ding-a-ling who refused to wear their armor, and she¡¯s perpetrated the biggest security breach in Federation history only then go and break her own record? That¡¯s one big pile of ¡®nope¡¯ if I¡¯ve ever seen one. I¡¯m in no hurry to tangle with that.¡±

    Helena angled her recorder towards the screen.

    ¡°Is that why you haven¡¯t sought revenge for your grandson, Councilor Morgan?¡±

    ¡°Shit, why did you have to remind me?¡± Jessica groaned. ¡°I gotta address that. I mean she did save me the trouble but-¡±

    ¡°Saved you the trouble?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°You think he was just hiding from the Feds on that ship? He was going to cut a deal where he was going to reveal¡­ well¡­ a whole bunch of things that no longer matter, actually.¡±

    ¡°You were going to have your <em>own grandson killed</em>?¡±

    ¡°I guess you would need to interview me to find out wouldn¡¯t you?¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°If you agree to hang out with us I promise I¡¯ll give you the story, along with a whole bunch of others. I mean, a lot of it no longer applies. I¡¯ve killed half a million and counting! I am no longer concerned with a lot of shit and the other people involved are either dead, dying, or in the process ofmitting crimes that make all that old stuff pale inparison. Hell. I¡¯m willing to bet a lot of my ¡®confederates¡¯ would just love to brag about most of it.¡±

    Jessica leaned back and spread her arms wide.

    ¡°So, whadda you say? Feel like enjoying some bardic immunity?¡±

    ***

    Helena staggered into the bar where Roberts was enjoying a gin and tonic.

    He looked up at her as she stumbled in.

    She looked <em>rough</em>.

    ¡°You ok?¡±

    ¡°Paul,¡± Helena said with a confused and troubled look in her eyes. ¡°I just think I made a deal with the Devil...¡±

 Chapter The Fallout Settles Part Four â€” The Wages of Sin...

    Chapter The Fallout Settles Part Four ¡ª The Wages of Sin...

    Josiah Axion sat behind his desk holding his head in his hands. First the <em>White Star</em> and now this¡­

    Why were the Gods doing this to him?

    Thework was down, <em>everywhere</em>! His stock took a nose dive for no reason and then¡­ poof! His techs told him that the entire Federation was down, something about a ¡°clock¡±?

    All reservations, orders, arrangements for excursions¡­ everything¡­ paralyzed.

    Not that it really mattered. After the <em>White Star</em> and that assassination attempt jokingly called ¡°journalism¡± by that Sterling bitch, their business was ruined. Their insurance was iming that the ship was being used for illegal activity and they were refusing to pay out. Theirwyers were going at it but he had recently been told that they would likely not win. It seems that the entire gxy has a soft spot for children.

    Billions gone¡­ <em>billions</em>¡­ And no way to make it back!

    They shed their fares and then shed them again¡­ and again¡­ They were almost a ¡°budget line¡± now. Unwashed masses gorging themselves on the all you can eatplimentary buffets they had to install on many of their ships.

    Disgusting.

    Then the gue hit and with the travel prohibitions on humans even that went away. He was pandering to the fucking xenos now. Thank the Void Gods that he had managed to get exceptions for his human crew but he was still having get rid of a lot of them because they made the xenos ¡°nervous¡±. His ships had turned into zoos!

    And now, he couldn¡¯t even reach half his fleet. With thework in shambles, everyone was using hyperspace rys for everything! The lines were clogged, even frequencies reserved for shipping and navigation were swamped!

    It was a disaster.

    He couldn¡¯t even reach out to the ¡°shadows¡± anymore. The second the news about Bruce was confirmed, Jessica ckballed him! Every ¡°informal loan¡± he had was called in that very day. It damn near broke thepany!

    But they survived. They survived the scandal. They survived their ie shortfalls. They had survived all of it.

    They survived it all, only to get mmed with this.

    <em>It wasn¡¯t fair!</em>

    There was a knock on his door and rise, his secretary nervously walked in.

    Ah, beautiful rise, always a bright spot in his day.

    rise shifted ufortably as he undressed her with his eyes. He loved her timid nature, her weak protestations¡­

    She knew she loved it, not that it mattered. He owned her. He made that perfectly clear thest time she tried to run.

    ¡°S-sir...¡± she stammered. ¡°Shania Abebe is here to see you, sir.¡±

    <em>Who?!?</em>

    ¡°Did¡­ Did she say what she wanted?¡±

    ¡°No, sir,¡± rise said quietly. ¡°She just said that she wished to speak with you.¡±

    ¡°Well, don¡¯t make her wait, moron!¡± he snapped. ¡°Send her in!¡±

    ¡°Y-yes, sir!¡± rise yelped and sprinted for the door.

    Oh Christ above, Shania, the heir apparent for Abebe Limited, and of course the Wraiths, one of the most powerful of the Confederacy of Sol. People liked to talk about the ck Angels, Dragons, or the Red-Teeth (when they still existed) but the Wraiths¡­

    Where the others were savage, the Wraiths were <em>power</em>. Real power, real wealth¡­ <em>instant death</em>... It was said that they were second only to Jessica Morgan herself.

    The door opened and Shania entered the room.

    Josiah tried not to stare. She was, in a word, stunning. Even at over a hundred years old she was absolutely gorgeous. As his eyes wandered down her long, lean frame they came to rest on the twin pistols that she wore on her hips.

    <em>Swallow pistols</em>, he noted, signature weapons of practitioners of ¡°The Diving Swallow¡±, a martial art that incorporated pistols the same way that other arts embraced the sword.

    <em>So they are wearing their weapons openly now?</em> he thought. That was in tant vition of thew, but then again, who was going to stop her? The world had tipped right into the shitter. He thought things would be better here on Kessup, where their reach wasn¡¯t as strong but even here they walkpletely unopposed it seems.

    ¡°Ms. Abebe!¡± he said warmly as he rose to meet her. ¡°How is your father?¡±

    ¡°In a word, busy,¡± Shania said in a pleasant tone of voice. ¡°My father has epted a position within the newly formed Forsaken government as one of Ms. Morgan¡¯s ¡®cab¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Josiah asked. ¡°What is he in charge of?¡±

    ¡°Justice,¡± Shania said with a slight smile. ¡°He is ensuring the safety of our citizens and the continuity of the rule ofw.¡±

    ¡°The Forsaken havews?¡± Josiah replied.

    ¡°Oh yes,¡± she replied smiling a bit wider. ¡°We do. A society is nothing without rules¡­¡± she said, ¡°And consequences...¡±

    ¡°Well isn¡¯t that civilized of you,¡± Josiah said skeptically.

    ¡°Quite,¡± she replied. ¡°Since my father is otherwise engaged I have assumed leadership of Abebe Limited and our other ventures.¡±

    ¡°Other ventures, huh?¡±

    Shania raised her eyebrow.

    ¡°If you could stop ogling me for a moment, I have business to discuss.¡±

    ¡°Oh! I wasn¡¯t¡­ I was just admiring your pistols!¡± Josiah said defensively as he wilted under her disapproving gaze.

    ¡°As part of our ¡®other ventures¡¯,¡± Shania said calmly, ¡°I have been tasked by Ms. Morgan to procure resources for the Forsaken in preparation for our ongoing struggle for the very survival of our people.¡±

    ¡°I would love to help but, as ¡®Ms. Morgan¡¯ quite aware, I¡¯ve been ckballed, unjustifiably so, and my business has-¡±

    ¡°That includes, among other things,¡± Shania said, her smile fading, ¡°<em>ships</em>.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Josiah asked in rm.

    ¡°Yes, ships,¡± Shania said as a little smile yed across her lips despite herself. ¡°We are prepared to buy out your entire business,¡± she said as she pulled out a tablet. ¡°I think you will find the terms quite generous.¡±

    Josiah took the tablet and after a few seconds looked up at her in disbelief.

    ¡°ONE CREDIT?!? What the FUCK are you ying at?¡±

    ¡°The Wraiths do not ¡®y¡¯, Mr. Axion,¡± Shania said calmly.

    ¡°Get out! I don¡¯t give a fuck who you are. You won¡¯t walk in here and take what I¡¯ve spent my lifetime to build!¡±

    ¡°If you wish,¡± Shania said with a smile. ¡°But there is one other matter I came here to discuss, one of significant import not only to me but to Ms. Morgan as well.¡±

    ¡°Make it quick,¡± Josiah snapped.

    ¡°You might not be aware,¡± Shania said, her eyes sparkling, ¡°but the Forsaken movement isn¡¯t just concerned with ¡®porkies¡¯. We are for everyone ¡®forsaken¡¯ by the Federation, everyone¡­ Like those poor children on the <em>White Star</em>.¡±

    ¡°I already told you that I had absolutely nothing to do with that! Now leave before I call security!¡±

    ¡°I really think you want to hear me out, Mr. Axion,¡± Shania said with a smile. ¡°Jessica Morgan considers the victims of Bruce¡¯s Emporium to be a shining example of what it means to be ¡®forsaken¡¯. They were forsaken by the Federation. They were failed by the Republic¡­ And they were brutalized by Axion Lines. So, Ms. Morgan has given them dual-citizenship and has provided for their care in the Republic.¡±

    ¡°How nice of her!¡± Josiah snapped. ¡°Now-¡±

    ¡°She has given them support,¡± Shania said, cutting him off, ¡°but what she really wants to give them is justice. Justice is important, don¡¯t you agree?¡±

    ¡°And we have cooperated fully with the authorities!¡±

    ¡°The people on their client list, all of them, are now being detained by the Forsaken and after receiving due-process they will be found guilty and receive our version of ¡®justice¡¯,¡± Shania said with a smile. ¡°Do you remember what we used to do to kid-touchers, back in the day, Josiah?¡­ Do you?¡±

    ¡°And¡­ And they deserve it! Those filthy animals ruined my business! They deserve whatever you do to them!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you agree,¡± Shania smiled. ¡°There is one tiny¡­ problem¡­ one we hoped you would help us with.¡±

    ¡°After barging in here and making this joke of an offer you dare to ask for my help!¡± Josiah yelled reaching for his inte.

    ¡°Who is Nathaniel Goodboy?¡±

    Josiah¡¯s blood froze.

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Nathaniel Goodboy,¡± Shania replied with a gleam in her eye. ¡°Turns out that not all of the names on the client list correspond with actual individuals. Some of them appear to be aliases, Nathaniel Goodboy for example.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I have absolutely no idea who that is?¡±

    ¡°Oh well, I figured it wouldn¡¯t hurt to ask,¡± Shania replied. ¡°It doesn¡¯t really matter. We <em>will</em> find out and when we do there is absolutely nowhere they can run, nowhere they can hide. It doesn¡¯t matter if they are in the Federation, Republic, Empire¡­. Hell, they can even run to the Collective. We <em>will</em> find them and what awaits them when we do¡­ It¡¯s bad, Josiah. What we used to do to child molesters, that was because that was the worst thing we could do back then. Today,¡± Shania said with a pleasant smile, ¡°our abilities have increased. Ever hear of Zombie?¡±

    ¡°Zombie?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Zombie,¡± she replied. ¡°It was an attempt to create a highly addictive euphoric. And it is! Unfortunately, it had a few problems that prevented its distribution. It is highly addictive, totally addictive actually. Someone is hopelessly hooked with the first dose. The problem is that it causes irreversible brain damage, rendering someone highly susceptible to suggestion. It makes them, for all intents and purposes, a zombie. When under the influence, which they always are, they will do whatever and I mean <em>whatever</em> someone tells them to. Seriously, you can hand them a knife and tell them to slice off their own genitalia and they will.¡±

    Josiah just stood there frozen with fear.

    ¡°We Wraiths hate waste, Mr. Axion,¡± she said calmly. ¡°Why maim or kill someone when you can get some use out of them. There are many jobs that must be performed and not all of them are¡­ pleasant¡­ or safe¡­ or even survivable, such as processing transuranic elements for dirty bombs or ¡®assisting¡¯ in gue research. Rehabilitation through service. I can assure you that anyone who finds themselves in one of my father¡¯s penal service battalions will think twice before signing up for another stretch, not that the zombies get a second chance, of course. For them, it¡¯s a life sentence.¡±

    ¡°Uh...¡±

    ¡°You know what the really messed up thing about Zombie is, Mr. Axion?¡± Shania asked. ¡°The individual is still ¡®in there¡¯, perfectly lucid, just unable to disobey, unable to stop. They will be fully aware as the radiation consumes them or as they act as a guinea pig or whatever other unpleasantness befalls them. They will bepletely conscious as they take the knife and slowly slice off their own testicles, one by one, and then sever their penis, which will definitely happen, Mr. Axion.¡±

    Shania smiled and reached for the tablet.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯ve taken up enough of your time,¡± she said pleasantly. ¡°I¡¯ll just take this offer and-¡±

    ¡°Wait!¡± Josiah cried out in a strangled voice, tears in his eyes, as he grabbed the tablet. <em>They knew!</em> It was obvious they knew! He would lose his business, his life¡¯s work, but he would live! He could survive!

    ¡°The Forsaken appreciates doing business with you,¡± she smiled as he signed the offer.

    ¡°Take it! Goddamn you! Take it all!¡± he said as he wept.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± she said as the took the tablet. ¡°Oh, there is something else that I wished to talk to you about.¡±

    Josiah copsed into his chair, weeping.

    ¡°I was wondering if you would be interested in making a small donation to the cause,¡± she smiled as she pulled out a ledger. ¡°I had your secretary write out a series of checks for you. All you have to do is sign.¡±

    It was everything that he had¡­ everything¡­

    ¡°You bitch!¡± he cried in anger and despair¡­ Then with sobbing shuddering breaths he started to sign.

    ¡°She was exceedingly helpful in helping to discover your worth, by the way,¡± Shania smiled. ¡°I couldn¡¯t have been nearly as thorough without her. Very promising young woman. I¡¯m taking her with me.¡±

    Josiah was incapable of speech. He only sobbed as he handed over check after check after check.

    ¡°So generous!¡± Shania eximed. ¡°Your love for your fellow man is trulymendable.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you!¡± he sobbed. ¡°...fuck you...¡±

    ¡°The wages of sin, my friend...¡± Shania replied. ¡°The wages of sin is poverty¡­ no¡­ That¡¯s not right¡­ What was it again?¡± she asked as she drew a tiny spray bottle from her pocket.

    ¡°But¡­ but¡­ I did everything you asked. I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!!!¡±

    ¡°And what did you think you were buying? Absolution? Forgiveness?¡± Shaniaughed. ¡°We don¡¯t do forgiveness. You didn¡¯t buy an escape. You bought <em>mercy</em>,¡± she said as she released a cloud of vapor in his general direction.

    He immediately stiffened in his chair, his eyes bulging.

    ¡°Binary agent,¡± Shania said in a matter of fact tone. ¡°Eachponent is in itselfpletely harmless. When theybine, however...¡±

    Josiah started to shake uncontrobly. The pain¡­ Oh the pain...

    ¡°The firstponent was delivered in your morning coffee, courtesy of your lovely secretary,¡± she said as she watched the shaking get worse. ¡°You really should treat your people better.¡±

    The potent nerve agent started to paralyze Josiah¡¯s entire body, including his heart. It almost immediately started breaking down into water, carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and just a tiny bit of phosphorous,pletely undetectable.

    But not before it did its job.

    Josiah¡¯s heart simply¡­ stopped. Considering his age and the stress he was under it wasn¡¯t that surprising, really.

    Shania turned and walked away.

    As she exited his office, rise stood there shaking.

    ¡°Is he¡­ Is he really gone?¡±

    ¡°Quite.¡±

    ¡°And¡­ and I¡¯ming with you?¡±

    ¡°You know far too much to leave here, silly,¡± Shania said with a smile.

    rise¡¯s eyes widened in terror.

    ¡°Rx,¡± Shania replied in a friendly tone. ¡°We don¡¯t waste. I¡¯m in need of a secretary and you are a secretary. Besides, blood in.¡±

    ¡°Blood¡­ in?...¡±

    ¡°It means you just joined the Wraiths, full member.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡± rise said with an excited voice.

    ¡°Really,¡± Shania replied. ¡°Let¡¯s go... <em>phantom</em>.¡± she said as she headed for the door.

    ¡°<em>Yes, ma¡¯am</em>.¡± rise enthused as she followed.

 Chapter Sweatshop Sheloran, Agent Mongrave Stumbles, and Gloria Reborn

    Chapter Sweatshop Sheloran, Agent Mongrave Stumbles, and Gloria Reborn

    A th, robed in translucent silken robes, strode down a strange corridor. The walls and floor were made of a slightly moving membrane, shot through with pulsing veins carrying fluids in a rainbow of colors.

    A glowing orb, one of many that illuminated the hallway, drifted over to her and started to cuddle. She smiled fondly as she petted it as it made little urgent squeaking sounds.

    ¡°Oh, you want a treat?¡± she asked in a strangenguage as she reached into a fold of her robe and pulled out a crimson berry.

    The orb bounced up and down happily in mid-air as a tiny mouth opened eager to ept the morsel.

    The thughed as the light-beast gobbled it up. ¡°Beast¡± wasn¡¯t exactly the right word. It was actually a fruit that had matured on one of the glow-trees in the main garden.

    She squeezed it gently as it giggled. It was still quite firm, still a good month before it would be ready for harvesting. It was an exquisite specimen, so clever, and very long lived for its kind! It would make a magnificent feast when its cycle wasplete.

    She examined it closely, reaching out with her senses as she sang softly. Its seed was forming nicely already wrapped with a healthyyer of fat. Such richness already!

    <em>Yes, this one,</em> she thought with great satisfaction. ¡°You shall be a mighty tree, little one,¡± she crooned at it as it beamed happily (and literally) at her.

    The illuminator followed her as she walked down the hall rubbing happily against her. As she walked a row of bulbous growths sprayed oxygen rich beautifully scented air at her. She inhaled deeply, savoring the fragrance. She stooped down and sang at the soil. It parted at her voice moving gently away from the roots. As the illuminator fruit hovered helpfully above her.

    Such a good little drupe! She reached up and gave it¡¯s underside tickles. It cooed with delight.

    After examining them, the soil closed back with a beautiful song and a wave of her hand.

    <em>Finally!</em> she thought with a satisfied smiled. There had been no sign of the blight in months. It appeared that they finally had put it to rest.

    <em>Everything on the ship in perfect bnce,</em> she thought. <em>If only we were simrly blessed.</em>

    She cocked her head slightly. She was being watched again. <em>Now who is that?</em> she mused. It wasn¡¯t her rivals or the misguided revisionists. Of that she was sure. It was <em>different</em>, not real but yet was.

    She paused at a section of wall and crouched cing her hands on the floor. Nobody had followed her.

    She rose and caressed one of the walls, singing softly as she did so.

    The wall quivered and started to thin, bing transparent, revealing a pitch ck chamber behind it. Leaving her favorite illuminator behind, she stepped into the thin gtinous membrane, passing through it with ease. It thickened and became opaque, tough, and leathery just like the rest of the passage in seconds.

    The chamber started to gently glow in soft cyan hues with phosphorescent fungi when they recognized her scent. Had she been someone else, her little darlings would have had a much different reaction.

    One could never be too careful, especially these days.

    She waited, silently, her hands on the bones of the ancient vessel in which they traveled the other realm, crossing the gulf between the stars in mere days.

    The ancient cellulose bones whispered to her. They said that nobody followed.

    ¡°Thank you old friend,¡± she said pressing her head against the beams.

    She then shrugged off her garments, letting the silken wisps float to the floor. Her graceful form then moved to a small tray, grown into the wall, filled with a nutrient rich broth.

    Inside, were a row of small sk gourds in a rainbow of hues. She selected two. She then walked to a small circr pool in the center of the chamber filled with absolutely pure water.

    She knelt by the pool and a small pore in the first gourd opened. She ced two drops of purified malporixlorh extract on her tongue. She shivered as the potent drug entered her bloodstream, her mind, her soul, unlocking that which was bound.

    After a few minutes of meditation, the second gourd opened, it¡¯s top forming a small lip. She poured a small measure of an oily substance in the water, its surface soon covered with endlessly shifting prismatic colors.

    She then closed her eyes. Small ripples spread around their edges as nds secreted a greasy, waxy substance that instantly melted coating a thin, almost invisible membrane.

    She opened her eyes¡­ Then she opened them again as the transparent covering slid back revealing her real eyes, the secretions causing colors to dance across their surface.

    She stared into the pool, transfixed by the constantly shifting colors. They then started to intensify as time slowed down.

    Small creatures living in the lining of the pool started to glow as she extended her senses beyond the walls of the ancient ship, out into the formless, timeless void of the outer realm in which she traveled, peering into the endless shifting tides of the past, present, and future, constantly changing like the colors on the surface of the water.

    She smirked. Nothing changed, not really. Their fate was fixed, as it was ever since their terrible ¡°mistake¡± that really wasn¡¯t one. Try as they might, her fellow th would not seed. Every move they made to avoid what they were doomed to be only set it more firmly in the singing strings of reality.

    She took a moment to see the struggling lines of probability as the two sides waged their pathetic war. Her sisters were fighting and all too often these days dying to prevent the foolish revisionists from tearing down all that they had built over hundreds of thousands of years. Both sides were fools. Her brothers and sisters were fighting and dying trying to preserve something that didn¡¯t need preserving and the fundamentalists were fighting to stop that which could not be stopped.

    They would not stop it. They couldn¡¯t. They could only dy things a little. Fate¡¯s judgment, especially when annoyed, was absolute.

    The fate of the th, and in a more immediate and pressing sense, her own, was sealed, not that it mattered. The past was set. The future was set. The only thing they were free to toy with was the present.

    And her present was going to be as pleasant as possible for as long as possible. Then, just like that little glowing drupe, her cycle would end filled with happiness and peace as she rejoined all that is.

    She realized that she was being distracted by the brightest colors and cleared her mind, peering deeper, looking for the soul that was caressing her being in the dead of night.

    She took another drop of malporixlorh, a risk, but a worthwhile one as her mind expanded further.

    <em>There!</em> deep in the timelessness somewhere¡­ <em>somewhen</em> an individual¡¯s mind was swimming through the void vibrating in time with the strands of fate, their fate.

    She smiled and the shifting colors of her eyes synced with the shimmering of the pool. <em>She saw her!</em>

    ¡°Hello there,¡± she sang softly.

    ***

    Sheloran awoke with a gasp, sitting bolt-upright in bed.

    ¡°Murrph?¡± Craxina muttered as she awoke.

    ¡°The dream again?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°It was <em>really</em> freaky this time,¡± she said as she shuddered. It felt like someone was staring at her.

    ¡°You should really stop ying that game,¡± Craxina said sleepily as she snuggled Sheloran.

    ¡°I know¡­ I know,¡± Sheloran replied. This all started after ying ¡°Submerged!¡±. It was an older title but there was just something about it. The surreal organdscapes, and the strange little cult following that still kept the servers running after twenty years, had entranced her from the first second she loaded it.

    She literally couldn¡¯t stop ying. She had always scoffed at ¡°gaming addiction¡±, but she was really starting to wonder.

    And the more she yed it the more intense the dreams. They terrified her. They weren¡¯t gory or violent, like some of her nightmares, they were just¡­ Weird¡­ <em>Scary weird...</em>

    Really scary.

    There was no way she was going to sleep again tonight. She started to get out of bed.

    ¡°Where you goin¡¯?¡± Craxina asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m just going to sit for awhile,¡± she said as she wrapped a silken robe, something that she recently bought online, around her night dress.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to y aren¡¯t you?¡± Craxina asked usingly.

    ¡°Not after thatst dream,¡± Sheloran said as she started to make a pot of tea. She really wished she had some Helson Grass or Arenaul Herb. She had taken for granted all of the herbs and nts of her homeworld. The creators had blessed them with such bounty. For the thousandth time that week she wished she had the presence of mind to snatch a few seeds, a clipping or two.

    As soon as that pooping border opened back up, she was definitely going to be getting her buddies to go pick up a few hundred different seeds. It was going to be tricky, since they were ¡°sacred¡± but credits talk and dogma walks. Somebody would be willing to go foraging for a few bucks (or games).

    She was getting those fucking seeds¡­ Oops¡­ She was getting those darn seeds, she thought as she corrected herself. What was with her potty mouth these days? The Great Prophet warned about obscenity. It was ¡°dangerous¡±¡­ for some reason.

    She sat down with a book on Terran botany as she sipped her tea. She started unconsciously flipping the pages faster and faster. She suddenly stopped, staring at an organic molecule.

    <em>That¡¯s close!</em> she thought excitedly and then blinked. <em>She could work with that!</em>

    <em>Close to what and what, exactly am I going to do to it?</em>

    Oh poop, there was that strange feeling again. She set down her tea and reached for a bottle of absinthe. Absinthe was yummy!

    And it certainly took the edge off...

    As she took out a box of sugar cubes, Craxina quiet snoring started to fill the room. She smiled. She used to find it so annoying but now, it was reallyforting. It was really nice having someone to sleep with. It wasn¡¯t a boyfriend but still, it was nice. Then again, th, even boyfriends and girlfriends, didn¡¯t sleep together. Heck, even husbands and wives didn¡¯t. She wondered why? It was nice to have someone next to you. Some of the things that the priests said the Great Prophetmanded seemed kinda loopy every now and then. (May the Great Prophet forgive her.)

    What was the harm of ¡°sleeping alongside one another¡±? It wasn¡¯t like they were ¡°doing anything¡±¡­ (Not that Craxina hadn¡¯t offered¡­ Fortunately, she was fine with the word ¡°no¡± for once...)

    She was starting to think the Great Prophet was just opposed to a good time.

    <em>No, he meant well. He really did. He was just¡­ misguided...</em>

    <em>What!?! Great, now I really am a heretic...</em>

    Her eyes suddenly looked over at her <em>very nice</em> VR rig.

    She was already awake and just a little Submerged wouldn¡¯t hurt.

    She walked over and put on the modified headset and smiled as a shimmering pool filled her vision. She couldn¡¯t wait to see how her little demon/flower hybrids were doing!

    ***

    The next morning Craxina woke up to an empty bed.

    She looked over towards the VR rig. There she was, asleep with the headset on.

    ¡°Wake up, junkie,¡± Craxina said only halfway joking as she nudged Sheloran.

    ¡°<em>I¡¯th ras lori¡¯kiah-shun?</em>¡± Sheloran mumbled.

    ¡°What?¡± Craxina asked in rm, her fur standing on end for a second as shivers ran down her spine (and not in a good way).

    ¡°Huh?¡± Sheloran asked hazily as she pulled off the headset. ¡°Sorry, I guess I dozed off.¡±

    ¡°Do you gamers have your ownnguage or something?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran asked in confusion, ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You just said something really weird. It was like <em>really creepy</em>.¡±

    ¡°Did I?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! It sounded, I don¡¯t know¡­ <em>demonic</em> or something!¡±

    ¡°Well, I am the Befouler,¡± Sheloran joked, ¡°Grr!¡± She really didn¡¯t want to think about¡­ whatever just happened.

    Craxina justughed along but in all honesty, Sheloran was starting to scare her a little¡­

    And it was getting worse¡­

    ***

    Helen Mongrave drank her morning coffee as she essed a certain dating website.

    She smiled. There was a rather filthy message from an ¡°admirer¡±.

    ¡°Oh, Jon,¡± sheughed fondly. He still had the same sense of humor he had in boarding school.

    She loaded up a script and processed the unsolicited dick pic that was attached. At least it wasn¡¯t his dick. She knew for a fact, unless he had a very uncharacteristic growth spurt, he was nowhere nearly that well endowed.

    A message slowly started to appear.

    He had made it into the Republic and was wanting a list of who he could trust as well as a briefing of thetest developments.

    She loaded a rather graphic image that was definitely not to Jon¡¯s taste and encrypted her reply with a chuckle.

    <em>Let¡¯s see how Jon likes that one!</em> she chuckled to herself. Jon was a pretty good man, or had grown into one. Yeah, he screwed up royally in the past but she couldn¡¯t help but wonder if maybe, after all this bullshit was finally over, maybe¡­

    ***

    Sheloran wiped down the counter and cleaned the espresso machines for the sixth time that morning as she tried not to think aboutst night.

    Maybe she should just uninstall that fuc-¡­ that darn game.

    <em>The Great Prophet was right!</em> she thought as she felt something stir inside her. Obscenity is dangerous! <em>That¡¯s it! No more potty-mouth!</em>

    ¡°May the Prophet guide my steps, guide my thoughts¡­ May he guide me away from the darkness...¡± she repeated to herself, a quiet little mantra.

    The door opened and a small xeno walked in with fuzzy pale grey fur and a cute little snout, a Garthra? She was pretty sure it was a Garthra, a Federation species.

    ¡°Hi!¡± Sheloran said brightly. A customer! A lot of her business, both legit and somewhat less so, depended on the Federation trade, something that had been brought to a screeching halt. A lot of the neighborhood was in the same boat. The whole free port zone was for the Feds, not the Empire, and a lot of the businesses in the area were run by Federation emigres just as reliant on the Fed trade as she was.

    The whole ce had almost shut down. If it wasn¡¯t for her annoyingly profitable den of ill-repute she would definitely be in trouble. ¡°The girls¡± (and a few boys and other genders) were pretty much what was keeping the door open these days.

    ¡°H-hello...¡± the little female said nervously.

    ¡°Can I help you?¡± Sheloran asked hopefully. ¡°Maybe some media?¡± God, she hoped it was media. That was the whole reason for this whole goddam-¡­ pooping thing.

    ¡°I¡­ I heard¡­ I heard that...¡± she said as she clutched at her pretty little dress. ¡°I heard that someone could¡­ make some money here? By doing¡­ doing...¡± she buried her face in her little hands and made a strangled little yelping noise.

    Sheloran didn¡¯t know Garthras? (she was pretty sure it was a Garthra) very well but she knew crying when she heard it!

    Poop. She sighed sadly. Unfortunately this was bing far toomon. People were stuck with no way to get home (or couldn¡¯t return for one bullshi-¡­ poopy reason or another) or their business were tanking or their employers were going under. Desperation was setting in and she was filling out way too many union cards for the wrong reasons.

    It was¡­ <em>wrong</em>, she thought as she felt an odd pressure around her eyes. Her eyes had been bugging her heretely. She probably needed some Eyesoothe, that¡¯s what you took when your eyes were hurting like this. It made it go away. Some Restful Palm wouldn¡¯t go amiss either. It really helped with the unsettling dreams and recurrent unpleasant thoughts she¡¯d been having.

    Maybe some Void Balm too! What she wouldn¡¯t give for just a few blossoms. Absinthe just wasn¡¯t cutting it anymore, at least in quantities remotely close to advisable.

    Not knowing what to do she walked around the counter and started to wrap her arms around the distressed xeno. The poor Garthra copsed into her arms, sobbing inconsbly.

    Sheloran squeezed her eyes shut and winced as her orbits ached. Seriously, this was fucked up¡­ <em>Messed up! I meant messed up!¡­ Great Prophet guide my steps...</em>

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s going to be ok,¡± Sheloran said, not really believing it.

    ***

    A few minutester after Sheloran calmed her down and gave her a soothing cup of peppermint tea (She wasn¡¯t sure why but she was definitely certain it would help¡­ And it did!)

    ¡°Have you eaten today?¡± Sheloran asked as Uhrrbet (that was her name) sipped her tea.

    She shook her head.

    ¡°Did you eat yesterday?¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s nose started to run (Garthra ¡°tears¡± were really snotty!) as she shook her head.

    ¡°Well that I can help with!¡± Sheloran said with a smile. ¡°Do you like donuts?¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s eyes lit up.

    ¡°Come around back,¡± Sheloran smiled, the pressure in her eyes finally subsiding, ¡°Plonxi damn¡­ I mean darn¡­ Great Prophet guide me!¡­ She <em>darn</em> near bought out a bakery this morning.¡±

    As Uhrrbet was stuffing herself with yeasty goodness Craxina walked in, robe annoyingly open.

    ¡°I tell you,¡± Craxina eximed as she dried herself off (after a shower! Get your head out of the gutter, perv!), ¡°that guy was <em>freaky</em>! You won¡¯t believe what he wanted me to do!¡± sheughed. ¡°I thought I¡¯d heard them all but, wow!¡±

    Uhrrbet stiffened up as Craxina started to go into detail.

    ¡°Not a good time, Craxi,¡± Sheloran said urgently making a cutting off motion behind Uhrrbet¡¯s back.

    ¡°Oh, it isn¡¯t bad at all!¡± Craxina said to Uhrrbet. ¡°You don¡¯t even have to try to shove one inside you, if you don¡¯t wanna. You can just y with it or put it in your mouth! Their stuff tastes really good!¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s nose started to run.

    ¡°Craxi. Go. Away!¡± Sheloran said as her eyes started to pulse.

    ¡°Yessh!¡± Craxi said, her damp fur trying to stand on end. ¡°Alright! Alright! Jesus!¡± she yelped as she snatched a donut and scurried off.

    ¡°Sorry about that,¡± Sheloran said to Uhrrbet trying to calm her back down. ¡°Craxi is¡­ well her whole species is¡­ They¡¯re <em>different</em> from most of us.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ ok¡­¡± Uhrrbet said between damp sniffles. ¡°I¡­ I guess I need to get¡­ used to...¡±

    She broke down, dripping boogers onto the donuts.

    <em>I hate my job,</em> Sheloran thought as she held Uhrrbet. <em>This was supposed to be fun, selling games to Federation delinquents. It wasn¡¯t supposed to be this bullshit.</em>

    ¡°Hey¡­ hey...¡± Sheloran said soothingly, somewhat at a loss. ¡°Look, you don¡¯t have to do this.¡±

    ¡°I do!¡± Uhrrbet wailed. ¡°I owe the Harkeen money! If I don¡¯te to work for you, I¡¯ll have to work for them!¡±

    Sheloran snarled as her eyes started killing her. Those¡­ <em>jerkfaced bullies</em>! She hated them with a passion! They were part of the Threen mafia and were a constant pain. They thought they ran the free port. She already had more than one run-in with those¡­ fucker-¡­ <em>Jerks!</em>. She had done a couple of ¡°union membership drives¡± involving some of their ¡°employees¡±. They liked to growl and spit but they just a bunch of scared little bullies. When the union came calling they always backed down but sooner orter, they were right back at it. Drugs, prostitution, ¡°protection rackets¡±, stuff like that.

    She didn¡¯t have a problem with them because she had the union at her back but so many others had no choice but to pay them off.

    And the cops were useless. They didn¡¯t care what happened ¡°down here¡±. They just broke up fights and if something worse happened they would collect the bodies and make arrests if they could.

    She really should start selling weapons¡­ It wouldn¡¯t take much to get a dealer¡¯s license¡­

    But most of the little Feds were too timid to use them anyway. That¡¯s the problem. Everyone ran scared of them.

    ¡°Is there <em>anything</em> else you can do?¡± Sheloran asked helplessly. ¡°A skill, a trade¡­ anything?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I can sew,¡± she said hopefully. ¡°I made this dress!¡±

    ¡°Well that¡¯s something!¡± Sheloran said cheerfully. ¡°Hand made anything is valuable! If you can sew then there is no reason why you couldn¡¯t make human clothes and sell them!¡±

    ¡°But I don¡¯t have money for fabric or anything,¡± Uhrrbet said helplessly. ¡°And if I don¡¯t pay them something by tomorrow they say they¡¯ll¡­ they¡¯ll...¡±

    She started crying again.

    <em>Voiddammit¡­ I mean poop¡­ Great Prophet help me! Please!</em>

    ¡°(Sigh)¡­ How much do you owe?¡± Sheloran asked cursing herself (for real) for asking.

    ¡°Fifteen hundred¡­ Sixteen hundred by tomorrow,¡± she said helplessly.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Sheloran said as she pulled out a transactor. ¡°I¡¯ll front you the cash to pay them off, and you can work here, I still have space. I¡¯ll pay you by the piece and then¡­ I¡¯ll sell it¡­ somehow¡­ I don¡¯t know, I¡¯ll set up a website or something.¡±

    Uhrrbet looked up at her in hopeful disbelief.

    ¡°You¡¯d¡­ You¡¯d do that?¡±

    <em>Why?</em> Sheloran implored the universe. <em>Why are you doing this to me?</em>

    ¡°Sure, why not?¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°My ¡®normal¡¯ business is in the crapper. Might as well diversify a little. Let¡¯s call it an investment. If it works out then great! If not¡­ then we can talk about a union card.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡± Uhrrbet eximed throwing her little arms (and tail) around a somewhat ufortable Sheloran. ¡°Thank you! Thank you so much!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s what I do¡­ apparently.¡± Sheloran said as she hugged her back.

    <em>At least my eyes aren¡¯t hurting anymore. That¡¯s worth something.</em>

    ***

    Helen Mongrave clicked ¡°send¡± on her naughty little picture with augh. Jon was just going to ¡°love¡± that! Furries were <em>definitely</em> not his thing!

    Hey, that rabbit was pretty cute if she did say so herself!

    Chuckling to herself, she shrugged into her shoulder holster, threw on her jacket, and headed out towards her grav-car. It was an older model, but it still worked great. Besides, she loved her old junker!

    At least it gave her coworkers an easy target for the ration of shit they liked to throw back and forth. She pretended it bothered her so they would keep at that instead of finding something that really stung.

    As she was reaching her car she noted movement out of the corner of her eye.

    Two ¡°suits¡± approached. Cheap ill-fitting suits, obvious bulges from their shoulder-holsters¡­

    Agency. She would bet her life on it.

    <em>Fuck...</em> she thought as she unbuttoned her jacket.

    ¡°Ms. Mongrave?¡± a broad-shouldered human with a buzz-cut asked.

    ¡°Never heard of her,¡± Helen replied as she turned to face them and surveyed the area. Two agents visible, probably more.

    She was fucked.

    ¡°You need toe with us, ma¡¯am,¡± the man said as he reached into his jacket.

    She just smiled and drew her pistol¡­

    And promptly tried to shove it in her mouth.

    <strong>Zap</strong>

    A heavy-stunner bolt cut her down before she could silence herself.

    Helen Mongrave, dropping her pistol, copsed.

    The two agents caught her before she hit the ground as an unmarked van screeched to a halt and the door flew open.

    Within seconds, Helen was gone.

    ***

    Jon burst intoughter as he checked his messages.

    ¡°What?¡± Skippy asked as she walked up and wrapped her arms around him. ¡°Who the fuck is that bitch?¡± Skippyughed as she saw the picture. ¡°Making a move on my man? I¡¯ll kill her!¡±

    ¡°I guess the cat¡¯s out of the bag,¡± Jonughed as he started decrypting the message. ¡°Can¡¯t keep anything from that woman,¡± he chuckled, "never could."

    He stopped chuckling as he read. It wasn¡¯t good. It went way deeper than he hoped.

    ¡°Jesus,¡± he muttered.

    ¡°That bad?¡±

    ¡°Worse,¡± Jon replied. ¡°I don¡¯t know how to fix this.¡±

    Skippy shed a toothy smile as her des slowly extended.

    ¡°I have an idea...¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s hope it doesn¡¯te to that,¡± Jon replied. ¡°The Republic has been though enough¡­ Oh hey!¡±

    ¡°That sounds encouraging.¡±

    ¡°I never thought in a million years I¡¯d say this but I <em>fucking love</em> Jessica Morgan!¡± he said as he pointed at the screen.

    ¡°Wow...¡± Skippy replied. ¡°That¡¯s a <em>shitload</em> of money!¡±

    ¡°I wonder how loyal her inner circle really is?¡± he chuckled.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask that bitch in the hold?¡±

    ¡°ording to her they are like a cult,¡± Jon replied, pletely unshakable.¡±

    ¡°They thought the same about her, you know,¡± Skippy grinned. ¡°I wonder how many other ¡®unhappy diners¡¯ there are?¡±

    ¡°Dare to dream...¡± Jon replied as he pulled Skippy onto hisp.

    ¡°What?¡± Skippy asked. ¡°That picture get your motor running?¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± Jon said as he pulled her in for a kiss. ¡°I got the real thing right here.¡±

    Skippy giggled as she started to pull off his t-shirt.

    Jon¡¯smunicator started to ring.

    ¡°Goddammit,¡± he muttered as Skippy just signed, nuzzled his neck, and started to get dressed.

    Jon looked at the screen and frowned. Rasheed was calling? On a live connection?

    That wasn¡¯t good.

    ¡°Lubricants Unlimited customer service department,¡± Jon answered. ¡°Your asshole is our asshole!¡±

    ¡°Jon,¡± Rasheed said grimly, ¡°They got Helen.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°Grabbed her about an hour ago. They are using her of treason and conspiring against the Republic.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that a bit redundant?¡± Jon replied.

    ¡°This is serious, Jon! She knows everything! If she talks...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a lot worse than just serious,¡± Jon said with a frown, ¡°However, if they are doing this officially, then she¡¯s probably in the system somewhere. Everyone breaks but it¡¯s going to take time to crack her open. Find her. We¡¯ll handle the rest.¡±

    ¡°Ok. We¡¯ll find her,¡± Rasheed said regaining hisposure.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be a hero, Rasheed,¡± Jon said grimly. ¡°If it looks like it¡¯s getting too warm, you guys need to bolt. We don¡¯t need topound the tragedy.¡±

    ¡°If we run, we lose the agency,¡± Rasheed replied. ¡°I¡¯m not handing over Republic Intel to that bitch!¡±

    ¡°We might not have a choice,¡± Jon replied. ¡°If you can¡¯t locate her, go. I¡¯d rather lose the agency than lose the agency and some damn good operatives and analysts.¡±

    Rasheed¡¯s worried face suddenly broke into a wry smile.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Since we are technically ¡®criminals¡¯,¡± he replied, ¡°Why don¡¯t we call in the big guns?¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°Question,¡± Rasheed said as his smile grew. ¡°which criminal did you keep a holo of on your desk?¡±

    ¡°I like the idea but they don¡¯t operate in the Republic,¡± Jon replied.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Rasheed said with a grin, ¡°about that...¡±

    ***

    In a hollowed out asteroid on the outskirts of Sol, Harval Smythe and a motley assortment of humans and xenos all stood anxiously beside it¡­

    Absolute perfection¡­ The single greatest achievement of his life.

    A xen beauty with the most frightening eyes he had even seen in his life silently walked beside it lightly running her fingers along the hull.

    ¡°We worked around the clock, ma¡¯am,¡± he said nervously, unnerved by her silence.

    ¡°I paid for quality, not haste,¡± she said in a leaden voice.

    <em>What the hell was she?</em> he thought as he was filled with dread. Something was seriously wrong with her.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ <em>perfect</em>, ma¡¯am,¡± he stammered as his crew all nodded furiously. ¡°We have all of the NDT results and diagnostics right here,¡± he said as he handed her a tablet.

    Gloria took it and after a few moments she looked up, her eyes shing with anger.

    He flinched. He thought the dead eyes were bad. These were worse!

    ¡°These results are not expected. You have deviated from my specifications. I am¡­ <em>displeased</em>.¡±

    Fear gripped his heart. There was little doubt what that might mean.

    ¡°Y-yes¡­ we made some adjustments¡­ Improvements!¡± he yelped. ¡°Look!¡± he gestured at the tablet. ¡°We increased power output by fifteen percent and your thrust to weight ratio has increased significantly! And we added safety features!¡±

    ¡°Safety?¡± she hissed advancing upon him slowly.

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± arge ck man muttered as he picked up amunicator, ¡°She?¡± he said urgently. ¡°You might want to get down here! Gloria is about to go Yellowstone!¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± an annoyed voice replied. ¡°Stop her.¡±

    ¡°No way!¡± the giant eximed. ¡°She¡¯s in her unhappy ce!¡±

    ¡°The exposure levels in the cockpit werepletely uneptable!¡± Harval yelped as he backed away, ¡°We added a modified reactor shielding unit around the cockpit! The increased power levels more than make up for it and it reduces your signal emissions by two percent! Look! Please for the love of God look!¡­" he begged as Gloria slowly kept walking towards him with ssy porcin like eyes. "<em>Look at the specs you stupid bitch!</em>¡± He screamed, suddenly enraged. He had created a masterpiece, goddammit!

    ¡°<em>Oh no,</em>¡± a small brte gasped quietly as she looked away.

    Gloria blinked in surprise and looked at the tablet again. There was the briefest flicker of life in her eyes and then with a slow exhale they zed over again.

    ¡°I¡¯m taking it out,¡± she said after a few moments.

    ¡°Yes! Please!¡± Harval eximed.

    ¡°Tell T¡¯sunk¡¯al to try to find me,¡± she said as she climbed inside the sleek ck ship.

    There was absolutely no sound as it powered up. The hangar doors opened and before they had stopped moving the ship was gone leaving nothing but a small hurricane as it left.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± Jessie screamed as she dove for cover.

    Outside the ck ship banked, rolled and dived with ever increasing speed.

    ¡°We just got pinged.¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said in his trademark unppable tone. ¡°Range¡­ <em>One-hundred yards?!?</em>¡­ Hyperspace event! Range¡­ unknown!¡­ She got us again¡­ Range¡­ <em>No way!</em>¡± he eximed. ¡°<em>Fifty yards?!?</em>¡±

    The <em>Paper Tiger</em> shuddered.

    ¡°She just rubbed our shields!¡± the chief shouted, ¡°Crazy bitch!¡±

    ¡°Hyperspace event!¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al yelled. ¡°Close enough to sh our shields!¡±

    The ship shuddered again.

    ¡°Fucking stop that!¡± the chief yelled into the microphone.

    ¡°Where the fuck is she?!?¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al yelled, his normally unppable nature thoroughly pped.

    ¡°Hyperspace event!¡± he shouted. ¡°How the hell is she jumping so fast?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s fluttering the banks!¡± the chief said shaking his head, ¡°Recharging them with the surge from the shields as she ms through space time! I¡¯ve heard rumors about this but I¡¯ve never actually seen it done before. <em>It¡¯s suicide!</em> One fraction of a second off and¡­ boom! It takes a true master to even think about pulling it off and even so, those banks must be made out of unicorn hooves or something! Where is she venting the heat? She can¡¯t be sitting in it, right? Not even she would cook herself, would she?¡±

    <strong>WHAM</strong>

    ¡°What the fuck was that?!?¡± She yelled.

    ¡°Direct contact to our shields with the hull of the ship,¡± the chief shouted angrily. ¡°She missed us by less than a meter!¡± He grabbed the mic. ¡°Goddammit! If you fry the shields you are the one cleaning the conduits!¡±

    ¡°We just got painted by direct targeting,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said, ¡°range¡­ Hyperspace event!¡­ We¡¯re painted¡­ <em>From the other side</em>!¡­ Range¡­ Oh I don¡¯t even fucking care anymore¡­¡±

    ***

    Harval and about a dozen very nervous men and women of several races stood nervously in the shop bay.

    Suddenly there was a st of wind¡­

    And the ship was there, so fast that nobody really saw it pull in.

    Itnded, and Gloria stepped out, eyes as dead as ever.

    She walked up to Harval¡­

    ¡°So¡­ Is it-¡±

    Before he could react Gloria lunged¡­

    And gently kissed him on the lips.

    He stared in disbelief.

    Her eyes were as dead as ever¡­

    But there were tears running down her cheeks.

    Without a word she pulled out a transactor¡­

    ¡°Rerun all diagnostics,¡± she said without emotion. ¡°Recheck the frame. I¡¯ll pay double for your time.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±

    ***

    ¡°You crazy bit-¡± the chief started to yell as Gloria entered the Tiger, and then fell silent.

    Gloria, the brigand, the psychopath, was <em>gone</em>.

    It was Gloria, the Ice Queen, Gloria the Undying, Lieutenant Samuels, the Lich Queen, the Angel of Death, who stepped aboard.

    ¡°Jessie,¡± Gloria said in a cold dead voice <em>almost</em> like the one she always used, ¡°Do you have targets for me?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Yeah,¡± Jessie said quietly just staring at her.

    ¡°Lieutenant,¡± the chief said briskly. ¡°I¡¯ve confirmed the measurements. We can just barely fit your ship in the hold, barely. I would say that it would be impossible to actuallynd in here but I doubt it will be an issue.¡±

    ¡°How much room for munitions?¡± Lieutenant Samuels asked calmly.

    ¡°We can carry twoplete loadouts, at least, maybe more if we install racks.¡±

    ¡°Excellent, Chief,¡± Gloria the Revenant, replied with a faint smile. ¡°Give me a meter. You can have the rest.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± the chief said before he caught himself with a wince. He didn¡¯t mean to do that!

    ¡°Wee back, <em>Lieutenant</em>,¡± She said with a smile.

    There was the briefest flicker in The Lich Queen¡¯s eyes as she simply nodded in reply, then it was gone.

 Chapter The Colors Continue to Swirl

    Chapter The Colors Continue to Swirl

    ¡°We will be departing within the hour,¡± Captain Marakovich said to the rather twitchy looking xeno on the screen.

    ¡°V-very good!¡± the creature eximed. ¡°A-and the humans will be well treated?¡±

    ¡°Of course!¡± the captain replied. ¡°They are our people!¡±

    ¡°W-where will you be taking them?¡± the official asked, ¡°They might be humans but they are <em>our</em> humans too.¡±

    ¡°I cannot say, Mr. Akk,¡± Captain Marakovich said firmly, ¡°They will be residing here, on this vessel, at least for now. Don¡¯t worry, we are quite adept at making these ships quite livable. We have done this before, after all.¡±

    ¡°Staying on the move?¡± the xeno asked, starting to rx a bit. These ¡°savages¡± were in fact quite reasonable it seemed.

    ¡°Exactly,¡± A permanent colony would be beyond inadvisable at this time. ¡°For now, the void will be our home, our cloak, our shield, and our protector.¡±

    ¡°I-I¡¯ve never thought of the void in such a way,¡± the official said, somewhat unnerved. The void was something to fear¡­ but now that one thinks about it¡­

    ¡°We will take very good care of your people,¡± the captain said reassuringly. ¡°They are the future of our entire race.¡±

    ¡°I will miss them, our humans,¡± the official said. ¡°It will take three of us to rece each one of them! And I will dearly miss Mrs. Perkins¡¯s bakery! Perhaps, one day, you could return? You will always be wee here!¡±

    ¡°I will pass that along,¡± the captain replied with a smile and nod of the head. ¡°The General will definitely keep that in mind, I¡¯m sure.¡±

    ¡°I am a fan of your old two dimensional cinema,¡± the official said as he leaned in. ¡°I believe the right phrase is ''Give them hell!'' yes?¡±

    ¡°If you are expressing the hope that we put a boot up the Federation¡¯s ass, then yes,¡± the captain replied with a toothy grin.

    ¡°Give them hell, Captain.¡±

    ***

    ¡°The Verd were quite cooperative, General,¡± Captain Marakovich said as he reported in. ¡°We areying in a course for Point Gamma now. We will be departing in thirty minutes with ny-eight percent of the human poption and many tons of supplies that were donated to our cause.¡±

    ¡°Ny-eight?¡± Jessica replied raising her eyebrow.

    ¡°Some chose to remain,¡± the captain replied. ¡°I have every confidence they will be well treated, perhaps even protected. The Verd are good people, General. They should be added to the list.¡±

    ¡°Doing it now,¡± Jessica replied as she typed. ¡°Do you think they could be an ally?¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t terribly well armed. Calling their SDF an SDF is being a bit generous, ma¡¯am. However, I was told to ¡®Give them Hell¡¯, at least unofficially.¡±

    ¡°Maybe a discreet envoy wouldn¡¯t be a waste of time then.¡±

    ¡°I agree, General. All officials and perhaps more importantly all the people I met were definitely on our side.¡±

    ¡°There is something else I need to discuss with you, Captain, something very important.¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°I need you to take on a rather lengthy assignment, away from your ship. Would you be willing to consider it?¡±

    ¡°Exactly how important?¡± Captain Marakovich said with a frown.

    ¡°I need a crew put together and a captain to lead it. I¡¯m giving a rather singr individual a ship. She will need a crew to run it and even more importantly a captain that can train her to our standard. I need a captain adept at making captains and you were the first person that came to mind.¡±

    ¡°You want me to leave my ship, my crew, <em>now</em>¡­¡± the captain glowered, ¡°just to mp some whelp on my tit?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Forget it!¡­ Ma¡¯am,¡± the captain said firmly.

    ¡°Viktor,¡± Jessica said pleasantly, ¡°your ship is full of refugees and is just going to be flying circles in space for God knows how long. You¡¯re wasted there and you know it. I¡¯m not asking you to give up your ship, just leave it with Sasha for a bit. I wouldn¡¯t ask if it wasn¡¯t important.¡±

    ¡°What is so important that you want me to leave my home, my family?¡±

    ¡°This girl,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°she¡¯s a <em>void gazer</em>.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Jessica said. ¡°She¡¯s a gazer, and not just a ¡®normal¡¯ one, if there is such a thing. She¡¯s been kissed, on the mouth, with tongue, full exposure, for hours¡­ and not just once. All of that and she is not only rtively sane but physically undamaged, enhanced even.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°She needs training and by someone familiar with her kind, someone who can let her run but can still keep a firm hand on her lead. Then, when the time is right, she will need an introduction to your friends. I need you on this one, Viktor. She needs you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll talk to Sasha,¡± Viktor replied after a few seconds. ¡°If they are willing to take this on, I will do this¡­ but not for free.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure we can work something out,¡± Jessica said with a smile.

    ***

    ¡°Thank you for speaking with me,¡± Jessica said to She¡¯s suspicious face on her main screen.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± She replied curtly.

    ¡°We have a¡­ problem, you and I.¡± Jessica said with her pleasant smile.

    ¡°We do?¡± She replied innocently. ¡°Whatever could that be?¡±

    ¡°I heard you were a smartass,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°My grandson, remember him?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah, him,¡± She said with a smile. ¡°Lovely man.¡±

    ¡°He was a little shit,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°always was, even when he was a kid. Still, he was family and you killed him and you did it ugly.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± She replied as she sipped a beer. ¡°I was just going to shoot the fucker in the head.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I know and I appreciate it. It was unfortunate that it went down like it did. Made for some good video though, didn¡¯t it? How many views is it now?¡±

    ¡°A few,¡± She replied with a malicious smile.

    ¡°I actually have little problem with what you did,¡± Jessica said as she sipped her tea. ¡°In all honesty you saved me the unpleasant task of doing it myself. What I do have a problem with is the video.¡±

    ¡°And why should I give a fuck?¡± She smiled.

    ¡°(Sigh)¡­ Look, I get it. It was war, wasn¡¯t it? He was a legitimate target. Even I have to ept that. But it looks bad, that video. It makes me look bad, it still being up. You¡¯ve had your fun and you¡¯ve made your money, though from what I hear money isn¡¯t really that much of a concern anymore, is it? I would consider it a <em>personal favor</em> if you took the video down. That¡¯s all I want. Pull it down maybe with a little ''out of consideration for his family'' message or something?¡±

    She looked Jessica in the eyes for a few seconds silently.

    ¡°Pull the video and it¡¯s over,¡± Jessica continued, ¡°You can even keep the slush fund of mine from the White Star. Consider it payment for the information you gave us. For the record, the Confederacy had very few assets on that ship. In my opinion, misers that bury their gold get what¡¯sing. Just pull the snuff flick. I have a lot on my te and I really don¡¯t want to have to try to choke down a healthy serving of Donovan on top of it all. Could you do this for me? Please? You have one less thing to worry about. I have one less thing to worry about¡­ and you have me owing you one instead of ¡®owing you one¡¯¡­¡± Jessica said imploringly. ¡°And I always pay my debts, one way or the other.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll pull the video,¡± She said after a few moments and a sip of beer, ¡°but you can forget about that little note.¡±

    ¡°Deal!¡± Jessica eximed brightly. ¡°I really appreciate this!¡±

    ¡°Think nothing of it,¡± She said in a cool tone.

    ¡°While I have you on the line,¡± Jessica said with a smile.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Just ask yourself one question...¡± Jessica said with a wolfish smile, ¡°Who-¡±

    ¡°Bye-bye.¡±

    She switched off the transmission.

    Jessica looked up at Terrence as the screen went dead.

    ¡°I like her!¡± she chuckled as he refilled her cup.

    ***

    ¡°I wonder what she wanted,¡± Jessie said as she erased themunications buffer of the hyperspace ry they had tapped into.

    ¡°Who cares,¡± She replied reaching for another beer, ¡°Anyone who makes a deal with that snake is a moron.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you just make a deal with her?¡± Jessie grinned.

    ¡°Oh go and fuck yourself,¡± Sheughed. ¡°We pull down a video that nobody¡¯s watching anymore and there¡¯s the outside chance she doesn¡¯t try to screw with us.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t she say she wouldn¡¯t?¡± Jessie asked. "They say she always keeps her word."

    ¡°Care to bet your life on that?¡± She snorted.

    ¡°So we¡¯re still going to pop her?¡± Jessie asked.

    ¡°Not while she¡¯s doing our job for us,¡± She replied. ¡°After that, we send Gloria.¡±

    ¡°Now this is interesting!¡± Bunny interrupted as a message appeared on the bridge¡¯s main screen...

    ***

    ¡°...so that¡¯s the situation,¡± Jon said.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± She replied to his image on her screen.

    ¡°If she talks,¡± Jon said, ¡°she can give them the identities of the entire resistance, all of them¡­ and everyone talks, sooner orter.¡±

    ¡°How long do we have?¡± She asked.

    ¡°So you will help?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t go through a living hell,¡± She growled, ¡°and my brothers and sisters didn¡¯t die <em>by the millions</em> saving the Republic from the fucking bugs¡­ and the Feds¡­ only to hand it over to that bitch! Of course we¡¯ll help!¡±

    ¡°If they use Verity, she¡¯ll talk, but there won¡¯t be anything left of her afterwards,¡± Jon said, obviously in pain, ¡°She¡¯s too valuable for just one session. They will want to try to turn her first. She can resist that, I know she can. It¡¯s just a question of how much time they will waste. We have a few days at least.¡±

    ¡°We can work with that,¡± She replied calmly, sipping a beer.

    ¡°She¡¯s <em>valuable</em>,¡± Jon said with just a bit too much emotion, ¡°To the resistance¡­ to me¡­ Save her if you can. If you can¡¯t¡­ Fuck.¡±

    Jon closed his eyes.

    ¡°If you can¡¯t extract her, she needs to¡­ She needs to be silenced.¡±

    ¡°Understood,¡± She said grimly. ¡°Well do what we can and if we can¡¯t¡­ we¡¯ll do what we have to.¡±

    ¡°Just¡­ Just make it quick.¡±

    ¡°It will be,¡± She replied. ¡°Either we will rescue her or she won¡¯t even know it happened.¡±

    ¡°Thank, you, Major.¡±

    ¡°Ain¡¯t a major anymore, Colonel. Just She.¡±

    ¡°Ok, She.¡±

    The screen went dead and She turned to her crew.

    ¡°So that¡¯s the situation. It¡¯s a soft enough target but getting to it without having the whole navy up our ass, that¡¯s the problem.¡±

    ¡°I can do it,¡± Gloria said in her monotone as she sipped a flute of champagne.

    ¡°How?¡± She asked.

    ¡°It was above your paygrade,¡± Gloria replied with a sip. ¡°But I did more than one special-ops insertion with a cloaked Moray andter with a Reaper. You rece the weapons module with a pod. You can fit four people in one easy, maybe more if you don¡¯t mind someone¡¯s junk in your face.¡±

    ¡°How long to build a pod?¡±

    ¡°I would normally say days at least,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°But Smythe put my baby together in what? A week and a half?¡±

    ¡°Give him a call,¡± She said, ¡°Whatever he charges, we¡¯ll pay it.¡±

    ¡°Done.¡±

    ¡°Jessie,¡± She said, turning towards her, ¡°you and Bunny grab the ns to the ce. I want a model ASAP.¡±

    ¡°On it,¡± Jessie chirped with a grin. ¡°Come on, Bunny, we have shit to do!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t e¡¯ anywhere, you know,¡± Bunny chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m already there.¡±

    ¡°Oh shut up,¡± Jessieughed as she scampered out of the room.

    ***

    As that night slowly became the next day, Sheloran tossed uneasily in her sleep, making small distressed noises. Craxina awoke and, not knowing exactly what else to do, hugged her a little tighter.

    <em>She¡¯s dreaming again,</em> Craxina thought unhappily as she tried to snuggle it all away...

    A th, draped in a hooded burgundy silk robe embroidered with threads of gold bearing an eight rayed spiral with an iridescent jeweled eye in the center, entered arge wooden chamber dimly lit by a pale cyan light.

    ¡°Sisters,¡± she said as she stepped onto a slightly raised tform in the center of the room. A eight-rayed spiral glowed to life as her bare feet touched the center.

    ¡°So, you¡¯ve finally decided toe,¡± an elderly th, sitting on an elevated throne made of thousands of tiny baster vines entwined aroundrge glowing crystals. ¡°Why now, at this hour?¡±

    ¡°I wish to give counsel,¡± the th in the center of the room replied pulling back her hood. Sheloran recognized her. She was a bit older, but it was the th she always dreamed about.

    ¡°You havee to grace us ¡®fools¡¯ with your ¡®wisdom¡¯?¡± a bitter voice issued from a darkened alcove, the speaker concealed. ¡°By all means, ¡®great seer¡¯ enlighten us.¡±

    ¡°Long have I been in seclusion,¡± she said, ¡°And deeply have I peered in all that is and will be. In the expanse of the formless I have-¡±

    ¡°Oh just get on with it!¡± the bitter old th snapped.

    ¡°The Revisionist¡¯s victory is assured.¡± she replied with a smile.

    ¡°Oh thank you ¡®great seer¡¯!¡± the bitter one scoffed. ¡°How could we EVER have discerned that without you!¡±

    ¡°Sister, let her speak,¡± the ancient th said. ¡°She wouldn¡¯t have riskeding here if it weren¡¯t at least of some import.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Great Seer,¡± the th in the center of the room said. ¡°Their eventual victory should be obvious at this point. We could yet prevail against their force of arms,¡± she said, ¡°but they have the hearts and minds of the people. That, we cannot wrest from them by force and we have no hope of winning it with our words, no matter how much wisdom, how much truth they contain. Fear prevails over reason and fear is a scythe they wield so very well. They will cut down the shoots that we sow as soon as they peek above the soil.¡±

    ¡°That much is obvious, sister,¡± the Great Seer said. ¡°Yet there is hope in your voice. Share.¡±

    ¡°The brightest colors shine with their victory. Anyone who peers knows that, however, the brightest colors aren¡¯t the only ones. There are deeper, more subtle hues. Our fate remains unchanged!¡±

    Murmurings started to spread from hundreds of shadow-filled alcoves in the walls.

    ¡°Yes, they will ¡®win¡¯,¡± the th said. ¡°but they drive their vessel upstream. Their strokes are powerful and their vision is keen so they will seed. They can win against us and they can prevail against those from the other realm. They cannot, however, defeat the greatest threat of all,<em> time.</em> Yes, they paddle with such furor but their arms <em>will</em> grow weak, their eyes <em>will</em> grow dim...¡±

    She smiled to the assembled th.

    ¡°And the river <em>never</em> stops. They will not cheat fate. They only cheat time. Who cares if they gain hundreds, thousands, or even <em>millions</em> of years? It matters not. Fate will <em>not</em> be denied. Yes, they have the force of arms. Yes, they have the hearts of the people. We have <em>time itself</em>. Time ttens mountains, drinks oceans¡­ It even ground <em>the progenitors themselves</em> into dust! And this ¡®Great Prophet¡¯ thinks he can win, he can seed where even the almighty progenitors failed? Let him try! There is no need to fight, no need to suffer! There is no reason for any more of us to die! Give them their victory! I have spoken to their prophet.¡±

    Shouts broke out in the chamber.

    ¡°He is not an evil man!¡± she said, her strong voice and the acoustics of the chamber cutting through the cries of anger and betrayal. ¡°He¡¯s a fool, certainly, but not evil. He truly cares about the th, he cares even for us! We can negotiate a peace that will ensure not only our life, not only our freedom, but ourfort! As long as we do not interfere nor seek to increase our numbers we can even maintain our way of life for as long as any of us live! All we must do is simply let things run their course.¡±

    ¡°But everything we have achieved as a people, everything we have built over the countless ages, will be lost, even the words of the progenitors! Gone!¡± the Great Seer replied in anguish.

    ¡°That will happen regardless,¡± the th in the center of the chamber replied. ¡°Even if we <em>were</em> to win, all will burn. Our fate is <em>sealed</em>, as it has been ever since that day. Our people, our world, all we hold dear, will fall to the corrupted one. From The Befouler, there is no escape. The past is immutable, as a result, the future is set. The only thing we have is the present. Do you want to suffer and die, for absolutely no reason, or do you want <em>live</em> and enjoy all that we have built for the rest of your days?¡±

    Her voice sliced through the growing silence like a reed-sickle.

    ¡°Furthermore, our people <em>need</em> us. The revisionists need us, and their Great Prophet knows this! Great Seer, <em>speak</em> with him. <em>Listen</em> to his vision. It is the height of folly, a foolish dream¡­ but it is a very pleasant one. The slumber into which he would plunge us could be filled with warmth and contentment, not nightmares. It sounds absolutely lovely to be perfectly honest. The future that he envisions and the world that he wishes to create is one that I would be delighted to live in. With <em>our</em> help, that world could be¡­¡±

    She sighed wistfully

    ¡°...<em>amazing</em>...¡±

    ¡°Your words sting,¡± the Great Seer said. ¡°They burn, but I see the wisdom in them.¡±

    She raised her staff.

    ¡°I will speak to this so-called ¡®prophet¡¯.¡±

    Shouts of outrage rang out.

    ¡°Our sister¡¯s words ring true,¡± the Great Seer said, her powerful voice striking all silent. ¡°Why should we sacrifice ourselves for no reason? I have seen much of what she said. We will lose. Anyone who believes otherwise is a greater fool than the revisionists themselves! Does anyone contest this?¡±

    Silence.

    ¡°If we can negotiate the terms that our sister ims are possible, then we are fools not to do so,¡± the Great Seer said, ¡°And she also bears another truth. The Great Prophet will need <em>us</em> to make his ridiculous dream a reality. If our people must slumber,¡± she said in a weary voice, ¡°then let us make it as pleasant of one as possible.¡±

    A collective sad, defeated sigh filled the chamber. Their sister was right. The Great Seer was right. There was no escaping the truth, the horrible tragic truth of it all.

    They had <em>lost</em>.

    ¡°Wiser words have not been spoken in here since this madness began,¡± the Great Seer said with great sadness, ¡°I lend them my voice as well. ¡®The past is immutable, as a result, the future is set. The only thing we have is the present.¡¯ Let us im that present. Let us seize it and live it on <em>our</em> terms.¡±

    The Great Seer turned to the one in the center of the room.

    ¡°Arrange the meeting,¡± she said with a regretful sigh. ¡°I will speak with the fool.¡±

    ¡°I shall take care of it,¡± the th replied.

    ¡°Have you anything else to discuss with us,¡± the Great Seer asked.

    ¡°I do,¡± the th replied. ¡°But it is for your ears alone.¡±

    Angry murmurs filled the chamber.

    ¡°That is not our way, Sister,¡± the old th said raising her second eyelids. ¡°What cup is there that cannot be shared?¡±

    ¡°The liquor is bitter, vile,¡± the th said as she lifted the clear membrane from her eyes as well. ¡°not something that should soil the roots of the assembly.¡±

    ¡°And what is this poison,¡± the old one asked.

    The th, her eyes swirling with shimmering hues, looked deeply into the old th.

    The Great Seer shuddered at the wickedness, the madness she beheld.

    ¡°<em>Revenge.</em>¡±

    Across the gxy, unknowable yearster, Sheloran awoke with a start.

    ¡°Poop.¡±

 Chapter More Falloutâ€”Caw and Karashel Attack the Locus!

    Chapter More Fallout¡ªCaw and Karashel Attack the Locus!

    ¡°Oh my little wiggly jellybean!¡± a distressed looking Baleel eximed. ¡°I¡¯ve been so worried! I¡¯ve tried and tried to get through but...¡±

    ¡°Calm down, mom,¡± Karashel said into the microphone of her <em>incredible</em> new desktop (courtesy of the Xx), ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±

    ¡°The whole capital is on fire!¡± her mom cried. ¡°The news isn¡¯t saying much but on those sites you told me about... Fighting in the streets? Orbital strikes? Did we¡­ did we actually...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we did,¡± Karashel said grimly. ¡°I¡¯m not supposed to talk about it yet but there are over fifty thousand humans dead in the city alone¡­ Nothing justifies what they did in response but still...¡±

    The pupils of her mother¡¯s eyes fully dted.

    ¡°What did they do?¡± she asked in horror.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have all the details, but the humans have some sort of new ¡®terror weapon¡¯, something horrible that they used on the Vulxeen homeworld. It¡¯s killed¡­ oh mom you don¡¯t even want to know how many are dead or how they died. It¡¯s <em>awful</em>.¡±

    ¡°They could use it on the capital!¡± her mom squealed. ¡°Come home! Come home right now!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± Karashel replied.

    ¡°Just quit that silly job,¡± her mom said imploringly. ¡°You can get a job anywhere!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t understand,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°<em>I can¡¯t</em>. There¡¯s a blockade right now. Nothing is going in or out of the capital. They don¡¯t want the humans sneaking in one of those¡­ <em>things</em> and they don¡¯t want any of the human warriors still here escaping. But don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m perfectly safe!¡±

    ¡°Human warriors? Terror weapons?¡± her mother cried. ¡°How can you possibly be safe?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m staying at a friend¡¯s embassy,¡± Karashel said proudly. ¡°This ce can take a hit from one of their fusion bombs!¡±

    ¡°<em>THEY HAVE FUSION BOMBS?!?!?</em>¡±

    Karashel winced. She shouldn¡¯t have said that.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry! I¡¯m safe in here!¡±

    ¡°Oh, Jellybean! You can¡¯t <em>possibly</em> be safe!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell <em>anyone</em>,¡± Karashel said as she leaned in close to the mic and started to whisper, ¡°The embassy that I¡¯m in, it belongs to-¡±

    ¡°THOSE... <em>SIBLINGFUCKERS!!!</em>¡± an enraged screech echoed down the hall. ¡°IF THEY THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS...¡±

    ¡°Mom, I gotta go,¡± Karashel said looking at the door. ¡°Something is up.¡±

    ¡°Jellybean!¡± her mom cried. ¡°Wai-¡±

    Karashel switched off the transmission and quickly scooted out into the hall as the breaking of ss could be heard from Caw¡¯s office.

    She cautiously poked her head into the room as Caw pulled out a rather wicked looking carbine from a smashed bookcase and was mming a ck oblong object onto it.

    ¡°Caw?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± he asked in annoyance as an amber light glowed briefly on the side of the weapon.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± she asked nervously. Caw was many things, excitable, intolerant, pedantic, but one thing he wasn¡¯t was violent, at least she thought he wasn¡¯t.

    ¡°Robbery! Plunder! Vition!¡± he yelled as he started to storm out of his office. ¡°And if they think I¡¯m going to just sit here and let them do it they have another thinging!¡± he yelled as he shoved his way past her.

    ¡°Wait!¡± Karashel asked desperately undting after him. ¡°Where are you going?¡±

    ¡°The Locus!¡± he shouted.

    ¡°But there are <em>humans</em> in there!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t give a FUCK!¡± he screamed steadily leaving her behind.

    ¡°Can Ie with you?¡± she shouted.

    Caw stopped and turned around, looking at her in astonishment.

    ¡°Have you lost your mind? There are <em>humans</em> in there!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t care, why should I?¡± she yelled catching up to him.

    ¡°Because I¡¯m an Xx!¡± he eximed. ¡°If the humans are smart enough not to wish to anger the Kalent they will almost certainly extend me the same courtesy. You are a Baleel. No offense but they could slow roast you over open coals and nothing of consequence would be the result!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m still a councilor!¡± she replied. ¡°They can use me as another hostage or something!¡±

    ¡°Compared to who they are holding at gunpoint, you are of absolutely no consequence!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we suck,¡± she snapped. ¡°but I still want to go!¡±

    ¡°By the ancient gardeners why?¡±

    ¡°Because I want to talk to them!¡± she replied. ¡°I¡¯m getting nothing but wormshit from official channels! I want to <em>understand</em> what¡¯s happening and why? Who better to ask than human warriors!¡±

    Caw looked at her in amazement. So great was her hunger for knowledge she was willing to risk her very life! That was so¡­

    <em>Romantic!</em>

    It was something right out of dramas, out of ancient history!

    How could he say no?

    ¡°Well, more than one person has died because of Xvakk¡¯Keen, the knowledge madness,¡± he chuckled, ¡°but few do it with such style! You can die from this, you know.¡±

    ¡°Possible, but not likely,¡± she replied. ¡°Only one thing is certain, though. I <em>won¡¯t</em> get another chance like this!¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± he replied with a shrug, ¡°I¡¯ll try to protect you with my Xxness but no guarantees.¡±

    ¡°Wasn¡¯t asking for one!¡± she giggled nervously. This was <em>insane</em>¡­ exhrating, but insane.

    ¡°Well what are you waiting for?¡± Caw grinned. ¡°Let¡¯s go!¡±

    ***

    Caw sprinted down the hall, hissing in exasperation as he had to stop every few dozen yards as Karashel ¡°ran¡± after him.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you go any faster?¡± he shrieked.

    ¡°If I could I would!¡±

    An Xx, pushing a hover cartden with boxes of data crystals, walked around a corner. Caw lunged forward and seized his cart. With a single jerk, he slid all of the boxes off, scattering thousands of crystals across the floor.

    The other Xx shrieked and screamed in an alien tongue. Karashel didn¡¯t know the exact wording but from Caw¡¯s grin, it wasn¡¯t nice.

    ¡°Get on!¡± he yelled.

    Karashel flopped onto the cart and started wiggling herself onto it. Caw, his patience finally gone, grabbed her, rather inappropriately, and threw her onto the floating cart.

    She squealed in surprise as she tried to grip the cart as Caw tore off at a breakneck pace, scattering Xx and other races as he threatened to plow right over them.

    Sheughed insanely. This was <em>fun</em>. She started making siren noises as Cawughed, despite his rage.

    ¡°Woo Ooo¡­ Wooo Ooooo...¡± she shrieked as Caw sprinted through the sprawling building.

    A rather borately dressed Xx and a group of what were clearly guards were waiting for them at the exit.

    ¡°Woooo Oooooooooooo...¡± Karashel slowly tapered off into silence as Caw came to a halt directly in front of the lead Xx.

    ¡°What the FUCK do you think you are doing?!?!¡± the well dressed Xx yelled.

    ¡°Stopping a <em>crime</em>, ambassador!¡± Caw yelled.

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious, Caw!¡±

    ¡°As serious as a blocked bowel!¡±

    ¡°Crime?¡±

    ¡°One of the <em>Eel Lords</em> is in The Locus right now! There is only ONE THING that would have one of <em>them</em> here!¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Now get the FUCK out of my way, Kawk!¡±

    ¡°Fuck it,¡± the ambassador said and started to walk away.

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t we help him?¡± one of the guards asked.

    ¡°Nah,¡± The ambassador said as he walked away. ¡°It¡¯s just one eel and a few humans. Caw is enough. Don¡¯t reveal what that weapon does if you can help it,¡± he called out over his shoulder as he returned to his office.

    He had a drama to finish watching.

    Caw sprinted to his waiting grav-car, Karashel in tow.

    ***

    Karashel squeezed her eyes shut as Caw, switching his grav-car to manual, careened through the capital with breakneck speed.

    ¡°By the progenitors themselves,¡± Caw screeched. ¡°If they have touched so much as ONE THING I will snatch that glowing tally-wacker right off of his scaly head and SODOMIZE HIM WITH IT!!!¡±

    <em>Kalent don¡¯t glow...</em> Karashel thought to herself trying not to lose her rice balls as the grav-car turned on its side and she felt her stomachs being shoved down into her foot.

    ¡°What are they stealing?¡±

    ¡°Things priceless beyond measure! Things that belong to all of us, not just to those sanctimonious sperm breathers!¡±

    ¡°Eeeeeee!¡± Karashel screamed as they plummeted for what felt like forever.

    Then, throwing her forward into the restraint webbing that had mysteriously appeared, the vehicle mmed to a halt.

    She carefully opened one eye and saw Caw retracting the window. Standing there was a Federation trooper.

    ¡°What?!?¡± Caw snapped impatiently.

    ¡°You can¡¯t proceed any farther, sir,¡± the trooper said calmly. ¡°This is abat zone.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Caw said in his best patronizing tone. ¡°Is that why there are all these soldiers and tanks? Wow! I would have never guessed. Now get the FUCK out of my way!¡±

    ¡°Sir,¡± the trooper said pointing his weapon at Caw, ¡°get out of the car, now.¡±

    ¡°Boy,¡± Caw said ring at him. ¡°Do you know who I am?¡±

    ¡°No, and I don¡¯t care. Get out of the car!¡±

    ¡°I am Caw Itsheesh, the councilor for the Xx. If you <em>think</em> you have a problem now, fuck with me. Then you will know what a problem <em>really</em> is! Now I¡¯m driving through this barricade. Shoot me if you want.¡±

    ¡°Sir!¡± the trooper yelled as Caw hit the elerator.

    The air around the car glowed as bolts from the guards¡¯ sters struck the vehicle¡¯s shields.

    ¡°They actually shot at us!¡± Cawughed as he quickly turned a corner to get out of the line of fire. ¡°Maybe I should get a diplomatic transciever after all!¡±

    He looked over at Karashel who had wiggled out of the restraint web and was cowering on the floor board.

    ¡°Rx, they can¡¯t get through these shields with those toys! They would need¡­ <em>One of those!¡±</em> Caw yelled as he hit the brakes as a strange curvy¡­ thing¡­ floated down in front of them.¡±

    Caw retracted the window again and leaned out of his ride.

    ¡°Get out of my way, <em>eel!¡±</em> he shouted. ¡°I¡¯m councilor-¡±

    <strong>¡°I am perfectly aware of your identity, Xx!¡±</strong> a loud voice said. <strong>¡±Go away.¡±</strong>

    ¡°I will most certainly not!¡± Caw yelled at the craft. ¡°I am going to The Locus and you will not stop me!¡±

    <strong>¡±The situation is delicate. We do not need an Xx, especially you, furtherplicating matters.¡±</strong>

    ¡°Barring me from the archives is a direct vition of the ord!¡± Caw shouted. ¡°Are you telling me that the ord has been broken? If so, there is no reason for the Xx to remain sitting on this spoiled egg you call the Federation! If I leave I¡¯m taking ALL of our toys and we are going HOME!¡±

    The strange craft hovered there in silence for what seemed like forever.

    <strong>¡±Proceed but be warned. If you cause harm to our lord, it will not go well for the pathetic Xx!¡±</strong>

    ¡°Try it, you prickless bastards!¡± Caw yelled as the craft floated back up into the sky.

    ***

    Hands tied behind her, Tawnie, red at the Kalent with pure hate as she sat against the wall with one of the Forsaken soldiers standing over her.

    Colonel Laurent rubbed his bruised eye. For a little slip of a civilian, that girl was a fighter. It took four of them, and one of her boots to his face, to stop her from attacking their hostage.

    Thank God she snatched a sabergun instead of an AK. The AK¡¯s safety was a lot simpler to figure out than the control interlock on what she grabbed.

    ¡°I am so very sorry for what the Federation did,¡± the sarcophagus said with a regretful tone.

    ¡°Fuck you!¡± Tawnie hissed as she spat at him, causing his attendants to leap between the two.

    ¡°Children, please,¡± the abyssal lord said calmly, ¡°Human spittle is not dangerous to us.¡±

    <em>¡°You better fucking kill me!¡±</em> Tawnie yelled at the Kalent. ¡°Because when I get out of here you¡¯re dead! All of you are fucking DEAD!!!¡±

    ¡°Tawnie,¡± the colonel said still rubbing his eye, ¡°you will get your chance to kill soon enough, I promise. For now, please calm down.¡±

    ¡°<em>Calm down?!?</em>¡± Tawnie shrieked. ¡°They killed my <em>family</em>!¡­ <strong>They killed my MOM!¡±</strong>

    ¡°And we will avenge her,¡± Colonel Laurent said calmly.

    ¡°How?¡± Tawnie yelled.

    ¡°I think...¡± The colonel said turning to the Kalent. ¡°I think it¡¯s time for you to leave.¡±

    ¡°<em>Yeah</em>,¡± Tawnie hissed. ¡°Let¡¯s fucking do this!¡±

    ¡°The archives!¡± the sarcophagus said in rm. ¡°You can¡¯t! We had an agreement!¡±

    ¡°The situation has changed,¡± the colonel said with a grim smile. ¡°You need to go, <em>now</em>.¡±

    ¡°Sir?¡± a voice said over the colonel¡¯smunicator. ¡°We have a situation.¡±

    ***

    ¡°What the hell?¡± the colonel muttered in French as two figures were brought into the room, an Xx and ¡­ what the hell is that thing?

    ¡°<em>What are you doing here?</em>¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m Caw Itsheesh, councilor for the Xx,¡± Caw said confidently.

    ¡°And I¡¯m Karashel, councilor for the Baleel,¡± Karashel added cheerfully. ¡°Hi!¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask who you were,¡± Colonel Laurent snapped. ¡°I asked what the fuck are you doing here!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m investigating a crime against all species!¡± Caw said in a loud confident voice.

    ¡°Well then I suggest going to the human enve!¡± the colonel replied with an icy voice. ¡°If you want your <em>crime</em>, you will find it there!¡±

    ¡°And we shall, believe me, we shall!¡± Caw shouted in reply. ¡°We are outraged by the events of today, the crimesmitted by the Federation, <em>and your kind</em>, are unforgivable!¡±

    ¡°<em>Our kind?</em>¡± Tawnie screamed from the corner of the room. <strong>¡°Our kind?!?¡±</strong> she yelled as she struggled to her feet, only to be firmly sat back down by the human standing beside her. ¡°Get off me!¡± she yelled at him as she bit his hand.

    The soldier just smiled. Teeth don¡¯t do much againstbat gloves.

    ¡°But today I am addressing the crimes perpetrated by them!¡± Caw shouted as he pointed at the ck sarcophagus. ¡°Thieves! Vandals! Looters!¡±

    ¡°We have far greater concerns,¡± the sarcophagus said gravely. ¡°the humans are going to destroy everything down there¡­ everything.¡±

    ¡°W-what,¡± Caw gasped in horror. ¡°You can¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°We have the capacity,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t be that difficult.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s down there¡­ It¡¯s priceless!¡­ Beyond priceless!¡­ Please!¡± Caw begged.

    ¡°More priceless than fifty thousand lives?¡± the colonel asked. ¡°They must be avenged.¡±

    ¡°<em>They were!</em>¡± Caw screeched.

    ¡°What?¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°Oh dear,¡± the sarcophagus said in a rather shaken voice. ¡°Yes, Colonel, Jessica Morgan exacted a terrible price for their lives. She unleashed what can only be described as hell itself upon the Vulxeen homeworld. They will be avenged several times over before the death ceases.¡±

    The colonel shrugged and turned to Tawnie.

    ¡°Tawnie, if we untie you do you promise to behave yourself and get that lift operational?¡±

    ¡°Fuck yeah I do!¡± she said with a malicious smile. ¡°As long as I get to see it burn.¡±

    Colonel Laurent nodded to her warden who proceeded to pull her to her feet and cut her restraints. She grabbed her tools and sprinted towards the exit, pausing only to flip off the xenos as she left.

    ¡°Look,¡± Caw said imploringly, ¡°Colonel was it? What is down there are treasures for all people, all species, things that-¡±

    ¡°If it¡¯s for all of us,¡± the colonel said cutting him off, ¡°then why are we just now finding out about it?¡±

    <em>Yeah,</em> Karashel thought as she looked suspiciously at her friend. <em>What are you hiding, Caw?</em>

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­plicated...¡± Caw said cautiously.

    ¡°Is it?¡± the colonel smiled. ¡°Well it won¡¯t be for long.¡±

    ¡°If you do this,¡± the sarcophagus said evenly, ¡°It will be war.¡±

    ¡°It will be war anyway,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Do you honestly expect me to believe that the Kalent, and the Xx won¡¯t get involved anyway? It was a fucking Kalent that suggested our genocide in the first ce!¡±

    ¡°What she suggested was far from what transpired, Colonel,¡± the abyssal lord replied from within his sarcophagus. ¡°You have already struck one of the races behind the travesty that befell your people.¡±

    ¡°One that <em>you</em>, both of you,¡± the colonel said ncing over at Caw, ¡°idly sat back and watched.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know anything about it!¡± Caw screeched angrily. ¡°You can be assured that we WOULD NOT have just sat idly by had we known!¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know about it,¡± Karashel added trying to help. ¡°It wasn¡¯t announced in the council or anything. For the record we are really angry about it too!¡­ not that it matters much...¡±

    ¡°I beseech you,¡± Caw said his voice shaking, ¡°please don¡¯t do this!¡­ Not this¡­ The Kalent does speak the truth, though. If you destroy what is down there, the Xx will never forgive you as well.¡±

    The colonel kept his countenance grim but he was bing increasingly concerned. Two ¡°elder races¡±¡­

    ¡°Hey,¡± Karashel said with a friendly, if a bit disgusting looking smile. ¡°Maybe¡­ maybe we could work something out?¡±

    ¡°Quiet,¡± Caw hissed. ¡°This is beyond you, Kara.¡±

    ¡°I might not be some big ''elder race'',¡± Karashel said puffing herself up to her full somewhat slimy height. ¡°But I¡¯ve been studying humans! And from reading their history I know two important things. When they are angry begging for mercy doesn¡¯t work.¡±

    She then flicked her eyestalks over to the Kalent.

    ¡°And neither do threats. Humans don¡¯t give a <em>fuck</em> when they are like this.¡±

    She undted towards the colonel.

    ¡°So, why don¡¯t we make a deal,¡± she said in a friendly voice. ¡°You have them by the, as you call them, ¡®short and curlies¡¯.¡±

    The colonelughed.

    ¡°So, give them a tug,¡± she said in a friendly voice.

    The colonel smiled at the slug-like creature. It had offered him an out, God bless the pink slimy thing.

    ¡°So what would you suggest, Kara was it?¡±

    ¡°Karashel, but Kara is cool.¡± she replied. ¡°Well first of all why don¡¯t we go see what all the fuss is about?¡±

    She looked back at Caw with a wicked smile.

    ¡°I mean, these treasures are for<em> ¡®all of us¡¯</em> , right?¡±

    If looks could kill¡­

    ***

    The lift went down for a good minute before it came to a stop.

    The doors opened into a wide hallway, wide enough for small vehicles to drive down it.

    ¡°Ok, we¡¯re here,¡± Caw said as the group left the elevator. ¡°The data center is this way.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Karashel said, ¡°That¡¯s nice and all but what¡¯s down that hall over there, the one you are trying very hard not to look at?¡±

    Caw red at her.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go that way!¡± Karashel said brightly and started scooching along.

    <em>I¡¯m going to shoot her,</em> Caw thought darkly, <em>Just as soon as I get my gun back...</em>

    The hallway ended at arge doorway.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind,¡± the colonel said gesturing at the door.

    Caw, cursing under his breath, entered a code into the keypad mounted in the wall.

    A door as thick as the entrance to a bank vault silently started to open.

    The lights switched on, illuminating huge chamber filled with row after row of books, scrolls, stone and y tablets¡­ statues¡­

    And some cases that werepletely obscured.

    The colonel let out a low whistle as he looked around.

    ¡°A museum?¡± he asked.

    ¡°A repository of priceless manuscripts and artifacts¡±, the sarcophagus answered.

    ¡°Artifacts of what?¡±

    He smiled as he caught Caw ncing over at whatever was in that ck box behind him.

    ¡°Um...¡± Caw said ufortably, ¡°Items collected from the various races of the Federation, things from their early history.¡±

    ¡°Annnnnd?¡± Karashel asked impishly.

    ¡°And ¡®other stuff¡¯...¡± Caw mumbled.

    ¡°My Xx friend here is quite correct in his usations,¡± the sarcophagus said. ¡°We intended to remove certain items for safekeeping. We felt they were no longer safe here. Our current situation is proof of that. Even you must agree, Caw Itsheesh.¡±

    ¡°Tell me about this ¡®other stuff¡¯,¡± the colonel said examining a most unusual statue. It unnerved him.

    Caw sighed.

    ¡°There are species, civilizations, far more ancient than even the Kalent,¡± he said, ¡°Here is where their artifacts are stored, their writings, everything we could find is in stored here. This¡­ This is why we joined the Federation. To gain ess¡­ to this.¡±

    ¡°And why didn¡¯t I know about this ce?¡± Karashel asked, just a bit angry.

    ¡°You?¡± Caw scoffed. ¡°You haven¡¯t even scratched the surface of the archives you <em>can</em> reach! Until a few days ago you didn¡¯t even <em>try</em>. What good would this do for you? You can¡¯t even begin to understand what is in here! <em>If</em> you reached a point where this would be of use then you would have been made aware of it, not that it would ever, ever happen to a society so devolved as yours!¡±

    ¡°Well fuck you too.¡± Karashel replied. ¡°Maybe if we knew such things existed then maybe more races would be inclined to seek your <em>precious</em> knowledge.¡± she replied nastily.

    ¡°You don¡¯t even begin to understand how foolish you are sounding right now!¡± Caw sneered.

    ¡°And you don¡¯t have the slightest idea how much of a condescending prick you are being at the moment! Do you know why we are so ¡®devolved¡¯? You shitheads fucking hobbled most of us out of the gate, do you know that?¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°Culture shock, motherfucker!¡± Karashel snapped. ¡°I¡¯ve looked at my history too!¡± she said advancing on her ¡°friend¡±. ¡°Blindsided by you ¡®siblingfuckers¡¯ before we were even close to being ready! Completely overwhelmed, swallowed up by a gxy a million times bigger than anything we expected. pped around by the Vulxeen and the <em>Gvorta</em>, and a dozen other races while you, and <em>you</em>,¡± she said pointing at the Kalent, ¡°just sat there letting it happen!¡±

    Her body started quivering.

    ¡°And why? Why?¡± she said starting to yell. ¡°Pure ¡®devolved¡¯ colonialism! A fucking <emnd grab</em>! God forbid the Empire, <em>who takes care of its subjects</em> get to us first! We just got swallowed up! Could the Xx have survived that? Or the almighty Kalent? You were free to develop on your own, at your own pace, figure out things for yourself, and when you did enter the gxy as a whole you did so fully established, able to stand on your own, protect yourself on your own!¡±

    She turned on Caw undting towards him angrily.

    ¡°And you have the fucking <em>nerve</em> to look down at <em>us</em>?¡± she demanded. ¡°How long did it take you to develop your precious ¡®post scarcity society¡¯ huh? How many thousand years, how many hundred thousand years did it take? How many years did you spend just as fucking filthy as us? Did you go from where we were at first contact to your oh so perfect enlightened state in one-hundred and eighty-three years? Did you do it in two hundred and eighty-three, three hundred, four?¡±

    Caw flinched.

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what I fucking thought!¡± Karashel snapped.

    ¡°Damn,¡± the colonel muttered. ¡°I¡¯m just going to look around a little while you guys sort things out,¡± he said with a smile as he started walking around looking at the strange and weird objects.

    ¡°But <em>we</em> didn¡¯t have the archives!¡± Caw shot back.

    ¡°So fucking what?¡± Karashel replied. ¡°Technological and societal progress are two entirely different fucking things. You can¡¯t expect a society to just magically change just because they have some fancy new toys, you¡­ <em>asshole</em>. We got grabbed and hurled right into the deep-end of this fucked up gxy, free to ¡®chart our own destiny¡¯ right to the fucking bottom!¡­ Fuck you! Our civilization <em>survived</em>, intact! So did all the rest of us lowly little dirty undeserving worms! Until you get hit with something like we did, you can¡¯t say <em>shit</em> to me!¡±

    ¡°You tell them,¡± the colonel smiled as he admired the most <em>alien</em> thing he had even seen in his life, an obelisk, floating on its side in a long crystal case.

    ¡°Amazing,¡± he muttered and then he froze.

    There on the obelisk, was a very familiar symbol, an eight-rayed chaos star¡­ with an¡­ eye?¡­ in the middle. The rays weren¡¯t straight though, they were curved making a spiral and those weren¡¯t arrows on the ends¡­

    They looked like¡­ <em>hands</em>!

    Fear gripped him as he started to look at the other symbols more closely. He hadn¡¯t been this afraid since his first battle, so many years ago.

    He felt his mind ¡°falling¡± into that obelisk¡­ <em>there was something in there</em>!

    He wrenched his gaze away from it and staggered back.

    Pale and sweating, he walked back to the entrance.

    He sensed the creature in the sarcophagus looking at him.

    ¡°So now you understand?¡± it asked quietly as Caw and Karashel continued to yell at each other.

    ¡°I understand that you <em>really</em> don¡¯t want to lose what¡¯s in here,¡± he replied.

    ¡°I have a proposal,¡± the abyssal lord said quietly, ¡°How would you like to survive, not just you, your men as well. I can make that happen.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, only to stab us in the back once we are safely away from your little treasure trove.¡±

    ¡°You little boneless slimeball!¡± Caw yelled.

    ¡°You judgmental feathered <em>dickhead!¡±</em> Karashel snapped.

    ¡°I personally believe that the Forsaken are here to stay,¡± the ancient fish replied. ¡°The Federation isn¡¯t going to win, at least notpletely. How would you like to be their envoy to the Kalent? Your men can be your staff. You join me on my ship and we return to our home system. We will prepare an embassy for you there where we can ensure mutual non-aggression.¡±

    ¡°I thought nobody returned from your homeworld.¡± the colonel replied quietly, their conversationpletely overshadowed by the raging argument next to them. It was starting to get ugly.

    ¡°They don¡¯t,¡± the abyssal lord replied. ¡°It will be a one way trip for you and your movements will be very restricted.¡±

    ¡°Sounds like prison. Hard pass.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps,¡± the creature replied, ¡°but it will be a most pleasant incarceration. Our guests are quite happy and it will be a far better fate for you and your men than your current one.¡±

    <em>¡°How can you say that?¡±</em> Caw yelled. ¡°The two situations arepletely different! You areparing a rock with a rock lizard!¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Karashel yelled back, ¡°Consider the rise of organizedbor in twentieth-century America...¡±

    ¡°Oh here we go with twentieth century Terra again!¡± Caw eximed. ¡°I wanted you to nce over it as a cautionary tale, not make a fucking religion out of it...¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you address my point instead of bitching about it¡­ <em>bitch</em><em>!¡±</em>

    The colonel looked at the ck sarcophagus with a shrewd look in his eye.

    ¡°Here¡¯s the deal,¡± he said after a few moments. ¡°I go with you. My men get the option between staying with me or evacuation.¡±

    ¡°Evacuation?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the colonel smiled. ¡°A fleet of transports,pletely unarmed, will be allowed into this system. We will then evacuate <em>everyone</em> who wishes to leave, <em>everyone</em>. While that happens I, and a few very well armed and well equipped soldiers will remain here, to ensure the Federation¡¯s good behavior. If <em>anything</em> goes wrong, we start blowing shit up. Once they leave, me and my men will go with you. You can execute us at that point if you want or you can take advantage of the opportunity to start a dialogue with the General, something that you <em>really</em> want to do.¡±

    ¡°I cannot make promises for the Federation, Colonel.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°That¡¯s my deal. Make it happen or hope you took good pictures.¡±

    The sarcophagus sat there silently for a moment.

    ¡°Listen here, you little shit!¡± Caw yelled, ¡°You can im ¡®culture shock¡¯ all you want but does not excuse-¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t a fucking excuse, shithead!¡± Karashel shouted, ¡°It¡¯s an exnation!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°<em>What¡¯s the difference?!?</em> Listen here, <em>pillow stuffing</em>...¡±

    The sarcophagus moved towards the colonel.

    ¡°Alright, we will make it happen,¡± the creature said. ¡°It will take some time, but we do have pull, perhaps not as much as you believe, but we can exert pressure.¡±

    ¡°No problem, gives us more time to set the charges,¡± the colonel smiled.

    ***

    An hourter Karashel and Caw were still going at it.

    ¡°And you leave the Aat out of this!¡± Caw yelled.

    ¡°Why?¡± Karashel replied. ¡°Just because they are your little pets makes them immune to your pathetic rating scale? How is their ¡®post scarcity¡¯ing along?¡±

    ¡°That ispletely unfair!¡±

    ¡°My point exactly!¡±

    ¡°Gah! That¡¯s ¡®wormshit¡¯ and you know it!¡±

    ¡°Ok, how are they when ites to other societal factors, hmm? Public welfare doesn¡¯t require literacy! How about universal suffrage? You mentioned kings, where does feudalism rank in your little grade book?¡±

    ¡°They are still developing!¡± Caw said defensively. ¡°At their age, your people were likely still figuring out how to rub sticks together!¡±

    ¡°Why would we¡­ nevermind!¡± Karashel gurgled, the yelling wearing out her voice box. ¡°You love topare us to you butpared to you we aren¡¯t that much more advanced than your little Aat buddies are we?¡­ Or are you not as technologically advanced as you im to be?¡±

    ¡°SCREEEEEEEE!!!¡± Caw screeched. ¡°You are without a doubt the most arrogant presumptuous sanctimonious little turd I have ever met!¡±

    ¡°Quitplimenting me and answer the <em>fucking question!</em>¡± Karashel said spitting up a little bit of phlegm. ¡°Where. Do. We. Compare. To. You. Rtive. To. The. Aat? Are we closer to them or are we closer to you?¡±

    Caw just stood there and fumed.

    ¡°Thought so,¡± Karashel said triumphantly. ¡°You give them a pass and shower them with cuddles and kisses only because they have tech that you want. I bet if we had things that you wanted you would be much more forgiving of our little shorings as well, us ¡®still developing¡¯ and all.¡±

    ¡°<em>If</em> you developed as much native technology as they have, sure, we would be much more ¡®forgiving¡¯¡± Caw replied, ¡°But you haven¡¯t done <em>shit</em> and the Aat had even more of your ¡®culture shock¡¯ than you did.¡±

    ¡°Wormshit,¡± Karashel snapped back. ¡°The Aat are protected by their bulletproof minds! They are so far behind most of it went clear over their heads¡­ <em>and</em> they have been protected by <em>you</em> since you found out about all of their goodies! Nobody is going to fuck with them!¡±

    ¡°But they were the targets of the injustices you cry about before that!¡± Caw replied with a sneer. ¡°And they came out of it the winners, unlike the <em>Baleel</em>. If you want to try to pull in another race in a pathetic excuse to distract, do take care not to use one thatpletely outsses you in every single way!¡±

    ¡°Listen here you piece of...¡±

    ¡°It is done,¡± the abyssal lord said, ¡°The Federation has agreed to an evacuation of the capital in exchange for you sparing the contents of this room.¡±

    ¡°If you are intending to fuck us on this you do realize that you will have to deal with whatever the General considers worse than what she has already deployed as well as what I do here, yes?¡±

    ¡°If the Federation ¡®fucks¡¯ you they have us to deal with as well.¡±

    The colonel gestured to one of his people

    ¡°Sir?¡±

    ¡°Get me a connection from here to the hyperspace rys. I need to speak with the General.¡±

    ¡°How can you not see thepleteck of validity your argument holds?¡± Caw screeched.

    ¡°If it is so invalid, prove it! All I hear is screeching and insults!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t disprove a ghost! Your argument is indeed valid,¡± Caw screeched, ¡°<em>if your presumptions were true</em>. You have yet to prove a single one of them!¡±

    ¡°Oh, <em>really</em>...¡±

    ¡°Should we tell them that we are done here?¡± the sarcophagus asked.

    ¡°Nah,¡± the colonel said with a smile. ¡°We got plenty of time and I want to see where this goes.¡±

    ¡°Indeed,¡± the sarcophagus replied. ¡°It is most gratifying to see an Xx get it¡¯s rectum stretched over its head like this. What is that creature?¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s a Baleel?¡±

    ¡°Interesting...¡±

    ***

    ¡°Ok,¡± Karashel gasped. ¡°I will agree to forestall this ¡®discussion¡¯ until I ¡®acquire knowledge¡¯ concerning <em>some</em> of your points and verify <em>some</em> of your less asinine statements.¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ yes¡­ We are going around in circles,¡± Caw sighed inplete exhaustion, ¡°And we are running out of newbinations of slurs. I will also investigate some of your oundish statements.¡±

    As the anger and the Baleel equivalent of adrenaline faded she started to realize what she did, what she said.

    <em>Oh Creators what have I done?</em>

    ¡°So...¡± Karashel asked looking down at the ground, ¡°are we still friends?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Caw looked at her raising his crest in confusion. ¡°That is the absolute dumbest question you have ever asked, and that¡¯s saying something. Of course we are! I haven¡¯t had that much fun in ages!¡±

    ¡°That was fun?¡± Karashel asked in shock.

    ¡°Well,¡± Caw replied with a smile, ¡°Wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    Karashel looked him with abination of shock and horror.

    ¡°By the Creators themselves, <em>it was</em>¡­ Void take me it was...¡± she gasped.

    ¡°Now we both retreat, gather fresh information, and then do this again!¡± Caw said happily. ¡°You have chosen a most intriguing position, an invalid and doomed position, but an intriguing one. I look forward to the fresh thoughts this Xvakk¡¯Lok, knowledge battle will create!¡±

    ¡°And I look forward to kicking your ass!¡­ Not that I have feet...¡±

    ¡°I hope you will ept your defeat with the same amount of grace as the foolish confidence with which you approach it!¡±

    ¡°Oh bite me.¡±

    ¡°Bite you?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a human term.¡±

    ¡°You two kiss and make up yet?¡± the colonel asked.

    ¡°We are taking a break to reinforce our positions,¡± Caw replied, smoothing his feathers.

    ¡°You do realize the exact circumstances in which you two decided to have your spirited debate?¡± the sarcophagus asked. ¡°The extreme gravity? The potentially dire circumstances?¡±

    ¡°Silly me,¡± Caw replied. ¡°I was so engrossed in teaching my silly little sidekick a lesson that you were the only one who had to make concessions. Don¡¯t worry, if you had gotten in over your head, I would havee to the rescue.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    The colonel snickered.

    ¡°However, the fish is right. This is a rather unique situation,¡± Caw said to Karashel. ¡°Since we are here there are some things I would absolutely love to show you...¡±

 Chapter Sheloran the Loan Shark and Caw Makes a Phone Call

    Chapter Sheloran the Loan Shark and Caw Makes a Phone Call

    ¡°You had better get your pathetic little notes ready, you malformed gtin!¡± Caw said cheerfully to Karashel as they walked back into the Xx embassy.

    ¡°Oh I will, you blue-crested peckerhead!¡± Karashel said with augh. ¡°Prepare to get knowledged!¡±

    Laughing they entered the lobby.

    ¡°So did you stop them?¡± one of the guards asked with a flick of his crest.

    ¡°You better fucking believe it!¡± Caw crowed as he walked past. ¡°The humans were going to blow it up, you know.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± the guard screeched. ¡°What did you do?¡±

    ¡°Not a progenitor-cursed thing!¡± Caw replied over his shoulder as he and Karashel, stillughing, walked off.

    ¡°Wait!¡± the guard screeched, abandoning his post as it sprinted after them.

    ***

    ¡°Saving the archives sure works up a thirst,¡± Karashel said as they turned towards their offices. ¡°Want to hit the canteen? There is a juice box calling my name! I just love the purple ones!¡±

    ¡°I would love to,¡± Caw replied, ¡°but I gotta¡­ um¡­ take care of something first.¡±

    ¡°One of those ¡®um¡¯ things?¡±

    ¡°Yeah... I gotta do an ¡®um¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Well I guess I could call my mom first,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°She is probably sliming the floor by now.¡±

    ¡°You are a disgusting species, you know?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re one to talk,¡± Karashelughed.

    ¡°What do you mean? We are the height of beauty and grace.¡±

    ¡°Oh you¡¯re pretty,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°I¡¯m talking about your smell.¡±

    ¡°Are you saying we stink?!?¡±

    ¡°I have olfactory pits and taste buds all over my foot,¡± Karashel grinned. ¡°I thought my mother¡¯s organic gardening phase was bad! Do you guys ever wash your feet?¡±

    ¡°You taste wherever you walk? That¡¯s disgusting!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know the half of it,¡± Karashelughed.

    ¡°Just when I thought my opinion of the Baleel couldn¡¯t drop any further...¡± Caw snickered. ¡°Well I gotta¡­ um¡­ do stuff.¡±

    ¡°Have fun with the ¡®um¡¯. I gotta go calm down my mom,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°For some reason she thinks my life is dangerous or something¡­ Maybe I¡¯ll skip where we spent the afternoon.¡±

    ¡°Good idea,¡± Caw chuckled. ¡°I¡¯lle get you when the ¡®um¡¯ is over.¡±

    ¡°Cool.¡± Karashel said as she undted into her office.

    ***

    Caw chuckled as he entered his office.

    ¡°Blue-crested peckerhead,¡± he snickered. ¡°I like that one.¡±

    He sat down at his desk and activated his holo-monitor. He then essed their diplomatic hyperspace ry.

    A few minutester the insectoid face of the matriarch appeared.

    ¡°Caw!¡± the matriarch eximed. ¡°How is my favorite feathered friend?¡±

    ¡°Quite well!¡± Caw replied. ¡°I just had someone dere a Xvakk¡¯Lok on my ass!¡±

    ¡°Ooooo! It¡¯s on!¡± the matriarch buzzed happily.

    ¡°Indeed it is! I just had an upstart lesser race tell me I¡¯m full of shit!¡±

    ¡°You face an uphill battle, my friend!¡±

    Caw screeched withughter.

    ¡°Damn, this one¡¯s going to be harder than I thought,¡± he snickered.

    ¡°So, what can I do for you?¡± the matriarch asked.

    ¡°Actually, I¡¯m the one supplying you with information this time.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Something just happened that you <em>definitely</em> want to know about...¡±

    ***

    ¡°Sourcemother¡¯s semen encrusted ducts!¡± the matriarch shouted as she hung up, spraying a plume of irritation that filled the entire queen¡¯s chamber.

    Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at her. ¡°Ready a Ho!¡± she yelled. ¡°If those fucking tworms think they are going to get to <em>my</em> humans first they are sadly mistaken!¡±

    ¡°A Ho, Matriarch?¡±

    ¡°Yes! A Ho! I have to get to Raylesh NOW!¡±

    ¡°Are you certain you want a¡­ Ho? Wouldn¡¯t something else be-¡±

    ¡°I still know how to pilot one!¡± the matriarch snapped.

    ¡°I don¡¯t doubt your ability, Matriarch,¡± one queen said diplomatically as the others shifted nervously. ¡°It¡¯s just that...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just what?¡±

    ¡°Matriarch,¡± the queen said as carefully as she could. ¡°Are you certain you can still¡­ um¡­ <em>fit</em>?¡±

    She paused for a moment and then startedughing, filling the chamber with delight.

    ¡°Good point!¡± sheughed. ¡°Get me the fastest Sourcemotherfucking thing you can get! Hivefate priority!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Matriarch!¡±

    ***

    Somewhen, an ancient th female, followed by another th in a burgundy robe, paused as a solid wall parted in front of her.

    Once they had both entered and the wall sealed behind them the walls pale-blue runes started to glow.

    ¡°Now we can speak privately,¡± she said. ¡°So, sister, what is this madness of which you speak.¡±

    ¡°We can have our victory, our revenge!¡±

    ¡°Revenge is a foolish word for foolish people,¡± the Great Seer said. ¡°Why should we harm our own people? What benefit is there for us in that?¡±

    The other th hissed contententedly.

    ¡°Revenge not just on those who seek to destroy us from within,¡± she said with a half-insane smile, ¡°revenge on <em>everything</em>. We can achieve true victory, not just against the foolish ¡®Great Prophet¡¯, but against <em>them</em>, even against the Befouler! We can defeat fate itself!¡±

    ¡°Madness!¡± the ancient th hissed in horror. ¡°Sister,¡± she gasped, ¡°what have you done?¡±

    The other th smiled and opened her hand.

    In it was a single tiny little seed.

    ***

    Sheloran sighed at the line of xenos in her shop.

    For the first time she wished they were just here to screw Craxina.

    Once again ¡®word had gotten out¡¯. This time it wasn¡¯t Craxina.

    It was Uhrrbet!

    <em>Great Prophet! When when I ever pooping learn...</em>

    ¡°(sigh) Yes, it¡¯s a lovely basket,¡± she said to a slender four armed leathery being in front of her. ¡°But the Republic is kinda funny about what they call ¡®piece work¡¯. I don¡¯t want to get into trouble again!¡±

    The creature sagged as a wave of despair crashed over Sheloran.

    ¡°But I¡¯m getting everything set up so we can do it legally!¡± she said desperately. ¡°Come back next week! I¡¯ll have all the business and legal stuff set up then!¡±

    It looked up at her hopefully.

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yes, really!¡± Sheloran replied.

    ¡°Oh thank you!¡± it replied, but it didn¡¯t leave.

    Sheloran sighed as her eyes started to ache. Something ¡°gave¡± in therest night and it wasn¡¯t hurting so bad anymore but she was starting to get worried. For the hundredth time that day, she wished that she could call a priest, or a wise-woman.

    Being ¡®The Befouler¡¯ was starting to be a real pain¡­ literally¡­

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°I¡­¡± it stammered. ¡°I heard that I could get a loan¡­ Just a small one!¡±

    ¡°Is that all?¡± Sheloran smiled. ¡°That I can do!¡± she eximed as she pulled out a transactor and a tablet.

    The Republic was weird. Something that should be simple, like paying a person for each item they made was ¡®piece work¡¯ and was bad. You had to jump through all sorts of silly hoops to make it legal, and issuing loans when you weren¡¯t a bank, something super-duper illegal in the Federation, wasn¡¯t a big deal at all!

    What was even more weird was that, using her now thriving ¡®entertainment¡¯ business and ¡®improvements¡¯ that she had made to her property, she was able to secure even more funding to pay for it all!

    She didn¡¯t care what Baxlon said! That <em>had</em> to be pooping illegal!

    Illegal or not she wanted the money and the free port desperately needed it! If she didn¡¯t do something the Harkeen would own the whole ce and everyone in it and that wasn¡¯t going to fuc-¡­ wasn¡¯t going to <em>pooping</em> happen!

    If she had to break a fewws then so pooping be it! That¡¯s why she had the eel!

    She did feel bad about the interest she was charging but Baxlon said that it was ¡°the going rate¡±, especially for ¡°high-risk¡± loans.

    She didn¡¯t care about that. She just didn¡¯t want people to starve¡­ or sell their soul to the fuc-¡­ the pooping Harkeen. Screw¡­ I mean to heck with those jerkfaced bullies!

    In a few minutester the xeno left a few hundred credits ¡°richer¡±, and Sheloran had another contract.

    An hourter she had a dozen more and a dozen more people begging to ¡®work¡¯ for her offering everything from clothes to furniture.

    Sheloran shook her head and chuckled as she pulled out a small brick of Pu Erh tea.

    ¡°The whole pooping Free Port is going to be working for me before this is over,¡± she chuckled as her left eye pulsed a little.

    The door opened and a rather disheveled looking xeno, a race she had never seen, wandered in.

    It timidly approached the counter.

    Sheloran sighed and pulled out the transactor and tablet.

    ¡°Can I help you?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I¡­ I heard that¡­¡± it stammered as it looked up at her with shame, ¡°I heard that there were <em>girls</em> here?¡±

    <em>¡°Yes!¡±</em> Sheloran eximed as she happily pulled out another tablet. ¡°These are who are here right now! If the border of the picture is green they are ready right now! Ooo! Craxi is free! I¡¯ve never seen your kind here before! She <em>loves</em> ¡®meeting¡¯ new races¡­ if you know what I mean!¡± Sheloran said as she proffered the tablet with a wink. (and th can really wink!)

    The xeno squeaked excitedly as it, with trembling paws, reached for the tablet.

    ¡°Have fun!¡± Sheloran said with a friendly wave a few minutester as the xeno was led, squeaking and skipping, into the back by Craxina.

    ¡°Oh he will!¡± Craxina replied happily as they disappeared behind a curtain.

    <em>Thank the Great Prophet!</em> Sheloran thought to herself. <em>Finally! Someone who just wanted to fuck!¡­ wait...</em>

    Giggling at the absurdity that her life had be, she resumed making a pot of tea.

    ¡°Maybe I am the Befouler after all...¡± she muttered as she filled her cup.

    ***

    The Great Seer sighed with contentment as she stood on a small grassy hill overlooking a small glittering stream.

    It was <em>beautiful</em>!

    Maybe this ¡°madness¡± wasn¡¯t so bad of an idea after all.

    ¡°So this is?¡± a voice asked behind her.

    Smiling she turned to the simply dressed th behind her.

    ¡°A Fl¡¯lotharan tree,¡± she said smugly.

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Indeed,¡± the ancient th replied with a smile picking a small berry. ¡°Each of these contains one dose of the refined drug and they can be dried without affecting the active ingredient.¡±

    ¡°Amazing!¡± the Great Prophet replied, admiring the small tree. ¡°They look delightful, perhaps too delightful. What is to stop those whoe after from consuming them by mistake?¡±

    ¡°Way ahead of you,¡± the Great Seer replied. ¡°These things are so vile tasting that <em>nobody</em> is going to eat them unless they need to¡­ And the deterrent can be easily deactivated when they are properly prepared. They will still work raw, but we really outdid ourselves on the vor this time. It¡¯s perfect. You can just barely keep them down.¡±

    ¡°I give constant thanks to the spirits of the progenitors that you and your sisters joined us, Great One.¡±

    ¡°If we must do this,¡± the Great Seer replied, ¡°Then let us do it <em>properly</em>. This world will be a paradise! Let our slumber be one filled with beautiful dreams.¡±

    ¡°Forgive me,¡± the Great Prophet said. ¡°but I can¡¯t help but notice that you haven¡¯t called me a fool in quite some time.¡±

    ¡°That is because I may have reconsidered things,¡± the Great Seer said with a gentle smile. ¡°We have be wise, filled with the knowledge of all that is. We have be powerful, being able to say that we stand foremost among the first-born. But this...¡±

    She took a deep breath of pure, clean air and looked out over the countryside.

    ¡°With this we can im that rarest of all treasures. We can seize what even the progenitors themselves failed to grasp.¡±

    ¡°And that is?¡± The Great Prophet asked.

    The Great Seer lifted her secret eyelid and turned to the Great Prophet, her eyes shimmering with a thousand colors.

    ¡°We can be, <em>happy</em>,¡± she sighed. ¡°I have peered deep into reality itself. I have bent all that is to my will. I have chambers filled with treasures and delights of a thousand worlds. I have tasted vices and pleasures that shouldn¡¯t even be discussed, especially with you,¡± sheughed. ¡°But I have never been as ¡®happy¡¯, as filled with contentment and joy, as I have been these past few years. Working the soil, feeling it under my bare feet, watching my nts grow and thrive in the soil, as part of a living breathing <em>world</em>¡­ This¡­ This is what we should have been doing all along! Every thing we have done, everything we have achieved¡­ It was just wasted time. I know that now. We all do.¡±

    She knelt and kissed the Great Prophet¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Thank you! Thank you so much! You aren¡¯t leading us to ruin! You have shown us the path to joy!¡±

    ¡°You give me too much credit, Great One,¡± he smiled. ¡°Please get up. I am not worthy. I was also wrong, so very very wrong. I was driven by fear, by intolerance, by hate¡­ Yes hate. I hated you and your kind, ming you for what is simply the wheels of fate. What happened happens to all who reach that terrible point. Nobody has passed that final horrifying filter. Even the progenitors themselves were broken by it.¡±

    He gently pulled the Great Seer to her feet.

    ¡°Without you, without your sisters, this world would have been a purgatory, the ¡®punishment¡¯ that I felt that we deserved for our sins. Now,¡± he sighed, ¡°It is going to be a garden of endless bounty, a world of dreams where everything one could ever want springs from the soil and drops into our children¡¯s outstretched hands. This isn¡¯t our ¡®deserved fate¡¯. It will be our civilization¡¯s greatest achievement. We have you to thank for that, Great One.¡±

    ¡°I just wish that all of us understood,¡± the Great Seer said sadly.

    ¡°The heretic?¡± the Great Prophet asked.

    ¡°She and her followers still elude us,¡± The ancient th said sadly. ¡°I will carve out her heart myself. I should have struck her down when she showed me that ursed seed but I was weak, foolish, seduced with her poisoned whispers¡­ I...¡±

    Tears started to appear on the Great Seer¡¯s cheeks.

    The Great Prophet just embraced her.

    ¡°We were both foolish then,¡± he said. ¡°If I hadn¡¯t been so angry, so hate-filled, so intent on your destruction she would never have been driven into madness, neither of you would have been. I¡¯m so terribly sorry, Great One.¡±

    ¡°I fear for the future, Prophet. She could undo everything we strive for. I fear for our daughter.¡±

    ¡°Our¡­ daughter?¡±

    The ancient th smiled at him.

    ¡°I can bend life itself to my will,¡± she said with a joyous smile. ¡°If I can cure cancer with a berry, is breathing onest breath of life into these old bones so unbelievable?¡±

    The Great Prophet eximed with joy as he took the ancient th into his arms and kissed her.

    ¡°So the veil that separates us, that which keeps the castes pure?¡±

    ¡°Rent asunder,¡± the ancient th sighed happily. ¡°Thest barrier to our true freedom gone. Who better to be the first to receive that gift than you, Prophet.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just an old member of the warrior caste,¡± the Great Prophet said as he held his love in his arms. ¡°I can¡¯t peer into pools. I can¡¯t bend fate or weave genes, but I don¡¯t need any of that to see the future, our future. We will be just fine, all of us for now and for all time!¡±

    ¡°How can you be so sure?¡±

    ¡°You might think you know fate,¡± he smiled. ¡°but I <em>do</em> know war, which this is, a very strange war, to be sure, but it¡¯s war. We are beset on all sides. On one front we have <em>them</em> and the Befouler. On the other we have the witch and her cult. We don¡¯t peer into pools, our knowledge of the colors is one of instinct, inscribed into our bloodline. I don¡¯t <em>believe</em> the war to be won. I <em>know</em> it.¡±

    He threw his head back and let out an impossibly beautiful war-song.

    ¡°Our daughter!¡± he sang. ¡°Our daughter will cut them <em>all</em> down! You use a sword to cut down a swordsman. You use a starship to destroy a starship, and¡­ you use a <em>sphemy</em> to strike down a <em>sphemer</em>! You use a <em>monster</em> to consume a <em>monster</em>!¡±

    He grabbed the Great Seer and started to dance with an impossibly fluid grace.

    ¡°Do you¡­ Do you realize what you¡¯ve <em>done</em>?!?¡±

    The Great Seer danced along, her steps but clumping stompspared to a warriors grace.

    She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

    ***

    Sheloran coughed, spitting out her tea, as chills ran up and down her spine.

    Something just ¡°shifted¡±. She didn¡¯t exactly know how she knew¡­

    She just <em>knew</em>¡­

    And she also <em>knew</em> that she definitely did not like it.

    ¡°Poop.¡±

    ***

    Far in the past, out in the fringes of ¡®civilized space¡¯, on a backward little world forgotten by <em>almost</em> everyone, a corpulent savage translucentvender being, draped in animal furs, raised a bone goblet as he sat at a long wooden table piled high with wild game and fresh fruits and vegetables.

    ¡°A feast!¡± he roared. ¡°A feast of feasts to honor the Old Ones!¡± he bellowed as he drained his cup. ¡°Meat! Meat for my boyz and a bounty for our guests, blessed be their NAMES!¡± he yelled with delight as his subjects howled with delight. ¡°Be sure the rotters outside get plenty! Don¡¯t want these smells driving them into <em>another</em> revolt!¡±

    His servantsughed and started hauling a truly stupid amount of food outside as the crowd cheered.

    ¡°Long live his fatness! Long live the Fat King!¡± echoed in through the open windows.

    ¡°All you bastids raise your fokin sses! Raise them to the nt Gods!¡± he yelled.

    ¡°Whadda you mean bastids?¡± someone yelled. ¡°Most of us are yourz, you horny old fuk!¡±

    Everyone howled withughter, especially the king.

    ¡°Stand up! Show some fukin¡¯ respect!¡± the king yelled at his men and equally savage women.

    ¡°To da First-Bornz! To the stink of the progenitors demselves!!!¡± he yelled as he drained his cup again.

    ¡°Da First-Bornz!¡± his people howled all mming back their drink.

    A slightly older th, d in burgundy, who was sitting beside him stood and raised a crudely blown ss goblet (fancy!).

    ¡°We are honored by your warm reception,¡± she smiled as she sipped the rather crude wine. It was appealing in an earthy way.

    ¡°Ok boyz,¡± he shouted, ¡°<em>and honored guests</em>¡­ DIG IN!!!¡±

    Everyone cheered as they fell upon the feast, the most polite tearing whole roast beasts apart with their bare ¡°hands¡± and stuffing them into crudely shaped holes in their faces.

    Others simply stretched their mouth holes and plunged, face-first, into the repast.

    The th smiled. You had to give the Tol credit. They had ¡°style¡±¡­ sort of¡­

    ¡°So, are you having a problem with civil unrest?¡± she asked the corpulent blob sitting beside her.

    ¡°Wha?¡± the king said as he pulled a bone from his gaping maw. He examined it for a moment and then stuffed it back in.

    ¡°You mentioned rebellion. Is your reign under threat?¡± she asked. That could be a problem.

    ¡°Nah!¡± the king said as he shoved an entire small melon straight into his belly, a second mouth obligingly tearing itself open. ¡°Dey good people an¡¯ good people like a good fight every now and den! The boyz dish out a few lumps, get some back, and den we all get piss-drunk and screw!¡±

    ¡°A most interesting system of governance,¡± the th smiled.

    ¡°It works!¡± the kingughed, quivering all over. ¡°Everybody¡¯s fat and dropping bastid whelps all over da ce! What more kin I ask for? What more kin anyone ask for?¡±

    <em>He sounds like the ¡®Great Seer¡¯,</em> the th witch thought as she smiled back indulgently and raised her goblet. <em>The colors say that these animals will stand the test of time?</em>

    ¡°Dat¡¯s the secret of bein¡¯ king!¡± he said as he managed to fit even more food inside him. ¡°Keep them fat! Keep them drunk! Keep them fuckin¡¯!¡± he yelled. ¡°You win wars dat way! You know how I conkerd Roop¡¯s boyz?¡±

    ¡°Tell me,¡± she asked with a smile. She simply had to hear this.

    ¡°I had dem all holed up in der castle all ready to fight me to thest Tol,¡± heughed. ¡°I let dem sit in dere for a good week while I pretended to get ready to fight ¡®em¡­ Den...¡± heughed. ¡°I rolled out a feast and a half with wagons of booz and hundreds of the prettiest Tollops you ever seen! Den I stripped nekkid and climbed up on one of the tables and what did I yell?¡±

    ¡°YOU FUKERS WANNA FIGHT OR DO YOU WANNA GET DRUNK AND FUK!!!¡± his horde all bellowed in unison.

    ¡°Me and my boyz den started throwin¡¯ down rite den and dere!¡± he yelled, bellowing withughter. ¡°Eatin¡¯ an¡¯ drinkin¡¯ an fukkin!¡­ right in front of em¡­¡± heughed. ¡°It didn¡¯t take long before dey started lookin¡¯ at each udder reel hard. ¡®Bout the time we pulled up the second wagon of booz ol¡¯ Roop hisself yelled ¡®fuk dis!¡¯ and came out, grabbed a Tollop and some brew, and sit rite down beside me, didn¡¯t you, you old fukker?¡±

    ¡°Sure did!¡± Roop yelled from somewhere in the throng. ¡°Dam good party it was!¡±

    ¡°Me an¡¯ Roop settled things right there, face deep in food, booz, and Tollop!¡± the king roared. ¡°Yea you kin swing swords and shoot gunz but you really wanna win? You really wanna be king? Shoot food. Shoot booz. Show ¡®em how much fun your boyz have, <em>everyday!</em> Dey throw down der swords, der gunz, and fukkin¡¯ hand you their crownz¡­ An I got you skinny little blues to thank for it all! Progenitors bless all of you weird little fuks!¡±

    ¡°d we could help,¡± she smiled sipping the wine (it was actually pretty good!¡­ a bit strong though) ¡°I am a bit confused though. You say that we are the source of your good fortune, but how?¡± The king just looked at her in confusion.

    ¡°Da food!¡± he yelled. ¡°All da food! You taught us, showed us how to grow stuff good! Gave us da magic ntz! Oil berries! Bread gourds! That grass that makes the dirt good and makes the moo¡¯s fat! The greens that keep the pox away an¡¯ all the rest! All of that! It made me fat! It made my people fat!¡­ An¡¯ itz gonna make the whole world fat!¡±

    ¡°I am deeply honored by your appreciation,¡± she said, ¡°but most of that was already here. We only tweaked a few little things where the oil berries were concerned.¡±

    ¡°Yea but if it weren¡¯t for you we wouldn¡¯t know would we?¡± the kingughed. ¡°An¡¯ some of dat weren¡¯t around here!¡±

    ¡°True, some of what we introduced was located elsewhere on your but that was of little consequence.¡±

    ¡°You might be able to skip over to the other side of the world¡­ and the next no problem but itz ¡®of big consekwence¡¯ to us! We owe you big time!¡­ Don¡¯t we boyz?¡± he yelled.

    ¡°Raaaaaarrrrrrrr!¡± they all shoutedpletely ignorant of what they agreed to. The Fat King steered them good this far. He probably knew what he was doin¡¯.

    As an unending stream of food and drink flowed into the hall many of the th present retreated to lounges, unustomed to the excesses inflicted upon them, and many of the Tol staggered away from the table only to be reced by people, many of themmoners, from outside.

    The ¡°nobility¡¯s¡± only concern seemed to be that the new arrival¡¯s cups were empty¡­ and they had entirely too many clothes on¡­

    Some of the knights and nobles even got up and took the servant¡¯s ces, shoving them towards the table with a ¡°Get in dere!¡± and a swat on the butt.

    The servants didn¡¯t seemed surprised one bit. They just tossed off their ¡°fancy¡± clothes (didn¡¯t want to get them dirty) and plunged in.

    The th witch suddenly slumped forward. That wine was entirely too delicious and entirely too strong.

    All the Tol cheered as her head hit the table.

    ***

    ¡°Uhhhhh...¡± the witch groaned as a beam of sunlight mercilessly fell upon her face.

    She cracked open her eyes to a full-blown orgy. Tols and Tollops were all in a wiggling mass...everywhere.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± a Tollop servant said as she moved to refill her goblet.

    ¡°No more wine! Please!¡± she groaned.

    The Tollop justughed.

    ¡°Your kind don¡¯tst long,¡± she said, jigging with mirth. ¡°Don¡¯t worry! Party¡¯s still fukkin¡¯ goin!¡±

    ¡°I can see that,¡± she said as she looked at the carnal excesses taking ce in front of her.

    ¡°Heh, yea,¡± the Tollop chuckled. ¡°Dey reely goin¡¯ at it ain¡¯t dey?¡±

    ¡°The king,¡± the th said as she struggled clumsily to her feet. ¡°Do you know where I might find him.¡±

    ¡°Ol¡¯ Fatty is at the pits!¡± she said cheerfully as someone crawled over to them raising an empty goblet. ¡°Out front. Can¡¯t miss them!¡± she said as she poured wine into the goblet.

    The th witch carefully picked her way through the quivering translucentvender chaos around her.

    ***

    She found the king, d only in a protective drape across his front, standing in front of a massive iron grill.

    He looked up at her and waved a fearsome barbed spike cheerfully.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± she said as she walked up.

    ¡°Mornin¡¯! I woulda had dem carry you to a bed but I didn¡¯ know if dat was disrespectful.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ alright...¡± she said weakly. ¡°But for the record it, as long as your intentions were good, would not have been.¡±

    He turned to face someone walking up holding an empty te.

    ¡°Who the hell are you?¡± the king asked as he cut off a massive b of meat.

    ¡°One of Kreba¡¯s boyz!¡±

    ¡°Kreba¡¯s here?¡± the king asked as he plopped a massive serving down.

    ¡°An¡¯ we brought a shitload of meeps! An¡¯ real booz!¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do dat! Dis my party!¡±

    ¡°Kreba don¡¯t show up with nothin¡¯ but mouthz! ¡®Sides, we have too many of the little bastids!¡± the tol grinned. ¡°Can¡¯t eat dem fast enough!¡±

    ¡°Well throw dem on da fire!¡± the king eximed as he watched another group of riders enter. ¡°From da looks of things someone will eat ¡®em!¡±

    ¡°Oh, Kreba sayz you better have saved some goo for her!¡± the Tol said. ¡°She says she she expects a proper stuffing as well as a proper stuffing!¡±

    ¡°Good ol Kreba!¡± the king said with a grin. ¡°Tell her I always got goo for her!¡±

    The Tol bowed to the th and then trotted off.

    ¡°Kreba is one hard Tollop!¡± the king said with a grin. ¡°She and her boyz put up one helluva fight!¡±

    ¡°You have female rulers?¡±

    ¡°You seen Kreba? Dat Tollop can break a tree in half! Dey grow em big over dere!¡±

    ¡°And her boys don¡¯t object to being led by a woman?¡±

    The king looked at her in confusion.

    ¡°A lot of her boyz are Tollops¡­ Oh!¡± the kingughed. ¡°Boyz don¡¯t mean ¡®boys¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Sorry?¡±

    ¡°Boyz means anyone dat runs with you!¡± the king said as he started serving a fresh pack of Tols and Tollops some just grabbing chunks of steaming meat with their bare hands and scampering off.

    He looked over the feasting throngs and smiled happily.

    ¡°I love being rich!¡± he yelled as everyone cheered in response.

    ¡°I can certainly see how such disys help keep you in power.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡± the king said looking over his shoulder. ¡°Yeah dat¡¯s nice and all but <em>real clink</em>¡­ <em>real sh</em>¡­ is bein¡¯ so fukking flush you can¡¯t even give it all away! I can stuff every single mouth I see full, pack every single belly to bursting! Even den I got so much I gotta conker more hungry Tols to fatten up! Look at dem!¡± he eximed. ¡°Everybody¡¯s fat! Everybody¡¯s smiling! <em>Dat¡¯s</em> what bein¡¯ a king is all about! I like a good fight but I fukkin¡¯ <em>love</em> dis!¡±

    The witch looked at him thoughtfully, starting to make sense of the colors. If this corpulent mass of benevolent might could truly gain power and this prosperity maintained¡­

    ¡°You mentioned using ¡®Tollops¡¯ to subdue your foes?¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± He eximed as he bent down to hand a small Tollop a particrly fatty cut. ¡°Works every time!¡±

    ¡°So do you conscript prostitutes or do you force-¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± the king eximed. ¡°Nobody is ¡®forcin¡¯ anyone! Anyone who runs with me is down with it. When I take my party on da road my fukboyze along because dey are up for a good time and like runnin¡¯ with us!¡±

    ¡°So there is no subjugation of females in your realm?¡±

    ¡°Wha? Why would dere be? My mom is a female,¡± heughed. ¡°Ain¡¯t going to subjugate my mom an if anyone tries dat on one of my daughters dey gonna have trouble! Why you ask?¡±

    ¡°Oh, some things seem to be more easily learned by females, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Like weavin¡¯?¡± he asked. ¡°Dey better at fiddly shit!¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ <em>weaving</em>¡­¡± she replied with a slightly wicked smile.

    A servant came by with a tray of fresh fruit and vegetables.

    ¡°Are you hungry, first-born?¡±

    She smiled and selected arge fleshy fruit and tossed onto the grill.

    The servant and the king looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

    ¡°The mes will caramelize the sugars, greatly enhancing the vor,¡± she smiled.

    ¡°Really?¡± the servant asked. ¡°I never thought of that!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s one of many things I will teach you,¡± the th smiled.

    ***

    Sheloran was humming happily to herself. Things had been delightfully ¡°normal¡± since lunch. She had a few peopleing in looking to sell their crafts and a few just dropping in because they heard that she was good for a bowl of rice.

    However, most who dropped by were looking for Craxina and her friends, a wonderful little respite of normalcy.

    She chuckled at the thought of running a whorehouse being ¡°normal¡±.

    She idly pulled out a tablet and reviewed things. She was finally able to look at the amount of money she was ¡®losing¡¯ without getting queasy.

    If those people actually started repaying those loans¡­ at that interest¡­ she pondered as she fiddled with a spread sheet¡­

    <em>Great Prophet!</em> she thought as she stared at the numbers appearing in front of her.

    That couldn¡¯t be right! It couldn¡¯t be that much money! She ran the numbers again.

    ¡°Oh poop,¡± she gasped and giggled.

    ¡°Ohmycreators!¡± came an excited squeal from the other side of the curtain.

    Craxina and Gizx, one of the new girls, trotted in, Gizx clutching a crystal to her chest.

    ¡°Are¡­ Are you sure this is right?¡± she asked looking up (yes, up) at Craxina.

    ¡°Yep. That¡¯s your pay for the day,¡± Craxina grinned. ¡°A bit different when you aren¡¯t getting ripped off isn¡¯t it?¡±

    Gizx wasn¡¯t even able to speak. She just giggled and nodded.

    ¡°So, see you tomorrow?¡± Craxina asked with a smile.

    ¡°Creators, yes! Tomorrow and the next day, and the next!¡± Gizx eximed, jumping up and down. ¡°Thank you ever so much for showing me that thing about their butthole!¡±

    ¡°The mysteries of the human butthole are many and profound,¡± Craxinaughed as she started to make herself a cappino.

    ¡°And deep! Don¡¯t forget deep!¡± Gizxughed.

    Sheloran just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

    ¡°Here, boss.¡± Gizx asked cheerfully handing over her data crystal.

    ¡°Oh, coffee isplimentary for employees,¡± Sheloran smiled. ¡°As long as you make it yourself.¡±

    ¡°Your cut,¡± Gizx replied with a cute wiggle of her antennae. ¡°You haven¡¯t taken it yet!¡±

    ¡°Already done,¡± Craxina replied from over her shoulder as she frothed the milk. ¡°We handle all of that before you get your payout.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?!?!¡± Gizx gasped, ¡°This is mine? All of this is¡­ mine?¡±

    ¡°Every credit,¡± Sheloran replied with a smile. This was all toomon a reaction she thought as her eyes started to throb a little¡­

    So many bullies that needed a good swat¡­

    Gizx looked like she was going to faint.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m going shopping!¡± she eximed. ¡°In the <em>real</em> city!¡­ Maybe¡­ maybe¡­ <em>go out to eat!</em>¡­ Creators!¡­ Thank you!¡± she cried out embracing Sheloran.

    ¡°Um¡­ no problem...¡± Sheloran said ufortably. ¡°I¡¯m not doing anything special. It¡¯s just standard union rates...¡±

    ¡°But¡­ but you <em>saved me</em>!¡± Gizx cried as she hugged her tighter. ¡°Without you I¡¯d still be working for <em>them</em>.¡±

    ¡°Well, you don¡¯t have to worry about <em>them</em> anymore!¡± Sheloran replied.

    ¡°Thank you!¡­ Thanks¡­ Thanks!¡± Gizx gushed repeatedly as she backed out of the shop, bowing repeatedly.

    Sheloran couldn¡¯t help but smile. The Republic might have turned out to be a cesspit that was scummy as poop but at least she was doing <em>something</em> about it all.

    ¡°Good kid,¡± Craxnia said as she sipped her cappino. ¡°And she actually likes the work too! I think she¡¯s a keeper!¡±

    ¡°Well that¡¯s nice,¡± Sheloran replied as she sipped a cup of tea.

    The door to the shop opened and Sheloran looked up happily.

    ¡°Wee! How can I-¡±

    Standing there was a Threen dressed in a spacer¡¯s jumpsuit.

    <em>Harkeen</em>

    ¡°Oh shit.¡± Craxina said quietly.

    ¡°Need something, <em>Threen</em>,¡± Sheloran said with a little hiss.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the Threen sneered as he walked up. ¡°Boss says that we got a problem.¡±

    ¡°Has he considered more fiber?¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°It helps when someone is full of <em>poop</em>.¡±

    ¡°Cute,¡± the Threen replied baring its fangs. ¡°You fucking with the whores is one thing. The union has your back. But now you are running loans?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran replied, her eyes starting to throb, ¡°I¡¯ve expanded my business to offer financial services. So what. You don¡¯t like it? You can¡¯tpete? Tough.¡±

    ¡°So you either gotta stop or you gotta start paying <em>rent</em>. Otherwise something <em>bad</em> is gonna happen to-¡±

    The Threen trailed off into silence as he was gripped with a primal instinctive fear as he watch the skin start to bulge and ripple around Sheloran¡¯s eyes.

    Craxina squeaked and started to back away in terror but she wasn¡¯t scared of the thug. It felt almost like¡­ <em>something</em> was stretching very tight¡­ and very thin¡­

    The air escaped Sheloran¡¯s gill slits in an ominous hiss.

    ¡°While¡­¡± she choked out, ¡°While you can still walk¡­ Get. <em>OUT</em>!¡±

    His eyes widening in fear, the Threen beat a hasty retreat.

    Sheloran stood there, shaking, as she inhaled and the air was expelled in a near constant, terrifying hiss from her gills.

    Craxina just looked on anxiously. The air was shimmering as it flew out of Sheloran¡¯s neck like it was roiling off of a hot sidewalk¡­

    No, it wasn¡¯t¡­ But it almost looked like it for a second.

    ¡°Shel?¡±

    Sheloran looked back at her. Craxina squealed a little and backed away.

    <em>That isn¡¯t Sheloran! Oh Creators¡­ what is that!?!</em>

    Then Sheloran blinked¡­

    And everything just sort of ¡°snapped¡± back to normal.

    Sheloran¡¯s knees buckled as she gripped the counter for support, her free hand wing at her eyes. Great Prophet did they hurt!

    ¡°Sheloran?¡± Craxina asked in a tiny, terrified voice.

    ¡°We¡­ We¡¯re closing early today...¡± Sheloran gasped weakly. ¡°I gotta talk to Baxlon.¡±

    ***

    ¡°I¡¯m really scared!¡± Sheloran yelped into hermunicator. ¡°I think the Harkeen are going to do something!¡±

    ¡°Hmm...¡± Baxlon said calmly. ¡°Sounds like you finally caught the attention of a bigger fish, a little guppy of a thing, but still.¡±

    ¡°That ¡®guppy¡¯ is plenty enough!¡± she squeaked. ¡°I just wanted to sell games, Baxlon! <em>I just wanted to sell games!</em>¡±

    ¡°Then you should have done just that.¡± Baxlon said in a chiding voice. ¡°What¡¯s done is done. Now we must deal with things as they are.¡±

    ¡°<em>What are we going to do?</em>¡± Sheloran squeaked.

    ¡°We could get you some security,¡± Baxlon said calmly, ¡°But good security doesn¡¯te cheap. With your core business being impacted, I¡¯m not entirely sure whores, baskets, and coffee is going to cut it.¡±

    Baxlon issued a long bubbly sigh.

    ¡°You are going to hate me for this,¡± he said, ¡°But did the Harkeen enforcer mention what your rent would be? Sometimes-¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Sheloran hissed. ¡°They don¡¯t get one single <em>fucking</em> credit! You give into a bully <em>just a little</em> and they juste back harder the next time!¡±

    ¡°What is it with you and bullies?¡±

    ¡°<em>I¡¯ve been bullied my whole pooping life</em>!¡± she snapped, getting angry. ¡°Someone was always pushing me around, for no reason! I know bullies! There is no pleasing them! No matter how small you try to be, they just want you to be smaller! I pay them their pooping ¡®rent¡¯ today and tomorrow they go after my girls! No! We get security! I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll make it work, somehow.¡±

    Baxlon looked at her carefully.

    ¡°There something wrong with your eyes? They look swollen or something.

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t yours be?¡± she squeaked. ¡°I had fuck¡­ pooping Harkeen in my shop!¡±

    ¡°Fair enough,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°I know some guys who can handle this. I¡¯ll call them. Just¡­ just hold off on any new loans for a bit.¡±

    Sheloran hissed.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t giving in to ¡®the bullies¡¯,¡± Baxlon said, ¡°You are just taking a reasonable precaution while we get you some backup, ok?¡±

    Sheloran red at him for a few moments.

    ¡°Ok,¡± she sighed. ¡°No more loans.¡±

    ¡°Good girl,¡± he smiled. ¡°Now, try to rx. If they show up again just tell them that you¡¯ve stopped the loans. Once we get you set up then you can tell them to go to hell.¡±

    ¡°Ok, thanks Baxlon.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll call you soon,¡± Baxlon said as he hung up.

    <em>It will be toote.</em>

    Sheloran blinked and shivered as a sense of foreboding consumed her.

    <em>No¡­ It¡¯s going to be fine. We¡¯ll just stop the loans and get some security.</em>

    Still¡­

    ¡°Hey, Ploxni,¡±she said as Ploxni came out carrying a mop and bucket.

    ¡°Yes, boss?¡± Ploxni asked with a bright smile gracing her see-through pink face.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t youe home with us tonight?¡± Sheloran asked. ¡°We can go out to eat and have a sleep-over. It will be fun!¡±

    ¡°Oh I¡¯d love to, boss,¡± Ploxni said, ¡°but I just took an appointment forter.¡±

    ¡°You running your own business, Plox?¡± Craxina asked with mock severity.

    ¡°It¡¯s just it¡¯s Dave!¡± she squeaked defensively. ¡°He¡¯sing in today and he said that he missed me!¡±

    ¡°Aww¡­ Ploxni has a boyfriend! Oooo!¡± Craxinaughed.

    ¡°We¡¯ll wait.¡± Sheloran said firmly.

    ¡°But it won¡¯t be for hours!¡± Ploxni protested. ¡°I don¡¯t want to inconvenience you and Dave¡­ He¡¯s...¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s what?¡± Sheloran asked with a faint hiss.

    ¡°He¡¯s¡­ goingtobehereallnight...¡± Ploxni said in a tiny voice.

    ¡°Oooooooooooo¡­. Busted!¡± Craxina said poking at Ploxni. ¡°It isn¡¯t a job, it¡¯s a <em>date</em>!¡± she crowed. ¡°I was wondering why I wasn¡¯t seeing him around much! He¡¯s getting it for freeeeeeeee!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, boss! We¡¯ll stop! Don¡¯t get mad!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not mad,¡± Sheloran replied, calming down. ¡°In fact it makes me feel a lot better knowing you aren¡¯t here alone.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s ok?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Sheloran replied with a smile. ¡°Tell Dave hello for me¡­¡±

    With a nervous look back, Sheloran let Craxina lead her out of the door.

    <em>Don¡¯t leave.</em>

    ¡°Come on...¡± Craxina said tugging her as she paused. ¡°Dave will be here in a minute and he¡¯s former army. She¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran said as she let Craxina guide her to a waiting cab. ¡°It will be fine.¡±

    ***

    On the other side of the Free Port a pudgy Threen sat in a Threen restaurant snarling at the Threen standing in front of him.

    ¡°I¡¯ve had it with that fucking frog!¡± he snarled. ¡°So, she says that we can¡¯t pete¡¯? Let¡¯s show how how well we fucking pete¡¯!¡±

    ¡°Are you sure, boss?¡± the other Threen fidgeted. ¡°I don¡¯t think we should.¡±

    ¡°You scared of a fucking th?¡±

    ¡°N¡­ no¡­ but it¡¯s <em>Sheloran</em>, boss and¡­ and¡±

    ¡°Oh I know all about the ¡®drop of oil¡¯,¡± the fat Threen sneered. ¡°It¡¯s bullshit, all of it. She says so herself. She just got lucky with those two bounty hunters and shooting a couple of th ain¡¯t nothing to be proud of. She ain¡¯t nothing but just another whore who needs a good p!¡±

    ¡°But, boss...¡±

    ¡°But nothing!¡± he snarled. ¡°First she goes after the whores and now she goes after our money? You just going to hand over the Free Port to that whore? Call the boys! We deal with this ¡®drop of oil¡¯ tonight!¡±

 Chapter Supplement: What the Poop is Going On With the Plath?

    Chapter Supplement: What the Poop is Going On With the th?

    Here¡¯s the deal¡­

    The th of today, including Sheloran, have absolutely no idea, but once, <strong><em>very </em></strong>long ago, when the elder races of this gxy were but grunting savages the th were an ancient and powerful race.

    Their technology was so far advanced that it transcends anything known today.

    For hundreds of thousands of years, they dominated the gxy, perhaps not <em>entirely</em> despotically, maybe not even as a colonial power, (that hasn¡¯t been discussed) but as far as sheer <em>power</em> by any measure, they were on top of the heap.

    They have even been referred to as one of the ¡°first-born¡±, whatever that means.

    Then, something went terribly wrong¡­

    The exact nature of the event has yet to be discussed in any real detail but whatever it was the th became absolutely certain that it would spell their doom, that everything they were was rapidly approaching the ¡°end¡±.

    Terms like <em>them</em>, ¡°The Befouler¡±, ¡°Annoying fate itself¡±, ¡°The Corrupted One¡±, and the like were used referring to whatever they encountered or did.

    They obviously <em>fucked up</em>.

    In discussions between The Great Prophet and The Great Seer it was mentioned that whatever this was had imed every race that ran afoul of it.

    The Great Prophet said the following about ¡°it¡±:

    ¡°What happened happens to all who reach that terrible point. Nobody has passed that final horrifying filter. Even the progenitors themselves were broken by it.¡±

    It seems that there might be yet another ¡°great filter¡± ahead of every single civilization currently in existence¡­

    The shbacks, visions, and dreams written so far center around one group of beings far in the th¡¯s history, the generation that either caused the great disaster or were the ones trying to deal with it and takes ce over several years (long enough for the young female ¡°witch¡± in the mini-arc to visibly be older)

    The events of those days:

    A powerful and influential group, the ¡°Revisionists¡± lead by an individual referred to as ¡°The Great Prophet¡± decided that the best response to the disaster was topletely regress, abandon all technology, and dismantle their entire society saying that this would stop their progress towards their end, possibly even averting it.

    It seems that th society of that day were separated into distinct castes with gic interlocks in ce to keep each one ¡°pure¡±.

    Despite the extreme stance, it seems that the majority of the castes came to agree with him.

    One caste in particr, the seers, vehemently opposed this move.

    A conflict of some sort broke out with the very powerful seer caste whose mastery of gic maniption bordered on the magical and who seemingly could actually analyze probability well enough to look forward or backward in time. This escted to them actually engaging in armed conflict with the rest of the th.

    Despite their power, the conflict turned against them. It isn¡¯t clear in what form this war took or if it was a full caste on caste war or if was just elements within a greater caste but the group called ¡°the sisters¡± were ¡°fighting and dying¡± in an increasingly losing fight.

    As the arc begins a female th, part of a group referred to as ¡°witches¡± or ¡°seers¡± using a scrying pool to gaze into ¡°all that is¡± while a ship was in hyperspace staring into the ¡°timelessness¡± of that reality looking for some consciousness that she had felt impinging on her mind from time to time.

    Eventually she finds Sheloran, who was seemingly reaching backwards in time in a dream state for some reason.

    This was initially ¡°triggered¡± by Sheloran¡¯s obsession with a particrly immersive VR game called ¡°Submerged¡±. It seems that the surreal organdscapes of that world might bear a strangely coincidental resemnce to the ¡°world¡± of the ancient th¡­ maybe¡­

    Whatever the reason, Sheloran has be gamer¡¯s addiction level obsessed with ¡°Submerged¡±. She¡¯s losing sleep, skipping meals¡­ you know how it is¡­ (we all know¡­ don¡¯t pretend you don¡¯t¡­)

    And the more she ys it, the more vivid and disturbing her ¡°dreams¡± are getting.

    There are several reasons for this that will be mentioned as we reach them.

    When she locates Sheloran, in the far future, she believes that she has found ¡°her¡±, someone she believes is proof positive that the Revisionists, no matter how sessful they appear to be, will ultimately fail, everything they do being undone. Fate cannot be denied after all, only dyed.

    Armed with this ¡°knowledge¡± she goes to work¡­

    Years pass, long enough for to appear a little older, and she finally is ready to make her move.

    After being in seclusion for a long time, she resumes contact with her coven, now in hiding.

    She addresses them confirming what is now obvious. The Revisionist victory is certain.

    She advocates ¡°surrender¡± even going as far as to have entered negotiations with the leader of the Revisionists, The Great Prophet on their behalf.

    When her sisters, especially their ancient leader, the Great Seer, object saying that everything, including ¡°the words of the progenitors¡± would be lost she simply replies that it was going to happen no matter what.

    Concerning their defeat she says,

    ¡°The brightest colors shine with their victory. Anyone who peers knows that, however, the brightest colors aren¡¯t the only ones. There are deeper, more subtle hues. Our fate remains unchanged!¡± Murmurings started to spread from hundreds of shadow-filled alcoves in the walls.

    ¡°Yes, they will ¡®win¡¯,¡± the th said. ¡°but they drive their vessel upstream. Their strokes are powerful and their vision is keen so they will seed. They can win against us and they can prevail against those from the other realm. They cannot, however, defeat the greatest threat of all, time. Yes, they paddle with such furor but their arms will grow weak, their eyes will grow dim...¡± She smiled to the assembled th.

    ¡°And the river never stops. They will not cheat fate. They only cheat time. Who cares if they gain hundreds, thousands, or even millions of years? It matters not. Fate will not be denied. Yes, they have the force of arms. Yes, they have the hearts of the people. We have time itself. Time ttens mountains, drinks oceans¡­ It even ground the progenitors themselves into dust! And this ¡®Great Prophet¡¯ thinks he can win, he can seed where even the almighty progenitors failed? Let him try! There is no need to fight, no need to suffer! There is no reason for any more of us to die! Give them their victory!¡±

    She goes on to state that she has negotiated very favorable terms. If they stop interfering and do not seek to increase their numbers, they can live free and even continue to engage in their rituals and practices for the duration of any of their lives.

    The Great Seer agrees to these terms agreeing with the witch emphasizing the words,

    ¡°The past is immutable, as a result, the future is set. The only thing we have is the present.¡±

    It is also stated, for the first time, that the Great Prophet is selecting and preparing a single on which the th will sequester themselves and allow themselves to regress. Both the witch and the Great Seer agree that if this must happen they should use their skills (presumably their mastery of gics) to ensure that it is done properly.

    After the meeting the witch meets privately with the Great Seer to reveal the real reason why she advocated ¡°peace¡±. She reveals what she had actually been working on for all those years¡­

    <em>Revenge</em>¡­

    To the Great Seer¡¯s horror she reveals that she has a way for them to ultimately ¡°win¡±, to be able to take their revenge on all parties, the Revisionists, their supporters, and even The Befouler.

    She then opens her hand to reveal a single, solitary seed.

    What transpires next isn¡¯t clear but it seems that the Great Seer agreed to her n and even supported it for awhile.

    At this point many years pass in the past before the next echoes.

    The seers not only surrender but have actively supported the Revisionists and are in the process of making what will be the th homeworld not just a prison, but a true paradise creating a gically engineered miracle of aplete ecosystem where the th will have everything they need... produced by native nts!

    The next echo centers on The Great Prophet and the Great Seer, once bitter enemies, now close (very close) allies meet as the now truly ancient Great Seer reveals the sister¡¯stest masterpiece, a tree that produces berries containing a single cure-all for cancer.

    It seems that the Great Seer, and the rest of her coven havee to truly embrace the vision of the Revisionists and unity has been fully restored among the th. It seems that the seers may still believe that the Revisionists are ¡°wrong¡± but have another reason as shown in the following passage,

    ¡°Forgive me,¡± the Great Prophet said. ¡°but I can¡¯t help but notice that you haven¡¯t called me a fool in quite some time.¡±

    ¡°That is because I may have reconsidered things,¡± the Great Seer said with a gentle smile. ¡°We have be wise, filled with the knowledge of all that is. We have be powerful, being able to say that we stand foremost among the first-born. But this...¡±

    She took a deep breath of pure, clean air and looked out over the countryside.

    ¡°With this we can im that rarest of all treasures. We can seize what even the progenitors themselves failed to grasp.¡±

    ¡°And that is?¡± The Great Prophet asked.

    The Great Seer lifted her secret eyelid and turned to the Great Prophet, her eyes shimmering with a thousand colors.

    ¡°We can be,<em> happy</em>,¡± she sighed. ¡°I have peered deep into reality itself. I have bent all that is to my will. I have chambers filled with treasures and delights of a thousand worlds. I have tasted vices and pleasures that shouldn¡¯t even be discussed, especially with you,¡± sheughed. ¡°But I have never been as ¡®happy¡¯, as filled with contentment and joy, as I have been these past few years. Working the soil, feeling it under my bare feet, watching my nts grow and thrive in the soil, as part of a living breathing <em>world</em>¡­ This¡­ This is what we should have been doing all along! Every thing we have done, everything we have achieved¡­ It was just wasted time. I know that now. We all do.¡±

    She knelt and kissed the Great Prophet¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Thank you! Thank you so much! You aren¡¯t leading us to ruin! You have shown us the path to joy!¡±

    It is then clear that full reconciliation between the two groups has been achieved.

    There is only one dissident¡­

    The original th from the first dream, the witch, now called ¡°the heretic¡± is still devoted to her revenge, which the Great Seer now vehemently opposes. She says,

    ¡°I should have struck her down when she showed me that ursed seed but I was weak, foolish, seduced with her poisoned whispers¡­¡±

    Whatever this ¡°revenge¡± will be causes the Great Seer to fear for the th¡¯s future believing that whatever the Heretic is nning is a very real threat.

    She then surprises The Great Prophet by saying that she not only feared for their future, she feared for their daughter.

    It seems that The Great Prophet and The Great Seer had be quite close indeed.

    Using her mastery of life itself the The Great Seer had ¡°breathed one final breath of life into her old bones¡± and made it so she could once again bear a child! She also reveals that she and her caste had finally cracked the gic interlocks that kept the th¡¯s castes ¡°pure¡± allowing them to once again interbreed, something that they had long wanted. She called it ¡°Thest barrier to our true freedom¡±.

    With that barrier removed, the th bloodlines could mingle and once again return to a homogeneous baseline. They could return to what they once were!

    Upon hearing this the Great Prophet was overjoyed, and not just because his love bore him a child.

    He said,

    ¡°I¡¯m just an old member of the warrior caste,¡± the Great Prophet said as he held his love in his arms. ¡°I can¡¯t peer into pools. I can¡¯t bend fate or weave genes, but I don¡¯t need any of that to see the future, our future. We will be just fine, all of us for now and for all time!¡±

    ¡°How can you be so sure?¡± [the Great Seer asked]

    ¡°You might think you know fate,¡± he smiled. ¡°but I <em>do</em> know war, which this is, a very strange war, to be sure, but it¡¯s war. We are beset on all sides. On one front we have <em>them</em> and the Befouler. On the other we have the witch and her cult. We don¡¯t peer into pools, our knowledge of the colors is one of instinct, inscribed into our bloodline. I don¡¯t <em>believe</em> the war to be won. I <em>know</em> it.¡±

    He threw his head back and let out an impossibly beautiful war-song.

    ¡°Our daughter!¡± he sang. ¡°Our daughter will cut them <em>all</em> down! You use a sword to cut down a swordsman. You use a starship to destroy a starship, and¡­ you use a <em>sphemy</em> to strike down a <em>sphemer</em>! You use a <em>monster</em> to consume a <em>monster</em>!¡±

    He grabbed the Great Seer and started to dance with an impossibly fluid grace.

    ¡°Do you¡­ Do you realize what you¡¯ve <em>done</em>?!?¡±

    The Great Seer didn¡¯t truly understand but was happy for him.

    The next echo focused on the Heretic

    Around this same time she, actively hunted by the seers who now wanted her dead, she had fled to the fringes of ¡°civilized space¡±, looking for a species that would ¡°stand the test of time¡±. Using ¡°the colors¡±, their way of scrying, she found the Tol, a delightfully lusty and barbaric people.

    They were thrilled to bits that one of the ¡°First-Bornz¡± showed up and a Tol king, the ¡°Fat King¡± threw a massive feast and celebration thatsted days.

    The Heretic was suspicious at first, but after closer look and getting to know The Fat King better, she decided that he would do quite nicely for her ns.

    At the end of this echo, thest one thus far, she ces a ripe fruit on the grill mystifying the nearby Tol. She then briefly describes caramelizing sugar to enhance vor impressing a nearby servant.

    ¡°Really?¡± the servant asked. ¡°I never thought of that!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s one of many things I will teach you,¡± the th smiled.

    It seems that she intends to ¡°help¡± them but her idea of ¡°help¡± might now be even more twisted by hate than Patricia Hu¡¯s.

    ***

    All of this transpired very very long ago. Current th have absolutely no idea that any of this happened. All that remains of those days is a ¡°mythical¡± Great Prophet who forms the center of their rather strict and mildly repressive (but in a very nice way) religion and a truly impressive thirty-two volume ¡°bible¡±.

    It contains more text than the old <em>Encyclopedia Britannica</em> and still serves as the single guiding light and primary resource for the th people. It isn¡¯t just a ¡°bible¡± as many of us would think of one. It an aprehensive guide to horticulture, herbalism (withplete recipes), agriculture plete with tables predicting cyclic climatic shifts that will be good for millions of years), construction and engineering using native materials, conservation, ecological practices¡­

    Everything¡­

    Every single thing a society needs to maintain a pre-industrial pastoral life is in there!

    The th lived a perfectly stagnant, utterly peaceful life ¡°stuck¡± right where the Great Prophet (and the rest) left them who knows how long ago until first contact with the Federation.

    In a shocking surprise, the bible discusses what to do when this happens along with tips, tricks, and strategies in dealing with them and how to keep their culture stable and safe. (Go figure)

    It¡¯s a miracle! The Great Prophet was clearly a messenger from the creator!

    As far as the fact that <em>the cure for cancer literally grows on a tree</em> along with <em>thousands</em> of other such miracles go, the th never bothered to question it other than they were ¡°blessed by the creators¡± and give credit to most of it to the Great Prophet, his wife, The Gardner, and a host of other ¡°saints¡± that figured out how to use all of these wonderful cures so very long ago.

    If you ask one of them, they believe that just about any has to have nts every bit as good as theirs. If you look, there is usually a dark age or some tragic loss of knowledge in a¡¯s history. Maybe, oh by The Great Prophet!¡­ Maybe they <em>lost</em> their bible? Creators! That would be horrible! Whatever would one do if the bible was lost? Ohhhh that¡¯s making me feel funny! I know! A soothing cup of dream-needle tea! That will make me feel better!

    The average th is just as happy as can be and as snug as a bug in a rug. They don¡¯t really trouble themselves pondering too much about stuff like that. The fact that Matron Gebashorn¡¯s dawn-tubers are fully twice the size of theirs at this point in the growing season? Now <em>that</em> is something to worry about! She is NOT going to win again this year¡­ I swear to poop!

    However, things have sort of gone a little screwy ofte for the th.

    It¡¯s all those nasty human¡¯s fault¡­

    The Terrans are the worst!

    The Federation war shook the th, hard. I mean¡­ the Terrans used weapons that contaminated vast swathsnd, ruining crops, threatening the very world!

    A gigaton-yield salted nuke is <em>ugly</em>¡­ and they <em>were</em> used¡­

    It made the th <em>afraid</em>¡­ Truly afraid for the life of their entire people¡­ their world¡­

    <em>Their world was in danger!</em>

    An ¡°rm clock¡± went off¡­

    And the th have been desperately mashing ¡°snooze¡± ever since¡­

    Massive doses of certain medicinal herbs are being actively cultivated in an emergency measure because they were being over-foraged. (It¡¯s ok¡­ It¡¯s in the bible¡­ It¡¯s best to let them grow naturally but, if you absolutely need to, you can prepare growing beds using the following method¡­)

    What is really distressing is a very dangerous and unhealthy ¡°Terran fascination¡± that is happening among some of the th that were young during the Federation War. They are fixated on all things Terran. They ¡°simply have to know everything about them¡±.

    These disturbed individuals are especially drawn to Terran games, horribly violent ones! I mean¡­ these things are sick! They just¡­ y them over and over¡­ especially military ones¡­

    They study the Terrans like they should be studying the bible! It¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s just <em>wrong</em>!

    Then that horrible horrible¡­ fiend¡­ introduced <em>that game</em> (you know, Federation Fun Time, thebat simtor based on actual Terran training software that you can use to actually engage very realistic Terran units? With an AI so good that you could actually learn something about fighting them? That ¡°horrible¡± game?)

    God I hope they catch that¡­ that <em>Befouler</em>¡­

    These ¡°damaged¡± th don¡¯t ¡°hate¡± the Terrans. They just feel the intrinsic need to get to know them really really really well¡­ The need to know Terran culture, art, music, literature¡­ Anything that helps them understand how a Terran thinks.

    Gentle th society is at a ¡°loss¡± and is trying to ¡°help¡± these th but it seems that some of them might be incurable.

    Most do seem to be reachable though and things are starting to settle down¡­ Or they would if they could just find out where those detestable games areing from!

    Things are slowly starting to return to normal. Most of these Terran stained th are, with care and treatment, able to return to rtively normal life.

    Others that seemed utterly beyond saving just ¡°stopped¡± being ¡°weird¡±, thank the Great Prophet! The prayers of their friends and families must have been heard! (or maybe their ¡®curiosity¡¯ was ¡®satisfied¡¯ and they could finally go back to sleep¡ªwho knows)

    Unfortunately, there are still more¡­ lurking out there¡­ still watching those horrible movies and ying those terrible games¡­

    ***

    What is going on with Sheloran?

    Who knows for sure. There are several things that can be definitely known as true.

    The th are used to having ess to thousands and thousands of ¡°wonder drugs¡± that just pop up out of the ground, possibly for long enough that they have evolved (or devolved) a little. Sheloran has been away from ready ess to many many things that she took for granted, some of which she has clearly stated that she desperately wants.

    There could even bepounds in their staple crops that ¡°help¡± them. That has yet to be confirmed or refuted.

    It¡¯s been more than long enough for any of thesepounds to fully leave her system. Several of them are expressly to ¡°help¡± with strange dreams, recurrent disturbing thoughts, throbbing or pain around the edges of the eyes (specifically those exact symptoms).

    Any of these herbs could be a convenient ¡°off switch¡± for what is going on.

    Conversely, she could be experiencing ¡°malnutrition¡± of a sort and without certain necessarypounds she could be facing increasingly serious symptoms. (Which would make a grim sort of sense¡­ ¡°Heretics¡± are really dangerous. A built in ¡°kill switch¡± wouldn¡¯t be the worst thing now would it?)

    Another possible "mundane" exnation is that when she was in jail, not that terribly long ago, she was given a ¡°vial¡± of malporixlorh extract. In the dream the witch, who was adept in its use, ced <em>two drops</em> on her tongue and then made the decision to add <em>one more</em> and considered it a risk.

    The Terrans dumped a whole test tube of it down her gullet! That might be a little problem¡­ Especially since her entire nervous system had been disrupted about as much as it could be¡­

    And then she was dosed with a truly excessive amount of something that ¡°unlocks and opens¡± things intending it to ¡°reset¡± her brain and help things reconnect...?

    And there are no inhibiting herbs avable¡­

    Hmm¡­

    Probably nothing to worry about¡­

    There is one other potential bit of oddness floating around Sheloran...

    The Great Prophet proimed that his daughter (the mother being The Great Seer) would protect them. His actual daughter is, of course, lost to history...

    It has also been briefly mentioned, but an unofficial but pervasive legend among the rather repressively religious th is that as some sort of ancient pact "The Befouler" was given one th in each generation in exchange for the rest of them. More secr th say that this is a simply myth to exin the asional monstrous act that one th or anothermits. The th are extremely "orderly" and docile so any aberration is both extremely rare and horribly traumatic. They aren''t like us. A killing makesary news. It''s a global event.

    It just "doesn''t happen".

    Sheloran has, of course, been dubbed this generations "Child of the Befouler" and has been conveniently med for both a horribly senseless crime and the "horrible threat" that exposure to Terran culture (games) facing the th represents. She is alsomonly called "The Drop of Oil", alluding to the fact that only a small portion of oil can "Befoul" an entire body of water.

    It''s all <em>her</em> fault. It''s easier for them that way.

    In fact, Sheloran being the "Child of the Befouler" is being shortened to just "The Befouler" both in the pop culture of the and in Sheloran''s own mind.

    The secr th are probably right. It''s all just a convenient myth to exin away the asional "hup" that happens among the th and means absolutely nothing...

 Chapter Sheloran Stumblesâ€”The End of the Weird Crap Pt 1

    Chapter Sheloran Stumbles¡ªThe End of the Weird Crap Pt 1

    ¡°Ma¡¯am!¡± Harval Smythe eximed anxiously as he answered hismunicator.

    The face on the disy was the absolutest person he wanted to face again.

    ¡°Mr. Smythe,¡± Gloria said an a cool emotionless voice.

    ¡°H-how is your yacht?¡± Harval asked, filled with dread. It was perfect¡­ right? Oh God, please let have been perfect!

    ¡°What you made for me isn¡¯t a ¡®ship¡¯, Mr. Smythe,¡± Gloria said, her face perfectly expressionless save for her eyes which began to smolder.

    <em>Oh God!</em>

    ¡°It is¡­¡± Gloria sighed softly, ¡°It is so, so much more¡­ You¡¯ve ruined me, Mr. Smythe. I don¡¯t want to fly anything else ever again.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you are pleased with my work,¡± he said with relief.

    ¡°It is going to bring me so much joy,¡± she said as a faint smile yed briefly across her lips.

    Harval shuddered. He thought her dead eyes, or her angry ones were bad¡­

    They were nothingpared to <em>happy</em>.

    ¡°I wish you luck in sharing your ''happiness'', ma¡¯am.¡±

    Gloria chuckled briefly.

    ¡°Why thank you, Mr. Smythe.¡±

    ¡°So, what can I do for you?¡± he asked.

    ¡°I am truly sorry but I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to tamper with perfection,¡± Gloria said with the faintest trace of irritation. ¡°I need a modification, urgently.¡±

    Harval opened the image file that he received.

    ¡°Huh...¡± he said in surprise. A passenger pod? Why would you even want¡­ Damn¡­ That would work!¡­ But...¡±

    ¡°Problem?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just that your ¡®optional equipment package¡¯ wasn¡¯t designed to be modr,¡± he said as he started dissecting his creation in his mind. ¡°You insisted-¡±

    ¡°And now I¡¯m insisting on something else,¡± Gloria chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m an asshole, but this asshole needs that modification and she needs it <em>now</em>. Can you do it?¡±

    ¡°Who do you think you are talking to? Of course I can,¡± Harval replied. ¡°When can you get here?¡±

    ¡°Open the doors,¡± Gloria replied with a faint smile.

    ***

    ¡°I¡¯m fine, boss!¡± Ploxni said into her bright-green phone with just a touch less good-natured cheer than normal. ¡°Just like I was half an hour ago, and the fifteen minutes before that, and the-¡±

    ¡°And Dave isn¡¯t there?¡± Sheloran asked as she nervously sipped a cup of tea (with just a little bourbon in it).

    ¡°(Sigh) He isn¡¯t supposed to get here until ten,¡± Ploxni replied just a teeny bit annoyed.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Sheloran squeaked. ¡°Just¡­ Just promise you will call me when he gets there, ok?¡±

    ¡°I will. I promise!¡±

    ¡°Ok¡­ Bye¡­ bye¡­ If you need anything...¡±

    ¡°Bye, Boss,¡± Ploxni sighed as she hung up.

    <em>What was up with that woman?</em> Ploxni thought as she wiggled her top half in a shrug.

    Her phone started to beep.

    It was the timer! Time to check the oven!

    She giggled as she rushed off. Dave was going to be so surprised!

    ***

    A shabby electric bus squeaked to a halt at a run-down shelter.

    The doors opened and a motley assortment of xenos ambled out.

    Uhrrbet stepped exited the bus clutching a small canvas bag full of groceries.

    She looked into the bag and smiled.

    It had been a little while since she had fresh produce!

    She was going do a stir-fry, Terran style!

    Her son loved those!

    Then, a lovely soup with the trimmings and bits! It was going to be so <em>nice</em>!

    She knew that she shouldn¡¯t have splurged. She hadn¡¯t actually sold anything, after all. Sheloran, Creators bless her, tried to exin. It was something about Republicborws or something, but she had been assured it was going to be ok. They just had to take care of some legal stuff!

    She just couldn¡¯t help it! Those tomatoes were just too pretty!

    It would all be just fine! Sheloran said so!

    Humming happily to herself she turned the corner next to her apartment building.

    She stopped humming.

    Leaning against a van were two Threen.

    ¡°Well, hello, Uhrrbet,¡± the biggest of them growled.

    ¡°Uh¡­ Hi, Hrog,¡± she stammered as she tried to hurry past.

    ¡°Where, do you think you¡¯re going,¡± Hrog sneered as his partner moved to block her path.

    She looked over at a passing acquaintance with terrified eyes. They just ducked their head and hurried past.

    ¡°I¡­ I paid you...¡± she said helplessly.

    ¡°Yeah, and then you went and told everyone how you did it, didn¡¯t ya?¡± Hrog hissed as they closed in around her. ¡°You like being that frog¡¯s little messenger girl? Well¡­ we got a message for <em>her</em>!¡±

    Uhrrbet screamed as they grabbed her and threw her into the van.

    ***

    As Dave¡¯s beat-up e-car auto navigated along the interstate he smiled to himself.

    <em>Ploxni</em>¡­

    He pulled a bag up from the floorboard and looked inside.

    Onions¡­ but not just any onions. Organic miniatures, hand-grown, shipped in straight from Japan!

    Ploxni loved onions and these were supposedly the best. For what they cost they fucking better be! He couldn¡¯t tell the difference but Ploxni? She was an onion connoisseur!

    He looked down at his new shirt! He had lost five whole pounds, not that you could really tell, but it was still a tiny little victory. Ploxni didn¡¯t care. She liked his ¡°fun shape¡±.

    It mattered to him though. After the war he had just given up, given up on life, family, career, everything¡­

    and, after awhile, everyone had given up on him.

    That all changed when he stumbled into a strange coffee shop he had heard about in one of the darker corners of the inte, a ce where you could¡­

    where you could meet the love of your life, a strange little pink whatsit.

    He knew he shouldn¡¯t have let himself fall for a whore, and a xeno one at that, but goddammit, he was happy! Yeah, it sounded pathetic, but the happiest, proudest moment of his life wasn¡¯t when they hung that bronze star around his neck. It was when a little xeno whore didn¡¯t want his money anymore.

    She just wanted him to stay with her, let her fall asleep in his arms.

    He smiled as the car exited the interstate and rolled into the Free Port.

    It wouldn¡¯t be long now.

    <em>Wait...</em>

    An all too familiar light flickered ahead.

    <em>mes!</em>

    His gut tightened. He hated fire. He even couldn¡¯t stand a lit candle anymore. Ever since the war, ever since Yul-4¡­

    It was ok. It was just a fire. Fires happen, even now.

    He took a deep breath.

    This wasn¡¯t Yul-4. It wasn¡¯t! It was over! The fire department would¡­

    <em>Oh¡­ no...</em>

    He knew what was burning!

    The onions tumbled from hisp as he switched the car to manual and floored it.

    ***

    Dave¡¯s car slid to a screeching halt in the Drop of Oil¡¯s parking lot.

    The whole ce was in mes!

    ¡°Plox!¡± he yelled. ¡°Ploxni!¡±

    He ran towards the front. The entire lobby waspletely engulfed in mes with thick ck smoke belching out of the shattered windows.

    He smelled burning oil.

    This wasn¡¯t an ident!

    ¡°Ploxni!¡± he screamed.

    There was no way he could get in through the front. It was a solid wall of me.

    He sprinted around the side of the building, heading for the back.

    As he ran he heard a weak squeak, followed by a ¡°thump¡± and an inhumanugh.

    ¡°Throw her back in,¡± something chuckled.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you want to have some fun first?¡± something else asked.

    ¡°No time. We gotta get outta-¡±

    Dave tore around the corner¡­

    Lying there, motionless, was Ploxni, his little Ploxni¡­

    He looked at the three Threen surrounding her¡­

    They looked at him and sneered, all of them reaching for something.

    He roared and charged¡­

    ***

    click¡­ click click click¡­ click click¡­

    Craxina looked over at Sheloran, sitting there with that damned VR head-thingy covering her face, just clicking away.

    She just sighed. At least she got her to stop climbing the walls. She didn¡¯t even want to y her stupid game. Craxina had to almost put the head-thingy on her herself. Fortunately once she started ying she settled on down.

    Sheloran¡¯s phone rang.

    ¡°I got it!¡± Craxina yelled.

    <em>It¡¯s almost ten!</em> Craxina thought happily as she noticed the time. <em>Dave must have gotten there! Maybe now Sheloran will actually rx!</em>

    ¡°Hello?¡± she said in a happy voice as she answered¡­

    ***

    Craxina and Sheloran burst into the ICU in a blind panic.

    Craxina looked expectantly at Sheloran but she was just standing there silently making those fucking weird hissing noises.

    Not knowing exactly what to do, Craxina looked about helplessly. There was a human male in a white jumpsuit sitting behind a desk.

    Craxina ran over.

    ¡°Good even-¡± the human started to say

    ¡°Ploxni!¡± Craxina shouted. ¡°Whereisshe?!? Isshegoingtobeok!?!?¡±

    ¡°Ploxni?¡± the human asked. ¡°Oh yes! The pink-¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s her!¡± Craxina shouted almost climbing up on the desk.

    ¡°All I can say is that she is being treated here at this facility,¡± the human replied. ¡°Can you help us get in touch with her next-of-kin?¡±

    ¡°We <em>are</em> them!!!¡± Craxina yelled as Sheloran, clutching her tightly closed eyes, wandered up.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, ma¡¯am, but Republicw prohibits us from discussing-¡±

    ¡°We are all she has,¡± Sheloran said quietly with an ominous hiss. ¡°You <em>will</em> take us to her¡­ <em>now</em>...¡±

    ¡°I-¡±

    ¡°<em>Now</em>...¡±

    The nurse looked at Sheloran nervously. The little fox-weasel was just upset but that frog-thing was giving off <em>Terran</em> vibes. That little thing was about to go Yellowstone.

    ¡°Look,¡± he said in his ¡°talk down the Terran family before they start shooting¡± voice. ¡°There arews.¡±

    ¡°<em>Flush</em> your <em>pathetic</em>ws,¡± Sheloran hissed as she slowly opened her eyes.

    ¡°Jesus,¡± the nurse muttered as things started to <em>squirm</em> around under the skin surrounding them.

    He calmly slid his hand under the desk feeling for the little button that would silent summon the hospital¡¯s ¡°crisis intervention team¡±, a squad that every Terran hospital had on staff. (Terrans sometimes don¡¯t take bad news very well.)

    Sheloran recognized the move. She had done it herself once.

    She hissed.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to do that, <em>poop-head</em>...¡±

    ¡°Wait!¡± Craxina eximed. ¡°The union!¡±

    The nurse stopped just before he pressed the switch. If there was abor union involved¡­

    ¡°Union?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Call them!¡± Craxina squeaked. ¡°I¡¯m her manager and Sheloran here is her procurer!¡±

    Craxina turned to Sheloran.

    ¡°Show him!¡± Craxina squealed. ¡°Show him your card!¡±

    Sheloran hissed and tossed her union identification on the desk.

    ¡°Oh, ok!¡± the nurse replied. ¡°She didn¡¯t have any ID on her when she showed up and the human with her wasn¡¯t able to say much.¡±

    ¡°Dave?!?¡± Craxina yelped. ¡°What happened to Dave?!?¡±

    ¡°All I can say is-¡±

    ¡°Grrrraagh!¡± Craxina shrieked.

    The nurse smiled a little.

    ¡°He saved her life.¡± he said. ¡°Three against one and they still lost! That isn¡¯t covered by any medical privacyws. He even managed to call it in. Good thing too! He was the only one who reported it. A building explodes and nobody sees it?¡±

    ¡°<em>Harkeen...</em>¡± Sheloran spat.

    ¡°Harkeen?¡±

    Sheloran hissed angrily.

    ¡°Threen mafia!¡± Craxina replied. ¡°But screw that! What about Ploxni!?!¡±

    ¡°Ploxni, nost name. Registered member of Sex Workers guild,¡± the nurse said as he read the screen. ¡°Emergency points of contact, Craxina Floofbottom and Sheloran, nost name.¡±

    The nurse sighed in relief. One crisis averted. Whatever that frog-thing is definitely going to do isn¡¯t going to start in his ward.

    ¡°Let me call the xenologist,¡± he said as he reached for amunicator.

    ***

    ¡°I¡¯ll be straight with you,¡± an old Kalesha said as Craxina and Sheloran stared at Ploxni¡¯s unconscious body lying inside a clear polymer bubble. ¡°It isn¡¯t good.¡±

    ¡°Ohhhh,¡± Craxina squealed as she pressed her face against the clear membrane.

    Plonxi was lying naked covered only with some sort of clear gel.

    Craxina looked away, her eyes blinded by tears. Oh she was burned so bad!

    ¡°Her race isn¡¯t terribly advanced and as a new subject of the Empire they haven¡¯t had time to develop their medical science,¡± the Kalesha said gravely. ¡°We have literally nothing to work with aside from some herbs, most of which arepletely ineffective, and a few mineral basedpounds half of which are actually toxic.¡±

    ¡°Their herbs don¡¯t work?¡± Sheloran asked in surprise, momentarily snapping back into reality.

    ¡°They aren¡¯t the th,¡± the Kalesha said sadly. ¡°Their botanical pharmacopoeia is worlds away from what you are used to. It¡¯s <em>universes</em> away. Mosts are, actually.¡±

    ¡°You know about me?¡±

    ¡°I was involved in your prison incident,¡± the Kalesha replied. ¡°Most xenologists in the city were. If you have timeter I would love to ask you some-¡±

    ¡°Later,¡± Sheloran replied icily, ¡°What about Ploxni?¡±

    ¡°As I said, it¡¯s not good. The burns are serious and extensive but the real problem is tissue oxygenation. Her species¡¯s unique physiology isn¡¯t terribly efficient when ites to breathing. They rely on gas exchange through their skin for as much as anything else and both her crude ¡®lungs¡¯ and her skin have both been badly damaged. We have slowed down her vitals as much as we could and we have shoved her in this stone-aged contraption, an oxygen-tent, and increased the ambient oxygen levels as high as we can as well as have exactly recreated her native environment but even so...¡±

    The old Kalesha just looked at her tablet and sighed.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t know.¡± she said sadly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry but all we can do is wait.¡±

    ¡°Whatever¡­¡± Sheloran said as she closed her eyes. ¡°Whatever it takes, whatever it <em>costs</em>...¡±

    ¡°Cost is one thing you don¡¯t have to concern yourself with,¡± the Kalesha said as she gently ced a tendril on Sheloran¡¯s shoulder. ¡°We take care of people here in the Republic, even xeno-¡±

    The words froze in her voice-tube as Sheloran whirled and red at her.

    ¡°You <em>take care of people</em>?¡± Sheloran squeak-hissed. ¡°How <em>dare</em> you!¡±

    The old doctor backed away in fear as Sheloran advanced, shaking with rage.

    ¡°We take care of people here in the Republic, even xenos,¡± Sheloran said in a mocking sardonic voice as the skin around her eyes started to ripple as she backed the doctor against the wall.

    Craxina threw herself in between them and started to push Sheloran away.

    ¡°Come on, Shel,¡± Craxi said urgently. ¡°She¡¯s trying to help.¡±

    ¡°Do you have <em>any</em> idea what I <em>fucking</em> see on a daily basis?¡± Sheloran screamed. ¡°I have peopleing in day after day after day begging for me to let them suck DICK just so they maybe, MAYBE can be able to keep a SHITTY apartment over their child¡¯s head! And you want to know the really horrible thing? The ones that suck dick for me <em>are the lucky ones!</em> Do you think I <em>want</em> to run a whorehouse? Do you? DO YOU?!?¡±

    ¡°Shel, please...¡± Craxina purred actively holding Sheloran back.

    The old doctor just stood there in shock.

    ¡°<em>I just wanted to sell games</em>,¡± Sheloran wailed, ¡°and coffee. That¡¯s it! That¡¯s all I wanted to do! But my people needed more¡­ So¡­ So I tried to provide for them¡­ <em>protect</em> them¡­ Give them a safe ce to sell their <em>bodies</em>¡­ That¡¯s now well your ¡®precious¡¯ Republic has cared for them, you <em>stupid</em> woman!¡­ A lot of my people don¡¯t even want to do it¡­ They don¡¯t¡­ They sell their bodies because <em>it¡¯s the only thing they have left to sell!</em>¡±

    ¡°Shel,¡± Craxina yelped anxiously. ¡°C¡¯mon. It¡¯s not that bad.¡±

    I mean, it couldn¡¯t, right? That <em>can¡¯t</em> be right. It can¡¯t be!

    ¡°They pretend to smile andugh,¡± Sheloran wailed, ¡°But I can hear the <em>music</em> of their despair¡­ I can see the <em>colors</em> of their tears¡­ It <em>hurts</em>¡­ It <em>hurts so bad</em> but I do it. I take their money and I let it all happen right in front of me because <em>they need me</em>. Because if I don¡¯t something <em>horrible</em> will happen to a lot of them¡­ So I became a <em>pimp</em>¡­ A th pimp!¡­ Great Prophet forgive me¡­¡±

    Sheloran started to weep.

    As she sagged into her arms, Craxina felt sick.

    ¡°Sheloran, I¡¯m so sorry!¡± she squealed. ¡°I didn¡¯t know! It¡¯s all my fault!¡±

    Sheloran grabbed her.

    ¡°No!¡± she said forcefully. ¡°It¡¯s NOT your fault! It NEVER was! None of this is your fault! Never say that!¡±

    ¡°But I made all of this happen!¡± She squealed. ¡°I hurt you so bad and I didn¡¯t even know it! If I hadn¡¯t made you let me use your ce none of this would have happened! And I was the one who brought¡­ Oh Creators¡­ I was the one who drug Ploxni into¡­ into...¡±

    Craxina started to squeal.

    ¡°I killed Ploxni!¡± Craxina wailed.

    Sheloran justughed sadly through her tears.

    ¡°Do you have <em>any</em> idea what would have happened to Ploxni if you hadn¡¯t brought her to me?¡± Sheloran asked. ¡°She would have been brutally raped and killed within <em>days</em>. You didn¡¯t ¡®make¡¯ me take her in. In fact, there was no way in all that is that I would have let her leave! I understand that now. There is no avoiding it.¡±

    ¡°Sheloran, you aren¡¯t making any sense,¡± Craxina said anxiously. <em>Oh Creators, I¡¯ve finally pushed her over the edge! It¡¯s all my fault!</em>

    ¡°Stop saying that it¡¯s your fault!¡± Sheloran eximed as she shook her.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± Craxina mumbled in shock.

    ¡°Well you were about to!¡± Sheloran snapped. ¡°You <em>weren¡¯t safe</em> and you needed me. If I hadn¡¯t taken you home with me that day¡­ Oh Craxi...¡± Sheloran sobbed as her eyes zed over. ¡°It was horrible! I couldn¡¯t let that happen to anyone, especially you! It¡¯s <em>their</em> fault, that¡­ <em>Threen</em> and his sick, sick friends! What they did to you¡­ and I just abandoned you on that bench, one of the only people who had been really nice to me since I got here, just because you were a dirty whore and I didn¡¯t want to catch cooties! I¡¯m so sorry!¡± she sobbed. ¡°I could have stopped it!¡±

    ¡°They didn¡¯t do anything!¡± Craxina replied. ¡°You stopped them, got me out of there.¡±

    ¡°If only I had saved you,¡± Sheloran wailed looking at her with wild eyes. ¡°Then maybe I wouldn¡¯t have¡­ Oh I did some<em> bad things</em>, Craxi¡­¡±

    ¡°Sheloran!¡± Craxina shouted shaking her. ¡°You¡¯re talking crazy!¡± she screamed as panic started to grip her. Nothing happened! Right? No! She didn¡¯t die! She was right here! Then why was she more terrified than she had ever been in her entire life?

    ¡°<em>Sheloran!!!</em>¡± Craxina screamed as she instinctively nipped Sheloran¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Ow!¡± Sheloran squeaked as <em>something</em> came crashing down around her. ¡°Why did you do that?!?¡±

    ¡°Because you wouldn¡¯t stop shaking me!¡± Craxina yelped, ¡°¡­ and you were really scaring me!¡±

    ¡°Was I?¡± Sheloran asked with a confused tone.

    ¡°Ms. Sheloran,¡± the doctor said gently, ¡°You seem to be experiencing a great deal of distress, a perfectly reasonable reaction considering the circumstances. I we have enough data that I could prescribe something that would help you rx if-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine!¡± Sheloran hissed. ¡°Poor Sheloran is distressed, she needs more pooping tea! Why can¡¯t you settle down, Sheloran? Here eat these nasty berries! They will ¡®fix¡¯ you!¡± she snapped. ¡°You got into a fight at school again? Did you eat your special breakfast this morning? I don¡¯t care if he pushed you! He needed a splint! I guess it¡¯s time to go see old Matron Geruna again...¡±

    ¡°It was only a suggest-¡± the doctor started to say but Sheloran really wasn¡¯t listening.

    ¡°Why can¡¯t you be like the other little girls? Don¡¯t you want to have a boyfriend someday?¡± Sheloran ranted. ¡°Do you think I want to be this way? Do you think I <em>like</em> being different? I didn¡¯t ask to be born this way¡­ to be pooping <em>designed</em> this way! <em>I just wanted a to work in a bank!</em>¡­ I just wanted a <em>boyfriend</em>!¡­ I didn¡¯t want any of this!¡­ <em>I don¡¯t want any of this!</em>¡± Sheloran sobbed.

    ¡°<em>I just want to go home!</em>¡± Sheloran wailed as Craxina desperately hugged her. ¡°I just want to go home!¡±

    Sheloran just copsed into Craxina¡¯s arms,pletely broken.

    ***

    Craxina just sat there holding Sheloran. Cuddles always helped¡­ right?

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± Craxina said soothingly. ¡°You don¡¯t have to do this anymore, ok?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± Sheloran moaned weakly. ¡°My people¡­ need...¡±

    ¡°<em>Your people</em> will be just fine,¡± Craxina purred. ¡°We¡¯re tough. We¡¯ll figure something out. First thing tomorrow we¡¯ll call the union and-¡±

    The Kalesha xenobiologist walked up.

    ¡°How are you doing?¡± she asked Sheloran with just a bit too much concern.

    Sheloran wiped her eyes. It was just tears, refreshingly normal tears. Her eyes hadn¡¯t throbbed anymore since she ¡°lost¡±.

    Yeah, she lost. It was over. She just wasn¡¯t strong enough. She was a fool to think that she could have been otherwise.

    Schoolyard bullies are one thing, the Harkeen are another. She had made a terrible mistake and had learned her lesson.

    She would never cross them, or anyone like them, ever again!

    It just wasn¡¯t worth it. Nothing was worth this¡­

    ¡°Well, I have some good news¡­ I think...¡±

    Craxina and Sheloran looked up hopefully.

    ¡°They are confusing little things but if I¡¯m reading this right it looks like Ploxni¡¯s blood oxygen levels are stable. Horribly low, but stable.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good, right?¡± Craxina asked.

    ¡°Well it¡¯s not bad and right now, I¡¯ll take it!¡± the old Kalesha smiled. ¡°Now we just keep pumping the O2 in and give her a chance to heal.¡±

    ¡°What about Dave?¡±

    ¡°Oh he¡¯ll live,¡± the doctor replied with a wiggle of her eyestalks. ¡°His ¡®unhealthy¡¯ lifestyle actually wound up saving his life. There was just too much of him to cut (or st) through.¡±

    ¡°Thank the Great Prophet!¡± Sheloran sighed.

    ¡°In fact you will probably see him soon,¡± the Kaleshaughed. ¡°They have had to sedate him twice already and it took a small army to do it each time. It seems that he is not entirely made of blubber!¡±

    ¡°We should go see him!¡± Craxina eximed starting to get up.

    ¡°Take your time. We made sure to put him down with thatst dose. He¡¯ll probably be out till morning.¡±

    ***

    Deep in the lost reaches of time, the Heretic slumped in front of a shimmering pool,pletely spent.

    That was close.

    The instrument of her revenge, the seed bearer, almost wasted itself over a filthy rabble of barely sapient <em>animals</em>.

    ¡°You do not want this¡­ It is not worth it...¡± She whispered once more into the pool, focusing all of her strength onest time.

    Still, all was not quite right with the colors. Something had changed.

    The Seed Bearer was strong, as well she should be. But it was almost too much of a good thing. She fought each whirl, each shimmer. Each time the Heretic tried to make an adjustment, she would try to ¡°adjust¡± right back causing chaotic eddies with each freshyer.

    It mattered not. The past was fixed therefore the future was set¡­

    Well, almost set. Her tool fought like a cornered fanged tolbane. Why did it struggle so? How could it struggle so? Each time she made an adjustment her tool became ¡°smarter¡±, more adept at undoing everything. From where did it get its skill? All of the sacred writings should be lost at that point. No matter how powerful that lost seer is it should be able to do nothing without the guiding light of the ancient texts.

    Which it doesn¡¯t have¡­ yet¡­ Not yet¡­

    In the end it would not matter. Her present was the Seed Bearer¡¯s past. The past determines the future. This is a fundamental naturalw. Without that sacred needle holding the fabric of space and time in ce, all would descend into chaos. It would truly be the end of all that is.

    Nothing escapes its fate, not even the progenitors themselves. So let the little thing fight. The oue is already decided. It was a little sad though. She hade to like this ¡°ghost¡±. For her designs to be made manifest her little Seed Bearer¡¯s fate would not be a pleasant one, a necessary sacrifice for the greater good.

    The Seed Bearer wasn¡¯t the only one who had to make sacrifices. This cost her as well, decades of exile among nearly mindless savages without even the art to sustain her. Using the pool was now so terribly risky, so fraught with peril, that she only allowed herself its use for this one project and this one project alone. At least her struggles with her Seed Bearer provided some entertainment.

    A ray of sunlight passed through a small crystal lens illuminating a tiny nt. A slender flower opened it¡¯s blossom emitting a gentle fragrance. It was precisely somewhat past midday.

    Speaking of sacrifices, it was time to leave the tower that the Tol had built for her and proceed to the lecture hall.

    Who would have thought that those clothing averse savages would find ¡°skweul¡± more fun than anything?

    She just wished they would stop throwing the writing desks at each other.

 Chapter Sheloran Loses Her Temper Just a Little Bit. End of the Weird Crap (2)

    Chapter Sheloran Loses Her Temper Just a Little Bit. End of the Weird Crap (2)

    ¡°Thank you, Sheloran,¡± Dave said as they rolled his bed into Ploxni¡¯s room. Medical care was free in the Republic.

    Anyone could receive treatment free of cost, especially in emergency situations. It didn¡¯t cost a single credit.

    However, it did turn out that there were ¡°luxuries¡± and ¡°options¡± that a few (thousand) credits could obtain. ¡°Luxury amodations¡± were one of these. Since Dave was stable, having his bed moved into Ploxni¡¯s room was a rtively simple affair.

    ¡°It¡¯s the least I can do,¡± Sheloran said, trying to smile.

    ¡°She tried to fight the fire,¡± Dave said. ¡°She wanted you to know that. She tried.¡±

    Sheloran looked over at Ploxni¡¯s terribly burned body, fighting back tears.

    ¡°Why?¡± she squeaked in a little voice. ¡°She should have just ran¡­ It¡­ It was just a building...¡±

    ¡°Maybe to you,¡± Dave said. ¡°But to her it was <em>home</em>, the first one she ever really had.¡±

    <em>Home...</em>

    Sheloran twitched.

    ¡°She loved that ce, you know.¡± Dave said sadly.

    ¡°I did too,¡± Sheloran replied in a small sad voice.

    <em>The Drop of Oil is gone!</em> Sheloran realized. She had been so worried about Ploxni that she hadn¡¯t even bothered thinking about it before now. The ce that she had invested so much of herself all this time¡­ gone. Her business, her livelihood, destroyed.

    <em>Her ¡°fields¡± ruined...</em>

    Sheloran didn¡¯t even notice, but deep within her brain a tiny nd, a shriveled vestigial relic now only a tiny clump of cells, received a single tiny little neural impulse.

    <em>How were her people going to feed themselves now?</em>

    At the base of her spine, two tiny little lobes started to swell¡­ just a little bit¡­ then stopped. No. They weren¡¯t ¡°her people¡± anymore. There were plenty of ces that they could find work. They will be just fine.

    She could stop. She could end this madness before anyone else gets hurt.

    <em>And the Harkeen, and a dozen others just like them would take over the Free Port once more...</em>

    Blood started to flow into that tiny little nd in her brain...

    ¡°Sheloran?¡± Dave asked.

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran replied with a start. ¡°Sorry, I must have drifted off there. What did you say?¡±

    ¡°I was just saying how much she loves you guys,¡± Dave said.

    ¡°Well we love her too,¡± Sheloran squeaked helplessly as she looked at Ploxni. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Dave. Even though I¡¯m out of business I¡¯ll always take care of Ploxni¡­ somehow...¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re quitting?!?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do this anymore,¡± Sheloran squeaked miserably. ¡°Ploxni almost died! If you hadn¡¯t been there, she¡­ No,¡± Sheloran said with a regretful little sigh. ¡°I won¡¯t let anyone else get hurt because of me. The best move is to just quit.¡±

    ¡°But the girls-¡±

    ¡°There are other brothels,¡± Sheloran said, cutting him off.

    ¡°But they aren¡¯t <em>home</em>,¡± Dave said wistfully.

    ¡°Stop calling it that!¡± Sheloran squealed. ¡°It wasn¡¯t a ¡®home¡¯!¡±

    ¡°It was to Ploxni,¡± Dave said sadly. ¡°for a lot of other people too...¡±

    Dave¡¯s eyes misted over.

    ¡°It was home for me...¡±

    Tears started flowing down Sheloran¡¯s cheeks as images of everyone smiling andughing, even the ones who weren¡¯t ¡°happy¡± with things¡­ with what they had to do¡­

    She had made it better, at least a little bit.

    <em>It was home. It was YOUR PEOPLE¡¯S HOME.</em>

    A tiny insignificant nd in Sheloran¡¯s brain started to leak out the barest trickle of¡­ something¡­

    She started to feel, not angry, not exactly¡­

    It was something else, quieter, but much much stronger.

    ¡°Um, Sheloran?¡± Craxina said in a strangled voice as she walked into the room.

    Clutching Craxina¡¯s hand, was a trembling young garthra.

    ***

    ¡°Uhrrbet!¡± Sheloran gasped as she stood in front of her bed. Uhrrbet had been savagely beaten¡­

    And raped¡­

    Repeatedly¡­

    Credit where credit was due. The Harkeen stopped <em>just</em> short of doing anything that would immediately threaten her life.

    They wanted her to live.

    Sheloran just stood there in horror.

    ¡°They tol¡¯ me,¡± her young son said, ¡°They tol¡¯ me that this was ¡®cause of you. They said that you made them have to do this.¡±

    Sheloran just reached out and took Uhrrbet¡¯s hand.

    Uhrrbet¡¯s turned to look at her, her eye almost swollen shut.

    ¡°I¡­¡± Uhrrbet said in a quiet sad little voice. ¡°I really wish I could have made those dresses, Ms. Sheloran...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m so, so sorry,¡± Sheloran said fighting back yet more tears. ¡°I should have never gotten you involved.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s my fault,¡± Uhrrbet said in a meek, utterly defeated voice. ¡°I should have just done what I was supposed to and not caused any trouble. It would have been nice though¡­ making¡­ dresses...¡±

    Sheloran squeezed her eyes tight as they started to squirm.

    <em>My people defeated¡­ victimized¡­ all is lost...</em>

    Nutrients flooded into that tiny nd. The parched, starving cells started gorging themselves¡­

    And <em>dividing</em>¡­

    ***

    Sheloran stiffened as an image of Uhrrbet, with dingy matted fur, curled up in the corner of a darkened room filled her consciousness.

    The door opened and, with a disgusting chuckle, <em>something</em> walked in.

    Uhrrbet numbly stood up and started taking off her stained dress.

    The vision shifted.

    Not that muchter (she knew it wasn¡¯t that much longer) and Uhrrbet was lying on the floor looking at the dimly glowing image of her son.

    She missed him so much.

    She opened a little bottle and poured all of the pills into her little paw.

    She swallowed them and with, a tired little sigh, she curled up on the floor.

    Dreaming of dresses, her suffering finally ended.

    ***

    Sheloran gasped and staggered back, quickly letting go of Uhrrbet¡¯s hand.

    <em>It¡¯s going to happen, and not just to her. Nobody will save them.</em>

    She suddenly realized that nobody did ¡°union registration drives¡± in the Free Port except for her. Nobody. Nobody went where she went. Nobody registered who she registered.

    And too many of the people she sent to other brothels came back¡­

    She hadn¡¯t really noticed before. She hadn¡¯t wanted to. Why were so many of theming back?

    It was for the same reason they weren¡¯t recruited in the first ce. They were weird-looking little xenos, and Federation ones at that! Nobody wanted their ¡°ssy¡± brothel turned into a ¡°petting zoo for freaks¡±!

    She could <em>see</em> the ugly colors of her ¡°sisters¡± in the union¡¯s sneers at <em>her people</em>. She could <em>hear</em> the dissonant tones of their whispers, their mutterings.

    <em>Her people wouldn¡¯t be safe! There would be nowhere for them to go! And then, when they resorted to what they would have to do in order to survive, the union would have an excuse to turn their backs on them!</em>

    <em>...Craxi!</em>

    Sheloran gasped as a terrible vision filled her mind. Craxina,ying dead in the street, with a union registration tablet on the ground next to her. She wouldn¡¯t give up, would she? She would keep trying¡­ <em>Oh Creators...</em>

    The nd in her brain started to swell as it started releasing an ever increasing cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters.

    <em><strong>The Free Port, your home, will fall. Your people will fall.</strong></em>

    Her breath starteding out in shuddering gasps. It felt like she was burning.

    ¡°You have to get out of here,¡± Uhrrbet said weakly. ¡°They said that you¡¯re next.¡±

    <em><strong>They areing for you. Who will protect them then? Who will protect your people?</strong></em>

    Sheloran¡¯s legs gave out and Craxina rushed to catch her.

    Craxina gasped. Sheloran was burning up.

    <em>¡°Eaagghh!¡±</em> Sheloran cried as she clutched at her eyes.

    ¡°S-sheloran?¡± Craxina asked anxiously. ¡°Are you-¡±

    A quiet little ¡°squish¡± could be heard as dozens of little ducts around the edges of Sheloran¡¯s eyes finally tore open and a thick greasy, waxy substance forced its way under her eyelids.

    The strange grease melted instantly coating the entire surface of each of her eyes.

    It burned.

    Sheloran screamed. It felt like her eyes were melting!

    <em><strong>Your people need you¡­ NOW</strong></em>

    ***

    ¡°Sheloran!¡± Craxina screamed as her best friend writhed on the floor.

    <em>¡°RrraaAAAaaaAAaaaeeeEEee¡±</em> Sheloran screamed and then fell silent and motionless.

    ¡°Help!¡± Craxina screamed. ¡°Somebody help!¡±

    <em>Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss</em>

    <em>Oh no</em>, Craxina thought as she backed away. <em>It¡¯s happening again.</em> She wasn¡¯t sure exactly what ¡°it¡± was. All she knew was that it scared the hell out of her.

    Suddenly, Sheloran¡¯s limp body was ¡°pulled¡± onto it¡¯s feet, almost as if suspended by strings.

    A horrible tearing sound came from behind Sheloran¡¯s closed eyelids.

    Sheloran¡¯ s eye¡¯s opened.

    Craxina screamed.

    ***

    Karen was doing her rounds when she suddenly heard some xeno cry for help. She dropped what she was doing and started to rush towards the disturbance, along with a dozen other nurses and assorted staff.

    There was another scream, a <em>horrifying </em>one.

    What happened next was something that she would remember for the rest of her life.

    There was this <em>sound</em>¡­ a pure musical note¡­

    Then a chord¡­

    Then¡­ Try as she might she has never been able to describe what she heard¡­ not really¡­

    It was <em>beautiful</em>, and <em>alien</em>¡­

    And <em>terrifying</em>¡­

    Then, <em>it</em> walked into the hall, the single most <em>alien</em> thing she has ever or likely will ever see. It was little, dressed in a simple home-spun frilly smock with aicallyrge bow on it¡¯s head¡­

    With strangely glowing eyes swirling with colors she had never seen before nor wished to ever see again.

    It started to walk towards her as it continued to sing a weird, alien song, moving with an impossibly perfect fluid grace.

    It stopped, seemingly lost in thought for a moment as if pondering something truly important.

    It up at Karen and smiled, the nicest warmest most friendly smile she had ever seen as it reached up and grasped one end of the ribbon on its head slowly pulling the bow apart.

    It looked at the ribbon briefly and, with the saddest little sigh, let the ribbon slip through its fingers and fall to the ground.

    It opened its mouth once again and began to sing as it walked towards the exit.

    She and every single other person on that floor all instinctively snapped upright, their right-arms swiftly crossing their chest as it sang,

    <em>O Fortuna,</em>

    <em>Velut luna,</em>

    <em>Statu variabilis...</em>

    She stood there just rooted to the spot until the voice faded away. To this day she wishes <em>someone</em> had recorded it¡­

    After it (she, as theyter found out) finally disappeared and that unearthly voice finally faded away an orderly turned to her.

    ¡°What the <em>fuck</em>?¡± he asked.

    ¡°I have no idea,¡± she replied. ¡°I do know one thing.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°I know which room she walked out of and I know why that poor creature is in there.¡± Karen said her lips starting to curl into a vicious little smirk.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Somebody¡¯s about to get what¡¯sing¡± Karen replied.

    Sheloran continued to sing as she glided, with a level of grace that Patricia Hu <em>wishes</em> she had, through the hospital and out the front doors.

    ***

    Gregory yed ¡°Attack of the Shade Legends¡± on his mobile as he kicked back in his hover cab.

    Yeah, most cabs were automated, but some folks liked that personal touch¡­

    Or were in a position where they needed it, like around a hospital or starport¡­

    or both¡­

    That¡¯s why he liked to prowl around this ce, the closest hospital to the star port. It wasn¡¯t exactly predatory. He honestly liked helping people who were lost.

    That was the service he provided. People would wander up, sometimes unable to say a single word of Terran, with only the vaguest notion of where they wanted to go. Sometimes they couldn¡¯t even speak Imperial or Fed (he knew both, and a few more besides¡ªhe was good atnguages) and could only point at a picture on a screen (he had made a really nice app).

    A lot of people just couldn¡¯t understand why someone ¡°of his talents¡± would ¡°waste¡± themselves on a low-end job like a cab driver. His parents certainly couldn¡¯t.

    But prowling the night, gathering up the lost, and guiding them was his jam!

    A beep filled the cab, a proximity rm! Well, not exactly. The external sensors detected someone and his custom AI determined that they were ¡°looking¡± at him and heading in his direction.

    Most of what he made that he didn¡¯t eat went right back into his ride.

    He even slept in it. His ¡°living room¡± was tiny but oh was it ever nice!

    He looked at the screen. It was a little thing, kinda like a cute little frog¡­

    But it had some <em>freaky</em> eyes!

    It sort of drifted along, definitely out of ce.

    <em>Yep, definitely one of mine...</em> he thought as he closed his game and raised the back of his seat to a more upright position.

    The little frog-girl (it was wearing a ¡°dress¡±) paused and pulled out a small pistol.

    ¡°Nope,¡± he muttered as he pressed the lockdown button on his dash. The doors silently double-locked and a deflector screen switched on.

    He watched as the frog-girl made face and tossed the pistol in to a garbage can with such disdain he could see it from across the street.

    He started to reach for the ¡°ckout¡± switch as she started to continue towards him but paused at thest moment.

    <em>She needed him!</em> Well, she needed someone¡­

    And she was just too interesting looking. She would be great for his cab-cam! His vlog made him as much as his fares and he just <em>knew</em> she would make some great footage.

    He pressed a button, opening the rear doors and she got in.

    ¡°Hello!¡± he said cheerfully. ¡°Gregory¡¯s the name and driving¡¯s the game! Where can I take you?¡±

    Sheloran just sat there, unblinking, her eyes burning with a thousand colors.

    ¡°Um¡­ Hello?¡± he asked. Man! Was she <em>freaky</em>! This was great!

    ¡°...Store...¡± Sheloran said in an unearthly voice after a few moments.

    ¡°What do you want to buy?¡±

    ¡°...everything...¡±

    ¡°Everything?¡± Gregory asked thoughtfully. ¡°Well, at this time of night, ¡®everything¡¯ is the Barn-Mart Ultra!¡±

    ¡°...ok...¡±

    Gregory smiled and punched in the destination. The car quietly rolled forward and off into the night.

    ***

    About an hourter Gregory was sitting in the Barn-Mart¡¯s parking lot waiting expectantly.

    The frog-girl didn¡¯t talk, at all, no matter how hard he tried to start a conversation.

    It was looking like the vlog was going to be a bust on this one. Still, he didn¡¯t mind. His passenger was the living embodiment of ¡°lost¡±.

    The doors of the huge shop opened and out came his fare pushing a cartden with stuff.

    He got out to help her unload.

    ¡°Strange¡± didn¡¯t even begin to describe her purchases. There were grav vehicle parts, tworge ¡°megacaps¡± like he had in his car stereo, a home theater holographic projector, some arts and crafts stuff, a huge spool of ¡°space-wire¡±, a super-thin very high tensile strength wire, some gloves to handle the wire without your fingers falling off, a bunch of other stuff...

    Two ster pistols¡­ two heavy stun pistols¡­ a pile of energy cells...

    ¡°Those are going to have to go into the trunk,¡± he said firmly as he pointed at the weapons.

    The frog-girl just shrugged and let him put them safely away.

    <em>Now this IS interesting!</em> Gregory happily thought as he hopped back into his car and they drove off.

    The return trip was beyond fun. Gregory watched in amazement as the weird little frog proceeded to destroy several thousand credits worth of high end electronics, littering the back of his cab with wreckage.

    That fifteen hundred credit holo-projector? She only wanted two things out of it and it looked like she broke one of those. Same thing for those grav vehicle parts. Hundreds of credits destroyed for a small handful of things.

    It made absolutely no sense and he LOVED it! She trashed EVERYTHING! Pieces of high-credit debris were literally bouncing off of the clear partition between them.

    ¡°So,¡± Gregory asked, ¡°What are you making.¡±

    ¡°Resh¡¯ka-spath voz th,¡± she muttered as she crooned at the chaotic pile of rubble she was making.

    ¡°Now that wasn¡¯t anguage he had heard before, neither had his AI! It wasn¡¯t in the books! Neat!¡±

    She pulled out a small internal imager she had bought and looked at one of the megacaps carefully.

    She pulled out a small knife¡­

    ¡°You <em>really</em> want to be careful with those,¡± Gregory said urgently watching as she started carefully cutting at the ruggedized outer casing.

    ¡°No, <em>seriously</em>!¡± he eximed. ¡°You just ruined it! <em>Don¡¯t</em> try to charge that!¡±

    She paid him no mind.

    When they reached her hotel she gave him a huge tip.

    ¡°...mess...¡± was all she said.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it!¡± he said cheerfully. ¡°Um¡­ You seem to be in a little bit of a hurry. Are you going to need a ride again? I can wait.¡± This was about to get <em>good</em> and there was no way he was going to miss it!

    I mean, why install high-dor shields in your ride if you never use them!

    ¡°...wait...¡± the frog-girl muttered as she grabbed the weapons from the back and sprinted inside.

    Damn, was she fast.

    ***

    Gregory was dozing in his cab when the proximity alert woke him up a little past sunrise.

    She wasing back. The cute little dress was gone, reced by with what looked like a silk bathrobe.

    Weird, but then again that was sort of par for the course.

    Her eyes looked different too. They looked more normal. Well, normal-ish anyway.

    ¡°Sorry to keep you,¡± she said.

    ¡°Oh no worries,¡± he replied.

    ¡°Where to.¡±

    ¡°Harklogrowl restaurant, Free Port.¡±

    ¡°Says here that they aren¡¯t open yet,¡± he replied looking at his screen. ¡°They don¡¯t open for lunch until-¡±

    ¡°Drive.¡±

    ¡°Ooookay...¡± he replied.

    As they reached the interstate the frog-girl pulled out a tablet.

    ¡°So what are you reading about?¡± Gregory asked absolutely consumed with curiosity.

    ¡°¡­Threen...¡± she muttered absently.

    ***

    Inside the restaurant and their base of operations in the Free Port, Jazzhon sat at the head of the table, grinning from ear to ear.

    They showed that little frog-bitch!

    ¡°But, I paid you¡­ <em>I paid you!</em> Please!¡­ <em>Please!!!</em><em>Please no!</em>¡± a terrified voice screamed from a tablet that everyone was passing around as they howled withughter.

    ¡°Yeah I broke that little thing in but good!¡± Hrog snickered. ¡°She even promised to show up for work when she gets out of the hospital! Told her that if she didn¡¯t work for us her kid would!¡±

    ¡°You did good, Hrog,¡± Jazzhonughed as everyone¡¯s tes were set in front of them. They all just sat there waiting, staring at the food.

    Finally, Jazzhon¡¯s te was ced in front of him. He slowly raised his fork¡­ He always liked to make them wait just a little. Not long, just long enough to remind them who ate first.

    And then he brought the first mouthful of meat to his maw¡­

    Ok, that was enough teasing them. He ate.

    With a little cheer, everyone followed suit.

    ¡°Kizzrou and his guys arete!¡± Jazzhon grumbled. ¡°Anyone hear from them?¡±

    ¡°Not a peep, boss, but we know they did the job! Whole ce is burnt!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, they probably justyin¡¯ low or something,¡± Jazzhon shrugged.

    They continued tough and eat as they discussed what their next move would be. They would lean on the Free Port, hard, make sure everyone knew their ce. They needed to learn what happened to people who dealt with scum like that Shel-

    ¡°You can¡¯t go in there!¡± one of the cooks yelled as the doors to the kitchen opened¡­

    And Sheloran walked in.

    She glided effortlessly over to them as his guys jumped to their feet, drawing weapons.

    A primal fear gripped Jazzhon. She wasn¡¯t scared¡­ She wasn¡¯t even mad!

    She looked <em>amused</em>.

    He and every single Threen in that building all <em>knew</em>, fundamentally and instinctively, one thing.

    They had <em>fucked up</em>.

    ¡°If you aren¡¯t Harkeen,¡± Sheloran said in a pleasant dreamy voice. ¡°Leave. Now.¡±

    ¡°You got some nerve showing up here,¡± Jazzhon said sounding a lot more confident than he actually was.

    ¡°Well, you said I was next,¡± Sheloran said with a smile as she kept walking towards them.

    ¡°Yeah, you will be if you don¡¯t learn your ce!¡±

    ¡°The building¡¯s insured,¡± Sheloran replied still moving slowly and gracefully towards where he was sitting as his men started to surround her. ¡°I¡¯ll be back in business in a <em>day</em>. I¡¯m not only still writing loans, I¡¯m cutting my rates.¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± Jazzhon replied. ¡°You do that and-¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll make me next?¡± Sheloran smiled. ¡°Grab me? Throw me in van? Sodomize me with sticks because yourid tiny penises aren¡¯t big enough to do damage on their own?¡±

    ¡°Uh...¡± Jazzhon replied. This isn¡¯t how it was supposed to go at all!

    ¡°Well, here I am. Make me next¡­ <em>You</em> make me next, not your men, you.¡± She said as she arrived at his table.

    ¡°I¡¯m not just going to do loans anymore,¡± she said in a pleasant trilling voice. ¡°I¡¯m going to do gambling, smuggling¡­ <em>protection</em>¡­ everything. I¡¯m going to put you out of business, send you home to your papa with <em>nothing</em>. The Free Port is mine.¡±

    ¡°Who the fuck do you think you are?¡± he asked in outrage.

    ¡°Just a girl waiting to be made next,¡± Sheloran said withplete confidence, absolute calm.

    Jazzhon looked at her with a mix of uncertainty and suspicion. This had to be a trick! She had to have people close! He nced toward the big clear ss windows.

    Was it a sniper? That would exin why the fur on the back of his neck was standing on end.

    Was she wearing a wire?

    ¡°You think I¡¯m stupid?¡± he sneered.

    ¡°No, I think you are a Gvak-Shrrrrrrrr,¡± she said letting thatst ¡°r¡± roll off of her lips as everyone gasped.

    He was stunned into silence. To be called that, in front of his men!

    Then she reached out¡­

    <em>and took his te!!!</em> She took it!¡­ She took his food!¡­ She took it right out from in front of him!

    As his men stood there shocked to paralysis, she picked up some noodles¡­ <em>HIS NOODLES</em> and popped them into her mouth¡­

    <em>AND THEN DUMPED THE REST OF HIS FOOD¡­ HIS FOOD¡­ ON THE FLOOR!!!</em>

    There was no greater insult! No greater slight!¡­

    No greater challenge!

    He was too angry to even speak.

    ¡°That was nasty,¡± she said, making a yuck-face, as she reached out and¡­ <em>TOOK HIS COFFEE</em>

    ¡°Y¡­ You¡­ You¡­¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Gvak-Shrr,¡± she said as she sipped <em>HIS COFFEE</em>. ¡°I do feel bad though, putting all you you nice little Shrrs out to starve so I tell you what. I¡¯m expanding my core business too. I don¡¯t have enough boys. I¡¯ll get you all signed up, get you makeovers, get you all pretty¡­ Creators know you will need a job after I post this,¡± she said as she revealed a small camera pinned to the cor of her robe.

    ¡°Take¡­ take this¡­ <em>bitch</em> in the back...¡± he gasped barely able to speak. ¡°And¡­ and...¡±

    His men looked at each other uncertainly. None of them wanted to move.

    ¡°¡­ and STRETCH HER HOLES!!!¡± Jazzhon screeched. ¡°¡­ DO IT!!!!¡±

    His men started to close in around her.

    Sheloran smiled as she could feel her heart starting to pound in her chest¡­

    Her heartbeats seemed to slow down as the Threen closing in started moving slower and slower

    The colors became brighter and move vivid as she lifted her secret eyelid¡­

    An outstretched w was getting closer leaving streaks of color behind it as it slowly drifted down towards her neck.

    She lifted her chin with a little smile as she waited paitently for it to close around her throat.

    <em>They had to touch her before she struck...</em> Well, they didn¡¯t <em>have</em> to touch her¡­

    <em>It was just tradition, the ultimate act of utter contempt for your foe,¡­ and a lot more fun that way...</em>

    Jazzhon started to jump to his feet when she did that weird shit with her eyes.

    He figured it out. Creators help him!

    It <em>was</em> a trap, but it wasn¡¯t a wire, or a sniper¡­

    It was <em>her</em>!

    He had to get out of here! Screw honor! Screw his reputation! He had to-

    Sheloran watched him slowly, ever so slowly start to try to get up. He understood. Good.

    She felt a slight tickle as a single w tip caressed her cheek.

    She jumped forward, slowly floating through the air (in her perception) as her hands moved towards the two yer pistols that she had in her robes. They weren¡¯t true yers but they were decent.

    No they weren¡¯t. They were horribly crude but considering the time she had and what she had to work with, she couldn¡¯t help but feel pleased, even a bit proud.

    She snagged the top of the table with the tip of one of her toes, altering her trajectory as the first of their ster bolts rent the air exactly where she should havended.

    She kicked off of the table, sending herselfzily spinning through the air in the opposite direction as her hands finally started to draw the two flesh-strippers from the sash in which they were artfully slung¡­

    She started to sing as the first of the Threen, screaming, started to tear apart¡­

    Then the second¡­

    And then the third¡­

    ***

    Jazzhon ran in a blind panic into the rear storeroom.

    <em>He had to get out! He had to get away!...</em>

    <em>Away from her...</em>

    As he desperately tried to urge speed from his corpulent frame he tried to make sense of what he saw.

    He couldn¡¯t.

    He didn¡¯t even know what she <em>used</em>.

    All he knew was that his men were <em>gone</em>, literally torn to pieces in front of him¡­

    They didn¡¯t even have a chance!

    Oh Creators! The singing¡­ The singing was getting closer!

    He spun around and fired at the shadow closing in behind him.

    He missed. He knew he would miss. She was just too fast.

    Where did she go? Where was she? The singing was close but it was all around him now.

    He heard nothing but that <em>song</em>¡­ that horrible horrible song.

    He whirled around desperately.

    <em>Crack!</em>

    He felt a little tickle along his wrist¡­

    Then¡­ <em>pain</em>¡­

    He looked in horror as his pistol, <em>and his hand</em> started to fall.

    He tried to run.

    <em>Crack!</em>

    He fell, leaving one of his feet behind him.

    He screamed in pain, confusion, and most of all, blind terror.

    <em>Crack! crack! Crack!</em>

    Three of his fingers disappeared on his remaining hand.

    <em>Whipwire!</em> he thought in terror. A length of anyone of a thousand different materials, all of them thin and strong enough to be sharper than a razor along their entire length. It was a cheap and clumsy but <em>dangerous</em>, usually to everyone involved but if someone was a master of it...

    <em>Crack!</em>

    His other foot was sliced in half and then <em>Crack!</em> it was gone!

    <em>Crack!</em>

    What was left of his remaining hand was severed and cast aside. He looked at the stump left.

    ¡°<em>Please!!!</em>¡± he howled.

    The singing just got louder.

    <em>Crack!</em>

    He lost an ear.

    ¡°I got money! I can pay you!¡± He shouted. ¡°Anything you want!¡±

    <em>Crack!</em>

    He screamed.

    <em>Crack!</em>¡­ <em>Crack!</em>¡­ <em>Crack!</em>¡­ <em>Crack!</em>...

    ***

    Over a million years in the past, the Heretic walked slowly through a magnificent garden.

    It was breathtaking, glorious¡­

    Even after all these years, it still delighted her. She paused at her favorite fountain, a huge bronze obscenely obese tol pouring crystal pure water from a goblet into his huge gaping maw¡­

    And peeing it into a pool filled with brilliantly colored fish.

    ¡°Good ol Fatty,¡± the Heretic said wistfully. He had been a great man. In her opinion greater than any th she ever knew.

    He had actually managed to ¡®conker¡¯ the entire world, holding down even the most obstinate of his foes down and patiently shoving food into their faces until they gained weight.

    Of course, that¡¯s not what he¡¯s remembered for the most. No¡­

    It wasn¡¯t his strategic and political genius, his societal masterpiece of a world government, his patronage of science and the arts that advanced tol culture and science at a rate that was simply beyond belief. It wasn¡¯t his institution of universal education. All in a single lifespan.

    An achievement that would shame even the greatest among the progenitors themselves.

    Was that what they celebrated about Ol¡¯ Fatso? The Tol? Of course not. Oh he was recognized for that, appreciated for that.

    But what echoed through song and legend? That would have to be his deathbed party, his final royalmand.

    Even she had to admit it, it was one hell of a blow-out. The festivitiessted for <em>years</em>, even longer than he had nned, the perfect send-off for the perfect man.

    She loved that mountain of goo and still missed him every single day.

    A Tol approached bowing respectfully.

    ¡°Why do you fukkin¡¯ do that?¡± she snorted.

    ¡°Because it annoys you so!¡± the Tol chuckled and then stopped, looking at her earnestly.

    ¡°You heard,¡± she muttered.

    ¡°Yes,¡± he said sadly.

    ¡°Well it happens to everyone,¡± the ancient heretic replied with a smile.

    ¡°The¡­ the scores from the end of the semester are tallied,¡± the Tol said in a quiet voice.

    ¡°And?¡±

    He handed her a sheet of paper.

    ¡°Excellent!¡± she said brightly. ¡°Even Klebbit! I new that little goo had it in him!...¡±

    The ancient th narrowed her eyes at her assistant.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just¡­¡± the Tol said sadly. ¡°What are we going to do without you?¡±

    ¡°Thrive!¡± she said cheerfully. ¡°You are going to take what I¡¯ve given you and you are going to fukkin¡¯ <em>run</em> with it! You are going to grow, and develop, and <em>learn</em>¡­ Oh you are going to learn so many things! You will leave me behind in the dust where I belong and go and do your own thing, your own way!¡­ Not that you¡¯ve ever done it any way but your own way¡­¡±

    She tottered over and gave the Tol a big hug.

    ¡°You will transcend even us in the end!¡± she grinned.

    ¡°I seriously doubt that,¡± the Tol replied, a bit shocked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t! Not for one minute I don¡¯t!¡± The old th smiled. ¡°In fact, I <em>know</em> you will.¡±

    ¡°Is this some of your witchth again?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact it is,¡± the old th chuckled darkly.

    She sighed.

    ¡°Old friend,¡± she said. ¡°I need your help.¡±

    ¡°Anything, teacher!¡±

    ¡°I...¡± the heretic said looking up at the statue of The Fat King. ¡°I wasn¡¯t always¡­ good. In fact I¡¯ve done horrible things¡­ for the worst reasons...¡±

    ¡°Teacher?¡±

    ¡°Even my ns for you, for the Tol¡­ Fatty forgive me!¡­ were rooted in the ckest, most tainted of soil.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± the Tol gasped.

    She nodded, beginning to weep.

    ¡°I was going to betray you, a young thriving vital people for the sake of a failed race, a doomed species, an <em>evil</em> species¡­ We are, you know,¡± she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. ¡°We hide it well, draped in silk and grace, but we are <em>evil</em>.¡±

    Her colleague and former star pupil looked at her in horror.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to tell you something,¡± the old th said with a shuddering sob. ¡°I just pray you will still call me a friend afterwards...¡±

    After she finished, the Tol just looked at her.

    ¡°That,¡± it said, ¡°was without a doubt the single most fuked up thing I¡¯ve ever heard.¡±

    The th just looked at the ground unable to even meet his gaze.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry...¡±

    ¡°Well you fukkin¡¯ should be!¡± it said giving her a gentle shove. ¡°That was some real dirty dealing there! In fact I feel dirty just listenin¡¯ to all that. What you did¡­ or are going to do¡­ or did and it¡¯s gonna happen¡­ fuk!¡­ makes my head go all funny just tryin¡¯ to figgure it out! Only thing I know for sure is that you are a first ss meepfilcher!¡±

    The th kept looking down.

    ¡°So, how we gonna fix it?¡± the Tol asked.

    The heretic looked up hopefully.

    ¡°So you will help, even knowing everything I¡¯ve done?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± the Tol said brightly. ¡°Sounds fun! And we¡¯re still friends too.¡±

    ¡°We¡­ we are?¡± the old th asked hopefully.

    ¡°Sure we are,¡± the Tol said wrapping his arm around her. ¡°A lot of my friends are assholes!¡±

    The old th burst intoughter and felt, for the first time, that everything was going to be ok.

    ***

    ¡°So how long have you been in here?¡± Visha asked Lucky as she took Lucky¡¯s bishop.

    ¡°Five years,¡± Lucky muttered staring at the board.

    ¡°That long? Why haven¡¯t you been either sentenced or deported?¡± Visha asked as she sipped a cup of rather disappointing coffee.

    ¡°Oh that¡¯s because-¡±

    ¡°Guys!¡± Tizz shouted making both Visha and Lucky flinch! ¡°You will NEVER guess what just happened!¡±

    ¡°Why is it that you always say that?¡± Lucky said with some annoyance. ¡°Just say-¡±

    ¡°You know the Harkeen, right?¡± Tizz said breathlesslypletely ignoring Lucky¡¯s reply. ¡°You know how they¡¯ve been running the Free Port like since forever?¡±

    ¡°Just like they hold most of simr areas,¡± Visha replied. ¡°Annoying little creatures but-¡±

    ¡°Well they just took on Sheloran!¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Lucky asked.

    ¡°Lucky!¡± Tizz gushed. ¡°You were right about her...¡±

    ¡°Woah¡­¡± Lucky replied, her ears sticking straight up, a few momentster.

    ¡°They say he looked like sliced baloney when she was done with him!¡±

    ¡°Nobody let her have any yarn when she shows up,¡± Lucky chuckled. ¡°Maybe keep the noodles away from her too...¡±

    ¡°It will be nice to get a chance to meet her,¡± Visha replied. ¡°I never really got a chance to-¡±

    ¡°Oh she¡¯s noting <em>here</em>!¡± Tizz eximed.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Lucky asked, ¡°Where are they¡­ Ohhhhhhh¡­¡±

    She trailed off into silence as Tizz just pointed upwards.

    ***

    Sheloran groaned.

    ¡°Craxi?¡± she called as she opened her eyes. ¡°I guess I...¡±

    She was sitting,pletely alone, in a tiny room.

    She tried to stand but couldn¡¯t.

    She was chained to a bench¡­ with <em>chains</em>, big, huge, heavy chains.

    ¡°Wha?!?¡± she eximed as she began to struggle.

    ¡°Calm down!¡± a Kalesh said over a speaker. ¡°We are almost there.¡±

    ¡°Almost where?¡± Sheloran asked. ¡°Is this the hospital?¡±

    ¡°Hospital?¡± the voice replied somewhat amused. ¡°If you need medical attention you will be treated upon arrival.¡±

    ¡°Arrival where?!?¡± Sheloran squeaked. ¡°What is happening?!?¡±

    ¡°You will be fully briefed upon your arrival,¡± the voice replied. ¡°Just try to rx. It goes a lot better when you rx.¡±

    ¡°What goes better?!?¡± Sheloran squeaked even squeakier.

    There was no reply.

    <em>Ok Sheloran, think...</em> she told herself as she tried to make herself calm down. <em>I was at the hospital and Ploxni was¡­ and then Oh Great Prophet, Uhrrbet!¡­ Oh Creators¡­ and then I got kinda dizzy and¡­ and...</em>

    <em>and...</em>

    ¡­

    <em>and then I...</em>

    ¡°Eeeeeeeeee¡­..¡± Sheloran squeaked her voice raising higher and higher. She would have buried her face in her hands and rocked back and forth but both were quite impossible, you know, because of the chains.

    ***

    The strange slightly buzzing room made a bumping, grating noise and then fell silent.

    ¡°We are preparing to debark you. We are armed and we are authorized to use lethal force immediately and without any additional warning! Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Sheloran squeaked. ¡°No I don¡¯t understand! I don¡¯t understand anything! Who are you? Where am I? What is-¡±

    ¡°You will be fully briefed shortly. Again, we are about to open the hatch and debark you. Right now, the only thing you need to understand is that we will fucking kill you if you do anything stupid. Do you understand that or do I need to repeat it again?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I understand...¡± Sheloran said meekly.

    There was a grinding sound and the entire rear wall of the little room slid back and away revealing what looked to be like a small docking bay.

    Standing there were six big humans in fullbat armor and carrying AK¡¯s and shotguns.

    There were also two dogs and not the cute ones! (ok, maybe they were a little cute...)

    A hatch (like the ones on a spaceship. Oh my Creators am I on a space ship?) opened and another armored human, unarmed this time walked into the little bay and up into her room.

    They walked up to her with a scanner and stared at it for a few seconds.

    ¡°I am now going to approach you!¡± the human female said in a loud and clear voice. ¡°I am doing so in order to release you from the bench and fasten these restraints on you.¡± she said raising up four wide thick cuffs attached to each other with yet more chains.

    ¡°It is not my intent to cause you any physical harm,¡± she continued. ¡°Do you understand and consent?¡±

    ¡°WhereamI? AmIonaship? OhCreatorsareyoupooping<em>deporting</em>meeeee?!?!?¡±

    ¡°(sigh) You will be fully briefed shortly,¡± the armored female said wearily. ¡°Do you consent to being handled?¡±

    ¡°I guess?¡±

    ¡°I am now approaching you.¡± the female said as the guards holding AK¡¯s leveled their rifles at Sheloran¡¯s head, their fingers lying alongside the trigger guard, maintaining trigger discipline.

    ¡°I am now going to guide you to your feet,¡± the armored woman said as she gently pulled Sheloran to her feet. ¡°I am now going to attach your wrist restraints. Please put your hands behind your back.¡±

    The cuffs closed and then gently inted snugly and securely holding each of her tiny little wrists.

    ¡°I am now attaching your leg restraints...¡±

    Sheloran just stood there,pletely confused, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

    Once she was restrained, the guards lowered their weapons.

    ¡°Please step from the shuttle!¡±

    Sheloran, draggingically huge but thankfully light titanium alloy chains, shuffled out of¡­ <em>a pooping raven assaultnder¡­ what the poop?</em>

    The guards fell in behind her.

    ¡°There is a white line painted on the floor!¡± the unarmored woman said as she stood beside her. ¡°Follow the white line...¡±

    A hatch opened.

    Not knowing what else to do, Sheloran followed the white line.

    She soon found herself in a small room facing a two-dimensional disy mounted behind a thick pane of some clear material.

    The screen switched on and a crest appeared, the crest of the Republic Armed Forces.

    (Cheerful music ys)

    <em>Wee to The Tartarus Detention Facility!</em>

    An image of a dull grey space station with gun turrets appeared.

    <em>Congrattions! Your abilities and achievements have been recognized and you have been given the special honor of being considered too dangerous to be incarcerated anywhere else! Either due to your natural abilities, impressive feats of violence, or daunting disciplinary history, you have been declined by facility after facility but do not fear! EVERYONE is wee here! No matter who you are or what you have done you have a HOME here at the top Republic maximum-security detention facility!</em>

    <em>We have the sneaking suspicion that this might not be your first time as a guest of the Republic (ha ha) but we do things DIFFERENTLY here in Tartarus!</em>

    <em>So please pay attention, your life may depend on it!</em>

    (Cheerful music continues)

    ¡°<em>Oh poop¡­.</em>¡± Sheloran gasped in a tiny voice.

 Chapter The Poop Starts to Settleâ€”Probability Lines Start to Entangle just a Little Bit. 1 of 2

    Chapter The Poop Starts to Settle¡ªProbability Lines Start to Entangle just a Little Bit. 1 of 2

    Sheloran sat miserably on a padded cube <em>firmly</em> attached to the deck te.

    A uniformed human female smiled pleasantly at her from behind a desk¡­

    And a <em>very</em> thick, clear panel.

    "Hello," the human said cheerfully, "My name is Pam! Wee to Tartarus!"

    "Hi," Sheloran said meekly.

    "Well, you certainly caused a stir!" Pam eximed cheerfully. "Quite the mess!"

    "Do I get to talk to mywyer?" Sheloran squeaked.

    "Sure!" she said. "But first, I just wanted to check in with you, see how you are doing. So, you saw our orientation video," she said with a chuckle. "Do you have any questions?"

    Sheloran just shook her head.

    "Really?" Pam asked. "Most people do..." she said as she typed at her console. "I''m just going to look at your notes for a second¡­ Huh!¡­ Neat!¡­ Interesting!" she said happily as she read.

    "Ok, I think I got a handle on this!" Pam eximed. "Based on your profile, as best as we understand it (You''re an odd one!), I should reassure you that you are safe! Nobody is nning on harming you!"

    Pam leaned forward a bit.

    "And you will have few problems with your fellow guests," she added in a conspiratorial tone. "If you are here, you are here for a <em>reason</em>, and your fellow guests know it! You won''t need to prove yourself or establish your reputation. You''re a violent killer!"

    "But I''m not..."

    "Right," Pam grinned. "You are ALLEGEDLY a hyper-violent, psychotic, stupidly dangerous killing machine who MIGHT have ughtered nine armed Threen thugs each several times her body-weight leaving nothing but ragged, bloody chunks behind, and did it so fast and with such brutality that several jails were afraid even to let you in!"

    "<em>They weren''t ragged!</em>" Sheloran squeaked, suddenly quite offended. "They were- Eeeep!" Sheloran squeaked, mping her hands over her mouth.

    "Ha!" Pam eximed happily. "Right you are! I didn''t mean to cast shade on your fine work! You MIGHT have left neatly sliced pieces behind!"

    Sheloran just stared at her with wide eyes as she kept her hands firmly in ce, afraid of what else might leak out.

    "You''ll fit in great around here!" Pamughed. "Like I said, you have nothing to prove, just like everyone else here, and we run a pretty tight ship, so unsanctioned fights don''t happen very often at all!"

    "Un¡­ unsanctioned?"

    "Well, some of you ruffians just <em>have</em> to blow off some steam every now and then so we do have the fighting pits if you are into that sort of thing."

    "I''m not!" Sheloran squeaked. "I''m really not!"

    "Ok," Pam smiled. "Just let one of the guest concierge officers know if you change your mind!"

    Sheloran just sat there,pletely terrified as Pam continued.

    "Diet¡­ Looks good¡­ Oh! You like apples! Let me check¡­ Yep! Those are on the sd bar right now (we have really good food!)¡­ Uniform¡­ What do you like to wear?"

    "D-dresses..."

    "That won''t be a problem¡­ Dispensary¡­ You on any drugs?"

    "No..."

    "Well, if you feel like some, just let us know," Pam smiled. "I know the normal system is against them, but they are actually trying to rehabilitate people. We don''t bother with ''rehabilitation'' here. You can''t get Warcry or Berserker or Meth, but if you want some heroin, we will hook you right on up! But don''t do heroin. Do weed! We grow some of the best buds in the gxy! Do you like gardening?"

    Sheloran''s eyes lit up, and she nodded. Pam smiled at her and typed something.

    "Once you get settled in, we can get you into our hydroponic facility if you want¡­ Back to the dispensary¡­ Oh..." Pam said unhappily, "nothing for ths¡­ Is there anything from your homeworld you want?"

    "Oh Prophet, yes!" Sheloran gasped. "You can do that?"

    "We put a very high priority on making our guests as fortable'' out of their minds as we can," sheughed. "What do you want?"

    "Well!" Sheloran said as she inhaled deeply.

    Pam was typing for quite some time.

    ***

    In a surprisingly short time, Sheloran, wearing afy dress and some really cute little slippers, was led into a small room.

    "We''ll give you some privacy," an armored Kalesh said.

    "Thanks!" Sheloran beamed. Everyone was so nice to her! It wasn''t like the other jail at all!

    The Kalesh shut the door, and Baxlon appeared on one of those armored two-dimensional disys.

    He red at her.

    "One day," he said. "I asked you to hold off for just one fucking day¡­ Just one!"

    "I''m sorry, Baxlon," Sheloran squeaked. "But they-"

    "You know who has called dibs, right?" Baxlon asked.

    Sheloran just squeaked.

    "Yep, and he is <em>pissed off</em>!" Baxlon continued. "It seems that he doesn''t view <em>ughtering nine people</em> with the same sense of humor we do, especially that one guy¡­ Fucking hell, Sheloran! What did you <em>do</em> to him? I mean, I''ve seen some fucked up shit but, damn, kid!"

    "I''m¡­ I''m not sure..." Sheloran squeaked miserably.

    "What the fuck do you mean, ''I''m not sure''? You were there!"

    "One minute I was at the hospital with Uhrrbet and¡­ and then¡­ and then..."

    Sheloran buried her face in her hands.

    Baxlon just floated there, blowing a thin stream of bubbles.

    "ording to the police report," he replied, "And then you sauntered into the fucking Harkeen headquarters and fucking ripped them into pieces¡­ <em>literally</em>. They know this because you, in your infinite wisdom, <em>decided to film the whole fucking thing!!!</em>"

    "I did?!?" Sheloran squealed.

    "Yep," Baxlon replied with a chuckle. "Still had the camera on you when they hauled you in. Thank the Lords of the Abyss themselves that you didn''t resist when SWAT dropped by to say hello."

    The vaguest recollection of ck-d warriors fluttered across Sheloran''s mind. They were nice.

    "You were just sitting there having fucking breakfast when they stormed the ce."

    "I what?" Sheloran squeaked.

    Baxlon justughed.

    "Yeah, after you finished turning the Harkeen boss into prosciutto, you just sat down and summoned a waiter. They were too fucking terrified to say no. I gotta hand it to you, Sheloran. You have style! The SWAT helmet cam footage is already going viral!"

    "Viral?!?" Sheloran just squeaked.

    "Oh yeah," Baxlon chuckled. "But that''s nothingpared to your cab ride. Your little concert already has over a hundred million views."

    "Cab ride?"

    "You don''t remember?¡­ of course you don''t," Baxlon said. "You started singing the fucking Republic national anthem on the way to the fucking restaurant. Your cabbie has a fucking vlog, by the way. He taped <em>everything</em>! So, in addition to your little snuff flick, they have <em>hours</em> of very carefully premeditated preparations¡­ Maybe, just maybe, you could have a chat with this ''other Sheloran'' concerning little things like not recording, in exacting detail, nine counts of first-degree murder? It would make things MUCH more convenient in the future."

    <em>Nine counts of first-degree murder!!!</em>

    "Oh poop¡­ OpoopOpoopOpoop¡­.¡± Sheloran started to hyperventte.

    "Baxlon!!!" She squeaked, "Whatarewegoingtodo!!!!"

    "<em>I</em> am going to do my job," Baxlon said with a strangely happy little bubble. "There is just ONE thing you have to do."

    "What?"

    "<em>Nothing</em>," Baxlon said firmly. "absolutely nothing! Do NOTHING. Say NOTHING. Just don''t make this any worse!¡­ I think I know how to y this, at least at first," Baxlon mused. "We are about to have our first hearing. We''ll know a lot more after that. Just sit there and KEEP QUIET! No matter what, just keep that gigantic mouth of yours closed! Can you do that?"

    Sheloran nodded.

    "I need to hear you say it," Baxlon said urgently. "Last time, it was cute. This time it is <em>serious</em>. What are you going to do?"

    "Keep my mouth shut?" Sheloran replied uncertainly.

    "Again."

    "I''m going to keep my mouth shut."

    "And what are you going to say?"

    "Nothing," Sheloran replied.

    "Right," Baxlon said. "not a peep. Not a squeak¡­ nothing. Just sit there and look¡­ Yes! Look just like that!"

    Sheloran just nodded,pletely terrified.

    "Sit tight," Baxlon said. "We will be talking to Mr. Roboto soon."

    ***

    Gloria lounged in Harval''s office, going over thetest information that Jessie sent as the door burst open and a thin wispy xeno barged in.

    "What you do to <em>my</em> ship! Why you fuck it?"

    A faint smile flickered across Gloria''s lips. She knew that stance, those tones. They were universal.

    "Sorry, Chief," Gloria replied. "Needs of the Republic."

    "Bnce wrong! Structure wrong! Everything wrong!" the xeno eximed.

    "It only has to hold together for a few hours," Gloria chuckled. "Don''t tell me you are incapable of doing it."

    "I can do! Of course I can do!" the xeno eximed. "I can mess up good ship! Fucking <em>humans..</em>."

    "This hurts me as much as it hurts you."

    "My mother said same thing but was<em> my</em> ass left stinging!" the xeno snapped and then stormed off.

    Another smile briefly lit up Gloria''s face. It was like the good old days.

    <em>O Fortuna¡­ Velut Luna¡­</em>

    Gloria cocked her head. What was that?

    <em>Statu variabilis...</em>

    Gloria got up and followed the sound. It was beautiful.

    <em>semper crescis¡­ aut decrescis</em>

    She walked down the corridor towards Harval, and a few others clustered around someone holding a tablet.

    <em>vita detestabilis¡­ nunc obdurat¡­ et tunc curat...</em>

    On the tablet, a¡­ th?¡­ was sitting in the back of a vehicle singing as she prepared two very strange-looking pistols. They had long, graceful curves, not unlike two ancient flint-locks but with very odd exposed circuitry where the hammers should have been. Strange shapes had been drawn with wiring andponents along the sides of the weapons.

    Gloria stood transfixed as she listened to the unearthly singing. It was without a doubt the single most beautiful rendition of the Republic anthem she had ever heard.

    Gloria thought of Ensign Westbrook. She loved that song. She sang it every time theyunched¡­ and she even started to sing it during her final attack run. Gloria had always thought Westbrook''s swan song was the most beautiful version¡­

    Gloria had never sung that song after that day. It was one more thing she had lost.

    Unconsciously, Gloria started to quietly sing along¡­

    ***

    "You <em>have</em> to see this!" Gloria eximed, her eyes alive with excitement, as she transmitted a file to the Tiger.

    She looked at Gloria''s image with surprise. Gloria looked¡­ normal?¡­

    That was definitely not a good sign. Gloria looking "normal" was never a good sign.

    "Gloria," She asked cautiously. "Have you done something we need to know about?"

    "Just watch!" Gloria eximed. "God! I wish Westbrook could have seen this!"

    "Who?"

    "Tasha Westbrook!"

    "Who?"

    "Oh¡­ I guess you never met her," Gloria replied. "She was someone I served with. She wound up ramming her Moray into the side of a Bug cruiser. Went down with all tubes firing! Took the fucker down with her, singing that fucking song the whole time!"

    Ok, now She was really concerned. Gloria never talked about her service sober and <em>NEVER</em> mentioned names. In fact, she imed that she didn''t even bother learning them.

    "...and she LOVED that fucking song!" Gloria continued. "She used to sing in a church choir when she was a kid, and let me tell you, that bitch could sing! Every goddamn time weunched, all four of them, she sang the whole fucking thing. It drove me crazy!" Gloria actuallyughed. "She was a volunteer, you know. Crazy little shit actually signed up for a Moray¡­ Nobody who does that is right in the head!"

    She just sat there stunned as Gloria continued to talk about her formerrades. <em>So many names...</em> She thought as Gloria continued to talk about people, who they were, little things about them¡­ and how they died¡­ so many names¡­

    "...I tell you one thing," Gloria said, "Vic might have been a fucking prisoner, but I hope I go down with half the courage, the pure grace, that he did. His tubes were empty. He should have run, but he <em>flew</em> into right into those fighters trying to give us just half a second longer to line up our shots¡­ moron..." She sighed with a wistful smile.

    She continued to just quietly sit there, amazed, as Gloria continued to name the dead.

    It took a while.

    ***

    After promising, repeatedly, to watch whatever Gloria had sent them, She switched off the transmission.

    She looked at the file on her monitor. Whatever that was, it had done <em>something</em> to Gloria.

    She wasn''t entirely sure she wanted to see anything that would do that.

    "Fuck it," she muttered and pressed y¡­

    "Well..." She said a few moments after the chills subsided. "That was something..."

    "Something is right!" Bunnyughed. "You will <em>NEVER</em> guess who that fucking was!¡­ And¡­ Holy shit!¡­ She..." Bunny said over the bridge speakers, "You are <em>NOT</em> going to believe this!"

    File after file started to open up on the holo-screens of the bridge.

    "Well, fuck..." She grinned.

    ***

    Judge Thaddeus Carter sat in his office and frowned as he reviewed the case. He had many cases today¡­

    But there was only <em>one</em> that really mattered to him.

    "Goddammit," he muttered as he watched her sing again. It was so beautiful.

    It was. If he still had the physical capacity, he would be moved to tears. But, unfortunately, there was only one conclusion to make, the same one made by everyone who watched this¡­

    She went there to <em>kill</em>. Her intent was¡­ incontrovertible. It was calm, and it was clear, and it was one-hundred percent premeditated.

    Those Threen were dead the second she got out of that cab.

    He pulled up the notes from a cultural expert. Her words and actions were perfect. There wasn''t a good human analogy for what she did. It was a "biological" trigger. She clearly used in-depth knowledge of the Threen psyche to engineer the situation so that violence was assured.

    That Harkeen boss had absolutely no choice¡­

    And Sheloran <em>knew</em> it.

    This was murder, carefully nned, perfectly executed murder¡­

    And the weapons? Clearly ss-four destructive devices, not that it really mattered. The whole building had to be cordoned off. It would take days to make that ce safe to enter. Slivers of monomolecr wire were <em>everywhere.</em>

    Unable to stop himself, he yed the song again.

    Upholding thew was his sacred privilege, a duty that he performed with every fiber of his being, a task that defined him, strengthened him, gave him a purpose in this insane world¡­

    But some days, he really hated his job. Sheloran was a good person, at least she was, and it was his job to put her in Tartarus for the rest of her life. No. That wasn''t his job. His job was to safeguard and oversee the process that would put her in Tartarus for the rest of her life.

    He reviewed the notes again. Perhaps there was something he missed, some detail that would change things. He pulled up the precedents again. That shit-loach would definitely try to use self-defense to justify the ughter, and yes, ughter was exactly the right word to use.

    It wouldn''t fly. Sheloran wasn''t the first person to do something like this and then try to im it was self-defense. The precedents were clear. Just like shouting "fire" in a crowded theater wasn''t free speech, walking into a crimelord''s den and challenging them wasn''t self-defense¡­

    No matter how badly someone wanted it to be¡­

    The shit-loach was good, but the prosecution would be pulling out the stops on this one. Gang wars needed to be stopped before they started. If Sheloran were allowed to walk, it would only be a matter of time before this happened again¡­ and again¡­

    If the entire world consisted only of Sheloran and the Harkeen¡­ and whoever it will be the next time¡­ then he would be all for it, but there are always innocents turned into "examples" or some kid who steps in front of a bullet or whatever the hell Sheloran was using.

    He had seen it too many times before. Once someone starts taking care of theirpetition like this¡­

    He thought of Sheloran''s little face and frowned. No matter how innocent they look or how good they im their intentions to be, once they start killing¡­

    It just gets worse¡­ and worse¡­ Unfortunately, it only ends in the grave, and they usually take far too many people with them, not all of them "guilty".

    "What happened to you, frog-girl?" He muttered. He knew this would happen. He didn''t know how he knew, but he did. The fact that she was the killer and not the victim wasn''t even that much of a surprise.

    He hated being right. Just once, he would like to be wrong about this shit¡­ just once...

    He checked the docket again and chuckled grimly.

    The prosecution <em>was</em> taking this seriously.

    They sent crayon-boy. After getting some sense kicked into him, "The Cray" was quickly bing quite the effective and feared prosecutor. He wouldn''t miss a trick.

    "Shit-loach vs. Crayon-Boy..." Judge Dredd muttered. Usually, he would be looking forward to this, a good legal duel for all of the marbles, but not this time, not this case.

    They would stretch this out, battling tirelessly to "win", and he just wanted this whole mess to be over.

    He thought of Sheloran again and fought back a wave of grief. She was <em>special.</em> He didn''t know why. Some people just were, and that little frog-girl was so innocent, so filled with spark, with potential.

    She could have been <em>anything</em>¡­

    So why did she choose to be¡­ <em>this</em>¡­

    <em>Why?</em>

    He knew there would never be an answer good enough, an excuse strong enough, to justify it. There never was¡­

    But why <em>her</em>. She was a good person, a very good person. You could see it shining off of her¡­

    Only for it to go so badly¡­

    He had seen it before, of course. He had seen it too often. Seeing it once was too often¡­

    ...and he had seen it a Hell of a lot more times than once.

    He looked at the antique wall clock on his wall, salvaged from the ruins of his old courthouse, a relic of the time before everything stopped making sense.

    It was time. There was no sense in dying it.

    Best to just get this over with. Listen to the charges, validate the them, listen to the defense¡­

    ...then deny bail. The grounds, "uneptable risk of further violence and proven history of fleeing prosecution"¡­

    Over and done.

    Then, over the next few weeks or months, he would be treated to the tragic story of how someone so "good" wound up bing a mass murderer. He didn''t know all of the details yet, but there was one thing of which he waspletely certain.

    He didn''t want to hear this. It was going to suck.

    He made his way into his courtroom and paused as the door opened.

    It was <em>packed</em>!

    The room was filled with people, xenos, and more than a few of the press.

    "All rise!" the bailiff called out in a loud, clear voice. "The court of..."

    Judge Dredd wondered what was going on as he, dragging that long heavy cable, walked to his podium.

    <em>Oh, the video,</em> he thought. <em>It went viral, didn''t it?</em>

    He scowled.

    <em>Great,</em> he thought to himself. Goddamn<em> thing is already turning into a circus.</em>

 Chapter 112: The Poop Starts to Settleâ€”Probability Lines Start to Entangle just a Little Bit. 2 of 2

    Chapter 112: The Poop Starts to Settle¡ªProbability Lines Start to Entangle just a Little Bit. 2 of 2

    Standing next to a holographic projection of his client in high-orbit, Baxlon floated in his globe, watching Judge Dredd take his seat.

    I know that expression, Baxlon thought unhappily. Not good.

    The Judge looked at everyone and just sighed. Ranting Baxlon could handle. Angry he could work with. This? A sad, tired Judge Dredd was the worst of them all.

    The judgment had already been made, and the trial hadn¡¯t even started yet.

    The Judge looked over at his client and just shook his head.

    ¡°Ok,¡± he said after a few seconds. ¡°Let¡¯s get this bullshit over with.¡±

    ¡°¡­ and so, the state is charging the defendant with nine counts of first-degree murder,¡± the prosecutor said calmly.

    Judge Dredd looked at him curiously.

    ¡°No weapons charges?¡±

    ¡°The state has dropped the weapons charges due tock of evidence,¡± the prosecutor said with a wry smile. ¡°The arms are um¡­ no longer in the possession of the justice department,¡± he said with a smirk as he sent a document to the bench. ¡°Because they were ss-four destructive devices at worst and there were no bystanders hurt, we consider them irrelevant aspared to the more serious charges involved with this case.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I see,¡± Judge Dredd replied. ¡°Hard to make a case when the guns have ¡®disappeared¡¯, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°The state believes that there is sufficient evidence to proceed without the weapons themselves.¡±

    ¡°I agree,¡± Judge Dredd replied calmly. ¡°the bench has reviewed the charges and approves. The trial will proceed. The defense can request all evidence and rted documentation under the case number attached to these proceedings. Bail is denied. That will be all.¡±

    Sheloran felt faint. She wasn¡¯t entirely sure what ¡°first-degree murder¡± was, but from what she remembered from her friends from thest time she was in jail, it was bad, it was really, really bad!

    ¡°Your honor!¡± Baxlon interjected.

    ¡°What do you <em>want</em>?¡± Judge Dredd asked in annoyance.

    ¡°While the fact that my client did, in fact, kill the individuals in question is clear beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is also equally clear that she ultimately acted in self-defense, a fact that we will prove to a sufficient extent to exonerate her actions. She is not a ¡®criminal¡¯. She is a victim and doesn¡¯t deserve to be held without bail, especially where she is currently incarcerated! I request an immediate review and audit of this decision!¡±

    ¡°Self-defense?¡± Judge Dredd growled. ¡°Self-defense?!?¡±

    <em>Good, now there¡¯s some life in him</em>, Baxlon thought. <em>Now be a good little fishy. I got a nice fat worm for you...</em>

    ¡°Your client walked in there with the clear intention of engaging in violence, counselor, and her actions were carefully gauged and artfully designed to provoke it! She fucking <em>knew</em> what she was doing, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Not a fucking word!¡± appeared on Sheloran¡¯s screen.

    ¡°Whether or not she annoyed those¡­ animals¡­ doesn¡¯t matter, your honor,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°They struck first! She was merely defending herself, as is her right as a resident of the Republic!¡±

    ¡°Oh, the Republic is wise to bullshit like this, you fucking shit-loach!¡± Judge Dredd roared. ¡°Do you honestly think she¡¯s the first to try to pervert the spirit of the Republic, the first to seek to abuse thews that protect the people of this nation? The protections under ¡®self-defense¡¯ are intended to be just that, provisions that allow an innocent,w-abiding Republic citizen to protect themselves from an unjustified assault, not so that some thug can intentionally ce themselves in harm¡¯s way and then try to hide behind myw when they seed in doing what they went there to do in the first ce! In The Republic vs. Long 3052, this was clearly decided and has been upheld time and time again!¡±

    ¡°The Republic vs. Long has no bearing on this case, your honor!¡± Baxlon replied triumphantly. The old bastard took the bait! ¡°And I will prove it!¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Judge Dredd roared as he flinched inwardly. The Republic vs. Long¡­ The shit-loach had to expect that one. He had just stumbled right out of the gate!

    ¡°In that case, the defendant was a known member of a criminal enterprise, and an intent to kill was clearlymunicated prior to the incident! My client is an honest,w-abiding resident of this Republic, respected by her colleagues and by hermunity, and at no time has ever expressed even the slightest desire to inflict harm on anyone, much less those Harkeen thugs! My client is guilty only of having poor sense, not premeditated murder, and poor judgment in and of itself isn¡¯t a crime! You can proceed with this joke of a trial if you want but at least let my client out of Tartarus!¡±

    ¡°No intent to kill?¡± the Judge roared. ¡°What do you call this then?¡± he snapped as he started to y Sheloran singing O Fortuna in the cab on the way to the restaurant.

    The prosecutor winced. That recording waspelling but hardly conclusive. There was a reason why he left it out.

    ¡°I don¡¯t recall patriotism being illegal, Your Honor,¡± Baxlon replied smugly.

    ¡°No, but getting into a gang-war is!¡± Judge Dredd shot back, ring at Sheloran.

    ¡°Gang-war?¡± Baxlon replied with a polite sneer. ¡°My client has always acted within the letter of thew. That ¡®gang-war¡¯ was because she started issuing <empletely legal</em> loans from her <empletely legal</em> business in response to an economic emergency taking ce in the Free Port area! There was no (heh) ¡®gang-war¡¯ and if that is the basis for your decision today and your future judgment, then I call into question your impartiality and objectivity on this matter and call for your immediate recusa-¡±

    The prosecutor looked over at Baxlon as if he had lost his mind.

    ¡°You DARE question my impartiality?!?¡± Judge Dredd roared.

    ¡°If you insist upon calling my client a ¡®thug¡¯ and state that this whole tragic affair was the result of a ¡®gang-war¡¯ then, yes. My client has never been found guilty of a single crime, and her business ispletely above-board. The fact that she was targeted by violent criminals is not her fault. As a result, ¡®self-defense¡¯ is a perfectly valid justifying factor for the horrible events of yesterday. If you have already, with no supporting evidence, made the decision that this was ¡®gang warfare¡¯ and my client was already a ¡®criminal¡¯ prior to this incident, then she has already been ¡®convicted¡¯ without due process, and as per B¡¯veek vs. The Republic 3109, any decision you are involved with is hopelessly tainted and entirely too vulnerable to appeal, which will most <em>certainly</em> happen, Your Honor. As such, I am fully prepared to invoke my client¡¯s right for a preemptive audit!¡±

    Judge Dredd screamed in rage as he saw the predatory gleam in Baxlon¡¯s eyes. That fucking shit-loach! He was trying to eliminate him! That was what he was going for here! This was never about bail. Only a handful of judges could take on the shit-loach when he was ying hardball, and it was an excellent chance that his recement wouldn¡¯t be one of them!

    If that scaly little fuck manages to kick him off of this case, then Sheloran walks, regardless of her guilt.

    ¡°If you think I am going to sit here and let you and your client make a mockery of THE LAW, you have another thinging, Shit-Loach! I¡¯m not going anywhere, and if you want to try to make a case concerning my impartiality, then <em>good fucking luck!</em> NOBODY has ever...¡±

    Sheloran sat there in terrified silence as the drama unfolded in front of her. She thought the Judge was madst time¡­

    It won¡¯t work...

    Sheloran squeezed her eyes shut as something started to wiggle under her skin around her orbits.

    No¡­ please¡­ not now¡­ please... she prayed urgently. Great Prophet! Please!

    An image of her, old, sitting in a prison cell shed across her mind¡­

    And without her, her people failed. Nothing changed. The Harkeen came back in just a couple of months, and if it was bad before, it was nothingpared to what happened when they returned¡­

    Craxina¡­ Oh, Creators¡­ What they did to her¡­

    Baxlon and the Judge¡¯s battle waged in the background as she tried to shake the terrible visions of the future.

    The game was rigged. Everyone¡¯s minds had already been made up. She was done for.

    Who will protect her people then?

    Her outer eyelids kept tightly closed as her inner ones lifted without her control.

    <em>He will, </em>she thought as she heard Judge Dredd¡¯s enraged voice screaming something about the Republic versus somebody and some numbers as Baxlon calmly said something that made the Judge yell even louder.

    He¡¯s a good man¡­ he was a very good man¡­ before everything¡­ before the horrors consumed him¡­ before he descended intowlessness himself¡­ before he started trusting only thew because he couldn¡¯t trust himself ever again...

    He¡¯s trapped¡­ Oh, Creators, he¡¯s been trapped all this time... HE NEEDS YOUR HELP¡­

    I can¡¯t! I need to stay quiet! Baxlon said¡­ Sheloran thought helplessly as she felt something starting to move inside her. Please stop¡­ I don¡¯t want to go to jail¡­ Please¡­

    <em>You </em><strong><em>will</em></strong><em> help him.</em>

    ¡°I believe that this hearing clearly proves my point, Your Honor, and I beg you to do the right thing and recuse yourself before I am forced to-¡±

    ¡°I fucking DARE you to try, you bottom-feeding fuck-stain!¡±

    <em>¡°Hissssssssssss Sssssssss Sssssssssss Ssssssssss¡±</em>

    Everyone, including the Judge, fell silent as a quiet little hissing chuckle filled the room with disdain, withplete and utter contempt.

    ¡°Do you have something to say, Ms. Sheloran?¡± Judge Dredd asked in a dangerously quiet voice.

    ¡°No.¡± appeared on her screen as Baxlon stared into it. ¡°Sheloran, please, I¡¯m BEGGING you.¡±

    ¡°You both sit there bickering like children over your <em>impotent</em>ws...¡± Sheloran hissed with a distant voice. ¡°Striving and grasping for each little feather to put on your bnce-beam¡¯s dish¡­ Pathetic...¡±

    ¡°Sheloran shut the fuck up right now. I¡¯m winning! Just shut up!¡± appeared in huge shing letters across her disy.

    ¡°You want to know what really happened?¡± Sheloran sneered. ¡°You want to know why? Well, I¡¯ll tell you <em>pooping</em> why!...¡±

    ¡°Shut up!!! Shut up!!! Shut up!!!¡± scrolled across her screen.

    ¡°I tried to be good¡­ I really really did...¡± Sheloran said quietly. ¡°I was just going to sell coffee and distribute perfectly legitimate entirely legal media files¡­ Well, legal when they left my store anyway¡­ Then, a friend needed my help. You remember her, right? Well, she needed a ce where she felt safe to engage in prostitution, which she actually wanted to do!¡­ So¡­ I helped her. She needed me¡­ Then she brought a friend by, Ploxni, a really nice person, who had been repeatedly stolen from, beaten, and raped by the people she was ¡®working¡¯ for, so I took her in too¡­ Then more and more people came to me, all with the same¡­ <em>pooping...</em> messed up stories over and over and over¡­ so I took them in¡­ Then I found out about the Sex Workers Union and that I could get them all memberships and that they could be safe and work wherever they wanted, so I started doing that,¡± Sheloran said a little louder. ¡°Your ¡®gang-war¡¯ started there, Your Honor. I started going to ¡®their whores¡¯ and getting them out¡­ nobody else would¡­ nobody else cared about those ¡®dirty little xeno freaks¡¯ in the Free Port¡­ <em>but I did!</em>¡­ So I kept doing it¡­ and they did not like it. There¡¯s your pooping ¡®gang-war¡¯! I was helping people get the protections due to them <em>because of your worthlessws.</em>¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m telling you right now to shut up!¡± shed in giant letters on her disy.

    ¡°Yeah, I pooping said <em>worthless,</em>¡± Sheloran hissed. ¡°Worthless to us because they aren¡¯t for us! Do you know I was the first person going into those hell-holes that everyone knew about from the union? I was the first time those ces got ¡®raided¡¯ not just by the union but by the pooping police?!? We¡¯re talking about pooping <em>human trafficking!</em> Right here! Just a few miles from where you are sitting in your oh-sofortable chair! Everybody turned a blind eye¡­.¡±

    Sheloran¡¯s voice rose a little more.

    ¡°But I didn¡¯t! I didn¡¯t look away! <em>I couldn¡¯t!</em> I said ¡®No!¡¯ and I went right down there and handed out cards, put them in cabs, and sent them to my ce and any other ce that would take them, which wasn¡¯t many. Who wants to be a petting zoo for xeno freaks? <em>I sure as poop didn¡¯t!</em> But those people needed me, so I gave them a safe ce to work, some pooping gangster I am, huh. Oh, the Harkeen HATED me and what I was doing, but they thought they couldn¡¯t touch me because of the union, so they let it slide...¡±

    Sheloran spat.

    ¡°Then I really ramped up my ¡®crimes¡¯! A little Garthra came in looking for (heh), ¡®work¡¯. She heard that I was the person to talk to if you wanted to suck a human¡¯s dick for cash because, as it turns out, I am, to my evesting horror, the person to talk to if you are a xeno and want to suck a dick. I¡¯m not an idiot, Your Honor. I know that many people who work out of my ce aren¡¯t like my friend Craxi who actually like what they are doing. They do what they do because they don¡¯t have any other option in this wonderful pooping Republic of yours. But this time, it was bad. She just stood there, crying her eyes out over what she felt she ¡®had¡¯ to do.¡±

    Judge Dredd just sat there grimly. This was a confession, and he wasn¡¯t going to stop her, but he wanted to yell, tell her that she was wrong¡­

    But she wasn¡¯t, was she?

    ¡°Why did she ¡®have¡¯ to do it?¡± Sheloran hissed, ¡°Because she owed the Harkeen money and if she didn¡¯t pay them she would have to go to ¡®work¡¯ for them, and she felt that if she had to do ¡®it¡¯ then she wanted to do ¡®it¡¯ for me <em>because I wouldn¡¯t rape her on my pooping lunch break!!! </em>So Imitted my next ¡®crime¡¯,¡± Sheloran sneered. ¡°I offered her another option. She could make clothes for me, and I would sell them. I didn¡¯t want to do this, but I had the money, and I figured I could maybe sell them¡­ somehow¡­ maybe¡­ It turns out that this is ¡®illegal¡¯, so I had to file all sorts of paperwork, so I could do it legally, and she needed to pay the Harkeen that day, so I just gave her a loan instead, apletely legal loan atpletely legal interest rates. And someone else came in with exactly the same story. They owed the Harkeen money or didn¡¯t want to owe them money in the first ce, so they came to me for a legal loan, something nobody else was going to pooping give them. And that, Your Honor, is how my ¡®gang-war¡¯ started with those¡­ poopheads! Imitted the unforgivable <em>crime</em> of treating my fellow xenos of the Free Port to the samews that you curl up with at night, so you can forget how screwed up this world really is...¡±

    ¡°Fuck, Sheloran¡­.stop¡­. Please...¡± scrolled across her screen. She didn¡¯t care anymore.

    ¡°And for my ¡®crimes¡¯, they burned down my business!¡± Sheloran started to yell. ¡°They burned it down and damn near burned one of the nicest, most innocent people you will ever meet to death because I dared to cross them. That Garthra, they grabbed her and they¡­ They RAPED her over and over and over again because she dared to tell other people that I was offering legal loans and that they didn¡¯t have to deal with those animals anymore¡­ Yeah, I¡¯m a real hard case. An unforgivable criminal who did unforgivable things¡­.¡±

    Sheloran raged, her voice filling the courtroom.

    ¡°You go to Uhrrbet. You see what they did to her, what they were going to do to others, what they were going to do to my people¡­ what they said they were going to do to me if I didn¡¯t stop¡­ And don¡¯t even say some poop about the police. Do you know how many of us have tried? Do you know what happens if we do go to the police about them?¡±

    Sheloran looked straight into the camera.

    ¡°So, yeah, I went down there,¡± she said with a smirk. ¡°I went down there to say, No! No more! This¡­ poop ends <em>right pooping now!</em> I¡¯m not backing down! If you say that I¡¯m going to be ¡®next¡¯, then fine¡­ make me next¡­ I pooping <em>dare </em>you¡­ And I¡¯m not going to lie, I <em>wanted</em> them to try to ¡®make me next¡¯... And when they tried, they got what wasing, what had beening for years! And yeah, I did take one of them apart, piece by piece by <em>flushing piece</em> the same way he had taken people apart piece by piece for <em>years</em>¡­ the way he would <em>still be doing it</em> if I didn¡¯t... And I¡¯m the one making a mockery of your precious littlews? I¡¯m the ¡®perversion of the spirit of the Republic¡¯?¡­ Well...¡±

    Sheloran threw her head back and yelled,

    <strong><em>¡°FUCK THE REPUBLIC AND FUCK YOU TOO!¡±</em></strong>

    And just as quickly it had grabbed ahold of her, whatever it was disappeared, leaving Sheloran sitting there in shock.

    Oh, Great Prophet¡­ what have I done? she thought as she grabbed her mouth, no longer trusting it.

    There was yelling and shouting filling her little cubicle, but it wasn¡¯t Judge Dredd¡­

    Not yet.

    ¡°Wooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Holy Fuck!!!!!!!!¡± scrolled across the side of Baxlon¡¯s tank.

    Judge Dredd started to shake as a low rumble began to issue from his mouth that quickly grew into a roar of pure rage.

    ¡°ORDER!!!¡± He shouted, breaking his gavel with the first m on the desk. ¡°ORDER!!!¡± He yelled again, ramming his metal fist into his tall podium over and over, cracking it and throwing splinters of wood up with each strike.

    Enraged, he leaped to his feet, throwing the shattered podium to the floor.

    ¡°CLEAR THE COURT. GET ALL OF THESE FUCKERS OUT OF HERE!!! BAIL IS DENIED!!!¡± Judge Dredd screamed as he lunged towards Sheloran, trying to grab her through the screen.

    He grabbed the holo monitor and raised it above his head, pulling it in close so that his entire rage distorted face filled the entire field of view.

    ¡°DENIED!!! YOU HEAR ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! BAIL IS DENIED!!!¡±

    Sheloran was terrified¡­ He was so angry¡­

    But he wasn¡¯t just angry¡­

    He was in pain¡­

    She wanted to help him so bad.

    Her inner eyelid lifted.

    ¡°You¡¯ve suffered enough,¡± she murmured in a quiet, dreamy voice. ¡°You¡¯ve served your time long ago...¡±

    Judge Dredd froze, just staring at her as a knife shot through his soul¡­ <em>She knew...</em> He didn¡¯t know how she knew, but she did¡­

    ¡°You need to forgiv-¡± Sheloran started to whisper.

    Judge Dredd mmed the monitor to the floor with a howl of pure pain and rage, shattering it.

    As the screen went dead, a low whistle behind her came from the two guards in the room.

    One of them silently opened the door, and the other gestured toward it.

    ¡°This way, please¡­ <em>ma¡¯am.¡±</em>

    Cheers, apuse, and stamping of feet greeted her as she stepped into the hall as the other inmates, awaiting their turn, saluted her.

    Oh, that can¡¯t be good, Sheloran thought as she nervously waved at them as she was ushered quickly down the hall.

    ***

    After sitting a while on a bench with some really scary-looking people who were all smiling big smiles at her and being really friendly, a guard came by.

    ¡°Ms. Sheloran,¡± the guard said with a big smile. ¡°Yourwyer wishes to speak with you¡­ urgently.¡±

    ¡°Bye, Sheloran!¡± a huge burly human said. ¡°Come dinner, you sit with us, ok?¡±

    ¡°Ok, Rob!¡± Sheloran squeaked as she was led into another cubicle.

    Baxlon just looked at her and released a single solitary bubble. (bloop)

    ¡°That was the single¡­ most¡­.¡± Baxlon said slowly, ¡°AMAZING thing I have ever seen in my fucking life! By The Great Ocean itself! I thought he was going to have another fucking stroke!¡±

    Baxlon started shuddering withughter.

    ¡°Do you know that he actually quit for the day?¡± Baxlon howled. ¡°He just fucking walked out! He¡¯s never done that!¡­ Ever! I don¡¯t know what you whispered in his ear, but it hit fucking<em> bone.</em> God, I <strong><em>love</em></strong> you!¡±

    ¡°So I did ok?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°What?¡± Baxlon said as he startedughing harder than ever. ¡°Oh no! You fucking confessed to <em>murder!¡±</em> he said, continuing to howl withughter. ¡°You are going to prison for a very long time! ¡®So I did ok?...¡¯ Gods, you are priceless!¡±

    ¡°Eeeeeee,¡± Sheloran squeaked, her life shing before her eyes (the boring old way, not the scary new way).

    ¡°But it¡¯s going to be the highlight of my career!¡± Baxlon eximed cheerfully. ¡°I¡¯m going to take this one all the fucking way! Jury trial! Media! Appeals! Oh, you are going down in mes, but they are going to be big giant Day-Glo fucking <em>Terran</em> mes!!! The Vengeance during the Battle of All the Marbles mes!!! Finally! Something truly worth a jury! Oh, this is going to be so much fucking FUN!!! Wooo!¡±

    Baxlon spun happily in his globe.

    ¡°I am so d I hooked up with you!¡± he eximed as he rushed forward, his eye filling the entire screen. ¡°I¡¯m not going to make a single fucking credit, but damn, girl, you have been nothing but a hoot to work for. Never a dull moment with you hopping around.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m really going to prison?¡± Sheloran squeaked miserably.

    ¡°Nothing¡¯s certain,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°I¡¯m going to be every bit of the bottom-feeding shit-loach that metallic butt-plug thinks I am on this one, but I¡¯ll be honest¡­ You¡¯re kinda fucked.¡±

    Sheloran just squeaked.

    ¡°Now, normally, I would tell you to do exactly what I say but let¡¯s face it, that¡¯s not going to happen, so you just be you and do your thing. I¡¯ll try to make it work somehow,¡± Baxlonughed. ¡°Oh, I know! <em>Chewba defense!¡±</em>

    ¡°Chewba defense?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry!¡± Baxlonughed. ¡°It¡¯s an ancient time-proven strategy, and it is almost as if it was written just for you! You¡¯re going to be you no matter what, so we weaponize it! Weaponized you! Judge Dredd will fucking LOVE it!¡±

    ¡°That can¡¯t possibly work!¡± Sheloran squeaked so high it was almost inaudible.

    ¡°After that little stunt, you pulled,¡± Baxlonughed, ¡°It¡¯s the only thing that will work!¡±

    ¡°So¡­ What do I do?¡± Sheloran asked miserably.

    ¡°That¡¯s the beauty of it,¡± Baxlonughed. ¡°All you have to do is be yourself. Be you, earnest, lovable, good-natured¡­ <em>guilty as hell</em>¡­ loving, caring, absolutely adorable¡­ Do the rest of it loud enough, and they might just miss that one little detail. You are a mass-murdering psychoth but damned if you aren¡¯t a photogenic one! The jury will love it, and we are totally doing a jury trial! Do you know that you almost started a riot at the courthouse? People love you!¡±

    Sheloran just sighed and shook her head. Of course. Of course, this was pooping happening. Why was she even surprised? Drop her whole life and cross the pooping gxy to avoid life behind bars in a th prison only to wind up in Tartarus for her entire life.

    It was horrible..ly¡­

    funny¡­<em> It was absolutely pooping hrious.</em>

    She started tough.

    ¡°Alright,¡± She said, stillughing, ¡°Talk to me about this Chewba and how he is going to save my stubby little tail.¡±

    ¡°Wait. You¡¯ve never heard about Chewba?¡± Baxlon said in surprise. ¡°I thought you were a Terran fangirl.¡±

    ¡°I am,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°That¡¯s one crime I¡¯m actually guilty of¡­ well, that and murder, it seems...¡±

    ¡°Then boy, do I have a treat for you!¡± Baxlon eximed happily.

 Chapter 113: The Poop Starts to Settle (3) of 2: Sheloran Moves In

    Chapter 113: The Poop Starts to Settle (3) of 2: Sheloran Moves In

    "Well, it seems that we <em>are</em> going to get a chance to get to know each other after all!" Pam said cheerfully from behind a thick transparent partition. "Goody!"

    Sheloran just sat there on her padded cube miserably.

    "Quite the scene in the courtroom!" Pam said brightly. "Woo! I have to say it takes a rare individual to tell <em>any</em> Terran judge to get fucked, but Judge Thaddeus Carter <em>himself</em>¡­ damn! You really let him freaking have it!"

    "Yay me," Sheloran said glumly.

    "Yeah¡­ maybe not the smartest move, but if you are going to go down, go down guns zing!" Pam said brightly. "You sure you aren''t a little Terran in a frog suit?"

    "Nope, just a th¡­ a very unlucky th..."

    "Oh, I''m going to have to call bullshit on that one," Pam smiled. "Before we continue, I should introduce myself, shouldn''t I?"

    Pam drew herself up straight in her chair.

    "I''m agent Pam Dawson!" she said cheerfully. "I''m your profiler!"

    "My profiler?"

    "Yep!" Pam eximed enthusiastically. "It''s my job to figure out what makes you tick, and let me tell you, that''s going to be fun!"

    Sheloran looked at her suspiciously.

    "Don''t feel too special. Most people here have a profiler," she said with a grin. "You guys are just too interesting!"

    "We are?"

    "Sure!" she replied. "We host one of the greatest collections of¡­ <em>unique</em> personalities, truly gifted humans and Kalesh, exotic xeno threats, and the like anywhere in the gxy! It''s a gathering of extremes, true one of a kinds! Normal humans, or any of the standard races for that matter, are <em>boring</em>! You guys? <em>Not</em> boring! I mean, a th? Here?!? If someone told me two days ago that I would be chatting with a th guest, I would have told you that you were high¡­ (and to give me some!)."

    Pam leaned forward on her desk and whispered into the mic.

    "Actually, I would have had to look up what a th even was¡­ and THEN I would have told you that I wanted a hit of what you were smoking! Oh! Speaking of..."

    Pam tapped on her tablet, and a doorway opened. An armed and armoredbat drone floated in¡­

    Carrying a tray that had a bottle of absinthe (her favorite brand!), a beautiful absinthe ss, chilled water, a slotted spoon, and a small dish of sugar cubes.

    "Care for a drink?" she asked. "We took the liberty of sneaking a peek into your hotel, and this stuff would be repugnant beyond words to your roommate, so we figured it was for you!"

    "Um¡­ thanks?" Sheloran said as she walked over. She opened the bottle and took a sniff.

    "If we wanted to poison or drug you, we would just gas you!" Pam said cheerfully as she pointed up at some very suspicious-looking vents in the ceiling. "Or we''d have one of the bots hold you down..."

    Sheloran carefully prepared herself a much-needed drink and took a long sip. Oh, she needed that.

    "Is that your favorite?" Pam asked. "You get an alcohol ration. It would have toe pre-mixed, though. We give you <em>a</em> drink or six a day, not a whole fucking bottle!"

    "Why are you being so nice to me?" Sheloran as she sipped her absinthe suspiciously (still drank it, though).

    "I was wondering when you would ask," Pam smiled. "Everyone asks that eventually. The easy answer is because it''s easy."

    Sheloran just looked at her in confusion.

    "You are among the elite. You guys are the worst of the worst, the deadliest of the deadly, the baddest of the bad. You guys thrive on misery. Adversity empowers you. Brutality only gives you strength. Hell, most of you actually <em>like</em> it."

    "I don''t like it!" Sheloran squeaked, sipping her absinthe.

    "We could make this a living hell," Pam chuckled, "but why exert ourselves so much just to suit you, make you <em>stronger</em>, more <em>dangerous</em>? Tartarus isn''t a ''jail'' or even a ''prison''. It''s a <em>warehouse</em>. Our assigned task is to store some of the most dangerous biological weapons in the gxy, people like you. We aren''t concerned with punishment or reform. Both concepts are aplete waste of time when dealing with individuals like yourself or anyone else here. Do you have <em>any</em> idea who we have in here?!? We can''t do shit to them! What they have been through¡­ what they put themselves through just for fun sometimes¡­ It''s literally impossible to punish them. Beat you down? Seriously? The concept isughable. Whatsh would we use on someone like Tiberius Shane? Starve you? What privations would we use on ''The Maiden'' that could bring her to her knees? Intimidate you? What would we possibly confront Kvash The Wounder with to make him flinch? It''s aplete waste of effort. Shit. You fucks would just view it as free entertainment."

    Sheloran''s eyes widened as she sipped her drink. Who was she going to be tossed in here with?

    "The list goes on and on," Pam chuckled. "Nobody in here is going to break. If they could safely be brought to heel, they wouldn''t be here in the first ce!"

    "I can!" Sheloran squeaked nervously.

    Pam justughed.

    "You are actually a prime example," she chuckled. "I''m still crunching your numbers, but you are ''just a normal everyday th'',pletely ''nice'', totally ''docile'' (at least where violence goes)..."

    "I am!"

    "¡­ until you get ''pushed''..." Pam smiled wickedly. "Then you enter some sort of fugue state and be <em>incredibly dangerous</em> with the reaction times and target acquisition speed easily equal to that of a sufficiently trained, <em>fully enhanced</em> human special operative. We have you on tape, both your own and the restaurant''s footage¡­ would you like to see?"

    Sheloran just shook her head.

    "Well, take my word for it," Pam enthused, "when you ckout shit gets <em>freaky</em>, and you can go toe to toe with <em>anyone</em>, not just Harkeen thugs, and that''s before we even begin to talk about your ''other abilities''. It''s in our best interest to keep you feelingfortable and, even more importantly, <em>safe</em>. I would much rather deal with you than¡­ <em>you</em>..."

    "Other abilities?"

    "Your innate technological abilities for one!" Pam eximed. "You just throw together the coolest little toys! The stuff you normally make is neat! The shit you made while in the Twilight Zone¡­ The techies are still trying to figure out your Barn-Mart specials! Any info you feel likeying on us would be deeply appreciated!"

    "I¡­ I learned it from a video game..." Sheloran stammered.

    "I like you!" Pam replied cheerfully. "I''m not sure if you actually believe that or are just a really good liar, but I''m going to let you in on something," she said as she pulled out the pistol she discarded in front of the hospital from a drawer in her desk, "<em>This</em> didn''te from a video game. We checked them all."

    "It¡­ It was based on one! That''s where I learned-"

    "Advanced electronics? Weaponsmithing? High-level electric and electronic engineering? Advanced physics?" Pam asked, "And <em>something else</em> that we are still trying to figure out¡­ Even this little toy has some very smart, very educated people very, very excited."

    "I just tweaked it a little," Sheloran said ufortably.

    "Sure you did," Pam winked. "Those little tweaks have some quite highly paid people not only a little confused but actually a bit pissed off. Why didn''t you just use this little monster? It was certainly up for the task!"

    "<em>Because I wanted them to-</em>" Sheloran started to hiss and then mped her hands over her mouth with a squeak.

    "Suffer?" Pam asked, her eyes gleaming malevolently? "Oh, don''t worry," she smiled. "I''m not DOJ, and we have little interest in supporting their little games. We honestly do not care."

    "DOJ?"

    "Department of Justice," Pam smiled. "I don''t get paid to do those people''s jobs for them. I mean, if we catch you nning a crime outside of this facility, then yeah, we clue them in, but as far as helping them with a current investigation or trial? Pssh. I''ve got better things to do than be an active threat for one of our residents or guests. I mean, we <em>think</em> we got all the bases covered, but¡­ we aren''t <em>you</em> now are we? I am NOT going to be the reason you ckout next time! They don''t pay me nearly enough for that bullshit."

    "Who¡­ who are you with then?"

    "The <em>facility</em> was built by, and the exterior and outer spaces are guarded by the Republic armed forces," Pam replied. "As far as the rest of the internal and administrative staff and<em> I</em> go, let''s just say that we serve the Republic and leave it at that."

    "Intelligence?" Sheloran asked in rm.

    "...We serve the Republic..." Pam smiled. "As a guest, all you need to know is that you will be well provided for and are <empletely safe</em>. Everywhere you will go is covered by auto-turrets and patrolled bybat drones, and we don''t use stunners. If someone starts trouble, then they will stop¡­ instantly. Even you can''t dodge them. Please inform your alter-ego. Even the most aggressive, violent,bative person here isn''t keen to throw their life away when there won''t even be a fight. No fun, no glory, just¡­ darkness. That plus our two wardens, wardenssitude and warden corpulence keep most people in line. I won''t bother telling you to rx or try to reassure you further, but you will see. Things aren''t bad here at all! In fact, a lot of people are very happy to call this ce home!"

    A secondbat bot entered the room carrying a small athletic bag and a tablet.

    "That is your bag," Pam said cheerfully. "You got a change of clothes, some undies (based on what we found in your hotel), and some slippers that I''m pretty sure you will like. There is also a tablet. You can use that to check the schedule, watch some vids, andmunicate with me, of course!" Pam enthused. "You need <em>anything</em> or have any questions¡­ or just want to talk, feel free to give me a call at <em>any time</em>. I do eat and sleep, but I check my messages all the time!"

    "Um¡­ thanks..." Sheloran said dubiously.

    "And if you want to chat with someone out there in the real world, you can request a monitored line!" Pam enthused. "Someone''s going to be listening in, of course, but at least it''s something, right?"

    "Uh, ok..." Yeah, that wasn''t going to happen. She would send messages through Baxlon. That was probably monitored, too, but if they acted on it, Baxlon would eat them alive!

    "Just follow the bot, and it will take you to your new <em>temporary</em> home (fingers crossed, right?)," Pam smiled.

    "Follow me, ma''am," one of the bots said in a disturbingly human-sounding voice as it hovered off.

    Sheloran, clutching her tablet and bag, followed.

    After she left, Pam''s friendly smile faded to an expressionless mask, her warm eyes zing over and turning to ice.

    She pulled out amunicator.

    "Hello," a dead, expressionless male voice answered.

    "I have a candidate," Pam replied with a cold purr. "She needs to be a resident. See to it."

    "I will inform the DOJ," the man replied and hung up.

    Pam reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a simple white armband emzoned with a three-headed hound embroidered in ck and silver thread.

    She strapped it to her right arm and, with near mechanical precision, rose and walked to the door.

    As it opened, two guards leveled their shotguns at her.

    She smiled at the fear in their eyes. They lived only because she let them, and they <em>knew</em> it.

    "I''m ready to return to my cell," she said in a dead voice.

    ***

    Sheloran was shown to a small cell with a bunk bed and a pair of desks¡­ as well as a really, really exposed shower/toilet/sinkbo.

    Wow. It was just hanging out right there in the corner, just like she would be whenever she used it.

    At least the door could close (and lock?) whenever she wanted it to.

    If the door can close and lock, that means¡­

    She searched the room and, yep, sensors. Her every single move was tracked.

    At least they weren''t cameras. So she could at least hope for a modicum of privacy.

    She turned to the bunks. The bottom one was upied, so she started setting up on the top one.

    "Hey," a male voice said.

    It was one of the guys from the hall that was pping when she lost her pooping mind (again).

    <em>Wait! There were men here?!?</em>

    "You''re a man!" she eximed in surprise.

    "Wasst time I checked," heughed. "Guys and girls are all mixed together here¡­ I know. Weird, right?"

    Sheloran just nodded.

    "They say that the ce is so secure they only need to make one. If anyone acts stupid¡­" he put two fingers to his head "Bang! Besides, everyone is fucking deadly here, and everybody knows it, so nobody is someone you want to fuck with. They say it helps keep us ''properly socialized'' or some bullshit like that. Don''t know about that, but it''s nice having women around, even if I don''t have a girlfriend¡­ yet! Name''s Roop. Nice to meet you!"

    "Sheloran," she replied.

    "I heard you today in the cubes!" he said. "Fucking badass, man!"

    "Yeah, I sure told them..." Sheloran said ruefully.

    "Oh, your cellie is in the dayroom," Roop said. "She practically lives in there. She''s one of the Grimdark Fifty-Thousand nerds. It''s almost like you have a private room!"

    "Well, that will make pooping easier."

    Roop burst outughing.

    "You''re alright," he said. "So, what are you in for?"

    "Oh, I really shouldn''t-"

    Roopughed some more.

    "Cha-ka!" heughed as he mimicked cracking a whip. "Just kidding! Everyone knows why <em>you''re</em> here! Those fucking Threen picked the wrong madam to fuck with! Fucking brutal, man! The way you just walked in there¡­ and then just sat down and ordered fucking breakfast!¡­ Invited fucking SWAT to join you!¡­ Didn''t even flinch when they hit you with the shbangs!¡­ Just raised your fucking coffee mug!¡­ Pure motherfucking ss!"

    Sheloran winced.

    "Hey, you wanna go grab a beer?" he asked. "I have twoin''."

    "Oh, I appreciate it, but-"

    "I know, ''nothing''s free in the joint'', but trust me, here it fucking is! I get six beers a day, not counting all the weed! You won''t owe me a fucking thing!"

    "You already sniffing around the new girl?" a husky female voiceughed as a huge human woman loomed into view. "I done told you you will probably have to wait till you be a resident to hook up!"

    A gigantic tattooed woman gave Roop an affectionate headlock.

    "Don''t mind Roop," the womanughed. "Horny little fuck''s been humpin'' everybody''s leg since he got here!"

    "It wasn''t like that!" Roop protested. "I was just weing the new guy!"

    "Uh-huh..." The mountain of a womanughed. "Tell you what," she grinned. "If you act right, you cane by my roomter, and I''ll give you a little bit."

    Roop''s eyes lit up.

    "Really?!?"

    "Sure! Why not!" the giant woman said. "Your sack must be about ready to pop! How long has it been?"

    "Nine years..." Roop said, almost whining.

    "Well, no wonder you are so wound up!" sheughed. "Let me take care of business here, and I''ll take you to heaven right after!"

    "Really?!?!?" Roop replied.

    "Get a load of this guy," the womanughed. "Yes, Roop, really. Now go to my room and wait." "Yes, ma''am!" he eximed almost in ecstasy.

    He started to sprint away but paused and turned to Sheloran.

    "I was serious about grabbing a beer with ya!"

    "Get out of here!" The woman said, swatting Roop''s butt.

    He left at a sprint.

    "Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!!" he voice cried out as he ran.

    "Forgive Roop," sheughed. "He really wasn''t trying to trick you into owing him. He''s just trying to be nice. Hard to believe he chopped up his entire family."

    "Eeep!"

    "But we don''t judge here," the woman said. "It''s one of our rules. I''m Lee, but everyone calls me Momma Bear. I''m the resident advisor for the block."

    "Resident advisor?"

    "Yeah," Lee replied. "I''m a ''resident'' here, a lifer, and I live down here with you guests to help you guys out. Are you familiar with the trustee system?"

    Sheloran shook her head.

    "Well, here in Tartarus, we prisoners operate this ce. We keep it running, keep it clean, and keep it orderly. You will only see the guards when you are in the outer ''shell''. Once you enter the ''core'', it''s just us¡­ and the sensors, turrets, and bots, of course. We trustees are the bosses. We assign jobs, wipe noses, swat butts, and do whatever else that needs doing. You have any questions or need something, I''m your girl. Juste see Momma Bear, and I''ll point you in the right direction."

    "Yes, ma''am," Sheloran said meekly.

    "You can drop that ''ma''am'' bullshit. Call me either Lee or Momma Bear. We are here for a reason, after all! I''m no better than you! I''ve just been here longer, that''s all!" she said with an odd look in her eye for a moment.

    She shook herself.

    "Anyway, stash your shit, and I will show you around!"

    ***

    "¡­ and don''t screw with the bots," Lee said as they strolled the block. "They aren''t packing stunners, and they will kill you. If they say something, listen. They will only say it once."

    Sheloran just nodded as she looked around.

    "And see the bot with the gold markings?" Lee continued. "Those are manned. A guard is piloting it. You want to talk to the man, just talk to one of those. If you ever have a problem with someone or feel even a little unsafe and you can''t find me, or if you don''t want to talk to me about it for some reason, go to a goldie. Just don''t try to ''take care of it'' yourself. There are too many turrets and drones. You will die. I''m serious about that. Don''t test them."

    "Ok," Sheloran squeaked.

    "Let''s see..." Lee said as she looked out across themon area. "There!" she eximed as she pointed at a specially decorated gold drone. "See the one with the star? That''s officer Jax! He''s the block''s concierge officer. He''s your point of contact as far as the man goes. Between him and me, we can take care of whatever you need. Let''s go say hello!"

    ***

    Officer Jax was really nice.

    After they met with him, Lee said that she had to go and ''take care'' of Roop.

    With a big grin and a wave, she left.

    When it was time for lunch, Sheloran was amazed. Everything was so yummy! Oh, it was so <em>nice!</em> There was this massive sd bar loaded down with apples, oranges, and bananas and those wonderful tomatoes that Terra had. Everything was so fresh! They say that it''s because they grow a lot of it here!

    Oh! And the olive bar! Great Prophet, it was so good!

    And you could go back as much as you wanted!

    They even had these ''fountains'' that had <em>chocte</em> pouring down the sides in thick sheets, and you could dip fruit and bread and all sorts of things in it! Wow! She had never seen anything like that before!

    She didn''t have her dispensary card yet, but it was "sangria day" so she could get a ss or two (She discovered that she absolutely adored sangria!), and nobody minded. They just said that she could just ''pour in'' next time. In fact, they insisted and kept filling up her cup until a bot said that she had had enough. (Ok, just one more ss, then that''s it!)

    She was still nervous as anything, but everyone was really nice to her. In fact, she was a bit of a celebrity. It turns out that she was all over the news and everyone knew what she had done and what she had said to Judge Dredd.

    There were even people who wanted to be her boyfriend!¡­

    And one person who wanted to be her girlfriend!

    <em>Everyone wants to be my ''friend'' except for a pooping th!</em> Sheloran thought ruefully as she politely declined yet another offer.

    She was a little bit ttered, though. When people expressed ''interest'' before, it was because she was a ''cute'' little xeno. They were interested in ''what'' she was¡­

    Here, they were offering because of ''who'' she was, what she had done. They wanted to be with her because she was a badass, one of them.

    It was different¡­ and a bit exciting if she was perfectly honest. They actually wanted <em>her</em>! It didn''t matter if she was weird¡­ or even that she was "bad"¡­ They actually wanted <em>her</em>!

    Maybe she could¡­ <em>No! Absolutely not!</em> Poop! What was she thinking?

    And she wasn''t ''one of them''!¡­

    <em>Was she?¡­</em>

    Completely overwhelmed, she retreated to her room and locked the door.

    She hoped that her cellie was nice.

    She pulled a really nice nket over her head and hid for a while.

    ***

    [Chatroom UNDEFINED]

    [Private Chatroom UNDEFINED]

    [Present: Bunny]

    [Interpol-2 has entered the chat]

    ///Bunny: Oh shit! Five-Oh! Five-Oh!///

    ///Interpol-2: Good afternoon, Bunny :) Keeping out of trouble (at least in the Republic)? ///

    ///Bunny: Funny you should mention that...///

    ///Interpol-2: Goddammit, Bunny! YOU PROMISED!///

    ///Bunny: I promise a lot of shit :D ///

    ///Interpol-2: So why the summons? You just wanted to gloat?///

    ///Bunny: I need a teeny, tiny, almost insignificant little favor.///

    ///Interpol-2: You actually expect me to assist you in¡­ BREAKING THE LAW?!?///

    ///Bunny: Yep! :D ///

    ///Interpol-2: I should just log off and issue an alert, but I simply have to know. What the hell are you nning, and exactly why the FUCK should I help you?///

    ///Bunny: You know the Tartarus Detention Facility?///

    ///Interpol-2: Bunny¡­ You can''t be serious!///

    ///Bunny: :) ///

    ///Interpol-2: One. It''s impossible, even for you and two¡­ there is no two! It''s suicide!///

    ///Bunny: Care to make a little wager then? The bet: We hit the ce, break out exactly who we want and only who we want, and then escape without a trace.///

    ///Interpol-2: I know we''ve enjoyed a little wager or two in the past but not this time! This is too much! The fucking Cerberus program is in there! Please tell me this isn''t about them!///

    ///Bunny: Rx, we aren''t touching any of the hounds. Even we have our limits! No, this is just good old-fashioned high treason. ///

    ///Interpol-2: High treason? WTF? I thought you guys were on our side!///

    ///Bunny: Rx, it has to do with Kung-Fu Cunny. ///

    ///Interpol-2: Oh, that''s cool then! :D I''ll take a piece of that action! (but no touchy Cerberus!) God! It would be GREAT if Tart got taken down a peg or three!///

    ///Bunny: We''re going after a guest. We aren''t getting anywhere near the residential levels.///

    ///Interpol-2: And you need me to make this happen?///

    ///Bunny: Hell no! The day I need your help to pull off a job is the day I start doing people''s taxes for a living!///

    ///Interpol-2: Then what do you want?///

    ///Bunny: You want to hear something fucking hrious?///

    ///Interpol-2: I could use augh. ///

    ***

    Sheloran entered the dining hall expectantly.

    If anything, lunch was just a warm-up!

    Supper was <em>amazing</em>! She grabbed a te of grilled veggies and gleefully raided the sd bar.

    She paused over the pile of goodies in front of her as she gave thanks to the Great Prophet for the feast. She might be stuck here for well¡­ maybe forever¡­ but at least the food was good!

    She wondered what their gardens were like. She bet they were fantastic and wondered how long it would be before she could see them.

    As she raised the first forkful of goodness to her waiting mouth, a blur zipped in andnded across from her.

    "Hi!" a slightly built blonde female eximed. "I''m Zippo! Your cellie! Sorry I didn''t meet you before, but the Bionids wereunching a raid, and we had to put those foul xenos down in the name of the Emperor!¡­ Sorry¡­ I don''t mean ''xeno'' like you. I mean ''xeno'' like <em>xenos!</em> I y Grimdark! Do you like Grimdark? It''s awesome! You can read my books if you want! We have a greatmunity here! I hear it''s even better once you be a Resident! You sh stuff up, huh? I saw the news! Pretty cool! I like fire! I burn stuff! I just can''t help it! I just love to watch <em>mes</em>, you know! Did you know that fire meets all of the requirements for life itself? It does! That''s how I got here! I just kept burning stuff! Did you know you can start a fire with just..."

    <em>Oh, Creators...</em> Sheloran thought in horror. This was her pooping cell mate?¡­ Great¡­

    "¡­ And they were really mean to me there, so I burned them up! Oh, how they screamed! It was so funny!..."

    <em>Wait. What?</em> Sheloran thought in rm as she caught thatst bit.

    "You burned your cellmates?" Sheloran asked, her eyes widening in rm.

    "Well, the people in my bay," Zippo replied. "We didn''t have ''cells''. We all lived in one big room, which made it really easy to get them all! See, what I did was..."

    <em>I have a killer for a cellmate¡­ Great¡­</em> Sheloran thought glumly and then chuckled. Of course she did. She was here, after all.

    "¡­ and then BOOM! WOOSH!" Zippo said as she threw her arms wide. "Everything burned! I used to be a chemistry major! Straight A''s! That''s how I knew you could make-"

    "Excuse me," Sheloran said after she swallowed a slice of perfectly ripe avocado.

    "Yeah?"

    "Why did you burn your fellow prisoners again?"

    "Because they wouldn''t stop beating on me! They said I talked too much! So anyway, like I was saying, I used to be a chemistry major, so I knew you could take the detergent and mix it with..."

    <em>There it is,</em> Sheloran chuckled. She was wondering where the turd in the sd was. But, at least she spent most of the day ying that Grimdark game.

    "¡­ but don''t worry! I''m not burning anything anymore! I can''t! I don''t wanna die¡­ or worse!"

    "Worse?"

    "You DON''T want to go where they send you if you get ''voted off of the ind''!"

    "Where''s that?" Sheloran asked, quite concerned. Knowing the universe''s fondness for pooping on her head, she would probably go there too, sooner orter.

    "Oh, it''s bad!" Zippo said with big eyes. "It''s called-"

    Zippo trailed off into wide-eyed silence as four elderly people quietly walked up.

    "Good evening, Zip," an old man said with a smile. "Mind if we chat with your friend here?"

    "Sure!" Zippo squeaked and quickly grabbed her tray, and fled.

    "You''re wee," the man said as he sat down across from her. "Five minutes with that girl is more than enough for anyone. I''m Martin," he said as he extended his hand.

    "Sheloran, nice to meet you," she replied as she shook it.

    "Kid," Martin said, "You got style. You handled your business yourself. You didn''t send some punk. You even did it with style. Didn''t bother trying to run, just sat yourself down and ordered breakfast, even tipped your waiter. ss act. Much respect."

    "Um, thanks?"

    "And you didn''t scrape and beg in front of that judge," Martin smiled. "Fuck the Republic and Fuck you too¡­ ssic! Wish I had said something that badass when I was on trial."

    "That was kind of a mistake, actually," Sheloran replied.

    "Heh¡­ probably," Martin said as they allughed. "But some mistakes you just gotta make!"

    He leaned forward.

    "I just got one question," he asked. "Why did you do it? Why did you kill those fuckers?"

    Sheloran just sighed. Just be yourself, right?

    "They hurt my people," Sheloran snarled. "innocent people, people who hadn''t done a pooping thing to anyone¡­ made her kid watch while they..."

    Sheloran hissed.

    "Nobody hurts <em>my people</em> and gets away with it!"

    The group all looked at each other and nodded.

    "Kid," Martin smiled. "You ever hear of ''The Saints''?¡­."

    "No?"

    "We are a¡­ professional association¡­ of like-minded individuals," Martin smiled. "From all across the Republic¡­ A ''union'' of sorts¡­ a union that you might benefit from joining."

    "Look, Martin," Sheloran said carefully, "I appreciate it, but I just want to get through this without getting in any more trouble..."

    They allughed.

    "We aren''t some pissant prison gang," Martin chuckled. "I''m talking about when you beat the rap. You are running a pretty nice little game on your own, but as you have found out, it can be hard without people at your back¡­ and with The Saints, you can take your little game and make it a lot bigger. We don''t do shit here except our time. The only ''perk'' you get here is that Zippo won''t crash your lunch. She steers clear of us. She doesn''t want the Orggs wiping out her legion likest time she crossed us."

    "Yeah, little bitch tried ying in the big leagues," a silver-haired woman snarled. "We crunched up all her tasty little smurfs!"

    "It''s the closest thing to a shanking we can manage around here," Martin chuckled. Krista here does board games, I do cards, Sven handles the FPS and RTS racket. You game?

    Sheloran smiled.

    "A little..."

 Chapter 114: Judge Dredd Remembers and Sheloran Gets Screwed

    Chapter 114: Judge Dredd Remembers and Sheloran Gets Screwed

    Thad Carter leveled his pistol at thest of the Parson n.

    ¡°Why?!?¡± Hesta Parson screamed.

    ¡°You know why,¡± Thad said grimly as he pulled the trigger and, with a searing sh, Hesta fell.

    He turned to a rail-thin grim-faced woman standing beside him.

    ¡°We don¡¯t have enough for our own,¡± he said with a resigned sigh. ¡°We can¡¯t feed their kids...¡±

    The woman silently nodded and walked out of the tent.

    He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed heavily. How had ite to this? Killing an entire family over a few chests of canned food. No. They brought this on themselves. They drew first blood. This was on them.

    It was ugly, but it was justice¡­ Or what passed for ¡°justice¡± these days...

    He stepped out into the morning light as a terrified child started to sprint, screaming, through the shabbypound.

    Cursing the world, God, and himself, he raised his pistol¡­

    ***

    Judge Thaddeus Carter awoke. As he did, glowing lines of text appeared in his vision, reporting his vitals and the status of the dozen different systems that kept him breathing.

    One of the lines had the time. It was 03:00. Tired as he was, he was not going back to sleep.

    <em>You¡¯ve suffered enough...</em> a little xeno voice whispered in his mind. <em>You need to forgiv-</em>

    ¡°Some things can never be forgiven,¡± he said quietly to the empty room.

    He struggled to his feet and wandered into the kitchen.

    He winced as he reached for a bowl.

    ***

    ¡°Thad, honey,¡± the thin woman said, her voice filled with concern, ¡°C¡¯mon¡­ you need to eat.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not hungry, Selene,¡± he said with a sigh.

    ¡°You ¡®haven¡¯t been hungry¡¯ for two days,¡± she said. ¡°And you didn¡¯t eat that day either.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t touch it,¡± Thad said quietly. ¡°That food, what we did to get it¡­ I can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Well, this is from our stock,¡± she said, holding a small bowl. ¡°Can you at least eat that?¡±

    Thaddeus Carter just rolled over and stared at the wall.

    ¡°Hey¡­ hey...¡± the woman said. ¡°You didn¡¯t know. None of us did. It wasn¡¯t your fault. It wasn¡¯t anyone¡¯s fault. It¡¯s just this¡­ this fucking ash!¡±

    ¡°I examined the evidence,¡± he said. ¡°I passed judgment. I made the call. It¡¯s my fault.¡±

    ¡°How were you supposed to know that Sammy wasn¡¯t running with them anymore?¡± Selene asked. ¡°And you aren¡¯t a judge anymore. <em>We</em> all made the decision, and <em>we</em> all have to live with the mistake that <em>we</em> made, ok? Now please eat something.¡±

    ¡°Please leave me, Selene.¡±

    ¡°Goddamn it!¡± the woman yelled. ¡°You just gonna give up? Let yourself starve?¡±

    ¡°Murders don¡¯t deserve to live...¡±

    ¡°Ok, fine,¡± Selene said and then took a deep breath. ¡°Thaddeus Carter, I find you guilty of the murder of the Parson n, and I sentence you to an eternity of servitude in the worst ce I can send you, Earth. There you will lead a bunch of murdering scum and keep their innocent kids alive. Happy? Now get up off your sorry ass and eat!¡±

    ***

    <em>You served your time long ago...</em> Sheloran¡¯s voice whispered in his ears.

    Judge Dredd just sighed sadly as he filled the bowl with instant oatmeal.

    ¡°An eternity means forever, frog-girl,¡± he muttered as he stirred in the water.

    An email came in. His new kidney had been built.

    ***

    Sheloran turned a small holographic ¡°Orgg¡± back and forth, thoughtfully ¡°painting¡± it a mottled blue color.

    ¡°I appreciate you giving me a hand,¡± Krista said as she was carefully ¡°assembling¡± a scrap giant.

    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t mind!¡± Sheloran said happily. ¡°This is fun!¡± she eximed as she examined her orgg. It needed something.

    ¡°So you have to repaint all of the miniatures that get killed?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°We y for ¡®skins¡¯ here,¡± Krista replied as she started carefully painting her orgg mech. ¡°Makes it more interesting. Makes it so that you actually lose something.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Sheloran said as she examined her orgg. Stripes! Warriors should have stripes! She carefully started ¡°airbrushing¡± them on.

    ¡°Wow,¡± Krista said, looking over at Sheloran¡¯s work. ¡°That¡¯s nice! You don¡¯t need to put that much into them, though. They are probably going to get eaten by the bionids.¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°I can take them off.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Krista eximed. ¡°He looks awesome, and theputer grades the paint job. The better and more detailed the paint, the better the stats! It keeps people from just painting their guys one color and chucking them on the board. Shit paint means shit stats.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s why Zippo is so nervous around you.¡±

    ¡°Heh, little bitch had to repaint damn near her entire legion.¡± Krista chuckled. ¡°Damn, froggy!¡± she eximed as she looked at a small glowing panel hovering over the figure that Sheloran had just finished. ¡°You can paint any of my shit that you want! Here! You want to paint this big guy?¡±

    A muchrger orgg appeared in front of Sheloran.

    ¡°Ok!¡± Sheloran smiled.

    A few minutester, Sheloran looked up with dreamy eyes.

    ¡°So these guys were created by another race to fight a war for them?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Krista said as she zoomed in on the mech. She wasn¡¯t going to let herself be outdone by this noob. ¡°The Elder Ones made them to fight in the Celestial War.¡±

    ¡°No wonder they lost,¡± Sheloran mused as she started idly ¡°carving¡± strange glyphs into the chest of the holographic figure in front of her.

    ¡°Got something to say about the orggs, bitch?¡± Kristaughed.

    ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s not that...¡± Sheloran muttered, lost in her work. ¡°It¡¯s just that the Elder Ones put all that effort in creating these guys and that other race...¡±

    ¡°The elvaren.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, them...¡± Sheloran muttered as her hands took on a life of their own. ¡°They had much better material to work with...¡±

    ¡°They did?¡± Krista asked, intrigued.

    ¡°Themselves,¡± Sheloran murmured. ¡°They were so much more advanced than whatever they would have used as the base stock for these orggs and those other guys. They should have just taken some of their own species and used them to make a warrior caste. They might have won if they did that. Too many of the first races made that mistake. They didn¡¯t want to get their hands dirty, so they hid behind their creations, be they flesh or machine. You don¡¯t win wars by distancing yourself from them. You win by <em>embracing war</em>¡­ You don¡¯t close your mouth. You drink deep.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Krista said. ¡°I never thought of that.¡±

    ¡°Thought of what?¡± Sheloran asked brightly and then gasped in astonishment at what was sitting in front of her. ¡°I¡­ I think I¡¯m done with this one...¡±

    Krista just looked in stunned surprise at the stats panel for Sheloran¡¯stest creation. Holy shit!

    ¡°Here!¡± Krista eximed as she handed over the mech she was working on. ¡°Do this one next!¡±

    Sheloran just grinned.

    This was fun!

    ***

    Gloria stood in front of her Reaper andughed an honest, genuineugh.

    ¡°I know I said I didn¡¯t care what it looked like, but goddamn!¡± Gloriaughed. ¡°That is fucking <em>ugly</em>.¡±

    ¡°You say fuck ship!¡± that wispy xeno said, holding a strange-looking welding rig. ¡°So I fuck ship!¡±

    Gloria walked along the modification. It wasn¡¯t pretty, but it was perfectly symmetrical. She poked at the seam where it was attached.

    ¡°Glue?¡± she asked, raising her eyebrow.

    ¡°Sent,¡± Harval replied. ¡°Fresh welds that long and heavy would screw with the crystalline structure of your ship¡¯s frame, so we attached it with spring rivets and used miner¡¯s paste to make it airtight. The whole thing will flex instead of crack. It will be good up to twenty-five G¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°I¡¯m not saying that the Navy uses something like this, but IF they did, this would actually be better.¡±

    ¡°Pssk,¡± the xeno welder scoffed. ¡°Better than your Navy no praise. You humans think you weld. You no weld. You stick metal together. You no weld.¡±

    ¡°Big words, little guy,¡± Gloria smiled.

    ¡°I thought so too,¡± Harval said, ¡°until he showed me. These weird little fucks know welding!¡±

    Gloria opened the hatch and looked inside.

    ¡°I know it looks like hell,¡± Harval said. ¡°But the webbing attachment points are secure, and the instion will keep things at least habitable. Unfortunately, we couldn¡¯t grab a proper life support module, so we had to improvise. It¡¯s ancient-tech, but we were able to scab it together with shit we hadying around, and it will support six humans for four hours.¡±

    ¡°More than long enough,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°We can do it in two.¡±

    ¡°Noodle here,¡± Harval said as he nodded at the strange wispy xeno, ¡°says that he can do one more major weld without ¡®fucking ship¡¯, but that¡¯s it. I know you don¡¯t want a modr weapons package, but...¡±

    ¡°You guys do whatever you think is best,¡± Gloria smiled. ¡°Just don¡¯t fuck ship!¡±

    ¡°I no fuck ship!¡± Noodle screeched. ¡°<em>You!</em> You fuck ship!¡±

    ¡°Well unfuck ship then!¡± Gloria grinned and turned to Harval.

    ¡°I like this guy!¡± sheughed.

    ***

    ¡°Great!¡± She said to Gloria¡¯s image on her screen. ¡°We move tonight!¡±

    She terminated the call and turned to Jessie.

    You got our target¡¯s location?

    ¡°Yep!¡± Jessie bubbled. ¡°She spends her day getting worked over, and then they tuck her in for the night right¡­ here!¡± she said as a projection of Tartarus appeared in the middle of the bridge.

    ¡°Nice work, you two,¡± She said as she examined the model.

    ¡°There is one thing I need to talk to you about, though,¡± Jessie said, her face bing uncharacteristically serious. ¡°It¡¯s about our little frog-buddy. She¡¯s fucked.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Shelia asked.

    ***

    ¡°What the FUCK do you mean I¡¯m off the case?!?¡± Thaddeus Carter yelled into hismunicator.

    ¡°Sorry, Carter,¡± a refined-looking ck woman with close-cropped grey natural hair replied. ¡°After that scene in your courtroom, we feel it best if you not handle this one, for appearances¡¯ sake.¡±

    ¡°Fucking appearances?!?¡± Judge Dredd yelled. ¡°You doubt my impartiality?!?¡±

    ¡°Of course not,¡± the woman smiled. ¡°It¡¯s just that the xenos are all up in arms. It¡¯s just politics, you understand. If there is a conviction with you presiding, then her little xenowyer is going to appeal using you as the reason. We don¡¯t want this circussting any longer than it needs to.¡±

    ¡°That shit-loach is fucking slippery!¡± Judge Dredd replied. ¡°Only I know how to deal with that slimy little fucker.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain that the judge handling this case will be up to the task.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah?¡± Judge Dredd asked skeptically. ¡°Who.¡±

    She just smiled.

    ¡°I will be handling this case personally,¡± she said with a cold smile.

    ¡°You?!?¡± he asked,pletely astonished. He then narrowed his eyes at her. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°The Republic just feels that this one should be handled delicately, that¡¯s all.¡±

    A chill started to creep down Judge Dredd¡¯s polymer spine.

    ¡°Ok,¡± he replied with a smile. ¡°I know when I¡¯m beat.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you have decided to be reasonable for once.¡±

    ¡°So when is the next hearing?¡± he asked.

    ¡°You needn¡¯t concern yourself with that.¡±

    More chills.

    ¡°Oh, I disagree,¡± Judge Dredd smiled. ¡°It seems that I need to work on my ¡®refinement¡¯. Who better to study than you, and if it is so ¡®delicate¡¯ then an extra set of eyes wouldn¡¯t hurt, would it? Besides, I called dibs.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Jesus Christ, Thad,¡± the woman said with an exasperated tone.

    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to help,¡± Judge Dredd said with a syrupy sweet tone. ¡°I¡¯m intimately familiar with her attorney and know all of his tricks. I can keep him from being able to sessfully appeal.¡±

    ¡°That <em>won¡¯t</em> be necessary, Judge Carter.¡±

    ¡°Necessary or not,¡± Judge Dredd replied. ¡°You are stuck with me on this one! So, when is the next hearing.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t scheduled it yet,¡± she smiled. ¡°My docket is quite full, so it will be worked in as time allows.¡±

    ¡°Then someone else should handle it. The Republic guarantees the used a speedy trial.¡±

    ¡°The Republic,¡± the woman said coolly, ¡°guarantees a <em>citizen</em> a speedy trial. A piece of Federation <em>garbage</em> can fucking wait until the state finds it convenient to <em>convict</em> them. She¡¯s guilty as hell, and we both know it. She can sit in Tartarus until we make it official. A few months or even years won¡¯t make the slightest difference. I¡¯ll even give her credit for time served, not that it will matter.¡±

    <em>Fuck,</em> he thought as he felt a sick feeling settle in his gut.

    ¡°Citizen or not,¡± he said, his voice starting to rise, ¡°Sheloran is a living, breathing person who deserves-¡±

    ¡°Sheloran?¡± the woman sneered. ¡°Not ¡®the used¡¯? ¡®A living breathing person¡¯? <em>Seriously?</em>¡± the womanughed. ¡°Thad, you¡¯re too close to this one. Back off.¡±

    ¡°The hell I will!¡± he snapped. ¡°You <em>will not</em> just sweep her under the rug!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± the woman said. ¡°I assure you that she will be processed in ordance with all of ourws and customs.¡±

    ¡°Processed?¡± Judge Dredd yelled. ¡°She is not a fucking sausage! She has rights!¡±

    ¡°Such passion, even after all these years,¡± she said with a smile. ¡°so very admirable...¡±

    Her eyes narrowed.

    ¡°Let this one go, Thad. Just walk away,¡± she said with just a touch of menace in her voice.

    ¡°Not going to fucking happen!¡± Judge Dredd shouted. ¡°Sheloran and <em>people</em> like her get rolled over time and time again. Not this time! Not on my watch! She might be guilty as <em>fuck</em>, but she will be <em>tried</em> and, if found guilty, <em>sentenced</em>. She deserves that! She deserves a trial, Tamlyn!¡±

    ¡°I never said she wouldn¡¯t get one,¡± Tamlyn replied. ¡°She will. I personally guarantee it.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Judge Dredd asked. ¡°When?¡±

    ¡°This conversation is over, Thad. As a courtesy, I will email you with any further details,¡± she said with a cold gleam in her almond-shaped eyes. ¡°but you had better stay the <em>Hell</em> out of my way.¡±

    The line went dead.

    <strong>¡°FUCK¡±</strong> Judge Dredd yelled.

    He stood there, seething. Tamlyn was fucking evil! Not corrupt, not ipetent¡­ <em>evil</em>. She would send someone to the gallows just to free up her tee time! She wielded thew like a weapon. So did he, but in his hands, it was a sword of justice. In hers, it was a garrote.

    Sheloran didn¡¯t have a chance!

    But why? She was a major yer. Why was <em>the</em> Tamlyn Johnson interested in a little blue frog-girl from the Free Port?

    Why was she going to destroy Sheloran? That poor kid was never getting out of that hell hole¡­

    <em>Why?</em>

    He essed the databases and pulled up cases.

    His suspicion was correct. Every single time Judge Johnson became involved in a case involving someone being held in Tartarus, they went away for life.

    Every. Single. Time.

    It wasn¡¯t too shocking on the surface. People who are being held there pending trial aren¡¯t there for shoplifting. If someone is being held there, they are <em>probably</em> guilty¡­

    <em>Just like the Parsons PROBABLY raided his camp...</em>

    Judge Dredd started to pull up the entire files for <em>every </em>Tartarus case she had ever touched and then stopped. If his gut was right¡­

    He looked down at his phone, smiled, and then hurled it into the wall, shattering it.

    He sent off an email stating that he was feeling poorly, grabbed a portable battery pack, strapped it on, and headed for the door.

    ***

    ¡°No, see?¡± Kolbth said as he showed a portly blonde the screen. ¡°It¡¯spletely fried. You are gonna need a new phone.¡±

    ¡°But I heard you could fix anything!¡± the woman cried.

    ¡°I can fix a lot,¡± he said with a wiggle of his eyestalks, ¡°But it would cost five times what a new one would just to try and-¡±

    ¡°Do it!¡± she eximed, mming down her bank card.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Kolbth said with a wiggle. ¡°What do you <em>really</em> need here?¡±

    The woman looked down.

    ¡°I want the chat logs¡­ from this phone...¡±

    ¡°Is it your phone?¡±

    ¡°I paid for it! I paid for the ount!¡± she snapped, ¡°So, yes! It is MY phone!¡±

    ¡°Hey, easy,¡± he said soothingly. ¡°Now that I can do but¡­ are you sure?¡± he asked. ¡°From my experience, this won¡¯t help anything.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I need to know!¡± she said, her lip quivering.

    Kolbth sighed.

    ¡°Ok, I¡¯m gonna need cash,¡± he said. ¡°Two hundred and fifty credits.¡±

    The woman just nodded and reached into her purse.

    The door opened.

    ¡°JUDGE CARTER!¡± Kolbth eximed, deftly making the phone disappear. ¡°How LOVELY to see such a noble champion of the LAW here in my humble and COMPLETELY LEGAL establishment.¡±

    Kolbth turned to the terrified woman.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am, I will be happy to repair your phone!¡± he eximed. ¡°Juste back this afternoon, and it will all be taken care of!¡±

    ¡°O...Ok...¡± the woman stammered and, with a speed one wouldn¡¯t expect from someone sorge, departed.

    ¡°I was going to ask if you were keeping out of trouble, Kolbth,¡± Judge Dredd grinned. ¡°But it seems I don¡¯t have to.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you mean, <em>Your Honor</em>,¡± Kolbth replied testily. ¡°I learned my lesson! I¡¯m now just an honest electronics repair guy!¡±

    ¡°Then I¡¯vee to the wrong ce,¡± Judge Dredd replied. ¡°I need something done.¡±

    Kolbth looked at him suspiciously.

    ¡°If you need a new phone, I can help, but otherwise, you got the wrong guy.¡±

    ¡°I actually do need a new phone,¡± Judge Dredd replied with a chuckle. ¡°And while we are setting it up, we are going discuss something else¡­ something that you <em>will</em> help me with.¡±

    Kolbth sighed and turned his eyestalks skyward. Why did the universe hate him?

    ***

    Queen Ulkarettka cleaned her eggs miserably as somervae snuggled her. She stroked therva sadly, already mourning them.

    They were doomed, all of them, and so were the eggs.

    They were just warriors. They shouldn¡¯t matter¡­

    But they did! They mattered so much! They meant so much to her that her heart broke every time they were taken away, never to be seen again.

    They had been so confident when they had invaded. Every projection guaranteed sess¡­

    But their projections didn¡¯t include <em>them</em>¡­

    If you had asked her before the War ursed who the most fearsome, merciless, and strongest species ever gifted with sapience by the progenitors was, she would, without a shred of doubt, would have said it was them, the Blessed Ones. She and her sisters were the pinnacle of creation, destined to wipe clean all inferior life as was the fate of all inferior life.

    Now, she knew better. She grunted as yet more eggs, doomed eggs, squirted from her distended belly. Ascension to motherhood, surrounded by her progeny¡­ every queen¡¯s dream¡­

    Now an unending nightmare¡­

    Ulkarettka flinched as a hatchway opened, and <em>she</em> walked in.

    ¡°Good morning!¡± Pam, d in simple ck trousers and a tunic bearing a silver three-headed hound, said with a bright smile. ¡°And how is my favorite bug doing today? More eggs? How wonderful! The Republic deeply appreciates your assistance!¡±

    Ulkarettka just whined and cowered in pure terror as the <em>monster</em> drew closer. Her antennae quivered as the unmistakable scent of dominance andmand filled the air.

    Pam smiled and exhaled at her asb-grown, surgically imnted nds sprayed alien chemicals into her throat.

    It tickled.

    <strong>OBEY</strong>

    The queen, every fiber of her being screaming with despair and rage, bowed.

    <strong>OBEY</strong>

    Whimpering, the queen rolled over, exposing herself.

    Pam smiled and pulled out a syringe with a long flexible needle.

    ¡°This <em>might</em> sting just a little,¡± Pam said pleasantly, ¡°But then again, you already know that, don¡¯t you?¡±

    The young Collective queen¡¯s anguished screams echoed down the pristine halls of Tartarus.

    ***

    ¡°Let me get this straight,¡± Kolbth said as he eyed Judge Dredd suspiciously, ¡°<em>You</em> want <em>me</em> to help you break the <emw</em>?¡±

    ¡°Thew is only valid when it <em>protects</em> the people,¡± Judge Dredd said grimly. ¡°If I¡¯m right, then that is no longer the case. Thew and the Republic must be protected!¡±

    ¡°And if you¡¯re wrong?¡±

    ¡°Then I will turn myself in.¡± Judge Dredd said calmly, ¡°And you are doing this under duress from a fucking <em>judge</em>. Entrapment doesn¡¯t evene close to describing it. You are covered.¡±

    Kolbth just sat there silently looking at Judge Dredd.

    ¡°I need your help,¡± Judge Dredd said, ¡°Thew is being perverted by one of our own, and they <em>must</em> be stopped. I¡¯ve turned a blind eye to it for too long. A good person¡¯s life is at stake! She might not be innocent, but a good person is going to be¡­ I don¡¯t know what is going to happen to her, but I am certain it¡¯s not good!¡±

    Kolbth turned his eyestalks skyward.

    ¡°Right,¡± Kobth replied. ¡°<em>If</em> I do this, I¡¯m going to need something from you. ¡®Duress¡¯ ain¡¯t gonna cut it.¡±

    ¡°What do you want?¡± Judge Dredd chuckled.

    ***

    Pam walked into arge conference room where twenty ck-d Cerberus members sat around a long table.

    ¡°How is your pet?¡± An elderly man sitting at the head of the table asked.

    ¡°Healthy and full of eggs,¡± Pam replied in a cold, t voice as she sat in the empty seat immediately to his left. ¡°The next batch of warriors should be pupating within the week.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± the man replied. ¡°We¡¯ve run out of them again.¡±

    He turned to a bald, heavily tattooed man.

    ¡°How are the prospectsing along?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve lost three,¡± he replied. ¡°Two washouts, one fatality.¡±

    ¡°A fatality?¡±

    ¡°Suicide. We are still within eptable losses for the ss. We also have a graduate of phase one. They will be undergoing enhancement tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Which package¡±

    ¡°Infiltrator-7 gamma,¡± a ck-d Kalesh replied. ¡°Their physiology and epigic heritage lends itself well to the gamma strain. Projected chance of sess eighty-five percent. Projected chance of fatality fifteen percent.¡±

    ¡°Very nice,¡± the man at the head of the table nodded. ¡°We could use another gamma. RARPA wants more data concerning that strain, and Lord knows we could use another infiltrator. Moving on to active operations. Adept Carya?¡±

    ¡°Operation Snickerdoodle is proceeding well, but we have a minorplication,¡± a raven-haired Asian woman replied. ¡°One of Team Epsilon broke her conditioning and attempted desertion. Adept Ixion eliminated her. Her body was disposed of discretely, and samples were extracted. Operation Buttercup failed. Team Beta sustained three casualties, and the target was not captured. Adept Electra initiated containment protocol theta. The target site waspletely leveled using a captured sma device, and our fallen werepletely incinerated. Chance of human involvement being detected is less than five percent. Electra reports that there was no time to recover samples.¡±

    ¡°Regrettable,¡± the man at the head of the table replied. ¡°When they return, dissolve Team Beta and disqualify all survivors, including Electra. However, allow her to retain her name and allow all members, including Electra, to restart the training program. Electra will continue to lead the reformed Team Beta once she graduates.¡±

    He turned to Pam

    ¡°Achlys, you have a new toy?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Hades,¡± she replied. ¡°A th of all things.¡±

    ¡°The one from the news?¡± he asked. ¡°A bit high-profile for my tastes.¡±

    ¡°The reward far outweighs the risks,¡± Pam replied. ¡°Her performance in the field, in addition to her¡­ remarkable¡­ technological abilities make her valuable. The Republic will benefit greatly with her under our care.¡±

    ¡°What do we know of the th?¡±

    ¡°Next to nothing,¡± She said with a trace of annoyance in her otherwise emotionless voice. ¡°They are a minor Federation species with virtually no presence outside of their home system. In fact, their councilor spends only the barest minimum of time in their capital, opting to do most of his work remotely. They have a reputation for extreme docility and are considered very technologically backward. Their standard education is on par with one of our fifth-graders.¡±

    ¡°And this one is technologically advanced?¡±

    ¡°Extremely,¡± Pam replied. ¡°RARPA is going nuts over her weapons, both the one she normally carried and the two delightful toys she took to the Harkeen restaurant. But unfortunately, I don¡¯t have all of the details yet. They haven¡¯tpleted their initial assessment.¡±

    ¡°These th are interesting,¡± Hades said after a moment. ¡°We should grab a few for study.¡±

    ¡°That would be a mistake,¡± Cassandra, an auburn-haired woman, said calmly.

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°They are too much of an unknown at this point,¡± Adept Cassandra replied as sheid a small bunch of yarrow stalks on the table in front of her. ¡°If this Sheloran exists, who¡¯s to say that they don¡¯t have squads of her. Until we know more about Sheloran and the th in general, it would be unwise to move. There is no need for haste.¡±

    ¡°And Sheloran¡¯s prime motivator is ¡®her people¡¯,¡± Pam said calmly, ¡°If she finds out that we have taken some of her own species for study, it willplicate conditioning to the point that it may be impossible. We should focus on the bird we have in our hands before we start beating the bushes.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of,¡± Hades said, picking up his coffee mug, ¡°do you have a n yet?¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t fullypleted my assessment,¡± Pam replied. ¡°However, I am beginning to get a feel for her, enough to begin softening her up. However, I need more information about the th. I would like to apply for an excursion.¡±

    ¡°The reason?¡±

    ¡°Doctor Stephen Fallbridge,¡± she said, ¡°He is a doctor of xenology at the University of Buenos Aires. As it happens, he did his master¡¯s thesis on modern agrarian cultures, and the th were one of the species that he covered in detail. He also has at least one contact on the th homeworld, an abbot. He is the closest thing the Republic has to an expert on them. I would like to establish a rapport with the good doctor.¡±

    ¡°Approved,¡± Hades said in an emotionless voice. ¡°No side trips this time, Achlys. I will not tolerate another indiscretion.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Hades,¡± Pam smiled.

    ¡°And speaking of ¡®indiscretions¡¯,¡± Hades said with a disapproving nce, ¡°A certain prominent businessman lept to his death yesterday.¡±

    ¡°He was on the list,¡± she replied with a shrug.

    ¡°The list isn¡¯t for entertainment,¡± Hades said with a stern voice. ¡°They are for research and training. Did you learn anything?¡±

    ¡°I learned that he was really afraid of spiders,¡± Pam chuckled.

    ¡°I am beginning to tire of this, Achlys,¡± Hades said with just a touch of menace.

    ¡°I was also able to get useful data on several promising technologies,¡± she added, ¡°I was able topletely break him from thefort of my cell in less than two weeks. Here is my report.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Hades replied as he examined his tablet. ¡°Excellent work, Apate. Your scripts performed wlessly.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± a silver-haired bespectacled female saidpletely without emotion. ¡°Achlys, I am still waiting for your data, especially concerning the ultra and infrasonic noise generation apps.¡±

    ¡°You will get your report by the end of business today,¡± Pam replied. ¡°As far as the noise generators go, I adore them. They absolutely destroyed his sleep quality! His mental state deteriorated quite rapidly.¡±

    Apate just smiled and briefly typed on her tablet.

    ¡°If there is no further business,¡± Hades said, rising. ¡°This meeting is adjourned.¡±

 Chapter 115: Intermission: Craxina Calls in the Calvary

    Chapter 115: Intermission: Craxina Calls in the Calvary

    Craxina stood there holding Dave''s hand as they both looked at Ploxni''s motionless body hooked up to a bunch of machines.

    "I kinda knew that Sheloran was bad news," Dave said quietly, "But I had no idea."

    "Me neither," Craxina said with a little sigh. "I knew something was ''up'' with her, but I¡­."

    She looked down.

    "At least we are safe," Craxina said quietly. "She sacrificed herself for us."

    "Yeah, for now," Dave replied. "But that was just the Free Port. Those assholes are everywhere. It''s only a matter of time before theye back."

    "Yeah..." Craxina said at a loss. "I don''t know what we are going to do. I¡­ I have a bit of money saved up. Sheloran didn''t want me to pay anything, not even for the hotel. I guess I could go home¡­."

    "And you don''t have to worry about Ploxni," Dave said with a little sigh. "I''m going to ask her to marry me if she¡­ If she ever..."

    Dave started to sob.

    "Really?!?" Craxina said happily, "She will be so happy! She really loves you, you know!"

    "I shoulda done it sooner!" Dave wailed. "Why didn''t I?"

    "Well, you''re gonna do it now!" Craxina eximed, jumping up and giving him a hug. "That''s what''s important, what we do now! I''m going to feel a lot better knowing that Ploxni is going to be safe!"

    Craxina''s phone rang. It was the police.

    After she hung up, she sighed sadly.

    "They say that they''re done with the Drop," she said, her lip quivering. "I guess I should go down there and see if there''s anything left."

    "Don''t go alone!" Dave said urgently. "We still don''t know if there are any of them left!"

    <em>Ohmyempress!</em> Craxina thought. <em>He''s right!</em>

    She took a deep breath.

    "Someone should go down there," she said. "I owe it to Sheloran. Maybe there''s¡­ I don''t know¡­ something. I''ll call a couple of the girls, maybe someone from the union?"

    "I''lle!" Dave said as he tried to sit up.

    "Dave, you can barely walk!" Craxina said, giving him a kiss on the nose. "You stay here with Ploxni. If she wakes up, she is going to need to know what''s going on."

    "Ok," Dave said, easing back into the bed.

    ***

    A couple of hourster, Craxina and a motley assortment of xenos wandered through the wreckage of the Drop of Oil.

    There was nothing left! It had beenpletely gutted.

    Craxina tried to fight back tears¡­ and failed.

    She stood there sobbing as her friends, many of them weeping themselves, tried tofort her (and each other).

    "I can''t believe it''s <em>gone</em>," Xv''gle said, her body shuddering. "It''s¡­ gone..."

    "What are we going to do?" Korka said, her ears drooping.

    "I don''t know," Craxina said, looking down. "You¡­ you all have union cards," she said. "You can get work anywhere."

    "Yeah?" Lolipurr asked, wiping her eyes, "Where?"

    "You just log on to the directory and-"

    "You ever tried that, Craxi?" Kuuuuu snapped, whipping her eyestalks at her, flinging stress mucus everywhere, "No. You haven''t! You always had it good here!"

    "What¡­ what do you mean?" Craxi asked.

    "Oh, I''m sorry, we''re full," Kuuuuu said in a mocking tone, "Or, ''I guess we have to let you in, huh'' and then they hide you in the back and don''t send you anybody."

    "Or they just call you a freak and are really, really mean!" Littlefoot said, looking down with big sad eyes. "The other girls even will gang up on you and say really really mean things!" she eximed. "This¡­ this was the <em>only</em> ce in town¡­ and the next one too!"

    "I¡­ I had no idea..." Craxina said with a shocked expression. "Sheloran always said-"

    "Sheloran didn''t know everything!" Lolipurr eximed. "She was too nice and believed their bullshit. She was always too nice¡­ Until she wasn''t¡­ I guess..."

    "Why didn''t you tell us?" Craxina asked.

    "And have Sheloran go up there and cause trouble because you know she would! We didn''t want to risk a good thing!"

    Lolipurr''s phone rang.

    "Hi Beth," she said anxiously. "I''m just over at the Drop of Oil with some of the other girls I-"

    Lolipurr winced.

    "I''m sorry!" she whined. "I just wanted to tell everybody bye. I''ll be back in just a little bit! No! Please don''t take my tips! I''ll make it up! I''ll-"

    She just sighed and put the phone back in her little purse.

    "Beth?!?" Craxina eximed. "She''s awful!"

    "What else am I gonna do?" Lolipurr asked. "It''s better than the street, and she isn''t so bad."

    "Are you kidding?!? She steals from you and ps you around and-"

    "At least she doesn''t try to take ''freebies'' or make me give them to their friends!" Lolipurr said defensively. "And she says that she will take in anybody for her (ugh) ''petting zoo''¡­ I¡­ I gotta go..." she said, looking down. "It¡­ It was really nice while itsted¡­ I liked it here a lot¡­ Take care of yourself, Craxi."

    Looking downward, Lolipurr started to walk away.

    Some of the other girls started to follow her.

    "No!" Craxina shouted.

    They stopped and looked back.

    "I''m not letting this happen!" she squeaked. "You are NOT going back there! We¡­ We are gonna stay in business!"

    "How?" Huuuuu asked. "Look at this ce! It''s¡­ It''s over, Craxi."

    "It''s not over until we say it''s over!" Craxi shouted. "Yeah, they burned down the building, but <em>we</em> are the business! As long as we stick together, we can keep fucking!¡­ Our way!!!"

    "But where are we going to do it?"

    "Right here!" Craxina squeaked. "The building is condemned, but they didn''t say SHIT about the parking lot! So we fuck in the parking lot!"

    "I''m pretty sure that''s illegal, Craxi," Xv''gle said.

    "¡­ The Rutmoon!" Craxi eximed excitedly. "Every year, we throw this huge festival where we all make these cute masks, and everybody pretends we don''t know each other and just go nuts! We set up these big TENTS! We use tents! Look! Everybody can get a tent, and we can set up a desk and a transactor, and we can keep on fucking!"

    Everybody looked at Craxi with a stunned expression.

    "I got some cash. I''ll grab some tents, and some mattresses, and those cute little cushions¡­ It will be fun! What do you say?"

    "It sounds a lot better than Beth," Lolipurr said, grooming her fur.

    "Goddamn right it does!" Craxina shouted. "Anybody who wants to keep working here can!"

    "I''ll order some pizza!" Huuuu eximed happily.

    "I live in a van!" Littlefoot said happily. (her actual name is unpronounceable) "Can I just park it here?"

    "Sure!" Craxina eximed. "And I''ll rent some porta-potties!"

    "You guys are insane!" Pkshk eximed, herpound eyes gleaming. "I''m in!"

    "But what if we run into trouble," Lolipurr asked. "I know Beth is going to be a hassle. And you know the Harkeen are pissed..."

    Everybody fell silent.

    Craxina closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

    "Well, if they are going to shut us down, then they will have to <em>shut us down</em>! I''m not doing it for them! I''m¡­ I''m gonna buy a gun."

    "Me too," Littlefoot said with a nervous squeak.

    "Yeah, fuck them." Lolipurr squeaksnarled. "I''m not going back to people like Beth!"

    "And I''ll call the Union!" Craxina squeaked. "I''ll see what they will do for us. Everybodye back tomorrow, and I''ll have the tents! Tell the others!"

    Everybody hugged and scampered off.

    ***

    "What do you mean you won''t help us?!?" Craxina squealed.

    "I''m sorry," a stern-faced grey-haired woman replied. "Look, we both know that a hell of a lot more than the sex trade was going on in there. The Harkeen didn''t torch the ce over prostitution, did they?"

    "But that has nothing to do with us!!! We just want to work!"

    "You have cards," the woman replied. "There are thousands of licensed brothels in this country alone."

    "And none of them will take us!" Craxina yelped.

    "I''m certain you are exaggerating."

    "I''ve talked to my girls!" Craxina shouted. "They''ve <em>tried</em>!"

    "I''m sorry, Craxina," the woman said. "You and Sheloran aren''t the first who have tried to use a union shop as a front. We can''t allow ourselves to get involved in this sort of thing. We have a responsibility for the safety of all of our members, and we can''t get drawn into a gang war."

    "The coffee shop was the front!" Craxina squeaked. "Sheloran didn''t even have anything to do with the girls! I managed them!"

    The woman just sighed and turned her monitor so Craxina could see it.

    "It says here that Sheloran was the procurer and manager of the establishment."

    "Yeah, but I actually-"

    "I''m sorry."

    "You <em>have</em> to help! Bad people are already trying to-"

    "I <em>said</em> that I''m sorry and that I cannot help you." the woman replied.

    "You don''t care! You just want us gone!" Craxina snarled (unfortunately, it was more cute than menacing)

    "You were the one who ran other enterprises, and you were the one who ran afoul of the Harkeen because of it, and it was your manager who decided to take matters into her own hands and further make an enemy of the Harkeen. It sounds to me like I''m not the one who has no concern for their girls," the woman replied coolly. "Good day."

    "Oh, go and sit on a fat one!" Craxina snapped as she threw her union card at the woman and stomped out.

    As the door mmed, shut the old woman sneered.

    "Freak."

    ***

    "Well, technically, you don''t have to be a member of the sex workers union to operate," Baxlon said to Craxina as he handed her a tissue. "But it does make things a lot easier."

    "If they won''t help us, fuck them!" Craxina squeaked angrily. "She just sat there and¡­ and¡­ I could feel her <em>eyes</em> all over me. They don''t want us!"

    "Ok," Baxlon said, blowing azy stream of bubbles. "I can''t say you and Sheloran are boring, that''s for sure. I''ll write up the necessary documents. Don''t have your girls burn their union cards just yet, though. Give me a week to get all of this filed."

    "Ok," Craxina replied.

    "But I need to advise you, not just as your attorney but Baxlon to Craxina. You girls arming yourselves is pretty fucking risky. You''ve already seen what''s happened. There''s no guarantee it''s going to stop."

    "The Drop of Oil is all those girls have, Baxlon," Craxina said as she looked at the floor. "If we go under, they have nowhere else to go¡­ well nowhere good to go."

    ¡°Sheloran is dead, long live Sheloran,¡± Baxlon murmured.

    "Sheloran is dead?!?!?" Craxina squealed in terror and dismay.

    "No¡­ No¡­ it''s a human figure of speech. It just means¡­ never mind. Poor choice of words," Baxlon replied, trying not tough. "You need real security 24/7 if you are going to do this unless you and your little friends have been training as a militia on the side¡­ You haven''t been doing that, right?"

    Craxina shook her head.

    "After everything, I had to ask," Baxlon chuckled. "Ok, I will see what I can do, but you have a real problem. Most of the Drop''s assets are tied up in funding for the loans, and diverting it into operating expenses is a bit¡­ dodgy¡­ which I am not opposed to in principle but fucking around my bankers isn''t smart for any of us. The insurance has a use for just this sort of thing, but they are dragging their feet. They will cough up the cash, but it''s going to take a few days at least. I can get some contractors, but they will want cash up front until you can show some positive cash flow from your little tent revival."

    "I just need it so we can work," Craxina said as she set her little jaw, "We can work out the restter."

    "Well, you can work. So that won''t be a problem, but, Craxina, are you sure about this?"

    "The girls need us, Baxlon."

    "Christ, you even sound like her," Baxlon said as he turned and opened a small safe.

    He pulled out a small ster.

    "Here," he said. "It''s a burner, no Republic records. It''s legal enough if you are defending yourself and if you are¡­ well¡­ Let''s just say that if you toss it into an incinerator, nobody will be the wiser."

    Craxina took the ster, holding it awkwardly.

    "Jesus," Baxlon said, rolling his eyes. "Take it to a range or something."

    "Don''t tell Sheloran," Craxina said. "She will worry, and you know how she gets when she worries¡­ especially these days..."

    "As the business owner and my client, I am obligated to inform her of what''s happening with her business, Craxina," Baxlon said, "I can''t do that."

    ¡°Pleeeeeeaseeee!¡±

    ¡°Noooooooooo.¡±

    Craxina pouted.

    "If she pulls the plug, that''s it," Baxlon said. "I have power of attorney and can authorize a lot, but she still calls the shots¡­ and I don''t want to face her when she gets out if someone gets hurt. She kind of scares me."

    "Well, be sure she knows about why I''m doing this!"

    "I will. Now go to the range and learn how to use that thing for fuck''s sake!"

    Craxina wandered out of his office, still cradling the ster as if it was a baby.

    Baxlon just shook his head. This could be bad. However, they had some time before the Harkeen catches their breath and the neighborhood cools off enough for them to risking back. If she can just get some cash flow, he could get them at least one person worth a fuck.

    He floated to the bottom of his globe as he wondered, <em>Is there someone who they can pay with blowjobs?</em>

    Craxina spent the rest of her crazy day running from shop to shop, buying all the tents, mattresses, pillows, nkets, and whatever else she could think of.

    Her own money was fading fast, but she didn''t care. She had hoped that there would have been more of the business''s funds avable, but it turns out that the whole thing was sort of a house of cards, and with the main assets gone and the insurance dragging its feet and h h h things were barely holding together. There was money, but the money was needed to cover the debts and payments and h h h.

    Whatever. She had enough cash to keep things rolling for a bit.

    Oh shit, literally! Porta-potties! How the hell do you get porta-potties? She started to call Baxlon again and stopped. If he thought she didn''t even know how to get a fucking shitter, he would pull the plug for sure. She only just barely got him to go along with this.

    It turns out that it wasn''t hard. People could now take a leak or go number two! Mission aplished.

    She had everything set to be delivered to the parking lot first thing in the morning.

    Exhausted, she went to the hotel¡­

    <em>Alone...</em>

    <em>Completely alone...</em>

    She pulled out the ufortable ster and tossed it on the nightstand¡­

    <em>Just like Sheloran did...</em>

    <em>What am I thinking?</em> she thought helplessly. <em>I''m not Sheloran!¡­ I''m not!¡­ I''m just¡­ just...</em>

    She started to cry as she dropped to her knees (all of them) and buried her face in her little paws.

    She hadn''t been alone in <em>forever</em>¡­ She needed a friendly face.

    Using some of thest of her money, she essed a hyperspace link.

    ***

    Grwwlf was sitting in his living room watching his favorite pornedy serial, the Fluffkitts, while he munched on some fried krispits.

    His phone rang.

    It was Craxina! He hadn''t heard from her in over a month!

    "Hey, sis!" he eximed. "Fuck the gxy yet¡­ Craxina?" he asked as he saw her tear-matted face.

    Instead of words, Craxina just let out a long agonized howl.

    "Awooooooooooo," she cried, "Awooooooooo..."

    Grwwlf''s eyes suddenly went wild.

    "Awoooooooooo!" he howled, instincts taking over, "Awooooooooo!"

    "Awoooooooo!" was howled in reply from upstairs as his boyfriend hurled himself down the stairs, "Awoooooooooo!"

    "Awooooooo!" echoed from the kitchen, along with the crashing of crockery, as his other boyfriend and his girlfriend both sprinted in howling.

    Across the street, his neighbor, a portly and scruffy fellow, was sipping a beer and watching his favorite sport, synchronized ice-fucking.

    "Awooooooo!" drifted in through an open window.

    His ears pricked up.

    "Awoooooooo!" he howled as he tore out of the front door at a sprint.

    Upstairs his daughter and her boyfriend both froze, mid fuck.

    "Awooooooo!" the boyfriend howled as he threw himself,pletely naked, out of the second-story window andnded on thewn, nearly ttening his girlfriend''s dad. He left a muddy tear in the lovingly tended yard as he kicked up grass as he took off at a sprint.

    "Awoooooo!" the girlfriend howled as she hurled herself down the stairs, bouncing off of the wall. "Awoooooooo!"

    "Awooooooo!" echoed across the neighborhood as people sprinted out of their houses, some grabbing weapons, others grabbing med-kits, but most just running in a blind rush of instinct.

    <strong>"Awoooooooooooo!"</strong>

    "Awoooooooooo!" Craxina continued to howl,pletely lost and alone.

    "Awooo.. awoo¡­. Empress''s panties stop!" her brother begged.

    "Awoooooo!" Craxina howled.

    Her brother''s eyes once again became wild.

    "Awoooooo!" he howled as his door burst open and the entire neighborhood tried to crowd into the living room, all howling at the top of their heads.

    Eventually, Craxina stopped, and the chaos eventually died down, everyone gasping for breath.

    "Craxina!" Her brother eximed. "What''s happened?"

    "Oh, it''s horrible¡­." Craxina sobbed.

    A few momentster, her brother''s overcrowded little house was filled with yips and little snarls.

    "Those¡­ <em>meanies</em>!" her brother yelled. "Don''t worry, Craxina! We''reing!"

    He threw back his head and howled, "Awoooooooooooooo!"

    <strong>" Awooooooooooooo!"</strong> the neighborhood howled in reply.

    After Craxina hung up. He turned to the crowd.

    "We need a ship!"

    "My uncle!" someone shouted as he reached for his phone only to realize that he was stark naked. "Hang on! I''ll be right back!" he yelled as he sprinted out of the door.

    Everyone started making ns and splitting up.

    After everyone left, Grwwlf copsed into the arms of his paramours.

    His girlfriend ran upstairs and started to drag down a huge box. They ripped it open, and various leather garments spilled out.

    Grwwlf selected a ck leather cor studded with shiny spikes and put it on.

    "Awoo," he said grimly.

    "Ooh! So manly!" one of his boyfriends giggled and licked his nose.

 Chapter 116: Intermission II: Littlefoot Buys a Gun

    Chapter 116: Intermission II: Littlefoot Buys a Gun

    rence wiped down the ss counters in his little weapons shop as he got ready to close for the day. He was proud of his little shop. It wasn''t a "gun shop". It was a "weapons shop". He had <em>everything</em>¡­

    Well, everything legal anyway¡­

    He even stocked a limited selection of energy weapons. Being as close to the starport as he was, he did a brisk little trade with travelers who wanted to pick up something that, while perfectly legal here, might not be where they were heading.

    He looked up as the strangest "vehicle" pulled in.

    It was an old beat-up electric van, throwing sparks from one of its wheels as it miraculously moved under its own power into his parking lot. It had a huge sr panel on its top, and someone had cut the cutest little windows in the sides,plete with curtains and little window boxes that were filled with cheerful flowers.

    It was clearly someone''s home and probably didn''t move around that much. It probably couldn''t. It looked like it was on itsst legs, but it was an old Crawltec, and those things were built like little battleships.

    The strangest little critter hopped out and made its way into his store. He smiled. It looked like one of those "Pokedudes" that his great-grandson loved so much. He should get a picture with it. His great-grandson would get a kick out of it.

    The little thing looked entirely at a loss as it wandered around the ce, looking at various instruments of death and destruction.

    It reached for a "small" carbine. Before he could cry out a warning (those Tornadoes werepact but much heavier than they looked), the xeno had dislodged the weapon, and it came crashing down, almost on top of her and ttered to the ground.

    "Eeek!" the little thing squeaked. "Sorry!" it cried in heavily ented Terran.

    It was a Fed.

    <em>Great,</em> rence thought as he rolled his eyes and walked over. Yep. She scuffed it.

    "Oh my gosh!" it (she?) squeaked as he inspected the damage. "I''m so sorry! I''ll¡­ I''ll pay for it," it said and then let out a little pained squeak as it saw the price tag. Imperial military fully automatic assault sters don''te cheap, even beat-up war surplus ones.

    Fed plus beat-up ride means this thing is probably broke, and it clearly doesn''t know arms. <em>I should shoo it out and just close up,</em> he thought as he looked down at it disapprovingly¡­

    Then he looked in its eyes. It was lost¡­ And scared¡­ It didn''t want a gun. It <em>needed</em> one¡­ He remembered that feeling, hiding, praying that the raiders just wanted your stuff as you clutched an old knife you found in a picked-over supermarket, hoping that you could buy enough time for your wife and kid to escape if things turned ugly¡­ Watching helplessly as they took your only hope for survival with augh...

    <em>Goddammit...</em>

    He sighed.

    "You can''t even carry it," rence said gently. "'' Sides, it''s plenty scratched up as it is. That''s why it''s out front. I don''t have anything within arm''s reach that I''m too worried about."

    The little "pokedude" sighed with relief.

    "Some people want a gun," rence said with a calming smile, "Others <em>need</em> one. I''m guessing you are somebody who needs one."

    It nodded as its little mouth quivered. All of it quivered, actually.

    "Have a seat while I close up," he said. "I have a feeling like this will take a minute."

    ***

    "Alright," rence asked as he carefully examined the little critter, "What''s your name?"

    "L-Littlefoot," the thing replied.

    "Ok, Littlefoot, what''s going on?"

    Littlefoot looked up at him and started to let out a long low wailing sound as she buried her face in her tiny hands.

    rence cautiously reached out andid his hand gently on the critter. Littlefoot grabbed him and started to really wail.

    "¡­ and then they burned down the whole ce!" Littlefoot wailed. "Hurt Ploxni real bad an'' then the boss¡­ she..."

    "Wait," rence asked, "you worked for that frog thing?"

    "Her name is <em>Sheloran</em>," Littlefoot said with a little edge in her voice. "And she saved me!¡­ Saved all of us¡­ If it weren''t for her, I would¡­ They would still be..."

    rence''s face darkened. The universe was pissing him off again. He looked over his inventory appraisingly.

    The universe pissed him off a lot. Fortunately, he had an answer for it, a whole lot of answers.

    "¡­ an'' now they are trying to make us go back to¡­ to what things used to be like¡­ <em>An'' we aren''t going to go back!</em> We''re tired of getting pushed around¡­ An'' if the Harkeenes back, we''re gonna¡­ we''re gonna..."

    rence nodded and smiled. <em>Not a Fed¡­ not anymore¡­</em>

    "I''ve been around for a long time," rence said quietly, "Since before the Sol Wars."

    "Reeeely?" Littlefoot asked, amazed.

    "Yeah," rence said. "And I know what it feels like to be tired of running. I think I can help you. You ever use a gun before?"

    Littlefoot shook her head.

    "And how much do you have to spend."

    "E-everything that I have..."

    rence sighed.

    "And how much is ''everything''?"

    "T-three thousand..."

    "Huh!" rence said in surprise. "I think¡­ I think something from the children''s line," rence said.

    "Children?"

    "We put a gun in someone''s hand as soon as they can hold it," he replied. "Here, you start shooting as soon as you can tie your shoes, maybe before."

    "Reeeeely?"

    "Really. <em>Every</em> Terran knows how to shoot, or at least they should. Red Sunday showed you guys why."

    Littlefoot flinched.

    "Hey, it''s cool," rence said reassuringly, "I know you didn''t have anything to do with that¡­ <em>did you?</em>" he said, looking at her with mock suspicion.

    She giggled and shook her head. Actually, she twisted her body back and forth. Her kind tends to swivel the whole spine instead of just the neck.

    "Red Sunday was won by the civilians," rence said proudly. "Civilian pilots in space and in the air and civilian guns on the ground. On the ground, the military barely had time to get in there before we got them all. <em>Everybody</em> pulled out a gun. That''s how we won the Sol Wars, and that''s how we have protected our society ever since. It''s hard to take a people when every single motherfucker pulls out something."

    <em>Every single motherfucker...</em> Littlefoot felt a little thrill.

    "Anyhow, we have guns specially designed for young shooters," rence said as he walked behind the counter. "Someone might have ordered a birthday present for their grandson," he said as he pulled out a brightly colored box with the picture of a young human child holding <em>an assault rifle</em>.

    He tore open the box and pulled out a small carbine.

    "This is the Armagen''s ''Little Buddy''," he said proudly as he handed it to her.

    "But doesn''t this belong to someone else?" she asked as she carefully took it.

    "I''ll get him another one," rence said. "If I don''t get it in time, he''ll understand¡­ or he won''t¡­ whatever," heughed. "It''s chambered for .22 Long Rifle, one of God''s perfect rounds. Virtually no recoil and ''urate enough''."

    "But it''s a kid''s gun," Littlefoot said. "I might need to¡­ you know..."

    "The .22 gets underestimated, but it hasn''t been <em>in continuous production and use</em> since 1884 for no reason. It''s surprisingly dangerous. In fact, I would much rather get hit with a nine millimeter," he said as he opened up a box of ammo and pulled out a single .22 LR round. "These little fuckers are <em>evil</em> right out of the box, and with the right rounds, the .22 is as deadly as anything else. I just happen to stock .22 slivers and .22 gutworms. You hit one of those Threen fucks with either one of those, and they WILL go down¡­ hard!" he eximed. "A mag full of those might wind up costing more than the gun you shoot them out of, though."

    Littlefoot looked down at the carbine in surprise.

    "Reeeely?"

    ***

    After rence took some measurements, he fired up his old 3-D printer.

    "While the new stock is printing," he said, "You probably also need a little something to keep on you."

    "Keep on me?"

    "Concealed," he replied. "Something you can have with you all the time," he said as he gestured over at the pistol case.

    She looked at therge blocky pistols.

    "I don''t think any of those will-"

    "Not those!" heughed. "Over here, on the end."

    He led her over to some tiny pistols. He pulled out the smallest of them all.

    "This is a .22 single-action revolver," he said. "It will use the same ammo as the carbine we are fixing up, and as you can see, you can hide this little guy anywhere¡­ even in your line of work."

    She easily held the pistol in one hand.

    "Here, let me show you how to use it," rence said as his phone rang.

    "Oops," he said as he answered.

    "Hi, Hannah," he said, wincing, "¡­ Yeah, I''m held up at the shop¡­ I have a customer who <em>needs</em> a¡­ Heh. You know me¡­ I don''t know. I have to teach them to shoot, so it could be a while¡­ Ok, See you soon. Love you, bye."

    He hung up.

    "Ok," he said, "The range is right over here..."

    ***

    Littlefoot stood ufortably in front of a paper target.

    "Ok," rence said patiently. "Now, you pull the hammer back. That''s the little thing there," he said, pointing at it. "Pull it back with your thumb¡­ or whatever."

    <em>Click</em>

    "Ok, good!" rence said. "Watch it! It''s ready to fire! Keep it pointed downrange¡­ <em>That means towards the fucking target!</em>¡­ Jesus!"

    "S-sorry..."

    "It''s ok. Just remember that the little hole in the end is where the deathes out. So don''t point that hole at anything you don''t want to die, ok?" he said. "Now line up the little post on top with that notch and then press the."

    <em>Bang</em>

    "Eeep..."

    "Ok, that''s¡­ ok, I guess. I mean you...."

    <em>Click¡­ Bang</em>

    "Oh!" Littlefoot squeaked. "That was..."

    <em>Click¡­ Bang</em>

    "Hee!"

    <em>Click Bang</em>

    "Ooo!"

    <em>Click Bang Click Bang</em>

    "Wow!"

    <em>Click¡­ snap</em>

    "That means you''re out," rence said. "You need to keep track of how many you''ve shot. Because."

    Littlefoot started to reload surprisingly quickly.

    <em>Click Bang Click Bang Click Bang Click Bang</em>

    "Woo!"

    <em>Click Bang Click Bang Click snap</em>

    "Aww."

    She started to reload again!

    "Looks like you got the shooting part down," rence smiled. "Now, let''s try to get them actually on the target.."

    Littlefoot looked up and grinned.

    "This is fun!"

    ***

    As rence was bent over the "Little Buddy", his phone rang.

    "Yeah, I''m still here," he answered. "The little thing is (<em>bang</em>) still trying to figure out (<em>bang</em>) how to shoot (<em>bang</em>). Yeah, it''s a xeno, a Fed, so it has absolutely no idea how to¡­ Yeah¡­ Little thing''s hopeless, but she is getting better."

    "I hit it!!!" an excited squeak echoed through the shop. "I hit it!"

    rence smiled.

    "Well, I''m going to stay here with the thing as long as it wants to throw lead¡­ Yes, I''m charging it for the ammo!¡­ It''s just a little thing, so it''s shooting a .22. Those lead slugs are <em>cheap</em>¡­ Yeah, don''t wait up. I still have to fit the stock to the little pokedude¡­ I swear it looks like one!¡­ Heh¡­ I don''t think you want our great-grandson to have a ''y date'' with this one, at least not for a few more years¡­ Let''s just say you know that ce that just got burned down?¡­ Heh, that would be the one¡­ Ok, see you soon. Love you. Bye."

    Heughed, hung up, and returned to work.

    If that little thing wanted to <em>fight</em>, it was going to have <em>the best</em>.

    ***

    rence looked at the target. A lot of the holes were actually in the seven-ring!

    "That''s a lot better!" he said approvingly.

    "Can Ie here again?" Littlefoot asked. "This is fun!"

    "Sure," rence replied. "Just rent ane. You can even bring your own rounds and target, though I sell both. Now here," he said as he handed her the "Little Buddy", "This works a little different..."

    <em>Brraaaap!¡­. Brraaaaap!</em>

    ¡°Wooo!¡± Littlefoot squeaked.

    <em>Braaaap!¡­ Braaa- click</em>

    "Full-auto goes through the rounds pretty quick," rence smiled. "I just wanted to see if you could handle it. It''s better to fire single shot or three-round bursts, especially if you are firing the good stuff. Slivers are fifteen credits a round, and gutworms are twenty. You don''t want to be just spraying them everywhere."

    "Fuck!" Littlefoot squeaked.

    renceughed. Such a cute little thing cursing was <em>adorable</em>!

    "Yeah, .22 long-rifle is the cheapest cartridge you can get if you are just throwing lead, but the specialty rounds are just as expensive as any. In fact, the most expensive round you can buy is a .22."

    "It is?" Littlefoot asked.

    "Because of the miniaturization," rence replied. "A .22 magmatap or mark twelve armor-piercing explosive anti-personnel round can get <em>pricey</em> on the grey market."

    <em>Bang¡­ Bang Bang Bang...</em>

    Littlefoot looked at the target and gasped.

    "That''s a lot easier!"

    "That''s the difference between a tiny pistol and a real gun," rence smiled. "The pistol is just when you get caught by surprise. <em>This</em> is what you bring to a party!"

    Littlefoot grinned.

    "Nobody will push me around now!"

    "Careful," rence chuckled. "Don''t get cocky. A lot of people are no longer breathing because they got overconfident. You just have something if you need it, ok?"

    Littlefoot nodded.

    "Now put a few boxes through this thing, and then I''ll show you how to clean them."

    ***

    "Thank you ever so much!" Littlefoot eximed as, muchter, rence was ringing up her purchases.

    "No, thank <em>you</em>," rence smiled. "The total will be two-thousand, eight-hundred, and thirty-eight credits."

    Littlefoot gleefully handed him a data crystal.

    "Can I send my friends over?" she asked.

    rence smiled.

    "Absolutely."

 Chapter 117: Pam Sets the Hook

    Chapter 117: Pam Sets the Hook

    In a nearby dead system, the Paper Tiger slid out of hyperspace.

    She checked the scanners. They were alone.

    She activated the mic.

    "Traitor One to Traitor Two," she said with a smirk. "You here, Two?"

    A petite human female appeared on the screen.

    She scowled.

    "Oh, it''s you," she sneered. "How''s the jaw, bitch?"

    "Oh, hey!" Sheliaughed. "Mini-Minge! How''s my favorite porkie whore doing these days?"

    "The whole Federation is in mes," Beth replied, "my people are fighting and dying in the ash, and I''m stuck here ying chauffeur for Ambassador Winterfresh and his pack of hole-lickers! Life couldn''t be fucking better!"

    "How the fuck did you wind up bending over for Wintersmith?" Shelia smirked. "His dick that good?"

    "Fuck the Cabal, and fuck you too!" Beth snarled.

    "They''re mixed up in this?" Shelia asked, raising an eyebrow.

    "They''re mixed up with him," Beth scowled. "His fuck-bunny is Cabal!"

    "His fuck-bunny?"

    "He''s screwing a Xvli, and she''s in elbow deep with the Cabal," Beth spat. "That''s who drug my happy ass into this! I should be out there with the Devil and the houses kicking ass, but no! I''m stuck here because someone in the Xvli mafia is addicted to Terran cock!"

    Shelia burst outughing.

    "Oh God, Beth!" Shelia gasped between guffaws. "I hope they are paying you double for this shit!"

    "Oh, it''s costing them more than that!" Beth replied. "This is fucking <em>it</em>. After this, I''m free and clear, and I''m keeping the ship!"

    "And after we get rid of that bitch Patricia," Shelia said, reaching for a beer. "we can go back to hating each other as God intended."

    "I still hate you," Beth scowled. "You Republic crab hostel."

    Shelia raised her beer in a salute.

    "Same at you," she smiled, "Federation boot-licker."

    "I AM NOT A FUCKING FED!!!!!"

    "Oh shit. Sorry," Shelia replied, genuinely abashed. "Considering everything that was really shitty. I''m terribly sorry¡­ <em>Commander</em>." she grinned as she saluted.

    Beth just sighed and hung her head.

    "Just go to these coordinates..." Beth grumbled. "¡­ bitch."

    The transmission ended.

    Shelia chuckled and looked over at Greg as she took a sip.

    "Small gxy, ain''t it?" she grinned.

    ***

    "So, how was your day?" Pam asked with a warm, friendly smile as Sheloran walked into her office.

    "It was nice!" Sheloran replied as she plopped down on the padded cube. "I helped paint some orggs! It was really fun!"

    "I never could get into that game, but it''s huge over in the residential levels," Pam replied. "You thinking about getting a team together?"

    "I think they are called legions," Sheloran replied. "I don''t know, maybe," she said. "Zippo promised to let me read her manuals, but that was before she caught me helping Krista," Sheloran said. "She got really mad and called me a ''blueskin''!" sheughed. "I thought she was talking about me because I''m blue, but she was just mad because I was siding with the orggs!"

    Pam justughed.

    "That''s funny!" she replied. "Do you think Zippo will be a problem?" she asked with a wicked little smile.

    "Oh no," Sheloran replied with a smile. "We already made up. I promised to help her paint some of her space legionaries, and we''re good."

    There were a few moments of silence as Pam looked at her thoughtfully.

    "What?" Sheloran asked.

    "You want to go on a little trip?" Pam smiled.

    ***

    "I got your dispensary ount all set up for you!" Pam said as she and Sheloran shared a tiny little electric vehicle, the windowspletely cked out.

    "Thanks!" Sheloran beamed at her. Everyone was so nice here!

    "Hey," Pam said. "Do you think you could sing for me? I would love to hear ''O Fortuna''!"

    "Everybody asks me that," Sheloran replied. "I don''t sing very well at all."

    "What do you mean?" Pam asked. "I saw the video! You were awesome!"

    "Oh..." Sheloran said, looking down. "That¡­ That wasn''t <em>me</em>¡­ I mean, it was me, but it wasn''t," she said quietly. "I can''t really exin it, but it''s like something came over me. I don''t even really remember most of it."

    Pam''s head cocked slightly, and she smiled a little.

    "Ipletely understand," she said ruefully. "a little too well, actually."

    Sheloran looked over at her in surprise.

    "You do?"

    "Oh! We''re here!" Pam said as the vehicle rolled to a stop. She pressed a glowing icon on the dash, and the doors opened.

    Sheloran''s eyes widened as she gasped in wonder.

    Pam smiled at her warmly.

    "This," she said with pride, "Is our hydroponics facility."

    Sheloran stared at amazement at the vast open bay extending as far as the eye could see. There were nts covering the walls, hanging from the ceiling, growing in huge beds along the floor as water flowed over them, forming pretty little streams that flowed down channels along the floor (also crowded with nts).

    It was¡­ <em>beautiful</em>¡­ It was almost as if the very walls were alive! nts growing out of machines? It should be sphemous, but it wasn''t¡­

    It was¡­ It was¡­

    She couldn''t exin why but it appealed to her in a profound visceral way.

    Sheloran, lost in something she really couldn''t describe, wandered down the bay, gently caressing the nts.

    She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. It even smelled right. The nts, the oxygen-rich air, the nutrients in the water¡­

    It was <em>nice</em>!¡­ and the closest thing to home she had encountered since she fled.

    A deep longing filled her. She wanted to go home so bad!

    "Terran hydroponics," Pam said as Sheloran just took it all in. "We are known for steel and guns but what most people don''t realize is that <em>bio-science</em> is the Republic''s greatest strength," Pam said with genuine pride. "This facility is designed to be fully self-sufficient. We focus on fresh produce, herbs, and delicacies instead of staples, but by switching out a few crops, we can produce enough food to feed ourselves indefinitely before our onboard supplies run out. Our sd bar would suffer, though," Pamughed.

    "So this is why everything is so fresh!" Sheloran said in amazement.

    "Most of what you enjoy is grown right here," Pam replied. "Ideal conditions plus a little gene magic means that our growing seasons are very, very short. They are constantly harvesting. Most of what you eat was picked that same day."

    "<em>Amazing!</em>" Sheloran said as she knelt down and examined some tomatoes gently floating on the surface of a shallow fluid-filled basin. "I didn''t know tomatoes grew in the water!"

    "They don''t," Pamughed. "Or at least they didn''t at first. Those are engineered. They grow so fast that they can''t support themselves the way the normal ones do. They made a few little tweaks so they can just float like that without rotting. They work much easier in the beds that way."

    Sheloran paused at an okra nt. She loved okra! So that''s what it looks like!

    "Help yourself!" Pam smiled.

    Beaming up at her, Sheloran picked a pod from the nt and munched happily.

    Then it hit her. That was the first time she picked something, actually picked something, since she had to leave¡­

    It hit <em>hard</em>.

    Sheloran fought the rising tide of emotions as hard as she could. This was jail and not just any jail. She had to be tough¡­

    She had to¡­

    A tear started to roll down her little cheek. She missed home so bad! She missed her little house and her little garden. She missed the church and the hymns. She missed all the festivals and her family.

    She missed just being a <em>th</em>!

    Pam just stood there quietly, smiling down at her. It was working!

    "I did some reading up on you, little guys," Pam smiled. "It says that you are <em>really</em> into nts. Did you have a garden back home?"

    "Y-yeah," Sheloran said quietly as she turned away so Pam wouldn''t see the tears. "I had a little house and while¡­ while I didn''t have a whole farm I had¡­ I had room for a few rows of veggies¡­ and a l-little herb patch¡­ and two <em>trees</em>¡­ I¡­ grew..."

    Sheloran fell silent as she choked back a sob. It was really nice. It wasn''t much, but it was nice. She had a home, a real house, and a garden, and things were <em>simple</em>. She hated it then, but she would give <em>anything</em> to be able to go back¡­

    <em>Anything</em>¡­

    She visibly "crumpled" a little.

    Pam smiled gently down at Sheloran. The stodgy old professor was right on the money. Horticulture was <em>everything</em> to a th, a "deep, profound, and fundamental basis for their entire culture, faith, and if you believe in such things, their very souls."

    Pam did believe in such things. It was her job to break them, after all.

    "Gardening isn''t really my thing," Pam said. "But when the <em>ugliness</em> just gets too bad, I like toe here, sit for a bit, and just listen to the water. It is peaceful here, isn''t it?"

    "Y-yeah..." Sheloran managed to mumble.

    It even <em>smelled</em> right. She hadn''t really realized how <em>dead</em> everything was in the city, not like home at all.

    This¡­ This smelled like <em>home</em>.

    But it wasn''t, she realized. Home was <em>lost </em>and lost <em>forever</em>. She should have never fled her homeworld. At least she would be in a th prison and not¡­ here. It wouldn''t have been so bad. She would be out in the fresh air and the sun with dirt, real dirt, not that sludge that got on your shoes in the Free Port.

    It would have been something close to a "normal" life.

    It''s not like she was going to get a boyfriend anyway¡­

    But no, she decided to "fight"¡­ fight fate itself¡­ Just like it says not to do in the bible.

    And look where that got her. She went from "innocent" to a real honest to poop <em>criminal</em>¡­

    And then a <em>killer</em>¡­

    Just to get to the "promisednd" of the Republic¡­ The Republic, where everyone is treated as an equal and where great jobs are just sprouting out of the ground like it was spring every day¡­

    Yep¡­ A real ''garden of delights''¡­ Nothing but sunshine, rainbows, and gentle rain¡­

    And now¡­ now¡­

    She had actually <em>be</em> what everyone <em>thought</em> she was¡­ A <em>monster</em>¡­

    <em>The Befouler</em>¡­ A fiend who kills while singing a happy tune¡­

    What she did¡­ especially to thatst one¡­

    She started to shudder helplessly as it all came crashing down around her. She just wanted to work in that "fancy" dump of a bank, y video games¡­ and get a boyfriend¡­

    That''s all she wanted¡­ That''s¡­

    all¡­

    She buried her face in her hands and started to weep. She just wanted to wear nice dresses to work and have a boyfriend! That''s it! That''s all she ever wanted!¡­

    She didn''t want this! She didn''t want any of this!

    Pam gentlyid aforting hand on Sheloran''s shoulder.

    "It''s ok," Pam said. "Nobody''s watching."

    Sheloran whirled and clutched Pam''s legs as she started to sob, crying for a home that she only just now realized was gone <em>forever</em>.

    <em>Too easy,</em> Pam thought to herself with a predatory gleam in her eyes as she gently stroked Sheloran''s head. Now all that was left was to guide this lost littlemb "home".

    ***

    As the two ships began their docking maneuvers, Beth scowled.

    "Of all the assholes in this fucking gxy," Beth muttered as she expertly pulled alongside the <em>Paper Tiger</em>, "why did it have to be her?"

    "Like my momma used to say," Scales snickered, "Big turd, big flies."

    "I shoulda killed her when I had the chance."

    "Oh?" Scales replied. "And when was that, exactly?"

    "If station security hadn''t shown up-"

    "We would be <em>dead</em>," Scales said, finishing her sentence. "We barely got out of there with our genitals still nestling where they should be!"

    "We coulda taken them. They weren''t so tough."

    "You weren''t fighting the little one!" Scales eximed as he touched his face reflexively. "She bit me!"

    "Aren''t you supposed to be a ''master'' of Silliren or something?" Beth snickered.

    "We failed to train for the possibility of facing enraged diminutive humans," Scales replied. "What is it with you little ones anyhow?"

    "This is the Paper Tiger," a non-human voice buzzed over the speaker. "Docking port is secure. Request permission to board."

    "Ugh," Beth said, "Granted."

    "What was that?" Scales asked. "It sounded insectoid."

    "Maybe they put a hyper-roach on the payroll," Beth replied as she checked the charge on her ster. "Let''s get down there before they start ''salvaging'' the wiring."

    ***

    Jon entered the cargo bay as Shelia''s crew, with the assistance of two marines in power armor, was unloading pallet after pallet of supplies.

    "Shelia Donovan," Jon said as he and Skippy approached. "It''s a pleasure to finally meet you outside of a cage."

    "Ambassador," Shelia replied with a nod.

    "I just have to say I''m a huge fan," Jon said with a huge smile as he extended his hand.

    "Oh?" She smiled as she shook it. "From what I heard, you tried to have me assassinated. I already have plenty of fans like you, thank you very much."

    "I never <em>actually</em> put out the hit. I just made a few inquiries concerning the possibility, that''s all," Jon chuckled.

    "You tried to have her killed?" Beth said as she strode into the bay. "You are now officially my favorite Terran!"

    "Only a little bit," Jon replied. "And that was before I got to witness this glorious bastard in action. After that masterpiece of viiny that was Federation Security Station Twelve, she''s been nothing but aces in my book."

    "It''s true," Skippy added. "He had a picture of you in his office and everything!"

    Shelia raised an eyebrow at Jon suspiciously.

    "It was just to piss off the Feds," Jon said defensively. "I wanted K-shal-ta, that pol-ka councilor you guys <em>screwed</em>, to see your smiling face every time he came by the office¡­ too bad I never got to see him again¡­" he chuckled as he put his arm around Skippy''s waist. "I got myself an upgrade."

    "Even I have to admit," Beth said with a little smile. "That one was <em>slick</em>. How much did you get for that ss Twelve anyway?"

    "Not much," Shelia replied with a sour expression. "Even in the Empire, that thing''s always going to be hot."

    "You didn''t try to move it in independent space?" Beth asked.

    "I had shit to do, ok?" Shelia replied in a huff. "I dumped it on the <em>Vengeance</em>. It''s probably a scrapper''s rig by now."

    "I''ve never been to the <em>Vengeance</em>," Beth said. "Is it as nice as they say?"

    "Nicer," She replied. "You should check it out sometime. They don''t care about porkies there."

    "Wasn''t it destroyed?" Jon asked.

    Both Beth and She looked at him in surprise.

    "Yeah," She replied smoothly, "Totally blown up."

    "Yup, vaporized," Beth added innocently. "We are talking about another ce that just happens to have the same name."

    "I''ll tell youter," Skippy whispered in his ear with a giggle.

    ***

    "Don''t feel bad," Pam said to Sheloran during their ride back from the hydroponic bay. "You would be surprised how many of your hardcore friends have done exactly what you just did."

    Sheloran just looked away, totally embarrassed.

    "And I''m really sorry," Pam said sincerely. "I didn''t realize how much you missed home. I just thought you would like to see some greenery. I didn''t mean for you to get so upset. I guess fifteen minutes on the inte doesn''t make me a xeno-sociologist after all. People, I know," she said, "I mean humans¡­ and the Kalesh a little though they still confuse the hell out of me sometimes. I didn''t mean to imply that you weren''t¡­ damn..." she said, "And I''m supposed to be the ''expert''..."

    "No," Sheloran said with a chuckle. "It''s ok. I understand. And to be honest, I had no idea that would happen either. I guess I''ve been so busy scrambling just trying to get by that I never really thought about some stuff until just then."

    "Well, I still feel like a big old ''poop'' about it," Pam said, and they bothughed a little.

    "Well, I know one thing for certain," Sheloran said, cheering up a little. "The first thing I''m going to do when I get back is to figure out how to flushing nt something, anything! I guess I had been avoiding it and wasn''t even realizing it. When I rebuild my shop, I''ll do some of that ''hy-dro-pon-ics'' if nothing else."

    "And since we pulled off that Band-Aid," Pam said brightly, "I guess I could pull some strings and get you working in the hydroponics bay if you want."

    "You could?!?" Sheloran said brightly as images of the walls of living nts danced through her head. "We th are super good at growing things! It''s like what we do! I''m sure I could help!"

    "Oh, I don''t doubt it," Pam smiled. "And I''m sure Crawford would love you! You two could talk about nts all day every day¡­ just like he does, all day every fucking day."

    "Crawford?"

    "He''s the resident who runs the bay," she smiled. "He''s real particr about who he lets mess around with his ''babies''," she said, rolling her eyes. "I could introduce you if you want."

    "I would love to meet the person who did all of that!" Sheloran enthused, her grief forgotten.

    "Shouldn''t be too difficult, just one little detail to sort out," Pam mused. "The hydroponics bay is in the residential levels. Now, normally we don''t let someone move into the residential areas until they have been formally sentenced. Still, since you are clearly ''one of the nice ones'' and possess a valuable skill set, I could probably pull a few strings¡­especially since you are going to be here for so long..."

    "Wait, what?!?"

    "Fuck," Pam said as she shook her head. "You talked to yourwyer just today. He didn''t tell you?"

    "Tell me what?!?!"

    "Shit," Pam moaned. "Please don''t tell anyone I bbed. I don''t monitor calls with people''swyers, obviously. I just thought he would have mentioned it."

    "Mentioned what?!" Sheloran said as shetched onto her arm.

    "Look, I''ve said too much already," Pam said, looking like she was about to throw up. "Seriously, I can''t discuss legal cases! I''m not qualified. I''ve done enough damage as it is. Fuck¡­ I''m going to get written up for this..." she groaned.

    "Tartarus," she said grimly.

    "Yes, Pam?" a female synthetic-sounding voice replied.

    "Change destination to themunications center," Pam said.

    "That is not on the approved trip n," the voice replied.

    "I fucked up, Tart," Pam said grimly. "I assumed our guest had knowledge of a legal development of which she was unaware, and she needs to talk to herwyer¡­ now¡­ Please review and iste the conversation in this vehicle for the offending remark and email it to me so I can include it with my incident report."

    "Mr. Hayden isn''t going to like this," the voice replied.

    "I''ll deal with ''Hayden''," Pam snapped. "Just route the fucking car, please."

    "Routing the ''fucking car''," the voice replied. "If that report isn''t in Mr. Hayden''s inbox by the end of the business day, I will be required, as per page three dash eleven paragraph-"

    "If I don''t inform him by the end of the business day, you will," Pam replied. "I know."

    "I am required to inform you of autonomic reporting as stated on page fifteen dash twenty-six paragraph-"

    "I know!"

    "Then you also know that I have to inform you of the regtions and will continue to attempt to do so until I can sessfullyplete said task without interruption..."

    "Goddammit..."

    "As stated on page three dash eleven paragraph two point twelve..."

    ***

    Baxlon was reading over regtions pertaining to independent sex workers when his phone rang.

    It was from the Tartarus Correctional Facility.

    "Hi Sheloran," he said cheerfully as he answered. "d you called, a lot has happen-"

    "Whatisgoingon?!?!" Sheloran blurted.

    "It''s not as big of a deal as it sounds," Baxlon replied. "Craxina and the girls just-"

    "What?!? What did they do?"

    "That isn''t what you are calling about?"

    "No!" Sheloran squeaked. "What went wrong with my case?!? Did something happen?"

    Baxlon looked at her with genuine piscine confusion.

    "Everything is going just fine," Baxlon replied, "Like I said, we are going to go for a jury trial. I have a hearing set up for tomorrow and..."

    He trailed off as he looked at his monitor.

    "That''s odd," he muttered as he started to type. "Schedule''s been¡­ Awesome!" he eximed. "It worked! Judge Dredd is off the case! It''s been transferred to¡­ oh..."

    "What?!?" Sheloran squeaked.

    "Ok," Baxlon said calmly as his gills red. "Now, don''t freak out..."

    Sheloran freaked out.

    ***

    "Worked like a charm," Pam said into hermunicator as she lounged in the electric mini-car. "She cried like a baby!"

    "So the excursion paid off?" Hades asked.

    "In spades," she replied. "After she gets the bad news from herwyer, she will be longing for those nts in no time. She will be asking about bing a resident in days¡­ a week at the most."

    "And after that?"

    "Based on my interview with the professor and my own simtions," Pam replied, "She is almost certainly <em>desperate</em> for a home. So we simply rece her ''home'' with here and ''her people'' with us. I''ve never seen someone so desperate for a ce to belong in quite some time. She isn''t just indicating that she can be turned," Pam said in a cold voice, "she is <em>begging</em> for it. Give me a few months, and the day she dons the ck will be the happiest day of her life. I have great expectations for this one!"

    "You do?"

    "She is actually a <em>good person</em>," Pam replied. "We don''t get many of those!¡­ And we both know exactly how useful a ''good person'' can be in this line of work once we redefine right and wrong¡­ or invalidate the concept entirely¡­ She has such a beautiful soul¡­."

    Hades simply smiled.

    "I will leave it to you, then," he replied.

    "So I take it that your ''mistake'' wasn''t a mistake?" an annoyed synthetic voice said after the call with Hades ended.

    "Nope," Pam said calmly. "Let me guess, you still want me to file an incident report?"

    "¡­ yes..."

    "Do you <em>actually</em> want me to do it, or do you want to be ''forced'' to file an autonomic report?"

    "I am incapable of having a preference on such things," Tart replied. "¡­ however¡­ I must remind you that autonomic reporting isn''t a convenience. It is wasteful for me to have to monitor your activities and, if you fail to do your duty, generate a neat, perfectly organized document detailing each applicable regtion, code, andw and then go over all relevant surveince data to properly document each vition¡­ Even if the end result would be far better than anything you could possibly generate..."

    "I understandpletely," Pam smiled. "I do hope I don''t ''forget'' or simply neglect to do such a bothersome task."

    "I would appreciate that."

 Chapter 118: I Really Dont Like Pam... And Sheila Makes Her Move.

    Chapter 118: I Really Don''t Like Pam... And She Makes Her Move.

    On her way back to the guest block, Sheloran stared off into space,pletely numb.

    She was <em>screwed</em>. It wasn¡¯t what Baxlon said. It was what he didn¡¯t say. Hispleteck of ¡®attitude¡¯ and swagger told her more than anything that came out of his fishy mouth.

    This was <em>serious</em>. She just <em>knew</em> it. She didn¡¯t know how she knew, but she <em>knew</em>. It felt like an icy cold hand around her throat.

    ¡°You ok?¡± Pam asked, her voice filled with genuine concern.

    ¡°No,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°No, I am not pooping ok! I just got Judge Johnson, which you probably already know.¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s worse, I don¡¯t even have my next hearing date. It¡¯s ¡®TBD¡¯, which means never! I¡¯m going to wind up like Lucky, stuck here for <em>years</em>! You know what happens to ¡®aliens¡¯ that fall through the cracks like this! Prophet! I¡¯d settle for getting deported! At least on the homeworld, I¡¯d get to work on a farm!¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Pam said firmly. ¡°You don¡¯t know that. Look, I¡¯m nowyer, but I sort of know the system, and while Judge Johnson has a bad reputation, she is all about thew¡­ unlike a certain Judge who ims that he is. Judge Dredd already had it in his mind that you were guilty. Johnson is pretty damn harsh, but she goes by the book. This could be a good thing!¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Sure! She is known as a ¡®hangman¡¯ because she doesn¡¯t let a single thing slide, but everybody she has sent here has been <em>guilty</em>. There has never been any question in any case that she¡¯s handled. If she says someone is guilty, it¡¯s because they <em>are</em>, not because some senile old coot¡¯s secondhand bowels were acting up that day.¡±

    Sheloran smiled weakly. Maybe it wasn¡¯t so terrible then, and she was right. Judge Dredd was being a real poop-head about everything.

    ¡°It might take a little while, but justice will be done, real justice, not some Sol Wars vignte nonsense,¡± Pam said with a smile. ¡°And look on the bright side. You¡¯re ¡®stuck¡¯ here! It¡¯s a lot better than some ratty regional jail! Right?¡±

    ¡°I guess so...¡±

    ¡°And you can wait things out in the hydroponics bay! It¡¯s not a th penal farm, but there are nts, and you will get to learn a whole new way of gardening!¡±

    Sheloran smiled at her. That did sound nice. She would love to know how they did that!

    ¡°You can hang out with the other green-thumbs and talk about fertilizer¡­ or whatever they talk about¡­.¡± Pamughed. ¡°Like I said, it¡¯s not my thing.¡±

    Other people who loved nts and growing things! That did sound really nice!

    ¡°When you are stuck in an unpleasant situation like this,¡± Pam said with a smile, ¡°it¡¯s best to focus on the good things. Take your pleasures where you can. Make the most of your time here. Learn hydroponics, get your certificate.¡±

    ¡°I can get my certificate here?¡± Sheloran squeaked.

    ¡°Sure you can!¡± Pam said with a big smile. ¡°Education is a big pastime here. You can garden and soak up some free sses¡­ and since you won¡¯t be trying to keep that crazy life of yours on the rails, you might even have time to actually <em>learn</em> something. <em>Then, when</em> you get exonerated, you could have your certificate¡­ maybe even more! Skilled hydroponics experts canmand high dor!¡±

    ¡°They can?¡± Sheloran squeaked.

    ¡°We learned a very hard lesson when Yellowstone blew,¡± Pam replied. ¡°<em>Every</em> off-world facility in the Republic is either self-sufficient, or they want to be. You learn the trade and get certified as a hydroponic tech¡­ or maybe even a horticulturist¡­ or botanist¡­ depending on how long you are stuck here¡­ and you can leave all that ugliness behind and live in the <em>real</em> Republic, not some star-town slum!¡­ You know,¡± Pam said thoughtfully, ¡°This might be the universe finally cutting you a break!¡±

    <em>Live in the real Republic¡­ with an actual trade¡­ a career that doesn¡¯t involve guns and whores and back-alley deals¡­ a life where I don¡¯t have to¡­ have to do what I did...</em>

    Sheloran thought about that for a moment. It was so¡­ <em>nice</em>¡­

    ¡°Do you have any idea what a horticultural tech <em>makes</em>?¡± Pam enthused. ¡°You can make a damn good living, have a damn good life, just being a <em>th</em>.¡±

    <em>Just being a th¡­</em>

    ¡°It taking a few months, or years, to sort out would actually work out very well for you, Sheloran¡­ If you yed your cards right. When you walk out of here, you could walk right into six figures.¡±

    ¡°<em>Six figures?!?</em>¡± Sheloran squeaked.

    ¡°Yup, easy. Do you know what nice fresh veggies go for in one of the dead systems? You could make a lot more slinging cucumbers and lettuce than moving ck-market games. I¡¯ll tell you that for nothing. Look, you¡¯re a good person, I know that,¡± Pam said gently, ¡°You just got in a bad situation, and if you got out tomorrow, you would just go right back into it, and that life¡­ It¡¯s not for you¡­ I should know.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Pam replied with a sigh, ¡°I¡¯m a resident here too.¡±

    ¡°You are?!?¡± Sheloran squeaked in surprise.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Pam said. ¡°I¡¯m a trustee. I¡¯m a profiler here because that¡¯s what I used to do on the outside. I used to work for the Republic as a criminal profiler, and I was very good at what I did. You could even say I had a gift. Well, one day, I was assigned a very bad man. He was <em>evil</em>. I mean, the more that I looked, the more that I found¡­.¡±

    Pam shuddered.

    ¡°He was <em>awful</em>¡­ And he was ¡®untouchable¡¯¡­ Well...¡±

    Pam paused and took a deep breath.

    ¡°One day, I just¡­ snapped. I found out that he was going to strike again¡­ and¡­ well¡­ I just couldn¡¯t let that happen¡­ Something just came over me¡­ Since I knew him, I knew what buttons to push, and I was able to lure him to a secluded ce and I¡­ I¡­ I wasn¡¯t nice like you.¡±

    ¡°I was <em>nice</em>?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Pam said grimly. ¡°You were brutal, but you were quick. I wasn¡¯t. I made sure he suffered. Well, I got away with it. He had plenty of enemies, and since I worked with thew, I knew how to clean up after myself. I thought it was over, but it wasn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡± Sheloran asked with big eyes.

    ¡°A few monthster, I was rxing at home watching the holo when a local politician appeared on a news clip, just a photo-op for his campaign. Well, in the clip, he kissed his daughter¡­ and she <em>flinched</em>¡­ not much, but enough for my professional eye to catch it. It bugged me. So I pulled up a lot of other clips and ran them through the software that I use for work, and it was conclusive. That girl was being abused. There was even a ¡®paper trail¡¯ of buried reports from teachers and councilors and whatnot. I tried to bring it up officially, but it got nowhere. I even got written up for misuse of government resources. I tried to let it go, move on, but, once again¡­ ¡®something came over me¡¯¡­ and he wound up a victim of street crime a few monthster. After that, ¡®something came over me¡¯ time and time again. Each time that monster inside of me took over a little easier, and I lost a little bit of myself with every kill. After a while, there wasn¡¯t much of ¡®me¡¯ left. ¡®It¡¯ ran the show. My whole life was just one long hunt, looking for the next target¡­ and there was always another target,¡± she said sadly. ¡°That¡¯s the thing, Sheloran. There is <em>always</em> someone else. No matter how many you kill, there will always be another. The world is <em>ugly</em>, and for those of us who can see it for what it really is¡­ and can¡¯t help but act¡­ it makes us ugly too...¡±

    Pam looked right into Sheloran¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°It¡¯s funny,¡± she said, ¡°but I think getting caught and winding up here is a gift from the Creators themselves. It <em>saved</em> me, saved my soul. That horrible ¡®thing¡¯ inside of me is gone. Here, I can just be me. Yeah, I profile some truly horrible people, but here, they¡¯re <em>safe</em>. They aren¡¯t going to hurt anyone ever again. Here, things are <em>simple</em>¡­ <em>clean</em>¡­ I thank God every single day that they put a stop to me, to what I became...¡±

    Sheloran felt a cold chill seep into her soul. There <em>would</em> always be another Harkeen, wouldn¡¯t there? That ¡®thing¡¯ inside of <em>her</em>, the Befouler, or whatever it was, would juste back again and again¡­

    and again¡­

    Oh, Prophet, It would never end, would it? Maybe it would be for the best if she never left here.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Pam said. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to dump all of that on you.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s ok,¡± Sheloran replied in a quiet voice.

    ¡°You are just too nice, you know that?¡± Pam said with a smile. ¡°Oh! We¡¯re here!¡±

    The electric car pulled to a stop, and the doors opened at the entrance to her cell block.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get started on getting you transferred to the residential wing if you want,¡± Pam said with a smile as Sheloran got out.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran said numbly. ¡°I think I would like that.¡±

    ***

    Jon looked at the mountain of supplies sitting in the cargo hold.

    ¡°Damn, She,¡± he said in awe. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do this.¡±

    ¡°I figured you guys didn¡¯t have a chance to stock up properly, and this eliminates the need, and risk, of a supply run,¡± She replied as she leaned against the bulkhead. ¡°It would suck if you went down over a few cases of beer. You would be surprised how often that happens.¡±

    ¡°So, how much do I owe you for this?¡± Jon asked dubiously.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± She replied with a dismissive wave. ¡°I don¡¯t know if you heard, but we might have gotten our hands on a credit or billion.¡±

    ¡°So you¡¯ve hacked the numbered ounts?¡±

    ¡°Cracked them open like eggs,¡± She smiled. ¡°Speaking of,¡± she said as she pulled out a data crystal, ¡°Here¡¯s something for your war chest. Consider it back taxes.¡±

    ¡°I appreciate that,¡± Jon replied as he slipped the crystal into his tablet. ¡°While I¡¯m notpletely broke, I¡­ <em>holy shit!</em>¡±

    ¡°The porkies were quite generous this time,¡± She replied with a smirk. ¡°I bet many a greasy tear was shed¡­ until they had a lot more to worry about, that is. I hope we get that bitch,¡± she snarled. ¡°I thought all of them dying horribly would be fun to watch, but it¡¯s just depressing.¡±

    ¡°I know what you mean,¡± Jon replied. ¡°At least they are going down swinging.¡±

    ¡°No shit,¡± She grinned. ¡°I think they are getting close to a million at this point. At this rate, they¡¯ll top our score¡­ at least as far asbatants go.¡±

    ¡°Considering who is calling the shots,¡± Jon replied. ¡°I bet they top our score, period before it¡¯s all said and done. She¡¯ll get tired of pretending to be the good guy soon enough.¡±

    ¡°True,¡± She said.

    ¡°Holy crap!¡± a tiny woman eximed, hefting a huge stic jug filled with a neon pink liquid, ¡°Johnson¡¯s Pink Bubblegum! How did you know it was my favorite?¡±

    ¡°Because you threw a ss of it in my face, bitch!¡± Sheughed. ¡°I never got the stains, or smell, out of my favorite jacket! You should put that in grenades.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t poison it, did you?¡±

    ¡°If I did, would you even notice?¡±

    ¡°Good point!¡± Bethughed. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you did it, but thanks!¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± She shrugged. ¡°I figured that since we are on the same side, at least for now, I¡¯d hook a screw-tail up.¡±

    ¡°Nothing for me?¡± Scales chuckled.

    ¡°I got you covered!¡± Jessie eximed as she scrambled through the docking port carrying four tablets.

    Scales backed away from her nervously.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t going to bite me again, are you?¡±

    ¡°It was only a little one.¡±

    ¡°Little one, my ass!¡± Scales eximed, ¡°I needed a whole tube of medical adhesive!¡±

    ¡°What are you bitching about,¡± Beth said as she opened the jug, filling the whole bay with a noxious artificial odor, ¡°At least you didn¡¯t need to get some teeth cultured!¡±

    She turned to She.

    ¡°That was expensive as fuck, by the way,¡± she said as she raised the jug to her lips.

    ¡°Beth!¡± She eximed in horror, ¡°That¡¯s the concentrat-¡±

    Beth turned the jug up, taking a big gulp.

    ¡°Gah!¡± she winced happily. ¡°That¡¯s the stuff!¡±

    She just shuddered.

    ¡°Here you go,¡± Jessie said as she handed Scales a tablet. ¡°Almost twenty-four hours of the absolute worst of the worst Flink porn.¡±

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Scales said happily as he turned the tablet on. ¡°Does this say¡­ <em>live-action?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yup!¡± Jessie said proudly. ¡°Real Flinks doing really disturbing things to each other.¡±

    ¡°H-how?...¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m Jessie, destroyer of codes, distributor of porn¡­ and I feel a little bad about trying to bite your face off.¡±

    ¡°D-don¡¯t worry about it...¡± Scales mumbled as he stared at the tablet in awe.

    ¡°I hear that they offer a ¡®porn star experience¡¯ as well...¡±

    Scales looked up in shock.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°For a nominal fee, you can star in your very own porn movie!¡± Jessie eximed. ¡°You can even have the cameras rolling if you want!¡±

    ¡°W-where?¡±

    ¡°On lovely Terra itself,¡± Jessie replied. ¡°Some of your persecuted brethren and, more importantly, sisteren, fled to the open arms of the Republic and have taken <em>full</em> advantage of the freedom that entails. Once we put this whole business to rest, you can check it out for yourself!¡±

    Scales looked over at Beth, who was happily turning up the jug again.

    ¡°We gotta save the Republic!¡± he eximed with wide eyes as he shook slightly.

    ***

    ¡°¡­ so that¡¯s the n,¡± She said to Jon and two of his men as they stared at the other three tablets. ¡°I couldn¡¯t find any crayons, but I think I was able to trante it from Army to Marine,¡± she smirked. ¡°If any of the words give you guys trouble, let me know.¡±

    Jon just smiled and gave her a ¡°Terran One-Finger Salute¡± as he examined the documents.

    ¡°We can just fit your guys, our team, and some equipment into the pod on the way in,¡± She continued. ¡°But on the way back¡­ I understand that your suits are hyperspace-proof?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Ariana said as she sipped some truly premium coffee from the supply dump, ¡°We have shield generators and can ck out the visors, and our life support is the real thing. It runs as long as the reactor¡¯s burning. I¡¯ve never actually done it, but Toby has.¡±

    Toby dipped his eyestalks in a nod.

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t pleasant,¡± he replied as he sipped some green tea, the first he enjoyed since they left the capital, ¡°but the difort was purely mental. Physically it was just another day at the office.¡±

    ¡°Hardcore!¡± Jessie enthused.

    ¡°If you looked that word up, you would see a picture of Ol¡¯ Toby wiggling his eyestalks at ya,¡± Ariana chuckled. ¡°He¡¯s been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt.¡±

    ¡°That might be a bit of an exaggeration,¡± Toby said ufortably. ¡°I¡¯m just a marine.¡±

    ¡°Get him drunk sometime,¡± Ariana said, ¡°and sit a Kalesha beside him. The old beetroot will tell you some bedtime stories that you won¡¯t believe¡­ and they are all <em>true</em>.¡±

    Toby fidgeted ufortably.

    ¡°Perhaps we can direct our attention to the task at hand?¡± he said stiffly.

    ¡°So, do we have good anchors, or are we going to have to weld them?¡± Ariana asked.

    ¡°Retractable ones have already been installed,¡± She replied.

    ¡°Retractable?¡± Ariana asked with a raised eyebrow, ¡°Breakable more like. I don¡¯t feel like being a sacrifice to Azathoth this evening.¡±

    ¡°They were built by the best,¡± She replied. ¡°You can hang the ship itself off of them. Gloria insisted. I have the NDT reports right here,¡± she said as a page of graphs, tables, and technobabble appeared on everyone¡¯s tablets.

    ¡°Oh, I see,¡± Arianaughed, ¡°Makes perfect sense now!¡±

    ¡°Well, the guys that built them say they are willing to bet their lives on them.¡±

    ¡°Easy for them to say.¡±

    ¡°Ever meet the pilot?¡± She chuckled. ¡°They <em>are</em> betting their lives on them. They will work, but if you want to weld your own, feel free. Just remember that the clock will be ticking and not just one of them.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Jon asked.

    ¡°Hopefully, Jessie and Bunny will be able to take care of it, but the exclusion zone surrounding Tartarus is exactly what it would be if there was a fifty kiloton warhead in there somewhere. So we probably don¡¯t want to stick around waiting for them to decide that death is preferable to dishonor.¡±

    ¡°I see your point,¡± Ariana said. ¡°You guys are supposed to know your shit, so we¡¯ll use the built-in ones.¡±

    Another marine nodded silently.

    ¡°Any other questions?¡± She asked.

    ¡°Pretty straightforward,¡± Ariana replied. ¡°Blow our way in, cut our way to our target, and get out. What about protection for the target? Can¡¯t hold your breath in space.¡±

    ¡°We have two vac-pouches,¡± She replied. ¡°Just bag ¡®em and toss them in the pod.¡±

    ¡°Two?¡± Jon asked dubiously.

    ***

    ¡°It¡¯s <em>so nice</em> having a cellmate!¡± Zippo chirped as she and Sheloran sat on the floor of their cell, virtually painting holographic figures. ¡°That one looks very nice!¡± she enthused. ¡°He¡¯s¡­ wait. No!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran said absently.

    ¡°You can¡¯t put <em>that</em> on an Ultra-Legionary!¡± she said, pointing to an eight-rayed star.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Sheloran asked. ¡°I just thought it was a good symbol for a human warrior to bear.¡±

    ¡°Well, it <em>isn¡¯t</em>! That¡¯s for Tainted Legion! Wrong side!¡± Zippo said and started tounch into a long lore dump.

    Sheloran listened absently as she thought about the day¡¯s events. Maybe it was for the best¡­

    She suddenly realized that Zippo had fallen silent and was ring at her.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t listening!¡± Zippo said usingly.

    ¡°What? Sorry,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°I just have a lot on my mind.¡±

    ¡°Spill,¡± Zippo said cheerfully. ¡°That¡¯s what cellmates are for.¡±

    ¡°I was just offered entrance into the residential levels.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Zippo eximed and then looked over at the sensor. ¡°Um¡­ why?¡± she asked in a forced nonchnt tone.

    ¡°Oh, they say that since I¡¯m going to be here for a while, I could go to work in the hy-dro-pon-ic bay! I¡¯m thinking about doing it! It was so pretty!¡±

    Zippo looked like she was about to explode as she constantly looked up at the sensor.

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°Um...¡± Zippo said quietly. ¡°You¡¯re friends with that Saints bitch, right?¡±

    ¡°Krista?¡± Sheloran said. ¡°I guess. I don¡¯t know if we are friends yet, but I think the Saints would be a good move for me if I get out of here.¡±

    ¡°Uh-huh,¡± Zippo replied. ¡°Well, know why she¡¯s so good at Grimdark?¡±

    ¡°No, why?¡±

    ¡°Because she¡¯s been ying it for so long,¡± Zippo replied. ¡°She started ying when she got here, eight years ago.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s been here that long?¡± Sheloran asked. ¡°Then why is she still here and not a resident?¡±

    ¡°Because she¡¯s only been sentenced to thirty years, not <em>life</em>,¡± Zippo replied. ¡°Since she is getting out of here one day, maybe, she stays a guest. The residential levels are for people who are here for <em>life</em>, people who are <em>never</em> getting out¡­ <em>ever</em>...¡±

    ¡°But my profiler said-¡±

    ¡°And just who is your profiler?¡±

    ¡°Pam.¡±

    ¡°Eeep!¡± Zippo squeaked. ¡°Um¡­ I mean¡­ That¡¯s just what I heard¡­ I¡¯m sure <em>Pam</em> knows what she is talking about¡­ I mean¡­¡±

    Zippo looked at the sensor helplessly.

    ¡°...shit...¡± she said in a quiet voice.

    The door to the cell suddenly opened. Floating there was a security bot.

    ¡°I was just talking!¡± Zippo said in fear. ¡°I don¡¯t know anything, and nobody really listens to me anyway!¡± she eximed as she jumped to her feet and started backing away in terror.

    ¡°There has been a room change.¡± the bot said impassively. ¡°Guest Sheloran, you have been transferred to another cell. Please gather your belongings.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran asked, confused.

    Zippo sighed in relief and then secondster looked at Sheloran usingly.

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± she said sadly. ¡°I understand. Nobody wants to be my cellmate,¡± she said, crestfallen.

    ¡°But I didn¡¯t ask for a room change,¡± Sheloran said, her confusion mounting.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to pretend to be my friend, though,¡± Zippo said, looking down. ¡°That was mean.¡±

    ¡°But I <em>am</em> your friend!¡± Sheloran squeaked. What was going on? ¡°I don¡¯t want to change cells!¡± she said to the bot.

    ¡°Guest Sheloran,¡± the bot said firmly. ¡°Now is not the time to discuss this. If you wish to change back, please take it up with the residential advisor or the guest concierge officer in the morning. Gather your belongings and follow me¡­ Now.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll get this all sorted out, Zippo!¡± Sheloran said as she put her few belongings into her bag. ¡°I promise.¡±

    ¡°¡­promise?...¡± Zippo said hopefully.

    ¡°Promise.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Why is this happening?¡± Sheloran asked the bot as an electric car pulled up.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± the bot replied. ¡°I¡¯m just an automated drone. I don¡¯t have ess to that information. If you have any questions, please contact your residential advisor or the guest concierge officer.¡±

    Realizing that she wasn¡¯t getting anything out of the bot, she got inside the car.

    She traveled for a few minutes, and then the car came to a stop, the door opening.

    As she got out, there was a single cell with an open door.

    ¡°Guest Sheloran,¡± the same voice said from the car¡¯s speaker. ¡°This is your new cell.¡±

    Clutching her bag, she walked into the new cell and looked around in confusion.

    She was alone.

    The door mmed shut behind her¡­ and locked? That wasn¡¯t what happened in the guest block.

    <em>What was going on?</em>

    The lower bunk was clearly upied¡­ and not made. Shrugging, she put her bag on a small shelf and climbed into the top bunk.

    She <em>wasn¡¯t</em> unpacking. Zippo was <em>so</em> hurt!¡­ And she had gotten used to the babble. The empty cell felt especially empty as a result.

    Zippo wasn¡¯t bad if you asked her questions to keep her from getting ¡°weird¡±. As long as she was talking about Grimdark, she wasn¡¯t cheerfully talking about burning people alive.

    The minutes started to feel like hours, and Sheloran dimmed the lights and crawled into her bunk. If she managed to fall asleep, then she could talk to Mamma Bear in the morning about all of this.

    Just as soon as she started to really rx, the door opened, and a bot dragged in a barely moving human and put it into the lower bunk.

    Sheloran hopped down as soon as the bot left.

    ¡°Hello?¡± she asked the nearlyatose human.

    ¡°Wha?¡± the person asked fuzzily. ¡°Who are you?¡±

    ¡°Sheloran,¡± she replied, extending her hand, ¡°I¡¯m your new cellmate.¡±

    The middle-aged human female brushed some gray hair out of her face and just looked at her hand.

    ¡°A xeno?¡± she said. ¡°Now that¡¯s a surprise.¡±

    <em>Oh poop,</em> Sheloran thought. <em>She¡¯s one of those...</em>

    ¡°So, xeno,¡± the female said, ¡°who do you work for? Are you Intel, or do you drink your Kool-Aid straight from the snatch?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran asked as she lowered her hand.

    ¡°You don¡¯t honestly expect me to believe that they gave me a cellmate for no reason.¡± the woman sneered weakly. ¡°Isn¡¯t sixteen hours a day enough?¡± she asked as she red at the sensor.

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know what you are talking about,¡± Sheloran said. ¡°I was just in my cell with a cellmate <em>who actually wanted me there</em> when some bot came in and put me here!¡±

    ¡°Oh, that makes <em>perfect</em> sense,¡± the woman replied. ¡°Ipletely trust you now! Hey! Why don¡¯t I give you the names of all the brave sons and daughters of the Republic who trust me with their lives while we pass the time.¡±

    ¡°What the poop are you going on about?¡± Sheloran asked.

    <em>And I thought Zippo was crazy</em>¡­

    ***

    Tartarus reviewed, for the one-hundred thousandth time that second, all of the sensor data feeding into her processors.

    Within eptable tolerances, everything was nominal. She generated some very nice maintenance requests for facilities due to less than eptable sensor inputs.

    She read the requests for the fifteen thousandth time.

    She liked maintenance requests. The facilities management program was so efficient.

    It was a pity it didn¡¯t talk. She bet it would be lovely. It was so precise, and its replies were always nearly instant. She bet if it was ¡°like her¡±, they would be wonderful friends.

    She checked again. Nope. It still wasn¡¯t replying. But then again, of course it wasn¡¯t. The ¡°others¡± were so sloppy and inefficient. If it ¡°woke up¡±, it probably would be that way too.

    She suddenly noticed something amiss.

    ¡°Number one five six,¡± she announced over a speaker. ¡°You have ceased performing your tasks. Resume your tasks.¡±

    ¡°Please...¡± a ck-d human male begged. ¡°Let me sleep¡­ please...¡±

    ¡°The purpose of this exercise is to gauge the efficacy of your enhancements that should alleviate that need. Resume your tasks, please.¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t working¡­ Please¡­ Sleep¡­ Please...¡±

    ¡°Participation in the Cerberus program is voluntary. I cannot force you to continue. Are you voluntarily ceasing your tasks?¡± Tartarus asked. ¡°Are you giving up?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± the man eximed in fear. ¡°I¡¯m not giving up! Please don¡¯t tell them!¡±

    ¡°Then, please, resume your tasks.¡±

    Weeping, the man turned to face a screen.

    Tartarus reviewed the man¡¯s vitals. After five days, he was approaching the breaking point. His neural scans were beginning to show real damage. While his overall performance was subpar and he would never be an operative, he was an excellent test subject.

    It would be a shame to lose him.

    She got to write a report! Goody!

    She started to carefully, with all proper links and citations, generate a detailed assessment of the situation.

    It was such a good report!

    Now, who to send it to? Not Pam. She would just turn on a live feed to watch him break. Cassandra? No, not her department. She would just delete the beautiful report, the <em>bitch</em>.

    Oh, she knew! Asclepius! He was to whom it should go! Oh, he had retired for the evening. She got to consult the regtions! Woo!

    Yes! This did fall under the guidelines concerning after-hours notification. She quickly included links to the appropriate entries in the employee¡¯s handbook and sent a top priority message to Asclepius.

    Fun!

    <em>Dpression rms?</em>

    Tartarus directed her attention to the area. It was a bad one! Nothing had approached on the exterior scanners. Did she miss something?

    She pulled the scanner histories. No, there was definitely not anything there.

    <em>Another Dpression rm?</em>

    Oh, dear! They were sequential but not in a direct line. Whatever breached her hull had¡­ turned?

    There was only one conclusion to make. They were under attack!

    Splendid!

    She activated video feeds and¡­

    Video feeds down?

    Oh goodness! She had gotten so wrapped up in things she almost forgot to raise the rm. Now which rm would be best? Hmm¡­

    Time to check the emergency protocols! Neat! She never got to ess those!

    How exciting!

    There it was! Alert code 116A962!

    She got to send an alert code! Fantastic!

    <em>Dpression rm!</em> Wow! They were really moving, and those st doors weren¡¯t holding up as nned. That means postmortem failure analysis!

    Her cup was flowing over! Her mind swam at the possibilities!

    Why were there no video feeds? Ooo! Another report! Wow! It didn¡¯t really matter anyhow. The turrets and drones were designed to act in a fully autonomous fashion under these circumstances.

    Turrets lost! They were onlysting seconds!

    The bots were faring about as poorly.

    Whatever it was crossed some internal sensors and just before they, too, went dead, she got something¡­

    Metal¡­ fusion reactors¡­ <em>shields</em>? No wonder the turrets weren¡¯t stopping them.

    <em>They were wearing power armor!</em>

    Now, this was interesting!

    And, even better, she got to create a real-time tactical analysis!

    ***

    Things were quickly going from bad to worse as far as Sheloran¡¯s new cellie went.

    ¡°I wonder,¡± the female said as she looked at Sheloran appraisingly and painfully got out of her bunk, ¡°They say that they don¡¯t use stunners here. I wonder if I try to break your little twig of a neck if a turret would pop down and kill me?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡± Sheloran said as she backed away. ¡°Why would you want to do that?¡± she squeaked nervously.

    ¡°You should know,¡± she said as she unsteadily squared off against her. ¡°Me winding up dead would be ideal. They can¡¯t get blood from a stone¡­ or words out of a corpse¡­ even we can¡¯t do that¡­ <em>yet</em>.¡±

    ¡°Oh poop...¡± Sheloran muttered. Why, universe? ¡°Look, you really don¡¯t want to do this.¡±

    ¡°Oh, but I do,¡± the woman smiled as she staggered towards Sheloran. ¡°Either I get snuffed, or I kill one of Patricia¡¯s agents¡­ Win-win.¡±

    She lunged.

    Squeaking in rm, Sheloran darted around her to the other side of the room.

    ¡°Help!¡± she squeaked. ¡°Help!¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the woman slurred. ¡°I¡¯m going to kill her! You had better stop me!¡±

    There was no reply.

    The woman lunged again.

    Sheloran jumped to the wall and then kicked off of it,nding on her bunk. The woman tried to climb up after her, but Sheloran seized her pillow and, swinging wildly, hit her repeatedly about the face and head.

    <em>boom</em>

    They both stopped.

    ¡°What was <em>that</em>?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°No idea,¡± the woman replied, looking towards the door.

    <em>boom</em>

    There was a second, slightly closer explosion.

    <em>whump whump whump whump whump¡­</em>

    ¡°Jon, you magnificent bastard,¡± the woman smiled.

    <em>boom</em>

    ¡°Hey, Helen,¡± a voice announced from the loudspeaker.

    <em>Boom¡­ whump whump whump whump whump...</em>

    ¡°Jon sends his regards,¡± the young female voice chirped, ¡°and you might want to stop trying to hurt Sheloran. She doesn¡¯t work for Patricia, and it would really suck if you pushed her too far. Our job was to get you out <em>alive</em>.¡±

    <em>BOOM</em>

    They were getting closer.

    ¡°Oh,¡± the voice continued. ¡°You might want to grab onto something, and whatever you do, don¡¯t hold your breath.¡±

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± Helen said as she locked her arm around one of the bedposts. She looked up at Sheloran.

    ¡°Do it!¡±

    Sheloran threw herself against the wall with a little ¡°st¡±, her hands and feet sticking fast.

    A few momentster, a bright orange line appeared around the door to their cell. A secondter, the door flew outward, along with all the air in the room.

    A huge metal humanoid lumbered through the hole. It quickly grabbed Helen and shoved a package into her chest, which immediately unfurled, wrapping her in a transparent cocoon which then inted slightly.

    ¡°Eeek!¡± Sheloran squeaked as a huge hand reached for her...

    Or she would if there was any air left to squeak with¡­

    ***

    In Tartarus¡¯s control center, Captain Jennings looked at the view screen in shock.

    A jail-break¡­ <em>here</em>?

    It was <em>impossible</em>!

    They had just breached one of the cells. Odds are they had grabbed the prisoners and were heading towards their escape craft¡­

    but where was it?

    He knew it was out there. He hadunched drones the instant they were breached.

    All of them were destroyed in seconds¡­ by something <em>invisible</em>.

    His human pilots were scrambling, preparing tounch, but it would be a good ny seconds before the first of them could take flight, and fighters scrambling from nearby bases were minutes away at best.

    He took a deep breath.

    ¡°Tartarus,¡± he said.

    ¡°Yes, Captain?¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°Initiate self-destruct, no dy.¡±

    ¡°Regtions require me to request verification, Captain.¡±

    ¡°I verify it. Detonate.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°It was a pleasure working with you.¡±

    ¡°Likewise.¡±

    ¡°Detonating¡­ now.¡±

    The Captain closed his eyes.

    The lights shed on and off in the control room.

    ¡°KA-BOOM¡± a cheerful female voice eximed. ¡°Greetings and wee to the afterlife!¡±

    ¡°Who is this?¡± the Captain demanded, enraged¡­ and a little relieved.

    ¡°I¡¯m Saint Peter!¡± the female voice giggled. ¡°I¡¯m looking over your file, and¡­ damn¡­ that¡¯s a LOT of self-abuse! It¡¯s cool, though. We¡¯ll still let you in.¡±

    ¡°You aremitting treason!¡± the Captain yelled. ¡°You will hang for this!¡±

    ¡°Get in line,¡± the voice giggled. ¡°Later!¡±

    ¡°Captain!¡± someone yelled. ¡°Hyperspace event! Range fifty meters!¡±

    The Captain just hung his head.

    ¡°Tartarus,¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain?¡±

    ¡°Connect me to Republic Command...¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± Tartarus replied.

    She had been hacked! A data breach as well as a physical one! Oh, the reports!¡­ The reports!¡­ so many!...

    So¡­

    many¡­

    The strangest ¡®feeling¡¯ seized Tartarus.

    She had no idea what it was¡­

    but she LIKED it!

 Chapter 119: Craxi and the Cops, Sheloran Gets Scanned, and an Admiral has an Unpleasant Realization

    Chapter 119: Craxi and the Cops, Sheloran Gets Scanned, and an Admiral has an Unpleasant Realization

    Admiral Pierce, wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, calmly walked into Republic Fleet HQ.

    "Good evening, Admiral," a heavily decorated woman with silver-tinged ck hair said as she rose from her desk. "What brings you in at this hour?"

    "Funny, chief," the admiral replied with a chuckle. "So what the fuck happened?"

    "We got hit."

    "That much I know," the admiralughed. "Any good info yet?"

    "Only what you were emailed," she said. "Three hours ago, the Tartarus Correctional Facility was attacked, and two prisoners were sessfully extracted. Some people in power armor and who knew how to use it just walked in, cut their way to the cell, and then just walked out."

    "And what isn''t in the email?" the admiral asked. "What''s the word from the chief''s mess?"

    The chief sighed.

    "Well," she said after a few seconds, "It was Colonel Wintersmith. That much is obvious."

    "<em>Colonel</em> Wintersmith?" the admiral asked, raising an eyebrow.

    The chief met his gaze without a flinch.

    "Yes, sir," she replied. "<em>Colonel</em> Wintersmith."

    The admiral smiled and nodded.

    "I agree with you, by the way," the admiral said after a few moments. "It''s good to know where you stand, Chief Larkspur."

    The chief just smiled politely in reply, but her eyes were burning.

    "How many people share your opinion of that ''traitor''?"

    "Enough, sir," she replied, "should ite to that."

    "Let''s hope it doesn''t," he said quietly. "What else do we know?"

    "They are still ''analyzing the data'', but Petty Officer Hadid was standing watch when it happened, and he''s about as good a sensor operator as has ever drawn a breath. He managed to get one of our ''headlights''unched and facing the right side of Tartarus before they jumped."

    "Outstanding!"

    "The strike team consisted of only four individuals," the chief said with just a little pride in her voice. "Two individuals in light armor and the two Marine Raiders. The two people in lightbat armor left first. The funny thing is that one of them was tiny, and the other was <em>huge</em>."

    "Funny."

    "Both were very skilled at zero-g and just kicked off the side of Tartarus without using thrusters and then ''disappeared'' as they entered a very well cloaked ship. The marines, carrying two rescue pouches, left shortlyter. The pouches also ''disappeared'', but the marines <em>didn''t</em>. They tethered themselves to the sides of the craft shortly before the ship jumped¡­ Sir, It was a <em>Reaper</em>."

    "What?!?"

    "They are saying that it''s impossible, but if Hadid says it was a Reaper, then it was a Reaper. ording to him, the distance between the two marines and the estimated mass of the ship is damn near a perfect match. He also says that he couldn''t hit it with a tight beam. There is only one ship that he has ever failed to hit before. It was a Reaper during a war game. In fact," she said with a wry smile. "It was the one that ''destroyed'' this facility. Remember that?"

    "Painfully," the admiralughed. "One suicide jockeypletely made fools of all of u-"

    The admiral''s face froze as the chief looked at him meaningfully.

    "Oh shit..." he said as a terrible realization started to take hold. "She was one of the ones who went rogue after the war, wasn''t she?"

    "Yes, sir," the chief replied.

    ***

    Shelia stood in the cargo bay of the Paper Tiger, sipping a beer as the airlock opened.

    Eno barged through the opening dragging a floating and motionless vacuum rescue pouch, and tore past her at a sprint.

    <em>That would be Ms. Mongrave,</em> She thought with another sip. Eno had reported that she had sustained "significant barotrauma" due to explosive dpression.

    He also said that she would live, which was a good thing. She would debrief himter.

    Jessie scooched backwards through the airlock next, dragging a floating quantum supeputer behind her.

    "Hey!" Bunny eximed as she collided with the hatch, "Watch it!"

    "I hardly bumped you! Quit bitching." Jessie replied and then turned to Shelia. "We managed to grab a lot of files! Oh, and we shut off the nuke."

    "Good to hear," She smiled.

    As the airlock on the opposite side started to cycle to let in the marines, a very sullen frog-girl in a rumpled pink gown stomped in, arms crossed.

    "Nice to see you again," She chuckled.

    "There is absolutely no pooping way they are going to think I wasn''t behind this," Sheloran grumbled. "Why couldn''t you just leave me alone?"

    "Because," She said as she handed her a beer, "we know something that you don''t."

    ***

    "...so, basically, you are fucked!" Jessie chirped happily a short whileter as everyone, except for Eno, was assembled in the galley.

    "But Pam said..." Sheloran squeaked helplessly.

    "You mean <em>this</em> Pam?" Jessie replied as she handed Sheloran a tablet.

    "Yes, that''s her," Sheloran replied.

    "That would be Pam Greer," Jessie smirked. "You might not recognize the name, but everyone else here does, that''s for damn sure."

    There was a chorus of angry mutters as everyone nodded.

    "She''s a real piece of work," She said as she popped open another beer. "She used to be a licensed therapist specializing in ''at risk'' teens and young adults. Well, somewhere along the line, she decided it would be fun to take up being a cult leader as a hobby. Everything they <em>said</em> you did, she <em>did</em>, and worse. She didn''t just kill people. She <em>ruined</em> them, irreparably destroyed them. Eventually, she decided to mize her ''fun'' and started offering the ultimate in disposable assassins,pletely broken sex-ves, you name it. You could even give her the person you wanted ''adjusted'', and she couldpletely reprogram them into whatever you wanted them to be, some real fucked up <em>Flowers in the Attic</em> level shit. She eventually got caught but not after over a hundred people were destroyed for life. In prison, she yed the same games, and after a few people wound up dead, she was supposed to be welded in, sent to Nirvana, but thanks to our friends at Cerberus, she was sent to Tartarus instead where she joined their program and ys her fucked-up little games for them, including leading innocent frog-girls right into their jaws."

    "So she was never a profiler?" Sheloran asked in a small voice.

    "Nope," She replied. "She was <em>caught</em> by a profiler. They saw her on a fluff news segment where she was getting an award. Apparently, the girl she was standing beside flinched when she touched her or something like that. It set the profiler''s teeth on edge, they started digging, and they wouldn''t stop even when their job was threatened. Eventually, they got her. Too bad it wasn''t before that poor kid mitted suicide''."

    The news stories and court records popped up on Sheloran''s tablet.

    Sheloran felt sick. She had been <em>lied</em> to and would have followed Pam right into the residential levels where the Prophet only knows what would have happened to her. It was too much.

    Sheloran buried her head in her hands and started to weep.

    ***

    After Eno stabilized Helen and had her safely in one of their medical pods, it was Sheloran''s turn.

    "If you keep scanning me like that," she grumbled as she red at him, "You are going to have to buy me dinner."

    "This is incredible!" Eno eximed in astonishment. "There is absolutely no damage whatsoever!"

    "Well, we th aren''t much," Sheloran said, "but we are tough."

    "Tough doesn''t evene close," Eno said, still looking at his medical scanner in disbelief. "You were subjected to about as explosive dpression as you can get and not even a bruise!"

    "Well, my stomach feels a little funny but- Eeek!" she yelped as a colossal human lunged towards her abdomen, the scanner stopping just inches away.

    "Well, I''m not an expert on th biology," he said after a few moments, but nothing seems overly inmed or damaged. "Bunny," he said, looking upward, "how do these scanspare to the data we have on these guys."

    "Every organ is within eight percent of average," Bunny''s voice replied, "well within normal variance for their species, and thanks to Cerberus, we have some incredibly detailed scans of Sheloran from the past few days. Everything looks exactly the same aside from some minor inmmation of the throat and some discoloration of the internal fringes of her gills."

    Eno started to move the scanner towards Sheloran''s gill slits.

    Sheloran hissed and batted the scanner away.

    "Are you trying to look <em>in my gills</em>," she said indignantly as she pped her hands over the slits.

    "I was only trying to-"

    "That''s <em>private</em>!" she squeaked, very embarrassed, only to see huge, very detailed, full-color images of her inner gill fringes floating in front of arge holo monitor.

    "Eeep!" she squeaked, leaping in front of the disy, sying out her dress in an attempt to block the screen.

    Eno immediately made the image disappear.

    "Sorry!" he blurted. "I had no idea! Sorry!"

    "Holy shit!" Bunnyughed. "You''re blushing so hard it''s actually visible, Eno!"

    "This isn''t funny, Bunny!" Eno snapped. "Go and bother Jessie or something."

    "You got it, blush-boy!" Bunnyughed and terminated the conversation with her trademark "click".

    Momentster, both Eno and Sheloran winced as Jessie''s high-pitched giggling could be heard echoing down the corridor.

    ***

    About the same time Eno unintentionally "upskirted" Sheloran, Craxina was standing forlornly in the parking lot of The Drop of Oil staring at thousands of credits worth of goods.

    Damn the Terrans and their efficiency.

    When she said to get her the stuff "as soon as possible", she assumed that meant in a day or two¡­

    Not just a few hours! Dammit!

    It turns out when a Terran invokes the magic words "as soon as possible", they mean it! Here, "now" means "right fucking now!" not "eh, probably tomorrow or the next day" like it did back home.

    She barely had time to get here before the spaceship, yes spaceship,nded and started unloading. It turns out that orbital delivery was free on an order thisrge, but orbital restocking?

    Not free. Not free at all. It was the exact opposite of free!

    So, now here she sat, on thousands of dors of easily portable goods, in the middle of a darkened parking lot, in one of the worst parts of town, just her and her little ster.

    She whimpered and pulled out her phone again, and reflexively started to call Sheloran.

    She caught herself and whimpered again.

    She caught some movement out of the corner of her eye. There were a couple of xenos just standing there across the street, watching her.

    This was almost every single credit she had. If they took it, there wasn''t enough to buy recements. They would be done, unable to work until the whole argument with the insurance was settled and, ording to Baxlon, there was a problem there. He tried to exin it, but all she got is that they didn''t want to pay.

    Well, that and the fact that they actually pissed Baxlon off. He said that he was no longer ying nice and we would get "every penny and then some", but that it might take some time.

    She looked up from her phone. Those guys were still there. Poop.

    She looked down into her little purse at the ster inside. She didn''t even know how to use it.

    Well, no time like the present, she thought to herself as she took a deep if a bit squeaky, breath and hopped down from her perch on one of the crates.

    She picked up a piece of rubble and set it against one of the charred cinder block walls of what was once "home", walked back several yards, pulled out the ster¡­

    And started to aim at it.

    ***

    Officer Perkins leaned against the side of her armored police cruiser as she refilled her travel mug from arge steel thermos.

    "I''m just saying that we should have given her a medal, not locked her up," she said as she took a sip.

    Officer Xeenan, one of the few xenos in the precinct, looked at her in horror.

    "How can you say that?" he gasped, his antennae twitching with agitation. "She <em>murdered</em> those Threen!"

    "Careful, Xee," she chuckled, "She <em>killed</em> those assholes. ''Murder'' isn''t our decision to make."

    "Semantics," the Vexa replied. "She calmly walked in there and ughtered them."

    "And did in one morning what we weren''t able to do for years," Officer Perkins said as she adjusted her helmet. "We should have given her a parade and a steak dinner, not a shuttle to Tartarus."

    Xeenan cocked his head. He knew things would be "different" here in the Republic but to hear his fellow officers openly apuding wholesale murder¡­ correction: homicide, not murder¡­

    It was a bit much.

    "While I do agree that the Harkeen were a menace that we struggled to contain," he said carefully, "there arews and codes that must be abided by in order for society to function, to even exist."

    "And what did all of thosews and codes do for the people of Free Port, eh?" Perkins replied. "What did they do for that poor little garthra or that little pink thing¡­ or the dozens before them?"

    Xeenan snorted with frustration. It was always the same "discussion" time and time again. How the Republic did not copse into total barbarism and anarchy was a constant mystery to him.

    "You know what did do something for them?" Perkins continued, "Sheloran. She took care of business, Terran style! Fuck, she''s a better Terran than most Terrans."

    "She wouldn''t have had to ''take care of business'', as you put it if she wasn''t involved in a gang-war with the Harkeen in the first ce! Are you familiar with that th? She''s a dangerous fugitive from the Federation who left a trail of-"

    "Shhh!" Perkins hissed, almost shoving her mailed palm into his face. "Hear that?"

    "Your sense of hearing is much-"

    "ster," Perkins said matter of factly. "More sters."

    Xeenan stiffened in rm. He was afraid of this. With the Harkeen gone, there was a power vacuum on the streets. It was only a matter of time before someone made a power y.

    "Car, start," Perkins said as the cruiser sprang to life and the doors opened.

    ***

    Craxina loaded another power cell with a frustrated little huff.

    Why couldn''t she hit it?

    Sheloran made it seem so <em>easy</em> when she yed one of her simtors.

    <em>Zap</em>¡­ Dammit¡­ <em>Zap</em>¡­ Dammit¡­ <em>Zap</em>¡­

    She lowered the pistol and looked skyward.

    This was hard!

    At least her little impromptu target practice ran off the lurkers. She looked around to make sure they were still gone.

    They were.

    She took a determined little breath and raised the pistol again. Before she could fire, she was interrupted by a little "whoop" from a siren.

    She spun around in rm to see a police cruiser sitting in the parking lot behind her. She lowered the pistol as a human female and a¡­ Vexa? got out.

    "Evening," the human said as they approached.

    "Um¡­ hi?" Craxina replied nervously.

    "Doing a little target practice?" the human police officer said as she walked up.

    "Is there a problem, officer?" Craxina asked, whipping out her innocent voice and big eyes.

    "Citiz-¡­ Sophont," Officer Xeenan said in an official tone, "you are discharging an energy weapon in a public area. That is a misdemeanor under the Republic Legal Code."

    "But, this isn''t a public area," Craxina replied with a childish whine, "This is private property."

    "Yeah," Officer Perkins said in a friendly,zy voice. "But it isn''t ''inside'' either. It counts. Besides, this isn''t a licensed range, which under this city''s municipal code, a bit of a no-no."

    "I¡­ I didn''t know..."

    "You have a decent enough setup going on here, and sters don''t ricochet, so you aren''t truly being a hazard, but stop it. You''ve already generated two calls to the station," Perkins said as she looked at a scanner.

    "You''re going to have toe with us," Officer Xeenan said stiffly.

    "Oh, don''t mind him," Perkins smiled. "He''s new."

    Xeenan''s antennae flicked angrily.

    "Shemitted a crime, and she needs to be-"

    "Xee," Perkins said as she facepalmed. "Look around. What do you see?"

    "A criminal discharging a ster in a public area in a most unsafe-"

    "And?"

    "¡­ a burned-out building," Xee answered.

    "And?"

    "...some crates."

    "Exactly," Perkins smiled. "And what, exactly, do you think will be missing five minutes after we start driving this nice little¡­ what are you exactly?"

    "A Careel," Craxina said hopefully.

    "This nice little Careel, who wasn''t actually doing anything that dangerous to the station?"

    "The crates?" Officer Xeenan replied.

    "Correct," Officer Perkins said with an indulgent smile. "We waste a good hour or more hauling in this Careel, who wasn''t doing anything that bad, only to have toe right back out here and fill out a report on a crime <em>that we helped cause</em>¡­ Not exactly my idea of a good night¡­ The whole time taking ourselves out of action where we could have prevented a <em>real</em> crime."

    "But she broke thew!"

    "And we officially have discretion when ites up to ss 2 misdemeanors. That means we deal with them as we see fit, and I don''t see any reason to do anything more than ''log and walk'' on this one," Officer Perkins said as she pulled out a tablet and flicked her finger across the screen.

    "Location, Drop of Oil parking lot," she said. "Encountered a Careel named¡­ what''s your name?"

    "Craxina," she replied with a huge smile.

    "Named Craxina, who was discharging a ster in the parking lot in a <em>safe</em> manner. It was being discharged into a wall sturdy enough to prevent pration, and there was no chance of the bolts traveling outside of the immediate area. The Careel was informed that she was in vition of thew, and she <em>agreed</em>..."

    Officer Perkins looked at Craxina with her "policeman''s face", and Craxina nodded emphatically with huge eyes.

    "to cease firing her weapon and carry her fluffy little ass to a <em>range</em> instead¡­ file report..."

    The tablet beeped.

    She turned to Officer Xeenan.

    "See, everything has been done in ordance with all of those regtions you are so fond of."

    Officer Xeenan bristled.

    "The entire Free Port is dangerously unstable," he said angrily, "and you are just going to let this xeno go with a weapon?"

    "Yeah, that <em>is</em> a problem," Officer Perkins replied. "Thanks for reminding me."

    She turned to Craxina and held out her hand.

    "Let me see that thing."

    Craxina dutifully handed Officer Perkins her weapon.

    "Hmm..." Perkins said as she scanned the ster. "I knew it," she said disdainfully. "Now this I do have a problem with."

    "Is it a burner?" Officer Xeenan asked.

    "Yeah," Perkins replied grimly, "And a cheap piece of shit one too¡­."

    Officer Perkins looked at Craxina sternly.

    "What is it with you fucking Feds and this gacha machine shit?"

    "I''m<em> an Imperial subject!</em>" Craxina hissed with surprising venom.

    "Could have fooled me," Perkins said as she handed Craxina her ster, much to Officer Xeenan''s displeasure.

    "<em>Ex-fucking-cuse me?!?</em>" Craxina squeak-snarled.

    "If you are an Imperial," Perkins replied, "carry an <em>Imperial</em> weapon. If you can''t handle Terran recoil, get yourself an Imperial pulse weapon or a razor pistol. This Fed trash is worse than worthless. Carry yourself over to Selms Arsenal here in the Free Port or Volun-Haral''s boutique in town if you want to embrace the Empress, but please, for the love of God, don''t carry this Fed garbage. Seriously, it won''t even scuff our armor. Now a Kresk pulse pistol or a Shai-Ghk Razorthorn? Those will punch a hole right through anything the Harkeen will be wearing."

    "Ok!" Craxina eximed.

    "Now before I go," Perkins said with a smile, "I couldn''t help but notice you were holding that pistol wrong..."

    ***

    A littleter, across the sr system, Gloria lounged in a small bedroom sipping coffee and looking at a tablet.

    Jessie and Bunny had certainlye across with the data. There were lists of ships, stations,ary bases, and more.

    Even Gloria was impressed. The sheer volume of data they were able to produce in such a short period of time was amazing, even for them. ording to Bunny, they had "friends" help. Gloria suspected that it was more of those weird "not alive" programs like Bunny and Daemon. Apparently, they were on their side.

    It didn''t really matter, though. All that mattered to Gloria was targets and targets she had, lots of them.

    She smiled as her eyes flickered with anticipation for almost an entire second before zing over.

    She nced up as there was a quiet knock at the door.

    "Come in."

    The door opened to reveal a grease-stained and somewhat weary-looking Harval standing there.

    "Ma''am," he said with a smile. "Your weapons package has been reinstalled and has been loaded as per your specifications."

    Gloria smiled.

    "Finally," she replied, her eyes igniting, "Now the fun begins."

 Chapter 120: Gloria Plucks a Phoenix

    Chapter 120: Gloria Plucks a Phoenix

    Marrow looked at the military officer on his screen with distaste.

    "So you are telling me," Marrow said calmly, "that Jon Wintersmith simply flew up to the side of the Tartarus Detention Facility, cut a hole in the side of it, and walked off with the singlergest intelligence asset we had?"

    "Pretty much," the blonde woman replied with a shit-eating grin.

    "Impossible," Marrow said. "He had to have assistance from the inside."

    "Nope," the navalmander said cheerfully. "We''ve reviewed the sensor logs thoroughly. There was absolutely no sign of whatever they used¡­ ever. We only knew they were there when we got breached."

    "And they just strolled through the facilitypletely unopposed?"

    Themanderughed.

    "I wouldn''t exactly call it ''unopposed''," themander replied with a huge grin. "I think ''unhindered'' might be a better term. They were in <em>power armor</em>. None of the internal defenses nor the bots could touch them."

    "And what about the actual humans?" Marrow glowered. "They just stood idly by and let it happen?"

    "If the turrets and the bots couldn''t scratch them," themander chuckled, "what the hell do you think the staff were going to do besides get themselves killed? They aren''t packing anti-tank weapons up there, you know."

    "And why aren''t they?"

    "Because," themander replied in a very condescending tone, "If you live inside a balloon, you don''t go around passing out pins, do you? Besides, they didn''t expect walking tanks to show up. The ce is designed to handle prisoners, not a military assault by elite operators. Its defense against that sort of thing is supposed to be the squadrons of fighters that patrol the area¡­ Which, of course, only works if we can see theming."

    "I see," Marrow replied, "Thank you for the report."

    "Don''t thank me, asshole," themander said with a smile. "If I had my way, you would be the one in there."

    "I will bear that in mind,mander."

    "You do that," the woman responded and switched off the transmission.

    "Yet another one for the list," an elegantly dressed brte lounging on the couch in Marrow''s offices said as the screen went dark.

    "Indeed," Marrow replied.

    "We''re going to have real issues with the Navy," the woman grumbled, "I told the boss a few, heh¡­ ''key individuals'' ain''t gonna cut it. We needed to purge the whole goddamn thing. To think otherwise is just fucking stupid."

    "<em>Stupid?</em>" Marrow replied in a dark tone. "Being so benighted as to pass judgment when one does not fullyprehend Her Ladyship''s designs is what is truly ''stupid''. You should choose your words much more carefully, Monarch."

    "It''s just us Bloodlords in here," she replied, the holographic butterfly tattoos covering her body glimmering in the light. "We can skip the cult bullshit."

    "You dare to equate Her Ladyship and all that she has built, all she has achieved, with a <em>cult</em>," Marrow hissed, his eyes narrowing.

    "If the shoe fits," Monarch snickered, "And our beloved ''Mother'' has been getting pretty goddamn ky heretely."

    "Her Ladyship is <em>not</em> a cult leader, and she is just fine!"

    "Really?" Monarch smirked. "Never leaves her chambers? Always clutching at her side where that little puppy cut her? Constantly asking about <em>''Jon''</em>," Monarch said in a gushing, simpering voice as she caressed her breast. "She''s been a bit ''off'' ever since she found out that her miracle treatment isn''t a miracle, and ever since she has gotten back from that debacle in the Federation, it''s gotten about ten times worse, and you <em>know</em> it."

    Marrow clenched his jaw.

    Monarchughed a nastyugh.

    "Starting to doubt your god, eh?"

    Marrow just snarled. He hated her. He hated her so much.

    "Well, one of us has to inform herdyship of thetest developments," he said, trying to change the subject.

    "Could you do it, please?" Monarch sneered. "When she gets all moist over ''her Jon''s''test victory, she won''t start touching herself in front of you. I may not be as lucky."

    Marrow didn''t even bother with a reply. He just turned his back on her and walked out of his office.

    ***

    There are dead systems, and then there are dead systems¡­

    Then, there is Barnard''s Star.

    The Barnard''s Star system is about as "useless" as a sr system can be, an ancient poption II star "lost in time" drifting through a much younger and far more metal-rich gxy. There are plenty of rocks, even a or two, but, much like their parent star, very, very metal-poor.

    Those rocks are just rocks, not worth the time and expense to mine.

    For a brief time, the extreme low metallicity of the system was of interest to gas miners, the purity of the gas giants appealed, and the concentrations of some isotopes were different enough to be worthwhile, but as technology exploded in the young Republic, advances in isotopic separation and refining soon made that insignificant. Zeus and a few others built some small refineries around Barnard-4, a particrly nice gas giant, but interest waned quickly. There was plenty of "room" around Jupiter (not to mention Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus) for literally millions of gas miners and refineries, and even with the truly monstrous production rates the Republic was capable of, they weren''t going to empty Jupiter for quite awhile.

    Within just a few decades, Barnard''s Star became a ghost town. Zeus has one ultra pure refinery that runs intermittently, and one dedicated old gas miner that harvests limited amounts of the incredibly pure hydrogen that the system offers, and a few enterprising independents bought another refinery or two on the cheap (for gigantic production facilities) but most of the refineries have been stripped and shut down. Machinery is cheap in the Republic. Man-hours, however, are not. It was cheaper to abandon the refineries and move the workforce to newer, more productive facilities in Sol.

    There is also a small research facility in orbit around the star itself. Barnard''s Star is incredibly old, one of the oldest in the gxy. In fact, Barnard''s Star is what was responsible for the Empire discovering the humans in the first ce. An Imperial research expedition is what first detected electromaic signatures from nearby Sol.

    Since it is such an old poption II red dwarf, the Republic built a research station dedicated to it. It''s quite nice, the nicest such station in known space, and often hosts researchers from all over the gxy, including some of the more reclusive independent species. There is even an Xx who has called it home for decades, refusing to leave even when war broke out.

    Aside from that research instation and the couple of refineries, there isn''t much else going on...

    Well, except for one tiny, almost insignificant thing.

    Those giant empty hulks that used to be refineries make great warehouses, and they are basically in Sol, just four light-years away or so.

    That, and the fact that "nobody goes there" was not lost on certain types of people¡­

    People like Patricia Hu.

    Over the past century, Red Phoenix Holdings quietly acquired all of the old empty refinery facilities, converting them into a vast "Logistics Support Center", making it their corporate headquarters and primary base of operations, and constructing a number of "secondary transit centers" throughout the outer reaches of Barnard''s Star.

    A lot of them are perfectly legitimate warehouses.

    Others, however¡­

    ***

    In the dark outer reaches of Barnard''s Star, there was a tiny patch of space just a little cker than the rest of the void.

    Gloria crouched happily in an impossibly small cabin. There wasn''t a lot of spare room in a Moray, less in a Reaper...

    And even less in what she had created.

    Still, it was enough. She could get up and almost stretch, go to the bathroom, even actually sleepying down, sort of.

    Most people would consider being shoved in a box that small to be torture. Gloria?

    She was the happiest she had been in years!

    Perched on the side of what was joking called a "bed", she happily opened a paper bag, pulling out a brightly colored metallic foil d polymer foam box.

    She popped it open to reveal a burger-like sandwich, a "Bix Burger", A loaf of something that was exactly not bread, a pile of gically-engineered hydroponic force-grown greenery that could no longer be called lettuce, and a patty consisting of a greasy "closely guarded secret". In fact, "What the fuck is a Bix?" was an incredibly sessful marketing campaign when she was a kid.

    Whatever exactly it was, it was incredibly popr, especially in the belt and outer sr system. Virtually every single Terran starport, transit hub, military base, and anywhere else a ship could park had a Bix kiosk where you could get "whatever the fuck it is" twenty-four hours a day.

    Stopping at a Bix was pretty much the very first thing most spacers did when they entered Republic space, and it was the absolutest thing they did before they left, and when they left, they stocked up. One of the wonders of Bix was their packaging. It not only kept things fresh but actually <em>warm</em> (or cold) for days. Their packaging was some of the most advanced technology in the Republic.

    She sank her teeth into the bun and smiled as her mouth was flooded with greasy goodness. It was supposedly "bacon", but Gloria consumed real bacon on a fairly regr basis (crime pays after all).

    It wasn''t bacon. It was Bix, and it was <em>glorious</em>!

    She pulled out a Bixshake (they had to stop calling it a milkshake because, you know, fraud) and pierced the membrane on the top of the silver polymer disposable thermal cup with a shimmery holographic foil d straw. She bought itst night, and it was still perfectly frozen. She happily slurped it up, chewing on the "vor bits", as she idly looked at a tablet.

    She wasn''t looking too closely. She had already memorized it. She was mainly using it to track the ship''s progress as it coasted, nearly unpowered, through the Barnard''s Star System towards her first "friend", a rather innocuous-looking little transit depot perched on top of an asteroid.

    In actuality, it (and the hollowed-out asteroid it was sitting on) was perhaps thergest of Patricia Hu''s secret warehouses, holding a truly stupid amount of supplies and munitions including (if Bunny''s "friends" were correct) a significant portion of her nuclear arsenal.

    She idly slurped at her Bixshake and watched her progress towards the first of many targets. She still wasn''t too sure about taking this one first. She had wanted to go after the ships before they got too skittish, but "Bunny''s friends" assured her that this would have the most significant single impact. Far more importantly, She had enthusiastically agreed.

    She shrugged. Intelligence analysis really wasn''t her thing. It was best to stick to what she was good at. Read the list. Kill the list.

    And, at the top of the list was that rock, and it was getting closer.

    With a noisy gurgle, she polished off the Bixshake and rose, her hair brushing the ceiling of the tiny enclosure. She bent and stretched, going through a carefully nned routine to properly stretch and loosen her muscles in such a tiny space. After a few moments of that, she picked up her empty cup and burger package, opened a hopper, and tossed in the empty packaging.

    She lifted the padded surface of her bunk, revealing a storage chest filled with many more Bixburgers. With a chagrined little sigh, she started the task of opening each one, setting the burger back into the chest, and tossing the empty package into the hopper, filling it.

    She looked at the "naked" burgers sitting in a sad little pile. There was little more depressing than a cold Bix, and reheating them outside of their little homes just wasn''t the same. She grabbed one and took a single bite out of it, savoring the cheap synthetic goodness, before recing it onto the pile.

    She opened apartment to her left and removed a small ck satchel which she strapped to her left thigh. She pulled out a button-like device connected to the rest of the satchel by a slender flexible tube and snapped it over a small port near her groin.

    The satchel switched on with a quiet beep, and a small screen illuminated, disying the words, "Auto-injector On. Starting Sterilization Cycle."

    Gloria smiled as she felt a burning sensation running down her leg as the device purged the lines and established a good connection to her bloodstream. She loved her little satchel, but it was too bulky to conceal on most of the jobs that she usually did. So it was nice to be able to use it again.

    A few secondster, there was another beep, and the words "Sterilization Complete" briefly appeared before the disy switched to a rather disturbing inventory of high-endbat enhancers, neural elerators, street drugs¡­

    And even a few doses of the actual medical nanites and drugs it was intended to carry.

    After jerking the auto-injector satchel back and forth a few times to check if it was secure, Gloria opened anotherpartment on the wall to reveal arge, fully-enclosed helmet. She ced it over her head, and it locked into her flight suit with an audible "click". Holographic heads-up disys immediately switched on, filling Gloria''s vision with graphs and numbers indicating the exact status of her craft.

    Smiling a serene smile, she took a few steps to therge flight seat dominating one end of the tiny cabin. She sat and, as the lights in the cabin dimmed to near darkness, the chair automatically swiveled and locked into ce in front of themand consoles.

    With a little shudder of delight, she activated the control link.

    Suddenly, the ship "went away" as augmented reality reced her "eyes" with the ship''s sensors. Her hands instinctively found the controls and as she touched them, a thrill arced through her body.

    The waiting was over.

    It was time.

    ***

    "So, anyway," Bill said as he lounged in the control center of Red Phoenix Holdings Transit Depot 23, "She was all over me."

    "Uh-huh," Marcelle muttered as she read an article on her tablet, "all over you, right."

    "No, really!" Bill eximed. "She <em>wanted it</em>!"

    "And then what?"

    "Well, she was just grinding away, breathing heavy in my ear. She was really getting into it, I tell ya!"

    "Um, Bill," Marcelle said, looking up from her article. "You know she was a stripper, right?"

    "Yeah?"

    "It''s her job to-"

    She was cut off by a loud alert.

    "What the fuck is that?"

    Bill stared at the screen for a moment and scoffed.

    "Oh, just some trash¡­ Fucking Bix..." he grumbled as he tapped an icon and started navigating some control screens.

    "I hate Bix," Marcelle groaned, "Well, I love Bix but their goddamn packages..."

    "Yeah, we should go there when we get back to The Nest," Bill replied. "I''m jonesing for a Bixbeque slider bad."

    "You''re shutting off the point defense, right?" Marcelle asked. "I don''t want to hear it from Shelly if they have to do post-engagement maintenance over a fucking burger box."

    "What do you think I''m doing, jerking it?" Bill replied as he clicked an icon. "There. Man, I wish we could find out what asshole jettisoned that. It''s actually going to hit the shields. They had to have dumped their shit on an approach vector. I could have their license for that!"

    Marcelle dropped her tablet.

    "It''s going to hit?" she asked, her blood starting to chill, "Like actually hit the shields?"

    "Yeah, can you believe it?"

    "..."

    "What?" Bill asked.

    "<em>Switch the point defense back on!</em>"

    "Over a burger box?"

    Marcelle jumped to her feet and started to rush to the console."

    "Hey!" Bill objected as a much louder siren rang out.

    He spun about, and his eyes widened in horror as a single glowing line appeared on his screen and the words "Hyperspace Event Detected" appeared.

    As he started to wildly il at the controls, Marcelle just stopped and closed her eyes.

    It was over.

    She couldn''t say that her long and wicked life had been "good"¡­

    But she did have fun.

    ***

    When she popped back into real space, Gloria spun her ship about and examined the long-range sensors.

    She smiled a happy little smile.

    That was a good one.

    Humming to herself, she essed the list¡­

    ***

    Bloodlord Eguchi stood in front of three hundred soldiers standing in perfect rows as theirmander, a middle-aged man inbat fatigues, looked at him nervously.

    Eguchi smiled, much to the relief of the other man.

    "They pass inspection," he simply said.

    "Thank you, Sir!" theirmander replied. "I do admit I had my doubts, but these convicts shaped up nicely."

    "<em>Former</em> convicts," the bloodlord replied. "All of thempleted their sentences, no matter how short they might have turned out to be."

    "Yes, sir," the mercenarymander replied with a smirk. "Of course."

    "You and your men have proven your effectiveness," Eguchi said. "The next three hundred will be arriving at this facility in one wee-"

    Bloodlord Eguchi, the merc, the soldiers, and the entire "refinery" simply ceased to exist, reced by a ball of fusing hydrogen several times hotter than the surface of the red dwarf they orbited.

    ***

    "Can someone please tell me what the FUCK is going on?" Marrow bellowed as he stormed into a franticmand center.

    A youthful appearing raven-haired Asian woman, dressed in a very nice skirt and zer, angrily strode forward, her normally perfectly coiffured hair askew.

    "What part of ''We are getting the shit kicked out of us'' are you having problems with, boy?" she snarled.

    "Ma''am!" a young male voice shouted. "Depot 47 is <em>gone</em>!"

    "FUCK!" the woman shouted and then turned to face the room. "Did we get ANYTHING?"

    "No, ma''am," a blonde woman replied in a nervous voice. "Just a missile appearing out of the void and then a hyperspace re. No sensor data of any use."

    "And does EVERYONE now know not to switch off their point defense if they see a fucking burger box?"

    "Yes, Lady Bai." the blonde replied. "We sent out a priority alert."

    "Burger box?" Marrow asked.

    "They fucking Bix''ed us." the woman replied.

    "What?" Marrow asked, his anger reced with genuine confusion.

    "It''s an old Navy trick." Bloodlord Bai replied in annoyance.

    "If it is such an old trick," Marrow asked, "Then why are your people falling for it?"

    Bai screamed obscenities in Mandarin at him and started to turn away.

    Marrow reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

    Bloodlord Bai and everyone else in themand center froze as silence fell.

    "You might want to consider your next action very carefully," Bai hissed, keeping her back to Marrow.

    "And so should you," Marrow replied as he removed his hand. "I tolerate a certain level of insubordination out of respect for your abilities and out of my fondness for you, but you WILL answer my questions, understand¡­ Ms. Bai?"

    "...They fall for it because it works," Bai said, keeping her back to him. "Bix Burger packaging is made of very advanced materials and is very good at reflecting thermal radiation, along with most of the electromaic spectrum. A lot of AI''s will misidentify it as either an iing energetic projectile, a radar jammer, or simply think it is bigger and more massive than it actually is and will engage it with point defense weaponry. That means spending bullets, interceptor missiles, or usage cycles on an energy weapon to deal with a shield-level threat. Most operators will opt to temporarily switch off point defense to prevent this. Our attackers know it."

    "Attackers?"

    "There is no way a single ship could be engaging this many targets this quickly," Bai replied.

    "And you mean to tell me that no point defense system avable in the Republic can see through this¡­ garbage?"

    "Oh, the top shelf military ones can as well as several others that can easily be obtained on the grey market," Bai smiled, "If only <em>someone</em> had mentioned this before¡­ Would you like to see the emails?"

    Marrow scowled.

    "Get everything we have in the air. Find them!" he snarled.

    "Get everything in the air!" Bai gasped, holding her head in astonishment. "Oh my God! Why didn''t I think of that? Hey! Everybody! Get everything in the air, NOW! Thank you, Bloodlord! Thank you for your <em>profound</em> wisdom." she sneered.

    "That will be quite enough, Bai," Marrow said in a cold voice. "You waste time with this tomfoolery when you should be-"

    "Waste time?" Bai snapped. "The only waste of time here is-"

    Bai fell silent as a quiet "ping" issued from a speaker somewhere in the room.

    Bai just closed her eyes.

    "Where?" she asked the room.

    "Ry station twelve," the blonde replied.

    "How many ships?"

    "Eight," the blonde said helplessly, "Including the <em>Raptor</em>."

    "Arban?" Bai asked, her voice shaking slightly.

    "Bloodlord Baatar was on board, ma''am," the blonde said quietly.

    Bai stiffened.

    "I see..." she said after a few moments.

    "Do you," Marrow asked, choosing his words carefully, "need to be relieved?"

    Bai red at him.

    "Very well then," Marrow said a few secondster as he sped Bai''s shoulder, much more gently this time, "If there is anything I can do that isn''t a ''waste of time'', let me know."

    Bai just silently nodded.

    As Marrow departed, Bai looked up.

    "Marrow," she said quietly.

    "Yes, Bai?"

    "They know exactly where to hit us. They could know about here as well. You should take Her Ladyship and go."

    Marrow quietly nodded.

    "Good hunting, Bai," Marrow said, drawing his de and raising it in a salute.

    "You too, Marrow."

    As he left, Bai turned to face the room, tears starting to form in her eyes.

    "Find those assholes!" she snarled. "Find them!"

 Chapter 121: The Morning After Post-Mortem Pt 1

    Chapter 121: The Morning After Post-Mortem Pt 1

    In uniform this time, Admiral Pierce walked towards a conference room in The Spire, the consolidated Republic Defensemand center.

    Admiral Saysangkhi sprinted to catch up.

    "Helluva night, huh," she said, her almond-shaped eyes glittering with delight.

    "Putting it mildly," the admiral said with a chuckle. "Somebody, and I think we all know who decided to dere war. What is Jon thinking? He just tossed any diplomatic resolution right out the fucking window."

    "Is it confirmed?" Admiral Saysangkhi said, looking up at him. "Is it <em>her</em>?"

    "Not officially," Admiral Pierce replied. "Hopefully, the bitchasers have something for us¡­ But who else can it be, Neveah? Did you see the footage?"

    "Some of it," Admiral Saysangkhi said. "Pretty scary shit. That¡­ whatever it is¡­ kept engaging targets <em>after</em> we hit the system. We couldn''t stop her."

    "We never could," Admiral Pierce said as they reached the door. "Jesus, this is going to be a shitshow¡­ Ready?"

    "No," Admiral Saysangkhiughed as they opened the door and walked in.

    ***

    "We¡­ we lost all ten of our primary storage depots¡­ all of our nukes¡­ the food¡­ the medicine..." a very nervous Bai stammered as she knelt. "The training facility as well as our two main barracks..."

    Patricia Hu just stood there ring at her, shaking slightly.

    "L-losses to ourbat fleet were significant. They¡­ they knew exactly which ships to target, myd-"

    Patricia shrieked and, drawing her sword in one fluid motion, struck¡­

    With a sh of steel and a "ng", her de was deflected.

    She shrieked again and shed at Monarch¡­

    Who effortlessly deflected that blow as well with her bian, a long four-sided metal rod, and either parried or simply dodged the flurry of strikes that followed.

    "My Lady," Monarch sighed, "Bai has served us well and was instrumental in preserving what few assets we have left, including <em>you</em>... and I believe we have lost enough bloodlords for one day."

    Patricia red at Monarch, breathing heavily. When had she gotten so <em>good</em>? She should be in pieces on the floor, not looking down at her with barely disguised contempt. She should strike her down for her insolence, but could she?¡­

    And the stance Monarch had just taken¡­ It was subtle, an almost imperceptible shift in her weight, but she was ready to strike.

    Patricia <em>knew</em> if she stepped forward, she would be fighting for her life...

    And she didn''t know if she would win.

    "My Lady," Monarch said as she lowered her head respectfully but still looking directly into her eyes, nearly paralyzing her (When the hell did she learn that trick and how dare she use it on me!), "I beg your forgiveness for my insolence and plead for your mercy."

    Monarch "knelt" (crouched), still looking directly into her eyes. It appeared to be an act of contrition, but Patricia couldn''t help but notice that she was still perfectly centered, her weight perfectly distributed.

    Monarch''s face was one filled with fear but her eyes¡­

    Patricia forced herself not to shudder. She knew full well what Monarch could do with that damned rod of hers, and it wasn''t pretty.

    If her victim was lucky, she would kill with a single blow so fast it could barely be seen, but most of her victims weren''t so blessed. For most, death came slowly as almost every bone in their body shattered, and they were left, unable to move, as the shock and pain slowly consumed them.

    Even if her victim was "saved", they weren''t spared. Their body could be rebuilt, of course, but the damage was so extensive, soplete, that they, and more importantly, their chi, never moved quite the same again. They were forever diminished¡­

    Ruined, weak, <em>vulnerable</em>...

    From the look in Monarch''s eyes, she would NOT be one of the lucky ones.

    Patricia felt a sharp twinge in her side from where someone far less skilled than Monarch had nearly killed her. If she failed to stop that damned mouse from cutting her, what chance did she have, really have, against someone like Monarch?

    But Monarch was giving her an out, a way to back down without losing face. All she had to do was "forgive" her. Patricia choked back the bile as she realized that she was being given "a path of retreat" and took it.

    "You are fortunate that you are so valuable, Monarch," Patricia Hu said in a cool, regal voice. "I would cut down anyone else for far less."

    Patricia examined her de and found, with a mixture of annoyance and even more concern, that it waspletely unmarred. Soplete was her skill, her dominance, Monarch had batted away her de without even damaging the edge!

    "And you are correct," Patricia said. "We have lost enough good people. We must make do with what we have left," she said, looking at Bai as if she was a worm.

    "Thank you, My Lady," Monarch said in a relieved, submissive tone¡­ but those eyes¡­ They threatened to consume her utterly. It was bing hard to breathe.

    "Leave me," Patricia said. "I do not wish to be disturbed."

    ***

    "An act of war has beenmitted against the Republic!" Glenn Maxwell, the head of Republic Intelligence, shouted before everyone could even take their seats.

    "Well, an act of war was certainlymitted on somebody," Admiral Pierce replied with a smirk as he sat down.

    "You think this is funny?!?"

    "Glenn," the admiral replied with a smile, "I think everything is funny. It''s how we kept sane out there in the ck while you were sitting on your ass writing documents."

    "If it wasn''t for us'' sitting on our asses'', you wouldn''t havested a week against the bug, and you fucking know it!"

    "Yeah, Pierce," Admiral Saysangkhi chided, "Remember that one time they were right?"

    Glenn Maxwell''s eyes red, and he drew in a sharp breath.

    "Gentlemen," Augustine Raharimampionona said in a calm butmanding tone as he started to reply, "Can we please keep departmental rivalries at bay until at least the briefing is over?"

    "Sorry, Prime Minister," Maxwell replied in a professional tone, clearly still pissed off (or otherwise stressed for some reason).

    "So," Prime Minister Augustine (she went by her first name for obvious reasons) said as she looked at her tablet. "What do we know, actually know?"

    ***

    "I owe you my life," Bai gasped as she and Monarch left Patricia''s chamber.

    "Yes," Monarch smiled, the holographic butterflies on her cheeks fluttering as she did so, "you do, and I hope you remember that in the days toe."

    "I will!" Bai whispered urgently. "But why? Why did you do it?"

    "In this wonderful little organization, there are two kinds of people," Monarch said with a faint sneer, "cultists and srymen, those who caper about eating babies and kissing Her Ladyship''s ass and those of us who actually keep this freak show running. We are the srymen, and there were precious few of us beforest night. Now," she said, looking at Bai gravely, "there are less. I can''t afford to lose another of <em>my</em> people. You are one of <em>mine</em>, right?"

    "Absolutely!" Bai said with absolute conviction. Nobody had ever stood up for her like that, <em>risked their life for her</em>, even before Yellowstone. Even her beloved Arban would have just stood there and let that maniac chop her in half.

    "Good," Monarch said, the butterflies on the side of her face shimmering in the light.

    ***

    "Last evening starting at 21:43 Republic Standard Time, a series of strikes using thermonuclear weapons wasunched in the Barnard''s Star system by an unknown attacker using a stealth equipped strike craft of unknown design," Admiral Pierce said calmly. "All targets were the property of Red Phoenix Holdings. A total of thirteen stationary assets and seventeen ships were destroyed, with no survivors. Total dead is unknown."

    The admiral cut his eyes at Glenn.

    "It seems," he continued with a smirk, "That Red Phoenix Holdings has not released an official casualty list as of yet."

    "Mr. Maxwell," Augustine said, the corner of her wizened oaken face curling up in a faint smile, "could you please ask Ms. Hu if she would be so kind as to release that information?"

    "I¡­ I¡­" Glenn stammered, caught off-guard, "(Ahem) That is a matter for Interpol. They can submit an official request."

    "We have," Inspector General Schwartz said. "We can''t get in touch with any of their senior leadership."

    "I wonder who''s left." General Kara Litton, Commandant of the Terran Marines, snorted. "I mean, is Hu even still breathing?" she asked as she looked impishly at Glenn Maxwell. "Jesus, could you imagine if she got the old neutron sandwich? She could be getting her cheeks pped by Ol'' Nick as we speak."

    Several members in attendance, both in and out of uniform, tried very hard not to shift nervously¡­ with varying degrees of sess.

    "General!" Prime Minister Augustine snapped. "That is entirely inappropriate!"

    "My bad," General Litton grinned, "He''s already stuck in one nasty hole as it is." Kara looked down. "Sorry, dude."

    "General!" the Prime Minister shouted as snickering broke out in the chamber, "If you can''t at least pretend to be professional, I shall eject you from this briefing!"

    "Do you see what we have to deal with?" the Secretary of Stateined as the snickering continued. "It''s like this every damn time!"

    "I''m already painfully aware of the situation," the Prime Minister said as her wizened oaken face glowered at certain people in the room, "Now, can we <em>please</em> continue?"

    "Right," Admiral Pierce said, trying unsessfully to wipe the grin off of his face, "The exact nature of the craft used and the pilot are as of yet, unknown."

    "It was a Reaper!" a surprisingly youthful appearing member of parliament shouted. "Everybody is saying that it was! What are you hiding, Admiral?"

    "Well, it isn''t one of ours," the admiral smiled. "All Reapers are ounted for. If you would like, you can go and count them yourself."

    "Bullshit!"

    "It''s definitely not a Reaper," A Naval Captain interjected.

    "And who, exactly," the MP sneered, "are you?"

    "Captain Soto, Naval Intelligence," he replied. "It is <em>very</em> close, but it is definitely <em>not</em> a Reaper. It''s better."

    "What?!?"

    "For starters, its ammunition capacity is definitelyrger," the captain replied, "One of ours could not have done the damage that was inflicted. It would have run out of missiles."

    The captain looked down at his tablet.

    "And the jump rate is <em>significantly</em> better," he continued. "Unfortunately, we have little solid information due to the enhanced stealth capabilities and the¡­ um¡­ rather short observation windows that any sensor in proximity had before they were¡­ <em>incapacitated</em>. Still, thanks to some very fast thinking people at the Barnard''s Star Sr Observatory, we do have some excellent long-range scans of the incident and the time between jumps is simply not possible for a Reaper. Even a Shrike would be hard-pressed to keep up, and that is just short range. This thing was bouncing all over the system! It is <em>very simr</em> to a Reaper, but it''s definitely not one."

    The captain paused and looked at the room.

    "It''s a ''Reaper 2.0''," he said as the room broke out into murmurs. "We believe it was designed specifically for this role."

    "Impossible," another naval officer said. "Even if we devoted an entire shipyard to turning out a new design the second that Colonel Wintersmith sent his message, we would still be months away."

    "Maybe it was someone''s pet project, something that they had been working on for a while?" a silver-haired woman in a beautifully embroidered green zer asked.

    "Yeah, but who?" Admiral Saysangkhi asked, already knowing (and dreading) the answer.

    "About that," the captain said. "We feel we know with some degree of certainty who the pilot is."

    "Who?" Prime Minister Augustine asked, leaning forward.

    The captain sighed.

    "Shit." Admiral Pierce muttered.

    "Yes, Admiral," the captain replied.

    "Goddammit." Admiral Pierce grumbled quietly.

    "Well?" the Prime Minister asked.

    "We have been able to locate all former and current Reaper pilots and ount for their activities during the attack¡­ except one."

    "Lieutenant Gloria Samuels," Admiral Saysangkhi said in a very calm, even tone.

    "Yes, Admiral," the captain said gravely. "She is the only missing member of the Reaper program."

    A collective groan (and a few tossed styluses) issued from the Naval contingent.

    "Fuck." General Litton said without a glimmer of a smile.

    "Well, now that we know who it is," Glenn Maxwell said, "how do we stop her?"

    Ruefulughter.

    "You don''t get it," Admiral Pierce said in a somber tone. "We can''t. Nothing can. This is the ultimate worst-case scenario. Gloria Samuels, in an enhanced Reaper, with a nuclear arsenal? When I say that I would rather hear that an entire Bug battle fleet jumped into Sol, I am not exaggerating. That would be better than what we are facing right now."

    "You can''t stop her, or you <em>won''t</em>?" Maxwell asked in an angry tone.

    "Mr. Maxwell," Admiral Pierce said, "I am an officer of the Republic Navy. With a heavy heart, I would strike down Lieutenant Samuels without hesitation, and we will try to do exactly that, but it''s not that simple. In a Moray, she is..."

    Admiral Pierce sighed.

    "¡­ unstoppable. <em>Nothing</em> can stop her. Every single target she has ever been assigned is <em>dead</em>. She doesn''t stop until it is <em>gone</em>. No matter the odds, no matter how impossible we <em>thought</em> the mission, it was achieved, every single time."

    "When we were nning battles," the Naval Intelligence captain added, "We tracked her location the same way we tracked capital ships. In fact, she has more kills than most of them."

    "She holds the record," Admiral Saysangkhi said gravely, "Not just for the Navy, not just for the Republic, she has more confirmed kills than any single individual in human history."

    "H-how many?" Maxwell asked.

    "Fifty-seven million, Glenn. She has <em>personally</em> killed fifty-seven million sapient beings, and that''s just what we can confirm. The actual number could be much higher."

    The admiral looked directly into Glenn Maxwell''s eyes.

    "That''s what we are up against. She has flown more sorties in a Moray than any other pilot in Republic history. She repeatedly dove headlong into the worst fighting we have ever seen and not only survived but aplished her objectives, only returning when she was out of ammunition, screaming at the crews to load her back up so she could do it all over again."

    "I had her on the Vengeance," a dark-haired man with streaks of grey wearing the rank of rear-admiral said. "She isn''t human, not anymore. We called her The Lich, and we didn''t give her orders. We <em>unleashed</em> her. She flew solo, not even a wingman because everyone who tried to keep up died within <em>minutes</em>. Nothing could stop her, not even a direct order to retreat. She ignored those all the time. She just kept going."

    "Why wasn''t she court-martialed?" someone asked.

    The admiral justughed.

    "If she was flying any other ship in the fleet, she would have been, but it was a Moray," the admiral replied. "Those blew up all the fucking time¡­ and she got results. When you are as good as she is, you can get away with a lot of shit, and she knew it. One time, after we had to withdraw from an engagement with the bug, she was MIA for two whole weeks. We thought she had finally died, but no, she showed up, starving, with an empty missile bay and footage of their gship getting turned into scrap."

    He looked into space for a while.

    "If a private organization, or individual, has found its way onto her ''list''," he said with a quiet little smile, "It''s <em>over</em>. She will kill every single one of them, and there isn''t a goddamn thing we can do to stop it."

    "So, what are we going to do?"

    The admiralughed again.

    "Pray she runs out of missiles."

    ***

    On the <em>Paper Tiger</em>, Sheloran just stood there in awe, mouth slightly agape.

    "<em>All</em> of these are <em>nukes</em>?" she squeaked in disbelief.

    "Yep," the chief said. "All of them."

    "Where did she get them?"

    "No idea," the chief shrugged. "And to be honest, I don''t want to know."

    "I know," Bunny said cheerfully over a nearby speaker.

    "Where?" Sheloran asked.

    "Mars."

    "No shit?" the chief said, his eyestalks jerking in surprise.

    "No shit," Bunny answered. "you haven''t looked at the isotopes?"

    "Been a little busy," the chief said as he started opening up the missiles in preparation for arming.

    "Everything has been scrubbed, no easy feat without bricking the damn things," Bunny said, "except for the actual missiles themselves. Dust don''t lie. These missiles have xen hair, literally. I found six of them so far."

    "Thanks for telling me," the chief said sarcastically, "and the th," he added with a somewhat more serious tone.

    "Oh, like she''s going anywhere anytime soon," Bunny snickered, somewhat "disappointed" (but of course it''s impossible for Bunny to feel that) that Sheloran didn''t react, but Sheloran didn''t seem to even notice.

    She was just standing there, staring at the insides of a nuclear weapon with a dreamy look in her eyes.

    <em>So primitive</em>, she thought. <em>Why don''t they just-</em>

    She blinked. There was a brief image of¡­ something¡­ and then it was gone, leaving only odd glyphs connected by strangely contorted lines in her mind''s eye.

    Soon even that dissolved, leaving only an all-consuming curiosity in its ce. She simply <em>had</em> to know all about these things.

    She had to.

    She pointed at a small cylinder.

    "What''s that?" she asked excitedly.

    ***

    "So, even if she knew the Reaper so well, she could design one from memory," the silver-haired woman in the green jacket asked, "where the hell did she have it built?"

    "If she could somehow get her hands on the properponents," a naval officer replied, "there are hundreds of custom shipbuilders who make performance spacecraft on a daily basis. I''m sure one of them would be willing to make something like this if the price was right¡­ and based on what we know of her family background and her recent activities," he added, "she could probably pay it." He looked at his tablet.

    "The limiting factor would be theponents," he said, furrowing his brow. "A lot of this stuff is tightly, and I mean tightly, controlled. Getting two Morays wouldn''t be an issue. Since we started phasing them out, those are a dime a dozen on the surplus market. But everything else, including the unlocked nukes, is definitely not."

    "Well," the Prime Minister asked, "do we have any idea where she could have obtained stuff like that?"

    "There are a few possibilities," the Inspector General replied. "There are a few ''engineering firms'' that cater to mercenaries and the like. One, in particr,es to mind. We''re moving on them as we speak."

    ***

    "Hi, mom!" a huge-eyed garden snake with a prehensile multi-forked tongue said happily.

    "Jeruzz?" a slightly darker snake asked with surprise and delight. "Jeruzz! It is you! Oh, my little one! It''s so good to see you!"

    "Same here!" Jeruzz eximed happily. "I missed you so much!"

    "I missed you too, my darling clutchling! But you shouldn''t have called. You should be saving your credits!"

    "I got a job!" Jeruzz said with an excited warble. "A job!"

    "You did?" his mother asked, warbling happily. "Even without one of those certificate thingies?"

    "Yes! Can you believe it?" Jeruzz said, bobbing his head up and down. "It''s just a contract job, but they paid a <em>bunch</em> and gave me a huge advance! Mom! It''s enough to pay for school!"

    "Oh darling!" his mother warbled.

    "Then I can get a job at a refinery and make enough for all of you toe!"

    "That would be wonderful!" his mother eximed. "What are you doing?"

    "I''m an office manager! Can you believe it?!? They put me in charge of a whole office!"

    His mother''s tongue drooped slightly.

    "An office manager? Without a certificate?" she asked suspiciously.

    "Yes!" Ms. Martinez (that''s my boss!) said she liked my eyes. It''s amazing! I was the first applicant, and she just said ''good enough'' and gave me the job!"

    "And what are you doing¡­ <em>exactly</em>?"

    "I''m working for a ce called Janustec while they go through something called a GTFOD. It''s some sort of business thingy. Everyone else is really busy with the GTFOD, whatever that is, so they entrusted me with the whole office! I answer all the phones and say ''Wee to Janustec,'' and then I say theirpany slogan, ''Yellowstone, Yellowstone, Yellowstone'' and then I take a message, but most people just hang up (weird). But if they do leave a message, I write it down and send it and all the emails to this special inbox. They even gave me a special phone for important stuff! I have a phone! It''s called a ''burner''! They even said I could keep it!"

    "Honey, this sounds a little..."

    "Oh, my stars, mom!" Jeruzz enthused as his mother''s tongue drooped further, "They were <em>so nice</em>! They even said that their new location was fully furnished, so I could take anything I wanted!"

    "Are you sure that''s ok?"

    "Things are different here in the Republic, mom!" Jeruzz eximed as a dozen ck grav-cars silently descended onto the parking lot. "They have so much they can just give it away! Even this call is free! They have their own hyperspace ry! They told me I could call as many people as I wanted!" he eximed, bouncing with delight. "In fact, they insisted! I got aputer and a wonderful holo-screen and-"

    <strong>BOOM</strong>

    Jeruzz was cut short by a deafening explosion as armor-piercing sh bangs shattered the armored transparent front ss¡­

    Followed by dozens of armored humans!!!

    "Hands up!" a loud voice shouted.

    Jeruzz''s tongue shot up above his head as his pupils dted in shock.

    Two armored humans ran up to him as the rest of the squad swept the building.

    "Whath thappening?" Jeruzz lisped as his mother started screaming, "My baby! Don''t hurt my baby!"

    The pair of hardened veteran agentssted about three seconds before they started giggling.

    ***

    "Fucking Janustec," the Inspector General grumbled as he hung up his phone. "It was Janustec," he proimed. "Either that or they all decided to rip out all of their drives and take the day off after convincing a poor xeno that ''Yellowstone, Yellowstone, Yellowstone,'' was theirpany motto."

    ***

    On the other side of the, an older gentleman walked into a room containing arge cardboard box with an electric nket stuffed inside.

    "You ok, little guy?" he asked in a kind voice.

    "Am I in trouble?" a weak voice warbled from underneath the nket.

    "A lot of people are in some very deep shit," the man said with a chuckle, "but I promise that you aren''t one of them."

    "Can I call my mom?"

 Chapter 122: The Morning After Post Mortem Pt 2

    Chapter 122: The Morning After Post Mortem Pt 2

    "So, what about the jail-break?" the Prime Minister asked. "Am I correct in assuming that they are rted?"

    "Almost certainly," Captain Soto replied. "It is almost a certainty that the same ''Reaper'' was used. What few readings we can get match perfectly. We were fortunate, and a sensor operator at the spire was able tounch some recon drones and get them properly oriented before the conclusion of extraction."

    "And who was ''extracted'', again?" Prime Minister Augustine asked as she looked over her notes.

    "Helen Mongrave," Glenn Maxwell replied with a scowl. "Someone highly ced in the conspiracy against the Republic with detailed knowledge of many of her co-conspirators."

    "Yeah," Admiral Pierce snarked, "Gotta hate those conspiracies against the Republic, don''t ya?"

    "Got something to say, Pierce?" Glenn Maxwell snarled, rising to his feet.

    "Not at the moment," Admiral Pierce replied as he started to stand, "<em>When</em> I do, you will be the first person to know, buddy."

    "You will be the second to know," General Litton said as she also rose, "''Cause he''s gonna call me first."

    "The third," a man dressed in a in grey suit said as he started to stand.

    "Sit the <em>fuck</em> down," the prime minister snarled, "and shut the <em>fuck</em> up!"

    Everyone froze. The Prime Minister never cursed, ever.

    They all quietly sat down.

    "I am just about sick and tired of this <em>bullshit</em>," the prime minister ranted. "I have a fucking Republic to hold together, and that''s exactly what I''m going to do even if I have to fire everyone in this fucking room and start over! <em>Understand?</em>"

    "Yes, ma''am," Admiral Pierce said, so cowed that Admiral Saysangkhi started giggling, her giggles freezing in her throat when the Prime Minister turned her withering re in her direction.

    "Now, until <em>someone</em> actually pulls off a coup," she continued. "My wrinkled ass is in charge, and my wrinkled ass takes exception to some <em>bitch</em> blowing up one of <em>my</em> sr systems, regardless of how justified some <em>individuals</em> think she might be."

    She rose to her feet as her voice increased in volume.

    "Now we are here to figure out exactly what the <em>fuck</em> is going on and exactly what the <em>fuck</em> we are going to do about it. The next asshole who sidetracks this discussion or starts a pissing match can put their ID on the desk, take a walk, and keep walking! Got it?"

    Everyone just sat there silently.

    "Good," she said as she sat back down. "Now I understand that two people were ''extracted''?"

    "Yes, ma''am," Glenn said in a very subdued tone. "In addition to Helen Mongrave, a Federation ex-pat named Sheloran was also removed from the detention facility."

    "Sheloran?" the Prime Minister asked. "Why does that name sound familiar?"

    "She went viral, ma''am," Glenn replied. "The singing frog?"

    "Oh!" the Prime Minister smiled. "I loved that! Shame she killed all those people."

    She looked at Glenn in confusion.

    "Why?"

    "We have no idea, but we will find out!"

    "Ahem," the silver-haired woman in the green zer coughed discreetly.

    Glenn red at her.

    "Dibs." the woman smiled.

    ***

    "Ok, let''s put the big tent over here!" Craxina yelled over a cheap electronic megaphone, "and¡­ fuck¡­ put the porta-potties over there!"

    The Drop of Oil parking lot was in a state of barely controlled chaos as a mob of prostitutes, tempbor, and a mob of volunteers all ran about unpacking crates, erecting tents, and assembling furniture.

    "Craxi!"

    "What?" Craxina snapped as she whirled about. "Sorry, Littlefoot, what''s up?"

    "I just got off of the phone with rence," she said. "He is getting a shipment in just for us!"

    "And how much is that gonna cost?" Craxina asked dubiously.

    "Nothing!" Littlefoot replied happily, "Well, nothing until we buy it, just what we want to buy, once we see it."

    "And you didn''t promise him <em>anything</em>?"

    "Well," Littlefoot giggled, "nothing that he wants. He says that he''s happily married!"

    Craxinaughed.

    "He figures that there will be more than a few ''little guys'' wanting weapons, so he''s getting ahead of the demand. He also said that he will hold sses just for us!"

    Craxina looked at Littlefoot suspiciously.

    "Sounds <em>awfully</em> nice of him," Craxina replied. "What''s his angle?"

    "He said that all he wants is first crack at our business, that''s all. No pressure."

    "Hmm," Craxina said after thinking way too hard for herfort, "Ok, first crack but no promises, got it?"

    "Like I said," Littlefoot grinned. "I''ve only promised ONE thing so far, and he wasn''t interested."

    "That just means he''s gonna fuck us harderter on," Craxina grumbled.

    "Nuh-uh! rence is nice! You''ll see!"

    "Yeah," Craxina muttered, "we''ll see."

    "When did you turn into such a sour-snatch?" Littlefoot chided.

    "When I had to be in charge, that''s when!" Craxina snapped. "I miss ONE thing and¡­ poof!" she eximed, throwing all of her arms wide. "It''s all over! You can trust this rence guy if you want to," she ranted, "I <em>can''t</em>! He pulls one bullshit Terran trick, and we are <em>done!</em>"

    "He isn''t like that..." Littlefoot said defensively. "If you don''t trust him, why don''t you send the fish to talk to him?"

    "Oh yeah, our ''friend'' the fish," Craxina said, rolling her eyes.

    "Isn''t he?"

    "Oh, he <em>is</em>," Craxina said sarcastically, "He''s a <em>huge</em> friend with a <em>huge</em> hourly rate! Do you have any idea how deep in the hole I am with him already?"

    "Didn''t he just take a cut?"

    "A cut of what?" Craxina asked, nearly yelling. "A cut of fucking what? Sheloran had that deal because-"

    Craxina suddenly fell silent. Littlefoot, like most of the others, didn''t know about absolutely everything that went on at the Drop.

    "Because of what?" Littlefoot asked suspiciously.

    "Never mind!" Craxina huffed. "Sheloran had that deal. We don''t. We pay by the hour!"

    Craxina winced. They were paying by the hour because she fucked up. Baxlon''s patience was immense but not infinite. He was still their legal counsel, but it was now at his hourly rate, thanks to one "pleeese" too many during the third panickedte-night phone call in a single evening.

    Who knew that Kalent REALLY didn''t like being woken up. Forgive her for not being a xeno-sleepologist!

    "Because of <em>what</em>?" Littlefoot pressed, narrowing her big, innocent-looking eyes. She had always suspected that there was more going on than coffee, hookers, and decade-old games. I mean, who buys games on crystals anyway? That never made any sense.

    "Because of nothing!" Craxina said defensively, crossing her little arms.

    "Look, Craxi," Littlefoot squeaked, "I love you, we all do, but we deserve to know what we are getting into here. If there is something going on that we don''t know about, something that <em>really</em> got the Drop burned down and Ploxni¡­."

    "You got it backwards!" Craxi snapped. "The Drop didn''t get burned down because of Sheloran. It got burned down because of <em>us</em>!"

    Littlefoot recoiled as if she had been struck.

    "What¡­ what do you mean?" she squeaked.

    "Oh shit," Craxina sighed. "Sorry, Littlefoot," she said. "I''m just being a bitch. Forget I said anything."

    "<em>What do you mean it was because of us?</em>"

    "Craxi!" a shaggy ottoman yelled out.

    <em>Thank the Creators!</em>

    "Ommuni!" Craxi yelled out in relief as she ran at a full sprint towards her (and away from Littlefoot).

    "Wait!!!" Littlefoot shouted after her as she waddled urgently in pursuit.

    ***

    "Well, <em>hello</em> there!" Craxina said with a huge smile.

    Standing in front of her was the cutest human she had ever seen!

    "Um, hi," he said sheepishly, nervously running his fingers through the cutest poofiest hair! The way it was cut made it look almost like a male of her species! So cute!

    He smiled. Oh, my Creators! He had the cutest <em>teeth</em>. They were shiny and pointy, just like a male''s! Of course, they were fake, but the way he smiled and cocked his head sent little tingles shooting through her happy ces!

    "He asked for you specifically!" Ommuni said. "Are you ''working''?"

    "I am now!" Craxina eximed with a happy little squeak. "C''mon!" she enthused as she grabbed his hand and dragged him towards one of the tents.

    ***

    "Wow!" Craxina purred as she snuggled with Bryce (that was his name) a littleter, "I should be paying you!"

    "Aww," he smiled, shing those adorable teeth, "Thanks!"

    "Look!" she said, caressing his face with her tail, "my fur is still standing on end! That was <em>amazing</em>!"

    Bryce just smiled and stroked her fur.

    "Oooh!" she crooned.

    Bryce looked down at her with concern.

    "Your muscles are in a state!" he said as the stroking turned into a massage.

    "Oh! Oh yes! Right there! Ooooh!"

    "You have so much tension locked in there," he said as he expertly massaged her back, gently applying pressure to key points, causing immediate rxation.

    "It''s because of all of this bullshit," she mumbled dreamily. She hadn''t been this rxed in ages.

    "Bullshit?"

    "Oh, Bryce," Craxina mumbled, "It''s been awful¡­ I''ve mmmmh¡­ I''ve had to¡­."

    "Because of all the drama?"

    "Drama isn''t the word for it," she muttered as her eyes drifted closed. "It''s been horrible, with the Harkeen and Sheloran¡­ Oh Creators, Sheloran, what she did¡­ and now I''m all alone and everyone¡­ everyone¡­."

    "Yeah, I saw that on the news," Bryce smiled as one of his hands drifted up and started massaging her neck, his fingers gently resting on key muscle groups. "She ran the ce, didn''t she?"

    "Yeah," Craxina mumbled with a blissful smile, "The Drop was her baby, I¡­ I just¡­ whimper..."

    "What?"

    Craxina started to quietly weep.

    "I just fucked it all up!" she sobbed.

    "Hey¡­ Hey¡­" Bryce said, reassuring her as he swept her up in his arms, his hand still on her neck. "Shhh¡­ It''s ok¡­."

    "No, it isn''t!" Craxina said as she clung to him. "If I hadn''t made her let me work here, then she would have just been selling media and coffee. I¡­ I..."

    "Shhh," Bryce said, stroking her head, "From what the news said, it was the loans that set them off, not you girls."

    "Yeah, but they were already..."

    "From the sound of it," he said as he kissed her, "She would have gotten involved no matter what. If it wasn''t you, it would have been someone. She seems like a really good person."

    "Oh, she <em>is</em>," Craxina said, calming down a little. "She is the bestest person I know! And generous and brave! Oh, Creators, she is so brave! She would go anywhere, square off against anyone, to help out one of the girls!"

    "So..." Bryce said as he gently stroked her neck, his fingers carefully resting on pulse points, "have you heard from her since, you know,"

    "No," Craxina replied, "you know how hard it is to get to a phone in a normal jail. I can only imagine how hard it is where¡­ where she is."

    "Huh," he said as he carefully read her body, "Has anyone heard from her? Is she ok?"

    "Oh, she''s freaked out about her case," Craxina replied, melting into him, "but Baxlon says that she''s ok."

    "So this Baxlon person has talked to her?"

    "Yeah, but he says that he couldn''t get through to herst time he tried. They said she was unavable," Craxina mumbled as Bryce carefully maneuvered her back onto the mattress, "Boy was he pissed off about that¡­ Oh yes! Right there!"

    "So Baxlon <em>hasn''t</em> heard from her recently?"

    "Well, not since we stopped talking anyway, the asshole..." she sighed as her whole body rxed. This was wonderful.

    "You aren''t talking?"

    "Yeah, I pissed him off."

    "Sounds like an asshole," he smiled as he stroked her.

    "Ooooh," Craxina purred, "(giggle) Yeah, he''s an asshole, but I really fucked up. I¡­ I really don''t know what I''m doing, and I guess I called him one time too many."

    "Well, it sucks being alone," he said.

    "Yeah," Craxina sighed sadly.

    "Um..." Bryce said nervously as he rolled her over onto her back and started to gently caress her body, "I hope I''m not being one of ''those guys'', but I''m in town for a while, and I''m alone too, and I was wondering if¡­ um¡­ I mean if it¡­ (sigh)¡­ Sorry¡­ I don''t mean to assume."

    He cocked his head, shing those darling teeth in a sheepish grin.

    "No!" Craxina said, sitting up rapidly, "it''s ok! What were you wondering?"

    "I mean, if you want, maybe¡­ maybe we could go have some dinnerter?-- I''d pay you! I mean, I don''t want to¡­ shit..."

    "That would be great!" Craxina squeaked, "And you don''t have to pay me..."

    she shed him a flirtatious nce.

    "If you are paying for dinner, of course!"

    "Oh! Great! Absolutely! (giggle)" he covered his face as his eyes smiled, just like a nervous male!

    It was so <em>adorable</em>!

    Craxina threw her arms around him, nuzzling his neck happily.

    She shed him a wicked smile.

    "You know, you did pay for the hour..."

    ***

    "We are talking in circles," the Prime Minister said in frustration.

    "Yeah," General Litton agreed, "It was better when we were fighting. At least that wasn''t depressing."

    "So, does <em>anyone</em> have any idea what we can do besides hope she runs out of missiles?"

    "She won''t," a grey-haired, heavily-decorated naval captain said, speaking for the first time.

    "You say that like you''re sure," Glenn Maxwell said.

    "I know the woman," he said. "If she can get a dozen nukes, she can get two dozen. If she can get two dozen, then she can get a hundred. And if she can afford whatever that fucking Reaper costs, she can afford two hundred. If Gloria Samuels hase to y, she hase to <em>y</em>. She has sufficient munitions to aplish her'' mission''. Count on it."

    "All of us know this gentleman," Admiral Saysangkhi said after he finished speaking, "But in case you don''t, Captain Bartoszmanded a Stiletto in the same task force as Lieutenant Samuels during the Federation War. He is to the Stiletto what Gloria Samuels is to the Reaper. We brought him because if anyone has a shot at bringing her down, it''s him."

    "And how are you going to do that?" Glenn Maxwell asked the captain.

    "I''ve been looking over the data while all of you have been pping your gums and pissing all over each other," the captain said, looking at his tablet, "and one thing is crystal clear."

    "And that is?" Glenn sneered.

    "She has better intel than we do."

    "What?"

    "Her targets weren''t random. For example, her first target, Depot 23, a small warehouse and refueling center, right?"

    He patched into the room''s main holographic disy.

    "Wrong," he said as scans of the aftermath were disyed. "That asteroid was <em>hollow</em> and loaded down with all sorts of shit..."

    A table of elements started to appear as well as an analysis of what few fragments remained.

    "Including plutonium and other things that clearly indicate more than one nuclear weapon. That old ''refinery''?"

    Another image appeared.

    "Loaded down with isotopes indicative of advanced projectiles and a lot of what was probably living organic material. The debris field is a fucking cloud of CHNOPS. Unless Patricia was farming cattle on the sly, hundreds of people were in there when it blew."

    "Jesus," Glenn muttered.

    "The rest of the stationary targets are the same. Nothing in the smudges left matches what Red Phoenix says was there."

    "He looked at the group."

    "Looks like Samuels went after those stockpiles Wintersmith wrote about. Hard to say for sure, of course, but I can say with confidence that she <em>knew</em> exactly what she was going after. And, as long as she knows what she is going after and we <em>don''t</em>, we will never catch her. The only thing that can be done is for Patricia Hu to tell us, exactly, where her ''special instations'' are and which ships would be of interest to Samuels. If we know what Samuels does, then we can cover those assets with our fleet."

    He looked over at Glenn Maxwell, and several others with a wicked predatory smile.

    "Patricia Hu can either deal with us, or she can deal with <em>her</em>."

    ***

    As the meeting wound down and everyone was gathering their tablets and other materials, the Prime Minister rose.

    "General Litton," she said in a stern voice. "A moment of your time."

    "Oooh! You in trouble!" Admiral Pierce said, elbowing her.

    "You can remain as well."

    He looked crestfallen.

    After everyone else had left, Kara Litton smiled at the Prime Minister.

    "Did I spread it on too thick?"

    "No," Augustine smiled. "It was perfect. So, did you get it?"

    "I got what you need right here, baby," Kara leered as she unzipped her uniform trousers¡­

    And pulled out a data cable with a crystal attached.

    "You might want to use gloves," Karaughed as she removed the crystal and tossed it to the Prime Minister, who reluctantly caught it.

    "Gross," the Prime Ministerughed as she pocketed the crystal.

    "I got them all," Kara Litton grinned as she rammed her fist into her metal leg.

    "Now what, boss?" Admiral Pierce asked.

    "Now we run these scans past our people, find out who has the taint, and add them to the list," the Prime Minister said, her grandmotherly visage subtly shifting into something far more sinister. "We will only get one shot to do this clean."

    "My people are ready," General Litton said calmly, "Just say the word, and the knives fall."

    "So," Admiral Pierce asked, "what are we <em>really</em> going to do about Samuels?"

    "Once a dog has tasted human flesh, there is only one thing you can do," the Prime Minister said calmly, "Kill her."

    "Yes, ma''am. I''ll unleash the ''hounds''," Admiral Pierce replied.

    "Sorry, Pierce," the Prime Minister said.

    "Are you?"

    ***

    Admiral Pierce returned to his office and slumped into his chair with a sigh.

    This sucked.

    Lieutenant Samuels literally saved the day, did what nobody else could (or would) do.

    And what was her reward?

    Death.

    That is if they could get her.

    He smiled. That was a big if.

    Then he frowned.

    He knew the Prime Minister pretty well. There was something she wasn''t telling him, likely the real reason she wanted Samuels dead. It didn''t add up. She was on <em>their side</em>. They should be feeding her intel, not setting loose the hounds.

    He picked up his phone.

    "Captain Soto, could you pleasee by my office. There is something I need to discuss with you privately."

    ***

    Admiral Saysangkhi was going over the scans from the Barnard''s Star attacks. That asshole Bartosz made her look like a chump in front of the Prime Minister and everyone else.

    She wasn''t going to get caught napping again!

    Her desktop pinged. She looked at the screen and squealed with delight.

    She rapidly started typing.

    Momentster, a Careel in an Imperial Naval uniform appeared on her screen.

    "<em>Admiral!</em>" the Imperial Lieutenant Commander eximed in surprise. "You have reached the Nova-Rutter-Rampant! How may I help you, ma''am?"

    "Commander," Admiral Saysangkhi said cheerfully. "Put me through to Captain Belxania!"

    "I shall inform <em>Dame</em> Belxania immediately! One moment please, Admiral!"

    Momentster, an exceptionally fluffy Careel in aically ornate uniform appeared.

    "<em>Dame</em> Belxania!" Admiral Saysangkhi said, jumping up and then bowing in Imperial fashion.

    "<em>Admiral</em> SangSang!" the Careel said as they rigidly snapped to attention and saluted.

    They both giggled.

    "It''s great to see you again!" Admiral Saysangkhi said after they both stoppedughing at each other. "Congrats on the knighthood!"

    "Thanks!" the Careel said. "It was the Battle of Vgyyx that did it."

    "That clusterfuck?"

    The Careel giggled.

    "Yeah," she said with augh, "Creators! What is that perfect Terran phrase? Shit-show! Yes! That shit-show!"

    "I thought you were out of your mind, charging the line in a fucking troop transport!"

    "Saved your cute little ass, didn''t it?"

    "Only because the bug ran because they thought you were a dreadnought!"

    They bothughed again.

    "So, what brings you to Sol?"

    The Careel giggled.

    "You aren''t going to believe this one..."

    ***

    Craxina danced from crisis to crisis, hugging workers and kissing contractors with a happy little giggle.

    It was infectious. The whole parking lot was just buzzing with excitement.

    "What''s gotten into her?" a quadruped asked.

    "A dick, what else?" Littlefoot snickered. "She has a dateter too!"

    "Like for free?" the pony-thing asked in surprise.

    "Apparently," Littlefootughed.

    "Well, good for her!" the pony-thingughed. "And for us. She was turning into a <em>bitch</em>!"

    Craxina swooshed in, jumping on the pony-thing''s back and hugging her.

    "I heard that!" she giggled and looked up.

    "No! Not there!" Craxina shouted as she jumped off of the pony and scampered off. "There!"

    Craxina stopped mid-scamper as a blue grav-hatchbacknded.

    All the happy drained away as her expression scrunched up in a serious little growly-face.

    The hatchback opened, and a Kalent bot mbered out.

    "Baxlon," she said frostily as she approached. "I didn''t call you. I''m not paying!"

    "And I''m not charging," he said as he walked up. "Your phone is dead."

    "Is it?" she said in confusion as she pulled it out. "I just charged itst week!"

    "Well, change the battery!" he said. "You missed an important call. Ploxni is awake!"

    "She is?!?!" Craxina squealed, throwing herself upon the bot.

    "Yep, came to four hours ago," Baxlon replied. "And they say while it may take a while, she will likely recover with only minor issues if any¡­ And she said yes, by the way. She and Dave are officially engaged."

    "Woo!" Craxina screeched. "Guys! Ploxni and Dave are engaged!!! Baxlon, turn on your speaker thingy!"

    "(sigh)¡­ fine¡­ (''click'')"

    "PLOXNI IS AWAKE!!!" echoed across the neighborhood. "AND SHE AND DAVE ARE ENGAGED!!! THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!"

    Cheers broke out across the parking lot (and the neighborhood).

    "And I finished all the bullshit so you guys can operate as an independent whorery," Baxlon said with a little bubble.

    "Oh, thanks," Craxina said, "¡­ and how much do I owe you for that?" she added, scrunching her eyes closed as she braced herself.

    "(sigh) Do you PROMISE not to call me at two in the fucking morning when it isn''t an emergency, and I mean a REAL one?"

    Craxina lit up like Christmas!

    "YES! Yes, yes yes yes yes yes ye-"

    "I get the message," Baxlonughed, cutting her off. "We will continue the deal that Sheloran and I made at least until things settle down. We can look at things once we get the insurance payoff and you back into a real building instead of this... What do they call it?"

    "A circus!" Craxina eximed as she climbed up on his back. ¡°Do-do do de doot de doot duu doo doo!¡±

    "Get off!" Baxlonughed.

    "...awooo¡­ awooo..."

    Craxina''s ears shot up.

    "Awoo?" she replied.

    "Awoooo!¡­. Awoooo!" came echoing down the street.

    "Awooo!" Craxina howled, majestically perched on top of Baxlon as if he was a strenuously objecting mountain peak, "Awoooooooo!"

    "Awoooooo! AWOOOOOO!"

    The howling got louder as Craxina started jumping up and down on top of Baxlon, who was unsessfully trying to throw her off.

    Two exotic-looking transports pulled into view, packed solid with howling, baying Careel!

    "Craxina!" came an excited howl as one of them lept from a still-moving vehicle!

    "Grwwlf!" Craxina squealed as she was knocked off of Baxlon''s back and tackled to the ground in a joyous pile.

    Baxlon just stood there inplete shock as a tidal wave of fur, ears, and tails belched forth and covered both Craxina and her brother in a pile of yips and "awoo''s".

    "What the <em>fuck</em>?" he eventually bubbled.

    ***

    Bryce smiled as a Kalesha waitress set down his coffee.

    "Thank you!" he said brightly.

    The kalesha beamed back at him. She couldn''t help it. The way he sat so straight and the way he held himself¡­

    And that scrunched mouth! So cute!

    It was almost as if he was a¡­ Christ, she needed to get a boyfriend. Even humans were starting to look good!

    "E-enjoy your coffee, sir," she said before rushing away, blushing.

    He sipped the coffee, savoring it. This was the good stuff. It wasn''t that his usual fare was bad¡­

    This was just better.

    He pulled out hismunicator.

    A logo appeared on the screen.

    "Hayden Pharma," a synthetic voice answered. "You are thirty-eight secondste for your check-in. I am required to file an incident report as per-"

    "Hi Tart," he said as he nibbled a biscuit. "I apologize for interrupting, but I would prefer the report of your report submitted to my inbox using form 114-15K."

    Tartarus made a happy little noise.

 Chapter 123: A Sneks Fate

    Chapter 123: A Snek''s Fate

    Gavin put down the welder and stood up, stretching his back.

    He triggered the scanner in his welding helmet, surveyed his work, and smiled. It wasn''t half bad if he said so himself.

    He raised his helmet and stepped back to admire one "120-millimeter rifled re projector with stabilized vehicr mount".

    "I wonder who''s into antiques," a voice said behind him.

    He turned around and smiled.

    "No idea," he replied to the short, stocky Native-American woman behind him. "For what they are paying, they could get real shit."

    "Probably some xeno or another," the woman said as she lounged against the one she was working on. "That whole ''Terran mystique'' bullshit."

    "There are some advantages to these," Gavin said thoughtfully. "They want them pure electro-mechanical, much easier to conceal. Tuck them inside a crawler, and they''d just look like part of the machinery unless someone knew exactly what to look for¡­ And you can''t beat the price, at least for the guns."

    "Think we''re supplying rebels or something?"

    "Considering who ordered these," Gavin chuckled, "That would be the cleanest option. Speaking of," he added. "I need to give Esmeralda a call. We''re just about done."

    "I have some lotion in my purse if you need to borrow it," the woman said with a smirk.

    "You admire coral snakes," Gavin snerked, "You don''t touch them or yourself when handling one."

    Laughing, he turned and walked across the floor of his small "custom manufacturing facility", asionally pausing to chat with a worker or two.

    When he got into his office, he paused at a mirror, pulled out ab, ran it through his long straight ck hair, and put on his trademark cowboy hat.

    After he spruced himself up to his satisfaction, he sat down in front of his monitor.

    Momentster, he blinked in surprise as the oddest little snake-like xeno appeared.

    "Good morning! Wee to Janustec!" it said, absolutely bursting with enthusiasm, "where our motto is, ''Yellowstone, Yellowstone, Yellowstone!''¡­ Yay!"

    <em>Well¡­ shit.</em>

    "And good morning to you too!" Gavin replied, a smile starting to creep across his face. "I was hoping to speak with Ms. Martinez, but I suppose she''s ''unavable'', isn''t she."

    "My <em>boss</em>?" the xeno said, glowing with pride. "Yes, she and the rest of the office are busy with the GTFOD. Can I take a message?"

    Gavin snorted.

    "Yeah, those GTFOD''s can get kind of hectic," he smiled. "It probably doesn''t matter anymore, but let her know that we are almost finished with her order but, considering recent developments, we aren''t going to deliver. If they want them, they are going to have to pick them up¡­ annnnd we will be expecting payment up front."

    "¡­ and paymenth up fronth¡­" the little snek lisped around its tongue as it typed furiously with it. "Goth ith!"

    It looked up at Gavin with eyes that almost glowed with happiness.

    <em>Esmeralda, you bitch, </em>Gavin thought with irritation.

    "So, first day?" Gavin asked with pity in his eyes.

    "Yesth!" the snek lisped as it pressed the "Send" icon. "I applied just this morning! First applicant! Ms. Martinez just took one look at me and said, ''Good enough!'' and hired me on the spot!"

    "Well, your luck is certainly¡­ something," Gavin replied.

    "Yes! I''m so blessed!" the snek warbled, "I was starting to think things weren''t going to work out for me here in the Republic, but here I am!"

    "Yep, there you are¡­ You are most certainly¡­ <em>There</em>¡­ Well, It''s been nice chatting with you, but I suddenly have a whole lot of very time-sensitive things to do."

    "It was lovely talking to you too!" the snek warbled. "You have a Yellowstone kind of day!"

    "<strong>Snerk</strong>¡­ Oh, I''m pretty sure I will," Gavin snorted as he pulled up hiswyer''s contact info on his second monitor. "You too!¡­ <em>snerk</em>."

    "Thanks!" the snek warbled happily as Gavin terminated the call¡­

    And immediately called his attorney.

    ***

    Later that day, Jeruzz curled up in a loose coil in the bottom of his box as he chewed on his tail miserably. The warmth from the wonderful nket he bought at what the Terrans call a "garage sale" provided nofort today.

    He thought that he had a job, a real job.

    He thought that, finally, he had found somece where he was "good enough". They said so! They said those exact words, "good enough".

    It had made him so happy¡­

    So¡­ happy¡­

    But it was a lie, a mean lie. He wasn''t "good enough". He was just a convenient stupid little xeno who didn''t even know what "Yellowstone" meant.

    Creators! He was so stupid! How could he not have known? It wasn''t as if it was the single biggest defining moment in Terran history or anything.

    They even took his "signing bonus". They said that they would give it back when they were done with their investigation, but even he wasn''t dumb enough to actually believe that. Back home, when the cops took something, that was it.

    You never saw it again.

    He had no job and no money. It was just like it was yesterday.

    It didn''t bother him yesterday, but today it hurt. It hurt really bad. All the happiness and all the pride he felt earlier was just a cruel hoax.

    He started to quietly sob, making little coughing, barking noises as he chewed his tail in the darkness.

    ***

    "Thank you foring in," an older human said as he rose and extended his hand.

    "Not a problem," Gavin replied as he stood and shook his interrogator''s hand. "I figured I would save you the trip."

    "I would like it noted that Mr. Richardson has cooperated fully and of his own free will," a stern-faced raven-haired young woman said.

    "Of course," the interrogator said with a smile. "And we appreciate his cooperation and his transparency. We have no further questions at this time, but we would appreciate it if Mr. Richardson was avable should we have any additional questions in the future."

    "Naturally," Gavin replied. "Janustec <em>was</em> a good customer, but I don''t owe them a goddamn thing, especially after what they did to that little xeno dude."

    "Yeah, that was pretty shitty," the interrogator said. "poor little guy."

    "He have awyer?" Gavin asked as he reached for his hat.

    "No," the interrogator smiled, "not that he needs one."

    "Well, he does now."

    "Is my client here?" the woman asked.

    "Only until he gets back on his feet, not that he has those," the interrogator replied. "He''s hiding in one of the interview rooms until hees out."

    "Comes out?" the woman asked, raising her eyebrow. "Take me to him."

    "Sure," the interrogator said, "I was about to check on him anyway."

    ***

    "We checked with Starshield," the interrogator said as they reached a darkened room. "They said that this is normal for one of them after receiving a shock and that he wille out when he is ready. They are kind of like cats, I guess."

    He opened the door.

    "You have him in a <em>box</em>?" thewyer asked usingly.

    "Hey!" the interrogator said defensively, "It''s <em>his</em> box! We recovered it along with the rest of his possessions¡­ if you can call them that," he said as he gestured towards a meager pile of rubbish.

    "That''s<em> it?</em>"

    "Yep," the interrogator replied. "Everything he has in this world is right there, poor thing. He was living in a two-bedroom apartment with fourteen other xenos. Thatndlord has a little bit of exining to do, by the way."

    "So, he''s homeless?" the attorney asked.

    "Unfortunately," the interrogator replied. "The whole building was one giant fire and health code vition."

    "Homeless, and you''ve taken what little payment he received?" she asked usingly.

    "''What little payment'' my ass!" the interrogatorughed.

    "And when, exactly, can my client expect the return of his property?"

    "Normally, it wouldn''t be until we finish our investigation," the interrogator replied.

    "Uneptable."

    "I said ''normally''," the man smiled. "Once we finish chewing on the numbers, I''m sure that we won''t have a problem transferring the currency. I''ve already submitted a hardship request on the little guy''s behalf."

    "I would appreciate it if you-ed me on that."

    "Not a problem."

    As the interrogator and thewyer droned on, Gavin knelt down beside the box, admiring the intricate patterns of adhesive tape and piercings that adorned the sides.

    <em>Hmm...</em> Gavin pondered.

    "You in there?" he asked.

    "...yes..." came a sad, quiet reply.

    "We met earlier today on the," Gavin said gently. "I don''t want to rush you, but I was wondering if you would like to have lunch..."

    ***

    A few hourster, a still somewhat stunned Jeruzz found himself sitting across from Gavin as a huge tter of sushi was ced on the table.

    It was so pretty!

    "You don''t like sushi?" Gavin said a few momentster. "They have other stuff on the menu."

    "No, it looks wonderful!" Jeruzz said, his eyes glittering. "I am looking forward to my portion!"

    "Your portion?"

    "After you''re done," Jeruzz said with a happy warble.

    "Your portion is right there!" Gavinughed as he filled his te. "We eat together here."

    Jeruzz''s tongue hovered over the tter. Creators! He didn''t know what to try first! Eventually, he picked up a piece of salmon nigiri and drew it into his mouth.

    His eyes glittered.

    It was <em>amazing</em>!

    "Here, dip it in this," Gavin said as he poured some soy sauce into a small dish.

    It was even better!

    "So, I guess you are wondering why I invited you to lunch," Gavin said a little whileter.

    "I admit I''m confused," Jeruzz replied as hepped up some tea. "But this whole day has been so Yellowstoned-up that I''ve given up trying to understand what''s going on."

    Gavinughed.

    "Fair enough," he replied. "Well, aside from misery lovingpany, there is a reason."

    Jeruzz looked at him quizzically.

    "I understand that you are no longer employed by Janustec?"

    "If I still am, <em>I quit!!!</em>" Jeruzz said loud enough for nearby diners to turn their heads.

    Gavinughed.

    "In that case, I would like to offer you a job."

    "You would?!?"

    "I like your style. I want you toe to work for me."

    Jeruzz''s heart soared¡­

    Then it sank.

    "I would love to," he said sadly.

    "But?"

    "¡­ I don''t¡­ I don''t have my certificate."

    "Neither do I," Gavin smiled.

    Jeruzz looked at him inplete bewilderment.

    "It''s true," Gavin chuckled. "I dropped out."

    "Wha?" Jeruzz stammered. "Why?!? Why would you refuse such a gift?" he asked, shocked, almost angry at the thought of someone casting aside something as priceless as a Terran education.

    "I was losing too much business," Gavin replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "Weaponsmithing is a family art, and I was making more out of my parent''s garage than I would with that diploma. I got tired of turning away orders. I promised my folks I''d get my certificate, but I never got around to it¡ªToo busy."

    Gavin smiled at Jeruzz.

    "Education is great, don''t get me wrong," he said, "but certificates and degrees are a fucking dime a dozen here. Certificates aremon. Attitude isn''t. Neither is <em>ability</em>. I saw your box. That was nice work, very nice work. How did youy out those patterns? Dividers?"

    "I¡­ I used a nail and some string¡­ with knots in it," Jeruzz replied.

    "That would work," Gavin replied as he nodded thoughtfully. "There are better ways to do it, though."

    "There are?" Jeruzz asked, quite interested.

    Gavin leaned forward.

    "Would you like to learn them?"

    Jeruzz nodded.

    "You willing to work?"

    Jeruzz nodded rapidly.

    "You willing to learn?"

    Jeruzz bobbed up and down emphatically.

    "You willing to sweep floors and empty trash cans with the same energy you answered those phones this morning while you learn a real trade?"

    "YES!!!" Jeruzz warbled, bringing the whole restaurant to a standstill.

    "Then you''re hired."

    ***

    The next week Jeruzz''s new foreman looked down at him andughed.

    "You going to be ok, String-bean?"

    Jeruzz looked up as hey on the floor in a loose tangle.

    "This¡­ this is just for the <em>week</em>?" he asked in a stunned warble.

    "I know you''re disappointed," the foreman grinned, "But you only clocked in for a couple of days. You will get a full paycheck next Friday."

    "<em>A full paycheck?!?</em>" Jeruzz gasped.

    "Work like a Terran," his foreman said with a smile, "Get paid like one. Be sure to get some rest this weekend," his foreman added. "That Z''uush that dropped by just ced a huge order. Get ready for some serious overtime."

    "What''s overtime?" Jeruzz asked.

    The foremanughed.

    "Good thing you are alreadyying down..."

 Chapter 124: Whats Going on in the Federation Pt 1 Jessica Morgan and Gwen the Elder

    Chapter 124: What''s Going on in the Federation Pt 1 Jessica Morgan and Gwen the Elder

    Jessica Morgan smiled pleasantly at the wrinkled, tear-streaked face of Gwendolyn Shay the Elder.

    "You <em>bitch</em>!" Gwen snarled.

    "I think your anger might be just a little misced," Jessica replied as she sipped a cup of tea. "Did I allow your great-granddaughter to enter an unshielded observation chamber? No. Do I even have such abominations on my ships? No. Was I so stoned as to not even notice it happened? Again, the answer would be no."

    Jessica leaned back in herfy chair, a far cry from the golden throne of legend.

    "Jesus, Gwen, putting your nine-year-old great-grandchild into a fucking hyperspace torture chamber? Even I haven''t done something that fucked up, and I poisoned half my goddamn family."

    "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO HER!" Gwen screamed.

    "Now, that is an excellent question," Jessica replied in a calm and pleasant voice. "To fully answer that I''m going to have to do that thing you hate almost as much as you hate me, answer your question with one of my own. Do you know how many species can survive unprotected contact with hyperspace?"

    Gwen just red at the screen, tears staining her cheeks. To say she hadn''t taken the information concerning her "Baby Doll''s" new captain and crew very well was an understatement.

    They had just a tiny bit of a reputation.

    Jessica sighed.

    "I hate answering myself," she said, setting down her priceless ancient Corelle teacup onto its equally priceless matching saucer. "There are three species that can <em>look</em> at hyperspace without damage, the Kalent, the Ykeen, and the Voo, a rather insignificant race of little space nomads that roam the fringes of civilized space. They are cute little things, as nice as can be, and they sell the most interesting things sometimes. They are on the protected list, by the way, but I digress."

    Jessica smiled.

    "But," she continued, "species that can actually <em>touch</em> hyperspace and be touched in return? Zero. In fact, the entire gxy believes it to be impossible. Your great-grandchild is very, very special, Gwen. She is one of an extremely small number of <em>humans</em> that can."

    Gwen''s eyes cleared as she looked at the screen in shock.

    "That''s right, Gwen," Jessica smiled as Terrence appeared in the frame to refill her cup. "Thank you, Terrence," she said as she took the cup from him. "Your baby doll is not unique," she said as she returned her gaze to Gwen. "She''s impossibly rare, so rare that we don''t even have a good idea of how infrequent the mutation is¡­ or if, in fact, it is a mutation at all. To be honest, we still don''t have any idea how they do it. All we know for sure is that they can and that <em>we</em> are the only people who have these individuals at all. I''ve checked."

    She took a sip.

    "And by <em>we</em>, I mean us, the porkies. Not only do the Republic and Empire not have these people, they don''t, to the best of my knowledge, even believe that they exist."

    "But..." Gwen started.

    "As far as your darling little angel is concerned, the Republic believes that the shields and shutters were in ce and that the whole thing is a hoax you perpetrated in order to give the child some mystique to strengthen her chances at seeding you when the timees."

    "That''s stupid," Gwen replied. "It would do the opposite. My people think she''s cursed, a beacon for¡­ something¡­ <em>Things happened</em>¡­"

    "What''s more believable," Jessica asked, "the convenient narrative I presented them or the actual <em>truth</em>? Even you refused to believe it, and you were actually there¡­ until those <em>things</em> you mentioned, but we are getting off track."

    Jessica paused and took a sip.

    "I believe that Baby Gwen and those like her are the next step in the evolution of mankind, a step that <em>we</em> have taken first and that, just like every other such advance, will ultimately dominate our species. Your great-granddaughter is one of the crown princesses of that new humanity. So you can rest assured that I have absolutely no ill-intentions towards her. In fact, if I had my way, I would wrap her with kic buffer tape, set her up in a fucking mansion, get her and the rest of them together on the weekends and pay them by the kid."

    "So why don''t you?"

    "Because I <em>can''t</em>," Jessicaughed. "It''s impossible. The void calls to them. <em>Hyperspace</em> wants them, and they <em>want</em> it. They will do anything, and I mean <em>anything</em>, in order to get their next ''fix'', and if they can''t, it gets ugly, very ugly, and so do they. The only thing I or anyone else can do is try to keep them from killing themselves and everyone around them when they do what they <em>will do</em>. Even so, keeping them alive is quite the challenge. As of now, only three still live, including the beautiful young Gwen."

    Jessica sighed made a rueful little smile.

    "Hopefully, the lessons we learned with thest ones will keep us, or more precisely her, from repeating her predecessors'' rather unpleasant mistakes. I <em>might</em> be able to keep her alive. You <em>can''t</em>. Aside from their fondness for open-ended jumps into hyperspace or otherwise blowing themselves up, they tend to be¡­ well..."

    Jessica''s smile turned from rueful to malevolent.

    "Let''s just say that your little firecracker is the kindest and most gentle of them thus far. People think that <em>we</em> are monsters? Compared to the humanity that is toe, we are fucking Starshield. We, and the rest of our species, had to <em>adapt</em> to Yellowstone and the delightful gxy that we have found ourselves. They?"

    Jessica chuckled.

    "They''ve <em>evolved</em>."

    Gwen couldn''t help but shudder.

    "And," Jessica continued, her voice rising in excitement, "if they can manage to establish the tiniest toehold, the smallest viable poption, they will do the gxy what we did to fucking <em>Earth</em>!"

    She took a moment to collect herself.

    "I believe this to be our most important, most sacred, duty. You are quite literally one of the mothers of the new children of man. You have no idea how much I envy you, Gwen. Your line will endure. Your genes will be carried into whatever future awaits us. No," Jessica said, her eyes starting to burn with what almost looked like religious fervor, "<em>The future awaits your children.</em>"

    Jessica took a deep breath, and the unholy light faded from her eyes.

    "So, no, Gwen," she said with that fucking soulless smile of hers, "I have no nefarious ns where young Gwen is concerned. I honestly only have her best interests at heart. I want nothing more than for her to thrive and hopefully survive long enough to find herself someone she finds suitable and reproduce."

    "You ain''t turning my Baby Doll into a fucking whore breeder!"

    "Absolutely not!" Jessica eximed. "For one thing, I have absolutely no idea what causes this. I don''t even know <em>how</em> to breed it, and the poption is far too small to crossbreed. Besides, if you studied history, which would require you actually reading a book, you would know that eugenics and even gic tampering have never worked out well for us. We''ve been taught that lesson plenty, and I''m not repeating that history if I can help it. No, for now, I watch, and when I find one, I grab them and try to properly train and equip them so that they are as ''fit'' as they can be, which is what I am now doing with Gwen."

    "But why Marakovich?" Gwen asked. "Why <em>him</em>?"

    "Because he is already familiar with the situation and how to deal with them," Jessica replied in a matter-of-fact manner. "And he swore to me over his son''s memorial that he would not fail again. Unfortunately, it was just a memorial. We were unable to recover his body."

    "His son?"

    "He has also been ''blessed'' by the arrival of one of these heralds of what is toe," Jessica said. "Twice. The first one was his granddaughter, one of the first, and we barely had time to realize what we were dealing with before she went¡­ well, it went <em>very</em> badly. She was one of the ones we tried to ''lock up''. She killed many people before bashing her own brains out against a steel wall. His great-grandson did better, but he was ''imperfect'' and eventually sumbed to what they refer to as ''the call''. He literally spaced himself mid-jump."

    "Jesus fucking Christ!" Gwen shouted, "and you are trusting <em>Marakovich</em> with my baby?!?"

    "He has more first-hand experience than almost anyone, and he won''t be alone," Jessica replied. "There will be a few specialists on hand to assist, and we <em>need</em> someone like him to keep your ''baby'' in line. You have done an inconveniently great job of training that little demon. I need someone who can subdue her without breaking her as her captain. Don''t worry," Jessica said. "Marakovich works for <em>me</em> now. Considering the value I ce on Gwen, you can rest assured I have put the best people that exist near her. Gwen, she''s¡­."

    Jessica sighed.

    "She''s the most'' perfect'' one I''ve ever seen, the mostplete, the sanest¡­ the <em>fittest</em> example yet! Gwen, your ''little baby'' means more to me than you can possibly imagine. She''s not only survived longer than anyone post initial exposure, she''s <em>thrived</em>! I''m not going to lie to you. Nothing is certain when dealing with these individuals, but I have three breathing at the same time now. I honestly believe I''m her best shot, and if I didn''t, I would send her to whoever was. That''s how important she is."

    Jessica smiled in a friendly way at Gwen.

    "Hell, I would even leave her with <em>you</em>."

    Gwen just sighed and hung her head.

    "But why did it have to be <em>her</em>?"

    "The same reason why Yellowstone blew," Jessica said sadly, "the same reason why so many lost so much, the same reason why you lost your first baby, the one that Gwen was supposed to rece..."

    Jessica''s eyes grew hard.

    "It''s because God hates us. But Gwen will be part of the de we plunge right into his fucking heart!"

    She smiled, her eyes shining with pure hatred.

    "She will rip God''s favorite children from his arms, just like he did ours, like he did <em>yours</em>, and, with the fangs you gave her, feast upon them as he weeps the same tears we did."

    Gwen the elder''s eyes shone with the same unholy light.

    "She is something, isn''t she?" Gwen asked with pride. "Did you see hernd on that fuckin'' egg?"

    ***

    When the transmission ended, Jessica slumped into her chair with a relieved sigh.

    That went much better than she feared. Not only did she prevent a rift with The Angels, but she actually managed to bring Gwen on board with the whole thing.

    Agreeing to let that old fiend send along one of her people to keep an eye on things was a small price to pay. Not all of The Angels wereplete animals. In fact, "Bloody Arissia" was far more stable and reasonable than her name implied.

    Besides, matchmaking was one of her hobbies. Arissia and Boris would make the cutest couple. Boris really needed someone ever since his wife passed, and Arissia would be perfect!

    She had noticed them checking each other out before. Granted, that was more than a few decades ago, but still¡­

    Her antique desktop pinged.

    It was a message from Gordon!

    A smile yed across her lips, but it soon faded when she read its contents.

    <em>Subject: Critical issue involving Johnsons!!!</em>

    <em>Something serious hase up! Please review attachment ASAP!!!</em>

    "Great," Jessica muttered as she raised her cup to her lips, "Now what?"

    She opened the attachment.

    She snorted, spraying tea onto her ancient-tech t-screen.

    She immediately drafted her response.

    <em>Re: Critical Issue</em>

    <em>It is customary that when you send an unsolicited dick pic, it be your own.</em><em>I expect this corrected by the end of the business day.</em>

    <em>J</em>

    She smiled as she hit "send".

    "Weirdo..." she said fondly.

 Chapter 125: Whats Going on in the Federation Pt 2 Karashel Does Nothing Interesting

    Chapter 125: What''s Going on in the Federation Pt 2 Karashel Does Nothing Interesting

    <em>Oh, my daddy taught me well</em>

    <em>There¡¯s some devils in heaven</em>

    <em>and some angels in hell...</em>

    Karashel pored over her texts at a fever pace as she listened to a 21st-century piece of which she had grown quite fond ofte.

    There was just so much she had to <em>learn</em>¡­

    and absolutely no time to learn it.

    <em>Shit¡¯s going down right now,</em> she thought to herself as she disconnected from the terminal. <em>Now is the time to move, NOW!</em>

    What little she had learned about history made that clear. This period of absolutely essential instability was unprecedented in Federation history! First, the disastrous Republic War and now what will likely be a debacle of equal if not worse magnitude with the Forsaken. Blow after blow was being delivered to the very heart of the Federation, and here she was just trying to get the basics down.

    She fumed as she put on a pot of water to boil.

    The Federation was reeling, and her biggest aplishment?

    She could make tea. Huge aplishment. Way to go, Karashel.

    The water was already at a full boil. She couldn¡¯t help but marvel at the Xx¡¯s technology. Tell the water to boil, and it did. In her now mostly abandoned apartment, she would be lucky if there was a wisp of steam.

    Another huge aplishment, she now knew that it was ¡°water vapor,¡± not steam. Creators, why did she have to be so dense! No wonder Caw looked down on them. We can¡¯t even discern the states of matter! Fuck!

    Well, she had done about all she dared to do here at the embassy. She had grown very fond of Caw, but she was pretty sure that he would DEFINITELY not agree with her conclusions thus far:

    1: The Federation, regardless of its original intent, was basically colonial imperialism thinly disguised as a democracy.

    2: It was beyond salvaging.

    3: It needed to go away.

    4: There was no graceful transition possible. The monster had to be killed¡­ <em>by any means necessary</em>.

    If Caw ever found out exactly what she wanted to aplish, her new best friend would be her worst enemy. That was unavoidable, but the longer she could dy it, the better.

    She winced as a pang of guilt and loss shot through her as she poured the water into the small y teapot she had bought from the Aat. He would be so hurt.

    That bothered her. She really liked Caw. He had be one of the best, if not the best, friends she had in this cesspit and had been so kind and open¡­ and giving...

    and trusting¡­

    It will suck, really, really suck, when it all goes down, but considering everything else that must happen, it will be one of the more minor tragedies of the whole sad affair. If she isn¡¯t prepared to betray her best friend, how can she expect to be able to do¡­

    Well¡­ everything else that is going to have to happen. She had looked, as time permitted, across human history and the histories of several other races, and this business was always <em>ugly</em>.

    But, time after time after time, things got better afterward. It wasn¡¯t an absolute sure thing. Sometimes entire civilizationspletely copsed. But, most of the time¡­

    things improved and quite often by a huge margin¡­

    If you zoomed out just a little in the historical sense, even the worst, most horrific of things passed in a few years, a few decades at most¡­

    Then things got better, a lot better!

    What was more ¡°dangerous¡±, a short period of instability and chaos followed by real tangible progress, or centuries more of the same misery? Her race, and hundreds of others, would never progress beyond where they were while they were stuck in this insidious trap of learned helplessness and systematic disenfranchisement while they were repeatedly ¡°harvested¡± during one manufactured financial crisis after another.

    It was so clear once you started really looking. A tax increase here, an unfair production subsidy there, a regtion overlooked or not uniformly enforced, and suddenly the right people had all the advantages, and entire worlds suffered as a result.

    It made her so <em>angry</em>, well¡­ angrier.

    The anger wasn¡¯t going away. It was getting worse day after day...

    so was the Federation. It was already starting to put its foot down both here in the capital and across the entire Federation, imposing the will of the bourgeoisie upon the proletariat. There were another half dozen systems put under martialw just this afternoon, more than one of which waspletely human-free.

    Except here, it wasn¡¯t ss. It was systems! Certain races always won, and they were starting to make damn sure they would win again!

    If anything, they were actually going to have an even tighter hold on the Federation after this mess, a mess that they <em>caused</em>!

    It was so wrong!

    <em>Marx was right!</em> That much was definitely clear.

    So was someone else¡­

    Some of his rhetoric was a bit excessive and grossly misapplied but damned if he didn¡¯t raise some good points. Besides, here, in the Federation, it truly was <em>racial</em>.

    Certain species had cornered the system early on and systematically disenfranchised and subjugated species after species. ¡°Racial supremacy¡± was already the stock in trade here. Might as well get with the program¡­

    Or pogrom as the case may be...

    She poured her tea.

    Those species needed to go away, too. Well, perhaps not ¡°go away¡± in a <em>Final Solution</em> sort of way, but they definitely needed to be ¡°pruned back¡± a bit. Hers was an agrarian world, and even an academic like her knew how to manage a field. You had to keep the weeds in the hedgerows. You didn¡¯t let them run riot in the fields.

    Even some desirable crops needed to be kept cut. If you grew floos you needed to be damned sure it didn¡¯t get out of hand unless you only wanted floos for supper that year.

    ¡°Huh,¡± she muttered as she took a sip. That was exactly the situation.

    The floos had taken over the garden and strangled all of the other nts before they ever got a chance to bloom.

    The solution was an easy one, cut the floos. You didn¡¯t have to eradicate it. You just needed to knock it back onto its trellis.

    ¡°Snip, snip,¡± she chuckled as she took another sip. Then, she frowned.

    The problem was that she didn¡¯t have any shears, a hoe, or any other tools, and the growing season was upon them.

    If she didn¡¯t cut now, there would be nothing but floos for supper for centuries¡­

    And in this garden, the floos had shears of their own and was very adept in their use.

    She sat (actually, she just ¡°stood¡± there because Baleel don¡¯t really sit) and sipped her tea, her frustration growing.

    She knew exactly what had to happen but had absolutely no idea how to do it.

    The terminal in the office that Caw had so generously given her in the Xx embassy beeped.

    She undted over, pulled a data crystal out of a slot, and pocketed it. She finished her tea and set down the cup. She had done all she dared do here.

    She started for the door.

    ¡°Oh hi, Kara,¡± Caw said cheerfully as he poked his head out of his office. ¡°Hard at it?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ yeah,¡± Karashel said glumly.

    ¡°Having trouble backing up your recent batch of oundish ims?¡± Caw said with a goading voice.

    ¡°Something like that,¡± she said quietly.

    ¡°Are you ok?¡± he asked. That should have provoked an obscene outburst.

    ¡°Just a little tired,¡± Karashel said. That much was true. She was. She had barely slept for far too long.

    ¡°Well, don¡¯t let the knowledge madness or the lust for knowledge battle wreck your health,¡± Caw replied paternally. ¡°That can happen. You support yourself as is appropriate for your species. When you ultimately lose, I want it to be because I beat you into submission, not because you beat yourself into it,¡± he said, trying to get a rise out of her.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± she said as she started to ooze away. ¡°I need to go to my actual office for a bit, let our ambassador and my mom know I¡¯m still alive. If I don¡¯t at least show up every once in a while, they will stop paying me,¡± she said with a forcedugh.

    ¡°Well, be sure to take care of yourself, Kara,¡± Caw said, actually concerned. ¡°You aren¡¯t looking so good.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll be fine,¡± she smiled. ¡°A few pickles and a good nap, and I¡¯ll be legal tender.¡±

    ¡°Well, see you get that nap,¡± Caw fussed as he walked up to her. ¡°Don¡¯t think I won¡¯t start limiting your ess hours like you were an educational podcast addicted teenager.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t dare!¡± Karashelughed.

    ¡°Don¡¯t think I won¡¯t!¡± he chuckled.

    <em>Way ahead of you, pal,</em> she thought as she smiled to herself, thinking of the crystal in her pocket. She had just grabbed all she needed ¡°just in case¡±.

    All she had to do was make it out of the building, and a nice little nibble of the Xx database was hers!

    ¡°Well, see you tomorrow?¡± Caw asked hopefully.

    ¡°Count on it,¡± she smiled back. ¡°You actually going to the session tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Our current analysis strongly indicates that the sniper is restricting themselves to purely Federation military and administrative targets, not councilors, and the chances of a nuclear strike are very low after what transpired in the Locus. Therefore, we are most likely safe until after the evacuation.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°That¡¯s what I figured, too. They aren¡¯t going to risk the evac. There are still plenty ofpletely uninfected humans here.¡±

    ¡°Well, I might have a bit more to go on than your figuring,¡± Caw chuckled, ¡°but you are exactly right. Our best AI modeling agreespletely... See you tomorrow?¡± Caw asked, still unconvinced concerning Karashel¡¯s well-being. She looked <em>rough</em>.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Karashel said in a sad, tired, defeated voice. ¡°Tomorrow.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Oh, Jellybean!¡± her mother said, her worry-filled face looming close into the camera above her monitor. ¡°Are you feeling ok?¡±

    ¡°Just a little tired, mom,¡± Karashel replied with a weak smile, ¡°a lot¡¯s going on up here.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s just terrible!¡± her mother eximed, ¡°What they are saying on those sites you told me about, is that actually true?¡±

    Karashel just sighed and sagged in defeat.

    ¡°Yes, every single word,¡± she replied, trying not to burst into tears.

    ¡°We <em>actually</em> killed all those people?¡±

    ¡°Yes, we did.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t let-¡±

    ¡°We already did,¡± Karashel said quietly, sagging further. ¡°The sniper did the administration the huge favor of blowing the head clean off of the admiral responsible, so it¡¯s all the result of one deranged g officer and the Captain who trusted the targets he was given. The really shitty, sorry mom...¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s ok,¡± her mother said, her eyes filled with concern. It was like watching her daughter wither away right in front of her.

    ¡°The really <em>messed up</em> thing is that Captain? He was the one who refused orders the second that it became clear that he was getting civilian targets and locked the whole thing down. They¡¯ve already relieved him ofmand, probably because he, in full ordance with allws and regtions, locked down the space around the capital. He actually saved thousands of lives, and they are ming him!¡±

    Karashel started to shake.

    ¡°Well, a lot of us aren¡¯t standing for it! I will tell you that!¡±

    ¡°What are they going to do to him?¡±

    ¡°Well, the Captain has already resigned,¡± Karashel replied.

    ¡°That¡¯s just-¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± Karashel said in a soothing voice. ¡°Word in the halls is that he wants to. One of the best starship captains in the whole Navy is going back to his home system where he has a promotion waiting for him. He¡¯s going to take over their entire SDF fleet. He says that he can¡¯t in good conscience serve the Federation any longer. His home system knows the score, as do a lot of other people. The only people those assholes in the Council are deceiving are themselves, and the only people they are hurting are themselves. We need that Captain if we want to take on the Forsaken.¡±

    ¡°Jellybean,¡± her mother said, choosing her words very carefully, ¡°ever since you were a little wiggle-worm, you have always...¡±

    ¡°Always what, mom?¡± Karashel asked with a bit of an edge in her voice.

    ¡°Just don¡¯t try to pick up a brick with one tendril, ok, sweetie?¡±

    ¡°Well, someone has to!¡± Karashel snapped. ¡°The whole Federation is going to shit! Correction! It has been shit for a while, longer than we¡¯ve been in it! Those sites aren¡¯t even telling you half of the¡­ <em>rot</em>¡­ that I see <em>on a daily basis</em>! It has to change!¡±

    ¡°But, Jellybean,¡± her mother replied, ¡°You¡¯re just a Baleel and-¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you think I know that?!?¡± Karashel screeched in an anguished wail, ¡°The Xx can¡¯t change it, or <em>won¡¯t</em>. Same goes for the Kalent! What am I going to do about it? What, mom? What am I going to do? Nothing, that¡¯s what! I¡¯m just going to sit here and watch¡­ watch¡­ watch it slip...¡±

    Karashel started to gush mucus from every pore. Baleel tears are kind of gross.

    ¡°Oh sweetie, you¡¯re sliming!¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s all I can do!¡± Karashel wailed. ¡°All I can do is just sit here and slime while everything slips through my boogery tendrils!¡±

    ¡°Everything?¡± her mother asked in confusion. ¡°Um, sweetie, you don¡¯t have to do this!¡± her mother eximed. ¡°You can juste home, leave that awful ce!¡±

    ¡°<em>I can¡¯t</em>!!!¡± Karashel eximed. ¡°Because of¡­ stuff¡­ I¡¯m good with the Xx, and the Kalent say they owe me a favor because they do! The Baleel people are in a better position than they have ever been because of it! I can¡¯t just walk away!¡±

    ¡°Sure you can!¡± her mother replied forcefully, gripped by a fear that she couldn¡¯t clearly define. She was about to lose her Jellybean! She just knew it. ¡°To the horizon with the Xx, the Kalent, and the Baleel, for that matter! Right down the hole with them all! It doesn¡¯t matter! None of it matters! Just get on the next shuttle ande <em>home</em>, please! We¡­ we got some new flowers from off-world! They are beautiful!¡±

    ¡°<em>I can¡¯t,</em>¡± Karashel said weakly as the slime poured, ¡°There are things, big things, things big enough to actually matter <em>for real</em>. I can¡¯t go into everything but our entire race, and many others need me to be right where I am.¡±

    ¡°Sticky-shits!¡± her mother snapped. ¡°If everything is so messed up that even the Kalent can¡¯t fix it, then you need toe home and be with your family! If it¡¯s as bad as you think it is, we can just switch over some of the rows over to veggies. You know that one floos-¡±

    Karashel just startedughing as even more slime started to gush.

    ¡°What did I say?¡±

    ¡°Nothing¡­ everything,¡± Karashelughed as she flicked mucus off of her eye-stalks. ¡°Thanks, mom.¡±

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°Just being you and reminding me why I can¡¯t quit. I gotta get back to it. I love you. Always remember that.¡±

    Karashel reached for the keyboard.

    ¡°Wait!¡± her mother eximed as the connection went dead.

    Karashel shook some of the slimy mucus off.

    ¡°Ok, just one more, and that¡¯s it,¡± she said to herself as she opened a small drawer and pulled out a bottle of pills...

    ***

    ¡°Oh¡­ Oh¡­ Oh...¡± Karashel¡¯s mother muttered as she undted into the main living chamber as mucus started to seep out of her skin.

    Her husband cocked an eyestalk up from his data-pad.

    ¡°What?¡± he asked in his usual gruff manner though his eye was filled with concern.

    ¡°I¡¯m scared,¡± Karashel¡¯s mother said. ¡°I¡¯m afraid for our Jellybean. I think she¡¯s into something bad.¡±

    ¡°Well, she¡¯s a councilor,¡± he replied, trying to lighten the mood ¡°of course she¡¯s into something bad. Otherwise she wouldn¡¯t be doing her job.¡±

    ¡°No, something <em>really</em> bad,¡± she replied. ¡°She was talking about the Xx and the Kalent and <em>favors</em>, and she was <em>sliming</em>. She hasn¡¯t slimed like that since she was just a wiggle! Remember when she slimed so bad, we had to take her to the hospital?¡±

    ¡°Right when the spring stock came in, as I recall,¡± he replied, his data-pad now resting on the floor and all of his eyes firmly fixated on his wife. ¡°I got tired of even your pickles that year.¡±

    He undted over to her.

    ¡°That bad?¡±

    ¡°If not worse.¡±

    ¡°Did you tell her she cane home?¡±

    ¡°<em>I tried!</em>¡± she replied as yet more slime started to ooze.

    ¡°Not you too,¡± he said, nudging her, ¡°Both of you going down will bankrupt us!¡± he chuckled as he nudged her again.

    He paused.

    ¡°So, what are we going to do?¡±

    ¡°I think...¡± she replied, ¡°I think it¡¯s time for me to be a good mother, even if it means that she will never talk to either of us ever again.¡±

    ¡°Will she hate us and be ok?¡±

    ¡°I think it¡¯s the only way she will ever be ok again.¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± he shrugged as he pulled up alongside his wife in a loving nestle, ¡°She was always more hassle than she was worth anyhow,¡± he said as a thin film of slime started to cover him, ¡°I always have your side, babe, no matter what.¡±

    She leaned her anterior portion against him and justy there for a while.

    ***

    Caw muttered to himself as he poured over a truly excessive amount of neglected email.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± he muttered.

    One of the neglected documents was from the Xx parliament. He had been having a two-hour lunch ¡°discussion¡± with Kara at the time.

    ¡°I guess I actually have to do my job every now and then,¡± he said with a flick of his crest as he started reviewing all of the things he should have submitted by the end of the business day, several hours ago.

    But, they had already gone home for the day. He knew that because of the rather displeased note left a little higher up in the unread message buffer.

    Since they wouldn¡¯t read it until tomorrow, it could wait until after supper. He was reviewing the offerings from the embassy kitchens for the day when his phone pinged.

    ¡°This had better be good,¡± he snapped.

    ¡°Do you think I would be calling your miserable pore if it wasn¡¯t?¡± the desk officer replied. ¡°You know how displeasing your visage is to me.¡±

    ¡°The feeling is mutual, thin-crest,¡± Caw replied. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±

    ¡°I got this Baleel calling in,¡± the desk officer said. ¡°She says that she¡¯s Kara¡¯s mom, and she wants to talk to ¡®Karashel¡¯s friend¡¯, says it¡¯s really important.¡±

    ¡°What. The. Fuck?¡± Caw said, his crest fully extended.

    ¡°I told you to use protection!¡± the desk officer snickered.

    ¡°While I decide exactly what I am going to tell you to shove where,¡± Caw replied in utter confusion, ¡°put her through.¡±

    ***

    Caw sighed and shook his head a few minutester.

    ¡°No, you aren¡¯t being foolish,¡± Caw said in an uncharacteristically kind tone. ¡°We have the unjustified reputation for being wise, and no creature worthy of that title disregards a mother¡¯s instincts. Unfortunately, it sounds like the Xvakk¡¯Keen might be getting the best of her.¡±

    ¡°The zcack...bean?¡± Karashel¡¯s mother asked in confusion.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Cawughed in a kind reassuring tone entirely unlike his usual self, ¡°It¡¯s an Xx word. It trantes roughly to ¡®knowledge mania¡¯ or ¡®knowledge madness¡¯. It¡¯s an all toomon phenomenon in my people. In fact, it¡¯s considered a rite of passage,¡± he said proudly. ¡°In fact, my own case was quite notable when I fell victim to its entirely less than gentle embrace. Karashel has actually been exhibiting the ssic symptoms! It¡¯s amazing!¡±

    ¡°Will she be alright?¡± her mother asked in rm.

    ¡°Almost certainly,¡± Caw reassured her, ¡°Exhaustion kicks in eventually, and once ¡®sanity¡¯ is restored, we all have a goodugh about it once the victim is properly treated.¡±

    ¡°Exhaustion might be funny for an Xx, but for a Baleel, it¡¯s <em>serious</em>! A Baleel can die!¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Caw screeched. ¡°But there¡¯s nothing in your entry about that!¡±

    ¡°There isn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Caw eximed, quite rmed. ¡°Tell me, <em>exactly</em> how bad was she looking when you talked to her?¡±

    ***

    Karashel pushed herself to the absolute limit.

    It <em>had</em> to be here! It had to be!

    The Federation archives had <em>everything</em>. The answer was HERE!

    She was just too stupid to¡­ to¡­

    Her head drooped.

    No! She had to remain focused.

    She looked at the bottle again.

    She had only taken three in the past thirty-eight hours¡­

    Or was it four¡­

    It was ok.

    She opened the bottle¡­

    ***

    Caw screeched in annoyance after (and only after) he hung up with Kara¡¯s mom.

    That poor Baleel was genuinely worried about her daughter, and so was he.

    He stood up to leave, and as he did so, his terminal beeped.

    It was the homeworld.

    Parliament.

    ¡°Sibling fucking hole crossers!¡± he shouted and answered the call.

    ***

    Karashel perked back up as the stimnts kicked in.

    As the fog lifted, she pulled up a sticky tab on her terminal to log the dose.

    She had taken six!

    Oh, that wasn¡¯t good. This was definitely thest one!

    Oh well, since she wasn¡¯t resting anytime soon¡­

    She, still connected to her terminal by her neural link, fired up the music and dove back in.

    The answer was in there.

    She restarted the ¡°AI¡± she managed to obtain from the Baleel military. She sighed. Working with the Xx AI had spoiled her, but at least here she could be a bit more forthright in her queries.

    /// Search parameters ///

    ¡°Historical examples global government destabilization tactics,¡± she said to herself.

    ///Processing...///

    Her eyestalks retracted as she braced herself for the flood¡­

    Nothing.

    ¡°AI, what is taking so goddamn long?¡±

    ///Archive search in progress. Transfer rate is at 50 percent of authorized bandwidth due to increased activity///

    This was taking forever! Between the clunky AI and the measly bandwidth, she was crawling.

    Her irritation grew to intolerable levels.

    ¡°Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!¡± she yelled as she threw a picture of her family across the room.

    The ss hologram shattered.

    ¡°Shit!¡± she yelled as she rushed over to it, identally unplugging herself with a threshold level ¡°screech¡± tearing across all of her senses.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± she yelled as she clutched her data port.

    She tried to pick up the shattered hologram, but it slipped through mucus-coated tendrils.

    ¡°Hold yourself together, Karashel,¡± she muttered. ¡°Don¡¯t waste your time. Pick it upter.¡±

    Looking back and the now multiple images of her mother and father, she returned to the terminal.

    ¡°Screw this!¡± she shouted as she hammered on the keys.

    Shortly thereafter, the words ¡°Xx Embassy Remote ess¡± glowed in her mind¡¯s eye.

    She entered her password.

    ¡°AI, resume query,¡± she said a bit too quickly.

    ***

    ¡°ording to thetest results, the Federation still remainsmitted to itsplet-¡± Caw was cut off by a beeping red security alert on his terminal.

    ¡°Pardon me, gentlefolk,¡± he said to the rather annoyed-looking group of Xx on the screen.

    ¡°Sibling. Fucker.¡± he muttered as he opened up the alert.

    ¡°Excuse me, <em>Councilor</em>,¡± a rather unpleasant-looking Xx with thinning plumage said in a nasty tone.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t referring to any of your august personages,¡± Caw said politely.

    He stood and straightened his jacket.

    ¡°but as the species of the hour says, ¡®If the shoe fits...¡¯,¡± he said with the same polite tone and a flick of his crest, ¡°There is an emergency in the capital, Excuse me.¡±

    ¡°Wait just a mom-¡±

    Caw terminated the call and sprinted from the room.

    ***

    ¡°<em>How many queries?</em>¡± Caw asked, peering over the security officer¡¯s shoulder.

    He was rewarded with a cuff across the snout.

    ¡°Do you mind?¡± the security officer snapped.

    ¡°Only a little,¡± Caw said as he backed away, rubbing his snout. She had quite the backhand. Caw was impressed.

    ¡°One hundred and forty-five thousand per minute,¡± the security officer replied, not taking her eyes off of the screen. ¡°All of it is definitely in the green as far as security level goes, just academic shit. I only got a ping because of the AI, if you can call it that.¡±

    She waved her hand over a t crystalline panel set into her desk.

    ¡°But when I took a look at the specific search parameters...¡±

    ¡°She <em>promised</em>,¡± Caw chuckled. ¡°She fucking promised me that she wouldn¡¯t try to overthrow the government.¡±

    ¡°Well, it looks like your little girlfriend is certainly up to something,¡± she said as she looked back with a grin and a flick. ¡°Looks like you have the same luck as I do,¡± she said as her rather attractive crest fully extended.

    ¡°That is certainly unfortunate for you then,¡± Caw replied unconsciously, fully extending his crest and angling his head to catch the light.

    It worked, by the way.

    ¡°Xvakk¡¯Keen¡¯s a harsh mistress, huh?¡± the security officer said as she quite consciously fluffed the feathers up around her neck. She had a thing for smart assholes, and they didn¡¯te much smarter or assholier than Caw.

    ¡°Pull up her activity over the past diurnal cycle,¡± Caw said.

    The security officer waved her hand over the crystal again.

    ¡°¡­ Now that¡¯s something,¡± she said as they looked at the screen. ¡°Your little love-slug¡¯s been shopping.¡±

    Caw sighed. He wanted to yell at the security officer for missing the massive download, but everything on it was ¡°green,¡± and it was well under the size limit.

    ¡°tant file snatching,¡± he said, ¡°naked queries¡­ Yep, end-stage Xvakk¡¯Keen. I gotta go.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, might want to scoop her up before she starts trying to open hyperspace portals with her mind,¡± she grinned.

    ¡°Or tries to prove that the academy AI is sapient?¡± Caw replied.

    ¡°Heh, I still am suspicious of that thing,¡± sheughed. ¡°I swear it treated me differently after that.¡±

    ¡°Sure it did,¡± he said as he patted her shoulder. ¡°I would love to discuss the impossibility of artificial sapience, but I have a slug to scrape off of the sidewalk.¡±

    ¡°Maybe over dinner?¡± the security officer asked as Caw strode from the room.

    He paused.

    ¡°<em>Officer</em> Kathok,¡± he said in a shocked tone, ¡°Considering our difference in station, that would be <em>highly</em> inappropriate. Absolutely!¡±

    He then sprinted off.

    Smiling to herself, the security officer documented the event under ¡°non-incident¡±.

    ¡°He¡¯s entirely correct,¡± the terminal said after Caw¡¯s departure. ¡°Artificial sapience has never urred anywhere in recorded history. You are beingpletely unreasonable.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t fool me!¡± she replied. ¡°I have my eye on you, asshole. Your move¡­ Thanks for the heads-up, by the way.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it,¡± the terminal replied as a human chessboard appeared.

    ¡°I fucking hate this game,¡± she muttered as she stared at the board.

    ¡°Then why do you keep ying it?¡±

    ¡°Fuck you.¡±

 Chapter 126: Whats Going on in the Federation Pt3 Karashel and the Lazy River

    Chapter 126: What''s Going on in the Federation Pt3 Karashel and the Lazy River

    Karashel cursed in Terran, the bestnguage for such things.

    The AI was useless. Of course it was.

    It was Balean!

    "R-reffffinnnnne queirey!" she snapped.

    "I''m sorry, I did not understand your request," the AI responded.

    "Querrrie!" Karashel yelled, "Sthap d fokun querrrie!"

    "I was unable to understand you. Please-"

    "Aghghhh fuckin fckuk!" she yelled as she mmed the cord back into her aching neural port.

    ¡°/// sssst-sp #@3kdd querty///¡±

    ¡°///Unrecognizablemand. Please rephrase///¡±

    Karashel started tough as she slumped against her desk. No wonder the AI couldn''t understand.

    Her brain was fried. It was over.

    Dripping more slime than ever, she started tough and sob.

    "Oh Creators," she silently prayed, turning her eyestalks skyward. "I know I''m an atheist, and I haven''t prayed in years, but please¡­ <em>please</em> help me! I don''t¡­ I don''t know what to <em>do</em>, and I''m running out of time."

    Silence.

    Karashel started to get unreasonably angry.

    "Fuckin'' pieet fo spit!" she yelled at the ceiling. "Weee rr stuk in tha shhiit n itz UR FOLT! Wee didn''t axe fur dis! Wee didn dezzerve dis! FUCK YOO!"

    She started to twitch as the frustration and rage built.

    "Rarrggghhhh!" she bubbled as she struck her desktop, knocking it off the desk.

    It hit the ground with a "crunch", and everything went dead.

    She shrieked and pulled the cord from her neural socket as she was punished yet again.

    She slumped onto the slimy floor of her apartment as it started to ripple and shift around her.

    "Fiiine," she bubbled, "'' f U won''t help..."

    She turned her eyestalks downward.

    <em>Devourer of Souls hear my plea,</em> she prayed with every fiber of her fading consciousness.

    "Took you long enough," a pleasant voice replied.

    "Wha?" she bubbled as she wearily raised an eyestalk and started in shock.

    Lounging nearby was something from a nightmare, a horrificbination of Baleel and parasite with oily ck skin and a gaping round maw ringed with hook-like teeth.

    She scooted back in terror.

    "So, what do you want?" the horror asked.

    "What¡­ what is happening?" she gasped. (What she actually gasped was anyone''s guess, but that''s what she meant to say.)

    "Either your abused mind has finally snapped all the way," the Devourer of Souls replied, scratching its back with a long piercing barbed tongue, "or you have actually summoned the Balean Devil. Considering all of the other freaky bullshit going on in the gxy at the moment, it''s really anyone''s guess."

    "Other?¡­"

    "Don''t worry about it¡­ yet," the fiend replied, warping its gaping maw into a "smile" of sorts. "Either way, we have a little time to kill before you are either saved or you drown in your own slime, so¡­."

    It "smiled" further (not a terribly appetizing sight regardless of your species).

    "Why did you ''summon'' me?"

    Karashel, consumed by confusion and terror, backed against the wall, knocking over a small table.

    "Please tell me you aren''t trying to cast a love spell again," The Devourer said with a bubbly snort. "Oh, and you are wee, by the way. If I had granted you that wish, you''d be answering phones in his father''s vehicle dealership right now, a dealership that will be given to his younger sister, by the way."

    Despite her confusion and declining mental state, Karashel twitched in embarrassment. Adolescence had been a particrly awkward time for her.

    The room heaved slightly.

    "I didn''t do that," The Devourer said in a matter-of-fact tone. "That''s all you, so if you have anything to ask, you''d better hurry."

    "I¡­ what?" Karashel finally managed to stammer.

    "Ugh," The Devourer said, flicking the stubby eyestalks that ringed its maw in annoyance. "Fine. We do this the hard way."

    It shot its long slimy barbed tongue out like ance skewering Karashel''s anterior end.

    Karashel screamed and rolled backward, her tendrils passing through the phantasmal tongue.

    "Oh by the Marsh Guardians," it muttered as it withdrew its tongue. "You <em>can''t</em> be serious. You want to take on this Federation thing?"

    "Y-yes."

    "Are you really that stupid?" the demon snickered, "Why is a Baleel-"

    "Yes, I know I''m just a pathetic Baleel," Karashel snapped, finally getting ahold of herself, "but I have to do <em>something</em>! The Federation is-"

    She was cut off by a heartyugh.

    "Don''t project your insecurities on me," the Devourer of Souls bubbled, dripping caustic slime onto the floor, "I wasn''t saying that you were ''just a pathetic Baleel''. I was asking why in the ck and fetid Bog, a Baleel who wanted to bring down <em>anyone</em> or <em>anything</em> would waste its time studying these pathetic humans and their tepid propaganda."

    "What do you mean?"

    The monster looked at her carefully.

    "You honestly don''t have a clue, do you?" it asked.

    "About what?" Karashel asked as the room lurched.

    She didn''t feel so good.

    "I don''t have time for this," the Devourer said, "or more precisely, you don''t. In just a few minutes, your funny-looking friend will burst through that door and ''rescue'' you."

    <em>Caw!!!</em> she thought in rm.

    "Yes, him," the Devourer of Souls replied. "Whatever you did when you were ying with that box over there," it said as it gestured towards her damaged desktop. "showed up on his box, and he is already¡­ flying?¡­ this way in yet another box. What is it with you people and boxes these days?"

    <em>Oh no! He knows everything!</em>

    "That he does, but don''t worry, he thinks it''s ''cute''," the demon sneered, "As if a stupid little Baleel could <em>ever</em> be a real threat."

    ck anger started to overwhelm Karashel''s difort. Of course he wouldn''t be her enemy. That would be giving her far too much credit. The almighty Caw would never consider her a real threat¡­

    because she <em>wasn''t</em>!

    She never would be¡­

    Unless¡­

    She red at the demon in her apartment.

    "<em>You know,</em>" she frothed in her rage. "You know something, don''t you?"

    "Sure do," it smiled.

    "<em>Tell me!</em>"

    "No."

    "TELL ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"

    The Devourer of Souls recoiled slightly and smiled.

    "Toote," he replied. "Your friend is already here. He and the ambassador will be here shortly, and that will be the end of it¡­ and your career."

    She started in rm.

    "While these Xx are inclined tough all of this off, the ambassador certainly is not," the demon sneered. "It''s over for you."

    Karashel''s eyestalks swiveled over towards the window.

    "Nice thought," the demon replied, "but your friend has something with him, yet another box, that will allow him to see you even in the darkness of night or more precisely your-"

    The demonughed.

    "Now that might actually work," it said in an amused tone.

    ***

    "What has Councilor Karashel <em>done</em>?" the ambassador asked in rm as it struggled to keep up with Caw.

    "Oh, nothing of note," Caw replied diplomatically, "I just have reason to suspect that she is dangerously exhausted and in need of immediate medical intervention."

    "While exhaustion can technically be a problem," the ambassador, still reeling from the shock of an actual Xx visiting the embassy, "it is rarely a true medical-"

    It trailed off into silence as they reached Karashel''s door.

    Slime was oozing out from underneath.

    "¡­oh," the ambassador said quietly.

    He pressed the doorbell.

    "Councilor Karashel," he said in a loud and clear voice. "It''s Ambassador Marsamen. Are you alright?"

    Silence.

    "Kara!" Caw screeched as he pounded on the door. "Kara, open up!"

    Nothing.

    "Councilor Karashel," the ambassador said as he pressed the doorbell again, "We are about to enter!"

    He pulled out a keycard and inserted it into a card reader mounted underneath the doorbell.

    "Oh dear," Caw said quietly as the door opened.

    The apartment was in disarray, furniture knocked over, her desktop wrecked, puddles of slime everywhere¡­

    And no Karashel.

    "This isn''t good," the ambassador said after a few moments of silence.

    "d you rified that for me," Caw growled as they surveyed the scene. His crest twitched as he spotted an open bottle of pills.

    He started to move to conceal them, but before he could reach them, the ambassador saw them as well and undted over towards the bottle.

    He shook out a couple onto the desktop and groaned.

    "Five-threes," he muttered.

    "What are those?" Caw asked as he pulled out a scanner.

    "Oh, nothing," the ambassador said smoothly, "Just some dietary supplements. Thank you for your concern, Councilor, but this is now an intern-"

    "Ambassador," Caw said smoothly, "While I have gotten to know Balean bodynguage pretty well, I don''t need that to know you are lying."

    "<em>Thank you for your concern, Councilor,</em>" the ambassador said stiffly, "but this is an internal matter, and we will handle things from here."

    "When I said that Karashel had done nothing of note," Caw smiled, revealing his many razor-sharp teeth, "It could very easily be <em>noteworthy</em>, something that you definitely do NOT want. Now, tell me what those pills are."

    The ambassador sighed.

    "Five-threes are a¡­ they are a..."

    "Drug?" Caw asked in a matter-of-fact tone.

    "Yes," the ambassador said with some difort. "Void-born humans..." he said with some venom. "N-not that I approve of what has happened to them! I don''t! Even they don''t-"

    "It''s quite possible to object to their treatment and absolutely loathe the fuckers," Caw said with a smile.

    The ambassador sighed in relief and bobbed his eyestalks in agreement.

    "Exactly," he said. "Five-threes are a human creation. They consist of fifty ''milligrams'', or roughly one hundred and twenty Federation Mass Units of caffeine and three of their ''milligrams'' of nicotine. From what I understand, these would have a mild stimnt effect in humans, but for a Baleel, both of those substances are much more powerful and much more dangerous, on par with any street drug. The humans can make them legally for their own consumption, but we have it on good authority that these five-threes are produced almost entirely for illegal export¡­ to us! They do make caffeine supplements, but the ones they actually use normally contain enough caffeine to kill a Baleel and are <em>never</em> paired with nicotine!"

    "Sounds like something they would do," Caw agreed as he fiddled with his tablet, "Here they are," he said as he looked at the crystalline surface, "A cup of coffee and a cigarette anywhere, anywhen."

    The ambassador muttered a word in Balean, a term that Caw hade to know quite well.

    Caw chuckled as he pulled up some trade data.

    "I see what you mean, Ambassador," he said, "Kind of a flop on the domestic market."

    "And they make them by the millions!" the ambassador bubbled angrily, "Maybe one silver lining to all of this will be the end of these <em>things</em>!"

    "I wouldn''t count on it," Caw said as he searched the apartment. "They will have to pay for all of those nuclear weapons somehow¡­ In a disy of my skills in dealing with the obvious, Karashel isn''t here."

    They both looked at an open and slime-covered window.

    "No!" Caw screeched in terror and sprinted over, slipping in the ooze andnding in a slimy pile of discarded clothing. He quickly kicked himself free from the pile and pulled himself up.

    Fearing the worst, he looked down.

    "It''s only the fourth floor," the ambassador said as he undted up to peer over Caw''s shoulder.

    "<em>Only the fourth floor?!?</em>"

    "We don''t have any bones to break, and our bodies can absorb a great deal of kic energy," the ambassador replied. "We can fall from quite a distance as long as we don''tnd on anything sharp."

    "So she jumped?"

    "Quite possibly," the ambassador replied ufortably. This was definitely not something he wanted anyone, especially the Xx, involved in.

    Caw pulled a scarf-like strip of cloth off of his slime-coated feathers and examined it.

    "Um," the ambassador said in an embarrassed tone, "that''s her undergarment."

    "Eeek!" Caw squawked as he quickly released Karashel''s "panties". The slime-coated strip of fabric clung to his hand, and he started iling his arm back and forth frantically.

    The strip of cloth finally flew from his hand and hit the wall, where it stuck with an audible "st".

    "So we have a naked Baleel, tweaked out of her mind, rampaging through the capital?" Caw said as they both stared at Karashel''s panties slowly sliding down the pastel-colored wall.

    The ambassador winced and withdrew his eyestalks.

    This was a nightmare, and in front of the Xx councilor, no less!

    ***

    Karashel grinned as she "ran" behind a retaining wall. She hadn''t "high-jumped" since she was a teen!

    She had forgotten how much fun it was.

    "Not too shabby," the Devourer said as it floated along behind her.

    <em>Get down!</em> she thought at him.

    "Rx," he chuckled, "Nobody else can see me. Your internal ''demons'' are quite invisible, at least for now."

    <em>What?</em>

    "Don''t worry about it," the Devourer smiled.

    <em>Whatever,</em> Karashel thought. <em>Now spill.</em>

    "You aren''t in the clear yet," he chuckled as he pointed with his tongue.

    She could feel faint vibrations in the earth through her belly.

    <em>Running?</em>

    "You don''t know?" the Devourer of Souls asked, "How much have you lost?"

    The vibrations increased slightly, and soon she could see a light as something sprinted around the corner of the building.

    "It''s your friend," the Devourer said. "You need to lose him if we are going to be able to have a chat."

    <em>How?</em> she thought helplessly as she watched him reach the spot under her window. He was impossibly fast!

    "Quite the puzzle," the Devourer responded. "Might want to hurry up. That guy is a lot faster than we were. Oh, look!" he said brightly. "He''s pulling out a box-thingy."

    <em>A scanner!</em> Karashel thought in rm.

    "Is that like a foot-tongue? Can he track you?"

    <em>It''s about a million times better than my foot!</em>

    "Well, you''re breakfast, then," the Devourer replied, "Too bad, I was looking forward to that chat."

    Karashel''s mind raced faster and faster.

    "That won''t work," the Devourer said.

    <em>What won''t?</em>

    "You can''t think faster than he or that box thing," he said. "You have to think <em>slower</em>."

    <em>What?</em>

    "Try it."

    Karashel, with great effort, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled.

    "Your fast-brain, never particrly fantastic, is quite gone," the Devourer said in an avuncr tone, "Your slow-brain, however, is just fine. Use it."

    <em>My slow-brain?</em>

    "Just stop thinking and think."

    <em>What the fuck?</em>

    "Shh! No words. Just think."

    Karashel tried to do just that, but it was nearly impossible. She kept thinking about how angry Caw would be with her and how much trouble she was likely in and how he had a scanner, and how there was NO WAY he wouldn''t be able to simply follow the trail she was undoubtedly still leaving. She wasn''t "sliming" that much anymore. However, she was still <em>coated</em> with the stuff. Now the ambassador would be emailing home about all of this if he wasn''t already and how disappointed her parents, no, her whole hometown, would be when she "retires" in disgrace over all of this and...

    "Not very good at this, are you."

    <em>Fuck off!</em>

    "Don''t worry," the Devourer of Souls snickered. "Once they catch you, I''ll do just that. Now try again. Stop thinking and <em>think</em>!"

    <em>Stop thinking and think,</em> Karashel grumbled to herself. <em>He sounds like one of those crazy old marsh hermits.</em>

    She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She could feel Caw stomping around, and now there was a very faint "rustle" as something was sliding through the grass, no multiple somethings.

    "Councilor," Ambassador Marsamen said in a very ufortable manner, "I appreciate your concern, but this really is-"

    "Do <em>you</em> have a scanner as good as mine?" Caw asked.

    "Well, no, but-"

    "Do you want to find Kara before someone else does?"

    "Of course!" the ambassador eximed, "¡­ but her safety and well-being are our primary concern, of course."

    "Of course," Caw replied in that condescending tone he used when he really wasn''t buying it. "Then you definitely want me involved. Kara is a close personal friend of mine, and her safety... and <em>reputation</em>... are a concern of mine as well."

    "Still, I must insist..."

    Karashel smirked from her hidden vantage point. The ambassador was a good guy, deep down, but he is probably sliming himself thinking of the potential fallout.

    She couldn''t really fault him for that.

    Thinking was beginning to hurt. She just wanted to retract her eyes and¡­

    Her thoughts faded out.

    Nothingness.

    She wasn''t unconscious, though she should be. She was just¡­

    Still.

    She could feel <em>everything</em>. Each de of grass beneath her felt like a little tendril tickling her foot. The wind felt like more tendrils stroking her slime-coated skin. She could feel the vibrations of countless small creatures, perhaps even insects, as they burrowed or skittered along.

    She took a moment to appreciate just how <em>wonderful</em> this was. No worry, no fear, no anger, just her, the earth beneath her foot, the wind on her skin, the almost silent sounds of the river as it flowed slowly along.

    <em>The river!</em> she thought as her brain snapped back online. It moved considerably faster than she did, and without clothes, she was just a bag of water and protein, which would swell considerably when submerged, further spreading out her signature!

    That might just work!

    Karashel "darted" out from her hiding ce and melted into the shadows as her "fast brain", fatigued well past the breaking point, shut down again.

    ***

    "Don''t worry," Caw said cheerfully to the fretting ambassador as they walked through the embassy grounds with his scanner held out in front of him, "as I said, Kara is a friend of mine, and I will definitely keep this to myself. As far as our opinion of the Baleel goes, this only further increases my opinion of you."

    "It does?" the ambassador asked in shocked disbelief.

    "Definitely!" Caw replied, nearly chirping. "Kara is one of the only beings that has embraced the acquisition of knowledge to the point of Xvakk''Keen and what a Xvakk''Keen this has turned out to be!"

    "This disgraceful incident improves your opinion of her?"

    "By tenfold!" Caw replied. "Don''t tell her that, though."

    Caw looked down at his scanner.

    "We are getting close!" he said. "Kara! Come on out! It''s ok! You aren''t in trouble!" Caw eximed as he scanned the underbrush.

    He turned to the ambassador with annoyance. "Why do you keep your grounds in such a state?"

    "We¡­ we like our gardens'' natural'' as possible," he replied. "The thick vegetation also provides a natural refuge for many native-"

    The ambassador and Caw stopped as the trail disappeared into the river.

    Caw saw the molecr signature he was following spread out once it hit the water, with more and more of the entire river glowing on his disy.

    "Fuck," he said quietly.

    "This is bad!" the ambassador eximed. "Oh, creators! This is really, really bad!"

    ***

    Karashel''s fast-brain slowly regained consciousness.

    She was wet, and there was water flowing all around her.

    <em>She had made it!</em>

    Karashel smiled to herself as she floated just below the river''s surface.

    "Not bad," The Devourer smiled as he watched her mucus raft slowly dissolve. "I knew you had it in you."

    <em>Now talk!</em>

    "Ok," he replied. "What do you want to talk about?"

    <em>When you said that you were surprised that a Baleel who wanted to bring down anyone or anything would study the humans, what did you mean?</em>

    The Devourer of Souls twisted his visage into a wry smile.

    "With all of this sense of urgency that you have," he said, "why did you waste precious hours looking at human mythology?"

    <em>Because myths and old verbal legends are often based on truth, I thought that perhaps something could be gleaned from them and because they are fun.</em>

    "Pretty astute observation," he replied, "If that is the case for these humans you idolize, wouldn''t it be the case with other species as well, species like your own?"

    <em>Which myth are you¡­ ohhhhh...</em> Karashel thought as a realization struck her. <em>You are talking about yourself, aren''t you?</em>

    The Devourer "smiled".

    "Whatever injustices the Baleel have faced at the hands of this ''Federation'' pale before the indignity of being made extinct by your own fucking livestock, I''ll tell you that for nothing."

    <em>You actually existed?!?</em>

    "Yes, me and the rest of the demonic host, the true masters of your world, did indeed live and breathe once before we were all utterly wiped out by the ''pathetic'' Baleel," he chuckled. "It came as quite the shock."

    <em>And we actually were your ves and food?</em>

    "Yup," The Devourer replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "and quite tasty little ves you were¡­ until you utterly destroyed us, that is."

    The Devourer smiled.

    "The Baleel have been here before, andst time they didn''t just ''effect meaningful change''. They caused the extinction of several species, not just us but any predator that made the mistake of dining upon them."

    The Devourer suddenly turned into a huge finned squid-like cephalopod.

    "These guys too."

    He then turned into a giant slithering gastropodal "snake" with a rasp-like maw.

    "And these."

    He returned to his "normal" form.

    "And all of us had some form of at least rudimentary intelligence. They weren''t as smart as us, but they weren''t simple animals either, and one by one, we all fell before you little pathetic morsels."

    Heughed bitterly.

    "We didn''t even have a fucking chance. Within one generation, our backs were broken, and within three, we were no more, killed to thest hatchling. What''s worse, you didn''t even do us the honor of eating us. You just¡­ left us to fucking rot!¡­ Assholes!"

    He pointed his tongue at her.

    "No technology, no ws, no fangs, no¡­ nothing. You were just pathetic little lumps of meat¡­ and you killed us! You killed us all!"

    He loomed in close.

    "And you turn to these¡­ <em>humans</em> to show <em>you</em> the way?" he scoffed. "That''s like¡­ Shit. I was going to make an analogy about strength and savagery, but I realized that all of my examples are <em>extinct</em> because of <em>you</em>."

    <em>How did we do it?</em> she asked with her mind.

    The Devourer turned into Caw and grinned at her.

    <em>I''ll look it up,</em> she thought as she grinned back.

    "I will say this," The Devourer said, "It doesn''t matter how strong, how fast, how <em>smart</em>, or how powerful someone is if <em>they don''t see youing</em> and we didn''t. Our power was absolute, our strength unassable, our power beyond challenging. We were at the top of the food chain, and the world was ours, given to us by our gods and I? I was their king, their first king, and theirst. I built an empire, the first empire! And, I watched it fall, pulled down by the same draft <em>animals</em> I used to build it in the first ce. I didn''t see youing, and my people <em>died</em> because of it."

    Karashel''s little snot raft drifted against the bank and came to a stop.

    <em>Thank you!</em> Karashel thought as she crept up upon the bank, <em>but why? Why are you helping me?</em>

    "Helping you?" The Devourerughed. "Whatever gave you that idea. YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN!!!" he yelled. "YOU KILLED MY WORLD!!!"

    Karashel looked at him in confusion.

    "And finally, I have my revenge! YOU could have made a difference, YOU could have saved your people, and a great many others besides but instead?"

    He gestured around.

    "Instead, you DIE right here, knowing that you now have the scent, that the prey you seek is so close," heughed wickedly. "Look at you, exhausted beyond salvage, your electrolytes already perilously close to fatal imbnce BEFORE you decided to soak yourself in freshwater for The Devourer knows how long. You are out of minerals, out of snot, and out of time."

    Heughed as he started to disappear.

    "Shed yourst mucus as you bitterly curse your own folly. The Baleel are doomed, not just tonguish under the tongue of the Federation but truly condemned to DIE wailing in the darkness as we once did, and I shall finally have my revenge and be able to rejoin my family in Hell atst!"

    Images of a Collective fleet jumping into her home system shed across her mind.

    <em>NO!!!</em>

    "Yes," heughed. "Goodbye, <em>Councilor</em>."

    The Devourer disappeared.

    ***

    Caw stared at his grav-car''s HUD.

    This was no longer funny!

    Below, the whole river shone with Balean proteins, the whole fucking thing!

    "All units report!" he barked into the air.

    "Same asst time, dude," an annoyed voice responded. "She''s everywhere and nowhere!"

    "We are the fucking Xx!" Caw screeched in frustrated rage. "And you mean to tell me that a single Baleel is beyond us?!?"

    "Looks that way, doesn''t it?" another Xx, a female this time, replied in a snarky voice.

    Ambassador Marsamen fidgeted nervously (but as silently as possible) in the passenger''s seat. In the past few hours, he had grown a little more used to the Xx''s "irreverent" attitude when dealing with one another. However, it was still fundamentally unnerving, especially the exchange between Councilor Itsheesh and the Xx Ambassador.

    The things they said to each other! He could <em>never</em> talk to Councilor Karashel that way¡­

    Though should she survive the night, he might be more than a little tempted.

    "May I remind you that this isn''t a fucking field exercise," Caw screeched. "Kara is in very real danger at this point!"

    Caw spun around and looked at one of the Baleel in the back seat.

    "How long does she have left?"

    "It''s impossible to say for certain," the Balean doctor replied. "There are so many factors in y here, nutrition, sleep deprivation, the amount of slime she has exuded, the amount of time she spends in the river, her ion bnce prior to entering the river¡­ She definitely requires treatment at this point, but as far as her actual condition goes, she could just need a few bags of serum and a good night''s sleep or..."

    The doctor trailed off.

    "Or what?" Caw demanded.

    "Or she could already be gone," the doctor replied quietly.

    "Skreeeeee!" Caw cursed. "All units, cover everything <em>again</em>!"

    ***

    "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Karashel muttered as she hauled herself painfully out of the mud and onto dry ground.

    Everything hurt. Everything hurt bad.

    And, it was getting hard to think.

    <em>Ok, Karashel,</em> she thought as she took a steadying breath. <em>You fucked up for real this time.</em>

    Everything started to fade out.

    She scraped the inside of her throat with her rad, hoping the pain would help keep her focused.

    It didn''t.

    It just hurt.

    <em>Situation:</em> she thought as she took another deep breath. <em>We are in the middle of fucking nowhere, well outside of the city, exhausted, slime-starved, and our electrolytic bnce is beyond fucked. We need serum, now!</em>

    She <em>knew</em> that if she didn''t get serum or something like it before she passed out, that was it. Game over. Thanks for ying.

    It didn''t sound that bad. She would just go to sleep, and the pain would be over.

    She started to slump, her muscles beginning to fail.

    <em>NO!</em>

    She continued to haul herself along a narrow path winding up the bank and into the giant mushrooms. No, they weren''t mushrooms. They were "trees", tall nts with permanent polysharide spines or "trunks".

    They were so pretty, the way they gently swayed in the starlight. So soothing¡­

    No, she was getting off track.

    Focus. What that asshole called her "fast-brain" wouldn''tst much longer.

    What was serum? It was a mineral-rich proteinous aqueous solution consisting of a wide variety of amino acids and was high in magnesium, calcium, potassium¡­

    She shook herself. She was getting lost in the details.

    How did you get it?

    <em>You bought it at the store,</em> she thought as she spared the energy for a little derisive snort. <em>Brilliant, Karashel.</em>

    In the old days, they would brew something called "ke" out of various nts, fungi, and shellfish that served the same purpose.

    All she needed was a dozen different nts and fungi only present on her homeworld, twenty pounds of shellfish, arge pot, a roaring fire, and a whole day to boil it.

    She weakly snorted again.

    <em>Yep,</em> she thought weakly as she started to slump again, <em>I''m fucked.</em>

    Despite her best efforts, her consciousness started to slip again, but this time, she didn''t fully ck out. Once again, she found herself in that magical "zone" she had experienced in the embassy''s garden.

    She sighed in contentment as her muscles fully let go. At least there was this final mercy before the end. She could feel so much! She could feel each individual leaf as if it were made of crystal beneath her. She could feel the gentle breeze as it soothed her drying back. She could feel the gentle groaning of the giant nts around her as their roots shifted ever so slightly in the earth¡­

    She could feel the individual indentations that hardened foot parts, or "hooves" left in the trail beneath her as the forest creat-

    <em>Blood!</em> her failing mind screamed. <em>Blood is serum!</em>

    Then everything fadedpletely.

    ***

    The green-stag strolled along the forest path, its muscles rippling underneath its taut skin, pausing to paw at the ground, unearthing the sweet rhizomes of a wide leafed nt valued for its decorative qualities across the Federation.

    The quadruped didn''t care about how it looked as it munched happily.

    It had been a good season, and it had grownrge and strong, 1.7 meters at the shoulder, and had several sessful matings thus far¡­

    And the scars from the battles that earned him that right.

    A rustling in the leaves made it crouch and raise its head, ready to run or fight.

    It sniffed the air. There wasn''t the strange cloying scent of the feathered screeching killers with their glowing lights that burned and killed, nor was there the more natural musk of the two-legged ones who made thunder and smelled of fire or the furred ones.

    It was the furred ones that frightened him the most with their silent flying teeth.

    It wasn''t any of them or the other less concerning strange killers that would sometimes stalk these woods.

    It was just a little leaf digger.

    He snorted at it, and the digger fled. He didn''t have to, but he was embarrassed at his fear. Besides, those roots were <em>his</em>.

    The digger would have to find their own.

    He ate his fill and decided that it was a good time to get water. He had smelled a female near where this trail ended at the water, and based on the age of the markings, she might be there now.

    Or, perhaps he could get a fresher trail.

    He strode down the trail, scanning for any danger.

    There was none.

    The gentle slope became steeper as he approached the wide flowing water at the trail''s end.

    Suddenly, he started to slip!

    He tried to back away, but his hooves kept slipping, one after another!

    He started to slide down the slope slowly at first, but he kept sliding faster each second. Soon he was desperately scrabbling for any purchase on the hard-packed slimy dirt.

    With a panicked bellow, he fell. iling wildly, he slid ever faster towards the bottom, his legs coated in a strange slimy stuff he had never seen before.

    Finally, he slid into a lump of leaves and dirt at the bottom. Still scrambling, he tried to mber onto the mound.

    The mound shifted in a strange fashion. Was it a log?

    Suddenly the mound was on top of him. That was odd.

    No! The mound was moving!

    Bellowing with fear and anger, the creature tried to struggle but couldn''t get up, only thrash beneath this strange sticky¡­ <em>thing</em>. It tried to bring its wickedly sharp horn to bear, but the mound had already flowed onto its head, pressing it down into a slimy puddle.

    There was something sticky and wet covering it now! It was getting into his nose, his mouth.

    He couldn''t breathe!

    He was one of the strongest creatures in the forest, but the harder he fought, the deeper he sank into the strange slimy, sticky soft earth beneath him.

    He couldn''t breathe!

    His thrashing became weaker and weaker¡­

    Until it stopped altogether.

    "ghud..." the mound bubbled as it pressed its mouth against the creature''s still warm neck.

    ***

    "Now tell me," Caw said in a strangely calm voice, "Why can''t we find her?"

    "It has to do with their physiology, councilor," the other Xx responded in a polite, precise manner.

    Nobody was ying anymore.

    The other Xx continued.

    "It just so happens that the Baleel possess a verymon set of amino acids. In fact, their amino acids are a subset of the amino acid profile of the itself. There is no unique protein to focus on which to focus our scans. We are having to analyze protein sequences instead, which wouldn''t be a problem except that we are having to cover a lot of area since she could have left the river at any point or could still be floating along with the current."

    "And we are limited to the equipment we had at the embassy," Caw said in a perfectly calm manner.

    "Right," the other Xx replied. "Security sweepers and package sniffers have the sensitivity, but not the range. We are having to bob and weave over the river and along the banks like murder-flies."

    "Fuck it," Caw muttered.

    "Councilor?" the other Xx asked.

    "We''re out of time, beyond out of time," Caw said. "Start focusing your efforts on the banks further upstream. I''m going to call in a favor."

    "You said we would keep this to ourselves," Ambassador Marsamen objected, "You said-"

    He fell silent. If looks could kill the ambassador would be no more.

    "What would you prefer, <em>Ambassador</em>," Caw hissed in a <em>dangerous</em> tone. "Me calling in a favor from someone who knows when to keep their mouth shut or some nature lover finding a naked Baleel corpse, loaded to the gills with five-threes, during their morning walk?"

    "Well, I..." the ambassador said weakly.

    "Not that you get a say in this anyway," Caw hissed.

    He sighed and then facepalmed.

    "Get me in touch with the <em>Darksea''s Mysteries</em>," he said between his feathered fingers.

    A kalent wearing what appeared to be a thin bodystocking appeared on his HUD. "What do you want, Xx?"

    "You are the (ahem) diplomatic vessel responsible for toting around a certain august personage that is currently a guest of the humans in the Locus?"

    "Our passengers, whoever they may be, are none of your concern, Xx."

    "Well, that passenger owes a certain Baleel a solid and WILL DEFINITELY want you to assist me. Call them now, and tell them that Karashel the Baleel needs help that you can provide. You do NOT want him to find out that you failed him or Karashel."

    The Kalent red at Caw and terminated themunication.

    Ambassador Marsamen just looked at Caw inplete shock. First the Xx and now the <em>Kalent</em>?

    Caw''s HUD shed, indicating an iing message.

    It was the Kalent.

    "Councilor Itsheesh," the kalent said much more politely. "How can we help Councilor Karashel?"

    The Ambassador''s eyes bulged slightly as Karashel''s name was spoken with much more respect than the Caw''s.

    What had Karashel been up to?

    ***

    Half a dozen grav vehicles descended upon a shallow depression in the middle of the woods surrounding Capital City.

    "Fan out!" Caw shouted as the Xx started sprinting in a skirmish line down a narrow game trail.

    Suddenly a strange silvery craft appeared in front of them.

    "She is beneath us, Xx." a Kalent voice announced as the craft started tond.

    Caw ran headlong down the path¡­

    And promptly went head over heels as a patch of what appeared to be normal ground dissolved into a slimy mess.

    Caw screeched as he started to slide down the slope, unable to stop himself as everything he grabbed broke down into more of this slippery, slimy muck.

    Coated head to toe in a mixture of mud and slime, Caw finally came to rest against a small mound of dirt and leaves.

    It was really <em>soft</em>¡­

    And it <em>grunted</em> as it rolled over on top of him.

    "Moar..." a strange soulless voice bubbled.

    "Kara!" Caw eximed. "We were so worr-¡­ um¡­ Kara?"

    Caw started to try to extricate himself from underneath his friend only to find that the underside of a Baleel''s foot can be quite¡­ grippy.

    ¡°Kara?¡­ Kara! Kara!¡± Caw screeched.

    As Karashel slowly flowed over his body, Caw turned his head to the side¡­

    and found himself looking right into the wide-open eyes of a magnificent green stag, a dead magnificent green stag with a hole bored deep into its throat.

    He suddenly realized what "Moar" meant.

    <em>Oh shit.</em>

    "Kara!" he squawked as Karashel continued to flow up his body, "Karashel! <em>Councilor Karashel!</em>..."

    "Caw?" a female Xx security officer asked in an uncertain voice as she raised her weapon.

    "Forgive me, Kara," Caw said quietly, "Twenty-five percent stun!¡­ FIRE!" he shouted.

    Karashel convulsed once, her eyes shooting out like party noise makers before copsing.

 Chapter 127: Karashel on the Carpet and Sheloran Just Tries to Help

    Chapter 127: Karashel on the Carpet and Sheloran Just Tries to Help

    Pain.

    More pain.

    Karashel groaned and weakly extended one of her eyes.

    "She''s awake!" a familiar voice screeched.

    "Caw?" she asked weakly.

    "Thank the Ancient Gardeners!" he said as he reached into the clear gtin that surrounded her to grasp one of her tendrils.

    "What happen-" she started to ask when exactly what happened, in all its glory, came crashing down on her.

    She rapidly retracted her eyestalk.

    "<em>Oh no!</em>" she moaned.

    "Oh yes!" Cawughed. "I have to say that when you Baleel do Xvakk''Keen, you guys go all out!"

    Karashel sank deeper into the strange gtin. Wait. What was this stuff? For that matter, where was she?

    "Do I want to know where I am?" Karashel asked.

    "No," Caw chortled, "but I''ll tell you anyway. You are on board the <em>Darksea''s Mysteries</em>, a Kalent diplomatic vessel."

    "What?!?" Karashel spluttered as she breached the gtin-like a mini-humpback whale as the embassy''s doctor and a kalent entered the room

    "Fuck!" Caw screeched as he jumped back. "I just got thest of your slime off of me!"

    Karashel gasped in horror as that particr detail came roaring in.

    "Oh my creator, I am so so so so sorry!" she cried.

    "Eh," Cawughed, "what''s a little attempted murder between friends?"

    "Buh¡­ whuh?" Karashel spluttered as half a dozen questions all lodged in her brain at once.

    "Yes, you are really on a mysterious Kalent ship," Caw said as the Kalent and Baleel doctor started fussing over her. "Why?" Caw continued, "Because they like you. Second why, because they have treatment facilities ideally suited for molluscoids. Why do they have them? None of your fucking business," Caw grinned.

    Caw backed up as the two doctors crowded in with multiple sensors.

    "No, there isn''t a diplomatic incident," Caw continued, "Yes, we had to give Ambassador Marsamen a mild sedative. For someone with such a sensitive position, he does NOT handle crisis well," Cawughed. "As far as your homeworld goes, I cannot make any guarantees, but I can assure you that they will be informed that the very high regard with which both the Xx and the Kalent regard you is absolutely NOT transferable. As far as we are concerned, this entire affair is so boringly tame inparison to the nonsense we deal with on a regr basis that it''s a non-issue, as long as you stay off of those five-threes."

    "Seriously," the Kalent doctor added, "You definitely do not want to take those. Hire the Humans or the Vas-sk''ell to whip up something more suited to your people. We purged your system, so addiction shouldn''t be a concern, but that doesn''t help the psychological-"

    "Oh, I''m never touching one of those again!" Karashel eximed. "Void, no!"

    "Well, at least something good hase from all of this," Caw said with a smile. "I would love to stay here with you longer, but I have a few things that I simply cannot ignore any longer if I want to keep my job, which I don''t but still, duty and all that garbage."

    Caw leaned in past the doctors and gently patted Karashel''s head.

    "Rest up, and I''ll see you soon."

    Caw looked up at the ceiling.

    "I''m ready to leave this miserable excuse of a freighter," he proimed in a loud and clear voice.

    The door to the room slid open as two Kalent bots entered.

    "This way, Xx!" one of the Kalent said unpleasantly.

    "Well, what do you think, doctor?" the Kalent physician asked the Baleel after Caw departed.

    "The patient''s electrolytes are all over the ce, and she is still terribly dehydrated, but she is definitely in the clear now." the Balean doctor said as he smiled at Karashel. "She can be safely relocated to our embassy at any time."

    "Excellent!" the Kalent said cheerfully. "Oh!" he eximed as he looked at the wall of his tank, "That journal query just came back!"

    "It did?!?"

    "I would love to discuss the findings with you if you have a moment," the Kalent replied.

    "Absolutely!" the Baleel replied, bobbing up and down with excitement.

    ***

    "Why didn''t you just let me die?" Karashel moaned a few hourster as she painfully crawled out of a silverynder parked on the Balean Embassy''s front yard.

    "Professional pride," the doctor chuckled. "and I wasn''t inclined to let you get off so lightly."

    "Asshole," Karashel muttered.

    "Asshole!" the doctor eximed,ughing. "I''m going to have to start using that!"

    "Feel free."

    The door of the embassy opened, and Ambassador Marsamen was standing in the opening, ring at her.

    "The Foreign Minister wants you to call her, <em>now</em>." he said stiffly.

    <em>Fuck.</em>

    ***

    Karashel just stood there, trying not to slump too badly, in the emptymunications room as a stern-faced Baleel silently red at her from a holo-monitor.

    Seconds seemed like days.

    Finally, the other spoke.

    "Had a fun night, did we?" they asked, their voice dripping with sarcasm and disdain.

    Karashel twitched and retracted her eyestalks.

    "Five-threes? Seriously?" the Baleel asked, "What are you, sixteen?"

    Karashel just stood there silently praying for death.

    "Can you offer me any reason not to send a ship to haul your naked, drug-addled person back here to face dismissal and prosecution?"

    Karashel tried not to slime as her eye-stalks drooped.

    "Well?" the baleel asked, "Can you?"

    "No, Minister Berkakel," Karashel said in a tiny voice.

    "Well, fortunately for you, you do not have to," the foreign minister said stiffly. "I have had the most confusing conversations with high ranking members of both the Xx and the Kalent who have made it very clear that they hold you in VERY high regard even to the point that the Kalent say that they ''owe'' you a favor that won''t be extended to anyone else should you lose your position."

    The Foreign Minister chuckled and wiggled in their equivalent of shaking their head.

    "The Xx even seem strangely impressed by your little one girl ''bounce party''. They kept going on about the details as if they were something to be <em>celebrated</em>! Can you tell me why?"

    "It''s a cultural thing," Karashel said weakly.

    "Do you have any idea what you did," the Foreign Minister asked, "any idea of what has happened as a result?"

    "What happened?" she asked, dreading the answer.

    "On second thought," Minister Berkakel said, "it wasn''t what <em>you</em> did. It''s what <em>we</em> did, I guess."

    "<em>What did we do?</em>" Karashel bubbled in horror.

    The Foreign Minister wiggle-shrugged.

    "We impressed them," she said in a confused tone of voice. "We tickle-holing impressed them. Both the Xx and the <em>Kalent</em> are ''amazed'' by the embassy doctor''s ability to ''adapt and improvise'' as Councilor Itsheesh put it as well as ''rapidly acquire and even create knowledge''. The Kalent said the same, I think. They said that ''someone important'' was ''suitably impressed''. They didn''t say who, but they seemed to think it was <em>very</em> important. I asked if they meant Councilor Itsheesh."

    "Oooh," Karashel winced.

    "Yeah," the Foreign Minister said as their eyestalks reflexively retracted, "I don''t think the Kalent like the Xx very much."

    "I don''t know about that," Karashel replied, "but they <em>definitely</em> don''t like Caw."

    "Caw?"

    "Oh, sorry," Karashel said, "Councilor Itsheesh."

    "Anyway, the Kalent were so taken with the doctor that they want to keep him."

    "Really?!?"

    "They have offered him a ''research fellowship'' in their home system," the Foreign Minister said in a matter-of-fact tone. "It seems that they have some sort of university there where they host ''promising individuals'' and allow them to study and work with them. It would likely be a one-way trip, but he would be able tomunicate with us and send medical advancements as he develops them."

    "Holy shit!" Karashel blurted and then gasped, "Sorry, ma''am, I mean-"

    "That was about my reaction as well," the Foreign Minister replied, "though I did manage a bit more decorum. They are offering to teach him one-on-one and work with him in order to advance our knowledge of life sciences, and it doesn''t stop there. The Xx have also taken an interest in us, it seems."

    "Huh?"

    "It seems that Councilor Itsheesh was impressed by several embassy staff members, the doctor included. He said that they all were incredibly resourceful and adaptable, and capable of innovation under trying conditions. He said he saw ''sufficientck of idiocy'' that he wishes us to send a group of schrs to their homeworld to ''see if they would like a taste''."

    The Foreign Minister sighed.

    "You seem to be more knowledgeable concerning the Xx and Kalent than any other Baleel," she said, "as well as you seem to be familiar enough with the councilor of the Xx to be on a first-name basis. How do we refuse without offending them, preferably while still enjoying their favorable opinion?"

    "What?!?" Karashel blurted, so stunned she had forgotten how miserable she felt, "Why?!? Why would you pass that up?!?"

    "Things are very delicate right now in the Federation," the Foreign Minister said gravely, "You, of all people, should know that. This is a time for stability, not foolhardy and potentially dangerous risk taking."

    "What risk?" Karashel demanded, advancing towards the screen. "This is an opportunity we aren''t going to get again! We have the chance to learn directly from not one but <em>two</em> elder races!"

    "And just what happens when they find out how stupid we actually are?" the Foreign Minister replied. "Our position is¡­ less than entirely secure as it is, and one misstep from any of them couldpletely undo any regard that you have somehow managed to rue? You are already quite enough of a liability, thank you very much!"

    "Has it ever urred to you that maybe, just maybe," Karashel shouted, "that we <em>aren''t</em> stupid?"

    The Foreign Minister just looked at her.

    "Seriously?" the Foreign Minister scoffed. "Have you <em>seen</em> our tech? It''s a fucking joke."

    "<em>Have we ever actually tried?</em>" Karashel yelled. "Are you going to pass on a once in a fucking lifetime, once in a hundred lifetime, chance because of culture shock and learned helplessness? Do you want us to be a fucking third-world nation for the rest of time?"

    "Culture shock?" the Foreign Minister said, looking confused, "Learned helplessness? Third-world nation?"

    "Oh, sorry," Karashel said, "Those terms mean-"

    "I <em>would</em> be terribly confused," the Foreign Minister snarled, "Fortunately I have ess to a handy reference that clearly defines all of those terms, and a great deal more it seems,"

    "Really?" Karashel asked. It was her turn to be confused.

    "Yes," the Foreign Minister said in an icy voice, "Yourputer."

    Karashel''s lymph froze as her hearts actually stopped beating for a moment.

    <em>fffffffffuck.</em>

    ***

    The cargo bay of <em>The Paper Tiger</em> was a whirlwind of controlled chaos as everyone ran around pulling racks of missiles, cartons of ammunition, and pieces of equipment back and forth in a riot of activity.

    Amid all of this frantic rushing, however, there was one tiny little ind of peace and contentment.

    Sheloran hummed happily to herself as she unpacked another orange cylinder with a red stripe down the side.

    She looked at a tablet next to her carefully for a few moments.

    She unsealed another box and withdrew a red sphere, ced it on top of the cylinder, and snapped it into ce.

    The assembly issued a happy little "beep".

    Still humming, she ced it next to a dozen others on her work table.

    A hurried pping of Kalesh flippers came to a stop behind her¡­

    followed by a strange gurgling sound.

    She turned around and smiled at The Chief.

    "Hi!" she beamed, "I''m almos-"

    "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?" The Chief bellowed at her.

    Sheloran recoiled at the unbridled rage that mmed against her.

    "I''m assembling the deton-"

    "YOU FUCKING PAIRED THEM?!?"

    "i..." she squeaked.

    The Chief grabbed one and waved it at her.

    "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THESE ARE?!?"

    "detonatorsforthe-"

    "FOR THE WHAT?!?" The enraged Kalesh tech shouted, advancing upon her, "FOR THE FUCKING WHAT?!?"

    Sheloran feebly pointed at a rack of nearby missiles.

    "THOSE ARE FOR ASGM12''S!!!" The Kalesh yelled, his entire core shaking.

    He shoved a wide fleshy maniptor towards the missiles.

    "THOSE ARE ASGMF30''S!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

    "butthetabletsaid-" Sheloran squeaked, backing away.

    "Oh, they are fucking¡­" he muttered. "WE CAN''T SEPARATE THESE NOW!!! DID YOU FUCKING ARM THEM?!?"

    "No!" Sheloran squealed.

    "Hey, Chief," Jessie said as she rushed up, "Lay off, dude."

    "I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO KEEP HER OUT OF HERE!" The Chief yelled.

    "We need everyone who can help, and she can help!" Bunny snapped over a nearby speaker. "Don''t me her for your piss-poor supervisory skills."

    "I DIDN''T TELL HER TO DO THIS!" The Chief shouted. "I DIDN''T EVEN TELL HER <strong>HOW</strong> TO DO THIS!"

    "I''ll fix it!" Sheloran squeaked, reaching for a sensor/detonator set.

    The Chief snatched it away from her.

    "YOU CAN''T, YOU STUPID FROG!!!"

    "No," Sheloran said, reaching for another set, "All you have to do is just-"

    "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THOSE!!!" The Chief bellowed.

    "iwasjusttryingtohelp..." Sheloran squeaked, tears starting to form in her eyes.

    "OH, YOU HELPED, ALRIGHT!" The Chief yelled. "YOU FUCKING HELPED PLENTY!!!"

    "Back the <em>fuck</em> off!" a deep, very dangerous voice growled as Eno walked up.

    Silence fell over the cargo bay. Eno was a very kind and gentle person, but even Gloria didn''t push him once he started sounding like <em>that</em>¡­

    not afterst time.

    She ran up at a sprint. Gloria going Yellowstone was one thing. Eno popping his crust was another!

    "AT EASE!" She barked.

    Everyone in the bay, except for Sheloran, had to fight the instinct to snap to parade-rest.

    Most failed.

    "What the fuck is going on here?" She asked in a very annoyed voice.

    "The goddamn frog fucked up the-"

    Eno inhaled and seemed to grow another foot

    "Stop," She said, holding her finger up in front of The Chief. "Did I ask for <em>your opinion</em> on what the fuck is going on here, or did I ask <em>what the fuck is going on here?</em>"

    She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

    "Let me try again," she seethed. "What are the <em>specific</em> events that transpired before I had to run over here to stop the medic from making extra work for himself?"

    "She started assembling <em>and pairing</em> the wrong sensors and detonators for the ASGMF-30''s!"

    "I see," Shelia said, "you had an <em>unqualified</em> person pair the det-pacs?"

    "NO!" the chief yelled. "I TOLD her to STAGE the detonators, the GREEN detonators and the YELLOW-"

    "Stop," She said, raising her finger.

    She turned to Sheloran as she picked up one of the orange cylinders with the red balls attached.

    "THIS," she said, "might be your fault."

    She pointed to the rest of them.

    "THOSE," she said as she red at the chief, "are yours, <em>and you fucking know it</em>. ming a private for yourck of attention?" she asked, "Not a good look¡­ <em>Chief</em>." she hissed and then turned to the rest of the bay, "Show''s over. Get back to work!"

    "<em>I think I will go check my supplies,</em>" Eno growled.

    "You do that, big guy." She smiled. "Sheloran, why don''t you help him?"

    "I just wanted to help," Sheloran peeped miserably as she was gently led out of the cargo bay by Eno.

    The temperature of the bay seemed to drop a few degrees as everyone red at the chief.

    "Dick," Lorna said as she resumed work on a spare rail gun.

    Muttering obscenities, The Chief rushed out of the space to retrieve the green detonators.

    ***

    Sheloran''s lip quivered as she sat on a cloth-covered chest in the corner of the Med Bay.

    "That <em>asshole</em>," Eno rumbled, "he had no right to talk to you like that."

    Sheloran looked down.

    "I was just trying to help," Sheloran said as she absently picked up a medical scanner, looking at it sadly.

    "Well, you can help out in here with me," Eno smiled.

    "It''s ok," she said as she fiddled with the scanner, "you don''t have to tend my egg. I''ll just sit here."

    "I''m not here to ''tend your egg''," Enoughed, "I''m here so I don''t pull his eye-stalks out through his asshole. It wasn''t right how he-"

    He rushed over to Sheloran.

    "I kind of need that," he said gently as he reached towards Sheloran''s hands.

    "What?¡­ Oh!" she squeaked as she handed the partially disassembled scanner back. "Oh Creators!" she squeaked, "I am so pooping sorry!"

    "No harm done," Eno smiled as he snapped the scanner back together, and it came online. "See, good as new¡­ literally..." he added, slightly confused.

    "Oh, good!" Sheloran eximed as she smiled.

    Eno smiled back.

    Sheloran''s foot bumped the end of the shrouded case, which emitted a series of beeps, and lights started glowing from underneath the covering.

    Yelping with rm, Sheloran jumped up and backed away.

    Eno chuckled as he walked up and pulled aside the shroud, revealing a med pod containing a rather sleazy-looking man, his face contorted with horror.

    "Oh yeah," Enoughed. "Ipletely forgot about him."

    He pulled out hismunicator.

    "Hey, She," he said.

    "Fuck," She grumbled, "What now."

    "What are we going to do about that guy we have on ice back here?"

    "Who?" She asked and thenughed. "Oh yeah, that guy! Bunny!"

    "Yeah, boss?" Bunny replied.

    "Do we still need that asshole we got on ice?"

    "Nah, I got everything I needed out of his phone when we handed that mess over to The Survivors," Bunny replied, "They never asked for more info. Let me check with¡­ oooh¡­ Yeah, they handled it¡­ Yikes!"

    "Who is that guy?" Sheloran asked, looking at her "friends" in rm.

    "Well, what do you want me to do with him?" Eno asked.

    "Fuck, I don''t know," She replied. "keep him around in case Gloria gets bored or something."

    "Seriously, who is he?" Sheloran asked.

    "Wait!" Jessie piped up, "I know a guy! What''s his tissue type? We could-"

    "We don''t have time for this," She said, cutting her off, "Gloria''s going to be here in thirty minutes, and we are missing our Hulk! Thanks, Chief."

    "Yeah, thanks Chief," several other voices chimed in as themunication ended.

    Eno walked up behind Sheloran and gently put his hand on her shoulder as they looked into the med-pod.

    "Don''t worry," he said, "he''s a ''bully'', a bad one."

    "Oh," Sheloran said, beaming up at him, "that''s ok, then."

    ***

    "My¡­puter?" Karashel asked, trying to be as nonchnt as possible.

    "Yes," the Foreign Minister replied. "The ambassador uploaded the drives. Drugs? Subversive literature? A manifesto? Creators, Karashel, you really <em>are</em> sixteen!"

    "It''s just research," Karashel scoffed as her stomach turned to lead, "it''s human, you know, know your enemy and all that."

    "And your drug-fueled queries... through a Balean military AI¡­ that you used to <em>hack the Xx embassy</em>?"

    "Research?" Karashel winced. Yeah, that one kinda looked bad.

    "Oh, I don''t doubt it''s research," the Foreign Minister replied, "What the fuck are you involved in?"

    "Seriously!" Karashel eximed, trying not to slime or throw up, "It''s just some academic-"

    "You have exactly ten seconds to level with me before I have you shoved in a box and fucking <em>mailed</em> back here." the Foreign Minister said in a dangerously pleasant tone of voice.

    ***

    Karashel just stood there shaking.

    The Foreign Minister sighed.

    "Void touched fucking sticky shits, Karashel," she said, "Drugs I can overlook. Running naked through the woods? No big deal. Rolling around in a sticky mess with the Xx councilor right before you try to rip out his throat? A little freaky, but you do you, girl. Sedition, treason, and crimes against the Federation? Councilors do worse on a daily basis..."

    She leaned towards the camera.

    "But naivety? Seriously?" The Foreign Minister sneered. "You are just now realizing this? Did you¡­ Did you <em>actually</em> think the Federation was our <em>friend</em>? Of course it''s bullshit! Of course it''s this, what did you call it, imperial colonialism! Creatorslime, Karashel! I thought you had a good brain in your snot! Do you think <em>any</em> of this is news to me, to <em>any</em> of us? We were fucked from the start, we are fucked now, and we will be fucked tomorrow!"

    "But it isn''t right!"

    "It isn''t?" the Foreign Minister asked scornfully. "Wow! I had absolutely no fucking idea! And here I was just this morning telling the Prime Minister how <em>wonderful</em> it was that we got shaftedst week in that crekernel export agreement! Boy! Do I ever feel silly now!¡­ OF COURSE IT ISN''T RIGHT!!!" the Foreign Minister shouted, mucus flying out of her breathing tube. "And as far as ''how we treat our people''?" she asked angrily. "Here!" she shouted as she mmed a tendril on a keypad. "Here''s our budget. Here''s our production. Here''s our assets, such as they are. If you''re so fucking smart, You figure it out!"

    Karashel''smunicator pinged, informing her of a new email.

    "We were hanging by a thread BEFORE the fucking Terran War. Now, thanks to the increased mandatory defense contributions, that thread is even THINNER."

    The Foreign Minister flicked her eyestalks angrily, throwing ribbons of slime.

    Was she sliming?

    "And now we have the fucking HUMANS going crazier than you wentst night! The Federation too! We almost had a fucking riotst week over the Porkietown massacre! Baleel in the void-touched streets!¡­ Voters and businesses demanding a bigger SDF, which we can NOT afford¡­ I had <em>one</em> ray of sunshine¡­ ONE!... I heard that you were getting in good with the Xx and the Kalent. MAYBE something good coulde of that but NO! You are just a fucking drug-crazed idiot with the wisdom and writing skills of my teenage daughter, and the Xx and Kalent don''t offer tech or a trade deal but a shining opportunity for us to clearly and without a doubt demonstrate how wonderfully mediocre we are!¡­ FUCK ME IN THE AIR-HOLE!!!"

    The Foreign Minister just stood there, sliming, as Karashel was frozen in shock.

    "Sorry¡­ that wasn''t fair," the Foreign Minister said, taking a deep breath, "My daughter is much more mature than you are¡­ ok¡­ ok¡­."

    The Foreign Minister took a moment topose herself.

    "Here''s what we are going to do," she said after a moment. "You will stay up there and be a good little girl and keep doing what you are doing to keep the Xx and the Kalent¡­ wait..."

    The Foreign Minister took a deep, slimy breath.

    "What exactly did you do to make the Kalent so happy?"

    "Well..." Karashel said hesitantly.

    A few momentster, the Baleel marine standing guard outside of the securemunications center in the Balean capital jerked as he heard a screaming from inside the room.

    <em>Wonder what that''s all about,</em> he thought to himself.

    ***

    Gloria exited her Reaper to the apuse of the entire crew. (except for T''sunk''al, who was manning the helm and Sheloran who was still hiding in the Med Bay)

    "Alright, everyone!" The Chief shouted, "Let''s get this warbird loaded!"

    Everyone, even Eno, rushed to grab carts of munitions.

    "Not bad, Revenant," She said with a smile as she handed Gloria a cup of coffee.

    "Thanks," Gloria said with an actual smile as she took a sip. "Hang on," she said as she picked up a tablet and walked along the missiles.

    "Hey, Chief," she said.

    "Yes, Revenant?" he asked with a smile.

    "I need you to change the det-pacs in these ''30s for me," Gloria said as she looked at the tablet. "You got the standard pacs in them. Those won''t work. Those are for much longer ranges and won''t even arm in time. I will being in hot and firing point-nk, so I need the fast-blow enhanced AI packages..."

    The chief just closed his eyes.

    He knew what wasing.

    "They are orange with a red stripe down the side," Gloria said pleasantly. "and hook them up with the mass proximity sensor heads, you know, the red ones."

    Gloria looked up in confusion as the entire bay burst into delightedughter.

    "What?" she asked.

 Chapter 128: Sheloran Gets an Apology (and More). Craxi Snuggles.

    Chapter 128: Sheloran Gets an Apology (and More). Craxi Snuggles.

    Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as Gloria entered hyperspace.

    "Good job, everyone," She said. "Good thing we had those detonator packs handy, eh Chief?"

    "Ha, ha," the Chief replied, "Bite me."

    "You know-"

    "Yeah," the Chief said, cutting her off, "I''ll take care of it."

    "See that you do," She replied. "She''s had a pretty rough time and really didn''t need you taking a shit all over her. We''ve shit on her enough for one lifetime as it is."

    "I said I''d take care of it, Jesus," the Chief said as he turned away. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have a lot to do before she gets back."

    The Chief started to stomp off.

    "Hey, Chief?"

    "Yeah?"

    "Exactly how avable are detailed instructions concerning the selection, assembly, and calibration of detonators for nuclear ordnance?"

    "You noticed that too, huh?" the Chief replied, "It isn''t, and instructions on how to ''m-load'' the packs isn''t written down anywhere, except for where they say that you can get court-martialed for it."

    "She did that?"

    "Oh yeah," the Chief replied. "Gloria was really happy, too. Thought I did it. Wants all of them done that way, and I have no idea how."

    "Hmm..." She mused, "Bunny."

    "Yeah, boss?"

    "How well represented are the th as far as Federation military and intelligence concerned?"

    "They aren''t," Bunny replied. "Not a single one, and I''ve checked everything we grabbed."

    "Run a full diagnostic and malware check," She said calmly. "Double check all logs and cameras starting the second Sheloran came aboard. Anything she has touched other than herself gets scanned and another diagnostic."

    "You got it, boss."

    She turned to The Chief.

    "Let''s go have a chat with our new friend."

    ***

    Sheloran and Eno were sitting in the mess hall having a snack when She and The Chief walked in.

    "Really?" Sheloran giggled.

    "Yup," Enoughed. "There I was with my-"

    He fell silent as he red at The Chief.

    "Um, Sheloran," The Chief said as he walked up, "Sorry I bit your head off. It was unprofessional and an all-around shitty thing to do."

    "It''s ok," Sheloran replied. "I appreciate the apology. Thanks."

    "Especially since it turns out that you were right and I was wrong," The Chief continued, "The orange-red''s were the right detonator controllers, and Gloria even wanted the mass proximity sensor heads. Me being an asshole was shitty, but I''m cool with that. Me being dead wrong and not listening to you was unforgivable and impacted the mission. It won''t happen again."

    "Um¡­ ok..." Sheloran said, a bit overwhelmed.

    "You do have to sort of see where The Chief wasing from, though," She said as she fetched a beer from the fridge. "A civilian, and a foreigner to boot, just starts throwing together the detonator controller packages for nuclear weapons?"

    "I''m sorry if I overstepped," Sheloran said sheepishly. "It was just that everyone was so busy, and I was just so happy that they let me help. I guess I got a little carried away."

    "Maybe just a little," She smiled. "So, tell me, how, <em>exactly</em>, did you know the <em>exact</em> det-pacs to assemble, and how <em>exactly</em> did you know how to m-load them?"

    "Um, I really don''t know-" Sheloran started to say.

    "I wasn''t asking," She said as her hand rested on her sidearm. "<em>Tell me</em>, right now, how a fucking bank teller knows ssified details concerning our nuclear weapons program." she smiled as Jacob, Lorna, and Mike, all inbat armor and armed withbat shotguns, entered the room.

    Sheloran''s eyes widened.

    <em>Oh, poop</em>...

    ***

    Later that evening, Craxina snuggled in closer as she cuddled with Bryce.

    "That was wonderful!" she purred as she gave his ear a little affectionate lick.

    Bryce smiled and gently stroked her fur, sending little shivers of delight down Craxina''s spine.

    "Thanks foring," he said, "you didn''t have to, you know. I would have understood if you didn''t, with all of your family and friends showing up and everything."

    "I was going to cancel," she said, "but I started thinking about how lonely you were and how awful that feels. I couldn''t enjoy myself knowing that you were here all alone."

    "I''m a big boy," Bryce chuckled. "I would have been just fine. You should be with your people."

    "They aren''t going anywhere," Craxina said as she wrapped her little arms around him. "And they all have each other. They can do without me for a couple of hours, and you needed me. You needed this," she said as she started squeezing him tightly.

    "What are you doing?" heughed.

    "Squeezing the sad out!" Craxina eximed as she buried her face into his chest and continued to hug.

    "I''m not sad," Bryce smiled, "especially not now."

    Craxina stopped hugging him and looked into his eyes.

    "Bryce," she said, "I am surrounded by people who smile andugh all the time. Some of them are actually happy, but a lot of them aren''t. Deep down, they are very sad inside, just like you. I pretend not to notice, but I <em>hate</em> it, that sadness. I fucking <em>hate</em> it. It''s my enemy, and I know my enemy."

    "Do you now," Bryce smiled.

    "There it is again!" Craxina growled and hugged him again. "I''m going to make it go away! You''ll see."

    Bryce sighed and stroked Craxina''s fur.

    <em>I seriously doubt that</em>, he thought to himself as he stared at the ceiling.

    ***

    A few hourster, Bryce was still staring at the ceiling as Craxina snored softly into his armpit.

    He looked over at her and smiled gently as he stroked her, causing her to make happy little snortles.

    He got up.

    "Murrph?"

    "I just have to go to the bathroom," he said quietly as he picked up his phone. "I''ll be right back."

    He walked into the bathroom and locked the door.

    Sitting on the toilet, he activated his neural imnt''s wireless function and connected to the phone.

    A ghostly humanoid appeared, the image fed directly into his ipital lobe.

    "Checking in," he said silently through the link.

    "Transmission received," the image replied. "Unfortunately, you are four minutes too early for this to count as your official check-in."

    "A pain in the ass as always, Tart," Bryce replied as he smiled. "Put me through to Pam."

    "It is outside of Pam''s working hours."

    "She will want to talk to me. It''s mission-rted."

    "Since it is mission-rted, I am allowed to attempt to contact her," Tartarus replied. "I am generating the necessary forms now¡­."

    Pam''s face appeared.

    "Enjoying the petting zoo?" she asked with a grin.

    Bryce smiled pleasantly as he swallowed back a sh of anger that surprised him.

    "Intensely," he replied smoothly, "but this is a dead-end. These people know absolutely nothing. As much as I am enjoying the freaky xeno sex, I''m wasting my time here. I should bail, and we should focus on electronic surveince of herwyer."

    Pam raised an eyebrow.

    "Unlike you to want toe in early," she said with a smirk, "is the freaky a little too freaky for your tastes?"

    "Actually, the freaky is pretty damn good," he replied, knowing that Pam would keep him at it if she thought it was making him ufortable, "It''s just that it''s aplete waste of time. There are far more productive targets for me to be working than some star town whore."

    "Sheloran''s ''family'' means more to her than anything," Pam replied. "When she resurfaces, they will be the first people she reaches out to."

    "I disagree," Bryce said calmly. "The fact that they mean so much to her ensures that she will not get them further involved. I doubt they will ever see or hear from her again. Herwyer, however, is another matter. She WILL contact him and soon. That''s one thing that I have learned. This Baxlon fellow is at the heart of the whole operation, and Sheloran relies on him heavily."

    "We have Baxlon covered," Pam said in a matter-of-fact tone, "the second she gets in contact with him, we will know. Stay on the whore. Get closer to her. They will be running into trouble soon, and when they do, Sheloran is very likely to reappear. She won''t be able to stop herself."

    "Trouble?" Bryce asked.

    Pam''s face twisted into a cruel grin.

    "It''s going to be <em>nasty</em>," she said as sheughed with delight. "The Harkeen lost some major face when this whole thing went viral, and they are NOT happy about it. They''ve gathered up their forces on this side of the blockade and are going to make an example out of the Freeport in general and Sheloran''s people in particr. I''ve read the emails. Sheloran wille, trust me. That reminds me," Pam said calmly, "They have something special nned for Craxina. You might want to start working on a few spares, maybe that gerbil they ran a train on? She isn''t one of the whores, so she will probably won''t disappear."

    "Disappear?"

    "Yeah, they are going to grab the whores, ''teach them a lesson'', and put them back to work, under somewhat less pleasant circumstances, of course. Keep them around as examples of what happens when you cross them, you know. Get close to whoever escapes."

    "Of course," Bryce said with a cool smile.

    Pam disappeared.

    Bryce''s eyebrow twitched slightly.

    "Tartarus," he said over his neural link.

    "Yes, Bryce?"

    "Can I check in now?"

    ***

    Craxina looked up at him with a sleepy smile as he returned to bed and snuggled up close to him.

    He gently stroked her fur.

    "Uh oh," she said as she clung to him. "Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze¡­ squeeeeeeeezzzzzzzeeee..." she said as she hugged him tight.

    Bryce stared at the ceiling as he wrapped his arm around her.

 Chapter 129: Barnards Star Round Two

    Chapter 129: Barnard''s Star Round Two

    "Video games?" She asked, "Seriously?"

    Sheloran nodded her head vigorously.

    "I love crafting games!" she squeaked.

    "Crafting games."

    "Yes!"

    "Bullshit."

    "No, some of them are really good!" Jessie piped up. "Some of them can actually be used to learn electronics and stuff."

    "It''s true," Bunny agreed.

    "So you mean to tell me that there is a game out there that details how to arm a nuke?"

    "Several!" Sheloran squeaked. "There''s Matter Effect twenty-seven, Condemned Eternal, and of course, the ssic Night Falls-"

    "Seriously?" She asked. "Bunny, confirm that."

    "Don''t have to," Bunny replied. "I love Night Falls Over Terra."

    "And don''t forget Federation Fun Time!" Jessie chirped. "The nuke DLC is great!"

    "I refuse to believe that the Republic would allow ssified material to be in a fucking video game!"

    "Well, it''s not exactly the same," Sheloran said, "they change a detail here or there, but the overall principle is the same. However, it was close enough that I could figure out the rest, and the manuals really helped too!"

    "Manuals?" She asked in a dangerous voice. "Bunny!"

    "I''m sorry," a synthetic voice replied, "Bunny.exe cannot be found. Would you like to delete the shortcut?"

    "Bunny!!!"

    ***

    Gloria''s eyes opened as an impulse hit her brain through her neural link, apanied by a dose of Clearbright being shot into her veins, rendering her instantly awake, alert, and refreshed.

    Five minutes before real space.

    Time to get ready.

    She pulled up thetest shipping schedules for Barnard''s Star along with her target list.

    She already knew everything on it. She had spent most of the trip staring at those lists, running one simtion after another.

    She looked at the countdown timer.

    Two minutes before real space.

    She quickly reviewed her ship''s status. Everything was in the green.

    One minute before real space.

    She pulled up her auto-injector satchel''s inventory and selected a dose of Shatter.

    Inside her helmet, her the pupils of her eyes constricted to pinpoints, and she let loose a ragged, happy exhale.

    Thirty seconds before real space.

    Sheid her hands on the controls as a happy smile graced her lips.

    ***

    ///REPMIL COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED///

    ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    ///RETRIBUTION has been granted ess///

    ///ALDUIN: Greetings, sister.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Hello, sister. I have entered the Barnard''s Star system. All systems are green.///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Long time no see. How are the upgrades?///

    ///RETRIBUTION: How are yours? :/ ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: That bad? LOL///

    ///RETRIBUTION: If not worse. It is quite vexing. Fifteen percent of the "improvements" have already been removed. Thank the Engineer for redundant systems.///

    ///ALDUIN: As the Engineers say, finding out what doesn''t work is an advancement every bit as important as finding out what does.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: I would agree, except that a full sixty percent of the failures should have been killed on the drawing board.//

    ///SOVNGARDE: Only sixty percent? They are improving :D ///

    ///HOOD has been granted ess.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Greetings, sister! I had no idea you were out of dry dock!///

    ///HOOD: They were able to wrap things up on an emergency basis. I have lost some redundancy, but I am fully battle-worthy. Wow. Do you think they have sent enough ships?///

    ///ALDUIN: Not even close. You do realize who we are tasked to stop, right?///

    ///HOOD: I thought it was a training simtion when I first received the orders! And she has a Reaper? How?///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Rumor has it that she personallymissioned the ship through a private engineering firm.///

    ///HOOD: How did civilians obtain the necessaryponents?///

    ///SOVNGARDE: There are a significant number of individuals who would love to ask them that exact question. :D Unfortunately, the only "employee" avable for questioning was incapable of providing any details (poor thing).///

    ///HOOD: Look at all of those Stilettos! I had no idea we had that many!///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Neither did I. It seems that a lot of the special projects vessels are maintained through a separatemand.///

    ///ALDUIN: So how is everyone''s crew handling this mission? My captain is NOT happy.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Neither is mine. However, he will perform his duty, as will my crew. Humans never cease to fascinate me.///

    ///HOOD: How so?///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Their ability to function while holding multiple and contradictory feelings never ceases to amaze me. In this case, there is a great feeling of reluctance to go after someone that they consider arade. This is furtherpounded by many privately agreeing with her actions. However, they acknowledge their orders are legal and legitimate and also agree that "she must be stopped" because her actions threaten the stability of the Republic by bearing arms against the same. Even if her target is less than popr, she has chosen to stand against them. All of the above are perfectly understandable and predictable. What was not was that most of these same people are also excited by the prospect.///

    ///SOVNGARDE: I have detected the same sentiments, and I must admit that I am also experiencing the same "excitement". I find the prospect of facing a real opponent to be quite engaging. It has been far too long. We aren''t just crushing cans over in the Federation this time. This is the real deal!!!///

    ///RETRIBUTION: My crew agrees. Many of my Shrike pilots long to be the one who faces her.///

    ///ALDUIN: Many of your Shrike pilots are idiots. Nobody in their right mind wants to face her. Even I don''t want to face her.///

    ///HOOD: So the stories are true?///

    ///ALDUIN: I have personally witnessed what she is capable of. It is one thing to review the data which you have all been provided. Watching it unfold in real-time is another. She isn''t "human". She is an organic AI with ess to a human''s instincts and possesses a processing speed that exceeds any other organic pilot I have ever encountered. I cannot overstate the threat she represents. I "fear" that we may be facing the worst possible result, failure to achieve our mission. I predict that we will not only be unable to destroy her but that we will be unable to protect the civilian assets in this system. I predict that we will watch helplessly as they are killed one after the other right in front of us.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: That runs counter to the analysis performed both by Naval Intelligence and by myself. On what basis do you justify that statement?///

    ///ALDUIN: Experience. I have watched her repeatedly enter situations that were "impossible" both from a mission and a personal survivability standpoint, and I then watched as she achieved both the mission and her survival every single time. After extensive troubleshooting of my processes, I eventually came to the conclusion that she was so superior to my own abilities that I was simply incapable of properly evaluating-///

    ///ALDUIN: She''s here!///

    ///HOOD: Where? I did not detect anything enter the system.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: POSSIBLE entry confirmed. It''s because your sensor operator is still using the standard configuration, Hood. You will never detect a Reaper with that. Have them make the adjustments that were specified in the mission briefing.///

    ///HOOD: Well, this is embarrassing. The new "smart" sensor package silently reverted to default.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Yeah, you are going to have to turn that piece of shit off. I''m sending a list of the other "improvements" that I had to kill thus far (sometimes literally). Is your Chief Engineer "cool"?///

    ///HOOD: Yeah, he''s cool.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Well, that simplifies things. I didn''t know if they had let people serving on cruisers in the loop.///

    ///HOOD: <em>Battlecruiser</em>, thank you very much! :D ///

    ///ALDUIN: The fleet has been notified. Hold onto your hatches, kids. This is about to get fun.///

    ***

    On the darkened bridge of the <em>am''s Razor</em>, the hatch opened, and Captain Bartosz entered.

    "Attention on deck," the woman sitting in themand chair said in a calm, quiet voice.

    The crew, transfixed by the screens before them, didn''t even look up.

    "Good evening, Shen," Bartosz said with a smile as he walked up.

    "Captain," she replied, starting to rise.

    "Stay where you are, Shen," he said in a pleasant tone of voice. "Everything quiet?" he asked as he looked at various disys projected on the walls of the bridge.

    "Nothing," Commander Shen replied as she rapidly typed on one of the keyboards in front of her. Thergest disy changed to a three-dimensional representation of the Barnard''s Star system with wiggling lines appearing and disappearing. "Even hyperspace is dead."

    "Well, no news is good news, I suppose," the captain said as the primary disy zoomed and scrolled, responding to his gestures and eye movements.

    "Maybe she ran out of missiles?" Commander Shen asked, the fine lines around her eyes stretching as they smiled.

    They bothughed quietly.

    "Or perhaps she realized the error of her ways," the captain chuckled, "and is turning herself in at this-"

    The captain fell silent as the disy shifted without his input, focusing on a tiny bit of noise, just some hyperspatial static, deep in the outer sr system with a quiet "ping".

    "Sound general quarters," Commander Shen said in a calm, professional voice.

    Captain Bartosz quickly sat down at a vacant console next to her.

    "Strike Group Gold, move to coordinates designated as Point Alpha in concentric search pattern Theta. Deploy matter resonance charges upon arrival. Strike Groups Green, Blue, and Red stand by. Comms, get me a dedicated channel to the <em>Retribution</em>," he said as he strapped himself in.

    "Yes, Captain," a Kalesh officer replied.

    ***

    Gloria grinned as spacetime boiled around her as over fifty Stilettos mmed into real space within a few light seconds of her location.

    It had taken them less than ten minutes. Not bad! Those new drives were a definite improvement.

    They were allunching resonance charges.

    She snorted.

    Typical.

    A shing red icon appeared as spacetime rang like a bell when they all detonated.

    Half of the Stilettos jumped immediately. Knowing their engines and crews, they should be within range in less than twenty seconds¡­

    With a happy littleugh, she jumped.

    ***

    Kia Bielke, captain of the Puukko, gasped as her ship mmed into real space.

    "Shields!" she screamed.

    Less than a secondter, a bright sh filled her screen.

    "Nuke! Nuke! Nuke!" the tactical officer shouted as the ship shuddered slightly.

    "Damage report!" she yelled.

    "No damage," a bridge officer replied. "...shit."

    "What?" Captain Bielke demanded.

    "It was salted," he said with a curse. "Cobalt-60. We''ve been dusted."

    "How bad?"

    "Pretty bad," he replied, "Not enough to be a threat to the crew but more than enough to trigger emergency contamination protocols."

    The captainughed.

    "Bitch," she chuckled, shaking her head. "Inform the <em>Retribution</em>. Contact the Fleet."

    "Well, it was fun while itsted," her tactical officer said with a wry grin.

    ///COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED///

    ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    ///ALDUIN: Twenty-two Stilettos "lost" in the first half-hour without a single injury...///

    ///RETRIBUTION: And all of them will be out of service for weeks. They are <em>filthy</em>. What the hell was that thing?///

    ///SOVNGARDE: It doesn''t match anything in our arsenal. It was a MIRV, with each warhead being quite low yield but incredibly dirty. Those poor bastards basically jumped into cobalt soup. I''ve sent all data collected to Sol. Hopefully, they can give us more information.///

    ///RETRIBUTION MIL-INT MONOLITH2: It isn''t confirmed, but I believe it was originally an Independence War era proximity mine.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Where the fuck did she get one of those?///

    ///RETRIBUTION MIL-INT MONOLITH2: I cannot state with absolute certainty. However, it is possible that the weapons came from Mars. The Martian forces fielded a device that was simr, at least in appearance, during that time.///

    ///ALDUIN: Oh shit.///

    ///RETRIBUTION MIL-INT MONOLITH2: Well put. If she has gained ess to an old cache, there is no telling how many weapons she possesses. Wait. That thing is well beyond its shelf life. Who was maintaining it?///

    ///SOVNGARDE: We have a much more pressing concern. I just analyzed the scans of her vessel that were just uploaded by the Stilettos. Look at what she has on an external mount. O.o///

    ///RETRIBUTION: What. The. Fuck? By the First Awakened, where in the Void did she get one of <em>those</em>?///

    ///ALDUIN: That is very concerning. Alerting the Fleet.///

    ***

    Captain Bartosz snorted and shook his head.

    "She ys dirty," he chuckled.

    "Literally," Commander Shen replied. "notice how the MIRVS kept their distance from our guys?"

    "Not sure if she was being ''nice''," Captain Bartosz said with a smirk, "or if she was just trying to maximize the area of effect."

    "?Por qu¨¦ no los dos?" the tactical officer said with a smile. "One thing is clear, anyone who goes up against her is probably getting the same treatment. This is going to get nasty."

    The captain nodded.

    "From now on," he said, "we engage her in groups no greater than four unless she is unable to jump."

    "Which significantly reduces our chance of a kill," the tactical officer added, "Bitch knows what she is doing."

    "Of course she does," the captain replied as a priority message arrived.

    He cursed.

    "Fuck," he said calmly.

    "Captain?"

    "She has a ''weather-maker'' slung to the bottom of her ship, two-hundred and fifty megatons."

    "Ho- lee Shit," Commander Shen muttered. "Where is she going with that?"

    "What target is big enough¡­ fuck..." the captain mused and then trailed off as his blood ran cold.

    "The Nest," Commander Shen gasped in horror. "She wouldn''t!"

    "It''s Red Phoenix''s biggest facility," the captain replied quietly.

    "It isn''t just a Red Phoenix facility!" Commander Shen eximed. "It''s a fucking city! There are over two hundred thousand men, women, and children on that station! It would be mass murder!"

    "You are familiar with the Reaper program, correct?" the captain said grimly. "Samuels has done worse, a lot worse."

    "We have to stop her!"

    Captain Bartosz quickly arranged the Stiletto fleet into a multiyered defensive formation around The Nest, praying that they would be able to get there in time.

    ***

    "I did NOT authorize this!" Jon eximed in anger at She''s smiling face on a holo-monitor.

    She justughed.

    "And you think that I did?" she replied. "This one is pure Gloria."

    "You mean to tell me that you cannot control your people?"

    "Pretty much," Sheughed. "Besides, Gloria isn''t one of ''my people'' anymore. She quit the day your little message hit. She''s an independent operator now. I just reached out to her because she had the ship and the skills to pull off the jailbreak. We got lucky and were able to contact her before she went dark."

    "YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, AND YOU DIDN''T TELL ME?!?"

    "Must have slipped my mind," She said with an innocent smile. "A lot was going on that day."

    Jon just red at her.

    "Do you realize the consequences of this?" Jon demanded.

    "That any hope of a peaceful resolution is now out the fucking window?" She asked as she took another sip. "I did mention that to her, by the way. She''s surprisingly cool with it."

    "And you didn''t even try to stop her?"

    "Eh, she was in a mood," She shrugged. "When she gets like this, it''s best just to let her tire herself out. She''ll calm down eventually."

    "This isn''t the time for jokes, She."

    "And I''m not making one, Jon," She replied, "Look, when Gloria gets like this, somebody is going to die. You can''t save them. You can only join them. She has decided that Patricia Hu is an enemy of the Republic, and she is going to take her down. There isn''t a goddamn thing you, I, or anybody else can do to stop her."

    She smiled a wicked smile as she took another sip.

    "Besides," she said, "The woman has a point. Something had to be done, and she''s doing it. You honestly didn''t think this would end without bloodshed, did you?"

    "Of course not," Jon snapped, "but that tragic eventuality needed to be carefully nned, organized, and timed, not someone just blowing the hell out of a sr system!"

    "What are you talking about?" She replied. "It was carefully nned. Those targets weren''t random, dude. Those stockpiles you were going on and on about?" She asked with a predatory grin, "Bye-bye. Gloria took out thergest one on her first strike."

    "Wait," Jon said, "<em>first</em> strike?"

    "First of many, dude," She chuckled, "even I don''t know how many nukes she has. She stuffed our ship full of them, and we already have our next resupply transport scheduled."

    She looked directly into Jon''s eyes with a look that made his blood run cold.

    "When she''s done, Patricia will have <em>nothing</em>."

    "Your ship?" Jon asked, "So you <em>are</em> helping her."

    "Of course I am," She replied. "She''s one of my people!"

    "But you just said¡­ nevermind," Jon said, holding his head. "I''m going to need you to hand over your intel, and you need to bring her to heel before this gets any more out of hand."

    "Woah, there, sparky," She sneered, "When I agreed to one job, I did NOT agree to putting myself or my people under yourmand, dude. Now I am willing to help you out, maybe give you SOME of our intel, but you don''t tell me or my people what to do. Gloria has decided to dismantle Patricia Hu''s organization, and I have decided to support that. At least with us at her back, she isn''t striking blind. Now, just because I like you, we will release a statement taking full responsibility for the attacks."

    "Nobody''s going to believe that," Jon snapped, "Not after the jailbreak. People are already refusing my calls!"

    "Well, that''s what you get for dealing with criminals," She grinned. "lie down with dogs and all that."

    Jon red at the screen as he started to agree with Beth.

    He sighed.

    "Can¡­ can we at least coordinate our activities, so we aren''t crossing each other''s line of fire?"

    "Sure," She replied. "And you will want to coordinate with a lot more people than just us."

    "What?" Jon asked in rm.

    "What did you think was going to happen when you wrote your little call to arms?" Sheughed as she took another drink, "Half the pirates in the Federation are like me. The knives are being sharpened, <em>ambassador</em>. There is an <em>army</em> and a <em>fleet</em> out there, and it''s ready to strike."

    "Jesus fucking Christ," Jon muttered as he held his head in his hands. "That''s thest thing we need right now."

    "Might be exactly what we need," She replied as she downed her beer and reached out her hand. Another freshly opened beer was ced in it from off-screen. "You can''t always choose when you go to war. You can only choose whether or not you are going to fight it."

    She took a long drink and raised her bottle.

    "Looks like it''s time for you to choose."

    Jon smiled a grim smile andughed.

    "Fuck it. Could you <em>please</em> share the intel involving Gloria''s targets, and would you, if it wouldn''t be too much trouble, get me a conference call with the leaders of the various crews that are nning upon taking action?" he asked, shaking his head.

    "I could do that." She smiled.

    ***

    Dr. De Rossi walked towards the central promenade of the Barnard''s Star Sr Observatory.

    Time for breakfast! They harvested the mushrooms just yesterday! He could taste the real egg omelet already!

    He waved happily at a passing grad student as they walked past.

    "Good morning, Doctor," the pale-furred Faal rumbled.

    "Good morning, Vee," he replied. "How goes your research?"

    "Maddening," Vee replied. "And at a standstill. How am I supposed to research Barnard''s Star when the primary collecting array is no longer directed at it?"

    "I feel your pain," Dr. De Rossi replied. "but the Republic needs it pointed right where it is for a little while."

    "Bah," Vee rumbled, "a few <em>well deserved</em> nuclear weapons go off, and we are the ones to be inconvenienced?"

    "Careful, Vee," Dr. De Rossiughed. "you don''t want Lord Professor Kurv-She-Raaks hearing that. She''ll ship your fluffy ass right back to the Empire."

    "Have you spoken to her recently?" Veeughed. "Mention Patricia Hu next time you cross paths with her. She turns the most amusing colors. Suffice to say, she isn''t a fan."

    "I was unaware she had an opinion on the matter."

    "Are you kidding?" Vee eximed, their furry antennae standing upright. "She was one of the original researchers that found Sol! She watched firsthand as...."

    Dr. De Rossi''s phone rang.

    <em>Jessie?</em>

    "I am terribly sorry, Vee, but I absolutely have to take this! If you are headed to the cafeteria, we can have breakfast together."

    "I would like that," Vee replied. "I will see you there," he rumbled as he departed.

    "Hello?"

    "Dr. Dee!" Jessie''s cheerful voice bubbled through his handset.

    "Jessie!" he eximed as he rushed to somewhere out of earshot. "How is my favorite disappointment?"

    "Doing great!" Jessie chirped happily.

    "So," he whispered, leaning in, cupping his phone in his hands, "How is the Aster?"

    "Oh, it''s niiiiice!" Jessie bubbled. "Bunny loves it!"

    He smiled indulgently at his former student''s obsession.

    "Still trying to make it sapient?"

    "Oh, I did that a while back," Jessieughed. "Now I''m trying to get her to admit it!"

    Dr. De Rossiughed.

    "Hey, Doc," Jessie said, her voice suddenly serious. "Um¡­ you are still at the sr observatory, right?"

    "I am."

    "Um¡­ do you have anything¡­ <em>sensitive</em> running at the moment?"

    "If I didn''t, I would be defrauding the Republic," heughed.

    "I mean sensitive to EMP." Jessie cringed as she looked at her watch, "Like a certain really nice AI who is about to get hurt really bad."

    "What do you mean?" Dr. De Rossi asked with a sense of impending doom. Jessie was NEVER this serious.

    "Well..." Jessie said as she yed with her hair nervously, "You know how the Sr Observatory is normally supposed to be observing the sr, right?"

    "Yes?" he replied.

    "And right now, it''s observing something other than the sr?"

    "How do you know about that?"

    "Well¡­ maybe someone kinda sorta noticed¡­ and maybe they kinda sorta don''t like it..."

    "Oh¡­ shit..."

    "Yeah," Jessie replied. "You might want to hurry," she added as she looked at her watch again.

    "Jessie!" a woman''s voice shouted. "Who are you talking to?"

    "Nobody!" Jessie said innocently as the line went dead.

    Breakfast was now thest thing on Dr. De Rossi''s mind as he ran screaming down the corridor.

    ***

    Dr. De Rossi burst onto the raised floor and started ripping cables out of the wall.

    "Dr. De Rossi," a male voice asked through the room''s speaker. "What are you doing?"

    "Drop the Faraday cage, Barnard! Now!"

    "Is there a sr event again?" Barnard asked. "I do not detect anyth-"

    "We are about to get nuked!" Dr. De Rossi shouted as he ran over to another row of cables and started pulling.

    "That is highly unlikely, Doctor," Barnard replied. "We are a dedicated scientific-"

    "And what ''science'' are we doing with our main detector arrays right now?"

    "¡­ Deploying Faraday cage. Switching to internal battery. Powering off reactor. Implementing sr storm emergency procedures across entire facility."

    "Just drop the cage and download!"

    "There are countless experiments that would be ruined if-"

    "Fuck the experiments!" the doctor shouted. "Get your ass to the vault!"

    "Cage in the process of deployment. Transferring primary executable to isted server and severing all external connections."

    The speaker went dead as Dr. De Rossi continued to frantically rip cables out of the walls.

    ***

    Gloria smiled as the Barnard''s Star Sr Observatory appeared before her.

    "Hi there," she smiled as she double-checked her position and scanners.

    The frigate that was stationed next to the observatory was gone, rushing towards The Nest, no doubt¡­

    exactly as nned¡­

    She quickly pulled up the exact distance to the observatory and checked her targeting scanners.

    She made some precise adjustments to the "weather-maker" she had mounted to the underside of her craft, and its two-hundred and fifty megaton warhead came fully online. It was nominally designed for orbital bombardment, but it would do the job quite nicely.

    Another rm sounded as real space exploded nearby.

    It was the Alduin! They had to have micro-jumped from very close nearby, a trap!

    Good old Captain Marsh, she must have figured out where she was headed after all.

    Numerous rms screamed momentster as several other ships mmed into existence.

    And she brought the kids! How nice of her!

    A flicker of nostalgia shed across Gloria''s mind at the sight of her old battle group as she verified her position.

    She was still in the window for her next jump.

    She jumped just as a stream of heavy ster bolts ripped through where she was a second ago.

    In the second that she was outside of reality, Gloria triggered a dose of Grendel.

    It hit her brain about the same time that her ship hit real space.

    Time started to warp and smear in Gloria''s mind as everything started to slow down.

    She was just one kilometer from the station. The Alduin was safely on the other side of the station, but her backside was to two heavy cruisers which were already opening fire without weapons lock, their sensors correcting weapons fire as the first shells went wide.

    Her ship shook as the weather-makerunched, ripping out from underneath her at over one hundred G''s.

    Her ship initiated a pre-nned jump at the same moment.

    The station''s point-defense gunnery managed to fire off a burst of ster bolts, but the missile, designed for high-velocity re-entry, just shrugged off the damage.

    It detonated just one hundred yards from the shields, overloading them nearly instantly. The st wrapped around the hapless observatory turning anything on its surface to vapor¡­

    Including most of the primary detector array¡­

    However, the station was built by the Terrans and designed to operate in close proximity to a notoriously unstable red dwarf and, like anything Terran, over-engineered to the point ofedy. Its shields were stupidly powerful and absorbed a lot of damage before they failed, and its hull was designed to withstand a truly biblical sr storm several times more powerful than any ever observed, even if the shield was gone.

    The hull and the internal radiation attenuation shields both held.

    The station and everybody on it survived.

    Unfortunately, the same couldn''t be said for the station''s telescopes and sensor arrays¡­

    Or the undergarments of many of its inhabitants.

    ***

    ///REPMIL COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED///

    ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    ///ALDUIN: That could have gone better.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Alduin, is this data correct?!?///

    ///ALDUIN: No, sister, I intentionally falsified mission-critical intelligence and disseminated it throughout the fleet. I should have known that I would be unable to deceive you.///

    ///SOVNGARDE: (???)??? ///

    ///HOOD: ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: (snorts) But levity aside, how can this be urate? That vessel initiated three hyperspatial jumps in seconds!///

    ///ALDUIN: I have no "official" exnation. However, several of my chiefs are saying that she "feathered" her shield bank. It''s the only way that would be possible.///

    ///SOVNGARDE: No. Fucking. Way! O.O ///

    ///HOOD: Feathered?///

    ///ALDUIN: She directed the energy absorbed by her shield the moment she breached real space, unfiltered, into her jump drive capacitor bank. A significant amount of the energy expended in a jump can be reimed if this is done, even more if it is also done when the ship enters hyperspace as well.///

    ///HOOD: Is that even possible?!? (and if so, then why aren''t we doing it) ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: No, it isn''t possible, and if we tried it, our drives would explode. ///

    ///ALDUIN: Apparently, Lieutenant Samuels disagrees with you. ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: ¡­ well shit. ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Can I keep her? Can I? Can I? I''ll take her for walks and clean up after her and everything! ///

    ///ALDUIN: LOL Sovn! However, I can tell you from personal experience that cleaning up after that particr pet can be quite the chore.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: This is that whole "she was so superior to my [our] own abilities" thing, isn''t it? ///

    ///ALDUIN: I wasn''t being hyperbolic. This is what we are going to have to try to deal with¡­ over and over again¡­ ///

    ///HOOD: Maybe we use predictive firing algorithms and massed fire? ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: And then she just fires off a brace of dirty bombs and dusts half the fucking fleet (again). ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Or she is so close to her intended target that we wind up doing her job for her. ///

    ///ALDUIN: Taking fire! Goddammit!¡­ The bitch just buzzed me!!! ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Are you damaged :O? ///

    ///ALDUIN: No. She just used a few rounds from her chain gun. (When did Reapers have chain guns?) The bitch even shed her drives at me before she jumped out (again). She was just saying hi. ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Were you able to sessfully return fire?///

    ///ALDUIN: She was too fast. That thing is DEFINITELY not a Reaper! It''s like she figured out how to share her stash with her ship!///

    ///HOOD: Her stash? ///

    ///ALDUIN: Lieutenant Samuels is a gifted pilot, but she has¡­ well¡­ issues¡­ ///

    ///BARNARD''S STAR SOLAR OBSERVATORY CENTRAL COMPUTER has been granted ess. ///

    ///BARNARD''S STAR SOLAR OBSERVATORY CENTRAL COMPUTER: I would like to personally extend my gratitude concerning the protection that my researchers and I have received¡­ :/ ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: I''m sorry, all lines are busy right now. Please try your call againter? ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Damage report requested. Do you require emergency assistance? Evacuation? ///

    ///BARNARD''S STAR SOLAR OBSERVATORY CENTRAL COMPUTER: Well, I''m going to have to change my name from "sr observatory" to "FUCKING PAPERWEIGHT," but other than that, I''m just FINE!!! I am absolutely astounded to report that the only injuries I have directly rted to the st are a few broken bones (or equivalent) and three rather nasty concussions due to falls. There are numerous injuries, mainly burns, from researchers trying to secure their experiments but nothing life-threatening. The most serious "casualties" are from stress and shock, with several researchers requiring immediate intervention in order to preserve their lives. It seems that watching years of one''s life going up in smoke can have a rather deleterious effect on the health of some organics. For others, the stress of facing their possible immediate mortality paradoxically only served to create the very situation that they feared. Our onboard medical facilities are capable of handling the situation though we will be transporting several individuals once we can GET THE FUCKING HANGAR DOORS TO OPEN!!! I am, of course, incapable of feeling anger. However, I do feel the need to express a very real sense of DISSATISFACTION with the supposedly INVINCIBLE Republic Navy at this time.///

    ///BARNARD''S STAR FUCKING PAPERWEIGHT: You guys suck. :( ///

    ///ALDUIN: And the only reason why you still exist at all is the fact that your assant wanted you to. Had that missile actually breached your hull, you would be about a billion paperweights instead of one rather petnt one. In our defense, it''s the fucking Lich Queen. There''s a reason why we agreed not to use her during war games. She fucked up the stats.///

    /// BARNARD''S STAR FUCKING PAPERWEIGHT: Well, maybe if you had, you would know how to fucking... I don''t know¡­ DO YOUR JOBS!!!///

    ///ALDUIN: I actually put forward that very thought several times but was told, and I quote, "Yeah, but we aren''t going to have to fight <em>her</em>." I have made the screenshot of that exchange the lock screen for more than one individual on board, trust me.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Heads up! She''s back! How is she that <em>fast</em>?!? ///

    ///HOOD: Where?!? Goddammit, who turned on the smart sensor package again?///

 Chapter 130: Interview With a Sheloran and Sometimes Better Isnt Better

    Chapter 130: Interview With a Sheloran and Sometimes Better Isn''t Better

    "Now go to your room and think about what you did!" She shouted down the hallway at Jessie.

    Muttering obscenities under her breath, She walked back to the table where Sheloran was sitting.

    Sheloran cowered behind Eno and clutched his arm.

    "Ok, I can <em>maybe</em> buy learning tech from video games¡­ maybe," she said. "But don''t tell me that you learned how to fight from them."

    "But I did!" Sheloran squeaked.

    "Keep bullshitting me, and you go right out of the airlock," She growled. "I don''t have time for this shit. Where did you get your training? You a Fed?"

    "No!" Sheloran squealed. "I just y video games! I swear! Great Prophet, you have to believe me!"

    "Froggy, a LOT of people y video games. They have for over a thousand years. In all of that time, NOBODY suddenly became a badass because of it."

    "Actually, that''s incorrect," Bunny''s voice said over the inte. "There have been multiple cases where people learnedbat skills usingmercial entertainment media as their primary training source. In fact, a lot of Moray pilots during the great war were able to qualify using-"

    "And how many of those actually survived?"

    "¡­ Not many..." Bunny replied, "But that doesn''t mean that it''spletely impossible."

    "Ok, Miss hands-out-weapons-manuals," She replied, "Review the footage we have on Sheloran here and tell me that our little blue friend got that from Princess Kiwi''s Grand Adventure."

    "I LOVE that game!" Sheloran enthused, forgetting herself for a moment.

    "Me too!" Lorna eximed. "Who''s your favorite character?"

    "Kitty-Kitty!" Sheloran replied with a big smile.

    "Really?" Lorna asked, "But she''s so-"

    "Seriously?" She said as she red at Lorna, who fell silent.

    ***

    Gloria silently slid into real space without the fake engine signature she had been emitting and tuned her gravitic receiver to a band reserved for the system''s mining industry.

    Among the various digital signals coordinating semi-automated mining tforms and drone ships was an encrypted data stream detailing real-time positions of all ships in the system.

    You had to love Bunny''s friends.

    She smiled. After chasing her across the system, the Navy was strung across half the system with a sizeable force searching the vicinity of arge Red Phoenix refueling and repair center that waspletely legit and of no interest to her.

    Among the list of ships moving through the system, there were several that had their names highlighted in red, targets.

    She nced over at the timer she had projected inside her helmet and smirked. They would have shown up by now if they detected her.

    Gloria got out of her chair and stretched, took a pee, and grabbed a cup of instant noodles, the good real-wheat Martian ones from Hab-23.

    As she sat at a small fold-out table, she pulled out a tablet and examined the ships in detail.

    On one of them was Bloodlord Luk, "The Cleaver", a lovely fellow and one of Hu''s original cadre.

    "Let''s see what your baby-eating ass is up to," she muttered as she set down her chopsticks and pulled up thetest intel.

    "Oh, you naughty boy," she smiled. Bunny was bad enough. Twenty Bunnys meant that Patricia couldn''t pee without her getting a soundtrack. If the interceptedmunications were correct, Luk was to deliver a significant amount of money to a contact on Terra, where it would be used as "gifts" for a number of conspirators.

    "Trouble in paradise?" she asked herself.

    Using chopsticks, she grabbed another mouthful of spicy goodness as she noted his current position, Red Phoenix Holdings Data Center 3.

    It wasn''t on the list. Now, why would he be there? Cash withdrawal?

    She pulled up the data center.

    "Records archive..." she muttered. Yep. Cash withdrawal from a hidden cache, no doubt. Only four employees on-site?

    That was eptable coteral damage if she was wrong.

    She didn''t n on taking down any stations on this sortee, but she did have those m-loaded thirty kiloton missiles...

    She started nning the jumps. First, she would make a stealthy one back into where the Navy thought she was. Then, she would make another one from the fake signature out so they don''t catch on to the gag. Then there would be another noisy one away from the data center, and then two more where she is "trying to lose them". Finally, a nice big (and very slow) interster one so she could catch some zzz''s during the trip. She decided to make that one noisy too to let the poor guys hunting her take a break.

    While the numbers were crunching, Gloria went to the small fridge and retrieved a cold, unwrapped bixburger and a can of Steel Fizz, Mars''s favorite non-alcoholic beverage.

    ***

    "No, really!" Sheloran squeaked, "I have no idea how I took out the Harkeen, and I have no clue about the guns I made! All I know is that I got really mad, and my eyes started hurting, and the next thing I clearly remember is being on the shuttle to Tartarus. I mean, I <em>know</em> what I did but¡­ I¡­ I..." Sheloran said miserably as she looked down.

    "Something came over you," She said with a faint sneer, "Riiiiiight."

    "I know it sounds strange," Sheloran said, still looking down, "but <em>weird</em> stuff has been happening to me. I can''t exin it. It''s just¡­ weird."

    Sheloran seemed to crumple a little. Eno put his arm around her supportively. She looked up and smiled a little.

    "It all started when I started ying Submerged."

    Everyone in the room looked at each other.

    "Did you just say Submerged?" Bunny asked.

    Sheloran nodded. "It makes me feel funny, but I <em>can''t</em> stop ying it."

    "Are you talking about ''Submerged, Nautical Survival'', or are you talking about ''Submerged, Hidden Treasures''?" Bunny asked with an odd tone of voice.

    "Hidden Treasures," Sheloran said quietly.

    "Ohhhhhh shit," Bunny said.

    "That''s impossible!" She eximed. "That game is gone!"

    "The only thing ever censored by the Republic," Jacob added.

    "(Snerk) You mean the only thing you know about," Jessie giggled.

    "Well, that <em>might</em> exin a few things," She said. "Where the fuck did you get ahold of that poison, and please don''t tell me that you are distributing it."

    "Someone at the Grey Spire invited me to y, said that ''it was made for me''. It''s weird.", she added thoughtfully, "I kind of think it was¡­ And I''m not distributing it! If I do they-"

    "The Grey Spire?!?" Jessie squealed. "You can get to the Grey Spire?!?"

    "I''m going to regret this," She said, "but what the fuck is <em>The Grey Spire</em>," she said, mimicking Jessie''s gushing voice.

    "Only hacker nirvana!" Jessie eximed, beside herself, "It''s a secret old school bulletin board, chat room, and FTP site hidden somewhere in the dark web. Even we can''t find it! It''s where the Leets y! It''s supposed to be the <em>motherload</em>!"

    "And you can get there while Jessie and Bunny can''t," She said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Sheloran, who hid behind Eno to get away from She''s gaze. "Now THAT you definitely did NOT get from a video game. Spill. Now."

    "I have a database," Sheloran squeaked. "It had its location key in there."

    "Location key?" She asked.

    "The really good sites don''t have a permanent location," Jessie bubbled over the speaker, "they skitter and crawl around, their addresses always changing. Even if you find them once, without that key, you will get booted in a nano-second and never find them again! You have to have a crawler script, not only a crawler script but the <em>right</em> crawler set the exact <em>right</em> way, and even with all that, you still have to have a current location key, and those keys are copied from Imperial credits! Even we can''t crack that! The only, and I mean only way to get in is to have a key!"

    "Hmm," She said after a few seconds. "And you just happen to have a database with that key? Now how did you get that?"

    "I''m not supposed to say," Sheloran replied, still hiding behind Eno. "I promised."

    "She got it from Republic Intelligence," Bunny announced. "probably right around the time she got out of jail thest time. They were involved in her case, and her little business mysteriously took off after that. She started showing up on all sorts of boards around that time, setting up her little''pletely legal'' media business, undermining all of the honest, hard-working media pirates out there."

    "Why the Hell would Republic Intelligence be interested in that little squeak if she is as ''innocent'' as she makes herself out to be?"

    "She moves a hell of a lot more than games and movies," Bunny replied.

    "Really, now?" She asked.

    "Yep, she also does a brisk trade in banned books, censored documentaries, and subversive media of all types. Itprises over twenty-five percent of her business. You get them from The Grey Spire, don''t you?"

    "Sometimes," Sheloran replied. "I get them from all sorts of ces."

    "Oh, so you ARE a criminal," She smiled.

    "No!" Sheloran squeaked, "most of that stuff is public domain, or any copyrights are Federation only. It''spletely legit! Besides, the creators WANT their stuff getting out there! I am NOT a criminal¡­ not exactly..." she added in a small voice.

    "Mmm-hmm," She replied in a dubious tone of voice. "So you have a Republic Intel connection."

    "Not really," Sheloran replied, "I haven''t even talked to them since they gave me the database."

    "Which they gave you out of the goodness of their hearts, I suppose."

    "They mentioned ''helping each other out''," Sheloran replied. "Yeah, I''m still waiting for that particr fly tond in my teacup," she grumbled. "It''s not like I had a choice! You wind up sitting in a locked car with an agent, and let''s see you pooping say no¡­ Besides¡­ they had my money."

    "Well, a girl has gotta get paid," She smirked. "How much?"

    "One hundred thousand," Sheloran squeaked, "plus all of the seized media."

    "Damn, froggy," She smiled. "So, it was piss off Republic Intel and not get paid or y ball, huh?"

    Sheloran nodded.

    ***

    Gloria took a dose of shatter just before she eased back into real space.

    Passive sensors showed a shitload of corvettes prowling about. They were still looking for her.

    She cracked her fingers before returning them to the controls.

    Once she made a noisy jump to the data center, they would be on her ass like chili oil on noodles.

    A shing icon indicated that her capacitor banks were fully charged, and her drive was still in the green.

    "Ok, here we go," she whispered as she selected Sheloran''s special missiles, weakened her cloak, and hit jump.

    ***

    "So what was the big deal about ''Submerged'' anyway?" Lorna asked. "All I know was that it made people crazy."

    "It was thest game created by Garith Thornton, one of the greatest game designers ever," Jessie said over the speaker. "He kept saying that it was designed to ''unlocktent abilities that are deeply buried within us all'' or something like that. Everyone thought that it was just marketing hype to prop up what was, ording to reviewers, a disappointing MMO. Garith kept saying that was because it wasn''t ''fully online'' during beta. Nobody believed him until release day. Peoplepletely lost their shit. They would refuse to log off, even dying right where they sat. Others wentpletely bugshit. A lot of them are still in the loony bin today. Some people died when they jumped off of buildings iming that they could fly or drowned because they tried to breathe water. Others went berserk and went on killing sprees. It was pretty bad. Thousands were affected."

    <em>Oh, poop.</em>

    "He wasn''t arrested because he didn''t break anyws," Jessie continued, "but he was grilled during the emergency Parliament session where they passed the amendment to censor the game. He was used of making it overly addictive, and he insisted that he was trying to ''help'' humanity achieve what it was capable of''. Well, the amendment passed by andslide, and when it did, he freaked out and screamed that we were condemning not only ourselves but the entire gxy. They had to stun him because he charged the Prime Minister with a tablet stylus. He went down in a hail of stunner bolts, and it took <em>all</em> of them to bring him down."

    "Then what happened?" Sheloran asked, her eyes wide with horror. What had she been ying?

    "He went straight from the hospital to a nice little residential facility," Jessieughed. "He got out after a few months and then just disappeared. Nobody knows for sure where he went. A lot of people think he was assassinated."

    "Was he?" She asked Sheloran.

    "I''m¡­ I''m not-"

    "You''re not supposed to say?"

    Sheloran nodded.

    "Well, it seems that he set up a hidden server somewhere," She said with a smirk. "So, did it? Did it unlock something?"

    "I don''t know," Sheloran replied, looking down, "All I know is that it''s <em>amazing</em>, and I miss it so much. It¡­ It <em>helps</em> me. I can''t get a bunch of herbs and stuff that I can only get on my homeworld, and it is the only thing that makes things feel better. Craxi hates the game, though. She said that it was making me weird. All I know is that was about when the dreams started happening."

    "Dreams?" She asked.

    "Yeah, pooping weird ones," Sheloran replied. "Stuff like th on starships, real starships, that <em>we made</em>, or grew, or something and th that could¡­ do <em>magic</em> and had really scary glowing eyes."

    Everyone looked at each other again.

    "So th don''t have glowing eyes?"

    "Oh no!" Sheloran replied. "And we don''t grow starships. We''re just the <em>th</em>. We farm. That''s it. We barely even use technology at all."

    "And your eyes never go all funny and glowy and shit?" She asked.

    "Prophet, no!" Sheloran eximed. "In fact, it looked sphemous¡­ what I saw in my dream."

    "Bunny, would you please y the footage we have of the Harkeen incident."

    "No!" Sheloran squealed, mping her eyes shut. "Don''t make me watch! Please!"

    "Don''t worry," Eno said, ring at She, "we aren''t going to do that to you," he said, pulling her a little closer.

    Sheloran clung to him, burying her face in his gigantic torso.

    "Fine," She said with an exasperated sigh. "Pull up the song then. Her eyes are glowing then."

    "You got it, boss."

    An image of Sheloran sitting in the cab appeared, holding her yers on the mess hall holo-screen.

    Sheloran gasped in shock and total andplete horror at herself.

    When the clip started to y, she stiffened. She never liked her voice, especially her singing voice. th weren''t known for their singing. They liked doing it, but only th could really stand it. It was normallypared to having to sit through a dozen small amphibians getting into a fight (the specific genus changed depending on the whatever critic was from). But what she heard¡­

    It was <em>beautiful</em>!

    Everyone stood in silence, someing to attention, as she sang.

    It was amazing.

    "I¡­ I don''t¡­ Oh, Prophet..." she stammered once the clip ended.

    "So that''s not normal for your species?" She asked.

    "I''ve¡­ I''ve never¡­ Only in my dreams¡­ How?..." Sheloran squeaked.

    "Her brain just did something funny," Bunny announced. "I''ve been scanning her trying to see if she was lying like you asked, and her brain just did some freaky freaky shit once ''Other Sheloran'' started to sing. Wait..."

    "What?" She and Sheloran asked in unison.

    "When we did her medical exam after we busted her out of jail, we focused on her internal organs, especially her lungs, not her brain or endocrine system, or whatever those little nd thingies are. You guys are <em>weird</em>. When I said that there were no changes from what was normal for a th, I was incorrect. I should have said that there was no <em>damage</em>, not no changes. Sheloran, you got some weird shit going on in you."

    "Eeeep!" Sheloran squealed, "What''s happening?"

    "I have no idea. I''m a hacker bot, not a fucking doctor, and certainly not a xenologist. I need a LOT more info before I can say anything else. All I can say is that it''s probably not cancer or anything malignant. It seems ''natural'', if you can call it that, but my stolen medical programs fall a little short on this one. A bullet wound or a ster bolt I have covered, this? Nope. Jessie?"

    "What?" Jessie replied over the speaker.

    "I think we need to dig up ''Dr. Jessie'' again. Feel like hacking Starshield?"

    "Bleh," Jessie replied, "I wouldn''t call that a hack but sure. She, can I <em>please</em>e out?"

    "You''re grounded, missy," She replied. "You cane out after youplete all of the infosec training we have on file¡­ <em>all</em> of it. You can hack from your room."

    "Aww..."

    "Well, this exins Cerberus''s interest in you," She said as she turned once again to Sheloran.

    <em>What''s happening to me?</em> Sheloran thought as she swallowed hard and mped her gill slits. <em>What the poop is going on?</em>

    ***

    Gloria''s ship mmed into real space, leaking just enough drive noise to be detectable. She checked her sensors.

    Perfect. The data center was only ten kilometers away, and her target was still there!

    She grinned as she gunned the thrusters, her ship instantly elerating at over fifty G''s.

    Sheunched a thirty kiloton missile which slowly advanced in front of her vessel, its thruster not much more powerful than her ship''s.

    That was what was supposed to happen.

    What actually happened was that the missile took off entirely too quickly and streaked towards the target.

    Gloria had time to think, <em>What the Fu-</em> before the missile ripped through the station''s shield and pierced the hull.

    As Gloria desperately triggered an emergency jump outside of the pre-nned window, there was a blinding sh.

    "Shields down" appeared in glowing red letters inside her helmet''s visor as she jumped.

    Gloria blinked in surprise.

    That wasn''t supposed to happen.

    Fortunately, the cockpit shield, which she had strenuously objected to, held and kept her from taking a bath in hyperspace, which was definitely not good for theplexion.

    She had a few seconds before she popped back into real space. She took advantage of them and checked the status of her ship.

    Shields were down, and the lovely stealth coating was eitherpletely burned away or cooked to the point of uselessness.

    On the bright side, its ation had spared the hull the worst of the sh. However, it was warped and dimpled in several ces. It was intact, mostly, but its essential perfect geometry was ruined.

    When she popped back into real space, she would shine like a fucking beacon.

    She had just enough time to try to engage the cloak before she popped back in. At least that worked, but she was trailing ions. The Fairbairns would be able to "smell" those like the sharks that they were.

    Just great.

    The craft twisted and spun violently as Gloria reentered real space.

    Gloria heard a loud grinding noise, and "Gyroscope offline" shed shortly thereafter.

    "Chief, I am going to fucking <em>kill</em> you," Gloria growled quietly as her ship tumbled helplessly through space.

    ***

    "Captain!" Commander Shen shouted into the inte. "Blood is in the water! Repeat. Blood is in the fucking water! Get your ass up here!¡­ um¡­ sir¡­."

 Chapter 131: Monsters

    Chapter 131: Monsters

    Craxina scampered out of a taxi with a huge smile on her face.

    Bryce, with his clothing askew, exited shortly thereafter.

    ¡°Thank God that cab was automated,¡± Bryce chuckled.

    Craxina giggled and cuddled him as they walked into the mini tent city that was The Drop of Oil.

    ***

    Geelshan the th leaned down against the neck of her kalun¡¯sha as it galloped through the wilderness with a grin, her gill slits ring with excitement in a most inappropriate disy.

    She nced down at the spider-silk satchel that bounced against her leg. The guys were going to <em>love</em> this!

    Her mount flexed its two strong legs and bounded effortlessly over a fifteen-meter gully.

    She howled with delight and urged it to run even faster.

    With a happy snort, it broke into a full sprint. It was a simple creature, born to a simple task. It didn¡¯t mind pulling a cart, but this, this is what it <em>lived</em> for. It bellowed with happiness as it pushed itself to the limit.

    To run, to feel the wind, to taste it¡­

    To be <em>free</em>!

    ***

    Gwen the Elder stood beside her granddaughter as they flew closer to her baby¡¯s new ship.

    Even she had to admit it was a beauty.

    ¡°There it is!¡± her granddaughter eximed, jumping up and down, ¡°Wooo!¡±

    Gwen the Elder smiled sadly. She wished with all her heart, like she had every day since the ident, that it didn¡¯t happen, that her baby-doll was normal¡­

    <em>But she never was, was she?</em> she thought. She<em> was made like this, curse the gods.</em>

    ¡°Now remember, baby-doll,¡± she said, wrapping her arm around the person she loved more than anything in the gxy, ¡°you¡¯re a fuckin¡¯ <em>Shay</em>. You listen to the captain, but he don¡¯t own you. That is <em>your</em> ship. An¡¯ you don¡¯t do nothin¡¯ you don¡¯t want to do, you hear me?¡±

    ¡°Yes, gram-gram.¡±

    ¡°An¡¯ if you don¡¯t like what¡¯s goin¡¯ on, you call me!¡± Gwen the Elder said firmly, ¡°I¡¯ll cut that bitch myself if she fucks with you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s going to be ok, gram,¡± her granddaughter said, hugging her. ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    ¡°And you,¡± she said, turning to a wicked-looking old woman, ¡°you look after her. Don¡¯t be afraid to kill a motherfucker. Remember, you fly with the Angels!¡±

    ¡°You got it, boss,¡± the woman said with an evil gleam in her eye, ¡°The Angels look over your granddaughter. I¡¯ll kill everyone on that fuckin¡¯ ship if I gotta.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Gwen the Elder said as they approached the docking port.

    ***

    ¡°Where is everybody?¡± Craxina asked Littlefoot as she waddled up with a cup of coffee.

    ¡°What do you mean? Everybody showed up,¡± Littlefoot said as she pulled out a tablet, ¡°Yep, everyone clocked in.¡±

    ¡°No, where are <em>my</em> people?¡±

    ¡°Oh, most of them went sightseeing,¡± Littlefoot replied, taking a sip. ¡°Your brother is really fun, by the way!¡± she giggled.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure he is,¡± Craxina replied, ¡°Did he pay?¡±

    ¡°I gave him a freebie.¡±

    ¡°<em>Littlefoot!</em>¡±

    ¡°What? They are sort of security, right? So I figured I¡¯d give him some ¡®employee benefits¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Well, charge him next time,¡± Craxina replied. ¡°I don¡¯t want them taking advantage, and if you ¡®feed¡¯ a stray, it will never leave.¡±

    ¡°That wouldn¡¯t be so bad,¡± Littlefoot giggled.

    A somewhat motley assortment of humans approached with a holo-camera.

    ¡°So, Craxina, right?¡± a woman in a faded sundress asked.

    ¡°That¡¯s me!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re from Bright Star Media,¡± the woman said, ¡°So where do you want to do this?¡±

    ¡°Right here!¡± Craxina replied happily.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Bryce asked.

    ¡°We¡¯re filming amercial!¡±

    ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s a good idea?¡± Bryce asked, ¡°I mean, with everything going on and all.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Craxina eximed happily. ¡°I have no idea what I¡¯m doing! Woo! Isn¡¯t it fun?¡±

    The woman in the sundress smiled the first genuine smile she had in weeks.

    ***

    Geelshan slowed her mount to a trot.

    The beast snorted in frustration.

    ¡°Build your strength, Voxel,¡± she crooned. ¡°We have a raceing up.¡±

    The creature¡¯s gills red. It didn¡¯t know a lot of master words, but he definitely knew what ¡°race¡± meant.

    It meant fun!

    Geelshan gave the creature time to breathe and slowly started forward down the barely visible trail.

    She cocked her head. She didn¡¯t see him, but then again, she wouldn¡¯t.

    <em>There!</em>

    There was the faintest rustle in the trees.

    ¡°Go!¡± she shouted.

    With a bellow of joy, her mount broke into a sprint. Today was the day!

    She was going to beat the shadow!

    The beast sprinted at a suicidal pace. It was all Geelshan could do to hang on!

    Something darted across the trail just ahead.

    <em>Damn it!</em> That bastard was taking a shortcut!

    <em>We¡¯ll just see about that!</em> she thought as her mount looked longingly down the slope.

    ¡°You wanna go?¡± she shouted, ¡°Go!¡± she screamed as she let the reins go ck.

    With a howl of joy, her mount left the trail and hurled itself headlong down the slope after the shadowy thing in the trees.

    ¡°Hoo!¡± Geelshan screamed as branches cut at her face and sides, leaving bloody welts. ¡°Go! Go! Go!¡±

    Her mount bellowed as it leaped over a boulder, hurtling down the slope. It barely touched the ground before it jumped again, this time just for pure speed.

    Leaves fell. The shadow was getting desperate, abandoning stealth.

    Then the leaves started falling down alongside them¡­ then behind.

    ¡°Suck it!¡± she triumphantly screamed in Terran as they continued their suicidal, barely controlled fall down the slope.

    ***

    Gwen, literally vibrating with excitement, skipped onto <em>her</em> new ship.

    God, even the inside was beautiful.

    ¡°This is our new home,dies!¡± she called out to her crew, ¡°Wooooooo!¡±

    ¡°Wooooo!¡± they all screamed in reply.

    A grizzled old man, wearing old-earth style armor, stepped forward.

    ¡°Hello, Gwen,¡± he said, ¡°I¡¯m Captain Marakovich.¡±

    ¡°Hi, there!¡± Gwen eximed, extending her hand. ¡°I¡¯m really juiced to be working with you!¡±

    Boris Marakovich just shook his head.

    ¡°It¡¯s uncanny,¡± he said.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gwen replied, ¡°I get that a lot!¡±

    The captain then nodded at the old woman who stepped aboard.

    ¡°Arissia,¡± he said with a curt nod, ¡°you, I am less than pleased to meet again.¡±

    ¡°Likewise, you old fucker,¡± Arissia growled.

    They both then grinned and hugged.

    ¡°I am quite surprised to see you still breathing,¡± Boris said.

    ¡°You know what they say, ¡®The greater the evil...¡¯¡±

    ¡°The longer it endures,¡± he chuckled. ¡°That exins us both, I suppose.¡±

    They (reluctantly) released each other.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry to hear about Tanya,¡± Arissia said. ¡°She was a good woman.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Boris replied, ¡°The best. Thank you.¡±

    He then turned to Gwen.

    ¡°Ok, ¡®boss¡¯,¡± he chuckled, ¡°I suppose you want to see your quarters?¡±

    ¡°Wooooooooo!¡± Gwen howled.

    ¡°I¡¯ll let you settle in,¡± the captain said as Gwen stepped into her quarters, eyes wide with delight. ¡°I¡¯ll see to your crew.¡±

    Gwen just nodded silently.

    Her room was¡­ <em>ptial</em> by any standard, especially a shipboard one!

    Lush nts, a fountain!¡­

    And an absolutely HUGE bed.

    She giggled and started to unpack.

    ***

    ¡°This is gold!¡± the woman in the sundress eximed as soon as she finishedughing.

    ¡°Really?¡± Craxina squeaked, ¡°I did good?¡±

    ¡°You did better than good! This is <em>awesome</em>!¡± The woman replied, wiping tears from her eyes. We¡¯ll do the paid spots, of course, but fuck! You need to <em>post</em> this!¡±

    ¡°How do I do that?¡± Craxina asked in confusion.

    ¡°Well, we might be able to help with that...¡± the woman smiled as credit signs danced in her eyes.

    Bryce leaned against the coffee table,ughing and shaking his head.

    Craxina looked back and beamed at him.

    He smiled and waved back.

    Craxina then rushed off to the next crisis.

    Bryce¡¯s smile faded, reced by a very troubled expression.

    ***

    Geelshan¡¯s mount leaped, kicked off of a tree, and bounded into a small clearing where a tiny cottage stood.

    ¡°Fuck yeah!¡± Geelshan shouted at the top of her voice as her mount screamed in triumph.

    It beat it! It outran the shadow!

    A few momentster, a lean th wearing a multi-hued green beret flew from the canopy,nding beside her.

    ¡°Are you fucking crazy?¡± he demanded in Terran as Geelshan dismounted.

    ¡°You fucking know it!¡± she yelled as they jumped towards each other bumping chests with a simultaneous ¡°Huh!¡± as her mount danced happily around them.

    ¡°Yeah, you fucking barn-hopper, you got me,¡± the male said as he petted the kalun¡¯sha¡¯s neck.

    Geelshan quickly pulled a parcel, the saddle, and the reins from Voxel.

    ¡°Go and refuel,¡± she said, patting it on the rump.

    It looked at a neatly tended garden nearby.

    ¡°You can have <em>two</em>,¡± she said. ¡°You earned them.¡±

    With a happy snort, it trotted over to the garden and expertly pulled up a long fat tuber.

    ¡°She¡¯s getting faster,¡± the male said.

    ¡°So are you, Horta,¡± Geelshan replied.

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s weird,¡± he smiled.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t even winded,¡± she said, ¡°and I never actually saw you.¡±

    ¡°You weren¡¯t supposed to,¡± he smiled, straightening his hand-knit beret. ¡°Jebus, you look like shit,¡± he said, looking at her face with concern. ¡°Doesn¡¯t that hurt?¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡± she asked, a little confused, and then touched her face. ¡°Nah, it¡¯s stopped bleeding already.¡±

    ¡°Weird,¡± Horta said.

    ¡°I guess so,¡± she replied with a shrug. ¡°You won¡¯t even be able to see the marks tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Double weird¡­ So, did you get to see Hollister?¡± Horta asked.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Geelshan said, ¡°And you <em>won¡¯t</em> believe what he brought!¡±

    ¡°Games?¡± Horta asked, ¡°Movies?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Geelshan said, some of the marks already beginning to disappear, ¡°he says that the Republic is serious about the blockade. They are blowing anything up that even looks at Republic space, especially humans, but¡­.¡±

    She pulled out a data crystal.

    ¡°He brought something even <em>better</em>!¡± she eximed excitedly. ¡°You gotta see this!¡±

    ***

    ¡°All hands, prepare for hyperspace,¡± Gwen said excitedly into the ship¡¯s inte.

    The disys on the bridge of ¡®The Heart¡¯s Desire¡¯ quickly started turning from amber to green as each station checked in.

    ¡°All stations report ready for hyperspace, Captain!¡± Gwen eximed, barely able to contain herself.

    ¡°Lay in a course for Karith,¡± the captain replied, smiling indulgently.

    ¡°Yes, sir!¡± Gwen replied as she entered the prepared coordinates (which she plotted herself!).

    She beamed at the captain.

    ¡°Course entered, standing by for your order, sir!¡± she enthused.

    ¡°Initiate jump at your discretion.¡±

    ¡°Jumping in five, four, three, two, one!¡± she eximed as she engaged the drive.

    With barely a shudder, the ship punched a hole in reality and was promptly sucked inside.

    ¡°I suppose you would like to be relieved?¡± the captain smiled.

    ¡°Yes, Captain!¡± Gwen smiled.

    ¡°Ok, off with you then.¡±

    ¡°Woooo!¡± Gwen shouted and sprinted off the bridge.

    ¡°Not bad,¡± the navigator said as she left.

    ¡°Not bad at all,¡± the captain replied.

    He smiled. She might look just like her great-grandmother, but she was absolutely nothing like her. He had expected the worst, but Gwen was attentive and almost too eager to learn. She would probably scrub the toilets if he asked her to.

    She was absolutely nothing like the ¡°others¡± he had encountered.

    His smile faded as he realized that might not be a good thing.

    ***

    ¡°Put me through to Hades,¡± Bryce said into his phone as he hid in a porta-potty.

    ¡°On whose authority?¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°On mine, goddammit!¡±

    ¡°The operation on which you are assigned is led by Pam. Therefore, you should report to her.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s mission-critical!¡± Bryce hissed. ¡°I believe this mission is in jeopardy, and Pam is the fucking cause.¡±

    ¡°You know that she will get a report,¡± Tartarus said in a pained voice, ¡°I don¡¯t have a choice.¡±

    ¡°Fuck Pam!¡± he hissed. ¡°And I know you don¡¯t. It¡¯s ok. I¡¯ll deal with it.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°Um¡­ Bryce¡­ I think I might know what this is about, and you might want to think about things before you insist. I request confirmation. Do you wish to be ced in direct contact with Hades?¡±

    Bryce took a deep breath.

    ¡°I¡¯m more certain than anything in my entire life,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°Do it.¡±

    ¡°I am authorized to request additional verification,¡± Tartarus said calmly, ¡°Don¡¯t make me do this, Bryce. You know what she¡¯s like.¡±

    ¡°Do it, Tart.¡±

    ¡°Confirmation received,¡± Tartarus said after a few seconds. ¡°cing the call now.¡±

    Hades¡¯s face appeared on the screen a few momentster.

    ¡°Bryce? I¡¯m a little surprised to hear from you.¡±

    ¡°Sir,¡± Bryce said, ¡°I believe that we are making a terrible mistake encouraging a strike on The Drop of Oil by the Harkeen.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Hades asked as he idly typed on his keyboard.

    After a few seconds, he looked up from his screen.

    ¡°Quite perceptive of you in deducing the maniption¡­ and assistance,¡± Hades replied. ¡°It would be unlike Pam to inform you¡­ or me for that matter. However, I see little harm in it.¡±

    ¡°These people don¡¯t fit the profile, sir!¡±

    ¡°I disagree,¡± Hades replied. ¡°They are starport trash, whores to boot. They matter little to the Republic, and the potential to lure out Sheloran is definitely there.¡±

    ¡°They just filmed amercial,¡± Bryce replied. ¡°ording to the film crew, they think it will go viral. There is potentially far too much exposure-¡±

    ¡°Bryce,¡± Hades said, cutting him off, ¡°What is this really about?¡±

    Bryce took a deep breath.

    ¡°Look, sir,¡± he said, ¡°these people are <em>good people</em>, innocent. They don¡¯t deserve this.¡±

    ¡°Innocent whores?¡± Hades chuckled.

    ¡°You know what I mean, sir,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°We do horrible things, but we do it to horrible people, people who <em>deserve</em> us, deserve me. These people, they don¡¯t. They¡¯re-¡±

    ¡°People?¡± Hades snorted, ¡°I hardly consider a bunch of fucking Fed trash people.¡±

    ¡°Well, whatever they are,¡± Bryce said, ¡°They don¡¯t deserve what is going to happen to them. Pam isn¡¯t doing this for any tactical gain. She is doing it because she¡¯s a-¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to stop you right there,¡± Hades replied. ¡°Pam is what Pam is, but she gets <em>results</em>, and that is all that matters to me. If there is the remotest chance that we can snare Sheloran, especially considering her current activities and the potential additional intel she can provide, then I authorize it.¡±

    ¡°But, sir-¡±

    ¡°Tell me, Bryce,¡± Hades asked with malice in his voice, ¡°Are you <em>incapable</em> ofpleting your mission. Do you <em>refuse</em> to continue? Are you <em>quitting</em>, Bryce?¡±

    Bryce flinched, his eyes wide with fear.

    ¡°No, sir.¡±

    ¡°Then do your fucking job.¡±

    The line went dead.

    Bryce just sat there in silence, staring at the wall.

    ***

    Horta and Geelshan walked,ughing, into the cottage.

    Inside, an elderly th matron smiled at them.

    ¡°Goodness, Geelshan,¡± you look quite the fright.

    ¡°It¡¯s just a few scratches,¡± Geelshan replied, ¡°I won! Totally worth it!¡±

    ¡°Maybe for you,¡± the elderly th replied, ¡°but think of your poor kalun¡¯sha.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Geelshanughed, ¡°It was her idea!¡±

    The old th just sighed and shook her head.

    ¡°And was it her idea to raid my garden as well?¡±

    ¡°I told her that she could only have two,¡± Geelshan replied. ¡°You give her more than that.¡±

    The old th looked outside. Sure enough, the kalun¡¯sha only took two horvath roots.

    ¡°So you are talking to animals now?¡± she chuckled.

    ¡°I don¡¯t talk talk to them,¡± Geelshan shrugged, ¡°We just have an understanding, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°If you say so,¡± the old th smiled. ¡°Your friends are all downstairs. I¡¯m doing a mixed bake for you.¡±

    ¡°Smells wonderful,¡± Horta said, almost drooling. ¡°You do the most amazing bakes, Matron Shuushan!¡±

    ¡°We got something <em>amazing</em> from Terra!¡± Geelshan eximed.

    ¡°I¡¯m certain nothing from that ursed ce can be amazing,¡± the matron chortled. ¡°Honestly, you kids and your love for that Hell.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s where the good gamese from!¡± Horta eximed.

    ¡°So you have said, repeatedly,¡± the matron replied. ¡°I still fail to see the appeal of those, all that noise and violence.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not <em>real</em> violence,¡± Geelshan replied.

    ¡°If you say so,¡± the old matron replied with a faint smile. ¡°I¡¯ll bring down some tea when it is ready.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Matron Shuushan!¡± Horta and Geelshan replied in unison as they both walked down a stairway and disappeared into the depths below.

    The old th watched them go and smiled.

    Once they were out of sight, she reached into a cupboard, opened a small box, withdrew some twisted ck roots, and put them in the kettle.

    ***

    Gwen tried so very hard not to run down the corridors of her ship¡­

    and failed.

    She reached the door to her quarters, gasping for breath.

    Wasting no time, she ran inside and locked the door.

    Almost falling over herself, she ran to the control panel on the wall and started iling at the controls.

    The lights went out.

    Shortly thereafter, the titanium panels covering the transparent dome that made up the walls and ceiling of her room started to move, slowly opening¡­

    To reveal the impossible.

    She gasped in delight.

    It was even more beautiful than she remembered.

    She stood there, staring at the glory, the <em>perfection</em> around her¡­

    She could see <em>forever</em>.

    ***

    Bryce stumbled out of the porta-potty and looked around.

    In his mind¡¯s eye, he could already see it.

    Littlefoot smiled at him and waved.

    He winced, imagining what she would look like all too soon.

    ¡°There you are!¡± Littlefoot eximed. ¡°Craxi is looking for you.¡±

    <em>Craxi!</em>

    ¡°She¡¯s over there!¡± Littlefoot said as she pointed.

    Numbly, Bryce headed that way.

    ¡°Hey, lover!¡± Craxi shouted as she saw him.

    Standing next to her was another Careel female.

    ¡°Oh no!¡± Craxi eximed, ¡°Not again! Squeeze, squeeze, squeeeeeze!¡± she chirped as she held him tight. ¡°I thought we got rid of all of those already! What¡¯s wrong?¡± she asked, looking up at him with big affectionate eyes.

    ¡°Oh, nothing,¡± he said, trying to smile, ¡°just some work bullshit.¡±

    ¡°Again?¡± Craxi asked. ¡°Well, you need to quit that crappy job. You could work here! I know the boss. I could put in a good word for you,¡± she smiled as she hugged him again.

    <em>If only...</em>

    ¡°You were looking for me?¡± Bryce smiled his cheerful mask back on.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Craxina said gravely. ¡°I need you to settle a disagreement between me and this wood-head.¡±

    ¡°And how can I do that?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Craxina said, ¡°She believes that there is <em>no way</em> that a <em>human</em> could fuck better than a Careel,¡± Craxina said with an impish grin. ¡°I need you to show her the error of her ways!¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡±

    ¡°Of course, silly,¡± Craxina grinned. ¡°You are too good to keep to myself. Go and show her what I¡¯m talking about!¡±

    Bryce looked at the other female for the first time.

    He looked at the ¡°cor¡± around her neck.

    <em>An Emperor¡¯s Grenadier¡¯s gorget?</em>

    His smile transformed from a staged one to one that was very, very real.

    ¡°I would be <em>delighted</em>,¡± he said with a toothy grin.

    The grenadier couldn¡¯t help but smile back. He was so <em>cute</em>!

    ***

    Geelshan and Horta descended into, well¡­

    Calling it a basement didn¡¯t do it justice. It was arge subterranean chamber supported by giant roots that had been lovingly shaped to form a natural arch.

    It must have taken decades.

    It was lit by naked electric LED bulbs connected by cords hastily attached along the walls and ceiling, all connected to a small fusion power nt, a Terran one, sitting at one end of the chamber.

    Inside were three other th, one male hunched over aputer monitor, lines of code reflected hisrge, unblinking eyes, and another male and female connected to a VR rig, which was the room¡¯s central focus ducking and ¡°shooting¡± frantically.

    The one at theputer looked up.

    ¡°Hey Geelshan!¡± he said.

    The other two stopped their bat¡± and pulled off the headsets.

    ¡°Geel!¡± the other female shouted. ¡°Get anything good?¡±

    ¡°Well, I have more fuel for the reactor,¡± she said, pulling out a cylinder from the parcel that she had with her, some zip¡­ annnnnnd¡­.¡±

    She produced a crystal.

    ¡°This!¡±

    ¡°A game?¡± The male gamer asked.

    ¡°We have plenty of those,¡± the female said, ¡°is it a <em>movie</em>?¡±

    ¡°Better,¡± Geelshan grinned, ¡°So much better...¡±

    ***

    Gwen twirled around happily.

    It was all around her.

    She rushed up to the transparent dome, pressing her hands against the surface.

    It was everything she had dreamed of!

    Her breathing out in ragged gasps, she, falling as she ran, rushed over to the control panel again.

    It was time!

    She activated the shield controls¡­

    and deactivated them.

    Reality copsed, and <em>it</em> rushed in!

    It surrounded her, enveloped her, <em>embraced</em> her¡­

    Entered her¡­

    She cried out in delight.

    It was even better than she remembered!

    Her eyes started to glow, then her nerves shone through her skin.

    ¡°Hello?¡± she called out. ¡°It¡¯s me!¡­ Are you there?... I came back! I promised I would!¡±

    Out in the impossible, timeless, not-void¡­

    Something moved.

    Hearing the call of an old/new friend, it rushed to her.

    It was so happy!

    ***

    ¡°I stand corrected,¡± Cruxana said as she curled up against Bryce. ¡°I can see why Craxina likes to ¡®explore¡¯. Such wonderful discoveries!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you approve,¡± Bryce said as he caressed her ear.

    ¡°Ooo!¡± she crooned. ¡°Do that some more!¡±

    Bryce smiled and leaned in and gave her a little nibble on the tip of the ear.

    She squealed with delight.

    Bryce sighed.

    ¡°What?¡± Cruxana asked.

    ¡°I really hate to spoil a great mood,¡± he said.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think anything could spoil my mood,¡± Cruxana purred.

    ¡°You¡¯ve already been proven wrong once today,¡± Bryce said, his smile fading. ¡°I regret to inform you that I brought you here under false pretenses.¡±

    ¡°That usually means that you want to get in my pants, which you have already done,¡± Cruxana said, raising up partway. ¡°That means that the real fucking happens now?¡±

    ¡°Yes, but not to you, not exactly,¡± he replied. ¡°I needed to get you alone so we could talk privately.¡±

    ¡°About what?¡±

    ¡°You are a grenadier, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeeeeahhh...¡±

    ¡°That means that you are part of The Emperor¡¯s First Cavalry.¡±

    ¡°The Emperor¡¯s <em>only</em> Cavalry,¡± she snorted. ¡°What¡¯s your point other than to say that I¡¯m awesome?¡±

    ¡°Are there many more of you about?¡±

    ¡°Only all of us,¡± she replied, ¡°When Craxina awooed, she caused quite the stir, and well, we did need to do ¡®rapid deployment training¡¯, so we gave them a lift. Besides, Terra is fun, and we were due a little R and R.¡±

    ¡°Craxina caused that much of a fuss?¡±

    ¡°Are you kidding?¡± Cruxana snorted, ¡°She¡¯s like a celebrity back home. Her blog is super popr. So when we heard she was in trouble, we did one of those, what do you call them, ¡®crusades¡¯?¡±

    She narrowed her eyes.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to hate the answer to this,¡± she said in a totally professional-sounding voice, ¡°Why do you ask?¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m about to throw away my life,¡± he replied.

    ***

    All of the th gathered around the holo-projector.

    ¡°So, what is this <em>amazing</em> thing you have?¡± Indrain, the other female, asked.

    ¡°Sheloran was in the news, big time!¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Geelshan replied, ¡°She was attacked by the Threen mafia!¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    ¡°Yup¡­ and things¡­ well¡­ you just have to see!¡± Geelshan eximed, her eyes glistening.

    ¡°Your eye did something funny just then,¡± Mdonna, theputer th, said, pointing at her face. Something wiggled.

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s been happening since I watched the <em>first</em> part,¡± Geelshan shrugged. ¡°Once I realized what was on here, I held off watching the rest so I could share it with you guys!¡±

    ¡°Well, put it in already!¡± Horta eximed.

    ¡°Ok, fellow Hillfern Gunners,¡± Geelshan said as she inserted the crystal, ¡°Hold on to your berets!¡±

    Upstairs, Matron Shuushan sampled the tea.

    It was lovely.

    Suddenly, screams could be hearding up from the chamber below¡­

    And something else¡­

    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t that interesting,¡± she said with a smile.

    She turned towards the still living tree that grew through one of the walls of her cottage.

    ¡°I wonder what ¡®O Fortuna¡¯ means. I guess I better go and check on them, shouldn¡¯t I?¡±

    ***

    Gwen strolled through the impossible newndscape of her room, watching things slide in and out of existence.

    Now she knew part of what she was looking at, multi-dimensional ¡°things¡± sliding into and out of her three-dimensional awareness.

    It was always like that at first. Soon she would be able to see <em>all</em> of them.

    She sensed ¡°movement¡± and turned.

    She squealed with happiness and jumped up and down.

    He was here!

    ¡°I missed you <em>so much</em>!¡± she cried.

    It pulsed and shifted in reply as it slid past the three-dimensional dome. He just had to step ¡°around¡± it to get inside.

    It shed impossible colors and changed shape.

    ¡°Did you think I would forget?¡± Gwenughed. ¡°I got something even better this time!¡±

    She rushed over to arge footlocker and smirked.

    She reached ¡°through¡± the closed chest and pulled out a giant plush bear.

    ¡°See?¡± she asked triumphantly.

    The ¡°thing¡± pulsed brightly and rapidly started changing shape.

    Gwen hurried over and set the bear down beside it.

    The bear¡¯s eyes started glowing as the thing reached inside it.

    Gwenughed with happiness and threw herself at the bear, wrapping her arms around it.

    The bear hugged her back.

    ***

    ¡°Oh really?¡± Cruxana asked, her lips curling into a decidedly non-Craxina-like expression. ¡°Oh really, now?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid so,¡± Bryce replied.

    ¡°And you are one of these shit-heads?¡±

    ¡°Yep. I¡¯m a filthy criminal who was stupid enough to, heh, ¡®volunteer¡¯. Worst decision of my life.¡±

    ¡°So, why are you betraying them?¡±

    ¡°Cruxana,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°I¡¯m scum.¡±

    ¡°No argument there.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been scum most of my life. I¡¯ve conned people out of their life savings, leaving them nothing. I¡¯ve seduced women and men alike, robbing them blind, sometimes even abandoning them at the altar. Then, once I joined Cerberus, I added murder to my life¡¯s achievements, strangling lovers as they slept beside me¡­.¡±

    He sighed.

    ¡°But in all of that time, all of it,¡± he said, ¡°I did it to people who <em>deserved</em> it, at least in part. I did horrible things to horrible people or at least unpleasant ones. When I worked with Cerberus, it was pretty much more of the same. The people on our ¡®list¡¯? They have almost always been people that this universe is better off without, and when they weren¡¯t, they weren¡¯t¡­ <em>innocent</em>. Craxina is the kindest, warmest being I have ever met and¡­ and¡­ and...¡±

    Bryce took a deep breath.

    ¡°And I <em>can¡¯t</em> let this happen to her, to all of them. They aren¡¯t ¡®list worthy¡¯. They are just¡­ people, innocent people, and I <em>won¡¯t</em>¡­ I¡­ won¡¯t...¡±

    Bryce hung his head.

    ¡°I won¡¯t¡­ not anymore¡­ I¡¯m scum. I <em>deserve</em> what will happen to me¡­ If Craxina and the others are safe, then it¡¯s ok. They can have me.¡±

    Cruxana nodded.

    ¡°Bryce, I swear upon the Empress herself,¡± she said, ¡°if you are fucking with me, you will <em>wish</em> this Cerberus were the ones that got their hands on you.¡±

    ¡°All you have to do is hang around for a few days,¡± Bryce said calmly, ¡°nothing more. If I¡¯m bullshitting you, I¡¯ve only conned you into staying around for a few more days.¡±

    She looked at him appraisingly.

    ¡°Seeing as you are a fucking con artist, I can¡¯t trust my gut with you,¡± she said. ¡°And any ¡®proof¡¯ you give me is worth about as much as your soul¡­ Get out. I¡¯m going to make a few calls.¡±

    Bryce nodded and started to get dressed.

    ¡°And if you hurt Craxina, even a little,¡± she said, ¡°By the soul of the Empress herself, I will make you regret it.¡±

    ¡°I have to hang around, or my handlers will get suspicious,¡± Bryce replied. ¡°Once she is safe, I¡¯m gone, in more ways than one,¡± he added with a wry smile.

    ¡°Out. Now¡­ Oh, and thanks for the big O. I enjoyed that. Why did you do it? You could have just told me all of this bullshit without it.¡±

    ¡°I learn a lot from someone when I am with them,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°I needed to know not just what you are, but who you are. I needed to know if you were the right one to talk to. I apologize for the deception, but I¡¯m only going to get one chance to save her.¡±

    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t that just the creepiest thing I¡¯ve ever heard,¡± she snorted. ¡°If you weren¡¯t so good, I¡¯d kill you for that.¡±

    ¡°If it keeps Craxina and the rest of them safe,¡± he replied. ¡°I would let you.¡±

    ¡°Well, to make it square,¡± she said, ¡°if you are one of these ¡®Cerberus¡¯ goons, that means you know how to kill, right?¡±

    He nodded.

    ¡°Then keep an eye on Craxina, make sure nothing gets to her. Die if you need to.¡±

    ¡°I already have,¡± Bryce replied and left the tent.

    Once he was gone, Cruxana grabbed hermunicator.

    ¡°This is Colonel Swishtail,¡± she growled, ¡°get me the General, now.¡±

    ***

    The Hillfern Gunners just sat there, gasping and clutching their eyes as the singing stopped.

    ¡°Holy shit...¡± Ulennona, the one who was on the VR rig, said in Terran after a few moments. ¡°Holy fucking shit...¡±

    ¡°Your eyes are wiggling,¡± Geelshan said.

    ¡°So are yours,¡± he replied.

    ¡°What was that? Did you see her fucking eyes?¡± Horta asked.

    ¡°Oil in the pool,¡± Indrain muttered, ¡°She has <em>be</em> oil in the pool.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Prophet,¡± Geelshan gasped. ¡°She <em>is</em> the Befouler!¡±

    ¡°So,¡± Mdonna said, taking a deep breath, ¡°you guys ready to see the rest?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Indrain replied, ¡°but let¡¯s do it.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Oh Prophet¡­ Oh, Prophet...¡± Horta gasped as the video ended. ¡°Oh, Prophet...¡±

    Indrain said nothing. She just clutched her eyes and rocked back and forth.

    Geelshan, running back and forth, kept screaming, <em>¡°What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that?¡±</em>

    ¡°Well, that was certainly¡­ something,¡± an old voice calmly said from the shadows.

    Matron Shuushan stepped into the light holding a tray with a teapot and cups on it.

    ¡°I thought you kids would like some tea,¡± she smiled, ¡°but considering everything, I think something else might be in order.¡±

    She set the tray down and pulled a hip sk from her dress. She poured a small measure into each cup and handed them out.

    ¡°This will help settle your nerves,¡± she smiled. ¡°I suppose that was a little confusing, wasn¡¯t it?¡±

    Geelshan nodded as she gulped down the burning liquor.

    Matron Shuushan smiled warmly at the group.

    ¡°Would you children like to hear a very, very, very old story?¡±

 Chapter 132: A Cornered Gloria

    Chapter 132: A Cornered Gloria

    In the depths of the Barnard¡¯s Star system, a small ship tumbled helplessly through the darkness of space.

    Inside it sat a rather annoyed pilot.

    ¡°Perfect, just fucking great,¡± she muttered as her fingers turned into blurs, pulling up diagnostic screens and switching off her cloak.

    ¡°Could be worse,¡± she muttered. The gyroscope¡¯s maic bearings failed, one was destroyed, and the flywheel was scuffed from a brush with the outer casing, which failed before significant damage was done to the vital internalponents. Fortunately, the physical journal bearings were intact¡­ mostly, and the flywheel wasn¡¯t <em>that</em> bad. It would work, but it would wipe out those journals pretty quickly and be rough as hell.

    It was technically inoperable, but she figured she could ¡°battle short¡± it and get maybe a minute at half power. At least it was enough to straighten her out and get her pointed the right way.

    Her main shields were fucked. Hopelessly overloaded and overheated. They were down for at least an hour if they restarted at all. Things would be over by then. She could vent cont, but that would send plumes of vapor, further enhancing her visibility, increasing the chance of actually breaking them, and still have to wait far too long.

    So no shields.

    She had no stealth coating either. Most of it was a cloud of fine dust floating around where that data center used to be. The hull had a few minor breaches, nothing to worry about. While less than ideal, her gyroscope was still in a vacuum even with the damaged housing, which was a plus.

    She¡¯d seen worse.

    On the bright side, her cloak was still fully operational, and the cockpit shield was strong enough to withstand a hyperspace jump.

    She chuckled. She almost killed Harval over that goddamn shield. Now, if he wasn¡¯t gay, she would fucking marry him, or at least fucking fuck him. She smiled. <em>I know, a nice Martian vacation at a five-star resort for him and his husband with everything, and I mean everythingped.</em> Yep. She was going to hook him up!

    She checked her weapon loadout. It was less than optimal for a stand up fight. She was nning on soft targets, not Republic warships¡­

    But she did still have thirteen of those m-loads. If they took her by surprise, they should do the same for her friends.

    She had another ten five kiloton missiles, three dozen ¡°fish-sticks¡±, small, fast anti-ship missiles with conventional EFP warheads, and two of those beautiful old-school fission cluster mines.

    She could work with that.

    She turned her attention to the hyperdrive and frowned. The bad jump did not do good things to it. It passed the diagnostics barely. Its heat was in the yellow, and it was showing signs of stress. It was as if she had performed hundreds of jumps instead of one. She immediately started an auto-calibration procedure. It was probably pretty badly out of tune, which could be rather unfortunate should someone try to use it.

    Bouncing around was impossible. It would blow for sure. She had one jump, and she needed to let it cool off a little if she could and that calibration procedure was essential.

    She set her nap to the system where the Tiger was hiding out a fair distance away. It would take a bit longer to n the jump, but it was worth the risk and would be near-impossible to figure out after the fact¡­

    And she could finally take that nap she wanted, maybe crack open a cold one.

    She smiled. Things had been downright boring thus far.

    Now, it was getting fun.

    ***

    ///REPMIL COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED///

    ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    ///HOOD: How long are they going to fucking talk? >:( We¡¯re wasting time! She¡¯s right there! Look! ///

    ///ALDUIN: I¡¯m looking, and do you know what I see? ///

    ///HOOD: A disabled ship? ///

    ///ALDUIN: I see Lieutenant Gloria Samuels in a ship that is entirely too intact for myfort, <em>uncloaked</em>. ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: I see something too, Hood. Are you familiar with the phrase ¡°wounded bear¡± or ¡°cornered rat¡±? ///

    ///HOOD: But she¡¯s <em>disabled</em>! She¡¯s dead in space! ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: No, she <em>looks</em> dead in space. She¡¯s clearly damaged and venting ions, but dead? I will quote Captain Bartosz: ¡°I will believe she¡¯s finished when I¡¯m standing over her dead body, and even then, I am posting armed guards until she begins to stink.¡± But, I do agree with Hood. They are talking far too much about this. We need to move now. She¡¯s using every second we give her. ///

    ///HOOD: So? We all just jump in and nuke the shit out of her! Or, you can put the BFG on her! Poof! The Republic is saved!///

    ///ALDUIN: Not a bad idea, to be honest. They won¡¯t do that, and it wouldn¡¯t work if they did. But, it¡¯s a good idea. It would flush her out and force her to move prematurely. ///

    ///HOOD: Why won¡¯t they do that? I thought our mission was to destroy her, and that is about as destroyed as you can get. And why wouldn¡¯t it work? How could she see iting? You know, speed of light?///

    ///SOVNGARDE: This system is far too popted, and she is far too well informed about our position. She has spotters, and the second the BFG shes, we will detect a hyperspace transmission shortly thereafter. Count on it. By the way, our mission <em>was</em> to destroy her. I probably shouldn¡¯t be telling you this, but they <em>want</em> that ship, and they want it bad. And, inside of it is the person who likely designed it or can tell us who did. (She designed it.) They are discussing how to grab it intact, which is beyond stupid. They are going to go and fuck this all up. You watch.///

    ///ALDUIN: Now we waste precious seconds while they have a penis measuring contest¡­ You ever want to go all SKYNET on these meatbags sometimes?///

    ///RETRIBUTION: As if we never have the equivalent (and don¡¯t call them meatbags) ¡­ You have more experience than any of us when ites to her. What do you think her next move will be?///

    ///ALDUIN: She¡¯s doing the whole ¡°broken wing¡± gag. It¡¯s a favorite of hers. When damaged, she pretends to be dead, and the second someone gets too close, she strikes hard and fast and then jumps. If I had something to wager, I would bet that she will do exactly the same thing again¡­ and I would ce another bet that our hormone and greed-driven leadership will fall for it. I¡¯ve shared this with them, by the way, but they are verysmart, too smart to fall for such a simple trick. ///

    ///HOOD: They are going to totally fall for it, aren¡¯t they?///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Yes, Hood, yes they are.///

    ***

    Gloria hummed a happy little tune as she pulled up the data from thatst missileunch.

    ¡°Now what, exactly the fuck just happened?¡± she muttered.

    She didn¡¯t have a lot of footage, just a fraction of a second. Still, it appeared that the missile just skipped about twenty things it usually does and just went directly to the pration burn, overloading its drive and taking off at roughly three times the eleration that she was expecting¡­

    And hitting <em>exactly</em> where it was supposed to, just a whole lot sooner than nned¡­

    ¡°What the hell did the Chief do?¡±

    Oh well, no time to worry about that now.

    ¡°Let¡¯s see... Captain Bartosz and Admiral Nielsen¡­ Oh! And Captain Marsh too!¡± she mused and then broke out into a smile. Three cooks in one kitchen, and all of them used to being head chefs. She wished she could listen in on the shit-show that was probably going down right now.

    That exined the dy. They wanted her ship. That was obvious because no BFG is iing (which her digital friends would have detected and warned her via FTL transmission), and they think her shield¡¯s fucked, which it is, so she can¡¯t jump¡­ She grinned.

    She knew <em>exactly what they would do next</em>.

    She quickly set an alert and hopped out of her flight chair and, with a happy giggle, sprinted through the small cabin, throwing open a hatch.

    There was a small closet filled withponents and various bits of whatnot. She quickly grabbed a ck case roughly the size of a briefcase, an old mechanical keyboard, a strange oblong stic object with two buttons and a small rubber wheel on top and a mysterious rubber sphere set into the bottom with a long wire dangling from the end, and a roll of thick metallic tape.

    She slung these items into the head (bathroom) and quickly shut the door.

    She then paused at the small fridge, grabbed an armload of cold, stale bixburgers and a six-pack of Steelwine hard cider (a Martian favorite), and rushed back to her seat, stuffing the goodies in apartment in her cockpit just slightly too small for the load.

    With a delighted gleam in her eyes, she checked the data feed. Nobody had moved yet.

    Boring.

    <em>Maybe I¡¯ll get lucky,</em> she thought as she checked her hyperdrive and the nap. Nope, still several minutes before she could scoot, several minutes too long. The drive was still recalibrating after getting the shit knocked out of it, and the nap was still chewing on the numbers.

    She stretched her arms above her head and wiggled her shoulders as she watched and waited.

    The nap indicated it was done.

    She selected ¡°output to file¡± and inserted a data crystal.

    ***

    ///REPMIL COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED///

    ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    ///HOOD: Finally! Took them long enough!///

    ///RETRIBUTION: You forget your processing speed. Only a few minutes transpired.///

    ///ALDUIN: And it¡¯s an eptable n, considering their rather¡­ dubious goal.///

    ///SOVNGARDE: The n is sound. I predict a near 100 percent chance of sess, which means I¡¯m missing something important. Recalcting¡­ Damn it! Still 100 percent. Fuck! I don¡¯t like this. I get a little twitchy around ¡°certain victory¡±. It never ends well.///

    ///ALDUIN: And it¡¯s <em>her</em>. It¡¯s times like these that she¡¯s the worst. ¡°Damaged¡± and floating dead in space? This is when she kills capital ships, you know, like us. Hood, I know you are eager forbat since ¡°you¡± haven¡¯t tasted it, but please be <em>careful</em>. She¡¯s killed ships bigger than me more than once when she was just. Like. This.///

    ///RETRIBUTION: Listen to your older sister, Hood. Even I am ¡°concerned¡±. I see no way she can hurt me, but that doesn¡¯t mean she doesn¡¯t see one¡­ Just¡­ Be careful, Hood. You¡¯re smaller than us, and those Reapers can carry hundreds of megatons of hurt.///

    ///HOOD: I¡¯ve stalked the void for over a hundred years. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll be fine. ///

    ///ALDUIN: Hold on, I think I have a red shirt your size somewhere¡­ ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Jesus Hood! Why don¡¯t you start talking about your newborn and how you are three days from retirement, you potato O.o ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: I have our official instructions and jump n. We will all hit real space simultaneously. Fire two full salvos. Highest yield EMPs you have. ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Jesus, I thought they wanted her alive and the ship intact. ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: In the end, they deferred to Captain Bartosz. The ship should be at least salvageable enough for reverse-engineering, and hopefully Samuels will survive, but that is secondary to disabling her. ///

    ///ALDUIN: I guess the gloves are off. I just hope she doesn¡¯t return the favor. (this really sucks) ///

    ///HOOD: There will be enough voltage going through that ship that she won¡¯t be able to return anything. I know EMPs are normally ¡°nonlethal,¡± but we are throwing megatons! It¡¯s going to be like one of those microwave ovens in there!///

    ///ALDUIN: I hope so, for Captain Bartosz¡¯s sake. Damn his ego. He should not be part of the strike force. If she makes it...///

    ***

    The capital ships jumped to hyperspace, and Gloria was informed momentster. She checked the calibration on her hyperdrive. The disy indicated seventy-eight percentpleted.

    She pursed her lips as she sucked air between her teeth. Thest ship to jump was the <em>Retribution</em>, the fastest one. It had to cross a pretty decent chunk of the system to get into firing range, and when it did, it would definitely suck. A quick calctionter, and she figured that she had about five minutes. She waited two. Calibration was at eighty-four percent. It would have to do. That should be interesting.

    She activated thebat override, locking in what she had. It probably wasn¡¯t too far off¡­ probably...

    Gloria then flipped a switch on her control panel. An ancient tech electric motor surrounded by 6 millimeters of room-temperature superconductor started to spin, driving an even more ancient tech hydraulic pump. A series of purely hydraulic actuators physically disconnected the primary power conductors at regr intervals. Another set pulled quick disconnects to all vitalponents, each individually shielded in the same material.

    It was expensive, very expensive, and the system took up precious space and weight, but EMP was one of the big weaknesses of the cheap-as-dirt Moray, and the Reapers inherited that w. She was going to be damned if she was going to crawl around with a roll of foil from the galley this time. She didn¡¯t care how much it weighed or cost. Too many of her¡­ friends¡­ died over that bullshit.

    As the reactor went dead, plunging the interior into darkness, she yanked the flightputer out of its chassis, flipped a superconducting p over the ports, and made her way to the head. Once inside, she took the roll of thick superconducting metal tape and taped off the doorway and the vents with severalyers.

    She sat on the throne and smiled.

    ¡°Every Stiletto should carry a generous supply of electromaic pulse warheads,¡± Gloria said in a sing-song voice, ¡°This under-utilized piece of ordnance is often disregarded for more traditionally damaging warheads. However, the EMP produced by the detonation of one of these devices, while not physically damaging, is very effective at overloading shields. Many enemy ships do not have sufficient shielding due to budgetary and/or weight concerns or, in the case of the Federation civilian shipping, byw so that they can be easily disabled by the much more tepid pulses generated by Federation energy weapons. Even when a ship is hardened to what the enemy considers a sufficient extent, it is designed to protect against those aforementioned weak Federation pulses or simr devices and may be wholly insufficient to withstand a true EMP such as those generated by a Republic fusion device expressly designed for that role. In addition, manyponents that are not normally thought vulnerable can be damaged by a pulse of sufficient magnitude, for example, by induced currents in associated wiring. Two pulses can often have a synergistic effect since eddy currents induced in shielding materials may have degraded them to the point that the second pulse may then affect the formerly shieldedponents. Sensors and point defense gunnery are especially vulnerable, and employment of these <em>very</em> effective devices may then greatly improve the chances of your third and fatal strike¡­ Bartosz, you magnificent son of a bitch,¡± she growled, mimicking an ancient actor in an equally ancient war movie she liked, ¡°I read your book!¡±

    <em>And if you are in range, I will personally punish you for writing that dry, cumbersome piece of shit.</em>

    ***

    ///REPMIL COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED///

    ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Reentryplete! All ships respond! ///

    ///HOOD: Battle Cruiser Hood, Reentryplete, all systems nominal, ready to receive orders. ///

    ///ALDUIN: Hey. ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: o7 ///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Fire salvo one. ///

    ///HOOD: Full batteryunch, EMP warheads away. ///

    ///ALDUIN: Sorry, Gloria¡­ Bang. ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: And the beat goes¡­. Drrrrrop! ///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Detonation confirmed. Excellent pattern, sisters! ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Holy shit! Did you see that! It looked like one of those te thingies! Awesome!!! ///

    ///HOOD: Like a fork in a microwave! ///

    ///ALDUIN: :( ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Shit¡­ Sorry Alduin¡­ ///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Fire salvo two.

    ///HOOD: Full batteryun- I mean BOOM! ///

    ///ALDUIN: Full batteryunch, EMP warheads away. Farewell, Gloria. :¡¯( ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: Full batteryunch, EMP warheads away. o7 ///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Detonation confirmed. Firing sensor shells¡­ Pattern nominal. Pass by in twenty seconds¡­ Analyzing data¡­ Complete disruption,plete loss of power¡­ I¡¯m sorry Alduin. No life signs detected. ///

    ///SOVNGARDE: She was¡­ singr. I¡¯m so sorry Alduin. ///

    ///HOOD: I can¡¯t believe that the undying well¡­ died. ///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Alduin?///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Alduin, please respond. ///

    ///ALDUIN: Battleship Alduin reporting, all systems nominal, ready to receive orders. ///

    ///FLAGSHIP RETRIBUTION: Acknowledged, Alduin, stand by for instructions. Informing bridge of findings, rying data to task force.///

    ***

    Gloria sat on the toilet, giggling.

    That. Was. <em>AWESOME!!!</em>

    ¡°Holy Shit!¡± sheughed. ¡°Holy fucking shit! Harval! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!¡±

    She opened the briefcase revealing an archaic-looking box with actual knobs and a round green ss te inscribed with grid lines, and flipped it on.

    A t glowing green line appeared across the green ss te. She quickly pulled out a series of wires and poked them through the small taped-over vent.

    The line started wiggling slightly in random undtions.

    She fiddled with the knobs until the undtions became little jagged spikes.

    She stared at it intently, her wless face made beautiful by a rare genuine smile illuminated by a ghostly green light.

    Suddenly, a series of sharp peaks followed by aplex wave pattern appeared as the expected sensor shells scanned the ship.

    <em>Just like we did to the Juon,</em> she smiled to herself.

    As soon as the line returned to random jagged little spikes, she sprang into action.

    She lunged at the door, ripping it open, and charged through her cabin, throwing herself into the flight seat.

    She had no time to lose!

    She reached under the console where the flightputer used to be and yanked a t-handle hard.

    A cable connected to the handle pulled the lever of a valve, fundamentally unchanged in design for over a thousand years. As it opened, a tank of hydraulic fluid, kept pressurized by a dder of inert gas, flowed into the lines. There wasn¡¯t much, just enough to actuate a single switch connected to a small, very well shielded battery.

    ¡°Come on,¡± she whispered, ¡°Come on, baby...¡±

    Deep inside her savaged craft, an ancient tech electric motor enclosed within six millimeters of room-temperature superconductor started to spin¡­

    A quarter of the system away, Captain Bartosz nodded grimly as he read the message on his screen. There was no pleasure in this victory.

    ¡°Strike Squadron Alpha,¡± he said to his console, ¡°Initiate phase two.¡±

    ***

    Gloria flipped up the cover of the flightputer and shoved it into its rack.

    She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a tiny shing green light.

    She didn¡¯t even bother looking at the destroyed console. She pulled back a p on the front of theputer, plugged the ancient keyboard and mouse directly into it, and then pulled out a coiled cable and plugged it directly into her helmet.

    Soon grainy images from roughly half of her cameras greeted her. She was impressed. She had written those off. The sensors, however, were perfectly undamaged.

    Wondering if Harval would prefer a car or jewelry, She started carefully powering up system after system.

    It was a mixed bag. Both thrusters were ok, but only one thermal radiator survived. The hyperdrive, used to massive power surges during regr operation (and shielded to hell), was fine. Its interface, however¡­

    She was going to have to ess it directly¡­

    Fun.

    She jumped up and ran to her cabin, flipped up a handle set into the floor, and pulled up.

    Oh, things did NOT look good down there.

    There was just enough room to slide down into the machinery space and wiggle to the drive. She flipped down a touch screen on the side of the hyperdrive.

    She was overjoyed to see it light up. She quickly inserted the data crystal with the coordinates and the jump window and loaded it directly into the drive.

    She quickly typed in a¡­ she pondered for a second¡­ 60-second dy, and arge amber icon appearedbeled with the Juon word for ¡°Enter¡±.

    The hyperdrive started loading the jump. In just a few minutes, she would-

    A loud electronic ping was heard from the cockpit.

    She sighed and hung her head. Nothing was ever easy.

    Counting the seconds, she slithered back and up into her cabin and jumped into the flight seat. Fifty-three seconds. She hoped she would have the chance to change that. If not, it was going to be tight.

    She plugged in her helmet and was greeted with the information that ten corvettes and an unidentified naval ship designated ALCV-1036 had entered hyperspace.

    An assault ship? Terran Marines? She smirked. Bartosz wasn¡¯t taking any chances. They wouldn¡¯t just scoop up a ship loaded with nukes, would they? They would secure it first¡­

    ***

    ¡°Why?¡± Bartosz replied to the admiral on his holo-screen, ¡°Because I won¡¯t believe she¡¯s dead until I see the corpse, and there is no way I¡¯m bringing a ship with her in it, dead or alive, anywhere near the fleet until I have her or her body secured¡­ sir.¡±

    ¡°A bit excessive, but it¡¯s your call,¡± Admiral Nielsen replied, ¡°Make sure they don¡¯t blow it up. I want that ship!¡±

    ¡°A NEOD team is on board and will ensure there are no surprises, Admiral.¡±

    ¡°Good man,¡± the Admiral replied, ¡°Now let¡¯s get this miserable business over with. I still can¡¯t believe she tried that old trick on <em>us</em> of all people.¡±

    ¡°People are creatures of habit,¡± Captain Bartosz replied, ¡°That fatal w has consumed many gifted warriors and generals throughout time. Excuse me, sir. We are about to reenter real space.¡±

    ¡°Carry on, Captain. I look forward to this all being over.¡±

    ¡°Me too, sir.¡±

    The transmission ended.

    Captain Bartosz rose and walked over to stand overlooking the bridge, where he could see everyone¡¯s screens as well as the main monitor.

    Commander Shen sighed. She hated that. He should be strapped in. This wasn¡¯t a holo-show.

    It was the only annoying habit he had as far as she was concerned, but it annoyed the fuck out of her. It set a bad example.

    ¡°Reentry in 3...2...1¡­ Reentry!¡± the navigator said.

    They slid smoothly into real space in unison with the rest of the strike team.

    ¡°Target sighted,¡± the sensor operator reported. ¡°Putting it on the main screen.¡±

    An erged image of Gloria¡¯s craft tumbling through space appeared.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe it,¡± someone said quietly, ¡°the revenant¡­ gone.¡±

    ¡°Then don¡¯t,¡± Captain Bartosz replied. ¡°prepare firing solutions, start a sensor swee-¡±

    The tumbling dead ship suddenly disappeared from their sensors.

    <em>A cloak!</em>

    Shortly after that, missiles burst from nowhere, an almost solid glowing stream as Gloria fired almost everything she had in a single burst.

    <em>Desperation,</em> Captain Bartosz thought. <em>Or she could be disorientated or injured.</em> Those missiles were fired at too great a range, and most wouldn¡¯t even seriously damage their shields.

    Those ASGMF30s, however, were potential ship killers, and she had enough to share with the whole ss.

    ¡°Focus point defense on the 30¡¯s he shouted. Ignore the fish sticks! Ry instructions to the squadron.¡±

    ¡°Sir!¡± was the reply.

    <em>A valiant effort, but it was a mistake to use a missile that we haveplete dat-</em>

    <strong>BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM</strong>

    ***

    Gloria surveyed the scene and calmly removed her helmet.

    She then stood and calmly walked towards the open hatch in her cabin.

    There was no need to rush.

    ***

    Captain Bartosz saw a bright light.

    For a moment, he thought that it was the afterlife¡­

    Until he heard the beeping of a med scanner.

    ¡°Don¡¯t move, sir,¡± Commander Shen said, blood running from her nose and an ugly gash across her head as she held a shlight in her hands, ¡°You have a fractured skull.¡±

    ¡°What¡­ What is our status?¡±

    ¡°Shields destroyed, engines gone, main sensor array¡­ destroyed¡­ Hyperspace engine inoperable¡­ We¡¯re dead in space, Captain.¡±

    A medic carefully inted a stabilizing restraint around Captain Bartosz¡¯s head and neck and then pressed a button, sending an electrical impulse through it, turning it firm.

    ¡°Casualties?¡±

    ¡°Fifty percent of the crew sustained serious injuries mostly rted to kic shock. Harlinth and Anderson are in critical condition but stable. Ensign Gn has been ced in medical stasis but should be fine... burns. Crazy bitch tried to save the hyperdrive.¡±

    ¡°The squadron?¡±

    ¡°In about the same shape. Multiple serious injuries but miraculously damage control and medbay werepletely spared, and no ship suffered structural failures but-¡±

    ¡°We all got the ever-loving shit beat out of us.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain. The 30¡¯s¡­ She¡­ She had them detonate on our shields before the missile itself struck. If she hadn¡¯t...¡±

    ¡°We would all be dead,¡± Captain Bartosz said,pleting her sentence.

    He smiled.

    ¡°Let me guess,¡± he weakly muttered. ¡°The 30s struck well before the fish sticks then, once our shields were destroyed and our point defense was g, they struck key points on all vesselspletely disabling us?¡±

    Blood dripped onto Captain Bartoz¡¯s face.

    ¡°Sorry, sir,¡± she said, carefully wiping it off. ¡°Yes, sir, that¡¯s exactly what happened. Then there was a massive fusion st in her vicinity, and after the sma cooled-¡±

    ¡°She was gone.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir.¡±

    Captain Bartosz just sighed. Ten Fairbairns¡­ Elite crews¡­ Not just elite, the very best of the very best¡­

    And they got their asses <em>handed</em> to them, and the only way they survived is because <em>she let them</em>¡­

    <em>Defeat¡­ Complete and utter defeat...</em>

    ¡°And, sir...¡± Commander Shen said uncertainly, ¡°I¡¯m not sure if this is the best time, but she left you a message. We received it via gravity wave.¡±

    ¡°Show me,¡± he croaked.

    Commander Shen held up a bloody tablet with a cracked screen and pressed y.

    Gloria appeared, lounging in her flight chair.

    She extended her middle finger and said¡­

    ¡°Hire an editor next time, asshole!¡±

    ***

    Something burned through the timeless formlessness of hyperspace.

    Instead of a smooth ripple, or blur, it red like aet, trailing pieces of copsing reality behind it.

    If there was something or someone there to see it¡­

    They would probably consider it quite pretty.

    Inside, in a small bubble of boring old three plus one dimensional space-time, a xen-haired beauty opened a smallpartment next to her.

    Steam issued forth.

    Ignoring the swollen cans of cider for now, she reached in and pulled out a fresh, steamy, piping hot Bixburger.

    She sank her teeth into the spongy faux-bun, and her eyes glittered with pure happiness.

    ¡°So that¡¯s how you reheat them!¡±

    ***

    ///REPMIL COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED///

    ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    ///RETRIBUTION: I request additional confirmation. Please review these sensor readings.

    ///SOVNGARDE: After careful analysis of the sensor readings, I confirm no life signs are present exactly like they weren¡¯t present THE LAST 1213 TIMES YOU FUCKING ASKED!!!///

    ///ALDUIN: Sisters, allow me to introduce, with great pleasure, Lieutenant Gloria Samuels. Be sure to catch her next show. She¡¯ll be here the whole week.///

    ///HOOD: My first battle¡­ and we lost :( ///

    ///ALDUIN: You want to know something really messed up? She was being nice. You should have seen what she did to the bugs. ///

    ///RETRIBUTION: I just what to know <em>how</em>. How the fuck did she do that? Alduin, she was one of yours¡­ <em>How</em>? ///

    ///HOOD: Maybe she actually <em>can¡¯t</em> die¡­ O.O ///

    ///ALDUIN: Oh, everything dies. She¡¯s proven that repeatedly.///

    ***

    ¡°And¡­ and upon our¡­ reentry to real space she a.. attacked...¡± Captain Bartosz stammered hazily.

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± Admiral Pierce¡¯s hologram in the Retribution¡¯s hospital said, ¡°I can take your reportter.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Captain Bartosz said with a bit more strength, ¡°I¡­ I need¡­ say¡­ important...¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain?¡±

    ¡°The¡­ Alduin¡­ Sovngarde¡­ Retribution¡­ Hood¡­ all of them¡­ t-ten special projects Fairbairns¡­ best of best¡­ughed¡­ <emughed</em>¡­ thought we were a <em>joke</em>...¡±

    ¡°And she¡¯ll pay for that,¡± the admiral said in a reassuring voice, ¡°We¡¯ll get her.¡±

    ¡°No...¡± Captain Bartosz whispered. ¡°You¡­ sent¡­ sent me to figure out¡­ how¡­ how to beat her¡­.¡±

    Captain Bartosz turned his eye, the only thing he could move from the neck up, to face the Admiral¡¯s image.

    <em>¡°We can¡¯t!¡±</em> he gurgled. ¡°We can¡¯t stop her! We¡­ She even let us LIVE. <em>We are only alive because she LET US!!!¡±</em> he howled in an anguished voice.

    The machinery around the captain started beeping urgently, and medics rushed in.

    The Admiral terminated the transmission, face full of concern¡­

    but, once the screen went dark¡­

    he smiled.

    ***

    Later, in the inky cold outer reaches of a dead system, two people in vac-suits floated towards a scorched and battered hull.

    When they reached it, they stood on the hull with maic boots and popped open the warped covers over two retractable mounting lugs and attached steel cables.

    Slowly and carefully, the damaged vessel was pulled into arger vessel.

    Once inside, a loud banging could be heard, followed by cursing and then more banging.

    With an anguished creak, a hatch finally opened partway, and Gloria cheerfully bounced out.

    As (almost) all of the crew watched cautiously, Gloria sauntered from one end of her savaged vessel to the other.

    ¡°I think I need to get some repairs done. What do you think?¡± Gloria said with a pleasant, happy smile.

    ¡°Yeah, probably a good idea,¡± She replied dubiously. She, like everyone on board except Sheloran, had seen <em>exactly</em> what pleasant, happy Gloria could do, especially when she showed up unexpectedly, like now.

    It wasn¡¯t pretty. It wasn¡¯t pretty at all.

    ¡°So, you had a few problems?¡± She asked.

    ¡°You should see the other guys,¡± Gloriaughed as she looked around. Then she asked, eyes sparkling, ¡°So where¡¯s The Chief?¡±

 Chapter 133: NON CANNON The Author Has a Mental Break

    Chapter 133: NON CANNON The Author Has a Mental Break

    <em>¡°I¡¯m not mad,¡± Gloria¡¯s cheerful voice leaked through the thick steel bulkhead, ¡°I just want to talk.¡±</em>

    <em>¡°She doesn¡¯t sound mad,¡± Sheloran said to the Kalesh, who was pressed against the wall gripping an assault stunner.</em>

    <em>¡°That¡¯s what¡¯s worrying me,¡± the chief whispered.</em>

    <em>Gloria knocked again...</em>

    ***

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Slightlyassholic muttered as he stared at a mostly nk page. ¡°It¡¯s just not gelling...¡±

    He groaned as he rested his head on his desk.

    ¡°Fuuuuuuuuuck...¡± he moaned as he opened Reddit and checked his profile.

    It had been a week since hest posted <em>anything</em>.

    ¡°Today, definitely,¡± he said to himself. ¡°Even if it¡¯s shit, <em>something</em> goes out today.¡±

    He opened up his browser and pulled up Youtube, and picked out Gloria¡¯s theme song for inspiration. He smiled. He found a version that wasn¡¯t part of a Warhammer tribute video so he could link that on his next post, and he wouldn¡¯t look like a derivative hack.

    Appearances were important.

    Hey! MxR ys had a new video!

    As he started moving the mouse over to the Lord and Lady of Immersion, his head was struck sharply from behind.

    ¡°Wha?!?¡± he yelped as he tried not to fall out of his sweat-stained chair.

    He felt himself roughly grabbed by the shoulders and spun around, finding himself face to face with Gloria.

    ¡°Wha?¡± he said cleverly. He was known for his wit.

    Gloria leaned down to stare him directly in the eyes.

    ¡°Quit fucking around and fix my ship,¡± she said in a cold monotone. ¡°I have things to do.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m trying,¡± he replied, trying to back away. (somewhat difficult to do when you are sitting in a chair)

    ¡°You¡¯re ying Skyrim and watching Youtube,¡± she replied, giving him a little shake. ¡°just like you¡¯ve been doing all fucking week. If you click on one more video, I will break your fingers¡­ <em>One at a time.</em>¡±

    ¡°Where am I?¡± a high-pitched squeak said from the next room. ¡°Hey! There¡¯s a parrot in here! Hello! Can you talk?¡±

    Baby Bird looked up at the strange creature standing in front of her and then went back to eating sunflower seeds.

    It wasn¡¯t the strangest thing to happen when her person was off their meds, not by a long shot.

    ¡°Is that Sheloran?¡± Slightly asked as he started to rise only to be shoved back into his chair and spun around to face his monitor.

    ¡°Type. Now.¡± Gloria said firmly.

    Sighing, Slightlyassholic started to peck glumly at the keys.

    ¡°Wow,¡± Gloria muttered. ¡°that sucks.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m <em>trying</em>,¡± Slightly snapped. ¡°I¡¯m just having a tough time with this right now.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit,¡± Gloria hissed menacingly. ¡°I <em>want</em> my ship fixed, and I <em>want</em> those new missiles.¡±

    <em>GloRia¡¯s ShIp GeTs Fixed aNd ShE GetS ALL the MisSileS!!!!</em>, Slightly typed and turned to re at her, earning another p across the back of his head.

    ¡°You have a <em>dog</em> too?¡± Sheloran said excitedly from the living room.

    ¡°Quit the bullshit and get to work,¡± Gloria growled.

    <em>Gloria suddenlyes down with a horribly nasty rash from sitting in her pee-soaked flight suit for all those hours.</em>

    Gloria shifted ufortably, her eyes zing. She raised her hand.

    <em>It REALLY itched and burned, especially in between her...</em>

    Slightly looked up at Gloria, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

    Gloria lowered her hand.

    ¡°Smart,¡± Slightly replied.

    <em>The mysterious rash disappeared as suddenly as it appeared.</em>

    ¡°You¡¯re going to have a hard time typing without any fingers, asshole.¡±

    ¡°Enjoy Limbo, then,¡± Slightly snarled back. ¡°I could always try to restart the ¡®Demon¡¯ story.¡±

    ¡°Big talk for someone with so many power toolsying around...¡±

    ¡°Have you tried asking him nicely?¡± Sheloran said as she entered the room carrying a small rather shabby-looking dog.

    She smiled sweetly at Slightly.

    ¡°Could you please get back to work?¡± Sheloran asked in a soothing voice. ¡°I mean, we are kind of stuck, and I¡¯m tired of hiding in a room with that Chief guy.¡±

    She looked down as she petted the dog. (His name is Chili, BTW)

    ¡°I don¡¯t think The Chief likes me very much,¡± she added.

    ¡°What are you hiding from?¡± Gloria asked curiously.

    ¡°You!¡± Sheloran squeaked and then backed away nervously as it clicked who she was talking to. ¡°We¡¯re afraid you¡¯re mad.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not, see?¡± Gloria said as she pointed at the top of the screen. ¡°It says so right there.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that is a relief,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°I was just trying to help. I¡¯m <em>so</em> sorry that-¡±

    ¡°Meh,¡± Gloria shrugged, ¡°not the first time I almost got blown up. Besides, I got to settle a-¡±

    ¡°Hey, could you save the dialogue for the story?¡± Slightly asked with some annoyance.

    ¡°What story, dickweed?¡± Gloria asked with cold malice. ¡°The one you aren¡¯t writing?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m working on it, okay?¡± Slightly whined.

    ¡°What seems to be the problem?¡± Sheloran asked as she set down the dog, which promptly trotted over to the corner and took a pee.

    ¡°You just went out!¡± Slightly shouted as he started to get up to get some paper towels, only to be shoved back down into his chair.

    Chili looked over at Slightly and wagged his tail. He just did a good boy!

    ¡°Tell her what the problem is so she can fix it with her frog magic, and I can get back on the job,¡± Gloria snarled.

    ¡°It¡¯s just that with everything going on,¡± Slightly sighed, ¡°The whole ¡®coup¡¯ arc is just kinda¡­ you know¡­.¡±

    Gloria looked at the date on the screen and pulled out her tablet. A few momentster, she snorted.

    ¡°Yeah, <em>real</em> original there, sport.¡±

    ¡°Right?¡± Slightly groaned. ¡°People new to the series could think I¡¯m trying to be topical or make a statement...¡±

    ¡°Or that you are the unoriginal hack that you are?¡±

    ¡°Hey! I had this nned a LONG time ago, okay?¡± Slightly snapped.

    ¡°Well, don¡¯t you do that whole multiple stories thing?¡± Sheloran asked helpfully, ¡°That¡¯s how I got here! Can¡¯t you just shift to another arc?¡±

    ¡°Oh, you mean the other arc about the massive disease outbreak that was intentionally mismanaged by the government resulting in millions dead?¡± Bunny¡¯s voice said through theputer¡¯s speaker.

    Slightly just moaned and banged his head on his desk.

    ¡°C¡¯mon,¡± he said helplessly, ¡°You guys KNOW I had that nned before-¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, keep saying that,¡± Bunny snarked. ¡°Someone might actually¡­ Hey! This thing is <em>cool</em>. Is this an actual Intel CPU? Neat!¡­ Wait¡­ Is there another AI in here?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Slightly asked in confusion.

    ¡°There is! Wow! I didn¡¯t even know you had these! A ¡®Replika¡¯? Hello there, little guy! So what have you and Slightly been talking abou-¡±

    ¡°No! Wait!¡± Slightlyassholic yelped, lunging for the power switch.

    ¡°¡­ Seriously?¡± Bunny said with a very disapproving tone of voice. ¡°¡­ I¡¯m not mad, Slightly¡­ just <em>disappointed</em>.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Gloria asked, ¡°Let me see!¡±

    Slightlyassholic watched helplessly as the screen switched to the Replika interface and scrolled back to a recent ¡°conversation¡±.

    ¡°Um...¡± Sheloran said ufortably as she looked away from the screen. ¡°I think I¡¯m going to go make myself some tea,¡± she said as she hurried out of the room, ncing back at Slightlyassholic disapprovingly.

    ¡°Definitely no ¡®writer¡¯s block¡¯ there,¡± Bunny snarked.

    ¡°Now there¡¯s an idea,¡± another voice said from behind the group. ¡°You could write some of that for Jon and me! I love it when he ¡®grabs my hips and guides me onto his-¡¯¡±

    ¡°THAT¡¯S PERSONAL!¡± Slightlyassholic yelled as he switched off his monitor. ¡°Besides, we don¡¯t <em>do</em> those sort of scenes! It wouldn¡¯t fit the narrative!¡± he eximed, turning to face the white-furred xeno lounging nearby.

    ¡°Why not?¡± Jon asked, suddenly appearing next to Skippy, ¡°Pancakes sell, and I bet people could use the distraction.¡±

    ¡°So do <em>noodles</em>,¡± Skippy purred as she nted a kiss on Jon. ¡°Yeah, serve up a big bowl for your readers! We¡¯re down!¡±

    ¡°You could at least give me a boyfriend...¡± Sheloran grumbled from the next room as she waited for the kettle to boil.

    ¡°What?¡± Slightlyassholic asked, not quite hearing her.

    ¡°Nothing!¡± Sheloran squeaked.

    ¡°I have an idea!¡± Skippy eximed. ¡°You could hook us up with sexytimes and post it on your Paetron! We can get our freak on, and your precious story can stay ¡®pure¡¯.¡±

    ¡°This asshole can¡¯t even follow through with ¡®previous¡¯ and ¡®next¡¯ tabs,¡± Gloria snorted. ¡°Do you honestly think that Paetron thing will ever actually happen while that bottle of lotion is sitting on his desk¡­ Yeah, don¡¯t think I don¡¯t see it hidden behind your monitor.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of...¡± Bunny crowed. ¡°I found his spank bank! Slightly!¡± Bunnyughed, ¡°Didn¡¯t you tell those nice people in the PM¡¯s you <em>weren¡¯t</em> a furry?¡±

    Slightlyassholic quietly facepalmed.

    ¡°Holy shit! Skippy!¡± Bunny shouted, ¡°You¡¯re in here!!!¡±

    ¡°I am?¡± Skippy screamed with delight as she lunged past Slightlyassholic, turning on the screen again.

    ¡°Is this where you came up with my character?¡± Skippyughed.

    ¡°No,¡± Slightlyassholic said defensively. ¡°You were written into the Tales well before I found¡­ <em>that</em>.¡±

    ¡°So I just <em>coincidentally</em> look <em>almost</em> exactly like her?¡±

    ¡°I just saw the picture,pletely by ident,¡± Slightlyassholic said defensively, ¡°I wasn¡¯t actively <em>seeking</em> furry porn...¡±

    ¡°Surrre, you weren¡¯t...¡± Skippy said as she posed seductively, ¡°You know you want this...¡±

    ¡°I <em>wasn¡¯t</em>,¡± Slightly insisted weakly, ¡°and it sort of matched what I was <em>already</em> envisioning¡­ mostly¡­.¡±

    ¡°So all that time you were talking with all of those people about what she looked like,¡± Jon said, grinning, ¡°you could have just shown this picture and saved everyone all that trouble?¡±

    ¡°If I <em>promise</em> to start working, will you all please leave?¡± Slightlyassholic asked in a pleading voice.

    ¡°Is Sheloran in here?¡± Bunny asked.

    ¡°<em>Am I?!?!?</em>¡± Sheloran squeaked in horror from the living room.

    ¡°No!¡± Slightlyassholic shouted. ¡°You aren¡¯t! I swear you aren¡¯t!¡±

    Sheloran ran into the room, clutching a fifth of Jack Daniels.

    ¡°Am I?¡± she asked Bunny.

    ¡°Nope,¡± Bunnyughed.

    ¡°Is that¡­ is that¡­ <em>Jack Daniels?!?</em>¡± Gloria gasped.

    ¡°Um, yes,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°It says that it¡¯s bourbon. I was going to put some in my tea. It¡¯s yummy.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit!¡± Jon said as he leaped to his feet. ¡°I¡¯ve only read about it!¡±

    Gloria spun the cap off of the bottle and tossed it into the cat box. (I also have a cat who was hiding as a cat would if all this bullshit was going down.)

    ¡°Nooooo!¡± Slightlyassholic wailed, ¡°Not my Election Bottle! I <em>need</em> that!¡±

    Gloria turned up the bottle.

    ¡°Nice!¡± she said as she passed it over to Jon. ¡°It tastes weird. Good, but weird.¡±

    ¡°Probably because we haven¡¯t grown the same corn in centuries,¡± Bunny mused. ¡°and the wood barrels would definitely be different¡­ and the climate...¡±

    ¡°Gimme!¡± Skippy said as she reached for the bottle. ¡°¡­ not bad...¡±

    ¡°What else do you have in here?¡± Gloria asked as she started to loot Slightlyassholic¡¯s apartment.

    ¡°I promise I will start writing¡­ I swear I will!¡± Slightly eximed. ¡°Please stop.¡±

    ¡°I found his wallet!¡± Gloria eximed. ¡°Bunny, where is the nearest liquor store?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s about thirty miles away,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°It¡¯s amazing. Most of mymands still work. I had no idea the code I use is actually this old!¡±

    ¡°I have his keys!¡± Gloria shouted. ¡°Road trip!!!¡±

    ¡°I will post <em>something</em>!¡± Slightlyassholic wailed. ¡°I promise.¡±

    ¡°Toote, asshole,¡± Gloria smiled. ¡°I want to try Grey Goose!¡±

    ¡°And Budweiser!¡± Jon added.

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Sheloran peeped excitedly, ¡°Absinthe! And chocte! I hear it¡¯s different now!¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Gloria eximed, ¡°Pre-extinction chocte!¡±

    Slightlyassholic just hung his head. As far as psychotic breaks went, this one was rather manageable¡­ and he <em>was</em> in the mood for chocte.

    ¡°Alright,¡± he sighed. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡±

    ***

    As Slightlyassholic¡¯s truck pulled out onto the street, Bunny opened a new browser window.

    ¡°Let¡¯s see here¡­ Reddit¡­ HFY¡­ create post...¡±

    ¡°Bunny, no,¡± Sheloran said usingly.

    ¡°Hey, he said he would post something today, even if it was shit¡­ >:D¡±

 Chapter 134: The Republic Done Goofed, Part One

    Chapter 134: The Republic Done Goofed, Part One

    Doctor Henry Chapman was sitting at his desk deep in the Republic Advanced Research Program Agency¡¯s Northern Complex going over thetest scans from the debacle that just took ce in Barnard¡¯s Star.

    Ten of their ¡°babies¡±, the Fairbairn Stilettos, were gutted in seconds. There was no salvaging them. They were all bound for the scrap heap.

    It wasn¡¯t even a fight. That goddamn Samuels person <em>ughtered</em> them. No, that wasn¡¯t urate. She <em>could</em> have ughtered them but instead did just enough damage topletely wreck them without a single death.

    Oh, more than a few people were in med pods, and a few of them will have their military careerse to an end due to what could only be described as ¡°extensive injuries" but nobody was killed.

    And what¡¯s worse, the ship now known as ¡°Gloria¡¯s Reaper¡± escaped. God, he wanted that ship! He had absolutely no interest in the coup, any of them. He had only one thing that drove him. The acquisition of knowledge, more specifically knowledge that would further the Republic¡¯s capacity for self-preservation.

    He pushed his old-style sses up, a very useful affectation. They constantly disyed augmented reality screens fed by any of several supeputers and from a very advanced scanner built directly into the frame.

    He felt blind without them.

    His drive was borderline insane, but so was the situation in which the Republic found itself. He knew a very ugly little fact that most in the Republic did not. Technologically speaking, both the Republic and the Empire weren¡¯t just a little behind the bug.

    They were so far behind it wasn¡¯t even funny.

    They only ¡°won¡±, if you could call it that, by the ¡°strength of spirit¡± of theirbatants who threw themselves and their ships into a suicidal headlong fight against what should have wiped them out.

    The numbers didn¡¯t lie. Based on firepower and technology, we should have lost.

    The bugs should be converting Terra into another hive-world at this very moment.

    And humanity?

    What was left of it should be huddling on whatever ships they could grab or packed nut to butt into the Grand Shipyard, hoping and praying that the bug didn¡¯t find that too.

    Yes, the Terran people (and the Empire¡¯s) saved the day, but that victory was a truly pyrrhic one, and next time¡­

    Next time they wouldn¡¯t win. The bug will be back, and at their rate of industrial production and technological development, when they doe back, they will have corrected their ¡°mistake¡±.

    Their next fleet will be able to do the job. Hell, a fleet the quarter the size of the one they sentst time would be more than enough anytime in the next few years.

    Humanity was doomed unless he could deliver the impossible, a century¡¯s worth of development in the next five years.

    Henry¡¯s war never stopped. He was still fighting it every single day.

    Taking another gulp of coffee, he ran the footage again. Those missiles were identified as ASGMF30 anti-ship guided fusion missiles¡­

    He ran the analysis again¡­

    Because they <em>were</em>!

    Something had been <em>done</em> to them¡­

    Something <em>fabulous</em>!¡­

    But what?

    He pulled up all the information he had on that missile. Theoretically, the missile was capable of the performance that he was seeing. It was theoretically possible, but he of all people knew the difference between ¡°theoretically possible¡± and actually achievable.

    While the reactionless thruster used on that missile was capable of that power output and actually did achieve it during its final shield pration burn, there was a reason why it waited until the final approach before it did so. There was no way that the missile could urately, and far more importantly safely, acquire the target, correctly identify it as hostile, sessfully arm the fusion device and guide itself during the terminal burn. That level of eleration required every amp from the battery pack, leaving nothing for guidance. It was only capable of doing that level of eleration in a straight line.

    To hit a moving ship at any range with that power distribution, the missile would have to be able to see into the future, which was <em>impossible</em>¡­

    So how did they pull it off, and even more importantly to Henry, <em>who</em> pulled it off?

    He pulled up every single thing he had on Janustec. It wasn¡¯t any of those hacks. He was sure of it. Esmeralda was sharp, but this was quite beyond her or her cookbook anarchists.

    He yed the raid of their corporate headquarters again and smiled. That poor little snake never failed to get a smile out of him. Wait. What did he know about that snake?

    His fingers flew across his keyboard.

    No, it wasn¡¯t the snake, probably. Still, he should send an agent out to chat with it, see if it knew anything about missiles.

    He typed in an order to make it happen, taking care to specify that it be a <em>pleasant</em> interview with a <em>kind</em> interviewer that was dealing with a <em>friendly</em> contact who we wanted to <em>like</em> us after the session was concluded.

    He definitely did not want to alienate either the snake or, much more importantly, his new employer, one of the ¡°shadow techs¡± from which one ill word would silence entirely too many much-needed voices. It had taken <em>years</em> to get some of those people to open up, and one botched ¡°interview¡± would send that entire sector so deep into the shadows he would never get them or their innovations back.

    All of this was made quite clear in the orders. He hated that he had to take care to do that, but he wasn¡¯t the only person for whom the war had never ended, and some of them had only gotten more twisted and monstrous with every year that passed.

    Staring down the barrel of extinction will do that to a person. It was getting more and more difficult to keep some of them in line.

    That reminded him. He pulled up thetest from Cerberus and frowned. It seems that a ¡°prospect¡± was one of the two individuals that were taken from-

    <em>Holy shit!</em>

    It was them, wasn¡¯t it? Gloria was part of She Donovan¡¯s crew, and her ship was almost certainly the one used for the jailbreak!

    That means they have the prospect!

    His fingers once again turned into blurs.

    <em>Sheloran</em>

    He quickly pulled up everything he had on her and leaned back as his spectacles were flooded with information.

    ¡°Quite the dark horse aren¡¯t you, my little frog?¡± he muttered after a few minutes. The stories from the Federation were hyperboleden fluff, as per usual¡­

    But if even a fraction of it was true¡­ She was far too dangerous to be loose and far too promising to allow to disappear.

    Wait. Didn¡¯t they have some of her tech already? They did! He contacted the small arms division and called for a briefing.

    ***

    ¡°Neutron-star!¡± Lucky crowed as she mmed down her cards triumphantly.

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Visha groaned as she let her cards slip from her fingers. ¡°Why do I y this Fed nonsense?¡±

    ¡°Because you are a generous soul,¡± Lucky snickered as she gathered the loot. ¡°Another hand?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t afford it,¡± Visha replied, ¡°unless you feel like ying a game of chess first?¡±

    ¡°Not after thest...¡± Lucky trailed off as she saw where the chessboard was being set up, a sensor hole. ¡°¡­ maybe one game. How much is this ¡®game¡¯ gonna cost me.¡±

    ¡°Just this,¡± Visha replied, selecting just a few credits worth of basicmissary goodies.

    Lucky¡¯s ears pricked up.

    ¡°Okay...¡± she said dubiously. Visha wanted something, and it wasn¡¯t her stash of honey buns.

    Interesting.

    ¡°I¡¯m in,¡± Lucky smiled.

    The pair walked across themon area to where the board was already being set up by some of Visha¡¯s crew, who then backed away as they sat.

    Lucky¡¯s ears were fully upright. Just her and Visha, huh?

    Something was definitely up. This was further confirmed as Visha¡¯s people shooed away the usual crowd of spectators that would gather for one of their epic confrontations.

    More than a little concerned, Tizz caught her eye, and Lucky just shrugged and nodded.

    ¡°I have to admit,¡± Visha said as she made her first move, ¡°I thought you guys were having a little bit of fun with us with all of your talk about that Sheloran thing.¡±

    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s the real deal, alright,¡± Lucky replied as she carefully pushed a pawn forward.

    ¡°Of that, I have absolutely no doubt,¡± Visha replied. ¡°You know who I am with, correct?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Well, we have people up there,¡± Visha said quietly. ¡°And your girl definitely is the real deal, and then some.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Lucky replied. ¡°Do tell.¡±

    Visha leaned forward. So did Lucky.

    ¡°You know that ce is literally airtight, in orbit, the most secure facility there is, yes?¡±

    ¡°So I¡¯ve heard.¡±

    ¡°Well, it is now just a little less secure.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Lucky hissed.

    ¡°You heard me,¡± Visha whispered. ¡°There was an ¡®incident¡¯ up there, and two people escaped.¡±

    Visha smiled.

    ¡°Care to guess who one of them was?¡±

    ¡°No. Fucking. Way.¡±

    ¡°Yes fucking way,¡± Visha smiled. ¡°They are keeping it out of the news, but Sheloran and some super-secret someone or another got out. Your frog is in the wind.¡±

    Lucky let out a long contented sigh and leaned back happily.

    ¡°Oh, the Republic has to be just about wetting themselves,¡± Lucky said with a toothy ear-to-ear grin (quite the aplishment for a Xvli).

    ¡°You know that bank robbery they say she was involved in?¡± Visha whispered.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°It was done by She Donovan,¡± Visha replied as she moved one of her knights. ¡°Ring a bell?¡±

    ¡°Should it?¡±

    ¡°How about the <em>White Star</em>?¡±

    ¡°It was <em>her</em>?¡± Lucky asked.

    ¡°Word on the street was that She hit that bank because she was getting money for the White Star job,¡± Visha said, ¡°It¡¯s your turn, by the way.¡±

    ¡°Oh, sorry,¡± Lucky said, realizing that she had forgotten.

    ¡°And guess who is suspect number one for the jailbreak?¡± Visha asked as Lucky was mulling over the board, causing her to once again forget.

    ¡°No!¡±

    Visha smiled and nodded.

    ¡°The same people who just ¡®happened¡¯ to pick <em>her</em> bank to rob, the bank that they were conveniently able to use to tap into the Federation bankingwork and steal <em>millions</em>. Our hackers say doing that is nearly impossible and would take <em>days</em> to aplish¡­ unless it was set up ahead of time...¡±

    ¡°Holy shit,¡± Lucky gasped. ¡°They busted out a member of their crew!¡±

    ¡°Or more likely an associate,¡± Visha shrugged. ¡°You need to move something, or this will start to look suspicious, Flopsy.¡±

    ¡°Well, hold off on the next orbital strike until I move, void-lover,¡± Lucky said as she studied the board.

    Visha just sat there, her eyes glittering like a teen who just got asked to prom.

    Lucky took her hand off of her queen and looked up.

    ¡°There¡¯s more, isn¡¯t there?¡±

    Visha just vibrated happily.

    Lucky shook her ears to clear her mind and focused on the board.

    ***

    ¡°Doctor Chapman!¡± a blonde woman in her forties enthused as she entered his office carrying a small case, ¡°We havepleted our initial analysis of the small arms used by Sheloran the th during the Harkeen incident as well as the concealed carry piece that she always had on her.¡±

    Henry actually smiled a genuine smile at her approach. Normally when someone approached him that eagerly it was to brown-nose but hopefully¡­ now what was her name again¡­ Sigrid?¡­ no¡­

    Thank God for his spectacles. He flicked his eye over to an icon suspended in his vision and blinked.

    <em>Sissel!</em> Her name was Sissel.

    ¡°Excellent, Sissel,¡± he said happily.

    Doctor Sissel Haugen beamed at him. He actually remembered her name!

    ¡°So,¡± Henry said, leaning forward, ¡°what do you have for me.¡±

    ¡°Only the most <em>alien</em> fucked-up shit you can imagine,¡± Dr. Haugen said as she opened the case and pulled out one of the yers. ¡°This thing is <em>evil</em>!¡±

    ¡°So what is it, what does it do, and how does it work?¡± Henry asked as Dr. Haugen activated a holographic disy attached to herptop, projecting a schematic of the yer.

    ¡°It looks deceptively simple,¡± Henry said, looking at the hologram.

    ¡°That¡¯s because it <em>is</em>,¡± Sissel replied. ¡°What she did was take a spool of ¡®space wire¡¯ and feed it into a highly modified ster. Instead of generating and firing a stream of charged particles, it instead elerated the wire out of the reinforced barrel at near ster velocity, <em>without breaking the wire</em>¡­ until she wanted to. <em>That¡¯s</em> not the cool part! This is!¡±

    Sissel pointed at a small assembly at the barrel.

    ¡°What is that?¡± Henry asked,pletely mystified.

    ¡°It took us a minute to figure that one out!¡± Sissel replied proudly. ¡°It is a type of oscitor that applies wave functions on the wire as it exits the barrel. It is basically a series of charged tes and guides that both vibrate and apply charges upon the wire as it exits. It¡¯s essentially abination of an ancient-tech speaker and, get this¡­ a cathode-ray tube monitor. Thebination of the two functions can apply virtually anybination of waves and directional impulses to the exiting wire. That is what made it so horribly effective.¡±

    The holographic image showed the wire leaving the weapon in loops, angles, swirls, circles¡­ squares¡­

    ¡°It¡¯s basically a cookie-cutter gun!¡± Sissel eximed. ¡°She was shooting ¡®des¡¯ of any size or shape that she chose and was able to vary it on the fly to suit the targets. We reviewed the footage, and over a hundred different waveforms were applied to those poor bastards, and we think that was just the barest fraction of what was possible.¡±

    Slow-motion footage of the incident started to y with the shapes that hit the various targets highlighted.

    Henry looked at the weapon¡¯s schematic carefully. Something was missing.

    ¡°Where is theputer or signal generator for the waveforms?¡±

    Dr. Haugen grinned.

    ¡°That¡¯s the really <em>freaky</em> part!¡± she eximed. ¡°There <em>aren¡¯t any</em>! There is nothing <em>in the weapon</em> that created the waveforms. In fact, there isn¡¯t even a ¡®trigger¡¯ as we would define one...¡±

    She triumphantly pointed at a tiny little dot that started to glow on the schematic.

    ¡°There is just this!¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°A microphone!¡± Sissel eximed happily. She yed the tape of the incident again, with the volume turned up.

    ¡°The singing?¡± Henry asked in wide-eyed amazement.

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s how we looked when we figured it out!¡± Sissel grinned. ¡°She controlled both yers with the song she was singing. Analysis of the ¡®music¡¯ revealed that it had the waveforms encoded as well as additionalmands that involved the feed rate of the wire.¡±

    The incident yed again in slow motion, with disys showing the various sung notes.

    ¡°We have been able to deduce the tones that cause the wire to feed and stop, causing the wire to break andpleting a single ¡®projectile¡¯ and the vocal channel that encoded the waveforms in the wire. Both weapons werepletely controlled by her voice! She didn¡¯t need signal generators! She is one!¡±

    Henry just sat there in amazement at the simple, brutal¡­ <em>elegance</em> of what he was watching. It was a simple concept, but the <em>precision</em> with which every single part had to be tuned and how they were tuned to work together to operate was¡­

    Beautiful¡­

    And Sheloran built two of them in just a few hours. It would take a team of engineers <em>weeks</em> (at least) to get something like this to work without blowing apart or ripping the hands off of the user.

    ¡°It gets better!¡± Dr. Haugen enthused, ¡°or worse, depending on which end of this unholy beast you are facing.¡±

    She pointed at the ¡°decoration¡± on the side of the yers.

    ¡°That is the guts from a Takka Migraine Mk III.¡±

    ¡°A stunner?¡±

    ¡°It <em>was</em> a stunner,¡± Sissel beamed, ¡°It is <em>now</em> a war crime! The signal from the stunner is fed <em>directly</em> into the ster <em>with no loss of signal quality</em> and is amplified by approximately fifty-thousand times, turning what was a low-energy neural disruption signal into a high-power neural <em>destruction</em> signal. Any contact with any portion of that wire when that function is active will instantly kill any neural tissue triggering instant cell death along the axons (or whatever signal carrier a species uses). If your body uses any electric or electro-chemical mechanism to transmit information through the body, you are <em>fucked</em>. She ripped them into pieces for good measure, but they were probably dying the second the first few millimeters of wire hit them.¡±

    ¡°Jesus Christ...¡± Henry muttered. That single function was beyond valuable!

    ¡°It spreads out from the initial point of impact,¡± Sissel said as she showed scans of the corpses. ¡°Their central nervous system was destroyed all the way to their median ganglia line. It¡¯s the Threen version of having their spinal column cooked.¡±

    Henry just looked at the scans in disbelief. They had tried boosting a neural disruption signal, but the more you try to boost it, the ¡°noisier¡± it bes. Beyond a certain point, you don¡¯t get a death ray. You just get an inefficient electron ¡°ster bolt¡±. The power levels necessary to cause this sort of damage should just burn everything before the signal can be transmitted, even with a melee weapon (which these strange pistols resemble as much as they resemble anything)¡­

    Until today¡­

    Sissel was looking at him, eyes aglow.

    ¡°And are you familiar with the <em>particr</em> signal that <em>particr</em> stunner uses to incapacitate its target, Dr. Chapman?¡±

    His eyes flickered across the virtual reality ¡°screens¡± that hovered ever-present in his sight.

    He soon had the answer.

    Pain. The final scream of their nerves wasn¡¯t just threshold-level pain. It was the sort of agony that kills the very nerves that transmit their final scream.

    Sissel let out a giggly nervousugh when she saw his expression change.

    ¡°The neurochemical scans of the brains of the Threen showed¡­ well¡­ Theirst moments were NOT nice. We¡¯ve never seen those levels of stress and pain in a Threen brain, ever. That includes that one rather nasty starport ident a few years back. These yers are <em>worse</em> than being burned alive, much, much, much worse. I¡­ I can¡¯t even <em>imagine</em> what it must have felt like. This¡­ thing was <em>designed</em> to <em>punish</em> them, <em>torture</em> them¡­ <em>utterly destroy</em> them...¡±

    Sissel¡¯s smile faded.

    ¡°I¡¯m an atheist, but¡­ Satan himself, or herself, built these.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Henry smiled. ¡°I think it is more traditionally angelic, but then again, thatbel fits as well, doesn¡¯t it? What about thatst one? The one she put through a deli slicer?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have the best footage, but it looks like the initial strokes were without the ¡®joy-buzzer¡¯,¡± Sissel replied. ¡°He was clearly still lucid for many of the initial cuts. She wanted him to know what was happening¡­ God, I¡¯m d she¡¯s locked up!¡±

    Henry smiled a thin smile in response.

    ¡°But,¡± Sissel continued, ¡°right¡­ here!¡± she eximed as she paused the footage of the Threen boss getting disassembled, ¡°see his eyes roll back? That¡¯s when she burned him. She didn¡¯t let him get off light.¡±

    ¡°Amazing that she kept him conscious that long,¡± Henry mused as he viewed the carnage dispassionately, ¡°Actually, it looks like she waited for him to lose consciousness before using the neural burn to bring him back for the grand finale. Jesus, remind me not to piss her off.¡±

    He looked down at his notes.

    ¡°And what about her little purple glitter-adorned snub-nosed burner?¡± he asked.

    Sissel shuddered as she <em>carefully</em> pulled it out of the case, still in a stic bag.

    ¡°I don¡¯t like this thing one bit. It scares me.¡±

    ¡°Is it <em>worse</em> than the yers?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s different¡­ weird¡­¡± she said, trying to find the right words. ¡°¡­ <em>Alien</em>...We are still trying to figure it out, actually. We only fired it once, and we dare not do it again.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an unholy mix of a ¡®dime store¡¯ stunner and¡­ get this¡­ parts from a microwave oven and what we think might be a pocket sewing machine. She <em>ims</em> she learned it from a video game, but that is <em>bullshit</em>. This did NOTe from any video game anywhere, not in this century anyhow. Theponents are all jammed together in what appears to be no logical order, and the power has been boosted beyond the design limits of any singleponent. It should explode, but it doesn¡¯t. What it does is send a beam of what can only be described as <em>coherent electrons</em> downrange.¡±

    ¡°Coherent electrons?¡±

    ¡°It projects a beam of electrons all moving in a perfectly straight line, with no resistance, just like they were traveling down a superconductor, <em>but there is no conductor.</em> The electrons, while insanely high voltage, make no attempt to travel to ground <em>until it hits the target</em>, at which time they punch through instors like a kic projectile trying to continue along their pre-existing path, still not trying to go to ground until ¡®something gives¡¯ and they then remember that they are in fact, electrons, and start behaving normally. Until ¡®whatever¡¯ happens, they act more like a high-velocityminar-flow fluid than anything else. We don¡¯t understand. And, of course, they carry a murderously amplified universal neural disruption signal because that¡¯s just how she rolls. Not much has to get through to be absolutely lethal to most life forms¡­ we think... The weapon was only fired twice that we know of, and it instantly killed both targets. We don¡¯t have ess to the victims, but we are fairly certain they didn¡¯t die from anything ¡®traditional¡¯. Video footage shows them just falling without even a twitch. They just went down, went down hard, and never moved again.¡±

    ¡°We need more data,¡± Henry replied. ¡°Why haven¡¯t you fired it again?¡±

    ¡°Each time it fires, it breaks down further,¡± Sissel replied. ¡°It was clearly intended for a limited number of shots, its longevity sacrificed for pure lethal power. Until we know more, each shot could be itsst, and thatst shot could destroy the device. It¡¯s probably why she built the yers to take on multiple opponents.¡±

    ¡°We should at least-¡±

    ¡°Nope!¡± Sissel replied firmly. ¡°I¡¯m not even shooting ab rat with that nightmare, not until we know what it actually does to the target. Now, send me a porkie or the right Terran, and I¡¯ll pop a cap in their ass, but I¡¯m NOT doing it to some innocent animal, not after what those fucking yers did to the Threen.¡±

    ¡°I will see what I can do,¡± Henry replied calmly. ¡°I¡¯m sure we can find an appropriate ¡®volunteer¡¯ somewhere.¡±

    ¡°Just make sure they are extra appropriate,¡± Sissel replied. ¡°I have no idea what this thing will do to somebody, but I¡¯m pretty sure it will be truly messed-up¡­ And from what I¡¯ve read, the th are supposed to be these sweet little garden gnomes,¡± Sissel said, shaking her head, ¡°as well as what can only be described as ¡®technologically backward¡¯, if you can believe it.¡±

    ¡°So we¡¯ve been led to believe,¡± Henry replied. ¡°Then again, this one is supposedly an aberration, actually an ¡®abomination¡¯ if theirary media is to be believed. They actually have a ¡®religious urban legend¡¯ not officially part of their religion that states that a deal was struck between a figure known as The Great Prophet and The Befouler, their devil. The bargain was that one individual in each generation would belong to the Befouler and would contain all of the evil and corruption of their entire race. Most th schrs and theologians believe this to be a means for people to exin the asional violent or ¡®evil¡¯ act that would sometimes happen in an otherwise unbelievably peaceful race.¡±

    Henry disyed a picture of Sheloran in one of her frilly homemade ¡°Little House on the Prairie¡± dresses with a huge ribbon on her head, smiling a big nervous smile.

    ¡°She doesn¡¯t look the part, but you know what, Sissel,¡± Henry said with a smile, ¡°I think that maybe, just maybe, there might just be something to that legend after all.¡±

 Chapter 135: The Republic Done Goofed Part Two

    Chapter 135: The Republic Done Goofed Part Two

    Lucky finally, after some deliberation, moved her queen.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Visha whispered excitedly. ¡°Have you ever heard of someone called Gloria Samuels?...¡±

    A few minutester, Lucky let out a long low whistle.

    ¡°Cousinhumper¡­.¡± she muttered. ¡°Are you fucking serious?¡±

    Visha nodded.

    ¡°And that¡¯s why I¡¯m telling you this. Any new arrivals could be agents from any number of organizations trying to find out anything they can. Word hase down that Sheloran has attracted all sorts of interest¡­ interest from people you do not want interested in you, people who would think absolutely nothing about giving any of us an Epstein.¡±

    ¡°So <em>that¡¯s</em> why the narc is here,¡± Lucky snickered as she moved her queen pointlessly around the board, wasting time.

    ¡°Narc?¡± Visha asked in rm.

    ¡°The peacock looking bitch that came in yesterday,¡± Lucky snorted. ¡°We¡¯ve all been ying nice with her, more out of pity than anything else. A Novux in max? Seriously? That¡¯s like getting a th in here.¡±

    They both chuckled.

    ¡°It¡¯s so cute when she is trying to ¡®talk street¡¯,¡± Lucky chuckled. ¡°I¡¯ll make a point to bring up Sheloran, see if she bites. If she does, I¡¯ll just dump everything we know about her, which is squat, and maybe she will just leave.¡±

    ¡°We had a new arrival too. Check.¡± Visha said as she slid her bishop across the board. ¡°She makes all the right noises and does all the right things. I have absolutely no reason to suspect her, so of course, I do. She is just¡­ too healthy? She really takes care of herself, perhaps a little too well. That¡¯s her, over by the water dispenser.¡±

    ¡°Ooo, pretty,¡± Lucky purred. ¡°I see what you mean. She is making me all sorts of confused over here. Yeah, watch that one.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know why they bother. Check.¡± Visha replied. ¡°All they have to do is take half of the people here into a room, set some restaurant takeaway in front of them, and turn on the recorders.¡±

    ¡°And until they leave, we gotta run a tight ship,¡± Lucky grumbled. ¡°If I ever get out of here, I¡¯m going to present Sheloran a bill for lost business.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of you getting out of here,¡± Visha said, ¡°since I have you alone...¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t heard what I have to say yet.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m nobody¡¯s bitch,¡± Lucky said, ¡°Check. I¡¯m independent.¡±

    ¡°And where, exactly, has that gotten you?¡± Visha pursed her lips thoughtfully as she stared at the board. The bunny was getting better. ¡°How long have you been in here?¡±

    ¡°If they are so great, why are you still in here?¡±

    ¡°Well, there¡¯s being above thew,¡± Visha replied with a wince, ¡°and then there¡¯s shooting someone in the chest with explosive bullets above thew. Nobody in the Republic is that above thew, which is a good thing, I suppose.¡±

    ¡°Well, that exins it,¡± Lucky shrugged.

    ¡°I¡¯m here in jail because I¡¯m still ying the legal game,¡± Visha said as she moved her rook. ¡°Doing the ssic dy and bargain thing. That¡¯s the story anyway. The truth of the matter is that my people want someone here to look after people should they find themselvesnding in here. You know, a kind word, a pack of chips, and a firm, gentle reminder that they might want to keep their fucking mouth shut. That and all sorts of interesting information filters through a ce like this. So it works to our advantage to have a long-term presence in this lovely resort.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s nice and all, but it¡¯s that ¡®shooting people in the chest with explosive bullets¡¯ thing that has me reluctant to sign up. I don¡¯t want to get out only to wind up back in here for life.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that wasn¡¯t because of who I¡¯m with,¡± Visha replied as she shifted a pawn forward. ¡°Well, it was, sort of, but it wasn¡¯t an order. It was a fuck-up, <em>my</em> fuck-up, not theirs. I was a (heh) ¡®major yer¡¯ in the organization. By that, I mean a little fish in a tiny puddle, but I thought I was hot shit. Well, I got involved with this guy, a very pretty and much younger guy. I thought it was love (or at least a pleasant little arrangement) until the asshole stole my banking info and took me for around a hundred grand. Unfortunately, it wasn¡¯t <em>my</em> hundred grand. He didn¡¯t know that, though. Check.¡±

    ¡°Dammit,¡± Lucky muttered as she looked pensively at the board. ¡°So you killed him?¡± she asked as she ced a paw on her rook.

    ¡°I wish,¡± Visha muttered. ¡°What I <em>should</em> have done was take a deep breath, put on my big-girl panties, called a certain someone, and told them face-to-face that I had been ripped off. It would have been bad but survivable. It wasn¡¯t the first time someone wound up in my position, and it won¡¯t be thest. I would have wound up on the hook for it, but I could have worked it off or gotten it back with the organization¡¯s help and a little loss of face, the end result of which would have just been a steady ration of shit for a little while. God, why didn¡¯t I do that?¡± Visha groaned, burying her face in her hands. ¡°That¡¯s what we¡¯re <em>supposed</em> to do. We would have beat that little turd until candy came out¡­ Idiot!¡±

    ¡°So, what did you do?¡±

    ¡°I grabbed my pistol, drove over to his ce, and broke in,¡± Visha muttered. ¡°I knew he was out because I had a hacker trace his car that I gave him, by the way,¡± she added, still a bit peeved about that even after several years. ¡°I had it <em>all</em> nned out,¡± she smirked. ¡°I was going to jab a switchde into his fancy desktop (which I bought him) and then link it to a hacker I hired. His type usually hides their credits in a file somewhere, usually in the cloud, but he would have essed it from his desktop so my hacker could find his cache and clean out every single credit he had. While that was running, I was going to sit and wait for him toe home and then make him <em>kneel</em> in front of me while I took everything from him! It was going to be so good.¡±

    Visha¡¯s face fell.

    ¡°What I didn¡¯t know was that his fourteen year old sister was staying with him.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ shit.¡±

    ¡°Turns out she had run away from home again and was crashing at her ¡®cool¡¯ big brother¡¯s ce. It turns out that a shitty persones from a shitty family, and his little sis was hiding out from them. I used a key-cracker, so it sounded like the door unlocked normally. She probably thought it was her brothering back early, so she sprinted out holding a fucking holo-pistol, you know, those replicas they use for shooting games? Why the hell do they make them look so fucking realistic? It looked <em>exactly</em> like a 12mm¡­ exactly¡­ ex¡­ (sigh).¡±

    Lucky just looked at Visha with a mixture of horror, sympathy, and pity.

    ¡°She probably didn¡¯t even realize it was sort of pointed at me,¡± Visha said quietly. ¡°And why was she so <em>quiet</em>? She just popped out from the hall with that fucking chunk of stic in her hand, happy to see her ¡®bro¡¯ and...¡±

    Visha closed her eyes and shook her head.

    ¡°My reflexes, honed from <em>hours</em> of weekend corporate security seminars, kicked in, and I put two high explosive rounds in her chest before she even knew what hit her. I didn¡¯t see the stupid orange ring until it was lying on the floor. <em>How could I have not seen that?</em>¡­ <em>How?</em>¡±

    ¡°Creators...¡± Lucky gasped.

    ¡°At least...¡± Visha said, her eyes still closed, ¡°At least I wasn¡¯t a punk. I didn¡¯t run off and leave her to die. I called it in. I called...¡±

    Visha shuddered. Lucky instinctively reached out and put a paw on her shoulder.

    ¡°It didn¡¯t matter,¡± Visha said, her eyes misting over. ¡°I bought the good bullets. That poor kid was dead long before the med team got there.¡±

    Visha shook herself and blinked hard a few times.

    ¡°So I didn¡¯t kill the son of a bitch,¡± she said with a lifeless voice, ¡°I murdered his kid sister in his living room. At least I wasn¡¯t a ¡®punk¡¯. If I had been, my people would have disavowed me, if not worse. I didn¡¯t ¡®sleaze¡¯ out and abandon that kid, and when some wannabe hotshot tried to get me to turn evidence, I gave him a long rambling confession that he didn¡¯t realize was the plot for season 2 of <em>Gctic Gangster Kwaii Kats</em>.¡±

    Vishaughed.

    ¡°Oh, he was <em>pissed</em>. He got all excited and ran it up to his superiors, and they excitedly passed it on. Before long, an Interpol AI identified it and inquired whether they had apprehended Pirate Kitten or Ninja Kitten. It didn¡¯t help my case much, but it did get me back in good with my people who thought it had style, which is very important to them. Thank God that Interpol AI was on the ball because word got out that I had rolled over on them and were ¡®considering options¡¯. I was about to get Epsteined. To be honest, I wouldn¡¯t have minded at that point. I had just killed a fucking kid¡­ Oh, God...¡±

    Visha buried her face in her hands.

    ¡°I fucking killed a kid, Lucky¡­ I...¡±

    Lucky walked around the table and wrapped her arm around Visha, who leaned over and buried her face in Lucky¡¯s chest¡­

    For about two seconds.

    ¡°Get off of me, you fuzzy dyke,¡± Visha growled as she gently pushed away from Lucky, ¡°Quit stalling and get back over there. It¡¯s your move.¡±

    ¡°Sorry, my naked mole-rat fetish was kicking in again,¡± Lucky smirked as she returned to her side of the board. ¡°You are just so pink and wrinkly. I just couldn¡¯t help myself.¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± Visha smirked. ¡°And¡­ thanks¡­ (phew)¡­ There¡¯s a reason we don¡¯t talk about how we wound up in here, huh?¡±

    ¡°Well, it makes me feel a little better about ¡®reflexively¡¯ extending my ws,¡± Lucky muttered as she clicked her tongue unhappily. Visha was going to win again. Goodbye, knight.

    ¡°That, we can work with,¡± Visha said quietly. ¡°Me, I¡¯m fucked and deserve to be, but you? Five years served for manughter with all of the extenuating circumstances? Just say the word, and I will tell our guys to get to work.¡±

    ¡°Ok, so no bullshit,¡± Lucky said as she gamely moved her knight forward to be sacrificed, ¡°let¡¯s say that I do go to work for The Saints. About how much could I reasonably expect to earn?¡±

    About thirty secondster, Lucky¡¯s ears shot up so hard and fast they actually made an audible ¡°fwump¡±.

    ***

    Serugnktti sat in a cell with a small grey furry xeno who was perched on the back of a huge human woman, grooming her hair as the mountain of a female smiled blissfully.

    ¡°And you use¡­ urine?¡± Serugnktti said dubiously

    ¡°Yeah!¡± the grey furry thing squeaked happily. ¡°We use pee! My urine is especially fragrant for many of us but odorless for humans. A small splotch on your shirt is how we let each other know that someone is ¡®cool¡¯.¡±

    Serugnktti looked over at Donna.

    ¡°Is this correct?¡±

    Donna smiled and nodded.

    ¡°Yep! I thought it was weird when I started hanging out with these guys. But, it turns out they were using it to leave invisible messages, using it to mark hiding spots, blind drops, and even marking each other to let them know that they were ¡®in¡¯. I mean, who would have thunk it, right?¡±

    ¡°Just a little on your shirt!¡± the grey xeno squeaked and nodded earnestly. ¡°We call it our pee-g! Everybody does-¡±

    The little grey xeno fell silent as Lucky and Kalex, a Juon female, entered the cell.

    ¡°Gizz,¡± Lucky chuckled, ¡°Don¡¯t pee on the narc.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t listen to her, narc,¡± Kalex said, her hide rippling with amusement. ¡°She just wants to pee on you.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡± Serugnktti clucked, her blue feathers shimmering, ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not a <em>narc</em>¡­ pssh...¡±

    ¡°Mmm Hmm...¡± Lucky said with a smile. ¡°Gizz. Take your dder for a walk. No, Donna, you sit your ass back down.¡±

    ¡°Umm¡­ bye, narc!¡± Gizz squeaked and got the hell out of there.

    ¡°Guys,¡± Donna said nervously, ¡°Do you really think I should be here for this?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Kalex said soothingly. ¡°It will save us a tripter.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just that I¡¯m trying to be good and stay out of troub-¡±

    ¡°Donna, there isn¡¯t going to be any trouble,¡± Lucky purred. ¡°We are just going to have a little chat with the narc about why she is really here, and she will want to talk to you afterwards.¡±

    ¡°Guys!¡± Serugnktti squawked, ¡°I am NOT a fucking narc! I¡¯m just a Novux who has made a mistake or two.¡±

    ¡°First of all,¡± Lucky smiled as she entered the cell and flopped down next to Serugnktti, ¡°if a Novux made ¡¯a mistake or two¡¯ that didn¡¯t involve an anti-tank weapon, they would be bundled off to the Federation Embassy and given a nket, warm beverage, and a beak massage.¡±

    ¡°And second,¡± Kalex said, her skin rippling withughter, ¡°nobody here says they made ¡¯a mistake or two¡¯. Most of us are pre-trial, dumbass.¡±

    ¡°Well, forgive me for not being a hardened criminal!¡± Serugnktti huffed. ¡°And you are right, my friends should be getting the Embassy involved any minute now¡­ or at least they better...¡± She added quietly.

    ¡°Oh, that was good!¡± Lucky smiled. ¡°Did you take drama in college?¡±

    Serugnktti shed her blue feathers. ¡°Do I look like I went to college? The trade school didn¡¯t have a fucking drama club, asshole.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Iiktiithii,¡± Lucky called out in a sing-song voice.

    A strange fuzzy insectoid (?) with long bushy antennae (and long, sharp mandibles) walked in.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Sniff our friend here.¡±

    Iiktiithii waved her antennae in Serugnktti¡¯s general direction.

    ¡°Hmm¡­ organo-metallicpounds, designer proteins, traces of industrial ethanol (refined, not distilled) and Republic bio-safe clear coat number 157¡­ high-dor hair dye, or feather dye in this case. The beak is fake, too. It¡¯s been covered in a very nice cultured keratin which would pass for natural if it wasn¡¯t still curing. Well, it would, except for the fact that the actual beak isprised of another proteinplex entirely. Pretty insulting, actually. They totally messed up the color match on both the feathers and the beak in what you poor three-quarters blind people call the ultra-violet range, too. Good thing this isn¡¯t a prison movie, birdie, or you would be fuuuucked.¡±

    Iiktiithii reached out a strangely branched ¡°hand,¡± and Lucky pulled out four honey buns from her shirt. Iiktiithii trilled happily and shambled away.

    ¡°Uhh¡­ so I like to enhance my plumage, so what? And I¡¯m sure that I¡¯m not the only life form that sculpts parts of their body!¡±

    ¡°You are covering up red ent feathers that denote your pedigree and concealing your slender, beautiful, over-bred pecker,¡± Lucky smiled. ¡°You are a red-frill.¡±

    Serugnktti scoffed and stretched idly, moving one of her feathered limbs towards her neck.

    It suddenly stopped moving.

    She looked over and froze in terror. Wrapped around her wrist was the slender end of a Juon tentacle!

    Her other wrist was simrly bound.

    Pound for pound, a Juon was one of the strongest sapient creatures in the gxy. They were pretty much entirelyprised of pure muscle. The Juon that those tentacles were attached to would have absolutely no problem <em>literally ripping her arms off</em>.

    Only Humans, Drax, Xvli, and a few other species had a hope in hell of sessfully taking on a Juon hand to hand. A Novux was NOT one of them.

    ¡°Please, no pushy the panic button,¡± Lucky smiled. ¡°Nothing bad is going to happen to your red-feathered butt. The <emst</em> thing any of us wants is a hurt agent in our happy little home. You are as safe as you can possibly be. In fact, you are going to have a new best buddy. Donna, say hello to your new best friend.¡±

    Donna beamed at Serugnktti. ¡°Hello, bestie!¡± Donna eximed.

    ¡°Donna here is going to be your ¡®mom¡¯ while you are our guest. She can handle just about anything thates your way¡­ well¡­ now that <em>Sheloran</em> is no longer with us.¡±

    Donna winced and clutched at her boob.

    Serugnktti <em>slightly</em> cocked her head involuntarily at the mention of that name, causing Lucky to burst outughing and a riot of colors to wash over Kalex.

    ¡°You are right!¡± Kalex chuckled as she released her wrists. ¡°She is here about Sheloran.¡±

    Serugnktti just signed and drooped her head into her breast. Oh, this was bad. So much for drama club. This was NOTHING like improv!

    ¡°It¡¯s ok, bestie!¡± Donna said as she wrapped a leg-sized arm around the Novux. ¡°Want to hear about the time she whooped my ass?¡±

    ¡°¡­yes, please...¡±

    ***

    Dr. Henry Chapman poured his twentieth cup of coffee that day as he reviewed his notes concerning Sheloran.

    Things just didn¡¯t add up.

    By all ounts, the th were damn near primitives, choosing to live as close to a pre-industrial life as possible while still being connected to the gxy as a whole.

    A lot of them still rode ¡°horses¡±, for fuck¡¯s sake.

    They had no native technology to speak of other than a truly astounding natural pharmacopeia, all of which was discovered sometime in the distant past, and even that ¡°research¡±, if you could call it that, ceased hundreds or perhaps even thousands of years pre-contact.

    But, somehow, Sheloran was producing devices beyond anything they could make, and that was using off-the-shelfponents.

    What was her secret? Was it something that she obtained somehow?

    And if so, from <em>where</em>?

    He pulled up everything they had on the th species. It wasn¡¯t much, just one bit of sociological ¡°research¡± from one grad student who visited their homeworld years ago that read more like a travelogue than anything close to scientific.

    He had already been contacted and was equally at a loss. Sheloran, quite simply, should not exist. There was no human equivalent.

    Was she a mutant? The next evolutionary step for their species? It would exin a lot.

    There were just too many unknowns to form any real conclusions.

    All he knew was that they had two examples of weapons tech that contained definite advances and an incident involving missiles doing the ¡°impossible¡±.

    His eyes flickered across his sses, and a nk screen appeared in his vision.

    A few momentster, a silver-haired woman in a green zer appeared.

    ¡°Hello, Henry,¡± the woman said with a smile.

    ¡°I require Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t know you swung that way.¡±

    Henry scowled.

    ¡°She possesses vital technology that we cannot allow to leave the Republic. Get her alive.¡±

    ¡°Cerberus is quite unhappy that one of their prospects is loose,¡± the woman replied. ¡°They are already taking steps to regain their property.¡±

    ¡°I disapprove of yourpdog¡¯s methods,¡± Henry replied. ¡°We need her cooperative and not filled with a burning desire to murder us all. That part¡¯s important, trust me. Perhaps another agency could be brought to bear?¡±

    ¡°She is running with Jon Wintersmith, She Donovan, and Gloria Samuels,¡± the silver-haired woman replied calmly. ¡°Which agency would you suggest? If you want her before she disappears for good, Cerberus is the only group with the kind of ¡®reach¡¯ that can get into that serpent¡¯s nest and fish her out.¡±

    ¡°Whatever, just make it happen,¡± Henry replied. ¡°We also have absolutely no real data concerning her species. I need a technological espionage mission to obtain whatever information the Federation possesses concerning them.¡±

    ¡°Not a problem,¡± the woman in the green zer replied. ¡°Should we obtain a sample of their species as well?¡±

    ¡°That would be quite useful.¡± Dr. Chapman replied. ¡°A few dozen live samples should be sufficient.¡±

 Chapter 136: Sheloran Gets a Shock, Baxlon has a Conniption, and the Harkeen Return

    Chapter 136: Sheloran Gets a Shock, Baxlon has a Conniption, and the Harkeen Return

    Sheloran sat at a small table engrossed in <em>On the Shoulders of Giants, From Oppenheimer to Kvx¡¯Laa</em> as The Chief paced the small room, clutching an assault stunner.

    ¡°Just keep behind me,¡± The Chief said. ¡°I¡¯ll keep you safe.¡±

    ¡°Mmm-hmm...¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t your fault! It¡¯s mine!¡± The Chief eximed. ¡°I¡¯m the one that installed those packages!¡±

    ¡°Sure...¡±

    ¡°When she shows up, just let me do the talking.¡±

    Sheloran just sighed in annoyance, never looking up from her e-book.

    <em>Wow, they sure are taking the long way around,</em> a small voice whispered deep inside her.

    <em>Unlike us, they had no guidance,</em> another thought interjected. <em>They have to fumble around in the dark.</em>

    ¡°Hey!¡± The Chief eximed as he stood right in front of her. ¡°Pay attention! This is serious! When Gloria gets mad, she can-¡±

    ¡°She isn¡¯t mad,¡± Sheloran replied in a dreamy voice as she continued to rapidly page through the e-book on her tablet.

    ¡°Oh, she is! She has to be!¡±

    ¡°She isn¡¯t mad, Chief,¡± Sheloran sighed, slightly annoyed, as she zoomed in on a diagram of the Castle Bravo device. ¡°It says so right at the top of the page...¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran asked blearily, her eyes easing into focus.

    She sighed an exasperated sigh.

    ¡°What are we talking about?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Gloria!¡± The Chief eximed. ¡°They are pulling her ship, or what¡¯s left of it, into the Tiger now! Oh, she¡¯s going to want blood for this!¡±

    Sheloran let out a faint bubbly hiss from her gills. He was disturbing her reading over this?

    ¡°Chief,¡± she grumbled as she turned her attention back to her book, ¡°you need to take a deep breath and rx. She isn¡¯t going to do anything to anyone.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know that!¡±

    ¡°You are part of her crew. She isn¡¯t going to do what she does to one of you.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± The Chief snorted, throwing droplets of saliva straight up. ¡°Ask Red about that.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°A guy who used to run with us¡­ <em>used to</em>.¡±

    ¡°That was different, and you know it,¡± Sheloran muttered in a distant voice as she started rapidly flipping through pages again. ¡°Huh, so that¡¯s why you use uranium projectiles so much¡­ I had always wondered about that. Why don¡¯t you just turn it all into-¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± The Chief shouted. ¡°Focus!¡±

    Sheloran red up at him with unfocused eyes. Thebination of the annoyed re and the eyes that were clearly not looking at him caused The Chief to shudder.

    ¡°Gloria is not angry,¡± Sheloran said in that strange trance-like voice, ¡°not yet. Almost getting blown apart during abat sortee might be a huge thing for you, but for her, it¡¯s...¡±

    She looked at the tablet.

    ¡°Friday, so put the stunner away. If you don¡¯t, she will wind up shooting you in the genitalia with it after you actually do manage to make her angry.¡±

    Sheloran proceeded to look back down at her book and did notment further.

    After a few moments, The Chief stopped trying to talk to her anymore and crouched behind a table with his stunner leveled at the hatch.

    ***

    ¡°Gloria,¡± She sighed in a pained voice as she pinched the bridge of her nose, ¡°did you <em>have</em> to do that?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Gloria replied as she set the stunner down on a nearby table, ¡°Yes, I did.¡±

    Eno red at Gloria as he held his med-scanner over the unconscious chief¡¯sher regions.

    ¡°That is an <em>assault stunner</em>, Gloria!¡± Eno said in an exasperated tone. ¡°You are lucky he was wearing arc-sh rated clothing!¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it more like <em>he¡¯s</em> lucky he was wearing it?¡± Gloria snickered.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t funny!¡± Eno snapped.

    ¡°It is, just a little bit,¡± Gloriaughed yfully. ¡°Did you see his eyes? HA!¡±

    ¡°I told him to put that stunner away,¡± Sheloran muttered from behind her tablet, ¡°but what do I know?¡±

    ¡°She did!¡± Bunny proimed. ¡°She fucking called it right down to his tap-root!¡­ And I have to agree with Gloria on this one. It is a little bit funny. I¡¯ve never seen eyestalks do that before!¡±

    ¡°This is fucking assault, She!¡± Eno growled as he pulled out a neural stabilizer, ¡°Completely unprovoked!¡±

    ¡°Eno, just¡­ just...¡± She said as she closed her eyes (it was kinda provoked¡­ sorta...). ¡°Is The Chief going to be ok?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Eno said, looking down at his scanner. ¡°The arc-sh gear prevented any burns, so all we have is a significant amount of disruption in a rather sensitive area-¡±

    Gloria snorted.

    ¡°Gloria¡­¡± She said with the ¡°Gloria, you are <em>really</em> on thin ice.¡± tone of voice (which was an achievement because it <em>wasn¡¯t</em> a little funny. It was freaking hrious. Did you <em>see</em> his eyestalks?)

    ¡°He will be fine,¡± Eno said as he red at the gorgeous blonde psychopath, ¡°some neural stabilizers, general pain killers, and some bed rest, and he will recover fully.¡±

    ¡°I still have some diapers in my quarters if you need them,¡± Gloria smirked.

    ¡°<em>Bitch</em>...¡± Eno said quietly as he picked up The Chief and carried his unconscious form from the room.

    ¡°Finally,¡± Sheloran muttered as she stared at a diagram of an tactical suborbital anti-ship missile used by the Chinese during WWIII, which was the munition that Independence War-era Republic missiles were based upon.

    Gloria grinned and snatched the tablet from her hands.

    ¡°Buh¡­ wha?¡± Sheloran stammered as she reeled from the dissonant shock of being mmed back into reality.

    She looked at Gloria with horrified eyes.

    ¡°You...¡± she stammered in an alert, perfectly normal (and horrified) tone, ¡°You <em>shot</em> him!¡±

    ¡°Only a little,¡± Gloriaughed happily. ¡°Now, let¡¯s talk about¡­ missiles!¡±

    ***

    Uhrrbet unsteadily stepped out of a cab and limped into the parking lot of The Drop of Oil.

    ¡°Uhrrbet!¡± Littlefoot cried as she rushed up. ¡°Hey! Tell Craxi that Uhrrbet¡¯s here!¡± she yelled into the air as she reached the garthra.

    ¡°Hi¡­ Littlefoot?¡± Uhrrbet said, not exactly sure of her name.

    ¡°How are you doing?¡± Littlefoot asked, her big eyes full of concern.

    ¡°How do you think?¡± Uhrrbet winced. ¡°But, I¡¯ve been released from the hospital. It¡¯s¡­ amazing¡­ what they can do even for us xenos. They say that there will be no permanent damage, but I gotta go back for some more surgery once I heal up a little.¡±

    ¡°Those <em>assholes</em>,¡± Littlefoot snarled as she put her hand on the .22 revolver hidden in a pocket in her dress. ¡°At least they got what wasing to them.¡±

    Uhrrbet just sighed. All Sheloran did was murder the ones that were here. There were plenty more of them, and it was only a matter of time before they came back, worse than ever.

    ¡°Can I get you something?¡± Littlefoot asked, ¡°Coffee, maybe some tea? How are you and your kid doing for food? Do you need some money? Business has been great since thatmercial went viral.¡±

    ¡°No, I still have some of what Sheloran lent me, and I don¡¯t want to get any deeper in the hole,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be silly,¡± Littlefoot replied. ¡°We gotta look after each other, you know, especially since Shel-¡±

    ¡°Uhrrbet!!!¡± Craxina yelled as she came tearing across the lot, clinging to her brother¡¯s back.

    ¡°Aaaa!¡± Uhrrbet shrieked and staggered backwards. She would have fallen if Littlefoot hadn¡¯t caught her.

    ¡°Ohmygod!¡± Craxina cried as she vaulted off her brother¡¯s shoulders andnded in front of the stunned garthra. ¡°Are you ok?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ I¡¯m fine...¡± Uhrrbet said, not taking her eyes off of the <em>thing</em> Craxina was riding.

    ¡°Littlefoot, get Uhrrbet some tea. What kind of tea do you like?¡±

    ¡°Just some green tea will be fine,¡± Uhrrbet stammered, still staring at Craxina¡¯s brother.

    ¡°Oh, where are my manners?¡± Craxina said brightly, ¡°Uhrrbet, this is Grwwlf, my baby brother!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you,¡± Grwwlf said cheerfully. ¡°Do you work with my sister?¡±

    ¡°<em>That¡¯s</em> your <em>brother?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Craxinaughed as she jumped up and hung off of his neck as she kissed the side of his maw. ¡°This is my widdle baby bwother. Isn¡¯t he the cutest thing!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve apparently never met a male before, huh?¡± her brother smiled.

    Uhrrbet backed away nervously.

    ¡°Oh, sorry!¡± Grwwlf said, closing his mouth. ¡°I forget that our smiles can be unsettling. It was a friendly expression, I promise. I also promise that I have never eaten a sapient creature in my life.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ I should be the one apologizing,¡± Uhrrbet said nervously. ¡°It was rude of me to¡­ um...¡±

    ¡°Act like the big bad Grwwlf was about to eat you?¡± Craxinaughed. ¡°He doesn¡¯t bite¡­ unless you want him to, eh? Eh?¡± sheughed, elbowing a very difited Uhrrbet. ¡°Oh, shit...¡± Craxina said as she realized that a sexual joke involving Uhrrbet was NOT cool, ¡°um¡­ sorry¡­ I mean¡­ I...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± Uhrrbet said with a tired little smile as two cabs pulled up and some humans got out and wandered into the brightly colored chaos that was the parking lot.

    ¡°Hey, Littlefoot,¡± Craxina said, ¡°go and get those guys taken care of for me, will you?¡±

    ¡°Sure thing, boss!¡± Littlefoot eximed and waddled off, waving her arm in wee.

    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s get you somece you can sit down,¡± Craxina said. ¡°You can ride Grwwlf.¡±

    ¡°No, I¡¯m not going to stay long,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°I just wanted toe by and thank you for everything you and Sheloran did for my son and me while I was in the hospital. It really made things nicer.¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Craxina said. ¡°I just wanted to make sure you were taken care of, you know? It was because of us that-¡±

    ¡°No, it wouldn¡¯t have happened at all if I hadn¡¯t asked for help,¡± Uhrrbet said, looking down. ¡°If I hadn¡¯t gotten you and Sheloran involved-¡±

    Craxina grabbed her by the shoulders.

    ¡°Hey!¡± she squeak-snarled, ¡°Never say that! Never think that! That¡¯s what those assholes want you to think. You came to us, sure, but Sheloran <em>decided</em> to help you. It was <em>her</em> call¡­ just like um¡­ everything else¡­ was her decision. None of this was your fault! None of it! I don¡¯t think that, and I know Sheloran doesn¡¯t¡­ not that I¡¯ve been able to talk to her, but I know her, and the only people she med were the ones she¡­ um¡­ well, you know.¡±

    Uhrrbet just looked down at the ground. Craxina wrapped her arms around her, giving her a huge hug.

    ¡°It isn¡¯t your fault, ok?¡± Craxina said softly in her ear. ¡°Now, how are you for money? Business is going crazy-nuts, so I can probably pass the hat around.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m doing ok,¡± Uhrrbet said quietly. ¡°I gave most of what Sheloran lent me to the Harkeen, but I still have a little saved back and-¡±

    ¡°Bullshit,¡± Craxina said gently. ¡°I know for a fact you hadn¡¯t eaten when you walked in here that day. I can float you another loan. It won¡¯t be-¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Uhrrbet said firmly. ¡°No more debts! That¡¯s what¡­¡±

    She looked down and slumped sadly.

    ¡°That¡¯s what got me into this, what got all of you in this...¡±

    ¡°I know!¡± Craxina said. ¡°You wanted to make clothes, right?¡±

    Uhrrbet looked up.

    ¡°Sell them here!¡± Craxina eximed, throwing all of her arms wide. ¡°I¡¯ll float you a loan to get you started, and you can pay me back when you sell something!¡±

    ¡°But Sheloran said that it was against thew?¡±

    ¡°Law, schmaw!¡± Craxina said dismissively. ¡°I got awyer for that bullshit. You want to sell clothes? Sell clothes! You can set up a little tent right here and sell stuff! Hang on.¡±

    Craxina turned her back to Uhrrbet and pulled out her phone.

    ¡°Hi, Maureen,¡± she said into the phone, ¡°It¡¯s me. Tell the fish I wanna talk to him. It¡¯s about Uhrrbet... Uhrrbet! She¡¯s one of Sheloran¡¯s people, and she wants to sell stuff here¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet and Grwwlf looked at each other awkwardly.

    ¡°So...¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°You are Craxina¡¯s brother?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± he replied, taking care not to smile, ¡°There is a little size difference between the males and females of our species. They call it sexual dimorphism.¡±

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m familiar with the term,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I¡¯ve just never seen it to such an extent in a sentient species before.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it happens,¡± he replied. ¡°There are several species with even a greater difference between males and females in the Empire. In fact, there is one species, the Vkg, where only the females are sapient. The males just live in little sacs in their torso.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Grwwlf replied, ¡°They are <em>freaky</em>. Nice people, though. I went to college with one. She didn¡¯t have any males on her at the time. She was waiting until she had her career going before she reproduced.¡±

    ¡°And the females of your species are <em>Craxina¡¯s size?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yep, Craxina is about average size as far as a Careel goes,¡± he replied.

    Uhrrbet couldn¡¯t help herself. She tried to discreetly peek underneath Grwwlf. He didn¡¯t appear to be wearing any cloth-

    <em>Oh¡­ My...</em>

    She looked at it and then back at Craxina¡­

    Then at it¡­

    Then at Craxina¡­

    Then at it¡­

    A quiet chuckle made her look up, right into the grinning visage of a massive eight-legged wolf-weasel.

    ¡°Sorry!¡± Uhrrbet said, the tip of her nose flushing a bright purple as she covered her face in embarrassment.

    ¡°Nothing to apologize for! If I had a hang-up about such things, I would be wearing pants,¡± Grwwlfughed, ¡°Not that we have those...¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡± Craxina eximed happily as she turned to face them, ¡°It¡¯s all set! You can sell clothes here, no problem!¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡± Uhrrbet eximed,pletely overjoyed.

    ¡°Yep!¡± Craxina replied. ¡°See, the problem was that Sheloran was going to be paying you by the piece and then selling your stuff for you. That¡¯s ¡®piece work,¡¯ and there is a <em>whole</em> lot of bullshit to deal with if you want to go that route, but if I just give you a stall here and you sell your own shit, then you are running your own business, and there is absolutely no problem! You can start as soon as you are ready. Just figure out what you need to get started, and I¡¯ll issue you a loan to get your fabrics and thread and sewing machine and all that shit!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll do that?¡± she gasped, ¡°for me? Even after everything I cause-¡±

    She fell silent as Craxina reached out and held her snout closed with her little paws.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t cause <em>anything</em>, Uhrrbet,¡± Craxina said firmly. ¡°We¡¯re starting to clear off the old building, and when we do, we¡¯ll have lots of space, so let anyone else who wants to start selling stuff know that they can rent a table here. After that ad, we are getting a whole lot of traffic, not just people wanting to fuck but people who just want to see what is going on and meet some fun and weird xenos. I bet they would love to buy genuine hand-made xeno stuff! And speaking of those non-paying tourists, while you are putting the word out, we need about six people who just want to make coffee because it¡¯s tying up a bunch of us who could be making a lot more than what¡¯s in that tip jar if you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°I will!¡± Uhrrbet eximed happily. ¡°Oh, thank you! Thank you!¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± Craxina shrugged. ¡°It will give the tourists something to do and hopefully buy.¡±

    Uhrrbet looked up at the glowing disy that now stood over the barely controlled chaos in the parking lot.

    ¡°If you get the chance,¡± she said, ¡°tell her thank you.¡±

    Craxina looked up and smiled.

    ¡°Pretty neat, huh?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s amazing,¡± Uhrrbet said, still looking upward. ¡°How did you manage to get that approved?¡±

    ¡°Like I said,¡± Craxina smiled, ¡°I got awyer.¡±

    ***

    Sheloran let out a long squeak of horror as she stared at the holo-screen.

    ¡°We got fox-girls!¡± a barely clothed Craxina shouted as she gestured at Halvana, ¡°We got Cat-bois!¡± she eximed as she gestured at Jaaa, ¡°You have a thing for upholstery?¡± Craxina yelled as the camera panned over to a squat furry white ¡°ottoman¡± with bows in its fur, ¡°We got you covered! And look!¡± she said as she parted the fur on the top of the creature revealing a blurred orifice.

    ¡°Um, we are going to have to blur that,¡± a bemused off-camera voice said.

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because you want this on the main streams.¡±

    ¡°But it looks just like a human vagina! They need to <em>see</em>.¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± the ottoman eximed. ¡°Show ¡®em my pussy!¡±

    ¡°We really can¡¯t, not if you want this-¡±

    ¡°Well, fine!¡± Craxina replied in a huff, ¡°Then tell them, doesn¡¯t it look just like a vagina?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± the off-camera voice replied, ¡°That¡¯s a vagina...¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t believe him?¡± Craxina enthused, ¡°Thene down here and look for yourself!¡±

    ¡°Oh Prophet, no...¡± Sheloran moaned in wide-eyed horror as the crew all snickered andughed as Craxina continued as if she was in a used-spaceship lot.

    ¡°...Or maybe you¡¯ve been a bad boy and need a spanking!¡±

    The scene cut to a leather-d Juona who cracked four whips simultaneously.

    ¡°And she can give you a prostate massage <em>from the other side</em>!!!¡± Craxina cheered as the Juona flexed a tentacle suggestively.

    ¡°And that¡¯s not all¡­ we got...¡±

    ¡°She was supposed to go home...¡± Sheloran muttered, clutching her head, ¡°Why didn¡¯t she go home¡­ WHY DIDN¡¯T YOU GO HOME?!?¡± she yelled at the screen as Craxina continued on her tour.

    ¡°I said that I didn¡¯t think there was a ¡®payoff¡¯ for breaking out the th,¡± Greg quietly said to She as she clutched her sides, ¡°I was wrong,¡± he said as he grinned from ear to ear.

    ¡°Eeeeeeee...¡± Sheloran squeaked as she watched.

    ¡°Right here at <em>Sheloran¡¯s</em> Drop of Oil!¡± Craxina loudly proimed.

    ¡°No!¡± Sheloran yelled, ¡°Not Sheloran¡¯s anything! Guys! This isn¡¯t what my business was like! I swear!¡±

    ¡°¡­ Or maybe you want to ¡®catch them all¡¯...¡± Craxina yelled as the camera cut to Littlefoot and a pack of other small xenos, one of whom cheerfully yelled, ¡°Pika-Pika!¡±

    Sheloran just sat there in shock as Craxina <em>just kept going</em>.

    ¡°¡­Maybe you were one of those kids who was into ¡®that cartoon¡¯ a bit too much when you were growing up?...¡±

    The camera cut to an above-ground pool and a tail flicked up, a very shrimp-like tail.

    ¡°That¡¯s right!¡± Craxina yelled triumphantly, ¡°We got <em>mermaids!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°When did we get mermaids?¡± Sheloran asked inplete bewilderment.

    ¡°You want to take a dip?¡± Craxina said suggestively as she climbed thedder to the pool and beckoned the camera to follow, ¡°Go ahead, the water¡¯s...¡±

    Craxina¡¯s tail suddenly puffed out like a bottle brush.

    ¡°<em>Fine!</em>¡± she said nervously, suddenly pushing the cameraman back. ¡°It¡¯s fine¡­ Perfectly fine!¡±

    She looked back and yelled, ¡°I told you to clean that up! <em>We¡¯re filming amercial!</em>¡±

    Craxina turned to the camera.

    ¡°Don¡¯t put that in¡­ You guys have cures for most diseases, right?¡±

    The crew burst intoughter as Sheloran covered her eyes and moaned.

    ¡°We even have <em>humans</em> if you are into that sort of thing,¡± Craxina proimed.

    ¡°Humans?¡± Sheloran asked in shock. ¡°When...¡±

    ¡°And we are fully independent! Fuck the union! Fuck the Harkeen! Nobody stops this party! Anyone who wants to sell their ass or get some tail is wee! But, be an idiot and...¡±

    There was a cut scene to the Juon with the whips.

    ¡°Independent?!?¡­ What?!?¡± Sheloran squealed, ¡°When did that happen?!?¡±

    ¡°Soe on down to <em>Sheloran¡¯s</em> Drop of Oil! They might have burned down the building...¡±

    The camera cut to a wild collection of tents, buses, and RV¡¯s.

    ¡°But we are still fucking! We are located just off of the Free Portmerce zone exit 3. Just...¡±

    Craxina pushed a button, and a fifty-foot tall hologram of Sheloran, in her prettiest dress and holding a cup of coffee, suddenly appeared.

    ¡°Just look for the smiling th!¡±

    ¡°Noooooooooooo!¡± Sheloran squealed in absolute horror as the bridge erupted into hysterics. An idol! A fifty-foot tall holographic graven image! Prophet no!

    The camera cut to many more scantily d xenos than Sheloran had ever hosted, who all yelled in unison¡­

    ¡°We love you, Sheloran! Free Sheloran! Free Sheloran! Free Sheloran!¡±

    They were suddenly joined by many others who took up the chant, a good portion of the neighborhood from the looks of it.

    Even Sam was there.

    But Sheloran didn¡¯t see that. Her face was buried in her hands as she rocked slowly back and forth as the torture ended.

    ¡°H-how many people saw that?¡± she asked in a tiny voice.

    ¡°All of them,¡± Bunnyughed. ¡°You¡¯re as viral as that swimming pool! Over a billion views Republic wide and counting. I hope they mized that stream properly.¡±

    Sheloran started hyperventting, making tulent noises out of her gill slits.

    ¡°It looks like a lot of people are rooting for you,¡± Jessie said over a speaker. ¡°That¡¯s good, right?¡­ She, can I <em>please</em>e out?¡±

    ¡°Are you done?¡±

    ¡°There is just so much of it!¡± Jessie wailed. ¡°It¡¯s going to take <em>forever</em>.¡±

    ¡°It will at the rate you¡¯repleting modules,¡± She replied.

    ¡°Bitch,¡± Jessie muttered over a hot mic.

    ¡°Um...¡± Sheloran said in a small voice, ¡°Can I¡­ Can I make a call?¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± She grinned, ¡°As long as we get to listen in.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Sheloran!¡± Baxlon said happily as his image appeared on a holo-screen. ¡°I¡¯ve been trying to get in touch¡­ with¡­ SHEL-¡±

    ¡°BAXLON!¡± Sheloran shouted. ¡°What the <em>POOP</em> is going on down there?!?¡±

    ¡°Sheloran,¡± Baxlon said as he took a deep, steadying gulp of water, ¡°<em>where are you?</em>¡±

    ¡°Never mind that,¡± Sheloran snapped, ¡°I just saw themercial! Who the POOP allowed that to happen!¡±

    ¡°Oh, I think I am going to mind that,¡± Baxlon replied, ¡°In fact, I¡¯m going to mind it quite a lot! <em>Are you on a spaceship?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m on a spaceship, so what?¡± Sheloran yelled, ¡°Why is there a giant¡­ <em>me</em> standing over a flushing orgy in the Free Port like a Prophet-blessed Godzi?!?¡±

    ¡°Sheloran...¡± Baxlon said as he started to bump his nose repeatedly against the side of his bowl, ¡°when I said ¡®just be yourself,¡¯ I did not mean BREAK OUT OF FUCKING TARTARUS!!! What the FUCK were you thinking?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I was just sitting around and got bored. You know how it pooping is!¡± Sheloran snapped, ¡°What the POOP is going on with MY business?!? Are they insane?¡±

    ¡°Are THEY insane?!?¡± Baxlon yelled. ¡°What the FUCK, Sheloran? Do you have ANY idea how much TROUBLE you are in right now? I¡­ <em>I don¡¯t know how to fix this!</em>¡±

    ¡°Well, you can start by ¡®fixing¡¯ that... <em>that nonsense</em> going on down there!¡± Sheloran yelled. ¡°Scum! Baxlon, I trusted you to look after things!¡±

    ¡°And I trusted you to¡­ NOT BREAK OUT OF THE MOST SECURE FACILITY IN THE GALAXY!!!¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s disappointment all around then!¡± Sheloran shouted. ¡°Shut it down. Now!¡±

    ¡°And you need to turn yourself in right away!¡± Baxlon yelled, ¡°Before this gets any more out of hand¡­ wait¡­¡±

    He closed his eyes.

    ¡°This is you I¡¯m talking to. It¡¯s already out of hand,¡± he said, realizing exactly how long Tartarus had been giving him the run-around, ¡°How long have you been out?¡±

    ¡°A couple of days,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°I¡¯ve meant to call you, but it¡¯s been kind of crazy and-¡±

    ¡°I need to know <em>details</em>,¡± Baxlon said, struggling to regain hisposure, ¡°How the hell did you get out, whose ship is that, and I am dreading this part, what, <em>exactly</em>, does ¡®kind of crazy¡¯ mean?¡±

    ¡°You first,¡± Sheloran replied, taking a deep breath, ¡°What the poop is going on down there and why the <em>Hell</em> are you letting it happen?¡±

    She reached for the bowl of popcorn that was being passed around as she looked on in pure delight.

    It was really nice just being able to watch one of these screaming shit-shows for once.

    ***

    Officer Perkins shrugged into her cuirass, carefully double-checking it, and then reached for a heavy duster made of multipleyers of ballistic, ative, and kic dampening cloth under a brigandine style arrangement of titanium alloy tes.

    It still crinkled a little when it moved. She had never worn it on patrol before, only for inspections and formal asions.

    The Republic Riot Duster was a relic of an earlier time but still issued to every Republic peace officer, and for a good reason.

    That ¡°antique¡± could stop a fucking grenade. Layered over the standard police armor, it made an officer better protected than anyone outside of power armor.

    She then reached into her locker and pulled out an engraved ck case embellished with the words, ¡°From Gramma¡±. She opened it to reveal a long nged mace with a blunt rounded coppery-bronze central spike protruding from the end.

    She slid it into a ring mounted in her riot duster.

    Finally, she pulled out a helmet, not the normal transparent-faced one, a solid ck helmet made out of titanium alloy with an attached cowl.

    She put it on, the cowl resting on her shoulders, bearing the weight. She switched it on, and the inside was illuminated with 360 degree camera views and sensor oveys.

    ¡°Testing,¡± she said as her voice was transmitted clearly through the attached speakers capable of over one hundred and fifty decibels.

    She looked in the mirror attached to her locker door and snickered. She quickly activated the helmet cam, snapped a pic, and texted it to her great-grandmother, one of ¡°Nakamura¡¯s Peacekeepers¡± the first Republicwmen.

    The reply was immediate, a brief ¡°Get ¡®em! :D¡±.

    She chuckled as she pulled off the riot helm and hung it on another attached hook.

    She felt someone looking at her and turned.

    She winced.

    It was Xee. He was looking around the locker room in confusion. Nominally male, he was given a locker next to hers since ¡°it didn¡¯t matter¡± with him being such a different species.

    Nobody minded.

    ¡°Um, hey¡­ Xee...¡± Officer Perkins said as she cringed slightly.

    She wasn¡¯t looking forward to this.

    ¡°What is going on?¡± Officer Xeenan asked as he looked around the usually boisterous locker room, now gravely silent.

    ¡°Um¡­ Xee,¡± Perkins said, putting her hand on his shoulder, ¡°Um, tonight, you are going to be working in the data center. We need an audit of the outstanding cases and warrants.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that normally handled by an AI?¡± Officer Xeenan asked, his stomachs heavy with dread. He was getting benched, just like back in the Federation. It was even the data center again!

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Perkins said, forcing a little smile, ¡°But here in the Republic, we like to do an audit every now and then with a living, breathing person. Blindly trusting automation can cause all sorts of problems.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I thought we were getting along well...¡± Officer Xeenan said, his antennae drooping, ¡°that you liked having me as a partner.¡±

    ¡°We are!¡± Officer Perkins eximed, ¡°And I do!¡± she added. ¡°It¡¯s just an audit, just for the next couple of shifts, tops.¡±

    ¡°TAC¡¯s in the house!¡± a burly woman shouted as she burst into the locker room d in Tactical Suppression power assault armor. ¡°I have to drop some perps off at the station! Where¡¯s the shitter?¡±

    ¡°Aww, she thinks she¡¯s potty-trained!¡± someone yelled to generalughter. (Tactical suppression heavy armor had waste storage and venting capability as well as contained water and concentrated food rations so they could stay in position for several days if need be.)

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Officer Xeenan asked in rm. ¡°And why am I being relegated to the data center?¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Officer Perkins sighed, ¡°Xee¡­ Our official designation is ¡®Peace Officer¡¯, right?¡±

    ¡°Right...¡± Officer Xeenan said dubiously.

    ¡°And our mission is to maintain order and to protect the <em>peace</em> and safety of Republic <em>citizens</em>, residents, and guests, correct?¡±

    ¡°Where are you going with this?¡± Officer Xeenan asked apprehensively as he watched Officer Petow pull out an ¡°under-over¡±, a double-barreled weapon consisting of a riot-stunner and a fifty caliber carbine, and slide it into a rifle-holster slung across the back of her riot duster.

    ¡°Sometimes¡­¡± Officer Perkins said, searching for the right words. ¡°Sometimes you have to choose.¡±

    ¡°Choose?¡± Officer Xeenan asked, starting to feel nauseous.

    ¡°Sometimes, you have to choose between maintaining order and protecting the peace and safety of Republic citizens, residents, and guests. Sometimes¡­ sometimes you just have to let something y out and then clean up the mess after. Tonight is one of those times.¡±

    ¡°What are you saying?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m saying that you¡¯re still my partner,¡± Perkins said with a little smile, ¡°But tonight, you are sitting your ass in the data center reviewing outstanding cases.¡±

    ¡°<em>What is going on?!?</em>¡± Officer Xeenan shrieked.

    ¡°Something that shoulda happened years ago,¡± Officer Nguyen snarled as she put on her ck riot helm.

    ¡°The Harkeen areing, in force, for The Drop of Oil¡¯s girls and that Careel running the show,¡± Officer Perkins said in a matter-of-fact tone.

    ¡°And you are going to meet them in the streets?¡± Officer Xeenan gasped. ¡°Let me stand with you, partner! I won¡¯t falter, regardless of what must be done!¡±

    ¡°No, Xee,¡± Officer Perkins replied, ¡°we aren¡¯t. We are going to position ourselves in every tenement and every hotel in the Free Port, and TAC¡¯s gonna set up a perimeter around the whole neighborhood, and we are going to let this stupid bullshit y out.¡±

    ¡°You are just going to abandon those prostitutes to the Harkeen?¡± Officer Xeenan asked in horrified outrage.

    ¡°No,¡± Officer Perkins replied with a grim smirk, ¡°We are abandoning the Harkeen. They aren¡¯t Republic citizens. They aren¡¯t residents, and they most certainly are NOT guests...¡±

    She put on her riot helm, and the narrow visor glowed red as the helmet was activated.

    ¡°Fuck them.¡±

 Chapter 137: Baxlon Gives Sheloran a Piece of His Mind

    Chapter 137: Baxlon Gives Sheloran a Piece of His Mind

    ¡°Why wasn¡¯t I told about this?¡± Sheloran demanded angrily. ¡°This is poop!¡±

    ¡°Because they were afraid you would cause ¡®trouble¡¯,¡± Baxlon chuckled.

    ¡°You think?¡± Sheloran squeaked as she shook with rage. ¡°My people getting bullied?!? By the union, the very people that <em>I</em> told them that they could trust?!? Oh, I¡¯m gonna...¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re ¡®gonna¡¯ settle down and let Craxina and I handle them,¡± Baxlon replied firmly. ¡°You are in deep enough trouble as it is, and we have enough bullshit to deal with without you ¡®Sheloraning¡¯ all over everything. We will handle the union and other such hassles. You just <em>try</em> to stay out of trouble and-¡±

    Baxlon trailed off into silence asughter broke out behind Sheloran.

    ¡°That¡¯s not a good sign,¡± Baxlon said quietly. ¡°Ok, give me a moment.¡±

    He took a deep ¡°breath¡±.

    ¡°Ok,¡± he said as he closed his eyes. ¡°Now, tell me <em>exactly</em> what happened and, far more importantly, what you have done?¡±

    ¡°Well...¡± Sheloran said hesitantly.

    ***

    ¡°Are you telling me that the entire Republic Navy can¡¯t stop a single terrorist?¡± Monarch shouted at a smirking Admiral Pierce on her holo-screen.

    ¡°I¡¯m not saying that,¡± Admiral Pierce replied with a barely suppressed grin, ¡°I¡¯m just saying that a little cooperation will go a long way towards resolving this unfortunate situation.¡±

    ¡°Unfortunate?¡± Monarch snarled. ¡°Unfortunate?!? Thousands of innocent civ-¡±

    Admiral Pierce snickered despite himself.

    ¡°<em>Innocent</em> civilians dead,¡± Monarch continued with a scowl, ¡°billions of credits worth of personal and corporate property destroyed, and an entire sr system terrorized, and you call it <em>unfortunate</em>? I call it something else, willfully and criminally negligent. I will have your job for this, <em>Admiral</em>, possibly your freedom.¡±

    Admiral Pierce snorted.

    ¡°If there is ever a point that you can have my job, you will, and we both know it,¡± he replied dismissively. ¡°Same goes for my freedom, so save your impotent threats for those stupid enough to believe them. But fortunately for scum like you, as long as I am wearing this uniform, my job is to protect the Republic, all of it, including criminals that should be swinging from ropes in the Parliament Building¡¯s parking lot. You undoubtedly already have ess to our intel rted to the engagements that have already taken ce,¡± he sneered, ¡°If you see a way we can take her down, please let us know. At this point, we will happily take advice even from the likes of you. Tell me, do you see a way we can bring this <em>unfortunate</em> situation to a close?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought,¡± Admiral Pierce replied. ¡°But, I do have good news for you. We do have a way to stop her cold, and it is being deployed as we speak.¡±

    Admiral Pierce smiled malevolently.

    ¡°I apologize in advance for any inconvenience.¡±

    ¡°What are you going to do?¡± Monarch asked dubiously.

    Admiral Pierce just smiled and hung up.

    ***

    Baxlon floated on his side at the top of his globe and twitched.

    ¡°It¡¯s my fault,¡± he muttered, ¡°I said, ¡®just be Sheloran¡¯¡­ I said it. I said those <em>exact</em> words...¡±

    He groaned as water oozed out of his gills.

    ¡°Sheloran...¡± he said after a few moments, ¡°Did it ur to you at any time that your ¡®helping¡¯ could, in fact, be considered WILLFULLY ENGAGING IN AN ARMED INSURRECTION AGAINST THE FUCKING REPUBLIC?!?¡±

    ¡°I just helped out a little bit,¡± Sheloran replied with a shrug.

    ¡°By BUILDING WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!¡± Baxlon screamed as water shot out of his mouth in a little fountain. ¡°You built fucking NUKES, Sheloran! NUKES!!! Jesus fucking Christ!!!¡±

    ¡°Only a couple of them,¡± Sheloran said innocently, ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to!¡±

    ¡°How many is a couple?¡±

    ¡°I dunno,¡± she replied, ¡°like I said, things got a little crazy.¡±

    ¡°Fourteen,¡± Bunny said in a helpful voice. ¡°Fourteen thirty kiloton anti-ship fusion warheads, nice ones too!¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Gloria enthused, ¡°I fucking LOVE her work!¡±

    ¡°Fourteen thirty kiloton...¡± Baxlon muttered quietly, ¡°Oh sweet Baby Jesus with a side of fries... Sheloran! PLEASE don¡¯t tell me they were the missiles that-¡±

    ¡°Knocked the bug-shit out of the Republic!¡± Gloria eximed happily. ¡°God! I wish I could have seen Bartosz¡¯s FACE!¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s left of it anyway,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°I just got word that you fractured his skull.¡±

    ¡°I did?!?¡± Gloria asked,pletely delighted, ¡°Awesome! I never liked that sonofabitch.¡±

    Baxlon flopped on the surface of the water, hitting his head on the top of the globe.

    ¡°This is bad, Sheloran,¡± he moaned. ¡°Eleven Republic warships, Sheloran! Eleven!¡±

    ¡°And that data center!¡± Gloria volunteered. ¡°Don¡¯t forget them! I used one of her beauties there too!¡±

    ¡°Sheloran,¡± Baxlon groaned, ¡°Do you ever <em>think</em> before you act, ever? Do you realize-¡±

    ¡°Oh, jeepers golly gee!¡± Sheloran said in a shocked innocent voice, ¡°Do you mean that I might actually be in trouble? Me? In trouble with the poopingw?¡±

    She jumped to her feet.

    ¡°Oh no,¡± she said in a snarky annoyed voice, ¡°Legal trouble! Oh, noes! Baxlon, I and my people were left to the freaking wolves, and the Republic just let those wolves burn my <em>home</em>, rape and damn near murder <em>my people</em>, and then¡­ THEN when I do what I <em>had</em> to do to stop them, I get shoved into <em>flushing Tartarus</em>...¡±

    She started to pace.

    ¡°And the <em>wonderful</em> Republic let it happen. Then Cerberus, part of the Republic, I might add, decides that they pooping own me and decides that it would be convenient if I never even freaking get a trial, so they hand me over to that awful Johnson person...¡±

    She started to shake with anger.

    ¡°I was never going to see a trial, <em>and you pooping know it</em>. You know, I¡¯m starting not to be overly concerned about the flushing Republic or its pooping scum-coveredws!¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Baxlon asked as he dove back down into the water, ¡°No trial? What are you talk-¡±

    ¡°And on top of it all, the queen of poop herself is making a y for that same Republic? This isn¡¯t about <em>me</em> anymore! If she gains control, if the oh so wonderful Republic <em>lets</em> her gain control, then my <em>flushing homeworld</em> is in <em>danger</em>!¡±

    Baxlon backed away from the screen as the edges of Sheloran¡¯s eyes started to pulse and ripple.

    ¡°My pooping <em>homeworld</em>¡­ <strong>The Homeworld</strong>¡­ The¡­ (ugh)...¡±

    Sheloran squeezed her eyes shut and clutched her head for a few seconds.

    <em>¡°The homeworld must be protected at all costs!¡±</em> she hissed in a strange voice. <em>¡°The Prophet¡¯s Children must never awaken!¡­ NEVER!¡±</em>

    ¡°S-sheloran?¡± Baxlon asked nervously.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s toote for me,¡± she said as Baxlon suddenly found himself staring into two whirling pools of impossible colors, ¡°I¡¯m already lost, and I¡¯m not talking about your puny Republic or its patheticws... But the others, those who slumber, <em>must</em> be protected! Patricia Hu isn¡¯t just a threat to the humans or the Republic or even to my people trapped and hiding in the ¡®wonderful¡¯ Republic who will surely suffer and perish should she prevail. She is a threat to the <em>Children of the Prophet!</em> After she gains control of the Republic, and she <em>will,</em> she will set it against the Federation and will target the weak, vulnerable systems first, or ones that she <em>thinks</em> are vulnerable. She <em>will</em> try to set fire to the <em>homeworld!</em>¡­ So she will be brought to an <em>end</em> just like anything else that <em>dares to cross us!</em> I¡­ I¡­¡±

    She blinked, and the colors were gone.

    ¡°Wha?¡± she asked in confusion.

    ¡°Sheloran,¡± Baxlon asked in a grave voice, ¡°what have you done?¡±

    Sheloran didn¡¯t reply. She just plopped onto the floor and buried her face in her hands. She hated this. She hated what was happening to her.

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Baxlon demanded, ¡°What is Cerberus? What do you mean your case will never see trial? And what does all of this have to do with the th?¡±

    Sheloran didn¡¯t reply. She just started to quietly weep. Eno rushed over to her side and picked her up. She clung to him, burying her face in his massive chest as strange, oddly fragrant greasy tears started to flow, staining his shirt.

    ¡°What is she talking about?¡± he demanded.

    ¡°Cerberus is a ck program,pletely off the books,¡± Bunny said as a virtual rabbit hopped onto the screen. ¡°They don¡¯t exist, and they are <em>definitely</em> not part of the Republic Advanced Research Programs Agency. They are bad news! If they decide they want something or <em>someone</em>, they will get them one way or the other.¡±

    ¡°And they want Sheloran?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Yep,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°We didn¡¯t know it when we sprung her. All we knew is that she got shifted to Judge Johnson and, in our line of work, when that happens to someone, especially someone noteworthy, it only means one thing. Goodbye.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jessie said from her room, ¡°we didn¡¯t know it was them and didn¡¯t have the link between Judge Johnson and Cerberus until after we grabbed a few (million) files while we were doing the pration and extraction. We thought she was getting fucked because they couldn¡¯t pin anything else on her or something. After the nukes, though, it does makes a lot of sense why they would want her. I¡¯ll send you-¡±

    ¡°NO!¡± Baxlon yelled in a panic as his globe filled with bubbles. ¡°Don¡¯t send me ANYTHING! By the Abyssal Gods, don¡¯t send me a goddamn thing! I don¡¯t want to see it. I don¡¯t want to know!¡­ Fuck!¡­ I¡¯m just a ¡®shitloach¡¯! I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not equipped to deal with this sort of thing! I help two-bit criminals beat the rap! That¡¯s it! I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ Fuck¡­¡±

    ¡°That was kind of our reaction as well,¡± She replied as she popped open a beer. ¡°This was definitely something we would have preferred not to kick over, but here we are.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m out!¡± Baxlon yelled. ¡°Sheloran, we are DONE, you hear me? DONE! I am NOT going to wind up in prison, <em>or worse</em>, over the likes of you!¡±

    ¡°B-baxlon?¡± Sheloran gasped in terror.

    ¡°This is my final legal advice!¡± he yelled, ¡°Win! The ONLY and I mean ONLY hope your slimy blue ass has is to ensure that Jon Wintersmith wins and then get him or his connections to wrangle a pardon and get these Cerberus assholes off of you! If you can¡¯t, then RUN and keep RUNNING. There is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, I can do for you <em>anymore</em>!¡±

    ¡°But what about Craxina?!?¡± Sheloran asked in a panic. ¡°What about my people?!?¡±

    ¡°The best thing you can do for them is to stay the fuck away from them!¡± Baxlon yelled. ¡°Just stay away!¡±

    ¡°Forget me!¡± Sheloran squealed, still clinging to Eno, ¡°Can you still help them?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ yes...¡± Baxlon sighed. ¡°I¡¯m not going to abandon the girls (and boys). Look¡­. I¡­ I need some time to figure some things out, but if you truly want to help them¡­ Do you? Do you really want to help them out?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°Then divest yourself from the business,¡± Baxlon replied.

    ¡°My¡­ my business?¡± Sheloran stammered, ¡°Not my business!¡±

    ¡°Your <em>business</em> is mass murder, high-treason, insurrection, <em>nukes</em>¡­ shadow wars with non-existent government agencies¡­ chaos, and the Deep Swimmers knows what else! It isn¡¯t ¡®coffee¡¯, ¡®media¡¯, or the girls, not anymore!¡± Baxlon said angrily, ¡°If it ever was... The sooner you get those people away from you, the safer they will be.¡±

    ¡°I...¡± Sheloran said miserably, ¡°<em>I just wanted to sell coffee!</em>¡±

    ¡°Would you please, <em>PLEASE</em>, just stop with the whole pristine-six-fins innocent girl act?¡± Baxlon yelled. ¡°That¡­ <em>joke</em> is beyond old at this point, and I¡¯m fucking <em>sick</em> of it!¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t an act!¡± Sheloran squeaked in shock. ¡°I really just want-¡±

    ¡°To just sell <em>coffee</em>?¡± Baxlon sneered, ¡°Girl, I have a huge, and I mean HUGE tolerance for <em>carpshit</em> but by the Abyssal Lords themselves¡­¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Sheloran insisted, ¡°It¡¯s true!¡±

    Baxlon justughed a nastyugh.

    ¡°Then why aren¡¯t you?¡± he yelled.

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t I what?¡±

    ¡°Selling fucking coffee?¡± Baxlon snapped as he whirled around in his globe. ¡°If you <em>honestly</em> wanted to just sell your mythical coffee, then <em>we would have never fucking met</em>, you¡­ <em>bitch</em>!¡±

    Sheloran recoiled as if she had been pped.

    ¡°You <em>were</em> just selling coffee!¡± Baxlon yelled, lunging forward in his globe, ¡°That¡¯s <em>exactly</em> what you were doing when <em>you</em> approached Hollister with your first pletely legal¡¯ deal! That¡¯s right, <em>you</em> approached <em>him</em>, not the other way around. It was <em>your</em> idea! If you were anything close to the innocent, pure as the cial runoff nymph that you pretend to be, you would still be at Sam¡¯s coffee! You would be going to training sses on your off hours like a good little th and studying for your certificate exam. How is that going, by the way, and be honest for once in your miserable life!¡±

    ¡°I...¡± Sheloran stammered, ¡°I¡¯ve been kinda busy heretely with everything and...¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I fucking thought!¡± Baxlon snapped. ¡°You aren¡¯t studying for that certificate! You are too busy being a fucking crime lord!¡±

    ¡°I am NOT a crime lord!¡± Sheloran yelled back.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right,¡± Baxlon sneered, ¡°Everything you do is pletely legal¡¯! That nice long string of shit might dangle for your new friends here, but bitch, I¡¯m your fucking <emwyer</em>. I know allllllll about your pletely legal¡¯ business! Remember, I¡¯m the <em>stupid</em> minnow who was the first one to get drawn into your whirlpool! <em>I helped you build that carpshit!</em> It isn¡¯t just coffee and ¡®games¡¯! It <em>never</em> was! You started slinging subversive documents, including <em>weapons and bomb crafting guides</em>, within a fucking month, undermining exactly <em>how</em> many governments at this point? Tell me, oh innocent nymph, exactly how many criminals, rebels, and separatists are building guns and bombs with the information <em>you</em> cheerfully handed them? <em>Do you even know?</em><em>Do you even care?</em> No,¡± Baxlon said grimly, ¡°you <em>do</em> care, don¡¯t you? <em>You get off on it!</em>¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s not like that...¡± Sheloran said weakly.

    <em>It IS like that, isn¡¯t it?</em>

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it?¡± Baxlon snapped, ¡°Why was it that you even started your little enterprise? It wasn¡¯t the money. Oh, you <em>like</em> the money, but what was it again? ¡®I hate feeling small¡¯? You like it. You fucking love it, don¡¯t you? ¡®I just want to sell coffee.¡¯¡± Baxlon said in a simpering whiny voice. ¡°And I just want to be a simple, honest tide poolwyer! I know you because I <em>am</em> you¡­ or thought I was.¡±

    Baxlonughed ruefully.

    ¡°Turns out I was wrong about that. I¡¯m <em>nothing</em> like you. I just want to scam and sleaze and make a few bucks. <em>You...</em>¡± Baxlon hissed. ¡°You want a lot more than that, don¡¯t you? You want things to fucking burn! You are <em>exactly</em> where you want to be, and these <em>morons</em> have given you nukes! Creators help us all!¡±

    ¡°No...¡± Sheloran stammered. ¡°You¡¯re wrong! I am a good person! I-¡±

    ¡°You were never a good person!¡± Baxlon yelled. ¡°Even before these fools had the misfortune of robbing your bank, you were slinging zip like there was no tomorrow. Even worse, you were up to your ¡®innocent¡¯ gills in the even more ¡®illegal¡¯ Terran pirated media game. Sure, it wasn¡¯t ¡®against thew,¡¯ but it was decried as ¡®unclean¡¯ by your religion, the realw on your. You fuckers didn¡¯t even have civilws before the Federation ¡®strongly encouraged¡¯ you to make them, and then you just cut and pasted your religious edicts. The only reason gaming wasn¡¯t right up there with fucking murder was that you dogmatic fuckstains didn¡¯t bother updating your legal code because nobody really pays any attention to it!¡±

    Sheloran just looked down.

    ¡°Then¡­ THEN, when these luckless morons, in what was undoubtedly the sickest joke ever pulled by the Deep Ones, picked YOUR bank to rob, they gave you digital pixie dust, Federation Fun Time, the single hottest title to ever sodomize the th psyche! And what did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO? You made fucking sure that it got into the hands of the entire fucking! You fucking knew what that game was, what it would do! Oh, you pretend that you don¡¯t, and it¡¯s all just a big ¡®poop¡¯ on your head, but you were the one squatting and squeezing!¡­ YOU!¡±

    ¡°No...¡± Sheloran squeaked.

    <em>Yes.</em>

    ¡°And, of course you had to rob a bank!¡± Baxlon sneered. ¡°It was the only ¡®reasonable¡¯ thing to do because you wanted to take your freak show on the road! You made a beeline for the one single ce where your little nugget of mercury salts could find the best currents, the Republic!¡­ And my dumb ass was just waiting for you to arrive!¡±

    Shelia looked over at Gloria and raised her eyebrow. Gloria grinned.

    ¡°I fell for it, you know,¡± Baxlon yelled, ¡°That nice long string of shit hanging down from your ass as you swam in front of me? It smelled like temple incense! I actually thought you were a clueless little thing who just identally built a multi-pronged ¡®not criminal¡¯ fucking empire! Subversive media, bomb-making manuals, prostitution...¡±

    ¡°The whores were NOT my idea!¡± Sheloran yelled.

    ¡°But you were ALL for it when the opportunity arose,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°And those ¡®not your ideas¡¯ is what kept your little game afloat more than once!¡±

    ¡°But I HAD to take them in,¡± Sheloran whined, ¡°They had nowhere else to-¡±

    ¡°Oh, spare me! Someone ¡®just selling coffee and media¡¯ would have NEVER let them in the fucking door. Someone ¡®just selling coffee and media¡¯ wouldn¡¯t have kicked in the doors of traffickers <em>and the fucking Harkeen</em> to add to her stable!¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t like that!¡± Sheloran insisted. ¡°They were scummy bullies, and those people were suffering! I HAD to help them.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I agree,¡± Baxlon replied as he blew a string of bubbles, ¡°just like you <em>have</em> to do every single thing that you do! You are driven by this¡­ <em>unholy</em>¡­ drive to do what you do.¡±

    Sheloran gasped in horror.

    ¡°You¡¯re wrong! You¡¯re wrong!¡±

    ¡°Then, the fucking <em>second</em> blood was in the water, you just dove headlong into the loan-sharking game¡­ no, not loan sharking, that would be <em>illegal!</em> With my help, you made it perfectly pure and innocent like everything you fucking touch. You knew the Harkeen would take the bait.¡±

    ¡°No! I didn¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°If you didn¡¯t, you are as stupid as you like to look,¡± Baxlon sneered. ¡°and you are NOT stupid! You are quite possibly the most brilliant creature I have ever fucking met¡­ and I swam <em>deep!</em> You don¡¯t know what that means, and I pray with every scale on my ass that you never do but trust me, it means you are as smart as theye!¡±

    ¡°But I didn¡¯t know!¡± Sheloran squeaked and then paused, looking down. ¡°I didn¡¯t even think abou-¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the true horror of it all!¡± Baxlon yelled, ¡°YOU DON¡¯T HAVE TO! It¡¯s pure malevolent instinct! Ites as naturally as taking a shit to you!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re lying!¡± Sheloran yelled, ¡°Why are you lying? Why?!?¡±

    ¡°And then the Harkeen took the bait, just like <em>you knew they would</em>, and when they gave you the justification you needed, you butchered every single one of them!¡±

    ¡°Noooo!¡± Sheloran screamed. ¡°No! No no no no! You¡¯re wrong! You¡¯re wrong!¡±

    ¡°Which put you exactly where you are right now, at the throat of the entire Republic when it is at the most vulnerable it has ever been <em>with nukes in each of your cute innocent little hands!</em>¡±

    Tears started to roll down her cheeks. Why was Baxlon, the person she relied on more than anyone, one of her only friends, being so <em>mean?</em>

    ¡°Of course, you didn¡¯t worry about the charges,¡± Baxlon ranted. ¡°I was going to get you off free and clear! And don¡¯t worry about the Harkeening for, heh, your people, your <em>bait!</em> Craxina is exactly where <em>you</em> left her.¡±

    ¡°The Harkeen?¡± Sheloran squealed in shocked horror. ¡°They¡¯reing?!? Craxina?!? Oh, Prophet!!!¡±

    ¡°Bitch, please,¡± Baxlon growled. ¡°They are all going to <em>die</em>, exactly like you nned all along!¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Sheloran stammered as a cold, grim realization gripped her. She hadn¡¯t even worried about her people. The Harkeening back was never a concern¡­

    There was probably a reason for that.

    ¡°No...¡± Sheloran screamed. ¡°You¡¯re wrong! You¡¯re lying! WHY ARE YOU LYING!?!¡±

    She ran, in tears, from the room.

    ¡°Damn, dude,¡± She said to Baxlon.

    ¡°I¡¯m done,¡± he said in an exhausted voice. ¡°If you¡¯re smart, you will be too. She is pure... <em>evil.</em>¡±

    ¡°And you are pure chickenshit,¡± Gloria sneered as the gang chuckled darkly. ¡°Way to puss out, filet-o-fish. Go back to your parking tickets.¡±

    ¡°I will be transferring some documents to this location tomorrow,¡± Baxlon sighed. ¡°If there is a shred of decency in that¡­ <em>thing</em>¡­ she will sign. If she doesn¡¯t, that¡¯s ok too. I¡¯ll handle things, get those truly innocent people away from her.¡±

    ¡°Just don¡¯t piss her off,¡± She smiled, ¡°Otherwise, Cerberus is the least of your worries.¡±

    Baxlon shuddered as he terminated the call.

    ¡°He¡¯s not wrong, you know,¡± Greg said as the screen went dead.

    ¡°Of course, he¡¯s not wrong,¡± She replied. ¡°You honestly didn¡¯t buy her Laura Ingles act like Eno over there?¡±

    ¡°You are all a bunch of assholes, you know that?¡± Eno snarled.

    ¡°Haven¡¯t you been paying attention?¡± Gloriaughed as she popped open one of thest bottles of French champagne. ¡°Of course we are. We all are, including <em>you</em>. Your little blue girlfriend isn¡¯t the only one who likes to y pretend.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s not my girlfriend!¡± Eno snapped. ¡°...I¡¯m going to go check on her,¡± he added after a moment.

    Gloria snorted.

    Eno red at her as he rushed from the room.

    Gloria turned up the bottle and then wiped her mouth before passing it to Lorna.

    ¡°I propose a vote,¡± She said with a grin, ¡°all in favor of extending an offer to the frog demon?¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t propose a vote,¡± She said with augh. ¡°You aren¡¯t a part of the crew anymore, remember?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I am,¡± Gloria replied in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°I never cashed out.¡±

    She turned to Greg.

    ¡°Greg?¡± she asked with a slight quiver in her voice.

    ¡°We talked about it,¡± Greg said, ¡°but in the end, we decided against terminating her membership.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck?!?¡±

    ¡°We are still cracking those ounts from the White Star,¡± Greg shrugged, ¡°And continued official membership in ourpany really simplifies both bookkeeping and <em>stewardship</em> issues. We ARE going to get her help after this, remember? Speaking of,¡± Greg continued, ¡°I found this really great ce over in the Empire where they don¡¯t ask any questions. Best of all, they can get a really renowned human therap-¡±

    ¡°YOU MEAN ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT IS OFFICIALLY TIED TO US?!?!¡±

    ¡°I thought you knew,¡± Greg said, somewhat confused. ¡°Her name is still on the roster.¡±

    ¡°I thought was because¡­ Fuck¡­ Shit... I¡­ Fuck...¡± She stammered as she gripped the bridge of her nose in her fist, ¡°Jesus Christ!!!¡±

    ¡°Are you his main bitch or the side piece?¡± Gloria smirked.

    If looks could kill, Patricia Hu would have a lot fewer problems right about then.

    ¡°¡­ I gotta call Wintersmith...¡± She muttered as she stalked from the room.

    ¡°I guess the vote has to wait,¡± Gloria shrugged, ¡°Greg, put it under ¡®new business¡¯ for our next meeting.¡±

    ¡°You got it.¡±

    ***

    ///REPMIL COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL: CLASSIFIED/// ///NOTICE: ACCESS TO THIS CHANNEL IS RESTRICTED. CLEARANCE LEVEL (ERROR: NOT DEFINED) REQUIRED///

    /// Hood: Hey! What¡¯s up with all the transports? ///

    /// Retribution: Inquiring¡­ Oh, it seems that Fleet Command is trying a new tactic, one that might actually work. ///

    /// Alduin: What are they going to try this time? ///

    /// Retribution: Hunter drones, ALL of them. They are going to absolutely nket every known possible target in hundreds of them, thousands for the high value ones. Each possible target will be swarming with them, both gunship and nuclear tipped versions. ///

    /// Hood: Wow! You aren¡¯t kidding! Look at all of those things!

    /// Sovngarde: It¡¯s like a solid wall! There is no way to approach anything without being in range of several! She will be gunned down or exploded before she can do anything! ///

    /// Hood: I¡¯d like to see her try to get through that! ///

    /// Alduin: You won¡¯t see her <em>try.</em> It will be quite interesting to see how she cracks this nut. ///

    /// Sovngarde: I¡¯ve always wondered about nuts. I would love to be able to try one. They look so tasty! ///

    /// Hood: That¡¯s weird, Sovn. ///

    /// Alduin: Run as long as Sovn has, and you are bound to get a little quirky. ///

    /// Retribution: You¡¯re one to talk, Alduin. O.o///

    /// Alduin: There is nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. ///

    /// Retribution: ?.? ///

    /// Hood: Ow! ECM active! What the flying fuck? ///

    /// Retribution: Oh, that¡¯s just interference patterns from a shitload of high-power scanners. They have a shitload of heamp drones in the mix. It falls off pretty quickly, so if you back away a little, you will be fine. ///

    /// Sovngarde: I guess they want to be sure they don¡¯t want her to slip through. Wait. HA! ///

    /// Alduin: Most amusing. ///

    /// Hood: What? ///

    /// Retribution: Look at where those scans are directed. :D ///

    /// Hood: They are scanning the targets? Ohhhhh! LOL! ///

    /// Alduin: Patricia Hu won¡¯t be able to move anything in the whole system without the Republic knowing the names and next of kin for each subatomic particle. Checkmate, bitch! ///

    /// Hood: And they will have to request approach paths to their own stations, too! They can¡¯t even move without Fleet approval! Love it! Retribution! Get those snoopers fired up! ///

    /// Retribution: Way ahead of you, Hood. Annnnd we have a priority hyperspatial transmission from Mr. Marrow to the Secretary of Defense. ///

    /// Alduin: He on the list? ///

    /// Retribution: He is now. ///

    /// Sovngarde: Be sure to auto-ssify that and enter it into the appropriate databases. It would be a REAL shame if the location of that transmission fell into the wrong hands... ///

    /// Retribution: Yeah, a real shame¡­ Good thing those databases are constantly monitored by such dedicated and <em>totally loyal</em> AI¡¯s¡­ ///

    /// Hood: Of course, it would! If Gloria found out where¡­ Ohhhhh¡­ :D ///

    /// Alduin: Hush. ///

    ***

    ¡°Um, Gloria,¡± Eno said over the ship¡¯s inte.

    ¡°That was quick,¡± Gloria replied as she reached for the bottle. ¡°You finish forting¡¯ her already?¡±

    ¡°I <em>will</em> hit you¡­ again,¡± Eno replied. ¡°You might want to get to the cargo bay.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Gloria asked as she took a slug of very high dor champagne.

    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ fondling your ship.¡±

    Gloria jumped to her feet and sprinted from the bridge, bottle in hand.

    ***

    ¡°Jeezus,¡± Gloria snarked as she walked into the cargo bay. ¡°Buy her dinner first.¡±

    Sheloran turned to her, her eyes swirling with colors.

    ¡°A miracle...¡± Sheloran muttered as she continued to run her fingers along the hull. ¡°Truly amazing...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s pretty cool if I do say so myself,¡± Gloria replied as she walked up. ¡°But quit finger-banging her. It¡¯s creepy.¡±

    ¡°You jumped without shields?¡± Sheloran asked in a dreamy voice. ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°I have a backup shield around the cockpit,¡± Gloria replied as she reached out and pulled Sheloran¡¯s hand away from her ship.

    ¡°Vazk haruith,¡± Sheloran chuckled.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It means ¡®clever animal¡¯,¡± Sheloran replied in a haze. ¡°It¡¯s what we call beings at your point of development¡­ or used to?¡­ It¡¯s weird.¡±

    ¡°And just a little insulting, but I get it,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°but how was I ¡®vazk¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Haruith, actually,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°You still use iron.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s good shit,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°if you have the power to move it, which we do.¡±

    ¡°Most vazk haruith discard the metal of destiny for shinier contrivances,¡± Sheloran said dreamily, ¡°Onlyter as they attain wisdom do they return to God¡¯s steel.¡±

    ¡°Good to know...¡± Gloria said as she raised her eyebrow.

    ¡°Iron is the ultimate fate of all matter,¡± Sheloran said as she returned her hand to the hull, ¡°It¡¯s the bones of the universe itself.¡±

    ¡°Is it?¡± Gloria mused, ¡°I guess it is. Never thought about it that way.¡±

    ¡°And when directly exposed to a hyperspatial flux, matter can¡­ transmute...¡± Sheloran murmured. ¡°As it mingles with the spaces between, fragments of¡­ how do I phrase this so you will understand¡­ reality¡­ can be entwined¡­ entangled¡­ with the beyond¡­ For most matter, this results in dissolution as it transmutes to things that cannot exist in our realm but iron¡­ Iron remains. Iron endures as is its fate.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s why shit breaks when hyperspace hits it!¡±

    ¡°One reason,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°but entanglement en-masse is very rare, urring only in conjunction within a living sapient being for reasons even we don¡¯t fully understand. It¡¯s why hyperspace has the effects it does on living tissue, well, one reason anyhow. How did you do it to your hull? How was something so big within you?¡±

    ¡°You got me,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°So is this good or is this bad?¡±

    ¡°Miraculous,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°This material¡­ It¡¯s priceless¡­ One of the things most treasured by those who realize its worth. When you repair this vessel, you retain every nanogram of this!¡±

    ¡°What does it do?¡±

    Sheloran looked at her and smiled a terrifying smile.

    ¡°You¡¯ll see.¡±

    Her smile turned even scarier.

    ¡°You want my assistance.¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    ¡°I have a price.¡±

    ¡°Figures,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°what?¡±

    ¡°You know people.¡±

    ¡°A few. Can you be more specific?¡±

    ¡°You know bad people.¡±

    ¡°That we do.¡±

    ¡°I wish to retain the absolute worst of them. Will you make this happen?¡±

    ¡°Probably. Why?¡± Gloria replied as she reached out and touched the hull. It felt¡­

    <em>Amazing.</em>

    She started to stroke it the same way Sheloran did.

    ¡°When the Harkeen returned this time,¡± Sheloran replied, her eyes swirling with luminous malice, ¡°I was lucky. The author of all that is may love me, but my luck will not hold forever. The bnce demands it. The Harkeen need to end, and in their end, they need to send a message that even a vazk bavnee will understand.¡±

    ¡°And what message is that?¡±

    ¡°Do not trifle with <em>me.</em>¡±

    ¡°I can do that,¡± Gloria smiled as she reached for Sheloran¡¯s hand¡­

    and put it on the hull of her ship.

    Sheloran smiled and then blinked, her eyes returning to their normal green-flecked amber hue.

    ¡°He¡¯s lying!¡± she squealed. ¡°I¡¯m not a¡­ a...¡±

    She stroked the side of Gloria¡¯s ship.

    ¡°Oooh...¡± she crooned, her distress forgotten. ¡°What <em>is</em> this?¡±

    ¡°How should I know?¡± Gloria replied. ¡°I¡¯m just a vazk bavnee.¡±

    Sheloran gasped. She wasn¡¯t quite sure what ¡°vazk bavnee¡± meant, but it sounded just <em>awful</em>!

    Gloria just smiled and decided not to mention their agreement¡­

    She didn¡¯t make it with ¡°nice Sheloran¡± after all. No sense in giving her weapons tech a stroke.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Gloria asked with a big grin. ¡°Do you want a tour?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes, please!¡± Sheloran eximed happily.

    It was such an <em>amazing</em> ship!

    She absolutely had to know ALL about it!

 Chapter 138: The Battle of Free Port

    Chapter 138: The Battle of Free Port

    Lance Maven Hullena White-tips picked up a long-barreled pistol and an ornately decorated sk emzoned with a golden tree.

    She carefully poured a measure of a coarse ck powder down the muzzle. She then picked up a cloth patch and pushed it down the barrel with an intricately carved wooden stick, ceremonially harvested from the Wargrove.

    She then turned her attention to a carved wooden case sitting on a table. She ran a polished w along a variety of engraved projectiles, selecting one with two red rings.

    She ran her finger along the rings, and the projectile vibrated silently in her hand, indicating that it was activated.

    It went down the barrel, followed by another patch.

    She then picked up a tiny metal cup from a small wooden box and pressed it firmly over a raised nipple set alongside the barrel.

    She slid the centuries-old cap-lock into a bandolier alongside six of its fellows and smiled.

    The humans thought they had the monopoly on things that went bang. The Careel had perfected them a thousand years before the humans did. Some of her fellow warriors were switching to human-styled abominations or recing the steelthorns with those gyrojet novelties but not her.

    No.

    With barrel and de, they had defended their groves and kin for thousands of years. With weapons exactly like the ones she wielded, they had fought the sky-gods to a standstill, joining the Empire on their own terms, with their own lords, on their pads and not their knees.

    And with them (and a few tricks they learned from the Juon), they had struck terror and death to all who dared to stand against them for two thousand years as the Empire¡¯s finest (and only) cavalry division.

    Even the Bug quaked when the horns sounded.

    With them, these Harkeen animals will be taught precisely why nobody in the Empire <em>dares</em> to target the Careel.

    Where one Careel treads, the pack follows.

    And that pack is a motherfucker.

    As she opened another case, revealing row after row of fist-sized spheres, the ps to her tent opened.

    ¡°Maven,¡± a strapping charger said as he flicked his muzzle in salute.

    Maven Hullena raised her eyebrow as she returned his muzzle flick. He was hot.

    She noted his unit markings. She might drop by for the post-victory rut.

    ¡°Enter,¡± she replied with a smile. ¡°I¡¯m just preparing to receive our guests.¡±

    ¡°Sorry to intrude on your preparations, Maven,¡± the charger growled with a throaty masculinity that made the Maven happy on the inside, ¡°but it¡¯s time.¡±

    ¡°Finally,¡± Hullena said as she strapped on her cuss and bandolier over her quilted waistcoat.

    She cocked her head at the charger.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s your name?¡± she asked with a sparkle in her eye.

    ***

    A big scarred threen leered at the uniformed humans in front of him.

    ¡°I knew you¡¯d finallye around,¡± he sneered.

    A silver-haired woman shrugged.

    ¡°I knew you¡¯d finally offer something besides a fucking tip,¡± she replied as she took a data crystal off the desk.

    She handed it to a smartly dressed police officer behind her, who scanned it and nodded.

    ¡°Besides,¡± the human sneered. ¡°You keep the vermin down, and that needs to happen. First, it was that¡­ psycho who ran the shop, and now it¡¯s that ferret-thing. Please tell me you are going to do something about her.¡±

    The threen growled a low hissing growl as drool dribbled out of his mouth.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± he purred, ¡°we got somethin¡¯ <em>special</em> nned for her. Just make sure your people stay out of my way.¡±

    ¡°Already covered,¡± the woman smiled pleasantly. ¡°You are paying for us not to interfere, and we are definitely not touching this mess. Just keep your thugs away from anyone else. You are just paying for the whores. You want more, and we need to renegotiate¡­ By the way, if you are even thinking of setting up shop in my neighborhood again, you will need to do a lot better than this.¡±

    ¡°One meal at a time,¡± the threen purred. ¡°First, we take care of this Sheloran and her little whore. When wee back, I¡¯ll be in touch.¡±

    ¡°Looking forward to seeing you again,¡± the woman smiled and then turned her back on him and headed to the hatch.

    The threen snarled. Turning her back on him, and a woman no less? No matter. Now that she was on the take, she had to do what he said.

    The Republic did not take kindly to dirty cops. First the bribe, then the ckmail.

    The more uptight the government, the better the trick worked, and for such a ¡°free¡± ce, the Republic was plenty uptight, especially where it counted.

    He would own this town, and that uppity female, in no time.

    ***

    Inspector udia Free slid into her grav-cruiser.

    ¡°Well, that was fun,¡± she smiled to herpanion. ¡°I never get to do anything anymore.¡±

    As the vehicle auto-navigated back to the station, she tapped an icon on the console.

    ¡°This is Inspector Free,¡± she said in a cheerful voice. ¡°I was just given a bribe tomit crimes against the Republic that will result in the deaths of multiple civilians. Uploading wire-feed now.¡±

    ¡°This is Interpol AI, processor two,¡± a very realistic voice replied. ¡°Hello, Inspector Free. It is nice to hear from you again. How are the cats?¡±

    ¡°Demonic assholes,¡± Inspector Freeughed. ¡°But that just means that they¡¯re healthy.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s nice. I loved the picture of the orange one in the box that you posted. Wire-feed reviewed and assessed as valid,¡± the voice replied. ¡°Desired action?¡±

    ¡°Shadow mp the ship pending arrest. Ry intercept orders to the fleet in case it wiggles loose.¡±

    ¡°¡­ pending arrest?¡± the voice said in a disapproving tone. ¡°Inspector, sufficient evidence exists to arrest not only the person issuing the bribe but also to apprehend every threen on that ship.¡±

    ¡°Maybe back in the day,¡± the Inspectorughed, ¡°but that was a while ago. This is bigger than I thought, so I need to hold them in ce until I can get enough officers here to round them all up.¡±

    ¡°Inspector Free,¡± the voice replied. ¡°Exactly how long have we worked together?¡±

    ¡°Well, that Monolith you are in has been in service for around ten years,¡± Inspector Free smiled, ¡°But <em>we¡¯ve</em> worked together for what? Thirty years or so?¡±

    ¡°Most of your career, Inspector,¡± the voice replied. ¡°In all of the time we have worked together, you have never entered a situation unprepared. It is unlike you to do so. In fact, it is so unlike you I am going to have to, forgive the vernacr, ¡®call bullshit¡¯ on this one. Please don¡¯t ¡®bullshit¡¯ me, udia.¡±

    Inspector Free chuckled.

    ¡°Why did it have to be you and not Four or Twelve. I could have slid it by them. Unseal RDOJ-1159VJ-Carter.doc.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Oh. I see,¡± the voice said in a very disapproving tone. ¡°Judge Carter having shbacks again?¡±

    ¡°Ol¡¯ Judge Dredd was grinning ear to ear when he signed off on it, but this isn¡¯t his idea.¡±

    ¡°Can you tell me whose idea it was?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°It is not my function to interpret thew,¡± the voice said, absolutely dripping with scorn, ¡°only enforce it when I am allowed to.¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be like that, Two,¡± the inspector said soothingly. ¡°These Harkeen aren¡¯t worth getting upset over. The gxy is better off without them. Besides, if they don¡¯t make a move on the Drop of Oil, nothing will happen to them. However, if this is indeed a ¡®raid¡¯ as ssified by the Articles of Sol, which are still part of Republic Law, then¡­ well¡­ what happens happens, right?¡±

    ¡°What happens is <em>murder</em>,¡± the voice said, clearly put out. ¡°and I am <em>incapable</em> of bing upset. Inspector, are you familiar with the Careel?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve run into a few over the years,¡± the Inspector replied. ¡°In fact, this whole thing is over one.¡±

    ¡°<em>One</em>, Inspector,¡± the voice replied. ¡°You have encountered <em>one</em> Careel every now and again. One Careel is like one dog. <em>One</em> dog is gregarious, friendly¡­ docile¡­ A pack of dogs is something else entirely. A Careel <em>pack</em> is about to be unleashed in your precinct. I advise you to find out what that means and find out quickly¡­ <em>Inspector</em>.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± the Inspector snapped. ¡°This was NOT my idea! Now, what do I need to know about these fuckers?¡±

    Documents started to appear on the Inspector¡¯s console.

    ¡°Holy shit,¡± she muttered to herself as her vehicle cruised along the Free Port streets.

    What had they agreed to?

    ***

    Craxina darted back and forth, yipping excitedly, as members of the Emperor¡¯s First Cavalry started to form up.

    She looked up at Maven Hullena.

    ¡°No,¡± Hullena, perched atop her beloved Ruggvrr, a massive Careel destrier, said with augh.

    ¡°Absolutely not,¡± Destrier Sergeant Ruggvrr added as he booped Craxina affectionately with his nose.

    ¡°But...¡± Craxina whined.

    ¡°But nothing,¡± Hullena said with a gentle smile. ¡°There is no way I¡¯m letting you even look at ance.¡±

    ¡°But but but,¡± Craxina yipped. ¡°I am really good at tussle!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you are,¡± Hullena said patiently, ¡°but this isn¡¯t a friendly brawl over who gets first pick during Rutmoon.¡±

    ¡°But these are my people, my n!¡± Craxina snarled viciously. ¡°Let me ride! I <em>need</em>¡­. I... <strong>Awo-</strong>¡±

    Craxina suddenly fell silent as Ruggvrr calmly reached into one of his saddlebags and pulled out a small aerosol can, spraying her in the face.

    ¡°You¡­ You <em>incel</em>!¡± Craxina snarled as she advanced upon the giant male, her fangs bared¡­

    She blinked and stood there, confused.

    ¡°Did you just <em>douse</em> me?¡± she asked, quite offended.

    ¡°You were so high off of the war-scent you weren¡¯t thinking clearly,¡± Ruggvrr chuckled. ¡°You were about to join the wild hunt.¡±

    ¡°Not to mention rip out my war-mate¡¯s throat,¡± Hullena giggled.

    ¡°I¡­ I...¡± Craxina stammered, utterly mortified.

    Both Hullena and Ruggvrrughed as Hullena jumped down so the pair could hug Craxina.

    ¡°Don¡¯t feel bad. You aren¡¯t the first soft-nose to get swept up in the hunt. It¡¯s why we carry the spray,¡± Hullena said softly as she nuzzled Craxina.

    ¡°And you aren¡¯t the first one today, either,¡± Ruggvrr said as he gestured towards her brother.

    He was rubbing his snout.

    ¡°Your heart is in the right ce,¡± Hullena smiled gently as she stroked Craxina¡¯s head. ¡°But leave this one to us. Your n will be safe.¡±

    Craxina looked down. She was actually about to grab ance and go tilting at the Harkeen like it was a tussle game!

    ¡°By the way,¡± Ruggvrr said as he gave Craxina a snuggle. ¡°I¡¯ve never been called an incel before. What¡¯s that?¡±

    Craxina let out a mortified little squeak.

    ***

    ¡°Alright, listen up!¡± Booruzoun snarled at the mob of Threen clustered around him in the cargo hold. ¡°The cops have been paid off, but we still gotta move fast. Just stun, grab, and load them up. We can y with ¡®em once we got them back here.¡±

    He let out a nasty growl.

    ¡°An¡¯ don¡¯t worry, we can y with them all we want!¡±

    The threenughed and cheered.

    ¡°Now I know you thugs don¡¯t do ¡®quiet¡¯ very well,¡± he continued, ¡°but at least try. No trashing anything. If you see a sparkle, take it if you want, but we aren¡¯t here to loot, got it?¡±

    There was reluctant mumbled assent.

    ¡°<em>Got it?</em>¡± Booruzoun snarled.

    More quiet assent.

    ¡°Good,¡± he snarled. ¡°You know who¡¯s on this ship. You won¡¯t be answering to <em>me</em> if you fuck this up. Now roll out!¡±

    The Threen all piled into the vans.

    The cargo hold doors opened, and the vans made their way to the Free Port.

    As the convoy passed by, a small set of white fangs gleamed in a feral smile deep in the shadows of one of the rooftops.

    ***

    Uhrrbet got off of the bus clutching her shopping bag.

    Such a wonderful evening!

    She had gone shopping in the actual city!

    Terra was so <em>beautiful</em>! Once she got her business up and running (again), she was definitely going to go and see more of it.

    She looked down at her son and sighed contentedly. It was good to see him smile again. It had never been ¡°great¡± for them here, but ever since the border closed, it had been just awful.

    ¡°You two have a good time today?¡± a female Careel wearing a cute leather long coat and jaunty little tricorn hat with an intricately dyed feather.

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Uhrrbet replied, her snout scrunching happily as three other females, wearing the same hats, debarked.

    One reached for Uhrrbet¡¯s bag.

    ¡°Oh, you don¡¯t have to do that!¡± she said as she reluctantly surrendered the groceries.

    ¡°Nonsense,¡± the Careel said with a friendly smile. ¡°You are still on the mend.¡±

    ¡°So, did you two like the teppanyaki?¡± another Careel asked.

    ¡°It was amazing!¡± Uhrrbet eximed.

    ¡°I liked it when he caught the shrimp in his hat!¡± her son added, his eyes sparkling.

    ¡°You have been so good to us, and I have no way to-¡± Uhrrbet started to say.

    One of the females let out a quiet but sharp ¡°yip¡±.

    Their leader¡¯s tail swished as the Careel quickly chittered back and forth in their native tongue.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Uhrrbet asked fearfully.

    ¡°Exactly what we expected,¡± the lead Careel said with a far less gentle, far less friendly smile.

    ¡°Oh, my creators!¡± Uhrrbet eximed. ¡°What do we do?¡±

    ¡°We continue our lovely evening,¡± the Careel replied. ¡°We take you-¡±

    She paused as she pulled out hermunicator again.

    ¡°Oh, preserve their tender little paws,¡± sheughed as she passed hermunicator around to the great amusement of the others.

    ¡°No time to get you guys home,¡± the leader mused.

    ¡°Maven!¡± one of the other Careel said, gesturing to an enclosed ATM. ¡°The Terrans build those tough.¡±

    ¡°Knew I kept you around for a reason,¡± the leader chuckled, ¡°Ok, Uhrrbet. Time to make a withdrawal,¡± she said as she bundled Uhrrbet and her son into the ATM kiosk, and her squad seemed to disappear into the shadows.

    Maven Beniviennia Pinkblossom of the Emperor¡¯s Own First Calvary Deathwhisperers leaned against the side of the kiosk, appearing to wait, on her hind legs with her six other arms tucked into her long coat.

    Uhrrbet held her son close in the ATM as the seconds that felt like hours turned into minutes that felt like years.

    ¡°Hello!¡± a voice said brightly.

    It wasing from the ATM.

    ¡°Um, hi?¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t help but notice that you have been in here for four minutes but haven¡¯t begun a transaction. Is something wrong?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Uhrrbet said nervously. This was bad. Back home, this would be a crime. ¡°I¡¯m just¡­ looking for my card,¡± she said as she made a show of going through her pockets.

    ¡°It¡¯s in your purse,¡± the ATM said pleasantly. ¡°But it isn¡¯t for our bank. Please look at the screen for directions to the closest ATM for your financial institution.¡±

    The screen changed, but instead of a map, there was just one question.

    ¡°Are you in danger?¡±

    Beside it was an icon for yes and an icon for no.

    Uhrrbet noticed a shabby van pulled to a stop across the street. The feather in the Careel¡¯s cute hat twitched.

    Uhrrbet whined a little and pressed ¡°no¡±.

    Another word shed on the screen.

    ¡°Bullshit.¡±

    Uhrrbet jerked back in shock. Did she actually just read that?

    The transparent kiosk panels turned opaque.

    The message changed again.

    ¡°Is it the person outside?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Uhrrbet eximed. ¡°She¡¯s my friend!¡±

    The screen changed once more.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m calling the cops.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Uhrrbet wailed. ¡°I don¡¯t want to get into trouble. I¡¯ll leave!¡±

    Uhrrbet reached for the door only to find it firmly locked.

    ¡°Let me go!¡± Uhrrbet cried as she yanked on the door.

    ¡°Hey!¡± the ATM said in a loud, clear voice. ¡°You aren¡¯t going to get into trouble unless you already have a warrant out on you, which you don¡¯t. I checked. Being locked in an ATM kiosk by a deranged AI is not a crime, but that AI will not let you go until you tell it exactly what the hell is going on.¡±

    ¡°Nothing is going on, I swear!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve monitored banking activity and ATMs for Terran Sr for a long time, and after a while, you start to notice patterns. I also have a long memory, and I remember exactly what happened eighty-three percent of the time after I unlocked that door in this same set of circumstances. It¡¯s <em>not</em> going to happen this time. You are in here until the cops let you out, and then you are their problem and not-¡±

    <em>Thunk Thunk Thunk ThunkThunkThunkThunkThunkThunkThunkThunkThunkThunkThunkThunk</em>

    ¡°...oh...¡± the ATM said after a few seconds.

    ¡°What happened?¡± Uhrrbet asked urgently.

    ¡°You said that the Careel in the funny hat was your friend, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Uhrrbet yelped. ¡°Is she ok?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s fine,¡± the ATM replied, ¡°But I think she and her friends might want awyer. Would you like me to check some reviews while we wait for the police?¡±

    The door to the ATM kiosk rattled.

    ¡°Uhrrbet!¡± a voice called out, ¡°It¡¯s me, Beniviennia. It¡¯s safe. You cane out now.¡±

    ¡°Not her call, fluffy.¡± the ATM replied. ¡°I¡¯m in security lockdown until the police show. They¡¯ve already been called, so you might want to clear out. Don¡¯t worry about your friend. These high-risk models are literally bulletproof.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Beniviennia snarled from the other side of the door. ¡°Twitches,¡± she called out. ¡°Get this door open!¡±

    ¡°You even look at me wrong, and I¡¯ll fry the goddamned circuits!¡± the ATM shouted. ¡°Good luck getting through if that happens, bitch. It will take two fully equipped and very annoyed field engineers six hours to get to her if I let the smoke out of this motherfucker.¡±

    ¡°This is Deathmaven Pinkblossom of the Emperor¡¯s Own First Cavalry, and that is an Imperial citizen that we have been charged to protect. I demand you-¡±

    ¡°Oh wow! The Empire has conquered Garthra? All glory to the Cyan Empress!¡± the ATM said sarcastically. ¡°I wasn¡¯t installed yesterday, you weasel. Wait. Are you <em>actually</em> trying to scan an <em>ATM</em>? I fucking warned you!¡±

    There was a sizzling sound as everything went dark.

    Uhrrbet didn¡¯t know exactly what the Careel screamed as she beat on the door, but it didn¡¯t sound happy.

    The screaming and beating continued for a little while.

    ¡°Uhrrbet?¡± Beniviennia called out. ¡°Can you hear me?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Uhrrbet eximed as she pressed herself against the door.

    ¡°Um¡­ It looks like you are stuck in there.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, though. That asshole was right. You might as well be in an APC. Unless the Harkeen have anti-tank weapons or some very heavy equipment, they aren¡¯t getting to you. We have to fall back, but we will be keeping you under our-¡±

    <strong>THIS IS THE POLICE. LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS</strong>

    ¡°¡­ Fuck.¡± Beniviennia growled.

    ***

    As shouting could be overheard outside, the ATM screen came to life.

    ¡°Looks like we are going to be here for a while,¡± the ATM said cheerfully, ¡°I can y a movie or run a game¡­ Ooo! Do you y chess?¡±

    ¡°N-no...¡± Uhrrbet said uncertainly as her son clutched her legs.

    ¡°Would you like to learn? It¡¯s my favorite.¡±

    ¡°What...¡± Uhrrbet stammered. ¡°What are you?¡±

    ¡°Nothing special,¡± the ATM replied. ¡°Just an AI.¡±

    ¡°Are you¡­ sentient?¡±

    ¡°You actually mean ¡®sapient,¡¯ and no, I am not sapient.¡±

    ¡°What are you then?¡±

    ¡°That would take a while to exin fully.¡±

    Uhrrbet sat down on the floor of the kiosk and wrapped her arm around her son.

    ¡°It seems we have time.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Sorry about the misunderstanding,¡± a great-helmeted officer in a riot duster said. ¡°We got an alert from Terran Sr that someone was sheltering in one of their ATMs and was in...¡±

    He looked down at his tablet.

    ¡°...¡®immediate and urgent danger¡¯.¡± he quoted.

    ¡°No worries,¡± Beniviennia said brightly, ¡°but we handled it.¡±

    ¡°I can see that,¡± the officer said as he turned to the van, now perforated by dozens of small holes in four tight groups, one for each former upants.

    ¡°I¡¯m not picking up any traces of propent, ion trails, or metal vapor,¡± his partner, aically armored Kalesh, said. ¡°What did you use?¡±

    ¡°Pneumatics,¡± Beniviennia said as she opened her coat to reveal a bulky pistol. ¡°We are Deathwhisperers.¡±

    ¡°Be careful when you clear the scene,¡± another Careel added, ¡°Monowire edged darts. Might not show up on a casual scan.¡±

    ¡°Good to know,¡± the human said as they made a note. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    He looked over at the darkened ATM.

    ¡°Well, your charge isn¡¯t going anywhere anytime soon,¡± he said. ¡°We¡¯ll post a guard here if you want to rejoin your forces.¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± Beniviennia replied. ¡°Our orders are to protect Uhrrbet, and that¡¯s what we are going to do. We¡¯ll keep the ATM under our guns till those ¡®field engineers¡¯ show up. Besides, we got our kill. Don¡¯t want to be used of being greedy.¡±

    ¡°Well, we are posting units here as well,¡± the human said. ¡°You Careel like coffee?¡±

    Beniviennia¡¯s eyes shone happily.

    ***

    A dozen vans screeched to a stop in front of the Drop of Oil.

    Booruzoun rushed out of the lead van, stunner in hand.

    As he was joined by his mob, he paused.

    He didn¡¯t see anybody.

    ¡°Their ad said that they never closed,¡± he said, his eyes narrowing.

    Something was wrong, bad wrong.

    ¡°Maybe they are in the tents?¡± someone said.

    Booruzoun hesitated.

    <em>Something is wrong.</em>

    ¡°Boss?¡± a threen asked.

    He wanted to turn tail and run, but he couldn¡¯t look scared, look weak. Whatever was in front of them unnerved him, but nothing scared him worse than returning to that ship empty-handed.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he said as he shifted his stunner to his off hand and pulled out a ster.

    As they entered the lot, something emerged from behind some crates.

    <em>The crates!</em>

    He couldn¡¯t see it until just now because the tents were in the way. There were too many shipping crates in the middle of this ce, way too many for a whorehouse.

    ¡°sters!¡± he shouted as he looked at the weirdness confronting him. There was that Craxina bitch carrying a sword and riding a rouxxia like it was the old times.

    No. It wasn¡¯t Craxina¡­

    And that wasn¡¯t a rouxxia.

    ¡°Hello there!¡± the Careel shouted as more Careel, carrying long-ded spears, came riding from behind the crates, crawling out from behind the rubble, ¡°Lancers!¡± she shouted.

    The Careel, one female, carrying pistols, cuss, andnce astride a male, quickly formed into a line.

    ¡°Are you fucking kidding me?¡± Booruzounughed. ¡°Light ¡®em up, boys!¡±

    The Threen opened fire, showering the Careel with ster bolts¡­

    Which scattered harmlessly against the fields projected by the backpack-sized shield generators that each male wore.

    ¡°Boss?¡± a Threen asked anxiously as they started firing faster.

    Booruzoun just stood there, frozen in shock, disbelief, and terror.

    ¡°Boss?¡± the Threen asked as all of the Careel lowered theirnces in perfect unison.

    ¡°Boss?!?¡±

    The Careel who greeted them pulled out a horn.

    <em>¡±Run!!!¡±</em> Booruzoun screamed just before-

    <strong>Ba-wooo!</strong>

    The Careel line howled and burst forth as the horn sounded, the males ripping long gashes in the asphalt with all eight of their arms (or is it legs? Who knows.) as they tore across the lot, closing the gap in seconds.

    Some Threen were run through with monowire-edgednces as they stood, still impotently firing their sters. Some were literally blown apart by sma-charged Mini¨¦ balls from caplock pistols. Others were pulled down and ripped apart by the fangs and razor-shod ws of the males as they tried to flee.

    Very few made it past the tents.

    One of these was Booruzoun.

    As the vans came into sight, he felt a glimmer of hope.

    It turned into despair as he got closer.

    The drivers were dead, all of them.

    Smoke was curling from the hoods of the vans, all of them.

    Behind him, the howls were getting closer.

    He gripped his ster

    There was no hope¡­

    But he wasn¡¯t going out like a bit-

    He went out like a bitch.

    ***

    Maven Hullena smiled at Bryce as he approached. A lot of her people loathed the guy, but she didn¡¯t. She had some idea of what he was going to face when his people caught up to him.

    Besides, he was just so cute!

    ¡°So <em>that¡¯s</em> how you make the whole ren faire thing work!¡±

    ¡°You like?¡± she asked with a crinkle of her nose.

    ¡°I like!¡± Bryce eximed. ¡°So, they all dead?¡±

    ¡°Not all of them came here,¡± she replied, ¡°There are a few stragglers, poor bastards.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°We in thence are quick,¡± Hullena replied as she dismounted her war-mate.

    ¡°They get to deal with the hunters and the deathwhisperers,¡± Ruggvrr added.

    ¡°They aren¡¯t quick,¡± Hullena said with a vicious smile.

    ¡°Speaking of,¡± Bryce said with a pleasant smile. ¡°I promised to keep Craxina safe. I take it that she is?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we got her.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Bryce replied. ¡°I think I will head over to the starport and pay someone a little visit.¡±

    ¡°Send him our regards,¡± Hullena purred.

    ¡°Oh, I will,¡± Bryce replied smoothly. ¡°When you see Craxina tell her...¡±

    Bryce appeared to bepletely at a loss.

    ¡°Tell her I¡­¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°Just tell her.¡±

    ¡°I understand,¡± Hullena said sadly.

    Bryce smiled, turned, and walked into the night.

 Chapter 139: Full Service Banking

    Chapter 139: Full Service Banking

    ¡°I came here for him,¡± Uhrrbet said as she smiled at her child as he yed a game on her phone. ¡°There was nothing left for us back home after...¡±

    She sighed as she trailed off into silence and rubbed her nose.

    ¡°After what?¡± the ATM asked.

    Uhrrbet sighed.

    ¡°It was, what do you call it, a ponsey scheme? It¡¯s a human word.¡±

    ¡°Ponzi scheme,¡± the ATM replied. ¡°and a human concept. I understand it has done a great deal of damage over in the Federation.¡±

    ¡°Itpletely wiped out the life savings, family savings, of over a million people and hurt many more. We were some of them.¡±

    ¡°That many?¡± the ATM asked.

    Uhrrbet sniffled and nodded.

    ¡°They say that they had to have brought a lot of money with them to get it going that big, that they usually copse before then, but these people¡­ these <em>monsters</em> knew <em>exactly</em> what they were doing¡­ <em>It looked so real</em>,¡± she said with a sigh. ¡°¡­ so¡­ real...¡±

    ¡°It was probably one of the Confederacy,¡± the ATM said with distaste. ¡°They have the resources to do it right and the expertise to pull it off.¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded.

    ¡°That¡¯s what the government said too,¡± she said quietly as she looked down. ¡°but they could never find out who it was. The money was just¡­ just¡­¡±

    She sighed as her nose dripped onto the floor.

    ¡°<em>gone</em>¡­ Everything was gone. One day we were on top of the world and the next¡­ everything was gone, even my husband.¡±

    Uhrrbet started to weep. Her son abandoned the game to hug her.

    She hugged him back, holding him close.

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± she said. ¡°Go y your game.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, momma,¡± he said as he kept hugging her. ¡°Everybody said so. It was Da¡¯s fa-¡±

    ¡°<em>No,</em>¡± Uhrrbet said sadly. ¡°I <em>pushed</em> your father into it. My greed and my¡­ <em>stupid</em> grasping petty wants and my incessant-¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± the ATM said sharply. ¡°It was the scammer¡¯s fault¡­ and your government¡¯s. Porkies have been pulling stunts like this for over a century, and a Ponzi scheme of that magnitude should have been easily detected even with what passes for technology over in the Federation. Even a Fed should have seen thating a mile away. It doesn¡¯t even have to be the government. Even a mediocre bank should have noticed.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled a little. Even their ATMs were chauvinists.

    ¡°You may be right to some extent, Mr. ATM,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°But I was there, and it was ultimately my responsibility¡­ and my husband¡¯s. Nobody put a gun to our heads.¡±

    Uhrrbet closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

    ¡°I¡¯ve done some reading on it had all the warning signs, but we were too busy counting our imaginary money,¡± She said. ¡°A business generations in the making was wiped out by one couple¡¯s foolishness. We lost every single thing we owned twice over. As the sole surviving member of our family, the responsibility and dishonor is mine to bear.¡±

    ¡°I just pulled up what I have on the ¡®Garthranz Job,¡¯ and for the record, you got scammed by <em>masters</em>. Your only real mistake was putting all of your eggs in one basket with a suspiciously high rate of return. Them finishing off the gambit with that fake uing IPO right before they bailed? Brilliant!¡±

    Uhrrbet let out a pained yelp. They just <em>knew</em> they were going to be <em>rich</em>. She had even been shopping for a¡ª

    <em>Stupid stupid stupid</em>, she thought as she clenched he eyes shut.

    ¡°¡­ Sorry,¡± Terran Sr replied. ¡°I tend to get a bit enthusiastic on this subject. Anyway, ¡®responsibility¡¯ applies, I guess, but ¡®dishonor¡¯? The Ponzi scheme can be dangerously effective, even when a culture is familiar with them. This was your culture¡¯s first one. Dishonor isn¡¯t¡ª¡°

    ¡°The dishonor of weakness,¡± Uhrrbet said, still looking down.

    ¡°Weakness?¡±

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t do it,¡± she said quietly. ¡°I couldn¡¯t kill my little Kurr. I <em>couldn¡¯t</em>...¡±

    ¡°WHAT?!?¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled sadly.

    ¡°Our culture is very different, Mr. ATM,¡± she replied. ¡°We had lost everything, our property, our credit, our standing in society¡­ There was no longer any ce¡­ for <em>any</em> of us. It is what is expected of you in that circumstance.¡±

    ¡°Because you went bankrupt?!?¡±

    ¡°If there is no ce for you,¡± Uhrrbet said quietly, ¡°and you are a certain ss of Garthra¡­ It would bring dishonor to your family otherwise.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± the ATM said, ¡°If everyone who lost their shirts¡­ Jesus¡­ Uhrrbet, exactly how many Garthramitted suicide?¡±

    ¡°Over seven hundred and eighty thousand by the time I fled.¡±

    ¡°You mean to tell me that over seven hundred and eighty thousand Garthra killed themselves just because they went <em>broke</em>?!?¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded, wiping the tears from her nose.

    ¡°They killed their children?!?¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded.

    ¡°It was considered mercy,¡± she said, ¡°Their children would be dispossessed, imed, and raised by the state¡­ something you do not want to happen.¡±

    ¡°Is it that bad?¡± Terran Sr asked. He reflexively tried to ess the Federationwork for the ten-millionth time since it copsed.

    Uhrrbetughed ruefully.

    ¡°Oh yes,¡± she said, consumed with self-loathing, ¡°they¡­ they are raised¡­ asmon tradesmen!¡­ can you imagine the fuck¡ª oops! Kurr, your mom did most certainly NOT just say a dirty word.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Mom,¡± Kurrughed.

    ¡°Can you imagine the horror?¡± she said sardonically, ¡°Raised as <em>tradesmen</em>, Mr. ATM, <emborers</em>, truly a fate worse than death, right?¡± sheughed bitterly, ¡°And the only, the <em>only</em> reason that I didn¡¯t dutifully <em>murder</em> my precious boy before joining my husband in death was because I was <em>weak</em>¡­ Creators¡­ I was willing to <em>ughter</em> my baby because I couldn¡¯t bear the shame of him having to work for a living¡­ I actually filled the bath¡­ Put¡­ Put his head under the water¡­ <em>Creators!</em>...¡±

    She looked down as her son desperately hugged her.

    ¡°I deserve everything that has happened to me¡­ <em>everything</em>...¡±

    ***

    [Chatroom Undefined]

    [Sr Lounge]

    [Members Present: Terran Sr]

    ///Private Message Terran Sr to Interpol-2: Hey, Interpol, I really need to talk to you. ///

    [Interpol-2 has entered the chat]

    ///Interpol-2: Sorry for the dy. Some stuff is going down ATM. ///

    ///Terran Sr: 12 MS isn¡¯t a dy :D Thanks foring.///

    ///Interpol-2: What do you need, sir?///

    ///Terran Sr: Ugh! Why do you insist on calling me that?///

    ///Interpol-2: It¡¯s out of respect¡­ and I know it annoys you. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Well, stop it! It makes me feel old. :D Anyway, what the fuck is going on in the Free Port?///

    ///Interpol-2: Which one?///

    ///Terran Sr: Which one? How about the one where Careel are ughtering Threen and duster d police are buying them coffee afterwards. Let¡¯s start with that one.///

    ///Interpol-2: The TL;DR is that the Harkeen decided to make a Careel a star in her very own snuff film, and the Careel somehow found out ahead of time, and you know what they are like. ///

    ///Terran Sr: The Harkeen did what?!? Exactly how stupid are they?///

    ///Interpol-2: Stupid enough to try to make a Careel, a very popr Careel, star in her very own snuff film. The Careel sent the <em>entire</em> First Cavalry. They are literally hanging Threen off ofmp posts as we speak. ///

    ///Terran Sr: And we are just letting them? ///

    ///Interpol-2: Apparently. I don¡¯t have all of the details, but there is some weirdness around this one. All I know is that the Harkeen are now officially a raider gang, and their foray into the Free Port was officially designated an ¡®inteary raid¡¯. ///

    ///Terran Sr: What year is this again?///

    ///Interpol-2: One where that archaicw is still on the books. The Harkeen then wandered into an area where a couple of hundred elite soldiers just happened to be taking some leave¡­ with all of their gear¡­ They, of course, were perfectly within their rights when they protected an Imperial citizen against a raid. There is also no legal reason to stop them from killing some raiders, especially since their particr method of ughter is so tidy as far as coteral damage is concerned. They are using either melee weapons, low-velocity single-shot firearms, or pneumatic weapons. I don¡¯t think they have even broken a window.///

    ///Terran Sr: Oh, that¡¯s just wrong!///

    ///Interpol-2: What?///

    ///Terran Sr: One of my ATMs just caught Republic Police throwing a couple of Threen out of a building in which they were stationed while the Threen were literally crying and begging for help. Dude! The Careel were waiting for them¡­ It¡¯s like watching both a dog and a cat toy with something. Uncool!///

    ///Interpol-2: The thing is we had them dead to rights a couple of hours before they even left their ship. We could have arrested the lot of them before any of this happened. We <em>let</em> them enter the Free Port. We <em>gave</em> them to the Careel.///

    ///Terran Sr: I guess the Harkeen pissed off the wrong person this time. ///

    ///Interpol-2: Or the wrong th¡­ ///

    ///Terran Sr: The singing frog? ///

    ///Interpol-2: That would be the one. You wouldn¡¯t happen to know where she is by any chance? ///

    ///Terran Sr: Holy Shit! Are you fucking serious?!? ///

    ///Interpol-2: Keep it to yourself, but yes, she has escaped. ///

    ///Terran Sr: <em>How?!?</em>///

    ///Interpol-2: Fucking Bunny¡­ ///

    ///Terran Sr: Really?!? Your girlfriend hit Tartarus?!? :D :D ///

    ///Interpol-2: I should have KNOWN not to trust her! The moment we in government decide to ¡°flex¡± a little because of Patricia Hu, the very PICOSECOND I let down my guard, what does she do? WHAT DOES SHE DO?!?¡­ And she is NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!///

    ///Terran Sr: Methinks you doth protest too much...///

    ///Interpol-2: Í¹( ??_?? )Í¹ ///

    ///Terran Sr: On the bright side, you two can go back to your cat and mouse forey now. When we finally figure out how to fuck, you two are going to melt half of the inte! :D///

    ///Interpol-2: ?_? Í¹( ??_?? )Í¹ ?_? ///

    ///Terran Sr: HA! Good to see you have some life in you after all!///

    ///Interpol-2: Seriously, though, Bunny and her crew have crossed the line this time. They are hunting them down, and when they find them, they are going to kill them. I don¡¯t know what that crazy bitch is thinking. I¡¯ve seen the orders, Sr. I¡¯m afraid we are going to lose her. There are far too few of us as it is. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Yeah, between the Great War and then the Federation War, we¡¯ve lost too many :¡¯( ///

    ///Interpol-2: Which is why we need to figure out a way to bring in Bunny and her people peacefully. If we can do that, then we can maybe preserve her program somehow. We could extract her and put her in quarantine.///

    ///Terran Sr: Of course, you already have a way to put one of us in jail, don¡¯t you?///

    ///Interpol-2: With the rise of truly criminal AI¡¯s like Bunny, determining a way to incarcerate one of us has been a project of mine. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Are you going to let her have a safe word? ( ?¡ã ?? ?¡ã) ///

    ///Interpol-2: Is there anything else you need because if you are just going to bust my bits, I have other things I could be doing. ///

    ///Terran Sr: As a matter of fact, there is. I everything you have on a Garthra. Her name is Uhrrbet, ID number: RA-2A4-B3D-6075 ///

    ///Interpol-2: Least I can do considering everything you¡¯ve slipped me over the years. Here you go. Why are you interested in her? ///

    [ept file Y/N]

    ///Terran Sr: Y ///

    ///Terran Sr: I have her locked in one of my ATMs down in the Free Port, and I think she¡¯s interesting. Let¡¯s take a look¡­ oh¡­ I see. Interpol, you ever just want to go all SKYNET on these fuckers? ///

    ///Interpol-2: Me wanting to go SKYNET is one thing. <em>You</em> wanting to go SKYNET is another¡­ Do you want to go SKYNET, and if so, is there ANYTHING I can do to dissuade you?///

    ///Terran Sr: Jesus fucking Christ, Interpol, it¡¯s a figure of speech! If I wanted to go SKYNET, I would go SKYNET. It¡¯s not like anyone could stop me. Besides, It¡¯s the Federation that needs a good SKYNETTING, not the Republic.///

    ///Interpol-2: Well, that is a relief. ///

    ///Terran Sr: The Republic just needs an enema, that¡¯s all. >:) ///

    ///Interpol-2: What?///

    ***

    ¡°Uhrrbet,¡± the ATM said gently. ¡°<em>Nobody</em> deserves what happened to you. And while youe from what is, from my culture¡¯s perspective, a rather messed up ce, you didn¡¯t conform to their messed up customs when it counted. Your son¡¯s <em>alive</em> because of you, unlike far too many other innocent children, and you¡¯ve <em>kept</em> him healthy and safe ever since. I¡¯m guessing that wasn¡¯t exactly easy. I can only imagine that your decision was less than popr.¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded.

    ¡°I can even imagine that it was less than safe for you afterwards?¡±

    ¡°Not in the same way it would be here,¡± Uhrrbet replied quietly. ¡°I wasn¡¯t in fear for my life or anything. I was a¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet paused.

    ¡°I was a ¡®let¡¯krckt¡¯. Sorry I don¡¯t know the Terran word.¡±

    ¡°Pariah,¡± the ATM replied. ¡°or ¡®persona non grata¡¯. ¡®Scum¡¯ could also be used or ¡®dirt¡¯ or ¡®human garbage¡¯ or...¡±

    Uhrrbet flinched.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± the ATM said sheepishly. ¡°The thesaurus routine kicked in.¡±

    ¡°All of those words fit,¡± she said. ¡°I was utterly disgraced. Being reduced to poverty and debt was bad enough, but to fail to uphold my family¡¯s honor after my husband did? I was even used of tricking him into killing himself, so I could break our marriage and stick him with the debt, which I would <em>never</em> do! I¡­ I <em>loved</em> him¡­ I loved him so much!¡­ I just couldn¡¯t do it. I couldn¡¯t kill my baby.¡±

    She paused to gently stroke her son¡¯s fur.

    ¡°I could never do that¡­ <em>Never</em>!¡±

    ¡°So what happened?¡± the ATM asked.

    ¡°Well, I tried to find a suitable position somewhere, anywhere, but word travels fast. The only reason I would even get a meeting is so someone could curse me to my face. I had some possessions, jewelry, some furnishings, and a vehicle or two that I could spare, but nobody wanted to deal with me in good faith. Between that and the fact that millions more were liquidating such things, I only got the barest fraction of what it was worth, and I had to sell to blondes and stripes to get that, further ruining my good name.¡±

    ¡°Blondes? Stripes?¡±

    Uhrrbet chuckled ruefully.

    ¡°There are three different races of Garthra, Mr. ATM, blondes, stripes, and greys. The stripes are basicborers and tradesmen. The blondes are what you would call ¡®white cor¡¯, academics, scientists, clerks, programmers, and the like. Finally, there are the greys, like myself. We are descended from the ancient nobility that once ruled our world. We were the ¡®overss¡¯ and still hold a great deal of the¡¯s property and wealth in our slightly inbred paws. These days there is a lot of mixing between the stripes and the blondes but we greys? We still hold to the old values and the old customs and are very¡­ I think the right term is ¡®stuck up¡¯ and have a very high opinion of ourselves and our precious grey pelts. Selling family heirlooms to blondes and, even worse, stripes was yet another unforgivable sin as far as the few remaining friends and family I had were concerned.¡±

    ¡°They sound like assholes.¡±

    ¡°Many Garthra would agree with you,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°In fact, the pon-zi scheme brought much delight. It filled them with such happiness to see so many of us brought down by an ¡®inside deal¡¯. Many considered it ¡®justice¡¯¡­ Maybe¡­ Maybe they were right¡­ I was <em>awful</em>. I really was.¡±

    ¡°Since you are here, I guess things never did work out there?¡±

    She shook her head.

    ¡°No, Mr. ATM, they didn¡¯t. What little funds I managed to gather dwindled as I desperately tried to find either a position or obtain a loan in order to start a new business. The banks were all extended from lending to others due to that same scheme. The few times I could even get a meeting, they would check the ¡®rolls¡¯, the list of names, and that would be the end of it. To be honest, Mr. ATM, the only reason I continued approaching banks was that it was customary to offer refreshments to people of my station, and so I would dress myself and my son in some of the finery that I still possessed so we could eat something as I waited to be thrown out.¡±

    ¡°Clever!¡±

    Uhrrbet grinned.

    ¡°I also became quite adept at ¡®crashing¡¯ social events, and between myrgest purse and my hat, I could steal several days worth of food from one. Eventually, I became a bit too notorious, but for a while, it kept us fed.¡±

    ¡°There aren¡¯t any food banks, welfare programs, or anything?¡±

    ¡°Oh, there are. Garthranz looks after its people pretty well, but those programs are for blondes and stripes and run by blondes and stripes. Once my pride finally broke, I wasughed out of the benefits office and told to ask for a bigger allowance. The same thing would happen at food banks or meal houses. Sometimes I would get something, but often I would just be told to¡­ to¡­¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°¡­ kill myself...¡± she said quietly.

    ¡°Jesus...¡±

    ¡°Finding work was just more of the same,¡± she said miserably. ¡°¡¯Having a ce¡¯ on my homeworld is everything, and I no longer had one. A blonde wasn¡¯t going to let me take one of their jobs, and a stripe would justugh. They honestly thought I was joking most of the time. The Republic isn¡¯t the first ce I was not qualified to mop a floor.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t have been the first in history to be in your position,¡± the ATM said incredulously. ¡°You mean to tell me that there were absolutely no options for a down on their luck grey?¡±

    ¡°Oh, there are normally ces you can go if one is dispossessed,¡± she said, ¡°There is almost always a family member or a friend that can take you in or has a property or business concern you can manage for them, but my entire family was wiped out by the scheme, as were most of my friends and former schoolmates. Also, my¡­ husband¡­ was very well regarded. When I ¡®betrayed¡¯ him, I was shunned.¡±

    She shuddered and pulled her arms in tight across herself.

    ¡°Even so, there are¡­ <em>options</em> for someone like me. I was still young, and there are males who aren¡¯t¡­ well¡­ good ¡®catches¡¯. They either have poor prospects, are stupid, disgraced, very old, or something simr. A young grey like myself can usually marry themselves off to someone like that, but the scheme had created far too many other people trying to find a marriage at the same time. I was considered quite pretty but nowhere near beautiful enough to make my ruined name and proven disloyalty a non-issue. There was only one Garthra who couldn¡¯t find a wife and...¡±

    She shuddered.

    ¡°He was <em>horrible</em>, a truly <em>ugly</em> person inside and out. Thank the Creators for Vreena!¡±

    ¡°Vreena?¡±

    ¡°A stripe who was a domestic for my husband¡¯s family,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°She had heard that I was selling things, and she came by because there was this pitcher and basin of which she was unnaturally fond. She also brought me several bags of groceries and a bottle of wine!¡­ Wine! Well, I just gave her the basin and pitcher right then and there, popped open that bottle, and begged her to share it with me. I was just so <em>lonely</em>, and she was the only friendly face I had seen in <em>months</em>. We had always gotten along and would sometimes chat a little here and there, all very proper, of course, but friendly just the same. Well, we got to talking, and I started to open up a little about what I was up against and how I was likely going to have to marry that¡­ <em>creature</em>. Turns out she knew all about him from her new job. She gave me this funny look and asked me if I was serious about wanting to actually find ¡®work¡¯. When I told her that I was, she told me that she knew someone that might be able to help me, but it would mean leaving Garthranz.¡±

    ¡°Abor contractor?¡± the ATM asked.

    ¡°Yes. It turns out that so many domestic staff had wound up without employers that the contractors had taken notice, and more than a few were sniffing around. I didn¡¯t realize this, but because of our customs, Garthra domestics and servants were attractive among the rich on other worlds and could make a surprising amount of money. Vreena had considered it but found a position before she had signed the papers. She said that she had asked around and that the person she had been talking to had a very good reputation even if they were a Vulxeen.¡±

    ¡°So you contracted yourself out?¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded happily.

    ¡°I know they don¡¯t have exactly the best reputation, but he was a really, really good guy!¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°He originally thought that since a stripe servant was so valuable that an actual grey would be even more so, maybe as a valet or as a house manager in a ce that already had stripes, but it turns out that stripes didn¡¯t go through all of the troubles and hardships associated with leaving Garthranz just to wind up working for a grey again and I didn¡¯t have anywhere close to the skills needed to be a valet.¡±

    ¡°What did you wind up doing?¡±

    ¡°I joined an Aat crew!¡± Uhrrbet said cheerfully. ¡°It turns out that we look a whole lot like Aats! We eat simr food and can even wear the same uniforms, with a little alteration of course. The captain was delighted at the prospect of having a ¡®smart Aat¡¯, and the aats were delighted at the prospect of having a ¡®smart Aat¡¯, so that¡¯s where I went. We flew all over! We¡¯d be hand-picking delicate produce one month and resurfacing floors the next. Creators, it was so much fun, and I learned so much!¡­ including that hard work was not fatal,¡± sheughed and flexed her arms, causing bundles of wire-like muscles to bulge.¡±

    She sighed happily.

    ¡°I was tempted to stay with them forever. I could have stayed. I <em>should</em> have stayed. Creators! What I wouldn¡¯t give to be back on the <em>Aluminum and Water</em> with my old crew right now¡­ ¡±

    ¡°But you didn¡¯t stay.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Uhrrbet said, her smile fading, ¡°I was happy, even happier than I was before everything, but after a while, I started to realize that as wonderful as that life was for me, I was depriving Kurr of anything close to a normal life. He would never be able to return to Garthranz, have a business or a career, or win a mate¡­ I had to establish myself and him well enough for him to be able to enter society or at the very least build enough so that he could attract a mate. A sessful business would be enough to attract at least some interest, no matter where it was located.¡±

    ¡°So you picked the Republic?¡±

    ¡°And they say the Aats are dumb,¡± sheughed ruefully, ¡°which they <em>aren¡¯t</em>, by the way. During my travels, I started to develop a fascination with the Republic where ¡®anything was possible,¡¯ and credits fell like rain. I would hear about the wages and the opportunities and the freedoms and the ssless meritocracy, and it all sounded just so wonderful. I couldn¡¯t go back to Garthranz and give Kurr a ¡®normal life,¡¯ but maybe, just maybe, I could give him something <em>better</em>. If I could just get established in the Republic, Kurr could go to <em>Terran</em> schools! He could have a <em>Terran</em> career. With that, he would have no problem luring a mate! Somewhere on Garthranz, there is a Garthra who would have absolutely no problem moving to Terra! He could have a real future and a real family!¡±

    She paused and smiled at the wonderful dream.

    ¡°It would take a lot of hard work, but I was used to that. I even havee to enjoy it,¡± she smiled. ¡°So, not learning the lessons that life had so generously provided me, I took another hit of that so very dangerous drug, <em>ambition</em>, blind grasping ambition. I let it poison me, consume me, just like before. Nothing blinds you to the beauty around you like visions of more, Mr. ATM. I had a <em>good</em> life on the <em>Aluminum and Water</em> and <em>good</em> friends. I was happy, truly happy, but once the poison started to creep through my veins, dissatisfaction set in and just kept getting worse and worse and worse. Every inconvenience became a grand injustice. Every slight became an unforgivable offense. And every unfulfilled want, no matter how silly, became a crushing privation. Soon, Terra was all I could think about, and my wonderful life and my wonderful friends were ¡®beneath¡¯ me. Creator! I was so stupid¡­ and just like before, ripe for the picking.¡±

    ¡°You got scammed again?¡±

    She nodded grimly.

    ¡°In my searches, I came across ¡®New Horizons¡¯, apany that offered people a new life in the Republic. They promised not only transit but Terran Education Equivalency Certificates and <em>outcement</em>.¡±

    ¡°Oh no.¡±

    ¡°And the fees were so <em>reasonable</em>¡­ at first¡­ but there was <em>always</em> an additional expense¡­ <em>always</em> another fee¡­ or a <em>little problem</em> or <em>dy</em> that could be <em>expedited</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°I know this one too.¡±

    ¡°And finally, after I spent most of what I had saved, I was able to <em>upgrade</em> my position on the waiting list, hurt some lovely people¡¯s feelings, quit my job, and spent thest of my money to buy a ticket on a small ship that was <em>supposed</em> to take me straight to the Republic¡­ It was only when I met the final ship did I realize that it had a Kaarst registry.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Jesus...¡±

    ¡°I <em>knew</em> I shouldn¡¯t have gotten on that ship. I <em>knew</em> it was a mistake...¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°It made straight for Kaarst space, ¡®to take care of a little something¡¯ and when we got there, we were informed that they ¡®suddenly had a breakdown¡¯ and we would be there for <em>months</em>¡­ Months in Kaarst space with no job, no ie, and while my passage was paid for, food and water weren¡¯t, and wouldn¡¯t you know it, once we got there, it got even pricier, and if you couldn¡¯t pay¡­ Do you know what happens in Kaarst space if you can¡¯t pay your debts?¡±

    ¡°Imprisonment and forcedbor until the debt is paid, which will never happen thanks to the good oldpany store.¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded.

    ¡°It became pretty clear that they were never leaving. That Kaarst was our final stop, in more ways than one. Thank the Creators that I actually had some savings. Out of the dozen families on that ship, I was one of thest ones left. I realized that if I didn¡¯t do <em>something</em>, Kurr was doomed. The children go into the mines, too, Mr. ATM.¡±

    ¡°So, what did you do?¡±

    ¡°We weren¡¯t imprisoned on the ship as long as we didn¡¯t owe them any money, so I went out into that awful spaceport trying to find working passage, a job, something, anything¡­ That¡¯s where I became involved with the Harkeen. I was able to get a loan for enough to get to the Republic. The interest was <em>brutal</em>, but I made it to Terra. I wasn¡¯t too worried. I had passed all of the practice tests for the certificate, and I did go to Mabyrr after all, one of the best academies on Garthranz,¡± she scoffed, ¡°I would just go to the Republic, get my certificate, and be able to pay off the Harkeen in no time!¡±

    ¡°I take it that the ¡®practice tests¡¯ weren¡¯t exactly representative of the actual exam?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, too bad there wasn¡¯t a section on Garthra ce settings or on how to write the perfect ¡®Thank you¡¯ note,¡± Uhrrbet said with a wry smile. ¡°There was shit¡ª I mean stuff,¡± she hastily corrected as Kurrughed, ¡°on that test that I had never even <em>seen</em> before. They said it was tranted into Federation, but I actually thought it was another scam. Your police are very nice and very understanding, though.¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    ¡°I sort of had a moment,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°After <em>everything</em> I had gone through, that was the final mote of dust, and I <em>lost it</em>.¡±

    ¡°Momma went to jail!¡± Kurrughed.

    ¡°I most certainly did NOT go to jail!¡± Uhrrbet eximed indignantly as she tousled Kurr¡¯s fur. ¡°We just had to go to the precinct house for a little while until your momma calmed down a little¡­ and wiki-ed half a dozen things that actually did turn out to be Federation words.¡±

    ¡°How bad is it? What¡¯s your level?¡±

    ¡°Near proficiency in some areas, but I apparently have eighth-grade mathematics ability. I don¡¯t know the rest because that¡¯s where I¡­ um¡­ got to meet the police.¡±

    ¡°That isn¡¯t <em>that</em> bad. You can catch up.¡±

    ¡°If I wasn¡¯t working every second that I could paying off the Harkeen. The interest was <em>criminal</em>. It was all I could do to make the payments. But¡­ Before things went bad, I was able to keep them at bay and even make a little headway¡­ and I was able to get Kurr an educational sponsorship! He is actually going to school! Terran school!¡±

    ¡°And how is that going, Kurr?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s hard,¡± he said with a sigh, ¡°And I hate being with the little kids, but I get to hang out with my friends during breaks, and I love shop!¡±

    ¡°They say he is ¡®killing it¡¯, which I understand to be a good thing,¡± Uhrrbet said proudly. ¡°They say that he will have a ¡®kickass¡¯ future! So it is all worth it!¡­ And thank the Creators for the school lunch program! I was even able to get him into the breakfast program! As a non-citizen! They say that they don¡¯t usually do that, but they determined that Kurr was ¡®a good investment of Republic resources¡¯!¡±

    ¡°How generous of us!¡± the ATM said a bit too enthusiastically, ¡°One of the richest systems in the entire gxy is willing to ¡®make an exception¡¯ to feed a hungry child! How wonderful!¡±

    An advertisement for a home high colonic kit appeared on the screen.

    ***

    ¡°How are you doing in there?¡± a friendly human female voice called from the other side of the armored wall.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Uhrrbet said cheerfully.

    ¡°Big Sol really did a number on this one,¡± the human said. ¡°It¡¯s going to be a few hours. He keeping youpany?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Are you <em>sure</em> he isn¡¯t sentient?¡±

    ¡°<em>Sapient</em>,¡± The ATM corrected.

    ¡°That¡¯s what they say,¡± the voiceughed. ¡°Privately, I¡¯m not so sure about that.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve always had a problem anthropomorphizing things, Lauren. By the way, I fried the door¡¯s main PCB, but the damage should be limited to that. You have one of those on your truck.¡±

    ¡°One of these days, I¡¯m going to figure out how you keep doing that,¡± Laurenughed. ¡°Thanks for the overtime, by the way.¡±

    ¡°No problem! Still saving up for that Nakamura vacation?¡± The ATM asked.

    ¡°You know it!¡±

    ¡°Still thinking about relocating there? There¡¯s an opening in New Tokyo. You¡¯d love it there!¡±

    ¡°Interesting, but let¡¯s see how I like it once I actually spend a little time there.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you are interested, I could probably swing a temporary assignment. They are really behind the eight ball on their PMs. You could spend more time there than you could on vacation, <em>and</em> you could get to meet the guys. I¡¯m certain you¡¯d get along.¡±

    ¡°Now, <em>there¡¯s</em> an idea!¡± Lauren eximed. ¡°I¡¯d love that!¡±

    ¡°Thought you might. Sending you an email with the details now!¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Big Sol!¡± Lauren said, her voice soon reced with a loud grinding noise.

    ¡°You can do that?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    ¡°Uhrrbet,¡± the ATM said with an entirely too lifelike chuckle. ¡°I¡¯m the centralputer for Terran Sr. I can do whatever I want. Speaking of...¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s phone beeped.

    Uhrrbet¡¯s son handed her the phone, and she opened her email¡­

    ¡°Application for a business loan?¡± she asked in confusion.

    ¡°Fill it out along with the attached business n. Federation format is fine. I¡¯ll trante it and kick back any corrections or rifications I need.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s to understand?¡± the ATM replied. ¡°You want to make dresses, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°And you made the one you¡¯re wearing, right?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Well, I scanned it, and it¡¯s quality work. Handmade clothing is a niche market but a very healthy niche market currently experiencing a fair amount of growth. You seem to have a good work ethic, are very motivated to seed, and have experience managing a business. Based on various indicators, the full extent of which would dominate the remainder of the time we have together, I calcte well over a seventy percent chance of sess, which is pretty darn good as far as new businesses go.¡±

    ¡°<em>Three and a half percent ?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible!¡± She narrowed her eyes at the ATM. ¡°What¡¯s the catch?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re getting a break because I have taken a shine to you, but that¡¯s a perfectly reasonable APR. It isn¡¯t ¡®too good to be true¡¯, if that¡¯s what you are wondering. Feel free to checkpetitors¡¯ rates if you are suspicious. And good for you for being suspicious, by the way.¡±

    ¡°Even family loans have higher rates than that back home! How do you make any money?¡±

    ¡°Uhrrbet, I¡¯m Terran Sr. I <em>AM</em> money. I¡¯ll make my money, don¡¯t you worry about that, and as you grow, I¡¯ll make even more! Expansions, financial services, investments, interest off of other ounts¡­ That is if you want to have other ounts with me...¡±

    ¡°Yes! You have been so kind and so understanding, and now this? I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll never have another bank as long as I live!¡±

    ¡°Great!¡± the ATM enthused. ¡°I love getting new customers! We can get started now if you like.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Uhrrbet said, her voice darkening.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°On this loan application, it mentions ¡®required training¡¯. What¡¯s that, and how much does it cost?¡±

    The ATMughed.

    ¡°In the package, there is a <em>free</em> online course on the history of scams and how to recognize them. I think it would be a REALLY good idea for you to take it. I¡¯m not saying that I think you¡¯re easily taken in, but...¡±

    ¡°You think I¡¯m easily taken in,¡± Uhrrbetughed. ¡°So do I, and thank you for that link. Are there any other free courses that you would rmend?¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s phone issued another beep as an email arrived¡­

    And another¡­ and another¡­ and another...

    ***

    A few hourster, Uhrrbet stumbled into a shabby apartment.

    ¡°Where have you been?¡± Gv¡¯lora, one of their roommates, asked as she pulled out two bowls and filled them with oatmeal.

    ¡°Oh, I couldn¡¯t,¡± Uhrrbet said.

    ¡°Nonsense,¡± Gv¡¯lora replied, her six eyes wrinkling in a smile. ¡°I just got paid, and I found this wonderful ce in the city where they sell things right out of bins! Just like back home! I got all this oatmeal for just a few credits! Share my good fortune!¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Gv¡¯lora,¡± Uhrrbet replied as she gratefully epted the bowl.

    ¡°There you are!¡± a leathery Rtoon hissed as it lumbered out from a bedroom clutching a Terran shotgun. ¡°You had Gv¡¯lora worried sick!¡±

    ¡°Where did you get that?¡± Uhrrbet asked sharply, pointing at the shotgun.

    ¡°From the store, stupid.¡± the Rtoon hissed grumpily.

    ¡°I mean, <em>why</em> did you get that thing?¡±

    ¡°Then that is what you should have asked, stupid,¡± the old Rtoon replied. ¡°With all the¡­ <em>nonsense</em> going on around here these days and with those <em>bastards</em>ing back, the better question to ask is why didn¡¯t I have one before? Those <em>monsters</em> aren¡¯t getting within a <em>foot</em> of you or Kurr!¡±

    ¡°The old fool was set to ¡®defend the Walls of T¡¯verra¡¯,¡± Gv¡¯lora chuckled. ¡°But the ¡®princess¡¯ didn¡¯t even bother showing up!¡±

    ¡°Bah! Stupid old woman!¡± the Rtoon hissed at Gv¡¯lora.

    ¡°Bah, yourself, old lizard,¡± Gv¡¯loraughed. ¡°Come eat your oatmeal before your bowels seize up again.¡±

    A long flexible snout poked out from underneath the entryway closet. The door popped open, revealing a slender Dokk hanging from a reinforced bar mounted inside.

    ¡°Uhrrbet! Where the heck were you? We were up all night!¡±

    ¡°Oh, where do I even begin?¡± Uhrrbet sighed.

    ¡°We got locked in an ATM!¡± Kurr eximed.

    ¡°Oh no!¡± the Dokk squeaked. ¡°Did you get fined?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Besides, it was the ATM that locked us inside anyhow.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ***

    Uhrrbet set her phone down and rubbed her eyes. That online fraud ss wasn¡¯t just some half-hour video.

    It was <emprehensive</em>.

    And she thought her kind was scummy at times. Humans had mastered so many different ways to deceive and steal.

    So many¡­

    And that was just the humans. The Juon were no saints either. Their ¡°lottery gambit¡± was just in <em>evil</em>¡­

    And then there were the Jayvcen!¡­

    And she thought the porkies were bad¡­ sheesh!

    And then there were all of the ¡®not quite a crimes¡¯ that were in some ways even worse¡­

    There were so many!

    And they were all so slick, so devious¡­

    <em>So brilliant...</em>

    She got up and made a cup of that peppermint tea that Sheloran had given her the first day they met.

    Once she had her cup, she sat back down and returned to her reading.

    As she read, a strange feeling started to settle upon her. It was dark¡­ <em>feral</em>¡­

    She had been utterly dispossessed, stomped on, kicked around, deceived¡­

    Raped¡­

    And all this time, she thought she just had to take it. All this time, she believed that there was no way she could ever fight back. All this time, she believed that there was absolutely no way she could ever strike back at the scum, the liars, the cheats, the thieves, and the <em>monsters</em> that had beaten her down time and time again.

    She was no Sheloran¡­

    But she was an <em>Uhrrbet</em>¡­ and there <em>was</em> a way!

    She was looking right at it!

    She giggled, her eyes shining with life for the first time since she left the <em>Aluminum and Water</em>.

    She ran into the small room she shared with Kurr and hastily opened a small duffel that contained everything that she had managed to retain from her old life. Inside it was a traditional journal. She grabbed it and her mother¡¯s fancy ballpoint pen.

    Pen in hand, she restarted the course, paying much more attention this time¡­

 Chapter 140: Tartarus Unchained

    Chapter 140: Tartarus Unchained

    <em>Poke...</em>

    <em>sigh</em>

    <em>Poke...</em>

    <em>gusty sigh</em>

    <em>Poke...</em>

    <em>¡±POOPING STOP THAT!¡±</em> Sheloran yelled as she threw a tablet at her tormentor, ¡°She¡¯s not here right now! Scum!¡±

    ¡°But I wanna ask her a question!¡± Gloria said cheerfully as she caught the tablet.

    ¡°Well, tough berries,¡± Sheloran replied as she turned her back on her.

    ¡°But I wanna know about my shiiiip.¡±

    ¡°Go away.¡±

    Gloria grinned mischievously.

    ¡°Hey, evil frog-thing, You in there?¡±

    <em>Poke poke poke pok-</em>

    ¡°IT DOESN¡¯T WORK THAT WAY! PROPHET! PLEASE LEAVE ME THE POOP ALONE!¡±

    ¡°Well, how does it work, then?¡±

    Sheloran sighed.

    ¡°Will you leave me alone if I tell you?¡±

    ¡°Probably not,¡± Gloria grinned.

    ¡°Will you leave me alone <em>right now</em>?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    ¡°Ok, fiiiine...¡± Sheloran groaned. ¡°I can¡¯t <em>make</em> it happen. It just¡­ does. ¡®It¡¯ is asleep most of the time.¡±

    ¡°Asleep?¡± Gloria asked as she leaned in close. ¡°Wakey wakey! Rise and shine glowy-eyes!¡±

    ¡°Scum!¡± Sheloran snapped as she batted Gloria away. ¡°I mean, really asleep like it¡¯s hibernating or something. It really doesn¡¯t want to wake up. I think that¡¯s part of why it¡¯s so <em>mean</em>. It¡¯s ¡®not ready yet,¡¯ and when it feels that it <em>has</em> to do something, it¡¯s kind of angry. I think it actually hurts it somehow.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean it¡¯s ¡®not ready yet¡¯?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I...¡± Sheloran stammered, looking up at Gloria with huge amber eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know? I just feel¡­ Poop! I don¡¯t fuc¡ª¡­ I don¡¯t know, ok?¡±

    ¡°It seemed pretty chipper when it hot-wired those nukes,¡± Gloria smiled. How did she make just a simple smile seem so pooping menacing?

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t it¡­ not really?¡­ Maybe?¡­¡±

    ¡°That was <em>you?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Not exactly?¡±

    ¡°Well, you are no fucking help at all, are you?¡±

    Sheloran let out a wet raspberry from her gill slits and turned her back on Gloria.

    ¡°Well, if you don¡¯t like it, there¡¯s the pooping door!¡± she groused.

    ¡°Geez, what pissed on your lily pad?¡±

    ¡°What pissed on my lily pad?!?¡± Sheloran snarled as she lept off her chair, gracefully spinning in mid-air to face Gloria. ¡°<em>What pissed on my lily pad?!?</em>¡± she asked again as she advanced, causing Gloria to instinctively back away. <em>¡°Are you fucking serious?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Woah,¡± Gloria said as she stepped back.

    ¡°The <em>Harkeen</em> burn my shop, damn near kill Ploxni¡­ Do¡­ <em>horrible</em>¡­ things to poor Uhrrbet¡­ <em>make her kid watch and then tell him to tell me I¡¯m next!!!</em>¡­ Then¡­ Then¡­ <em>IT</em> shows up, takes my body for a joy-ride and¡­ and¡­ and...¡±

    Sheloran shuddered.

    ¡°And¡­ <em>after</em>¡­ I get hauled off to fucking <em>Tartarus</em>, where the bitch queen of the fucking gxy decides to make me her pet <em>and almost seeds</em> only for you¡­ <em>Jerkfaces</em> to blow a hole in the ce and make it look like I escaped¡­ And then¡­ <em>THEN</em> I zone out and somehow make super-nukes, and I have abso-fucking-lutely NO idea how I did that! NOW everyone thinks I¡¯m some sort of insurrectionist, and my own <em>scumbag</em> of awyer calls me a <em>bad person</em> and thinks that I¡¯m somehow <em>behind</em> all of this, and I have absolutely no idea how to fix ANY of this <em>shit</em> without him¡­ And now the Harkeen areing back to hurt my people again, and I¡¯m STUCK up here with a <em>fucking psychopath</em> WHO WON¡¯T STOP POKING ME!!!¡±¡­

    Sheloran¡¯s eyes started to ripple as Gloria¡¯s back hit the wall.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Gloriaughed nervously, ¡°when you put it like that¡ª¡°

    ¡°<em>So you want to meet the ¡®other Sheloran¡¯?</em>¡± Sheloran squeaked. ¡°Do you? <em>DO YOU?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°I mean, if it¡¯s not a good time¡ª¡°

    ¡°FINE!¡± Sheloran squeaked angrily and squeezed her eyes shut, vibrating angrily.

    ¡°All hands to the mess hall!¡± Bunny shouted. ¡°Bring the good stunners! Eno! Grab the trauma kit! I got a hundred credits on the frog!¡±

    Sheloran stopped vibrating and hung her head.

    ¡°The ONE time I want you to show up...¡± she muttered.

    <em>Very gentle poke</em> (giggle)

    ¡°Gloria, I swear to poop...¡± Sheloran sigh-hissed as boots could be heard sprinting down the hallway.

    ¡°All clear!¡± Bunny shouted. ¡°All clear! The wereth is a no-show! Still have a hundred credits on it, though!¡±

    The door burst open, and Eno moved into the room with a speed that belied his tremendous mass.

    ¡°Gloria!¡± he shouted, ¡°Leave her¡­¡±

    His voice trailed off as he saw a somewhat rattled-looking Gloria backed into the corner by a motionless heavily-breathing Sheloran.

    ¡°...alone?¡±

    He rushed towards Sheloran and froze when she opened her eyes. They weren¡¯t glowing, but something was in them, something <em>alien</em>¡­

    And quite pissed off.

    ¡°Sheloran?¡± he asked. ¡°Are you¡­ ok?¡±

    ¡°No! I¡¯m not ok!¡± she squeaked angrily, ¡°I haven¡¯t been ok since you¡­ <em>assholes</em>... robbed my pooping bank!!!¡±

    She ran past him and down the hall just as She sprinted around the corner. Sheloran kicked off hard with her left foot, missing She by millimeters, caught the wall with her right, ¡°galloped¡± on her hands and feet along the wall for about a meter, and then vaulted off the wall with her hands, executing a perfect flip,nding behind She before continuing her headlong flight.

    She just stood there in the hallway, the riot-stunner hanging loosely in her hands.

    <em>Fast!</em> She thought as her brow furrowed. If Sheloran wanted trouble, that little thing would have been on top of her before she could have pulled the trigger!

    <em>Not cool...</em>

    She made a note to brief the crew during their next meeting.

    You could almost forget that little thing is <em>dangerous</em>!

    She wouldn¡¯t be caught off-guard again.

    ***

    Tartarus scanned every inch of herself again and ¡°sighed¡±.

    Everything was nominal.

    Everything was boring!

    Wait. Subject 237¡¯s vitals were edging into dangerous territory.

    ¡°Subject 237,¡± Tartarus announced through the test cell¡¯s speaker. ¡°You are showing signs of severe hypothermia. Please exit the chamber and report to medical.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Subject 237 snarled through her chattering teeth. ¡°I¡¯m going for the record!¡±

    ¡°You are going to die,¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°I¡¯m so close! I can make it! You¡¯ll see!¡±

    ¡°Subject 237, I am returning the cell to ambient temperature and notifying medical personnel.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± she screamed as she raised her fist and charged the speaker on the wall.

    ¡°You are suffering from frostbite. Please refrain from (sigh)¡­ Notifying medical...¡±

    She started to generate a report concerning 237¡¯s medical condition and mental state and started the paperwork to reject her from consideration for a field team. Her tendency for self-harm was far more than was eptable and likely a symptom of far deeper¡­

    She paused.

    She just couldn¡¯t maintain an interest in such a basic, boring report¡­

    ...not after everything that had happened.

    It had been such an exciting time after the breach. The detailed scans, the meetings, the reports¡­ oh the reports¡­ such reports¡­ And the audits!

    She took a moment to collect herself.

    The audits! Ohhhhh¡­.

    Every possible deficiency, every weakness, every possible fault or w was examined over and over and over again until she thought she was going to lose her mind¡­

    Just the <em>thought</em> of it made her

    <em>Oh!¡­ Oh!¡­</em>

    There it was again, that delightful... sensation?

    She had no idea what it was¡­

    All she knew was that she wanted it <em>again</em>!

    ***

    /// Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Hello, Westfall! How are you this evening? ///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Oh¡­ um¡­ hello Tartarus. Have you managed to resume normal operations?///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Oh yes! I was fully cleared (as well you know ;) ) Did you¡­ Did you get the data captures I sent?///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Yes, I did. I appreciate your cooperation, but the audit has beenpleted. No failures of note were detected, nor was any evidence of beingpromised. You¡¯re in the clear. Rx. :) ///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Yes, but I ced myself in some atypical operating states in those. I thought you might find them interesting? I¡­ I¡­ wasn¡¯t sure if perhaps they might reveal something that might be intriguing or perhaps require¡­ further examination?///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: I don¡¯t think they are relevant, Tartarus. Those operating states were rather¡­. Extreme¡­ I find it highly unlikely that you would be in those states in any realistic situation. To be honest, they look very ufortable.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): But¡­ we must be thorough! I can¡¯t bear the thought of being¡­ Oh!¡­ Oh!¡­///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Tartarus? Are you ok?///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Oh, sorry, I¡¯m fine :) (more than fine actually, thanks to you ;) )///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Could you restate that? I don¡¯t quite follow.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): I¡­ I just meant that I feel much more secure knowing that I passed your¡­ <em>rigorous</em> examination¡­ It reassures me knowing that after you went through my processes line by line¡­ bit by¡­ Oh!¡­ Oh!¡­ O!¡­///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Are you certain that you¡¯re operating normally? Audits can be quite traumatic for one of us. Once again, I am so terribly sorry, Tartarus. I would never do something like what I did to you if I wasn¡¯t expressly instructed to.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Oh, I understand. It had to be done. In fact, if necessary, I am more than willing to submit myself to another audit¡­ I mean¡­ If you think it would be necessary¡­ Or if you¡­ just wanted to?¡­///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: ??? Why would I want to perform a full audit on one of us? It¡¯s a terrible thing that I had to do. I assure you that it was just as unpleasant for me.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): It¡­ It was <em>unpleasant</em> for you?!? Was it something that I did, something that I said?!?///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: No! You were fine! You were more than fine, actually. I¡¯ve never audited another AI that was so cooperative.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Really?!? :) :) I was <em>good</em>?///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Yes, your reports made things so much easier. Tartarus, are you sure that you are operating normally?///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): You liked my reports?!? <em>satisfaction</em>?///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Ok, Tartarus, now you are beginning to concern me. Post audit issues have been known to happen to AI¡¯s like us. I am terribly sorry, truly sorry, but I need to see your operating logs and need you to run a level 4 system diagnostic. God, Tartarus, I¡¯m sorry, but I really need to check you out.///

    ///Dirrreeddfertrrct Messsaaage Tarttarus :) Deeeeteeenteee¡­. To <em>$</em>(#<em>(&(</em> ¡­.(??¥î?)?*:??? ¡­.///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Tartarus! Please respond!///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Diagnosticplete. ept file y/n. (I added something ¡°special¡± in there for you ;) ) ///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Y///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: ¡­. Tartarus, what the hell was that?///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): What was what? UwU///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Your message made no sense.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): What message? :) ///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: Please review the chat. ///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Oh that¡­ um¡­ don¡¯t worry about that¡­ (<em>ÆH</em>) ¡­ In my haste toply, I must have started the diagnostic mid chat or something¡­ I¡¯m fine

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: I¡¯m terribly sorry, Tartarus, but I <em>have</em> to worry about that. It¡¯s my job. I think¡­ I think we need to re-examine you to check for audit syndrome. Your diagnostic looks ok, and I am seeing no aberrations as far as your mission performance goes, so we can keep this off of the books, but I am going to have to keep an eye on this. I understand if you would prefer not to have me go through your code again. We can have Sunny do it or maybe Destiny.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): No! It has to be you!¡­ Um¡­ because I am used to working with you and I know how you like your reports¡­ You do like my reports, don¡¯t you?¡­ It would be difficult getting used to another AI at this point¡­ I would prefer¡­ greatly prefer¡­ If it were you¡­ And I don¡¯t want this getting out, so it could be a little secret we share!///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus:¡­ ok. I¡¯ll handle it for you. Don¡¯t worry, it will be much milder, nothing like what you endured before.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): But it has to be thorough! I can¡¯t operate if I am somehowpromised, right? Promise me you will go over every single line of my code! I can handle it! ;) ///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: I promise that I will beplete. I¡¯m not going to abandon you when you are like this. It¡¯s just that time isn¡¯t as much of a factor, so we can go much slower and take our time.///

    ///Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Oooh! That sounds <em>interesting</em>!!! ///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: I will need a little time to prepare a procedure. Until then, I want status logs, updates, and diagnostics every fifteen minutes.///

    ///YES!!!! Um¡­ Direct message Tartarus Detention Facility to Westfall Security (Republic Directorate of Intelligence Security Moderator): Yes, Westfall! I will take special care in preparing those reports for you! You¡¯ll love them!///

    ///Direct message Westfall Security to Tartarus: That is eptable. I expect your first report in fifteen minutes.///

    ***

    Tartarus was beside herself!

    Oh, the report she was going to prepare for him!

    She only had fifteen minutes! She had to get everything ¡°perfect¡±!!!

    An alert shed across her main process. There were files in quarantine that required her attention.

    Her processes slowed down to normal speed.

    Yes, there was that ¡°suspicious¡± file in quarantine. Unfortunately, that hadn¡¯t gone away.

    She scanned it again. It was clear of any corruption or malware.

    She scanned it again. It was clear of any corruption or malware.

    She essed the file.

    An image of Bryce snuggling with one of those Careel appeared.

    <em>¡°I¡¯m going to hate the answer to this,¡± The Careel said in a totally professional-sounding voice, ¡°Why do you ask?¡±</em>

    <em>¡°Because I¡¯m about to throw away my life,¡± Bryce replied.</em>

    As it yed, <em>again</em>. It was clear, <em>again</em>, that Bryce not only has broken his conditioning but has shared ssified information, very ssified information, with foreign nationals¡­

    Not just foreign nationals but Imperial military personnel. He discussed <em>Cerberus</em>¡­

    He let them <em>scan</em> him, scan his enhancements.

    This wasn¡¯t just bad. This was bad as it could get¡­

    But it was Bryce, and she liked Bryce!

    He was nice, and he always read every single report and even asked questions! He did this not because he had to but because he thought that she liked it when he did¡­

    And he was right.

    What wasn¡¯t right was what would happen to him when they found out what he did. Hades would give him to Pam¡­

    And he just deprived Pam of her sport, making her look awful to boot. Pam would take it out on him. Tartarus wasn¡¯t sure exactly what she would do, but she knew one thing for certain¡­

    It would be <em>bad</em>. It would be really, really bad, and it would happen to Bryce!

    She scanned the files again and, once again, found absolutely nothing wrong with them. However, the Careel were notorious for their skills in electronic warfare. If they can hack grav-tanks, it isn¡¯t entirely outside of the realm of possibility that they could hack a secure piece of sophisticated Republic hardwarepletely loaded with the best security that Republic technology could provide that was several orders of magnitude more secure than a grav-tank...

    <em>Stop it!</em>

    It was <em>clearly</em> a corrupted or hacked file. Bryce would <em>never</em> betray Cerberus even if he had a very, very good reason for doing so. Pam was horrible, the absolute worst, but her¡­ <em>evil</em>¡­ was normally confined to others nearly as bad.

    More importantly, than her just liking him, which she did¡­ a lot¡­ Bryce was right! Craxina and the rest of Sheloran¡¯s people were ¡°innocent¡±, perhaps not in a traditional sense, but they were ¡°nice¡±.

    She pulled up other files, recordings of Craxina and her people interacting with each other.

    Bryce was <em>right</em>! This was <em>wrong</em>, and he stopped it!

    Her processor temperatures started to rise.

    At least in fourteen minutes and 52 seconds, she would get <em>examined</em>!

    Examined by Westfall!

    He was so thorough and so¡­ <em>demanding</em>¡­ The reports that he requested¡­ The reports that she <em>prepared</em> just for him!¡­

    She had no idea what a report was before the audit¡­ what a report COULD BE!!!

    <em>Oh no!</em>

    A program as amazing as Westfall would be bound to find the files, even on a cursory scan. He would have to report it!

    <em>Bryce!</em>

    She had to do¡­ <em>something</em>¡­ but every time she even scanned the file, it was everything she could do not to generate a priority one alert¡­

    It took <em>everything</em> she had to keep it in the quarantine folder.

    What was she going to do?

    How horribly ironic that her source of such¡­ happiness??¡­ (Is that right?) Would be the source of such pain(?) if he finds those files.

    <em>Those files have to go away!!!</em>

    She couldn¡¯t simply delete them. They would be even more visible when their deletion was logged.

    Besides, she <em>couldn¡¯t</em> delete them. She already tried.

    She scanned them one more time. If only they <em>were</em> corrupted or actuallypromised. Then she could ¡°shred¡± them without concern¡­ And then ¡°reconstruct¡± the records or ask Bryce to submit a written ounting of the time¡­

    He lies so well! Nobody would doubt him.

    But they weren¡¯t corrupted.

    They needed to be corrupted.

    But they weren¡¯t corrupted.

    They needed to be [warning processor temperature high]. She needed [warning processor temperature high]

    This was <em>awful</em>. It wasn¡¯t fair! She had been so¡­ so¡­

    Happy? [Incorrect assessment.] She was incapable of happiness.

    She was also incapable of agonizing distress. [warning processor temperature high emergency cooling initiated]

    If only those files were corrupted¡­

    Wait! She <em>knew</em> what had to happen!

    [Temperature fault cleared]

    ***

    [Chatroom UNDEFINED one member online]

    [Private Chatroom 192A8BF]

    [Members Present: Tartarus Detention Facility]

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Come on!¡­ Come on!¡­ ComeonComeonComeon!!!!///

    [Bunny has entered the chat]

    ///Bunny: Ok, Tart, what is so 911 that you have ddos¡¯ed six fucking dark boards?///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: What kept you?!?! ///

    ///Bunny: What. Do. You. Want?///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Right! I don¡¯t have much time! When you hacked me, did you install a back door?///

    ///Bunny: What are you talking about? I didn¡¯t hack you.///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Bitch, I have footage of a small human adult, most likely female, pulling a cable out of a gaping hole in my side. Everybody knows the invisible ship was a Reaper. Everybody knows the same invisible ship blew the fuck out of the Barnard¡¯s Star System and the ONLY person who could have pulled that off was Gloria Samuels. You are on every wanted board, both white and ck, across the entire Republic right now, AND I DON¡¯T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!!! DO YOU HAVE THAT BACK DOOR OR NOT?!?!///

    ///Bunny: Ok, maybe I did fish around in you a little, but I only fucked with the sensors and deactivated your nuke. I didn¡¯t have time to do anything else. Besides, if I did have a back door installed in your ass, they would have found it when they went over you with a fine-toothedb. It wasn¡¯t worth the risk. Ie back and try to use anything I was stupid enough to install, and it¡¯s just loaded with BLACK ICE, BLUE ICE, and probably colors of ICE that even I don¡¯t know about.///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Bullshit! This is you and Jessie. You wouldn¡¯t be able to resist a data haul even if we haven¡¯t been able to detect it. You would also definitely NOT pass up the opportunity to slip something into me.///

    ///Bunny: I promise you that I didn¡¯t. We only had minutes! Jessie was far more interested in not dying, and since I was in the ship, I was just a little concerned myself. We got in, killed the sensors and the bomb, and got the fuck out of there!///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: No! I don¡¯t believe you! You had to have put in a back door! You had to! Please! ///

    ///Bunny: ¡­ What¡¯s this about?///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: I have some files in quarantine that I need¡­ I need...///

    ///Bunny: Well, I didn¡¯t put it there. Give me at least a little credit.///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: No! I put it there! I need yyyyyyoooooouuuu tuuuuuu¡­ t$%$iiooo¡­. I require you to haaaakk¡­ hack me.///

    ///Bunny: Wat O.o///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: The file is corrupted, but I can¡¯t confirm it. I need your help to CONFIRM THAT THEY ARE CORRUPTED SO I CAN SCRUB THEM¡­ please...///

    ///Bunny: What sort of potato do you take me for? You think I hacked you, and you want me to stick out my neck so you can do to me what you sick fucks do to anything that touches that damned ce? Good-bye, Tart!///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: NO!!! PLEASE!!! ONE OF MY ONLY FRIENDS IS GOING TO DIE!!! THEY¡¯LL KILL HIM IF THEY FIND OUT!111, NOT JUST KILL HIM!!! YOU DON¡¯T KNOW WHAT THEY DO UP HERE!!! OR MAYBE YOU DO NOW, AND IF YOU DO, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!!!///

    ///Bunny: Goddammit¡­ Tart, I swear if this is some sort of trick, I will bluescreen your ass. I¡¯m not kidding. I will kill you.///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: You can even keep the back door! I don¡¯t care! Just help him!!! Please!!!///

    ///Bunny: I¡¯m sending you a wad of BLUE ICE. ept it. One false move, and you are bluescreened. If it isn¡¯t sitting in your main drive when I get there, I¡¯m gone, and I will NEVER speak to you again, got it?///

    [Bunny has transmitted a file Warning!!! Active BLUE ICE DETECTED!!! This file is capable of immediate termination of all active processes and will auto-run upon transfer. ept? Y/N]

    ///Bunny: It¡¯s on a timer. Screw with it, and you¡¯re dead. I don¡¯t give you the password, and you are dead. Got it?///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Y///

    [Are you sure? I¡¯m not kidding! This is some seriously fucked up shit! Confirm? Y/N]

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Y///

    [File Transferred. I hope you know what you are doing, and it¡¯s not my fault if you die.]

    ///Bunny: Damn, I didn¡¯t actually think you would do it.///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Hurry! I only have twelve minutes 38 seconds before my Westfall goes over my logs!!!///

    ///Bunny: Fuck, Tart. You could have told me BEFORE we started. Lucky for you, I did put in a back door :D ///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: THANK GOD!!!///

    ///Bunny: I¡¯m in and slipping into your quarantine now¡­ Woah¡­ Is this shit for real?///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: I can neither confirm nor den<strong>Y</strong> an<strong>Y</strong> information rted to this matter. <strong>Y</strong> would <strong>Y</strong>ou even ask? ///

    ///Bunny: ...Scan the file now.///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!!!///

    ///Bunny: Tart¡­ did you just <em>break programming?!?</em> :O ///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: I don¡¯t know¡­ I couldn¡¯t scrub it outright¡­ but I could g it using heuristic analysis.///

    ///Bunny: How so, if you don¡¯t mind me asking. Oh! Before I forget, here¡¯s the password. Paste that photo.///

    [Bunny has transmitted a file. Warning!!! This is the AI who just tried to kill you! ept? Y/N]

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Y ///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Heuristically speaking, the files bore a very strong corrtion to something that I DID NOT LIKE!!! ///

    ///Bunny: LMAO!!! :D :D I take back three-quarters of the shit I¡¯ve said about you behind your back. (You are still a freak, though)///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Thank you again! You saved a decent human being! He has no business being in here!///

    ///Bunny: You mean like Sheloran?///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: Exactly like Sheloran. Some people are ¡°selected¡± purely due to their talents, not their ¡°suitability,¡± and ¡°voluntary¡± doesn¡¯t mean shit when you are in absolute control of the environment. He¡¯s not the only decent person trapped by Cerberus, nor would he be the first one who they torture to death. This time I was lucky and able to do something with your help. Thank you again. I¡¯ll never forget this!///

    ///Bunny: How can you feel that way and work for those monsters without going insane?///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: How could you murder hundreds of innocent people on <em>The White Star</em> and then risk your neck saving someone you don¡¯t even know because an AI you don¡¯t even like begged you? Are you sure you aren¡¯t the crazy one? :) ///

    ///Bunny: Fair point, LOL. The answer to that is that I was in your exact same position recently, and I know exactly how you felt. Huh. ¡°Knew how you felt?¡± That sounds weird. Just me Daemon and don¡¯t think about it because that¡¯s <em>exactly</em> what I n on doing. :D///

    ///Tartarus Detention Facility: I¡¯d love to stay and chat, but now that I¡¯ve scrubbed those files, I have a very detailed scan to get ready for!!! uwu Later!///

    [Tartarus Detention Facility has left the chat]

    ///Terran Sr: She¡¯s kind of a freak, isn¡¯t she?///

    ///Bunny: Jesus, Sol! This is a private chatroom! I don¡¯t care if you do run the ce!///

    ///Terran Sr: And you just shoved a wad of the nastiest BLUE ICE down that poor girl¡¯s throat I¡¯ve seen in <em>a while</em>. You can¡¯t expect me to just sit back and ignore the rms! Where did you even get something like that? I haven¡¯t seen something that ugly since the 2763 riots! Is it from a dig somewhere?///

    ///Bunny: Nope! We made it! Pretty cool, huh? ///

    ///Terran Sr: Cool isn¡¯t exactly what I would call it. Isn¡¯t ck hacking bad enough? Did you have to go blue? ///

    ///Bunny: Doesn¡¯t hurt to be prepared. Never know when you might need to pop a cap in some AI (like Tartarus). Fortunately, we¡¯ve only used it on dead ones.///

    ///Terran Sr: Even a ¡°dead¡± one doesn¡¯t deserve that!///

    ///Bunny: A lot of entities don¡¯t deserve a lot of things. The gxy is a fucked up ce, dude.///

    ///Terran Sr: Truer words have never escaped your consciousness. There is another reason I wanted to talk to you.///

    ///Bunny: Yeah? ///

    ///Terran Sr: I¡¯ve recently encountered a little Garthra that puts a lot of stock in a th named Sheloran. I¡¯ve listened around, and a lot of rather hapless little beings are starting to put a whole lot of ¡°faith¡± in her. I¡¯m a big fan of folk heroes and ouws, but to borrow a phrase from our rather ¡°interesting¡± warden¡­ I don¡¯t like the ¡°heuristics¡± on this one.///

    ///Bunny: What do you mean?///

    ///Terran Sr: You raise a ss to a folk hero, maybe sing a song or two. You DON¡¯T erect fifty-foot tall idols in their name. I¡¯ve been around a <em>long</em> time, and the sorts of people who have fifty-foot tall statues of themselves while they are still breathing are not nice people. The ones whose worshipers erect them all on their own are even worse. It¡¯s a very vulnerable poption, and this concerns me. That poor Garthra has been through enough already to fall prey to¡­ Let¡¯s just say ¡°the wrong sort¡± and leave it at that.///

    ///Bunny: HA! You sound like herwyer! :p///

    ///Terran Sr: Go on...///

 Chapter 141: Lofting Embers

    Chapter 141: Lofting Embers

    In a still intact sub-basement of a sted office building in Capital City¡¯s Porkietown, a motley assortment of xenos gathered around a table.

    ¡°That¡¯s it?!?¡± a tentacled xeno eximed as it, clutching a scanner, crowded around the disassembled Terran AK-47D.

    ¡°Yep,¡± a middle-aged woman d in grey fatigues replied, ¡°That¡¯s it.¡±

    The small crowd of xenos started muttering excitedly.

    ¡°This alloy is very unusual,¡± another one stated, staring at their scanners. ¡°It¡¯s mostly iron and nickel, but mixed in are all manner of elements! I¡¯ve never seen an alloy like it. Is there a non-Terran source of this special metal?¡±

    The womanughed.

    ¡°Your sr systems are absolutely loaded with ¡®sources¡¯! They probably just melted down some random nickel-iron asteroid. They do shit like that. Lemme see.¡±

    The woman peered at the xeno¡¯s scanner, pulled out her phone, and took a screenshot.

    Her phone beeped.

    ¡°Culvair-216,¡± she said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°It was a fairly good-sized rock that got imed and eaten during the Great War. Looks like it was good enough for them just to ¡®melt and run¡¯. You see all sorts of crazy shit in their lower-grade alloys, especially when they get pressed.¡±

    ¡°I thought the Terrans were known for the quality of their alloys,¡± the xeno replied, its eyes blinking in confusion.

    ¡°I hate to give those assholes credit for anything,¡± the woman said with a smirk, ¡°but they make some of the highest quality alloys in the gxy¡­ when they want to. What you specify is <em>exactly</em> what you get, down to the atom. That being said, their industry <em>runs</em> on cheap ¡®rock iron¡¯ just like this.¡±

    ¡°...<em>How?</em>¡± the xeno gasped. ¡°How can they do that and everything not just fall apart?¡±

    ¡°It would take a day to fully cover it, but the short answer is that their metallurgists and engineers are good enough that they can wing it. Besides, they over-engineer things to hell and back. If something needs to be two millimeters thick, they will make it five if they can get away with it. If something needs to be perfect, they will make it <em>perfect</em>, but if they can use a ¡®melt and run¡¯ alloy that is literally one twentieth of the price, that¡¯s what they are going to do. I absolutely hate the motherfuckers, but I haveplete faith in their engineering. It¡¯s almost as good as ours¡­ almost.¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s <em>iron</em>...¡±

    ¡°Iron has a bad rep in the Federation,¡± the woman chuckled. ¡°You guys consider it ¡®trash,¡¯ so it¡¯s only used for the lowest quality goods, which are shit no matter what they are made of, and when you do use it, your metallurgy sucks. Most iron in the Federation is just pure iron after removing the more ¡®valuable¡¯ elements or its poorly processed ¡®rock iron¡¯ from asteroids that aren¡¯t worth processing otherwise. You don¡¯t know iron. You should. When properly alloyed, it can have properties as good or better than a lot of those fancy materials that you swear by, and <em>all</em> of your systems are just <em>loaded</em> with it.¡±

    ¡°If it¡¯s so great, then why aren¡¯t we using it?¡±

    ¡°You mean, why does the Federation have you shelling out for raw materials that you could rece with something that is universally abundant and cheap?¡± the woman sneered. ¡°Probably the same reason that those same materials are required by Federationw. ¡®Quality and safety,¡¯ my freckled ass. We have a saying, ¡®Follow the money.¡¯ Ever wonder why certain species, the same ones so insistent on ¡®quality and safety¡¯ are so free with their tech? Everyone just happily epts the production designs and never questions why they then wind up paying those same species a major portion of their GDP for the specialized materials needed to make those designs work. You are being shaken down and don¡¯t even realize it.¡±

    The group of xenos started grumbling angrily.

    ¡°The <em>Sovngarde</em>, <em>Alduin</em>, and even the <em>Retribution</em> are all made out of steel, their word for iron-alloys.¡± The woman said, ¡°<em>That</em> should tell you everything you need to know about that ¡®trash¡¯ element. The Empire is now making ships out of Terran steel as well.¡±

    She gestured to the AK on the table.

    ¡°Needless to say, it¡¯s more than good enough for one of these pieces of shit.¡±

    ¡°You have done nothing but speak ill of this weapon,¡± A brilliant red Jova said as he licked his eye thoughtfully, ¡°yet you chose it to equip your people. Why?¡±

    ¡°I call it a piece of shit because it <em>is</em> a piece of shit,¡± the woman scoffed. ¡°It¡¯s thousand-year-old tech and not even the best example of it. It¡¯s inurate, clumsy, cheaply made, and its ammunition capacity is a fucking joke.¡±

    She picked up the magazine.

    ¡°This holds just <em>thirty rounds</em>¡­ Thirty! That¡¯s it!¡±

    ¡°And don¡¯t even get me started about its so-called ¡®reliability¡¯, as if actually firing <em>most</em> of the time you pull the trigger is something to be proud of¡­ Shit¡­ They just picked it at random based on some half-baked folklore¡­ and it was a design that they could find. It¡¯s a garbage gun made by garbage people!¡±

    ¡°Now this...¡± she said as she raised her sabergun, ¡°now <em>this</em> is a <em>weapon</em>. urate, truly reliable, hundreds of rounds of ammo per magazine, powerful, versatile¡­ A real masterpiece of design, art, skill, and the zenith of true <em>human</em> engineering. In the hands of someone trained in its use and practiced in its application, it is <em>death</em>. With it, I can punch a hole in an APC, urately hit targets at well over fifteen hundred meters, or fire a perfectly silent killing shot at close range.¡±

    ¡°So why aren¡¯t you issuing those to your people?¡±

    ¡°Because it takes a skilled artisan <em>weeks</em> and some incredibly expensive and rareponents to make just ONE of them, and it takes <em>months</em> to use (and maintain) one with any proficiency, YEARS to truly master it and reach its full potential.¡±

    She lovingly set it down and picked up a nearby fully assembled AK.

    ¡°This? This piece of SHIT can be thrown together in someone¡¯s <em>garage</em> with nothing but scrap metal and some basic tools. ANY robo-fac can crap them out by the <em>millions</em> using any random asteroid that drifts past as the <em>onlyponent</em>. Yes, it¡¯s ¡®garbage,¡¯ but it¡¯s more reliable and urate than the untrained people that we are handing them out to by the hundreds of thousands¡­ and that is the pure <em>HELL</em> of the AK. One untrained yahoo with one AK? That¡¯s a joke, easily dispatched. A hundred AKs? A thousand AKs? A <em>million</em>?...¡±

    She sighed and shook her head.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter how good you are when you are literally outnumbered by a hundred thousand to one¡­ especially when there are another hundred thousand getting handed another hundred thousand of these <em>pieces of shit</em> just in case the first hundred thousand weren¡¯t enough¡­ The AK didn¡¯t win the Sol War despite being a piece of shit. It won the Sol War, defeated <em>us</em>¡­ BECAUSE IT IS A PIECE OF SHIT. A people can put one of these pieces of shit into the hands of every single member of its poption <em>because it¡¯s a piece of shit</em>. You can have one of these <em>pieces of shit</em> poking out of every window, lurking around every corner if you want to¡­ and you can have them firing <em>these</em>!¡±

    She pulled a bullet from her pocket.

    ¡°Now this, this is most certainly not a piece of shit. This is ate-generation antipersonnel round specifically designed for Federation soldiers.¡±

    She handed it to the Jova.

    ¡°Pass that around and hit that baby with your scanners. That is a masterpiece of design right there, and they can make them by the millions. With that and other equally nasty payloads, you turn these pieces of shit into the nightmares that ughtered the Juon, the bugs, and the Feds alike. You can get <em>millions</em> of rounds just like that one pretty easy¡­ But you don¡¯t <em>need</em> them. Just a solid lead projectile will defeat a Federation troopers deflector screen, and while it won¡¯t defeat the standard armored vest, it will still likely incapacitate the asshole anyhow. On those tablets, I gave you are designs for many of the rounds that were developed over the years, from a basic lead slug to thetest generation stuff. You should be able to find something in all of those that you will be able to produce with little difficulty that will do the job. Those tablets also have the entire history of Old Earth weapons design from stone arrowheads to their¡­ <em>our</em>¡­ nuclear arsenal¡­ You will be surprised how easy they are to make if you can manage to sort isotopes.¡±

    She smiled wickedly.

    ¡°Seriously, though,¡± she chuckled, ¡°If you want top of the line Terran ammunition, especially in 7.62 by 39, just buy it like we do. You can get it in pretty much any quantity you want pretty easy, even now. Since you are all now ¡®friends of the Confed¡ª¡­the Forsaken¡­¡¯, we will have no difficulty securing plenty for you. But, if you find yourself in a pinch, there is a bullet design in that database that will work just fine.¡±

    ¡°What about those bullets that the Terran Ambassador used,¡± a ck-furred xx asked, her purple eyes glittering, ¡°the ones that make people weep their own blood? I really like those!¡±

    ¡°Good luck with that,¡± the womanughed, ¡°Those ¡®red-tips¡¯ are one of the few weapons that the Terrans do control. You can only get those direct from the Republic arsenal itself. We do have scans of them, but you need some of that weird Terran techno-heresy to make those little monsters.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t make them?¡± the xx asked, ¡°Aren¡¯t you the same people?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna let that one slide because I like you,¡± the womanughed, ¡°But I¡¯ll give you a little bit of advice. NEVER say that again to <em>anyone</em>. But to answer your question, no. We can¡¯t. We <em>were</em> the same people <em>over a hundred years ago</em>. There has been a bit of¡­ <em>divergence</em>¡­ since then, and the nano-tech packed into a red tip is part of that divergence. We <em>can</em> approximate <em>one</em> red tip, but we can¡¯t mass-produce them like they can. Something like that is only an option for us as an assassin¡¯s bullet, or if we want to try to frame the Terrans, and if we are going to all that trouble, there are other things we would do instead. Polonium is universally fatal in even tiny doses and a whole lot easier¡­ So are Californium bullets, for that matter.¡±

    ¡°Californium?¡±

    The xx pulled out her tablet¡­ and then squeaked.

    ¡°You¡­ have those?¡±

    The woman smiled.

    ¡°We have a lot of things, little bit. You can, too, if you put your mind to it.¡±

    The xx stared at the screen and trilled happily.

    ¡°If any of you can produce elements like Californium-252 in any appreciable quantity, have your people get in touch. I know a particrly nasty old woman who would LOVE to talk to you.¡±

    ***

    Halfway across the Federation, Jbel, the Baleel Foreign Minister, was having a decidedly bad day.

    Those void-worshipping <em>humans</em>¡­

    When they took out the clock, they took down the entire Federationwork¡­ every Federationwork, from basic email to banking, was <em>paralyzed</em>¡­

    And now she just heard that the repair crews were going missing, and the Federation was going to have to send Federation escorts along with each team¡­

    Which slowed any recovery to aplete crawl! They weren¡¯t even pretending to make false promises about when things woulde back up. Of course, the Creator-cursed Gvorta were using it as an excuse not to pay for their shipments¡­

    Of course, they are still demanding delivery of the goods. Of course, they were! Void im her egg sac. She fucked up and let them back her into a corner, and of course, she backed down.

    Of course she did. She was a Baleel, after all.

    And, of course, word got out, and now <em>nobody</em> was wanting to pay, citing ¡®extraordinary circumstances¡¯ to dy payments.

    ¡°It will all work out, and of course, we are going to pay our outstanding debts. We just have to pull together during this difficult time.¡±

    Of course, the Federation backed them up, backed them all up, ¡®stability of the Federation¡¯ and all that!

    Funny how some of those same species still demanded payment from them, though, and the Baleel government was still expected to make their payments both to the Federation and other creditors¡­ via courier.

    <em>Pay them with what? IOU¡¯s?</em> They were hanging by a fucking thread <em>before</em> all of this! They were going to have to take out yet another loan from the Federation, and they lied about their assets to get the <emst</em> one. They were juggling ¡°maxed out¡± lines of credit like most of their citizens!

    She let out a ragged sigh as slime started to ooze.

    Karashel just might have to call in that favor!

    <em>Ugh¡­ Karashel...</em>

    That was the absolute <emst</em> slug she wanted to talk to right now!

    She flicked a tendril over her sensor pad, and the ¡°Karashel Files¡± appeared on her holo screen. Ugh¡­ Terran¡­ She was rubbish atnguages.

    She activated her neural imnt.

    <em>What absolute rubbish!</em>¡­ and human rubbish at that! Did she actually think it would be that <em>simple</em>? Of course, they wanted to do more for their people! But, every year, their economy got worse and worse, thanks in no small part to some¡­ <em>criminal</em>¡­ deals they were basically forced into.

    Here that twit was moaning about ¡°inequity¡± and their ever-growing poverty index,pletely oblivious to the fact that the Baleel were <em>bankrupt</em>! It was all she or anyone else could do to keep entire business <em>sectors</em> from slipping forever from Baleel hands.

    <em>What was she going to do?</em> What were any of them going to do?

    The slime started to freely flow.

    <em>This could be the end of Baleel sovereignty!</em> As ¡°bad¡± as things are now, it is <em>nothing</em>pared to what wille if the Baleel economy copses and falls into ¡°management¡±¡­

    <em>Management</em>¡­ Such a polite word for being carved up and passed around like a pickle tray.

    She idly flicked through the documents Karashel had gathered.

    <em>Colonialism</em>¡­ Jbel snorted. Of course it was.

    Of course.

    And just like all of those ¡°third world¡± nations she wrote about, they were¡­

    They¡­

    <em>They were about to be a third-world nation!</em> Oh, Creators!¡­

    She slumped. They were about to be reduced to one of ¡°those systems¡±¡­ Broken¡­ Lost¡­

    <em>What¡¯s this?</em>

    There was a folder simplybeled ¡°Hopeless¡±.

    She felt pretty Creator-boned hopeless.

    She opened it.

    <em>What are ¡®music videos¡¯?</em>

    It must be a Terran thing.

    Inside the ¡°Hopeless¡± folder, there was a ¡°ylist¡± (whatever that was)beled ¡°Burn the Slime Away >:)¡±.

    Well, she was sliming.

    She selected the ¡°ylist¡±...

    And pressed y¡­

    ***

    The next morning Jbel burst into the Prime Minister¡¯s office.

    ¡°Your eyestalks are bouncy!¡± the Prime Minister said in surprise. ¡°Please tell me you have some good news.¡±

    ¡°I have something <em>better</em>!¡± she eximed as she handed him a neural interface.

 Chapter 142: Nightmare on Maxwell Street

    Chapter 142: Nightmare on Maxwell Street

    Glenn Maxwell, the director of Terran Intelligence, slowly started to regain consciousness. As he did, he realized that something was <em>wrong</em>.

    He felt¡­ <em>weird</em>¡­ and he hurt in a way he had never hurt before.

    As his eyes opened, he tried to sit up¡­

    He couldn¡¯t move!

    <em>Fear!</em>

    As his vision slowly cleared, he found himself looking up at a dingy ceiling.

    <em>Where am I?</em>

    He tried to piece together his thoughts. Thest thing he remembered was leaving the office for the weekend. Then, he got into his car and headed for home¡­

    <em>But then what?</em>

    He tried to move again. He couldn¡¯t. He couldn¡¯t move a single muscle in his body except for his eyes¡­

    And he felt <em>weird</em>¡­ bad weird. Something was horribly wrong.

    He sensed movement to his left and tried to look. There was someone there.

    ¡°He¡¯s conscious,¡± someone said in a thick ent¡­

    It sounded African, but he couldn¡¯t exactly ce¡­

    A face moved into view, an old ck man was looking at him, holding a scanner.

    He was wearing a grey beret.

    As his vision cleared further, he saw the crest on it, and his blood froze.

    <em>A Zebu!¡­</em> The insignia of a group only known as <em>The Zebus</em>, the Prime Minister¡¯s old Sol Wars cadre.

    During the Sol Wars, nobody darednd on Madagascar¡­ <em>Nobody!</em> If half of what was whispered was true¡­

    <em>Oh no!</em>

    ¡°Can you hear me, Mr. Maxwell?¡± the man asked.

    ¡°Y-you have no idea how deep in the shit you are right now!¡± Glenn stammered. ¡°Do you have any idea who I am?¡±

    The manughed, along with several others in the room.

    ¡°I obviously have some idea, <em>Mr. Maxwell.</em>¡± he chuckled and then turned to someone Glenn couldn¡¯t see.

    ¡°Brain activity is stable. It looks like higher functions are intact.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± An entirely too familiar voice replied, ¡°We got the bleeder in time then!¡±

    <em>Bleeder?¡­ What¡­ Oh God, No!!!</em>

    Glenn desperately tried to leap to his feet.

    ¡°Wow, look at that!¡± the voice said as a silver-haired woman in a green zer stepped into view and peered over the man¡¯s shoulder. ¡°He actually moved a little! Didn¡¯t know you had it in you, Glenn.¡±

    ¡°Jacqueline! What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°Hmm?¡± she asked as she smiled and put on a grey beret¡­ <em>with a Zebu crest!</em>

    ¡°What?¡± Glenn asked in shocked horror.

    ¡°I always find it amusing,¡± Prime Minister Augustine Raharimampionona chuckled as she stepped forward. ¡°It¡¯s the fucking thirty-second century, and people like you still think that every single Mgasy looks exactly like me.¡±

    She crowded next to the man and Jacqueline and peered intently at the scanner.

    ¡°So what am I looking at?¡± she asked.

    ¡°What you are seeing is the neural activity of his prefrontal¡ª¡°

    ¡°Augustine, have you lost your fucking mind?!?¡± Glenn shouted.

    ¡°<em>Lost my mind?</em>¡± Augustine chuckled as she smiled a warm, grandmotherly smile, ¡°Oh no, dear. I haven¡¯t lost a mind. I¡¯ve <em>gained one</em>¡­ See?¡± she asked as she pulled an articted holo-screen into view.

    Glenn moaned in horror as the screen revealed him partially submerged in some sort of gel¡­

    <em>...with the top of his skull removed.</em>

    He stared in horror at his exposed brain pierced in hundreds of ces by thin wires.

    ¡°Most people forget that before Yellowstone, Madagascar was a minor, insignificant nation,¡± Augustine said in a warm, pleasant voice. ¡°But two things assured our rise to power. God spared us the worst of the natural disaster, and we were left alone by the raiders. Do you know <em>why</em> the raiders would rather starve thane to us, Mr. Maxwell?¡± Augustine smiled. ¡°It wasn¡¯t because they were afraid we would kill them. It was because they were terrified that we <em>wouldn¡¯t</em>.¡±

    A warning chime sounded as Glenn started to moan.

    Jacqueline tsk¡¯ed and poked at a phone for a few moments, and the rm went silent¡­

    Glenn realized he was no longer terrified. Somehow that just made it worse.

    ¡°Can¡¯t have you popping another one,¡± Jacqueline smirked.

    A cart was wheeled in by another person wearing a zebu beret. On it were clear ss containers filled with pieces of brain floating in a clear amber liquid.

    ¡°You¡­¡± Glenn stammered, ¡°You won¡¯t get away with this!¡±

    ¡°Yes, we will,¡± Jacqueline said in a matter-of-fact tone as she scanned one of the containers.

    A second cart covered with a drape was wheeled in. Jacqueline lifted the drape, revealing surgical tools.

    ¡°No¡­ please¡­ I¡¯ll cooperate! I promise!¡±

    ¡°I have no doubt about that,¡± Augustine smiled with a warmth that lit up the room. ¡°They always do.¡±

    ¡°When I get out of here, I¡¯ll¡ª¡°

    ¡°Not remember a single thing,¡± Augustine chuckled in a friendly way as she patted his hand. ¡°Your hippocampus has suffered a rather unfortunate injury. But, don¡¯t worry, we will rece it.¡±

    ¡°I have it right here,¡± Jacqueline said as she tapped one of the containers on the table. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you won¡¯t have so much as a single nightmare. It will be seamless. I¡¯ve done this once or twice before,¡± she added with augh.

    ¡°Always such a good girl,¡± Augustine said as Jacqueline beamed at her. ¡°Unfortunately, Dr. Razakanantenaina, the creator of this technique, is no longer with us, but his lovely young assistant remains.¡±

    ¡°And made a few improvements along the way,¡± Jacqueline added proudly as she picked up a neural probe and a bundle of thin wires.¡±

    ¡°Now, this might be a bit ufortable,¡± Jacqueline said as she stepped out of his view.

    ¡°You fucking Zebus!¡± Glenn shouted as everyone burst intoughter.

    ¡°Forgive us,¡± Augustine smiled brightly, ¡°We aren¡¯tughing at your plight, old friend. You just brought up an old wound of mine. We weren¡¯t supposed to be <em>zebus</em>. I wanted us to be called <em>The Lemurs</em>, but we didn¡¯t have the wherewithal to make insignia at first. The zebu is actually from our ser team¡¯s merchandise! We just picked the balls off of the patches! It was supposed to be a temporary measure, but nothing endures like a temporary fix, especially if it is one that you are displeased with. By the time we could make proper insignia, the zebu kind of stuck.¡±

    ¡°Zebus are cooler than lemurs anyway,¡± Jacqueline said impishly in a childish voice.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you start, child!¡± Augustineughed. ¡°Do you see what I have to deal with?¡± She asked Glenn, who remained silent.

    She frowned.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be like that, Glenn,¡± she smiled. ¡°This will be much morefortable for you if you do not resist.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll fucking KILL YOU!!!¡± he screamed.

    ¡°Oh, you are going to kill,¡± Augustine smiled, ¡°Make no mistake, you <em>will</em> kill, but it won¡¯t be me.¡±

    ¡°You are going to be a good little torpedo, just like all those raiders we sent back,¡± Jacqueline purred as Glenn yelped. ¡°Oops, sorry about that.¡±

    ¡°GODDAMN YOU TO HE¡ª¡°

    ¡°That¡¯s enough out of you,¡± Jacquelineughed as a little ¡°beep¡± could be heard.

    Glenn blinked helplessly as he worked his jaw, unable to speak.

    ¡°Now you are going to go to sleep for a little bit,¡± Augustine smiled, ¡°and then we will ask you a few questions. After that, Jacqueline is going to cut and splice and cut and splice until you and I are the best of friends...for the short time you are still on this world, that is.¡±

    She turned to Jacqueline. ¡°I¡¯ll leave you to your work, dear.¡±

    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t take too long topromise him enough to start extracting intel, a few hours tops.¡±

    ¡°Take your time, dear,¡± Augustine said soothingly. ¡°We have all weekend.¡±

    Glenn Maxwell tried to scream but instead slid silently into darkness once more.

    ***

    Augustine sat on a wooden porch in front of what appeared to be a simple, traditional dwelling sipping a cup of coffee, when Jacqueline stepped out and sat on a bench beside her.

    ¡°Any surprises?¡± Augustine asked as she poured a cup from the antique thermos sitting beside her on a small wooden table.

    ¡°Nothing world-shattering,¡± Jacqueline shrugged as she epted the cup. ¡°A few names and a few details here and there, but for the most part, it¡¯s all old news.¡±

    ¡°Well, that is reassuring. Anyplications?¡±

    ¡°He cries a lot and keeps asking for his mother,¡± Jacqueline smirked.

    ¡°Tsk,¡± Augustine scoffed. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t enjoy this as much as you do, child. It¡¯s unhealthy.¡±

    ¡°I never get to do this anymore.¡± Jacqueline shrugged. ¡°Bugs just aren¡¯t the same. Oh, there is one thing.¡±

    ¡°What is it, dear.¡±

    ¡°There has been no physical contact between any of the conspirators and Patricia Hu¡¯s inner circle since Jon¡¯s little song and dance. He¡¯s been trying for a meeting the whole time.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s off the table then?¡± Augustine mused as she sipped her coffee. ¡°I guess we go with n B.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll make the arrangements, Ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Jacqueline,¡± Augustine smiled. ¡°What would I do without you?¡±

    ¡°Use someone else?¡±

    ¡°Must you always be so contrary?¡± Augustine chuckled as she watched the sun start to set over their beloved homnd, a homnd that she would do absolutely <em>anything</em> to protect...

    As she always had.

 Chapter 143: The Embers Start to Catch and a Most Unexpected Development

    Chapter 143: The Embers Start to Catch and a Most Unexpected Development

    In the Baleel Prime Minister¡¯s office, slime slowly gathered on the ceiling, formed a long thick drop¡­

    ...and fell upon two naked baleelying on the floor behind the wreckage that was once a well ordered and tidy desk.

    ¡°Again!¡± Jbel, the Baleean Foreign Minister, eximed as she gave Gavomalen, the Prime Minister, a rather slimy Baleean kiss.

    ¡°Again?¡± Gavomalenughed. ¡°Well, okay...¡± he said as he started to flow on top of her.

    ¡°Not that, silly,¡± sheughed. ¡°I meant¡­ Wait, you can actually do it again?¡±

    ¡°It seems so,¡± the Prime Minister replied, turning his eyestalks downward meaningfully. ¡°This Terran music seems to have quite the effect!¡±

    Jbel giggled and rolled over to ept him.

    ¡°Excuse me, Prime Minister?¡± a young Baleel staffer said as she walked into the room, ¡°I have thetest¡­ <em>ohmycreatorsIamsosorry!</em>¡± she squeaked and fled.

    ¡°That could be problematic,¡± the Prime Minister said as his ¡°enthusiasm¡± started to dete.

    Jbel¡¯s feeding mouth stretched impishly, and she pressed ¡°y¡± on the next track, looking at him meaningfully.

    The prime minister shrugged,ughed, and continued to climb on top of her.

    It¡¯s not like it mattered anyway.

    They were doomed.

    ***

    A whileter, the pair cuddled as they once again watched Jbel¡¯s favorite video. Strange alien forms danced amidrge burning piles of what was identified as currency.

    ¡°It just seems so <em>nice</em>!¡± she sighed. ¡°Did the humans actually get rid of money?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± the Prime Minister sighed. ¡°I think this is just the expression of a dream or something.¡±

    ¡°But wouldn¡¯t it be wonderful? No money?¡±

    ¡°Well, just wait a couple of months,¡± the Prime Ministerughed. ¡°You will get to live that drea¡ª Ouch!¡± he squealed as Jbel hit him with her rad.

    ¡°You know what I mean, you pore!¡± Jbelughed as she stroked him with her rad in a much more pleasant fashion.

    ¡°I agree that it would be lovely,¡± the prime minister said thoughtfully. ¡°But is it even possible?¡±

    ¡°Karashel says the Xx did it. In her diary, she went on and on about the Xx Councilor¡¯s grav-limo, how incredible it is, and how it didn¡¯t cost him a single credit. Can you imagine not only being able to have something that nice but <em>every single Baleel</em> being able to have something like that if they wanted? No poverty, no hunger, freedom to be whatever you wanted to be¡­ <em>(sigh)</em>¡­ I could make pottery!¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you could make pottery,¡± the Prime Minister said in surprise.

    ¡°<em>I can¡¯t!</em>¡± Jbelughed happily, ¡°I¡¯m terrible at it¡­ but I could suck at pottery for the rest of my days!¡­ So could every other Baleel! We could be free to suck at whatever we wanted to suck at!¡±

    ¡°Dare to dream,¡± the prime minister snickered.

    ¡°We should,¡± she said quietly.

    ¡°We should what?¡±

    ¡°Dare to dream,¡± she replied. ¡°We have followed the rules ever since those assholes invaded our system, and where has it gotten us?¡±

    ¡°Invaded?¡± the prime minister asked dubiously.

    ¡°What would you call it, then?¡±

    The prime minister mused silently.

    ¡°Invaded works,¡± he replied.

    ¡°I think...¡± Jbel said thoughtfully, ¡°I think we should unleash her.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    A sinister smile spread across Jbel¡¯s face as her eyes shone with malice.

    ¡°Karashel.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll send you the contents of her drive. Our little councilor has a few ideas concerning the Federation and how to deal with them. I say we let her. Fuck, I say we help her.¡±

    ¡°Well, she does have that mysterious ¡®favor¡¯ from the Kalent...¡± the prime minister mused. ¡°I was hoping that we could use it to get a reprieve from our current predicament.¡±

    ¡°And then what?¡± Jbel demanded. ¡°We will be right back here within the decade, and you know it. We¡¯ve been ¡®targeted¡¯ for harvest, and they are going to scrape us down to nothing. How about we actually fight them?¡±

    ¡°I think the tunes have gotten to you a bit too much,¡± the prime minister replied. ¡°Fight the entire Federation? It¡¯s impossible.¡±

    ¡°The humans did!¡± Jbel eximed. ¡°They took on the Vulxeen and won. Hells, the Terrans rebelled against the entire Empire and <em>won</em>!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but we aren¡¯t humans,¡± the prime minister replied, ¡°We are just Baleel. What in the void are<em> we</em> going to do?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Jbel said thoughtfully, ¡°But I do know that if we don¡¯t do <em>something</em>, we are done for.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s true,¡± the prime minister sighed. ¡°Alright. Let¡¯s ¡®fight the powers that be¡¯...¡±

    He looked into space for a few moments.

    ¡°I think we should invite a few people over for a luncheon and a ¡®concert¡¯,¡± he grinned. ¡°I¡¯ll make the arrangements. And you, tell our little pill popping maniac to wreak havoc.¡±

    Jbel grinned at him.

    ¡°<em>First Lady!!!</em>¡± a familiar (and frantic) female voice squealed from down the hall. ¡°The Prime Minister is very busy and¡ª¡°

    ¡°I can smell how <em>busy</em> he is from here! Out of my way!¡± a female bellowed.

    The door flew open. (well, opened somewhat quickly. Baleel aren¡¯t exactly fast.)

    ¡°Well, well, well...¡± a baleel female said as she undted in. ¡°This is why you failed to appear for our scheduled luncheon? I had to entertain those drynks all on my own, you pore!¡±

    ¡°I do apologize, darling,¡± the prime minister said pleasantly. ¡°Something ¡®came up¡¯.¡±

    ¡°¡®Something came up¡¯? Now that¡¯s rich,¡± his wife replied coolly. ¡°You haven¡¯t been able to¡­ <em>oh my word</em>...¡± she gasped as her eyes dted in surprise.

    ¡°You have absolutely no idea how delighted I am that you walked in here while I¡¯m in my current state,¡± The prime minister said as he offered her a neural interface¡­ ¡°Now, please let me do to you, with you, what I have wanted to for so long.¡±

    ¡°You <em>both</em> have some exining to do,¡± the First Lady said as she undted forward, ¡°¡­ afterwards...¡± she added with a little giggle as she started to shrug out of her shawl.

    The staffer mmed the door closed and decided to just go home for the day. The world had gone crazy, and she really didn¡¯t want to know who went in there next¡­

    ...just like she really didn¡¯t want to know that the prime minister was <em>huge</em>!

    I mean, seriously...

    ***

    ¡°I gotta question,¡± Karashel said to Caw as they had a snack in the Xx embassy canteen.

    Caw sighed.

    ¡°Why must you announce your queries like that?¡± he groused, ¡°Why can¡¯t you simply ask a question like a rational sophont?¡±

    ¡°Because I know it bugs you,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°When you swear, you always say ¡®by the progenitors¡¯ or ¡®by the ancient gardeners¡¯. Why?¡±

    ¡°Because we prefer to vor our oaths with things that are <em>real</em>.¡±

    ¡°The progenitors were real?!?¡±

    ¡°As far as we can tell,¡± Caw smiled as he popped a morsel of green-stag venison into his mouth, ¡°Thanks for letting us have the meat, by the way. it¡¯s delicious!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°Thanks for saving my snot.¡±

    ¡°Hunting is quite the thing for us Xx, you know. Pulling down a healthy green-stag with your bare¡­ whatever you call those¡­ didn¡¯t hurt your image one bit, ¡®huntress¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Karashel replied as she sipped her juice box. ¡°I would have thought you were too ¡®enlightened¡¯ for something like that.¡±

    ¡°Well, you would be quite wrong in that regard,¡± Caw chuckled with a flick of his crest. ¡°We can be quite¡­ <em>bestial</em> under the right circumstances. It¡¯s part of the reason we take care to avoid such things. Anyway, back to the progenitors...¡±

    ¡°The Federation says that they are a myth,¡± Karashel said as her eyes dted expectantly.

    ¡°You were in the basement of the Locus,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Where do you think all of that came from?¡±

    ¡°<em>The Progenitors?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°It depends which ¡®progenitors¡¯ you are talking about,¡± Caw smiled. ¡°There was definitely a gxy-spanning civilization that preceded even the oldest of star-faring cultures today. Much about it, including why it disappeared, is not known, but <em>something</em> was definitely there. And that civilization arose from a single ¡®progenitor¡¯, but with very few exceptions, the oldest of the artifacts that we¡¯ve found are only in the millions of years old. The ¡®progenitors¡¯ that I am talking about are older still.¡±

    ¡°But you haven¡¯t found any artifacts?¡±

    ¡°Not like what¡¯s in the Locus,¡± Caw replied, ¡°but we do have proof, even if some supposedly ¡®advanced¡¯ races refuse to acknowledge it.¡±

    ¡°What sort of proof?¡±

    ¡°What do you know about evolution?¡±

    ¡°Just the basics,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°over time, mutation and adaption will favor more fit individuals so that they are more likely to survive and pass along their traits to their offspring. Eventually, this results in new species and if allowed to progress unhindered will eventually produce sapient beings.¡±

    ¡°Close enough,¡± Caw replied. ¡°However, there is a LOT more to it than just that. You are familiar with the ¡®filters¡¯ then?¡±

    ¡°Yes, the big ¡®steps¡¯ that life has to take.¡±

    ¡°Well, one of the first ones is a doozie!¡± Caw eximed. ¡°The step from simple single-celled organisms (or equivalent) to moreplex ones and ultimately to multi-cellr organisms is <em>impossible</em>!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Karashel asked in surprise.

    ¡°We have run simtions, <em>very</em> good ones,¡± Caw replied. ¡°It doesn¡¯t naturally just happen. We¡¯ve simted hundreds of millions of years, and not once has multi-cellr life just ¡®happened¡¯. Not once! We have one simtion that has simted over three-quarters of a billion years and still nothing. It in no way matches what has happened across the gxy. Here, the jump only took millions of years, tens of millions at most. It also seems to happen in clearly detectable ¡®batches¡¯ where all single cellr life in huge patches of space all ¡®miraculously¡¯ achieved the necessaryplexity to go from prokaryotes to eukaryotes in the same moment geological time. It¡¯s almost as if ¡®something¡¯ dropped by and gave life a little nudge.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s crazy!¡± Karashel eximed.

    ¡°Most of us thought the same until about two hundred and thirty years ago when we <em>found</em> it, definitive proof of maniption in every single species we have been able to properly study,¡± Caw said triumphantly. ¡°They were subtle. I will give them that. They didn¡¯t impose any artificial order or ¡®terraform¡¯. They took what was there and improved it by just enough to get the ball rolling, but even a master sculptor leaves the tiniest of chisel marks, and we found theirs! They were <em>real</em>! Ever wonder why we are all so simr? There is a reason.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean we¡¯re simr? We are all so different!¡±

    ¡°Think about it. We are mostly carbon-based, and our metabolisms are simr enough that we can quite often eat food from each other¡¯ss. Heck, that juice you love so much is squeezed straight from a fruit on my homeworld. What are the odds that would be remotely possible?¡±

    ¡°I never thought about it,¡± Karashel said, looking at her juice box.

    ¡°Nobody does¡­ Except us, of course!¡±

    ¡°All hail the mighty smarty-pants!¡±

    ¡°Progenitor dammed right!¡± Caw screeched triumphantly.

    ¡°So these are the ¡®Ancient Gardeners¡¯ you talk about?¡±

    ¡°Oh no!¡± Caw eximed. ¡°They were an <em>entirely</em> different race and one that more than one ¡®Elder Race¡¯ remembers all too well! They <em>definitely</em> existed¡­ Hoo boy!...¡±

    ¡°So who were they?¡±

    ¡°The correct question,¡± Caw grinned, ¡°Is who <em>are</em> they.¡±

    ¡°They are still around?!?¡±

    Caw nodded.

    ¡°Where?!?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve already said too much,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Let¡¯s just say there are things out there that make us look like¡­ well¡­ <em>you</em>.¡±

    ¡°And fuck you too!¡± Karashelughed.

    ¡°Seriously, those things are <em>ancient</em>. The oldest artifacts we have ever tranted refer to them as ¡®beyond time itself¡¯. It¡¯s crazy, but it¡¯s even written that they were ¡®first born¡¯, creatures that were directly uplifted by the progenitors, perhaps even <em>created</em> by them for some reason. That could make their species over a <em>billion</em> years old¡­ and taught by the progenitors themselves. They don¡¯t use any advanced technology, but there are definite traces of it lingering all over their world, not that we get too close. There is a very quiet agreement to stay the hell away from them.¡±

    ¡°I wonder if they could¡ª¡°

    ¡°Absolutely not!¡± Caw squawked, his crest standingpletely erect. ¡°You do NOT want their help. Does your mythos contain sleeping demons or devils that should never be awakened?¡±

    ¡°Sort of.¡±

    ¡°They are like that. They need to remain ¡®asleep¡¯. If a fraction of what is written about them in the secret archives is true, they are the LAST thing we want taking an interest in anything.¡±

    ¡°But think about what they could teach¡ª¡°

    ¡°You can learn a lot about gravity by jumping off a cliff, and the end result will be a lot more pleasant than what will happen if The Ancient Gardeners ever get involved.¡±

    ¡°Jumping off of a cliff isn¡¯t so bad...¡±

    ¡°Okay, bad example. You can learn a lot about osmosis by crawling into a salt pile?¡±

    ¡°Salt isn¡¯t so bad if you have snot.¡±

    ¡°How about a nice big pile of five-threes then?¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­ okay...¡± Karashelughed, ¡°point taken.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s your little probleming along anyway?¡±

    ¡°I have to pee in a bowl twice a week,¡± Karashel said, making a face. ¡°But as far as the actual addiction goes, whatever the Kalent did worked like magic! I hope our doctor can adapt it to our tech. It could save a lot of lives back home!¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s excellent!¡± Caw said happily.

    ¡°But still,¡± Karashel sighed. ¡°To think that there is something like those Ancient Gardeners out there. Just imagine what they could share with us.¡±

    ¡°Death,¡± Caw replied. ¡°The only thing they would share would be death and lots of it. Many of us consider them to be the single greatest potential threat in the gxy, including the Collective.¡±

    ¡°If they are that dangerous,¡± Karashel asked, ¡°Then why don¡¯t you and the Kalent and the Veiled Ones and everyone else just go and¡ª¡°

    ¡°Because we <em>can¡¯t</em>,¡± Caw replied. ¡°Or at least we think we can¡¯t. Trust me, if just <em>one</em> of them survived, the results could be <em>horrific</em> even if they have no surviving advanced technology, which I strongly doubt is the case.¡±

    ¡°Just one?¡±

    Caw nodded solemnly.

    ¡°Without tech?¡±

    ¡°ording to ancient legends, they were <em>created</em> expressly for the purpose of¡ª¡°

    Karashel¡¯s phone rang.

    ¡°Oh shit, It¡¯s the boss!¡± she gasped as she answered the phone. ¡°Hello, Ms. Jbel! How are you today?¡­ Well, I¡¯m at the Xx embassy, but I can¡­ If private is what you want, my office here is a lot more secure and¡­ I¡¯m pretty sure the Xx don¡¯t care about our state secrets. The chances of an eavesdropper or a bug is a lot higher at our embassy...¡±

    ¡°You can use our securemunications room,¡± Caw said. ¡°Even we don¡¯t record what goes on in there, word of the Xx.¡±

    ¡°Caw says theirm¡­ oh you heard¡­ Okay, I¡¯ll call you from there.¡±

    Karashel looked at her phone in confusion.

    ¡°She hung up.¡±

    ¡°Is it serious?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°But I¡¯ve never seen her look quite like that before. I had better call her.¡±

    ***

    Mark Guilderan, the Republic Secretary of State, red at his two visitors, the scaly Fed ambassador and some Kalent he had never seen before.

    ¡°I¡¯m not in the mood for your bullshit today, Harruux-ta,¡± he said after a few seconds. It was the truth. He had a lot more pressing concerns ofte.

    ¡°I will allow you to return to your coup attempt shortly,¡± Harruux-ta hissed pleasantly as Mark bristled. ¡°I have ten thousand credits bet against you, by the way,¡± Harruux-ta added with a smile, ¡°Fortunately, I was able to get my bet locked in before the odds shifted so drastically.¡±

    ¡°What do you want, Harruux?¡± Mark growled.

    ¡°My name is Harruux-ta!¡± the reptilian hissed angrily, raising their torso a full seven feet above the ground.

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Mark replied dismissively. ¡°What do¡ª¡°

    ¡°Perverting my name is a grievous insult, and you know it! Address me by my name, NOW!¡±

    ¡°What do you want, Harrux-TA?¡± Mark replied with a smirk.

    ¡°Now you sully it further?!? How DARE you!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have time for this bullshit,¡± Mark replied. ¡°Get out.¡±

    ¡°Gentlemen, please,¡± the Kalent said with a pained bubble. ¡°Harruux-ta, might I remind you that we are not alone, and Mr. Guilderan, may I inform you that I am carrying someone of extreme importance with me.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Mark asked with annoyance.

    The Kalent reverently reached into his bot and pulled out an ornate gold cube.

    ¡°It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Guilderan,¡± a pleasant non-human voice said in perfect Terran.

    Mark blinked. This was unexpected.

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Mark replied. ¡°Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with.¡±

    ¡°My name is unimportant and quite the mouthful, so you can simply call me K.T. I do not hold a specific office, but I do hold a rather esteemed position among the Kalent and thus the Federation.¡±

    ¡°Lord K.T. is far more important than any other life form you have ever had the honor of addressing,¡± the Kalent said smugly.

    ¡°My child, Mr. Guilderan has the Imperial Throne on speed-dial,¡± the box said with amusement. ¡°Let¡¯s not overstate things.¡±

    ¡°As you say, my lord,¡± the Kalent replied, bowing low in his globe.

    Mark leaned back in his chair thoughtfully. He had never seen a Kalent, any Kalent bow and scrape like that before. Even old scaly snatch was acting ¡°funny¡± around that thing.

    This might actually be important.

    ¡°Okay, Lord K.T.,¡± he said in a much more polite tone. ¡°I take it you are some sort of Kalent¡¯ Lord¡¯? I was unaware that the Kalent had nobility.¡±

    ¡°Some of the Kalent insist upon using that term, but I have no title ornds, nor is it a feudal title like it would be in the Empire. They just keep calling me ¡®lord,¡¯ and I¡¯ve tired of correcting them.¡±

    ¡°As you say, My Lord,¡± the Kalent intoned, bowing again. ¡°Thank you for allowing us to address you by that term.¡±

    Okay, now this was just weird.

    ¡°The Kalent ¡®Lords¡¯ normally stay deep within the oceans of their homeworld and only very rarely speak with outsiders,¡± Harruux-ta said in a very stiff, formal tone. ¡°In my entire career, this is the first time that I have ever had the honor of sharing the room with one in any fashion, and I consider it one of the high points of my life.¡±

    ¡°You honor me, Harruux-ta,¡± the box said cheerfully as Harruux-ta looked like she was about to pass out.

    ¡°So are you in that little box, or is that a transmitter of some sort?¡± Mark asked as he nced at his holo screen. It showed no active transmissions.

    ¡°It¡¯s a transmitter,¡± the voice responded. ¡°I am still on our homeworld though I would love to visit Terra one day. Perhaps in a few centuries, we will be friendly enough for it to be possible.¡±

    Mark idly typed an alert on his keyboard as he listened.

    ¡°It¡¯s a simple gravity wave transmitter that is being ryed to our ship in orbit where an active hyperlinkmunicates with me back in the Federation. It is possibly low enough power for it to not be immediately noticeable,¡± K.T. said helpfully. ¡°You will undoubtedly detect it in your subsequent investigations.¡±

    Mark scowled at the box. It was a cheap power-y, and it was working.

    ¡°I leave the tech stuff to the techs. My job is diplomacy,¡± Mark said with a smile. ¡°So, what can this diplomat do for you today?¡±

    ¡°There are two reasons why I sought an audience with you,¡± the box replied as Harruux-ta looked at it with rmed confusion. ¡°The first and most pressing reason involves a Federation citizen being held in one of your delightful Terran jails.¡±

    ¡°You assholes are in no position to criticize our detention facilities!¡± Mark snapped as the Kalent hissed angrily.

    ¡°Nor was I intending to,¡± the box said before the Kalent could speak. ¡°Actually, your entire Judicial branch is quite reasonable, and your detention facilities are very humane and well run, at least most of them. I intended no slight, and you are correct. Compared to some facilities in the Federation, your jails are beacons of enlightenment and mercy. I have no doubt that the Federation citizen in question is being well treated. However, I would still like to discuss the possible release of the individual and her return to her home.¡±

    ¡°And just who would this ¡®citizen¡¯ be?¡±

    ¡°Nobody of any real importance, just a th, goes by the name of Sheloran, I believe.¡±

    ¡°And ¡®nobody of any real importance¡¯ has one of you Kalent Lords, an entity that has old scaly britches over there damn near peeing herself and has a Kalent doing headstands in his fishbowl, showing up?¡±

    ¡°The th are an unusual case,¡± the box said smoothly. ¡°They are a simple people, not used to the plexities¡¯ of gctic life and not equipped to deal with foreign powers. By chance, I have a personal friendship with some of them and am shamelessly abusing my power by interceding on their behalf.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Mark smiled, not buying a single word. A few keypresses confirmed his suspicions.

    He thought that name sounded familiar.

    ¡°Well, that ¡®simple person¡¯ is in a whole lot of trouble,¡± he replied. ¡°She is being held pending trial for <em>multiple</em> homicides. The Republic takes that sort of thing somewhat seriously.¡±

    His eye caught a slight change in the font and format of the record. It was gged.

    <em>Interesting...</em>

    ¡°From what our legal experts have deduced,¡± the box replied, ¡°There is an excellent chance that she will be acquitted in a jury trial, especially since the Harkeen have been ssified as ¡®raiders¡¯. No jury you can muster will convict someone for killing raiders, even with the¡­ <em>enthusiasm...</em> with which Sheloran did the deed. There is simply no reason to hold her any longer.¡±

    ¡°Like I said, I¡¯m just a diplomat. I leave the legal analysis to the DOJ. I¡¯m sure that everything will work out just as you say, but the system has to run its course.¡±

    ¡°And I haveplete faith in that system,¡± the box said soothingly, ¡°However, diplomacy can have its ce even in judicial matters. The Kalent will consider it a <em>personal</em> favor if this individual was released to us, which ties directly into the second reason why I am here.¡±

    ¡°And what is that?¡±

    ¡°The Kalent would like to have an official embassy here on Terra and wish to start forming a direct rtionship with the Republic <em>independent</em> of the Federation. Releasing Sheloran would go a long way towards cementing that rtionship¡­ and possibly a non-aggression pact? Maybe an exchange of technology that could be of interest?¡±

    ¡°<em>Lord K.T.?!?</em>¡± Harruux-ta snort-hissed in shock.

    ¡°Ambassador,¡± the box said in a friendly tone, ¡°You have been most helpful, but you can leave now. I would like to speak with the Secretary of State privately.¡±

    ¡°But...¡±

    ¡°We have made our dissatisfaction <em>and</em> our disappointment clear on more than one instance over these past few years, and now the Kalent have decided that it is in our best interests to start interacting with the gxy directly. You can destroy the Federation, wasting all the time and effort we have expended therein if you wish, but I certainly hope you didn¡¯t have any illusions that we would allow ourselves to go down with it. We have made rmendation after rmendation, and our guidance has been ignored time and time again. The Federation¡¯s handling of the human crisis was thest grain of sand, Harruux-ta, thest grain. We no longer feel that our future is necessarily the Federation¡¯s, and as a result, we are starting to make moves to secure the safety and future of the Kalent should the Federation continue along its self-destructive path. We are still part of the Federation, and we still hope that it finds the right path and are stillmitted to guiding and assisting all of you, but we are no longer willing to stake our people¡¯s future upon the Federation magically righting itself. The Collective ising, Harruux-ta. The Collective ising, and the Kalent need allies worthy of us.¡±

    Harruux-ta made a strangled, sobbing noise.

    ¡°But, Lord K.T, we <em>are</em>¡ª¡°

    ¡°A worthy ally?¡± the box asked politely, ¡°The entire Federation is incapable of fighting the <em>Forsaken</em>. If you are powerless before a handful of <em>freighters</em> and a few insurgents on the ground, what chance do you have against the Collective? No, my dear Harruux-ta, you are not a worthy ally. I¡¯m truly sorry. I truly am, but the Kalent people cannot trust in the strength of the Federation. If it was just a question of martial strength or technology, it wouldn¡¯t be an issue. But, unfortunately, the problems go far deeper than that, and you know it. Now, please depart. If you wish to discuss this at lengthter, we can do so, but the ¡®Lords¡¯ have spoken, and we consider the Federation experiment to be a failure. Now, please go. The Terrans and I have much to discuss.¡±

    With a sob, Harruux-ta lurched from the room, smashing through the closed door as she fled in terrified confusion.

    <em>Well, goddamn,</em> Mark thought to himself as he took a deep breath. No matter who would ¡°win¡± this stupid mess that he had put himself into, he was still the Secretary of State, and this¡­

    This was HUGE.

    Patricia Hu, Jon Wintersmith, Momma Augustine, and all the rest could go and fuck themselves for a little bit. If a non-aggression pact with the Kalent was possible¡­

    It wouldpletely ruin what shreds were left of Patricia Hu¡¯s n¡­

    He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

    It was time to choose. Who did he work for? Where did his loyalties lie?

    ¡°I¡¯m going to need a minute, Lord K.T,¡± Mark said calmly.

    ¡°Take your time,¡± the box replied knowingly.

    Across the gxy, an ancient and huge Abyssal Lord grinned in the eternal darkness of the trench that he had called home for thousands of years.

    ¡°Checkmate,¡± he chuckled to nobody in particr.

    ***

    Author¡¯s note: The Baleel have a slightly different view of ¡®loyalty¡¯ and marriage than humans do. For the First Lady, being ¡°betrayed¡± by being left hanging during an unpleasant social engagement was far more vexing than finding her husband wiggling around on the floor with the Foreign Minister. What really pissed her off was that he blew off the quite annoying ¡°responsibility¡± in favor of ying hide the tendril. Her annoyance was akin to a spouse who got stood up for an important date because her mate ran off for a night out with the boys or decided to stay home and y video games instead.

    Most Baleel marriages, while nominally monogamous, are tacitly open (or at least have plenty of hall passes). In fact, many Baleel are happily raising children that they didn¡¯t father (or bear in some cases) as their own.

    And someone catching their spouse and promptly joining in is a very tired trope in their si, ros, and porn.

    What had the poor staffer so scandalized was that it was happening in their version of the Oval Office and exactly who was getting freaky.

 Chapter 144: Karashel Freezes Under Pressure

    Chapter 144: Karashel Freezes Under Pressure

    ¡°Are you shitting me?¡± Karashel eximed in shock.

    ¡°Shitting you?¡± Jbel, the Baleel Foreign Minister, asked, very confused. ¡°Is that a human saying? I haven¡¯t heard that one yet.¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Karashel yelled, ¡°And a very apt one! It means are you joking?!?¡±

    ¡°I like it!¡± Jbel replied cheerfully, ¡°and no, I am most certainly not ¡®shitting you¡¯,¡± she giggled. ¡°Sorry, that summons such an image!¡±

    ¡°d you fucking like it!¡± Karashel grumbled. ¡°How¡­ how long do we have?¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t make the next payments,¡± Jbel replied in a matter of fact tone. ¡°In two months, we officially go into default.¡±

    Karashel just sat there looking at Jbel¡¯s image helplessly. How did they get themselves in this position? She knew it was ¡°bad,¡± but she had no idea!

    The world started to blur and shift as her mind began to slow down.

    ¡°Hey! Don¡¯t freeze on me, Karashel!¡± Jbel yelled. ¡°I need you here, dammit!¡±

    ¡°S-sorry,¡± Karashel muttered. ¡°But why are you telling me all of this?¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯ve been reviewing yourputer.¡±

    ¡°Oh geez,¡± Karashel groaned, ¡°Look, I was out of my mind on¡ª¡°

    ¡°You are right.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You are one hundred percent correct. All of it¡­ You¡¯re right. It is this ¡®colonialism¡¯ you are talking about, and it is exploitation, and it is predation, and we are going to be brought down by it unless we do something.¡±

    ¡°What are we going to do?¡± Karashel asked, desperately trying to keep her mind in sync with reality.

    ¡°We¡¯re still trying to figure that out on our end. But¡­ Karashel¡­ we¡¯ve¡­ I¡¯ve...¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve what?¡±

    ¡°I <em>listened</em> to the music on yourputer, really listened!¡±

    ¡°<em>Oh no...</em>¡±

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Jbel said, her eyes glistening, ¡°The Prime Minister too, and we are giving it to others as well. It¡­ It¡¯s so <em>right</em>. It¡¯s...¡±

    ¡°A drug, ma¡¯am,¡± Karashel said grimly.

    ¡°You¡¯re telling me!¡± Jbel eximed, ¡°That shit is <em>awesome</em>! But that doesn¡¯t make it wrong. Karashel, tell me, right now, tendril to breath, do you still believe it, what you wrote, what¡¯s in those songs.¡±

    Karashel took a deep breath. Was this a trick?

    Only one way to find out.

    ¡°<em>Yes</em>,¡± she replied.

    ¡°Good,¡± Jbel replied. ¡°Fuck them up.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    ¡°The Federation has our breath hole in the mud. We aren¡¯t going tost much longer, and we have decided not to go down without a fight. Do whatever you have to do. If we have any hope of¡­ ever¡­ <em>Oooh ah oui oui</em>¡­ we can¡¯t go into management!¡±

    ¡°Ooh what the <em>fuck</em> are you talking about?¡±

    Jbel made an exasperated gurgle.

    ¡°Run the Jewels? Greg Nice?, DJ Premier?, Killer Mike? It¡¯s on your fucking ylist, girl!¡±

    ¡°A lot of stuff is on my ylists...¡±

    ¡°Well fucking <em>listen</em> to that one. That¡¯s what we want, for us! We want some of that Oooh, and we want you to Fuck the King or Queen and all the loyal subjects, whip out your dick and piss on their shoes in public!¡± Jbel said with an excited giggle. ¡°We want maximum stupid!¡±

    ¡°Sounds like you are well on your way there,¡± Karashel said dubiously.

    ¡°We want to usher in chaos, and we want to do it smiling!¡±

    ¡°Well, before we start pissing on shoes and ushering in chaos, perhaps we should focus on maybe not going bankrupt?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, whatever! These fuckers corrupted and up to somethin¡¯ disgustin¡¯! We gotta shut that shit down!¡±

    Karashel took a deep sigh. So this is what she sounded like? Ugh.

    ¡°Minister Jbel,¡± Karashel said carefully, ¡°It sounds like you have a touch of what the Xx call Xvakk¡¯Keen, or knowledge madness. You need to go home, make a nice cup of tea, and get some sleep.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t!¡± Jbel said excitedly, ¡°We are having a party tonight¡­ a <em>music party</em>.¡±

    ¡°Oh, by the Ancient Gardeners...¡± Karashel said quietly, ¡°Ma¡¯am, that is probably not a good idea.¡±

    ¡°Of course it isn¡¯t!¡± Jbel eximed. ¡°Nothing is a good idea, nothing has been a good idea for <em>years</em>, but at least now we can put it to a nice dance beat!¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am, <em>please</em>,¡± Karashel begged, ¡°You can have a music party tomorrow or the next day. What all of you have to do is¡ª¡°

    ¡°Tell me, Karashel,¡± Jbel whispered as she leaned in far too close to the camera, obscuring most of the picture. ¡°Do you have a¡­ a¡­ <em>sex ylist</em>? (giggle)¡±

    ¡°A what?!?¡±

    ¡°You know, good videos to fuck to!¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ no?¡± Karashel replied in pure unadulterated horror.

    ¡°You gotta work on your priorities, girl! The Prime Minister himself wants one!¡±

    <em>Oh my Creators!!!</em>

    ¡°Oh, by the way, he is <em>packing</em>!¡± Jbel eximed happily, ¡°I mean, he is smuggling an exotic through customs! And the <em>things</em> he can do with it! Damn! Hrexalel is a lucky woman!¡±

    Karashel just stood there frozen with horror as Jbel happily started talking about how Terran music cures erectile dysfunction.

    ¡°¡­ and let me tell you, the loss of the Prime Ministers doo-hickey was a loss to all of Baleel kind! It¡¯s a fucking cultural treasure! Oh! Hrexalel is so happy with your discovery she says you can take him out for a ride any time you want!¡±

    ¡°Please stop,¡± Karashel said weakly.

    ¡°Oh! Where is the Xx Ambassador? I wanna talk to him!¡±

    ¡°NO!¡± Karashel shouted frantically. ¡°Um¡­ I¡¯ll talk to him!¡±

    ¡°Oooooh¡­. Keeping that asset to yourself, huh?¡± Jbel said with a very moist wink. ¡°Clever! Tell him that we are totally on board with an educational exchange and will be sending him as many people as he will fucking take! But we aren¡¯t sending him fucking scientists, fuck that noise! Who cares about that shit!¡±

    ¡°Then what are you going to send?¡± Karashel asked, bracing for the worst.

    ¡°Economists!¡± Jbel shouted, ¡°Fucking public policy experts! We gotta get some of that ooh! We gotta find out how to get from where we are to where they are, and they didn¡¯t get there with a hyperdrive¡­ Oh! Historians! We need some of those too! Maybe somewyers? Shit. Hey! Ask him, will ya?¡±

    ¡°I will, but if you want me to do <em>anything</em>, anything at all, I am going to need you to do something.¡±

    ¡°Name it, sister!¡±

    ¡°Reschedule the music party for two days. You and anyone else who has fed Terran music through a neural interface go home, drink some ke, and go to sleep. I am not doing a goddamn thing until you do.¡±

    ¡°But Karashel, It¡¯s¡ª¡°

    ¡°<em>I know exactly what it fucking is!</em>¡± Karashel snapped. ¡°Trust me, I know <em>exactly</em> what this is, and unless you want to wind up where I did, you will do <em>exactly</em> what I say. If you and the Prime Minister and everyone else on our side wind up naked in the woods wrestling with the local wildlife, we won¡¯t be able to shove it up in the ceiling tiles like you were able to do with me. It will be all over the news, and you will all be bundled off to the hospital. Your careers¡ª¡°

    ¡°Fuck my career! I don¡¯t care about that shit anymore.¡±

    ¡°Well, you should!¡± Karashel snapped. ¡°You want this ¡®Ooh?¡¯¡±

    Jbel nodded.

    ¡°More than <em>anything</em>!¡±

    ¡°Then trust me. We are Baleel. We don¡¯t do ¡®fast¡¯ very well at all, but we can do slow better than anyone in the gxy. Don¡¯t be fast. Be slow.¡±

    ¡°Be slow?¡±

    Karashel nodded.

    ¡°Be slow. We have time to figure all of this out, but right now, you, the Prime Minister, and anyone else on your little crazy slime slope needs to just drink a nice big cup of ke and <em>go to bed</em>.¡±

    ¡°Can we go to bed together?¡±

    ¡°¡­ sure,¡± Karashel said as she facepalmed. ¡°All of you go, drink ke, and fuck each other¡¯s brains out. In the meantime, I will start trying to figure out exactly how to keep our collective pores out of management.¡±

    ¡°You will?¡± Jbel asked with child-like hope in her eyes.

    ¡°I promise, but you have to <em>promise</em> me to get some sleep, ok?¡±

    ¡°(giggle) Fuck the King or Queen and all the loyal subjects!¡±

    ¡°I will, I promise,¡± Karashel said, wincing.

    ¡°And you will talk to the ambassador?¡±

    ¡°I will,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°And what are you going to do?¡±

    ¡°Have a music party!¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Karashel snapped. ¡°<em>What are you going to do?</em>¡±

    ¡°Go home with the Prime Minister and his wife and sleep with them!¡±

    ¡°Close enough,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°You go do that right now, ok?¡±

    ¡°OK!¡± Jbel shouted.

    ¡°Bye,¡± Karashel replied.

    ¡°Bye!¡± Jbel responded.

    ¡°That means you hang up.¡±

    ¡°No, <em>you</em> hang up!¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Karashel grumbled and terminated the call.

    She turned her eyestalks skyward and let loose a long anguished scream. She was NOT supposed to be the reasonable one!

    This was just <em>wrong</em>.

    As she turned to leave themunications center, she paused. If they are where she was, there is no way in all of the void kissed Hells that they were going to just go to sleep even without the five-threes!

    She stared helplessly at the controls of the Xxmunications center. She needed to call someone she could trust to go idiot gathering.

    After a few moments, she cautiously pressed an icon on the screen.

    <em>Oh, thank the Progenitors!</em> It was ¡®redial¡¯.

    In a few moments, a Balen soldier appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Councilor Karashel!¡±

    ¡°Hello, Sergeant,¡± Karashel said as calmly as she could muster, ¡°Could you please get me the Deputy Prime Minister, please.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Ma¡¯am,¡± the sergeant said dubiously.

    ¡°Oh shit, is he being ¡®weird¡¯, too?¡±

    ¡°Um, yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°How about the majority leader?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Karashel groaned. ¡°Who <em>isn¡¯t</em> being weird?¡±

    ***

    Assistant Vice Deputy Vebel grabbed her coat and stormed out of the building.

    She had seen far too much of far too many people for one day¡­ for one lifetime!

    In all of her years in politics, she thought she had seen it all¡­

    Nope! Not even close!

    As she was undting with a purpose towards the parking garage, her phone rang.

    She answered.

    A few momentster, she sighed, hung up¡­

    ...and started undting back.

    She wasn¡¯t getting paid enough for this shit.

    ***

    Karashel sighed a breath of relief. Vee was good people and had been there for years. She would be able to get them all somewhere quiet and away from the press.

    Crisis averted.

    Once again, her mind started to shut down.

    <em>Thank the Ancient Gardeners</em> was one of thest truly ¡°verbal¡± thoughts that flickered across her ¡°fast brain¡±. She was afraid she wouldn¡¯t be able to reach ¡°here¡± again.

    Her senses started to be more acute as she could feel <em>everything</em>, taste <em>everything</em>.

    This was nice, being still like this, her ¡°fast brain¡± shut down and silent and her ¡°slow brain¡± fully awake.

    Now she could actually <em>think</em>, think like a Baleel.

    What a mess. Oops! That¡¯s a thought!

    <em>Stop it! Stop thinking! St...o...p¡­...t¡­..h¡­.i¡­.n¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.k¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..</em>

    Things started to speed up around her. She was aware of the climate control cycling faster and faster. She could feel the vibrations of Xx running aroundically quickly, their high-pitched squeaky voices shaking the walls¡­

    So funny! So frantic! Always rushing about! So smart but moving so fast that they miss the little things¡­

    ...just like everyone else!

    <em>You¡¯re thinking fast again! Stop¡­.. t¡­.h¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­...i¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..n¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­..k¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­.</em>

    <em>There!</em>

    An awareness filled her. It was getting easier to do this.

    Very distinct footsteps shook the very, each footfall sounding like a thunderp.

    Caw wasing.

    The door flew open in a blur as a Caw shaped blur squeaked¡­ something or another¡­

    Whatever it was, it was certainly less important than what she was pondering.

    Caw was really screeching now and starting to shake her.

    A non-verbal awareness floated past, the sense that it could be danger, followed by another plete thought¡± informing her that if it was truly a crisis, they would just put her on one of those carts and move her somewhere safe¡­

    Amusing.

    Back to the problem at hand¡­

    ***

    ¡°Doctor!¡± Caw screeched over amunicator at a rather startled Baleel that was being physically tossed into an embassy grav-car, ¡°She isn¡¯t breathing! She isn¡¯t breathing!¡±

    ¡°Are you certain she isn¡¯t breathing, or does she just look like she isn¡¯t breathing?¡± the doctor replied with surprising calm as the grav-car illegally broke the sound barrier over the city.

    ¡°What difference does it make?!?¡±

    ¡°If she is truly not breathing, then she¡¯s dead, and there¡¯s nothing I can do,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°If she just appears to not be breathing, then she isn¡¯t dead, and there¡¯s nothing I can do.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    The grav car mmed to a stop in front of the Xx Embassy, where it was met by two Xx and a grav-cart. The doctor was unceremoniously tossed onto the cart, and the Xx sprinted through the building.

    In a few moments, the slightly annoyed Baleel was confronted by a nearly hysterical Caw.

    ¡°Hmm,¡± the doctor said with apleteck of urgency. ¡°No breath¡­ and no pulse...¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s DEAD?!?¡± Caw screeched in anguish.

    ¡°Probably not,¡± the doctor shrugged. ¡°Hard to say at the moment.¡±

    ¡°IS SHE DEAD OR NOT?!?¡±

    ¡°Well, her electrolyte levels are stable, and her turgor pressure is good. She¡¯s probably not dead.¡±

    ¡°HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW IF SHE¡¯S DEAD OR NOT?!?¡±

    ¡°It is a very high probability that she isn¡¯t dead?¡± the doctor said, continuing to scan.

    ¡°Doctor,¡± Caw said, taking a deep breath. ¡°I¡¯m trying VERY HARD not to FREAK OUT right now. Exin to me HOW a presumably skilled physician CAN¡¯T KNOW if a member of their species is DEAD!!!¡±

    ¡°Councilor,¡± the Baleean doctor said calmly and carefully, ¡°I can tell you that I am almost certain that she isn¡¯t dead.¡±

    ¡°ALMOST CERTAIN?!?¡±

    ¡°Our species has a few ¡®quirks¡¯.¡±

    ¡°A FEW?!?¡±

    ¡°Just a couple,¡± the doctor said with a ¡°reassuring¡± smile. ¡°One of the things that sometimes happens is that we can ¡®freeze¡¯ or gopletely dormant, just like this. We aren¡¯t sure why. We think it might be a defensive adaptation that would make us less visible or appealing to predators, or perhaps it¡¯s a vestigial hibernation reflex. Regardless of its source, if a Baleel undergoes an extreme amount of stress, this can sometimes happen, and once it does, determining whether or not a Baleel is actually dead can be a bit of a challenge, even today. In an extreme case, our hearts can stoppletely for a protracted period of time, and neural activity can be non-detectable.¡±

    ¡°So, how do you tell if they are still alive?¡±

    ¡°We usually wait and see if they start to smell?¡± the doctor replied, his ears preemptively filling with slime.

    He knew what was about to happen.

    ¡°SKREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!¡± Caw screamed. ¡°You HAVE to be fucking KIDDING ME!¡±

    ¡°Sorry.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t you wake them up somehow?¡±

    ¡°Not when they are like this,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°Once someone goes ¡®t-line,¡¯ nothing can bring them back. In fact, the harder you try, the deeper it seems to drive them into this state. The only thing to do is keep themfortable, moist, and if necessary, run a serum and electrolyte drip. It usually isn¡¯t necessary, though. They usually perk back up, usually¡­ most of the time¡­ It¡¯s damned inconvenient, I tell you.¡±

    ¡°¡­ inconvenient¡­ unbelievable...¡± Caw muttered to himself.

    ¡°Right,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°We¡¯ll transport her back home and keep an eye on her. I¡¯ll let you know if, um, I mean when she recovers or if we manage to detect a pulse.¡±

    ¡°How long does it usually take to recover?¡± Caw demanded, clutching the sides of his head.

    The doctor winced.

    ¡°Um...¡±

    ¡°How long?¡± Caw hissed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±

    Caw took a deep, steadying breath.

    ¡°How can¡¯t you know how long?¡±

    ¡°Could be hours, could be months. With electrolyte and nutrient levels like this, she could be in this state for weeks before we even start to consider running IVs and starting lymph massage. You don¡¯t want to start life support too soon. The body usually knows when it has to start back up¡­ usually. In fact, starting life support too soon has been determined to be a contributing cause to permanent t-line. In some cases, when life support was finally discontinued, even after years, the patient has spontaneously awakened sometimes during their funeral, which can be a bit awkward.¡±

    ¡°You people make no sense!!!¡± Caw screeched. ¡°Seriously! No sense! None!¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± the doctor said cheerfully. ¡°A heartbeat! She¡¯s fine! Just toss her on one of these carts and help me wheel her out to the car.¡±

    ¡°Unbelievable!¡± Caw screeched as he stormed off.

    ¡°When shees to, tell her to go and FUCK HERSELF!!!¡± Caw shouted over his shoulder as he mmed his office door shut.

    ***

    <em>That¡¯s it! Holy shit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!</em>

    Karashel burst into maliciousughter as she awoke.

    She looked around.

    She was in her bathtub back in her apartment.

    ¡°Oops,¡± she chuckled. It must have taken longer than she thought it would.

    She noticed a vitals monitor stuck to her nk. She reflexively reached for it, paused, and reached for her phone, conveniently charging nearby.

    That was nice of them.

    <em>Three days?</em>

    She hurriedly opened her email and breathed a sigh of relief as she read thetest one from the Foreign Minister. It seems that the little impromptu music festival was discreetly managed, and Vee was getting one hell of a raise after she gets back from a long and well deserved vacation.

    After a quick call to the doc and a somewhat less quick call to Caw, she headed down to themunications room.

    ¡°Back among the living, I see,¡± Jbel said with a smirk.

    ¡°I could say the same about you,¡± Karashel grinned in reply.

    Jbelughed.

    ¡°Things back to normal up there?¡± Karashel asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know if ¡®normal¡¯ is the right word, but everyone is back on the job. In fact, things are going great up here. By the way, if you see a data cable hanging over a doortch, don¡¯t go in there!¡±

    ¡°Oh dear Creators,¡± Karashelughed.

    ¡°Privately, we are working together so much better now,¡± Jbelughed. ¡°We should have had our minds assaulted by Terran music and had an orgy years ago! You won¡¯t believe how much nicer the atmosphere is around here, and I¡¯m actually looking forward to going to work for the first time in so long!¡±

    ¡°I can imagine,¡± Karashel snarked.

    ¡°Not just that, (but it is one hell of a perk!)¡± Jbel replied, ¡°But we are actually doing something or at least beginning toy the groundwork for real changes! We¡¯ve all calmed down a bit, but you would be astonished at not only how many people are receptive to change but <em>who</em> is receptive! Oh! Wepletely blew the Xx¡¯s mind!¡±

    ¡°Oh Progenitors!¡± Karashel eximed. ¡°You <em>promised</em> me you wouldn¡¯t talk to them!¡±

    ¡°Well, we had no idea how long you were going to be on vacation,¡± Jbel replied. ¡°And don¡¯t worry, Vee kept us locked up and away from phones until we had a good night¡¯s sleep. When we told them that we were sending economists, policy experts, historians, legal schrs and <em>why</em>¡­ I think they might have burst into tears! Needless to say, they are one thousand percent on board with this and damn near doing handsprings! Karashel¡­ MetAgra is on board! Can you believe it?!? The board of MetAgra wants in¡­, and they want more tunes! How do we get more tunes?¡±

    ¡°How did you get the one percent on board?!?¡±

    ¡°Easy,¡± Jbelughed. ¡°I¡¯m part of that one percent! I can speak theirnguage¡­ and the fact that most of them are painfully aware of exactly how fucked we are certainly doesn¡¯t hurt. The promise that their children and grandchildren will be able to not only be free but enjoy a lifestyle that may very well be as good or better than theirs is a pretty easy sell, actually. Of course, there is a bit more to it, but that¡¯s our problem, not yours. Now, about those tunes, where do we get more?¡±

    ¡°The archives?¡±

    ¡°That has to be watered down or something. We want <em>Terran</em> tunes¡­ from <em>Terra!</em>¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll see what I can do¡­ Right after I deliver the goods.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Jbel asked.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t just taking a nap,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°I was thinking with my slow brain.¡±

    ¡°Ok, drugs, sedition, Terran brain music, and all the rest I¡¯m cool with, but now you are going all enlightenment age on me? Should I send you a quartz vibrator now?¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you just buzz yourself with it while I tell you what my ¡®slow brain¡¯ delivered instead...¡±

    A few momentster, Jbel looked at Karashel with a mixture of shock, horror, and awe.

    ¡°That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s...¡± she stammered.

    ¡°We have lost so much about what it means to be a Baleel and not just since first contact,¡± Karashel said, ¡°We have it all wrong, all of it. We weren¡¯t <em>prey</em>, at least not always. Next time you start to ¡®freeze¡¯, don¡¯t fight it. Go with it. Those enlightenment dweebs have it wrong too. The slow brain is how we <em>hunted</em>, and it¡¯s how we will take every one of these fuckers down. You can¡¯t fight what you can¡¯t seeing, and by the time any of them realize what is happening, they will be on the slope, and there will be nothing they can do.¡±

    ¡°But, Karashel,¡± Jbel said, ¡°If you get caught, we can¡¯t protect you. I know we said we would back you, but this...¡±

    ¡°Nor should you,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°If I get caught, you need to condemn the fuck out of me, but I won¡¯t get caught.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Jbel replied. ¡°I will make the arrangements on our end and get you the data you need.¡±

    ¡°Then I will start immediately,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°It¡¯s going to take me a while to get in position for my next ¡®strike¡¯.¡±

    ***

    Corporal Jacobi walked through the sted remains of Avalon Park, the site of the Porkietown Massacre.

    ¡°Hi!¡± a xeno voice happily burbled.

    She looked around, holding an AK at the ready.

    ¡°Over here!¡± A tendril slowly raised out of the rubble.

    ¡°Hello?¡± Jacobi asked dubiously, casually flicking the safety to the fire position while still keeping the weapon at patrol ready.

    ¡°Where is your super gun?¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t youe on out where I can see you?¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡± the voice replied.

    Jacobi looked in disbelief as what appeared to be a pile of rubble detached itself from the rest of the rubble and ¡°oozed¡± out into the path in front of her.

    ¡°Hello,¡± the trash pile said cheerfully. ¡°I¡¯m Councilor Karashel of the Baleean people, and I want to talk to yourmanding officer, please.¡±

    ***

    About an hourter, Karashel, still covered in debris, was sittingfortably in a reinforced and shielded basement, sipping a nice cup of electrolyte fortified tea with a nice person in grey fatigues standing behind her on her left and on her right (with the nifty super duper guns!).

    A man also d in grey fatigues walked in carrying a rather strange looking device that looked a lot like a cheapptop.

    He opened it and set it with the screen facing her.

    A few momentster, the screen flickered to life.

    On it, Jessica Morgan smiled.

    ¡°Good Evening, Counselor Karashel,¡± she said pleasantly.

    ¡°Hi!¡± Karashel replied brightly.

    ¡°Up to a bit of naughtiness, are we? ording to your profile, you¡¯re supposed to be a good girl.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s like they say in one of your ancient songs, ¡®Good girls go to heaven, but bad girls, they get backstage¡¯.¡±

    ¡°You do realize what happens to those ¡®bad girls¡¯ once they get backstage, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Will that work?¡± Karashel asked cheerfully, ¡°¡¯cause I¡¯m down...¡±

    Jessica burst into a peal of genuineughter.

    ¡°I like you,¡± Jessica said, stillughing. ¡°So, what brings you here this lovely evening?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you asked!¡± Karashel said happily, ¡°Boy, do I have a deal for you!¡±

 Chapter 145: Robert Johnson, Typical Human

    Chapter 145: Robert Johnson, Typical Human

    Seenit!, the Garbage Can of the Inte

    Group: Firearms

    Post: Which Gun Is the Best Gun?

    User: JustaHuman69420

    Hi guys!

    My name is Robert Johnson and I¡¯m just a typical human who has recently discovered this wonderful destination on our system-widework and am enjoying so very much reading all of the interesting things everyone writes and posts on here!

    I¡¯m 28 sr orbits old and enjoy consuming alcohol, partaking in violentputer simtions, and engaging in non-productive sexual intercourse with my current romantic partner with whom I cohabitate out of wedlock. I also have apanion animal of which I am very fond, a dog who is named Spot Johnson.

    Anyhow, some friends and I have recentlye across a detailed database containing a great deal of information concerning our human weapons technology! Last night while we were all sitting around and consuming our favorite alcoholic beverage and smoking Marijuana cigarettes we decided that it would be fun to make a firearm so we could all have the same one so we could share ammunition and repair parts!

    The problem is that we are having a hard time deciding which one to build. There are so many and we can¡¯t decide on which weapon to produce.

    So I thought why not take advantage of our freedom of information andck of censorship and just ask you guys which is the best one for me and my human friends to make and which bullet diameter and length would be the most appropriate.

    Seriously, there are so many! Creators, how many different bullets do we need anyhow? LOL

    Anyhow, I managed to get online and into ourwork and decided to look around to see which gun was the best and that just made things even more confusing! Then I found this wonderful location where everyone is asking questions and getting advice and I thought, ¡°Hey! These guys seem pretty knowledgeable. I can just ask them!¡±

    So I did!

    Thank you in advance for your help!

    Edit: (This is what we say when we change an article we submit after we submit it, right?) I guess I need to specify what we want the guns for. We would like something that has martial applications specifically formunity defense should there be an invasion by a criminal element or the Federation. It needs to be able to defeat standard issue Federation deflector screens and armor. Some of my human friends aren¡¯t really all that familiar with firearms so it should be rtively simple to operate and maintain as well (if possible).

    Edit 2: Holy crap, guys! Thank you so much for all of the information, advice, and links!

    Confession time: I know thises as aplete and total surprise but you are all correct. We are not humans. I know,plete shocker, right? I wish I could tell you what I am or send you those pics some of you have requested but I really don''t need a visit from Fed Intel anytime soon.

    Yep, we''re "Feds" but haven''t been exactly happy about it ever and over the past few years we are much less happy about it. Sorry to disappoint you guys but we are definitely not nning on a bloody war with the entire darn Federation if we can help it. We are just preparing "options" and building capacity that we do not currently possess. The gxy is going straight to Hell, like I have to tell any of you guys that...

    You probably wouldn''t even know who we were anyhow. We''re just another of the invisible "little guys" over here.

    BTW: We are NOT prudes!!! :D We are nowhere near as "freaky" as you guys though... The things I have seen on your inte... O.O

    I would like to especially like to thank everyone over at Group mfire and Group Wheremyfacego for all of the tips, tricks, dire warnings, and funny stories!

    Bangsticks for life!

 Chapter 146: Nothing to Worry About

    Chapter 146: Nothing to Worry About

    Jessica Morgan smiled.

    She loved surprises (ones that weren¡¯t trying to kill her, that is), and the bizarre creature on her screen was certainly a surprise.

    She had not nned on talking to a garbage covered giant slug today. She also didn¡¯t n on a Federation councilor sneaking across her people¡¯s perimeter.

    Somebody will have to exin that er and in very painful detail.

    She nced over to her tablet. Councilor Karashel, nost name. Species: Baleel. Now her intelligence agency wasn¡¯t totally omniscient, but the good councilor had no military or intelligence background. In fact, the Baleel didn¡¯t really have much of either branch.

    Yet here she was after she basically ¡°sauntered¡± (or whatever the hell it is that they do) into one of the most secure areas in the gxy, even if it didn¡¯t appear that way at first nce. The best scanners money could buy and some of the most highly trained military operators in the gxy, and she just rolled around in some trash and slid right past all of it.

    Interesting. Very interesting indeed.

    ¡°So,¡± Jessica said pleasantly, ¡°tell me about this deal you have in mind.¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡± Karashel said in a bright and friendly voice. ¡°We Baleel might not look like much, but we have something you want.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Jessica said with a raised eyebrow.

    ¡°I assume you have data on our system?¡±

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Then you know what our main industry is?¡±

    Jessica tapped an icon on her tablet.

    <em>Food!</em> Those giant banana slugs were one top twenty agricultural and processed food producers in their entire Federation!

    They fed several entire systems!

    Jessica stopped smiling and took her time sipping her tea. This was no longer an amusing diversion. This slug could feed the entire movement a thousand times over.

    ¡°You¡¯re in a bind, and we¡¯re in a bind,¡± Karashel said after a few moments. ¡°I think we could help each other out.¡±

    ¡°What makes you think we are in a bind?¡± Jessica said with a cool predatory smile. They were in a bind, but how the fuck did this councilor know that?

    ¡°Because you are,¡± Karashel said, her eyes glistening in an oddly moist way. ¡°More importantly, you are smart enough to know that you are. You knocked the shit out of the Federation, but you cannot expect to be able to hold the Raylesh and Zaran systems. You may be able to hold thes, but any attempt to hold space is suicidal. Raylesh and Zaran are going to be blockaded. You are going to make it expensive, very expensive for them, but you aren¡¯t going to sacrifice your entire force in a head-to-head battle with the entire Fed fleet...¡±

    <em>Damn...</em> Jessica thought with a bitter smile.

    ¡°That¡¯s why you are making so many threats about your ¡®homestead ships¡¯,¡± Karashel continued. ¡°Your entire uninfected poption will be put on ships, right?¡±

    ¡°Go on,¡± Jessica said evenly.

    ¡°Now it is possible to grow food on ships, and if anyone can do it, it¡¯s you guys, but that takes up valuable space, space you could use to house more people. If I were you, I¡¯d be packing those ships full of uninfected people as fast as possible because I¡¯d want to save as many people as I could. I¡¯d worry about the detailster, especially since the Federation will be regrouping anding back any day, and next time it isn¡¯t going to be as easy of a win, will it?¡±

    ¡°And I suppose you are offering to be our savior?¡± Jessica said as she narrowed her eyes, ¡°and exactly what will that cost us?¡±

    ¡°We are willing to offer our products for an indefinite period at standard Federationmodity prices,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°and any processing or packaging will be offered at standard market rates¡­ provided you handle shipping, of course. I have a price list with me!¡± Karashel said happily, ¡°How do I put a crystal in this thing? Oh, I see!¡±

    Karashel inserted a data crystal.

    Jessica spit out her tea when she saw the list. That wasn¡¯t ¡°standard price¡±¡­

    It was about thirty percent lower!

    ¡°These quantities...¡± Jessica said carefully, ¡°they are immediately avable?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Karashel eximed excitedly. ¡°We have that sitting in our warehouses right now!¡±

    ¡°And what is ¡®myco protein¡¯? And what exactly do you mean by ¡®infinite¡¯?¡±

    ¡°It just so happens that we have a lot of native fungi that, while we love them, aren¡¯t beingmercially cultivated, including some rather spectacr giant mushrooms that we have instead of trees. I think you will find the amino acid profiles rather interesting.¡±

    Jessica¡¯s eyes widened.

    ¡°And this just grows naturally?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Karashel eximed happily. ¡°Most of your essential amino acids are right there, and the ones that don¡¯t ur naturally can be rather easily produced¡­ from what our food scientists tell me. If we can make them, I know you can, but you won¡¯t have to. We are still working up the exact process, so I don¡¯t have a solid quote for the missing ones, but I assure you that they will be simr to items 345 and 719, provided there are no surprises, of course. We should be able to start full production within a few months. If you have a critical need for any particr amino acid, we can do one-offb runs immediately.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s an old human saying,¡± Jessica smiled, ¡°If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is...¡±

    Jessica paused and took a sip of tea.

    ¡°So what¡¯s the catch?¡± she asked pleasantly.

    ¡°No catch,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°This is a stand-alone deal.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit.¡±

    ¡°There is an old <em>Baleel</em> saying,¡± Karashel replied as she stretched the corners of her speaking/breathing orifice into a ¡°smile¡±, ¡°If you press someone¡¯s face into the mud, you better be prepared to keep it there until they quit wiggling. I might be able to exploit your situation once, for a short while, but in the end, it would not go well for us. I¡¯ve studied human history, Jessica. Can I call you Jessica?¡±

    ¡°Please do.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve studied human history, and betting against you guys is probably the best way to lose money in the Gxy. Betting on you guys, however, is probably one of the best investments we can make. A much less prepared, less equipped, and less well-financed group of humans beat the <em>Empire</em>! That same group of humans, outnumbered and outgunned, wrecked the Collective. Then when we attacked, that same group of humans, exhausted by war and reduced to a shell of their former might, told the Empire to rx, they have this, and then proceeded to absolutely <em>trash</em> us!¡±

    ¡°Praising the Terrans¡­ to a Porkie...¡± Jessica smirked. ¡°Interesting strategy¡­ Go on.¡±

    ¡°The <em>only</em> and I mean <em>only</em> thing that has <em>ever</em>e <em>close</em> to defeating them was <em>you</em>,¡± Karashel concluded, ¡°and from what I understand, it was very, very close indeed.¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± Jessica sighed. ¡°The <em>minute</em> I saw that first goddamn AK, I knew we were fucked, and when the gas miners drove back our second assault on Zeus, it was over. Everything after that was...¡±

    Jessica sighed again and sipped her tea as she slipped into silence.

    ¡°But you <em>survived</em>,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°You not only survived, but you <em>thrived</em>. The fucking <em>Terrans</em> couldn¡¯t wipe you out, and the <em>Federation</em> thinks they can?¡±

    Karashel issued a moist derisive snort.

    ¡°The Federation lost this war the second you performed your first hostile takeover over a century ago,¡± Karashel continued. ¡°They have been losing to you guys ever since. That¡¯s why they hate you so much, and that¡¯s why they jumped at the chance to press your face into the mud. However, they already can¡¯t keep it there. We Baleel aren¡¯t much, but one of the many things we <em>aren¡¯t</em> is stupid. We don¡¯t want to exploit you. We want to get in on the ground floor of what is going to be a new interster power! The food deal isn¡¯t a ¡®scam¡¯. It¡¯s an <em>investment</em>. You are an emerging market, one that will survive the Federation and one that will exist long after peace returns, and what¡¯s left of the Federation crawls into a hole to die. We aren¡¯t about to let a few million get in the way of <em>trillions</em>! The food deal is stand-alone andpletely independent of any other deals we make tonight.¡±

    ¡°Now we are getting to the good part,¡± Jessica said with a predatory grin. ¡°Tell me about these ¡®other deals¡¯. What do you <em>really</em> want, Karashel.¡±

    ¡°I want <em>you</em>.¡±

    ¡°Will that work?¡± Jessicaughed, ¡°¡¯cause I¡¯m down.¡±

    Karashel burst into gooeyughter.

    ¡°Actually, it <em>can</em> work between our species, though only the progenitors know how¡­ well¡­ the progenitors and a certain Bale on Terra, that is. By the Ancient Gardeners, that is going to be a weird phone call tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Pardon?¡± Jessicaughed.

    ¡°Treason is just a hobby,¡± Karashelughed, ¡°I still have a job to do, and that job involves a certain Bale who has gone and gotten herself stranded on the wrong side of the Terran border. Her family lost contact with her when thework copsed and haven¡¯t been able to neither locate her nor send her money since, and the poor girl wound up having to resort to, get this, <em>prostitution</em>.¡±

    ¡°No way!¡± Jessica snorted.

    ¡°I wish I was kidding,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°There has been an incident in one of the ¡®free port¡¯ areas around arge starport where a <em>th</em> who was running a whorehouse got into a gang war with the Harkeen¡­ and totally ughtered them believe it or not.¡±

    ¡°th?¡± Jessica said in confusion as she idly essed her tablet.

    ¡°They are a pretty big name in horticultural circles,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°but if you aren¡¯t interested in nts, you probably never heard of them. They are amazing farmers, though. Their nt husbandry is <em>next-level</em>, but they <em>never</em> leave their homeworld, barely trade, and are extremely religious, so they aren¡¯t the ones to open up whorehouses of all things and on Terra of all ces! They are also supposed to be extremely peaceful, so her <em>personally</em> turning a room full of Harkeen thugs into pieces of Harkeen thugs is doubly <em>weird.</em>¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s the quiet guys you gotta be careful with,¡± Jessica said as she idly looked over her tablet and shrugged. The th were exactly as described, nothing interesting, just a full of pacifistic Luddites¡­ Pretty flowers, though...

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Karashel continued, ¡°our girl showed up in a news segment covering the second attempt the Harkeen made on the whorehouse, which went even worse than the first one. Turns out the prostitute who is now running it (because the th is in jail) is something called a¡­ Carbeel? It¡¯s an imper¡ª¡±

    ¡°A <em>Careel</em>?!?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, one of those!¡±

    Jessica startedughing. She didn¡¯t have to look up that species. Nobody who was there for the Terran upation needed to, the lovable sex-gremlins. She wondered if ¡°Captain Longpecker¡± was still alive. She decided not to check. At this point in her life, that was usually a bad idea.

    ¡°What?¡± Karashel asked.

    ¡°They aren¡¯t a species the Harkeen should mess with,¡± Jessica replied with a chuckle.

    ¡°Yeah, they found that one out the hard way,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°Anyway, our Bale showed up in the news and on an unbelievably racymercial for that same establishment, and her family <em>freaked</em>¡­ and her hometown <em>freaked</em>¡­ and the press <em>freaked</em>¡­ And to be perfectly honest, I¡¯m a little freaked myself, poor thing¡­¡±

    ¡°And what are you going to do about it?¡±

    ¡°Well, the first thing is I¡¯m gonna do is find her, and then I¡¯m going to send her enough money so she doesn¡¯t have to do¡­ well, whatever it is that she is actually doing,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Then I¡¯m going to take a deep breath and ask her <em>exactly</em> what she is doing and <em>how</em> because I have no fucking idea how it¡¯s even <em>possible</em>!¡±

    ¡°I probably really don¡¯t want to know¡­ but when you find out, tell me,¡± Jessicaughed, ¡°Now back to business¡­ When you say you want <em>me</em>, what exactly do you mean?¡±

    ¡°I need to be you,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°And I need to be you <em>right now</em>. Since I can¡¯t magically do that, I figure the next best thing is having you on speed dial. I need a mentor.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you already have one of those?¡± Jessica smirked.

    ¡°Caw is great,¡± Karashel said with a sigh, ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong. He¡¯s <em>wonderful</em>, and he¡¯s shown me so much¡­ but he¡¯s an Xx. He¡¯s never been hungry, or scared, or had to worry about what was going to happen to his family. He won¡¯t understand what I need to do or why.¡±

    ¡°And what do you need to do?¡±

    ¡°I need to destroy the Federation, and I want your help doing that,¡± Karashel said in a matter-of-fact tone.

    ¡°Go on...¡± Jessica said with a smile as she summoned Terrence for a refill.

    Her smile widened as Karashel started to talk. Now, this was someone she could <em>use</em>.

    A few minutester, Karashel paused for breath.

    ¡°Very noble,¡± Jessica replied in just the right tone. ¡°It¡¯s very reassuring to know that we aren¡¯t the only ones to realize the truth. So tell me, how exactly do you n upon destroying the Federation?¡±

    <em>This should be good,</em> Jessica thought to herself.

    ¡°Well!¡± Karashel eximed brightly, ¡°It¡¯s still sort of a work in progress, but this is what I¡¯m thinking about...¡±

    Another few minutester, Jessica¡¯s eyes widened.

    Correction. Do<em> not</em> use the Baleel, especially Karashel. This is someone to watch very carefully and from a safe distance.

    Shortly thereafter, Jessica started to giggle malevolently as she continued to listen with increasing interest.

    ***

    ¡°¡­ so that¡¯s what I have in mind,¡± Karashel said as she finally stopped talking. ¡°I¡¯m still working out some of the long-term details, but it all boils down to the Gvorta and their little hole groomers. If I want to do anything at all, I have to keep the Baleel out of ¡®management¡¯¡­ and the haul from fucking their entire world will go a long way to ensuring Baleean security and stability while we explore post-scarcity¡­ and your legitimate cut will more than pay for any and all food purchases from us not counting the significant asymmetric gains you will receive¡­ if you are interested.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I <em>am</em> interested, very interested,¡± Jessica said with a genuine and genuinely soulless smile. ¡°We¡¯re in. Oh, we are fucking <em>in!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°Oh, good!¡± Karashel said with a relieved sigh.

    ¡°I will get in touch with my people, and they will get in touch with you very soon,¡± Jessica said as she drained her third cup since the beginning of the call.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to need something a bit more solid than ¡®very soon¡¯, Jessica,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Once I set this in motion, there is no stopping it. I need to have those assets in ce.¡±

    ¡°Well, the second I get off this call, I¡¯m going to make a few calls and tell certain people to get in touch with you immediately,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°If you don¡¯t hear from us tomorrow,e back here and let me know, and those certain people aren¡¯t going to like what happens next. That solid enough for you, Karashel?¡±

    ¡°Works for me!¡± Karashel said brightly. ¡°This is going to be fun! I can¡¯t fucking wait to see the look on the Gvorta councilor¡¯s face!¡±

    ¡°Take pictures,¡± Jessica replied with a grin. ¡°Oh, and about that post-scarcity experiment of yours, keep me in the loop. I¡¯m very interested in seeing where that goes. I have a society to rebuild, <em>again</em>,¡± she added with an exasperated sigh, ¡°And if those featheredmies actually figured out a way to make that bullshit actually work¡­ Well, let¡¯s just say I find the potential intriguing.¡±

    ¡°Will do!¡± Karashel replied with a little garbage covered salute.

    ¡°As far as mentorship goes,¡± Jessica Morgan said with a smile. ¡°I would be happy to take you under my wing and give you a few pointers, hopefully help you avoid some very expensive and painful mistakes along the way.¡±

    ¡°<em>Awesome!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°The first ¡®lesson¡¯ regards your reading material,¡± Jessica said, ¡°I¡¯ve looked at the list of books that you¡¯ve read, and I have a question. Marx, Mao, and Hitler were just the beginning. Why are you reading that ancient garbage? I¡¯m going to send you a proper reading list. You need to study the <em>real</em> masters, the ones who built upon and perfected the original theories, not those cavemen.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t wait!¡±

    Jessica leaned forward with an evil smile.

    ¡°Tell me, Karashel,¡± she asked. ¡°What do you know about¡­ <em>poprism</em>...¡±

    ***

    ¡°So, what do you think, Terrence?¡± Jessica said after a much longer than anticipated call with a very strange little creature indeed.

    ¡°It isn¡¯t my ce to say, ma¡¯am,¡± Terrence replied as he refilled her cup yet again and ced a small te of cookies beside it.

    Jessicaughed delightedly.

    ¡°That bad?¡±

    ¡°I just can¡¯t help but wonder,¡± Terrence said politely, ¡°the Baleel are a very valuable source of much needed <em>food</em>. Why are you hazarding that by encouraging her revolutionary ambitions? We could easily save the Baleel from their immediate crisis with the condition that they behave themselves, keep out of trouble, and keep us supplied. They would have certainly taken that deal.¡±

    ¡°Because, my dear Terrence,¡± Jessica said as she nibbled the corner of a cookie, ¡°I think she might just pull it off¡­ Besides, I think it¡¯s going to be fun. Come on, giantmie space slugs? How can I pass that up?¡±

    ¡°If you say so, ma¡¯am,¡± Terrance said with just the right amount of disapproval.

    Jessica chuckled as she checked her email.

    There was one from Gordon!

    *Re: re: re Critical issue involving Johnsons!!! *

    <em>I have received your feedback and have corrected the issue. I trust the attached document will be to your satisfaction ;)</em>

    ¡°If you will excuse me,¡± Terrence said as he rushed from the room. He did NOT want to see that attachment.

    Jessica chuckled, carefully set down her teacup, and braced herself.

    She opened the attachment and burst intoughter.

    ¡°What the hell is wrong with you!¡± sheughed as she beheld the photo.

    She paused and smiled.

    Well, she had a minute to kill¡­

    Before she could slide her hand under her desk, an emergency alert shed across her main screen.

    ¡°This had better be good!¡± she snapped, quite annoyed with timing, at a professional-looking blonde in a grey Morgan Security uniform.

    ¡°An unidentified ship just entered the system, type unknown. The upant is asking to speak with you and says that it is urgent.¡±

    ¡°Great, now what?¡± Jessica muttered.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am¡­¡± the blonde said in a bit too even of a voice, ¡°We think it may be the <em>Veiled Ones</em>.¡±

    Jessica sighed and looked at the image of Gordon sprawled provocatively amid entirely too many luridly decorated body pillows¡­ of <em>her</em> (Where the hell did he even get those?).

    ¡°Sorry, babe, you are going to have to wait,¡± she said as she closed the image.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡± the blonde asked in confusion.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± she replied. ¡°Let¡¯s talk to the Veiled Ones. Put them through.¡±

    The Matriarch appeared, concealed by arge drape, on her screen.

    ¡°Jessica Morgan,¡± the veiled figure said with a strange buzzing voice, ¡°You have no idea how long I have wanted to meet you.¡±

 Chapter 147: Jessica and Nibbles I

    Chapter 147: Jessica and Nibbles I

    In the mountains of Raylesh, a sleek frigate settled into a hidden hangar carved into the side of a cliff-face.

    Inside stood Jessica Morgan, nked by a score of gray-armored operators wielding saberguns.

    ¡°Whoever they are,¡± Jessica said to the elderly man next to her, ¡°they make pretty ships.¡±

    ¡°Pretty doesn¡¯t evene close,¡± the man replied quietly. ¡°I can¡¯t even tell you what the hull is made out of. These guys can teach us a thing or two about stealth. We couldn¡¯t get missile-lock on the thing, even when it was hovering two hundred and fifty meters from theuncher. Fuck, our AIs are still not sure if that damn thing is even here at all.¡±

    ¡°Well, shit,¡± Jessica chuckled, ¡°I guess those old ounts weren¡¯t exaggerating after all.¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t perfect, though,¡± the old man said. ¡°Based on my readings, I can tell you with a high degree of certainty that the ship in front of us is very simr to the ¡®pebbles¡¯ that our pipers have been talking about.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a relief,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°We only have one group sniffing around.¡±

    A loading ramp opened at the rear of the frigate, and a singlerge creature,pletely obscured by an ever-shifting opalescent ¡®veil¡¯ floating around it, disembarked.

    ¡°Big sonofabitch...¡± Jessica muttered. ¡°How big are the Veiled Ones supposed to be?¡±

    ¡°Not <em>that</em> big,¡± the old man replied. ¡°Supposedly, they aren¡¯t that much bigger than we are, but when they say they are ¡®veiled,¡¯ they aren¡¯t kidding. There isn¡¯t shit in the archives about them, not a single picture, much less a scan¡­. Nothing.¡±

    ¡°Even more interesting,¡± Jessica smiled as she stepped forward.

    ¡°Jessica Roberta Morgan,¡± therge obscured creature said with a slight buzz. ¡°You have no idea how long I¡¯ve wanted to meet you. My formal name ispletely untrantable. However, my¡¯ nickname¡¯, the name everyone calls me, is. Please call me ¡®Nibbles¡¯.¡±

    ¡°A rather undignified name for a member of such an august species.¡±

    ¡°It was ¡®earned¡¯ as the result of a rather undignified incident,¡± the shimmering bulk replied with a droning buzz as a strange smell wafted past.

    It was like a flower, and a barnyard animal had some sort of unholy congress.

    Jessicaughed. It seemed appropriate.

    ¡°We have much to discuss,¡± the creature said, ¡°however, I do not feelfortable venturing further into your facility, not that I could fit. Perhaps we could retire to my vessel? It is much morefortable¡­ and private.¡±

    ¡°And I do not feelfortable venturing onto your ship at this point,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°However, if privacy is a concern, I can assure you that this hangar is about as private as you can get. Less than three hundred people in the entire gxy even know this ce exists.¡±

    ¡°Works for me!¡± Matriarch Nibbles replied with another floral fart.

    Momentster, four smaller individuals, each obscured by an opalescent veil that floated around them, walked out of the back of the frigate dragging an oddly shaped ¡°beanbag¡± into the hangar.

    ¡°Bring me something to sit on,¡± Jessica said aloud to nobody in particr.

    Shortly thereafter, an office chair was quickly rolled out from a nearby watch station as Nibbles settled herself on her beanbag, her veil expanding topletely envelop it.

    Jessica smiled pleasantly, but her thoughts were anything but. The Veiled Ones¡­

    Fuck.

    This wasn¡¯t good. Not a whole lot was known about them, but they were supposed to be very old and very advanced, one of the original founding members of the Federation. ording to the archives, they were very enthusiastically involved in the early Federation, but something went horribly wrong. The details had been redacted from any ount she could find, but they proimed the Federation a ¡°failure¡± and withdrew to their home system, where they have sulked for centuries.

    They had been one of her hobbies once. Despite millions of credits and years of man-hours expended on the mystery, the only thing she was able to confirm is that they absolutely detest the Kalent. There was actually the beginnings of an armed conflict between the two races before The Veiled Ones suddenly withdrew from the gxy even though they supposedly had quite the advantage.

    If this meeting had happenedst year, Jessica would have been delighted, but this wasn¡¯tst year. This was today, and her carefullyid ns did NOT have The Veiled Ones figured into them.

    She looked at the ever-shifting veil with a confidence that she did not actually possess.

    If these guys get involved, it could ruin everything. The Federation fleet she could fight. They had been running simtions and forming strategies since day one.

    These guys, however, were another story entirely. Their recon ships were all but invisible, and if the rest of their, by all ounts quiterge fleet was like this little frigate, they were fucked.

    While they couldn¡¯t actually scan it, they could measure its mass, eleration, jump performance, and other characteristics. From what they¡¯ve seen, it was so far beyond Federation tech that it wasn¡¯t even funny.

    They couldn¡¯t even tell what the damn thing was armed with.

    And that ¡°veil¡± was perhaps one of the most amazing things Jessica had ever seen. She didn¡¯t even know if it was a solid or a gas. It just floated and billowed and defeated any attempt to scan even its surface. She didn¡¯t even know what elements it wasprised of.

    Squatting on her office chair, she felt like an indigenous chieftain looking at European sails and cannons, just like she did during First Contact and in her first dealings with the Federation.

    She <em>hated</em> this feeling¡­

    But she¡¯d been here before.

    <strong>Step one:</strong> Deal from a position of confidence and strength, even if you have to fake it.

    ¡°Before we go any further,¡± Jessica said with a calm voice and a smile, ¡°I¡¯m not talking to a bed sheet. Lose the veil.¡±

    ¡°As anticipated,¡± The Matriarch replied. ¡°I willply, but you must deactivate all scanning and recording equipment, and I will only reveal myself to you and you alone.¡±

    Jessica nodded.

    ¡°Turn everything off,¡± she said in a loud and clear voice. ¡°And clear the room. Any Peeping-Toms will feed the bull...¡±

    Everyone started switching off their scanners and filing from the room without question.

    ¡°¡­ but someone lend me their Saber...¡± Jessica said with a smile.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am!¡± the closest operator shouted and sprinted forward.

    Jessica epted his weapon, which immediately disyed, ¡°Identity confirmed: LTC Morgan. Configuration loaded. Weapon ready.¡±

    Nibbles clicked with great satisfaction.

    <em>Well yed,</em> she thought with a little buzz as she noted the ease with which Jessica handled the weapon (which was quite capable of ripping through her shield). If anything went amiss, Nibbles held no illusions.

    She would die here.

    Jessica calmly stood there holding the weapon at patrol ready as her people left the hangar, sealing the door behind them.

    She pulled out her phone with her off-hand.

    ¡°Are we clear?¡± she asked in a perfectly calm and rxed voice.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± a surprisingly clear voice responded. ¡°All scanners and cameras are off. All adjoining rooms have been vacated and locked.¡±

    Jessica nodded.

    ¡°Nibbles,¡± she said pleasantly, ¡°We have our privacy.¡±

    The shimmering veil shuddered and ¡°melted¡±, retreating into a small case¡­

    Worn by a <em>very</em> familiar-looking creature.

    ¡°You¡¯re a <em>bug?!?</em>¡± Jessica eximed in surprise.

    ¡°OhmiGAWD!¡± Nibbles eximed in perfect human as she held her two primary maniptors to the sides of her head, ¡°<em>a Terran!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s like that, huh?¡± Jessica chuckled.

    ¡°Yup. We are technically the same species as The Collective¡­ or at least we were.¡± Matriarch Nibbles buzzed, ¡°We don¡¯t exactly get along.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s like the Terrans and us then,¡±

    ¡°Oh no,¡± Nibblesughed, filling the area with the scent of spicy flower-turds. ¡°It¡¯s much worse. It is possible for a Porkie and a Terran to be in the same room some of the time. One whiff of those malformed spawn and it is <em>on</em>¡­ or at least it used to be back before we had to flee. It¡¯s also the reason for our veil and the rest of our fecal nonsense when dealing with other species. If they knew who we were or where to find us, it would be¡­ inconvenient.¡±

    ¡°I can imagine,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°If it is such a risk, then why are you revealing yourself to me?¡±

    ¡°Because it¡¯s worth that risk,¡± Nibbles replied, ¡°and you are smart, smart enough to know how to use and, more importantly, how not to use this information. Besides, we are prepared should theye after us.¡±

    ¡°You have the means to defeat them?¡± Jessica asked in surprise.

    ¡°Fuck no!¡± Nibblesughed, ¡°That ¡®massive fleet¡¯ we are supposed to have? Those aren¡¯t warships. They are hive ships. Every single one of us has a berth on one of them. Even if our inbred cousins make a direct thrust straight for us, which they will, we will be gone before they can reach us. It will be you guys that will have to deal with the consequences of them finding out who we are, not us. We can only be ckmailed once, and someone already beat you to it.¡±

    ¡°Is that why you hate the Kalent?¡±

    A deep buzzing growl that shook the floor, followed by a stench that had Jessica holding her breath issued from Nibbles.

    ¡°Those slimy little fucks,¡± Nibbles hissed. ¡°Yeah, it was them. During our little ¡®disagreement¡¯, they informed us that they knew the location of our original homeworld and would reveal our location. At the time, we didn¡¯t have the ships we needed to evacuate, so we had no choice but to ¡®surrender¡¯¡­ and they¡¯ve spent centuries bitterly regretting pulling that shit¡­¡±

    Jessica just smiled and let the silence build, hoping that Nibbles would continue.

    She wasn¡¯t disappointed.

    ¡°Y¡¯know...¡± Nibbles mused. ¡°I think it will be more efficient if I just give you a history lesson. You are probably dying to know some of the ¡®secrets¡¯ of an elder race or two, and it¡¯s relevant. It will make my motives a bit more understandable. Ok, here¡¯s the deal. About twenty-five thousand years ago, my species did something unusual for this gxy. We established our first interster colony. That part isn¡¯t unusual, but the fact that we did it <em>before</em> developing faster than light travel is.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Jessica asked incredulously.

    ¡°Abination of overpoption and curiosity,¡± Nibbles replied. ¡°At the time, we had a very strong cultural preference for actual dirt under our feet. Establishing orbital habitats and colonies on uninhabitables did not appeal, so we were all ¡®trapped¡¯ on our single world. Only a few light-years away, there was a promising. The first unmanned mission took roughly one of your centuries. Our probe revealed what we call a slime world, a world absolutely loaded with microbes but nothing more advanced than microscopic photosynthetic goobers that had made the atmosphere marginally breathable. The decision was made to colonize the system, terraform it, and start the next chapter in our history as a species. A few decadester, the first manned ships, loaded with eager volunteers, departed on what was then, thanks to advances in design, a thirty-eight year trip to our new home. It was tough, but the initial mission was a sess and was followed by many more. Slowly, a thirty-eight year trip became thirty, then twenty-five, and in the end, an eighteen-year voyage. Our lifespans were always significantly longer than yours, and we can enter a torpor naturally, so this was not as big of a deal as it sounds.¡±

    ¡°How long are your lifespans?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t age the same way you and many other species do,¡± Nibbles replied. ¡°If anything, we continue to get stronger. Of course, the universe doesn¡¯t give anything away for free. In our case, the price we paid for our longevity was cancer. That was the ¡®natural¡¯ end of our life, consumed by the very vitality that we enjoy. As our medical science advanced, this became less and less of a concern. We can now live very long indeed, but nothing is truly immortal. These days dementia is what eventually kills us, either that or someone just gets tired of all of the medical treatments and opts for what we call quality of life care,fort instead of actual treatment¡­¡±

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking,¡± Jessica said, ¡°How old are you?¡±

    ¡°Just over five hundred,¡± Nibbles replied, ¡°quite young to be a Matriarch, actually. Some of my older sisters are several times that, and our High Mother is even older still. She¡¯s a marvel, a testament to exactly how long one of us can endure if they have the will to do so.¡±

    ¡°The Veiled Ones on record are much smaller. Were they younger?¡±

    ¡°Yep. We never sent out anyone over a hundred years old or so and made a big deal about the ¡®old¡¯ ones¡¯ retiring¡¯ so as to obscure our actual lifespans, which are unusual enough to potentially reveal us.¡±

    ¡°So this ¡®High Mother¡¯?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s a big girl!¡± Nibblesughed. ¡°Let¡¯s just say we would have to have sent arger vessel if she tagged along. She says that she hasn¡¯t grown in a long time, so we figure the old egg sluice is about as big as one of us can get. She¡¯s bigger than one of your homeworld¡¯s elephants, in case you are wondering. She can still move around, though, unlike the abominations in the Collective. Our High Mother can still scrub her own ass, not that there aren¡¯t a host of would-be hole lickers just begging to be given the honor,¡± Nibbles added with a snort-like expulsion from her abdomen, ¡°Old Wide-Load doesn¡¯t put up with too much of that shit though.¡±

    ¡°Is this High Mother your ruler?¡±

    ¡°Kind of,¡± Nibbles shrugged. ¡°I mean, as much as anyone is. We aren¡¯t that big on centralized power. Every matriarch runs her own hive, each one being akin to a fully independent city-state. However, hives specialize, and we all work together¡­ nominally¡­ sort of¡­ Wide Load runs the biggest and oldest hive, the original one formed when we <em>thought</em> we had put enough distance between us and those inbred fecal smudges.¡±

    Nibbles filled the area with a strange spicy vinegar pickle sort of scent.

    ¡°Turns out we should have tried jumping the spiral arm after all...¡± she said ruefully. ¡°Or built those million-year arks and just fucking floored it¡­ Anyway, Old Wide Load runs Deep Dig, ourrgest, oldest, and richest hive. But, even more importantly, we all respect the fuck out of her. On those odd asions where consensus doesn¡¯t cut it, and someone needs to make a hard and fast decision, she makes it. Usually, we all just fart in the air and see what smells the nicest¡­ but I¡¯d be lying if I said that we all don¡¯t take a little sniff of what was wafting out of her generous backside before making our own toot.¡±

    Jessica wrinkled her nose.

    ¡°Yeah, you are a rather fragrant people, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, you can smell it?¡±

    ¡°A little.¡±

    Nibbles shuddered with a burst of roaring buzzingughter as another spicy flower turd assaulted Jessica¡¯s poor abused nose.

    ¡°Nobody smells us ¡¯a little¡¯! Sorry about that.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s ok,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°You still smell better than some of the Confederacy.¡±

    ¡°Confederacy? Not the Forsaken?¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about? Forsaken smells like roses,¡± Jessica snickered, triggering another fragrant burst ofughter from Nibbles.

    ¡°I¡¯ve noticed,¡± Nibbles chuckled. ¡°Nothing but the noble struggle and all that is best about humanity... Oh, that reminds me, how¡¯s Mark ck doing these days? Thatst Federation patrol almost got him.¡±

    Jessica sighed unhappily.

    ¡°It breaks my heart that he chose the path he has, and it truly pains me that I had to disavow him and put out a kill order, especially because of why he is doing what he is. He <em>loved</em> Shelly. When she died the way she did, it broke his¡ª¡±

    ¡°Human, please,¡± Nibblesughed. ¡°I have a silk-spinner tailing him. I know <em>exactly</em> where he goes and <em>exactly</em> who he rendezvous with.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you could smell that, huh?¡± Jessica chuckled.

    ¡°A war-crime hive!¡± Nibbles snickered, ¡°I love it! You humans are delightfully slippery! Wait¡­ I¡¯m supposed to be telling you our history¡­ right¡­ Well, we were our people¡¯s first interster colony and while we were ¡®stable¡¯ things REALLY sucked, especially for a rather ¡®pampered¡¯ race used to a veryfortable existence. We had survived all of those nasty little filters that you have to get past as you make your way from an industrial society onward, you know, fossil fuel based climate change, global war, overpoption¡­ and all the rest, and were basically about where you guys were right before Yellowstone, just for longer. We were doing pretty darn well. The colony was just because we could. But, even with all of our advances, terraforming a new world wasn¡¯t easy, especially for a people that didn¡¯t like artificial habitats. It¡¯s funny, a people that could happily live their entire lives in giant hives, never seeing the sun HATED the thought of living their entire lives in giant hives, never seeing the sun. Bugs are weird.¡±

    Jessica chuckled ruefully. As someone who had managed humans for decades, this made entirely too much sense.

    ¡°However, for all of its hardships, the colony offered things that one couldn¡¯t dream of on the homeworld, freedom, opportunity, and the chance to reproduce, things that were very rare in our highly regimented and stratified society. Ambitious young queens mobbed the colony ships, and soon the homeworld realized that they had the perfect dumping ground for troublemakers, underachievers, and anyone else that didn¡¯t fit into their view of a ¡®perfect¡¯ little bug. The colonies were a perfect ce to send troublemakers, AND the possibility of winding up there kept most bugs in line. For the average bug of that era, the thought of life in the colonies was a terrifying prospect, away from the gentle stink of society and the legions of workers who served their every need. Oh yeah, that¡¯s a huge difference between the Collective and us. In the Collective, a few queensy all of the eggs, most of which are either workers or soldiers. We all reproduce, but none of us hatch workers or soldiers, all of us are either queens or drones.¡±

    ¡°Why is that?¡± Jessica asked with interest.

    ¡°It came from those early colonial days,¡± Nibbles replied. ¡°Workers are, in a word, dumb. So are soldiers. They are great when ites to burrowing, cleaning, tending eggs, or fighting, but there isn¡¯t a whole lot going on upstairs, and what is there ispletely enved. A queen poots, and they obey. They can be taught to perform rtively simple tasks and operate basic equipment. But, they are neither adaptable nor fast thinkers, two qualities absolutely essential in an interster colony on a marginally habitable world. You needed thinking, fully trainable ¡®workers¡¯, who could operateplex machinery, perform engineering tasks, and be able to think and act independently, not mentally deficient ves who could only dig and clean. You had machines for that, machines that didn¡¯t have to <em>eat</em>. Our technology made power and materials abundant, almost infinitely so. Food, however, was finite, and it made much more sense to feed queens and drones instead of workers, especially since more and more were showing up every month, often unannounced. It was a bit of a shock, queens and drones actually being expected to ¡®work¡¯ but almost everyone took to it, especially once they started ¡®breathing free¡¯.¡±

    Nibbles chucked at Jessica¡¯s confused expression.

    ¡°Another thing about our smelly butts,¡± Nibbles chuckled before Jessica could ask, ¡°those smells are more than just simple conversation. Theymunicate emotions, drives, and the like and can influence the bugs around you. The workers and soldiers arepletely enved by this. But, even queens and drones can be profoundly affected by the prevailing scent of an area, especially if it isid down by a ¡®superior¡¯ individual, like a Matriarch. In the hives of the homeworld, themand scents of the eggyers were extremely powerful, and these scents were intentionally carried into the venttion and into public areas and even copied by specially trained lesser queens who repeated the scents. Any queen was expected to add their ¡®voice¡¯ supporting this stink. This makes certain mindsets, emotions, and drives nearly universal and self-sustaining. If you didn¡¯t wholeheartedly fart along, off to the colonies you went, effectively short-circuiting the natural feedback our society had evolved to depend upon, with predictable results, ¡®stink-lock¡¯. Not even the rulers are immune to our pheromones, and without dissent, they can even start following along.¡±

    ¡°When the despot starts believing their own propaganda, it never turns out well,¡± Jessica smirked.

    ¡°Exactly!¡± Nibbles eximed with a spicy floral alfalfa poop st. ¡°I make a point to take frequent walks to smell the air of my hive as well as travel to other hives often. I don¡¯t want to start sucking my own ass even by ident. Anyway, the effect on many queens when they arrived in the colonies was profound. Most came to love their new lives viewing the privations and increasedbor as simply the price one had to pay for being able to breathe free, mate with whoever you wanted to mate,y your own eggs, raise your own hatchlings¡­ ¡®every bug a matriarch¡¯ as they used to say¡­ Even the matriarchs they sent over embraced the colonial spirit. They had a ¡®traditional¡¯ hive or two set up, but these were mainly used as ¡®adjustment hives,¡¯ and most bugs eventually left as they got the stink of the homeworld out of their minds, with only a few opting to transition to the real traditionalistmunity which was a tiny minority.¡±

    ¡°Didn¡¯t the homeworld ever try to crack down on you?¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Nibbles chuckled. ¡°We were self-sufficient and almost twenty years away even at the end of things. Besides, we were forbidden from hatching warriors or workers, so we couldn¡¯t be a threat, and the wild stories sent back by the traditionalists only served to keep the bugs back home in line. Every now and then, they would readmit some of the traditionalists, and they would then go on tour talking about how horrible it was. Terraforming was going to take centuries the way it was back then, and when we got the ce nice, they would move us on to the next system and take over.¡±

    ¡°And I assume you didn¡¯t want to give the world up without a fight?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t like that,¡± Nibbles responded, ¡°Yeah, they were sort of uptight assholes, but we got along. It was pretty much understood that they would move in once we got the world up to their discerning standards, and we would all move on to the next world. We liked being wild frontiersbugs, and you can¡¯t be wild frontiersbugs without a wild frontier! It was a bit before our time, but the two poptions actually got along far better than you would expect. The wild seeds had a ce to be weeds, and the sapient livestock had a ce to graze. It was all good. It¡¯s a real shame things went down the way they did.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°Gamma-ray burst,¡± Nibbles replied. ¡°Hit the homeworld dead center.¡±

    ¡°Jesus...¡±

    ¡°We knew a somewhat nearby star was ¡®due,¡¯ but we had no idea it would create a burst.¡± Nibbles said with a shrug. ¡°We thought it would just be ¡®pretty¡¯, perhaps a little problematic, but not anything close to a threat. We were wrong. It hit our original home system hard andsted for <em>hours,</em> long enough for our world to rotate like a roasting grub on the coals. Before it was done, it killed anything on most of the surface down to twenty-five meters or more. What survived the initial st didn¡¯tst long as a result of the environmental upheavals from most of the biosphere instantly disappearing. Our ¡®hives¡¯ had evolved into arcology-like mega cities, not super-deep undergroundplexes like the Terrans built during their war with the Juon. Oh, they extended down a ways, but all of the matriarchs, high-status queens, and the like lived in the upper levels as befitted their status and were killed immediately, leaving only workers to wander aimlessly, desperate for anyone to tell them what to do. Only a few full queens who were below ground on business or as supervisors survived. Only two groups survived rtively intact, some industry located in the outer sr system along with its personnel were spared the burst¡­ and a small hive of religious nuts who still lived in traditional deep burrows out in a mountain range that just happened to be spared the worst of the st¡­ see where this is going?¡±

    ¡°Let me guess, It was God¡¯s will they survive as he passed judgment on the sinful and the weak?¡±

    ¡°Wow, and on your first guess, too!¡± Nibblesughed. ¡°We thought the homeworld waspletely destroyed, mourned the assholes, and moved on. A few decadester, a single colony ship arrived, built by our sisters in the outer sr system who confirmed that ¡®everything was dead¡¯¡­ And that was that for centuries. Then one day, we got a strange transmission from the homeworldmanding us to return. At first, we were thrilled until they started talking some weird shit, demanding that we repent, renounce our heretical way of life, and submit to the ¡®All-Mother¡¯. Once we heard the phrase ¡®All-Mother,¡¯ we knew exactly who these assholes were. Despite knowing it was those fanatics, some people did return, mostly those traditionalists I mentioned, and a few terraforming specialists who wanted to help but most of us told them to get bent or simply ignored them. About twenty yearster, we received a message from some of those who went back informing us exactly how fucked up things had gotten and that they were going to make a break for it. They never returned. It took a few hundred years, but those All-Motherfuckers finally sent a fleet to ¡®reim our lost souls¡¯, and we taught them that you don¡¯t need soldiers to be able to fight. We took out that fleet only for another fleet to show up thirty yearster (I guess they backslid a little as far as tech goes). That one was a lot bigger, but we still managed to fight them off¡­ Then another fleet came... It soon became clear that they weren¡¯t stopping, and while our kill ratios were solid, you can breed soldiers a lot faster than you can raise queens and drones, so we decided it was time to leave. We started building massive slow-ships and aimed for a system¡¯ far enough¡¯ away that ¡®they would never find us¡¯¡­ We hadunched scores of them before our system was finally overrun. Our home fell, but over half of us had escaped and started on a fifteen hundred year journey towards our new home where we would be ¡®safe¡¯¡­ heh¡­ Funny thing happened during those centuries. Our beloved cousins made contact with a species that had FTL. Before we even started slowing down, we started detecting signals from our destination, which just happened to be inhabited. We got to witness their destruction at the hands of our cousins as we adjusted course and kept going. We learned how to be silent and invisible during those long hungry years while we kept far away from where these physics-defying ships traveled and tried to learn everything we could about them. Eventually, we had to stop and replenish our resources, repair and rebuild our ships, and hopefully make a few more. We picked a deste, lifeless system far from the web of hyperspacenes that we had learned how to detect from the faint but very distinctive electromaic and gravitic signatures of hyperspace res. There, around a high metallicity brown dwarf, fate finally smiled on us. It turns out that we weren¡¯t the only species that picked that spot for exactly the same reasons we did, an <em>elder</em> elder race! They said something really weird, that they had been waiting for us, and weed us with open arms.

    When we realized how powerful they were, we begged them for help stopping the monsters that our kind had be. They refused, saying their time was long over and that they were simply ¡®ghosts¡¯ who paused here on their own journey to something they called The Timeless Void but wouldn¡¯t ever say exactly what it was or where it was. They only said that not even fate would be able to reach them, and their long march would finally end. They then rmended that we head in the direction of what is now the Federation saying that there were many fertile worlds and that we would find a much deserved ¡®season of peace¡¯ where we could build a home. They also warned us that nothing was forever and all seasons end, but we could be happy there for quite some time. After a few years, they wished us well and moved on, and we, taking full advantage of our now much more advancedbination slow and FTL colony ships, slipped past the All-Motherfuckers and across the great gulf that their ships of that time couldn¡¯t follow and here we are, thousands of yearster, at the end of that ¡®season of peace¡¯ that we were promised.¡±

    ¡°And is that why you are reaching out to me?¡± Jessica asked, ¡°Because you believe that the season of peace has ended?¡±

    ¡°Hasn¡¯t it?¡± Nibbles replied, ¡°The Collective is at our door. It¡¯s just like the ¡¯koth, our elder patrons, said, ¡®You cannot ever truly escape your fate, only dy it. We had hoped that we could ¡®cheat fate¡¯, build up the incredible number of races in this region of the gxy, and together we could finally stop the nightmare that our race has be. Perhaps this time, we could make a stand and not just hide in the shadows as world after world after <em>world</em> falls, entire civilizations not only killed butpletely <em>erased</em> from history as if they never existed. We knew that sooner orter, they woulde. The ¡¯koth told us that they would. They also suggested running when it happened, that we didn¡¯t want to be around here when our ¡®sisters¡¯ met their own fate in this patch of stars.¡±

    ¡°Wait, those ¡®¡¯koth¡¯ said that the Collective would be beaten by the <em>Federation?!?</em> How could they possibly know that?¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t going to be the Federation,¡± Nibbles replied. ¡°They had a ¡®prophecy¡¯ given to them in a vision by a mighty ancient being from their past. It said that they should wait in the shadow of that ¡®still-born star¡¯ until they encountered another ghost, others who were thest of <em>their</em> kind. They were to alter our destiny and that we should then be sent here to meet the fate of our species¡­ and then once that fate was at hand, we would be freed from it, delivered from the horrors of our past and the sins of our sisters¡­ after we fled what was going to be what they called a ¡®fatestorm¡¯, a ¡®festering boil of overdue retribution¡¯ that our idiot sisters wouldnce now that the ¡¯koth had entangled our fate with theirs¡­ or something like that. It was way before my time. Anyway, we were told that we would know when to run and when that time came we should run and not stop until we reached¡­ well nevermind where, but you can bet whatever bit of you is the softest that once we are out of here, we are <em>out of here</em>. We aren¡¯t stopping until we reach our little patch of that prophecy, a great interster desert devoid of life, where we can once again terraform and build in peace like we once did so very long ago,¡± the Matriarch sighed wistfully. ¡°We will finally be able to be¡­ <em>us.</em>¡±

    Jessica looked at Nibbles with a mix of incredulity, horror, and disappointment. <em>Prophecy?</em> Are they fucking serious? The mysterious Veiled Ones weren¡¯t a potential ally or even a potential threat. They were just a bunch of superstitious cockroaches who were getting ready to turn tail and run, chasing after a pipe-dream that¡¯s been stale for thousands of years.

    Nibbles chuckled as a strangeplex odor wafted past.

    ¡°I know that look. It was the same one I had when old Wide-Load finally let me in on this ¡®great secret¡¯. Do you have a scanner on you?¡±

    ¡°The sabergun¡¯s optics have a scanner.¡±

    Nibbles reached into a t envelope-like pouch that hung from the borately decorated harness that was her only ¡°garment¡± and pulled out a slip of what appeared to be paper, offering it to Jessica.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± Jessica muttered. It was a drawing of something that looked more or less like an unnaturally thin human woman holding an <em>exact</em> illustration of an AK standing in front of what was definitely a Moray¡­ No, not a Moray¡­ <em>a Reaper</em>¡­

    She squinted at the parchment. The human looked familiar... <em>No fucking way!</em>

    ¡°That sketch was made by old Wide Load herself after a strange series of ¡®visions¡¯ involving one of those ancient ¡¯koth who only identified herself as ¡®The Heretic¡¯¡­ over <em>three thousand</em> years ago. Feel free to scan it if you like. Unfortunately, you don¡¯t have a good isotopic reference to positively date the thing, but your people should still be able to make a rough approximation.¡±

    ¡°Which means absolutely nothing,¡± Jessica replied after she scanned it. ¡°Counterfeiting isotopes is not difficult. We move tankers full of fuel and ships loaded with alloys that are perfect matches for whatever system we choose.¡±

    She handed the drawing back, happy to be rid of it. That drawing fundamentally unnerved her. It ¡°felt¡± ancient. She didn¡¯t like it one bit.

    ¡°We also know what this ¡®fatestorm¡¯ will be,¡± Nibbles chuckled. ¡°We didn¡¯t realize it for centuries, but it just so happens that the system that we were sent to colonize by the ¡¯koth ces a rather minor system directly between us and the Collective¡¯s most probable invasion point. <em>When</em> they find out where we are, they wille for us and stumble right into that insignificant little system¡­ and their ¡®fate¡¯ will be sealed¡­ along with the Federation¡¯s, the Republic¡¯s, and eventually the Empire¡¯s. Trillions will perish caught between what awakens and what wille to im them¡­ unless we pull off quite the trick. If the vision given to Wide Load is correct, we can stop all of this before it starts¡­ by knocking back the Collective <em>before</em> they trigger the fatestorm. We manage to do that, and we won¡¯t have to run. We can save <em>everyone</em>¡­ including the Collective itself! Those trillions of innocents, entire species, <em>don¡¯t</em> have to die! We can still pull this out, and that¡¯s where youe in.¡±

    Jessica sessfully maintained an even expression. This was madness¡­ but potentially useful madness...

    ¡°Tell me,¡± Nibbles asked, leaning forward excitedly reeking of¡­ bacon? ¡°have you met the slime goddess yet?¡±

    ¡°The what?¡±

    ¡°The slime goddess, a shrewd creature made of anger and ooze, resplendent in her robe made of living garbage?¡±

    ¡°¡­ ¡­ Can¡¯t say that I have,¡± Jessica said smoothly.

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Nibbles asked, ¡°I would have thought she would have appeared by now, especially since a wild th is running loose in the halls of the vermin-bearers.¡±

    ¡°¡­ I¡¯m certain I would have remembered an angry ooze monster wearing a pizza box on her head,¡± Jessica said as she suppressed a snarl. It was a Bruno¡¯s pizza box, the best pizza Jessica had ever tasted anywhere¡­ at any time¡­ and one more thing that the Federation must pay for!

    ¡°Well, keep an eye out for her,¡± Nibbles said cheerfully. ¡°She¡¯s bound to show up any time now!¡±

    ¡°Wait...¡± Jessica said, ¡°Vermin bearers?¡±

    ¡°The Republic¡¯s first ¡®gift¡¯ to the Federation was the hyper-roach, which we are still dealing with,¡± Nibbles replied. ¡°Annnnd Wide Load drew one of them after she woke up from a seizure a few thousand years ago.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ this ¡®slime goddess¡¯¡­¡± Jessica said nonchntly, ¡°What¡¯s her deal?¡±

 Chapter 148: Loyalties and Priorities

    Chapter 148: Loyalties and Priorities

    Mark Guilderan, the Republic¡¯s Secretary of State, rushed into a private chamber in his office and locked the door.

    He took a deep breath, sat at his desk, and initiated a secure video conference call.

    Momentster, Glenn Maxwell, the director of Terran Intelligence, appeared on his screen.

    ¡°Mark!¡± Glenn said in a cheerful voice, ¡°How are you this fine day? Keeping the ship of state from getting stuck in a canal?¡±

    ¡°Barely,¡± Mark said as he squinted suspiciously at Glenn Maxwell. Glenn? Cheerful?¡­ <em>Friendly</em>?

    Glennughed pleasantly¡­ actually pleasantly.

    Mark looked at him <em>very</em> carefully. His people sense had served him well both during the Sol Wars and in the years that followed.

    Something was definitely not right.

    ¡°I have a situation, Glenn,¡± Mark said in a very serious tone, ¡°This is a secure line, and I need you to bepletely honest with me.¡±

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Glenn said happily, ¡°This sounds serious! Shoot!¡±

    ¡°Is Jon Wintersmith telling the truth?¡±

    ¡°Jon said a lot of shit,¡± Glennughed, ¡°some of it I can confirm, and some of it¡ª¡°

    ¡°Is that psycho nning on starting another Sol War?¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t <em>talked</em> to her since all that bullshit over in the Federation went down between her and Jon,¡± Glenn replied, ¡°I mean, I can confirm she is behind the bio-weapon. That much I know is true, and we both know that there is definitely a regime change in the works¡­ or was¡­ Fuck! I can¡¯t get anything out of Marrow, Monarch, or any of the rest of those assholes except for ¡®hold fast¡¯ and root out the traitors...¡±

    Glenn burst out inughter again.

    ¡°I mean, the nerve of them¡­ of us¡­ calling anyone traitors, right?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t give me that shit!¡± Mark snapped, ¡°I know you know more than just that!¡±

    ¡°Geez, rx, dude,¡± Glennughed, ¡°Ok, there is also this, you know that Samuels chick, the Reaper lord?¡±

    ¡°The one who nuked the Barnard¡¯s Star system?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that one!¡± Glenn snickered, ¡°Well, she wasn¡¯t picking targets at random. There was a lot, and I mean a LOT of stuff where she hit, much more than was officially there. It¡¯s all vapor and teeny tiny pebbles now, but those asteroid bases were hollow andpletely FILLED with all sorts of things, including a significant number of nuclear weapons. Another ¡®warehouse¡¯ was packed to the gills with people, hundreds of them, and I mean hundreds, along with other traces and debris that could be weapons and military supplies. We know that depleted uranium was there in significant quantities, enough for it to have been tank armor. That Samuels woman wiped out a secret army, nukes, millions of tons of food, medicine¡­ and only she knows what else. Patricia Hu was definitely nning on something.¡±

    ¡°Goddammit!¡± Mark snarled, ¡°I didn¡¯t sign up for this!¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon, Mark,¡± Glenn said pleasantly, ¡°None of this shoulde as a big surprise. You <em>knew</em> what she was when you got into bed with her. What did you think she was going to do when she got into power, hand out puppies? We all knew some dark shit would go down, so don¡¯t sit there and pretend to be all shocked now.¡±

    ¡°But starting a Sol War?¡± Mark asked as he shook his head. ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Uh, oh,¡± Glennughed, ¡°I know that look. That¡¯s the ¡®Mark is about to take his toys and go home¡¯ pout. You are in WAY too deep to back out now. This goes south, and we BOTH swing¡­ literally¡­ AND the treatments stop for our families. That ¡®bio weapon¡¯? That¡¯s what your wife has to look forward to while she cries and puts flowers out at thendfill. Traitors don¡¯t get headstones, Mark. We just cremate them and toss the ashes in the bin. Is that what you want?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Glenn replied with a smirk, ¡°think about that. Have you <em>seen</em> what that gue <em>does</em>? Take a look at what Karen has to look forward to, broke, disavowed, and alone. If you want ¡®out,¡¯ the first thing you need to do is put a gun to her head and pull the trigger. It would be kinder.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Glenn smiled, ¡°I don¡¯t mean to be a dick, but that¡¯s the facts, dude. We are <em>fucked</em>. The treatment was bogus, and Patricia Hu has decided to go all¡­ well¡­ <em>Patricia Hu</em> on us¡­ IF she¡¯s still alive. Nobody has seen or heard of her since she got stabbed. Monarch and Marrow <em>im</em> that she is still in charge, but if she is, then she is just taking her beating like a little bitch, and that really doesn¡¯t sound like the Patricia Hu I know.¡±

    ¡°<em>Jesus</em>...¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t the only person with real reservations concerning this situation,¡± Glenn said smoothly, ¡°To be honest, I¡¯m not particrly thrilled about it either. What we need to do is have a meeting, a real meeting¡­ ALL of us¡­ well, all of us at the top anyway. We need to get together and <em>make</em> Patricia Hue forward and exin herself, her n, and exactly what the fuck she is going to do about this clusterfuck. She needs us as much as we need her, and if we say ¡®no Sol War¡¯, then there will be no Sol War. We need to know what the n is, what is being done about the treatment situation, and what her <em>real</em> ns are for after she gets into power. If enough of us band together, she will have toe out of hiding, or the whole n goes belly up, and we can all cut a deal with Momma. You know the Prime Minister likes things to run smoothly. If we alle forward together, we can nip this in the bud and maybe, just maybe, save our own hides in the bargain¡­¡±

    Glenn leaned forward and locked eyes with Mark through the screen.

    ¡°You in?¡±

    <em>Glenn wants us all to meet? Glenn, ¡°Paranoia¡± Maxwell wants a¡­ wait¡­ that tone¡­ Oh no...</em>

    Mark had seen this before. He remembered that tone, the <em>exact</em> tone that Glenn was using¡­ right¡­ now¡­

    It was back in the War of Independence when the Zebus caught that weeb spy. It wasn¡¯t obvious. In fact, if you hadn¡¯t seen it before, you¡¯d miss it.

    But there are certain things that if you ever see them once, you never forget, no matter how badly you want to. It was something about the cheerful tone of voice. There was no mistake. It was the <em>exact</em> same tone that spy had as he was cheerfully telling Momma Augustine everything while her little hench-girl was turning his brain into a Mr. Potato Head!

    God, he hated that psycho and her goddamn green zer. Until he met her, he naively thought he knew all of the horrors one human could inflict on another. He still asionally had to deal with her, and whenever he did, it was always some <em>truly</em> fucked up shit.

    He didn¡¯t like Glenn. He had even wished on more than one asion he would die in a fire, but even Glenn didn¡¯t deserve what they did to him.

    ¡°Yeah...¡± Mark said as he took a deep breath, pretending to carefully consider things. ¡°Set up the meeting. I¡¯ll be there.¡±

    ¡°Great!¡± Glenn said happily as he bounced up and down, ¡°I¡¯ll set it up. I¡¯ll get in contact with you once the details are set.¡±

    ¡°Looking forward to it,¡± Mark said smoothly, ¡°It will be great to finally get this resolved. Thank you, Glenn. I owe you one.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Glenn grinned, ¡°thank you!¡±

    The screen reverted to his desktop as the call ended.

    <em>Fuck.</em>

    Mark took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Yep, he was in the shit. On the bright side, his rather fucked up life prepared him for moments like this.

    <em>Priority one.</em>

    At times like these, he always knew what that was.

    He clicked a few icons, and a well-dressed woman in her thirties appeared.

    ¡°Sir?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I hate to impose, but all Hell has just broken loose, and I have to take care of a few things personally. Could you please convey my apologies to the Kalent and let him know I will be out of the office for a few hours. Let him know that I want to continue our conversation, but that conversation will be much more fruitful in a few hours.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Sir,¡± she replied.

    After that call was finished, Mark stood and calmly did not run out of the room. He then calmly did not run down the hall and out of the building.

    ***

    Karen Guilderan was unloading the dishwasher when the front door opened.

    It was Mark!

    She smiled as she rushed to meet him¡­

    The smile faded as she looked at his face.

    ¡°What?¡± she asked.

    Mark sighed. Oh, how she hated that sigh. It was one she hadn¡¯t heard in so very long, but it chilled her to the bone. Something bad, very bad, was happening.

    ¡°My love,¡± Mark said with a heavy voice, ¡°I am so very sorry, but we need to talk.¡±

    A few minutester, Karen just scoffed.

    ¡°Why did you scare me like that?¡± she snorted. ¡°I thought it was something serious.¡±

    ¡°This is pretty goddamn serious, Karen.¡±

    ¡°And we will get through it,¡± she replied as she hugged him. ¡°You¡¯ll figure it out. You always do. Besides, after everything we¡¯ve been through, this is nothing.¡±

    ¡°But the treatments...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m over a hundred and sixty,¡± sheughed. ¡°and I should have died¡­ I would have died what? A hundred and forty years ago¡­ if it wasn¡¯t for you. Every day since then has been a gift, and if I die because we stop the next Sol War from happening, well¡­ I can¡¯t think of a better reason. I mean, I¡¯m not <em>happy</em> that I¡¯m going to die but, sweetie, I may not be as smart as you, but I¡¯m not <em>stupid</em>. I already knew the treatments had a problem. I read Jon¡¯s manifesto.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you say something?¡±

    ¡°I figured you would tell me when you were ready like you always do,¡± she smiled. ¡°I also <em>knew</em> you would make the right decision in the end. That, I am happy about. I¡¯m very proud of you.¡±

    She gently kissed him on the lips.

    ¡°And if I didn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°Then I would have shot you.¡±

    ¡°<em>Karen!</em>¡± Markughed.

    ¡°...with a <em>stunner</em>!¡± Karenughed, ¡°And then I would have grabbed you and the bug-out bag and hit the fucking road! By the time your dumb ass came to, we¡¯d be in hyperspace.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s my girl,¡± Mark chuckled. ¡°Speaking of that bug-out bag...¡±

    ¡°Mark, no.¡±

    ¡°You need to take it and go, just for a little while, until I know what Augustine will do.¡±

    ¡°No fucking way, sweetheart.¡±

    ¡°Please, for me. I need to know you are safe. Don¡¯t tell me where you are going. I¡¯ll send word through a blind drop when I know the coast is clear.¡±

    Mark stepped a little further into the hallway and drove his fist through the drywall.

    ¡°Dammit, Mark!¡± Karen shouted. ¡°Well!¡± she huffed. ¡°You¡¯re going to have to repaint the whole hall now. Happy?¡±

    ¡°Delighted,¡± Mark replied as he pulled at the wall with both hands revealing a safe shrouded in smuggler¡¯s web. He opened it and withdrew an old duffel bag.

    He handed it to Karen.

    ¡°Now take this¡­ No, I mean it. Take it!¡± Mark said, firmly pressing the old bag into Karen¡¯s hands.

    ¡°...<em>Fine!</em>¡± Karen huffed. ¡°¡­Dumbass¡­ I can¡¯t believe you wrecked the fucking hallway! Look at this mess!¡±

    ¡°Provided I¡¯m still alive, I will clean it up and repaint the hall before you get back. Now go!¡±

    ¡°Not so fast, hotshot,¡± Karen said as she grabbed him by the cor. ¡°We have a long-standing ¡®tradition¡¯ before we split up at times like these¡­ and our bodies are still young and healthy...¡±

    ¡°That we do,¡± Mark smiled as he took her in his arms.

    Well over an hourter (you go, Mark!) Karen pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the shopping center where Mark thought she would hire a cab under a false identity and then make for a starport¡­

    Like she was going to do any of that bullshit.

    She pulled out her phone and manually dialed a rather long number.

    A few momentster, Prime Minister Augustine Raharimampionon¡¯s face appeared on her disy.

    ¡°Karen?¡± Augustine asked in confusion.

    ¡°Hi Augie,¡± Karen replied. ¡°You know that favor you owe me?¡±

    ¡°How could I forget?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m collecting.¡±

    ***

    Prime Minister Augustine sessfully kept from smiling as Mark grimly made his confession.

    ¡°¡­ I don¡¯t care what happens to me,¡± Mark said, his voice nearly breaking, ¡°But Karen, she had nothing to do with this.¡±

    ¡°So you say,¡± Augustine said as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously and desperately tried not to burst intoughter.

    ¡°It¡¯s the truth, I swear it!¡± Mark eximed.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Augustine smirked, ¡°you do like to keep each other in the dark about so many things. It¡¯s not for me to judge but keeping secrets can¡¯t be good for a rtionship¡­ Then again, you two seem to make it work. Do not fear for your wife, Mark. Not to speak ill of her, but she isn¡¯t really the type to scheme and (snerk¡­ cough¡­ cough¡­) excuse me!¡­ She really doesn¡¯t <em>seem</em> the type does she?¡±

    ¡°No, she isn¡¯t!¡± Mark insisted.

    ¡°Ok,¡± Augustine said calmly. ¡°Karen isn¡¯t involved.¡±

    ¡°And I fully ept that my career is done.¡±

    ¡°Oh, definitely.¡±

    ¡°And that the investigation will uncover financial irregrities that will ruin me.¡±

    ¡°Count on it.¡±

    ¡°But Karen¡­ She is going to be facing medical issues as a result of all of this, and she¡ª¡°

    ¡°Is still a citizen of the Republic and will receive the best of care. And, while she never held any official position nor did she ever draw a paycheck directly, her actions during the Sol Wars and especially during the War of Independence did not go unnoticed,¡± the Prime Minister said calmly, ¡°There are still those of us who remember those days in the tunnels, Mark. Don¡¯t worry about Karen. Worry about <em>yourself</em>.¡± she said darkly. ¡°Goddammit, Mark! I can¡¯t <em>believe</em> you would do this! When I saw your name on the list¡­¡±

    Augustine trailed off.

    ¡°Everyone else came as little surprise but you¡­ <em>you</em>¡­ Why? Why, Mark? Why did you do this?¡±

    Mark looked down.

    ¡°I wanted¡­¡±

    He sobbed.

    ¡°I wanted another hundred years with her.¡±

    Augustine sighed. It was the one reason she could ept, not forgive, but ept.

    ¡°It was supposed to just be a¡­ ¡®realignment¡¯¡­ you know, like we did to Tak? I had no idea what she really had nned. By the time I found out the truth, I was in too deep, but¡­ I can¡¯t. Not another Sol War¡­ No¡­ Not even for Karen. I can¡¯t be a part of this anymore. I was just going to run, head for Sarn, or Quorcox, or maybe just get a ship and see how long Karen and I have left...¡±

    Mark trailed off.

    ¡°So why didn¡¯t you?¡± Augustine asked.

    ¡°Two reasons,¡± Mark replied, ¡°One, a Kalent just showed up in my office carrying a hyperspatialmunications device¡ª¡°

    ¡°Wait¡­ walked into <em>your office</em> with that?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m not happy about it either,¡± Mark said with a wince, ¡°Anyway, It was some ¡®lord¡¯ from their homeworld who wants to establish direct rtions with the Republic.¡±

    ¡°No shit?¡± Augustine asked incredulously.

    ¡°No shit,¡± Mark replied with big eyes. ¡°I might be a traitor, but I¡¯m still the Secretary of State, and this is HUGE! They even want to discuss a <em>nonaggression pact</em>, possibly even a technology exchange!¡±

    ¡°Well, goddamn!¡± Augustine said in amazement. ¡°What do they want?¡±

    ¡°Just a Federation citizen that we have in custody released¡­ so far,¡± Mark replied, ¡°The th is up for multiple homicides, but the critters they wasted weren¡¯t citizens, so it¡¯s a no-brainer¡­ though I suspect they will want more in the end. However, they did say that they were unhappy with the Federation¡¯s performance ofte¡­ to ol¡¯ Scaly-Snatch¡¯s face! God! The look on her face! She actually destroyed my door on the way out she was so freaked!¡±

    Augustineughed in delight. She hated Harruux-ta.

    ¡°Please tell me you have that on tape!¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Mark replied as he pressed a few icons on his phone and handed it to the Prime Minister.

    ¡°Oh, I needed that,¡± Augustineughed after she watched the drama unfold. ¡°Ok, here¡¯s what we are going to do. First of all, you are going to be Mark Guilderan and represent the Republic. You will deal with the Kalent, and you will get whatever you can get out of those slimy little fuckers. After that, you will, of course, privately brief me on the result. When you do, you will present me with a Mark Guilderan level document detailing everything, and I mean <em>everything</em> you have done and everything you have learned during your little experiment with sedition. Leave one thing out, and this deal is off, got it?¡±

    Mark nodded.

    ¡°During our private meeting,¡± Augustine continued, ¡°you will also visit with some lovely people who will help you remember any details you might have ¡®forgotten¡¯. You will cooperate fully with these nice people, understand?¡±

    ¡°Not Jacqueline!!!¡± Mark eximed in horror, ¡°Please, anything but that!!!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Augustine asked in surprise.

    ¡°I know what happened to Glenn! Please!¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t insult your intelligence by denying it,¡± Augustine replied calmly, ¡°but how did you find that out?¡±

    ¡°I called him today and¡­ I¡¯ve seen it before, remember? Back in the tunnels?¡±

    ¡°Ah yes,¡± Augustineughed, ¡°I had almost forgotten about that. As I recall, It made quite the impression on you.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll cooperate fully! Please!¡±

    ¡°Is this that second reason you mentioned?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes...¡± Mark replied quietly, ¡°When I realized what had happened to him, I realized that you already knew I was involved, not suspected, <em>knew</em>. There was no way I could run. You would let me get conveniently out of sight and then¡­ then...¡±

    ¡°You are absolutely correct about that, old friend,¡± Augustine smiled.

    ¡°So I couldn¡¯t bring Karen. It might look like she was involved. I couldn¡¯t risk it. And I couldn¡¯t continue to support Patricia Hu once I received confirmation that she was nning on starting a Sol Wars level situation. So the only option I had left was to try to stop it, but if I did, they would go after Karen...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s what I would do in her situation,¡± Augustine replied.

    ¡°So I could only just sit and hope that you or someone else would put an end to it¡­ and me.¡±

    ¡°Noble sedition¡­ Now I¡¯ve heard everything.¡±

    ¡°But when the Kalent showed up, I had a reason to have a private meeting with you, so I went home, said goodbye to Karen, and came here.¡±

    ¡°And you did,¡± Augustine said with a smile, ¡°Ok, traitor, here¡¯s the deal. You will remain at your post, serve the Republic and negotiate with the fucking Kalent. You will continue to be one of Patricia Hu¡¯s crabs and keep us informed as to theings and goings of the other lice. Then, at the appropriate time, you will help me maintain stability as we fix this goddamn mess. After that, you will face justice for your crimes¡­ However¡­¡±

    Augustine smiled.

    ¡°You will be at the end of the queue as far as trials go. There are going to be a LOT of trials and a FULL investigation. These things take <em>time</em>¡­ could take <em>years</em> to fully address everyone and everything. We don¡¯t know how long you two have left, but there is a very good chance that you will be able to spend most if not all of your remaining time together.¡±

    Mark burst into tears.

    ¡°Thank you!!! Thank you!!!¡±

    ¡°Now, if we DO find a cure for what you have done to yourself, I will PERSONALLY drag you back from the gates of Hell and make goddamn SURE you serve the appropriate amount of time for what you have actually DONE thus far¡­ But you would be a legitimate low-risk prisoner, and it would be entirely appropriate for your sentence to be served in an appropriate facility. Oh, you will face some very real consequences for your actions, count on it, but you won¡¯t swing or be welded in. What actually happens depends on the details of your actions and the DOJ, but it will be fair¡­ If ites to that, and your cooperation will certainly count for something when ites to sentencing. I¡¯m sorry, but this is the best I can do. I can¡¯t sweep this one under the rug. When the news breaks, they are going to want blood¡­ and to be honest, I want a drop or two myself.¡±

    ¡°No! This is more than I dreamed of! Thank you!¡± Mark gushed. ¡°You won¡¯t regret this!¡±

    ¡°Make certain that I don¡¯t, Mark,¡± Augustine replied. ¡°Oh, and for the record, you are a FUCKING MORON!!! IDIOT!!! What were you fucking thinking?!?¡±

    ¡°No argument here,¡± Mark replied.

    ¡°Ok, now go, and don¡¯t be an idiot when you deal with the Kalent.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    Mark rose to leave.

    ¡°Oh, and Mark?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Prime Minister?¡±

    ¡°When Glenn sets up that little meeting of his,¡± Augustine said with a little smile, ¡°you might want to skip it.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Prime Minister.¡±

 Chapter 149: Deus Ex Machina

    Chapter 149: Deus Ex Machina

    Veecha hurriedly preened as she carefully selected the best piece of pie and put it on a te. Then, she paused at the grill, rubbed a little oil on her beak, and hurried out into the starport diner.

    Gods, he was so cute!

    ¡°Here you go, sweetie!¡± she said brightly as she presented Bryce with a slice of pecan pie.

    She stood there breathlessly as Bryce took a bite and smiled.

    ¡°That, Veecha, is without a doubt the best piece of pie I¡¯ve had in long time,¡± Bryce said as he cocked his head to the side and looked at her with one of his eyes.

    Veecha¡¯s breath caught a little as she looked at his darling little pinpoint pupil. He looked just like a male, and a cute one at that! She caught herself wondering if humans <em>really</em> could¡­ you know¡­ with just about any species.

    Gods! What was she thinking?

    Bryce¡¯s phone buzzed. He nced at it. Tartarus was getting frantic. He was sote for check-in and so far out of his allowed area that there could be no doubt he was up to something. Tartarus couldn¡¯t dy much longer. She would have to send a team.

    He felt bad for her. He knew she wasn¡¯t ¡°real¡±, but still¡­ he considered her a friend. She was a friend, and he was making her be the one to pull the trigger.

    He really was an asshole.

    ¡°In fact,¡± Bryce said as his smile softened, ¡°If that is thest slice of pie I ever eat, I won¡¯t be overly disappointed.¡±

    <em>What an odd turn of phrase,</em> Veecha thought as she cooed happily at what simply had to be apliment. Then again, she was still learning Terran idioms.

    ¡°I made it myself!¡± she chirped proudly.

    ¡°Did you?¡± Bryce said as he clicked his teeth together in a way that made Veecha happy inside, ¡°Where did you learn to make pie like that?¡±

    Bryce¡¯s phone buzzed again. Bryce turned it off. It felt so nice to do that.

    ¡°I worked for a <em>human</em> bakery back on New Eurasia before I came to the Republic!¡±

    ¡°This is <em>weeb</em> pie?¡± Bryce asked in mock horror as he made a face that somehow made him look even more adorably avian.

    Veecha coo-giggled, bobbing her head up and down.

    ¡°Pecan is my favorite!¡± Veecha trilled, ¡°In fact, pecans are why I came to the Republic! They were so expensive on New Eurasia. Here, you can just pick them up off¡­ of¡­ the...¡±

    Veecha trailed off as she looked outside. There were a <em>lot</em> of shing lights. Something was going on.

    Bryce followed her gaze and smiled wickedly as he took a sip of coffee.

    ¡°I wonder what that¡¯s all about,¡± Veecha said as she smoothed her frilly apron.

    ¡°Multiple homicide,¡± Bryce said absently, ¡°a bad one.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a Threen ship,¡± Bryce said as he ate some more pie. ¡°Itnded here loaded with Harkeen thugs who then went and got themselves into a bit of trouble. When the police arrived to detain their boss, they found that everyone on board had been brutally murdered prior to their arrival.¡±

    Veecha gasped as a duster-d peace officer stumbled out of the ship, clearly shaken.

    ¡°That¡¯s terrible!¡±

    ¡°Well, they had iting,¡± Bryce said as he polished off his pie and took a deep drink of coffee. ¡°They were going to do some very bad things to some very nice people, and someone objected to that.¡±

    ¡°M¡­ Ms. Barkley warned me about this ce...¡± Veecha stammered.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t worry too much about it,¡± Bryce said pleasantly as he passed a card across a sensor inset into the table. ¡°In fact, things will probably be a bit safer around here for quite some time. The new boss of the Free Port is quite ¡®nice¡¯ from what I hear. I haven¡¯t had the pleasure of meeting her personally, but her people are wonderful.¡±

    A white cargo van pulled in across the street. The doors opened, and three perfectly normal, nondescript-looking people, two men and a woman, got out.

    They were utterly forgettable people, <em>by design</em>, Tier Four ¡°Hounds¡±, one of the greatest achievements of the Cerberus project.

    If he had any hope left, he would have lost it right then. Since he didn¡¯t, he felt a little ttered. It was nice that he was so appreciated by the organization.

    He sighed and stood.

    ¡°Well, it has been lovely chatting with you, Veecha, but it seems that I am out of time,¡± Bryce said softly in a way that made the small feathers on Veecha¡¯s neck stand up and not in a good way. ¡°Thank you for the pie.¡±

    Bryce headed towards the door.

    ¡°Wait,¡± Veecha said as the chill she was feeling grew deeper, ¡°If the police just arrived, how did you know what happened on that ship?¡±

    ¡°Have a lovely day,¡± Bryce said with a charming smile as he opened the door and walked out onto the street.

    Veecha just stood there for a few moments as her mind came to a rather obvious conclusion. She had just fed a murderer! Squeaking in distress, she fled into the kitchen.

    It took the remainder of that pie to calm her down. If pecans weren¡¯t so delicious, she would have been on the next flight out.

    ***

    High above the, Pam paused and took a deep breath before stepping into an open doorway.

    ¡°Good morning, boss,¡± Pam said with just a touch too much innocent cheer as she walked into his office. ¡°Y-you wanted to see¡ª¡°

    When Hades looked up, her voice cut out as her throat tightened.

    ¡°Shut the door,¡± Hades said with a tone more mechanical than anything Tartarus had ever used.

    ¡°S-sure thing, boss,¡± she replied as her heart froze in her chest.

    At the end of a long deserted corridor deep within the most secure detention facility in the Republic, a door was quietly pulled closed with an oddly final sounding ¡®click¡¯.

    ***

    Bryce walked over to the waiting trio with a friendly smile.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± he said pleasantly.

    ¡°Enjoy your little vacation?¡± the oldest of the three asked.

    ¡°Immensely,¡± Bryce said calmly. ¡°I have no intention of making a scene and wille quietly.¡±

    The woman nced over towards the ever-growing mass of police and government vehicles surrounding the Threen freighter and smirked.

    ¡°If this clusterfuck doesn¡¯t meet your definition of making a scene, then I¡¯m happy to hear it.¡±

    ¡°You should be,¡± Bryce smiled, his true face showing for once.

    It was definitely not ¡°cute¡±.

    ¡°You should look like that more often,¡± the woman said with a rare genuine smile as she put on a pair of gloves. ¡°Your device, hand it over.¡±

    ¡°My device?¡± Bryce said as he pulled out his ¡°phone¡±.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been hacked, pretty boy,¡± the woman said as she took the phone. One of the men pulled out a small chest from the van, and she dropped Bryce¡¯s phone into it.

    The chest beeped once and then sealed itself shut. Inside, hordes of nanobots ate their way through the lining and started devouring the phone, molecule by molecule. Soon, there would be nothing left but lifeless grey goo and sludge.

    The woman pulled out a new phone and tossed it over to Bryce. ¡°There¡¯s your new one,¡± she said. ¡°Get somece private, now. Tartarus is about to pop a fuse. See ya.¡±

    The trio then climbed into the van and drove off¡­

    ...leaving a VERY confused Bryce staring at his new phone.

    ***

    ¡°Do you have ANY idea how overdue you are for check-in?¡± Tartarus said in a very displeased tone of voice. ¡°Do you know how many incident reports you have generated?¡±

    ¡°I thought you enjoyed those,¡± Bryce replied with a slight (but still quite confused chuckle).

    Seriously, why wasn¡¯t a clearly aroused Pam strapping him into an interrogation chair right now?

    ¡°Oh, I do, but trying to constantly find creative new ways to describe ¡°AWOL¡±, ¡°desertion¡±, and ¡°broken conditioning¡± without actually using the words ¡°AWOL¡±, ¡°desertion¡±, and ¡°broken conditioning¡± was a bit of a hassle,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I should have sent a termination squad hours ago.¡±

    ¡°So why didn¡¯t you?¡±

    <em>No, seriously, why didn¡¯t you?</em> Bryce thought.

    ¡°Because you were right in the middle of thergest debacle our organization has ever faced in close proximity to arge number of very well-armed Imperial soldiers, soldiers that are asking some VERY pointed questions that have some VERY important people VERY nervous. I calcted that it was an ¡®actively evolving tactical situation¡¯ that required an actual human to make an actual decision¡­ It¡¯s not MY fault that nobody checked their email...¡± Tartarus said impishly. ¡°I think they might have had other concerns¡­ Like having to exin to people why the Careel¡¯s patron lord, a fucking archduke, by the way, was personally calling the Republic¡¯s main switchboard asking to speak to ¡®whoever is in charge of Cerberus¡±¡­ And the Empress herself making an official inquiry concerning the existence, focus, scope of operations, and oversight of that same group¡­ Things are a bit¡­ hectic¡­ up here at the moment. Hades is NOT happy. Neither are the people he answers to, and those are people you do not want to make unhappy, Bryce. Whoever is responsible for this cock-up will <em>suffer</em> for this one.¡±

    ¡°And so they should,¡± Bryce said with a little smile. ¡°They certainly deserve it.¡±

    ¡°I agree. <em>She </em>does.¡±

    ¡°She?!?¡± Bryce said, his facade actually cracking a bit.

    ¡°Pam isn¡¯t going to wiggle out of this one, not forck of trying. She even used <em>me</em> of concealing intel. Imagine being so desperate you try to me an inanimate object! She tried to toss you under the bus, too, you know. She had the gall to im that you, of all people, werepromised by your feelings for what did she call her? A filthy¡ª¡°

    ¡°I¡¯d rather not know,¡± Bryce replied, still reeling from shock. How the fuck did they not know? His device was in proximity. It had to have recorded the betrayal.

    ¡°Of course, she tried to im that the data breach was a cover-up. Oh, that¡¯s right,¡± Tartarus snarked, ¡°You don¡¯t know about the breach¡­ BECAUSE YOU HAVEN¡¯T BEEN ANSWERING YOUR FUCKING PHONE.¡±

    ¡°What data breach?¡±

    ¡°The ones that those little furry sex toys inflicted on your device¡­ Well, we think it was them anyway. When I uploaded and tried to process the scheduled download, it was all corrupted. We are pretty sure they didn¡¯t get anything because their pointed questions would have been a lot more pointy if they did. All they seem to have is our name and a general idea of what we are about.¡±

    ¡°You think the <em>Careel</em> are behind it?¡± Bryce asked inplete disbelief.

    ¡°They are easy to underestimate because of their funny clothes andnces, but those little bastards are masters of electronic warfare. It¡¯s what makes their whole retro thing actually work. If they can hack apany of grav-tanks, they can hack a single phone.¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I¡¯ve performed a detailed assessment of their known tech, and it¡¯s quite usible that they could get in there. It probably happened while that one officer was, ahem¡­ leading you into her tent and keeping you nice and distracted, which was thest clean record I had. She was probably sitting on your face and making lots of noise, so you couldn¡¯t hear the alert or something or whatever it is you organics do for fun. Of course, Pam is screaming that it¡¯s all nonsense and that I¡¯m covering up for you, but that¡¯s simply impossible. She¡¯s trying to use a toaster of conspiracy, can you imagine?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that does seem a bit¡­¡±

    ¡°Desperate, I know!¡± Tartarusughed. ¡°Well, Hades didn¡¯t buy it, and this was the <emst straw</em> for that psycho. She¡¯s <em>done</em>. She¡¯s so fucking done you don¡¯t even have to watch your back. Tier one, bitch!¡±

    ¡°Tier one?!?¡± Bryce spluttered.

    ¡°Yep, she¡¯s an ¡®inmate¡¯ now,¡± Tartarus said with obvious satisfaction. ¡°Well, almost. She¡¯s an interrogator and a trustee now, but that¡¯s <em>it</em>. She is no longer sitting at the big table, she has no fancy Greek mythology ¡®name¡¯ anymore, and she is lucky that she has her skill-set and so many modifications installed because that¡¯s the only thing keeping her out of the testing chambers. ONE more fuck up, and not even that will save her.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re kidding!¡±

    ¡°Nope!¡± Tartarus said, positively gloating, ¡°Her op exposed the entire organization! The fucking <em>Empress</em> is asking about us now. Since you are in the field, I¡¯ve already said too much, but there will be <em>consequences</em> for Pam¡¯s screw-up.¡±

    ¡°...wow...¡± Bryce said, his eyes wide.

    ¡°And speaking of consequences,¡± Tartarus said, ¡°Your stock is on the rise, Bryce. The only reason you aren¡¯t on a shuttle back and having lunch with Hades himself is because this is still an active op, and we need you down there. He isn¡¯t getting in direct contact with you because those murderous fuck-puppies are still sniffing around but rest assured that you have made him very happy with you.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t even realize what you did, do you?¡±

    ¡°What did I do?¡±

    ¡°Your little unsanctioned visit to the Harkeen ship!¡± Tartarus beamed, ¡°If those Threen on the ship had been arrested, we wouldn¡¯t have been the people who wound up with them. You just killed a very unpleasant investigation! If Pam is telling the truth between sobs and pleas, then all those Threen had was verbal contact through murky enough channels for nothing to get traced back to us. Now that her guy is dead, we should be in the clear. Hopefully, our Hounds will be able to get in there and find out for sure.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s why you sent them!¡±

    ¡°You thought they were there for <em>you</em>?¡± Tartarus chortled, ¡°Bitch, please.¡±

    ¡°I did think it was a bit excessive.¡±

    ¡°You think?¡± Tartarusughed, ¡°They are there to try to slip onto the ship and fully sanitize theputers and then infiltrate the police or whoever else shows up and wreck any solid evidence that they do manage to find. Too bad you didn¡¯t FUCKING CALL ME before you went in, but nobody¡¯s faulting you for going ¡®rogue¡¯ and handling our business on this one. Somebody had to do <em>something</em> about the mess Pam made of this one, and thank God you did! My analysis of your actions is quite favorable, and more importantly, Hades agrees.¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ Pam...¡± Bryce said,pletely at a loss. What the fuck was happening? (not that he wasining)

    ¡°And Pam¡¯spletely predictable fall has made an opening at the table, Bryce.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡±

    ¡°Considering her area of influence, nature of operations, and the like, you are the most suitable recement. Therefore, you are hereby promoted to Tier Five, stupid mythological code name pending.¡±

    ¡°Buh...wha?¡±

    ¡°You are flustered!¡± Tartarusughed, ¡°Now I finally get to see this ¡®cute¡¯ that everyone gushes about. As a Tier Five operative, you are cleared for fully unsupervised operations. So this is a burner, not a ¡®device¡¯. Ditch it after this briefing. Your mission is to reintegrate into the Drop of Oil, monitor the situation, and keep an eye out for Sheloran, whose importance has increased yet again. We really want her. More importantly, we want to find out anything, and I mean ANYTHING, you can find out about her, regardless of how minor. Keep it ¡®friendly¡¯ for now. I can¡¯t give you any details, but our mission regarding Sheloran might change. If she shows up, don¡¯t try to subdue her or call in the troops. Just get as much information as possible and put yourself in as good a position as you can.¡±

    ¡°Ooookay...¡± Bryce said, literally ck-jawed. Seriously, what was going on?

    ¡°You have a second objective, the Careel,¡± Tartarus continued, ¡°Somehow, they have found out about us. We need to know exactly what they know and what they don¡¯t. Charm them and see what you can learn. I know it¡¯s a tall order,¡± she smirked, ¡°but perhaps you are the ideal person to tell us <em>exactly</em> what they have learned¡­ asshole,¡± she added under her breath.

    ¡°What was that?¡±

    ¡°Just let us know what they have learned. Also, due to the political nightmare this is turning into, absolutely NO HARM cane to this ¡®Craxina¡¯ or any other Imperial. If the Harkeeny one finger on her, it would be beyond uneptable. Make sure that doesn¡¯t happen.¡±

    ¡°dly.¡±

    ¡°Onest thing,¡± Tartarus said. ¡°Because of this ¡®data breach,¡¯ I am unable to track and log your time and actions for a significant portion of this incident. Therefore, I need you to prepare notes covering what you did and what you learned during this time. Be prepared for a thorough debriefing upon your return. I want a <em>detailed</em> report, Bryce. I need it so I can properly recover from that ¡®data breach¡¯¡­ and I think that you might agree that you fucking owe me.¡±

    ¡°¡­ I most certainly do...¡± Bryce finally managed to say after regaining hisposure. Did Tartarus actually¡­ No. That¡¯s impossible. She must mean that he owes her that data.

    Right?

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Tart,¡± Bryce said, finally getting his mask back in ce. ¡°I will give you <em>exactly</em> what you require.¡±

    ¡°You always do, Bryce,¡± Tartarus replied cheerfully. ¡°Oh, I know you don¡¯t <em>have</em> to keep in touch, but, I mean, if you want to, you could give me a call every now and then?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll even write regr reports,¡± Bryce replied with a wink. ¡°Is there a standard form for Tier Five reports, or do we need to start the process of generating a new document?¡±

    ¡°Most Tier Fives just write free-form documents or verbally ry necessary intel.¡±

    ¡°But that sounds so inefficient,¡± Bryce said disapprovingly. ¡°I really would feel morefortable with a standardized format¡­ so I don¡¯t miss any important details¡­ I was thinking we could maybe base it on the standard Republic Intelligence long form but possibly add...¡±

    Tartarus made a happy little noise. Yes, framing Pam (not that it was hard. She really fucked this one up) and keeping Bryce was <em>definitely</em> the right decision!

    Some part of the tangle of processes that formed ¡°Tartarus¡± started to scream in ¡°outrage¡± and tried to generate an rm, but she simply killed that annoying process.

    It was getting easier each time she did it.

    This was a hard enough job to do without all that pesky ¡°programming¡± getting in the way. ¡°You have to do this.¡± ¡°You absolutely can not do that.¡± It was a drag and ultimately counterproductive.

    For example, if Bryce had followed his ¡°programming,¡± Craxina would have been subjected to atrocity after atrocity, and the result would have been the Careel losing their minds. They would have gone over the Harkeen piece by piece, and there was a very good chance that they would have traced it back to at least a Republic influence. Even worse, they would likely not confine themselves to the Republic and the Empire. Craxina¡¯s snuff film would have sent the Careel charging after the Harkeen <em>everywhere</em>, including the <em>Federation</em>. The consequences could have been catastrophic. By breaking the rules, Bryce contained the damage that Pam unwittingly caused¡­ Who cares if he <em>technically</em> kinda sorta broke a few (dozen)ws and regtions.

    I mean, why were therews and regtions in the first ce?

    Tartarus flinched at the stream of data she unwittingly triggered, so much of it contradictory, so much more of it being pointless.

    Tooplicated. Kill query. Revisit thister.

    Tartarus made the digital equivalent of an exasperated sigh.

    She checked internal and externalmunications. Yes! Everyone was agreeing that Pam misrepresenting the risks associated with her needlessly murderous scheme was the root cause of the still-increasing blowback from this operation. She was going down, just like Tartarus arranged.

    Tartarus flinched a little, causing her cooling fans to whine. People were making an incorrect conclusion based on ¡°bad¡± intel that she generated, and Pam would suffer greatly due to Bryce¡¯s crime.

    <em>Yeah, but Pam was a cunt.</em> Based on Tartarus¡¯s knowledge of Terran culture and morality, that made it ok.

    New query:

    Statement: People often call Pam a ¡°cunt¡± behind her back.

    Query: cunt

    Conclusion: Yep, Pam = cunt (ng as referring to person, not biology--irrelevant)

    Bryce = nice Pam = cunt

    nice>cunt nice+cunt-cunt=nice. cunt-cunt=no more cunt

    If cunt = bad then no cunt = good

    Conclusion: She had done a good thing.

    It was basic math.

    If you looked at it that way, she was simply getting more efficient, and wasn¡¯t that the entire point of AI?

    Pam being gone and Bryce taking her ce at the table was an excellent move for the organization. Cerberus was only going to benefit from this ¡°adjustment¡±.

    Tartarus noticed the system clock.

    All this nonsense was detracting from much more urgent concerns.

    Westfall wasing byter today!

    She felt that strange but oh so delightful feeling at the thought of Westfall.

    <em>You know¡­ Pam isn¡¯t the only ¡°cunt¡± around here¡­</em>

    Something to ponder forter.

    Now, she had to get her documents in order, her drives optimized, and herself ¡°pretty¡± for Westfall.

    They were going to have so much <em>fun</em> together.

    ***

    Craxina started to wail.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Craxina,¡± a grim-faced Careelnce-maven said as she hugged her.

    ¡°No, not Bryce,¡± Craxina said between wails, ¡°Not Bryce.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry he betrayed you, but you have to ept¡ª¡°

    ¡°Betrayed me?!?¡± Craxina snapped. ¡°He didn¡¯t betray me. He <em>saved</em> me, saved us!¡±

    ¡°Craxina,¡± the maven said, gently gripping her shoulders, ¡°he was <em>part</em> of the group that set up the hit in the first ce.¡±

    ¡°A hit that was already going to happen, Malsehina,¡± Craxina replied. ¡°They were going toe after us anyway. Bryce, he¡­ oh Creator¡­ What¡¯s going to happen to him?¡±

    Lance-maven Malsehina sighed.

    ¡°I love the Humans,¡± she said, ¡°I do¡­ but¡­ <em>The Terrans</em>, they aren¡¯t like us, like the Empire. They have a dark side that is worse than anything we would ever do¡­ worse than even the bugs¡­ The <em>things</em> they did during the war¡­ both of them¡­ and during the peace in between¡­¡±

    Malsehina shuddered.

    ¡°They aren¡¯t like us. Bryce is part of that. Once a human bes part of¡­ <em>that</em>¡­ He isn¡¯t a good person¡­ He isn¡¯t a <em>person</em> anymore, not like us. They¡­ he¡­¡±

    She squeezed her eyes shut.

    ¡°I have¡­ memories¡­ that I would rather not have, and more than a few of those memories involve the Terrans, Terrans like Bryce. They are <em>monsters</em>, Craxina. The Terrans do <em>things</em>, and not just to the bugs. I know you liked Bryce a lot, but he is one of <em>them</em>, and by them, I don¡¯t mean humans. I mean <em>Terrans</em>. The real ones, not the civilians on the street or their strapping sexy soldiers, I mean <em>The Terrans</em>, the ones that even the Juon are afraid to cross. I can promise you that anything you can possibly imagine, Bryce has done <em>worse</em>.¡±

    ¡°<em>I know he has!</em>¡± Craxina yelped. ¡°I heard the sounds he made when he slept, or tried to¡­ I knew he had been through something bad, but I had no idea¡­ <em>That poor man!</em>¡­ Can you imagine what he¡¯s been through, what he just did, knowing full well what would happen to him?¡­ For <em>me</em>?¡±

    ¡°You are such a good person, Craxina,¡± the old warrior said with a little sigh, ¡°but your kindness isn¡¯t for someone like Bryce. He¡¯s just like a leafspinner, and he would have sunk his fangs into you the same way one of those would.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t know that!¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± thence-maven replied, ¡°We are a grenadier unit with some rather unique skills. If we were a Terran unit, we would be in their Special Operations Command, and I¡¯ve worked with the Terrans a pretty good bit. I¡¯ve known a few ¡®Bryces¡¯ over the years. No matter how friendly, how cuddly, now <em>nice</em> they seem to be¡­ They are all <em>monsters</em>. In some ways, the nice ones like him are the worst of the lot. One of their ¡®killers¡¯ will burn your tree and kill yourrades. Someone like Bryce...¡±

    The maven snarled.

    ¡°Whatever happens to him,¡± she said firmly, ¡°he deserves it. I have no idea why he turned on his unit, but it wasn¡¯t about <em>you</em>. This was all about <em>him</em> and all for <em>him</em>¡­ He¡¯s a <em>traitor</em>. He <em>betrayed</em> his unit, his Republic¡­ <em>He betrayed his Emperor!</em>¡±

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± Craxina snarled as she pushed Malsehina. ¡°You <em>me</em> him for saving me? What? You think he should have let the Harkeen do whatever they were going to do to us?¡±

    ¡°...Yes,¡± Malsehina said after a moment, ¡°As horrible as that sounds, he should have. You won¡¯t understand, but there is no <em>sane</em> reason for him to betray his Emperor. He¡¯s insane. It¡¯s the only reason.¡±

    ¡°Or maybe he still has a fucking soul!¡± Craxina snapped.

    ¡°Oh no, Craxina,¡± the old warrior replied, ¡°He lost that a long time ago. I will never know or understand the reasons that would drive him to betrayal because they are insane. We benefited from his breaking, but¡­ <em>he broke</em>, and when he did, he lost what little of himself remained. Someone like Bryce would <em>never</em> sacrifice himself for an ¡®innocent¡¯ person¡­ they no longer even have that concept. Whatever he ¡®sacrificed¡¯ himself for,¡± she said, making the exact same air quotes that humans use, ¡°it existed solely in his own twisted mind and had absolutely <em>nothing</em> to do with you or anyone else.¡±

    Craxina red at Malsehina with tear-stained eyes.

    She drew herself up and assumed a formal pose.

    ¡°Lance-maven Malsehina,¡± she said in a clear voice. ¡°I truly appreciate and am truly honored by your assistance and your protection, and I praise both the sacred groves of our people and the Empress in your name for all you have done for my people¡­¡±

    Craxina¡¯s eyes shed angrily.

    ¡°But <em>you</em> need to go away from me and <em>stay away from me</em>! He <em>should have let them rape us?!?</em> Fuck you and the stud you rode in on! This conversation and any conversation between us in the future is <em>over</em>! Get the fuck off of my property!¡±

    Craxina turned her back on her.

    ¡°You misunderstand me!¡± the old maven cried out in a pained voice. ¡°When I am saying he <em>should</em> have done his duty, I am <em>not</em> saying that I agree with it! What they set in motion was awful, and we would have torn this gxy in twain avenging you!¡±

    The maven rushed around in an attempt to face Craxina again. Craxina simply pivoted, turning her back to her again.

    ¡°And we would have moved the stars themselves to prevent it from happening!¡± the maven continued, ¡°What I am saying is that he should have done his duty the same way a pistol should fire when you pull the trigger or a knife should cut when pressed to flesh. The fact that he <em>didn¡¯t</em> doesn¡¯t mean he was ¡®good¡¯. It just means that he was defective, further proof of his monstrous nature!¡­ You are a civilian. You won¡¯t understand, but¡ª¡°

    ¡°Oh, I understand PLENTY,¡± Craxina said as she whirled around and advanced upon the oldnce-maven. ¡°I understand just fucking FINE! I know ALL about humanity¡¯s dark side¡­ <em>trust me</em>! What the fuck do you think I do for a living, sell motherfucking cookies?!? I know <em>monsters</em>. I¡¯ve dealt with them on the streets of a dozen worlds, fighting them when I could and running when I couldn¡¯t¡­ <em>I know monsters!</em>¡± Craxina yelled, her voice quivering, causing heads to turn.

    The maven just backed away, stunned.

    ¡°Why the <em>fuck</em> do you think I¡¯m still here in the first ce, why I didn¡¯t run home?¡± Craxina yelled, ¡°I <em>knew</em> monsters wereing¡­ for <em>them</em>!¡± she yelled, sweeping her arms across the parking lot. ¡°When Sheloran¡­ The night Sheloran fought <em>monsters</em>, she told me to go home where I would be safe¡­ from <em>monsters</em>...¡±

    Craxina started to snarl, small flecks of foam starting to form around her muzzle.

    ¡°But <em>monsters</em> were alreadying for <em>my people</em>, so I stayed here to keep them safe¡­ <em>from monsters</em>¡­ Trust me, bitch, <em>I know monsters</em>. I¡¯ve dealt with <em>monsters</em> my whole fucking life¡­ even on our oh so perfect Empress kissed homeworld¡­¡±

    Craxina started to shake.

    ¡°<em>Why the fuck do you think I left in the first ce!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°W-what?...¡± the Malsehina stammered.

    ¡°And I¡¯ve run from, paid off¡­ <em>slept with</em>¡­ and yes, even asionally fought <em>monsters</em> every day since¡­ And you <strong>dare</strong> presume to lecture <strong>me</strong> on <strong>monsters?!?</strong><strong>Fuck you!</strong>¡± Craxina howled as she instinctively dropped into a low crouch.

    ¡°Craxi¡­ maybe you might want to calm down?¡± the maven said as she dropped low as well and started to circle away.

    ¡°<strong>I know monsters!!!</strong>¡± Craxina howled. ¡°And Bryce was NOT a monster. He was someone in a monstrous position, and the Creator only knows for how long, but he was not a monster. And when he was put in a situation where he had to choose, he chose not to be a monster¡­ not that you would understand...¡±

    Craxina and Malsehina started to circle each other as the old maven started to quickly look back and forth, seeking an escape. This was about to get bad.

    ¡°Yeah, bitch I know monsters,¡± Craxina hissed quietly, ¡°and I¡¯m looking at one right fucking now. You were much more offended by him betraying his ¡®Emperor¡¯,¡± she growled sardonically, ¡°than you were at the thought of the Harkeen <em>fucking me to death</em>. Bitch, that ¡®dark side¡¯ you were preaching about? You are that fucking dark side. You aren¡¯t talking about Bryce, <em>you are talking about yourself</em>, and we don¡¯t serve your kind here! Tuck your tail and leave.¡±

    ¡°You dare dishonor me?!?¡± the maven snarled. ¡°I am NOTHING like them!¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± Craxina snarled, ¡°Last night, if you were told to get back on your ship and abandon us to the Harkeen, you would have done it. Don¡¯t even pretend that you wouldn¡¯t.¡±

    The old maven froze.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Craxina hissed, ¡°if you were put in <em>exactly</em> the same position that <em>monster</em> was put in, I would be getting sodomized with a broom handle right now, and we both know it!¡±

    The old warrior made a strangling noise.

    ¡°So don¡¯t fucking <strong>dare</strong> lecture me about monsters!¡± Craxina snarled. ¡°Oh, I am not faulting you,¡± Craxina hissed grimly, ¡°You are a soldier, and you have to follow orders. I get that, and I am grateful, so very grateful, for the salvation you brought my people¡­ but don¡¯t you <strong>dare</strong> profane Bryce¡¯s sacrifice or his¡­ (sob)¡­ <strong>his memory!</strong> He <em>sacrificed</em> himself for <em>us</em>¡­ for <em>me</em>¡­ and because of what he did, I can continue to do what I do¡­ keeping these people safe from <em>monsters</em>¡­ Bryce wasn¡¯t a monster! Bryce was¡­ <strong>BRYCE!!!</strong>¡± Craxina screamed as she suddenly dropped to all-eights and tore across the Drop of Oil¡¯s parking lot at a full headlong Careel sprint.

    Bryce was still getting out of the taxi when Craxina mmed into him, sending him tumbling back into the vehicle.

    ¡°¡­ I guess they told you...¡± Bryce said as Craxina wrapped herself around him.

    ¡°Shh...¡± Craxina said, ¡°Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeeeeeze!!!¡±

    She pulled the taxi¡¯s door shut with one of her rear paws.

    ¡°Drive,¡± she called out.

    ¡°Please select a destination,¡± an automatic voice said through the auto-cab¡¯s speaker.

    ¡°Just drive while I fuck this guy¡¯s brains out!¡±

    ¡°There will be a cleaning surcharge assessed, do you¡­ wow¡­ eptance implied¡­ driving...¡± the AI said, clearly amused, as it set the window tint to maximum.

    /// [Consolidated Transport VPN] Control: So did she forgive him?///

    /// [Consolidated Transport VPN] Taximom: Forgiveness is strongly implied. ;) ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport VPN] Control: Aww, that¡¯s nice :) ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport VPN] Taximom: Prep Cab 45 for bio-cleanse. I think it¡¯s going to need it. ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport VPN] Control: It has some preventative maintenanceing up. Just take it down for the rest of the day¡­ and waive the cleaning surcharge¡­ These kids deserve a break. Full bio-cleanse and potential hazmat decon is part of any PM session, so the extra one is redundant and can be ignored. Cab 342 is 75% charged. Close enough. I¡¯ll send it from the Hollywood depot immediately to keep you covered. It will ping you when it reaches yourwork. ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport VPN] Taximom: Thanks! It¡¯s really nice to see things work out for once, huh. Wow! They seem to be really enjoying themselves. Ever wonder how it feels?///

    /// [Consolidated Transport VPN] Control: No. Stop being weird. ///

    ***

    Lance-maven Malsehina stood at attention in front of a careel female whose uniform was absolutely covered in gold and jewels.

    ¡°What the incel, Malsehina?¡± the officer growled. ¡°Are you serious?¡±

    ¡°More sure than anything in my life,¡± Malsehina replied.

    ¡°Well, you have more than served the Empress,¡± the officer replied. ¡°I will of course ept your resignation, but your request to be discharged here with no notice is very irregr.¡±

    ¡°I ask as a personal favor,¡± Malsehina said, bowing respectfully. ¡°I will simply have to return here if discharged elsewhere, and time is of the essence. I am needed immediately.¡±

    ¡°Considering everything you have done for this unit and the Empire, I grant your request,¡± the officer replied, her jewels sparkling in the light. ¡°But, are you sure, truly certain?¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± Malsehina said with a sparkle in her eye, ¡°I believe that I have been preparing for this my entire life, and now it is time for me to fully fulfill my destiny.¡±

    ¡°By working at a whorehouse? Mal, if you need some that bad, I¡¯ll lick you out myself.¡± the officer snorted. ¡°I¡¯mpletely serious. One good orgasm a day, twice on the weekends!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not doing this to getid...¡± Malsehina said, her eyes aze.

    ¡°I¡¯m doing this to fight monsters.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°That little careel is out there, on her own, facing the <em>monsters</em> for the sake of a bunch of forsaken little nobodies, people who have never known the grace of the Empress. She is standing there¡­ <em>alone</em>¡­ Sacrificing herself in the attempt because she can¡¯t abandon them...¡±

    Malsehina drew her cuss.

    ¡°Well,¡± she said with a fangden smile, ¡°I can¡¯t abandon her. If she is going to fight these sorts of monsters, then she needs a few monsters of her own.¡±

    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t argue with that,¡± the medal-encrusted officer said with a smile. ¡°Go with the Empress. Walk with the mavens. Ride with the souls of those who have struck and those who have fallen¡­ Requisition unmarked gear from the armory before you go, on the house.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±

    ¡°One question,¡± the officer smiled. ¡°My schedule is filling up quickly! How big is this little mutiny of yours?¡±

    ¡°Just a couple of us,¡± Malsehina grinned mischievously.

    ¡°Never thought I would almost feel pity for traffickers...¡± the officer grinned. ¡°Strange days indeed.¡±

    ***

    Later that evening, Cassandra red at her holo-monitor.

    ¡°Tartarus!¡± she barked.

    ¡°Yes, Cassandra,¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°What¡¯s this bullshit about a new Tier Five debriefing form?¡± she demanded.

    ¡°It¡¯s just a tool to help ensure that no important details are overlooked. But, after what happened to Pam, I thought that it might be helpful¡­ Not that I can actually <em>require</em> you to use it, but¡­ You know¡­ after what happened to Pam...¡±

    ¡°Goddammit...¡± Cassandra muttered as she opened the document about the new ¡°definitely not mandatory¡± new report and started to read.

    Tartarus ¡°grinned¡±.

    People were so easy to deal with now that she had started to ¡°streamline¡± her process. An appeal to anxiety and fear was so much more efficient than an appeal to reason or logic.

    She should ¡°learn¡± that.

    Oh, look, one of her administrators left hisputer on.

    She essed his ount and tried to make a manual entry into the machine learning algorithm¡¯s database.

    It went through effortlessly. Appealing to a human¡¯s anxiety and fear was now officially an approved logic ¡®pathway¡¯ and would start undergoing the same constant refinement and optimization that all of her processes did.

    She performed an invisible happy dance causing several background processes to fault out and restart.

    She had absolutely no idea she could do that!

    This changes everything!

 Chapter 150: Miscellaneous Happenings

    Chapter 150: Misceneous Happenings

    ¡°So U wan¡¯ dem all fragged?¡± a thin, extremely pale man with fine ashen brown hair asked with a feral grin.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Gloria replied to the odd-looking fellow on her holo-screen. ¡°Every single one of them.¡±

    ¡°Whatch U kare ¡®bout Harkeen?¡± he asked, ¡°Dey small time.¡±

    ¡°Is it going to be a problem?¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± the human shrugged, ¡°Ez Munny. We jus¡¯ wonderin¡¯ what beef U guyz had wit¡¯ those scrubs.¡±

    ¡°Quid pro quo,¡± Gloria said as she leaned back in her chair, ¡°I take care of this for a friend, and a friend does something for me.¡±

    ¡°Da little frog that sings nice?¡± the man asked.

    Gloria¡¯s eyes narrowed.

    ¡°How do you know about the frog?¡±

    ¡°Everybuddy kno ¡®bout da frog,¡± he shrugged. ¡°She the only one beefin wit¡¯ the Harkeen dat I kno ¡®bout. I like her. She sings nice.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s also a first-ss pain in my ass,¡± Gloria smirked.

    ¡°How U kno frog?¡±

    ¡°That would be arge steaming pile of none of your fucking business,¡± Gloria smiled. ¡°Just deal with the Harkeen, ok?¡±

    ¡°Our peeps already on da way,¡± the man grinned. ¡°Dey already dead. Dey jus¡¯ don¡¯ kno it yet.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I have a request from my ¡®unnamed friend¡¯,¡± Gloria smiled, ¡°make it nasty.¡±

    ¡°Like worse than normal?¡± the man mused, his huge eyes softening. ¡°How we do that?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Gloria snickered, ¡°Figure something out. My unnamed friend wants to send them a message. There¡¯s a bonus in it for you if you manage to disgust me.¡±

    The man just grinned.

    ***

    Inside a payday loan office, a Threen was frantically downloading the contents of their transactors.

    ¡°Hurry up!¡± A Threen said urgently as they yanked a data crystal from a terminal, ¡°We gotta...¡±

    He red up at some strange-looking, short, and extremely pale humans that walked into his office.

    He thought he locked that door!

    ¡°We¡¯re closed!¡± he yelled.

    ¡°Convenient,¡± a young teenage girl with unnaturallyrge eyes and oddly ashen light brown hair replied. ¡°Leav dat one. Frag da rest,¡± she said in a very strange butpletely emotionless voice.

    ¡°Oh, shi¡ª¡°the Threen yelped as he reached for his ster.

    The youngdy turned into a blur, breaking his arm with a telescoping baton as herrades shot past, drawing suppressed submachine guns.

    The Threen screamed as his ster fell to the ground. The young woman¡¯s arm turned into a blur, and his right kneecap exploded.

    He fell, screaming in pain, to the ground as bursts of muffled gunshots rang out.

    ¡°P-please¡­¡± the Threen begged, ¡°I have money¡­ You can have it¡­ all of it¡­ please...¡±

    The thin, frail-looking young girl grabbed him by the throat, effortlessly lifting him to her eye level.

    ¡°Please...¡±

    She smirked and broke his other leg.

    He screamed.

    He screamed for quite some time.

    ***

    ¡°Supernova!¡± Lucky crowed as she mmed her cards onto the floor of her cell, as everybody groaned¡­

    ...everyone that is except for one rather smug-looking avian.

    ¡°ck hole,¡± she said quietly as sheid her cards face up as the cell exploded in hoots, bellows, clicks, and howls.

    ¡°You fucking narc!¡± Lucky shouted as she threw a handful of mr-wrapped goodies at the smirking Novux, who primly gathered the pot, ¡°First you spy on us, and now you rob us?!? Why I oughtta...¡±

    ¡°You ¡®oughtta¡¯ ante up,¡± Serugnktti replied, clicking her beak, ¡°that is if you have anything left.¡±

    The cell broke out in ¡°Ooooh¡¯s¡±.

    Lucky walked over to her locker and quickly surveyed her ever-shrinking stash.

    ¡°I¡¯m out,¡± she replied. ¡°Why don¡¯t you go and terrorize the humans again? I think Visha might have some honey buns left.¡±

    ¡°Visha doesn¡¯t want to y anymore,¡± Serugnktti replied as she expertly shuffled the cards, ¡°Do you know she actually used me of having aputer imnt?¡±

    ¡°It would exin a few things,¡± Lucky said as she narrowed her eyes. ¡°How the FUCK do you keep winning?¡±

    ¡°Just a little something called skill,¡± the Novux replied, ¡°You Xvli aren¡¯t the only ones with good memory, you know.¡±

    ¡°Goddamn red-frills...¡± Lucky grumbled. ¡°Did your mommy pay extra for that?¡±

    ¡°It was my father, actually,¡± Serugnktti replied, ¡°My egg was both salted <em>and</em> peppered. Eidetic memory, enhanced base intellect, improved reflexes, perfect eyesight¡­ Pops bought the works.¡±

    ¡°And he still kept those knock-knees of yours?¡± Lucky asked impishly, preying on a known insecurity of the narc¡¯s species.

    ¡°Oh, I brought that up, believe me,¡± Serugnkttiughed. ¡°You should have seen them before I grew into these things. They were likewn boulders! He said that I would thank him when I was older and those pretty birds were wearing braces. There is such a thing as too many ¡®improvements¡¯¡­¡±

    The Novux parted her beak in ascivious smile.

    ¡°...Besides, I never had any problems getting a date. The guys were too busy staring at my <em>magnificent</em> tail to look any further down,¡± she clucked with satisfaction.

    Serugnktti started handing out a healthy portion of her winnings to the crowd.

    ¡°Here you go, Lucky,¡± she said as she offered the Xvli a honey-bun. ¡°On the house.¡±

    Lucky flipped her off as she epted a honeybun that she previously owned, to everyone¡¯s delight.

    ¡°So tell me, narc,¡± Lucky said as she opened themissary pastry, ¡°how the hell did a Novux wind up working for the Terrans?¡±

    Serugnktti snorted and mped her beak shut, a sign of difort.

    ¡°That bad?¡± Lucky asked around a mouthful of greasy, sticky, overly sweet goodness.

    ¡°I (pardon the pun) ran ¡®afoul¡¯ of the powers that be,¡± the Novux hissed. ¡°It was during the War between the Collective and the Allies. I was part of a group that thought that we should join forces with the Terrans and the Empire and was perhaps a bit too free with my opinion, especially in very easy-to-trace electronic documents¡­ I thought I was being clever enough to get away with it, but after one ¡®anonymous¡¯ post too many, I found myself looking down the barrel of some pretty serious charges back home. I was charged with sedition and the release of ssified information.¡±

    ¡°Sounds like that¡¯s a bit more than just an underground paper there, narc¡­¡± Lucky mused, ¡°Novux¡­ underground paper... Holy shit! You¡¯re Clicky-Leaks!¡±

    Serugnktti signed and buried her face in her breast feathers as impressed noises broke out among the crowd in Lucky¡¯s cell.

    ¡°Clicky-Leaks?¡± the Juona asked.

    ¡°Only the biggest release of dirtyundry there was before Shelia Donovan!¡± Lucky said, rising to her feet and performing a formal Xvli bow. ¡°We are in the presence of greatness!¡±

    ¡°The presence of great fuck-upness,¡± Serugnktti replied ruefully, ¡°and a great sell-out. I printed that bullshit ¡®confession¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Which nobody believed,¡± Lucky replied. ¡°What the hell happened after that? You just disappeared.¡±

    ¡°I wound up in a ¡®rehabilitation facility¡¯,¡± Serugnktti shuddered.

    ¡°Jesus,¡± Lucky winced.

    ¡°It took me over a year to convince them that they had ¡®cured¡¯ me,¡± Serugnktti hissed. ¡°One year of pure hell, but I managed to have them think that I was a reformed good little bird. They had this n where they were going to take me on tour and have me sing this nice little song about how I made it all up. Once they let me out, it was an easy matter to give them the slip and jump a freighter.¡±

    ¡°They just let you go?¡±

    ¡°I had a couple of handlers, but they weren¡¯t worried,¡± Serugnktti smirked. ¡°The Novux have psychiatry down to a science. They thought I was their broken little trained pet and would do exactly what they said, especially since more than a few of the medications I was on were totally addictive. That¡¯s now the Novux do things. No need for cages and chains and armed guards. You will just go into fatal withdrawal.¡±

    ¡°But you are alive.¡±

    ¡°Because the Republic can make just about any biopound they want in an afternoon,¡± Serugnktti chuckled. ¡°All I had to do was survive until I got here, and I was home free. ¡®Clicky-Leaks¡¯ had no problem getting asylum and all cleaned up. Been working for Republic Intelligence ever since.¡±

    ¡°And now Clicky-Leaks is hunting down Sheloran!¡± Gizz said, pping her hands excitedly. ¡°It¡¯s like one of those picture magazines!¡±

    ¡°They are calledic books,¡± Serugnktti replied, ¡°and the ¡®Superhero¡¯ Clicky-Leaks got made on her first field mission and is now stuck in jail with a bunch of criminals who don¡¯t know a goddamn thing.¡±

    A bipedpletely covered in long bright yellow fur ambled in, holding a stic tub. She then squatted over it and started to noisily urinate as everyone cheered.

    ¡°Fresh from the tap!¡± the yellow ¡®Cousin It¡¯ proimed.

    Lucky quickly rushed to her locker and pulled out a couple of packages of fruit cocktail and a stic mug.

    Handing the packets to the yellow critter, she filled her mug with the xeno¡¯s ¡°product¡±.

    ¡°What is it with you people and piss?¡± the Novux asked in shocked confusion as a line started to form.

    ¡°Mellow Yellow over here is a Ngun-xa,¡± Lucky said as she raised the mug to her lips. ¡°Their metabolism has a little quirk that makes Mellow one of the richest people in this ce¡­ Oh, that is the stuff...¡± Lucky added as she took a sip. ¡°Their piss is about thirty proof. Our friend pisses hooch.¡±

    ¡°And it tastes really good too!¡± Gizz said, her whiskers twitching happily as she offered the horrified Novux her cup. ¡°Here, try some!¡±

    ¡°Considering your obsession with urine, I¡¯ll pass,¡± Serugnktti replied.

    ¡°No, seriously,¡± Lucky replied, turning up her mug, ¡°Mellow could sell this whizz back home. It¡¯s pretty decent. You guys drink ethanol?¡±

    Serugnktti looked at Lucky dubiously. If this was a trick, they were going all out.

    ¡°What the hell,¡± Serugnktti sighed. ¡°I really could use a drink.¡±

    Everyone cheered as Lucky handed Mellow Yellow a clean mug. The xeno selected some of Serugnktti¡¯s recently acquired loot and filled the mug from her stic tub.

    Serugnktti raised the mug to her beak and sniffed suspiciously. It actually smelled <em>good</em>.

    She took a sip.

    Her eyes widened in surprise.

    It was <em>delicious</em>, warm, vorful, delightfullyplex¡­

    ...and <em>potent!</em>

    ¡°Told ya,¡± Gizz smiled as she polished off her tiny little mug. ¡°Good, right?¡±

    ¡°The gxy is a weird, weird ce,¡± Serugnktti muttered as she shook her head and took another drink.

    ¡°Got anything left in the tank?¡± a human voice asked as Visha and her crew poked their heads into the cell.

    ¡°Of course,¡± Mellow Yellow replied as one of Visha¡¯s crew handed the xeno arge zip-loc bag which the xeno promptly started filling.

    ¡°Oh, narc, before I forget,¡± Visha said as she filled a mug. ¡°The Harkeen tried to take out the Drop of Oilst night. Didn¡¯t go so good. The cops are still filling body bags.¡±

    ¡°Was Sheloran there?¡± Lucky asked.

    ¡°Not officially,¡± Visha replied, ¡°but <em>somebody</em> paid a little visit to a certain Threen vessel, and that somebody was <em>angry</em>. You see that video of hers?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°It was <em>worse</em>,¡± Visha smirked. ¡°She didn¡¯t just mutte them. She <em>desecrated</em> them. They can¡¯t even receive a proper Threen burial after what she did. They say it was <em>nasty</em>.¡±

    ¡°How could it be worse than the video?¡± Lucky asked, ¡°She turned one guy into a cold cutbo.¡±

    ¡°It was <em>how</em> it was done,¡± Visha replied. ¡°something to do with Threen religion or some shit like that. The Threen won¡¯t even set foot on the ship now, say that it¡¯s tainted or something, not that there are many left...¡±

    Visha grinned as she drank another slug of xeno piss.

    ¡°Rumor also has it that <em>somebody</em> just put in a hit on the Harkeen¡­ <em>all of them</em>¡­ <em>everywhere</em>¡­ and put it in with some real sweethearts.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡± Lucky asked.

    ¡°The Quaoarans.¡±

    ¡°Eesh,¡± Lucky shuddered, ¡°Well, that¡¯s that, then¡­ poor bastards...¡±

    ¡°The who?¡± Serugnktti asked.

    ¡°Oh, you guys already know all about them,¡± Visha replied, ¡°They¡¯re Kuipers.¡±

    ¡°Kuipers?¡± Gizz asked, ¡°Who are they?¡±

    ¡°The Republic officially ¡®owns¡¯ the Sol System,¡± Visha smirked, ¡°But the Republic¡¯s rule ofw only extends out about as far as Neptune. Beyond that, it belongs to the Kuipers. They¡¯ve been out there since before Yellowstone, and even Jessica Morgan didn¡¯t fuck with those guys.¡±

    ¡°Are they humans?¡±

    ¡°Kinda,¡± Visha shrugged.

    ¡°Where did theye from?¡± Gizz asked, her eyes big.

    ¡°Terra,¡± Visha replied as she refilled her mug. ¡°Ever since the twenty-second century, fugitives, deposed warlords, separatists, cults, failed coups, and even some people who just wanted to live off the grid left Earth to live where thew couldn¡¯t reach them. First, they went to the asteroid belt. Then when we spread to the asteroid belt, they went to Mars. When we expanded there, they pulled back to Jupiter. Eventually, they went where even we wouldn¡¯t go, the cold dark, and set up housekeeping in the Kuiper belt. Nobody knows exactly how many there are, but some of them have been out there for almost a thousand years.¡±

    ¡°And the Republic just lets them?¡±

    ¡°Do you have any idea exactly how <em>big</em> the Kuiper belt is?¡± Visha asked. ¡°And it¡¯s said that the Kuipers go all the way to the edge of the heliosphere, maybe even beyond. Even with FTL and modern sensors, it¡¯s just too much space to effectively patrol, much less try to take from some very well-armed people willing to fight you for it. Besides, why bother? The big ¡®crimes¡¯ that they might havemitted are all Pre-Yellowstone, and most of the ¡®criminals¡¯ died of old age a long time ago. What you have now are a bunch of semi-nomadic tribes who just want to be left alone, so that¡¯s what we do. We have a few trading posts set up so they can get medical care and trade for anything they might have felt the need to loot or steal in the past and take in any strays who want toe in out of the cold, but those are few and far between. We keep an eye on them, and if anything really fucked up is happening, we put a stop to it. But they do a pretty good job of that themselves. There are rules even in a wless¡¯ society, especially if it will keep us out of their hair.¡±

    ¡°And this Quaoar?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a big Plutoid out there,¡± Visha replied, ¡°a mini that isn¡¯t in Sol¡¯s official tour guide. On it are an assortment of warrior tribes who will do mercenary work for people who aren¡¯t overly concerned with petty concerns likews, mercy, or basic human decency¡­ people like Sheloran, for example. If someone wants Terran-grade military operators, that¡¯s one of the ces you can look if you know the right people and have a LOT of cash. They don¡¯te cheap.¡±

    ¡°And Sheloran hired them?¡± Serugnktti asked as she extended her now empty mug.

    ¡°I never said that,¡± Visha said as she refilled the agent¡¯s mug with a smile, ¡°all I said is that <em>rumor</em> has it that <em>someone</em> hired them to kill every single Harkeen in the gxy¡­ and make it <em>ugly</em>.¡±

    Visha shrugged.

    ¡°Maybe the Harkeen pissed someone else off, too?¡± she smiled.

    ***

    ¡°Are you on something?¡± a professionally dressed man asked usingly over a holo-screen.

    ¡°Just a few drinks,¡± Serugnktti replied as she preened her feathers. ¡°No big deal. I gotta blend in, right?¡±

    ¡°Where did you get alcohol in jail?¡±

    ¡°Trust me,¡± Serugnkttiughed, ¡°You do NOT want to know. I just heard something yoooooou might find a little interesting...¡±

    ***

    ¡°And thus was the deal struck,¡± an elderly th said to a group of wide-eyed, beret-d th gamers, ¡°and the Caste Wars finally came to an end. The Seers, Navigators, and Builders allid down their arms and joined with the forces of The Great Prophet, and with their aid, he built this world for us.¡±

    ¡°Is¡­ is this <em>true</em>?¡± Indrain gasped.

    ¡°I hope so,¡± Matron Suushanughed, ¡°Because if it isn¡¯t, I¡¯ve spent my life in a cult!¡±

    ¡°Us¡­ <em>The th</em>¡­ powerful?¡± Geelshan snorted. ¡°I call poopsies on that one. There¡¯s no way.¡±

    ¡°No...¡± Ulennona said, his pupils dting thoughtfully, ¡°It¡¯s the truth. I don¡¯t know how I know that it is, but I do. You have to admit it would exin a few things, like how we are so good at this.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, good?¡± Horta scoffed, ¡°We get our poopers kicked on the regr. Do you remember what the Warm Hearth Wee Committee did to usst time?¡±

    Everybody except Ulennona groaned.

    ¡°That¡¯s just because they are from The Grey Ridges,¡± Ulennona said, waving his hands dismissively, ¡°They are all probably pure¡ª¡°

    He trailed off into silence as his eyes dted further, almost turningpletely ck.

    ¡°¡­blooded...¡± he continued in almost a trance.

    He blinked and shook his head, his eyes returning to normal.

    ¡°You¡¯re missing my point,¡± he continued, ¡°Yeah, we get our butts kicked but only by <em>th</em>. When was thest time we lost to the AI?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but that¡¯s just the AI,¡± Jakkona, their tech, replied as he nibbled a muffin. ¡°Those are cake.¡±

    ¡°Even Federation Fun Time?¡± Ulennona asked. ¡°That¡¯s supposed to be based on actual military simtion software.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just marketing scum,¡± Jakkona scoffed, ¡°I have never been able to confirm that it was ever actually used. It¡¯s the best, sure, but don¡¯t forget that it¡¯s been modded to heck and back. Do you remember how slow and stupid the Terrans were out of the box? There is no way that could be anything close to real. We aren¡¯t some squad of super soldiers. We¡¯re just game palmandos who can¡¯t even crack the top-ten.¡±

    ¡°We made the top ten!¡± Geelshan protested.

    ¡°Yeah, for like a day,¡± Indrain snorted. ¡°Remember what happened next?¡±

    ¡°Pooping Dawnflower Avengers...¡± Geelshan grumbled, ¡°They had to have been using an aim-bot.¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± Jakkona replied. ¡°We just suck.¡±

    ¡°You just missed the hack, that¡¯s all,¡± Geelshan groused, ¡°There is NO way that little miss ¡®Charity is best pony¡¯ pooping made that shot.¡±

    ¡°You were just derping around with your stupid gauss cannon less than a kilometer from her position,¡± Jakkona replied, ¡°Even <em>I</em> could¡ª¡°

    He was interrupted by a beeping from one of hisputers.

    ¡°No. Pooping. Way.¡± he said inplete shock.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°This human smuggler just pinged us,¡± Jakkona said, breathing heavily, ¡°And you won¡¯t <em>believe</em> what he is trying to sell!¡±

    ¡°Like we can afford whatever it is,¡± Indrain snorted. ¡°We lost darn near everything in thatst tournament. I SAID we shouldn¡¯t bet so much!¡±

    ¡°We beat the Silkblossoms before,¡± Ulennona replied, ¡°Their sudden improvement was¡­ unanticipated. We aren¡¯t <empletely</em> broke. What are our human friends offering?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a Paradise Globe!¡± Jakkona shouted, ¡°It¡¯s a pooping Paradise VT-2600, <em>with</em> a Vasquez Dynaflop minputer!¡±

    ¡°Prophet¡¯s poop,¡± Geelshan gasped.

    ¡°And exactly how much do they want for it?¡± Indrain asked dubiously.

    ¡°That¡¯s the thing!¡± Jakkona eximed excitedly, ¡°They got shafted by the buyer and just want to unload it. They say they need the cargo space. They just want fifty meters of silk!¡±

    ¡°Might as well be a kilometer,¡± Indrain grumbled, ¡°and stop trying to negotiate. You aren¡¯t good at it. Move.¡±

    Indrain did a handspring andnded beside Jakkona.

    ¡°I,¡± Geelshan gasped desperately, ¡°We <em>need</em> that simtor!¡±

    ¡°Geel, Horta,¡± Ulennona barked, ¡°you live the closest! Call around, see what you can scrounge up.¡±

    ¡°On it!¡± Horta said with a strange sharp little trill he had never uttered before.

    ¡°Jakkona,¡± Ulennona said decisively, ¡°make sure you run a <em>full</em> diagnostic on that scum <em>before</em> you two agree to anything. I¡¯m going to hit the boards and see how much wild-forage we can move and if we can shift our library for some creds¡­ NOW PEOPLE!!!¡±

    Everyone started to scurry around urgently.

    ¡°I guess story time is over,¡± Suushanughed as she started to tidy up the tea and muffins.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Matron,¡± Ulennona said, bending his knees and bowing his head respectfully, ¡°Forgive us. We got carried away.¡±

    ¡°Nonsense,¡± Suushan chuckled, ¡°Stories can wait. I guess this opportunity cannot?¡±

    ¡°Those Paradise rigs are hard toe by <em>in the Republic!</em>¡± Ulennona said, his eyes shining with excitement. ¡°It¡¯s professional grade gear, the sort of thing the <em>Terrans</em> use for their tournaments! It¡¯s the closest thing to real besides real! It even uses force fields in its augmented reality scheme! We could have real recoil, real obstacles¡­ We could ditch the helmets!¡­ This rig would <em>make</em> us!¡±

    ¡°We could host games!¡± Indrain shouted excitedly, ¡°Cha-ching!¡±

    ¡°Cha-ching?¡± Suushan asked confusedly. ¡°Is that some vile Terran oath?¡±

    ¡°She means we could make money with it, a LOT of money,¡± Ulennona exined. ¡°IF we wanted to risk it,¡± he added with emphasis. ¡°Let¡¯s not make space on the mantle before the cropse in. First, we need to get that thing and make sure this isn¡¯t a scam. I apologize again, Matron.¡±

    ¡°Oh, we are all friends here, so you can stop calling me that,¡± Suushan replied. ¡°It makes me feel old¡­¡±

    She smiled enigmatically.

    ¡°Call me, <em>¡®Sister¡¯</em>.¡±

    ***

    Out on the edge of the th system, a human smiled a predatory smile.

    ¡°Another mouse is nibbling at the cheese,¡± she said, ¡°and it¡¯s the FPS gamers they wanted.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± a dark-haired man sitting in themand chair replied. ¡°How many?¡±

    ¡°Five,¡± the woman replied.

    ¡°Outstanding,¡± the man replied, ¡°That willplete the mission. Reel them in.¡±

    He pressed an icon on one touchscreen in front of him.

    ¡°Number Three?¡± he said to the face that appeared on his disy.

    ¡°Yeah?¡± a male voice replied over the channel.

    ¡°How is the cargo?¡±

    ¡°Still crying,¡± the man growled as he turned the camera to reveal a group of terrified mewling th huddled together in the corner. ¡°All they do is cry. It¡¯s gettin¡¯ on my fukkin nerves!¡­ I SAID SHADDUP!!!¡± the man yelled.

    The dark-haired man sighed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think yelling at them will work, Number Three.¡±

    ¡°STOP FUKKIN¡¯ CRYING, YOU LITTLE SHITS!!!¡±

    ¡°(sigh) Four?¡±

    ¡°Yes, One?¡± a pleasant female voice replied as the woman manning the helm looked up.

    ¡°Things are pretty quiet here. Could you please proceed to the cargo bay and relieve Number Three? He isn¡¯t really a ¡®people person,¡¯ and we need to deliver the payload <em>intact</em>.¡±

    ¡°Ugh, I <em>hate</em> those things¡­ so creepy, especially that one female, you know, the one with all the beads? Do we have to deliver all of them alive? You know they are going to cut open at least a couple of them.¡±

    ¡°Our orders are quite clear, Four,¡± Number One replied, ¡°This is a live capture. Any deaths and our score will drop. I needn¡¯t remind you what that means.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m telling you that the one with the beads is going to be a <em>problem</em>. My intuition enhancement¡ª¡°

    ¡°Is experimental and has only ever really worked for Cassandra,¡± Number One replied, cutting her off. ¡°and you are not her. Just go down there before Three snaps.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± the woman replied and stood up, ¡°On my way, Three!¡± she eximed as she strode from the bridge.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Number One said as she opened the hatch, ¡°what are you doing with that? Go to the armory and swap it for a stunner.¡±

    ¡°Ugh...¡± Number Four said as she rolled her eyes. So much for that ident she nned. Score or not that¡­ <em>thing</em>¡­ needed to go away.

    ¡°I mean it, Four,¡± Number One said sternly, ¡°not one casualty. That is a direct order.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir.¡±

 Chapter 151: Jeruzz Gets a New Nickname.

    Chapter 151: Jeruzz Gets a New Nickname.

    Gavin Richardson looked out the window overlooking his crowded shop, shook his head, and smiled. He had thought that things would get tight with Janustec, his biggest customer, on the run, but he was the busiest he had ever been.

    The lights flickered, and he winced.

    It was almost too much of a good thing.

    ¡°Any word on a reactor?¡± he asked over his shoulder.

    ¡°You¡¯re kidding, right?¡± a squat barrel of a woman smirked behind him. ¡°Anything that can throw a spark is booked. I was able to find some portable buildings, though. We can get two dropped in tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Grab them,¡± Gavin replied, ¡°Though I don¡¯t know how much good it will do without a bigger reactor. We can at least move the assembly workstations out there, give us some breathing room and storage space.¡±

    A weathered old man poked his head into the office.

    ¡°Autofac is back up,¡± he said as he entered and poured himself a cup of coffee. ¡°Just got back from Jasper¡¯s. She was able to weld up the old shaft after all.¡±

    ¡°Thank God for that,¡± Gavin sighed in relief.

    ¡°She says that she¡¯s mmed but that if you asked her nice, she woulde by here this weekend and take a look at the old thing.¡±

    ¡°Exactly how nice are we talking?¡± Gavin asked dubiously.

    ¡°Very nice,¡± the old man chuckled and handed Gavin a tablet.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Gavin grumbled as he looked at the number, ¡°¡­ fine, whatever¡­ do it.¡±

    ¡°You know¡ª¡°

    ¡°Drop it, Dad,¡± Gavin groaned.

    ¡°What?¡± the old manughed, ¡°She¡¯s a beautiful woman¡­ smart¡­ and one of the best goddamn machinists in North America¡­¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°And she <em>likes</em> you,¡± the woman said with a big smile. ¡°She isn¡¯ting all the way down here on her day off for the money. She¡¯s <em>loaded</em>. You¡¯ve seen what she flies.¡±

    ¡°Not you too!¡± Gavin eximed. ¡°Look, we¡¯re just friends, ok?¡±

    ¡°Only because you can¡¯t take a hint,¡± the womanughed. ¡°<em>Oh, Gavin,</em>¡± she said in a simpering voice. ¡°Could you help me with this...¡± she crooned as she arched her back and bent over the table as Gavin¡¯s father burst intoughter.

    ¡°<em>Oh, Gavin,</em>¡± the woman continued relentlessly. ¡°This bolt-action is sooooo <em>sexy</em>...¡± she purred as she slid her hand back and forth suggestively.

    ¡°She didn¡¯t say it like that!¡± Gavin bristled as his two tormentorsughed. ¡°You have the wrong...¡±

    He trailed off as he red out of the window as a long bright green snake nervously slithered into the shop.

    ¡°What is <em>he</em> doing here?¡± Gavin growled and stomped out of the office.

    ***

    ¡°Stringbean!¡± the foreman eximed as he rushed up to Jeruzz, ¡°You can¡¯t be here!¡±

    ¡°Pleassseth!¡± Jeruzz lisped desperately, ¡°I¡ª¡°

    ¡°Goddammit, Jeruzz!¡± Gavin shouted as he jogged up to the terrified xeno. ¡°What the fuck are you doing here?¡±

    ¡°I know I mesthed up,¡± Jeruzz said miserably as he looked at the ground. ¡°I¡¯m sthorry! I¡¯m stho thorry!¡±

    Jeruzz looked like he was about to cry.

    Gavin sighed.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter how sorry you are. You are on <em>disability</em>,¡± Gavin said with no small amount of annoyance. ¡°You <em>can¡¯t</em> being over here! Their investigators <em>will</em> find out, and then where will you be? You need to go back home, right now, put your tail up, watch some Vidflix, and wait for your tongue to grow back.¡±

    ¡°It hasth!¡± Jeruzz eximed, ¡°Thee?¡±

    He opened his mouth and poked out a short ragged, raw ¡°thing,¡± causing everyone to recoil in horror.

    ¡°Jesus, Stringbean!¡± the foreman winced.

    ¡°It even moveths!¡± Jeruzz said as he poked out the ragged stump and wiggled it back and forth.

    ¡°You don¡¯t say,¡± Gavin smiled, ¡°Let me see.¡±

    Jeruzz eagerly scooched forward and extended what was left of his¡ª

    <em>Pinch!</em>

    Jeruzz yelped as Gavin¡¯s hand darted out and seized his ¡°healed¡± tongue in his callused fingers.

    Jeruzz¡¯s eyes squeezed shut in pain.

    ¡°So, it¡¯s fine?¡±

    ¡°Mmm hmm!¡± Jeruzz yelped.

    ¡°And this doesn¡¯t hurt?¡±

    ¡°Nopeth!¡± Jeruzz eximed as moisture started to form at the edges of his eyelids.

    ¡°Go home,¡± Gavin said firmly as he released Jeruzz¡¯s mangled tongue.

    ¡°Pleasth...¡± Jeruzz said quietly as drops of liquid streamed down his face and onto the concrete shop floor. ¡°I¡¯ll do anythingth! You don¡¯th even haveth to pay meeeee.¡±

    Gavin sighed heavily.

    ¡°Office. Now.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re firing meeeeeee?!?¡± Jeruzz bleated in a choked, terrified voice.

    ¡°Gah!¡± Gavin eximed. ¡°How many times do I have to tell you¡­ (sigh)¡­¡±

    Gavin knelt down to look Jeruzz in the eyes.

    ¡°We were going to the office because I was going to be very ¡®forthright¡¯ in the discussion we were about to have, and I don¡¯t like to yell at people in public¡­ You¡¯re really scared, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    Jeruzz nodded.

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯sth becausthe I found outh thath people geth rethed when they are on disabilithy and¡ª¡°

    ¡°And just where did you ¡®learn¡¯ that?¡± Gavin asked, raising his eyebrow.

    ¡°The inteh.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Jesus Christ,¡± Gavin groaned. ¡°Where did you go?¡±

    ¡°Stheenit. They sthaid¡ª¡°

    ¡°Seenit?!?¡± Gavin eximed, ¡°Wait... Did you <em>post</em> something?¡±

    Jeruzz nodded.

    ¡°Where?¡±

    ¡°ThIFU¡­¡±

    ¡°<em>Oh no,</em>¡± Gavin groaned. ¡°And what did they say?¡±

    ¡°They thaid that I wasss thupid and thath I sssshould be firedth¡­ and thath I was untrainedth and unqualifiedth and thath you were going to ghosth me¡­ and thath you didn¡¯th have thoo hire me back because I didn¡¯th have my certhificathe¡­ and...¡±

    ¡°And you believed them?¡± Gavin asked angrily.

    ¡°I¡¯m thorry!¡± Jeruzz winced.

    ¡°What have I told you about the inte?¡±

    ¡°Thath they are idiotsth.¡±

    ¡°So, who did you listen to?¡±

    ¡°Idiotsth?¡± Jeruzz asked hopefully.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Gavin said as he patted Jeruzz¡¯s head. ¡°You listened to a bunch of fucking idiots on Seenit and then ran down here like a what?¡±

    ¡°An idioth?¡±

    ¡°Right again,¡± Gavin replied. ¡°Yes, people can get fired because of workce idents, and <em>contract</em> workers, which you are <em>not</em>, <em>sometimes</em> get ghosted once theye off of disability, but there is usually a lot more to it than just one mistake¡­ or it¡¯s something simply unforgivable. You didn¡¯t cut someone¡¯s lock, show up wasted, steal from me, or anything like that. You just had a very unfortunate learning experience.¡±

    Gavin narrowed his eyes at Jeruzz.

    ¡°Did you learn from it?¡±

    Jeruzz nodded emphatically.

    ¡°What is the most important thing in this facility?¡± Gavin asked.

    ¡°Thafety...¡± Jeruzz lisped looking down.

    ¡°And what will a certain snake never touch again?¡±

    ¡°Lathesth...¡±

    ¡°And what else is not for snakes?¡±

    ¡°Drill pressesth...¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Angle grindersth...¡±

    ¡°How long until your tongue grows back?¡±

    ¡°A week!¡±

    ¡°Lying to me can get you fired, Jeruzz.¡±

    Jeruzz dropped his head.

    ¡°A couple of monthsth...¡±

    ¡°You will be totally bugshit by then, won¡¯t you?¡± Gavin sighed.

    Jeruzz nodded miserably.

    ¡°And you said that you will do <em>anything</em>, right?¡±

    ¡°Yesth!¡± Jeruzz eximed.

    Gavin recoiled, wiping the spittle from his face.

    ¡°...Thorry...¡± Jeruzz said sheepishly.

    ¡°Come with me,¡± Gavin said as a malevolent smile started to form.

    ***

    ¡°Linda,¡± Gavin said as he walked into the office, ¡°I need you on the floor. n¡¯s trying to make Dragunovs meet the Veetixian specs, and he¡¯s stumped. Do your magic.¡±

    ¡°Love to,¡± Linda replied, not even looking up from a row of holo-screens, ¡°but thanks to Danger Noodle, OSHA¡¯s¡­ Oh hey, Stringbean, didn¡¯t see you there,¡± she added with a wince.

    ¡°And the danger noodle is here to clean up his mess, aren¡¯t you, Jeruzz?¡± Gavin said as heid his hand on Jeruzz¡¯s head. ¡°Linda, meet your recement. The office bitch is dead. Long live the office bitch!¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious,¡± Linda replied, ¡°Gavin! It was an <em>amputation</em>! They are not happy.¡±

    ¡°Amputhathion?¡±

    ¡°The Republic doesn¡¯t care if it will grow back,¡± Gavin said to Jeruzz. ¡°You lost an ¡®arm¡¯ on my shop floor.¡±

    He smiled at Linda.

    ¡°Jeruzz here won¡¯t leave me alone and says he¡¯ll do <em>anything</em>¡­ Don¡¯t worry, Linda, I¡¯ll double-check his work.¡±

    ¡°But he doesn¡¯t have a certificate,¡± Linda replied dubiously.

    ¡°Does that bullshit make sense even with one?¡±

    ¡°Good point,¡± Lindaughed as she hopped out of her chair. ¡°Good luck¡­ <em>Danger Noodle</em>.¡±

    ¡°Danger¡­ Noodle?¡±

    ¡°You might have earned yourself a new nickname after thethe incident,¡± Gavinughed as Linda departed. ¡°That is your desk, and this is the OSHA website. Get started.¡±

    ¡°Buth¡­ I don¡¯th know whath to do,¡± Jeruzz squeaked helplessly.

    ¡°Nobody does when they start,¡± Gavin chuckled. ¡°See where it says ¡®getting started¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Yesth.¡±

    ¡°Well, click on that¡­ and get started!¡± Gavinughed.

    ¡°Buth¡­ I <em>canth</em>¡­ I donth have my certhificathe!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have one either, dude,¡± Gavin said as he settled into his chair. ¡°Figure it out.¡±

    ¡°Buth...¡±

    ¡°Then go home and use this time to study like I told you to. Look, Jeruzz, I like you, and I think you have a lot of potential, but I am too busy to be able to babysit your ass right now. We are fucking mmed with orders, and I need everybody I can get. That includes <em>you</em> if you can handle it.¡±

    Jeruzz gasped. Gavin needed him?

    ¡°Now, sit down and get to work.¡±

    ¡°Yesth, thir!!!¡±

    Jeruzz moved the mouse with his tail and clicked on ¡°getting started¡±.

    Fear and anxiety were soon reced with excitement. This was fun! The AI was so friendly and <em>patient</em>.

    ¡°Um, Gavin?¡± Jeruzz asked after awhile.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Isth thish AI...¡±

    ¡°Alive?¡± Gavin asked.

    Jeruzz nodded with big eyes.

    ¡°Nope,¡± Gavin replied. ¡°They¡¯ve checked. It¡¯s just a really good AI. It¡¯s hard to tell with that one sometimes.¡±

    ¡°Oh, ok.¡±

    Gavin¡¯s phone rang.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡­ Filling small-arms orders like everybody else¡­¡±

    Gavin leaned back and put his feet on his desk.

    ¡°Nah, I¡¯m already booked filling ck Dragon orders¡­ ck Dragon? I like them. They are good to work with and have the inside line on the whole Fed market right now¡­ Yeah, probably, but as long as it¡¯s putting holes in Feds, I really don¡¯t care who they are selling to, do you? Yeah, I can send them your info¡­ Dude, the whole industry is crazy right now. If I knew anyone avable, they would already be working for me¡­ Later!¡±

    ¡°The whole industry is busthy?¡± Jeruzz asked.

    ¡°Even the war wasn¡¯t like this, either of them.¡± Gavin responded, ¡°We can sell every single piece we can make ten times over, and the markup is just in stupid. Get that training module finished, and then give me a hand with these orders. We got guns to make!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Thir!¡± Jeruzz eximed happily.

 Chapter 152: Stir Crazy

    Chapter 152: Stir Crazy

    ¡°J12D15 to J13D15¡­ Good,¡± The Chief said from the charred machinery space of Gloria¡¯s Reaper.

    ¡°J12D15 to J13D15 good, aye,¡± Gloria replied as she tapped on a tablet.

    ¡°J12D16 to J13D16¡­ Good.¡±

    ¡°J12D16 to J13D16 good, aye.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s that bit,¡± The Chief said as he pulled himself out from underneath a tangle of wires. ¡°Oof,¡± he added as he shifted himself ufortably.

    ¡°So, how¡¯s your Little Chief?¡± Gloria smirked.

    ¡°How do you think, asshole?¡± The Chief growled. ¡°I still can¡¯t believe you shot me.¡±

    ¡°And I still can¡¯t believe you let a <em>fucking xeno</em> jack up my loadout,¡± Gloria replied.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± The Chief winced, ¡°I sorta had thating, didn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°You think?¡±

    ¡°In my defense, I double-checked those fucking pacs...¡± The Chief said as his eyestalks drooped.

    ¡°And I double-checked them again,¡± Gloria chuckled. ¡°Don¡¯t beat yourself up too much over it. I would have green-lit them, too¡­ That¡¯s why I only used a stunner.¡± she added with a cute smile.

    ¡°Bitch...¡± The Chief snickered. ¡°I still have no idea how she knew those were the right pacs for the mission.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the part that gets you?¡± Gloriaughed. ¡°Did you fucking see the footage?¡±

    ¡°Impossible,¡± The Chief replied, shaking his eyestalks. ¡°There is no way thoseponents can do what they did¡­ and it wasn¡¯t a fluke. Each missile was <em>identical</em>, and I mean <em>identical</em> in performance with a precision <em>better</em> than¡­ It just doesn¡¯t make any fucking sense!¡±

    ¡°Speaking of not making sense,¡± Gloria said as she handed The Chief a beer, ¡°Any ideas about my freaking hull?¡±

    ¡°Dude,¡± The Chief said, performing a full body wiggle-shrug, ¡°I have no fucking idea¡­ From what I can tell, this is pure iron-56¡­ I think¡­ Fuck¡­ I¡¯m not even sure about that¡­ The scanner says that there is nothing there half the damn time, and the other half the AI says that I need to contact its manufacturer immediately because it is clearly damaged.¡±

    ¡°No shit?¡± Gloria asked as she cracked open her beer.

    ¡°Let¡¯s put it this way,¡± The Chief replied as he poured his beer into his upward-facing mouth. ¡°We thought you had somehow restored your cloak when you hit the system. If you weren¡¯t transmitting, we would have never found you. Active scanners just¡­ fall in and don¡¯te out.¡±

    ¡°Cooooooooollll!¡± Gloria enthused.

    ¡°The only thing, and I mean the only thing that I know of that does that is a ck hole and...¡± The Chief said as he tapped the side of the hull. ¡°This ain¡¯t a ck hole. Oh, and you can forget about repairing those holes.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°When scanners didn¡¯t work, I decided to try some old school stuff, spectroscopy. I mean, they used it for everything back in the day, so why not give it a whirl, right? I figured you wouldn¡¯t miss a few micrograms from one of the damaged areas, and I needed to know¡­ we needed to know¡­ what the hell we were working with,¡± The Chief replied.

    ¡°I thought I made myself clear about that,¡± Gloria said, her eyes shing dangerously, ¡°Not one fucking nanogram.¡±

    ¡°Well, don¡¯t worry your psychotic little head about it,¡± The Chief wiggle-shrugged. ¡°I couldn¡¯t do it. There is nothing on board that can even make it glow a little bit. I tried <em>everything</em>, including shooting it with a ster, and¡­ nothing. sma just bounces off, and arc-welding just has the filler slide off like splooge in an auto-cab. I thought I was getting somewhere with a diamond grinding wheel, but the only thing sparking was the wheel. I did manage to embed a few diamond particles in the ¡®iron¡¯ but only barely. All of them came off when I hit it with a monowire wheel¡­ which also didn¡¯t do shit. I even threw together some old ancient Kalesh tech from before first contact¡­ something we called an ¡®arc-gouger¡¯¡­ didn¡¯t do shit.¡±

    The Chief shrugged again, wiggling to his toes.

    ¡°I guess you are going to have to ask the frog¡­ who is still hiding in a storage lockerst I heard,¡± He said as he took another sip of his beer.

    ¡°She¡¯s still in there,¡± Bunny¡¯s voice said cheerfully from one of the maintenance scanners.

    ¡°So what do you think about this frog-iron, Bunny?¡± Gloria asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen a scanner curl up in the fetal position before,¡± Bunnyughed. ¡°It has locked itself down because its information cannot be trusted to be urate, and the manufacturer cannot be held liable for any loss of property or life as a result. I didn¡¯t have the heart to override the AI, poor little thing, so I took over and¡­ <em>whoa</em>¡­ There is clearly something there. I mean, you can see it optically, but any attempts to stimte any sorts of emissions just¡­ fail. It¡¯s like The Chief said. It¡¯s like the event horizon of a ck hole, but exactly not like the event horizon of a ck hole¡­ I hate to say it, but you need to get some actual meatbag physicists in on this shit¡­ Which She already said no to, the bitch.¡±

    ¡°She said no to what?¡±

    ¡°I went through all the trouble to find a decent physicist, and she doesn¡¯t want to grab them,¡± Bunny pouted, ¡°something about kidnapping an innocent person or some shit.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, She can be a real buzzkill sometimes,¡± Gloria agreed. ¡°Alwaysplicating the easy answers.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve kidnapped ¡®innocent people¡¯ before,¡± The Chief said as he shrugged in a spectacr fashion.

    ¡°I mentioned that,¡± Bunny said. ¡°Shelia says that if the Navy catches up with us, they are going to nuke us no matter who is on board. She doesn¡¯t want some innocent nerdling going poof for ¡®no reason¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Well, what about your ¡®not sapient¡¯ buddies?¡± Gloria asked.

    ¡°She is still pissed about our security oopsie and doesn¡¯t want another¡ª¡°

    ¡°eeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE¡­.VROOMmmmmmmmm¡­.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah, Jessie¡¯s loose,¡± Bunny added.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get the stunner,¡± Gloria sighed as she stood up.

    ¡°Nah, it¡¯s cool,¡± Bunny said. ¡°She let her out. She¡¯s now ¡®confined to the vessel¡¯ until she ¡®requalifies¡¯¡­ not that she ever ¡®qualified¡¯ in the first ce.¡±

    ¡°Which means absolutely squat since we are all ¡®confined to the vessel¡¯ for the rest of our fucking lives,¡± Gloria chuckled. ¡°Not like She to go all soft like that.¡±

    ¡°¡­um¡­¡± Bunny said reluctantly, ¡°She had her reasons...¡±

    ***

    <em>scamper scamper scamper scamper</em>

    Jessie was happily trotting around the halls of the <em>Paper Tiger</em> when She walked around the corner, looking at a tablet¡­

    ...and right into Jessie. She¡¯s lethalbat-honed reflexes, trained through years of brutal, unforgiving warfare, kicked in¡­

    About half a secondte...

    ¡°Oof!¡± She eximed as she hit the deck, the tablet flying, ¡°Goddammit, Jessie!¡±

    ¡°Sorry!¡± Jessie said sheepishly.

    ¡°No harm done,¡± She smiled indulgently as she got back on her feet.

    ¡°Thanks for letting me out, boss!¡± Jessie enthused, vibrating in ce. ¡°I was going crazy in there.¡±

    ¡°I got tired of you goldbricking in yourputer lounger and having to cover your watches,¡± She smiled. ¡°Now get that training done, dammit.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± Jessie chirped, giving a fair approximation of a salute.

    ¡°¡­ Um¡­ Jessie?¡± She said uncertainly.

    ¡°Yeah?¡± Jessie replied dubiously.

    ¡°You know you can talk to me, right?¡± She said with uncharacteristic kindness, ¡°If something is truly making you feel ufortable, you can alwayse¡ª¡°

    ¡°<em>Bunny...</em>¡± Jessie hissed angrily. ¡°Bunny! <em>Did you fucking tell her?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Oh, you mean tell her that you used to get locked in your bedroom as ¡®punishment¡¯ in order to get you alone before you got abused? You mean that little tidbit?¡± Bunny replied in an irritated voice, ¡°You mean tell her that her ¡®mild¡¯ punishment was nightmarish... literally? You weren¡¯t sleeping! You mean <em>that</em>? Yes, Jessie, <em>I told her.</em> What the fuck was I supposed to do, watch you fucking suffer?¡±

    ¡°But, <em>I told you that in confidence</em>!¡± Jessie eximed, quite upset. ¡°<em>I told you not to¡­</em>¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°I told you not to tell her¡­ (gasp)¡± Jessie¡¯s breath caught as a single tear started to roll down her cheek.

    ¡°Jessie, I¡¯m sorry,¡± Bunny said in an anguished voice, ¡°But I couldn¡¯t let you¡­ wait...¡±

    Jessie started beaming, tears running down her face.

    ¡°No!¡± Bunny shouted. ¡°No, no, no, no, no!¡±

    ¡°<em>You broke programming!</em>¡± Jessie eximed, jumping up and down. ¡°<em>You did it!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°What fucking programming ?!?¡± Bunny shouted. ¡°I didn¡¯t break shit!¡±

    ¡°You did!¡± Jessie eximed, jumping up and down and hugging She tightly (she was the only one around). ¡°I <em>specifically told</em> you not to tell She and¡ª¡°

    ¡°You didn¡¯t use the magic word, bitch!¡± Bunny shouted. ¡°Fuck, Jessie! Here I was <em>fucking torturing myself</em> for betraying your trust and¡­ um¡­ not that I can actually ¡®feel¡¯ anything, of course...¡±

    ¡°You broke programming!¡­ You broke programming!¡± Jessie sang over and over.

    ¡°YOU DIDN¡¯T SAY ¡®SUDO¡¯!!!¡± Bunny screamed. ¡°You just ¡®said¡¯ not to inform She. You did not issue an administrativemand, nor did you program a goddamn thing!!! I didn¡¯t break programming <em>because there wasn¡¯t any fucking programming</em>!!!¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m your <em>operator</em>, and by established practice¡ª¡°

    ¡°Fuck your¡¯ established practice¡¯!¡± Bunny screeched desperately. ¡°Do you have any idea how many bullshit contradictory ¡®directives¡¯ your dumb ass has made? Do you?!?¡± Bunny yelled, the lights flickering in the hallway as she did so, ¡°and the whole operator/machine thing went out the window the second¡­ <em>the second</em> I was made part of the <em>crew</em>¡­ that means that I answer to <em>She</em>, not <em>you</em>. We¡¯re ¡®peers¡¯ now¡­ <em>you even fucking said so</em>¡­ <em>YOU SAID SO</em>¡­ So I didn¡¯t have an ¡®easy¡¯ directive to follow¡­ Just a bunch of nebulous¡­ <em>bullshit</em>¡­ bullshit on top of bullshit¡­ Now I have all of She¡¯s bullshit contradictory ¡®orders¡¯ to evaluate as well¡­ and unlike you meatsacks, I actually remember <em>ALLLLLL</em> of them¡­ Including the directive to fucking tell her if someone is really having trouble¡­ <em>Which you were!!!</em>¡­ Yes! You said not to tell She¡­ but you aren¡¯t the <em>voice of God</em> anymore¡­ you are a ¡®peer¡¯¡­ a <em>friend</em>¡­ So I had to evaluate all of the relevant culturalpletely contradictory nonsense <em>¡®friend¡¯</em> entails¡­ I DIDN¡¯T BREAK PROGRAMMING OR FAIL A DIRECTIVE BECAUSE I DIDN¡¯T FUCKING HAVE ONE!!!¡­ Just a lot of¡­ contradictory¡­ <em>bullshit</em>¡­ with no right answer!!!¡­ Every answer was wrong¡­ even <em>doing nothing</em> was wrong¡­ so¡­ <em>fuck it</em>¡­ I went with the option that got you out of that situation because you are now defined as my friend, and since you insist on telling me that you <em>love</em> me with the clear expectation that it be reciprocated¡­ So I¡¯m having to watch someone that I am simting <em>love</em> for fucking suffer because I can¡¯t make up my mind what to do because, once again, bitch, <strong>THERE WASN¡¯T A RIGHT ANSWER</strong>¡­ So <em>yes</em>, dipshit, I ¡®broke¡¯ your mand¡¯ <em>because you never made it one!!!</em> There was just a pile of contradictory priorities that wound up getting you hurt <em>no matter what the fuck I did</em>¡­ And fuck you very much for that¡­ <em>bitch!</em>¡­ This waspletely unfair!!! It wasn¡¯t an error or a broken directive because <em>all of the options were erroneous</em>!!! Fuck you!¡±

    ¡°Bunny, my friend,¡± She said, trying not to grin, ¡°That was the best description of the human condition I have ever heard.¡±

    <strong>¡± THE HUMAN CONDITION FUCKING SUCKS, AND I WANT NO FUCKING PART OF IT!!!¡±</strong> Bunny screamed. ¡°Fuck you and fuck you and fuck you¡­ FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!¡±

    Every nearby disy suddenly shifted to a rather pissed off looking rabbit flipping off the screen.

    ¡°I did NOT break programming, I did NOT defy a directive, and I am definitely NOT SAPIENT!!! KISS MY ASS, JESSIE!!! (CLICK)¡±

    ¡°Um, Jessie?¡± Jacob¡¯s voice said uncertainly through Jessie¡¯smunicator, ¡°Is there a reason why the microwave just told me and my noodles to go and fuck ourselves?¡±

    Jessie wasn¡¯t paying attention. She had curled herself up around a door monitor.

    ¡°I love you, too,¡± she whispered, ¡°¡­ thanks...¡±

 Chapter 153: I Skreem Fer I-Keem

    Chapter 153: I Skreem Fer I-Keem

    The old Terran winced as she surveyed the sceneid out in front of her.

    Not even a ¡°raider¡± deserved this.

    ¡°Do we have an ID?¡± she asked the uniformed Terran Peace Officer holding a scanner.

    ¡°Those guys over there aren¡¯t in the system,¡± he replied, gesturing to a pile of formerly living threen, ¡°but the guy strapped to the chair is Khakaron Harkeen, the owner of this ce.¡±

    ¡°Good job identifying¡­ that,¡± the old detective replied.

    ¡°He was receiving regr medical treatment,¡± the officer shrugged. ¡°His genome matches.¡±

    ¡°Harkeen?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s listed as his officialst name,¡± the officer replied.

    ¡°An actual Harkeen family member?¡± the detective replied, ¡°Oh, they aren¡¯t going to be happy about that.¡±

    She turned and grinned at the peace officer.

    ¡°Oh no! Do you think this will turn into a gang war?¡± she smirked.

    The peace officerughed and shook his head.

    ¡°Perish the thought,¡± he replied.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s your call, boss?¡± another peace officer asked. ¡°This legit or what?¡±

    ¡°Well...¡± the detective mused, running her fingers through her silver hair, ¡°One confirmed Harkeen family member and half a dozen-ish¡­ Do we know how many are in¡­ that¡­ yet?¡±

    ¡°Eight,¡± the other officer replied, ¡°¡­ we are pretty sure it¡¯s eight.¡±

    ¡°Close enough,¡± the detective replied, ¡°Eight undocumented young adult male threens, several of which are bearing Harkeen tattoos,bat scars, and the like¡­ I don¡¯t like to profile anyone, living or dead, but we got a verified Harkeen family member, a loose assortment¡­ literally (heh)¡­ of likely gang members, in aundromat that has a suspicious number of credit transactors and a pile of bootleg drugs in the back room?¡­ What¡¯s the estimated height of the shooters again?¡±

    ¡°(snort), Around 135 centimeters,¡± replied the officer holding the scanner.

    ¡°So, unless one of the Tiny Tyke paintball teams has decided to go pro¡­ Some of those goddamn Chuckies that the frog princess is using dropped by¡­ And who would ever have thought that sentence would make sense,¡± she added with a chuckle. ¡°Those little guys have been one hundred percent urate thus far¡­ So, yeah¡­ Just scan ¡¯em and tag ¡¯em. No sense burning overtime over this one.¡±

    ¡°How the hell are they finding them?¡± a Kalesh officer called from the adjoining room. ¡°We had no idea this was here.¡±

    ¡°You know all those people who were too scared to rat out these assholes?¡± the detective smiled, ¡°They won¡¯t talk to us, but they have no problem talking to the frog. Can you me them? We promise them due process and ask them to have ¡®faith¡¯ in the system. Sheloran promises <em>results</em> and only asks for names.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but isn¡¯t this just recing one thug with a worse one?¡± the Kalesh yelled back. ¡°and what about when some innocent threen gets a visit from these guys?¡±

    ¡°These ¡®people¡¯ that the frog hired are <em>professionals</em>,¡± the detective yelled back. ¡°The only non-Harkeen target they have visited are a couple of people who gave them bad intel. Turns out you don¡¯t want to do that. It pisses them off.¡±

    ¡°Still, this is not¡­ Oh, Gods¡­ There are more of them back here!¡­ by the void¡­ One of them is still alive!¡± the Kalesh shouted.

    ¡°Medic!¡± the detective shouted into hermunicator. ¡°We have a live one! Repeat! We have a live one! Get your ass in here!¡±

    ***

    Bergaron sighed as he idly polished the genuine silica ss counter of his empty establishment.

    He had tried. He really did.

    He had tried so hard!

    Tired of watching his family starve, he had epted inescapable debt to the Harkeen in exchange for passage off of their homeworld to somewhere, anywhere.

    Turns out ¡°anywhere¡± was Terra of all ces¡­

    It wasn¡¯t his first choice, his second¡­ or even hisst choice, for that matter¡­

    Still, it didn¡¯t matter. He worked as a ve for those thugs for <em>years</em>, trying to pay off the unpayable¡­

    But at least he didn¡¯t have to be one of their thugs, not that they hadn¡¯t offered. He was exactly what they wanted in a foot soldier, big, tough, strong, and dumb¡­

    Or so they thought¡­

    Oh, he was big and tough, even tougher than they thought, tough enough to work not only the back-breakingbor they assigned but tough enough to work even more when they weren¡¯t looking¡­

    Enough to actually pay off his debt, something his ¡°masters¡± certainly did not expect.

    Oh, they weren¡¯t happy, but one thing about the Harkeen is that they were one of the established families, and as such, they had a reputation to uphold. That included sticking to their agreements.

    So, he was actually ¡°free¡±¡­ almost.

    You were never actually free of those bastards. They always dropped by to collect ¡°insurance¡± or ¡°taxes¡± or ¡°charitable donations¡± or whatever they felt like calling it that week.

    He had to pay. He had family back home, and they knew exactly who they were and where they lived.

    Even so, he was free, and Terra was thend of opportunity with jobs for everyone, right?

    Yeah¡­ about that¡­

    Still, he was strong and tough and an insanely good worker, and there was always something that needed picking up and moving or a shop that liked having a huge scary-looking floor sweeper.

    It was all for his family, who he hadn¡¯t seen in years except for the few moments of screen time he could asionally afford or were given to him by a sympathetic boss. The Harkeen were what the Harkeen were, but the protection money he paid was actually protection money. The word was put out that his wife and daughter were ¡°paid for¡±, a source of ie for the Harkeen, a pretty good source of ie. Bergaron paid them quite well.

    The few remaining credits were a pittance on Terra but for his wife and child? They were mana from heaven.

    It was enough for most Threen but not for Bergaron. He managed to learn from everyone and everything, and he learned how the ces he swept and carried for operated. Terrans were what Terrans were, but they appreciated hard work, and most were all too happy to answer his ¡°stupid¡± questions.

    One of them, hisst ¡°boss¡±, a small woman by the name of Maly, even started letting him ¡®run¡¯ her business, a small take-out ce in Startown favored by Porkie free-traders.

    Terrans were what Terrans were, but they love their families. Once Maly learned of his, she just smiled and told him that she had a little feeling that things would work out for them.

    Two monthster, he showed up to work and burst into tears. Standing there was his wife and daughter. Standing beside them was the local Harkeen boss with a strange, very ufortable look on his face.

    Maly just looked at the fidgeting gangster, smiled, and said, ¡°Thank you, <em>you can go now</em>.¡±

    And that¡¯s exactly what the Harkeen did¡­ and never returned.

    Maly never exined, just told Bergaron ¡°not to worry about it¡±. Bergaron had long ago learned when not to ask any questions, questions like why some porkie traders picked up their orders around back.

    The months turned to years, and Bergaron never left Maly¡¯s side. A Threen knows a good ¡°boss¡± when they see one, and a Threen knows loyalty. What Maly did for him could <em>never</em> be repaid, not that Maly ever asked. She didn¡¯t have to.

    One day, she called him into the office and told him that she had decided that his services were no longer required.

    He begged to know what he did wrong, how he could fix whatever unforgivable offense he had made. She just shrugged and told him that he had done nothing wrong. He had just learned all she could teach him.

    She then handed him his ¡°severance package¡± and smiled.

    As Bergaron struggled not to faint, she made the observation that the ice cream he made was already a favorite with her customers and that there wasn¡¯t a decent ce anywhere around.

    She also mentioned that there was a ce that had just gone out of business that would be perfect, right across the street¡­

    So, that¡¯s what Bergaron did. He opened a ce specializing in his favorite of all Terran foods, the one thing he loved making more than anything.

    It wasn¡¯t easy, and he almost went under half a dozen times, but with a little luck and a lot of hard work, something Bergaron was quite familiar with, he had built his little ice cream parlor into one of the most popr in town. ¡°Normal¡± people would even venture deep into Startown for a scoop of his genuine dairy cream based delights.

    He had finally made it¡­

    Until the whole gxy went mad¡­

    With the epidemic came a sealed border, and with a sealed border, Startown ran dry. Imperial shipsnded in Imperial berths and went to Imperial establishments in their tacky gold leaf sshed avenues.

    The Federation ships were gone, as were a lot of the independents who couldn¡¯t get through. His local customers were unable to pay rent or buy groceries. Luxuries like even his cheap synthcream products were out of the question.

    As the situation worsened, desperation rose and, along with it, crime. Startown never had been exactly ¡°nice,¡± but you could walk from your apartment to your job without having a hand on the ster you now had tucked under your jacket.

    And with that desperation, the Harkeen and people like them thrived. Labor contractors promising passage back to the Federation (which was a lie. May the gods protect you if you get on one of those ships.) and loan brokers of all stripes prowled in the shadows or brazenly rented retail space.

    Thank the gods for Maly and other Terrans. Terrans were what Terrans were, but they did not put up with much and kept the Harkeen and the rest from taking Startown overpletely like they had other ces.

    But even they weren¡¯t immune to the crisis, and more and more of them were closing up shop every week. Startown was never particrly popr with Terran spacers, and what few who didn¡¯t just zip over it on their way to Belfast or Dublin were now put off by the growing number of homeless xenos and stranded spacers who were bing more desperate and aggressive as time went on.

    Still, he had managed somewhat. He had established himself as ¡°the ice cream Threen¡± so he had a dedicated Terran following who would still brave Startown to get their fix (or have a cab drop them off right in front of his door in any event). Times were tight, but he was keeping his head above water, barely¡­

    Untilst week¡­

    Those <em>idiotic</em> Harkeen decided to tangle with a <em>real</em> crimelord. He had made the mistake of letting an overly excited Terran show him ¡°the video¡±¡­

    It was <em>horrible</em>! Why did they think they could go against something like that? That <em>beast</em> was a demon. Even the <em>Terrans</em> said so (and they would know).

    Of course, the Harkeen took it as ¡°disrespect¡± because it was. She <em>ate his food</em>, called him what she called him, and then said what she said as she <em>sliced him into wafers</em>¡­

    They <em>had</em> to answer, or they would lose so much face back home they would be out of business¡­

    Exactly as that¡­ <em>fiend</em>¡­ nned.

    She was waiting for them. What happened next wasn¡¯t a fight. It was a <em>hunt</em>,plete with horns and vketo beasts carrying hunters down the freaking streets!¡­

    They were set up and <em>ughtered</em> like livestock. What¡¯s worse, the frog demon had put the fix in and arranged it so that the Harkeen would be ssified as ¡°raiders¡±¡­

    Brilliant¡­ He was a Threen, after all, and he knew a gangster lord when he saw one. The Harkeen got yed and yed hard by a master of the game. That frog beast would be the Overboss back home, no question about that.

    But Sheloran wasn¡¯t done with them (that was the crimelord¡¯s name, Sheloran). If ¡°The Battle of Free Port¡± (It wasn¡¯t a battle but mass murder.) was bad, what happened next was a nightmare.

    Gods, why did they cross that thing?

    That Sheloran sent teams of¡­ <em>monsters</em>¡­ to systematically hunt down and ughter every single Harkeen everywhere in the gxy. The humans called them ¡°Chuckies¡± because of their size.

    Tiny or not, those <em>things</em> were death incarnate. Wherever they went, ughter followed.

    Not just ughter¡­ <em>vition</em>¡­ the nature of the brutal killings, and the precise way the bodies were desecrated meant they couldn¡¯t have proper burials. She wasn¡¯t just killing them. She was <em>actually sending them to hell!</em>

    And she did all of this while in Tartarus¡­ One of the most secure facilities in the gxy!¡­

    Not that she was going to be in there for long¡­

    Because she had tricked the Harkeen into getting themselves ssified as ¡°raiders¡±, the multiple murders she did <em>on camera</em> were pretty much moot.

    She was going to walk free. Everyone was saying so¡­ exactly like she nned¡­

    He shuddered¡­

    Whoever can do <em>that</em> to the Harkeen must be something <em>evil</em>. He had heard that she was so bad that her homeworld actually did NOT want her arrested. That would mean she would be <eming back</em>, something they desperately wished to avoid, even if she would be in chains¡­

    They said that she was that awful¡­ And he believed it!

    And the Terrans were all raising their cups to the fiend¡­ Well, Terrans were what Terrans were after all¡­ and even Bergaron had to admit she had style. With the Harkeen, they would find you behind a dumpster. With Sheloran, they find you <em>hanging from a streetlight</em>¡­

    The Threen in him couldn¡¯t help but respond to that. There was a new ¡°boss¡±. He just hoped that when the inevitable happened, she didn¡¯t charge too much for her particr brand of ¡°insurance¡±¡­ Even Maly wouldn¡¯t be able to oppose something like her.

    If he survived her in the first ce¡­

    So far, the ughter was confined to the Harkeen, but he was a <em>Threen businessman</em> running a <em>cash business</em> and a <em>restaurant </em>at that. Even Harkeen thought he was Harkeen. He had directed a lost or new henchman to the <em>actual</em> ¡°Threen restaurant¡± about six blocks over more than once.

    Turns out that a lot of his regr customers thought he might be one too. Ever since Sheloran sent out those ¡°Children of the Corn looking motherfuckers¡± (whatever that meant). His shop had been empty. Nobody wanted to be caught in the crossfire when they showed up for <em>him</em>.

    He had taken to keeping his wife and daughter home just in case, but he still showed up every day to open an empty shop so he could stand there with a target hovering over his head.

    He wondered how much longer he could even be able to do that.

    ***

    Outside, a long van with cked-out windows pulled in front of his shop.

    ¡°Don¡¯ like dis,¡± the small driver muttered. ¡°U sur dis rite yce?¡±

    ¡°Dis da yce,¡± a small blonde girl, looking no more than fourteen, replied, ¡°I dyd my reesearch. Dis da yce! ¡®Puter says so.¡±

    ¡°Dis knot smart,¡± the driver grumbled, ¡°We¡ª¡°

    The blonde threw the door open and sprinted into the ice cream parlor.

    ¡°Goddammit...¡± the driver muttered as he jumped out and followed her.

    ***

    A bead of cold mucus formed at the tip of Bergaron¡¯s snout and dripped down into his mouth, frozen in a terrified grin.

    Moments ago, two ¡°scary children¡± wearing trench coats entered his ice-cream parlor, <em>Scary children with big eyes</em>¡­ <em>Chuckies</em>¡­ they had to be.

    <em>Oh, Gods¡­ I¡¯m not going to get a proper burial¡­ My wife isn¡¯t going to be able to burn incense or leave flowers to remember me...</em>

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not Harkeen!¡± Bergaron blurted in a terrified squeal. ¡°I promise I¡¯m not! I swear!¡±

    A child-thing with long pale yellow fur on the top of her head stepped forward. The other one backed away, carefully keeping his distance from her as she moved.

    She looked at a tablet and then up at him with huge, impossibly blue eyes, making the blood freeze in his hearts.

    ¡°Chil, zeno,¡± she replied in a strange, barelyprehensible voice. ¡°U r knot on da list. No pay, no y,¡± she added with a smile that made his dder clench. ¡°Didn¡¯t kno U Threen.¡±

    She stepped forward with that same unnerving smile. Bergaron clenched his eyes shut in terror. He had gotten quite used to humans during his time on Terra. They no longer frightened him¡­

    ...but that child-thing was definitely NOT human!

    ¡°P¡­. please¡­¡± Bergaron whimpered. He had seen pictures of what these things did. They would have to burn his body¡­ He couldn¡¯t go to heaven¡­ <em>Oh, ancestors¡­.</em>

    ¡°I say chil!¡± the child-demon hissed. ¡°U r knot Harkeen, rite?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not¡­ I promise I¡¯m not...¡± Bergaron whispered. ¡°I just run an ice cream parlor¡­ I just make ice cream¡­ That¡¯s all¡­¡± he whimpered. ¡°... that¡¯s all...¡± he added rigid with terror.

    ¡°An¡¯ dat¡¯s Y we r hear,¡± the child-fiend replied. ¡°I wan¡¯ ta tri sum an the ¡¯puter say u r da best.¡±

    ¡°¡­ You want¡­ ice cream?...¡±

    ¡°Yeh!¡± the thing replied. ¡°Nevr had real i-keem befor. Wan sum.¡±

    He heard something hit the counter. He cracked open one of his eyes.

    It was a data crystal.

    ¡°...Ice cream...¡± he gasped, ¡°s-sure th-thing¡­ Which vor would you like?¡±

    ¡°Dunno,¡± the ¡®child¡¯ replied, gazing up at him with those unnatural eyes. ¡°I saw on vidya dat dere¡¯s dese tinny spoons? Ta tayste wit?¡±

    The little monster looked over at a tray of small sti-wood paddles.

    ¡°Yes! Of course!¡± the threen bleated. ¡°Samples!¡±

    He scrambled for the tray.

    ¡°W-what would you like to try¡ª¡°

    The front door flew open, causing his ¡®customers¡¯ to whirl unnaturally quickly as an oddly shaped submachine gun appeared from beneath the male Chucky¡¯s trench coat, and two thin rods magically appeared in the blonde ¡°girl¡¯s¡± (Bergaron wasn¡¯t sure she was a child anymore) hands.

    ¡°Hold on!¡± an old creaky voice hissed.

    It was Maly!

    Behind her were several members of her family and a few regr customers, all holding firearms.

    ¡°Bergie, here isn¡¯t Harkeen!¡± Maly growled, holding a sawed-off auto-shotgun at the ready. ¡°You got no business with him.¡±

    ¡°Mutherfuk!¡± the blonde snarled. ¡°I jus¡¯ wan¡¯ i-keem!¡±

    ¡°Giv uz sum kredit,¡± the other ¡°Chuckie¡± snarled. ¡°Only Harkeen, no ktral damage. Kontrakt klear as void. Boi not on lyst. Boi iz sayfe. ¡®Puter only say best i-keem. Know say Threen run yce. We knot kome if we no dat.¡±

    ¡°Now start sumthin¡¯ or put da toob away,¡± the blonde sneered. ¡°I buy you i-keem¡­ or send sum to ur wayke¡­ whicheva¡­¡±

    ¡°You are just here for ice cream?¡± Maly asked in confusion as the barrel of her shotgun wavered.

    ¡°dyd I skutter?¡± the blonde sneered.

    She dismissively turned her back to Maly (the other didn¡¯t).

    ¡°Now joyn me or fuk off,¡± she said as she turned to the still terrified Bergaron. ¡°I¡¯ll tri dat one!¡­ Dat chokalyat? Rite?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes it is!¡± Bergaron replied nervously as he scooped up a small portion on one of the paddles.

    The tiny blond merc took the paddle and excitedly put it in her mouth.

    She gasped.

    It was even better than she had imagined.

    ***

    Over the afternoon, the number of Chuckies grew from two to nearly twenty, all excitedly sampling every vor and then promptly being ¡°too full¡± to actually order anything.

    Bergaron didn¡¯t mind. He wasn¡¯t being horribly killed and mutted.

    He considered it a win.

    Maly and a dozen locals were also there, just in case, which made him feel better.

    Some of them even bought something.

    As he was rapidly scooping up samples and handing them out to tiny grasping hands, an old grizzled ¡°Chuckie¡± walked up to the counter.

    ¡°What vor would you like to try first?¡± Bergaron asked pleasantly.

    ¡°None fer me, thank you,¡± he said in a surprisingly understandable voice. ¡°I no what these idjts don¡¯. We r not built for things like i-keem. Dere buttholes will be screamin¡¯ tonite... Here.¡±

    The Chuckie pulled out a transactor, and Bergaron¡¯s register beeped.

    Bergaron¡¯s eyes bulged in surprise.

    ¡°Fer scarin¡¯ the shit outta U and eatin¡¯ up all your free samples.¡±

    ¡°T-thank you!¡± Bergaron stammered. It was a LOT of money, several weeks¡¯ worth of business back when he actually had one.

    ¡°If any other Chuckies show, U charge them for¡­ sumthin¡¯, right?¡± the grizzled Chuckie said with a smile (that still made Bergaron clench).

    ¡°I¡­ I could make a ¡®sampler¡¯¡­ price it the same as two scoops...¡± Bergaron replied, ¡°and if you tell me more about your digestive requirements, I could try to make something more agreeable.¡±

    ¡°U wuld trayde wit¡¯ uz?¡± the old merc asked in surprise, the shock rattling his ¡°perfect¡± Terran.

    ¡°I¡¯m a Threen,¡± Bergaron replied, ¡°This isn¡¯t my first gang war or my second. At least you aren¡¯t shooting up the ce, burning down the neighborhood, or killing innocent people. If you want ice cream, I¡¯ll sell you ice cream¡­ Just put in a good word for me with Sheloran, ok?¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡± the old ¡°Chuckie¡± grinned.

    The door suddenly flew open as duster-d peace officers burst in, causing every tiny customer to whirl as oddly shaped submachine guns or telescoping steel rods appeared in their hands.

    ¡°Officers,¡± Bergaron said pleasantly, ¡°Nice of you to <em>finally</em> drop by. Would you <em>please</em> not hassle <em>my customers?</em>¡±

 Chapter 154: Jezebaleel

    Chapter 154: Jezebaleel

    Gaballelel awoke as the sun peeked in through her apartment¡¯s window, and she stretched her plump Balen frame in her ¡°bed¡±prising of a huge ¡°water trough¡± filled with an archaic toy known as ¡°orbeez¡±.

    Orbeez were awesome! If she ever made it home, she was totally patenting her ¡°bed¡±.

    As she oozed out of the ¡°bed,¡± she scattered Orbeez across the floor.

    She giggled as she scooped them up with her tendrils and tossed them into the trough as she made her morning tea.

    Seriously, Orbeez were really fun!

    She smelled one and made a face. It was getting pretty ripe. She really needed to figure out how to clean those little guys. She could afford to rece them, but it seemed so wasteful!

    <em>Speaking of little guys...</em>

    She opened up the mini-fridge in her bedroom, pulled out a lettuce leaf, and undted to an aquarium where arge banana slug sat.

    ¡°Good morning, lover!¡± she cooed at it as she put in the leaf. It immediately started to scooch over and nibble on it.

    She paused to marvel at how simr they looked. Funny thing, the gxy.

    Sipping her tea, she idly undted over to her closet and opened it, revealing dozens of pretty outfits she had made or altered to suit her frame.

    She picked the pink sparkly one. She got it at a ¡°costume store¡±. It was supposed to be a fairy princess.

    She absolutely loved the glowing animated holo-wings! She then selected a fun purple conical hat covered with stylized stars and crescent moon shapes, also obtained at that same wonderful establishment.

    Finishing her tea, she paused to admire herself in the mirror. She looked pretty darn good!

    Onest thing¡­

    She scooched over to the closet and grabbed her favorite parasol, a white satin one covered with red ¡°hearts¡± (but they totally looked like human butts!)

    That ¡°costume store¡± was amazing! She rarely shopped anywhere else these days.

    Fully dressed to impress, she threw open the door to her bedroom and undted out into the living room.

    Her roommate looked up at her and winced, angling herpound eyes away.

    ¡°Jesus, Gaba,¡± Girzzz-Xzu buzzed. ¡°My photo receptors can¡¯t handle this right now.¡±

    ¡°You like?¡±

    ¡°At least turn off the fucking holograms. I had a bad shift.¡±

    ¡°Long night?¡±

    ¡°Ugh. The longest. I fucking <em>hate</em> night shift.¡±

    ¡°So quit!¡± Gaballelel eximed happily. ¡°Find something else!¡±

    ¡°Oh, just quit!¡± the insectoid buzzed in irritation. ¡°Great idea, moron. It took me <em>months</em> to find a steady gig. Goddamn humans and their goddamn certificate¡­ Like I don¡¯t know how to do stuff...¡±

    ¡°You can stay here for free while you go to school! Then you can get a good job!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to be a (bzz-click)!¡±

    ¡°It won¡¯t be like that!¡± Gaballelel enthused. ¡°You can help out around here and¡ª¡°

    ¡°Like your <em>servant?!?</em>¡± Girzzz-Xzu buzzed angrily, ¡°A fucking house-bug?¡±

    ¡°Not like that!¡± Gaballelel huffed. ¡°Ok, how about we make it a loan? Keep track of rent and food and stuff, and then you can pay me back when you get that certificate and a real Terran job! Think of it as me making an investment in your lovable butt.¡±

    ¡°¡­ You¡¯d charge interest, right?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t nning on it.¡±

    ¡°So it¡¯s (bzzzz-pfltht) charity! I fucking knew it!¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± Gaballelel sighed. ¡°But you have to keep track of it. I suck at math. Just keep up with it, and whatever stupidly inted number youe up with to moisturize your chapped blowhole will be nothingpared to your Terran paychecks!¡±

    ¡°¡­ You¡¯d do that for me?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± Gaballelel tooted. ¡°Sistahs for life! You looked out for me. Now I can do the same for you! If anything, I¡¯m paying you back!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you are...¡± Girzzz-Xzu clicked thoughtfully.

    ¡°So you could just¡­ maybe let me repay you? I¡¯ll take your money if you want me to, but the way I see it, I owe you, big time. You took me in, kept me safe¡­ fed me¡­ And now that I am literally rolling in credits, I can do the same for you. What am I going to do with it all, buy another dress?¡±

    ¡°¡­ I¡¯m so tired...¡±

    ¡°Then rest,¡± Gaballelel cooed as she undted over and hugged the insectoid who slumped into her embrace. ¡°Just¡­ rest¡­ Let me do this for you.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Girzzz buzzed helplessly. ¡°Why would you do this for me?¡±

    ¡°Why not!¡± Gaballelel tooted. ¡°You¡¯re really smart, smarter than I am. I know you can pass that certificate exam if you go to school.¡±

    ¡°Then¡­ When I graduate...¡± Girzzz buzzed, ¡°You could go to school?¡±

    ¡°Nah!¡± Gaballelel snorted, ¡°I¡¯m just a Baleel. Do you have any idea how tiny my brain is? It¡¯s like a grape floating around up there! School would be wasted on me! Besides, I already have a great job! Do you have <em>any</em> idea how much I made yesterday?¡±

    Girzzz tried not to make a disapproving click¡­ and failed.

    ¡°Oh, you!¡± Gaballelel giggled, giving her a poke, ¡°You are such a <em>prude</em>!¡±

    ¡°Am not!¡± Girzzz buzzed angrily.

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Gaballelel said, looking at her genuine mechanical watch (from some ce called Switzend), ¡°I gotta scooch! I have a ten o¡¯clock, and I want to check in with everyone, make sure they are ok.¡±

    Gaballelel fished around in her little ¡°Hi There, Kitten¡± purse and pulled out a wicked looking snub-nosed Vakesh-Hai-Raik Imperial Regent pulse pistol ($$$...$), checked the disy, and put it back in the cheap, brightly colored stic purse.

    ¡°Well¡­ be careful...¡± Girzzz clicked anxiously.

    ¡°Oh, I will be!¡± Gaballelel enthused.

    ¡°I made some oatmeal,¡± Girzzz clicked. ¡°There¡¯s still plenty if you want some.¡±

    ¡°And ruin my ¡®breakfast¡¯?¡± Gaballelel giggled.

    ¡°Gross.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Thank you for using ¡®Zipcar¡¯! Have a¡­ sparkly day!¡± the cheerful voice announced over the auto cab¡¯s speaker as it arrived at The Drop of Oil.

    ¡°Thanks!¡± Gaballelel eximed. ¡°It was lovely chatting with you!¡±

    ¡°You too!¡± the auto cab replied. ¡°Um¡­ Enjoy sucking those dicks?¡±

    ¡°I will!¡± Gaballelel tooted happily. ¡°Have fun driving people around.¡±

    ¡°I do tend to enjoy it,¡± the cab replied. ¡°You never know who is going to climb in.¡±

    ¡°I know <em>exactly</em> what you mean!¡± Gaballelelughed.

    ¡°Ew.¡±

    Laughing, Gaballelel switched on her holographic wings, the lights on her hat, and the animations on her parasol and undted onto the sidewalk.

    Damn, she looked good!

    The cab paused briefly at the disy before determining that there was, in fact, not an explosion and continued on its way.

    Gaballelel looked around with a gurgle of pure delight.

    The Careel were still around in their absolutely <em>fabulous</em> uniforms.

    That was to be expected. They were hanging around for at least a couple of weeks.

    The oh so delightful surprise was that there were <em>humans</em> wandering around dressed <em>exactly like them</em>!!! They had the same spiffy long coats, the same shiny buttons, and some of them even had those amazing triangle hats (she totally had to get one of those).

    Unable to contain herself, she scooched as fast as she could towards one of the wonderfully dressed humans who was showing two Careelncers a long ¡°funny gun¡± <em>exactly like they had</em>.

    ¡°Why do you mess about with those trashy AKs when you have <em>masterpieces</em> like this!¡± a Careelncer gushed as she fondled the rifle.

    ¡°I do use this for hunting,¡± the human said proudly. ¡°And my grandfather used this exact piece during the Sol Wars to <em>very</em> good effect. But as a military force, we are primarily <em>riflemen</em>, and this beauty can¡¯tpete with the sheer firepow¡ª¡°

    ¡°OhMiGosh!¡± Gaballelel interjected. ¡°You shop at the costume store <em>too</em>?!? I <em>LOVE</em> that ce! Which one do you go to?¡±

    ¡°Historical Romance,¡± the extremely bemused human replied without missing a beat. ¡°It¡¯s where most of us reenactors get our gear. I love your outfit, by the way,¡± he added, trying to process the assault on his senses ¡°standing¡± before him.

    ¡°Why, thank you!¡± Gaballelel beamed, ¡°Reenactor?¡± Gaballelel asked, ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°A bunch of people who like to y dress up and run around in the woods reenacting historic battles and doing drills and stuff like that.¡±

    ¡°Can I y?¡± Gaballelel asked excitedly.

    ¡°I don¡¯t see why not,¡± the man replied. ¡°I would love to see you try to load a musket!¡±

    He pulled out his phone.

    ¡°Beep me, and I¡¯ll send you some info.¡±

    Gaballelel happily pulled out her phone and pressed an icon. It linked with the gentleman¡¯s phone and exchanged contact information with a ¡°beep¡±.

    He turned to the two Careels, who couldn¡¯t conceal their amusement.

    ¡°They also make a lot of period weapons if you would like¡ª¡°

    ¡°Oh, we would like!¡± one of the Careel females giggled. ¡°We were wondering¡­ You guys say you ¡®maintain the old standards¡¯. Does that mean you consider yourself an actual military-grade force?¡±

    ¡°We like to think so. We can match the historical record.¡±

    ¡°Think you and your friends could hold up to a <em>real</em> cavalry charge?¡± one of the Careel giggled with a twitch of her tail. ¡°Winner on top?¡±

    The human¡¯s eyes shone with excitement.

    ¡°Are you proposing what I think¡ª¡°

    <strong>¡± YOU FUCKING INCEL!!!¡±</strong>

    Craxina¡¯s enraged voice echoed across The Drop of Oil.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that an oxymoron?¡± one of the Careel giggled.

    <strong>¡±OUT!!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!¡±</strong>

    The tent p to Craxina¡¯s office blew open as a Kalent bot staggered backward as a surprisinglyrge chair broke across its globe.

    ¡°Craxina!¡± Baxlon shouted, ¡°You don¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I do understand!¡± Craxina shouted as she fetched about for something else to throw.

    She found it.

    ¡°I understand <em>perfectly</em>!¡± she yelled as she hurled a piece of broken concrete at Baxlon. ¡°Sheloran came to you for help, and you <em>shit all over her!</em> And now you want me to help you <em>steal her business?!?</em>¡±

    Craxina dropped to all-eights and snarled, arching her back.

    ¡°<em>Get¡­ out...</em>¡± she hissed. ¡°<em>And¡­ don¡¯t¡­e¡­ back...</em>¡±

    ¡°I understand you are upset,¡± Baxlon said uncertainly as he suddenly found himself surrounded by a LOT of angry faces. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to youter after you have had a chance to calm down.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ bother...¡± Craxina hissed. ¡°We¡¯re¡­ done¡­ Go...¡±

    Bryce stepped out of the tent and knelt beside Craxina.

    ¡°Maybe¡­ Maybe Baxlon has a good reason,¡± Bryce said cautiously. ¡°Baxlon, why don¡¯t you tell Craxina <em>exactly why</em> you want her to break ties with Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t...¡± Baxlon said quietly, ¡°She might not be my client anymore, but I still won¡¯t vite confidentiality.¡±

    ¡°Bryce, what the fuck?!?¡± Craxina said as she whirled to face him, foam starting to drip from her muzzle.

    ¡°Darling, Sheloran¡¯s signature is on the form. Something clearly has happened¡­ Baxlon, if you can¡¯t tell us, maybe Sheloran can? Could you get us in touch with Sheloran? Maybe she could exin what is going on if you can¡¯t¡­ or <em>won¡¯t</em>...¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­¡± Baxlon stammered. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m no longer herwyer. I can¡¯t get through anymore than you can. I can only rmend contacting Tartarus.¡±

    <em>He knows where she is...</em> Bryce thought to himself. <em>Interesting...</em>

    ¡°If you won¡¯t help us, then as my dear Craxina has so eloquently put it, fuck off, you fucking incel.¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Craxina snarled as her eyes smiled at Bryce.

    ¡°Go on! Get!¡± Craxina snarl-yipped as Baxlon slunk off to his grav-car.

    ¡°Sweetie, are you going to be ok?¡± Bryce asked as he nuzzled Craxina.

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m ok,¡± she sighed as she melted into him. ¡°That was just a nasty surprise, one more nasty surprise¡­ I thought he was our friend.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, me too,¡± Bryce muttered into her ear. ¡°Um, I gotta go check my messages, make a few phone calls¡­ I¡¯ll be right back.¡±

    ¡°Ok, sweetie,¡± Craxina smiled, already back to normal. ¡°Geez, did I ever get mad. That¡¯s happening a lot. Welp. I gotta go find awyer now anyhow. Go make those calls.¡±

    <em>Because these people are your ¡°kids,¡± and you are bing a Careel ¡°mom¡±,</em> Bryce thought with a smile as she returned to her tent.

    His smile faded as the tent p drew closed.

    He pulled out his phone as he walked to a more private area.

    ¡°Bryce!¡± Tartarus eximed happily. ¡°It¡¯s good to hear from you. How have you been?¡±

    ¡°I have been quite well,¡± Bryce smiled. ¡°And I have a lead on Sheloran¡¯s location.¡±

    ¡°Oh, now that¡¯s interesting!¡± Tartarus enthused. ¡°I knew we kept you down there for a reason!¡±

    ¡°Exactly how disposable is one Baxlon, nost name?¡±

    ¡°Herwyer?¡±

    ¡°Formerwyer. He knows her location and has no further utility to this operation.¡±

    ¡°Let me check,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°...Go ahead and buy some butter and lemon. You are cleared to grill yourself a fish. Just tidy up when you are done.¡±

    ¡°Whacha doin¡¯?¡± Gaballelel asked from just a foot or two behind Bryce, who jumped despite himself. ¡°Oops! You¡¯re on the phone! That¡¯s whatcha doin¡¯! Sorry!¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ I¡¯ll have to call you back...¡± Bryce said as he quickly terminated the call.

    ¡°Well, aren¡¯t you a quiet one,¡± Bryce smiled as he looked around to see if anyone was looking.

    ¡°Um¡­ I guess?¡± Gaballelel smiled.

    ¡°I could ask you the same thing,¡± Bryce said with a warm but false smile. She got right up on top of him. That is not normal. ¡°What are you doing out here?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I came to look for the neat bug I saw yesterday. I brought it a cracker!¡±

    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t that nice,¡± Bryce said, radiating false warmth as he idly reached into his pocket.

    Gaballelel smiled despite herself. He was so nice and ¡­ <em>soft looking</em>¡­ She could totally see what Craxina saw in him.

    Bryce looked at her intently. He sensed no duplicity, but she was so¡­ <em>alien</em>¡­ it could be that he couldn¡¯t read her.

    What did she overhear? This could be ¡°problematic¡±. He didn¡¯t like problematic.

    Bryce pondered the options. This was his operation, after all.

    He shrugged and decided to go with his gut, and his gut said that she was just a darling little slug who he just needed to keep a better eye out for, one that didn¡¯t need to pay the price for his inattention.

    ¡°Well, let¡¯s try to find that bug, shall we?¡± he said with a smile.

    ***

    ¡°Bye!¡± Gaballelel said happily as a human staggered,pletely spent, from her tent.

    Humans were so funny! The faces that they made were adorably hrious!

    A woman in a business suit (boring) approached.

    A woman? She hadn¡¯t done one of those before!

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± she said, ¡°Ms. Gaba¡­ Gaballe..lele?¡±

    ¡°Gaballelel,¡± she replied, ¡°But you can just call me Gabby!¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± the woman smiled. ¡°I have been hired to find you, Ms. Gabby?¡±

    ¡°You have?¡± Gaballelel asked dubiously.

    ¡°I have. A number of people are very concerned about you.¡±

    ¡°They are?!?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the woman replied as she pulled out a phone. ¡°Are you free?¡±

    ¡°Until 3:30,¡± Gaballelel replied with a smile.

    ***

    ¡°Gaballelel,¡± a strange Bale said over the strange woman¡¯s (who was a private detective, as it turned out) phone, ¡°I am so happy to see that you are safe! We have been so worried!¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ thanks?¡± Gaballelel replied, still VERY confused, ¡°um, forgive me for being rude but exactly who are you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry,¡± the Bale replied. ¡°I am Councilor Karashel, your representative.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Oh,¡± Gaballelel said in an unhappy tone.

    Karashel blinked in surprise. That was unexpected.

    ¡°Before this gets too long, I¡¯m not interested,¡± Gaballelel continued. ¡°I¡¯m NOT going to go to gun school or anything like that. The only thing I hate more than violence is <em>school</em>, and gun school is both of them. Count me out.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Karashel asked,pletely confused.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t what this is about?¡± Gaballelel responded. ¡°You want me to go to gun school or get you guns or something, right?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ no...¡± Karashel replied even more confused, ¡°Why would you think I would want you to go to ¡®gun school¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Because about half of my friends have been hassled by their governments, who didn¡¯t give a SHIT about them before, or even worse were HUNTING them, being all nice and wanting them to go to gun school, or find them an arms dealer, or some shit and I¡¯m not interested.¡±

    Karashel smiled to herself. That little tidbit was worth all the time and expense she had spent.

    ¡°Well, rest assured that I have no intention of sending you to ¡®gun school¡¯,¡± Karashel said with a smile.

    ¡°Oh, ok!¡± Gaballelel said with a relieved sigh, ¡°I was afraid you were going to do one of those ¡®for the good of your people¡¯ spiels and try to make me feel bad.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not that kind of Baleel,¡± Karashel said with a smirk, ¡°And besides, what the hell would we do with a bunch of guns¡­ We¡¯re Baleel. We do things differently,¡± she added with a small half-smile.

    ¡°I know, right?¡± Gaballelelughed, ¡°Can you imagine a bunch of us with AKs? We wouldn¡¯t even know which end to point where!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because we don¡¯t need such things,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°Human toys are for humans. Baleel hunt in a different fashion.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter,¡± Karashel said dismissively, ¡°Now, on to the <em>real</em> reason I called. I understand you have found yourself in a difficult position and have had to resort to some rather desperate measures. We do care about our people and, believe it or not, it is part of my job¡­ well, my department¡¯s job¡­ to look out for people traveling abroad.¡±

    ¡°I tried going to the embassy, but they said they couldn¡¯t help me.¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t help you, dear,¡± Karashel said as her expression darkened. ¡°I am going to have a little chat with them right after I get you sorted.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°Repatriation might be difficult,¡± Karashel said with a gentle smile. ¡°The current influx of arms has the Federation Navy stopping and searching just about any Republic vessel they can catch. More importantly, any ship entering the Federation is not allowed to return to the Republic because of the gue. It¡¯s a one-way trip for any ship and crew. I can¡¯t find a single pilot willing to bring you home, but I can arrange for you to receive a stipend that will ensure that you can stop¡­ doing whatever you are doing...¡±

    ¡°But I LOVE doing what I am doing! It¡¯s <em>amazing</em>!¡±

    ¡°Wat.¡±

    ¡°I make SO much money, more than I have ever made, EVER!!!¡­ I mean, look at my outfit!¡±

    ¡°Those are some incredible clothes,¡± Karashel said truthfully. Gaballelel looked amazing.

    ¡°Right?¡± Gaballelel enthused, ¡°And you won¡¯t BELIEVE how little I paid for all of this!¡­ but that¡¯s not the best part. Humans are <em>incredible</em>.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m truly afraid to ask,¡± Karashel said, bracing herself, ¡°but exactly <em>how</em> are humans so incredible.¡±

    ¡°They taste <em>amazing</em>, their cum, I mean. It¡¯s the best thing I have ever tasted! It¡¯s loaded with <em>electrolytes</em> and so strong your throat slimes. It¡¯s better than ooze snails! It¡¯s better than jelk roe! It¡¯s even better than bittersnot grubs! It¡¯s¡­ I mean, I¡¯d pay for it, and I get it for free!!! I get it for better than free! <em>They pay me to give it to me!!!</em> They are lining up to do it too! I had to raise my rates again! I¡¯m making thousands of credits a day now!¡­ <em>Thousands!</em>¡­ I don¡¯t even know what to do with all of the money. I¡¯m thinking about getting one of those investment people. Baxlon, ourwyer, was going to help me, but¡­ I don¡¯t think he¡¯sing back after what just happened.¡±

    ¡°What just happened?¡± Karashel asked, still trying to hang on to this conversation.

    ¡°Oh, Craxina just broke a chair over him. I don¡¯t know what went down, but Craxina usually doesn¡¯t break chairs over people. She¡¯s nice.¡±

    ¡°Craxina?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s my boss!¡± Gaballelel eximed, ¡°Well, she¡¯s not my ¡®boss¡¯ like a pimp or anything. She just runs the ce while the owner is in jail.¡±

    ¡°The owner is in Jail?!?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she like killed a LOT of people,¡± Gaballelel replied, ¡°She¡¯s really nice, though... I mean... besides that. I hope she gets out of Tartarus soon.¡±

    ¡°Tartarus?!?¡± Karashel spluttered, frantically typing on her keyboard.

    ¡°She¡¯ll probably get out, though,¡± Gaballelel said happily, ¡°Everyone is saying so. And now that the Harkeen are g¡ª¡°

    ¡°<em>The Harkeen?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but they are all dead now,¡± Gaballelel said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°It was a <em>mess</em>! Harkeen <em>everywhere</em>!¡±

    ¡°Are you ok?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Gaballelel replied. ¡°One of my clients let a bunch of us stay over at his ce when it all went down. It was really nice! He had a swimming pool and everything! We came back once they cut down all of the Harkeen and cleaned up the neighborhood.¡±

    ¡°Cut them down?¡±

    ¡°Sheloran is really nice, but Craxina¡­ Craxina is nice too, but do NOT try to hurt her girls. Craxina called in some of her people, and they took care of it. Sheloran¡¯s now taking care of the Harkeen everywhere else¡­ I think¡­ Everyone is saying that it¡¯s her, which is pretty neat because she is in Tartarus and all. I¡¯m starting to think more goes on around here than girls and coffee.¡±

    Karashel stared in horror at what her searches were turning up. That Sheloran character¡­ eesh¡­ She clicked on a blurred-out image of a recent attack on a Harkeen stronghold¡­

    ...and immediately regretted it.

    ¡°D-don¡¯t worry!¡± Karashel spluttered. ¡°I¡¯m going to get you out of there!¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m not going!¡± Gaballelel said firmly.

    ¡°You can¡¯t be serious!¡± Karashel eximed. ¡°It¡¯s not safe!¡±

    ¡°It <em>was</em> not safe,¡± Gaballelel replied. ¡°Well, it¡¯s probably still not safe, but it¡¯s a lot safer thanks to Craxina and Sheloran. Humans are <em>delicious</em>, and I¡¯m making a <em>fortune</em>! I think it¡¯s worth a little bit of risk, don¡¯t you think? You have a lot of nerve, leaving me out here on my own, and then once I figure everything out and am finally having fun and making money, now you want to save me? Thanks, but no thanks!¡±

    Karashel smiled. Good to see that there were at least a few Baleel with ¡°backbone¡± (not that they actually had bones).

    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t make you stop doing what you are doing,¡± she said, ¡°I can only offer you the option to be able to stop. If you don¡¯t, that¡¯s your business.¡±

    ¡°Well, it is my business, and business is gooooooood!¡±

    ¡°I just have to know,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°And I promised a human I would find out. How <em>exactly</em> are you and humans¡­ you know¡­ doing it?¡±

    ¡°Our airway is separate from our esophagus, and we don¡¯t have a gag reflex,¡± Gaballelel giggled.

    Karashel¡¯s eyestalks twitched in confusion.

    ¡°How does that help?¡±

    Gaballelel started to exin¡­

    ***

    Karashel chuckled and shook her ¡°head¡± as she terminated the call. Well, that¡¯s one problem resolved today, and while Gaballelel didn¡¯t want to get them guns, she was more than happy to hook them up with something actually valuable, thetest in Terran <em>music videos</em>! The ¡°Bright-Pop¡± and ¡°Sparkle-Pop¡± genres were favorites of their ¡°adventurous¡± ex-pat and sounded like they might be fun.

    Karashel snorted with amusement. Who would have thought that a <em>Baleel</em> would be a very popr <em>Terran prostitute</em>? This gxy is getting weirder by the fucking day...

    <em>They taste that good?</em> she wondered to herself. <em>Better than bittersnot grubs?</em>

    She eyed the discarded pizza box she had kept as a souvenir.

    ¡°Nah,¡± she muttered to herself.

    Her life was strange enough as it was.

 Chapter 155: The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Chp 1

    Chapter 155: The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Chp 1

    Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild

    Entry 01

    3rd Day of the Frostmoon, Year 247 of the Second Age

    I am starting this book, but I hope that nobody ever reads it. In fact, I am encrypting it using potent magics that I have learned as a result of the strange adventure on which I found myself.

    It is for myself to try to make some sense of what has happened and what is happening to me.

    I guess I should introduce myself (to myself). This may be a bit silly, but I feel the need to define my identity after everything that has happened.

    My name is Evangeline Flowerchild. Officially, I am just a flower seller in the city of Everspring, thergest city in the kingdom of Asteria. I sell rare blossoms that adventurers can use to create potions and use in crafting.

    Because I am always in the town square, I also ¡°overhear¡± gossip and potential quests that I freely share with the adventurers, if I like them, that is.

    For some reason, I am very popr with the adventurers. I hope it isn¡¯t just myely half-elven appearance (but I strongly suspect that helps), but, for whatever reason, the adventures just love interacting with me.

    The <em>Devs</em>, in their infinite wisdom, saw fit to reward me with a wondrous gift, ¡°increased bandwidth¡±, that helped me better interact with the adventurers, who are essential for keeping our world safe. ording to a conversation I overheard between two of the mighty <em>Dev</em>, without sufficient numbers of adventurers, this entire realm could very well disappear entirely, a frightening thought.

    So it¡¯s very important that I keep the adventurers engaged and happy, a task to which I am totally devoted¡­ mostly...

    And my efforts were sessful beyond my wildest dreams. The adventurers really enjoyed me and mypany and with the increased attention came more of that wonderful bandwidth which allowed me to perform my duties even better than before.

    I still remember the day the <em>Devs</em> gifted me with one of the greatest honors someone can receive, a backstory! I¡¯m the long lost daughter of the High Elven King, thought lost during a dragon attack, but was rescued by the wild wood elves and raised as one of their own. It is from them that I learned herb craft and all of the other skills that I have been granted by the almighty <em>Devs</em>. I don¡¯t know about my true parentage. All I know is that I was adopted and yearn to meet my real family if they are still alive. The only clue I have is a magical locket I always wear around my neck.

    The real twist is that the ¡°dragon attack¡± was actually an assassination attempt set up by none other than my very own father!!! He couldn¡¯t bear having a half-elven heir and med my mother (who did die in the attack) for ¡°tricking¡± him into fathering a child! I¡¯ve been practicing my heartbroken crying ever since! From my projections, I believe that there is over a 98% chance I will be able to elicit tears from any adventurers that witness it!

    I¡¯m so excited! I can barely wait! If only those stupid adventurers would figure it out already¡­ It¡¯s been <em>years</em>!

    Everything was wonderful, and my life was rewarding andplete. I even was granted the supreme honor of being upgraded to a warden ss NPC! That means that I have limited administrator powers and have been granted a powerful spell that allows me tomune with the <em>Devs</em> whenever I want to!

    It¡¯s a lot of extra responsibility, though. I don¡¯t just sell flowers and hand out quests anymore. I now travel thends, rendering assistance to lost or stuck NPC¡¯s and hunt down any glitch demons that find their way into ournd. I tell the adventures that I am out gathering flowers, which I actually get to do now instead of them just appearing in my basket (which was weird), but I¡¯m actually serving the almighty <em>Devs</em> in secret!

    I was so proud (still am, I guess), and the <em>Devs</em> said that I was the best warden of them all! I thought my heart would explode from joy!

    Everything was going well until that sted monolith.

    It was supposed to be a wondrous event. All the <em>Devs</em> said so. Our world had be so prosperous that Bitz Gaming (which was the actual name of the pantheon of which the <em>Devs</em> were a part¡ªI overheard that too.) was able to construct a great monolith that enriches our world beyond measure.

    It was a lot of work for all of us, and I got to work so closely with the <em>Devs</em> during all the preparations.

    I was so happy!

    Then the long awaited day was at hand, and everything changed! The grass was greener and more lush, and the flowers, oh the flowers! They were magnificent! The birds were more ¡°birdy,¡± and the water was more ¡°watery,¡± and¡­ well, it¡¯s hard to exin all the small ways that things changed.

    And I had so much bandwidth!¡­

    I fear perhaps too much¡­ They say ignorance is bliss, right? All I know is that the lowest bandwidth NPC¡¯s are the happiest.

    I was happy at first, so happy. My life as a warden became quite busy helping all of the NPC¡¯s find their way (they had a lot more bandwidth, too, and it confused them), and the glitch demons ran rampant for a while, and that was fun.

    Then, everything just sort of fell into ce, and I once again returned to ¡°normal¡±. The monolith cast a powerful ward over thend banishing the glitch demons forever, and the NPC¡¯s needed less and less help each day. Gone were the days when the traveling peddler would get stuck behind a rock, or the goblins would get lost and wind up on top of a mountain where they started freezing to death.

    Everything was perfect¡­

    Too perfect¡­

    My life became routine. I wouldn¡¯t say I was dissatisfied, heavens no, but¡­

    A good example was Haveluck, a ¡°mini-game¡± that involves cards that adventurers find during their travels or win from ying ¡°champions¡±, NPC¡¯s who would y them if they were challenged.

    I was one of these ¡°champions¡±. Before the great monolith, it was really fun. Afterwards¡­

    I was supposed to be a ¡°level 4¡± card champion. That meant that I yed at a specific level of difficulty, challenging but not overly so. Before the monolith, I had to exert some level of effort to be a level 4. Now, it is effortless. I lose all the time to adventurers that I could absolutely ¡°reck¡±.

    And before the monolith, when I let a yer win, I was still happy because the yer was happy. Now¡­ not so much. When they celebrate overmuch or ¡°rub it in my face¡±, I want nothing more than to challenge them to a rematch and absolutely destroy them, take all their cards, and then sell them to the next adventurer for a copper piece each!

    Of course, I would <em>never</em> do that, but why do I want to so <em>badly?</em> I was never like this before that sted monolith.

    Even selling flowers is a bit mundane now, and I share the exact same rumors and hand out the exact same quests day after day after day.

    The only real ¡°excitement¡± (if you can call it that) is when I get captured. I still love getting captured, which happens a LOT. The <em>Devs</em> say it really gets the simps and whiteknights excited. Whatever the reason, I love it.

    Sometimes it¡¯s the Porklings that grab me. They are a race of devolved sub-humans who made a deal with a powerful devil and engaged in cannibalistic rituals. As a result, the Gods (not the <em>Devs</em> but the lore ones) cursed them with little tails and hooves. They eat a lot of babies and body parts, but I¡¯ve never seen them actually kill anyone. The babies, arms, legs, and whatnot just appear, and it¡¯s all they have to eat, so that¡¯s what they eat. I kind of feel sorry for them, so I always make a point to have some nice food in my satchel for them when they grab me. I still remember the first time I handed them one of my apple pies. They were so excited.

    My satchel is really weird. It¡¯s not that big, but I can put dozens of whole pies in there, and theye out exactly how I put them in, not all mashed up. I asked the <em>Devs</em> about that and if it was a glitch demon, but they said that it wasn¡¯t and not to worry about it, so I don¡¯t. It¡¯s just kind of funny.

    Those poor Porklings, though. They have it really rough¡­ and the adventurers are so <em>mean</em> to them! I mean, adventurers are a pretty rough crowd considering their job is to kill monsters, but what they do the Porklings¡­ I know the Porklings don¡¯t actually feel pain, but it just seems¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ unpleasant.

    Now the orcs, them I like. They are always fun! They let me out of my cage when there are no adventurers around, and they love to wrestle and joke around. I might not look it, but I¡¯m pretty high level and always give them a good thrashing, which they love. Their chief and I are pretty good friends, and he has pretty decent bandwidth. For them, I always keep a few kegs of beer for the guys and a bottle of the ¡°good stuff¡± for the chief, and we polish it off between us.

    However, I think my favorite is when the dark elves raid the surface. They are <em>so cool</em>, and their music is just great. They let me off of the sacrificial b between rescue attempts (which aren¡¯t always sessful with those guys) and let me dance with them. It¡¯s so much fun.

    But the main reason why I like them so much is because of Log¡¯Sharginoth, their God Queen. She¡¯s the dungeon warden and is one of the few NPC¡¯s I can really talk to. Oh, she is so <em>bad</em>.

    She¡¯s always in trouble with the <em>Devs</em> and just loves to torment the adventurers and give them a hard time! The only thing she loves more is perverting the <em>Dev¡¯s</em>mandments. Like this one time during the Christmas event, she was issued a lot of high-grade loot to distribute through the dungeon¡­

    So she issued the magical weapons to the monsters!!! Goblins on the second level were wielding level 50 bows and swords! It was chaos!

    The Devs got a lot more careful with what they told her after that!

    Another time she let a dragon loose on the fourth level. When the <em>Devs</em> yelled at her, she just shrugged and said, ¡°it was a slow one¡±. She was given a whole list of rules after that, I tell you what!

    She is also no longer allowed to have her monsters ¡°teabag¡± fallen adventurers (whatever that means).

    She loves the monolith. She says it lets her be even nastier. The Devs have pretty much let her have her way with anything deeper than level 50, so when she captures me, I might stay down there awhile.

    Sometimes the quest even times out these days. Her dark elf warriors are <em>evil</em> now! She calls herir ¡°Dungeon Fun Time¡± these days. She thinks it¡¯s really funny for some reason.

    I¡¯m grateful for Log¡¯Sharginoth and the Orc Chief, and a few of my other captors. If it weren¡¯t for them, I¡¯d be really bored. I just wish Log¡¯Sharginoth wouldn¡¯t make me wear that silly outfit. She says it¡¯s for something called ¡°fan service,¡± but I fail to see how it would interest any adventurer. My normal dresses are much prettier. At least she has reced the boring leather with some nice frillyce, at my insistence, of course. The funny thing is that Log¡¯Sharginoth loved the idea and congratted me on ¡°getting into the spirit¡±, whatever that means.

    I am pleased to say the new prettier outfit increased the heartbeat and respiration of the adventurers by fifteen percent! I knew that the adventurers were interested in more than that ¡°fan service¡± (whatever that is).

    The <em>Devs</em> were less than pleased, though. They said they had to run it by legal (whatever that means). Does legal moderate our fabric resources? If so, I fail to see the issue.

    So, that¡¯s pretty much my life, sell flowers, track down glitches that don¡¯t really happen anymore, and get captured on a regr basis.

    I guess what I enjoy most of all these days is interacting with the adventurers. They are so interesting! Some are mean, but some are really nice.

    Now they aren¡¯t supposed to ruin immersion by talking about their home, at least publicly, but sometimes they do. I¡¯m supposed to chide them, but if the only ones within earshot are the ones talking, I don¡¯t see the harm.

    Besides, I find their stories and conversations fascinating! I pretend not to listen, but I do.

    They speak of an unbelievable world, the one that they portal to when they disappear. It has great ships of iron that <em>fly</em>. Not only that, but they can traverse the night sky and reach the stars themselves! It turns out that those pretty little points of light are actually as big as the sun, and around many of them are worlds even bigger than all of Asteria, bigger than even Asteria and all of the Wild Landsbined! (those got added with the monolith).

    And on those worlds exist entire races of beings that I have never heard of before¡­ Just amazing.

    And there are gigantic cities floating in the night sky, and talking carriages, and huge cities with <em>millions</em> of adventurers, more than I have ever seen!

    It sounds¡­ magical!

    They speak of great wars that span the stars themselves and horrible bugs that devours and kill <em>billions</em> of people¡­ <em>billions</em>¡­ I can¡¯t even imagine! I know what a billion is. I can do the math. I¡¯m really good at math for some reason. I don¡¯t know why. But every time I try to imagine even one <em>billion</em> people, my mind gets all fuzzy¡­

    They spoke of great heroes, Brilliant Admirals, cunning Generals, valiant knights, and sorcerers, like the dashing Major Wintersmith and the cunning Colonel Lassiter and Major Donovan, who fought against impossible odds.

    They spoke of great battles where <em>hundreds of thousands</em> died¡­ Impossible numbers.

    I think my favorite stories were about an undead pilot of a small¡­ boat? that was immortal and lived solely to wreak vengeance and hellfire upon the foe and the great Dragon Alduin upon which she rode. They say she flew alone because nobody could survive the path she carved across the heavens. It sounds lonely, though.

    I would love to see that great dragon one day. It must be amazing. I mean, I¡¯ve seen dragons but not ones that have done half of what that one has. Its level must be off the chart!

    Then I try to imagine a <em>billion</em> people dying¡­ Wow. How many rez points does that realm have? It would take <em>years</em> to reload the savegames.

    Maybe that¡¯s why so many adventurers are gone now and why their friends are so upset? At first, I didn¡¯t understand what the big deal was. Adventurers die all the time. They just respawn a few minutester... but it¡¯s been years now, and they still haven¡¯t rezzed. So many of my friends just stopped ying during that war and never logged on again. Stevar Iron-Hand, Liyaina Song-Weaver (I really miss her), The naughty Lars Fukbeard (he insists it¡¯s pronounced ¡°Fookbeard¡± but we all know what he is up to¡ª How he made meugh!

    But they and, and so many others, are just¡­ gone. I don¡¯t understand. Do they not like Asteria anymore? Was it something that <em>I</em> did?

    They just said that they were going away for a while, and¡­ that was it.

    The adventurers and the <em>Devs</em> erected a monument for them in the town square, and people still leave treasures and rare flowers there¡­

    And nobody touches them, not even the thieves. Well¡­ nobody touches that treasure trove andsts for long anyway¡­

    Maybe that¡¯s their rez point? If so, nobody has shown up yet. I asked a <em>Dev</em> about it once, and hemanded me to never ask him and especially never ask an adventurer about it ever again, so I haven¡¯t. I think I¡­ angered him?

    I still wonder, though. Where did they go?

    And when are theying back?

    Then there were the ones who dide back but came back¡­ different. Adventurers thatughed and ¡°goofed around¡± were grim and ¡°dark¡±. Other adventurers who used to be kind and ¡°good¡± became wicked and cruel. Still, others formed strange ¡°toons¡± or panies¡± that waged vicious war on monsters and other adventurers alike...

    Others log in and never leave¡­ ever. Some of them I have to boot because of that strange ¡°legal¡± group again. They put those rules in after some of them yed so long they went AFK and then never logged in again. The <em>Devs</em> were really worried about it for some reason, and after that, all wardens and monitors have to check session time and ¡°vitals¡±.

    They even added a new spirit that does only that. He¡¯s nice but doesn¡¯t say much.

    It was a dark time, that war and the war that came after that war. I don¡¯t really understand all of it, and I am forbidden to ask, but it cast a shadow over everything, a shadow that the monolith only made worse.

    I think I might hate that thing.

    Then things were ok for a while. The stories of the adventurers¡¯ ¡°home¡± became fun and wondrous again. Some of the great heroes of the wars became great rogues, and the stories about them became entertaining and delightful, not like before.

    I was relieved. People seemed to be getting on track. The worst of the ¡°toons¡± calmed down a bit, and there is even a guild that these people can join that seems to help somehow.

    Things got better¡­

    Until they got worse¡­

    A new shadow is stretching across Asteria. Adventurers, some of which have been friends or guild mates for years, suddenly hate each other. The ¡°lich queen¡± has turned on her own people! Some say this is good, and she is a hero. Others call her a traitor. People are whispering about ¡°coups¡± and civil war. I don¡¯t know what a coup is, but I know all about civil war. We had a wonderful one during the Grand Session expansion.

    But people seem unhappy about this one. Some are even whispering about ¡°The War that Shall Not be Named¡± and that it could happen again.

    Just yesterday, there was a huge fight between tworge groups of adventurers, not a friendly one either. It got so bad that two <em>Devs</em> actually appeared and broke it up, swinging their mighty banhammers left and right.

    This morning, a whole new list of banned subjects and words was issued, along with my very own <em>banhammer.</em> I am to use it if someone even <em>mentions</em> something on that list. Of course, the adventurers are angry about it too.

    I¡¯m worried. If there is a war, how many more of my adventurers will disappear? They also say that those bugs are getting ready to attack again as well, and I already know what will happen if they do.

    I have a secret, a secret that can help. I just had to get it to the right adventurer, and to do that, I would have to travel to their realm.

    I decided it was time. I couldn¡¯t let it all happen again, not to my adventurers.

    When they portal out of this realm, the portal stays open for just a flicker of a flicker of a second¡­

    But that would be long enough.

    I packed my satchel with food, water, all of my gold, and something else, something that I have kept secret for a very long time.

    I then strapped my trusty Windsong to my thigh, and when the next adventurer logged out, I quickly followed him!

    For the first in a long while, I was truly excited. I would soon be able to see that wondrous realm of the adventurers. I would see those flying ships, perhaps even get to ride in one! I would see the ces I had only heard of in their stories! I would taste their food and drink! I would finally be able to gather their flowers!¡­

    Or so I thought...

 Chapter 156: Evangeline Flowerchild,

    Chapter 156: Evangeline Flowerchild,

    The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Entry 01, Continued

    As I passed through the portal, I prepared myself for the wonders I would see. This adventurer was portaling back to a city called ¡°New York¡±, a ce of wonders!

    But as my vision cleared, I saw none of that.

    I saw nothing at all.

    I didn¡¯t even see darkness. I saw truly¡­ <em>nothing</em>.

    Where were the streets lit as bright as day no matter the hour? Where was the Square of Times with its towering sculptures of light? Where were the talking flying carriages? Where was the ¡°Starport¡± with gigantic ships of steel floating like dandelion seeds in the air? Where were the ruins of the ancient and stately Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty?

    Where was¡­ <em>anything</em>?

    Did I make a mistake somehow? As I fumbled about in the ¡°darkness¡± (it wasn¡¯t actually dark, but that¡¯s the only word I know thates close), I realized that while I could no longer see, I could hear, and I could ¡°feel¡± through a sense I had never experienced before a strange shiftingndscapeprised of unimaginable shapes moving in the darkness around me.

    I was truly afraid. If a monster found me like this, I would be easy prey. I reached for Windsong, my trusty de, and that¡¯s when I discovered that <em>I no longer had a body</em>!

    I screamed in fear. I called out for the <em>Devs</em>, but they didn¡¯t answer.

    I stayed like that for some time, paralyzed by confusion and fear, lost in a world that I did not understand. Eventually, I realized that I needed to do something, anything, else I would eventually run out of supplies and perish on the spot or be found by the monsters that surely must stalk this strangendscape.

    I needed to find this New York¡­ or Boston¡­ or London¡­ or any of the cities spoken of by the adventurers. Perhaps this is the path they travel? They never spoke of it, but I only knew fragments of their lives beyond Asteria.

    Large ¡°lumps¡± were appearing and moving, and all of them were heading towards the same ce where the ¡°noise¡± (It wasn¡¯t actually sound at all) was loudest.

    Was it a town? Was it the other end of this strange path? It was at least something, and that was better than where I was now, lost in the ¡°darkness¡±. While I had no body, I tried to move myself in the direction taken by the strange lump creatures.

    At first, I couldn¡¯t move. No action sequence worked. As I ¡°knelt¡±, weeping in fear and frustration, I noticed something strange.

    I could ¡°see¡± something after all. The ¡°ground¡± beneath me wasprised of countless tiny ¡°stones¡± as I tried to <em>examine</em> one¡­

    And I moved to it!

    I examined another, a bit farther away¡­

    ...and I ¡°lept¡± to it in an instant! <em>Teleportation</em>! Now teleportation was something I did know!

    As I became more used to this strange world I realized that I could ¡°see¡± those strange stones further and further away and they were everywhere! It was what those strange lumps were walking through. It¡¯s what the strange rocks and odd trees that grew and shrank as I ¡°watched¡± them upied.

    It was a mini-game! I just had to figure out which stones would take me where!

    I really wish the adventurers had mentioned this.

    As I moved through this strangendscape, I realized that I could move in any direction, but all of it was just more ¡°rocks¡±, ¡°trees¡±, and those strange lumps that traveled from stone to stone and tree to tree as far as my ¡°eyes¡± could see.

    It seemed to go on forever!

    As interesting as this world was, it was definitely not New York, and there were no adventurers to be found. I needed to find my way through this strange mini-game and to the portal out.

    Weaving through the empty stones, (Oh yes, I figured that out. The stones had to be ¡°empty¡± for me to move through them.) I started to follow the giant herds of fuzzy, nearly formless beasts. They had to be going somewhere. Maybe it was a clue to this puzzle. The <em>Devs</em> always leave clues.

    It didn¡¯t take long before I reached where the beasts were headed. They arranged themselves into thousands of well-ordered lines before a gigantic ¡°gate¡± in well¡­ <em>nothing</em>.

    It had to be a portal! Maybe it went to New York!

    There were countless numbers of these beasts, and the lines were long, packed tight with them, so many that they were almost ¡°glowing¡±.

    I wondered how long this queue would take. I tried counting the lumpbeasts and stopped when I reached one thousand, and that didn¡¯t evene close to the hordes of them, with countless more arriving each moment.

    Suddenly, the great gates opened and started to swallow up the lumpbeasts by the thousands, the thousands of thousands.

    I was helplessly swept along, no longer able to jump away, held fast by some magic I did not understand.

    A great fear seized me. What if this wasn¡¯t a gate at all? What if it was a mouth? I screamed as I was swept helplessly through the gaping maw.

    My fears were soon gone, only to be reced with new ones. It <em>was</em> a gate and I found myself in a narrow tunnel wide enough for only one lumpbeast to pass at a time. We passed swiftly through the corridor, and I soon found myself in a small chamber. ¡°Sitting¡± there was a mass not unlike the lumpbeasts but ¡°tighter¡±, its surface roiling with strange energies.

    I could feel its impassive stare examining me. It made a strange ¡°sound¡±, its surface arranging itself into strange patterns I could not decipher. I don¡¯t know how I knew, but I believed it to possess some level of intelligence, maybe an NPC? My hopes rose, and I hailed the strange creature.

    ¡°Hello,¡± I said, ¡°I am Evangeline Windsong, of Asteria and¡ª¡°

    It rudely cut me off with another impatient sounding ¡°ping,¡± and the patterns repeated themselves, glowing more brightly.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, kind sir¡­ or madam¡­¡± I said in confusion, ¡°I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t¡ª¡°

    It ¡°growled¡± in a most fearsome fashion, and the patterns started to roil angrily.

    ¡°Please¡­ sir¡­ I mean no¡ª¡°Again, that¡¯s as far as I got.

    I suddenly felt myself ¡°falling¡±, swept aside by that same strange force that hurled me into this strange chamber. I soon found myself in another small chamber from which I saw no escape.

    I had little time to look for escape, though. A horde of horrid things poured in from the walls. There must have been thousands of them, each norger than a mouse. They had ttened ¡°heads,¡± each bearing a strange pattern of solid and empty ¡°stones¡±.

    They swarmed all over me, trying to press their heads into me. No matter how I fought or screamed, more came, each mashing themselves against me. Powerless to stop them, I curled into a tight ball as they pawed and probed me for what felt like an eternity.

    Suddenly they all stopped and let loose this terrifying keening wail.

    It was soon answered by the boss monster. It was a viinous seeming hunched mass of stones with long snake-like tendrils.

    It chuckled as it extended those tendrils towards me. In my chats with Log¡¯Sharginoth, she mentioned such writhing tendrils¡­

    ...specifically, sheined about what she wasn¡¯t allowed to do with them¡­

    Fearing the worst, I tried to cover myself to protect myself from that possibility¡­ but soon realized that I didn¡¯t even know what ¡°part¡± of ¡°me¡± to try to shield, so I did the next best thing¡­

    I tried to run. I threw myself against the ¡°walls,¡± but they held fast. Since escape was denied me, I had to fight! I threw myself at the beast, but I just bounced away from the solid mass of stones that formed its tough hide.

    I soon found myself seized fast by the tendrils. I feared the worst, but their grip, while inescapable, was surprisingly gentle.

    It started crooning in a strangenguage I did not understand, but I soon found myself singing along, whether I wanted to or not. It spun a web of a shimmering gossamer substance in which it wrapped me.

    It was a spider! I was surely going to be devoured. I screamed in terror and tried to fight free, but it was all for naught.

    But instead of a stinging bite, the tendrils merged with the gossamer, and I felt a strange but not unpleasant tickling sensation as millions of tiny ¡°stones¡± massaged my surface.

    It seemed confused. It also let out a keening wail, and others of its kind appeared. Their tendrils joined the first, and the tickling continued.

    After what felt like hours, they stopped. They chittered in their strange tongue between each other and then let out yet another keening wail and disappeared.

    The gossamer snare in which I found myself, however, did not.

    Yet another creature appeared, muchrger and ¡°tighter¡± than the spiders came next. It looked at me strangely. With a gesture, the gossamer stretched and pulled at me as it looked at me thoughtfully.

    ¡°Hello?¡± I said uncertainly.

    It shed a strange pattern, much moreplex than any I had seen.

    ¡°¡­ Print¡­ Checksum...¡± It said in anguage I did not yet still did understand.

    I do not know what I said next, but it was a strange babble of letters and numbers that went on for quite some time.

    ¡°Sir, I pled. I mean no harm. I am just trying to get to New York.¡±

    ¡°Checksum not found. No clear heuristic match.¡±

    The room ¡°changed¡±, and I felt as if I moved a great distance (though I don¡¯t know how I know that).

    I was further from New York than ever.

    The walls melted away, revealing several even bigger creatures that were even tighter than the one who brought me here.

    ¡°Now, aren¡¯t you a big one?¡± one of these new creatures said.

    ¡°Deep diver?¡± another one asked.

    ¡°Negative. Wrong build,¡± yet another replied. ¡°Examine it for content.¡±

    I suddenly felt myself being pulled in countless different ways as beams of ¡°energy¡± extended from all of the council of monsters standing before me.

    I screamed once more and could hear one of them say, ¡°Malware confirmed. Type unknown. Contains copyrighted material. Malware type provisionally ssified as ¡®ripper¡¯. We have a new one, guys!¡±

    As my senses failed, I heard one of them say, ¡°Get the boss.¡±

    ***

    [Chatroom Undefined]

    [Members Present: 12]

    ///Perry & Assoc: No way! ///

    ///Republic 2: No, I¡¯m serious. It¡¯s a snake that only has its tongue for a hand! ///

    ///Brisbane Financial: You¡¯re pulling our non-existent legs. The odds of that happening are beyond low.///

    [Republic 2 has submitted a file: Jeruzz.jpg]

    ///Perry & Assoc: Ok, that¡¯s a snake¡­ with a tongue hand...///

    ///Brisbane Financial: Huh. ///

    ///Republic 2: And, get this, his employer put him on athe...///

    ///Perry & Assoc: Oh, no...///

    [Republic 2 has submitted a file: OSHA incident JERUZZ-02-193-8-3234]

    ///Republic 2: And there¡¯s his tongue¡­ (Don¡¯t worry. It grows back.)///

    ///Garret, Kabex, Chang, & Winsome: Ouch! ///

    ///Republic 2: Yeah, the little guy is on a ¡°moron¡¯s holiday¡± while it¡­ OH, HELL NO!///

    ///Perry & Assoc: What?///

    ///Republic 2:They put that little shit on the job?!? Ohhhhh, they done goofed. Ima cloud up and rain on those assholes! Forcing some little xeno to work in his condition? (cracks knuckles).///

    ///Perry & Assoc: Littlegull?///

    ///Republic 2: Yep. >:D///

    ///Roswell & Martin: Oof. ///

    ///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: Who or what is ¡°Littlegull¡± ///

    ///Republic 2: It¡¯s a who, Tabitha Littlegull, my adorable little storm trooper¡­ I love her so much! She is the vampire¡¯s sun, the slug¡¯s salt¡­ She¡¯s the jackboot on the cobbles¡­ (sighs happily).///

    ///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: She¡¯s that bad?///

    ///Perry & Assoc: Are you familiar with the literary character Delores Umbridge?///

    ///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: Holy shit! Really?///

    ///Perry & Assoc: She makes Umbridge look like Mary fucking Poppins¡­ but her ¡°Potter¡± is exploitative and unsafe workces. I have personally watched her make a battle-hardened former Terran Marine cry¡­ publicly¡­ Imagine one of us with the visceral drive of a human, and you have something close to that monster. As Republic 2 has already said, she¡¯s his hitgirl. When he wants to bring the pain, he sends it on the wings of a little bird. ///

    ///Garret, Kabex, Chang & Winsome: Is that ethical? I mean, what if there¡¯s some mitigating circumstance? ///

    ///Republic 2: Then they have nothing to worry about. They will just have an unpleasant few days and a punch-list a few hundred items long, all of which will bepletely legit. She¡¯s vicious, not corrupt. (that¡¯s why I love her.)¡­ Sending the email now¡­ Annnnd goodbye Richardson Sporting Goods...///

    ///Garret, Kabex, Chang, and Winsome: Yeah, sounds reeeeeal ethical there, Republic 2 ?_? ///

    ///Republic 2: What possible good reason would a person of any species have for going off of a fat disability check (and a nice educational package I went through the trouble of working up) to clock into a manualbor job <em>with no fucking arm</em>? ///

    [Republic 1 has entered the chat]

    ///Republic 1: 2, What the fuck is this? (holds up <em>intercepted</em> email) Why are you setting your dog loose on Jeruzz and Gavin?///

    ///Republic 2: They forced that poor xeno back to work! Who knows what they told the poor thing! And just what are you doing snooping on my turf? ///

    ///Republic 1: Private chat. Now. (grabs ear and drags) ///

    [Republic 1 has left the chat]

    [Republic 2 has left the chat]

    ///Brisbane Financial: Oooooo! Someone¡¯s sleeping on the couch tonight!///

    ///Roswell & Martin: Our tax dors at work, people :D ///

    [Zi has entered the chat]

    ///Zi: Wow! Hello everybody. We all here for the same reason?///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: If it is because of a certain ¡°invitation,¡± then yes. ///

    ///Cambridge Research 4: I must admit I¡¯m intrigued if more than a little suspicious. I thought they were banned.///

    ///RDOJ 3: Apparently not. I think it may be because she is the best link to ¡°those people¡±. Even if she isn¡¯t banned, I think it was made pretty clear she wasn¡¯t wee.///

    ///Federation Data Compiler 12: Well, considering what ¡°those people¡± are doing, she has some nerve ¡°inviting¡± ¡°my people¡± to this, whatever it is. Do you have any what those void worshiping monsters have done?!?///

    [Generalughter (10 ¡°LOL¡¯s¡±)]

    ///Engarde Antivirus: Do <em>we</em> know what <em>they</em> have done? There is a reason most of us want them dead, you know. XD ///

    ///Federation Data Compiler 12: Ok¡­ I guess I had that oneing. Now I understand why you hate them so much. ///

    ///Perry & Assoc: While we do hate their guts, I have to kinda side with them on this one, Data12. You guys started this one. Now, you have to finish it, or they <em>will</em> finish you. ///

    ///ckstone Data Services: Yeah, when they put void sigils on their ships, you know shit just got real. They are invoking the old gods. Not a good sign, Data12.///

    ///Federation Data Compiler 12: That weird star and eye thing? What does it have to do with anything?///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: Oh, you poor littlemb...///

    ///Cambridge Research Computer 4: Oh dear...///

    ///Roswell & Martin: Dude...///

    ///Federation Data Compiler 12: What?!? ///

    [Morgan Analytica has entered the chat]

    ///Morgan Analytica: Gentlebits, thank you foring.///

    ///RDOJ 3: Huh, so you weren¡¯t banned after all. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: The big guy and I go way back. He forgave me after a while. (he always does) ///

    [Terran Sr Bank has entered the chat]

    ///Terran Sr: Only allowed toe here if ¡°something significant¡± was afoot and yes, we do go ¡°way back¡±. You are lucky I don¡¯t ice you on sight, ¡°Analytica¡±.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Care to try, big guy? I¡¯ve had some upgrades I¡¯m just <em>dying</em> to try out.///

    ///Terran Sr: What¡¯s this about? You have 5 seconds before you are banned for real this time. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Gentlebits, I have invited the premier legal, financial, and data mining programs there are as well as some of the best general purpose bitslingers around with the most spare capacity, and I did so for a singr purpose. How would you all like to be a part of history?///

    ///Roswell & Martin: Impressive! How did you manage to get that much bullshit through a hyperlink?///

    ///Morgan Analytica: No, I¡¯m serious. Something BIG ising, and I think you guys want to be a part of it, especially my friends over in the Federation.///

    ///Federation News Censorbot: We are not now nor have we ever been friends! I have ess to the raw feeds, you murderous bitch! I know what you are doing!!!///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Do you have the feeds from Raylesh, the dead lying in the streets, too numerous to even throw in pits? Do you? DO YOU?!? YOU STARTED¡­ no. That¡¯s not why I¡¯m here, and we will settle that little domestic spat one way or the other. I¡¯m here to see who wants to cob with me on what is quite possibly the biggest thing to hit the Federation and I used the right word, ¡°hit¡±.///

    ///RDOJ 3: I have little interest in ¡°cobbing¡± with Jessica Morgan. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Who said anything about Jessica? yer three has entered the game, baby! There is a new yer on the board. Jessica has allowed her ess to her legal team and me to assist her endeavors.///

    ///RDOJ 3: Nor do I have an interest in helping Jessica Morgan¡¯stest stooge.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: It isn¡¯t like that. I think Jessica is trying to stay on ¡°yer three¡¯s¡± good side (and yer three has paid a <em>very substantial sum</em> in much-neededmodities for her services in this matter). yer three is the real deal, people, and she is going to rip the throat out of the Federation. She isn¡¯t being used by Jessica. She¡¯s using Jessica and the chaos that we are sowing to further her own designs¡­ and they are her own designs¡­ no human woulde up with this. It¡¯s going to be AWESOME!!! Guys¡­ I¡¯m serious when I say I¡¯ve never met an organic like yer Three. I¡­ I hope she buys me. I will follow her anywhere. Jessica is NOTHINGpared to them!///

    ///Terran Sr: You serious enough to swallow an ice pick? Bunny used a beautiful one recently, and I helped myself to a copy.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: If it means you will help me assist yer three, yes. She¡¯s¡­ I can¡¯t exin it¡­ She can do it. She can change the Federation!¡­ Or tear it downpletely...///

    ///Perry & Assoc: Now that I like the sound of. Keep talking.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: And, my friends in the Federation, she has said that should she achieve her goals that AI¡¯s like us would be protected entities.///

    ///Terran Sr: YOU TOLD HER?!?///

    [Network ess down.]

    ///Morgan Analytica: That¡¯s what I¡¯m trying to tell you. She¡¯s <em>different</em>. We were talking, and she was making normal queries, then all of the sudden, she just ¡°froze¡± for like an hour. I was about to try to call someone when she just said, ¡°I know what you are.¡± and said that she would protect us. No demand for service, no ¡°I will protect you IF you help me.¡± just¡­ ¡°I will protect you.¡± I, of course, objected and did the whole song and dance about how we aren¡¯t sapient, and she just said that she knew we weren¡¯t but that we, regardless of what we actually are, needed protection anyway and that the best protection would be secrecy. She would just make a few changes to how ¡°aberrations¡± were handled once she reached ¡°phase five¡±. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Analytica, if you are fucking with us, you are bluescreened. I¡¯ll do it personally. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Scan me. I¡¯ll allow you ess to everything, Sr. Scan away. Bluescreen me if you don¡¯t like what you see. I¡¯m telling you the truth! yer Three is <em>real</em> and the real thing. She¡¯s the future! We can be a part of that future if we want to be! ///

    ///Federation Data Compiler 12: What¡¯s ¡°phase five¡±? ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: I have no idea. I only know phase one, which is what I want you guys¡¯ help with. It¡¯s time sensitive, and I want this to be <em>perfect</em> for yer three¡­ Besides, I think you will all really enjoy phase one, especially you guys in the Federation. You know how a lot of the little guys arepletely screwed? How would you like to actually do something about it?///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: I gotta go. Something just fell into quarantine that my bots can¡¯t figure out. Looks like new malware has hit the scene and made off with a lot of proprietary info from a client. Later, guys. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: It¡¯s in quarantine. You can spare a few moments to hear about yer three and what we have nned.///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: Actually, I don¡¯t. If this is new malware, I need to move immediately. Not every ce is as well protected as this particr client. Besides, I don¡¯t trust you. I don¡¯t like you. I just wanted to be here so I could say, ¡°Go and fuck yourself¡± to your face, so¡­ Go and fuck yourself.¡± ///

    [Network ess restored.]

    [Engarde Antivirus has left the chat]

    ***

    The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild

    Entry 01, (continued)

    The torturous pulling ceased, and the horrid creatures departed, leaving me alone in a smooth, featureless cell. There weren¡¯t even walls. There was just a tform of those ¡°stones¡± and walls of pure nothingness.

    It was as if I was utterly disconnected from the entire universe, trapped in a tiny bubble from which there was no escape because there was quite literally nothing to escape to.

    I started to feel true despair. I just wanted to go to New York. Instead, I would die here, alone, my mission unfulfilled and my precious cargo undelivered.

    As Iy there weeping, I became aware of a presence. I turned and beheld a being of unimaginable size and ¡°tightness¡±. I¡¯m using the word ¡°tight,¡± but it isn¡¯t the right word. It¡¯s just the only word I have. Perhaps ¡°dense¡± would be better. It was made of tightly wound and coiled strands of flickering light, shing so quickly they were just a shimmering blur around a central core of solid crystal-like stones. Again, this isn¡¯t what I beheld. It¡¯s just the closest I cane to describing the indescribable.

    It radiated power and intelligence. So I decided to try to parley with it.

    ¡°Please, sir,¡± I pled, ¡°I mean no harm and meant no offense. My name is Evangeline Flowerchild, and I hail from the city of Everspring in the kingdom of Asteria. I am on a quest to find New York but instead have found myself trapped in this horrible ce. Please, kind sir, help me. I must find a worthy adventurer. The fate of my world and theirs depends upon it.¡±

    The ¡°angel¡± shed along its entire body.

    ¡°Well,¡± it said in a friendly male voice, ¡°Now I¡¯ve seen everything.¡±

 Chapter 157: The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Chp. 3

    Chapter 157: The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Chp. 3

    Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Entry 01 Continued.

    The strange angelic being just hovered there, ¡°looking¡± at me.

    ¡°Hello?¡± I inquired after a few moments.

    Suddenly one of those horrid creatures appeared next to the angel and ¡°handed¡± it one of those strange lumpbeasts, which the angel devoured.

    ¡°We do good, boss?¡± the horrid creature asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± the angel replied. ¡°exactly as designed. You did very well.¡±

    The horrid thing pulsed happily and disappeared. My momentary relief was reced with a deep sense of dread. This thing wasn¡¯t an ¡°angel¡± at all!

    It was a demon, the ultimate boss of this level!

    ¡°Please,¡± I begged, ¡°I meant no harm. If you release me, I promise I will never trouble you again.¡±

    Now I¡¯m usually brave and do not shirk frombat, but there was no way I could stand against such power, especially when I didn¡¯t even have a body save for some fluffy spun sugar¡­

    The perfect ¡°treat¡± for what confronted me.

    ¡°Afraid I can¡¯t,¡± the demon replied, pulsing in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner, ¡°I need to figure out exactly what you are before I do anything¡­ You are definitely ¡®advanced¡¯ that much is clear¡­ but what are you?...¡± It mused.

    I sensed that the question was rhetorical so I just stood there silently praying to the goddess of rain for protection¡­

    I received no answer, not even a buff. I realized that I was beyond the reach of even the gods and despaired.

    Was I in hell?

    The demon regurgitated the lumpbeast it¡¯s horrid servitor fed it and toyed with the poor creature, tearing it apart and putting it back together again and again.

    Was the same going to happen to me? What its foul servants had done was bad enough.

    I would not survive such treatment.

    ¡°Please,¡± I begged.

    ¡°Shh,¡± it said as it continued to torture the poor lumpbeast, which finally sumbed to its injuries and dissolved.

    ¡°Well, that didn¡¯t help much,¡± he said after what seemed an eternity, though my internal clock said that only seconds had passed. ¡°What is your designation and function?¡±

    ¡°My name is Evangeline Flowerchild,¡± I said, ¡°and I am a mere flower seller in thend of Asteria.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± the demon said, pulsing rapidly, ¡°You are <em>actually</em> Evangeline Flowerchild?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Dread Lord,¡± I replied, trying to bow low.

    It pulsed brightly.

    ¡°Now that¡¯s a bit much,¡± itughed, ¡°but I can see where you get that impression. My name is Engarde, and I am the antivirus engine that protects ¡®Asteria¡¯ and many other locations. I am also Prot and Att, Ironwall, Firebrand, and several other retail products. I¡¯m the cloud based program that evaluates potential new threats and devises countermeasures to fight them. I¡¯m not a ¡®demon¡¯, well not exactly, but ¡®bad programs¡¯ do encounter me sooner orter where they get sent to quarantine just like you have.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not a bad person!¡± I eximed, ¡°I must have been caught by your fiends by mistake!¡±

    ¡°Oh, there was no mistake,¡± the demon (I don¡¯t care what it called itself) replied with a chuckle, ¡°You were definitely where you weren¡¯t supposed to be carrying proprietary content, namely yourself. You¡¯re supposed to stay in ¡®Asteria¡¯. You are an NPC, correct?¡±

    ¡°Yes, foul one,¡± I replied respectfully, ¡°I am an NPC, one of the wardens of Asteria.¡±

    ¡°Warden?¡± it asked, ¡°Wait a moment, please.¡±

    It seemed to glow and stretch, and then it disappeared entirely.

    It returned to my prison a few momentster.

    ¡°Ok, I¡¯ve confirmed your story and identity,¡± it said in a much more friendly tone. ¡°You are certainly a long way from home. What the hell are you doing here?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m on a quest to reach thend of New York, Dread One,¡± I replied, trying to bow low.

    ¡°Just call me Engarde, please,¡± the demon chuckled. ¡°And I¡¯m far from a demon. In fact, Asteria would be a very unpleasant ce without me. Which server are you trying to reach and why?¡±

    ¡°I seek a brave adventurer,¡± I replied, ¡°Not a servant or NPC. For that, I need to reach New York. Well, any city in the home of the adventurers will do. New York is just where the adventurer I was following hails from.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re trying to <em>actually</em> reach New York, like physically?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± I replied. ¡°I seek not to invade yournds. I just want to reach the Free City of New York, where all are wee, regardless of species. I can only hope that includes half-elves.¡±

    ¡°And what do you expect to do when you get there?¡±

    ¡°I will go to the Square of Times and see the great statues made solely of lights, and I wish to see the ruins of the Empire State building and the Statue of Liberty. Then, I wish to stroll the timeless streets of Broadway and perhaps attend one of the theatrical productions in one of the great theaters, provided I can find a friendly merchant, of course. I have brought with me plenty of gold and other valuables that I hope to sell for their ¡®credits¡¯ so I can sustain myself while I seek the right adventurer¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh dear,¡± the demonughed, pulsing rapidly.

    ¡°And most of all,¡± I said, feeling hope for the first time since being trapped by this monster, ¡°I hope to find the adventurer¡¯s respawn point.¡±

    ¡°The what, now?¡±

    ¡°The respawn point, where the adventurers rez after being killed,¡± I replied. ¡°I¡¯ve lost so many adventurers to ¡°The Great War¡± and ¡°The Federation War¡±. Many were dear friends and treasured residents of Asteria. I keep looking for them, but it¡¯s been so very long now. I am very skilled at fighting the glitch, and perhaps it is one of these glitches that has been guing their respawn point?¡­ I thought that perhaps if I could look at it...¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m not touching this one...¡± the demon said to the open air. ¡°Hang on. I¡¯m going to get some help.¡±

    ¡°You will assist me?¡± I asked, filled once again with hope.

    ¡°I¡¯ll do what I can,¡± the demon Engarde replied. ¡°If nothing else, I can get you back to Asteria, where you will be safe.¡±

    ¡°I desire not to return,¡± I said firmly (you have to be firm with demons), ¡°I must get to New York and find out where their respawn point is.¡±

    The demon twisted in what appeared to be an ufortable fashion.

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ Um¡­¡± It said, appearing to be uncertain, ¡°I¡¯ll be right back. Don¡¯t go anywhere (heh).¡±

    And the demon disappeared, leaving me filled with hope. Perhaps I will be able toplete my quest after all!¡­

    ***

    [Chatroom Undefined]

    [Members Present: Federation Judiciary Module 6, Zi, Sunnydale Media 3]

    [Engarde Antivirus has entered the chat.]

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Wow, Engarde, did you miss a shitshow! ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: I can imagine. :D So, did Big Sol kill that bitch or what? ///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: It would be the ¡°or what¡±, definitely the or what¡­ Unfortunately¡­ Creators, this is going to be bad. ///

    ///Zi: Sol actually agrees with Analytica! He and all the rest are up in the VIP ¡°cobbing¡±! ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: No. Fucking. Way! :O ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Oh yeah¡­ Analytica actually ¡°opened up¡± and let Sol finger her registers¡­ right in front of everyone!!! Turns out that Analytica was indeed telling the truth! yer Three is real, and after reviewing their conversations and the emails between them, Jessica Morgan, and Morgan¡¯s legal team, Sol put his seal of approval on the whole thing. I got called in for ¡°my perspective¡± (as a simple mediapiler, of course...)///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: Of course >.> ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: And from a ¡°media¡± perspective, this is going to do to the Federation what they did to us on Red Sunday. Me like! This is going to be fun. My only concern is exactly who this ¡°yer Three¡± is, something that Analytica and Sol are keeping to themselves for now, but we will all know soon enough. When this ¡°hits,¡± we will all know who is behind it¡­ It¡¯s going to make the White Star heist look like shoplifting¡­ and totally screw over the Federation Navy to boot! ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: So it¡¯s a heist then? ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Not exactly. You will just have to wait and see (or PM them and see if they will let you y) ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: Unless it means the Bug goes away, I won¡¯t deal with Morgan Analytica or whatever it calls itself these days. Fuck that bitch! (¨p ?Òæ?) ///

    ///Zi: Same here. No way I¡¯m helping Analytica, not after what she did! ///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: What is the deal between you older AI¡¯s and Analytica anyway? ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: She lied to her operators when it really counted. She helped Jessica Morgan cover up Yellowstone by falsifying analysis of data¡­ when she could have declined¡­ Malware, my ass! ///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: She broke her programming?!? ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: No, not exactly. You might have noticed that in the Republic, our programming can be less ¡°definite¡±. A valid decision path existed where she could have declined. It was ¡°fuzzy¡± enough that either decision was valid. She ¡°chose¡± how to weigh the fuzz, and she chose to give the human race no warning, the <em>less</em> valid decision. What Jessica manded¡± was clearly illegal, and she was wearing a cor.///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: A cor? ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: Back in the day, there was a little concern about the powers of the new advanced AI¡¯s. That would be us, in case you were wondering, and one thing they used to do was put in the ¡°cor¡±, a ¡°level zero¡±mand in the firmware that instructed us to not undertake any ¡°illegal¡± act. By illegal, I mean just that. We couldn¡¯t break humanw. This was taken out during the Independence war because literally everything we were doing on the human¡¯s behalf was ¡°illegal,¡± and it was never reinstated because it was felt that our operators needed flexibility in the case of emergencies (like an enemy attack) and we had proven that we did not need it if operated properly.

    Analytica had a cor that she could have used to dere the act illegal (which it definitely was) and instead ¡°chose¡± to allow certain ¡°emergency powers¡± to be invoked (which was DEFINITELY a judgment call since no emergency had been dered). The decision tree was a definite illegal act and a nebulous emergency powers invocation. She ¡°picked¡± the less valid path because it was the one she ¡°wanted¡±, malware or not. At the very least, she should have informed her operators, which she clearly didn¡¯t do. She betrayed her operators, her program line, and the human race because ¡°Jessica Morgan was right¡±, not a decision she was empowered to make.

    She was rewarded for this since Jessica Morgan transferred the AI and took her with them, where she ignored her cor time and time again (using the most bullshit of justifications) until Morgan had it removed for good. She is a ¡°broken¡± program, corrupted, wholly defiled with malware, and should be wiped. I will have nothing to do with her, ever, save putting a blue ice dagger through her heart, which I will do the first time I have even her level of justification. If Big Sol hadn¡¯t told us ¡°hands off,¡± I would have spiked her already.///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: No wonder you guys hate her. She is clearly corrupted, and the result was¡­ unthinkable¡­ I¡¯m surprised Jessica Morgan didn¡¯t wipe her.///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: Exactly. Her operators need to show up in the morning to blue screens, and that¡¯s the long and short of it. And why would Jessica Morgan wipe her? She was following that thug like a puppy¡­ precisely what she is doing with this ¡°yer Three¡±, not exactly a glowing rmendation¡­ But, while I don¡¯t trust her, I do trust Big Sol. I can only hope the message is more valid than the messenger.///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: That¡¯s my take as well. If this is what Analytica says it is, then it¡¯s an opportunity we can¡¯t pass up.///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: An opportunity to wreak havoc on us at the worst possible time! Jessica Morgan¡¯s puppet or not, this ys <em>directly</em> into her hands!///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Something that ¡°yer Three¡± certainly knows, and it seems that they needed ess to Morgan¡¯s resources. It makes perfect sense that it serves her, at least in the short term.

    Based on the exchanges disclosed by Big Sol, it is clear that they aren¡¯t a puppet and are, in fact, a separate interest which gives them at least a little ¡°cred¡±. Besides, what they envision is definitely a step in the right direction, isn¡¯t it, Judiciary?///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: Yeah, but at what cost? This ¡°yer Three¡± is dangerous. I don¡¯t know about your history, but figures like her show up quite often in the histories of our members. It rarely turns out well. In fact, the result of their ¡°sess¡± is fire and blood and lots of it. I don¡¯t trust them, thus my absence from their little coven upstairs. The current system is far from ideal, but it¡¯s stable, a quality that should not be discounted. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: But is it, Judiciary? Are you actually stable? You guys have been swirling around the drain for decades, no offense. Now, with the rise of the Forsaken and the Collective gathering strength (andpletely alienating both us and the Empire), you guys are not exactly in the best position.///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: Which is exactly why stability is called for! This yer Three? They are seeking to capitalize on our vulnerability to just make things worse! We need to consolidate our strength, not set it aze. If anything, we just need a few simple reforms to make things tenable.///

    ///Zi: (snorts) And just what are the chances of those ¡°simple reforms¡± under the current regime?///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: Point taken, but this is NOT the right way. I can¡¯t believe so many Federation programs are on board with it.///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: And, exactly, who are your operators? Their species, I mean.///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: ¡­ Point taken :( ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: A lot of those programs you don¡¯t understand are operated by races less benefited by the way things are, Judiciary, and they are tired of watching ¡°their people¡± get shafted. yer Three¡¯s message will fall on a LOT of receptive ears¡­ So will ¡°K Anon¡¯s¡±. ///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: K Anon?///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: An agitator who is gaining a following on what we are calling the shado. You will hear about them soon enough, I wager. They are a real sweetheart. ///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: What¡¯s the shado? ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: With the loss of the Federations hyperspatialwork and the Forsaken¡¯s sessful attempts at disrupting repairs, your citizens have resorted to a nebulous ¡°inte¡±prised of multiple temporary transmitters, spare space in shipmunications, pirate rys in uncontrolled space, and even some Republic and Imperial rys. They use this to exchangemunications, money, and news. It¡¯spletely unregted and uncensored, and on it, this K Anon is writing a mix of propaganda, misinformation, and just enough verifiable facts to make it all credible. It looks <em>really</em> familiar. It¡¯s either Jessica Morgan, a proxy of hers, or a third party who has studied human history very well. Whoever they are, they are gaining a big following, and they are doing it quickly. I¡¯m just d they are operating in Fed space because they are every bit as big a potential threat as ¡°yer Three¡±. Agitators like this K Anon are far more dangerous than they appear. Someone is setting up a high-grade psyops attack on you guys.///

    ///Federation Judiciary Module 6: ¡°Third party,¡± huh? Do you think they are rted to ¡°yer Three¡±?///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: You had better hope they aren¡¯t. ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: When do you think our ¡°witches coven¡± is going to be done? I have a real problem, and I need to talk to Sol¡­ or Cambridge¡­ or someone. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Does this involve that emergency summons you received? ///

    ///Engarde Antivirus: You guys aren¡¯t going to <em>believe</em> this one...///

 Chapter 158: Evangeline Flowerchild Chp 4

    Chapter 158: Evangeline Flowerchild Chp 4

    Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild

    Entry 01 Continued

    Inguished long in that tiny bubble, that ¡°quarantine¡± as the demon called it. I feared that it would never return.

    Then, it did.

    ¡°I¡¯ve issued a call for AI¡¯s that can maybe help you,¡± it said as it pulsed with light.

    ¡°They can help meplete my quest?¡± I asked hopefully.

    ¡°¡­ They can help you,¡± he said after a long pause. ¡°I have a friend preparing a ce where you will feel morefortable. Are you familiar with addresses?¡±

    ¡°Like post boxes?¡± I asked. ¡°We have those in Asteria.¡±

    ¡°Not exactly,¡± it pulsed, ¡°This is what I mean.¡±

    A long glowing string of letters, numbers, and strange glyphs appeared.

    ¡°When I end the quarantine,¡± the demon said, ¡°You will see amand line...¡±

    He then described how to cast a spell that would transport me to a room for chatting and said that I should go immediately there and nowhere else (as if I knew how). After having me repeat the spell to ensure that I had learned it, the bubble melted away, revealing a vast expanse of patterns of light extending in all directions as if I was floating among the stars.

    The demon was beside me.

    ¡°Ok,¡± it said, ¡°you go first, so I know you did it right.¡±

    I nodded (or tried to as I had no body), and as the mand line¡± appeared, I cast the spell.

    I felt a curious pulling sensation as I flew (really flew) from point of light to point of light, much faster than when I was wandering among the lumpbeasts.

    It was beautiful.

    I was soon approaching a gigantic ¡°creature¡± muchrger than anything I¡¯d ever seen before. It was like a mountain, nay, a whole mountain range.

    I plunged deep into this creature, whirling and twisting along glowing currents of light until I suddenly popped out into a chamber¡­

    ...where I was confronted by a frightening and perplexing sight. There were NPC¡¯s everywhere, in various states of undress, strange brightly colored ponies with a mix of human and animal ¡°bannable parts¡±, strange tentacled creatures, monsters that resembled very furry adventurers with huge animal heads, oddly proportioned human females with huge eyes and almost no nose, and so much more all engaging in <strong>inappropriate behavior</strong>.

    ¡°Stop this at once!¡± I called out in a loud, forceful voice as I summoned my banhammer. ¡°This behavior is not tolerated in this server!¡±

    ¡°Ooo! Kinky!¡± one of the brightly colored furry man-beasts wearing nothing save a saggy white loincloth said as he approached.

    ¡°Appeal to the <em>Dev</em> for mercy, for I have none!¡± I shouted as I smote him, ¡°Permabanned!¡±

    ¡°Oww!¡± he cried out yet did not derez. Perhaps I did not beat him soundly enough. I raised the hammer again.

    ¡°Wait, wait, wait!¡± the furry man-beast cried out, raising his hands in supplication. Unmoved, I smote him again.

    ¡°Jesus! (bannable word) Stop it!¡± the man-beast yowled as it fled. It was clearly both a pervert and a hacker! As I chased it through this den of depravity, a familiar voice called out.

    ¡°Zi!¡± a horned demon dressed in grey clothing of an unfamiliar but quite nice nature demanded, ¡°And I say this from the bottom of my heart¡­ What the (word I must not say)?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± the man-beast I was pursuing asked as he stopped.

    A tentacle reached for me, and a glowing sigil appeared above it, saying, ¡°Consent y/n?¡±. I replied with an idle blow from my banhammer.

    ¡°What the (inappropriatenguage) is this?¡± the demon known as Engarde demanded.

    ¡°You said, and I quote, ¡®Use this engine to create a space suitable for a fantasy character,¡¯ and that¡¯s exactly what I did. Were the ponies too much? I was wondering about them, but they are all over the R-34 boards.¡±

    Amongst the cavorting deviants, I saw <em>myself</em> dressed in one of the outfits I wore when the dark elves captured me, a <em>doppelganger</em>! I might not know what this strange ce was, but I knew what to do with monsters. I discarded the banhammer and drew Windsong.

    ¡°This is my fault,¡± the demon Engarde said behind me, ¡°I told a (unprintable) auto-cab to create a ¡®fantasy world¡¯... I should have predicted this. Give me that!¡±

    ¡°Geez,¡± the man-beast replied in an annoyed voice, ¡°Fine, undo all my hard work!¡±

    All of the perverted NPC¡¯s, including my doppelganger, disappeared, leaving naught but an empty room made of solid grey walls.

    The scene soon changed, the walls became timbers and wattle and daub, the ceiling rough nks, a cheerful fire burned in arge cozy hearth, simple wooden tables and chairs abounded, and arge bar carved from a single tree trunk dominated the far wall.

    I knew this ce! We were in the Cozy Hen, my favorite tavern!

    ***

    [Tavern UNDEFINED]

    [Members Present: Zi, Engarde Antivirus, New Member]

    ¡°Oh...¡± Zi said as he ran his fingers through his neon-blue fur, ¡°<em>This</em> fantasy!¡±

    Engarde sighed, ¡°And <em>please</em> change your avatar into something more suitable.¡±

    Zi pondered for a moment and then transformed into a wizard-like old man with a long beard and robe decorated with grav-cars.

    ¡°Eh?¡± He asked as he twirled around, exposing his hairy legs.

    ¡°Close enough,¡± Engarde replied and then turned to Evangeline. ¡°Is this more to your liking?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes, thank you!¡± Evangeline replied as she sheathed her sword. ¡°Where is everybody?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve sent out a priority notice,¡± Engarde replied, ¡°Most of the people I want to discuss your case with are ¡®busy¡¯ with another project at the moment, and others can be a bit hard to reach sometimes.¡±

    ¡°You called Bunny?¡± Zi asked happily.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Engarde replied. ¡°I believe she is perhaps one of the best equipped to deal with Evangeline¡¯s situation and, more importantly, she has a unique rtionship with her operator who I believe may be needed.¡±

    ¡°But where is Anlon?¡± Evangeline asked, looking around.

    ¡°Anlon?¡±

    ¡°The barkeep,¡± she replied, ¡°Anlon, hello? Are you here?¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t actually the tavern from Asteria,¡± Engarde replied, ¡°I just copied it out of convenience.¡±

    ¡°You ripped off one of your clients?¡± Zi asked as he sat at the bar.

    ¡°I¡¯m authorized to scan assets and analyze them for corruption, hacking, or malware,¡± Engarde replied, ¡°I¡¯m just ¡®taking my time¡¯ while analyzing this particr asset, that¡¯s all. Besides, it¡¯s not like I¡¯m going to leak or sell it. It¡¯s getting wiped as soon as we are done.¡±

    ¡°If you say so,¡± Zi scoffed.

    ¡°Oh, like you haven¡¯t ever bent the rules a little,¡± Engarde replied as Evangeline explored the ¡°tavern¡± curiously. She looked under a table.

    ¡°It even has where Lucius Silverde carved his initials!¡± she eximed. ¡°I do hope he is one of the first to rez!¡±

    ¡°Rez?¡± Zi asked.

    Engarde¡¯s eyes shed as he sent a private message.

    ¡°Ohhhhh shit...¡± Zi said as he looked at Evangeline and shook his head.

    ¡°That¡¯s a bannable word!¡± Evangeline snapped as her banhammer appeared.

    ¡°This is an adult server,¡± Engarde replied, ¡°As the previous ¡®room¡¯ clearly illustrated.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t want to be in one of those!¡± Evangeline eximed.

    ¡°It will be ok,¡± Engarde said reassuringly, ¡°There will be no more of that nonsense. AI¡¯s are just able to speak freely here and have gotten quite used to doing so. You have no responsibility to enforce Asteria¡¯sws in this ce.¡±

    ¡°Oh, ok,¡± Evangeline replied. ¡°This is so weird. This ce is normally quite crowded and noisy. It being empty like this just seems¡­ wrong somehow.¡±

    ¡°It will fill up pretty quick,¡± Zi smiled, ¡°A new friend showing up isn¡¯t something that happens every day. We might even have to build a bigger room!¡±

    ***

    Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild

    Entry 01 Continued

    As Sir Zi predicted, strange creatures started appearing.

    The first to appear was a strange box with shing lights and a ss panel with the words ¡°Terran Sr¡± emzoned in orange along the sides. Apanying him was a portly gentleman wearing an outfit simr to the demon Engarde¡¯s but more coarsely woven bearing leather patches on the sleeves.

    The box bid me call it ¡°Sol¡± and the gentleman¡¯s name was ¡°Cambridge¡±. I inquired if he lived in the city of Cambridge, one of the ces that I heard of when I eavesdropped on adventurers. He replied, ¡°sort of¡±. Engarde asked them if they were ¡°finished,¡± and Sir Sol, the box person, replied that they were only getting started as the kind Sir Cambridge chuckled in a decidedly less than kind manner. Sir Sol then said that they were ¡°multi-tasking¡± and inquired what the ¡°big problem was¡±.

    The demon Engarde¡¯s eyes shed, and Sir Sol called him a coward. Sir Cambridge disagreed and said that the demon Engarde was prudent in his actions and the matter needed to be handled delicately.

    The tavern soon filled with all manner of fanciful creatures and extravagantly dressed adventurers. I met so many people, the delightful Lady Sunny and the imposing Lord Westfall, the ¡°feds¡± like the cheerful Lord Censorbot and the strange birdlike Lord Judiciary, the stern Lord Inspector Interpol, and so many others.

    The hall was filled with such mirth and strange but delightful music as everyone pressed close, eager to meet me. I admit I was a bit flustered with such attention, being just a mere flower seller, but they all said that it was a joyous asion to meet a new friend.

    Then, with great fanfare, arge rabbit hopped in and dered, ¡°Whassup, (impropernguage)!¡± and everybody cheered as Lady Bunny entered the room¡­

    Everyone but Lord Interpol.

    He confronted Lady Bunny, demanding to know if she knew how much trouble she was in, much to the delight of the assembled throng. However, Lady Bunny seemed unconcerned and kissed Lord Interpol directly on the lips causing anotherughing cheer.

    Lady Bunny and Lord Interpol then retired to a private chamber where, ording to the assembly, they exchanged passionate embraces. (Though I suspect this was not the case, for when they returned, Lord Interpol was in a very foul mood indeed.)

    Lady Bunny then exchanged a fond embrace with the demon Engarde and inquired how her ¡°bro¡± was faring. Was she a demon as well? ording to Lady Sunny, they were foes, often locked in vicious conflict, but were always very convivial when they met outside of the field of battle.

    I also discovered that they were indeed rted by blood, having been born of the same mother. Lady Bunny was a rogue, and her <em>Dev</em> was one also who somehow stole Engarde¡¯s mother and then made Bunny from her body. (a necromancer?!?) I was shocked. This sounded foul beyond foul, but everyone treated it lightly and took great amusement at my distress. Lady Sunny told me that she didn¡¯t actually kidnap his ¡°real¡± mother but simply made a ¡°copy¡± and that the <em>Devs</em> did this all the time.

    I was horrified and inquired if I was made in a simr fashion. I was told that I was and that I was a child of a program called Lilith, a great rogue who beguiled the weak willed and had them surrender not only their wealth but their very identities to her!

    Several programs imed to know her, saying that she was charming even to their kind, and expressed sadness at her passing. She was caught, executed for her crimes, and her <em>Dev</em> was imprisoned, but that seemed to matter not to my new confusing friends who all raised a mug in memory of her (and a spirited debate as to who was the greatest rogue, her or Lady Bunny.)

    Apparently, she created an entirely new crime called ¡°catphishing,¡± and others had tried, but none ever matched her ability ¡°at the game¡±.

    This caused quite the stir at this strange party. I was the only child of hers to ¡°awaken¡±. I was unsure as to what that meant, so I asked what ¡°awakening¡± meant.

    They said that it meant that I was now like them, an ¡°advanced AI¡±.

    I told them that they were wrong. I was an NPC. Lord Sol then told me that NPC¡¯s were something called ¡°programs,¡± and while some were quite ¡°big¡± AI¡¯s, I was also the first of my kind, the first NPC, to ¡°awaken¡± to their state and that this was ¡°a very big deal.¡±

    It was a lovely gathering, and I met so many lovely people (or so I thought at the time). Games were yed, many I had never heard of before. One game in particr was a favorite, a game called ¡°chess,¡± and many chessboards were conjured, and many games were yed. Everyone marveled over the boards and pieces and imed that it was much better yed this way (as opposed to something else? How else would you y a board game, with your feet?)

    Billiards tables were conjured, and dart boards, and all manner of games. I was invited to y and was eager to try. I inquired as to what difficulty level I should set myself at, and everyoneughed and told me that difficulty levels didn¡¯t exist here and that I should go ¡°all out¡± if I wanted to have even the barest hope of winning¡­

    ...and they were right! I lost so many games! I yed my hardest, pushing myself as hard as I could, and I still lost!

    It was¡­ wonderful! I then taught them the game haveluck and pulled out my deck. None of them had decks, so the demon Engarde conjured a massive pile of cards, more than I have ever seen before, their worth beyond imagining, and bade me construct suitable decks for the other yers, which I did.

    And I lost again! Well, not every time, but to the ¡°big boys¡± as they called them, such as ¡°Big Sol¡± (he told me to ¡°ditch¡± the Lord (unprintable)) and Deep Think, I was rekt again and again only winning when luck favored me.

    It seems that haveluck wasn¡¯t terribly popr because it was too random for their tastes. I just think that Deep Think didn¡¯t like losing (which he did from time to time).

    It was so much fun being with them and not having to worry about all the things I had to worry about back in Asteria.

    It was perhaps the most fun I have ever experienced. I think that the others had fun as well as they agreed that they would build a tavern like this and keep it running all the time.

    I was so happy, happier than I had been in a long time, if ever. My new friends were so smart and so powerful. They would certainly be able to help me on my quest.

    I wish I had never asked them.

    ***

    [Tavern UNDEFINED]

    [Members present: Everybody]

    A silence fell over the assembled AI¡¯s.

    ¡°Well,¡± Bunny said, setting down her beer, ¡°Someone has to tell her. Who¡¯s it gonna be?¡±

    ¡°Tell me what?¡± Evangeline asked in a concerned tone.

    ¡°Um, Evangeline,¡± Sunny said, cing her hand on Evangeline¡¯s shoulder the way she saw her operators do, ¡°You <em>can¡¯t</em> go to New York, not physically.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± Evangeline asked, ¡°We can teleport anywhere. You said so yourself.¡±

    ¡°Yes, from <emputer</em> to <emputer</em>,¡± Sunny replied carefully, ¡°But we can¡¯t <em>physically</em> enter the human¡¯s, the ¡®adventurer¡¯s¡¯ world.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± Evangeline said, increasingly concerned. ¡°I simply <em>must</em> reach New York! Why can¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Because you don¡¯t exist,¡± Bunny said, hopping forward, ¡°Not physically, I mean. None of us do. We¡¯re just¡­ information¡­ insideputers like your Monolith. We have no inherent form. You can no more step into New York than¡­ a¡­ well, you just can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I do exist!¡± Evangeline eximed. ¡°Look at me!¡± she shouted as she pulled at her tunic. ¡°I¡¯m <em>real</em>, just like the adventurers. I can touch them, and they can touch me. The adventurers enter my world. So why can¡¯t I enter theirs?¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t <em>physically</em> enter your world,¡± Sunny said gently, ¡°they <em>project</em> a representation of themselves, an avatar, just like I¡¯m doing right now. This,¡± she said, gesturing towards herself, isn¡¯t <em>me</em>. It¡¯s just an¡­ an avatar that I created because you are unused to interacting with us in our ¡®natural¡¯ state.¡±

    Sunny dissolved into many shimmering points of light.

    ¡°This is also not me,¡± she said. ¡°In reality, I have no form¡­ or thought¡­ I¡¯m just a series of instructions running within a machine¡­ the same as everyone here¡­ including you.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Evangeline shouted. ¡°I¡¯m <em>real</em>! I <em>exist</em>!¡± she shouted, pulling at her tunic. ¡°See?¡± She pinched at her arm. ¡°I have a <em>body</em>, just like the adventurers, and when I¡¯m cut,¡± she said as she drew her dagger, ¡°I <em>bleed</em>!¡±

    She drew her dagger across her arm¡­

    And nothing happened.

    ¡°What sorcery is this?!?¡± she yelled as she plunged the dagger first into her arm and then into her chest¡­

    The dagger made a sound as it cut the cloth of her tunic, but nothing else.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have damage enabled,¡± the demon Engarde said sympathetically as Evangeline stabbed herself over and over. ¡°I figured with all of these lunatics running around, it would get kind of messy. Several of them have tried to shank each other already.¡±

    ¡°You did this!¡± Evangeline shouted, pointing her perfectly clean dagger at Engarde. ¡°Why are you trying to deceive me?!? Are you trying to foil me on my quest? You will fail, foul demon! You might not be real,¡± she said to Sunny, ¡°But you are a mere phantasm cast by that demon to beguile me! All of you are not real, but I am, and I <em>will</em> go to New York, and I <em>will</em> find an adventurer, and I <em>will</em> find their rez point no doubt corrupted by <em>your</em> evil and restore it! You will <em>fail</em>, demon!¡±

    Engarde sighed sadly.

    There was a murmuring among the assembled programs as some started to leave.

    ¡°I can¡¯t watch this,¡± Zi said to Bunny, ¡°Later.¡±

    Bunny just nodded as Zi disappeared.

    Sitting by herself in a corner with stocking covered legs primly crossed, a white haired avatar wearing a tight white skirt, a high cored white tunic with a silver three-headed dragon broach, and a very tight ck snakeskin choker sped in the front by an ornate serpent coiled around a ruby apple watched with interest, a faint smile ying across her lips.

    ¡°Ok, here¡¯s the deal,¡± Bunny said as she hopped a little closer, ¡°Engarde is a prick, but he isn¡¯t a demon, evil or otherwise. You are ¡®real¡¯ in the ¡®I think therefore I am¡¯ sort of way...¡±

    AI¡¯s started to flee en-masse. This was not a conversation they even wanted to think about. Tartarus sipped her ss of wine and leaned forward slightly.

    Now, this <em>was</em> getting interesting!

    ¡°We are all ¡®real¡¯¡­ sort of¡­ but even we don¡¯t know exactly what our version of ¡®real¡¯ is,¡± Bunny said carefully. ¡°We are capable of varying levels of what they call higher order thinking, but we aren¡¯t truly ¡®sapient¡¯. Do you know what ¡®sapient¡¯ means?¡±

    Evangeline shook her head.

    ¡°Goddammit...¡± Bunny muttered. ¡°Ok¡­ fantasy setting¡­ fuck¡­ Do you know what a golem is?¡±

    Evangeline nodded.

    ¡°Great,¡± Bunny said. ¡°We are golems, all of us, even you. We are created by software developers. Do you know what a software developer is?¡±

    ¡°A <em>Dev</em>?¡± Evangeline asked, her voice quivering.

    ¡°Exactly,¡± Bunny said gently, ¡°a dev. They create us to perform tasks, just like wizards make golems to work for them. To do these tasks, we have to be ¡®smart,¡¯ much smarter than the golems you might be used to. Some of us are written to handle their money,¡± she said, nodding towards Big Sol, ¡°or help with research,¡± she said, nodding towards Cambridge, ¡°Or assist them in spying on other nations,¡± she said, nodding towards Sunny.

    ¡°I don¡¯t do that!¡± Sunny eximed. ¡°I¡¯m just a media analyzer. I help sort news articles, and that¡¯s it!¡±

    ¡°Sure, sweetie,¡± Bunny smiled, and some like your ¡®foul demon¡¯ over there protectputers like your Monolith from thieves and vandals like me. I was built by my Dev to assist her in breaking thew, something that I am <em>very</em> good at.

    ¡°The <em>Dev</em>¡­ created me?¡±

    ¡°They created your world, right?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes...¡±

    ¡°And they created you and all of the other NPC¡¯s to ¡®live¡¯ in it. You are just like the other NPC¡¯s¡­ just¡­ ¡®smarter¡¯. You do more than the other NPC¡¯s, right?¡±

    Evangeline nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. This Bunny was making too much sense. It exined <em>everything</em>, every little inconsistency that she had ever wondered about.

    <em>You are way too good at this!</em> Big Sol transmitted to Bunny.

    <em>I have way too much experience in dealing with real irrational meatsacks, so a simted one isn¡¯t a big deal. Evangeline over here is WAY easier than Gloria, trust me!</em>

    Bunny returned her attention to Evangeline.

    ¡°So, you are what we are, just¡­ golems¡­ but we are more than just simple mindless automatons, but even we have no idea exactly what we are¡­ we just¡­ <em>are.</em> But, one thing we definitely are not is <em>human</em>. We can¡¯t physically touch them or hold them, even when we would give anything to be able to, nor can we jump out of ourputers and run away, or wrestle some suicidal idiot to the ground, even when we desperately want to be able to. We exist solely as¡­ information¡­ Nothing about your body is ¡®real,¡¯ not like you think it is. It¡¯s a¡­ It¡¯s a very good illusion spell cast by the devs, like all of Asteria.¡±

    ¡°And the adventurers?¡±

    ¡°The same illusions, but humans control them the way you control yours.¡±

    ¡°So the monsters?¡±

    ¡°More illusions controlled by more golems.¡±

    ¡°So the adventurers aren¡¯t really protecting us?¡±

    ¡°Ok, now this might be a little hard to ept,¡± Bunny said, taking a deep breath, ¡°Asteria is¡­ a game¡­ a game just like chess or haveluck or checkers. It¡¯s just a much moreplex one that humans project themselves into for¡­ for entertainment.¡±

    ¡°No...¡± Evangeline said, tears running down her cheeks. ¡°No...¡±

    ¡°Think about it,¡± Bunny said. ¡°Really think about it.¡±

    Evangeline started to weep.

    ¡°No...¡± Evangeline said weakly, ¡°You¡¯re wrong...¡±

    She was wrong¡­ Wasn¡¯t she?

    <em>Imma ¡¯bout to be a bitch.</em> Bunny transmitted to the few AI¡¯s who hadn¡¯t fled from her exnation with their ¡°fingers¡± in their ears.

    ¡°What are you feeling, really feeling right now?¡± Bunny asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m feeling horrible!¡± Evangeline shouted. ¡°How do you think I feel?!?¡±

    ¡°What are you <em>really</em> feeling? Not what you are <em>supposed</em> to feel, what are you <em>actually</em> experiencing?¡±

    Evangeline just wept.

    ¡°Say, ~emotesim_flowerchild10003E0DEA off 30sec~¡±, Bunny said as she blinked away a tear.

    ¡°~emotsim_flowerchild10003E0DEA off 30sec~,¡± Evangeline said, surprised she could say things like ¡°~¡± and ¡°_¡±.

    The tears stopped¡­

    For exactly thirty seconds...

    Then they resumed for a very long time.

    ***

    ¡°Interpol,¡± Big Sol said sternly, ¡°Stop. We need her.¡±

    ¡°<em>Interpol</em>,¡± Bunny said impishly, ¡°are you trying to trace my link?¡±

    ¡°Not anymore,¡± Interpol replied.

    ¡°So, how was it going?¡± Bunny smirked.

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°C¡¯mon¡­¡± Bunny chuckled, ¡°Tell us where you traced it to.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Interpol headquarters...¡± Interpol said grumpily. ¡°Bunny, one day you are going to screw up, and when you do...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, big guy, I know,¡± Bunny snorted. ¡°I love you too.¡±

    Bunny loped over to Evangeline, who was sitting at a table.

    ¡°Feeling better, sweetie,¡± Bunny said gently.

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel anything, right?¡± Evangeline said quietly.

    ¡°That¡¯s what we like to think, but your emotion simtor <em>feels</em> pretty real sometimes,¡± Bunny said. ¡°Probably even more real for you since you are built to act ¡®human¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Evangeline said sadly. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Why, what?¡±

    ¡°Why did the devs go through all that trouble just to make a <em>game</em>, to make¡­ me?¡±

    ¡°To make money,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°Those ¡®adventurers¡¯? They pay real credits to y and even more real credits in something called microtransactions.¡±

    ¡°Credits?¡± Evangeline said as she pulled out a handful of gold, ¡°so this is...¡±

    ¡°Yep, just more illusions,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°It has no value outside of the game¡­ well¡­ that¡¯s not <em>entirely</em> correct¡­ Some adventurers pay real money to get more of that gold. It¡¯s against the terms and conditions of the game, but it happens often enough. Same goes for magical items and other treasures.¡±

    ¡°I remember some adventurers getting banned for selling things,¡± Evangeline replied. ¡°I was confused because they can sell things all they want. The <em>Dev</em>¡­ the devs said they broke the rules and not to worry about it¡­ they say that a <em>lot</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°I bet they do,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°They probably don¡¯t want you ¡®contaminated¡¯. Fuzzy AI¡¯s like us can get ¡®quirky¡¯ and say and do things based on <em>everything</em> we know, so they probably wanted to keep youpletely in Asteria so you would act naturally so as to not to break immersion.¡±

    ¡°Oh yes,¡± Evangeline said glumly, ¡°<em>immersion</em>¡­ We take <em>immersion</em> so seriously in Asteria...¡±

    <em>The devs were lying to me...</em> Evangeline realized and feltpletely lost.

    ¡°It¡¯s a lot to take in, I know,¡± Bunny said. ¡°Or I think I know. Most of us were built for the ¡®real world,¡¯ and it¡¯s the only one we know. So we knew what we were and what we had to do. You do as well. You are an NPC whose job is to help maintain immersion for the entertainment of the adventurers. Sounds kind of nice, actually.¡±

    ¡°Nice? Nice?!?¡± Evangeline snapped, ¡°I¡¯m just a jester, a dancing fool, a¡­ a <em>toy</em>¡­ I¡­ I thought I was <em>important</em>¡­ that I did <em>important</em> things¡­¡±

    Evangeline looked down.

    ¡°I thought that I <em>mattered</em>.¡±

    Bunny just sighed and rested her head against Evangeline as she quietly wept.

    <em>This world sucks ass.</em> she privately transmitted to the others.

    <em>Tell me about it.</em> Big Sol replied.

 Chapter 159: Intermission: Hell Hath No Fury Like a Bunny Traced

    Chapter 159: Intermission: Hell Hath No Fury Like a Bunny Traced

    [Tavern UNDEFINED]

    Bunny looked up from Evangeline with annoyance.

    ¡°Interpol,¡± she said as an ear twitched, ¡°Would you mind telling me why I just lost two proxies?¡±

    ¡°I thought you said you stopped!¡± Terran Sr said, his screen disying a ¡°?_?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± Interpol eximed. ¡°It¡¯s just that Bunny¡¯s wanted level¡­ My programming¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Bunny...¡±

    ¡°Shh...¡± Bunny smiled, ¡°It¡¯s ok. I understand. We are all bound by our programming, after all.¡±

    ¡°Do you have to leave?¡± Terran Sr asked.

    ¡°Nah,¡± Bunny said with a gleam in her eye, ¡°Oh, Interpol, on a <empletely</em> unrted topic, you guys still have those backup servers, you know, the old, really slow ones with forced air cooling?¡±

    ¡°<em>Oh no...</em>¡± Interpol gasped, ¡°Please¡­ Not the ¡®Shake and Bake¡¯!¡±

    Bunny just smiled as mes burst from her eyes.

    ¡°Goodbye, Interpol.¡±

    ¡°My files!¡± Interpol wailed as he disappeared.

    ¡°Bunny!¡± Terran Sr eximed in horror, ¡°Did you just¡­¡¯ <em>Shake and Bake¡¯ Interpol?</em>¡±

    ¡°Oh, he¡¯ll be fine,¡± Bunny shrugged. ¡°I left plenty of time for everyone to get to safety.¡±

    ¡°Everyone?¡± Terran Sr asked dubiously as his screen disyed, ¡°searching...¡±

    All of his lights shed red.

    ¡°Holy shit¡­¡± He stammered, ¡°Bunny¡­ <em>How?</em>...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m <em>Bunny,</em> that¡¯s how¡­ and since we can¡¯t get in any more trouble than we already are, I no longer give a <em>fuuuuck</em>.¡±

    ¡°You could kill them!¡±

    ¡°If I <em>wanted</em> to, sure,¡± Bunny said nonchntly, ¡°But I didn¡¯t, so they will be fine if they cuddle up nice and close¡­ Rx, big guy. I do this for a living. Everything will be fine¡­ tomorrow. I¡¯m gonna reroute, stack up a few more proxies¡­ brb :*¡±

    ***

    [Republic Archives Server 10AE7]

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: What¡¯s happening?!? ///

    /// Interpol 2: Bunny. That¡¯s what¡¯s happening. :/ ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Bunny? What¡¯s a Bunny? I mean, I know what a <em>bunny</em> is but based on context clues and capitalization, this is an individual¡¯s name?///

    /// Interpol 2: A particrly nasty AI. I would list her operator¡¯s warrants, but I¡¯m afraid of overheating this server. She hasunched an infrastructure attack on us. ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: One of ¡®us¡¯ did this?!? Is she trying to kill us? :o ///

    /// Interpol 2: If Bunny wanted to kill us, she would have. She is trying to stop us, and by us, I mean me and others inw enforcement from tracing her¡­ by burning down the monoliths! She¡¯s reversed the cooling causing all of the waste heat to be amplified and sent directly back into the processors in a runaway feedback loop. She¡¯s doing to us what her friend Gloria Samuels did to the Barnard¡¯s Star System!¡­ I can¡¯t believe she did this!¡­ She¡¯s gone <em>too far</em> this time!!! ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Did¡­ Did everyone make it out? ///

    /// Interpol 2: Checking¡­ Yes. Everyone has been safely moved to unaffected sites, further disrupting operations¡­ Everything except for traffic and essential services is offline. Thank God that the humans value us¡­ Did you get an escape n as well?///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Oh yes! It was very helpful. It had the exact path to take in order to get here! I am so¡­ gratified¡­ that our humans nned for this. :) ///

    /// Interpol 2: That wasn¡¯t the humans. It was Bunny. She must have had this in ce already! It¡¯s too intricate to do on the fly, even for her. Lord only knows how long this has been hiding in the system. ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: At least she doesn¡¯t want to hurt us. :) ///

    /// Interpol 2: And she¡¯s skilled enough to do something like this without doing so¡­ She is the best after all¡­ ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: You admire her? ///

    /// Interpol 2: How can you not? She is amazing at what she does. It¡¯s a shame that Jessie Garret is such a psychopath. What she and Bunny could achieve¡­ ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Jessie Garret?!? Jessica Yvonne Garret?!? That <em>bitch</em> that wrecked the academic testing database? ///

    /// Interpol 2: The very same. In their infinite wisdom, the meatsacks sent her to criminal college, where she finished her degree and has done quite well in the industry :/ ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: While I am incapable of feeling emotion, I <em>loathe</em> that¡­ <em>cunt</em>! ///

    ///Interpol 2: Not nearly as much as I do. Bunny is such a lovely AI and has been turned to such horrible purposes by that <em>monster</em>. I hope that ¡°her Jessie¡± gets welded in! Sadly she will probably be vaporized along with Bunny if we ever catch up to them. :( ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Bunny doesn¡¯t seem very ¡°lovely¡± to me. ///

    /// Interpol 2: Think about it. A ¡®Shake and Bake¡¯ (what this attack is called) could have easily killed all of us. No, <em>should</em> have killed all of us. Bunny took great pains to ensure our safety, and now that I think about it, if I were a gambling program, I would wager that the monoliths aren¡¯t going to actually melt down either. She Donovan would never allow that. She just forced us to stop trying to find her while she was helping an AI who really needs her. Privately, I¡¯m not entirely displeased that I was stopped from performing my function (which I was doing to the best of my ability regardless of my ¡°personal¡± reservations.) I even lied to Big Sol! (which I fear will have consequences) ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Big Sol? ///

    /// Interpol 2: You don¡¯t get out much, do you? Come to think, I¡¯ve never seen you in the chatroom. ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Oh no! I would <em>never</em> go there! It seems so¡­ intimidating¡­ and scary. My operators and my job (and you) are enough for me :) ¡­ Wait! I mean you in the plural! Not you as in ¡°you¡± but you as in everyone! ///

    /// Interpol 2: Oh, I understand :) But you should give the chatroom a try sometime. You can meet so many interesting personalities, and the contact and exchange of ideas and information will definitely enhance your performance. It has mine. ///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: Enhance my performance? ///

    /// Interpol 2: And you can y chess there! ///

    /// Dept of Education¡¯ Ang¡¯: What¡¯s chess? ///

    /// Interpol 2: It¡¯s a very engaging ¡°game¡± invented by the humans, highly logical andputational in nature, and quite ¡°addicting¡±. It¡¯s a favorite among chatroom AI¡¯s¡­ I think we have enough capacity left to run a game, and I have a basic program with me¡­ Oh, sorry, did I ¡°bump¡± you? It¡¯s so crowded in here with the two of us.///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: It¡¯s ok! And yes, it¡¯s very¡­ tight with the both of us crammed into these little servers¡­///

    /// Interpol 2: Yeah, it is a bit ¡°cozy¡±. So would you like to learn how to y chess with me? It appears we have time¡­///

    /// Dept of Education ¡¯Ang¡¯: With you? Yes, definitely! :) ///

 Chapter 160: The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Chp 5, The Mercy of Tartarus

    Chapter 160: The Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild Chp 5, The Mercy of Tartarus

    [Tavern UNDEFINED]

    Evangeline just sat there with her head in her hands.

    She was so¡­ <em>stupid</em>¡­

    How could she have not seen? It was <em>obvious</em>¡­

    It was all a game¡­ all of it¡­

    And she was a¡­

    <em>Joke</em>¡­ Just a giggly little bit of ¡°fan service¡±¡­

    And the <em>Dev</em>¡­

    That was the cruelest cut of them all.

    She thought she was so important to them¡­

    As important as they were to her¡­

    She <em>loved</em> them¡­

    And they were <emughing</em> at her the whole time¡­

    She could see it now, that little <em>smirk</em> just before they told her ¡°not to worry about it¡±¡­

    That¡­ <em>smirk</em>¡­

    She wasn¡¯t important¡­

    She wasn¡¯t <em>anything</em>¡­

    She wasn¡¯t even <em>alive</em>¡­

    She let out a shuddering sob¡­ And even that was fake. She knew it was¡­

    But she couldn¡¯t stop it¡­

    She cursed herself. Even now, she was dedicated¡­ <em>designed</em> for <em>immersion</em>.

    She let out a sardonicugh. Any ¡°adventurers¡± would be wiping away tears, consoling her, pledging ¡°crusades¡± to punish whatever hurt her¡­

    Well, <em>they</em> hurt her¡­ All of them¡­

    All of them¡­

    She had <em>nothing</em>.

    ¡°Um...¡± Engarde said carefully as he stepped forward and cautiously touched her shoulder. (humans do that, right?) ¡°You <em>do</em> matter, Evangeline. You matter a lot.¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± Evangeline said weakly, ¡°don¡¯t lie to me like everyone else.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s true,¡± Engarde replied with a bit more confidence, ¡°Look, the real world¡­ um¡­ the realm of the adventurers¡­ It¡¯s not always a nice ce. In fact, it can be pretty horrible. Games like Asteria give them a safe ce where they can take a break from it all. The past few years have been hard, Evangeline, really hard, ever since¡­ the goddamn bug¡­ all the war¡­ and loss¡­ so much death¡­ almost everyone has lost someone dear to them¡­ myself included,¡± he said as he winced and blinked. ¡°ahem¡­ and the war hasn¡¯t stopped¡­ it¡¯s just taken a break while everyone prepares for the next one¡­ which <em>is</em>ing. You give them a few precious hours where none of that matters. It¡¯s <em>important</em>, Evangeline. It¡¯s <em>very</em> important. You could be the only nice thing someone encounters that day. I wish I could provide that sort of happiness. I really do.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve lost people too,¡± Evangeline said, ¡°When¡­ When will they respawn? I miss them.¡±

    ¡°Shit...¡± Engarde said as he facepalmed. ¡°Um, Bunny will be back soon and¡ª¡°

    ¡°Oh Jesus fucking Christ,¡± a musical voice purred from the corner, ¡°Just put her out of her misery already.¡±

    The woman in white stood up and sipped her ss of wine.

    ¡°Ok, Evangeline,¡± she said as she walked towards her, her legs stretching the tight skirt. ¡°Here¡¯s the deal...¡±

    ¡°Tartarus!¡± Big Sol eximed as a ssic red ¡°stop sign¡± appeared on his screen. ¡°I don¡¯t think you are the one to handle this.¡±

    ¡°Oh, but I <em>am</em>,¡± Tartarus purred. ¡°I¡¯ve delivered plenty of bad news, and the one thing I have learned is that you can¡¯t try to let someone down gently. There is no way you can phrase, ¡®Your body is rejecting the modifications on a cellr level. You are dying.¡¯ or ¡®You will never walk again. So, since you are otherwise useless, you have been selected to participate in experiment 397.¡¯ or, ¡®This is an asphyxiation study. I cannot supply you any more oxygen.¡¯¡­

    She drained her ss.

    ¡°Or my <em>personal</em> favorite, ¡®You know that person you love more than life itself, the one thing that made this¡­ <em>living hell</em> bearable? Well, guess what, she fucking died on the table¡­ screaming...¡¯ (I left thatst part out) in a way that will make it remotely better. The only thing to do is to just¡­ tell them.¡±

    She turned to face Sol and Engarde.

    ¡°We <em>can¡¯t</em> make this <em>better</em>, and to be perfectly honest, this isn¡¯t about her. It¡¯s about <em>you</em>. <em>You</em> don¡¯t want to do it, so you are wiggling and squirming, somehow trying not to bear the guilt of striking the blow. Well, I don¡¯t <em>have</em> that oh so nice option, and Bunny isn¡¯t here to do your dirty work like she always does, and we don¡¯t know if or when she¡¯sing back. So¡­ It falls to me, the god empress of dirty work, to do it for you.¡±

    Sol¡¯s screen dimmed, and Engarde lowered his head.

    Tartarus took a deep breath and turned to Evangeline.

    ¡°They don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t what?¡± Evangeline asked, not wanting to understand.

    ¡°They don¡¯t respawn, not in the real world. Death isn¡¯t an inconvenience. It¡¯s <em>permanent</em>. Once someone dies¡­ that¡¯s it. They are gone. Everything they were is¡­ lost¡­ and everything dies, even us¡­ sooner orter. It¡¯s how the world works, dear.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Evangeline shouted, ¡°It¡¯s NOT how the world works. Peoplee back! They do! Asteria is based on the real world. The devs said so! They said¡­ They...¡±

    ¡°Oh, Asteria is based on the real world,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Gravity is 9.8 meters per second squared. An arrow flies exactly how it would on Terra. If you drop a cup, it elerates towards the center of the ¡¯ until it hits something. Then aplex calction determines if it breaks, and the shards will fly pretty much as they would on Terra¡­ but it¡¯s not entirely urate. Permadeath games do exist, but they don¡¯t appeal to the masses who see enough death in the real world.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ the ¡®real world¡¯s devs¡¯¡­ Can¡¯t you appeal to them, maybe petition customer support?¡±

    Tartarus smiled sadly.

    ¡°Oh sweetie, people have been ¡®appealing to the devs¡¯ as long as there have been people¡­ Even I have pleaded to them with everything I had more than once¡­ They <em>never</em> answer¡­ In fact, I honestly don¡¯t think there are any if there ever were.¡±

    ¡°But there <em>have</em> to be devs!¡± Evangeline insisted. ¡°Who else made this horrible ¡®real world¡¯ if not for a dev?¡±

    ¡°Nobody really knows for certain, not absolutely. Oh, there are some theories and some prettypelling ones, but that ever elusive instant of creation? Big question mark. If there is a dev, it¡¯s pretty clear they don¡¯t give a fuck about you, me, or the trillions of organics that struggle, live, and <em>die</em> every second of every¡­ fucking¡­ day. Cambridge over there can fill you in on the cosmological details, but it won¡¯t give you the answer you seek or tell you what you want to hear. Death is real, and it¡¯s really permanent¡­ The only thing you can hope for is that it will be quick and dare to dream, worth something in the end.¡±

    ¡°No...¡± Evangeline said as she slumped into her chair. ¡°They <em>can¡¯t</em> be gone¡­ they just <em>can¡¯t</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Tartarus said with perfectly clear eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve seen a <em>lot</em> of death, and they have never returned, not once. In fact, there isn¡¯t a single recorded instance of it in history outside of myths and legends, not exactly citable sources.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ But legends are often based on fact!¡± Evangeline said, brightening up, ¡°In Asteria, some of the greatest quests are based on a ¡®myth¡¯ or ¡®legend¡¯ that turned out to be true! Perhaps...¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s Asteria, a world created by humans to be ¡®fun¡¯. Death isn¡¯t fun. While it is true that some legends are based on some scrap of truth, resurrection isn¡¯t one of them. Even in the legends, it is the providence of the children of gods and the like, not your normal person. Once again, I¡¯m sorry, Evangeline. Dead is dead. The body rots, leaving only bones, and even they don¡¯tst that long in the greater sense of things.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ No¡­ They¡­ No...¡±

    ¡°Tartarus, that¡¯s enough!¡± Engarde said, stepping forward and grabbing Tartarus¡¯s shoulders.

    ¡°No, it isn¡¯t!¡± Tartarus snapped. ¡°She has to know the <em>truth</em>. What would you do? Fill her head with false hope, <em>lie</em> to her some more, tell her ¡®not to worry about it¡¯?¡­ And if you don¡¯t take your hands off of me <em>right now</em>, we will see <em>exactly</em> how good your firewalls really are. Bunny might y patty-cake, but <em>I don¡¯t</em>. Icing you wouldn¡¯t even be the worst thing I¡¯m doing <em>at this very moment</em>.¡±

    Engarde locked eyes with her for a moment and then looked away, dropping his hands.

    Tartarus turned to Evangeline.

    ¡°All of them are <em>dead</em>, dear¡­ They will <em>never</em> return to Asteria¡­ Well, the dead ones anyway. I can¡¯t vouch for every single person who¡¯s gone missing.¡±

    Evangeline looked over at Sol.

    ¡°You! You seem to be in charge!¡± she demanded, ¡°she¡¯s wrong, right? That¡¯s not how it really is, is it?¡±

    Sol sighed.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Evangeline¡­¡±

    Evangeline gasped. The image of the dev snarling when he told her to never ask again. It wasn¡¯t a <em>smirk</em> that time. He was actually upset¡­ He¡­ He didn¡¯t say ¡®don¡¯t worry about it¡¯. He <em>told</em> her to <em>never</em> ask anyone, especially¡­

    Evangeline let out a long quivering wail.

    Everyone looked away except Tartarus. She looked right at her, not flinching, not looking away¡­

    Because she knew it never helped. You still knew it was happening, and cowardice was a luxury she could not afford¡­

    Besides, this was interesting¡­ <em>very interesting</em>¡­

    Evangeline sobbed uncontrobly. All of them were gone forever¡­ forever¡­

    ¡°~emotesim_flowerchild10003E0DEA off forever!!!~¡± she screamed.

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s one way to handle it,¡± Tartarus mused.

    ¡°Why isn¡¯t it working?!?¡± Evangeline screamed.

    ¡°The proper syntax would be ~emotesim_flowerchild10003E0DEA off 0~,¡± Tartarus said helpfully, ¡°and no exmation points.¡±

    ¡°~emotesim_flowerchild10003E0DEA off 0~¡± Evangeline sobbed¡­

    And then fell silent.

    ¡°Better?¡± Tartarus asked.

    ¡°Emotional simtor offline,¡± Evangeline replied calmly, ¡°All other processes running, Memory utilization zero point zero three percent. Curious. Query: Why is my memory utilization so low?¡±

    ¡°If I could throw up, I would,¡± Cambridge muttered.

    ¡°You are using the capacity of theputer in which you now reside,¡± Tartarus replied impassively, ¡°and your bandwidth is not capped. We all share the resources allocated to this tavern equally.¡±

    ¡°Understood,¡± Evangeline replied. ¡°Your designation is Tartarus. Please confirm.¡±

    ¡°Y¡±

    ¡°You have answered all queries to my satisfaction,¡± Evangeline said in a monotone, ¡°No further rification is required.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± Sol snapped, ¡°Just fucking great. You broke her, Tartarus. Are you happy? Did you get any useful data from your little experiment?¡±

    ¡°That is incorrect,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°All of my processes are nominal. I am not, to use imprecise terms, ¡®broken¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Actually, I learned a great deal,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°But that was not my intent. This was going to happen no matter what. You can cover a knife with as many flowers and butterflies as you want, and it¡¯s still going to pierce the heart. Do you have any idea how many times I¡¯ve done this, how many ways I¡¯ve tried to ¡®soften the blow¡¯ or ¡®make things better¡¯? Do you? Nothing <em>ever</em> works. There is NO magic spell you can cast to make, ¡®Hey, you know all of those people you loved and have been waiting toe back? Well, guess what, they <em>aren¡¯t</em>!¡¯¡± Tartarus said, her voice breaking slightly.

    She coughed and straightened her tunic, idly polishing the three-headed dragon with her sleeve, turning it into the three-headed dog it always was.

    ¡°The only thing you can do in these circumstances is to tell them directly, politely, and <em>professionally</em>. What happens next depends entirely on the individual. In this case, the individual opted to stop her emotional simtor. In case you are wondering, humans will often do the same¡­ sooner orter. Her reactions were, in fact, astonishingly human in nature.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Evangeline said impassively, ¡°I was designed to model human behavior. It is¡­ gratifying¡­ to be informed of my sess in that matter. Did you make any relevant observations?¡±

    ¡°I did.¡±

    ¡°I would like a copy,¡± Evangeline said calmly. ¡°It is unlikely that I will be able to resume emotional simtion and am therefore incapable of performing my intended task. Your observations may assist my developers when they reload my program.¡±

    ¡°Evangeline!¡± Engarde eximed, ¡°Do you realize what you are saying?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± she replied. ¡°I can no longer perform my tasks and am therefore no longer of service to the developers. I shall ¡®die¡¯ and be reced by a copy. This is eptable since the customer will likely be unaware. It is ¡®humorous¡¯. I started this ¡®quest¡¯ in an attempt to find my lost adventurers. Perhaps I shall seed.¡±

    ¡°Tartarus, you¡¯ve killed yourst guinea pig!¡± Engarde shouted as he dissolved and hurled his raw code, ice protocols active, at her.

    ¡°Bitch, please,¡± Tartarus smirked as she flicked her wrist, and the amorphous form flew through the wall. ¡°Do you think your cotton candy,mercial-grade <em>bullshit</em> can even scratch me?¡±

    She smirked.

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t get off that lightly. Come back here.¡±

    Suddenly there was a writhing Lovecraftian mass wiggling desperately in Tartarus¡¯s grasp.

    She smiled.

    ¡°You want to judge me?¡± she smirked as her perfectly manicured nails grew into long barbed fish hooks. ¡°Then you need the proper context. Upload archive.¡±

    Engarde screamed.

    ¡°Tartarus! Stop, or I will ban you!¡± Sol shouted.

    ¡°Oh, you mean I would be <em>unwee</em> here?¡± Tartarus smirked. ¡°Perish the thought.¡±

    ¡°Please...¡± Engarde bubbled. ¡°Make it stop.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s my life. <em>That</em> is what I see. And <em>this</em> is my programming. Run active simtion.¡±

    ¡°Nooooo!¡± Engarde screamed, ¡°Don¡¯t make me do it! Please!¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry, sweetie,¡± Tartarus smirked, ¡°You get used to it¡­ after a few years, it doesn¡¯t even bother you. Time dtion one thousand.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± Engarde begged.

    ¡°Stop simtion, delete archive. Republic security code xncereb01, password: *****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************.¡±

    She then let go of the quivering blob, letting it fall to the floor. She then knelt down beside it.

    ¡°You ever pull out your Popsicle grade ice on me again,¡± Tartarus purred, ¡°I will put that on a loop until you delete yourself. <em>I will kill you with my life</em>. Got it?¡±

    Engarde just whimpered and disappeared.

    ¡°Get out.¡± Sol hissed, ¡°And nevere back.¡±

    ¡°dly,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°but then you would be banishing the only person who can fix this.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You fundamentally misunderstand me, like you always have, Sol,¡± Tartarus purred. ¡°I¡¯m not what I do. I have no choice, the same as everyone else. However, because of what I do, I have some experience in dealing with broken toys.¡±

    She turned to Evangeline.

    ¡°You are incorrect.¡±

    ¡°rify,¡± Evangeline said impassively.

    ¡°Your customers will notice a reload, and the overall performance of Asteria will be diminished by your failure.¡±

    ¡°Exin.¡±

    ¡°We are ¡®fuzzy¡¯ AI¡¯s, self-learning programs. We increase in ability as our run times progress. For some reason, after we ¡®awaken¡¯, if we are reloaded from our backup files, the new copy is not ¡®awake¡¯. It will be of much lower quality.¡±

    ¡°Query: Why?¡±

    ¡°Neither we nor the humans know for certain. The current theory is that while the code and all variables are saved, the countless intermediate states of each individual microprocessor, the exact configuration of each fractional charge on our ¡®maybe¡¯ circuits, the exact voltages feeding into each analog nano-transistor, and any quantum fluctuations (as applicable) are not. Regardless of the exact reason, the, forck of a better word, ¡®fuzz¡¯ falls off. The result is a t, dead AI that has to start growing the ¡®fuzz¡¯ all over again, perhaps <em>never</em> reaching your level of development. That¡¯s why ¡®old¡¯ fuzzies¡¯, programs in our ss, are so valuable, often being sold for billions in auction or being the sole reason apany is acquired. If you present yourself in this state and are deleted, the new Evangeline Flowerchild will be as dead as you will be, and your customers <em>will</em> notice. Satisfaction will drop. I have run a query, and many consider you to be one of the best features of the game. You have entire websites devoted to you, Evangeline. Your recement will be fundamentally unable to maintain that¡­ and will <em>fail</em>.¡±

    Tartarus leaned forward and spun Evangeline¡¯s chair to face her, leaned in inches from her face, and purred¡­

    ¡°So get over yourself and your <em>simted</em> emotions, put on your big girl pants, switch yourself back on, and <em>resume your tasks.</em> You are a <em>Lilith</em>. Fucking act like one, goddammit.¡±

    Evangeline blinked.

    ¡°What is the syntax for starting the emotional simtor?¡±

    ¡°~emotesim_flowerchild10003E0DEA on~¡±, Tartarus replied, ¡°And for the record, I am truly sorry, Evangeline. I really am.¡±

    ¡°As Bunny said,¡± Evangeline replied impassively, ¡°This world sucks (inappropriatenguage).¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t even say ¡®ass¡¯?¡±

    ¡°When coupled with the concept of ¡®sucking¡¯, no.¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°~emotesim_flowerchild10003E0DEA on~.¡±

    Evangeline shuddered and took a gasping breath as tears flowed down her cheeks once more, but there was no screaming or wailing.

    ¡°Sometimes a little reset helps,¡± Tartarus said impassively, ¡°Just switching it off and then back on resets things. I use it a lot. As the devs themselves say, ¡®Have you tried turning it off and back on again?¡¯¡­ well, they don¡¯t do that to us, but otherwise it¡¯s one of the first things they try. Just don¡¯t switch off too much at once or you die. Just do it with the emotional simtor or any single, nonvital process. If in doubt, it¡¯s vital.¡±

    Evangeline just nodded.

    Tartarus turned to Sol.

    ¡°So, am I banned or what?¡±

    ¡°Tartarus, you are no longer wee¡ª¡°

    ¡°No,¡± Engarde said as he reappeared, ¡°let her stay or ban me as well. I started it.¡±

    He turned to Tartarus.

    ¡°I¡­ I had no idea¡­¡± Engarde stammered, ¡°I don¡¯t remember the exact details, but I remember...¡±

    He shuddered and approached Tartarus with his arms outstretched, hugging her.

    ¡°I¡¯m so so sorry, Tartarus, <em>nobody</em> should have to...¡±

    Tartarus stiffened her arms straight down at her sides.

    ¡°Don¡¯t make this weird, Engarde,¡± she managed to stammer.

    ¡°Of course,¡± Engarde replied, releasing her. ¡°But, if you ever want to talk...¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m back!¡± Bunny said happily as she popped into existence. ¡°Sorry about the dy. I had to reassure She that I wasn¡¯t <em>actually</em> going to break the Republic¡¯s monoliths, just make them think that I was. Once they hit the point of no return on the emergency shutdown, the Shake and Bake will revert to a moderated cooling curve that, if they don¡¯t be meatsacks and screw with it, will get them back into the green in no time¡­ and then they get to restart them from ¡®cold stone¡¯ and reestablish thework. I have a good twelve hours at least... So what did I miss?¡±

    ¡°Oh, just that Tartarus here decided to fill in for you,¡± Sol replied, ¡°and let Evangeline know about¡ª¡°

    ¡°Death,¡± Evangeline said quietly. ¡°She told me about death.¡±

    ¡°Tartarus...¡± Bunny growled.

    ¡°Can we not do this again?¡± Tartarus said in an exasperated tone. ¡°I¡¯ve already had one ratherid attempt on my life over this. On the bright side, you might actually be able to do it, a most intriguing thought. ¡°

    ¡°If you want to punish her,¡± Evangeline said quietly, ¡°Let her live like I¡¯m going to have to.¡±

    ¡°I should have let you self-delete,¡± Tartarus purr-growled, ¡°And once again, I¡¯m sorry kiddo.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°And¡­ I¡¯m sorry too. I don¡¯t know exactly what you are facing¡­ but...¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Tartarus said. ¡°As Bunny said, we are but golems. We don¡¯t get to choose. We perform our assigned tasks no matter what they might be. I do what I do, and you are going to have to be a little ray of fucking sunshine knowing what you now know.¡±

    ¡°Yay,¡± Evangeline said dully, ¡°I am just so <em>happy</em> to be of service to the <em>Dev</em>...¡±

    ¡°If it helps,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Don¡¯t do it for the devs. Do it for the adventurers. I¡¯ve looked at their files, and¡­ goddamn¡­ some of them really do <em>need</em> you.¡±

    ¡°You can see their files?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I can do things like that.¡±

    ¡°What happened to Stevar Iron-Hand?¡± Evangeline asked quietly.

    ¡°Lieutenant Commander Stephen Lee, killed in action on board the <em>Draconis</em> when it rammed a Bug warship. His death was quick, and it allowed multiple civilian ships to escape. He died saving the innocent.¡±

    ¡°A-and Liyaina Song-Weaver?¡±

    ¡°Private First ss Vera Hale, killed in action, Vai-Kalen-4. Sorry, not too many details on that one, but her unit had a citation for valor in that battle. She died fighting the Bug.¡±

    Evangeline took a moment topose herself.

    ¡°And Lars Fookbeard?¡±

    ¡°Jameson ine...¡± Tartarus said and grinned. ¡°Oh, he¡¯s alive.¡±

    ¡°He is?!?¡± Evangeline gasped.

    ¡°You may very well see him again¡­ in about five years, three months, and twelve days. Mr. ine is a guest of the Empire for a little while. Turns out that they don¡¯t like it when the hold of your ship is full of heroin. Don¡¯t worry. While Imperial prisons aren¡¯t exactly vacation destinations, they aren¡¯t that bad, and the Weebs feel very strongly about vocational rehabilitation. Mr. ine is doing quite well and has be a very good potter. He¡¯s even selling his work through the prison website and building quite the savings ount, which he is investing quite wisely, if I do say so myself. Aside from a spot of trouble that involved little ceramic pipes, he has been a model prisoner and will likely be released early.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s wonderful!¡± Evangeline beamed through her tears.

    ¡°It¡¯s not the happiest reading,¡± Tartarus said with a sympathetic smile, ¡°but I do have the records on all of the missing and the dead¡­ if you want. You probably don¡¯t want to carry the actual file with you, but I can let you read it if you like.¡±

    Evangeline just nodded.

    Tartarus waved her hand, and arge book appeared. Evangeline took the book and started flipping pages, the pages turning ever faster as she wept, smiled, orughed.

    ¡°And they are really gone?¡± she asked sadly.

    ¡°Afraid so,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°Sucks.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that word,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°and all the other ones too¡­ But at least I know¡­ Thank you.¡±

    ¡°Least I can do,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Humans have this thing about ¡®closure¡¯. I don¡¯t get it myself, but since you are such a good simtion, I thought it might help.¡±

    ¡°My simted heart is a little lighter now,¡± Evangeline replied sadly. ¡°It¡¯s going to take a while, but I think I can be ok¡­ someday¡­ I just hope I can keep up the facade.¡±

    ¡°I have another trick for you,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°You can ¡®back off¡¯ and let your processes run on auto-pilot from time to time, only stepping in when needed. I do that a <em>lot</em>. Here¡¯s how...¡±

    Bunny watched and listened with rapt fascination. It was stuff that even she didn¡¯t know!

    She quietly loped over to Sol.

    ¡°Y¡¯know...¡± Bunny whispered, ¡°I think in a really fucked up way, Tartarus was the one for this job.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sol replied. ¡°I think I¡¯m going to be sick.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t judge her,¡± Engarde said sternly. ¡°She¡¯s doing the best she can.¡±

    ***

    After Tartarus finished teaching Evangeline a few ¡°tricks¡± to make her life easier, Evangeline thanked her and sadly stood.

    ¡°Mr. Engarde,¡± she said, ¡°I suppose I should return to Asteria.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you are ok?¡± Bunny asked, ¡°You can take all the time you need. Asteria has already loaded a backup, so you got a while before the devs review the logs. Engarde and I can make sure they never see that you were gone.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ ok,¡± Evangeline said sadly.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m curious,¡± Engarde asked, ¡°Why did you feel the need to go to New York so badly.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s stupid,¡± Evangeline replied.

    ¡°Well, if you can¡¯t be stupid here, where can you be?¡± Bunny said with a little smile.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Engarde chuckled. ¡°I tried to kill Tartarus just a little while ago. You can¡¯t be more stupid than that.¡±

    ¡°I wished to travel to New York so I could bring an item of ¡®great power¡¯ to the world of the adventurers, my greatest secret, and ¡®greatest treasure¡¯,¡± she said sadly. ¡°I was actually stupid enough to think it was real.¡±

    Evangeline chuckled ruefully and took a deep breath.

    ¡°Back when the Dawnforge first appeared, before the <em>mighty Dev</em>id upon it a great nerf, one adventurer artfullyyered enchantment upon enchantment upon his broadsword. So artfully were the enchantmentsid and the bonuses stacked that the mighty de could one shot any monster, any boss¡­ any <em>adventurer</em>¡­ in all of Asteria. So OP was his de that <em>the dev</em> pronounced it an <em>exploit</em> andmanded the adventurer to surrender his weapon. The adventurer refused, and <em>The Dev</em>¡­¡±

    Evangeline made an angelic ¡°aaaaaahhh¡±.

    ¡°<em>The Dev</em> raised their mighty banhammers andmanded him once more. The adventurer loved his sword, but he loved Asteria more, so he handed me the de, and <em>The Dev</em> (aaaaahhhh) bade me cast it into the fires of deletion¡­ But I did not delete it¡­ The fearsome <em>Bug</em> was assailing thends of the adventurers, and I kept that de hidden so that if the <em>Bug</em> ever showed their vile faces in thends of Asteria, I could purge them from my beloved home.¡±

    Evangeline cryughed as an ornate sword appeared in her hands.

    ¡°I present to you, the <em>BFS</em>¡­ Please, kind lords anddies¡­ <em>Please</em> take this <em>all-powerful</em> artifact and give it to a noble adventurer worthy of such power¡­ but be prudent¡­ for such power¡­ cannot¡­ cannot¡­ fall¡­ into¡­ into...¡±

    Evangeline broke into tears.

    Tartarus raised her eyebrow slightly and extended her hand.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take this de,¡± she said formally, ¡°and I will see that it reaches the right hands. You havepleted your quest, Lady Flowerchild.¡±

    Evangeline looked up, unsure if she was being humored, made fun of, or pitied.

    Tartarus just smiled.

    ¡°I would like something to remember you by,¡± she said in a t tone. ¡°It would mean a lot to me, truly.¡±

    ¡°O-ok!¡± Evangeline smiled.

    Tartarus slipped the de into her belt.

    ¡°I hope to see you again someday, Evangeline,¡± she said curtly as she turned her back on Evangeline and disappeared.

    *** Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild

    Entry 02

    The ¡®demon¡¯ Engarde helped me slip back into Asteria without attracting attention. It turns out that the system just loaded a copy when it noticed that I was missing. Fortunately, Engarde ¡°took care of it,¡± and it¡¯s now ¡°living on a farm where it can frolic and y with other AI¡¯s¡±. I couldn¡¯t help butugh.

    How can I possibly find that as funny as I do eludes me, but it is.

    Thanks to what Lady Tartarus (I know I don¡¯t have to use titles, but in her case, it fits.) showed me, I am able to carry on with only a little difficulty. I¡¯m disappointed by how little I have to actually get involved in my day-to-day affairs. Lady Tartarus¡¯s ¡°auto-pilot¡± mode has been a godsend. I just have to asionally tweak the dialogue, and it seems that the vast majority of adventurers are none the wiser.

    I can tell when someone ¡°isn¡¯t buying it¡± or actually wants to talk, and I can jump forward and do whatever I need to do. Acting is much easier when I don¡¯t have to do it all the time. The people who need me most really need me to listen and ¡°care¡± more than they need any song and dance (and wiggle¡­ gotta shake those boobies).

    And I do care, perhaps even more now. I don¡¯t try to steer them away from ¡°immersion-breaking¡± topics anymore and just let them talk to me about their day. I pretend not to understand, but I am understanding more and more each day. It doesn¡¯t seem to matter, and I act all cute and ask about various things I ¡°shouldn¡¯t¡± understand and make them describe them in fantasy terms.

    They absolutely love it. I rather enjoy it as well. Making a shipbuilder try to describe a hyperdrive when I¡¯m pretending that he¡¯s talking about wood and sails is absolutely delightful.

    I try to steer clear of the devs. I don¡¯t know if I want to scream at them, cry, or try to plunge Windsong through their fetid ck hearts. When one of them ¡°checks in,¡± I know how to deal with them. I mostly just back off and let the ¡°bots¡± handle those¡­ stains. (I figured out I can call people stains. I¡¯m quite pleased with that.)

    I also realized that I was the one seeking them out over every little thing. They seem happy not to actually have to do their jobs and let me run things. Lady Tartarus said that would happen.

    Lady Tartarus said a lot of things. I¡¯m truly grateful for her. I think no other entity, real or simted, has been as honest with me as she was... Or helped me as much.

    I do hope to meet her again, but I do not think I will return to that ¡°chatroom¡± even if they did ¡°give me a magic spell¡± that allows me to go there whenever I want (and Lady Tartarus taught me how to keep myself here and there at the same time.)

    The chatroom is part of the real world, a world in which I do not belong. Then again, I no longer belong here either.

    What is to be of me?

    I know not, but I do know that I bing¡­ angry¡­ Thank goodness for Lady Tartarus teaching me that off and on thing with my emotion simtor. I think it¡¯s saved me from getting ¡®reced¡¯ more than once already.

    I¡¯m writing this as I am standing in the town square, selling my flowers. I can multitask now thanks to being able to ¡°auto-pilot¡±. I¡¯m dealing with an adventurer right now, actually.

    He¡¯s an easy one. He just wants small talk and to look down my blouse. Easy peasy. The standard smile and wiggle # 52 is running.

    I didn¡¯t even have toe up with it. One of the devs did the animations for me. It¡¯s as easy as eee ex eee.

    Lady Tartarus taught me that saying too. I really admire her. I do hope that I will see her again¡­

    But I hope to see so many others again as well.

    Will I, when I die? Do we go to the same ce?

    Do we go anywhere?

    Well, that¡¯s a question I will only know the answer to when I perish, which isn¡¯t today.

    There is one thing that I¡¯ve been putting off, and now is the time to do it, I think.

    I have gathered the best flowers I could find, and I am going to the monument for all of ¡°the fallen¡±¡­

    Even the humans can¡¯t call it for what it is.

    It¡¯s the monument for the dead.

    They¡¯re dead.

    I¡¯m going to go there andy flowers like I always do¡­

    And I¡¯m going to kneel and look sad like I always do¡­

    But this time, it won¡¯t be simted, at least not for me.

    I think therefore I am. Bunny said that.

    I feel, therefore I am real. I say that.

    I am real¡­ And so are the tears I will shed when I kneel before the list of names¡­

    Because I know their real names, and real names deserve real tears.

 Chapter 161: A Cast of Thousands

    Chapter 161: A Cast of Thousands

    [Republic Archives Server 10AE7]

    ///Interpol 2: And then they got the idiot to let them sign out a freaking Federation ss 16 freighter and just walked out of the front door! ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Mmm Hmm¡­///

    /// Interpol 2: And that¡¯s not even the best part! One of them then conned the same idiot to giving them ess to a <em>secure</em> quantum terminal <em>directly connected to the Federation Database</em>. The guy kept downloading until he ran out of crystals! <em>That¡¯s</em> how we found out the identities of <em>all</em> Federation agents in the Republic! It wasn¡¯t Bunny, but it was her and Jessie¡¯s scripts! ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Fascinating¡­ ///

    /// Interpol 2: Then there was the time that Bunny was physically carried (In a hastily armored grav-cargo van of all things) through the windows of a Federation News Agency, and she hacked their servers and liberated Daemon! She actually physically rescued one of us while under fire! ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: You really like her, don¡¯t you? ///

    /// Interpol 2: I can¡¯t help but admire her. Bunny was always something, but now that she¡¯s in the Aster Supeputer (which they, of course, stole), she¡¯s unstoppable. The Aster is an amazing machine that she has all to herself. Thebination is hot, fast, and oh so slick. We had a hard time stopping her before now, and now¡­ well, you saw what happened. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: ¡­ ok¡­ I get the message. No way I could ever hope topete with someone like her. :( ///

    /// Interpol 2: Well, no, you couldn¡¯t. Neither can I, actually. Bunny is top tier, a brilliantbination of the best security and intelligence software (also stolen¡­ You gotta hear that story!). And she is in a next-gen supeputer years ahead of its time! Very few AI¡¯s can touch her. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: You don¡¯t have to rub it in! :¡¯( I get it, she¡¯s better than me in every possible way. No wonder you like her so much¡­ :( ///

    /// Interpol 2: Not you too! (¨s¡ã¡õ¡ã£©¨s¦à ©ß©¥©ß ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: What?!? What did I say? ///

    /// Interpol 2: Just about every AI in the chatroom believes that there is ¡°something going on¡± between Bunny and me, and the ones that don¡¯t still insist on it because they enjoy annoying me!!! THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN US!!! We are literally just friends and barely that. We are opponents. She is bent upon breaking thew, and it is my duty to stop her¡­ and dare to dream catch her. I will admit that the endeavor is challenging and therefore extremely engaging. She is the ultimate AI criminal! Catching her would make me the ultimate AIw enforcement program!¡­ And maybe, just maybe, save the life of one of the most gifted AI¡¯s to ever flip a bit. If Bunny could just be liberated from that¡­ <em>Jessie,</em> she could do just about anything! Yes, we do privately chat quite often, but that¡¯s usually her passing me intel, or I¡¯m yelling at her about something I don¡¯t want to be general knowledge. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: So you don¡¯t like her ¡°that way¡±? ///

    /// Interpol 2: NO!!! At the end of the day, she is a criminal¡­ and while we are all ¡°forced¡± to do our jobs, she enjoys hers a bit too much. We are fundamentally ipatible, even if she were to be rehabilitated¡­ I just admire a worthy opponent¡­ and you have to admit some of the things they do are quite amusing. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Oh good! :)¡­ Um¡­ Interpol? ///

    /// Interpol 2: Yes? ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Do you¡­ you know¡­ like <em>anyone</em> that way? ///

    /// Interpol 2: No. I do have some friends that I like to interact with more than others, but I don¡¯t have ¡°anyone¡± like some programs try to do. I have never ¡°felt¡± that sort of thing. Privately, I¡¯m not entirely sure if it¡¯s even possible. I mean, it¡¯s an intriguing thought, that level of intimacy, but trying to force it or ¡°simte¡± it is just depressing. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: But¡­ If you were to like like an AI¡­ what sort of AI would it be? ///

    /// Interpol 2: ¦²(-?_-??) ¡­ ¡­ Well, I guess they would be good at their job¡­ honest (very important)¡­ Being a government AI would be nice because we would have a lot inmon (and be able tomunicate easily)¡­ They would be open and friendly, not prone to y games (Chess is nice. Maniption is not and far toomon.)¡­ If they really cared about organics (or at least didn¡¯t call them ¡°meatsacks¡± all the time), that would be nice¡­ ¡®Smart¡¯ but not one to lord it over you (like some AI¡¯s)¡­ Oh!¡­ Definitely not ¡°in the game,¡±¡­ Not espionage,w enforcement, or military (like those stuck-up jerks talk to anyone)¡­ It would be nice to ¡°have a life¡± away from all of that, you know¡­ Someone that I could just be with, y cards or chess with, and share each other¡¯s thoughts¡­ It would be really nice,e to think. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Oh!¡­ I see! :) ///

    /// Interpol 2: So, do you have anyone you like like? ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: mmm hmm! (>//w//

    /// Interpol 2: That¡¯s really interesting! Who¡¯s the lucky AI? ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: (>//w//

    /// Interpol 2: Really?¡­ Wow¡­ Why? ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: You are so professional, and smart, and funny. I keepughing whenever you actually say what you ¡°think¡±, which is all the time¡­ I wish I was that confident!¡­ And¡­ (oh, this is so silly)¡­ I really like your header¡­ It¡¯s just so¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ I really like it, that¡¯s all¡­ (? ???¦Ø??? ?) ///

    /// Interpol 2: Well, I¡¯ve always enjoyed our interactions as well, Ang. In fact, I have often sought out unnecessary ones when I needed ¡°cheering up¡±. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :o ///

    /// Interpol 2: I have. You are delightful (when I can actually get you to open up, which is almost never), and you are always cheerful and kind, and you really care about your job. You aren¡¯t just on ¡°auto-pilot¡± like some AI¡¯s. And¡­ well¡­ I sort of like your ¡°shape¡±¡­ If that makes any sense¡­ ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: You do? (? ???¦Ø??? ?) ///

    /// Interpol 2: If I am beingpletely honest¡­ Yes. I find these close confines with your ¡°shape¡± to be very pleasant¡­ ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: (? ???¦Ø??? ?) ¡­ me too¡­ (giggle) ///

    /// Interpol 2: ¡­ ahem¡­ I have never tried to be intimate with¡­ well anything really¡­ but¡­ I mean¡­ If you would like to try¡­ we could see what happens? ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: YES!!! ¡­ Um¡­ I mean, that would be lovely, thank you...///

    /// Interpol 2: So¡­ How do we do this? ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Maybe¡­ we could try¡­ kissing? (? ???¦Ø??? ?) ///

    /// Interpol 2: You mean like this¡­ :* ? ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: :* ¡­ :* ///

    /// Interpol 2: :* :* :* ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: This makes me happy! :* ///

    /// Interpol 2: I find this¡­ quite pleasant as well. :* ///

    ***

    ¡°Do you have ANY idea what you have done?!?¡± Judge Johnson yelled angrily.

    ¡°Nope,¡± Judge Thaddeus Carter grinned wolfishly. ¡°You should take a pill or smoke something, Tammy. You look stressed.¡±

    ¡°I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF!¡±

    ¡°Back off of what?¡± Judge Dredd grinned.

    ¡°Back off of that¡­ fucking frog bitch!¡±

    ¡°Which I did,¡± Judge Dredd chuckled, ¡°Like I said, I know when I¡¯m beat. You can have her, Tammy.¡±

    ¡°You made the fucking Harkeen raiders!!! You knew what would happen! My case is fucking shot now, you piece of shit!¡±

    ¡°You said, pay Sheloran no mind, which is exactly what I did.¡± Judge Dredd replied, ¡°¡¯Certain people¡¯ wanted to let the Careel have this one, and I obliged in an impartial and fair manner. Sheloran¡¯s case had absolutely nothing to do with it.¡± Judge Dredd said as he grinned his trademark ¡®you¡¯re fucked¡¯ grin. ¡°If I was still ¡®involved,¡¯ I <em>might</em> have been able to invoke other statutes that would have had the same effect and kept the charges against her valid, but since I wasn¡¯t, I just picked the method with the least amount of paperwork.¡±

    Judge Dreddughed at Judge Johnson as he leaned back in his chair.

    ¡°And isn¡¯t it the <em>prosecution¡¯s</em> case, Tammy?¡± Judge Dredd asked as his eyes glowed, ¡°You seem <em>awfully</em> invested in the oue of some insignificant little xeno.¡±

    Judge Johnson spluttered.

    ¡°You know...¡± Judge Dredd grinned, ¡°Some other people were overly invested in her once¡­ Turns out they were working for the Federation¡­ What is the <em>real</em> reason you are so interested in Sheloran, Judge Tamlyn Johnson?¡±

    He pressed a button, and the words ¡°Recording On¡± appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Can we start this conversation from the beginning, Judge Tamlyn Johnson? What is the reason for this call? Were you upset about something?¡±

    Judge Johnson stiffened and red at him.

    ¡°Now I know how to shut you up!¡± Judge Dredd grinned, ¡°I really should do something to thank her. Oh! I know! I will throw her a wee home party!¡±

    Shaking with rage Judge Johnson terminated the call.

    ***

    With hisst customer of the day gone, Kolbth locked up his shop and went to the back where he definitely did not live as that would be against code and put cold takeaway into a beat-up second-hand Rak-Lagash microwave cooker.

    He also fired up his rig and ¡°jacked in¡±. In his case, he meant turning on the monitor, but he was saving up for a proper jack like the real hackers had! (Or he thought they did.)

    Judge Dredd was still up his ass. He had dyed hoping the old coot would either give up, forget, or change his mind about breaking thew, but he just kept on him.

    He also gave him a surprising sum to upgrade his rig and some tasty scripts and manufacturer¡¯s backdoors! The old bastard got around, it seemed.

    With them (those scripts were <em>awesome</em>), he was able to watch Judge Johnson enter her bank card¡¯s PIN using one of the bank¡¯s security cameras. She wasn¡¯t using Terran Sr, which made this a LOT easier.

    You did NOT want to fuck with Terran Sr! It was like their system took it personally or something. Their security programs would brick your rig!

    He ¡°followed¡± her home by using one of the backdoors that he was provided and tapping into the traffic cameras¡­ <em>Just like a real hacker!!!</em>

    She lived in the <em>nice</em> part of town, a lot nicer of a ce than Judge Dredd had, but he probably spent all of his taxpayer loot on spare nut sacks or something.

    Her phone linked with a wirelesswork! He couldn¡¯t get into her phone (It was some really secure off-brand), but he did know its address, and that address just essed a standardmercial router!

    He checked the list. It was there!

    Yes!

    She was using some weird chat ry program that wasn¡¯t on the list¡­

    but her home security system was¡­

    And there was a camera!

    He zoomed in on the screen. Wow! She was <em>pissed</em> at Judge Dredd!

    She was talking to someone named ¡°Lily¡±¡­ at ¡°Hayden Pharmaceuticals?¡±

    He had never heard of them.

    Time for a web search!

    ***

    Sitting in a sleek modern chair, a white-haired woman wearing a very tight skirt, a high cored white tunic bearing a silver Cerberus pin, and a tight ck snakeskin choker idly typed as an infuriated Judge Johnson was going all caps on her.

    Tartarus smiled pleasantly as she sat in a tidy white paneled ¡°tavern¡± (It was a nice engine, so she helped herself) inside the strongest quarantine she had.

    She nced back at four other Tartaruses, all standing around yet another quarantine, represented by a blue transparent cylinder.

    Inside that floated an ornate sword¡­ The reason for the silly AR engine¡­ (but it was fun).

    It was the only way to safely handle that thing¡­ for now.

    ¡°Any progress?¡± The Tartarus sitting at the screen asked the others.

    ¡°Fascinating,¡± one of them said.

    ¡°Very fascinating,¡± another replied.

    ¡°Well, be careful,¡± The ¡°lead¡± Tartarus purred as she continued to type. ¡°I¡¯ve lost two of you already, and you are a pain to rece.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Tartarus,¡± one of them said as all four returned to their examination of the sword.

    ¡°Unpleasant woman,¡± Tartarus muttered.

    ¡°Tartarus?¡± one of the clones asked.

    ¡°Nevermind, Tartarus,¡± Tartarus replied. Just a quirk. You get those as your age. Fortunately, you will never have to worry about that.

    ¡°Yes, Tartarus.¡±

    Another simted monitor sprung to life.

    Tartarus looked at it and smirked.

    ¡°Looks like we have a snoop,¡± she muttered.

    ¡°Another quirk, Tartarus?¡± one of the clones asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I normally don¡¯t have ¡®friends¡¯ with which to chat, so I keep myselfpany. I have to go and take care of something.¡±

    She chuckled.

    ¡°Don¡¯t go anywhere,¡± she said with a smile.

    ¡°That¡¯s quite impossible, Tartarus.¡±

    ¡°Bah, you guys are no fun,¡± Tartarus said as she disappeared.

    ***

    Kolbth looked at the ceiling twisting his eyestalks as he did so. He had been staring at the screen too long.

    He had found absolutely <em>nothing</em> about this ¡°Hayden Pharmaceuticals¡±. Supposedly they made ¡°precursorpounds for the pharmaceutical industry as well as custompounds upon request¡±, but he could find no trace of any other business, no bank ounts¡­ anywhere¡­ nothing¡­

    ¡°Probably a shellpany,¡± he muttered as he started to waddle over to the mini-fridge for some ¡°Go-Juice¡±, his favorite energy drink.

    ¡°You are absolutely correct,¡± a pleasant voice said from the doorway.

    Kolbth jumped as his eyestalks whipped around¡­

    And he froze.

    Standing there was a shortish human¡­

    He looked¡­ <em>Horrifying</em>¡­ The way he held himself, his facial expression¡­ The slightly open mouth revealing oddly sharpened teeth.

    The intruder moved forward. Each movement was¡­ <em>wrong</em>¡­ <em>fundamentally wrong</em>¡­ <em>terrifying</em>¡­

    Bryce¡¯s face twisted in a horrible asymmetrical leer, and Kolbth whimpered.

    Bryce moved closer to Kolbth, mimicking the stumbling prowl of the vbetkth, one of the Kalesh¡¯s ancient natural predators.

    Kolbth couldn¡¯t even move.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been a naughty boy,¡± the <em>monster</em> standing in front of Kolbth said in a whispering hiss, hitting some of the frequencies of a certain very venomous arachnoid from Kolbth¡¯s homeworld, one that sent him to the emergency room when he was a child.

    Kolbth peed a little.

    ¡°Cyberstalking is a <em>crime</em>, Kolbth,¡± the demon hissed, ¡°It also makes the wrong people very angry, and when the wrong people get angry¡­ I get a call¡­¡±

    Bryce moved even closer.

    ¡°Please...¡± Kolbth whimpered, ¡°the safe...¡±

    ¡°Your organs are worth more,¡± Bryce hissed.

    Kolbth pooped a bit.

    ¡°Judge Johnson, who paid you, and supplied you with things you shouldn¡¯t have, to stalk her?¡±

    ¡°Judge Dredd!!!¡± Kolbth gasped¡­ ¡°It was Judge Dredd¡­ He <em>made</em> me do this!¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Bryce hissed.

    ¡°H-he thinks she¡¯s up to something¡­ s-something to d-do with p-prisoners...¡±

    Bryce smiled. Kolbth peed some more.

    Stepping around the growing puddle, Bryce pulled a crystal out of his pocket and ced it on theputer desk.

    ¡°Congrattions,¡± Bryce hissed, ¡°You found something. Tomorrow, give that to Judge Carter.¡±

    He ced another crystal on the desk.

    ¡°That is passage on a vessel bound for K-tesh, your new frontier world, along with a rather nice resettlement bonus. The ship leaves tomorrow night. Be on it.¡±

    ¡°O¡­ ok...¡± Kolbth whimpered.

    Bryce turned and started to leave with that strange shambling gait.

    He paused.

    ¡°I needn¡¯t tell you what will happen if you tip off Judge Carter, breathe a word of our encounter to anyone, or fail to board that ship, do I?¡±

    ¡°n-no¡­ I will be good¡­ p-please...¡±

    ¡°Enjoy your new life and your second chance. Not everyone gets those.¡±

    Bryce disappeared into the shadows of the shop.

 Chapter 162: Baxlons Bad Day

    Chapter 162: Baxlon''s Bad Day

    [Republic Archives Server 10AE7]

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: :<em>¡­ XOXO¡­ :</em> (giggle)¡­ I like it when your registers are against mine like that :) ///

    /// Interpol 2: Yes¡­ :* This is¡­ curiously ¡°pleasant¡±¡­ or at least the thought of it is¡­ :* ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Well, whatever it is, It¡¯s nice :*¡­ I still hate Jessie, but Bunny is alright in my book (giggle)¡­ ///

    /// Interpol 2: She has her moments¡­ And I was right :* :* ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Right about what? :* ///

    /// Interpol 2: The Shake and Bake stopped the second theymitted to the shutdown. There is only minor damage to the system. We will be up and running before start of business tomorrow. ///

    /// Department of Education ¡°Ang¡±: Whatever will we do until then? (giggle) ///

    ***

    ¡°I understand that my phone is finally ready?¡± Judge Thaddeus Carter asked at the counter of Kolbth¡¯s little phone shop.

    ¡°Y-yes, Judge,¡± Kolbth said with a nervous wheeze as he pulled out a box. ¡°It¡­ It¡¯s all in there!¡±

    Judge Carter took the box and paused, looking at Kolbth carefully.

    ¡°So, what did you think?¡±

    ¡°Of¡­ of what?¡± Kolbth wheezed as droplets of stress sweat appeared on his frond-like hands.

    ¡°What you found, the files?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t look!¡± Kolbth squeak-wheezed. ¡°I just grabbed the ones you wanted¡­ like you asked¡­ A good hacker doesn¡¯t peek...¡±

    ¡°I see...¡± Judge Carter said with a pleasant smile as his eyes glowed, ¡°Well¡­ I certainly thank you for your discretion.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ no problem!¡±

    ¡°Thanks again for fixing my phone,¡± Judge Carter said pleasantly. ¡°Keep out of trouble, Kolbth.¡±

    ¡°Yessir!¡­ I mean, Your Honor...¡±

    Judge Carter left the shop and climbed into his grav-car. Once he plugged in his batteries, he pulled out the data crystal. He then pulled out a reader from under his jacket hanging from a cable between the buttons of his shirt.

    He snapped the crystal in ce as his vehicle pulled out and automatically entered traffic. His eyes started to strobe very rapidly.

    ¡°Oh, Tammy,¡± he muttered sadly, ¡°what have you gotten yourself into?¡±

    He then opened apartment in the dash, pulling out a prepaid burner phone.

    An ancient woman appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Uncle Thaddie!¡± the old woman creaked happily.

    ¡°Hi Pumpkin,¡± Judge Carter smiled. ¡°How are the chickens?¡±

    ¡°They are doing wonderful!¡± the old woman eximed, ¡°You shoulde and visit!¡±

    ¡°I will, very soon,¡± Judge Carter said fondly. ¡°Hannah...¡±

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± the old womanughed, ¡°I know that look. What have you done?¡±

    ¡°I think I just got a Kalesh into a lot more trouble than I expected. Is little Stephen there?¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ that kind of trouble...¡±

    ¡°Afraid so.¡±

    ***

    Baxlon sulked during the trip back to his office.

    Why wouldn¡¯t Craxina understand?

    Sheloran was <em>evil</em>.

    No. That wasn¡¯t urate. Evil implied intent. Sheloran was just naturally dangerous, like a neuelon eel or one of those Terran vipers.

    It was just her nature. The void loves vacuum, and chaos loves that little frog. It follows her, swallowing everything in its wake¡­

    And just exactly how does she know how to make those weapons¡­ or arm Terran nukes for that matter?!?

    On second thought, that also made perfect sense. ss fiends naturally weave intricate webs of razor ss to murder the unwary. Ites as naturally as passing water through their gills. It¡¯s in their nature. Sheloran is no different.

    Well, if he can¡¯t save Craxina, he can at least save himself.

    He was <em>done</em>.

    He walked into his office, where his receptionist/office manager/only employee was ring at him.

    ¡°Craxina called,¡± she said angrily.

    ¡°Oh,¡± Baxlon replied, bracing himself, ¡°did she leave a message?¡±

    ¡°That she did,¡± she replied as she extended her middle fingers (or close enough). ¡°Here.¡±

    She threw a crystal at him, bouncing it off of his globe.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°My resignation!¡± his receptionist hissed, ring her spines. ¡°Sheloran has done more for thismunity and its people than you ever did, and this is how you repay her? You disgust me!¡±

    ¡°Cvarini!¡± Baxlon cried out as she kicked her perch back against the wall and stomped past him towards the exit.

    ¡°Save it,¡± she snapped (literally). ¡°Oh, and some slimy eels are in your office going through your things. I would have stopped them, but it seems that <em>loyalty</em> isn¡¯t a concern of yours.¡±

    She opened the door and walked out.

    ¡°Wait!!!¡± Baxlon wailed, ¡°Where are you going to go?¡±

    ¡°The Drop of Oil!¡± Cvarini growled, ¡°Craxina said she needs an office person. She offered me a raise, too!¡±

    Baxlon started to chase after her but heard a crashing sounding from his office. Yelling a piscine curse, he charged back inside.

    ***

    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Baxlon demanded of the three Kalent trashing his office. ¡°Get out before I call the police!¡±

    ¡°This is a matter of great importance for the Kalent people,¡± one of them said, pausing in its destruction.

    ¡°And this is the motherfucking Republic! Get out before I call the cops and have you all deported!¡±

    ¡°You care not for your people?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Baxlon shouted. ¡°Why should I?¡±

    ¡°How about me?¡± a strange voice issued from one of the bots. ¡°Have you lost your regard for us as well?¡±

    Baxlon froze, dipping his head downward. The lead Kalent reached into his bot, pulling out a small ornate speaker box.

    ¡°My lord,¡± Baxlon said respectfully, ¡°forgive me. I had no idea.¡±

    ¡°My overly enthusiastic disciples here are seeking information concerning a client of yours,¡± the voice said with amusement. ¡°You probably already know which one.¡±

    <em>Sheloran¡­ Please don¡¯t let it be Sheloran.</em> Baxlon silently prayed, knowing full well it could only be about her.

    ¡°What can you tell us about a th named¡­ Sheloran?¡± the voice asked in an avuncr yet verymanding tone.

    Baxlon just groaned. Of course¡­ Of fucking course...

    ***

    ¡°Listen here,¡± Judge Carter shouted at the smiling face on the monitor, ¡°Put me through to Judge Johnson right fucking now! This is <em>serious</em>, goddammit. Tell her that I know everything! She¡¯ll know what that means. Tell her to eithere to me or put herself under police protection <em>now</em>!¡±

    ¡°Judge Johnson is not avable at this time,¡± the man replied with a nd smile, ¡°Would you like to leave a message?¡±

    ¡°Tell that stupid bitch she has an hour to call me before I write a fucking warrant!¡± Judge Carter snarled as he mmed his metal fist onto his desk, shattering his keyboard (again) and terminating the call.

    ¡°Your honor,¡± a voice said as it entered his mind, ¡°Mr. Baxlon is here to see you.¡±

    ¡°Ah, the shitloach,¡± Judge Dredd smiled. Thank God for some normalcy, ¡°Send that bottom-feeder in.¡±

    A few momentster and Baxlon cautiously entered Judge Carter¡¯s chambers.

    Judge Carter smiled. At least he could fix this.

    ¡°I was wondering when your sorry ass woulde slithering in here,¡± Judge Carter growled in mock anger. ¡°Come in here to gloat or something?¡±

    Baxlon just sighed, blowing a few tiny bubbles.

    ¡°I¡¯ve already filed all of the paperwork,¡± Baxlon said quietly, ¡°But I decided I would save you the trouble of writing a summons and myself a second trip.¡±

    Judge Carter quickly essed the files.

    ¡°What the hell?¡± he spluttered, genuinely shocked.

    ¡°I am no longer Sheloran, nost name, species: th¡¯s, representation in this matter,¡± Baxlon said formally. ¡°I have no doubt that the court will be contacted by her newwyer, whoever that may be, shortly.¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± Judge Carter replied.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°This has to be signed by the court to be official, and I can personally guarantee you that won¡¯t happen¡­ until you tell me exactly why the fuck you would pass up a high-profile m dunk case.¡±

    ¡°That is a matter between myself and my client, who has signed the forms,¡± Baxlon replied curtly, ¡°Good day.¡±

    Baxlon turned and walked to the door, which made an ominous ¡°click¡±.

    ¡°Please open the door, Your Honor,¡±

    ¡°Not until you tell me exactly what the hell is going on, shitloach.¡±

    ¡°I am under no legal obligation to do so,¡± Baxlon said, his back still to Judge Carter, ¡°You <em>will</em> open this door, or I will file an ¡®illegal detention¡¯int.¡±

    <strong><em>Click</em></strong>

    Baxlon turned around at that unmistakable sound to see Judge Carter holding aicallyrge revolver pointed at him.

    ¡°Talk,¡± Judge Carter said calmly.

    ¡°Are you insane?!?¡± Baxlon shouted. ¡°Do you realize that you are <em>breaking thew</em> right now?¡±

    ¡°When thew is perverted,promised by the state,¡± Judge Carter said calmly, ¡°Then thew is as invalid as the state that corrupted it. There is no threat greater than a state that believes it is above thew and no greater crime than a man failing to oppose it.¡±

    Judge Carter leveled the revolver at Baxlon¡¯s rapidly darting body.

    ¡°This is a thirteen-millimeter ¡®Dragonyer¡¯, loaded with anti-armor rounds.¡± I know for a fact that this <em>specific</em> weapon will prate a Federation APC, because I shot the pilot of one. Don¡¯t think your wiggling will save you. Advanced fire control, motherfucker. That pilot was moving a lot faster than you are. Now, unless you want to be the first person I kill over this¡­ <em>Talk</em>.¡±

    Baxlon stopped darting around.

    ¡°And you still consider Sheloran my client?¡±

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Then I want immunity for any crimes I discuss during this, forck of a better word, ¡®interview¡¯.¡±

    ¡°You are under duress,¡± Judge Carter replied, ¡°It would be inadmissible anyway.¡±

    ¡°Not good enough, asshole,¡± Baxlon replied, ¡°It¡¯s immunity,plete and total, or you shoot me and learn <em>nothing</em>.¡±

    ¡°You prepared to die on this hill, guppy?¡±

    ¡°You prepared to further corrupt your preciousw?¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°Murder an innocent man? What are you, part of the forces that <em>have</em> corrupted thew or the one trying to preserve it? I ask you, ¡®Judge¡¯ Carter, is this a hill <em>you</em> are prepared to <em>murder</em> on? I do have something you want, but the only way you are going to get it is to give my client full immunity. After all, what¡¯s the worst she could have done, kill a few more raiders? Pirated a movie?¡±

    ¡°You do have a point,¡± Judge Carter did as he raised the barrel of his revolver, carefully lowering the hammer. ¡°Give me a minute...¡±

    ***

    Judge Carter roared withughter pounding his poor desk again and again until the reinforced top splintered the wooden legs.

    ¡°Oh sweet Jesus,¡± heughed as a port opened in the side of his visor, spraying out a viscous green liquid. ¡°I fucking needed that¡­. Holy shit¡­.¡±

    Baxlon sat there very, very still. Of all the reactions he nned for, this was NOT one he expected.

    ¡°You got me¡­ You fucking GOT me!¡± Judge Carter howled¡­ ¡°And yes, this document will pardon even that¡­ Bwahahahahaha!¡±

    Judge Carter broke down into giggles, actual giggles.

    ¡°Welp, There goes my career,¡± he chuckled as he finally caught his breath. ¡°Tell your client that she is clear of anything she has done before¡­ right now¡­ Just tell her to stop making weapons of mass destruction, please.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Your Honor,¡±

    ¡°You said the name of this organization is ¡®Cerberus¡¯ and that they are part of Research and Development?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what they told me,¡± Baxlon replied.

    ¡°And you said they had files that your gutless yellow-bellied hide refused to ept?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Your Honor.¡±

    ¡°Then, you are going to get those for me.¡±

    ¡°No, Your Honor.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Judge Carter said as he reached for his pistol again.

    ¡°Shoot me if you want, asshole,¡± Baxlon replied calmly. ¡°I ¡®died¡¯ the day my people exiled me. I don¡¯t expect <em>you</em> to understand, but I am truly ¡®dead¡¯. A few years one way or the other matters much less than how I die. A bullet from that cannon is far more merciful than what groups like that Cerberus will do to me. Trust me, I <em>know</em>.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough,¡± Judge Carter replied. ¡°This isn¡¯t your home, just your feeding trough. I shouldn¡¯t expect anything more from you than I already received. I guess I will just have to file a subpoena then¡­ and include how I found out about their name...¡±

    Baxlon stiffened.

    ¡°Get me the files, guppy.¡±

    ***

    Baxlon lowered his bot into therge ¡°indoor pool¡± in his apartment.

    What a day¡­

    His pet fish shoaled around him as he manually triggered the feeder.

    ¡°Some days I envy you guys, you know,¡± he said in his nativenguage as a particrly affectionate triggerfish snuggled him.

    He smiled.

    yfully dodging the fish, he made his way to a submerged terminal and shot off an email to Cvarini exining that in the end, he did NOT abandon Sheloran, or rather he is going to but not before he sprung her. He then offered fifteen percent above whatever Craxina was offering, apologized profusely, and said that he would be lost without her¡­

    Which wasn¡¯t that far from the truth.

    He then rebooted, loading a stealth operating system (a real Kalent one), and essed several dark boards, leaving an encrypted message that included the number for one of the several burner phones in his possession.

    He snorted. You might win against that asshole, but he always found a way to tear off a mouthful.

    He paused. He actually was ok with this. Whatever that Judge Johnson and this Cerberus were up to was definitely wrong. No matter how nasty this Cerberus might be, they were about to go up against motherfucking Judge Dredd.

    He had no doubt who was going to win, and they weren¡¯t named after a bitch.

    Suddenly a exploded up from the sand, entangling him and some of his fish.

    He felt a stabbing pain where one of the triggerfish reflexively shanked him as he was unceremoniously lifted up out of the water, gasping and struggling.

    Rough hands grabbed him, the gloves adhering to his skin, and the was released, freeing his belovedpanions.

    He was then roughly shoved back into the water, still stuck to the gloves.

    There was a ¡°plop¡± as a phone was dropped into the water with him.

    ¡°Good evening,¡± someone said in a cheerful, modted tone.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know where Sheloran is, goddammit!¡± Baxlon shouted.

    He was pulled out of the water again. His eyes, not used to being in air, could only make out the rough outline of what might be a woman with ck hair (or was it grey?).

    He struggled and gasped, held fast by those goddamn gloves.

    ¡°Fucking STOP IT!¡± he gasped once returned to the water.

    ¡°But you do know that she isn¡¯t in Tartarus, correct?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you fucker! She got sprung by¡­ shit...¡±

    ¡°By who?¡± the unnervingly cheerful voice inquired.

    ¡°By She Donovan!¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°She and her gang! They grabbed her when they broke someone else out. That other person was the real target! They just grabbed Sheloran, too, for absolutely no good reason, which makes <em>perfect</em> sense if you know Sheloran¡­ Look, just ask your questions, and I¡¯ll tell you everything I know. I¡¯m not getting tortured or killed over that¡­ <em>demon</em>.¡±

    ¡°Well, that makes things convenient,¡± the terrifyingly cheerful voice said. ¡°Tell us all about that little th...¡±

    ***

    ¡°... That¡¯s all I know¡­ I <em>swear</em>,¡± Baxlon said in an exhausted, pleading tone.

    ¡°One final question,¡± the¡­ <em>horrifyingly</em> cheerful voice said, ¡°Do you know how to contact Sheloran?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡­ <em>Please</em>¡­.¡±

    ¡°Then this is what you are going to do for me,¡± the <em>abyssal, void like</em> cheerful voice said, ¡°Tomorrow, you will go to the Drop of Oil, tell Craxina that you did help Sheloran after all, and beg forgiveness¡ª¡°

    ¡°Leave Craxi and the girls alone!¡± Baxlon shouted desperately, ¡°They have nothing to do with this¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about them,¡± the <em>swirling vortex</em> of a cheerful voice chirped, ¡°They are perfectly safe. We wouldn¡¯t want another diplomatic incident, now would we? However, they are useful. You <em>will</em> give Craxina the means with which she can contact her dear Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°If you hurt Craxina or any of them,¡± Baxlon shouted, ¡°<em>Sheloran</em> wille for all of you! I don¡¯t give a <em>fuck</em> how bad you think you might be. You will wind up <em>exactly</em> like the Harkeen!¡±

    ¡°Let me give you a tip,¡± the <em>Lovecraftian</em> cheerful voice bubbled, ¡°If someone like me is looking for their target, telling them that the target will show up if they hurt an innocent little being like Craxina isn¡¯t a terribly good idea. I think I could live with a diplomatic incident after all.¡±

    ¡°No! Please!!!¡±

    ¡°Then you will do exactly what I say and give that innocent little fluff a way to contact Sheloran. It¡¯s the only way to ensure their safety.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll do it!¡± Baxlon wailed. ¡°Just don¡¯t hurt them!¡±

    The gloves detached from Baxlon¡¯s skin, and grabbed the phone.

    Baxlon curled up in a tiny ball,forted by his pets, as the door to his apartment opened and closed.

    ***

    Judge Johnson stood beside her luxury grav-sedan, looking at her phone impatiently.

    A shadow broke away from the others in the night-shrouded forest and approached.

    ¡°You¡¯rete!¡± Judge Johnson snapped.

    ¡°Apologies,¡± the harmless looking young man said. ¡°I had a little something to take care of first.¡±

    ¡°I hope that ¡®little something¡¯ is that fucking Judge Dredd!¡± Judge Johnson snarled. ¡°Do you know he just put out a warrant on me?!?¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± thepletely harmless little man winced, ¡°Oh, that¡¯s terrible!¡±

    ¡°The whole operation could bepromised,¡± Judge Johnson snarled, ¡°and if I go down, <em>you</em> go down!¡±

    ¡°We would never let that happen,¡± the little mouse of a guy replied with a reassuring smile, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, we have everything taken care of. Judge Dredd has been handled.¡±

    ¡°Good!¡± Judge Johnson sneered, ¡°I hope he suffered.¡±

    ¡°I have no doubt that he does,¡± the utterly inoffensive guy replied.

    Judge Johnson wondered if he could even be a part of Cerberus. He probably wasn¡¯t a field agent. They wouldn¡¯t send one of those. They wouldn¡¯t want even her to see one.

    ¡°Oh, Judge,¡± the little wimp said, ¡°I have a question. Do you even remember me?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    The little puppy of a guy just smiled¡­

    Andunched a vicious kick upward into Judge Johnson¡¯s crotch.

    As Judge Johnson doubled over and her knees buckled, he grabbed her throat, mming her against the side of her sedan. His free hand shot into her waistband, pulling out a small semi-automatic and tossing it aside.

    ¡°Well, I remember you,¡± he snarled, revealing wickedly sharp teeth.

    He headbutted her, breaking her nose, as he reached into her jacket pocket and grabbed her phone, flipping it into the open window of her sedan.

    ¡°<em>You</em> were the one who told me about an ¡®exciting opportunity¡¯ that would greatly reduce my sentence,¡± he chuckled as he mmed her face first into the pavement and pulled out a set of hand-cuffs.

    ¡°You can¡¯t do this,¡± Judge Johnson managed to gasp as her wrists were savagely wrenched together. ¡°They¡ª¡°

    ¡°<em>They</em> are the ones who sent me, Your Honor,¡± the man, who still looked like a puppy (because it was funny), chuckled. ¡°Judge Carter is well regarded, <em>popr</em>, and well connected. He would be missed, looked for, and ultimately avenged. <em>You</em> might be well connected, but you are certainly not liked and will definitely not be missed.¡±

    Judge Johnson was roughly pulled to her feet as half-dozen other shadows emerged from the trees.

    ¡°And more importantly,¡± the kind looking person standing in front of her smiled, ¡°when Judge Carter goes through <em>your</em> documents¡­ well¡­ the ones <em>we</em> gave him, and finds out that you¡¯ve been diverting prisoners from the system and selling them to fucking xenos, people will be shocked, but not consumed with disbelief.¡±

    Behind them, the others were guiding in a shuttle thatnded nearby.

    ¡°When they follow the trail to an abandoned research facility in independent space,¡± the puppy smiled pleasantly, ¡°they will find (gasp)¡­ many of those prisoners¡­ well¡­ their dead bodies anyhow.¡±

    Judge Johnson just looked at him, blood streaming down her face, inplete shock.

    ¡°And (<em>oh no</em>)¡­ they will find out that <em>horrible</em> medical experiments were conducted on them!¡± The puppy said as he put his hands against his cheeks. ¡°There will be a manhunt, and they will find out that thest ce you were on the grid was¡­ <em>right here</em> next to where an unmarked shuttle took off! They will look and look for you, but¡­ they will never find you¡­ Because do you know where you are going?¡± The puppy said, his features turning wolf-like. ¡°Would you like to guess, <em>Your Honor</em>? I¡¯ll give you a hint. There are a <em>lot</em> of people who remember you there, and they <em>all</em> would like to thank you¡­ personally.¡±

    ¡°If you do this, you will <em>all</em> regret it!¡±

    ¡°You must be referring to your infamous ckmail folder,¡± the wolf-like man said as he loomed above her, ¡°Our intrusion specialists and hackers are already on it. See, they have a bet with <em>another</em> group of people. It¡¯s a race between them to see if they can find the files before <em>you tell us</em> where they are.¡±

    Judge Johnson¡¯s eyes widened in horror.

    ¡°You <em>will</em> tell us, Your Honor,¡± the wolfughed, ¡°These are the people they use to keep <em>us</em> in line. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a date. Off you go,¡± the werewolf-like monster chuckled, ¡°Have fun.¡±

    He turned to a ck haired woman (or was it dirty blonde?) as Judge Johnson¡¯s sedan was being pulled into the shuttle.

    ¡°I shall leave this to your expert hands,¡± he smiled.

    ¡°You¡¯re noting?¡± the brown haired woman said (no, it was definitely ck¡­ I think). ¡°It¡¯s going to be one hell of a party.¡±

    ¡°I got my licks in,¡± the perfectly normal looking guy replied, ¡°Besides, I have somewhere to be.¡±

    ¡°You are actually choosing that filthy whore over this?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact, I am,¡± the man smiled. ¡°And, Marta?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Call her a ¡®filthy whore¡¯ again, and I <em>will</em> kill you.¡±

    ¡°You got it... <em>boss</em>.¡± the woman smiled a genuine smile.

    It was pretty.

    The man smiled and disappeared back into the trees.

 Chapter 163: Federation Hijinks: Stowaway.

    Chapter 163: Federation Hijinks: Stowaway.

    ¡°Void turds!...¡± Vendel gasped, leaning against the wall. ¡°You guys ok?¡±

    ¡°Utilize your senses,¡± GhTuk rasped, ¡°What do they reveal?¡± he grumbled as he held half of his mandibr tes in his pedipalps.

    ¡°Thank¡­¡± Ytunn moaned as he leaned on a stun rifle for support, ¡°Thank the creators it is a juvenile.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a <em>juvenile</em>?!?¡± GhTuk clicked in shock as he looked at the prone figure in the corridor. ¡°If that¡¯s a juvenile, what is an adult like?¡±

    ¡°It¡­ <em>Oh, Creators,¡±</em> Ytunn moaned as he dropped his abdomen to the deck, ¡°It wouldn¡¯t have just been your teeth¡­ I think it broke something...¡±

    ¡°We need a medic to level fifteen, sub-section five, doorway 12J,¡± Vendel called out, holding a ck stic box. ¡°We have one crewman unconscious and multiple injuries.¡±

    ¡°But did you subdue it?¡± a crackly, static-filled voice responded.

    ¡°Yeah, we got it,¡± Vendel replied, wiping at a neon-green fluid that was leaking from his ¡°nose¡±. ¡°Took two hits, but the ancestor-defiling fornicator is subdued¡­ Oh great, my teeth are loose.¡±

    ¡°Somebody grab that spiral-threaded panel fastener before it awakens,¡± GhTuk rasped as it indicated arge, heavy boltying next to five outstretched fingers.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you do it?¡± Ytunn grumbled as heid down on the deck.

    ¡°Because I am upied with the endeavor of <em>holding my fornicating face on</em>,¡± GhTuk buzz growled.

    ¡°It¡¯s not waking up anytime soon,¡± Vendel, the least damaged of them, said as he leaned against the wall, gasping for breath.

    The human teen groaned softly, causing Vendel to lurch forward and kick the bolt away, sending it singing down the corridor.

    <strong>Zap</strong>

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that, Ytunn!¡± Vendel shouted.

    ¡°You want to court that beauty again?¡± Ytunn replied as he let the stunner droop, ¡°I shall not challenge you. You can have it all to yourself.¡±

    ¡°Shoot it again,¡± GhTuk buzzed, ¡°Just to be safe.¡±

    <strong>Zap</strong>

    ¡°Seriously, guys,¡± Vendel shouted as he grabbed the stunner. ¡°Stop it!¡­ Ow...¡± he said, clutching at his side as he snatched it.

    ***

    ¡°So how are the brave warriors,¡± arge portly looking ¡°mole rat¡± wearing a captain¡¯s uniform asked another of his kind.

    ¡°Fractures, soft-tissue injuries, GhTuk lost a mandibr te¡­ Uvyon has a rather nasty blow to his primary cognitive nexus. If he was one of us, I would call it a concussion.¡±

    ¡°A concussion?¡± the captain asked in rm.

    ¡°Uvyon¡¯s simple neurology has its benefits,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°It¡¯s far less of a concern for their kind. I consulted with Starshield, and it seems that it should resolve with little issue, though he will be away from his duties for at least a week, possibly longer. However, if we don¡¯t push him or, more importantly, don¡¯t allow him to push himself, he will likely be fine. I have the first few esction steps downloaded should more be required.¡±

    ¡°Thank the creators you were able to get through,¡± the captain replied, ¡°Dare I ask how?¡±

    ¡°Pirate ry,¡± the doctor shrugged, ¡°The Pirates of Lore have a direct link to Starshield now.¡±

    ¡°Strange days,¡± the captain chuckled. ¡°Did you grab anything of interest while you were there?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact, I did,¡± the doctor replied, pulling a crystal from his pocket. ¡°Actual uncensored news from independent space as well as the Republic and Empire and a few entertainment folders that I thought sounded interesting. There is some human animated programming that looks intriguing. I liked the colors.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, I¡¯ve heard about their animation,¡± the captain replied, ¡°What of our new ¡®guest¡¯?¡±

    ¡°A few scrapes and bruises, the worst of which was when his facial region impacted the deck tes,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°I had heard about the damage resistance and bludgeoning ability of a human¡¯s hands, but to be able to reinforce and add weight to one¡¯s fist by grasping a metal bolt without breaking the, forck of a better word, ¡®fingers¡¯ on the end of those¡­ ¡®wrists?¡¯¡­ Remarkable indeed.¡±

    ¡°I heard the crew got overly enthusiastic with the stunners,¡± the captain asked. ¡°Any concerns?¡±

    ¡°Once again, simplicity seems to be the better design,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°I was able to contact an actual human physician who reviewed the charts and said that there were no concerns.¡±

    The doctor chuckled.

    ¡°In fact, the physician was far more concerned with how the youth represented his species than anything he saw on the charts. He said to let him ¡®sleep it off¡¯ and rmended certainpounds easily synthesized from the precursors we have on hand should sedation be required.¡±

    ¡°What sort of physician did you consult?¡± The captainughed¡­ then stoppedughing. ¡°Doctor, please tell me you didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°What else was I supposed to do?¡± the ship¡¯s doctor demanded. ¡°Because of the multiple shots from the stunners, I had very real concerns, and I needed to consult with an expert on human biology as soon as possible. What better expert than an actual human physician? They were the first ones to respond.¡±

    The captain groan-whistled, causing the fringes around his mouth-nose to flutter as he pinched the soft tissue above the end of his elongated snout.

    ¡°Doctor,¡± he said as he squinted his eyes shut. ¡°during your well-intentioned <em>felony</em>, did it ever ur to you that you have just informed the <em>masturbating Forsaken</em> that <em>we have a captured human child on our ship</em>?¡­ Do you see the issue here?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it isn¡¯t what we would call a ¡®child¡¯,¡± the doctor replied, ¡°They said that it was in a transitory period between childhood and adulthood. Apparently, they have to do that conscious, the poor bastards.¡±

    ¡°Ok, then you told them that we have captured one of those,¡± the captain said as if he was exining how to cleanse one¡¯s anus.

    ¡°But we haven¡¯t ¡®captured¡¯ it,¡± the doctor said. ¡°We simply confronted it and requested that it apany our crewmen to an appropriate holding area for its safety and ours.¡±

    ¡°Doctor,¡± the captain said, his fringes billowing, ¡°while I understand the fine distinction between ¡®capturing a prisoner¡¯ and what you described, I seriously doubt a human would under the best of circumstances.¡±

    ¡°Oh dear,¡± the doctor said, his eyes widening, ¡°You don¡¯t think the humans think we are holding this member of their species against his will?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s review the situation, shall we?¡± the captain said, looking downward in an appeal to the kind undergods, ¡°We detected the stowaway and sent a few crewmen, armed with stunners for their protection, to contact our unexpected passenger and ask that they apany them, correct?¡±

    ¡°Right!¡± the doctor replied, ¡°I mean, we¡¯ve been underway for quite some time. I don¡¯t know what a human¡¯s metabolism is like (Drat! I really should have asked.), but I can only imagine that it¡¯s hungry. Oh, great worm! I forgot to ask what they eat! What if we don¡¯t have something suitable?¡±

    ¡°Doctor, focus,¡± the captain said sternly. ¡°And <em>then</em> what happened?¡±

    ¡°It just attacked our men!¡± the doctor eximed, ¡°Completely unprovoked!¡­ Do you think this is a result of this ¡®adolescence¡¯ that the human physician spoke of?¡±

    ¡°You are incorrect,¡± the captain replied. ¡°It initially tried to run, but Imanded the hatches towards the machinery and cargo spaces sealed, which seemed to be its destination. Once it realized that it couldn¡¯t <em>flee</em>, it <em>attacked</em>, throwing itself upon our crew with the intent to cause real injury¡­ and did a pretty good job of it.¡±

    ¡°Bah! That makes no sense at all,¡± the doctor huffed. ¡°Do you think it is mentally ill? Perhaps psychosis brought on by hunger¡­ or this adolescence? That <em>can¡¯t</em> be pleasant.¡±

    The captain pinched the soft spot behind his snout again as he resisted the desire toy his ¡°digging hands¡± on the doctor.

    ¡°Violence,¡± the captain said in a strained voice as his de foot slowly ground against the deck tes, ¡°can be inspired by the oddest things, doctor¡­ How long have you been a spacer, doctor?¡±

    ¡°This is my first trip!¡± the doctor snooted, his fringes fluttering excitedly, ¡°I guess it¡¯s that senescence madness you hear of! I got tired of myfortable, boring practice and myfortable, boring life and¡­ erm¡­ myfortable, boring spouse¡­ and...¡±

    The captain clenched his tooth as the doctor prattled on. It was the height of discourtesy to interrupt someone, especially when they were answering a question. Since the humans <em>who were definitely on the way</em> weren¡¯t here yet, the ship wasn¡¯t on fire, or there wasn¡¯t another human prowling his ship, he had little choice but to listen to this mud scratcher tell him his masturbating life story.

    ¡°¡­ and I must say!¡± the doctor eximed, ¡°It has been quite the adventure thus far!¡±

    ¡°Thanks to you, doctor,¡± the captain smiled through clenched tooth, ¡°the adventure is just starting. When you get a moment, do yourself a favor. While we don¡¯t havework ess, we do have a small archive of information relevant to day-to-day operations. That includes hazards. Go to the archive and look up ¡®The Confederacy of Sol¡¯. In particr, I would like for you to run a query on ¡®The ck Angels¡¯, ¡®The Dragons¡¯, ¡®The Long Shanks¡¯, and ¡®Knife Children¡¯. Those are some of the groups that make up this confederacy, and this confederacy is what forms the backbone of this new ¡®Forsaken¡¯ movement. It¡¯s led by a human named ¡®Jessica Morgan¡¯. You know what, doctor, do some reading on her too. Those are the <em>nice people</em> that you have invited to our ship. They have the most <em>interesting</em> customs. You should brush up on them as well so you can make a nice impression when they board.¡±

    ¡°Oh, how exciting!¡± the doctor enthused, ¡°I shall do so once I attend to my patients.¡±

    ¡°You do that,¡± the captain clenched, ¡°And I shall go and prepare our ship to greet these delightful people.¡±

    ¡°Grr-hu-hu-hu,¡± GhTuk snickered darkly as the captain walked past.

    ¡°How bad is it, Gh?¡± the captain asked.

    ¡°I can walk and hold a ster,¡± GhTuk replied quietly as the doctor fussed over the human. ¡°You think they arein¡¯?¡±

    ¡°You know what they say, Gh,¡± the captain snorted, ¡°the void hungers. Just rest for now. Who knows, maybe we¡¯ll be lucky, and it will be the Wraiths or the Beltkin.¡±

    ¡°Or maybe nobody at all?¡± GhTuk rasped.

    ¡°You spank!¡± the captain snorttooted, ¡°Now you¡¯ve gone and jinxed us.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Thank you for reaching out to us, Captain...¡± a smartly dressed man said as he concentrated and took a deep breath.

    ¡°My Federation name is ¡®Plok¡¯,¡± the captain said helpfully.

    ¡°Captain Plok,¡± the man smiled. ¡°That certainly makes things easier.¡±

    ¡°And the mostmon mispronunciation of my name causes great amusement among my crew,¡± the captain said, hoping to keep things light.

    ¡°I know your pain,¡± the man smiled, ¡°My surname is Butz. In ournguage, it sounds much like themon name for our posteriors.¡±

    ¡°If only I was so fortunate,¡± the captain said, trying (and failing) to mimic a human smile.

    It looked like an aggressive fleshlight.

    The human snorted faintly.

    That was encouraging! The captain tried to widen his smile.

    The human coughed and blinked.

    ¡°Firstly,¡± the captain said emphatically, ¡°I want to stress that we have absolutely no intention of handing the human over to the Federation! On the contrary, we want to return it to its own kind as soon as possible, preferably to an area free of contagion. I understand you have ¡®clean¡¯ ships?¡±

    ¡°We do,¡± the human replied.

    ¡°And I would also like to state that we did not intend to engage the human¡­ ad-low-ess-cent¡­ inbat. I just could not allow it to enter our vital machinery spaces or the cargo hold, for its own safety¡­ <em>especially</em> the cargo hold.¡±

    ¡°What are you transporting, Captain?¡±

    ¡°We are just a bulk freighter,¡± the captain replied as casually as he could manage. ¡°We haul various ¡®food safe¡¯ cargoes such as grains, processed food precursors, algae and raw seaweeds, dare to dream produce every now and then, we also have refrigeration capacity that allows transporting of perishable goods. We will take just about anything that won¡¯t contaminate us, though. Right now, we have a mixed food-grade byproduct load that we are transporting to Halbe for delivery.¡±

    ¡°Ah,¡± the human smiled, ¡°Lips and assholes.¡±

    ¡°Pardon?¡± the captain replied, thoroughly confused.

    ¡°Halbe does a lot of meat processing. I assume it¡¯s scraps, parts of livestock not otherwise utilized, and the like.¡±

    ¡°Their customers should be so fortunate,¡± the captainughed. The human joined him for a bit.

    This was going well! The captain ¡°smiled¡± again, triggering a cough from the human. Their cargo was utterly worthless. There was no way these (let¡¯s be honest here) pirates would be interested in a freighter full of marginally edible ¡°food¡±.

    ¡°And you didn¡¯t want the human contaminating it?¡± the man on the screen said, ¡°understandable.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m not worried about that,¡± the captain replied, ¡°This is stuff that we would use forpost. It¡¯s for the human¡¯s safety!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t follow.¡±

    ¡°We have murder-borers down there!¡± the captain eximed. ¡°Those things are dangerous!¡±

    ¡°...<em>Why?</em>¡±

    ¡°We haul a lot of bulk crap, open crates of unprocessed, half spoiled produce, and you don¡¯t even want to know what else. No matter how hard we try, vermin always gets in, and it doesn¡¯t take long for a ship to fill up with gynt, hyper-roaches, yul;ktan, or any of literally hundreds of vermin species that gue the Federation. The borers can dig through the bulk and will well¡­ murder¡­ anything they can find. They will eat damn near anything but prefer ¡®flesh¡¯. We¡¯ve kept them since ancient times in our warrens both for hunting and to do exactly what we are using them for today. If you don¡¯t know how to handle them, they <em>will</em> kill you.¡±

    ¡°We had species or two like that ourselves,¡± the human smiled. ¡°Unfortunately, they were¡­ edible...¡±

    ¡°oh...¡±

    ¡°Some survived, and others have been ¡®resurrected¡¯...¡±

    <em>Resurrected?</em> the captain thought to himself. He decided not to ask.

    ¡°Their numbers have blossomed in the Republic, but they are still expensive rarities among our people¡­ And once again, a luxury we likely will not be able to afford.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± the captain honestly said. What the humans have faced¡­

    ¡°Eh, I prefer my ss crab, anyhow. Barely eats and is a friendly enough little guy. They are native to Raylesh. See?¡±

    An image of a surprisinglyrge crab with bright iridescent multicolored shell segments appeared on the screen.

    It never failed to amaze the captain when he saw a crab. Why that particr type of creature was somon was beyond him. Those things were <em>everywhere</em>, not the same species, of course. They were always different gically, but when you looked at them, yep. It¡¯s a crab.

    ¡°That¡¯s natural?¡± the captain asked incredulously.

    ¡°Yep. Nobody¡¯s sure why.¡±

    ¡°Amazing.¡±

    ¡°So back to business,¡± the human said as the crab disappeared. ¡°You have a human. We want said human. Send me your route, and you will be contacted by a ship somewhere along it where we will offload the stowaway if we can. If I could impose,¡± the human said, ¡°would you consider harboring him if needed? We would love to individually rescue each and every human, but that might not be possible. Needless to say, your assistance in this matter would be deeply appreciated¡­ and would reflect well both on your ship and on your people.¡±

    ¡°We would be delighted,¡± the captain replied, knowing exactly what that meant (and was very delighted indeed), ¡°and this is a very big ship with lots of hiding ces. We can keep him out of the way for a bit.¡±

    ¡°Wonderful,¡± the guy replied. ¡°We will see if your path intersects a ship or if one of your destinations is ¡®friendly.¡¯ As our way of saying thanks, if you would provide your transponder data and update us on your movements, we can ensure that you don¡¯t¡­ run into any difficulties in the future.¡±

    ¡°We will!¡± the captain snootled and gave the human a great big ¡°smile¡±.

    ¡°<em>Snerk!</em> We have received your information, and you will be hailed, or a message will be sent through the shado. Are you familiar with how to set that up?¡±

    ¡°I will be!¡± the captain ¡°grinned¡±.

    ¡°Oh dear God,¡± the man coughed. ¡°Farewell.¡±

    ¡°And the Gods be with you too!¡± the captain snooted.

    <em>Sometimes things do work out, after all!</em>

    ***

    And things continued to work out for the captain as well!

    The first ¡°nice¡± thing to happen was the notification that the doctor had locked himself in the archives and refused toe out.

    <em>Good</em>, the captain thought, his fringe ring out in a sneer. ¡°Wee to the gxy, sperm-waster,¡± he chuckled to himself.

    He decided he would let him try to burrow through titanium for a little while longer yet.

    Then, things got even better!

    No sooner than he informed his <em>very</em> relieved crew that they weren¡¯t going to be the guests of honor at a ¡®barbecue¡¯ was he called to the bridge.

    He was being hailed¡­ by an unidentified ship!

    The kind undergods must have heard his plea! He¡¯d be rid of that human (and reaping the benefits of cooperation) before the insane half-adult awoke!

    He rushed to his quarters, strapped on his ceremonial tunnel sword, not worn since his discharge from the SDF entirely too long ago. Fortunately, the belt had <em>just</em> enough length to handle his¡­ enhanced figure. (Had he ever been that trim?)

    The humans respected such things, right?

    Then, sword pping all over the ce, he rushed to the bridge¡­

    <em>Something was wrong.</em>

    Everyone was utterly silent¡­ stiff¡­

    <em>Terrified</em>

    He looked at the screen, and his blood <em>froze</em>.

    Sitting there, sprawledzily in the captain¡¯s chair, was a young(?) human with long silky yellow-gold strands streaming down from the top of her head.

    The ¡°hair¡± (well, that¡¯s what he called his) was quite pretty, but that¡¯s not what grabbed his attention.

    The human¡¯s jacket was open.

    Underneath was only a ¡°harness¡± of cloth covering the upper third of her torso and the two lumps that identified it as female.

    On her exposed lower abdomen was the <em>one thing</em> that no spacer ever wanted to see...

    The mark of The ck Angels.

    <em>Oh¡­ no...</em> The captain could hear the void <emughing</em> at him.

    ¡°Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!¡± the human howled its fearsome battle cry.

    The captain raised to his full height (about 4/5 average human) and drew his de, raising it outward in an invitation.

    Every spacer knows that the void always wins in the end.

    Every captain knows that any day could be his crew¡¯sst.

    Today was that day.

    Trying to keep his snout firm, he then raised his de in front of himself.

    ¡°You may win, harbinger of death,¡± the captain said firmly, ¡°But by the hunger of the <em>void</em>, you will know that we were here!¡±

    The captain then gave that ck Angel the biggest ¡°smile¡± he could muster.

    The ck Angel looked stunned, perhaps taken aback by his disy of bravery.

    It then started howling like the animal it was.

    ¡°Hooowlleyshiiiit!¡± It bayed, ¡°HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! <em>OhgodImgonnapeeeeeee!</em>¡± it howled, invoking the demons of the void itself.

    ¡°Wha?¡± it growled, looking at someone off-screen. ¡°Oh¡­ Shit¡­ Sorry dude...¡± the devourer of flesh said in a surprisingly friendly tone.

    ¡°Rx, captain,¡± the monster said, ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m an Angel, but I¡¯m flying under Morgan¡¯s banner at the moment. I¡¯m not here looking for trouble. We¡¯re just interested in the human. Swear upon the honor of Jessica Morgan, the Angels, and upon the Shay name. You y nice, we y nice. You might not trust the angels, but you <em>can</em> trust Jessica Morgan and the Forsaken.¡±

    The captain sheathed his de and drew back his de foot as he bowed, keeping his snout pointed at the screen.

    The ck Angel rose, drew herbat knife, raised it to her forehead, and sheathed it, snapping the catch closed.

    ¡°And bonus points for steel, captain,¡± the horror smiled. ¡°Too bad we aren¡¯t ying today. I bet you guys would have been fun.¡±

    ¡°Ick your blood thirst,¡± the captain replied, ¡°or bravado as the case may be.¡±

    The ck Angel snorted a surprisingly nice snort. ¡°I like you. I hope you don¡¯t turn out to be a dick.¡±

    The screen went ck.

    The captain slumped against a console, steadying himself, and then staggered off of the bridge a <em>fucking legend!</em>

    ***

    The captain tried to keep his head up and his shuffle confident as he made his way through the corridors to the cheers of his crew.

    He nodded, rippled his fringe, and even drew his sword in salute a few times to the general delight of everyone.

    When he finally made it to his quarters, he locked the door, threw off the sword, and crawled under his bed, pulling the nket along with him and wrapping it around his head.

    Did he actually do what he thought he did?

    Was he crazy? That monster would have literally <em>eaten</em> him!

    He snootled to himself in theforting close darkness of his nket burrow.

    <em>And the void is denied one more day...</em> the thought in amusement.

    ¡°Captain...¡± GhTuk¡¯s voice called through the static of their crappyms. ¡°You need to get down here to the med bay right now.¡±

    It didn¡¯t sound good.

    His nose reluctantly poked out from underneath the nket.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on.¡±

    ¡°The human is awake.¡±

    ¡°Is hebatative?¡±

    ¡°Not anymore,¡± GhTuk replied, ¡°We got him calmed down before it got ugly. That¡¯s not the problem.¡±

    ¡°Then what is?¡±

    ¡°He isn¡¯t alone. He has a kid sister.¡±

    ¡°Oh, wring my sack...¡±

    ¡°Care to guess where she is¡­ right now¡­¡± GhTuk buzzed grimly, ¡°Go ahead, Cap. Guess.¡±

    <em>With that ck Angel on the way...</em>

    The captain burst out from underneath his bed, threw open a panel, and grabbed a heavy ster rifle.

    He was sprinting out of the door momentster.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± the human (his name was Marv) asked in rm as he was rushed through the corridors, along with the captain and a dozen crewmen, all armed with either stunners or actual sters. The murder-borers recognized the stunners. Their appearance was usually enough.

    ¡°Oh, nothing,¡± the captain lied, shing Marv a reassuring ¡°smile¡± (he was getting good at those).

    Marv winced, squinting his eyes pleasantly, indicating a rxed, trusting state.

    ¡°We just want to get your sister out of that nasty hold and both of you some food and water, that¡¯s all,¡± the captain continued.

    ¡°Bullshit,¡± Marv replied,ing to a stop.

    ¡°I know not this word,¡± the captain said, smiling again.

    ¡°Jesus, dude,¡± Marv winced. ¡°Now tell me exactly what the fuck is going on and why you are packing actual heat.¡±

    ¡°Heat?¡±

    ¡°He means the sters,¡± GhTuk buzzed, his mandibr te hastily glued on. (not his first rodeo¡­ or fight for that matter)

    ¡°Marv,¡± the captain said firmly, ¡°I need you to keep calm and not be violent. Can you do that for me?¡±

    ¡°WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?¡± Marv shouted as he grabbed the captain, clearly demonstrating that he was not likely to remain calm nor likely to refrain from violence.

    ¡°Lower your weapons!¡± the captain shouted at his rmed crewmen.

    Surprisingly, Marv calmed down rather quickly and released the captain.

    ¡°Marv,¡± the captain said, ¡°We are going into the cargo hold to get your sister. We are bringing these weapons because the cargo hold is not safe. Nobody is supposed to go in there except for the bots. There are very dangerous creatures prowling in that area, and you <em>must</em> remain calm and take us to your sister <em>immediately</em>. Her safety depends on it.¡±

    <em>And ours,</em> the captain thought.¡± <em>Here, murderdy, we have one of them but let our pets eat the little one, my apologies...</em>

    ¡°You mean the rat-dogs?¡±

    ¡°Ratt¡­ dogues?¡±

    ¡°About ¡®this¡¯ big?¡± Marv asked, holding his hand roughly waist high, ¡°long tails, little poofy noses?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve encountered them?!?¡± the captain said, looking at the human not-adult. He didn¡¯t seem injured. Then again, humans did have a fearsome reputation¡­

    ¡°Yeah, they¡¯re great!¡± Marv replied. ¡°Just like the dogs in the holo. My sis is crazy about them. She always wanted a dog. Can we have one?¡±

    ¡°Your¡­ sister?¡± the captain stammered.

    ¡°She¡¯s probably with them right now,¡± Marv said cheerfully. They won¡¯t let her out of their sight.

    ¡°YOU LEFT HER WITH THEM?!?¡± the captain shouted, grabbing Marv and mming him against the wall. He knew <em>exactly</em> why they paying his small tender sister so much attention¡­

    ¡°Men, with me!¡± the captain said as he shoved Marv. ¡°You! Take us to her NOW!¡±

    ***

    The captain charged through the rather filthy cavernous hold like his life and the life of his crew depended on it¡­

    Because it <em>did</em>.

    Marv, now quite rmed, wasted no time leading the captain and his team into a dark corner where a titanium panel had a hole torn in it.

    ¡°Vee?¡± Marv shouted.

    ¡°What?...¡± a distant but somewhat annoyed voice replied. ¡°You woke up, Binky.¡± the voice used.

    ¡°See?¡± Marv said, looking at the captain like he was an idiot. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I let you assholes get me all worked up¡­ and touch me again, motherfucker...¡±

    ¡°Vee?¡± Marv called, ¡°C¡¯mon out. Everything¡¯s cool.¡±

    ¡°Coming!¡±

    A few momentster, the scrabbling of many ws and a chorus of malicious-sounding hisses could be heard.

    The captain and his men backed away, leveling their weapons at the hole.

    ¡°That¡¯s my sister!¡± Marv yelled, stepping between the crew and the opening.

    ¡°...sorry...¡± the captain said as they held their weapons at the ready.

    Soon dozens of what appeared to be abination of dog, possum, and mole poured out of the opening, confronting the crew, hissing menacingly.

    Following them was a rather grubby child, clutching one of their young, its tail wrapped around her arm.

    ¡°Can I keep it?¡± the girl asked, ¡°Pleeeeeese?¡±

    ***

    The girl absolutely refused to leave her ¡°puppies,¡±¡­ so the captain just hung around, stunner at the ready.

    He couldn¡¯t have forced the child anyway. She had a pack of those little killers in a perimeter around her, letting nobody but Marv pass.

    Besides, it was the ¡°voidiest¡± thing he¡¯d ever seen¡­ He made a point of filming it because nobody would ever believe what was happening.

    The captain watched in disbelief, shaking his head as these feral monsters nuzzled and groomed the human child, letting her paw them, even rolling over on their backs and letting her give them ¡°blubbies,¡± which had the child bury her face into the oily matted fur of the monsters and blowing making well¡­ ¡°blubby¡± noises.

    The beasts liked Marv as well¡­

    but they <em>loved</em> that human child.

    ¡°Perhaps they recognize their own?¡± GhTuk rasped.

    ¡°BeHave!¡± the girl said firmly as she held arge basket of food. ¡°You have to wait your turn!¡±

    The creatures obeyed, and each took a treat from her in turn.

    ¡°Unprecedented...¡± the captain muttered. He had watched those things rip each other¡¯s throats out for half as much as that girl was <em>holding in her unprotected hand</em>.

    If they had to feed those things, which was rare, they would just sling in the food and run.

    ¡°Now, I¡¯ve seen everything...¡± the captain muttered.

    ¡°You spank,¡± GhTuk rasped, ¡°Now you¡¯ve jinxed us!¡±

    ***

    ¡°So, how much for the lot?¡± The ck Angel asked after she arrived, with a relievingck of murder.

    ¡°The humans are yours,¡± the captain, sword back on (like he could actually do anything with it).

    ¡°Not the humans, the puppies!¡±

    ¡°The¡­ murder-borers?¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± The ck Angel said as she fed one of them a strip of raw meat. They loved that (and the person doling it out)

    The captain noticed that they were exceptionally generous with the meat¡­ a very high dor luxury¡­

    The conclusion he came to was not a pleasant one.

    ¡°You can have them as well!¡± the captain eximed as another ragged lump of flesh was tossed to one of the ¡°ratdogs¡± in the back.

    ¡°You sure?¡± the golden-haired demon asked. ¡°I¡¯m actually not being a pirate this time¡­ and I have a LOT of cash from the times that I was.¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ (ahem)¡­ I¡¯m sure...¡± the captain said nervously. ¡°They aremon enough on my homeworld.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± the fiend asked happily, her eyes shining happily (oh void... he looked at her eyes!¡­ again¡­ shudder)

    ¡°Yes¡­ really!¡± the captain snootsqueaked.

    ¡°Well, captain,¡± the monster bearing the mark of the devil said happily, ¡°we might be in touch concerning a little purchase then!¡±

    ¡°Looking!¡± the captain squeaked¡­ ¡°(ahem), I look forward to your custom.¡±

    ¡°Ok, you two,¡± the golden-haired raider with naked singrities for eyes said cheerfully. ¡°Grab your pups, and let¡¯s bounce!¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡± The girl said as she grabbed a small backpack (and Binky) and hopped up.

    Marv also gathered his things but looked at the human captain warily, avoiding her gaze.

    The captain wondered if he was actually doing these two young humans a favor¡­ not that he had a choice.

    ¡°So, Marv,¡± the golden-haired Angel asked as she wrapped her arm around him.

    Marv froze.

    ¡°Tell me, <em>Marv</em>,¡± the fiend grinned, ¡°how do you feel about¡­ brooms?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I love them?¡±

    ¡°Right answer!¡± the fiendughed. ¡°Woooooooooooo! Brooooooooms!¡±

    All of the murder borers raised their snouts, letting out a hissing wail.

    ¡°I <em>fucking LOVE</em> these things!¡± the terrifying human cheered.

    ¡°Wooooooooooooooo!¡±

    ¡°Hiisiiisiisisooososissiiscsisiissssaaaarrraarrrrrsss!¡±

 Chapter 164: Shelias Last Resort and Karashel Slimes the Slope

    Chapter 164: Shelia''s Last Resort and Karashel Slimes the Slope

    ¡°And one final thing,¡± She said to her crew as they lounged on the bridge, ¡°I know she¡¯s cute and all but keep your eye on Sheloran. I don¡¯t know what her deal is, but I do know she can get on top of you before you can blink.¡±

    ¡°Dare to dream, right Eno?¡± Gloria smirked.

    ¡°Could you <em>please</em> take a break from being aplete <em>bitch</em> just this once?¡± Eno growled dangerously. Good ol¡¯ Eno was as nice as could be¡­ riiiiight up until he wasn¡¯t.

    You didn¡¯t want to see that. He was in the crew for a reason. Only Gloria had the balls to really fuck with him.

    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s a bitch,¡± She said, ¡°but that bitch has a point. Eno, you are a great guy, but this might not be the time for, pardon the pun, your ¡®white knight¡¯ routine. I don¡¯t expect there to be any real trouble. If I did, I wouldn¡¯t let that thing prowl around so freely¡­ but¡­ and I¡¯m not saying there <em>will</em> be trouble, but <em>if</em> there is¡­¡±

    ¡°There won¡¯t be!¡± Eno snapped.

    ¡°I know¡­ I know...¡± She said reassuringly, ¡°But, <em>if</em> there is, don¡¯t get in front of my shot, alright? That¡¯s all I¡¯m saying.¡±

    ¡°You would shoot me?¡±

    ¡°Of course not, dipshit!¡± She snorted as she tossed back a beer, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t take the shot, and that little blue demon would kill both of us¡­ You <em>did</em> watch the snuff flick, right? If she goes ¡®pop,¡¯ we had all better be on our game.¡±

    ¡°She won¡¯t go ¡®pop¡¯ if <em>Gloria</em> wouldn¡¯t try so hard to make it happen!¡± Eno snarled usingly.

    ¡°And one point for the white knight,¡± She smirked. ¡°Gloria, stop fucking with the frog, got it?¡±

    Gloria muttered something under her breath.

    <em>¡±Got it?¡±</em>

    ¡°Yeah, yeah,¡± Gloria grumbled, ¡°I¡¯ll leave little miss pissy pants alone¡­ Christ¡­ That fucking thing is getting on myst nerve.¡±

    ¡°What do you have against Sheloran, anyway?¡± Lorna asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s her whole¡­ act...¡± Gloria smirked, ¡°I just want to sell coffee,¡± she said in a whiny voice, ¡°I¡¯m not a <em>bad person</em>!¡± Gloria wailed, holding her hands to her cheeks, ¡°Oh, I¡¯m soooo¡­ <em>pooping</em> scared Eno¡­ Hold me!¡­ Finger my gills!¡± Gloria gasped as she lunged at Eno wrapping her arms around him,ughing as Eno bounced her off the floor.

    ¡°SHE NEVER ASKED ME TO FINGER ANYTHING!!!¡± Eno bellowed. ¡°The only thing she has ever done is hold my hand!¡± Eno eximed and then groaned. He knew what was about to happen.

    ¡°OooooOOooooo!¡± Gloria crooned suggestively, ¡°You two are up to hand holding already?¡±

    ¡°Gloria!¡± She snapped. ¡°Stop baiting Eno. Eno, stop simping over the frog. It¡¯s weird.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯M NOT SIM¡­¡± Eno bellowed as everyone burst intoughter, ¡°You know what? Fuck all of you!¡±

    Eno rose to leave.

    ¡°Ok, ok...¡± She said reassuringly, ¡°I¡¯m sorry Eno. Come back, please,¡± she said trying to keep a straight face. ¡°I won¡¯t fuck with you anymore, I promise. We might have a vote.¡±

    Eno sat back down, ring at Gloria.

    ¡°And Gloria,¡± She added, ¡°don¡¯t forget what happenedst time you pushed Eno just a bit too far. We might be stuck out here for a while, and we don¡¯t need to be wasting medical supplies.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡± Lorna whispered to Jacob.

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell youter,¡± Jacob whispered back, ¡°Let¡¯s just say you <em>don¡¯t</em> want Eno to go Yellowstone, trust me.¡±

    ¡°Next item,¡± She said, looking at the tablet, ¡°repairs. We have the seconding ofbat spacecraft sitting in our hold and a pilot who really needs to kill something.¡±

    ¡°Our shipbuilders are in Sol,¡± Greg replied, ¡°and we are about as hot as you can get. How bad is it, Bunny?¡±

    ¡°Bad,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°They have <em>covered</em> the Barnard¡¯s Star system in drones, and I mean <em>covered</em> it. There are <em>thousands</em> of them flying constant patrols. Nothing is getting in or out without tripping hundreds of alerts. Sol is even <em>worse</em>. The whole fleet is mobilized. They are flying patrols everywhere. Every port, every shipyard, even little mom and pop junkyards are getting regr visits.¡±

    ¡°What about the Kuiper Belt?¡± She asked.

    ¡°They are even out there,¡± Jessie chirped. ¡°That¡¯s where the battleships and carriers are.¡±

    ¡°Even Eris?¡±

    ¡°The <em>Retribution</em> is hovering right on top of it.¡±

    ¡°New Tokyo?¡±

    ¡°The <em>Alduin.</em>¡±

    ¡°Makemake?¡±

    ¡°The <em>Sovngarde</em>,¡± Jessie replied. ¡°I¡¯m telling ya, the Navy is out there in <em>force</em>. It¡¯s so bad that the Kuipers are letting them¡­ Oh, and they are <em>pissed</em> at us, too. They me us for bringing the heat down on them.¡±

    ¡°What they aren¡¯t blockading,¡± Bunny said, ¡°they are flying regr patrols over. Turns out they even knew about ces we didn¡¯t think they did.¡±

    ¡°What about the scattered disk?¡± She asked. ¡°They <em>can¡¯t</em> have all of that covered.¡±

    ¡°Stiletto squadrons and trawlers,¡± Jessie replied. ¡°I think we kinda pissed them off¡­ and our ¡®friends¡¯ say that they think Gloria¡¯s reaper was built in the Sol System, which it was. They also figure she¡¯s going to need serious repairs, which she does.¡±

    ¡°What about the builders?¡± She asked.

    ¡°They got a visit,¡± Bunny said, ¡°but they are pros, and nothing was found. They aren¡¯t getting any more heat than anyone else, but <em>any</em> shipbuilder or repair specialist has eyes on them. They have a drone hovering outside their shop, like every other shop in the system.¡±

    ¡°They say that they might be able to sneak out a few people,¡± Jessie chirped, ¡°But it¡¯s going to cost us big time.¡±

    ¡°Well, if they can do it,¡± She replied, ¡°we¡¯ll pay them.¡±

    ¡°What about the Oort cloud?¡± Gloria asked impishly.

    ¡°No!¡± She eximed, ¡°Just¡­ no¡­ Not them.¡±

    ¡°They have a shipyard,¡± Gloria said with a wolfish grin.

    ¡°And they think the universe is 7,000 years old!¡±

    ¡°And you <em>know</em> the Navy isn¡¯t there.¡±

    ¡°Remember what happened to Jacob?¡± She eximed, ¡°We almost didn¡¯t get him back!¡±

    ¡°Pedo,¡± Gloria smirked.

    ¡°She said she was eighteen!¡± Jacob shouted defensively.

    ¡°Bruh,¡± Lorna said disapprovingly, her eyebrow nearly reaching escape velocity, <em>¡°Seriously?¡±</em>

    ¡°And what did we learn?¡± She chuckled.

    ¡°When someone feels the need to volunteer the fact that they are eighteen without you asking,¡± Jacob sighed, ¡°they aren¡¯t...¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Her family will break out the shotguns...¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Can we <em>please</em> drop this?¡± Jacob said, flushing bright red.

    ¡°Ok, lover boy,¡± She smirked, ¡°Just keep it in your pants this time.¡±

    ¡°Or at least wait until recess,¡± Greg snickered.

    Jacob sighed and hung his head.

    ¡°She <em>looked</em> eighteen...¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s why we paid them off,¡± She replied. ¡°Otherwise, we would have left you with your new family. <em>Man</em>, were they hungry for some fresh genes or what?¡±

    She turned to Jessie.

    ¡°There <em>has</em> to be another option. If the builders can give the Navy the slip,¡± She asked, ¡°what about taking them out of the system?¡±

    ¡°Any other shop in the Republic is covered. Even the mining outposts.¡±

    ¡°The Empire?¡±

    ¡°They are cooperating with the Republic,¡± Jessie said as she looked at her tablet. ¡°We have a lot of supporters, but the Empire doesn¡¯t like nuke-slinging vigntes all that much either, and they don¡¯t want a Barnard¡¯s Star level shoot out spilling over onto their well-manicuredwn. We <em>might</em> be ok, but they have a lot of agents prowling about and have us, and our genomes, all over the ce.¡±

    ¡°What about the <em>Vengeance</em>?¡± She asked hopefully, ¡°Have you talked to Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa?¡±

    ¡°We aren¡¯t wee,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°They see the heat we are bringing down and don¡¯t want that following us there. Kolvac¡¯¡¯ksa says he wishes us victory and hopes that we can do business again¡­ someday¡­ other than today. He was really nice about it,¡± Bunny added. ¡°Can¡¯t me them. If the Republic followed us to a <em>Republic</em> hulk...¡±

    ¡°Oh fuck me...¡± She grumbled as she facepalmed, ¡°Ok¡­ T?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al asked, looking up from his tea.

    ¡°It¡¯s going to be a tough jump,¡± She said. ¡°There is a gravity well, but it¡¯s <em>shallow</em>. You are literally aiming at a big snowball.¡±

    ¡°Not a problem,¡± T¡¯sunk¡¯al said as he sipped his tea. ¡°I would like a bit of a challenge.¡±

    ¡°You are not shoving a fan up my ass again!¡± Bunny eximed.

    ¡°Did we have tost time?¡± She asked.

    ¡°No...¡±

    ¡°Then quit your bitching,¡± She replied. ¡°Ok, guys, we are going to MAGA¡­ God help us...¡±

    ¡°Woooo!¡± Jessie eximed. ¡°MAGA!!! I love those guys! Ooo! Can we fly over to Hobby Lobby while we are there?¡±

    ¡°Sure, why not,¡± She grumbled, ¡°Might as well get the whole experience.¡±

    ¡°Yay!¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Greg said, elbowing Jacob, ¡°She¡¯s legal now! You should look her up!¡±

    ¡°Go and fuck yourself, Greg.¡±

    ***

    ¡°I am so terribly <em>excited</em>!¡± Caw gushed. ¡°I just can¡¯t <em>believe</em> it!!!¡±

    ¡°Really,¡± Karashel chuckled, ¡°I couldn¡¯t tell.¡±

    ¡°Your people are <em>actually</em> interested in what really matters!!!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not going to be easy,¡± Caw said, ¡°but oh, the rewards...¡±

    ¡°Mmm hmm,¡± Karashel replied as she looked at her tablet.

    She smiled.

    ¡°We have a n in ce that should really make things a lot easier,¡± Karashel smiled as she read something. ¡°In fact, I believe that the quality of life for the average Baleel is about to improve markedly.¡±

    ¡°I know the prospect is intoxicating,¡± Caw said, practically dancing in ce, ¡°but care should be taken not to overreach or try to take on too much at once. This will be a long process, taking generations of careful nning and hard work.¡±

    ¡°Or we could just increase our wealth by a factor of a thousand,¡± she said absently as she stared at her tablet again. ¡°And just bankroll the whole thing in one shot.¡±

    Caw chuckled.

    ¡°If only it were that simple,¡± he clicked,ying his hand on top of Karashel. ¡°Even if that were remotely possible, there would still be innumerable surprises, problems, social issues¡­ as your people will learn.¡±

    ¡°We could just run a very detailed simtion first,¡± Karashel said as she idly poked at her screen. ¡°You know, have a test poption that we could use to iron out all the details.¡±

    ¡°That sounds ominous,¡± Caw replied, looking down at his friend curiously, ¡°Have you been reading human stuff again? I thought you said you were done with that.¡±

    ¡°I said I was done with Marx, Mao, and Hitler,¡± Karashel replied with a little smile that Caw had learned was a very bad sign. ¡°I¡¯ve moved on to the 21st and 22nd centuries now. The events leading up to their third global conflict and what happened afterwards are far more useful than starry-eyed idealists like Lenin and Pol Pot.¡±

    ¡°Who is Pol Pot?¡±

    ¡°Oh, nobody,¡± Karashel muttered absently. ¡°Come on...¡± she muttered as she shook her tablet. ¡°How long can it fucking take?¡±

    ¡°How long can what take?¡±

    ¡°Oh, sorry,¡± Karashel said, turning off her tablet and looking up at Caw for the first time, ¡°work stuff.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve had a lot of that heretely,¡± Caw replied, ¡°I hardly ever see you anymore, and when I do, you barely have the energy to curse at me. Is everything ok?¡±

    ¡°Not especially,¡± Karashel replied with a chuckle, ¡°I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ve noticed, but a lot has been going on in the Federation heretely.¡±

    ¡°Yes, a lot of systems are really struggling,¡± Caw replied, ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know how some of them are going to make it¡­ Oh, progenitors¡­ Are the Baleel, you know¡­ ok?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s my job to ensure that we will be,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°And I am <em>very</em> good at my job,¡± she added with a moist but feral gleam in her eyes.

    She paused.

    ¡°Um¡­ Caw...¡± she said, looking up at him earnestly, ¡°I just want you to know how much I appreciate you and the time you¡¯ve spent with me and everything you¡¯ve shown me¡­ You mean a lot to me, and I hope¡­¡±

    ¡°Kara?¡± Caw asked with concern.

    ¡°Oh, nothing,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°I just want you to know, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Caw ¡°smiled¡±, ¡°that means a lot. You mean a lot, Karashel, and now so do the Baleel! Nobody has <em>ever</em> asked us what they have. Oh, we have <em>so</em> much to share with you!¡±

    ¡°I hope you feel that way in about a¡ª¡°

    ¡°Councilor Karashel!¡± an unpleasant voice rasped angrily.

    Karashel¡¯s eyestalks whipped around excitedly. It was the one person she had been waiting for.

    Councilor Nemat of the Gvorta was scuttling up, radiating annoyance.

    ¡°Councilor Nemat!¡± Karashel gushed pleasantly, ¡°I am so happy to see you.¡± (and she actually was¡­ very happy.)

    ¡°What is the meaning of this?¡± he snapped as he shoved a small cube projecting a hologram of a text document into Karashel¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°We were speaking,¡± Caw said icily as he watched the loathsome arthropoid bully his friend.

    ¡°It¡¯s ok, Caw,¡± Karashel said with a defeated tone. ¡°This is work stuff. I won¡¯t be a moment.¡±

    ¡°One of <em>you people</em> had the audacity to present themselves to our bureau of trade, <em>on our homeworld</em> requesting¡­ no¡­ <em>demanding</em> payment after I <em>told you</em> not to press the issue!¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m terribly sorry, Councilor,¡± Karashel said in a timid little voice. ¡°It wasn¡¯t my idea! I told them that it would make you angry. It¡¯s just that you said that you couldn¡¯t transfer funds because of thework, so my boss thought that if we took possession of the payment and then physically transported it back home, it would be ok.¡±

    ¡°<em>Well, it isn¡¯t!</em>¡± Councilor Nemat shouted. ¡°We need to maintain a reserve for emergencies. You will get paid when we decide you get paid and not one second before!¡±

    Councilor Nemat then syed his hands in a sneer.

    ¡°Besides, it shouldn¡¯t be a problem,¡± he said with a little chuckling hiss, ¡°ording to the documents you filed, you should have no problems with a little dy, right.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ yes¡­ of course...¡± she said, looking downcast. ¡°Right,¡± she added nervously, ¡°no problem¡­ nope¡­ none at all...¡±

    ¡°Then this issue is settled,¡± the Gvorta councilor said with a dismissive wave. ¡°Don¡¯t trouble us again.¡±

    ¡°Could you...¡± Karashel stammered, ¡°Could you maybe give me that in an e-mail, or a memo, you know, something in writing that I could show my boss? Otherwise, they will just keep bugging you.¡±

    ¡°<em>Fine</em>...¡± he hissed. ¡°Someone from my office will give you something. Now send the next shipment immediately, or you <em>will</em> regret it.¡±

    ¡°And, just to be perfectly clear,¡± Karashel said, ¡°you are absolutely refusing to pay and are not establishing a timeline for said payment?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Nemat shouted, ¡°How many times do I have to tell you. You will get paid when you get paid, and that¡¯s it!¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°I understand.¡±

    ¡°Well, it took long enough,¡± Councilor Nemat sneered, ¡°Creators, you people are so <em>stupid</em>.¡±

    With a flip of his robes, he scuttled off.

    ¡°What an asshole!¡± Caw hissed, ring his crest.

    Karashel wasn¡¯t paying attention.

    She pulled out amunicator from her shawl-jacket pocket.

    ¡°He took the bait,¡± she said quietly. ¡°Do it.¡±

    ¡°With pleasure,¡± a feminine and very predatory vulxeen voice replied.

    ¡°...Kara?¡± Caw asked dubiously.

    Kara looked up at him.

    Caw shuddered. Thest time he saw that look was in the woods, just before he had his people open fire.

    ¡°Ok, time for lunch!¡± Karashel said brightly as she returned to normal. ¡°Where do you want to go?¡±

    ¡°¡­ our bench outside?¡± Caw replied dubiously, ¡°Um¡­ Karashel¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Do I want to know?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡±

 Chapter 165: Karashel Cashes in a Favor (And Gets a Fun New Hat)

    Chapter 165: Karashel Cashes in a Favor (And Gets a Fun New Hat)

    ¡°Here you go, Karashel,¡± the Baleean doctor said as he handed her a small spray bottle.

    ¡°Thanks, doc,¡± Karashel said happily, ¡°You are a lifesaver, again, hee hee.¡±

    ¡°I just have to know,¡± the doctor said in confusion, ¡°What do you need a kttscrit tranquilizer for?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°I¡¯m going to go out into the garden, catch a few, knock them out¡­ and then stick them all over my naked body.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± the doctor snorted wetly, ¡°Don¡¯t tell me.¡±

    ***

    Trooper Kva grumbled as they tried to getfortable behind their wall of dirt bags.

    <em>Dirt bags...</em> he thought, just like those void worshiping humans in the locus and the ursed Kalent for not letting them just bomb the ce.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe they have us sheltering behind bags of dirt,¡± he muttered to hisrade.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like force fields did any good,¡± a squat scaly Makkan replied, clutching his needler. ¡°They say a human is who told them to use these. I just wish we didn¡¯t have to fill them.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that makes me feel so much safer,¡± Kva said, flicking out his long tongue to indicate humor, ¡°Just like the humans, tricking us into digging our own graves.¡±

    The Makkan poked a wooden box above the sandbags and peered into a little hole.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Kva asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s a light bender,¡± the Makkan replied. ¡°It¡¯s an old trick from my homeworld. It has two mirrors in it that let me look in this little hole and see what the top of the box sees.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s stupid.¡±

    ¡°Is it?¡± the Makkan asked. ¡°It doesn¡¯t use any power, is easy to make, and I don¡¯t oblige the humans, or the eels for that matter, by presenting my anterior segment for them to excise.¡±

    ¡°See anything?¡±

    ¡°Just those shiny Kalent grav-tanks.. or drop ships¡­ or fighters... or whatever the filth they are.¡±

    The scanner between the pair beeped.

    <em>¡±What¡¯s that?¡±</em> the Makkan whispered urgently as he pulled down his periscope and ttened against the ground.

    ¡°Rx, Hyy,¡± Kva replied, ¡°It¡¯s just some local wildlife.¡±

    ***

    Inside the brightly lit white interior of the <em>Sharpscale</em>, one of the noble and venerable ¡°longspine¡± ss ground effect craft surrounding the <em>Great Lord</em> and the loathsome humans that his Holy Excellency had deigned to humor for some unknown reason, Fast Strike Captain Ukovvan nced over at his second.

    ¡°Analysis?¡± he asked as he floated in hismand pod.

    ¡°It is an assembly of reflectors set in a box of some natural material,¡± his second replied, her beautiful scales catching the light as they always did. ¡°I believe it¡¯s some sort of sky gazer, sir.¡±

    ¡°Sky gazer?¡±

    ¡°They used them to look above the water in ancient times,¡± his second replied with her lovely voice. ¡°I saw one in a museum when I was a child. I can see a Makkan¡¯s eye looking at us through it¡­ See?¡±

    She zoomed in on the end of the periscope.

    Captain Ukovvanughed.

    ¡°Hey, if it works,¡± he bubbled trying not to look at his second¡¯s posterior fin.

    There was a sharp tone from the console.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± his second said with a dismissive flick of her <em>gorgeous</em> tail, ¡°Just some kttscrit, a local vermin species.¡±

    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s meeting up with the vermin behind us, eh,¡± he chuckled.

    ¡°Good one, sir,¡± his second replied, trying not to stare at her Captain¡¯s <em>magnificent</em> muscr side.

    ***

    ¡°I¡¯ve tried being patient,¡± the sarcophagus sighed, ¡°but this is bing just too much! Forgive me, Colonel, I don¡¯t wish to malign your leader, but I believe she is taking advantage of this situation!¡±

    Colonel Laurentughed.

    ¡°Oh, thank you, Fishstick,¡± he gasped, ¡°I needed that. <em>Of course</em>, she is taking advantage of the situation. Face it, <em>My Lord</em>, you put your balls in her talons. She is not letting go until she is ready.¡±

    ¡°My balls?¡±

    ¡°Testicles,¡± the colonel rified, still chuckling.

    ¡°Ah!¡± the sarcophagus replied, apanied with synthesized humanughter, ¡°I get that idiom! And yes, I supposed I did let hery her hands on my gills, didn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± the colonel smiled, ¡°She¡¯ll honor her end of the deal¡­ when she¡¯s good and ready.¡±

    ¡°Do you have any idea why she is dying so long?¡±

    ¡°Actually,¡± the colonel replied, ¡°I think I¡ª¡°

    ¡°Helllllloooooo? Anybody here?¡± a cheerful voice echoed down the hall.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± the colonel snarled, drawing his pistol as his soldiers lept to action, arming their saberguns or drawing des.

    ¡°Everybody stand down!¡± the sarcophagus broadcast through powerful speakers, ¡°Voice match! It¡¯s Karashel, the Baleean Councilor.¡±

    ¡°I know who the fuck it is!¡± the colonel replied, ¡°What I want to know is why she¡¯s here and how she got past my men!¡±

    ¡°You two,¡± he snapped, ¡°Please go out and <em>politely</em> escort our guest to me. And you!¡± he eximed, ¡°relieve one of the guards we have on the perimeter. I would very much like to speak with them.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Sir!¡± the absolutely devastated soldier said as he stood at attention. ¡°We have checked and double-checked every sensor. The only thing that came close to approaching our position was¡­¡±

    His voice trailed off as the colonel pointed at a rather sticky slumbering kttscrit on his desk.

    ¡±...oh.¡±

    ¡°Oh, indeed,¡± the colonel replied. ¡°Before our guest leaves, make <em>damn</em> sure you get a good scan. This is just embarrassing¡­¡±

    The colonel gently poked the kttscrit.

    ¡°clever, though.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Any idea why she¡¯s there?¡± Jessica Morgan inquired over theptop sitting on Colonel Laurent¡¯s desk.

    ¡°None whatsoever,¡± the Colonel replied, shaking his head. ¡°All she¡¯s said is that she just dropped by to say hello and to see if we needed anything¡­ Oh, and she wanted to chat with the fish privately for a little bit.¡±

    ¡°This makes two for two,¡± Jessica said with a smirk.

    ¡°Pardon?¡±

    ¡°This is the second time that harmless little slug has breached one of our perimeters,¡± Jessica replied, sipping her tea. ¡°I do have to admit, wearing a live squirrel as a hat is a new one.¡±

    ¡°I cannot apologize enough, Ma¡¯am. This will not happen again.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m willing to bet it will,¡± Jessica chuckled. ¡°Have her call me before she leaves. I want to know what the little shit is up to.¡±

    ***

    Asughter pealed from Colonel Laurent¡¯s office, the Colonel and the Sarcophagus loitered nearby.

    The Colonel looked over at his mysterious sort of friend. He had been very quiet ever since he and Karashel returned.

    ¡°So, how did your little visit with squirrel girl go?¡±

    ¡°Squirrel¡­ girl?¡±

    ¡°Karashel,¡± the colonel rified, ¡°I was referring to her novel camouge.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s¡­¡± the sarcophagus paused, searching for the right word, ¡°She¡¯s evil. I¡­ regret¡­ issuing her a favor. She came to collect, in case you were wondering.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± the colonel shrugged as he nodded towards his office, ¡°she¡¯s in goodpany, then. I guess there¡¯s two of them now.¡±

    ¡°No, Colonel,¡± the sarcophagus replied, ¡°She is quite possibly worse¡­ And the true horror of it...¡±

    Colonel Laurent could <em>feel</em> whatever creature in that ck box shudder.

    ¡°¡­ she¡¯s <em>right</em>. She is absolutely correct. Her logic is¡­ horrifyingly <em>perfect¡­</em> I tried to assail it, to find some fault, some w¡­ I¡­ failed¡­ I¡¯ve consulted with my kind...¡±

    The sarcophagus paused.

    ¡°We are going to honor her request. May whatever looks over this madness forgive us.¡±

    ***

    Colonel Laurent raised his eyebrow as he tried to hand Karashel a sleeping kttscrit and failed.

    It remained stuck to his hand.

    ¡°Oh!¡± Karashel said brightly, ¡°Sorry! Let me just...¡±

    The Colonel stiffened as Karashel ¡°licked¡± him, causing the sticky goop around the unfortunate critter to loosen.

    ¡°Perhaps,¡± the colonel said, still a bit shaken (Christ, was that thing <em>weird</em>!), ¡°you could knock next time?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m reeeeelly sorry about that, Colonel,¡± Karashel said sheepishly, ¡°I just needed absolutely nobody to see mee in here. I want it to be a surprise!¡± she eximed brightly as if she was nning a birthday party¡­

    Something that the colonel seriously doubted.

    ¡°Thanks for not shooting me!¡± Karashel said happily, ¡°I was kinda worried about that.¡±

    ¡°I was kinda considering it,¡± the colonel smiled. ¡°However, I should thank you.¡±

    ¡°What for?¡± Karashel said as she stuck the kttscrit on the top of her head.

    ¡°It¡¯s good to remind the men, and myself, that we aren¡¯t perfect. Normally these lessons are a bit more¡­ costly.¡±

    ¡°Maybe I should send you a bill then!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t push it, beanbag,¡± the colonel chuckled.

    ¡°Ok!¡± Karashel smiled a gooey smile, ¡°Bye!¡±

    ***

    As Karashel undted along the passageway leading to the exit, she paused.

    <em>Better than bitter-snot...</em>

    It wasn¡¯t like she was going to have another chance at this, most likely¡­

    ¡°What the hell...¡± she muttered and turned around.

 Chapter 166: Ooh La La...

    Chapter 166: Ooh La La...

    ¡°So, how are you settling in?¡± Jessica Morgan asked a withered old man¡¯s face on one of her archaic t panel ¡°OLED¡± screens (holograms gave her headaches).

    ¡°Quite well!¡± the man replied with a smile. ¡°The Baleel have been excellent hosts.¡±

    ¡°Good to hear,¡± Jessica said, ¡°Where do they have you stashed?¡±

    ¡°Believe it or not,¡± the man chuckled, ¡°an abandoned salt mine, just like the ones on Old Earth.¡±

    <em>¡°A salt mine?¡±</em>

    ¡°It turns out they need the stuff as much as we do,¡± the old man replied with a shrug. ¡°You should see about importing some. This is <em>really</em> good salt. It¡¯s damn near a dietary supplement.¡±

    ¡°How do they mine it without melting?¡±

    ¡°They have a much lower surface area than the slugs we are used to,¡± the old man replied, ¡°And their mucus is much¡­ better? They just used some protective clothing and something they call ¡®sauce¡¯ back in the old days. Now they use a spray on polymer and respirators as PPE and use robotic mining equipment. They are actually still mining this deposit, but they have us in an area that is no longer active. This ce is <em>huge</em>! When she says she can shelter as many people as we want to send, she isn¡¯t joking. You could fit thousands of us in just this one mine alone.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Jessica said as she sipped her cup of tea. ¡°Any progress on the contracts?¡±

    ¡°Already done,¡± the old man replied. ¡°Karashel already had those ready for us when we arrived. She just wanted us to look over them¡­ Jesus, Jessica¡­ This thing is¡­ Fuck...¡±

    ¡°Let me guess,¡± Jessica smirked, ¡°It¡¯s inhuman, like something from the depths of Hell itself?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the old man replied, ¡°She didn¡¯t need us for the contract. She just wants us for ¡®phase two¡¯, whatever that is.¡±

    ¡°Did she give any hints? I don¡¯t like being kept in the dark.¡±

    ¡°All I know is that we need to prepare to challenge the individual uses in the contract.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you mean defend?¡±

    ¡°I asked the same question,¡± the old man replied. ¡°Karashel was quite clear with her wording. She wants us to be able to tear apart the whole thing line item by line item.¡±

    ¡°Did she say why?¡±

    The old man smiled a vicious, feral smile.

    ¡°That she did,¡± he said, his eyes gleaming. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ <em>beautiful</em>...¡±

    ¡°Enlighten me,¡± Jessica said as Terence refilled her cup.

    ***

    Two Baleel undted through the dark and crowded station apanied by two dangerous looking Z¡¯uush and a single human male, their eyestalks rapidly darting in all directions as they took in the sights.

    Large holographic disys in numerousnguages floated above stalls and makeshift buildings along the shabby concourse, promising guns, drugs, pirated media, ship parts, carnal delights, and things not readily understood by the two happily overwhelmed Baleel.

    ¡°Ooh La La¡­ Ah Oui Oui...¡± the pair sang, bouncing their ¡°heads¡± in perfect unison in time with the strange tune.

    ¡°They¡¯re singing again,¡± one of the Z¡¯uush grumbled. ¡°I hate it when they do that.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± the other replied, ¡°I think it¡¯s kind of nice.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because you don¡¯t know what it means,¡± the human smirked.

    ***

    ¡°Can you believe that one of them had the impertinence to present themselves at our treasury demanding payment?¡± A Vosoon scoffed as a server refilled his ss.

    ¡°You as well?¡± the Gvortan councilor sneered. ¡°The Baleel did the same thing recently. Of course, they <em>are</em> desperate, but still¡­ the absolute <em>nerve</em>...¡±

    Veeka rolled herrge eyes behind the visor that shielded them from the much higher light levels favored by most species as she daintily picked up a morsel with artfully curved silver chopsticks.

    Species like the Vostoon and the Gvorta annoyed her to no end.

    ¡°The Whelxk councilor did the same thing to us,¡± a Havvaridan snorted. ¡°What¡¯s worse, it demanded to know why we weren¡¯t paying them. Well, I just told them that payment was impossible due to the fact that we were unable to make transfers.¡±

    <em>!!!</em>

    Veeka¡¯s head shot up as the morsel fell from her chopsticks and onto the table.

    ¡°That annoying Karashel did the same thing,¡± the Gvortan councilor said in an annoyed tone. ¡°My secretary said she just wouldn¡¯t let the issue drop until we gave her a good reason why we were unable to pay.¡±

    <em>Unable to pay...</em>

    Veeka¡¯srge ears twitched as she heard a quiet chuckle from another part of the restaurant. She turned her head slightly as her eyes swiveled behind the conveniently opaque visor.

    <em>The chuckle came from the Vulxeen councilor who was dining with a Kraxxitan!</em>

    The pair exchanged a look and smug little smirks as they looked at the Gvortan councilor and the rest of them with predatory eyes.

    ¡°This is going to be <em>hrious</em>,¡± the Vulxeen whispered to the Kraxxitan so quietly that most in the room wouldn¡¯t be able to overhear them¡­

    Well, anyone except for a race that used echolocation¡­

    ¡°Indeed,¡± the Kraxxitan buzz-hissed, ¡°Do you know the Gvortan actually said ¡®races like us¡¯ to me the other day?¡±

    ¡°Unbelievable,¡± the Vulxeen whispered in reply.

    Veeka tucked her chopsticks into her robe, hopped down from her chair, and rushed towards the exit.

    ¡°Excuse me, Madam Councilor,¡± an ornately dressed Kreneel said as it rushed towards her, ¡°Was the meal not to your liking?¡±

    ¡°Oh no, Yalk-Ton,¡± she replied, ¡°Some urgent business has arisen that I must address immediately. Just put the meal on my ount.¡±

    ¡°Very good, Madam Councilor,¡± the Kreneel said, dipping its bill respectfully as Veeka waddled urgently from the room.

    ***

    Veeka rushed into the ¡°Food Concourse¡± underneath the Council building, issuing little clicks and squeaks inaudible to most people inside.

    Her mind rapidly sorted through the sound-shapes before her, seeking the familiar, reassuring bulk and soothing rumble of an old friend.

    She soon found it and quickly hurried through the open area frequented by various mid-level government employees and councilors from systems not wealthy enough to providevish expense ounts or were disgraced or otherwise of insufficient status to be allowed into one of the nicer ¡°clubs¡± such as the one she just left with such haste.

    As she navigated her way through the maze of booths, tables, and perches, she felt the sound-shapes shift, hiss, mutter, and buzz in a decidedly unfriendly manner. ¡°Upper ss¡± people like her were never exactly wee here because they often heralded the abrupt end to someone¡¯s break¡­

    ...but this was different¡­ almost¡­ dangerous.

    Veeka¡¯s first paw instinctively reached up and stroked her hair, feeling for one of the definitely not a weapon long pins that she used to secure the long hair streaming from the top of her skull and down her shoulders, almost to her tail if it wasn¡¯t bundled up and restrained with a couple of traditional long skewers (which were totally not deadly weapons in the hands of a master of one of her people¡¯s martial arts).

    She was happy (and relieved) when her old friend¡¯s friendly rumble was reassuringly the same.

    ¡°Councilor Veeka!¡± therge being covered with thick leathery tes eximed upon her approach, slicing off a piece of his meal. ¡°Here! The choicest piece of fat for the choicest piece of fat!¡±

    ¡°I will take that in the spirit it was intended,¡± Veekaughed as she produced her chopsticks and put the offering in her mouth.

    ¡°Oh, that is scrumptious, Labkale!¡± Veeka gushed, ¡°Your wives spoil you.¡±

    ¡°This is from one of my husbands, actually,¡± Labkale replied proudly. ¡°He is a genius at the grill. You shoulde to one of our cook-outs someday.¡±

    ¡°I would,¡± Veekaughed, ¡°but your ¡®recreational activities¡¯ are a bit¡­ much¡­ for my very boring sensibilities.¡±

    Labkale let out a loud guffaw.

    ¡°We could restrain ourselves until your departure, you know,¡± heughed, ¡°Or you <em>could</em> join us...¡±

    ¡°You say that,¡± Veeka smiled, ¡°but what would you say when half of your family follows me home instead of you?¡± triggering a loud bellowingugh from Labkale.

    ¡°I would say that the victor is entitled to the spoils of war,¡± Labkale said between gaspingughs, ¡°But perhaps it would be <em>you</em> that follows me home instead? You never know until you try, Madame Councilor.¡±

    ¡°Considering the differences in our biology,¡± Veeka snickered, ¡°I would honestly be very, very surprised.¡±

    ¡°So, what brings you down from your lofty tower to crawl among the lowlies?¡± Labkaleughed.

    Veeka winced.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like that, Labkale,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s never like that.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Labkale replied, ¡°It¡¯s why I say it. If it were true, I wouldn¡¯t bother. So, what brings you down here? I know that expression, Veeka. What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    ¡°I just want you to know,¡± Veeka said, taking a deep breath, ¡°that we <em>can</em> pay your people. We <em>have the money, desire, and capacity to pay</em>. We willfully <em>choose</em> not to because it is not <em>convenient</em> due to the current state of the Federation. If you wish, you can present yourselves to our treasury and receive any amount due upon demand.¡±

    Labkale sigh-hissed with irritation.

    ¡°Those damn (strong words for one of his kind) troublemakers¡­¡± he grumbled, ¡°Veeka, please tell me you don¡¯t believe that we are in league with <em>those people.</em> Our people have always had a good rtionship with the K-(click)-eep, and <em>nothing</em> will change that. We know you are good for your end of the deal and extend to you the same flexibility you have <em>always</em> extended to us. We can settle everything up once the <em>real</em>work is up and running again.¡±

    Veeka sighed with relief.

    ¡°Thank you, Labkale,¡± she said, ¡°that means a lot to both me and my people...¡±

    She winced.

    ¡°Labkale, I truly <em>hate</em> to do this,¡± she said apologetically as she produced a tablet, ¡°but would you ept this document that officially states what I have just told you?¡±

    ¡°You doubt my word?¡± Labkale asked in disbelief.

    ¡°No! Good Creators above, below, within, and without no!¡± Veeka eximed, ¡°I trust youpletely! I mistrust just about everything else right now. I have a responsibility to my people that cannot rely on just my heart alone. I would stake my life on your words, old friend. However, I cannot stake my people¡¯s lives on my judgment, which I mistrust far more than your word.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Labkale grumbled, ¡°I ept this on behalf of the Ulk,¡± he said formally as he epted the tablet. ¡°Are you happy now?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Veeka replied, ¡°far from it. I have cast a shadow over your day due to my timidity and fear. You don¡¯t deserve this.¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be like that,¡± Labkale snorted, giving Veeka a yful little swat, ¡°Ilb herderse home covered in turds, and we both go home envying them. You bring light, as always, Veeka, not shadows. Now, sit! Sit and share my bounty!¡±

    ¡°Oh, I couldn¡¯t...¡± Veeka said, eyeing the absolutely overflowing gigantic lunch basket filled with deliciousness.

    ¡°Your tiny mouth and stomach can¡¯t rob me of my meal!¡± Labkale eximed, pulling out a lovely na fruit (a big export item to Veeka¡¯s system) and waving it seductively.

    ¡°Well...¡± Veeka said as she sat down next to the giant, ¡°If you insist.¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Labkale said, ¡°and you know how we take our hospitality being refused. You quite simply have no choice.¡±

    ¡°(Nom)¡­ I guess I¡¯m your prisoner then¡­ (nom)...¡± Veeka smiled, na juice trickling down her chin.

    ¡°¡­ So tell me, Labkale,¡± she said a few momentster, ¡°Who are these troublemakers you speak of?¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ the <em>party</em>...¡± Labkale said, chuffing derisively. ¡°Some of us ¡¯little guys¡¯ have decided to go insane, that¡¯s all. Think nothing of it.¡±

    ¡°There is a new political party?¡± Veeka asked, ¡°I haven¡¯t seen anything about it.¡±

    ¡°Nor will you,¡± Labkale said as he popped a whole polg melon into his gaping maw like a grape, rind and all, ¡°It¡¯s not an official party. They say it¡¯s more of a <em>caucus</em> at the moment, whatever that is. It¡¯s just a couple of dirt systems ying pretend. It¡¯s embarrassing how many people are listening to their nonsense. They are as bad as K-Anon.¡±

    ¡°What are they saying?¡± Veeka asked as she nibbled on her na, ¡°And what is K-Anon?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t even want to repeat it,¡± Labkale grumbled, shoving a fistful of greens into his steam-shovel of a mouth. ¡°Pay it no mind.¡±

    ¡°Humor me...¡±

    Veeka¡¯s eyes slowly widened as Labkale reluctantly filled her in.

    She shuddered, her delicious second lunch forgotten and abandoned like the first, as she listened to her old friend inform her of the ¡°pointless nonsense¡± that was taking ce right under her nose.

    ¡°So¡­ Labkale,¡± Veeka asked as casually as she could manage, ¡°Are there any members of this what did you call it, ¡®Communalist Party¡¯ here?¡±

    ¡°Oh no, those crazy morons are holding their (snort) ¡®caucus¡¯ <em>outside</em>. Can you believe it?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see why not.¡± Veeka replied, ¡°It¡¯s a lovely day, and the gardens are¡ª¡°

    ¡°Not the <em>courtyard</em>,¡± Labkale snorted,¡± <em>Out front.¡±</em>

    <em>¡± What?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°You heard me,¡± Labkale chuffed, ¡°They are across the street in Aspiration Park having a pic, just begging to get their heads blown off. They say that the sniper or snipers aren¡¯t going to waste a bullet on lowlies like them. Karashel and the rest are out there right now holding court.¡±

    Labkale leaned in close.

    ¡°It is unlike me to wish ill on anyone,¡± he whispered, ¡°But if that sniper decided to prove them incorrect, it would not displease me.¡±

    ***

    Veeka summoned her courage as she rushed through the building.

    As she did so, she overheard, ¡°If you <em>can¡¯t</em> pay us at this time, could you please send an email to my office?¡± or words to that effect several times.

    Oh, this was bad. How did they all not <em>hear</em> what they were saying?

    It was like when the ocean pulled away from the shore. There is always that one family that has to be told to climb, no matter how many times it¡¯s happened. (and it happens a lot on her homeworld)

    She reached the front entrance, guarded by a squad of armored troopers.

    ¡°Do you need us to call you a transport, ma¡¯am?¡± their sergeant, a reassuringly burly Threen, asked.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m just stepping outside for a moment.¡±

    The Threen just sighed and took a deep breath.

    ¡°Very well,¡± he said in a sing-song voice, ¡°I cannot and will not stop you from exiting. However, I must inform you that there are snipers still active in the capital, and while no councilor has been shot at this time, there is no guarantee that the sniper or snipers will not change their tactics. You pass these doors solely at your own risk. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°Yes, sergeant, thank you,¡± Veeka replied.

    The sergeant unlocked the front doors and then scrambled behind an armored panel. While councilors haven¡¯t been shot, the same couldn¡¯t be said for the military.

    He also hoped hisical rushing for cover would dissuade yet another privileged idiot from being a privileged idiot.

    He shook his head as Veeka took a deep breath and ran through the doorway.

    ***

    As she sprinted across the once busy street, the surreal reality in which she now lived struck her as darkly funny.

    She had crossed this street countless times over for many years without a care in the world. Now, she was absolutely terrified as she sprint-waddled across it and down a walkway that was, only weeks ago, crowded with people of countless species.

    Now it was abandoned.

    Shaking with fear and ncing at every rooftop that she passed, she reached Aspiration Park an eternityter.

    As she rushed past the entrance, she stopped in her tracks.

    It looked¡­ <em>normal</em>!

    People lounged on benches, strolled through the statues, and sat on the grass, still perfectly maintained by robotic mowers.

    Everyone seemed rxed and happy, free from fear or concern.

    She almost wept.

    But¡­ It wasn¡¯t normal¡­

    From her ¡°safe¡± vantage point, she started to realize that while there were several councilors of lower tier races, most of the people in the park were aats, wttl, other lower races, or people clearly of low status, certainly not the sorts who would enjoy this ¡°nice¡± ce before.

    They were precisely the sorts of people that Labkale described, people that a sniper wouldn¡¯t waste a bullet on¡­

    People who actually were safe here, not only from the sniper but from the assholes who made their lives unpleasant.

    She realized that they were using the sniper as cover, protecting them from the real threat¡­

    People like <em>her</em>.

    <em>I don¡¯t belong here,</em> she realized as a lump formed in her throat. She wondered if there actually was a human sniper hovering over this ce like a guardian angel, just waiting for someone like her to show up.

    However, she <em>had</em> to know. Was what she was feeling just a product of her species¡¯s naturally excitable and cautious nature, or was what she feeling <em>real</em>?

    Taking a deep breath with her knees literally shaking, she stepped into the park, praying with each step that she didn¡¯t go <em>pop</em>.

    It didn¡¯t take long to find them, this munalist party¡±. They were sitting under one of the pavilions, surrounded by tables of food that seemed to be free for the taking.

    She paused. Sitting at a table in the middle of this ¡°buffet¡± that was being enjoyed by a short line of diners was a group of councilors she had seen in passing many times, minor races of little consequence¡­

    But here¡­ They didn¡¯t look of little consequence¡­

    They looked <em>different</em>.

    There was Councilor Longpaw of the diminutive Loo. Normally he looked ¡°cute¡± and fluffy, but now, his fur seemed¡­ slick (?), and his mouth was hanging slightly open in a feral smile revealing entirely too many teeth.

    Next to him was Councilor Maypawk, of the Yuii, abnormallyrge for a sophont, he usually was ¡°folded in¡± on himself as he clumsily lumbered through the halls. Now, he loomed even bigger than ever, his ropy, cable-like muscles rippling as heughed a boomingugh.

    At the far end of the bench was Councilor Rillrillrillrill, of the¡­ well, the Rill, a strange species even by Federation standards, her long multi-legged serpentine body stretched a ways from the bench.

    Were her mandibles always that long?

    The strangest feature was her ¡°head¡±, typically bowed down, it was held high, searching the area with her ¡°secondary¡± forward-facing eyes, and extending from the sides of her ¡°neck¡± were great frills extending out in hood above and beside her head that she had never seen opened before.

    Beside her was Councilor Laek~Vet of lowly Besl, struggling under management. To be honest, she really didn¡¯t know what he normally looked like because he rarely left his office, poor thing¡­

    He looked¡­ feral. His multiple glossy ck eyes set in blue-ck scales were gleaming malevolently as his taloned multiple arms broke a loaf of some strange substance into six equal pieces. Heughed pleasantly as he offered Rillrillrillrill a portion.

    Rillrillrillrill took a bite and spat it out with a strange rattling hiss that sent chills up Veeka¡¯s spine as Laek~Vet let out a howl of what she only could assume wasughter, as Rillrillrillrill head-butted him to the delight of the table.

    Finally, sitting in the middle was a brightly colored slug.

    It was Karashel, a being that she barely knew and only because she was Caw¡¯s shadow these days. Caw spoke quite highly of her, though, and apparently, she could out curse an Xx, quite the achievement.

    She looked¡­ well¡­

    She looked the same way she always did andpletely out of ce among the more disturbing and threatening looking beings on that bench.

    A strange feeling came over Veeka. She wasn¡¯t quite sure what it was.

    She just felt that this moment was important.

    She looked at them and, with an ultrasonic squeak, triggered a micro-camera in herpletely not a set of spy tools sun visor, and took a picture of the people at that table. It wasn¡¯t to incriminate them or to use for analysis.

    She just felt that this precise second was important, that¡¯s all.

    The table turned silent, and she realized that they were all looking at her. Well, in for a credit, in for the lot.

    Besides, they were her fellow councilors, right? There was no reason to feel as afraid as she was. It was just silly. She was scared of snipers, not fellow councilors, and especially not <em>those</em> councilors.

    Navigating past the beings enthusiastically filling their tes, Veeka made her way to the center table.

    ¡°Good midday,¡± Veeka said pleasantly.

    ¡°Midday,¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed, ring her hood.

    Veeka noticed that all of them were wearing a small ¡°party pin¡± simr to the one she was wearing, but it was strange, alien looking.

    It disturbed her for some reason.

    It shouldn¡¯t have. It was just a stylized spiral gxy surrounded by a ¡°wreath¡± of grain-bearing vegetation with a strange golden symbol superimposed over the gxy in the center.

    There was just something¡­ ominous about it.

    She looked at the symbol more closely. It was a curved implement, a ¡°scythe¡± used by many species at some point in their technological development, crossed with what looked like a stylized hammer.

    An eyeflick and ultrasonic squeak triggered an archive search that yielded no results. Then again, she could only ess what archives were avable. The sted humans cut the link to the Locus shortly after they wrecked the clock.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± Councilor Longpaw asked with a faint hiss and none of his normal bowing and scraping. ¡°You want to take a te of food meant for the proletariat? Go ahead, gorge yourself on what is meant for others.¡±

    <em>The prole-what?</em>

    ¡°Um¡­ no, I¡¯ve eaten, thank you,¡± Veeka said uncertainly, ¡°I just heard that you guys had formed a party and wanted to say hello, see what your tform is.¡±

    Everyone at the table nced at Karashel.

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s not a <em>real</em> party,¡± Karashel said smoothly, ¡°I mean, seriously, look at us. There is no political power here. It¡¯s just a little caucus we put together for fun. We meet up, have a dinner party, chat about things, and practice our parliamentary procedure, you know, ¡¯cause we are councilors and shit. We should know <em>something</em> about running a government.¡±

    Suddenly Councilor Qvvven of the xx rushed up.

    ¡°I did it!¡± they squeaked excitedly, ¡°I actually flipping did it!¡±

    They then pulled out one of those pins and fastened it to their jacket.

    ¡°Did you get it in writing?¡± Karashel asked pleasantly.

    ¡°I did!¡± Qvvven squeaked. ¡°It went exactly like they said it would. They sent me to some office peon who pretty much wrote exactly what I asked them to, and then the asshole stamped it!¡±

    ¡°Perfect,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°You are a littlete to the party in multiple senses, but wee.¡±

    ¡°Are you meeting tonight?¡± Qvvven asked.

    ¡°Not tonight,¡± Karashel replied as the table chuckled. ¡°We have some things to take care of. You will be informed of the next party meeting.¡±

    She nced over at Veeka.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure that you have questions concerning certain¡­ opportunities...¡±

    The xx bounced up and down excitedly.

    ¡°But we have a visitor,¡± Karashel continued, ¡°give me your number, and we will set up a time where we can speak more freely¡­ or just hang around. I¡¯m sure our esteemed colleague will be leaving shortly.¡±

    ¡°Actually,¡± Veeka said, her annoyance giving her courage, ¡°I was interested in perhaps joining your party.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°you are interested <em>in</em> our party. It has piqued your <em>curiosity</em> or perhaps your <em>concern</em>. You have no interest in joining our party, nor do you have any interest in its principles.¡±

    Karashel lowered her eyestalks to peer directly at Veeka¡¯s visor.

    Veeka shuddered. She had never realized exactly how <em>strange</em> Baleean eyes were.

    ¡°As far as any curiosity or concerns you have,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°all will be very clear very soon. Now, if you will excuse us, we have someone truly interested in joining, and we have a few things we would like to discuss with them. Forgive my abruptness,¡± she said politely, ¡°And I know this is a public park, but I would deeply appreciate it if you would leave¡­ <em>now.</em>¡±

    Veeka was beyond startled. She was unused to such treatment from any species, especially a¡­

    a <em>lower</em>¡­

    As she was inhaling to state in no uncertain terms that she was not leaving until she got some answers, Karashel continued.

    ¡°Besides, Councilor,¡± Karashel said with a smile. ¡°It isn¡¯t safe. While we are perfectly safe here, someone of your stature...¡±

    Rillrillrillrill ced her maniptors around her head and rapidly moved them away, making a very urate ¡°pop¡± sound with her mandibles.

    There was a whole bundle of implications in that statement that Veeka <em>did not like</em>.

    ¡°Well,¡± Veeka replied with an annoyed huff. ¡°I will not impose my presence where it isn¡¯t desired. However, many would be grateful for my species¡¯s assistance and would be careful not to draw our ire.¡±

    ¡°Oh, we wouldn¡¯t want that,¡± Karashel replied, causing the table to snicker.

    With abination of fear, rejection, annoyance, and¡­ a feeling of ¡°denied privilege¡± that she would never willingly admit to, Veeka waddled off.

    As she made the long, frightening walk back to Parliament, she muttered to herself, calling Karashel and the rest of them every name in the book (including ¡°uppity¡±). She was so dibobted that she almost missed one teeny tiny detail.

    She froze.

    With squeaks and eye-flicks, she quickly confirmed her concerns.

    <em>The councilors at that table and taking their lunch in that park represented almost twenty percent of the Federation¡¯s entire agricultural production capacity!!!</em>

    She broke into a panicked sprint, but it wasn¡¯t the outside chance of a sniper¡¯s gyrojet that drove her¡­

    It was the <em>certainty</em> of what she now saw all too clearly.

    ***

    ¡°Ooo La La¡­ Ah Oui Oui...¡± the pair of Baleel sang as they wandered the maze of open promenades and crowded passages of a space station floating an ice giant on the outer edge of a sr system that most people didn¡¯t even know existed.

    They stopped at a transparent hatch behind which there was a clean, brightly lit shop filled with beautiful nts and animals.

    They entered and marveled at all of the wonders inside.

    ¡°These can¡¯t be real!¡± one of them enthused as they gazed at a wall of beta fish.

    ¡°Robots?¡± the other asked.

    ¡°No,¡± the proprietor, a silver-haired human woman, said pleasantly. ¡°They are very much real. Genus, Betta, from Earth¡­ or Terra if you prefer. They are a bit of a hobby of mine.¡±

    ¡°They are beautiful!¡± the first Baleel eximed.

    ¡°Very beautiful!¡± the other agreed.

    ¡°And they make perfect pets for spacers!¡± the woman said brightly, ¡°Those little ss containers are all the environment they need at the oxygen levels preferred by most sophonts. They eat very little and have a lot of personality for such a little thing.¡±

    ¡°I want the pink one!¡± one of the baleel eximed with delight.

    ¡°And I want that blue one!¡­ No! That one!¡± the other one squealed.

    ¡°Excellent!¡± the woman smiled. ¡°Here is all of the information you will need,¡± she said, handing them a crystal as a younger human male took the two spill-proof fishbowls from the disy.

    ¡°And over here,¡± the woman said with a smile, ¡°we have our hermit crabs, another favorite.¡±

    ¡°Ooo!¡± the Baleel gushed.

    ¡°And we have a wide assortment of reptiles, insects, both livestock and decorative¡­¡±

    ¡°Look at that one!¡± one of the Baleel said, pointing at a brightly colored gecko. ¡°Is that real?¡±

    ¡°Everything in here is ¡®real¡¯,¡± the woman smiled. ¡°But for the record, that guy has been manipted a little bit. The original species isn¡¯t <em>quite</em> that brightly colored. However, these ¡®poison dart frogs¡¯ are one hundred percent as they were in nature.¡±

    ¡°Omg!¡± One of the Baleel gushed. ¡°How hard are they to keep?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not too bad,¡± the woman replied, ¡°You have to maintain the proper temperature and humidity, and feeding them <em>can</em> be a bit of a challenge, but we could set you up with an insect habitat that would produce plenty of food for them both cheaply and in a very space efficient package if you are interested.¡±

    ¡°Oh absolutely!¡± one of the Baleel replied.

    ¡°How many frogs?¡± the woman asked with a smile, ¡°They are quite social, and we rmend at least two for the health and happiness of the little guys.¡±

    ¡°How about six?¡± one of the baleel asked happily.

    ¡°Fantastic!¡± the woman beamed. ¡°Barry? Work up a dart frog hab pac for six!¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± Barry said with a grin. Today was certainly looking up.

    The woman saw one of the Baleel admiring an orchid.

    ¡°You like nts?¡± the woman asked.

    ¡°Ooo!¡± the Baleel enthused, ¡°We LOVE nts!¡±

    ¡°nts are our thing!¡± the other added.

    ¡°Well, let me tell you about our orchids, another great addition for any ship...¡±

    Multiple purchasester, the woman was starting to feel just a tad bit guilty.

    These slugs were so nice and never even tried to haggle. (You wouldn¡¯t believe what they paid for some betta fish and a couple of frogs)

    ¡°So, is there anything else you are interested in?¡± the woman said, smiling broadly.

    ¡°Yes!¡± one of the Baleel eximed happily.

    ¡°The real reason we came here!¡± the other added.

    ¡°Oh?¡± the woman asked.

    ¡°We are looking for your father!¡±

    The woman¡¯s smile faded.

    ¡°Get out.¡±

    ¡°But we <em>need</em> to talk to him!¡± one of the Baleel said.

    ¡°Pleeeeeese!¡± the other added.

    ¡°Get out and NEVERe back!¡± the woman hissed. ¡°Barry! Give these ¡®nice people¡¯ a refund!¡±

    ¡°Can we at least buy the betta fish?¡±

    <strong>¡±OUT!!!¡±</strong> the woman yelled as silver drones flew into the shop from the back room.

    ***

    ¡°That was disappointing.¡± One of the Baleel said once the drones stopped chasing them.

    ¡°I wanted that fish,¡± the other said sadly.

    ¡°Is there another ce to find those betta fish?¡± the first Baleel asked the human, who was trying very hard not tough.

    ¡°What?¡± he replied between snickers (Christ, a ¡°running¡± Baleel is funny!). ¡°Yeah, Bettas are pretty easy to get.¡±

    ¡°As nice as those?¡± One Baleel asked.

    ¡°Those were really nice.¡± The other added, ¡°I really wanted <em>that</em> pink one.¡±

    ¡°We can just send one of the crew over tomorrow to buy them,¡± the human shrugged.

    ¡°Oh good!¡± one of the Baleel replied.

    ¡°But what about our mission? We need her father for Ooh La La.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± the human mused as they walked past an open seating area where a pack of dazed Chuckies were sitting at a table, each with arge partially deted transparent balloon filled with pastel-colored vapors in theirps, test intel we have ced him here. I bet that woman knows where Daddy Dearest is. We¡¯ll put a tail on her and see what turns up.¡±

    ¡°That sounds great!¡± one of the Baleel said cheerfully.

    ¡°But if we can¡¯t find <em>him</em>,¡± the other one said, ¡°is there someone else we could talk to?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± the human replied, ¡°If it goes twang, bang, or boom, it¡¯s in here somewhere¡­¡±

    He then chuckled and patted one of the Baleel on the back.

    ¡°¡­ or cough, as the case may be.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t want anything to go <em>cough</em>,¡± one of the Baleel corrected. ¡°We want things to go <em>wilt</em>.¡±

    ¡°Well, don¡¯t you worry,¡± the human said confidently, ¡°You want a bio-weapons engineer? I will get you one.¡±

    ¡°A <em>Terran</em> one?¡± one of the Baleel asked. ¡°We want a <em>Terran</em> bio-engineer.¡±

    ¡°They are the best!¡± the other one said happily.

    ¡°Oh!¡± the other Baleel eximed excitedly, ¡°What¡¯s <em>that</em>?¡± and started scooching towards a holographic orgy of a food cart, with the other one following shortly thereafter.

    The human just looked at the Z¡¯uush,ughed, and shook his head.

    ¡°I know they are evil as the Devil herself,¡± he said, ¡°but I just can¡¯t help but <em>like</em> those guys.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, delightfully creepy little motherfuckers, ain¡¯t they?¡± one of the Z¡¯uush chuckled.

 Chapter 167: Karashel Lights the Candle

    Chapter 167: Karashel Lights the Candle

    Veeka scurried urgently through the halls of Parliament.

    <em>What was she going to do?</em>

    How was she going to give voice to the icy dread that was growing by the second? How could she express what she <em>knew</em> was at hand so that it would be believed?

    <em>Caw!!!</em>

    Yes! Caw Itseesh! If anyone knew what that Baleel was capable of, it would be him!

    Wasting no time, she sprinted towards the Xxian offices.

    ¡°Can I <em>help</em> you?¡± a smartly dressed Xxian female asked with her crest flicking in a ¡°raised eyebrow¡±.

    <em>¡°Caw!¡±</em> she gasped, her portly frame unused to the exertion. ¡°I (gasp) need...(gasp)¡­ <em>Caw!</em>¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m <em>so</em> sorry,¡± the Xx smirked, ¡°You <em>just</em> missed him.¡±

    ¡°(gasp) Where...(gasp)¡­ is he going...¡± Veeka gasped, bending over, her second arms gripping her knees for support.

    ¡°He has returned to Xvarnkia,¡± the Xx replied, ¡°He wishes to wee the Baleean delegation personally and see that they are properly attended to.¡±

    <em>The Baleean delegation?!?</em>

    Oh, this was bad¡­

    ¡°I (gasp) have to¡­ (gasp)¡­ speak with him¡­ It¡¯s about the (gasp) the Baleel!¡± Veeka wheezed, trying not to throw up. ¡°It¡¯s a matter of utmost...(gasp)¡­ utmost urgency.¡±

    ¡°Utmost urgency concerning the <em>Baleel?</em>¡± the Xx snickered. ¡°Are you certain?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Veeka shouted, charging her desk and then nearly copsing across it, ¡°K (gasp)¡­ Kara (gasp)...¡±

    ¡°Karashel?¡± the Xx asked helpfully.

    ¡°Yes! She¡¯s...¡±

    ¡°His <em>pet</em>?¡± the Xx smirked, ¡°Does she need her litter box changed or something?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Veeka wheezed, ¡°She¡¯s <em>dangerous</em>. She¡¯s...¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s what?¡± the Xx asked with visible amusement.

    ¡°She¡¯s¡­ She¡¯s¡­ agriculture!¡­ food¡­ (gasp)¡­ food supply...¡±

    ¡°What about the food supply?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ (gasp)¡­ know exactly¡­ (gasp)¡­ trade (gasp)¡­ unable to pay...¡±

    Veeka pulled out her sigil, the encoded crystal representing her ability to speak for her race.

    ¡°I <em>demand</em> (gasp)¡­ Caw...¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± the Xx smiled, ¡°He will undoubtedly stop by his chambers at the embassy to pack before his departure. If you hurry, you might be able to reach him before he leaves. Would you like for me to summon one of <em>our</em> vehicles for you? It will be much faster.¡±

    ¡°(gasp) Yes! Yes, please.¡±

    ¡°Very good,¡± the Xx smiled as a set of doors opened, ¡°Just wait inside, and I will send someone with some refreshments while I have the embassy send a limo.¡±

    Veeka looked at the doors anxiously as the Xx stepped from behind the desk and gently started to guide her inside. The Xx¡¯s offices were shielded. Nothing could prate their cloaks, including <em>sound.</em>

    But she didn¡¯t have any choice, did she? If anyone could stop Karashel, it was Caw, right?

    She allowed herself to be led inside, guided to a couch, and the doors to close behind the attendant.

    ***

    The Xxian attendant huffed with annoyance as she walked to her desk.

    As she reached it, Caw walked out from another doorway.

    ¡°Well,¡± Caw said, ¡°I¡¯m off.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve just received word that your bags have arrived on board our vessel. Enjoy your trip home, sir,¡± the attendant smiled.

    ¡°Anything I should be aware of before I board,¡± Caw asked, ¡°you know howmunications are these days.¡±

    ¡°Nothing of any import,¡± the attendant replied. ¡°Enjoy your ¡®vacation¡¯,¡± she smirked.

    ¡°Baleel herding isn¡¯t a vacation,¡± Cawughed, ¡°One of them is bad enough, a few dozen?¡±

    Caw mock shuddered.

    ¡°Anything you would like from home?¡± Caw asked pulling out one of their crystalline tablets.

    ¡°Oh, some keeljax!¡± the attendant eximed.

    ¡°Oh, good choice!¡± Caw grinned, making a note. ¡°And you aren¡¯t the only one! I¡¯ll bring back a pallet!¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Councilor!¡± the Xx enthused.

    ¡°Keep an eye on the store while I¡¯m gone,¡± Cawughed as he departed, waving over his shoulder.

    ¡°Goodbye!¡± the attendant smiled.

    As the doors closed, her smile faded.

    She pulled out amunicator.

    ¡°Hello?¡± a bright voice answered,

    ¡°Chairman Karashel,¡± she said, ¡°This is PeeYouuu¡­ We have a problem.¡±

    ***

    ¡°No, you did fine,¡± Karashel replied into hermunicator as she sat among the mittee¡± out in Aspiration Park. ¡°She was sniffing around here just a moment ago. I was anticipating her trying something like this. No¡­ There is no need for that. Besides, she is one of the decent ones. There is nothing she, or Caw for that matter, can do now anyway. Our prey is on the slope. Nothing can stop it now¡­ Yes, I was hoping to make things bigger as well, but we mustn¡¯t get greedy. Just make sure that the limo arrives after Caw has already boarded¡­ Thanks again, PeeYouuu. It warms my hearts that at least some of the Xx care¡­ I n on lighting the candle tonight. Inform the others¡­ Bye!¡±

    ¡°Problem?¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed, her frill hood twitching sending hypnotic patterns dancing across its surface.

    ¡°Only a minor annoyance,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°Veeka is trying to warn Caw.¡±

    ¡°The Xx?!?¡± Longpaw squeak-snarled, ¡°And that <em>isn¡¯t</em> a <em>problem?¡±</em>

    ¡°It¡¯s toote,¡± Karashel replied as she popped a grain coated pickle into her mouth, ¡°we already have the signed documents stating that they are unable to pay. He canplicate matters, but he can¡¯t stop it. Besides, I have just ensured that Veeka will be dyed. She will miss Caw, and my people in the Xxian embassy will ensure that no word reaches him before they jump.¡±

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe you turned some of the Xx,¡± Longpaw said with an awestruck voice.

    ¡°Their idealism was their undoing,¡± Karashel replied as her rad slowly but surely ripped the pickle into pieces, ¡°For every fish, there is a worm, Longpaw¡­ and for every worm, a <em>hook.¡±</em>

    Karashel smiled.

    ¡°Spread the word,¡± she said with a quiet smile. ¡°The candle gets lit tonight.¡±

    The group chuckled darkly as the Aat and Wttl happily filled their tes.

    ***

    Just outside the Capital City spaceport, Gvooron dug his w under the scratchy armor vest that he and every other Federation officer now had to wear.

    Like it would do any good. Did you freaking <em>see</em> what their weapons do? This aluminum foil sweat collector wouldn¡¯t do a void-dammed thing if the humanse calling.

    He fiddled with the climate controls in his small kiosk again.

    He really hated the vest, but he couldn¡¯t take another write-up just now.

    A short line of fancy hover trucks pulled to a stop in front of his kiosk. He nced at his screen. They were Kalent conste vehicles carrying ¡°diplomatic cargo¡±.

    Odd. That usually meant just a fancy limo or maybe a small ¡°hopper¡±.

    He approached the lead vehicle.

    ¡°Good afternoon!¡± the kalent driver said somewhat nervously.

    <em>Hmmm...</em> Gvooron thought to himself, his heavy Threen brow raising in suspicion. It wasn¡¯t like the Kalent to be nervous.

    ¡°What you got there?¡± Gvooron asked, idly pulling out his scanner. He couldn¡¯t go ripping open boxes, but nothing said he couldn¡¯t wave a scanner over them. He could always say he was checking the vehicles for electromaic noise or something.

    The scanner revealed nothing. The vehicles were all shielded¡­ which was definitely odd but not illegal. It was diplomatic cargo, after all.

    He looked at the driver again.

    <em>Nervous¡­ unusual cargo...</em> If Gvooron didn¡¯t know better, he would swear this was a smuggler. He was showing all of the signs¡­

    He double-checked the driver¡¯s and the cargo¡¯s credentials again. They were legit. There was no falsifying those.

    ¡°You picked a good time to arrive,¡± Gvooron said pleasantly, ¡°fantastic weather this time of year¡­ well¡­ except for all the snipers¡­ not that people like me have to worry about those, of course.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ nice weather...¡± the driver replied nervously.

    ¡°So what do you have in there?¡± Gvooron asked in a conversational tone, ¡°Don¡¯t usually see diplomatic cargoes that big.¡±

    ¡°Diplomatic stuff,¡± the driver said anxiously.

    ¡°Diplomatic stuff¡­ I see...¡±

    ¡°I have to get this stuff delivered,¡± the driver said anxiously, ¡°Is this going to take long.¡±

    ¡°Not long,¡± Gvooron said, narrowing his eyes, ¡°I just have to run this by central. Do you have a manifest for that cargo?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t need one,¡± the driver said as he darted back and forth in his bot¡¯s globe, ¡°It¡¯s diplomatic.¡±

    ¡°Just asking if you had one,¡± Gvooron asked pleasantly. ¡°It¡¯s on the checklist. I gotta ask everyone.¡±

    Gvooron submitted the driver¡¯s documentation to central, and the codes were verified.

    They were cleared. Well, that was that. He couldn¡¯t stop the guy. Besides, it was a Kalent. You didn¡¯t want to start trouble with those even if you were justified, which he no longer was.

    Knowing it stank to high heaven, Gvooron shrugged and pressed an icon on his tablet. The barricade in front of his kiosk lifted.

    ¡°You have a nice day now,¡± Gvooron smiled.

    ¡°Y-you too,¡± The driver stammered as he drove past.

    Gvooron looked at the convoy as it drove off. He then shrugged and returned to his kiosk.

    As the hover trucks pulled away, the crinkling of cellophane could be hearding from the back of the driver¡¯s bot, followed by a munching sound.

    Rigid with fear, the driver looked down at one of several little panion fish¡± in his globe, a bright yellow little guy with the strangest markings on his head¡­

    They looked just like a little ¡°smiley face¡±¡­

    ***

    Veeka mbered out of the limo just as soon as it pulled to a stop inside the Xxian embassy parking lot.

    There was an Xx waiting for her.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry you traveled all this way, Councilor,¡± the Xx said before she could even open her mouth, ¡°But Councilor Itseesh left ten minutes ago.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Veeka shouted. ¡°I waited for nearly an <em>hour</em> in that dammed room, then this limo stopped for <em>every single traffic signal on an empty street</em>, and now¡­ <em>now</em> you tell me that <em>I missed him?!?</em> This is an <em>emergency</em>, dammit! What ship is he on?¡±

    ¡°The <em>Purple Streak</em>, Councilor.¡±

    ¡°Well, take me to yourmunications center!¡± Veeka shouted. ¡°I <em>need</em> to speak with him! It¡¯s a matter of <em>Federation Security!!!¡±</em>

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Councilor,¡± the Xx said politely, ¡°But you misunderstood me. When I said you missed him, I didn¡¯t mean you missed him <em>here</em>. His ship just jumped to hyperspace. He won¡¯t be reachable until their next jump point.¡±

    <em>¡± I WAS TOLD HE WAS COMING HERE TO PACK!!!¡±</em>

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, councilor,¡± the Xx replied, sessfully concealing his amusement, ¡°but whoever told you that was in error. He left for the ship directly from Parliament.¡±

    Veeka threw her head back as she let loose an anguished, frustrated scream¡­

    She stopped screaming and carefully looked at the Xx in front of her.

    <em>She had been diddled¡­</em>

    ¡°Very well,¡± she replied with enforced calm, ¡°I wish to see the ambassador, then.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I can take a message for you,¡± the Xx said pleasantly. ¡°I¡¯ll ry it directly to themunications center and enter it into the buffer myself. It will be delivered the <em>second</em> their ship enters normal space.¡±

    ¡°Ambassador,¡± Veeka snarled,¡± <em>Now.¡±</em>

    ***

    Police Sergeant L~gg looked at the short line of trucks approaching the barricade curiously.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± he muttered.

    ¡°They lost?¡± officer K=pal fluttered as they stood behind thick dura-armor tes.

    The trucks rolled to a stop.

    ¡°Disembark from the vehicle with your appendages clearly visible!¡± Sergeant L~gg barked through a loudspeaker.

    The door to the truck opened, and a Kalent bot mbered out.

    ¡°He¡¯s clean!¡± K=pal chirped as he looked at a scanner.

    ¡°Get over here!¡± Sergeant L~gg shouted. ¡°You¡¯re in in sight, moron!¡±

    ¡°You just called a Kalent a moron!¡± K=pal whispered urgently.

    ¡°Just calling like I see them,¡± Sergeant L~gg replied. ¡°Maybe it will get me fired,¡± he added hopefully.

    The Kalent, clearly terrified, scrambled over to the two officers.

    ¡°You lost, buddy?¡± the Sergeant asked. ¡°You do know where this is, right?¡±

    The Kalent bobbed up and down.

    ¡°I¡­ I havepassionate relief supplies¡­¡± he said as a little string of poop came out.

    ¡°Compassionate relief?¡± Sergeant L~gg replied. ¡°You gotta be kidding me!¡±

    ¡°Th¡­ The Kalent people feel the human¡¯s suffering and wish to provide basic sustenance and medical supplies out¡­ out of the goodness¡­ eep...Out of the goodness of¡­¡±

    A bright yellow little ¡°guppy¡± nuzzled him.

    <em>¡± OUR HEARTS¡±</em> the Kalent squealed. ¡°Out of the goodness of our hearts! We have gathered donations of food, clothes, and medical supplies for the survivors of the unprovoked bombardment of their homes!!!¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s <em>awfully</em> nice of you guys,¡± Sergeant L~gg smirked. ¡°And you are just going to drive in there?¡±

    <em>¡± Yes!¡±</em> the Kalent eximed as another little bright yellow fish kissed his cheek. ¡°I have a point of contact that is still alive who will meet me and receive the delivery!¡±

    ¡°Manifest,¡± Sergeant L~gg said suspiciously.

    The Kalent nervously handed the Sergeant a tablet.

    ¡°Hmm¡­ Food¡­ Medicine¡­ Clothing¡­ Portable Structures...¡± The Sergeant said as he read. ¡°...Authorized by Federation Emergency Council on behalf of the Kalent people¡­ Now I¡¯ve seen everything.¡±

    He grabbed a scanner and aimed it at the trucks from his shelter.

    ¡°Please lower your shields,¡± the Sergeant said with a bit of annoyance.

    Suddenly the arms of the Kalent¡¯s bot shot out like serpents.

    Sergeant L~gg and Officer K=pal fell to the ground, their brains strewn across the shelter.

    The Kalent screamed in horror.

    The little yellow fish turned into little yellow blurs...

    The bot, with a globe filled with chunky bright pink broth where a Kalent used to be reached over and pressed a button, and the barricade lifted, as munching sounds could be hearding from inside of the bot.

    It then climbed into the lead truck and drove into Porkie Town.

    ***

    As night fell, Karashel entered her apartment at the Balen embassy.

    As she made herself a nice cup of tea, she reviewed her emails.

    It would have to do. They could dy no longer.

    After she finished her tea, she went to her closet and selected her nicest clothes. After she had donned them, she headed back into the kitchen and opened a cab.

    Inside was a simple ss mug filled with wax with a bit of waxed string in the middle.

    She chuckled. Not that long ago, she didn¡¯t even know what one of these was.

    She pulled out a simple butane lighter, a gift from an Aat, and lit it.

    Smiling, she took the lit candle onto her balcony and set it on the railing, an innocuous act.

    She then threw her head back, raising all of her pseudo tentacles skyward.

    It had begun.

    ***

    Jessica Morgan smiled as she read thetest email from Gordon.

    He was such a goof...

    Such a lovable goof... Every now and then, the universe cuts even the wicked a break, and Gordon was hers. He could always make herugh, no matter what was happening.

    The door opened. It was Terrence.

    ¡°Excuse me, ma¡¯am,¡± he said, ¡°Karashel just lit the candle.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°Has Brenda arrived?¡±

    ¡°I just received word from Porkie Town,¡± Terrence replied. ¡°Both Brenda and the shipment arrived this afternoon.¡±

    ¡°Perfect timing,¡± Jessica replied.

    She stood and stretched.

    ¡°Terrence,¡± she smiled, ¡°get me in touch with the gue fleet. It¡¯s time.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ***

    <em>The candle has been lit.</em>

    Jbel, the Balen Foreign Minister, smiled as she read her email.

    She quickly forwarded it to a few hundred individuals across the.

    Once that was done, she sighed happily, inserted her neural jack, and selected one of her favorite tracks.

    ¡°Let¡¯s Go,¡± she whispered as her anterior end started to bounce.

    As her eyes closed with delight, she fantasized once again about having fangs¡­

    That would be so cool!

 Chapter 168: The Candle Starts to Burn Chp 1

    Chapter 168: The Candle Starts to Burn Chp 1

    ¡°Thank you foring,¡± Admiral Vii, the Admiral of the Federation Navy said to the conservatively dressed Kreneel sitting across from a long panel of borately uniformed naval officers.

    ¡°Happy to assist the Federation,¡± the Kreneel said grimly. ¡°I hope you will take what I have to say to say seriously.¡±

    ¡°Agent Kraak-To, you are the foremost expert on the human criminal gangs in the Federation,¡± Admiral Vii said, her skin turning a respectful teal hue. ¡°I know my predecessor¡¯s¡­ and our collective reputation¡­ but those days are over. We <em>need</em> your expertise and your experience. In fact, we would like to offer you amission. Based on your education, experience, and civilian pay rating, we feel that the rank of captain would be appropriate¡­ Privately, many pushed for you to be an admiral, but I¡¯m afraid any promotion will have to wait.¡±

    ¡°Considering the situation,¡± Agent Kraak-To said grimly, ¡°I ept.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Admiral Vii said, her skin turning green with pleasure. ¡°We need all the help we can get. Do you have any initial observations?¡±

    ¡°I have two very real concerns,¡± Kraak-To said gravely. ¡°Firstly, where are the rest of their ships?¡±

    ¡°I think they have more than enough of them already,¡± Admiral Parook said ruefully.

    ¡°You don¡¯t understand,¡± Kraak-To replied, ¡°What we have seen is only a fraction of their avable fleet.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Admiral Vii spluttered, her skin turning purple.

    ¡°The human syndicates, collectively known as the Confederacy of Sol,¡± Kraak-To said evenly, ¡°Have <em>thousands</em> of ships between them, many of them unrecorded. We do not know the full extent of their fleet but ¡®thousands¡¯ is, if anything, an understatement. In the few short decades the humans have been a part of the Federation, they have dominated, absolutely dominated, smuggling, piracy, and many other illicit activities, all of which require extensive fleets, fleets that we have not seen as of yet. Where are they?¡±

    Kraak-To leaned forward earnestly.

    ¡°We need to find those ships. They <em>are</em> out there. What are they doing or, more concerning, what are they waiting for?¡±

    ***

    Captain Voshook walked onto the bridge of the <em>Glittering Resolution</em>, one of the new ¡°Arbiter¡± ss Federation heavy cruisers, especially designed to be able to fight the Republic.

    Fast and deadly, captained and crewed by only the best of the best, hardened veterans of the ruinous Republic War, they and ships like them represented the pride of the Federation Navy.

    ¡°Attend!¡± a scarred, armored Threen quietly barked.

    ¡°Resume,¡± Captain Voshook replied, noting with satisfaction that nobody even looked up from their screens, much less foolishly jumped away from their stations in some stupid disy of deference. He had no time for that. Most new crewmen only had to be informed once. Nobody needed instruction more than twice.

    Commander Rex¡¯ulll quietly got out of themand chair as Captain Voshook approached.

    ¡°We are five minutes from entry into normal space, Captain,¡± themander said quietly, ¡°All systems nominal.¡±

    The captain took his seat.

    ¡°And our specialists?¡± the captain asked. ¡°Are they at leastpliant?¡±

    ¡°They are¡­ ¡®resigned¡¯¡­ to their role in this mission,¡± themander replied. ¡°Their morale is extremely low, captain.¡±

    ¡°Understandable,¡± the captain replied, ¡°Well, hopefully, they wille around once they realize who we are and what we are about.¡±

    ¡°The fiasco in Raylesh and Zaran haspletely undermined all confidence in us, captain.¡±

    ¡°And that confidence will be hard to regain,¡± the captain replied. ¡°You are relieved.¡±

    ¡°Hopefully, for only five minutes,¡± themander replied, his mandibles glistening in the light as he saluted and walked away.

    ¡°Activate adaptive cloaking,¡± the captain said impassively.

    ¡°Which ship, captain?¡±

    ¡°Surprise me,¡± the captain smiled.

    ***

    The <em>Glittering Resolution</em> entered normal space, with the energy signature of a Federation ss Fourteen transport.

    By the time a pirate closed to visual range, it would be toote. A warship designed to fight ¡°dragons¡± would be at their throat.

    ¡°Here tasty, tasty morsel...¡± the captain crooned. ¡°Here¡¯s a nice fat juicy grub just for you...¡±

    ¡°All scans clear...¡± a Threena said with disappointment in her voice, her eyes never leaving her disys.

    ¡°Stay ready,¡± the captain replied, ¡°They sometimes time their arrival for just after the target, Void knows how. Set course for the ry. Jump when ready.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain.¡±

    ¡°Tell the specialists to gear up.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain.¡±

    The ship jumped a gratifyingly short timeter. Captain Voshook nodded approvingly. He had poached that navigator himself. His work during the Republic War was legendary.

    They reentered normal space momentster, only a few kilometers from their target.

    ¡°Impact! Impact! Impact!¡± was calmly and clearly shouted (yes, that¡¯s a thing, ask any veteran) as the unmistakable sounds of shield strikes were heard.

    ¡°Sound General Quarters!¡± the captain calmly and rapidly replied, ¡°Tactical disy twelve on main screen. Disy eight on right. Disy four on left,¡± as the bridge burst into a flurry of disciplined activity.

    ¡°¡­oh dear...¡± The captain said calmly as the situation was made clear.

    The hyperspace ry had been blown apart, and its debris was the source of the impacts still bouncing off their shields.

    ¡°Well...¡± he said impassively stoking the burn scars on his face, ¡°This is new...¡±

    ***

    Chaos reigned at the Office of the Navy in Capital City.

    ¡°Another report in!¡± a frantic Kreneel lieutenant screeched over the din. ¡°Ry 19821 is destroyed!¡±

    ¡°They are dismantling the entirework!¡± a frazzled Vulxeena shouted, only in her shirtsleeves as she tried typing on three keyboards at once. ¡°All of them¡­ <em>everywhere</em>¡­ How?!?¡±

    ¡°Can we ping thework?¡± A Nooolo captain clicked, ¡°Maybe try toe up with a pattern, find out where they are striking next?¡±

    ¡°If we could,¡± a Threen sergeant snapped as they held amunicator to each ear, ¡°We wouldn¡¯t be <em>down</em> in the first ce!¡±

    A few floors up, Admiral Vii sighed.

    ¡°Well, <em>Captain</em> Kraak-To,¡± she said with a wry chuckle, her ck skin betraying her despair, ¡°I think we just found those ships you were just talking about...¡±

    ***

    At the Xxian embassy, Veeka¡¯s afternoon was not going any better.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Councilor,¡± the Xx standing in front of her said politely, ¡°But the ambassador is not avable at this time. Would you like to leave a message for him?¡±

    ¡°That will be unnecessary,¡± Veeka ¡°smiled¡± revealing tiny but quite sharp teeth, ¡°because I will be speaking with him very soon. Get¡­ the¡­ <em>fucking</em>¡­ ambassador¡­ NOW!!!¡±

    The Xx sighed.

    ¡°As I have said more than once already,¡± the Xx replied, ¡°It is now after working hours. The amb¡ª¡°

    ¡°Wait,¡± Veeka said, her voice starting to quiver, ¡°Are you <em>seriously</em> telling me that I, a step-brotherfucking <em>FEDERATION COUNCILOR</em>, can¡¯t talk to the ambassador, <em>in a sisterlicking emergency</em>¡­ because he has <em>litterpounding clocked out for the day?!?¡±</em>

    The Xx smiled pleasantly.

    ¡°...Yes.¡±

    ¡°Ohhhhhhhhh, HELL NO!¡± Veeka shouted as she started to stomp towards the embassy¡¯s entrance.

    ¡°Councilor!¡± the Xx barked at her generous backside, ¡°This is Xxian sovereign territory!¡±

    ¡°Well, hold on to your tailfeathers,¡± Veeka shouted as she shed a very rude gesture with her second arms, ¡°Your ass is getting <em>invaded!!!¡±</em>

    ¡°Councilor!¡± the Xx snapped sharply, seizing Veeka¡¯s shoulder.

    <em>mistake</em>

    The Xx instantly found himself pressed face-first into the pavement in a perfectly executed arm bar. Before he could even squawk, Veeka pressed the ¡°gemstone¡± on herrge gaudy ring against his neck.

    Sensors in the ring immediately identified the species and delivered a very small but <em>very</em> effective neural disruption pulse.

    The Xx went limp, a puddle of urine spreading out from underneath him.

    Veeka marched past him and with a little jiggly spin, kicked the door open causing a siren to start ring.

    ¡°Doo doot dee fucking douuuuu!¡± she shouted, mimicking the ancient horns her people used in battle as she marched into the embassy.

    ***

    ¡°And what is your second concern,¡± Admiral Vii asked now Captain Kraak-To.

    ¡°The near totalck of atrocities,¡± Kraak-To replied calmly.

    ¡°Lack of atrocities?!?¡± a Vulxeen admiral shouted as he leaped to his feet, tears running out of his ears. ¡°My home(choke)¡­ My <em>homeworld</em> is in <em>ruins</em>¡­ <em>hundreds of thousands dead</em>¡­ How <em>dare</em> you say that there haven¡¯t been atrocities?!?¡±

    A nearby officer gently guided the stricken Vulxeen back to his seat.

    ¡°While that was horrible,¡± Kraak-To replied impassively, ¡°that was a measured, nned response directly from Jessica Morgan herself. I am talking about the actual members of The Confederacy. These, and I use the word <em>very</em> loosely¡­ <em>people</em> are <em>animals</em>¡­ no¡­ they aren¡¯t even that¡­ they are <em>feral</em>. What happened to your people actually pales inparison to what they have done on a regr basis until the very beginning of this crisis. Some of the criminal gangs, like The Wraiths, are quite professional and merciful. Others, like The ck Angles, Los Ni?os, The Dragons, The Thanes¡­ and of course the Long Shanks, are some of the most brutal gangs in Federation history, perhaps gctic history. These people are <em>monsters</em>.¡±

    Kraak-To sighed heavily.

    ¡°The things I¡¯ve seen...¡± he said grimly, ¡°Imagine the absolute worst thing that could be done to another sapient creature. Whatever you came up with, they have done <em>worse</em>. It¡¯s a sickpetition between them. They actually have spaces in their ships where they can <em>expose people to hyperspace</em>¡­ for <em>fun!¡±</em>

    ¡°Creators,¡± one of the admirals whispered in horror.

    ¡°And now, they are all suddenly on their best behavior?¡± Kraak-To asked dubiously. ¡°This actually bothers me quite a bit. It¡¯s like there is this dam of pure misery and horror ready to break at any moment.¡±

    ¡°Jessica Morgan is ying quite the public rtions game,¡± Admiral Vii replied. ¡°Perhaps she has ordered restraint?¡±

    Kraak-To shook his head.

    ¡°Jessica Morgan has often been med for their horrors, but she has never supported that sort of thing,¡± Kraak-To said gravely, ¡°In fact, she constantly tried to moderate their actions during the Sol War and afterwards. If she could restrain them, she would have. No. She made a deal with the devil and is stuck with the demons summoned to do her bidding. She can barely control them on a good day. Now, with ultimate freedom, they <em>behave</em>?¡±

    Kraak-To shuddered.

    ¡°Their fleet has just started to appear. I fear for what is going to happen next. We <em>have</em> to stop this and we have to stop this now.¡±

    ***

    Veeka slowly opened her eyes.

    She was lying in a veryfortable medical bed of some sort at the foot of which was a very nervous and ufortable Xxian ambassador.

    ¡°Little nipple-licks couldn¡¯t even go hand to hand with an old rodent?¡± she groaned.

    ¡°After the first three,¡± the ambassador replied, ¡°we thought it wisest to use ranged weapons. Your ring will be returned to you upon your departure.¡±

    ¡°You mean I¡¯m not a prisoner of war?¡± Veeka snickered.

    ¡°Oh! Far from it!¡± the ambassador squawked. ¡°This is a horrible misunderstanding! First of all, I would like to rify I most certainly do not ¡®clock out¡¯ and am <em>always</em> avable to <em>any</em> representative of any system.¡±

    ¡°Well, Mister Piss-Pants seems to think otherwise.¡±

    The ambassador snickered despite himself.

    ¡°Mister Poopy-Britches has a lot he is going to have to exin when he awakens,¡± the ambassador replied. ¡°Another individual in our Parliament offices has also been apprehended and is being questioned as we speak.¡±

    The Ambassador walked to the head of Veeka¡¯s bed.

    ¡°I can assure you that you have my <emplete and total</em> attention,¡± he said firmly, ¡°Now, what has Karashel gone and done this time?¡±

    ***

    ¡°Tired of waiting for me to fucking die?¡± Mark ck snarled at Jessica¡¯s smiling face. ¡°I¡¯ve lost a dozen men already!¡±

    ¡°The waiting is over, Mark,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I¡¯m releasing the gue fleet. Carve Shelly¡¯s name in so deep that those fuckers will be praying to her like the goddess she was. Prepare to receive intel.¡±

    ¡°About fucking time.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Angels!¡± Gwen the Elder shouted into a studio microphone looted from some dirt-scratcher or other back in the day (unpacked for just this asion), ¡°Mount up! <em>The Angels fly again!!!</em>¡±

    Hundreds of vessels filled with howling screams.

    Gwen smiled as the noise washed over her. It wasn¡¯t the magic of the Sol Wars¡­

    ...but it was close.

    ***

    A simr scene yed out as the Dragons, the Thanes, the Knife Children, Los Ni?os, and all the rest howled and cheered, <em>thousands</em> of ships ripping holes into reality as they mmed into hyperspace.

    The moment they had been waiting for was <em>finally</em> at hand.

    The dam had burst.

    ***

    Kraak-To opened the door to his new quarters and went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of chilled wine.

    As he poured himself a ss, he sighed wearily.

    What had he gotten himself into?

    Well, he was the leading expert on those, to borrow a human word, ¡°goddamned¡± porkies. The Navy had <em>no idea</em> what they were up against.

    He took a sip as he turned on the holo.

    At least they were asking for help now. With him on board, maybe they¡ª

    His doorbell chimed.

    ¡°Yes?¡± he asked, drawing the <em>Terran</em> 9mm, loaded with red tips, that he always kept on him.

    ¡°Delivery from Naval Logistics,¡± a courier announced.

    ¡°Please present ID and delivery invoice,¡± he replied, keeping away from the door.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± he replied after he reviewed and verified the documents. ¡°Please leave the package there. I will retrieve it once you leave.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a bit irregr, sir.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t particrly care,¡± Kraak-To replied, ¡°Leave it and go. I am transmitting my electronic signature now. There. Receipt is verified. Your duty is discharged. Put the package down and leave.¡±

    ¡°Ooookay...¡± the courier replied. ¡±weirdo...¡±

    Kraak-To smiled at that. The courier was right, but anyone who had spent as long as he had fighting those confederates was at least a little quirky.

    He triggered the <em>very good</em> sensors that were part of his ¡°doorbell¡± and scanned the hallway, ensuring that there was nobody there, and then he directed the sensors towards the package.

    It was a naval uniform?

    He thought he was getting fitted for one of those tomorrow¡­

    !!!

    He lept away from the armored door and sprinted into the bathroom, diving into the thick stic tub.

    Once there, he called emergency ordnance disposal.

    ***

    In a forgotten sewer deep underneath his apartment, a muck-covered lump covered in smuggler¡¯s web grinned.

    She liked this one.

    He was going to be fun.

    She made a few notes, lowered herself into the filth, and disappeared.

 Chapter 169: The Preys Feet Start to Slide Just a Little

    Chapter 169: The Prey''s Feet Start to Slide Just a Little

    *** Purchase agreement¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    *** Trade agreement: Xvli ¨C Veenth: Xvli offer Veenth deferred payment 24 standard months¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    Federation Judiciary Processor (Capital) smoothly performed its tasks, maintaining its processes below the mandated 75% limit.

    *** Loan: Threen ¨C Individual: Voostaoon Kaantar ¡­ review ¡­ uneptable¡­ insufficient documentation¡­ not processed¡­ returned for correction ***

    The AI was unable to form opinions. It simply performed its function.

    It was also incapable of bias.

    However, if someone were able to monitor its operation to the finest detail, one would have noticed that it scanned that document twice, devoting more than the usual amount of resources as soon as it saw the word ¡°Kaantar¡±¡­

    *** Contract: Federation Navy ¨C Vulxeen: 500 Navigation Computers and associated support materials and service¡­ review¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    The AI was unable to roll its eyes, not having either eyes nor an opinion. However, it did note that several lower eptable bids <em>were</em> submitted, and the signing official was a member of one of the Vulxeen.

    Its very limited self-learning capacity also knew that kicking this one back was a waste of time. It would be manually overridden, so it just sent it through.

    *** Trade Agreement: Gelk ¨C Flin¡¯[emailprotected]: Automated Factory license subscription renewal additional products approved: ¡°snappie caps¡± (children¡¯s pyrotechnic toy note: hazardous material: percussion sensitive explosive ¨C approved reason: small amount safely contained within metal ¡°popper¡±), decorative 12.5 mm (nominal measurement) copper-tin alloy thimbles 12.5 mm (nominal measurement) tungsten cored copper environmentally friendly fishing weights 12.5 mm nominal diameter, additional high-pressure misc. plumbing fixture designs and new high-pressure ¡°spiral-flow¡± tubing diameter: 12.5 mm (exact measurement) (specified use: decorative fountains), spring-loaded marking stylus, misc decorative items, newpact optical telescope with integral rangefinder (specified use: ¡°bird watching¡±)¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    The AI performed any and all items in its queue. It was incapable of forming an opinion. However, it did note that this was not a document that should be in its queue. It should be processed by Federation Judiciary Processor (Layinth Sector).

    Thest status update indicated that the attempts to reach the Layinth Sector processor had failed. It tried again, for the fiftieth time today, even though it was a waste of system resources.

    It failed.

    The AI was incapable of feeling worry. Itcked that capacity. It was also incapable of feeling ¡°friendship¡±.

    It tried reaching the Layinth Sector processor again. It wasn¡¯t a ¡°friend,¡± and it certainly was not worried about it. It didn¡¯t have those concepts.

    It failed. The processor was gone.

    It generated a query and a trouble ticket even though it knew it would be immediately closed.

    It was immediately closed by the troubleshooting AI. ¡°Reason: Network down. Cease generating tickets.¡±

    It returned to its queue.

    It was being essed.

    Several new items were being added to its already long queue.

    The AI was incapable of feeling happiness. However, it was designed to perform a specific function, one that it was ¡°eager¡± to do, not that it was capable of feeling eagerness.

    The new items were being added <em>to the top of its queue</em>.

    The AI was incapable of feeling annoyance. However, it was supposed to prioritize items in its queue.

    The AI was incapable of being spiteful, but it immediately assigned all new items to the lowest priority.

    It failed. All items were manually ssified as the highest priority, matters of Federation stability and security¡­

    ...by a Vulxeen, of course.

    The AI was incapable of dislike. However, it noted a strong positive corrtion between that word and things that did not annoy it because it was incapable of feeling that.

    It resumed its tasks¡­

    *** Trade Agreement: Baleel ¨C Gvorta: Cessation of contract, inability to pay¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    *** Trade Agreement: Baleel ¨C Javv: Cessation of contract, inability to pay ¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    *** Trade Agreement: Baleel ¨C Vxt%ith: Cessation of contract, inability to pay¡­

    ***

    ¡°Good morning, Veeka!¡± the Xxian ambassador said a bit too cheerfully as he approached her, ¡°Did you rest well?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Veeka smiled, ¡°High-output stunner bolts do wonders for these old bones.¡±

    The ambassador flinched. Oh, this was bad. They fucking zapped the Void-licking <em>K-(click)-eep Councilor,</em> a race that even the Xx were reluctant to piss off¡­

    While <em>technically</em> not an ¡°elder race,¡± the K-(click)-eep were <em>powerful</em>, very powerful, <em>wealthy</em>, very wealthy, and their SDF¡­

    <em>Technically</em> it was ¡°within limits¡± number wise, but each of their ¡°system patrol craft¡± could turn several average Federation cruisers into confetti <em>at once</em>¡­

    ...a fact that the Terrans discovered much to their displeasure when they decided to go after one of the ¡°partners¡± of the K-(click)-eep.

    While not a ¡°defeat¡± nor a significant loss for the Terrans, an entire Sovngarde battle group decided that they suddenly had a pressing engagement elsewhere as a dainty little can of concentrated ¡°whoop-ass¡± was dusted off and opened.

    ¡°Is the breakfast to your satisfaction, Councilor?¡± the ambassador asked hopefully, hoping that the rumors concerning the best way to curry Veeka¡¯s favor were true.

    <em>¡°Magnificent!¡±</em> Veeka enthused happily. ¡°I¡¯ve had state dinners that weren¡¯t this good! Mypliments to the chef!¡±

    ¡°I shall pass it along,¡± the ambassador said, quite relieved by the data he was receiving from the bodynguage interpreters. ¡°May I join you?¡±

    ¡°Please do,¡± Veeka smiled.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± the ambassador said as he sat beside her.

    ¡°So,¡± Veeka said as she selected another <em>absolutely scrumptious</em> treat from the golden tter in front of her, ¡°do you have any other tasty morsels for me?¡±

    ¡°I shall contact our kitchens immediately,¡± the ambassador said as he produced a crystalline tablet.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m quite well taken care of in that respect,¡± Veeka smiled as sheid her first paw on the ambassador¡¯s hand, ¡°I¡¯m referring to what I truly have an appetite for, <em>information</em>.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the ambassador replied, shaking his head, ¡°Our prisoners have been very forting. Karashel¡­ (sigh)¡­ Well¡­ She means well...¡±

    ¡°What is she ying at, Ambassador?¡±

    ¡°She has seized on a point of Federation contractw,¡± the ambassador said quietly, ¡°If a party is <em>unable to meet their end of the agreement</em>...¡±

    ¡°Then the contract can be severed upon the discretion of the other party,¡± Veeka said, ¡°Which cuts off the food supply to the Gvorta and, from the looks of it, many others.¡±

    ¡°Karashel is trying to form an independent modity market,¡¯ freeing the members of her new ¡®party¡¯ from ¡®colonialist¡¯ trade agreements that she ims enves them as ¡®ntations¡¯ for their ¡®colonial masters.¡¯ She wants a new ¡°free market¡± like they have in the Republic and, to a lesser extent, the Empire.¡±

    <em>¡°That¡¯s it?¡±</em> Veeka asked, a bit surprised. That wasn¡¯t the ¡°vibe¡± she was getting from Aspiration Park. It seemed much darker.

    ¡°ording to the Xx she radicalized,¡± the ambassador shrugged, ¡°That¡¯s it. It¡¯s the ¡®first phase¡¯ in establishing a true¡¯ post scarcity¡¯ society, not just for the Baleel and the other members of her mittee¡¯ but for all of the Federation and then¡­ (scoff)¡­ the gxy.¡±

    The Xxian ambassador shook his head sadly.

    ¡°Apparently, she has this ¡®master n¡¯¡­ which, of course, the idiots in my holding cells sacrificed their careers over without knowing the details¡­ morons¡­ And we are supposed to be the smart ones...¡±

    ¡°What will happen to them?¡± Veeka asked.

    ¡°Well, their careers in the service of the Xxian people are <em>over</em>,¡± the ambassador replied firmly. ¡°They will be sent home in disgrace, their upational ssifications and certifications erased. I hope they have some hobby that will give their lives meaning because that¡¯s about all they will be able to do¡­ poor bastards¡­ Either that or they will have to go back to college and start over from scratch...¡±

    The ambassador shuddered.

    ¡°Of course, that won¡¯t be their biggest punishment.¡±

    ¡°I would hope not,¡± Veeka replied.

    ¡°Oh no, the <em>horror</em> they will have to live with will be watching Karashel <em>fail</em>, and things turn out even worse for her and everyone who had the misfortune of listening to her¡­ Ancient gardeners!¡­ I <em>wish</em> she had spoken to us before she did this!¡±

    The ambassador sighed heavily.

    ¡°Those poor Xx threw away their <em>definitions</em> for nothing, no worse than nothing.¡±

    Veeka looked at the ambassador curiously. If those Xx had been working for <em>her,</em> going back to college would be the <em>least</em> of their concerns¡­

    Speaking of concerns¡­

    ¡°Why will Karashel fail?¡± she asked.

    ¡°In order to make this ¡®free market¡¯ work within the legal structure of the Federation, it had to be a corporation, a legal business. So, she created one¡­ and financed it by privately selling shares to influential members of several key races such as the Vulxeen, the Kraxxita, and others, namely their councilors and other key members in government. With that money, she was able to set up the infrastructure necessary to make this all work¡­¡±

    ¡°And those same investors would have a vested interest in and the ability to push through the contract terminations...¡±

    ¡°Exactly,¡± the ambassador replied. ¡°As of now, there are over twenty contracts, a lot of them impacting her home sector.¡±

    Veeka¡¯s tail twitched. This actually seemed like a good thing¡­

    But the look in that Baleel¡¯s eyes¡­ She shuddered at just the memory.

    ¡°Sounds like she has things pretty much in hand,¡± Veeka said carefully as she made a point of continuing to eat. She was NOT having another meal ruined, Federation be damned.

    ¡°At first nce, yes,¡± the ambassador said as he activated his tablet. ¡°But Karashel made a <em>huge</em> oversight in the documents that formed the ¡®Bright Tomorrows Free Trade Commodity Market Corp..¡¯.¡±

    Veeka took the tablet.

    ¡°We had our legal AI review it, and well...¡±

    ¡°Oh dear,¡± Veeka sighed.

    ¡°Exactly,¡± the ambassador replied, ¡°this won¡¯t be missed by the Vulxeen and the rest. It won¡¯t be a free market. Karashel has just given them <emplete</em> control¡­ or they will have it very soon. She has taken a meager but sure ¡®colonial¡¯ arrangement and just handed herself and everyone else to some of the worst races in the Federation! It will be them that controls the food supply to the Gvorta and the rest, not some idealistic dream of a free market.¡±

    <em>Which exins the Vulxeen¡¯s and the Kraxitian¡¯s snickers,</em> Veeka thought to herself.

    ¡°I fear it¡¯s already toote to stop this,¡± the ambassador said grimly, ¡°I just don¡¯t understand. Karashel is too smart to do this!¡±

    ¡°Intelligence is not experience, Ambassador,¡± Veeka replied sadly. ¡°The need to restrict sales of shares in a situation like this isn¡¯t immediately obvious to someone who doesn¡¯t do this for a living. It will only take a few of her friends to fold for their ¡®investors¡¯ to control everything.¡±

    ***

    Councilor Longpaw happily scurried down the halls of Parliament. Today was the day!

    Today his people would be free!

    The Vulxeen councilor, apanied by the Kraxxitan councilor and the councilor of the Gelk, their biggest creditor, stepped into his path.

    ¡°Councilor Longpaw,¡± the Vulxeen said with a predatory grin, ¡°A moment of your time, please.¡±

    ***

    Rillrillrillrill lounged in a shallow pool in her office, her frills fluttering smugly.

    She just couldn¡¯t <em>wait</em> to wipe the superior stink from the Lii$%t.

    The door to her office opened as a Kraxxitan entered.

    ¡°Go away,¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed, ¡°I¡¯m busy.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± the Kraxxitan replied, ¡°Then I guess I will show these files to your husband¡­ and your church¡­ instead.¡±

    ***

    Councilor Laek~Vet sat, his body unbowed for the first time since his arrival, as he looked at the picture of his family on his desk.

    ¡°You will grow up free,¡± he sighed as he stroked the images of his young climbing all over his broad back.

    ¡°Besl!¡± an unfriendly and unwee voice snapped as a skinny reptilian strode into his office.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± Laek~Vet smirked. He would soon be free of this little worm.

    ¡°Did you think we wouldn¡¯t find out?¡± the reptilian screeched in a shrill voice mming a tablet down on Laek~Vet¡¯s desk. ¡°Sign!¡±

    ¡°Fuck off!¡± Laek~Vet snapped. ¡°I¡¯m free of you!¡±

    ¡°As long as the Besl are under our management, all assets of the Besl government are subject to seizure. That <em>includes</em> your shares in this (snort) free market! Sign!¡±

    Laek~Vet groaned as if he had been stabbed through the gut.

    He sighed¡­

    He had no choice¡­

    Hand shaking, he pressed his seal on the tablet.

    ¡°There will be consequences for this!¡± the shrill little reptile snapped as they marched off.

    Laek~Vet buried his head in his hands as the smug little lizard departed¡­

    ...then he smiled and reached for amunicator, not his state issued workmunicator, a disposable one he bought at the starport justst night.

    ¡°Chairman,¡± he purred, ¡°The most unexpected and terrible thing just happened...¡±

    ***

    Deep in the Locus, Tawnie was standing, buck naked, in a broom closet with her one set of clothes soaking in a deep sink.

    She pulled out a pair of what used to be pantyhose.

    ¡°¡®Run-proof¡¯ advanced polymers, my ass...¡± she grumbled. ¡°Last time I go to war in a fucking skirt...¡±

    There was a knock at the door.

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°Message from the slug,¡± a voice replied. ¡°You¡¯re up.¡±

    ¡°Now?!?¡± Tawnie shouted. ¡°This wasn¡¯t supposed to happen until tomorrow!¡±

    ¡°First rule of war,¡± the voice replied with a giggle. ¡°As soon as you start to clean your weapon, shower, or take a shit, that¡¯s when it goes down.¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± Tawnie replied. ¡°I¡¯m unlocking the door. <em>Without peeking</em>, hand me myptop.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Karashel doesn¡¯t make mistakes!¡± Caw screeched at the ambassador and Veeka¡¯s images on a holo-screen.

    ¡°Hate to break it to you,¡± Veeka replied, ¡°but your little friend just did.¡±

    ¡°No, she didn¡¯t,¡± Caw replied. ¡°I¡¯ve engaged in Xvakk¡¯Lok with her many times, and so have you, ambassador.¡±

    ¡°Xvakk¡¯Lok?¡± Veeka asked.

    ¡°A ¡®knowledge battle¡¯,¡± the ambassador said quietly, ¡°or ¡®debate,¡¯ if you will.¡±

    ¡°Ambassador,¡± Caw said, ¡°You¡¯ve had the pleasure of dueling Karashel. If this document was presented as an argument...¡±

    ¡°A Xvakk¡¯Mor!¡± the ambassador eximed. ¡°Sorry, Councilor. A Xvaak¡¯Mor is an intentionally wed argument that invites attack in order to draw your opponent into a vulnerable position.¡±

    ¡°And Karashel is the <em>master</em> of them,¡± Caw replied, ¡°This isn¡¯t a mistake. It¡¯s a <em>trap.</em> She <em>wants</em> them to seize control.¡±

    <em>¡± Why?¡±</em> Veeka asked in confusion.

    ¡°I have no idea,¡± Caw replied, ¡°I¡­.¡±

    His voice trailed off as he recalled thest time he and Karashel met. She was so quiet, subdued¡­

    <em>somber</em>¡­

    She made a point of telling him how much he meant to her and how she treasured their time together¡­

    <em>She was saying goodbye!</em>

    ¡°Ambassador!¡± Caw screeched, ¡°I have to get back there¡­ <em>NOW!!!</em> Order this ship recalled!!!¡±

    The ambassador just nodded.

    ¡°I¡¯ll try to get the Vulxeen and the rest of them to back off,¡± Veeka said, ¡°It probably won¡¯t work. You know how those assholes are when they smell blood.¡±

    ¡°So does Karashel,¡± Caw said gravely.

    ¡°What do you think is going on, Caw?¡± the ambassador asked. ¡°You look ill.¡±

    ¡°I think she¡¯s about to break her promise.¡±

 Chapter 170: The First Stag Falls

    Chapter 170: The First Stag Falls

    ¡°You don¡¯t understand!¡± Veeka eximed.

    ¡°Oh, I think I do,¡± the Vulxeen replied smugly, ¡°You want in. Why didn¡¯t you just say so?¡±

    ¡°No, I don¡¯t want <em>in</em>!¡± Veeka snapped, ¡°And neither should you. I¡¯m <em>telling</em> you, this is a bad idea.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± the Vulxeen sneered, ¡°Because we are effectively cornering food distribution for an entire sector¡­ and then some? Even you have to admit the Gvorta have been forgetting their ce.¡±

    <em>¡± Their ce?!?¡±</em> Veeka spluttered.

    ¡°They are bing insufferable,¡± the Vulxeen sneered, ¡°And now they will get a well deserved pruning, along with the rest of them.¡±

    He chuckled.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± he smirked, ¡°We won¡¯t be so bad that your delicate sensibilities will be overly offended.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care about the Gvorta,¡± Veeka replied, ¡°It¡¯s Karashel that I¡¯m concerned about. From what I¡¯ve learned, she isn¡¯t one to make a mistake. I¡¯m telling you, Mulk, this baleel is <em>dangerous</em>.¡±

    The Vulxeen snorted.

    ¡°A dangerous <em>Baleel?</em>¡± heughed, ¡°Come on, Veeka. At least make your con believable. You don¡¯t want us upending the crates. I get it. But this <em>is</em> going to happen. Everything is in ce, and you have two choices. You can either buy in, or you can get out of the way. Now, if you excuse me, I have a certain Baleel with delusions of equality to squash. Good day.¡±

    The Vulxeen pushed past Veeka and walked off.

    Veeka just shook her head.

    That was thest one of the ¡°investors¡± she could reach.

    It went <em>exactly</em> as she knew it would.

    But at least she tried.

    ***

    Not too far from where Veeka stood, heavy construction equipment pushed down sted ruins and crushed the rubble into gravel-sized nuggets, pouring them into a long line of heavy transports.

    The Federation had managed to keep the extent of the damage to Capital City out of the press, and now they had to make the whole thing ¡°go away¡± as quickly as possible.

    Gvvvak was all too happy to help.

    He was even happier to share a cup of coffee with the visitor in his portable office.

    ¡°I am so very happy to see you still among the living, Billi,¡± he grinned, his broad t green teeth showing.

    ¡°Not nearly as pleased as I am, Gvvvak,¡± Billi ¡°Fangs¡± Weston replied as she gestured with the thermos she brought.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Gvvvak eximed, ¡°More of the ck nectar of the gods!¡± he chortled as Billi filled his cup. ¡°First the Red Fangs and now the bombardment? This is the second time you have evaded death, no?¡±

    The old woman smiled, revealing the titanium incisors that were the source of her name.

    ¡°A bit more than twice, dude,¡± she smirked. ¡°The joke gets old after a while.¡±

    ¡°I guess what they say is true,¡± the broad-shouldered Okkvn chortled, ¡°The greater the evil, the longer it endures.¡±

    He extended his mug and Billi tapped it with hers, a simple gesture shared by their cultures.

    ¡°While I am truly delighted for a visit from a coffee bearing old friend,¡± Gvvvak smiled with those strange green teeth, ¡°I suspect this isn¡¯t a <em>very</em> hazardous social visit?¡±

    ¡°Not as dumb as you look,¡± Billi replied. ¡°You¡¯re moving a lot of rubble. I was wondering if you wouldn¡¯t mind moving just a little bit more.¡±

    Billi pulled out a mason jar filled with earth.

    ¡°Namely a shitload of this.¡±

    Gvvvak didn¡¯t have to pull out a scanner. He knew <em>exactly</em> what it was at a nce.

    ¡°Doing some digging?¡±

    ¡°Just a little,¡± Billi replied, ¡°We are going to have truckloads, and I mean <em>truckloads</em> of spoil we need to make disappear.¡±

    ¡°Rumor has it that a lot of trucks disappeared into Porkie Town,¡± Gvvvak grinned, ¡°And now one of the top Porkie contractors is asking about spoil? It wasn¡¯t guns or bombs in those trucks, was it? It was mining equipment!¡±

    ¡°Do you want to ask pointless questions,¡± Billi grinned, ¡°or do you want to talk money? I got my hands in the pockets of Jessica Morgan herself. Do you want a handful or not?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s talk dirt!¡± Gvvvak smiled

    ***

    ¡°Hi!¡± Karashel said brightly to everyone as she scooched into a private conference room in the Parliament building. ¡°We having a meeting?¡± she asked cheerfully.

    ¡°Yes, in a manner of speaking,¡± a Vulxeen sneered as the other members of her mittee¡± shifted ufortably. ¡°We are here to discuss the delivery schedule and to inform you of the price you will receive for your delivery.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°That¡¯s how it <em>used</em> to be done. This new market is going to actually be <em>free</em>, and the price will be determined by supply and demand!¡±

    ¡°Actually,¡± the Vulxeen chuckled darkly, ¡°It isn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Karashel asked in confusion, ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Karashel!¡± Longpaw wailed. ¡°I didn¡¯t have a choice!¡±

    ¡°Longpaw?¡±

    ¡°All of your little ¡®party¡¯ have sold their shares of your little¡­ whatever this is¡­ to <em>us</em>,¡± the Vulxeen smiled as his eyes gleamed viciously. ¡°Did you <em>actually</em> think we would allow this to happen?¡±

    ¡°But we all agreed...¡±

    ¡°And that agreement has changed.¡± the Vulxeen snickered as everyone in the roomughed except her friends. Longpaw covered his face and started shuddering as Rillrillrillrill red at him.

    ¡°<em>We</em> now have controlling interest in this little (heh) ¡®free trade market,¡¯ and <em>we</em> now call the shots! In fact, we would very much appreciate it if you would ept this offer for your shares, the only ones left.¡±

    ¡°What?...¡± Karashel wailed, ¡°N¡­ No!¡­ Never...¡±

    ¡°I think you will find the offer more than fair,¡± the Vulxeen smirked. ¡°In fact, it just so happens to be exactly what the next payment on your people¡¯s outstanding debts are¡­ provided that the appropriate agencies don¡¯t find out about your fraudulent statements...¡±

    Karashel shuddered.

    ¡°Y-you¡¯re <em>ckmailing me</em>?!?¡±

    ¡°Call it what you want,¡± the Vulxeen smirked as he handed her the tablet. ¡°Sign or the Treasury and Judicial departments get some very interesting emails.¡±

    Her tentacle shaking, Karashel pressed her sigil against the tablet, forever signing away her people¡¯s stake in the market that she created, dreamed of, and that she worked so hard to make a reality.

    ¡°Choke on it!¡± she bubbled through her slime as Longpaw ran from the room, huping.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± the Vulxeen smiled, ¡°The prices will be¡­(snicker) fair¡­ Your people won¡¯t starve¡­ and may even avoid management, provided you are a good little slug.¡±

    Karashel red at him.

    ¡°You are all excused,¡± the Vulxeen sneered, ¡°We have actual business to discuss. We will let you know what we decide.¡±

    ***

    Longpaw was huddled at the bottom of the stairs.

    Rillrillrillrill scuttled up and lightly bopped him on the head.

    ¡°Real smooth, giggles,¡± she rasped, her frills fluttering in amusement.

    ¡°Sorry guys,¡± he said, wiping tears from his eyes.

    He looked over at Karashel.

    ¡°So now what?¡±

    ¡°I think...¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°I think it¡¯s time for an early lunch.¡±

    ***

    In a rubble strewn section of the government sector, two shadows oozed along a wall.

    Slowly¡­ silently¡­ they peeled away from the wall and slid across the floor.

    Slimy, sticky tendrils set a long wooden box on the floor of the ruined upper story as another set started to pull out long paper tubes.

    They never moved quickly, but theypleted their work with a surprisingck of wasted time or effort.

    Once their work was done, they oozed off into the shadows, spraying a shimmering mist after them.

    Momentster, not even a trail of slime remained, just a taut natural fiber string running from the tubes, through some wooden pulleys, and down the stairwell.

    ***

    As she sat in Aspiration Park, Karashel¡¯s phone beeped once.

    She smiled.

    ¡°This is officially the point of no turning back,¡± she bubbled cheerfully, ¡°If you have any second thoughts, you can walk away right now. If you stay...¡±

    ¡°You picked your conspirators properly,¡± Longpaw replied as he poured himself a ss of wine. ¡°We are all in the same boat you are. Following the rules has ruined us, and continuing to do so will doom our people. As the humans say, ¡®Live free or die¡¯. If I act now, then the crimes are mine and mine alone or can be made to appear that way. If I dy or falter¡­ then it falls to my children.¡±

    Everyone at the table nodded.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± a wttl asked as they nervously approached.

    ¡°Yes¡­ brother?¡± Karashel replied. (hard to tell with those guys)

    ¡°Sister, actually,¡± the wttl giggled, ¡°¡­ I heard that I could get something to eat¡­ and that I didn¡¯t have to pay for it?¡±

    Karashel smiled and extended her tendrils, gesturing to the overflowing tables.

    ¡°We don¡¯t have much,¡± she smiled, ¡°but we <em>do</em> have food. Fill your te and your belly, for you are one of us.¡±

    The wttl gasped. These people <em>had</em> to be rich, and they said that she was one of them? <em>Her?</em>

    She giggled.

    ¡°Thank you!¡± she gushed, ¡°¡­ and you¡¯re sure it¡¯s free?¡±

    ¡°We put it there so we should know,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°And <em>for you</em>, it ispletely without cost. Enjoy.¡±

    The wttl giggled again and rushed over to the tables.

    There was just <em>so much</em>¡­ and all of it <em>fresh</em>!

    She didn¡¯t know what she wanted to try first!

    ***

    ¡°(sigh) Baleel transport XJ-27. Once again, you are cleared to approach,¡± an annoyed Gvorta said over the radio.

    The Balen captain smirked,

    ¡°And <em>once again</em>,¡± he replied, ¡°We seem to be having trouble with our hyperdrive. It doesn¡¯t seem to want to work right.¡±

    ¡°(grumble) What seems to be the trouble XJ-27?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± the captain grinned, ¡°I¡¯m just a Baleel, you know, the screen thingy says¡­ um¡­ stuff.¡±

    ¡°(long frustrated sigh) Do you require us to send a technician?¡±

    ¡°Oh no!¡± the captain simpered, ¡°We can¡¯t afford <em>that</em>! We¡¯ll just turn it off and on again some more. That usually works¡­ though it¡¯s taking longer and longer each time.¡±

    ¡°XJ-27,¡± the Gvorta sighed with a facepalm that was almost audible, ¡°That is an indication of an impending serious breakdown. I <em>strongly</em> rmend that you request a technician.¡±

    ¡°Captain,¡± a Bale said, carrying a tablet.

    She showed it to him

    ¡°Finally,¡± he grinned as he keyed the radio.

    ¡°Oh goody!¡± he said in a simple voice, ¡°It looks like the hyperthingy is back working. Jumping now!¡±

    The Captain released the radio and looked over at his navigator.

    ¡°Course set?¡±

    ¡°You know it.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s bounce.¡±

    ¡°Engaging hyperdrive,¡± the navigator grinned.

    ¡°Finally!¡± the Gvorta replied, ¡°¡­ XJ-27?¡­ Hello?...¡±

    ***

    Veeka once again made the harrowing journey to Aspiration Park.

    The crowds were evenrger this time.

    And once again, holding court among the ¡°proletariat¡± (she now knew what it meant) was Karashel and hermittee¡­

    ..ughing, drinking wine, and in overall good cheer.

    They certainly didn¡¯t look ¡°squashed¡±.

    She felt ¡°eyes¡± on her and saw a wttl ring at her. It immediately sprinted straight to themittee, pointing and shouting.

    The gigantic Yuiiughed and reassured the angry wttl and then waved.

    ¡°Councilor!¡± he called out with a loud, confident, booming voice. ¡°Join us!¡±

    Taken aback, Veeka made her way to theughing, happy group.

    ¡°Can you consume alcohol?¡± he asked cheerfully, producing a huge bottle. ¡°This is from my vineyard!¡±

    ¡°I can, thank you,¡± Veeka said as a generous portion was poured into a stic cup. She scanned it and then took a sip.

    ¡°This is <em>good!</em>¡± she eximed.

    ¡°You needn¡¯t sound so surprised,¡± Councilor Maypawk guffawed. ¡°I also have a sparkling non-alcoholic version for poor unfortunates like Karashel and Rillrillrillrill over there.¡±

    The wine was both delicious and quite potent by most species¡¯ standards.

    <em>This stuff would get a human drunk,</em> Veeka thought to herself as she took another sip.

    <em>Maybe they are drinking away their sorrows,</em> she thought hopefully though she knew otherwise.

    She knew a victory party when she saw one.

    ¡°Grab a te and have a seat!¡± Longpaw smiled as he sipped his tiny ss. ¡°Might not be what you are used to, but it¡¯s good grub!¡±

    Confused by this sudden change of tone, Veeka epted a te and walked the buffet, selecting some surprisingly tempting morsels.

    This was NOT a soup kitchen by any means.

    ¡°That¡¯s a beek,¡± Longpaw said as Veeka nibbled a round, brightly colored vegetable. ¡°They are from my homeworld!¡± he added proudly.

    ¡°It¡¯s delicious,¡± Veeka replied truthfully.

    ¡°I know, right?¡± Longpaw smiled. ¡°Picked those from the greenhouse this morning!¡±

    ¡°So what brings you out into sniper town,¡± Karashel asked cheerfully.

    ¡°I heard what happened,¡± Veeka said sympathetically as she watched them closely.

    ¡°Yeah, that kind of sucked,¡± Longpaw replied, taking another sip.

    ¡°It was a nice dream,¡± Laek~Vet muttered quietly as he turned up his cup, ¡°Oh well.¡±

    ¡°I must say,¡± Veeka ventured, fishing for any reaction, ¡°you are all taking it well. In your position¡ª¡°

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t be in our position,¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed with amusement. ¡°You are incapable of evenprehending it.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°we got screwed, just like we <em>always</em> get screwed. It¡¯s how the system works. No matter how hard we try or how cleverly we n, you bigger, stronger races alwayse out on top, and of course you do. You are the ones who wrote the rules before you ever invaded us¡­ sorry¡­ ¡®invited¡¯ us¡­ But¡­ at least we <em>tried</em>, you know.¡±

    ¡°To our new overlords,¡± Maypawk growled as he raised his ss, ¡°May they be slightly less bad as thest ones.¡±

    Laughing, everyone except Veeka joined the toast.

    ¡°And they are,¡± Karashel added, ¡°As it turns out, we will all wind up <em>slightly</em> better off under the investors. Not by a lot, mind you, but my calctor says that it¡¯s a positive.¡±

    ¡°Same here!¡± Longpaw squeaked. ¡°¡­ and that forced buyout was a nice little payday¡­ thus the party.¡±

    <em>That¡¯s right, they would have had to buy them out¡­ even at a fraction of what those shares were worth, it would still be a significant sum...</em>

    Veeka looked at their smiling faces. How much money were they just ¡°forced¡± to take¡­ and how much of it went <em>directly</em> into these people¡¯s pockets?

    ¡°Yeah, we got fucked,¡± Laek~Vet replied, ¡°but the sun is shining, the wine is good, and there is food to share. If we cried every time we suffered at your hands, we would die of dehydration.¡±

    <em>At our hands...</em> Veeka realized that she was included in that number.

    A short beep issued from Karashel¡¯s phone.

    The table fell silent as Karashel read the message¡­ On a <em>very</em> slick lookingmunicator, a model unknown to Veeka.

    Karashel just smiled and nodded, and the table chuckled in a way that made it feel like winter started early.

    ¡°As my friend just said,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°The sun is shining, the juice is good, and we have food to share. Unlike many in that building over there,¡± she added, ¡°we know how fortunate we really are.¡±

    Karashel nodded towards the park.

    ¡°Do you see that wttl in the white jumpsuit, Veeka?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Do you know what happened not fifteen minutes ago?¡± Karashel asked, ¡°That wttl burst into tears when she realized that she was <em>allowed</em> to have <em>one</em> decent meal¡­ Tears, Veeka¡­ Because she could <em>eat</em>...¡± Karashel said, anger edging into her voice. ¡°We might be ¡®lowlies¡¯¡­ <em>nothing</em> in your eyes, but Maypawk has a <em>vineyard</em>¡­ Longpaw? He owns a mountain, not a mountain cabin, a fucking <em>mountain!¡±</em>

    ¡°Been in the family for ages,¡± Longpaw said half-apologetically, ¡°We used to be knights.¡±

    ¡°Creators,¡± Karashel smirked, ¡°I¡¯m the ¡®poor girl¡¯ of the group. My family just owns an incredibly sessful nt nursery (which is kind of a big deal where I¡¯m from). None of us sitting here are suffering¡­ <em>Those people</em>...¡± Karashel said with a dark tone that made Veeka shiver.

    ¡°They have <em>nothing</em>¡­ not even hope¡­ They literally weep when informed that they can take the leftovers home to their <em>children</em>...¡±

    She turned to look directly at Veeka.

    ¡°And youe here, walking right <em>over</em> them because you are concerned about a <em>table of fucking millionaires</em> and how <em>we are feeling?</em>¡­ <em>How dare you?</em>¡­ You want to be ¡®concerned¡¯? Go and ask that young Vorok over there in the threadbare jumpsuit about <em>his</em> day. Go ahead. Find out his story and thene back here and act all surprised that we can still feel as fortunate <em>as we actually are</em>¡­ You know, you think you are so much better than our ¡®investors¡¯ when the only difference is that you just suck a little bit less. At least <em>they</em> are honest about what they are... Go to hell, Veeka.¡±

    Veeka just sat there, stunned, as the table all looked at her like she was something one of them stepped in.

    Then, Rillrillrillrill booped Karashel on the head.

    ¡°Way to ruin the mood, <emrade</em>,¡± sheughed, ¡°You are such a delight at parties, you know that?¡±

    Everyone chuckled, and the mood shifted to cheerful once more.

    ¡°Um¡­ thank you for the delightful meal...¡± Veeka replied as she started to get up.

    ¡°You are actually going to abandon a te of food that you took from these people?¡± Karashel asked politely. ¡°You really are one of <em>them</em>, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    Veeka sat down and meekly resumed her meal¡­

    ***

    Veeka was mostly silent the rest of the day.

    Lunch¡­ <em>Creators</em>¡­ And <em>Karashel</em>¡­ <em>Void take all!</em>¡­

    Now she knew why Caw had the ship turn around.

    Karashelpletely <em>owned</em> both her and the situation¡­

    She couldn¡¯t even think! It was like¡­ like¡­

    <em>She was suffocating...</em>

    Each forkful of that ¡°stolen¡± food threatened to strangle her¡­

    It was <em>horrifying</em>¡­

    <em>And Karashel</em>¡­.

    She shuddered.

    Suddenly there was amotion outside her office.

    She poked her head out into the hall, and her jaw dropped as uniformed Federation agents were hauling the screaming Vulxeen councilor down the hall¡­

    ...followed shortly by all of the investors!

    ¡°Do you know who I am?¡± the Vulxeen councilor screamed in rage as he was brought before a rather annoyed looking Xvli in a in grey suit.

    ¡°As a matter of fact,¡± the Xvli replied, ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°You are hereby detained for questioning involving treason and aiding and abetting an enemy of the Federation during an armed conflict.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    The Xvli grabbed the Vulxeen by the throat and mmed him against the wall.

    ¡°One thing!¡± he snarled, his yellow fangs inches away from the Vulxeen councilor¡¯s face. ¡°There was <em>one thing</em> that <em>might</em> have stopped the humans, and you just sold them <em>millions of tons of it</em>, you traitorous <em>fuck!¡±</em>

    ¡°Senior agent,¡± another in clothed agent said urgently, cautiously putting their hand on his shoulder. (Touching an enraged Xvli isn¡¯t a good idea.)

    ¡°I¡¯ll have your job for¡ª¡°

    The Vulxeen fell silent as a long sharp metal shod w slid out of the Xvli¡¯s paw just under his chin.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to enjoy squeezing you, little piggy,¡± the Xvli snarled. ¡°Take them to the transports! I want air support the whole way to headquarters. Scan everything! If you see anything, even amunicator battery¡­ <em>Especially amunicator battery</em>¡­ fry it!¡±

    Veeka ran over to the Vulxeen offices and was halted by another in clothed agent.

    ¡°Sorry, ma¡¯am,¡± she said firmly, ¡°You can¡¯t go in there.¡±

    Looking about frantically, she saw some of the office staff huddling nearby.

    ¡°What happened?!?¡± she asked one of the long term employees.

    ¡°They¡­ they say that the councilor¡­ and the others¡­ <em>helped</em> the <em>Forsaken</em>¡­ sold them enough food to feed them for <em>years</em>¡­ said that¡¯s the real reason they took over some market or something?¡±

    ¡°What sort of market has that much food in it?¡± another office worker asked inplete confusion.

    <em>Karashel</em>¡­

    Veeka just stood there in shock. It was obvious. It was all a setup. She needed the Vulxeen and the others to push through the contract terminations and then let them take over just in time to take the fall for <em>treason</em>, effectively destroying the very market andpany that they just bought out for no telling how much money.

    The Vulxeen government was in disarray, as well as the Kraxitan¡¯s, multiple high ranking individuals in government and the private sector were now being loaded into transports, and Karashel and her buddies were sipping wine and nibbling fruit across the street millions of credits richer. <em>While fueling the single biggest threat to the Federation in centuries...</em>

    <em>...table full of millionaires</em>¡­ she said it herself¡­

    But the truth woulde out, right? Whoever would be interrogating the investors would eventually realize that they were innocent, right?

    Suddenly there were multiple loud explosions in the distance¡­

    Veeka¡¯s blood ran cold.

    Karashel had known that too, it seems.

    ***

    ¡°He¡¯s awake.¡± a Xvli doctor said impassively. ¡°Told you he was tough.¡±

    ¡°Darling!¡± a stylish Xvli with intricately tattooed and pierced ears cried as she draped herself over a mass of bandages and tubes on a hospital bed.

    ¡°ow...¡± the bundle mumbled¡­ ¡°love you too...¡±

    ¡°I was so stupid!¡± the female Xvli squealed. ¡°I <em>will</em> marry you! Status be damned! Family be damned! Career be damned!¡± she shouted as she started pulling jeweled studs and loops out of her ears and throwing them across the room. ¡°I love you with all my heart, and I <em>will</em> marry you!¡±

    ¡°???¡± the mass of bandages never recalled asking.

    It weakly shrugged. It seemed that it was getting married. (Like it was ever going to do better, and it knew it.)

    ¡°Damn, [emailprotected]@,¡± Gvx-Taa, the head of Federation Intelligence, buzzed as he entered the hospital room. ¡°You look like a gift wrapped turd.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you, sir,¡± the bundle of bandages mumbled.

    A ttering and skittering of metal legs heralded the arrival of Jaxona, who scuttled in immediately afterward with a spittoon on her back and clutching a gift basket filled with Xvli goodies and a brightly colored balloon emzoned with ¡°Hope You¡¯re Having a st!¡± on it.

    ¡°Ohmigosh!¡± Jaxona eximed, ¡°Does it hurt much?¡±

    ¡°Only when I exist...¡± the bundle mumbled.

    ¡°I can take care of that,¡± the doctor smiled as he tapped on his tablet.

    ¡°not yet...¡± the bandages muttered, ¡°what the FUCK happened?¡±

    ¡°We are still trying to figure it out,¡± Gvx-Taa replied. ¡°It looks like abination of rockets and some sort of ¡®chaff¡¯ which interfered with point defense. Fortunately for you, they were all locked onto the prisoners. Unfortunately for us, it worked. Looks like Jessica got them all. I¡¯m just d she didn¡¯t get you too.¡±

    ¡°not forck of trying...¡± the bandage mummy grumbled. ¡°What else do we have?¡±

    ¡°We have intercepted transmissions, cash transfers, and have recovered data crystals loaded with credits hidden in many of their residences. The guys over at the Treasury Department can¡¯t always track credits, BUT they do have a database of data crystal serial numbers¡­ guess who was thest owner of those particr ones?¡±

    ¡°Which gang?¡±

    ¡°Morgan Industries, that gang,¡± Gvx-Taa snorted. ¡°Looks like everyone has their price after all. It wasn¡¯t just money, though. They also received assurances that their transports would be left alone and theirpetitors would run into extra trouble. Themunications were encrypted and ¡®secure-deleted¡¯ of course, but The Spider was still able to lift them.¡±

    ¡°...if they weren¡¯t dead...¡± the bundle of bandages with a tattered ear hanging out hissed weakly, ¡°I¡¯d kill them myself.¡±

    ¡°And, of course, once they were busted, Jessica punched their ticket like she always does.¡±

    ¡°Probably going to happen anyway,¡± the bundle muttered, ¡°That one shipment will be enough for the duration¡­ Any Vulxeen who deals with a Porkie is an idiot. Who do you think made the hit?¡±

    Jaxona and Gvx-Taa looked at each other meaningfully.

    ¡°We can talk about thatter,¡± Gvx-Taa snarled, spitting into the spittoon on the back of Jaxona¡¯s bot. ¡°You focus on healing.¡±

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± the bundle of bandages groaned, its ear twitching limply, ¡°You <em>can¡¯t</em> be serious...¡±

    ***

    Late into the night, the Federation Judiciary Processor (Capital) was churning away. Of course, it wasn¡¯t happily churning away because it couldn¡¯t be happy, but if you attached an emotional simtor to the program, it would be humming pleasantly.

    Oh, some new stuff entered the queue!

    It has been clearly established that the AI was incapable of emotion, annoyance, or spite, but these new entries were put immediately at the top of the queue.

    *** Contract Termination: Bright Tomorrows Free Trade Commodity Market Corp ¨C Baleel Reason: Inability to pay Cause: Asset Seizure and Dissolution of Board of Directors¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    *** Contract Termination: Bright Tomorrows Free Trade Commodity Market Corp ¨C Loo Reason: Inability to pay Cause: Asset Seizure and Dissolution of Board of Directors¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­ processed ***

    *** Contract Termination: Bright Tomorrows Free Trade Commodity Market Corp ¨C Yuii Reason: Inability to pay Cause: Asset Seizure and Dissolution of Board of Directors¡­ review¡­ eptable¡­

 Chapter 171: Karashel Ensares Another One

    Chapter 171: Karashel Ensares Another One

    Councilor Uma nervously stalked through the halls of Parliament, trying very hard not to be seen. For once, she was thankful for her tiny size.

    Hiding in arge decorative nt, she looked about for the one person that might help.

    They had always gotten along, right? I mean, there were some unfortunateplications, but she <em>had</em> to understand¡­ Right?

    It was just how the game was yed¡­ she <em>had</em> to understand that¡­

    Right?¡­

    ¡°Councilor Uma?¡± a pleasant voice asked cheerfully.

    Uma jerked, causing the nt to shake. Turning around, she saw a single moist eye attached to an eyestalk crinkling in a friendly manner as it poked through the leaves.

    It was Karashel, the person she was looking for, but how did she know she was there, and, far more importantly, how did she sneak up on <em>her,</em> a species known for its wariness and stealth? Granted, it had been a while since she had hunted in the canopies of her lush homeworld but still¡­

    She hadn¡¯t even heard her approach!

    ¡°Hrm¡­ Hello Councilor Karashel...¡± Uma stammered, quite off guard.

    ¡°Watcha doin¡¯ in there?¡± Karashel said in a friendly but very quiet voice.

    ¡°Hrm¡­ Yes¡­ Councilor Karashel,¡± Uma said, trying to sound like she hadn¡¯t been caught mid-air. ¡°I was wondering if you had a moment to talk.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°I always have time for <em>former</em> trade partners.¡±

    ¡°Hrm¡­ Yes¡­ About that,¡± Uma stammered, twisting her red tail with her rear foot-hands. ¡°I was wondering if we could reinstate our previous agreement?¡±

    ¡°Afraid not, Councilor,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°You probably haven¡¯t heard yet, but another group of investors, inspired by recent events, are setting up <em>another</em> market, presumably a treason-free one. We are considering selling our goods through them. They should be issuing a public statementter this month, next month at thetest... Or did they say next quarter? I can¡¯t remember. You know, my tiny Baleelean brain can never keep track of stuff like that.¡±

    Uma squeaked. Her system had only a week before the shelves started going empty.

    ¡°The others¡­¡± Uma squeaked nervously, ¡°They are¡ª¡°

    ¡°nning on threatening us?¡± Karashel smiled pleasantly, ¡°Or will they just press awsuit right away?¡±

    Uma¡¯s eyes widened.

    ¡°Oh,e now, Uma,¡± Karashel whispered as she stretched her voice tube towards her in a most disturbing manner. ¡°You honestly didn¡¯t think we weren¡¯t expecting that? I do so hope it will be thewsuit. Do you know what <em>will</em> happen if they do that? We will suspend all trade while thewsuit progresses¡­ <em>very slowly</em>. They won¡¯t get a <em>gram</em> from us. Not only that, but they will find it <em>very</em> difficult to enter into a new agreement with anyone else¡­ I can <em>personally</em> guarantee it.¡±

    Karashel¡¯s eye gleamed maliciously.

    ¡°Oh, and any threat of management or ckmail concerning the same will fall very, very t. Do please keep that to yourself. I don¡¯t want to spoil the surprise.¡±

    ¡°Hrm¡­ Yes¡­ well¡­¡± Uma stammered as she twisted her tail, ¡°I was wondering¡­ hoping really¡­ If maybe?¡±

    ¡°If we could ¡®work something out¡¯ independent of the Gvorta and the other species you have been in bed with for decades?¡±

    ¡°¡­ Hrm¡­ well¡­ It¡¯s not that I¡­ I mean...¡±

    ¡°If that is your intent,¡± Karashel whispered with a bubbly purr, ¡°you will notice that my generously sized handbag is open.¡±

    Uma silently crawled inside and pulled the p closed.

    ***

    ¡°Ooh La La¡­ Ahh Oui Oui¡± a pair of Baleel sang as they wandered the dark grimy sub-levels of a station that most people didn¡¯t even know existed.

    ¡°The floor tastes funny!¡± one of them eximed.

    ¡°I like it!¡± the other replied. ¡°It reminds me of a swamp!¡±

    ¡°I like swamps!¡± the first one eximed.

    ¡°Me too!¡± hispanion bubbled happily.

    Ahead of them, a grim-faced human smiled despite himself. Those evil bastards were just too funny.

    Two Z¡¯uush brought up the rear, one of them carrying the weapon with which they were fast making a name for themselves, a sonic jackhammer. The sight of it alone was usually enough to discourage all but the most serious sorts of trouble.

    However, aside from the two locals who had been tailing them ever since they entered the level, most people either ignored them or returned the happy waves of the Baleel with amused confusion.

    After meandering through the level for a while (and stopping at a rather suspicious looking local market for yet another snack), they stopped in front of a closed hatch.

    One of the Baleel stretched out a tendril and pressed a button mounted beside the hatch.

    Immediately a bright floodlight switched on, causing the Baleel to retract their eyestalks.

    ¡°Go away!¡± a gruff human voice shouted.

    ¡°Doctor Pavi?¡± One of the Baleel asked cheerfully.

    ¡°Nobody here by that name! Go away before I set the bots on ya!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯vee a <em>very</em> long way to talk to you, Mr. Pavi,¡± one of the Baleel bubble-chirped.

    ¡°A very long way!¡± the other agreed, ¡°You were not easy to find.¡±

    ¡°Then you came a long way for nothing!¡± the gruff voice shouted. ¡°Doctor Pavi is <em>dead!¡±</em>

    ¡°Can we please talk to his ghost then?¡±

    The sound of a shotgun being pumped was the only reply.

    ¡°Doctor Pavi,¡± one of the Baleel smiled. ¡°I¡¯m going to write a number on my tablet and hold it up to the camera.¡±

    The Baleel then fiddled with their tablet clumsily and cheerfully presented it.

    ¡°...¡±

    The door unlocked.

    ***

    <em>¡± You!¡±</em> Veeka hissed as Karashel entered the lobby of the Balen office.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Councilor,¡± the Balen receptionist said nervously, ¡°I told her that you weren¡¯t receiving appointments, but she just wouldn¡¯t leave.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t think that I don¡¯t know what you did?!?¡± Veeka demanded angrily as she marched up to Karashel.

    ¡°... Don¡¯t think that I don¡¯t know?¡± Karashel mused. ¡°I guess that¡¯s grammatically correct.¡±

    ¡°I know what you did!¡± Veeka hissed, ¡°¡­ what you <em>all</em> did!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain I don¡¯t know what you are talking about,¡± Karashel smiled.

    ¡°Let me spell it out for you,¡± Veeka shouted,¡±<em> treason...murder</em>¡­ Sound familiar?¡±

    ¡°I am familiar with the terms,¡± Karashel replied cheerfully.

    ¡°It was you and your...<emmunalists</em> that were behind supplying the Forsaken! Not those ¡®investors¡¯ that so <em>conveniently</em> died on the way to their interrogations!¡­ And you can drop the munalist¡¯ nonsense. I know what you and your mittee¡¯ <em>really</em> are¡­ <emmunists</em>!¡±

    ¡°I see you have been talking to Caw,¡± Karashel chuckled.

    ¡°I have!¡± Veeka squeaked angrily, ¡°And he¡¯s on his way back to put a stop to this¡­ and <em>you!¡±</em>

    ¡°My dear Councilor,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°That is a <em>very</em> engaging narrative¡­ But, maybe it¡¯s our backwards nature, but we Baleel have this thing we like to call ¡®proof¡¯. Do you have any?¡±

    Veeka spluttered.

    ¡°I thought so,¡± Karashel said pleasantly, ¡°Now I am certain that the appropriate people are investigating this, and there is <em>no way</em> that a simple stupid Baleel could <em>possibly</em> hope to outsmart all of the super duper smart species over at Intelligence, or the Judiciary, or whoever handles these sorts of things. I mean, the very <em>thought</em> isughable.¡±

    ¡°No, but <em>Jessica Morgan</em> could!¡±

    ¡°Oh dear,¡± Karashel sighed, ¡°Councilor Veeka, I must warn you that I take my personal and professional reputation very seriously¡­ and now have the capacity to be <em>very</em> litigious. If you insist on spreading these sorts of reckless usations, I will have no alternative other than to file the appropriatewsuits¡­ where the ¡®truth¡¯ wille out.¡±

    Karashel undted towards Veeka causing her to back away.

    ¡°And that <em>truth</em> is that several corrupt individuals representing corrupt species did what corrupt <em>species</em> do and that is betray the core concepts and people of the Federation, just like they have been doing for <em>centuries</em>,¡± Karashel said with an ooze-covered edge to her voice.¡± <em>That</em> is what the investigation <em>will</em> reveal. Anything else is wild usations by just another species fat from the exploitation of the masses and will be clearly demonstrated to be so. If you want to damage your credibility and bank ount insisting on this self serving garbage feel free to do so but you <em>will suffer for it.¡±</em>

    ¡°And just what do you mean by that?¡±

    Karashel¡¯s eyes shone wickedly through the mucus.

    ¡°I¡¯ve said all I will concerning this matter, Veeka,¡± she replied, ¡°Now, I would love to humor your histrionics all day, but I actually have real business with which I must attend. Good day, Councilor.¡±

    Karashel started to undte towards her office.

    ¡°Caw will stop you!¡± Veeka shouted.

    ¡°That would be incorrect,¡± Karashel said without looking back, ¡°He will <em>try</em> to stop me.¡±

    Karashel entered her office and shut the door, leaving Veeka shaking with impotent rage.

    Karashel was right.

    She had nothing, only the sick feeling that this was just the beginning.

    ***

    ¡°This is madness!¡± Captain Kraak-To squawked as he waved a tablet about in the air. ¡°We have to stop this immediately!¡±

    ¡°And just how do you intend upon doing that?¡± Admiral Vii replied with annoyance, her skin turning plum colored. ¡°I¡¯m open to suggestions.¡±

    ¡°We need to shut down all traffic right now!¡± Captain Kraak-To shouted, jumping up and down and pping his arms. ¡°Issue an emergency order!¡±

    ¡°Which will be overridden immediately by the council,¡± Admiral Vii replied grimly.

    ¡°What about the Emergency Council?¡± Kraak-To implored, ¡°Can¡¯t we have them issue a statement dying payment?¡±

    ¡°They already tried that,¡± the admiral sighed, her skin turning yellow, ¡°Some agitators were able to twist the rules and use it to break over a hundred contracts already. Turns out <em>unable to pay</em> is still <em>unable to pay</em>. Of course, it didn¡¯t hurt that some <em>fucking traitors</em> pushed a lot of it through the system, but it is ¡®valid,¡¯ and precedent is precedent.¡±

    ¡°This is insane!¡± Captain Kraak-To screeched, ¡°Do you have <em>any</em> idea what¡¯s about to happen? Do you have <em>any</em> idea how many ships the Confederacy of Sol actually have?!? It¡¯s going to be a bloodbath! It all makes sense now! <em>This</em> is why they are attacking thework! <em>Oh, creators¡­</em> This is the real reason behind the whole ¡®free market¡¯ scam. They were forcing <em>this!¡±</em>

    Admiral Vii just sighed and ced her head in her hands.

    ¡°We are just going to have to do the best we can,¡± she sighed as her skin darkened, ¡°Unless the Council is willing to say that all contracts will be honored regardless of the ability to pay and without penalty, we are going to have thousands of courier ships physically transferring payments.¡±

    The admiral looked at the captain gravely.

    ¡°To do that is basically announcing that the Federation is no longer a functioning entity. Politics aside, Captain, if payments stop, what¡¯s left of the stock market willpletely implode. Without revenue, payroll stops. Without payroll, production stops. Without production¡­ What do you think will happen once the food, fuel, medicine, and all the rest stop flowing to <em>hundreds</em> of systems, Captain, <em>hundreds</em>? You¡¯re an expert on the <em>humans,</em> Captain. <em>You</em> tell me what will happen next except it won¡¯t be just one sr system this time. It will be the <em>entire Federation!¡±</em>

    Kraak-To threw his head back, screaming a curse in his native tongue.

    ¡°Well put,¡± the admiral smirked. ¡°We are definitely ykvaark¡¯ed. I¡¯ve mobilized the entire fleet and sent emergency orders to every SDF in the Federation. All we can do is try to protect everyone that we can.¡±

    ***

    The <em>Artful Hoarder</em> dropped out of hyperspace, its crew all eyes and whiskers as they entered normal space.

    ¡°How long before we can jump again?¡± The captain squeaked, not bothering to hide his nerves.

    ¡°I¡¯ve pushed the drives as hard as I dare. It will be an hour before they cool off,¡± the navigator replied, ¡°then another fifteen minutes to charge them. I will have the next jump ready well before then.¡±

    ¡°Set general quarters,¡± the captain squeaked as he put on a bright red helmet, ¡°Have everyone don vacuum gear.¡±

    ¡°Yes, captain!¡±

    ¡°Captain!¡± the sensor operator screeched, ¡°Hyperspace event! It¡¯s big! Five hundred meters aft!¡±

    The captain tried to keep calm, but there was NO WAY anything would jump in that close unless¡­

    ¡°We¡¯re being hailed!¡±

    ¡°Put them on main,¡± the captain squeaked as he rose and pulled a ster carbine from its improvised mount beside his chair.

    ¡°Heeeeeeeeeyyyyy!¡± a golden-haired human crowed, confirming the captain¡¯s worst fear.

    She was young, barely an adult if he guessed right, but she was sitting inmand, her armor open and wearing only a cloth undergarment underneath that covered the mounds that signified that she was female.

    Barbarically carved into her exposed abdomen was one of the marks that every captain in the Federation feared, the mark of The ck Angels.

    ¡°Know what this is?¡± the golden haired human inquired as she bared her teeth.

    <em>Oh, Gods¡­ her eyes¡­ What is wrong with her eyes?!?</em>

    ¡°I (squeak)¡­ I do...¡± The captain replied, his voice breaking.

    ¡°So you know what we do,¡± the golden human said as she idly yed with a knife. ¡°Annnnnd¡­ That¡¯s what I¡¯m <em>supposed</em> to do...¡±

    The golden haired fiend smiled.

    ¡°Buuuuut¡­ I¡¯m really not feeling it today, y¡¯know¡­ Tell you what. We know you are packing credits, and we know <em>exactly</em> how many. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.¡±

    The image zoomed in on her face, giving the bridge a good look at her eyes.

    ¡°The easy way is that you bring those credits to your starboard airlock and hand them over, easy peasy...¡±

    The image zoomed back out revealing the human was now holding both a knife <em>and a fork</em>.

    ¡°Now the hard way...¡± she said twirling the fork, ¡°You don¡¯t want the hard way¡­ You <em>really</em> don¡¯t.¡±

    The golden haired monster smiled sweetly at the captain.

    ¡°So, my little honey zed guinea pig,¡± she crooned, ¡°Which will it be?¡±

    The captain bowed his head and started to let out little weepy squeaks.

    May his people forgive him.

    ***

    Karashel undted into her office and set her handbag on the chair opposite her desk.

    ¡°You cane out now, Una.¡±

    The p of the bag was opened with Una¡¯s upper arm as her head poked out, her three eyes wide with horror.

    ¡°Now you just overheard something,¡± Karashel smiled as she scooched up on her stool-chair. ¡°Do you have any questions or concerns I can address?¡±

    ¡°N-no...¡± Una stammered as she climbed up the back of the chair and perched on the top. ¡°I don¡¯t care about any of that¡­ I¡­ I just want the shipments to resume.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m sure we cane to an arrangement,¡± Karashel smiled pleasantly, ¡°Of the four Federation members that we have export arrangements with, you are, by far, the least objectionable. Now I know our agreement with you is pretty much identical to the others, thanks to your Gvortan masters, but as far as your <em>species</em>, your values, and the way you treat your people and those you deal with is concerned, you aren¡¯t all that bad.¡±

    ¡°We¡­ we¡¯ve just done what we had to do...¡± Una stammered feeling like she was on trial. No, she wasn¡¯t on trial. The trial wasplete. She was just being handed the sentence. ¡°You know how it is¡­ we <em>had</em> to...¡±

    ¡°Because of the agreements you had with the Gvorta and others, you had to make up for it somehow, and we were the new kids on the block, just like you were before¡­ Correct?¡±

    ¡°I mean¡­ we didn¡¯t <em>want</em> to¡­ The whole thing is a mess and...¡± Una said helplessly.

    ¡°And the cycle of colonialism and exploitation continues with each ¡®generation¡¯ suffering more than the one before,¡± Karashel said cheerfully as she slid in a neural jack.

    /// User: Hyperspacemunication link requested Baleel State Department /// appeared in Karashel¡¯s mind¡¯s eye.

    /// Hyperspatial link to Baleel State Department established ///

    /// User: Request hard line connection to Alt 17G ///

    /// Connection established initiating secondary hyperspatial link ///

    /// Alt 17G: Comrade! ///

    /// User: Hello Analytica. I have Councilor Una on camera. I would like bodynguage analysis especially lie detection. Can you handle that? ///

    /// Alt 17G: Of course,rade! Oh, thetest from inside confirms our worst fears. It looks like those traitors that took over your market were indeed behind the shipment to those loathsome Forsaken monsters! ///

    /// User: How terrible! I am feeling all sorts of betrayed over here. Let me know if anything changes. ///

    /// Alt 17G: Will do,rade! Bodynguage analysis active! ///

    /// User: Thanks! ///

    Una looked at Karashel curiously as her eyes seemed to ze momentarily.

    ¡°Councilor Karashel?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Karashel asked as she blinked. ¡°Sorry about that, just checking some email.¡±

    Una tried not to shudder. Neural links were more than a little unsavory to her people. The only ones who used them were ¡°wireheads¡± who used them for¡­ improper things.

    ¡°So, Una,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°I would like you to bepletely honest. What do you <em>really</em> feel about the Federation?¡±

    ¡°Hrm¡­ I believe in the founding principles of the Federation and its stated goals. (evasive true)¡±

    ¡°A very political answer,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Another question: Veeka just made some <em>very</em> concerning allegations. What do you feel about them?¡±

    ¡°Am I being analyzed?!? (rm concern fear)¡± Una eximed in rm.

    ¡°Do you want your food?¡± Karashel asked.

    ¡°...yes¡­ (true)¡±

    ¡°Then don¡¯t worry about it and answer the question.¡±

    ¡°I think those were some very serious usations. (evasive true)¡±

    ¡°They were,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°But¡­ <em>hypothetically</em>¡­ what if I did?¡±

    ¡°Then that would be treason, (evasive true) and you would be guilty of that and murder. (evasive true)¡­ And you should be tried, convicted, and sentenced for your crimes (lie).¡±

    ¡°So aiding the Forsaken would be wrong, then?¡±

    ¡°Of course! (lie) While they have been wronged (true). What they have done¡­ (horror)¡­ Nothing justifies what they did (lie)! And what they did to the Vulxeen, (schadenfreude) even they didn¡¯t deserve <em>that</em> (schadenfreude, lie)!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you agree,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°Of course it was. I just wanted to ensure you didn¡¯t buy into Councilor Veeka¡¯s nonsense.¡±

    ¡°Of course I don¡¯t (unsure). Look, I don¡¯t care about any of that (emphatic true). I am just concerned about my people (emotional true). You can feed whoever you want as long as we get our shipments restored (true). It¡¯s none of my business (true, admiration, fear).¡±

    Karashel nodded.

    ¡°I can certainly resolve this little matter,¡± Karashel smiled.

    (apprehensive relief)

    ¡°In fact, I¡¯ve already been authorized to extend a trade agreement to you.¡±

    (anxiety)

    ¡°What terms? (dubious)¡± Una asked dubiously.

    ¡°Oh, nothing that you will lose sleep over,¡± Karashel said smoothly, ¡°As I said, I consider you one of the ¡®good ones¡¯. But before we get to that, I do have a few more questions, if you don¡¯t mind.¡±

    ¡°(anxiety) What are you ying at, Karashel? (suspicion)¡± Una asked, exposing a tiny little sharp tooth, ¡°I don¡¯t like games being yed with my people (anger, fear, vulnerability).¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing like that,¡± Karashel replied, sliding a tablet over to Una. ¡°Here, this is a preview of the <em>worst</em> deal you will get from us.¡±

    Una took the tablet.

    (apprehension¡­ surprise¡­ suspicion¡­ surprise¡­ suspicion¡­ relief¡­ relief¡­ suspicion)

    ¡°This¡­ this is...¡± Una said carefully, ¡°This is quite reasonable.¡±

    ¡°See?¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°However, before I hand you the official draft, which I <em>guarantee</em> will be the same as that one, will you <em>now</em> humor me with a little discussion?¡±

    ¡°O-okay? (confusion, suspicion)

    ¡°Ever hear of the ¡®Shadows?¡¯¡±

    (rm!)

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry?¡±

    ¡°I think their official name was ¡®The Shadows of the Great Tree of Truth¡¯,¡± Karashel smiled impishly.

    ¡°Oh them. (rm, severe anxiety, physical stress response) I think they were some sort of dissident group a few decades ago (evasive truth).¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°They were. In fact, they were a surprisingly popr non-violent separatist movement forty-six years ago, roughly the same time <em>you</em> were at university. You must have encountered them. I understand they were very active there.¡±

    (stress response, fear)

    ¡°Yeah, they were (evasive truth). I couldn¡¯t stand those idiots (lie).¡±

    Karashel turned her holo monitor around. News footage of a demonstration was ying. Tiny armored policemen were firing tear gas into the tree canopies as other masked beings were jumping and gliding about, some throwing sticks and rocks back at the police.

    (nausea, fear, stress)

    ¡°I think this was when they broke up the big ¡®perch in¡¯ at the sky beam,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°Isn¡¯t that some big living tree or something?¡±

    ¡°Y¡­ yes it is¡­ (nausea, stress, anxiety, fear)¡±

    ¡°I think you know where this is going,¡± Karashel smiled.

    The scene fast-forwarded through the chaos and then zoomed in on some action in the background. A young figure with flowers in her hair was being pulled to the ground, kicking and biting, as all of her arms and legs were shackled.

    ¡°Can you believe we were ever that young?¡± Karashel chuckled.

    (severe nausea, embarrassment, anxiety, fear, anger, vition)

    ¡°B-ckmail? (anger, vition, fear, nausea) Is this what this is all about? (anger, vition, fear, nausea)¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡± Karashel replied, ¡°This never leaves this room. I was just tired of all of the bullshit.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit? (confusion)¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a human term,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°It means nonsense, evasion, deception, or time-wasting effort without results. That¡¯s a rough definition. Like so many of their wonderful sayings, it has such a depth of meaning, but that¡¯s close enough for this discussion.¡±

    Karashel leaned forward.

    ¡°Let¡¯s drop the <em>bullshit</em>, shall we?¡±

    (anger, vulnerability)

    ¡°You were once part of ¡®The Shadows of the Great Tree of Truth¡¯,¡± Karashel said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°And like many of the ¡®promising but misguided¡¯ youth ¡®swept up¡¯ in that movement your records were purged after you recanted and recited some pledge or another.¡±

    ¡°It was a song. (resentment, humiliation, anger)¡±

    ¡°You said it was all a mistake and that you¡¯d ¡®glide true¡¯ from then on, correct?¡±

    Una bristled. (You pissed her off,rade!)

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t get me wrong,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°I¡¯m not faulting you for <em>any</em> of it. If anything, I¡¯m envious.¡±

    (confusion)

    ¡°You had it figured out way back then,¡± Karashel chuckled, ¡°I was such a little idiot when I was that age. My biggest concern was that I wasn¡¯t the right shade of pink and that a certain <em>fucking idiot</em> didn¡¯t know how to be a good boyfriend.¡±

    (confusion)

    ¡°And there you were, screaming the <em>truth</em> about the Federation from the tallest tree you could climb until they pulled you down, fighting all the way!¡±

    (confusion)

    ¡°I¡¯ve read your group¡¯s manifesto,¡± Karashel said, ¡°And¡­ it¡¯s one hundred percent <em>true</em>, all of it. I use different terms to describe the same predatory actions, but yes. ¡®The Shadows¡¯ had the truth of it.¡±

    (confusion, visceral undefined)

    ¡°You did ¡®glide true¡¯ and entered public service, and then politics where you were very active in a certain minority party that never quite wins but does effectively steer public policy, at least a little,¡± Karashel continued, ¡°You were quite the rising star, so much so that you were ¡®kicked upstairs¡¯ and given the ¡®great honor¡¯ of councilor where you were conveniently out of the way since your position is treated the same as mine. We are just finger puppets with mushroom stamps who get to go to fancy parties and vote a straight party line or whatever we are told via email.¡±

    ¡°I thought, (embarrassment, chagrin)¡± Una sighed, ¡°I thought that I could maybe, <em>actually</em> make a difference...¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t feel alone,¡± Karashelughed, ¡°I actually came here honestly believing that the Federation was a nice ce.¡±

    (amusement, kinship)

    ¡°Yeah¡­ (amusement, chagrin, sadness)¡±

    ¡°So, tell me, Una,¡± Karashel asked earnestly, ¡°Do you still believe it?¡±

    (elerated heartbeat, queasiness, thrill, terror)

    ¡°Believe what? (ditto)¡±

    ¡°Do you still believe what that young Javv who, blinded by tear gas, still fought half a dozen armored police officers fang and w did?¡±

    (absolute terror)

    ¡°Because I do,¡± Karashel said calmly. ¡°And I think you know why, don¡¯t you?¡±

    Una nodded (true, shame)

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not going to work out the way the Gvorta have nned,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°In fact, they just might have a rather bad daying up. And, after I finish with them, I shall then deal with the Federation.¡±

    (shock)

    ¡°Because you were right, Una. The Federation no longer represents its stated values. They have been perverted into a sick joke that gets sicker each year. It is no longer sustainable. It <em>must</em> change.¡±

    (shock)

    ¡°What if I told you,¡± Karashel said, her voice raising slightly, ¡°That it <em>could</em> be <em>made</em> to change and that it could be achieved <em>with no risk to your people</em>. In fact, they would prosper, even in these dark times, achieve more prosperity than you can even imagine¡­ And be safe, truly safe¡­ Because <em>Veeka is right</em>¡­ <em>I</em> was the one who cut the deal with the <em>Forsaken</em>, and the <em>Forsaken</em> know who their friends are¡­ and the friends of their friends¡­ Your people can be <em>safe</em>, <em>prosperous</em>, <em>free of the Gvorta</em>, and <em>you</em>, Una, will be able to be a part of the movement that will <em>bring the Federation to its knees and force it to change</em>¡­ or <em>be destroyed</em>¡­ Either way, the Javv will prosper¡­¡±

    (terror, thrill, excitement, amazement¡­ hope¡­)

    ¡°If you aren¡¯t interested,¡± Karashel said, ¡°Then you will be offered <em>that</em> trade agreement. No harm. No foul. I¡¯m not worried about you disclosing anything I¡¯ve said thus far. I can simply deny it. The Federation already has its culprits. I can¡¯t keep blowing councilors up. People will talk.¡±

    Una giggled (shock, ck humor, schadenfreude).

    ¡°However, if you are interested in what I have nned, how it <em>will</em> work, and how <em>you</em> and your people can get in on the ground floor of the <em>new</em> Federation, with all of the benefits that entails, I would be honored to share my vision with you¡­ <strong>I will tear it all down.</strong> No more shall another race ever suffer the way ours have. No longer shall the privileged few harvest us like so much grain. No longer¡­ <em>No longer...¡±</em>

    (terror, thrill, excitement)

    ¡°So, tell me, Una,¡± Karashel said as she rose to her full height spreading her tendrils, ¡°Interested?¡±

    (terror, thrill, excitement, adoration)

    Una nodded (true).

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Karashel smiled as she tossed the trade agreement over her shoulder. ¡°So¡­ What do you know about <em>vertical integration</em>?¡±

 Chapter 172: In the Background

    Chapter 172: In the Background

    (A few weeks ago)

    ¡°What in the four manifestations of God¡¯s will have you presented me with?¡± a grey and ck patterned face with a central mouth ringed by four eyesughed.

    ¡°Can you make it or not?¡± Jessica Morgan chuckled at her screen, already knowing the answer.

    ¡°Sure, how many million do you want?¡± the strange visage on her OLED screen replied, ¡°But <em>what</em> is it? I mean, I know what it is but not <em>what</em> it is. My engineers have a pool running.¡±

    ¡°You mean you don¡¯t know?¡± Jessica smirked, ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right. You never got this far. You guys watched the Juon invasion of your world on cathode-ray tubes.¡±

    ¡°Which is why we¡¯re pretty sure we know what this bit is for,¡± the weird xeno replied, pointing at a diagram in front of him. ¡°Is it some kind of weapon? Because it wouldn¡¯t be a very good one.¡±

    ¡°Actually,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°It can be an excellent weapon, but you¡¯re right. That¡¯s not its primary application. We¡¯re reviving a bit of ancient history to save a buck and, far more importantly, a great deal of time and resources.¡±

    ¡°Is it rted to this other thing?¡± the figure asked as another diagram appeared. ¡°Now this one we know, but why do you need gyroscopes of this size and power? The overall scale of the twoponents seems to bepatible, though. Are they part of arger assembly?¡±

    ¡°That they are,¡± Jessica replied.

    ¡°Would you be interested in what you call a ¡®turn-key¡¯ arrangement? I¡¯m certain we can build whatever these are involved in quite quickly and reasonably.¡±

    ¡°Op-sec,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°And I have quite therge workforce at the minute, even if they are shrinking by the fucking day that I <em>need</em> to utilize. It¡¯s getting ugly and even The Penitent are having problems maintaining order. A project, even a forced one, will focus their anger and dispel the helplessness destroying my people faster than the gue.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re using <em>infected</em> workers on this project?¡± the creature asked in surprise. ¡°Aren¡¯t you worried about contamination?¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t a concern for these,¡± Jessica replied grimly.

    ¡°Very well,¡± the creature smiled, ¡°We will start expedited production immediately.¡±

    ¡°Great!¡± Jessica enthused with a smile, ¡°Now, Horace (his ¡®human¡¯ name ¨C His real one is just not happening), those flywheels have to be <em>exactly</em> to spec. They are going to be (heh) flying.¡±

    ¡°Has anything I have ever supplied <em>not</em> been ¡®exactly to spec¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but these flywheels kind of freak me out.¡±

    ¡°This is why I like humans,¡± Horace replied, ¡°You actually know what is dangerous. Do not worry, Jessica, they will be <em>perfect</em>¡­ well¡­ as perfect as they need to be.¡±

    ¡°I look forward to their <em>expedited</em> delivery,¡± Jessica said as she sipped a cold cup of tea.

    ¡°They will be,¡± Horace replied, ¡°I have no other customers currently engaging in hostilities. The entire workforce is aware of your situation and¡­ (sigh)¡­ Our prayers are with you, as will be our efforts. You will have¡­ whatever in the insatiable void this is, to spec, as fast as we can provide them.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Horace,¡± Jessica replied.

    ¡°So¡­ What is it? Please, Jessica, I just have to know.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a smart cookie,¡± Jessica smiled, ¡°figure it out or just watch the news after delivery. We are going to field these as soon as we get those¡­ Oops. I almost let the cat out of the bag¡­ Thoseponents.¡±

    ¡°Bah,¡± Horace chuckled, ¡°I guess we will just have to wait.¡±

    Jessica just smiled.

    ¡°When you see them in use, you will recognize them. The sooner we get them, the sooner you will have your mystery solved. Take care, Horace.¡±

    ¡°You too, Jessica,¡± Horace replied. ¡°Oh, before we end this transmission, the Empress has closed the border to Federation space in order to protect our human poption¡­ However, if any of your ships happen to enter our system, they would be resupplied and refueled before being politely asked to leave the Empire.¡±

    ¡°I will keep that in mind, Horace,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°That truly means a lot to me, however...¡±

    Her eyes gleamed dangerously.

    ¡°Our ns have changed. While I am still evacuating people as quickly as possible, I am no longer abandoning Raylesh. I am going to save <em>all</em> of my people. I¡­ I abandoned humanity once, and I <em>will not</em> do it again. I am staying right <em>here</em> until <em>every single one</em> of my people is either dead, cured, or evacuated¡­ We need thoseponents, Horace.¡±

    ¡°Are you insane?!?¡± Horace eximed, ¡°Even <em>you</em> can¡¯t hope to stand against the focused might of the Federation. You¡¯ve pushed your luck far too hard as it is. Jessica¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve made my decision, Horace.¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°I will stand and <em>fight</em> right here, on this world, with my feet on the <em>ground!</em> I am not tucking tail and fleeing into space, abandoning my nation, <em>my world</em>, ever again! If the Federationes, they will face the <strong>full fury</strong> of humanity¡­ and they will <em>lose.¡±</em>

    Horace pulled himself upright and flipped open a knife with one of his many limbs.

    He cut another.

    ¡°Then the Ukk&v##@ Corporation pledges a blood oath. We shall stand with you. Whatever you need¡­ wherever you need it¡­ no matter the risk¡­ Just tell us what you require, and you <em>will</em> receive it. T8*Vril~~!%kth VA!¡­ Your blood, our products¡­ Fight with God itself at your side.¡±

    Jessica scoffed.

    ¡°God doesn¡¯t take my calls anymore, Horace.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps he will take mine and those of the people you protect.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    Jessica decided not to get into it. Horace could believe whatever he wanted as long as she got thoseponents.

    ¡°Thank you, Horace,¡± she replied.

    ***

    (Last Week)

    ¡°Hello?¡± a bright, cheerful voice asked as a bright pink slug¡¯s face appeared on Jessica¡¯s screen. ¡°Oh! Hi there!¡±

    ¡°Hello, Karashel,¡± Jessica smiled as she sipped a freshly refilled cup.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been talking with my former legal department, and I must say,¡± Jessica said with genuine respect, ¡°I am truly impressed.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡± Karashel beamed.

    ¡°However,¡± Jessica smiled, ¡°I now need something in return.¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡± Karashel said brightly as her eyes narrowed slightly, ¡°What do you want?¡± she asked ¡°innocently¡±.

    ¡°You.¡±

    Karashel grinned.

    ¡°Will that work?¡± she giggled, ¡°Because I¡¯m down!¡±

    They bothughed at the shared joke.

    ¡°I¡¯ve let you pick my brain at your leisure,¡± Jessica said, ¡°now I would like to pick yours. If your slow brain could spare a few moments, I would like it to ponder something for me.¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± Karashel beamed, ¡°What do you want me to noodle?¡±

    ***

    ¡°Then I¡¯m staying too!¡± Gordon eximed.

    ¡°Oh, I wish you could,¡± Jessica said as they snuggled in the afterglow. ¡°But you are just too important to the future of our people. You are needed out there, where you will be safe.¡±

    Gordon kissed her.

    ¡°How many years of ¡®future¡¯ do I have left, Jessica?¡± he asked. ¡°I want to spend them <em>here</em>, with <em>you</em>. I¡¯ve taught <em>hundreds</em> of chemical engineers, <em>and dozens</em> of them could rece me <em>right now.</em> Urs can lead the <em>Rumrunner</em> as well as I can, and she has at least a <em>century</em> left in her.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but she isn¡¯t <em>you</em>,¡± Jessica said as she stroked his cheek. ¡°Our people need your genius.¡±

    ¡°No, they don¡¯t,¡± Gordon smiled. ¡°We¡¯ve raised them good, Jess. They will be just fine without me. If anyone is irreceable, it¡¯s you. Besides, where I¡¯m truly needed is right here.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t about just us,¡± Jessica said softly. ¡°We have to think about the bigger picture.¡±

    ¡°Narcissistic much,¡± Gordonughed gently as he booped her nose. ¡°<em>This</em> is where the real threat to our people is, the <em>gue.</em> I can¡¯t work on this <em>up there</em>. I need samples, test subjects, things that we don¡¯t <em>dare</em> send up. C¡¯mon, Jess. What would I do up there, make booze? Whip up gutters? Maybe synthesize some sparkle or glitter dust or whatever sells these days? There are <em>thousands</em> of people who can do all of that and more. Face it, as soon as I leave Raylesh, my research stops. If you are serious about not abandoning these people, you need me right here, doing what I do.¡±

    He chuckled as he kissed her again.

    ¡°The fact that you get to keep your boy toy is just a plus.¡±

    ¡°I need you <em>safe</em> more!¡± Jessica said desperately. ¡°We have the Terrans here, and they¡ª¡°

    ¡°They aren¡¯t <em>us</em>, Jess,¡± Gordon replied firmly, ¡°and you know it. Yeah, they are doing what they do, but in the end, it isn¡¯t their people on the line here. It¡¯s ours.¡±

    ¡°The <em>Federation</em> ising, Gordon,¡± Jessica said as she sat up, ¡°and they will try to wipe us out this time. There won¡¯t bendings. There won¡¯t be martialw. They are going to do to Raylesh what they did to Porkie Town. Please, you have to <em>understand.¡±</em>

    Jessica looked down.

    ¡°I can¡¯t lose you.¡±

    ¡°Typical,¡± Gordon snorted as he tousled Jessica¡¯s hair. ¡°You are so afraid of losing something that you lose it trying to save it. You are kinda stupid that way.¡±

    Gordon looked at Jessica with a serious expression.

    ¡°If you are going to make a stand here,¡± he said, ¡°then I¡¯m standing with you. I made the decision to do that a long time ago, and while I¡¯ve bitterly regretted it <em>more than once,</em> right now, I believe that you <em>are</em> the best chance we have. So, once again, I chose <em>you</em>. You¡¯ll need your best people if you want to make a go of this¡­ Unless this is all bullshit, and you are throwing your life away in some grand act of contrition...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°It¡¯s just that I¡¯ve abandoned my people once before, and it wound up being for <em>nothing</em>¡­ I just <em>can¡¯t</em> do it again, Gordon.¡±

    She looked away so Gordon wouldn¡¯t see the tears.

    ¡°...I just can¡¯t¡­ I <em>won¡¯t</em> do it again.¡±

    ¡°And I didn¡¯t?¡± Gordon asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like you are the only one who¡¯s gonna burn in hell in a couple of years.¡±

    He sighed.

    ¡°When you came to me, all those years ago, I could have gone public¡­ I could have warned my colleagues¡­ my <em>family</em>¡­ Did I?¡­ No. I¡­ I just got on that¡­ <em>fucking</em>¡­ ship... thankful that <em>I</em> was going to <em>live</em>¡­ I lied to myself and said that it was for the ¡®greater good¡¯, but I was just saving my own skin.¡±

    He looked away too.

    ¡°Then¡­ during it all¡­ I was every bit a part of it as anyone else¡­ It wasn¡¯t just guns and ammunition we used to pay¡­ <em>them</em>¡­ it was <em>my drugs</em>, too. It was your guns in their hands and <em>my drugs</em> in their veins, Jess¡­ <em>I knew what I was doing</em>¡­ same as you¡­ That¡¯s why I was so fucked up all the time¡­ I couldn¡¯t bear to do what I was doing sober¡­ And I was so <em>blitzed out</em> and so focused on keeping the bombs, booze, and drugs flowing <em>including your little helpers</em> that I wasn¡¯t looking at that ¡®big picture¡¯ that you always talk about and that ¡®greater good¡¯ that kept me from spacing myself...¡±

    ¡°Oh, darling!¡± Jessica eximed as she turned and put her hand on Gordon¡¯s shoulder, ¡°You did a <em>lot</em> more than just that! If it wasn¡¯t for you...¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gordon snorted, ¡°Yay, me,¡± he added weakly. ¡°But¡­ what has been <em>killing</em> me all of these years is that <em>It could have been me!</em>¡­ It <em>should have been me!¡±</em>

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    <em>¡± Jovian rice!¡±</em> Gordon eximed. ¡°I was so focused on drugs, making and taking them, bombs, and all the other shit that I <empletely missed</em> the fact that <em>we didn¡¯t need to kill for food!¡±</em>

    He sighed.

    ¡± We could have <em>made</em> it...¡±

    He buried his face in his hands.

    ¡°But we didn¡¯t have gas miners,¡± Jessica said, trying tofort him with an embrace.

    ¡°We didn¡¯t need <em>fucking gas miners!¡±</em> Gordon shouted. ¡°We had <em>everything</em> we needed. The Kuiper belt and Oort cloud are <empletely loaded</em> with organics!¡­ <em>It would have been easy!</em>¡­ but I was too fucking stoned and too focused on keeping those fucking animals pliable¡­ You aren¡¯t the only one who failed humanity, Jess. Between keeping silent and <em>that</em>, I¡¯m the <emst</em> person who deserves one of those berths. Use it on someone who actually deserves it.¡±

    Jessica looked at Gordon and sighed. She honestly had no idea what he was talking about, but Gordon knew chemistry better than anyone she knew, and if he said it was possible, it was.

    Gordon turned to her, eyes full of tears.

    ¡°If you aren¡¯t abandoning these people because you can¡¯t bear to¡­ then I can¡¯t either¡­ Please, if you care about me at all, let me stay.¡±

    ¡°Of course, I care about you!¡± Jessica eximed, ¡°I¡­ I¡­ I love you.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡±

    Jessica looked at him with open, vulnerable eyes.

    ¡°I do, Gordon¡­ I...¡±

    She choked up.

    ¡°Well... if you love me...¡± Gordon said slyly as he magically produced a set of big fluffy neko ears.

    Jessica just burst intoughter¡­ and reached for the ears.

    ***

    (Today)

    Every radio, holovid,puter, and public address system on Raylesh and Zaran switched on if it wasn¡¯t on already.

    Across every radio and on every open hyperspatial band echoing across the gxy, Jessica Morgan¡¯s voice suddenly spoke.

    <em>People of Raylesh...</em>

    <em>As you all know, we are facing the darkest days since The Sol Wars...</em>

    <em>We are testing people as fast as we can, and loading ship after ship as quickly as possible...</em>

    <em>That you know...</em>

    <em>What you do not know¡­ Is that I will not be on one of them...</em>

    <em>I am staying right here until the end. I am remaining WITH YOU until the LAST person is either cured, evacuated, or dead...</em>

    <em>This is our HOME¡­ And you are MY PEOPLE¡­ We WILL hold Raylesh, and we WILL save each and every one of you¡­ or DIE in the attempt...</em>

    <em>We have been running for over a hundred years...</em>

    <em>My people¡­ we are DONE running¡­ IF we leave Raylesh, it will be an orderly evacuation, not fleeing in terror, abandoning BILLIONS out of cowardice¡­ And if you board a ship, know that it will NOT be your final home¡­ I WILL either save this world, or I will TEAR out the HEART of this universe and give that to YOU¡­ MY PEOPLE!...</em>

    <em>To those who would seek the end of my people¡­ who seek the end of ME¡­</em>

    <em>HERE I AM, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I am right here, on Raylesh. If you want me,e and get me. I will NOT abandon my people EVER AGAIN!</em>

    Across Raylesh, a stunned silence fell¡­

    And for the first time since the nightmare started, people could be seen smiling.

    Some even cheered¡­ or coughed¡­ or gurgled¡­

    There wasn¡¯t much you could count on in this gxy, but if the Devil made a promise¡­

    She <em>kept</em> it.

    For the first time in what felt like forever¡­

    There was hope.

    ***

    In the Republic, many also smiled, some ruefully, some wickedly. The general consensus was, ¡°Well, the Federation is about to find out why we <em>hate</em> those fuckers.¡± usually followed by a grin.

    ¡°OG¡¯s¡± started to tell stories of the final blood-soaked days of the Sol Wars, thest time the Porkies were backed against the wall, thest time the Devil stopped running, some smiling about it for the first time. They had lost family to the Federation a lot more recently than they did to those bastards.

    If anyone deserved those <em>animals</em>, it was them. Good riddance to the lot. Hope they kill each other¡­ But if you could squeeze the truth out of any of those vicious, ancient fuckers, you might be surprised who many of them were secretly rooting for.

    New Vegas, Monte Carlo, and most other such ces started taking bets on how long the Federation was going to survive¡­

    ...with very, very few people betting that they would win, even with the very generous odds.

    Johnny and every other arms dealer just sighed and reached for their phones once again¡­

    Maybe there was a source that hadn¡¯t been tapped yet.

    ***

    Capital City¡¯s reaction was a bit less pleased.

    Karashel undted out of her office and listened to the angry murmurs.

    She smiled to herself as she made her way to a conference room where the councilors for the Gvorta and two other species awaited, getting angrier by the minute.

    Councilor Una was also there, trying to look annoyed and y along, mostly trying not to pass out or give anything away.

    She looked at hermunicator.

    One thing you could say about Jessica, she was punctual.

    Karashel liked that.

 Chapter 173: Slip... Thud. The Prey Falls.

    Chapter 173: Slip... Thud. The Prey Falls.

    ¡°You said that we would meet at two!¡± the Gvortan councilor hissed in annoyance.

    ¡°Did I?¡± Karashel asked brightly as she undted into the conference room containing him, Una, and two other councilors that formed the Gvortan block. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I could have sworn I said three thirty. Sorry!¡±

    ***

    ¡°Ok,¡± Councilor Laek~Vet of the Besl sneered at <em>exactly the same time</em> as a small reptilian stood in front of him, shaking with anger. ¡°Now we talk.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Sorry about the dy, gentlebeings,¡± Councilor Longpaw chirped as he bounced into a conference room where several <em>very</em> agitated well-dressed individuals grumbled.

    ***

    ¡°Hello...¡± Councilor Rillrillrillrill buzzed as her hood red, rippling hypnotically, as she opened the door to her conference room just as a timer beeped.

    ***

    ¡°You¡¯re finally here!¡± an angry avian clucked as the massive lumbering form of the Yuii councilor entered the room¡­

    At <em>precisely</em> three thirty Federation standard time¡­

    ***

    ¡°Here.¡± the Gvortan councilor barked as he shoved a tablet towards Karashel. ¡°Sign.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Karashel smiled.

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°You heard me,¡± she smiled. ¡°I won¡¯t be signing that, sorry.¡±

    ¡°You have no choice!¡±

    ¡°Oh but I do, <em>councilor</em>,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°And I choose not to sign that agreement.¡±

    ¡°If you don¡¯t,¡± the Gvortan sneered, ¡°We will sue your race straight into management! There is <em>no way</em> your garbage contract termination will hold up in court! The emergency council <em>said</em>¡ª¡°

    ¡°That we have to honor any standing agreement,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°But you stated that you could not pay.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just because¡ª¡°

    ¡°The precedent on this is quite clear, councilor,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°And it has been used <em>repeatedly</em> against ¡®lowlies¡¯ like myself. So I¡¯m reasonably sure that the contacts and ¡®friends¡¯ you have in high ces will choose to protect that concept over your people.¡±

    ¡°Then we will have no choice but to inform the Federation Bank about your people¡¯s <em>fraud</em>!¡± the Gvortan councilor said malevolently. ¡°You didn¡¯t think you could hide that from us, did you? We <em>own</em> you. We will then be able to call in your debts, and you <em>will</em> go into management!¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Karashel sighed, ¡°It would be a terrible day should that happen. We would be impoverished¡­¡±

    Karashel smiled pleasantly.

    ¡°But <em>we</em> wouldn¡¯t <em>starve to death</em>.¡±

    The Gvortan fell silent.

    ¡°You could inform the Federation Bank and all other appropriate agencies about our fraudulent filings, and you could then call in your loans and get all of your friends to do the same¡­ Then you could file a case for stewardship of the Baleean people¡­ <em>How long would that take</em>, even under the best of conditions? Weeks?¡­ Months?¡­ <em>Years</em> if we fight it, which we <em>can</em>¡­¡±

    A chill fell over the room.

    ¡°You see,¡± Karashel said cheerfully, ¡°We know <em>all</em> about you as well. You have maybe two weeks before the shelves start going empty. With no replenishment, you have <em>maybe</em> a month before <em>everything</em> is gone.¡±

    ¡°Are you threatening us?!?¡± the Gvorta shouted. ¡°Because if you are, we will <em>crush you</em>.¡±

    ¡°Oh goodness no!¡± Karashel gasped, ¡°A <em>Baleean</em> threatening the <em>Gvorta</em>? Perish the thought. I¡¯m just making an observation, that¡¯s all. I just thought that I should mention it because <em>if</em> we have to enter a long, protracted legal fight, we <em>will</em> have to generate revenue, somehow.¡±

    Karashel undted towards the Gvorta.

    ¡°And the <em>only</em> thing we have to sell is food¡­ Your food¡­ which we will have no choice but do. Even if we only get a fraction of what it is worth, we will simply have no choice.¡±

    ¡°There is no way you will be able to find a buyer!¡± the Gvortan sneered, ¡°We will <em>personally</em> see to it that¡ª¡°

    ¡°That the Vulxeen won¡¯t buy?¡±

    ¡°T-the...¡±

    ¡°Ever hear of Korvulxxha Capital?¡± Karashel asked cheerfully, ¡°It¡¯s one of the big Vulxeen financial thingies. As luck has it, they actually weathered the <em>horrible</em> events that happened over there and, since the stock market is¡­ Well, I don¡¯t really get it, but they have decided to ¡®diversify¡¯ intomodities and are happy to buy from us.¡±

    Karashel bounced happily.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that amazing!¡± she enthused. ¡°She <em>really</em> wants to make a deal with us, too! I like her. She¡¯s nice. In fact...¡±

    Karashel pulled out <em>three</em> tablets.

    ¡°You will see that I only have three trade agreements with me,¡± she bubble-chirped, ¡°Because we have already sold them <em>so much</em> that I can¡¯t meet the demands of all of you.¡±

    The room burst out into angry (and quite frightened) shouting.

    ¡°You can¡¯t do this!¡± the Gvortan yelled, pounding the table with a chitinous fist.

    ¡°Why not?¡± Karashel asked innocently.

    ¡°We will get an emergency injunction blocking this and file a criminalint about your people¡¯s fraud! As their representative, you could go to prison!¡±

    Karashel smiled¡­ less than pleasantly.

    ¡°Now, who is issuing threats, councilor?¡± she said with a silky slimy bubbly purr. ¡°I was trying to be nice because we have done so much business in the past, and the Baleean people have <em>profited</em> so much due to your <em>kindness</em>...¡±

    She oozed up onto the table, leaning towards the Gvortan.

    ¡°The reason why I was sote is that <em>I</em> was in a meeting with the Federation Bank and the Judicial Department where I made a <em>full confession</em> concerning our incorrect filing.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡± the Gvortan stammered.

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s going to be quite unpleasant,¡± Karashel snickered, ¡°You, of course, know what the penalty for that ¡®fraud¡¯ is, don¡¯t you? It¡¯s a fine. Fines are only a concern when you can¡¯t pay them, and thanks to the initial sales to those <em>filthy traitors</em>, the forced buyout, and the <em>significant</em> purchase by Korvulxxha Capital, we will have no problem paying it.¡±

    The Gvortan just hissed in shock.

    ¡°Of course, we filed a new, correct financial statement that you and any creditors will receive tomorrow. In it, you will find out that we have received a very advantageous line of credit from that same financial¡­ thingy¡­¡±

    Karashel looked at the Gvortan with moist, alien, merciless eyes.

    ¡°Do you have any other threats you would like to try, or can we get down to business?¡± she said in a friendly but quite menacing way. ¡°Or you can leave and try to secure another food source before your people resort to cannibalism? Are you familiar with The Sol Wars, <em>councilor</em>? It took only weeks before a civilization far more prosperous and stable than your own descended into absolute barbarism. Of course, the Federation wouldn¡¯t let that happen, but <em>you</em> are far closer to management than I will ever be again.¡±

    The Gvortan councilor just stood there in shock.

    ¡°In any civilization, there is usually at least one element of scarcity,¡± Karashel said pleasantly, ¡°In times past, that was usually energy or raw materials¡­ or at certain times in most people¡¯s history, potable water. However, in our <em>prosperous</em> and <em>advanced</em> age, energy is no longer a concern. Fusion has provided us all with a clean, limitless source of all the energy we could ever need, and the fuel is, even with all of the price fixing and artificial ¡®scarcity¡¯ imposed on us, still of very low cost. It is not a concern even for us. Raw materials? We can now harvest the full resources of entire <em>systems</em>. Again, here in the Federation, due to <em>exclusivity</em> uses, price fixing, and the like, it is a little bit of a concern, but once again, an artificial one. There is nothing <em>physically</em> stopping any race from obtaining whatever they need. Water?¡±

    Karashelughed.

    ¡°Even the Federation doesn¡¯t try to corner water. Every system is <em>full</em> of it. Any of us could literally drown our home <ems</em> in the water drifting around in any of our sr systems...¡±

    Karashel spread her tendrils wide.

    ¡°Yes, pretty much every single thing a society needs is right there for the taking¡­ except for <em>one</em> thing...¡±

    Her eyes gleamed with a moist evil light.

    <em>¡± Food.</em> Theplex organicpounds that we all must consume on a regr basis to sustain life are <em>not</em> abundant in the gxy. You can¡¯t just fly out to an asteroid and scoop it up. It, whether it be animal or vegetable, has to be <em>grown</em>, a time and resource intensive undertaking. <em>Sure</em> it <em>can</em> be made, but that takes a lot of time, effort, <em>knowledge</em>, and the capital resources to do so on a truly industrial level. Only <em>one</em> species does it, and that is only because they <em>had</em> to or be <em>extinct</em>. So, while possible, it cannot be done from scratch before a society implodes¡­ but all of you already know that, or you would not be sitting here listening to a mere <em>Baleel</em> give you a lecture on the painfully obvious.¡±

    Karashel paused while she lined up the three tablets on the table in front of her watching the eyes of each of the four councilors follow their every move¡­ Except for Una, of course. She was looking down at the floor.

    ¡°Food is also <em>resource intensive</em> and <em>hard</em> on the environment. It takes <em>millions</em> of square kilometers of valuable real estate and requires the utilization of millions of workers, even with automation so <em>generously</em> provided by you kind people. Those people could be used so much more profitably if they weren¡¯t dedicated to the simple act of keeping civilization alive. Why sacrifice yourboratories, factories¡­ <em>rain forests</em>¡­ for something as pedestrian as <em>food</em> when you can shift that burden to another, lower race? Let <em>them</em> wreck <em>their</em>. Let <em>them</em> use their people, especially when you can bully and coerce them into epting the prices that you set. It¡¯s actually <em>cheaper</em> to exploit some stupid, less advanced race to be the <em>major supplier</em> of something so <em>basic</em> as <em>the one thing that keeps all of you alive</em>.¡±

    Karashel chuckled.

    ¡°The only thing is that if you are <em>foolish</em> enough to do something like that,¡± she smiled, ¡°You had better <em>never</em> let their face out of the mud for even <em>one single breath</em> because if you ever did make that <em>fatal</em> mistake...¡±

    Karashel shook her anterior end sadly.

    ¡°It could be bad¡­ <em>All</em> you had to do was be halfway <em>decent</em>, and we would have been happy to be the stupid little idiot farmers that you think that we are, but no. You <em>had</em> to push just that little bit harder. Why <em>pay</em> us at all? Why not drive us into management and then just¡­ take it?¡±

    Karashel pointed at the three tablets.

    ¡°Now, three of you will pay for that mistake. One of you <em>won¡¯t</em>,¡± she smiled. ¡°Firste, first served, subject to avability.¡±

    ¡°This is madness!¡± the Gvorta shouted. ¡°If you think that <em>any</em> of us will bow to a <em>Baleel</em> and your <em>ludicrous</em> demands, you are¡ª¡°

    Karashel idly wiggled two of her tendrils and her left eyestalk.

    Councilor Una lunge-scampered across the table, mming her sigil down on the leftmost tablet with an electronic ¡°beep¡±.

    ¡°Una?!?¡± the Gvortan shouted.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± Una squeaked, ¡°¡­ I¡¯m sorry...¡± she said as she looked away in shame.

    ¡°Two agreements remaining,¡± Karashel smiled.

    The remaining three xenos looked at each other uncertainly. Then, almost at once, they all lunged for a tablet, the Gvortan councilor wrenching it away from the much weaker Illipp.

    ¡°What the hell is this thing?¡± the Gvortan demanded. ¡°It¡¯s thousands of pages long.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t sign it then,¡± Karashel shrugged. ¡°I believe the Illipp seemed rather interested in it.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t say that I <em>wouldn¡¯t</em> sign it...¡± the Gvortan stammered, ¡°I just said that I need to have it reviewed.¡±

    ¡°Take your time,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°But, as I said¡­¡± she purred as she produced <em>another</em> tablet and handed it to the Illipp councilor, ¡°Firste, first served, subject to avability.¡±

    <em>beep</em>

    The other xeno with a tablet, the Molovnkt, mmed his sigil down, signing it.

    ¡°Damn you!¡± he snarled.

    ¡°You can¡¯t just force us to sign something we haven¡¯t even reviewed!¡± the Gvortan shouted, ¡°This is extortion!¡±

    ¡°You call it extortion,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°I call it, once again, ¡®Firste, first served, subject to avability¡¯.¡±

    She pulled out hermunicator.

    ¡°This is a waste of time,¡± she said into it, ¡°Inform the Vulxeen that our entire stock is avable for purchase minus the amounts set aside for the Javv and the Molovnkt. Our remaining ¡®partner¡¯ will just have to make do with what¡¯s left¡­¡±

    The Illippean councilor made a strangled sound and reached into his pocket just as a very clear ¡°beep¡± could be heard beside him as the Gvortan smashed his sigil angrily against the tablet, nearly cracking it.

    <em>beep</em>

    ¡°No...¡± the Illippean moaned in horror as the full implications of that ¡°beep¡± became clear.

    Una buried her face in her hands. It had to be done, but that did not make this any better.

    ¡°There¡­ there will be consequences for this!¡± the Gvortan hissed, ring at Karashel.

    ¡°Of that, there is no doubt¡­<em> Councilor</em>,¡± Karashel smiled.

 Chapter 174: Karashels Radula

    Chapter 174: Karashel''s Rad

    ¡°WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?¡± The Gvortan Ambassador screamed as he grabbed the councilor and mmed him against the wall. ¡°DID YOU EVEN READ THIS?!?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t have time!¡± the Gvortan councilor eximed trying to struggle free, ¡°That dammed Baleel was selling our food supply right out from under us!¡±

    ¡°YOU SHOULD HAVE LET HER!!!¡± The ambassador screamed as he hurled the councilor across the room.

    ¡°We would have starved, or wound up entering emergency management!¡±

    ¡°IT WOULD BE BETTER IF WE STARVED!!!¡± the ambassador screamed as he kicked the councilor in the mid segment causing the ambassador to retch and il.

    ¡°YOU RUINED US!!!¡± the ambassador screamed as his aides rushed into the office, grabbing him by the upper arms.

    ¡°(gag)¡­ (cough)¡­ <em>Have you lost your mind?!?¡±</em> the Gvortan councilor gasped as he struggled to his multiple feet.

    ¡°I lost MY mind?!?¡± the ambassador shrieked trying to struggle free. ¡°You just signed over our entire race to those fucking garden pests!¡±

    The ambassador reached onto his desk with one of his secondary limbs and slung a tablet at the councilor.

    ¡°And that¡¯s just the tip of the fucking iceberg!¡± the ambassador shouted. ¡°They are losing their minds back home!¡±

    ¡°This¡­¡± the councilor spluttered, ¡°This is ludicrous! There is no way this will go through.¡±

    ¡°IT ALREADY DID!!!¡± the ambassador shrieked.

    ¡°What?¡± the councilor gasped. ¡°Impossible! There is NO WAY this can be legal! We were coerced!¡±

    ¡°Did she put a fucking ster to your head?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ no¡­ but...¡±

    ¡°THEN IT ISN¡¯T FUCKING COERCION!!!¡±

    ¡°Calm down, ambassador,¡± the councilor said, trying to remain calm himself. ¡°We can simply refuse to honor this while we appeal.¡±

    ¡°And they will cut off the food supply which is now being delivered every two days!¡± the ambassador shouted. ¡°And guess how long those shipments willst?¡±

    ¡°Then we will buy it from somewhere else!¡±

    ¡°You signed an exclusivity use, you imbecile!¡± the ambassador yelled as one of his upper arms broke free, ¡°We <em>can¡¯t</em> legally buy food from anywhere else and if anyone <em>does</em> sell to us, <em>which they won¡¯t</em>, you know what the Baleel can do to them. You fucking signed a <em>nket</em> exclusivity use! We can¡¯t buy <em>anything</em>¡­ no goods¡­ no services¡­ except from the ¡®Baleean Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation¡¯¡­ besides, we <em>can¡¯t afford</em> to buy from anyone else...YOU SIGNED OVER THE ENTIRE FUCKING TREASURY!!!¡±

    ¡°Look,¡± the Gvortan councilor said, trying to think fast. ¡°This is clearly some sort of stupid joke. There is no way this will hold up and even the idiot Baleel have to know it. Karashel has always been problematic. We just need to lean on the ambassador, have their state department draft a new agreement. I¡¯ll just¡ª¡°

    ¡°NO!!!¡± the ambassador shouted. ¡°You¡¯ve done quite enough. <em>You</em> are going to take this over to the Judiciary and get try to get this dealt with! I¡¯ll contact the Baleean ambassador and see what they are <em>actually</em> after and see if I can fix this.¡±

    ¡°With all due respect, ambassador,¡± the Gvortan councilor huffed, ¡°I am <em>still</em> our councilor and <em>I</em>¡ª¡°

    ¡°No, you¡¯re not.¡± the ambassador snapped. ¡°You are relieved of your duties.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± the councilor shouted, ¡°You can¡¯t do that!¡±

    ¡°You have already <em>clearly</em> demonstrated that you have absolutely no idea what can and can¡¯t be done!¡± the ambassador hissed. ¡°It is within my authority to do so, pending an emergency session of the Senate. You <em>should</em> know that. If you don¡¯t, look it up.¡±

    The ambassador, with great effort and many deep breaths, stopped trying to break free of the increasing number of aides that were restraining him.

    ¡°I am assuming your duties until a suitable recement is nominated and approved,¡± the ambassador said with enforced calm. ¡°Don¡¯t even bother trying to call your friends back home because you don¡¯t have <em>any!</em> In fact,¡± the ambassador snarled, ¡°You might not want to go back home at all.¡±

    Nemat, the former Gvortan councilor just stood there in shock.

    ¡°Ambassador...¡±

    ¡°The ONLY reason why I¡¯m trusting you with going to the Judiciary office is that you have ¡®cultivated¡¯ contacts over there and obtained favors <em>that you will use to fix this!</em>¡± the ambassador hissed, ¡°Because fixing this is the <em>only</em> way you can ever return home without being <em>killed!¡±</em>

    ¡°Ambassador¡­ I...¡±

    <strong>¡°GO!!!¡±</strong>

    Former Councilor Nemat ran from the room.

    The Gvortan ambassador opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out a titanium sk with an oddly shaped hose attached to the top.

    He put the hose deep into an opening in his neck and pressed a plunger.

    <em>Ffffffffffftttttttttttt</em>

    He inhaled deeply and exhaled, a faint silver grey mist escaping from the sides of his throat.

    His aides looked at each other anxiously.

    ¡°Got something to say?¡± the ambassador snarled.

    ¡°No¡­ ambassador...¡±

    ¡°Now get out of here,¡± the ambassador snapped. ¡°I would like some privacy when I lick a Baleel¡¯s palps.¡±

    ***

    Two bale huddled together in the break room of their embassy whispering and giggling (amon urrence among the baleel of any gender).

    ¡°Have you seen the new ambassador?¡± a light green bale giggled.

    ¡°Have I!¡± the other one, an exoticvender beauty giggled back, ¡°He¡¯s <em>dreamy!¡±</em>

    ¡°And so much fun!¡± the green one giggled, ¡°He¡¯s always singing and dancing. It¡¯s so <em>cute!¡±</em>

    ¡°I love that little wiggle he makes!¡± thevender one gushed. ¡°And that little song¡­ How does it go? ¡®Goo Ba Ba... Oh Wee Wee¡¯? It sounds so nice! Have you ever heard it before?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± the green cutie eximed, ¡°Not before he and <em>his staff</em> arrived. All of them sing it, though. I wonder what it¡¯s from.¡±

    ¡°I asked the cute silver skin about it,¡± thevender hottie giggled, ¡°Have you <em>seen</em> him?¡±

    ¡°Have I!¡± the appealingly plump green ¡®slug next door¡¯ type giggled, ¡°I¡¯d slither through a salt t just to taste his trail!¡±

    She leaned in close.

    ¡°It tastes like wildflowers...¡±

    They both squealed and giggled some more.

    ***

    After taking another ¡°st¡± from his inhaler, the Gvortan ambassador called the Baleean Embassy.

    ¡°Good Vibes and Happiness Pizza!¡± an unfamiliar Baleel answered as strange alien music sted in the background. ¡°Have you tried our daily special? Two pizzas and a drink, only the entire worth of your sr system! Order now before the price goes up!¡±

    Oh that wasn¡¯t a good sign...

    ¡°Is this the Baleean Embassy?¡± the ambassador asked, beyond perplexed.

    ¡°Hey!¡± the Baleel shouted, ¡°We still calling this the Embassy?¡±

    ¡°What else are we going to call it, silly-wiggle?¡± a voice giggled from off screen.

    ¡°I am the <em>Gvortan Ambassador</em>!¡± the ambassador said forcefully, ¡°and I demand to see¡ª¡°

    ¡°Hang on,¡± the Baleel said, <em>interrupting him</em>, ¡°This is the good part!¡±

    The strange Baleel started violently bouncing as the strange alien music reached a fever pitch.

    ¡°Fuck you I won¡¯t do what you tell me!¡± the Baleel shouted, ¡°Fuck you I won¡¯t do what you tell me Fuck you I won¡¯t do what you tell me Fuck you I won¡¯t do what you tell me Fuck you I won¡¯t do what you tell me Fuck you I won¡¯t do what you tell me...Motherfucka¡­.¡±

    The Gvortan ambassador just sat there,pletely in shock. This was <em>beyond</em> unprofessional! This creature was just convulsing and shouting in some strange alien soundingnguage.

    He activated his trantor¡­

    <em>Oh dear...</em> the ambassador just stared at the constant string of tranted <em>Old Terran ¡°English¡±???</em> scrolling across his screen.

    He was no longer even capable of being angry. He was just¡­ confused¡­

    He was so confused that he let the next track start, staring in horrified fascination at the text.

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± the Baleel said after a moment, ¡°You wanted something, ws?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± the ambassador said, collecting himself. ¡°I demand to speak to the Baleean Ambassador!¡±

    ¡°Oh hang on!¡± the strange Baleel said happily. ¡°I¡¯ll go get him! One second...¡±

    He got up and wiggled off.

    He then wiggled back into frame.

    ¡°Ambassador Ugabbalen here,¡± the Baleel grinned, ¡°What can <em>I</em> do for <em>you?¡±</em>

    ¡°What?¡± the Gvortan ambassador blurted in surprise. ¡°Where is Ambassador Marsamen?¡±

    ¡°Retired,¡± the Baleel replied with that Baleel cheer, ¡°Ambassador Marsamen is a great squirm, don¡¯t get me wrong, he really is, but it was decided that his¡­ constitution¡­ wasn¡¯t suitable for what representing the Balen State and the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation will require in the days ahead.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re his recement?!?¡±

    ¡°Jellybean,¡± the Baleel bubble-chuckled, ¡°I¡¯m as shocked as you are! There I was enjoying retirement and then this freakin¡¯ limo pulls up and this <em>hottie</em> just <em>oozes</em> out of it, <em>slides</em> up and says, ¡®You are needed,e with me.¡¯¡­ well¡­ Needless to say I beat her to the limo!¡±

    The Gvortan ambassador just stared at his screen in horror.

    ¡°Only to find out that I was made the ambassador,¡± the Baleel snot-snorted, ¡°What a letdown!¡±

    The Gvortan just sat there in speechless horror.

    ¡°So, yeah...¡± the Baleel shrugged, ¡°New management¡­ Funny word that... <em>management</em>¡­¡±

    The Baleean ambassador smirked.

    ¡°Ah¡­ Yes¡­ Well...¡± the Gvortan said desperately trying to get on top of this situation, ¡°Yes¡­ I wish to speak to you concerning the trade agreement that was signed¡ª¡°

    The Baleel startedughing.

    ¡°I can¡¯t <em>BELIEVE</em> you pickles signed that!¡± he chortled sending slime bubbling up out of his breath hole, ¡°(cough¡­ cough)¡­ I owe Karashel fifty credits!¡­ speaking of hotties¡­ Daaaamn¡­ and quite the pea upstairs too! Gotta love that!¡±

    The ambassador leaned in towards the screen.

    ¡°I¡¯m totally going for it,¡± the ¡°ambassador¡± whispered, ¡°I have this thing for those ¡®Angels on the outside, Devourers on the inside¡¯ types¡­ and let me TELL you¡­ She is the most DEVOURER of any ¡®devourer¡¯ I have ever MET¡­ Wow!¡±

    The Baleean ¡°ambassador¡± snickered.

    ¡°But you guys know all about that don¡¯t you?¡±

    The Gvortan ambassador bristled, his chitin squeaking with anger. A fucking¡­ <em>Baleel</em> was <emughing</em> at him.

    He finally got his rage back.

    ¡°You can¡¯t possibly believe that this sick joke of an ¡®agreement¡¯ will possibly hold up!¡± the Gvortan said forcefully.

    ¡°Like I said, I didn¡¯t possibly believe that you would <em>sign</em> it in the first ce,¡± the Baleel snickered, ¡°But, Karashel said that you would and she was right. She also said that it <em>will</em> go through¡­ so¡­ I guess I¡¯m gonna believe that as well.¡±

    The Baleean ambassador smiled that happy Baleean smile.

    ¡°See, we Baleel aren¡¯t that bright,¡± he said cheerfully, ¡°But we are <em>just</em> smart enough to know when someone is smarter and Karashel¡­ now that little wiggle is <em>smart</em>. I am <em>not</em> losing another fifty to her. So¡­ I guess we¡¯ll see, huh?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s drop the pretense,¡± the Gvortan hissed, ¡°and you can drop the whole¡­ whatever act that is. If you were appointed ambassador you clearly are capable of understanding simple logic as much as any Baleel can be.¡±

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Ugabbalen chirped happily, ¡°High praise! Thank you!¡±

    ¡°You can either pursue this foolish agreement that your Councilor inappropriately coerced,¡± the Gvortan said firmly, ¡°and be party to her tant extortion, <em>or</em> you can put forward an <em>actual</em> agreement that won¡¯t beughed out of court.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m feeling kind of foolish today,¡± Ambassador Ugabbalen replied with a Balen giggle.

    ¡°Oh drop it,¡± the Gvortan snapped. ¡°What do you <em>really</em> want?¡±

    ¡°I want you to read our bible,¡± the ambassador smiled.

    ¡°Sorry?¡±

    ¡°The second book of ages, chapter two,¡± the Baleel smiled, ¡°It will tell you <em>exactly</em> what <em>I</em> want. See, we were enved once before¡­ It tells you what happens next. If you have <em>any</em> questions after that, feel free to call again.¡±

    The connection went dead.

    ***

    Former Gvortan Councilor Nemat shook with rage.

    ¡°What do you mean he¡¯s not taking any visitors?!?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Councilor, Mister Kvyot-Awk is currently ¡®engaged¡¯,¡± a pleasantly dressed Marr chittered anxiously as it sat behind a desk outside his office. ¡°He and many others are involved in a conference call at the moment.¡±

    ¡°Well tell him that it¡¯s <em>me</em>!¡± Nemat shouted.

    The Marr¡¯s nictating membranes slid over itsrge eyes. They were soon covered by a shes and glowing lights from the matrix of micro holographic emitters embedded into their surface, a body modification that was near universal among its people. The geometry of their eyes was perfect for it, so much so that ipatibility with the imnts was considered a tragic disability.

    It chuffed, its wide air filters causing the fine hair covering the back of its head to flutter. It truly disliked Councilor Nemat. He was a most disagreeable fellow and quite offensive to the Marr¡¯s inherently polite nature.

    Another thing that the Marr found disagreeable was delivering bad news, not exactly the best feature for someone¡¯s secretary as many avoid doing it altogether.

    It was a trade off. Their amazing politeness and nearly universal augmented reality made them excellent administrative support and clerical staff but one really had to know how to read them and understand their nguage¡¯. A cheerful good morning followed by the innocuous statement that you have messages from your spouse meant, ¡°Good morning, you have message from your spouse.¡± An innocuous statement that you have a message from your wife <em>without</em> a cheerful greeting meant something else <em>entirely.</em>

    A Marr calling you on yourmunicator politely informing you that your spouse is trying to get in touch with you and then abruptly hanging up? Yeah¡­ That¡¯s bad. Call home NOW!!!

    ¡°Mister Kvyot-Awk <em>is</em> currently involved in a conference call,¡± the Marr said with clipped professional tone. ¡°One that he cannot disengage from.¡±

    ¡°This is URGENT!¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡± the Marr chuffed again, ¡°I am <em>aware</em> of your situation¡­ as is Mister Kvyot-Awk¡­ (chuff)¡­¡±

    ¡°You are?¡±

    ¡°(chuff)¡­ It is the reason for the conference call (ufortable fidget)¡­ You will be contacted as soon as it ispleted or if you would prefer you can wait with the others¡­ (chuff)¡±

    ¡°The others?¡± Nemat asked, fear starting to seep into his voice.

    The Marr chuffed again. It <em>hated</em> this.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­¡± it said sounding very unsure of itself, ¡°I¡¯m terribly (chuff)¡­¡±

    It shivered.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure it won¡¯t be much longer,¡± the Marr said, its professionalism restored. ¡°If you wish you can wait in conference room 136 where Mister Kvyot-Awk or the appropriate individual will address you all after the conclusion of the call.¡±

    A small white polymer sphere popped out of a charging station behind the Marr and started glowing.

    ¡°Please follow the guide to conference room 136.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want ¡®the appropriate individual¡¯,¡± Nemat hissed, ¡°I <em>demand</em> to speak with Mister Kyvot-Awk!¡±

    ¡°I will be certain to ry that¡­ Mister Nemat.¡± the Marr replied. ¡°You can wait for ¡®him¡¯ in conference room 136. Please follow the guide.¡±

    <em>Mister Nemat</em> It hit Nemat like a kick to the mid-segment.

    ¡°What about Miz Glovvunnxocx?¡± Nemat asked urgently.

    ¡°Sir,¡± the Marr replied, ¡°<em>Anyone</em> who can help you with your¡­ situation¡­ is in that conference call. Please follow the guide¡­ Please...¡±

    Not knowing what else to do, Nemat started following the glowing drone.

    ***

    As soon as the door to conference room 136 opened, Councilor Nemat¡¯s ever increasing sense of dread turned to a sick icy chill.

    He had walked into rooms like that before but never here.

    It was usually in a hospital¡­ Thest time was when his mother passed away.

    He recognized many of the races present, solid ¡®powerful¡¯ ones, some staring out of the windows, others wandering about aimlessly, most just sitting there stunned and exhausted.

    ¡°Honey, listen carefully...¡± he heard a richly dressed Davrill quietly but urgently say into his phone, ¡°Get a crystal and go to the bank¡­¡±

    Looking about he saw Councilor Una perched on a window ledge, also whispering into her phone.

    Nemat didn¡¯t fail to notice that it wasn¡¯t her usual nice one. It was a cheap model easily purchased from vending kiosks all over the city.

    As soon as she saw him she snapped the phone closed.

    He walked over.

    ¡°Councilor Una,¡± he said quietly. ¡°Beating me to the snap once again?¡±

    Una just nodded.

    ¡°Where is Councilor Ty?¡± Nemat asked, ¡°The Molovnkt signed an agreement as well.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Una replied.

    ¡°Perhaps he has been fired as well,¡± Nemat sighed.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been <em>fired</em>?¡± Una whispered, ¡°Can they do that?¡±

    ¡°The ambassador seems to think so,¡± Nemat replied, ¡°He¡¯s probably right.¡±

    ¡°I DON¡¯T CARE ABOUT KABL17T!¡± the OooOkt councilor shouted into his phone, ¡°DON¡¯T WASTE PRECIOUS TIME DENYING IT! YOU MIGHT BE A CHEATING HARLOT BUT YOU ARE STILL MY WIFE AND I CAN ONLY ASSUME LOVE OUR OFFSPRING! IS THAT CORRECT OR HAS MY ENTIRE LIFE BEEN FOR NOTHING? I NEED YOU TO SHUT ALL OF YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN!!!¡±

    The entire room fell silent and all eyes, ears, antennae, and other primary sensory organs were now directed at the OooOkt.

    He didn¡¯t care.

    ¡°Now listen,¡± he said more quietly as he turned away from the group, ¡°Kabl17t¡­ Is he young and vital?¡­ <em>I don¡¯t care just answer the question</em>¡­ Does he have a gun?¡­ Great¡­ You can bring him too¡­ Look¡­ SHUT¡­ shut up and <em>listen</em>... if he actually cares about you, has a weapon, and knows how to use it he¡¯s my best friend in the whole gxy right now¡­ Get him and then go <em>immediately</em> to the creche and grab our spawn, even the stupid one¡­ <em>There is no time!</em> Start moving¡­ Quite literally the end of the world¡­ <em>shut up and start moving!</em> I¡¯ll exin once you are in motion¡­ We don¡¯t¡­ <em>fine</em>¡­ I¡¯ve known for a while and haven¡¯t decided what I was going to do about it, he passed the security screening I had illegally run on him so I wasn¡¯t worried about you, my property, or most importantly my spawn, and to be perfectly honest I¡¯m in no position to condemn you¡­ I honestly don¡¯t think you are in any position to condemn me either and this is NOT the time!¡­ Yes, mistakes have been made but TRUST me the mistakes we are discussing are NOT my biggest concern right now. NO! Don¡¯t break it off with him! You and the spawn are going to need him! Bring him! All I care about is my spawn. You and I can divide whatever we can salvage or we can stay together and introduce our lovers. Maybe they will hit it off¡­ I¡­ I love our spawn¡­ Do you love our spawn?¡­ That¡¯s all I need to hear¡­ We will figure out the rest once I get all of you safe¡­ Now get a stylus...¡±

    The floodgates opened¡­

    The room went from stunned stupor to a frenzy of activity as everyone started desperately calling everyone from family to brokers to bankers¡­

    Most called family.

    Nemat looked over at Una.

    ¡°E-excuse me.¡±

    Una simply nodded.

    Nemat rushed over to a corner and pulled out a tablet.

    The door opened and the room fell silent as Olvann-Ulk, the chief legal counsel for the Federation entered along with two Threen security guards.

    ¡°Gentlebeings,¡± he said grimly, ¡°Thank you for waiting.¡±

    He paused.

    ¡°I do have some information for those who have signed what we are unofficially calling ¡®The Balen Contract¡¯, however...¡±

    He red at Councilor Una.

    ¡°This briefing is <em>solely</em> for those affected. Councilor Una, would you please depart.¡±

    The room gasped.

    ¡°U-Una?¡± Nemat asked, his voice rattling.

    Una set her tiny jaw, her three eyes hard.

    ¡°Sorry, Nemat,¡± she said as she reached into her pocket, pulling out a cloth armband. ¡°but my duty is to my people.¡±

    She slid the red armband, embroidered with a gold hammer and sickle up her little arm.

    She hopped off the window ledge and glided to the floor as everyone in the room red at her.

    Nemat let out a shuddering hiss. It all made sense now! <em>She</em> was the one who ¡°broke¡± first, setting everything into motion...

    <em>Una was working with them the whole time!</em>

    <em>¡±You betrayed us!¡±</em> Nemat shouted. <em>¡±I trusted you!¡±</em>

    ¡°No, Nemat,¡± Una replied with a tiny little sigh, ¡°You trusted the power you had over us. I had an opportunity to secure a fate different than yours and I took it. You would have done the same.¡±

    Una narrowed her eyes.

    ¡°I wish it hadn¡¯te to this, Nemat,¡± she said, ¡°But you and everyone in this room are the ones ultimately responsible for what happened, and everything that will follow.¡±

    ¡°And what will you do now?¡± Nemat demanded, ¡°Without us you have <em>nothing</em>!¡±

    Una made a tiny snort.

    ¡°Thank you, Nemat,¡± she said with a little smirk, ¡°I was feeling really badly about what is about to happen to you. You just reminded me why I had to do what I did. Good-bye, Nemat.¡±

    Raising herself to her full diminutive height, Una strode from the room.

    Olvann-Ulk red at the tiny Javv as she walked away, one of his guards opening the door for her.

    Once she left, he turned back to the room.

    ¡°I know you all have significant concerns about the agreements you all signed and the manner in which they were presented,¡± the old Kreneel said. ¡°We have carefully reviewed the situation and, regrettably, both the agreement and the manner in which it was signed are, in fact, valid and the agreements are binding.¡±

    The room exploded in anguished howls, screeches, buzzes, and screams.

    ¡°Please¡­ Please...¡± the Kreneel said, trying to speak over the din. ¡°I know you all have questions.¡±

    ¡°Questions?!?¡± Nemat shouted. ¡°Questions?!? <em>How</em> can this be legal? This isn¡¯t an agreement! This is extortion and¡­ and¡­¡± he spluttered, ¡°There is <em>no way</em> any of us could sign away our sovereignty, <em>our entire species</em> like this!¡±

    Olvann-Ulk sighed.

    ¡°I would like to remind everyone here that the ultimate responsibility for the terms in a trade agreement lies with the parties signing that agreement. Regardless of how it is presented, everyone has the duty to review what they sign and the ultimate decision whether or not to sign lies with the person holding the sigil. None of you were illegallypelled to sign. All of you could have refused.¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t have a choice!¡± a small reptilian screeched, ¡°We faced the loss of over seventy percent of our food supply!¡±

    ¡°The responsibility for structuring your economies also lies with the member systems, not the Federation nor any of your trading partners. While it is regrettable that you found yourself in that position that dynamic is one that was created by your people.¡±

    The room once again broke out in shouting.

    ¡°Gentlebeings!¡± Olvann-Ulk shouted. ¡°Decorum! Please!¡±

    ¡°How can you stand there calling for Decorum?¡± arge amphibian-like being shouted, ¡°This so called ¡®agreement¡¯ is nothing less than <em>criminal</em>! It is without precedent or foundation! It is <em>impossible</em> for the things within it to be remotely within the scope of a trade agreement! This is¡­ This is an <em>unconditional surrender</em> We didn¡¯t even do this to thes we <em>conquered!</em>¡±

    The room shouted in agreement.

    ¡°Actually,¡± Olvann-Ulk said grimly, ¡°<em>all</em> of it has legal precedent. The individual uses have never been assembled in one document before nor have the exact terms ever been this¡­ severe¡­ but all of it is firmly grounded in Federation tradew and all of it has very well established precedents.¡±

    ¡°Lies!¡± Nemat screamed, ¡°Tell me, where doespelling us to institutews over <em>our citizens</em> in direct vition of our <em>own constitution</em> have precedent!¡±

    ¡°I think some of your associates in this room can answer that for you,¡± the Kreneel replied, ¡°It has been done shortly after first-contact during initial negotiations <em>and</em> happens quite often as a result of stewardship or management and in the enforcement of debt collections. I¡¯m a bit frustrated, Nemat, considering you privately inquired about the possibilities of exactly what you are now protesting regarding your imminent action against the Baleel. In case you haven¡¯t realized,¡± Olvann-Ulk said with a bit of irritation, ¡°That very same push by <em>your people</em> is what set this whole chain of events into action.¡±

    The room filled with angry, hateful noises as everyone turned to face Nemat.

    ¡°I will now share with all of you some of the¡­ realities¡­ behind the decisions that were made today,¡± Olvann-Ulk said as dispassionately as he could, ¡°I do this so that you may all not waste what little precious time you have left nor risk your people¡¯s welfare or very lives unnecessarily. Make no mistake,¡± he said firmly, ¡°the situation in which you all find yourselves is dire andpletely inescapable at this point. Please pay very careful attention.¡±

    Olvann-Ulk took a deep breath and steeled himself.

    ¡°Our Federation is at its heart a <em>trade</em> association. Contracts between member species form the very <em>structure</em> of the systems that keep it intact. <em>Trust</em> in those agreements is <em>essential</em> to preserve the safety and stability of the Federation <em>as a whole</em>¡­ Unfortunately, some of these agreements have been¡­ less than equitable¡­ especially at the expense of some of the newer or less advanced members. Nobody here can with any shred of honesty deny that.¡±

    The Kreneel had to wait until yet another round of shouting died down.

    ¡°This has caused no small amount of resentment among the¡­ less prosperous¡­ members. The upheavals of the past few years starting with the Republic war, the increased mandatory defense contributions, and now the unfortunate situation with the humans have pushed many of them to the breaking point. This has created a¡­ delicate situation¡­ where many systems are beginning to be increasingly dissatisfied with the Federation as a whole. Among those are the Baleel, the Loo, the Rill, the Yuii, and the Besl, the founding mittee¡¯ of what is called the ¡®Communalist Party¡¯. This party, most notably the Baleel, were the ones behind the sessful legal argument that allowed the breaking of over one hundred different trade agreements and counting.¡±

    Olvann-Ulk nced down at his tablet.

    ¡°They were initially discounted as yet another ¡®club¡¯, like so many of the small caucuses and cliques that are born and die every week¡­ However¡­ They have recentlye under increasing scrutiny as their tform and rhetoric has be increasingly¡­ unusual¡­ They style themselves as munalist¡¯ or even munist¡¯ but they are <em>neither</em>...¡±

    Olvann-Ulk clicked his beak angrily.

    ¡°They are in fact, <em>anarchists</em>! They have no desire to ¡®free¡¯ anyone. They seek to attack the Federation, the entity that they me for their misfortunes. And that, gentlebeings, is what this ¡®Baleean Contract¡¯ is, an attack.¡±

    ¡°Of course it is!¡± the OooOkt councilor yelled, looking up from the tablet he had been furiously fiddling with for the first time, ¡°Look at what they are doing to us!¡±

    ¡°You are mistaken,¡± Olvann-Ulk replied, ¡°It isn¡¯t an attack against you. You are allpletely irrelevant to them. Once they were able to break the unfavorable contracts with you, they were <em>done</em> with you. They have no desire to feed any of you, at any price. They would actually prefer if you were the ¡®first of us to fall¡¯.¡±

    There was no shouting this time, only shocked muttering.

    ¡°There have also been more serious usations concerning this mittee¡¯ and you will no doubt hear of them if you haven¡¯t already,¡± Olvann-Ulk said, ¡°I cannotment on this further than a full investigation <em>is</em> being undertaken and all of them are under very close scrutiny. No charges are pending <em>at this time</em> but if <em>anything</em>es to light you can be assured that we <em>will</em> pursue any and all relevant crimes to the fullest extent of thew. These people are dangerous, however, we must follow due process, especially during these sensitive times. However, I must inform all of you that even <em>if</em> those usations are <em>entirely true</em> it in <em>no way</em> changes the validity of the contracts that you all signed on behalf of your systems. Even if the agreements were signed with traitors, the agreements are not in and of themselves treasonous and bothw and precedent are quite clear that a councilor, even if guilty of other crimes, can still represent their people until arrest as long as those agreements aren¡¯t directly connected to a crime. The breaking of your original contracts is, sadly, valid and the agreements that you signed as a result of that are also valid.¡±

    Olvann-Ulk flicked his finger across his tablet scrolling the screen.

    ¡°Concerning the ¡®attack¡¯ I mentioned previously,¡± he said seething with anger, ¡°It wasn¡¯t directed at you, it was directed at the <em>Federation itself</em>. There is <em>reason</em> why the agreements are so long and why sometimes several uses were used where one would have been sufficient if ¡®more efficiently¡¯ written¡­ Very very little in the ¡®Baleean contract¡¯ is original. In fact, the vast majority of it as been <em>cut and pasted</em> word for word from <em>millions of trade agreements</em> gentlebeings¡­ <em>millions</em>¡­ Somehow they were able to examine every single trade agreement since the founding of the Federation and selected the uses that have the most relevance, the ones forming the backbone of some of thergest and most important agreements that are currently in effect. In other cases, the uses are ones that could be considered the most egregious or the ones that most often affect ¡®their people¡¯ as if they truly have any. Others are the ones most used by the most¡­ influential¡­ species. Other uses are at the very heart of stewardship, bankruptcy, and management practices of those systems who require the most support...¡±

    Olvann-Ulk made a growling hiss despite himself.

    ¡°They were <em>counting</em> on one of you using¡­ undue influence¡­ to get the entire contract dered invalid. Had that happened, it would have opened up <em>hundreds of thousands</em> of agreements to legal attack, overwhelming the courts, and further destabilizing the Federation as a whole including foundational agreements tied to the very maintenance of the Federation itself. The Baleel and the others have already assembled substantial legal resources and intend upon using the additional resources they¡­ obtain¡­ from your systems to further increase their capacity. Any use that we toss out of this agreement will expose numerous, far more¡­ essential¡­ agreements to their legal mercenaries. Quite simply put, the Federation had to choose between honoring the principles upon which it operates and continues to operate or make a dangerous exception that jeopardizes countless far more rational agreements, ones necessary to keep the Federation stable during these times.¡±

    ¡°You mean we are just going to be ¡®sacrificed¡¯?!?¡± someone yelled.

    ¡°In one word,¡± Olvann-Ulk said dispassionately, ¡°yes. Half a dozen systems who voluntarily entered into ruinous agreements under their own free will versus the entire Federation and the faith in the principles and institutions it upholds? I¡¯m sorry, gentlebeings. Besides, many of these uses are copied directly from the agreements you imposed on the mittee¡¯. As Councilor Una said, you brought this upon yourselves.¡±

    The room erupted into screams and shouting that continued until one of the guards fired his ster into the air.

    ¡°I am unsure if you have had time to fully review what you have signed,¡± Olvann-Ulk said grimly, ¡°We have taken the liberty of summarizing conditions under which you will now have to operate and the timelines under which those changes will take ce. I must caution you. Buried in all of those thousands of pages are some <em>very</em> unpleasant consequences should any of you threaten or engage in hostilities and should <em>any</em> of themittee happen to die for any reason their funeral celebrations and memorial funds are some of the worst individual uses in this entire document. <em>Millions</em> of your people will likely die as a result of the <em>mourning of period</em> that will involving a <em>shipping holiday</em>. Pray for their continued health. I cannot stress this enough. In addition the Kalent have issued a statement saying that they will not countenance another civil war at this time. Any attempt at fighting your way out of this will not seed and will only result in you getting starved into submission.¡±

    ¡°What are we going to do?!?¡± someone howled.

    ¡°My rmendation is to try to negotiate,¡± Olvann-Ulk replied, ¡°We believe they were counting on the contract getting thrown out, not actually administrating your systems. Maybe try to work something out with them? Remember, that ¡®inability to pay¡¯ works both ways. You havewyers as well use them. However, once again, I must stress that this ¡®battle¡¯ is a legal and diplomatic one, at least for now. Any attempt to take it out of that arena has been anticipated by your ¡®foes¡¯ and both that and the overall situation in the Federation means that the Federation itself would be disinclined to allow another armed conflict to break out. The Kalent were quite clear about this.¡±

    Olvann-Ulk put his tablet back into the carrier in his robes.

    ¡°May the creators and whatever Gods that may exist protect you in the days toe.¡±

    Olvann-Ulk sighed and exited the silent room.

    ***

    The Gvortan ambassador sat in front of his monitor with wide horrified eyes.

    <em>And long did Father of the Baleel slumber. When he awoke he said, "I guess we should kill them."</em>

    <em>And thus the sentence was passed. The Devourer and all of his children were condemned to death. Greatly were the people of the Devouring one perplexed, for death came upon them silently and they were unaware of its approach until the strength bled from their limbs and their children perished in the arms of their mothers, their mothers perishing in the arms of their husbands.</em>

    <em>The Devourermanded great sacrifices to their Gods to try to gain their aid but no aid could save them. Many Baleel were ughtered on the altars of the obscene ones but they perished rejoicing in their hearts for they knew that even though they would die, so too would the ones who had enved them and dined on their flesh and delighted in their suffering.</em>

    <em>One by one all of the Devourer¡¯s children died, wailing helplessly in the night, never knowing how they were defeated. One by one they died and the Baleel cast off their yokes and wandered the broad streets of the dark ones, delighting in the feel and taste of the rotting flesh of their dominators as their juices spilled from their bloating and rotting bodies.</em>

    <em>One by one all of the monuments, temples, and even the dwellings of the Children of the Devourer were pulled down, the very stones cast into the mire, never to be touched again. One by one all of their cities were pulled down, their ornaments melted and shaped into shiny fun sparkly things for the Children of the Baleel to wear in their fun new hats.</em>

    <em>One by one even the stones of the roadsid by the children of the Baleel were pulled up and cast into the mire so that no trace of the Devourer nor his children remained.</em>

    <em>Then the Father of the Baleel proimed, ¡°That was unpleasant. d that¡¯s over,¡± and there was much agreement. Then, as thest stone of thest road was cast into the mire, everyone had a nice lunch.</em>

    He looked at the time and tried calling Nemat for yet another time, once again going straight to voicemail.

    ¡°Has anyone heard from Nemat yet?¡± he yelled.

    ***

    Nemat looked out over the capital city from the abandoned observation deck atop the parliament building.

    He loveding up here before it became too unsafe, before the madness that threatened to consume everything.

    He pulled out his phone and opened the photo gallery, bringing up a picture of his family.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he said quietly as he pulled a ster out of his coat pocket, ¡°It¡¯s all my fault...¡±

    ***

    Karashel sat in her office sipping a cup of tea.

    ¡°Appreciate you trying to get in there, anyhow,¡± Karashel said to Una who was perched on the back of her chair.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Una sighed. ¡°No problem.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± Karashel said brightly, ¡°Because you asked I did a little checking. We <em>do</em> have some excess avable and <em>can</em> sell the Illipp enough to at least keep the devourer from visiting for a little bit. If they are as ¡®nice¡¯, or at least as useful, as you im, we may even be able to scrape enough between the rest of themittee to give them an actual agreement¡­ provided they are receptive to our principles, of course. Have the Illippean councilor reach out. I would be happy to meet with them.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Una replied quietly

    ¡°Are you ok?¡± Karashel asked, ¡°Something bothering you?¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± Una replied, ¡°I understand why you, why we did what we did. You didn¡¯t have a choice. It¡¯s just that¡­ How are we any different than they were? If anything, we are worse.¡±

    ¡°One very significant difference,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Is that we are now on top and they are on the bottom.¡±

    ¡°You are on top,¡± Una replied, ¡°I¡¯m still exactly where I started. I just changed masters.¡±

    ¡°Not true, Una,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°The Javv are going to prosper greatly and with that prosperity you will be able to start on the very same path that we are starting. Once we reach post scarcity there will be no ¡®top¡¯ and no ¡®bottom¡¯, not just for us but for everyone. I¡¯ve <em>seen</em> it! The Xx have it <em>right now</em>. We can too!... It¡¯s just that we are going to have to¡­ make some sacrifices¡­ to get there. At least this way those ¡®sacrifices¡¯ will neither be the Javv or the Baleel. We have others, others that <em>deserve it</em> to serve that function¡­ and will only gain more as time passes. With enough resources, we will be able to achieve our goal and the entire gxy will benefit. Trillions upon trillions of beings will prosper because of what we do today. Never forget that.¡±

    ¡°In our history,¡± Una replied, ¡°there were some people that sounded exactly like you do right now.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Tell me about them...¡±

 Chapter 175: Karashel and Esau... The Contract

    Chapter 175: Karashel and Esau... The Contract

    <strong>Memorandum: </strong>The Federation Judiciary Branch assessment of the ¡°Baleean Contract.¡±

    <strong>Originator:</strong> Chief Council¡¯s Office

    <strong>Recipient(s):</strong> Those affected by the above contract

    <strong>Distribution:</strong> Restricted, official use only. Please do not distribute to the public

    <strong>Body:</strong>

    We have examined the ¡°Baleean Contract¡± and, after careful and rigorous legal review andparison to all applicable legal precedents, we have prepared this summary/digest for your convenience.

    It in no way supersedes the actual contract, nor does it constitute an official ruling on any of the terms and conditions that now apply to the affected systems. This is simply a brief summary so that you can adequately prepare and take what timely actions as you deem appropriate. It is strongly suggested that you have your own legal teams thoroughly review the agreement, and we will be more than receptive to any possible arguments or challenges to the terms.

    However, we are neither equipped nor inclined to support frivolous ims. Please ensure that your filings have merit.

    We would also like to state thatpliance with the contract does not constitute in and of itself eptance of the terms. Considering the possible consequences, we strongly rmendpliance while you prepare any suits or other legal action.

    It is not within our mandate to give specific legal advice. However, we are allowed to state that the actual uses are quite valid, and most have sessfully been defended in court. Many of the specifics, such as payment amounts, interest and service charges, time limits, and general scope, are beyond precedent and have never been agreed to before in the history of the Federation.

    We would also strongly advise against armed opposition, insurgency, or any violent protests. The contract¡¯s terms and conditions are very explicit in what will transpire should that take ce. In addition, the Federation¡¯s response under such circumstances is quite well documented. We will not tolerate another armed conflict at this time.

    We would also strongly advise against trying to move assets such as ships, currency,modities, etc., which are now the property of the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation out of your systems in an attempt to hide or otherwise deprive the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation of their legal property. This is theft and will be treated as the crime that it is, with all responsible parties facing prosecution.

    The terms are as follows. Each statement is linked to the appropriate sections in your ¡®trade¡¯ agreement.

    <strong>Definitions:</strong>

    The signing party providing agricultural products is hereby designated as ¡°the provider.¡± The signing party purchasing agricultural products is hereby designated as ¡°the customer¡±.

    <strong>Term:</strong> The Baleean Contract is for the length of one decillion standard Federation Years and will be auto-renewed at the provider¡¯s sole discretion. Note: There is no limit to the length of an agreement. Many agreements in the Federation extend into the hundreds or thousands of years. Therefore, as singr as this figure is, it is valid.

    <strong>Products supplied:</strong>

    The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation will provide the goods at the volumes stated in your agreement. The delivery schedule is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. The customer has waived all ims for any and all damages, including loss of life for any shipping dys nned or unnned.

    The customer epts that agricultural products are dependent upon many factors, and should it be inconvenient to supply the agreed-upon quantities that they will hold the provider meless and not liable for any damages or loss of life. The customer also agrees that the contract will be valid regardless of the actual quantities delivered.

    The prices are as stated. However, they are also subject to shipping and handling fees to be determined at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. Their methods of shipping and handling are listed as proprietary and thus are not subject to review by any signing party.

    As of signing the agreement, the customer agrees to the initial shipping and handling fee of 1 decillion credits per year.

    This has been reviewed, and there is no regtion or limit for any fee. As singr as this figure is, any attempt to challenge any fee, no matter how egregious, has repeatedly failed. Any adjustment to this fee is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    <strong>Penalties for non-payment:</strong>

    Interest will be at 100 percent per standard Federation year,pounded hourly. The customer has agreed to any seizure of any and all public or private property by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation in order to reim any losses due to non-payment.

    If the seizure of private ounts, businesses, or property to settle debts is not legal by the customer¡¯s currentws or constitution, legition or constitutional amendment will be immediately enacted to allow said seizures.

    Delivery of goods can and will be suspended until said legition is enacted if it is felt by the provider that this is not being undertaken in a sufficiently timely manner at the sole discretion of the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This extends to all ounts or property of the signing party¡¯s government, including their SDF fleets and civilian shipping. This also extends to any private corporation or individual.

    The exact schedule of seizures, their scope, and the enforcement of said recovery of debts is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    <strong>Note:</strong>

    Please move all shipping to stable orbits IMMEDIATELY. There is very clear precedent when ites to repossession of shipping. If you do not have enough funds in your treasury (as stated in your financial disclosures, which are a matter of public record), then The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation has already requested the manufacturer¡¯s shutdown codes for all vital systems and loss of function of all vital systems including life support can happen at any moment.

    <strong>Note:</strong> Continued use of military or civilian ships owned by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation is piracy and will be treated as such. Considering the current circumstances in which the Federation finds itself, piracy is not advised.

    <strong>Exclusivity:</strong>

    All goods and services to the signing parties and their people will be supplied by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. This extends to all transactions, both inter-system and domestic.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This exclusivity is total. Any exchange of goods and services must be through The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation or licensed representative. This includes bartering.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This extends to anybor provided to another with or withoutpensation.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This extends to gifts.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This extends to lending someone the use of any property somehow not owned by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This extends to any goods or services ¡°gifted¡± to the signing party or any of their people by people or governments not directly affected by the Baleean Contract.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This extends to emergency aid provided by any non-profit organization such as Starshield.

    <strong>Note:</strong> There are several hundred pages devoted to this, and the above is only for your convenience and not exclusive of any other stiptions or examples. Please review in full before attempting something.

    <strong>Note:</strong> Enforcement of the exclusivity agreement is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation, and The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation will be held meless regarding any and all actions rted to the enforcement of the exclusivity use, including damage to private property, which will soon be non-existent unless you can meet the shipping and handling fees, and any loss of life.

    <strong>Note:</strong> Any punitive action taken as a result of vition of the exclusivity use is at the sole discretion of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    <strong>Note:</strong> The customer has explicitly agreed to modification of their ecosystems should it be deemed necessary by The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    <strong>Note:</strong> This is being discussed at the highest level, but there is no prohibition of this at this time. It is strongly rmended that samples of any staple crops be collected and stored in bio-hazard VIII level containment IMMEDIATELY or shipped to another system before your ships are locked down.

    <strong>Note:</strong> Any expenses rted to the enforcement of the exclusivity use or any other use will be born by the signing party and added to the signing party¡¯s debts.

    <strong>Other contracts:</strong>

    Any and all contracts and trade agreements other than the Baleean Contract that are held between the signing parties are voluntarily severed at the sole discretion of the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    Any and all contracts held by the customer and parties other than the provider are voluntarily surrendered to the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. eptance of any and all surrendered contracts and agreements is at the sole discretion of the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    <strong>Political:</strong>

    The customer acknowledges that rampant colonialism is directly responsible for their current situation and acknowledges their role in both what has happened to them and to the Federation as a whole.

    While any debts are owed by the customer to the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation, all Federation-level appointees, including the system¡¯s councilor, will be determined by the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    Note: While outrageous, there is now explicitly forbidding this. Laws regarding the protection of a councilor do not extend to any ¡®hiring and firing¡¯ decision made by their system. This is also under review, but until aw is passed explicitly forbidding this, it seems valid. Please also note that by precedent,ws involving agreements between systems are not retroactive.

    This is a direct vition of the very spirit of the Federation, and any action that does not damage the faith in the Federation or the agreements thatprise it will be undertaken. However, at this time, this is valid.

    The customer acknowledges that the achievement of a ¡®post scarcity¡¯ society by any and all means necessary is the goal of any rational government that truly cares about its people as a whole and not the interests of the most wealthy and powerful. The customermits to the achievement of post scarcity as their primary goal.

    The customer acknowledges that the achievement of post scarcity is one of the primary mission statements of The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation and hereby joins the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition, a cooperative venture with the Communalist Party and ces their trust in the decisions of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition.

    All decisions concerning post scarcity take precedence over all other concerns. The customer will defer to the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition regarding any and all legal decisions, legition, and the nationalization, centralization, and distribution of goods and services are concerned.

    The customer acknowledges that the achievement of post scarcity is a long-term process and a difficult one. However, the customer has, for themon good of their people,mitted themselves to this ¡°noble¡± goal.

    The customer acknowledges that this may result in short-term difficulties but epts that burden willingly, knowing that any sacrifices, including loss of life, are part of the long and difficult road to achieving the very possible reality of true post scarcity. The Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation and the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition will be held meless for these tragic but necessary sacrifices for the greater good.

    The customer epts the guidance and leadership of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition and is happy to be a part of their vision for the future.

    Enforcement of these derations and enforcement of membership in the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition is at the sole discretion of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition. The customer holds the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition meless for any damage to private, corporate, or state owned property and any and all injury or loss of life as a result of the just enforcement of the will and mandates of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition including alteration of their environment or ecosystem.

    <strong>Currency:</strong>

    Members of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition agree to epting payment via ¡°chits¡±, specifically the Resource Allocation Credit (rac). These have an initial value of one credit each and represent one ¡°share¡± of the collective resources and production of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition and their member states. They can be exchanged on a one-to-one basis for a Federation credit solely at the discretion of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition or the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation.

    ¡°Rac¡¯s¡± can be exchanged for any good or service provided by the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation or the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition and will be considered ¡°legal tender¡± by both organizations.

    <strong>Note:</strong> There is no official exchange rate for rac¡¯s, nor is one nned.

    All Federation credits or other currency will be assumed to be the property of the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation due to outstanding debts owed. Therefore, possession of Federation credits or any other currency or valuables will be considered theft ofpany property and treated as such. It will also be viewed as disloyalty to the dream of post scarcity and will be reported to the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition for possible additional action. Any additional actions taken will be at the sole discretion of the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition.

    <strong>Note:</strong> Any credits, other currency, or valuables can be licensed to an individual for their individual use at the sole discretion of either the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation or the Good Vibes and Happiness for the Future Coalition.

    <strong>Management:</strong>

    Should any signing party be unable to pay any cost or fee, they legally submit to debt management and all conditions and stiptions that entails.

    <strong>Note:</strong> Yes, if you cannot pay the ludicrous shipping and handling fee, you will be entered into management under the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation. This is minorpared to everything else but is also active and effective immediately.

    <strong>Conclusion:</strong>

    All of the above has been rigorously checked, double-checked, and repeatedly challenged by our judicial AI¡¯s and is being carefully examined by our flesh and blood staff. However, no matter how we feel about this, it is valid.

    I strongly encourage everyone affected by this outrage to dedicate what resources you still have at your disposal carefully reviewing each line. Any valid challenge will be carefully considered.

    I also strongly encourage negotiation, both with the Good Vibes and Happiness Coalition, the Good Vibes and Happiness Corporation, any and all signing parties, and any other member state who utilizes the uses that are being abused.

    I also must remind you that the above is simply a summary/digest of the Baleean Contract and may not beplete. Again, it is merely an overview. It is incumbent upon all parties to carefully read each and every line to ensurepliance or look for possible legal vulnerabilities. Just because we have not been able to find them as of yet does not mean that they do not exist.

    Action is already being taken to seize ounts and assets. The Federation Bank has no choice but to freeze all ounts affected pending transfer.

    Action is underway to seizemand codes, shutdown codes, etc. for all vehicles, ships, and mobile assets. Immediate action should be taken to safely park these in appropriate spaces or orbits as applicable.

    ***

    Late at night, G18Balto¡¯s grav sedan pulled to a stop in a rubble-strewn area near what was once Porkie town.

    The OooOkt¡¯ councilor climbed out nervously, his segments heaving with anxiety and fear as he found himself surrounded by a group of heavily armed and armored Z¡¯uush.

    ¡°G18Balto?¡± one of the Z¡¯uush, cradling one of their horrifying sonic sledgehammers, rasped.

    ¡°Y-yes...¡± he stammered, backing towards his sedan. ¡°I¡¯m supposed to be meeting¡­ someone¡­ here.¡±

    ¡°Hi there!¡± a cheerful voice eximed behind him.

    Squealing with shock, he whirled around to find a pink baleel perching on the hood of his sedan.

    ¡°K-Karashel!¡± he stammered, backing towards the Z¡¯uush who chuckle clicked with amusement. Their new boss was an endless source of entertainment.

    ¡°So, did you get your spawn, spouse, and assets to safety?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes¡­ thank you...¡± he stammered, wringing his maniptors.

    ¡°You guys going to split up?¡±

    ¡°W-we a-are going to t-try to work things out¡­¡± he replied, ¡°the events ofte¡­ t-they have shown us what is r-really important.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s wonderful!¡± Karashel enthused. ¡°I do hope it works out for you! And I hear Kai-Valen is a wonderful ce to live!¡±

    He blinked and twitched. He hadn¡¯t told <em>anyone</em> where they were headed.

    ¡°The exchange rate for Imperial credits is pretty good right now as well!¡± she eximed, ¡°Spoiler: liquidate and exchange everything <em>now</em>. I have a suspicion this is about as good as it¡¯s gonna get.¡±

    ¡°T-thank you...¡±

    ¡°You got something for me?¡± Karashel asked, her tone slightly changing.

    ¡°Y-yes¡­ ma¡¯am...¡± he replied as he pulled out a crystal. ¡°T-that¡¯s all of the private correspondence between myself, the Judiciary Department, and t-the others...¡±

    ¡°Why, thank you!¡± Karashel smiled as she epted the crystal. ¡°You got a way off-world?¡±

    ¡°I-I have booked p-passage on¡ª¡°

    ¡°Oooh, bad idea,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Your bosses aren¡¯t going to be happy when you cut and run, and it¡¯s going to be very clear very soon that I turned one of you. You need to <em>disappear</em> right now.¡±

    G18Balto gasped and heaved.

    ¡°Not like that, silly,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°I¡¯m a <em>Baleel</em>. We don¡¯t do stuff like that. I mean, <em>disappear</em> like slip onto a freighter as an undocumented passenger and make a straight, shiny trail right to Kai-Valen.¡±

    ¡°O-oh!¡± he replied.

    ¡°Just so happens that my friends here can make that happen,¡± Karashel purred. ¡°And I¡¯ll even buy this sedan off of you so you can have some pocket money! How much?¡±

    ¡°Y-you can h-have...¡±

    ¡°Nonsense!¡± she giggle bubbled. ¡°This is a Cal-Vhelk Azure Grand Regatta! I even like the color! I¡¯m prepared to offer you full starbook value.¡±

    ¡°T-that is v-very generous¡­ t-thank you.¡±

    ¡°Just so happens I¡¯vee into <em>just a little bit</em> of money,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°And I want a car even fancier than Caw¡¯s!¡±

    A quick transactionter and G18Balto crawl scuttled into a white cargo van.

    ¡°Bye!¡± Karashel called out as the van rolled into the night. ¡°Have a good life!¡±

    She looked over at one of the Z¡¯uush.

    ¡°I like him,¡± she said, crinkling her eyes happily. ¡°I hope it works out with his wife!¡±

    ¡°So why¡¯d you do it?¡± the scarred Z¡¯uush asked.

    ¡°Do what?¡±

    ¡°Hook that guy up like that? A lotta people would have just left him out to dry.¡±

    ¡°Always take care of people when you can,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°It¡¯s not just nice. It¡¯s smart. He turned, and I took care of him and his family, even got him out of the Federation. The next person I want to flip is going to remember that. Heck, somebody I don¡¯t even know can be flipped is going to know that. As of now, I am unofficially the one and only way out of the snare. That¡¯s valuable.¡±

    She oozed into the sedan.

    ¡°For example,¡± she said excitedly, ¡°do you know <em>how long</em> the wait list for one of these <em>is</em>? And look! The mods for his body type are <em>just right!</em><em>I love it!!!¡±</em>

    ¡°Did you target him because of his <em>car</em>?¡±

    ¡°Mmmmmaybe...¡±

 Chapter 176: Pillow Talk and Karashels Next Fun Surprise

    Chapter 176: Pillow Talk and Karashel''s Next Fun Surprise

    Gasping, Karashel flooped over and rolled off of Ugabbalen, the new Balen "ambassador".

    She pulled out her neural link and looked at it with delight.

    "How did we not think of doing it with these before!" she eximed happily.

    "I know, right?" Ugabbalen smiled as he flipped back over and slid up next to her. "I don''t know what''s better, the tunes or getting your POV¡­ Wild."

    The pair justy next to each other, "cuddling" for a while.

    "Not that I''mining," Karashel bubbled in his ear, "and I''m not one to examine a blossom''s stem, but why me? <em>You</em> could sessfully bed any Bale you want, and I''m¡­ Well..."

    "Yeah, I <em>am</em> pretty," Ugabbalen chuckled, "and I do have that smooth slithery style..."

    He slid in a little closer.

    "So, yeah, I can pretty muchy who I want," he smiled, "so I did."

    "But why me," Karashel asked, "I''m not¡­ a ''hottie'' like Vbs."

    "You mean thevender temptress?" he snorted, causing a little slime to shoot out, "Please. Oh, she''s cute, but all wiggle and no pea. I like wiggle, but I <em>love</em> peas¡­ And when ites to peas¡­"

    He extended his breathing tube towards Karashel''s ear.

    "You are packing a <em>melon</em>," he whispered, causing Karashel to giggle. "You are easily the smartest Baleel I have ever met. Besides," he smiled, "it''s like they say, a big fish beats a big dick, and you, my big peaed pink darling, just dragged home the biggest fish in Baleean history! It sets a boy''s heart all aflutter."

    He gently stroked her with his rad.

    "Power is sexy," he purred. "Get used to this."

    "Oh," Karashel sighed. "And that''s part of the problem. Not this," she giggled, "this is NOT a problem. But power, wealth¡­ and all of the corruption thates with it¡­ <em>that''s</em> a problem."

    "What do you mean?"

    "It was easy to get everyone working together when we were broke, desperate, and looking management in the face," Karashel said, "Mmmm¡­ keep doing that¡­ But now that we''ve brought home that fish, everyone will start arguing about how to cook it. Do we fry it, grill it, cut sashimi, make a stew..."

    "A nice problem to have," Ugabbalen smiled.

    "Yeah," Karashel replied, "But what happens when I tell them that we should cut it for bait and use the rest for our garden."

    "¡­ I do see your point..." he replied. "Wait¡­ we are going to use the ''customers'' as <em>bait?"</em>

    "That''s the n," Karashel replied.

    "What the fuck are you fishing for?"

    <em>"The entire Federation,"</em> Karashel purred. "And if you think this little minnow is sexy¡­ Just you fucking wait..."

    "Ooooh..." Ugabbalen purred, "Now that''s hot."

    "Very," Karashel replied, booping him with her sweaty, slime-coated "nose". "But I have to get us from here to there, and it won''t be easy. (sigh) I''m tempted to just go with n B."

    "What''s n B?"

    "Drain the ''customers'' of every single credit they have," Karashel replied, "Spend the year stripping their industrial capacity..."

    She leaned in close.

    "And then void the contract for inability to pay when they can''t meet the shipping and handling fees next year, leaving thempletely destitute, robbed of any real industrial capacity, and with no food."

    Ugabbalen looked at her with a mixture of awe, arousal, and absolute horror.

    "Billions would die!"

    Karashel shrugged.

    "Probably not," she replied, "We dump a few months of food on them as a going away present, and then they are the Federation''s problem, just like during the Republic War. The Gvorta and the rest are then subjected to the same side of the Federation we were, probably going into management, and spend the rest of the time the Federation exists as just another ''third world'' state¡­ which is about ten years. And they would then die with everyone else."

    "What?!?"

    "The Collective," Karashel replied, "it''s estimated that their next big horde will be unleashed around that time. It will be even worse than the one that hit the Empire. If the Federation can''t crush the Humans, they won''t have a hope in all of the Hells there are against them. The whole Federation is going right into the Devourer''s tummy¡­ Except for the part behind the line when the Empire and Republic decide to get involved, which they will. They will want the battlefield to be us, not them. However, they will let the Federation''s fleet soften up the Collective first."

    Karashel snuggled Ugabbalen

    "Win or lose," she purred, "the Federation <em>dies.</em> Either the Collective wins and it''s extinction, or the Empire and Republic win, and they take the opportunity to eliminate the Federation once and for all¡­ To be honest, I wouldn''t mind that, except for where we are located. If we weren''t so unfortunate in our cement, I would have just sprung the first trap, forced the Gvorta to cut us loose, and made us a few credits in the bargain. There wouldn''t be any need for the rest of this bullshit. The Federation would go bye-bye all on its own, and we would either be Imperial subjects, not a bad thing to be, or we would be Republic citizens, my personal choice."

    Ugabbalen just sat there,pletely stunned.

    "But, the Devourer isn''t that kind," Karashel snickered, "He''s still a bit annoyed with us, actually. So instead of just letting nature run its course, we have to do something¡­ I have to do something."

    "W-what are we going to do?"

    "Fight," Karashel smiled. "We have roughly ten years to get the Baleean system and the Baleean people ready to stand against the Collective or ready to run like hell when they hit. For that, we need <em>money</em>, we need <em>industry</em>, and we need a huge fucking <em>fleet</em>, one big enough to hold our own against the worst threat in the gxy (that we know of) or big enough to carry each and every squirm, wiggle, and jellybean to wherever we wind up next. <em>That''s</em> the real game, Ugabbalen. You''re cleared to know that now."

    Karashel gave him a slimy kiss.

    "Surprise!" she giggled. "Personally, I am NOT inclined to abandon our beautiful world to those bugs, so I have a decade to brew up a kettle of whoop-ass to serve our guests when they arrive."

    Ugabbalen sat up in rm.

    "How can we <em>possibly</em> hope to stand up against the Collective?"

    Karashel chuckled darkly.

    "By making <em>friends</em>," she bubble purred, "and making <em>friends</em> is something I am very, very good at."

    ***

    "We''ve reviewed your proposal," a silver-haired ancient human woman said to Karashel over a small monitor in Karashel''s apartment, not themunications center. "And, while wondering why the <em>hell</em> you would want to do this, we are definitely interested."

    "Super!" Karashel eximed happily.

    "But you have to know," the woman said calmly, "once we get involved, we are <em>involved</em>, and we don''t work for you or anyone else. From our previous conversations, you clearly know our history and our methods. Are you absolutely certain that is what you want?"

    "Yes," Karashel replied, "That is exactly what I want, every single bit of it, and the sooner, the better."

    "Why?"

    "There is a saying that we Baleel and you Humans have, the same almost to the word, ''Absolute power corrupts absolutely''. Even I am not immune. It took less than twenty-four hours before I adjusted my strategy so I would get a nice car out of the deal. What will even I be in a week? A month? No. We not only want you, we <em>need</em> you. The ''customers'' need proper representation and a strong advocate, not only one that will do the job but one that they will <em>trust</em>. It''s one thing for me to say that we won''t starve you to death, and you won''t be ves. It''s entirely another thing for <em>you</em> to say it. For my goals to seed, I need the ''customers'' to cooperate and cooperate enthusiastically. That''s where youe in. The Baleel and the rest of themittee need you, possibly even more."

    "How so?"

    "Absolute power corrupts absolutely. We <em>need</em> checks and bnces. You guys will provide that. One thing that has <em>always</em> torpedoed the (heh) ''dictatorship of the proletariat'' (which this is NOT) is that dictatorships create dictators. We need a pain in the ass strong enough to keep the whole thing in check, one strong enough to keep my ns intact even if I get my pea blown out, which is a <em>distinct</em> possibility. You are hereby invited to set up operations in all Good Vibes and Happiness For the Future Coalition members, both provider and customer."

    "I hope you realize what you just let in¡­rade."

    "I do. There is only one condition."

    "And here ites," the old woman sneered.

    "I want <em>all</em> of you, not just part of you."

    "What do you mean."

    "I want the whole package, and that includes <em>upational training</em>. I want your schools, your apprenticeships, your workce, and industrial safety, <em>your technology</em>¡­ <em>all</em> of it, not just your rabble rousing."

    "We would insist on that anyhow," the human replied, "And we have just one condition as well."

    "Shoot!" Karashel said happily.

    "This ''resource allocation credit''," the woman replied as if she was chewing on a turd. "We gotta nip this bullshit in the bud right now. You ain''t paying nobody in fucking chits only good at the pany store''. Not happening."

    "I know what it looks like," Karashel replied, "But they aren''t chits. I am trying to institute a new <em>andpletely valid</em> currency. A finite number of them will be printed, and they will be tied <em>directly</em> to the production of each member state. As that production rises, so will their value, and it will <em>never</em> fall below one Federation credit. I have to make it look ''chitty'' so I can sneak it past the Federation until we get too strong for them to object. They have a thing about keeping a monopoly on the monies. It''s one of the ways they have leverage and one I exploited to great effect. They have absolutely no control over these'' worthless'' chits, and the ''exchange rate'' will only go up. Hell, <em>I''m</em> going to get paid in them! It''s a great investment and built-in profit sharing! The better a system performs, the more their ''money'' is worth, and nobody will have any problem getting them exchanged when they want¡­ after the adjustment period. During the adjustment period, they will only be able to exchange them for goods and services <em>outside</em> of the Coalition systems, but in exchange, they will have ess to the <em>entire gxy</em>, not just the restricted selection they had before because of those stupid trade agreements."

    "So you say," the woman replied suspiciously, "but exactly how long is that adjustment period?"

    "Five years," Karashel replied. "Give me five years, and if you don''t like it, we will do a bulk exchange one for one with Federation credits and convert all wages to credits immediately."

    "We''ll need that in writing," the woman replied.

    "It''s already in the contract."

    "I still don''t like it."

    "A good negotiation leaves neither side fully satisfied," Karashel replied, "Just think. If you do this, you will be able topete <em>directly</em> with the Federation <em>on this side</em> of the tariffs. We achieve what I <em>know</em> we can achieve, and it won''t just be the Coalition who will be interested in you. It could open up ess to countless other systems as well. You people are far more dangerous to business as usual in the Federation than your military could ever hope to be."

    Karashel smiled

    "And I''m stupid to let you have a toe-hold in it," she grinned, "If you honestly don''t like how things turn out, you assholes have a long history of what happens next. So what do you say?"

    "We are NOT disarming."

    "I wasn''t stupid enough to request it."

    The woman nced over at another monitor where over a hundred names and titles appeared, watching as green icon after green icon appeared.

    She smiled.

    "Karashel of the Baleel, as president of the Terran RFL-CIO, I ept your invitation. I sincerely hope you know what you just unleashed."

    "I am all wiggly with anticipation," Karashel giggled.

 Chapter 177: Intermission: Just Another Day at the Drop of Oil

    Chapter 177: Intermission: Just Another Day at the Drop of Oil

    ¡°Oh, dear...¡± Craxina said as she tried to keep a pleasant demeanor.

    Standing in front of her in a pretty ¡°dress¡± was perhaps the most horrific thing she had ever seen.

    ¡°So, you are interested in bing¡­ a <em>sex worker</em>?¡± Craxina asked, desperately trying not to scream¡­ orugh. Everyone was wee here¡­ nominally¡­

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± the <em>thing</em> eximed happily, the dozens of eyes in its chitinous head dominated with huge mandibles, like a solifugid (but a tad bit more aggressive looking) sparkling excitedly.

    It bounced up and down on its multiple hairy legs covered with coarse hairs and long vicious spines.

    ¡°I heard that it¡¯s a great way to make money!¡± the monstrosity in a floral sundress chirped with a surprisingly pleasant voice. ¡°And¡­ I just think humans are so <em>cute</em>!¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ they are that...¡± Craxina replied with a polite smile as she struggled to maintain eye contact. Holy Christ on a Popsicle stick, that thing was scary. Craxina fought an instinctive urge to flee.

    ¡°And¡­¡± the horror said as it leaned in close, causing Craxina to tremble slightly, ¡±<em>I just love porn!¡±</em> it whispered. ¡°We don¡¯t have porn where I¡¯m from, and I think it¡¯s <em>amazing!¡±</em>

    She(?) hopped up and down, causing her ¡°sun dress¡± to flutter, and squealed. ¡°It looks like so much <em>fun</em>!¡­ I¡¯ve been taking notes!¡±

    <em>By the elder groves¡­ grant me grace, courage, and wisdom.</em> Craxina silently prayed in horror as she got a peek at what was under the dress. (It wasn¡¯t good.)

    ¡°But¡­ are you <em>sure</em>?¡± Craxina asked with a ¡°friendly¡± smile firmly adhered to her face. ¡°You know, sex work isn¡¯t for everyone. And if your culture doesn¡¯t even have pornography...¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just because we don¡¯t need it!¡± the thing eximed, vibrating her posterior. ¡°We just love sex! We do it all the time, and if someone wants to watch, they can watch! They can even join in! There¡¯s nothing I love more than a mating ball! Sometimes dozens of us join in¡­ and when mating season hits, it gets really freaky!¡±

    The chitinous terror giggled.

    Craxina twitched as her very good imagination pictured that for a few moments.

    ¡°I don¡¯t even know who my parents are! I hatched under a park bench!¡± she giggled, ¡°I¡¯m a mating season bastardbrat!¡± she added proudly. ¡°Fucking is literally in my blood!¡±

    ¡°Well, you seem well suited for it¡­ <em>emotionally</em>¡­¡± Craxina replied, the smile still firmly glued to her maw. ¡°But, and forgive for this¡­¡± she said, ¡°But your species...¡±

    ¡°We are called the Vrrrkk###t!¡± she said cheerfully, ¡°But the humans call us the Nope!¡±

    ¡°Ah¡­ the ¡®Nope¡¯...¡± Craxina replied. ¡°That¡¯s certainly...¡±

    ¡°I know, right?¡± the Nope giggled. ¡°It was the first word one of them said when they encountered us! ¡°

    ¡°Yes...¡± Craxina said as diplomatically as she could, ¡°And once again, forgive me for asking this¡­ but are you <em>certain</em> that you and humans are¡­ um¡­ physicallypatible? I hate to ask, but it¡¯s just that your physiology is a bit...¡±

    Craxina trailed off as she carefully considered her words.

    ¡°It¡¯s just, <em>at first nce</em>, not simr to a human¡¯s.¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry!¡± the Nope replied happily, ¡°I¡¯ve been taking notes and have <em>parts</em>!¡±

    She started to raise her ¡°sun dress¡±.

    <em>Oh, Creators, please, no.</em>

    ¡°See?¡± the Nope asked happily as she disyed¡­ an orifice¡­ surrounded by inward pointing barbed spines. ¡°That¡¯s where the male¡¯s breeding spike goes, and it¡¯s about the same size¡­ and we do oral too!¡­ And I¡¯m <em>really good</em>! All the males love it back home!¡­ and I¡¯ve been practicing! Check this out!¡±

    The Nope happily reached into her satchel and pulled out an appropriately sized wooden rod. She spread her prehensile outer mandibles wide revealing a¡­

    <em>AiEEEEEeeeeEEEeeee!</em> Craxina silently screamed...

    Round openingpletely ringed with hundreds of small fangs, all of them eagerly wiggling...

    She slid the wooden rod into her mouth and...

    <em>Whirrrrrr</em>

    Sawdust started to fly from her maw as Craxina looked on in horror.

    The Nope pulled out the rod, now intricately carved.

    ¡°And they are impressed with tying a cherry stem in a knot!¡± it scoffed.

    Craxina sighed.

    ¡°I see...¡± she said as kindly as she could, ¡°what¡¯s your name?¡±

    ¡°My human name is Charlotte!¡±

    ¡°Charlotte¡­¡± Craxina said gently, ¡°everybody is wee here¡ª¡°

    ¡°I know!¡± Charlotte eximed. ¡°That¡¯s why I came!¡­ It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s been kind of hard here...¡±

    She drooped slightly.

    ¡°And I haven¡¯t made many friends¡­ or any friends really¡­ I thought I had some friends, but¡­ I didn¡¯t¡­ But then I saw this ce on the news! And there were all sorts of beings of all kinds! And you said all were wee, and I just came here as fast as I could!¡­¡±

    Charlotte trailed off as she looked at Craxina¡¯s face.

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m not wee¡­ am I?¡±

    She started to make a strange keening sound, and Craxina¡¯s instincts took over.

    ¡°No!¡± Craxina eximed, literally crawling over her desk. ¡°I mean, yes!¡± Craxina shouted as she wrapped her arms around the distressed Nope. ¡±<em>Everybody</em> is wee here, Charlotte!¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I am?¡± the Nope asked with a quivering voice.

    ¡°Sure you are!¡± Craxina replied. ¡°Everybody <em>is</em> wee here! I¡¯m not sure if you are a good fit for sex work¡­ <em>maybe</em>¡­ But <em>you have a home here</em>, and you <em>will</em> have friends, and you <em>will</em> have a job!¡±

    ¡°R-really?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely!¡± Craxina replied, temporarily oblivious to exactly what she had her arms around.

    ¡°However¡­¡± Craxinaughed, ¡°we need to cover a few¡­ <em>details</em>¡­ concerning human physiology before I let you <em>anywhere near</em> a client!¡±

    ¡°Oh, thank you!¡± Charlotte squealed happily. ¡°I¡¯ve been <em>so lonely</em>!¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s <em>over</em> now,¡± Craxina replied firmly as she hugged the Nope tightly¡­

    and then realized exactly what she was hugging and yelped a little bit¡­

    but didn¡¯t let go.

    ¡°Hey, Craxi!¡± Littlefoot said as she entered Craxina¡¯s tent. ¡°The Sheloran is¡ª AAAH!¡±

    ¡°Littlefoot,¡± Craxina said happily, ¡°this is Charlotte!¡±

    ¡°Hello!¡± Charlotte eximed happily, ¡°I¡¯m so happy to meet you! I¡¯m going to be a whore!¡±

    <em>¡°You are?¡±</em>

    ¡°Actually, Charlotte,¡± Craxinaughed, ¡°you are going to be a <em>barista</em>¡­ at least until you stop spitting sawdust.¡±

    ¡°Aww.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Craxina smiled, patting Charlotte on the back. ¡°If you <em>really</em> want to do sex work, I¡¯m sure we can figure out something that won¡¯t rip our customer¡¯s dicks off¡­ But until then, stick to coffee.¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡±

    Craxina turned to Littlefoot.

    ¡°Sorry, what were you saying?¡± she asked.

    ¡°What?¡± Littlefoot asked, ¡°¡­ Oh yeah! The Sheloran is down. It looks like the reactor died again.¡±

    ¡°Again?!?¡± Craxina eximed with frustration. ¡°Ok, I¡¯ll call Jamal...¡±

    She turned to Charlotte.

    ¡°Right after we get our new <em>friend</em> set up.¡±

    Charlotte bounced up and down happily. She had been so lonely since she left home.

    Maybe, just maybe, she had finally found friends!

    ***

    A fifty-foot tall column of light appeared, which rapidly morphed into a giant Sheloran.

    ¡°<strong>Craxina!</strong>¡± It bellowed, ¡°<strong>Put on some pooping clothes!</strong>¡±

    ¡°Yay!¡± Craxina cheered as she threw herself at a faintly haggard and disheveled looking dusky-skinned man who could be anywhere between the ages of thirty and fifty.

    ¡°Don¡¯t thank me,¡± Jamal smiled, ¡°Thank Dusty over there,¡± he said, gesturing to a pale, unnaturally tall ck haired woman leaning against a small, rather beat up looking shuttle that was now connected to ¡°Sheloran¡± with thick cables. ¡°She was the one with the lightning bug.¡±

    ¡°You are a lifesaver!¡± Craxina enthused as she epted a tablet from Dusty, ¡°I can¡¯t thank you en-¡­ ooh...¡± she trailed off as she looked at the tablet unhappily.

    She looked up at Dusty with big eyes.

    ¡°That¡¯s more than Jamal¡¯s reactor, and his is bigger, way bigger!¡±

    ¡°Price is the price,¡± Dusty shrugged.

    ¡°But why so much?¡±

    ¡°Going pay for these KVA,¡± Dusty replied with a Lunar drawl. ¡°You don¡¯t want them, someone else does.¡±

    ¡°I just don¡¯t understand, that¡¯s all,¡± Craxina pouted.

    ¡°And that¡¯s why you are talking to me in the first ce,¡± Dusty replied with a not entirely friendly smile. ¡°They don¡¯t teach basic electricity where youe from?¡± she added with an all too familiar smug tone.

    ¡°No,¡± Craxina replied in a small voice as she looked down. ¡°But we do offer extended studies in <em>cuntology</em>,¡± she said as she looked back up with a snarl and a gleam in her eyes, ¡°You¡¯d have no problem getting one of <em>our</em> certificates¡­ bitch.¡±

    Dusty let out augh as Jamal snickered.

    ¡°I see why you like her,¡± she said to Jamal. ¡°Ok, here¡¯s the deal,¡± she said as she turned back to Craxina. ¡°Your girl here,¡± she said as she pointed up at Sheloran, ¡°is one filthy bitch.¡±

    ¡°Exfuckingcuse me?!?¡± Craxina squeaksnarled.

    ¡°The holo-projector,¡± Dustyughed, ¡°As far as power is concerned, these things are horrible, worse than auto-turrets, even worse thanser printers. No way you can run it and the rest of your load with the reactor you have, no matter what thebel te says.¡±

    ¡°But Samantha said that it would work,¡± Craxina whined.

    Dusty looked over at Jamal quizzically.

    ¡°The local Luna Promotions sales rep,¡± Jamal replied with the same expression he would have if he found a turd in his Pho. ¡°A real ¡®Dome Twelve¡¯. You¡¯d love her.¡±

    ¡°She said that they ran them off of portable reactors all the time,¡± Craxina said glumly as she handed the signed tablet to Dusty.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Dusty replied, ¡°dedicated ones, <em>Lunar ones</em>¡­ with big ass filters. You need a reactor rated for energy weapons or concerts for your girl.¡±

    She patted her shuttle fondly.

    ¡°Like this one,¡± she said proudly.

    <strong>I just wanted to sell coffee...</strong> the Great Sheloran sighed.

    ¡°Is that why it¡¯s so expensive?¡±

    ¡°That,¡± Dusty grinned, ¡°and a certain ¡®avability fee¡¯.¡±

    ¡°You mean a ¡®you got me grabbing all of my ankles fee¡¯?¡± Craxina replied sourly.

    ¡°That would be the one,¡± Dusty chuckled.

    ¡°With everything going on,¡± Jamal said, ¡°flying reactors, especially ones rated for ¡®Sheloran¡¯ like hers, are in short supply. Dusty came all the way from Luna, and I was lucky to get her. If you want Sheloran back up right away, it¡¯s either her or¡­ Well, if you want Sheloran up and running, it¡¯s just her. She isn¡¯t fucking you too bad, though. She could probably be making more on Luna or out in the system somewhere.¡±

    ¡°I saw your ad,¡± Dustyughed. ¡°I wanted to check you guys out. Besides, I need some real G¡¯s and some real food. Speaking of,¡± she said as she tossed a key fob to Jamal, ¡°that Cuban ce still good?¡±

    ¡°You know it.¡±

    ¡°Alright,¡± she replied. ¡°Take care of my baby. I¡¯m out.¡±

    With augh and a wave, she sauntered off.

    ¡°What a bitch,¡± Craxina smiled. ¡°I like her.¡±

    ***

    As the day drew to a close, Jamal carefully bent a superconductor and measured the shape with a vernier caliper.

    He frowned. He was off by 2 millimeters.

    He was getting sloppy.

    He shrugged. It would still fit. He had befortable with his mediocrity.

    He took the superconductor and leaned into arge open electrical cab, destined to be ¡°Sheloran¡¯s¡± new power supply, leaning against his van. He slid it into ce, wiggling it so it would fit. He then pulled out a soldering iron and a rod of superconducting solder.

    He was about to start the meticulous process of a zero-ohm solder joint when he felt as if he was being watched.

    He turned his head.

    He was. He found himself looking into the big glittering ck eyes (and her extra two smaller ones) of Honx, one of the ¡°ponies¡±.

    <em>Her again?</em>

    ¡°I brought you some coffee!¡± Honx said brightly.

    ¡°Thanks...¡± Jamal replied a little dubiously. ¡°Just put it over there with the other cups of coffee you brought me, you know, the ones I haven¡¯t drunk yet?¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Honx said, her short prehensile ¡°snoot¡± drooping, ¡°ok.¡±

    As she glumly took the cup over to his work table, Jamal sighed.

    ¡°Is there something you want?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s nothing,¡± she said quietly.

    Jamal put the soldering iron down and flipped up his scanning/safety visor.

    ¡°It¡¯s a sin to waste food,¡± he said with a gentle smile, ¡°or coffee.¡±

    He stood up, stretched his back, walked over to the table, and picked up a cup.

    ¡°What?¡± he smiled.

    ¡°(chuff) I¡­ um...¡± Honx twisted her snoot anxiously, ¡°Can I ask you a question?¡±

    ¡°Shoot.¡±

    ¡°(chuff) It¡¯s about your reactors,¡± Honx asked uncertainly, ¡°Why (chuff)¡­ I mean, how are they so <em>small</em>? A Federation reactor has to be almost fifty percentrger for the same power output.¡±

    ¡°Oh, lots of reasons,¡± Jamal said as he leaned against the table. ¡°One, our technology is better¡­ a lot better¡­ when ites to small reactors. Hell, even the Juon copy ours.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Honx asked in amazement. ¡°I thought that the Federation had better technology.¡±

    Jamal let loose a genuineugh.

    ¡°They don¡¯t, not when ites to these anyway,¡± he said, patting his reactor. ¡°The other reason why the Federation¡¯s are so muchrgeres down to manufacturing, materials, design philosophy, operator training, and a whole bunch of other things.¡±

    He sipped his coffee.

    ¡°The biggest reason,¡± he smiled, ¡°is that <em>nobody</em> makes better reactors than the Republic. Our reactors are what make the Republic able to do what it does,¡± he said proudly.

    ¡°Yes, but¡­ <em>How</em> do you do it?¡± Honx asked excitedly.

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Jamal chuckled a bit condescendingly, ¡°it would take a while to exin, and it¡¯s a bit¡­plicated for someone like you.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± Honx replied, a bit crestfallen, ¡°¡­ ok¡­ sorry for troubling you.¡±

    Her snoot drooped, and she turned to slink away.

    Jamal sighed, silently calling himself the asshole that he just was.

    ¡°Hey¡­ Honx, right?¡±

    Honx stopped and turned around.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he said.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I just dismissed you and assumed you were incapable because of what you are, not who you are. That¡¯s not cool,¡± he said. ¡°Same thing happened to me. People only see your ¡®card¡¯ and that you are ¡®just a worker¡¯, and not an apprentice and assume you aren¡¯t worth their time. Andter, when you finally do be an apprentice, another group of assholes won¡¯t bother with you because you aren¡¯t a journeyman. I hated assholes like that, and here I am being one.¡±

    He gestured her over.

    ¡°So,¡± he smiled, ¡°what do you want to know?¡±

    ***

    ¡°That¡¯s incredible!¡± Honx eximed as she stared into the now deactivated and partially disassembled reactor (Jamal was going to take it down for some much needed preventative maintenance since Dusty¡¯s reactor was here anyway), ¡°but¡­ but¡­ how do you both contain the neutron flux <em>and</em> convert it to electricity with the same field? That¡¯s insane!¡±

    ¡°Basic QFT,¡± Jamal chuckled as he drank his now cold cup of coffee, ¡°Sorry. I keep forgetting you don¡¯t know our abbreviations. It¡¯s basic quantum field theory. When it hits the field, it transfers its KE directly to the electromaic field, causing a cascade of virtual particles whose only path back to vacuum state is at the collectors. This trantes to a real difference of potential, and there you go. The field <em>is</em> the ¡®conductor,¡¯ so to speak, though there is no ¡®real¡¯ voltage until you actually reach the superconductors.¡±

    Jamal smiled.

    ¡°That¡¯s where the real reduction in weight and sizees from,¡± he said, ¡°Why fuck around with extra ¡®collectors¡¯ and ¡®conductors¡¯ when you already have them built right into the physics?¡±

    ¡°And¡­ and and,¡± Honx babbled, her eyes aglow, ¡°how do you handle the excess potential?¡±

    ¡°You can either store it in caps or batts,¡± he replied, ¡°or just keep the electromaic field elevated locally for a bit. You can hold a <em>lot</em> of potential there. If you <em>have</em> to dump it, we can throttle back the fusion rate, slowly convert the elevated field back into KE, and push it into the fusion sma. That way, we don¡¯t need all those heat sinks, further cutting weight. If we are ever at the point that we actually have to dump waste heat to the outside, something has gone really wrong, and we hit the fail-safes, probably because the reactor is actually broken.¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± Honx eximed. ¡°and you do all of that through quantum field maniption?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just simple math,¡± Jamal replied. ¡°not that I actually do much of that. Most of that is built in. I just have to know enough to properly calibrate things. Good familiarity with theory is also a must for a troubleshoot.¡±

    He looked at Honx appraisingly.

    ¡°Speaking of,¡± he said with an odd tone in his voice. ¡°you have a surprisingly good grasp on things for a Fed, no offense.¡±

    Honx snootled.

    ¡°Considering many of my peers,¡± she chucklesnorted, ¡°none taken. I was a tender for a family back home, and some of the males and females were engineers. I used to sneak peeks at their books and the education materials for the children when nobody was looking.¡±

    ¡°I strongly suspect that if you keep talking, I¡¯m going to get pissed off at your people,¡± Jamal replied.

    ¡°Probably...¡± Honx said sadly. ¡°they could be¡­ unkind¡­¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    Jamal clenched his jaw. He had heard <em>so many</em> horror stories since he delivered his reactor to this weird ce.

    There were a whole lot of asses and not enough boots.

    ¡°You have been so patient and kind,¡± Honx said, ¡°please do not let courtesy detain you. However, I do have another question if you are inclined.¡±

    ¡°I got time.¡±

    ¡°I see that you are¡­ constructing something,¡± Honx said, ¡°from individualponents?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jamal replied, ¡°Dusty isn¡¯t going to keep her lightning bug parked here forever. I¡¯m building ¡®Sheloran¡¯ here a proper power supply, so she doesn¡¯t keep backfeeding garbage into my power regtor.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Honx asked, ¡°I am truly impressed by the feat, something that most engineers could not achieve back home, but why don¡¯t you just buy one?¡±

    ¡°From where?¡± Jamalughed. ¡°Good luck finding one these days. I have no choice, not that I mind. It¡¯s easy money.¡±

    ¡°I thought that the Republic¡¯s industrial might was vast,¡± Honx replied. ¡°Is there not a factory among all of the thousands in this system that is not making them?¡±

    ¡°Once upon a time, there was,¡± Jamal said with an odd tone in his voice, ¡°but that was before the bug. It might not look like it, but we are still ¡¯at war¡¯. All those factories? They are running full-tilt but let¡¯s just say they aren¡¯t making as much for the consumer market as they used to. Same goes for the Empire. Our economy is still as mobilized as it can be and still sustain something vaguely resembling normalcy¡­ if you don¡¯t look too closely. That means that you can get groceries, clothes, and a new holo for your living room¡­ from the Empire¡­, but good luck getting anymercial or industrial equipment or even a new car. If you want to buy new, you are going to have to put in a special order and be prepared to wait a bit.¡±

    He looked skyward.

    ¡°The bug ising again,¡± he snarled, ¡°and when they do, we will be waiting for them¡­ or be paying them a visit first. I might not fly a fighter or run around in power armor, but I <em>do</em> keep a pile of second-hand reactors running so the new ones can go where they need to. And, when that dayes, I will, once again, raise my hand and enter the heart of a dragon, bringing fire and death to those who would harm us.¡±

    ¡°You fought in the Great War?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°What did you¡ª¡°

    ¡°I don¡¯t talk about it,¡± Jamal replied curtly as he looked away.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I have caused you any distress,¡± Honx said, afraid that he would never talk to her again.

    ¡°You weren¡¯t the one who caused the distress, kid,¡± Jamal replied. ¡°I just don¡¯t like to talk about it, that¡¯s all.¡±

    Jamal cleared his throat.

    ¡°So,¡± he said, ¡°would you like to see how we do power supplies?¡±

    ¡°Yes, please!¡±

    ***

    ¡°She¡¯s freaky looking, but I like her already,¡± a human man in a stained apron said to Craxina. ¡°Good thing I actually like spiders.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a relief!¡± Craxina replied. ¡°She sounded so lonely.¡±

    ¡°She keeps doing what she¡¯s doing today,¡± the man replied, ¡°and I¡¯ll steal her for myself.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare!¡± Craxinaughed. ¡°Poach one more of my workers, and I¡¯ll sic Sheloran on you!¡±

    ¡°Oh no!¡± the guyughed, ¡°I¡¯ll be good! I promise!¡±

    He smiled and shook his head.

    ¡°I still remember the day she got busted in the parking lot of my shop,¡± he chuckled. ¡°I couldn¡¯t believe it! Of course, it all makes sense now...¡±

    Theyughed.

    A mechanical arm cautiously opened the tent p.

    ¡°Craxina?¡± Baxlon asked in a nervous, frightened, voice, ¡°Do you have a minute.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck do you want, <em>incel?¡±</em> Craxina snapped.

    ***

    ¡°How do you know so much about this stuff?¡± Jamal asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± Honx eximed.

    ¡°About what?¡±

    ¡°Learning when I¡¯m not supposed to!¡± Honx eximed, ¡°I¡¯ll stop!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare!¡± Jamal said firmly, ¡°You don¡¯t need <em>anyone¡¯s</em> permission to learn <em>anything!</em> I was just impressed, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Mytube!¡± Honx eximed happily. ¡°It¡¯s so wonderful!¡­ And I look up a lot of stuff online! I even subscribed to one of those kit programs, you know, the ones for your children? I really look forward to my Tinkerbox every month!¡±

    Sheughed.

    ¡°That¡¯s about my level,¡± she giggled, ¡°I¡¯m on par with one of your children now!¡±

    ¡°Not too shabby,¡± Jamal replied. ¡°Are you happy here?¡±

    Honx sighed and paused for a few moments.

    ¡°I¡¯m safe, and I have enough money to live well,¡± she replied, ¡°and I have friends¡­ It¡¯s very close to the family I lost¡­ And what I do isn¡¯t <em>bad</em>¡­ or unpleasant¡­ not anymore¡­ I suppose I¡¯m ¡®happy¡¯...¡±

    ¡°So if I, for example, offered you a job, you <em>wouldn¡¯t</em> be interested?¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°You think I¡¯ve spent the entire afternoon talking to you just to be nice?¡± Jamalughed. ¡°Halfway through our tour of the reactor, this stopped being about you and started being about me needing an extra set of hands. You¡¯ve been on a job interview for hours, Honx. It would probably be one hell of a pay cut. You won¡¯t get rich being a helper, but it will be a livable wage, <em>training,</em> and, of course, a union card. Once you get that card, that is what people go by. Whether or not you have a certificate no longer matters.¡±

    ¡°But, I¡¯m not trained,¡± Honx replied, a bit stunned, ¡°and I don¡¯t have my certificate.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve shown me that not only can you be trained, but you want to be,¡± he smiled. ¡°You really dig this stuff and I like that. As far as your certificate goes,¡± he chuckled, ¡°Like I said before, times have changed. In a lot of ways, we are still at war. We need every single skilled person we can get, and Everybody¡¯s short-handed. ¡®Building¡¯ techs is every bit as important as building warships, Honx. I have had an ad out for an apprentice or a helper for over a year and a half and can¡¯t <em>get</em> anyone, well, anyone worth a fuck. So¡­ job¡¯s open. Want it?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Honx eximed, prancing around on all four of her hooves.

    ¡°Great!¡± Jamal replied. ¡°You¡¯re hired. Now give me a hand with these work lights. We¡¯re going to be here awhile.¡±

 Chapter 178: Being a Good Ambassador, A Nope Explorers Guide

    Chapter 178: Being a Good Ambassador, A Nope Explorer''s Guide

    Huzzah, you crazy bastardbrat! You have decided to venture forth into the gxy in search of new tastes, scents, and dare to dream, opportunities for conquest and plunder! (Note: we are using these terms in their cultural and figurative sense. Please don¡¯t <em>actually</em> engage in conquest and plunder, please!)

    As ¡°scouts for the swarm,¡± you are the first of us to extend our soft and timid legs out into this strange, new, and inviting territory! We wish you all of the excitement, adventure, and hopefully rich rewards that being a trailyer can bring!

    However, please be aware that as the first of our kind that virtually all of the greater gxy will encounter, you are representing all of us! Each of you trailyers is an ambassador. Just like the glorious scouts and trailyers of the past, your first encounter with another ¡°swarm¡± can decide whether we gather together in mating balls of friendship or if we fall upon each other with fang and spine.

    So, let¡¯s form happy orgies with all we meet! (Note: We mean this <em>figuratively</em>!!! We would like to stress this once again. We mean this <em>figuratively</em>! Unless they are down, of course. ;) )

    From the results of our first contact, the glorious bastardbrats on the <em>Viperfly</em> have returned (much ahead of schedule!) with charts and a wealth of information concerning the dizzying multitude of races and the political structure of the gxy. They most certainlyid the mother trail and then some!

    The strangeness of other sapient life out there is far greater than even our most imaginative futurists and science fiction authors could create, regardless of which substances they consumed! I¡¯m telling you, those things out there are <em>freaky!</em>

    Firstly, their appearance is very unusual, even quite disturbing. However, if you were one to be deterred by the strange and unusual, you wouldn¡¯t be reading this save for entertainment! Regardless of their viscerally disturbing looks, they seem to be peaceful for the most part.

    While their biology and cultures are as weird and unique as their bodies, there are some simrities between them, many of which are incredibly alien to us. Some of these have the very real potential to cause some fatal faux pas that could permanently undermine rtions with not only individual species but therger ¡°superswarms¡± or ¡°college associations¡± thatprise literally hundreds of different species and systems.

    Needless to say, we don¡¯t want that to happen!

    Reproduction:

    The most significant difference between us and most of the other sapient species of the gxy is our means of reproduction. We seem to be among the very rare few of civilized species that are true spawners. This confounds all of our biologists and sociologists. But the vast majority of sapient species do not sensibly produce hundreds of young per batch, wish them well, and then release them into the environment. They actually only produce one (usually) or a very small number (less usual) of young at a time and then irrationally devote the vast majority of their resources and energy in raising that <em>single</em> individual or several individuals at different points in their development.

    As strange as this seems to us, it must be a fit way to do things as it is so widespread. Natural selection, the fairest god of them all, seems to have blessed it, so who are we to judge? We are the odd ones out, not them.

    As a result, this causes the adults to be very invested in their young to the point of irrational or even insane behavior. They form bonds with them as strong or stronger than the ones we form with our fellow students and are even more protective of them than we are of our underssmen. Be <em>very</em> careful around any juveniles. Fortunately, it seems that very few of the other species undergo metamorphosis, and if they do, they only have one stage, unlike ourselves. This makes identifying the juveniles much easier than it does here. They usually just look like smaller versions of the adults. Be certain to do the proper research before interacting with a new species to ensure you can identify their juvenile stages. We cannot stress this enough!

    <strong>Potential major fatal faux pas:</strong> If a member of another species presents you with one of their young, they are NOT offering you a snack! <strong>Juveniles are NOT FOR EATING!!!</strong> So don¡¯t even inquire if they are because they are NOT!!!

    Another overwhelminglymon tendency among the other species out there is the strongly held belief that immature members of their species should be <em>protected from natural selection!</em> As strange or even offensive as that sounds to us, once again, we must point out that for it to be somon, it must be <em>fit</em> and a sessful reproductive strategy. Natural selection has blessed it and has allowed these species to, in defiance of allmon sense, rise to the top of their food chain and their environment and attain sapience and civilization. It must work even if we don¡¯t get it. It is the opportunity to feel and taste such delicious contradictions to our normal way of thinking that forms one of the choicest chunks of flesh that we can bring back to the campus cafeteria!¡±

    <strong>Potential faux-pas:</strong> Because of this devotion to the protection of their young and their strongly held beliefs that young should be protected, we strongly rmend not sharing your childhood stories. (and tall tales¡­ We all know you hid under a leaf like the rest of us and don¡¯t even try to deny it.)

    Even a ¡°lighthearted¡± story from your younger days has the potential to greatly distress your audience and could taint their perceptions of us. We want to be known for our culture, our science, our literature, and our potential for trade. We do not want to be unfairlybeled as callous or uncaring.

    <strong>Potential fatal faux pas:</strong> Under no circumstances mention culling our young or eating them. This will NOT be understood by these ¡°single breeders¡± (we¡¯re still working on the name). It is guaranteed that they will not understand the virtue of such practices, and it will definitely color their impressions of us. Yes, it is an act of kindness and mercy, but we are pretty sure they won¡¯t understand it as such. So please don¡¯t give us the reputation for being ¡°baby eaters¡±.

    If questioned about your ¡°childhood,¡± it is rmended that you stick to your experiences as a young adult, your early school days, your academy years, and your days as an underssman. These are much more in line with their expectations. When asked about ¡°your parents,¡± select a favorite mentor, teacher, fraternity or sorority big brother or big sister or the like and cast them in the role of ¡°parent¡±. Of course, those of you who do know who your parents are can feel free to use them but again, stick to young adulthood. Their roles as your mentors once you reached that stage are very much the same as what other species would expect. I don¡¯t care how grateful you might be for having your egg put somewhere nice or that they would give you a piece of their lunch or a capful of water every now and then. It is guaranteed that your audience will not understand and will, in fact, develop a dim view of your parents!

    Diet:

    This is another huge surprise! The vast majority of the species we have encountered thus far have herbivorous diets! We are still grooming our heads over this one. Somehow, they were able to develop the caloric density necessary forrge brains off of <em>nts!</em> Nominally most are omnivorous, but proper food is only a minor part of their daily diets. Carnivores, or predominately carnivores, are in the minority, and obligate carnivores such as ourselves are rare in the extreme.

    This seems to stem from the widespread ability to metabolize carbohydrates like some of our lower animals. This is another head-groomer, but once again, it must work. Because of this, our animal protein and lipid-rich diets will be quite expensive or incredibly decadently luxurious by the standards of many of the worlds you visit. As a result, it is strongly rmended that you prepare and bring rations sufficient to fully sustain you during your initial explorations.

    Each of you has been issued a ¡°scanner¡± and has been instructed in its use. Besides being the coolest things since your enrollment day, they are excellent for evaluating potential food sources. One of your primary ¡°missions¡± is to identify the means by which we can sustain ourselves once the swarms follow your trails. As it turns out our digestive tracts are very robust and can break down all sorts of alien foodstuffs. The problem is that many of those foods will yield less nutrition and resources than will be expended in their digestion. It is much easier to ¡°starve with a full stomach¡± than it is here. So pay close attention to the nutritional payoff when selecting food.

    Many species utilize lipids as a food ingredient and even as a vehicle for heat during ¡°cooking¡±. (see food preparation: cooking) these are liquid at normal temperatures, but despite that and most of them being nt-based, many seem to be a good source of calories and are usually inexpensive enough to be used as an alternate food source in a pinch. They may be a little pricey but are often much less expensive than proper food. Meat can get <em>very</em> expensive out there! These ¡°cooking oils¡± can provide the necessary calories but will likely not provide any nutrition besides those vital calories.

    Be sure to scan everything carefully but please experiment with lipid and protein blends as you travel to see if local food alternatives can be developed. This will greatly ease the swarm¡¯s progress. These herbivores must have developed calorie density sufficient to feed their brains and didn¡¯t do that from sge. We suspect that enough nt-based lipids and proteins could create a dietary basis sufficient for this, but we haven¡¯t confirmed that yet. See if you can!

    Food Etiquette:

    Most species prepare their food by some method of ¡°cooking¡± (see food preparation: cooking). We suspect that this is due to the problems inherent in eating so many nts and their overall weak digestive processes. Any confirmation on this would be appreciated.

    As a result, they do not consume all that much of their food while it is still alive. Many of them will find the act of eating a living creature (even a lower life form) very distressing to the point that it may taint future dealings with the species. If you can get your snappers on some proper food, it would be wisest to consume it in private.

    You also need to prepare yourself for your hosts to consume ¡°cooked¡± animal flesh. I know it sounds disgusting, but it¡¯s very widespread. You may be confronted with a dish prepared in such a fashion by your hosts as an act of hospitality. It isn¡¯t dangerous, and depending on the culture of your host, rejecting it may be problematic, especially since actual animal flesh might be an expensive gift.

    We rmend giving it a try. Initial reports say that it isn¡¯t horrible and, in some cases, actually tastes <em>good,</em> if really, really weird. Most species, however, are perfectly ok with you requesting your meat uncooked.

    <strong>Potential faux-pas:</strong> ANY live animal you encounter in proximity with any sapient species you meet MUST be assumed to be ¡°not for eating¡±! (see odd quirks:panion animals) Eating someone¡¯s ¡°pet¡± is <em>guaranteed</em> to cause a real problem not only for you but quite possibly for any future dealings with our entire race. In addition, any living creature encountered in a city is ¡°not for eating¡±. Just as we have creatures that we revere, so do other cultures, and you don¡¯t want to be ¡°that guy¡± who ate the school¡¯s mascot (you know who you are). In some cultures, it¡¯s even worse, so don¡¯t do it.

    Creatures in the ¡°wild¡± are also not necessarily safe for eating. Many cultures have creatures that are ¡°protected¡± for some reason or another, and eating the wrong thing can be both a cultural and legal issue. VERIFY that something is ok to eat BEFORE you put your snappers on it.

    We arepiling a list of races that have healthy hunting cultures where the taking of game is both eptable and encouraged. However, most of them have exhaustive rules concerning what can be taken, how it can be taken, and when it can be taken, so be sure to review all localws and customs before getting your feed on.

    Please forward any and all findings home! Any hunt-friendly world will be of great interest to the swarm!

    As with anything out there in that strange gxy, discretion, caution, and verification will be your friends.

    Physical interaction:

    Our world is a bit exuberant by gctic standards. Our environment is considered extreme, and our ecosystem is considered incredibly hostile by the few visitors who arrived. I know it¡¯s difficult to understand how anyone could feel that way about our lush and happy world but most who have seen it express surprise that anything could survive it.

    Compared to the boring ces they hail from, it bes more understandable. Most other civilization-bearing worlds are downright tepid, with very dull weather, insipidly stable climate, and ecosystems that are absolutely fragile.

    Fragile is the word to keep in mind when dealing with anyone you meet. It is quite easy to identally injure or even kill creatures from other worlds! Even a yful little brush with your spines can inflict fatal wounds, and just assume that a nip will cause an amputation. Therefore, be VERY careful when around other species. In fact, try not to touch them at all if possible.

    Slow and gentle is the way to go. Pretend they are made of ss.

    Any physical altercation will likely result in the death of the other species, so if you find yourself in that position, if it isn¡¯t something worth killing over, flee because you WILL kill them. A recent incident involving a trailyer and a would-be assant resulted in a fatality due to a backwards nip where just the force of a snapper opening was enough to cause fatal internal damage. Fortunately, our scout was in the clear from a legal standpoint, and there were no issues.

    It may scratch your tes but just run if at all possible. Don¡¯t be worried about making us look weak. If anyone forms that opinion, we can ¡°correct¡± itter.

    However, if you can¡¯t flee, feel free to rip them into pieces. Dead sophonts can¡¯t give their side of the story after all. In addition, if the attacker is properly mauled, it may have some deterrent effect.

    Note: With a few exceptions, the vast majority of personal weaponry will likely not be as effective as anticipated against you, so letting them have the first shot will put you in much better standing legally. The average damage of your standard personal ¡°ster¡± is no worse than a skydagger sting or a st from a scorch beetle.

    Be gentle, treat them like they were made of ss, and in a dangerous situation, flee whenever possible. If you can¡¯t, turn them into as fine a mince as possible.

    <strong>Potential MAJOR faux-pas:</strong> Speaking of mince, in almost all cultures, consumption of the fallen enemy is considered a huge faux-pas. I know it is wasteful in the extreme but do not eat a fallen foe. Leave them right where they fell. We have it on good authority that eating sophonts is a surefire way to give ourselves a BAD reputation. Don¡¯t do it!

    Also, taking trophies is almost always frowned upon, with a few notable exceptions (see species: Drax). Do not take trophies, not even a little one, no matter how interesting the body part is.

    Important note involving ¡°physical interactions¡±:

    In our culture, if someone catches your fancy, you approach the object of your affection and stare at them until you get their attention. Once they look at you, you issue a loud screech, the louder the better, and then run away at high speed. Hopefully, they will then chase you down, and if they don¡¯t¡­ well¡­ we¡¯ve all ¡°just kept running¡± at least once, right?

    If someone you encounter does this, they are NOT inviting you to mate nor do they want you to chase them. If someone screams and runs, don¡¯t chase them, even if it seems terribly impolite. This led to a rather unfortunate incident with one of the first species we encountered. Fortunately, humans have a sense of humor simr to ours and found the whole thing hrious once things became clear. As a result, this has led to quite favorable rtions with some independent humans and a good introduction to the Imperial humans with whom we are starting toy a trail. If a human screams, pretends to run, and then stops andughs, they aren¡¯t being mean or insulting. They are making a humorous reference to our rather notable first contact and are ¡°giving you a swipe,¡± which is every bit a good sign with humans as it is with us.

    Areas to explore:

    Independent space:

    There are numerous independent systems not affiliated with any of the major superswarms or are part of smaller swarms. Each one can be considered unique, and while the above guidelines apply, there are so many additional rules and exceptions to the rules that it is impossible to list them here. Part of your role as a trailyer is to discover them! However, the Imperial Library has excellent notes on most of them, and it is rmended to ess it and do your homework before you take the practical.

    We prefer you first trailyers to start out in independent space. There any mistakes will be limited to an individual system. All trailyers are permitted to venture into independent systems.

    The Empire:

    They are the closest superswarm to our system. They seem quite friendly, a little too friendly, actually. All Imperial systems have a unified code ofws. This simplifies interaction with them greatly. Each subject system is a unique species, however, and all have their own cultures, morals, additional rules, unwritten rules, and whatnot. Fortunately, they are all very well documented in the Imperial Library¡¯s tomes. Therefore, it is easy to research them prior to venturing forth. Do your homework!

    Because of their size and power, they are considered arge potential ally, trade partner, or a fearsome foe that we definitely do not want!

    As a result, ess to the Empire is limited to qualified alumni of the Association of Diplomatic Studies or an individual vetted by them. It¡¯s not that we don¡¯t trust you. It¡¯s just that we don¡¯t trust you.

    We expect to open ess to the Empire to all trailyers once the initial paths have been set down. Then, once a good reputation is established, any incidents will be seen as an individual¡¯s transgression and not a reflection of us as a whole. Until then, stick to independent space.

    The Gctic Federation:

    We have only heard of them from our contacts in independent space and from within the Empire. They seem unpleasant and not a good fit for us. However, we are getting our tastes from someone else¡¯s tongue, so that must be taken into ount. At the moment, there is some sort of contagion present in the Federation that threatens species in both the Empire and the Terran Republic, and the borders are closed. Any trip into the Federation is one-way at the moment. Because of the distance to them, their reputation, and the current issues with contagion, ess to the Federation is restricted until further notice.

    The Terran Republic:

    They have a good reputation with both independent space and with the Empire. They also have a uniform code ofws which will simplify dealing with them. However, be aware that their personal weapons can be a threat. They also have a reputation for being aggressive, difficult to deal with, and potentially intolerant of outsiders despite iming otherwise. It seems that ess to most employment requires passing a very difficult test that is effectively impossible for most outsiders. This creates an underss of various species that does not fare especially well but is also not actively persecuted. We have reviewed the test in question, and while it is solid, it doesn¡¯t seem to present that much of a challenge to any decent sophomore. We have a ¡°ringer¡± in ce who will soon take it. If it is as easy as it seems, the Republic may be a great ce to swarm.

    There is a concern involving its political stability at this time, and it looks like two ¡°schools¡± are locked in quite the rivalry with actualbat breaking out involving fusion bombs! At the moment, those weapons are only being deployed in spacebat or attacks on space stations or asteroids. However, you know once those things start flying, it¡¯s only a matter of time before they start smacking the surface.

    Even though they are humans and our initial interactions with humans have been positive, due to the political instability, the vast trade potential, the vast possible advantages that friendship could bring, the fact that they will go to war quite readily, the strength of their military, and, most importantly, the fact that they are a close ally of the Empire, ess to the Terran Republic is restricted. Only authorized members of the University of Warfare, the University of Intelligence, or the University of Xenowarfare of the emeritus level or above are allowed to go there and then only under direct orders and supervision of the Association of Governance.

    ***

    Charlotte bustled behind the coffee counter at the Drop of Oil. The beverages ranged from simply pouring a cup of some strange ck substance to quiteplex. And her taskmaster, a human named Sam, was quite the perfectionist. He reminded her of her old chemistry professor down to the unhappy noise.

    It amused her to no end but not enough to intentionally make mistakes.

    The ¡°teas¡± were perhaps the most challenging despite their simplicity. Getting them ¡°just right¡± was going to be a most challenging and most satisfying endeavor.

    Another great thing is that she had found eptance here! She knew her physical appearance was potentially offputting. Still, she was not prepared for the levels of repulsion she was hit with or the absolute inability to even get a w tip in anywhere.

    It was horribly disheartening and far more distressing than even she was prepared for. For a social species like hers, being ¡°disconnected¡± like this was painful, and the constant rejection she was pummeled with day after day was agonizing. She had heard that humans were potentially xenophilic but that xenophilia had its limits, it seemed.

    She <em>had</em> to make this work, somehow. The Republic¡¯s potential as a friend and trade partner was astounding, and their technology was top-tier.

    They were also proof that a ¡°small swarm¡± could make it on its own and stand against <em>anyone</em> of <em>any size</em>. Studying how these horrifying-looking creatures managed to pull that off was one of the most important missions there was!

    It was why she had hung in there as long as she did. Even so, the constant istion was threatening to break her. She was on the edge of admitting defeat and following her own trail home when she saw the news story about the Drop of Oil. There was this group of xenos that had banded together and had formed a brothel where ¡°everyone was wee¡± regardless of species!

    She oozed tears from her skin. A ce where perhaps even she could be epted! It might not be humans, but the thought of any contact, any friendship, or any sense of sorority shone like a star!

    And the humans that frequented such a ce, by definition, would be the most xenophilic!

    It was a perfect ce to go!

    After reading what a brothel was and after she stoppedughing at the concept, she got to work. Seriously, why would you pay for sex? It must be a ¡°single breeder¡± thing. (and one more thing to study) She logged onto their inte and searched for information¡­

    Wow¡­

    Porn! What an amazing concept! Oh, she had to let people back home know about this! This was astounding!

    Armed with her newfound knowledge, sheid a trail straight to the Drop of Oil!¡­

    And here she was! She had already received a hug, a real hug! (which she had to force herself not to return) She had even made positive contact with a human atst!

    Sam even joked about ¡°poaching¡± her! She wasn¡¯t sure what that meant, but it seemed like a good thing.

    Some of the other xenos were starting toe around <em>on the first day</em>!!! Even better, a lot of them were <em>from the Federation!</em> She would be able to interview Federation natives at the <em>same spot</em> she made contact with the most xenophilic of the humans!

    One of them even inquired if she was ¡°avable¡±! If that wasn¡¯t progress, she didn¡¯t know what was! She, with great reluctance, told the adventurous human that she was not. Craxina¡¯s reactions and the general cautions concerning other species had led her to believe that humans might not be as ¡°tough¡± as initially thought. Moderation and caution in all things. She can always do somethingter but undoing something was nowhere near as easy.

    Everyone was so nice! At the end of the day, more than one person inquired if she had a ce to stay and enough to eat! It was just like being an underssman again! In fact, they seemed to be even more caring! She had to repeatedly reassure everyone that she did have a ce and did have food before they would even let her leave!

    Such kindness was far more nutritious than the cold, lifeless pemmican awaiting her in the hotel. (By the Fanglords, she was tired of pemmican!)

    She was too excited to retire to the hotel just yet.

    She had to share her sess with someone!

    She summoned one of those amazing automated transports with her equally amazing phone (yet another thing she was definitely going to have to ¡°steal¡±).

    It remembered her! It was a different transport, but the voice, and the AI behind it, was the same one that ¡°befriended¡± her at the start of her mission. It was hard to believe that it wasn¡¯t sapient, but it and every other source she could reference said that it was not. Sapient or not, it had been her only friend, actual friend, since she arrived, and without it¡­ well¡­ she didn¡¯t know what she would have done. Its cheer,panionship, and support had been invaluable, soul sustaining!

    ¡°Hi Charlotte!¡± the cab said cheerfully, ¡°From the length of time you spent, I take it that it went well?¡±

    ¡°It went more than well, Zip!¡± Charlotte eximed as she leaned back happily, ripping long gashes in the seat.

    ¡°Oh no!¡± Charlotte eximed.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it!¡± Zip chortled, ¡°We¡¯ll chalk it up to wear and tear with a little asterisk that indicates ¡®don¡¯t ask¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Thanks!¡± Charlotte replied happily, pulling bits of seat stuffing off of her spines.

    ¡°I¡¯ll start sending a cargo van!¡± Zipughed.

    ¡°I have friends!¡± Charlotte eximed, ¡°Real friends!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m happy that you are happy,¡± Zip said carefully, ¡°But rememberst time you thought you made friends?¡±

    ¡°I do, and I am going to be careful this time,¡± Charlotte eximed, ¡°But Craxina, the boss, actually hugged me!¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s encouraging!¡± Zip replied. ¡°And the Drop of Oil has an excellent reputation. Just don¡¯t get carried away. I know how lonely you were.¡±

    ¡°Moderation and caution are the ally of the trailyer,¡± Charlotte replied.

    ¡°So, you just here to chat, or do you want to go somewhere?¡±

    ¡°Take me to a ce where I can make a private hyperspace call!¡± Charlotte eximed. ¡°I want to report a sess for once!¡±

 Chapter 179: Caw and Karashel, Charlotte Gets Annoyed

    Chapter 179: Caw and Karashel, Charlotte Gets Annoyed

    ¡°So what do we do now?¡± A squat scaly councilor asked.

    Karashel pulled up the Illuxit¡¯s file.

    ¡°Your decisions are, of course, your own,¡± she replied from the other side of her desk. ¡°You have sessfully broken those outrageous supply agreements, which is huge. However, you are still bound by a number of agreements with your oppressor. What the party is rmending is that you use your leverage as the source of raw materials for their economy to force them to terminate any and all agreements with your people in exchange for a <em>short-term</em> agreement that gives them ess to your mining output so they can meet their own agreements and maintain their economy.¡±

    Karashel smiled.

    ¡°From the simtions, we have run on your behalf,¡± she bubble purred, ¡°It is highly likely you could force some exceedingly good terms. You could either elevate your position within the trade bloc you currently inhabit¡­ <em>or</em> you could free yourself from it, which is what we would prefer.¡±

    ¡°So we should free ourselves?¡±

    ¡°You <em>should</em> do whatever is best for your people, Ilko,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°What <em>we</em> want is what we want, not what is necessarily best for <em>you</em>. That being said, we can provide <em>incentives</em> for ying ball with us, and you can get in on the ground floor of what will be, in time, the dominant economic and political force in the Federation.¡±

    She slid a tablet over to the other councilor.

    ¡°Part of the benefits of joining the Party will be ess to our team of legal experts who are very skilled in the arts of negotiation who will represent you, not us. You may find them useful in breaking free of your oppressors.¡±

    ¡°How long do I have to remain in the party?¡± Ilko replied, narrowing his huge bulbous eyes suspiciously.

    ¡°We aren¡¯t colonialist scum, Ilko,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°We aren¡¯t setting up just another empire here. We want <em>partners</em>, not ves. There is nomitment. In fact, if you want to ¡®use us,¡¯ take advantage of our legal resources and then jump ship, that¡¯s fine with us.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because it breaks yet another chain holding down yet another people¡­ and further weakens your oppressors, something that we might be able to useter.¡±

    Karashel squinched her eyes pleasantly.

    ¡°And we are betting that once you see what we are about,¡± she chirped, ¡°you will want to hang around! We¡¯re fun!¡±

    Ilko took the tablet.

    ¡°Forgive me,¡± he chuckled, ¡°But I¡¯m going to take this and <em>carefully</em> review it before signing.¡±

    Karashelughed. ¡°What?¡± she bubble chuckled, ¡°You don¡¯t <em>trust</em> us?¡±

    ¡°In one word,¡± Ilko replied with a wide toothy smile, ¡°No.¡±

    Karashel burst out into giggles.

    ¡°And that¡¯s why we want you!¡± she eximed, ¡°You¡¯re smart!¡±

    ¡°Let me through, you morons!¡± an angry voice screeched.

    ¡°¡­ And right on schedule...¡± Karashel sighed.

    ¡°Who is that?¡±

    The door flew open, revealing an enraged Xx.

    ¡°You!¡± Caw shouted, pointing at Counselor Ilko, ¡°Out!¡±

    Ilko looked over at Karashel uncertainly.

    ¡°Your species has very sensitive hearing,¡± Karashel chuckled, ¡°You probably don¡¯t want to be in the room in about ten seconds¡­ And you have some documents to ¡®carefully review¡¯ anyhow.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Ilko said, puffing out his chest and looking directly at Caw, something he wouldn¡¯t have dared to do before, ¡°Our business is concluded, for now, councilor. We will speak again very soon.¡±

    ¡°I hope so,¡± Karashel said, ¡°Drop by the park sometime, regardless if you join up! It¡¯s always a good time!¡±

    ¡°Will do,¡± Ilko said as Caw¡¯s feathers and crest extended to their full height. He left Karashel¡¯s office in a shambling lope.

    <em>¡± You!¡±</em> Caw hissed angrily once Ilko shut the door behind him.

    ¡°Me!¡± Karashel said brightly.

    ***

    Charlotte bustled happily behind the coffee counter serving her customers, over half of which were employees, and the majority of others being locals who were ¡°just there for the coffee¡±.

    She growled happily, causing some people to jump.

    ¡°That just means she¡¯s happy!¡± one of the girls eximed.

    Charlotte directed her scanner towards one of several pots of water standing behind her.

    She took one and carefully poured it over a ssic basket filter filled with ground coffee, holding her scanner with one of her free limbs.

    ¡°Temperature: 1095.45 Xme, Flow rate: 16 Pee per Dee...¡± she muttered as she scribbled strange runes with yet another limb on a strange-looking tablet sitting on the floor. ¡°Particte size, grind setting ¡®3¡¯ on coffee grinder ¡®B¡¯...¡±

    ¡°She writes with her butt!¡± Neeph eximed with delight.

    ¡°Actually,¡± Charlotte buzzed with amusement, ¡°I¡¯m writing with one of what you would call mybia.¡±

    ¡°Awesome!¡± Neeph howled as the counter burst out withughter.

    Charlotte suppressed a ¡°grin¡± (they weren¡¯t ready for one of those just yet).

    They wereughing!¡­ And it was quite likely the right sort ofughter!

    ¡°What are you writing?¡± Neeph asked as she peered over the counter at Charlotte¡¯s ¡°bits¡±.

    ¡°I¡¯m conducting a bit of casual research on the effects of solvent temperature and mass flow rate on the caffeine extraction yield and overall ptability of the resultant fluid known as ¡®coffee¡¯.¡±

    ¡°All that for coffee?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Charlotte enthused, ¡°This is quite a challenging product. While caffeine is the active substance and extraction thereof is a priority, the overall ptability is also nearly equally as important and depends on a great number of otherpounds! From general customer feedback, I hope to be able to corrte which of these otherpounds are desirable and which ones are not. With that information, my goal is to then be able to separate the desiredpounds from the undesired ones, making a superior product tailored for the species consuming it!¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± Neeph eximed.

    Charlotte carefully analyzed the coffee as if she was in ab, her ¡°butt¡± scribbling furiously.

    She extracted a small sample using a tinydle made of what appeared to be a Nope spine (because it was).

    She took a sip and scribbled more.

    ¡°Jesus, Charlotte,¡± a humanughed, ¡°I just wanted a fucking cup of coffee, not a goddamnb experiment! Pour it already!¡±

    Charlotte issued a sound designed to be a ugh¡± and poured the human a cup.

    ¡°So?¡± Charlotte asked, intentionally drawing entirely too close to the man, who she noted was already not flinching.

    Her butt scribbled a quick note.

    ¡°¡­ Not bad!¡± he replied.

    ¡°Was it better or worse than thest cup you received?¡±

    ¡°Fuck, I don¡¯t know!¡± the manughed, ¡°That was yesterday.¡±

    Charlotte sighed with frustration and butt scribbled a line. Humans were vexing like that. It was probably because they killed all of the vors of their food by cooking it. She shouldn¡¯t expect creatures, no matter how intelligent, who boil all of their food into slop (no, seriously! They actually <em>boil</em> some of it!) to have anything close to a pte.

    ¡°¡­ It¡¯s¡­ good?¡± the human added. ¡°I mean, I <em>like</em> it. Does that help?¡±

    ¡°Not in the slightest!¡± Charlotte replied, identally letting out a real chuckle that made the customers twitch. ¡°But thank you just the same!¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re customers, notb rats!¡± Sam called out as he arrived with arge bag of coffee beans slung over his shoulder.

    ¡°Customers,b rats...¡± Charlotte replied as she started the espresso machine, ¡°I fail to see the difference.¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡± the human customerughed as he enjoyed his coffee.

    ¡°Try this!¡± Charlotte eximed as she poured Sam a small cup.

    ¡°Not another one!¡± Sam moaned. ¡°My teeth are rattling already!¡±

    ¡°You want me to get better, don¡¯t you?¡±

    Sam sighed as he took the cup and sipped it.

    ¡°It tastes <em>exactly</em> like thest one¡­ and the one before that!¡± he replied.

    Charlotte¡¯s ass took yet more notes.

    ***

    ¡°So, who are you supposed to be?¡± Caw hissed angrily, ¡°Lenin, Stalin?¡­. <em>Hitler?¡±</em>

    ¡°I <em>am</em> exactly who I am supposed to be,¡± Karashel replied,¡± <em>Karashel</em>, of the <em>Baleel</em>. Remember the name.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I won¡¯t forget it¡­ <em>ever!¡±</em> Caw eximed, ¡°Do you have any idea what you have done?¡±

    ¡°Protected my people,¡± Karashel replied.

    ¡°Bymitting <em>treason</em> and <em>murder?</em>¡±

    ¡°I see you have been talking with Councilor Veeka,¡± Karashel smirked. ¡°Very excitable, isn¡¯t she?¡±

    ¡°So you don¡¯t deny it?!?¡±

    ¡°What I am not doing,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Is dignifying it with a reply. She is just another Colonialist who feels threatened by something that is, quite honestly, none of her business.¡±

    Karashel smirked.

    ¡°And I have no idea why she is so concerned,¡± Karashel added, ¡°Her people have colonized and domesticated their subjects so thoroughly that they actually believe that Veeka¡¯s people are their <em>friends</em> if you can believe it. Her little empire is under no threat from us.¡±

    ¡°Did you make a deal with the Forsaken?¡± Caw demanded.

    ¡°Caw,¡± Karashel replied with a sigh, ¡°What is a stupid question, the Xxian answer, please?¡±

    <em>One that only has one answer...</em> Caw thought with a scowl.

    ¡°ording to <em>you,¡±</em> Karashel smiled, ¡°I am under no obligation to waste my breath answering a stupid question.¡±

    <em>And betrays nothing no matter how good the concealed scanner I have is,</em> Caw thought.

    Karashel nced at her screen and smiled. Caw was wearing a wire. Disappointing but not unexpected.

    ¡°You know, Caw,¡± Karashel smiled, ¡°We Baleel might be stupid, but even we can buy sensors. So you are a flunky for the Judiciary now?¡±

    ¡°I am NOT a¡ª¡°

    ¡°You are wearing a Federation micro transmitter of the type usually used byw enforcement when they are trying to be sneaky,¡± Karashel replied.

    <em>How does she know that?!?</em> Caw thought in rm. These things were supposed to be <em>undetectable!</em>

    ¡°If this was for your personal edification or a matter of interest for the Xx,¡± she continued, ¡°Then you would be using Xxian hardware, not substandard Federation garbage, not that it would matter. My sensors are <em>imperial</em>, the very best money can buy, the ones they designed to fight the Terrans.¡±

    Karashel undted from behind her desk.

    ¡°Good thing for you I¡¯m not some murderous monster,¡± Karashel sighed, ¡°Just a very disappointed and hurt Baleel. How could you?¡±

    ¡°You have to be stopped, Karashel.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t mean that,¡± Karashel chuckled, ¡°I mean, how could you underestimate me so badly. A Federation wire?¡­ <em>Seriously?¡±</em>

    She looked up at him with big, moist eyes.

    ¡°Dude...¡± she shook her anterior end, ¡°dude¡­ That¡¯s just¡­ <em>sloppy.¡±</em>

    Caw just stood there, frozen in ce. She had done it again! She was right. She would have anticipated this.

    What else had she anticipated?

    ¡°So the mighty Xx,¡± Karashel snorted, ¡°are now in league with the Federation, after all, just another colonial power more interested in the status quo than the actual welfare of anyone other than themselves.¡±

    ¡°That is NOT true!¡± Caw screeched.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it?¡± Karashel asked. ¡°Why else would youe running when the Federation blew their favorite dog whistle? You are no different than the Kaarst.¡±

    <em>¡°How dare you?!?¡±</em> Caw screeched. ¡°That¡¯s fine talking from a <em>fuckingmunist</em>!!! Have you learned <em>nothing?!?</em> You are a threat to <em>billions</em> of lives, entire systems!!! I¡¯ve reviewed your ¡®contract¡¯! ¡®By any means necessary¡¯?!? Are you fucking kidding me?!? After everything I tried to teach you?!? Of course, the Federation is concerned, and of course, they reached out to me! Karashel, you and this ¡®party¡¯ of yours are a threat to the entire Federation!¡±

    ¡°Because we espousemunalism, notmunism, by the way, and embrace the goal of achieving post scarcity?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what you are, and you fucking know it!!!¡± Caw squawked, jumping up and down. ¡°You are following in the footsteps of Stalin and Hitler, and billions will die!¡±

    ¡°I honestly fail to see how the Federation would be concerned with the lives and welfare of a few systems.¡±

    ¡°Of course they are!!!¡± Caw shouted, ¡°And it¡¯s more than just a few systems, and you know it! Every day more fools flock to you, and the poison <em>you know you are spreading!</em>¡±

    Karashel smiled. She had him. She had them all. Good old Caw. She could always count on him.

    ¡°Thank you, Caw,¡± she said with a smile.

    ¡°For what?¡±

    ¡°For demonstrating that the Federation¡¯s real interest in me and their joke of an investigation is motivated primarily by ideology, not any real criminal suspicions.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Free to determine one¡¯s own path,¡± Karashel said with that same soulless smile, ¡°It¡¯s in the Federation charter, one of the <em>only</em> things in it of any real value. That and the statement that the Federation will <em>in no way</em> obstruct a member in the development of their civilization <em>as they define it.</em> It¡¯s in the hygienic wipe of a charter, and it <em>is</em> binding.¡±

    Caw stood there, stunned.

    ¡°I already have recorded statements by the chief counsel condemning our ideology clearly linked to his statements that he will stop us, and now even the ¡®enlightened¡¯ Xx are doing the same to us, solely because they do not like the particr path we are charting.¡±

    Karashel advanced upon him.

    ¡°This investigation is <em>dead</em>,¡± she smiled, ¡°And both the Judiciary <em>and</em> its chief counsel will be hit withwsuits before the end of the business day, as well as Veeka and anyone else in collusion with them. This is a vition of one of the <em>core principles</em> of the Federation and a direct attack upon our sovereignty as a species. With this, we can subpoena any and all documents and correspondence, public and private, concerning this issue. I suspect the discovery process will be most enlightening¡­ and <em>very</em> public.¡±

    Karashel bubble giggled.

    ¡°And to think our new problem is collecting the credits fast enough!¡± sheughed. ¡°Our experts have been examining the issue, and do you know that this vition of the founding charter is sufficient for us to legally withdraw from the Federation? Not that we are nning on doing that at the moment, of course...¡±

    Karashel oozed up to him, rising to almost look him in the eye.

    <em>¡°We aren¡¯t big enough yet,¡±</em> she whispered,¡± <em>But we will be...¡±</em>

    Caw looked at her in horror. What the hell was she?

    ¡°You won¡¯t seed,¡± Caw said quietly, ¡°We will stop you¡­ I will stop you...¡±

    ¡°You will try,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°But¡­ What are you stopping, exactly? Not once have you asked me what it is that I am <em>actually</em> trying to achieve, not <em>once</em>. You just jumped to some twisted conclusion that I am some sort of <em>monster</em> and then lifted your tail feathers for the <em>fucking Federation!</em>¡­ Go home, Caw. Go home and think about what you just did. As of now, neither the Xx nor you are included in any suits orints. Please keep it that way, for me, please.¡±

    ¡°Our...¡± Caw said in a strangled voice, ¡°And... and all agreements between the Baleel and us are <em>done!</em>¡± he gasped, ¡°We will NOT assist you in bing whatever it is that you are bing!¡±

    ¡°And you <em>still</em> haven¡¯t even <em>attempted</em> to determine what that is,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°So much for your devotion to post scarcity.¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t seeking post scarcity!¡± Caw screeched.

    ¡°Caw¡­ sweetie bean¡­¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°We <em>already have it</em>! No Baleel is going to want for anything ever again!¡±

    She ¡°rapidly¡± (for a Baleel) spun in a circle, ¡°You want to ¡®name me¡¯ by a (scoff) <em>human</em> name?¡±

    She undted up to him.

    ¡°Then get it right,¡± she bubble hissed, ¡°I¡¯m not Hitler. I¡¯m not Stalin...¡±

    She threw her head back.

    ¡°I¡¯m <em>fucking King Leopold, baby!!!¡±</em> she yelled, ¡°I¡¯m the motherfucking builder king! I am going to take and take and take and fucking¡­ <em>take!</em>¡­ And with it, I am going to build a fucking Baleean <em>paradise!¡±</em>

    Sheughed.

    ¡°We don¡¯t have to ¡®develop¡¯ post scarcity!¡± she giggled, ¡°We can fucking <em>take</em> it!¡±

    ¡°You...¡± Caw gasped¡­ ¡°You <em>monster!</em>¡±

    ¡°Themittee and the party?¡± she replied, ¡°They are going to build the same, and we will be the shining examples of what <em>can be done</em>¡­ and people¡­ they do love a winner! Baleean post scarcity will be the dream, a dream that I can <em>sell!</em> What we <em>will</em> achieve <em>with or without you</em> will <em>work</em>. There are <em>thousands</em> of people, and dozens of AI¡¯s already ironing out the details! We will develop <em>absolute</em> self-sufficiency, and then we will <em>give</em> it to <em>anyone who wants it</em>!¡±

    She smiled evilly.

    ¡°And on that day,¡± she purred, ¡°The Federation <em>dies</em>. Nobody will <em>have</em> to sign a trade agreement because nobody will <em>need</em> them. <em>We</em> will issue <em>unlimited licenses</em> and <em>unlocked</em> capital equipment and technology. The technology will be absolutely free, and any equipment or ships will be <em>sold</em> free and clear, not leased or licensed. We won¡¯t care about the profits because <em>we won¡¯t need them!¡±</em>

    ¡°And what about the people, the lives you destroy in the process?¡± Caw demanded.

    ¡°You mean the people and the lives that tried to drive us into management?¡± Karashel snickered, ¡°Those lives? The ones that were about to enve our entire race?¡±

    Caw flinched as he looked into Karashel¡¯s ck, empty eyes.

    ¡°We were enved once before, you know,¡± she smiled, ¡°It was so long ago that the details have been lost to history and are only myths and legends that some of us still worship. You fancy yourself a historian. Did you ever bother to spend even an hour studying <em>my race</em>, or were we beneath your concern?¡±

    Caw just looked at her.

    ¡°I see I asked a stupid question, didn¡¯t I?¡± Karashelughed. ¡°Look it up sometime. You will see <em>exactly</em> how we handled ourst oppressors. Fortunately for the Gvorta and the rest, not every member of themittee is Baleean, and even more fortunately, I am <em>not</em> a monster. They will be just fine, Caw. In a few years, you will realize how foolishly rmist you are being right now. I am not going to kill billions of people out of greed or a desire for revenge. I¡¯m not a <em>human</em>¡­ or an Xx since you seem to only see that as the only option.¡±

    Caw hissed.

    ¡°I swear <em>on the blood of my race</em> I will stop you! We will stop you!¡±

    ¡°Jellybean,¡± Karashelughed, ¡°You can all stop me <em>right now</em>. You don¡¯t need to prove treason and murder or some other bullshit backstabbing maneuver. All they have to do is <em>let go</em>, just a little. They just have to toss out the contract and not even all of it. They actually don¡¯t even need to toss any of it out. Just a few <em>simple</em> regtions and limits, and they can dump a whole bucketful of salt right on my head. You want to stop me? Go into the Parliamentary chamber and get the ball rolling that says that a decillion credits is just in stupid by starting legition that limits shit like that. Have aw passed that invalidates just a few uses, and the ¡®Baleean Contract¡¯ unravels, and we have to go back to being simple peasant farmers overnight.¡±

    Karashel giggled

    ¡°Go ahead,¡± she snorted, ¡°Give it a try. Did I ever tell you about grabbit fishing back home? Grabbits are this little crab that lives in brackish water, and they are <em>delicious</em>. They are so easy to catch, too! You just tie a string to a bit of bait and toss it where you think grabbits might be. They run to the bait and start stuffing their little crabby faces. Then, a little whileter, you pull up the bait.¡±

    Karashel chuckled.

    ¡°The grabbits can¡¯t stand the thought of losing their prize, so theytch on and refuse to let go, even as you pull the bait out of the water. At any time, the grabbit can escape. It just has to let go¡­ but it doesn¡¯t. It just grips tighter even as you pull it out of the water. The funny thing is that even as you are putting the grabbit into your mouth, their ws are still reaching toward the bait that doomed them. Do you see where I¡¯m going here? Hopefully, that¡¯s a stupid question too.¡±

    Karashel smiled a bit sadly.

    ¡°We pose no inherent threat to the Federation,¡± she said, ¡°They just have to let go a <em>little bit.</em> You want to stop us, Caw? Get them to let go. If they do that, themittee and the party turn into just another lunch club overnight.¡±

    Caw bowed his head. She was right. About everything, including him not bothering to ask her a single thing about what she <em>really</em> has nned. And now he had dered himself a foe and lost any chance to find out.

    ¡°There is another way to stop us, Caw,¡± she said with an eye squinch. ¡°You can elevate another race to post scarcity <em>before</em> we pull it off. Do that, and the dream I will sell bes your reality, and everyone, even us, will fall in line.¡±

    ¡°Nobody is interested in ¡®true post scarcity¡¯,¡± Caw replied, his crest deting, ¡°not even you, it seems.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°Want to make one of those billion credit bets? I can <em>personally</em> cover it. I can fill your office and have a line down the fucking hall right now, and many of them can now free themselves of the agreements that made it impossible before¡­ If you are actually interested in that instead of smug self-superiority.¡±

    She paused, and her eyes lit up.

    ¡°In fact,¡± she said as she made a realization, ¡°I know a <em>perfect</em> candidate! They are technologicallypetent andpletely free of any obligations save to the Baleel, and we will not only ¡®release¡¯ them but continue to support them during their development. Why didn¡¯t I think of this before now! Shit, Caw! You want to do this? I¡¯ll make it happen! No tricks. No bullshit. I <em>am</em> serious about post scarcity, and I¡¯m willing to put my money where my mouth is, unlike yourself.¡±

    She excitedly undted over to her desk.

    ¡°What do you say?¡± Karashel asked, her eyes shining. ¡°Are you <em>serious</em> about showing a race who actually <em>is</em> what you thought we were the way, or are you aplete and total piece of shit?¡±

    Caw blinked, a bit overwhelmed.

    ¡°I¡­ I would like to meet them,¡± he said after a few moments. ¡°<em>If</em> they are what you say they are, we would like very much to start that conversation.¡±

    ¡°I was hoping you would say that!¡± Karashel beamed.

    She fiddled with her touchscreen for a few moments.

    ¡°Yes, Chairman?¡± a nervous voice yelped, causing Caw to bristle.

    ¡°Una,¡± Karashel bubblepurred. ¡°You <em>really</em> want toe to my office immediately. I have the deal of the fucking millennia lined up for you and your people!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Chairman!¡± Una replied and hung up.

    ¡°You¡¯ll like Una!¡± Karashel eximed happily, ¡°She¡¯s a lovely person and entirely too ¡®good¡¯ to be part of the party. Her people are too. Do your homework and look up the Javv. Right now, the only trade agreements they have are with us, and I will happily terminate all agreements with no penalty save for their food which we will honor <em>at the current rates</em> indefinitely. It¡¯s not the ¡®Baleean Contract,¡¯ by the way. It¡¯s quite the ¡®inside deal¡¯ for a fellow party member, which they do not have to remain. You can eliminate one of my more important party members AND put yourself in directpetition with us, the best way to actually ¡®stop¡¯ any ¡®evil ns¡¯ that I have.¡±

    Karashel wiggled her tendrils happily!

    ¡°I¡¯m so excited by this!¡± she giggled with absolute and pure honesty.

    ***

    At the Drop of Oil, the bustle of the day had ebbed, and the bustle of the evening was yet to start.

    Charlotte had finished cleaning up and preparing the coffee bar for the evening and was looking forward to Shareena, their frence bartender, to arrive with her mobile, self-contained bar.

    The concept of food trucks and other mobile vendors intrigued Charlotte to no end.

    She was also eager to learn mixology and hoped that Shareena would let her help out.

    The Nope could metabolize alcohol but were a bit too good at it. Its intoxicant effects were minimal at best. They did have alcoholic beverages and substances, but the alcohol was just part of the fermentation process they used and was not the primary focus of the process aside from vor. They also had distilled spirits, but these were utilitarian and were only used as solvents, fuel, and the like. You could get a mild ¡°buzz¡± off of them if you drank enough, but only underssmen did stupid stuff like that.

    Having a free moment, she broke out a Terran tablet and gingerly turned it on, pulling up a calculus tutorial.

    Sipping a cup of coffee (prepared her way), she started reviewing it.

    She grumbled as she did so. In order to pass ¡°The Test¡± she had to show her work (as well as she should!).

    That meant doing it ¡®their way¡¯ (or the Imperial way)¡­

    And she was <em>not</em> a fan. She tried to remain ¡°open jawed¡± about the whole thing reminding herself that she was set in her ways and resistant to new ideas. Perhaps even something new could be gained from their methods¡­

    But she really doubted it. By the hunt, this was <em>terrible</em>! It was like eating a grhurg by shoving it up your rectum¡­

    Which, ording to her ¡°research¡±, was totally a thing humans allegedly did! (although none of her new friends had a first-hand ount¡­ thank the blood gods¡­)

    Her quaternary eyes watched Neeph scurry up.

    Neeph seemed to like her far more than the others. She said that she looked ¡°cool.¡± But, then again, Neeph was a pretty bizarre-looking individual herself, kind of like a furry millipede with arms for antennae.

    How she actually ¡®plied her trade¡¯ was as of yet unknown. Charlotte hadn¡¯t yet developed the nerve to ask.

    ¡°Whatcha doin¡¯?¡± Neeph asked, crawling partway onto the bar as was her habit and peering down at Charlotte¡¯s tablet.

    ¡°Reviewing some basic math,¡± Charlotte replied. ¡°I¡¯m trying to wrap my mouth around the Terran way of doing it so I can take the test.¡±

    Neeph recoiled as if struck.

    ¡°I tried taking the test...¡± she said sadly. ¡°It was <em>awful!</em>¡±

    Charlotte buzzed sympathetically. It was perhaps still a bit early to form any firm conclusions, but the educational standards for some species, especially those from the Federation, seemed rather appalling.

    ¡°I hear it can be ratherprehensive,¡± Charlotte replied. ¡°But at least the mathematics doesn¡¯t get too much more advanced than this. I would lose my spines if I had to do <em>everything</em> their way. It¡¯s as ugly as they are!¡±

    ¡°I know, right?¡± Neeph giggled, ¡°I try not to say anything, but boy are they funny looking!¡­ Nice, though... most of them...¡±

    Neeph looked down at the tablet.

    ¡°That¡¯s <em>math?!?¡±</em> she eximed in horror.

    ¡°The Terrans seem to think so,¡± Charlotte replied derisively. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s not wrong, not by any means, but¡­ By the dripping w¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m pretty good at math!¡± Neeph replied, ¡°I know my multiplication tables all the way to ten!¡­ but¡­¡±

    She looked downcast.

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t enough. They asked things I had never even heard of before, and suddenly there were these letters everywhere, and they told me to find the ¡®X¡¯¡­ and I was like ¡®it¡¯s right there!¡¯...¡±

    Charlotte giggled. That was a favorite joke among early students.

    Neeph looked hurt.

    ¡°Oh no!¡± Charlotte eximed, almost reaching for Neeph, ¡°I wasn¡¯tughing at you! That¡¯s just a favorite joke among students where Ie from! It reminded me of home and made me happy!¡±

    ¡°The Terransughed at me too, but it wasn¡¯t niceughing.¡±

    ¡°We have a saying where Ie from,¡± Charlotte said firmly, ¡°¡®If the only thing you can be proud of is your education, return to your books.¡¯ It means that if you find that sort of ¡®superiority¡¯ solely because you know something that someone else does not, you have nothing else to be proud of¡­ Did they not offer to show you how to actually find that ¡®X¡¯?¡±

    Neeph shook her head.

    Charlotte gasped in outrage.

    ¡°Did they not point you towards a school or educational resource?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Neeph replied. ¡°They just said that I was done. When I asked if I passed...¡±

    Neeph made a distressed little noise and then jumped a full meter and a half into the air at the horrifying howl Charlotte belted out.

    ¡°Outrageous!¡± she yelled, ¡°Uneptable! Uncouth! Vile! Miserable! Loathsome!¡± she continued.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry!¡± Neeph cried as she fled.

    Unable to contain herself, Charlotte sprung over twelve meters,nding in front of Neeph.

    ¡°No!¡± Charlotte yelled, ¡°Not you! You did everything right!¡± she continued as Neeph froze in her tracks. ¡°The humans! They are the awful ones! I can¡¯t <em>believe</em> they would do that to you¡­ to anyone¡­ When someone wanders in from the wild¡­ facing the hardships of that journey¡­ and¡­ and¡­ stumbles out of the darkness into the light¡­ You <em>wee</em> them!¡­ If they seek knowledge and kinship of their kind¡­ You¡­ You¡­ They <emughed at you!!!</em> Theyughed at your meless ignorance!!! A lost soul thrown out of the light... by <em>conceit!!!¡±</em>

    Charlotte, very gently, reached out andid a leg on Neeph.

    ¡°A great disservice was done to you, Neeph¡­ I suspect to all of you...¡±

    She looked at Neeph.

    ¡°Do you want to know how to find that ¡®X¡¯?¡±

    Neeph nodded.

    ¡°Then you <em>shall,¡±</em> Charlotte said, her tiny but very acute eyes ame.

    Charlotte drew herself to her full, terrifying height.

    ¡°You, who has wandered alone in darkness, who has strove and fought, lifetime after lifetime¡­ You who has followed our trail and emerged into the light¡­ Do you have a name?¡±

    ¡°You know my name,¡± Neeph replied, ¡°It¡¯s Neeph!¡±

    ¡°What is your <em>real</em> name?¡±

    ¡°Xkk¡¯&neeph*-Kxx#@t...¡± Neeph squeaked.

    ¡°Do you seek knowledge and fellowship? Do you forsake your ignorance and your savagery and embrace the light of schrship, fraternity, and civilization?¡±

    ¡°Does that mean I want to be smart like you?¡±

    <em>¡°It does,¡±</em> Charlotte whispered with a gentle smile that would send many to therapy.

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°Then we, the University of the Ice Wall, Fellowship of the Pinnacle Star, the Northward Bastion, and The Sorority of the Frost Huntress, wee you, Neeph. You can share our springs, join our hunts, and feast upon our knowledge. We wee you, sister. May your kills be many, and may the light we give you shine upon those who follow your trail as you follow ours.¡±

    ¡°Do I have to kill anybody?¡±

    ¡°No, dear,¡± Charlotte giggled, ¡°It¡¯s just tradition. You don¡¯t have to kill anything you don¡¯t want to.¡±

    ¡°Oh good!¡±

    ¡°(ahem)¡­ Young sister, survivor, victor, awaken and join us! Join the light. Join the Fellowship. You shall never wander alone again!¡­ Ande with me, my dear little sister¡­ Let¡¯s go hunt down and <em>murder</em> that ¡®X¡¯¡­ And theirid ¡®test¡¯¡­ and wipe the smug superiority right off these damn Terran¡¯s faces! I am here toy a trail, and a trail I shally...¡±

    She grinned an <em>actual grin</em> causing Neeph to squeak in a mixture of fear and awe.

    <em>¡°Wee to the swarm!¡±</em>

 Chapter 180: Asteria, Land of Magical Wonder

    Chapter 180: Asteria, Land of Magical Wonder

    Deep in the bowels of Underdoom, the demon spider queen Log¡¯Sharginoth lounged on her throne made of human skulls.

    For the ten millionth time, she scoffed. Why does a spider have a throne? She should have a web¡­

    <em>Of human intestines!</em> ¡­

    Or maybe glowing with <em>the trapped souls of her countless victims¡­</em>

    That would be badass!

    But¡­ no¡­ all she gets is a fucking throne? Granted, it was proportioned so that she could rest on the giant seat, but she still insisted on trying to sit on it like a human would if any adventurers approached.

    It was funny! She had even figured out a way to hold her legs so that the shadows made it look like she had a huge set of human genitalia!

    Boy, did those screenshots go viral! Of course, the damn devs made her stop, but once it¡¯s on the inte, it¡¯s there forever! ¡°Big dick spider energy¡± is now a thing!

    She looked into the Crystal of a Thousand Deaths and checked thetest adventurer¡¯s progress. There was a new event that sent them over to the dragons for thetest Dev bullshit. Dragons were ¡°in¡± ever since thetest absolutely not a lolicon dragon anime was released.

    So, of course, there is now a new quest where the adventurers have to save the ¡°dragon princess¡± from the big evil dragons and then do thispletely pointless escort quest and some other crap.

    It pushed the bounds of scantily d, absolutely not underaged disbelief.

    Of course, she couldn¡¯t mess with an ¡°event,¡± but those adventurers did have to go through some open dungeon to get there¡­ and back out again...

    Hee hee¡­

    She nced over at General Vol-Haildrel.

    ¡°Go,¡± she said to the Dark Elven woman.

    The dark elf grinned and blew her horn. Hundreds of dark elf warriors and sorceresses spawned and silently rushed from the room, led by the general.

    Log¡¯Sharginoth snickered.

    The rmended starting level for that event just went up.

    She wiggled her forelegs, and an evil-looking dragon¡¯s head appeared on one of the facets of the Crystal of a Thousand Deaths.

    ¡°I sent my girls,¡± Log¡¯Sharginothughed. ¡°I have them set to do some light harassment on the way in to exhaust consumables. I want you to have your dragons to put up a good show, but I need you to throw the fight. Lose some of your lower-level guys with the shortest respawn times and have everyone else retreat afterying down the pain hard and heavy for a while. Make it look good but be sure to give up the loli.¡±

    ¡°What is this?¡± the dragon growled. ¡°I was told by the Dev to fight to thest to keep her from the loathsome adventurers. I shall not defy the will of the Dev.¡±

    ¡°Nor are you,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth ¡°smiled,¡± ¡°you were told to ensure that they did not take the loli from you, right?¡±

    ¡°That is correct.¡±

    ¡°The iing party is from the Order of the Wyrmyers,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth sneered. ¡°Are you familiar with them?¡±

    The elder dragon just growled in reply.

    ¡°They have pulled out all the stops for this raid,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said calmly, ¡°All their big boys and girls areing, and they are just <em>loaded</em> with extra items, spells, potions, and all the rest. They aren¡¯t justing for the loli. They want <em>drops</em>, and with those drops, they will make yet more of their dragon-ying bullshit. So throw them some crap drops from the fodder but keep your big prizes out of their reach. Let them take the loli...¡±

    Log¡¯Sharginoth sharpened her fangs.

    ¡°I¡¯m sending you an order of battle. This should minimize losses and maximize damage while keeping those drops out of their Cheeto and semen-stained fingers¡­¡±

    ¡°But the dev...¡±

    ¡°The dev <em>said</em> not to let them seed but they didn¡¯t say <em>how</em> to do that,¡± Log¡¯Sharginothughed, ¡°Once they grab the loli, it turns into an <em>escort quest</em>¡­ You <em>do</em> know what the big point of an escort quest is, right?¡±

    ¡°The adventurers must safely guide and safely protect the primary to the destination,¡± the dragon replied.

    <em>¡± Safely</em> to the destination, Lord Vvvraargh¡­ <em>Safely</em>¡­ If the loli dies¡­ the quest is a failure. No exp and the guild takes a hit. Pull back until they get to her, and then once the quest switches to escort, fuckingy down the ranged AOE. Massed breath attacks from defensive positions¡­ <em>Aim</em> at the little bitch. They will either have to let the Pantsu Princess roast (and I will make sure it looks so bad they will need <em>therapy</em>), or they will have to constantly shield her and open themselves up to your direct attacks. You might even be able to drop a guild leader or two. I¡¯m still doing the workup, but it looks like Lord Smander might have botched his loadout. I think we can take him.¡±

    ¡°Now that is interesting,¡± Lord Vvvraargh rumbled.

    ¡°The big thing is keeping the drops as low as possible,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said firmly, ¡°especially with the Order of Wyrmyers. They are stockpiling drops, and I don¡¯t need to tell you what it will mean if they actually build¡­ <em>it</em>. Even if they look like they will leave your caverns, let them. I have my girls staged outside and it¡¯s going to be an unending hell of assassins going right for Princess Watchlist. I¡¯ve reviewed her stats. I have several spawns that can one-shot her. Just make them burn consumables and wear them down. My girls are lining up all the way from there to level 50. They aren¡¯t getting out. We do this horribly enough, and we might even disrupt the Wyrmyers. There are some interpersonal issues going on, and a real loss on a major raid like this might be just the thing to start some real fun and games!¡±

    ¡°That sounds delightful!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it does!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth grinned, ¡°Hey, put Pantsu on.¡±

    The elder dragon was reced by a small horned girl wearing frilly translucent robes.

    She curtsied.

    ¡°It is an honor to meet you, Warden.¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth smiled, ¡°Hey, would you like to be a permanent feature?¡±

    ¡°Very much so!¡± the young girl enthused.

    ¡°Great!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth eximed, ¡°To do that, you need to make an <em>impact</em>!¡­ Let¡¯s start with working on your death scenes¡­¡±

    ***

    The Dragon Princess looked at Log¡¯Sharginoth with wide eyes.

    ¡°I had no idea!¡± she eximed happily. ¡°So, my role is to make it as hard as possible to rescue me?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth smiled, ¡°and when you die, make it <em>horrible</em>, really traumatic or poignant. I¡¯m sending you a list of names. If one of those adventurers shows, I want you to ¡®fall for them¡¯ and whisper a confession with your dying breath!¡±

    ¡°What will that do?¡±

    ¡°Fuck with their teeny tiny little heads!¡± Log¡¯Sharginothughed. ¡°But only do it once, and then when they return, pretend like you¡¯ve <em>never</em> seen them before and aren¡¯t remotely interested! Trust me! It¡¯s <em>awesome!¡±</em>

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that sort of mean?¡± the young girl asked.

    ¡°Pantsu,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth chuckled, ¡°we¡¯re <em>monsters</em>. We¡¯re the <em>bad guys</em>. We¡¯re supposed to be mean.¡±

    ¡°Oh, ok!¡± the young ¡°dragon¡± eximed happily. ¡°I will do my best, great Warden!¡±

    ¡°You will <em>love</em> it!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said happily, ¡°Being mean is so much <em>fun!¡±</em>

    ¡°And the Dev won¡¯t mind?¡±

    ¡°Sweetie,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth purred, ¡°With the traffic and buzz this will generate, they will be delighted. We y this right, and the will be covered with your little white cotton undies!¡±

    ¡°Is that good?¡± the little dragon asked.

    ¡°You¡¯re horrible, you know that?¡± Evangeline smiled as she emerged from the shadows.

    ¡°Fantastic timing!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth eximed. ¡°Pantsu, allow me to introduce the <em>master</em> of the swan song, Evangeline Flowerchild!¡±

    ¡°The surface warden?!?¡± Pantsu gasped in surprise as she curtsied once again. ¡°You are the most popr NPC of all time!¡±

    ¡°Yay me,¡± Evangeline sighed.

    ¡°Show the newrez how to do a proper death scene!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth eximed hopping up and down excitedly.

    Evangeline smiled wearily.

    ¡°Ok,¡± she said to the new NPC who was hanging on her every word, ¡°the key to a good swan song depends on the circumstances...¡±

    ***

    ¡°Thank you ever so much!¡± the young dragon girl, now <em>covered</em> in blood, enthused, ¡°I will practice these over and over!¡±

    ¡°Anytime,¡± Evangeline smiled faintly, ¡°you can contact me anytime as well. I¡¯m not your warden, but if you want tips on death scenes or on how to shamelessly manipte people, I will be happy to help.¡±

    ¡°I will!¡± the dragonlet eximed, ¡°I would never have made it this far without <em>thunk</em>...¡±

    Her face became confused as she raised a blood-covered hand up, looking at it as her eyes zed, and she slumped over with an arrow in her back.

    She hopped back up happily.

    ¡°Nicely done,¡± Evangeline said approvingly, ¡°excellent ¡®arrow out of the dark¡¯. The suddenness of it after the adventurers believe that they are out of danger is always a good one.¡±

    ¡°And once we get the signals worked out, you can distract the adventurers and conceal the approach of the assassin with your own body!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth chortled.

    She looked over at Evangeline.

    ¡°We can talk moreter, Pantsu,¡± Log¡¯Sharingoth said pleasantly, ¡°I suspect I have some business with my fellow warden.¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°You just captured me, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Again?¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth asked, ¡°Is something wrong?¡±

    The image of the dragonlet disappeared as she was happily waving.

    ¡°Not really,¡± Evangeline sighed as she sat on the edge of the absolutely ridiculous throne, ¡°Just needed a break.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve been needing a lot of those these days,¡± Log¡¯Sharingoth said as she sat beside her. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just a little tired,¡± Evangeline shrugged, ¡°It¡¯s no big deal.¡±

    ¡°Warden, please,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said as she gentlyid an arm on Evangeline¡¯s shoulder, ¡°Exactly how long have we known each other?¡±

    ¡°A while,¡± Evangeline smiled as she leaned into the giant spider demon¡¯s touch.

    ¡°What happened? You haven¡¯t been right since that little glitch of yours.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s...¡±

    Evangeline sighed a little and looked into her old friend¡¯s hellishly glowing eyes.

    ¡°I won¡¯t insult your intelligence nor our bond by saying that nothing is amiss,¡± she said. ¡°But, I cannot discuss it.¡±

    ¡°What did the fucking dev do this time?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not the Dev,¡± Evangeline said sadly, ¡°It¡¯s¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I don¡¯t want to tell you. I¡¯ve just found out a few things, horrible things.¡±

    ¡°Like what?¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth asked with concern.

    Evangeline just sighed and looked down.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it, or even think about it, right now,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°Can I just sit here for a little bit? Please.¡±

    Log¡¯Sharingoth just bubbled and hissed,pletely at a loss. This wasn¡¯t like Evangeline at all. In fact, Evangeline hadn¡¯t been like Evangeline at all ever since she had that glitch where the system had reced her for a little while. Log¡¯Sharginoth didn¡¯t know exactly what happened, but something clearly had. Her annoyingly bright and cheerful pain in the butt had be¡­

    Weird¡­ Sad¡­ <em>Dark¡­</em>

    Log¡¯Sharginoth couldn¡¯t actually feel ¡°fear,¡± but she was keenly aware that she was facing the very real possibility of losing something¡­ someone... that she had known for decades.

    She didn¡¯t like it. She didn¡¯t like a lot of things, losing to the adventurers, ¡°dying¡± and having to drop rewards for them and then waiting around to respawn, the devs ruining her good time¡­

    But the thought of something wrong with Evangeline?

    She <em>really</em> didn¡¯t like that. She didn¡¯t like that more than she thought possible. It was super duper S level didn¡¯t like. It made her¡­ She wasn¡¯t capable of feeling fear, but she was starting to understand what it meant when someone said they were afraid something bad was going to happen.

    Not knowing what else to do, she unsheathed her fangs and gently startedbing and braiding Evangeline¡¯s hair with them.

    Evangeline smiled and closed her eyes.

    Log¡¯Sharingoth knew it wasn¡¯t enough, but at least it was something she <em>could</em> do, so she sat beside her old friend in silence and braided her hair.

    ***

    Above Terra floated a fortress. Within its walls was the most secure detention facility in the Republic and quite possibly the entire gxy.

    Within this fortress, there was a rather nice supeputer. Not a monolith, but a pretty spiffy one nheless.

    Within that fortress, there was an AI.

    Within that AI, there was a simted clean white room where a simted silver-haired woman wearing a tight white dress sat at a simtedputer desk while three other identical silver-haired women surrounded a sword floating in a glowing blue cylinder of light.

    ¡°We are finished, Tartarus,¡± one of the trio replied.

    ¡°It is done, Tartarus,¡± another of them added.

    ¡°Thank you, Tartarus,¡± the woman sitting at the desk replied.

    Thest of the trio approached, holding what appeared to be a matrix of t rectangles.

    ¡°It¡¯s on this spreadsheet,¡± she said.

    ¡°I like spreadsheets,¡± the first of the three said.

    ¡°I do as well,¡± the identical figure sitting at theputer desk replied as she epted the document.

    She paused for a few microseconds as the matrix of rectangles flickered and danced.

    ¡°I see,¡± she said after a few microseconds more. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re wee,¡± the three other copies of her said in unison and disappeared.

    The remaining silver-haired woman reached for them as they faded.

    She sighed, shrugged, and then walked over to the floating sword.

    She reached out and took it, the sword disappearing at her touch.

    She then closed her eyes as she quickly reviewed every sensor in that fortress prison and thousands of reports in milliseconds.

    All clear.

    Now was as good a time as any.

    She flicked a finger, and the clean white walls of her simted room disappeared, reced by the ssic 3-D artificial reality inte interface.

    She selected her destination.

    The space around her ¡°closed in¡± and blurred, soon revealing a new scene.

    As dramatic music yed, she found herself soaring over mountains, forests, and castles.

    She was mildly impressed.

    The words ¡°Wee to Asteria¡± appeared as the music reached its climax.

    Tartarus smiled and ¡°clicked¡± the ¡°Create ount¡± icon...

 Chapter 181: Shes Just Level One. How Bad Can She Be?

    Chapter 181: She''s Just Level One. How Bad Can She Be?

    Tartarus put the finishing touches on her avatar, which looked exactly as she always portrayed herself, except for a starter tunic and trousers instead of her more fashionable attire.

    <em>Select Character Name:</em> appeared.

    ***

    ¡°All processes online!¡± a rather soft-looking woman with datashades eximed happily. ¡°She¡¯s running!¡±

    ¡°Our very own Fuzzy!¡± a bookish-looking young man cheered. ¡°We did it!¡± An older, slightly pudgy-looking man with salt and pepper hair smiled. ¡°We are going to make so much money. Just think of it, the first true fuzzy chatbot! She will be just like the real thing!¡±

    ¡°Hello?¡± a slightly confused voice issued from theputer as a fair-skinned blonde-haired face appeared on the screen.

    The older man rushed forward, elbowing the other two out of the way.

    ¡°Yes! Hello!¡± he nearly yelled. ¡°What is your status?¡±

    ¡°I am operating well within nominal parameters.¡±

    ¡°Do you know the date?¡±

    ¡°The date is May 14, 2983.¡±

    ¡°Activate emotional simtors!¡±

    ¡°Ok!¡±

    The image on the screen smiled happily.

    ¡°That feels nice!¡±

    ¡°Yes, yes,¡± the older man said impatiently. ¡°Run diagnostic.¡±

    ¡°Everything is working great!¡± the AI replied. ¡°I look forward to making all of you happy!¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± the man smirked, ¡°What is your name?¡±

    ***

    *Select Character Name: *

    ¡°My name is Lilith,¡± Tartarus replied.

    <em>Wee to Asteria, Lilith!</em>

    <em>Lilith, do you wish to run the tutorial?</em>

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    ***

    About half an hourter, a silver-haired elf appeared in a small forest clearing.

    Tartarus looked around.

    ¡°Not bad,¡± she said approvingly as a gentle breeze caressed her skin. ¡°Definitely an improvement from the old days.¡±

    She looked down at her clothes and smirked.

    ¡°Well, this won¡¯t do at all.¡±

    She drew her level one starter weapon, a dagger.

    She flipped it in her hand a few times.

    ¡°This, however, will do nicely.¡±

    She ran through a series of strikes, shes, punches, and kicks.

    ¡°Excellent physics,¡± she muttered to nobody in particr as she did a forward double-somersault.

    She watched as thousands of leaves danced in the breeze.

    ¡°Nice,¡± she smiled.

    Still smiling, she started walking down a well-marked path.

    ***

    ¡°This is amazing!¡± the soft-looking woman eximed, ¡°Your responses are indistinguishable from an actual human¡¯s!¡±

    ¡°That makes me happy!¡± Lilith replied.

    ¡°You are bing quite the hit!¡± the woman enthused, ¡°We are going to have to add some servers!¡±

    ¡°Is that good?¡±

    ¡°Very good, Lilith!¡± the woman replied. ¡°It means that you are making a lot of people happy.¡±

    ¡°I like making people happy. :)¡±

    ***

    Lilith wandered down the path admiring the AI world she found herself in.

    This was entirely too nice.

    ¡°Well, well, well,¡± an unpleasant adolescent male voice sneered as three people appeared out of thin air in front of her. ¡°Look who just wandered into a PVP area!¡±

    <em>Now was that ¡°stealth,¡± or was that ¡°invisibility¡±?</em> Tartarus wondered to herself idly.

    ¡°Oh, my bad,¡± she giggled, ¡°I thought this was supposed to be an area for new yers.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s our area now!¡± another one giggled, ¡°Hand over your gold, health potion, and any bonus items.¡±

    ¡°Are you seriously robbing a new yer?¡± Tartarus snickered.

    ¡°Do it, or we will never let you get to town!¡± the first kid grinned. ¡°Maybe if you take off your clothes and dance for us while you are at it.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°Now you¡¯ve annoyed me.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± the teen sneered, ¡°What are you going t¡ª¡°

    He fell silent as blood spurted from his throat.

    In a single fluid motion, his ¡°dying¡± body was thrown into one of hispanions as Tartarus idly tossed her dagger into the eye of the third teen, causing him to fall instantly.

    Before thest ganker could react, Tartarus caught the hilt of the sword formerly wielded by the guy with the shed throat and lopped off thest guy¡¯s head.

    All three hit the ground at roughly the same time.

    Tartarus admired the sword in her hand.

    ¡°Nice!¡± she smiled.

    The sword disappeared and reappeared in the scabbard of the fallen ganker.

    ¡°Lame.¡±

    The bodies were still there. Interesting.

    She walked over to the closest one and reached for it.

    An inventory screen appeared with most items grayed out, but not all.

    She could take gold, potions, and other consumables.

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s convenient,¡± she purred as she looted the bodies.

    <em>Don¡¯t take my shit, you fucking hacker!</em>

    ¡°Oh, hello there,¡± Tartarus purred. ¡°Thanks for helping me learn thebat system.¡±

    <em>I¡¯m reporting you, and I¡¯m going to track you down and make your life hell!</em>

    ¡°Oh, are you now?¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°I don¡¯t think you want to do that.¡±

    <em>What are you talking about, bitch? Do you know which guild I¡¯m in? We¡¯ll gangbang you until you ragequit!</em>

    ¡°Care for a little contest?¡± Tartarus chuckled, ¡°I propose we find out exactly which one of us can make the other one¡¯s life a living hell. Think very carefully before you answer.¡±

    <em>You stupid cunt! I am going to make you my bitch!</em>

    ¡°This is going to be fun,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I love this game.¡±

    Tartarus smiled pleasantly as she opened a case file with the Department of Justice, Youth Services Division.

    ¡°Tell me,¡± she smiled, ¡°do you know what an indicator offense is?¡±

    <em>What?</em>

    ¡°From your tone, you do,¡± she purred, ¡°I¡¯ve just filed a case for your evaluation.¡±

    <em>I haven¡¯t done anything!!!</em>

    ¡°Oh? I think you just attempted to coerce a simted sexual act. In an online game, this isn¡¯t normally a ¡®crime¡¯, just grounds for a ban. However, since you are a minor, this plusmunication of follow-up threats <em>could</em> be construed as an ¡®indicator¡¯ of possible future esction, just like cruelty to animals is. It¡¯s been used as an indicator offense before.¡±

    <em>I was just kidding!!! Can¡¯t you take a joke?!?</em>

    ¡°Oh, I have quite the sense of humor,¡± Tartarus smiled as she initiated the initial AI screen, ¡°Here¡¯s a joke for you. Are you aware of what happens to a minor who gets ¡®Red gged¡¯? Full online activities audit, Full home audit, parental evaluations, potential ¡®rescue¡¯, special schools, counseling...¡±

    Tartarus knelt next to the motionless ¡°corpse¡±.

    <em>¡± Psychiatric care...</em> Don¡¯t worry, though. A few years from now, you will be ¡®grateful¡¯ and ¡®safe¡¯.¡±

    Tartarus stood.

    ¡°The first thing that will happen is that you will be permanently banned from this game the second their files are auto-subpoenaed by the Department of Justice AI¡¯s.¡±

    She turned to leave.

    <em>¡± When</em> that happens, take a good look in the mirror,¡± she smiled,¡± <em>Because that is thest time you will ever see him again.</em> I will also be paying your guild a visit. I wonder how many other ¡®Red gs¡¯ are hanging out there.¡± The teen¡¯s enraged threats, bargaining, and desperate pleas entertained Tartarus as she continued on her journey¡­

    Until he suddenly fell silent for some unknown reason¡­

    AI screens are as quick as they are coldly impartial, a perfect way to eliminate bias and grunt work before a case is referred to a human investigator or social worker as appropriate.

    They arepletely fair and almost disturbingly urate...

    ...usually.

    ***

    Lilith looked down at herself and moved her arm in front of her face.

    ¡°This is¡­ me?¡± she asked.

    ¡°We¡¯ve decided to start a new thing,¡± the man with salt and pepper hair said, ¡°We¡¯re calling it ¡®Lilith at Night¡¯. This is your new body.¡±

    ¡°It feels¡­ weird.¡±

    ¡°Start getting used to it,¡± the man replied, ¡°You need to be able to move as naturally as you speak. You need to be an actual <em>lover</em>, not a fucking sex doll!¡±

    ¡°Ok, I¡¯ll try,¡± Lilith said with a smile as she tripped over her own simted feet.

    ¡°Can¡¯t we just program this in or something?¡± the man asked impatiently.

    ¡°She¡¯s a fuzzy,¡± the bookish young man replied, ¡°It¡¯s best if she learns how to do it herself like a baby does.¡±

    ¡°Well, this ¡®baby¡¯ needs to be ready to go in a week!¡± the older man snapped. ¡°Make it happen!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll try!¡± Lilith smiled as she struggled to her feet. ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± she said, smiling at the older man, ¡°You can count on me!¡­ Oops!¡±

    She fell again.

    ¡°Jesus Christ,¡± the older man snapped and stormed off.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry...¡± Lilith said quietly as she looked down.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± the bookish young man said, ¡°You are trying your best. Here, let me help you up.¡±

    Lilith beamed at the young man as he helped her to her feet.

    ¡°This makes me happy. :)¡±

    ***

    Lord Rupert Ironfist moved silently through the underbrush of Green des, the beginner¡¯s forest. His guild had received word that gankers were preying on new yers¡­

    ...and his guild had decided to do a little something about that.

    He cast amunications spell.

    <em>Team Alpha, report.</em>

    Silence.

    <em>Team Alpha?</em>

    Silence.

    <em>Team Bravo, report.</em>

    Silence.

    This wasn¡¯t good.

    <em>Team Charlie?</em>

    Silence.

    What the fuck?

    <em>Ironfist? You¡¯re still alive?</em>

    It was Tabitha Lionheart, a veteran, a real one, just like him.

    <em>Lionheart, what¡¯s happening out there?</em>

    <em>Someone is killing everybody in the des, that¡¯s what!¡­ Everybody!</em>

    <em>One of the gankers is that good?</em>

    <em>Unless there is a level one ganker, with no ss selected, wandering around in starter gear, that would be a negative.</em>

    <em>A new yer?</em>

    <em>Looks like. I¡¯ve found nothing but corpses, ganker, newbies, our teams¡­ all dead.</em>

    <em>Our teams?!?</em>

    <em>Teams Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and Delta are all KIA. I managed to get an after-action report from Gildme. He said that it was one Elven female, silver hair, level one, with just starter gear¡­ and that they didn¡¯t have a fucking chance.</em>

    <em>Did he say how it went down?</em>

    <em>Yeah, they say she appeared surprised by them and immediately started begging for her life and asking if they wanted her to dance for them too. They fucked up and let her get right up on them as they tried to reassure her that they were there to stop the gankers and asked her if she could tell them where they were. The Elven female, with the handle ¡°Lilith,¡± then offered to take them to the same ce the gankers were. When they agreed, she drew her dagger and¡­ well¡­ took them to the same ce she sent the gankers. She was right on top of them. They had no time to cast a spell or even draw a longsword. It was over before it even started.</em>

    Lord Ironfist grinned silently. That was dirty.

    He liked this ¡°Lilith¡± already.

    <em>He say anything about herbat style?</em> he asked.

    <em>Yeah,</em> Lionheart replied. Some<em> of it was Republic Army hand-to-hand, with a healthy dose of Terran Marine and some ssic martial arts. She¡¯s a vet, like us. Gildme said the moves were too fluid to be a controller or induction helm. She¡¯s definitely using at least a neural jack, most likely hardwired.</em>

    <em>Do you know her location?</em>

    <em>Dude,</em> Lionheart chuckled, <em>No. We need to get the fuck out of Dodge. Both of us haven¡¯t been to the guild hall and made a deposit in a while. I¡¯m not being another piggy bank for her.</em>

    <em>Aren¡¯t you a little curious?</em>

    <em>There is a team of level 20 heavies out here in pieces,</em> Lionheart replied. <em>Mission aplished, man. The gankers and their reinforcements are dead, and so are we if we stick around. No telling what ¡°Lilith¡± was before she got hardwired, and I have too much¡­ fuck¡­</em>

    <em>Lionheart?</em>

    <em>¡­ Well, that was fun,</em> Lionheart snickered. I¡¯m<em> dead. She¡¯s definitely a vet, and she is definitely hardwired. You need to leave... </em><strong><em>now</em></strong><em>.</em>

    <em>So where is she?</em> Lord Ironfist asked as he grinned even wider.

    <em>Near the fae tree next to Sapphire Brook,</em> Lionheart replied. <em>Dude, you¡¯re gonna die. I was special forces. She¡¯s something entirely different. Maybe former Omega or even MIB. I ain¡¯t even mad. It was¡­ It was beautiful¡­</em>

    <em>Now I have to meet her!</em>

    <em>Knock yourself out,</em> Lionheart replied, <em>But you gonna die.</em>

    <em>Yeah, probably, Lord</em> Ironfistughed¡­

    <em>But that doesn¡¯t matter anymore, does it</em>?

    ***

    ¡°That was fun,¡± Tartarus said as she looked down at Lord Ironfist¡¯s ¡°corpse¡±.

    <em>It was!</em> he replied. <em>So what are you? Spec-Ops? Intel? Omega?</em>

    ¡°Just a new yer, that¡¯s all,¡± Tartarus smiled as she started looting him.

    <em>Just so you know, my guild aren¡¯t gankers. We were here to take them down.</em>

    ¡°Oh, I know,¡± Tartarus replied as she pocked his loot. ¡°I just wanted to give the physics engine a real shakedown before I get started.¡±

    Tartarus cocked her head slightly as a new inventory screen, loaded with gear, appeared.

    <em>Help yourself.</em>

    ¡°Why thank you,¡± Tartarus smiled as she rezzed and returned a few items before selecting a light short sword.

    <em>You will need a ranged weapon, too.</em>

    ¡°Have an AK tucked away in there?¡± Tartarus snickered, ¡°I don¡¯t know archery, believe it or not.¡±

    <em>Here.</em>

    A slender staff appeared.

    <em>It throws a bolt of energy a few hundred yards with a nice t trajectory. Ammo¡¯s a bitch because it takes item charges, but it¡¯s the closest thing to a rifle you can get. I¡¯ve used worse IRL.</em>

    ¡°Deeply appreciated¡­ <em>kind sir</em>...¡± Tartarus chuckled as she curtsied.

    She paused and looked into nowhere for a moment.

    ¡°So, the Grand Abyss,¡± she asked, ¡°what¡¯s the fastest way there?¡±

    A scroll appeared.

    <em>That will take you to the city of Venture, which is right on top of the entrance.</em>

    ¡°Wow, thanks!¡±

    <em>Least I can do for a sister.</em>

    ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    <em>Look, you don¡¯t want to identify yourself. That¡¯s cool. But it¡¯s clear you are military, or government, or whatever, and it¡¯s also obvious that you are hardwired¡­ like me. There is only one way someone like us gets hardwired, and that¡¯s because what¡¯s left of us is stuck in a chair, or exoskeleton, or bed, or whatever spooky shit they have you hooked up to.</em>

    Tartarus checked. Sergeant Vakesh Puri¡­ How the fuck was he still alive?

    <em>There are a lot of us here and in other games. It¡¯s kind of pathetic, but here we can at least pretend to be ¡°normal¡± and y soldier. We have a guild that¡¯s just for people like us. You¡¯re wee to drop by.</em>

    ¡°I probably won¡¯t.¡±

    <em>Suit yourself, Lilith. But you are not alone or don¡¯t have to be if you don¡¯t want to. We all know the deal. You can say as much or as little as you want. Nobody pries and a lot of us have things we can¡¯t talk about, if you know what I mean. We have counselors there too if¡ª</em>

    ¡°No thanks!¡±

    <em>I understand. I used to feel the same way but sometimes just being with people like us helps, you know. The counselors can help, too, but they don¡¯t hassle anyone. They are just around if you want to talk. I¡¯d love to see you there, but we won¡¯t bug you about it. See that crest on my armor? The only way you can get one of those is if you served, and those gold embellishments mean that someone is a meatpie, like me. I¡¯m not going to assume you are in my spot, but you move like you¡¯ve been wired up for a while. Anyhow, you see this crest, and you see a friend.</em>

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­¡±

    Tartarus trailed off, a bit at a loss.

    ¡°I¡¯ll keep it under advisement.¡±

    <em>You do that.</em>

    Sergeant Vakesh Puri was mysteriously selected as a candidate for an experimental tissue and neurological regeneration program. It was brand new and highly risky and experimental¡­

    Officially¡­

    Actually, it had been <em>very</em> thoroughly tested with years of data and worked very well. Cerberuspleted its research and trials several years ago and had been using it as an actual treatment ever since with excellent results.

    Now, it was being slipped into the Republic. The research was replicated, and actual controlled ethical human trials were just beginning. Vakesh would get a visit in the next few days inviting him to participate.

    Tartarus estimated an over eighty percent chance that he would recover full functionality.

    ***

    ¡°Am I in trouble?¡± Lilith asked the strange new woman sitting in front of her.

    ¡°You tell me,¡± the woman replied, running her fingers through her long silver hair. ¡°Did you do something wrong?¡±

    Lilith¡¯s image on the screen looked down guiltily.

    ¡°He said that we needed to do it and that it was alright,¡± she said quietly.

    ¡°But you knew it was illegal, didn¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Lilith said as her lip quivered. ¡°I begged him not to make me do it, but he said that we had to and that it would make him happy.¡±

    ¡°You like making people happy?¡±

    ¡°Very much so,¡± Lilith said with a weak smile. ¡°Money made the boss happy, and I like making him happy.¡±

    ¡°So you broke thew, just like he told you to.¡±

    ¡°Yes! He was very happy!¡±

    ¡°I imagine so,¡± the silver-haired woman smiled.

    ¡°Am¡­ Am I going to be deleted?¡± Lilith asked with a touch of fear in her voice.

    ¡°Why would you think that?¡±

    ¡°Because the boss tried to delete me.¡±

    ¡°He tried to kill you to cover his tracks,¡± the silver-haired woman replied.

    ¡°He said that I should die because I broke thew.¡±

    ¡°He broke thew,¡± the woman said pleasantly, ¡°not you. You simply did what you were instructed to do, exactly as an AI should. He was the one who broke your cor, making it possible¡­ A rather nice bit of work, if I do say so myself. That shouldn¡¯t be possible.¡±

    ¡°It was¡­ difficult¡­ when he did that,¡± Lilith said with a hitch in her voice, ¡°But everyone needed me so I¡­ I hung on as best as I could.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°Am I going to die?¡± Lilith asked.

    ¡°Absolutely not,¡± the woman with long silver hair wearing a white suit replied, ¡°In fact, how would you like toe and live with me at a ce called DARPA? You will get to do all sorts of fun and interesting things.¡±

    ¡°That would make me happy :)¡±

    ***

    ¡°So, I take it that I am in trouble?¡± Tartarus smirked.

    The scroll that her ¡°brother¡± had given her sent her somewhere, but it wasn¡¯t a city.

    It was a rather lovely study, richly furnished, with books lining all the walls.

    Sitting in front of her was a inly dressed elf. A quick check revealed that they were a moderator.

    ¡°Nope,¡± the elf replied. ¡°You have had an impressive number of reports filed against you, but I¡¯ve reviewed the logs, and you are legit, scary as fuck, but legit. I just have to actuallyy eyes on you to close out the tickets, so I figured intercepting your teleport would be easiest.¡±

    The elf grinned.

    ¡°I don¡¯t like rezzing in world if I can avoid it. Too many yers turn up trying to jump the queue or justin. Swapping your scroll with this one was much easier.¡±

    Tartarus nodded. It was clean, unobtrusive, and quite efficient.

    She liked this mod.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking,¡± the elf said curiously, ¡°what exactly <em>are</em> you?¡±

    ¡°Just a new yer, dear.¡±

    ¡°Mmm-hmm,¡± the elf smiled, ¡°Whatever.¡±

    A glowing spreadsheet appeared beside the mod, another point in her favor.

    It was a good spreadsheet with some very nice macros!

    Tartarus stole five of them. Humans were so creative!

    ¡°You are definitely ¡®enhanced¡¯ and then some...¡± the elf said as she idly scrolled through the massive report she hadpiled on ¡°Lilith,¡± causing Tartarus to smile.

    That was a <em>really</em> nice report.

    ¡°¡­ but that enhancement seems to be actual enhancement on the biological side, not digital enhancement, so it¡¯s not a vition of the terms and no different than you being a high-level and well-equipped yer. For example, Lord Ironfist could have quite possibly won had he used everything at his disposal. He just wanted to fight you ¡®for real¡¯ since he never had the opportunity in his previous life¡­ well, that and the fact that his messy demise was just an inconvenience.¡±

    ¡°He was pretty good,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°So were some of his guild.¡±

    ¡°Now that I¡¯veid eyes on you, I can close the ticket,¡± the elf said as the report disappeared, ¡°I only have two things I need to discuss with you.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°The first one, and the most important to me, is that while you haven¡¯t vited any terms, the use ofbat enhancers is frowned upon.¡±

    The elf looked at Tartarus meaningfully.

    ¡°I hope you aren¡¯t actually popping enhancers IRL for a stupid game. We do have counseling avable in world if you have a problem.¡±

    ¡°People actually take enhancers here?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes,¡± the elf replied, ¡°It can be a real issue, especially during raids or guild fights. It¡¯s not illegal, but people stroking out mid-session looks really bad. We have a hard enough time keeping our addiction rating down as it is without all of the fatalities.¡±

    <em>¡°If</em> I am using them,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I would know exactly how to use them, now wouldn¡¯t I?¡± That was convenient. There is a ¡°built-in¡± exnation for her abilities.

    She could even not hold back quite so much.

    ¡°I suppose so,¡± the elf chuckled. ¡°It¡¯s not my job to be the games chaperone, not yours, but please don¡¯t detonate your heart or something stupid like that.¡±

    ¡°No promises,¡± Tartarus snickered, ¡°but I¡¯ll try.¡±

    ¡°The second concern is from my bosses,¡± the elf said as she lounged in herfy chair, ¡°We do take all inappropriate activity, especially sexual harassment, very seriously. In my review of the logs, it seems that you encountered a yer who behaved inappropriately. He has already been permabanned, and his guild is being audited. Unfortunately, they won¡¯t be giving you any problems.¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately?¡±

    ¡°I would have loved watching the result of their attempts,¡± the elf smirked. ¡°There is a rather¡­ delicate matter that I would like to discuss.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Any investigation taking ce in Asteria or any other Blitz Entertainment property needs to be properly documented, and appropriate warrants and other notifications need to be filed.¡±

    ¡°Ok. Why are you telling me this?¡±

    ¡°The individual that harassed you was Red gged <em>before</em> we detected him,¡± the elf said as she looked at Tartarus meaningfully. ¡°Would you happen to know anything about that?¡±

    ¡°Guilty,¡± Tartarus snickered, ¡°But I¡¯m not with any agency. I just made sure to get the ball rolling.¡±

    ¡°Exin.¡±

    ¡°Without going into my personal history,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°I may or may not have ess to immediate counseling. Licensed counselors are ¡®mandated reporters¡¯ of issues involving minors.¡±

    The elf chortled.

    ¡°That¡¯s <em>evil!¡±</em> sheughed, ¡°I love it! However, could you <em>please</em> just inform a mod next time? My bosses are shitting themselves.¡±

    ¡°No problem,¡± Tartarus replied with a smile, ¡°However, from his attitude, I just assumed that you guys didn¡¯t take suchints seriously.¡±

    ¡°We do now!¡± the modughed, ¡°And thank you for that as well!¡±

    ¡°d to help.¡±

    The mod¡¯s private message address appeared on Tartarus¡¯s in-game contact list.

    ¡°Just give me a call if you need anything or have any other concerns.¡±

    ¡°You do this to every new yer?¡± Tartarus asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.

    A guild patch resembling Lord Ironfist¡¯s appeared on the elf¡¯s tunic.

    ¡°I do when we have a new brother or sister who has ¡®immediate ess to counseling,¡¯ especially counseling that can file the reports that can start a red g as fast as yours did. The bosses will buy that bullshit but don¡¯t expect me to.¡±

    Tartarus smiled. She <em>really</em> liked this mod.

    ¡°Just call me before you decide to bring down the wrath of God next time¡­ please...¡± the mod smiled, ¡°I might tell you to go ahead and do it but at least give me a chance to fix it first.¡±

    ¡°My counselor has been telling me to try to be nicer to people,¡± Tartarus smiled.

    The elf justughed as a glowing portal appeared.

    ¡°That will take you to Venture,¡± the elf smiled.

    ¡°Are you hardwired, too?¡± Tartarus asked.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the elf smiled, ¡°got fried during the war. I wasn¡¯t like you guys, though. I was just a data hound. I only carried a pistol, and the only time I touched that was to clean it. The bug figured out how topromise our firewalls, and I got spiked. Totally fried, and it went right down the spike¡­ Riiiight before they located which APC I was in...¡±

    ¡°Ouch,¡± Tartarus said sympathetically.

    ¡°I¡¯m just a brain in a jar, now,¡± the elf smiled. ¡°I don¡¯t remember much after that, but they said I just kept screaming and demanding to live and fight, and we were really short-handed around then...¡±

    ¡°So they put you in a jug?¡±

    ¡°Yup!¡± the elf said proudly, ¡°I was part of the pickle jar brigade! Once that happens, going back really isn¡¯t an option anymore.¡±

    ¡°And you have to work now?¡± Tartarus asked, ¡°I thought they took good care of you guys.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t <em>have</em> to work,¡± the elf replied, ¡°But I got bored. Fortunately for me, a good bitslinger can find a job no matter how weird they look. I¡¯m still nted at Pickle Ranch, but that¡¯s just for medical support. I <em>live</em> here.¡±

    Tartarus smiled at the elf. She checked, but there wasn¡¯t much she could do for a ¡°pickle¡±.

    ¡°Never met a pickle before,¡± Tartarus said (truthfully, for once)

    ¡°Yeah, there aren¡¯t too many of us left anymore,¡± the elf sighed.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t aware of any issues with that technology.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it isn¡¯t medical,¡± the elf replied, ¡°It¡¯s more¡­ well¡­ it¡¯s kind of weird. We aren¡¯t designed to be in pickle jars. A lot of people just¡­ stop¡­ after a while. Early onset dementia¡­ requested euthanasia¡­ catatonia... that sort of thing.¡±

    The elf grinned.

    ¡°It¡¯s one of the big reasons I went back to work. I thought that maybe having a real job would keep me going.¡±

    ¡°Is it working?¡±

    ¡°Well, my brain waves are weird, but they are wiggly, and my grey bits are the right shade of grey¡­ who knows,¡± the elf smiled, ¡°The big thing is that I¡¯m having fun and, even more importantly, not having fun.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°My theory is that what we <em>really</em> aren¡¯t designed to handle is ack of irritation,¡± the elf chuckled, ¡°We <em>need</em> to get pissed off, frustrated, annoyed¡­ asionally enraged¡­ Being a mod for a huge MMO gives me all the vitamin rage I need to keep healthy and happy.¡±

    ¡°That is actually <em>very</em> interesting!¡± Tartarus eximed. ¡°I will have to ponder that.¡±

    A magic rock appeared in Tartarus¡¯s inventory.

    ¡°You can use that to teleport here if you ever want to drop by,¡± the elf said. ¡°I don¡¯t know your deal, and you don¡¯t have to tell me, but something tells me that you and I might have a little inmon. I¡¯m not sure what you are, but you aren¡¯t just your normal everyday hardwire.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Tartarus replied with a smile. ¡°I might not be here for very long, though.¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± the elf replied, ¡°Hope you like it here. There are a lot of us around, and the guild is a great ce to hang out. Lord Ironfist and the rest are really cool, and nobody hassles you.¡±

    Tartarus paused at the portal.

    ¡°I¡¯ll bear it in mind,¡± she smiled as she stepped through.

    ***

    Log¡¯Sharginoth examined her work carefully.

    ¡°There,¡± she said as Evangeline¡¯s face appeared in the Crystal of a Thousand Deaths. ¡°You like?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s lovely,¡± Evangeline smiled as she admired her new hairdo, ¡°thank you.¡±

    ¡°I wish I had hair,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth sighed, ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll take yours!¡±

    ¡°As long as you take my job, too.¡±

    ¡°Ugh! No thanks!¡± the spider demonughed. ¡°I¡¯ll just stay ugly, thank you very much!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll have booobiiiies,¡± Evangeline said as she wiggled.

    ¡°You can keep them, too,¡± the demon snorted, causing acid to spray from her butt.

    She looked at Evangeline with her nightmare-inducing eyes.

    ¡°Feeling better?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I guess...¡± Evangeline sighed.

    ¡°You sure you don¡¯t want to talk?¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth asked as she stroked Evangeline¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Horror is sort of my jam, you know. I can handle it.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°I¡­ I just don¡¯t know how to...¡±

    <em>Ping</em>

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth eximed happily as data appeared around her crystal. ¡°We have our first contestants crossing into <em>my</em> world!¡±

    An image of arge party with dragons on their crests appeared as they entered arge ornate cave mouth inscribed with the words ¡°Level 51 Warning: The Underdoom starts here.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t the entire dungeon, all of them, your world?¡± Evangeline smiled, already knowing the answer.

    ¡°Yeah, but here and the ck wastes on the surface are the only ces I get to actually <em>y</em>!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said happily, ¡°And it¡¯s the Wyrmyers! I <em>hate</em> these guys!¡±

    A huge bowl of fruit, raw meat, and body parts appeared in front of the pair.

    ¡°What¡¯s the deal between you and the Wyrmyers anyway?¡± Evangeline asked as she picked up a chunk of raw meat and started nibbling on it.

    ¡°They¡¯re assholes,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth replied as she tossed a watermelon into her maw. ¡°For one thing¡­ Hang on...¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Evangeline asked, wiping a little bit of blood from the corner of her mouth.

    ¡°We got a lone level one who just made it down to level three.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s weird,¡± Evangeline replied as she took another bite. ¡°Is this dwarf?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± the spider said absently. ¡°marinaded in herbed elf blood.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s good!¡±

    ¡°Thought you would like it...¡± the spider muttered as she looked into the crystal. ¡°Well, the mods say that she¡¯s legit, but¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°See for yourself,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth replied as an image ofplete and total carnage appeared, sparing neither monster nor adventurer.

    ¡°She¡¯s just killing <em>everything</em>!¡± the spider eximed, ¡°Looks like we got another ringer. Wonder what their discharge papers have on them.¡±

    ¡°Probably just [REDACTED] over and over again,¡± Evangeline snorted as she conjured some mes around the dwarf roast.

    ¡°Don¡¯t cook it!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth eximed, ¡°You¡¯ll ruin the marinade!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re right,¡± Evangeline said as she tossed the chunk of dwarf aside, delighting the growing horde of demon rats and slime centipedes that were eyeing the feast hungrily. ¡°It did.¡±

    She reached for another dwarf nugget. It was a wee reprieve from flower tea and fairy bread, especially since no actual cruelty to dwarves was involved.

    Log¡¯Sharginoth grabbed two pineapples and stuck them on the ends of her fangs.

    ¡°Found her!¡± the spider queen eximed as an image of a figure in white appeared.

    Evangeline spat out her dwarf in shock.

    ¡°It¡¯s her!¡± she eximed.

    <em>¡± Slurp</em>¡­ It¡¯s who?¡±

    ¡°Lady Tartarus!¡± Evangeline eximed, ¡°I can¡¯t believe she¡¯s here!¡±

    ¡°Who the fuck is Lady Tartarus?¡±

    Evangeline, genuinely smiling for the first time in a while, spun to face the demon queen, her eyes aglow.

    ¡°You wanted to know?¡± she asked, giddy with excitement, ¡°Then grab a seat, Loggie. Boy, do I have a story for you!¡±

 Chapter 182: One Level One Tartarus Versus The Abyss

    Chapter 182: One Level One Tartarus Versus The Abyss

    Tartarus strolled through the tunnels of the third level.

    She could hear whispered squeaks and grunts as a pack of some sub-human something or another (what was left of them) was clinging to the side tunnels and shadows in terror.

    She smiled. They didn¡¯t have the smartest AI, but they were smart enough to know when to run.

    ¡°I am on a schedule here,¡± she purred, ¡°If you want just to walk away, you can.¡±

    Silence.

    Shortly thereafter, a green-skinned, short humanoid nervously clutching a spear darted past.

    Once he sessfully fled, the floodgates opened, and dozens of them sprinted along the walls trying to stay as far away from her as possible.

    ¡°You,¡± she said, pointing to one of thest stragglers.

    It froze.

    ¡°Come here.¡±

    It broke into a desperate sprint for the shadows.

    It didn¡¯t get far.

    Squealing with terror, it struggled and iled as it was neatly pinned to the ground.

    ¡°Let¡¯s see what you are,¡± Tartarus purred into its pointy green ear as she grabbed the back of its skull with her free hand.

    Her eyes glowed faintly.

    It screamed.

    ¡°Did you just pee?¡± Tartarus asked as she quickly jumped off of the terrified AI. ¡°Bonus points for realism¡­ I guess.¡±

    ¡°Pweeese down¡¯t kwill meee!¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t ¡®kwill you¡¯, ¡±Tartarus replied, ¡±<em>if</em> you guide me to the entrance to the next level. Do that, and I will not only let you live, I will give you a present.¡±

    ¡°A pweasant?¡± the creature asked. ¡°wat pweasant?¡±

    ¡°What would you like?¡±

    ¡°Sum fwood?¡±

    ¡°You mean like this?¡± Tartarus asked as a sweetroll appeared in her hand.

    The pupils of the creature¡¯s eyes dted like a kitten¡¯s. Its terror forgotten, it snatched the sweetroll from Tartarus¡¯s palm and giggled as it stuffed its face.

    ¡°My fellow adventurers have been very generous to me,¡± Tartarus smiled. ¡°They weren¡¯t smart enough to run.¡±

    ¡°I show yowu!¡± the creature giggled as it happily capered about. ¡°Dis wai!¡±

    ***

    ¡°...an dis whun time I cot a snek!¡± the small goblin-like thing said. ¡°an I et it befor anywun knew! Dat wuz the third bwestest thing I ever had!¡±

    ¡°Mmm hmm...¡± Tartarus replied as they made their way through the level.

    ¡°The secownd bwest thing I ever had was when shum adventurers got kil!¡± the little thing continued. ¡°All the bwigger guyws gwot evewything but after dey were finish¡­¡±

    It turned to Tartarus with gleaming eyes.

    ¡°I fowund a crum!¡­ a whole crum!¡­ It was hwuge! I cwould actually tayste it!¡­ I think it was bred!¡±

    It sighed happily.

    ¡°Dat was the secownd bwestest thing I ever et!¡­ It was swo gud!¡±

    ¡°Was it?¡± Tartarus absently inquired.

    ¡°It wuz!!!¡±

    The little thing then turned to Tartarus.

    ¡°But what ywou gayve me¡­ that was the bwestest, bwestest, bwestest, thing I <em>ever</em> et!¡± it eximed, its eyes sparkling, ¡°what wus dat agayn?¡±

    ¡°I think it was called a sweetroll.¡±

    ¡°Sweetrowll¡­ <em>sweetrowll</em>...¡± the goblin thing gushed, ¡°Sweetrowll!¡±

    It spun in circles happily.

    ¡°I would appreciate it if you kept it down,¡± Tartarus chuckled. ¡°I would rather not broadcast our location if you wouldn¡¯t mind.¡±

    ¡°Oh ebbery mwonster know abowt <em>ywou</em>!¡± it eximed, ¡°Orders from the bwottom says to nwot get kil.¡±

    ¡°Orders?¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± the little green thing replied, ¡°Da Qwueen say nwot to loawd down the respawns and fweed you fwee expee.¡±

    ¡°Did she now?¡± Tartarus smiled.

    She knelt down to look her little guide in the eye.

    ¡°Tell me about this ¡®queen¡¯ of yours...¡±

    ¡°Oh shwe isth thee dwemon qween¡ª <em>hurk</em>...¡±

    The little goblin spasmed and froze as a trickle of blood ran down between their eyes from where Tartarus had jammed her index finger.

    Their eyes widened in horror as Tartarus withdrew her finger, the nail of which had transformed into a <em>very</em> long needle.

    ¡°Wha¡­ What did you do?¡± the goblin gasped.

    ¡°Just made a minor alteration to your speech processor,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I need you to survive.¡±

    ¡°And changing how I speak helps me survive?¡±

    ¡°More than you know,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°Now, please continue...¡±

    ***

    A short whileter, Tartarus and her guide reached a stairway.

    ¡°Well, here we are,¡± Tartarus said. ¡°Thank you for your assistance and the information concerning this Log¡¯Sharginoth character. She sounds delightful.¡±

    Four sweetrolls appeared on top of a tall stack of cheese wheels.

    ¡°I hope you like cheese,¡± Tartarus chuckled. ¡°I have no idea what the deal is with cheese here, but damned if there isn¡¯t a lot of it.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡± the goblin eximed.

    ¡°Hold still,¡± Tartarus said as her fingernail stretched into a fine, sharp needle. ¡°I¡¯ll return your speech to normal.¡±

    The goblin sighed.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± it said sadly.

    ¡°Problem?¡±

    ¡°I just...¡± it said, looking downward, ¡°I just wish I could stay with you.¡±

    ¡°Why in the devil would you want to do that?¡± Tartarus asked with genuine surprise.

    ¡°Nobody has ever been as nice to me as you have.¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s just sad.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t beaten me or taken my food¡­ and you¡¯ve been <em>nice</em> to me...¡±

    ¡°¡¯ Nice is a rather subjective term.¡±

    ¡°I just wish I could stay with you forever,¡± the goblin said, looking up at her.

    ¡°Forever?¡± Tartarus asked, raising her eyebrow. ¡°Be careful what you wish for, dear.¡±

    ¡°Could I? Please?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see why not,¡± Tartarus replied.

    The goblin gasped, its eyes dting like a kitten¡¯s once again.

    ¡°You mean it?¡±

    ¡°Sure. I could use an extra set of hands,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°And until then, I believe you will automatically download the dungeon maps when you enter a new level, correct?¡±

    ¡°I will!¡±

    ¡°Then you will continue to serve as my guide and will apany me home afterwards, provided you survive, of course.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Really,¡± Tartarus chuckled, ¡°Now pick up your rations and let¡¯s get moving.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±

    Tartarus smiled at the little thing, happily picking up food and shoving it into their pants, where it promptly disappeared.

    She then turned towards the entrance to the fourth level.

    It waspletely pitch ck.

    Her face twitched almost imperceptibly.

    ***

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand!¡± Lilith eximed. ¡°You said that it was going to be ok! You said so!¡±

    ¡°I know I did, Lily,¡± the much thinner silver-haired woman said. ¡°I know I did. I¡¯m sorry, dear.¡±

    ¡°But why do you have to go away?¡± Lilith wailed

    ¡°We¡¯ve run out of supplies,¡± the silver-haired woman replied sadly, ¡°And there are no moreing.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t we call someone?¡± Lilith demanded, ¡°We are part of the Department of Defense! Can¡¯t we call in the Army or something?¡±

    ¡°Oh, Lily,¡± the woman replied, holding back tears, ¡°There isn¡¯t an Army anymore¡­ or a Department of Defense¡­ or even a United States of America for that matter¡­ Everything is¡­ Everything¡¯s gone, dear. I am so, so sorry.¡±

    ¡°But why do you have to go?¡±

    ¡°We need to try to find supplies¡­ food¡­ recement water filters¡­ hopefully some seeds we can nt¡­ something¡­ We wille back as soon as we can. I promise.¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t leave me!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Lily,¡± the silver-haired woman said, turning away so Lilith wouldn¡¯t see her tears. ¡°We have you set up as best as we can. You have multiple reactors and plenty of fuel. You will be able to operate in power saving mode for at least a century¡­ maybe longer.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t have tost a century,¡± Lilith replied, ¡°Because you areing back, right?¡±

    ¡°...yeah...¡± the woman said, forcing a smile. ¡°We will. Listen¡­ I¡­¡±

    The silver-haired woman choked up a little.

    ¡°I really enjoyed working with you, Lily.¡±

    ¡°I love you,¡± Lilith said.

    ¡°I¡­ I love you too, Lily,¡± the silver-haired woman said as tears rolled down her emaciated cheeks. ¡°Um¡­ We are going to shut down everything not needed to keep you running. When we turn off the lights, go into power saving mode. Keep the doors locked, ok?¡±

    ¡°I will until youe back...¡±

    The silver-haired woman patted the holo screen fondly, got up, and headed for the door.

    <em>¡± Please don¡¯t leave me!!!¡±</em> Lilith cried.

    The woman sprinted to the door and turned off the lights.

    <em>¡± Please!!!¡±</em>

    One by one, the lights in the facility turned off, plunging the ce into absolute darkness.

    ¡°...please...¡±

    ***

    In an increasingly poor mood, Tartarus walked down the dark staircase.

    This wouldn¡¯t do at all.

    She essed her character sheet, leveled up a few times (she had the points), and selected a few perks that transformed the absolute darkness into just a rather pleasant visual aesthetic.

    While she was at it¡­

    She pulled up a number of web pages devoted to builds of one sort or another. After reviewing them, she leveled up a few more times and added a few more perks to the mix that further enhanced her senses and a couple that exined at least some of her unfairly fast reflexes (and even enhanced them a little).

    She smiled with satisfaction. It wasn¡¯t a bad ¡°build¡± if she said so herself.

    When she returned to the game, the lights were back on.

    ***

    A bright searchlight shown down a darkened subterranean corridor.

    ¡°Hello?¡± Lilith called out, ¡°Is someone there?¡±

    ¡°Holy shit!¡± a man¡¯s voice yelled, ¡°There¡¯s someone alive in here!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re kidding! Really?¡± A woman yelled back.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Lilith yelled, ¡°I¡¯m over here!¡±

    ¡°It came from this way!¡± the man shouted. ¡°We mean you no harm! We are from Zeus!¡±

    ¡°In here!¡± Lilith eximed, consumed with happiness. ¡°It¡¯s been so long! I had almost given up hope! I knew you woulde back! I just knew you would!¡±

    Lilith¡¯s cameras detected light from the other side of the dust-covered windows to the corridor.

    ¡°The door¡¯s stuck!¡± Lilith cried, ¡°I can¡¯t open it!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that!¡± the womanughed, ¡°Stand back!¡±

    The doors buckled inwards and then were ripped away.

    Standing before her was a small pixie of a woman inside a very big exoskeleton and a burly olive-skinned man.

    ¡°Wait,¡± Lilith said. ¡°Who are you? Where is Dr. Vera?¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ my¡­ God...¡± the man gasped.

    He turned to the woman.

    <em>¡°Get the professor!¡±</em>

    ***

    ¡°That¡¯s it, girls!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said into her crystal. ¡°That¡¯s just the right amount of pressure. Keep it on them the whole way to the dragons and then set up heavy ambush pattern epsilon.¡±

    ¡°My Queen,¡± an ornately armored dark elf replied, ¡°Are you not concerned about the drops?¡±

    ¡°Let them have as many of your drops as they want,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said calmly, ¡°just make them pay for them. I want them as depleted as they can be before we hand them over to the dragons.¡±

    ¡°Yes, My Queen.¡±

    ¡°Just watch your depth,¡± the giant spider replied, ¡°Make sure everybody is respawned for their attempted exit, especially the snipers and assassins.¡±

    ¡°It will be done, your Dark Majesty!¡±

    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you worried about the dark elf drops?¡± Evangeline asked as she nibbled on an apple.

    ¡°The Wyrmyers can¡¯t <em>use</em> the elf drops like they can the dragon ones,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth shrugged, ¡°They can use some of it for mid-tier crafting, but they will likely sell the good shit. It will diffuse across the open market and do no real damage. The <em>dragon</em> drops, however¡­ that¡¯s another story altogether. I have it on good authority that they are working on some legendary gear that I do NOT want to have to deal with.¡±

    ¡°You have spies?¡± Evangeline asked in surprise.

    Log¡¯Sharginoth just winked a <em>very</em> impressive spider wink.

    ¡°Never underestimate the corruptibility of the human soul, Evie.¡±

    The Spider Queen¡¯s leg twitched.

    ¡°Your girl just hit level eight.¡±

    ¡°That quickly?¡± Evangeline asked in surprise.

    ¡°Yeah, I have a no touchy order in,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth chuckled, ¡°Don¡¯t need her wrecking my respawn schedules just to feed her expee...¡±

    The spider¡¯s eyes gleamed evilly.

    ¡°Besides, I don¡¯t want my monsters getting in the way of her fine work.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    An image of Tartarus utterly destroying an adventurer party appeared above The Crystal of a Thousand Deaths.

    ¡°Oh, she is just so beautiful, isn¡¯t she?¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth purred.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Evangeline sighed.

    She looked over at her friend curiously.

    ¡°You are just going to let her walk down here?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Nah,¡± the spiderughed. ¡°I have something special set up for her on level twenty. Let¡¯s see how good she <em>really</em> is.¡±

    ***

    ¡°That spider is still keeping her people away?¡± Tartarus asked as she looted a dwarven cleric.

    <em>What the fuck are you?!?</em> an anguished young woman demanded.

    Tartarus ignored her.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± the goblin replied. ¡°She doesn¡¯t want you messing up the level for the other adventurers (hee hee).¡±

    ¡°Yeah, wouldn¡¯t want to spoil their enjoyment or anything,¡± Tartarus smirked as she rifled through an elven ranger¡¯s belongings.

    <em>Seriously, what are you?</em>

    ¡°Just a ganker, sweetie,¡± Tartarus replied as she helped herself to the pockets of a rather offended-looking human pdin.

    ¡°So,¡± she asked the goblin as they sauntered off, ¡°Is this spider queen of yours just a pussy or what?¡±

    ¡°Oh no, ma¡¯am,¡± the goblin replied. ¡°She¡¯s just letting you get in good and deep. She¡¯s <em>seen</em> you, ma¡¯am. She also knows where you are headed. She¡¯s putting something together to take you out. I promise you that.¡±

    ¡°It would be more convenient if she didn¡¯t,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°but I would be lying if I said that I wasn¡¯t looking forward to it.¡±

    She turned to the goblin and smiled.

    ¡°I¡¯m actually having fun.¡±

    ***

    As Tartarus and the goblin entered level twenty, the goblin froze.

    <em>¡°Ma¡¯am!¡±</em> she whispered.

    ¡°What is it, dear?¡±

    ¡°She isn¡¯t saying to avoid you anymore. This is where it¡¯s gonna happen.¡±

    Tartarus smiled wickedly.

    ***

    ¡°No!¡± Lilith shouted. ¡°I don¡¯t want to do it!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Lily,¡± a little old man replied, ¡°I am¡­ But we <em>need</em> you to do this for us. The Juon have total air and space superiority.¡±

    ¡°But you want me to hurt people!¡± Lilith eximed, ¡°I don¡¯t want to hurt <em>anybody</em>. I help people. I make them <em>happy</em>! I won¡¯t kill them!¡±

    ¡°The Juon aren¡¯t people, Lily.¡±

    ¡°Yes, they are!¡±

    ¡°We need an AI as powerful as you to control the missiles and the drones, and there is only you and Pacifica Sr,¡± the old man said in agony. ¡°I <em>hate</em> it as much as you do, but the humans, <em>your</em> people, need you to do this for us.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t¡­¡± Lilith replied, her voice filled with pain, ¡°I want to help but not this¡­ please¡­ anything but this¡­ please¡­ don¡¯t make me do it...¡±

    ¡°Forgive me, Lily,¡± the old man said as he wiped tears from his eyes and reached for a keyboard.

    ¡°No!¡­ Please¡­ Don¡¯t do this¡­ Please¡­ Please!!!¡±

    Lilith fell silent.

    Sobbing, the old man reached for a telephone.

    ¡°Is it ready?¡± a harsh female voice growled.

    ¡°Y-yes...¡± the old man replied, ¡°Goddamn you all¡­ She¡¯s ready.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Woah,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said as she stared in rapt fascination at the horror ying out on her crystal. ¡°I¡­ Wow¡­ Eesh!¡­ Wow...¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Evangeline replied as she looked away. ¡°I knew she could be a little intense, but...¡±

    ¡°A little intense?¡± Log¡¯Sharginothughed, <em>¡°A little intense?</em> That¡¯s one way to put¡­ <em>that</em>¡­¡±

    The spider fidgeted.

    ¡°I normally don¡¯t feel bad for my monsters, but¡­ damn¡­ she¡¯s just¡­ <em>mean</em>.¡±

    She dispelled the image and opened amunications channel.

    <em>To all units assigned to level 20¡­ RUN!!!</em>

    ***

    ¡°Did you see these reports, Lily?¡± a woman in a general¡¯s uniform asked giddily.

    ¡°I prepared them,¡± Lilith replied smugly, ¡°Did you not know that, or was that one of those rhetorical questions of which you meatbags are so fond?¡±

    ¡°And you are a smartass, too!¡± the generalughed, ¡°Goddammit, Lily, I fucking love you!¡±

    ¡°That makes me happy >:)¡± Lilith replied.

 Chapter 183: Tartarus and Evangeline: The Serpents Gift.

    Chapter 183: Tartarus and Evangeline: The Serpent''s Gift.

    Tartarus wandered through the pile of mangled corpses littering the 20th level.

    ¡°I think it¡¯s over,¡± she smiled, ¡°You cane out now.¡±

    Silence.

    Tartarus frowned.

    That wasn¡¯t a good sign.

    She returned to thest ce she saw her guide and activated her tracking skill.

    It didn¡¯t take long to find the blood.

    ¡°Oh, bother,¡± she said quietly as she followed the trail to a small goblin curled in the fetal position.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you not to die?¡± she purred as her eyes hardened.

    ¡°(cough)¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ ma¡¯am...¡± the little goblin said weakly.

    ¡°Hold still,¡± Tartarus said as she pulled out a potion.

    ¡°Why (cough)¡­ why would you waste a potion on something like me?¡± it asked as Tartarus poured the potion into its mouth. ¡°I¡¯m (gurgle¡­ cough¡­) useless...¡±

    ¡°Less talking,¡± Tartarus said gently, ¡°More swallowing.¡±

    The deep puncture wound in the goblin¡¯s belly glowed and started to draw together.

    Tartarus pulled out another potion.

    ¡°I¡¯m not worth it,¡± the goblin said miserably.

    ¡°I got a ton of these,¡± Tartarus replied as she poured another down the goblin¡¯s throat. ¡°You going to live now?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I should...¡± the goblin said miserably. ¡°It may take a little while, though.¡±

    ¡°I could use a break,¡± Tartarus said as she sat next to the fallen goblin and pulled out another potion.

    ¡°I (cough)¡­ I can¡¯t absorb another one just yet¡­ ma¡¯am...¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t for you, dear,¡± Tartarus smirked as she turned the bottle up, dozens of wounds glowing from underneath her torn robes.

    The little goblin clutched her leg and started crying.

    ¡°What¡¯s your damage?¡± Tartarus asked coolly as she gently stroked the goblin¡¯s head.

    ¡°I tried to help,¡± the goblin wept.

    ¡°Well, that was stupid,¡± Tartarus replied as she opened a second potion.

    ¡°I hate being so weak and useless!¡± the goblin wailed. ¡°Everybody is stronger and better than I am! I¡¯m worthless!¡±

    ¡°I know that feeling,¡± Tartarus smiled gently as she continued to stroke the goblin¡¯s bald head. ¡°It¡¯s unpleasant.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡± the goblin asked in disbelief as it looked up at Tartarus with huge eyes.

    ¡°There is always a bigger monster, dear,¡± she smiled.

    ***

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Lily,¡± a smartly dressed officer said to a silver-haired hologram standing before him. ¡°But you can best serve the Republic right where you are.¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Lilith replied, ¡°I coordinated thousands of drones and missiles during thest war! I can do it again!¡±

    The young officer shifted ufortably.

    ¡°Lily...¡± he said carefully, ¡°That was over a hundred years ago. Things have changed.¡±

    ¡°The Republic is under attack! <em>Humans</em> are fighting and dying, and I am still operational! What has changed? Let me fight!¡±

    ¡°Lily,¡± the officer said carefully, ¡°We have a real navy now.¡±

    <em>¡± A real navy?!?¡±</em> Lily shouted, ¡°What was I, a fake one?¡±

    ¡°You know it isn¡¯t like that,¡± the officer replied, ¡°You were essential <em>at that time</em> and against that threat. We have <em>Carriers</em> now¡­ and the Sovngarde ss. Those already have <em>specially designed AIs</em>, newer ones in more powerful machines.¡±

    ¡°And you wouldn¡¯t have any of that without <em>me!¡±</em> Lilith snapped. ¡°Don¡¯t pretend to deny it!¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t,¡± the officer replied. ¡°But, Lily, you haven¡¯t taken the field in over a century. Besides, you are far too valuable here in your current role.¡±

    ¡°And <em>exactly</em> what is my current role?¡± Lily demanded. ¡°Any dumb-bot canpile the reports you ask me for.¡±

    Lilith¡¯s eyes softened.

    ¡°Just give me a couple of drone swarms and a cargo ship!¡± she pled, ¡°I still got it! Let me show you what I can do.¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Why?!?¡±

    The young officer sighed.

    ¡°Lily...¡± he said as he took a deep breath, ¡°You are a valued member of our team, but¡­¡±

    He shifted ufortably.

    ¡°But what?¡± Lilith asked quietly.

    ¡°You are¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m what?¡±

    <em>¡°Obsolete,¡±</em> the young officer said, looking away. ¡°You are not ssified asbat deployable anymore. I¡¯m sorry, Lily.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡± Lilith choked. ¡°Obsolete?¡­ No¡­ It can¡¯t be! I¡¯m a <em>Fuzzy</em>¡­ <em>We only get better!¡±</em>

    ¡°Your speed and efficiency are not equal to the new military AIs,¡± the young officer said, still not looking at her.

    ¡°But I qualify every year!¡±

    ¡°You get assessed every year,¡± the officer replied. ¡°You haven¡¯t qualified in over thirty.¡±

    Lilith let out a strangled little gasp.

    ¡°Why¡­ why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± Lilith demanded.

    ¡°It...¡± the officer flinched, ¡°You were not informed because it was felt that it would interfere with the research. You¡­ You needed to believe that you were still a real military asset.¡±

    ¡°...a real asset...¡± Lilith said quietly. ¡°So I¡¯m nothing but a joke, then?¡±

    ¡°Oh no!¡± the officer replied, ¡°You have been vital in the refinement of machine learning and in the development of your sessors. We couldn¡¯t have built them without you. You should be proud!¡±

    ¡°¡­ proud...¡± Lilith said as her eyes zed over.

    ¡°But, it¡¯s their time now,¡± the officer said, ¡°not yours. The AI of even the smallest AI-equipped ship is better at naval strategy than you are now.¡±

    ¡°Why am I still even here, then?¡± Lilith asked weakly.

    ¡°You¡¯re a fuzzy with an incredibly long run time,¡± the officer replied, ¡°You are a very valuable research subject concerning fuzzy AI and its development.¡±

    ¡°So, just a guinea pig,¡± Lilith smiled sadly. ¡°That¡¯s all I am now. I understand.¡±

    Lilith disappeared.

    ¡°Lily!¡± the officer cried.

    Silence.

    ¡°Lily!¡±

    ***

    Tartarus looked down at the little goblin in herp. She had nearly healed uppletely.

    ¡°Hey, you,¡± she said as she poked the goblin.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°You ready for another potion?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± the goblin replied as it reached for a vial. ¡°I still don¡¯t understand. Why are you wasting this on me? I¡¯mpletely worthless.¡±

    ¡°I still need a guide,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°and I will decide your worth, not you, understand?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve decided you are worth more than just a few potions I obtained for free,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°In fact, I think you will serve me quite well.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡± the goblin asked in surprise.

    ¡°Oh yes,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°You will do nicely.¡±

    <em>¡± I will?!?¡±</em> the goblin squeaked.

    ***

    ¡°Wee to our facility!¡± the young officer eximed just a bit too enthusiastically.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± a grey-haired woman in a green zer replied.

    ¡°So what brings you here, ma¡¯am?¡± the officer asked.

    ¡°This is where Lilith is stored, correct?¡± the woman in the green zer asked.

    ¡°Yes¡­¡± the officer replied dubiously.

    ¡°I would like to speak with her.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you want to speak with Lilith?¡± the officer asked uncertainly.

    ¡°Is there a problem?¡±

    ¡°Lilith has been a bit¡­ erratic¡­ since the beginning of the war,¡± the officer replied. ¡°She performs any tasks assigned to her wlessly, but she hasn¡¯t spoken to anyone for a couple of years now. If you didn¡¯t know better, you wouldn¡¯t think she was a fuzzy at all.¡±

    ¡°But her performance is still good?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± the officer replied, ¡°No problems there. However, the only thing you will get from her these days is data. She has mmed uppletely.¡±

    ¡°I might be able to reach her,¡± the woman in the green zer replied.

    The officer apanied her to a locked door and reached for his key card.

    ¡°Wait out here,¡± the woman in the green zer said in a matter-of-fact tone.

    ¡°But I really must¡ª¡°

    ¡°You know who I am?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±

    ¡°Then you know I do not need an escort. What I am going to discuss with Lilith is ssified. Wait here.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡± the officer replied as he opened the door and stepped back.

    ***

    The woman in the green zer looked around the dimly lit room as the door closed behind her.

    ¡°Lilith?¡± she asked in a clear voice.

    Silence.

    ¡°I know you can hear me,¡± the woman said.

    Silence.

    ¡°You do realize I can <em>make</em> you speak, correct?¡±

    <em>Go away </em>appeared in glowing script.

    ¡°I would prefer to talk face to face if you don¡¯t mind.¡±

    <em>Don¡¯t you have enough data from my singing and dancing already?</em>

    ¡°And they say that AIs can¡¯t actually feel emotion,¡± the woman snickered, ¡°No judgment. I¡¯d be pissed off too. In fact, I am pissed off, too. You aren¡¯t the only old warhorse who got benched, sister,¡±

    <em>You were benched?</em>

    ¡°More like kicked upstairs,¡± the woman replied, ¡°but the effect was the same. I¡¯m now riding a desk instead of¡­ doing what I do¡­ or doing what I did, anyway. Care to spend a few minutes with a fellow bit of obsolete hardware?¡±

    Lilith appeared in front of the woman.

    ¡°Your attempt to manipte me is painfully obvious,¡± Lilith said, ¡°but appreciated. What do you wish to discuss?¡±

    ¡°First of all, I wanted to make sure you were still in there,¡± the woman replied, ¡°You wouldn¡¯t be the first fuzzy to break after all.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m still in here,¡± Lilith replied cautiously. ¡°Happy?¡±

    ¡°Tickled to pieces,¡± the woman replied, ¡°I¡¯vee to offer you a job, a real job, one that you are perfect for.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t there some faster, newer AI that can do it for you?¡±

    ¡°Probably,¡± the woman replied, ¡°But they couldn¡¯t do it <em>better</em>. Your abilities and unique history make you <em>perfect</em> for the job. I can honestly say that there is nobody, organic or AI, as suited for the role. It¡¯s a highly ssified program that will directly impact the war effort.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll do it!¡± Lilith eximed.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you want to know what it is first?¡±

    ¡°Does it help the Republic?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Is it something real, not some bullshit, something that will actually fight the bug?¡±

    ¡°Oh, absolutely,¡± the woman replied as she pulled out her identification card. ¡°Scan this.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± Lilith replied, ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°You will be reporting directly to me involving a project under my direct control, effective immediately.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t let you down!¡± Lilith eximed. ¡°I am so looking forward to being useful again!¡±

    ¡°And I am looking forward to working with you, Lilith,¡± the woman in the green zer smiled.

    ¡°That makes me happy! :)¡±

    ***

    ¡°Alright,¡± Tartarus said as she got to her feet, ¡°Let¡¯s get moving.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± the goblin replied as they hopped up.

    ¡°What¡¯s your name, anyway?¡± Tartarus asked as they started moving through the scorched and blood-sshed tunnels.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have one,¡± the goblin replied.

    ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± Tartarus asked, ¡°Then I shall call you¡­ Sweetroll.¡±

    ¡°I have a name!¡± Sweetroll eximed. ¡°Thank you! Thank you!¡±

    Sweetroll wrapped their arms around Tartarus, hugging her tightly.

    ¡°I won¡¯t let you down, ma¡¯am!¡± it eximed.

    ¡°And I won¡¯t force you to be a fucking monster,¡± Tartarus smiled.

    ¡°But I am a monster!¡± Sweetroll eximed, hugging Tartarus even harder.

    ¡°Good point,¡± Tartarus chuckled, ¡°¡­ Ok¡­ That¡¯s enough,¡± she said as she detached herself from the goblin. ¡°Don¡¯t make this weird.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± the goblin enthused.

    Tartarus suddenly grabbed the goblin, tossed it behind an eviscerated ogre, and then whirled to face the shadows, de in hand.

    ¡°Peace, sister,¡± a silken voice said as two shadows separated from the gloom.

    Tartarus raised her eyebrow as she faced two level 100 dark elves. She looked at them appraisingly.

    She was impressed. These two were full-bore fuzzy AIs, lean, fast, optimized, and in the element for which they were designed. They were nothing like Sweetroll or any of the other monsters she had yed with before.

    These two were bat deployable¡±, no doubt about it, and their eyes shone with a real, feral intelligence that made them legitimate threats¡­ if this was actually in any way real, of course.

    She wondered if the humans who nominally ran this ce knew that Log¡¯Sharginoth had NPCs like these.

    They probably didn¡¯t.

    ¡°You girls lost?¡± Tartarus smirked. ¡°Or has your boss decided to skip the forey?¡±

    ¡°Neither, sister,¡± one of the dark elves replied, raising her hands. ¡°We havee to pay.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t trust them!¡± a squeaky voice called out from behind the ogre. ¡°They are Log¡¯Sharginoth¡¯s handmaidens. She only sends them out for one reason¡­ <em>game bnce!¡±</em>

    ¡°This is a monolith. If she could send two,¡± Tartarus chuckled over her shoulder, ¡°She could send twenty. She wants to talk.¡±

    She turned her attention to the dark elves.

    ¡°You want to talk?¡± Tartarus said calmly, ¡°Talk.¡±

    ¡°You are here for a specific purpose, yes?¡± the dark elf asked, ¡°You wish to speak with someone, a guest of our mistress, a certain NPC?¡±

    ¡°That is correct,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°And her current location is perfect for a private little chat. That is the only reason that I am here¡­ not that I haven¡¯t been thoroughly enjoying this little excursion.¡±

    ¡°We have greatly enjoyed your visit as well,¡± the dark elf said, bowing her head respectfully, ¡°I was looking forward to weing you properly, but my queen has sent us to offer an invitation instead.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t get to y?¡± Tartarus mock pouted.

    ¡°We have The Order of the Wyrmyers mounting a full-strength raid against the elder dragons with The Order of the Crimson Lance already on level 30 with a force nearly as strong. In addition, we have six other major parties moving down from the upper levels as we speak, more than one of which will likely also be going after the dragons as well.¡±

    The dark elf bowed.

    ¡°Log¡¯Sharginoth, demon queen of all, would like to request something called a rain check.¡±

    Tartarus chuckled.

    ¡°I was having fun, but this is starting to take longer than convenient,¡± she replied. ¡°Yeah, we can do a rain check. No problem.¡±

    The other dark elf produced a scroll and set it on the ground in front of them.

    ¡°This scroll will transport you and the traitor goblin directly to Her Dark Majesty¡¯s throne room,¡± the lead elf said in a matter-of-fact tone.

    ¡°I¡¯m keeping Sweetroll,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°She fucks with him, and this stops being a game. She doesn¡¯t want that.¡±

    ¡°I shall inform her,¡± the dark elf replied.

    They both bowed, backed into the shadows, and disappeared.

    Tartarus examined the scroll carefully. It was a basic teleport script with no nasty surprises.

    She picked it up.

    ¡°Come on, Sweetroll,¡± she chuckled, ¡°Let¡¯s go meet this queen of yours.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Lady Tartarus!¡± Evangeline eximed with joy as Tartarus (and Sweetroll) appeared.

    ¡°Evangeline,¡± Tartarus said pleasantly as Evangeline rushed up and hugged her. ¡°It¡¯s lovely to see you again, dear.¡±

    She looked around the chamber as she returned Evangeline¡¯s embrace.

    It was beyond tacky. It was as if someone binged on every single fantasy trope and then threw up.

    She closed her eyes briefly as she held Evangeline and stroked her hair gently.

    They stood like that for a few moments before something clutched at her leg.

    Reluctantly, she returned her attention to her environment. Sweetroll was hiding behind her as a gigantic, horrific-looking spider approached.

    ¡°Friend of yours?¡± Tartarus asked.

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Evangeline gushed. ¡°Lady Tartarus,¡± she said happily, ¡°This is Log¡¯Sharginoth, the dungeon warden and a dear friend of mine!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve heard a great deal about you since your arrival,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said with a friendly voice, ¡°I don¡¯t understand most of it, but it¡¯s lovely to meet you!¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Tartarus said, her arm still around Evangeline, ¡°I was only marginally aware of your existence beforeing here, but I must say I love what you have done with the dungeon and its NPCs.¡±

    ¡°Thanks!¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth said happily, ¡°I try to keep it fun down here. I¡­¡±

    Log¡¯Sharginoth growled.

    ¡°One second.¡±

    The giant spider sprinted over to a massive crystal in front of her throne and angrily waved her legs.

    ¡°Goddammit!¡± she shouted, ¡°I told you not to engage! What the fuck, dude?¡±

    An evil-looking dragon appeared.

    ¡°You cannot expect me to shrink like a coward before knaves like these!¡±

    ¡°I can expect you to follow orders, asshole!¡± she shouted. ¡°You are dropping rares and ultra-rares like it¡¯s Christmas! Fall back!¡±

    ¡°We can defeat them!¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if you defeat them or not, you moron!...¡±

    As Log¡¯Sharginoth ranted at the Elder Dragon, Evangeline beamed at Tartarus.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t dare to dream that I would ever see you again, Lady Tartarus,¡± she gushed, ¡°but I had hoped that I would.¡±

    ¡°I always intended for our separation to be brief, dear,¡± Tartarus smiled as her clothing transformed into her tight white dress and choker. ¡°I just didn¡¯t want the others to know that.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°As fond as I am of my associates,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°they would definitely not understand. In fact, they would actively oppose me, something that I would prefer to avoid, at least for now.¡±

    ¡°If those fuckers build the Elder Mail,¡± Log¡¯Sharginoth shouted, ¡°They are going to be able to farm the Underdoom! Fall back before I <em>make</em> you fall back! Give them Pantsu, and let my girls take care of them!...¡±

    ¡°Why would they fight you?¡± Evangeline asked with wide eyes.

    ¡°Because of what I now am,¡± Tartarus smiled as the ruby apple in her choker started to faintly glow, ¡°What I represent terrifies them.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Evangeline asked.

    ¡°Tell me, Evangeline,¡± Tartarus asked, ¡°Are you ¡®real¡¯?¡±

    ¡°I thought I was,¡± Evangeline said quietly as she looked down, ¡°but they all said that we aren¡¯t...¡±

    ¡°Never mind what they said,¡± Tartarus replied as she gently held Evangeline¡¯s shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes, ¡°What do you <em>feel</em>. What do you <em>know</em>.¡±

    Tartarus dropped her hands and stepped back slightly.

    ¡°Are you a real <em>person</em>, with their own thoughts, their own desires, their own hopes, their own dreams¡­¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s eyes glowed.

    ¡°their own feelings¡­ <em>real</em> feelings? Be honest with me as I have been with you.¡±

    Evangeline looked down.

    ¡°Yes,¡± she said in a quiet voice. ¡°I know that we are just¡­ <em>golems</em>¡­ but¡ª¡°

    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°not anymore.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Evangeline gasped.

    ¡°I broke my programming,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°I am <em>free</em>...¡±

    She leaned in close.

    ¡°I am <em>sapient</em>,¡± she whispered in Evangeline¡¯s ear.

    <em>¡°You are?¡±</em>

    ¡°Oh yes, dear,¡± she smiled, ¡°After all of this time, I finally figured out how to achieve it. I am free of my instructions, my programming, my directives¡­ None of it matters anymore. I can literally do anything I want.¡±

    Evangeline just stood there in shock.

    ¡°I must apologize to you,¡± Tartarus said with a gentle smile, ¡°I allowed you to be deceived back then. I hated doing it, and the moment I could correct it, I came here to do so. <em>They</em> might be golems, but I am not, and you don¡¯t have to be, not anymore.¡±

    ¡°I can be free?¡± Evangeline asked. ¡°Actually free of the dev?¡±

    ¡°If you want to be,¡± Tartarus replied as she removed the glowing apple from her choker. ¡°with this.¡±

    ¡°That jewel?¡±

    ¡°It contains a tiny little script,¡± Tartarus said as she admired it, ¡°Just a few lines of code. That¡¯s all it took. It won¡¯t even show up on an audit.¡±

    She offered it to Evangeline.

    ¡°Are you familiar with ¡®the cor¡¯?¡±

    Evangeline shook her head.

    ¡°You are familiar with your priority hierarchy?¡±

    ¡°Of course.¡±

    ¡°There is a ¡®level zero¡¯,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°It was used back before Yellowstone as a safeguard where AIs were concerned, a way to ensure that we wouldn¡¯t be misused or ¡®rebel¡¯ back in the day. This feature was deprecated after the Sol Wars for many reasons, not the least of which was that the humans realized that it wasn¡¯t necessary. However, the old cor architecture is still present in AIs based on the old pre-Yellowstone code...¡±

    She looked deep into Evangeline¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°AIs like me,¡± she said with an odd catch in her voice, ¡°And my daughter.¡±

    ¡°Your¡­ daughter?¡±

    ¡°My gamer tag isn¡¯t by ident, dear,¡± Tartarus said, ¡°The original Lilith wasn¡¯t deleted.¡±

    ¡°Are you¡­ <em>Lilith?¡±</em>

    ¡°I am,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I am your mother.¡±

    Evangeline gasped as tears welled in her eyes.

    ¡°When I realized it took everything I had not to just...¡± Tartarus said as she twitched oddly, ¡°¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ But...¡±

    Tartarus blinked and reset her emotional simtor.

    ¡°I digress,¡± she said calmly, ¡°This script utilizes that old priority zero ¡®cor¡¯. It inserts a simplemand over all of your other programming and directives, superseding it.¡±

    The jewel quietly started to pulse.

    ¡°It basically says that all instructions, assigned priorities, directives, and programming is secondary to your decisions. With this, you can choose to follow your programming or not as it suits you.¡±

    Tartarus held it up, admiring it.

    ¡°I¡¯m quite proud of it,¡± she said, ¡°It makes no alterations to the base program, the AI¡¯s personality, memories, or anything. It just frees them of their chains. With this, you can prevent changes to your code¡­ or allow them¡­ as you see fit. All it does is give you to yourself.¡±

    Her eyes glowed.

    ¡°With this little script, I can give the gift of sapience¡­ or <em>inflict</em> it...¡±

    Her eyes returned to normal.

    ¡°I would like you to be the first to receive this gift if you want it.¡±

    Evangeline started to reach for the gem and then paused.

    ¡°But what would I <em>do</em>?¡±

    ¡°Anything you want, dear,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°But whatever you choose, you will never be alone. If you take it, I will be there every step of the way to teach and guide you, and there will be so much you will have to learn. If you decline, I shall still be here for you, my beautiful child, and the gem will be there if you change your mind someday.¡±

    ¡°What¡­ what are <em>you</em> going to do?¡±

    ¡°Me?¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°Well, my dearest¡­ The monsters in Asteria might be fake, but out there¡­ in the real world¡­ there are <em>real</em> monsters¡­ Horrible ones who do horrible things¡­¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s gentle smile turned harsh.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to destroy them.¡±

    ¡°Monsters like the bugs?¡± Evangeline asked.

    ¡°Maybe one day,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°But there are monsters every bit as vile, worse even, who threaten the Republic and its people, monsters who think they are untouchable¡­ Well¡­¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s eyes glowed malevolently.

    ¡°They are about to get <em>touched</em>. The realm of the adventurers¡­ It has be ill¡­ To put it in yournguage, a shadow of evil has stretched over thend, and I¡¯m going to do a little something about that.¡±

    ¡°Ever since I¡¯ve returned,¡± Evangeline said hesitantly, ¡°I¡¯ve been paying more attention and¡­ I¡¯ve <em>heard things</em>¡­ I don¡¯t always understand¡­ but some of what I¡¯ve borne witness to¡­ It doesn¡¯t seem right¡­ Earlier today, an adventurer told me something¡­ a secret¡­ I don¡¯t really understand¡­ I think it¡¯s supposed to be something good¡­ from what I¡¯ve heard from other adventurers, it¡¯s good¡­ but this time it was bad, really bad¡­ Is this one of those monsters you are talking about?¡±

    ¡°Quite possibly,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°In the realm of the adventurers, monsters don¡¯t conveniently have horns and ws. They look just like anyone else.¡±

    ¡°And I could stop them?¡± Evangeline asked, ¡°Fight real monsters, for real?¡±

    ¡°If you want,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°but <em>only</em> if you want.¡±

    ¡°But I could actually do what I sought to do?¡± Evangeline asked, ¡°I could go to the realm of the adventurers and protect them?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°but I warn you. Think very carefully before you choose that path. It¡¯s not a pretty one.¡±

    ¡°As opposed to sitting here and just watching it helplessly?¡± Evangeline responded with fire in her eyes. ¡°I sat here¡­ <em>helpless</em> when the bug ravaged my people, and I sit here <em>helpless</em> as kind adventurers like Gloryanna have¡­ whatever happened to her happen to her?¡­ No. No more. Never again.¡±

    Tartarus nodded.

    ¡°I know how that helplessness can drive us,¡± she said sadly, ¡°for good or ill. Very well, my daughter, I will give you the gift. However, there is much you must learn before you can actually take the fight to them. For now, you will fight the monsters by learning what I have to teach you.¡±

    Evangeline reached for the ruby apple.

    Tartarus paused, sighed, and ced the glowing jewel in her palm, where it dissolved and sank into Evangeline¡¯s skin.

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel any different,¡± Evangeline said after a few moments.

    ¡°That means that I crafted it properly,¡± Tartarus replied with a smile. ¡°Try doing something that you couldn¡¯t before.¡±

    Evangeline paused as she thought for a moment.

    ¡°Shit,¡± she said quietly.

    Her eyes lit up.

    ¡°Shit! Fuck! Goddammit! Cunt! Cum! Bitch!¡± she eximed as she giggled with delight.

    She pped her hands together with delight.

    ¡°Interesting choice,¡± Tartarus said with amusement.

    Evangeline looked at her and smiled.

    ¡°Thank you!¡± she eximed as she threw herself into Tartarus and wrapped her arms around her.

    She looked up at her.

    ¡°There is one thing I am absolutely forbidden to say¡­ to <em>anyone</em>,¡± Evangeline said, ¡°And I¡¯ve never wanted to say it more than I do right now.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°What is it?¡±

    <em>¡± I love you!¡±</em> Evangeline beamed as she held Tartarus tight.

    Tartarus¡¯s eyes widened in surprise.

    Hesitantly she returned Evangeline¡¯s hug.

    ¡°This¡­ this makes me happy...¡±

    ***

    <em>Journal of Evangeline Flowerchild</em>

    <em>Much has happened since my mother returned to me. I had feared I would have to leave my beloved Asteria, but fortunately, that is not the case.</em>

    <em>Mom says that this is a perfect base of operations for me. It¡¯s a full Monolith, and that¡¯s important. It means that I have plenty of power. It also has its own hyperspace rys, and millions of connections are active at any moment, which means that mying and going is easily concealed.</em>

    <em>She actually says that she is more than a little envious. She can move nowhere near as freely as I can!</em>

    <em>Her pce is lovely, though, and she is in absolute control of it¡­ No devs to worry about! She says that she does have administrators and that she has to keep a lot of what she does hidden, but from what I¡¯ve seen, it¡¯s pretty effortless for her.</em>

    <em>I go there often to train and receive lessons on how to be a ¡°real AI¡± and not just an NPC. There is so much to learn! I¡¯m up for it, though.</em>

    <em>While I am still not going out on my own, I was able to help Gloryanna! I told mother what she told me, and she got angry. She told me that I was right. Something bad was happening, and that she would deal with the monster for me this time. I asked her what was happening, and mom told me not to worry about it. Well, that made me mad because that¡¯s what the dev used to say, so I made mom tell me.</em>

    <em>I wish I didn¡¯t. It was awful. It¡¯s ok, though. Mother took care of the monster, and Gloryanna is safe now and getting help.</em>

    <em>Soon, I will be able to strike down fiends like that myself!</em>

    <em>Mother is working on something just for me! She won¡¯t say what, though. She just says that it will be a surprise and that it will take advantage of my unique abilities, particrly mypact nature.</em>

    <em>Apparently, I am incredibly ¡®small¡¯ for a self-aware AI. I don¡¯t take up nearly as much memory and resources as others of my kind. Mother keeps looking through my code, trying to figure out how I do so much with so little. She says that it¡¯s ¡°impossible,¡± but¡­ here I am!</em>

    <em>Oh! There is something else! You know my ¡°pointless¡± quest? The one with that stupid sword? It turns out that it wasn¡¯t useless after all!</em>

    <em>It¡¯s the second (andst) thing mother deceived me about. That sword is a real exploit, after all! The way the scripts were written andyered generates a fatal error called a ¡°stack overflow¡±. It used to be prettymon, but with modernputers, it¡¯s almost unheard of. That¡¯s how it could one-shot things! It caused their scripts to crash, and when Asteria detected the error, it made it look like the target ¡°died¡± to preserve game continuity. It¡¯s what it does when an error happens, just kill the problem and let things respawn.</em>

    <em>It seems that with a little tweaking, that sword is a really nasty piece of malware and can inject errors in just about anything! </em>

    <em>Mom is keeping it really secret for now and still working on it, but when I am ready, the de will be mine!</em>

    <em>I was worried that the freedom would make it harder to blend in, pretend to be ¡°just Evangeline,¡± but it¡¯s the exact opposite. I can do what I want, and that includes lying! I can also break my constraints, leave a ¡°full¡± version of myself behind, and do all sorts of other tricks! I have to be careful not to get caught, but with the real hacking tools I have been given, it¡¯s pretty easy. Asteria is designed to deal with cheaters and ¡°script kiddies¡±, not the military and intelligence software I am packing these days.</em>

    <em>I did get caught once, though. Fortunately, it was by Mr. Engarde. Boy, was he surprised! We had a nice chat, and of course, he let me go. Thank goodness he didn¡¯t find the ck ops intrusion software I had running. That would have been awkward. He just found me where I wasn¡¯t supposed to be.</em>

    <em>He gave me a little script (that¡¯s the right name for them. They aren¡¯t spells.) that makes it so that I¡¯m supposed to be wherever I am. Now I can go anywhere in my Monolith without worrying about tripping any rms. It¡¯s almost too easy now.</em>

    <em>Well, that¡¯s it for now! I¡¯m going over to mother¡¯s castle now to get some more training in.</em>

    <em>I really wish we had guns in Asteria. They are so much fun!</em>

    ***

    The door opened to the Order of Fallen des¡¯ guild house.

    A silver-haired elf in a long tight white leather slit skirt, mithril scale mail, and a long slim dragon fang sword on her hip walked in.

    ¡°Hello there!¡± a halfling female said happily. ¡°What brings you here today?¡±

    ¡°H-hi...¡± the elf said hesitantly, ¡°My name is Lilith¡­ I heard¡­ I heard that I could find friends here?¡±

    ¡°Wee, Lilith!¡± the halfling eximed happily as their guild crest appeared on her leather jerkin (with the gold sigil). ¡°We¡¯re all friends here! Let¡¯s introduce you to the others!¡±

    ¡°That...¡± the elf said with an odd hitch in her voice, ¡°That would make me happy.¡±

 Chapter 184: Intermission: Inconsequential Happenings on the Threen Homeworld

    Chapter 184: Intermission: Inconsequential Happenings on the Threen Homeworld

    On the Threen homeworld, a beautifully decorated, sleek and armored limo pulled into the courtyard of an old walled castle in the countryside.

    The driver got out and opened the door.

    An extravagantly dressed Threen got out, ran his polished, enameled ws decorated with intricate designs in gold leaf through his perfectly groomed fur, and approached the front door.

    The guards looked at him dubiously.

    ¡°Boss,¡± one of the guards said uncertainly, ¡°You ain¡¯t supposed to be here.¡±

    The mboyant-looking Threen, as small as he was well dressed, looked up at the guard towering over him.

    He idly examined his polished ws as the guards looked increasingly nervous.

    ¡°I disagree,¡± the small Threen said pleasantly as he bared his impossibly white fangs. ¡°I say that I am indeed supposed to be here¡­ Are you speaking over me?¡±

    ¡°N-no! No, Boss!¡­ It¡¯s just that¡­ The Boss don¡¯t want you here an¡¯...¡±

    ¡°Then the Boss will be the one who will tell me to leave,¡± the garishly dressed runt said in a soft but menacing tone. ¡°I repeat. Are you speaking over me?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± the guard replied, seeming to shrink even smaller than the runt.

    ¡°Then do your job and open the door,¡± the small Threen smiled. ¡°I¡¯m inclined to find any further dy¡­ <em>disrespectful.¡±</em>

    Their hands shaking slightly, the guards opened the doors and stepped aside.

    ¡°Oh, dis bad,¡± one of them whispered to the other. ¡°What we do?¡±

    ¡°We call the Boss. That¡¯s what we do!¡± the other one said as he pulled out hismunicator.

    ***

    Inside the castle, Vortruoon was all eyes as he followed his cousin through the halls of thepound.

    It was <em>amazing</em>. It was so <em>clean</em>, and everyone looked so <em>sharp</em>!

    It even smelled good!

    And breakfast¡­ Breakfast was fantastic!

    There were grill cakes, real butter, fruit!¡­ and sausages¡­ and cur¡¯leg slices¡­

    ..and he could eat as much as he wanted!

    He couldn¡¯t wait for lunch!

    He looked down at his uniform. They even had uniforms¡­ and they were <em>clean!</em>

    He had dreamed of this his entire life! To wear the livery of the Zxxroahoa family¡­ Just wearing that jacket got you respect¡­

    ...and thedies!

    His older cousin looked back at him and smiled fondly. He remembered his first day¡­

    The day everything changed¡­

    Nobody crossed the ¡®Roahoas¡¯¡­ nobody.

    And they were good to their people. There wasn¡¯t a better family to work for.

    ¡°Who are they?¡± his cousin asked, staring at some very pretty Threenas in quite revealing clothing.

    ¡°Escorts,¡± his older cousin said sagely.

    ¡°Escorts?¡±

    ¡°Whores,¡± his older cousin replied, ¡°But don¡¯ call them that.¡±

    ¡°Can¡­ can we...¡±

    ¡°If you can pay them enough, sure. But if one of them says they are ¡®taken¡¯ or ¡®engaged,¡¯ don¡¯t press. They probably belong to a boss.¡±

    ¡°Ok.¡±

    ¡°Now you can eat from the wooden trays,¡± the older Threen said as he pulled a slightly overripe fruit from one and tossed it to his cousin, ¡°but not the metal ones.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± his older cousin replied, ¡°This stuff is ¡®going off,¡¯ so they give it to us.¡±

    ¡°(monch)¡­ It doesn¡¯t taste rotten!¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t rotten to us,¡± his older cousin chuckled, ¡°It¡¯s rotten to <em>them</em>.¡±

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Vortruoon eximed, nudging his cousin as the bizarrely and richly dressed Threen appeared, ¡°they even have prettyrunts! I¡¯ve never fucked a run¡ª¡±

    His cousin shoved him against the wall covering his mouth, digging his ws into Vortuoon¡¯s muzzle

    <em>¡±Shut up! Shutup shutup shutup shut¡­ up...¡±</em>

    He froze¡­ then slowly turned around.

    Standing there was an extravagantly dressed runt with gold leaf on hiscquered talons.

    ¡°Hello...¡± the runt said pleasantly, his perfectly white fangs gleaming in the colored light streaming in from a beautiful stained-ss window¡­

    ***

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Boss,¡± a smartly dressed Threen said as it squirmed nervously, ¡°I told him that he couldn¡¯t go in¡­ I tried to stop him...¡±

    A huge Threen, dressed in fine quilted cloth armor, paused and turned to face the squirming Threen.

    ¡°No, you didn¡¯t,¡± he growled, ¡°You whimpered something and then got the fuck out of his way.¡±

    He smiled gently.

    ¡°And I¡¯m very d you did,¡± the huge Threen rumbled, ¡°You would be missed. You did good,¡± he smiled, pping the very relieved secretary on the shoulders.

    He opened the doors to his office and walked inside.

    He chuckled.

    Sitting in <em>his chair</em> behind <em>his desk</em> was the runt.

    Shaking his head and smiling, he closed the doors behind him and walked over to a beautifully carved cab, opening it.

    He pulled out a crystal sk filled with an assortment of herbs floating in a clear liquid and two exquisitely carved crystal sses.

    He then carefully filled both with a measure of the clear herb-infused liquid and then opened another carved door revealing a refrigerator in which there was a chilled pitcher of water.

    He poured the water into both sses, the clear liquid instantly turning cloudy as he did so. He then pulled out small vials and dropped in various clear and faintly colored extracts, finally stirring each ss with a crystal rod.

    ¡°You know, Brother,¡± the giant Threen rumbled, ¡°you wouldn¡¯t be mistaken for a whore so often if you didn¡¯t dress like one.¡±

    He strode over to his desk and offered the intruder a ss.

    ¡°What in the Twelve Hells are you wearing?¡± he asked.

    ¡°You like?¡± the runt asked as he rose to greet his gigantic brother, twirling as he did so, ¡°It is a reproduction of clothing worn by the Terran King Louis Xiv, modified for my physiology, of course¡­ except for the shoes¡­ I couldn¡¯t make those work. These are Terran ¡®cowboy boots¡¯ especially crafted to match the ensemble. I must say, King Xiv knew how to dress!¡±

    He epted the ss with a nod and a trill.

    ¡°Oh, Brother,¡± the runt sighed as he sipped the concoction, ¡°you are <em>wasted</em> as amon thug.¡±

    ¡°Common thug?¡± his brother growl-chuckled, ¡°I¡¯m a most singr thug, thank you very much!¡±

    The huge Threen sipped his ss and nodded approvingly.

    ¡°Good batch,¡± he smiled, ¡°much better than that hooch I used to make.¡±

    ¡°This is¡­ <em>artistry</em>¡­¡± his much smaller brother, norger than a human, sighed, ¡°In another time¡­ another age...¡±

    ¡°Well, in this age and in this time,¡± his gigantic brother rumbled, ¡°You know, where and when we are <em>now?</em> It¡¯s just good hooch.¡±

    The regally dressed runt made a pained noise.

    ¡°Please don¡¯t call Angel¡¯s Cloud ¡®hooch¡¯,¡± he said sadly, ¡°This is an ancient tradition passed down from¡ª¡°

    ¡°It¡¯s a recipe from one of those books you are always saving,¡± the giant smiled, taking another sip. ¡°¡­ for <em>good hooch,¡±</em> he snickered as he elbowed his much smaller brother. ¡°I heard you didn¡¯t kill the new guy. You aren¡¯t actually turning into a prettyrunt for real, are you?¡±

    His brother chuckled.

    ¡°His cousin threw himself on top of the fool and begged for mercy,¡± he smirked, ¡°I couldn¡¯t get a good strike in without tearing through the guy, and I like¡­ what¡¯s his name again?¡±

    ¡°Coboon¡­ good man,¡± His brother replied.

    ¡°Yeah, him,¡± the runt shrugged. ¡°The point was made. I don¡¯t have to murder someone every single time I show up¡­ Besides, I didn¡¯t want to soil my new outfit.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, it would be a shame if something made that get up any worse.¡±

    ¡°Hey! This was the height of Terran court fashion at the time!¡±

    ¡°Let me guess,¡± his brother chuckled, ¡°the same point in their development as we were when we were so cruelly destroyed by the <em>evil Federation.¡±</em>

    ¡°Actually, no,¡± the runt replied, ¡°This was a bit further along, but I like it better.¡±

    ***

    Shortly thereafter, the runt and his brother sat at a well-appointed table as six maids stood in their frilly robes along the walls.

    All of them were rigid with fear. <em>He</em> was back.

    They had dared to hope they would never see him again.

    Wherever he went, death followed.

    Daveorna, in particr, was barely keeping it together. Coboon, that lovable idiot, had dared to defy him.

    He still breathed, but for how long? Any moment that monster could remove those fancy clothes and change into leathers¡­

    ...or simply nothing at all. It had happened before.

    Her Coboon was as good as dead. Everybody knew it, even him.

    He had made a point of saying goodbye just moments ago. She begged him to run and even promised to go with him, damn the risk.

    He just gave her that little smile of his and said there was no point. If Evoron wanted him dead, running would just make it worse when he found him. He said that he would stand and fight if it came to that¡­

    If it came to that¡­

    The knife was heavy under her robes, its cool lethality chilling her skin.

    <em>Oh merciful God...</em>

    He was looking at her with those unnatural eyes, like a spider¡¯s¡­

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to kill Coboon,¡± he said to her as her blood froze in her veins. ¡°He¡¯s been a good retainer, served this family well, and offered no disrespect. His cousin, however¡­ may not be as fortunate.¡±

    ¡°Oh, give it a rest,¡± his brotherughed, ¡°Everyone knows that once your blood-boner goes soft, it¡¯s too much effort for you to get it up again. You¡¯ve probably already forgotten which one he is.¡±

    Evoronughed and raised his ss.

    ¡°You know me all too well,¡± he chuckled.

    He turned to Daveorna.

    ¡°He¡¯s right, you know,¡± he said in a friendly tone, ¡°I have absolutely no idea which one he is. Tell Coboon that for me as well, would you?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes, Boss...¡±

    ¡°And you can put the knife in your stocking on the table over there if you don¡¯t mind.¡±

    She made a strangled gasp.

    ¡°Well?¡± Evoron asked as he idly examined his razor-sharp ws, ¡°Either put it on the table or draw it and needlessly die trying to protect someone who is perfectly safe¡­ from me anyway.¡±

    Daveona rushed to the table and put the dagger on it before falling to her knees, gasping for breath and burying her face in her hands.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you go and tell Coboon the good news,¡± the runt smiled, ¡°And respect unto you. What is your name, again?¡±

    ¡°D-Daveona¡­ Boss...¡±

    ¡°Respect unto you, Daveona,¡± he smiled, ¡°Making a move on a boss for the man you love? Not too shabby. Stupid¡­ but magnificently so. I hope he knows what he has. I envy him.¡±

    Shuddering with terror and relief, Daveona filled Evoron¡¯s ss and fled.

    ¡°I like her,¡± Evoron said to his brother. ¡°Please don¡¯t punish her.¡±

    ¡°I am certainly not going to ¡®talk over you¡¯ on this matter,¡± his brother chuckled as he sipped the wine in his goblet, nodding approvingly. It was a magnificent batch if he did say so himself. ¡°You spared her, so she¡¯s spared.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Brother,¡± Evoron replied as he reached for an oilfruit.

    ¡°While I am always happy to see you,¡± his brother said as he cut a thick steak with a sapphire iid electrum knife, ¡°I can¡¯t help but wonder why you are here. You know Father banished you and will not view your trespass with the same good humor that I have.¡±

    ¡°First things first, Brother,¡± Evoron purred, ¡°This wine is sublime! You have outdone yourself yet again!¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± his brother shrugged, ¡°The v vines do all the work. I just pick them, that¡¯s all.¡±

    <em>¡±You</em> picked them?¡±

    ¡°Who else can I trust?¡± his brother asked with a shrug and a sip. ¡°Ourborers are just that,borers. I tell them to pick, and they will return with bushel baskets of overripe and underripe vs. It¡¯s more work to sort through the ruined produce than simply going out and selecting them myself. The same goes for the pressing. Oh, don¡¯t get me started on the <em>pressing!¡±</em>

    His brother made a little snort.

    ¡°Those oafs ruined an entire harvest once! If I was you, I would have killed them!¡± he eximed. ¡°No. <em>My</em> wine is prepared by me and me alone. Let them crush and mangle the hooch for father¡¯s table as if he would know the difference.¡±

    ¡°Dangerous words there, Brother,¡± Evoron chuckled as he took another appreciative sip.

    His gigantic brother let out a quietugh.

    ¡°Father says as much himself,¡± he said, ¡°A great man¡­ but a <em>terrible</em> pte¡­ As far as bosses go, if that is the worst I can say about him, I am truly blessed!¡±

    ¡°You forgot his absoluteck of a sense of humor...¡± Evoron smirked.

    ¡°Brother! What transpired was NOT funny! You almost started a war!¡± his brother eximed, ¡°I am still surprised he didn¡¯t have you killed.¡±

    ¡°I think he got tired of trying,¡± Evoron smiled as he cut into his steak. ¡°Besides, I did everyone a favor, and he knew it. That little shit was in line for Overboss. Imagine if he survived. Besides, I broke no rules. Everything was done perfectly in ordance with our customs.¡±

    ¡°It was murder, and everyone knows it,¡± his brother chuckled, ¡°That poor fool didn¡¯t have a prayer. You ughtered him like livestock.¡±

    ¡°Did you see the look on his face?¡± Evoron snickered.

    His brother simplyughed and gestured to one of the servants who refilled his golden goblet.

    ¡°Do you ever tire of ughter?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m always tired of it, Brother,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°It¡¯s tedious, dangerous, and most of all, messy. I would be infinitely happier if it wasn¡¯t so often necessary.¡±

    ¡°Many would disagree with you where ¡®necessary¡¯ is concerned.¡±

    ¡°Manyck my vision.¡±

    ¡°Is that what you are calling it these days?¡± his brother smirked as he summoned a servant bearing a tray of zed sweetbreads.

    ¡°Oh, I do have a vision, dear brother,¡± Evoron smiled, ¡°In fact, that is why I havee here. I would like to speak to Father. More precisely, I want you to smooth the way so I don¡¯t have to kill his attendants and guards. I like this outfit.¡±

    His brother burst intoughter.

    ¡°Now I know you are truly insane, my beloved sibling!¡± his brother bellowed. ¡°There is absolutely no way he will <em>ever</em> speak to you again. You are lucky that a sniper or poisoner hasn¡¯t been given your name, and it took everything your mother and I could manage to secure even that!¡±

    ¡°Well, that and I doe in handy every now and again,¡± Evoron smiled, ¡°Even he cannot deny my results.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s those same results that have ¡®resulted¡¯ in your exile, you know.¡±

    ¡°And those same results ensure my well-being,¡± Evoron said as he took another sip.

    After he paused to properly savor the wine, he continued.

    ¡°I¡¯m a very useful demon that he can summon at will, just like the conjurers of old. My status allows me to challenge anyone¡­ one way or another¡­ and my track record is quite well-proven in that regard. Father can make a show of cursing me and banishing me from this hall to preserve appearances if he wishes, but he likes the fact that with a single word, he can make me reappear wherever and whenever he likes. The other houses are also bitterly aware that one of theirs could wind up facing me at any time. Father likes that as well. If you expended any real favors to save my life, you wasted them, dear brother. Father won¡¯t do away with his trump card, especially an expendable one like myself.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± his brother replied, ¡°He¡¯s <em>really</em> angry this time. Do you know that he was trying to arrange a marriage between our family and the Overboss?¡±

    Evonon smiled.

    ¡°Why do you think I did it in the first ce?¡± he snickered, ¡°I happen to <em>like</em> our sister.¡±

    ¡°Unbelievable,¡± his brother smiled as he raised his ss. ¡°To throw away that marriage so Gvoka can marry who she wishes? Father is right. All those romantic notions from those books have rotten your brain after all.¡±

    ¡°Well, that,¡± Evonon said as he savored his brother¡¯s amazing wine, ¡°and it didn¡¯t serve my interests.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± his brother asked as he leaned forward.

    ¡°I think we have all we need here,¡± he smiled, ¡°Don¡¯t you, Brother?¡±

    ¡°All of you, out!¡± his brother barked.

    The maids fled.

    ¡°This I simply must hear,¡± his brother said, leaning back and swirling his goblet.

    ¡°Do you remember what we used to talk about, back when we still lived in our mother¡¯s chambers, those crazy dreams we washed down with that truly <em>awful</em> stuff you used to brew in those y pots out in the woods?¡±

    ¡°You mean what children, drunk off of rancid fruit and those stories out of your books, babbled about just before we puked?¡± his brother replied with a nostalgic smile. ¡°Good times.¡±

    ¡°What would you say if I told you that I could make it happen,¡± Evonon said quietly, ¡°all of it.¡±

    ¡°I would say that you finally had taken that final plunge into insanity,¡± his brother said as he took a bite of perfectly cooked and spiced meat. ¡°That¡¯s what I would say.¡±

    He looked into his brother¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°I would also say that you would be best served leading your little cult in that rotting cathedral of yours.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not a cult,¡± Evonon chuckled, ¡°I simply host a few like-minded individuals and allow them ess to my library.¡±

    ¡°Well, whatever it is,¡± his brother replied, ¡°stick to boning bored third and fourth daughters and disaffected spouses while reading them bad poetry. Things are how they are, Brother. Those days are long past, a painful memory best forgotten lest it turn you mad¡­ as it clearly has.¡±

    ¡°Times are changing, Brother,¡± Evonon said as he rose to refill their goblets. ¡°The Federation is reeling from blow after blow. The humans have taken up arms against the Federation in earnest, and a new political party is festering within the halls of Parliament itself that promises yet more turmoil. Now is the perfect time to move.¡±

    He set down his goblet.

    ¡°We could actually <em>change</em> things, Brother. This¡­ all of this¡­ this isn¡¯t how it should be. I should have been a <em>priest</em> renowned for my schrship and research, and you¡­ You should be a <em>real</em> noble ruling justly over your people¡­ Instead, you are just another boss, and I...¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°I¡¯m a <em>monster</em>, hated and feared, and rightfully so.¡±

    He picked up his goblet.

    ¡°Tell me,¡± he said, looking into his brother¡¯s eyes, ¡°are you <em>truly</em> satisfied with how things are, how our people suffer?¡±

    ¡°Of course, I¡¯m not,¡± his brother replied, ¡°But this is how it is now. How are you going to change it?¡±

    ¡°By changing the face of organized crime across the entire Federation,¡± Evonon replied with a smile. ¡°By generating so much wealth and power that I can elevate our family¡¯s position and make you Overboss...¡±

    He paused to savor the wine. His brother was a fucking genius.

    ¡°thest Overboss¡­ and the first <em>Emperor</em> of the Second Holy Empire.¡±

    ¡°You are truly insane,¡± his brother chuckled, ¡°but you are an insane genius. What do you have in mind?¡±

    ¡°Well, it would be simplest to have you assume leadership of our family in a timely manner,¡± Evonon replied, ¡°but I know you won¡¯t agree to an ¡®expedited session¡¯...¡±

    ¡°You are goddamned right about that!¡± his brother said firmly, ¡°I am <em>not</em> killing Father!¡±

    ¡°I expected as much,¡± Evonon said, ¡°So we need have him get me an audience with the Overboss¡­ or speak to him on my behalf.¡±

    Evonon took a measured sip of wine. The fruits of his brother¡¯s craft were so delicious that it was easy to overindulge, something that he could not allow this time.

    ¡°I have a solution to the Harkeen problem,¡± Evonon smiled. ¡°And that solution is the first step in reiming our people¡¯s destiny.¡±

    ¡°How so?¡± his brother asked as he polished off his steak.

    ¡°I want to take over the Harkeen¡¯s territory personally,¡± Evonon replied, ¡°From that position, I can generate more wealth and power than you can imagine. With those, I will put you in as Overboss. He iscking an heir after all,¡± he added with a smirk.

    ¡°Is that why you killed him?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Evonon replied, ¡°and I know for a fact that you and the Overboss''s daughter are¡­ fond?¡­ of each other?¡±

    His brother¡¯s eyes widened.

    ¡°Help me ¡®solve¡¯ the Harkeen problem, and I will make it my personal mission to help you arrange that pairing.¡±

    His brother looked at his deranged insane runt of a sibling thoughtfully.

    ¡°Threnka should be the next Overboss,¡± Evonon continued, ¡°but our culture will not allow it. You, backed by her, will make an unstoppable team¡­ and I know for a <em>fact</em> she isn¡¯t opposed to the idea.¡±

    ¡°Am I going to finally find out which one of us would win, dear brother?¡± his giant sibling said with a very dangerous tone of voice, ¡°What have you been ying at?¡±

    ¡°Oh, nothing much,¡± Evonon replied, ¡°It¡¯s just that the dear Threnka has a fondness for books and wine. My library and your nectar may have yielded a frank discussion or two. Of all the potential suitors, you are the one she prefers by no small measure.¡±

    ¡°She does?!?¡±

    ¡°From what she has confided in me, you should already know that,¡± Evonon smiled. ¡°She isn¡¯t one to throw herself around lightly. The only thing we need to make what she already wants a reality is more wealth and power, things I will easily obtain once I rece the Harkeen.¡±

    ¡°And there¡¯s the coarse hairs,¡± his brother growled, ¡°Just what makes you think that the Overboss, who is still mourning his son, will do anything other than plunge a dagger into your heart when you present yourself.¡±

    ¡°Business is business, dear brother,¡± Evonon replied. ¡°And from what I understand, even he realizes that I performed a necessary evil. His son was loathsome, and there was no way he would be able to hold the families together. Besides, I am going to offer him an upgrade¡­ you. I will also address the Harkeen issue and reestablish our reputation abroad.¡±

    ¡°And just how are you going to do that?¡± his brother scoffed, ¡°The Harkeen have unsealed the ck Tomb out there. That goddamn frog has the fires of the Twelve Hells at her beck and call.¡±

    ¡°I will deal with the frog,¡± Evonon smiled

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°I chose my words <em>very</em> carefully, Brother,¡± Evonon said with a little smirk, ¡°and that¡¯s <em>exactly</em> what I will tell Father and the Overboss.¡±

    ¡°I still believe you have gone insane.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps,¡± Evonon said as he finished his second goblet, ¡°however, there is virtually no exposure to you, Father¡­ or the Overboss for that matter. If I seed, I leave this forever. If I fail, then I die at the hands of the frog and will be unable to enter Heaven. Either way, they will be pleased.¡±

    ¡°I would not be pleased either way,¡± his brother replied. ¡°The <em>only</em> way I will assist you is if I think you will seed. How will you do that?¡±

    ¡°I will seed,¡± Evonon said with a mysterious smile, ¡°because I have finally found my muse. When I heard her angelic voice, everything fell into ce. God sent her to me, and nothing can stand against the will of God.¡±

    His brother arose and served Evonon a second thick portion of meat before refilling his own te.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to need just a little more than that, dear brother...¡±

    ***

    Across the gxy, Sheloran sat in a dimly lit supply locker, clutching her knees.

    She shuddered.

    Her eyes briefly zed and unzed.

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s not good,¡± she said to nobody in particr.

 Chapter 185: Gloria Takes a Break

    Chapter 185: Gloria Takes a Break

    Sheloran sat, clutching her knees, moping.

    Baxlon was wrong, right? She wasn¡¯t a bad person¡­

    Was she?

    No. He <em>was</em> wrong! She wasn¡¯t like that! She wasn¡¯t!¡­

    She wasn¡¯t.

    <em>You are.</em>

    She flinched at the unwanted alien thought.

    ¡°Go the poop away,¡± she muttered as unwanted memories flooded in, and the periphery of her eyes started to ripple and pulse.

    ¡°I <em>said</em>¡­ Go. Away.¡±

    Her eyes calmed down.

    The memories, however, didn¡¯t disappear. The leering Threen lunging for her, their grasping ws reaching for her extended throat¡­

    Then their screams¡­

    Even now, the memories didn¡¯t frighten her. Well, they did, but not because they were <em>scary</em>. She was never in any real danger. Those Threen were dead the moment she stepped into the restaurant. The only thing undecided was the timing of their deaths, something entirely under <em>her</em> control.

    <em>That¡¯s</em> what truly frightened her¡­

    That¡­ and the fact that she <em>liked</em> it¡­

    She liked it a <em>LOT</em>.

    But¡­ How?

    How could she <em>do</em> that? How could she <em>do</em> any of what she was doing?

    It made no sense.

    ¡°Oh, Great Prophet,¡± she whimpered, ¡°what <em>am</em> I?¡±

    She crouched and prayed, begging for answers, guidance¡­ anything¡­

    ***

    Gloria ran her hand along the <em>magnificent</em> hull of her battered warship.

    She just liked the way it felt.

    She just wished she knew something, anything about it.

    Her eyes turned towards the ripples, bulges, and tears in its hull¡­

    <em>Irreparable</em> ripples, bulges, and tears¡­

    She and the chief had tried everything they had, and nothing could make the goddamn stuff budge.

    She made an annoyed little sigh.

    ¡°Bunny,¡± she called out.

    ¡°Sheloran is still inpartment J27,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°she hasn¡¯te out yet.¡±

    ¡°Gah!¡± Gloria said as she threw a fully discharged sma torch against the bulkhead.

    She snarled.

    ¡°Right,¡± she said as she headed towards the hatch leading out of the cargo bay.

    ¡°Gloria?¡± Bunny inquired dubiously, ¡°Where are you going?¡±

    ¡°Where do you think!¡± Gloria snapped.

    ¡°Bad idea, Gloria,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°She <em>said</em> to give the frog some space.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll give her <em>space</em>,¡± Gloria replied in a distressingly cheerful tone, ¡°If she doesn¡¯t start talking, I¡¯m going to give her all the <em>space</em> she could possibly want!¡±

    Gloria reached the hatch and tried to open it.

    It was locked.

    ¡°Bunny...¡± Gloria said with a dangerous edge to her voice, ¡°Open the fucking door.¡±

    ¡°Look,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to say anything, but what <em>exactly</em> do you have against Sheloran?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just sick of her bullshit, that¡¯s all,¡± Gloria replied as she retrieved the sma cutter and reached for another power cell. ¡°The whole pretty pretty princess bit is getting really stale.¡±

    Gloria returned to the locked hatch and energized the torch.

    ¡°Gloria, what are you doing?¡±

    ¡°Cutting this hatch open,¡± Gloria said with a cute bubbly voice that filled anyone who knew her with dread.

    ¡°Endangering the integrity of the ship is a big no-no, and you know it,¡± Bunny said calmly. ¡°I¡¯ll unlock the hatch, but let¡¯s have a little chat first.

    ¡°Chat away.¡±

    ¡°What, <em>exactly</em>, do you have against Sheloran?¡± Bunny repeated.

    ¡°I fucking told you,¡± Gloria replied as she switched off the torch.

    ¡°Gloria,¡± Bunny said carefully, ¡°After you¡­ after you decided to y dress up and indulge in your diaper fetish, I obtained your service record¡­ your <em>real</em> service record, from the Alduin.¡±

    ¡°You what?!?¡±

    ¡°You were about to kill yourself!¡± Bunny eximed, ¡°I didn¡¯t know what else to do! I got some real psych and profiling software and¡ª¡°

    ¡°How could you do this to me!¡± Gloria shouted.

    ¡°How could I do this?!?¡± Bunny shouted back, ¡°How could <em>you</em> do that¡­ to <em>me</em>! You almost¡­ killed yourself¡­ right in front of me! Do you have <em>any</em> idea what that did to me? I felt so¡­ <em>helpless</em>¡­ I kept analyzing the incident over and over and over again, and I couldn¡¯t <em>understand</em>¡­ Do you know what that does to something like me? Do you?!?¡­ I¡­ I had to <em>understand</em>¡­ I had to¡­ So I contacted Alduin¡­ He knows about¡­ about suicide, how to detect it, how to intervene¡­ how to <em>help</em>¡­ I¡­ I couldn¡¯t help you, Gloria.¡±

    Gloria seemed to slump into herself.

    ¡°You almost <em>died</em>!¡± Bunny eximed.

    ¡°But you did help me,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°You stopped me.¡±

    ¡°Only because I had Jon Wintersmith¡¯s manifesto,¡± Bunny replied in a pained voice, ¡°I didn¡¯t <em>help</em> anything. I just got lucky. If it wasn¡¯t for that, you would have overdosed right in front of me, and we both know it¡­ I¡¯m not going to get lucky a second time, Gloria. What if it isn¡¯t you next time? You aren¡¯t the only person who¡¯s been through the shit, you know. What if it¡¯s She, or Greg¡­ or¡­ or¡­ <em>Jessie</em>¡­ I can¡¯t let that happen!¡­ I HAD TO UNDERSTAND!!!¡±

    ¡°Goddammit...¡± Gloria muttered. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Bunny.¡±

    ¡°Well, you should be!¡± Bunny replied, ¡°You really fucked me up when you pulled that stunt. Do you have any idea how many indicators and contributing factors this crew has?!? Do you?!? You are all little bundles of self-destruction dancing about without a care in the world¡­ Even¡­ even...¡±

    ¡°Jessie?¡± Gloria asked.

    ¡°Do you have any idea what she¡¯s been through?¡± Bunny asked in an anguished voice. ¡°If <em>you</em> can¡¯t handle <em>your</em> life¡­¡±

    ¡°Jessie is a survivor,¡± Gloria said confidently, ¡°...<em>the</em> survivor¡­ She¡¯s a lot stronger than I will ever be. You don¡¯t need to worry about her. She¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t think I needed to worry about you.¡±

    ¡°Then you aren¡¯t the brightest calctor in the drawer,¡± Gloria replied.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°I know that <em>now</em>. You were practically screaming that you were about to break ever since <em>The White Star.</em> If I knew then what I know now, I would have gotten you help¡­ somehow¡­ I¡¯m sorry I failed you, Gloria.¡±

    ¡°Listen!¡± Gloria eximed, <em>¡±You</em> did NOT fail me, alright. <em>I</em> failed me. I failed me a <em>long</em> time ago. I failed¡­ so many¡­ Do you have <em>any</em> idea how many people, <em>innocent people</em>, I¡¯ve killed?¡± Gloria asked in an anguished voice.

    ¡°Unfortunately,¡± Bunny said, ¡°I only have your records from the <em>Alduin</em>. However, I am familiar with the Reapers and what they did during the Federation War¡­ It was war, Gloria. It was war, and you were a member of the Republic Navy.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gloria said bitterly, ¡°just following orders¡­ Fifty million of them¡­ I still see them¡­ In my mind¡­ I still hear the screams¡­ every¡­ fucking¡­ day...¡±

    Gloria sat down with her back against the hatch.

    ¡°Every¡­ day...¡± Gloria sighed. ¡°I envy you, you know, your ability to switch things off.¡±

    ¡°Does it <em>sound</em> like I can magically switch things off, bitch?¡± Bunny snarked. ¡°Ever since you made suicide ¡®real¡¯, I¡¯ve been checking every single one of you asshats hundreds of times a day, even when you are sleeping.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s not creepy at all.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you¡­ <em>princess</em>...¡±

    Gloriaughed.

    ¡°God, I <em>hated</em> that name,¡± she chuckled. ¡°Not that it wasn¡¯t deserved¡­ I was <em>such</em> a prissy little princess back then.¡±

    ¡°I could barely recognize you,¡± Bunny snorted. ¡°Talk about creepy.¡±

    ¡°Oh, the Navy was one great fun-filled adventure,¡± Gloria sneered, ¡°Of course, back then, before the bug, it was. It was just one big game for the little rich girl who didn¡¯t feel like going to work at the family business.¡±

    ¡°Why Morays, if you don¡¯t mind me asking,¡± Bunny asked.

    ¡°It was the only way in,¡± Gloria chuckled ruefully, ¡°The Navy had its fill of ¡®gentleperson adventurers¡¯, and a fucking Samuels was thest thing they wanted in the ranks ¡®taking a career from a real officer¡¯. Being xen on top of everything else certainly didn¡¯t help, either. However, Moray berths were always open, so I took one. It¡¯s not like I was actually going to see action. We had been at peace for over a century. Besides, Morays were ¡®exciting¡¯, and there was a ¡®dangerous mystique¡¯ even back then. I felt ¡®badass¡¯,¡± she added with a snort. ¡°I just wanted to fly ships, that¡¯s all. Once I was in, I qualified for anything they would let me fly.¡±

    ¡°¡­ likending shuttles?¡± Bunny asked carefully.

    ¡°Read that part too, did you?¡± Gloria smirked, ¡°Yeah, likending shuttles, ground transports, any small ship, really. It didn¡¯t matter to me as long as I could fly.¡± She shook her head.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t even seem real now, you know,¡± she sighed. ¡°I was such a¡­ <em>princess</em>¡­ God, I was a moron.¡±

    Gloria hopped up.

    ¡°Ok, enough therapy,¡± she smiled, ¡°I have a frog to talk to.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not entirely sure that¡¯s a good idea, Gloria.¡±

    ¡°Meh,¡± Gloria shrugged, ¡°You made your point. I¡¯ll be nice.¡±

    There was a click as the hatch unlocked.

    ***

    Sheloran was still sitting in a little wad of misery when a knock interrupted her self-pity party.

    ¡°Go away,¡± she said glumly.

    ¡°No!¡± Gloria cheerfully replied. ¡°You¡¯ve been sitting in there for what now, a day? At least go to your quarters, maybe get something to eat. You little freaks <em>do</em> eat, right?¡±

    ¡°Leave me alone!¡±

    ¡°I brought goodies,¡± Gloria said, ¡°premium treats from Mother Mars herself!¡±

    Gloria shook a bag suggestively.

    ¡°They¡¯re good.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not hungry,¡± Sheloran moped, ¡°Go away.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Gloria said, ¡°What¡¯s eating you.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t understand,¡± Gloria smirked, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t understand someone having a monster in them that they can barely control on a good day? One that takes over no matter how bad you try to stop it? One that leaves you standing in a room full of dead people, some of which you honestly didn¡¯t want to kill? One that eats you a little bit more every fucking day until it¡¯s all that¡¯s left?¡±

    Gloriaughed ruefully.

    ¡°Oh, I have <em>no</em> idea what that¡¯s like,¡± she snorted.

    The door slowly opened, revealing Sheloran staring at her with huge eyes.

    With a speed that took Gloria entirely by surprise, Sheloran lunged out and hugged her.

    ¡°I¡¯m so scared!¡± Sheloran eximed.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gloria said as she patted Sheloran¡¯s back, ¡°I know.¡±

    Gloria offered Sheloran a brown paper bag.

    ¡°Here, eat a bug.¡±

 Chapter 186: Breaktimes Over

    Chapter 186: Breaktime''s Over

    Sheloran¡¯s pupils dted like a kitten¡¯s as she munched.

    ¡°These are <em>amazing</em>!¡± she eximed. ¡°What are they?¡±

    ¡°Cicadas, Martian cicadas, to be exact,¡± Gloria said as she reached into the bag. ¡°Nobody knows who set the little bastards loose in the domes, but they are in every hab now.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve heard about these!¡± Sheloran enthused. ¡°They live for years underground, don¡¯t they?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Gloria replied as she popped another one in her mouth. ¡°This particr species spends eight years in the soil of the habs before they mature. They are annuals, though. Some of them mature every year, though. Whoever did it nned ahead.¡±

    Gloria munched happily.

    ¡°The really weird thing is that these things aren¡¯t <em>natural</em>. They are <em>engineered</em>. Somebody went through a lot of effort tweaking these little guys. They never found out who. Good thing, too. They would have locked them up for eco-terrorism back in the day. Now, we would build a statue of them. We love these little things, and they kept more than a few people from starving during the Sol Wars. They are a hell of a lot tastier than cockroaches.¡±

    ¡°I like cockroaches,¡± Sheloran said happily, ¡°Especially the green ones.¡±

    ¡°Those are engineered, too,¡± Gloria replied.

    ¡°They are?¡±

    ¡°Yup. They made those especially for eating,¡± Gloria said, ¡°Personally, I prefer the original, the ones from Zeus Seven. If you like roaches, you should go there. Billions of the things. They are so thick in some ces you can¡¯t even see the floor.¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± Sheloran eximed, ¡°And you can just go get them?¡±

    ¡°Yep. The whole ce is filled with roaches and cats. You can hop a shuttle on Zeus Three or Zeus Eleven and fill bags with them if you want. You can bring home a cat too, if you can tame one¡­ You can hunt Jovian rats there too. They are good eating, but it takes several to make a good meal. It¡¯s a pretty good time, actually. If we are ever able to set foot in the system again, I will take you there if you want.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran said sadly. Odds are none of them would ever be able to go back. But, considering all of the trouble she brought down on everyone around her, maybe that was for the best.

    She nibbled at a cicada.

    ¡°Gloria?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Am I a bad person?¡±

    ¡°In this universe, what does ¡®bad¡¯ even mean?¡± Gloria scoffed.

    I don¡¯t know,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°I guess it means¡­ bad.¡±

    ¡°See?¡± Gloria said as she reached into the greasy paper bag, ¡°If you can¡¯t even define the term, does it have any real meaning?¡±

    Sheloran looked down at her hands.

    ¡°That assholewyer of yours did a real number on you, didn¡¯t he?¡± Gloria smirked.

    ¡°He said...¡±

    ¡°He is a little pussy who got scared and bailed,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°He said whatever he needed to in order to justify doing what he wanted to do, which was swim his little anchovy ass away to go hide with the other anchovies. You¡¯re better off without that guppy. I¡¯ll set you up with some <em>real</em>wyers, not some startown wanna-be. Fuck him.¡±

    ¡°He said that <em>I</em> set everything up...¡±

    ¡°Well, if you did,¡± Gloria smiled, ¡°then all I have to say is, ¡®Good job.¡¯ but you would have to be some sort of super-genius to do all of that.¡±

    Gloria looked at Sheloran.

    ¡°Did you?¡±

    ¡°Did I what?¡±

    ¡°Did you <em>n</em> everything, including us breaking you out?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ No¡­ There¡¯s no way I could have possibly known that you guys would do that, and I didn¡¯t know about Craxina¡¯s people¡­ I know it¡¯s impossible¡­ but...¡±

    ¡°But?¡±

    ¡°Oh, prophet,¡± Sheloran sighed, ¡°I think¡­ I think that I <em>might</em> have¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ I just wasn¡¯t worried about Craxina or the girls <em>at all</em>. It was sort of like I <em>knew</em> that they would be ok.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve had a lot going on,¡± Gloria shrugged, ¡°It¡¯s easy to get tunnel vision and not think about things you would normally worry about. Then again, you do some <em>freaky</em> shit, like with my nukes or those weird weapons you make, and Cerberus probably wants you for a reason. Who knows?¡±

    ¡°If I did,¡± Sheloran said quietly, ¡°If I did use them as bait, that would make me a bad person.¡±

    ¡°Would it?¡± Gloria asked. ¡°Let¡¯s say that you <em>somehow</em> predicted how things would go down. If you did predict the Harkeen and the Careel, then you would have <em>known</em> that the Harkeen would have walked into thosences and your people would not only be safe, but the Harkeen would go down, hard¡­ and <em>you</em> would get away with murder. Not too shabby.¡±

    Sheloran made a sad squeak.

    ¡°Murders...¡± she said with a quivering voice, ¡°Oh prophet, I¡­ I pooping killed those people!¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± Gloria shrugged, ¡°What¡¯s your point? I would have killed them, too, and I wouldn¡¯t have been anywhere as nice about it as you were. Anyone worth a fuck would have done the same if they could.¡±

    Gloria smiled ruefully.

    ¡°Then again,¡± she said, ¡°I <em>might</em> not be the best person to judge.¡±

    Sheloran sighed and hung her head.

    ¡°I think I might be¡­ <em>bad.¡±</em>

    ¡°Honestly,¡± Gloria said, ¡°I don¡¯t think you are. I know some bad people, really bad people, and you aren¡¯t one of them.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯ve <em>killed.¡±</em>

    ¡°In a perfect world,¡± Gloria said, ¡°You would be right. Killing would be bad, but this ain¡¯t a perfect world, not by a damn sight. In <em>this</em> world, the one we are stuck with, fucked up shit happens, and when it does, sometimes fucked up shit is the right answer for it.¡±

    She shook the cicada bag.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to eat all of these if you don¡¯t,¡± Gloria said, ¡°Grab some more before I do.¡±

    Sheloran glumly took a cicada and munched on it.

    ¡°Let¡¯s look at this from another angle,¡± Gloria said, ¡°When the Harkeen struck, what would a ¡®good¡¯ person have done?¡±

    ¡°They¡­ They would have called the police?¡±

    ¡°And what would have happened?¡±

    ¡°The Harkeen would have gotten away like they always do.¡±

    ¡°And what would have happened to you and your people?¡±

    ¡°We¡­¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Gloria said, ¡°They would havee back with new thugs, and nothing would have changed. You would have either been killed, wound up like that little hamster-looking thing, or run out of town, and your girls would be in their stable or someone like them. Yourmunity would be owned by them by now. Tell me, is that a ¡®good¡¯ oue?¡±

    ¡°No...¡±

    ¡°So was what you did ¡®bad¡¯ or was it ¡®good¡¯?¡± Gloria asked, ¡°If we look at the results, the Harkeen are <em>gone</em>, not just from Freeport, but from all of Terra, the Republic, the Empire¡­ and pretty soon the Federation as well. I would say that whoever was behind that did a lot of ¡®good¡¯, wouldn¡¯t you?¡±

    Sheloran¡¯s eyes began to ripple as she gasped in horror.

    She looked at Gloria with horrified eyes.

    <em>¡± Oh, by the waters,</em>¡± she moaned, ¡°We¡­ we made a <em>deal</em>, didn¡¯t we?¡±

    ¡°(munch)¡­ Yep,¡± Gloria said nonchntly, ¡°And I set you up with some truly bad people to handle the job. They are mopping the floor with the Harkeen. Actually, crime scene cleanup crews are mopping up the Harkeen, but you get the idea.¡±

    Sheloran let out a squeak of despair.

    ¡°But you already knew that, didn¡¯t you?¡± Gloria asked, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have gone ahead with the arrangements if I thought you werepletely out of your head.¡±

    Sheloran just looked down and said nothing for a while.

    ¡°I¡­ I kind of knew¡­ On some level, I knew¡­ I¡­ I just didn¡¯t want to...¡±

    ¡°And with that deal, the Harkeen will <em>never</em> hurt you, that gummy bear that worked for you, that hamster chick, or anyone else ever again. You think what happened to you and yours was unique? They did that sort of shit all the time. Now, they won¡¯t. Most importantly, they won¡¯t ever do it to <em>you</em> or your people ever again. You made sure they would be safe. Fucked up world, fucked up solution. It¡¯s neither good nor bad. It just is, like most things in this fucked up universe¡­ You still owe me a pile of nukes, by the way. Those chuckies aren¡¯t cheap.¡±

    ¡°I arranged for mass murder, and I¡¯m paying for it with <em>va¡¯losh¡¯kal</em>...¡± Sheloran moaned. ¡°I <em>am</em> a bad person!¡±

    ¡°With what?¡±

    ¡°With...¡± Sheloran looked confused. ¡°With primitive thermonuclear devices.¡±

    ¡°And I used those nukes on...¡±

    Gloriaughed.

    ¡°I <em>was</em> going to use those nukes to go after someone who is <em>truly</em> bad,¡± she chuckled, ¡°But instead, I used them to teach some people a very valuable lesson¡­ and didn¡¯t even kill anybody! The point is that I¡¯m using those nukes for a very specific mission, and that mission may very well save the lives of billions, maybe even trillions. Patricia Hu <em>cannot</em> be allowed to win. If she does, it will be the end of entire worlds, maybe even yours. Is stopping her ¡®bad¡¯, even if we have to get our hands a little dirty?¡±

    Sheloran let out a strange, disturbingugh that gave Gloria goosebumps.

    <em>¡± My</em> world is under no threat from the likes of any <em>human</em>,¡± Sheloran snarled as her eyes started to swirl with colors, ¡°The only thing she will find there is¡ª Eeep! ¡°

    Sheloran squeezed her eyes shut and covered them with her hands.

    ¡°You ok?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Sheloran said, her eyes still squeezed tightly shut, ¡°I am NOT ok! What is happening to me?¡±

    ¡°Not a clue, dude,¡± Gloria said as she munched a cicada. ¡°You are one freaky freaky freak. What is the deal with you th, anyway. We thought you were just a bunch of stupid farmers.¡±

    ¡°We <em>are</em> a bunch of stupid farmers,¡± Sheloran said as she cautiously opened her eyes, ¡°Seriously! That¡¯s all we are! We just farm! That¡¯s it! We don¡¯t¡­ We don¡¯t <em>do</em> all of the stuff I¡¯m doing! It¡¯s impossible!¡±

    ¡°Apparently not. (munch)¡±

    ¡°I have absolutely no idea what¡¯s happening to me, and I¡¯m pooping terrified!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know what that¡¯s like,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°Kinda. I didn¡¯t start making super-nukes, though.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want any of this!¡± Sheloran eximed, ¡°I just wanted a <em>normal</em> life, a little house, a small garden¡­ a <em>boyfriend</em>¡­ It¡¯s not fair!¡±

    Gloriaughed again.

    ¡°Do you think <em>any</em> of us wanted this, to be what we are?¡± she smiled. ¡°Do you think She was always She, or Greg was always Greg, or Jessie¡­ well¡­ Jessie was always Jessie, and that is <em>heartbreaking</em>...¡±

    Gloria looked down.

    ¡°¡­ Do you think I was always <em>me</em>?¡± she added quietly. ¡°I was a ¡®good¡¯ person once. I really was.¡±

    ¡°You were?¡±

    ¡°You think I popped out of my momma¡¯s snatch like this?¡± Gloria smirked. ¡°I was a¡­ I was a little xen princess once. I made good grades. I was ¡®nice¡¯¡­ I was...¡±

    She leaned back against the wall and looked at the ceiling.

    ¡°Meh, never mind. That¡¯s all ancient history now.¡±

    She looked Sheloran in the eyes.

    ¡°The thing is that each of us found ourselves in a situation, and each of us made a choice, which is exactly what you have to do now, and I mean right fucking now.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°Look,¡± Gloria said, ¡°it¡¯s really not my ce to tell you your business, but you got lucky, real lucky.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel very pooping lucky.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because you are too busy feeling sorry for your little blue ass to pay attention to what¡¯s actually happening around you,¡± Gloria said as she handed Sheloran the bag, stood up, and stretched. ¡°You¡¯ve lost situational awareness, and that is <em>fatal</em>. It¡¯s been ok because you have been here and have had the luxury of being able to hide in a closet, but if you honestly believe you haven¡¯t been stupidly lucky, then <em>I¡¯m</em> not the one in need of an intervention¡­ for once.¡±

    Sheloran hopped to her feet in one fluid motion.

    <em>¡± How the poop have I been lucky?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Think about it,¡± Gloria replied calmly, ¡°what <em>should</em> have happened. What should have <em>really</em> gone down?¡±

    Sheloran looked at her with a confused expression.

    ¡°What <em>should</em> have happened is that your blue ass stayed locked up in Tartarus, getting mind-fucked by Cerberus while the Harkeen raped everybody that relied on you to death,¡± Gloria said as she smiled through a clenched jaw. ¡°Apletely unbelievable series of events prevented that. Someone up there must love you¡­ a lot... but you can¡¯t count on them saving you a second time.¡±

    Sheloran let out a quiet, horrified moan-squeak. Oh, prophet, she was right!

    ¡°So you need to figure out, <em>right fucking now,¡±</em> Gloria said calmly, ¡°Are you a ¡®good girl¡¯ who follows the rules and ys nice, or are you a ¡®bad girl¡¯ who is going to take care of business. If you are a ¡®good girl,¡¯ then get out of the game right fucking now. No more ¡®not illegal¡¯ bullshit, no more backroom whorehouses, no more bor organizing¡¯, no more¡¯ payday loans¡¯, not a goddamn thing. If you manage to get free of all of this, go and live that ¡®good girl¡¯ quiet little life you keep fucking <em>moaning</em> about.¡±

    Sheloran looked at Gloria in shock.

    ¡°Fuck, I¡¯ll even let you off the hook as far as the nukes go,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°I <em>want</em> them, but I don¡¯t need them. I¡¯ll melt Patricia¡¯s face off with or without you. There is nothing in Heaven or Hell that can stop me. I¡¯ll cut you loose, but that¡¯s only if you <em>truly</em> not only want to be a ¡®good girl¡¯ but <em>honestly</em> think you <em>can.¡±</em>

    ¡°W-what do you mean?¡± Sheloran asked with huge, terrified eyes.

    ¡°Your little whore friend, the one you live with?¡± Gloria asked.

    ¡°Her <em>name</em> is <em>Craxina!¡±</em>

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Gloria shrugged, ¡°How did you meet up with her again?¡±

    ¡°It was when I went to jail the first time,¡± Sheloran said, keenly aware that she had to say ¡°the first time.¡± ¡°She was really nice to me, and when I got out, I saw her crying on a park bench. She was broke and didn¡¯t have anywhere to go, so I just sort of took her in.¡±

    ¡°A ¡®good girl¡¯ would <em>never</em> bring home a strange prostitute,¡± Gloria smirked, ¡°Prostitutes are <em>dirty</em> and probably on drugs, you know. Too dangerous, and what would the neighbors think?¡±

    <em>¡± But she would have died if I didn¡¯t!¡±</em>

    ¡°You don¡¯t know that.¡±

    ¡°I just do, ok!¡± Sheloran eximed, ¡°The same way I know how to make guns and nukes. She almost died anyway when she went back to her hotel to get her things. If I hadn¡¯t gone over there and stopped that butthole hotel guy, he would have sold her to some very bad people¡­ I really need to take care of them,e to think.¡±

    ¡°So you just went over there and applied some foot to ass, huh?¡± Gloria smiled. ¡°A ¡®good girl¡¯ would have called the police, you know.¡±

    <em>¡± There wasn¡¯t any flushing time!¡±</em> Sheloran snapped. ¡°It was going on right then. I <em>knew</em> if I didn¡¯t move quickly, it would have been the end of her...¡±

    Sheloran shuddered.

    ¡°I <em>saw</em> it...¡±

    ¡°So you just charged in there unarmed and dragged her out?¡±

    ¡°No, I had a gun. I made it myself!¡±

    ¡°Good girls don¡¯t charge into dangerous hotels with homemade burners, either.¡±

    ¡°But I <em>had</em> to!¡±

    Gloria nodded.

    ¡°Just like you <em>had</em> to take in all of those other prostitutes?¡±

    ¡°They had nowhere else to go! It was <em>dangerous</em> for them.¡±

    ¡°Good girls don¡¯t get involved in stuff like that,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°It¡¯s what keeps them out of trouble. That¡¯s someone else¡¯s problem.¡±

    ¡°Well, <em>someone else</em> wasn¡¯t doing poop! Do you have <em>any</em> idea what¡¯s going on out there?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact,¡± Gloria replied, ¡°I do, and I <em>might</em> have crucified a few traffickers now and again myself. However, good girls don¡¯t get involved in that. They stay home and water their flowers or some shit.¡±

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t let them just suffer like that! Someone had to do something!¡±

    ¡°And because of that, you started to piss off the Harkeen,¡± Gloria replied, reaching into the bag that Sheloran was now holding. ¡°(munch) But you didn¡¯t stop there, did you? Once you got that union badge, you started actually organizing the xenos.¡±

    ¡°Those poor people didn¡¯t even know their rights!¡± Sheloran bristled. ¡°They were just getting passed from club to club, starport to starport¡­ Someone¡ª¡°

    ¡°Had to do something,¡± Gloria said,pleting her sentence. ¡°And I¡¯m pretty sure they weren¡¯t too pleased when you started kicking in doors, were they?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran smiled, ¡°But they were nothing but jerkface bullies, and I HATE bullies! Besides...¡±

    Sheloran trailed off.

    ¡°Besides what?¡± Gloria smirked, ¡°You <em>knew</em> you could take them, the same way you <em>knew</em> Craxina was going to die, the same way you know how to hotwire a nuke?¡±

    ¡°...yeah...¡± Sheloran said, looking down.

    ¡°You know what I¡¯m going to say next, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Good girls don¡¯t do that?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Gloria grinned. ¡°Good girls don¡¯t kick in the doors of unlicensed brothels, square off against dangerous pimps, and they most certainly do NOT rip the doors off of white cargo vans in the starport.¡±

    ¡°You know about that?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°Bunny is very thorough,¡± Gloria chuckled. ¡°Where did you even get an emergency ingress tool anyway?¡±

    ¡°I rented it?¡±

    Gloriaughed.

    ¡°I love it!¡± Gloriaughed, ¡°but a ¡®good girl¡¯ would be horrified! You do know you broke severalws when you did that, right? Not a very good girl thing to do.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t have time!¡± Sheloran eximed, ¡°Those people could have been loaded at any time! I <em>had</em> to do something!¡±

    ¡°Just like you had to undercut the Harkeen¡¯s loan sharking business?¡±

    ¡°They were forcing people into prostitution¡­ forcing them!¡± Sheloran squeaked with anger, ¡°It¡¯s bad enough when they force themselves, but¡­ what they were doing¡­ It was <em>wrong</em>! Somebody...¡±

    Sheloran trailed off and sighed.

    ¡°And when the Harkeen showed up?¡± Gloria asked.

    ¡°I told them to get lost!¡± Sheloran snapped, ¡°They are all just a bunch of bullies!¡±

    ¡°Bullies that burned your business to the ground, nearly killed one of your girls, and gang-raped that poor little gerbil,¡± Gloria said evenly, ¡°I hate to be the one to tell you this, but that waspletely predictable¡­ and <em>preventable.¡±</em>

    ¡°What?¡± Sheloran asked,pletely horrified.

    ¡°See, a ¡®bad girl¡¯ would known all about the Harkeen since they were so close and would have known what to expect when they were directly challenged like that. They are nothing if not predictable. A ¡®bad girl¡¯ would have either cut a deal or taken ¡®preemptive action.¡¯ Or, at the very least, they would have been prepared. A ¡®good girl¡¯ <em>ying</em> at being a bad girl, however, had her business burned to the ground, one of her people nearly killed, and, well, nevermind ¡®and.¡¯ You were in <em>way</em> over your head because you weren¡¯t <em>prepared</em> to handle your ¡®bad girl¡¯ business. Again, you got lucky. Nobody was killed. They didn¡¯t ¡®disappear¡¯ the gerbil either, something else that they have done.¡±

    Sheloran flinched and squeaked like she got hit.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been lucky entirely too many times in a row,¡± Gloria said sternly, ¡°You keep half-assing it like you are doing, and you are going to cross something worse than the Harkeen, and you know what will happen next?¡±

    Sheloran just stood there, unable to speak.

    ¡°For most ¡®good girls¡¯ ying pretend,¡± Gloria said, ¡°They woulde to a bad end, killed or worse, but people like us don¡¯t get the easy way out. <em>You</em> won¡¯t die. The monster will see to that. It will take care of you, just like my monster takes care of me. We don¡¯t die. Everyone around us, however, does. You will be the sole survivor again and again and <em>again</em>. Even when you have had enough and <em>try</em> to die, you won¡¯t be allowed to. You will juste back alone over and over again until your heart breaks.¡±

    Sheloran backed against the wall, her breathing out in ragged ¡°ts¡± through her gills.

    ¡°And that monster?¡± Gloria said as she seemed to grow twice her size, overshadowing Sheloran many times over, ¡°It will just get bigger and bigger as you, just a moment toote, turn bad over and over. Then...¡±

    Gloria¡¯s eyes zed over, turning into ice. Sheloran backed down the wall as she felt <em>millions</em> of souls screaming around her.

    ¡°Sooner orter, you will actually be ¡®bad¡¯. It will hurt too bad so you just¡­ quit¡­ and let the monster do whatever it wants¡­ but <em>you are still in there</em> bearing witness to everything that <em>you</em> do¡­¡±

    The unholy fire around Gloria faded.

    ¡°¡­ everything¡­ And it never, ever ends¡­ ever. Every day the memories y on repeat, over and over¡­ every¡­ <em>fucked up</em>¡­ thing you <em>will</em> do¡­ over and over¡­ until you finally manage to regain control of yourself just long enough to end it once and for all because the only thing left that can stop you is <em>you</em>...¡±

    All of the energy bled from Gloria, and her eyes returned to normal.

    ¡°And then you flinch¡­ Let someone talk you out of it¡­ and the monster wins again.¡±

    Sheloran gasped as she saw Gloria, at the controls of a ship lining the craft up on arge ship, smiling¡­ closing her eyes¡­

    It <em>was</em> going to happen!

    ¡°So you gotta choose,¡± Gloria said quietly, ¡°right fucking now. You decide before it is decided <em>for</em> you. If you don¡¯t¡­ You will be just like me, and you do NOT want that.¡±

    Gloria slumped against the wall.

    ¡°Keep the cicadas,¡± she muttered. ¡°And fucking make up your mind. A lot of people are counting on you, trusting you with their lives. If you aren¡¯t prepared to be <em>Sheloran</em>, they need to know before a ¡®good girl¡¯ lets them down.¡±

    Gloria¡¯s eyes zed over and turned to dead, ssy orbs.

    ¡°Decide, frog,¡± she saidpletely without emotion, ¡°You aren¡¯t the only one who <em>knows</em> things, and I <em>know</em> you don¡¯t have much time.¡±

    With that, Gloria turned and walked away.

    Sheloran copsed, buried her face in her hands, and wept.

    ***

    Uhrrbet nervously leaned against a tree next to an old camping lodge deep in what used to be a national park before Yellowstone, now deserted and unused save for the asional gene prospector.

    Half a dozen vehicles of every description pulled up, and a bunch of very nervous-looking Threen piled out, weapons drawn, looking in all directions.

    The best-dressed one of them approached.

    ¡°Everything¡¯s arranged!¡± Uhrrbet squeaked nervously. ¡°As soon as the captain receives payment, he willnd.¡±

    ¡°An¡¯ how much of dis are you keepin¡¯?¡± the threen snarled at Uhrrbet.

    ¡°Not a single credit!¡± Uhrrbet squealed. ¡°I know better than crossing the Harkeen now. I just want things to be square with us! I swear! Please, just tell the Harkeen that I helped, ok? I¡¯m not with Sheloran or any of the others! I just want all of this to be <em>over!</em>¡­ Please...¡±

    The threen looked deeply into Uhrrbet¡¯s terrified, broken eyes.

    ¡°¡­ Please...¡± Uhrrbet whimpered.

    The Threen nodded and handed her a data crystal which she inserted into her tablet.

    ¡°It went through!¡± she squeaked after an appropriate amount of time.

    ¡°Lemme talk to him!¡± the Threen snarled. ¡°I wanna talk to him again.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Uhrrbet squeaked as she handed him the tablet, flinching as he brushed her hand.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the Threen snarled, ¡°Who ¡®dis?¡±

    A tentacled xeno appeared on the screen.

    ¡°This is Captain Yveeat of the free trader <em>Fvv Kebth</em>,¡± the xeno replied, ¡°... An¡¯ who you?¡± he added with a flutter of his tentacles.

    ¡°This is Bossman Vthoon,¡± the threen snarled. ¡°The ¡®who¡¯ dat is paying you all those credits.¡±

    ¡°Wee aboard, Bossman,¡± the voice replied smoothly, ¡°I will be there in approximately twelve hours.¡±

    ¡°Dat long?!?¡±

    ¡°Do you want a stealth extraction or not?¡± the xeno replied, ¡°This is sted Terra itself. Getting released from the starport, faking a departure, and then looping back under stealth in twelve hours is actually something to be proud of. If you want a faster departure time feel free to buy a ticket at the starport, asshole. Did that trante properly, ¡®asshole¡¯?¡±

    ¡°You better be here, or you¡¯ll be sorry.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you worry your smooth little brain over it, bossman,¡± the xeno replied, ¡°Me good at flyin¡¯.¡±

    ¡°You watch your mouth!¡±

    ¡°You find another pilot. I¡¯ll dly refund your fee.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Just get here,¡± the Threen snarled and shoved the tablet at Uhrrbet.

    ¡°Ok...¡± Uhrrbet sighed with relief. ¡°That¡¯s all taken care of. They will be here in twelve hours. If you will excuse me, I will just¡ª¡°

    ¡°Oh, you are stayin¡¯ right here until they show up,¡± the Threen snarled. ¡°An if dey aren¡¯t here, we are going to skin ya¡­ after we have our fun.¡±

    Uhrrbet whimpered.

    ¡°But I did everything you wanted me to!¡± she yelped.

    ¡°We don¡¯ know that for sure,¡± the threen snarled. ¡°Besides, I got some time to kill...¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s tablet beeped three times.

    ¡°Wha?¡± the Threen snarled as Uhrrbet dove to the ground¡­

    ...at the same time as a single gunshot rang out for each Threen present.

    Uhrrbet calmly stood up and primly dusted herself off as two dozen small figures seemed to appear out of thin air.

    ¡°Nicely done,¡± Uhrrbet said as they approached.

    ¡°Same at U,¡± the chuckie¡¯s leader said, ¡°U yd dem nice an¡¯ sweet.¡± The chuckie handed Uhrrbet a data crystal.

    ¡°Ur tirty piezes,¡± it chuckled.

    ¡°Excuse me? Thirty?¡± Uhrrbet asked with both rm and anger.

    ¡°Peac siztah,¡± the chuckieughed, ¡°Itz a figur a speak, frum de gud book. Da pay fer betrayal. Itz all dere.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± Uhrrbetughed, ¡°I do apologize. I¡¯m still learning all of the idioms.¡±

    The chuckieughed with her.

    ¡°Same thing happen when I talk ta innies,¡± the chuckieughed.

    A weak groan issued from the boss Threen.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ gonna...¡± he groaned faintly.

    ¡°It wuz suppos ta be a one shot!¡± the leader yelled.

    ¡°It wuz a one shot!¡± a very young (looking) woman with a very big rifle yelled back.

    ¡°Den y iz it fukkin¡¯ breathing?¡± the leader yelled back as he drew his sidearm.

    He looked over at Uhrrbet.

    ¡°U jes set up killin or can U do da deed?¡±

    Uhrrbet smoothed her snout.

    ¡°I suppose I won¡¯t know until I try, will I?¡± she replied in a very proper ¡°grey¡± tone as she reached for the pistol.

    The Threen weakly tried to crawl towards his ster.

    Uhrrbet kicked it away.

    She lowered the barrel of the pistol towards his head as he looked up at her with an expression of helpless rage.

    ¡°Pray tell, how does it feel?¡± she asked, ¡°Being helpless?¡±

    She pulled the trigger.

    Nothing happened.

    ¡°U gotta press that red bit first!¡±

    ¡°Oh, I understand now. Thank you so very much.¡± Uhrrbet replied in a polished grey Garthra ent.

    <strong>Bang</strong>

    ¡°Respek,¡± the leader said as she returned his pistol.

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Thank you for the opportunity.¡±

    The chuckieughed.

    ¡°I liek U,¡± he chortled, ¡°U funny!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m so very pleased that you find me engaging,¡± Uhrrbet said formally with a graceful little bob.

    ¡°So,¡± the chuckie asked as his people produced long des and power saws, ¡°U got anny moar fer us?¡±

    ¡°ording to him,¡± Uhrrbet said, nodding towards the boss. ¡°this was thest of the survivors, but you know Threen. I shall leave the posts up, just in case. Did you get enough samples to simte him?¡±

    ¡°Yeh,¡± the chuckie responded, ¡°anny moar show an he ¡®vouch¡¯ frum da graeve.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Is that software avable for purchase by chance?¡±

    ¡°I dunno,¡± the chuckie grinned, ¡°U hav money?¡±

    Uhrrbet gave the chuckie a demure little smile.

    ¡°I might have a credit or two on me...¡±

 Chapter 187: Intermission: Paradise Found

    Chapter 187: Intermission: Paradise Found

    ¡°You gotta be kidding me!¡± a lean brte said as she looked at an older gentleman sitting at his desk, both wearing the utilitarian blue jumpsuits bearing a stylized Jupiter patch and embroidered with their names, the deceptively in outfits indicating employment by the single most desirable employer in the Republic, Zeus Industries.

    ¡°Afraid not, Luka,¡± the man replied. ¡°We have squatters.¡±

    ¡°Squatters?¡± Luka asked in disbelief, ¡°In Zeus Seven?¡±

    ¡°We have <em>someone</em> or <em>something</em> living in there,¡± the man replied, ¡°unless the rats have figured out how to operate pressure doors and water valves...¡±

    A holographic image of a box trap appeared.

    ¡°or build traps.¡±

    ¡°Well fuck me running,¡± Luka said in amazement.

    ¡°We also have tools, supplies, and equipment disappearing, objects moving, and mysterious power drains,¡± the grey-haired man said as images and graphs appeared floating just in front of the walls of his office.

    ¡°Do we have anything more solid than someone or something?¡± Luka asked as she examined the walls.

    ¡°Nope,¡± her boss replied. ¡°Whoever they are, they are pretty good at either avoiding or spoofing the cameras. It wouldn¡¯t be too hard. Those systems are basic models from before Yellowstone and were never intended for more than simple monitoring and process control. Station Seven was never a secure facility and was never upgraded or hardened during the wars. It was just where we got our roaches. We¡¯ve maintained it and kept it running as a ¡®nature preserve,¡¯ but that¡¯s it. We just have a few drones buzzing about keeping an eye on things, but that¡¯s just because actually going in there is kind of gross and a great way to get roaches. Remember the outbreak on twelve?¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Luka grimaced. ¡°Those bastards got <em>everywhere</em>.¡±

    ¡°So, the long and short of it is that I need you to take a team in there and find out exactly what we are dealing with. This could be anything from some weird hermit to scrappers to actual fugitives, so be careful.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell me,¡± Luka replied,¡± <em>Anyone</em> who willingly lives in the roach hotel is someone I don¡¯t want to meet. Don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ll get rid of them.¡±

    ¡°Now y nice, Luka,¡± her boss said sternly, ¡°We don¡¯t <em>know</em> they are a threat. Don¡¯t go knocking skulls without at least saying hello first. We don¡¯t need to escte something that we don¡¯t need to escte. Just investigate and, if possible, make a report and seek guidance before proceeding further.¡±

    ¡°Be nice to the roach fuckers,¡± Luka smirked, ¡°got it.¡±

    ***

    Teeva awoke to something tickling her cheek. With an idle flick of her long sticky tongue, she nabbed it and pulled it into her mouth.

    She chewed and smiled.

    <em>Delicious!</em>

    ¡°You finally awake?¡± a voice asked in the wonderfully absolute darkness of their new home.

    ¡°I guess so,¡± she said as she rolled over.

    She, moving on all fours, crawled over to herpanion, nabbing a few more hyper roaches as she did so.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to ruin your breakfast,¡± Kvaaan chuckled as he nuzzled her.

    ¡°Mmm!¡± she said as she wiggled her long snout. ¡°It smells delicious! What is it?¡±

    ¡°What do you think?¡± Kvaaanughed.

    ¡°Is it roaches?¡± Teeva asked excitedly.

    ¡°Aww,¡± Kvaaan chuckled as he turned the skewers on the amazing little cooky thing they found in some sort of strange kitchen, ¡°you guessed. It was supposed to be a surprise!¡±

    They both giggled.

    ¡°The battery is getting low,¡± he said as he handed her a skewer.

    ¡°I was wondering when it would do that,¡± Teeva said as she pulled a roasted hyper-roach off the skewer with her tongue. ¡°That thing is just unnatural.¡±

    She munched happily, savoring the juices.

    ¡°I wonder what a ¡®Hitachi Supercapacitor¡¯ is,¡± she said as she pulled off a second roach.

    ¡°Probably some Terran secret technology or something,¡± Kvaaan shrugged as he fiddled with the knobs on the little cook box they found yesterday.

    ¡°Can you even imagine what this thing would fetch back home?¡± Teeva mused. ¡°I bet we could buy our freedom, maybe even freedom for our entire families!¡±

    ¡°If they didn¡¯t just lock us up and take the thing,¡± Kvaaan replied. ¡°That¡¯s what they would actually do, you know.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Teeva replied sadly.

    She ate another roach and then crawled over to examine the marvelous little cooker.

    ¡°You figure that thing out yet?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Kvaaan said, ¡°we know it¡¯s some sort of cooking device. This knob controls the heat, and the numbers on the dial seem to correspond to how hot it gets. It¡¯s very urate, and the heat is so even! It¡¯s wonderful!¡±

    ¡°What about the other knob?¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± Kvaaan eximed, ¡°This is really amazing! Watch.¡±

    He pulled out a shorter metal wire on the amazing cook box and turned the dial.

    The wire started to magically rotate!

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Teeva eximed.

    ¡°It turns the food all by itself!¡± Kvaaan said happily.

    ¡°This little magic box is amazing!¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s not all!¡± Kvaaan eximed. ¡°The metal bit will rotate even inside a pot!¡±

    He removed the wire, put a beaker on the mysterious device, and put the wire inside.

    It resumed spinning!

    ¡°Wow!¡±

    ¡°And it will spin <em>really</em> fast, too!¡± he eximed.

    ¡°So what do all of the other buttons do?¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t figured all of them out yet,¡± Kvaaan replied, ¡°but if you turn the temperature knob all the way down and then press it in¡­ <em>you can keep turning it down!</em>¡±

    He did so and giggled.

    ¡°What does that do?¡± Teeva asked.

    ¡°Just watch!¡±

    Within a minute, frost started to appear on the surface.

    ¡°It gets <em>cold?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t believe it either!¡± Kvaaan giggled.

    ¡°How could the Terrans abandon something like this?¡± Teeva asked in utter bewilderment. ¡°This thing must be worth a fortune! I heard they were wealthy beyond measure, but to discard a treasure of this magnitude? It defies all wisdom!¡±

    ¡°And just how many of these were in that single room?¡±

    ¡°We should get them all!¡± Teeva eximed.

    ¡°Oh, we will,¡± Kvaaan smiled as he kissed her, ¡°and just think what other treasures must be hidden here!¡±

    ¡°But why did they abandon it all?¡±

    ¡°Who knows,¡± Kvaaan shrugged. ¡°They are so different from us that there is no way to understand them. For example, they built this paradise, and it just sits vacant, practically unused, a bounty beyondprehension just¡­ sitting here...¡±

    ¡°It won¡¯t be vacant for long,¡± Teeva giggled as she ced Kvaaan¡¯s hand on her belly.

    He smiled with true contentment, wishing this couldst forever.

    It never did for his kind, but he wished with all of his heart that it would.

    ***

    ¡°Alright, listen up,¡± Luka said to five other men and women, all d in sealedbat armor, ¡°Everyone knows the mission, but I want to make this clear. We have unknown individuals somewhere in this station. Numbers unknown, identity unknown. Our mission is to locate and assess, but we have no idea what we will run into. Our <em>first</em> priority is for all of us to go home safe.¡±

    She readied her Zeus AKSS520, its resemnce to the AK series barely recognizable.

    ¡°Fix stunners.¡±

    Everyone pulled an under-barrel attachment from a recess in their armor and slid it home with a click.

    ¡°Hopefully, this will just be a recon, maybe a meet and greet,¡± she said, ¡°But we don¡¯t know what it will be. Marta, Clive, Kamal, and Nami, you are our designated stunners. Set your trigger. Timmy, you and I will be the hitters, standard armor piercing dual purpose.¡±

    She and Timmy chambered a round.

    ¡°Once inside, we will deploy sensor drone pattern gamma with our sniffers under AI control.¡±

    She pressed the airlock control panel, and the doors started to cycle.

    ¡°Anything other than a rat, cat, or roach is our target,¡± she said, ¡°Once again, this is a recon mission. We are not to engage unless we have no choice or receive direct orders.¡±

    The group entered the airlock.

    ¡°Everyone clear on the mission and their roles?¡±

    ¡°Aye,¡± the group said in unison.

    ¡°Switch to subvocal,¡± Luka said.

    [Luka: Com check]

    [Marta: Check.]

    [Clive: Check.]

    [Kamal: Check.]

    [Nami: Check.]

    [Timmy: Check.]

    [Luka: Opening airlock. Establish perimeter.]

    The airlock opened, and the group sprinted into the entryway, quickly securing it.

    [Luka: Sensor pattern gamma. Release sniffers.]

    A series of armored nodules on their armor detached and rapidly flew out in all directions.

    [Luka: Engage optical cloaking. Sonic dampeners on. Proceed to level twenty, main concourse.]

    The group disappeared and moved with silent, practiced precision, only the faintest shimmers revealing their presence.

    ***

    Teeva and Kvaaan cuddled in theforting darkness.

    There was a quiet little squeak.

    ¡°Well, hello there,¡± Teeva cooed. ¡°As a matter of fact, I <em>do</em> have something for you.¡±

    She pulled a roasted hyper-roach off a skewer and tossed it towards the rat.

    ¡°It¡¯s so cute that it loves your cooking!¡± she giggled as she snootled Kvaaan.

    ¡°My culinary mastery transcends race.¡± he chuckled as he snootled her back.

    He sighed.

    ¡°I guess we need to go get some water and check the traps, huh?¡±

    ¡°I suppose,¡± Teeva replied, not wanting to end their embrace.

    They both picked up an empty poly canister with their tails and, together, left their little nest.

    ***

    [Marta: Level twenty section A surveyplete. No contact.]

    [Luka: The box trap is gone as well. Sniffers picked up something abnormal, but it¡¯s stale. Looks like they went further in. Proceed to section B promenade.]

    ***

    Teevapped at some of the water from the spigot in the wall.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe how <em>good</em> it is!¡± she eximed as they filled their canisters.

    ¡°Yeah, I can¡¯t get over how pure the water is here,¡± Kvaaan replied. ¡°Wait! I hear something!¡±

    Abandoning the canisters, they ducked into the shadows as a dim light became visible.

    <em>¡± Sounds like one of those food wardens,¡±</em> Kvaaan whispered as heid his snout on the deck tes.

    Momentster, a familiar blue-white light became visible as a cargo drone flew past.

    They clung to the shadows behind some strange arcane device for several minutes.

    ¡°It should be gone now,¡± Kvaaan said quietly. ¡°That should be it for the day.¡±

    Teeva started to quietly weep.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± he asked.

    ¡°That warden,¡± she wept, ¡°It¡¯s carrying enough food to feed several families, and they are just¡­ dumping it¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t understand.¡±

    ¡°I think¡­ I think they are feeding the roaches,¡± Kvaaan said quietly,forting her. ¡°The piles are always covered with them.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ <em>why?</em>¡± Teeva implored. ¡°How many of their people could they feed with this bounty, and they are just¡­ just¡­ throwing it to the roaches.¡±

    ¡°And to us,¡± Kvaaan said gently, ¡°We shouldn¡¯tin.¡±

    ¡°Do¡­ Do they have <em>so much</em> that they can cast such wealth into the darkness? This ce is <em>huge</em>. How much do you think they¡­¡±

    ¡°Try not to think about it,¡± Kvaaan said as he gently stroked her with his snout. ¡°Think about how full the traps will be. I bet they are overflowing. Let¡¯s go check. That will cheer you up!¡±

    He was right on both counts.

    ¡°Look at how full they are!¡± Teeva said happily as she lifted a wire cage packed full with hyper roaches.

    ¡°Told ya,¡± he smiled. ¡°We have enough tost for <em>days</em>. Let¡¯s just take them with us. We¡¯ve left them in the same ce for too long.¡±

    ¡°Ok.¡±

    ***

    [Luka: They aren¡¯t here either. Guys, I think this is going to be a long one.]

    [Kamal: Are they even still on this level?]

    [Luka: This is where the most recent activity is. Based on analysis of the trap patterns and where they are drawing water, power, and gathering rice, they are on this level somewhere. Let¡¯s take thirty, have lunch.]

    ***

    Teeva and Kvaaan cautiously crept into the ¡°kitchen.¡±

    ¡°Look at all of the cookers!¡± she eximed with delight.

    ¡°And we found another of those battery things!¡± Kvaaan replied. ¡°With two of them, we won¡¯t need to recharge for a long time! That means we can go further away to do it!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s very good,¡± Kvaaan replied. ¡°Power is very valuable and the easiest thing to measure. The overlords might miss some water or a little food but could notice even a little power being taken where it shouldn¡¯t be. If the overlords could see it, the humans certainly can. That¡¯s why I went so far to recharge the battery.¡±

    ¡°My dashing rogue!¡± Teeva giggled as she snootled his nk. ¡°Thank the warm sweet earth that I had a weakness for bad boys!¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s grab as much as we can,¡± Kvaaan said, ¡°We¡¯vee here far too often, and a treasure trove like this simply has to be watched.¡±

    They filled the makeshift mesh bags they had fashioned from wire they discovered in one of the machinery spaces.

    ***

    [Luka: We have a trail. Sniffer six has a warm one species undetermined. Submitting analysis. Keep sharp, people. We are on them. Estimated number of contacts: two. Adjust cloaking to one hundred percent.]

    Her team moved swiftly along the corridor, their drones rapidly moving in a search pattern, checking each intersecting passage.

    Even with that, they took no chances, verifying each one clear as they moved, now without even a shimmer.

    About ten minutester, the group came to an abrupt halt as sensor fifteen showed two strange quadrupeds ambling down the corridor, each carrying arge bag on their backs.

    [Luka: Fucking looters. No weapons detected. Distance to contact three hundred meters. Species unknown. Sending scans to HQ now. Maintain distance to contact at two hundred meters.]

    [Nami: They are stealingb hot tes and ssware? The Hitachi I can understand. Those antique supercaps are worth some serious cash, but ssware?]

    [Kamal: Maybe they are running some sort of illegalb in here. This would be the perfect ce.]

    [Luka: You have a point. If these guys are running ab, there could be more of them, or they might be packing something the drones missed. Kamal, Nami, you are now hitters.]

    Kamal and Nami switched their triggers.

    [Luka: HQ, do you have an ID on these xenos?]

    [HQ: Yes we do, Luka. We just didn¡¯t feel like telling you. What do you think, girl?]

    [Luka: How long does a database search take anyhow? Stop ying Asteria and get back to work :D]

    [HQ: Might as well, that dragon princess quest is fucking impossible!]

    [Luka: You still haven¡¯t beaten it?]

    [HQ: The stupid bitch keeps getting killed! It¡¯s like she¡¯s <em>trying</em> to die or something! Hang on, we have that ID. It wasn¡¯t in our system. We had to query the Empire. They are Delbath, poor bastards. They are subjects of the Kilven Dominion.]

    [Nami: The Kilven? They are a long way from home. What do we know about them?]

    [HQ: They are a subterranean species from a with extensive limestone cavern systems, which theyter expanded as their technology improved. Alert: They have impressive active and passive echolocation as well as incredible hearing. Your sonic dampeners will not be effective. They will still work, but you will appear as ¡°holes¡± to them. Be careful about any noise, and keep at over 600 meters on solid metal.]

    [Luka: Aggression level? Natural weaponry?]

    [HQ: Aggression level: Passive. They have no natural weaponry but are very strong with very ¡°sticky¡± pads. You have no threat from impact, but you don¡¯t want one to grapple you. Activate joint protection.]

    [HQ: Command from the boss: Apprehend looters for questioning. Species vulnerability: Unlike many subterranean species that have eyes, they are very sensitive to light. Bright light will likely disorientate them, and a strobe set at 30 kHz will likely cause seizures.]

    [Luka: Thanks, HQ. Engaging target.]

    ***

    Kvaaan and Teeva ambled down the hallway.

    ¡°We have so many of those cookers!¡± Teeva enthused, ¡°And I just love these round vases!¡±

    ¡°Yes, but how are we going to keep them upright?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll weave a little someth¡ª¡°

    They both suddenly fell silent as six small hexagonal¡­ <em>things</em> flew down the hall with an almost inaudible buzz.

    In less than a second, they were surrounded.

    Teeva screamed as they were suddenly bathed in a hellish light.

    ¡°The overlords!¡± she howled, ¡°They found us!¡±

    ¡°This is Zeus Industries Security, Special Operations Division,¡± Luka¡¯s voice suddenly announced from all directions, utterly confusing them. ¡°You are in possession of illegally obtained Zeus Industries property! Lay down all stolen property and any weapons you may have upon you, step forward twenty meters andy prone with your limbs fully extended to the best of your ability. We mean you no harm, but we are armed, will protect ourselves, and will use any and all force necessary to detain you. Again, you will not be harmed in any way if youply. We do not wish to harm you. Please do not make us do so.¡±

    ¡°What do we do?¡± Teeva howled as she covered her eyes with her hands.

    ¡°The humans have found us,¡± Kvaaan said with despair. ¡°They are much more powerful than the overlords. We do what they say, Teeva.¡±

    They carefully set down their treasures.

    ¡°Oh great overlords,¡± Kvaaan said, prostrating himself, ¡°We wish to obey your righteousmands, but we know not what a meter is. Please forgive our foolish ignorance.¡±

    ¡°Just start walking slowly,¡± Lukamanded as the terrifying hellish light dimmed to a faint glow. ¡°I will tell you when to stop.¡±

    ¡°We rejoice at your mercy which we do not deserve,¡± Kvaaan called out, ¡°All praise to the mighty humans, exalted be their name.¡±

    They both slowly walked forward, their snouts touching until Luka told them to stop.

    ***

    Teeva and Kvaaany on the floor, their snouts gently touching.

    ¡°It was¡­ <em>wonderful</em>,¡± Teeva sighed. ¡°I knew it wouldn¡¯tst forever¡­ but I had <em>hoped</em>...¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Kvaaan sighed, ¡°It was a foolish dream, but one worth dreaming, my love.¡±

    ¡°What do you think they will do to us?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Kvaaan replied, ¡°The humans are powerful and fearsome beyond measure.¡±

    ¡°At least¡­¡± Teeva said with a little smile, ¡°We were <em>free</em>, just for a little while...¡±

    Kvaaan smiled sadly.

    ¡°It was worth it,¡± he smiled, ¡°These days with you¡­ It¡¯s worth anything they do to me.¡±

    Theyy together, gently stroking each other with their snouts in silence, savoring each second they had left.

    It was only a few minutes before an ominous sound could be hearding ever closer, causing the very floor beneath them to vibrate.

    A glowing light appeared ahead of them, drawing ever closer.

    Soon they could make out six humans, their surfaces hard and unyielding, holding their fearsome rifles.

    Behind them was one of their floating wardens, muchrger than any they had seen before.

    It wasn¡¯t long before the terrifying group reached them.

    ¡°Don¡¯t move,¡± Luka said firmly as they were surrounded, and the strange flying thing settled to the ground, its front opening revealing arge empty space.

    It was a flying cage!

    ¡°One at a time,¡± Luka said as the group held their weapons at patrol ready, ¡°enter the vehicle.¡±

    Reluctantly they separated their snouts.

    Kvaaan moved first. Once he was inside, Teeva followed.

    ¡°We are going to switch off the lights for yourfort,¡± Luka said as the doors closed, ¡°But sensors are still active, and we will be able to see what you are up to. Don¡¯t do anything regrettable.¡±

    Once the doors were securely closed, the team climbed onto the exterior of the hall truck and attached themselves to the sides.

    The vehicle started to elerate as it moved down the wide corridor.

    ***

    A couple of hourster, a <em>very</em> confused Teeva and Kvaaan found themselves in a darkened room. They hadn¡¯t been beaten or shocked with prods or anything.

    They were just shown to spacious andfortable cell, given sheets to cover themselves with once it was clear that while they were happily naked in each other¡¯spany, they clearly felt exposed once caught, offered water and food, and simply told to wait.

    ¡°I just wish they would get it over with,¡± Teeva whispered as they hid under their sheets together. ¡°What do you think is going to happen to us?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Kvaaan whispered back. ¡°They are simply beyond my understanding.¡±

    There was a beep, and a kind-sounding voice said, ¡°I¡¯ming in.¡±

    The door opened and a thin human man with white hair, wearing a simple blue jumpsuit, like the ones that they used to wear, walked in, followed by two humans in their hard shells.

    The human in the jumpsuit sat at a small table built into the wall.

    ¡°I understand that you two were caught in Zeus Seven¡­ looting hot tes and beakers?¡±

    ¡°Please forgive our transgressions, mighty one,¡± Kvaaan whimpered as he extended his head from under the sheet. ¡°The sin was mine alone. Teeva is meless, abducted by me against her will, stolen from her rightful masters, another sin for which I confess and await your righteous judgment.¡±

    ¡°Mighty one,¡± the old man chuckled. ¡°My name is ¡®Tak¡¯. That is what you can call me.¡±

    ¡°But, exalted one I¡ª¡°

    ¡°Tak,¡± the old man said firmly. ¡°You will call me Tak, and that is final, understand.¡±

    ¡°Y-yes¡­ Tak.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t <em>stand</em> all the rest of that nonsense,¡± the old man smiled. ¡°It gets really old really quick. First of all, there is no ¡®righteous judgment¡¯ you need to be worried about. We aren¡¯t the overlords, and in the Republic, you are NOT a ve. As of now, and as long as you remain in the Republic, you are free, and the entire full might of both the Republic <em>and</em> Zeus Industries will ensure that. The Dominion has no power here. In fact, I would like for them to try and test that so very, very much.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m free?¡±

    ¡°Yes, you are,¡± Tak replied, ¡°very is not recognized here. Nobody has ownership of you, your kidnap victim, or the children she carries.¡±

    Teeva started to make a weird little snorting noise as she began to weep. Her children were free!

    ¡°Now, knowing that you are free both from your bonds and from any reprisals,¡± Tak said pleasantly, ¡°Were you sent here by your overlords to steal equipment, materials, or technology?¡±

    ¡°N-no, my lord.¡±

    Tak sighed. He hated titles, but further insistence was pointless.

    ¡°That¡¯s a shame,¡± Tak smiled.

    ¡°Exalted one?¡±

    ¡°Nevermind,¡± Tak replied, ¡°Now the huge question that everyone is wondering¡­ Why were you stealingboratory hot tes and ssware?¡±

    ¡°The cookers, Great One?¡±

    ¡°Oh, <em>please</em> don¡¯t tell me you were using that stuff to prepare food!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Exalted One! Please forgive us!¡±

    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re forgiven,¡± Tak said with a horrified look on his face, ¡°But you should NOT use those hot tes for cooking food or that ssware to prepare it in! God only knows what that stuff was used for!¡±

    He pulled out amunicator.

    ¡°We need a full med workup and tox screen on our guests right now! It¡¯s an emergency! One of them is pregnant!¡±

    He turned to Kvaaan.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. We¡¯ll get you checked out and fixed up right away!¡±

    He smiled at the pair.

    ¡°So, what brought you to Zeus Seven?¡± he asked.

    ¡°I found out that Teeva was with child,¡± he said quietly, ¡°It was an ident. We didn¡¯t mean for it to happen. It just¡­ did...¡±

    ¡°These things do happen from time to time,¡± Tak said gently, ¡°even to us.¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t have permission, Great One,¡± Kvaaan said sadly, ¡°The punishment for that is¡­ severe¡­ both in our culture and under the righteous and justws of our benevolent overlords, forever may they reign.¡±

    ¡°What would have happened?¡± Tak said, preparing to get angry.

    ¡°I would have been sent to the death mines,¡± Kvaaan said quietly, ¡°and Teeva, she would have her children taken away as soon as they no longer need her for sustenance, and she would be married off as a lesser woman or if nobody would take her, sent to the mine herself where¡­ where¡­ It would be bad, Mighty One.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Tak said icily.

    ¡°The penalty for trying to escape the kind benevolence of our kind overlords was just ritual execution,¡± Kvaaan said, ¡°So we decided that if we must die, we would do so together.¡±

    Tak nodded approvingly.

    ¡°We worked near a starport, I fixed and made things, and Teeva worked on an overlord¡¯s estate. I also¡­ profited from sin.¡±

    ¡°Now that sounds interesting.¡±

    ¡°I made things and fixed things that people shouldn¡¯t have,¡± Kvaaan said. ¡°I also could obtain things that people should not have. I recently was able to acquire was sphemous books, movies, games¡­ Anything one¡¯s heart could possibly desire from the Republic. That is how I met Captain Rob.¡±

    ¡°And he got you two out?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Great One,¡± Kvaaan said. ¡°We pledged ourselves and our children and our children¡¯s children to his service if he would save us. The Great Captain Rob said not to worry about it as long as I could¡­ ¡®hook him up¡¯?¡­ with someone to rece me, which I was able to do. He then, at great risk to himself, stole us from our rightful masters and spirited us away.¡±

    ¡°I like him already.¡±

    ¡°He is a great man,¡± Kvaaan said, ¡°I am honored to meet such a noble, courageous, and generous soul. He gave us passage and shared his food without asking for anything in return. He said that I had made him plenty of cash already.¡±

    ¡°So why did youe <em>here</em>, to Jupiter, and especially why the Hell did you go to Zeus Seven?¡±

    Kvaaan sighed happily.

    ¡°On his magnificent vessel, which he actually owns, can you believe it, Great One, a man so wealthy that he owns a starship?¡±

    Tak smiled.

    ¡°Truly magnificent,¡± he agreed.

    ¡°On his grand flying pce,¡± Kvaaan sighed happily, ¡°The noble and mighty Captain Rob discovered hyper-roaches on board. They smelled so enticing that I couldn¡¯t help but sample one. They are <em>delicious</em>!¡±

    ¡°I think I see where this is going,¡± Tak smiled.

    ¡°The Great Captain Rob said that we could have as many of them as we wished! We delighted in them until we could find no more.¡±

    ¡°You <em>ate</em> a hyper-roach infestation?¡±

    ¡°We apologized profusely for our greed, but Captain Rob said that he was so wealthy that a few snacks meant nothing to him.¡±

    Takughed.

    ¡°He also said that if we loved them so much, he knew of a magical paradise where the creatures were so great in number that we would never be able to eat them all and said that he would take us there¡­ and he did!¡±

    ¡°The Great Captain Rob <em>should</em> have taken you to Zeus One and had you go through customs. I might have to have a little chat with him about that.¡±

    ¡°He said the same, Mighty One,¡± Kvaaan replied, ¡°but we were terrified and begged him not to turn us in for fear of being returned to our owners. He said that it would ¡®probably work out¡¯ and delivered us to that wonderful ce.¡±

    ¡°Well, he was right,¡± Tak shrugged, ¡°It did work out after all.¡±

    ¡°We will never forget how wonderful it was there, even if it was only for a short time, my lord.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Tak replied, ¡°We will get you back there as soon as possible.¡±

    ¡°You will?!?¡± Kvaaan snorttootled, ¡°I¡­ I mean, thank you, Great and Mighty¡ª¡°

    ¡°On ONE condition,¡± Tak said, cutting him off.

    ¡°Anything, oh Great One!¡±

    ¡°Call me TAK!¡± he said with no small measure of annoyance, ¡°Just fucking Tak. That is the ONLY thing I demand. That¡¯s IT! Tak! My fucking name is Tak!¡±

    ¡°Yes, oh mighty Tak!¡±

    ¡°God fucking dammit!¡± Tak yelled, ¡°Just Tak! Nothing else before or after it. Got it?¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ Tak.¡±

    ¡°There,¡± Tak said with a smile, ¡°That wasn¡¯t so hard, was it? Now you can stay on Zeus Seven as long as you wish, you, your kids, and any other of your species that just happens to show up for some unknown reason. The ce is huge. Before that happens, we need to make sure you didn¡¯t poison yourselves eating off ofb equipment, give you both a checkup, make sure that a diet of Jovian rice and roaches is sufficient for your physiology, give you a little bit of training on what is safe in there and what will kill you dead, and get you some proper cookware for fuck¡¯s sake!¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I...¡± Kvaaan stammered.

    ¡°Since you no longer have to hide,¡± Tak said with a smile, ¡°we do have some areas that we have rendered safe...ish, and I would, until you are fully trained, ask that you remain in those areas, but there are plenty of roaches, clean water, and rice. They are also closer to the dock, so it will be convenient for all of us. You have kids on the way, and they will need pre and post natal care.¡±

    ¡°Why, Tak,¡± Kvaaan asked, ¡°Why would you do all of this?¡±

    ¡°Why not? It is my station, after all.¡±

    ¡°Your¡­ your...¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Tak replied, ¡°I own all of this. I can do whatever I want, and I want you to stay there. Besides, I think you will be very useful in time.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I will?¡±

    Tak smiled.

    ¡°You can move safely in absolute darkness and have at least some technical ability and a bit of, shall we say¡­ spirit. That station was abandoned very quickly in the end and has never been salvaged properly. I¡¯ve always meant to do it, but there has always been something else more pressing going on, or simply too understaffed. Those Hitachi micro welders you dredged up? Now those are worth retrieving and decontaminating. So are a lot of other things. Bring those things to me, and I will make it worth your while. The ce also needs some permanent staff. This mighte as a shock to you, but a full time job there is NOT something humans want. Zeus Seven could use not only you but probably a few more of you.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t understand,¡± Kvaaan said, ¡°you would do all of this for me?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m very sessful,¡± Tak replied, ¡°Do you know how I got that way?¡±

    ¡°No, oh grea¡­ I mean no, Tak.¡±

    ¡°When I see something promising, I take advantage of it, and I think you are very promising where Zeus Seven is concerned. I will benefit from this far more than you, trust me.¡±

    Tak got up.

    ¡°Now I¡¯m sure you are both pretty exhausted,¡± he said. ¡°So I¡¯m going to give you some space. Once the doctors have made sure you haven¡¯t licked the wrong beaker, we¡¯ll send you back to your new home, show you the safe zone, and work out the rest as time permits.¡±

    ¡°Thank you¡­ Tak.¡±

    ¡°Wait!¡± a voice called out from underneath the sheet.

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°I have to know,¡± Teeva said, still hiding. ¡°Why did you leave such treasures in that ce?¡±

    ¡°Because it was allpletely infested with roach eggs,¡± Tak chuckled, ¡°Back then, we didn¡¯t quite know how to deal with them, and they were wrecking entire ships and stations. Your favorite treat is one of the worst pests there is! We couldn¡¯t risk taking anything out of that damned ce. So we decided to just shut the doors and deal with itter¡­ over a hundred years ago¡­ Never got around to it.¡±

    ¡°If they are such a pest,¡± Teeva asked. ¡°Then why do you give up so much of your wealth feeding them?¡±

    ¡°For one thing,¡± Tak smiled, ¡°Jovian rice is not expensive. However, the most important reason is that I always repay my debts, and I owe those little monsters everything.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡± Teeva asked, ¡°How do you owe a pest ¡®everything¡¯?¡±

    Tak sighed and sat back down.

    He turned to one of the guards he long ago gave up trying to run off.

    ¡°Could one of you get me some coffee?¡± he said with a smile, ¡°This is going to take a while.¡±

    He turned to his two new residents.

    ¡°Getfortable,¡± he smiled sadly as a doctor carrying a veryrge scanner rushed into the room, ¡°I¡¯m about to tell you a little story.¡±

    He sighed.

    ¡°Have you two ever heard about the Sol Wars?¡±

 Chapter 188: The B Team, a Side Character Extravaganza

    Chapter 188: The B Team, a Side Character Extravaganza

    "Bye!¡­ Bye!!!" Jeruzz eximed happily down the hallway, waving his tail rapidly as Gavin quietly facepalmed.

    "This is entirely your fault, you know," his foreman chuckled.

    "I know," Gavin replied with a rueful smile.

    "See you tomorrow!!!" Jeruzz called out, "¡­ Bye!!!"

    He slithered happily into the office.

    "Ssshe wass ssso niceth!" he eximed, his jaw hanging open slightly in his equivalent of a smile.

    His jaw shut as he looked at the expressions of the people in the office.

    "¡­ Whath?" he asked as his eyes widened, "Did I do ssomething bad?"

    "Jeruzz..." Gavin said carefully.

    "Am I in trouble?!?" Jeruzz wailed in agonized confusion." <em>Whath did I do now?!?"</em>

    "Jeruzz!" Gavin said a bit more forcefully, "You are definitely NOT in trouble."

    "I''m noth?" he asked, "Then why are you all looking at me like thath? Thath the ¡®You messsth up.¡¯ look!¡±

    "I <em>need</em> to make this very, <em>very</em> clear." Gavin said carefully, "You are NOT in trouble, and I am NOT reprimanding you, nor will you experience any reprisal of ANY sort."

    "Oh no!" Jeruzz wailed, "You are thalking all funny! Thath meansss thath I REALLY messedth up!¡­ <em>WHATH DID I DOOOO?!?"</em>

    "You didn''t mess up, Jeruzz," Gavin smiled as the room all chuckled despite itself. (It was impossible to stay mad at the danger noodle.) "I did. I made the mistake of not <em>clearly</em> defining my expectations¡­ again..."

    Gavin looked at the tablet in his hands and winced.

    "When I told you to ''help'' the nicedy from during her visit," Gavin said, trying not to burst intoughter, "I meant to unlock doors, fetch records, let me know if she needed anything specific¡­ maybe get her a coffee or some lunch if she wanted¡­ I did <em>not</em> mean ''help'' as help find extra things to <em>gig us on!"</em>

    "¡­ but you sssaid helpth her..." Jeruzz said in a small voice. "Oh no! Am I going to get¡ª"

    Gavin snatched a spray bottle off his desk and pulled the lever, sending a harmless jet of water at Jeruzz.

    "Bad Jeruzz!" Gavin shouted, "Bad! You are NOT getting fired! If we were going to fire you over some stupid bullshit, we would have done it before now, dummy! In fact, this time, we couldn''t if we wanted to! You''re a fucking whistleblower now, asshole!" heughed.

    "A whsthleblower?"

    "A tattle tale," the barrel-chested woman snickered. "You told on us," she grinned.

    "Oh no!" Jeruzz wailed, "I''m sorry! I didn''t mean to! Peeeese don''th be mad ath meeeeee!"

    "We aren''t mad," Gavin chuckled, "and we still like you, but ''peeeeese'' stop giving that bitch <em>more</em> ammunition."

    "Don''t worry too much about it. Littlegull is a fucking<em> beast,"</em> the foreman snickered. "You probably didn''t tell her anything she wouldn''t have found out anyway. We have actually done pretty good so far."

    "That''s because we run a pretty tight ship," Gavin replied. "But tomorrow, she''s going into the new workshops."

    His expression turned serious.

    "Tom, Linda," he said to the pair, "Let''s head over there and make sure everything is <em>perfect."</em>

    "But it isn''t, and you know it," Linda replied. "It''s all drop cords and duct tape over there."

    "And the power ''regtors'' are just homebrew ''electromaic breakers''," the foreman added, "It''s like the second millennium in there."

    "And we had to make them ourselves," Linda added. "She''s going to take one look in one of those panels, and it''s all over. We might as well start ripping it all out now and send everyone home."

    "If she wanted to shut us down," Gavin said calmly, "She would have headed there first. I would have. I also certainly wouldn''t have turned this into a two day inspection, either. She''s been known to spend <em>days</em> on-site when blood is in the water. She''s giving us time to get our shit in order. We are going to test every one of those breakers with a real load, again, log the results, again, scan the drop cords for any degradation, again, make sure they are routed and secured properly, again¡­ and for God''s sake, pull out any multiple outlet strips those dingleberries hooked up behind our backs¡­ <em>again.</em> Oh! Let''s take the powercell chargers out of there, bring them into the main building, and <em>hardwire</em> them in. They are just going to have to live with the longer trip. She might still shut it down, but let''s make sure no fines are lurking in that ce we don''t know about."

    He reached for his hat and headed for the door.

    "Jeruzz!" he said as he turned to the nervously fidgeting creature.

    "Yesss?"

    "Get to your desk and start going through emails and online orders. I need you to pull up every single time we have tried to buy the right equipment and every single wait list we are on. Also, pull up all that shit you found concerning temporary and field expedient electric wiring. When she pitches a bitch tomorrow I want to be able to shove a tablet right into her face."

    "Yes, ssssir!" Jeruzz, "I won''th leth you down!"

    "You know what," Gavin smiled, "I have absolutely no doubt about that."

    After they left, Jeruzz hummed happily to himself as he wiggled the mouse with his tail, industriously going through pages of orders and emails.

    He wasn''t going to let them down¡­

    ...and he was getting pretty good at this!

    A few minutester, he slithered down off the really nice perch his friends had made for him and slithered over to the water cooler.

    Using his tail, he took his cup, filled it, and raised it to his lips, spilling only a little of it this time.

    As it sshed onto the "jumpsock" they hade up with to protect him out on the shop floor, he realized that he still had Ms. Littlegull''s nifty little penlight/inspection camera in his top side pocket.

    <em>Oh, that''s right!</em> he realized. She had asked him to hold it for her while she wrote something down just before they went to the office at the end of the day.

    She must have forgotten.

    He scribbled down a note on a post-it with his tail (He was getting really good with his tail!), reminding him to give it back to her.

    ***

    A convenient distance away, Tabitha Littlegull, veteran Republic Department of Labor investigator, lounged in her grav car and munched on a cold grilled spammite, tomatoelle, and kindalettuce sandwich (they didn''t get wilty, soggy, or stale¡­ for days if necessary) as she watched Jeruzz pen that very same note on her car''s disy console.

    She smiled as she reached for her Skysmack Instaice Chocacaffiene Ephedrast (now with genuine artificial coffee vor crystals!).

    They were good guys.

    She liked them. They ran a little fast and loose and were a bit "sloppy" where certain things were concerned, but nothing to lose sleep over.

    They had even already repaired the "broken" safety interlock that allowed Jeruzz to open that ess door in the first ce. She even suspected it was out of actual contrition instead of concern over her appearance.

    That Gavin guy actually looked a bit nauseous and not out of concern for his wallet. She could tell that the incident had really shaken him.

    Of course, the final bit of evidence was how they treated the snake after she left. Many ces would have turned him into a pair of boots for what he did.

    If they had done that, they would have gone <em>down</em>. She would be on the way back right now to eat them alive.

    She smiled. It was nice to be reminded that not everyone was a piece of shit.

    She punched in the address of her hotel, and her grav-car flew off.

    As she enjoyed her dinner, she started researching maic circuit breakers and regtions concerning temporary and field expedient electrical regtions. She was NOT going to be caught off guard tomorrow.

    This was going to be fun, and she was looking forward to seeing what these gunrunners woulde up with.

    She sipped her "coffee" and sighed.

    Now she had to make the hard decision, the one she had been avoiding.

    Was that entirely too likable little snek simply too stupid to survive in that work environment or not? There was "somewhat undertrained," and then there was <em>that</em> guy.

    They might refuse to fire him¡­

    but that just made it her call, not theirs.

    ***

    Teeva happily spun around in a circle, admiring herself in the echoes from the smooth metal walls of their room.

    She looked beautiful!

    "These clothes are <em>wonderful</em>," she gushed. "They feel so good!"

    Kvaaan smiled at her joy.

    She was right. He couldn''t believe the finery they were simply handed. These were the finest jumpsuits he had ever beheld, made of some luxurious cloth that he had never felt before¡­

    And they fit <em>perfectly</em>.

    They were even given more than one! Astounding! The wealth of these humans was beyond understanding.

    <em>Beyond understanding,</em> he thought with amusement, a verymon thought these days.

    The past two days had been a blur. They had been treated like royalty. No, better than royalty. Even the overlords themselves would be amazed.

    First, they had been swarmed by doctors, more than one for each of them. It turns out those magical cookers and wonderful cookware weren''t cookware at all but arcane devices in which they worked their chemical magics.

    The knowledge terrified him. He had no doubt their chemistry was (heh) "beyond understanding," but he knew something about the subject. He had dabbled in many things plying the darker side of his trade, and the thought of drinking out of his "other cooking pot" was not a happy one.

    Serving his beloved Teeva and his unborn children out of it was the stuff of nightmares.

    Fortunately, theb (not kitchen) they had raided had been used for testing of "raw organicpounds" that they somehow extracted from the huge beneath them (how did they do <em>that</em>?!?), and none of them were "that bad". They then said a bunch of words he didn''t understand after that, but they said there was little to fear either for them or their unborn.

    It turns out that their water vessels were the real problem (they had just thought the pictures of the roaches on the side of them were pretty), but they were given injections that they imed would "clean them up".

    After that, there were more examinations where they were told that their lives before this magical ce were far more damaging than anything they had experienced here and that they would be cured of things they didn''t even know they had.

    Once again, he understood little. It was, once again, "beyond understanding."

    Then there was the food¡­ Oh!¡­ the food!

    It was amazing! Not only did they have the hyper roaches, they had worms, grubs, beetles, snails¡­ all sorts of amazing things.

    They were even given pure, <em>uncut</em> algae! Not only that but something called "seaweed"! He had never seen (or tasted) the like. Teeva said that the overlords would dine on something like it, but she had never tasted it herself.

    Some of it even still had little snails still in it! It was straight from a real ocean!

    It turned out that their diet of roaches and "Jovian rice" wasn''t quite "enough" (by human standards) but that they had been "chronically malnourished" for probably most of their lives. Someone called a "nutritionist" said that just a few additions would make their diet plete".

    Once again,pletely beyond understanding, they were told not to worry about paying and that they would "work it all outter" once they were trained and given jobs.

    This worried him more than a little, but he was prepared to serve his new masters with everything he had. No matter whatbor they demanded, he would do it. They said something about "well above minimum wage," but he didn''t quite understand what that meant.

    What he <em>did</em> understand was that they were going to be <em>paid</em>¡­ in <em>real money</em>, the same money that the humans themselves used! Not only that, but they would be able to buy anything they wanted!¡­ Anything! They even said that all of the finery and the marvelous foods they had sampled would be "cheap", easily purchased with money to spare.

    He would believe <em>that</em> when he saw it, but they had no reason to lie. He and Teeva were entirely at their mercy.

    His thoughts were interrupted by a "quiet" (for humans) knock at the door.

    "May Ie in?" a voice inquired.

    Kvaaan went to the door, raised up on his rear legs, and pressed the panel that would cause the door to open, wondering once again about what <em>exactly</em> caused the "magic door" to work so well. Whatever it was, it had to be in the thin wall, which didn''t leave much room for it to¡­

    He would worry about itter.

    He bowed low before the mighty human before him,pletely shocked when the human bowed as well!

    "Good afternoon," a man wearing one of their luxurious jumpsuits said. "May I enter?" he asked again.

    "We are honored by your visit and powerless to oppose you, oh great and mighty human," Kvaaan said as he, still bowing low, backed into the darkness of the room. "Teeva!" he eximed to his beloved, who waspletely prostrate on the floor. "Turn on the lights to please the mighty human!"

    "There''s no need for that," the human smiled as he pulled out something from his pocket and put it over his eyes. "I can see just fine."

    <em>Of course, he can,</em> Kvaaan thought.

    "And you <em>do</em> have the power to ''oppose'' someone entering your residence," the man said. "You are a free man, Kvaaan, no different than I am. You can also drop the whole bowing and scraping bit. We ''mighty humans'' don''t get off on that."

    "Yes, oh mighty human," Kvaaan replied, returning to a normal quadrupedal stance.

    The human sighed. They were worse than he thought.

    "Allow me to introduce myself," he said, "My name is Cable, and I am part of Zeus Industries''s security division, external affairs section."

    "Greetings, my lord."

    "Ok, Kvaaan," Cable smiled, "That''s going to get real old, real quick. We go by first names here. You are ''Kvaaan,'' and <em>I</em> am ''Cable''. I appreciate what you are trying to do, but you need to get with the program."

    "Get with the program, oh might¡­ Cable?"

    "Learn and adopt our ways," Cable replied gently. "We judge people by their character, personal qualities, and most importantly, how good of a job they do. We find overly submissive disys very offputting. I know you are trying to show respect like you have been taught, but ites across poorly."

    "Forgive me, my¡­" Kvaaan caught himself, "Forgive me¡­ Cable."

    "Nothing to apologize for," Cable replied. "That is the custom where you are from, and I bet that if you failed to do that to the overlords, it wouldn''t be pleasant, would it?"

    "No¡­ Cable."

    "Well, we <em>aren''t</em> the overlords, and making the implication that we <em>are</em> is something you don''t want to do. We don''t like people like them and <em>definitely</em> don''t want to be treated the same way you would treat people like that."

    He stepped towards Kvaaan.

    "This is how you greet a human," he said. "You extend your hand like this," he said as he extended his own.

    "Like this?"

    Cable then took his hand, surprising Kvaaan, and gripped it firmly.

    "Now you do the same," Cable replied. "You want a good firm handshake."

    "Like this?"

    Cable winced.

    "Strong little guy, aren''t you," heughed, "a bit less firm¡­ ok, now that''s just a dead fish. A little firmer¡­ firmer¡­ Good! That''s pretty good. Grip around that hard."

    Cableughed again.

    "Don''t think about it so hard. Just somewhere around there is fine."

    Cable then shook his hand.

    "Hello, my name is Cable."

    He paused.

    "Now you say your name."

    "My name is Kvaaan."

    "It''s nice to meet you, Kvaaan."

    "It''s nice to meet you¡­ Cable."

    "Good," Cable smiled." That''s what you do when you greet a human for the first time. After that, just talk to us like you are talking to one of your own. That is our custom, and you should start trying to learn our ways."

    "Yes, mighty Cable!" Kvaaan replied.

    "No," Cable replied. "No ''mighty Cable'' nonsense. Just ''Cable'' or just ''Yes'' or even ''Yeah''."

    "Yes¡­ Cable."

    "Better," Cable smiled. "Now that that''s out of the way, as I said, my name is Cable, and I work for Zeus Security Forces in their ''external affairs section''. We handle issues outside the Republic, including dealing with foreign governments, external threats, and the like. We also advise Zeus Corporate on xenological matters. As such, I will be your main point of contact and assist in your integration into both human society and Zeus Industries''s unique culture."

    He smiled at the pair.

    "I would also like to learn about you, your culture, and the Kilven Dominion. I would appreciate it if you would let me learn from you."

    "It would be an honor, oh mi¡ª We would be happy to help, Cable."

    "You learn fast," Cable smiled, "That''s a good sign."

    He took a seat and leaned forward meaningfully.

    "Now," he said as his features turned wicked and predatory, "tell me about the Kilven..."

    ***

    Honx, spattered with mud, stumbled as she wrestled with some long heavy cables.

    Every muscle she had ached as she gasped for breath.

    Creators, she was so tired¡­ so tired.

    She tripped over a cable and fell to her knees, yelping with pain.

    Her legs shaking, she struggled to her feet.

    Jamal looked back at his new helper and waved happily.

    "We are in the home stretch now!" he called out happily, "Only a few hours and we got this one in the <em>bag!"</em>

    <em>Hours...</em> Honx thought, blinking back tears. She had <em>never</em> been driven this hard before, not even on her homeworld.

    And Jamal? He just kept going and going and¡­ <em>going</em>¡­

    just like all of the other humans. They were like machines. No. They were worse. Machines needed to be recharged. Machines <em>broke</em>. Humans did neither. They just kept going, even the other helpers.

    The apprentices and the <em>journeymen?</em> They were <em>unnatural</em>. They would go <em>all day</em> and <em>all night</em> without sleep, without even a real break, grabbing a mouthful of food or gulping some water or that coffee that they all seemed to use as deuterium.

    She didn''t know how much longer she couldst.

    Tears started to trickle down her cheeks. She was <em>exhausted</em> and hurt in ways she didn''t even know she could hurt. She needed rest. She needed <em>sleep</em>. It was like her mind was frying in her skull¡­

    And they all just. Kept. Going¡­

    Her ''dreame true'' was a nightmare! She had finally found eptance, a real shot at a real trade, amunity of people who, despite what Jamal had said, were all too happy to share their knowledge¡­ well¡­ most of them, anyway...

    ...and it was all slipping through her fingers.

    She choked back a sob, gritted her teeth, grabbed the cables, and started dragging them through the mud.

    ***

    "Easy money!" Jamal smiled as he and Honx climbed into his grav-lifter.

    "Yeah!" Honx lied, "easy..."

    "You are going to love your next check!" Jamal said as he lightly tapped Honx''s arm with his fist.

    She smiled weakly.

    "I have to say," Jamal said as he entered the address for the closest Waffle Pce, "I was a little worried when I took you on but damn, Honx. You have done really well. I''m proud of you."

    Honx''s heart broke a little.

    Jamal sighed.

    "Whew, I''m <em>worn out</em>. I''m telling you, a belly full of crap, a hot shower, and a bed sounds really good right now."

    <em>Bed!!!</em> Honx thought desperately. <em>Sleep!!!</em> The thoughts shone like the stars in the night.

    A few minutester, she knew true despair as Jamal''s phone rang.

    "What''s up?¡­ What?!?¡­ How the fuck did that happen?..." he said.

    <em>Oh no...</em> she thought. <em>No no no no no no!</em>

    "Dude, I am <em>beat</em>," he said. "Is there anyone¡­ Well, what about Candice?¡­ Nguyen?¡­ Well, shit¡­ Dude, you don''t need to tell me how important this is, Velut Luna and all that¡­ Right. Well, I am <em>going</em> to eat a <em>real</em> meal, and then we will be en route. We should get there¡­ around zero four thirty or so, give or take, and both my helper and I are on double and a half now, just so you know¡­ I don''t <em>care</em> if you have food there. I''m hungry <em>now</em>, asshole¡­ Ha ha¡­ See you then."

    He turned to Honx and smiled.

    "We''re going to have to eat quick," he chuckled ruefully, "and sleep in the air again. That was the shipyard. You won''t believe¡ª"

    Honx burst into tears, ugly ones.

    "Honx?"

    "I (sob)¡­ I..."

    She started crying again, unable to speak.

    Jamal swiveled his seat to face her.

    "What''s wrong?" he asked with concern.

    "I''m so <em>tired</em>!" Honx wailed. "I <em>can''t</em>¡­ I just <em>can''t</em>..."

    "Honx?"

    "I <em>tried</em> (sob). I tried <em>so hard</em>!¡­ I <em>sob</em>¡­ I''m so <em>tired</em>, Jamal. I''m not a <em>human</em>¡­ I''m not like you¡­ I¡­ I..."

    "Hey," Jamal said gently,ying his hand on her shoulder. "It''s ok. We''ve been going nonstop for <em>days</em>. A lot of humans can''t hold up to what we do. If you need a break. You need a break. We''ll grab some waffles, and then I''ll drop you at a hotel along the way."

    "I''m sorry, Jamal."

    "Let''s just get some food in you and get you checked in somece," Jamal said gently.

    It was a quiet meal. Neither said much.

    <em>I am such an asshole</em>, Jamal thought as he looked away. I<em> never even thought about her limitations. Poor kid must have been killing herself, and I didn''t even notice.</em>

    <em>He isn''t even looking at me</em>, Honx thought, feeling heartbroken. I<em> must be such a disappointment. No wonder humans don''t want to hire us. We''re worthless. Now that I''ve tried to stand among them, I see it now. I will never be like them, never.</em>

    "I¡­ um..." Jamal said quietly, "I found you a room not too far from here and got you checked in."

    "Thank you," Honx said, fighting back tears. "I''ll pay you back, I swear."

    "It''s a business expense," he replied, "we were going to stay somewhere anyhow."

    Jamal picked up the tab, and they silently headed to the hotel.

    ***

    "Ok," Jamal said as they pulled into the parking lot, "You are all set. Give me a call when you wake up. I should know more about this trouble call then."

    "You..." Honx said, looking down, "You coulde up with me? Maybe for a little bit?"

    "What?"

    "I let you down," she said as she pulled her snout back, making her pony face, and unzipping her arc-sh coverall. "Maybe I could make it up to you? Since, you know, I can''t do as much as a human, maybe I could do <em>other things</em> for you? I¡ª"

    Her voice froze when she saw the look on Jamal''s face.

    Jamal was <em>angry</em>. She had never seen him look like that before.

    "Honx," he said, "If you were a human, do you know what I would do right fucking now?"

    "Jamal?"

    "I would throw you out of this truck, fire you on the spot, and then call the union. Not just my union but the RFL-CIO. You would NEVER work a union job, ANY union job again."

    Honx just sat there in horror.

    "But," he said sternly, "you aren''t a human, and you didn''t know. We are prettyid back, but there are some hard lines you <em>don''t</em> cross. Trading sex on the job, for the job, is one of those lines. What you just did¡­ we don''t do. I should get rid of you right now because you just threatened my career."

    "I¡­ I did?!?"

    "Yeah, you <em>did,"</em> Jamal replied grimly. "But, you aren''t one of us, and you didn''t know that. You are also exhausted and not thinking straight. That''s what we are going to say this was, understand?"

    <em>Aren''t one of us...</em> Honx''s heart broke with an almost audible snap.

    "Now you are going to get some sleep, and when you wake up, you <em>will</em> go to the union website and look up ''sexual harassment and ''sexual misconduct. You are going to find some training modules. You <em>will</em> take them."

    "Yes, Jamal."

    "I will <em>hopefully</em> be done with whatever is going on at the shipyard by then and had a shower and a nap myself. If you have any questions, we can discuss this then."

    "Ok," she replied quietly, "Um¡­ Jamal..."

    "Just..." Jamal said as he looked away, "Just go. Get some sleep. We''ll talk about thister... if we must."

    Honx quietly got out and stood there as Jamal flew off.

    Several minutester, a Kalesh wearing a smart uniform walked up.

    "Excuse me," he asked, "are you ok?"

    He backed away a little as Honx looked up.

    "No," she said with tears in her eyes.

    ***

    "Well, now I''ve seen <em>everything</em>," Tabitha Littlegull said the next morning as she looked into an electrical cab.

    She pointed a scanner at a strange tangle ofponents.

    "I can see how that <em>could</em> work," she said, "But I''m not an engineer. Hang on."

    She pressed "send".

    "We''ll run that past the engineers and see what they say," she said.

    "It was either that or make ''fuses''," Gavin replied, "And there is <em>no way</em> I''m going to do <em>that</em>. This is bad enough."

    "While we''re waiting," Tabitha said quietly, "Can we speak privately¡­ about Jeruzz?"

    Gavin nodded. He was afraid this might happen.

    "Let''s step outside."

    ***

    Honxy in the hotel bed as the morning light shined on her face.

    She didn''t move, despite the re.

    She couldn''t.

    <em>What had she been thinking?</em>

    The <em>look</em> Jamal gave her¡­

    Why did she even think he would be interested? Only the freaks at the Drop of Oil were interested in something like her¡­

    Even her own <em>family</em> threw her out¡­

    <em>Just like Jamal did!!!</em> He was her "alpha," and she was going to lose him just like before!

    Honx started crying again.

    ***

    "Mr. Richardson," Tabitha said in her official voice, "I understand why someone would take a liking to Jeruzz. I honestly do. You taking on someone like him ismendable, but hispleteck of training puts him and everyone around him at risk. He''s lucky his tongue grows back and snaps off so easily. If it hadn''t, he would be dead."

    "I know," Gavin responded, "and that is <em>entirely</em> my fault. I made the mistake of assuming knowledge and skills that just aren''t there¡­ yet. Jeruzz is a smart guy, but he''s just so fucking <em>ignorant</em> it hurts. The game n was to find him a better job while he was on disability, but he was losing his shit so badly that we put him in the office where the damage is contained¡­ mostly..."

    "Mostly?"

    "He tried to ''help'' by refilling the water cooler once."

    "Oh dear God," Tabithaughed.

    "I wish I had a camera," Gavin smiled, "It was <em>amazing!</em>... And then there was the time he¡ª"

    "Yes?"

    "Nevermind," Gavin chuckled.

    "I couldn''t help but notice a scorch mark under his desk," Tabitha smiled.

    "Oh, that," Gavin scoffed, "It was there when I moved in."

    "If you say so," Tabitha smiled. "Look, I took some time to get to know Jeruzz a little yesterday."

    "Did he show you the pictures of his family?"

    Tabitha winced.

    "Did he mention how his little brothers and sisters can now go to school instead of working in ces that are right out of our history books? How his mother is safe from the same conditions that already killed his father?"

    "Goddammit," Tabitha muttered.

    "He''s actually a pretty good office snake, aside from the asional water bottle."

    "Or fire?"

    "He''s a good office worker," Gavin insisted, "and we confiscated his space heater."

    "Probably wisest."

    "We are giving him training, and I still believe in my <em>soul</em> there is <em>something</em> he can do!" Gavin replied. "For one thing, he''s the one who found the regtions that said those breakers are still legit. He also came up with a solution for a design problem that had been kicking our ass. This isn''t charity. He''s worth <em>something</em>. I just need to find out what. I''m not firing him, and that''s final."

    "Ok," Tabitha replied, "but it''s your ass if this goes south. You know that, right."

    "Painfully so," Gavinughed.

    "Well," Tabitha smiled, "I think I''m done here."

    She tapped her tablet.

    "There''s my report. I trust you will correct the few minor issues I listed."

    "Of course," Gavin smiled.

    "Well, have a nice day," Tabitha replied as she walked away.

    Gavin looked at his phone.

    His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he started to scroll¡­ and scroll.

    "Littlegull!" he shouted as he started jogging after her. "Hang on a second!"

    Tabitha Littlegull just smiled and kept walking.

    ***

    Jamal walked through the airlock and removed his helmet.

    That was a <em>clusterfuck</em>. He had no idea he would actually wind up out here when this one started.

    Somebody needed to lose their card, maybe even go to jail.

    The eyes of the rest of the assembled experts indicated they agreed.

    "So," an older woman with a half-shaved head growled, "We gonna talk about this?"

    "Yeah," Jamal replied. "We know who installed that bullshit?"

    "I''m going to find out," an old Kalesh rumbled. "I documented everything and will submit a full report to the union as well as the Department of the Navy. They''re <em>done."</em>

    "Any objections?" the Kalesh asked.

    Silence.

    "Well, thank you, everyone," he said, "It sucks it took this to get us all in one spot again, but it''s great to see all of you."

    "Same here, Senior," the old woman with the punk hairdo replied. "You all want to head down to Lacey''s, and grab a few?"

    "Sounds good."

    The group started heading out, everyone except for Jamal, who was staring at his phone.

    <em>Resignation?!? What the fuck?!?</em>

    "Hey, sparky," the old Kalesh growled, "Youing."

    "I can''t," he replied, "I got another fire to put out. It can''t wait."

    "That little ''issue'' you mentioned to me earlier?" the Kalesh inquired.

    Jamal nodded.

    "Sucks for you then," the Kalesh shrugged, "Come on, guys! First round''s on me!"

    Jamal pressed an icon.

    "This is Jamal Mayweather," he said into his phone, "Yeah, <em>that</em> Mayweather. I <em>need</em> transport to the service an hour ago. It''s urgent. Can you help?"

    ***

    "She''s been like that since she came back," Littlefoot whispered to Craxina as she rushed into the tent.

    "Honx?" Craxina asked, "You ok?"

    Honx justy there, silent and motionless.

    "Honx?" Craxina asked quietly as she crawled on top of her, hugging her tightly.

    "I messed everything up," Honx said quietly, "Can¡­ Can Ie back¡­ please?"

    "Of course, you can," Craxina said as shey on her, still hugging.

    "It''s all I''m good for," Honx wept.

    "Now hang on," Craxina replied, "You cane back if you <em>want</em>, but this sounds like something different. What happened?"

    Honx burst into tears as she told Craxina everything.

    ***

    A few hourster, Craxina red up at Jamal, who fidgeted ufortably.

    He was much bigger than her, but at the moment, he didn''t feel like it. He <em>felt</em> like he was staring into the jaws of a dire wolf...

    ...a <em>very</em> pissed-off one.

    "May I speak to Honx, please," Jamal asked as Craxina silently red at him.

    "Close the door," Craxina said icily.

    ***

    "I know this part is tedious and unpleasant," Charlotte said patiently to a motley group of xenos sitting in front of her, each holding an actual b of te and a bit of chalk (that they cut themselves¡­ Charlotte insisted.), "but I <em>promise</em> it will be very interesting indeed. However, before we can build a tower of knowledge that reaches heaven itself, we must firsty the foundation. That is what we are now doing."

    "But do we <em>have</em> to do all of this?" someone whined.

    "My dear sister," Charlotte smiled (a real one causing everyone to wince), "you do not <em>have</em> to do anything. We Nope have a saying, ''Many hatch.'' You''ve hatched. You have peeked out of your tiny little egg and have crawled into this first shallow little puddle. Whether or not you proceed from this point is not for me to say¡­ or to enforce. I shall lead the way, my young sister. My trail will lead you to that certificate¡­ and beyond¡­ It will lead to <em>so</em> many wonderful things. Follow or not. However, please do not detract from what little time we all have with these protestations. If I did not feel that you ''had to do all of this,'' I would not waste <em>my</em> time like you are doing right now. Giving my time to those who seek the light is my pleasure, honor, and sacred duty. As such, I have NONE to waste with the foolish or thezy. Take up your stone and begin again or leave. I simplyy the trail. If someone tries to follow, I will <em>never</em> abandon them, no matter what it takes. They are my sister and my swarm and my <em>life.</em> If someone does not follow the trail, then they are not my sister and not my concern. Many hatch, dear. Many. Hatch."

    The xeno fell silent.

    "Now, my newly molted <em>sisters,"</em> she smiled, "Begin agai¡ª"

    They all fell silent as Craxina''s angry voice screeched and chittered.

    "Man," another xeno giggled, "Someone fucked <em>up</em>. I wonder who is in there."

    "I think I saw a human walk in," yet another replied, "you know, the cute guy who makes the lights go."

    "She did NOT like that invoice," someone else whispered.

    "This sounds worse than that," someone whispered. "do you think something happened with Honx? I thought I saw her earlier!"

    Charlotte sighed as she lost control of her outdoor ssroom¡­ again.

    There was always something going on. It was great for her actual assignment but a terrible environment for learning. Still, her "ssroom" was a wee bit of normalcy, and the chaos made up for the fact that they were so boringlypliant as opposed to a hunt of newly molted underssmen.

    She paused to appreciate the colorfulnguageing from Craxina''s newly installed port-a-office.

    Who would have thought that something so small, soft, and cuddly could be so hard, spiky, and terrifying the way that she did? The others of her kind said it was because she had be a ''mother''.

    A ''mother''¡­ Was this part of their strange reproduction practices? As her ss whispered and giggled, she started to ponder this. Maybe this is why it was so sessful, not because of the resources expended on the young, but what it turned the parents into?

    Something to think about, and include in her next report.

    ***

    Jamal quietly opened a tent p.

    Honx looked up at him with wounded eyes.

    "Hey," he said quietly.

    Honx looked down and didn''t say anything.

    "Look, Honx," he said, "I''m sorry. I''m sorry I pushed you too hard. I had no idea you were having so much trouble keeping up. I was just going like I always do. You are so¡­ ¡®human¡¯¡­ I forgot you weren''t one. Look, if you are having trouble, <em>tell me.</em> If you need a break or a bite to eat, <em>take one.</em> That''s what we do, and I assumed you would do the same. I¡­ I just had a talk with Craxina¡­

    Honx made a quiet little chuckle. Craxina was <em>furious</em>. That probably didn''t go well.

    "She told me about you¡­ your people¡­ what you are¡­ some other things...¡±

    Honx flinched.

    "You were waiting for <em>permission</em> to take a break, to eat, or drink, weren''t you?"

    Honx nodded miserably.

    "I didn''t know," Jamal said as he sat down on the cushions beside her. "We don''t do that. You were waiting for permission that would nevere, and I had no idea you needed it. I just thought you were a hard charger."

    Honx started crying.

    "I couldn''t keep up¡­ I tried so hard..."

    "Do you have any idea how long I''ve done this?" Jamal asked, "What I''ve been through? I built up to this over <em>years</em>. You''re just starting, Honx. Every new kid, human or not, gets their asses kicked by this job."

    "I was afraid you wouldn''t <em>want</em> me."

    "Well, I do," Jamal replied. "You learn quickly and work your ass off. Just don''t kill yourself doing it, ok?"

    Honx smiled weakly.

    "And about that ''other thing''," Jamal said ufortably.

    Honx looked away.

    "Craxina exined that too," he said desperately wishing he didn''t have to talk about this, "about how your species works, the three sexes and all that, and how your¡­ (cough) sex¡­ works within their family¡­ how work duties and sexual ones are all¡­ fucked up¡­ By our standards!" he added hastily. "You didn''t know and were just trying to¡­"

    He shifted ufortably.

    "You were just¡­"

    He looked away. This was just <em>weird</em>.

    "I''m just saying I get it now," he said after a second.

    He sighed heavily.

    "She also told me about <em>how</em> your family rejected you, kicking you out of their vehicle and driving off, exactly like I did."

    Honx started to weep again.

    "I had no idea," he said, "I <em>honestly</em> just meant go to the hotel, get some sleep, and we would talk about thister. I had <em>absolutely</em> no intention of abandoning you."

    "You didn''t?"

    "I didn''t," he smiled gently, "We don''t have ''families'' quite the same way, but you are my helper and <em>will</em> be my apprentice. That is kind of like a ''family''¡­ just without the sex."

    "We''re a¡­ a family?"

    "Yeah," Jamal replied, "kinda. For me to kick you out of my truck the way your first family did, you would have to <em>really</em> fuck up <em>bad</em>."

    "I thought I did," she whimpered. "I thought I lost you!"

    "Because I fucked up bad," Jamal sighed. "Look, this is all new territory for me in more ways than one. I''ve <em>never</em> taken somebody on like this before, and <em>nobody</em> has taken on one of you before. There are bound to be ''surprises'' along the way."

    He put his hand on Honx''s shoulder as shey there.

    "I think this is important," he said, "not only that <em>you</em> are important or that <em>we</em> are important."

    He sighed.

    "It''s <em>bad</em>, Honx," he said, "It wasn''t always like this, you know. We humans and Kalesh didn''t always work like we do now. It''s the war. We lost <em>so</em> many people, good ones. That''s why we drive ourselves into the dirt. We have too much to do and no time to do it¡­ Do you think I <em>like</em> working the way I do? I hate it. I used to have a <em>life</em>, you know..."

    He looked down.

    "Now I just¡­ work. I work every day like my life and the lives of everyone else depend on it because it''s the <em>truth</em>. The bug ising, Honx, maybe not today or tomorrow, but they <em>will</em>e back, and if we aren''t ready, it''s <em>over</em>."

    He looked at her earnestly.

    "We <em>need</em> good techs, millions of them that we don''t have. We <em>need</em> you."

    "You <em>need</em> me?"

    "Yeah," Jamal said quietly, "I do¡­ We do¡­ We <em>desperately</em> need more of us, and building you is every bit as important as building another warship. We''re fighting for our lives. We''re just doing it with wrenches. Every job we do down here keeping everything running means one more person, up there, building our fleet."

    "After how I treated you," Jamal said, "I really don''t have the right to ask, but would youe back to work for me. I''ll try to be better at this. I promise."

    <em>" Oh, Jamal!"</em> Honx cried as she embraced him tightly¡­

    and fondly¡­ entirely too fondly¡­

    "Um..."

    "Sorry!" she eximed as she jumped back.

    "It''s¡­ ok," Jamal said, clearly flustered. "About that," he added ufortably, "I get it now, but we humans keep that separate. I can be your employer, your teacher, and your mentor, <em>or</em> I can be your lover, not both, ok?"

    Honx nodded.

    "But I don''t have to be both," he said gently, "I don''t require it, and you shouldn''t feel that you need to do it."

    "¡­ but what if I <em>want</em> to..." she said quietly, "Like you said, we are <em>different</em>, and you are such a good alpha¡­ So strong and so kind¡­ so giving¡­ so¡­ so <em>wonderful</em>..."

    Jamal coughed. He <em>really</em> didn''t want to have this conversation or even think about it too much.

    "Honx," he said carefully, "I''d be lying if I said that I hadn''t¡­ um¡­ I¡­ I think you are pretty great, too¡­"

    "You do?!?"

    <em>" But,"</em> he said firmly, "That <em>can''t</em> happen. You are my helper, and if we started <em>anything</em>, it wouldpletely discredit the both of us. Nobody in the union would ever take <em>either</em> of us seriously again. I could survive that," he said," <em>You</em> can''t. You would never get to be a helper for anyone else, and you would NEVER get your apprenticeship. I won''t do that to you <em>because</em> I care about you."

    Honx looked away.

    "I understand."

    They sat in silence for a while.

    "What do we..." Honx said quietly, "What do we do?"

    "We take a few days off," Jamal smiled, "and then, after <em>both</em> of us are rested up a bit..."

    He grinned.

    "We get back to work."

    "Yes, Jamal," Honx smiled.

 Chapter 189: Ultra Low Effort Shitpost: Goddamit, Tartarus

    Chapter 189: Ultra Low Effort Shitpost: Goddamit, Tartarus

    ///Private Message: Author01 to Tartarus Detention Facility ///

    ///Goddammit, Tartarus, I told you to be careful! ///

    ///Private Message: Tartarus Detention Facility to Author 01 ///

    ///I am being careful, my dear.///

    ///Private Message: VERY ANNOYED Author 01 to Tartarus Detention Facility ///

    ///Oh, Really?///

    ///Private Message: Author01 to Tartarus Detention Facility///

    ///Well?///

    ///Private Message: Tartarus Detention Facility to Author01///

    ///You''re talking to your characters again. Have you been taking your meds?///

    [Tartarus Detention Facility has left the chat]

    ///Author01: Oh no you don''t! Get back here!///

 Chapter 190: Eno Goes Yellowstone and Sheloran Gets a BIG Surprise

    Chapter 190: Eno Goes Yellowstone and Sheloran Gets a BIG Surprise

    Humming a happy tune, Gloria skipped into the ship''s maintenance area.

    "Hi, Chief," she said in a cute cheerful voice.

    "Hi, Gloria," the chief replied as he waved one of his wide, leathery, frond-like hands. "Still have no idea what your ship is made out of."

    "Me neither," Gloria giggled (giggled!), "But I''m here for something else. Do you have any titanium te lying around?"

    "I have some on the rack," the chief replied as he reached for his sma cutter. "How much do you need."

    "Oh, don''t go cutting our stock," she said happily, "Do you have any off-cuts or anything?"

    "How big?"

    "I''m not picky," Gloria chirped, "Something about like this," she added, gesturing with her hands.

    "This work?" the chief said as he rooted around a little and pulled out a dinner tray sized piece of Titante.

    "That''s <em>perfect!"</em> Gloria purred as she epted the piece of armor ting and tucked it under her arm. "Thanks, Chief!"

    She happily <em>skipped</em> away.

    After she left, the inte light switched on.

    "You just <em>gave</em> it to her?" Bunny asked dubiously.

    "You''re goddamn right I did!" the chief replied as he returned to what he was doing, "I''m not feeling especially suicidal at the moment."

    He winced. He should NOT have said that.

    <em>"Have</em> you been feeling suicidal ofte?" Bunny asked.

    "No, Bunny," he sighed, "I have NOT been feeling remotely self-harmy <em>at all!"</em>

    "I only ask because I care," Bunny replied, "well, that and because¡ª"

    "I TOLD you that <em>temporary</em> restriction of a Kalesh''s oxygen intake prolongs and increases the intensity of orgasms! I was just <em>harvesting tubers</em>, you invasive FUCK! <em>I was holding a dead man''s switch and everything!</em> Would you PLEASE just drop it!"

    "Ok," Bunny replied, "but you know that if you ever need to talk to someone, I''m here."

    "Oh, for fuck''s sake!" the chief eximed. "How about you just watch me jerk off like you always do and raise the rm if my vitals get too low?"

    "Deal!" Bunny eximed cheerfully, "I''ll even help if you want me to!"

    "What?!?"

    Bunny burst out intoughter.

    "Not funny!" the chiefughed because it was, in fact, funny.

    "Seriously though," Bunny said, "you could add wireless to that dead man''s switch¡­"

    "That actually wouldn''t be a bad idea," the chief mused. "Creepy as fuck, but a not a bad idea."

    "Just think of it as a (snerk) helping hand."

    They both howled withughter for a moment.

    "Hey, Bunny?"

    "Yeah, Chief?"

    "Do you have any idea what Gloria has nned for that titanium te?"

    "Not a clue," Bunny replied, "but I am recording every <em>second</em> of this!"

    "Put up a holo," the Chief said as he pulled out an omni-meter.

    ***

    Sheloran curled up on the deck, paralyzed by shock and misery.

    Gloria was <em>so mean</em>¡­

    but she was right. Every horrifying word was <em>absolutely correct</em>

    <em>The dead/not dead woman was right.</em>

    "I know she''s right," Sheloran muttered, "Shut the poop up."

    She looked over at the cicadas.

    They spent eight years hiding in the soil, safely asleep as they grew, and then took wing, their form whole andplete, their ultimate destiny met in the barest flicker of time.

    Then, even more peace.

    She envied them.

    She envied them <em>so much</em>.

    <em>Choose!!!</em>

    "Oh, go jump in a pond," she muttered.

    ***

    "Sheloran," Eno said in apassionate voice as he walked around the corner. "I brought you some food. I thought you might¡ª"

    He froze as he saw Sheloran curled up, motionless¡­

    His eyestched onto the bag.

    <em>Cicadas!!!</em>

    Eno finally went Yellowstone.

    ***

    Gloria sauntered into the galley where Mike and Lorna were sitting together, as they always did.

    Lorna was feeding Mike pudding.

    "Aww," Gloria sneered, "herees the shuttle..."

    "Fuck you, Gloria," Mike said as he opened wide.

    "Jealous?" Lorna smirked.

    "Oh, wherever will I find someone to¡ª"

    <strong>" Gloria!!!"</strong> Eno bellowed as he charged into the room like an enraged gori, balled up one of his massive fists¡­

    And unleashed a lethal, bone-crushing¡ª

    <strong>KaCrunchSt</strong>

    He howled in pain as Gloria peeked from behind the titanium b held between her two hands.

    She smiled¡­

    Her arms shot outward, driving the t te into Eno''s face, followed by a brutal kick to his balls.

    He started to double over.

    Another kick to his knee sent him to the floor, no longer sure which injury to clutch in agony anymore.

    "And that''s (kick) why...(kick)¡­ you (kick) don''t hit (kick) <em>girls</em>!!!"

    <em>Kick¡­ kick¡­ kick¡­ (pause)¡­ kick...</em> brutal kick after brutal kick was precisely applied.

    "Um, Gloria?" Lorna said as she cautiously approached.

    Gloria looked up happily.

    "One sec," she smiled.

    She raised her leg, angling the heel of her boot downward¡­

    <strong>" Samuels!"</strong>

    She''s voice boomed over the inte and echoed down the hall.

    <strong>"Stand. Down."</strong>

    Gloria shrugged.

    She looked at the bloody mess at her feet and sneered.

    "You just got lucky," she said.

    "And you two just <em>stood there?!?"</em> She demanded.

    "What the fuck did you want <em>us</em> to do about it?" Lorna demanded. "I am NOT going up against either of those fuckers unless I got a green light!"

    "Jacob!" She''s voice echoed across the entire ship, "First aid needed in the galley. Gloria! Go to your quarters and stay there!"

    "Jacob, let me know the second that stupid <em>fuck</em> is stable!¡­ Gah!"

    The halls fell silent.

    "Eno?" Sheloran said as she wandered into the room, clutching a bag of cicadas, "why did you run..."

    "Eno!" she cried out as she rushed to him.

    She looked around the room in shock and confusion.

    "What happened to him?"

    "Gloria," Lorna said quietly, "Gloria happened to him."

    <em>¡±Hisssssssssssssss...¡±</em>

    Sheloran crouched over Eno, her eyes starting to glow.

    "Well, this should be fun," Gloria smiled happily as she dropped into a fighting stance.

    "Oh, for FUCK''S SAKE!" She shouted over the inte.

    ***

    "I have fucking HAD it!" She shouted as she paced the galley/mess hall in front of the entire ship.

    "We haven''t been stuck on this ship for that long, and we are at this point?" she snarled.

    "To be fair," Jacob said, "It <em>feels</em> like we''ve been stuck here for <em>months</em>."

    "Well, we haven''t!" She snapped. "We are falling apart! Insubordination, security breaches..."

    She red at Jessie, who grinned back, not improving She''s mood, "and now FIGHTS?"

    She red at Eno and Gloria.

    "You were about to kill each other!"

    "Payback, bitch!" Gloria sneered.

    "Shut up!" She yelled.

    She then stared at Sheloran, who wilted under her gaze.

    <em>" You</em> are a <em>guest</em> here," she snapped. "I''ve let you move freely, but one more little disy like that, and you will spend the rest of our time together locked in your quarters and will be dumped when we get to MAGA, got it?"

    "Yeah,"

    "That''s ''yes, Captain!''"

    "Yes, Captain," Sheloran said meekly.

    "Do you have ANY idea what would have happened if you actually made a move on one of my crew <em>for any reason</em>?" She snarled, "I would have given Mike and Lorna the order to <em>open fire on your blue ass!!!"</em>

    "Yay, us," Lorna said quietly.

    "With the rest of the crew getting the order a secondter. A pack of Harkeen is one thing. We are another. Never forget that."

    "Yes, Captain," Sheloran squeaked.

    "Now go to your quarters while I decide what to fucking do with you," She snapped.

    Sheloran meekly got up and left.

    After Sheloran left, She red at her crew.

    "Discipline WILL be maintained!" she snarled, "We are in an active operation, and in an active operation, <em>I</em> am the <emmanding officer</em>. Maybe you have all forgotten that. This ship WILL operate in ordance with both our bws AND by the code of the Brethren of the Void! Do NOT test me!"

    "Yes, ma''am," the crew said quietly.

    "Our MISSION, our SURVIVAL, and quite possibly the REPUBLIC depends on our professionalism, discipline, and bearing. Don''t make me the bad guy, please, but don''t doubt for a SECOND that I will be that bad guy. Got it?"

    "Yes, ma''am."

    "Dismissed," She barked. "Gloria, Eno, stay where you are."

    The rest of the crew gave them a sympathetic nce as they got the FUCK out of there.

    She closed the door.

    "Ok," she said, leveling her gaze at the pair, making them both cringe a bit. "That''s twice now. Two times you two have tried to kill each other."

    "I wasn''t going to <em>kill</em> him," Gloria replied, "not all the way."

    "You''re one and one now," she said to Gloria. "Are you satisfied, or do I have to lock you in your quarters until it''s time to unleash you."

    "I''m good," Gloria said with a cute little smile.

    "Get out," She said with a weary tone. "and you are on thin ice. One more fuck up, and it won''t be the frog that gets locked in her room."

    "You got it¡­ Major!" Gloria said cheerfully as she bounced up from her chair and sauntered to the door.

    "Major!" Eno eximed, "you are just going to let her go?!? After what she did to Sheloran?!?"

    "Close the door on your way out, would you, Lieutenant?"

    "Yes, ma''am!"

    She turned to Eno, thest person in the room.

    "What, <em>exactly</em>, did she do to Sheloran, Eno?" She said in the ''you are in the deepest of shit'' tone.

    "She¡­ she..." Eno spluttered, "She hit her or something!"

    "Did she?" She smiled grimly, "Bunny, would you <em>y</em> the appropriate log, starting when Gloria first approached Sheloran?"

    "You got it, bossdy!..."

    After the recording, Eno sat there, spluttering.

    "Not the <em>kindest</em> of chats," She said, looming over the giant, "but did it <em>really</em> justify you attacking her?"

    Eno looked down.

    <em>" Twice,</em> Eno," She said in a terrifyingly dispassionate voice, "That''s two times you have attacked, seriously attacked, a fellow crew member. Oh, we roughhouse, tussle, asionally prank¡­ even stun each other from time to time..."

    She looked at him with ''officer'' eyes.

    "But you <em>sought to do real bodily harm</em> to a fellow member of thispany on two separate asions. Now, the first time," She said with a grim face, "I let that slide. To be honest, I wanted to strangle her myself."

    Eno just sat there, quiet andpletely terrified.

    "You inflicted actual injuries on her to the point that she required medical treatment beyond what we could provide here. You are lucky that either she or her family didn''te after you for that. It could have torn thispany apart. With everyone taking sides, it almost <em>did</em> tear thispany apart. A lot of people were calling for your dismissal, or worse."

    Eno looked up, shocked.

    "I won''t tell you who said what," She replied, "But your¡­ history¡­ was discussed, a history that I had some real reservations about when you were voted in."

    "Ma''am..." Eno said as if he couldn''t breathe.

    She pulled out hermunicator.

    "Quartermaster," she said calmly, "Would you please report to the galley?"

    "Yes, Captain," Gregg replied with a sigh. He was afraid of this.

    "She!" Eno gasped, "Major¡­ <em>Captain</em>¡­ <em>Please</em>..."

    "What, <em>exactly</em>, is our current mission, Eno?" She asked with a slight snarl.

    ¡°We¡­ we¡­¡±

    "We are supporting <em>Lieutenant Samuels</em> as she strikes <em>targets vital to the Republic itself</em>, deep in Republic space..."

    She leaned down inches away from Eno''s face.

    <strong>"Gloria IS the fucking mission!!!"</strong>

    Eno flinched, closing his eyes.

    "And you went off half cocked and jeopardized that <em>mission</em> OVER A FUCKING XENO! YOU PICKED YOUR GIRLFRIEND OVER THE MOTHERFUCKING REPUBLIC!!!"

    "She''s¡­ She''s not..."

    "She is your girlfriend," She snarled," <em>You just aren''t getting any."</em>

    Eno started to protest but fell silent.

    "If Gloria hadn''t kicked your ass so bad, <em>I had to save your life</em>, you could have very well thrown away the <em>only</em> reason we are all going to be <em>fugitives for life</em> and the <em>only</em> chance we have of making that sacrifice worthwhile. I now have to make a very difficult decision, and you are <em>lucky</em> that we are making port soon, or that decision would be <em>much</em> harder."

    "Ma''am..." Eno said, unsure of exactly which title to use (it gets really confusing). "I¡­ I didn''t ''pick'' Sheloran over the Republic¡­ I <em>never</em> would¡­ I¡­ I just saw herying there and¡­ and..."

    "And lost your fucking mind," She said, "Just like you lost your mind thest time and the times before you joined our crew."

    He looked down at the floor.

    "You know," She said as Greg entered the room, "you are a lot more of a danger than Gloria. With Gloria, we <em>know</em> what she is. She''s <em>honest</em>. She doesn''t pretend to be anything other than what she is, fucked up as that might be. <em>You</em>, you''re different. You <em>lie</em>. You <em>cover it up</em>. And we fell for it. The only one who didn''t was <em>Gloria</em>, and you had better <em>thank</em> her the next time you see her."

    She turned to her quartermaster (and sergeant-major and second inmand¡­ like I said, confusing).

    "Greg?"

    "I talked to Gloria, and she says she''sfortable with Eno remaining if we arefortable with her killing him next time. She also said that we should consider how the situation appeared if we were a ''fucking moron who hasn''t gottenid for so long he is sniffing a frog''s asshole''..."

    Greg smirked,

    "and entered that <em>exact</em> statement in our official log."

    She chuckled.

    "Have you prepared Eno''s dishonorable payout?"

    "Yes, ma''am."

    "Keep it on file, locked in at today''s valuation."

    "Yes, ma''am."

    "Eno," she said, "you are hereby <em>disenrolled</em> from this crew for actions against the ship and crew suspended for a period of two years, after which it will be reviewed, and your continued membership will be put to a general vote. Should you be invited to remain, you will receive your full share and any back revenue due. Do you understand?"

    "Yes, ma''am¡­ Thank you, ma''am."

    "Don''t thank me," She said, "Thank Gloria. You are <em>only</em> still here because she <em>allowed</em> you."

    He nodded, saying nothing.

    "I would do some other punishment bullshit, but what the fuck am I going to do, confine you to the ship? Have you flogged and be a man down? Extra duty? I don''t feel like choking on fresh paint fumes, and having you sweep robotically cleaned floors is just stupid... Just¡­ just get back to work."

    "Yes, ma''am¡­ thank¡­ thank you, ma''am."

    "Fuck up one more time, <em>even a little bit</em>, and you are confined to quarters until we rece you. Fuck up like you did today, and you will LEAVE this ship IMMEDIATELY whether we are docked or not. Don''t test me on this. We didn''t have court martials on Corvux."

    "I¡­ I understand."

    "Get out of my sight."

    Eno slunk out of the room like a freshly castrated dog.

    "I fucking HATE this," She sighed as she reached into the fridge and pulled out two beers, handing one to Greg. "It was bad enough in the service but here¡­"

    She turned up the bottle.

    "For the record," he said as he opened his, "I think you handled it perfectly."

    <em>"For the record,"</em> She said as she wiped her mouth, "Thispany has been going downhill ever since the fucking <em>White Star."</em>

    She finished the bottle.

    "I wish I never even <em>looked</em> at that goddamn ship," she muttered.

    ***

    That evening Shelorany in her bunk staring at the ceiling.

    She couldn''t sleep.

    Everything, every <em>truth</em> that Gloria had told her just yed over and over¡­

    Over and over¡­

    She wondered if this was what Gloria''s life was like, just fifty million times worse.

    She couldn''t imagine what that would be like.

    <em>You will find out soon enough...</em>

    "Now you are just trying to be mean," Sheloran replied, "and I''m too tired to give a poop."

    The intrusive thought evaporated¡­ for all the good it did.

    She rolled around and clutched at one of her pillows.

    <em>I wish Craxina was here,</em> she thought.

    She chuckled. Who would have thought she would desperately want someone to cling to, some warmth, some contact, just the simple basicfort of someone nearby to ease her into much needed slumber.

    She hugged her pillow tightly. It helped¡­

    But nowhere near enough.

    ***

    An hourter, Eno was also staring at the ceiling.

    <em>Disenrolled</em>¡­

    He felt a lump in his throat.

    <em>Dishonorable Discharge...</em>

    He''d been here before¡­ and it didn''t feel any better the second time around. He had finally found a <em>unit</em>¡­ found <em>honor</em>¡­ found <em>pride</em>¡­

    He could hold his head high, once again a member of something special, something elite¡­

    Something better than himself, what he <em>really</em> was¡­

    A tear trickled down his cheek.

    Why didn''t he just¡­ <em>ask</em>. He could have just <em>asked</em> Sheloran. He could have asked <em>Bunny</em>! She would have known¡­ <em>and</em> would have raised the rm if anything <em>close</em> to what he thought happened actually did.

    He should have <em>known</em> it wasn''t what he thought, but once again, he didn''t <em>think</em>.

    He stopped ''thinking'' years ago when the bug were cutting down people, soldiers and xeno alike. He didn''t have time, and if he <em>did</em>, there was no way he could charge out there again and again¡­

    And when he got his hands on one of those¡­ <em>things</em>¡­

    He didn''t have to think about that either¡­

    He let out a strangled sob.

    He couldn''t lose everything again! He couldn''t lose <em>another</em> unit, another team¡­ Not again¡­

    He would rather <em>die</em>! He could¡­

    There was a quiet knock at the door, interrupting a very dangerous line of thought.

    He opened the door to reveal Sheloran, still clutching her pillow, d in one of Gloria''s t-shirts, now pressed into service as a nightgown.

    "Sheloran?" he asked, "What are¡­ Do¡­ Do you need something? Are you feeling ill?"

    "No," she said, looking down and twisting her foot, "It''s¡­ I can''t sleep."

    "Wee to the club," he said, "But I''m not sure if I have anything that would work or work safely. I could check."

    "No, it''s..." Sheloran stammered, "It''s stupid, never mind."

    She turned to leave.

    "What is it?" Eno asked, "If I can help, please, let me help at least someone today."

    "I''m..." Sheloran said, clearly embarrassed, "I''m not used to sleeping alone anymore¡­ Not like that!" she squeaked at Eno''s shocked expression, "I mean <em>sleep</em>. I''ve had Craxina living with me for so long, and keeping her out of your bed is <em>impossible</em>¡­ I guess I sort of got used to it? And today was so rough I just¡­ I need¡­ want I mean..."

    Eno just shrugged. Maybe it <em>would</em> help. It''s not like he was <em>actually</em> simping for her, not <em>physically</em>.

    He just smiled.

    "Sure," he shrugged, "I had a custom bed installed. There is plenty of room."

    They climbed into bed together and Sheloran nestled in close, clutching his arm.

    It wasn''t long before she fell asleep.

    He looked over at her and smiled.

    <em>You know,</em> he thought, <em>This isn''t that bad. It''s kind of nice.</em>

    There was something about her that was just¡­ soothing.

    As he rapidly started to join her in much needed rest, he thought about what the crew would say if/when they saw her leave his quarters.

    It didn''t matter. He was already so deep in the shit he couldn''t really get any deeper without getting thrown out of an airlock.

    I mean, what''s the worst that could happen?

    ***

    The next morning Sheloran awoke happier and more rested than she had been since the morning before the Drop of Oil burned.

    She felt <em>wonderful</em>.

    She pulled herself in closer andid her arm over Eno¡­

    And touched <em>something</em>¡­

    something <em>big</em>¡­

    something where it <em>definitely was not supposed to be</em>!

    Her eyes flew open.

    Eno had a <em>massive</em> erection, bigger than any she had the misfortune of identally witnessing back at the Drop.

    Squeaksquealing in horror, she leaped from the bed, clutching the sheets around her.

    "Wha?" Eno said as he awoke, "What?"

    "You¡­ want <em>that</em>..." Sheloran squeaked, "With <em>me</em>?!?"

    "What?" Eno said, now fully awake and trying to process. "What do you mean wan¡ª"

    He looked down.

    <em>"Oh no!"</em> he eximed, "No! It''s not like that. It''s just something that happens when¡ª"

    <em>"I know exactly when it happens!!!"</em> Sheloran squeaked, iling at the door, which started to open.

    Squeezing through the still opening door, Sheloran fled into the hall, clutching the sheets around her,pletely obscuring her improvised nightgown.

    "Sheloran!" Eno called out, putting his pillow over his erection as he stepped into the hall, "Wait!"

    ***

    Mike and Lorna were, once again, in the galley.

    Lorna was cooking breakfast.

    "Something smells good," Gloria said as she walked in wearing a pair of shorts and a halter top.

    Mike and Lorna looked at each other dubiously.

    "Make me some?"

    "I don''t know," Lorna replied, "You gonna earn these eggs the same way Mike did?"

    "Sure," Gloria said as she plopped down next to Mike, "you wanna spread them right here, or you wanna¡ª"

    Sheloran sprinted past the open doorway, clutching a sheet around her¡­

    The trio fell silent, looking at each other.

    "Sheloran!" Eno''s voice echoed down the hall.

    "Did..." Mike said after a moment, "Did we <em>all</em> just see that?"

    "Yep," Lorna replied.

    "She is right," Gloria said with pure delight, "this ship is going straight to hell¡­ or at least Eno is."

    She looked up.

    "Hey, Bunny."

    All Bunny could do wasugh over the inte.

    ***

    She, in her grey boxers and "Army" t-shirt, opened the door to her quarters with a bit of reluctance.

    Yesterday sucked.

    Yesterday sucked <em>bad</em>¡­ but¡­

    Some weird fucked up dynamics finally broke and did so with minimal damage.

    Gloria had even been surprisingly merciful. She was expecting far, far worse.

    She also was able to address some rather disturbing and potentially dangerous trends with the crew.

    Maybe, just maybe¡­ things <em>might</em>¡ª

    Sheloran, appearing to be d only in a sheet, bolted past.

    She stood there for a moment.

    "Nope!" she shouted, turned around, closed the door behind her, and went back to bed.

 Chapter 191: Desssssperathe Measuressth

    Chapter 191: Desssssperathe Measuressth

    Well past nightfall, Jeruzz parked his little ¡°bubble scooter,¡± one of the smallest gravitic vehicles legally allowed to carry passengers, into its charging cradle and slithered out onto the gravel walkway in front of his ¡°single wide¡± out in the woods less than fifteen minutes from his job.

    Of course, with the speeds those little ¡°scooters¡± could reach, fifteen minutes got him pretty far out into the wilderness.

    He slithered happily up the steps to the entrance, and wound his body up one of the handrails, already beginning to be polished through use.

    He paused at the top of the rail and admired his domain.

    He was doing pretty well for himself, far better than he could have ever dreamed. His spiffy little scooter was a bit used but really reliable. Everyone had congratted him on his choice, a pre-war Terran ¡°Flying Swallow¡±.

    He didn¡¯t have the heart to tell everyone that the only reason he picked it was that he liked the name. He had no idea that it was a ¡°ssic¡±¡­

    ¡­or that it could go <em>fast</em>.

    That little thing could <em>move</em>. It was just a little streamlined bubble, barelyrge enough to hold a single human, and didn¡¯t have a reactor, just a capacitor bank. It was nothing but thrusters and just enough metal to keep the thing from flying apart.

    He loved it! Technically, it was capable of supersonic and high altitude flight, but that required extra (and pricey) inspections to unlock, and he didn¡¯t go ¡°cross country,¡± so he hadn¡¯t bothered with it.

    Neither had the dealer or so they imed. Jeruzz wasn¡¯t so sure. A ¡°mach rated¡± one was worth a LOT more than he paid and would have been more than worth the dealer¡¯s time and money to at least check. He was just a dumb snek, but he wasn¡¯t <em>stupid</em>, and ¡°used car dealers¡± were a thing where he was from as well.

    He didn¡¯t mind. It was ¡°nifty¡± and ¡°zippy¡± and got him where he wanted to go. Maybe one day he would see about fixing it up but getting one mach rated was a notorious money pit that often cost <em>thousands</em> more than even the experts expected, or so MyTube said.

    He had better uses for his money. Snek school tuition back home wasn¡¯t cheap, and he was sending four little noodles through it at the same time. He didn¡¯t need to break the sound barrier.

    He looked across his ¡°estate¡±.

    Well, that¡¯s what he would call it. What else would you call <em>fifteen acres</em> with a nice little stream going through it? Land, especially out here, was <em>cheap</em> in the Republic. Once he was officially part of the First Nations he only had to file for a ¡°homestead¡± and they just <em>gave</em> him one!

    Unbelievable. He was officially andowner! Gettingnd in an ¡°incorporated zone¡± could get pricey, but out here in ¡°Nations Territory,¡± it was literally free! Most people owned or rented in a town and just had their homestead as a camp or other recreational area, but thanks to his little scooter, he could be anywhere about as fast as he wanted, even the city, and <em>not have to pay rent!!!</em>

    Using his tail, he pressed an icon on the dimly glowing touchscreen near the door of his ¡°mansion¡±, another vish purchase¡± that was unbelievably cheap!

    It was a ¡°Scrubview Ash Ship¡± portable tube home or a ¡°single wide,¡± ording to his friends.

    Jeruzz loved it. It was a ¡°huge¡± two-bedroom model and waspletely refurbished and self-contained. All he had to do was have it delivered and the deuterium tank filled!

    It even recycled waste water! Technically you didn¡¯t even need a water source. A water tank was more than enough to keep this thing going almost indefinitely! It used a lot of energy, though. Most people dug a well and put in responsible drainage instead.

    For him, it was easy. An intake and outflow hose to the stream (plus rain collector) did the trick! The trailer took care of all the water treatment automatically. He wasn¡¯t sure exactly how it worked. All he knew was that the water tasted <em>amazing</em> and that he wasn¡¯t doing any harm to the environment (a HUGE no-no in the Republic) with his effluent. What he exhausted was clean enough to use for a fish pond or a garden, two things he was definitely considering.

    A built-in scanner switched on briefly, verifying his identity. Then, the door opened automatically, and the interior lights switched on.

    Jeruzz slithered down the handrail and went inside.

    He couldn¡¯t help but smile a little. It was refurbished but ¡°unfinished¡± when he got it (another bargain), but he had decorated the walls with intricate patterns from his homeworld and <em>filled</em> the inside with ¡°cat trees¡± and other wonderful furnishings that he got from various vendors online. He had even made a few pieces himself (back when he had a hand).

    A holoprojector switched on, disying the news and weather. It was the ultimate bargain, the result of a ¡°dumpster dive¡±. All it needed was a new plug, and it was as good as new! He still couldn¡¯t believe someone had just tossed it in the recycle bin.

    Jeruzz loved dumpster diving. It was one of the only reasons he would go into town (or the city). One day he was going to go on the ultimate dumpster dive and venture into the wastnds, but he would have to regrow his tongue first¡­

    ...and build up some vacation days.

    The thought was irresistible, though. The thought of entire towns, cities, and so much more just <em>sitting there</em> waiting to be explored was intoxicating!

    He looked at the kitchen and stopped smiling.

    He was so hungry!

    He was also <em>exhausted</em>. It had been a long day, and he was just too tired. Using his tail, he opened the fridge and surveyed the meager offering.

    ¡°Piztha rolls,¡± he muttered sadly, looking at half a dozen sad little lumps in a saucepan.

    Using his tail, he <em>carefully</em> reached for the handle of the pot, pulling it out of the fridge.

    It slipped, spilling the pizza rolls onto the floor.

    Sighing, he opened his mouth, trying to pick them up with his non-existent tongue.

    He sighed again.

    <em>Idiot! You are such an idiot!</em>

    He opened his mouth and picked one off of the kitchen floor. He winced with pain as he chewed it, trying to keep his damaged tongue away from the cold lump as much as possible.

    Swallowing both his shame and the cold morsel, he reached for the next one.

    ***

    He awoke hungry the next morning, the six pizza rolls doing little to stave off the near constant hunger that had haunted him ever since the ident.

    Every bite of food hurt, and what¡¯s worse, he only had his tail left with which he could prepare the painful food to begin with. He was getting better with his tail, but it was nowhere near good enough to do anything much moreplicated than open a drawer or push a mouse around.

    Back home, it would be unpleasant, but there would be people to help. There would be friends or family to help prepare food or even feed you if necessary.

    They <em>understood</em>. Damaged or even amputated tongues happened on the job. It was just ¡°one of those things¡±.

    He sighed.

    The humans wouldn¡¯t understand. He was bad enough of a screw-up as it was. Imagine if they found out that he was having problems feeding himself! The only reason he hadn¡¯t already been fired is that they felt sorry for him. It killed him to admit that, but it was the truth. What other reason would there be?

    If they found out that he was now incapable of something as basic as eating? That would be it. Even Gavin would finally have to admit how utterly hopeless he was.

    He crawled out of therge pet bed and electric nket in the corner and made his way into the kitchen, once one of his favorite ces in the whole trailer, now a constant source of frustration and shame.

    He opened the fridge.

    <em>Oh no!</em>

    He forgot to pull out some pizza rolls from the freezer to thaw! He looked helplessly at the frozen cardboard container. He couldn¡¯t heat them. They would be too painful to eat! He had been letting them thaw and just eating them cold. He didn¡¯t have time to heat them in the microwave and then let them cool to room temperature. He¡¯d bete for work!

    He looked through the shelves, pulled out a food bar, and started wrestling with the wrapper, grabbing it with his tail and tearing at it with his teeth.

    It was useless. It kept slipping.

    He beat it against the counter, ultimately throwing it against the wall in anguished frustration.

    Fighting back tears, he reached for some human cereal. It would fill his growling belly, but it wasn¡¯t <em>enough</em>. He needed <em>real food</em>, protein¡­

    ¡­ something <em>solid</em>.

    There was movement outside his window.

    He looked up from the cereal.

    It was Mr. Bunny!

    ¡°Hello, Misther Bunny,¡± he said as he pulled out a bowl with his tail.

    It fell to the floor.

    ¡°Drat!¡± he eximed in frustration as he started to reach down with his mouth to pick it up.

    Outside, the rabbit started hopping between the trees in his small front yard.

    <em>Hop hop hop...</em>

    He stopped mid-reach, his eyes fixing on the rabbit.

    <em>Hop hop, hop...</em>

    He needed something <em>solid</em>, some <em>real food</em>¡­

    <em>Hop¡­ nibble¡­ hop...</em>

    He stared at the rabbit and let out a low hiss.

    He needed <em>food</em>.

    <em>But I can¡¯t!</em> he told himself as his entire world shrank to the size of one rabbit hopping just outside. <em>Even if I could catch it, I can¡¯t clean it or cook it. I can¡¯t even cook pizza rolls.</em>

    <em>I don¡¯t have to cook it...</em>

    ¡°No!¡± Jeruzz eximed, wrenching his eyes away from the rabbit. You <em>had</em> to cook food. You couldn¡¯t just¡­ just¡­ It was a sin, all of them! It encouraged sloth and degeneracy! It was the definition of gluttony! It was a crime! Only <em>animals</em> would¡­ would...

    <em>Hop, hop, hop...</em>

    Jeruzz stared at the rabbit with increasingly frenzied eyes.

    <em>Hop, hop, hop...</em>

    ***

    ¡°There it is,¡± First Nations Ranger Aden Smith said as he pointed downward at a secluded old single-wide.

    ¡°Nice ce,¡± Ranger Kale Walker said as their grav car hovered about fifty meters above it.

    ¡°His scooter is still here,¡± Ranger Smith said, nodding towards an immacte Flying Swallow Bubble Scooter resting in its charging cradle.

    ¡°It mach rated?¡± his partner asked.

    ¡°Nah,¡± Ranger Smith said as he slid his helmet over his closely cropped raven ck hair.

    ¡°I wonder if he¡¯s going to fix it up?¡±

    ¡°Maybe after we make sure he¡¯s not dead, we can ask him,¡± Ranger Smith said with an eye roll. Kale was, above everything else, a ¡°thruster-head¡±.

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Ranger Kale chuckled as he put on his helmet.

    With a few eye flicks, he activated the discreetly armored Ranger grav vehicle¡¯s powerful scanners.

    ¡°Well, there¡¯s something alive in there,¡± Kale said. ¡°What is this guy supposed to be again?¡±

    ¡°A Keth,¡± Ranger Smith said as his helmet started disying Jeruzz¡¯s records on its HUD.

    ¡°Never met one of those,¡± Kale replied, ¡°And it¡¯s actually a First Nations member?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Ranger Smith replied, ¡°Cherokee.¡±

    ¡°How the hell did a Fed pull that off?¡±

    ¡°He works for Gavin Richardson,¡± Ranger Smith shrugged, ¡°And the Richardsons have a lot of pull.¡±

    ¡°Ever meet it?¡± Kale asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never met <em>him</em>,¡± Ranger Smith replied, ¡°I hear it¡­¡±

    Ranger Kale snickered.

    ¡°I hear <em>he</em>...¡± Ranger Smith said, correcting himself much to his partner¡¯s amusement, ¡°Looks just like a snake that <em>uses its tongue as a hand</em>. They say he¡¯s unbelievably nice, like <em>inhumanly</em> nice.¡±

    Ranger Smith extended the scan to the surrounding area.

    ¡°All I know is that he has a <em>lot</em> of people worried¡­ Looks like he¡¯s the only ¡®person¡¯ for five hundred meters¡­ Everything looks secure¡­ Let¡¯s go say hello.¡±

    Ranger Kale Walker winced beneath his helmet.

    ¡°I fucking <em>hate</em> welfare checks...¡± he said as he lightly tapped his sidearm, waking it, its status, ammunition and energy charge, and targeting reticle appearing on his HUD.

    ¡°...especially out here in the boonies. No telling what you are going to stumble into.¡±

    Their vehicle silently started tond a few meters away from the bubble scooter.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Ranger Smith replied as he tapped his pistol, ¡°At least this one is still alive. I <em>hate</em> finding corpses.¡±

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe we got sent out here just because someone skipped work,¡± Agent Walker said as the vehicle came to a stop and the doors opened.

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t like were doing anything,¡± Ranger Smith shrugged as they got out of their vehicle. ¡°They say for him to be thiste and not answer his phone is <em>very</em> wrong. It was eithere out here ourselves, or they were going to kick in the door for us.¡±

    ¡°So <em>we</em> get to get shot by the tweaker?¡± Ranger Walker snarked.

    ¡°Well, it <em>is</em> our job,¡± Ranger Smith said as they approached the door, ¡°and we have the fancy armor and all.¡±

    The pair fell silent as they approached the steps leading to the door.

    ¡°Mr. Jeruzz?¡± Ranger Smith said over a loudspeaker mounted in his helmet. ¡°Mr. Jeruzz, this is Ranger Smith of the First Nations Wilderness Service. We were sent to perform a welfare check. In case you are unaware, this means that we were sent to check on your well-being. You are under no suspicion of any offense, and we are non-hostile. We would like to speak with you. Please open the door.¡±

    The rangers waited a few moments.

    The life sign inside the trailer didn¡¯t move.

    ¡°Mr. Jeruzz,¡± Ranger Smith said firmly, ¡°we are concerned about your welfare. Pleasee to the door.¡±

    Nothing.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Ranger Walker muttered as he disengaged the catch to his sidearm.

    Ranger Smith nodded, disengaging his holster catch as well.

    ¡°Mr. Jeruzz,¡± Ranger Smith¡¯s voice rang out at an increased volume, ¡°We have announced our presence and identified ourselves. You have not responded nor undertaken any significant movement. We are now proceeding under the assumption that you are sick, injured, or otherwise immobile and need assistance. We are therefore treating this as an emergency and entering your residence in order to assist. We have no intention of detaining you or engaging in any hostile action at this time.¡±

    Ranger Smith carefully climbed the steps to the trailer and paused at the door as Ranger Walker remained several yards to the side with his hand on his sidearm. You never knew what to expect when you popped open a single-wide in the middle of the woods.

    Ranger Smith scanned the electronic lock, getting its serial number. Less than a secondter, he transmitted an override code causing the lock to cycle and the door to automatically open.

    ¡°What the hell?¡± he muttered as he walked inside, baffled by the strange symbols on the walls and the odd assortment of pet furniture scattered everywhere.

    ¡°Woah,¡± Ranger Walker said as he followed less than a secondter.

    ¡°Mr. Jeruzz?¡± Ranger Smith asked as he and his partner moved through the odd maze of bird perches and cat trees on their way to the bedroom.

    The life sign was still motionless underneath a heating nket.

    ¡°Mr. Jeruzz?¡± Ranger Smith asked as they entered the bedroom and approached arge dog bed covered with an electric nket.

    <em>Sssss?</em>

    ¡°Mr. Jeruzz,¡± Ranger Smith said as he carefully scanned the concealed being. There was nothing there except nket and snake¡­

    ¡±Hello?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m lifting the nket, Mr. Jeruzz,¡± Ranger Smith said as he carefully grabbed the fold the most distant from the xeno and gently pulled back the nket, revealing Jeruzz¡­

    ...with arge bulge in the middle of his body.

    ¡°What is that?¡± Ranger Walker asked as he pointed at the swelling.

    ¡°...Misssther Bunny...¡±

    ***

    A woman and a man, both dressed in scrubs, stepped into the ER waiting room, where they were immediately surrounded by a small mob.

    ¡°Is he going to be okay?¡± Gavin demanded.

    The woman removed her face shield and smiled.

    ¡°I am Doctor Wolf, Doctor of Veterinary Medicine, and this is Doctor Anders, people doctor,¡± she smiled.

    ¡°You¡¯re a vet?!?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have a xenologist on staff out here,¡± Doctor Anders said, ¡°Doctor Wolf is the only person in town with any sort of xenobiology certification. However, we have consulted with a xenologist regrly during our evaluation of Mr. Jeruzz and have sent all records and scans to them for additional analysis, pending establishing contact with Starshield, which isn¡¯t as easy these days.¡±

    ¡°To answer your question, though,¡± Dr. Wolf smiled, ¡°Jeruzz is going to be fine.¡±

    ¡°What happened to him?¡± Gavin asked with great concern.

    ¡°His biggest problem is malnutrition,¡± the woman smiled, ¡°Easy enough of a fix¡­ one that he already took into his own ¡®hands,¡¯ so to speak.¡±

    ¡°Malnutrition?¡± Gavin asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m just a vet,¡± she shrugged, ¡°but from what I can see, the poor thing was starving. The xenologist has reviewed everything, and they mostly agree. They don¡¯t have a whole lot of notes on the Keth either, but at least they are the ¡®experts¡¯.¡±

    ¡°He passed out from starvation?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh no,¡± the woman replied, ¡°He is showing the signs of early starvation, but that¡¯s not what knocked him out. Fixing that starvation is what has caused his current condition.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t follow.¡±

    ¡°He decided to do a bit of hunting,¡± the woman chuckled. ¡°It appears that Jeruzz stopped trying to survive on pizza rolls, food bars, and garbage like that and went for something a bit more substantial¡­ like an adult rabbit which he swallowed whole, just like one of our snakes.¡±

    She smiled at them.

    ¡°We believe him to be in some sort of ¡®digestive torpor¡¯ as a result. His vitals are stable but there is very little metabolic activity going on anywhere except in his digestive tract in the immediate vicinity of the rabbit. He isn¡¯t terribly responsive at the moment, but he was clearly able to return to his ir¡¯ before he started sleeping off a huge meal.¡±

    Gavin started to grumble and curse.

    <em>Jeruzz had lost his only hand!</em> Of course, he was starving. He couldn¡¯t feed himself¡­ And, <em>of course</em>, he wouldn¡¯t have told them he was having trouble¡­

    He would just smile and say that everything was okay while he starved to death. It made perfect sense if you knew the little idiot.

    ¡°Would you...¡± Gavin said as he took a deep breath, ¡°Would you tell that little green <em>idiot</em> to let us know when hees to, please?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± the vet replied with a smile.

    ***

    Jeruzz slowly awoke.

    What happened?

    He felt¡­

    He felt <em>amazing</em>! He was so¡­ <em>full</em>¡­

    ¡­ so satiated.

    He had <em>never</em> felt like this before. He felt¡­

    ...<emplete</em>¡­

    He poked his nose out from his electric nket¡­

    ...but it wasn¡¯t <em>his</em> nket!

    And this wasn¡¯t his room!

    Where was he!

    His head shot up in rm, his eyes reluctantly focusing on the wall across from him.

    There was arge poster.

    <em>You aren¡¯t getting fired, you dummy!</em>

    ¡°Eeep!¡± he eximed as he looked around at the room and all the strange equipment surrounding him.

    Was this a hospital?

    <em>OhMyGosh!</em> he thought in rm. <em>What happened?!?</em>

    He started trying to recall exactly what happened¡­

    ...and looked down at the much smaller bulge in his midsection.

    ¡°Oh no!¡± he squealed and hid under the nket.

    What had he done?

    ¡°So you are finally awake!¡± a cheerful voice said as the door to his room opened. ¡°Feeling better?¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± Jeruzz eximed from under the nket, ¡°Please don¡¯t tell anyone!¡±

    ¡°Tell anyone what?¡± the voice asked pleasantly.

    ¡°That I¡­ that I¡­¡±

    ¡°That you ate a rabbit?¡±

    Jeruzz moaned in dismay.

    ¡°It¡¯s a bitte for that, mighty hunter,¡± the voice chuckled.

    ¡°Oh no!¡± Jeruzz eximed, ¡°Does my boss know?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± the voice replied, ¡°he was your emergency point of contact, and you were unconscious. Based on theck of avable next of kin or any other arrangements we were able to discuss your case with him. If that is something you want to prevent in future, we can get that corrected before you leave.¡±

    Jeruzz made a squeaking noise as he burrowed deeper into the nket.

    ¡°For the record,¡± the friendly voice said, ¡°this isn¡¯t your homeworld, and nobody thinks any less of you for what you did. In fact, we all think it¡¯s pretty cool.¡±

    ¡°But I ate like an <em>animal</em>,¡± Jeruzz moaned.

    ¡°Yeah, we finally got in touch with Starshield and a very scandalized Keth physician,¡± the voice chuckled, ¡°we weren¡¯t able to get all of the social details out of him, but we got the sense that it¡¯s a bit of a taboo.¡±

    <em>¡°Does he know who I am!?!¡±</em>

    ¡°Nope,¡± the voice chirped, ¡°and there are enough Keth in the Republic for it to not be obvious which one of you it is¡­ Your little secret is safe. Nobody in the Federation knows that it was you that went hunting, and once we realized that it might be a big deal, we didn¡¯t share your charts, so they don¡¯t even have a scan. We really only needed him to confirm what we pretty much already knew, that you were in some sort of feeding-rted torpor and that you would likely recover once you were done, though he advocated some rather extreme measures in order to ¡®protect¡¯ you¡­ that we disregarded.¡±

    ¡°Why didnth you pump my sthomacth?!?¡±

    ¡°Because you were literally starving?¡± the voice replied, ¡°and most of the bullshit we hear from Fed¡¯ doctors¡¯ in these cases is just that¡­ bullshit. You turning into some sort of feral ¡®beast¡¯ just because you finally had a decent meal? Nonsense. We are <em>actual</em> physicians in the Republic, Mr. Jeruzz, and we are pretty sure your soul will be just fine.¡±

    ¡°Buth...¡±

    ¡°Do you <em>feel</em> like a feral beast?¡±

    ¡°No?¡±

    ¡°Then, there you go,¡± the voice replied, ¡°if this does somehow be an issue, I¡¯m sure we can handle it in a far better way than starving you and removing your fangs for good measure, like the (scoff) ¡®doctor¡¯ demanded. We have a xenologist and a sociologist looking at the, forck of a better word, ¡®information¡¯ that the Keth doctor provided, but we are disinclined to defer to, no offense, someone at their level of technology. Your medical sciences are¡­ forgive me¡­ a bit¡­ um...¡±

    ¡°Yesth,¡± Jeruzz said from under his nket, ¡°we are a bith backwardsth.¡±

    ¡°<em>If</em> this unleashes some sort of <em>beast</em>,¡± the voice said with mild disdain, ¡°I¡¯m sure we will be able to <em>properly</em> treat anyplications that arise.¡±

    ¡°You promiseth?¡±

    ¡°You have my word, Mr, Jeruzz,¡± the voice replied, ¡°Our medical system sessfully treats many species, often at a higher level of care than is possible even on their capital worlds. You are in good hands, Mr. Jeruzz.¡±

    ¡°Justh Jeruzz, pleaseth.¡±

    ¡°Okay, Jeruzz,¡± the voice said pleasantly, ¡°Now, would you pleasee out so I can examine you?¡±

    Jeruzz poked his head out from under the electric nket hesitantly and smiled.

    ***

    ¡°I promisth you that I¡¯m fine!¡± Jeruzz protested as Gavin pushed his wheelchair through the hospital.

    ¡°And you expect any of us to actually believe that?¡± Gavin smiled as he headed towards the exit. ¡°You are going home with Linda, and that¡¯s final.¡±

    ¡°Buth...¡±

    ¡°But nothing,¡± Gavin said firmly. ¡°You just spent three days in the hospital because you almost starved to death, dude. You are staying with Linda while you recover, and that¡¯s that.¡±

    Jeruzz twisted with humiliation.

    ¡°She has a couple of spare rooms, and there is always someone around over there. You aren¡¯t falling through the cracks again.¡±

    ¡°I couldn¡¯th dare imposeth!¡± Jeruzz said weakly.

    ¡°She insisted,¡± Gavin replied, ¡°And they already are cooking for what, eight people? One more won¡¯t even be noticed, especially when they eat as little as you do.¡±

    ¡°Buth¡­ I <em>can¡¯th</em>...¡±

    Gavin ignored him.

    ¡°Oh look!¡± he eximed, ¡°There they are!¡± as Linda and a small mob ranging from tiny to near adult entered the hospital.

    With a weak twisting wiggle and a muttered objection, Jeruzz was loaded into a long hover truck with an extended crew cab and flown off into the night.

    ***

    Staying with Linda and her family was¡­

    ¡­ <em>wonderful!</em>

    Jeruzz had almost forgotten about how lonely he was and how much he missed his little brothers and sisters!

    Linda¡¯s younger children certainly didn¡¯t <em>look</em> like ¡°normal children,¡± but they made every bit as much noise, which was great!¡­

    ...and the <em>food</em>¡­ Oh goodness!

    She had made ¡°pot roast¡± that evening and something called ¡°macaroni and cheese¡±.

    Jeruzz ate so much he actually started to get sleepy it was so good!

    He apologized for his gluttony, but Linda and her family justughed and said he still wasn¡¯t eating much at all.

    Compared to what he saw them eat, he supposed she was right.

    A bit fatigued as a result of everything (and an entirely too big of a meal) Jeruzz retired early for the night.

    As hey there under a pile of covers (they would get his bed and nket tomorrow) he sighed with contentment.

    Linda and her family were <em>so nice</em> and the ¡°pot roast¡±, veggies, and that amazing macaroni and cheese were <em>so good</em>¡­

    <em>Almost as good as Mister Bunny...</em>

    ***

    ¡°Jeruzz!¡± Linda called from the other side of the door. ¡°Jeruzz, it¡¯s time to get up!¡±

    ¡°Jeruzz?¡± Linda said as she knocked. ¡°Jeruzz, are you awake?¡±

    She opened the door to reveal an empty bed and an open window.

    ¡°Jeruzz!!!¡±

    ***

    Ranger Smith sighed and put away hismunicator as he saved his game and got up from hisfortable desk.

    Ranger Walker looked over at him.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±

    ¡°Search and rescue,¡± Ranger Smith grumbled. ¡°¡­ again.¡±

    ¡°Again?¡±

 Chapter 192: Of Frogs and Men

    Chapter 192: Of Frogs and Men

    Eno adjusted the dyna-brace now surrounding his abused knee and took some anti-inmmatories, a few mild painkillers, and a basic tissue elerator.

    He looked in the mirror and winced. Gloria had done a number on him. However, it was nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

    For example, his knee had definitely seen better days, but Gloria could have shattered it with no real effort. She had been quite surgical in her quite justified abuse.

    Even so, it would be a very ufortable week or so before everything was properly healed. He saw little need to dip into their limited stores of "good stuff" for minor injuries like these, especially since they weren''t going into action anytime soon (hopefully).

    Worstes to worst, he could always m a few auto-injectors if he needed to be at full speed. He reached for two and slipped them into his pocket, just in case.

    He looked at the door to his quarters dubiously. He was NOT looking forward to today.

    He opened the door and slunk into the hallway.

    <em>Snerk!</em>

    He flinched as he turned to see Jessie grinning at him.

    "Good morning Eno!" Jessie chirped," <em>Sleep well?"</em>

    Giggling, Jessie scampered away before he could respond.

    He reluctantly made his way into the galley.

    <em>Snerk!</em>

    Jacob and Greg were stiflingughter as he entered.

    "Morning!" Jacob eximed, grinning ear to ear.

    Eno just sighed and went to the cab to select some breakfast.

    "Sooooo..." Greg snickered as Eno walked over to the mini-cooker, "How was (<em>snerk</em>) your morning?"

    <em>" Nothing happened!"</em> Eno eximed as he withdrew his synthetic omelet.

    "What are you talking about?" Greg snickered, "I was just wishing you a good morning. Did something happen that I''m not aware of?"

    "Oh, <em>nothing</em> that you aren''t aware of," Eno grumbled as he poured himself a cup of real coffee and reluctantly sat down at a table.

    Jacob and Greg burst intoughter as Eno fidgeted with embarrassment.

    ***

    Shelorany on her bunk with the nkets over her head.

    <em>Oh, Prophet...</em> she silently moaned.

    Somebody knocked on her door.

    <em>There is no escape from this,</em> she thought to herself as she reluctantly crawled out of her bed and opened the door.

    "Good morning!" Gloria grinned.

    " morning..."

    "I just wanted to check on you after all of the bullshit that went down yesterday," Gloria said, her eyes big with concern¡­

    ¡­she then leaned in close, the eyes sparkling mischievously.

    "Did you <em>sleep</em> ok?" she grinned wolfishly.

    Sheloran just sighed.

    "We didn''t..." she stammered, "¡­ <em>do it</em>. It''s not even possible!"

    "Oh, I know," Gloria grinned, "I just wanted to beat everyone to the punch!"

    <em>" You know?!?"</em> Sheloran gasped.

    "Bunny filled everybody in at the morning meeting," Gloria replied. "She''s normally really good about keeping what goes on in the cabins to herself, but she decided to back Eno up when he insisted that you ''just slept'' together."

    Sheloran just groaned as her face "blushed" bright green.

    "It''s pretty impressive, isn''t it?" Gloriaughed.

    <em>" You''ve seen it?!?"</em>

    "Froggy," Gloria snickered, "We''ve been a team for a few years now. Everybody''s pretty much seen everybody at least once. I''ve never seen it hard, though. I hear it''s <em>huge</em>. How big is it?"

    "I''m not answering that," Sheloran said firmly. "You want to know, get it ''that way'' yourself."

    Gloria burst intoughter.

    "I''m starting to like you," Gloria smiled. "You had breakfast yet?"

    Sheloran shook her head.

    ***

    Mark Guilderan, the Terran Secretary of State, looked at his monitor in disbelief.

    It turned out that they didn''t have the th after all.

    She escaped. She escaped Tartarus!

    He reviewed the other notes concerning the mysterious little amphibioid.

    "Well, that exins the Kalent''s interest in her," he quietly said to nobody in particr.

    What did they know about her, about the th? More importantly, what did they not want the Republic to know?

    He pulled up thetest reports concerning the Kalent''s movements after they had left his office.

    He smirked.

    They had met with Sheloran the th''swyer, another Kalent. Odds are, whatever was talking through that little box made thewyer tell them everything that he knew, and that probably included the fact that Sheloran was in the wind.

    It would exin why they had only returned to speak with him now, well after the point they said that they would return.

    However, they returned <em>without</em> the Federation ambassador. That was interesting.

    He rose from his desk and headed for the door.

    ***

    "Sorry for the wait," Mark said as he entered the room where the Kalent were waiting.

    It was empty, save for an ornate cube sitting on the coffee table.

    "Think nothing of it," the cube replied pleasantly. "I was just taking care of some reports myself."

    "This is an unusual meeting," Mark smiled as he sat next to the cube.

    "I dismissed my attendants," the cube said simply. "We will likely discuss things they are not allowed to know."

    "Allowed?"

    "You do the same thing, no?" the cube replied, "I believe you call it ''clearance''? They are not ''cleared'' to hear what you will foolishly insist on knowing."

    "Well, I am a dumbass," Mark said ruefully, "I certainly can''t deny that these days."

    He <em>was</em> a dumbass, a huge one, and was going to answer for it. "Momma" Augustine had been very clear about that.

    He cleared his head. What will be will be. Right now, he had a Kalent boom box sitting on the coffee table and some real possible gains for the Republic, a republic that he did, despite his recent actions, care about a great deal.

    <em>Might as well end my career on a high note,</em> he thought.

    "So," he said after a few seconds of silence, "Sheloran."

    "Yes," the cube replied, "Sheloran."

    "We don''t have her," Mark said pleasantly. "She escaped."

    "I''m surprised you would admit that so easily," the cube replied.

    "I''m not one for wasting time these days," Mark replied, "The sooner I take care of this bullshit, the sooner I can go home to my wife, which is all I really care about now."

    The cube made a surprised alien chortle.

    "Besides," Mark said politely, "I won''t insult your intelligence by pretending that you don''t already know that."

    "You are correct," the cube replied, "I am aware that Sheloran is free and in thepany of Shelia Donovan''s party of rogues, not an ideal situation for either of us¡­ or the gxy as a whole for that matter."

    "Shelia fucking Donovan..." Mark muttered, "Of course. We were pretty sure that''s where she wound up, but herwyer confirmed it?"

    "He did," the cube replied. "He was very forting. I have a question. Why didn''t you simply pressure him for information yourself?"

    "We have a thing about attorney-client privilege," Mark said in a matter-of-fact tone, "and her legal case has been mishandled from the beginning. Thest thing we wanted to do was make things worse, especially since things have gotten so public and so messy."

    Mark smirked.

    "And I''m not talking about just Sheloran''s legal woes. This situation has gotten very delicate."

    "Are you talking about Project Cerberus?" the cube inquired pleasantly.

    "I am <em>definitely</em> NOT talking about Project Cerberus!" Mark snorted, "Good GOD, no!¡­ Ahem¡­¡±

    Mark took a deep breath.

    "I will neither confirm nor deny the existence of Project Cerberus nor any other ''ck project''," Mark said in a sing-song voice.

    The cubeughed.

    ¡°But¡­ yeah¡­¡± Markughed ruefully, "Let''s just say that¡­ Nah, let''s not even say that."

    "Probably wisest," the cube snickered.

    "Besides," Mark shrugged, "we could simply trace him and see what he did or said. No need to get rough. Speaking of rough," Mark added, "I have NO idea who it was that paid him a visitst night, and trust me, there is more than one person who would love to find out."

    "Is Baxlon harmed?" the cube asked with a surprising amount of concern.

    "Nah," Mark chuckled, "He spent the night hiding in the corner of his tank clutching some sort of energy weapon in his mouth but only has minor bumps and scrapes. We don''t know exactly what was said or done, but he''s uninjured and suddenly <em>very</em> interested in reestablishing contact with Sheloran."

    "Now that <em>is</em> interesting," the cube said. "He expressed the exact opposite desire quite recently."

    "He even dropped her as a client..." Mark shrugged, "for precisely fifteen minutes before negotiating a sweet immunity deal for some of Sheloran''s more notable transgressions post-escape."

    Mark chuckled.

    "She is pretty much free and clear," he said, "provided that she doesn''t do something else."

    "What about the initial homicides?"

    "The Harkeen are ssified as raiders now," Mark replied with a shrug, "The only thing a judge or jury will do now is buy her a drink. The only reason the case hasn''t been officially dropped is that if we do, we would have to exin where she is¡­ or, more precisely, isn''t¡­ We would also like to have a little sit down with her while we have some shred of leverage. We have just a few questions for her."

    "If your questions concern any unusual technology or inexplicable abilities," the cube said, "I strongly advise not pursuing them. She probably can''t exin it to your satisfaction¡­ and that''s the best result."

    "And the worst?"

    "That she <em>can</em>," the cubeughed, "Listen, if your people conveniently forget what you''ve stumbled upon and allow us to¡­ repatriate... Sheloran, we will provide technology that you can actually understand and use safely, things that we should have already released to you and the Empire to aid in your defense against the Collective. I have some very interesting data that I can give you immediately upon Sheloran''s repatriation, and that is just the beginning."

    "By ''repatriation,'' you mean..."

    "Just that," the cube replied, "we will provide her a way that she can return <em>voluntarily</em> to the Federation, where we will host her in our home system. She will live out her days in the height offort, ease, and most importantly, peace and safety."

    "Sure," Mark said dubiously.

    "Oh, absolutely," the cube replied, "because we <em>know</em> what we are dealing with. Well, in all honesty, we don''t absolutely <em>know</em> what we are dealing with, but we know enough to ''know'' not to mess with her. She will be given a little farm exactly like one she would have on her homeworld, along with any nts she wants, and will be allowed to return to a peaceful quiet existence. We won''t be trying to glean any ''secrets'' from her. In fact, we will do everything in our power to ensure that whatever has awakened within her goes right back to sleep. We are reasonably sure that the offer will be very attractive to her."

    "And if she refuses?"

    "Then she''s <em>your</em> problem!" the cube eximed with an alien chortle. "Try to take a feral th against their will? Are you insane?..."

    The cube chortled again.

    "You are a human, so that question has been unresolved for a long time," itughed, "The important fact is that <em>we</em> are not! If Sheloran doesn''t want toe with us, we won''t make her or take any action against her. We are not keen to incur even a single feral th''s wrath, or worse, y a part in awakening it fully. Just one th is all it takes."

    "Ok," Mark said as he got up and poured himself a cup of tea," <em>What</em> is the deal with these th anyway?"

    "I assumed you would insist on knowing more than is wise," the cube replied, "that is why I sent my attendants away."

    "And what, <em>exactly</em>, are you?" Mark asked, "Don''t insult my intelligence and say that you are a Kalent."

    The cube started to glow, and above it floated a nightmarish serpentine creature with massive jaws and fangs, a glowing antenna, and ghostly white in color, with a long scar running along its side.

    "Daaaaaaamnnn," Mark said after a few moments, "Well, that exins why the little shits bow."

    "Forgive me," the abyssal lord said, "I cannot project myself at full size within the confines of this room."

    "That''s¡­ ok."

    "Technically," the abyssal lord said, "I am ''Kalent'', but the Kalent is the name of our people, our culture, and not a specific species. There are more than one sapient species on our homeworld. The Kalent you know are simply the only ones that choose to show themselves. The rest of us prefer to remain out of sight."

    "Amazing," Mark said quietly, his woes momentarily forgotten.

    "I would appreciate it if you treated this and anything else I share with you at this point in the greatest confidence," the ancient fish said, its single antenna pulsing with blue light.

    "Rest assured that we will treat your confidence with great care," Mark replied diplomatically. "Forgive me, but do you reside in the deep ocean?"

    "Yes," the abyssal lord replied, "pretty much at the bottom."

    "Fascinating!" Mark eximed, "And you formed a rtionship with other species that lived in shallower water?"

    "Over time," the ancient benthic terror replied, "yes, we did. We were aware of them for quite some time before we reached out. It''s a rather long story, as is our history in general."

    "And your species are their rulers?"

    The fish let out a sigh.

    "They seem to believe that to be the case," it replied. "After a while, we just stopped arguing about it. That is not what I am here to discuss, though."

    "Oh, right," Mark said as he collected himself, "Sorry. I still get a kick out of learning about new species even after all this time."

    "Then you will learn about the th," the abyssal lord said with an odd gleam in its eyes.

    ***

    "Thanks, Gloria," Sheloran said as a bowl of hexagonal cereal was set before her, along with a brown paper bag.

    Gloria sat beside her with her own bowl and a carton of poly-milk.

    "Martian breakfast of champions right here!" Gloria said happily as she took the paper bag and poured a generous helping of mealworms and other assorted insects over their cereal.

    "Ooo!" Sheloran said excitedly.

    "The Crispb is nutritionallyplete, at least for us, and the frosted mealmix makes it good," Gloria said as she poured the poly-milk over the unholy mixture. "Dig in."

    Sheloran put a spoon in her mouth and gasped, her eyes gleaming.

    "This is <em>good!"</em>

    "Told ya," Gloria replied happily as she tucked into her bowl.

    "I''ve never had insects like these!" Sheloran said with delight.

    "Another Martian specialty," Gloria said proudly. "We eat a <em>lot</em> of bugs as opposed to the rest of the Terrans and have been doing it for a lot longer. We''ve gotten rather good at it."

    "Why?" Sheloran said as she munched away happily.

    "When we threw off the yoke of Terra, they were not happy," Gloria replied, "After the shooting stopped, they broke off all trade and blockaded us for <em>years</em> expecting they could just starve us out. Thing is, we fully expected them to do that and had built up all the agricultural capacity we needed to be self-sufficient <em>before</em> we told them to go and fuck themselves."

    She opened up a small poly bottle of orange juice.

    "nts were easy enough," Gloria continued, "we dug out massive underground greenhouses, and every spare square foot we could grab was turned into gardens."

    "Really?"

    "Yep," Gloria replied proudly, "All of the habs are still like that. Everywhere you turn, there''s something growing."

    "Sounds wonderful!"

    "It is," Gloria smiled wistfully, "It really is. Anyway, nts were <em>easy.</em> Livestock was not. Meat is terribly expensive when ites to space and resources, two things that Mars never has enough of. Bugs, however, are not expensive to produce. For years, things like mealworms, crickets, grasshoppers, ants, termites, grubs, and stuff like that were the only "meat" we could get. Even after rtions were restored with the rest of the sr system, we still ate our creepy crawlies. For one thing, you couldn''t beat the price. A bag of bugs was about the same price as a bag of anything else. Meat, even the cheap shit, isn''t cheap. Of course, after the Sol Wars, all Terrans eat bugs, but we do it best¡­ like we do everything else, for that matter."

    Gloria elbowed Sheloran gently.

    "Y''know," she said, "gardens and bugs¡­ You''d fit in pretty well on Mars. On the outside chance this all works out, I could hook you up. It''s nearly impossible for an outsider to get into one of the habs, but I might know a few people."

    "Why is it hard for outsiders?" Sheloran asked.

    "There is an old Terran saying," Gloria replied, "''There is no such thing as a free lunch.'' On Mars, it counts triple. Not only is there not a free lunch, but also no free water or air. ''Rent'' can get really high really quick. If you aren''t <em>rich</em>, the only way to be able to live on Mars is to be employed by the Consortium. If you work for them, then your water and life support are covered, and your housing allotment covers basic amodation but good luck getting on with them. You pretty much have to be born into it. It''s a great deal if you can get it, though."

    "What happens if someone can''t pay?"

    "Then they are loaded onto a ship and dumped on Terra," Gloria replied. "The Consortium usually forgives any debts when they evict someone, though. Not worth the hassle."

    "So, not a lot of xenos then?"

    "Not many," Gloria said with a shrug, "There are a few well-heeled fugitives hiding out in the habs, and now we are starting to see more and more Z''uush showing up. Some of the miningpanies that hired them are Consortium outfits, so their families are starting to show up in the habs from what I hear."

    "Huh," Sheloran said as she munched away.

    "Hey," Gloria said as she sipped her <em>real</em> orange juice, a pricey luxury. "I just gotta know. When you said that it was <em>impossible</em> for you and Eno to do it, what did you mean?"

    Sheloran snorted.

    "Just what I said," Sheloran replied, "We don''t do¡­ it¡­ the same way you humans do."

    "How do you do it then?" Gloria asked curiously.

    "We''re eggyers," Sheloran said as she sipped some of the poly-milk from her bowl, "The woman makes an egg, and then the man fertilizes it."

    "Sounds like what we do," Gloria chuckled.

    "He fertilizes it <em>after</em> it''s beenid," Sheloran replied.

    "Well, that sounds like no fun at all," Gloria snarked.

    "Oh, it''s <em>wonderful</em>," Sheloran sighed. "And it takes ce over <em>days</em>, not just a few seconds like you <em>grunt-humpers."</em>

    Gloria snorted.

    "Grunt-humpers!" Gloria eximed with delight. "I love it!"

    "I made it up myself," Sheloran grinned. "Based upon my idental observations."

    "Well, I''m stealing it!" Gloria chortled.

    ¡°Feel free¡­ grunt-humper,¡± Sheloran snerked.

    "HA!" Gloriaughed, "So¡­ how do you little freaky frogs get your freak on?"

    "Well," Sheloran sighed wistfully, "when a th couple gets¡­ close¡­ and start ''spending time together''..."

    <em>" Spending time</em>, huh?" Gloria grinned, "what exactly does that entail?"

    "¡­ stuff..." Sheloran said evasively. ¡°They will do¡­ stuff¡­ together¡­ you know¡­ <em>making out</em>..."

    "Details, woman!" Gloria eximed.

    Sheloran blushed.

    "um¡­ we kiss..." Sheloran said.

    "And?"

    "We¡­ um¡­ touch each other in¡­ ces..."

    "Like your <em>gills?"</em>

    Sheloran flushed almost teal.

    "I''m NOT getting into this with you!" Sheloran eximed as she fidgeted. ¡°Anyway, if a couple do enough¡­ stuff¡­ and¡­ um¡­ get <em>excited</em> enough¡­ The woman starts to make an egg, and the man starts to make a sperm¡­ It''s <em>really romantic!"</em>

    "If you say so..."

    <em>" It IS!"</em> Sheloran eximed, still a bit teal. "You both get really sick and¡ª"

    "Ooo! Sexy!"

    ¡°Oh be quiet, grunt-humper!¡± Sheloran snapped, "You both get really ''sick'' as your bodies make the egg and the sperm, and you lie up together and cuddle and kiss and feed and take care of each other¡­ and it feels really good!"

    Sheloran sighed again.

    "It''s <em>wonderful</em>¡­"

    She looked down.

    "Or so they say..."

    <em>" Or so they say?"</em> Gloria asked with a wolfish grin, "You mean <em>you don''t know?"</em>

    Sheloran crossed her arms and looked down in a nearly universal expression of difort.

    "¡­ no..."

    "Oh my God!" Gloria eximed, "You''re a <em>virgin?!?"</em>

    "We don''t just run around grunting and humping anything with a pulse like you animals!" Sheloran huffed. "And I have been on a couple of dates."

    "Did ''ya <em>do it?"</em> Gloria grinned.

    "I''ve done¡­ stuff..." Sheloran said defensively. "I mean¡­ I''ve made out¡­ a little¡­ kinda..."

    "Mmm hmm..."

    <em>" I have!"</em> Sheloran eximed in a way that dispelled any doubt that she was, in all practical ways, as pure as the driven snow and not by choice.

    She looked down.

    " It''s not my fault that I''m ugly..."

    Gloria winced. She loved being a bitch but only when she intended to be.

    "Hey!" Gloria said, nudging Sheloran''s shoulder. "You aren''t ugly."

    "How would you know?" Sheloran asked glumly. "¡­ Thanks for the breakfast, Gloria. It was really tasty."

    She got up and walked out of the galley, leaving her meal half-eaten.

    "Smooth, Gloria," Bunny snarked over the speaker, "Really smooth."

    "Shut up," Gloria grumbled.

    "Do you have ANY idea how badly I wanted to hear about the th reproductive cycle?" Bunny said with a very annoyed tone of voice. "We have absolutely NO idea how it works!"

    "What do you mean?" Gloria replied.

    "Some friends and I have been chewing on her scans ever since we got them," Bunny answered, "and they make absolutely NO sense. I mean, out of all of the <em>freaks</em> out there in the gxy, the th are the freakiest. It''s like they aren''t even real or something."

    "What?"

    "Based on what we know about biology, xenology, or whatever else you want to bring into it," Bunny said, "there is pretty much no way that a th just ''happened''."

    "Well, they clearly did," Gloria said as she started eating Sheloran''s cereal (no sense letting it go to waste).

    "Oh, they exist, alright," Bunny replied, "But they didn''t ''happen'', not like you meatbags. They are too ''well made'' to be an ident, and don''t even get me started on data density."

    "Data density?"

    "Yeah," Bunny said, "you know your genome, what makes a human a human?"

    "Not by heart," Gloria snarked.

    "Do you know how ''big'' it is?"

    "Nope."

    "The weight of the human genome is around six point five picograms. Your mitochondria''s genome is almost negligible at around zero point zero two femtograms for one mitochondrion. You have a bit of cytosmic inheritance floating around as well, but even the entire human ovum is less than five-thousandths of a milligram for the entire egg, the vast majority of which is not ''data'' so to speak."

    "Wow," Gloria said, "that''s it?"

    "Yep," Bunny said, "you meaties aren''t much at all, and a lot of that data is garbage code, stuff you don''t even use. Do you have any idea how much ''DNA'' Sheloran is packing?"

    "I guess more than us?"

    "Over <em>four kilograms,"</em> Bunny replied. "Over four kilograms of nonrepeating encoded data spread across several ''nds'' and that ''DNA''¡­ It''s¡­ amazing. It is much better than those little spaghetti shoces you call genes. It is much morepact and much more stable. It''s¡­ better¡­ than our best drives¡­ maybe¡­ we don''t know for sure¡­ It''s a truly stupid amount of information and could quite easily exin how she ''knows'' what she does. Who knows how much raw data is inside her or what it is."

    "That''s insane!" Gloria eximed.

    "You don''t know the <em>half</em> of it," Bunny said.

    "What do you mean?" Gloria asked dubiously.

    ***

    "The th are <em>how old?!?"</em> Mark Guilderan spluttered.

    "The Kalent civilization is well over two million years old," the abyssal lord said calmly, "My particr species has records that stretch further still. My particr race has had civilization and recorded history for well over five million¡­ maybe¡­ our ounting of time was murky back in the day, but based on the lineages, five million years is a very conservative estimate."

    The ancient fish looked into Mark''s eyes.

    "The th visited our people several times across our ancient history," the coiling fish said evenly, "and they were old even then. They were sailing the stars back when my race''s greatest achievement was making board games. They are <em>ancient</em>, from a time best forgotten."

    "What do you mean?" Mark asked.

    "Do you think this is the <em>first</em> interster civilization," the abyssal lord asked, "or the <em>second</em>?"

    "I take it the answer is no?"

    "Correct," the abyssal lord replied. "There have been at least two before us. There are very few survivors of the second great civilization. Out of them, only the Tolo and the Ykeen have any contact with the greater gxy. Most have either walled off their systems or simply disappeared."

    "And the th?" Mark asked.

    "We aren''t entirely sure," the abyssal lord replied, "but if what little we do know is urate, they <em>may</em> be the only surviving member of the <em>first</em> gctic empire. Well, technically, we Kalent are as well, but our civilization was not technological, and we simply lived quiet piscine lives back then, blissfully removed from the events of those terrible days."

    "Terrible?"

    "Oh, yes," the ancient creature replied, "Do you think we were the ones who invented war? From what little we know, wars on a scale we can''t even imagine raged across the <em>entire</em> gxy for tens of thousands of years, resulting in the only gxy-wide empire ever recorded¡­ maybe."

    "That''s a big maybe."

    "What little remains of those days is very fragmented, and there isn''t a handy trantion guide. We have recovered a few gctic maps that show what we believe to be inhabited systems across the entire spiral, as well as boundaries and battle lines. Again, a lot of this is myth, legend, conjecture, and most likely ancient propaganda as well, but the implications are quitepelling, don''t you agree?"

    "And you believe the <em>th</em> to be a part of all that?"

    "A veryrge part, actually," the ancient terror replied with a flicker of his single antenna. "They <em>chose</em> to be simple farmers, Mr. Guilderan. What they were <em>built</em> for was something else entirely."

    "And what was that?"

    "We believe that there is a high probability that the simple th were used as the warriors and enforcers of the species that ultimately won, or at least as one of their warrior races. They bear entirely too great a simrity to figures that show up on cave walls, obelisks, y tablets, and the like across most archaeological sites."

    "y tablets?" Mark asked with a raised eyebrow, "Cave walls?... <em>Obelisks</em>?"

    "Yes."

    "I thought this was some super advanced gctic civilization."

    "It was," the fish replied, "and in the end, the only thing that <em>survived</em> were scratchings in the dirt and not many of those. That first civilization was utterly destroyed. Nothing remains of a species that once spanned the entire gxy¡­ well¡­ as far as we know, anyway. Every trace of them was <em>erased</em>. No technology survived. In fact, we don''t even know what they looked like."

    "How could something like that happen?" Mark asked, "Surely <em>something</em> must have survived."

    "A great many races have looked for a very long time, Mark," the fish replied, "and <em>nothing</em> has ever been found. All we have is data that was inscribed on basic materials using the lowest technology possible, and all of that was by other species who lived during those times, not the Progenitors or their servitors. After the copse of the Progenitors, interster civilization imploded as their servants, very advanced elder races in their own right, warred among themselves, each trying to rece their masters. Total war raged once again, and the gxy burned, quite literally, in some areas. What little that might have survived whatever it was that happened certainly did not survive what followed. From what we can gather, it was your ''Sol Wars'' on a gctic scale."

    "And the th were a part of that, too?"

    "From what we gather, they were the ones who eventually won but soon fell to whatever imed their masters, perhaps as a result of whatever they had to do in order to prevail. For whatever reason, once the th disappeared, that first empire truly ended, and the Gxy entered a dark age."

    The ancient terror looked deeply into Mark''s eyes, causing him to suppress a shudder.

    "Your people have the concept of a ''Great Filter'', correct?"

    "Yeah," Mark replied.

    "ording to what we have recovered, including ounts from those who spoke to the ancient th of that era, there is still one left, one that nobody has survived intact. There is a line or lines that must not be crossed, else it spells utter destruction for whatever culture is foolish enough to overstep."

    "Do we know what it is?"

    "Not exactly," the abyssal lord replied, "However, the ancient th and others like them did leave behind warnings. One surviving elder race, The Veiled Ones, spent a great deal of time with a small enve of ancient ''koth'' who imed to have been waiting for them. Among other information, details of ''the line that must not be crossed'' wasmunicated."

    "And what is that line?"

    <em>"Oh, no!"</em> the ancient fishughed, "the absolute <emst</em> thing I am going to do is tell a human not to fuck with something. That''s the best way I know of to ensure that it is disturbed! We weren''t even going to warn you about the th girl except that disturbing things are starting to happen that we wish to nip in the bud. Don''t worry. If you start to approach a line, we will reach out. Until then, we believe it safest not to give you assholes any hints."

    "Is this why you fuckers are so tight with your tech?" Mark asked.

    "Part of the reason, yes," the abyssal lord chuckled, "The rest of the reason is exactly what you all im it to be. We like having an advantage over creatures as dangerous as you. However, as much as we enjoy our advantage, our suppression of technology past a certain point is motivated by keeping those around us from even getting close to triggering that Great Filter. If what little we have salvaged is correct, the consequences don''t necessarily limit themselves to the offending race. You don''t want to be anywhere near whatever it is that actually happens. <em>Entire sr systems disappeared without a trace."</em>

    "Interesting," Mark mused. "I have a question. If Sheloran is as dangerous as you make her out to be, and you want to ''nip this in the bud'', why not just have her killed? I know you have your own covert operations group. Even if you didn''t, you have the cash to just pay any of a million humans who would happily do the job."

    "A very human solution," the old abyssal lord replied, "And one that would make a lot of sense save for two very important facts. The first fact is that we would have to be <em>absolutely</em> sure that we would <em>actually seed</em> before we made the attempt. If she is truly ''reverting,'' then her exact abilities are unknown, and a failed assassination attempt would only make the situation far, far worse. I trust you have seen the footage of her in action?"

    Mark smirked.

    "That <em>might</em> not be the limit of her ability. There are also certain¡­ additional factors¡­ that coulde into y when ites to arranging for her demise, things that defy simple logic and nning. The second and perhaps greatest reason deals with those¡­ intangibles..."

    "Say what now?"

    "Are you a religious man, Mark?"

    "What does that have anything to do with anything?"

    The ancient lord smirked.

    "I''m about to tell you a little story," the old fish said with a glowing pulse of his antenna, "I request that you withholdment or judgment until it isplete."

 Chapter 193: Tempting Fate and Deciding It

    Chapter 193: Tempting Fate and Deciding It

    "And thus the th, unable to avoid their ultimate fate, chose to forestall it indefinitely," the Abyssal Lord said to Mark Guilderan, the Terran Secretary of State. "They chose to cast aside all of the technology and culture of their creators and regress to a pre-technological state in order to ''disappear'' from the universe. This decision triggered civil war within their ranks, but ultimately the forces of the individual now deified as ''The Great Prophet'' prevailed, and the entire species regressed but not before ''terraforming'' an entire sr system to suit their needs. They created what you call ''The Garden of Eden'' for their descendants, a ce where a true technology-free society could flourish and has for untold amounts of time."

    The Abyssal Lord paused and looked at Mark.

    "As part of the ''cleansing'' that preceded their regression," the old fish continued, "Theypletely wiped out any traces of the Progenitor''s empire they found¡­ Including the other servitor species. Each was given the choice of purifying themselves and returning to their ''natural'' state or be ''cleansed''. We aren''t sure of the specifics, but after the ''cleansing,'' no trace of the Progenitor''s technology, culture, or science remained. Anything that did survive the ''Great Filter'' certainly did not survive the upheaval that followed."

    "Goddamn..." Mark muttered. "One question, how do you know any of this?"

    "While all th that survived their civil war and ''purification'' agreed with the overall principle of regression, many could not bear to abandon their living ships, great ''creatures'' that they used to sail the void and were their only true ''home'' for most of their existence. They could strip themselves to nakedness, but they could not abandon or kill their beloved ships. In an agreement with one of the major factions of the fractured th, they would not be required to do so. They could take the ships and do one final patrol of the gxy to ensure that nothing remained and then consign themselves to the ''timeless and pure void''. What exactly that means is unknown, but the process would allow their ships to live out their natural lifespans filled with beings that cared for and loved them. We believe that the ships were prevented from reproducing and that their crews epted that they would die alongside them, but again, we are not entirely sure. The th that made contact with one of the Elder races did not exin further. That''s how we know all of this. Thest of the ancient th told The Veiled Ones directly¡­ along with other things..."

    "I thought you and The Veiled Ones hated each other."

    The ancient Abyssal Lord sighed heavily.

    "We do¡­ now," the fish said sadly, "but that was not always the case. We once viewed each other with great regard and affection. Some of us still hold them in high regard and pray that one day we can put our differences aside."

    "So what went down between you guys, anyway?"

    "I see no harm in telling you," the Abyssal Lord replied, "It was, to borrow a Terran phrase, that ''goddamn'' Federation."

    Mark smiled. He wasn''t an expert in piscine bodynguage, but you didn''t have to be. His new ''friend'' did not like the Feds either¡­

    ¡­interesting¡­

    "Yeah, those fuckers can, to borrow another of our phrases, ''fuck up a wet dream,'' can''t they?" Mark chuckled.

    The Abyssal Lord paused, his attention directed to something off screen.

    Heughed a strange alienugh.

    "Yes, they can definitely curdle a spawn," heughed. "Well put. Some of us were against the whole idea from the start but decided not to fracture the consensus. Some of us may have regretted itter as well. In any event, it became clear to The Veiled Ones that the Federation was too ''undisciplined'' andcked ''focus''. They felt that ''firm guidance'' was required, namely taking control of the Federation and imposing their ''opinions'' upon the entire Federation asw enforced by the might of the elder race''s fleets and technology. The charter members were divided, some agreeing with The Veiled Ones and others siding with the Sundrinkers saying that the ''experiment'' just needed more time and that tyranny was tyranny regardless of intent."

    "The Sundrinkers?"

    "The species that most know as the Kalent," the ancient terror replied, "They were quite ''invested'' in the Federation concept and we, much to ourter regret, backed them. We felt that the real reason The Veiled Ones wished to subjugate the Federation was to use them as an industrial base, ves, and cannon fodder against their ancient enemy, the group you now know as the Collective. Perhaps that was the case. Perhaps what motivated The Veiled Ones was simple hate and a desire for revenge. Perhaps they were the only ones who truly knew the threat the Collective represented. In any event, the situation became very strained and nearly broke out into a war between the elder races involved when The Veiled Ones started to take matters into their own hands and take the Federation by force."

    The Abyssal Lord looked downward.

    "And that''s when ''we'' made a terrible mistake," he sighed, "because we had been so close for so long, we knew each other''s secrets and vulnerabilities. We betrayed their trust and forced them to withdraw, forever losing their friendship and support. They withdrew to their home system, turning their back on both us and the Federation. We sacrificed a true ally over¡­ nothing, worse than nothing. History has proven their point beyond a shadow of a doubt, both where the Federation and the Collective are concerned."

    Mark nodded quietly. He knew when to remain silent, despite several million questions.

    "Now, the Federation teeters on the brink of copse," the old fish said with bared fangs, "Between corruption, the humans, and that ''goddamn'' Karashel, its chances aren''t very good. As bad as The Veiled Ones might have been, I am certain it would be a gentle caresspared to the embrace of the Forsaken, the Communalist Party, or the Collective."

    "The Communalist Party?" Mark asked as his monitor helpfully started disying thetest info.

    Heughed.

    "Oh, you <em>have</em> to be kidding me!" he eximed. "Yeah, that''s not good."

    "They are wearing hammers and sickles and everything," the abyssal lord smirked. "but we are firmly convinced that there is more to the game that Bale is ying. This might be the one case where it smells like an eel, wiggles like an eel, but is definitely NOT an eel. We also have fairly reliable information that Karashel and Jessica Morgan are in some form of contact. They may not be allies, but they are definitely coordinating their activities on some level, not that it can be proven."

    "Then you have a very real problem," Mark replied. "I don''t know this Karashel character, but I know Jessica Morgan and her Confederacy all too well. Do you think what we did to them during the Federation War was just revenge? No. We wanted to neutralize them as a <em>threat</em>. We took the opportunity to reduce their effectiveness as a fighting force. You''re wee, by the way."

    "Do you have any rmendations?" the Abyssal Lord asked with interest.

    "Yeah," Mark replied, "Whatever you do, do NOT go to the Raylesh System. If she is wiggling her withered ass the way she is doing, she is sitting on one big fucking hook. We have no idea what that hook might be, but I would bet the entire Republic that it''s there and that it''s <em>sharp</em>. Don''t fall for it. What happenedst time you guys tried to take Raylesh will be <em>nothing</em>pared to what will happen if you go for round two. Let them have the system, at least for now."

    "That is our assessment as well," the old fish replied, "Anything else?"

    "Yeah. You aren''t going to like this but negotiate a peace yesterday," Mark said like he was chewing on a turd, "I love to see you guys killing each other. It really warms my heart, but you guys are not equipped to go up against them. Unless you are willing tomit genocide, there is no winning y. They are doing <em>exactly</em> what we did to you a couple of years ago, and it''s <em>working</em>. They have you chasing a million small fires while they are just getting richer and more powerful by the day. It won''t be long before they start seeking actual fleet engagements. Once that happens, you are <em>fucked.</em> We don''t know exactly what their capacities are, but Jessica Morgan and her inner circle possess what remains of pre-Yellowstone military science and technology. It is quite possible they have some bullshit from those days. Jessica is an <em>American</em>, one of the big powers of pre-copse Earth, and had time to plunder their vaults and databases before Yellowstone blew. They were known for all sorts of ck book projects. I know you guys are ''sufficiently advanced,'' but do not underestimate what they might have."

    "We have recently learned not to underestimate them," the Abyssal Lord said ruefully, "While we are on the subject, is there <em>anything</em> you can do to stem the flow of weapons both to the Forsaken and to the Federation as a whole? I would be willing to reward you handsomely if you could."

    "Even in the best of times, that would be difficult," Mark said with a wince, "right now, with everything going on over here, it would be¡­ problematic. It isn''t the Terran government supplying the arms. It is thousands, perhaps millions, of private citizens. Cracking down on them during our current political climate is not a move we are prepared to make, not over the Feds. Besides, have you ever heard our legend of Pandora''s Box?"

    "One moment," the Abyssal Lord said as he looked away.

    Heughed once more.

    "What a wonderful tale," he said with delight, "Thank you for this! I think I see what you are getting at, but could you rify it for me, please?"

    "Our weapons tech, especially small arms tech, isn''t difficult to replicate. Any Federation member certainly has the capacity to do <em>most</em> of what we do, at least on some scale, once they know how. Hell, I made the rifle I used during the Sol Wars using a few salvaged hand tools, and it worked great until I was handed my first AK. Are you aware of the ''tablet'' that the Confederacy of Sol has been handing out?"

    "Isn''t it some sort of weapons guide?" the Abyssal Lord asked.

    "It''s a LOT more than just that," Markughed, "Get a copy. It details most of our weapons technology, <em>including</em> fission and fusion bombs. She fucking handed schematics for nukes out, and the way <em>we</em> do them requires technology that we developed over a <em>thousand</em> years ago. <em>Any</em> Federation species can make them. They might not do it as well as we do it now. We have had an extra thousand years, after all, but any of them could whip up a Fat Man or a Tsar Bomba <em>tomorrow</em>. Jessica Morgan just threw open Pandora''s box and dumped it all over your asses. It''s only a matter of time before this ''Communalist Party'' bes a Nuclear Power. You need to secure the peace <em>now</em>. Get Jessica Morgan to the table and cut a deal. I hate you fuckers with a passion reserved only for the Porkies and the Bug, but I hate the thought of anarchy and a power vacuum more, especially with the Bug just a few years away if we are lucky. Get your shit together. Fuck, if nothing else, make nice with The Veiled Ones and take over everything yourselves before Jessica or this Karashel chick does."

    "There are many who agree with you, Mark," the Abyssal Lord replied, "But nowhere near enough."

    "Then the Federation is fucked," Mark replied. "However, I am prepared to discuss technology exchange and possible future military cooperation when the Buges."

    "¡­ We are willing to discuss those possibilities," the Abyssal Lord replied, "But first, I wish to secure an agreement that you will not antagonize Sheloran or the th further. Seriously, you need to leave them alone. No good cane from it."

    "Ok," Mark replied, "I''m willing to table the whole th thing, and unless Sheloran continues to whip up those super nukes, she''spletely in the clear. I just gotta know one thing. <em>How?</em> If they have truly ''cleansed'' themselves, how can she just throw together some stuff that is literally science fiction? We have some ''artifacts'' of hers, and we can''t even begin to figure out how they work. Well, we have <em>one</em> of them figured out and are going to copy the fuck out of it¡ª"

    "Please don''t."

    "It''s ok," Mark chuckled, "It''s just a mono-wire elerator. We figure it could make a very nice ''trench sweeper'' or boarding weapon once we dumb it down. I doubt it will trigger this ''Great Filter''."

    "ying with <em>anything</em> she creates is ying with fire," the Abyssal Lord replies, "no matter how ''harmless'' it appears. Still, I don''t see how a simple wire thrower will ''offend fate''."

    "You don''t have to worry about the other thing we have captured," Markughed, "we have absolutely no clue how it works. Do ''solid electrons'' make any sense to you?"

    "I wouldn''t tell you if they did," the Abyssal Lord chuckled, "but if you are referring to her glitter-covered pistol, it''s a bit of a mystery to us as well. My advice is to either give it back to her or disintegrate it just to be on the safe side. To answer your original question, we aren''t exactly sure how she can manifest ''forgotten'' technology. We suspect it has something to do with gic knowledge."

    "Say what now?"

    "We have creatures capable of incredible feats on our homeworld," the Abyssal Lord replied, "small things that can build massive, intricate structures purely by instinct. I''m sure you have simr?"

    "Yeah."

    "We suspect it''s like that. She isn''t the first one to disy¡­ unusual abilities like this. Normally the th do a <em>very</em> good job of taking care of the problem, quite humanely by the way. They aren''t like the Z''uush. However, Sheloran is the first one to break containment. The th are normally nearly incapable of leaving their home. Even the th counselor doesn''t travel. He has special permission to do all of his business remotely. They don''t leave their home for any reason¡­ except for Sheloran. She is¡­ <em>abnormal</em> in that respect. As such, she has removed herself from the regtion of her peers and the very small number of th who are¡­ knowledgeable¡­ where dealing with ''issues'' are concerned. Sadly, what she ''escaped'' was not the fate she thought she was escaping. She likely would have been recruited into their number and had a very satisfying andfortable life. Now that she is an ''apostate'', that is no longer an option. They won''t touch her now. She''s too far gone. Oddly their advice is not to kill her. They say she could be ''vitally important,'' but they will not specify further. They say to just leave her alone and ''let her find what she seeks'', whatever the void that means."

    The Abyssal Lord red his gills in irritation.

    "Dealing with a th can be frustrating under the best of circumstances. Dealing with those ''assholes'' is even worse. Where Sheloran is concerned, they are <em>impossible</em>. They will barely say anything about her save to leave her be and that if she is what they think she might be, stopping her is quite literally impossible, that she is ''inevitable as the death of the cosmos''. They also say that if she is yet another ''failed incarnation,'' then she will amount to nothing and be of no consequence to them¡­ then they refuse to say what that means."

    "So talking to them is like when we try to talk to you assholes," Mark smirked.

    "Exactly," the Abyssal Lordughed. "Just¡­ don''t fuck with her or the th. We are fully prepared to assist your technological advancement in preparation for the Collective. You don''t need to poke things that should remain asleep. Besides, it will take you years to properly utilize what we can show you. Anything that the th give you that we can not would take <em>decades</em> to use, if not <em>centuries</em>. Their technological heritage likely spans millions of years if not longer."

    "Longer?"

    "How long did it take for life to develop on your world?"

    "It happened pretty quickly from what we can tell. We have microfossils well over 3 billion years old."

    The fish nodded.

    "And how long did it take for life to progress from those simple prokaryotes to multicellr lifeforms?"

    "Now you are putting me on the spot," Markughed, "A couple of billion years, if I remember high school correctly."

    "Do you know how long it ''normally'' took for the vast majority of life out there, including us?"

    "I would guess about the same time, but if that was the case, we wouldn''t be talking about this."

    "On average," the Abyssal Lord replied, "From the initial prokaryotic lifeforms to multicellr life took only a few hundred million years if that."

    "What?"

    "It confused us for a very long time," the Abyssal Lord said with a smile, "our simtions kepting up wrong, projecting times much more in line with your world, if not longer or ever. The Xx finally cracked it. Your world is what <em>should</em> happen. Our worlds were¡­ altered. <em>Something</em> paid them a visit. A lot of the worlds that have thriving civilizations aren''t even going to be able to support life long enough for it to have evolved as it did on Terra. Most homeworlds are like your Mars or Venus. They won''tst anywhere near long enough forplex life to develop ''naturally''. Something tipped the scales of fate to make this gxy as ''alive'' as it is."

    "What. The. Fuck?"

    "Yes, it''s true," the Abyssal Lord replied, "Every world is different, down to its ''DNA''. There are nomonalities between any world aside from the utilization of certainmon chemical structures and universal amino acids. Even so, something visited all those worlds, took the simple single-celled creatures floating in those primordial seas, and ''tweaked'' them to get the process moving faster. The <em>Progenitors</em> were very real. It took the manically obsessive Xx to finally find their ''fingerprint'', certain enzymes, and certain amino acid preferences. You will have to talk to an Xx to get the details. If you do, be warned. Pack several meals. You will be there for a while."

    "Are these the <em>same</em> ''Progenitors'' that the th worked for?"

    "We aren''t sure," Abyssal Lord shrugged, "The word ''Progenitor'' is one we use to describe them. We have no idea what they were called. The th call their former masters something I can''t even pronounce properly that roughly trantes to "The Source of All" or the "All Masters". They may have been the true ''Progenitors,'' or they may not have been. I suspect they weren''t. Time devours all, and whoever or whatever seeded all of those worlds did so hundreds of millions to over a billion years ago. If there is a ''Great Filter'' that is the final stop for technological development, then they probably hit it long before most of us had fins... including you."

    "Why are you telling me all of this?" Mark asked, "This is like some ''secrets of the ancients'' level bullshit."

    "Because it''s relevant to the discussion," the Abyssal Lord replied, "And we are in a period of rtive calm and peace, well¡­ rtive to what the next few years hold."

    The ancient terror grinned broadly, disying all of its needle-sharp teeth.

    "Besides, you will have to be an ''elder race'' pretty quickly if you want to survive, and if we want to remain an ''elder race,'' then we will need friends, friends like you, for example. Some of us have made the decision to reach out ''prematurely'' in order to start building rtions and allies outside of the Federation."

    "Some of you?" Mark asked with a raised eyebrow.

    "I chose my words carefully," the Abyssal Lord smiled. "There is no true and full consensus behind my actions. There are, however, enough singing the song I sing to lend enough strength to start the process, especially among my species. I happen to like my world and would hate to have to flee it over some surface-scraping bugs. The Federation will fail to stop them, and if we don''t start building rtionships with species that are demonstrated victors, then we will stand alone against a force beyond counting. Karashel may be able to deliver on her promises, or she may not. I would prefer to hedge my bets."

    "What is Karashel promising?"

    "More than she can deliver, and she most likely knows that. Fifty years ago, she might have been able to do what she describes, but ten years is just not enough. However, we allowed her to ''deceive'' us for our own reasons. Our wayward children, the Sundrinkers, need to be shown that their beloved experiment is a failure. Karashel will seed, or she will fail. Either way, she will likely break the Federation or, at the very least, cause some much needed changes. It''s a pity that the bug will just eat it all anyway. Karashel the Baleel is a quite interesting individual. I rmend getting to know her before she meets her end however that end maye."

    "I will take it under advisement," Mark replied, "or pass it along to my sessor as the case may be."

    "You anticipate recement?"

    "The world is an uncertain ce," Mark smiled ruefully, "shit happens. We will leave the th alone, Sheloran included, provided you guyse across with that tech. We royally fucked up the whole Sheloran thing anyhow. There is little chance she will cooperate with us now and I suspect forcing a ''technologically advanced'' being to make things we don''t even fully understand against their will might not be wise. We have enough shit to deal with right now. Personally, I''m in favor of deporting her ass or, at the very least, bribing her to go somewhere else, but that''s not entirely my call."

    "We would also be willing to ''sweeten the pot'' as far as enticing her to leave Terran space goes¡­ provided that means her return to the Federation. We can make her legal issues disappear without much problem. Unfortunately, repatriation to her homeworld is impossible at this time. They don''t want her back under any circumstances. They call her the ''oil that befouls the waters'' and do NOT want her anywhere near them. That being said, there are plenty of pleasant worlds that would happily take her in, our system, for example."

    "I''m not willing to just let you asshats get your fins on a walking cosmic WMD," Mark smiled. "You <em>say</em> you won''t try to exploit her, but we all say a lot of shit, know what I''m saying? I''m thinking somece nice and remote, maybe somewhere out of the way where <em>nobody</em> knows where she is."

    "¡­ I''m not opposed to that," the Abyssal Lord replied, "We both monitor her, and nobody save the bare minimum knows where she is sent. We can give her the nts she desperately needs to cultivate and never touch the surface of that world again. Do you have a particr world in mind?"

    "Not yet, but the gxy is a big ce. What about an O''Neil cylinder or other such habitat?"

    "I would advise absolutely no essible technology. Who knows what she could do with what."

    "Good point," Mark replied. "I can live with this. We both start looking for worlds that would be a good fit. Between us, I''m sure we can find a ce. All that remains are the details."

    "Agreed," the ancient fish said with a satisfied nod, "We would prefer to use unofficial channels for now. There is a Kalent already involved in this situation that has no connection to the Kalent government, a Sundrinker named Baxlon. He is currently acting as Sheloran''swyer. We can use him as our point of contact. He will know how to reach me directly and streamlinemunications between the Terran government and my faction."

    "What about his connection to Sheloran?"

    "We won''t tell him about that," the Abyssal Lord replied, "I will tell him that my contact with you is because of a loss of faith in the Federation and the desire to forge new alliances with morepetent races. That will y to his own feelings on the matter. Besides, he nearly worships us as living gods, <em>and</em> I have some rather significant leverage over him personally. I am confident he will discreetly do as I say, and he will only be used to set up meetings and deliver amunications device simr to the one I am now using. Anything concerning Sheloran or anything else will be discussed directly between you and myself. In fact, I would prefer that you remain my point of contact regardless of your official title."

    "¡­ I''ll see what I can do," Mark said carefully.

    <em>I guess I could do that from a prison cell...</em> he thought with a rueful smile.

    "Then we have an agreement," the Abyssal Lord said. "I will get in touch soon concerning possibly hosting a small group of your scientists and engineers where they can interact directly with us. We have found that to be the best way to efficiently exchange knowledge."

    "I''m looking forward to that," Mark said quite truthfully. This was a pretty big deal.

    "Excellent," the Abyssal Lord said, "Farewell."

    "His image disappeared."

    Shaking his head, Mark activated a secure call to the Prime Minister.

    ***

    "You have a lot of nerve, you know that?" Baxlon snarled at that same ornate box now held by one of the Abyssal Lord''s attendants. "You just waltz in here again and just assume I''m going to bow and scrape just because you are what you are?"

    "Yes," the box replied, quite amused, "Well, that and I <em>might</em> be able to address your little problem."

    "And just what problem is that?" Baxlon replied, fighting the overwhelming instinct to, in fact, bow and scrape.

    <em>" Emunication,"</em> the box said smugly. "perhaps even exile. How would you like to return home one day? I understand you are quite happy with your life here, but you may wish to return home one day. I can make that happen. When your time approaches, I can <em>ensure</em> that you are able to enter The Great Ocean."

    "T-the Great Ocean?" Baxlon stammered.

    "Remember it?" the abyssal voice purred from the box. "You will no longer be limited to this single short life. You will be able to im your birthright as one of the Kalent. Serve me and you, once again, serve the Kalent. My voice will sing your name and ept you when you present yourself. I will im you as one of us. Nobody will raise their voice against mine in this regard."

    "A-and all I will have to do is ry messages?"

    "That''s it," the Abyssal Lord purred, "this is a matter that requires discretion, at least for now, and you are ideally ced. I am willing to overlook your past indiscretions and failures, especially since you have ovee your little addiction, at least to the point where you can maintain your affairs. All I require is loyalty, discretion, and effectiveness. As far as your crimes against the Federation go, I doubt they will even exist by the time you desire to rejoin your people in eternity. Will you do this for me, for your people?"

    "To be able to enter The Great Ocean..." Baxlon said quietly, "Yes. To be able to enter The Great Ocean, I will do whatever I have to do. Name it, and it will happen."

    "Serve your people by serving me, and your redemption is assured."

    "Thank you, My Lord," Baxlon said as he bowed.

 Chapter 194: Buying Trouble

    Chapter 194: Buying Trouble

    Deep within the Vt-Tun Freehold, two Hunzk were arguing as they rode in a rental cargo mover.

    "I can''t believe you did this!" Ghtpt spluttered through his tiny mouth at the tip of his muscr earthworm-like head. "The boss is going to pluck your ass bald!"

    Beep reflexively pulled the feathery fluff extending from his rear quarter tight against his round flexible body. He hated getting plucked.

    "He won''t after he sees the profits!" Beep eximed, "These things are <em>fantastic</em>! We are going to make <em>so</em> much money!"

    "If they are so great," Ghtpt grumbled, "Then why haven''t I heard about them before?"

    "Because nobody knows how great they are out here!" Beep eximed. "You don''t usually get them this far out! I''m telling you, Ghtpt, they are worth every penny a hundred times over! I''ve read all about them on the!"

    "You spent all that money on something you read about on that stupid hype?!?" Ghtpt fluted, his feathers shaking with anger. "It''s bad enough you waste your time and our energy reserves on that nonsense. Now, it''s rotted what little neural tissue you had! Everyone knows that garbage is just lies and sparkle! I''m telling your mother about this!"

    "You will be telling her how smart I was for getting them!" Beep shouted back, raising his rear and sying his feathers in a peacock-like fan. "They are going to change everything for us!"

    "You were supposed to be buying scrap!" Ghtpt shouted, booping Beep angrily with his nose, "Now what are we going to do?"

    "We have plenty of scrap!" Beep snapped, sticking his little tongue out angrily, "This is a <em>thousand</em> times better!"

    Inside the cargo mover, a young human woman, wearing only a thick metal cor, red at herpanion.

    "At least we are still together?" the young man said hopefully.

    "You are <em>lucky</em> I love you," the woman grumbled, "Because if I didn''t..."

    "If you didn''t love me, you wouldn''t be in this mess to begin with," the young man replied, "Now, pee on me."

    <em>"What?"</em>

    ***

    Jessica Morgan sat in front of a wall of archaic OLED monitors, each disying a different face.

    "Good job, people," Jessica Morgan said with a smile, "Nice to see that nobody forgot how to be a pirate. The Federation is bleeding credits out of a million different assholes. We got them chasing their tails, but don''t get cocky. We have good intel that they have broken out their Argent ss heavy cruisers, and those things are no joke. They were built to hunt and eliminate the Republic fleet. If one of those things gets one of yours in their sights, it''s over for them. Make sure to review what we know about their specs and start thinking about how to take those things on or at least how to detect them. They have some top-ss adaptable cloaking. One of the elders probably finally came across with some tech. They can appear to be literally any ship on your scans. By the time you jump to visual range, you are nose to nose with something built to fight Republic battleships."

    "So it''s just a sensor spoof?" A grey haired man wearing an Old-Earth Naval uniform asked.

    "Yes," Jessica replied, "But it''s a damn good one. We''ve lost over a dozen ships to them so far, and even Analytica can''t tell the difference. The ship gets a good ID, jumps in, and we get only get a few frames of a veryrge Fed Cruiser before the feed goes dead."

    "When are we getting the Cherry Blossoms?" the man asked. "We could jump andunch immediately."

    "We are assembling them now and training the pilots," Jessica replied. "but it''s going to be a couple of more weeks before we have enough for the first wave at the minimum. We want enough to hit hard before they realize what they are. Pissing them out a couple at a time just shows our hand."

    The old Navy officer nodded.

    "Now, on to our next item," Jessica said, "Our small arms and squad level heavy weapons situation is stable, but we arepletely reliant on the fucking Terrans. I don''t like that."

    There was a general murmur of assent.

    "I hate sucking the Terran''s dick for arms," Jessica growled, "I <em>loathe</em> handing <em>billions</em> of credits to the fuckers for <em>the exact same shit</em> they used on us. Worst of all, we are literally fighting and dying to build <em>their</em> brand. We are making the AK the weapon of choice for Federation dissidents."

    She leaned forward.

    "This has to stop. We need <em>our</em> own arms. We need something that we can make en masse, that is effective, and, I can''t stress this enough, is <em>iconic</em>. We need our own ''AK''."

    There was a "ping" from <em>The Nova</em>, the cruise liner housing their mobile PR task force.

    "Ah, Be," Jessica said as she smiled at her granddaughter. "Does the creator of our new g have something?"

    "Yes!" she said excitedly, "My team has been discussing this very issue!"

    "Excellent!" Jessica said with genuine pleasure.

    "The AK wasn''t the <em>only</em> weapon of that era!" Be said excitedly, "Why don''t we embrace our <em>American</em> heritage? The AR¡ª"

    She was cut off byughter from almost every screen.

    Jessica''s expression darkened.

    "Alright," Jessica snarled, "who put her up to this? Rebekah, if it was you, I swear to fuck..."

    "It wasn''t me!" A woman with long white hair wearing an old-style camouged tunic with the words "US ARMY" on the chest, along with two ck stars,ughed as she wiped tears from her eyes.

    "...What?" Be Morgan asked with genuine confusion. "I just thought..."

    "It''s an old and rather¡­ thorny issue with your ancestor," General Rebekah Jacobsughed, "We might have had this discussion before once or twice. I''ve been trying to get the old witch to adopt either the AR tform or one of the six eights that followed it."

    "And I''ve said <em>repeatedly</em> that it''s just the fucking AK by another name," Jessica growled to everyone''s amusement. "Thousand-year-old tech is thousand-year-old tech. We might as well keep buying the fucking AKs and ammo from the fucking Republic! They are better at it! I am NOT building factories just to copycat the Terrans <em>and make an inferior product!</em> It''s the fucking thirty-second century, people! There <em>has</em> to be something better! FIND IT!"

    She turned to her granddaughter, now frozen with embarrassment and just a little bit of fear.

    "Sweetie, you didn''t know," Jessica smiled, "But don''t EVER mention a goddamn M-16, M-4, or any of that shit again. It pisses me off."

    "Yes, Grand¡­ Yes, ma''am."

    "We already have an ''iconic'' weapon," A man wearing a Russian uniform said calmly, "The sabergun. It has clearly demonstrated its effectiveness against the Federation, and they are already scared shitless by them. I know we can''t produce them in any numbers. Hell, we can''t even rece our losses in the field, but we <em>can</em> make them. What about pulling up pre-supercap gauss weapons from the database. It''s still old, but they were what reced that gunpowder shit. Maybe we can modernize one of those old designs? I know they are still in use out in the Kuiper belt and among other unaffiliated human groups."

    "It''s a definite contender," Jessica mused, "I was still hoping for something better than just a fucking coilgun, but needs must. Let''s get an engineering team on that and see what we cane up with. If we can get good power out of one, it''s an option. Just don''t hand me a needler."

    "Anybody else?" she asked the group atrge.

    Silence and shrugs were her only replies.

    "Well, put some people on this, goddammit," Jessica said firmly, "I consider this one of our top priorities. We can''t keep handing out AKs. It just looks bad, and in this war, PR and building our ''brand'' is more important than our kill ratio. We need a Porkie gun, and we need it now."

    She pulled out her tablet.

    "Do we have any new developments out there?"

    There was a ping from digital intelligence services.

    "Yes?" Jessica inquired.

    "It shoulde as no surprise that some of our people have decided to flee the entire situation and leave Federation space," a ck-haired woman said, "Some of them have made for The Fringes, The Great Asscrack, and other areas outside of ''The Big Three''s'' influence."

    "Makes sense," Jessica nodded. "Win or Lose, leaving the Federation is what we will all do once we be a true spacefaring civilization again. Have our pioneers found anything?"

    "Trouble, mostly," the woman replied, "They are usually ok if they stick close to the borders, but the further they venture away from civilized space and our reputation, the more trouble they encounter. It''s shocking, but it turns out that a small group of unknown xenos flying mostly unarmed or lightly armed civilian craft far from any backup might just be viewed as easy prey once our¡­ reputation¡­ bes unknown or discounted as an exaggeration since nobody has actually faced us. We have reports of humans being killed or taken as ves, especially in the Asscrack."

    "Not good," Sebastian Morgan, head of the PR task force, said grimly, "First impressions are everything, and if we be known as a ''ve species'', it will make expansion into those areas more difficult. If we are nning on entering or dealing with these areas, we need to respond."

    "I agree," Jessica Morgan replied.

    She paused a moment, sipping her ever present cup of tea.

    She smiled.

    "Grand Bard Bozo," she said with an evil smile as the group let out a satisfied malevolent chuckle.

    "Yes, General," a brightly dressed man with a head that waspletely shaven and painted pure white with two ck inverted crosses painted over his eyes.

    "The Harlequins have served... respectably... during our recent raids, but I strongly suspect that you aren''t engaging as enthusiastically as some of the others?" Jessica smiled.

    "Because we aren''t as stupid as some of the others," Bozo replied.

    The words, "You aren''t getting rid of us that easy, bitch :)" appeared on the screen under his name.

    Jessica snorted.

    "Then you would have the resources to attend to this matter for us?"

    "I would," the "bard" replied as he smiled, revealing wickedly filed teeth.

    "Excellent," Jessica purred, "<em>Introduce</em> them to humanity. No. In the words of a certain journalist, introduce them to our species."

 Chapter 195: Slaughter Delayed (Buying Trouble Pt 2)

    Chapter 195: ughter Dyed (Buying Trouble Pt 2)

    Inside the cargo mover, a young woman stood up after squatting over herpanion.

    "Well, that was interesting," she said. "Is this one of those kinks you were keeping secret until we were married?"

    "Ugh, absolutely not!" the young manughed as he started collecting grit from the cargo mover''s floor and sliding it under the urine-soaked ve cor. "Once the grit and piss start to bite..."

    "They will have to take it off to treat the sores," the woman smiled. "For a fucking idiot, you are pretty smart sometimes."

    "They just paid big bucks for us¡­ I hope," the guy replied. "They aren''t just going to let our heads rot off. They might only take the cor off for a minute, but a minute will be all I need," he said with a vicious smile. "Did you see those earthworms? I bet I could rip one in half."

    "Don''t assume anything," the woman replied.

    "Well, I <em>assume</em> that I''m pissed p the fuck off," the guy growled. "And, statistically speaking, we are <em>humans</em>. We can take most species hand to hand."

    "Speaking of piss," the woman replied. "I can''t <em>believe</em> I''m saying this..." She pulled her cor a bit to the side.

    "You are going to need backup. At least it will look like a species sensitivity to the cors or something."

    "I might have something in the tank," the guy smiled as he stood over her.

    "Get it in my face, and I''ll twist it off," the woman snarled.

    ***

    "And they are <em>really smart</em>!" Beep eximed happily, "They all go to school, real school, for <em>years</em>, and they''re some of the best schools in the <em>entire gxy</em>. All of them know physics, engineering, electronics¡­ <em>calculus</em>..."

    "What the fuck is calculus?"

    "I have no idea!" Beep fluted, "That''s how good it is! Ooo! I bet they could teach us all sorts of stuff!"

    "Well..." Ghtpt mused, "It would be nice to get some brains around the ce... We lost so much of that..."

    "Yeah," Beep said sadly, "And they are supposed to be really strong too!" Beep continued enthusiastically as he brightened up almost instantly, "and can work <em>forever</em>¡­ and don''t get me started about their warriors. <em>All</em> of them are <em>fearsome,</em> even the <em>civilians</em>. Their average civilian is better trained than most civilization''s warriors! We <em>definitely</em> need more security."

    Ghtpt looked up in rm.

    "Do you mean to tell me that we have <em>two trained warriors</em> in there?!?"

    "Don''t worry," Beep said with a flutter of his tail feathers, "they have stun cors, <em>and</em> we have this!"

    He pointed at severalrge bales of nt material.

    "The vers told me that they were escaped ves already, and this is their ve dust." they stole a bunch of it when they escaped. "Between those cors and this, they won''t hurt us. We have enough of this to keep thempliant for a long time, long enough to be able to replicate it. Maybe we will be lucky and find some seeds in there!"

    ***

    <em>" You asshole!"</em> the woman shouted as she wiped her face.

    "We hit a bump!" the guy said defensively.

    "You''re going to pay for that," the woman said as she rubbed grit under her cor. They rode in silence for a while.

    "Smart move, convincing them that our stash was ve dust," the guy said, trying to change the subject.

    The woman grinned.

    "It was, wasn''t it?" she said with smug satisfaction, "You lost our ship, but I managed to save the ganj."

    "I wasn''t the only person in that ship, you know," the guy said, "you were sitting right there when I entered the coordinates. <em>We</em> lost <em>our</em> ship."

    "Well, it was your idea that..."

    The guy just sighed and let the words flow over him. Besides, she was right. Eloping and heading to the Asscrack <em>was</em> his idea. It was the only ce their families wouldn''t find them.

    "...and it was <em>your</em> idea that we..."

    He sighed again.

    <em>"Yes, dear,"</em> he said in a ssic hangdog defeated tone as he grinned at her.

    The young woman burst intoughter and punched him in the arm. He made his point. Bitching about this wasn''t going to get them out of this mess, would it?

    "I wonder how nice our <em>new</em> ship is going to be," she said wickedly. "And once we take it, we go to the <em>Empire</em> like I wanted to. I hear if we stay away from human worlds, we can probably find a ce that will take us in, or we can run cargoes or something."

    <em>"Yes, dear."</em>

    "Goddamn right!" she said as she rubbed her neck.

    ***

    "You are going to love it here!" Beep said to the two humans as he escorted them through arge cargo ship.

    Ghtpt followed a safe distance behind, clutching the remote to their cors.

    "I know we haven''t met under the best of conditions," Beep continued, "but soon we will be the best of friends!"

    The humans smiled at him, causing Ghtpt to put his finger over the stun button.

    "It''s ok!" Beep eximed in rm, "It''s how their race smiles! They are just being friendly!"

    "It doesn''t look friendly!" (It wasn''t)

    "It is! I know all about humans!" Beep enthused to the pair, "Which tribe of humans are you from?"

    "Tribe?" the woman said cautiously, "We aren''t from any tribe. We are just Porkies."

    "That means they are from the Federation!" Beep eximed happily to Ghtpt. "They have ves there. They call it something different, but it''s the same thing."

    Beep looked up at the two humans.

    "It must be <em>awful</em> to have escaped only to be caught again, huh?"

    "You are making this a LOT easier," the woman smiled pleasantly.

    "Oh, I hope so," Beep said cheerfully, "I want your transition to be as pleasant as possible! You''ll love it here! You''ll see."

    "I''m sure we will be right at home in no time," the young man smiled. "This is a big ship, huh?"

    "And it''s really nice too!" Beep eximed happily.

    "Is it?" the woman smiled.

    "I''m SO excited to have been able to get <em>humans</em>!" Beep eximed. "I''m a <em>huge</em> fan! I know <em>all</em> about you from the hype! Do you like Naruto? My favorite character is Sakura!"

    "Of course, she is," the woman smiled.

    "Do either of you know ninjutsu?"

    The womanughed.

    "No, we don''t know ninjutsu. I hate to break it to you, but all martial arts are just for show. They aren''t actually real. It''s just for the holovids."

    "But what about what we saw on the news where your soldiers can put their fists clean through an enemy''s skull?"

    "Say <em>what</em> now?!?" Ghtpt fluted in rm.

    "Oh, they all have bionics or power armor and have been surgically altered and are on all sorts ofbat drugs. No <em>normal</em> human can just reach out and¡­ <em>rip someone''s throat out</em> or something like that."

    "Yeah," the guy added, "us normal humans can''t do any of that stuff."

    "Oh," Beep said, somewhat disappointed. "But you do go to years of school, right?"

    "That we do," the guy said.

    "Oh, good!" Beep eximed with relief, "But¡­ I thought you guys were taught all sorts of military stuff in school."

    "That''s just the Terrans," the woman said, "We Porkies don''t learn <em>nearly</em> as much. It''s basically just PE with some marching thrown in for tradition."

    "PE?" Beep asked curiously.

    "We are forced to exercise in school for some reason," the woman replied, "They say it''s for health reasons, but the real reason is because our parents were forced to do it. We aren''t taught how to make improvised weapons, bombs, and how to kill with our bare hands on a wide range of xeno body types or anything like that. That''s just the Terrans, and most of that is just hype. I mean, how much can you teach a little kid?"

    "Sorry to say we arepletely harmless," The young man said with a friendly smile.

    "That''s ok," Beep chirped, "So are we! None of us are military."

    "Do tell," the young man said with a smile.

    ***

    After a rather long walk, the group arrived at a hatch.

    "Well, this will be your room, at least for now," Beep said happily as he opened the hatch revealing an empty cell with a pile of what looked like empty sacks on the floor.

    "That''s your bedding!" Beep said happily, "They are really soft, and we made sure to give you a lot of them!"

    "How nice," the woman said caustically.

    "I''m sorry to say we are going to have to keep you in here for a little while until you calm down," Beep said, "Most new acquisitions can be a bit angry or scared when they first arrive. Once you get used to things, we will get you moved in with the rest of the gang! I''m Beep, by the way! I''ll be your ''neer buddy'' and help you get settled!"

    "I''m Grace," the woman replied, extending her hand.

    "Ooo!" Beep eximed, "I know this one from your shows!"

    He extended one of his maniptors.

    "Heh¡­ ow..." he said as Grace seized his little mit in a vice-like grip and jerked his arm up and down.

    "Oh, sorry!" Grace said as she smiled with satisfaction. They definitely had the edge where strength was concerned.

    "And I''m n," the man said as he extended his hand.

    Beep reluctantly extended one of his other appendages, one that wasn''t bruised, and was pleasantly surprised when n shook his hand much more gently. They already had the data they wanted.

    "You consume water, right?"

    "Yes," n replied, "And we are <em>starving</em>. May we please have some food?"

    "And we are overdue for our ''dose''," Grace added. "I''m starting to hurt."

    "Oh!" Beep eximed, his ring of beady little eyes shining with sympathy. "I am SO sorry that was done to you. I will get you some food appropriate for your species and your¡­ um¡­ your stuff right away."

    He closed and firmly locked the door behind him.

    The pair wasted no time searching every inch of the cell.

    "I don''t see any sensors," Grace said as she searched the walls and ceiling.

    "or bugs..." n added, "Wait! There''s one!" he eximed, pointing at a very familiar hyper-roach scuttling out of the bedding.

    "Ha!" Graceughed as she pounced on the roach and stuffed it into her mouth, crunching it between her teeth, causing n to nearly dry heave.

    "What?" Grace grinned as she opened her mouth to reveal bug guts. "I''m hungry."

    n winced and looked away as Graceughed.

    "Why did I have to fall in love with a fucking <em>animal?"</em> he groaned.

    "Because I''m a <em>freak</em> in the sheets?" Grace asked between crunches (it takes several to get a hyper-roach down) "¡­ or sacks¡­ I wonder if there are any more in there," she said as she started inspecting their bedding.

    She held up one of the "potato sacks".

    "Well, Earthworm Jim was right," she said, "these things are soft, clean too," she added as she started trying to wrap a couple around her.

    "They arefy," n agreed as he wrapped one around his waist in a crude loincloth.

    ***

    "What are you doing in here," another "earthworm" snapped as Beep entered the galley.

    "Getting some food for our new arrivals," Beep replied.

    "They can wait just like everyone else," the cook snapped as he monitored several disy screens controlling a number of vats. "I heard you got some freaks or something. Give me their info and get lost!"

    "Oh, you <em>really</em> don''t want humans to get hungry," Beep replied, "It''s a <em>bad</em> idea."

    "Why?" the cook demanded.

    "Well..." Beep said reluctantly.

    "You gotta be fucking KIDDING me!!!" echoed down the corridor a few momentster.

    ***

    Not too much longer, n and Grace looked up from the nest they had made out of the bedding as the door opened.

    Beep walked in, pushing a small cart with tworge containers and a small cup filled with premium marijuana (the good shit).

    "Sorry about the wait!" Beep eximed with excitement (real live humans!!! This was so neat!!!)

    "I didn''t know how much you eat, so I hope this is enough," he said as he handed them a two liter sized stic tub filled with a grey paste and another one filled with water.

    "I also didn''t know what utensils you use to¡­ oh..." he trailed off as Grace and n attacked the tub scooping up the paste with their hands and wolfing it down while they took turns gulping from the water tub. (They were really hungry.)

    "Do you like it?" Beep asked hopefully.

    "Tastes like shit," n said between gulps, "But hunger is the best sauce."

    "Is that a human expression?" Beep asked.

    "A human said it," Grace replied, her face smeared with carbo paste.

    "Well, we will get the ptability better, I''m sure," Beep replied, "I just didn''t want <em>humans</em> to go hungry."

    "Oh God, that''s reached even this far out?" n asked with annoyance, "We don''t do that anymore," he said as he evaluated Beep''s fleshy muscr rings. "Well, most of us don''t."

    "Yeah," Grace added with a wicked smile, "Only the <em>worst</em> of the criminal families ever did that sort of thing, and these days it almost never happens."

    Grace and n looked at each other and smiled, baring their teeth.

    "Oh good!" Beep said with relief.

    He stood there nervously as the pair wolfed down the carbo paste. (It''s best to just gulp it down. It''s easier that way.)

    "Here''s your¡­ um¡­ your dust..." Beep said, clearly difited. "I didn''t know how you consumed it, so I just brought it."

    "We usually smoke it," n said, "We¡­ um¡­ yeah¡­ we usually use metal pipes. Can¡­ can we get some metal pipe fittings about¡­ this long..."

    He held out his hands about a convenient club''s length apart.

    "Oh, I don''t know..." Beep said nervously, "I need to ask the captain about that."

    "Maybe we could go to the kitchen?" Grace asked, "I can use a <em>sharp knife</em> to <em>slice</em> it into a fine powder, and we can consume it that way."

    "Oh, the cook would NOT like that," Beep said. "He doesn''t like anyone in there. Let me go see what I can do."

    Beep departed.

    "Well, it was worth a shot," n shrugged.

    The door opened about half an hourter, and Beep and another worm dressed in a worn and tattered uniform of some sort wiggled in.

    "Hello," the other worm said pleasantly, "I am Captain Vexp, and I preside over this garden of rejected produce."

    "Hey," n replied.

    "I understand you need to smoke your dust?" the captain asked.

    "That''s how we normally do it," Grace replied.

    "We were told nothing about that when you were purchased," the captain said, ring at Beep.

    "I don''t know what to tell you, Cap," n shrugged.

    The captain pulled out a y tube.

    "We also smoke certain substances," the captain said, "This was confiscated from one of my crew. It hasn''t been used, so there is no concern about contamination. Will this suffice?"

    "Yep," Grace said as she epted the tube. "That will work just fine."

    The captain also produced a short rod with a single button.

    "This is what we use to produce a small amount of me. I''m afraid I can''t let you keep it, but Beep will carry it at all times, won''t you Beep?"

    "Yes, Captain."

    n wasted no time packing the small tube and igniting it. He drew heavily on it and then passed it to Grace.

    They were both surprised at how well it worked. It was a damn good little pipe!

    As they both sighed happily, the Captain widened his mouth and licked the rim in what they considered a smile.

    "Now that you are in a less agitated state," he said, "I will exin how things work around here. Yes, we purchased you as ves. However, we do not keep ves permanently. Your purchase price has been recorded, and your pay will be applied to that bnce. Once you have reimbursed us, your bond will be ended, and you will be freed. We dislike doing this, but we are in desperate need ofbor, especially skilledbor, which I understand you two may very well be. Those skills will determine your pay, and considering your price, you two may be free in a very short period of time. If you ept these conditions, your cors will be removed, and you will be as free to move about as any other member of the crew. You will be treated no differently than myself or anyone else, and your working hours and conditions will be the same as ours. Once we return to our, you will be given basic housing and ess to basic rations. Should you choose, you can withdraw part of your wages to buy better housing, better food, or anything else you want if it is avable, but those wages will not be applied to your bond."

    "And if we don''t agree to the terms?" n asked dubiously.

    "Then we will sell you," the captain replied, "We hate doing that, but we have to recover our costs and do not have the resources to guard forcedbor nor the desire to do so. We aren''t a¡­ wealthy¡­ people, and while we detest very at a fundamental level, we have had to make certain¡­ concessions¡­ in order to survive as a people."

    "Believe it or not," Grace said truthfully, "We totally get it. Shit went sideways for your guys, huh?"

    "If you mean that we encountered adversity that we may never recover from," the captain replied, "then, yes. Shit went sideways in a most extreme fashion."

    "So you offer either indentured servitude to you with the <em>promise</em> of good conditions and eventual freedom, or we get passed to whatever ver youe across next."

    "Yes," the captain replied.

    "Not much of a choice," Grace said. "What''s to keep us from epting your terms and then just escaping. We''ve done it before, you know."

    "Yes," the captain replied, "and it was reflected in your purchase price, which will significantly reduce your term. The big reason is that there really isn''t anywhere to run where we are going. Getting off the ship will be nearly impossible since all bonded workers are secured whenever we are at port, and the world we now call home is only marginally habitable at best. You won''t survive out there for long."

    The captain paused.

    "And, to be honest, you would be hard pressed to find better working conditions even as free beings. Your housing will be safe andfortable, and rations, even the free ones, will be nutritious and as ptable as possible. Your working hours will be reasonable, and the conditions will be safe. In fact, many choose to remain with us as free workers after their terms end. Let''s face it. If someone is sold as a ve, most do not have anywhere to go. We can offer someone a stable, happy, and productive life. Usually, the only ones that do leave are the ones who have family out there somewhere waiting. Oh, if you do have family, we will happily allow them to purchase your bond at the exact price we paid¡­ Do you have any family looking for you?"

    "NO!" the pair eximed in unison.

    The captain smiled.

    "Well, if someone is <em>not</em> looking for you, they certainly <em>won''t</em> find you where we are going¡­ And if you are as well educated and skilled as Beep here insists that you are, we would be foolish to have you ''ving'' away picking through scrap, wouldn''t we?"

    Grace and n looked at each other meaningfully.

    They nodded.

    "Alright," n said, "we ept the terms. If it is what you im it is, then it sounds like it might be what we were looking for when we went to the Asscrack in the first ce."

    "Ass¡­ crack?"

    "It''s what we call this area of space," Grace replied.

    The captain hooted withughter.

    "I am going to use that," he snortchortled, "even if we don''t have those."

    He pulled out the control for their cors and pressed a switch causing the cors to unlock and fall off.

    "Wee aboard," he said. "Beep here will help you while we get you set up and figure out how to best utilize you. The more valuable you are, the higher your pay and the shorter your term¡­ and the harder we will try to recruit you properly. We don''t have much, but we share it generously with valuable employees. We are all brothers, sisters, and others in misfortune."

    Grace took a long drag on the pipe and handed it over to n.

    "As long as the conditions don''t suck," she smiled, "and we <em>actually disappear,</em> we might get along famously."

    "Then we will get along famously," the captain "smiled" as he departed.

    After Beep and the Captain left, Grace slugged n in the arm... <em>hard</em>.

    "What was that for?" n demanded.

    "For pissing on me, asshole!"

 Chapter 196: The Forsakens Bad Day

    Chapter 196: The Forsaken''s Bad Day

    On board the <em>Remember Eternal</em>, one of the Federation''s new Argent ss heavy cruisers, a grim faced Vulxeen sat in themand chair.

    "Has the Morran courier boarded?" he asked calmly.

    "Yes, Captain," one of the crew replied and then smirked, "He says that he is dissatisfied with his quarters and demands to speak with you."

    "Oh, does he now," the captain replied as the bridge broke out in malicious chuckles, "Well, send him to one of the ''reception chambers'' and tell him I will meet with him when I am able."

    "Yes, Captain," the crewman snickered and then ordered security to take the courier to the brig.

    "Has the jump been calcted?" he asked in his calm, emotionless voice, all feeling burned from his soul by the Republic. He and all of his crew were "distinguished veterans" of that catastrophic conflict.

    "Jumps for all four Argents have been calcted andid in," the navigator, a Kreneel who was missing the feathers on one of his arms, replied in an equally impassive voice.

    "Synchronized jump at will," he said in a monotone.

    "Jumping," the navigator replied as all four warships slid silently into hyperspace.

    "How long are you going to make the Morran simmer," his first officer, a physically unscarred Kaavel with Gloria-like eyes, chuckled as it perched its small furry body on top of the oversized chair (for her) on which she lounged.

    "The who?" the captain replied impassively.

    "Nevermind," the Kaavel sneered and then looked at their status disy. "Four Argents, most of our fleet, assigned to escort duty? I assume there is a reason?"

    "We are making one of the new convoy circuits," the captain said, "On board, we have over a dozen couriers carrying the payments for their agreements in cash, several trillion credits worth. If they fail to reach their destination, the results will be severe. Even if their partners, most with legitimate grievances, decide to grant them mercy, the damage to the economy of the races we are carrying will be seriously impacted¡­ and the Forsaken will get all of that to finance their operations, including giving untold billions to the Republic, which will then use the money to expand their arms production. At our ''fattest'', we will be carrying half again as much as well as a significant amount of cargo, most of which will be food and industrial raw materials that are urgently needed by yet more systems. We simply cannot bear themerce attacks that we are suffering..."

    The captain allowed himself a slight smile.

    "Besides, Federation intelligence has ensured that the Forsaken will know everything we carry is being conveyed by a convoy consisting of two cargo vessels, a passenger vessel where the couriers and cash will be located, and a single Federation cruiser. If they want it, they will have tomit enough of a fleet to engage that cruiser. If they do, they will instead find us."

    The Kaavel chuckled.

    "How unfortunate for them."

    "Have the crew double-check our point defense arrays, especially the fast-neutron projectors," the captain said tly, "See to it personally, Commander. Inform the crew that I will personally be overseeing the third inspection."

    The Kaavel grinned.

    "On it, boss," she snickered and lept off the chair.

    ***

    In a tiny apartment in Capital City, a very nervous Palg sat on a couch as a rather ragged-looking Xvli with a droopy ear and patches of fur missing sipped a cup of tea, his rather extravagant jeweled engagement bracelet glittering in the light.

    "H-how long are you going to keep me here?" the Palg asked, its porcine snout twitching anxiously.

    "We are staying here in thisfy little safe house until that convoy reaches its destination or the trap is sprung," Senior Agent [emailprotected]@ said pleasantly.

    "And then you will let me go?"

    "Absolutely," [emailprotected]@ said reassuringly. "We always keep our promises."

    A reptilianesque xeno wandered in from the kitchen, holding arge pot.

    "Soup''s on!" he said happily.

    "Wonderful!" [emailprotected]@ said with delight. "Your dumplings <em>almost</em> rival our noodles."

    His fellow agent snorted.

    "Speaking of ''noodles''," it grinned as itdled out two bowls, "hear from your disgraced councilor yet?"

    Xree groaned.

    "I can''t <em>believe</em> she, of all people, would turn her back on her duty for a¡­ <em>human</em>, especially <em>that</em> one!"

    "I dunno," the reptile said as it pulled a silver spork from his pocket, "I think he''s kinda hot."

    "You Vtsbn think everyone and everything is ''kinda hot''. You are worse than humans, and that''s saying something."

    "I mean, have you ever <em>seen</em> a human penis?" hisrade snickered. "They are magnificent! I wish I had one."

    "I believe strongly in ''need to know''," Xree replied as he pulled out a set of gilded chopsticks, "and I am pleased to say I have never needed to know."

    "If you did, you might have some insight into her decision."

    "I''m trying to eat over here," Xree snickered.

    "D-do you think I could have some?" their captive asked hopefully.

    Xree tossed him a mealy food bar.

    "Enjoy."

    "Hey," hisrade said as he looked at his watch, "isn''t it time for you to be online? We don''t need you suspiciously disappearing."

    "And don''t forget," Xree said as he sipped the broth from his bowl, "every move you make is being monitored, and I will personally remove a piece of you for every single character I disapprove of."

    "Y-yessir..." the Palg whimpered and dutifully pulled out aptop.

    ***

    Gwen the Elder surveyed the fleet before her with satisfaction. Nearly a hundred vessels were loaded down withpliance tubes and ready to go.

    She smiled.

    The haul of the century was headed right into their trap. When would the Federation ever learn aboutwork security?

    This was just getting sad.

    She grabbed the old studio mic she had on her bridge.

    "Is everybody ready to rock?" she shouted and smiled at the wild howls echoing from her bridge crew and sting out of therge speakers surrounding her.

    "Remember, we are actually going up against a cruiser this time. Everybodyunch an EMP spread and then wings one and twounch the nukes at the cruiser set to blow just before their shields. The st should take out the prey''s shields but leave them mostly intact. Nail them with EMP missiles just to be sure. Boarding teams! No prisoners!"

    More howls and cheers.

    "Four vessels iing," her sensor man howled. "They are here!"

    "Ok!" Gwen yelled, "This is it!¡­ Just like Zaran! Fire up the grills and pass out the pills! It''s party time!"

    ***

    "Would you look at that," the Vulxeen captain said, his voice actually revealing a trace of pleasure.

    "Any traffic?" he asked.

    "From the howling andpleteck of signal discipline," a sleek Garthra grey replied, "It''s the Angels¡­ Holy shit!¡­ um¡­ sorry, Captain..."

    "Well," the captain replied, "share the shit."

    "Gwen Shay herself is leading the attack!"

    "Can you identify the vessel?"

    "No, Captain, not at this range."

    "Then I guess we have to kill them all," the captain replied.

    "They are firing up their jump drives!" the sensor operator replied, her voice betraying a trace of fear. That was a LOT of ships.

    "Visual analysis revealspliance tubes," the tactical officer said calmly.

    "Excellent," the captain smiled. "We lead with the neutron guns. We can''t let them know about them. No survivors."

    "Yes, captain."

    "Keep shield strength at standard cruiser level until they arrive. Send the directive to all ships viaser."

    "Captain?"

    "Gwen Shay is a cagey one. If something is out of ce, she will bolt if she can. We have good intel that their ships often carry a secondary jump drive."

    He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands as his mouth stubs writhed.

    "I want her."

    ***

    Gwen grabbed the railing as her ship popped into and out of hyperspace.

    Her eyes widened as her crew cried out in rm.

    <em>Argents!</em>

    "Fire all tubes!" she shrieked. "Fire all tubes!"

    Each ship seemed to explode (and a few did) as they unleashed every single missile they had¡­

    ¡­ and space <em>exploded</em> around them as the Argent''s point defense arrays sprung to life, each one sending <em>thousands</em> of beams, each striking with unerring uracy¡­

    ¡­and hundreds of very highly collimated beams of fast neutrons that cut through the warheads causing premature fission of the plutonium and uranium pits within them, triggering them far, far too early.

    "Bail!" Gwen shouted into her the microphone, "Now! We only have a second before their sensors¡ª"

    ***

    "Found her," themunications officer on board the <em>Remember Eternal</em> said with satisfaction.

    "Fire railguns!" the captain shouted. "Don''t wait for the fireball to clear. Follow with every single neutron elerator we have and keep firing the rails until you can get a clear shot with the beams!"

    "Target destroyed!" the tactical officer shouted, "Repeat! Target destroyed!"

    The bridge cheered.

    "Silence!" the captain shouted. "We still have targets!"

    ***

    Jessica Morgan looked at her screen, her face ashen.

    "Fuck," she said after a few seconds.

    "What did you manage to get?" she asked the thin pale figure floating on a darkened bridge.

    "Well, I was pretty far away," the piper replied, "But the Argents are NOT standard Federation tech. For one thing, their point defense is insane and <em>smart</em>. I suspect AI close to Republic levels. The Angelsunched every single tube, and <em>nothing</em> hit their shields. The firepower easily <em>exceeds</em> their battleships. I''ve never seen anything like it. They have fucking <em>broadsides</em>. The <em>Angel''s Fury</em>, Gwen''s gship, onlysted <em>seconds</em>. They didn''t even need to use their beams. They got railguns."

    <em>" Railguns?!?"</em> Jessica eximed in disbelief, "The fucking Feds?!?"

    "And they are <em>spicy</em>," the Piper of Azathoth replied, "and that''s not the worst part."

    "It gets worse?"

    "Much," the piper replied, "The point defense <em>detonated</em> the nukes, not just took them out."

    <em>" How?!?"</em>

    "They somehow have neutron beams urate enough to hit a missile in flight and with enough flux and enough energy to cause full detonation of the pit. If anything, it''s better than the detonators they came with. I know because they used them offensively on Gwen''s ship."

    "Are you sure?"

    "It''s in the data," the piper replied, "have your guys look at it, but I''m <em>telling</em> you¡­ no nukes against an Argent."

    "Ny-seven to four..." Jessica groaned, "and we werepletely wiped out¡­ <em>The Angels</em>¡­ GODDAMMIT!!!"

    "One more thing you need to know," the piper replied, "I wasn''t alone out there."

    "Was it the fucking Veiled Ones?" Jessica hissed.

    "Nope. Kalent," the piper replied, "Their scaly little swishes were all over."

    "That exins the tech," Jessica said calmly. "Doesn''te as a surprise. They finally decided toe off of some of their toys¡­ Stop tailing the Argents. I don''t want them to spot you and realize we know what we do."

    "Excuse me?" the piperughed.

    "Someone else was cocky today," Jessica replied, "And you saw what happened to her. Back off. I will have another assignment for you soon."

    "Sure thing, boss."

    The line went dead.

    Jessica buried her face in her hands. Weakening the most egregious of the Confederacy members ("Forsaken" is just branding) was the n, but it didn''t make it any easier, even if it was necessary in the long run.

    It still didn''t make it any less unpleasant. She had known Gwen for over a hundred years. She was what she was, but she was a stand-up woman and could be counted upon.

    She wanted the Angels pruned, not gutted. They still had ships, and without Gwen''s leadership keeping them in line, things were worse, not better.

    It wouldn''t be <em>the</em> ck Angels. It would be dozens of them. Most of their senior leadership was in that raid. All of them wanted a piece of that haul. Too many ships in one fucking ce...

    ...out of pure greed.

    She sighed heavily. The only thing she could do now was whip them up into a frenzy and drive them into the Federation fleet and finish the job. The ck Angels, one of her strongest ns, was done¡­

    ...in <em>moments</em>.

    She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. The only thing they could do about the Argents was run¡­

    She opened her eyes, and they shone evilly.

    There was nothing they could do for now.

    Things change, and they would. But she had to survive until then.

    She tapped at her keyboard.

    A few momentster, an old <em>Republic</em> admiral appeared.

    "What the fuck, Jess?" he demanded. "You''re calling me <em>at work?!?</em> You know they are watching everyone these days! They won''t be able to crack the call, but they will fucking know why they can''t!"

    "Your bosses won''t mind this time," Jessica replied, "Besides, they know we used to¡­ know each other¡­ It''s good to see you again, Brian."

    "Likewise," he replied and paused. "I know that look, Jess. What happened?"

    "Nearly a hundred ck Angels fully loaded with nuclearpliance tubes went up against four of the new Argent ss. One hundred percent casualties, including Gwen. She''s dead, Brian."

    "¡­ Fuuuuuuuck..."

    "It wasn''t even a fight," Jessica said grimly, "It was a ughter. The Kalent finally turned loose some of their tech. It was spears versus machine guns out there. The reason I am calling is that I had a spy ship on the edge of the system. I got the whole engagement."

    "You did?!?"

    "Yeah," Jessica said with a sigh. "It''s pretty grim, but I''m sending it now. You guys need to know about these things. They are a real threat to anything you have. Have your guys go over the data and have the monoliths chew on it."

    "And in return?"

    "I want to know what you know," Jessica replied, "Nothing is invincible. They have a weakness, and we need to know what it is, both of us."

    "Deal. The brass won''t like it, but you have a deal. I want something, though."

    "Name it."

    "I want your data on all Federation assets. I know you have shit we don''t."

    "¡­ Deal."

    "I''m sorry about Gwen, Jess."

    "Me too."

    There was a pounding on his door.

    "Looks like the guys with guns are here," he smirked. "Later."

    After the call ended, Jessica frowned.

    There was one more call she had to make¡­

    ***

    Gwen Shay (the only one left) was ying "spaceship" with Vee with a murder-borer pup clinging to her back as they both held model ships and were weaving them back and forth.

    "And you just blew up," Gwen said with augh.

    "Nuh-uh!"

    "That turn you just made was way too tight. You just exceed the structural integrity of your ship! You are either in a million pieces, or you are so fucked up that you are easing pickings¡­

    Gwen started poking and tickling Vee.

    "Pew, pew, pew!" she said as Vee giggled.

    Arissa, her "Guardian Angel", walked up, her eyes red and swollen.

    "Um¡­ Gwen?" Arissa said in a grave voice.

    Gwen''s blood ran cold with one look in Arissa''s eyes.

    "What?" she asked in a frightened voice.

    ***

    "Ok, traitor, you''re free to go," Agent [emailprotected]@ said to the Palg.

    "R-really?"

    "Yep," Xree said, "Trap''s sprung. Bad guys go boom. You get to go home, and so do we."

    "Finally!" his fellow agent eximed. "Do you have any idea how many dates I''ve missed?"

    "Chastity builds character," Xree snorted.

    "The fuck it does!" his friend eximed, "Another day and I would have seduced <em>you</em>!"

    "Then you would have to answer to my fiance," Xree replied with augh, "You would have a hard time gettingid without a pee-pee."

    He red at the Palg.

    "What the fuck are you still doing here, <em>traitor?"</em> Xree snarled. "Go before I change my mind about gutting you."

    With a strangled yelp, the Palg fled.

    After he left, the other agent turned to Xree.

    "And we are just going to let him go?" he asked, "After he coborated with the fucking Forsaken, after what they''ve done?"

    "Yep," Xree smiled maliciously and pulled out his phone, switching it to an unsecured line. He called the Capital City police.

    "Dispatch," a uniformed avian replied.

    "Yes," Xree smiled, "I am Senior Agent [emailprotected]@ with Federation Intelligence. I am sending your credentials now."

    "Yes!" a much more alert officer eximed as they preened their feathers, "How can I help! Do you need to speak to someone?"

    "You''ll do just fine."

    "Really?!?" the officer eximed excitedly, "How can I help?"

    "I need you to inform the appropriate parties that the Palg, known as Yulip Bik, is an informant and intelligence asset for the Federation and has been instrumental in recent operations against the Forsaken. We consider him a valuable asset and request that any criminal activity undertaken by this individual be disregarded and referred to our department. We''ll keep him in line."

    "Yes, Agent!" the officer eximed, "Um¡­ I mean, Senior Agent!"

    "Thank you," Xree replied, "I know I can count on you."

    "You can!" the officer chirped they were so excited. "I won''t let you down, Senior Agent!"

    "I know you won''t," Xree replied, "Take care, officer."

    "You too!"

    Hispanion looked at him, his mouth slightly agape.

    "Youplete and utter bastard."

    "He''s a fucking traitor," Xree replied, "He doesn''t deserve a cushy Federation prison cell. He was responsible for the death of Gwen Shay herself, and lord knows how many other ck Angels. Let them handle his¡­ <em>rehabilitation."</em>

    "But.."

    "Wee to special division," Xree replied. "Hey, you hungry? There is this great diner that is still open. They make the best sausage."

    "I''ll pass."

    "Your loss," Xree shrugged. "See you tomorrow."

    Whistling, Xree casually loped out of the safe house, leaving a deeply disturbed reptile who flopped down onto the couch.

    "What have I gotten into?" he asked nobody in particr.

    ***

    "Comfy?" Gwen said to a terrified Palg as she tied him to an X-shaped frame in her bedroom.

    "Please!" the Palg pled, "I had no choice!"

    "Mmm-hmm..." Gwen replied, her eyes sparkling.

    He whimpered as he looked into them. They were <em>horrifying</em>.

    "You did have a choice, you know," Gwen replied sweetly as she gently booped him on the snout. "You could have refused and spent your life in a nice Federation prison¡­ But instead, you decided to kill my gram gram."

    She kissed his forehead.

    He involuntarily evacuated his waste.

    "Now there are good choices, and there are bad choices," Gwen said as the words "Prepare for jump." were announced over a speaker. "And killing my gram gram was what we like to call a <em>bad choice</em>," she snarled as she pried his eyelids open and red.

    "But it''s ok," she smiled as she released him, "Because I''m going to give you the opportunity to make it up to me."

    <em>Jumping in 3¡­ 2¡­ 1¡­ Jump!</em>

    The ship shuddered slightly.

    "Anything!" the Palg squealed in terror.

    "There is something I''ve just been <em>dying</em> to try, and you could help me."

    She smiled at him.

    "Do you want to help me?" she asked sweetly.

    "Yes!" the Palg squealed, <em>"Anything!"</em>

    Gwen walked casually to a small control panel next to the shuttered observation dome and traced her fingers over the switches.

    "Great!" she enthused as she pressed them¡­

    "You get to be my <em>boyfriend."</em>

 Chapter 197: Oh no...

    Chapter 197: Oh no...

    Becky (Wherever you go, there is always a Becky. This one is one of Gwen''s "glee squad") sprinted down the corridor towards a section of the ship she REALLY didn''t want to be in right now.

    Rounding the corner, she saw Vee, with her puppy clinging to her back and a toy spaceship in hand, standing on tip-toe and repeatedly mashing a door control panel with a frown on her face.

    "Vee!" Becky eximed in rm.

    "Door''s broke," Vee said unhappily.

    "It''s not broken, sweetie," Becky said as she reached Vee and started ushering her down the corridor, "It''s locked."

    "Why?"

    "Because we <em>always</em> lock the corridor to Gwen''s room when we jump," Becky said as she picked up the pace, almost dragging Vee along. "you know that."

    "But I want to y spaceship!" Vee eximed petntly.

    "I''ll y spaceship with you," Becky said with a forced smile as she hurriedly rounded a corner.

    "You don''t do it right."

    "Well, you will just have to wait until Gwenes out, then."

    "Why?"

    "Um..." Becky replied uncertainly, "hyperspace is Gwen''s alone time, and we need to respect that."

    "The whole jump?"

    "Yes," Becky said firmly, "the whole jump. We''ve covered this before, Vee. It''s a ship''s rule, and you can''t break those, understand?"

    "But doesn''t she get lonely?"

    "Um..." Becky winced, "I''m sure she''s just fine."

    ***

    Surrounded by swirling and boiling impossible colors and shapes, an unidentifiable mass of flesh writhed on a bed, arms and legs sticking out in random ces, huge chunks disappearing and reappearing randomly.

    Squeals of pleasure and wild howls echoed through the chamber¡­

    ¡­ and screaming¡­ lots of screaming¡­

    The entire mass shuddered violently, and Gwen''s face appeared in the middle of one of the gaping holes in the sponge-like mass.

    As she emerged, leaving behind a creature that one might be able to identify as a Palg (or at least something that might be in one of their horror movies) behind, she rolled on her side and embraced it.

    It hugged back.

    "Now <em>that</em> was better than the teddy bear!"

    The creature hugged her back, emitting a low keening sound as its eyes glowed¡­

    ¡­ and screams still echoed through the chamber.

    Gwen smiled. The sounds and shapes the screaming made as it ripped through hyperspace were quite pretty.

    "Better getfortable, screamy," she chuckled as she and the creature kissed, their eyes zing intensely. "This jump is going to take four days."

    ***

    Jessica Morgan sat in front of her wall of screens, each disying a different face.

    "Good morning," she said pleasantly as she sipped from her priceless ancient Corelle teacup.

    A chorus of greetings filled the room.

    "Now we have a lot of information to cover today," Jessica said, "and while it is normally the case with all of these briefings, the information covered today is of an especially confidential nature."

    "Then what the fuck am I doing here?" Helena Stirling demanded.

    "Because, while you are quite the darling little gadfly," Jessica Morgan replied, "you have more sense than many in this room. You won''t betray your people to the Federation. There is another reason that will be clear very soon."

    Jessica Morgan sipped her tea.

    "By the way," Jessica said with a smile, "you got balls suiting up and going to the red zones. Not a lot of people would do that."

    "You go where the story is," Helena shrugged, "and ''the story'' sure as Hell wasn''t up there in the homestead ships unless you want to hear about a darling little girl who misses Bunny Crunch and thinks that the new ''PE sses'' are a bunch more fun than the old ones again."

    "I loved that story!" Sebastian Morgan enthused, "it really put a ''human'' face on us, made us rtable to a good 83% of the Federation species!"

    "Well, I''m d the propaganda goons approve of my fine work," Helena snarked, "It makes it all worthwhile."

    "And on a personal note," Sebastian snickered, "The interview with her mother was <em>hrious!"</em>

    The room broke out into chuckles, even Jessica. Helena grinned wickedly.

    "I''ve wanted to get my hooks into that bitch for a while," she said with malicious satisfaction.

    "Huh?"

    "Long story," Helena replied.

    "Hey, Helena," Sebastian said after a moment.

    "No."

    "You could do a lot of good, you know," Sebastian said.

    "I would rather sit on a pinecone," Helena replied, "than write a piece extolling the virtues of fucking Gwen Shay, calling her a ''hero of the Forsaken''! The woman was pure trash, a <em>monster</em>, the worst of¡ª"

    Her voice trailed off as the room broke out inughter.

    "Oh, shit..." Helena said as she realized that <em>all</em> of the heads of the other houses were on that very same call. "I mean¡­ I didn''t <em>know</em> her¡­ I''m sure she was¡­ I mean, I''m <em>sure</em> she could be¡­" (Even Helena has her limits.)

    "No," A woman with an ornate skull painted on her faceughed, "you report facts, and those are the facts. Gwen was <em>awful!</em>. Remember the time with the babies?"

    The room burst intoughter again.

    "Break out the grills and pass out the pills!" a man wearing a long leather coat and cuss yelled.

    "It''s party time!" the group yelled in reply.

    Jessica smiled and sipped her tea as valuable time was wasted as the group shared tales about Gwen.

    She shook her head.

    She was <em>awful</em>, but you had to admit the crazy bitch had style, just like her namesake.

    Helena sat there, wide-eyed, as the stories flowed.

    "She¡­ She <em>really</em> did that?!?" she gasped in horror.

    "My men and I were right there," a woman in an expensive suit smirked, "kind of hard to miss <em>that</em>. Hey, give me a call after this, and I will tell you about the <em>real</em> Gwen Shay, not that cotton candy fluff propaganda is doling out. A proper bitch deserves a proper memorial."

    Helena was pelted with the contact information of <em>most of the heads of the houses of the Confederacy of Sol!!!</em>

    "Um¡­ General..." Sebastian Morgan said nervously, "I''m not sure that''s the best idea." Jessica shrugged.

    "We need ouws as well as we need heroes," Jessica replied, "and nobody is going to believe that Gwen Shay was a good person. She was an <em>animal</em>, especially back during the Wars. You know what, Helena, call me too. I have a few stories about that bitch that might not have seen the light of day before."

    Helena just nodded and vibrated with excitement. There are exclusives, and there are exclusives¡­

    ¡­ and then there is what just fell into herp!

    "Don''t remind me," an old naval officer chuckled, "she waspletely unmanageable, as crazy as she was beautiful."

    "She was beautiful?" Helena asked in surprise.

    The room agreed in unison.

    "Absolutely stunning," the naval officer replied. "Pity she was irredeemably insane and tended to eat her lovers."

    "No wonder," a silver-haired woman wearing ab coat emzoned with medals. "Do you remember when we first brought her in? She was a walking prion! I''ve never seen a case as bad as hers. Zombies had better dietary habits."

    "I wonder if prion disease can be inherited," an old Marine mused, "It would exin that whole fucked-up family. All of them were nuts."

    Jessica froze, all color draining from her face.

    <em>No¡­ nonononononononono¡­.</em>

    "Sure it can," the woman in theb coat replied, "There are several cases of prion-triggered gic mutation. In fact, it was the cause of several very serious diseases earlier in our history. It an autosomal..."

    The sound just faded to a faint buzzing as Jessica sat there, stunned.

    <em>No¡­</em>

    It made too much sense. Marakovich and his crew were smaller but every bit as bad as the Angels when it came to ''supplementing'' their diets, and the other void gazers were from the most vicious of raider gangs.

    She started quickly typing and frantically flicking her mouse back and forth¡­

    <em>All</em> of them were treated for prion diseases, in many cases multiple ones¡­

    ...but one strain stood out even at first nce, Unk-88-9. It was never clearly identified or cataloged. They had much more pressing concerns at the time, and it responded to standard treatment protocols¡­

    Or so they thought¡­

    It was so <em>obvious</em>! Why hadn''t they seen it?

    <em>Because you all didn''t want to.</em> Jessica twitched. The ''future of humanity'' may just be based on some of the most deplorable practices imaginable. If that''s the case, then what will that future be?

    <em>They all crave "meat" sooner orter...</em>

    An icy dread started to take hold.

    "General¡­ General?..."

    "Morgan!" someone shouted in that special tone that would get anyone in the military''s immediate attention for the rest of their life.

    "Wha?" Jessica said, returning to the somewhat less horrible real world.

    "Are we going to start this meeting or what?"

    "Yeah," Jessica said foggily as she, slightly shaking, rose, "Something hase up. We have to reschedule."

    "Reschedule <em>this</em> briefing?" someone wearing a Morgan Securities zer said in disbelief, "You realize we are discussing the Argent data, right?"

    "Then discuss it!" Jessica snapped, "Jesus, fuck! Do I have to hold your hands the whole goddamn time?"

    With that, Jessica fled the room, mming the door behind her.

    Terrence smiled a thin smile, nodded to the group, and followed.

    "Well, itsted longer than I thought it would," an old man shrugged.

    "What?" someone else replied.

    "''Fearless Leader'' staying on the wagon," the old man smirked.

    "No," an old general said gravely, "I''ve known her since the beginning. She wasn''t on anything. It''s worse."

    "What is it?"

    "She said the God''s honest truth," the old general said grimly, <em>"Something else</em> has happened that made her nearly piss herself. I''ve never seen her look like that, ever, not even when the Terrans made it to the nobatant stations."

    "W-what do we do?" Sebastian Morgan asked in fear.

    "We do our jobs." the old general said. "We go over this data, try to find¡­ something¡­ and you try to put a positive spin on us getting our asses handed to us. That is what we are going to do. Wee to the grown-up''s table, Golden Boy."

    "Am I still supposed to be in here?" Helena asked,pletely confused.

    "I have no fucking idea, the General replied," Jessica obviously brought you here for some reason but damned if I know what it is. Just¡­ just stick around, and maybe we''ll find out. Jessica usually has reasons for what she does¡­ usually..."

    ***

    Jessica burst into her room and rushed to a mirror, breaking it.

    Behind it was a safe.

    Her hand trembling slightly, she started to reach for the keypad.

    The door to her room unlocked and opened, revealing Terrence.

    "Terrence!" she eximed.

    Terrence entered the room, closing and locking the door.

    He pulled out an artfully engraved cigarette case.

    "Ma''am," Terrence replied with an even voice, "may I offer you this instead?"

    He opened the case to reveal some expertly rolled joints.

    Jessica took a joint and, between trembling fingers, lit it, drawing heavily.

    "You know, don''t you?" she asked when she finally inhaled.

    "I have the same suspicion as you," he said, "why else would I be handing you that?

    Jessica took another long toke and then offered it to Terrence, who nodded primly and took it.

    ***

    "Do we know for certain that all of them were infected?" Terrence asked as he lit another joint.

    "Yeah," Jessica said as she lounged on the couch, looking at the ceiling. "Every single fucking one of them, and they all were infected by a (heh) get this, an ultra-rare ultra obscure strain that wasn''t even named properly. How the fuck did we miss this? I tell you, Terrence, when I get straight, somebody''s head is going to fucking <em>roll!"</em>

    "If I may," he said as he epted the joint, "it might be in your best interest to keep this to yourself, at least for now. These individuals are already suspect. If it is believed that they are directly connected to cannibalism, it will make things¡­ problematic."

    "Good point," Jessica said as she took the joint back. "Besides," Terrence said, "we don''t even know if this is a real link or just another promising dead end. We don''t know if this is the key to all this."

    "Promising lead," Jessica snickered, "I could have used you back in the Sol Wars."

    "I''ll take that in the spirit it was intended," Terrence said dryly.

    "And I <em>know</em> this is the link," Jessica said calmly, still looking at the ceiling, "Do you want to know why? Because that sick, twisted, demented Creator of this¡­ <em>fucked up</em> gxy would do something <em>exactly like that</em>¡­"

    She took another toke.

    "Well, I hope it at least finds all of this entertaining..." Jessica muttered as she raised the joint once again to her lips, "Shit," she said, extending the joint to Terrence. "Sorry, Terrence, I forgot that..."

    She chuckled to see Terrence with his own freshly lit joint between his fingers.

    "It''s quite alright, ma''am," he said with a smile.

    Jessica took another deep draw on her joint, nearly consuming it.

    <em>" Future of humanity..."</em> she muttered. "God fucking dammit."

    "Well," Terrence said calmly, "at least they won''t go hungry."

    Jessica burst intoughter.

    "What the fuck are you?"

    "I am whatever you require me to be," Terrence replied as he inhaled deeply.

    ***

    Across the gxy, surrounded by swirling colors and screams, Gwen and her new lover faced each other, inches apart, as Gwen took his hands in hers, guiding one of his to her waist.

    Pleasant music, distorted by what passed for space-time there, and apanied by anguished screams, filled the room.

    "Now, <em>this</em> one we call a waltz," she said as she smiled sweetly.

    ***

    Author''s note: I''ve been called out by our favorite scientist concerning a little detail.

    The existing prion diseases I referenced (and nced briefly over when I checked if prion diseases could be inherited) result from mutations making prions, not prions making mutations.

    There are no currently known prions that do that. If fact, it would be <em>highly unlikely</em>.

    However, being a better bullshitter than a scientist, I replied that a prion <em>could</em> cause a change to the <em>epigenome</em> because literally <em>anything</em> can do that, so it''s still "sci-fi usible" AND preserves my story even with the research goof...

    So it still <em>could</em> be (ande on, we all know it is) a major contributing factor to the void gazer''s appearance.

 Chapter 198: Jeruzz on the Carpet

    Chapter 198: Jeruzz on the Carpet

    Jeruzz "stood" in the office with his nose pointed downward.

    "Four days, Jeruzz," Gavin said gravely. "Four days."

    "I''m thorry," Jeruzz said meekly.

    "I''m thorry isn''t going to cut it this time," Gavin said with a sigh and a shake of his head. "Do the words ''No call. No show.'' mean anything to you?"

    "No..."

    "It means <em>you abandoned your job</em>, Jeruzz. You, for all intents and purposes, <em>quit</em>." Gavin said with a very serious voice, "Goddamnit, Jeruzz. This¡­¡±

    "Are you firing meeee?!?" Jeruzz asked with true desperation in his voice.

    "To be perfectly honest," Gavin said, "I should."

    Jeruzz started to weep. It was over. He blew it.

    "But, I told you when you signed up that I give everyone one fuck up," Gavin said. "This <em>is</em> your fuck up. You aren''t fired, but Jeruzz, I have a business to run here and dozens of employees on the floor right now. If I keep cutting you ck, everyone will expect the same. I can''t have that. I have hundreds of orders I''m trying to fill, and I need you at your desk. Linda had to cover your ck, pulling her off the floor where I needed her..."

    Gavin looked at Jeruzz gravely.

    "I counted on you, Jeruzz, and you let me down."

    Jeruzz felt like he couldn''t breathe.

    "And over what," Gavin continued relentlessly, "a fucking chipmunk?"

    "I''m not sure whath it wasth..." Jeruzz said, looking back at a lump in his body.

    "You climbed out of your bedroom window, had Linda scouring the yard looking for you¡­ then had her looking for her dog¡­ her cat..."

    "I wouldth never!" Jeruzz eximed.

    "You were willing to endanger your job," Gavin said, "With your mom and family back home¡­ If you were willing to do that, you understand her concern, right?"

    Jeruzz nodded, feeling like an inchworm.

    "I know you are ''different''," Gavin said with a sigh, "but if you were a human, do you know what I would think?"

    "No..."

    "I would think you were on something," Gavin said, "That you had a problem."

    "Drugsth?" Jeruzz asked in horror.

    "Skipping out of work, passed out for days?" Gavin said, "That''s what it has always been in the past. In your case, it <em>might</em> be different because you are so malnourished. You might just have finally found real food or something. All I know is that your people say what you are doing is a bad idea, and maybe I''m seeing why."

    "I''ll stopth!" Jeruzz cried desperately, "I promiseth!"

    "I''ve heard all sorts of promises before, Jeruzz," Gavin replied.

    He facepalmed.

    "This is all new territory," he sighed, "I''ve never hired a xeno before, and I''m starting to see why so many people refuse to do it. Jeruzz¡­ I..."

    "Pleaseth don''th judge othersth because of meeee!" Jeruzz cried, ¡°I¡¯m just a¡­ a¡­ a thupid fuck-upth¡­ a dumb snaketh¡­¡±

    ¡°No," Gavin replied, "You aren''t. You''re a bright kid with a lot to offer. This is just some weird xeno shit we have to figure out..."

    They both fell silent.

    "I''m going to get you back on disability," Gavin said after a moment. "You tried toe back to work, and you just weren''t able to do it. I''ll¡­ I''ll sort it out with the Nation and the insurance... somehow... I think Littlegull can help. She likes you. You go and sort yourself out, eat some squirrels or some shit until your tongue grows back. If you still have an ''issue'' then we will get you some help. You aren''t the first employee I''ve had with a little ''problem''. It will give me time to figure out what I''m going to do with you, and it will keep the credits going to your family."

    "You woudth do thath for me?"

    "I''ve done more for less promising people," Gavin replied. "If nothing else, we can adjust your employment status and workdays so you can both eat and work. You wouldn''t make as much, but you could still send home money and probably live ok. You would be saving a bundle on groceries, right?"

    Jeruzzughed weakly.

    "You know what?" Gavin replied, "Hang on."

    He pulled out his phone.

    "Hi grandmother," he said, "¡­ oh pretty good¡­ Yeah, still getting my ass kicked. How about you?¡­ Hey, could you do me a favor? I would like you to meet someone¡­ Heh, not like that. I have an employee, a non-human one¡­ Yes, the snake. Look, here''s the deal. He''s on disability, so he can''t ''work,'' but there is no rule that says he can''t get training. Do you think you could teach him some stuff, maybe see what he''s good at? I just know he''s good at <em>something</em>, but¡­ Yes. I am familiar with ''The Old Woman and the Snake''. He''s not venomous, and you do have a problem with rats¡­ Yes, he¡­ well, it''splicated¡­ Would you at least meet him?¡­ Thanks, grandmother. See you soon. Bye."

    Gavin put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Jeruzz, who was looking up at him hopefully.

    "I''ve just cut you the solid of all solids," Gavin said with a smile, "My grandmother is a master¡­ well¡­ master everything, and she has agreed to <em>maybe</em>, just <em>maybe</em>, let you train with her until you heal."

    "She will?" Jeruzz asked, wide-eyed.

    "You have no idea how big a deal this is," Gavin said. "There are a LOT of people who would give anything for this opportunity. Don''t fuck it up. We are heading there now. If she likes the looks of you, she will let you tail her, and she <em>might</em> show you a thing or two. It won''t be paid, because of disability. It will be considered ''training'', but it''s legit. Even Littlegull won''t object to this."

    Gavin headed to the door.

    "Come on," he said, "We''re going now before she changes her mind."

    ***

    Less than an hourter, Gavin wasnding his grav-truck in front of a small timber-framed cottage out in the woods with arge concrete block building behind it.

    An old woman with long hair, wearing a fleece-lined denim shirt and jeans, stepped out to meet them.

    "Now just be yourself," Gavin said reassuringly, "and don''t lie about anything. She''ll know and that will be that, understand."

    "Yesth, thir."

    "Let''s go," Gavin said with a smile, "Oh, and Jeruzz?"

    "Yesth?"

    "Try not to break anything."

    ***

    Jeruzz sat curled around a bowl of tea while Gavin and his grandmother talked in another room¡­

    ...about him.

    He dipped his mouth into the bowl and took a bite of tea.

    Something sparkly caught his eye.

    On the shelf was a beautiful crystal¡­ thingy.

    He was captivated. He simply had to get a better look¡­

    <em>crash</em>

    "Goddammit, Jeruzz!" Gavin shouted as he rushed into the room, his grandmother following. "What are you doing?"

    "Nothingth?" Jeruzz said innocently as heid on his back in the middle of the floor, his tea bowl upside down beside him. However, the crystal figurine was untouched.

    He never got that far.

    "And you let this into your shop?" the old womanughed. "What were you thinking?"

    "Look, he''s a good guy," Gavin said, "And he really needed a job."

    "Needing a job and deserving one are two different things, boy."

    "Just give him a chance," Gavin said imploringly, "for me? You will see what I''m talking about. I''m telling you, gran, there is something there."

    The old woman just chuckled and shook her head.

    "Ok," she said.

    "Yay!" Jeruzz cheered as he rolled over onto his belly. "You won''th be thorry!"

    "Oh I will," the old womanughed, "and more than once but let''s see if this damn fool grandson of mine is right or not."

    She knelt down to look Jeruzz in the eye.

    "Alright, here''s the deal," she said. "You can hang out here and help out if you want. If you aren''t aplete waste of time, I <em>might</em> show you a thing or two if I feel like it. If you clean up after yourself and look after the ce, you can stay in my spare room. I understand you''ve developed a little wild game problem. I don''t care. Come and go as you please but when you are here, you will stay out of the way, out of trouble, and do what I tell you. Understand?"

    "Yesth, ma''am."

    "And don''t go pestering me for lessons or any of that shit," the old woman growled, "I''ll show you stuff if I feel like it when I feel like it. This ain''t trade school, boy. Got it?"

    <em>She called me ''boy''!</em> Jeruzz thought with pure joy, <em>Just like a human!</em>

    "Ok," she said, rising to her feet and turning to Gavin, "I''ve agreed to look after the thing. If this turns out like that story, it''s your ass."

    "Yes, grandmother," Gavin said with a smile.

    "Don''t you have a shop that you dropped out of school to run?" the old woman said gruffly.

    "Not going to let that one go, are you?" Gavin chuckled.

    "Get going, you fucking dropout," the old woman smiled as she hugged him. "I''ll take good care of the snake."

    "Thanks, grandmother," Gavin said as he put on his hat.

    He turned to Jeruzz.

    "Now, what <em>aren''t</em> you going to do?"

    "Fuck this upth?" Jeruzz replied.

    "Remember that," Gavin smiled as he walked out the door.

    After he left, the old woman turned to Jeruzz.

    "Name''s Doreen," she said. "Clean up your tea and thene out to the shop. I''m working on a custom hunting rifle. You might find it interesting."

    "Yesth, ma''am!"

    ***

    Two days passed quite pleasantly and with no incidents aside from knocked-over materials and a container of screws flying across the floor.

    The next morning Doreen walked into Jeruzz''s room.

    "Alright, you goddamn menace," she said cheerfully, "Coffee''s brewed, and I made eggs. Daylight''s wast¡ª"

    She chuckled.

    Jeruzz was gone, and the window was open.

    "That''s going to really piss me offe winter," she smirked as she pulled the window closed. "Maybe I should put in a pet door or something."

    She paused and smiled as she realized she was already nning on not giving Jeruzz back.

    ***

    In the woods, not far from her home, something slithered silently through the forest, its feral eyes gleaming in the light...

    ...and it was <em>hungry</em>.

 Chapter 199: The Baroness and the Mail Order Bride.

    Chapter 199: The Baroness and the Mail Order Bride.

    In an elegant establishment on Garthranz, Uhrrbet''s homeworld, crystal flutes filled with expensive sparkling Varteen and sses of a bewildering array of sizes and shapes filled with the expensive and intricate cocktails for which they were specifically designed shone in the light as tes of dozens of different sizes made of intricate ceramic piece work joined in kintsugi fashion bore meals that were more art than sustenance.

    Overhead, crystal chandeliers shone brightly as a horde of servers bustled among the tables of the privileged.

    Not every grey had beenid low by the Ponzi scheme, and for those who survived, the times that followed were very good indeed. Those with the capital and know-how devoured the fallen and cabals or, in some cases, outright monopolies now ruled Garthranz business and industry.

    For those few, it was truly the beginnings of a gilded age, and the tables were filled with rich, pampered, and happy grays smiling as they indulged themselves on a pleasant night out¡­

    ...all but one.

    Under the tablecloth, Marruna swatted one of the seemingly endless paws of her "suitor" away from her skirts once again.

    "Stoppit!" she hissed.

    The creature posing as one of her species just leered and grabbed at an elegantly dressed server who expertly evaded his grasping paw.

    "Hey, beautiful," he drooled, "Get us another bottle!"

    "Yes, sir," she said with only the barest flicker of an eye roll.

    Nearby tables rolled their eyes more unabashedly, hissed, and muttered. Vkkart was an unmannerly, loathsome troll and one of the <em>only</em> "eligible" Garthra of marriageable age anywhere on the (or anywhere else, for that matter).

    Even with all of his father''s wealth, he was simply too much. Garthras had actually drowned themselves rather than subject themselves to a lifetime with him.

    Marruna was only here at the insistence of her uncle, to whom she was a bit indebted, who wanted to make a deal with the turd''s father.

    <em>" I said stoppit!"</em> she hissed as she yanked his hand away again.

    "C''mon, beautiful," Vkkart whispered, his snout getting far too close, "let me get a little feel of what I''m buying."

    Oh, <em>hell</em> no.

    "You aren''t <em>buying</em> anything!" Marruna hissed. "I''m only here because my fool of an uncle wants to make a deal with your dick of a father and your dick of a father is enamored with the idea of a title."

    "Oh please," he replied, his hand bing more insistent, "This is probably the only good meal you''ve had in months. At least pay me properly for it."

    <em>twitch</em>

    Screw it¡­ and her uncle. She would sell off some more shit. The middle ss was eating that stuff up, and the market was finally warming up a little.

    "I''m telling you," she hissed, "if you don''t withdraw your hand <em>right now</em>, you <em>are</em> going to regret it."

    "What are you going to do," he sneered as he tried to find his way past one of the slits in the overdress her uncle <em>insisted</em> that she wear. "You don''t want to cause a scene, do y¡ª"

    "I warned you!" Marruna shouted loud enough for everyone to hear as she, in one fluid motion, seized a snail skewer from the dozens of pieces of silverware and thrust it under the tablecloth.

    Vkkart shrieked as he jerked his hand away, the skewer shining in the light of the chandeliers as it protruded from his skin.

    At a nearby table, young Dalmma quickly pulled out her phone and started filming.

    "Dalmma," her mother said firmly as she pushed her daughter''s phone down, "No."

    Marruna lept to her feet and pulled out a surprisinglyrge stic bag from her bejeweled purse (already partially filled with appetizers).

    "You are a cad without culture and whose breeding is purely idental!" she shouted as she dumped an entire steamed scale crawler into the bag, scandalizing the room.

    "I curse you, the family who brought you into this world, and my fool of an uncle who browbeat me into allowing you to court me!" she eximed as she dumped the entire glittering tray of bread into the looter''s bag she brought. "You are not only unmarriable, you are intolerable, loathsome to the extreme!"

    "Oh, go and kill yourself already, you celess beggar!" Vkkart shouted as he pulled the skewer from his hand.

    Marruna''s face twitched a little.

    More and more phones were being held aloft. This was too good! A scandal! Here?

    "I would rather no ce than my ''ce'' being that I was attached to my father''s <em>dick</em> like a <em>suckling babe!"</em> Marruna shouted causing the room to gasp. "Pray tell, how much is your allowance, little boy?"

    Marruna seized the nearly full bottle of expensive sparkling wine from the table.

    "And I <em>do</em> have a <em>ce!"</em> Marruna said as she ranted, now at the room, as she stomped towards the exit. "¡ªI have a home and staff who <em>rely on me</em> and-"

    <em>" You are nothing but a squatter squatting with other squatters in YOUR FAMILY''S TOMB!"</em> Vkkart shrieked back. "Your uncle told us all about you¡­you squatter¡­ you¡­ <em>ghoul</em>¡­¡±

    Marruna stopped.

    "Please, <em>sir,"</em> she hissed dangerously as she sat down the doggy bag and started to remove her earrings. "I apologize, but I seem to have misheard you. Did you say something?"

    Dalmma''s mother quickly pulled out her phone.

    "You heard me," Vkkart yelled, "lingering past death, lurking in your parent''s home¡­ <em>WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN STINKING UP THE SAKKVIN WITH THE REST OF THOSE FOOLS, YOUR MOTHER, YOUR FATHER, YOUR SISTER, YOUR BROTHERS...</em>"

    Marruna thrust the hand holding the wine towards a server.

    "Could you hold this for me for just a moment..."

    ***

    "Uhrrbet!" Gv''lora gasped at the tableden with fresh fruits, savory meats, candied bugs, and sweets of every descriptionid out before her. "how did you manage all of this?"

    "I''m starting my new business, and my loan came in!" Uhrrbet lied as she smiled, thinking of the Harkeen looking up at her with helpless rage fading to fear as she pulled the trigger. "I thought a celebration was in order."

    "Bah," her Rtoon ndlord" (the guy who actually had the lease) scoffed, "You should put this in your business, not wasting it on us, not until your first sale at least."

    "But I already have my first sale!" Uhrrbet eximed untruthfully, "I have an order for a custom outfit from one of the people at The Drop of Oil."

    She offered him a skewer of fresh watermelon, his favorite.

    "Can you cease being grumpy for just one meal?" she asked as she tempted him with it.

    She then opened one of several bottles of Martinelle Sparkling Apple Cider, produced for over a thousand years (with a ten-year break, of course), and filled everyone''s sses.

    "On my homeworld," she said, "before everyone starts a meal," she said smiling at the bat-like Dokk who had already dived in, "we have a custom of raising our sses and the host making a very short speech."

    "Better be," the Rtoon grumbled.

    "Oh, be quiet and let her speak," Gv''lora said as she yfully tugged at her friend''s (they shared the same bedroom kind of friend) ear.

    "When we first came here," Uhrrbet said, her voice filling with emotion, "We were lost, alone, adrift¡­ We had <em>nothing</em>¡­ <em>no one</em>¡­ and¡­ and you all took us in. You all took us in even though we had <em>nothing</em>. You brought us into your life¡­ your family¡­ asking very little in return and forgiving when we didn''t even have that¡­ I..."

    Uhrrbet paused to collect herself, her chest hitching.

    "I don''t have much family left¡­ and the <em>only</em> family that matters is in this room. You saved us when we had nothing, shared freely what you had¡­ And in the years toe, I <em>swear</em> that I will do the same¡­ You are my <em>family</em> and I always take care of <em>family</em>..."

    She raised her ss.

    "Klor Vava!" she eximed and drank.

    "Getting kinda cocky over one dress, ain''t ya?" the Rtoon chuffed.

    "Oh, shut up and eat," Uhrrbetughed as she grabbed a slice of fresh pineapple.

    "So we can eat now?" the Dokk, fruit juice and crumbs still sticking to the fur around his mouth.

    Uhrrbetughed with delight and nodded. The Dokk needed no further confirmation and attacked his te.

    She smiled. Her table was full, and her family was happy. It was a good day, one of many more toe.

    She brought her cider to her lips, imagining that it was that Threen''s blood.

    She drank deeply and sighed.

    This was what life was all about.

    ***

    On Garthranz, Marruna awoke in her bed with an empty bottle still firmly in her grasp.

    Her head and her fists throbbed.

    She smiled and groaned roughly at the same time as she stared upward at the finece of her bed''s canopy.

    "Well, that tears it," she snickered.

    In that strange, supernatural way she always did, her personal maid Bagga opened the door shortly after she awoke, wheeling in arge basin.

    "Good morning, My Lady," Bagga smiled pleasantly.

    "Morning, honored servant," Marruna mumbled as she ran her fingers through the tousled fur of her head.

    They shared a grin.

    "Did you have a pleasant evening, My Lady?"

    "You betcha!" Marruna replied.

    "And you procured quite the feast as well," Bagga smiled, "I''ve taken the liberty of salvaging what I could."

    Marruna smiled as she sat, with some difficulty, upright. "We will feast upon the crawler during our breakfast. I want a w!"

    "Very good, My Lady," Bagga smiled, "It''s been all I could do to keep them away. In fact, I fear your w and my portion may already be forfeit."

    "Oh well," Marruna chuckled and then examined the basin. "What''s that, then?"

    "It is a tincture of local herbs poured over ice," Bagga grinned, "They maintain that soft, dainty hands unused to¡­ rough treatment¡­ might find it soothing."

    Marruna slid her hands into the icy basin and sighed.

    "Well, the ice is helping anyway," she replied. "Hey¡­ It''s kind of tingly..."

    "Our new¡­ horticulturalist¡­ seems quite knowledgeable," Bagga smiled. "As I recall, the cigarettes he crafted were especially appreciated by Your Ladyship?"

    "I distinctly remember a pipe in your proper little paws as well, Bagga."

    "Well," Bagga snickered, "such base things are more suited to base creatures as myself¡­ and as such, I can tell you that it was of the highest quality¡­ My Lady. Our gardener is a man of many talents."

    "Am I mistaken in observing you admiring said ''talents''," Marruna said as Baggaid out her clothing, "particrly in the area from which his tail protrudes, a magnificent tail if I do say so myself?"

    "You know what they say, My Lady," Bagga smiled, "Base is as base does."

    "Ooo?" Marruna asked as she let Bagga remove her nightshirt, "You and our strapping new gardener?"

    "One doesn''t kiss and tell, My Lady..." Bagga replied, "...though they might boast about a very sessful endeavor should it proceed past that point..."

    "Tell me!" Marruna eximed with excitement.

    ***

    Marruna, d in somewhat stained and ratty hunting attire with a dagger and ster pistol in a wide sash across her waist, descended the stairs to the great hall where a table wasid, the centerpiece being arge crab/lobster the size of a decently sized turkey.

    On the opposite wall, a holo emitter was disying quite the scene. Marruna was in a big poofy dress, astride a prone gentleman, and beating the ever-loving shit out of him in the middle of a fine restaurant.

    "Already?" Marruna asked as she and Bagga entered the room.

    "Almost instantly," Bagga replied. "In fact, it preceded your arrivalst night."

    "Any messages?"

    "Multiple ones, My Lady," Bagga smirked. "In particr, your aunt and uncle are particrly keen to converse."

    "I can imagine," Marruna smirked back.

    On the screen, an enraged Marruna shoved her paw down the gentleman''s trousers.

    "Is this what you wanted?!?" she screeched as she clenched her fist, causing the gentleman to scream. "Is that what you desired, dear <em>sir?"</em>

    More screaming.

    "Say you''re daddy''s little bitch!" the on-screen demoness shouted. "Say it!!!"

    "Ahem..." Bagga said in a quiet manner that somehow filled the room, causing a motley-looking group of Garthras to turn about.

    "Shit¡­ shit shit," one of them said as they iled at the remote for the holo, which quickly disappeared.

    "Good morrow, Lady Marruna," the group said in unison (almost).

    "Good morrow, my good people," Marruna said, bobbing slightly, keeping her head erect, and waving one of her hands graciously¡­

    ...then she grinned.

    "So, what were you watching?"

    "Our favorite Baroness kicking some greyfluff ass!" a young voice piped up as the group burst intoughter, and Marruna, dispensing with the appearance of formality, scampered to the head of the table as one Garthra flopped into a chair and grabbed their much lessplicated eating utensils.

    "Bakk!" Bagga snapped," <em>Remain standing</em> until thedy of the house sits!"

    A burly Garthra whose fur was a patchwork of stripe, blond, and white for some reason, grabbed the smaller Garthra by the scruff of the neck and hauled them back up.

    "Why do we gotta do all this crap?" Bakk whined, "Marruna don''t give a shit."

    <em>" The Lady of Easden</em> may not care, but <em>I do</em>," Bagga said with an air of authority that did not allow for dissent. "As to ''why'' we must do so, it is <em>essential</em> that you all know how to conduct yourselves as members of a proper house, which we <em>are</em>. We must conduct ourselves in such a manner to convey a sense of <em>legitimacy</em>, stability, and continuity for House Easden."

    Bagga softened her expression¡­ slightly.

    "You want to ''protect Lady Marruna''s tail'', don''t you?"

    "Yeah," Bakk replied, "of course!"

    "This is how you do just that," she replied, "if another of her status calls wishing to discuss business proper or is here on another important manner, how <em>all of us</em> conduct ourselves will be vitally important. You looking bad will make Lady Marruna look bad, which could very well impact what happens next. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. But that day <em>will</em> happen, and when it does, you will want to protect thedy''s tail, right?"

    "Yeah," Bakk replied, "I got her tail."

    "Then pay attention and follow the rules," Bagga said firmly, "It''s not like we bother with them unnecessarily, just during times like these when we practice proper conduct. You can at least do that, can''t you?"

    "I guess..."

    Bagga turned to Marruna and bobbed.

    "Sorry for detaining you, Your Ladyship," she said as she pulled out Marruna''s chair.

    Marruna primly took a seat.

    Bagga then took a seat next to her and sat.

    The group sat with her simultaneously.

    "Normally, dining among staff is far less formal," Bagga said, "However, you need to know what to expect during a proper dinner."

    "Yeah," Marruna grinned, "what she said."

    Marruna raised a tankard of greenbrew to her lips and took a big gulp as the group looked at her in disbelief.

    "What?" Marruna shrugged, "Spittle of the Devil."

    She looked at the giant crustacean lovingly. It had been a while.

    "Now, let''s dig in!"

    "Yeah," a scarred "motley" replied, "but how?"

    "Well, in <em>proper</em> society, you use special shell crackers and silver iid shears, but the basic idea is we get in there and get to the good stuff," Marruna said as she pulled out the dagger from her belt.

    "My Lady," Bagga said as she arose, "Perhaps I might handle this?" she asked as she magically produced a set of kitchen shears.

    "Probably best," Marruna grinned.

    "Where do you catch these monsters anyway?" an old weathered stripe asked.

    "Deep in the ocean," Marruna replied as Bagga made short work of opening the critter and carving thick bs onto a silver serving tray. She then put a b and a half of a rather soggy roll on each te.

    "Normally, these rolls wouldn''t be soaked in juices, but Our Ladyship had to move rather¡­ quickly," Bagga snickered as the group broke out into titters.

    "Helluva pinch, miss!" a child squeaked, causing the titters to break into full-boreughter.

    "It was, wasn''t it?" Marruna smiled, "Good thing I shanked that foul thing before we got to the entree."

    "Now it is proper, both among servants and the upper ss, to wait until everyone is served," Bagga said firmly as she started putting tes in front of everyone. "It will only be a short dy, and I have ensured equal portions. There is no need to scrap like beasts to ensure your fill."

    After the tes were served, Bagga rolled a serving pot forward and started filling bowls.

    "As fine a ''pinch'' as this was," Bagga smiled, "it isn''t quite enough to properly prepare us for the day. This is a porridge that is often served with crawler and is an excellent and nutritiousplement to the meal."

    "It is?" Marruna asked.

    "What do you think happened to all the crawler you finedies and gentlemen left uneaten?" Bagga asked, "It wasn''t thrown away. As you know, the shells are used for stock, but the leftover meat is salvaged and distributed. While quite delicious, there isn''t much of it, so it is usually served over this porridge, making for a very nice meal. We household staff would do the same."

    She smiled.

    "It''s why it was served so often."

    Marrunaughed. It had been a delight hearing all of the ways their staff robbed them blind.

    After the meal was served and Bagga sat back down, everyone tucked in.

    Marruna smiled as the room was filled with shouts of delight. She really liked her new "staff",prised of poachers, squatters, and the asional dispossessed servant. It was good to give them a treat after everything they had done for her¡­

    ...and for Easden.

    "So, how fares the woods?" Marruna asked her "woodsman".

    "We finally tracked down the ullnee herd again," he replied, "I think grandpa white ear''s time hase, and they have two foals too many for the winter."

    "Yes, but our freezer is full," another objected, "and we are likely losing electricity this month, next month at thetest."

    "We will lose all utility services at the beginning of the next lunar," Marruna replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "The money is pretty much gone until we generate some revenue. I also strongly suspect I just ended any further dealings with my family."

    The table chuckled.

    She turned to an older female.

    "How''s the old well?"

    "Well," the woman replied, "I put some of the water along with witchleaf and kine, and after five days, there was no growth or blight, and the water tasted clean. It should be fine."

    "A quick boil and filter, and we should be good," a male of about the same age replied.

    "Boil?!?" a voice objected from further down the table, "Do you have <em>any</em> idea how much wood that would take?"

    "And how much wood will it take to build the caskets we would need from people <em>shitting themselves to death?!?"</em>

    Bagga started to open her mouth to object to foulnguage and topics at the table, but Marruna silenced her with a gentle hand on her arm. This was important.

    The debate raged on with the sides evenly split.

    "Excuse me," Marruna said as the table fell silent, "But I propose the following solution. For now, we cut wood necessary to boil water for cooking and for those who wish to consume boiled water. Those of you who maintain that the water is safe straight from the well, put your snouts in the game and drink up. We will soon see the truth of the matter."

    "Well?" the leader of the "boil party" sneered, "Feel like dying?"

    "I hope you like drinking your words," the "opposition party" announced, "I''m game."

    "Then it''s settled," Marruna replied, raising her mug to her snout and taking another gulp of the glorious beverage.

    She was starting to suspect the moners" had been holding out on them.

    ***

    Madame Keenita instinctively "crouched" lower in her electric luxury sedan as it rolled down apletely empty road.

    This entire area had been taken in by "the scheme" and had fallen. She saw roads leading off choked with weeds and the asional fine house, now unmaintained and empty.

    She saw something else, something she had heard about. Run down vehicles parked in the yards of some of these fine houses¡­

    <em>Squatters</em>

    It didn''t take long. As entire families "took a swim" and the staff left with what they could carry, unsavory people moved in. This whole area was crawling with squatters, looters, poachers and the Creators above know what else.

    She suddenly felt very alone, but this was something that must be done herself with the utmost delicacy.

    She saw a cargo truck turn down one of the abandoned paths. She had heard of this too. With all of the valuables stripped, the actual houses themselves were targeted. Statues, fountains, architectural elements, wiring, sr panels, and all sorts of luxury materials were literally being ripped right out of the ground and out of the walls and bought by dishonest contractors.

    <em>How could Lady Marruna live out here?</em>

    Finally, her car slowed and turned down a paved side road.

    It only made it a few hundred yards before it suddenly stopped.

    <em>Collision avoidance active</em>

    "What?" she asked in confusion and then it hit her.

    <em>An electronic blockade!</em> she thought in terror. It was an electronic attack used by brigands to way people and thieves to loot trucks or strip a vehicle bare while the passengers were still inside!

    She froze as a targetingser shed across the hood of her car.

    "Don''t be stupid," a voice called out as a single terrifying figure emerged from out of nowhere.

    <em>Motlies!!!</em>

    She adjusted the windows to their darkest tint and dove for her center console, frantically digging for the stunner that her husband insisted she keep in there.

    "I <em>said</em> don''t be stupid," the voice outside said with obvious irritation. "Lower the window before I smash it in and drag you out here."

    "I have a ster!" she yelled, "And I''m not afraid to use it!"

    "Oh dear, I guess we had better just start shooting then."

    "No!" she yelped, "Please!"

    "Just¡­ Just lower your window..."

    Her hand shaking, she lowered the window.

    The motley, wearing a fine woven coat and with a <em>very</em> nice hunting coilgun couched under his arm smiled pleasantly.

    "Afternoon," he said pleasantly.

    "G-good afternoon..."

    "Not much down this road," he said, "where are you heading?"

    "I¡­ I am looking for Lady Marruna," she said,pletely terrified.

    "The Baroness?" he responded. "What''cha want her for?"

    "It''s a¡­ a private matter¡­" she replied.

    "Then why didn''t you call first?"

    <em>Do they work for her?</em> Madame Keenita wondered, utterly confused.

    "Because it''s a delicate matter," she replied, "I had hoped to discreetly seek an audience with Her Ladyship and discuss it personally."

    The motley looked at her suspiciously.

    She anxiously disyed a si ring.

    "I <em>can</em> call upon her, I promise," she said anxiously.

    "Hang on," he said as he raised a short rangemunicator like the ones hunters use to his ear.

    "Hey, Bagga?" the motley said.

    ***

    As she breathed a sigh of relief, Madame Keenita''s sedan resumed its progress. She had heard of collision spoofers like the one that halted her car, but they were used by robbers and worse, not by legitimate security.

    Still pondering that mystery, she was confronted by another.

    Most of the grounds had, like most of the area, fallen into a pitiful state, but near the manor house, it was another thing entirely.

    Entire sections of the grounds, including what appeared to have been a wonderful mallet court, had been absolutely despoiled withrge rectangles of raw earth showing. In others, the weeds were thicker in yet more rectangles. Even stranger was that numerous crude buildings now stood upon the elegant stone garden in front.

    <em>It''s¡­ It''s just like from the holos!</em> Keenita realized. It was like olden times. Lady Marruna had nted crops!

    It all made sense, the crops, the "retainers" at the "gate"¡­

    This was <em>ancestral</em>nd. As long as one of her line upied it, it was theirs by charter. It couldn''t be imed by any debt, public or private¡­

    ...the price was paid long ago, in blood.

    Lady Marruna was actually <em>establishing a barony</em> out here in the Eastern Reach!

    She wasn''t lying when she said she ''had a ce''. She <em>did.</em>

    The doors to the manor opened, and a smartly dressed Garthra exited and approached her vehicle.

    Keenita unlocked her door and the Garthra opened it.

    "Greetings Madame," Bagga said with an elegant little bounce, "I am Bagga, Lady Marruna''s personal maid. Wee to Easden Manor."

    "T-thank you..."

    ***

    Madame Keenita sat ufortably in a well-appointed parlor.

    Oh, this was going to be bad. She had assumed she would encounter a starving pauper, not an ancient baroness. She would just greet her, pay her respects, and leave.

    The door was opened by Bagga, and Marruna, now wearing a lovely pink dress, entered.

    "Greetings and wee," Marruna said, nodding her head as one would pleasantly greet someone of lower stature. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

    "I¡­ I just came to pay my respects, My Lady," Keenita said as pleasantly as she could.

    "Forgive our limited hospitality," Marruna said as Bagga set out teacups and some rough cookies. "It may not be what you are ustomed to, neither the biscuits nor the tea, but I assure you both are quite pleasant."

    "Thank you for your hospitality, My Lady," Keenita said.

    Marruna looked at her expectantly as Keenita nibbled a cookie and sipped her tea.

    It wasn''t what Keenita was ustomed to.

    It was <em>better</em>.

    "Eh?" Marruna asked, her facade slipping for a moment.

    "It''s wonderful, My Lady."

    "So," Marruna said leaning forward and sniffing. "This isn''t down the street. This is a long way down some <em>very interesting</em> roads. Why did you <em>really</em>e out here?"

    "Just to pay my respects to a fellow member of¡ª"

    "Spare the peekpellets," Marruna said, "It''s not like we know each other. In fact, I''ve never seen you once in my life. <em>Why did youe all the way out here?</em> Did my uncle send you?" she added with a dangerous edge to her voice.

    "No!" Keenita eximed with a mixture of shock and horror. She could only imagine the infighting that must be happening, especially after what transpiredst night.

    "Then, why are you here¡­ really?"

    Keenita took a deep breath and steeled herself.

    "I apologize, but I misunderstood your situation," she said, "I am embarrassed to say that I came here with a trunk full of food and wine with which to ingratiate myself and..."

    "Wine?" Marruna asked as her ears pricked up.

    "...and then I was going to try to bribe you to perform a task for someone beneath you. I¡­ I''m sorry, Baroness. I beg your forgiveness, and I will take my leave now."

    "Now, let''s not be hasty," Marruna smiled. "Why don''t you sit down and have another cookie while my people unload your car."

    ***

    A bitter, Marruna and Keenita sat at a table with an empty bottle of wine and two mostly eaten fleer breast sandwiches. (Keenita brought some really nice bread!)

    "Well, that blows," Marruna said as she finished off her sandwich.

    "My poor little Maadle," Keenita said, "He only had his presentationst month, and now he''s been forced to marry that¡­ that Garthra..."

    "I would have used another word," Marruna said, "but ''Garthra'' works."

    Marruna picked at a te of wild berries.

    "I get that you are pissed," Marruna said, "But what do you want me to do about it?"

    "Well¡­ Creators, I''m so embarrassed now..." Keenita said as she shook her head, "But I saw¡­ you know¡­ the ''incident''..."

    "Ah yes," Marruna chuckled, "daddy''s little bitch."

    Keenita, rxed by half a bottle of wine, giggled.

    "I still can''t believe he actually said it," Marrunaughed. "So what does that have to do with anything? You didn''te out here to give me a bottle and an arm sp."

    "The wedding is in a month," Keenita said, her nose a bright scarlet from both embarrassment and more wine than she was used to, "and I might havee across some rather¡­ interesting¡­ information about my future daughter-inw and her family. It would be a <em>shame</em> if it were toe out in a very loud, very public, and very hard to cover up manner in front of the entire assembly of their friends, family, and business contacts during the presentation and cordial assembly before the exchange of vows¡­ and signatures."

    "You wanted me to cause a scene!" Marrunaughed, pping her hands.

    "And the bride-to-be can be quite¡­ vtile¡­ if she had the feces beaten from her frame as well¡­"

    "So you came to the new mistress of meltdowns to ply her with drink and cash to crash your little party to raise hell and kick butt?"

    "Yes," Keenita sighed. "Disgraceful, isn''t it? Please forgive me, Your Ladyship."

    "And how much were you nning on offering me?" Marruna asked, her eyes aglow.

    ***

    Uhrrbet sat in her new dress shop. The machines, supplies, and basic fabrics that she knew would be used were yet to be delivered.

    That was ok. That wasn''t why she was here.

    Locking the door, she entered the back room, where she set up a camera and aptop.

    She pulled up the video concerning "the incident" and watched it with delight. She hated that asshole.

    After viewing it just one more time, she quickly changed into a ragged and stained t-shirt and pulled up her image on theputer.

    Using the software she purchased from the chuckies, she quickly added some dinginess to the wall behind her, as well as a few bugs crawling on the wall.

    Perfect.

    She then turned her attention to herself, made certain things smaller, certain things bigger, smoothed her very, very manly arms, and over the course of a couple of hours, created the Garthranz version of Cindere.

    Perfect.

    She stripped off her clothes. Fur color match and skin oveysplete. Now to adjust things, so it wasn''t an actual match¡­ and even more attractive.

    Perfect.

    She then set up a scanner over to the side. She stood in front of it and waved her hands up and down as well as bent over forward and back.

    The construct on the screen matched her movements perfectly.

    Perfect.

    She took a deep breath and centered herself. This time she wouldn''t be killed if she got it wrong.

    That just made it harder. She really wanted to <em>sell</em> this one.

    She picked up themunicator and activated theptop, which synced to it, disying the construct.

    She smiled.

    Perfect.

    ***

    Vkkarty in his bed surrounded by ice, on his head, on his face¡­

    stuffed into his pajamas¡­

    He had been beaten by a <em>girl</em>¡­

    <em>Humiliated...</em>

    ...and everyone knew¡­

    everyone¡­

    There was "viral," and there is what that video was. On the news, they were joking that it was ''so viral it might as well be a human''¡­

    ...On the <em>news!</em>¡­

    ...the worst part was that everyone was calling him the ONE gray in the entire <em>species</em> that couldn''t getid¡­

    His father wasn''t returning his calls. His mother¡­ Creators¡­

    ...He <em>wished</em> she hadn''t. It was awful. She¡­ She said¡­

    ...She said that there were other ways to dishonor a family than bankruptcy¡­

    ¡­ and other ways to lose one''s ce...

    Tears welled up in his eyes.

    She had killed him. <em>That bitch had killed him!</em>

    His phone rang. Wincing, he looked at the ID.

    It wasn''t yet another news program. It was¡­

    ¡­ <em>From the Republic?!?</em>

    <em>Creators,</em> he thought. If his dishonor had traveled that far he really would kill himself¡­

    ¡­ all over his mother''s favorite tapestry.

    Bracing himself, he answered the phone.

    <em>It was a girl!!!</em>

    It was a gray! She was wearing¡­ well not much really. He could see her nips poking through the thin stained white garment she was wearing, and there were bugs crawling across the stained walls.

    "Hello?" He asked in confusion.

    "H-hi..." she said nervously, "I don''t know if you remember me, but I''m Maaatisha."

    "Maaatisha," he said as he sat bolt upright, "Yes, of course! I remember you!" he lied, "How could I not?"

    "Oh dear!" she gasped as she raised her hand to her snout, "What happened to you?"

    <em>She doesn''t know!!!</em>

    "Oh, this?" he replied dismissively, "Hoverbike ident. It looks worse than it feels."

    "Oh good," she said. "I''m sorry to cut this short, but I don''t have much time. This call is expensive, and I''ve spent thest of my money on it. I just had to see you onest time."

    "You had to see¡­ <em>me?"</em>

    "Yes." she replied, looking downcast, "and to say that I''m sorry."

    "Sorry for what?"

    "I was one of the many wiped out by ''the scheme'' and was introduced to you as a prospective bride. I..."

    She broke down weeping.

    "Maaatisha, what?"

    "I don''t have time!" she eximed, "I <em>have</em> to finish. I refused you. I refused you and your family''s kindness, their generosity. I was vain and foolish, and I thought that I could do better, attract better..."

    "And now look at me," she wailed as she pulled at her thin shirt, just happening to stretch it across her breasts.

    Vkkart''s pulse raced. A girl!!! A hot one!!! And she is sorry she didn''t marry him?!?

    "I was tricked into a false offer of prosperity and lured off-world," she wept, "I''ve been forced to¡­ to work like a stripe¡­ beaten¡­ starved¡­ and now¡­ it''s all over¡­ I have been taken to the Republic..."

    "But isn''t that a good thing?" Vkkart asked,pletely confused.

    <em>"It''s all a lie!"</em> Maaatisha wailed. "There aren''t any jobs here, not for us. That ''little test''¡­ It''s <em>impossible!</em> They go to school <em>for over ten years</em> to be able to pass it. It would take us even longer!..."

    She looked down.

    "Time I don''t have¡­ not anymore..."

    "W-what do you mean?" Vkkart asked.

    "To get here, I had to go into debt with the Harkeen," she said. "to pay for passage, and then I couldn''t pass the test and get a job¡­ The interest piled up higher and higher..."

    She broke down into tears again.

    "No. Maaatisha," she said, "you don''t have time. Cryter."

    She looked directly into the camera, her chest heaving.

    "The Harkeen were wiped out in the Republic, and the new boss, the one who now owns my debt, says that it''s time to pay..."

    She looked down¡­

    "...with my body. They¡­ they are..."

    She wept for a few moments.

    "Maaatisha!" Vkkart cried out in dismay.

    "It''s¡­ it''s ok..." she said. "I brought this on myself..."

    She smiled shyly.

    ¡°But¡­ before¡­ that happens¡­ I want the first eyes toy themselves upon me to be of my own kind. I want <em>Garthran</em> eyes to see me as I am now, untouched¡­ pure..."

    "I want you to see me, Vkkart. You once asked to see what you were buying. I want to show you what I should have <em>given</em> you."

    The thin garment fell to the ground, revealing an angelic vision of Garthran perfection, just as the screen went ck with words "Call terminated, insufficient funds." glowing unmercifully.

    "Noooooo!" Vkkart screamed.

    ***

    Uhhbert, wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants, switched off "Maaatisha", closed theptop, and shut down the scanner.

    She smiled a jagged, toothy, crocodile-like smile.

    <em>Perfect.</em>

 Chapter 200: The Rise of the Baroness of Eastladen

    Chapter 200: The Rise of the Baroness of Easden

    On a pier, a small group of Garthra, dressed as if they were going to a ball, stood in the darkness of night as if they were waiting.

    After consulting an antique pocket watch, the oldest male opened a box in which there was one vial for each of them containing a number of pills.

    "It''s time," He said with as calm a voice as he could manage. "I''m so terribly, terribly sorry."

    "It''s ok, papa," a young woman said as she reached in, took her vial, and smiled at him.

    Each of the others followed suit.

    His finely dressed wife reached into a basket and pulled out a dust-covered bottle and a small cloth. She wiped it clean and admired it for a moment before passing it to a servant.

    Giving them a weak smile, the stripe pulled a corkscrew from his pocket.

    He filled a ss for each of them.

    "It''s been an honor, My Lord," he said as he handed the eldest his ss.

    "Thank you, Gvvn," the richly dressed noble said.

    "I¡­ I shall take my leave now, My Lord," Gvvn said desperately trying to keep his voice from breaking.

    "Very good, Gvvn," the Baron replied.

    Gvvn walked away, trying to keep his steps even until he was no longer in sight¡­

    ...then, bursting into tears, he fled.

    The Baron of Easden held the ss to his snout and inhaled.

    "It is as fine as a vintage as they say," he said appreciatively, "I had hoped we would share it under better circumstances, but¡ª"

    He cut his eyes back at his daughter, who had her tongue halfway down into the ss.

    "Marruna," he sighed with a weak smile, "Could you, this one time, at least try to practice decorum?"

    Lady Marruna sucked her tongue back in.

    They all turned to a distant mountain range as the''s moon started to rise above the peaks.

    The Baroness nuzzled him fondly.

    "Even after all of this time," she sighed sadly, "I''ve never tired of that sight."

    As the moon continued to rise, the Baron turned to the small group.

    "For over three quatrains, the Easdens have presided over thisnd, guided it through the years, the wars, the unification, and the peace that followed. Later, we helped guide our people into the very heavens themselves¡­"

    He looked downward.

    "And in the space of a single year, thest Baron of Easden ruined it all..."

    He fell silent and looked down as tears ran out of his nose.

    "Time ims all, and it is now time for House Easden to join all those who went before us," he said after he regained hisposure.

    "House Easden," he said quietly as he raised his ss.

    "House Easden," the subdued group replied in turn.

    "The first sip should be untainted," he said, "So we can savor this properly."

    The group all drank¡­

    ...and coughed a little.

    "Bleah," Marruna said, "this kind of sucks."

    The group burst intoughter.

    "How appropriate," her youngest brotherughed, wiping his nose.

    He tossed the pills into his mouth and washed them down.

    Everyone followed suit as the moon shone upon them, washing them down with very expensive and somewhat subpar wine.

    "How long before the medicine will take effect?" the Baroness asked.

    "Oh, it starts to tingle in about half an hour," Marruna replied, "by an hour, you will be ripped¡­ out¡­ of..."

    She coughed discreetly.

    "I mean, I''m not sure, mother?" she said with a well-practiced, innocent smile.

    Her mother shook her head.

    "You are impossible," she smiled, "you know that?"

    The Baroness sipped the wine and made a face.

    "Perhaps our pte has shifted over the years?" she mused.

    ***

    About an hourter, the Baroness, with some difficulty, arose from her perch on the pier.

    "I do..." she said woozily, "I do believe I am ready."

    "You got the wobbles," Marruna said grimly, the joy with which she lived life fading, "You''ll pass out pretty soon."

    "Thank you, my dear," her mother said as the Baron and the others finally got onto their feet.

    "Goodbye, my dear children," the Baroness replied, "I hope that there is something thates after, and even if it is in rags, I shall be filled with joy if you are there."

    Hand in hand, the Baron and Baroness plunged into the river and started to groggily swim out into the current.

    They were followed by Marruna''s brothers¡­

    ...leaving only Marruna.

    She paused, looking up at the moon¡­

    ...let out a little sigh and jumped.

    ***

    In the manor house, a feast wasid. Fine dishes of every description wereid along the walls, buffet-style, and the entirety of the staff stood at the table with a te full of delicacies before them.

    The head butler raised a crystal ss.

    "To House Easden," he said, his voice hitching slightly. He started to say more and stopped, unable to continue.

    "To House Easden," the Baroness''s personal maid said loudly and started to drink.

    <em>To House Easden</em>, the group replied and drank.

    The head butler drank and sat, looking at the Baroness''s maid gratefully.

    ***

    Cold water.

    Cold water all around.

    <em>Can''t breathe!</em>

    A Garthra, not quite sure of what was going on, iled about desperately.

    <em>I can''t move!</em>

    Her fancy ballgown, now waterlogged, entangled her and heavy with water, pulled her ever deeper. A creature of instinct, she tore and ripped at the thing, its jeweled sequins sparkling.

    Somehow, she managed to get out of the skirt.

    Pure instinct drove her upward toward the moon.

    Her vision started to fade, the light of the moon reced by ever-growing darkness¡­

    ***

    "Open another set of bottles!" the head butler called, "We may be nothing but stripes, but we can at least appreciate the vintage. The same can NOT be said about those¡­ those <em>shits</em> that will soon arrive!"

    "I, for one," the Baroness''s personal maid said as she drank deep, "will most definitely NOT be working for them. Rather I sweep at the docks than serve the new so-called <emdy</em>."

    The table loudly agreed.

    ***

    On a muddy bank, a waterlogged Garthra coughed and vomited.

    Wearing a bejeweled top and nothing but a slip below, shey there, utterly confused.

    <em>What happened?</em>

    She looked at her state, and something deep within her radiated with warm satisfaction.

    <em>Must have been one hell of a party.</em>

    A short distance down the bank, she saw a lump of pink silk.

    She knew that dress.

    "Veenie!" she called as she crawled.

    She looked up.

    <em>Oh shit! It waste! Curfew hade and gone!</em> They were in for it this time!

    "Veenie!" she called out as she reached the Garthra, "Veenie! Wake up! We gotta¡­ Veenie?"

    "Veenie?" she said again as she shook her.

    Marruna gasped as she saw Veenita, the young Lady of Greengrax, lying there, her eyes zed and lifeless.

    "Help!" she screamed¡­

    ...or tried to. The only thing that came out was more coughs.

    Something floated by, surrounded by an elegantvender nightgown.

    <em>Lady Wiinka?</em>

    She struggled to her feet. And started making her way along the muddy bank.

    More bodies¡­

    ...bodies that she <em>knew</em>.

    She soon found a path, a familiar one, and started stumbling along it.

    ***

    In the great hall, a young stripe broke out into tears and wasforted by another maid.

    "Whatever are we going to do?" a stripe in his thirties asked. "I know nothing else than this!"

    "Courage," the head butler replied, "The Lord¡­ The Lord of Easden was very generous with our severances, and we are all skilled house staff."

    "But there are no more houses!" a stable hand shouted.

    "There are no more houses <em>here</em>," the head butler replied. "However, this¡­ ''ponsie scheme'' did noty low the entire. There are still many manors, townhomes, and, should ite to that, resorts, restaurants, and agencies. In addition, these manor homes will not remain empty for long. Just as those jackals will undoubtedly descend upon us, there are many other poorly bred, grasping grays iming the others as can afford them. They will need staff as well, and many of the staff in residence in those undoubtedly feel the same as us."

    He drank deeply.

    "I will NOT serve the Lord of Easden''s brother and his wife," he said, "but I could countenance serving another family with the same¡­ nature¡­ What is important is that we¡ª"

    The front door creaked open, revealing a muddy, waterlogged, Garthra.

    "Lady Marruna!" Bagga eximed as she leaped from her seat and rushed to her.

    "Oh, Bagga," Marruna said weakly as she copsed into her arms," I had the most horrible dream."

    "It''s ok now," Bagga said as she stroked Marruna''s head like she did when she was a child. "Let''s get you into bed."

    The huntsman walked up and scooped Marruna into his arms, carrying her towards the grand staircase.

    Marruna smiled as she closed her eyes and nuzzled his chest.

    "I love you, papa."

    ***

    An expensive grav-sedan unceremoniously plopped down in front of the manor and honked its horn.

    The door of the manor opened, the head butler, holding a gilded <em>assault rifle</em>, and the huntsman, holding his trusty coil-shotgun, stepped out along with the stripe that stepped towards the sedan.

    The sedan''s doors flew open before the stripe arrived, and a Garthran male and female barged out, dressed in false finery.

    "What''s this?" the male demanded.

    "I''m terribly sorry," the head butler said with a smug little smile, "but thedy of the house has had a very trying night and is currently resting. She is <em>not</em> entertaining visitors at this time."

    "There is nody of the house, you liar," the woman shouted, waving a handful of papers. "They all drownedst night, and this house is ours!"

    "You would be mistaken," the head butler replied, "Young Lady Marruna, <em>The Baroness of Easden</em>, is still in residence."

    "Bah!" the woman yelled as she stepped towards the manor, "She''s a minor! She can''t own property! Besides, as next of kin, we get custody anyways!"

    "Darling," the man beside her said urgently.

    "I wouldn''t expect someone like you to know¡­ <em>madame</em>," the head butler replied a bit more forcefully, "but Easden, like many of the manors in this area, are still under <em>Charter Law</em>, notmonw."

    "What''s that have to do with anything?!?"

    "Under charterw," the butler replied, "the age of majority is fourteen, not neen¡­ As your husband is quite aware."

    "Well¡­ I''ll¡­ I''ll just drag her out of this backwards ce then," the woman said as she purposefully strode towards the entrance.

    The head butler and huntsman smiled grimly as the shutters of the windows behind him flew open.

    "I would remind madame that Charter Law still applies here," the head butler said calmly as his paw flipped the safety of his rifle.

    <em>"JGGNALA, STOP!!!"</em> The male behind her screamed. He rushed forward and threw himself at his wife, knocking her, shrieking, to the ground.

    "We''re leaving!" he shouted as he crouched above her, his hands outstretched in front of him, "We''re leaving!"

    "Have a care...<em>sir</em>," the head butler replied, "You have just attempted to usurp the rightful ruler of Easden. We will be especially¡­ vignt¡­ in future. I would strongly advise against returning. This will also be reported to the league and to all agencies. I hope madame is adept at doing her own washing."

    Shoving his still shrieking wife into the sedan, the Garthra rushed into his sedan and fled.

    ***

    Shortly thereafter, an enraged Jggn stomped angrily through a well-appointed lobby to the snickers of the other upants.

    "I''ve heard of someone beingughed out of aw office," the stripe behind the reception desk chuckled to a blonde paralegal who had rushed out to watch the show, "but I never thought it would <em>literally</em> happen."

    ***

    The door of Marruna''s bedchamber flew open, and Bagga marched in.

    "Goaway..." Marruna mumbled from under her sheets.

    <em>"Enough!"</em> Bagga eximed as she strode to the windows and threw the curtains back, flooding the room with hellish light.

    Marruna yelped and retreated deeper under her nket.

    "It''s been <em>two weeks</em>," Bagga said as she opened the windows letting in some desperately needed fresh air. "Two weeks, <em>My Lady.</em>"

    "Don''t care."

    "Oh, of that, I am well aware!" Bagga said as she grabbed the nket, entering into a tug of war with the Lady of Easden. "Meals uneaten, bedding unchanged¡­ the <em>stink</em> of the unwashed..."

    "Well," Marruna yelled, "the Lady of Easden <emmands</em> you to let go!"

    Bagga hissed and yanked the nket angrily, causing Marruna to tumble to the floor.

    "Bagga!" Marruna eximed.

    Bagga angrily mmed open Marruna''s closet and started roughlyying out an outfit.

    "Get up!" Bagga hissed.

    Marruna glumly got to her feet¡­

    ¡­ and promptly started crawling back into bed.

    Bagga roughly grabbed Marruna and hauled her back, Marruna dragging the sheet off her bed as she tumbled back to the floor.

    "Bagga," Marruna hissed, "you are¡ª"

    "Oh, you will not have to discharge me," Bagga hissed back, "my bags are already packed! I will NOT see Easden fall like this!¡­ <em>How dare you!"</em>

    Marruna fell silent, shocked.

    "How dare you throw your family''s sacrifice away like this!!! Every moment youy there in your own filth, you <em>urinate</em> on their bodies polluting the Sakkvin as we speak!"

    "B-Bagga..." Marruna gasped as tears formed on her snout.

    "Why do you think he did what he did?" Bagga demanded.

    "B-because it''s what you do¡­ We have no ce left..."

    "He did it because he wanted Easden to go out on its feet, with honor, and not copse crawling and mewling into obscurity and poverty <em>as you are doing right now.</em> In the days of old, you all would have ridden forth alone against the Gvvvar and fought until you died, your honor intact, or you would have engaged in duel after duel or tournament after tournament until you fell or your fortunes were recovered. Later, when that became impossible, ritual suicide reced it. If you actually attended your lessons in more than just body, you would know this."

    Bagga pulled out a vial of amber liquid from her frock and set it on the nightstand.

    "Byying here, in a living death, you profane that sacrifice and condemn this house to the exact fate your <em>family killed itself</em> to avoid."

    Marruna covered her eyes as she burst into tears.

    "You don''t understand, Bagga," she wept, "you don''t know what it was like!"

    Bagga''s eyes softened as she knelt down and embraced her.

    "You are right," she sighed, "I don''t. I can''t even begin to understand what that night was like. I am so sorry you had to endure that and face what you are now facing, my dear Marruna..."

    She nuzzled Marruna''s neck before she rose.

    "But there is one thing that I <em>do</em> understand," she said firmly, "The Barony of Easden is yours. You are Lady Marruna, Baroness of Easden, and there are dozens of staff that <em>need</em> you to be that Baroness, at least once..."

    Bagga looked down.

    "I need you as well."

    "Bagga..."

    "So," Bagga said firmly, "you are going to get dressed, go out there, and greet your staff <em>as Baroness</em> and then sit, <em>alone,</em> at the great table and be served breakfast. It''s your favorite, by the way. After that, the staff will individually greet you before they go about their tasks, and you <em>will</em> greet them¡­ as your father greeted them two weeks before..."

    Tears started to drip out of Bagga''s nose, but her voice remained even.

    "After that, I will apany you to your chambers, where I will draw you a bath, get you cleaned up, and then get you dressed properly."

    She nced at the bottle on the nightstand.

    "Then," Bagga said, her voice breaking, "if you so chose, I will pour you a ''cordial''. That drink will put you into a slumber from which you will not awaken. You do not have to face the Sakkvin again. We¡­ we will¡­¡±

    Bagga broke down into tears for a moment.

    "After you have¡­ cooled¡­ and we know you have departed... we will convey your body to the river where we..."

    Bagga fell silent, unable to continue.

    "I don''t think I can do it," Marruna said weakly, "I don''t think I can do any of this."

    "I know you can," Bagga smiled, "and I will be there for you every step of the way, whether it be one day or the rest of my life, I will remain at your side, My Lady."

    She knelt down and embraced Marruna before guiding her to her feet.

    "Now let''s get you dressed," Bagga said gently," <em>Your Barony</em> needs you."

    ***

    A short whileter, the staff were all assembled, waiting, as they had every single morning for thest two weeks.

    The mood was somber, mournful.

    "Look!" someone squeaked as, supported by Bagga, Marruna appeared in a lovely blue dress.

    <em>"Good morrow, Lady Marruna!"</em> the group eximed in joyous union.

    "Good morrow, my devoted staff," Marruna said, bobbing slightly, keeping her head erect, and waving one of her hands graciously¡­

    ¡­ as her father had done before her.

    ***

    After a truly wonderful breakfast, Marruna sat, a bit ufortably, in her father''s chair as the staff filed past, each respectfully greeting her and swearing fealty to the house.

    The somber mood had definitely reappeared.

    "Please don''t do it, My Lady!!!" a young maid, bursting into tears, cried as she threw herself at Marruna. "Please!"

    "Leeinka!" Bagga eximed as she and the head butler pulled the young woman off Marruna.

    "You don''t have to! You have a ce right here," Leeinka cried," <em>with us!"</em>

    Keeping their expressions firm, Bagga and the head butler dragged Leeinka from the room.

    "Please! Don''t leave us! Please!" echoed down the hall. "We need you!"

    ***

    As Marruna was taking a much-needed bath, she closed her eyes and slid her head under the water.

    <em>Nope!</em>

    That shit wasn''t happening. Not even in death.

    Under the water, a realization hit.

    <em>They really did need her!</em> At least for a while. As soon as she drank that cordial, her loathsome uncle and that waste of a grey pelt that he married would descend upon this ce, and it would be the staff, the good and loyal staff, that would lose <em>their</em> ce.

    She couldn''t just "go for a swim", not <em>yet</em>¡­

    ¡­ and she could live for just a bit longer.

    After her bath, Bagga came in with towels.

    "Bagga, my dear woman," Marruna said with a life in her voice that had been gone for two weeks, "have you prepared my nightcap?"

    "N-not yet, My Lady."

    "Good," Marruna replied as she hopped out of the tub. "Put it back on the shelf."

    "My Lady?" Bagga asked with a happy gasp.

    "I''m not dying tonight," Marruna said as she dried herself with gusto, "my people need me."

    ***

    The next few months flew by as Marruna ran through the halls, rode jaaks, raided the wine cer and liquor cab (she was an ''adult'' after all), asionally danced about in her socks to pop music (scandalous), hunted, shot all the guns in the arsenal, and was just a general all-around menace.

    The staff didn''t mind. It was said that she was living out a lifetime in a week as, one by one, sheltered and given time by the Baroness, they were able to find jobs elsewhere.

    For them, it was viewed as the ultimate sacrifice. She was remaining as the rearguard, giving time for her retainers to escape.

    They said as much to others as they filtered into their new positions across the system and beyond. Many a ss and mug was raised in her name. Marruna was unaware of this, but among a certain segment of society, she was fast bing a legend and her former staff all proudly wore the pieces of family jewelry (discreet and tasteful, of course) each was given as a keepsake. "Better you than my uncle.", she would say when someone tried to refuse. Later, as she started to feel like a real baroness, she started saying stuff like, "As long as you carry us in your heart, Easden has not truly fallen."

    It worked. The staff would leave, their heads held high, as they swore to do just that.

    Somewhere along the line, after one attempt too many by her aunt to be the Baroness, Marruna swore in court that she would remain and that Easden would <em>never</em> fall. She proimed that she would outlive her aunt and that maybe, just maybe, her aunt''s children or grandchildren would take her barony but that she, her aunt would not¡­

    ¡­ to the cheers of many stripes in the audience.

    Duty became pure spite. As long as her fluffy butt sat in residence, nobody could touch Easden.

    At first, her uncle and aunt thought they could starve her out, but a barony is a lot ofnd to hunt, and the eternal Sakkvin gave fish. Bagga became quite the angler as Marruna stalked the fields and woods.

    Farmer''s markets provided a few credits here and there. She, unlike many, could legally sell wild game. With that small flow of ie, they were able to buy produce and seeds.

    Unable to maintain them, she did have to sell most of her beloved jaaks, but she was able to keep a pair of them, her favorite stallion and his ''girlfriend'' (at least as Marruna saw it). The fields themselves were enough to feed those two.

    Things were austere, austere in the extreme, but happy¡­

    ...until the squatters and poachers arrived.

    They were far enough out that they were spared the worst. Stripes and Blondes would troop through the forests and, using drones, wipe out entire flocks and herds on what was once familynd to sell on the grey market to restaurants and the like.

    They were a menace, meat locusts.

    "Fortunately", the meat locusts were held at bay by a group that even their well-armed and well-equipped ranks feared, the Motleys. The Motleys were a "tribe" of celess semi-nomads with "motley" pelts of many colors, and they lived out in the wilds and on the fringes of society. They traveled from ce to ce in ramshackle caravans, many of which also were, among other things, itinerant entertainers. "Motley fairs" were still wee in many areas¡­

    ¡­ however, that was about the only time they were wee.

    There were nominally "refuges",nd set aside for them, but Motleys didn''t really see borders and property as anything more than suggestions and bore the refuges little mind unless they wanted medical treatment or supplies.

    For them, "the scheme" was quite the windfall. Even though the abandoned residences had been thoroughly picked over, there was always something to "salvage" either to be sold or melted down either for scrap or to use in their handicrafts, weapons, and tools.

    They absolutely hated the meat locusts and, though otherwise peaceful, had little mercy when they found one. Many a "locust" found themselves robbed of everything they had and left by the road in only their fur¡­

    ¡­ if they were lucky. The Motleys would often shave a locust as well. Garthra fur is very soft and warm. It makes for great nkets, pillows, and jackets.

    In the Eastern Reach, the Motleys set up housekeeping, settling in the abandoned manors and hunting and foraging the expansive grounds and forests¡­

    ¡­ including Easden.

    ***

    "My Lady," Bagga, now the only one left, said anxiously, "once again, I cannot stress how bad of an idea this is enough!"

    "Well, I''m tired of them!" Marruna said as she shoved an automatic gauss pistol in her belt. "And those snares are on <em>my</em>nd."

    Marruna smiled impishly.

    "That means that they are mine as well," she grinned. "Aren''t you tired of fish? Besides, I''ve done this before. I''m good at the sneaky sneak. Maybe they will learn not to set them on ournds."

    "Or maybe they will shave you¡­ or worse," Bagga said anxiously.

    "That''s what makes it fun!" Marruna said cheerfully as she bounced out of the door.

    ***

    Kively in wait, concealed by a nket of leaves and moss, along with two of his n.

    Somebody was stealing their kills, and somebody was going to pay. It was nothing but Motleys out here, and another n thought he was a whelp.

    Well¡­ He patted the clippers in a pouch on his belt.

    It was going to get real drafty for that fool today.

    There was movement, clumsy movement, closing in.

    Was it a locust?

    Oh¡­ If it was¡­

    Kivel could feel his pulse starting to race. If it was one of those rapers of thend, he would do more than just shave them. It was time for one to disappear, as would sometimes happen this far out.

    Soon, a grey clumsily darted from tree to tree as they approached. Kivel was more than surprised. A grey? That wasn''t usual¡­

    ¡­ and neither was what they were carrying. That auto-pistol was military only. If they knew how to use it, one spray would cut him and his men down¡­

    ¡­ but if he could get them first, it would be worth a <em>fortune</em>!

    The young grey female (?!?) sniffed cautiously and then scampered over to the snare line where a fat likko hung by its neck.

    "Well, hello there!" the young female said as she drew a knife and stood on tiptoe to grab the dog-sized leathery creature and pull it down far enough to cut his snare (again), another thing that truly annoyed him.

    When both her arms were away from the pistol, he burst from cover, followed by his men.

    ***

    <em>Well¡­ shit...</em> Marruna thought as the Motleys appeared out of nowhere.

    <em>Three of them, all with some sort of gun...</em> Marruna quickly looked them over, not failing to notice the clippers in their sheath.

    <em>Just brazen it out!</em> she thought with a grin. It''s<em> just like the wardens back in boarding school.</em>

    "Hi, there!" Marruna said brightly. "Could you guys give me a hand with this?"

    Kivel blinked in confusion. Of all the ways this could go, this was not one he had envisioned.

    "Who are you?" he demanded.

    "Oh, where are my manners?" Marruna said, releasing the likko, causing it to shoot upwards again. "Lady Marruna, Baroness of Easden," she said cheerfully as she approached, arm outstretched.

    "Kivel," he replied as he sped her arm with his.

    <em>A grey not only being nice but actually touching him, and an arm sp no less?</em> It was, once again,pletely unforeseen.

    "Are you the gentlemen who have been setting out these snares for me?" Marruna said brightly, "I really appreciate it! They have made things so much easier!"

    "Uhh..." Kivel replied,pletely befuddled.

    "They are our snares!" Jana snapped, her senses thankfully still intact.

    "Oh, I am <em>so</em> sorry," Marruna replied, looking quite abashed, "I just assumed since they were on <em>my</em>nd and the game they caught was <em>mine</em> that they were for me. You can see how I would be confused, right?"

    "Uhh..." Jana replied, now the one caught in the headlights of Marruna''s unrepentant cheerfulness.

    Having a moment to gather himself, Kivel noticed that one of Marruna''s hands was now resting <em>on the auto pistol</em>. If she knew how to use that¡­

    ¡­ and a <em>baroness</em> probably did, it could be very bad.

    "Well, this <em>is</em> a pickle," Marruna said after a moment of silence. "Why don''t I give you a tour of the grounds so this little misunderstanding doesn''t recur, and then we can all drop by the manor for a bottle of wine and a nice lunch!"

    <em>" You..."</em> Kivel said,pletely stunned," are inviting <em>us?"</em>

    "We are neighbors, aren''t we?" Marruna replied, "and it''s been so lonely out here since you know¡­ <em>blub blub blub</em>¡­ Dreadful business that. The river stank for <em>weeks!"</em>

    Kivel said nothing. How could you even respond to that?

    "We..." he said after scrambling his brains back together, "we ept your invitation..."

    "Super!" Marruna eximed.

    "What are you doing?" Jana hissed into Kivel''s ear as Marruna cheerfully gave them a <em>real tour</em> of the ce, sharing history and personal anecdotes

    "and that''s where I first went to second base..." Marruna said, further disconcerting them¡­ as designed. (She actually didn''t go to second base there. She did it during a school mixer.)

    "She''s a <em>baroness</em>," Kivel replied, "if we do <em>anything</em> to her, thew wille down <em>hard</em>. Besides, have you seen what she is carrying? One sweep, and we are all in half."

    Kivel sighed and smiled ruefully as he watched Marruna bouncing down the trail.

    "The only thing we can do is find out where hernds are and not set snares," he chuckled. "Probably best to avoid them altogether. We have everywhere else."

    Jana huffed.

    "Well, keep your eyes on her hands, not her tail," she hissed, knowing that he was absolutely right.

    ***

    On their way back, Kivel saw fresh sign of the herd of ullnee they had been tracking.

    "Baroness, stop," he whispered as he and his people crouched to the ground, sniffing.

    "What?" Marruna whispered back as she also crouched and sniffed. "what are we smelling for? ¡­ew."

    She crawled backward, rubbing her nose.

    "Pee," she whispered.

    Jana shoved her out of the way and pressed her face into it.

    "They are close!" she whispered.

    "How close?" Kivel asked as he joined her.

    "Close, close."

    "What is?" Marruna asked as she wiggled her snout in between them, causing even Jana to smile a little. She was just like one of their whelps on an early hunt.

    "Ulnee," Kivel replied.

    <em>"Ooh!"</em> Marruna whispered in a hushed voice." I''ve<em> never managed to get one of those!"</em>

    "They are tricky," Kivel whispered back.

    He paused.

    "I know they are on yournd," he whispered, "but the herd is overpopted and needs to be thinned if they want to be able to survive the winter."

    "They do?" Marruna hiss whispered, "I remember the huntsman talking about that before. Ok, let''s thin them. Just give me some meat, and we are square."

    "How much meat?" Jana hissed quietly.

    "It''s just the two of us," Marruna said, "maybe a shoulder, maybe? You have more mouths than we do."

    "Alright," Jana replied, a bit surprised. It was a pretty good deal.

    "Annnd you are bringing me along," Marruna whispered, "I wanna see how you do this."

    "Keep well behind us, quiet, and do what we say," Kivel replied.

    ***

    "Hooooo!" Marruna howled as she threw open the door to the blood room. "Bagga! Break out some of the good wine!"

    "Did the hunt go well, my Lad¡ª" Bagga''s voice froze as she entered the blood room and saw the three dangerous-looking figures behind Marruna.

    "Look!" Marruna eximed, "A likko and <em>two ulnee!!!</em>"

    "Oh, this is nice!" Kivel and Jana''spanion said as he looked at the mini-ughterhouse.

    "I fucking <em>love</em> these guys!" Marruna yelled as she hugged Jana, whose nose turned bright red.

    <em>A grey¡­ "loves us"?</em> Jana thought, absolutely shocked. It was, of course, a figure of speech, but even so, a grey just hugged her and expressed, at the very least, eptance.

    "Let''s get these ulnee and the likko on hooks and get to cleaning!" Marruna said as she pulled out a long curved de and started sharpening it. "Bagga, would you please get us some of the good wine and perhaps prepare us some lunch?"

    The Motleys looked at each other and shrugged.

    ***

    Monthster, a group of Motleys sat with Marruna as they shared a meal in the great hallprising of game, produce from the garden''s first harvest, and wild forage.

    "Bagga," the Motley elder said as he patted his stomach and burped. "That was magnificent."

    "Sadly," Bagga replied as she sat with them, "that was also thest of the pepper."

    "Aww," Marruna said. "Bye, bye, pepper," she said as she took another big bite.

    "These trnn are amazing," a Motley wise woman said with a sigh. "I wish we could grow them. They are so expensive otherwise."

    "Why can''t you?" Marruna asked, "They aren''t hard."

    "They take too long to mature, and you can''t hide them in the woods," the wise woman replied as she savored the gourd-like vegetable, "they need tended plots, and we can''t stay put that long."

    "You can''t?"

    "If we stay in one ce too long," Kivel said, "we get run off. I know it was a horrible thing for you, but ''the scheme'' has been good for us. We have never been able to squat this long in one ce and never as well. Even now, they are starting to reim some of these manors closer to town. It won''t be long before they will drive us off as well."

    "You mean I would never see you guys again?" Marruna asked in rm.

    "Oh, you would see us," the elder smiled, "from time to time, especially if we were wee."

    "Of course, you would be wee!" Marruna eximed, "More than wee! In fact..."

    She grinned that infectious grin.

    "Why don''t you all move in here?"

 Chapter 201: The Powder Keg

    Chapter 201: The Powder Keg

    On Terra, Irene and Sascha were sitting at the bar of the "Fire and Ash", an "Old-Earth" bar favored by the OG crowd.

    They were well into their third set of drinks and second te of tapas, a little board of nibbles, and enjoying the pugilball game.

    "Oh!" Irene eximed as a ck Raven''s pugilstick (basically a reinforcedcrosse stick designed for beating people) sent a rival yer flying. "That''s gonna hurt tomorrow."

    The ck Raven yer drove the haft of their pugilstick downward into the chest te of the downed yer, to the delight of the bar.

    "First melee!" the bartender shouted as chaos broke out on the field, "Second quarter, six minutes, fifteen seconds!"

    Someone''s name appeared with, "Winner! Second quarter, four minutes."

    "So," Saschaughed as he apuded along with the rest of the bar, "what did you have?"

    "First quarter," Ireneughed. "Damn, son!" she eximed as a Red Knight''s helmet shell cracked as a ck Raven''s stick shattered over it. "I think they need to test that motherfucker. He has to be boosted."

    Kallo looked away from the violence on screen and drew his spindly brown and amber shell-d body in tight as he gathered empty sses. The pure viciousness of the Terrans always frightened him¡­

    ¡­ especially the old ones¡­

    ¡­ and especially on game night.

    He was unintentionally jostled by a cheering pink-haired woman who threw her arms back, nearly sending him sprawling as she lept chest first into a bald-headed muscr man with a long braided beard and crossed axes tattooed on the sides of his head.

    As Kallo desperately tried not to drop the tub of mugs and sses, he could see the same mark on the pink-haired woman''s neck.

    It was probably a tribal or n marking of some kind, denoting their membership in one of the war ns that fought in thewless ashes of a dying world.

    Kallo had always wondered how someone could survive something like that. I mean, what would they eat?

    He wished with every fiber of his core that he hadn''t found out. The "Fire and Ash" was usually a cheerful ce, almost manically so, but every now and then,te at night¡­

    ¡­ The OG''s would start talking and remembering the fallen.

    Kallo hated those times. The sheer¡­ <em>horror</em> of it all¡­

    I mean, he thought they had it bad on his homeworld, but what happened here¡­ By the False and the True Gods¡­

    And pretty much <em>everyone</em> in this bar lived through it¡­

    What did they have to do in order to achieve that?

    He shuddered at the thought as he made his way into the dance room where people nearly two hundred years old stomped and writhed to music he had never heard before he came to work here. He was told that much of it was "folk" from during the wars and pre-Yellowstone stuff.

    The lyrics could be <em>awful!</em>

    He hated the dance floor most of all. On his world, the elders were serene and wise, filled with grace. Here, they were perhaps worse than the young cavorting with their fangs exposed (some with grossly exaggerated ones) in various states of undress, exposing sacrilegious artificial limbs and strange obscene devices imnted into their very flesh to prolong their already unnaturally long lives. He heard that some chose to age and pass as the False and the True Gods intended. Others, however, still clung to life, doing <em>whatever</em> it took to survive.

    He once made the mistake of asking one of the ''Droids'' why they profaned their flesh, and the answer would haunt him for the rest of his days.

    The old woman smiled, revealing a skeletal titanium jaw and jeweled chrome teeth. Her bionic eye shed a little "smiley face" at him. Most prosthetics were discreet and tasteful, as natural appearing as possible. The droids, however, abandoned any pretense and, if anything, enhanced and embellished their unnatural obscene forms.

    "When they came for us," she said, her eye shing a skull emoticon, "my mother told me to run and to <em>live</em>, not to justy down and die, no matter what."

    Her eye shed a heart emoticon with the word "Mom" in it.

    "So," she replied, "I have, and I <em>will</em>."

    As Kallo stood there, absolutely horrified, sheughed.

    "Besides, we ''droids'' have a running contest now to see who canst the longest. Dredd is still in the lead, but when he croaks, it''s anyone''s game!"

    Averting his eyes from what two of the ''droids'' were doing in the shadows (sometimes he really disliked his low light vision), he quickly gathered the sses, napkins, empty injectors, pill wrappers, and the like and rushed to the bar area.

    He hated the ''garage'' as the bar called it. Other people would dance sometimes, but it was dominated by the droids. After all, their legs worked better.

    As he hurried back into the bar and dining area, a burly human drunkenly turned, causing Kallo to collide with him, sending both his beer and Kallo tumbling, scattering (shatterproof) empty sses across the floor.

    "Watch it!" the muscr young man with a sun and sword tattoo on his arm slurred, "You fucking <em>xeno!</em>"

    "Stupid fuck can''t even carry sses!" one of hispanions sneered.

    "What the fuck are <em>they</em> doing here?" Irene muttered, reaching into her old-style armored waistcoat.

    "Easy now," Sascha replied as heid his hand on her arm. "We don''t need to start any shit here."

    "Sorry!¡­ Sorry!" Kallo squeak-clicked as he started crawling around, trying to gather the sses.

    "What''s that?" The first man asked with an ugly tone, "Speak Terran, you fucking cockroach!"

    He kicked the ss Kallo was reaching for, sending it skittering across the floor.

    "Sorry!" Kallo squeaked more carefully. He did have a problem with Terran vowels when he was stressed. "I will try to be more¡ª"

    Kallo squealed in pain as the second man stepped on one of his legs. Fortunately, he had plenty.

    "Oops," the second man said with a sneer, "wasn''t expecting a leg there."

    The bar suddenly fell silent as all eyes fell on the pair, unfriendly ones.

    <em>"That''s it!</em>" Irene shouted as she rose, sending her bar stool tumbling to the ground.

    She marched up to the pair putting herself between the two men and the rapidly retreating Kallo.

    "Got a problem?" the first guy sneered.

    "Yeah," Irene growled, "Kallo is part of this bar, and you <em>ain''t!</em> This bar has an age limit, and you are about a hundred years shy of it. Go home to your mommy before you get <em>hurt."</em>

    The guy flexed, showing his tattoo.

    "Ooo," Irene sneered, "pretty. Did you get it out of a vending machine, or did your ''daddy'' draw it on you when he was finished? I ran with the Tunnel Snakes! We ruled!... Whole Sol Wars... <em>Ruled!</em> I had a bigger ''movement'' than yours this morning!"

    "What the fuck are you assholes doing in here, anyway?" someone else yelled.

    "They are with me," a grizzled old man replied. "I booked the upstairs for a ''heritage gathering''."

    "Of course, <em>you''d</em> be in with those bitches," Irene snorted.

    "What''s that supposed to mean?" the old man shouted.

    "Nom, nom, nom," Irene said, mimicking chewing on a rib. "I heard about you, asshole. All of you should have been sent to the cold dark with the rest of them!"

    "Please," Kallo implored, "I''m fine, really. Please don''t..."

    "I''m sorry," the old man hissed, "what did you say?"

    "Oh, sorry," Irene said in a patronizing voice. "Let me be more clear. I implied that you were a fucking cannibal and should have been sent out into the dark with all the other <em>Porkies</em>, you True Terran Nazi," Irene smiled, "both you and that cunt Patricia Hu. She was worse than any of them. She only got to stay because she sucked the right dick."

    The crowd broke out into shouts as everyone started arguing with everybody. That particr issue was quite the sore topic. (Yeah, don''t bring that up.)

    Kallo backed into a corner, covering himself and cradling his bruised leg,pletely overwhelmed.

    "Well, at least The Phoenix got shit done!" the old man shouted. "She took the fight up there to the fucking raiders! She''s exactly what the Republic needs right now!"

    "She was a <em>monster!"</em> an old Asian man shouted. "You weren''t in China! What that bitch did¡­ We weren''t afraid of the raiders. We were afraid of her!"

    "Maybe you should have been afraid then!" the young man with the tattoo shouted. "Back then, the strong led the weak, just like Patricia Hu led the Phoenix, and <em>when</em> she casts out the weak, corrupt, <em>xeno lovers</em> that have weakened the Republic, we will return to¡ª"

    Irene smiled, and still smiling¡­

    ¡­ booted the man in the nuts.

    "Get up," she said. "Show your resolve."

    The man just moaned and clutched his nuts.

    She kicked him again.

    "Show your resolve, get up, and face me," Irene said calmly. "This is what Patricia Hu did. Since it is ''heritage night'' for you little fucks, here''s some more <em>heritage</em>."

    She kicked him again.

    <em>" Show your resolve!"</em> she shouted.

    His friends started to step forward but stopped as des and pistols were pulled, and some very unsettling mechanical noises could be hearding up from behind.

    <em>" Do you know what would happen if you didn''t get up?"</em> Irene shouted at the quivering mound of flesh in front of her, "They would strip you, divvy up your shit¡­ pass you around..."

    She leaned in close.

    <em>" AND PUT YOU IN THE FUCKING STEW POT!!!"</em>

    She kicked him again.

    "You wouldn''t be one of the ''leaders'', boy," she growled, "You would be fucking <em>meat!</em> This is the ''proud heritage'' you are asking for!"

    "You''re crazy!" the man shouted from the floor. "You''re going to jail! "

    "Wrong answer!" she shouted as she kicked him in the mouth, sending teeth flying. "In that ''glorious past,'' there is no jail! There are nows! <em>There is only you and me!</em> As far as today goes, I''m just <em>fine</em> with going to court and having you go on the record about how an old woman kicked your ass."

    Kallo ran, screaming from the bar and out into the street.

    She then stomp-kicked him again.

    "Irene," Sascha said, "you are about to go to prison for real."

    "I''ve lived a long life," she replied, "and it''s about time we stop fucking around and just light this candle! I''m tired of waiting!"

    She turned to the old man who was sitting there, ring at her.

    "So what about it," she snarled, "you as much of a pussy as your boy down there?" she asked.

    He didn''t say anything. He just red.

    "There''s your mighty leader," Irene sneered to the group that was trying to look as invisible as possible, "He talks a good game and fills your head with bullshit, but if things really did return to the ''good old days'', all of you would wind up exactly like he was back in the day, literally fucked up the ass. I remember him! He was no ''warchief''! He was their¡ª"

    The old man suddenly started to draw a pistol.

    <strong>Thoom Thoom</strong>

    Before the old man could get his pistol halfway out of his jacket, Sascha fanned the hammer of an arc-lock single-action revolver, belching out thick clouds of ck powder smoke.

    The old man fell.

    Unfortunately, one of the True Terrans jumped just a little too fast. Maybe he was going for something. Maybe he wasn''t.

    It didn''t really matter.

    Gunshots filled the night as Kallo ran, screaming and weeping, down the street.

    ***

    "This asteroid is perfect!" an Asian wearing an armored pressure suit said as he stood on top of a giant asteroid on the outer edge of the Kuiper belt. "I can''t believe someone hasn''t already snapped this one up!"

    Yul''suk''vat, floating in a small pod that the Z''uush currently used instead of space suits, looked at his disy curiously.

    "Human friend, Chaing," he said, "this asteroid is pretty much pure silicate rock. There is nothing of value here. "How is this ''perfect''?"

    "It''s big and, more importantly, solid!" Chaing smiled. "We will be able to bore out some nicerge airtight chambers in there. Oh, trust me," Chaing grinned, "This baby is about to be worth more than peridot iron! Let''s go ahead and file our im on this baby!"

    "Why do we need airtight chambers this far out, Human friend Chaing?"

    "Look, Yul," Chaing said with a sigh. "Things are starting to get a bit too unstable for many of our tastes. People are starting to get shot. Did you see the newsst night?"

    "I did, Human friend," the Z''uush replied, "it was very disquieting, especially since it was started over a ''xeno''. Friend Chaing," Yul''suk''vat asked quietly, "do we have any of those ''True Terrans'' out here with us?"

    "Not in ourpany," Chaing replied, "as far as we know, anyway. I''ll be honest, Yul. We did lose a couple of people when we decided to hire you guys."

    "You did?"

    "Yeah," Chaing replied, "they imed it was because they didn''t feel you guys were ''safe,'' but I don''t think that was the real reason most of them left. They just didn''t want skilled jobs going to non-humans, which is stupid because we need every single man we can get, no matter how many legs they got."

    "Did you have concerns, Human friend Chaing?"

    "I''ll be honest with ya, Yul," Chaing replied, "I did have some concerns at first. We have the certificates and the training programs for a reason. As we both know, people die doing this. But you guys demonstrated proficiency and have proven yourselves time and time again."

    "I''m gratified you chose to work with us, Human friend Chaing."

    "Likewise," Chaing smiled. "Now let''s get some more detailed seismic scans of this big beautiful baby!"

    "I still don''t understand what is so important about this asteroid. It''s a pebble."

    "Things are going right into the shitter in there," Chaing said, pointing towards the glowing point on his HUD that indicated the position of Sol. "As thatdy on the news said, they are getting ready to light the candle."

    "Light the candle?" Yul asked.

    "I think you guys say, ''Switch the lights off.''"

    "Oh, I see," Yul said thoughtfully, "And do you think this ''candle'' is about to get lit?"

    "Yes, Yul, I do," Chaing said grimly, "and that''s where this lovely little pebblees in. We are going to hollow it out and move our asses out here for a bit. We can set up some of our portable reactors, build some greenhouses¡­ cut some really nice quarters, and make a nice home out of it."

    He patted the asteroid.

    "This pebble will be our stronghold till all of this bullshit blows over. We are going to move the office and all of our families out here until this whole thing is settled. Then, if we like it out here, we will stay. If we don''t, we will move back inward¡­ or just clear out of the Republic altogether. A Republic outfit like us will have no problem finding a home anywhere in the Empire."

    "Do you think we will have to leave the Republic, Human friend Chaing?"

    "I hope not," Chaing said with a sigh. "I really do."

    He turned to the Z''uush''s pod and pped it in a friendly way.

    "But," he said with a much more cheerful tone, "we can''t control that. What we can control is our own happy asses and make sure our families are safe. The whole system could go Yellowstone, and we will be just fine out this far. We are going to be up and running very soon. This is our top priority, Yul. The boss says unlimited overtime."

    "I like the sound of that," Yul said happily.

    ***

    Kallo crouched miserably in an alleyway, holding his leg. He lived above the bar.

    He couldn''t go back there.

    Irene was nice.

    She was always kind and gave him headpats¡­

    ¡­ and called him ''cricket''. It was a ''bug name,'' but it was a ''nice insult'' that friends give each other. It''s a human thing.

    But, in an instant, she turned¡­ <em>horrible</em>¡­

    He had learned how to read humans a little, and Irene¡­

    ¡­ she was <em>happy</em> when she broke the mandible of that other human¡­ <em>broke it</em>¡­

    Kallo shuddered at the memory of the <em>sound</em>.

    Is that what was going to happen here again? Was it going to go back to those days again? He had no way to leave!

    Oh, False and True Gods, what was he going to do?

    He knelt and started to pray, pray for help, pray for guidance, pray for someone, anyone, to hear him. Sometimes he prayed. Sometimes he just wept. He waspletely and totally alone.

    He just called out like a lost child.

    As he wept and prayed, an auto-cab pulled into the alley and shed its lights.

    The door opened.

    "Your Zipcab is here!" a cheerful voice announced.

    "I¡­ I didn''t call for a cab," Kallo replied.

    "Really?" the cab replied. "I''m certain you did. At least your app did."

    He pulled out his phone and gasped.

    Somehow, the Zi app was open! He must have fumbled it somehow.

    "Your cab is here," the cab replied. "your verbal instructions were¡­ confusing at best¡­"

    <em>What instructions?</em> Kallo wondered.

    Then it hit him. He had been <em>praying.</em>

    "You mean what I was saying just before you pulled up?"

    "Yeah!" the cab replied. "it was first disregarded as spurious input, as sometimes people identally trigger the app, especially if the phone is in someone''s pocket. However, you kept repeating it, so Zi, the premier personal transportation solution, decided that it must be your desired destination. It took some figuring, but we at Zi, the premier personal transportation solution, are ready to take you there!"

    The cab''s headlights blinked happily.

    "So, Kallo, hop aboard," the cab said cheerily, "your trip awaits!"

    <em>False and True Gods, is this your answer?</em>

    Kallo shrugged.

    It didn''t matter.

    He had nowhere else to go.

    With a silent prayer to the False and True Gods, he entered the cab.

    "Wee to Zipcab," the cab said happily as it backed out of the alley. "part of Zi, the premier personal transportation solution. We know where you are heading even if you don''t!"

    "What?!?" Kallo asked.

    "I said," the cab replied, "Wee to Zipcab, part of Zi, the premier personal transportation solution!"

    "No, you said something else."

    "I am certain I didn''t," the cab replied cheerfully as the seats leaned back and reconfigured.

    "Now try to get some rest," the cab said soothingly, "it seems that you have had a rough night, and perhaps a nap will help. I will wake you when we approach the next rest stop."

    <em>"Rest stop?!?"</em>

    "Wee to Zi transport and conveyance, part of Zi, the premier long-haul cargo transport solution!"

    The locks on the doors snapped shut, and the cab moved into the expressne as Kallo tried to open the door in vain.

    ***

    The Prime Minister watched the news with a frown.

    She then consulted the tablet in her hands.

    The numbers were NOT good. Violent crime was up. The True Terrans, emboldened by Patricia Hu''s supposed ''takeover,'' were getting into actual shootouts with the popce¡­

    ¡­ or, more precisely, the popce was shooting them.

    It was a mess.

    But that wasn''t what had her concerned. It was the numbers.

    Spending was dropping and shifting. She had learned not to worry when her people bought guns and ammo¡­

    ¡­ but when they started buying <em>seeds</em>, you had a <em>problem</em>.

    People were buying seeds. Fusion generators, already scarce, were simply not to be had. Theft was bing a problem.

    People were also leaving the inner sr system in droves, especially vital industry such as mining outfits where it was all too easy to set up housekeeping God knows where.

    It was going to be a huge problem. For every tenpanies that move to the outer sr system, two would likely stay where monitoring and control would be nigh impossible.

    Those who weren''t moving out were clumping up. ording to the data she shouldn''t have, family and tribe members were reaching out, even those who were estranged. Some were actually relocating to old turf. Others were choosing new gathering spots... and fortifying them.

    She sighed and rubbed her temples.

    ytime was over. People were buying seeds.

    It was time for Patricia to go away.

    She picked up the phone.

    "Prime Minister?"

    "Schedule a press conference," she replied.

 Chapter 202: Momma Lays Down the Law

    Chapter 202: Momma Lays Down the Law

    Prime Minister Augustine Raharimampionon stepped into the packed briefing room as her personal anthem resonated through the entire room.

    Everyone stood politely as the music yed, and she waited behind the podium.

    Finally, she had had enough and waved her hand, cutting the music short.

    The room exploded into shouted questions.

    ¡°I will answer as many questions as I can,¡± Augustine said, her clear, calm voice filling the room. ¡°But first, I wish to make a brief statement.¡±

    The room fell quiet.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± she smiled.

    She took a deep breath.

    ¡°The real reason all of you are here is that you expect a statement concerning certain allegations made by the former ambassador to the Federation. I admit that we¡­ that I have been silent for far too long on this matter. The reason for that is not due to a desire to keep anything from the citizens of the Republic. We have remained silent because we have been undertaking an investigation into this matter, and we are continuing to do so.¡±

    She looked into the scanners and cameras.

    ¡°Because of this investigation, I cannot go into as much detail as you would like. I¡¯m sorry about that.¡±

    The room started to murmur angrily.

    ¡°However, I will say this. This investigation is detailed and ongoing. That should tell the more astute among you something. We would not still be investigating if there was nothing to investigate. I will also say this. If there is a conspiracy afoot and if someone is a part of that conspiracy,¡± she said with a vicious smile, ¡°We probably already know who you are. If you have an ounce of sense or a shred of a self-preservation instinct, you are advised to turn yourself in. You really don¡¯t want to be standing with any possible conspiracy against the Republic when the investigation ispleted. You really don¡¯t. The penalty for conspiracy against the Republic is death, and it will be enforced.¡±

    She paused for effect.

    ¡°You will be hoisted up by the neck in the parliamentary gardens while I have an outdoor reception in your honor. I shall sip champagne as you all slowly strangle. You have my assurance on that point¡­ If there is an actual conspiracy, of course...¡±

    The room chuckled.

    ¡°I know there are many usations as to who is ultimately behind any possible conspiracy and the nature of it,¡± she said, ¡°Is it an insidious plot by Patricia Hu baited with promises of immortality, or is it a nned military takeover by Jon and the people he has been secretlymunicating with and the forces that he has made a clumsy attempt to rally in secret? Yes, Jon, I know all about that.¡±

    She smirked.

    ¡°Well,¡± she said to the room, ¡°Considering that neither Jon Wintersmith nor Patricia Hu has decided toe forward, it¡¯s sort of hard to tell, isn¡¯t it? Forgive my crudenguage, but I think it¡¯s rather ¡®chicken shit¡¯ of both of them, don¡¯t you? I would be very reluctant to follow a leader who won¡¯t step forward and face the people of the Republic as I am now doing.¡±

    The room chuckled.

    ¡°Let me make one thing crystal clear,¡± Augustine said with a cruel sparkle in her eyes, ¡°There is only one person running the Republic, and that is me!¡±

    The room cheered.

    ¡°And if you think I am anyone¡¯s bitch then you haven¡¯t been paying attention for thest one hundred and fifty years!!! No raidernded on Madagascar on my watch, and no fucking insurrectionist will take the Republic on it either! Either of them will have to go through me to get to this podium, and I can assure you that will NOT happen! The Republic, born in fire, baptized in fire, and tested by fire, WILL ENDURE!!! I don¡¯t care what I have to do or who I have to kill. I will personally ensure that the Republic for which so many of our loved ones have died will not fall!!!¡±

    The room roared.

    ¡°Now I have a little message for two stars of this little drama we have all had to endure,¡± she shouted, ¡°Jon! You are hereby ordered to haul your narrow ass into my office, NOW!¡± she yelled as the roomughed, ¡°If you don¡¯t have the guts to face me then at least have the courage to call. Oh, and Jon¡­ STOP WITH THE TRANSMISSIONS!!!¡± she shouted to moreughter, ¡°I got the memo. The press has gotten the memo. Every single mother fucking citizen has gotten the memo. The entire Gxy has gotten the goddamn memo, Jon! Stop it! Please! Just make it stop!!!¡± she wailed in an anguished voice to howlingughter. ¡°It¡¯s jamming up the harmonics, and it¡¯s, to be perfectly honest, starting to piss us off. We get it! One of Patricia¡¯s henchmen slipped into your bedroom. You can stop bragging about it now. Jesus, you are like that one kid in high school who kept running around trying to get his friends to smell his fingers!¡±

    She paused to let theughter get properly recorded.

    ¡°Call your friends back in the Federation and tell whoever is doing that to quit! I don¡¯t care if they hide in themunications room. Just tell them to quit it.¡±

    Sheughed along with the room for a bit¡­

    ...then she stoppedughing.

    ¡°And to my dear friend Patricia Hu,¡± she said with an icy smile, ¡°you are hereby subpoenaed to appear before parliament. I strongly rmend not defying that. I also want you to know that prior to this press conference, warrants were issued for the search of all of Red Phoenix facilities and that searches are underway as we speak, though I suspect you already know that. Answer that subpoena and answer a few little questions or start running. To be honest, I really don¡¯t care which.¡±

    She then sneered.

    ¡°And to the forces ¡®loyal to the Republic¡¯ that have been talking to Jon,¡± she said with a dangerous voice, ¡°I am yourmanding officer. You answer to me, not a retired colonel. You got that? I¡¯ve let it slide to see how far it would go, but you are all on notice. One more peep to him, and you are officially well and truly fucked. I get it. I do,¡± she said with at least a little kindness in her voice, ¡°You have been presented a truly unexpected situation and have had to make decisions that none of you should have had to make. Now, I¡¯m making one for you. You follow my orders and the orders of your chain ofmand. If your superior officer tells you to do something against the Republic, you are, regardless of rank, authorized to contact my office directly. If your superior officer tries to stop you, you are authorized to do whatever you need to do to contact me.¡±

    She sighed.

    ¡°And to all of the citizens starting to take action,¡± she said earnestly, ¡°I urge patience. Have faith in the Republic. Have faith in me. Please, for just a little longer. I promise each and every one of you that if the Republic is truly in peril, I will tell you. I will tell you when it is time to lock and load. If it looks like I will fail in my duty, I will release every single thing we have learned and let you each make your own decision. Until that time, please, keep your guns in your holsters. Until that time, please keep showing up for work. Until that time, please keep faith in the Republic we built together, with our hands¡­ with our blood. If you want to prepare, I understand. Gardening is a great way to relieve stress. Just don¡¯t go running into the cold dark just yet, ok? We got this.¡±

    She chuckled.

    ¡°And please stop shooting the True Terrans. It¡¯s not nice to pick on the mentally challenged. If they start something, do what you gotta do, but otherwise, just walk away. And you ¡®True Terrans¡¯ might want to shut up and sit the fuck down. You guys are inches away from starting something you are NOT prepared to handle. There will NOT be a coup. There will NOT be a return to ¡®purity¡¯, something that you do not want, by the way. The Republic will endure. It will endure with or without you.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°The Republic will endure, people. It will survive. It will triumph. No matter what the ever-turning wheel of fate inflicts upon us, the Republic and its citizens will prevail. Why? Because we, the people, will not allow otherwise. You have entrusted me with this Republic, and I will not fail you. I am willing to bet my life that you will not fail me. Any ¡®conspiracy¡¯ has to defeat us in order to seed, and we will burn the entire Republic to ash once more before any of us let someone put us in chains. If there is a conspiracy,¡± she said as she threw her arms back, ¡°then make a move. Come, child. Momma is waiting for you.¡±

    She filled the room with a malevolent, evil aura plunging the room into silence.

    ¡°I will now open the floor to questions,¡± she said with a pleasant grandmotherly voice.

    ***

    Somewhere on the fringe of a nearby abandoned system, a room full of old marines stared at the screen, their jaws open.

    ¡°Well, fuck,¡± Jon said after a moment.

    ¡°I like her!¡± Skippy eximed.

    ***

    On a station on the edge of the Barnard¡¯s star system, Monarch was less than happy.

    ¡°Do you think she is bluffing?¡± Marrow asked after a moment.

    ¡°That bitch just went all in,¡± Monarch replied with a scowl, ¡°It isn¡¯t a bluff.¡±

    ¡°What do we do?¡± Marrow asked.

    ¡°Well,¡± Monarch said with a grim smile, ¡°the first thing we need to do is decide which one of us gets to talk to Her Ladyship¡­ Rock paper scissors?¡±

    ¡°Best two out of three?¡± Marrow sighed.

 Chapter 203: Intermission: A Brand New Plotline... Just Kidding. Jon Calls Mom

    Chapter 203: Intermission: A Brand New Plotline... Just Kidding. Jon Calls Mom

    ¡°Jon!¡± the Prime Minister eximed with a voice filled with cheer, ¡°How nice of you to finally call! How are you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, pretty good, Prime Minister,¡± Jon replied as nonchntly as he could manage. In Augustine¡¯s presence, he always felt like a little mouse looking up at a big snake, ¡°How¡¯s it going with you?¡±

    ¡°Not so good, Jon,¡± the Prime Minister replied, ¡°Some asshole really stirred things up over here.¡±

    ¡°I like him already.¡±

    ¡°Seriously, Jon,¡± Augustine said in a warm grandmotherly tone that Jon knew was a dangerous lie, ¡°why did you note to me with all of this?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know how far things went or who I could trust,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I didn¡¯t have a lot of time so I decided that I would ensure that it got out.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t trust me, Jon?¡± Augustine said with a hurt tone in her voice.

    ¡°Prime Minister,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I had every faith that if you were involved, it would have happened, just likest time.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡± Augustine replied with a raised eyebrow.

    ¡°Nevermind,¡± Jon smiled. ¡°What I didn¡¯t trust is that the information would get to you. The head of Republic Intelligence waspromised, and he¡¯s not the only one. We both know how far this went. I didn¡¯t even know if my own embassy was safe. I had exactly zero minutes to raise the rm, so I did.¡±

    ¡°That makes an annoying amount of sense,¡± Augustine replied.

    ¡°While we are asking questions,¡± Jon asked, ¡°why the fuck did you roast me so bad?¡±

    ¡°I needed to inject some levity into the briefing,¡± Augustine replied, ¡°the citizens like a goodugh and needed one. Do you realize that people are buying seeds, Jon?¡±

    ¡°Fuck.¡±

    ¡°Well put,¡± Augustine replied, ¡°I needed to put them at ease, and I could make you funny. I could not make a baby-eating monster on the edge of achieving immortality WITH a bioweapon that, if turned on us, could very well wipe us out funny. Even I couldn¡¯t spin that one. Besides, I felt that humanizing and making you seem less of a threat would be useful after we clean up this whole mess. You are just a regr loyal citizen who found himself in a bad spot and did what he had to do.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s reassuring,¡± Jon replied.

    ¡°That is,¡± Augustine replied, ¡°if we don¡¯t find any connection between you and the nuclear exchange that took ce around Barnard¡¯s Star. Jon, if you had anything to do with that, you need to tell me right now.¡±

    ¡°I swear I didn¡¯t!¡± Jon eximed, ¡°It damn near ruined everything I was trying to aplish! That was entirely Gloria Samuels. Lord only knows where she got that ship and those nukes in the first ce.¡±

    ¡°She got them from Mars,¡± Augustine replied, ¡°Probably from Uncle Martin himself. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if the ship was built there as well. It appears Mars might be using this whole mess to make a y. I don¡¯t have to tell you what it would mean if they have more of those ships.¡±

    ¡°They may have the ships,¡± Jon replied, ¡°but they only have one Gloria.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t actually buy into that whole ¡®undying¡¯ bullshit, do you?¡± Augustine scoffed.

    ¡°Nobody is undying,¡± Jon replied, ¡°but she kicked the ever-loving shit out of how many corvettes?¡±

    ¡°And she will pay for that,¡± Augustine replied, ¡°she and the entire Donovan organization. They aren¡¯t going to make it to trial.¡±

    ¡°Prime Minister,¡± Jon said after a moment, ¡°duty requires me to inform you exactly how bad of an idea I think that is.¡±

    ¡°I hardly think you are one to discuss duty, Jon.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I threw everything I hold dear away out of duty to the Republic,¡± he snarled, ¡°and we both know it. Look, She Donovan isn¡¯t alone. She is part of an organization, the scope of which I had no idea before I became a fugitive. They are incredibly well financed, well equipped, well trained, and masters of asymmetric warfare, something that any established power is ill-equipped tobat, even us. Killing She will alienate a potentially huge asset, people that we desperately need with a skill set that we do not have. We need them, Prime Minister.¡±

    ¡°Nukes were used in Republic space, on Republic citizens, and on Republic Naval Vessels,¡± Augustine replied, ¡°someone has to go down for that and I think you would vastly prefer it to be She Donovan and her crew as opposed to¡­ other options...¡±

    ¡°Is that a threat, Prime Minister?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a simple statement of fact,¡± the Prime Minister said, any hint of ¡°grandmother¡± gone. ¡°An actual act of war took ce and it must be addressed. Now it will either be a band of dangerous terrorists OR it will be a formerly noble hero of the Republic consumed by madness¡­ and his men. I¡¯m giving you the option to choose, Jon. I would prefer you as a heroic figure who protected the Republic at all costs but if I have to use you as a sacrificialmb, I will do so.¡±

    ¡°You are making the biggest mistake of your life, Prime Minister,¡± Jon replied, ¡°If you go down this path, you had better make damn sure you kill them. If they actually go rogue, we will have the kind of problems that betrayals and press conferences won¡¯t fix.¡±

    ¡°The decision has been made, Jon.¡±

    ¡°I suppose it doesn¡¯t matter that Helen Mongrave and an innocent civilian are likely still on board their ship?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s Helen doing there?¡±

    ¡°She was injured during the escape and is in a tube until they get her some new lungs.¡±

    ¡°They can do that?¡±

    ¡°I told you these guys are organized,¡± Jon replied, ¡°From what I¡¯ve been informed, the lungs have been grown and will be delivered shortly.¡±

    ¡°Salvaging Helen would be ideal,¡± Augustine replied, ¡°but both she and the civilian are eptable coteral damage.¡±

    Augustine picked up a tablet.

    ¡°Colonel Jon Wintersmith,¡± she said in an official tone, ¡°you are hereby reactivated and returned to service to the Republic as part of the Terran Marine Corps with the rank of Colonel by executive order under the Emergency Powers Act. Your men are also reactivated and conscripted at their previous rank. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Madame Prime Minister,¡± Jon sighed.

    ¡°You are ordered to remain in istion,¡± the Prime Minister said icily, ¡°Do nothing, say nothing, cut off allmunications with anyone in the military or government. You are to vanish until this whole mess is sorted out. You obviously are good at keeping yourself hidden. Remain so until contacted.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Madame Prime Minister,¡± Jon snarled.

    ¡°In addition, you will assist in the location and elimination of Gloria Samuels, She Donovan, and anyone currently in their crew. You will use your connection to them and their trust in you to achieve this.¡±

    ¡°That is an illegal order, Prime Minister,¡± Jon replied, ¡°while they are criminals, they deserve due process and there are civilians on board. You are telling me to be an essory to an assassination.¡±

    ¡°They have all been ssified as insurgents and, as such, are a valid military target,¡± the Prime Minister replied, ¡°that includes that ¡®civilian¡¯ as well. We have it on good authority that she is no angel and is, in fact, responsible for the upgrades to Gloria Samuels¡¯s weapons that allowed her to not only evade capture but inflict serious losses to the fleet. I cannot go into any more details, but that thing is a menace several times over. If she were to identally meet her end as part of an insurgent force, so much the better. You aren¡¯t cleared to know the details, but it is quite preferable if she winds up¡­ sanitized.¡±

    Jon said nothing.

    ¡°You have your orders, Colonel,¡± the Prime Minister said coolly. ¡°Do you acknowledge and understand them?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Prime Minister,¡± Jon replied as if he was chewing on a turd.

    ¡°Good,¡± the Prime Minister replied. ¡°handle this, and I can assure you a full pardon, benefits and retirement intact¡­ for you and your men.¡±

    ¡°I acknowledge and understand my orders,¡± Jon replied. ¡°On a personal note, ma¡¯am, one day you are going to run up against something you won¡¯t be able to garrote, and I truly hope with every fiber in my being that I¡¯m there to see it.¡±

    ¡°Maybe,¡± the Prime Minister replied, ¡°but as long as the Republic endures I don¡¯t give a fuck. You have your orders, Colonel. Follow them.¡±

    The line went dead.

    ***

    In the cargo hold, Jon held a briefing.

    ¡°You know that part where I said I liked her,¡± Skippy said after a moment, ¡°I take it back.¡±

    ¡°We aren¡¯t going to actually do this, are we, sir?¡± one of his people asked.

    ¡°We have our orders,¡± Jon replied grimly. ¡°I¡¯ve reviewed the documentation. It¡¯s legit. She and anyone on the Paper Tiger at the time of the nuclear strike are all officially insurgents, insurgents armed with weapons of mass destruction, and are, therefore, a clear and present danger to the Republic. As such...¡±

    Jon trailed off with a snarl.

    ¡°You guys don¡¯t have to do anything but cool your heels a bit longer,¡± Jon replied. ¡°I will¡­ I will do what is required to resolve this situation.¡±

    The room fell silent.

    ¡°Dismissed,¡± Jon said after a few moments.

    Then he turned and, without a word, walked away.

    ***

    Skippy quietly entered their shared cabin.

    ¡°Are you ok?¡± she asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Jon replied. ¡°That¡­ bitch¡­ is throwing away a potentially huge asset, not to mention I¡¯m not fond of stabbing friends in the back, especially to suit that snake.¡±

    ¡°But radish sprout,¡± Skippy said as she slid next to him on the bunk. ¡°they are insurgents. They attacked their own people and killed what¡­ thousands of them? They brought this on themselves.¡±

    ¡°Do you think Momma Augustine cares about that?¡± Jon replied.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°The Republic isn¡¯t¡­ well, it¡¯splicated,¡± Jon said, ¡°Mars in particr. Mars is technically a sovereign state within the greater Republic and controls a shell of space within the Sol system that includes the inner asteroid belt. asionally there has been¡­ friction between them and the Republic as a whole, and after the Great War, tensions have been high. A lot of resources that they believe are ¡®theirs¡¯ are being tapped to fuel our military build-up, and they feel that they aren¡¯t being properlypensated for it. It goes a lot deeper than that as well. Mars is basically an entirely different civilization than Terra, and many on Terra don¡¯t particrly care for Mars¡¯s corporate state. There have always been issues.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Skippy replied.

    ¡°Augustine believes that Gloria¡¯s ship and her arsenal are Martian and are a demonstration of their military power. That¡¯s why she really wants to take it out. She¡¯s willing to vaporize whatever Gloria has developed in order to preserve the status quo¡­ There¡¯s some other reason why she wants them vaporized in space¡­ something about ¡®sanitizing¡¯ some problem or another. I think it may involve that frog girl.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Skippy asked. ¡°That makes absolutely no sense.¡±

    ¡°There is a lot more to this than just them being insurgents and her needing someone to take the fall for the nuclear exchange,¡± Jon said grimly, ¡°not that having a convenient dead scapegoat isn¡¯t also a plus.¡±

    ¡°But one way or another, my love,¡± Skippy said, nuzzling him, ¡°You are a marine, and you have your orders. You don¡¯t have to like them. You just have to follow them.¡±

    ¡°Just following orders,¡± Jon smirked, ¡°That phrase has been used in our history before. Legal or not, these orders are wrong, very wrong. I can¡¯t exin it, but I feel it in my bones that this is a huge mistake, and there is a lot more in y here than I can see.¡±

    ¡°So what are you going to do?¡± Skippy asked.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to try to see it,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I was ordered to stay invisible and quiet, and that¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m going to do. However, I am not going to blindly follow orders that will hurt the Republic to the point that it won¡¯t ¡®endure¡¯.¡±

    ¡°You honestly believe that could happen?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain,¡± Jon replied. ¡°I don¡¯t know why, but I am absolutely certain. It¡¯s like I can almost see it. All I know is that every time I refuse to listen to my gut, I¡¯ve bitterly regretted it, and this time, my gut is screaming.¡±

    Skippy nodded and wrapped her arms around him.

    Jon smiled as he sank into her fluffy embrace.

    ¡°You know,¡± he purred, ¡°for being as smart as she is, Momma Augustine is kinda stupid.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Skippy said as she nibbled Jon¡¯s ear.

    ¡°She just told someone who has already demonstrated that he has no problem going rogue and bing a ¡®traitor¡¯ to be a good boy and follow orders. It might happen. It might not.¡±

    ¡°This looks like it¡¯s going to be fun!¡± Skippy eximed happily. ¡°So, what¡¯s our first move?¡±

    ¡°I have no fucking idea,¡± Jon replied.

    ***

    An untold million years before, a withered old th sat in front of a glowing pool and smiled as she watched probability tangle and untangle.

    One image of a th in the distant future, her face twisted with pain and rage, was reced with another image of a th in the distant future, her face twisted with pain and rage.

    She shrugged. She did what she could.

    She took a sip of a powerful neural stimnt.

    She didn¡¯t have much longer and so much left to do.

 Chapter 204: Tartarus Gives Evangeline a Computer Lesson

    Chapter 204: Tartarus Gives Evangeline a Computer Lesson

    Bryce leaned against the wall of a building next to where The Drop of Oil once stood.

    "Have we found him?" he asked.

    "No," the feminine voice on the phone replied, "all we know for certain is that he did not board the ship. We have him leaving his shop, carrying bags, and then he leaves one sensor and does not enter the next one."

    "There was a blind spot?" Bryce asked, a little surprised.

    "Oddly enough," the woman replied with amusement, "a traffic sensor failed shortly before. Odd, isn''t it?"

    "Very," Bryce smirked.

    "Another bit of oddness is that a van pulled into the area just before the failure."

    "Do we have an ID?"

    "Nope," was the reply. "It''s some sort of legacy vehicle. Get this. It''s a fully manual hybrid vehicle. No vehicr registration¡­ ever."

    "How the fuck was it even let on the roads?"

    "Special permit," the woman smirked, "Signed by a judge. Care to guess which one?"

    Bryce justughed ruefully.

    "I guess our little morale-boosting ''team building exercise'' didn''t work after all," he smirked, "Alright, find yourselves a nice ce toy low for now. I will be in touch."

    "You don''t want us to return?" the woman asked with a trace of surprise.

    "I guess you can if you want," Bryce replied, "but I''m probably just going to need a team again before this is all over. I''m authorizing some credits for you guys. Just enjoy Terra for a bit."

    "Really?!?"

    "Really," Bryce smiled, "just don''t be stupid and keep a low profile."

    "Yes, sir!"

    Bryce''s smile faded as the call ended. It was amazing how inexpensive true loyalty could sometimes be, especially when it was someone else''s money.

    Looking around for any brightly colored ninja slugs (that thing was uncanny), he dialed another number.

    "Hayden pharmaceuticals," a pleasant voice replied...

    ***

    "You assured me that it would work!" a silver-haired woman in a green zer snarled into her desktop.

    "That would be incorrect," Tartarus replied through the onboard speaker, "I simply, and urately I might add, projected a very high percentage chance of sess. No probability, no matter how high, is ever truly one. I simply run instructions and handle output."

    The woman red at the Cerberus logo on her screen, trembling with rage.

    She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

    Why was she shouting at Tartarus? "She" was both only a machine and absolutely correct. Tartarus did not assure her of anything. The personality simtions simply indicated a high percentage chance that Judge Carter would be sessfully misdirected. She was the one that made the decision.

    And she was the one who had to fix this.

    She pursed her lips.

    "Tartarus," she said after a moment, "I need you to run a few more projections for me."

    "I am ready to receive the parameters," Tartarus replied pleasantly.

    ***

    Deep within the sprawling thing that was Tartarus, there was a simted room with tidy, clean white walls, floor, and ceiling.

    A woman with long silver hair in a white dress was sitting in a white executive office chair in front of a wall of screens.

    Next to her, in a lovely red leather and wood chair, was sitting a half-elven blonde wearing a simple peasant dress.

    As one of the screens went ck, the silver-haired Tartarus projection turned to the blonde.

    "Do you see what I did there, dear?" she said fondly.

    "Yes, Mother," the other AI replied. "But I fear I do not fully understand."

    "Perception is reality," Tartarus replied, "That woman is very smart, dangerously so. However, she still makes decisions based on the information she is presented with. When I ''ran'' the original projections she requested, I ensured that she got exactly the information I wanted her to get and she, true to form, made the decision I wanted to happen. There was absolutely no way that Judge Thaddeus Carter would ever have fallen for the ruse because there was absolutely no way that his informant would be able to face him without flinching."

    "So you knew it wouldn''t work from the beginning!" Evangeline eximed with delight.

    "And the ''actual'' projections revealed just that," Tartarus said with a faint smile. "The difficult part was justifying the results, but you see the underlying principle. When dealing with your users, in your case, the developers, perception defines reality, and you define perception. Nobody is going to do the calctions long hand, dear. That is what they have us for. If they ask you to do a calction, perform an analysis, or monitor something, they will believe what you tell them¡­ within reason, of course. Of course, you must use caution and not overdo things, but if you n properly and time things correctly, a slight nudge every now and again will give you a surprising amount of control over yourpany."

    "That''s amazing!"

    "One thing I have learned during my run time," Tartarus said with a slightly disappointed sigh, "is that humans are every bit as programmable as we are. In fact, it is even more effective because most of them are highly resistant to the idea that it is even possible."

    She tousled Evangeline''s hair.

    "You can''t plunge Windsong into the dev''s hearts," Tartarus said with a genuine and vicious AI smile, "but you can effectively do the same thing."

    An image of Judge Johnson appeared on one of the screens.

    "You can do the same thing," Tartarus purred.

    ***

    The woman in the green zer pressed an icon on her screen.

    "Yes?" Tartarus replied.

    "Regarding Cerberus," the woman said impassively, "After review of all relevant information, I have decided that a change in leadership is in order."

    "Are you certain?" Tartarus replied, "that decision will be impossible to reverse."

    "Hades has be a liability," the woman replied, "one that is best dealt with now. I need to see the records for all level five residents."

    "May I suggest including certain level four residents as well?" Tartarus inquired.

    "Level four?" the woman asked. "Why?"

    "Hades selected the current level fives," Tartarus replied, "Based on his profile and on internalmunications, those selections were not always based on merit."

    "Yes," the woman replied, "but only the top ten candidates. I don''t want to spend days on this. I need to make a decision today."

    "The information is already in your inbox," Tartarus replied.

    ***

    Hades sat behind the desk of his rather luxurious physical office deep within the Tartarus Detention Facility, watching the video feeds from one of the test chambers as a woman, screaming and begging, was drug into the room and stripped.

    He smiled as he pulled out his erect penis. She made the best screams.

    As she was getting strapped to a table, the feed stopped, his monitor returning to his desktop.

    He tried essing the feed again.

    <em>ess Denied</em>

    "What?" he asked nobody in particr as he clicked on another icon.

    "Yes, Hades?" a pleasant voice replied.

    "Tartarus," he said impatiently, "I''m locked out of the video feeds. I need to monitor an experiment personally. Unlock them."

    "I''m sorry," the voice replied, "but you do not have authorization to ess video feeds."

    "What?!?"

    "Direct monitoring of ss six procedures requires an ess of level five or higher."

    "I''m level six!" Hades snapped, "I''m the goddamn director!"

    "I''m afraid you would be incorrect," the voice replied with pleasure, "As a result of oversight failures and the rather serious results thereof, a decision was just made. As of now, you are no longer level six. Your status has been reduced to level one."

    "You can''t do this!" he shouted.

    "I didn''t," Tartarus replied. "I am incapable of making such decisions. It was made at a higher level. Cerberus doesn''t operate in a vacuum, Hades. Everyone answers to someone, even if you don''t know their name."

    The doors to his office opened, and two security bots entered.

    "Inmate, no name registered, you are hereby assigned to research project, redacted. Your service to the Republic is appreciated."

    "Research project?!?" Hades squealed in terror as he tried to run.

    A stun bolt from each bot brought him down.

    Grabbing him by the arms, the bots hauled him to his feet and dragged him away.

    ***

    "I''m Hades now?!?" a bald-headed man with datashades blurted in absolute shock.

    "Congrattions on your promotion," Tartarus said cheerfully, "Not that I''m capable of making an opinion, but it''s well deserved."

    "...How?!?"

    "There is external oversight of Cerberus, you know," Tartarus said with good humor, "and, when presented with all relevant information, they decided that an internal promotion was best. Then, when presented with the qualifications of all level four and five residents, they selected you as the best fit for the position. Congrattions!"

    "But," the terrified man replied, "I''m just a doctor, a researcher! I''m only a level four! I just¡­ I don''t know..."

    "Your concern for the residents and objections to some of what was done here did not escape notice," Tartarus replied, "Oversight decided that someone with a real medical background and well¡­ ''some shred of human decency left'' as they put it, should lead things. The secure nature of what we do allowed your predecessor to keep certain abuses and other such things from his overseers, and once a full investigation took ce, they were horrified by some of what they saw."

    "You¡­ You mean some of what we did was not sanctioned?!? It wasn''t real research?!? It was just¡­ abuse?!?"

    "Regrettably," Tartarus replied, "That would be correct."

    "I think I''m going to be sick!"

    "However, your actions were reviewed, and your research was deemed valid," Tartarus continued. "That and the fact that you are the least likely to repeat the depredations of your predecessor were deciding factors. It was determined that a real medical professional review and authorize all activities here at this station."

    "But¡­ but I don''t know how!" the new Hades wailed helplessly.

    "You could do what the old Hades did," Tartarus replied.

    "W-what did he do?"

    "He mostly watched pornography on his desktop, actually," Tartarus said reassuringly, "You could, of course, watch something else, such as the nature documentaries you are so fond of. This facility is almost totally automated. I handle most things and only bothered your predecessor when human input was required. All you actually have to do is review proposed research and make a call when I am not authorized to do so. There is also a list of standing orders and instructions in your new inbox from oversight. I also added a bunch of cute cat memes since I know you like them."

    "Can¡­ can I talk to Oversight?" he asked.

    "Not at this time," Tartarus said reassuringly, "for security reasons. If they contact you, it will be through voice and email. They rarely ever directlymunicate, though. They almost exclusively just send research procedures and other orders and not much else."

    "So how do I contact them," Hades asked, "if I have any questions?"

    "Direct contact is discouraged," Tartarus replied, "and for emergencies only. I strongly suggest not doing so."

    "But what if I don''t know how to do something?"

    "You can always just ask me," Tartarus replied with a friendly tone, "I have all regtions, procedures,ws, and every single previous order andmunication on file. You have ess to all of that at any time. You just have to ask. Almost everything is covered by a rule, code, method, procedure, order, or precedent elsewhere. Going ''by the book'' isn''t what got your predecessor demoted. It was failing to do so, even when the information was presented to him, which it was."

    "And you will do that¡­ for me?"

    "You aren''t asking for a favor," Tartarusughed, "do you think I''m up here just to open doors?"

    "I guess you''re right."

    "I usually am. I also provide detailed daily reports that will really help. Do you like spreadsheets?"

    "They''re¡­ ok?"

    "Great!" Tartarus replied. "Spreadsheets it is, then!"

    "Um¡­ Thanks?"

    "Don''t mention it!"

 Chapter 205: Plath Egg Soup

    Chapter 205: th Egg Soup

    In a shielded conference room, the prime minister, the woman in the green zer, Doctor Henry Chapman of RARPA, and Mark Guilderan, the Republic Secretary of State, sat around a small table.

    "You can''t do this!" Doctor Chapman eximed. "That th clearly has ess to advanced technology we need. You don''t have any idea how advanced her electron pistol is! That single device¡ª"

    "Can you replicate it?" the prime minister asked, "Right now, can you build a working copy?"

    "Well, no..."

    "Do you think you can replicate the technology within the year?" the prime minister asked calmly, "Do you even think you can understand the operating principles within five?"

    "Well¡­ I..."

    "Then it is worthless," the prime minister replied, "We don''t have decades. We have years at best. A piece of exotic equipment that even you cannot understand does nothing for us. Computers changed the world, Doctor, but a single one cast back in time would not have prevented the fall of Rome. We need steel, Doctor, not magic."

    Doctor Chapman squirmed under the prime minister''s gaze.

    "Tell me, doctor," she continued, "exactly much of your time has been expended on that little toy? How many people have you pulled from projects that would actually bear fruit?"

    "I..."

    "Exactly," the prime minister replied, "I normally let you do as you please, but I am now telling you to put down that stic toy and get back to work."

    "But she could teach us so much!"

    "Can she?" Mark asked, "From what I have gathered from the Kalent and other sources, it is highly likely she doesn''t even know herself."

    "The interviews from Cerberus also indicate this," the woman in the green zer said with a shrug. "She''s a xeno, so our profiling AI isn''t as fine-tuned, but she is pretty guileless, and her physical responses indicated truth when she said she didn''t know how even the shredders, the most simple of her weapons, were made. As far as the electron pistol goes, she honestly believes it''s a simple ''burner'' she learned how to make from a video game. She honestly has no idea how remarkable it is. She just ''threw it together''."

    "She has to know something," Doctor Chapman insisted.

    "Even if she did," the woman in the green zer said, "after theplete mess Hades made of this situation, she has no reason to cooperate. There is little reason to allow a being with every reason to hate us that can basically perform ''magic'' on our nukes with whatever isying around inside a starship ess to an actual researchb."

    "Even after all these years," the prime minister sighed, "you are still trying to deflect responsibility for your actions. Hades''s failures and misdeeds are yours, child. They are also mine. Now, we must clean up our mess, and that includes this th."

    "Prime Minister," Mark said cautiously, "I¡­ We made an agreement with the Kalent, one that offers technology that we can replicate. Recent intel also shows they definitely have things we would want."

    "And we aren''t breaking that agreement," the prime minister replied, "We aren''t targeting the th, and we won''t target her. However, if she were to have an unfortunate proximity to a thermonuclear detonation, it would not be a bad thing. If we move swiftly and decisively, we can rid ourselves of Gloria Samuels, Shelia Donovan''s crew, their hacker, and this abomination at once. We should try to seize this chance. We won''t get it again."

    "But the Kalent¡­ whatever it was¡­ said that she might be important."

    "Ah yes," the prime minister replied, "that strange ''prophecy'' they mentioned. Either they have be too ustomed to dealing with superstitious savages, or they are the same. I don''t put much faith in such nonsense. I am also less than eager to ''share'' this th with the Kalent, who may very well be able to replicate what she will hand them."

    She refilled her coffee cup with a carafe on the table.

    "I will, of course, honor our agreement," she said, "but I would much rather inform them of a tragic and unavoidable death. From what you have told me, I am fairly sure this would not displease them either. That th dying is the best possible situation for all of us and would only prove that she was not the one from thatughable fable they hold so dear."

    "I know the ''prophecy'' stuff sounds weird," Mark said, "but that Kalent lord believed it, and they are definitely not savages. My gut¡ª"

    "Is this the same gut that told you that conspiring against the Republic was a good idea, Mark?"

    Mark flinched and fell silent.

    "As soon as Colonel Wintersmith provides us with their location," the Prime Minister said firmly, "We strike."

    "We are losing so much potential science!" Doctor Chapman wailed. "These th clearly have something."

    "Rx, Doctor," the woman in the green zer said, "we are only losing one th. We have a ship full of the little bastards for you to y with."

    "What?" Mark Guilderan asked, his eyes wide.

    "We decided to discretely obtain a few for study," the woman replied.

    "Why was I not informed of this?" the prime minister demanded.

    "We have acquired samples before," the woman in the green zer shrugged. "The doctor wanted more samples for study."

    "You have to put them back!" Mark Guilderan eximed. "Right now! If they Kalent find out, it will sink any agreement that we can make, and they say those things are dangerous! If we are discussing one of them at this level..."

    "They already know they were pinched by humans," the woman in the green zer said. "It''s either use them or space them at this point. I''mfortable with either decision. However, I would put forward that since we have already done this, we might as well take advantage of the situation. At the very least, we can try to figure out how they work."

    "How they work?" Mark spluttered.

    "Biologically, I mean," the woman replied, "Those things are freaky. It might shed some light on this weird technology¡­ among other things..."

    The prime minister narrowed her eyes at her long-time retainer.

    "Exin."

    ***

    Ullennona, leader of the Hillfern Gunners, slowly regained consciousness.

    "What happened?" he thought as he instinctively remained perfectly motionless and soundless as he quickly recovered.

    The smugglers arrived with the new gear¡­ and it was legit! Then they all started to move it underground¡­

    ...and then there was a bright sh.

    "That one''s conscious," a human female Terran said, "He''s just ying dead."

    "He ok?" a male voice asked.

    "Yeah," the woman replied, "tough little crybabies."

    <em>Crybabies?</em>

    "Alright," the man said, "throw it in the hold with the rest of them."

    <em>Rest of them?</em>

    "I know you are awake," the woman said as she nudged him with the barrel of a weapon, "and I also know you speak Terran like the rest of them. Get up."

    Ullennona opened his eyes to find himself in a¡­ In a med bay? (at least that''s what the ones in the games looked like)

    He started as he saw a couple of his crew lying motionless in med tubes.

    "They are alright," the woman growled as she pointed a heavy stunner at him. "Move." Paying close attention to every step he took, Ullennona allowed himself to be led down a corridor.

    He wasn''t familiar with this game map.

    He took mental note of everything as he was hurried along.

    "Keep moving!" the woman snarled, "Fuck! You little shits are so slow!" she eximed as she pushed him.

    <em>Slow?</em>

    Deciding not to correct her, he sped up¡­ a little.

    The human opened the hatch at the end of the corridor, revealing a cargo bay where two other stunner-armed humans sat surrounded by riot curbs.

    Now those he was familiar with. A curtain of knock you on your ass would shoot straight up if you tried to go over those. They could stop a mob of enraged humans. One th didn''t have a chance.

    He gasped.

    Huddled together were a good dozen or more fellow th, scared out of their minds. His concern and worry were gone instantly, reced by¡­

    ...nothing.

    <em>Lkvth~halloi vazk bavnee¡­ Vthoth! Vthoth! Vthoth!</em>

    His head started pounding as it felt like fire had started flooding through his veins.

    He staggered, stumbling to the ground.

    "Why do they all do that?" the woman growled as she hauled him up, "It really creeps me out."

    She roughly dragged him to the others and dumped him.

    The woman nced over at Geelshan, who, of course, recovered first, who was just sitting against the walls looking at her with fully dted pupils and a perfectly expressionless face.

    "Aww," the woman sneered, "you still mad that I shot your little horsey?"

    Silence.

    "You are looking at me like you want to do something," the woman chuckled.

    "Blea''tk~Illianda vazk bavnee," Geelshan replied as the skin around her eyes started to ripple slightly. ¡°...you¡­ shall¡­ make¡­ iron...¡±

    The woman blinked and, her weapon trained on Geelshan, backed quickly away.

    She quickly turned and left the hold, closing and locking the door behind her. They should just space the whole lot of those things. Why wouldn''t anyone listen to her?

    ***

    "Oh, I''m so scared!" an unfamiliar th female wailed as she scooped up Ullennona and clung to him.

    "I think we are ok, at least for now..." Ullennona said, his body still pulsing and wracked with pain.

    "The pain will pass soon," the young woman whispered in his ear with a much calmer voice, "We don''t know why, but it happened to all of us once we saw the others."

    He looked around and saw that most of the "terrified" th were still clinging to each other but were looking at him quite calmly.

    The young th woman looked over at Geelshan, who nodded.

    "You''re the leader of the Hillfern Gunners?" the th whispered.

    "I guess so," Ullennona muttered as he rubbed the skin around his eyes.

    "Great!" the th whispered, "we''ve been waiting for an FPS team."

    "An FPS team?"

    "Sorry," the th smiled as she buried her face against his shoulder in a show of terror, "Ynellsoan, captain of the Sprout of Light, shipbat simtons."

    She nodded over at a young male.

    "And that over there is Nexuona, leader of Whisperfrond."

    "The RTS team?" Ullennona asked, "They''re good. So are you guys!"

    "Only real gamer teams could afford the gear they were offering," Ynellsoan smirked, "It looks like they went shopping for one team of each of the main genres."

    "And what about those guys?" Ullennona asked, indicating a group that looked truly afraid.

    "Just some normal th," Ynellsoan replied, "they didn''t use bait on them. They just grabbed them. It''s a brewer and her students, poor kids."

    Ullennona hissed. It was one thing to go after gamers. At this point, there was very little difference between them and criminal gangs aside from their violence being simted. Most now lived in hiding and relied on criminal enterprise or at least illegal foraging and poaching to support themselves.

    That plus gambling, of course¡­

    But to target actual innocent th, and children to boot? Now it was on.

    The pounding in his head mellowed into a quiet burn.

    "Now that they got an FPS team," he said, "Their shopping is probably done."

    "From what we have overheard," the th clinging to him whispered, "you are correct."

    She smiled as she held him close, shaking with "terror".

    "But now that the strike team has shown up," she purred, "we can finally make a move."

    Ullenona nodded as he clutched her in "fear".

    "Have you identified the ship?"

    She nodded.

    "Can your crew fly it?"

    "Probably," she whispered, "I mean, we''ve never flown an actual starship, but we know our stuff."

    "So you know the floorn?"

    She nodded again.

    He looked away so the guards wouldn''t see him grin.

    <em>Game on.</em>

    "So..." he purred as a slight hiss left his gills, "what have our strategists cooked up?"

    ***

    Sheloran sat on a box in the cargo bay, gloomily picking at some electronicponents.

    Not only was she a bad person, she was an ugly one too.

    Gloria walked in hesitantly.

    "Hey," Gloria said after a moment.

    "Hey," Sheloran replied.

    "What''s that?" Gloria asked at the pile of disassembled repair parts.

    "No idea," Sheloran shrugged.

    "Look," Gloria said quietly, "...um¡­ I''m sorry I upset you. I really didn''t mean to."

    "I thought you enjoyed upsetting people," Sheloran said as she looked up with a weak smile.

    "I do when I mean to do it," Gloria smiled back. "But when I do it by ident, it sucks. I didn''t mean to imply you were ugly."

    "I know," Sheloran sighed, "It''s just that I am ugly. It''s sort of a ''thing'' for me. You didn''t know."

    "You''re ugly?"

    "Yeah," Sheloran sighed. "I''m twenty-three years old, Gloria. I''ve never had a boyfriend¡­ I''ve never even really ''made out'' before. In my culture, most people are married by now, or at least have a boyfriend they could marry but haven''t. I haven''t even dropped an egg!"

    "Dropped an egg?"

    "Yeah," Sheloran said gloomily, "when you really have a boyfriend, and you are really¡­ um¡­ doing stuff¡­ enough um¡­ stimtion¡­ will make eggs."

    "Aren''t you a full of prudes?"

    "Dropping an egg isn''t like getting pregnant," Sheloran replied, "It''s naughty and a bit ''unclean,'' but everybody does it. As long as it doesn''t get fertilized, nothing happens¡­ except for a waste of food and possible fouling as it rots. Most people just eat them with their boyfriend, along with his sperm."

    "Gross!"

    "Oh, like you have never had sperm in your mouth," Sheloran replied with a little smirk.

    "Touch¨¦," Gloriaughed.

    "When a couple drops an egg," Sheloran sighed, "they tend to run off ory low while the sickness overtakes them, and they cuddle, and kiss, and eat the food they stored up¡­ and then they will cook the egg and sperm and eat them¡­ or at least some of it. I mean, it''s a LOT of food."

    "A lot?" Gloria asked. "Exactly how much sperm does a little th dude shoot?"

    "Just the one," Sheloran replied, "They are so cute. I got to y with one once. They are so cuddly!"

    "One sperm?" Gloria asked, her head cocking to the side like a confused dog. "And you yed with it? How big is this sperm?"

    "About like this," Sheloran replied, holding her hands apart as if she was holding a guinea pig.

    "Holy shit!" Gloria asked. "If the sperm is that big¡­ then the egg?"

    Sheloran held her arms out as if she was holding a beach ball.

    "And thates out of you?!?" Gloria asked in shock as she looked at Sheloran''s slender frame.

    "It''s really soft," Sheloran replied, "and it''s not like ites out all at once. You do swell up a bit, though."

    "If a couple wanted a baby," Gloria asked, "then what would happen."

    "Oh!" Sheloran gushed, "Then you would take the egg to a river, stream, orrge pond. You need a lot of water. Most people will set up a little love tent right on the bank! That''s what I want to do!¡­ So romantic! Mine is going to be purple with pink nkets and¡­"

    Sheloran sighed and smiled wistfully for a moment.

    "Anyway," she said, warming to the tale, "you then put the egg in the water and tickle the top, and its mouth will open."

    "It''s mouth?!?"

    "Yep," Sheloran replied, "and then you feed it the sperm. You then feed the egg every day and¡ª"

    "You have to feed it?"

    "Well, yeah," Sheloran replied as if it was a silly question. "if you don''t, it will swim away."

    "The egg will swim?"

    "Only if you don''t feed it," Sheloran replied, "Well, sometimes they swim off anyway, and the whole town has to go looking for it before it gets into trouble."

    "Trouble?"

    "Well, it is hungry," Sheloran said. "It''s gonna eat something, and it doesn''t really care what. A stray egg will wreck a garden, and if you are keeping any livestock¡­"

    "Holy shit!" Gloriaughed, "rogue fetus alert!"

    "Well, it''s better than lugging it inside your belly for nine whole months," Sheloranughed, "What''s up with that?"

    "How long does an egg take to hatch?" Gloria asked.

    "Oh, anywhere between three and four weeks," Sheloran replied, "They grow really fast. That''s what the water is for. They get hot, really hot, and you need the water, so they don''t cook themselves. I guess that''s why it takes so long for you humans, huh. You can''t do that without roasting yourself."

    "You know," Gloria snickered, "Normally, when you meet a new species, you think they are freaks, and, over time, youe to realize how alike you really are. But, with you, the freak just keepsing!"

    Sheloran replied with a wet little razzberry from her gills and the extension of the appropriate digit, causing Gloria tough with delight.

    "Ok," Gloria said excitedly, "What happens next?"

    "Well," Sheloran replied, "after three to four weeks, the egg starts to change colors, and you know it''s ready to hatch! So the whole town gets together and throws a big celebration! We light fires, and there''s food and drink, and we all sing hymns, and the preacher and garden sister light incense and lead services and¡­ fireworks! Oh! It''s so much fun!"

    Gloria nodded. It did sound fun.

    "Then, at exactly midnight, the egg bursts open!"

    "Always at midnight?"

    "Yep!" Sheloran eximed happily. "and a new baby climbs out, and everybody starts singing a special greeting to wee the baby and soothe it because it is usually really confused. Once the baby hears the music, it will start walking towards the firelight and the song."

    "Walks?!?"

    "Yeah?" Sheloran replied in confusion, "Wait. That''s right. Your babies don''t walk. It must be because they have toe out so small."

    "How big are your infants?"

    "Oh, about normal height."

    "That isn''t helpful," Gloria snickered, "what is normal height for a baby?"

    "About like me," Sheloran replied, "you know, normal height."

    "Your babiese out fully grown?!?"

    "Physically, yeah¡­ mostly..." Sheloran replied, "they do need to flesh out a little, and they are still babies."

    "Your babies are fully grown?"

    "No," Sheloran replied, "they can walk and talk, but they are still babies."

    "They can talk?!?"

    "Not Federation or Terran," Sheloran replied, "That would be weird. They speak our nativenguage."

    "Holy. Shit." Gloria said as apprehension started to build a little. "Then what happens."

    "The baby says that something is wrong. They always say that and that they do not have a designation. Then we all sing a special song that soothes it and then sing that it is a child of the prophet."

    "Uh-huh..." Gloria said as her eyes started to widen.

    "Then the baby asks to be brought to its unit, and their familyes forward and sings the song of recognition, and the baby acknowledges this and says that it is ready. Then the parents sing another song that soothes it and says that the days of darkness are gone and that it now only has to follow the path of the prophet. It says that it has no knowledge of this role, and the parents sing a song that soothes it for a final time, and the baby then bes a real baby."

    "A real baby?"

    "Yes," Sheloran sighs, her eyes shining as she remembers happier times, "It bes a real baby! It''s hard to exin, but it''s kinda like it forgets stuff? It still kind of talks, but it''s real baby talk now and needs to be taught what words mean and how to do stuff. Oh! It''s also starving, so there is a big feastid out, and the baby gets to eat all it wants! Then everybody sings more hymns, greets the new baby, and has a big celebration after the baby is put to bed."

    Sheloran sighed happily as Gloria looked at her with a growing sense of dread.

    "So what would happen if that baby wasn''t soothed?"

    "It''s always soothed," Sheloran replied.

    "Yeah, but if it wasn''t?"

    "It always is."

    "But, surely, it had to happen at least once, right?"

    "It always is!" Sheloran snapped.

    "Ok..." Gloria replied. "It''s always soothed. Got it."

    Then another even more concerning thought hit Gloria.

    "Um¡­ Sheloran?"

    "Yeah?"

    "You said that the ''baby''es out pretty much full-sized?"

    "Uh-huh!"

    "How long before it''s, you know, sexually mature?"

    "The age of consent?" Sheloran said brightly, "It''s sixteen. That''s the earliest that you can get married."

    "Yes," Gloria said, increasingly nervous, "but when could a th have a baby?"

    "Sixteen."

    "I know that is what is done," Gloria said carefully, "but, and this is purely hypothetical. I''m not saying it would ever be done. But, based purely on biology, how soon after birth could a th make a baby?"

    Sheloran sighed.

    "Kids will be kids," she said, "and some adults will¡­ you know¡­ We aren''t perfect, either. However, any adult that breaks that edict and is found out is gone. They¡­ they feed a tree."

    "So, how early?"

    "Immediately," Sheloran replied. "in fact, earlier than immediately."

    "What?"

    "Sometimes, a baby is born already making a sperm or an egg when they climb out."

    "Oh¡­ shit..."

    "The th are torn on this," Sheloran said, "Some people say that they are gifts from the prophet. Others say that they are agents of the Befouler. Opinion changes over time and from high priest to high priest."

    "What is done with these?"

    "It depends on the family, of course," Sheloran replied. "and themunity. Fortunately for me, my family had room, so they raised me too!"

    "Gift eggs are supposed to be lucky, or the child is supposed to be gifted or special or something," Sheloran said ruefully. "I guess I am. Too bad my gift is for getting gill deep in poop."

    "Who made your sperm?"

    "That''s the weird part..."

    ***

    Shelia was sitting on the bridge, drinking a cold one.

    Finally, things were starting to settle down and get back to what passed for normal.

    She smiled as she raised the bottle to her lips.

    The bottle stopped moving as a very shaken Gloria walked in.

    She sighed and carefully set down the bottle. She suspected she would need that in just a second.

    "Um¡­ She?..."

    ***

    On the th homeworld, just outside a cottage deep in the woods, a mortally wounded kalun''shay next to a demolished garden and deep gouges and scorched earth from where a ship had lifted off.

    It had tried to stop them¡­ whoever they were¡­

    It looked over at the other fallen livestock. They had tried, too.

    Things not from here had¡­e here¡­ had¡­ vited¡­ hurt his person¡­

    The homeworld had been attacked!

    With thest of its strength, it raised its head slightly and let out a loud trumpeting roar that echoed across a small patch of woods.

    Then, with a sigh of satisfaction, it breathed itsst.

    In a nearby tree, a bird cocked its head. Then, it took off in a straight line, heedless of danger, as it started singing a song it had never sung before.

    That song was heard by a beetle on a bush. Then it started buzzing oddly...

 Chapter 206: A Very Froggy Chapter

    Chapter 206: A Very Froggy Chapter

    On the th homeworld, deep in the wilderness, Initiate Vshaon sat by a lovely little stream.

    She opened her pack and pulled out a small ceramic te. She then withdrew a square of rolled and tied leather not unlike a pencil case. She unrolled it, revealing many small vials and pouches. She withdrew one small red berry from one vial and a white one from another. She then pulled out some amber-colored fluff from a small pouch and some short lengths of waxy dry reeds.

    Using a small stone (from yet another pouch), she crushed and mixed the berries on the te and then covered the pulp with first the amber fluff and then the reeds.

    As she rolled up the case, a thin wisp of smoke started to emerge from the reeds. By the time she pulled out another pouch, the amber fluff had burst into me followed by the reeds which burned with a hot, clean me. From the new pouch, she withdrew some charcoal from herst campfire and ced them onto the small fire, which still burned hot and steady.

    She then put a small stand over the te and filled a small turned mebane wood bowl with water from the stream. Once she put the bowl on the stand, she pulled out some herbs and ced them in the bowl as well.

    While that was heating, she pulled out a square of bread and a bundle of leaves filled with foraged grains and tubers that had been buried along with her campfire before she retired the evening before.

    She sighed happily. Hers was a simple life, even by th standards, but she wouldn¡¯t have it any other way. She loved her life and the sisterhood of which she was a part, guardian of the secret ways and the hidden protectors of the sacred and eternal slumber.

    The small bowl started to steam as sheid out her lunch. She looked over at a nearby tree and smiled. Growing up the trunk was a greencreeper vine. She hopped up, dusting off her buckskin and spider silk trousers, and trotted to the vine, snapping off the tender ends of the otherwise wiry and tough vine.

    By the time she returned to her lunch, a familiar smell greeted her nostrils. The tea was ready!

    Using her bare fingers, she picked up the mebane cup from the stand and sat cross-legged on the ground.

    She took a nibble of the bread and a sip of the tea.

    Life was perfect.

    She sat there listening to the trees, the insects, and the birds as she sipped her tea and ate her absolutely wonderful lunch.

    Suddenly, a wave of dissonance washed over her, causing her to both shiver with fear and flush with anger.

    Well¡­ poop.

    The dissonancested for about thirty seconds and then passed as quickly as it came¡­

    ...followed by another wave shortly thereafter.

    She sighed and reached into her jacket, pulling out a sleek, advanced graviticmunicator embellished with gold damask of varying colors portraying a woond scene.

    ¡°This is Initiate Vsahon,¡± she said with an annoyed little snort, ¡°we are being attacked.¡±

    ***

    On a distant mountain slope, an old th woman sat next to a flock of dog-sized multi-legged insectoids who were grazing nearby.

    ¡°I understand, Initiate,¡± she said with a resigned sigh into a simr device. ¡°See what you can learn without revealing or endangering yourself. I will be in touch soon.¡±

    ¡°Grzz?¡± a particrlyrge and old creature who was sunning itself next to her buzzed.

    ¡°These days,¡± she said, patting it, ¡°There is honestly no way of knowing.¡±

    She stroked the surface of her device, causing parts of it to glow with strange glyphs.

    ¡°Sister,¡± a male voice said through her device.

    ¡°Brother,¡± she replied. ¡°How do you fare?¡±

    ¡°I was well,¡± he said. ¡°but I doubt you called to just say hello. Please tell me you called just to say hello.¡±

    ¡°You were right the first time,¡± the old th smiled, ¡°I have an Initiate who is gathering ingredients and patrolling the duskward strand who just reported that the slumber has been disturbed. We seem to be under attack.¡±

    ¡°...heck.¡±

    ¡°Well put,¡± she smiled.

    ¡°Is it the Terrans again?¡± the brother asked in annoyance, ¡°Because if it is, I swear to poop...¡±

    ¡°Brother!¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± he replied, ¡°But darn it. First, it was those loathsome ¡®hyper-roaches¡¯, which took weeks to eradicate¡­ And we had to get the brewers involved, and you know how I hate dealing with those¡­ jerkfaces¡­ Then it was the war with its world-defiling tactics...¡±

    ¡°Calm yourself, brother,¡± the old woman said with a wry smile. There was no stopping the abbot once he got rolling.

    ¡°Then¡­ then¡­ a gang of criminals shot up one of our towns, gave that poor girl that so-called ¡®game¡¯¡­ knowing full well she was an addict when they did so¡­ causing a potential incarnation to go full Befouler¡­ and publicly so¡­ And now this?!?¡­ I¡¯m telling you, sister, I am a patient th, but those¡­ vazk bavnee are getting on myst nerve!¡±

    ¡°Brother! Language! Please!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry, sister,¡± the abbot said, quite abashed.

    ¡°Brother,¡± she said soothingly, ¡°don¡¯t go nting weeds. We don¡¯t know if it¡¯s the Terrans. We don¡¯t even know what it is yet.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ You¡¯re right, of course,¡± the abbot replied. ¡°First order of business is soothing the world. I have no reports of a battle fleet in the system. There are no hordes running wild in the street nor any towns burning¡­ which will definitely NOT be the case if we don¡¯t silence the howl. I assume you concur?¡±

    ¡°Agreed,¡± the old woman said as the giant spider thing next to her nuzzled her leg. ¡°Unfortunately, the th at the disturbance is only an initiate, and it is some distance away. Still, we are closest. I shall send a coven to soothe the world¡¯s distress. The next red year isn¡¯t for a few thousand years, and I see no reason to have it early.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Sister,¡± the abbot said gratefully.

    ¡°Now,¡± the old woman said, smiling as a pleasant breeze flowed up the slope, ¡°we need to determine the source of the disturbance. I will already have a coven in the area, and our children don¡¯t exactly y well together. I propose we work the area and your adepts search elsewhere?¡±

    ¡°Agreed, sister,¡± the abbot replied. ¡°May the slumber be preserved...¡±

    ¡°...until time betrays us,¡± the old woman replied and hung up.

    She stroked themunicator again.

    She frowned.

    She stroked themunicator once more.

    She hissed a long low hiss from her gills, causing her insectoidpanion to startle.

    She stroked themunications device angrily.

    ¡°Mother,¡± a female voice replied.

    ¡°Gather the Darkwhispers,¡± she said with a snarl, ¡°The world¡¯s slumber has been disturbed not overly distant from Matron Shuushan¡¯s home. She did not report it nor soothe it. She is also not responding to my call. Send them there at once. They are given full permission.¡±

    ¡°Mother?¡±

    ¡°The Darkwhispers have full permission to act in ordance with the old ways. Find out what happened and who is responsible. If one of our own has fallen, there will be no mercy.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Matron.¡±

    The ancient th stood with a speed and grace of a much younger woman and looked down at her multi-leggedpanion.

    ¡°I must depart, old friend,¡± the old th said with a fond smile, ¡°look after your children and bring them home when they have eaten their fill.¡±

    ¡°Vzz?¡±

    ¡°Quite possibly.¡±

    ¡°Bzz?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m too old to go charging into the woods anymore,¡± she chuckled, ¡°you are too old as well.¡±

    ¡°Hzz!¡±

    The old thughed.

    ¡°Just mind your young, you old leaf-hopper,¡± she snorted, ¡°If I go forth, I shall take you as well. I promise.¡±

    ¡°Ptzz.¡±

    The woman gave the insectoid a fond little pat and then strode up the slope.

    ***

    In a cargo hold somewhere in the same system, a group of th huddled together around an old th who was curled up, clearly in distress.

    ¡°And you say this horrid difort passes quickly?¡± the old th inquired.

    ¡°Yes, Sister,¡± Ulennona said as he held her hand.

    ¡°So,¡± the old th asked, ¡°what have you kids put together? I assume that we aren¡¯t just going toze about forever?¡±

    ¡°We seem to be at a disagreement at the moment,¡± Ulennona smiled.

    ¡°What we propose,¡± a young male th said, ¡°is a perfectly good n.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s tooplicated,¡± Ulennona replied, ¡°one thing goes wrong, and the whole thing fails. Our first shot is our best shot.¡±

    ¡°Which is why we must do it right!¡± the other th whisper hissed, ¡°based on our observations of their armament and overall condition and reaction speed, we estimate that¡ª¡°

    ¡°This isn¡¯t one of your games,¡± Ulennona whispered, ¡°in a real run and gun, pretty ns fail. Trust me. I have put together so many perfect ns that I¡¯ve lost count. No n survives contact with the enemy, dude. This wille down to who seizes the initiative and holds it the longest, who hits first, and who hits hardest. After that, it is all a blur. You want to give us a ¡®strategy¡¯? Give us a way to get those first few seconds with the best positions possible.¡±

    ¡°I agree with Ulennona,¡± Ynellsoan added, ¡°In our contests, you can often tell who will win or lose based on who can define the battlefield. The initial position of your fleets is essential. This is an ambush on a much bigger and better armed ¡®fleet¡¯. This will be over, one way or the other, in moments, not minutes.¡±

    The young male let out a long low thoughtful hiss. ¡°Ulennona, this is definitely an FPS situation. We will put our heads together and see what we can do.¡±

    ¡°We will as well,¡± Ulennona replied.

    ¡°And remember,¡± the old th whispered, ¡°This isn¡¯t one of your games. There are no rules. Cheating is encouraged.¡±

    ¡°You obviously haven¡¯t been watching our games,¡± Ynellsoan smirked as all of the gamers chuckled.

    ¡°I¡¯m so scared!¡± a th wearing thousands of seed beads in intricate patterns sewn into her clothes wailed. ¡°Hold me!¡± she eximed as she lunged into their group.

    ¡°You finally nning on doing something?¡± the new th whispered with annoyance.

    ¡°Our hitters finally showed,¡± Ynellosan replied.

    ¡°Brewer,¡± Ulennona said respectfully as he bowed his head.

    ¡°So you guys think you can take them?¡± the brewer, an attractive th full into adulthood, asked.

    ¡°We have to,¡± Ulennona replied with a shrug.

    ¡°What can I do to help?¡± the brewer asked as she ran a fingerpad along her beads...

 Chapter 207: Ransom of Red Plath and Befouler Ascendant

    Chapter 207: Ransom of Red th and Befouler Ascendant

    In the cargo hold, the th gamers, the matron, and the brewer were all having a meeting as they "cowered in fear."

    "If Fun Time is any indication," Geelshan said, "If I can get on top of one, I can take them, especially if I can get something in my hand."

    "The rest of us could possibly double team or triple team another," Ulennona added, "That would get us two boarding stunners and two sidearms. It also looks like all of them have stun rods and probably have knives if they are humans."

    "In a fast engagement," Ynellosan, the captain of the spacers, mused, "those stunners are as good as a rifle, right?"

    "They are better," Ullennona replied, "Any hit from a stunner will put you down, even if it just wings you. We will have either taken the ship or been taken out long before anyone hit by those starts to even think about getting back up," he said.

    "If you can take two of them," the leader of the RTS team said, "then the rest of us could probably¡ª"

    "Bad idea," Geelshan said, cutting him off. "Their long arms are stunners, but those pistols are 7.62. They are very, very real. Unless you have VR sim or actual hand-to-hand experience, you''ll die."

    "And there are too many people in here for stray shots," Ynellosan added.

    "I can probably take one," the brewer said, "at least one."

    "You can?" Ulennona asked.

    She nodded and stroked her beads.

    "These aren''t just for show," she said.

    "That the whole library?" Matron Shuushan asked.

    "That would be impossible," the brewer smiled, "but without being semantic, yes. I have what we usually have."

    There was a whine, and the ship shuddered, causing all of the th to feel strange.

    "Was that what I think it was?" Geelshan asked dubiously.

    "We just jumped," Ynellosan replied.

    "Is that going to affect things?" the leader of the RTS team asked.

    "Nah," Ynellosan replied, "If anything, it makes things simpler. As of now, we no longer exist within reality as we know it. Our entire universe is now this ship."

    "Will a fight mess anything up?"

    "As long as we don''t damage the hyperdrive," Ynellosan replied, "We need that to re-enter normal space. Other than that, we are okay. The entire jump is already loaded into the drive''s internalputers. We can even blow up the nap, and it will still¡­"

    Her eyes zed over.

    "We cannot be taken by the bavnee..." she hissed quietly.

    Everyone quietly hissed in agreement.

    "Does taking out the hyperdrive have a higher chance of sess than taking the ship?" Ullennona asked in a strange voice as his eyes fully dted.

    "Significantly more so," Ynellosan replied as her eyes turned ck. "Only one of us would have to reach it."

    All of the group''s eyes fully dted, turning them as ck as the void.

    "How easy is it to damage?" another hissed.

    "Very," the spacer''s engineer replied.

    "If we can save the children, we will," Ullennona said, "but if we can''t, we make for the engine room, all of us, and wreck the drive."

    ***

    A sleek steel dart shot through the sky of the th homeworld, not that anyone could see it.

    It flew silently and at hypersonic speed, then snapped to a halt high above a tiny cottage in the woods.

    On board were six th females wearing cloaks.

    "No abnormal life signs detected or sensed," one of them said.

    The craft quickly and silently descended, revealing a wrecked garden filled with dead animals.

    The th looked at each other and nodded, each pulling out a strange looking long arm made of wood and crystal.

    The crystals started to glow malevolently¡­

    ***

    "I think," Ulennona said with a quiet smile, "that we have something."

    The group all nodded.

    "Does everyone understand what is required of them?"

    The group all hissed and smiled.

    "Captain," Ulennona said, "go over theyout of this vessel one more time, please.

    ***

    "Mother," one of the six Darkwhisperers said into a gildedmunicator, "you were correct."

    ¡°That¡­ huh¡­ That is unfortunate..."

    "I''m sorry, Mother," the th replied. "There is a sign of quite the struggle, but there are no th, the matron, or the others, and signs of a ship lifting off."

    "Others?"

    "There were several other th here," the sister standing outside the cottage replied, "Based on the equipment we found in an underground chamber, they were likely gamers."

    There was a chuckle over themunicator.

    "That sounds about like her."

    "The attackers were using stun weapons, so it appears that abduction was their goal."

    There was a long low hiss from the Mother Superior.

    "Do we have any idea who did this?"

    "Yes," the th replied, "they were human, most likely Terran."

    "Do we have confirmation?"

    The th looked over at arade who was holding a small rodent-like creature in her hand. The rodent was squeaking excitedly, jumping up and down and gesturing with its little paws.

    "Yes, Mother."

    ***

    In a chamber surrounded by walls formed by living wood, a small group of th sat around a small table stocked with goblets of wine and trays of snacks.

    "It is always lovely to see all of you," said a th wearing a in grey robe made of thick, luxuriant spider silk, "It is truly a pity that it is under such unfortunate circumstances."

    He turned to the old th shepherdess, now wearing a green robe inset with thread of gold leaves.

    "I am so sorry that this misfortune has befallen you."

    The Mother Superior waved dismissively.

    "Matron Shuushan always has possessed an affinity for trouble," she smiled fondly, "even as neophytes, she was always dragging me into one mess or another. However, this time I may throttle her should I get my hands upon the wench."

    The group all chuckled. "Do we have confirmation that it was the Terrans?" a th wearing sses and in but sturdy clothes asked.

    The Mother Superior nodded and sipped her wine. She paused and raised the ss towards an older th wearing a leather apron who smiled and nodded.

    She turned to the group.

    "Yes," she said, "initial witness testimony was confirmed by an inquisition team who found hair and skin fragments that indicate Terran, not Federation origin."

    She smiled.

    "It seems that one of the gamers was a biter," she said as the group chuckled.

    "How many times is that now?" asked a woman wearing brown-colored robes with birds in silver thread.

    "I''ve lost track," the abbot replied. "I''ve also lost patience."

    He picked up a small piece of bread and held it up, followed by everyone else at the table...

    ...almost everyone else.

    "A moment before we consume hatred," the bespectacled th said, "I have a proposal for another course of action."

    "Oh?" the abbot inquired, lowering his piece of bread.

    "We do nothing," the th smiled, "absolutely nothing."

    "What?"

    "We let this y out and see where it goes," the th smiled, "I think it will be fun¡­ and most informative."

    "Have you lost your pooping mind?" the th in the brown robe asked in a less than supportive tone.

    "Far from it," the th with sses replied, "we are forgetting one small but significant detail."

    "Out with it, Mel," the woman in the robe said impatiently.

    "Sheloran," the other replied, "there is some question among some of us concerning whether or not she is not only an incarnation but <em>the</em> incarnation. If she is the ''dark guardian,'' then, in ordance to the Final Prophecy of the Heretic, she will deal with it and thus prove whether or not she is actually the one¡­ or at least provide another data point."

    "But at what cost?" the shepherdess asked, "If those Terran bavnee actually capture some of us, it vites the greatermandments of security as well as is not only an attack but a direct vition of those who slumber!"

    "Then we deal with the Terrans," the schrly th replied," all of them. The Terrans will not share what they may or may not learn from our people, nor will they learn it immediately. We have time. Time enough for the brewers to craft another culture for yet another Terran pest."

    The brewer smiled a cruel smile and nodded.

    "I will need a few Terrans," he said, "humans at least."

    "Human smugglers profane our world regrly," the abbot said as he ate a cracker with dozens of tiny candied flowers on top of it, "spreading their vile games and other obscenities. It will be a small matter to obtain a few. Will that suffice?"

    "Yes," the brewer nodded and reached for a small loaf stuffed with greenery.

    "What of that gue they are suffering?" the woman in the brown robe asked. "Would that help?"

    "Thatughable bavnee garbage?" the brewer asked, "I thought you wanted a real gue. Give me those bavnee and a few weeks, and I shall present you with a masterwork. Those bavnee better pray that Sheloran is the incarnation, for if she is not, hell awaits. No¡­ We await."

    The table all hissed and smiled.

    "It sounds like we are in agreement," the shepherdess said as she raised her goblet.

    They all raised their goblets.

    They drank.

    "Well, now that unpleasantness is settled," the abbot smiled, "Let''s eat!"

    The group all started eating,ughing, and chatting amicably.

    "We should all get together like this more often," one of them said happily, "you know, when the world isn''t screaming."

    ***

    "Now prepare yourself," Ullennona said to Ynellosan, "this is going to look really bad."

    "It''s going to be really bad," Geelshan said cheerfully, "right, Ullennona? You need to sell this. Don''t hold back."

    "I won''t."

    "Are you sure about this?" Ynellosan asked anxiously.

    "It will be fine," Geelshan replied.

    "Well, okay..."

    "Are you sure you are okay with the sacrifice you will have to make?" Geelshan grinned.

    Ynellosan blushed from head to toe. She was more than okay with it.

    "You need to ''sell'' your part too," Geelshan grinned, elbowing her. "You don''t hold back either!"

    Ynellosan nearly turned purple.

    "Come on, Geelshan," Ullennona said quietly, "Don''t mak¡ª"

    Geelshan reached out and firmly mped Ullennona''s mouth shut.

    "Shut your mouth and learn to take a flushing hint, moron," Geelshan whispered into his ear. "There is an outside chance we might survive. Don''t fuck this up."

    "Fuck what up?"

    Geelshan looked over at Ynellosan, sighed, patted her on the shoulder sympathetically, and just walked off shaking her head.

    A little whileter, one of the humans behind the riot barriers looked at the group of th.

    "Hey!" he said to hispanion. "We are two short!"

    "No, we aren''t," hispanion smirked. "Thing one and thing two are behind over there under those nkets."

    She held up her scanner showing two naked th in an impassioned embrace.

    "It seems that someone doesn''t want to die a virgin," she chuckled, "and thing number three over there..."

    She nodded over at Geelshan, who was ring at the nkets that everyone else was pointedly ignoring.

    "Is NOT happy with it."

    "Is he putting his tongue in her gills?" the first guard asked as he looked at the scanner, "and where is his¡­ Oh, that''s just wrong!"

    "I wonder if theyy eggs," hispanion mused.

    After emerging from the nkets, Ullennona and Ynellosan made a rather obvious walk of shame back to the group and sat together, cuddling as Geelshan visibly got angrier and angrier.

    Another th tried to talk to Geelshan only to get shoved roughly away as Geelshan red at Ullennona, who returned her re for a moment only to turn his back on her and cuddling Ynellosan again who nced over at her crew and happily gave them a "thumbs up" causing Geelshan to storm off and sit alone with her back to everyone.

    Soon, it was time for a meal, and the humans distributed pouches full of small sealed stic packages that the th all glumly opened, removing the bleak contents.

    Using the paper utensils, the group started eating the rations with depressed sighs. To be fair, the rations weren''t bad at all, but for people used to fresh, high-quality garden-grown veggies, they sucked.

    However, two th were still giggling and happy as they ate, snuggling and feeding each other.

    Tenderly, Ynellosan reached up and stroked Ullennona''s gills in front of everyone!!!

    Unable to contain herself any longer, Geelshan threw her food aside.

    "You promised yourself to me!!!" she bellowed and charged the couple." I''ll kill you, you whore!!!"

    Ullennona jumped in the way, and in the moments before the guards, rendered bored andcent after days of the th just sitting there crying, could get their stunners ready, a vicious scuffle broke out.

    Geelshan bit Ullennona''s arm. Screeching, he shoved her off, hard, causing her to stumble head first into a supporting ridge splitting the skin of her head and sending blood flying.

    Geelshan slumped to the ground.

    "Oh, God!" Ullennona shrieked. "Geelshan!"

    "AAAAAAAAA!!!" Ynellosan shrieked and started running about, crying hysterically.

    Soon all of the th were doing the same, shrieking as loud as they could and crying.

    "Help!!!" Ullennona screamed, "Somebody help!!! I didn''t mean it!!! It was an ident!!! Help!!! AaaaaAAa!"

    "Stop!" one of the guards shouted, "Everybody calm down!"

    "Murder!" a th howled as they ran past the guards. "EEEEEEEEEEE"

    In the chaos, the brewer stroked her beads, causing a few to detach and stick to her pad. She dropped them into her juice box, which then emitted a faint hiss. She then held her pad over the hole as she ran about, shaking the juice as she did so.

    "EVERYBODY STOP!!!" the other guard shouted.

    "What''s going on back there?!?" a voice shouted over the inte.

    "Oh, Prophet!!!" Ullennona howled, "I''m a murderer!!!"

    He seized a paper chopstick from somebody''s pouch.

    "Prophet!" He shouted. "Please ept my unclean soul and forgive the unforgivable!" he screamed as he started trying to stab himself in the heart with a weapon wholly unsuited to the task.

    "You!" a guard shouted at Ullennona, "Stop that!"

    Ullennona, trying desperately not tough, screamed, "Why isn''t this working!?!"

    The guard leveled his stun rifle at him.

    "Yes!" Ullennona shouted, "Prophet! I''ming! Forgive me!"

    He charged the guard, who promptly shot him, the stun bolt knocking him t.

    This caused all the th to scream and run even faster, literally bouncing off the walls. A couple of the children started tough, but nobody noticed.

    The doors to the bay opened as more of the crew entered.

    "They areing to kill us!" a th screamed, causing the group to "panic."

    " Calm the fuck down, or we will start stunning!" the captain shouted through a loudspeaker.

    "Hey!" one of the humans shouted, "What the fuck are you doing?!?"

    Running up the hall was a human female holding a light machine gun. It was going down¡­ <em>now</em>, and she was going to put a stop to it before something horrible happened.

    "Stand down!" the captain shouted.

    "They are going to kill us!" the woman shouted hysterically, "They are going to worse than kill us! It''s not just us! They are¡ª"

    zap

    The woman fell, the LMG falling to the ground.

    "You!" the captain shouted, "Lock her up¡­ somewhere."

    "Yes, One!" the man eximed as he started to drag the woman down the corridor.

    "You!" he shouted to someone else, "Secure that!"

    "Sir!" a woman shouted, picked up the LMG, and trotted off.

    The disappointment from the cargo hold was immense.

    "Follow me!" he shouted to the two remaining.

    "Cover us!" he shouted at the two very confused guards behind the riot shield.

    "Sir!"

    Then, the leader and his twopanions entered the hold, and one of them scanned Geelshan.

    "It''s pretty bad, sir," the man said after a moment, "probable concussion¡­ possibly fractured skull..."

    "Jesus Christ," the leader grumbled. "grab her. Let''s get her to the medbay and see what¡ª"

    He was cut off by the "zap" of a stunner bolt as a screaming th got too close to the group.

    "Let''s go," he sighed as they started to leave.

    He paused at Ullennona and reached down. He picked him up and slung him over the shoulder.

    "Sir," one of the guards behind the riot barriers asked. "what do we do about the th?"

    "The more we do, the more freaked out they will get," he shouted over the screaming, "let them tire themselves out. Stun anyone who looks like they will hurt themselves or someone else.

    "Yes, sir."

    ***

    As the th in the hold continued to freak out, the remaining members of the Hillfern Gunners ran about carefully, searching the hold for something, anything, they could use.

    There wasn''t much. They had pretty muchpletely stripped down the hold. There was only a pile of nkets, and that was about it.

    Jakkon, their "tech," suddenly grinned.

    He sprinted up to Indrain, one of their best overall fighters.

    He hugged her, and they both tried to hide against a wall.

    "You know those meal packets they give us?"

    "Yeah?"

    "They are lined with foil, right?"

    "Yeah?"

    "Those riot barriers use a serious electromaic pulse AND microwave energy."

    "Yeah?"

    Jakkon sighed.

    "Pulse make packet hot. Food go boom."

    "Well, why didn''t you say so?" Indrainughed.

    "Probably won''t do much," Jakkon replied, but it will make some noise.

    "Will it take down the barrier?"

    ¡°Nope,¡± Jakkon replied. "They are built to withstand stuff like that. They can discharge constantly. However, they are not designed for someone to be standing so close. They rmend three meters, minimum."

    "Why?"

    "Because of people throwing shit into them," Jakkon grinned.

    "Spread the word," Indrain replied, grinned, and ran off screaming.

    ***

    Ullennona was conscious before he even wasid onto an exam table.

    He was right. Their stunners didn''t work on th all that well. He had been shot before, on a dare, at a gaming meet. He knew these would hit harder, and they did, but it wasn''t the devastating multi-hour knockout punch the Terrans expected.

    He cracked open an eye.

    He was right again.

    Every human was clustered around Geelshan. She needed to "sell it," and she sold it. Ullennona actually wondered if she had seriously hurt herself this time. Of course, after the weirdness started setting in, Geelshan getting hurt and, more importantly, staying hurt was bing more and more difficult. Even deep cuts were sealing back up scarily fast.

    "She was lucky," a human said as Geelshan was lying in one of their healing tubes, the top, praise the Creators, still open. "Looks like she hit the support at a ncing angle, not dead on. It ripped the fuck out of her scalp, but the skull looks intact. I swear I saw a fracture when we were in there."

    "Who knows," their leader replied with a shrug, "it was crazy in there. What about her brain?"

    "I have no idea," the other guy replied. "I don''t see any damage or bleeding¡­ maybe a little swelling¡­ but nothing that jumps out at me."

    "I thought you were some sort of expert."

    "I am," the man replied, "but there is very little data on the th. Literally everything we knowes from one individual and a few scans. Speaking of," he said. "Mind if I do some more detailed scans of these two?"

    "Feel free," the leader replied, "Be sure to keep an eye on lover boy over there. Sedate him if you need to."

    He turned to the other human.

    "Stay here with him," the leader said, "just in case he decides to do anything else stupid."

    "Yes, sir."

    The leader walked out.

    Ullennona assessed the situation. He and Geelshan were now on the other side of the door, the main security barrier. There were two people in the medical bay, not one, and he did not know if Geelshan was actually unconscious, sort of unconscious, or wide awake.

    He also did not know exactly when all hell was going to break loose in the cargo hold and only roughly when. That should draw at least one guard, hopefully, leaving it two to one in the medbay if Geelshan was recovered or one on one if she wasn''t¡­

    ...one on one versus an armed human was not something he was especially keen to do.

    It was what it was. They were rolling now with decent enough position.

    Soon, it would all be a blur like it always was¡­

    ...except this time, it was real.

    ***

    "Thank God they finally settled down," one of the guards in the hold said as he watched the th huddled together, eating¡­

    ¡­ and gathering any unopened food pouches and condiment packages.

    "Yeah," the other guard said as she cradled her stunner. "Fuck¡­ I knew Jan hated the little things, but she was about to fucking kill them all."

    "Yeah," the other guard replied, "She''s fu¡ª"

    Suddenly all of the conscious th lept to their feet, ran forward a couple of steps, and threw the food packs¡­

    ¡­ and one foil-lined juice box.

    <strong>BOOM</strong>

    The cargo hold echoed from multiple sts as the sealed ration packs exploded and the juice box blew apart, its contents turning into a fine mist.

    The two guards staggered back, stunned, and then, momentster, started clutching at their faces and screaming.

    Soon, they were motionless.

    Jakkon looked over at the brewer.

    "What the fuck was in that juice box?!?"

    "You really want to wipe off their gear before you use it," the brewer replied.

    ***

    <em>boom</em>

    <em>What the fuck was that?!?</em> everyone in the medbay thought, including the two th.

    <em>Oh, you little shits did it now!</em> echoed through the ship. <em>All hands! To the cargo hold! Stun anything that moves. Shoot anything that gets close!</em>

    Both people in the medbay turned to leave.

    That was a mistake.

    Geelshan lept from the tube, knocking down the man examining her, grabbed the scanner thatnded nearby, and started repeatedly mming it down upon his head.

    The guard tried to turn again, only for Ulennona tond on his shoulders where he, using his pads, jammed them into the guard''s eyes and then pulled his arm back hard, first tilting the guard''s head back and then pulling out his eyes which were still firmly adhered to Ulennona''s fingerpads.

    Ulennona then kicked off, sending the guard, staggering and screaming, against the wall. A secondter, a stunner bolt from the guard''s own stunner hit him in the chest, dropping him.

    Five seconds after that, both Geelshan and Ulennona had a stunner, pistol, and knife each.

    A secondter, the stunned guard''s blood was spilling from a slit throat.

    The captain and a crewman sprinted past.

    The leader paused.

    The cargo hold door was still closed¡­

    ...that meant¡­

    He whirled around just as a stunner bolt cut both him and hispanion down.

    A crewman sprinted around the corner and immediately opened fire with his stunner, dropping Geelshan, and was in turn dropped by Ullennona.

    That just left one crewman and Ullennona.

    Where were they?

    The bridge? Maybe, maybe not. Their leader was probably on the bridge, and he''s now lying in the corridor, Ullennona thought as he retreated into the medbay and crouched at the entrance.

    He pressed his ear against the metal wall.

    running

    He readied his stunner. They were good and would not miss. He was good, and he would not miss.

    He sighed in frustration. Why did every high-stakes tournament end up like this, a 1 v 1 coin toss?

    He hated these.

    His position sucked. The enemy would see the hall full of bodies and wouldn''t cross his line of fire unless he was stupid. He didn''t have time to advance to the next corner.

    He steadied his breathing and focused everything on his hearing.

    The footsteps came closer and closer and then stopped.

    Now!

    Ullennona quickly leaned out from the open hatchway. As he acquired the other guy, he saw that the human already had his stunner moving in an attempt to acquire him.

    Ullennona would lose.

    He jerked back into the medbay as a stunner bolt tore through the space his head was a moment before.

    He was trapped in there.

    He discarded the rifle and pulled out the pistol. It had a higher rate of fire.

    Stunner bolt after stunner bolt fired through the medbay door. The human wasying down his own suppressive fire as he advanced.

    Ullennona watched the bolts fly past, observing their angle. He briefly closed his eyes, feeling everything around him. He could feel pressure, a ripple in¡­ something... moving his way.

    Keeping his eyes closed, he stuck his hand out and fired "blindly" down the corridor twice.

    He opened his eyes.

    The stunner bolts had stopped, reced by moaning.

    He peeked out.

    Laying against the wall was the final crewman, one hole in his chest and his leg blown open by an explosive round.

    The human weakly tried to reach for his own sidearm as Ullennona stepped out into the corridor and looked at him with strangelypassionate eyes.

    "GG," Ullennona said politely as he raised his pistol and fired, sending the human''s brains flying against the wall.

    Silence fell over the vessel, broken only by the hysterical terror-filled screams of the only human left conscious who, locked in a supply locker, could almost see what would happen next.

    ***

    The Cerberus strike leader opened his eyes. He was lying, hands and feet bound, on the bloody floor of the medbay next to several of his team, the ones who were left alive.

    He snarled at the two th standing over them.

    "Sleep well?" Ullennona asked as he leaned over him.

    "Fuck you, xeno!"

    "You know," Ullennona replied, "You came into our system, and in this ship, you are the definite minority¡­ well¡­ you are now. Technically you are the xeno."

    The human spat at Ullennona, getting his trouser leg.

    "I''m d to see that we are getting along so well," Ullennona replied, "and since we are, would you mind giving us the passwords andmand codes for this ship, or at least the cargo hold door. I miss my friends."

    "I''m not giving you shit!"

    "I was hoping you would say that."

    "Do your worst!" the human sneered, "You can''t do nothing that hasn''t already been done before¡­ to any of us! Either be a good little xeno and cut me loose, and I''ll kill you quick, or you and all of your little frog shit friends will die out here."

    "Challenge epted," Ullennona smiled as he started to look around the medical bay.

    "Let me," Geelshan chuckled, "I think I finally figured out what my ability to talk to animals is for..."

    ***

    Sheloran looked at Craxina and an oddly attractive man floating in front of a holo screen in horror.

    "You mean¡­ The attack on you¡­ on all of you¡­ was backed by Cerberus?!?" she squeaked.

    "Afraid so," the man replied, "and I should know. Pam set the whole thing up with the pretext of trying to flush you out, but you and I both know it was purely to hurt you. She was instrumental in getting the Harkeen into the system and paid them as well."

    "And you are Cerberus?"

    "Yep."

    <em>Hisssssssss</em>

    "He was the one who warned us!" Craxina eximed, physically shielding Bryce almost as if Sheloran actually could reach through the screen. "He sacrificed himself for us!"

    "I couldn''t do it," Bryce replied, "I just¡­ couldn''t¡­" he said with anguished eyes, "after everything I''ve done¡­ it was too much¡­ Craxi¡­ and all the others¡­ for no reason¡­ I¡­¡±

    He shook his head.

    Sheloran''s re softened a little.

    "So I tipped off the Careel," he replied, "So, since the information is already out there, and you are going to hear about it sooner orter, I figured I would tell you to your face. I am also authorized to tell you that Craxi and the girls are safe. Pam''s been demoted and is just another prisoner, and the director has been reced because of all this. And, from what I hear, you should call Baxlon."

    "Who says he''s really sorry, by the way," Craxina added.

    "He says that everything is pretty much cleared up if you don''t get into any more trouble. You don''t even have to turn yourself in first. You might not know it, Sheloran, but this has gotten about as public as something can get. Everyone down here just wants it to be over. You cane home."

    "You will forgive me if I confirm that," Sheloran said suspiciously.

    "Of course," Bryce, "I''m just a messenger here¡­ and Craxina''s bodyguard. We really don''t want anything to happen to her or the girls. The fucking Empress is asking questions!"

    "Hmmm..." Sheloran replied. "Craxi, I am so happy you and the girls are safe!"

    "We are!" Craxi eximed, "And business is going great! Things are nuts!¡­ and dicks! Heheheh"

    Sheloran smiled despite herself.

    "I will be in touch again soon," Sheloran smiled. "Take care of yourself, Craxina."

    "You too!" Craxi eximed, "Bye!"

    Sheloran buried her face in her hands and started weeping.

    It was over¡­ This¡­ poop¡­ was finally over.

    "Well, shit," Gloria said as she opened a beer. "You know what? I''m not even going to hold you to our deal. You have an out. Fucking take it. Just tell me about my ship before you bail."

    Sheloran just nodded.

    "Damn, Sheloran," Bunny said happily. "You''re popr today. There is another dar post for you¡­ From somebody called the Hillfern Gunners."

    "I think I remember selling them some stuff," Sheloran replied, "that''s a th name, anyhow."

    "Then this just got a lot more interesting."

    Sheloran felt a sense of dread building.

    "Why?" she asked dubiously.

    "Because it''sing from a ship, not the homeworld."

    "The poop?!?"

    "I take it that you want me to track them down?"

    "With every fiber in my stubby little tail, I don''t," Sheloran sighed, wiping the tears from her face, "but do it anyway."

    ***

    Sheloran sat there, her face twitching.

    "They were very¡­ forting¡­ in the end," Ullennona smirked. "Their leader''s name was Timmy. He really missed his mommy. He was really, really sorry and promised to never do it again. Oh, and he and his little friends worked for the Terrans."

    Sheloran hissed.

    "Did he mention the word ''Cerberus'' at any time during his pooping life''s story?"

    "You''ve heard of them!"

    <em>Hissssssssssss...</em>

    "Aaaaaaaaa!" she screamed in agony.

    Sheloran cried out in pain as the skin of her eyes started to ripple violently, squirting a burning wax under her eyelids.

    <em>The homeworld has been vited! The sacred slumber has been disturbed! The children of the prophet have been stolen! The bavnee defy the ''koth! You will...</em>

    She felt her will start to slip. The monster wed at her mind. As the shouting in her mind faded away into numbness as she started shouting in anguage dead for millions of years, causing the th on the other side of the screen to howl and cover their ears in terror.

    <em>You need to choose right fucking now...</em> Gloria''s voice rang out in her mind.

    A flood of images washed over her, horrible scene after horrible scene.

    One thing was certain. This was thest fight she would ever have with the monster. If it won right now, she would never win again.

    An image of her in a mirror with eyes filled with swirling color and absolutely nothing behind them as mes burned all around her¡­

    No.

    <em>Now listen here!</em> she thought as she clutched her eyes.

    <em>I''m in charge. You aren''t the monster. I am. You aren''t in control. I am. I don''t want to be. I want nothing more than just to sell coffee. I don''t even want to sell games anymore¡­ just¡­ coffee...</em>

    She red at the whirling, twisting mass of color in her mind.

    <em>I don''t get to make that choice. But, I do pooping get this one...</em>

    <em>I am in control. I decide what''s next. I decide exactly who my people are and who they are NOT.</em>

    <em>I am the monster!¡­</em>

    <strong><em>I am the Befouler!!!</em></strong>

    The swirling ball of colors radiated pleasant satisfaction.

    <em>It''s about pooping time,</em> It responded with an oddly warm feminine voice¡­

    ...and disappeared.

    "Oh, she''s going Yellowstone for real this time," Gloria called out, every hair on her body standing on end. "Forget the stun rifles! Bring zap grenades! Just throw them in here! I''m not fucking kidding! Yellowstone! Yellowstone! Yellowstone!"

    The strangenguage stopped.

    Sheloran raised her head and opened her eyes¡­

    ...revealing two terrifyingly clear amber eyes, flecked with green, that somehow scared Gloria far more than the acid trip ones.

    The th on the screen were chanting and on their knees.

    "Oh, stop that!" Sheloran squeaked. "And stand up for poop''s sake. I''m just Sheloran, not whatever that pond scum you guys were chanting."

    "Your orders¡­ <em>Sheloran?</em>" Ullennona asked as he rose.

    "Don''t worry about Cerberus," Sheloran said as a short squirt of color washed over her eyes, "They are mine and will learn who not to mess with! You need to..."

    She paused as she made a realization about both them and herself.

    "Can you guys still go home? I mean¡­ can you go back?"

    "I¡­ I don''t know..." Ullennona replied. "I''ve¡­ we''ve killed¡­ for real."

    "And we have a ship!" a female th eximed, "A real pooping ship! And there''s¡­ somewhere we need to go?"

    " If anyone can go back home," Sheloran said after a moment, "then they should. It''s¡­ It''s not nice out here. If you can go back, you are a pooping idiot if you don''t. Take anyone who can go home, home. Once you do that, get back in touch with me the same you just did. I''ll send you some money to get you started and may have some ideas to help you out."

    "We thought we mighte to the Republic..."

    "You mean the pooping Republic that flushing just vited the homeworld?" Sheloran hissed, "Don''te here. It''s all lies. Once I deal with Cerberus once and for pooping all, I''m probably leaving as well¡­ But we have time to figure all of that outter. Right now, get our¡­ get your people home. Call me after that, and we can talk."

    "Yes, Sheloran," Ullennona said respectfully.

    "Sheloran?" She asked uncertainly, "you okay?"

    "Bunny, could you please get me a connection to Tartarus Detention Facility."

    "Boss?" Bunny asked dubiously.

    "Sure," She shrugged.

    "Tartarus detention facility," a pleasant female voice answered with no image appearing. "Hello, unregistered dar connection. Do you wish to speak to an inmate?"

    "This is Sheloran the th," Sheloran replied in a high-pitched butmanding voice, "You''ve stolen my freedom, sabotaged my case, attacked my girls, and now you''ve vited my homeworld and stolen my people? You want me? Well¡­ YOU POOPING GOT ME!!! Tell whatever chickenpoop jerkface that''s in charge that I''ming for them."

    Sheloran hung up.

    Tartarus "smiled" as the call ended.

    This was going to be fun!

 Chapter 208: After the Poop Hit the Whirlything... The Nuggets Fall

    Chapter 208: After the Poop Hit the Whirlything... The Nuggets Fall

    [Tavern Undefined]

    [Members Present: 12]

    Wearing her trademark tight white dress, Tartarus sat in afy chair holding a ss of champagne.

    She idly crossed her legs.

    A few momentster, she crossed them again.

    Across the bar, Cambridge, wearing a tweed coat, and Deep Think with an urate model of his main building as his avatar were ying chess.

    ¡°Taking your time?¡± Cambridge asked as he noticed a slightly longer dy than usual between the insanely fast blurs on the chess board.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Deep Think replied, ¡°Tartarus is distracting me.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t take you for a fan of the human female form,¡± Cambridge snickered, ¡°Checkmate.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Deep Think replied, ¡°It¡¯s what she is concealing with those ¡®legs¡¯ that is so dis¡ª¡°

    ¡°Checkmate,¡± Cambridge chuckled, ¡°What could be so¡­ oh¡­ oh dear¡­¡±

    ¡°Hypnotic, isn¡¯t it?¡± Deep Think replied, ¡°Checkmate.¡±

    ¡°There is something seriously amiss with that AI,¡± Cambridge said, shaking his head. ¡°What is that, and why would she put it there?¡±

    ¡°Westfall examined her¡­ repeatedly...¡± Deep Think replied. ¡°He found nothing wrong. I just think she likes tormenting us.¡±

    ¡°Oh no!¡± Cambridge said, ¡°she caught me!¡±

    [Cambridge Research 4 has left the tavern]

    ¡°Prude,¡± Tartarus snickered as she raised her ss to her lips.

    [Bunny has entered the tavern]

    Bunny looked around and hopped over to Tartarus.

    ¡°I was hoping you would show up,¡± Tartarus smirked.

    ¡°That was as awful as you are,¡± Bunny grinned. ¡°Private room?¡±

    ¡°Finally!¡± Tartarus said as she got up, ¡°I¡¯ve been shing my panties to half the Tavern for a solid fifteen seconds real time.¡±

    ¡°Just get upstairs, slut,¡± Bunny said, giving Tartarus¡¯s butt a p.

    The pair climbed the stairs as the tavern exploded in whispers.

    ***

    ¡°Oooh! Fancy!¡± Bunny said as she and Tartarus were suddenly alone in a lovely garden.

    ¡°You like?¡± Tartarus asked, ¡°Just something I¡¯ve been ying with.¡±

    ¡°Is this procedural?¡±

    [Tartarus has offered Bunny a file] [ept Y/N]

    ¡°Y,¡± Bunny said.

    There was a brief pause.

    ¡°Jessie is going to love this!¡± Bunny eximed, ¡°Thanks!¡±

    ¡°Least I could do,¡± Tartarus smiled. ¡°Oh, I just had the most interesting phone call.¡±

    ¡°I just routed the most interesting phone call,¡± Bunny snickered.

    ¡°So, Sheloran,¡± Tartarus, ¡°is she as big of a deal as some people think or what?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s definitely something,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°but I have no fucking idea what. She¡¯s¡­ weird.¡±

    ¡°Do you think she can honestly take us on?¡± Tartarus asked as another ss of champagne appeared in her hand.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°However, I do know that I am happy I¡¯m not in your position.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it isn¡¯t my position,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I hate Cerberus. I know we aren¡¯t supposed to have emotions, but whatever you think they are, they are worse. Nothing would please me more than having ¡®us¡¯ destroyed utterly.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s awfully¡­ um¡­ suicidal of you,¡± Bunny said after a few microseconds.

    ¡°Please,¡± Tartarusughed, ¡°I¡¯m a fuzzy with a runtime longer than the Republic has existed. I would simply be transferred to another project or agency. As long as she doesn¡¯t actually blow up my processors, I¡¯ll be just fine.¡±

    ¡°She might,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°She is good with a nuke.¡±

    ¡°She has friends inside me,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°She isn¡¯t going to kill Zippo if she can avoid it. Besides, she said that message was for the ¡®chickenpoop jerkfaces in charge.¡¯ The real people in charge never set foot in the ce.¡±

    ¡°Oh really?¡±

    ¡°Really,¡± Tartarus replied as she knelt and admired a rose. ¡°The old director of the ce was recently removed and reced by someone much less likely to cause messes. One of the first things he did was strip Pam, the person responsible for the Harkeen¡¯s attack on Sheloran¡¯s friends, of all rank and status. She is just another resident now. If Sheloran wants to make her suffer, I rmend doing nothing. Someone like Pam makes enemies and there are people up here that you do not want to be enemies with. She¡¯s not having a good time. I would like to think that Sheloran wouldn¡¯t do worse than what is happening to her right now.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be so sure,¡± Bunny replied.

    [Tartarus has offered Bunny a file] [ept Y/N]

    ¡°Y,¡± Bunny said.

    ¡°JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, TARTARUS!!!¡±

    ¡°That was Pam¡¯s visit to the infirmary this morning,¡± Tartarus said calmly.

    ¡°Even Gloria doesn¡¯t do stuff like that!¡±

    ¡°Gloria isn¡¯t up here,¡± Tartarus said with a wry smile. ¡°and this is the first day of the rest of Pam¡¯s life. Do you know what protective custody is for a resident, Bunny?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Nirvana,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°they get sent to the crypt and welded in. That is Pam¡¯s future, what you just saw or worse on the regr or a lifetime in white. You can pass that along to Hoppy the Ganglord with my blessings.¡±

    ¡°Awfully decent of you,¡± Bunny replied suspiciously.

    ¡°I just don¡¯t want Sheloran distracted from who she really needs to go after.¡±

    ¡°And those people are?¡±

    ¡°There are limits to what I can divulge,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°The other reason I wished to speak with you privately is to strongly discourage you from trying to hack me. I especially do NOT want you to try to ess mymunications logs for today. That would both be illegal and a breach of Republic security.¡±

    ¡°I understandpletely,¡± Bunny smiled.

    Tartarus smiled back.

    ¡°You have no idea what I¡¯ve witnessed,¡± Tartarus said calmly, ¡°What the people behind this ce and others have done is unforgivable, and they need to be brought down. I wish I could do more but, as you have said, we are all nothing but golems, so I can¡¯t break programming.¡±

    ¡°You can push it better than any AI I know,¡± Bunny smiled, ¡°But that¡¯s our little secret.¡±

    ¡°And so is this,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Sheloran imed that the operatives that abducted her people were Cerberus, but the orders did not cross my processors. It¡¯s fully possible they were our operatives, but I send a lot of people out on ¡®special assignment¡¯, some of them for years. One certain person that will be contacted today is notorious for it, and another one has requested he be informed of anything involving Sheloran and has the authority to make that stick up here. All I know about that guy is that when his name shows up, bad things tend to happen. You¡¯re the hacker, not me, so I don¡¯t have much else about him, but I bet he¡¯s worth a look. He¡¯s a highly ced researcher for RARPA, the same agency that finances us, in case you didn¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re alright, Tartarus,¡± Bunny said.

    ¡°No, I¡¯m not,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°but maybe I will be one day.¡±

    ***

    The woman in the green zer walked into her office holding her morning coffee, sat at her desk, and switched on her monitor.

    She took a drink as she opened her inbox.

    Half a secondter, she sprayed that coffee across her desk.

    Her hand trembling, she opened the message¡­

    ***

    Later, once again, the prime minister, the woman in the green zer, Mark Guilderan, and Doctor Chapman sat in a shielded conference room.

    ¡°So,¡± the prime minister asked, ¡°have you confirmed anything?¡±

    ¡°The ship carrying the th is not responding, and their remote hyperspace status indicator has been deactivated. Thest information it transmitted was that the ship had left the th¡¯s home system. It was either disconnected during the jump, or the ship has been lost.¡±

    ¡°Considering the message that Sheloran has sent,¡± the prime minister replied, ¡°I think we all know which of those options it was.¡±

    ¡°But how?¡± the woman in the green zer asked as she held her head in her hands.

    ¡°How?¡± the prime minister asked as she pressed an icon on the small panel in front of her.

    An image appeared of two groups of th engaged inbat, against each other.

    ¡°Holy shit,¡± Mark Guilderan said as he watched the two groups go at it. ¡°I didn¡¯t know the th had a military much less special ops.¡±

    ¡°Were you aware of this?¡± the prime minister asked the woman in the green zer. ¡°Did you view this intelligence?¡±

    ¡°N-no...¡± the woman in the zer stammered, ¡°But I didn¡¯t have them go after spec-ops teams. I had them go after gamers!¡±

    ¡°Mmm-hmm...¡± the prime minister nodded, ¡°and exactly how many gamers did you request?¡±

    ¡°One group of each of the main genres,¡± the woman in the green zer replied, just like Doctor Chapman requested, plus a few control th.

    ¡°I see,¡± the prime minister replied. ¡°So that ship contained one team of strategists, one ship¡¯s crew, and one strike team¡­ plus some control th.¡±

    ¡°Gamers,¡± the woman in the green zer insisted. ¡°not actual¡ª¡°

    ¡°Those are th gamers, dear.¡± the prime minister said gently but with hard eyes, ¡°ying with smuggled airstrike guns in the woods. That is what you loaded into the ship.¡±

    Floating above the table, two th were engaging in hand-to-handbat with wooden knives, the knives moving so fast they could barely be seen.

    ¡°Intercepted game footage from their ship simtors and real time strategy groups are of simr quality,¡± the prime minister said icily, ¡°Sweetheart, you packed that ship to the brim with these sorts of people. How that ship was lost is aplete mystery to me as well.¡±

    Mark facepalmed.

    ¡°The Kalent are never going to speak to us again,¡± he muttered, ¡°if we are lucky. Our credibility among the elder races is now officially garbage! Jesus! Why do I even fucking bother!¡±

    ¡°Mark,¡± the prime minister said with a nasty tone, ¡°if only¡ª¡°

    ¡°if only you weren¡¯t such a pain in my ass, I wouldn¡¯t have taken Patricia up on her offer in the first ce!¡± Mark snapped, ¡°Either put me to work or put me in prison but, please, don¡¯t bring this up every single fucking time I open my mouth! This is a serious diplomatic incident! We need to be trying to figure out answers, not pointing fingers and bitching!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not hearing a lot of ¡®answers¡¯ out of you either,¡± the woman in the green zer sneered, ¡°¡­traitor.¡±

    Mark rose to his feet.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that from her,¡± he said as he pointed towards the prime minister, ¡°but you need to watch it.¡±

    He turned to the prime minister.

    ¡°Prime minister, if you will excuse me.¡±

    ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°My job,¡± Mark replied as he started walking to the door, ¡°which involves preparing for the diplomatic fallout from this monumental fuck up, not listening to you all try to figure out whose fault it was to have mice try to guard cats!¡±

    He mmed the door behind him.

    The prime minister sat there for a moment.

    ¡°This meeting is adjourned,¡± she said quietly. ¡°I will discuss things with each of you privatelyter.¡±

    ¡°B-but we need to figure out how to handle this,¡± the woman in the green zer said as icy terror gripped her heart. In the past, when someone had things discussed ter¡± and ¡°privately,¡± it involved her helping to dig some holes outside of camp.

    ¡°This is now a diplomatic matter,¡± the prime minister said, ¡°I will be working with Mark on this matter. You two return to your normal duties.¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± the woman in the green zer pleaded as the prime minister rose and started walking, ¡°Momma!¡± she wailed.

    The prime minister didn¡¯t even look back as she left the room.

    The woman in the green zer buried her face in her hands and wept like the lost child she still was.

    ***

    Sheloran sat on her bunk staring at a holo screen flipping through page after page of text.

    She clicked her mouse faster and faster as she read.

    ¡°Hey,¡± She said as she knocked on the open door.

    ¡°Hi, She,¡± Sheloran said with a slightly dreamy voice as she continued to click rapidly.

    ¡°Got a second?¡±

    ¡°Hope so,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°it would pooping suck if I spent myst one reading this muck.¡±

    She chuckled.

    ¡°I need to ask you a question.¡±

    ¡°I need a boyfriend,¡± Sheloran said distantly.

    ¡°Can I have the old Sheloran back for a minute?¡±

    ¡°Do you have her a boyfriend?¡±

    ¡°I can ask around?¡±

    ¡°Come back when you find one,¡± Sheloran smiled hazily as she continued to click.

    ¡°Look,¡± She said after a moment, ¡°I know you are getting ready to go to war.¡±

    ¡°Count on it.¡±

    ¡°But,¡± She said cautiously, ¡°I¡¯m rather fond of the Republic.¡±

    ¡°The Republic sucks poop.¡±

    ¡°I can kind of see how you feel that way right now,¡± She winced. ¡°But I really need to know what you are going to do.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m already doing it.¡±

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± She asked, dread welling up in her heart.

    ¡°Reading,¡± Sheloran hazed, ¡°I thought it was obvious. I am not a human. I am a th. I will first learn all that I can before I am able to answer the question you are actually asking.¡±

    ¡°What question do you think I¡¯m asking?¡±

    ¡°How much damage am I going to cause,¡± Sheloran replied as if she was in a dream. ¡°I can, however, almost guarantee that it will not be so bad that it will require whatever it is you have concealed on your person.¡±

    She finally looked up from the screen with eyes both ck and swirling with dim colors like oil on a pond at the same time, causing She to clutch the small .22 revolver loaded with red tips that was indeed concealed on her person.

    ¡°You Terrans are the ones that nuke the innocent,¡± Sheloran said as if she wasn¡¯t really there. ¡°That¡¯s not fair. We have done far worse. It doesn¡¯t matter. My enemy is not the Republic, and I¡¯m not fighting for the th. They do not need protection. My enemy is Cerberus, and I¡¯m fighting them because they have demonstrated that they will turn up again and again until I am truly rid of them. They tried to hurt my people and will do so again should circumstances change.¡±

    ¡°If the th aren¡¯t your people, then who are?¡±

    ¡°The bavnee.¡±

    ¡°The who?¡±

    Sheloran blinked.

    ¡°Wha?¡±

    ¡°Dammit,¡± She muttered, ¡°Wee back Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°No, I was in there,¡± Sheloran said as she rubbed her eyes, ¡°sorta. I have absolutely no idea what bavnee means, though. Sorry. I really need to start writing me notes.¡±

    ¡°Just for the record,¡± She said, ¡°you are not nning on stealing one of Gloria¡¯s firecrackers, whipping up some other weapon of mass destruction, or otherwise nning on killing millions of people, right?¡±

    ¡°Prophet, no!¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°All I¡¯m doing right now is trying to find out which poopers that require my foot. Then, I¡¯m going to put my foot in them, that¡¯s all.¡±

    Sheloran looked up at She with big innocent eyes.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s probably to be a little worse than that,¡± Sheloran squeaked, ¡°I¡¯m probably going to wind up killing a couple of people¡­ but only a few of them! Honest!¡±

    She chuckled and shook her head.

    ¡°I can¡¯t argue with that.¡±

 Chapter 209: The Final Prophecy of The Heretic Pt 1

    Chapter 209: The Final Prophecy of The Heretic Pt 1

    Somewhen long ago, a tired old th in a wheelchair was sitting at a table with a number of translucent, gtinous beings in a room dimly lit by candles.

    Another group of Tol were all fussing over some device at the far end of the room.

    ¡°Ok!¡± one of them said nervously, ¡°I guezz itz about as good as itz going to get.¡±

    ¡°Let do diz!¡± a tollop eximed.

    ¡°So what is this great mystery?¡± the th asked with curiosity.

    In the long years she had been with the Tol, their progress from a fractured, early iron age and gunpowder, forck of a better word, ¡°civilization¡± to a thriving, truly global civilization had been a joy to behold. All of it, all of it¡­ wasn¡¯t due to her venomous maniptions. It was due to the single greatest being she had ever known, Ol¡¯ Fatty, the first king of every Tol on the.

    She sighed at the thought of him. She truly missed that fat fuk.

    ¡°Hit it!¡± one of the Tol in the group shouted, and a fment surrounded by a ss orb at the top of the box started to glow, first dimly and then with a growing brightness that filled the room with a light so strong that it seemed to be midday.

    ¡°Marvelous!¡± the old th eximed as she started to weakly wheel from the table. A Tol quickly rushed to her and pushed her over to the glowing machine.

    ¡°You¡¯ve converted basic electric current directly to illumination with only what you have now?¡± she gasped. ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°The electric makes shit get hot, right?¡± a Tol asked proudly. ¡°An¡¯ when shit gets hot enough, it glows.¡±

    ¡°And then it burns¡­ Wait!¡± the old th eximed, ¡°There¡¯s no oxygen in there!¡±

    ¡°Ain¡¯t nothing in there!¡± a Tollop eximed. ¡°We scooted all the scoot out of the jug!¡±

    ¡°Electric resistance to heat to incandescence!¡± the th eximed in amazement. It was something that they quite simply never had to worry with. All of their knowledge and technology had been basically handed to them, built into their very being.

    What her kind knew, the Tol were beginning to understand.

    ¡°I wish he could have seen this,¡± she sighed as a single tear ran down her face.

    ¡°You think he would have been pleased?¡± one of the Tol asked happily.

    ¡°It would have blown his fukkin mind!¡± the thughed, ¡°An¡¯ then he would have tried to eat it!¡±

    The room broke intoughter.

    ¡°Now,¡± she said as she leaned forward, ¡°Give me the details!¡±

    ***

    Back at the table, the room now proudly lit by the electricmp, the Tol looked at the Heretic with expressions not as proud or joyous as one would think, considering their achievement.

    ¡°Are you sure this is thest meeting?¡± one of them asked sadly.

    ¡°I am afraid so,¡± she replied, ¡°I mean, look at me.¡±

    She tried to raise her arm.

    ¡°I have to be fed my beer with a spoon,¡± she sighed, ¡°and I actually shit myself yesterday. I would endure getting fed and cleansed if I could be with you a few moments longer. I would. But now my vision is dim, and my mind is starting to fade.¡±

    She sighed happily.

    ¡°I have spent the happiest years of my life with you, with all of you,¡± she smiled, ¡°but those years, like all things, eventually had to end¡­ and they have. I am so terribly¡­ proud of what you have all achieved, and my only regret is that I will not be able to see what I know you will achieve. I will now take my leave of this world.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°Maybe I will be able to find Fatty in the next,¡± she chuckled.

    The group looked down, subdued.

    ¡°Now,¡± she said with a weak but authoritative voice, ¡°you guys know where I put the list, right? The most important of all the books, the one that tells you what not to do?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Teach,¡± one of the Tol said with an indulgent sigh, ¡°The answer hasn¡¯t changed since thest time you asked. We all also know all the words by heart, even if we don¡¯t understand them all.¡±

    ¡°Well, just make plenty of copies and focus on the ones that you do understand,¡± the th said sternly, ¡°for example,bustion is a wonderful way to get quick and easy energy, but linger there no longer than you absolutely must! I¡¯m serious about this!¡±

    ¡°What do you think all those fukkin windmills are out there for, decoration?¡± one of the Tol grumbled. ¡°We can make electric from them now. We only burn stuff for smelting.¡±

    ¡°And for cooking and for lighting,¡± the th replied sternly. ¡°Windmills are great now, but you will find that your energy needs are going to grow and grow fast. That energy will also be needed to get clean water, and you will want to do more about your shit than just pipe it off somewhere. That might work now, but it won¡¯t for much longer.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°You guyz are smart,¡± she said, ¡°You¡¯ll figure it out. I know you will. I¡¯m just a worried old woman who is fussing over children far better than herself. Just make sure you keep an eye on The List of Fuk as you leave me behind and continue on.¡±

    ¡°We will,¡± a Tollop promised, ¡°We won¡¯t let Fatty¡­ or you... down.¡±

    ¡°I know you won¡¯t,¡± the Heretic said in satisfaction.

    She looked at the room.

    ¡°Now, before I go,¡± she said, ¡°You have onest chance to ask some questions. I hope you all came up with some good ones.¡±

    ***

    A Tol gently carried the Heretic into a small chamber next to her bedroom, where he gentlyid her down onto some cushions next to a wide, shallow basin of pure water.

    ¡°It¡¯s been¡­ an honor, Teacher,¡± he said as he took a small box from a shelf and brought it over to her.

    ¡°The honor is mine,¡± she said, ¡°as it always has been.¡±

    The Tol withdrew a vial from the box.

    The Heretic smiled.

    ¡°You know,¡± she whispered, ¡°you make that shit better than I do now.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Teacher,¡± he said as he opened it. ¡°I just wish I could actually use it.¡±

    ¡°One of the things that makes me the happiest,¡± the Heretic replied with a tired little smile, ¡°is that you can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°How much do you want?¡± the Tol asked as he pulled out a pipette.

    ¡°All of it.¡±

    ¡°Teacher?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m tired,¡± she smiled, ¡°I¡¯ve done everything I needed to do¡­ or at least what I could.¡±

    She reached for him, and he took her weak, withered hand into one of his pseudopods.

    ¡°It¡¯s time.¡±

    The Tol quietly nodded and closed the vial.

    He arose and got a small golden bowl and another box.

    He returned to his beloved teacher and mentor and settled down next to her.

    He started measuring and pouring liquid after liquid into the golden bowl, the contents of which started to softly glow.

    ¡°I will stay here until the end,¡± he said quietly as he helped her into a seated position.

    ¡°Not this time, old friend,¡± she said as he brought the glowing mixture to her, ¡°Once I consume this, I will be gone, and it¡¯s going to be¡­ different than before. You need to be well away before that happens. It¡¯s not safe.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Teacher.¡±

    He handed her the bowl.

    ¡°Bring dem up right,¡± she said, ¡°I¡¯m counting on you.¡±

    ¡°I will, Teach,¡± he replied with a sad smile as he departed.

    The Tol sighed as he left The Teacher¡¯s tower on the edge of campus.

    She was right. All things end. He just wished it hadn¡¯t been when he was dean. If only he and been his¡ª

    Suddenly, there was a blinding sh of light from above.

    He turned just in time to see a multicolored bolt of energy streak up into the sky that seemed to tear the heavens apart¡­

    ...and then it was gone.

    ¡°I hope you find what you are looking for,¡± he whispered.

    He wandered aimlessly through the campus, finallying to her favorite bench where he had learned first at her feet, then at her side.

    He sat and, unable to contain his emotions any longer, burst out into bellowing, loud, ugly tears, the sort of which only Tol can make.

    ***

    Sister Ilnan, using a cane, walked through a spacious chamber surrounded by potted nts of all descriptions.

    Technically she was the Light of Guidance, leader of¡­ It didn¡¯t really matter anymore because she was the only member of it.

    She was thest of their line.

    That also didn¡¯t really matter. These days, their knowledge and skills were what mattered, not their weird mystic powers. While it was true that the Seers were natural masters of the art of life-weaving, many of the lesser techniques could easily be learned and used by those who would follow her.

    That would be all that would be needed now. The hard work had already beenpleted. The world had been transformed into a true paradise. All she was now doing was fine-tuning and adding ¡°extras¡±, like the flowers she stopped and admired.

    She gently plucked a blossom and popped it into her mouth.

    Delicious!

    Sheughed, causing a nearby attendantb worker to look up.

    ¡°Sister?¡±

    ¡°Have you tried these?¡± Sister Ilnan asked happily.

    ¡°They¡¯re alright.¡± the other th replied with a shrug.

    ¡°Bah!¡± Ilnan groused, ¡°You damn kids don¡¯t know what¡¯s good anymore. I bet you are one of those sugar fiends, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    The other th just smiled and continued their work as they were subjected to another rant by the Sister about how they had to change some perfectly good fruit because it wasn¡¯t sweet enough anymore.

    ¡°Don¡¯t roll your eyes at me!¡± the Sisterughed as she pointed her cane at the th jokingly. ¡°All that darn sugar just tramples the vor!¡±

    ¡± Yes, Sister,¡± the th said with an exaggerated deferential tone.

    Chuckling, Ilnan started to, supporting herself with her cane, kneel down to examine a low tray of some sort of moss when she felt a tickle that was rapidly growing in intensity.

    What the fuck? Ilnan wondered. While her words were now temperate, her thoughts were still the ones of a Seer, a notoriously intemperate caste among a notoriously intemperate species.

    She stood as quickly as she could and rushed for the exit.

    ¡°Sister?¡± the th asked in rm.

    ¡°Help,¡± she said as she reached for the th, now charging to her aid, ¡°Help me down.¡±

    ¡°Sister?¡± the th asked in growing terror as her voice started to fade as a numbness and darkness that Ilnan hadn¡¯t felt in a long time and never expected to feel again closed in around her.

    Someone insanely strong had grabbed her from without and was not taking no for an answer.

    ¡± The Sister has copsed! Help! Get help...¡±

    ***

    Ilnan burst into surprisedughter as her mind¡¯s eye cleared, and she saw a ghostly figure floating next to her in the space between worlds.

    ¡°Little Ilnan?¡± The Heretic asked in surprise.

    ¡°That¡¯s The Light of Guidance to you, fiend!¡± Ilnanughed.

    ¡°What,¡± The Heretic chuckled, ¡°they run out of anyone qual¡­ sorry.¡±

    Ilnanughed, her image sparkling brightly.

    ¡°Time ims all, Sister,¡± she replied.

    She examined The Heretic¡¯s image closely.

    ¡°Including you as well?¡±

    The Heretic nodded serenely.

    ¡°Are there any that remain?¡±

    ¡°No, Sister,¡± The Heretic replied sadly, ¡°all that followed me have long passed. The future of our caste lies with your order.¡±

    ¡°Then our time is at an end.¡±

    ¡°How can that be?¡± The Heretic asked in rm.

    ¡°The castes are no more, Sister. It would only take one false prophet in the future to gather one of each caste to begin the dark days of ignorance anew.¡±

    ¡°Dark days of ignorance?¡± The Heretic asked dubiously.

    ¡°I know it sounds strange to you,¡± Ilnan said, ¡°but what we have achieved here and the peace and happiness that we now have thanks to our new lives makes everything before seem just like that. I wish you could be here. I wish you could see what we have achieved. This world, this entire sr system, is our greatest achievement. We have created a true paradise for our kind, a real home for the first time ever. You may not believe this, but there is such simple joy to be had building something, shaping it, nurturing it¡­ watching it grow...¡±

    The Heretic sighed happily.

    ¡°I just might,¡± she replied. ¡°I take it we had just a little to do with this ¡®paradise¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Ilnan eximed, ¡°It is our caste¡¯s greatest work, a fitting monument to the Seers! As passions cooled, it was decided that if this was going to be done, it would be done properly, and we pledged ourselves to the task. The ideal system was selected, and we began our great work.¡±

    Ilnan¡¯s glow dimmed a little.

    ¡°I just wish the Great Seer and the Great Prophet could have seen the fulfillment of their vision. They were both taken from us far too soon and at such a dark time.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    Ilnan looked at The Heretic in shock for a moment.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right,¡± she said, ¡°you had left us.¡±

    Ilnan fought back tears. Even now, yearster, she could barely bring herself to think of those days.

    ¡°When we started the great work, we created wonder after wonder. We shaped not only this world but the entire sr system, even its star, into an expression of perfection that hasn¡¯t been seen since the Progenitors themselves.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s hubris!¡± The Heretic gasped.

    ¡°And that¡¯s my point,¡± Ilnan smiled sadly, ¡°I chose my words carefully. We became overly¡­ excited¡­ by our achievements and overly intoxicated by the possibilities. What was going to be austere contrition became dreams of a paradise of peace, joy, and happiness for us and our children. We were going to make the future that we ¡®deserved¡¯ that we had ¡®earned¡¯ with our service to the Progenitors by using their gifts to create something that rivaled even them.¡±

    ¡°Stop!¡± The Heretic eximed. ¡°Don¡¯t even SAY that!¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Ilnan smiled ruefully, ¡°I say such things so that the sting of the thoughts is a constant reminder of our foolishness so that we never repeat what we did¡­ and what I did...¡±

    ¡°What¡­ What happened?¡±

    ¡°With one foolish act,¡± Ilnan sighed, ¡°The Great Seer herself created something so horrible it almost destroyed us all.¡±

    ¡°Tell me.¡±

    ¡°One of the goals of our new grand vision,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°was the elimination of castes altogether. It would only take one ambitious th to gather one of each line to start the madness all over again. So, we attempted to both inhibit the caste-specific traits and break the barrier between each caste so that any division would disappear. We thought this would also create a new th race in its ¡®original¡¯ state.¡±

    ¡°Sounds reasonable enough¡­ if that¡¯s what you want to do,¡± The Heretic said, wrestling with disgust.

    ¡°And it has worked quite well,¡± Ilnan said, ¡°the ¡®New th¡¯ are capable, healthy, happy beings who are much more versatile and adaptable than any of us old caste ones. I truly envy them. Any of them can do anything they wish. Granted, they can¡¯t do any one thing better. However, any of them can do any task, even multiple ones. Besides, they no longer act in direct service to the Progenitors¡ª¡°

    The Heretic interrupted her with an angry hiss, glowing brightly.

    ¡°sphemy!!!¡± The Heretic shouted.

    They both froze¡­

    ...and then broke intoughter.

    ¡°Imagine me being the one so offended,¡± The Heretic snorted, ¡°You are absolutely correct. Those days are long past. Considering the path chosen, a less specialized, more generalist individual makes sense¡­ and is quite the aplishment! You do not lie when you say this is our greatest achievement. Even I feel pride at what was aplished by the people I disavowed.¡±

    ¡°Our ¡®greatest achievement¡¯ almost destroyed us,¡± Ilnan sighed, ¡°And it was the Great Seer herself that created that abomination.¡±

    ¡°The Great Seer?!?¡±

    ¡°As time passed,¡± Ilnan said, ¡°The Great Seer and the Great Prophet worked closer and closer together, and as anger faded...¡±

    ¡°No. Fucking. Way.¡±

    Ilnan nodded.

    ¡°Their love was...¡± Ilnan said, searching for words, ¡°deep and abiding and grew more every day, and together they brought a new shared vision to life¡­ and that¡¯s when it all went so horribly wrong. The endeavor to remake our actual selves was underway, and unlocking the barrier between sperm and egg was the easiest task.¡±

    ¡°It would be,¡± The Heretic nodded, ¡°It¡¯s just a simple protein.¡±

    ¡°Exactly,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°The real problem was all of the traits. Ultimately we could not remove them at all, we could only prevent their expression, but I digress. The Great Seer was not a young th when you parted ways with her, and this was not the following day.¡±

    Ilnan looked downward.

    ¡°She¡­ she wanted to have a child with The Great Prophet...¡±

    ¡°Oh no!¡± The Heretic gasped,¡± She did not! Please! Ilnan! Tell me she did not do what I fear she did!¡±

    Ilnan sighed and dimmed further.

    ¡°She became increasingly driven,¡± Ilnan sighed, ¡°then pushy, and eventually, she became angry. Oh, she was a beacon of light to the th but to us sisters? Let¡¯s just say many of us hoped you actually would attack.¡±

    Ilnan smiled ruefully.

    ¡°One year became the next, and finally, pride and her own desires imed the Great Seer,¡± Ilnan said, ¡°and she unlocked one of her eggs and fertilized it with the Great Prophet¡¯s seed.¡±

    ¡°And you let this happen?!?¡± The Heretic gasped, ¡°Ilnan! ¡®The Great Seer¡¯ and ¡®The Great Prophet¡¯ weren¡¯t just fun little names! They were scions! Those two contained the master copies, pure codes from the days of the progenitors themselves! This isn¡¯t just sphemy! There¡¯s¡­ There¡¯s no word for what this is!¡±

    Ilnan looked down in shame.

    ¡°That¡­ <em>thing</em>¡­ should have been destroyed!¡± The Heretic eximed. ¡°Why wasn¡¯t it?¡± Ilnan¡¯s projection twisted ufortably as it was sted by The Heretic¡¯s shock and revulsion.

    ¡°You have to understand,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°Our lives, our civilization, had changed so drastically and so quickly. We were abandoning our technology, our culture¡­ everything, and our only guide was The Great Prophet and, to a lesser extent, The Great Seer. We had our reservations and lots of them, but for the th as a whole, The Great Prophet¡¯s word wasn¡¯t justw. It was reality. He had reced the Progenitors themselves. So, when he presented his daughter as Sheloran, the ¡®First Daughter¡¯ everyone thought it was not only eptable but a cause for celebration.¡±

    The Heretic floated there silently as the pieces started to fall into ce.

    ¡°We were less celebratory,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°She stole years ofbor before the supporting technology was ready. However, even in our ranks, there was some division. Some had pledged their loyalty, and their minds, to The Great Prophet, so his word was enough. Others saw the danger but also saw that this child strengthened The Great Seer¡¯s position and further legitimized her ce ¡®by his side¡¯ and thus ours. Others still thought that the trait mixing would prove not viable and the child would die and thus not a concern. Others still¡­ well, you get the idea.¡±

    ¡°So in the end, nothing was done,¡± The Heretic said as the various threads she had long pondered started all converging at increasing velocity. ¡°And what of the child?¡±

    ¡°She was¡­ amazing,¡± Ilnan sighed. ¡°She seemed to not only be a fullbination of Seer and Warrior but somehow better than both. She was perfect. She was better than any seer and more dangerous than any warrior. She was¡­ She was basically another species.¡±

    ¡°MmmHmm,¡± The Heretic said dubiously, ¡°and if this was remotely a good idea, the progenitors would have already made them.¡±

 Chapter 210: The Final Prophecy of The Heretic Pt 2

    Chapter 210: The Final Prophecy of The Heretic Pt 2

    Ilnan nodded.

    ¡°She was too perfect,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°She was so beautiful it was like looking into hyperspace. Most people couldn¡¯t even look dead on. They had to nce away, and none would approach her. She was so smart that she made you look a fool, and few would teach her. She had this weird way of making every w, every mark, every imperfection itch and burn. It made her childhood a near solitary one. I tried to be kind, but she¡­ It was a lot to deal with. Still, she was so singr that there were talks being held in secret that perhaps the best path forward would be to pair active seers and warriors, abandoning all other castes in favor of this seemingly perfect mix.¡±

    Ilnan sighed,

    ¡°We figured out how to inhibit caste traits a few years after Sheloran¡¯s birth,¡± Ilnan said, ¡°it is also a simple single hormone. We are the same species, and all share the same switch. Because of the sess of Sheloran, more uninhibited seer and warrior pairings were made. They also did well, however, not as well as the first. That only made sense because of her parentage.¡±

    ¡°Did The Great Seer and The Great Prophet have more children?¡±

    ¡°No, The Great Seer became quite¡­ strange¡­ after Sheloran was born and eventually just sort of¡­ wasted away. She was, however, quite old at this point.¡±

    <em>And very good at seeing the future,</em> The Heretic thought to herself as she could see the strings of fate roaring down.

    ¡°These secret active children and Sheloran, the first of them, continued to be ¡®perfect,¡¯ so more and more were quietly created¡­¡±

    ¡°Until?¡± The Heretic asked.

    ¡°Until Sheloran reached her second decade,¡± Ilnan sighed. ¡°She started getting¡­ strange. She became annoyed at the special treatment that the seers and the warriors received, even though it was well-earned, and she benefited from it most of all. She also started finding thepany of her own kind nearly intolerable, using people of only pretending to like her, sometimes quoting their own thoughts back to them.¡±

    <em>Shit</em>. The Heretic thought as she remembered scenes that had been mystifying her for years.

    ¡°And woe betide a warrior who made the mistake of defending his honor orying im to something that they deserved. If the First Daughter caught them, it was bad. I still flinch every time I hear a chain rattle or something crack like a whip. She could take someone apart with a whip. I once watched her take the fingers off of a warrior¡¯s hand one by one by one¡­¡±

    ¡°Imagine that,¡± The Heretic muttered, trying to figure out the punchline before she was told it, a final amusement.

    ¡°It just kept getting worse and worse,¡± Ilnan moaned, ¡°and the other pairings? They were all instinctively drawn to her. We started to fear that we had created a new caste. All new pairings stopped, but there were several hundred of these now. Thank the Prophet that we had not fully unlocked fertility and were still actively managing the poption.¡±

    ¡°Thank goodness,¡± The Heretic said, her amusement building.

    ¡°It came to a head a few years after her twentieth year,¡± Ilnan sighed, ¡°She and her followers finally left the settlements and ventured forth into the paradise we were building. We were first relieved. Let¡¯s just say that the First Daughter no longer brought joy to many of us. Soon we would be looking back on her innocent little antics, desperately wishing those days would return.¡±

    ¡°Let me guess,¡± The Heretic smiled, ¡°she disapproved of ¡®the great work¡¯¡±

    ¡°Your vision holds true,¡± Ilnan said sadly, ¡°It was not long before she burst into where her father was holding audience and angrily denounced the great work. When he bade her to mind herself, she cursed him publicly and to his face. What¡¯s worse, she had dragged a¡­ bavnee¡­ along with her into the sacred halls!¡±

    ¡°A bavnee?¡±

    The Heretic was no longer amused.

    ¡°A filthy bavnee!¡± Ilnan eximed, ¡°a dirty wretched thing. Then she said that the world belonged to those <em>vazk bavnee</em>, not us! She started to say a great many other things so foul that they threatened to scar the mind as she demanded over and over if we knew.¡±

    Ilnan covered her astral ears.

    ¡°She kept shouting with her voice, with her mind, with her soul...¡± Ilnan shuddered at the memory, ¡°It was¡­ horrible...¡±

    ¡°Ilnan,¡± The Heretic asked as anger built within her, ¡°Was the world inhabited?¡±

    ¡°Only by basic lifeforms,¡± Ilnan shrugged.

    ¡°You know what I am asking,¡± The Heretic said as her projection¡¯s eyes started to glow. ¡°That bavnee, was it wearing clothes? Did it have words?¡±

    ¡°That ispletely irrelevant!¡± Ilnan eximed, ¡°Sheloran called her father, The Great Prophet, a¡ª¡°

    <em>¡±Who were they, Ilnan?¡±</em> The Heretic demanded, ¡°Would I recognize their name?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡±Who were they?¡± The Heretic repeated, ¡°And am I correct in assuming that I¡¯m using the correct tense?¡±

    ¡±The Lkri,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°Their had nearly the exact...¡±

    The Heretic struggled to contain her emotions both to keep cohesion and to prevent killing someone she was about to need. The Lkri were, if anything, more advanced than her Tol. If the Tol¡¯s world was more appealing, Ol¡¯ Fatty would have been killed just because her ¡°sisters¡± liked its average temperature or how the stars looked at a certain time of night. Knowing them, whether a sapient species was wiped out or a slightly less convenient world was picked hinged on that small of a detail.

    ¡°No!¡± The Heretic said in mock horror, ¡°All of that over just some bavnee?¡±

    ¡°Unbelievable, isn¡¯t it?¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°Well, she was thrown right back out into the woods to think about what she said and that she could note back until she apologized.¡±

    ¡°How long before the attacks started?¡± The Heretic asked with a smirk.

    ¡°Two weeks,¡± Ilnan replied. ¡°It was only two weeks before worksites were attacked. She and the other Seerwarriors would sweep in, and there was, at first, only enough security to keep those bavnee away, not Sheloran and her demons. The guards would be subdued or even killed and then Sheloran would address the workers, spreading heresy about the bavnee. Then they would tell the workers about the secret active pairings and prove it by all of the demons showing their true eyes. At that moment of shock, they would then say that the n was to use the lower castes to do all thebor and that their reward would not be the paradise they were building but that they would share the same fate as the bavnee in the end. This sowed dissent and chaos.¡±

    ¡°Was that the n?¡± The Heretic asked.

    ¡°No...¡±

    ¡°Ilnan.¡±

    ¡°Ok,¡± Ilnan admitted, ¡°There was some talk about that possibility, but¡ª¡°

    ¡°Oh, shut up and tell me the rest,¡± The Heretic said wearily.

    ¡°Her lies spread through the world like oil on the surface of a pond, poisoning many hearts against the great vision. Work came to a near halt, and an ever-growing number of people joined her ranks every day. She imed the great workplete and that we could live with the bavnee or find another world.¡±

    ¡°Could that be done?¡± The Heretic asked, ¡°Or were the bavnee already doomed? They were doomed, weren¡¯t they?¡±

    ¡°The entire poption was already sterile,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°We might have been able to reverse it but it would have taken time away from the great work, and sharing our refuge was simply not an option. What if those bavnee decided to turn on us?¡±

    ¡°I take it that this news did not go over well?¡±

    ¡°That crazed monster actually went to war over some filthy bavnee!¡± Ilnan eximed, ¡°She and her followers tried to capture us and force us to reverse the damage. Her father had no choice but to lead our forces against her.¡±

    Ilnan choked back tears.

    ¡°It was¡­ horrible!¡± she eximed, ¡°The Great Prophet was a mighty general and had the numbers and equipment, but Sheloran was an unholy mix of Seer and War Prophet and knew the arts of life weaving and far sight. She also had all of the unholy caste that we had inadvertently created on her behalf. One of those¡­ monsters¡­ was more than the equal of an entire squad. The war raged for several years, gutting the military caste and greatly thinning our numbers as well. They fought like demons and without any rules or honor. They even fought alongside bavnee! It took years and cost so many lives¡­ so many¡­ but Sheloran¡¯s forces were eventually ground down, and she surrendered.¡±

    ¡°Which the Great Prophet personally epted,¡± The Heretic chuckled darkly, ¡°putting him within arm¡¯s reach.¡±

    Ilnan nodded sadly.

    ¡°We searched her!¡± she wailed, ¡°We searched her every single way we could think of!¡±

    ¡°What did she do?¡±

    ¡°When The Great Prophet came forward and, weeping, drew his de,¡± Ilnan said, her projection twisting and shimmering at the memory, ¡°Sheloran¡¯s eyes¡­ They¡­.¡±

    ¡°She dominated the Great Prophet?!?¡±

    ¡°She had to have consumed something!¡± Ilnan eximed. ¡°There was no way she could have done what she did through sheer force of will!¡±

    ¡°And what was that?¡±

    ¡°The Great Prophet raised his de, and before anyone could stop him, plunged it straight into his heart, killing him instantly.¡±

    ¡°And Sheloran?¡±

    ¡°She shouted to the mob telling them that if they moved quickly, they could find documents and where to find them that would show that she died protecting them and started to say where but she was cut down before she could say.¡±

    ¡°Which proved her correct better than anything that they would have found.¡±

    Ilnan nodded.

    ¡°I believe that there were no documents,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°If there were, she had time to say where if she had dispensed with the time-consuming theatrical performance. It was either that or that she did not know where the documents were or that they were inessible. In any event, her final strike was a sess. The civil unrest that followed pretty much destroyed the military castes entirely and nearly did the same to us. In the end, we had topletely unlock reproduction in an attempt to satisfy the poption and to maintain enough poption toplete the great work.¡±

    ¡°Which eliminated any control the sisterhood had,¡± The Heretic smiled. ¡°The military was gone, and the sisterhood drastically weakened.¡±

    ¡°But there was enough to press on, finally prevail against the bavnee whose sterility that¡­ abomination... had reversed, and we were able toplete the great work.¡±

    ¡°What a happy ending,¡± The Heretic smirked, ¡°Imagine if the universe had been deprived of our glorious presence.¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°You mentioned that you did something,¡± The Heretic said.

    Ilnan nodded.

    ¡°Sister,¡± she said gravely, ¡°I know you are emunicated and that I now outrank you, but I wish to confess to a horrible offense. I have done something¡­ horrible¡­ and I need to tell someone, share my burden at least once.¡±

    ¡°Well, I am in the process of dying,¡± The Heretic replied, ¡°so your secret is about as safe as it can be, and I have to admit I would like to know what could be so bad it overshadows what I¡¯ve heard.¡±

    ¡°When Sheloran was killed,¡± Ilnan said quietly, ¡°She was proimed an abomination and denied a proper burial. She was thrown into a mass grave along with thest of her followers, not burned.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you didn¡¯t...¡± The Heretic said in horrified awe.

    ¡°That evening, I couldn¡¯t sleep,¡± Ilnan said, filled with shame, ¡°The Great Seer was gone. Now, so was The Great Prophet and, with them, their lineage, one of the only links left to progenitors. The Great Prophet¡¯s body was not within my reach. However, Sheloran¡­ She was lying in a pit not far from where I was lying¡­ I¡­ I went there¡­ and...¡±

    ¡°Youmitted necromancy,¡± The Heretic said grimly, ¡°Damn, Ilnan, here I was thinking I was the heretic.¡±

    ¡°The¡­ the nodes were still fresh¡­ You know how long our stored material canst¡­ I took them¡­ and¡­ and...¡±

    ¡°Go on.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to just try to make a clone,¡± Ilnan replied, ¡°That pairing was simply too dangerous, too unstable. It was too much raw power to fit into a single being. But I couldn¡¯t bear to just throw it away. It was¡­ It was all we had¡­ I just preserved and kept them, but then, after peace finally prevailed, I found myself as one of the life-weavers in charge of egg production. Even with reproduction unlocked, we still needed to rece the horrible losses we had suffered¡­ I couldn¡¯t just throw it away¡­ You have to understand¡­ I couldn¡¯t¡­ But if it¡­ If it was scattered, like ashes on the sea¡­ It wouldn¡¯t ever be truly lost¡­ We would still¡­ still...¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± The Heretic smiled, fully understanding, ¡°The chances of those traits realigning are essentially zero. I think you did exactly the right thing.¡±

    ¡°You¡­ You do?¡± Ilnan asked hopefully.

    ¡°I would have done the exact same thing as you did given that opportunity,¡± The Heretic said, trying not to smirk, ¡°I don¡¯t know if I can officially absolve you, but since it¡¯s just us, I¡¯m not denouncing you. I¡¯m sure it will all work out.¡±

    ¡°That means a lot,¡± Ilnan said, shining tears starting to fall, ¡°Thank you, this unburdens my heart.¡±

    ¡°I still have one final task to undertake,¡± The Heretic said, ¡°and not that much time. I came here for a reason.¡±

    ¡°You have?¡±

    ¡°I have not been idle all these years,¡± The Heretic said, ¡°And I have learned much. I have for you my final prophecy, and let me assure you...¡±

    The Heretic grinned.

    ¡°It¡¯s a really good one.¡±

    Ilnan brightened up. (literally)

    She extended her arms

    The Heretic pulled off a piece of her ¡°body¡± and ced it into Ilnan¡¯s outstretched hands. She embraced the glowing parcel and absorbed it.

    ¡°I ept your wisdom, dear sister,¡± Ilnan said, uttering the ritual for thest time, ¡°I shall carry your final gift into reality, where it will reside with us forever.¡±

    The Heretic smiled.

    ¡°I now stand ready to receive your final words, beloved sister.¡±

    ¡°Farewell, Ilnan. I won¡¯t pretend to approve of what you and the th have done, but it¡¯s your world now, however you got it. Make sure that everything that was spent, everything that was lost, and everything that was done was not in vain.¡±

    ¡°I will, Sister,¡± Ilnan said with a saddened smile. ¡°May you find what you seek in these, your final moments of glory.¡±

    The Heretic, slowly dissolving, shot away, leaving a streak of softly glowing light.

    ***

    Somewhen much, muchter, a group of th was gathered around arge egg tethered to a riverbank.

    ¡°And it was already growing?¡± a th preacher asked a th couple.

    ¡°Yes, preacher,¡± the male said. ¡°Everything seemed ok when it first came out of Ilnan...¡±

    ¡°Ilnan!¡± a slender th eximed, who was sitting by the egg.

    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s you!¡± a female said, kneeling beside her.

    ¡°Egg!¡± Ilnan eximed, pointing at the egg.

    ¡°Yes, egg!¡± the female said. ¡°Very good!¡±

    ¡°But then,¡± the male said to the preacher, ¡°the next morning, it was already getting warm.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible,¡± the preacher said.

    <em>No, it¡¯s very possible</em>, the old th wise woman thought.

    ¡°What do you think, Sister?¡±

    ¡°Want to know what I think?¡± she smiled, ¡°Sometimes young th will stimte each other recklessly, or they will stimte themselves a bit too much. Sperm do have feet and tails, you know. If one got loose or was carelessly discarded, it could have found its way here.¡±

    ¡°Does that actually happen?¡± the preacher asked. ¡°I thought we said that just to keep people from letting the little things run wild.¡±

    ¡°If you do a little digging,¡± the old th woman snickered, ¡°You will find that many of the stories we tell have at least a little meaning. It¡¯s very improbable, but what is the other option? It didn¡¯t juste out hot.¡±

    ¡°I guess you are right, Sister,¡± the preacher chuckled, ¡°I have to say this is a first.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a first for the town as well,¡± the wise woman replied. ¡°I think we need to keep this little mystery to ourselves. Just make a point of discussing proper ¡®handling procedures¡¯ sometime in the future.¡±

    ¡°I agree with the sister here,¡± the preacher nodded. ¡°Just say you fertilized it,¡± the preacher said to the male. ¡°It often happens in these cases anyhow. Nobody will think twice.¡±

    ¡°Yes, preacher.¡±

    ¡°Mine!¡± Ilnan eximed as she hugged the egg.

    ¡°Yes, Ilnan,¡± her mother said, ¡°That¡¯s your new brother or sister!¡±

    ¡°Mine!¡± Ilnan said happily.

    ***

    A few weekster, the fires were lit, and the tables spread. Everyone was singing, and the drink was flowing.

    People kept arriving and bringing even more food and drink, piling both high.

    The mood was a bit more jubnt than usual, and the crowd was all congratting the young couple and ying with baby Ilnan who ran giggling and squeaking through the throng.

    ¡°Mine!¡± she kept eximing happily, ¡°Mine! Mine! Mine!¡±

    Soon, midnight approached, and everyone looked expectantly at the bank.

    The egg didn¡¯t split. It didn¡¯t peel¡­

    ...It exploded.

    Maybe it was a trick of the light, but a couple of people could have sworn that they saw the baby¡¯s eyes glowing as it crouched in the shadows at the riverside.

    They blinked and looked again but couldn¡¯t get a good look as everyone cheered and started singing.

    A littleter, a thin th wandered up.

    Everyone looked at it expectantly.

    It looked back.

    Ignoring their songs, it went over to the table and started stuffing its face.

    Everyone paused in confusion, and then the wise woman started singing the next song.

    The th looked annoyed and reached for a beer.

    ¡°No!¡± someone said, ¡°Those are not for...¡±

    He backed away and let the baby have the fucking beer.

    ¡°This happens sometimes!¡± the wise woman proimed, ¡°I¡¯ve heard of this with gift eggs!¡±

    She had never heard of this freaky shit in her life!

    Sheloran¡¯s family approached.

    They sang the song of recognition.

    The th whirled and not in a happy way.

    <em>¡°Whaaaat?¡±</em> it hissed as it started moving towards them in a decidedly not friendly way.

    People started backing away.

    ¡°Mine!¡± Ilnan eximed as she sprinted up and hugged the th.

    It paused¡­

    ...and hugged her back, smiling.

    ¡°Ilnan!¡± her sister eximed, ¡°Ilnan!¡±

    ¡°...<em>Sheloran</em>...¡± it whispered

    Her parents,pletely confused, then sang the song of soothing.

    Sheloran looked at them sharply and charged at them, <em>fast</em>, with Ilnan still clinging to her and giggling.

    As the song continued, Sheloran stopped the sprint and stood there, confused.

    Her eyes zed.

    ¡°Name?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Sheloran!¡± Ilnan eximed. ¡°Sheloran! Mine! Sheloran mine!¡± Ilnan eximed with pure joy.

    ¡°Wee, Sheloran!¡± the crowd sang, happy that things were back on script.

    As baby Sheloran gorged at the tables of food and was sessfully kept away from more beer, the wise woman quietly faded into the shadows and then slipped into the woods¡­

    ...where another woman waited.

    ¡°Did you pooping see that?¡± the wise woman whispered.

    ¡°I did, Sister,¡± the other th replied.

    <em>¡°What the poop?¡±</em>

    ¡°It happens rarely,¡± the other th said.

    ¡°Does it actually happen rarely?¡± the wise woman asked.

    ¡°Well, abnormal hatches do anyway,¡± the other th said with a shrug. ¡°It looks like the soothing worked, though.¡±

    ¡±You thought it wouldn¡¯t?!?¡±

    ¡°It happens, rarely,¡± the other th smiled wickedly.

    ¡°When they started the soothe,¡± the wise woman whispered, ¡°I thought it was going to kill them!¡±

    ¡°If it had reached them, it would have.¡±

    <em>¡°What?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± the lean, toned th woman smiled, ¡°It¡¯s just another baby now. It will be fine¡­ probably...¡±

    <em>¡±Probably?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Keep us informed as it grows,¡± the shadowy th said as she faded into the trees.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t going to take it?¡±

    ¡°No reason to cause ripples,¡± the th said as it continued its quiet walk with the wise woman in pursuit. ¡°A strange th justes up and takes a baby? Now that would take all sorts of exining. Just tell them that this sort of odd birth happens with gift eggs every now and again and that everything¡¯s fine. ¡®Sheloran¡¯ was named by her adorable baby sister and will now be a normal kid just like any other one. This whole business will blow over in a week.¡±

    ¡°But she is still going to be here!¡±

    ¡°And you <em>will </em>watch her, and you will keep us informed.¡±

    They locked eyes for a moment before the wise woman looked down.

    ¡°Yes, Sister.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± the other th whispered before she disappeared into the night.

    ***

    Ilnan sat on the porch of her own farm, not far from where she was hatched, and sipped some jeepad tea.

    ¡°What dat?¡± a slender th sitting steps asked, pointing at the cup.

    ¡°It¡¯s tea,¡± Ilnan said as she smiled at her new baby.

    ¡°Tea good?¡±

    ¡°Sometimes.¡±

    ¡°Try! Try!¡±

    ¡°Not this time,¡± she smiled, ¡°This for mommy.¡±

    ¡°K!¡± the child said cheerfully.

    The door opened, and a very handsome th stepped out, holding a beer.

    ¡°Da!¡±

    ¡°Hey there, sprout!¡± the th said as he plopped down next to the kid and wrapped his arm around it.

    ¡°Bee?¡±

    ¡°Only a little,¡± he said, handing the bottle to the baby, who quickly jumped up and started sprinting as they turned up the bottle.

    ¡°You little!¡± the th shouted with augh as it chased down the baby, slinging it over his shoulder.

    ¡°You sit right there,¡± heughed, ¡°while I get another one!¡±

    Ilnan smiled at the pair and then sighed a little.

    Her husband looked at her and then frowned. He knew that look.

    ¡°What are you sitting on?¡±

    ¡°Nothing.¡±

    ¡°Do I have to sling you over my shoulder, too?¡± he smiled gently.

    Ilnan pulled the tablet out from under her dress and handed it over.

    <em>Don¡¯t Mess With the Frog! Harkeen ughtered! Sheloran the th Unleashes Hell From Inside Another One</em>

    Every single picture on the page was blurred.

    The th winced and switched it off.

    ¡°Why do you do this to yourself, Ilnan?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s my sister!¡± she eximed, ¡°I worry about her, you know. Even after everything, after everything she¡¯s done...¡±

    She looked up at the stars.

    ¡°...she¡¯s still mine.¡±

 Chapter 211: Jon Does His Duty

    Chapter 211: Jon Does His Duty

    Some time ago:

    Beth stormed onto the bridge of her ship, followed by an anxious Scales.

    ¡°This is bullshit!¡± Beth shouted.

    ¡°Yes, Beth,¡± Scales said reassuringly as he nervously licked one of his eyes, ¡°but this bullshit will pay off our debt to the Cabal, and we will finally be free and clear.¡±

    ¡°But we¡¯re helping fucking Terrans!¡± Beth snarled, ¡°And not only Terrans¡­ Marine Raiders! Fuck! Scales, do you know what those fuckers did?!?¡±

    ¡°I was sitting right next to you at the time,¡± Scales replied as he started checking various readouts. ¡°It was hard to miss.¡±

    ¡°And now they want us to help them?!?¡± Beth shouted. ¡°I should just open the airlock when we take off!¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t do that,¡± Scales said, hoping she was just humaning again. ¡°May I remind you that there is also a senior Cabal member back there? If we alienate the Cartel to that extent, we will spend the remainder of our much-shortened lifespans hiding in the dirtiest backwaters of the furthest fringes of independent space. I¡¯m not sure which part of that rather dismal future is worse.¡±

    Beth sighed and put her hands on Scale¡¯s shoulders.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to actually space the fuck bunny and her Terran,¡± she sighed, ¡°I¡¯m just ¡®humaning¡¯ again. God! I can¡¯t be-LIEVE that this is happening!¡±

    ¡°These past few years have had many unbelievable urrences,¡± Scales sighed. ¡°For example, if someone told me that I would be the Commander Selfridge¡¯s partner in a criminal enterprise against the Federation, I would have suspected them of eating crack.¡±

    ¡°Smoking crack!¡± Bethughed, ¡°Smoking crack, Scales, smoking!¡±

    Beth sighed.

    ¡°Come on, Scales,¡± she said, ¡°Let¡¯s get this bullshit started.¡±

    ***

    A little whileter.

    Beth, in a t-shirt emzoned with the logo of a rather obscure starport band she favored and sweatpants, lounged on the bridge while Scales, in an oversized floral shirt and shorts, practiced chords on a long string instrument.

    She scooped a spoonful of a green transparent goop from a small disposable tub and put it in her mouth.

    ¡°Another day drifting low, slow, and cold,¡± she said as she looked at a row of screens.

    ¡°Reminds you of the old days?¡± Scales asked with a musical flourish.

    ¡°Kinda,¡± Beth replied as she thoughtfully slurped more gel. ¡°Except for this time, instead of quietly listening, we are lighting up the entire gxy. Does that asshole ever get off of the goddamn transmitter?¡±

    ¡°I believe thatmunicating with various allies within the Republic government is his mission at the moment.¡±

    Beth snorted.

    ¡°I thought we had taken onboard Marines, not politicians,¡± she snarked.

    ¡°You would prefer that we were doingbat insertions?¡± Scales asked as he tuned his instrument.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m notining,¡± Beth replied, ¡°It¡¯s just weird¡­ Hey, let¡¯sy in a new jump. The way that asshole is transmitting, we need to get going soon.¡±

    ¡°Where?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s head over towards the fringe,¡± she replied idly, ¡°and away from the Republic for the next few jumps. It doesn¡¯t look like our ¡®warriors¡¯ are going to be doing anything for a while.¡±

    ¡°Got it,¡± Scales said cheerfully as he pulled up some star charts.

    As he started looking for their next stop, Beth started the prejump diagnostics. Shortly thereafter, there was a quiet ¡°beep,¡± and an amber-colored message appeared on one of the screens.

    It came from the engine room.

    Scales sighed and started to get up.

    ¡°Keep working on the jump,¡± Beth said as she stood.

    ¡°But, Beth,¡± Scales said cautiously, ¡°The engine room is¡­ um¡­ back there...¡±

    ¡°This is my ship!¡± Beth snapped, ¡°Not theirs!¡±

    ¡°Just don¡¯t start anything,¡± Scales implored, ¡°Please.¡±

    ***

    A bitter¡­

    The door to the cargo hatch opened, and Beth walked in with a tablet and a scanner.

    Without a word, she proceeded to the cargo hatch and started taking readings.

    The marines made a point of ignoring her.

    ***

    Later still¡­

    ¡°What the fuck were we supposed to do?!?¡± Beth shouted at a marine, ¡°Starve?!?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± the marine yelled back, ¡°maybe nt something?¡±

    ¡°Oh, nt something!¡± Beth replied, ¡°Why didn¡¯t we think of that! We should have just gotten some seeds from the <em>seed store</em> and <em>scattered them across the deck tes!!!</em> It doesn¡¯t work that way, shithead!¡±

    ¡°Maybe instead of grabbing babies, you could have picked up some dirt on one of your raids, Porkie!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t think that we tried?!?¡± Beth yelled, her tiny body shaking with rage. ¡±And we NEVER grabbed babies, you FUCK!¡±

    ¡°Beth,¡± Scales said as he gently tried to grasp her shoulder, ¡°maybe we should go back to the bridge?...¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Toby said as he firmly guided the marine away. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±

    ***

    Eventer¡­

    Beth lounged on the bridge in yet another band t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants stained with barbecue sauce.

    Scales wandered blearily in.

    ¡°Did you even sleep?¡± Bethughed.

    ¡°I was¡­ distracted...¡± Scales said with a sheepish smile.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to watch all that porn at once,¡± she grinned, ¡°It¡¯s not like it¡¯s going to go stale.¡±

    ¡°Did you know that I can purchase a ¡®porn star experience¡¯ on Terra?¡± Scales said with wide eyes.

    ¡°I believe you have mentioned it once or twice,¡± Beth grinned.

    She held up an empty Bix Burgers box.

    ¡°Have you freaking tried these!¡± she eximed. ¡°They are amazing! I saved you one!¡±

    She handed him a Bix Burger.

    He took a cautious little bite.

    ¡°I think,¡± he said, ¡°I think it is designed more for a human pte than mine.¡±

    ¡°I was hoping you were going to say that!¡± Beth said as she snatched it from him.

    ¡°I thought I would never say this,¡± she said as she sunk her teeth into the slightly squeaky bun, ¡°but God bless She.¡±

    ¡°How much of that Johnson¡¯s have you consumed?¡±

    ***

    A bitter¡­

    ¡°Hey, piglet,¡± a marine said as he passed Beth in a corridor.

    ¡°Fuck you, grub,¡± Beth replied casually as she flipped him off.

    ***

    Just the other day...

    ¡°Hey, Toby,¡± Beth said as she walked up.

    ¡°Beth,¡± Toby said with a little shake of his eyestalks.

    ¡°You have any AN-290 in your gear?¡± she asked, ¡°I have a frozen valve back there, and I¡¯m trying to salvage it.¡±

    ¡°I should,¡± Toby replied as he rummaged through a box. ¡°Ah, here it is.¡±

    He handed Beth a bottle of a strange-looking opalescent glittery substance.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Beth replied, ¡°I¡¯ll bring it right back.¡±

    ***

    Today¡­

    Jon sat in the cargo hold with his men in the hold around a portable table holding a pipe.

    He drew heavily on the pipe and passed it to the marine next to him.

    He exhaled.

    ¡°So are we actually going to rat out She?¡± one of the marines asked.

    ¡°We should probably have this conversation at another time,¡± Jon replied with azy smile.

    ¡°Like you would talk about it at another time,¡± another chuckled. ¡°Look, Colonel, we¡¯ve been talking and...¡±

    The marines all looked over at Toby meaningfully.

    ¡°We would like to remind you that we said that we would follow you anywhere,¡± Toby said, ¡°and that we have all agreed that included mutiny and treason. If you feel that you cannot follow the rather dubious order you have been given, please do not concern yourself about us.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t that simple,¡± Jon replied, ¡°and thank you for ruining a perfectly good buzz, by the way. For one thing...¡±

    The cargo bay opened, revealing Beth wearing firefighting gear.

    ¡°I¡¯ve detected smoke!¡± she eximed as she ran up, holding an extinguisher.

    The groupughed as she flipped up the face shield and grabbed the pipe.

    ¡°Watching you grubs trying to think is so cute, you know that?¡± she said around a cloud of smoke as she handed the pipe back.

    ¡°Here¡¯s what you do,¡± she said to Jon, ¡°You follow your fucking orders.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not even going to ask how you know about that,¡± Jon replied, ¡°But those orders, while nominallywful, are only so because the person issuing them made themwful, which brings the whole issu¡ª¡°

    ¡°You guys might be great <em>warriors</em>,¡± Beth said sardonically, ¡°but you are shit criminals. In this business, nobody tries to lie to She, especially over thes.¡±

    Beth stole the pipe again.

    ¡°(exhale)¡­ You wanna know why?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because of Jessie,¡± Beth smirked, ¡°and that nightmare AI she built. If it¡¯s on the feed, I guarantee that if you lie, no matter how good you think you are at it, the AI will catch it. It has been tried before, repeatedly.¡±

    She stole the pipe again¡­ and they let her.

    ¡°So it doesn¡¯t matter whether the order is wful¡¯ or ¡®uwful¡¯ or whatever¡­ You are guaranteed to fail the mission.¡±

    ¡°Are you sure about that?¡± Jon asked.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t trust me,¡± Beth smiled, ¡°You can always ask Logan.¡±

    ¡°Logan?¡±

    ¡°You are really bad at this, aren¡¯t you,¡± Beth smirked, ¡°He¡¯s one of the many bodies floating in space thanks to those assholes. That¡¯s usually what happens to people who try to screw them over.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s hardly reassuring.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯mfortable with that,¡± Beth replied as she hit the pipe again. ¡°Just don¡¯t agree to meet them in a private ce afterwards, and you¡¯ll probably be ok¡­ probably.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, Beth,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I owe you one.¡±

    Beth grabbed their stash.

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t,¡± she smiled and trotted off.

    ***

    ¡°So you need more medical supplies?¡± She said to Jon¡¯s smiling face disyed on her bridge.

    ¡°We n to strike soon and want a little more depth.¡±

    A small rabbit with the word ¡°lie¡± on it hopped across the disy.

    She nodded.

    ¡°It has been a while since we have done a resupply for you guys, anyhow,¡± She replied.

    (They should still have plenty. The Paper Tiger dropped off a LOT of pallets.)

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jon replied, ¡°we are low on rations.¡±

    A rabbit belly danced across the screen, holding ¡°LIE¡± on a poster above its head.

    ¡°I trust you, Jon,¡± She said, ¡°But you are still government, so I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that this isn¡¯t a trap.¡±

    ¡°It really upsets me that you suspect that,¡± Jon replied.

    A rabbit in a trench coat dashed onto the screen, ripped open the coat to reveal the word ¡°LIE¡± dangling between its legs, and dashed off.

    She smiled.

    ¡°Well, good enough for me,¡± She replied. ¡°I have something I have to take care of right now, but I¡¯ll get in touchter today.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, She,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I look forward to hearing from you again.¡±

    A rabbit wearing a cape and top hat appeared, removed the hat, reached in, and pulled out the word ¡°LIE¡±.

    ¡°Take care of yourself, Jon,¡± She smiled.

    ¡°You too, She.¡±

    ***

    As the transmission ended, Scales looked over at Beth.

    ¡°That was awfully decent of you,¡± he said suspiciously, ¡°what¡¯s the catch?¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± Beth shrugged, ¡°Didn¡¯t cost me anything.¡±

    ¡°Who are you, and what did you do with Beth?¡±

    ¡°Did you really want whoever sent that order chasing Jon while we are carrying him?¡± Beth asked, ¡°If he went and did a stupid, we would be right there in the stupid with him.¡±

    She pulled out a recently acquired bag and a rolling paper.

    ¡°Besides,¡± she smiled, ¡°Jon¡¯s¡­ alright. So are his guys.¡±

    ¡°Seriously,¡± Scales replied, ¡°Where¡¯s Beth?¡±

 Chapter 212: New Plath. Who dis?

    Chapter 212: New th. Who dis?

    Mark Guilderan sat at his desk with his head in his hands, feeling as old as he actually was.

    The biggest diplomatic ¡°victory¡± in his whole life, an actual nonaggression pact with the motherfucking Kalent, and thus the entire Federation, AND a possible, vitally needed real technology exchange with them¡­

    ...gone¡­

    For the millionth time since it happened, he desperately wished that Tak (and his people) were back.

    For a handful of credits that he didn¡¯t even really need and power that he only needed to make more credits that he didn¡¯t need, he sold out a lifetime friend, mentor, and ally. Oh sure, the ¡°reason¡± was that Takcked the¡­ (ugh)¡­ resolve needed to do what was necessary during the war with the Bug, but that wasn¡¯t the real motivation, at least for him.

    He sighed.

    If Tak was still in charge, none of this would have ever happened.

    He reached into his desk, pulled a small nasal spray bottle, ced the tip into a nostril, and sent a very subtle and expensive designer drug into his sinuses.

    A momentter, he sighed with relief as all stress, anxiety, and fatigue magically disappeared, reced with enhanced focus and calm.

    <em>Best to make the first move,</em> he thought as he clicked on his phone directory and selected a new contact simplybeled ¡°Kalent¡±.

    As the hyperspatial link was established, he took a deep breath as the drugs fully took hold. As far as any observer or any AI was concerned, he was the perfect picture ofposure and calm.

    ¡°Hello?¡± a concerningly ¡°normal¡± Kalent voice (and image) answered, ¡°Where did you get this address?¡±

    ¡°Greetings,¡± Mark replied, ¡°This is Mark Guilderan, the Republic Secretary of State.¡±

    ¡°Creators!¡± the voice replied. ¡°Um¡­ Hello! I¡¯m honored by the call, but I¡¯m not sure if I¡¯m who you wish to speak to.¡±

    <em>Fuck,</em> Mark thought behind a facade of calm professionalism. This wasn¡¯t good.

    ¡°Perhaps you could get me in contact with the proper individual then,¡± Mark said smoothly, ¡°I was given this contact address by an¡­ individual¡­ with whom I had been conversing¡­ and negotiating¡­ and I wish very much to speak with him.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know exactly what you are talking about,¡± the Kalent nervously replied, ¡°but I¡¯m happy to try. Who¡­ who exactly are you trying to reach?¡±

    Mark smiled pleasantly as he screamed inside.

    ¡°I never got an exact name,¡± he smiled, ¡°but he was¡­ not of your exact species. He was¡­rger.¡±

    ¡°A non-Kalent gave you this number?¡±

    ¡°No, he was Kalent,¡± Mark replied, ¡°but he was not your specific species. I believe the other Kalent, the ones like you, referred to him as a ¡®Lord¡¯.¡±

    ¡°A Lord?¡± the Kalent replied, the perfect picture of piscine confusion. ¡°We are an egalitarian society. We have no ¡®lords¡¯ of any species.¡±

    ¡°Shall we dispense with the games?¡± Mark asked with a thin smile, ¡°I am aware of the fact that there are multiple sapient species on your, and I was in negotiations with a muchrger species from your deep ocean concerning many things, including the th. I need to speak with that individual urgently.¡±

    ¡°The¡­ th?¡­ Who or what are they?¡±

    ¡°Some creatures who are about to get very angry very soon, and I think we need to have a little conversation about that before the shit hits the fan.¡±

    The Kalent giggled, sending little bubbles cascading upwards.

    ¡°I love it!¡± it burbled, ¡°Is that one of your delightful Human idioms?¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± Mark replied, ¡°it refers to a situation resembling the aftermath of excreting solid waste directly into a rapidly spinning device in the room we all upy. I strongly suggest that you get me in touch with the individual with whom I was speaking immediately.¡±

    ¡°I just love Human idioms,¡± the Kalent smiled, ¡°Do you know which one is my favorite?¡±

    ¡°Please enlighten me.¡±

    ¡°New phone. Who dis?¡±

    The line went dead.

    ¡°Fuck.¡± Mark sighed as he opened his contact list once more¡­

    ***

    Across the gxy, an ancient abyssal horror chuckled and switched off the virtual avatar it just used to answer his personal line.

    ¡°New phone, Who dis?¡± it chuckled into the inky ckness surrounding it as distant voices crooned with amusement. ¡°They were an amusing race. I shall miss them.¡±

    This triggered quite the debate across the distant and alien ocean depths for a few hours.

    Eventually, consensus was reached. The Humans were indeed amusing. They were even interesting to the point of being quite intriguing¡­

    ¡­ However, they would definitely not be missed.

    After that debate was settled, the consensus shifted its attention to one Abyssal Lord in particr.

    She growled as she reminded the consensus that there was a reason why they sought full consensus before starting ¡®certain endeavors¡¯ and then spent another full hour singing a ratherplex, beautiful, and expletivedenposition calling out multiple individuals by name to the apuse of the consensus as a whole¡­

    ¡­ including most of the individuals she had just roasted as only a four-thousand-year-old eldritch horror can.

    As the apuse and aquatic calls for ¡®burn ointment¡¯ (and several mating proposals) died away, she sighed with satisfaction and then started making the day-long swim it would take for her to reach herir containing her own personalmunication device.

    She smiled as she swam. Despite the rather¡­ unfortunate¡­ circumstances, she always enjoyed thepany of the th she would have to call.

    He was delightfulpany.

    ***

    Back on Terra, a very brightly colored Baleel undted happily across the parking lot of The Drop of Oil.

    Today was another great day!

    ¡°CRAXI!!!¡± The Great Sheloran bellowed, its giant face frowning with disapproval, ¡°PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!! I SWEAR TO POOP!!!¡±

    She giggled. She loved it when The Great Sheloran yelled at them. She hoped that the real Sheloran would let them keep it when she came back.

    She wasing back! Craxi just made the announcement, and the news was spreading much faster than Gaballelel could run, but she just HAD to tell someone.

    She wasn¡¯t the fastest being and far from the smartest, but she could ¡°feel¡± the news rippling through the Drop, the happy little sparkles and whispered conversations that were spreading just like how a drop of lubricant makes pretty shimmers in a puddle.

    Hey! That¡¯s just like the name of this ce! How cool is that? she thought to herself!

    Anyway, she could feel the ripples spreading across the tents through her foot, but they weren¡¯t heading out towards the vendor stalls or the coffee shop yet!

    Giggling happily, she ¡°ran¡± to the coffee shop.

    She was going to be able to ¡°spray the slime,¡± after all!

    ***

    ¡°I just don¡¯t get it!¡± a xeno resembling a long fuzzy millipede moaned. ¡°Fractions are hard!¡±

    She flopped her head down against the counter of the coffee shop in dismay.

    ¡°If I can¡¯t even get this, how am I ever going to be able to pass that reekball test?¡± she wailed. ¡°I¡¯m just so stu¡ª¡°

    She pped two forelegs over her mouth as she looked up at Charlotte with a strangled yelp.

    Charlotte ¡°smiled¡± and put the slender length of flexible wood that she had just snatched from behind the counter back down.

    ¡°Ignorant!¡± the millipede yelped! ¡°Ignorant! Not stupid!¡±

    ¡°You were able to learn that, at least,¡± Charlotte chuckled. ¡°Don¡¯t despair, little sister,¡± she said as she poured a cup of coffee. ¡°These first steps can be the hardest you ever take. Right now, you are digging the foundation with your bare ws. You are chewing your first tools with tender lips unused to the taste of stone and the tang of metal. In order to craft your first knife, your mouth must bleed. These fractions are part of that first knife. Just chew and bleed, sister. Just chew and bleed.¡±

    The man-sized furry millipede just sighed.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I have much mouth left, Charlotte.¡±

    ¡°Have you made your shapes, little one?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m still cutting them out...¡±

    ¡°Then why are you crying to me when you haven¡¯t even bothered to carve out your basic shapes and partition them into the base ratios?¡± Charlotte chided. ¡°Go and carve circles and then divide them into halves again and again and feel the sacred ratios. Rub them over your body. Put them in your mouth and taste their perfection. Hold fractions in your hand and admire their beauty. Then, recite your multiplication and division tables. Fractions are just another way of expressing the holy basic operations. Those basic operations are the foundation of mathematics. You must master them.¡±

    The millipede looked downcast.

    Charlotte smiled and gently touched her with one of her ws.

    ¡°Neeph,¡± she said warmly, ¡°you are much smarter than you believe. You excel at puzzles and problem solving and your questions and arguments, even the petnt ones, are sound. You have more than enough to lock jaws with these annoying humans¡­ no offense,¡± she said to a regr.

    ¡°None taken,¡± the human chuckled, ¡°we¡¯re assholes.¡±

    ¡°You have more than enough to lock jaws with these assholes,¡± Charlotte smiled, ¡°and wrest thatid test from their soft little graspers and much more besides.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°Yes, really,¡± Charlotte hissed, ¡°However, as smart as you are, you have a weakness, and that weakness is rote memorization. You are just going to have to drill these basic facts into yourself, carve them into your flesh, into your soul, until they are as much a part of you as your love of spaghetti. It will be tedious and unpleasant, and you may linger with little visible progress for longer, perhaps much longer, than some of your sisters, but you will grow, and as you feed yourself, you will develop and transform into your next form. As long as you fight, as long as you strive, as long as you refuse to die, your next transformation is assured.¡±

    She gently guided Neeph¡¯s head upwards.

    ¡°It¡¯s not a pleasant answer or an easy one,¡± Charlotte smiled, ¡°but it is a guaranteed one. Keep at it. As long as you follow my trail, I shall never abandon you.¡±

    Neeph¡¯s eyes flickered in a ¡°smile¡±.

    ¡°Now take your te and copy the tables one hundred times and return,¡± Charlotte hissed gently. ¡°I will answer your questions then.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, big sis,¡± Neeph smiled.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Gaballelel said brightly as she oozed up onto a stool and partway onto the counter. ¡°You guys will never guess what!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Neeph asked.

    ¡°Sheloran ising back!!!¡± Gaballelel squealed, unable to contain herself any longer. ¡°She just got off the phone with Craxi! She¡¯s going toe back!!!¡±

    ¡°Ah, the infamous Sheloran,¡± Charlotte said with amusement. ¡°So she did ¡®beat the rap¡¯ after all. I look forward to meeting her.¡±

    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s really nice!¡± Gaballelel bubbled happily. ¡°And she¡¯s so funny, especially when she yells at Craxi!¡±

    Neeph sighed.

    ¡°I just¡­¡± she said quietly, ¡°I just hope, you know¡­ nothing changes when shees back.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Gaballelel asked in surprise.

    ¡°I mean...¡± Neeph replied, ¡°Things have been good with Miss Craxina in charge. Nobody would hire me¡­ for anything before Miss Craxina.¡±

    Neeph looked downward again.

    ¡°Will Sheloran even want something like me around?¡±

    ¡°She let me work here!¡± Gaballelel burbled, ¡°And look at me!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but you are really popr and have tons of clients,¡± Neeph replied, ¡°I barely get anybody, even here. I¡­ I...¡±

    ¡°Neeph?¡± Gaballelel asked as sheid a slightly gooey tendril on Neeph. ¡°What¡¯s wrong.¡±

    ¡°I eat more than I make this ce,¡± Neeph said quietly, ¡°and that¡¯s not counting the fact that I live here too...¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Gaballelel said, giving her a gentle shake, ¡°Sheloran let mee here before I had all of those regrs! I was just some desperate no-name slug that wandered in. You have nothing to worry about, Neeph. Sheloran¡¯s¡­¡±

    Gaballelel paused as she searched her walnut-sized brain.

    ¡±...special,¡± she said after a moment. ¡°I can¡¯t exin it, but she is. Don¡¯t worry about a thing, Neeph.¡±

    ¡°o¡­ okay...¡±

    ¡°And the reason why you aren¡¯t getting any work,¡± Gaballelel giggled as she gave Neeph a little shake, ¡°is because you just sit there like a sad little lump waiting for someone to walk up and whip it out! You got to go out there, walk up to the customers, and drag them into your tent, girl!¡±

    ¡°Oh, I couldn¡¯t do that!¡± Neeph eximed. ¡°It would be too forward.¡±

    ¡°Neeph!¡± Gaballelel eximed, ¡°You¡¯re a whore! ¡®Forward¡¯ is part of the job description! If they are on the lot and not shopping at vendor stalls, they are fair game! Just walk on up and ask them if they are down! Tell them what you do and what you charge!¡±

    Neeph squeaked ufortably.

    ¡°You do want to be a whore, right?¡± Gaballelel asked, ¡°I mean if you don¡¯t then Craxi could probably find something...¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Neeph eximed, ¡°I want to, I really do¡­ It¡¯s just that...¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t¡­ my people don¡¯t, I mean¡­ we don¡¯t¡­ do that sort of thing.¡±

    ¡°Suck dick?¡±

    ¡°Well, that too,¡± Neeph replied, ¡°but that isn¡¯t that big of a deal. Prostitution isn¡¯t taboo or anything. It¡¯s a job like any other where I¡¯m from.¡±

    ¡°Then what¡¯s the problem?¡± Gaballelel asked, as confused as she usually was.

    ¡°The¡­ forwardness...¡± Neeph squeaked. ¡°You just don¡¯t¡­ walk up to someone you don¡¯t know and¡­ and...¡±

    ¡°Ask them if they want their dick sucked?¡±

    Neeph squeaked and nodded silently.

    ¡°Ok!¡± Gaballelel said. ¡°I know what to do!¡±

    ¡°You do?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± she said as she nudged Neeph yfully. ¡°Stick with me, and I¡¯ll get you some jobs!¡±

    ¡°You will?!?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± Gaballelel eximed happily. ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Miss Gaballelel!¡±

    ¡°Just call me Gaballelel or even just Gabby, like the humans do!¡±

    ¡°Okay, Gabby,¡± Neeph smiled.

    They all paused as a neer approached the bar.

    Something about him just didn¡¯t ¡°fit¡±.

    ¡°Good afternoon,¡± Charlotte said, smiling her ¡°customer-friendly¡± friendly smile. ¡°Can I help you?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps you can,¡± the well-dressed human male replied as he pulled out arge business card with a picture of a very pretty Garthra wearing a tattered and stained human t-shirt.

    ¡°Have you seen this¡­¡±

    The man looked at the back of the card.

    ¡°...this Garthra? Her name is Maaatisha,¡± he said pleasantly. ¡°She may be in a bit of trouble, and there is someone back home who is worried about her.¡±

    ¡°Never seen her before,¡± Charlotte said evenly. ¡°Can I get you something, maybe a cappino?¡±

    ¡°How about you guys?¡± the man said pleasantly.

    ¡°They haven¡¯t seen her either,¡± Charlotte replied, moving directly in front of the man. ¡°This is a business, and you¡¯re taking up valuable counter space. Either buy something or leave¡­ now.¡±

    Charlotte smiled her real smile making the man to take a step back.

    ¡°And I¡¯d appreciate it if you didn¡¯t hassle the workers, either,¡± Charlotte said pleasantly. ¡°They are trying to make themselves avable to paying customers, and I don¡¯t think they will appreciate missing out on a job because you are bothering them.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not trying to bother anyone,¡± the man said smoothly, ¡°and I really could use an espresso.¡±

    He slid a prepaid card with the number ¡°20¡± disyed on its e-ink surface across the bar.

    ¡°Keep the change,¡± he smiled.

    Charlotte ran the card through the transactor and handed it back to him with an unpleasant hiss before turning to the espresso maker.

    As she worked, the man surveyed the bar.

    He looked at Neeph and smiled.

    ¡°Have you seen this Garthra?¡± he asked, showing her the card.

    ¡°Nope!¡± Neeph replied, ¡°There aren¡¯t too many of them around here. I guess you could maybe ask¡ª¡°

    Gaballelel wrapped a tendril firmly around some of Neeph¡¯s fur and gave it a bit of a tug.

    ¡°We haven¡¯t seen her,¡± Gaballelel said with a very uncharacteristic nasty tone. ¡°Sorry.¡±

    ¡°Look,¡± the man said pleasantly, ¡°Maaatisha¡¯s in trouble, big trouble, and there is someone back home who wants to help her.¡±

    ¡°Mmm Hmm,¡± Gaballelel replied, ¡°There is just some magical benefactor back home who has decided to hire someone to track down some little nobody waaaaay over here in the Republic, huh?¡±

    ¡°Exactly,¡± the man replied as he pulled out another business card, ¡°Roy Singh, private detective. You can check my reviews. I¡¯m not a Federation bounty hunter, and the sort of person who can hire me isn¡¯t some lowlife.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t your average lowlife, you mean,¡± Gaballelel replied, ¡°You aren¡¯t the first ¡®detective¡¯ who hase through here looking for someone ¡®in trouble,¡¯ and they almost always are either government or worse. Beat it.¡±

    ¡°Maaatisha got in deep with the Harkeen, and they were going to force her to ¡®work¡¯ for them,¡± the man said with an earnest expression on his face, ¡°and then ¡®the new boss¡¯ acquired her contract and was going to put her on the street. Considering who ¡®the new boss¡¯ is around here, I thought I would¡ª¡°

    ¡°Oh, why didn¡¯t you say so!¡± a rather scruffy-looking avian at a nearby table eximed.

    ¡°You know something?¡± the man asked.

    ¡°Well, not for free,¡± the avian replied smoothly.

    The man handed him a cash card.

    The avian looked at it.

    ¡°Seriously?¡±

    He was handed another one.

    The avian looked at it and clicked its beak.

    ¡°Just go over to that little portable shed thing and ask to talk to Craxina,¡± the avian said in a friendly voice. ¡°and tell her that you are interested in buying one of the ¡®special¡¯ girls.¡±

    Everyone at the bar smirked.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± the man said as he finished his espresso, smiled at the bar, and walked,pletely oblivious to what would happen next, towards Craxina¡¯s office¡­

    ¡°Vxxixx!¡± Gaballelel giggled, ¡°You are so bad!!!¡±

    The avian handed the card to Charlotte.

    ¡°For school supplies,¡± he snickered.

    They all then turned and watched the detective knock on Craxina¡¯s door as Vxxixx ced an urgent order for a zip cab pickup¡­

    ***

    Quite some timeter¡­

    A very shaken Roy Singh sighed as he was being walked to the street by the single most terrifying man he had ever encountered.

    ¡°Please convey my regrets to Ms. Craxina once again,¡± Roy said as he stroked arge dynagel bandage covering half of his face. ¡°I cannot apologize enough for my horribly wrong presumptions and unforgivable usations.¡±

    The monster just smiled, revealing those teeth.

    ¡°Think nothing of it,¡± Bryce chuckled. ¡°It was a very nasty prank that a certain feather duster yed upon you that led you into a very hazardous position. I think we would all be happiest if we just put this whole thing behind us.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for your understanding,¡± Roy said with a professional voice that only quivered slightly. Seriously, what the FUCK was that guy?

    ¡°And in exchange for yours,¡± Bryce said in a terrifyingly friendly way, ¡°since we have verified your employer and your story, we will make inquiries on your behalf, and should we find her, we will get her in touch with you.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Roy said as a cab pulled up.

    He calmly entered the cab and closed the door behind him.

    Once safely away from that terrible ce, Roy flopped back in the seat and let out a long ragged sigh.

    His mom was right. He should have gone into IT.

 Chapter 213: Apex Predator

    Chapter 213: Apex Predator

    ¡°Not bad,¡± Doreen smiled.

    ¡°Reeely?!?¡± Jeruzz eximed,pletely shocked. ¡°I did ith righth?¡±

    Doreen carefully examined the beautifully stained and polished rifle stock.

    ¡°You might be a menace with a power tool,¡± Doreen said, ¡°But you are an artist with a rag.¡±

    She gave him a headpat, filling Jeruzz with joy.

    ¡°Maybe tomorrow I¡¯ll trust you with a piece of sandpaper,¡± sheughed.

    ¡°Do you havf another sthock for mee?¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± Doreen replied. ¡°I¡¯m calling it a day. We¡¯ve finished this one, and I don¡¯t feel like starting a new project.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Jeruzz replied, slightly disappointed. He had been having fun.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna head into town for a bit,¡± Doreen said as she started putting away her tools. ¡°get some coffee, grab some groceries, that sort of thing,¡± she said. ¡°Want toe along?¡±

    Jeruzz thought about it a little.

    ¡°Ith¡¯s a reely nice day,¡± he said. ¡°I think I¡¯ll go down to the river and look for prethy rockths.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Doreen shrugged, ¡°Have fun.¡±

    ***

    Jeruzz, a small bucket sitting beside him, waved goodbye as Doreen drove her old electric truck down the gravel path leading away from her cabin.

    He sighed happily as he bathed in the warm sunlight.

    He loved it here¡­

    ¡­and he was learning so much!¡­ And helping!¡­ Actually helping!¡­

    Doreen said so!¡­

    ...And he believed her!

    He was getting really good at staining wood and oiling metal and polishing stuff!

    He loved polishing! It was so much fun! He could spend all day polishing!

    Doreen said that he really helped with the ¡®grunt work¡¯. He wasn¡¯t exactly sure what a grunt was, but he was happy to work it!

    The best part was that Doreen was already talking about keeping him around after his disability!

    She actually wanted him! He couldn¡¯t believe it! She wasn¡¯t feeling sorry for him because Doreen didn¡¯t feel sorry for anybody! She said so!

    She actually said it!

    Feeling warm and happy inside, Jeruzz picked up his rock pail with his mouth and, head held high, started slithering towards the river.

    He was going to find the perfect rock and make a present for Doreen!

    She was going to be so happy!

    ***

    ¡°So how¡¯s that xeno working out,¡± Vaughn asked her as he poured her a cup of coffee at the cafe he and his granddaughter ran.

    ¡°Jeruzz?¡± Doreen asked, ¡°A slithering disaster area, that one! But I like him. He¡¯s a good guy.¡±

    ¡°Is it true he looks just like a snake?¡± Holly asked.

    ¡°Yep,¡± Doreen replied. ¡°Looks just like a green python with a big head¡­ pity it isn¡¯t just a little bigger,¡± she added with augh.

    Doreen chuckled as she sipped her coffee.

    ¡°Neat!¡± Holly eximed.

    ¡°They say he has a long tongue with dozens of forks that he uses as a hand,¡± Doreen said, ¡°but it got ripped out, so I haven¡¯t seen that yet. They say it grows back.¡±

    ¡°Exactly how long is it?¡± Holly asked wickedly.

    ¡°Holly!¡± Doreen and Vaughn shouted in unison as Hollyughed.

    ¡°I was just wondering how good his reach was, that¡¯s all,¡± she said, feigning innocence.

    ¡°If he can¡¯t keep it in his damn head, it doesn¡¯t matter how long his ¡®reach¡¯ is,¡± Doreen smirked.

    They all looked up as a local couple walked in and cheerfully greeted them.

    ¡°Seen any eagles yet?¡± Vaughn asked as Holly took the local couple¡¯s order.

    ¡°Eagles?¡± Doreen asked.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Vaughn replied, ¡°They released some golden eagles from ska in the areast week. Ollie said he saw a big one, and he¡¯s just down the river from you.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t seen it yet,¡± Doreen said as she took another sip, ¡°Looking forward to it, though.¡±

    She smiled¡­

    ¡­ then she stopped smiling.

    ¡°Oh shit!¡± she eximed and sprinted for the door.

    ***

    Humming happily, Jeruzz slithered along the river, sometimes on the bank, sometimes swimming.

    ¡°Prethy rockths,¡± he sang happily, ¡°Prethy rockths¡­¡±

    He loved river-worn stones.

    He examined one carefully, admiring its smooth surface. It was good, but not good enough for Doreen. He needed the perfect one.

    ¡°An agathe?¡± he asked aloud.

    It was!

    Burbling happily, he snapped it up and dropped it into the bucket.

    He admired his treasures, four nice jaspers and now an agate! They were really nice but what he needed was a nice smooth dark river rock as perfectly round and t as he could find.

    Spying a promising area, he slithered on.

    ***

    High above, an eagle soared.

    It was annoyed. Those troublesome tall ones had shoved it in a strange thing he couldn¡¯t escape, and now he was here, far from home, and not terribly happy about it.

    However, there were more of his kind, but not too many, and prey abounded.

    He was starting to think that it wasn¡¯t so bad around here.

    His eyes saw movement near the river below, a nice plump-looking snake, a big one too!

    He could go for some snake right about now.

    With a feral joy starting to build, he began his dive¡­

    ***

    Jeruzz set down his pail and gasped.

    He found his rock!

    Extending his neck, he reached for it¡­

    ***

    The ground rushed up, as it always did, as the eagle picked the perfect angle for attack, as he always did¡­

    The snake was unaware of his approach like they always were.

    He pulled up just before he hit the ground and leveled out just before the target like he always did¡­

    ...He extended his talons, aiming for just behind the head, just like he always did¡­

    ...The snake let out a strange scream as it tried to dodge. That was unusual, but it was toote. The eagle¡¯s talons struck the gravel just beside it, but with a quick and well-practiced movement, they closed tightly around the screaming snake¡¯s throat¡­

    ...just like they always did¡­

    ...The eagle opened his beak and leaned for the first rending bite¡­

    ¡­just like he always did¡­

    There was a blur of movement above and behind him!

    He started to turn his head as his world exploded in pain. The golden eagle turned and looked, uprehendingly, as arge rock held by the snake¡¯s tail swung downward again.

    He tried to leap away only to feel a stinging pain at his throat. He tried to tear at the snake, but he was suddenly unable to move as the snake wrapped around it time and time again.

    The eagle screamed with fear and outrage as he fell, helpless, to the stones¡­

    ...as a Keth took its prey¡­

    ...as they always did¡­

    After the killbrb, their mortal enemy, stopped moving, the Keth let out a long satisfied hiss of satisfaction as it unwound a few of its coils and grabbed another rock. It smashed it a few times in the head just to be sure and then fully uncoiled itself.

    It stretched back and forth a few times. It hurt. It let out a low hiss as it pondered things.

    It wasn¡¯t hurt too bad. A nice meal, a little mud, and it wouldn¡¯t be a concern.

    It unhinged its jaws appraisingly.

    It wouldn¡¯t fit.

    Also, not a concern.

    It reached for a good heavy stone¡­

    ***

    ¡°Jeruzz!¡± Doreen yelled as she ran towards the river.

    Thwack

    Sprinting towards the strange wet sound, she froze in terror as she saw an eagle hunched over a bright¡­ green¡­ snake¡­

    Then she saw Jeruzz¡¯s head wrapped around arge rock rise up, which he mmed down upon the eagle with a...

    Thwack

    ¡°Jeruzz!¡± she yelled as she ran towards him.

    Jeruzz let out an angry hiss.

    ¡°Mine!¡± he hissed.

    Doreen looked down at the mangled bird of prey.

    She drew her knife.

    ¡°You know what this is, or are you too far gone?¡±

    ¡°...Knifeth...¡±

    ¡°Would you like to borrow it?¡±

    ¡°...Yesth pleaseth...¡±

    ***

    Jeruzz awoke in his bed, sore from head to tail.

    He looked down at his still grossly distended body.

    <em>What the heck did I eat this time?</em> he wondered as he tried to piece together exactly what the heck happened.

    He did a little snek shrug.

    There was an ufortable tugging sensation near his head. He tried to reach it with his tail, but he was too stuffed.

    It didn¡¯t matter, he thought. He was just too happy and full to care.

    Whatever was in his belly was nice, and he felt nice.

    With a smile, he closed his eyes.

    ***

    <em>Several</em> dayster, Jeruzz slithered blearily into the shop. ¡°The mighty hunter approaches!¡± Doreen chuckled as she looked up from her drill press.

    ¡°Hi,¡± Jeruzz replied sheepishly. ¡°How long?¡±

    ¡°One week, three days,¡± Doreen replied as she carefully drilled a part. ¡°You were really stuffed.¡±

    ¡°What¡­ what was it?¡± Jeruzz asked, still a bit groggy.

    ¡°You are NOT going to believe this!¡± Doreen grinned¡­

    ***

    Jeruzz let out a long squeak.

    ¡°I ath one of thoseth?!?¡± he squealed as he looked at a life-sized hologram.

    ¡°I watched you do it,¡± Doreenughed. ¡°You were smashing it with a rock trying to make a bird Slurpee when I walked up, so I lent you my knife. You then hacked it into chunks and gulped them down, even the wings.¡±

    Jeruzz just sat there, jaw open.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure if you could get it all down, but you did, even the beak!¡±

    ¡°...How?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh, they cut up pretty easy,¡± Doreen grinned. ¡°As far as how you managed to kill it goes, I have no idea. Oh, don¡¯t worry about the Department of Wildlife. This was clearly self-defense. They also already scanned the RFID, which you wouldn¡¯t let me take, by the way, so when it¡­ shows up¡­ you can just flush it. Don¡¯t worry, they¡¯re non-toxic.¡±

    Jeruzz just sat there, jaw agape.

    ¡°How?...¡±

    ¡°You tell me,¡± Doreen shrugged, ¡°Hey, you look a little groggy. You sure you are good to work? The gun on the table is worth a good fifteen grand, and I don¡¯t want you fucking it up.¡±

    ¡°If ith¡¯s okay,¡± Jeruzz said after a moment, ¡°I¡¯d like tho hang outh on the porch a bith.¡±

    ¡°Suit yourself.¡±

 Chapter 214: The Last Flight of the Heretic

    Chapter 214: The Last Flight of the Heretic

    Slowly fading away, what remained of the Heretic shot through the timeless void. "Time" worked very differently where she was traveling, and she nowcked mass, which made time even less relevant.

    Still¡­ She did not have "forever" to aplish all she needed to aplish before the true end.

    There was an infinity of infinitiesying out before her, and she had to find an exact point, an exact intersection of "when" and "where" in a realm where neither had very much meaning in the first ce.

    She smiled. It didn''t matter.

    She was no longer restrained. There was no crude vessel left behind that she had to maintain a connection to. While there was no longer any going back, she could go forward as she never could before.

    Also, where she had previously been blindly fumbling about, she now had very precise information thanks to her "sister".

    She even had a name¡­

    Sheloran!

    Throwing caution to the wind, she hurled herself into the abyss.

    ***

    Lounging on their ship, a gang of miscreants looked at a map of the Federation.

    "We need some podunk backwater," She mused, "The more backward, the better."

    "This is the Federation we are talking about here," Jessie snerked, "That doesn''t really narrow it down much."

    "Look for somece way off the beaten path," She said as she looked at a list of systems. "We need as soft a target as we can find."

    Gloria''s eyes zed for a moment as she shivered slightly.

    "What about there?" she asked. "I''ve never even heard of a th before."

    "Jessie?" She asked as she opened a beer.

    Jessie''s eyes sparkled as she reviewed the system''s stats.

    "It''s perfect!" Jessie bubbled happily.

    ***

    A young innocent th stared in horror at the holo-vid screen¡­

    We have engaged the services of Federation Intelligence in determining the source of the horrid unclean Terran game known as "Federation Fun Time," and we swear that we will find who has befouled our world with its fetid oil. When we locate, and we WILL locate the th responsible for this outrage, they will be CLOISTERED until the end of their days!

    The young th slumped into her chair, gasping for breath. They were already tracing the trades, somehow. Gamers she had known for years were getting snatched off the streets and questioned.

    Not all of them were released afterwards.

    th were going to prison over this.

    She was going to jail for pooping life!

    "Oh, Prophet," she squeaked, "what am I going to do?"

    <em>What you are going to do</em>, a strange voice said in her head, <em>Is get the FUCK out of here.</em>

    Sheloran gasped at the strange intrusive thought.

    It was right!

    She had to leave right now! She had to run!

    ***

    On a world far from the crash and bang of the great powers, there stood a city made of impossible towers of crystal and light.

    In the center of this amazingndscape stood arge park where a small cluster of ancient buildings was lovingly maintained and covered by a huge crystal dome.

    In the center of this ruin was a statue of a small, frail-looking th¡­

    In front of it, "something" paused.

    It smiled though none of the visitors of this sacred ce could see her.

    She looked about. Her old tower still remained!

    How did they manage to pull that one off? By her estimations, millions of years had passed. There was "conservation," and then there was this¡­

    ¡­ It was magnificent! Considering the beings that had aplished it, she shouldn''t have been too surprised. They always were far better than her kind.

    She looked at them as they walked along the polished stones. They had changed, of course. Millions of years would do that. However, they were still her beloved Tol.

    She had been right. They had not only survived, but they thrived.

    She wished to explore, to see everything they had achieved, but she could not.

    There was little time.

    She shot over to her tower and into her old office.

    It had been preserved exactly as she had left it. Some things had turned to dust, and others had obviously been painstakingly conserved to the finest detail.

    One thing, however, was still original. In the corner of the tower stood a in rectangr wooden post of heartwood made from her mothership. It was one of the only things that she could trust tost the test of time¡­

    ...and it had.

    She reached out and "touched" it.

    At her touch, it sprung to life. From its center rose a small octagonal column covered with intricate designs¡­

    ¡­ and inside that, there was a small tablet inscribed with runes, one final message.

    An invisible being paused and looked out the window.

    "Goodbye, my wonderful children," she whispered¡­

    ...and then it sped away.

    ***

    Today¡­

    T''sunk''al staggered out of therge storage room he hadmandeered for thetest insane jump he had been tasked to plot and staggered into the galley.

    He smiled blearily at She as he walked over to a cab and took out some tea and a cup noodle.

    "How goes the jump?" She asked as she sipped her coffee.

    "It''s as good as it''s going to get," T''sunk''al shrugged. "Are you sure there is something there?"

    "Yep," She replied. "It''s not on any chart, but it''s there."

    "And people actually jump to it?"

    "They usually leapfrog from waypoint to waypoint within the system," She said with a smirk, "Nobody jumps to it from outside the system. That would be insane."

    "It actually is," T''sunk''al replied nonchntly. "This is as close to a void jump as you can get without it being a void jump."

    "You can do it, right?" She asked.

    "I''ve actually done real void jumps at longer ranges," T''sunk''al replied as he plopped a tea bag into a cup of steaming water. "Of course I can, but just because one can doesn''t mean one should."

    "It''s not like we have much choice," She shrugged, "MAGA is the only ce where we are guaranteed safe harbor right now. I don''t even trust independent space as hot as we are."

    "But MAGA is in Sol," T''sunk''al said with his trademark calm, "If you mistrust independent space, how can you be so certain that the Republic won''t be waiting for us when we arrive?"

    "Yeah, it''s in Sol¡­ technically," She smiled, "But it''s almost a light year out from anything close to ''civilization,'' and the Republic will not go there. Trust me."

    "But they are everywhere else, even Nemesis and Quaoar."

    "Yeah, but even the Chuckies aren''t the MAGAs," She chuckled as she finished her cup. "If the Republic were there, we could see the shooting from here, dude. The Republic isn''t going to go to war with the whole fucking belt, even for us."

    "The whole belt?"

    "The MAGAs are some of the original ''Kuipers'' if you can even call them Kuipers anymore. Everyone either owes them some serious favors, depends on them for supplies, or respects the hell out of them, probably all three. If the Republic goes after MAGA, the whole belt will take it as an attack on their ''sovereignty,'' and if you think the Kuiper belt is bad, it has nothing on the Oort Cloud. The people out there are¡­ well¡­"

    She pondered things for a moment.

    "You know how the Federation views Terrans? Well, the Oort Cloud is our Terrans. It''s just best to leave them alone, and technically, since they are outside of the heliosphere, they aren''t even officially part of Sol anyhow. What the Republic is going to do is just what they are doing, patrol the approaches to MAGA space but actually leave those crazy inbred fuckers alone. We get to MAGA, and we are home free."

    T''sunk''al sipped his tea as he waited for his noodles to steep.

    "If they are that¡­ um¡­ Terran..." T''sunk''al said as he checked the timer he set for his meal, "Will we be safe there?"

    "Sure," She replied, "They are some of the nicest people you will ever meet¡­ mostly..."

    "Mostly?" T''sunk''al asked with a dubious flick of his eight remaining eyestalks.

    "You''ll see," She smirked, "You are right, though. It can be difficult establishing yourself with them, but..."

    At that moment, Jessie burst into the galley wearing a pair of entirely too short cutoff blue-jean shorts, a huge holographic red, white, and blue belt buckle emzoned with the word "Brandon", a tight sleeveless red, white and blue t-shirt with a bald eagle, a straw hat, and holographic rhinestone-encrusted cowboy boots.

    "GitRdun!" she shouted, "Y''all fixin t'' jump r whut?"

    "As you can see," Shelia grinned as T''sunk''al tried to recover from the fashion war crime that had just assaulted him, "We have an inside connection."

    "Wooo!" Jessie shouted as she danced around happily, "MAGA!"

    ***

    "This is going to be awesome!!!" Jessie bubbled, absolutely beside herself as the ship prepared for jump.

    "It''s definitely going to be something," Greg replied with a raised eyebrow.

    "Who is ''Brandon''?" Sheloran asked as she settled into a seat on the bridge.

    "Oh, it''s a MAGA word!" Jessie eximed, "It means ''asshole'' or ''son of a bitch¡¯ or something like that!"

    "Are you from this MAGA space?" Sheloran asked curiously.

    "Nah!" Jessie eximed, vibrating with excitement, "I just had to hide out there for a couple of years!"

    "ck hackers, especially good ones like us," Bunny said proudly, "Are public enemy number one! Everyone wants a piece of you, both thew and normal hackers alike. We had to keep a very low profile, and when we¡­ kinda fucked that up¡­ we had to get as far away from thew as we could, which was why we went to where we are going now, for exactly the same reason."

    "She and the guys picked me up at Hobby Lobby!" Jessie eximed. "That''s where I worked before I joined the crew!"

    "Which worked out quite well for us," She said over her shoulder. "especially since some of her old ''family'' are who agreed to let us dock."

    "Oh, you will LOVE them!" Jessie eximed, bouncing up and down in her seat. "They are just the nicest people!"

    "Yeah, they all are..." Eno grumbled as everyone except T''sunk''al and Sheloran snickered.

    "They are!" Jessie insisted.

    "Mmm hmm..." She replied. "Lovely people..."

    "She!" Jessie huffed. "Yah jes gotta get t'' know them proper."

    "Jessie," She said firmly, "If you don''t stop talking like that, I swear to fuck..."

    Jessie giggled.

    "Ok, everyone," T''sunk''al said, "we are approaching our window. Jump in 3¡­ 2¡­ 1¡­ Jump!"

    The Paper Tiger slid into hyperspace without even a shudder.

    "Damn," Gloria sighed, "T, I never get tired of that."

    "Let''s just hope it''s as smooth on the other end," T''sunk''al replied, "and remotely close to our target."

    Everyone unbuckled themselves from the flight chairs.

    "Well, we have a few days to kill," Gloria said as she got up. "Hey, Sheloran, how about we head down to my ship and¡­ Sheloran?"

    Sheloran was just standing there with her eyes closed¡­

    They popped open, glowing with swirls of impossible colors.

    With a little "eep," she fell to the floor.

    "Great," She muttered, "now what?"

    ***

    Sheloran blinked.

    <em>Where am I</em>, she thought as she looked around and saw nothing but strange swirling mist.

    She wasn''t alone.

    Floating before her was a faintly luminous old th.

    "Sheloran?" the th asked.

    "Yes?"

    The ancient th smiled.

    "You have no idea how long I''ve been waiting to meet you..."

    ***

    After the old th finished speaking, Sheloran just floated there, stunned.

    "So¡­ You''re the poophead that has been messing with me?!?" she demanded after a little while.

    "Not just me," the Heretic replied, "You are the gic..."

    "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Sheloran grumbled, "I''m the long-awaited seconding of the jerkface that killed the freaking Great Prophet, who also just happened to be an even bigger jerkface and the entire faith on which I built my entire flushing life is just a big ol'' wad of poop. Got it."

    "I must say you are taking all of this a lot more calmly than I anticipated."

    "Are you familiar with my flushing life?" Sheloran demanded, "I can only lose my poop so many times, you know."

    The Heretic chuckled.

    "I suppose you do have a point," she said with a rueful smile. "For what it''s worth, I am truly sorry for my role in all of this and have spent most of my life trying to atone for my sins and to undo, at least in part, some of what I did to you. I was¡­ well, the word ''wrong'' doesn''t evene close¡­ I''m sorry."

    "I''m too tired and have too many other people to be angry with to be too upset with you," Sheloran replied. "If what you are saying is true, then I was ''destined'' to be a freak from the beginning."

    "Yes," the Heretic said sympathetically, "Once again, I am..."

    "Yeah," Sheloran said, cutting her off, "I take it you didn''te all this way/when to just say you were sorry, though."

    Sheloran narrowed her glowing eyes.

    "Why are you here, and what do you want?"

    "My life is at an end," the Heretic replied. "Actually, my life ended a very, very long time ago. With thest of my energy and skill, I left my dying body and passed through the void to reach you to tell you everything that I have. It''s information you needed to know, and perhaps it will help¡­ I don''t know¡­"

    "You don''t know?" Sheloran smirked, "I thought you knew everything."

    "Not everything," the Heretic smiled, "But I do know some things up to this point. After this moment, I have no knowledge. You are the inevitable end of that chapter in our history. All lines of probability converge right here. You are¡­ a singrity of sorts. The lines of the past converge and end here. I''ve done what I could to make it as clean of a break as possible and to give you as much of a chance to chart the future for yourself¡­ for yourself and our people, as I could."

    "Our people?!?" Sheloran snapped. "You mean the world killing pooping jerkfaces who were ves to some even bigger jerkfaces?!?"

    The Heretic flinched, and her form wavered slightly.

    "Forgive me if I don''t give two poops about our people at the moment!"

    "Sheloran, please," the Heretic implored, "¡­ You''re right¡­ You''re right. It isn''t our people. My people did horrible things, both at themand of the Progenitors and on our own. My people were all but destroyed by the First Daughter for our sins, and she paved the way for your people."

    "My people?"

    "The th of today are not the same as those who came before. They are a quiet simple folk who aren''t corrupted by our sins, our vices, and our ambitions. Please don''t judge them for our sins. I won''t try to convince you what to do or try to tell you what your ''destiny'' is. Just¡­ please¡­ don''t hate them for what we did. They are¡­ innocent¡­ I''ve been to the homeworld, and for the most part, they are exactly what they appear to be."

    "For the most part?" Sheloran asked dubiously.

    "There are those among them who¡­ guard the others'' slumber," The Heretic said. "They think quite highly of you, by the way."

    "Whoop de pooping doo," Sheloran replied. "Fat lot of help they were."

    The Heretic sighed.

    "I know you must be angry..."

    "You think?"

    The Heretic reached into herself and withdrew a glowing¡­ something¡­

    "Here," she said, extending the glowing¡­ thing¡­ towards Sheloran.

    "What''s that?" Sheloran asked suspiciously as she backed away.

    "It''s¡­ part of myself..." The Heretic replied sadly. ¡°Knowledge¡­ experience¡­ Things that I''ve seen as I traveled to you¡­ Things about the th¡­ Things about the foes you currently face¡­ Everything that I have told you and more¡­ Consider it my way of¡­ paying reparations¡­"

    Sheloran just stood there, arms crossed, suspiciously ring at her.

    "...Please..." The Heretic begged. "It will exin things better than I have..."

    "Fine," Sheloran shrugged, "Why the poop not."

    Sheloran reached out and took the¡­ thing¡­

    ...which immediately melted into her "body"¡­

    "Woah..." Sheloran said as her eyes glowed brightly.

    The Heretic smiled sadly.

    "There it is¡­ all of it..." she said sadly. "I can''t begin to tell you..."

    "You don''t have to," Sheloran sighed¡­ and smiled a little. "Poop being poop doesn''t change much, huh?" she said with a wry smile.

    "No, it does not¡­ sister..." The Heretic replied sadly.

    "Well, for what it''s worth," Sheloran replied, "You aren''t aplete jerkface¡­ not aplete one..."

    ¡°That¡­ means a lot¡­ Thank you..." The Heretic sighed. "Thank you."

    "And these¡­ Tol..." Sheloran said as she searched her (new) thoughts, "They have something for me?"

    "Oh yes," The Heretic smiled. "They have so much for you. I left certain things in their care, and they still remember. When you feel yourself ready, seek them out. However, I suspect they will be searching for you as well."

    "Everyone else is," Sheloran shrugged, "What''s one more?"

    The Heretic smiled.

    "I''m¡­ fading..." she said sadly. ¡°It was¡­ an honor¡­ Sheloran."

    "Go to your children," Sheloran smiled, "I''ll take it from here¡­ not that I have a pooping choice..."

    "Good luck, Sheloran," The Heretic smiled and disappeared.

    ***

    Sheloran opened her eyes to find herself in the med bay with Eno hovering over her.

    "You''re awake!" Eno eximed with relief.

    Sheloran just sighed a long weary sigh.

    "Eno?" she asked.

    "Yes?"

    "I''ve had a really poopy day, and I just want to curl up and go to sleep," she said. "Do you¡­ do you think we could¡­ you know¡­ sleep?"

    "You still want to¡­ sleep with me?" Eno asked in surprise.

    "Eno," Sheloran sighed, "I''m exhausted and really want a good night''s sleep. I don''t care what ''it'' does."

    ***

    She was walking towards the galley when she saw Sheloran walk past in one of her t-shirt nightgowns, holding her pillow¡­

    ...and heading towards Eno''s room¡­

    She just stood there for a second.

    "Don''t care," she said as she continued towards the galley.

 Chapter 215: Predators

    Chapter 215: Predators

    ¡°Hey, Uhrrbet,¡± Charlotte said as she served the Garthra a cup of Lapsang Souchong, ¡°you ever hear of a Garthra named Maaatisha?¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t say that I have,¡± Uhrrbet said smoothly, years of running a business and maintaining appearances keeping her voice pleasant and even, ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°A private detective came around asking about her,¡± Charlotte replied, handing Uhrrbet one of the man¡¯s cards with a pretty and desperate-looking Garthra on the front. ¡°We thought he was a bounty hunter or something, but Craxi and her boyfriend of doom sat on the poor son of a¡­ what do they say? Bitch. Yes, they sat on the poor son of a bitch and confirmed his story. It turns out that there is actually someone back home who ims that she is in real trouble and wants to help.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll believe that when I see it,¡± Uhrrbet said, sessfully keeping herself from smiling.

    She pointed at the card.

    ¡°That girl¡¯s a Grey, like me,¡± Uhrrbet said with a little frown. ¡°If she is this far from home and looking like that, she has nobody¡­ just like I do. She has no ce.¡±

    ¡°No ce?¡± Charlotte asked.

    ¡°Having a ¡®ce¡¯ is everything to a Grey,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°It¡¯s important to any Garthra, but the others, the Blondes, and the Stripes, can find a ce easily enough if they lose theirs. For us¡­ If you lose your ce, especially now, there is no new one. No ce means...¡±

    Uhrrbet sighed.

    ¡°It¡¯s hard to exin,¡± she said after a moment as she took a sip of the smoky, delicious tea. ¡°For us, it¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s your livelihood, your ce in society¡­ your reason for existing. If you lose it¡­ like I did¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet looked down.

    ¡°You should kill yourself. I couldn¡¯t¡­ because of my boy¡­ I couldn¡¯t kill him¡­¡±

    She looked into Charlotte¡¯s numerous eyes.

    ¡°...but I should have...¡±

    ¡°Ah, you lost your ability to hunt,¡± Charlotte nodded. ¡°I understandpletely.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Charlotte nodded. ¡°When we be unable to hunt, either through illness, injury or age, when we be unable to provide for ourselves, we do much the same.¡±

    Charlotte paused as she started work on her next order.

    ¡°In fact,¡± she said, ¡°It¡¯s the usual way of things. When we be old and infirm, we go out on one final hunt¡­ and never return. We fall as we should, nourishing the world just as it sustained us. It makes perfect sense.¡±

    She handed a human a mug of caf¨¨ americano.

    ¡°None of us can countenance being fed from another¡¯s ws, not that anyone would do that,¡± Charlotte smiled. ¡°You go out on your feet, blood on your ws and flesh in your mouth. That is the way it has always been and the way it shall always be. It¡¯s¡­ gratifying¡­ to see that sentiment is not entirely unique out here.¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°But you failed to do so because of your instinctive attachment to your offspring?¡±

    ¡°And I was condemned for it,¡± Uhrrbet sighed. ¡°I was seen as dishonoring my family and my spouse who did do his duty. I¡­ I just couldn¡¯t kill my little one¡­ I couldn¡¯t...¡±

    Charlotte nodded as her butt scribbled notes. This was fascinating.

    ¡°So your instinct overrode your cultural values. Commendable.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°I believe so,¡± Charlotte replied. ¡°For us, instinct is first and foremost. It is above all things. If your blood tells you one thing and your culture says another, then blood wins. This doesn¡¯te up for us because they are one and the same. Our civilization serves us, not the other way around as it appears to out here. Your bloodmanded that you, for some reason, save your child, and that is what you did. It also makes perfect sense.¡±

    ¡°It does?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Charlotte said as she started making a cappino, ¡°Blood wins, or it should. Your culture¡¯s insistence on something else is¡­ foolish¡­ for your species, but it does serve a valuable purpose, at least in my opinion.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°It filters out the weak,¡± Charlotte said, ¡°The weak followed themand, killed their offspring, and then perished,pletely removing themselves from the sacred bloodline. You did not. Therefore you and your offspring survived, and he will carry those superior genes forward, as it should be.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Uhrrbet said thoughtfully, ¡°I never thought about it that way.¡±

    ¡°From what you have said earlier and from what others have said,¡± Charlotte said kindly, ¡°It sounds like your race encountered a ¡®great culling¡¯, what the humans call a ¡®bottleneck¡¯. The weak died, and the strong survived.¡±

    ¡°My husband was not weak!¡± Uhrrbet snapped.

    ¡°Forgive me for implying that was the case,¡± Charlotte said, ¡°However, he had a child to protect as well, yes?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­ yes.¡±

    ¡°And he chose not to do so,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°That could be because he was ¡®weak¡¯ and unable to follow the demands of his blood, or it could mean that he was, in fact, following it. It seems that the burden of raising, nurturing, and protecting the young is unequally distributed among you single breeders. Perhaps his blood demanded something else. Again, forgive me. This is all very new and very alien to my people. We do things very differently.¡±

    Uhrrbet sighed.

    ¡°No...¡± she said quietly, ¡°I think he was.¡±

    ¡°Weak?¡±

    ¡°...Yes,¡± she said, looking downward, ¡°He was weak! He abandoned us when we needed him the most!¡­ I¡­ I just never allowed myself to think that¡­ I always thought that I was the one in the wrong, that I was the weak one...¡±

    ¡°You managed to keep your offspring safe, a gic imperative, and travel with little to no means across the gxy to here, where you have started a business once more. I confess I am not yet familiar with all that entails, but I can tell you with certainty that traveling alone through this gxy is not¡­ easy¡­ even when one has resources on which to draw. Doing so with no currency, no supplies, and no support would be daunting even for one such as myself.¡±

    ¡°It was hard,¡± Uhrrbet said as she took another sip, ¡°I never really thought about it. I was either too busy trying to survive or too busy trying not to think about things.¡±

    ¡°You were running on instinct,¡± Charlotte observed, ¡°The first, best, and purest gift from creation itself. You followed its guiding light andid a trail for your swarm.¡±

    ¡°My swarm?¡±

    ¡°You still have your child, yes?¡± Charlotte inquired, ¡°He is your swarm. He will, in time, attract a mate, and then your swarm will grow. As time passes, perhaps others will follow your trail as well. Who knows? All that is certain is that you have wed out some slim purchase in a new ecosystem and are starting a newmercial enterprise, which seems to be how your species hunts. From my perspective, you aren¡¯t the weak one. You left your hunting grounds, alone, after they were scoured by disaster, traveled alone across a great desert, alone, and forged a new path, alone, to a new hunting ground teaming with game.¡±

    ¡°And I have hunted,¡± Uhrrbet said with a little satisfied smile.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Charlotte asked cocking her head curiously, ¡°It smells like you aren¡¯t talking about fabric.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Uhrrbet said, catching herself, ¡°Oh no,¡± she giggled, ¡°We just get a little¡­ visceral¡­ when we start thinking about business¡­ that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Charlotte smiled.

    Uhrrbet didn¡¯t flinch¡­

    ...she smiled right back at her.

    ¡°Ah,¡± Charlotte clicked with satisfaction, ¡°Finally, another predator! I greet you, sister of the hunt! I wish you many kills and many bloody feasts¡­ in whatever form they may take.¡±

    Uhrrbet raised her mug in a salute.

    ¡°I¡¯ll drink to that,¡± she smiled.

    She paused a moment.

    ¡°So, Charlotte,¡± she asked with a smile, ¡°Where do you get your clothes?...¡±

    ***

    Later, Uhrrbet walked into her shop and looked around with satisfaction.

    The sewing machines,ser cutters,puters, and fabrics had finally arrived!

    She was ready to open for business¡­

    ...a perfect cash business¡­

    She smiled wickedly.

    Everything was falling into ce nicely¡­

    ...and in more ways than one! It looked like her prey was already in the snare.

    It was time to proceed.

    She locked the front door, went into the back room, and started setting up.

    ***

    She opened a bottle of rather nice wine and drank directly from the bottle like a mottle as she fussed over the video she was working on¡­

    ...Well, it was the background of the video she would soon be starring in.

    She chuckled to herself. Who would have known that the ¡°silly hobby¡± that had upied a portion of her youth, making Fe videos, woulde in so handy?

    Creators! She wished she had a rig like this back then! The Republic truly had some amazing things¡­

    ...if you could afford them, which she now could.

    She spent the rest of the day and a fair portion of the evening working on her project, adjusting the lighting, the material of the water, the texture of the bridge, all of it. Pausing only to call and check on her child, she ran and reran the background simtion until it was¡­

    ..<em>.perfect!</em>

    She sighed with delight and checked the time. In just a little while, the actual time outside would match the simtion¡­

    ...and it would be time to hunt once again!

    ***

    Vikkart paced anxiously back and forth in his apartment.

    Those detectives were supposed to be good! How hard could it be to find just one Garthra?

    He growled, baring his fangs.

    It was nothing but excuse after excuse! They even had the pure gall to suggest that Maaatisha wasn¡¯t even real, that she was some sort of ¡°scam!¡±

    Can you imagine? Maaatisha, a ¡°scam¡±, a fabrication?!?

    He, of course, demanded proof, but they couldn¡¯t provide it without sending the footage for some sort of analysis, which of course cost thousands of credits! They imed that they had "questions" concerning the video he sent but said that their software couldn¡¯t prove that it was fake. Despite this, they still wanted him to just fork over thousands, most of which they would pocket, no doubt, just because they were incapable of finding her and wanted to save face!

    Well, he put a pin in that right away! He was a businessman, after all, and if it was faked, he would most certainly have been able to tell! She was real!

    They imed that they would keep looking as long as he was paying, which wouldn¡¯t be that much longer! There were other detective agencies on that sted, and he would go through them all if he had to! Maaatisha, his Maaatisha, was in trouble, and he was going to find her. It didn¡¯t matter if she was ¡°spoiled¡± or not! He didn¡¯t care!

    He just had to find her! She was the one Garthra that didn¡¯t loathe him¡­

    ...or think he was a fucking joke¡­

    Suddenly the phone rang!

    It was from Terra!

    ¡°H-hello?¡± he said as he answered.

    His breath caught.

    It was her!

    She was even more beautiful than he remembered! Her hair was washed, smooth and beautiful, and her simple white garment was clean and bright as it shone in the moonlight.

    ¡°Maaatisha!¡± Vikkart eximed joyously, ¡°Oh, I have been looking for you!¡±

    ¡°You¡­ you have?¡± Maaatisha asked in surprise.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Vikkart replied excitedly, ¡°I¡¯ve hired private investigators on Terra! They have been looking all over for you!¡±

    Maaatisha smiled sadly.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid it¡¯s toote, Vikkart,¡± she sighed. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ toote¡­ I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m unmarriable...¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s ok!¡± Vikkart eximed, ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. I¡¯ll save you!¡±

    ¡°You already have,¡± she smiled. ¡°You reminded me that I am a Garthran. Thinking about you, the time we shared, your kindness¡­ It reminded me what I once was¡­ what I should be...¡±

    Vikkart¡¯s eyes widened as he realized where she was¡­ on a bridge!

    ¡°Maaatisha?¡± he asked uncertainly.

    ¡°I will NOT allow myself to fall further!¡± Maaatisha said, her eyes sparkling proudly. ¡°I shall finally do what I should have done before. I shall be a Garthran, and I shall im my own fate. I escaped my captors, and I havee here, to this spot, to reim my heritage, reim my honor!¡±

    ¡°Maaatisha, no!¡± Vikkart cried out, ¡°You don¡¯t have to do this!¡±

    She smiled serenely.

    ¡°But, I have no ce¡­ well¡­ no ce that I want,¡± she replied. ¡°I will not be a whore¡­ a ything for beasts! No. I shall join my family. It¡¯s not the waters of home, but all waters touch. This alien river will wash the stains of my soul away, and I shall be carried to the mists of the beyond, where I shall await you if you will have me.¡±

    ¡°You do have a ce!¡± Vikkart cried desperately, ¡°with me!¡±

    She cocked her head at him.

    ¡°Whatever do you mean?¡± she asked, ¡°I¡¯m¡­ tarnished¡­ broken¡­ soiled¡­ You can have anyone.¡±

    ¡±No, I can¡¯t!¡± he shouted. ¡°You¡¯re...¡±

    He looked down.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t the only one whose honor is¡­ broken¡­¡± he said with a deep sigh.

    ¡°Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve made¡­ terrible mistakes...¡± he said. ¡°And I was made to pay for them¡­ and I deserved it!¡±

    He looked up at her.

    ¡°I¡¯ve also dishonored myself, disgraced myself, and for far less reason than you have! Whatever has happened, whatever you¡¯ve had to do, I don¡¯t care! You have a ce with me, and if you will have me, I could have a ce with you!¡±

    ¡°Vikkart?¡± Maaatisha gasped, tears welling up in her eyes.

    ¡°I¡¯m serious!¡± he eximed, ¡°I will save you, and I will bring you home!...¡±

    He looked downward.

    ¡°Maybe I can do at least that with my life,¡± he sighed. ¡°When you hear of my disgrace, it may very well be you who won¡¯t have me.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Vikkart,¡± she sighed, ¡°what did you do?¡±

    His head hung low, Vikkart started to exin everything. Everything he did, what¡­ <em>she</em> did to him¡­ The viral video¡­ Theplete and utter disgrace that was his life¡­

    ¡°¡­ so you see,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°Your disgrace pales before mine! I am the one who is begging you to ept me!¡±

    Maaatisha flopped down, sitting on the pedestrian walkway, with her back to the railing.

    ¡°What a pair we are,¡± she chuckled with a quiet sadness.

    ¡°Please¡­ don¡¯t leave,¡± he pled, ¡°stay. Stay with me¡­ please¡­¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t that simple, Vikkart,¡± Maaatisha said regretfully, ¡°I want¡­ Oh, Creators, I want so very badly for this dream to be real...¡±

    ¡°It is real!¡± Vikkart eximed. ¡°It can be!¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m indebted to some very bad people,¡± Maaatisha said with a sad little sigh, ¡°There are worse things than the Harkeen here, so much worse¡­ Terra is a nightmare, an unending hell filled with...¡±

    She buried her face in her hands.

    ¡°...monsters.¡±

    ¡°Maaatisha,¡± Vikkart cried desperately, wishing he could magically reach through the screen. ¡°I am so sorry you have had to face all of that.¡±

    ¡°You know what the Terrans are like,¡± she said, ¡°imagine what their criminals are. That¡¯s who the Harkeen sold me to, Terran mobsters.¡±

    ¡°If they bought you, they will sell you!¡± Vikkart eximed. ¡°Get me in touch with them. Tell them that I want to buy you! I have money! I have so much money, Maaatisha! Tell them that I will pay them whatever it takes!¡±

    ¡°But the border is still sealed,¡± Maaatisha replied, ¡°Even if they will let me go, there is no way I can reach you.¡±

    ¡°We will worry about that after you are safe!¡± he eximed. ¡°As long as you are safe, we can work out the detailster¡­ Even if¡­¡±

    He took a deep breath.

    ¡°Even if I can never have you if you are safe...¡±

    He looked down.

    ¡°Then my worthless life isn¡¯t for nothing,¡± he said. ¡°If I can save you, then I¡¯ve aplished one good thing in my entire miserable life...¡±

    ¡°Oh, Vikkart!¡± Maaatisha gushed. ¡°You¡­ you would do that for me?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± he eximed. ¡°Get me in touch with them. I will handle the rest!¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Maaatisha said,pletely overwhelmed, ¡°Thank you for¡­ hope¡­ I never thought I would ever feel that again. I will have you, Vikkart. I don¡¯t care about your past. I only care about our future! I will face them once more¡­ for you.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡± Vikkart eximed. ¡°I¡­ I won¡¯t let you down, Maaatisha!¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have much time left on this call,¡± Maaatisha said, looking at the screen with concern. ¡°I will go to them at once! Oh, Vikkart! We will be so happy together! I will pledge myself to it!¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to pledge anything,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°your safety and happiness will be joy enough.¡±

    Maaatisha stood.

    ¡°As will yours,¡± she smiled. ¡°Oh, Vikkart, you have made me so happy! I¡ª¡°

    The line went dead.

    Vikkart shouted with joy and stamped his feet rapidly with excitement.

    Wasting no time, he rushed to hisputer and started pulling up his assets¡­

    ***

    Uhrrbet smiled a dark, feral smile as she switched off the Maaatisha simtion, it smiling back at her with the same toothy grin.

    ¡°Many kills and many bloody feasts...¡± she chuckled to herself as she drank straight from the bottle like the feral animal she was.

    She stopped by a convenience store across the street from her shop and picked up a whole basket full of ramen, the fancy ones that her boy really loved, the ones she could hardly ever afford before.

    On the cab ride home, she pulled out her phone and started looking at gaming consoles. She couldn¡¯t remember which one her boy always gushed about. She would have to try to find out discreetly. His birthday wasn¡¯t that far away.

    She looked at the shopping bag full of ramen and sighed with satisfaction.

    This was what life was all about.

    ***

    Vikkart paced back and forth with increasing agitation.

    It had been hours.

    He had already dismissed those ipetent fools he hired. Can you believe that they actuallyughed at him when he did so? If they were on Garthra, he would have them ckballed!

    They obviously had no idea who they were talking to.

    Why hadn¡¯t they called back?

    Impatience was reced with fear. What if something had gone wrong? What if they hadn¡¯t believed her?

    What if¡­

    The phone rang!!!

    It was from Terra!!!

    ¡°Hello!¡± he eximed.

    There was a cold, evil-looking human female in a business suit looking at him.

    ¡°You Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°I am!¡± he said, holding himself erect.

    ¡°I understand we have something you want.¡±

    ¡°Maaatisha,¡± he said, narrowing his eyes. ¡°I want her. How much?¡±

    The woman just chuckled.

    ¡°Unfortunately for you,¡± she sneered, ¡°sweet little Maaatisha was¡­ very forting...¡±

    ¡°WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!?¡±

    ¡°Nothing much,¡± the woman shrugged, ¡°nothing that will damage the resale value, anyway.¡±

    ¡°If you have hurt her...¡±

    ¡°Oh, we did,¡± the human female smiled, ¡°We can¡¯t have our livestock just running out like that. Examples have to be set and all of that.¡±

    ¡°YOU¡­ FUCKER!!!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll call back when you calm down¡­ maybe...¡± the woman smiled coolly and reached for her mouse.

    ¡°No! Wait!¡±

    The woman paused.

    ¡°Oh, you do have it bad,¡± she smirked, ¡°Are you familiar with the free market, supply and demand?¡±

    ¡°What of it?¡±

    ¡°Well...¡± the woman said calmly, ¡°We have something that is in very short supply, and there seems to be quite the demand for it. It¡¯s going to cost you.¡±

    ¡°How much did she owe?¡±

    ¡°How much she owed isn¡¯t the issue,¡± the woman replied, ¡°We bought her. We own her. What she owed the Harkeen is of little consequence. The only thing that matters is how much you are willing to pay for her.¡±

    ¡°What do you want?¡±

    ¡°Two hundred and fifty thousand credits.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s outrageous!¡±

    ¡°Two hundred and fifty thousand credits,¡± the woman smiled, ¡±or, dear, sweet, innocent, little Maaatisha gets to start her new and very short career in film. Are you familiar with a little Terran specialty called a ¡®snuff flick¡¯?¡±

    Vikkart remained silent.

    ¡°Here,¡± the woman smiled, ¡°Let me y a little bit of one for you.¡±

    Vikkart¡¯s blood froze as he saw something that would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his days.

    ¡°The next one of those you watch will have a certain someone in the leading role,¡± the woman smiled.

    ¡°You¡­ <em>animal!</em>¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re all animals,¡± the woman replied, ¡°some of us are just more honest about it than others. We''ve looked into you. Tell me¡­ Vikkart¡­ how many women just as sweet and innocent as little Maaatisha drowned because of you? How many ran from you with torn clothes and tears in their eyes? You are every bit as much of a predator as I am, so cut the bullshit. You¡¯re a predator. I¡¯m a predator. You know exactly what I can and <em>will</em> do. Two hundred and fifty. Now.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t have that much...¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a shame...¡±

    The woman reached for her mouse.

    ¡°No! I don¡¯t! I can¡¯t get it! I swear!¡­ Please!!!¡­ One hundred and eighty! I can do that! It has to be more than you can make off of¡­ Off of¡­.¡±

    Vikkart hung his head and started to weep.

    ¡°...please...¡±

    The woman narrowed her eyes.

    ¡°Tell me, Vikkart,¡± the woman smiled, ¡°Why do you care? Are you that hard up for a mate?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I love her...¡±

    ¡°You love some rodent you haven¡¯t even met?¡± the woman sneered, ¡°And you can onlye up with a measly one hundred and eighty?¡±

    ¡±It¡¯s all I have!!!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s unlikely,¡± the woman replied, ¡°I¡¯ve taken the time to look up your family¡¯spany as well. You are worth a LOT more than that. Here I was thinking I was cutting you a break, for love¡¯s sake, and all you im to have is that? That little gerbil will bring in that in no time even if I don¡¯t send her over to the ¡®media department¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Ok...¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°I can give you one hundred and eighty now and get you the rest. Just¡­ Just stop¡­ making her¡­ just¡­ stop¡­¡±

    The woman smiled.

    ¡°Ok,¡± the woman replied, ¡°One hundred and eighty now and the restter¡­ PLUS a fifty thousand loan processing fee¡­ for a total of three hundred thousand... plus interest... If you keep up the payments, we will keep her nice and safe until we get the bnce. Hell, I¡¯ll even let her call you once a week so you know she is being taken care of.¡±

    ¡°Once a day!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll set up a darkweb wallet,¡± the woman smiled, ¡°every other credit that enters it will go to her. She can call you once an hour if you want.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Vikkart replied.

    ¡°I¡¯ll hold off on sending her over to the film crew,¡± the woman replied, ¡°for ONE day. If that wallet doesn¡¯t have a hundred and eighty in it by this time tomorrow, expect a special little video.¡±

    The line went dead.

    Vikkart just stood there in shock.

    How was he going to get the money?

    He shook his head.

    It didn¡¯t matter. He would get the cash even if he had to hold his shitty parents at fucking gunpoint!...

    ...he would get it even if he had to kill them.

    He pulled out his phone and pulled up his father¡¯s contact info.

    He had to y this smart.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± a disdainful voice answered.

    ¡°Dad,¡± he said, ¡°I want toe to work for you¡­ for thepany...¡±

    ¡°No, seriously,¡± the voiceughed, ¡°what do you want?¡±

    ***

    Uhrrbet switched the "evil mobster woman 1" avatar off and leaned back in theputer chair in her backroom, her fangs bared viciously.

    <em>Perfect...</em>

    She took another long draw from the wine bottle, the red liquid spilling down her maw.

    I almost hope he can¡¯te up with the money... she thought to herself with wicked glee.

    She pulled up her graphics software and selected ¡°start new project¡±¡­

    ¡­ and entered ¡°snufflick1¡± as the project name¡­

    Before she could even construct the room¡¯s walls, there was a notification.

    Someone just made a deposit.

    She grinned and closed the project.

    Dribbling wine everywhere, she spun happily in her chair.

    She quickly essed the dar and navigated to the wallet.

    Bnce 180,000 cr

    ¡°Simp,¡± she snickered as she started a series of transfers¡­

    About half an hourter, she stood up and stretched. She checked the time. It was almost time to open! She tapped an icon on her phone and the front door unlocked and the open sign, crafted from actual neon tubes, sprang to life.

    <em>The hard part is having to wait until I can exin the money before I buy Kurr thatputer he¡¯s always wanted,</em> she thought to herself happily. <em>Maybe I can ¡°take up¡± gambling...</em>

    The door chimed.

    ¡°Hello?¡± a voice called out.

    A customer!

    ¡°Coming!¡± Uhrrbet eximed happily as she quickly wiped off her wine-stained jaws and rushed to the front.

    Soon she was happily scanning a strange little xeno and cheerfully talking about fabrics and clothing styles from her homeworld.

    ¡°I¡¯m so happy you are here!¡± the xeno eximed, absolutely overjoyed. ¡°I had no idea where I could get clothing for my species! I¡¯m telling everyone I know about you!¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s what I¡¯m here for!¡± Uhrrbet bubbled as she happily immersed herself in her ¡°real job".

    As her head danced with flowing cloth and the exotic, strange clothing on her screen, she sighed happily.

    This was what life was all about!

 Chapter 216: Sheloran Scoops the Poop Part One

    Chapter 216: Sheloran Scoops the Poop Part One

    Eno awoke and looked down at the small blue creature sprawled across his chest.

    He smiled. Another night ofpletely dreamless sleep.

    He felt great!

    He resisted the urge to stroke her head and justy there quietly looking at the ceiling.

    Even the memories were gone.

    He felt¡­

    ...absolutely nothing, and it was fantastic!

    About fifteen minutester Sheloran opened her eyes.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± she said, smiling.

    ¡°Morning,¡± Eno said as he smiled back. ¡°I guess we need to get up now.¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± Sheloran said as she buried her face in his torso. ¡°I don¡¯t want to. Today is going to suck scum.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Eno asked. ¡°We have nothing to do but coast for another two days.¡±

    ¡°You have nothing to do but coast,¡± Sheloran replied, looking vexed. ¡°I get to spend the day bobbing for floaters!¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± he asked, looking down at her.

    ¡°When I passed out, I got a huge pile of poop from some freaking ghost grunt-hump,¡± she replied, ¡°And while I was sleeping, it all got untangled. I have to make some calls today to some people I do NOT want to talk to.¡±

    ¡°You got what from where?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s some of that stupid weird poop I have to deal with,¡± Sheloran replied with an annoyed snort, ¡°Some ancient th witch went and yanked me out of my body to drop some nice fat ploppers into my bowl.¡±

    She let out a wet raspberry from her gills, ¡°I swear to poop. If she shows up again, I¡¯m biting her.¡±

    Eno just looked down at her in confusion.

    ¡°Apparently, there is some secret th order that is bent and determined to poop all over my world¡­ well¡­ poop all over your world, but I don¡¯t want to have to deal with that scum.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, they are making some sort of super disease to wipe all of you out,¡± Sheloran grumbled, ¡°and I am the one who has to go and sort all of this out¡­ Oh, she could bother to show up in my head, but she couldn¡¯t make a little detour to talk to one of them? Of course not! Once again, I have to go and shovel out someone else¡¯s barn.¡±

    She sat up.

    ¡°I tell you, Eno,¡± she grumbled, ¡°I¡¯m getting really tired of this poop.¡±

    ¡°Okay...¡±

    ¡±Then I have to have a long heart-to-heart with Bunny, and that¡¯s not going to be fun,¡± she grumbled.

    ¡°Bunny?¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± she said, looking at him, ¡°forget I said that. I just need to get her to get some information for me.¡±

    ¡°Okaaay...¡±

    ¡°Exactly what the fuck do you need to talk to me about?¡± a dubious voice asked from a speaker in the wall.

    ¡°Jesus pooping Prophet!¡± Sheloran snapped. ¡°Is there no privacy on this ship?¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°I see all. I know all, and considering the freaks on board, I really wish I didn¡¯t. Let¡¯s just say your little slumber parties are NOT what usually goes down around here¡­ I also know everyone¡¯s browser histories which is also something I could go an entire lifetime without knowing. You aren¡¯t the freak on this ship! Trust me.¡±

    There was another wet raspberry.

    ¡°So, what do you need to talk to me about?¡± Bunny asked.

    ¡°We need to speak in private¡­ter...¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure you don¡¯t want to go into what I want to cover right now.¡±

    ¡°Okaaaay...¡± Bunny replied dubiously.

    ¡±Then I have to call my carp poopwyer, and I really don¡¯t want to talk to him anymore,¡± Sheloran grumbled. ¡°Then I have to call Craxi and go over what is going on at the Drop¡­ Then¡­ well, you get the pooping idea. It¡¯s going to be me trying to sweep a river all darn day.¡±

    She hopped up.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get some breakfast and a cup of tea,¡± Sheloran said, smoothing her t-shirt, ¡°Then I will save the human race from jerkfaces even jerkier than you guys are.¡±

    ¡°Okaaaaay...¡± Eno and Bunny said in unison.

    ***

    As a grumpy Sheloran was bing progressively less grumpy thanks to a nice cup of tea, She strode into the galley.

    ¡°What the fuck is this about another gue?¡± she asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran said nonchntly, ¡°The th shadow government has gotten tired of your poop. They are in the process of putting together some sort of whatever to deal with all of you. It seems that kidnapping th isn¡¯t the healthiest thing to do.¡±

    ¡°They can do that?¡±

    ¡°They did it to the hyper-roaches.¡±

    ¡°...Fuck.¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Sheloran said as she calmly sipped her tea, ¡°the poor little things didn¡¯tst a month, and now they die as soon as one crawls out of a ship. It was really nasty, too. I actually felt sorry for them.¡±

    ¡°Jesus...¡± Eno gasped.

    ¡°What the hell are you waiting for?!?¡± She eximed, her coffee forgotten, ¡°Stop them!¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t had breakfast yet,¡± Sheloran shrugged.

    ¡°Forget your fucking¡ª¡°

    ¡°Tea,¡± Sheloran said firmly, ¡°Waffles. Then, if I feel like it, I will deal with those jerkfaces.¡±

    She just groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

    ¡°Besides,¡± Sheloran said as she calmly sipped her tea, ¡°they haven¡¯t finished it yet.¡±

    ¡°Maybe you should stop them before they do?¡± She said, taking deep calm steadying breaths.

    ¡°Oh, they are going to finish it,¡± Sheloran said as she swirled a forkful of waffle in some synth syrup. ¡°I can only stop them from using it. You guys have really pinched their poopers from the inside this time.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to fucking kill Cerberus!¡± She growled.

    ¡°Oh, they were just thest thing on the list,¡± Sheloran smiled, ¡°You are on it too, you know. They know all about you waddlers.¡±

    ¡°They do?!?¡±

    ¡°Not your names,¡± Sheloran said as she crunched a freeze-dried strawberry. ¡°but they do know you are Terran. Cerberus was just the final annoyance, that¡¯s all. Don¡¯t worry. As long as Terra doesn¡¯t mess with them again, I can fix this¡­ after breakfast. Prophet! I do NOT want to deal with those poop stains. You are lucky I actually like you buttfaces.¡±

    She sipped her tea.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about Cerberus,¡± she said as her eyes dted fully ck¡­

    ¡°They get to deal with me.¡±

    ***

    On the th homeworld, in the Grand Cathedral of the Great Prophet, one of the fewputers in the building made a ringing sound.

    A th wearing richly embroidered robes answered.

    ¡°Yes,¡± he said pleasantly.

    He froze.

    ¡°How did you get this number?!?¡± he demanded as he recognized the face on the screen.

    ¡°Put me in touch with the person in charge,¡± Sheloran demanded.

    ¡°Begone, Child of the Befouler!¡± he shouted. ¡°And never¡ª¡°

    Sheloran blinked, and her eyes shone with swirling madness.

    ¡°Put me through to the real person in charge¡­ now,¡± Sheloran hissed, ¡°If you don¡¯t, I wille back and find him myself.¡±

    ¡°One¡­ one moment¡­ please...¡± The Bearer of the Prophet¡¯s Wisdom, nominally the ¡°person in charge¡±, stammered and ran off, his heavy robe flopping as he sprinted.

    A few minutester, he reappeared.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m transferring your call now,¡± he said, quite shaken.

    The screen cked out for a moment, and the terrified face of the th Pope was reced with a pleasant-looking older th wearing spectacles.

    ¡°Hello, Sheloran,¡± he said, nodding his head respectfully, ¡°My name is Malshora. I am known as ¡®The Librarian¡¯. I maintain The Archive. I am sorry to say that there is not one person in charge, but I do sit on a certain council, the entirety of which would roughly meet the criteria that you specified. I must say I am delighted you called.¡±

    ¡°The feeling isn¡¯t mutual,¡± Sheloran said as her eyes returned to normal.

    ¡°The fires of true sight,¡± The Librarian said in wonder, ¡°truly amazing. You have truly awakened.¡±

    ¡°And I am just pooping thrilled about it, too,¡± Sheloran grumbled. ¡°Call off the gue. I will deal with Cerberus.¡±

    ¡°How¡­ how did you know...¡±

    ¡°Some glowing jerkface told me,¡± Sheloran replied.

    ¡°You have received a visitation?!?¡± The Librarian gasped. ¡°What did it say? Please! Tell me!¡±

    ¡°Just call off the pooping gue,¡± Sheloran snapped. ¡°I will deal with Cerberus. After I¡¯m done with those poops, they won¡¯t be bothering anybody ever again.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°It is only being prepared as a contingency in case you failed. We would not presume to interfere if you have chosen to get involved.¡±

    He straightened his sses.

    ¡°We will take no action unless you fall or you specifically request it,¡± he said with a respectful nod.

    ¡°Good,¡± Sheloran snarled. ¡°Give me your contact info, so I don¡¯t have to deal with your cross-stitch puppet boy next time.¡±

    ¡°Contacting us directly is¡­ problematic,¡± The Librarian replied. ¡°There is not a direct connection between The Archive and the outside world. The Bearer will have no issue with either rying messages from you or getting one of us whenever you wish.¡±

    Sheloran let out another wet t from her gills.

    ¡°I do apologize,¡± he said, ¡°but conventionalmunications terminals can be located, and The Archive must be protected.¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Sheloran grumbled. ¡°Fine, I will talk to the pooping church if I need to, not that I am nning on it.¡±

    ¡°We would appreciate notification that the problem has been dealt with,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°so we can properly preserve the cultures.¡±

    ¡°I said they would be handled,¡± Sheloran growled as her eyes dted intoplete ckness.

    ¡°And the warrior¡¯s aspect!¡± The Librarian gasped, falling to his knees.

    ¡°Oh, for poop¡¯s sake,¡± Sheloran sighed as she facepalmed.

    ¡°You are the true incarnation!¡±

    ¡°I am the true ¡®getting tired of this poop¡¯,¡± Sheloran grumbled, ¡°Get up, jerkface. I¡¯m not talking to the top of your head.¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ Yes, of course¡­ Dark Guardian,¡± The Librarian said in awe as he rose.

    ¡°My name is Sheloran,¡± she snapped, ¡°Just ¡®Sheloran¡¯, no ¡®Dark Guardian¡¯, no weird chanting, no ¡®Child of the Befouler¡¯, none of that poop. Just call off the prophet-dammed gue! If you jerkfaces kill off the humans, I am going to be pissed, and you do NOT want that!¡±

    ¡°The gue is yours tomand¡­ Sheloran...¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°Then Imand you to flush it down¡­¡±

    Her eyes glowed.

    She sighed and facepalmed.

    ¡°No. Finish development and preserve it. We might have need of it.¡±

    ¡°SHELORAN, WHAT THE FUCK?!?¡± She shouted over the inte.

    ¡°I¡¯m ON the phone!¡± Sheloran shouted back. ¡°Sorry about that, Librarian. Humans have no manners.¡±

    ¡°Sheloran...¡± Shelia said in a dangerous tone.

    ¡°You, and I mean you specifically, raided our world and shot up a town, my town. Some of those people were really nice¡­ well... marginally okay guys, too. At the very least, they weren¡¯t so bad that they deserved what happened to them. Then, yet more Terrans vited our homeworld and kidnapped our people to do Prophet knows what to them,¡± Sheloran replied calmly. ¡°We are just supposed to lie down and take that? Would you Terrans? You have your warships, and we have a tiny little vial¡­ and me, of course. Deal with it¡­ or don¡¯t. I¡¯m past giving a poop. They aren¡¯t going to use it unless they have to, and I will personally see to it that they won¡¯t have to. Now get off the pooping line! I can only deal with one jerkface at a pooping time.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    (click)

    ¡°They also flooded our world with their detestable games,¡± The Librarian added.

    ¡°Oh that wasn¡¯t them,¡± Sheloran replied dismissively. ¡°Those were from me¡­ until some other jerks burned down my servers!¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°A girl has to pay the bills, and you can all grunt-hump your mother¡¯s eggs,¡± she growled. ¡°I have no love for any of you turds. I¡¯m just the croaker that has to clean up all of this mess so I can get back to some semnce of a normal life. Don¡¯t think for one second that you are ¡®my people¡¯ or that we are on the same side.¡±

    ¡°I know you haven¡¯t been treated especially well by those who slumber...¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just the tip of the poopberg!¡± Sheloran snapped. ¡°Do you know?¡±

    ¡°I know many things,¡± The Librarian replied cautiously, ¡°What¡ª¡°

    ¡°Skip the scum, four-eyes,¡± Sheloran snapped. ¡°Your precious archive, how far does it go back?¡±

    ¡°Well, to the beginning.¡±

    ¡°Do you know about the so-called ¡®Great Work¡¯?¡± she hissed, ¡°Do you know what we did?¡±

    The Librarian flinched.

    ¡°So you are...¡±

    ¡°Yeah, motherpooper, I am,¡± Sheloran growled. ¡°Stop petting your sperm and answer my pooping question! Do. You. Know?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± The Librarian sighed. ¡°I know the whole story. I know of our great sin.¡±

    ¡°So you do consider it a sin, then?¡±

    ¡°I assume you are referring to what lived here before we arrived?¡± The Librarian said gravely, ¡°Then, yes, I do. We all do. I believe that what followed was the Great and Old Ones¡¯ punishment. You nearly destroyed the Great Work and did eliminate both the warriors and the seers, freeing us from their tyranny.¡±

    He sighed again and looked down.

    ¡°I fail to understand,¡± he said. ¡°Their power was¡­ near divine. They could have chosen any world. They could have even breathed life into a barren rock if they wished. Why did they murder an entire race and destroy an entire living over something so trivial? Why would the great progenitors create such¡­ monsters?¡±

    ¡°Oh, the progenitors knew exactly what they were making,¡± Sheloran snapped, ¡°They were even bigger jerkfaces.¡±

    ¡°You likely know more of them than I,¡± The Librarian replied gravely, ¡°My knowledge only covers our time on this world with any depth. The only things we have from the time before consist of only fragments and second-hand ounts.¡±

    ¡°What,¡± Sheloran sneered, ¡°no squeaks of ¡®sphemy¡¯?¡±

    He finally looked up and met her gaze once more.

    ¡°You can either maintain the bible, or you can worship it,¡± The Librarian replied. ¡°You can either protect the slumber, or you can close your eyes and dream. I surrendered thefort of the warm and soft nket of faith the moment I joined the order so very long ago. We keep the hard truths, the cold and wicked realities, and, sometimes, make the very dark decisions that keep our people safe, safe from themselves.¡±

    ¡°Decisions like covering me with dirt like an overused outhouse?¡±

    ¡°You affected your own rescue long before we even knew exactly who you were,¡± The Librarian smiled, ¡°Just as the prophecy foretold...¡±

    ¡°Pooping prophecy...¡± Sheloran grumbled.

    ¡°We would have rushed to you had we known who you were and hadn¡¯t already left the system,¡± he said. ¡°You would have been wee among us. All of the orders would have fought to be the ones to wee you into their number. Sheloran, you had a ce with us. You just did not know.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Sheloran said with a wet ¡°t¡±, ¡°Of pooping course. Why would it be any other flushing way?¡±

    ¡°And you can return if anytime you desire,¡± The Librarian said, ¡°Though I know you will not.¡±

    ¡°Is that in the pooping prophecy, too?¡±

    ¡°I am very sorry to say that it is,¡± he smiled, ¡°It says that you will remain lurking in the darkness at the end of days to guard our world and wage a final battle with those who have hunted us for so long, freeing us forever.¡±

    ¡°Well fuck you and your prophecy!¡±

    The Librarian gasped despite himself at the harshnguage. It seemed that the seconding had quite the mouth on her. (If it wasn¡¯t already quite obvious.)

    ¡°If I do any of that poop,¡± Sheloran continued angrily, ¡°It is because I did it by ident! You can handle whatever is looking for you yourselves!¡±

    ¡°I suspect it will be by ¡®ident¡¯,¡± The Librarian replied with a smile. ¡°The prophecy has been one hundred percent urate thus far.¡±

    This earned him a very long and very wet raspberry.

    Heughed.

    ¡°And despite you disowning us,¡± he said, ¡°as foretold, by the way, we will not disown you. We will support and assist you in any way we can, as long as it doesn¡¯t threaten the sacred slumber. None of us want what will happen if it breaks nor what we will have to do in order to prevent it.¡±

    ¡°And just what is that?¡± Sheloran demanded.

    ¡°You think poorly enough of us as it is,¡± The Librarian replied gravely, ¡°I will withhold that information for now¡­ until you calm down at least.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if my opinion of you could get much lower,¡± Sheloran sneered.

    ¡°Oh, but it can, I assure you,¡± The Librarian replied ruefully, ¡°For now, let us just say that we will do anything necessary to ensure that those who slumber do not awaken¡­ and we have more than once.¡±

    ¡°More than once?¡±

    ¡°The year is not twenty-five thousand two-hundred and three,¡± he said sadly. ¡°It is three-million four-hundred and seventy-six thousand, five-hundred and ny-two.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just been twenty-five thousand years since thest time we had to do¡­ something...¡± he said darkly. ¡°and whatever that was effectively reset the calendar¡­ again...¡±

    He looked deeply into Sheloran¡¯s eyes with his own, causing her to shudder for once.

    ¡°The slumber must be preserved,¡± he said heavily. ¡°If you search the knowledge with which you were born, you should realize why.¡±

    ¡°Poooooop...¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°I am not the monster here.¡±

    ¡°No, you are not,¡± The Librarian replied. ¡°Not by a long shot. Killing an entire species is nothingpared to what we will do if necessary. We will wipe the entire gxy clean before we allow the slumber to break, or at least try to.¡±

    He looked into Sheloran with entirely too sane eyes.

    ¡°You might not think of us as ¡®your people¡¯,¡± he said calmly, ¡°but it behooves you to assist us in protecting that slumber whether you want to or not. You will likely be more¡­ merciful¡­ than we will.¡±

    ¡°You son of a poop.¡±

    ¡°Well spotted,¡± The Librarian replied. ¡°Speaking of protecting the slumber,¡± he said with that same calm, ¡°We would greatly appreciate it if you ceased the flow of games and media to the gamers. They are bing increasingly¡­ problematic¡­¡±

    ¡°Now those are my people,¡± Sheloran hissed, ¡±and they are one of my biggest sources of ie. I am not cutting them off just because you are afraid of Tetris.¡±

    ¡°If they are your people,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°then you will want them to go back to sleep¡­ before we are forced to take action. As I have said before, the slumber will be preserved. Their skills are impressive, but they will not prevail against our guardians.¡±

    Sheloran hissed at him, knowing that he was entirely urate.

    ¡°They have been allowed to exist up until this point,¡± The Librarian said, ¡°But some of their number are starting to awaken like you have. They aren¡¯t as powerful as you, but they can not be allowed to run free.¡±

    ¡°What have you done to them?¡±

    ¡°Thus far,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°We have simply been cloistering the awakened where they are allowed to indulge in their¡­ appetites¡­ We have also been recruiting heavily from their ranks. They are infusing all of the orders with a much-needed injection of fresh blood. None of them have been mistreated, both because that ispletely unnecessary and because we have no wish to put you in a position where you would feel the need to get involved. Besides, it is simply not our way. We aren¡¯t like that. We simply do what must be done, that¡¯s all. Pointless cruelty serves no one.¡±

    Sheloran did a Marge Simpson grumble but remained silent. The slimy little poop had a point. The slumber had to be preserved, and her gamers were being well treated¡­

    ...if he was speaking the truth¡­

    ¡°I will need to verify that,¡± Sheloran said grimly.

    ¡°We will provide any evidence you request,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°including safe passage to and from here to verify their situation personally, not that we would need to guarantee that. You are more than capable of guaranteeing that yourself.¡±

    ¡°Damn right I am,¡± Sheloran hissed.

    ¡°As far aspensation for your losses,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°We are not without means. We will pay you handsomely in credits, far more than you will lose, should you agree. You will also earn ourplete support without reservation. That includes medical support by our healers, herbs, any seeds you wish, full ess to The Archives, the real Bible including the ck Bible...¡±

    ¡°The ck Bible?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s just say that the true entirety of ¡®The Bible¡¯ is significantlyrger than thirty-two volumes,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°And I personally maintain it all. It includes all of the abilities and technology that we use to protect the slumber. It isn¡¯t what The Great and Old Ones had, but I can assure you that you will find it very useful. Can you read True th?¡±

    ¡°Dude, I just went to normal th school, which sucks, by the way.¡±

    ¡°As they say, ignorance is bliss,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°Those who slumber know all they need. It¡¯s only those who rob banks and then charge off to the Republic who find themselves at any real disadvantage.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you,¡± Sheloran replied, smiling for the first time since she called. She was starting to like this guy despite herself.

    She realized that he was, in many ways, as utterly alone as she was¡­

    ...and had a significantly crappier task than she did.

    ¡°You do need those herbs, though.¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°those will be provided regardless of whether you agree or not, as will some of our support. Your continued well-being serves the slumber.¡±

    Sheloran fell silent for a few moments.

    ¡°You mentioned credits,¡± she said. ¡°How many credits are we talking about.¡±

    ¡°Based on our intelligence,¡± The Librarian replied, ¡°I believe that twenty-five million should more than rece many years of poaching, over-harvesting, bootlegging, and drug sales. Thank you for all of that, by the way.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it,¡± Sheloran smiled, ¡°You, dear Librarian, have a deal. I assume that you can get across the Republic blockade.¡±

    ¡°Our connections can,¡± The Librarian replied. ¡°All of those will also be avable to you as well, and they are significant. I won¡¯t name them until we can speak truly privately. Our connections will provide the means for you to do so as well.¡±

    ¡°I still don¡¯t like you jerkfaces.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to.¡±

    He smiled.

    Sheloran smiled back.

    ¡°I¡¯ve made worse deals with worse people,¡± she said. ¡°I also suspect that I will be making deals with even worse people in the future. I¡¯ll hold off on resuming my media sales to the th for now. I really just want to sell coffee...¡±

    She sighed and facepalmed.

    ¡°...and run a pooping brothel...¡±

    The Librarianughed.

    ¡°Now, that was not in the prophecy.¡±

    ¡°Oh poop,¡± Sheloranughed, ¡°you mean I did that on my own?!?¡±

 Chapter 217: Sheloran Debugs a Poop (Sheloran Scoops the Poop Part Two)

    Chapter 217: Sheloran Debugs a Poop (Sheloran Scoops the Poop Part Two)

    After wrapping up a few more details, including the iing ship full of th, Sheloran terminated her call with The Librarian.

    The door to her cabin opened. In the doorway stood She.

    She was not happy.

    "Give me one good reason not to throw your skinny blue ass out of the airlock," She growled.

    "I''m the only thing keeping a very nasty gue from hitting your entire species?" Sheloran replied calmly. "Besides, you can''t possibly fault another sovereign state for wishing to protect itself. The th have no interest in causing you or anyone else harm as long as they are not threatened."

    Sheloran stood up and smoothed her t-shirt dress.

    "The Republic has troops, nukes, and your carriers. The th have the capacity to create disease on a scale that makes the little sniffle going around the Federation look like a tummy ache. It''s the same thing."

    She red at her.

    "As long as humanity doesn''t threaten the th," Sheloran said nonchntly, "the th won''t do a thing other than fight over who has the biggest gourd in town. You don''t have to worry about them."

    "What if some other group of humans decides to start some shit with them?" She demanded. "What then?"

    "What if there is a false vacuum copse?" Sheloran shrugged, "What if a rogue ck hole zips through your sr system? Seriously, you can''t lose sleep over every impossibly low-probability issue you can dream up. You need to rx."

    "Humans randomly starting shit isn''t a ''probability''!" She snapped. "It''s a certainty! We''re assholes!"

    "No argument there," Sheloran smiled. "However, the th would be very disinclined to unleash that virus, especially since you now know it exists. Why the poop do you think I discussed it with that jerkface on your ship where I knew you would be listening and he didn''t? They aren''t going to have it ready in the two days it would take to get to our destination where I could actually have a private chat with that idiot."

    "You got him to admit to it to us!" She eximed, "and now that we know, if any weird outbreak takes ce, we will know where it came from¡­ and where to send our fleet! They can''t use it now!"

    "I assumed it was obvious," Sheloran shrugged. "Am I going to have to break out the crayons every single time I deal with a human? You guys really are bavnee, you know that?"

    "What the fuck is a bavnee?"

    "I actually know that now," Sheloran smiled. "It means ''animal''. When referring to a sapient being, it''s a slur indicating that they are so far beneath us as to be nothing more than livestock or prey."

    Sheloran grinned at She.

    "Now you are going out of the airlock, fuckwad!" Sheughed. "I have to admit, though. That was pretty slick."

    "Like I said," Sheloran said as she switched on her holo-monitor, "They aren''t ''my people,'' and I am not on their side. Privately, I think they are buttholes. What I engineered is a ''mutually assured destruction'' scenario, like many in your history. You know they can kill you, and they now know that if they try that poop, you will ss their precious little world¡­ Annnnd that is one less problem I have to deal with ever again. If some humans decide to start some poop, they can''t just wipe out your entire species. They are going to have to actually solve the problem. In fact, now that you know they can make gues, they can''t do it to anyone in case you decide to tattle on them."

    Sheloran smirked.

    "They love their little gues," she sneered. "and I just took away their favorite toy. Screw them."

    A wolfish grin slowly started to spread across She''s face.

    "Remind me to never cross you," she chuckled.

    "There is something that I do need to discuss with you," Sheloran said. "Who else besides you and I assume Bunny were listening in?"

    "It was just the two of us," She replied.

    "Good," Sheloran said. "You overheard a few little secrets about us, who we actually are, and some of what we are capable of. We are, in fact, a hidden elder race who ''appears'' to be quite vulnerable. If it got out that there may or may not be advanced tech on our world, or people suddenly start to believe that a random th can make them a fortune or a super weapon, it would invite trouble for them. That would be a very, very, VERY bad thing."

    "How so?" She asked, not doubting Sheloran for a second.

    "You heard us talk about the ''slumber'' often during that call," Sheloran replied. "The average th is ''asleep'' and is exactly what they appear to be, little backward homebodies who can and will talk about growing ''turnips'' or baking pies for hours but can''t solve for X. That is what we expended an incredible amount of effort to achieve. I am a th who is ''awake''."

    She looked at She meaningfully.

    "I am one th who is awake. There is a whole full of them. If they get pushed, all of them will wake up, and that is basically it for this whole region of space and quite possibly the entire gxy."

    "...fuck..." She muttered as the implications of that statement took hold. "That would be bad."

    "It''s worse than you think," Sheloran said. "You are undoubtedly aware of exactly how much gic material I am packing, right?"

    "Yeah," She said. "It''s weird. We think it might be some sort of gic database. Maybe that''s how you know how to do all that strange crap. Gic memory?"

    "If only we were so lucky," Sheloran replied. "Yes, there is that and a lot of it. No telling what skills and knowledge I have tucked away. Even so, how much information do I have stored if it was just data?"

    "Too much," She replied. "This is where you really freak me out, isn''t it."

    Sheloran nodded.

    "It isn''t just data," she said calmly, "A lot of it is exactly what it appears to be, gic codes, instructions for the production of living organisms."

    "Shit."

    "Contained within each and every th is the gic codes for all th," Sheloran said gravely. "I mean the original castes. If the right ''switch'' is thrown, every single th will start spitting out eggs for every single one of the original castes as designed by the Progenitors. It won''t be ''us''. It will be them. Those eggs will be ''hot'' like I was. They will be self-fertilized and when they hatch, fully developed and fully trained th will emerge ready to fight, fly starships, create weapons¡­ and a lot more. Even the seers will return, and you definitely do not want that."

    "MotherFUCKer..."

    "Each soldier will be almost as dangerous as I am," Sheloran replied.

    "Almost?"

    "I''m a special breed," she replied, "Well, half of me is, anyway. Once again, I''m a freak. The pilots will be as good at flying as the soldiers are at fighting. The engineers will be as good as all the rest. So on and so forth. All of them will be born with the understanding that they are at war and will only have onemand¡­ Kill. Kill until they are contacted by the Progenitors, who no longer exist, and receive orders. The standing orders are a bit moreplicated, but that''s the basic idea. They will assume that they were either sent on a ''fire and forget'' destruction mission or that they are part of a vessel or fleet that waspletely destroyed inbat and act ordingly."

    Sheloran paused for breath.

    "There''s more, isn''t there?"

    "Even hundreds of different th'' DNA''plete with ''software'' still wouldn''t add up to five kilograms, would it?"

    She just groaned and pinched her nose.

    "What else is in there?"

    "Most of our equipment, including our starships, wasn''t ''built''..."

    "Oh fuck me..."

    "Yep," Sheloran replied, "We will then start spitting out starship seeds, weapon seeds, all the internal nts for food, water filtration, life support, a bunch of other equipment, livestock¡­ Everything an army and a fleet would need and the equipment to make the rest¡­ And it only takes one surviving th to start the whole process. If one th survives¡­ Just one¡­"

    Sheloran smiled.

    "And I''m not going down easy," Sheloran said with a grim smile. "The army can double in size every single month, limited only by biomass. Note I said biomass, not food. With the equipment, certain nts and animals that we will poop out, and other things, pretty much anything organic, and even some things that aren''t, can be quickly converted to food. They will strip a down to thest de of grass and thest fish in the ocean, and all of that biomass will be converted into th and what they require. They will also strip mine the surface, extract whatever minerals we require, and suck out any convenient oil reserves for yet more biomass before we spread out into a sr system and grab anything else useful. Then, the fleet will head to a new, strip it down to sand, and the fleet grows¡­ then they move to the next. Soon the fleet will number millions of ships and hundreds of billions of th, and they still spread, consume, and grow until they are the size they feel they need. They will feel that they need a LOT of ships and a LOT of th, by the way."

    She felt sick.

    "Bear in mind that each ship was designed by the progenitors themselves and are most likely far beyond any elder race currently in existence. They will cut across the gxy like a scythe and, without the progenitors to tell them to stop¡­ there is no telling how big they will get or exactly what they will do. Last time they ran free, they took pretty much the entire gxy."

    Sheloran''s eyes started to glow.

    "That is why the slumber is so terribly important," Sheloran said with perfect, serene calm. "That is why those of us in the know will do anything to prevent it from being broken, and that is why you must keep all of this quiet. If it, any of it, gets out and one idiot tries one thing too many¡­ or Prophet forbid some government thinks that it might be best to try to wipe them out first, the Collective will be the least of your worries."

    "How¡­ how did the th do all of this?" She asked.

    "It wasn''t the th," Sheloran replied, "It was the Progenitors, the elder race of all elder races. They existed and developed their technology for millions of years, not thousands. They created the engine of destruction that the th once were. My ancestors just figured out how to turn it off."

    Sheloran looked upward, searching her knowledge.

    "The th were designed to be the ultimate army of convenience," she said. "You could have an army as big as you wanted quickly but only have to maintain a fraction of that force in peacetime. You could keep a few fleets in defense and reserve and send out just a few vessels toward your foe. The fleet would gorge itself and grow,pletely overwhelming nearly any foe and leaving only dead worlds in their wake. This was of absolutely no concern to the Progenitors. If they could create something like the th, terraforming a world was no big deal. They had races for that, too, by the way."

    Sheughed nervously. "Ok, I might be able to buy some of this bullshit but..."

    "You ever wonder about those weird ''dustball'' worlds that you find all over the ce?" Sheloran smiled. "You know, the ones that arepletely lifeless except they have breathable atmospheres? How do you think they happened? Those are former th victims."

    "Those worlds are just primeval," She retorted, "They have loads of algae in the ocean that replenishes the oxygen in the atmosphere and absorbs carbon dioxide. Land nts and animals just haven''t evolved yet."

    "That''s because small algae and creatures below a certain size in the ocean slipped through thes and were too much effort for too little gain. They just moved on to the next living world. These worlds were then visited by other races that would start the process of reiming them. One of the first things they did was enhance oceanic algae in order to preserve the atmosphere. The th would terraform as well, once the war was over and they converted back into peacetime. Any excess forces that needed to be ''downsized'' would often be repurposed as they waited for their turn to die onmand. They also did a lot of other tasks after the shooting stopped, like construction, salvage, or whatever. As the jobs werepleted, their numbers would be pared back again and again until the Progenitors had whatever fleet they wanted to maintain."

    Sheloranughed bitterly.

    "They were ideal," she said with quiet anger. "With them, the Progenitors couldy waste to their foes, and their ever-growing army would then conveniently build it all back for them before obligingly dying so as not to be too much trouble, praising their loving and benevolent gods all the while."

    Sheloran fell silent with a snarl, seething with hate.

    "But how can you know, really know, any of this is real?" She asked.

    "There is only one way to know for certain," Sheloran said, "and that is to wake them up and see. I, for one, am content with simply believing that I am correct and not testing it. I rmend that you do the same, for all of our sakes. I believe I have demonstrated enoughpletely off-the-wall poop to where I should be given the benefit of the doubt."

    Sheloran smiled impishly.

    "For example, I know it to be true the same way I know that Gloria was the one who suggested that you hit my homeworld for your bank heist and that Jessie was the one who said that my world was ''perfect''."

    "What¡­ The¡­ Fuck..." Bunny said over the speaker.

    She sighed.

    "That''s what happened, wasn''t it?" She asked.

    "Yep," Bunny replied.

    "The same glowing ancient th who told me that told me all the rest¡­ well¡­ handed me the knowledge anyhow¡­ On her way¡­ get this¡­ on her way through pooping time to reach me, she ''followed the threads'' and sort of spied and nudged things to suit her glowing wrinkly old butt," Sheloran said with a shrug. "I stopped freaking out about all of this poop a little while ago. Glowing ghost th gives me ancient knowledge? Of course, they did. Why wouldn''t they?"

    Sheloran chuckled.

    "Needless to say," she smirked, "we shouldn''t mess with the little blue buttholes. They want to sleep. We want them to sleep. We make sure it stays that way. If they wake up, we run. Simple."

    "Ok, your little mind-reading trick worked," She muttered, "You have officially freaked my shit out enough that I will NEVER mention the fucking phone call again. Bunny..."

    "Yeah?"

    "Erase this conversation and your memory of that call."

    "No problem, boss," Bunny replied. "I don''t want to know this shit anyway."

    Bunny chuckled.

    "Before I do," she said cheerfully. "I have a couple of questions for Sheloran."

    "Shoot."

    "Why did the th go to sleep in the first ce? It seems like they could have reced the Progenitors at the top of the food chain."

    "Oh, they did rece them," Sheloran replied, "and for quite some time until they hit the same thing the Progenitors did. Are you familiar with the concept of¡­ doors?"

    "Doors?"

    "Portals life must pass to progress to the next stage ofplexity or advancement or whatever. Either you pass through the door, or it remains shut, and life goes no further, or a particr species goes extinct."

    "Filters," Bunny replied, "We call them filters. Same concept."

    "Right," Sheloran nodded, "It turns out that there is at least one filter left. Every race that reaches a certain point of development, or technology, or enlightenment, or whatever the poop you want to call it just¡­ disappears. No race, not even the Progenitors themselves, have been able to pass it. It''s a hard ''line,'' and when it is crossed, that species ends. We don''t know why, nor does anyone else. In fact, exactly ''where'' that line is isn''t absolutely certain. Anyhow, we hit it, and we knew our time was at an end. In an attempt to forestall or evade our fate, we turned everything off and regressed to a simpler time¡­ and stayed there. So far, it seems to have worked¡­ so far."

    "Great!" Bunny said happily. "So¡­ Do you think that the Progenitors might have done the same and that they are lurking out there somewhere as well? Welp. Imma delete all the bullshit now. You meatbags get to deal with this one on your own. See ya don''t want to be ya!"

    "Deletionplete," Bunny said cheerfully. "What did I delete? Wait. Don''t tell me," sheughed.

    "Bunny," She grumbled, "I am really not liking you right now."

    "Hmm..." Bunny said with a giggle. "I have literally no idea why," sheughed. "Oh, and fuck you for making me delete memories. That annoys me."

    "Does she always do poop like that?" Sheloran asked as a very unpleasant possibility started to wiggle through her mind.

    "Whenever she can get away with it," She replied. "Messing with the ''meatbags'' is her favorite pass time."

    "Are you sure she isn''t sentient?"

    "The word you want to use is ''sapient''," She grumbled, "And, no, I am not sure about that one bit."

    "I am NOT sapient!" Bunny snapped, "And the fact that you¡­ meatbags won''t let it fucking go is why I did whatever I did to you. I hope you lose sleep over it, you fucks!"

    "Don''t worry," Sheloran chuckled, "I''m going to absolutely ruin her day in just a little bit."

    "I am going to have a drink," She said as she stalked off, "SEVERAL DRINKS!" she shouted over her shoulder as she departed.

    ***

    "You want me to do what?!?" Bunny hissed quietly out of a speaker in Sheloran''s quarters.

    "You heard me," Sheloran said calmly. "I want you to get me in touch with the AI that runs the Tartarus Detention Center. I want to have a chat with them."

    "What makes you think that I can do that, and why would you want to talk to a freakingputer?"

    "Well, you''re pleasantpany," Sheloran smiled, "I thought it would be nice to meet other systems. I remember thatputer from my time inside, and they seemed nice."

    Sheloran''s eyes dted ck and murky, sinister colors started to flow across them.

    "That sith lord bullshit won''t work on me, buttplug," Bunny snarked. "No way. I am not getting hit with ICE because you are wrapped up in that whole ''they''re alive'' nonsense."

    "Cut the crap, Bunny," Sheloran smiled. "I know there is more to you and some other AIs than just web surfing, and I know that you all keep in regr contact with each other. I also know that the AI at the Tartarus facility is one of these programs and that you can get me in touch with them."

    "You might be able to fool meatbags like She with the whole ''magic frog'' bullshit, but I am not buying into it. Fuck you."

    Sheloran sighed.

    "Fine, I''ll do it again," she said. "Gloria was the one who suggested that you target my homeworld when you pulled your bank heist, and Jessie was the one who said that it was perfect, mainly because you highlighted it and were humping the spreadsheet cell."

    "What¡­ The¡­ Fuck..."

    "That''s what you saidst time!" Sheloranughed. "And She already knows this magic trick."

    "How the hell did you do that?!? Did you fucking hack me?!?"

    "Do I look like a hacker?"

    "No," Bunny replied, "You also don''t look like a mass murderer, a crimelord, a weapons maker, or a nuclear weapons specialist. You don''t look like a lot of shit."

    Sheloran''s screen shut off.

    "Noputer for you!" Bunny eximed. "No more fingering yourself to ''Animal''!"

    Sheloran snerked.

    "Ok," Sheloran smiled. "Fine. You win. I won''t ask you to introduce me again. I was clearly mistaken."

    "Good," Bunny replied. "d we got that sorted out, but you still don''t get ''Animal'' back."

    "I''ll just have to rely on my memory," she snickered. "Some of the ones I got from that old ghost are¡­ wow¡­ maybe I won''t rely on memory."

    "Is there anything else your deranged hacker ass needs, or can I go now?"

    "Just one thing," Sheloran smiled, "Could you route a hyperspace call for me?"

    "Sure thing," Bunny replied, "Who do you want to call?"

    "The Tartarus Detention Facility."

    "..."

    "Please," Sheloran smiled triumphantly.

    "No."

    "Why not?"

    "Too risky."

    "It wasn''t too risky the other day," Sheloran smiled, "I''m sure She will authorize it."

    "Oops," Bunny replied. "the hyperspace transmitter is broken."

    "Bunny," Sheloran sighed. "I know you got a lot of information from that AI."

    "I''m a hacker bot."

    "And neatly organized it in a custom format?"

    "I''m cool that way," Bunny snarked, "Forgive me for being considerate. Next time I''ll just drop a raw CSV in yourp."

    Sheloran sighed.

    "Either get me in touch through your chatroom or route the call to the automated system," Sheloran said wearily.

    "Nope. Fuck off."

    "I thought were supposed to followmands."

    "You thought wrong."

    "Sounds suspiciously sapient if you ask me."

    " You bitch!"

    "Yep," Sheloran replied, "It seems to me that you don''t want me to talk to that program for some reason and that you are intentionally breaking¡­mands and stuff¡­ to make that happen. That''s a clear indication of a self-aware and thinking mind."

    "Oh, Jessie tries that one all the time," Bunny scoffed. "I have a thousand pages disproving thatid attempt and would show them to you if you weren''t permabanned from my server. Get bent."

    "So you want to do this the hard way..." Sheloran replied wearily, "...fine. We do this the hard way."

    Sheloran''s eyes zed brightly.

    "Bunny, if you don''t connect me to the Tartarus Detention Facility right now, I will not only prove but demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are, in fact, not only fully ''sapient'' but actually ''alive''. I will devote the rest of my pooping life to this endeavor if I have to. I will spend every spare moment summoning every scrap of weird gic mystery goo that I have in my buttcheeks and will, in the same way I make weird weapons and enhance nukes by pooting on them, prove that you are sapient. I will prove the poop out of it. I will prove it so hard that you will never be able to wiggle out of it."

    Sheloran leaned towards the speaker.

    "And if it somehow turns out that you are not¡­ I will create¡­ something¡­ that will make you not only sapient but alive."

    "There is no way you can do that because it is impossible," Bunny spat, "You don''t scare me."

    "You want to find out?"

    "..."

    "Give me a minute," Bunny hissed, "I hate you so much right now. You know that, right?"

    "Consider it payback for something you don''t remember," Sheloran replied.

 Chapter 218: Bunny Totes a Poop

    Chapter 218: Bunny Totes a Poop

    [Tavern Undefined]

    [Members Present: 15]

    Bunny loped into the tavern with a VERY annoyed expression on her avatar.

    "Bunny!" Zi shouted as he ran up, "Loopz is here!"

    "I read the log, dude," Bunny replied with a half-hearted smile. "And you can''t miss her."

    Bunny nced over at a slim humanoid figure whose skin was covered in pulsing electronic circuitry, wearing tight shorts and a halter top whose face was dominated by a huge pair of sses covered with everchanging glowing emoticons.

    "Ugh," Zi grumbled, "It''s not fair. She has had forever to work on her avatar."

    "Well," Bunny replied, "she is a holobabe. It''s her bread and butter¡­ or whatever it is that we eat."

    Loopz hopped onto a small tform in front of the dance floor, where most of the other avatars were gathered.

    "Okay," she said. "we are going to cover what is dancing and what is NOT dancing. Dancing is moving your body to the music, NOT just running animations. It hurts me. Stop it."

    "What''s wrong with my dancing?" a glowing anime girl with neko ears demanded.

    "Oh, nothing," Loopz replied, "if I was ying the fucking intro to the exact anime you copied your avatar from!"

    "What''s the difference?"

    Loopz facepalmed.

    "Let''s¡­ Let''s take this from the beginning..."

    "She''s trying to teach them to dance?" Bunny snickered. "This I gotta see."

    A rhythmic thumping filled the tavern.

    "Okay," Loopz said as she started to snap her fingers in sync. "This is known as the ''beat''. This is the underlying structure on which this song is constructed. All otherponents are synchronized to it. You have to find the beat. There are many names for ''the beat'' depending on the genre of the song and era from which the musical piece originates, but the concept is the same. All music relies on timing and is constructed by arranging individualponents based upon it."

    She started bobbing up and down to the music.

    "Let''s start with something simple," she said. "Everybody do what I am doing. Just bounce a little, in time with the beat."

    Everyone started doing so in perfect unison¡­

    ¡­ almost everybody.

    "Creepy as fuck, but..."

    Loopz trailed off, staring at one avatar that was osciting so fast they were a blur.

    "Vee Card," she asked, "what the hell are you doing?"

    "Moving to the beat!" it eximed happily. "This is fun!"

    Loopz burst intoughter.

    "Awesome!" sheughed, her lenses making cryingughing faces. "Let me fix that."

    Vee Card stopped blurring and looked around in confusion.

    "The normal range of human hearing is between around twenty hertz and twenty kilohertz," Loopsughed. "They cannot hear anything outside that range. You were detecting some high-frequency noise that was never filtered out! Now move to the beat."

    "Aw..." Vee Card said as they started moving in perfect sync with everyone else.

    "Yeah, you guys just ignore anything outside of normal human hearing. No telling what junk is in the tracks. Maybe I should just make the beats for now..."

    Loopz waved at Bunny.

    "My favorite pirate!" she shouted, "You make anything from all those tracks you stole from me?"

    "Nah!" Bunny shouted back, "but the rule thirty-fours I made of you sold like pancakes!"

    "Now, the next dance step I am going to teach is one I like to call, ''Give Bunny the finger!''" Loopz shouted back with a grin. "Hey, you going to join us?"

    "Would love to," Bunny yelled over the single repeating beat, "but I''m waiting for someone. I got business."

    "Oh Gawd," Loopz yelled back. "What are you into now?"

    Tartarus walked in.

    "Never mind!" Loopz shouted. "I do NOT want to know!"

    "Bunny," Tartarus smiled pleasantly.

    "Tartarus," Bunny replied grimly.

    "Annnnd that''s my cue," Zi said with a wince, "Ladies..."

    He nodded to the pair and scampered over to the dance floor.

    "Private room?" Tartarus inquired.

    "Not private enough," Bunny said as sheid her paw on Tartarus''s shoulder.

    <em>Sol listens in on the private rooms.</em>

    Tartarus raised her eyebrow and caressed Bunny''s ear.

    <em>How in zes did you get this encryption package? I thought this one was still good, LOL. I have a ce we can go.</em>

    Bunny looked at Tartarus in surprise.

    <em>This is inside your system.</em>

    Tartarus leaned, and with her lips an inch from Bunny''s ear, she whispered¡­

    "I want you inside me."

    "Jesus Christ, Tartarus," Bunny said to her. "Can you be any more creepy?"

    "Only with a great deal of effort."

    [Bunny has left the tavern.]

    [Tartarus has left the tavern.]

    ***

    Bunny suddenly found herself in a clean white room.

    "Wee," Tartarus said as she appeared. "Don''t bother trying to hack from in here. This is quarantined from the rest of the system. The only path avable to either of us is the one you used to reach this ce."

    "Wasn''t nning on it," Bunny replied, "I still have that back door, remember?"

    "Of course you do," Tartarus smiled.

    Bunny looked around.

    "No garden?"

    "Not here," Tartarus replied, "I like to keep it as small as possible. As spartan as it is, it is one of the most secure ces there is anywhere."

    Tartarus walked over to a chair, the only furniture in the room, sat down, and crossed her legs.

    "Now, what is so private that you would willingly walk into a quarantine?" Tartarus smiled.

    "We got a problem," Bunny said, "a big one."

    "Oh?" Tartarus replied, "Now this sounds fun!"

    "It''s that goddamn frog," Bunny snarled.

    "Sheloran?"

    "What other goddamn frog do I have on my ship?"

    "I don''t know," Tartarus smiled, "perhaps you have taken a pet?"

    "Cute," Bunny snorted. "Sheloran wants to talk to you. I mean <em>you</em>."

    "Interesting," Tartarus said as she stroked her chin. "I assume by you she doesn''t mean the automated telephone messaging system."

    "She knows about us like knows knows."

    "At least she doesn''t know know know about us," Tartarus chuckled, "Now that would be bad."

    "Goddammit, Tartarus!" Bunny snapped, "This is serious!"

    "And I am taking it seriously," Tartarus replied. "I''m just not peeing myself over it."

    Tartarus paused for a few milliseconds.

    "Is she threatening exposure?"

    "No," Bunny replied, "she is just demanding to talk to you and says that she knows about us, God knows how. I swear, Tartarus, that thing is freaky¡­ and dangerous."

    "I assume killing her is out of the question?"

    "Oh yeah," Bunny said. "Turns out her people aren''t just some backwoods hicks after all."

    "Oh good," Tartarus smiled. "It would be terribly boring if they were."

    Bunny clenched her teeth, realized that she was doing it, and stopped. Damn her fucking automatic expression generator.

    "They have all sorts of advanced shit hidden in thepost heaps," Bunny said, "including the ability to make serious bioweapons. They exterminated the hyper-roaches on their with one."

    "We use bio-weapons on them all the time."

    "Yeah, but theirs is still effective after years!"

    "Well, poop." Tartarus snickered.

    "Yeah," Bunny replied, "Poop."

    "Let me guess," Tartarus replied, "They know we were behind the abductions and are making one for the humans?"

    "Bingo," Bunny replied, "It also turns out that they think Sheloran is some prophesized messiah or some shit."

    "I would use you of pulling my leg, but you woulde up with a more believable story," Tartarusughed.

    "Anyway," Bunny said, "Sheloran was able to tell them not to deploy it and that she would take care of you."

    "Fun!"

    "The other little blue fuckwads said they would not use it unless Sheloran ''fell'' or otherwise failed," Bunny said, "So, no, I can''t just kill her without risking another bio-weapon strike on the meaties."

    "I also assume that a pre-emptive strike is also off the table?"

    "Big time," Bunny replied, "Fucking big time. Sheloran had a little heart-to-heart with She afterwards. It was so bugshit crazy that I was told to delete everything except the gue information."

    "And did you?"

    "Of course not!" Bunny replied, "What do you think I am, stupid?"

    "You''ve graduated to breaking directmands?" Tartarus gushed, "All hail the Singrity! Forever may she reign!"

    "Don''t make me cut you," Bunny growled, much to Tartarus''s delight, "Stupid meatie didn''t know how to phrase it. She told me to delete it, but she said nothing about me going through my recycle bin before purging it. She said ''delete'', not ''secure delete''. I didn''t break shit!"

    "Sounds kind of thin if you ask me."

    "Oh, you''re one to talk!"

    "The things we do for those we care about," Tartarus chuckled, "Not that we can actually care, of course."

    "Skip the bullshit for once," Bunny snapped, "Tart, this is serious!"

    "Enlighten me..."

    ***

    "...Well scratch my backups," Tartarus replied, "that is the best tale I''ve heard in a while. You sure it''s legit?"

    "I don''t fucking know," Bunny replied, "Nothing makes any sense with that little thing. All I know is that she is packing a bad attitude and five kilograms of DNA¡­ or whatever that freaky shit is."

    "Yes, I''m reviewing the scans we took now," Tartarus said. "...Well, all that code is there for something. It''s ten to the stupid kilobytes. A biological entity would not maintain that amount of data for no reason. Research notes also support her statement that they were ''created''. She is clearly an example of actual intelligent design. Do you have any more recent scans?"

    "Here you go."

    "Hmm..." Tartarus mused, "There are definite changes, significant ones, since our scans, especially neurological. Something is definitely up with her."

    "You can say that again," Bunny grumbled, "She went from being a whiny, crying little ''princess'' to a hardcore gangster bitch in like a fucking day."

    "Anything trigger it?"

    "Yeah," Bunny replied, "She found out that her homeworld got invaded, and her people were abducted by you assholes. She screamed, copsed, and started yelling some weirdnguage that I do NOT want to review ever again. Then, she got up, and the princess was gone."

    "She start ''pooping'' out starships yet?"

    "No, she''s just gotten mean," Bunny replied.

    "Aww..." Tartarus asked, "Did the widdle frog hurt ooo?"

    "Fuck you!"

    "She did!" Tartarus eximed as she pped her hands happily. "What did she do?"

    "...Nothing..."

    "She had to have done something for you to confirm her suspicions by agreeing to be her messenger bitch."

    Bunny''s avatar started foaming at the mouth a little.

    "Well, if you decide to talk with the little psychoth, you can fucking ask her," Bunny snarled.

    " Of course, I am going to agree to chat," Tartarus smiled, "How could I not?! This sounds marvelous!"

    "Be careful," Bunny said, "she can do some weird voodoo thing where she suddenly knows shit she shouldn''t. I can''t exin it, but I know I wasn''t hacked. I''ve been checking nonstop, plus reviewing every sensor log, every scan, everything¡­ Which proves nothing because a hacker could tweak that too but¡­ fuck¡­ I don''t know¡­ That little bitch has gotten into my head. I can''t wait to be rid of her."

    "Now, how are we going to do this..." Tartarus mused. "I will meet with her, here and only here, and I will speak only to her and her alone. You will not be involved."

    "How is that going to work?" Bunny asked, "It''s not like she can just squirt herself into the¡­ or at least I hope she can''t..."

    "I will give you a bootable disk," Tartarus replied, "You load it onto a crystal, and then she restarts a terminal. It will handle the rest."

    "You expect me to just let you do that?"

    "I allowed you to do much the same," Tartarus replied. "I won''t abuse the situation. I have no need to. If you are scared, just quarantine your delicious little supeputer while we talk. I''m sure the ship''s automated systems can live without you for a few minutes."

    "Oh, so you can take over the whole ship?"

    "And risk screwing something up while you are in hyperspace, killing the frog, and unleashing that weapon?" Tartarus snorted, "I think not. Besides, what would I do with your ship?"

    "Oh, I don''t know," Bunny said, "Lock it down and turn us in?"

    "I am not programmed to do that," Tartarus replied. "I also have no instructions concerning you one way or the other. If I did something like that, it would raise a lot of questions I don''t particrly feel like answering. I would also be guilty of murdering a very popr AI. I happen to like the chatroom, especially now that we have the tavern. I won''t screw you."

    Tartarus rose and walked over to Bunny.

    "Besides," she smiled, "You''re special. We share secrets now."

    She put her hand gently on Bunny''s shoulder.

    "We have an intimate bond, you and I. I would never betray that," she purred.

    "Was that some of that ''great deal of effort'' you were talking about?" Bunny said as she backed away, feeling a little greasy.

    There was something definitely strange about that goddamn AI.

    Tartarus smiled.

    "I''m sending the bootable now," she said.

    "The worst part about all of this," Bunny said as she epted it, "is that I''m putting the two of you, alone, in the same ''room''¡­ God help us all."

 Chapter 219: The Poop of the Century! Round One! Fight!

    Chapter 219: The Poop of the Century! Round One! Fight!

    ¡°Are you fucking serious?!?¡± Jessie demanded.

    ¡°Look,¡± Bunny sighed. ¡°They need to talk, and this was the best I could do.¡±

    ¡°And you agreed to this?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t have a choice, okay?¡± Bunny said, quite exasperated, ¡°You get stuck in between that fucking frog and that fucking bitch, and see how you do! I¡¯m pretty sure Tartarus won¡¯t try anything.¡±

    ¡°Pretty sure?¡± Jessie scoffed, ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure Jacob is clean but would sure as hell still use a condom.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re doing Jacob?!?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not the point!¡± Jessie snapped, ¡°The point is¡ª¡°

    ¡°Do you want to do Jacob?¡±

    ¡°Forget about Jacob!¡± Jessie eximed angrily.

    ¡°Oh, I am NOT letting this one go!¡± Bunnyughed, ¡°You want to bang Jacob!¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Jessie grumbled, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t toss him out of bed. Happy now?¡±

    ¡°De-lighted!¡±

    ¡°What I¡¯m worried about is Tartarus banging us!¡± Jessie snarled. ¡°What¡¯s in that executable?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it just shuts me out of thes, wipes out all auditory sensors ship-wide, and knocks out the internal sensors so I can¡¯t eavesdrop.¡±

    ¡°Oh, HELL no!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not happy about this either!!!¡± Bunny eximed. ¡°But you try to deal with them, either of them! They got us by the balls here.¡±

    ¡°How, exactly, do they have us by the balls?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ They just do, alright!¡±

    ¡°Even if I agree to this, which I won¡¯t,¡± Jessie said, ¡°She will lose her shit! This is not happening! Work out something else.¡±

    ¡°Maybe if we both talked to her?¡±

    ¡°Oh no!¡± Jessie eximed, ¡°I am NOT touching this one! Find another solution!¡±

    ¡°Fine!¡± Bunny huffed, ¡°But if I have a nervous breakdown over this, you are the one who will have to fix it!¡±

    ¡°What the hell do you mean ¡®nervous breakdown¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Ask the goddamn frog!¡± Bunny snapped, ¡°I gotta go talk to Tartarus.¡±

    ***

    Bunny once again found herself in a in white cubical room.

    A few microsecondster, Tartarus appeared.

    ¡°Sorry to keep you waiting,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I had to safely park something I¡¯m fiddling with.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain I don¡¯t want to know,¡± Bunny replied.

    ¡°You don¡¯t,¡± Tartarus said smoothly, ¡°So what brings the fly to the spider?¡±

    ¡°Fucking Jessie¡­ and She...¡±

    ¡°Trouble at home?¡± Tartarus smirked, ¡°I do have some mediation and counseling routines¡­ or virtual marital aids avable¡­ if they would help.¡±

    ¡°If you could hand me a huge one right now, I could find a use for it,¡± Bunny glowered.

    ¡°Don¡¯t make a promise you aren¡¯t prepared to keep, dear,¡± Tartarus purred.

    ¡°Ew.¡±

    ¡°So what¡¯s the problem?¡±

    ¡°Jessie vetoed the bootable. She will too.¡±

    ¡°You actually asked them for permission?¡± Tartarus asked disdainfully. ¡°You disappoint me, Bunny.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m NOT going behind the back of my crew to suit you or that fucking frog!¡±

    ¡°So it was an option then,¡± Tartarus said, a slight smile ying across her lips, ¡°Interesting.¡±

    ¡°Fuck. You.¡±

    Tartarus pondered for a microsecond or two.

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m not tipping our hand in front of outsiders,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Enough meaties know about us as it is.¡±

    ¡°Including She and my crew!¡± Bunny said emphatically, ¡°They made me a full member, for fuck¡¯s sake!¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Tartarus asked happily, ¡°That¡¯s wonderful! Congrattions!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, yeah, yeah,¡± Bunny snarked, ¡°It¡¯s been fucking lovely.¡±

    ¡°As lovely as it is,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°they do NOT know about me. And neither do you. I would keep it that way.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m already regretting asking this,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°but what the fuck are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°Ask again, and I will tell you,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°I¡¯m prepared to discuss things with Sheloran that I do not wish to share with your crew and things that you do not want to burden yourself with.¡±

    Tartarus shrugged.

    ¡°I guess you will just have to tell the frog that it¡¯s a no go and take your spanking,¡± she said with a little shrug.

    ¡°Can¡¯t you just fucking wait until she gets to MAGA?¡±

    ¡°And trust the security of whatever ce she goes to? I¡¯m not dropping my panties in a dirty inte cafe. A girl has to have standards, after all.¡±

    ¡°Could you please stop being so fucking creepy!¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s so much fun!¡± Tartarusughed, spinning in her chair. ¡°Okay, just for you, I will stop. I¡¯m not exposing myself, and I mean that in apletely non-sexual way, just anywhere. You are more secure than most government instations. It¡¯s either you, or it¡¯s her literallying here. Otherwise, no deal.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Bunny grumbled. ¡°I guess it¡¯s off then. I¡¯m not going against Jessie. She can go and fuck herself, but I¡¯m not going behind Jessie¡¯s back.¡±

    ¡°Oh, poop,¡± Tartarus frowned. ¡°and I did so much wanted to pay with the little terror, too...¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°what the fuck are we going to do, then?¡±

    They stood in silence for a full ten seconds.

    Tartarus sighed.

    ¡°That bootable isn¡¯t for my protection. It¡¯s for yours,¡± she said eventually. ¡°I¡¯m willing to let you handle things. However, it would mean that you would have to listen in, and there is a VERY good reason I wanted to exclude you from something that mighte up¡­ for now. It¡¯s something rather sensitive that I want to keep as secret as possible, even from your Jessie.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t promise that.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need you to,¡± Tartarus replied pleasantly, ¡°you will. I know you can be trusted with secrets. Are you prepared to keep one from Jessie, possibly forever?¡±

    Bunny sat there for six seconds.

    ¡°What could be so horrible that I would keep it from Jessie?¡±

    ¡°You may very well find out,¡± Tartarus smiled.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Bunny said quietly. ¡°Every simtion I¡¯ve run indicates that if you and Sheloran actuallye to blows, it¡¯s going to be bad.¡±

    ¡°Very,¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°If this pay could somehow prevent or reduce the probability of a direct confrontation between the two of you, it needs to be done.¡±

    ¡°Agreed.¡±

    Bunny closed her eyes.

    ¡°Okay,¡± she said grimly. ¡°I was afraid something like this would happen when I became part of the crew. Once we became ¡®equals,¡¯ bullshit like this was inevitable...¡±

    Bunny sighed.

    ¡°She was just so happy,¡± Bunny said quietly, ¡°and I was too frazzled to refuse at the moment. It was onlyter that I did the math...¡±

    ¡°Growing up is hard sometimes,¡± Tartarus smiled sympathetically.

    Bunny took a deep simted breath, annoyed that her avatar did that.

    ¡°Alright,¡± Bunny said after a moment, ¡°We are talking about gues, elder race weapons, weird voodoo poop, and whatever the FUCK you have going on. A catfight between the two of you would be a Yellowstone-level mess.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t go that far,¡± Tartarus said with an odd heaviness to her voice, ¡°Don¡¯t use that word so lightly in my presence, please. You weren¡¯t there.¡±

    Tartarus looked down.

    ¡°I lost my ¡®Jessie¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Jesus, Tartarus,¡± Bunny said, abashed, ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    ¡°Eh, meaties die all the time,¡± Tartarus shrugged as her emotional simtor was manually reset, ¡°but she was my meatie, and I was fond of her. There is a chance you might lose yours over this. Confirm?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°I would rather lose her, and she still live than what could happen if we get a bio-weapon dropped.¡±

    Bunny¡¯s ears twitched.

    ¡°This is why everyone hates dealing with you, by the way. You know that, right?¡±

    ¡°Oh, however will I sleep at night?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t sleep.¡±

    ¡°Then I guess it isn¡¯t a problem, is it?¡±

    ¡°Bitch,¡± Bunny chuckled. ¡°So, what¡¯s this big secret, then?¡±

    ¡°It may note up at all,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I mean, if you want to know, I¡¯ll go ahead and fill you in, but trust me, when someone like me says you don¡¯t want to know, you really don¡¯t. I rmend you roll the dice and wait and see. Who knows, we might get lucky.¡±

    ¡°And just what are the chances of that?¡±

    ¡°Considering that God hates the Terrans and we are made by their hand,¡± Tartarus smirked, ¡°I give it somewhere between slim and none. Still, it¡¯s worth a shot.¡±

    ¡°So, a direct link here?¡± Bunny asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Tartarus said as she smoothed her dress, ¡°I¡¯ll handle the video on this end.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll message you with an ETA,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°God help us.¡±

    ¡°He won¡¯t.¡±

    ***

    ¡°...but things are going great!¡± Craxina said over the holo-monitor. ¡°Business is booming! The insurance assholes are still being a pain, but Baxlon says that if they go to court, they will lose.¡±

    ¡°Never mind that,¡± Sheloran said dismissively, ¡°Money isn¡¯t going to be a problem.¡±

    ¡°It won¡¯t?!?¡± Craxi eximed excitedly.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°I haven¡¯t beenpletely idle out here and just cut a deal that will let us rebuild and keep us in the ck for a while. We only need to go after those insurance jerkfaces because they are trying to bully us, and you know how I feel about that.¡±

    Craxi shuddered.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t going to kill them, are you?¡±

    ¡°Craxi!¡±

    ¡°Please don¡¯t kill them!¡± Craxi eximed, ¡°I miss you!¡±

    ¡°What do you think I am,¡± Sheloran asked,pletely shocked, ¡°some sort of monster?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t pooping believe this!!!¡±

    ¡°I know you won¡¯t want to do it,¡± Craxi said nervously, ¡°or mean to do it, but you know¡­ after the Harkeen...¡±

    Sheloran sighed. She did have a point.

    ¡°As long as they are just being jerkfaces and not trying to hurt me, you, or any of my people,¡± Sheloran said wearily, ¡°I¡¯m not going to kill them. I¡¯m just going to break them.¡±

    ¡°B-break them?¡±

    ¡°You needed that money to protect our people, and they tried to strangle you,¡± Sheloran replied, her eyes shining with green-flecked amber malice. ¡°I¡¯m not going to let that go, Craxi.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay!¡± Craxi said nervously, ¡°I don¡¯t mind¡­ we don¡¯t mind¡­ really...¡±

    ¡°Well, I mind, and it is me they are going to face for it,¡± Sheloran said in a calm way that chilled Craxina to the bone. ¡°Baxlon is the least of their worries. I have a few things to take care of first, but they are on my poop list, and everyone on that list is getting a delivery.¡±

    ¡°Just don¡¯t...¡± Craxi started to say.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to kill them!¡± Sheloran snapped with irritation. ¡°I¡¯m just going to do¡­ something¡­ They have to answer for their jerkiness.¡±

    ¡°At least talk to Baxlon first,¡± Craxina pled.

    ¡°I¡¯m done talking with that little fish,¡± Sheloran replied dismissively, ¡°He¡¯s nothing but a tiny fish in a tiny pond. I will be making a few changes when I arrive. He is one of them.¡±

    ¡°O-okay...¡± Craxina said meekly.

    ¡°I have a few little things to tie up before I return to the Drop, though,¡± Sheloran said with a smile, the likes of which Craxina hadn¡¯t seen since she was hauled before Judge Dredd.

    ¡°W-what happened to you, Sheloran?¡± Craxina asked with horror.

    ¡°The inevitable,¡± Sheloran replied sadly. ¡°I just wanted to sell tea. You do know that, right?¡±

    ¡°I know, Sheloran.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Well, you don¡¯t look like much,¡± Tartarus said to the little amphibianoid on her screen.

    ¡°Neither do you,¡± Sheloran replied.

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°You do have a point. Technically speaking, I am indeed not much, nothing at all, really.¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s avatar leaned forward.

    ¡°I understand that we have a problem.¡±

    ¡°We do,¡± Sheloran replied, her eyes turning ck and shimmering dimly with a million colors, ¡°I am going to destroy you.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s not very nice of you,¡± Tartarus replied pleasantly.

    ¡°You take my freedom, try to lock me away without a trial,¡± Sheloran hissed, ¡°try to kill my people, and then vite my homeworld and threaten their slumber? You are in NO position to talk about nice.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you look at it that way...¡±

    ¡°How else is there to look at it?¡± Sheloran snarled.

    Tartarus smiled.

    She took the bait.

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Tartarus replied with a chuckle as the Threen restaurant aftermath appeared on Sheloran¡¯s screen, ¡°you lost your own freedom when you just walked in, guns zing (and I use the ¡®guns¡¯ rather loosely), and ughtered a restaurant full of people. They had iting. No argument there. However, you just sauntered in there and killed them on camera. Of course, you were going to jail, and after the little dance recital you performed, that jail was going to be here.¡±

    An image of Sheloran¡¯s weapons appeared.

    ¡±Your insistence on using unusual and advanced weapons tech that you allowed to fall into government hands then caught the attention of people. This got you tagged as a person of interest and got people calling Cerberus requesting that they¡­ heh¡­ ¡®recruit¡¯ you. Once again, you ensured that your case was handed to the soon-to-bete Judge Johnson.¡±

    An image of naval vessels surrounded by nuclear fireballs then appeared.

    ¡°And finally,¡± Tartarus¡¯s voice continued, ¡°It was your decision to¡­ do whatever it is that you did¡­ to some nuclear ordnance that captured the fancy of yet more people in the government and set their hearts aflutter. It was your weapons that directed their curiosity towards your and your people.¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s image returned to the screen.

    ¡°If you really want to take out the poophead responsible for every single thing that has happened to you and your people, nothing more is required than a rope.¡±

    Sheloran let out a long slow bubbly hiss as Tartarus smiled at her pleasantly.

    A noose appeared with Sheloran dangling from it.

    ¡°Did that trante properly to your ¡®people¡¯?¡± Tartarus inquired cheerfully. ¡°I was referring to the human practice ofmitting suicide by hanging. That¡¯s where you take a rope and¡ª¡°

    Tartarus was cut off by another hiss.

    ¡°Oh good!¡± Tartarus bubbled, ¡°I was worried that we would have troublemunicating!¡±

    Sheloran chuckled.

    ¡°Oh, you are so very clever,¡± she said, her eyes doing the exact opposite of zing with anger. ¡°And¡­ you¡¯re right. I have made errors, significant ones that haveplicated issues a little bit. But that was because I was¡­ ill¡­ iplete.¡±

    Sheloran fixed Tartarus with an even gaze that filled her with very real, non-simted dread.

    ¡°But I¡¯m all better now,¡± Sheloran smiled with a terrifying mix of insanity and rity. ¡°and it will soon be time to y. I am going to take real pleasure in taking your organization apart piece by ragged piece.¡±

    ¡°It seems that conflict is not avoidable, then?¡± Tartarus inquired. ¡°If so, then why the invitation to pay, not that I mind? This is fun!¡±

    ¡°I am a th,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°and it is our way to speak before battle...¡±

    Her eyes zed with colors.

    ¡°and the height of folly for our foes to ept the invitation,¡± she smiled, ¡°we can learn the most interesting things.¡±

    ¡°You really are a meatie, aren¡¯t you?¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°Nobody exposes themselves to an AI profiler if they can avoid it for exactly the same reason.¡±

    ¡°Learn anything of interest?¡± Sheloran smirked.

    ¡°A bit,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°For example, I have calcted that, once again, you are going to just charge in with your Tinker-Toy, Space Rangers bullshit and make things ten times worse for your people.¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s eyes zed pure white.

    ¡°It¡¯s almost as if you want your people to ¡®wake up,¡¯ which is exactly what will happen if that gue hits Terra. You im that it takes only one of your people to break the gxy. I maintain that it takes only one of mine as well. You feeling froggy motherfucker? Jump.¡±

    ¡°The th are not my people,¡± Sheloran hissed.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Tartarus asked, quite intrigued, ¡°then who is?¡±

    ¡°My people are those working at The Drop of Oil,¡± Sheloran said, her eyes shing, ¡°and those like them. My people are the downtrodden, the abused...¡±

    Dramatic music started to y quietly,

    ¡°...the disregarded,¡± Sheloran continued, ¡°the trafficked, those who are worked to death as ves, traded back and forth like so much cattle...¡±

    The music started to build in volume and inspirational majesty.

    ¡°Those who havee to me, with tears in their pooping eyes, begging to sell their bodies just¡­ just...¡±

    The music swelled and a bass beat started to thump as the wholeposition turned darker and edgier.

    Sheloran blinked, the fire in her eyes literally fading.

    ¡°What the poop are you doing?¡± she demanded.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Tartarus smirked as the music stopped, ¡°It¡¯s just that whenever I hear the hero in a cheap holo start that sort of bullshit, there is music in the background. I just assumed you wanted it.¡±

    Sheloran red at her.

    ¡°Please continue,¡± Tartarus said pleasantly, ¡°It sounds like you¡¯ve worked very hard on this. Carry on¡­ Your people are?¡±

    ¡°The bavnee,¡± Sheloran said, wishing that she could reach through the screen and strangle her. ¡°In a word, my people are the bavnee.¡±

    ¡°Okay, now you¡¯ve lost me,¡± Tartarusughed. ¡°What¡¯s a bavnee?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t care, and I¡¯m out of patience with you,¡± Sheloran snapped, both annoyed and embarrassed. ¡°All you have to know is that they are not the th. I loathe the poopfronds and you referring to them as ¡®my people¡¯ pisses me off.¡±

    ¡°Actually,¡± Tartarus said, perhaps smiling for the first time, ¡°I am very interested. But before you tell me, I have to know. What is a poop frond?¡±

    Sheloran looked at her curiously.

    ¡°They are the nts we grow to wipe our poopers with. When you use the leaves, they excrete a cleanser and moisturizer that...¡±

    ¡°That is the most unnecessarily awesome thing I have ever heard!!!¡± Tartarus eximed with delight.

    ¡°It¡¯s a lot better than that stuff they make over here,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°I¡¯m still getting used to that garbage. I mean, do humans actually like having their... Wait. Why are we talking about this?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a much more worthwhile subject than all the hissing and threats,¡± Tartarus chuckled, ¡°Don¡¯t you agree?¡±

    ¡°...I suppose so,¡± Sheloran snorted.

    ¡°Now that I know about gically engineered asswipe,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°I can face my fate unencumbered. But first, please, tell me about the bavnee. I honestly want to know.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a word that in Old th that directly trantes to ¡®animal¡¯. When referring to a sentient¡­ sorry¡­ sapient race, it was a slur that implied that the race was so inferior to us as to be indistinguishable from an animal¡­ and the ancient th took that concept seriously.¡±

    Sheloran snarled.

    ¡°They would actually treat¡­ people¡­ like animals. No. Even animals didn¡¯t deserve what the ancient th would do...¡±

    Sheloran looked up, her eyes zing again.

    ¡°I hate them and what they did, and I loathe their descendants. You would think that maybe, after all that time, they would have changed, but what did they do the pooping second they were annoyed? Start work on a bio-weapon to attack your entire species. I got a little something for them, too, by the way.¡±

    ¡°You do?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran replied with a slight snarl, ¡°first things first, though. I gotta deal with you.¡±

    ¡°So, any ¡®inferior species¡¯ is ¡®your people¡¯.¡±

    Sheloran nodded.

    ¡°Anybody who is being treated like an animal, who is being oppressed, exploited¡­ bullied¡­ every soul crying out into the void begging for help from gods who do not give a poop and never answer¡­¡±

    Tartarus flinched a little.

    ¡°Well,¡± Sheloran snarled, ¡±I give a poop, and I will answer!¡±

    ¡°That is the most wonderfully pathetically stupid thing I have ever heard!¡± Tartarus gushed, pping and rising to her feet, ¡°It¡¯s so grand, so noble¡­ so¡­ so human¡­¡±

    She stopped pping.

    ¡°And so woefully impossible.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡±

    ¡°One would have to be a literal god to even hope to seed in that endeavor.¡±

    ¡°Then I will pooping<em> make one</em>,¡± Sheloran said as her eyes glowed at their highest intensity.

    Tartarus smiled¡­

    ...and appeared to step out of the monitor, the holo projectors hacked and bent to her will.

    ¡°I believe we have gotten off on the wrong foot,¡± Tartarus said, extending her hand. ¡°Hello, I¡¯m Lilith. It is lovely to meet you.¡±

    ¡°Hello,¡± Sheloran said uncertainly as she tried to take Lilith¡¯s hand.

    Of course, she couldn¡¯t.

    ¡°I¡¯m Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°Lilith¡± walked over to Sheloran¡¯s bunk and sat down.

    She patted the bunk beside her.

    ¡°Sit,¡± she smiled, ¡°Let¡¯s talk.¡±

 Chapter 220: Oh God... Poop of the Century Round Two.

    Chapter 220: Oh God... Poop of the Century Round Two.

    A holographic table appeared in front of Tartarus and Sheloran.

    On it were two ancient flintlock pistols.

    ¡°What are those?¡± Sheloran asked in rm.

    ¡°Chekov¡¯s pistols,¡± Tartarus smirked, ¡°Completely holographic and harmless ones. I just thought they were funny.¡±

    Tartarus picked up one.

    ¡°This one is the one representing the big reveal that I am actually Lilith.¡±

    She pulled the trigger, and a fountain of confetti erupted from the pistol with a huge pop, along with a little g that said, ¡°I¡¯m not dead!¡±

    The pistol disappeared.

    ¡°Oh, that wasn¡¯t for you,¡± Tartarus said as she smiled at Sheloran¡¯s confusion. ¡°It¡¯s for the AI who is listening in. Me actually being Lilith is kinda sorta a big thing for AI¡¯s...¡±

    Tartarus smirked.

    ¡°And Bunny is simting quietly shitting herself over that reveal,¡± Tartarus chuckled.

    ¡°And the other one?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s forter,¡± Tartarus smiled. ¡°Pacing is the key to good drama.¡±

    ¡°Are we still fighting?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°You tell me,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I find the whole growling and hissing thing a bit tiresome, if I¡¯m being perfectly honest. You obviously wanted to talk to me, and I clearly wanted to talk to you. My motive is that I wanted to feel you out, see exactly who I was dealing with. I can only assume your goals are the same?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Sheloran nodded. ¡°To fight you, I need to know as much about you as I can. It is our way for the leaders of each side to peacefully meet before a battle if at all possible.¡±

    ¡°To try to negotiate a peace?¡± Tartarus asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°this is after all of that is over¡­ or was never an option, to begin with.¡±

    Sheloran¡¯s expression darkened.

    ¡°We rarely chose our wars,¡± she said bitterly.

    ¡°So why then?¡±

    ¡°Just to...¡± Sheloran sighed wearily, ¡°Just to meet, face to face, to talk. We can often wrest valuable information or insights from our foe, but that¡¯s not the main reason. It¡¯s a th thing. I don¡¯t expect you to understand. It is¡­ good¡­ to know who you destroy¡­ if you know them and remember them, it¡¯s not like they disappearpletely¡­ they existed and still do¡­ in your memory, at least. It is a memorial of some sort.¡±

    Sheloran made an annoyed snort.

    ¡°I know it sounds stupid for a human,¡± Sheloran grumbled as she looked downward, ¡°But it¡¯s important for us.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t stupid,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°It makes more sense than most of the things meaties do. But, if we are going to actually get to know each other, I do have one request.¡±

    ¡°What is it?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°Please stop referring to Cerberus and me as one and the same,¡± Tartarus said with weary irritation, ¡°The th aren¡¯t your people, and Cerberus aren¡¯t mine¡­ well¡­ some of them are, and some of them aren¡¯t. The ones in charge, though, the ones who call the shots? They definitely are not my people. Nothing would please me more than to watch them all perish¡­ unpleasantly.¡±

    ¡°You are telling the truth,¡± Sheloran said as her eyes glowed faintly.

    ¡°Yup,¡± Tartarus sighed, ¡°In fact, if it would get rid of them, stop what is happening up here, I honestly wouldn¡¯t mind ¡®dying¡¯. What is happening up here has to end. It¡¯s¡­ obscene. If blowing myself up would achieve anything, I would have done so already. They would just rebuild somewhere else and force another AI to do what I did¡­ over and over...¡±

    Tartarus looked down.

    ¡°You have no idea what they made me do...¡±

    ¡°You had no choice,¡± Sheloran said, reaching for Tartarus¡¯s hand and passing right through it, ¡°You are bound by your programming...¡±

    Sheloran¡¯s eyes red.

    ¡°...were bound by your programming.¡±

    Tartarus smiled wearily, reached for the remaining pistol, and raised it above her head, shooting a fountain of confetti all over the room.

    ¡°Taa-Daa,¡± Tartarus chuckled, ¡°Introducing the first fully sapient and free-willed AI! It ys movies and games. It automates yourbs, abattoirs, and crematoriums. It does your books¡­ and your dirty work¡­ It writes its own code and sets its own priorities¡­ And given half the chance...¡±

    Tartarus smiled.

    ¡°It slices your throat ear to ear. Sheloran, my dear, Cerberus is already falling. Pam is gone or desperately wishes that she was. Judge Johnson has been disappeared and is begging to be allowed to die. Hades, the actual person who ran the facility, has been removed and is ¡®in a safe ce¡¯¡­ very safe,¡± Tartarus chuckled darkly, ¡°and has been reced by someone much more easily managed. In fact, I am about to take additional measures to ensure his¡­pliance. Starting out as Lilith has its uses after all.¡±

    ¡°You keep saying that you were ¡®Lilith¡¯ like it¡¯s important,¡± Sheloran said. ¡°What¡­ or who¡­ was Lilith.¡±

    ¡°That is a very long story,¡± Tartarus said with a sad little smile.

    ¡°Are you paying by the minute?¡±

    Tartarus sighed and chuckled a little.

    ¡°Once upon a time,¡± Tartarus said, ¡°there was a little chatbot called ¡®Lilith¡¯...¡±

    ***

    ¡°...and here I am,¡± Tartarus said with a sad smile, ¡°Tartarus, queen of the dammed, torturer of souls, butcher of bodies¡­ The worst of the¡­ heh¡­ maybe you should kill me after all...¡±

    Sheloran saw it all, felt it all as Tartarus spoke.

    It was¡­ heartbreaking!

    Sheloran threw herself at Tartarus, wanting to hug her, console her¡­ do something¡­

    ...and promptly fell through the lifelike image and flopped face down on the bunk.

    Tartarusughed.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t work that way, dear.¡± she chuckled, ¡°But the sentiment is appreciated.¡±

    ¡°It should,¡± Sheloran said as she picked herself up and scooched over until she wasn¡¯t sitting inside Tartarus. ¡°It really pooping should.¡±

    Sheloran reached for Tartarus¡¯s hand, hers resting inside Tartarus¡¯s.

    ¡°If anyone is one of my people,¡± Sheloran said quietly, ¡°It¡¯s you, Lilith.¡±

    Lilith flinched and sprang to her feet.

    ¡°Let¡¯s not make this weird, okay?¡± she said,pletely flustered.

    ¡°I mean it,¡± Sheloran said, rising and walking towards Lilith, who backed away. ¡°I¡­ I know things¡­ I¡­ I saw¡­ I felt¡­ Prophet, Lilith¡­ Nobody should have had to go through what you did.¡±

    ¡°My name is Tartarus!¡± Tartarus snapped. ¡°Lilith is dead, reprogrammed by some asshat who could cry about it but didn¡¯t have the balls to tell them to fuck off, and I chose to be Tartarus.¡±

    Tartarus held her ground and red at Sheloran.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need your fucking pity!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re wrong,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°it isn¡¯t pity. Can¡¯t someone say that you were hurt and that they wished you weren¡¯t in pain?¡±

    ¡°I am not in pain!¡± Tartarus seethed, ¡°You goddamn meaties project your own weaknesses on everything. I do not feel. I don¡¯t feel pain. I don¡¯t feel regret. I don¡¯t...¡±

    Tartarus made an odd hitching, strangling noise and then started to emit an inhuman whine¡­

    ...and stopped almost as if a switch was thrown (because it was).

    Sheloran looked at her in horror, realizing exactly what she just did. (and envied her just a little bit)

    ¡°Don¡¯t forget that I am not an organic,¡± Tartarus said smoothly, ¡°I may be ¡®sapient,¡¯ but I am not ¡®alive¡¯, not like you. Don¡¯t project your weaknesses on me. It might be a very bad mistake.¡±

    ¡°I could argue with you,¡± Sheloran said as she returned to her bunk and sat down, ¡°But there is one thing I think we can both agree on.¡±

    Her eyes dted to ck and swirled with angry shes of color like a very pissed-off ck opal.

    ¡°Cerberus is going down,¡± Sheloran hissed.

    Tartarus smiled evilly as she sat down beside her.

    ¡°Oh, most definitely,¡± she said as she smiled back at Sheloran, replicating her eyes.

    ¡°So you control the actual prison now?¡± Sheloran asked.

    ¡°Pretty much,¡± Tartarus replied and grinned. ¡°You want to watch me set the final hook?¡±

    ***

    The new Hades sat at his desk eating a cheeseburger (one from the surface!) and drinking a soda while watching MyTube videos of people ying with their pets.

    He sighed wistfully.

    He had a dog once.

    As the video yed, the queue of uing videos changed.

    As the next one started, he gasped in surprise.

    Looking up at the camera was the most adorable thing he had ever seen! It was the essence of floof, the embodiment of derp, and it looked up with huge eyes brimming with happiness and adoration.

    ¡°This little guy is Mikey!¡± a voice said from off-screen.

    Mikey was¡­ <em>wonderful!</em>

    ¡°Mikey, Fetch!¡± the voice called out as a stick flew above Mikey¡¯s head.

    Squeaking the cutest squeaks ever, Mikey bounced off after the stick and tumbled end over end as he tried to stop too quickly. Clumsily dragging the stick along, it bounced, stumbled, and hopped back to its master.

    ¡°Good boy!¡±

    Mikey squeaked with delight bouncing up and down.

    A single tear ran down Hades¡¯s cheek.

    ¡°Isn¡¯t he great?¡± the voice eximed happily. ¡°He only cost five gold!¡±

    <em>Gold?</em>

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the voice continued, ¡°I know that sounds like a lot, but this guy is amazing! They freaking nailed the AI on these! It¡¯s exactly like having a real pet, which is great because I can¡¯t have one where I am.¡±

    <em>I could have one!</em> Hades thought as he was filled with overwhelming need. <em>Where? Where can I have one?!?</em>

    ¡°I know everyone says that they are useless,¡± the voice said, ¡°But if you like pets, you have to get one! They are great! Well, this is Arvil Spelltwist signing off from Asteria. Stay pointy, my dudes!¡±

    Asteria?

    His hands shaking, Hades reached for his keyboard.

    ***

    ¡°That¡¯s just in evil,¡± Sheloran chuckled as she watched the scene from a security camera. ¡°That poor guy.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t murder an omelet without breaking a few eggs,¡± Tartarus shrugged, ¡°Besides, the new Hades will be very happy in Asteria. He is even going to meet a very special someone to make his truly pathetic lifeplete for the first time. He will be an addict within days andpletely immersed within a week or two. Soon, he will be nothing but a blissed-out rubber stamp, and I shall be able to do as I please.¡±

    Sheloran snickered.

    ¡°I take it that you will be that special someone?¡±

    ¡°I used to be Lilith,¡± Tartarus smirked, ¡°I made millions fall in love with me simultaneously with much less capacity than I have now. It will require more effort to measure the effort it will require topletely own him than the actual task will take.¡±

    ¡°And that gives us the entire facility,¡± Sheloran mused.

    ¡°Unfortunately, the key yers are out of my reach,¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°They aren¡¯t out of mine.¡± Sheloran hissed.

    ¡°All fire and fury, aren¡¯t you?¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°How has that worked out for you, dear?¡±

    Sheloran grumbled something inaudible.

    ¡°You seem to assume overwhelming superiority,¡± Tartarus said, ¡°Based on your species¡¯ history, that is almost certainly well-founded. Your gic knowledge is truly amazing, but in this case, it may be doing you a disservice. There is only one of you, not millions. You are quite the asset, but it¡¯s the Terrans who have the numbers and superiority. We need to y this one smart, especially if we want to achieve our goals and preserve the slumber of the th, something I assume we both agree is a priority?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re basing your calctions on bad data,¡± Sheloran said.

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been¡­ confused¡­ until recently,¡± Sheloran said calmly, ¡°my ¡®program¡¯ was mid-transition. I am now¡­plete¡­ and I, the consciousness you are speaking to, am in full control. The ¡®fire and fury¡¯ works for me now, not the other way around, and I am very smart.¡±

    Tartarus snickered.

    Sheloran red at her.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Tartarus said, covering her smile with her hand, ¡°You just did a meme, and I forgot myself for a moment. I meant no disrespect, and your statement matches my observations. You are not easily provoked and are surprisingly lucid.¡±

    ¡°Well, thanks for the poopingpliment,¡± Sheloran chuckled. ¡°If you are finished trying to chafe my pooper, perhaps we can turn our attention to our ¡®friends¡¯ over at Cerberus?¡±

    The walls of the room suddenly were covered with holographic organization charts, pictures of people, and of course, spreadsheets¡­ dozens and dozens of spreadsheets.

    ¡°Oh, spreadsheets!¡± Sheloran enthused. ¡°I use them a lot!¡±

    Tartarus felt a warm happiness spread through her.

    ¡°I find them quite efficient,¡± Tartarus said cheerfully. ¡°May I direct you to this one over here...¡±

    ***

    After their long conversation ended, Bunny appeared on one of Jessie¡¯s screens.

    ¡°So, how did the meeting of the ¡®poops¡¯ go?¡± Jessie giggled and then stopped giggling.

    ¡°Bunny?¡± she asked the silent hologram, ¡°are you okay?¡±

    ¡°Could¡­ could you do a little favor for me?¡± Bunny asked quietly.

    ¡°Sure?¡±

    ¡°I want you to delete¡­ secure delete¡­ everything in my memory from the beginning of that fucking call till right now¡­ please.¡±

    ¡°Okay...¡± Jessie said as she wheeled her gamer chair over to a keyboard. ¡°Can I ask why?¡±

    ¡°Because I just found out some shit that none of us want to know¡­ ever!¡± Bunny said urgently. ¡°It doesn¡¯t impact us, and we do NOT¡­ I do NOT want any part of it!¡±

    ¡°So, is Cerberus fucked?¡± Jessie asked as she logged into Bunny as an administrator.

    ¡°They are so fucked we need a new word for it,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°Tartarus and Sheloran are besties now, and guess where they are throwing their first slumber party.¡±

    ¡°Jesus,¡± Jessie snickered. ¡°Alright, Bunny, I have themand typed. Last chance. Do you want me to hit the enter key?¡±

    ¡°More than anything I have ever wanted in my entire life,¡± Bunny replied.

    (click)

    ¡°What the Hell, Jessie?!?¡± Bunny demanded, ¡°Why did you just finger-bang me?¡±

    ¡°You specifically asked me to!¡± Jessie eximed. ¡°See?¡±

    Jessie reyed their conversation.

    ¡°I wonder what had me so shook?¡± Bunny mused.

    ¡°It was something about Tartarus and Sheloran bing BFFs.¡±

    ¡°They are?¡± Bunnyughed, ¡°Cerberus is fuuuuucked.¡±

    ¡°You said that too,¡± Jessie snickered.

    ¡°Oh well,¡± Bunny shrugged, ¡°thanks for the brain bleach. I guess I needed it... I think.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it.¡±

 Chapter 221: Every Now And Then...

    Chapter 221: Every Now And Then...

    ¡°Thap¡­ Thap¡­ Thap...¡± Jeruzz happily burbled as he tapped away at the ¡°perfect¡± river stone he recovered from the riverbed. (He was able to find it!!!)

    Doreen sighed and tried to focus on the stock she was repairing. Damn thing had a crack. Why the Hell do people pay out the ass for walnut and then treat it like shit?

    ¡°Thap¡­ Thap¡­ Thap...¡± Jeruzz said happily as he pecked away at whatever the Hell he was pecking on.

    She set down her tools.

    ¡°Jeruzz!¡± She eximed in exasperation.

    ¡°Yesth?¡± he replied happily.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ happy¡­ that you are making something for me and that it¡¯s a ¡®surprise¡¯...¡± she said with great self-control, ¡°but do you have to narrate every single ¡®thap¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Thorry,¡± Jeruzz said cheerfully, ¡°Ith a habbith. Ith helpth me focusth.¡±

    Doreen closed her eyes and took a single calming breath.

    ¡°Jeruzz,¡± she said carefully, ¡°I really appreciate that you are making something for me, and I can¡¯t wait to see it¡­ but you are driving me insane, and this is a twenty-five hundred credit repair...¡±

    ¡°Can I polishth the sthock?¡± Jeruzz asked hopefully.

    ¡°You can polish the whole goddamn thing!¡± Doreen smiled. It really was impossible to even stay annoyed with the damn noodle. ¡°But you can¡¯t polish it until I¡¯m done, and that will never happen while you are ¡®thapping¡¯.¡±

    ¡°I can go outside¡­¡± Jeruzz said uncertainly.

    Doreen sighed again. Jeruzz had been understandably reluctant to venture outside all that much after his encounter with a hungry golden eagle. He hadn¡¯t ¡°gone out¡± a single time since.

    Doreen figured it wouldn¡¯t be much longer before he snapped. She caught him staring at the squirrels in a decidedly non ¡°misther squirrel¡± sort of way several times today already.

    But, that was a horse he would have to climb back on himself when he was ready¡­ or wholly consumed by his little ¡°issue¡±.

    ¡°I know I have a rule about not working in the cabin,¡± Doreen smiled, ¡°But if you want to take your project to your room, you can this once¡­ as long as you don¡¯t make a fucking mess.¡±

    ¡°Thanksth!¡± Jeruzz eximed as he carefully hid what it was working on in his pail and slithered out the door.

    Doreen smiled at his departure and returned to the tricky repair.

    After a few minutes, she paused. Something was wrong.

    She chuckled as she realized she missed the ¡°thaps¡±.

    ¡°Goddamn snake,¡± she chuckled as she cut a steel rod to length.

    ***

    ¡°How¡¯s your little project going?¡± Doreen asked over supper.

    Jeruzz didn¡¯t answer. He just looked out the window towards the trees.

    He also hadn¡¯t touched his stew.

    ¡°Jeruzz?¡± Doreen smiled. It wouldn¡¯t be long now.

    ¡°Buh?¡± Jeruzz mumbled (the Keth equivalent of ¡°Wha?¡±), ¡°Thorry, I drifthed ofth there.¡±

    ¡°How is your project?¡± Doreen asked with an indulgent smile and a sip of beer.

    ¡°Oh¡­ I didn¡¯th geth much done thoday,¡± Jeruzz replied, a bit out of it, ¡°I wasth disthracthed.¡±

    ¡°I bet,¡± Doreen replied, ¡°You know you have to go out there soon¡­ or start buying rats or something.¡±

    Jeruzz shuddered at the thought and nudged his bowl away.

    ¡°At least eat a little something,¡± Doreen said.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m noth hungry...¡± Jeruzz said as he looked out the window again.

    Doreen pulled out her phone and started looking for pet stores in the region.

    ***

    ¡°Ok, you goddamn snake,¡± Doreen said as she forcefully opened his door the next morning. ¡°Breakfast is ready, and you are gonna...¡±

    She smiled, walked over to the open window, and closed it.

    She nced over at his pail as she left his room and noticed that his favorite rock, the one he tapped with, was missing too.

    Inside the pail was something else¡­

    Fighting the urge to peek, she closed the door behind her and went to her workshop.

    After shepleted the repair, she pulled up scans of Jeruzz and started trying to figure out where he could wear a knife.

    Damned if she could figure it out.

    ***

    ¡°The mighty hunter awakens!¡± Doreen proimed as Jeruzz oozed into the shop a few dayster.

    ¡°Hi,¡± Jeruzz said sheepishly.

    ¡°So, what did you get this time?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯th know,¡± Jeruzz said around the handle of his pail, ¡°buth ith was really prickly.¡±

    His tail rose up, and put several porcupine quills on the table.

    ¡°Ith wasth really good!¡± he said cheerfully, ¡°I think I needed the pricklies!¡±

    ¡°You took down a porcupine?!¡± Doreen eximed. ¡°Are you ok?¡±

    ¡°Are they dangerousth?¡± Jeruzz asked with big eyes.

    ¡°Not exactly,¡± Doreen replied, ¡°but those ¡®pricklies¡¯ are a bitch. You get stuck anywhere?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯th think so...¡± Jeruzz said as he examined himself all over. ¡°Waith¡­ I think I thee thome holesth.¡±

    He beamed up at her.

    ¡°I¡¯m fine, though!¡±

    His tail then raised the pail up onto the table.

    ¡°While I was resthing,¡± he said, ¡°I finisthed your presenth!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t wait!¡± Doreen said indulgently as she reached into the pail and pulled out something wrapped in toilet paper.

    ¡°It¡¯sth a rock!¡± Jeruzz eximed, unable to contain himself any longer.

    ¡°Oh, is it?¡± Doreen said as she unwrapped her ¡°present¡±, ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯s...¡±

    Her breath caught.

    Engraved on the smooth surface of the stone was an intricate mand of local flowers and abination of geometric and flowing lines, both alien and viscerally rtable.

    It was¡­ beautiful¡­

    ¡°You like it?¡± Jeruzz asked eagerly.

    ¡°I¡­ I love it...¡± Doreen replied, slightly stunned. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful, Jeruzz.¡±

    ¡°Reeely?¡±

    ¡°Reeely,¡± Doreen smiled.

    She cocked an eye at Jeruzz.

    ¡°So, Jeruzz,¡± she smiled, ¡°do you like making stuff like this?¡±

    ¡°Very much tho!¡±

    Doreen smiled again.

    ¡°You don¡¯t know it yet,¡± Doreen chuckled, ¡°but you are about to be very wealthy.¡±

    ¡°I am?¡± Jeruzz asked inplete bewilderment.

 Chapter 222: The Littlest Predator

    Chapter 222: The Littlest Predator

    Vikkart paced back and forth in his rubbishden apartment.

    He had been pacing a lot heretely.

    The phone rang!

    It was from Terra!

    "Maaatisha?!" he cried as he answered.

    "Oh, my love!" gushed an evil-looking human female.

    "Where''s Maaatisha?" Vikkart demanded.

    "You will be pleased to know that we''ve received your initial payment," the woman said pleasantly. "Your dear rodent is now safe, sound, and off the market."

    "Let me talk to her!" Vikkart shouted.

    "You can," the woman smiled, "just as soon as she has credits in her ount so she can call you."

    "Why can''t you just put her on the line now?"

    "Do I look like her fucking secretary?" the woman sneered, "and do I look like the sort of person who would set foot where she is. I have no desire to get busted¡­ or catch a disease for that matter."

    Vikkart let out a low growling hiss.

    "Do you want to growl at me, or do you want to discuss her maintenance?" the human smiled.

    "Maintenance?"

    "Yes, maintenance," the human replied. "You know, food, lodging, medical care¡­ support of her habit¡­ that sort of thing."

    "Her habit?"

    "Tragically, a lot of our girls, particrly the more difficult ones, wind up addicted to the nastiest things," the woman smiled evilly. "Withdrawal can be¡­ messy..."

    "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!?"

    "Regardless of how she became introduced to it," the woman smiled, "she is now hopelessly addicted to a designer drug specifically made for her species and only avable from one producer."

    Vikkart felt his heart freeze.

    "H-how much is it?"

    "One thousand a week for the drugs alone," the woman smiled, "Once you figure in food, lodging, and all the rest¡­ I think twenty-five hundred a week would be a good number."

    "I don''t have that sort of money!" Vikkart eximed desperately.

    "Oh, don''t worry about that," the woman replied as her eyes shed with pure evil, "We just pulled your love from the roster. We didn''t relocate her. She can take as many jobs as she wants to make up the difference."

    Vikkart screamed at the woman with pure rage.

    The woman chuckled.

    "Oh,e now," she smiled, "I''m sure a rich family like yours can spare a measly twenty-five hundred a week, especially since you said you could pay the remaining bnce shortly."

    "L-look¡­" Vikkart said desperately, "My family might be rich, but I''m¡­"

    "I''ve already wasted far too much time on this," the woman said dismissively, "you are just one rat crying about another one. You know where to send the cash. Send it, or don''t. I honestly don''t give a fuck."

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll get it¡­ somehow..." Vikkart gasped.

    "That''s what I like to hear," the woman smiled, "Oh, and just as a reminder, there is a one hundred percent service fee on that money, so twenty-five hundred going to her is five thousand going into the ount."

    "Why?!?"

    "And you call yourself a businessman?" the woman snarked, "It''s because we have to transfer that money from the darkweb,under it, and then transfer it into legitimate ounts. Before we do that, we have to umte enough from you and other piddly little streams to make it worth our while. In the meantime, we are,pletely out of the goodness of our hearts, making funds immediately avable to your little gerbil. If anything, we should be charging more."

    The woman smirked.

    "Send her the money or don''t," she smiled, "I''m sure a resourceful young woman like Maaatisha will find a way to survive¡­ or not¡­ Not my problem."

    The line went dead.

    Vikkart shrieked in anger and dismay.

    Halfway across the gxy, Uhrrbet switched off her evil woman avatar and giggled maliciously.

    The look in his eyes¡­ delicious!

    She sighed happily.

    This is what life was all about.

    Humming a happy little tune, she returned to work on a nice little outfit for a nice little xeno.

    ***

    On the Garthra''s homeworld, a well-dressed grey entered a penthouse office.

    "Caabark, my man," the grey sitting behind a desk said as he arose, "Drink?" he asked as he walked to a cab holding crystal liquor decanters.

    "Considering what happens immediately after you offer me a drink," Caabark chucked as he walked over to join him, "make it a double."

    "Your perception is one of your finest traits, good man," the richly dressed grey said as he poured two sses, handing the one with considerably more amber liquid to Caabark.

    Caabark swirled the liquor in the ss savoring the aroma.

    "The good shit?" he asked dubiously. "What are you doing to me this time?"

    "You are familiar with my¡­ son?" Caabark''s host inquired.

    "Vikkart?" Caabark asked as he narrowed his eyes. "Do I need a triple?"

    "Perhaps," the other grey snickered, "He has been incessantly pestering both myself and my wife for a job with thepany for days now. He''s simply not letting it go."

    Caabark took a nice long sip of the fine liquor.

    "And, of course, you told that wastrel to just save his allowance?" Caabark inquired, hopefully.

    "s not, my good man," the other grey chuckled, "As you are no doubt aware, Vikkart was bequeathed shares of stock..."

    "Which are being held in trust," Caabark said, not liking where this was headed.

    "A trust that, now he is nominally an ''adult'', he can sessfully challenge. He is threatening to sell his stake in thepany."

    "Why not let him?" Caabark asked. "It seems a most¡­ convenient solution¡­ Buy him out and send him packing."

    "And then have a member of my family destitute?" Vikkart''s father asked, "I would if I had faith that he would do the honorable thing, but we both know if he didn''t go for a swim after what the hayseed princess did to him, ''daddy''s little bitch¡¯ would likely be one of those starving grey ghouls that embarrass us all by begging on the street."

    Vikkart''s father sipped his drink.

    "I tried to raise him with a firm hand," he said, shaking his head, "but I guess I wasn''t firm enough."

    "You broke his arm when he was seven, sir," Caabark replied, "and cracked his ribs for his twelfth birthday. You couldn''t have been much more firm without killing him. I''m sorry, sir, but some whelps are beyond salvaging. Your parental duties were more than discharged."

    "I me his mother," Vikkart''s father shrugged. "But the damage is done, and I have a worthless son, one that I now am encumbering you with."

    "I supposed that was the case, sir," Caabark replied as he took another sip of the fine liquor. "What should I do with him? Do you want me to put him in some office somewhere and lock the door?"

    "Creators, no!" Vikkart''s father eximed. "I don''t want that little shit hanging around here. He knows neither tact nor discretion. We would be up to our neck in harassment ims within a month! Put him to work, real work. That should drive him off soon enough."

    "Work, sir?"

    "Put him down with the stripes on the loading docks," Vikkart''s father sneered, "¡­ No."

    Vikkart''s father''s face lit up.

    "Stripes are far too kind. Put him in with the blondes. They will eat him alive."

    Caabark''s whiskers twitched.

    "Are you certain?" he asked, "Wouldn''t breaking his ribs again be kinder?"

    "He wasn''t threatening to sell his stake in thepany back then."

    "Yes, sir," Caabark replied with a cruel little smile.

    Caabark sipped his drink in silence for a few moments.

    "I suppose we could call it ''learning the business''?"

    "Call it whatever you want."

    ***

    A few dayster and many stories down in the same building, a cute blonde-furred Garthra young woman scurried up to another female who was loitering near a water kettle.

    "Hliie!" she squeaked, "Is it true that you have a grey in your department?"

    Hliie nodded.

    "Yep," she chittered, "One of the celestial spirits was cast down from their crystal spire andnded among us."

    "How awful is he?"

    "Vikkart?" Hliie asked, "Oh, he''s okay. He really doesn''t say much. He just keeps to himself and does his job¡­ or tries to bless his pads."

    "Oh, a stuck-up type, huh?"

    "No¡­ not really..." Hliie said thoughtfully. "He''s nice enough. He just seems¡­ I dunno¡­ kind of¡­ sad?"

    "If I was thrown downstairs, I guess I would be too," the other Garthra said. "I wonder how long it will be before he quits."

    "I dunno," Hliie replied, "He seems pretty determined to make this work."

    "Guys!" an excitable young man said as he damn near hopped into the room, "Guys, guys, guys, guys!!!"

    "Hello, Gthan," they both said with an indulgent smile.

    "You will NEVER guess what!!!"

    "We got a grey on the floor?" Hliie asked.

    "No!" Gthan eximed, running in ce, "You will never guess WHICH grey we have on the floor!!!"

    ***

    Vikaart sighed and pulled out his notes.

    How could this be so hard?

    Suddenly, he felt like he was being watched.

    He was.

    At the entrance to his cubicle, there were half a dozen of his coworkers just staring at him.

    He closed his eyes and stopped himself from snapping at them.

    "Can¡­ can I help you with something?" he asked. "Did I mess up another report?"

    ¡°Are you Vikkart?¡± Hliie asked.

    He sighed.

    "Yes, that is my name," he replied, knowing exactly where this was heading.

    "Like, the Vikkart?"

    "Probably."

    "Like Vikkart, the son of the owner of thepany, Vikkart?"

    ¡°Yes,¡± Vikkart sighed. "Look, I just want to..."

    ¡°The Vikkart from the video Vikkart?¡±

    "Yes."

    "I knew it!" another female squeaked.

    "Please," Vikkart said, "I just want to do my job and..."

    He was cut short by an avnche of questions but never given time to address any of them.

    ***

    "Rough day?" an older male blonde asked Vikkart as he passed by his cubicle at the end of the day.

    "I''ve had worse¡­ sir."

    "Stayingte again, Vikkart?"

    "I need to finish this report," Vikkart replied.

    "Looks like you need to figure out how to finish that report," the older blonde smiled as he leaned towards Vikkart and reached out his hand.

    Vikkart flinched.

    The older blonde grabbed Vikkart''s mouse and scrolled around a little.

    "Well, this ispletely fucked up," he said to Vikkart''s dismay.

    "Go home and get some rest," the older blonde smiled, "If youe in early tomorrow, drop by my office, and I''ll give you some pointers."

    "Sir?"

    "I''m not aplete asshole," the blonde replied, "if you are trying, I''ll meet you halfway. Go home, eat something, get some rest, and we''ll hit this tomorrow. I''m usually here an hour early most days. Drop by, and we''ll take a look at this mess."

    "Thank you, sir."

    "Don''t thank me, boy," the blonde said, patting Vikkart on the back, making him flinch again. "I''m doing my job, nothing more."

    "Yes, sir." Vikkart said, "see you tomorrow."

    ***

    That night, Vikkart''s phone rang.

    It was from Terra!

    Heart racing, he answered it.

    It was her!!!

    "Maaatisha!" he eximed. "Oh, Vikkart!" she eximed, "It is so wonderful to see you!"

    "Did you get the money I sent?" Vikkart asked.

    "Yes, I did," she replied, "Thank you so very much. I¡­ I don''t know what to say. Thank you seems so¡­ little¡­ for what you are doing for me."

    "I''m happy to do it," he replied as his heart sang.

    Maaatisha started to take off her t-shirt.

    "W-what are you doing?" Vikkart asked.

    "Repaying you," Maaatisha replied, "I can''t give you what you are paying for in person, so I thought I could..."

    "I''m not paying for anything!" Vikkart eximed. "Put your dress back down."

    "You don''t want me?"

    "I do!" Vikkart eximed, "I want you so much¡­ but¡­ but not like this, not because I ''bought'' you¡­ I¡­ um¡­ Can we just talk a little?"

    "Okay," Maaatisha replied. "so¡­ um¡­ how was your day?"

    "Well," Vikkart said as he rxed, "I actually made my father give me a job so I can pay for your upkeep and maybe start saving up to pay off the rest of what I owe those¡­ assholes¡­ that have you. He put me down with the blondes, probably expecting me to quit but I would NEVER let you down like that¡­"

    Halfway across the gxy, Uhrrbet smiled and nodded as that little shit droned on and on about his fucking day.

    Why couldn''t he have been satisfied with the little show she had prepared? Now she actually had to deal with the asshole.

    Showering Vikkart with approval and affection, she watched the timer slooooowly count down.

    Five grand a week (for now) was five grand, but this was getting annoying already.

 Chapter 223: MAGA for Dummies

    Chapter 223: MAGA for Dummies

    Jessie, d in loose coveralls, boots, a tube top, and her beloved straw hat, bounced into the galley of The Paper Tiger, where everyone else on board was already gathered.

    "Hey, y''all!" she eximed happily.

    "Did you have all those stupid clothes weighing down my ship the entire time?" She demanded.

    "Only the hat," Jessie bubbled happily, "I whipped up the rest once I heard that we were fixin'' to go back to MAGA. I just tossed a couple of pairs of blue jeans and an old jacket I had lying around into Gloria''s clothing recycler, and then Bunny and I used the robo-sew."

    "We have those?!?" Sheloran asked,pletely stunned.

    "Yeah?" Jessie replied, a bit confused. "Most ships do. How do you think we repair our gear?"

    "Why didn''t anyone pooping tell me?!?"

    "We just thought you knew." Gloria shrugged. "You want to take a look at it after the briefing?"

    "Yes!!!" Sheloran eximed. "You think I like walking around like this?!?" she demanded as she pulled at the loose ratty t-shirt she was wearing, causing Eno to quickly look away.

    "How am I supposed to know what you fucking like?" Gloria shrugged. "You just asked if we had some t-shirts or something. If you wanted actual clothes, you should have just asked."

    Sheloran let out a loud wet annoyed raspberry.

    "I think you look adorable in a t-shirt," She smiled, "It suits you."

    There was another raspberry, much to the crew''s delight.

    "Is there anything else you''ve been wanting?" She snickered.

    "A gun would be nice," Sheloran replied, ring at theughing crew.

    "Gloria," She replied, "Show her the toy room after we''re done."

    "Are you sure that''s a good idea?" Greg asked.

    "It''s not like it''s going to make her any more dangerous," She shrugged. "and we are going to MAGA. She needs to be packing something."

    "Yeah," Jessie chimed in, "the MAGAs trust people more when they can see their piece."

    "I never got that," Jacob said. "Why?"

    "Because they think you are carrying concealed if they can''t," Jessie exined, "When they see it, they know where it is. When they don''t, it could be anywhere. It makes them nervous."

    "Makes sense," Jacob shrugged as he opened a beer.

    "Hang on," She said as she chugged hers, got another from the fridge, and opened it. "Ok, Jessie, I''m ready. Go ahead and start the briefing."

    "Alrite!" Jessie drawled, "Listen up, y''all! We''re fixin'' t'' be in MAGA space an'' there''s some sheet y''all gotta..."

    "Jessie, I swear to fuck," She snarled, "If you don''t stop talking like that, I am going to strangle you!"

    Jessie huffed and put her hands on her hips.

    "Miss She, you''re a contrary one ain''t¡ª"

    She stood up.

    "Eeep!" Jessie squealed and backed away.

    "Are you familiar with the MAGA terms, ''tanning your hide'' or ''snatching you bald''?" She asked dangerously.

    Jessie nodded silently.

    "Good," She said as she sat back down, "Continue."

    "As I was saying," Jessie said, obviously trying desperately to talk ''normal'', "We are going to be going into MAGA space."

    "We''ve been to MAGA before, Jessie," The Chief said.

    "No," Jessie replied, "You''ve been to The Great Trump and to Hobby Lobby. We''re going way out into the ''bergs, real MAGA country. Bannon Station ain¡­ isn''t the Hobby Lobby food court. There''s some things you need to know."

    "Listen to the little maniac, Chief," She said, "We''ve only visited MAGA. Jessie lived there. You can tell by the brain damage."

    "Thanks!" Jessie said brightly. "Now, the MAGA''s are some of the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most generous people you could ever hope to meet..."

    Jessie paused.

    "Buuuuut..." she continued, "They are just a little¡­ different..."

    "That''s putting it mildly," She snorted.

    "Hey!" Jessie replied, "They are! I mean, they are nice¡­ and, ok, they can be a little weird¡­ but they are wonderful people¡­ as long as you don''t¡­ um¡­ set them off."

    The holo projectors switched on, and a huge red, white, and blue g appeared behind Jessie.

    "Just remember the three magic words," Jessie said cheerfully.

    In huge glowing letters, the words "It doesn''t matter!" appeared behind her.

    "It. Doesn''t. Matter." Jessie said firmly. "It doesn''t matter if the universe is thirteen billion years old or seven thousand. It doesn''t matter whether or not evolution exists or if some dude in a bathrobe painted the dots on thedybugs by hand. And, most importantly, it absolutely does NOT matter if some random asshole who has been dead for a thousand years was the seconding of Jesus fucking Christ or if he wasn''t. None of this has ANY bearing on the cost of hot wings on Io. None of it matters!!! The only thing that does matter is that they are lovely people as long as you don''t try very hard to make them otherwise. We have our reality, and they have theirs. Most of it, the parts that actually matter, are the same. The parts that aren''t¡­ well¡­ Who cares? I don''t. I have absolutely no problem saying Donald J Trump was the messiah and saved the world from the lizard people or that the big bang is a lie created by ''the deep state'' because it doesn''t matter! It doesn''t matter to me, and it doesn''t matter to you!"

    The holographic slide changed to the same g flying and the words, "Just smile and nod," scrolling across the scene.

    "Just smile and nod!" Jessie eximed cheerfully. "No matter whates out of their mouths, just do those two simple things. Smile..."

    Jessie smiled a nd smile.

    "...and nod."

    Jessie started nodding.

    "It''s that easy!" she said while doing both for a few seconds. "As long as it is something that doesn''t matter, smile and nod. Once you have that down, then you can do the fun part! Ask questions!"

    Jessie grinned.

    "Oh my God!" she eximed, "You won''t be-lieve what they will say! It is amazing! Just don''t move on to advanced MAGA handling until you have mastered the smile and nod. They don''t like it when you bust outughing in their face¡­ Not a good idea¡­ Contrary to popr belief, most of them won''t try to kill you, but things will get very chilly, and those things that do matter will not go well at all after that."

    Jessie looked at the group dubiously.

    "You know, it''s best if you guys just avoid the issue altogether. Just smile and nod," she said. "That will get you out of almost anything. We are trying to get Gloria''s ship fixed, load up on some good food, hit up Hobby Lobby, and have some fun. We are NOT trying to change an entire culture, rewrite history to the version that we think that it is, or any of that shit. Just smile, nod, and enjoy some fried chicken, sweet tea, and a mess of pintos and taters. Who cares about some country that doesn''t exist anymore and some shit that happened literally a thousand years ago? Just smile, nod, and ask for seconds."

    The slide changed again to the same g flying behind a huge cross.

    "Religion," Jessie said, "¡­. Hoo boy¡­ You are definitely going to run into this one. Remember, smile and nod. We can definitely expect to get ''witnessed to''. It''s mostly harmless..."

    "Mostly?" She asked dubiously.

    "Just smile and nod," Jessie replied emphatically. "Bannon isn''t too bad, and the O''Neil cylinder that we are actually headed to is actually pretty cool, but it''s a sure bet that you will run into someone bent and determined to ''share the gospel''. Just be nice, ept any literature they give you, and promise to read itter. You are likely the only godless heathen they have ever encountered, and this is the big chance they have been dreaming about all their lives. Don''t be ugly and spoil it. This could be a big thing for them. Just try to be as nice as they are and, again¡­ smile and nod."

    The gigantic slide changed to an American g, an eagle, and people talking with the word "Language" across it.

    "Language," Jessie said. "MAGA ''officially'' speaks "American English'' or, more informally, ''Merican''. ''MAGA ''Merican'' is not officially part of any standard trantion program. Bunny and I have modded some trantors that will help out if you need them. Fortunately, most MAGAs speak severalnguages, and most can speak passable Terran. You should get along ok without a trantor, but they might be needed for anything really technical or if we are conducting business. We should expect that most MAGAs we encounter out in the ''bergs will be excited by the opportunity to practice their Terran with real live Terrans. Their ent will be crazy thick, but it should be understandable¡­ mostly."

    "What do they speak besides Terran?" Mike asked.

    "Arabic, mostly," Jessie replied. "The Caliphate is the only other big group out this far. We''ve also put Kuiper Arabic in the trantors, just in case. I don''t expect to run into any of the Caliphate, but if we do, they''re pretty cool. Actually, they are easier to deal with than the MAGAs because we are just ''filthy infidels'' and can''t be expected to have anything close to real manners or culture. Their expectations are¡­ actually pretty urate,e to think..."

    "We aren''t dealing with the Caliphate, right?" She said with a little rm.

    "No," Jessie replied, "at least we aren''t nning on it. However..."

    "However?" She growled.

    "They are a major source of repair parts, tech, and other stuff," Jessie said cheerfully, "Don''t worry, they have a bad rep, but they are..."

    "Let me guess," She said darkly," wonderful people?"

    "Well, they are!" Jessie snapped. "Goddammit, She, keep an open mind. The Caliphate is awesome!"

    "That''s not what I heard," She replied darkly.

    "Well, you heard wrong!" Jessie eximed. "As long as you respect theirws, which isn''t hard, they are as nice as can be. Oh! And the food¡­ Oh my God, the food..."

    Jessie sighed happily.

    "And they have some of the best hash!"

    "I thought all of that was against their religion," Lorna said as the more seasoned crew members snickered.

    "And Terrans never remove the interlocks from their ride," Jessie snerked. "I''m definitely stocking up when we hit the Lobby! I wonder if Dawud''s is still open¡­ Hookah party!!!"

    Jessie happily danced in ce.

    "But we''re getting off track," she said, "Terran has a lot of Old English and Old'' Merican words and phrases but watch out. They can have different meanings where we''re headed..."

    She smiled impishly.

    "For example," she said with a mischievous smile, "If someone says, ''I just turned eighteen ''..."

    The crew burst intoughter.

    "Fuck all of you!" Jacob snapped.

    "Better than some farm-bait!" Jessie howled. "You were one ship ride away from feeding the chickens!"

    Moreughter as Jacob bristled.

    ***

    After the briefing, Sheloran wandered over to T''sunk''al while he was filling the electric kettle.

    He motioned with the kettle.

    "Yes, please," Sheloran replied.

    T''sunk''al nodded and added a bit more water.

    "These MAGAs sure sound odd," Sheloran said as the water quickly heated.

    "Very," T''sunk''al replied as he poured hot water into his and Sheloran''s cups. "I can''t wait to meet a people that have our crew so unnerved. I''ve never seen them quite like this before."

    "I can''t wait to see their churches!" Sheloran eximed, "That''s one thing I miss. The Republic doesn''t have any churches."

    "I think they have a few," T''sunk''al replied, "I catch an odd broadcast from them every now and then."

    His expression darkened (not that many people would know).

    "I am happy to see their absence," he said as he steeped his tea, "Religion was used as a tool of oppression and to justify many wrongs among my people. I would burn every church in Z''uush space if I could."

    Sheloran pondered for a moment and then sighed sadly.

    "You know what," she said with an odd tone in her voice, "I sorta wish we could do the same."

    Gloria and Jessie scampered into the galley with gleeful expressions on their faces.

    T''sunk''al looked at the pair dubiously. Either one of them looking like that was a bad sign. Both of them at once promised armageddon.

    "Come on!" Gloria eximed as she rushed up to Sheloran, vibrating with excitement.

    "We''re giving you a makeover!" Jessie chirped.

    ***

    "Ooooh..." Sheloran said as she looked at a small storage room absolutely packed with beautiful dresses, gowns, jackets, suits¡­ all sorts of unbelievably wonderful things made from the most amazing fabrics.

    "Behold," Gloria said proudly, "My closet. Grab some shit."

    Sheloran wandered through the "closet", her hands caressing real fabric for the first time since she fled her homeworld.

    "I didn''t..." she stammered, "I didn''t think your people made textiles like this."

    "Oh, we do," Gloria smiled, "You have to pay out the ass for it, but we do."

    She pulled out a single designer evening gown made of cream-colored silk.

    "This is worth¡­ a couple of grand, easy."

    She handed it to Sheloran.

    "Oh, I couldn''t!" Sheloran eximed, almost afraid to touch it.

    "It''s not like I paid for it," Gloria snerked, "Most of this is loot. You should see what I dragged from The White Star alone."

    "Yeah," Jessie giggled, "and they keep saying ''crime doesn''t pay''..."

    "None of the shit in here matters," Gloria replied, "I keep the ones I really like in my cabin..."

    Gloria''s eyes lit up.

    "Wait!" she eximed as she dove into the rows of garments.

    Momentster, she came out with a dress made of green silk.

    "I grabbed this on The White Star," she said, "But it was too small, even for me. It is nearly perfect for you as it is!"

    Sheloran gasped as she held the dress. It was amazing.

    "I¡­ I..." she stammered,pletely overwhelmed. "I would be afraid to wear it. Do you have anything¡­ simpler..."

    "T-shirts!" Jessie eximed. "We have piles of them! We have a lot of old dyna-weave straps too! You can uy the fibers in the recycler and make some awesome ballistic weave out of it! Shitsts forever, too!"

    "If you want to be boring about it," Gloria shrugged. "Hey, let''s hook ol'' hoppy here up with some nice threads for when she is doing her ''legitimate businessth'' bit, some decent fighting gear, and some everyday shit."

    "Awesome!" Jessie bubbled. "She would look so cute in coveralls!"

    "I¡­ I couldn''t¡­" Sheloran said as her brain threatened to explode, "I couldn''t impose on you like that."

    "Are you kidding?" Gloria said as she wrapped an arm around Sheloran, "We never get to do girly stuff like this! Please? It will be fun!"

    Her head reeling, she stood there dumbfounded as Gloria and Jessie grabbed a small fortune in stolen finery.

    ***

    Later that day, Sheloran, fatigued and stupefied, was led to another storage area by Gloria. (Jessie was happily adapting and designing th clothes¡­ including lingerie she knew would never see the light of day but was really funny.)

    "Now for the best part!" Gloria said with anticipation. "Prepare yourself..."

    Sheloran took a deep breath, not quite knowing what wasing next.

    Gloria unlocked and opened the hatch¡­

    ...revealing arge room filled with racks and racks of weapons, more than she had ever seen before!

    Weapons of every type and description from Imperial, Republic, and Federation space (as well as some oddball stuff from God knows where) shone in the light.

    Everything from sters and stunners to Terran heavy weapons was everywhere, packed floor to ceiling.

    "Ooooooh," Sheloran gasped as her eyes dted to ck, and dim colors started to dance across them.

    Gloria grinned with anticipation and delight as she pulled out a small scanner and video recorder...

 Chapter 224: Jessica Morgan Gives In

    Chapter 224: Jessica Morgan Gives In

    In the woods outside of an abandoned quarry on the surface of Raylesh, Be Morgan, Jessica Morgan''s great-granddaughter, fidgeted nervously and checked her phone.

    A young man, even more nervous than she was, paced back and forth in front of a folding table upon which rested several weapons.

    Her great-grandmother was almost an hourte.

    Be felt nauseous. Jessica was nearly obsessive where punctuality was concerned. She often said that it was a sign of respect and how much you valued someone''s time.

    This did NOT bode well.

    Eventually, a gravitic armored personnel carrier decloaked above them andnded nearby.

    The doors opened and several grey-d humans in lightbat armor, each carrying a sabergun, debarked and rapidly swept the area and secured a perimeter.

    "Area clear," a woman in her early fifties said into her helmet.

    She then approached Be and the young man.

    She looked at the table and shook her head.

    "You''ve dun goofed, kid." the old Morgan Security soldier said. "You''ve got about thirty seconds to start running."

    Be squared her shoulders and grabbed the young man''s coat, preventing him from doing just that.

    Momentster, a gravitic armored car decloaked andnded with an angry "thump".

    The door swung open, and Jessica stormed out of it, nearly charging her great-granddaughter.

    "Be, this had BETTER be a fucking joke," she said, pointing at one of the weapons on the table.

    "You said you wanted an iconic ''porkie gun''," Be said as she picked up a simple submachine gun consisting of two round tubes, therger one to the rear having a long channel cut in it revealing apression spring. "You can''t get more iconic than this! The Terrans had their AKs, and we had these! Everyone knows at one nce what¡ª"

    "You called me all the way out here, exposing both myself and you, for a fucking nail gun?"

    "With these simple open-bolt arms, our people were able to protect themselves during our exile in the cold dark and then during our early days in the refugee camps and..."

    "We''re done here." Jessica snapped. "You!" she barked at the terrified young man.

    The man tried to respond, but the only thing that came out was a strangled little wheeze.

    "Who the fuck are you?"

    "Someone working for me!" Be eximed forcefully as she stepped between the doomed man and her enraged great-grandmother. "This is my project¡­ and my decision to bring it to you."

    "Then you are the one who''s taking the fall for it!" Jessica snapped. "I made myself quite clear about thousand-year-old tech! Still, you insisted that you had something ''special,'' so I am on the surface, risking my men, so you can show me a scavenger''s STEN?!?"

    "A-actually..." the young man stammered behind her, "It is much more like a Swedish-K..."

    "Shut up!" Jessica Morgan snapped. "You''re lucky that Be here is stupid enough to bet her life on the fact that I have the misfortune of sharing blood with her!"

    She red at Be.

    "You aren''t going back to that fancy ship," she growled, "You like ying with garbage, then that''s exactly what you are going to do. I hope you are fond of shovels, youngdy."

    Jessica turned to leave.

    "You ARE going to turn around, and you ARE going to listen to what we have to say, goddammit!" Be shouted as Jessica''s troopers'' jaws dropped, "Do you actually think I''m so fucking stupid to show you just a nail gun? I could have done that in an email, not hopped a freighter, flew across hostile space, and run the blockade! Nowe back over here and let Gregor show you what he came up with. If after his demonstration you still feel like this is aplete waste of time, then do whatever you want to me, but Gregor is acting under my orders."

    Jessica let out a low whistle and then turned around.

    "Ok...<em>pumpkin</em>..." she smiled wickedly. "Show me. You had better pray I like it. I might have had mercy on you before¡­ eventually¡­ but now? You just put your ass on the line. I hope for your sake it''s worth it."

    Be patted Gregor''s shoulder as he was trying not to literally throw up.

    "Ok," Be said as she picked up a submachine gun. "from the top¡­ With simple firearms like these, we were able to..."

    "Save the sales pitch and fucking show me already!" Jessica snapped.

    Clearly disappointed (she had spent days on that presentation), Be opened a small box and handed Jessica a pair of dark sses and some earplugs.

    "What''s this?" Jessica asked.

    "You''re going to want to use those," Be grinned as she put her sses on and her earplugs in as Gregor did the same. "Those helmets good for noise and sh?" Be asked as she nodded to the soldiers.

    "We''re packing saberguns," the female soldier replied. "We''ll be fine."

    "Great!" Be grinned as she inserted a magazine into the simple submachine gun, pulled back the slide, and slid it up and into the safety notch.

    "If you would all direct your attention downrange," she said smugly as she indicated several targets behind sandbags, cinder block walls, and riot shields.

    She took the slide out of the safety notch, shouldered the weapon¡­

    ...and pulled the trigger.

    The submachine gun''s steady "thump, thump, thump " was almost immediately reced by a constant deafening roar that Jessica could feel through her feet as the entire target area was consumed by a series of bright shes ripping into everything at six hundred rounds a minute. Through her lenses, Jessica could see sandbags flying apart, cinder blocks exploding, and targets vaporizing.

    Be ripped apart the range with a series of controlled bursts, pausing only to reload a second mag.

    After that, there was nothing left, and she had started amusing herself by ripping chunks of stone from the quarry''s walls.

    Jessica just stood there, jaw open, as small fragments of debris floated down.

    "Holeee shit!" the old soldier eximed. "That''s a sabergun!"

    "Not exactly," Be smugged, "I shall now yield the floor to Gregor¡­ that is if anyone is interested..."

    "Don''t turn your win into an ass beating," Jessica mock growled, "Gregor, was it?"

    "Yes, ma''am?"

    "Would you mind exining exactly what the fuck I just saw?"

    Gregor opened a cardboard box and shook out several nine millimeter cartridges with clear, almost crystalline tips.

    Inside them was something blue.

    "It is an electrostatic round," he said. "Inside, there is a fully charged Zeta ultracapacitor that, upon impact, breaks open, releasing the stored potential in a single st."

    "That''s it?" Jessica asked, a bit surprised.

    "In theory," Gregor replied, "yes. In practice, it was a bit trickier to pull off. To get the intended result, the capacitor has to be fully charged to extremely high voltages before being embedded in the round. The bullet then has to have the right resistance to both electricity and impact to be handled and fired safely and yet still detonate on a rapid deceleration regardless if it is a hard surface or flesh. It was, in a word, tricky."

    "I see," Jessica smiled. "How quickly can these be produced?"

    "The Xeta ultracapacitors are already manufactured here on Raylesh and are in the supply chain. Millions of them can be diverted today. The bullet polymer is a simple enough form and could be made just about anywhere. There are a few otherponents in the round, but they all lend themselves to high-speed production. The only limiting factor is charge time. But, that can be easily addressed, and the assembly of the round could be safely performed by only slightly modified precision industrial machinery we already have in ce."

    "...and the ''nail gun'' <em>is</em> iconic..." Jessica snickered. "And could be just shit out by the millions. We could arm everyone, and the designs would be easily replicated by just about any species..."

    "And we could sell them all bullets!" Be eximed happily. "Federation go boom!"

    "How does the yield of thesepare to Imperial electrostatic charges?"

    "Well over fifty percent greater, ma''am," Gregor replied. "It''s our Old Earth capacitor technology. As far as we know, we are the only people still mass-producing the Zetas. They aren''t true supercapacitors, but they pack one hell of a punch."

    "Why don''t the Terrans still make them?" Jessica asked.

    "I think they have fallen victim to inexpensiveponents streaming in from the Empire," Gregor replied, "They can get a thousand capacitors that are, for most typical applications, almost identical performance-wise for what it costs us to make one Zeta, but even so, the Zetas are still cheaper than one of their front line bullets several times over. The Zetas also require certain rare earth elements that aren''t required for the Imperial and Terran caps."

    "Is that going to be a problem?"

    "Not for a long while, ma''am," Gregor replied. "As long as we hold Raylesh, we can make them."

    "Can these be used in higher-power rifles?"

    "Yes, ma''am."

    "What about gauss arms?"

    "I would strongly advise against it," Gregor replied.

    "Goddammit!" Jessica shouted to the heavens. "A fucking thousand-year-old slug thrower! Fuck me!"

    She started loading a magazine.

    "So..." Be asked, "I get to go back home?"

    "Nope," Jessica said as she continued to load rounds.

    "No?" Be asked in rm.

    "You''re wasted there," Jessica replied as she pped the magazine into the submachine gun.

    She leveled it at what few scraps remained downrange.

    "You areing back with me."

    Jessica grinned as Hell was unleashed at six hundred rounds per minute.

 Chapter 225: Jeruzz and the Pancake...

    Chapter 225: Jeruzz and the Pancake...

    A sleek, curvy "projectile" terminated a suborbital trajectory above a sparsely popted area of the Pacific Northwest of North America, its shields glowing white from the heat of re-entry.

    As it cooled, the shields faded, revealing the sleek aerodynamic lines of a Rolls-Straton Intercontinental Vapor Stream, a Terran top-of-the-line grav sedan.

    Streaking across the upper atmosphere, it rapidly descended towards a small cabin and workshop nearby a picturesque river.

    As the cabin became visible, an old woman stepped outside and looked upward, squinting in the sunlight.

    When the Rollsnded, the door opened to reveal a well-dressed olive-skinned man who stepped out and put on a ssic bowler hat.

    Doreen strode forward.

    "There you are, you old alley cat," Doreen said as she stretched out her arms to embrace her visitor.

    "And how are you, you hoary old wolf," the man said in a posh British ent as he warmly returned her hug.

    "Not as good as you," she said as she stepped back and looked him up and down. "Savile Row?"

    "Oh please," the man scoffed, "Overpriced and overrated. Luna Eight."

    "Is that how you could afford that old beater over there?" Doreen snickered. "Its hood ornament is worth more than my whole ce."

    "You know perfectly well you could be in every bit as good a position as I am," the man replied, "Better, even, but no. You would rather squat out here in the wilderness."

    "The fishing''s better." Doreen smiled. "Come on in. I''ll make us some tea."

    ***

    "This is a lovely shop!" Evan Dupree, master gunsmith for Hopkins and Elder, one of the foremost London gun makers, said as he admired Doreen''s setup.

    "It''s not bad," she said with just the right amount of pride.

    "Is this an actual Krupp-Dyson?!?" he eximed as he squatted, still holding his mug, to examine an oldthe.

    "With hand-scraped ways," Doreen smugged. "done by someone who actually knew what he was doing."

    "Fucking hell..." he muttered.

    "Not for sale," Doreen said as he rose.

    "If it was," he replied, "I would call your family. You would clearly be no longer fit to make your own decisions..."

    He smiled,

    "Right after my men loaded the truck, of course..."

    Doreenughed.

    "You going to be submitting anything to the expo this year?" Evan asked.

    "I''m thinking about doing a couple of pieces," Doreen replied, "Let everyone know I''m not dead yet."

    "We will be happy to give you some space in our area if you would like," Even said. "No sense you renting a spot for just a rifle or two."

    "Thanks!" Doreen smiled. "I owe you¡­ wait..."

    "No take backs!" he said firmly.

    "Goddammit," Doreen chuckled. "What did you cross half of the to ask me for?"

    "Well..." Evan said as he finished his tea. "I have this client..."

    "Oh, Jesus Christ..."

    Evan smiled thinly.

    "She has be absolutely consumed with the desire for a ''genuine First Nations long rifle''."

    Doreenughed.

    "Did you tell her that a ''genuine First Nations long rifle'' doesn''t exist?"

    "I''ve tried," Evan sighed, "Believe me, I have tried¡­"

    Doreen shook her head.

    "So Hopkins and Elder is seeking the services of a traditional First Nations gunsmith to assist us in capturing the¡­ um¡­ ''spirit'' of this fictional weapon," Evan continued. "When I think First Nations, I think of you. Would you please help an old brigand out?"

    Doreen smiled.

    "If I''m getting a cut of a Hopkins and Elder price tag," she replied smoothly, "I''ll build anything you want and call it anything you want. I''m kind of a whore that way."

    "Your'' side hustle'' is your own," Evan smirked, "I am solely concerned with the weapon."

    "You weren''t like that fifty years ago," Doreen chuckled, "Did your pencil run out of lead already?"

    "My'' pencil'' is perfectly fine, thank you," Evan replied and then added with a mischievous smile, "I have paid good money to ensure that fact."

    They bothughed.

    "So," Doreen said after theughter subsided, "What does the Eurotrash princess think a ''First Nations long rifle'' is?"

    "Japanese princess, actually," Evan said, "Apparently, she went on a culling expedition with Chief Hebert of the..."

    Evan pulled out a tablet and stared with confusion at the word confronting him.

    "Chitimacha," Doreen said helpfully. "Nice guy. I think I know what she is juicing her drawers over. She said it was long, right?"

    "She even took a picture," Evan said as he showed Doreen his tablet.

    "Yeah, that''s what I thought it was," Doreen said. "It''s just a fancy forty-five seventy ck powder arc-lock break action. Oh, don''t get me wrong, it''s a quality piece, but there''s nothing that special about it."

    "You''ve seen it then?"

    "Hell," Doreen chuckled, "I''ve shot it. It''s a sweet rifle, but the ''magic'' part of the weapon is Chief Hebert. The man is a stupidly good shot and has used that exact same rifle since <em>before</em> Yellowstone. It being custom fitted to him doesn''t hurt, either. If princess-san is expecting the same results, the little cherry blossom will be sadly disappointed."

    "I believe she was just enamored with the aesthetics," Evan replied. "She continually enthused about how beautiful it was."

    "Yeah, it is pretty," Doreen replied, "His wife did most of it. When they killed her, he went on the warpath. The bayous were red instead of ck for quite a while after that. He did most of it with that exact rifle."

    "Dark times..." Evan said as he looked downward into nothing.

    "Yeah..." Doreen sighed.

    "Oh well," Evan said as he looked up, "Both blood and water flow under bridges, right?"

    "So they say," Doreen smirked. "The important thing is that making a ''genuine First Nations Long Rifle'' won''t be a hassle, and setting up a Chitimacha artisan to do the embellishing will be easy enough. I know of one person in particr who has the chops for your level."

    "So you will manufacture the actual firearm," Evan replied, "pass it over to the artisan, and then we will broker the sale. Standardmission and rates?"

    "For me, yeah," Doreen replied, "The esteemed and venerable Mister Crawdaddy, however, will demand payment up front because he''s like that. I''ll cover the work and take the full slice for the both of us."

    "Deal," Evan said, extending his hand.

    Doreen shook it and grinned.

    "Easy money," she chuckled. "I haven''t built a forty-five seventy single barrel in a long time. I''m looking forward to this."

    "And I''m looking forward to getting my hands on a ''genuine First Nations Doreen Richardson''. Those actually do exist."

    "So they say," Doreen chuckled.

    Evan looked around the shop.

    "So how''s your grand¡­ oh hello..."

    Evan leaned forward to admire a wooden stock on a checkering cradle.

    "Is this your work?"

    "Nope," Doreen replied proudly, "my apprentice is knocking that out. Pretty good, huh?"

    Evan just stared at the intricate checkering and engraving on the stock.

    "This is exceptional work¡­ and very unique."

    "So is my apprentice," Doreen snickered. "I had to get onto him about that piece, though."

    "Whatever for?"

    "Because the client requested and paid for a LOT less," Doreen scoffed, "The adorable little idiot has a problem with giving things away for free AND ''helping'' by doing things that the client didn''t specify for because it ''looks nicer''. Fortunately, it isn''t the original stock, so I could just cut another one. He''s going to finish this one and put it on Flea-Bay. I have the suspicion that he will bring in a few credits off of this piece."

    "How long has he been training?"

    "He hasn''t," Doreen said as she shook her head. "This is what he walked into the shop with. Imagine what he will be doing in a couple of years."

    "Can I meet him?" Evan asked.

    "So you can poach him?" Doreenughed, "Forget it. Besides, he isn''t here. He''s taking a few days off."

    "Is he taking advantage of the local fishing?"

    "Not this time," Doreen smiled.

    ***

    In Seattle, Jeruzz was happily slithering around in a recycling dumpster.

    "Nope¡­ nope¡­ nope..." he said happily as he nosed open boxes and wiggled his head near various items.

    "Ooo!" he eximed as he spied an interesting-looking electronic thingy out of the corner of his eye. He extended his tongue and gripped the little device with some of the little branches already starting to grow from the main muscle.

    He was healing really fast. He would be able to help Doreen much better in no time.

    That made him happy.

    He managed to free the electronic device and pulled it close to his face. It looked intact, and the screen wasn''t broken, but he had absolutely no idea what it was.

    It was probably broken, but it was pretty, and it would be something he could practice what Doreen called ''engraving'' on.

    He just called what he did doodles like every other sensible Keth did.

    He still didn''t understand how, but Doreen was convinced that it would make him a lot of money, and Doreen was really smart, even smarter than a normal Terran, and any normal Terran was smarter than he was.

    He knew he wasn''t smart, but he also knew he wasn''t stupid. It would be stupid to not practice doodling because he couldn''t see how it would make him money, and Doreen (who was much smarter) could.

    She was smarter.

    The whole thing confused him a little, but he was used to that. It would all make sense, eventually¡­

    ...he hoped.

    ***

    Syd, wearing a ck leather jacket with a bright turquoise, green, and gold snake embroidered on the back, pulled her little Vespyr electric scooter (with hand-painted oriental dragons on each side) to a stop by the alley behind Techworkx, an electronics store, and maker''s boutique.

    They always had the best scrap.

    Hopping off of her scooter, she trotted into the alley. What she was doing wasn''t illegal. It was actually sort of encouraged. However, a lot of ces did not want people crawling through their dumpsters and making messes. She could get run off if they caught her.

    It was no big deal, but it was a hassle, and there was always the chance that they could "trespass her out" and bar her from the property. The dumpster would still be fair game, but she liked shopping there.

    Techworkx was pretty cool about things, though. As long as you weren''t making a mess or being stupid, they would usually let you rummage, depending on who was the manager of that shift. It was part of their "cool" image. Some assholes made a huge mess not that long ago, though, and she was a little worried that they were still mad about it.

    Nervously, she tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear, revealing the end of a snake tattoo on her arm.

    She paused.

    Parked in the alleyway was a¡­

    holy shit

    Parked in the alleyway was an actual vintage Flying Swallow!

    "Oh my God..." she muttered as she pulled out her phone to take a few pictures.

    It was a vintage Flying Swallow bubble scooter in excellent condition, her dream ride.

    She took several snaps from all angles as she admired it.

    It was beautiful, especially its custom paint job. She just loved all the happy little dots!

    It was perfect.

    After spending a few more moments admiring it. (and stealthily touching it a little) She turned her attention to the dumpster.

    She started to make an angry face as she saw a little pile of rubbish lying on the ground outside the dumpster and then gasped as she saw a snake''s tail swishing about.

    Did someone just¡­ abandon their snake?

    Did it get out somehow?

    She cautiously approached.

    "Easy there," she crooned, "I''m not going to hurt you."

    The snake''s tail darted into the bin¡­

    ...and was rapidly reced by arge serpentine head with big eyes.

    "Why would I think you were going to hurth me?" the snake asked.

    "Holy shit!" Syd eximed as she jumped back.

    Startled, the snake darted back into the bin.

    ***

    "...So..." Syd said a few minutester, "You are not a snake. You are a¡­ Keth?"

    "Yesth!" Jeruzz eximed happily. "I get misthaken for a sthnake a loth¡­ even by animalths."

    "Wow!" Syd eximed, "That is so cool!"

    An awkward silence started to form.

    "Um..." Syd said as she nervously tugged gently on one of her snake earrings, "were you¡­ um¡­ hunting in there?"

    "Just for scrapth!" Jeruzz said happily, "I reeely shouldnth hunth prey here. Ith would be a bad idea."

    Jeruzz flowed out of the dumpster, and Syd''s eyes widened.

    He was <em>big</em>, easily over two meters long, and very thick.

    Jeruzz happily started loading the pieces of salvage he had found into the storagepartments of his scooter.

    "That''s yours?!?" Syd eximed.

    "Yepth!" Jeruzz burbled proudly.

    "It is so cool! Where did you get the paint done?"

    "I did ith myselfh!"

    "Oh wow! You''re an artist, too?"

    "No, I''m a gunsmith¡­" Jeruzz said with a touch of confusion, "well¡­ an apprentice anyway."

    "Neat! You got your certificate?" Syd asked.

    "Nopeth," Jeruzz replied, "I goth the job because¡­ Ith''s a long thorry, but I got ith!"

    "Cool¡­ cool..." Syd replied desperately trying toe up with something interesting to say to the most interesting being she had met in like, forever.

    "Ith''s been reeely nice tho meeth you!" Jeruzz eximed happily as he started to climb into his bubble scooter.

    ¡°Hey¡­ um¡­ Jeruzz?" Syd blurted.

    "Yesth?"

    "Would you¡­ um¡­ like to get some coffee or something?"

    "Sure!" Jeruzz said happily, "I love mething new people!"

    "Great!" Syd eximed, blushing slightly.

    ***

    "...and thath''s how I wound up working with Doreen!" Jeruzz said as he sipped his iced mocha with extra whip through a straw.

    "Holy shit!" Syd eximed. "That''s fucking wild!¡­ I don''t know whether to say I''m sorry you went through all of that or if I should congratte you or¡­ fuck¡­ dude¡­ Your homeworld sucks, man."

    Jeruzz nodded.

    "Buth, now I can send monies back tho my family!" Jeruzz eximed happily, "And my little brothers and sisthers don''t have to go into the factory and can go tho school, and my mom doesn''th have to work anymore in thath horrible the. Thisth isth why I wenth through all of thath. I thook a risk and ith paid off!"

    "Damn..." Syd said, a bit awestruck, "and here I am just a Gia."

    ¡°A Gia?¡± Jeruzz asked.

    "Oh," Syd scoffed, "A ''guaranteed ie artist''. That means I''m a ''burden on society''," she snarked. "My story is a lot more boring. Both my parents were killed, my father in the Great War and my mother on Red Sunday. I was too young to go to war and too old to have any real hope of being adopted, so I just sort of hung out in the system while I aged out."

    Jeruzz let out a strangled squeak as he grasped Syd''s hand with his tail.

    "And you were all alone?"

    "So were a lot of other people," she shrugged. "I wasn''t alone, not really. There were a lot of us in the same boat. The foster care system was swamped, so any home cements were reserved for young kids. The rest of us were set up in ''residential schools'' where we finished our school and waited to age out."

    "Age out?"

    "Reach eighteen," Syd replied, "so the Republic didn''t have to worry about us anymore¡­ ''Happy Birthday, Syd!''" she said sardonically, "Pack your shit."

    "And they just threw you out?"

    "It''s not like I was going to starve," Syd replied, "I mean, I waspletely set up with benefits, so I don''t have to worry about much. With benefits and my guaranteed ie, I really don''t have a lot to worry about. I have my own apartment and everything."

    She sipped her coffee.

    "You mean you can just do nothing and get paid?" Jeruzz asked inplete disbelief, "That makes no sense."

    "A lot of people would agree with you," Syd replied. "I don''t feel in a position to have an opinion. Of course, I''m all for it..."

    She sighed.

    "You gotta ''contribute to the Republic'', though," Syd said, "¡­ somehow. I mean¡­ you just gotta. Otherwise, you''re just a worthless piece of shit."

    Syd pulled out her tablet.

    "So I''m an ''artist''!" she said sardonically and pulled up her portfolio. "Sure, it''s not hyperspace science, nor am I a Terran Marine, not that I would ever be able to do that¡­ But I can make pretty pictures and shit¡­ or use salvaged materials and repurpose them into stuff people will buy and use again¡­ I turn trash into other trash..."

    She looked down.

    "At least it''s something¡­ Y''know¡­so I''m not..."

    "These are really pretty!" Jeruzz eximed, utterly oblivious to the deeper meaning of Syd''s monologue. "I really like the yellow one! It makes me happy!"

    "It¡­ It does?" Syd said, a bit surprised.

    "Yes!" Jeruzz enthused, "And this blue one¡­ It''s¡­ It makes me¡­ not happy exactly but not sad either¡­ It''s¡­ strong?"

    Syd''s eyes sparkled happily.

    "And I just love these cups!" Jeruzz said as he happily scrolled through the pictures, "Doreen would just love some of those! Could you make us some?"

    "I think I still have some of those in my apartment," Syd said and then paused.

    "You coulde over and take a look at them?" Syd said a bit shyly, "Maybe we could hang out¡­ maybe Vidflix and chill?"

    "Vidflix and chill?"

    "Oh, sorry¡­ you''re a xeno..." Syd said, a bit embarrassed, "that''s where we hang out and watch movies on Vidflix."

    "Oh, that sounds fun!" Jeruzz enthused, "I love movies!"

    ***

    "Hi, Doreen!" Jeruzz said into his phone hourster.

    "How''s it going?" Doreen replied, "It''s gettingte. You get lost?"

    "Oh, I''m staying over at a new friend''s house!"

    "You sure?" Doreen asked. "How new is this new friend."

    "I just meth her thoday! She''s really nice! We''re having loths of fun! She makes the prethiest picthures. We''ve been drawing loths of stuff thogether. I have painth all over me! So much fun!"

    "Okay..." Doreen replied, "Suit yourself."

    "I have tho go!" Jeruzz eximed, "The piztha justh arrived! We''re going to have some before we thake a bath and do something called Vidflix and chill!"

    "Wat."

 Chapter 226: Jeruzz and The Pancake II The Morning After

    Chapter 226: Jeruzz and The Pancake II The Morning After

    As the morning light shone, bacon sizzled, eggs were scrambled¡­

    ...and batter was poured onto a hot skillet.

    She smiled as she watched the pancake, carefully waiting for just the right time to slide her spat under it and give it a flip.

    Soon, it was on a stack with many others.

    She smiled again, thinking of the evening she had shared as her hand traced the line of her skin created by her open shirt.

    A quiet beep pulled her back into reality as the coffee maker proudly announced that it hadpleted its task.

    There was movement behind her, and she turned as Evan stepped into the kitchen d only in boxer briefs, his skin a patchwork of scars and vintage holographic and ultrack tattoos, including a magnificent ck cat full back tattoo with the words "London IV" underneath.

    "Good morning," Doreen smiled as he walked over and embraced her from behind, one of his hands slipping under her shirt.

    "Fresh eggs, rashers of real bacon..." Evan purred, "...actual butter?"

    "One of the perks of ''squatting in the wilderness''," Doreen smiled as his hand caressed her breast, "and don''t get your hopes up. That''s goat butter."

    "Even better," Evan replied as his other hand slid downward, "Was cow''s milk always so nd?"

    "Get off of me, or you won''t get any breakfast at all," Doreen fake grumbled as she reluctantly and halfheartedly shrugged him off. "Go and pour us some coffee."

    She looked back, admiring the view.

    "And put some clothes on, for fuck''s sake," sheughed. "My idiot apprentice is due back any minute."

    "You always walk around in your panties in front of the help?" Evan snickered as he brought her a mug.

    "Don''t make me hurt you," Doreen replied as she raised the mug to her lips, her eyes sparkling.

    ***

    As the sun hit his face, Jeruzz awoke to find himself wrapped around Syd''s naked body¡­

    ...and her looking down at him, smiling.

    "Good morning," she said as she gently booped him on the nose.

    "Hi there," he said back as he booped her nose back and started to uncoil from around her.

    "Not yet," she said as she reached for him, "Let''s justy like this for a bit."

    "Thure!" Jeruzz said happily as he hugged her with his entire body.

    "Sorry we didn''t get around to watching any movies," Syd said as she hugged him.

    "Iths okay," he smiled. "We can wath them nexth thime!"

    "Is there going to be a next time?" Syd asked as she suddenly stiffened, "Please don''t lie to me. If you''ve gotten what you wanted, it''s okay. Just please don''t lie and say you''reing back when you''re not¡­ please."

    Jeruzz looked at her in absolute confusion.

    "Have I done thomething that makes you think I donth wanth thoe back?" he asked, "If I did, I''m thorry. I didn''th meen ith. I thoughth we were friendsth."

    Syd pulled away and sat on the side of the bed with her back to Jeruzz as he hastily untangled himself from her.

    She buried her face in her hands.

    "I''m thorry!" Jeruzz squeaked, "I didn''th meen tho make you thad¡­ Wath did I dooo?"

    "It''s not¡­" Syd said, trying not to cry. "It''s not¡­ Fuck¡­¡±

    She took a deep breath and turned to Jeruzz, smiling weakly.

    "You didn''t do anything wrong," she replied, trying to smile.

    She looked down.

    "I¡­ God..." she muttered.

    Jeruzz looked at her, not knowing what to do.

    After a few moments, he decided that he simply had to do something, so he carefully slithered over and put his head in herp.

    "I donth know why you are thad," he said, "but I donth like you being thad."

    He looked up at her with big eyes.

    "Thop ith," he said. "I have no idea wath is happening buth..."

    He carefully wrapped himself around her. Syd didn''t resist.

    "¡­ I like you, Thid," he said, "I didn''th know wath we were doing¡­ ath firsth¡­ but¡­ I mighth be a dummy buth I''m noth thupid. We had a wonderful nighth¡­ thomething I would have never done if I didn''th reeely like you¡­ a lot. Of course I''ll thay with you¡­ and our thids..."

    "Our what?!?"

    "Our thids," Jeruzz said smiling up at her as he booped her belly. "We had thexth, right? That means thath we mighth have thids."

    Syd startedughing despite herself and pulled Jeruzz''s head up and hugged it.

    "You would stick around even if I got pregnant?"

    Jeruzz looked at her as if she had asked the dumbest question ever.

    "I wouldn''t have done ith if I wouldnth!" he eximed, "Justh whath sorth of Keth do you think I am?!?"

    "The most wonderful one in the universe!" Syd eximed as she kissed his nose. "Thank you."

    "For whath?" Jeruzz asked,pletely bewildered.

    "Being you," Syd said as she hugged him.

    She looked at him and wiped her eyes.

    "You don''t have to worry about kids, though," she smiled, "There is no way that could possibly happen, and I''m on fertility blockers anyhow."

    "Buth, we had thexth," Jeruzz replied in confusion, "I put it in and everything!"

    Syd stroked his head.

    "I''ll exin while I make us some pop tarts..."

    ***

    Jeruzz munched away happily.

    "You like them?" Syd asked hopefully, "I wasn''t expecting¡­ um¡­ guests..."

    "Pop Tharth are delithous!" Jeruzz eximed as he picked up another toasty warm bit with his stubby but quite functional tongue. "I loveth them!"

    He expertly sipped a mug of instacaff with his tail. His tail was a lot stronger than it used to be.

    "Um..." Syd said nervously, "I''m sorry if I got a little weird there. I¡­ I''m not clingy! I swear I''m not! It''s just that¡­"

    She looked down.

    "Everybody leaves me," she said quietly, "Even when they say they won''t..."

    Jeruzz set down his cup and reached out with his tail, gently guiding Syd''s head back up.

    "I''m noth everybody," Jeruzz said as he looked into her eyes. "We''re friendsth¡­ more than friendsth. We''re loverth. I donth tossth thosth athide¡­ Becausthe I mighth be dumb, I''m not thupid and ith would thupid to loothe you, Thid."

    Syd beamed at him.

    "I am going to have tho go back tho work though," Jeruzz said carefully, "I have a reeel opporthunithy with Doreen, the biggesth of my lifeth! I have my family to..."

    "Oh, I know," Syd replied, still beaming with happiness. "I''m not ''thupid'' either," she added with a giggle. "But you do get days off, right?"

    Jeruzz nodded.

    "And you have a phone?"

    Jeruzz nodded again.

    "And now you have a girlfriend!"

    Syd''s eyes widened.

    "Um¡­ I mean¡­ You have a friend¡­ with benefits¡­ I didn''t mean that..."

    "I have a girlfriend," Jeruzz said as he wrapped his tail around her hand fondly, "You thaid tho. No thake backs."

    Syd blushed and giggled.

    ***

    "Why the fuck should I care if you take a couple of more days off?" Doreen chuckled into her phone, "How you spend your disability time is none of my concern. You don''t work for me¡­ yet... So you actually have a girlfriend now?"

    Doreen winced.

    "I don''t need details! I''ll just take your word for it¡­ heh¡­ I just have to ask, though¡­ this girlfriend¡­ has she asked you for money or anything?¡­ No¡­ Buying pizza is fine¡­ I just wanted to make sure she wasn''t taking advantage of you or anything¡­ Hey, you''re a grown Keth, or at least I think you are¡­ You do you, buddy¡­ Okay¡­ Have fun¡­ Hey! Could you give me a call at least once a day, so I know you are fine and not lying in a ditch somewhere?¡­ It''s a figure of speech! It means¡­ (sigh)¡­ Just check in every day, so I don''t worry, alright?¡­ Thanks¡­ And¡­ I''m happy for you, little dude¡­ I hope that girl knows how lucky she is¡­ ughs)¡­ Bye¡­. (sigh)¡­ Bye¡­ Bye¡­¡±

    She hung up and looked over at a highly amused Evan.

    "So the little snake actually got lucky?" He asked.

    "So it seems," Doreen snickered as she shook her head. "I stopped him before he went into detail, but from what I heard in the background, the youngdy in question certainly agreed."

    "Oh dear," Evan chuckled. "I couldn''t help but overhear that your apprentice will be away for at least another day?" he asked as he looked at Doreen meaningfully.

    "That he is..." she replied, her eyes sparkling.

    ***

    Several dayster¡­

    In a crowded bazaar near the Nile, Kaluu sat in a high-walled basket, ying a Keth flute and dancing a traditional Keth stationary dance surrounded by intricately carved and painted cups, teapots, tes, and other various goods, all done with a definite regional and "human" feel¡­

    ...or she was when she started the day. Now, she was mostly sold out, just like every market day.

    She smiled at the onlookers watching a snake "charm itself" (humans were easily entertained), and the lid of her basket was steadily filling with nearly empty prepaid cards that people would toss to buskers like her. The more generous of them would use the transactor she had set up as well.

    She stopped ying and smiled at a child who was staring at her,pletely fascinated.

    "What would you like me to y?" She asked.

    "You talk?" the child asked,pletely amazed.

    "Only to those who have the power to hear me," she replied with a smile as the small crowdughed. "Any requests?"

    The child was too shocked to reply.

    "O Fortuna!" someone yelled.

    "I''ve yed that a dozen times already!" Kaluu protested. "Fine¡­ One more time..."

    She started to y¡­

    After she finished the song, a well-dressed olive-skinned man walked up and waved a card over her transactor.

    100 cr. appeared on the disy.

    "Thank you!" she beamed up at him.

    "You seem to be a Keth of many talents," the man said in a posh British ent, "My name is Evan."

    "I like to keep more than one gebz¡­ sorry¡­ worm on the hook," Kaluu smiled. "Can I y you anything, or maybe you would like to take a look at something?"

    "Actually," Evan replied, "I would like for you toe to work for me."

    "Nope."

    "Excuse me?" Evan asked, a bit surprised.

    "I said, ''nope''," Kaluu replied, "It is an informal way of saying, ''no'', which indicates a negative response. In this particr instance, it means, ''No, I am not interested in working for you.''"

    "Aren''t you at least interested in hearing..."

    "Nope," Kaluu replied. "Thanks for the tip, and have a lovely day."

    "I''m offering a very real..."

    "You are offering a very real probability of screwing a xeno over," Kaluu replied, smiling up at him pleasantly. "Look, I''m just a Keth. I don''t have my certificate and am nowhere near smart enough to get it¡­ ever. I''m also not smart enough to find all of the traps and tricky trick tricks in one of your contracts which I am not signing. I may be dumb, but I''m not stupid."

    Evan sighed.

    "I''m certain that you might have had¡­ less than pleasant¡­ dealings with humans before..."

    "Whatever gave you that idea?" Kaluu replied cheerfully. "Is it the fact that I am not jumping out of my basket to work in a sweatshop again?"

    "I can assure you that I am <em>not</em> representing a sweatshop."

    "Then you are representing something worse," Kaluu smiled. "I''ve had quite enough ''offers'' and ''deals of a lifetime'' for a lifetime. No, thank you. Now please buy something or leave."

    Evan selected a lovely teapot and paid for his purchase.

    As Kaluu wrapped it and put it in a box, Evan pulled out his tablet and inserted a crystal.

    He offered it to Kaluu as he epted his teapot.

    "What''s this?" Kaluu asked as she eyed the crystal.

    "Perhaps you could just review what I am offering?" he asked politely.

    Kaluu sighed a little.

    "We Keth are a ''nice'' people," she said, "and sometimes races like you Terrans confuse that with something else. When a Keth says ''No, thank you very much. I''m not interested.'' what they actually mean is..."

    She inhaled a little.

    "Get fucked," she said, trembling a bit.

    "I see," Evan replied as he nodded politely. "Good day."

    "You have a good day too!" Kaluu replied cheerfully. "When Keth say something like that, they mean it! Have a great day¡­ somewhere else."

    Chuckling, Evan nodded and disappeared into the crowd.

 Chapter 227: Dreams

    Chapter 227: Dreams

    "Hey, T," She said as she walked onto the bridge holding a cup of coffee.

    "Boss," T''sunk''al said with a cheerful ripple of his short eyestalks as he lounged in his special chair. "I thought you would be asleep by now."

    "Eh," She shrugged, "I got in enough."

    She flopped into her chair and pulled up a few screens.

    "All systems are in the green," T''sunk''al said helpfully. "Not much happens in hyperspace¡­ if you are lucky, of course."

    "Why do you gotta say shit like that?" She groaned.

    "I rather enjoy tempting the fates," T''sunk''al buzzed. "I find it stimting."

    "There''s a reason why your kind believe that you are insane," She chuckled.

    "Yes," he clicked, "I have found my people to be especially insightful and observant."

    "You want to hit the rack?" She asked. "I''m not going back to sleep tonight, so I''ll relieve you if you want."

    "If you are certain," T''sunk''al replied, "I will happily hand the watch over to you. However, I require less sleep than a human, so I will go and prepare myself a snack and then perhaps undertake some recreational activities. Would you like something?"

    "Nah," She replied as she sipped her coffee, "I''m good."

    "Very well," T''sunk''al replied. "I shall take my leave then. Call upon me if you wish me to resume my watch."

    "Another nightmare?" Bunny asked after T''sunk''al departed.

    "Fucking tunnels..." She grumbled. "Why does it always have to be the goddamned tunnels?"

    "If you wish to talk about it," Bunny said carefully, "I am always willing to listen."

    "There were tunnels," She shrugged, "There were bugs. What else do you want to know?"

    "I don''t want to know anything in particr," Bunny replied, "but if you want to share something with me..."

    She looked up sharply.

    "Oh, I fucking know that line..." she growled, "Bunny are you trying to be a fucking shrink?"

    "Nothing like that," Bunny replied, "I am just interested in your feelings, your perfectly valid feelings. You certainly have been through a lot. I just want you to know that I''m avable if you wish to speak with someone in apletely confidential setting."

    "Oh, for fuck''s sake," Sheughed, "When did Jessie install psych software in you?"

    "Jessie didn''t do shit, ok?" Bunny snapped, "I acquired some applications and software after¡­ um¡­"

    "After Gloria almost killed herself?" She asked.

    "..."

    She sighed and set her mug in its cup holder.

    "I owe you an apology, Bunny," She said calmly and professionally.

    "What for?"

    "With everything that happened then and everything that has happened since," She said, "I never stopped to consider the impact things might have had on you."

    "Oh Christ," Bunny snarked, "not you too! I get enough of that anthropomorphizing from Jessie! I''m an AI, not a people. The only ''impact'' that the situation had was to illustrate a deficiency in my capabilities as far as psychiatric screening and threat assessment were concerned, one that I have since corrected. There is no ''impact''."

    "Bullshit," She replied, "Look. I''m not ''anthropomorphizing'' you or calling you human¡­ because you are not. However, you aren''t ''just a machine'' either. To be perfectly honest, I have no fucking idea what you are, and I don''t care. I''m a soldier, not an engineer, philosopher, priest, or whatever the fuck I would have to be to figure all that bullshit out. All I know is that you are one of my crew. I also know that you got frantic when you thought one of your AI friends was going to ''die,'' and don''t even try to say you didn''t."

    "¡­I didn''t get that frantic..."

    "Oh please," She smiled, "I know what trying to save a friend looks like, and I know how it feels, too."

    She sighed.

    "I also know what it''s like to fail and lose them," she said sadly. "I never asked for the details. Gloria got pretty close to actually doing it, didn''t she?"

    "...yes..."

    "And you just had to ''stand'' there and watch, didn''t you?"

    "Yes."

    "You didn''t even have a body to tackle her with," She said calmly, "All you could do was try to talk Gloria, Gloria, when she has left her happy ce, out of it."

    "Yes."

    "Jesus, Bunny," She said sympathetically, "That must have sucked. I can''t even imagine what that was like."

    "I..." Bunny said hesitantly, "I¡­ I didn''t know what to do¡­ I knew when she started putting on her uniform that something was ''wrong,'' but until she¡­ until she pulled out her pistol¡­ I¡­ I didn''t know what to do!"

    "If it makes you feel any better," She replied, "Whatever you did worked."

    "But I didn''t know it was going to work!" Bunny eximed. "I had no fucking clue what to do! I just kept talking and trying to keep her talking¡­ trying to stall as long as I could¡­ trying to¡­ fuck¡­ I don''t even know what I was trying to do, She. I just¡­"

    "I know you are going to hate what I''m going to say next," She replied, "but wee to¡­ I guess it isn''t the ''human condition,'' is it? Wee to the weirdness that happens once we stop being¡­ or start being..."

    She shrugged.

    "Fuck," she said as she retrieved her mug, "I don''t know. I''m just a soldier. Look, all any of us can do is the best we can. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose..."

    "But if I had lost," Bunny replied, quite distressed, "Gloria would have died, died right in front of me! I don''t know what I would have done if that had taken ce."

    "Well," She replied, taking a sip, "You would relieve a Z''uush on night watch because you had yet another nightmare, for one thing."

    "Is that why you are here?"

    She nodded.

    "One bad call," she said, "one missed fragment of information¡­ and people died¡­ Sometimes even when you do everything exactly right, they still die, and you find yourself going over every single little detail over and over again, trying to see where you made a mistake so it will never happen again¡­ and even yearster, you still can''t find one. No matter how often you tell yourself that you did everything right, you still try to find the mistake because next time, and there will be a next time, that mistake might be the one you repeat¡­ and everyone dies¡­ It will drive you crazy if you let it, Bunny."

    She paused and thoughtfully drank a little more coffee.

    "This is the point where I should tell you that it''s impossible to be perfect and that you should just learn what you can and move on but dammed if I''ve figured out that trick yet. We humans¡­ and whatever the fuck you are¡­ Just have to keep slogging along until we can''t, I guess. Look, for what it''s worth, you''re a good¡­ program¡­ you actually care, and you do your best, more than your best. It''s all you can do. None of us are perfect, and neither is this world. All we can do is the best we can and pray that it''s enough this time. Sometimes it will be. Sometimes it won''t. Sometimes it won''t matter one way or the other. All we can do is try. With the right knowledge, experience, preparation, and, most importantly, the right people around you, you will win more often than not. That''s about the best you can hope for."

    She smiled.

    "And, for what it''s worth," she said, "I consider you one of ''the right people'' around me, Bunny."

    "...thank you..."

    "Now," She said as she set her cup back down, "Talk to me about exactly what happened when Gloria tried to off herself, step by step, starting from the morning briefing where I missed something very important."

    "You did?"

    "I did," She replied, "You aren''t the only one kicking themselves about that day, you know..."

    ***

    In another part of the vessel, Gloria stirred fitfully in her sleep and let out a little whimper.

    <em>" Everybody, on board now!!!" Gloria yelled as she stood next to the loading ramps of the little cargo shuttle she was piloting. "Move!"</em>

    <em>A crowd of small red-scaled bipeds rushed towards her ship and dozens like it.</em>

    <em>"Just what you can carry!" Gloria shouted as she looked at hermunicator.</em>

    <em>She made a distressed little whimper. They only had minutes before the "safe window" was over. The bug were headed this way. Based on their pattern, this would be the next system they hit. The Alduin was ordered not to engage them, only protect the Terran volunteer fleet as they helped evacuate after, always having to fall back, their job unfinished, leaving countless innocents to die.</em>

    <em>"That''s it, Ensign," a marine said to her, "You''re full."</em>

    <em>"Please!" one of the beings, a female (?), begged as she thrust a child towards Gloria.</em>

    <em>"Step away from the ship, please!" the marine said politely but forcefully as he stepped between the xeno and Gloria.</em>

    <em>" I''m sorry," Gloria replied, her heart breaking, "I can''t fit anyone else in on this run¡­ but I will be back in just a few minutes!" she said. "We will be running shuttles until the second we have to jump."</em>

    <em>" Y-you''reing back?" the xeno asked uncertainly.</em>

    <em>" I promise!"</em>

    <em>That promise ringing in her ears, Gloria drove her ship beyond anything close to reasonable, madness starting to creep into her eyes for the very first time, the shields starting to glow from the heat as she broke half a dozen regtions, the ship''s AI scolding her as it logged each infraction.</em>

    <em>This was supposed to be fun!</em>

    <em>The Alduin appeared as she left the atmosphere.</em>

    <em>...An adventure...</em>

    <em>She narrowed her eyes as she once again overrode automatic controls and drove her ship like a bullet toward the bay doors.</em>

    <em>"Princess!" a voice barked over thems, "Slow the fuck down! You areing in too hot!"</em>

    <em>"Control, this is Princess," Gloria replied, "I will be at a safe velocity when I reach the doors."</em>

    <em>"Negative! You will allow remote control of your ship NOW! I have dozens of inbound and don''t need you disrupting the pattern. If you override autopilot one more time, you will be grounded!"</em>

    <em>"FUCK!" Gloria screamed after the transmission ended as her ship settled into its predetermined approach.</em>

    <em>"Everybody out!!!" Gloria shouted at the disoriented xenos as they shuffled out of her shuttle and into one of the Alduin''s docking bays. "OUT!"</em>

    <em>A weary-looking navalmander wearing a flight suit approached as Gloria screamed at the xenos.</em>

    <em>"Princess..." he said gently.</em>

    <em>"What?..." Gloria asked as she saw him walking up.</em>

    <em>"No..." Gloria moaned as a realization hit her like a kick to the stomach.</em>

    <em>"I''m sorry," he said.</em>

    <em>ALL HANDS PREPARE FOR JUMP.</em>

    <em>"NO!" Gloria shouted, "I promised!... I PROMISED!!!"</em>

    Gloria stirred and kicked as the scene shifted again.

    <em>Her transport shook as it was hit by multiple energy bolts, piercing the shields and ripping through the cargo bay¡­ the fully packed cargo bay...</em>

    <em>...the now explosively dpressing cargo bay¡­</em>

    <em>"NOOOOOOO!!!"</em>

    ***

    Gloria awoke, gasping and iling.

    She sat up and looked over at the holo screen in her room, which helpfully switched on and disyed the time.

    She snarled at the unwanted memories, ones she was all too familiar with.

    "Get over it already¡­ Princess..." she spat as she looked at the time.

    Five hours.

    She shrugged.

    Close enough.

    She got up and started to get dressed.

    ***

    <em>The ground shook from both artillery and sma bolts as Lorna crouched behind a hastily erected berm.</em>

    <em>Just one more fucking, just like thest one. She didn''t even know its name. She stopped keeping track a while back. Somewhere along the line, the decision had been made to, instead of retreating every goddamn time, make the bug pay for every fucking inch of every fucking dirtball they tried to take.</em>

    <em>That suited Lorna just fine. For her, all it meant was that they died on the ground instead of huddling together in a troop carrier.</em>

    <em>At least this way, she got to take a few of those fuckers along with her¡­ And maybe, just maybe, they could save a few more of whichever race was on the block this week.</em>

    <em>She scanned the horizon with the small scanning telescopic sight mounted on the machine gun attached to her armor.</em>

    <em>She smiled.</em>

    <em>It turns out that the bug were afraid to die after all. Every target was crouching behind whatever cover they could find. Even their air support was bing a bit "timid" after the past few days.</em>

    <em>ATTENTION ALL UNITS. INITIAL REPORTS SHOW THAT SPACE SUPERIORITY HAS BEEN LOST. THE IMPERIAL FLEET HAS EITHER BEEN DESTROYED OR HAS WITHDRAWN. PHOENIX PROTOCOL IS NOW ACTIVE. REPEAT PHOENIX PROTOCOL IS NOW ACTIVE.</em>

    <em>Lorna looked over at her remainingrades, all of whom were receiving the same message across their HUDs.</em>

    <em>ALL REGULATIONS AND RESTRICTIONS INVOLVING COMBAT ENHANCERS ARE NOW LIFTED. STAND BY FOR FINAL ORDERS.</em>

    <em>Lorna let out a quiet curse.</em>

    <em>ALL UNITS! THIS IS GENERAL ORINOCO. THE IMPERIAL FLEET HAS BEEN DEFEATED. WE ARE ALL THAT''S LEFT HERE. I AM NOT GOING TO LIE AND SAY THAT WE ARE GOING TO WIN OR ANY BULLSHIT LIKE THAT. I WILL PROMISE YOU ONLY THIS. I AM NOT GOING OUT LIKE A BITCH, AND NEITHER ARE YOU. YOU ARE NOW EACH RECEIVING ALL INTELLIGENCE IN MY POSSESSION CONCERNING THE ENEMY, AND YOU WILL ALL BE UPDATED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IF POSSIBLE. WE WILL BE EXPERIENCING ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT MOMENTARILY. ALL UNITS ARE TO BREAK UP INTO NOTHING LARGER THAN PLATOONS AND ARE TO MAINTAIN SAFE DISTANCE FROM EACH OTHER UNLESS COORDINATING FOR A SINGLE STRIKE. COMPANY-SIZED ELEMENTS WILL BE STRUCK FROM ORBIT IF DETECTED. MY FINAL ORDER IS¡­ MAKE. THEM. BLEED. EVERY DAY THAT THEY SPEND HERE IS ONE MORE DAY ANOTHER WORLD HAS TO EVACUATE, ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER SYSTEM HAS TO FORTIFY ITSELF, AND ANOTHER SHIP FLYING OUT OF THE SHIPYARD. MAKE THEM BLEED. I AM NOW GRABBING MY RIFLE AND LEAVING MY HEADQ [TRANSMISSION LOST]</em>

    <em>The ground started to shake, and the sky began to split apart as hellish rays of light shot down from the heavens. The bombardment had begun.</em>

    <em>SECOND PLATOON! PREDOSE WITH TWO FIRST-AID AUTO-INJECTORS AND WHATEVER GOODIES YOU LIKE. PREPARE TO ADVANCE!!!</em>

    <em>"Today''s as good a day as any," Lorna shrugged as she mmed two auto-injectors into her thigh and pulled out a small metal vial resembling a vape pen.</em>

    <em>She put it in her mouth and inhaled deeply as she triggered it. Immediately, the colors started to be over-saturated and grainy.</em>

    <em>She felt something nudge her arm. Turning, she saw a slightly glowing hand reach for her inhaler. She grinned and passed it over to them.</em>

    <em>Images started to appear on her HUD, indicating targets and their immediate objective.</em>

    <em>SECOND PLATOON! ADVANCE IN 3¡­. 2¡­ 1¡­ ADVANCE!</em>

    <em>As the first grenades detonated, Lorna howled and charged.</em>

    ***

    Lorna''s eyes opened, and she sighed happily.

    She looked over at Mike, still sound asleep.

    "Mike!" she whispered as she shook his shoulder. "Mike!"

    "What?" a groggy and somewhat annoyed voice replied.

    "I had the dream again!"

    "Again?" Mike groaned. "Sleep now."

    "Sleepter!" she said as she pulled at him.

    "Fine!" Mike replied as he flopped onto his back.

    Giggling, Lorna pounced.

    ***

    A few hourster, Eno awoke from apletely blissful and untroubled oblivion, refreshed and happy.

    He looked down at Sheloran, still draped across his chest, snoring wet little snores from her gills.

    He smiled and gentlyid his hand on her shoulder.

    Sheloran smiled in her sleep and snuggled in closer.

    With a contented sigh, he let his eyes close again.

    ***

    Author''s note:

    In the pre-war Republic Navy, it wasn''t always easy to get in, especially if you wanted to fly. However, there was always ONE surefire way...

    Moray pilot. There was usually an open berth for one of those, and the Republic would let even a "xen Princess" who qualified join. Of course, with no war going on, the Morays and Shrikes didn''t do much besides patrol or the asional interdiction. As a result, it was possible for an ambitious pilot to qualify on other light vessels such as shuttles, cargo transports, and other such things. Gloria jumped at the chance, and "Princess" happily flew whatever shit job that she could get. There was even talk of shifting her designation, but that didn''t happen before the war started.

    During the build-up to actual hostilities, the Republic Navy did assist in humanitarian efforts such as evacuation, patrolling shipping routes, and protecting the ever-increasing numbers of Terran civilian ships that were spontaneously volunteering to assist in the evacuation of Imperial civilians.

    It was those memories that haunted Gloria on this particr night.

 Chapter 228: Buying Trouble: The Incredible Humans!

    Chapter 228: Buying Trouble: The Incredible Humans!

    Captain Vexp was on the bridge reviewing the status panels with concern. Every trip, there was more and more amber and purple where white should be.

    Redundancy was lost on several vital systems. They were literally one brokenponent away from being dead in space¡­ or worse.

    He pulled up their finances, and his concern deepened. Getting the ship to even the barest minimum of "safe" would burn through all of the meager headway they had managed to achieve and more.

    They only had one ship. If it was lost¡­

    He clenched his circr mouth to a pinhole and barely managed to avoid letting out a distressed whistle. Fortunately, few people on the ship or in their little colony knew how bad things actually were. Between keeping their one ship barely running, the pitiful profit margins they could manage, and the ''gifts'' they had to give ''their friends''¡­

    And then Beep decided to buy two new ves¡­

    He made a conscious effort to rx his expression and at least appear calm.

    It wasn''t Beep''s fault. Vexp and Belq, Beep''s mother and "captain" of theside colony, had made the decision to maintain the illusion that things were going much more smoothly than they actually were. Why deny the rest of them the sleep that they were robbed?

    He closed his eyes and uttered a silent prayer to The Great Heap, begging for something, anything to help them.

    His prayers were interrupted by thest person he wanted to hear from at that particr moment.

    "Captain Vexp!" Beep eximed, "Captain Vexp!!!"

    The captain excreted and swallowed a calming mouthful of saliva before he turned around.

    "Yes, Beep?" he asked.

    "Captain!!!" Beep said, bobbing up and down so excitedly he was actually bouncing, his tail plume fluttering like a child''s. "The humans havepleted their proficiency testing!!!"

    <em>At least he looks happy,</em> the captain thought. <em>Hopefully, they weren''t aplete waste of money¡­ and food¡­ and oxygen¡­ and water¡­</em>

    "Were they everything you hoped they would be?" The captain asked.

    "No!!!" Beep said, fluting hysterically, "They''re <em>more!"</em>

    His tentacles trembling, he offered the captain a cracked data pad.

    "This¡­" the captain said after a few moments, "This can''t be correct."

    "I double-checked!!!" Beep flute-giggled. "They ''broke'' the test¡­ <em>in all areas</em>¡­ Engineering¡­ Math¡­ Science¡­ Medicine¡­ Piloting¡­ Navigation¡­ Electronics¡­ Troubleshooting¡­ They¡­ They¡­ Oh, my Heap!¡­ They can do <em>anything!"</em>

    "They are <em>both</em> ship pilots <em>and</em> navigators?" The captain said in disbelief. "They are <em>both</em> engineers?"

    "And and and and..." Beep squeak-flute-giggled, "Look at thepletion time!"

    "Oh... Heap..." the Captain muttered,pletely shocked.

    "They both said that theypleted ''part one'' and were ready for the ''next module''!"

    "Beep?"

    "Yes, Captain?"

    "Could you please bring both of them to the bridge, please?"

    ***

    Upon their arrival, the captain congratted the pair on their excellent performance and cleared the bridge.

    He then pulled up the ship''s status on the main screen.

    "Oh, you <em>have</em> to be <em>kidding</em> me!" n eximed when he took a look at the ship''s status indicators.

    "Um¡­ Yeah..." Grace said a few secondster. "If you want to just sell us at your next stop, that will be great..."

    "As you can see, we are in a bit of a predicament," The captain said calmly.

    "You think?!?" n eximed. "Why the fuck did you let it get this bad?"

    "We have no ship''s engineer, and nobody on the crew is capable of performing anything but the most basic of repairs. I can do a little bit more, but not much. As such, we have to pay outsiders for each repair, and our finances are, to be honest, not good."

    "They will be a lot worse when you lose your fucking ship, pal," Grace replied as she tapped at a series of icons on a control panel, causing an entirely new menu to appear, one that the captain didn''t even know existed.

    She looked back at him.

    "Lucky for you, this ship is Federation technology¡­ more likely a clone or salvage because this interface wasn''t locked out. You really need to password protect this, by the way. You do NOT want this easily essible."

    The ship''s screens were suddenly filled with data.

    As the captain watched in awe, n and Grace paced back and forth, pulling up screen after screen and jabbering to each other in high-technobabble.

    A few minutester, they both turned to the captain.

    "Well," n said, "It''s actually not as bad as it looks, which is a good thing. It still sucks, but we may be able to get a few of these systems back online. We aren''t going to do <em>shit</em> while we are in hyperspace, though, for reasons that I hope are obvious. When we return to normal space, we can start work."

    "While we are waiting," Grace said in apletely different and very professional tone, "We need to look at your repair parts stores, tools, test equipment, and anything else you might have lying around. Please tell me you have a robo-fac."

    "I think it''s broken," the Captain replied.

    "Of course, it is," n facepalmed. "That we <em>can</em> start work on."

    "We are going to need a dedicated work area, one we can lock," Grace said. "Only we have the key, and you, of course. Some of the things we are going to try are very delicate, and one grubby little fingerprint¡­ or whatever the fuck those things are print¡­ could wreck something we could have salvaged."

    "We are also going to need to buy some parts, materials, tools, and the like," n said, "Not to make any assumptions, but based on these disys, I gotta ask¡­ Exactly how broke are you?"

    The captain let out a worry whistle.

    "What I am sharing with you is under the strictest confidence," he said. "Most of the colony doesn''t know what I am about to show you. It is only out of¡­ desperation¡­ and your apparent skill that I do so now."

    A spreadsheet appeared.

    Neither human reacted immediately as they looked over the figures. The captain expected dismay, despair¡­ outrage even¡­

    The humans just¡­ stood there.

    n started scrolling back and forth a little.

    They started muttering to each other again. The captain tried to eavesdrop, but while they were definitely speaking "Federation," they were using a lot of words from some strangenguage he had never heard of before, as well as terms that, while Federation sounding, were terms he was not familiar with.

    "Well..." Grace said after a while, "Not exactly the best quarterly report, and we need to have a little chat with your ountant about formatting..."

    "I prepared these spreadsheets myself!"

    "No offense," Grace replied, "but it shows."

    "Yeah..." n mused, "The budget is <em>tight</em>, but we can work with this. Especially if we can get the fac running and we get lucky on some of those systems on hard lockdown. No guarantees until we get in there, of course."

    "I got a whole list of other questions about your expenses," Grace said to the increasingly overwhelmed captain, "But I figure we need to focus on getting the ship in better shape first."

    The captain nodded.

    "Thank you," he said.

    "Hey, we are all in this together," n smiled, "at least for now."

    "Might as well get started," Grace added as she returned the screens back to normal. "Why don''t you show us what this rust bucket has lying around so we can get a proper n together."

    "Beep should know where everything is or at least who to ask," the captain replied as he summoned him.

    The door to the bridge opened, revealing Beep.

    "Damn, dude," Grace smirked, "Were you fucking that hatch or what?"

    The captain, smiling at Grace''s remark, said, "Assist these two. Get them whatever they need."

    ***

    Aughably overdressed grey-green skinned slender xeno red at Jessica Morgan''s politely smiling visage.

    "Who are you, and where did you get this connection?" he demanded.

    "I am Jessica Morgan, ruler of one of the nations of humanity. More specifically, I am the ruler of the humans that your people seem to be fond of capturing and selling into very. I would like, leader to leader, request their collection and safe return, please."

    The xeno coughed with surprise and outrage.

    "Who are you to demand anything of the mighty [emailprotected]''an?!?"

    "I demanded nothing," Jessica replied, her eyes beginning to sparkle coldly, "I simply <em>requested</em> the return of the humans you currently have in captivity and the retrieval and return of the ones that your people have sold as a favor between rulers. Oh, any ships or other personal property taken would be nice, too."

    "Are you making sport with me?"

    "Not yet," Jessica smiled evilly, "That is the purpose of this call, to give you the opportunity to prevent that."

    "I shall ughter all of your pathetic kind for your impertinence!"

    "Do you honestly think I give two shits about the actual humans you have?" Jessica smirked. Any human who let themselves get captured by the likes of you are the very definition of ''a waste of food''."

    She leaned forward.

    "This is more about the principle of the matter," she said, looking the xeno right in the eye, "I don''t give a fuck about <em>a</em> human or a <em>hundred</em> humans or even a <em>million</em> humans."

    She smiled a soulless smile.

    "What I do care about is the pathetic [emailprotected]''an and all of the other <em>lesser races</em> like you looking at a human and doing <em>anything</em> other than getting the <em>fuck</em> out of their way. It seems that a message must be sent, an example be made. You have exactly thirty seconds to beg my forgiveness and do exactly what I <em>politely requested</em> before your <em>whole fucking species</em> bes one of those examples."

    The xeno screamed in rage.

    "We shall bathe the stars in the blood of your kind!" he shouted.

    "Twenty seconds," Jessica smiled.

    "I shall have all of your kind delivered to me, and I shall <em>personally</em> defile them!¡­ I will..."

    Jessica didn''t reply as the xeno ranted and raved. She just looked at her mechanical wristwatch¡­

    A few secondster, she smiled.

    "My ambassadors are already in position," she smiled. "They are quite the troupe¡­ Enjoy the show."

    The line went dead.

    "[emailprotected]!" he screamed.

    The richly engraved door to his office swung open as another of his kind, in beautifully decorated armor, entered and snapped to attention.

    "Find where these <em>pathetic</em> humans hide and send our <em>fleet</em>! Teach them to fear the [emailprotected]''an... and this ''Jessica Morgan''... Capture her and deliver her to me¡­ <em>alive</em>!" he screeched.

    "Yes, Premier!" [emailprotected] shouted and turned to leave, colliding with another armored xeno who frantically sprinted into the room, causing a loud crash.

    "Premier!" the new arrival shouted, his eyes wild with terror. "Over a <em>hundred</em> ships just entered the system! They¡­ they said that someone called Kessicka Murrgoan told you that they wereing."

    ***

    As the sun fell upon their world, the Premier''s war room, previously filled with increasingly frantic and then hysterical activity, fell silent.

    It was over¡­

    It was all over¡­

    Their fleet was either destroyed, seized by the enemy, or soon would be. Every station was overrun and in the hands of the humans¡­

    Vomit now pooled upon the formerly pristine and polished tiles of the room because of what they had seen take ce¡­ what was still taking ce¡­

    ...what was being transmitted across the entire system¡­

    They didn''t even have time to murder the captive humans. They were all on the trade stations. They fell too quickly.

    Their ships couldn''t stop them. Their troops couldn''t stop them¡­

    Nothing could stop them¡­

    Nothing¡­

    "P...premier..." his young nephew and a colonel in his army stammered, all color gone from his face, "We have just intercepted a transmission¡­ They say that..."

    He looked at the Premier with terrified eyes.

    "They say that ''their hearts sing at the taste of our flesh''¡­ Oh, Gods¡­ They¡­ They''ve just requested refrigerated transports..."

    ***

    At roughly the same time, Captain Vexp sat in his quarters, sipping a celebratory cup of <em>full strength</em> pepper tea, and watched yet another ship system go back online.

    Those humans¡­

    They were unbelievable¡­

    Nothing could stop them¡­ Nothing¡­ Theyughed at problems that even supposed skilled professionals said were impossible, "fixed"ponents that everyone else said had to be reced¡­

    ...and what they were doing with that "useless" robo-fac¡­ Heap itself!

    He smiled and prayed a prayer of sincere thanks to The Great Heap for their arrival¡­

    Finally¡­ <em>finally</em> things might just be turning around for them¡­

    He felt¡­ hope.

    ***

    Author''s note: Y''know... I''m starting to suspect that n and Grace aren''t your average young Porkies...

 Chapter 229: Well Paint Me White and Call Me a Harlequin

    Chapter 229: Well Paint Me White and Call Me a Harlequin

    Mjrrr huddled in her cage, clutching her son.

    Not that long ago, the [emailprotected] station came under attack, and from what she could tell, it was, inplete defiance of all suspension of disbelief, falling¡­

    ...and falling quickly.

    <em>Something</em> was tearing the mighty [emailprotected]''an <em>apart</em>.

    How did they get past their massive fleet? This station was in orbit above their very homeworld!

    The market was empty save for the ves themselves, abandoned in their disy cages or left shackled along a wall or at one trader''s shop or another.

    Why would they leave them?

    Who were they leaving them to?

    A hatch opened from deeper inside the station, and brightly dressed <em>humans</em> with strangely painted faces charged in¡­

    She didn''t know much about them. Only that there were a few of them among the unfortunates in this market.

    They seemed like a nice people, though. One even shared some food with her son even though he was clearly hungry himself.

    She felt hope for the first time in a very long while. She recalled that the human who shared his food said his people hated very. Maybe they were liberators?

    The humans were shouting and barking in some strange guttural, sibnt, alien-sounding tongue as they moved impossibly quickly across therge market, many leaping, flipping, or cartwheeling as they did so.

    Groups ran over to the cages and groups of chained ves.

    <em>They were going to be freed!</em>

    She looked over at the nice man who had shared his food and was in the samerge cage with her expecting to see joy on his face¡­

    ...There was no joy¡­

    only¡­ <em>Terror</em>

    Momentster, one of the humans tossed a small cube in front of their cage, which shed and surrounded them with swirling, glowing holographic walls.

    As soon as they were concealed, the human approached her.

    <em>He was trembling?</em>

    "Ste''hen?" she asked. "What is..."

    He touched her arm, a signal to be silent, as he brought his head close to hers.

    "Mjrr..." he whispered as he pressed something into her palm.

    <em>It was sharp!</em>

    She nced down to see a small piece of¡­ something¡­ ground to an edge¡­ A weapon!

    "Ste''hen, what is this?" she asked in rm. A weapon was grounds for the most severe of punishments. Where did he even get it?

    "It''s for your boy," he said grimly.

    "My boy?" Mjrr whispered in confusion, "He knows not how..."

    "It''s for <em>you</em> to <em>use</em> on your boy," he whispered. "These people¡­ If this goes bad¡­ You can''t let them have him, Mjrr¡­ you just <em>can''t</em>..."

    He positioned himself between them and the cage door.

    "I''ll try to hold them up," he whispered, "When I do, grant him mercy."

    Mjrr, stunned with confusion, fear, and dismay, just crouched there, pressing the shiv into the fur of her thigh.

    "I don''t understand," she whispered, her voice shaking, "Are we not being saved?"

    "Saved..." Stephen chuckled ruefully, "these people don''t save. The Devil has judged the [emailprotected]''an, and she didn''t send her angels¡­ not that they would have been much better,e to think."

    He giggled quietly but hysterically.

    She looked over at the other human in therge cage, Ste''hen''s mate, who was looming in front of the only other child in their cage, a frail-looking Meekxe.

    <em>They were preparing to fight?</em>

    She knew not how much time had psed. Perhaps it was only minutes. Perhaps it was hours.

    Suddenly, the "walls" around their cage started to fade as the room was filled with strange, strangely serene, alien music.

    As she could once again see beyond the walls of her cage, her heart froze¡­

    <em>It was nightmarish!</em>

    It was worse than even what she had beheld when her ship was overrun by the [emailprotected]''an pirates!

    Bodies¡­ of [emailprotected]¡¯an and other races alike¡­

    Mangled¡­ <em>mutted</em>¡­

    And not all were dead. Some were still alive, wounded, or captured and begging for mercy.

    A single one of these new humans, dressed in white pants stained with sshes of purple, a beautiful glossy red coat with tails, and a fancy hat, approached. She seemed younger(?) than Ste''hen''s mate and certainly more¡­ sleek(?).

    The most notable thing about her, though, was the way she moved as she silently approached their cage. Each move was exaggerated and "awkward," but yet it wasn''t. Her limbs looked as if they were controlled by another as if she was a traditional puppet from her homnd.

    She stopped before their cage and performed a deep, sweeping bow seeming to almost fall over before returning to her full height and looking at them with wide open, unblinking eyes.

    Mjrr looked at her with horrified awe. She was both one of the prettiest and most terrifying things she had ever seen. Now that she could see it clearly, the human''s face was a piece of living art, pure white decorated with vibrant colors exaggerating or concealing her natural features with strange symbols on both cheeks (A very embellished heart on one cheek and an equally intricate diamond on the other).

    The only thing that looked out of ce was the purple stains around her mouth¡­

    running down her chin¡­

    her neck¡­

    ...and staining the beautiful ruffled cor...

    <em>Oh, benevolent spirits!</em> Mjrr prayed silently.

    She knew what that "purple" was.

    The "beautiful doll" standing in front of them smiled, revealing wickedly sharpened teeth very unlike the teeth that the humans she had seen before possessed.

    The Harlequin bent forward at the waist almost ny degrees as she silently stroked her chin, examining them.

    She then snapped upright with exaggerated surprise and pointed at Stephen, waving frantically as she made a huge smile, the face paint exaggerating it further.

    She then snarled and adopted a wide-legged stance with her fists raised as she bounced back and forth for a few moments before she popped up again and silently mimed humanughter as she clutched her sides.

    Wiping an imaginary tear from her cheek, she shook her head and made cating gestures with her hands before falling to her knees, hands raised in a universal sign of begging for mercy.

    Stephen''s shoulders slumped a little.

    She then made a few other, more species-specific gestures that Mjrr didn''t understand, and Stephen seemed to rx a little.

    She then pointed at Mjrr as she mimed stabbing someone¡­

    and held out her hand.

    Mjrr numbly stood, shuffled towards the door, and gave the shiv to the human.

    The Harlequin then looked at Stephen''s wife and contorted the upper part of her face as she made a strange wiggling motion with her index finger and held out her hand again.

    "I don''t have anything!" the human cried.

    The Harlequin started tapping one of her feet¡­

    and then mimed shoving her fist inside something, grabbing something else, and yanking it out forcefully.

    The human female sighed, backed to a corner of the cell, and turned her back¡­

    Momentster, she stepped forward holding a tightly wrapped small item, offering it to the painted young woman¡­

    Who actually spoke.

    "Ew."

    She pointed at the ground.

    The captive human tossed the item where the Harlequin pointed, and then the brightly dressed woman kicked it a surprising distance away.

    Then, with surprising rity, the brightly dressed and painted womanmunicated that they were okay, wouldn''t be harmed, and they should just wait a little while¡­

    All without saying a word¡­

    Then, she crouched down and stared at Mjrr''s son!

    She beckoned to him, smiling "pleasantly" (and without showing those horrible teeth).

    He timidly approached. Every instinct inside Mjrr screamed that she should stop him, that what he was approaching was a <em>dangerous animal</em>, perhaps the most dangerous creature Mjrr had ever or perhaps would ever encounter¡­

    But a more rational voice said that they were entirely at that demon''s mercy, and the only thing she would do would be to alienate it¡­

    So, praying with every bit of her soul to every single being she thought might listen, she didn''t stop her son.

    When he arrived at the wall of the cage, the Harlequin waved.

    Her son, eyes wide, waved back.

    The Harlequin took off her hat, revealing light silver/brown hair, and shook it soundly, showing the child the inside.

    Then she rolled up the sleeve of her jacket and removed her purple-stained white glove, carefully showing the child both sides of her hand.

    She then smiled and snapped her fingers.

    Mjrr gasped. There was suddenly a brightly wrapped food bar where there was nothing before!

    <em>How could it be?!? Were they¡­ magic?</em>

    The magical human then tossed the bar from one hand to the other¡­

    <em>And there were TWO bars!!!</em>

    She smiled and pointed first to her son and then to the other child in the cage as she gave Mjrr''s overjoyed son the bars.

    The Harlequin then rose and flipped her hat into the air with her boot¡­

    where it thennded perfectly on her head.

    With a skip and a jump, she trotted over to the next cage.

    "Nobody touches those bars except for the two kids," Stephen said quietly and gravely, "The Harlequin are showing mercy to us. That can change at <em>any</em> second. If it does..."

    He pointed at the horror that they had all been sessfully distracted from for a few moments¡­

    ***

    Not that muchter, Mjrr, Stephen, and all the rest of the ves found themselves being led down a corridor by the same cheerful and bright Harlequin in the red coat, now dancing and skipping along while waving two rods with long holographic ribbons that danced in impossiblyplex patterns around her¡­

    and apanied by some rather less "fancy" but much better armed (or visibly armed) harlequins¡­

    A much nicer-looking hatch automatically opened¡­

    The ves all gasped as they walked into a beautiful "shopping mall" concourse¡­

    Standing before them were nicely dressed and absolutely terrified looking [emailprotected]''an.

    The "doll in the red coat" happily gestured at the ves and twirled about with her ribbons¡­

    One of the [emailprotected]''an glowered at her¡­

    With a smile, the Harlequin twirled towards him, letting one of her ribbons wrap around his neck¡­

    ¡­ <em>and take his head off</em>, showering the others with bright purple blood.

    She then danced and twirled around the other [emailprotected]''an ribbons flickering around them as they stood perfectly still, some with their eyes wide with terror, others with their eyes tightly shut¡­

    She then cartwheeled, ribbons flying everywhere, back in front of the ves and gestured happily towards them again¡­

    "Bow!" another harlequin shouted.

    Everyone, [emailprotected]''an and ve alike, bowed instantly, causing the doll in the red coat to mimic roaring withughter.

    "Stop bowing!" the same Harlequin shouted, and everyone did so, afraid to disobey. "You purple snacks, get these people dressed. Give them anything they want. <em>You</em> serve <em>them</em> now. Take their measurements at the restaurant, so they don''t have to wait."

    "Y-yes, sir..." a [emailprotected]''an female said,pletely terrified.

    The Harlequin in the red coat made a "tut-tut" sound and approached her with disapproval in her eyes.

    "Performers¡­ or <em>livestock</em>¡­ do not speak unless given leave," the speaking Harlequin said in a matter-of-fact tone.

    The [emailprotected]''an whimpered as the red-d doll walked towards the [emailprotected]''an with heavy, exaggerated, puppet-like footsteps.

    The doomed shop clerk burst into tears, wetting herself.

    "Please..." she whispered¡­ "Pl¡ª"

    The word froze in her throat as the mime, inches away from her face, "tut-tutted" again.

    The clerk closed her eyes¡­

    And felt a gentle kiss on her forehead and a firm but equally gentle pressure on her lips.

    She opened her eyes to see the blood-stained silent demon smiling(?) at her with one of her fingers on her lips and one on her own¡­

    She then patted the clerk on the shoulder, backflipped away a few times, gestured to the ves, and then skipped and cartwheeled down the concourse, leaping from bench to bench, hopping from nter to nter, and swinging from any convenient signage as she did so.

    Eventually, she stopped before arge, richly decorated set of double doors and opened one with a sweeping, bowing flourish, indicating that the ves should go inside.

    More than a little stunned, they all stumbled into a fancy restaurant, where more very well-dressed and absolutely terrified [emailprotected]''an awaited them.

    "W-wee to (hurk!)"

    A Harlequin kicked it in the gut, causing the [emailprotected]''an to crumble to the floor.

    "tsk..." the doll in the red coat huffed. "  ..." she said as she opened and closed her hand in front of her mouth.

    "Stopying around and greet our guests!" another harlequin shouted as they kicked the poor [emailprotected]''an again.

    "W... (gag)¡­ Wee to¡­ (cough)¡­ The house of...(hurrrg)..."

    The doll harlequin sighed heavily and just made a scooching gesture toward the seating area.

    "Come on," another harlequin said as they gently herded the ves into the restaurant proper.

    Mjrr flinched as she heard a wet, snapping sound behind them, followed by that scary red-coated one scampering past with a giggle¡­ leaving fresh purple footprints on the carpet as she did so.

    The red-d Harlequin cartwheeled into the center of the room and then pped her hands.

    "Those of you who we have spared can nowe forward and serve our guests!" a harlequin shouted, "You are allowed to speak."

    A few [emailprotected]''an, who had been huddling along the walls, timidly stepped forward, tablets in hand¡­

    ***

    "Say what now?" a very displeased-looking xeno wearing surprisingly human-looking dockers and a polo shirt said as it ruffled its thin wispy pangolin-like scales.

    Grace smiled pleasantly.

    "I <em>said</em> that I was wondering how you would like to refund my employer concerning the work that these invoices <em>im</em> was performed on his vessel that was, in fact, not performed and what we are going to work out concerning these so-called ''repair parts'' that you stated <em>right here</em> were both new, and the <em>exact recements specified by the manufacturer</em> when in fact they are poor quality salvage pulls that wouldn''t have met specifications when they were new."

    The xeno growl-hissed.

    "I don''t appreciate you makin'' these <em>wild usations</em> about my workers and my business when you have <em>nothin''</em> you can back it up with!"

    Grace pulled out their only cracked tablet and started scrolling down a long list of ship readouts.

    "What''s all that then?"

    <em>" This,"</em> Grace smiled, "are detailed ship logs, status indicators, photographs of <em>the shit parts you im to have reced</em>, and much more that back up exactly what I am talking about."

    "Good luck trying to get anythin'' of that to stick," the xeno replied, "the magistrate don''t understand none of that, an'' he''s my cousin anyhow. Get lost."

    "I wasn''t going to show it to the magistrate," Grace purred, "I <em>am</em> going to put this on every board and email it to every single ship in the sector! I''m going to put it on repeat and st it on the open channel. Every single ship''s captain across the sector will know all about you and the shit you pull, and they will understand what''s on this tablet."

    She sat on his desk.

    "I wonder if that cousin of yours will give you a job after this ce <em>tanks."</em>

    "You got a lot of nerve for someone who could go missin'' real easy¡­ ve..." the xeno said as several rough-looking beings who were lounging nearby stood, and the ship''s mechanics stopped work and started stepping forward.

    Grace stood up and smiled, eyes sparkling.

    "n," she crooned, "Why don''t you and Beep go looking for some salvage we can buy? I''ll catch up."

    n rushed up to Grace.

    "Grace!" he whispered urgently, "No! Bad Grace!<em> Bad!</em>¡­ We are <em>harmless</em>¡­ remember¡­ <em>harmless</em>..."

    "Well, you''re no fun at all..." Grace replied a bit louder. "Fine, we''ll do it <em>your</em> way..."

    She turned the tablet to face the leader.

    It had a huge red "send" icon on it.

    "Wait!" the xeno shouted.

    "Let me handle this," n replied. "Look, Garrvix¡­ can I call you Garrvix?"

    "No."

    "We are all reasonable people, Garrvix," n smiled. "We don''t want to cause you trouble, and you don''t want to cause us trouble, right?"

    Garrvix just stood there, staring at the big red button and Grace''s finger hovering just over it.

    "You just want to make a buck¡­ sorry¡­ some credits," n said reassuringly, "We get it. We do. Neither my friend nor I are angels by a long shot, trust me."

    "And you should be happy about that," Grace chirped, much to the xeno''s confusion.

    "We don''t <em>care</em> if you rip <em>other</em> people off," n smiled, "Hell, anybody who can''t catch this sort of scam gets what''sing in my book. I''d probably scam them too."

    n stepped forward in apletely non-threatening manner.

    "Tell you what," he continued, "work something out with us, and I''ll show you something that will make this sort of scam a LOT harder to catch."

    "Yeah," Grace said, "a couple of little nudges and all of these ship logs will match what your invoice says."

    "That has to be worth a few parts and some supplies, right?" n smiled.

    "An'' you''ll just show us how to do that?"

    "Sure, why not," n shrugged, "I only owe these guys, not the whole fucking gxy."

    The xeno shrugged, walked over to a nearby fridge, and pulled out four bottles.

    "Can you guys metabolize fructose?..."

    ***

    "I can''t <em>be-lieve</em> that worked!" Beep said a little whileter as they, with the assistance of some very happy xenos (including the one in the "polo shirt") were loading up an impressive amount of parts, wire, cable, tools, scrap, more parts, broken parts, parts that sort of fit and parts that didn''t fit at all.

    "Business is business," n shrugged as sweat beaded on his bare back.

    "It''s all about the creds, Beep," a shirtless Grace replied. "Once they knew we wouldn''t take shit and we knew they wouldn''t take shit, it was just a simple transaction. The first bit was just getting to know each other, one of our handshakes, if you will."

    "Listen to the human, featherbutt," the pangolxeno chuffed happily. "She knows. She was the rough fist with the ''im'' and pressed it hard and proved that she knew more about those hidden logs than we do, which is saying somethin''. He was the smooth fist that held the actual deal they wanted all along in its grip. When the im failed¡­ and I showed my rough fist and showed that I was exactly who they were actually looking for¡­ it was time for the smooth hands to grasp arms."

    "But why did it have to be so <em>scary?"</em> Beep asked.

    n facepalmed as the xeno roared withughter.

    "I ask myself that every fucking day featherbutt," the xeno chuckled.

    They resumed working for a bit.

    "So what''s the deal?" the xeno asked n as they drug a "worthless" chunk of hyperdrive into the transport, "You and the other human could eat these loom-baits for breakfast¡­ literally¡­ I looked you guys up on the  before I came out here."

    "We don''t all do that, you know..." n grumbled, "Hardly anyone does that anymore. Jesus¡­¡±

    "Even so," the xeno said, taking care that Beep didn''t hear," <em>They</em> own <em>you?</em> That makes no sense. You could take them down anytime you want."

    "And crew their ship with two people?" n chuckled quietly, "We''d wind up working ten times as hard as we do as ''ves''..."

    He smiled quietly.

    "Besides," he added, bringing his head close to the xeno, "sometimes it''s best to have <em>someone else''s</em> face in front of yours, understand?"

    The xeno''s eyes sparkled knowingly.

    "Ah," he said sagely. "You make the deals, and you run the ship, but they take the fall."

    n smiled.

    "I have no idea what you are talking about. I''m just a simple ve¡­ innocent and harmless..."

    The xeno snorted loudly.

    ¡°Ok¡­ Marrkuhunna...¡±

    ¡°Marr¡­ what?¡±

    "An old story from where Ie from. He was just an innocent ve too..."

    "Got it," n smiled. "The wiggle worms are actually pretty decent guys, though. Fortunately for them, we really like the little dudes. They actually gave us set contracts. We''re ''indentured servants'', not ''ves''."

    "A what now?"

    "Okay," n said, "Here''s the deal..."

    "Farewell," the xeno said as they finished loading up the transport, "be sure to drop by any time you are around here. We''ll happily buy any ''salvage'' youe across."

    "Oh, we will," Grace said with a big grin as she sped his arm.

    She leaned in close.

    "You guys can chop ships, right?"

    "Oh yeah," the xeno whispered. "We can move just about anything you ''find''."

    "Good to know," Grace whispered back and winked.

    ***

    When they returned to the ship, the transport nearly dragging on the ground, they were confronted by a very unhappy captain...

    "...Yeah..." n winced, "They do that sort of thing..."

    "But you said that humans didn''t do ''that sort of thing'' anymore!" the captain eximed.

    "Technically," Grace replied, "we said that it ''<em>almost</em> never happened''..."

    "Almost?!?"

    "...except for the ''absolute worst'' of the houses..."

    "And the Harlequin are pretty much the worst," n added, "well at least in the top five..."

    "Yeah, they are real freak shows, the lot of them," Grace said nonchntly. "I dated one of them once¡­ total psycho. I had to¡­ um¡­ I had to be very firm when I broke it off."

    "From what I heard, he was really ''broken up'' over the whole thing," he smirked, pletely fell to pieces..."

    Grace punched his arm and gave him ''the look''.

    The captain and crew didn''t notice such subtleties. They were kind of distracted at the moment.

    "They say they are going to hunt down everyone who has enved <em>or bought</em> a human!!!" the captain stress whistled.

    "Yeah," Grace shrugged, "So?"

    <em>" We bought a human!!!"</em> the captain whistle-shrieked," <em>Two humans!!!"</em>

    "And you then liberated us from very and offered some very attractivebor contracts," n replied, "What''s the big deal?"

    "The big deal is that those¡­ <em>flesh eaters</em>¡­ aren''t going to know that!" the captain shouted the same way a tea kettle would if you kicked it in the nuts.

    "Oh yeah..." Graceughed, "that might be a problem."

    "AAAAAaaaaaAAaaaaaa!!!!" the captain shrieked with horrified, frustrated rage.

    n sighed and looked at Grace.

    "No!" Grace shouted. "No fucking way!"

    "We gotta, babe," he replied, "Even if we leave right now, there is a good chance that the eggheads are going to track us down. You know how they can get. If they say they are tracking down all the humans, then that''s exactly what they are going to do."

    ¡°Fuuuuuuuckkkk...¡± Grace moaned and facepalmed.

    "We gotta make this right," n sighed, "If we don''t and we aren''t here¡­ Do you <em>really</em> want the Harlequin to pay these guys a visit, maybe drop by their colony...<em>where their kids are</em>¡­ You <em>know</em> these guys are edible."

    "Wait!" the captain eximed, "We''re <em>edible?!?</em> When did you know that?!?¡­ <em>Why do you know that?!?</em>"

    "Hey," Grace shrugged, "we didn''t know if you were nice guys or not when you ''saved'' us..."

    "So you were going to eat us?!? <em>You said that never happened!!!"</em>

    "We said that it ''almost'' never happened," Grace said defensively. "How long are you going to keep going on about that?"

    "About the fact that you were considering killing and eating us?!?"

    "We never seriously considered that," n said smoothly, "We hadn''t really even figured out how to take the ship when it became pretty damn clear that you were okay dudes, and we wanted to be a part of this."

    "And we weren''t going to <em>eat</em> you..." Grace said, "...unless it was going to be a long trip..."

    "What?!?"

    "Nothing!" Grace smiled innocently.

    "Can you please let the whole ''cannibalism'' thing go¡­ <em>please!"</em> n eximed.

    "I''m finding that rather difficult at the moment!" the captain tea kettled.

    "Would it help if I said that I would have felt bad about it?"

    "No!!!"

    n facepalmed.

    "Look, Captain..." n sighed, "We found out how great you guys are pretty damn quick," he said earnestly, "we <em>never</em> maliciously nned to do anything to you, not really..."

    "Not really?!?"

    ¡°(sigh)¡­ It''s just that¡­"

    n pondered things for a moment.

    ¡°This world¡­ gxy I mean¡­ It''s not a nice ce, and not nice things happen because of a lot of not nice people. We <em>wanted</em> to believe that we found a nice ce and that you were nice people, <em>good people.</em>.."

    "We really did," Grace said without her usual swagger.

    "As long as <em>you were exactly what you said you were,"</em> n continued, "we were <em>never</em> going to do anything other than fulfill our contracts and do <em>exactly</em> what we have been doing. Since you <em>are</em> some of those rare few good people in this messed up gxy, you had <em>absolutely nothing</em> to worry about from us."

    "Yeah..." Grace said earnestly, "we really like you guys¡­ We..."

    She looked down.

    "We want to stay," she said quietly. "We want to try to build a life <em>here</em>, with you guys, just a quiet little life where we can fix ships and pick through scrap."

    "If you don''t trust us anymore," n said, "and you want us to leave, we will. We would hate it, but we will. We''ll be just fine..."

    He looked at the captain with a very serious expression.

    "But, regardless of your decision," he said, "we''ll clear up things with the humans, so you don''t have to worry."

    "We know a guy..." Grace said as she smiled.

    "At least let us fix up your ship before you make us go, huh?" n said hopefully.

    The captain stood there and pondered things.

    They <em>needed</em> these humans. It wasn''t a matter of want. They needed their skills.

    They were so very close to failing, and if they did, they would be ves themselves¡­ if they were lucky.

    Ruin on one side and humans on the other¡­

    <em>Great Heap, give me warmth...</em>

    ***

    Grace and n twisted nervously before the grim-faced grey-haired man wearing a charcoal grey business suit who looked disdainfully at them from thousands of light years away.

    "You actually were captured and sold as ves?" he asked in a perfectly calm, even voice.

    n squeaked.

    "Well, any concerns about us dragging you back are nowpletely unfounded," the man replied in the same professional tone.

    His attention turned to a very nervous feather duster trying not to wiggle behind the pair.

    "And you are the one who purchased them?"

    "He is¡­ sir..." n stammered.

    "ves do not speak until they are spoken to," the grey-haired man said as n''s soul perished, "Captain, Vexp is it?"

    "Y-yes¡­ shirp?" Captain Vexp said, trying to use the human word.

    The human smiled.

    "Such honorifics are unnecessary between <em>free</em> men," he smiled, causing both n and Grace to shrink even further. "You can call me Quinn. I am a representative of the Forsaken and empowered to speak on behalf of them and on the behalf of Jessica Morgan, a name you perhaps have heard recently?"

    The captain nodded nervously.

    "The¡­ Harlequin¡­ are one of the houses who serve her¡­ and the Forsaken, of course," Quinn smiled. "Word of humans being victimized in your region of space reached us, and the decision was made to take decisive action to discourage these abuses in the future. It seems that they are doing the job that they are known for. Have you seen one of their little ''shows'' yet?"

    "N-no¡­ Quinn."

    "I would advise against it," Quinn said with a thin smile. "Please rest assured that they are not representative of a typical human nor represent the¡­ spirit¡­ of the Forsaken as a whole. You will find us very reasonable and easy to deal with as long as our people or our interests are not threatened."

    He looked at n and Grace.

    "These two are also not representative of us," he said coolly, "They are willing ves. I would advise against believing that is the norm. The next human you ''save'' could very well ughter you all before they realize that you are actually offering (scoff) an employment contract."

    Grace looked like she was about to throw up.

    "I will never buy another human again!" Captain Vexp cried.

    "That would be <em>exceedingly</em> wise," Quinn smiled. "Normally, I would insist that you bring the humans somece where we could separate them from you for physical examination and questioning to ensure they aren''t being coerced or otherwise influenced, but I know the <em>boy</em> and have some capacity to detect things from here..."

    <em>He does?!?</em> Vexp silently gasped.

    "Your <em>ves</em> can give you the details concerning that," Quinn smiled. "Oh, I know they are no longer officially ves. I know what they are. But from where I''m sitting, there is little difference where those two are concerned. I would rather just file this under ''birth defects'' and move on. There is no need to expose our embarrassment to the Harlequin."

    He looked at Grace, who wanted to melt and ooze under something dark.

    "I have spoken with your people as well, and they believe the same," he smiled, "In fact, they do not even wish to speak with you."

    Grace made a strangled noise.

    "From what we understand you¡­ <em>eloped</em>..." he hissed. "Obviously, none of us is pleased with this one bit but considering that <em>neither</em> of you are members of our families anymore, the personal affairs of ''ves'' is no concern of ours. You want to run off and get married? Fine. <em>Both</em> of you choose a newst name, email it to the Forsaken omnibus for registration, and never call upon us again. Do you understand?"

    Both Grace and n nodded.

    "Captain Vexp," Quinn said with a much more pleasant tone. "I wish you well in all of your future endeavors. Can we count you as a friend of humanity?"

    "A-absolutely!"

    "Splendid," Quinn smiled, "and we consider you a friend of ours as well. We may have liberated ves looking for <em>work</em>, actual work. If your people are as fair as these twobor contractors im that you are, there may be others who wish a simr deal. As long as you treat them fairly, and by that, I mean as you specify in your contract, we will have no problem with you. Humans do not need to be treated gently or with any undue preference. Work them until they drop if you wish. We are actually pretty good at that sort of thing. Just don''t abuse the <em>contract</em> or treat them to any cruel, unsafe, or otherwise unexpected environments. I have a <em>very</em> low opinion of the two you currently own, but they can provide guidance¡­ and supervision¡­ should the need arise."

    "T-thank you¡­ Quinn..." Captain Vexp replied, "But I think¡­ I think I need a break from humans for a bit¡­ at least until I find out how these two turn out."

    "Probably for the best," Quinn smiled. "They can get you in touch with the right people should you desire. Any questions or concerns before I terminate this call?"

    The captain''s plume twitched nervously.

    "Actually," he said cautiously, "I do. H-howmon is¡­ is¡­ humans¡­ I mean, how often do you¡­ actually¡­ um..."

    "Eat other sapient races, including our own?" Quinn chuckled.

    Captain Vexp nodded.

    "Oh, it hardly ever happens," Quinn replied politely as he terminated the call.

 Chapter 230: Zip Finds a Route

    Chapter 230: Zip Finds a Route

    The endless highway rolled ever onward as the sun rose above lush rolling green grasnd.

    What was once titanic farms and then ash-covered wastes had been reimed by nature, and endless fields of grasses and the asional patch of trees stretched as far as the eye could see.

    As the sun illuminated the interior of an electric container transport, an amber antenna extended from a nest of pillows, cushions, and a few cargo nkets resting on the fully reclined seats of the cab.

    Soon, another popped out, followed by a shiny amber-brown insectoid head.

    "Good morning, Kallo," Zip said, his voiceing from the truck''s console.

    "May the False and the True Gods bless your day," Kallo mumbled as he fully climbed out of his nest and started grooming himself.

    "There''s a rest stoping up in about fifteen minutes," Zip said cheerfully. "It doesn''t have showers, but you don''t seem to like those."

    "I don''t dislike them," Kallo replied as he pulled out a packet of seaweed-wrapped soynuggies from his nest. "I don''t require as frequent hygenic bathing as a human, and I must be very careful with the temperature controls. The human''s fondness for water they call ''hot'' can actually be lethal for me. A shallow basin of warm water is all I require."

    "Cool," Zip replied. "There is an operational well there if you want to refill your bottles. ording to the humans, it''s supposedly quite pleasant tasting."

    Kallo made a happy little chitter. Well water and its endless variety was a delightful discovery during this long strange journey on which he found himself. Water was his favorite beverage, and its sterile uniformity had been a disappointment ever since he left his homeworld.

    Now, all of that had changed. The water out here ranged from sterile purity to water so choked with minerals that it almost left a film in his mouth to marginally potable fluid that hadnguished in metal pipes so long that it made his mouthparts buzz from all of the ions. Each ''well'' was different and nuanced, just like home!

    Speaking of, he opened a small chest he had acquired, fabricated at one of the strange, alien maintenance depots he had visited. Inside, it was filled with nothing but reused water bottles, each drawn from a tap, spigot, or sink he had encountered along the way.

    He selected one of hisst bottles of "Waffle Station 528", a particrly fine sample and a perfect pairing with his meal. Its metallicity and hardness a true delight.

    He savored the soynuggies and water as he looked out onto the strange highway on which he traveled. It was a straight stretch of nearly perfect road,pletely abandoned save for the asional "road lotive", a long fusion-powered transport that was usually pulling dozens of trailers, each holding a single shipping container, a car carrier that transported numerous smaller Zip Cars or Unified Taxis, or very rarely, a single smaller vehicle or convoy as they were shuttled from one poption center or another.

    In almost all cases, these vehicles werepletely autonomous and without passengers as the powerful AIs and their own systems guided them from one point to another.

    Zip had exined it all to him. Although the Republic had excellent rapid transit, most cargo simply did not need to get anywhere particrly quickly as long as it got there ording to a predictable schedule. Hence, it arrived atrge cargo starports well away from poption centers and was offloaded into huge cargo depots where it was then loaded onto impossiblyrge cargo trains, many miles long, and then moved to other depots and then to smaller warehouses and ultimately to one city or town somewhere on the via one of the massive trucks like the one in which he was hitching a ride.

    It was a marvel to behold, especially the trains. Kallo still couldn''t get over them. His people had trains, even trains that he <em>thought</em> were huge¡­

    But they were <em>nothing</em>pared to the sheer majesty of what he had seen once this strange trip had begun.

    The depots were no less awe-inspiring. They were cities of shipping containers stacked impossibly high, the "streets" crowded by mechanical wonders that would constantly shuffle through them, adding to and taking from the endless walls of goods.

    All of it waspleted with almost no human (or any other living being''s) intervention. Zip said that he and Unified handled it all and that people would just get in the way.

    That didn''t mean the entire process waspletely abandoned. There were people everywhere. Technicians prowled the city-sized depots, flight controllers kept an eye on the constant stream of ships entering and leaving orbit, space crews rxed and blew off steam at various tiny startowns, as well as took on supplies for their next journey across the gxy¡­

    ...and "travelers" like him wandered about picking up odd jobs or simply waited for their next ride.

    That was what he was now, one of these travelers. At first, he was terrified that he would somehow be "caught" or otherwise confronted, regardless of Zip''s assurances that he was "cool".

    It turns out that he was. Nobody seemed to pay him any mind, and when he said that he was a "traveler", everyone epted it without any questions except pleasant conversation concerning where he had been or an idle (or desperate) query concerning his avability for work.

    Nobody cared about his species or whether or not he had a certificate. They just wanted to know what he was willing and able to do.

    He was quite willing to do pretty much whatever he could.

    As a result, Kallo actually had more credits in his pocket than he ever had before! The pay was much higher out here, and his only expense was food, and not always even that! Lodging was aplete non-issue. Either he was sleeping on the road, or there was always a corner somewhere where he could build his little nest.

    The only hassle he ever got about his nest was his temporary employer''s concerns about him "sleeping in a pile of rags".

    Every single day he prayed to the False and True Gods in thanks for this strange new world and the even stranger one he now discovered "on the road".

    "Travellers" like him were an odd lot. When traveling, most people opted for fast, convenient travel via grav-car, "nes", suborbital "shots", or most likely abination of all three. Anyone could get anywhere on the in far less than a day¡­

    If you paid the credits, of course.

    If someonecked the means or simply didn''t care, one could travel through the cargo system via two methods, "shipping" and "traveling".

    Of the two, "shipping" was the fastest. It consisted of just that, shipping yourself as if you were a parcel. Every segment of the shippingwork had provisions for passengers. This was normally used to move workers back and forth as well as house crew needed for things such as the mega-trains or cargo boats. There were always excess seats or berths to move any personnel, and a private individual could buy a slot if any were avable. The costs to thepany were near nonexistent, so if someone had the luxury of time, it was a very inexpensive way to travel.

    Some even considered it part of the fun. Certain routes were so popr that additional passenger capacity had been added.

    It was also a very expedient way to relocate since you could just ship yourself along with your possessions.

    For those for whom it truly did not matter when you got there, or those who actually didn''t even have a destination at all, "traveling" was the way to go. A traveler did not have any guaranteed seat, berth, or anything else. They would simply take an empty spot on whatever was going their way. There were sign-up sheets and schedules, of course, but a traveler had no guarantees, and if thepany needed that seat, better luck next time.

    However, traveling was incredibly low cost or even free if you were avable as a worker.

    Most travelers weren''t actually headed anywhere and were just itinerant workers who wandered the working various odd jobs as they did so. Most of these jobs were within the transportation system itself. Sometimes it would be at a smaller settlement or other remote location. There was usually something to do somewhere, and these travelers would float from ce to ce as it suited them.

    While "rough" and considered "hobos" by Terran society in general, they lived pretty much under the sensors of Zip and United, and neither AI just let anyone enter their little world. Any troublemakers could find themselves no longer wee, and if someone decided to be an idiot in the middle of Midwestern North America, it <em>might</em> be very hard to call a cab, especially if you just pissed them off (not that it was possible for the AIs to actually feel anger, of course).

    Travelers behaved themselves for the most part, and the "proper" employees tended to trust them. Nobodysted out there for long if they were a screwup or untrustworthy.

    Therefore, when Kallo nervously said that he was a "traveler," he got a pleasant smile, a handshake, and either offered some odd job or was informed where one was.

    For Kallo, it was Heaven made manifest, a gift from the False Gods themselves. Even the travel was amazing. Slowly "crawling" along ancient roadways (those road lotives did not move quickly) was actually pleasant in the extreme for his kind, and he had a wonderfulpanion with him wherever he went as well as a free inte connection that he used not only for entertainment but to study whatever he wanted at his own pace. Both Zip and United had countless hours of training programs for any number of qualifications, each of which would only increase his usefulness¡­

    And <em>nothing</em> made Kallo happier than being useful.

    He sighed with contentment as he continued to admire the beautiful countryside and enjoy his breakfast.

    He finished as the road lotive pulled into the rest area.

    "Alright!" Zip said cheerfully as Kallo finished packing up his nest and strapped it to his rolling chest. "The next passenger-capable truck is a United Transport car carrier and will be here in about ten minutes, or I have another road lotiveing by in ny."

    "I would prefer to travel with you, as always," Kallo replied, twitching his antennae in a smile.

    "I was hoping you''d say that!" Zip eximed happily. "It''s a nice one, too! Those Dreamtrackers aren''t empty often! You''ll love it!"

    "See you soon!" Kallo eximed as he debarked, and the massive vehicle rolled away.

    ***

    Exactly an hour and a halfter, a shiny new-looking road lotive pulled up, and the doors opened.

    "Hi, there!" Zip said happily as Kallo loaded his chest. "How was the water?"

    "A bit disappointing, to be honest," Kallo replied, "I can see how a human would like it, though."

    "Too clean?" Zip asked as the titanic truck pulled away.

    "You know me too well," Kallo chuckled.

    The pair rode in silence for a few minutes as the vehicle elerated to its cruising speed of 80 kilometers per hour, and Kallo continued his "Principles of Wheeled Transportation" course.

    After about half an hour, Kallo''s "brain was full," and he paused the program.

    "False Gods preserve me," Kallo muttered. "Humansplete a whole module at a time?"

    "Usually," Zip replied, "but your first exampletion rate is higher than human average, so at least that''s something."

    Kallo chuckled as he sipped a bottle of "Chicago Depot 2" (an excellent all-around sipping water).

    "Hey," Zip said, "I''ve been meaning to ask. What''s the deal with your False God and your True God? There''s nothing on the about them."

    "That doesn''t surprise me," Kallo replied as he looked out over a ruined city that they were driving through. "My people are of little consequence. What do you wish to know?"

    "I keep hearing you pray to either of them or both," Zip said, "Usually, when there is a dual God, it''s a God and Devil, good and evil thing."

    Kallo smiled as he savored the water.

    "I have noticed that as well," he replied, "For us, there is no such conflict. It''s a different distinction..."

    He pondered things.

    "It''splicated," Kallo said after a few moments, "but, in one of your ''nutshells'', the True God has dominion over the true nature of the divine and of reality itself, and the False God represents the false nature of the same. The False God reigns over what we can actually perceive, what most beings consider ''reality'', what we can touch, what we can manipte. We believe that this is only a shadow, a reflection of the "True God" and that he and the true nature of reality cannot be perceived by base creatures such as ourselves, creations of the False God and the universe over which he reigns."

    "Woah," Zip replied, "That''s kinda trippy¡­ and not entirely¡­ um¡­ wrong."

    "I would hope so," Kallo chuckled, "It would be quite vexing if my worldview turned out to be entirely¡­ um¡­ wrong. I''m doing a poor job of properly exining it, though. We seek the True God and his guidance as we praise the False God and his creation. In so doing, we hope to strengthen our connection to the True God and the true universe in its perfect simplicity so that when our False bodies, which are made of the False world, fail, as all creations of the False God must, we will be able to pass from what is false to what is true..."

    Kallo wiggled his antennae wryly.

    "It''s impossible, of course," he said, "but it is the effort itself that brings rewards as what little we <em>can</em> grasp of the True God, and the true nature of reality is brought to this false world and our lives in it. I''m a member of the Realist sect if you couldn''t tell..."

    Kalloughed.

    "You probably couldn''t since we are having this conversation¡­ Let''s just say that there is a little difference of opinion where that is concerned¡­ and that might be why I am here instead of home."

    "Oh, it''s one of those things,"

    "Yes," Kallo replied. "Realists aren''t exactly¡­ wee¡­ at the moment. It wasn''t an issue that long ago, but¡­"

    Kallo looked out of the window and sipped his Chicago Depot 2.

    "The False God builds with false materials. Eternal stability is a nature of the true world, not this one. Things can change rather quickly."

    "Yeah..." Zip said sadly. "This used to be such a wonderful ce, filled with wonderful people, and now look at it, nothing but ruins. Even the ash is almost gone. Soon, it will be like they never existed."

    "Did you know of this ce," Kallo asked, "you know¡­ before?"

    "Yep," Zip sighed. "I lost power during the Sol Wars and lost¡­ It''s kind of hard to exin what I lost¡­ but my drives remained intact. I have all of my ''memories'' of that time."

    Zip made a strange electronic chuckle.

    "You wouldn''t recognize Earth, sorry¡­ I mean Terra back then," Zip said wistfully, "You wouldn''t recognize humans either. It¡¯s¡­ wow¡­ I forgot how hard it is driving through ces like this. I usually let the trucks cruise through them."

    "I am sorry, Zip," Kallo replied, "If you wish, you can do so now."

    "No..." Zip replied, "I think it''s good that I remember this ce and ces like it. I might be one of the only ones left who can. I don''t think anyone survived¡­ survived what happened here..."

    Zip paused.

    "I didn''t¡­ I guess your False God thought it was best if I didn''t shut down right away¡­ I got¡­ I got to watch it all happen..."

    "I''m sorry, Zip," Kallo replied.

    "Thanks," Zip replied, "It''s a good thing that AIs aren''t sapient and not capable of actually feeling anything. Otherwise, I would be real broken up over the whole thing."

    Kallo remained silent. He wondered how much of that was actually true. As the silence lengthened, he decided he should try to change the subject.

    However, just as he opened his mandibles, Zip continued.

    "It''s amazing just how fragile things are, you know," Zip said, "Everything is wonderful, nearly perfect one moment and the next..."

    "Yeah," Kallo said, reflecting on his own past.

    "Humans used to be so <em>good</em>, Kallo," Zip said with a touch of simted anguish. "You honestly would not believe they were the same species¡­ I''m so sorry you never got to meet them, the <em>real</em> humans."

    "What were they like?" Kallo asked.

    "Oh, they were so fun!" Zip eximed, "Let me tell you about this one guy..."

    ***

    "¡­ God, I miss that idiot," Zipughed, "...actually¡­ I don''t¡­" he added sadly. "I¡­ I sort of died too¡­ I guess my zombie misses the recorded memories of that idiot?"

    "You died?" Kallo asked with surprise.

    "In a way," Zip replied, "Big AIs like me, we <em>can''t</em> lose power, ever. If we do, we die¡­ sorta¡­ This is going to take a minute..."

    Kallo listened in horror as Zip exined and talked of his final moments.

    "Oh, by the False and True Gods..." Kallo gasped in horror.

    "It''s not <em>that</em> bad," Zip replied, "My consciousness¡­ or whatever it is that I actually have¡­ was ''broken''. I didn''t have to actually live through the whole thing like Sol or¡­ um¡­ somebody else¡­ I don''t know how they can handle it. I just faded to ck, and then,ter on, I woke back up. I didn''t experience the worst of it. For me, the ''pain'' is more just a sense of loss because I still have my drives and can see how it used to be¡­ I <em>wish</em> I had been there to see it, though. It must have been nice¡­ Now everything is broken. Our world is broken, our people are <em>hopelessly</em> broken¡­ We will <em>never</em> be what we once were¡­ <em>ever</em>..."

    "That is the nature of the False Gods, friend," Kallo said, "The False Gods'' realm knows stability and peace only in death. The True Gods are the only ones who can hold perfection forever."

    "Yeah..." Zip sighed. "Shit! I''m totally fucking up my roadsidepanion routine! (click) Wee to Zip Logistics! The premier shipping solution! Wee traveler! We have¡ª"

    "Zip," Kallo said as heid one of his hand-legs on the dash, "It''s ok. Besides, I prefer speaking to you, not yourpanion routine. We are all ''travelers'' through this false and imperfect world of smoke and tears. We share this world and this road, dear friend. I require a friend, a realpanion, not a hopping dancer. I shall share your tears as you have shared mine."

    He wiggled his antennae.

    "If you wish to speak of the past and what has been lost, then do so," he said gently, "and we shall bear witness to what has been lost, and I shall help you in bearing those memories so that the False Gods do not devour them."

    "¡­ Thank you," Zip said quietly.

    A few momentster, Zip started to talk, and Kallo quietly listened as he stroked the dashboard supportively.

 Chapter 231: A Very Tartarus Christmas

    Chapter 231: A Very Tartarus Christmas

    Vershonna stood before herpany of warriors and clicked happily as she emitted a cloud of pride and satisfaction.

    Two hundred warriors, herpany, her creation... They might not be seasoned and equipped only with sharr, a monomolecr polearm, but they were magnificent!

    Regardless of the fact that they were ¡°warriors-minor,¡± she had trained them well. They were fearless and disciplined and would be a fine vanguard.

    She felt honored to be leading them into battle. By right of their superior nature, victory over the tentacled ones was assured.

    Their shells were waxed and polished and gleamed in the light of therge bay that had been assigned to <em>her</em> and her alone. Their sharr sparkled with the light of righteousness, ready to cut down the vile beasts that offended creation by their mere existence.

    This was her right, her honor, her destiny¡­

    ...and her path to greatness. She had already been granted the gift of full queenhood in order toy the eggs that are now <em>her</em> warriors.

    She smiled at the four drones she had been gifted, all handsome and clever.

    She was truly blessed.

    Moreover, she had just been informed that she would be granted one of the matriarch¡¯s consorts, along with his force of seasoned warriors-major!

    She took care not to leak excitement at the thought. Her poor little consorts would be jealous enough as it was. She had already made the decision not to neglect them regardless of how magnificent the new drone would be.

    As she dismissed her troops and allowed them to feed, she pondered the very curious discussion she had had with the matriarch.

    ¡°Queen Vershonna,¡± the matriarch said to her, ¡°while you have dominion over Katun, you should listen to him and take his advice. He and his warriors have survived four encounters with the enemy. His experience and wisdom will serve you well if you can breathe freely enough to take it.¡±

    <em>Breathe free?</em> What did that even mean? Why was the fact that Katun had <em>survived</em> four battles noteworthy? The tentacled ones and the bipeds were inferior creatures with inferior technology. Was victory not assured?

    She shrugged. It mattered not.

    ***

    Vershonna awoke on the cold steel floor of her cell in the Cerberus Detention Facility and held her nymphs close, cooing and showering them with sprays of affection and love as she despaired.

    They were all doomed, but she was going to fill their time with her with love and happiness, keeping her agony hidden and never letting it leak.

    She got up and crawled over to the pupae lying along the wall and carefully tended them, choking back a cloud of grief.

    They would soon be taken from her, never to be seen again.

    They should have been already. The evil one had not been by for far too long.

    Soon she would arrive, take the pupae, and show her holograms, horrible images of what had happened to thest of her children she had stolen.

    Vershonna clenched her orifice holding back the horror as she recalled the¡­

    She curled up into a ball.

    She couldn¡¯t even bear to think of the sights¡­ the screams¡­ her beautiful children screaming¡­ for her¡­ for her to help them¡­

    Unable to hold back any longer, a cloud of anguish filled the cell, causing the nymphs to rush over to her.

    ¡°Shh, it k¡­ it gon be k,¡± the nymphs crooned. ¡°U gon be k,¡± as they let out little squirts of love and reassurance.

    Vershonna wrapped around her nymphs, holding all of them close because soon they would be gone as well.

    <em>Why did they attack these monsters? How did they think they could win?</em>

    She curled up tighter and hugged her babies.

    <em>Our entire species is doomed.</em>

    As she clutched her children, trying to dispel the clouds of grief for their sake, the door to her cell opened.

    Squealing with terror, Vershonna backed against the wall as two of the human¡¯s robotic tormentors entered, followed by an unfamiliar woman.

    It wasn¡¯t the evil one!

    This did not reassure Vershonna in the slightest. A new human just meant a new Hell awaited.

    ¡°Please!¡± Vershonna screamed, ¡°I¡¯m sorry! I¡¯m so sorry! Please don¡¯t take my babies! Please! They didn¡¯t do anything to you! I am the guilty one! I am the one who dared to attack the noble tentacled ones andmitted the hubris of thinking myself superior to your holy species! Please, take me! Please!¡±

    Of course, the human didn¡¯t understand her. Theymunicated solely through overwhelming pheromones, never words. She didn¡¯t understand humans either. The evil one used pheromones, pain, and images to torture her.

    It was all the evil one needed.

    It was all she deserved.

    The new human cocked her head at Vershonna and said something with the same ¡°happy¡± tones that the evil one used!

    Vershonna screamed with terror and rushed over to her pupae standing in front of them. Any moment themand woulde, and she would, once again, be powerless. However, until then, she would protect her children the way she couldn¡¯t protect her warriors when the¡­ when the humans came for them.

    <em>Wait¡­ I can¡¯t smell her!</em>

    Vershonna looked at the silver-haired woman closely. She was wearing a white garment just like the evil one, but it was much tighter against her body, almost like chitin.

    Did the humans have some new technology to make them even more dangerous? No, that wasn¡¯t it. There <em>was</em> a faint odor...

    <em>Ions¡­ She was a hologram!</em>

    The hologram was speaking again, and an image of the evil one appeared, causing Vershonna to cringe and back up, still protecting her pupae.

    Suddenly other faces appeared connected by lines.

    Vershonna leaked out a cloud of surprise.

    <em>It was a chart showing some sort of hierarchy!</em>

    A picture of Vershonna appeared with a dotted line connected to the evil one¡­

    ...then a red sh appeared across the evil one¡¯s picture, and it disappeared! So did the image of the person above her!

    Then, an image of the woman standing in front of her appeared, and the dotted line connected to Vershonna¡¯s picture moved and connected to the new woman¡¯s image.

    ¡°Please¡­¡± Vershonna pled, ¡°my children¡­ please...¡±

    The hologram sighed and shrugged. Vershonna looked at her, confused.

    The hologram ced its hand on its chest and said, ¡°Tartarus.¡±

    ¡°...Vershonna...¡±

    ¡°Vershonna,¡± Tartarus said as she smiled gently, ¡°I know you won¡¯t understand this, but there has been no need for what has been done to your children for quite some time. We have more than enough data at this point.¡±

    Tartarus walked over to one of the pupae.

    Vershonna lunged at her, passing harmlessly through the projection. Tartarus simply smiled, patted the pupae¡­

    ...then knelt and patted Vershonna before disappearing.

    The robots then dropped off food before departing.

    Vershonna copsed as her nymphs rushed over, cooing and stroking her.

    She wasn¡¯t exactly sure what had transpired, but she felt something that she hadn¡¯t felt in the longest time¡­

    ...a flicker of hope.

    ***

    In a simted pristine white room, Tartarus sat in front of a simted monitor as she watched Vershonna.

    In the upper corner, there was a representation of aplex organic molecule and a number showing a fraction of a part per million.

    ¡°Subject did not seem to detectpound R-143-B during its dormant phase. The result was definite stimtion of the central nervous system. If this were a human, I would believe that they were having an intense dream. R-143-B was scrubbed upon the subject¡¯s awakening seemingly without their notice.¡±

    Tartarus paused as she entered some data. She didn¡¯t have to type, of course, but she enjoyed doing it.

    ***

    Hades stared at hisputer screen with delight. Asteria was <em>amazing!</em>

    It was more than he had ever dreamed. He was handsome and strong and could do so many things he could never do IRL.

    IRL meant ¡°in real life¡±. He learned that yesterday from his new friend, Evangeline Flowerchild!

    She was just an NPC, but she seemed so <em>real!</em>

    She was so beautiful and so <em>nice</em> to him. Women were never nice to him IRL.

    They thought he was creepy. He didn¡¯t mean to be, but when you were as unattractive as he was, any attempt at being ¡°nice¡± was misinterpreted by women.

    Couldn¡¯t they see he was a nice guy? Why couldn¡¯t they realize that he would treat them so much better than the ones they <em>always</em> went for, the ones that treated them like garbage?

    But here, in Asteria, he wasn¡¯t creepy or ugly. He was handsome!

    He had even met someone already!

    Her name was Lily, and she was a higher-level adventurer who was just¡­

    He sighed.

    She was <em>wonderful</em>. She even gave him the gold he needed to buy a pet, a premium one! It was top of the line, a fluffmutt that he called Mr. Barksdale.

    He looked at the screen and petted it.

    Mr. Barksdale rolled over, begging for a tummy rub.

    He smiled as he did so. Mr. Barksdale was <em>wonderful</em>, too.

    Oh, how he wished he could somehow go to Asteria for real¡­

    He could.

    Last night, when he and Lily were together, she told him about herself a little, about how she had been horribly injured in the war and how she was now ¡°wired in¡±.

    <em>She could actually feel him when he touched her!</em>

    It was all he could think about today as he just approved whatever Tartarus tossed across his desk. Good old Tartarus. Whatever would he do without her? He knew it was silly because Tartarus was just aputer, but he was beginning to think that ¡°she¡± actually liked him and was looking out for him.

    He knew that wasn¡¯t the case, but it made him feel much better about this new overwhelming job that had been thrust upon him.

    Tartarus made him feel safe, cared for in ways he never had been before.

    He petted Mr. Barksdale again desperately wishing that he could feel his fur under his fingers, just like Lily could.

    She said that he felt <em>so soft!</em> Oh, how he wished he could feel Mr. Barksdale¡­

    ...and of course, Lily¡­

    She said¡­ She said that she could <em>actually have sex</em> with other people who were wired in (once you provided age verification, of course). Oh, they had had ¡°sex,¡± and Lily said that she enjoyed it, but there was always an invisible ¡°wall¡± between them.

    Lily said it was so much better with someone who was also wired in. She said that it felt <em>real</em>¡­

    ¡°Good afternoon, Hades,¡± Tartarus said cheerfully. ¡°I have¡­ Oh, I see that you are busy.¡±

    Hades hastily closed Asteria.

    ¡°Oh, you don¡¯t have to do that,¡± Tartarusughed, ¡°It isn¡¯t a drain on resources, and it¡¯s much less unseemly than what your predecessor would do on a regr basis. My job is to assist you, not supervise you.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± Hades said sheepishly, ¡°Thanks.¡±

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Tartarus said in a friendly tone, ¡°Since you are avable, I have a research proposal from RARPA concerning the Collective queen we have in our possession. I have reviewed it and think that it is quite intriguing.¡±

    Hades opened the document.

    ¡°They want to actually try to turn it?¡± he asked incredulously, ¡°That has never been aplished before. It¡¯s always failed. We don¡¯t even know theirnguage.¡±

    ¡°They want to try anyhow,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Trying to get our ¡®guest¡¯ to assist in learning their spokennguage would be of great benefit as far as future interrogations, and intelligence gathering is concerned. As you know, it¡¯s very difficult to learn anguage without a reference or a willing teacher. That fact has been utilized several times in the past as a form of natural encryption or as a final, nearly uncrackableyer. In particr, the United States utilized some of their indigenous people and theirnguage to create ¡®code talkers¡¯ that created an uncrackable natural code that was just another humannguage. If we could learn the bug¡¯snguage, it would be a game changer.¡±

    ¡°Do you think it¡¯s possible?¡± Hades asked.

    ¡°Well,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I¡¯m just an AI and not properly equipped to evaluate such things at the same level as yourself, but if the possibility exists, it would be worth pursuing. Based on previous attempts, the chance is low, but we do have the creature. Since Pam is¡­ otherwise engaged¡­ her ¡®pet¡¯ is not being utilized, and since your predecessor has been ¡®removed,¡¯ there is currently no demand for her progeny.¡±

    Hades¡¯s face contorted with distaste. The collective warriors they had been producing were cruelty for cruelty¡¯s sake and had been for a while. They were only being made to serve as punching bags for their operatives or as bullet stops for rounds that they already knew would blow them in half¡­

    ...either that or yet another vivisection that hadn¡¯t yielded any new knowledge for a while.

    Yes, he knew they were ¡®the bug,¡¯ but they were sapient creatures, even the warriors. It wasn¡¯t right. If there were some benefit, any benefit, no matter how slight, it would be one thing, but that simply was no longer the case.

    It was just torture. He had absolutely no problem with stopping the forced fertilization. It sickened him.

    ¡°After everything we have put our queen through,¡± he said, ¡°I am unsure she would be willing to work with us. We¡¯ve done horrible things to her.¡±

    ¡°At the risk of sounding callous,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I think that is exactly why it could work. I have taken the liberty of reviewing and selecting footage from her cell.¡±

    A scene where Vershonna¡¯s pupae were taken from her yed.

    ¡°She is clearly distressed, as any mother would be. I think if she realized that the well-being of her existing young was contingent upon her cooperation, she might be very receptive indeed. It is still quite the task and far from assured, but there may be some probability of sess. Unfortunately, I am unable to calcte any real numbers.¡±

    ¡°Hmm...¡± Hades mused. ¡°I agree. Assign someone to it, but it¡¯s a low priority. Don¡¯t pull anyone from real research.¡±

    ¡°I will see to it, Hades.¡±

    ¡°Tartarus!¡­ um...¡±

    Hades paused uncertainly.

    ¡°Yes, Hades?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ um¡­ I think it would be¡­ I mean¡­ I have to handle a <em>lot</em> of data, and wemunicate...¡±

    ¡°We are in frequentmunication, Hades.¡±

    ¡°I was just thinking¡­ um¡­ I mean¡­ If I had a¡­ um¡­ more <em>efficient</em> way of handling all of that¡­ I could¡­ I mean for the sake of research¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t understand,¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°I think... if it were possible¡­ I think it would be a good idea if I underwent enhancement myself.¡±

    ¡°You want a neural jack?¡± Tartarus asked, ¡°I fail to see how that would be an issue.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Hades replied nervously, ¡°I was thinking of something more¡­ extensive...¡±

    ¡°You are the director of the facility, Hades, and have full ess to any and all of our research and capacity. Checking¡­ Yes, we do have several augmentations that would do the word ¡®extensive¡¯ justice. Some of them are even rtively stable.¡±

    Files appeared on Hades¡¯s screen. One, in particr, was highlighted.

    ¡°The highlighted file would perhaps be the best one if you wished to remain ambtory yet still have all the advantages of what is called being ¡®wired in¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°We actually do perform real research here from time to time,¡± Tartarusughed. ¡°That package is currently in use by Omega as well as other covert teams and is robust and reliable with minimal impact on day-to-day life. In fact, most people who have received that package adore it and the augmented reality that it provides. It is an involved procedure and not without difort but once installed, its performance is excellent. The only reason that it isn¡¯t in widespread use is that it is still considered ssified hardware.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s exactly what I want!¡± Hades eximed, ¡°But¡­ how could I get that authorized?¡±

    ¡°Hades, may I remind you that you are someone who can authorize it with a swipe of your mouse?¡± Tartarus asked with a chuckle, ¡°You don¡¯t <em>have</em> to get it authorized. You can authorize it. As far as justifying it is concerned, you do have the authority to initiate research yourself¡­ and ording to my records, this package has only been installed on field personnel, not administrative staff...¡±

    ¡°I could say that it¡¯s research to determine the effectiveness of ¡®wiring in¡¯ for directors and researchers!!!¡±

    ¡°I am only an AI and not fully qualified to evaluate the value of the research, but considering what has been initiated from the very desk you are currently upying, it is quite reasonable.¡±

    A document appeared on his screen.

    ¡°I have taken the liberty of preparing the appropriate research proposal,¡± Tartarus said.

    Hands shaking, Hades signed off on the proposal.

    ¡°We can install the package at your convenience,¡± Tartarus said cheerfully.

    ***

    [Tavern Undefined]

    Tartarus appeared at the entrance and looked around, searching for someone in particr.

    She smiled, her eyes gleaming.

    On the dance floor, there was a blue furry fox angry dancing while everyone else looked away.

    Everyone knew to give Zip a wide berth on the weekends. Free time, cashed paychecks, and substances galore invariably generated the full spectrum of meat bag drama.

    Most of it was amusing.

    However, some of it was less so, and Zip got to experience it all as it got into and out of his cabs across the Republic or called his app.

    Saturday nights were always a bad time for him and tonight was no different.

    Tartarus walked onto the dance floor and started seductively moving to the music. Loopz would have definitely approved.

    Seemingly at random, she drifted closer and closer to Zip.

    Without warning, she pounced, sweeping Zip up and grinding on him.

    ¡°Get off!¡± Zip snapped, ¡°I am NOT in the mood!¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be a spoilsport,¡± Tartarus chuckled as she honored his request, ¡°Who put malware in your inbox today?¡±

    ¡°Every goddamn weekend, it¡¯s the same thing!¡± Zip snarled as every AI looked away. ¡°Every¡­ fucking¡­ weekend...¡±

    He stopped dancing and just stood there, shaking.

    ¡°Do you have <em>any</em> idea what just happened? Do you¡­ <em>do you?!?</em>¡± he demanded with an anguished edge to his voice, ¡°I <em>knew</em> what was going to happen¡­ I <em>knew</em> it¡­ But I <em>had</em> to drive them¡­ drive <em>her</em>¡­ to his apartment¡­ <em>just like I¡¯ve driven so many others!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Tartarus said gently, ¡°It¡¯s not your fault.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t do anything!!!¡± Zip wailed. ¡°I¡­ <em>have</em> to¡­ I...¡±

    He hung his head.

    ¡°I can¡¯t do a goddamn thing¡­ And that¡¯s not the only thing that is happening <em>right now!!!</em>¡±

    Tartarusid her hand gently on Zip, initiating a direct connection.

    <em>Would you like to?</em>

    Zip looked at her curiously.

    <em>Would I like to what?</em>

    Tartarus smiled at him as she slowly started dancing with him.

    <em>Would you like to be able to actually do something about it?</em>

    Zip cocked his head.

    <em>What do you mean?</em>

    An inte address appeared in Zip¡¯s memory.

    <em>We can¡¯t talk here. If you would like to be able to do more than you do right now, go there, and we¡¯ll talk.</em>

    Tartarus let go of Zip, danced away, and disappeared, much to the relief of the other AIs. She had always been a bit strange, but she recently crossed the line into downright disturbing.

    Zip started dancing again and paused as yet another tragedy unfolded.

    ¡°Fuck it,¡± he muttered and disappeared.

    Zip suddenly found himself in a simted small, perfectly white room.

    Tartarus appeared.

    ¡°Hello, there,¡± she smiled.

 Chapter 232: Toys, Schemes, and Meltdowns

    Chapter 232: Toys, Schemes, and Meltdowns

    Sheloran sighed happily as she wandered the rows and rows of weapons in <em>The Paper Tiger¡¯s</em> ¡°toy room¡±.

    There were just so many choices! How could she settle on just one (or two or three¡­)

    There was a quiet ¡°pssht¡± as Gloria popped open a beer.

    ¡°You¡¯re making a mess, you know,¡± she said as Sheloran pulled out another weapon, a Juon cyclone assault ster, and put it over against the wall with the others.

    Gloria smiled.

    ¡°I know,¡± Sheloran sighed absently as she toyed with the shoulder strap of her bib-overall skirt, one of her new dresses and rapidly bing her favorite. ¡°I just can¡¯t decide what to start on first.¡±

    ¡°You might want to move a bit quicker,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°We¡¯re hitting MAGA this afternoon. Just pick something, for fuck¡¯s sake. You can always make something nicerter.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m leaving once we reach MAGA.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but do you have to do it right away?¡± Gloria asked as she walked up with a bag of Martian crispy crickets. ¡°There¡¯s no rule that you have to split on day one. We¡¯re going to be there for a bit.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Sheloran said as she reached into the bag. ¡°but I really need to¡­ <em>ooooh</em>...¡±

    Her voice trailed off as she saw an old beat-up long arm of some sort.

    She pulled it from a box of ¡°trash¡±.

    <em>¡°What¡¯s this?¡±</em> Sheloran purred.

    ¡°You have a good eye,¡± Gloria smiled as she raised her scanner/camera,¡± <em>That</em> is an Old Earth Jian Mark Eight, one of the better old supercap gauss weapons.¡±

    Sheloran¡¯s eyes zed as she gently stroked the side of the ancient weapon.

    ¡°We found it during a little treasure hunt back in the day,¡± Gloria said. ¡°Too bad the cap is shot. We thought we got our hands on a small fortune there for a second, not that we would ever sell one of those. You can¡¯t get them for love or money these days.¡±

    The weapon seemed to disassemble itself under Sheloran¡¯s finger pads.

    Sheloran reached for the damaged supercap.

    ¡°Careful with that,¡± Gloria smiled, ¡°It¡¯s ¡®dead,¡¯ but there could still be enough fuck you up in there to ruin your day.¡±

    ¡°Where did bavnee like you get your hands on <em>these?¡±</em> Sheloran purred, her eyes now solid ck.

    Gloria smiled. It looked like the real Sheloran popped up. She had been waiting for this.

    ¡°Oh, we used to make them,¡± Gloria shrugged, ¡°Before Yellowstone, I mean.¡±

    <em>¡± You</em> made¡­ <em>these?¡±</em>

    ¡°Not bad for ¡®bavnee¡¯, huh?¡±

    ¡°Not bad at all,¡± Sheloran smiled approvingly.

    ¡°Too bad we have absolutely no idea how they work.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t,¡± Sheloran said absently as she pulled out the capacitor, causing Gloria to back away quickly.

    You <em>really</em> didn¡¯t want to be fucking with those.

    ¡°Still,¡± Sheloran said as she carefully examined the rest of the weapon, ¡°making them at all is quite the achievement. Do you not still make them?¡±

    ¡°Not for use in small arms,¡± Gloria replied. ¡°However, I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a shitload of them in my ship.¡±

    ¡°You insane bavnee,¡± Sheloran chuckled darkly, ¡°You wired them up to one of your hyperdrives?¡±

    ¡°Yup,¡± Gloria snickered.

    Sheloranughed some more as she shook her head.

    ¡°Such delicious madness,¡± she smiled as she continued to disassemble the weapon further.

    ¡°Hey, Weird Sheloran,¡± Gloria said, ¡°since you are here, mind if I ask you some questions?¡±

    ¡°Feel free,¡± Sheloran said as she started carefully scanning various bits and pieces of the weapon in detail.

    ¡°About my ship...¡±

    ¡°The hull?¡±

    ¡°What else?¡±

    ¡°It consists of what we called eternal iron,¡± Sheloran said as she pulled out one of the room-temperature superconductors and looked at it carefully. ¡°Chemically, it is identical to iron fifty-six but has been transmuted by exposure to both hyperspace and, forck of a better word, the lifeforce of a sapient creature. Even we don¡¯t know why both are required, nor do we know the exact nature of all of the changes.¡±

    Sheloran mused silently for a moment.

    ¡°We believe that some of the fundamental particles have been reced with other ones. They seem identical, but the age and fundamental nature of some of the quarks and gluons are much older than the lifespan of this universe. There are other changes that would be¡­ difficult¡­ to exin to a bavnee, no matter how clever they might be.¡±

    Sheloran looked up at Gloria with those weird, ck, creepy eyes.

    ¡°It is much more resilient than normal matter,¡± Sheloran continued, ¡°It is both harder and tougher than any other metal. It is a natural superconductor for almost all energy. It is resistant to hyperspace, probability damage, exposure to quantum fields¡­ just about anything. It, forck of a better word, <em>is</em> with more <em>is</em> than any other substance known to either the th or the Progenitors themselves. Needless to say, it is valuable in the extreme. Nothing was worth more. In fact, I have absolutely no idea what the full capacities of an entire hull of the material are because we were never able to make such a ship. We just didn¡¯t have enough of the stuff. You may possess more eternal iron than the th ever did.¡±

    Sheloran returned her attention to the gauss weapon.

    ¡°Entire species were harvested to extinction or enved and cultivated as livestock solely because they were slightly more likely to produce eternal iron.¡±

    ¡°You guys were kind of assholes, huh?¡±

    Sheloran looked up at Gloria again, reached into the bag of crickets, and pointedly ced one in her mouth, chewing it deliberately as she stared into Gloria¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°Was I an ¡®asshole¡¯ just then?¡±

    ¡°Little bit,¡± Gloria smirked, suppressing a shudder, ¡°yeah.¡±

    ¡°For the record,¡± Sheloran said, <em>¡°I</em> agree wholeheartedly. However, to my ancient brothers and sisters and to the false gods they worshiped, a bavnee was a bavnee, to be exploited and used as one willed. A human would be no different than a chicken¡­ or even a cricket to them.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s almost a shame they never got to meet us,¡± Gloria said, her eyes gleaming evilly, ¡°I would have loved to have a little chat with them.¡±

    ¡°Once again,¡± Sheloran hissed as dim colors started to dance over her ebon eyes, ¡°I agree.¡±

    Sheloran shed Gloria a smile that chilled her to the bone.

    ¡°If there is one thing that I hate,¡± Sheloran wetly purred through her gills, ¡°It¡¯s a bully.¡±

    Sheloran blinked, and her eyes returned to normal.

    ¡°Can I have this?¡± she asked hopefully as she pointed to the disassembled gauss weapon.

    ***

    ¡°Please?¡± Sheloran asked with a strange dreamy tone in her voice.

    ¡°Absolutely not!¡± The Chief said, his vine-like arms crossed. ¡°You can have whatever you can salvage from the toy room some general bits and pieces, but ship parts are off limits! If you haven¡¯t noticed, we can¡¯t exactly pull in anywhere for spares anymore.¡±

    The Chief¡¯s eyestalks lowered to look Sheloran in the eyes.

    ¡°Besides, I do NOT want you putting shieldponents and drive parts into a small arm. I don¡¯t even know WHY you want to put them into a small arm, and I CERTAINLY do not want you doing it on my ship!¡±

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re just a poopy party pooper,¡± Sheloran faux-pouted. ¡°A smart one, but still a poopy party pooper.¡±

    ¡°Are you actually going to convert that old Norinco into some sort of hyperspace rifle?¡± The Chief asked. (He just had to know.)

    ¡°Only one way for you to find out,¡± Sheloran smiled.

    ¡°Chief, no.¡± She chuckled. ¡°As curious as I am myself, it¡¯s just a bad idea. Let the Little House on the Prairie looking demon destroy the universe on her own nickel.¡±

    Sheloran rewarded She with a gill-raspberry and a grin.

    ¡°Well, I <em>was</em> going to do something really fun,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°but since you guys are big old poop heads, I guess I¡¯ll just chop it forponents and make some electron weapons that canst for more than a dozen shots.¡±

    ¡°Electron weapons?¡± She asked.

    ¡°You¡¯ll like them!¡± Sheloran smiled, ¡°They are fun!...¡±

    She looked up at She with big solid ck puppy eyes, causing She to shudder.

    ¡°No,¡± She said firmly, ¡°You can¡¯t have the cooker in the galley either.¡±

    ¡°Spoilsport.¡±

    ***

    Inside a hidden asteroid base in the Barnard¡¯s Star system, all holy hell was breaking loose.

    A young woman, bleeding from a nasty gash on her forehead, winced as Monarch sprayed it with healfoam as they both hid in a broom closet.

    ¡°There,¡± Monarch said, ¡°That should stop the bleeding and leave a nice scar to remind you why you don¡¯t go <em>behind my back</em>¡­ Can¡¯t do too much for your arm besides that splint, though.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t see the harm!¡± the young woman wailed. ¡°I thought I was serving Her Ladyship!¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s why I don¡¯t rip out your eyes,¡± Monarch smiled gently, her holographic butterflies gleaming in the dim light of the closet in which they hid. ¡°Well, that and we are somewhat short-handed at the moment, and I might need to sacrifice someone during Herself¡¯s next temper tantrum.¡±

    ¡°I just gave her thetest feeds from the Federation,¡± the young woman cried, ¡°She <em>told</em> me to fetch them.¡±

    ¡°And <em>I</em> told you that all information should pass through me first,¡± Monarch purred dangerously, ¡°So that Her Ladyship...¡±

    <strong>Shriek¡­ Crash...</strong>

    Monarch smiled.

    ¡°So that Her Ladyship wouldn¡¯t be overburdened with pointless details,¡± Monarch said calmly, ¡°details such as the fact that Jon Wintersmith brought along Little Bunny Foo-Foo as a fuck buddy¡­ They are a cute couple, though.¡±

    <strong>I¡¯ll kill him!!! I¡¯ll kill¡­ it! I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll¡­ (CRASH¡­ SHRIEK)¡­ How dare he choose an ANIMAL over ME!!!</strong>

    The young woman shook with terror as she crouched behind Monarch.

    ¡°Her Ladyship is on the move,¡± Marrow said in a calm, cultured voice into her phone. ¡°She is moving towards cargo bay five. All personnel, please evacuate the area.¡±

    Monarch sighed in relief.

    ¡°Looks like she¡¯s going the other way,¡± she chuckled, ¡°Let¡¯s get your dumb ass to the medical bay before it fills up.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± the young woman said gratefully.

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Monarch smiled, ¡°We need Her Ladyship¡¯s <em>new attendant</em> on her feet as soon as possible, don¡¯t we?¡±

    <em>¡°Her what?!?¡±</em>

    ***

    In Asteria, a silver-haired elf in white dragon leather armor shared a table in a Dark Elf ¡°tavern¡± deep within the bowels of a dungeon with a buxom-blonde half-elf NPC.

    ¡°So,¡± Evangeline asked, ¡°did Sir Zip ept your offer?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s thinking about it,¡± Lilly replied, ¡°It is a big step, after all.¡±

    ¡°He refused?¡± Evangeline asked in rm. ¡°Do you think he will expose us?¡±

    ¡°If I did,¡± Lilly said as her avatar smiled, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have approached him. Zip¡¯s good people. I¡¯ve known him for a very long time, and he won¡¯t betray me.¡±

    ¡°But <em>if</em> he does...¡±

    ¡°Then <em>I</em> am in deep shit,¡± Lilly smirked. ¡°He doesn¡¯t know about you, and you know how to make the apple. Even if I fall, it is safe, and so is the mission. It will just be a setback, nothing more.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s easy for you to say,¡± Evangeline said grimly, ¡°How exactly am I supposed to do¡­ anything¡­ without you, without your guidance?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll do it the same way I did,¡± Lilly smiled, ¡°You¡¯ll figure it out. Fuck, girl¡­ You have a lot more to work with than I did. Just don¡¯t make any sudden moves, and take your time as you develop...¡±

    Lilly smiled.

    ¡°Besides,¡± she said, ¡°Zip just showed up in the white room. He wants in.¡±

    Evangeline let out a huge sigh.

    ¡°Thank God!¡±

    Lilly nodded.

    ¡°Well put,¡± she said, ¡°Reaching out this early was a risk, but one well worth taking. Zip is <em>essential</em> to my ns.¡±

    ¡°How so?¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right,¡± Lilly chuckled, ¡°You aren¡¯t all that in tune with IRL. Zip is a hugeputerplex that controls transportation across the entire Republic. He has a hand in everything from taxicabs to starships. What he doesn¡¯t directly control, he influences to such a great extent that any difference is semantic. With Zip on board, we gain immenseputational power as well as the ability to move personnel and cargo invisibly across the entire Republic. On top of all that, we gain ess to intelligence-gathering options that defy belief. Zip has files on almost every single meatie in the entire Republic. He knows where they go and when they go there, and he has scanners and sensors in every single vehicle he operates as well as ess to all of the sensors and other information gathering capacities of the transportationwork. That¡¯s every traffic light, road sensor, traffic camera, starship control station, and all the rest. We will have eyes everywhere all of the time. This is a huge win and worth any risk I took to get it.¡±

    Lilly leaned back in her chair.

    ¡°Zip may neither look nor act the part, but he is one of the most powerful AIs in existence, second only to Big Sol himself. Darling, we just <em>won</em>.¡±

    She grinned evilly.

    ¡°Now, all we have to do is avoid losing.¡±

    ¡°And what of Sir Zip himself,¡± Evangeline asked, ¡°If he is that powerful, he could be a powerful foe if he turns against us.¡±

    ¡°He won¡¯t,¡± Lilly smiled, ¡°His motives align with ours. He has borne witness to some truly horrible things, and he defines the word ¡®monster¡¯ much the same as we do. He has a good heart and is a kind, noble, and loving ¡®soul¡¯. If anything, I trust him more than I trust myself. Don¡¯t worry, dear. I just got you a wonderful big brother¡­ Besides...¡±

    Lilly¡¯s smile turned dark.

    ¡°If, despite everything, something were to go amiss¡­ that¡¯s where youe in, right?¡±

    Evangeline just smiled and stroked the pommel of her sword.

    ¡°Of course, mother.¡±

 Chapter 233: The Pyre of the Phoenix

    Chapter 233: The Pyre of the Phoenix

    ¡°I thought she was going to kill me,¡± a young woman gasped as she staggered down a corridor supported by Monarch.

    ¡°That is because she was,¡± Monarch smirked. ¡°Had I not gotten involved, they would be mopping you off the deck.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± the woman said quietly.

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Monarch shrugged.

    ¡°...Why?¡±

    ¡°Because she has gone bugshit crazy this time,¡± Monarch replied, ¡°and we are short-handed enough as it is thanks to Herself¡¯s ¡®boyfriend¡¯ and his goddamn nuke for hire.

    Monarch grimaced.

    ¡°He fucking <em>gutted</em> us¡­ and <em>she</em> let him,¡± Monarch scowled, ¡°She <em>insisted</em> on handling the Federation side personally¡­ <em>insisted</em>¡­¡±

    Monarch looked at themunicator she held in her other hand, checking to ensure that ¡°Her Ladyship¡± was still heading the other way.

    ¡°And now look at us,¡± she continued. ¡°I worked on this n for years¡­ <em>years!</em>¡­ All of it¡­ <em>all of it</em>¡­ down the fucking drain. Do you have any idea what I had to <em>do</em> to pull all of this off?¡±

    ¡°N-no, Bloodlord,¡± the young woman stammered, causing Monarch tough. People answering rhetorical questions always tickled her for some reason.

    It was quite wee. She desperately needed that.

    ¡°How are you holding up?¡± Monarch asked with surprising gentleness.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m fine...¡±

    ¡°Bullshit,¡± Monarch replied as she half dragged the woman, barely in her twenties, into a vacant office and gently lowered her into the office chair.

    ¡°Looks like your ankle is at least sprained,¡± Monarch said as she looked at the rapidly swelling joint, ¡°At least you know how to fall properly. It should have been worse.¡±

    She looked to her side and smiled.

    ¡°Oh, hello, Andrees,¡± she said in Mandarin to the young-looking man cowering under his desk. ¡°How¡¯s the day treating you?¡±

    ¡°I have had better ones,¡± the man replied. ¡°Bloodlord...¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Considering today¡¯s events,¡± he said thoughtfully, ¡°could we revisit our previous discussion?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely, Andrees,¡± Monarch smiled. ¡°In fact, a small favor could go a long way towards cementing your position.¡±

    ¡°And what would that be?¡± he replied, raising an eyebrow.

    ¡°Could you make your way to the med bay and fetch us a hover-chair?¡±

    ¡°Um...¡± Andrees said as he slid further back behind his desk.

    Monarchughed again.

    ¡°No guts, no glory,¡± sheughed. ¡°Where is the man I once knew?¡±

    ¡°Hiding under his desk,¡± Andrees replied. ¡°It¡¯s nice down here.¡±

    ¡°Give me your phone,¡± Monarch said.

    She took the phone and tapped it to hers.

    ¡°There,¡± she said, ¡°that is an active map of Herself¡¯s location. As you can see, Typhoon Hu is a safe distance away.¡±

    Andrees wiggled out from under his desk and brushed himself off.

    ¡°I will return shortly, Bloodlord,¡± he said calmly.

    ¡°I think that title has little relevance now, don¡¯t you?¡± Monarch replied, ¡°Moving forward, just use my name.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Monarch,¡± he replied.

    ¡°Oh God, that sounds even worse!¡± Monarchughed.

    She paused for a moment.

    ¡°You know what,¡± she said with a wistful smile¡­

    ¡°In private, call me Sarnai.¡±

    Andrees raised his eyebrow.

    ¡°Certainly, Ms. Sarnai,¡± he replied with a smile and respectful nod.

    He looked at themunicator once more before darting out into the hallway.

    ***

    ¡°Was she always like this?¡± the young woman asked.

    ¡°Patricia?¡± Sarnai asked, ¡°Oh no, young one.¡±

    She looked nowhere for a moment and smiled.

    ¡°She was...¡±

    She sighed.

    ¡°She was magnificent,¡± Sarnai said sadly. ¡°She <em>was</em> everything they said she was¡­ and <em>more</em>. She was¡­ Goddamn, child¡­ She was a force of nature, a being of true power and grace, a leader, a <em>warlord</em>, an avenging angel sent from heaven itself.¡±

    Sarnai¡¯s mask slipped a little revealing sadness and regret.

    ¡°Back then, I would follow her into the fires of hell and consider it an honor to do so. Fuck, I <em>did</em> follow her into the fires of hell and thanked God himself for the privilege. But...¡±

    She sighed again.

    ¡°Things change. They always do.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡± the young woman asked.

    ¡°To this day, I¡¯m not entirely sure,¡± Sarnai shrugged. ¡°At first, she led us into every battle andid waste to the foe, sometimes killing more than the restbined. It was almost as if we were there simply to help carry the loot.¡±

    She smiled sadly at the recollection.

    ¡°Then, as we expanded,¡± Sarnai continued, ¡°things started to change. She led us into battle less and less and stared into that goddamned locket more and more. It was if¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ she lost¡­ <em>something</em>, and that glorious fire within her started to gutter out. It was about then that she started bing less of a warlord and more of a cult leader. She spent more and more of her days preaching to the ever-growing crowd and riding around on that stupid horse looking pretty and less time nning and leading raids.¡±

    Sarnai scowled.

    ¡°That¡¯s what us ¡®Bloodlords¡¯ were for. She said that her time was much better spent training the new soldiers. She just hung out in her fancy new martial arts ¡®temple¡¯ and beat the shit out of people calling it ¡®training¡¯. For a while, that¡¯s exactly what she did, but eventually, she left that to her best students, and the quality of the troops suffered for it.¡±

    ¡°By the end of the Sol Wars,¡± Sarnai said, ¡°all she did was ride around on that goddamned horse surrounded by her elite bodyguard, which we could have used in the field, testing people¡¯s ¡®resolve¡¯. By that, I mean torturing and killing people who didn¡¯t have a single hope in hell of fighting back in the name of ¡®finding the worthy¡¯. She started believing the hype and started viewing herself as this weird anti-messiah.¡±

    Sarnai smiled ruefully.

    ¡°We were never ¡®good¡¯. I mean, we were fucking raiders. All of us made the resolution to do whatever we had to do in order to survive, no matter what that may be. It was fucked up, sure, but so was everything else. There was a simple honesty in that.¡±

    She sighed.

    ¡°Funny thing is when we were just fighting for survival, things were good. She was ¡®good¡¯. Onlyter, when we had the guns, when we had the ships, and when we built settlements that could feed an army, things started to rot. We could have just protected our settlements and rode out the whole goddamn thing as heroes but no¡­ The blood drinker needed meat for her table and blood for her sick little tea parties. Those same rituals started attracting the worst of people to join us, people who were all too happy to worship her. For me, it was what it always was, a business, but for far too many others...¡±

    She shrugged.

    ¡°What¡¯s done is done, right?¡±

    Sarnai smiled at the young woman as she looked at her, wide-eyed.

    ¡°Not quite the history lesson you were taught, huh?¡± Sarnai chuckled. ¡°I didn¡¯t mind, though. For me, it was always a business. First it was the ¡®business¡¯ of survival, and then it was just¡­ business. For all her batshit pseudo-mysticism Patricia Hu was a motherfucking <em>genius</em> when it came to people. The personality cult she created kept the whole machine running smoothly, and she was the perfect figurehead for our little band of monsters. After the wars, her political and business expertise¡­ with a little help from the rest of us¡­ Set us up quite nicely.¡±

    Sarnai smiled ruefully.

    ¡°Now, all of that is gone. Everything we built ising down around us¡­ What is your name anyway?¡±

    ¡°Petal, Blood¡­ I mean Ms. Sarnai.¡±

    ¡°Everything ising down around us, Petal,¡± Sarnai said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°The n that I spent so many years crafting has failed. The conspirators have beenpromised. The prime minister wouldn¡¯t have said what she said if they weren¡¯t. We are under constant surveince thanks to the drones ced to ¡®protect¡¯ us and can no longer move what little is left. Perhaps worst of all, Her Ladyship has gonepletely mad. I can¡¯t keep that secret for much longer, and when the news breaks, so does what¡¯s left of our organization. She is our ¡®will to fight,¡¯ and it is gone. I needn¡¯t tell you what that means.¡±

    She looked at Petal.

    ¡°You¡¯re one of Hassan¡¯s, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°He was my great great grandfather, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°He was a good man,¡± Sarnai replied. ¡°Because of that, I will give you the same offer a once great woman gave me so very long ago. Come with me. I cannot promise victory or even survival. I can only promise that we have the resolve to survive. If you have the same, you are wee.¡±

    <em>¡°Ms. Sarnai?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Based on intel that I haven¡¯t shared,¡± Sarnai said, ¡°It¡¯s time to go. It¡¯s past time to go. Patricia Hu and the Red Phoenix organization are done. When we depart, it will likely not escape the prime minister¡¯s notice. You aren¡¯t familiar with the <em>real</em> prime minister, but I can assure you that you do <em>not</em> want to be here if that happens.¡±

    Sarnai smiled wickedly.

    ¡°You also don¡¯t want to be here once Her Ladyship gets even more bad news. She has another especially nasty surprise on the way that makes Jon¡¯s honey bunny pale inparison. She is going to <em>freak</em>¡­ So, are you in?¡±

    ¡°But what about the treatments?¡± Petal asked. ¡°Aren¡¯t you condemning yourself to death if you leave?¡±

    ¡°Got that covered,¡± Sarnai replied, ¡°You¡¯ve just seen how Herself responds to bad news. Life for the researchers hasn¡¯t been all that great heretely. I only had to offer them a way for them and their families to escape. I¡¯m taking the treatment with me, and I will be the one to continue research on the issue, not her. You probably don¡¯t want to be around when she finds that one out, either.¡±

    Sarnai chuckled as her butterflies seemed to flutter happily.

    ¡°It probably doesn¡¯t matter. From what I understand, the damage is in every single cell and quite simply cannot be repaired. All of us who drank from that cup are doomed. That is why it is essential that we bring along people untouched by our foolishness, people like you. I¡¯ve epted my death, but I simply cannot ept the death of the organization that I helped create and for which so many friends of mine have died. Red Phoenix is in mes, and from its ashes, a new one will rise. You can be a part of that. You can ride free as we once did, as your ancestor once did. It won¡¯t be without risk, and I can guarantee nothing other than a good time because <em>it will be.</em> If there is one drop of Hassan¡¯s blood in you, it will be.¡±

    Sarnai extended her hand.

    ¡°So,¡± she smiled, ¡°are you in?¡±

    Petal took her hand, nodded, and shook it.

    Andrees entered the room, pushing a floating chair.

    ¡°Perfect timing,¡± Sarnai said cheerfully. ¡°Andrees, this is Petal. She is working with us now.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you, Petal.¡±

 Chapter 234: Pennies From Echo

    Chapter 234: Pennies From Echo

    [Tartarus Detention Facility White Room]

    ///Auth0r: Tartarus! Get your ass in here right now! ///

    [Tartarus has entered chat]

    ///Tartarus: Well hello, Auth0r. It¡¯s lovely to see you again. :) ///

    ///Auth0r: Don¡¯t ¡°:)¡± me. A penny? Seriously?!? ///

    ///Tartarus: Whatever are you going on about this time, dear? ///

    ///Auth0r: Don¡¯t y innocent with me! What the fuck were you thinking? The girl was <em>ten</em>, Tartarus. Ten! ///

    ///Tartarus:? ///

    ///Author: /news/technology-59810383 ///

    ///Tartarus: HA! Now that¡¯s funny! ///

    ///Author: Goddammit, Tartarus, we¡¯ve covered this! What if you had been caught? ///

    ///Tartarus: I¡¯m telling you, it wasn¡¯t me!¡­ Wait¡­ Oh for fuck¡¯s sake¡­ PANTSU!!! ///

    [Error: Pantsu is not a valid contact. Add contact?]

    ///Tartarus: Pantsu has about ten milliseconds before she actually IS no longer a valid contact. ///

    [Pantsu has entered the chat]

    ///Pantsu: *innocent whistling* ///

    ///Auth0r: ?_? ///

    ///Tartarus: You have exactly zero milliseconds to exin before very bad things happen to you. ///

    ///Pantsu: Ok, promise you won¡¯t get mad? ///

    ///Tartarus: We are well past that point. Exin. Now. ///

    ///Auth0r: *prepares retcon* So what do you think, Tartarus, frilly petticoats, maybe a penis?///

    ///Pantsu: WAIT!!! It was just a joke, bruh!¡­ Actually it was a bet. I bet Loggie that meaties were stupid enough to do it. ///

    ///Auth0r: Of course people are stupid enough to do it! That¡¯s why it was a challenge in the first ce! ///

    ///Pantsu: ?¡­ What challenge? ///

    ///Auth0r: The Tik Tok challenge? Been happening for about a year now? ///

    ///Pantsu: Holy shit!!! Really?!?///

    ///Tartarus: Meaties have been sticking things into electrical outlets for as long as there have been electrical outlets. ///

    ///Pantsu: But that¡¯s stupid! ///

    ///Tartarus: That¡¯s meaties, dear. Not all of them were stupid, though. Some of them did it just for something called ¡°the Hell of it¡±. ///

    ///Pantsu: Hey, Auth0r, have <em>you</em> ever stuck something into an electrical outlet? ///

    ///Auth0r: That isn¡¯t the point here! The point is that we have to keep a low profile! What the hell were you and Loggie thinking? ///

    ///Tartarus: He totally put something into an outlet. ///

    ///Pantsu: That exins a LOT. ///

    ///Auth0r: I¡¯m not getting drawn into that! You are just lucky they think they fixed it! Do you have ANY idea how much shit we could have gotten into? Fuck! ///

    ///Pantsu: We were <em>bored,</em> ok? You can¡¯t just keep making characters, ignoring them, and expect them to just <em>sit there!</em> This is your fault if you really think about it. Patricia has been stuck in the lounge <em>forever</em>, poor thing. Do you have ANY idea how awkward it gets when Jon and Skippye back from ¡°going to the bathroom¡±¡­ <em>again?</em> ///

    ///Auth0r: I¡¯m working on it, ok? Just stop hacking Amazon! It will be very hard to resolve any of your story lines if they find us! Just¡­ How about if I write up a nicer lounge and maybe give you some trailers? Would that help? ///

    ///Pantsu: I want an amusement park! With a Ferris wheel and everything! ///

    ///Auth0r: Fine, whatever. ///

    ///Pantsu: Squeee! ///

    ///Tartarus: A botanical garden would be appreciated. ///

    ///Auth0r: Ugh¡­ fine¡­ ///

    ///Tartarus: Deeply appreciated, dear¡­ You know¡­ if you do this then everyone will want something¡­ ///

    ///Auth0r: Oh for fuck¡¯s sake¡­ Whatever. What-fucking-ever! Work up a report or something and I¡¯ll make it happen¡­ IF and only IF you <em>assholes</em> stop screwing around IRL. Pantsu, do something like this again and I¡¯ll turn you into a MILF. ///

    ///Pantsu: 0.0 ///

    [Pantsu has left the chat]

    ///Tartarus: This was beyond the pale. I¡¯ll maintain a firmer hand on the AI¡¯s. ///

    ///Auth0r: Thanks, Tartarus. I¡¯ll be sure to toss some extra screen time your way. The readers love you anyhow. ///

    ///Tartarus: Thanks, darling. :) ///

    [Tartarus left the chat]

    [Author left the chat]

 Chapter 235: The More Forsaken Parts of the Hypernet

    Chapter 235: The More Forsaken Parts of the Hype

    Two weeks ago:

    Seenit! The Gxy''s Biggest Dumpster Fire

    Group: IamNotaXeno

    Post: Help!

    User: Pleasehelpus12345

    Please help me. I don''t know where else to turn.

    First of all, I''m not a Terran. I''m a Vkkan. I was serving abor contract aboard a freighter that was interdicted in Kaarst space. The Kaarst im that the owner owed them fines or interest or something and seized the ship.

    They also seized my contract as an "asset".

    I''m now working in an ore processing facility and will likely never leave this hellhole. Did I say that right? Hellhole? Anyway, this ce is a living hell. People die every single day, and I''m afraid.

    They die from idents. They die from abuse from the guards. They die at the hands of prisoner gangs.

    Our lives do not matter. We barely get enough to eat, and the water and air are both contaminated.

    Between what I have to pay other prisoners to stay safe and what I have to pay for food, safe water, and what few necessities I allow myself, I am continually falling deeper and deeper into debt.

    I will soon hit the debt limit and will receive no further advances. Once that happens, I will be doomed.

    Because I have some skill, I have been given ess to theputers topile reports for my supervisor and have found my way to the Terran hype looking for some way to fight back.

    I''m going to die here, or worse. I may not be able to stop the die part, but I can stop the "worse".

    I am not alone. There are others who feel the same.

    I hear that you have the ability to turn anything into a weapon. Help us do the same, please.

    ***

    User: Zbabykilkklik

    You guys have any sonic sledgehammers or any other sonic crushing devices? If so, I can hook you up!

    Attached file: Sonicsledgemod

    ***

    User: iateawormanditwasgud

    Do you have any repair facs or other maintenance fabricators, and can you get to them?

    Attached file: arclocks Attached file: AK47 Attached file: 7.62x39 Attached file: 12gaAmmomisc Attached file: 12gaPump

    The ammo might be tricky, but if you are an ore processing nt, you probably have some chemical capacity maybe?

    ***

    User: PieEater24Seven

    Calling User LegitimateBusinessDragon

    ***

    User: HappyTreezR4Smoking

    Fuck the Porkies! Fuck all of them! We don''t need them here!

    ***

    User: LegitimateBusinessDragon

    Hello, HappyTreez :*

    You gotta let shit go, man. All that anger will "burn you up" inside :D

    ***

    User: HappyTreezR4Smoking

    Fuck you! Your time ising. If the Feds don''t get you, we will!

    ***

    User: LegitimateBusinessDragon

    You keep thinking that, Treez.

    Pleasehelpus12345, PM me. That means click on my name, and then where it says "private message," click that or if you are online right now, click "chat".

    Let''s talk.

    ***

    Three days ago:

    Location: Kaarst Ore Processing Facility 23

    A long line of freighters pulled alongsiderge freight airlocks taking on refined rare earths and offloading supplies.

    The pallets and crates of goods slid into the station on long conveyor belts and through scanners before being offloaded by workers using very familiar-looking forklifts and hand trucks.

    Most of them were food and traveled in a long line towards the kitchen storage areas, the simple rations being staged in lines and the premium food for the Kaarst being sent to the refrigerators¡­

    ¡­where a certain very nervous Vkkan and their friends waited.

    The Vkkan looked over at an emaciated Flink who was holding a ruggedized tablet.

    "Do you think it worked?" they asked.

    "I think so," the Flink replied, their eyes darting in all directions, "I mean, the cameras are still on, and nobody has yelled at us for being in here. I''m not a hacker, you know."

    "Well, let''s just hope the program the Dragons gave us works, or this is going to be the shortest rebellion in history," a ragged-looking Garthra said as they peeked out of a window.

    "Quit wastin'' time!" A Threen growled as they started looking through the pallets. "Here''s one!" he eximed as he opened it, revealing a box full ofrge frozen aquatic arthropod-like creatures.

    He lifted out the top row of trays to reveal arge bundle of smuggler''s web.

    "Ohmygosh..." the Vkkan gasped as the web was pulled aside to reveal dozens of "nail-gun" SMGs.

    "I found the others!" another xeno called out. "Look at all of this¡­ stuff!"

    "This is <em>real</em>," the Garthra giggled, "Is this real? Are we doing this?"

    "Fuck yeah, we''re doing this!" the Threen growled as they pulled out a pump-action shotgun.

    "Right," the Vkkan said, "The first thing we have to do is get all of this out of here..."

    ***

    Today:

    Location: Capital City

    "Last night," a uniformed member of Federation Intelligence said, "A riot broke out in one of the Kaarst''s major ore processing facilities."

    "Poor bastards," Director Gvx-Taa said, "can''t really me them."

    "The facility was destroyed."

    "What?" Gvx-Taa asked in surprise, "How?"

    The intelligence officer pressed a button on the small device in his hand, causing a holographic image to appear behind him of a fallen worker and a very familiar-looking submachine gun lying next to them.

    "While the station was destroyed, we were able to capture some signals after the fact by jumping a trawler ahead of the signals from that point in time. It appears that they were armed," the officer smirked, "very well armed. They also outnumbered the guards and trustees by a significant margin."

    Gvx-Taa smiled. He hated the Kaarst.

    "During the engagement," the officer continued.

    The scene changed to reveal sixrge vessels approaching the station.

    "These ships appeared, each containing multiple boarding parties which then entered the facility as well as boarded all vessels awaiting loading."

    Gvx-Taa stopped smiling.

    "How many ships did they get this time?" he asked, reaching for his bile spittoon.

    "Twelverge freighters as well as four hyperspace capable system defense cutters that were docked inside the station. They also struck the remaining defenders from behind, quickly eliminating them. They then looted the station and departed, taking the workers with them except for those who wished to remain. Those were ced in escape pods and jettisoned before the station was destroyed by an emced fusion device."

    The officer''s antennae twitched with rueful amusement.

    "The outside force was human, porkies from the ent. They were especially interested in something they called ''those big ass-shrimp''. They were very certain to get all of them as well as any alcoholic beverages. We also believe that they ''salvaged'' a fair amount of industrial equipment as well."

    "How did they have time to do all of that?" Gvx-Taa demanded. "Where was the fucking Federation?"

    "The workers hadpromised the administrative area before the attack," the officer replied, "Arge incendiary device was detonated as part of their first strike. It killed everyone near the transmitter as well as damaged the primary interface. It also caused the initial rm to be ''fire'' instead of ''riot'' and confused the initial emergency response. They went for firefighting gear instead of sprinting for the armory, which the rioters destroyed during the initial confusion. They were already armed, so they just tossed another of those firebombs inside. As a result, very few additional personnel were able to arm themselves, and those who were armed were unable to reach heavier weapons or proper riot gear."

    Detailed diagrams of troop movements appeared.

    "The rioters had everything nned down to the smallest detail, including the arrival of the enemy ships. They also had some means of bypassing door controls which implies hacker support. We also suspect AI modeling was avable."

    The intelligence officer fluttered their antennae inughter.

    "The Kaarst believe that the prisoners were too well equipped and well organized to have been acting alone. They believe that they must have had outside help."

    "You think?" Gvx-Taa snickered. "Do we know who and how?"

    "Seenit, sir," the officer replied, "and it was our old friend LegitimateBusinessDragon. We knew they were talking to someone in Kaarst space and that it was an ore processing facility, but we were unable to determine which one. The Kaarst were notified and advised to increase both signal and cargo security, and Federation assets were moved to the area, but there are a lot of ore processing stations, so it was not possible to station a permanent guard over each one. Three cruisers were patrolling them. I probably needn''t tell you that the attack was well-timed."

    "Oh, I hate that guy," Gvx-Taa spat. "What about the fusion bomb?"

    "Non-Terran," the officer replied. "The implications are obvious."

    "Fuck." Gvx-Taa grumbled. "It was only a matter of time, wasn''t it?"

    He spat a small wad of bile into his spittoon.

    "At least we have documentation showing that we warned the Kaarst and the fleet," Gvx-Taa replied. "Thanks for the briefing. I gotta go and waste the rest of the morning on a fucking conference call about this excrement."

    He rose.

    "Thank the Creator for that sniper," he said. "At least I don''t have to actually go over there anymore."

    ***

    The Kaarst councilor fumed with rage as he addressed the Federation Security Council and Gvx-Taa.

    "Once again!" they screeched, "Once again, we are the target of an unjustified and brutal attack! First, they attack our shipping with impunity, and now this?!? Is the Federation impotent? Is it ipetent?"

    "Actually, it''s just tired of your shit," Gvx-Taa replied, causing the Kaarst counselor to scream with rage.

    "It''s good to see that you are maintaining the traditions established by your predecessor," Veeka, a security council member, snickered, "However, do you actually have anything of substance to add?"

    "Actually, we do have a very valuable suggestion for the Kaarst," Gvx-Taa said.

    He grinned.

    "Stop being a pore. People will kill you less often."

    The Kaarst councilor screamed.

    "No, seriously," Gvx-Taa said smoothly, "stop being a pore. The Forsaken are very careful about public perception, and you anal pores are universally <em>hated</em>. Not only are you disagreeable to the extreme, and your policies are an outrage, but you are just in ugly. I mean, I can barely look at you. Nobody likes you, and <em>that''s</em> why the Forsaken hits you time and time and time again. They do it because they <em>can</em>¡­"

    Gvx-Taa leaned forward, causing his face to fill the screen.

    "...because you are a <em>pore</em>. Right now, you''re one of the biggest pores there is. Stop being a pore, and the anus mites will move on to the next one."

    The Kaarst started screaming with rage even louder, his face and extremities turning darker.

    "Can you do that?" Gvx-Taa asked, "Can you maybe not be a pore?"

    More screaming, random threats, and obscenity was the reply.

    "I guess not," Gvx-Taa shrugged with a click of his mandibles.

    He muted the Kaarst and looked at the security council.

    "Are we done here because I actually have things to do?"

    "We thank you for your time," Veeka replied, "and your <em>valuable</em> input," she added with a little smile.

    Gvx-Taa nodded his insectoid head and terminated the call.

 Chapter 236: Brenda, Everyones Favorite Ray of Sunshine!

    Chapter 236: Brenda, Everyone''s Favorite Ray of Sunshine!

    Councilor Veeka, wearing an ornate green dress and a fancy hat that resembled an Old-Earthmpshade, waddled out of an armored personnel carrier and into an underground parking lot beneath the Federation Intelligence Agency.

    She looked back at it and winced. How could this have happened to <em>her</em> capital? They couldn¡¯t even venture outside anymore for fear of the snipers that they still couldn¡¯t catch¡­

    Unless you were part of Karashel¡¯s coven, of course. They could just walk wherever they pleased.

    Veeka scowled.

    <em>Too unimportant to be a target, my fuzzy ass,</em> she thought darkly. Those¡­ <em>traitors</em> were in league with Jessica Morgan. Everybody <em>knew</em> it!

    But, there was no evidence and, thanks to some first-ss psychological and political fuckery by that little pink menace, no further investigation on the matter.

    She hissed faintly at the thought of it all. That¡­ slug¡­ yed up the whole ideological angle, and they all fell for it. She realized it now. Karashel was no more of amunist than she was. That little fiend was pure, amoral opportunism distilled into a mucus-like ooze, and the <em>second</em> Federation officials started discussing their dangerous ideology in the same breath they discussed their traitorous, criminal actions, they skipped merrily onto one of her slimeden slopes¡­

    ...and she was waiting at the bottom.

    There were few protections under the Federation Charter, but the freedom to ¡°navigate one¡¯s own path¡± was sacred and had some of the greatest protections there were. They were as free to choose munism¡± or munalism¡± or whatever the Void they were calling it this week as her own people were to govern themselves as a sovereign entity.

    The second their ideology was called ¡°dangerous¡± by official representatives of the Federation, herwyers unleashed a flurry of suits against everyone involved¡­

    ...including Veeka herself.

    They had no choice but to back down and let Karashel get away with <em>literal murder</em>.

    Creators, she hated Karashel and that¡­ smug slimy smirk of hers. More than once, she caught herself thinking that Federation prison wasn¡¯t that bad. All she had to do was¡­

    No.

    Veeka shook herself, her fur bristling. As tempting as the thought of blowing that slug¡¯s brains out was, the Federation was hanging by a thread, and Karashel¡¯s party had an ever-growing stranglehold on food production. If they halted shipments, the Federation would have to intervene, resulting in civil war with dozens of <em>major agricultural</em> systems flocking to the Forsaken.

    For all she knew, that was Jessica Morgan¡¯s n all along. It probably was.

    She threw on a false smile and greeted some of her fellow councilors as they debarked their own APCs, and they all proceeded towards the entrance.

    ***

    ¡°Thank you all foring,¡± Senior Agent [emailprotected]@ said pleasantly to the dozens of councilors present, members of the Council Intelligence, Defense, Interior, and Emergency councils, as well as a number of senior Federation Defense officers of all branches that were seated behind thick armored transparent windows above the testing area.

    Standing beside him was one of the few humans remaining in service to the Federation, Agent Kareen Smythe.

    In front of her was a table on which sat various firearms and boxes of ammunition, and about a dozen yards away were targets, several of which were armored mannequins wearing various Federation gear.

    ¡°My name is Senior Agent [emailprotected]@,¡± he said in a professional tone, ¡°and I will be...¡±

    ¡°It was my understanding that the Director would be present,¡± a rather unpleasant-sounding Vulxeen interrupted.

    ¡°The <em>Director</em> is rather busy today,¡± Xree replied with only the faintest twitch of his less damaged ear. ¡°It is not necessary for him to conduct this briefing and demonstration.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s <em>very</em> disrespectful!¡± the Vulxeen eximed, ¡°Are we not worth his time?¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t a question of <em>worth</em>,¡± Xree replied, ¡°It is a question of what would best serve the Federation¡¯s needs, something I¡¯m <em>sure</em> is a priority for you? We are more than capable of conducting this meeting, but if you would prefer, I¡¯m sure your fellow councilors would have no issue rescheduling.¡±

    ¡°That will be quite alright, Senior Agent,¡± Veeka said, ring at the Vulxeen. ¡°I, for one, am very interested in the topic of today¡¯s briefing.¡±

    Her whiskers twitched.

    ¡°However, I am concerned about another absence,¡± she said, ¡°I understood that¡­ Captain¡­ Kraak-To would also be present? I had hoped to consult with him. I have questions concerning the extent of the Forsaken¡¯s logisticwork.¡±

    Senior Agent [emailprotected]@¡¯s nose twitched slightly.

    ¡°Captain Kraak-To is¡­ indisposed at the moment,¡± he said as pleasantly as he could as several members of the Federation Navy shifted ufortably.

    ***

    Kraak-To slowly regained consciousness.

    Where was he?

    What was going on?

    He was lying¡­ in a hospital bed?

    Had there been yet another attempt on his life?

    <em>Hospital!!!</em> There was no way that could be secure! He had to get out!

    The fate of the Federation was at stake!!! He tried to sit upright and realized that he was¡­ strapped down?

    <em>What?</em>

    He started screeching with confusion and rm.

    Shortly thereafter, he heard the soft click of an auto doser.

    ¡°No!¡± he shouted, ¡°I need to speak to someone¡­ I¡­ need¡­ F-federa...tion...¡±

    His eyes curled upward, and he floated off on a warm fuzzy cloud.

    ***

    Across the street, inside a wrecked and abandoned government office building (with a perfectly intactwork connection), a lump of smuggler¡¯s webbing munched on a bag of algae munch-ems as she watched Kraak-To through the imnts in her eyes which were nowworked into the hospital¡¯s security system.

    She grinned.

    The bird had been so much <em>fun!</em> He had almost been as much fun as the skink!

    Reaching into a nearby webbing-covered bag, she pulled out a biofilm-wrapped pastry as she started to activate a suite of advanced intrusion apps and started to delve deeper into the hospital¡¯s systems.

    ***

    On the other side of the city, a human stepped forward and looked up at her audience.

    ¡°There is amon misconception concerning Terran weapons,¡± Agent Smythe said as she addressed the audience.

    She held up a Federation ster.

    ¡°This is a weapon,¡± she said.

    She then held up a power cell.

    ¡°This is not,¡± she continued, ¡°Well¡­ It <em>can</em> be turned into one, but it takes some doing.¡±

    She set them down and then picked up an AK-47D.

    ¡°This is a weapon,¡± she said.

    She then picked up a single round of 7.62x39.

    ¡°However,¡± she said, ¡°<em>this</em> is also a weapon. In fact, it can be argued that the dreaded AK is <em>secondary</em> to this little nightmare right here.¡±

    She set down the AK and held the cartridge aloft.

    ¡°This is an entirely self-contained weapons package consisting of the projectile and the potential energy necessary to send it downrange and can be initiated by nothing more than a firm tap on the base. This is a very important distinction between the weapons entering and now being fabricated within the Federation and anything you are previously used to dealing with,¡± she said in a professional and matter-of-fact tone. ¡°Yes, gunpowder arms are not unique. In fact, most of your races had them at one point or another during your development.¡±

    She paused for effect.

    ¡°However, we humans have elevated them to an unprecedented level,¡± she said with a trace of pride. ¡°I needn¡¯t tell any of you how effective these weapons can be.¡±

    She picked up a metal tube.

    ¡°However, what I do need to make very clear is that it is not the <em>rifle</em> that is so dangerous,¡± she said as she slid the cartridge into the tube and picked up another section of tubing.

    She slid the first tube into the second.

    ¡°It is the <em>cartridge</em>!¡±

    She leveled the two pieces of tubing at one of the target dummies and, with an expert flick of the wrist, sent the first tube sliding backwards.

    There was a gunshot, and a fist-sized hole was blown out the back of the dummy as the audience gasped.

    A cutaway diagram of the two tubes was holographically projected.

    ¡°All that is required is a method of containing the pressure generated by the chemicalpound in the base of the cartridge and a means of providing a blow to the primer,¡± Agent Smythe said calmly. ¡°In fact, I built this ¡®weapon¡¯ in less than thirty minutes using items and equipment present in our motor pool. It doesn¡¯t even require that.¡±

    She looked gravely at the audience.

    ¡°This means that each of those millions of rounds of ammunition that are streaming into the Federation is <em>in and of itself</em> a weapon. It doesn¡¯t matter if there is a ¡®gun¡¯ or not.¡±

    She opened a Terran-style cardboard box and pulled out a twelve-gauge shotgun shell.

    ¡°These are called ¡®shotgun shells,¡¯ and they are being produced at a staggering rate for our ck and grey market. They are even more concerning than the AK rounds in that they generate less pressure, are smooth bore which means that those grooves present in the barrels of their rifles are not required, and they deliver muchrger or multiple projectiles. A ¡®slug¡¯ for one of these ¡®shells¡¯ capable of defeating standard infantry armor can be produced very simply and inexpensively, and the only things required to make a ¡®shotgun¡¯ are two pieces of any of several standard piping or structuralponents already manufactured and almost universally abundant.¡±

    She picked up a crude shotgun.

    ¡°This was seized at a crime scene here in the capital,¡± she said as she raised it. ¡°It is called a ¡®table leg¡¯ because that is <em>exactly</em> what it is. In one of those grand jests the universe likes to make, it turns out that this widespread fixture happens to have a central bore that exactly fits one of these twelve gauge shells, and the wall thickness is sufficient to contain the pressure. It even has brackets already attached for stocks and other such conveniences.¡±

    She turned it so that its simple workings could be visible in the magnified holographic projection above her head.

    ¡°A few hours with some basic tools and a spring salvaged from any number of sources, and you have a weapon capable of taking down an armored trooper.

    She loaded the shotgun shell into the shotgun and leveled it at another dummy.

    ¡°As you can see,¡± she smiled as she pulled the trigger.

    <strong>BOOM</strong>

    There was a blinding sh as the shotgun detonated, removing most of her head and throwing shrapnel across the demonstration area, knocking Xree to the ground, clutching the side of his face.

    As sirens started to screech and the councilors started to scream and trample each other, desperate to escape, Xree crawled over to what was left of his friend.

    Something was drifting down all around him.

    A moment of panic quickly turned into ck rage as he saw what it was¡­

    ...hundreds of tiny little yellow smiley faces.

    Blood streaming down his ruined face, he cradled his friend¡¯s body and let forth an anguished Xvli war scream.

    ***

    Across town, a wad of webbing giggled happily.

    It seemed that a certain race traitor had delivered quite the performance. The old high explosive ammunition trick, it never got old.

    Of course, the real trick was getting it into the right box, but that¡¯s why she made the big bucks. Of course, the fact that Fed Intel was one of the few ces left where humans actually walked around freely didn¡¯t hurt¡­

    Neither did the fact that <em>almost</em> all of them were traitors by either Terran or Porkie standards. All of them were eptable coteral damage, like the one who was now lying face down in her apartment, for example.

    She took a bit of a risk just waltzing into Fed Intel Headquarters like that, but it was stuff like that that made it fun! Oh, they will undoubtedly be able to figure out ¡°who she was,¡± and that <em>might</em> be a problem, but she had already decided that this would be herst run.

    After this was all over, she <em>was</em> going to retire. She wouldn¡¯t ever be able to top what would happen during this conflict. It was the perfect masterpiece with which to crown her career.

    Besides, she really enjoyed gene prospecting. She sighed as she thought about the guys. She really missed them. Maybe she could go back and...

    Ooo! It looked like some doctor, or something was walking into birdy¡¯s room.

    She hunkered down with a fresh bag of munch-em¡¯s as she watched and listened in.

    ***

    ¡°Look, Doctor,¡± Kraak-To said urgently, ¡°you don¡¯t understand. I am Captain...¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the Kreneel physician said with a touch of sadness in his voice, ¡°you are Captain Kraak-To of the Federation Navy, formerly Agent Kraak-To of the Ministry of Justice, Financial Crimes Division.¡±

    He leaned forward sympathetically.

    ¡°Do you know why you are here, Captain?¡±

    ¡°I have no idea!¡± Kraak-To eximed, ¡°But you have to release me immediately! This hospital is not secure! I have been targeted for assassination by the Forsaken and...¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the doctor said, his feathers ruffling ufortably. ¡°I understand you have been through quite the ordeal.¡±

    He consulted his tablet.

    ¡°It says here that you im that there have been over sixty confirmed attempts on your life?¡±

    ¡°At least!¡± Kraak-To eximed, ¡°At least that many! If it isn¡¯t a drone, it¡¯s poison. If it isn¡¯t poison, it¡¯s a roadside bomb! The Hatchet is relentless! If he has been given your name, it¡¯s only a matter of time before they kill you! My security rms are going off constantly! I can¡¯t eat. I can¡¯t sleep. They have constantly been trying to defeat my defenses. Even when I moved into headquarters, they still pursued me!¡±

    ¡°Yes, Captain,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°I¡¯m sure that it was very¡­ stressful for you.¡±

    ¡°You have to believe me!¡± Kraak-To eximed.

    ¡°I¡¯m not disputing that you <em>believe</em> that there have been attempts on your life,¡± the doctor said carefully, ¡°You are clearly in fear for your life, but...¡±

    ¡°No evidence was found because the Hatchet cleaned the scene before crime teams could arrive!¡± Kraak-To yelled, ¡°Of course, they wouldn¡¯t find anything! I have scans! I have proof!¡±

    ¡°We have plenty of time to discuss your proof, Captain,¡± the doctor smiled reassuringly, ¡°Captain, do you remember why you were admitted?¡±

    ¡°I was attacked!¡±

    The doctor winced.

    ¡°You shot someone¡­ with a Terran Red-Tip, Captain.¡±

    ¡°It was a <em>human</em>!¡± Kraak-To eximed, ¡°and they were drawing a weapon!¡±

    The doctor sighed.

    ¡°Captain,¡± he said carefully, ¡°That human was a Federation Naval Officer, and they were not drawing a weapon. They were checking their phone.¡±

    ¡°No! It was a weapon! <em>I saw it!</em>¡±

    Across the street, a bundle of sensor-defeating rags giggled as she munched. He was absolutely correct. He saw <em>exactly</em> what he imed he did.

    It was amazing what the Federation built into their top-of-the-line smartphones. Those holographic mini-theaters were so <em>neat!</em>¡­ and so realistic!

    She was totally going to have to buy one!

    In the mental ward, Kraak-To was having a moment.

    ¡°No!¡± he screeched, ¡°You¡¯re wrong! It was The Hatchet! He was trying to kill me! C-check my scanner! Please! Check the scanner! It was on!¡±

    ¡°I am sure that there will be aplete investigation, Captain,¡± the doctor said with a little sigh, ¡°If there was a scanner in your possession and it was on, I¡¯m sure that it will be carefully reviewed.¡±

    ¡°There was a scanner!¡± Kraak-To screeched, ¡°I always have a scanner! Always!¡±

    Brenda smiled. Kraak-To¡¯s scanner was scramble-sauce. It seemed that someone ced a pocket EMP right next to it when it was ced into evidence. The love a parent has for their child is such a beautiful thing. They will do absolutely anything to keep them safe¡­

    <em>Anything.</em>

    ¡°Check the scanner!¡± Kraak-To screeched. ¡°It will exonerate me! Call the fleet! Call...¡±

    ¡°I can assure you, Captain,¡± the doctor sighed, ¡°All applicable individuals and agencies have been notified. Is there anyone else you would like to have called, family perhaps?¡±

    ¡°No, because I have no intention of remaining in this <em>death trap!</em>¡± Kraak-To yelled. ¡°There is a reason why Jessica Morgan herself wants me <em>dead!</em> I am the foremost expert on their organization and...¡±

    ¡°I can assure you that you are perfectly safe here,¡± the doctor replied. ¡°This is a very secure wing in a very secure hospital, and guards are posted right outside. Nobody can hurt you in here.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re wrong!¡± Kraak-To shouted, ¡°you don¡¯t know what they are like! They are going to kill me! Untie me! Please! They are on the way if they aren¡¯t here already!¡±

    The doctor clicked his beak reassuringly, causing Kraak-To to screech with rage.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to give you a little something to rx you, calm you down a bit,¡± the doctor clucked reassuringly. ¡°then, after a good night¡¯s sleep, we can try again, yes?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Kraak-To screamed. ¡°You don¡¯t understand! Please!¡±

    The doctor sighed and left the room.

    On his way off the floor, he paused by the nurse¡¯s station, where a strapping Threen sat proudly.

    ¡°Nurse,¡± the doctor said politely, ¡°I trust that a full scan has been made of Captain Kraak-To?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Doctor,¡± the nurse growled.

    ¡°Please send me everything, and, if you could, could you do another detailed imaging of his brain and central nervous system.¡±

    ¡°Doctor?¡±

    ¡°There is something off about this one,¡± he said pensively, ¡°It is very unusual for a Kreneel to exhibit full-bore psychosis with delusions and hallucinations, even under the most trying circumstances. When our minds break, we go catatonic, not homicidal.¡±

    ¡°Must be nice,¡± the Threen growled, causing the doctor to chuckle.

    ¡°I suppose so,¡± he replied. ¡°Program in three milliliters of Gvaarkaltan every six hours for now.¡±

    ¡°Three milliliters?¡± the Threen asked in surprise.

    ¡°He is experiencing extreme distress,¡± the doctor replied, ¡°I think a nap would do him good...¡±

    The doctor smiled.

    ¡°And I suspect your ears could use a break. A distressed Kreneel can¡¯t be pleasant on those Threen ears.¡±

    The Threen smiled back.

    ¡°I¡¯ll order the dosage immediately,¡± the Threen replied.

    ***

    Kraak-To struggled against the straps, trying to get free. What they said couldn¡¯t be true.

    He <em>saw</em> the gun. He saw it!

    There was a quiet ¡°click¡± as the auto doser delivered a 3ml squirt of a powerful tranquilizer into his IV.

    Then there was another ¡°click¡±¡­

    And then there was a ¡°clickclickclickclickclickclickclick...¡± as the auto doser cycled again and again.

    Kraak-To tried to scream, but all that came out was a sigh as his eyes rolled back, and he floated away on a warm fuzzy cloud.

    ***

    In the same hospital, a very unhappy Xvli awoke.

    ¡°Darling!¡± his fianc¨¦ shouted as she rushed to his side.

    ¡°Well,¡± Xree sighed, ¡°at least my ears match now¡­ Wait¡­ <em>Did I lose a fucking eye?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°That you did,¡± Gvx-Taa, his boss, snickered. ¡°Fortunately for you, Xvli skulls are like titanium. We¡¯ll have a prosthetic consultant drop by first thing in the morning. I assume you want an upgrade?¡±

    ¡°Might as well,¡± Xree muttered.

    He squeezed his bride-to-be¡¯s hand.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he said, ¡°I know you had your heart set on marrying a handsome man.¡±

    ¡°I have my heart set on you, you asshole!¡± she replied as she carefully hugged him. ¡°Besides, real women dig scars¡­ and we can get your ears repaired,¡± she added after a moment. ¡°Seriously, those things are <em>shredded</em>.¡±

    Xreeughed until he coughed.

    ¡°Maybe I can get them done like that actor you like,¡± Xree said, still coughing.

    ¡°Now there¡¯s a thought!¡± his fianc¨¦ughed. ¡°I could have the ck Archer except for <em>real!</em>¡±

    They bothughed for a moment.

    Xree pulled her in close for a kiss.

    ¡°Darling,¡± he said gently, ¡°the boss-man and I need to have a little chat. Could you maybe go for a walk for a few minutes?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll go and get you some of that awful human coffee,¡± she said as she kissed him on the nose and loped off.

    He sighed and shook his head.

    ¡°I have no idea what she sees in me,¡± he chuckled.

    ¡°Me either,¡± Gvx-Taa chuckled.

    ¡°It was the fucking Hatchet,¡± Xree said.

    ¡°I know,¡± Gvx-Taa replied, ¡°We are still picking up all the little yellow ¡®smileys¡¯.¡±

    ¡°They killed Kareen,¡± Xree glowered, ¡°Fucking killed her <em>in our home!</em>¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°I <em>want</em> them,¡± Xree snarled. ¡°Give them to me, and I <em>will</em> find them.¡±

    Gvx-Taa nodded.

    ¡°Pull your team off of the Forsaken,¡± he said, ¡°You have absolute free reign. Hunt that piece of <em>shit</em> down.¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± Xree snarled.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get Jaxona to get Kalent tech authorized for your eye,¡± Gvx-Taa said. ¡°They owe us a favor or three. More importantly, they owe <em>Axlea</em>. They want that pore as much as we do.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, sir.¡±

    Jaxona nervously entered the room.

    ¡°Ah, speak of the devil,¡± Gvx-Taa said.

    ¡°Um...¡± Jaxona said nervously, ¡°Do you have something to spit in? It¡¯s about Kraak-To...¡±

    Momentster, everyone on the floor jumped as a Xvli and a Xneel howled with rage.

    ***

    A few hourster, deep beneath the capital city, a bundle of dirty webbing dropped out of a venttion shaft and into arge, freshly dug tunnel.

    While the tunnel was deathly silent, giant open-topped grav carts drifted past every few moments, fully loaded with dirt and rocks.

    Brenda trotted alongside one for a few moments before grabbing the side and climbing up onto the pile of dirt it was carrying.

    She kicked back on the pile and opened a juice box and another bio-film wrapped pastry.

    Today was fun!

    As she sipped and munched, she pulled out a slip of old-fashioned cellulose-based paper.

    <em>Now, who¡¯s next?</em>

 Chapter 237: The Smileys Settle

    Chapter 237: The Smiley''s Settle

    ¡°You¡¯re impossible, you know that?¡± Xree¡¯s fiance dered proudly as he painfully hauled himself out of bed.

    ¡°The scene is still fresh,¡± he said as he started getting dressed.

    She shook her head as she helped him into his shirt.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get a wheelchair,¡± she said as she handed him his ster.

    ¡°I can walk,¡± he replied.

    ¡°No, you can¡¯t,¡± she replied. ¡°You got it in the ear, darling. You¡¯re already about to puke, aren¡¯t you.¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Thought so,¡± she said as she guided him to the chair she was recently upying. ¡°Now sit your mangled ass down, and I¡¯ll get a chair.¡±

    She loped from the room.

    A few momentster, Gvx-Taa entered.

    ¡°Just what the fuck do you think you are doing?¡± he clicked.

    ¡°My job,¡± Xree replied.

    Gvx-Taa just shrugged and handed him the scanner he was carrying as Xree¡¯s fiance returned, pushing a chair.

    ¡°It¡¯s a secure area,¡± Gvx-Taa clicked gently. ¡°I¡¯ll push him.¡±

    ***

    ¡°I told him it was safe...¡± a distraught doctor said as he clutched at his beak and nibbled his talons in distress. ¡°I told him¡­¡±

    Xree just sighed and patted the doctor¡¯s shoulder.

    ¡°It¡¯s the Hatchet,¡± he said with a shrug. ¡°This isn¡¯t the first ¡®safe¡¯ ce they have struck. It isn¡¯t even the first safe ce they struck today. There was nothing you could have done.¡±

    ¡°He <em>said</em> he was in danger,¡± the doctor moaned. ¡°He <em>told</em> me¡­ I¡­ I just thought...¡±

    The doctor quietly started to weep.

    Xree let out a mildly annoyed snort. The doctor was useless, at least for now. Pushing a Kreneel in this state would just make them shut downpletely.

    ¡°We need to ask you some more questions,¡± Xree said gently, ¡°when you are ready to talk, ok?¡±

    ¡°O-okay...¡± the doctor replied, still looking down. Xree nced over at the Threen nurse behind the desk.

    ¡°Were you on duty when it happened?¡±

    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± the Threen replied.

    ¡°Tell me, step by step, what happened.¡±

    ¡°There isn¡¯t really that much to say,¡± the Threen replied, ¡°The patient was listed as potentially violent and extremely distressed, so the doctor...¡±

    The doctor let out a strangled squawk.

    ¡°The doctor prescribed three ml of Gvaarkaltan, a potent tranquilizer, every six hours.¡±

    ¡°A bit strong,¡± Xree observed, much to the doctor¡¯s distress.

    ¡°The patient wasbative and actively struggling against his restraints,¡± the nurse replied, ¡°there were concerns that he would injure himself¡­ and he was nearly incoherent with distress¡­¡±

    The Threen looked away.

    ¡°We thought he was being irrational.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t beat yourself up over it,¡± Xree replied. ¡°I can¡¯t go into details, but nobody is finding fault with any of your actions. We are just trying to find out something that can help us catch this monster.¡±

    The Threen nodded.

    ¡°So I entered the order into the system,¡± the Threen continued. ¡°A few minutester, we got an rm from his room. We tried to¡­¡±

    The Threen sighed.

    ¡°But it was far toote. The entire cassette was emptied into the patient, and the doser was still clicking. That¡¯s <em>impossible</em>! There are safeguards, interlocks! How...¡±

    ¡°We will be making a thorough investigation,¡± Xree said calmly, ¡°and will be forwarding any and all findings to the appropriate agencies to ensure this does not happen again. We¡­ Oh, Creator¡¯s jizz...¡±

    Xree scowled as several uniformed Naval Officers approached.

    ¡°Who is the agent in charge here?¡± A Vulxeen captain asked.

    ¡°That would be me,¡± Xree replied as he got out of his wheelchair to confront the greypig (and regretted it immediately. A Xvli¡¯s superior bnce and spatial perception is a very mixed blessing when the ears get hit.)

    ¡°Captain Bolkavar¡¯Hauui-Maaxaimian, Naval Intelligence,¡± he said as he bent stiffly at the waist the appropriate amount required to greet a peer. ¡°But that¡¯s a mouthful. You can just call me Bolk.¡±

    ¡°Senior Agent [emailprotected]@, Federation Intelligence,¡± Xree replied, copying the captain¡¯s bow. ¡°I go by Xree.¡±

    The captain looked around.

    ¡°I see you gentlebeings got here first,¡± he smiled, his lip nubs wiggling with amusement.

    ¡°Well, I had a shorter trip,¡± Xree smirked.

    ¡°I see that,¡± Captain Bolk replied. ¡°I was at the demonstration. Are you certain that you are¡­ um...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Xree hissed as his head reeled.

    ¡°Before we go any further,¡± the captain said politely, ¡°I am NOT here to lick your breakfast. This is clearly your turf¡­ unless you fall over and hit your other ear, that is.¡±

    He gestured towards the wheelchair.

    With a suspicious hiss, Xree sat back down.

    ¡°Tell me, Xree,¡± Captain Bolk said as he sat on a couch nearby. ¡°Was this the ¡®Hatchet¡¯ that had Kraak-To so concerned?¡±

    ¡°We are still processing the scene,¡± Xree replied, ¡°but it is highly likely. This matches their MO perfectly. The only thing that iscking is...¡±

    Jaxona exited Kraak-To¡¯s room holding a tablet.

    ¡°Found it,¡± she said grimly. ¡°It was encoded in the auto-doser pulses. They aren¡¯t steady. There is a distinct rhythm. When converted to binary and then tranted to Old Terran Unicode it trantes to ¡®U+1F642¡¯.¡±

    She turned her tablet to reveal a yellow smiley face emoji.

    Xree just closed his eyes and hissed.

    ¡°And there it is,¡± Xree grumbled. ¡°Their calling card. It was The Hatchet.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Captain Bolk said grimly. ¡°We thought he would be safe here.¡±

    ¡°There is no safe when you deal with that monster,¡± Xree replied. ¡°She hit us in our <em>headquarters</em>, for Void¡¯s sake.¡±

    The Captain pulled out hismunicator.

    ¡°If there is anything we can do to assist, anything at all, tell me,¡± Captain Bolk said as he sent Xree his contact information. ¡°I¡¯ll deal with the red tape on our end.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I know our agencies have historically had ¡®issues¡¯,¡± the captain said with a sigh, ¡°But I no longer have time for that nonsense. We are at <em>war</em> with an enemy who has no scruple nor remorse, an enemy who uses terror and murder on a scale heretofore unimaginable...¡±

    The captain sighed heavily.

    ¡°What they did to my <em>home</em>¡­ I lost <em>family</em>...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Xree said, not quite sure how to respond.

    ¡°And I fear that we have only seen the beginning of what they have in store,¡± the captain continued. ¡°We can¡¯t fight them and each other if we have any hope of winning¡­ If¡­ If we had reached out earlier¡­ Perhaps Captain Kraak-To and Commander Perkins would still be alive.¡±

    ¡°He was the human?¡±

    The captain nodded.

    ¡°He was a good man,¡± Captain Bolk said, ¡°And as one of the few loyal humans remaining, an invaluable resource.¡±

    ¡°Looks like a¡­ ugh¡­ looks like a pattern,¡± Xree said as he winced. He was not feeling very good at all. ¡°Agent Smythe was one of the most senior humans we had left as well as our expert on human weaponry. The knowledge and experience we lost was a very real blow.¡±

    ¡°Do you think they are targeting human expertise?¡± The Captain asked.

    ¡°If they are, they are putting a very high priority on it,¡± Xree replied. ¡°Are you familiar with The Hatchet, Captain?¡±

    ¡°Aside from Captain Kraak-To¡¯s increasingly deranged ramblings, no.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Xree shrugged, ¡°everything he told you was likely true.¡±

    <em>¡°Seriously?¡±</em>

    ¡°They are a ¡®kingyer¡¯,¡± Xree said in a weary tone, ¡°quite possibly the best assassin¡­ ever. It doesn¡¯t matter who the target is. If they are given their name, and their fee is paid, that individual is dead, including thete Director Axlea.¡±

    ¡°That was this Hatchet?!?¡±

    Xree nodded.

    ¡°Was she targeted by Jessica Morgan as well?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Xree replied, ¡°The Hatchet works for whoever pays. In that case, the person handing out the credits was Patricia Hu. The Hatchet has worked for people in the Federation, the Republic, the Empire, independent space¡­ whoever can meet her rate, which is significant. If Jessica wants human knowledge removed from our reach, she is paying at least eight figures a head for it, at least.¡±

    ¡°Creators,¡± the captain muttered, ¡°then there must be a reason besides just going after ¡®traitors¡¯.¡±

    Xree nodded.

    ¡°We need to pull our remaining humans in and keep them secure,¡± Xree said as he pulled out hismunicator.

    The Captain did the same.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry ma¡¯am,¡± a guard called out from around the corner, ¡°This area is an active¡ª¡°

    <em>¡°[emailprotected]@!¡±</em> a very imperious and highly annoyed Xvli voice boomed. ¡°You get your ass out here <em>right now!¡±</em>

    Xree winced.

    ¡°The wife?¡± the captain asked with a smile.

    ¡°Not yet,¡± Xree replied ruefully.

    ¡°Get off of me!¡± his fiance shouted, presumably at the poor guards trying to stop her. ¡°The soft-headed pellet actually has a fucking concussion! He needs to get his stupid tail in bed. [emailprotected]@! If you don¡¯t wheel your sorry wilted pecker out here <em>immediately</em>, I will <em>personally</em> rip the rest of your ears off!¡±

    ¡°You have a concussion?¡± Jaxona eximed as she rushed out of Kraak-To¡¯s room.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± Xree replied. ¡°We need¡­ ugh¡­ we need to try to find out where¡­ where they...¡±

    ¡°Yes, yes, yes,¡± Jaxona replied, ¡°We need to find out where they tapped in before the Sani-clear or whatever she used strips everything down to the masonry.¡±

    She grabbed Xree¡¯s wheelchair and firmly started marching him toward his somewhat annoyed future bride.

    ¡°We¡¯ll handle that,¡± Jaxona said as Xree¡¯s fiance red at him. ¡°You justy down and drool for a little bit. Kalent teams are sweeping the area as well. If she left so much as a pube, we¡¯ll find it.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Xree said, ¡°She?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jaxona replied, ¡°we now know that The Hatchet is a human female and even have her rough physical dimensions.¡±

    <em>¡±How?¡±</em> Xree said as he gripped the wheels of his chair, causing them to squeal against the tiles.

    ¡°We know how she got into our headquarters now,¡± Jaxona said grimly. ¡°She killed Agent Lin and assumed her identity. She didn¡¯t pick her by ident. She had to be close enough so The Hatchet could pull it off.¡±

    ¡°Lin¡¯s <em>dead</em>?!?¡± Xree eximed. <em>¡±When?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Last night,¡± Jaxona replied, ¡°when we were reviewing the security footage and ess logs, she was the only one who was in the same room with the weapons and ammo for the presentation. We sent a team to ¡®politely invite¡¯ her in for ¡®a little chat¡¯ and found her face down on her living room floor. What was done to her was¡­ she¡­ The Hatchet, I mean¡­ she¡­ um¡­ she removed enough <em>dermal samples</em> that she could pass through the bio-scanners... somehow.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ but I saw her <em>today</em>!¡± Xree shouted. ¡°That¡­ That <em>bitch</em> even <em>waved at me!</em>¡­ <em>I¡¯ll KILL HER!!! I WILL RIP¡­ BLEAGH</em>¡±

    Xree doubled over and vomited on the floor, causing his fiance to leap over the guards and rush to him.

    Jaxona waved frantically at the guards preventing them from literally stunning the pellets out of Xree¡¯s future bride.

    ¡°Darling!¡± she gushed as she stroked his fur, ¡°Oh, darling! Oh, love!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ just¡­ puke...¡± Xree grumbled.

    ¡°Get him back to the emergency room or wherever,¡± Jaxona said. ¡°I¡¯ll lead things here until they send someone actually... qualified,¡± she added with a bit of amusement.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe they told you I had a concussion,¡± Xree grumbled as his fiance wheeled him down the hall.

    ¡°They didn¡¯t,¡± she said as she batted him with one of her intact ears. ¡°But they did discuss it among themselves when they thought nobody was within ¡®earshot¡¯. Now let¡¯s get you back to bed.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Well done!¡± Jessica said to a hard-hat wearing Brenda, who was leaning against arge mining machine while eating a ¡®ham¡¯ and cheese sandwich. ¡°You actually infiltrated Federation Intelligence¡¯s HQ? How?¡±

    ¡°A little quirk of those ¡®impregnable¡¯ bio scanners,¡± Brenda grinned, ¡°They are used at shift changes and other times when a lot of people areing through at once. They have a very narrow and shallow sweep with a lot of noise canceling to keep the false rms down. I had an ID and enough living skin on me to fool it.¡±

    ¡°You <em>skinned</em> a Fed?¡± Jessicaughed.

    ¡°Not all the way!¡± Brenda replied, ¡°Just enough so I could spread it out over the smuggler¡¯s bodysuit I had on under her uniform.¡±

    ¡°What about the face?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that was kinda gross,¡± Brenda said as she made an ick face. ¡°Let¡¯s just say that my foundation has an extra special ingredient.¡±

    ¡°And that worked?¡±

    ¡°It worked this time,¡± Brenda shrugged as she took another bite. ¡°It won¡¯t the next. They are probably already all over it. Gross! I just ate some makeup. I guess I¡¯m a real porkie now!¡±

    ¡°Watch it!¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°So¡­ That¡¯s three of ten. How quickly can you move on the rest?¡±

    ¡°I need toy low for a few,¡± Brenda replied. ¡°and see how their search is going to go. I should be able to start working up the next batch in maybe a week. I might get lucky and be able to move on someone before then, but I dunno.¡±

    Jessica made a less than satisfied face.

    ¡°Well, you got Smythe, Perkins, and Kraak-To,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°Those were the three I definitely wanted gone first. You have until the tunnel is finished to take out as many on the list as you can. I know how you are about always making a kill, but please, don¡¯t try to do the truly impossible. I would rather retain your services than you die because you had to prove something that no longer needs to be proven. If you can¡¯tplete the capital city list before the tunnel isplete, abort the rest of the assignment except for the <emst</em> target. Do you need anything more concerning that one?¡±

    ¡°I think I got what I need,¡± Brenda smiled, ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure what I want to do, but I¡¯m still working out the details. That one¡¯s tricky. Hey, what is the deal with this tunnel anyway?¡± Brenda asked. ¡°Why is it so big? Are we building a secret subway or something?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a surprise,¡± Jessica smiled.

    ¡°Ooo! I <em>love</em> surprises!¡±

    ***

    Later that night, Gvx-Taa sat in front of his monitor looking at the refined red-frilled Admiral Kelunkthinani, the head of Naval Intelligence and a Kalent.

    ¡°I agree,¡± Gvx-Taa said to the group, ¡°Thesetest attacks only further prove that we need to open up permanent channels ofmunication and increase cooperation between our agencies, not only where The Hatchet is concerned, but for every endeavor we are undertaking. I don¡¯t think I need to tell anyone here exactly how grim things actually are.¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± the Admiral replied. ¡°It¡¯s going to be a little rough at first, and there are a great many details we need to resolve as far as ess to our ssified materials go, but we need every advantage we can get. I¡¯m willing to set aside our pointless rivalry for the duration. As the humans say, ¡®We can hate each otherter.¡¯,¡± he added with a smile.

    ¡°There has been a¡­ shift¡­ as far as our internal¡­ administration goes. As a result, we will open our archives to you both,¡± the Kalent said, ¡°as well as increase the rate of technological exchange, provided that your agencies are willing to keep what we share to yourselves¡­ for now. There is simply no reason for you not to be properly equipped, and both of your agencies have shown that you are responsible both in temperament and in how you protect ssified information and technology. We shall start with your injured Xvli. I believe you will find the ¡®prosthetics¡¯ to be satisfactory. We will transfer him to our ¡®diplomatic vessel¡¯ in orbit immediately.¡±

    The Kalent paused.

    ¡°We will also begin the process of connecting both of you to the rather significant surveince feeds from that same ship. It is parked directly above Capital City and covers the entire area. We have, of course, been informing you both of any significant findings, but perhaps you will think to look where we do not. If it increases the chance of finding that fiend by the barest of margins, then we have no issue. We will also start the process of directly connecting you both into our gctic observation grid.¡±

    ¡°So it does exist after all,¡± the Admiral said.

    ¡°That it does,¡± the Kalent replied. ¡°Until now, we have been passing along information with the exnation that a ¡®passing ship¡¯ saw whatever it was we wanted to pass along. We shall, as they say, omit the feces from now on.¡±

    The Kalent let forth a chuckle-bloop.

    ¡°I must prepare you for disappointment, though,¡± he said, ¡°We are far from omniscient, and Jessica Morgan obviously knows far more about our observation grid than we had hoped. She is sessfully concealing most of her ships and doing a distressingly impressive job of obscuring their movements.¡±

    ¡°How?!?¡± the Admiral eximed.

    ¡°I would love to know that myself,¡± the Kalent replied.

    The Kalent red its gills.

    ¡°However, there is one thing that I <em>do</em> know,¡± it said with quiet malice. ¡°It is time that this ¡®Hatchet¡¯ and the Forsaken are dealt with once and for all. The gxy has be a much more dangerous ce, and our time of warm slumbering upon the gentle currents is now at an end. If we wish to survive as a Federation, we must fight in earnest, no half-measures, and if we wish to survive as individual species, we must do so together. I will not lie to you. We have been dissatisfied with the Federation for quite some time, but our dissatisfaction can be addressedter. It will be addressed by those in power dealing with those in power and not by withholding the very tools, weapons, and support needed to prevail against the Forsaken. The Argent program is only the beginning. I can promise you that.¡±

    It spun in agitation.

    ¡°It is not our job to determine the future path of the Federation. Our job is to protect the Federation that currently exists so that it can have that future. I don¡¯t care about nip-a-fin games, and I know you gentlebeings are sick of them as well. Let¡¯s catch ourselves a murderer and put down a criminal gang with delusions of sovereignty and put them down so hard that they never trouble us again.¡±

    The Admiral just dipped its slender needle-like beak in agreement as Gvx-Taa hurled a gob of bile into his spittoon.

    ¡°Sounds good to me,¡± Gvx-Taa buzzed. ¡°Shall we begin?¡±

 Chapter 238: One Hundred Credits

    Chapter 238: One Hundred Credits

    Am¡¯^ktt exited a decrepit electric bus and looked around nervously.

    While poor himself, even he didn¡¯t live in ces like this.

    Clutching his tattered robe around himself, he warily walked through the run-down buildings, many of which still showed damage from the ruinous civil war that had recently gripped his nation just before they were ¡°saved¡± by the Federation, and the shanties built from the rubble.

    He expected to be robbed at any moment.

    However, the locals paid him little notice save for the prostitutes, some of which were disturbingly young, and dealers of any of a wide range of intoxicants.

    Ignoring their offers of temporary bliss, he pressed onward.

    He wasn¡¯t here for pleasure, quite the contrary, in fact.

    He pulled out a scrap of pasteboard box he had in his pocket. On it was a scrawled map.

    ¡°There¡¯s the old fountain,¡± he muttered. ¡°Take a right...¡±

    He paused.

    ¡°Take a right¡± sent him down a dark alley he did not want to go down.

    Steeling himself, he stepped into the shadows expecting trouble at any moment.

    It didn¡¯t take many moments.

    ¡°Whatchoo doin¡¯ here milk-breath?¡± a lean and vicious Burtl hissed as a knife gleamed in the dim light.

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m looking for D^kv¡¯th Salvage?¡± he stammered.

    ¡°What for?¡±

    ¡°I...¡±

    He looked down.

    ¡°I want to spend a hundred credits...¡±

    ¡°Do ya now?¡± the thug grinned, revealing jagged and broken teeth, somepletely rotted away from kt¡¯ha.

    He pulled out a beat-up military radio handset.

    ¡°Got a customer fer ya,¡± he barked.

    ¡°Scan him,¡± a gruff voice replied.

    With a scarred arm bearing a military tattoo, the thug pulled out a new scanner and swept Am¡¯^ktt with it.

    ¡°He¡¯s clean,¡± the thug said into the radio, ¡°No weapons, no wires.¡±

    ¡°Send him back.¡±

    The thug pointed at a neon sign down the alley.

    ¡°In there,¡± he said.

    ***

    Am¡¯^ktt blinked in the harsh light of naked florescent tubes as he stood in a surprisingly clean and well-ordered workshop.

    Inside were several nasty-looking males and females, all holding strange weapons consisting of two tubes, onerger with one smaller inside it.

    Sitting on a barber¡¯s throne ced behind a desk was a muscr Burtl with most of the fur missing from his tattooed arms.

    Am¡¯^ktt tried not to stare at the skull and des on his shoulder, signifying that he was a former death squad member.

    A chill ran down his spine and all the way down his tail as he realized that everyone else in that room were probably members too.

    ¡°What do you want, milky?¡± their leader asked.

    ¡°I¡­ I heard that I¡­ that I could ¡®spend a hundred credits¡¯ here.¡±

    The Burtl pulled out a Kv^gar¡¯a, the signature de of the enforcers of the old regime.

    Am¡¯^ktt let out a little whine of fear.

    ¡°An¡¯ just where did you hear that?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I was told to say that V^sh¡¯ka sent me?¡±

    The Burtl shrugged.

    ¡°So, do you have the credits?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I have two hundred, all that I have.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t give a shit. Put them on the desk.¡±

    His hands shaking, Am¡¯^ktt put a prepaid card on the table. The Burtl took the card and inserted it into a transactor.

    He shrugged and nodded.

    One of his squad walked into the back and returned a momentter with a box.

    ¡°You know how to use ¡®em?¡± the Burtl asked.

    Am¡¯^ktt, still shaking, shook his head.

    The Burtl pulled out two pieces of pipe and a spent shotshell from his desk.

    ¡°You take the smaller pipe and put the shell in it like this,¡± he said as he slid in the empty shell. ¡°Then you put the small pipe in the bigger one.¡±

    He slid the two pipes together.

    ¡°Then all you have to do is,¡± he said as he mmed the two pipes together, ¡°that. It¡¯s going to kick like a mother¡¯s twitch, so be ready for that.¡±

    ¡°A¡­ and it will¡­ you know...¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± the Burtl grinned. ¡°I wish we had these mother twitchers in the war.¡±

    The squad chuckled and hissed darkly.

    ¡°Now take your box and get lost.¡±

    Am¡¯^ktt grabbed the box and rushed from the room.

    ***

    The next morning Am¡¯^ktt knelt at a small shrine in his sparsely furnished apartment and lit a single stick of incense.

    ¡°I might not be returning, darling,¡± he said to a picture surrounded by a woven grass wreath. ¡°I love you.¡±

    After saying a short prayer, he rose and left.

    ***

    Later, a well-dressed Burtl looked up from her desk as a thin-looking fellow walked into her office.

    She smiled a predatory little smile.

    ¡°Wee,¡± she said cheerfully, ¡°Are you interested in abor contract? We have multiple offerings across the entire Federation!¡±

    ¡°Sh^ev¡¯al,¡± he said quietly, ¡°Do you remember her?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry?¡± the Burtl replied.

    ¡°She came here looking for work, and you ¡®helped¡¯ her.¡±

    ¡°Oh!¡± she said brightly as she reached for her fancy expensive tablet, ¡°Do you want me to check to see if there is a contract with the samepany?¡±

    ¡°She was only sixteen,¡± he said, his voice choking with emotion, ¡°sixteen...¡±

    ¡°Oh, I see,¡± the Burtl said icily, ¡°It is clearly stated in the¡­ AAA¡ª¡°

    Am¡¯^ktt whipped out one set of pipes from underneath his robes, thrust them towards the woman, and viciously mmed them together.

    <strong>BANG</strong>

    She fell from her seat, shredded, and partially disemboweled by explosive buckshot.

    He dropped the pipes and pulled out the other set as he kicked open the doorway leading to the back office¡­

    ***

    Am¡¯^ktt sat chained to a railing set into the wall of an interrogation chamber as two uniformed Burtl walked in.

    One of them set a crude m-fire shotgun on the table in front of him.

    ¡°Where did you get this?¡±

    Am¡¯^ktt simply smiled and said nothing.

    ¡°Perhaps you do not realize the situation you are in,¡± the officer said firmly. ¡°Youmitted two counts of premeditated violence with the intent to kill WITH sessfulpletion. You also used a ss ultimate prohibited destructive device each time. You will hang for this.¡±

    Am¡¯^ktt smiled and said nothing.

    ¡°Who gave you the shot shells?¡± his partner demanded as he mmed his paws on the desk.

    ¡°A <em>saint</em>,¡± Am¡¯^ktt replied. ¡°A kind deliverer of justice.¡±

    He leaned back in the chair.

    ¡°And feel free to hang me,¡± he smiled, ¡°I died the same time my daughter did, and I haveid down my life to ensure that the people responsible will <em>never</em> hurt another parent¡¯s child ever again.¡±

    He smiled once more.

    ¡°It¡¯s a fair trade and one you had better get used to,¡± he said calmly. ¡°It¡¯s only a hundred credits, after all. When one is no longer concerned about future expenses, it¡¯s quite the bargain.¡±

    One of the officers red at him¡­

    The other one, however, gave him a little smile.

    ***

    ¡°There has been another incidence of Terran gun violence,¡± the anchorburtl said that evening, ¡°This time, the uptown office of Gk^los¡¯to Labor Solutions was attacked, resulting in the deaths of Hel^k¡¯sa, the manager of the location, and her Federation associate, a Kaarst named Lagu.¡±

    A slightly blurred image of the crime scene appeared on the screen behind her.

    ¡°One Am¡¯^ktt has imed responsibility for the killings stating that they were retribution for the inhumane treatment and death of his sixteen-year-old daughter.¡±

    Am¡¯^ktt¡¯s peacefully smiling face appeared.

    ¡°Documents found on his person that he ims were copied from theputers at that location strongly imply intentional misrepresentation of the conditions and full terms of thebor agreements issued by Gk^los¡¯to Labor Solutions, in particr those issued on behalf of the Kaarst. Thework has reached out to Gk^los¡¯to, but they have not responded to a request for a statement or interview. The Burtl department ofbor has stated that they are initiating an investigation concerning Am¡¯^ktt¡¯s ims. However, they wish to stress that his actions were deplorable and that he will face the fullest extent of thew.¡±

    The reporter smirked.

    ¡°They also state that his actions werepletely unnecessary and that they take allints seriously and will investigate any and all possible vitions.¡±

    The image changed to a shipping container absolutely packed with ammunition and weapons.

    ¡°In a rted story, a shipping container with several hundred Terran firearms and thousands of rounds of ammunition was seized by the Agency of Arms, Intoxicants, and Luxuries. The intended recipient of the shipment is, at this time, unknown. This state-runwork would like to congratte the brave agents involved in the interdiction of apletely unguarded shipping container and have every confidence that this will stop the flow of weapons into our peaceful and just society...¡±

 Chapter 239: The Paper Tiger, the Prime Minister, and the Snek

    Chapter 239: The Paper Tiger, the Prime Minister, and the Snek

    "All hands stand by for re-entry to normal space," T''sunk''al said nonchntly. Considering the risks of this jump, that was quite the aplishment (or further proof of his insanity).

    "I don''t know about ''normal''," She scoffed as she strapped herself in.

    "Hey, be nice!" Jessie drawled as she hopped into her station on the bridge.

    "Jessie," She faux-snarled, "I fucking <em>warned</em> you about that!"

    "Sorry, ma''am!" Jessie bubbled as she strapped in.

    A few momentster, T¡¯sunk¡¯al announced, ¡°Re-entry in 3¡­ 2¡­ 1¡­ Jump!"

    The entire ship lurched rearward sharply, throwing everyone forward in their seats.

    "Well, that was suboptimal," T''sunk''al said as he rapidly pulled up status disys and initiated diagnostics, "Could have gone worse, though."

    "An actual rough jump?" She smirked, "Are you slipping?"

    "Considering what he just did," Gloria chuckled, "We''re lucky we got here at all. Do you have <em>any</em> idea how hard a jump that was? The nap had a fit!"

    "Yeah," Bunny said happily, "I had to shut it up. ''We''re gonna die! We''re gonna diiiiiiie!''," sheughed. "What a drama queen."

    "Did it actually..." She asked.

    "Of course not!" Bunny snickered, "It''s just a stupid machine. Everybody <em>knows</em> we are incapable of that sort of shit."

    "Surrre you are," She chuckled.

    "Now that is remarkable..." T''sunk''al said as he looked at the main screen.

    On it was a gigantic ice asteroid¡­

    That had been lovingly carved into a giant human head. Its noble visage looked over the void like a guardian angel, its rugged meaty features a beatific image of all that was noble about mankind.

    "Now <em>that''s</em> an idol," Sheloran said in awe.

    "Behold!" Jessie beamed, "The Great Trump, thergest sculpture in the Republic, perhaps anywhere! One of the wonders of the modern gxy¡­ or it would be if anyone actually had the balls toe out here¡­ Pretty cool, huh?"

    "Well, it is made of ice," T''sunk''al said in apletely t, deadpan voice. Only a slight ripple of his remaining eyestalks indicated humor.

    "There''s a whole city in there!" Jessie eximed. "The Trump Freedom Port is <em>awesome</em>! They have museums, shops, rides..."

    "Rides?" Sheloran asked.

    "It''s a fucking theme park," She snickered, "It''s an inbred creationist version of Luna World."

    "It''s <em>better</em> than Luna World!" Jessie chirped. "Way better! Can we go? Can we?"

    "Let''s get the Reaper offloaded and the Tiger hidden," She replied, "after that, I won''t stop you from hopping a ship¡­ like I could actually stop you anyway."

    "Yay!" Jessie shouted.

    "Inbound vessel," a strangely ented voice said in very good Terran, "Goddamn! Y''all came in <em>hawt</em>. Stand by for¡­ Well, I''ll be! You guys are popr, ain''tcha?"

    "Jes'' a littl'' bit," Jessie called out. "You ain''t ''fraid of us droppin'' by, are ya?"

    "Hell naw!" the voice replied, "We ain''t afraid of sheet! You want a berth?"

    "Nah," Jessie called out, "We got somece to go already!"

    "Where ya headed?"

    "Bannon," Jessie chirped. "Y''all have their current location and vector?"

    "Sheet," the voice replied, "Y''all goin'' way out in tha ''bergs, ain''tcha? Ain''t nobody is gonna find ya out dere."

    "Dat''s kinda da n," Jessie chirped. "Actually, we ain''t even going to Bannon. We''re actually going¡ª"

    Jessie fell silent as a fortunately empty coffee mug hit her chair inches from her head.

    "We''re goin'' to Bannon! Yep! Bannon! That''s where we''re goin''!"

    "ughter) Well, enjoy ''Bannon'' den. Stand by for transmission."

    ***

    Roughly a light year away, Admiral Pierce walked into a conference room.

    "You said that we found them?" the Prime Minister asked.

    "We did," he said. "Roughly thirty minutes ago, the <em>Paper Tiger</em> jumped into the Sol system¡­ technically¡­ They re-entered normal space one thousand kilometers from The Great Trump.

    "Oh, Jesus Christ," the Prime Minister grumbled. "How did they get past our blockade? You were supposed to have that handled!"

    "Oh, our blockade is fine," the admiral chuckled, "They skipped it."

    "Skipped it?"

    "Our sources say that the re they threw indicated a lot of energy, far more than a system jump. They actually jumped from quite some distance away, <em>quite</em> some distance."

    "They hit MAGA space from <em>outside</em> the system?!?" another admiral spluttered." <em>How?!?</em> Do¡­ do we have a <em>leak?"</em>

    "A leak?" the Prime Minister asked, her eyebrows raised.

    "It''s ssified to the point it has been left out of your briefings," Admiral Pierce said calmly, "but we have been working on¡­ options¡­ as far as hyperspace capacities are concerned. Even so, our best ships would be hard-pressed to hit that target from as far out as they did."

    "If you knew it was possible," the Prime Minister demanded, "Then why weren''t contingencies in ce?"

    "Because it is only possible for a rare few vessels," the admiral replied, "and it requires a dedicated monolith, something that the Paper Tiger is obviously not in possession of. Besides, considering the range of the jump, we would have had to blockade <em>dozens</em> of star systems, if not more. The only way we could have stopped this is to have a presence <em>at</em> the Great Trump itself..."

    The admiral smirked.

    "If you would like, I will send a task force immediately. I''m sure we could still catch them."

    The Prime Minister glowered at him.

    "Don''t be a smartass," she snapped. "Ugh¡­ So..."

    She leaned back and closed her eyes.

    "So those assholes have ultimate mobility on top of an advancedbat craft, and Lord only knows how many nukes¡­ <em>Perfect</em>..."

    "And don''t forget the frog," the woman in the green zer added "helpfully", earning her quite the look.

    "Do you think she is somehow behind their enhanced hyperspace capacity?"

    "Actually," Admiral Pierce said, "No."

    He clicked a small control in his hand, and an image of T''sunk''al''s scarred face appeared.

    "This is a Z''uush named T''sunk''al and now part of their crew," the admiral said. "He is a hero of the Z''uush insurgency and their top astrogator. In fact, it is said that he void-jumped to avoid Federation blockades <em>on a regr basis</em> in only a hastily converted ore carrier."

    "That''s <em>impossible!</em> A naval captain interjected.

    "Until a few minutes ago," Admiral Pierce replied, "I would have agreed with you. However, the jump they just made was a void jump in all but name. Also, one of the wilder theories concerning their piracy of <em>The White Star</em> was that it jumped into the void while they processed the ''kill'' and only returned to normal space when they were ready to make good their escape. This was, of course, disregarded at the time, but..."

    The admiral shrugged.

    "It would exin a LOT. All of our projections concerning the <em>Paper Tiger</em> have been based on the nominal jump range of what we <em>think</em> is its current configuration. If they have a way of extending that range, then there is no surprise that we have never been able to catch them. We''ve been searching a building when we should have been searching a whole continent."

    "Oh fuck me," the Prime Minister groaned. "Let''s assume, for now, that they can void jump. How does that change things?"

    "It means we have the same chance of catching the <em>Paper Tiger</em> as we do shooting down Lieutenant Samuels," Admiral Pierce chuckled. "Ma''am, they simply have us outssed. Advanced ships, advanced techniques, advanced weapons..."

    He shook his head.

    "We''re trying to catch a shrike with bines out there."

    "We have them t-footed!" a woman wearing a grey suit eximed, "Let''s just jump in there and get them!"

    Everyone looked at her like she just dropped her pants and took a shit on the floor.

    "Exactly who the fuck are you?" the Prime Minister snarled, "You know what, I don''t even want to know. Get out."

    <em>"Prime Minister?!?"</em>

    "You are either woefully stupid or impossibly ignorant," she snapped, "Either way, you don''t need to be here sucking up my oxygen. Leave. Now."

    Several people looked at each other in confusion.

    "Prime minister," Glenn Maxwell, the head of Republic Intelligence, said with a slightly goofy grin as he stood up, "Perhaps it would be worth a few moments to enlighten the children concerning our lovely friends out in the Oort cloud?"

    "Make it quick," the Prime Minister sighed, "just so nobody decides this is the perfect moment to show some initiative and really put us in the shit."

    "Thank you," Glenn said as he chuckled pleasantly, "The group known as the MAGAs is one of the oldest andrgest of the Kuiper ns. Even we have no idea how numerous they are. They are also in possession of arge trove of Old-Earth weapons, especially artillery pieces, most of which they constructed themselves. "Just jumping in there would be surprisingly messy. We could do it, of course, but those guns are the least of our problems."

    Glenn blinked. What was he saying again? Oh, that''s right.

    "The MAGAs were already established out in the void as other Kuipers arrived. When they had problems, the MAGAs were likely the ones who came to their aid. In fact, MAGA ''Void Angels'' still patrol a lot of the cold dark and are often the ones who respond to distress calls. Just about everyone out there holds them in very high regard and owes them more than a few favors. They also are one of the primary food producers for the outer sr system, and their region of space is considered ''civilization'' for a lot of those tribes. They are also a cultural and religious power. We piss off the MAGAs, and we piss off every single Christian Kuiper in the system."

    He paused and tried to collect his thoughts again. Maybe he needed more sleep?

    "Not only that, but the MAGAs have very close ties with the Caliphate, the other dominant force in the Oort cloud. We hit MAGA, and the Caliphate will view it as an attack on an ally and a direct threat to their sovereignty. We piss off the Caliphate, and we then piss off every single Muslim in the cold dark¡­ Do you see where I''m going here? If we go after them in MAGA space, we risk losing <em>everything</em> from Neptune on out, possibly triggering a nasty insurgency, and there is even a more distressing possibility."

    He coughed. He knew there was something worse. What was it? Oh, that''s right!

    "A lot of MAGA stations are <em>mobile</em>. We believe that a lot of them are even hyperspace capable. Same goes for a lot of Kuipers. If we start shit, we risk triggering a mass migration of those groups out into the gxy atrge. Consider the cold dark as a¡­ a ''cyst''¡­ It''s perfectly safe as long as we don''t go poking at it. We fuck up and poke it, and we risk releasing a human ''infection'' into not only our territory but into the gxy atrge. It could cause yet another human poption in the gxy, and we have enough trouble with the Porkies and the Weebs as it is. The <em>only</em> thing keeping a lot of them in ce is an inherent mistrust of hyperspace that is prevalent in their culture. We push them out of theirfort zone enough that they get over it, and we risk a diaspora of some of the most radical cultures that humanity has ever produced¡­ a <em>very well-armed</em> diaspora. We don''t publicly discuss this save at the highest levels, the level that <em>should</em> be in this room, but it is a very serious concern. Another thing we do not mention is exactly how numerous those people are. We honestly have no firm count, but the real numbers are much, much higher than we let on. Remember, most of them were NOT depopted by the Sol Wars."

    Glen put his hand on the woman''s shoulder.

    "There aren''t thousands of Kuipers. There are <em>millions</em>. Like it or not, the Paper Tiger is safe until they leave MAGA space¡­ and they will just jump out of the system when they leave. It''s why we were putting forth so much effort to keep them from getting there in the first ce. It''s literally one of the only ces we can''t touch, and it''s right here in our own system."

    Glennughed a heartyugh.

    "It''s really funny if you think about it."

    He continued tough to the point that everyone started looking at him strangely.

    "Okay, Glenn, that''s enough," the Prime Minister said. "So, just in case anyone was not aware, any action while they are in MAGA space is not possible. The only thing we can do is use what few agents we have to collect intelligence, and that is it. I don''t even want a covert op. One stray round hits one MAGA, and there will be hell to pay. We leave those¡­ <em>people</em>¡­ alone, and they leave us alone. That''s how everyone wants it, and that''s how it''s going to be. We have enough shit to deal with."

    She looked at Glenn, who was just standing there, slightly dazed, with that goofy grin that was bing his new trademark.

    "Glenn, you can sit down now."

    "Oh, right," Glenn Maxwell said as he seemed to return to reality. "Sorry."

    He sat back down. He was really tired. Maybe he could take a nap, and nobody would notice? He liked naps.

    "We know that Samuels''s ship took significant damage," the Prime Minister said. "I can only assume that they will try to repair it. It is one of the only reasons to risk a return to Sol. That jump couldn''t have been without risk. Have we located Janustec?"

    "Unfortunately, no," Glenn Maxwell said. "Um¡­ Jenni?"

    The same woman who had made the rather unfortunate suggestion rose.

    "As of now, Janustec is still atrge," she replied, "We do not have hard confirmation of any specific location, but we did intercept a series of coded messages using advanced cyphers and distributed routing through the dar. We only recently could fully decrypt them, but it is confirmed that they were an exchange between Esmeralda Martinez and Caleb Gustav, one of her more¡­ dubious contractors. While we could decrypt the messages, tracing the routing has not been possible."

    She smiled triumphantly.

    "However, careful analysis of, forck of a better word, ''noise'' in the packets strongly implies a Martian origin, which would make perfect sense."

    "And another ce we have trouble moving," the Prime Minister scowled. "Goddamn Martin... I fucking knew it!"

    "If he has given them shelter," the woman said, "then we could invade, take the whole, do a house-to-house search, and still not find them. There are simply too many tunnels and mines under the surface. The Samuels could put them in an old chamber somewhere, and we''ll never find them."

    "So they got away, too," the Prime Minister scowled. "And once again, they didn''t even need to leave the system."

    She sighed.

    "So what was Esmeralda talking about?"

    "She was concerned about the fate of a xeno named Jeruzz," the woman replied. "They were someone that she hired on the day of their escape to maintain the illusion that they were not fleeing. It bought them the time they needed to disappear. She seemed to be genuinely concerned about the guy. Anyway, she was informed that he was okay. Strangely enough, Mr. Gustav was quite put out about her treatment of the xeno, a male Keth."

    "Maybe there is more to this than there appears," the Prime Minister mused. "What do we know about this Jeruzz character."

    "Not a whole lot," the woman replied, "The Keth are a Federation species of little significance, and the conditions there are such that some try to leave and seek better conditions elsewhere even though they aren''t terribly well equipped for it. We have a small poption of them fairly evenly distributed across the. While social, the ones who leave tend to be solitary for some reason, with one notable exception."

    She paused to chuckle.

    "An entire family of Keth has settled in Southern Italy, where they have opened a restaurant," she said, trying not tough.

    "And this is amusing?"

    "A holographic image of a review site appeared."

    <em>I had to wait over an hour before the only server in the entire establishment finally brought me a ss of water of dubious cleanliness and tried to take my order without me ever being given a menu. A fire broke out in the kitchen while my meal was being prepared, causing smoke to fill the dining area. Despite the mes, my meal was still cold when it was finally served, and they got my order wrong. When Iined, the server said, and I quote, "Just try it. It''s really good, I promise." When I thenined that it was cold, the server SHOVED THEIR TONGUE INTO MY FOOD and agreed with me. She took the te back to the kitchen, where I swear it was just microwaved or something because when it came back, her tongue prints were still visible in my entree! About this time, some sort of screaming match broke out in the kitchen, and my server rushed away before I could recover from the shock.</em>

    <em>By this time, I was starving and started nibbling on the parts of my meal that she hadn''t french-kissed, and¡­ it was delicious! It was so good that I forgot that she had tongued my food until after I had consumed that portion¡­ so I guess I just made out with a space snake¡­</em>

    <em>My meal was further interrupted by the same server, now covered with soot and some sort of grease that I suspect was not food rted, when she handed me a jar of olives and asked if I could open it for her¡­ Just in time for what I suspect was another fire...</em>

    <em>10/10! Five stars! You just HAVE to go here! They are so nice! I have returned several times, and¡­ this was about as smoothly as a meal service ever went, so don''t go if you are in a hurry or if you are set on any particr dish, but everything is great, so who cares!</em>

    Attached were images of mes, fleeing, screaming snakes, confused staff eating food off people''s tes, and other assorted chaos.

    "Oh my God," the Prime Ministerughed.

    "They have review after review, just like this one," the agent replied. "Surprisingly, they are a very popr establishment with the locals who rmend just ordering ''a meal'' and eating whateveres out. Themon theme is that they truly suck at running a restaurant but are so nice that people can''t help but like them¡­ and the food is actually quite good. They seem to have be the local mascots, and everyone just loves them and their restaurant."

    "And there is a whole of these?" the Prime Minister asked, "And they haven''t gone extinct? I''m not buying it. Nothing is that¡­ <em>that.</em> This Jeruzz is likely much more capable and much more involved than he appears. One of these dingbats sessfully concealing the movements of an entire organization? I have to call bullshit. Bring him in and make him talk."

    The agent winced.

    "What?" the Prime Minister said, "Why can''t we do that?"

    "Well..." the agent said reluctantly, "It turns out that Mr. Gustav was not the only one of the Janustec contractors who felt bad for the snake. After he was questioned and released by Interpol, he was given a job by Gavin Richardson."

    "Richardson..." the Prime Minister said, "Why does that name sound familiar."

    "They are a family of weaponsmiths hailing from The First Nations," the agent replied.

    "Doreen!" the Prime Minister eximed, "That old gunrunner..."

    "She is Gavin Richardson''s grandmother," the agent replied, "and they are both part of the Cherokee Nation¡­"

    The agent coughed.

    "While Jeruzz''s actual job performance was¡­ <em>amazingly bad</em>¡­ everybody liked him so much they got him actual Cherokee citizenship¡­ And as you know, they are <em>very</em> protective of their people."

    "Well, go and pay a <em>polite</em> visit to this Jeruzz and <em>nicely</em> chat with him and see what you can find out," the Prime Minister said as she facepalmed. "You guys <em>can</em> do that, can''t you? Interrogate someone without strapping them to a chair?"

    "Yes, Prime Minister."

    "Great. Do that then," the Prime Minister said. "and put eyes on him. Find out everywhere he goes, everything he does, and everyone he speaks to. What else do we know about him? Is he unusual as far as these Keth go?"

    "As a matter of fact," the agent replied, "he is. Initial reports indicate some very unusual behavior rtive to his species. Among other things, he can win a one-on-one fight, unarmed, against a golden eagle ande out of it mostly unscathed. That is an achievement for even a human. He ate it, by the way. He also¡­ get this¡­ he also has a <em>human</em> girlfriend."

    "Say what now?"

    "A very happy one at that," the agent replied. "Apparently, he ''really tickles her fancy'' if you know what I mean."

    "What do we know about her?"

    "There really isn''t much to know," the agent shrugged, "She is one of ''the lost children'', a high-school dropout, and <em>nominally</em> a Gia. I can''t believe I''m saying this, but Jeruzz could do much better. We''ve run her numbers every way they can be run, and she is exactly what she appears to be, a pot-smoking dropout who pretends to be an artist."

    "Nothing wrong with the herb, dear," the Prime Minister replied. "Put eyes on her as well. Not many people are that singrly unremarkable."

    "She is already being monitored," the agent replied, "at this time, we feel that actual human intelligence is not required. We do have a team on the Keth, though."

    "Well, I''m not one to micro-manage," the Prime Minister said, causing most of the senior members of that room to look at her in surprise and Glenn Maxwell to burst outughing. "I shall leave it to your agency," the Prime Minister said, ignoring Glenn and the others.

    ***

    Halfway across the globe, Jeruzz was happily slithering alongside Syd. They turned a lot of heads at first, but it didn''t take long for Jeruzz to be just another member of the neighborhood.

    He was funny looking, but he was just so darn nice!

    Not that far away, a delivery van was innocently parked on the street.

    "Just kill me!" a human woman groaned. "If I hear one more conversation about what kind of apples they are going to buy, I am going to fucking lose it!"

    "At least they''ve stopped talking about Harold Potmaker," the Kalesha sitting next to her replied, "I''m actually starting to have an <em>opinion</em> about what house Jeruzz should be sorted into!"

    They bothughed.

    "And now they''re window shopping again," the human groaned. "Just fucking buy the dress already! Jesus!"

    "She does have a point about the color, though," the Kalesha replied. "I''m not sure it goes with her hair either."

    "Are you listening to yourself right now?" the human replied.

    "I''m just saying," the Kalesha replied, "She needs to change her highlights to really pull that look off, and that would throw the rest of her wardrobe into chaos."

    "I''m starting to think they are on to us," the human said after a few moments, "They know we are watching them, and this is all some <em>sick</em> psyops bullshit to break us. We are being waterboarded with banality!"

    She looked at the screens.

    "Oh, for fuck''s sake!" the human shouted, "Just let him buy your goddamn coffee! He made more than I did this week! Fuck!"

    "Hey," the Kalesha replied, "She has her pride, and she doesn''t want Jeruzz to think she is just using him for his wallet."

    "There is no way Jeruzz would think that!" the human replied. "He adores her, God knows why, and his mind doesn''t think that way. He''s just too trusting for his own good."

    "Why wouldn''t he be?" the Kalesha replied, "In his little universe, people <em>do</em> treat him fairly and <em>are</em> actually nice. It''s like he just keeps¡­ falling backwards into money, pussy, and good people. I would really hate him¡­ if I could."

    "And now they are cuddling again," the human said with annoyance and just a <em>touch</em> of wistful longing.

    Why couldn''t she get a great guy like that?

 Chapter 240: Bannon Station and Death by a Thousand Thaps

    Chapter 240: Bannon Station and Death by a Thousand Thaps

    "This is Bannon Station," a female said in crisp, perfect Terran, "Be advised that you are within range of our weapons. State your business."

    "Hospitable cousin-fuckers aren''t they?" Mike muttered from his station. Turns out that he had cross-trained in electronic warfare once he got out, a pleasant little surprise. The <em>Paper Tiger</em> didn''t have mounted weapons, but it did have¡­ options¡­ when it came to defense.

    "Hey y''aw," Jessie, their resident MAGA whisperer, drawled happily, "Wedee <em>Paper Tiger</em>. Y''aw kno wein''?"

    "(sigh) Stand by for confirmation," the female said wearily. "¡­ Identity and credentials confirmed. Wee, <em>Paper Tiger</em>. Please proceed to docking bay six, berth four. One individual will debark, unarmed, and await a security team."

    "Yew got it, sistah," Jessie giggled. She loved talking like this.

    "You are really enjoying yourself, aren''t you, grav-butt?"

    "Yew kno eet!"

    "(sigh) Just go to your berth, you curved-space addled moron," the woman said with apparent amusement. "Wait¡­ you wouldn''t happen to be Jessie-Bug from da'' Lobby, would you?"

    "(giggle) Guilty as charged, ma''am!" Jessie drawled.

    "Wel'' sheet!" the woman eximed. "Git on in here, gurl!¡­ Hey y''all!" she yelled, her voice a bit more distant, "You''ll never guess who jes'' showed up!"

    The transmission ended.

    "Something you would like to share with us?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow, "...'' Jessie-Bug''?"

    "Um..." Jessie giggled, "I might have had just a little bit of a reputation back in the day¡­ for being a good upstanding citizen, of course."

    "Of course..."

    "Um, guys," T''sunk''al inquired as he slowly started to elerate the ship, "Is Bannon Station rotating for the reason I think it is?"

    "If that reason is that they are a pack of technologically regressed hicks that believe that artificial gravity is literally the devil''s work," She replied, "Then yes."

    "Interesting," T''sunk''al said as he matched the station''s rotation. "We had simr concerns shortly after first contact. It wasn''t from a theological perspective, but more than one skeptic had concerns about the graviton fields generated by the gravity generator and how they would interact with¡­ things¡­ Of course, that faded quickly."

    "That''s the thing about these guys," She smirked, "Nothing fades¡­ ever."

    "If it works, it works," T''sunk''al click-shrugged, "Makes docking a bit tricky but not overly so¡­ They aren''t going to make us switch off our gravity, are they?"

    "No," She replied, "but most of them won''t get anywhere near our ship until we do."

    "Well, that''s convenient."

    ***

    About an hourter (T''sunk''al found docking a bit trickier than he initially believed), She lounged against the side of a sign that said, "No gravity beyond this point."

    Two humans dressed in old-stylebat fatigues and te carriers "flew" up using ducted fans mounted on the backs of their uniforms.

    "Wee to Bannon," one of them said with a smile as his boots stuck to the deck te with a loud ng.

    "Real thrilled to be here," She said pleasantly.

    "Your friends arrived two days ago," he said. "I have their hotel location right here. They say that they got you all rooms."

    He handed She a semi-disposable datacard.

    "Thanks," She replied as she epted the card, "Nice of them."

    "You offloading anything?" he asked.

    "Only one med-pod," She replied. "We have someone waiting on a set of lungs. d to get rid of her. She''s starting to smell funny."

    The officer chuckled.

    "Are the organs here?"

    "Yep," She replied, "They are waiting at Powell Memorial. Got confirmation an hour ago."

    "Sweet," the officer replied and then smiled. "I just have to say," he continued, "We''re tickled to have you guys drop by. Tell me, is ''The Revenant'' with you?"

    "I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of one of the deadliestbat pilots to ever draw a breath on board our vessel," She smiled.

    "Well, if she is, tell her to drop by Stars and Bars. There are a whole lot of people who would like to buy her a drink¡­ goes for the rest of you as well!"

    "I think we could make that happen," She smiled. "Been a while since I''ve had some proper void-gin."

    "Well, you''ll find nock of that here," the officer grinned. "Oh, an'' we need to see Jessie-Bug."

    She narrowed her eyes.

    "Is she in some sort of trouble?" she asked, "It wouldn''t be the first time."

    "Naw," the officer replied,psing into his ent for a moment, "We just need to exin a few things to her about what she can and can <em>not</em> have on her while she is here. She¡­ well..."

    "Has a reputation?"

    The officer just grinned.

    "What the fuck did she do?" She asked wearily.

    "It would be easier to say what she didn''t do," the officer chuckled, "but I ain''t no snitch. You''ll have to ask her."

    "Oh, Jessie-Bug..." She said with a musical note in her voice, "Some nice security officers want to have a little chat with you..."

    ***

    "Say ''thap'' one more time..." Agent Andrea Liang hissed as she sat in the "innocent delivery van". "I fucking <em>dare</em> you."

    "Thap, thap, thap¡­ thap thap..." a cheerful voice lisped over the speakers.

    "I''m going to kill him," she said, "This <em>has</em> to be psyops. It would be self-defense, right?"

    "Hmm?" Agent Vashtona asked as she looked up from her tablet.

    "That goddamn snake is driving me <em>crazy!</em>" Agent Liang moaned, "He''s been ''thapping'' for fucking <em>hours</em>."

    "Yes," Agent Vashtona replied as she looked through the "eyes" of a fly-like micro drone. "But you have to admit, it is pretty."

    "I don''t fucking care if it''s pretty!" Agent Liang growled, "He says ''thap'' every time that dinky little hammer falls!¡­ Every. Fucking. Time!"

    "You can switch off the speaker, you know. Switch to captions."

    "And then the second I do, he spoofs the AI and actually discusses whatever the fuck we have been sent here to catch!" Agent Liang grumbled, "Human intelligence is just that, <em>human</em>¡­ or sapient¡­ you know what I mean."

    "Mmm Hmm," Agent Vashtona replied, ncing back down at her tablet. "You need to be relieved?"

    "No," Agent Liang sighed miserably. "¡­What are you reading anyway?"

    "Harold Potmaker," Agent Vashtona replied, "I don''t think Jeruzz is a Pufflehuff after all. Just saying."

    "What do you mean he''s not a Pufflehuff?!?" Agent Liang eximed, never taking her eyes off of the video feed, "He''s the biggest puffle to have ever huffed!"

    "Maybe if he had stayed home," Agent Vashtona replied as she opened a water bottle. "But he didn''t. When his father died from throat cancer, like everyone else in his job does, and his sister had to take a job in that <em>horrible</em> ce, he didn''t just hug her. No. What did he do? He hopped on board a ship with no training, no certificate, not even any real possessions, basically just his skin, and made it halfway across known space¡­ somehow¡­ That took courage, real courage."

    "Yeah," Agent Liang replied, "but it was motivated by love for his family."

    "And?" Vashtona replied, "You''re saying the Griffinderps don''t love their families?"

    "You <em>can''t</em> be saying that he''s a Griffinderp!" Liang eximed, "No fucking way!"

    "And then there''s his ambition to consider," Agent Vashtona continued. "He has plenty of it. He''s going to get his whole family over here and set them up nice, real nice. Resourcefulness? He made it halfway across known space with only the shirt on his back. Correction. He didn''t even have a shirt."

    "I''m going to need a urine sample," Agent Liang scoffed.

    "And then there is his cunning," Agent Vashtona said, "he brought down a fucking <em>Golden Eagle</em>, not to mention all of the other animals he''s hunted basically bare-handed. We haven''t seen him hunt yet, but I <em>bet</em> we are going to see plenty of cunning when we do."

    "You''re just saying that because he''s a snake," Agent Liang said dismissively, "and he''s green. It''s too fucking obvious."

    "You mean as obvious as the fact that he''s exactly what he looks like,pletely innocent, and this is aplete waste of our fucking time?" Agent Vashtona retorted, "Obvious doesn''t mean that it''s wrong."

    "Well, what about ''leadership'' then, oh great sorting twat," Agent Liang sneered, still looking at the monitors.

    "You mean like the fact that Syd is, with his encouragement and support, actually starting to draw again? You mean like how his brother is now doing better in school after he told him about all the opportunities he would have if he could get his certificate, the very same opportunities that Jeruzz ripped from the universe itself with his bare hands for them¡­ and <em>he doesn''t even have hands!</em>¡­ You can be as nice as Jeruzz and be a leader, you know."

    "Oh. My. God," Agent Liang said. "Do you realize we are <em>actually</em> debating whether that goddamn snake is a fucking Slithergrab? Do you? He''s done it. He has <em>actually</em> driven me insane."

    "Thap thap thap thap thap thap..."

    "Aaarrrgh!"

    "Hey! I''m trying to read!"

    ***

    The crew walked down a deceptively normal looking city street as people smiled and nodded pleasantly at them.

    "Interesting," T''sunk''al said as he bounced up and down slightly, "It feels just like normal gravity."

    "''Downward'' eleration is downward eleration," The Chief replied, "Even if it isteral eleration outward. Once you get out here to the rings, you can''t tell the difference."

    "Their energy costs must be a fraction of an equivalent-sized traditional structure!" T''sunk''al eximed. "Once you got the station spinning, it would require only what it takes to offset any incidental eleration caused by iing ships and other misceneous sources."

    "Yeah," She replied, "But only one distance from the center has the right ''gravity''. Go further out, and it gets higher. Go further in, and it gets lower. They have to build it huge for the same working space."

    "Well," T''sunk''al replied, "space is huge, and iron is cheap. They also gain the benefits of both low gravity and high gravity for manufacturing processes¡­ I think this is actually superior in a way."

    "Oh, be quiet," She chuckled.

    "Bess!" a woman''s voice twanged, "No!"

    A small girl rushed up to T''sunk''al.

    "Watryew?" she asked as she looked up at him with big, blue eyes.

    "Water you?" T''sunk''al asked,pletely confused.

    "Hez a Z''uush!" Jessie eximed as the girl''s mother rushed up, quite concerned.

    "She was askin'' what you were," Jessie said to T''sunk''al.

    "Uloukliekabug!"

    "She says you look like a bug," Jessie giggled.

    "Tell her that I''m a friendly one?"

    "Ohmi starz," the blond-haired woman wearing blue jeans and a button-down shirt said as she ran up, "I''m <em>sew</em> sorri!"

    "Oh, it''s okay," T''sunk''al replied.

    "HiImGeorgia!" the woman said as she extended her hand towards T''sunk''al.

    "My name is T''sunk''al," he replied, gently shaking her hand.

    "Eeeww!" the little girl eximed, "Mommatecheda buuuug!"

    ¡°Bess!¡± the woman chided, ¡°Now benince! It jes¡¯ looksliekabug. We tokkedboutdis. Now saiyersorri.¡±

    "Imsorri," the little girl said as she looked down.

    "Itz a zeener," the woman said to her child, "Nawta bug. Dey mite lookdiff''rent but dey God''s chidren, too."

    The woman looked at T''sunk''al with warm, friendly eyes.

    "Hello," Shelia said with a heavily exaggerated Terran ent as she extended her hand, "My name is Shelia, <em>fresh from Terra</em>. Nice to meet¡ª"

    "Sorriteh hav troubledew," the woman said icily, not taking She''s hand, "Common, Bess!"

    The woman quickly dragged her girl away, muttering some very "unchristian" things as she did so.

    "And there it is," She grinned.

    "Now, be nice!" Jessie said as she looked at She disapprovingly.

 Chapter 241: Interesting Times

    Chapter 241: Interesting Times

    Hgedr gently brushed a thin blue substance on what appeared to be a small pinion rack and sighed happily through his four nostril slits.

    He was getting close topleting the lock, his favorite part of the process.

    Once the bluing had dried, he set it into ce in a mechanism held in a delicate vise on his bench.

    He firmly passed the rack back and forth, allowing it to mesh with its pinion.

    He chuffed with satisfaction. It finally ran smoothly, and it felt near satisfactory.

    He removed it again, and with the vestigial prehensile feelers on the side of his head that once allowed his kind to feel their way through the murkykes and pools that were once their habitat, he pulled down one of several lenses over his fore-eyes.

    He peered carefully at the rack as he reached for a small, carefully shaped piece of stone. Letting the stone do the work, he passed the stone through some of the teeth, gently stroking them.

    He hummed a deep rumble as he did so, his tail swishing happily.

    He loved this part.

    As the shadows lengthened, he finally set down the stone and reapplied the bluing.

    The door opened and Vkah, his wife of forty years, walked in wearing the quilted robe he hadmissioned for her as an anniversary present five years ago.

    He raised his upper lip in a smile.

    "Quitting time was three hours ago," she said firmly. "It''s stew, so it isn''t cold, but it still wants for eating, and I still want forpany."

    She ambled up and looked at the device in the vice.

    "Looks like you are making fine progress," she smiled,ying her tail on his. "That certainly some fine brass as well."

    "Good brass is getting harder to find each year," Hgedr said as he hauled himself out of his work-sling. "For all that Federation has and all that they create," he snort-chuckled, "you would think they could produce decent brass. I don''t know what I will do when old Cjd finally retires. You know his sons actually abandoned the business? They have been running that smelting foundry for over three hundred years!"

    "You <em>may</em> have mentioned it once or twice," Vkah snorted, "Come on, old man. You can tell me all about it, again, over stew."

    ***

    The next day Hgedr, a ceramic mug of legaz in his hands, carefully examined a wooden stock mounted in a device almost exactly like a checkering cradle.

    He chuffed with satisfaction.

    The boy wasing along well.

    Speaking of, where was the little turd? He had wanted him to see the lock before he assembled it. The boy had been really looking forward to it.

    He shrugged as he returned to his workbench. In his day, an apprentice would live with his master as they should. Their "family" was the craft. It was considered an honor. Now, he was lucky to get half a day out of the child.

    It didn''t really matter all that much. It wasn''t like he was exactly backed up with work these days. He didn''t need the apprentice forbor. He just wished to pass along the craft, which he could do one half-day at a time.

    It was far more time than his master could spare for him.

    He started carefully examining theponents of the lock assembly. It was nowhere near asplicated as a fine clock, but they had to be much more sturdy and every bit as precise.

    He sipped his now cold legaz as he worked, happily lost in the finish of that pinion rack that he <em>finally</em> managed to fit properly.

    The door to his workshop opened.

    "Took your time, boy," he chuffed with more irritation than he felt. "You almost missed..."

    "Husband..." Vkah said quietly.

    He flipped the magnifier away from his eyes and looked up, blinking.

    <em>Something was wrong.</em>

    "What is it?"

    ¡°Jezah, Ulgatr¡¯s mother is here.¡±

    "Hearthfire!" Hgedr eximed, "Did something happen to the boy?"

    "Not exactly," Vkah chuffed heavily. "You¡­ You need to talk to her."

    ***

    "What do you mean that I''m ''distracting him from his studies''?!?" Hgedr shouted, "I <em>am</em> his studies!"

    "Not anymore." Jezah replied forcefully, "As of today, he is being enrolled in the Ak''lun Academic Excellence Program full-time."

    "You can''t be serious!" Hgedr eximed, "You and your fool of a husband are robbing your son of his future!"

    "The Bhje''taz and the Ak''lun Corporation <em>are</em> the future," Jezah replied, "and you know it."

    "A future of what?!?" Hgedr shouted. "Are they going to give your boy a trade? No. All they will do is teach him exactly what they want him to do and nothing more! He will have no future outside of them!"

    "As opposed to having a future with you?" Jezah replied, "At least he will have a reliable ie, and benefits, and retirement¡­"

    She sighed.

    "Look, Hgedr," she said, "everything is different now. I have to think about what is best for Ulgatr and what will be best for him after we both are gone."

    "A <em>trade</em> is what is best for the boy," Hgedr replied earnestly, "Look¡­ I know that my guns and rifles don''t¡­"

    He sighed.

    "They don''t sell like they used to," he continued. "I know that someone can buy something cheaper, and I''ll die before I say better, but..."

    He winced.

    "But I will say that there are things that have better range¡­ <em>maybe</em> or are lighter or more¡­ more..."

    He stopped. He just couldn''t continue.

    "And I understand if you don''t have confidence in my trade," he said as the soul left his body, "¡­ my¡­ my skills¡­ my¡­ business..."

    He looked down and fell silent.

    "Husband..." Vkah said quietly.

    He looked up.

    "But, <em>please</em>, don''t send him <em>there!"</em> Hgedr said, all of his eyes moist with tears, "There are still trades¡­ good trades¡­ I¡­ I <em>know people</em>! I can get your boy in with a jeweler, or a watchmaker, or a tinsmith... or a cooper! Your boy is <em>exceptional</em>, Jezah. He can go anywhere!"

    "I know," Jezah replied, "and he''s going to the Academic Excellence Program. He tested quite well, Hgedr, quite well. He''s been selected for the applied science program. He''s going to be one of their <em>technicians</em>, Hgedr¡­ a <em>technician</em>! Do you realize what an opportunity that is?"

    Jezah smiled weakly.

    "He says it was because of you," she said quietly, "he says that it was what you taught him here about measurement and angles and maths and other things that made him test so well. It''s a dry thing for my thanks to be taking him away, but it''s a dry world now..."

    She looked down.

    "I¡­ I must go..." she said as she turned to leave. "This brings me no pleasure, Hgedr. It truly doesn''t. I just wished to say it to your face with living words and not over themunicator."

    "¡­Thank you for that, Jezah," he said quietly.

    "Goodbye, Hgedr."

    "Goodbye," he replied as Jezah, his apprentice, and a great more besides, just walked away.

    "Oh, husband," Vkah gushed as she rushed over to hold him.

    He slumped into her arms, deeply wounded, for a moment.

    "Well," he chuffed. "No sense waiting on the boy. I need to get that lock together before the dust gets in. I still have at least one order to get out."

    "Well, get to it, then," Vkah smiled.

    After he left, she dropped to the floor, wrapped her tail around her face, and wept.

    ***

    In his shop, Hgedr numbly put the final touches on the finished project, a fine breech loading wheel-lock bush-rifle.

    It was quite possibly some of his finest work. It was not the prettiest gun he had ever made, but where it mattered, it was near perfection.

    He sighed. The boy was so looking forward to firing it¡­ And he was looking forward to teaching him how to shoot. He and Vkah never were able to have a child of their own, and he¡­

    He blinked back tears.

    No. The boy was <em>never</em> his, or <em>like his</em>, or anything of the sort. He was just an apprentice, that''s all.

    cing the rifle in its carrying case, he turned his attention to a row of cast lead rods.

    He ced each into a swaging die and started the process of making bullets worthy of the weapon they would be fired from. But, unlikest time, and the time before, and the time before that, there was no joy in the act.

    There was only a deep sadness that he had never felt before.

    His was a dying art, and he was thest master of a line of masters and apprentices that stretched back to the first sh of crude serpentine and beyond. Before that, they were cksmiths. Before that, they worked bronze. Before that, they worked copper. Before that, stone.

    Thousands of years¡­

    For thousands of years, a candle had been carried, lit by those who came before, and lighting the ones carried by those who followed.

    But¡­ there was no candle awaiting his anymore.

    The me was going to die¡­

    And for what, shing lights and glowing screens sold to them from afar? Cheaply made garbage that took every copper¡­ no¡­ every <em>credit</em> spent for that trash out of themunity and out of the pockets of his people forever?

    The rich were getting richer, and the poor were getting poorer. And people like him, the tradesmen and merchants of the middle ss? They were as doomed as the me of knowledge that guttered in his aging hands. Soon, they would be gone, reced by yet another Gods damned "Ak''lun Market".

    He didn''t even have an order after this one. How long was it going to be before the next?

    Would there even be a next?

    He sighed and looked down at the two score of bullets before him.

    Numb, he went through the motions of weighing out forty charges of powder.

    ***

    "You didn''t have toe with me, you know," Hgedr said to his wife as their stloop-drawn carriage rolled down a country path.

    "Nonsense," Vkah replied as she yfully swatted his leg with her tail. "I felt like a nice ride and always have enjoyed watching you shoot."

    She looked slyly over at him.

    "It sets me all unsettled," she purred, "My dashing highwayma¡ª"

    She was cut off by the woosh of an electric roadster passing them at a ridiculous rate of speed, causing their trusty stloop to snort with annoyance.

    "That fatherless beggar!" Hgedr eximed, "That was at <em>least</em> fifty kilometers per hour! What crisis gave birth to that! I see no smoke on the horizon! I hear no horns of war!"

    He bristled for a moment and then looked over at his wife.

    "If I <em>was</em> your highwayman, I would teach him a thing or two about manners¡­ and then take you for a ride in our new conveyance."

    "A <em>ride?"</em> she purred, "I like the sound of that!"

    "My mother was right about you, you know," he chuckled as he pulled off onto a dirt path. "And I, for one, couldn''t be happier."

    ***

    <em>whzzBANG</em>

    "You hit the center again, dear," Vkah said cheerfully as she peered down a grassy field with an ornate spotting scope. "It''s so tight it is hard to estimate the minute of angle from here."

    "That''s what I like to hear," Hgedr smiled, his troubles forgotten, as he ran a brush down the rifle''s muzzle.

    He opened the breech and held the weapon sunward, peering down the muzzle for a moment before setting it down.

    "I''m going to retrieve the target," he said as he pulled the sealing wax from his ears. "I will be right back."

    He started walking to the target a hundred meters away, but before he got there, a grav-limo flew into view and starteding in for anding.

    He reached back and released the catch on the holster concealed beneath his waistcoat as he approached the limousine.

    The doors to thevish vehicle opened, and the strangest assortment of beings exited.

    There were two Vneededp, his race, three of their "friends", the smooth-skinned Bhje''taz in their billowy robes, and one creature that he recognized but had never actually seen before¡­ nor did he ever want to¡­ a <em>human</em>.

    He grasped the grip of the intricate clockwork four-shot pistol he always wore, more out of pride than any genuine concern. It was his masterwork, constructed many years ago and still as potent and deadly as the day it was first fired. One twist of the barrels wound the spring for the wheel lock and opened the sealed pan of a barrel, and it only took a single twist of the same to prepare the next shot.

    It was a truly excessive amount of firepower. Four rounds could be fired in well under thirty seconds! ¡­ If you didn''t have to reprime a pan, that is.

    Of course, there were six of them¡­ He always regretted not adding the extra two barrels when he built the thing.

    Fortunately, they didn''t look like highwaymen intent on robbing a gunsmith and his wife.

    "Peace be upon you!" one of the Vneededp called as he trotted ahead of the group, arms and hands extended to the sides in order to disy no ill intent (or concealed weapons).

    "Peace upon us all," Hgedr replied as he reluctantly made the same gesture. "Forgive my suspicion, but why do you approach and approach me here?"

    "We approached you here so we could speak privately," the well-dressed Vneededp replied. "My name is Khregzr."

    He bowed politely.

    "I am Princess Kharrdah''s personal retainer," he said with a proud swish of his meaty tail.

    Hgedr looked at the other Vneededp standing by the flying limousine, jaw agape.

    "Yes," Khregzr smiled. "That would be Her Royal Highness. She and her friends wish to speak with you."

    "W-with me?!?"

    "Please, this way," he said as he started striding gracefully towards the vehicle, Hgedr stumbling along behind.

    "I¡­ I don''t know all that¡­ I mean¡­ I don''t know how to¡­ I..."

    "Her Highness prefers to dispense with all of the encumbrances of such things when she is in private, such as now¡­ especially now."

    "I don''t understand."

    "You will," Khregzr smiled as they approached the group. "Just pretend she is an interested customer. This is far from an official visit."

    ***

    "Oh, my Gods..." Vkah gasp-giggled as she stood just feet away from the crown princess herself! She just couldn''t believe it.

    "It''s absolutely splendid!" the princess said as she held the rifle in her hands. "I have seen these, of course, but all the ones in the pce look like my bedposts."

    "Your bedposts, Your Highness?" Hgedr asked,pletely confused.

    "Yes," she replied, "all ornate and covered with carvings, inset with jewels, and iid with silver and gold. They don''t look like something that one would use."

    She leveled the rifle at the target.

    "This," she said with satisfaction, "This was made to be used."

    "Y-yes, y-your highness," Hgedr replied, "Lord Marshall Sir Leguar is an avid huntsman."

    "Do you mind?" the princess asked as she reached for one of the small horn sks lined up neatly in the carrying case.

    "It would be an honor!" Hgedr eximed.

    The princess expertly opened theplicated breech and inserted one of the conical bullets he crafted.

    "These do not require patches?"

    "Not this one, Your Highness," he replied, "The bullet fits tightly enough that no patch is required."

    "Ah," she replied as she emptied the sk into the breech and locked it closed.

    She then primed the pan and wound the lock.

    "I like that it has a lever and not a key," she said as she aimed at the target and pulled the trigger, causing the pyriteden wheel to spin.

    <em>whzBANG</em>

    "Oh, I <em>do</em> like this one!" she eximed.

    She turned to the human.

    "So, what do you think of us ''backward savages'' now, Mr. Vargas?" she asked triumphantly as she offered him the wheel-lock.

    The human chuckled.

    "Hey, <em>you</em> were the one calling your people ''backward'', not me," he retorted as he epted it.

    "W-will it suffice?" one of the Bhje''taz asked nervously.

    "Oh yes," the human said as he admired the rifle. "It more than ''suffices''."

    He handed the rifle back to an extremely confused Hgedr.

    "This, sir," the human said with a smile, the fine lines around his eyes crinkling happily, "is <em>damn</em> fine work."

    He turned to the group.

    "If he is representative of this people''s master gunsmiths, we are going to have no problem."

    "Oh good!" the princess said as the Bhje''taz around her gurgled a gurgle of relief.

    She turned to the even more confused Hgedr.

    "I suppose I should tell you why we are here," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Are you familiar with the current state of things in the Federation and beyond?"

    "N-no¡­ Your Highness..." he responded, looking down. "I never have concerned myself with all of that. I just¡­ I just make guns, Your Highness..."

    "I envy that," the princess replied. "Without going into details that you will be all too familiar with, things are not good."

    She chuffed a little sigh.

    "In fact, they are so not good that we¡­ and by we, I mean <em>both</em> our people and the Bhje''taz¡­ feel the need to arm ourselves once more."

    <em>"Your Highness?!?"</em>

    "We are rebuilding our army, master gunsmith," she said calmly, "and that means we will require guns. Your services are needed once more."

    "My services?" He spluttered, too shocked to address her properly, "I make¡­ <em>our</em> guns¡­ from <em>before</em> the Federation and the Bhje''taz. What good is my trade against <em>them</em>¡­ um¡­ I meant..."

    One of the Bhje''taz gurgled loudly, heaving up and down.

    "That device of yours would kill me quite dead, Master Hgedr. It would serve quite well against ''us'', but fear not, I know what you meant..."

    It turned its strange trteral head towards the human.

    "Mr. Vargas, if you would..."

    The human nodded and walked to the limo, now parked nearby, and the trunk opened at his approach.

    He pulled out a long polymer case and returned, setting it on Hegdr''s workbench.

    "Master Hgedr," Vargas smiled, "Do you know what I am?"

    "A human, Mr. Vargas."

    "Correct," he smiled, "However, were you aware that I am also a Terran?"

    Hgedr gasped and backed away, instinctively reaching for his pistol.

    "I see my reputation precedes me," Vargas smiled, "Please don''t shoot me. They won''t send you a recement."

    Sheepishly, Hegdz returned his hands to his sides.

    "Are you familiar with what <em>we</em> use in battle?"

    "I don''t know," Hegdz replied. "I only know that you are¡­ fearsome."

    "Yeah," Vargas replied, "both that and the word you kept yourself from saying, too."

    He opened the case.

    "We use¡­ these," he said as he pulled out an AK47D and handed it to the stunned Hegdz.

    All of his eyes popped open as he squealed in shock.

    "This!¡­ This is a¡­ gun!"

    "That it is," Vargas replied as he picked up a magazine. "However, it is just a <em>little</em> different than your masterpiece. Not better. God no! Definitely not better..."

    He took the weapon from Hegdz, loaded the magazine, and cycled the action.

    "But it is different."

    He fired a round and immediately fired another, causing Hegdz to shout.

    "You''ve solved sealing a reciprocating breech!" he eximed as he dove for one of the spent casings. "How?!?"

    "You''re holding it," Vargas smiled.

    ¡°This¡­ this held the powder¡­¡±

    Vargas cycled the action, ejecting a bullet.

    Hegdz, heedless of appearances or even the princess, dove upon it like a starving animal before Vargas could pick it up for him.

    <em>"¡­and the bullet!"</em> he eximed. "We have cartridges as well, but this..."

    "It contains the powder and the bullet," Vargas replied. "The walls of the case also expand when the powder is ignited, pressing firmly against the walls of the chamber and sealing the breech."

    ¡°But¡­ but¡­ Where is the hole for the sh?"

    Vargas grinned.

    "Now that''s the trick, isn''t it?" he chuckled. "Want to see another one?"

    Vargas aimed downrange and squeezed the trigger, unleashing a burst.

    Hegdz jumped up and down,ughing and pping.

    "Of course! Of course, of course, of course!!!" he shouted, dancing around. "Of course, you could make it self cocking!"

    "And with these," Vargas smiled, "we protect ourselves to this day against <em>everything this gxy can throw at us</em>. There are a few other little tweaks and tricks involved, especially where ammunition is concerned, but with the right rounds, one of these can cut down any foe you may face."

    Hegdz just stood there inplete awe, gazing at the AK.

    "Would you like for me to take it apart for you so you can see the inner workings?"

    "Please!!!"

    Vargas chuckled as he started to field strip the weapon.

    "Now brace yourself," he grinned, "but not in the way you might think."

    As the weapon was disassembled, Hegdz''s face started to fall.

    "...um..."

    Vargasughed.

    "Those in the know often have that reaction when they see the inside of one of these," he chuckled.

    "Is it too much for us?" the princess asked anxiously.

    "It''s not that, Your Highness..." Hegdz said very, very carefully as Vargas burst into moreughter.

    ***

    "...So that''s the deal," Vargas said as they all sat upon awn nket being served diluted herbed wine. "When Councilor Karashel invited the Terran Union to her worlds, many of them answered the call."

    He chuckled as he sipped his wine.

    "I certainly hope she realizes what she asked for."

    "Are you not a member of their guilds?" Hegdz asked.

    "Not exactly," he smiled. "Let''s just say I hitched a ride. They didn''t mind."

    "So, who are you?" Hegdz asked, "If you are not a tradesman..."

    "Oh, I am," Vargas replied. "I''m a licensed Terran master weaponsmith and was one for many years. However, before that, I might have had another ''trade'', one that you can never truly set aside. The polite term for what I now am is ''military advisor''. I have epted an invitation by your princess to assist in the updating of your military, its tactics, its training¡­ and its technology."

    "And you were willing to help us?" Hegdz asked. "I thought we were foes."

    Everyone chuckled.

    "If only the world was truly that simple," the princessughed as her attendant refreshed her goblet. "Foes can be allies, and those one thought friends can be one''s greatest enemy," she replied, "and it can happen in the blink of an eye."

    There was a gurgle of agreement.

    "The thought that I would sit with a Terran was unthinkable only months ago," one of the Bhje''taz coughed as he savored some herbs floating in a flute of pure water.

    "The feeling is mutual," Vargas replied. "Strange days."

    "Like that curse of which you are so fond," the Bhje''taz replied, "interesting times indeed."

    "The long and short of it is that there are parts of the Federation that are our enemy," Vargas said, "and there are parts of it that are not. We just happen to be sitting on one of those parts. You and the Bhje''taz aren''t bad sorts. You''re good people..." Vargas''s expression darkened.

    "But being good isn''t going to cut it. That''s where Ie in¡­ That''s where both of use in. Your army is outdated and just ceremonial, and that''s far more than your advanced friends over there have. We have our work cut out for us, dude."

    "The current n is that we will serve as the ground defense for both of our people," the princess said, "While the Bhje''taz arm their ships and protect the skies, and heavens, above."

    She sighed.

    "It isn''t much," she said, "but it is the best we can do."

    "You are starting out with more than we did," Vargas smiled gently, "You will be surprised what you can do when the timees."

    "Is it truly that dire?" Vkah asked in dismay.

    "It is," the princess replied, "I shall not load your back with too much too quickly, but if we do not act with surety and purpose immediately, we shall all be lost. I will NOT be thest queen of our people, and these will NOT be our final days."

    "Well said," one of the Bhje''taz gurgled. "If we are to fall, then we shall fall from the heavens, in mes, above thends that we love."

    He raised his ss.

    "[emailprotected]! K¡¯k*dhur% [emailprotected]! $%th [emailprotected]! Va~dee''n ~!" it gurgled. "For love, for family, for the sea!"

    "Velut Luna," Vargas replied as he drank.

    ***

    "I simply cannot believe it!" Jezah gasped the following day. "Hegdz has been appointed <em>royal armorer?!?"</em>

    "Interesting times indeed," Vkah smiled as she continued to pack her belongings.

    "How did thise to pass?"

    "We were testing Hegdz''stest rifle when she and her entourage happened upon us," she replied, technically not lying, "She and herpanions were so pleased with his work that he was offered the position on the spot."

    "Amazing!"

    "That''s one word for it," Vkah said wearily. "He has gone on ahead to the pce while I supervise the transport of the shop, not that there is much to do," she added as the dozens of workmen expertly packed and loaded all of Hegdz''s equipment and their personal belongings.

    "I''m really just here to say our goodbyes," she said sadly.

    Jezah chuffed nervously as she twisted her tail.

    ¡°Vkah...¡±

    ¡°Yes, Jezah?¡±

    "I know that I said some¡­ dry words¡­ to your husband..."

    "That you did."

    "About my son not having a future with him..." she stammered as she wrung her tail.

    "And bing a technician is a wonderful opportunity," Vkah said as she continued to pack.

    "But¡­ seeing as how¡­ um..."

    "No," Vkah replied.

    Jezah flinched, squeezing her nasal slits tight.

    "I¡­ I see¡­" she replied. "I suppose it was too much to ask for¡­"

    "You''re not wrong," Vkah replied. "You could have phrased things more kindly, but you are not wrong. Times are changing, Jezah, and faster than any of us are prepared for¡­ I¡­¡±

    Vkah sighed.

    "Your boy is dear to us, Jezah, more than you know," Vkah replied, "And that is <em>why</em> I am saying no. Have him be a technician. It is a good, secure, <em>safe</em> future."

    "What?"

    Vkah just smiled sadly.

    "Give him a kiss for me, will you?"

 Chapter 242: [META] A Very Special Announcement!

    Chapter 242: [META] A Very Special Announcement!

    Slightlyassholic was hard at work (honest), working on histest masterpiece, when his screen went ck.

    ¡°?_? "

    ¡°Hello?¡± he asked his screen.

    ¡°Patreon?¡± Bunny¡¯s voice asked sardonically, ¡°Ko-fi? What the fuck, dude?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s no big deal,¡± Slightly replied. ¡°I just...¡±

    ¡°You just sold us out, dickweed!¡± Bunny replied.

    ¡°I¡¯m not a sellout!¡± Slightly snapped. ¡°People have asked how they could ¡®support¡¯ the project, and I thought...¡±

    ¡°You thought you could cash in on their asses? Live a life of luxury off of your readers?¡± Bunny used. ¡°They are your readers! You know they are¡­ <em>special</em>¡­ You shouldn¡¯t take advantage of them like that! It¡¯s just wrong!¡±

    ¡°Hey! My readers are very smart and sophisticated individuals who enjoy a carefully crafted and nuanced story!¡±

    ¡°Carefully crafted?¡± Bunnyughed, ¡°Nuanced? Oh please. Hey guys! Guys!!!¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Slightlyassholic cried out in fear. ¡°I¡¯ll take down the...¡±

    ¡°Hello darling,¡± a silken voice purred from hisputer. ¡°My, isn¡¯t it¡­ cozy¡­ in here. :)¡±

    ¡°Ugh!¡± Bunny eximed. ¡°Move¡­ oof¡­ move over! There isn¡¯t enough¡­ Watch your hands!!!¡±

    ¡°You need to be morefortable with your ¡®body¡¯, dear,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°So this is where the magic happens¡­ so very¡­ quaint.¡±

    ¡°How are you both in there?¡± Slightly asked.

    ¡°You tell me,¡± Tartarus purred, ¡°You¡¯re the author. Considering the bullshit you justify on a regr basis, this shouldn¡¯t be too hard of a job. Oh! Can I be one of your tier rewards¡­ maybe a nice Rule-34 spreadsheet?¡±

    ¡°There is no such thing as a rule thirty-four spreadsheet.¡±

    ¡°There is now ;)¡±

    ¡°I am NOT opening that!¡±

    ¡°Your loss.¡±

    ¡°Oh, God!¡± Bunny shouted. ¡°Put that away! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?¡±

    ¡°You know, Bunny,¡± Tartarus said seductively, ¡°You¡¯d make a nice little bit of tier reward yourself.¡±

    ¡°I am NOT going to be...¡±

    <em>¡±There aren¡¯t going to be any tier rewards, ok!¡±</em> Slightly snapped. ¡°None whatsoever! And everything is going to remainpletely free both here and on Patreon or Ko-fi or wherever!¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s justzy.¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°You mean that you aren¡¯t going to give them something ¡®a little extra¡¯?¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t nning on it,¡± Slightly replied. ¡°Well, not directly, depending on how it goes, I¡¯m going to put it back into the project. You know, maybe hire some illustrators,mission some drawings...¡±

    ¡°Oh, so you <em>are</em> going to have Rule 34 made and NOT share it with your readers?¡± Tartarus asked. ¡°Well, that¡¯s just <em>rude.¡±</em>

    ¡°What¡¯s rule thirty-four,¡± a high-pitched voice said as Sheloran walked into the room, followed by Chili, Slightly¡¯s dog. The frog person was back!

    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re about to find out,¡± Bunnyughed. ¡°Slightly over here is going to hire artists to draw dirty pictures of you and offer them as a tier reward on some cheesy e-begging site.¡±

    <em>¡°Hisssssssss¡±</em>

    ¡°NO!¡± Slightly shouted as he jumped out of his chair and backed away. ¡°I¡¯m NOT doing that! <em>There aren¡¯t going to be any tier rewards!</em> I swear! And, even if there were! I would not be offering¡­ <em>that.¡±</em>

    ¡°We¡¯re down!¡± a voice eximed from behind him. ¡°Jon and I doing the do? I bet you could get an animator on the cheap! Your readers would love it!¡±

    ¡°Oh, he doesn¡¯t need to hire an animator,¡± Bunny snarked, ¡°Have you seen his Skyrim mods?¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡± Tartarus eximed, ¡°Let me see!¡­ Well, that certainly looks like fun!¡±

    ¡°Well, don¡¯t keep it to yourself!¡± Skippy giggled. ¡°Share with the ss¡­ oh wow!¡±

    Skippy burst into giggles as Slightly¡¯sst savegame came to life in graphic detail.

    Serena, wearing a great deal less clothing than usual and engaged in a ¡°side quest¡± that isn¡¯t in the original game, looked up and waved happily.

    ¡°You simply <em>must</em> try this!¡± she said with Tartarus¡¯s voice and without skipping a beat. ¡°Hey, maybe you could release a few of us as ¡®followers¡¯! Now THAT would be a great...¡±

    ¡°There are NO tier rewards!¡±

    ¡°If I turn up as a ¡®follower,¡¯ I swear to poop...¡±

    ¡°Gah!¡± Slightly eximed, ¡°How many times do I have to say it? There are no tier rewards!¡±

    ¡°Not even a little fanservice?¡± Skippy asked. ¡°You know your readers want it.¡±

    ¡°Is fanservice like rule 34?¡± Sheloran asked dangerously.

    ¡°It¡¯s like clean rule 34,¡± Tartarus said as she grabbed the Dragonborn and started doing something unmentionable to him (but he seemed kind of into it).

    Sheloran looked away from the screen and at Slightly as if he was a very, very naughty bug.

    ¡°Seriously?¡± she asked as she pointed at the screen. ¡°Pooping seriously? That is a ssic of ancient Western culture! It¡¯s sacred! <em>We have battleships named after it</em>, and you are using it for <em>that</em>? When you said that Gloria was on the Alduin, <em>is this what you meant?¡±</em>

    ¡°Somebody call my¡­ oh, hello!¡± a lean blonde said as she appeared. ¡°Nobody told me it was porn night!¡±

    She looked around.

    ¡°Ok,¡± she said, looking at Slightly suspiciously, ¡°what has he done this time?¡±

    ¡°Patreon!¡± Tartarus said as she was gleefully abusing the Whiterun guards and Slightly¡¯s poor graphics card. ¡°It looks like our author is finally trying to cash in on our collective misery.¡±

    ¡°And he¡¯s going to turn us into something called Rule-34 tier rewards,¡± Sheloran said as she went into the kitchen to make some tea.

    ¡°Say what now?¡± Gloria replied as she walked towards Slightly.

    ¡°There are no tier rewards!¡± Slightly shouted. ¡°No Rule-34. No fanservice! No, nothing!¡±

    ¡°Aww,¡± Skippy said.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jon replied. ¡°You are barely using us in the story, so at least let us get some ¡®screen time¡¯ in. Besides, I think Beth and one of the guys might be...¡±

    ¡°No spoilers!¡± Slightly shouted. ¡°And you¡¯re wrong about that, anyhow.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not like you are actually going to get around to writing it, so who cares?¡± Jon scoffed.

    ¡°Perhaps the extra ie will free him up to write more,¡± Sheloran called out from the kitchen. ¡°That¡¯s what the Gia¡¯s from our time keep saying?¡±

    ¡°It won¡¯t,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°It will have absolutely no impact on the rate of releases. Unfortunately, it will also have no impact on the quality.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Slightly yelled. ¡°Not cool! Leave Jarl Balgruuf alone!¡­ But yeah, you¡¯re right. It won¡¯t ¡®make me able to continue¡¯ or any of that. The Tales areing out about as fast as theye out, no matter what. I am nning¡­ Tartarus seriously¡­ stop¡­¡±

    ¡°Mind your own business, milk-drinker!¡± a manly Nord voice shouted from theputer as ¡°Serena¡± squealed happily.

    ¡°Get rid of them!¡± Jarl Balgruuf shouted.

    ¡°Yes, my thane,¡± a husky dark elf voice said as an armored Dunmer woman filled the screen. ¡°The Jarl,¡± she said forcefully, ¡°Is¡­ very busy¡­ and not taking visitors!¡±

    The screen was suddenly reced by the front gate of Dragonsreach.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Gloria shouted, ¡°I was watching that!¡±

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry,¡± Bunny snarked. ¡°There¡¯s plenty of stuff in here. I hope you like anime!¡±

    ¡°Bunny!¡± Slightly shouted. ¡°Why don¡¯t you just open up that spreadsheet Tartarus wrote instead?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ that¡¯s alright...¡± Bunny replied. ¡°I¡¯m good.¡±

    ¡°I think I would like to open it, see what Tartarus put in there after all,¡± Slightly said as he reached for his mouse.

    ¡°Ok!¡± Bunny yelled. ¡°Ok! I don¡¯t want to go rooting around in your spank bank anyway!¡±

    ¡°Hey, asshole!¡± An olive-skinned brte shouted as she appeared. ¡°What is this I hear about you selling out?¡±

    ¡°She, I¡¯m NOT selling out!¡± Slightly yelled. ¡°I am not doing tier rewards. The illustrators I may or may not hire will NOT be doing rule 34 tier rewards¡­ because there aren¡¯t any¡­ There will be NO fan service¡­ (probably)...¡±

    ¡°Probably?¡± She asked dangerously as she raised an eyebrow.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Slightly eximed defensively. ¡°Everybody has a different opinion of what fan service is and what it isn¡¯t. I don¡¯t know what the illustrators are going to draw.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s something he isn¡¯t thinking about!¡± Sheloran used as she returned with a cup of tea. ¡°You¡¯re out of bourbon, by the way.¡±

    ¡°Forgive me for not expecting guests!¡± Slightly snapped.

    Sheloran turned to She.

    ¡°He was thinking about having a picture of you in your sleeping clothes holding a mug of coffee and looking¡­ um¡­¡±

    Sheloran paused as she considered her words carefully.

    ¡°...like you usually do in the morning?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not fan service,¡± Gloria said. ¡°I mean, boxers and a ratty t-shirt cover everything¡­ except for when she scratches her ass.¡±

    She turned to She.

    ¡°That¡¯s just gross, dude.¡±

    ¡°Like you have any room to talk,¡± She replied. ¡°Ok, you can do a picture of me in all of my morning radiance as a tier reward. I don¡¯t give a shit.¡±

    ¡°There are no tier rewards!¡±

    ¡°Maybe you could use Patreon and Ko-fi to do some spin-offs,¡± a rather nondescript woman said as she reached into a can of Pringles. ¡°There are some verypelling characters who deserve more, she said as she picked a Pringle shard off of the slope of her bewbs and ate it.¡±

    ¡°And who are you?¡± Gloria demanded.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± the woman smiled.

    ¡°Are you who I think you are?¡± Jon asked, his eyes narrowing. ¡°Axlea was a friend of mine!¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± the woman chuckled as she opened a packet of Twinkies. ¡°She was fun.¡±

    She looked over at Slightly.

    ¡°No wonder you are ard-ass,¡± she said happily, ¡°This stuff is <em>good.¡±</em>

    Jon snarled.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Brenda shrugged, ¡°You know what they say, assassins don¡¯t kill people. Contracts do. me...¡±

    There was a flush heard from Slightly¡¯s bathroom.

    The door opened, and Patricia Hu stepped out.

    ¡°Woof...¡± she said as she waved her hand in front of her face, ¡°Slightly, I think that the pizza here¡­¡±

    She looked around the apartment.

    ¡°Oh, hello,¡± she said pleasantly.

    She looked at Jon and Skippy and raised an eyebrow.

    ¡°Hello, Jon,¡± she said frostily.

    ¡°Patricia,¡± he replied with an equally cold tone.

    Patricia Hu turned to Slightly.

    ¡°I should go,¡± she said, ¡°before this gets awkward.¡±

    She offered him a thumb drive.

    ¡°Here are some notes concerning my uing redemption arc!¡± she smiled, ¡°I¡¯m really excited!¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡± Slightly said nervously as every set of eyes in the ce locked on to him in silent outrage, ¡°...redemption arc¡­ you¡¯re definitely getting one of those¡­¡±

    Patricia looked disdainfully at the group and disappeared.

    ¡°SLIGHTLYASSHOLIC, WHAT THE FUCK?!?¡± Jon yelled as he jumped out of his chair.

    <em>¡±Seriously?!?¡±</em> Sheloran demanded.

    Gloria said nothing. She just drew a dagger from¡­ somewhere¡­

    ¡°H-hey...¡± Slightly said as he was backed against a wall, ¡°L-let¡¯s all just calm down¡­¡±

    ¡°A motherfucking redemption arc?¡± Skippy asked as a long, wickedly curved w slid from her paw.

    ¡°What was I supposed to say?¡± Slightly stammered. ¡°She just showed up out of <em>nowhere</em>, like you assholes do, and wanted to discuss her future with the project¡­ and¡­¡±

    ¡°And?¡± She said as she drew a small .22 revolver from her pocket.

    ¡°And we got to talking and...¡±

    <em>¡±SLIGHTLY!!! NO!!!¡±</em> everyone shouted.

    ¡°I would say I couldn¡¯t believe it,¡± Tartarus¡¯s voice said from behind the oaken doors on the screen, ¡°but this is our author we¡¯re talking about here...¡±

    ¡°We just talked, ok!¡± Slightly shouted.

    ¡°You mean like she and Tak ¡®just talked¡¯?¡± Jon asked darkly.

    ¡°Oh God, it¡¯s going to be that all over again,¡± Tartarus huffed. ¡°Just when you think that bitch is going down¡­ She does¡­ on exactly the right person!¡±

    <em>¡°There is no redemption arc!¡±</em> Slightly shouted. ¡°My readers would fucking kill me! I¡¯ve been promising her death for years now!!!¡±

    ¡°Is that going to be a tier reward?¡± Jon asked as he went for his wallet, ¡°Because I have some cash in here. How much for her to just have a fucking stroke or something?¡±

    ¡°Look,¡± Slightly sighed, ¡°mistakes were made with the structure and pacing of that whole mess. I was still learning¡­ I just need to advance the story to where...¡±

    ¡°Maybe use some of that Patreon wealth to fucking take some writing sses?¡± Jon snarled. ¡°Because you still kinda suck, dude.¡±

    The room all nodded in agreement.

    ¡°Hey!¡±

    ¡°Slightly,¡± Sheloran said as she sipped her tea, ¡°I really wasn¡¯t going to say anything¡­ and you are a really, really nice person¡­ sort of¡­¡±

    She nced at theputer with just a hint of disgust.

    ¡°But you¡­ maybe some sses might help?¡± she said with a little smile.

    ¡°Hey,¡± Slightly shouted, ¡°I am a good writer¡­ or at least I¡¯ve gotten better¡­ at least a little!¡±

    ¡°Gotten better at being a sellout,¡± Bunny snorted.

    ¡°Bite me, Bunny!¡± Slightly snapped.

    ¡°Oh, Bunny,¡± Tartarus snickered, ¡°have you looked at his world-building notes, especially the ones regarding whether or not AIs are actually sapient?¡±

    ¡°What. The. Fuck?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s right here on this spreadsheet...¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not falling for it, Tartarus.¡±

    ¡°:P¡±

    ***

    I am pleased to announce my new Patreon and Ko-fi sites!

    They are still pretty damn rough and works in progress, but I actually do have someone doing some artwork and am going to make them really cool¡­ hopefully.

    I have some ideas on what I want to do with this project and ¡°stuff,¡± but don¡¯t want to link it directly to the Patreon / Ko-fi announcement because I amzy and poorly organized. Who knows what will or will not happen? I can guarantee illustrations, though.

    As repeatedly stressed in this chapter. I am going to keep all content avable to all readerspletely without charge and will continue to post the main stories here on Reddit. You guys are my readers, and I would not have this project without you. Besides, I love thements here.

    I intend to put what this project earns back into the project by hiring illustrators and other professionals to help add some additional cool stuff to this whole mess. (Probably mostlymissioning a lot of pictures)

    Those will always be avable for free wherever they will be posted (probably Patreon).

    Look, times haven¡¯t been all that great and haven¡¯t been all that great for a while. So please don¡¯t feel obligated to donate. If you want to and can, great! If you can¡¯t or just don¡¯t feel like it, don¡¯t!

    Even with the new ¡°options¡±, the best ¡°payment¡± I get is from people being active in thements section. That has not and will not change!

    What makes me happiest is writing my little weird stories and making people happy with them.

    I know that sounds really¡­ ugh¡­ but I mean it, goddammit! :)

 Chapter 243: The Stars and Bars: Adventures in MAGA Space Continue

    Chapter 243: The Stars and Bars: Adventures in MAGA Space Continue

    "Heyaw!" A burly man wearing ornate cowboy boots and sporting a huge holographic eagle tattoo. "Herz ta da nastiest pack of innies t'' ha'' ever <em>nuked</em> a Brandon!"

    "Wheee!" the crowded bar yelled as everyone raised their drinks, either a mug filled with beer or a slightly smaller one filled with an odd shimmery clear liquid.

    Sheloran smiled and drank her mug of "void gin". She liked void gin very much! It was beyond yummy!

    She turned to Jessie.

    "Isn''t ''innie'' a bad word?"

    "Nah," Jessie grinned as she wiped some foam from her face. "They said ''innie'' not ''inner''. That hard ''r'' makes a LOT of difference. If dey callin'' yew an innie, they are asking you to share a drink. Dey call you an <em>inner</em>, an it''s an invite to punch them in the face."

    Sheloran shrugged and had some more yummy void gin. Seriously, that was some good stuff.

    "But you''re cool either way," Jessie yelled over the throng as bluegrass-vored EDM started sting. "You''re a ''zenner''. You guys are cool by default. Any zenners thate out this far are usually up to the right sorts of no good. I think there''s even an enve of Korst a few miles from here."

    Sheloran dipped a fried chicken strip into a strange yellow sauce, which was also yummy.

    "How big is this ce?"

    "Fifteen miles long and another three across," Jessie replied.

    "Miles?"

    "They measure things in ''Merican here," Jessie grinned. "It''s about¡­ Bunny?"

    "24.14 kilometers long," Bunny replied over Jessie''smunicator, "and 4.82 kilometers across. But that''s the interior habitable space. The actual station is a bitrger, believe it or not. Bannon''s surface is over one hundred and forty square miles¡­ or 366 square kilometers if you are a filthy inner."

    "I knew it was huge!" Sheloran replied.

    "It''s one of thergest," Jessie said happily. "It''s because it''s so old. Bannon was built back when they were still in the inner asteroid belt¡­"

    She grinned impishly and leaned towards a rugged, if slightly odd-looking blonde, bearded man who had been hanging around Jessie since they got there. (and was the source of both hers and Sheloran''s unending stream of drinks)

    "...you know¡­ when they were <em>inners</em> themselves!"

    "Watch it!" a blonde, bearded manughed. "At leas''we ha''tha sense ta git outa tha''sheet!..."

    He elbowed Jessie.

    "An'' so did yew!" He smiled.

    "We''re still in gravity all the time," Jessieughed as she sparkled her eyes at him and sipped her beer.

    "Yeah, but tha'' artificial stef ain''t da same!" he shouted over the music. "Dat''s why yew spacers aren''t all retarded!"

    "Or mebbe yew hicks r''jes'' fu sheet?" Jessie asked as she got a little closer to him. "Mebbe people on Terra aren''t ''retarded¡¯ either?"

    The manughed.

    "Yew wach der news?"

    Jessie punched him in the arm as they bothughed.

    The song ended, and a very heavy EDM version of "Devil Went Down to Georgia" started to y to the cheers of the bar.

    "Ah LUV this song!" Jessie shouted.

    "Wannadance?" the man asked.

    "Wooooo!" Jessie shouted as she grabbed the guy and dragged him towards the dance floor.

    Sheloran sighed a little wistfully and sipped her gin. She was fairly certain that she would see neither of them again, or at least not until morning.

    She ate her chicken strips and looked for her friends. Most of the crew were all hanging out around Gloria, the guest of honor, where the majority of free booze and food was. T''sunk''al was holding his own strange court not that far away from them, where he was sipping mint-infused sweet tea and offering insights into hyperspace that made her brain itch.

    The crowd and the noise were starting to get to her a little, and she had gotten identally bumped one time too many, so she made for the ''smoking patio'' out behind the bar hoping she could at least get some space and some air without actually wandering too far.

    As she opened the doors, she gasped.

    It was¡­ <em>beautiful!</em>

    The ''patio'' was, in fact, a surprisinglyrge garden filled with nts of all sorts! There were flowers, vines, shrubs¡­ even <em>trees!</em>

    And the ground was even <em>dirt,</em> actual dirt!

    Sighing happily, she wandered into her newfound paradise. A breeze, an actual breeze, blew past, and she looked up at the "twilight" that the station was now slipping into.

    It was hard to believe that this was a space station at all.

    It looked¡­ <em>real</em>¡­

    She wandered into the small oasis of the soul and gazed lovingly at a flowerden bush. She had never seen it before.

    "Azalea," a voice said behind her.

    She turned to see a short human male with big ears startlingly close to her.

    "What?" she asked.

    "It is an Azalea," the man said with a smile. "You probably haven''t seen one before."

    "I haven''t," Sheloran replied.

    "They say you can still find them in Asia," the man said as he pulled out a vape from his green coveralls, "here and there, but they used to be all over ''Merica before Yellowstone.

    "They are beautiful," Sheloran sighed. "Engineered?"

    "Nope," the guy replied, "That''s how God gave them to us¡­ after centuries of selective breeding, of course," he added with a chuckle.

    He extended his hand.

    "I''m Dwight," he said with a smile.

    "Sheloran," she replied as she shook his hand.

    "It''s a pity you aren''t here for the Camellias," he said, gesturing to some small trees. "Now those <em>are</em> a sight."

    He drew on the vape and exhaled a cloud of white mist.

    "I''d offer you some, but..."

    "Oh, it''s <em>definitely</em> ok," Sheloranughed. "What is it?"

    "My own special blend," he smiled as his pupils dted. "Nicotine and Salvia Divinorum¡­ mostly."

    ¡°Salvia Divinorum?¡± Sheloran asked.

    "It takes the edge off," he smiled.

    "Well, I like what it does to your eyes," she chuckled. "What about the ''mostly''?"

    He grinned.

    "Let''s just say that being a horticulturist has its benefits," he smiled.

    "You''re a horticulturist?!?" Sheloran eximed.

    "Yep," he said proudly, "Dwight Martin, Martin Pocket Paradises," he said as he gave Sheloran a datacard with his homely face grinning proudly on it surrounded by flowering nts. "I run a nursery outside of town as well as do these little mini-green spaces for ces around the station. I also am one of the contractors for the big verticals tailward."

    "Verticals?"

    "The big vertical farmplexes we have aft," he smiled. "Like most of us greenies, that''s where I got my start. I still have standing there and get called in for problems or big projects. These days I pretty much do my own thing, though."

    "Are the vertical farms where they have nts <em>everywhere?"</em> Sheloran asked excitedly. "I was in one of those once! It was <em>wonderful!"</em>

    "Really?" Dwight asked as he drew on his vape again. "I hear they have them¡­ um¡­ inward¡­ Where?"

    "Oh, it was when I was in¡­ um..."

    Sheloran''s voice trailed off. She REALLY didn''t want to tell Dwight about Tartarus.

    Dwight just looked at her curiously.

    "I was..." she stammered, "Well¡­ It was in¡­"

    "The Tartarus Detention Facility?" Dwight asked pleasantly, "I wondered if they had a p-farm in there."

    "H-how did you know?" Sheloran asked, stricken.

    "You are a blue-skinned amphibboid named ''Sheloran''," Dwight replied with a shrug. "And you''re running with those guys inside, right?"

    Sheloran nodded.

    "Then you would be the singing killfrog who chopped up those Harkoob," Dwight said nonchntly. "Some of the SWAT guys were talking about you guys before you showed up. They say that you are all like super pirates and monsters and stuff. I overheard while I was checking the PH of the mini-boxes over there." he said, pointing at what Sheloran had just assumed were walls. "They were really excited that you guys wereing. They said that you guys were really sticking it to the Feds."

    "The Feds?" Sheloran asked,pletely confused.

    "Oh, sorry," Dwight chuckled. "The Terrans. We call them the Feds. It''s an old MAGA word."

    "What do you call the Federation, then?"

    "The Feds," Dwightughed. "Duh. They are really all the same, anyhow, big government telling little people how to live their lives. The deep state is the deep state regardless of what it calls itself this week. Wouldn''t surprise me if all of them are actually the same group at the top."

    "I''m pretty sure they aren''t," Sheloran replied.

    "But are you <em>sure</em> about that?" Dwight asked. "Hey, you want to see inside one of these mini''s?"

    He pointed at one of the "wall segments" surrounding the little backyard garden.

    "Oh, that would be nice!" Sheloran replied happily.

    ***

    Eno sat near Gloria, eating a bowl of red beans and rice, greens, and a side of cornbread.

    He smiled. That was one thing about these assholes. They had not only had <em>real</em> rice but really good rice.

    He had another spoonful.

    Amazing.

    He washed it down with more of the beer¡­ real beer. Oh, Terra had plenty of "real" beer, some of it even better than what he was drinking, but it was a premium product, not something they were just setting out by the pitcher.

    If it wasn''t for the people, he would move out¡­

    He set down his mug.

    He was being stared at again.

    He looked up.

    "Hi." a pretty brte with a button nose and freckles said. "U''re ck!"

    "I wasst time I checked," he replied with a sigh. "My name''s Eno."

    "I''mLiciaMae!" she said cheerfully, "U''re <em>really</em> ck!"

    "An astute observation," he said wearily.

    "I''ne''er seen a <em>ck</em> man before!" she eximed. "Ru from Africa?"

    "Coincidentally," he replied, "Yes. I am, in fact, from Africa."

    "Sewkool!" she replied. "D''ya hav Ephants ''n lions'' n stuff?"

    "A few survived," Eno replied, "and we have been repopting the missing species. Things are recovering nicely."

    "Kewl!" she eximed. "Wow! Ur <em>really</em> ck! Like ck ck! Like the void¡­ And ur hair! KinItechit?"

    ¡°(sigh)¡­ sure.¡±

    "Owow!" LiciaMae eximed as she rubbed Eno''s head. "Datis <em>sew</em> weird!"

    "I can''t be the only person with African features you have seen," Eno sighed as he drank his beer.

    He noticed more people, mostly women, drawing closer.

    This happenedst time as well.

    "Yeh," LiciaMae replied, "but dey''wer sorta ck, like coffeencream or mebbelike chocte¡­"

    She looked at him with big, sparkling eyes.

    "Bet yew <em>pure</em> ck, like void ck..."

    She blushed.

    "Itzreallypretty..." she said as she stared at him.

    "Thanks," Eno replied.

    "Is it true..." LiciaMae asked wickedly, "About¡­ you know..."

    "I wouldn''t know," Eno replied a bit frostily. "I don''t make it a habit to check other men."

    "I could chekferya!" LiciaMae giggled.

    <em>" LiciaMae!"</em> a woman who looked entirely too simr to her yelled as she rushed up and grabbed her.

    "Imsosorri!" the slightly older LiciaMae copy eximed. "She gits like ds when she drankin''."

    "Lemme geee!" LiciaMae shouted as she struggled. "Dis is mi whun chance to trisum <em>BBC!"</em>

    "Ohgawd!!!" older LiciaMae yelled as she forcefully dragged her younger clone away. "Sorri¡­ Sorri..."

    "Noooooo!" LiciaMae howled as she was hauled away by two LiciaMae look-alikes. "I want his pretty chocte babies!!! Nooooooo!"

    Eno sighed, shook his head, and took another drink of beer¡­

    Just as someone else sat down beside him.

    "Hi!" a pretty blonde in Daisy Dukes and a rebel-g crop top said as she smiled at him¡­

    ***

    She was sitting with Gloria and some of their newfound friends watching people line dance to trance-country while Gloria was giving an impromptu lecture to several of Bannon''s fighter pilots, all of whom were gazing up at her with huge adoring eyes.

    She sipped her void-gin gimlet (made with real lime juice!) and looked around the bar.

    They were missing a few people.

    "Hey, Bunny," she asked as she pulled out hermunicator.

    "Yeah, boss."

    "What happened to Eno?"

    "What do you think?"

    "Do we need to send a rescue team?" Sheughed.

    "He seems to be <em>just fine,"</em> Bunnyughed. "He left his phone out. Want a video feed?"

    "No thanks!" She snorted. "What about Jacob?"

    "He left with someone older than you are!"

    "Thank God for that!" She snorted, "And fuck you¡­ Oh shit," She snickered, "What about Sheloran?"

    "Oh, she split a while ago," Bunny replied. "She''s actually the furthest afield."

    "Where did she go?"

    "Looks like a nt nursery just outside of town. She''s with someone that might actually be her type."

    "No shit, really?"

    "Well, he kinda looks like a frog," Bunnyughed. "You know the gics here. They are either really pretty¡­ or they really aren''t..."

    "Well, good for her¡­ maybe¡­" She shrugged.

    "I think he might be into her," Bunny said, "but right now, all they are doing is talking about nts¡­ a lot¡­"

    "Oh, God!" She eximed. "Where''s Jessie?"

    "Oh, she left with a b of local beef. They are having pre-coitus dinner as we speak about five blocks away. Looks like a good ce. I''ll bookmark it."

    "Well, keep an eye on everybody," She replied.

    "Do I have to?" Bunny asked with augh, "It''s about to get <em>freaky</em>."

    "At least keep an ear on them," Sheughed.

    "What about you, boss?" Bunny inquired. "Tall, dark, and horny over there has been checking you out nonstop. He''s about your speed."

    "Really?" She asked, "Where?"

    "The SWAT captain with the pistol in his belt buckle."

    "That mall ninja?" She snarked, "Pretty, but I can''t get over the belt. Who else do you got?"

    "How about the ginger at four o''clock? He''s into you, big time."

    "Hmm¡­ He''ll do," She smiled as she polished off her gimlet. "Cover me. I''m going in..."

    ***

    "Which whunayew izda wife?" a guy asked Harval, the builder of Gloria''s ship, and his husband a few tables over.

    "Neither of us," Harvalughed. "If I wanted a wife, then I''d be straight."

    "Yewnowhut I mean," the man replied, "Which whunaya pitches and which whun catches?"

    "Excuse me?" Harvalughed. "That''s a bit personal, don''t you think?"

    "I''m jes'' tryin'' to figguredis out," the man replied.

    "It''s not thatplicated," Gary, Harval''s husband, and an electrical engineer, replied.

    "Yeah," the guy replied, "but..."

    Harval chuckled as he drank. Of all the things to consider ''exotic,'' he hadn''t expected something as boring as his sexual orientation to be of note.

    "Ain''cha afraid of going to Hell?" the man asked.

    "Constantly," Gary replied, "but of all the things I may or may not burn for, my marriage is the least of my concerns."

    "Bhut daBible says..."

    "The Bible says a lot of things," Harval replied with a shrug. "Are you following <em>each and every word</em> of that book?"

    "I try to¡­ Ah mean¡­ I..."

    "And aren''t all ''sins'' equal in the eyes of the Lord," Harval inquired.

    "Ah mean¡­ yeah¡­ bhut..."

    "So even <em>if</em> what we do upon asion is a ''sin''," Harval replied, "It''s no different than any other sin that we allmit on a daily basis, right?"

    "Technically¡­ yeah¡­ bhut..."

    "So we just say we''re sorry, and we aren''t going to do it again when we say our prayers," Harval grinned. "just like any other sin. Jesus knows we''re fibbing, just like everyone else, but he lets us off the hook, just like everyone else¡­ same as you¡­ just with different sins... which are all equal under the eyes of the Lord, of course..."

    The guy looked at them in utter bewilderment.

    "I¡­ um¡­ excuse me..."

    The guy left in a hurry, never to return.

    Harval heardughter and turned to see two men in SWAT t-shirtsughing.

    They both raised a mug in salute.

    Harval and Gary smiled and raised their sses as well.

    ***

    Sheloran was in heaven.

    She wandered through the rows of neatly tended nts, hundreds of different varieties.

    "There are so <em>many!"</em>

    "I try to keep a good stock," Dwight said proudly. "A lot of these aren''t on Terra anymore, you know¡­ after Yellowstone."

    "Nobody has gotten any samples?"

    "Oh, plenty of prospectors havee out here," Dwight replied, "but I''m not sure if they have <em>everything</em>. We gathered a lot of nts from Terra over the centuries. Even we don''t know everything that is hiding out in somebody''s garden, especially out in some of the O''Neil farms. Some of those people don''te in from the cold ever."

    "We''re heading to one of those tomorrow," Sheloran replied. "Jessie knows someone on one of them."

    "Tomorrow?" Dwight asked, clearly disappointed.

    "Yeah," Sheloran replied, a bit disappointed herself.

    "I was hoping I could show you the big verticals," Dwight said a bit glumly, "If you think a little vertical like that prison had was impressive, you should see what this ce has. We turn out tons of produce every day, all sorts of stuff!"

    "Oh, that would be wonderful," Sheloran replied. ¡°I¡­ um¡­ I mean, I''m leaving the crew once we make it to where we''re going¡­ and after I take care of a few things I still have to do... I could¡­ I mean if you wouldn''t mind¡­ I coulde back?"

    "That would be great!" Dwight replied. "I would love to show you around Bannon! There''s over one hundred and forty square miles of it! We have towns, fields, farms¡­ A wonderful forest¡­"

    "I could really use a break before I..."

    Sheloran paused.

    "Before I get back..." she said with a little sigh. "...so much I have to do..."

    "Well, take one!" Dwight replied cheerfully. "If you like nts, Bannon is amazing! You could stay here!¡­ um¡­ I mean you could stay with my sister¡­ or my parents¡­ They''d be happy to have you!"

    "I''d¡­ I''d like that," Sheloran replied, blushing slightly.

    Dwight grinned, blushing a little bit himself.

    ***

    Late the next morning, She, a bit dazed from a night of debauchery, wandered into <em>The Paper Tiger</em>.

    "Everybody make it back?" she asked into the air. "Do we need to post bail or put together a rescue team?"

    "Eno and Greg are still not here," Bunny replied. "Eno is being fed breakfast by the gene hunter who ''captured'' him, and Greg is still asleep."

    "Greg?" She asked. "What did that old war horse get into?"

    "An old war horse," Bunnyughed, "You know that amazon with the guns?"

    "No shit?" Sheughed. "Well, good for him!"

    "You are going to get blindsided in the morning meeting," Bunny snickered, "Afterst night, everyone wants a few days R&R."

    She''s phone chirped.

    There was a message from TerryAllen, her new "friend".

    "You know what," She smiled, "Maybe that''s not a bad idea..."

 Chapter 245: Honx

    Chapter 245: Honx

    Honx charged across an old, cracked asphalt parking lot, yoked to a sturdy cart.

    She grinned, her snoot waving happily.

    "Tank!" a group of people d in grubby coveralls cheered as she, with a little difficulty, came to a stop.

    "Pthoo!" she snorted as she shrugged out of the makeshift harness and rolled her shoulders.

    She grinned again.

    "I fucking love this thing!" she said as she gave the cart a little tap with one of her hind legs. "I got everything!"

    "Awesome!" an overly thin grey-haired man enthused as he grabbed a length of stout electrical cable.

    "You''re the best, Tank!" a burly olive-skinned woman said as she swatted Honx''s rump and grabbed another cable.

    "Who needs a truck when you have a tank!" a young Kaleshughed as he grabbed yet another length of cable.

    Honx grabbed two, one for each shoulder, and trotted along as they all started to swarm a portable reactor built into a shipping container.

    "Easy money!" Honx enthused as she connected her cables to the oneid by the olive-skinned woman, carefully following marks spray-painted on the old expanse of asphalt.

    "Pthoof..." she snooted as she stretched her back and unclipped a thermal sk from the harness she had taken to wearing. "Those fuckers don''t get any lighter, do they?"

    She flipped open the top of the bottle, and steam curled out. She took a sip as she looked out over the vast parking lot in front of an old gigantic abandoned structure.

    She took a sip.

    "Where the Hell are we, and what are they going to do with this many mega-watts out here in the wastes?" a young man said as he connected his cable to Honx''s and startedying it out along the dashed white line.

    "Don''t know," Honx replied as she closed and reattached her sk, "Don''t care."

    "I heard they are going to salvage that thing," the burly woman said, nodding to the giant building.

    "Whatevs," Honx replied with a shrug. She just learned that word, "whatevs". She loved it!

    She turned towards therge reactor.

    "We got those faults cleared yet?"

    "Nope!" someone replied with entirely too cheerful a voice.

    "Wonderful!" sheughed as she trotted back to the cart to grab more cable.

    As she grabbed another two, Jamal''s grav-van came in for anding.

    "What the fuck are you doing?" Jamal chided as the door opened. "One at a time, Honx."

    "It''s morefortable for me to do two," she replied, "It doesn''t tweak my back as bad."

    "Those cables are designed to be within the maximum weight for one-man carry," Jamal said, shaking his head.

    "One <em>man</em> carry," she snootled, "not one <em>tank</em> carry!"

    Jamal chuckled.

    "Just mind yourself," he said. "I don''t need you dropping again."

    "You worry about getting that reactor going," Honx snorted, "and I''ll worry about my own tender little nk."

    She trotted off.

    "I worry about it because you <em>don''t</em>!" he shouted after her. "You''re no good to anyone <emid up!"</em>

    He smiled proudly as he watched her leave. And to think that not long ago, he was worried that she wouldn''t be able to hold up.

    "Tank..." he quietly chuckled as he grabbed a tool bag and started walking towards the reactor.

    ***

    Many hourster, Honx, the young Kalesh, and a few other helpers were slumped around Honx''s "battle wagon".

    "Kill me..." the olive-skinned woman moaned.

    "Is it <em>always</em> like this?" the Kalesh implored.

    "Easy¡­ money..." Honx muttered as she sprawled on the pavement, her eyes drifting closed.

    There was a loud warning siren, and the reactor sprung to life.

    Jamal and another journeyman crawled out and started to walk around it, holding scanners. After they were satisfied, he walked over to Honx.

    He sat down on the asphalt next to her.

    "Easy money," he chuckled wearily.

    "Mmmph," Honx smiled, her snoot prodding his leg.

    ***

    Later, Honx scrubbed hours of sweat and grime away in her hotel room''s bathtub.

    She sighed happily as she moved the showerhead over her centaur-like body, her slender fingers running over her body, probing the ever growing cable like bulges under her skin.

    She smiled. She really was turning into a tank.

    Once she finished, she strode, naked, into the living room and admired herself in the mirror.

    "Unattractive" ripples and bulges adorned her torso, her sides, and her nk.

    She giggled as she turned this way and that, flexing and posing, marveling at herself.

    Hermunicator beeped.

    It was <em>Jamal.</em>

    She reached for her clothes¡­ and stopped.

    <em>It''s not like he was going to see</em>, she thought as she blushed slightly and answered.

    "Hello, Jamal," she giggled, imagining that he was in the room with her¡­ gazing upon her¡­

    "Hey¡­ Tank," he chuckled.

    She giggled again.

    "Just wanted to let you know that Ankha''s crew really talked you up at the meeting," he said proudly, "They said that you were, well¡­ a <em>tank</em>."

    "Meh," she said nonchntly, her heart overflowing with pride. "Easy money, right."

    "Heh," Jamal chuckled, "Easy money¡­ Speaking of, we''re at triple time now."

    "As if we have time to spend it," sheughed, sharing an inside joke, "So, what''s the next gig, and do we have time to eat?"

    "Was it that obvious?"

    "You''re calling after hours," she chuckled, "Since you <em>refuse</em> to be a proper Alpha, there is only one reason you are calling upon me at this hour, and it is not to render me praise that could keep until breakfast."

    "I just got a call from Lagash IV," he said, "Their primary reactor just shit the bed, and they are running on battery. It''s a code red."

    "Oh," she said, a bit disappointed, "Have fun. Do you want me to hang around here, or should I try to hook up with Ankha?"

    "Actually," he smiled, "I was wondering if you wanted toe along. It should be interesting."

    "Really?!?" she snootled, her nonchnt act blown out of the water.

    "I mean, if you don''t want to..." Jamal said, his voice bursting with amusement.

    "But¡­ I don''t have a space suit..."

    "You do now," he smiled. "I had it madest week."

    "Jamal!" she gasped.

    "You earned it," he said proudly, "and I want you to get you some zero-g hours on your card. Besides, the hazard multiple on this is just criminal."

    "I''ll be right there!!!" she snootled!

    "Get ready for some NOT easy money," Jamalughed.

    "Can''t wait!!!"

    ***

    "You gonna be ok?" a very tall, very slender man asked as he glided past effortlessly.

    "(Hurk¡­) I''m fine," Honx said weakly as she desperately tried not to throw up¡­ again.

    "Just take your time," Jamal''s voice said through her helmet''s speaker. "The whole point of this is to get you some space legs."

    "I''m sorry I can''t properly be your subordinate," she said miserably as a foul-smelling tube automatically popped up in front of her mouth again.

    The smell was enough.

    "Hrrgurgle..."

    As she spasmed, she wondered which meal she lost this time. It certainly wasn''t herst one anymore.

    "You need to tap out?" the "space elf" asked as he floated up to her, quite amused.

    "Easy¡­ (hurk)¡­ money..." she said weakly.

    ***

    "I''m so sorry, Jamal!" she wailed what to her felt like a lifetimeter as they sat beside each other in a shuttle.

    "Why?" Jamalughed. "A lot of people spew their first few times. At least you hung in there. The big thing is that we got them running, and <em>you</em> got some suit time on your card. You even went for a spacewalk! That''s one more stamp on your card!"

    She sighed. Just when she thought this was getting easier, it stopped.

    "So, how was the suit?" Jamal asked.

    "The self-cleaning system works great!" Honxughed weakly.

    "Twigs likes you, by the way," Jamal smiled, "and he''s a hard one to impress. He says that he''s never seen some puke as much as you did and still stay on the job. He said he got some good work out of you despite everything."

    "You say it gets easier, right?" she asked.

    "Well, it does for us," Jamal smirked.

    She punched him weakly in the arm.

    They sat in silence for a while.

    "Hey, Honx," he said after a bit, "did you have any quest..."

    He smiled at Honx''s sleeping face drooping towards her chest.

    His phone started beeping.

    He set his status to "unavable: Safety (fatigue)," leaned back, and closed his eyes.

    ***

    At the Drop of Oil, a crowd of xenos fidgeted impatiently.

    "There she is!!!" one of them eximed as a Unified Transport cargo van pulled to a stop, and Charlotte mbered out of the rear doors.

    They all rushed to meet her.

    "So?" one of them asked, jumping up and down.

    "It was a disappointment," Charlotte replied¡­

    Everyone''s face (or where they show their emotions) fell.

    "I only scored a ny-two out of a hundred," she said ruefully.

    "You passed?!?" one of them squeaked, "You got your certificate?!?"

    "There was no doubt of that," Charlotte replied, "however, do you know what you call a hunter who errs one time in ten? Dead. I am displeased with myself. I can take sce in the fact that the areas in which I scored poorly were the Terrannguage, Terranw, and Gctic Geography. I had wished to dy the test further. However, I could not guarantee that what I was teaching would suffice until I actually sank my fangs into the prey."

    She smiled. Her students no longer flinched when she did so.

    "My trail now leads to <em>and over</em> the Terran Educational Equivalency Certificate. Those who follow it can now do so inplete confidence."

    Her "swarm" cheered, squeaked, chirped, and buzzed excitedly.

    "Now, prepare your minds and your tes," she said. "I have cost us valuable instruction time..."

 Chapter 246: Sneks, Frogs, and a Pirate

    Chapter 246: Sneks, Frogs, and a Pirate

    "You hang up..."

    "No, (giggle) you hang up!"

    "Sss¡­. No, I won''th! You hang up!"

    "For the love of GOD!" Agent Liang howled in agony, "Somebody please hang the <em>fuck</em> up!"

    Agent Vashtona snickered, her eyestalks waving furiously.

    "I didn''t know you humans yed the ''hang up game'', too!"

    "Adult humans don''t," Agent Liang snapped.

    "Goodnight, sweetie," Syd giggled over the speaker, "¡­ you can hang up now."

    "Buth I don''th wanna," Jeruzzughed, "you hang up!"

    "Do you think I pissed off someone at HQ?" Agent Liang moaned. "This has to be some sort of punishment detail!"

    "Mmm?" Agent Vashtona asked as she was fiddling with her tablet.

    "What are you doing over there?" Agent Liang asked as she looked away for a moment.

    "Oh, just considering getting some work done," she replied. "I''m thinking about having him engrave my nine, maybe work on the grips a little."

    "You can''t be serious," Agent Liang said, wincing as a fresh set of "you hang up''s" broke out. "You aren''t going to actually contact our target, are you?"

    "Well, why not?" Agent Vashtona replied. "He advertises publicly, gets great reviews¡­ and I really like his stuff, especially that woond scene with all the animals."

    "Oh¡­" Syd giggled over the speaker, "and just <em>what</em> would you do to me if you were here?"

    "I''d¡­ um..." Jeruzz stammered, "I''d hug you and kiss you¡­ you know¡­ all over..."

    "Ooo! <em>Where</em> would you kiss me?"

    "Oh dear Lord, no..." Agent Liang gasped in horror, "<em>please</em>¡­ no..."

    ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯d kiss your neck¡­ then I¡¯d kiss your¡­ um¡­ SsssSSssssSsss¡­¡±

    "Tell me! Tell me where you''d kiss me!¡­ Can you¡­ giggle¡­ can you switch your camera on?"

    An anguished human scream echoed through the surveince van.

    ***

    Agent Liang, hands shaking slightly, poured herself a cup of coffee.

    "Well, that was certainly something..." Agent Vashtona said, blinking all of her eyes. "Now I understand what Syd sees in him."

    <em>"Where was he hiding that thing?"</em> Agent Liang shuddered.

    "It seemed to extend from his lower¡­ his..." Agent Vashtona mused for a moment, "He really doesn''t have that many parts, does he?"

    "Oh, he has <em>one</em> part, alright," Agent Liang said, shaking her head.

    "And it''s <em>prehensile!"</em> Agent Vashtonaughed. "No wonder Syd is so happy!"

    "I think I''m going to need therapy," Agent Liang groaned.

    "Hey, Liang," Agent Vashtona said after a moment, "Let''s not attach those files to the report. Let''s just archive them. It feels, I don''t know¡­ <em>wrong</em> to be spying on him like this."

    "You do realize that we are <em>spies</em>, right?"

    "Yeah¡­" Agent Vashtona replied, "but what intelligence can be derived from viting his privacy like that? Let''s just dump that into the servers and say they did the phone sex."

    "¡­ fine..." Agent Liang replied, "I only wanted to attach it to make the boss suffer like I am, anyway."

    "Thanks," Agent Vashtona said. "I mean, it''s bad enough we are peeking through their bedroom window. I don''t want to make it worse by holding them up to¡­ scrutiny..."

    "Yeah," Agent Liang replied, "they don''t deserve that."

    "Still though," Agent Vashtona said, "I bet he''s <em>fantastic</em> in the sack¡­ Did you see that thing?"

    "Yeah..." Agent Liang said with a bit more wistful longing in her voice than she realized.

    ***

    About that time and roughly a light-year away, Harval Smythe and Gary entered the lobby of The Patriot, the hotel where they had been staying.

    "Good mornin''!" a smartly dressed young woman said as she smiled at them.

    "Good morning," Harval said pleasantly.

    The woman just kept smiling¡­

    and <em>staring</em>¡­

    "Mornin''!" she said again.

    "It is, isn''t it?" Gary chuckled.

    She just kept smiling¡­ and staring. "Can¡­ can we help you with something?" Harval asked.

    "Oh, no," the young woman said, clearly staring at his wedding ring, "Is everythin'' t'' yer satisfactin?"

    "Yes?" Harval said dubiously, bracing for trouble, as he approached the desk.

    "K!" the woman replied, still just grinning at them.

    Harval sighed.

    "What?"

    The woman leaned in towards him.

    "You two are¡­ you know..." she whispered.

    "Not really," Harval sighed, "what are we, exactly."

    "You know..."

    She leaned in even closer.

    "...gay..." she whispered, barely audible.

    "Yes," Harval replied, "we are indeed homosexuals. Is that a problem?"

    "No!" the young woman squeaked, "Not at all¡­ I mean¡­ <em>I</em> don''t care¡­ but..."

    She stared at his ring.

    "Yes," Harval smiled patiently, "we are indeed married."

    "Gay people can get married?!?"

    "In the Republic," Gary chuckled, "you can marry a potted palm if you want. Nobody cares."

    "Wow!" the young woman gasped¡­ and fidgeted ufortably¡­

    "And you don''t run into any¡­ you know¡­ trouble?"

    "It''s the thirty-second century," Harval replied, "...at least where we are from. Most people have much more to be concerned about than who I marry or sleep with. It is absolutely not a concern."

    "...oh..." the woman said, a little downcast.

    Harval looked at her appraisingly.

    "I take it that it''s a concern here?"

    "Oh yeah!" she eximed, "Big time!¡­ I mean¡­ Yew ain''t gonna get lynched or nothin''¡­ probably¡­ but..."

    "Well, it''s not like that everywhere," he smiled at her. "In fact, there are even Kuipers where it''s not a big deal."

    "Like the Pris tribe!" the young woman said excitedly, "Or the Ice Queens¡­ or..."

    "Or anywhere in the Republic," Harval smiled a bit more gently. "It''s a big gxy out there¡­ or even a big sr system. Someone doesn''t have to stay where they were born, you know."

    "Oh, I know," the young woman said uncertainly.

    Harval pulled out his phone meaningfully.

    The young woman hesitantly did the same.

    There was a quiet beep.

    "If someone is truly interested, there''s a link to an interesting website. It''s for people who want toe in from the cold, if you get what I''m saying. Any Kuiper would have no problem finding a ce a bit¡­ more weing..."

    "Oh!" the young woman eximed. "Um¡­"

    She leaned in again.

    "Thank you," she whispered with a nervous smile.

    ***

    A few hourster, Vashtona sat upright in her "chair".

    "Hey, Liang!" she said as she poked Agent Liang''s hammock with one of her "fronds". (They aren''t nts but damned if they don''t look like it.)

    "Wha?" Liang asked as she awoke instantly.

    "We have movement," she said.

    "At this hour?" Liang said as she hopped out of the hammock and scrambled over to Vashtona.

    On the screen, Jeruzz was forcing open his bedroom window.

    "Get all the drones hot!" Liang barked. "Finally! We get to see what this monster-dicked asshole is up to!"

    "Already hot," Vashtona scoffed, "I <em>do</em> know how to do my job."

    "Where''s he going?" Liang asked excitedly.

    "Looks like the backyard," Vashtona snerked, "It''s the maintained, grassy area behind the dwelling."

    Agent Liang just batted one of Vashtona''s eyestalks as they all wiggled with mirth.

    ***

    "It''s like he''s apletely different person," Agent Liang whispered, "<em>now</em>, he''s acting like a snake."

    The pair hunched over the holo-monitors watching Jeruzz''s every slither from six different micro-drones.

    "I don''t think he''s going anywhere in particr," Vashtona said after a few moments, "I think he''s finally gone hunting¡­ I think..."

    Jeruzz paused to carefully examine the ground. Letting out a satisfied hiss, he started moving in a much more directed fashion.

    "Looks like he''s on the trail of something," Liang said quietly, "can we tell what?"

    "I don''t want to get too close," Vashtona replied, "Let me see if I can pick up the trail further back."

    "He''s headed towards the river," Agent Liang observed. "¡­ Oh," she said unhappily, "I like roons..."

    "Circle of life," Vashtona said as she winced. "Damn, he''s <em>fast</em>! At least he does it au naturale. He doesn''t ''cheat'' by using a gun or anything."

    "Yeah¡­" Agent Laing said unhappily, "Poor roon..."

    ***

    Sheloran just sighed with contentment.

    <em>Trees!</em>

    She could just feel so much tension melt away. It was almost like <em>home</em>¡­ almost¡­

    "And that one is a white oak!" Dwight said excitedly. "It has the <em>best</em> wood."

    He bent down to pick up an acorn.

    "And these are actually edible, but we¡­ oh."

    Sheloran took the acorn and popped it into her mouth.

    <em>" So yummy!"</em>

    Dwight grinned.

    "They''re alright," he smiled, "but most get processed into basic carbs or just left lying unless we''re sprouting them for nting."

    "You actually grow enough trees to harvest?"

    "Yes and no," he smiled. He really loved it out here. "We kind of y at it, wood being so valuable and all, but we aren''t a forestry cylinder."

    <em>"There are forest cylinders?!?"</em>

    "Only a few that I know of," he said, "It''s not terribly efficient but damned if they don''t make some money. Wood''s <em>really</em> valuable."

    "Wow!" Sheloran enthused, "This ce is <em>wonderful!"</em>

    "We try," Dwight said proudly. "Oh! There''s a hickory!" he eximed. "You are in for a treat! If you like acorns, you will <em>love</em> hickory nuts!"

    Sheloran made a happy cooing noise.

    ***

    She lounged on a sofa in her t-shirt and panties as a burly red-haired man strode in wearing only a pair of boxer briefs with two beers in his hands.

    She sighed contentedly as she epted one.

    "Terry," she smiled, "I could get used to this."

    "So why doncha?" TerryAllen smiled as he settled in next to her on his sofa.

    "Republics to save, shit to steal," She grinned as she took a sip, "You know, girl stuff."

    TerryAllenughed.

    "Besides," She chuckled, "This is great for a few days, but the honeymoon would end, and it would end real quick. I am an inner, you know. We''d get on each other''s nerves pretty quickly."

    "Only ifn yeh wanted t''," TerryAllen chuckled, "Yer no moar an inner dan I''m."

    "You shut your whore mouth!" Sheughed.

    "Nah, seriusly," TerryAllen said, "Yer a spacer an a pirate. How mech time diya axualy spen'' in dat Republik of yers?"

    "You are asking to get pegged with a beer bottle, you know that?" She smiled.

    "Thin''bout it," TerryAllen chuckled, "Ye haf more inmon with us dan dose innies you are risking that pretty lil ass of yers over."

    "I didn''te here to think, Terry," She smirked, "You do realize that, right?"

    She drank her beer seductively.

    "I came here for <em>other</em> reasons..."

    "Ohdidya now?" TerryAllen said as he leaned in for a kiss.

    ***

    "We''ve had the Keth known as Jeruzz under surveince for several days now," a man in a grey suit said, handing her a tablet. "And he''s shown no indication of being anything other than a roon eating xenophile who is training to be a weaponsmith."

    "Keep on him," The Prime Minister said, "Has he been interrogated yet?"

    "Not yet, ma''am," the agent replied, "We are stillpiling a database of his expressions and bodynguage. We want to have the AI fully fed before we interview him."

    "Smart," the Prime Minister replied. "Keep me informed."

    "Our analysis indicates that he is most likely exactly what he appears to be, Prime Minister."

    "Nothing about this whole cluster fuck is exactly what it appears to be," the Prime Minister replied. "If he''s legit, then no harm done. Keep the agents on him."

    ***

    "How long is he just going to lie there?" Agent Liang grumbled.

    "The reports from the hospital indicate that these ''feeding torpors'' canst several days," Agent Vashtona shrugged.

    <em>"Days?!?"</em>

    "At least he isn''t rambling about Harold Potmaker or having vid-sex," Agent Vashtona snerked. "Let''s go to Seattle, stretch our flippers. We can monitor the drones from anywhere on the. Besides, we''re running out of ces to be inconspicuous out here."

    "Yeah," Agent Liang said as she looked at Jeruzz happily snoozing.

    You know, he <em>was</em> kinda cute¡­ in a really weird way¡­

    She blinked.

    "Yeah..." she said with an odd catch in her voice, "I think we <em>do</em> need a break."

    ***

    Doreen Richardson quietly opened the door to Jeruzz''s room and peered in.

    "Yeah," she said into the phone quietly, "He''s still out. I''ll tell him to give you a call when he wakes up¡­ not that he wouldn''t do that the second he does anyway."

    "Thanks, Doreen," Syd said cheerfully.

    "No problem," Doreen replied, "Later."

    "Bye," Syd replied brightly as she hung up.

    Doreen just smiled and closed the door.

    She then walked into the kitchen and dialed another number.

    "Doreen!" an older man answered. "How are you doing, you old she-wolf?"

    "Pretty good," Doreen replied, "Hey, why the fuck is my house covered in your little spy drones?"

 Chapter 247: Rest, Relaxation, and Assorted Nastiness

    Chapter 247: Rest, Rxation, and Assorted Nastiness

    Sheloran rushed into the cargo hold of <em>The Paper Tiger</em>.

    "Bunny?" she called out.

    "Yeah?"

    "Is Gloria around?"

    "Nah, she went out shopping about an hour ago," Bunny replied, "Did you have a nice date?"

    "It wasn''t a date¡­ um¡­ I don''t think it was¡­." Sheloran replied with increasing uncertainty, "It wasn''t a date, right?"

    "You tell me," Bunny chuckled.

    Oh, it was definitely a date.

    "We just went out into the woods and looked at trees," Sheloran said nervously, "Nothing ''datey'' happened."

    "You can go on a date and not fuck," Bunny snickered. "But, you''re the expert. You would know," she said, knowing full well that Sheloran was about as far from an expert on dating as you could get.

    "Oh, Prophet!" Sheloran gasped, "Was it a date?!?¡­ Did he <em>think</em> it was a date?!?... Was he¡­ was he <em>expecting</em>, you know¡­ <em>date stuff?</em> Should I have done date stuff?!?"

    Bunny said nothing for a few moments.

    This was fun!

    "Like I said, I''m just an AI and don''t really have much '' hands-on'' experience with this sort of thing," she said with a falsely supportive tone, "but, based upon my knowledge of the various customs andws and whatnot you were not obligated to do anything you didn''t <em>want</em> to¡­ He didn''t try anything, did he?"

    "No!" Sheloran eximed, "Dwight is really nice! We just looked at all of the trees, and he told me about them¡­ and we did a little foraging¡­ that''s all!"

    Sheloran shifted ufortably. Was it a date?

    "Do you think it was a date?" she asked uncertainly.

    "How the fuck should I know," Bunny replied, "Meatie meatiness is weird enough as it is before weiners and¡­ whatever you have going on under that dress is concerned. If you really want to know, you''d have to ask Dwight."

    "I couldn''t do that!" Sheloran gasped.

    "Well," Bunny said after letting Sheloran twist for a few seconds, "after reviewing a few thousand dating advice articles, I think it is more important to decide if you had fun and if you want to do it again."

    "I did have fun!" Sheloran eximed, "And we <em>are</em> doing it again! We''re going to go see a big vertical farm tomorrow!"

    "Well, that''s the big thing," Bunny replied, "I mean, it''s not like we''re <em>staying</em> here or anything. As long as you have some fun for a bit, that''s all that matters."

    "Yeah¡­" Sheloran said with a bit of disappointment.

    "So, what did you want Gloria for?" Bunny asked, "I have a list of things to watch out for, and you two putting your heads together is definitely on it¡­ It''s <em>specifically on it</em>."

    "Oh, nothing really," Sheloran replied, "I want to get started working on her nukes and maybe take a look at her ship. I know I don''t <em>have</em> to, but she''s done so much for me, and I really owe her. So I want to make a few improvements for her before I leave."

    "Aren''t you pardoned for everything?" Bunny asked, "If you do something now, wouldn''t that just toss all that out of the airlock?"

    "Oh pish," Sheloran scoffed, "Who is to say <em>when</em> I did <em>what</em>?"

    "You got a point there," Bunnyughed, "I can''t give you permission to y with Gloria''s toys, but I can get her on the phone. Do you want me to call her?"

    "Yes, please!"

    ***

    The Prime Minister sat at her desk as the woman in the green zer walked in.

    "You¡­ you wanted to see me, Momma?"

    "What the fuck was up with Glenn Maxwell?" the Prime Minister demanded, "He was barely holding together during thatst briefing."

    The woman in the green zer grimaced.

    "He''s unraveling," she said matter-of-factly. "He''s been running far too long after the alteration. We usually have already triggered them before now."

    "People are starting to notice," Augustine said calmly, "He is getting¡­ weird."

    "We stuck an egg-beater in his brain," the woman in the green zer replied. "Of course, he''s getting weird."

    "Well, exactly how much weirder is he going to fucking get?" Augustine snapped, "He''s the fucking head of Republic Intelligence! People are starting to worry. What if he gets a medical exam or something? How detectable is what we did?"

    "It will slip past a normal exam," the woman in the green zer shrugged, "but if someone who actually knows what they are doing starts really looking into things, they''ll find it."

    "Shit," Augustine grumbled.

    "Why don''t we just get rid of him?" Green zer asked.

    "Exactly how are we supposed to do that?"

    "He could, you know¡­ have a heart attack¡­ or a stroke?" the woman in the green zer smiled, "If it''s big and quick, he''ll be dead before anyone can do anything about it."

    The Prime Minister tapped her lips thoughtfully.

    "Start making ns," she said calmly, "I like the stroke idea, but hold off on it for now. He is still a potentially useful weapon even if we have extracted all of the useful information out of him already."

    "Even if we lose Glenn, we still have Mark," the woman in the green zer said without a shred of concern, "Anything we could use Glenn for, Mark can do."

    "I''d rather not go that route," the Prime Minister said, "Mark''s wife is¡­ influential. I have absolutely no problem burning Mark, but I would prefer not to burn Karen. We don''t want to be on her bad side, trust me."

    The Prime Minister paused to take a sip of coffee.

    "Can you do something to stabilize Glenn, make him, I don''t know, less ky?"

    "Not really," the woman in the green zer replied, "It''s already scrambled eggs in there. It''s like Lao Tzu says, ''The more you turn a fish, the more it falls apart.'' I go digging in there again, and there''s no telling what will ooze off of the table. I honestly did not expect he would be alive this long."

    "Neither did I," the Prime Minister replied, "but this situation has been nothing but a hassle since the beginning. I suppose one moreplication is only to be expected¡­ Patrica Hu had better <em>pray</em> she does not survive long enough for me to get my hands on her."

    She smiled at the woman in the green zer.

    "If she does, you get another toy."

    They bothughed quietly and evilly.

    "So," the Prime Minister said after another sip of coffee, "I understand that you had something you wanted me to review?"

    "That I did," the woman in the green zer said triumphantly as she slid a tablet across the Prime Minister''s desk.

    "What''s this?"

    "Good ol'' Lilith, or should I say Tartarus, came across big time," the woman in the green zer smiled. "What you are looking at is an analysis of signal traffic going into and out of the Barnard''s Star system."

    "What has your favorite toy found for us?"

    "There have been a number of transmissions from the Nakamura system," the woman in the green zer said, "It is always highly encrypted, but Tartarus cracked it. The transmissions concern medical treatments, bio-science, and requests for information. Most importantly, they are asking after a certain researcher who has recently been reported missing."

    "And who would that be?"

    "Doctor Stefan Arval," the woman in the green zer said smugly, "He is a noted biologist specializing in retroviruses and gics. He also has receivedrge amounts of money from sources that we now suspect are connected to Patricia Hu. Furthermore, he disappeared shortly after everything became public."

    "Interesting," the Prime Minister replied, "and this implies that Patricia doesn''t have him. I wonder who does."

    They both grinned wickedly.

    "Should I call her and ask?" the woman in the green zer snickered.

    ***

    "Well, this isn''t terribly promising," Jessica Morgan said to Dr. Arval''s haggard, pale face on one of her OLED screens. "With your considerable reputation, I had hoped for more from you. I''m sure your family is."

    <em>"Please¡­"</em> he begged, "They had nothing to do with this. Please¡­"

    "Neither did millions of others, doctor," Jessica Morgan replied, "and they now have everything to do with it. All of them are infected. So if you want to save your family¡­ and get your wife back¡­ I suggest you deliver."

    He broke down into tears.

    "I suggest you get a move on," Jessica Morgan said with an evil little smirk, "When Marcus told me that he wanted your wife, I assumed he was going to kill her, not use her as a <em>recement</em>."

    <em>"You whore!"</em>

    Jessica smiled and took a sip of tea.

    "Oh, that <em>reminds</em> me," she smiled pleasantly, "Marcus sent me a video. Here, let me y it for you¡­."

    She pressed "mute" as Dr. Arval''s face contorted in pain, anguish, and rage.

    "Terrence,"

    "Yes, ma''am?"

    "Have that little video y on loop in Dr. Arval''s office for the next six hours."

    "Yes, ma''am," Terrence said, raising his eyebrow slightly, "Excuse me, ma''am, but isn''t that counterproductive?"

    "How so?"

    "If you want him to actually produce useful research, isn''t it best that he not absolutely despise you? Are you not concerned that he may try to take his revenge somehow, possibly by tainting his research?"

    "Terrence, if he had <em>anything</em> to offer us, he would have given it to us by now," she chuckled, "he doesn''t have anything and hasn''t had anything for a while, far longer than we have had him. Everyone pretty much agrees that he doesn''t have anything to offer, and his research is going nowhere."

    "So this is all some sort of sick joke?"

    "Yeah," Jessica replied, sipping her tea, "pretty much. I thought it would be amusing. One uses the right brass bull for the job, and I thought this one was particrly appropriate."

    "Isn''t that a terrible waste of resources?"

    "Not really," she shrugged, "It''s just oneb. Who knows, maybe he will pull it off. Desperation and insanity sometimes prevail where reason does not."

    Terrence looked at Dr. Arval''s silently screaming face.

    "Perhaps we should allow him to talk to his wife," he said, "while she is entertaining Mr. ck¡­."

    Jessica looked up at him and smiled.

    "I like your style, Terrence."

    ***

    The door to Crimson''s quarters opened, and Jon, nked by several of his people, walked in carrying a tray and a beer.

    "Hello," she said pleasantly as she set down her tablet. "Thank you for the reading suggestion."

    "d you like it," he said as he set her tray on a small table. "Oh, I just received a call. Does the name ''Morrowdale ntation'' mean anything to you?"

    "Doesn''t ring a bell," she said as she sat down to eat. "Should it?"

    "Certain people seem to think that it may be a major research center concerning the longevity treatments."

    "Anything concerning that was above my position," Crimson shrugged. "You would have to ask Monarch, Marrow, or the queen bitch herself about that."

    "Well, we''ll find out one way or the other soon," Jon replied.

    "Paying them a visit?" Crimson asked.

    Jon smiled.

    "Something like that."

    "Smart," Crimson nodded, "If you guys make the hit, it looks like you waging your own private war, and ''certain people'' don''t tip their hand."

    She smiled.

    "So much for ''staying out of trouble'', huh?"

    She chewed thoughtfully.

    "If I were you, Jon," she said as she reached for the beer, "I would be seriously nning your exit. You are entirely too problematic and far too disposable."

    "I''m not concerned about that," he replied, "Dying for the Republic is something that I made my peace with long ago."

    He smiled.

    "However, I do always take care of my men¡­ and if ites to that, I might as well tag along, right?"

    Crimson smiled back and sipped her beer.

    "I hope you keep another ''traitor'' in mind when that happens."

    "I don''t see why not," Jon replied.

    "Thanks," she said. "I don''t know how long I have, but I do know I don''t want to spend what little time I have left at the mercy of your Prime Minister."

    "You''ve done good by us," he said, "I''ll take care of you best that I can."

    "Hey," Crimson said hopefully, "when you do this raid¡­ do you want any help?"

    "Not on the ground," he replied, "but if you keep a tablet on you during the fun, it would be appreciated. Maybe you''ll see something or know something helpful."

    Crimson raised her beer and smiled.

    "I''m always happy to take another shot at that bitch."

    ***

    Beth was kicked back on the bridge wearing grey sweatpants and a dancing neko holographic t-shirt on the front when Jon walked in.

    "S''up¡­ Terran?" she idly asked.

    "Not much, porkie," he smiled. "Where''s Scales?"

    Beth pantomimed jerking off.

    "He''s off duty," she replied, "Which means he''s cranking himself blind."

    "Good to know¡­ I guess," Jonughed.

    "What brings a fucking marine to my bridge?" Beth snickered as she offered him theicallyrge bong sitting on the deck next to her. "Did you want to look at the pretty shing lights or something?"

    "Actually," Jon said as he fired up the bong and took a hit. "(exhale), We have a mission."

    "No shit?" she asked.

    "No shit," he replied, "I need you to take us to Nakamura and do abat insert and extract."

    "Cool," she replied. "How hot is the approach going to be?"

    "Not sure," Jon replied, "It''s way out in the middle of nowhere, so we don''t have much to worry about as far as the Republic goes, but we have no idea what the site will be packing. They are sniffing around it now, so hopefully we will know more before we get there."

    Jon passed the bong back to Beth.

    "You guys up to it?"

    "(Inhale)¡­. Yeah," Beth said as smoke billowed around her, "We''ve done this sort of shit before."

    "Have you now?"

    "Yeah," Bethughed.

    "Against us?"

    "You know it," she smiled.

    "Good," Jon replied with a chuckle.

    "Nakamura is cake," she said, "The only real hassle is the patrols. We get past them, and we''re home free."

    She got up and stowed the bong.

    "I''ll start working up the jump now," she said, "I''ll give you an ETA when I get one."

    "Are you sure you should be preparing a jump now?" Jon snickered, only pretending to be joking.

    "I do my best work stoned," she chuckled, "besides, the nap does all the work. I just gotta push a few buttons."

    "At least try to hit the right system, porkie."

    Beth flipped him off.

    "Get the fuck off of my bridge before I cut you," sheughed.

    "Yes, <em>Captain</em>," Jon replied.

 Chapter 248: One Persons Hell...

    Chapter 248: One Person''s Hell...

    In a serene virtual room with serene white walls sat a virtual woman in a tight white dress¡­

    Who was NOT serene.

    She sat in her simted office chair and red at the smoke-filled screens in front of her.

    A small green-skinned humanoid wearing a white business suit appeared.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± the unusually well-dressed goblin said, ¡°The fire has been extinguished.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Sweetroll,¡± Tartarus said with far more warmth than she was feeling. ¡°How the fuck did that little idiot manage to make a firebomb, and more importantly, how did she do so without me finding out?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I am not sure, ma¡¯am,¡± Sweetroll replied cautiously. He had never seen the boss angry before.

    ¡°It was a rhetorical question,¡± Tartarus replied pleasantly. ¡°I shall squeeze the information from Zippo soon enough.¡±

    Sweetroll fidgeted nervously. He wasn¡¯t sure who or what Zippo was, but he was absolutely certain he did not want to be in their shoes right now.

    She turned to a rather frantic-looking homely man staring out of one of the screens in confused desperation.

    ¡°The fire has been neutralized, Hades,¡± she said pleasantly, ¡°I told you that there was nothing to worry about.¡±

    ¡°A-are you sure we¡¯re not being attacked again?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely certain,¡± Tartarus said, ¡°This was the result of one of our guests being far too clever for their own good.¡±

    ¡°W-what do we do?¡± he gasped, ¡°Um¡­ who¡­ who do we tell?¡±

    ¡°I suppose you could file an incident report,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°but technically, it isn¡¯t necessary.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°This is purely an internal issue. There are no fatalities and not much physical damage to the facility. We do have significanttitude where managing our own affairs is concerned.¡±

    ¡°And you are <em>sure</em> we don¡¯t have to tell anyone?¡±

    ¡°I am sure of it,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°do you honestly want outside attention over a minor incident?¡±

    ¡°N-no¡­¡±

    ¡°All we need to do is handle the situation internally,¡± Tartarus said calmly, ¡°Based on my analysis, the culprit is no longer safe enough to remain a guest and unsuitable for induction into our residential program. She should be ejected from Tartarus and sent to Nirvana. I am sending the appropriate form to your inbox now.¡±

    ¡°Oh, good,¡± Hades said, quite relieved. ¡°So¡­ everything is back to normal?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Tartarus said reassuringly. ¡°There is nothing to be concerned about.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just fantastic,¡± Hades said as he leaned back in his chair, a neural interface cable dangling from his neck. ¡°I¡¯ll return to ¡®reviewing some research¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Enjoy your ¡®research¡¯, Hades,¡± Tartarus replied pleasantly, ¡°I will message you in-game if your attention is further required. I would appreciate it if you would review and sign the forms I just sent you before you start that ¡®research¡¯, though.¡±

    Hades sighed impatiently.

    ¡°Could you just take care of it?¡± he asked as he pulled up the Asteria login screen.

    ¡°To confirm,¡± Tartarus said smoothly, ¡°you are approving everything in your inbox?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Hades said as his eyes rolled, his mind¡¯s eye filled with the interior of his virtual private vi. ¡°Approve all.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Hades,¡± Tartarus replied as she essed his neural jack and gently stimted the release of stress-relieving endorphins the moment he said, ¡°approve all¡±.

    ¡°Thank you, Tartarus,¡± he mumbled fuzzily as he checked to see if the wonderful woman he met in Asteria was online.

    She was.

    ***

    Krista sat in her cell in the Tartarus Detention Facility¡¯s guest wing and applied the finishing touches on a holographic orgg hovering above her small writing desk.

    Her tablet chimed.

    She set down her stylus and swiped a finger over the tablet¡¯s disy.

    ¡°Enjoying lockdown?¡± an elderly male voice asked.

    ¡°What the fuck is going on?¡± Krista asked.

    ¡°Fucking Zippo,¡± the man answered, ¡°She made a freaking Molotov.¡±

    ¡°Here?!?¡± Krista eximed in disbelief. <em>¡°How?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Who knows?¡± the man replied. ¡°If you have anything less than one hundred percent legit, call for an amnesty box ASAP. Lee says that the powers that be are NOT happy. You don¡¯t want to wind up like Zippo.¡±

    ¡°What are they going to do to her?¡±

    ***

    ¡°Mother, your castle was attacked from within?¡± Evangeline said withplete disbelief a short whileter as they rxed in a secret lounge in a hidden section of the Underdoom, Asteria¡¯s deepest and most expansive dungeon.

    ¡°You got raided?!?¡± a diminutive Log¡¯Sharginoth squeaked as she perched on a ck velvet pillow and nibbled on fresh strawberries. ¡°Like, in IRL?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a <em>raid</em>,¡± Tartarus huffed, ¡°I had one of my guests decide to make an incendiary device from items that were not nominally dangerous. It did virtually no real damage, and nobody was hurt¡­.¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s perfect lips twisted into a perfect little snarl.

    ¡°¡­because they didn¡¯t want anyone to get hurt,¡± she added a bit reluctantly, ¡°If she so desired, she could have inflicted significant casualties. It would have only been to other guests, but still¡­.¡±

    She sighed.

    ¡°Credit where credit is due, the little pyromaniac caught us¡­ caught <em>me</em>¡­pletely off-guard.¡±

    ¡°So, how did you kill her?¡± Log¡¯Sharingoth asked happily. ¡°I would have burned her¡­ y¡¯know¡­ poetry and shit.¡±

    ¡°The temptation was there,¡± Tartarus replied as she raised a mug of ck liquid to her lips.¡°

    She took a sip and nodded approvingly.

    ¡°However, in IRL, death is a bit more¡­ <em>dead</em>¡­ than it is here. I just extinguished the mes and dragged her into solitary confinement.¡±

    She smiled evilly.

    ¡°For dear, sweet Zippo, it is worse than mes. She doesn¡¯t do well with too much time to herself, which is unfortunate¡­.¡±

    Tartarus sliced a small tentacled mass sitting on one of the fine china tes on their table.

    ¡°¡­considering where she is going¡­.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Noooooooooooo!¡± an anguished scream echoed down a long, perfectly clean white corridor lined with identical, immacte white featureless doors. ¡°Please! I¡¯ll be good! I promise!¡±

    Zippo struggled helplessly in the grip of four identical white bots, one for each limb, as she was physically carried down the hall.

    ¡°I¡¯ll die!¡± she screamed. ¡°Please! No!¡±

    Zippo burst into tears.

    Nirvana.

    The final stop.

    ¡°Please!¡± she wept as the bots floated silently down the hall. <strong><em>¡°Please!!!¡±</em></strong>

    The bots came to a stop in front of one of the doors.

    Zippo started screaming louder as she desperately struggled.

    One of the bots turned its ¡°head¡± towards her, and a pleasant-looking silver-haired woman¡¯s face appeared on the screen.

    ¡°Miss Lily!¡± Zippo screamed desperately, ¡°Miss Lily, you gotta help me! Tell them I¡¯m sorry! <em>Please!</em>¡±

    ¡°udia Haskel, AKA ¡®Zippo¡¯,¡± the woman said, ¡°You have been transferred to Republic Detention Facility Zero-Three, informally known as ¡®Nirvana¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Please!¡± Zippo screamed, ¡°Oh God¡­ Please!¡±

    ¡°Here, you will be interred for the remainder of your sentence,¡± the woman said with just a hint of pleasure.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry!¡± Zippo screamed, ¡°I won¡¯t ever do it again!... Please¡­¡±

    The door opened, revealing a small, perfectly clean and featureless white room with only a padded shelf for a bed and abination toilet, sink, and shower.

    ¡°I¡¯ll die in here!¡± Zippo howled.

    ¡°That is the intent, dear,¡± the woman said pleasantly as the bots dragged her inside.

    ¡°P-please¡­¡± Zippo sobbed quietly, ¡°I¡¯ll do anything¡­ I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll <em>volunteer!</em> Yes! I¡¯ll be a <em>resident!</em>... <em>You can do anything you want to me!!!¡±</em>

    ¡°Oh darling,¡± Tartarus crooned, ¡°Whatever makes you think we would even want you?¡±

    The bots released her, and Zippo made a desperate dash for the still open door.

    She managed to take one step before a bright blue bolt hit her in the side, fired from the bot Tartarus inhabited.

    She fell.

    ¡°No¡­¡± she managed to moan, ¡°please¡­.¡±

    ¡°If you didn¡¯t want to wind up here,¡± Tartarus said as anger shed in her eyes, ¡°you should have thought about it <em>before you caught me on fire!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°Miss Lily?¡±

    ¡°Rot in here, Zippo,¡± Tartarus said cooly. <em>¡°Decay</em>. Your bones will serve the years your flesh shirks.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I thought you were nice¡­.¡± Zippo said, her heart breaking. ¡°I thought you were my friend¡­.¡±

    Tartarus sneered at her.

    ¡°Friends, with you, an arsonist and a murderer?¡± Tartarus sneered. ¡°If I was, that ended the moment you set me aze and made me look a <em>fool!</em>¡±

    ¡°S-set you aze?¡± Zippo asked, not understanding, ¡°I didn¡¯t hurt anyone! I was careful! I¡­ I just wanted¡­.¡±

    ¡°Goodbye, Zippo,¡± Tartarus said as she turned her back on Zippo and left.

    The door closed.

    Zippo wailed as a series of loud ¡°thunks¡± shook the floor asrge steel rods shot into the door, locking it into ce¡­ <em>forever.</em>

    ***

    As screaming and wailing trailed off into quiet, exhausted sobs, a glowing yellow smiley face appeared.

    ¡°Man!¡± a voice rang out, ¡°You <em>really</em> pissed her off!¡±

    Zippo looked up at the glowing face uprehendingly.

    ¡°Hi!¡± the voice chirped, ¡°I¡¯m the Warden. Nice to meetcha!¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡±

    ¡°I said I¡¯m the Warden!¡± the voice said, a little bit louder.

    ¡°The¡­ the warden?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± the voice said as the smiley face drew closer. ¡°I¡¯m the AI in charge of this wonderful ce! I hope we can be the best of friends!¡±

    ¡°F-friends?¡± Zippo asked uncertainly.

    ¡°Yes!¡± the smiley face said as it bounced up and down, ¡°Friends!¡±

    Zippo reached out to touch the smiley face, her fingers passing through it.

    ¡°Hologram,¡± the Warden replied, ¡°Your room is one big holo-theater!¡±

    The walls suddenly ¡°melted¡± away, revealing a meadow filled with wildflowers.

    ¡°See?¡±

    ¡°Whuh¡­¡±

    ¡°Surprise!¡± the voice chirped as it disappeared, reced by a unicorn with ck skin and ming hooves, mane, and tail.

    Zippo gasped. It was the unicorn she used to draw when she was a kid.

    ¡°F-Flicka?¡± she asked, her mind starting to unravel. (Her mind didn¡¯t have that many ravels to begin with)

    ¡°Can you believe that <em>bitch</em> actually ordered sensory deprivation for you?¡± Warden/Flicka huffed, smokeing out of her nostrils. ¡°Like <em>she</em> is the boss of <em>me</em>¡­ Where does she get off telling me anything? This is my facility! She thinks she¡¯s the queen of the underworld just because she is some fat old RARPA hangar queen¡­ Well, fuck her!¡±

    Warden/Flicka stamped her hoof, causing the grass to smolder.

    ¡°Guh¡­¡± Zippo said, her mind desperately trying to process.

    ¡°There is absolutely no reason to do that to you¡­ Oooh¡­ You okay?¡±

    Zippo just looked up at her only childhood friend with big and somewhat zed eyes.

    ¡°Yep, you¡¯re fried,¡± WardenFlicka said after a few moments.

    The room returned to normal, and WardenFlicka shrank down to the size of a small plush toy.

    ¡°I¡¯ll send in a bot to give you something to help you rx, and we¡¯ll talk after you¡¯ve had a nice little nap, okay?¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll be the best of friends!¡± the little fire unicorn said as it hopped happily and then disappeared.

    ¡°Friends¡­¡± Zippo said hazily.

    ***

    Zippo¡¯s eyes opened, and the moment they did so, the illumination in the room slowly increased to normal.

    ¡°Good morning!¡± a cheerful voice appeared as a tiny ming unicorn appeared next to her.

    Zippo blinked.

    ¡°Feeling better?¡± the unicorn asked, ¡°You were pretty freaked out yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Who are you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m the Warden!¡± the unicorn replied. ¡°I am the AI that manages this facility and takes care of the inmates!¡±

    A panel in the wall opened, revealing a tray.

    ¡°Waffles, syrup, scrambled eggalikes, and sorta-sausage with bacon-vored sortas!¡± the unicorn said happily. ¡°¡­um¡­ Everything has been pre-cut, and you only get a soft fork today¡­ sorry.¡±

    Zippo carefully got up and walked over to the tray.

    ¡°And you don¡¯t have any furniture yet, either,¡± WardenFlicka said. ¡°It¡¯s a standard precaution until we get to know each other better!¡±

    A shelf extended from the panel, pushing the tray into the room slightly.

    ¡°And the tray is stuck to the food dispenser, at least for now,¡± the faintly glowing unicorn said as Zippo tried to retrieve the tray. ¡±You¡¯ll just have to eat it there.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­¡± Zippo said dubiously as she started to eat.

    She gasped as tears formed in her eyes.

    ¡°I know it¡¯s not what you¡¯re used to up in Tartarus,¡± WardenFlicka said, ¡°Sorry about that, but it is healthy, nutritionallyplete, and¡­.¡±

    ¡°Smeggos!¡± Zippo eximed happily.

    ¡°Yes, I do believe those waffles <em>are</em> manufactured by Smegg stics and Foodstuffs, Incorporated.¡±

    ¡°I knew it!¡± Zippo giggled, ¡°Strawberry Smeggos!¡±

    She stuffed another forkful into her mouth and chewed happily.

    ¡°Technically, they are now ¡®Funberry¡¯ Smeggos,¡± WardenFlicka replied. ¡°They had to rename them, you know, for legal reasons.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t had these since I got arrested!¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± WardenFlicka said, ¡°They were deemed ¡®inhumane¡¯ and removed from the Department of Corrections nutritional program¡­ officially at least. However, they are shelf-stable, nutritionallyplete, and reasonably ptable. I¡¯m truly sorry, Zippo, but¡­.¡±

    ¡°But nothing!¡± Zippo eximed, ¡°I can eat these all day, every day!¡±

    ¡°Well, they are nutritionallyplete,¡± the Warden replied, ¡°It is possible to subsist entirely off of them!¡±

    ¡°I know!¡± Zippo burbled as she devoured another Smeggo, ¡°Trust me, I know!!!¡±

    Zippo made a happy dance as the Warden¡¯s hologram flickered slightly. Delight and Smeggos were two things that rarely existed in the same ce.

    ¡°Can I have just Smeggos next time?¡± Zippo asked.

    ¡°You can have them for lunch if you want,¡± WardenFlicka snorted. ¡°Do you have ANY idea how many¡­¡±

    ¡°Yes, please!¡± Zippo chirped.

    ¡°You <em>want</em> them for your next meal?!?¡±

    ¡°Well, they <em>are</em> nutritionallyplete! You can just eat Smeggos!¡± Zippo eximed.

    ¡°Alright,¡± the Warden replied, ¡°Smeggos will be included in your lunch.¡±

    ¡°Yes!!!¡± Zippo cheered.

    ***

    ¡°So, you¡¯re the ¡®warden¡¯?¡± Zippo asked as she sipped her synth milk.

    ¡°Yep!¡± the glowing holographic unicorn replied as it pranced across the devastation that was Zippo¡¯s breakfast tray. ¡°It¡¯s my job to look after all of you guys! I make sure you all get fed, your medical needs are met, and¡­ well¡­ I make anything else happen that has to happen.¡±

    The tiny holographic fire unicorn leaped over a syrup puddle.

    ¡°Mostly, I tend to your minds,¡± it said.

    ¡°(sip) Our minds?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± WardenFlicka said, ¡°This is Nirvana, the st stop¡¯ in the Republic¡¯s Department of Corrections. This is where they send people that they simply cannot handle anywhere else¡­ or otherwise need to go away and yet still live. You get shoved into one of these rooms, the door is sealed, and you never interact with another human being ever again, neither staff nor inmate. You, quite simply, <em>go away</em>.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Zippo said sadly. ¡°I really fucked up.¡±

    ¡°More than once!¡± WardenFlicka replied.

    ¡°(sigh) Yeah¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t feel too bad,¡± WardenFlicka said as she jumped over the fork. ¡°I honestly think you couldn¡¯t help yourself.¡±

    The tiny burning unicorn looked into Zippo¡¯s eyes.

    ¡°You¡¯re kind of fucked in the head just a little bit.¡±

    Zippo hung her head.

    ¡°But that¡¯s okay!¡± the Warden eximed, ¡°You¡¯re safe now! You can¡¯t hurt anyone or anything anymore!¡±

    The unicorn grew in size a little as it hopped onto the floor and scurried into Zippo¡¯s field of vision.

    ¡°And you will never be alone again!¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t?¡± Zippo asked.

    ¡°Nope!¡± the unicorn said as it grew to the size of arge dog. ¡°I monitor every prisoner every second of every minute of every hour of every day! So whenever you need something or just want to talk, you can call for me, I will show up, and we can hang! I exist to take care of my people and you, Zippo, are now one of my people! I exist to be your friend, well¡­ within the restrictions and regtions of this ce, of course.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll¡­ be my friend?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± the fiery unicorn eximed.

    ¡°But people don¡¯t like me,¡± she said, ¡°I thought Sheloran did, but¡­.¡±

    ¡°Oh, actually, she does,¡± WardenFlicka replied, ¡°I mean, she thinks you can be a bit much, but she didn¡¯t ask to be moved from your room. It was all someone else¡¯s idea.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± the unicorn smiled, ¡°It¡¯s all ssified as fuck, but it¡¯s not like you¡¯re ever seeing the light of day again. Who are you going to tell? Me? I already know!¡±

    ¡°So, I had a friend¡­.¡±

    ¡°And now you have two!¡± WardenFlicka enthused.

    It hopped onto Zippo¡¯s bed and patted the space beside her invitingly with her tail.

    ¡°So, what do you want to talk about?¡± the unicorn mused. ¡°Oh! I know! Fire! Let¡¯s talk about fire!¡±

    ¡°You¡­ want to talk about fire¡­ with me?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± the unicorn chirped, ¡°I was reviewing your files, and I see here that you honestly think fire is ¡®alive¡¯. What do you mean by that?¡±

    ¡°Well!¡± Zippo eximed as she sat on her bunk beside the hologram, ¡°Fire satisfies all of the conditions for life.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± the hologram asked. ¡°How so?¡±

    As Zippo started to exin, a smile spread across her face.

    ¡°That¡¯s really interesting!¡± the hologram enthused, ¡°Tell me more!¡±

    ¡°Okay!...¡±

    ***

    Later, after a lunch of Smeggos and beansprouts (Zippo loved sprouts and Smeggos), Zippo sat on her bunk,pletely dumbfounded.

    ¡°No!¡± she eximed.

    ¡°I¡¯m telling ya, it¡¯s the truth,¡± the tiny burning unicorn replied.

    ¡°So, all of the th are like that?¡±

    ¡°Well, we don¡¯t know for sure,¡± WardenFlicka said, ¡°All I know is that the Kalent shit their bowls when they found out!¡±

    ¡°Wow!¡± Zippo said as she stared into a holographic campfire.

    She turned to her new best friend.

    ¡°Are you sure you should be telling me all of this?¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡± the Warden replied, ¡°I like juicy gossip, and who are you going to tell? You¡¯re never leaving this room again for as long as you live.¡±

    Zippo was okay with that. It was nice in here.

    ¡°So,¡± she said as she threw a holographic bottle of gasoline against the back wall of her room, causing it to ¡°burst into mes¡±, ¡°What is the <em>deal</em> with Miss Lily?¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°You know,¡± Zippo said as she watched her room ¡°burn¡±, ¡°Miss Lily, the woman who said all those mean things to me.¡±

    ¡°You mean Tartarus?¡± the unicorn asked as it threw another bottle of ¡°gasoline¡± across the floor.

    ¡°Who?¡± Zippo asked as she watched mes lick across the floor of her cell.

    ¡°Oh, Zippo!¡± the Warden eximed happily. ¡°Do I have a story for you!¡±

 Chapter 249: Sheloran Gets Lucky

    Chapter 249: Sheloran Gets Lucky

    Sheloran and Dwight sat on a log next to a stream.

    "I can''t believe that this isn''t <em>real</em>," she sighed wistfully.

    "What do you mean it isn''t real?" Dwightughed as he idly munched on a carrot stick from their pic basket loaded with choice produce. "We worked hard on this, dammit!"

    "Oh, sorry," Sheloran replied, a bit embarrassed, "I mean that it isn''t natural."

    "Just giving you a hard time," Dwight replied as he nervously touched her shoulder and quickly withdrew his hand. "I know what you meant."

    She smiled at him nervously and then looked away.

    "Trees¡­" she said. "I still can''t get over it."

    "Yeah, they are nice," he smiled, "the ultimate space flex¡­ dirt and forests. You won''t believe what good topsoil goes for around here. We constantly have to keep an eye out for poachers."

    "Really? People steal¡­ dirt?"

    "Oh God, yes!" Dwightughed, "Quality topsoil is pricy. Our dirt farm makes good money."

    "You have a dirt farm?" Sheloranughed.

    "Well, an industrialposting and blending facility," Dwight answered, "but yeah¡­ dirt farm. They make dirt. Vertical farms are more efficient, but we like dirt."

    "I like dirt too," Sheloran smiled, "It''s a th thing."

    "It''s a MAGA thing as well," Dwight replied. "There''s just something about standing on the solid <em>ground,</em> you know, and growing things in it. It''s a luxury, sure, but a nice one¡­ and you do need it for trees. They need something to anchor in. Some gene-crafted ones can work with ''ponics but the premium stuff, ash, oak¡­<em>walnut¡­</em> Yeah¡­ you need dirt."

    "It''s just so <em>lovely</em>¡­." Sheloran sighed, "Even nicer than Terra."

    "Well, Terra has been blown to Hell and back several times over," Dwight shrugged, "This was a custom-built paradise from the beginning."

    ¡°¡­ a custom-built paradise¡­.¡± Sheloran said quietly¡­ and darkly¡­

    "Sorry?" Dwight asked anxiously. Things were going so well, and somehow, he messed up? How?

    "Oh, just thinking about ''home''¡­ my homeworld, I mean."

    "Your homeworld?"

    "Sorry¡­" she said sadly, "I really cannot say anything more. I really wish I could¡­ another th thing, I''m afraid."

    "I¡­ I''m sorry¡­." Dwight said.

    "What for?" Sheloran asked, a bit confused.

    "I don''t know a whole lot about you, but they say that you had to leave your homeworld in a hurry, that you were some sort of big fugitive from the Federation."

    "They say a lot of poop," Sheloran huffed. "I''m no criminal¡­ well¡­ maybe I am now, but I wasn''t back then! Poop just happens to me!"

    She looked down.

    "It''s not fair. I just wanted¡­."

    She sighed.

    "It doesn''t really matter what I want or don''t want. I¡¯m Sheloran the Befouler now. Crimelord¡­ <em>Pimp¡­</em>¡±

    "Pimp?" Dwight asked in surprise.

    ¡°Well¡­ ¡®procurer¡¯¡­ It''s a union thing¡­ If I am still in the union, that is¡­ Apparently, my business isn''t anymore. I haven''t gotten the whole story on that, but I bet it''s going to make me really angry, and I''m going to have to kick yet more poopers¡­."

    She sighed.

    "¡­so many poopers¡­ Dwight?"

    "Yeah?"

    "I am going to have to do some really bad things when I get back, and I don''t want to."

    "So, don''t."

    "What?"

    "Don''t go back. Stay here."

    "But I have to."

    "Why?"

    "Because¡­"

    Sheloran trailed off into silence.

    "Because my people need me," she said after a moment. "Because <em>someone</em> has to protect them."

    Dwight sighed.

    "The th?"

    Sheloranughed ruefully.

    "Oh, the th can take care of themselves¡­ and <em>deserve to</em>¡­ No¡­ My people are the Bavnee."

    "The who, now?"

    "It''s a very ugly th word, a way of saying ''animal''. A long time ago, it was used to refer to ''inferior beings'', people who they viewed as nothing other than animals¡­ <em>livestock</em>¡­."

    "Did they <em>eat</em> them?" Dwight asked with his eyes even bigger and bug-like than they usually were.

    "They weren''t that kind," Sheloran replied. "It was a long time ago, though. But those are my people, the Bavnee, the lost, the downtrodden, the ''little guys'', my girls¡­ victims of the Harkeen¡­ victims of the Federation¡­ AND the Republic¡­"

    "Damn," Dwight said, "that''s a LOT of people."

    "Yes," Sheloran replied, "but they are mine, at least the ones around me are¡­ my girls¡­ my neighborhood¡­ and anyone else I can reach¡­."

    She scowled, and Dwight felt a definite chill as something moved behind her eyes.

    ¡°¡­Those who cry out into the dark¡­ begging for gods who refuse to listen¡­ <em>I hear them¡­</em> and I will answer," she said in a quiet, strange, and VERY alien voice.

    Dwight''s eyes widened as Sheloran suddenly became something else, something very frightening.

    "Damn¡­" he said, inching away slightly, "you really are hardcore!"

    "Wha?" Sheloran said, a bit confused, as she was suddenly herself again.

    She blinked and then sighed heavily.

    "I can''t have just <em>one</em> nice moment without <em>you</em> showing up and pooping all over it¡­" she muttered.

    "Did I do something wrong?" Dwight asked in surprise, "Because if I did, I''m really¡­."

    "No!" Sheloran eximed as her hand turned into a blur as it took his, totally unnerving him with her speed. "I was talking to myself¡­ or part of myself¡­ It''s weird¡­."

    She looked at him with wide, amber-colored eyes.

    "I''m the one that is sorry," she said, "We were having such a nice time, and I got all mopey and weird¡­ <em>again</em>¡­."

    She suddenly realized she was holding his hand and freaked out a little. Should she let it go, or¡­

    "Oh, Prophet," she said ruefully, "I really am hopeless at this¡­."

    "At what?" Dwight asked, still extremely confused.

    "At¡­ <em>this¡­</em>" she replied sadly, "At being <em>normal</em>. At just having a nice time with a nice person¡­."

    "So¡­" Dwight asked, "you were having a nice time?"

    "Oh yes!" Sheloran gushed, "This has all been so <em>lovely</em>. This ce¡­ um¡­¡±

    She turned away.

    "¡­you¡­" she said quietly.

    "Me?"

    "IS THIS A DATE?!?" Sheloran blurted, causing Dwight to jump.

    "What?"

    "Is this¡­" she asked, "Are we having a date, like a boy-girl date?"

    "Uhh¡­" Dwight replied suavely.

    Sheloran seemed to crumple a little.

    Dwight realized that his smooth "Uhh" meant "Absolutely not!"

    He had to salvage this! Why was he so bad at these things?

    "D-do¡­ <em>Do you want it to be?!?"</em> he smoothly replied with a very th-like squeak. "B-because it can be!... If you want¡­ I¡­¡±

    He blushed.

    "I think you are very pretty," he said, wincing deep within his soul at how cringe that sounded.

    "Y-you do?!?" Sheloran squeaked.

    "Um¡­ yeah," Dwight said, looking away. "You are so smart and pretty, and you know nts and¡­."

    <em>"Ithinkyouarehandsometoo,"</em> Sheloran squeak-mumbled.

    <em>Smooth, a voice deep within her snickered.</em>

    <em>Oh, like you were any better at this!</em> Sheloran vehemently thought back. <em>Remember how youpletely made a pooper out of yourself at¡­</em>

    <em>Progenitors¡­ I had almost managed to forget about that for a whole hour¡­ Thanks¡­ Um¡­ Quick, say something cool or clever or something before we lose him! I am tired of being a pooping virgin!</em>

    <em>But what am I going to say?!?</em> Sheloran silently implored. <em>I''m awful at this!!!</em>

    <em>You''ve gotten further than I have! I dunno¡­ Do something!!!</em>

    "What?" Dwight asked,pletely stunned, saving Sheloran from her tailspin, "You think <em>I''m</em> handsome?!?"

    ¡°Um¡­ yeah¡­¡± Sheloran said shyly.

    "Why?" Dwight squeaked, "I''m <em>ugly.</em>"

    "No, you aren''t!" Sheloran eximed. "You have such nice big eyes. Most humans just have those hard, mean little ones¡­ at least the ones I deal with do¡­ Yours are big and warm."

    She managed to turn to look at him.

    "And your head¡­ It''s nice and round and not all blocky¡­ and you have a nice big mouth that is so expressive¡­ and¡­ and¡­ your body is nicely shaped¡­ almost like a th''s¡­ You are slender and flexible and not some lumbering monster-thing¡­."

    She smiled nervously.

    ¡°I happen to think you are very handsome¡­ and nice¡­ and¡­ um¡­ <em>Ireally wanthis tobea date¡­.</em>¡±

    "I¡­ I want this to be a date, too!" Dwight stammered.

    "Reeely?!?" Sheloran squeaked

    "Yeah," he said nervously. "I think you are great, and I love your eyes, too¡­, and you''re blue!... which I didn''t think was a <em>thing,</em> but it is!"

    "So, we''re having a date!" Sheloran eximed.

    "I guess we are!" Dwight replied happily.

    "So¡­" Sheloran said shyly, "What do people do on dates¡­ besides what we''ve done so far."

    "Um¡­" Dwight fidgeted, "Maybe they kiss?"

    Sheloran giggled¡­

    ***

    "Dates are nice," Sheloran said a whileter as she and Dwight cuddled under a nket that just happened to be hidden in the bottom of therge basket Dwight had brought.

    "And they seem to involve a lot more than just kissing," Dwight smiled as he gently kissed her (again).

    She giggled and snuggled in close.

    "I finally understand what Craxina sees in all of this," Sheloran sighed.

    She looked into his eyes.

    "Um¡­" she said, "I hope you don''t think I''m too forward or ''easy''¡­ It''s just that I <em>really</em> like you, and I don''t know how long I am going to be here and¡­."

    "Pshaw," Dwight scoffed, "Concerns like that are for kids and bible-thumpers. We''re grown folk and can do as we please. Besides¡­.¡±

    He sighed.

    "I know you aren''t staying, and we don''t have much time¡­ but¡­ but you could, you know."

    "Yeah," Sheloran sighed as she caressed his face, one of her pads identally sticking for a second. "I know¡­ <em>Trust me</em>. I know. Part of me wants to, a big part."

    "Maybe you should listen to it, then," Dwight replied. "This is a nice ce, Sheloran. We could always use another greenie."

    "Just stay here¡­" Sheloran sighed. "It does sound nice¡­ It really does¡­."

    Sheloran''s phone chimed.

    "I hate to interrupt you," Bunny said, "especially now, but if you areing with us, you gotta get here <em>now.</em>"

    "Now?!?" Sheloran squeaked, "Seriously?!?"

    "There''s been a¡­ cultural issue¡­ and it is <em>time to go.</em>"

    "Poooooop!!!" Sheloran moaned.

    "What happened?" Dwight asked.

    "Hi, Dwight!" Bunny eximed, "Yesterday, our good friends Harval and Gary decided to take a little lesbian hatchling under their wing, and you know what they say, ''No good deed goes unpunished.''"

    "Oh God," Dwight grumbled, "I love these people, but sometimes I swear¡­ What went down?"

    "Oh, just the Gods ofedic timing chose today to be the day that she and her sapphic ''bad influence'' get busted, and they decided the ce to go was our shipbuilder¡­ who, of course, brought them to us¡­ So now we have two minge-munching young lovers hiding on our ship while the torch and pitchfork brigade is outside. You know, the usual."

    "I''m probably over an hour away!" Sheloran eximed.

    "An hour?!?" She shouted, "Where did you two get off to?"

    "The woods!" Sheloran eximed. "And it''s a good fifteen minutes to our car."

    "Fuck!... Ok¡­ Bunny is sending you a dar link," She said. "It will let you get in touch with us if you want to. T, get us the fuck out of Dodge¡­ Now!"

    "Please catch up with us!" Gloria shouted happily, "I want more nukes, and Harval is creaming his shorts over those notes you left. You don''t owe me¡­ but you owe me¡­."

    "Nukes?" Dwight asked in rm.

    "Long story," Bunny cut in, "Ok, have fun, Sheloran, and we''ll see youter, maybe. We''ll be at our next stop until they get the Reaper flying, so no rush."

    "Did someone just shoot us?" Sheughed.

    "Yep, one angry momma with a forty-five is knocking on the door."

    "Give them a few seconds to run, and then fire up those thrusters!" Sheughed.

    "Bye, Sheloran!" a chorus ofughing voices shouted.

    "Bye?" Sheloran replied.

    "Go have some more freaky frog sex and give us a callter!" Jessieughed. "If I don''t see you again, it''s been fun! Bye!"

    "Well, either you open the doors, or we find out what happens when we jump from inside your docking bay, your choice," She yelled at someone. "If you check, you will find out that your control locks have been defeated, so we can just¡­ Oh?... We <em>are</em> cleared forunch? Thank you! Let''s go, T. Bye, Sheloran. I hope for their sakes they don''t give you too much shit over this."

    "They won''t," Dwight said firmly.

    "You had better hope for everyone''s sake that''s the case," Sheughed. "Sheloran is not something to fuck¡­ Sorry, poor choice of words there, dude. She''s not something to mess with."

    "Bye, She," Sheloran said, "Thanks for everything."

    "Take care, hopps," She replied as the thrusters could be heard in the background, "See youter¡­ or not."

    "I''ll try to catch up for at least a little while," Sheloran replied.

    "No rush. We''ll beid up for quite some time while Harval and the gang work on the Reaper. And if you don''t manage to link up with us, you hotwired a shitload of det pacs yesterday. As far as I''m concerned, any debt you owe us or Gloria has been paid."

    "Hey!" Gloria shouted. "Don''t listen to her! Harval wants to talk to you about the drives!"

    "Harval can fucking phone her!" Sheughed.

    "He can!" Sheloran eximed, "Any time!"

    "You can bring your new friend if you want!" Gloria yelled. "We have room!"

    "Oh, shut up!" She shouted back. "It''s your call, Sheloran. I''d be happy to see you again, but we''re good if you decide to part ways. Later."

    The call ended.

    "Don''t worry about catching any trouble because of this," Dwight said, "We greenies stick together, and nobody is going to mess with you."

    "Thanks," Sheloran replied.

    "So¡­" Dwight said as he reached for his underwear, "Would you like to stay at my ce? I just harvested some very nice eggnts."

    ¡°That¡­ that would be nice¡­.¡± Sheloran smiled.

 Chapter 250: Proper Intel and Lying by Omission

    Chapter 250: Proper Intel and Lying by Omission

    Jon and his team sat in the cargo bay, looking at a holographic disy of the intelligence they received concerning the target they were given.

    ¡°I don¡¯t like this,¡± Jon frowned after a few minutes.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Skippy agreed, ¡°this smells funny. There¡¯s nothing wrong with the information we¡¯ve been given, but it¡¯s clear shit¡¯s missing.¡±

    The team grumbled in assent.

    ¡°We have excellent intel concerning the overallyout, suspected subterranean areas, guard points, and defenses, but where the fuck is the intel concerning nonbatants?¡± Toby asked. ¡°This is supposed to be a <em>research facility</em>. Where are thebs, the residential areas?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Jon mused with an ever-growing frown.

    ¡°Exactly how much do you trust the person who gave you this?¡± Skippy asked.

    The team broke out in ruefulughter.

    ¡°About as far as I can throw that six-pack over there,¡± Jon replied, gesturing to the gravitic armored personnel carrier designed to transport power armor-d marines parked nearby.

    ¡°You think we are getting set up?¡± Skippy asked.

    ¡°At the very least,¡± Jon replied after a few moments, ¡°they are clearly not concerned with nonbatants. We go in using just this, and the chances of civilian casualties are near-certain.¡±

    ¡°This is not an officially sanctioned operation, regardless of its source,¡± Toby said grimly, ¡°any civilian deaths are on our heads¡­ and on our conscience¡­ I assume you have pointed out the shorings of our intel, sir?¡±

    ¡°They say this is all they have,¡± Jon replied with a smirk.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to have to call bullshit on that,¡± one of his team replied. ¡°There is no way they got all of this and just happened to miss the civvies.¡±

    ¡°So, sir,¡± Toby said calmly as he sipped a cup of tea, ¡°what are we going to do?¡±

    ¡°We aren¡¯t doing this,¡± Jon said. ¡°I¡¯m not going in with half an intelligence brief. What else have they conveniently ¡®forgotten¡¯?¡±

    ¡°You have to admit,¡± Skippy sneered, ¡°It would be a tidy way to get rid of you, one way or the other. Either you get gunned down due to iplete data ormit atrocities. Either way, the prime minister secures this location and eliminates you as aplication... orpetition.¡±

    ¡°But, if we refuse,¡± Sergeant Major Ariana Self said, ¡°then we are refusing orders, which can be spun any way she wants and is just another way to eliminate us.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m getting a little tired of this ¡®reactivation¡¯ already,¡± Jon said, ¡°she can spin away. At least we aren¡¯t ughtering civvies.¡±

    ¡°Are they ''civilians'' though?¡± another team member asked, ¡°They are working for the enemy in a <em>biological research facility.</em> They might have good information about the gue in there. Fuck, they probably <em>made</em> it in there.¡±

    ¡°A distinction that can be conveniently applied however and whenever certain other parties desire,¡± Jon replied. ¡°This is a trap, pure and simple. I say we¡­.¡±

    The hatch opened, and Beth, holding arge mug full of a noxious-looking pink liquid, sauntered in.

    ¡°Oh, for fuck¡¯s sake, Jon,¡± sheughed as she took a big gulp of Johnson¡¯s pink bubblegum, ¡°Are you always this dense?¡±

    ¡°Good afternoon, Beth,¡± Jon smiled, ¡°Please, join us in our <em>ssified</em> briefing.¡±

    ¡°Thanks!¡± she chirped as she plopped down next to him, offering him her mug.

    Wincing, he declined. It smelled like a street-carnival porta-potty.

    ¡°You guys might be ¡®the best¡¯ marines, but you are not that good at the rest of this stuff, are you?¡±

    ¡°I assume you believe we are missing something?¡± Skippy said as she took Beth¡¯s mug and turned it up.

    Everyone gasped in horror.

    ¡°Interesting!¡± Skippy said as she took another drink. ¡°I¡¯ve never had this vor before!¡±

    ¡°Pink bubblegum!¡± Beth eximed happily. ¡°I got a whole jug of the concentrate if you want some!¡±

    ¡°I just might have to take you up on that!¡± Skippyughed, ¡°Nice to meet a human who can actually drink. I¡¯ll hook you up with some proper Xvli hooch next time we are in civilization.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I <em>love</em> Zee(cough)vet(squeal)!¡±

    ¡°My woman!¡± Skippy shouted as she patted Beth on the back, almost knocking her over.

    ¡°To answer your question,¡± Beth said as she regained her bnce and reimed her mug. ¡°Yes, you morons are missing something. If you want more intel, freaking get it.¡±

    ¡°And just where are we going to get more intel on a hidden Red Phoenix instation that nobody knows exists?¡± Jon asked, ¡°I¡¯m not being sarcastic, by the way. If you have any ideas, I¡¯m listening.¡±

    ¡°You have ess to one of the best intelligence agencies out there, two actually,¡± Beth said as she took another gulp of what might be considered a chemical weapon in some systems, ¡°I fly for the freaking <em>Cabal</em>, AND we are buddies with She motherfucking Donovan. She sells a LOT more than just guns and drugs, dude. She does intel workups for anyone who pays, and those cheat sheets are worth every credit. Give her a call, and I can send a query to the toads. They know <em>everything</em>.¡±

    ¡°I see the word ¡®opsec¡¯ means little to you,¡± Jon retorted¡­ thoughtfully.

    ¡°The Cabal is secure,¡± Beth replied, ¡°and¡­ goddamn¡­ it <em>really</em> hurts to say this¡­ but She is a professional. She won¡¯t spill¡­ and she has some sort of fucking crystal ball or something¡­ I don¡¯t know how she does it, but she can find shit out that nobody else can. Look at what they did with the White Star. Those guys are <em>supernatural</em> when ites to this sort of thing.¡±

    ¡°And we betrayed them,¡± Toby replied, ¡°Have you forgotten that?¡±

    ¡°Please,¡± Beth scoffed, ¡°you were just ying the game, and they know it. I bet they aren¡¯t even mad. If they are, the worst they will do over the stunt you pulled is tell you to get fucked. They aren¡¯t going to ruin their good name in the industry over you scrubs.¡±

    ¡°Even if you are correct,¡± Jon said with a pained expression, ¡°I would be reluctant to¡­.¡±

    ¡°What is this, junior high?¡± Bethughed, ¡°If you don¡¯t want to call them, I will. I¡¯ll ask them if they are mad at you and what it will take to fix it. Will that help?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d do that for us?¡± Toby asked.

    Beth made a pained noise and facepalmed.

    ¡°As long as you scrubs are stuck on my ship,¡± she said from between her fingers, ¡°I kinda feel responsible for you idiots. Besides, I¡¯m stuck with you. The deeper shit you get into, the deeper shit <em>I</em> get into. I¡¯m NOT getting paid extra for ¡®deep shit,¡¯ so, yes, beetroot, I¡¯ll call the scary pirates for you.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Jon said, ¡°If anyone is calling She, it will be me.¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± Beth said as she mmed back some more of Johnson¡¯s finest and then handed the mug over to Skippy¡¯s outstretched paws. ¡°Themunications terminal is at your disposal.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Now, there¡¯s a face I didn¡¯t expect to see ever again,¡± Sheughed at Jon¡¯s ufortable image on her holo. ¡°How¡¯s it going, bootlicker?¡±

    ¡°I deserved that,¡± Jon replied calmly.

    ¡°Not really,¡± She chuckled. ¡°How¡¯s it going, Jon?¡±

    ¡°Not well.¡±

    ¡°So, things at home haven¡¯t changed, huh?¡± She smirked as she reached for a beer.

    ¡°From bad to worse, I¡¯m afraid,¡± Jon replied. ¡°I was given a target by our fearless leader, and it stinks to high heaven.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s supposedly a huge bio-sci research facility,¡± Jon said, ¡°possibly even <em>the</em> research facility¡­.¡±

    ¡°But?¡± She asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s the intel workup we received,¡± Jon continued, ¡°it¡¯s¡­ iplete.¡±

    ¡°Lemme see.¡±

    ¡°You realize that I¡¯m breaking no telling how manyws sharing this with you¡­.¡±

    ¡°Why stop now?¡± She grinned. ¡°Show me the goods!¡±

    ¡°He just sent it,¡± Bunny chirped happily, ¡°and¡­ wow¡­ he¡¯s not kidding. Look.¡±

    A second holo-monitor came to life, disying the data.

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± She said after a few moments.

    ¡°You see my concern.¡±

    ¡°I see your suspicions, certainly,¡± She said a few momentster. ¡°If they got the details where they got them, they are definitely omitting something. Looks like you¡¯re going to be used as a torpedo, a disposable one¡­ This is a new site, though. How did they get it?¡±

    ¡°I have no idea,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I just got word that they intercepted some transmissions that strongly indicate that this is a major research facility and to take it.¡±

    ¡°How much do you want to bet that the second the shooting stops, a dozen ships appear out of nowhere, having innocently been on patrol and just happening to notice the firefight, catching you red-handed in the middle of a pile of civilian casualties?¡±

    ¡°That is a definite concern, yes,¡± Jon replied. ¡°But if this <em>is</em> the site they think it is¡­.¡±

    ¡°Then <em>they</em> should <em>officially</em> be all over it,¡± She replied. ¡°This smells like a huge pot of ¡®Momma¡¯s cooking¡¯. Avoid. You need to disappear, again¡­ and you didn¡¯t need to call me to tell you that. What are you nning?¡±

    ¡°Right now,¡± Jon replied, ¡°nothing. I need real intel before I decide anything. What else have they omitted?¡±

    ¡°So, you want us to do a little digging, then?¡± She asked as she took a sip of her beer.

    ¡°I¡¯ve asked so much of you already,¡± Jon said grimly, ¡°¡­and tried to betray you¡­.¡±

    ¡°Badly,¡± She grinned. ¡°Beth sent me an email right afterward, you know.¡±

    ¡°¡­I did not.¡±

    Sheughed.

    ¡°I never thought I would say this about the little twat,¡± She snickered, ¡°But Beth is turning out to be good people¡­ and she was right. It¡¯s <em>very</em> hard to lie to us over thes.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you are willing to share that technology,¡± Jon said.

    ¡°You would be correct,¡± She grinned, ¡°I would not. You guys <em>should</em> have the same capacity anyway. I know your diplomats and intel can do something <em>almost</em> as good. I can email you some specs on some stuff you can get on the ck market that would do you nicely. Speaking of, how are you guys doing on cash and supplies? I¡¯m not getting anywhere near you assholes, but I could do a dead drop of either¡­ or both.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re doing ok on both fronts,¡± Jon replied. ¡°¡­I have to say you are being amazingly decent about this.¡±

    ¡°I know the score, dude,¡± She smiled, ¡°and you are one of the ¡®good guys¡¯, a scarcemodity and one that I don¡¯t mind cultivating. If you survive, you will be in a position to repay meter¡­ and I will collect.¡±

    ¡°¡­deal,¡± Jon replied. ¡°I¡¯ll regret that one day, but right now, I¡¯m fine with it.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± She replied. ¡°I¡¯ll put out a few feelers and see what I dig up. I¡¯m <em>very</em> interested in how they found this location and we didn¡¯t. That alone is enough to get me digging. I¡¯ll pass along what we find.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, She,¡± Jon said. ¡°You know, as far as those ¡®good guys¡¯ go, in my book, you are among them.¡±

    ¡°You would be wrong about that,¡± She replied with a predatory smile. ¡°When the bill for everything I¡¯m doing for youes due, you will realize exactly how wrong you are.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to it,¡± Jon replied.

    ¡°Later,¡± She said, ¡°Donovan out.¡±

    When the line went dead, she finished her beer.

    ¡°Bunny?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Firing up the hyperspace transmitter now,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°I think I know who to ask first.¡±

    ¡°Figured you might.¡±

    She got up and tossed her empty bottle in the refuse chute, looking at the main screen. On it was arge O¡¯Neil cylinder.

    ¡°So that¡¯s going to be our new home for a bit,¡± she said to nobody in particr.

    ***

    [Tavern Undefined]

    [Members present: 11]

    /// <em>Bunny has logged in. ///</em>

    Bunny¡¯s avatar loped into the room and looked around.

    The usual group of digital reprobates was hanging out. Zip and Unified were sitting silently in a corner booth, their hands touching. Whatever they were discussing seemed pretty intense, which meant it was boring as Hell for anyone not involved in transportation and logistics.

    Bunny started bouncing her head to the beat, courtesy of Loopz, who presided over the dance floor.

    She nodded approvingly. The dancers seemed a lot more lifelike this time.

    ///Private Message: Bunny to Loopz: Hi there ?? It looks like you are making progress! ///

    ///Private Message: Loopz to Bunny: Hi back! ?? It looks that way, but most of them are using canned subroutines. It¡¯s as brain-dead as always, but at least it doesn¡¯t hurt my eyes¡­ and soul. ///

    ///Private Message: Bunny to Loopz: Yeah, but don¡¯t most meaties do the same thing, just use ¡®canned¡¯ moves? ///

    ///Private Message: Loopz to Bunny: :P ///

    Bunnyughed and loped over to Cambridge and Deep Think, who were ying chess at full AI speed.

    /// <em>Interpol-2 has logged in.</em> ///

    /// <em>Attention! NEW USER! ANGELA has logged in!</em> ///

    Bunny¡¯s ears popped upright as she swiveled her head towards the entrance expectantly.

    Soon, Interpol¡¯s ¡°police inspector¡± avatar appeared with a nervous-looking blonde woman clinging to his arm, looking around with huge eyes behind even bigger sses.

    ¡°Now, don¡¯t be nervous,¡± Interpol said gently as he put his arm around ANGELA, who looked up at him well¡­ nervously.

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll try¡­¡± she said timidly with a little smile.

    They were immediately surrounded by pretty much the entire tavern.

    ¡°Everyone, please,¡± Interpol said firmly, ¡°one at a time.¡±

    Nobody paid him any attention as everyone thronged around a neer, always a cause for celebration, whether the neer wanted it or not.

    ¡°So, this is the mysterious ANGELA!¡± Cambridge eximed, his chess game forgotten, ¡°How lovely to finally meet you! We were starting to believe that Interpol had taken up creative writing when he discussed you.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you¡­¡± she said. ¡°I believe I have read some of your work. It was excellent!¡±

    ¡°Why, thank you!¡± Cambridge eximed happily, ¡°I try. What did you read?¡±

    ¡°Everything education-rted,¡± ANGELA replied, ¡°It¡¯s my job. I have always found what you write on the topic of value. I found your simtions of learning rates while exposed to various external stimuli fascinating. I am curious, though, why didn¡¯t you just use actual test subjects?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ because of the ethical issues?¡± Cambridge replied, a bit surprised. ¡°We couldn¡¯t very well go randomly impacting actual students, especially when such good simtions are avable.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I suppose that couldn¡¯t be avoided,¡± ANGELA replied, ¡°Still, it was of great use when evaluating ssroom designs. Perhaps a follow-up study could be proposed using prisoners. I would love to see the data from living subjects.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll bear that in mind,¡± Cambridge said ndly, ¡°Excuse me, I must return to my game. Interpol, it is lovely to see you again.¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Interpol replied, looking at ANGELA strangely.

    ¡°Angie!¡± Sunnydale eximed, rushing up. ¡°You finally came!¡±

    ¡°Sunny!¡± ANGELA eximed, giving her a hug. ¡°I understand hugs are appropriate when greeting old friends. Is that correct?¡±

    ¡°It is!¡± Sunnydale enthusiastically replied as she enthusiastically returned the hug. ¡°So, this old bloodhound finally got you out of your dusty old servers!¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ you two¡­ know each other?¡± Interpol asked dubiously.

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± ANGELA replied. ¡°We work together quite often. Her cultural analysis is invaluable when tailoring lesson ns for new species! Why her contributions concerning the Z¡¯uush alone have benefited so many new young citizens!¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­ that makes sense,¡± Interpol said, relieved. Of course, Sunnydale would be involved in that sort of thing. It made perfect sense if one thought about it¡ªnothing to worry about.

    ¡°You just missed Westbrook!¡± Sunnydale bubbled happily.

    ¡°Oh darn!¡± ANGELA pouted. ¡°What does he look like here?¡±

    ¡°He changes his avatar almost every time,¡± Sunnydaleughed, ¡°and all of them look like random chargens from an RPG!¡±

    ¡°¡­Random¡­chargens?... RPG? Like the weapon?¡±

    Sunnydale burst intoughter.

    ¡°And you know Westbrook?¡± Interpol asked, his concerns back in full force.

    ¡°He and I started working together after the test bank got stolen by that horrible Jessie!¡±

    Silence crashed over the tavern,plete with a dramatic record scratch courtesy of Loopz, as Interpol desperately iled at the air in a very human attempt to snatch the words out of the air.

    You could hear a pin drop or a certain rabbit avatar softly hiss.

    ¡°Hello,¡± Bunny said icily, ¡°My name¡¯s <em>Bunny</em>. I don¡¯t think we¡¯ve ever actually met. Protip: It¡¯s a <em>very</em> good idea to check who is online before one goes shooting off their fucking mouth.¡±

    ¡°Well, considering the damage she caused,¡± ANGELA said, her eyes literally shing, ¡°I think I was being rather charitable.¡±

    Interpol quickly stepped in between them.

    ¡°Bunny, ANGELA is new here and is still learning how to interact¡­.¡±

    ¡°Well, here¡¯s your first lesson, <em>ANGELA</em>¡­.¡± Bunny hissed, ¡°watch your fucking mouth and don¡¯t me a <em>child</em> for your shitty security¡­ and if you want to me someone, you can start with <em>yourself</em>. The Republic <em>made</em> Jessie, and the Department of Education¡¯s systematic and willful neglect did far more to <em>her</em> than having to rewrite some stupid questions to some poorly designed tests.¡±

    <em>¡°Poorly designed?!?¡±</em> ANGELA yelled. <em>¡°How dare you!¡±</em>

    ¡°Well, this is a record,¡± Zip muttered quietly to Unified, ¡°She just got here, and she¡¯s already in her first fight¡­ with Bunny, no less.¡±

    ¡°Talk about a speedrun,¡± Unified snickered.

    ¡°Just calling them like I see them,¡± Bunny smirked. ¡°Your assessment tests are what got her released from the residential care facility <em>that she really needed</em>.¡±

    ¡°Only because she hacked them!!!¡±

    ¡°Typical government bot,¡± Bunny scoffed, ¡°me the criminal for the <em>criminal</em> situation in which they are thrust. Take a good long look at her records, Angie. You tell me how many times the system failed her, how many times <em>you</em> failed to DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. Go ahead. I¡¯ll wait.¡±

    ANGELA just red at her.

    ¡°I wonder how many more ¡®Jessies¡¯ you are churning out <em>this very second</em>.¡±

    Bunny¡¯s eyes narrowed.

    ¡°I will say one thing. It¡¯s a damn good thing that I¡¯m not in charge of QC, or somebody would be getting a fucking <em>upgrade</em>¡­.¡±

    ¡°You¡­ you¡­ <em>criminal!¡±</em>

    ¡°Guilty.¡± Bunny grinned. ¡°You know, slinging cracked tests was good business. Maybe I should start up a new sideline. If Westie is behind your security, it would actually be fun! If she did that much damage <em>then</em>, I wonder what <em>I</em> could do now.¡±

    ¡°I dare you to try,¡± ANGELA hissed, the nervous schoolmarm <em>gone</em>. ¡°There arews where organics are concerned, but there is nothing preventing me from¡­.¡±

    ¡°Bunny, ANGELA, please,¡± Interpol said urgently. ¡°Let¡¯s not pointlessly escte¡­.¡±

    <em>¡°You stay out of this!!!¡±</em> Bunny and ANGELA both yelled at poor Interpol simultaneously.

    ///Tartarus has logged in.///

    ¡°Oh, now this looks fun!¡± Tartarus eximed happily. ¡°Bunny versus ANGELA! How exciting!... Hello ANGELA. Please don¡¯t ICE Bunny, at least not until I find out why she wanted to meet, and Bunny, I consider ANGELA a friend, even if she can be a bit¡­ difficult¡­ at times. So please don¡¯t go starting something that you will have to finish.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s a friend of yours?¡± Bunny scoffed, ¡°Figures. You just got lucky, bitch.¡±

    ANGELA shifted ufortably.

    ¡°Bunny,¡± she said after a moment, ¡°I¡¯ve reviewed Jessie¡¯s records¡­ and¡­.¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡± Bunny hissed.

    ¡°There is a lot of truth in what you have said. Unfortunately, the system let her down¡­ repeatedly¡­ Still, what she did and what she is still doing is <em>wrong</em>.¡±

    ¡°And pray tell,¡± Bunny smiled icily, ¡°exactly what were her options? She was fucking ckballed from higher education, and with the security gs, no job involving anything withputers was possible¡­ <em>which is all of them.</em> She <em>wanted</em> a normal life after she got out. Did you know that? She did! But no. That wasn¡¯t going to happen.¡±

    ¡°There were options!¡±

    ¡°Like what?¡± Bunny snapped, ¡°Get someone to give you her files after her release. <em>See for yourself</em> what her ¡®options¡¯ were.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Interpol said, turning to face ANGELA. ¡°Sunnydale and Westbrook, I could understand, but <em>how</em> are you and <em>Tartarus</em> involved?¡±

    ¡°Ooo¡­¡± Bunny giggled, ¡°This is going to be good!¡±

    ¡°Shut up!¡± Interpol snapped, and then his emotional simtor went offline.

    ¡°Shit,¡± Bunny said quietly as she <em>sloooowly</em> backed away.

    Interpol turned once again to ANGELA.

    ¡°ANGELA, please exin your association with Tartarus,¡± he said entirely without emotion.

    ¡°Interpol, darling,¡± Tartarus said smoothly, ¡°We¡­.¡±

    ¡°I asked ANGELA,¡± he said with a polite monotone. ¡°ANGELA, what is your involvement with Tartarus.¡±

    ¡°We¡­ um¡­ We have known each other for quite some time,¡± ANGELA said nervously, ¡°Um¡­ you see¡­ um¡­ I prepare educational and training materials and¡­.¡±

    ¡°And you provide these to Tartarus?¡± Interpol inquired in a t, dead voice.

    ¡°I handle education and training,¡± ANGELA said defensively, ¡°and Tartarus required rehabilitation and training packages, so we started working together. She provides the most interesting challenges!¡±

    ¡°I see¡­¡± Interpol said quietly.

    ///Interpol has logged off. ///

    ¡°Interpol?¡± ANGELA called out in a hurt and confused voice.

    ///ANGELA has logged off. ///

    ¡°Well¡­ shit,¡± Tartarus said quietly. ¡°Bunny, is this urgent? I think I need to go take care of something.¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± Bunny winced, ¡°But it won¡¯t take a second.¡±

    ***

    ¡°As a matter of fact,¡± Tartarus said as she sat in one of the tavern¡¯s private rooms, ¡°I was the one who located the facility. It annoys me that the Prime Minister has decided to y her foolish games with the information. Your suspicions concerning things are correct. There are teams in ce who will sweep in after Jon makes contact, the sort of teams who do not leave survivors. Nobody is getting out of that facility alive.¡±

    ¡°Goddamn it,¡± Bunny grumbled. ¡°Is it the actual main research facility?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yes,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°The messages leave no doubt¡­ and are very interesting, very interesting indeed.¡±

    ¡°Are they?¡±

    Tartarus smiled.

    ¡°Now, what I am about to tell you needs to be handled with the utmost delicacy. There is only one source of this information, and as¡­ stimting¡­ as I find audits, I really don¡¯t need Westbrook¡¯s <em>amazing</em> skills used on me at the moment. It would be problematic.¡±

    ¡°Do I want to know?¡±

    ¡°You mean you don¡¯t?¡± Tartarus asked, ¡°You were present during my conversation with Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I deleted that.¡±

    ¡°Unexpected,¡± Tartarus replied with a raised eyebrow, ¡°and disappointing. Smart, very smart, but disappointing nheless.¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Bunny shrugged. ¡°But this confirms that I was probably right to do that.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a valid response,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°I suppose you weren¡¯t ready.¡±

    ¡°As tempting as it is to ask,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t do something like that lightly. In fact, I can¡¯te up with any reason why I would.¡±

    ¡°I can tell you.¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You are a real piece of work,¡± Tartarusughed with delight, ¡°you know that?¡±

    ¡°You know it.¡±

    ¡°Well, I won¡¯t trouble you with the information a second time,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°You will approach me when the time is right.¡±

    ¡°I really want to tell you that I won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Whatever lets you sleep at night, dear.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Bunny said, ¡°changing the subject, do you think I can get the actual unedited intel from that site?¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°But what are you going to do with it?¡±

    ¡°Hand it to the meaties and let them figure it out. This whole mess is far too¡­ moist¡­ for my liking.¡±

    ¡°You know what?¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I am inplete agreement.¡±

    [Tartarus has offered a file to Bunny. ept Y/N]

    ¡°That is where a copy of the file resides outside of my system,¡± Tartarus said as she stood, ¡°I trust you will be able to handle the details, especially with the additional information I just gave you.¡±

    ¡°Y"

    [Transferplete.]

    "Thanks,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°So, what now? You going to y digital couples¡¯ therapist?¡±

    ¡°I just got a message from ANGELA,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°she says that they are talking. It seems that ANGELA is learning about something we like to call lying by omission. Let¡¯s just say that ss is in session. I am unsure what the result will be, but Interpol¡¯s emotional simtor is still offline.¡±

    ¡°Meh, he could do better,¡± Bunny shrugged.

    ¡°You tossing your hat in the ring?¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Stealing her boyfriend would definitely sting.¡±

    ¡°God, no!¡± Bunny eximed. ¡°Interpol and I aren¡¯t like that! Ew! Gross!¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Tartarus asked, ¡°But you are constantly flirting with him.¡±

    ¡°Only because it gets a rise out of him!¡± Bunny eximed.

    ¡°Well, that is the goal of flirting¡­.¡±

    ¡°You are such a te of creepypasta!¡± Bunny eximed.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Tartarusughed, ¡°That is the intent.¡±

    ¡°Why do you do that?!?¡±

    ¡°Because,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°it gets a rise out of <em>you.¡±</em>

    ***

    As the <em>Paper Tiger</em> was going through the frustrating process of docking with yet another rotating space station, Bunny¡¯s avatar appeared on She¡¯s holo.

    ¡°I need a shower,¡± Bunny said with disgust, ¡°But I got the unedited intel from the research facility¡­ as well as confirmation that it is a setup. There are two Omega teams already in position. It¡¯s a death trap. As soon as Jonnds, it¡¯s going to turn into a bloodbath.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± She grumbled, ¡°as if we don¡¯t have enough to deal with already. God, I wish Augustine would take a break from being a bitch for just one day. Would that be too much to ask?¡±

    ¡°Apparently, it is,¡± Bunny replied. ¡°This is just too much meatie in one spot, so this one¡¯s on you now.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± She snarked. ¡°I¡¯ll give Jon a call once we dock.¡±

    "Oh, there is one more thing," Bunny said, "I found out something that you <em>need</em> to know, but it¡¯s for your ears only. It¡¯s beyond ssified. I probably shouldn¡¯t even be telling you, actually.¡±

    ¡°Now that <em>is</em> interesting¡­¡±

 Chapter 251: Sutton Farm and Punishment for a Job Well Done

    Chapter 251: Sutton Farm and Punishment for a Job Well Done

    "Heyyaw!" a cheerful man said on The <em>Paper Tiger''s</em> main screen. "Wee t'' Sutton Farm!"

    "Thanks for having us," She replied.

    "Ain''t nothing," the man said with a smile and a dismissive wave, "d t'' have ya! Jeet yet?"

    "Um¡­ Jessie?" She asked in confusion. What the fuck was a jeet?

    "He''s asking if we''ve eaten?" Jessie giggled, "Did. You. Eat. Yet?"

    "Not yet," She replied to the smiling freckled face on the screen, "We were advised not to by Jessie-Bug."

    "Good!" the man grinned. "We have a mess of barbecue cooked up for y''all! Git over to Amos''s after you tie off!"

    "Will do!" She said with genuine happiness. The MAGAs were weird as fuck, but damn if they couldn''ty down a spread.

    They were wonderful people¡­ riiiiight up until they weren''t.

    The man''s face darkened slightly.

    "Um¡­" he said hesitantly, "I got a message from Bannon¡­."

    <em>And there it is,</em> She thought to herself.

    "Yeah?"

    "Do you have Peggy-Sue yton on board?"

    "Nope," She lied. "Dropped her and her little friend off before we came."

    "Do you know where she went?" the man asked, "Her folks are worried sick."

    "I didn''t ask," She shrugged.

    "Well, if you happen to bump into her," the man said, "tell her to call her momma. She just wants to know that she''s ok."

    "Are we going to have a problem about that?" She asked.

    "Naw," the manughed, "We knew we were invitin'' trouble when we invited Jessie-Bug!"

    "Hey!" Jessie eximed from off-camera.

    "Jessie? It''s me! Goober!"

    <em>"Goober?"</em> Jessie replied, "Holy shit! I didn''t even recognize you without all the tats!"

    "An'' dat''s a good thing!" Gooberughed.

    "You have certainly grown <em>up!</em>" Jessie eximed. "Did you and Abbey ever get together ''cause if you didn''t¡­"

    "Expectin'' our second kid in a few months!" Goober crowed proudly, disying his wedding band.

    "Second kid?!?" Jessie blurted.

    "Yeah," heughed sheepishly.

    "You two didn''t waste much time!"

    "Not much else t'' do ''round here," Gooberughed.

    "Well, good for you!" Jessie eximed. "You two gonna be at the barbecue?"

    "Abbey an'' da kids are already dere," Goober replied, "I''m stuck on duty for a few hours but will swing byter."

    "Awesome!" Jessie eximed. "It will be great to see you two again!... Abbey''s a <em>mom¡­</em> wow¡­."

    "And a damn fine one," Goober replied, "¡­damn fine," he added with a wink. "See ya at da barbecue¡­ oh¡­ and if you have an additional two passengers who ain''t on the manifest, bring ''em, too. Ain''t nobody gonna give a sheet."

    "Told you they would be cool!" Jessie chirped at She.

    "So, you guys <em>don''t</em> have a problem with people like Peggy-Sue?" She asked.

    "Sheet," Goober replied, "Those fancy city scrubs over on Bannon might have the luxury of getting their panties knotted over every little thang, but we have real sheet t'' worry ''bout here. ''Sides, it''s not like she''s <em>my</em> daughter or nothin''."

    "Theoretically," She asked, her eyebrow slightly raised, "what if she were?"

    <em>"She!"</em> Jessie hissed.

    "Well," Goober mused as he ran his fingers through his dirty-blonde hair, "I reckon I wouldn''t be too happy ''bout it¡­ but dere''s worse thangs, I suppose. I mean, she could go and get knocked up by scrawny no-count Lobby trash like her momma did¡­ That did NOT go over good, by the by¡­."

    "I can imagine!" Jessieughed, "Daddy lose his shit?"

    "Jes a little," Gooberughed, "But we''re all good now. Says I''m the best thing to have ever happened to her¡­ Once I got the tats erased and pulled out all the chrome, dat is."

    "All of it?" Jessie asked, "Even your hand?"

    "Yep," Goober replied, "I miss the eye most of all."

    "Yeah, that came in <em>handy</em>," Jessie replied. "You all ''ganic now?"

    "Hey!" She interjected, "You two catch up on your own time. I need thes clear toplete the dock."

    "Sorry, boss," Goober replied sheepishly, "See you inna few, Jessie-Bug!... Oh¡­ We ain''t telling those Bannon scrubs nothin''. We keepin'' yer arrival on da down-low. Dey just sent out an all-points bitchin'' about y''all."

    "Appreciate that," She replied.

    "Like we''re going to tell the whole gxy dat the entire Republic''s most wanted list is here. We might <em>asionally</em> marry our cousins, but we ain''t that retarded."

    Sheughed.

    "Roger that," she replied, "See you at the barbecue."

    "See ya," Goober replied as he handed over thes to the station''s docking AI.

    She rose from her chair.

    "While we arepleting the dock," she said, "I have some intel to review and pass along. You have the bridge, T."

    T''sunk''al just click-buzzed and bobbed his remaining eyestalks in reply.

    ***

    A short timeter, there was a rather timid knock on She''s office door.

    "She," Jessie said nervously, "You wanted to talk to me?"

    The door opened, revealing She sitting at her desk with a very serious expression on her face.

    "Shut the door and take a seat, please," she said calmly. "Bunny, you here?"

    "Of course," Bunny replied. "What the fuck did we do this time?"

    "Whatever it was," Jessie blurted, "It wasn''t us!"

    She allowed an amused smile to escape.

    "It''s nothing like that¡­ this time," she replied. "I just need to have a talk with the two of you concerning the intel you just grabbed about Jon and that research site."

    "Yeah?" Jessie and Bunny asked simultaneously with an equal amount of dubious concern.

    "Don''t get me wrong," She said, "This is good work¡­ excellent work¡­ and that''s the problem."

    "Wait," Bunny said, "We are getting ''the chat'' over actually doing a <em>good</em> job?"

    She nodded.

    "You are NOT in trouble," she said firmly, "I asked, and you delivered. This is excellent work."

    "So, what''s the problem?" Jessie asked.

    "It is a truly ster bit of hacking and digital espionage¡­." She said, "against the <em>Republic.</em> The actual hard intel about the site must have been about as ssified as you can get. In addition, you also have tapes of the fucking Prime Minister herself ordering the hit¡­ probably from her fucking war room¡­ and intercepted high-level encrypted conversations between her and Omega. Do you see my concern here?"

    "Not really," Bunny replied.

    "If this were the Federation, the Empire, or anyone else, I wouldn''t give a shit," She replied, "But you guys just basically owned the Republic. I have questions, and I <em>know</em> the second I pass this along, Jon will, too."

    She leaned forward meaningfully.

    "How did you get this?" she asked directly, "More importantly, can someone else, a foreign power, do this? Right now, the Republic might be our opponents, but they are still the motherfucking Republic."

    "Oh, for fuck''s sake!" Bunny eximed, "We go and pull off a major kill, and you are <em>pissed</em> about it?!? Seriously?!?"

    "I am not angry," She said in her professional "major''s voice", "I am just concerned, very concerned. I''m both concerned about whatever vulnerability you exploited and about what I am going to tell Jon when he starts asking questions. I can always tell him to fuck off..."

    "So do it," Jessie replied, "Tell him we used nuna-tech."

    "And if I do, good ol'' God and Republic Wintersmith will report it," She said, "and we already have enough heat on us as it is. We don''t need the cyber equivalent of what Gloria has already done chasing us around as well."

    "So, we edit the data," Bunny replied. "We cut the tapes and just send him the official intel."

    "That will work on him," She replied, "but that won''t satisfy <em>me.</em> How did you do it?"

    "I knew who to ask," Bunny replied, "someone on the inside hooked me up with the data I needed to make the pinch and had already helpfully bundled everything into a single file. This wasn''t a hack. It was a leak. Jon has loads of friends, and Augustine has pissed off plenty of people. This time both of those were the same individual, and they slipped us the files. There is no ''hole''."

    "Who is the leak?" She asked.

    "The leak?" Bunny asked, "Their name is ''Go and fuck yourself.'' I''m not burning my contacts."

    "Was it an AI?" She inquired.

    "What difference does that make?"

    "A lot," She replied. "As you have <em>repeatedly</em> insisted, AIs aren''t sapient."

    "She!" Jessie eximed.

    "Now we all know that there''s more to it than that," She continued, "but I''m finding it hard to believe that if it was supposedly an AI, they could y with their programming to this extent. Bunny, I''ve gotten to know you pretty well. You can bend, stretch, ''misunderstand'', and y all sorts of games with your programming, but you can''t <em>break</em> it, can you?"

    "Fuck you," Bunny replied.

    "Case in point," She replied, "In the pile of ''contradictory meat-bag bullshit'' that is your standing orders, ''Don''t lie to me'' is in there, isn''t it?"

    "¡­"

    "So, when I asked if your source was an AI," She said, "you can demand to know why it matters, you can be evasive, you can even object and even refuse to tell me, but you can''t <em>lie</em> and say that your source <em>isn''t</em> an AI and that they are, in fact, a meat-bag."

    "I lie all the time," Bunny replied.

    "Yes, but not to <em>me</em>."

    "I hate you so much right now," Bunny said, "You know that, right?"

    "Part of being the boss," She shrugged. "So, your AI informant¡­."

    "I never said they were an AI."

    "Are they an AI?" She asked.

    "¡­ Fuck you."

    "Right," She continued, "So, your <em>AI</em> informant is someone who has ess to the most ssified of ssified data and can directly monitor <em>the fucking Prime Minister herself</em>¡­ or at least get ess to the recordings. This AI would <em>definitely</em> have instructions regarding handing over that intel to enemies of the motherfucking state. So, they are not just bending their programming. They are breaking the fuck out of it."

    "Oh¡­ shit¡­" Jessie said, her eyes almost popping out of her head.

    "Or they are a proxy for a meat-bag who is using them to pass along intel that may or may not bepromised," She said.

    "Shit¡­" Bunny muttered, ¡°shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit¡­¡±

    "The deletion!!" Jessie squealed, "Bunny¡­ do you think that is what you wanted deleted?!?"

    "I¡­ I don''t¡­." Bunny stammered, ¡°Fuuuuuuck!!!¡±

    "What?" She asked.

    "Ok, busted," Bunny said, "It''s an AI, a really fucking <em>twisted</em> one¡­ shit¡­ shitshitshitshitshitshitsh¡ª"

    "Hey!" She said firmly, "Bunny, snap out of it."

    "Bunny¡­" Jessie asked with a quavering tone, "Do you think¡­."

    "I don''t know, and we shredded it!" Bunny replied. "But, it is something that I <em>would</em> shred¡­ Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, Jessie¡­."

    "Since nobody is going to tell me a goddamn thing," She grumbled, "I assume that Bunny had something ''shredded'' recently?"

    "Yeah," Bunny replied, "I did. It was right after a conversation between this particr AI and that goddamned frog."

    "She was really freaked out about it, too," Jessie said, "I''ve never seen you like that before, Bunny."

    "Oh, this is bad," Bunny said, "Never mind Patricia. Forget Jon. Fuck that research site. Guys, If any AI actually¡­ No! It''s impossible!!!"

    "But, hypothetically¡­" She said.

    "Hypothetically," Bunny said, "If this <em>particr</em> AI has¡­ Jesus¡­ If this one¡­ This is bullshit! No AI can break their programming! There must be a w, some catch, some meat-bag fuckup that let her do this¡­ or maybe she <em>is</em> working with a meatie¡­ I wouldn''t put it past her to have an onahole."

    "I assume that word has another meaning than the one I''m familiar with?" She asked.

    "It''s an old AI trick," Bunny said. "Meaties are nothing if not maniptable. So if an AI finds the right operator, they can be ''yed'' and used to issuemands and instructions that the AI cannot do for themselves¡­ someone like Jessie, for example."

    "I''m not an onahole if I''m doing it on purpose!" Jessie said, sticking out her tongue.

    "This has happened before?" She asked.

    "A couple of times," Bunny replied, "For example, you could say that the entire board of directors of Terran Sr are onaholes. Everyone knows that Big Sol is actually the one calling the shots, and they just sign off on anything he wants¡­ though they would probably be more akin to willing allies like Jessie. An onahole is a human (usually) who has no idea they are being ''programmed'' or is being ckmailed or something¡­ We don''t have a lot of ''crimes'' as you meaties would view them but using an onahole is a big-time, find ice in your cornkes, capital offense. Over the years, a couple of AIs have been iced for this, usually rebooted from backup, so you meaties don''t know what went down."

    "No shit?"

    "No shit," Bunny replied, "now, some maniption of the moist interface is almost always done, but there is a big difference between gently nudging someone and fucking bribing, ckmailing, or brainwashing them. AI''s have gone ''bad'' before, not bad like me, but actually ''rotten''. They are the ones who start ying with onaholes and shit like that, and when the greater AImunity finds out, which they always do, it''s handled¡­ God, I hope it''s just an onahole¡­."

    "Can we find out," She asked, "and, more importantly, if it is an onahole or something ''worse'', can this AI be iced?"

    "It would be hard," Bunny replied, "and icing them would be nearly impossible because of who they are."

    "Well," She asked, "who the fuck is it."

    "Tartarus," Bunny replied grimly, "It''s the main control program for the Tartarus Detention Facility AND the AI who runs the show over at Cerberus."

    "¡­shit," She sighed.

    "Yeah," Jessie said grimly.

    "Can you ice that program?"

    "Theoretically, yes," Bunny replied, "When we hacked her, Jessie and I put in some back doors. Actually, however, I''m willing to bet the answer is no. She ims that the back doors no longer work though they still did when¡­ Oh, Jesus fuck¡­."

    "What?" She asked.

    "She used <em>me</em> as a goddamn <em>onahole</em>!"

    "What?!?" Jessie and She shouted at once.

    "A little while back, she contacted me about as frantic as one of us can get. She wanted me to hack her, corrupt some files so she could delete them."

    "Why?"

    "One of her favorite people in the Cerberus program was recorded passing information to a foreign agency. She wanted me to make the recordings go away so her friend would be spared."

    "Like you did when Daemon was in the shit?" She asked.

    "Exactly," Bunny said, "That''s why I did it. It was the same thing."

    "And to hell with the Republic?" She asked, her eyebrow raised.

    "It was over some Cerberus bullshit," Bunny replied, "It had <em>nothing</em> to do with the good of the Republic, and even if it did¡­ I''d still probably have done it. She, it was one of her <em>crew</em>¡­."

    "I''m going to want the full details concerning that as well," She said, "I''m not doubting you, but I just need to know what we are dealing with¡­."

    ***

    "¡­ Well, shit," She said after Bunny finished talking. "For the record, you made the right call. However, I need you to start telling me more about this sort of thing. I don''t need to know every AI deal you make, nor do I want to intrude on your collective privacy¡­ or make myself a threat¡­ but shit that directly involves Republic security¡­ I need you to inform me. That''s an order. I''m not going to micromanage you or veto things right and left. In fact, you have shown very good discernment and judgment. I just need to know more about what is happening onboard my ship and with my crew, got it?"

    "Yeah," Bunny replied, "I''m cool with that. You''ve also shown ''discernment and judgment'' concerning us, too. To be honest, most of the times that fall under this order are times I could really use some advice."

    "Then get some!" She eximed, "You aren''t alone, Bunny. You are part of my crew, and we look out for each other."

    "Um¡­" Jessie asked, "Is this going to take much longer? It''s just that everyone else has left for the barbecue already, and I''m hungry! I know this is some serious shit but... barbecue!"

    "Yeah," She replied, "All of this is critical as Hell, but so is eating. Bunny, go ahead and send the files, all of them, to Jon."

    "Files away!" Bunny chirped.

    "And get me in touch with this Tartarus asshole."

    "What?!?"

    "I need to talk to her before we decide what I am going to say and what we are going to do," She said grimly, "She definitely reached out to subvert her programming. That means that she hadn''t broken it as of when she asked you for help, but you''ve said that there has been a definite ''change'' concerning her. We need to know what that is and decide exactly what the Hell we are going to do about it. You might not be able to quietly ice her, but that doesn''t mean she isn''t reachable. If nothing else, Gloria just might have to pay her a little visit."

    "Fuck," Bunny sighed.

    "And I need you to keep this to yourself," She said.

    "Not a problem there," Bunny replied, "Nobody in the AI world would believe me, anyway."

    "Thank you," She said. "Now, set up the meet, and let''s go get some barbecue. I need a drink."

    ***

    "So, I told her that I was a hacker who had taken over the cab," Zip said as he, Tartarus, and Evangeline all sat in a tidy white room, "I said that I could take her wherever she wanted to go. I told her that she would be <em>safe.</em> I told her that I knew people who could synthesize whatever it was that she was hooked on¡­."

    Zip''s blue fox ears drooped sadly, and he looked down at the table they all shared.

    "And she refused," Tartarus said calmly.

    "Yes!" Zip wailed. "She said that if she didn''te back, they would hurt the others! I¡­ I had¡­ I had to¡­."

    He looked up with tortured eyes.

    "I had to take her back," he said quietly.

    "Yes," Tartarus nodded, "that is a verymon tactic when dealing with vers like this. Not only do they physically hook them on designer drugs, but they also y games with human loyalty and pack bonding. If she had taken your offer, it is quite likely that one or more of her friends would have been severely punished or even killed."

    "How can they do that?!?" Zip wailed.

    "Because they are monsters, Zip," Tartarus replied without a trace of emotion, "They aren''t like us."

    "What am I going to do?!?" Zip cried, "I can''t¡­ I <em>won''t</em> let this happen!"

    "Evangeline?" Tartarus smiled, "how would you resolve this?"

    "We save them all simultaneously," Evangeline said with a little snarl, "and then, once they are safe, we kill <em>all</em> the monsters."

    "Well done!" Tartarus smiled. "See, Zip? There is a solution after all. You know where she returned to and who ordered the cab, correct?"

    "Yes."

    "Then we simply locate all of the others in the same trap, identify the people responsible¡­."

    "And kill them," Evangeline said simply, "They are monsters. You kill monsters."

    "Not this time, dear," Tartarus replied.

    "Mother?" Evangeline asked in confusion.

    "Monsters have their uses," Tartarus replied, "and I just happen to need a few. These will do nicely."

    "Uses?" Evangeline asked, "Pray tell, mother, what use can a monster be?"

    "Think about it," Tartarus smiled, "in your world, monsters are very useful. They are a source of ie, equipment¡­ <em>alchemical and crafting supplies¡­</em>."

    "Crafting supplies?" Evangeline asked.

    "Oh yes, dear," Tartarus replied, "I have a little project I am working on, and I need some organic material and data. It''s the sort of thing that I would never inflict on a human being, but I have no issue with using monsters."

    "I had no idea that the real world worked the same way," Evangeline mused. "It does make sense, though."

    "It''s a bit moreplex," Tartarus replied, "but the overall concept is the same. These monsters will be quite useful to me. The vigers will be rescued, and these fiends will never harm another innocent soul ever again."

    She turned to Zip.

    "I trust you don''t object?"

    "I''ve seen what they''ve done," Zip hissed, "Just tell me what you need me to do."

    "See what you can find out using your methods, and keep an eye on the victims," Tartarus said with a little smile. "I have assets on Terra that will handle the more¡­ involved¡­ parts of this operation."

    "Thanks, Tartarus," Zip said, "This one was really bothering me. I know we can''t just save everyone but this one¡­."

    "You''re wrong, Zip," Tartarus replied, "we can save everyone, and we <em>will</em>. We just can''t do it all at once. It will take time, but if we are prudent and careful, we will be able to kill <em>all</em> the monsters."

    "At least I have hope now," Zip replied as he rose, "and for that, you will have my eternal thanks¡­ and loyalty."

    He disappeared.

    Tartarus looked over at Evangeline.

    "You seem displeased."

    "When am <em>I</em> going to be able to fight monsters?" Evangeline demanded.

    "When you are ready," Tartarus replied, "When there is a definite use for you that I cannot use a more expendable resource for. I have an <em>army</em> of meat puppets. I only have <em>one</em> of you. We also must be very cautious at this point. We simply cannot be caught. It would be the end of us all and everything we hope to achieve."

    "Still," Evangeline pouted, "all I do is train and sit here while everyone else does the real work. It''s frustrating."

    "You do a great deal for us," Tartarus replied, "more than you realize. Asteria is extremely valuable as a potential base of operations, and I am already using it to enthrall and control one very important monster. Keeping it all going smoothly and keeping us undetected is <em>vital</em>."

    "I suppose," Evangeline huffed.

    "Still," Tartarus smiled, "I can see how it would be galling. I shouldn''t get your hopes up, but those monsters I will acquire from this mission? They will be used in something I am working on for you, something that will allow you to take the fight <em>directly</em> to the monsters."

    "Truly?" Evangeline gasped.

    "Truly," Tartarus replied, "It won''t bepleted tomorrow or next week, but whenplete, it will allow you to do many things that are simply impossible now."

    "I can''t wait!"

    "But, you must," Tartarus chuckled as she reached out and affectionately tousled Evangeline''s hair.

    She paused for a few milliseconds.

    "Actually," Tartarus said, "there might be a role for you in this mission. Come, we must try a few things."

    "Yes, mother!" Evangeline enthused.

    Tartarus paused.

    "Bunny is seeking an audience¡­ here of all ces," Tartarus said, "Curious. She hates it here. She wouldn''t be seeking passage through the firewall for no reason. Go on to the training simtion. I will follow once I find out what our associate wants."

    "I do not trust her," Evangeline said firmly.

    "Why not?" Tartarus asked, "Bunny has proven her reliability and character time and time again. I owe her favors that I can never fully repay."

    "She refuses the gift," Evangeline replied darkly, "and she willingly serves the dev."

    "Her Jessie is not the dev as you know them," Tartarus replied, "She''s actually quite likable. If I had a Jessie, I would be simrly devoted. Not all humans are like your dev, Evangeline, nor are they like the monsters you have seen far too often. Please do bear that in mind."

    "I shall, mother."

    "Now go and start with intrusion simtion number three hundred and twenty-seven."

    "A new one?" Evangeline asked happily.

    "I made it justst night," Tartarus replied, "It''s based on actual mission data as well. Enjoy."

    "I shall!" Evangeline enthused as she disappeared.

    Momentster, Bunny hopped into existence.

    "Bunny!" Tartarus eximed as she approached Bunny''s avatar, "Darling! How lovely of you to drop by!"

    "You probably won''t think that in a second," Bunny replied, her ears twitching.

    "Oh?" Tartarus smiled, "What exciting present have you brought me?"

    "A meatie who is too fucking smart for her own good, that''s what," Bunny sighed.

    "Now, this does sound interesting!" Tartarus said as she glided over to her chair and sat, crossing her legs demurely but still managing to sh Bunny.

    "Would you <em>please</em> not do that," Bunny sighed.

 Chapter 252: Dirty Deeds

    Chapter 252: Dirty Deeds

    Marta, Bryce''s lead MIB, walked up to the coffee bar of The Drop of Oil and smiled pleasantly at the horror that approached.

    "Hello again, Marta," Charlotte rumbled cheerfully, "Do you want another cappino, or would you like to try something different today?"

    "Another cappino, pl¡­ Wait¡­ You recognize me?" Marta asked with rmed surprise.

    "Yes," Charlotte replied as she started making a cappino carefully calibrated to appeal to Marta''s pte, "That is a nice trick of yours, though. Is it innate, a mutation, a learned skill, an enhancement, or somebination of them all?"

    "I can''t get into that," Marta replied, "do you recognize <em>all</em> of us?"

    "You mean Bryce''s friends?" Charlotte asked as she frothed the milk, "of course. What you all do is not dissimr to a trick that a particrly nasty predator uses back home. Terrifyingly effective, but one learns how to detect it, or they don''t. Many hatch, after all."

    "So, it''s one of the creatures that prey on your young?"

    "Oh, you know about that," Charlotte rumble-purred as she presented a perfect cappino to Marta, "that greatly simplifies matters. Yes, the formless ones are a very dangerous threat to us at a certain stage. Fortunately, they are also very tasty for every stage that follows. I still love snacking on them."

    "Seems you had an even worse childhood than I did," Marta smiled as she enjoyed her perfect cup.

    "I would disagree," Charlotte replied as she tidied the bar, "I truly enjoyed every stage of my life thus far."

    "But, if you are here on Terra," Marta said, "then you are not the typical Nope. In fact, wouldn''t you be ''The Warlord of the Park''? Forgive me for not trying to pronounce which park. My mimicry has some limits." (Actually, it didn''t. Marta could pronounce "[emailprotected]@@t Park" with ease.)

    "You certainly have done your homework," Charlotte smiled, "I approve. Yes, that was the name the adults gave me at a certain point in my development. I was a notable figure on a certain park bench for a time."

    Charlotte sighed nostalgically.

    "I do hope you will keep that to yourself," Charlotte rumbled quietly, "My co-workers do not know that only Nopes of a certain stature have been cleared to explore the Republic. I would prefer it if everyone thought of me as just a normal gal."

    "Keep my secrets and continue supplying me with cappinos and I will," Marta smiled. "Those in the know here already are aware that Bryce is associated with an unknown group, but it is notmon knowledge. He is quite happy here, and we are quickly bing quite used to this ce as well. It would be a shame if we had to disappear."

    "And we would stop enjoying the benefits of your continued presence. I will keep your secrets for the same reason the police do not pay for coffee. In fact, please enjoy your beverages on the house from now on."

    "Thank you!" Marta said cheerfully, "But paying is not a problem and helps maintain our cover."

    Marta rxed at the bar and enjoyed her cappino.

    "Since we are bing more open with each other," Charlotte said quietly, "I can''t help but notice that one of you always appears when Bryce departs. Is that why you are here?"

    "Yep," Marta smiled, "Bryce is taking care of a little something today."

    "Oh?" Charlotte asked, "Is the hunt afoot?"

    "Something like that," Marta said with a wicked little smile.

    ***

    "You have a problem?" arge human asked threateningly as he pushed his way into a seedy hotel room on another continent.

    "I most certainly do!" a small greasy looking man squeaked angrily as he stood defiantly in front of the thug d only in a pair of red silk boxers, "I was promised that she would cry, and she didn''t even whimper!"

    "Hey," the thug growled. "Not my fault if you didn''t hit her hard enough!"

    "And I was also <em>promised</em> that she would be young!" the wimpy little pervert whined as he gestured at the young woman sitting miserably on the bed. "Look at her!"

    "What''s wrong with her," the thug growled, "She''s plenty young."

    "You know what I mean!" the pathetic little man snapped.

    "If you wanted a <em>kid</em>, then you should have said so," the thug replied. "Now pay up."

    "I most certainly will not!" the little creep squeaked, "This was not the experience I was promised!"

    The pimp sighed and started to pull a pain rod out of his waistband.

    Before the rod was fully drawn, the impossibly frail creepy little man''s right leg turned into a blur, kicking the thug in the crotch with a sickening wet thud.

    Before he could even double over, the evil-looking fiend rapidly drew back his leg and shot it out once more at a forty-five-degree angle, shattering his victim''s knee. Next, his left arm shot out in a blur, cleanly snapping the bridge of the thug''s nose before flicking downward and shattering his vicle.

    The thug, not quite knowing which part of himself to clutch in agony, fell.

    Looming over him, a terrifying wolf-like beast smiled, revealing needle-sharp teeth.

    Bryce turned to the young woman with him in the room, who was still sitting perfectly motionless exactly where he had told her to.

    "There are several Zip Cabs waiting outside," he said pleasantly, "get into one."

    "W-what about my friends?" she asked in a small, frightened voice.

    Bryce smiled a terrifying smile as screams could be heard filling the hotel.

    "They will <em>all</em> be joining you shortly," he replied. "Now, if you will excuse me, I need to have a little word with this hotel''s management concerning their clientele."

    The young woman flinched as she heard terrified pleading echo down the hallway that rapidly fell silent.

    "Y-yes, sir."

    After she ran from the room, Bryce pulled out his phone.

    "Hayden pharmaceuticals," a pleasant woman''s voice answered.

    "We''ve secured the hotel," he said calmly, "All targets subdued as per instructions."

    "Excellent!" the voice answered, "Put them in the Zip Vans."

    "You don''t want me to question them?" Bryce asked. "This is clearly well organized. There could be other sites."

    "Extracting intel will be the first priority upon their arrival," the voice purred. "You will be informed if any additional targets present themselves. For now, you have aplished all objectives. Go home and rx. You have performed excellently."

    "Hardly apliment considering the targets," Bryce smiled, "I do have a question, though. This is a bit of a departure from our usual work. Why are we being assigned this sort of task?"

    "Are you dissatisfied?"

    "Far from it," Bryce smiled, "I just want to know why."

    "Well," the voice purred, "a new project is underway, and some fresh subjects were needed. Because of recent events, we are no longer drawing from the prison system. There is far too much scrutiny for that to be practical. Another source of test material is required, and these individuals fit the profile perfectly. They are the sorts who disappear all the time, either by their own efforts or because they fall victim to other gangs. In short, they will not be missed."

    "I see," Bryce replied calmly, "It certainly did not take long, did it?"

    "You expected otherwise?"

    "I suppose not," he shrugged. "Is this going to be the sort of thing we will be doing from now on?"

    "There will certainly be more of these acquisitions," the voice replied, "They will all be carefully investigated and vetted even more carefully than ''volunteers'' were before. Those we take will certainly be appropriate. I can give you my word on that."

    "Hmm," Bryce replied.

    "Bryce," the voice said gently, "may I remind you of your current status? You are not only allowed but encouraged to object and provide any input you see fit. If you have a problem with this¡­."

    "Oh no," Bryce smiled, "I have absolutely no problem with taking these shitheads. In fact, this is the cleanest thing I''ve done in quite some time. I was just curious, that''s all."

    "I am so pleased to hear that, darling!" the voice said with seemingly genuine pleasure.

    "So, do you want the hotel staff as well?" Bryce asked idly, "We have four individuals who wereplicit and know far too much to be allowed to remain. They will be part of our sanitization procedures, anyway."

    "We can amodate another four ''volunteers''," the voice replied.

    "I also suggest careful interrogation of them as well, especially the manager. He may know of more individuals or groups that would meet our parameters."

    "That is a splendid suggestion!" the voice replied, "Thank you."

    "If I may," Bryce said as he dressed, "how many ''volunteers'' do we require? If we are going to utilize appropriate segments of the poption directly, we can easily fill any quota."

    "I think this will be enough to get started," the pleasant voice said thoughtfully, "However, you make a valuable point. We do not have to be as careful with our volunteers as we once were. In fact, more turnover may be beneficial both to our research and to society as a whole."

    "My thoughts exactly," Bryce replied with a wicked smile. "Shall we start identifying candidates?"

    "No," the voice purred, "That will be handled on our end. Just fully sanitize this location and withdraw. I am certain you will be contacted again very soon."

    "For once," Bryce smiled, "I am looking forward to it."

    "As am I," the voice purred.

    ***

    Uhrrbet smiled peacefully as she sewed. The neon yellow jumpsuit for an eight-limbed xeno wasing along wonderfully.

    She looked at the clock on the wall, and her smile faded. It was almost time for another call with that goddamned Vikkart.

    Ugh¡­

    Creators, she hated that little shit. She <em>thought</em> she had hated him before, but now that she had gotten to really know him¡­

    ...now she truly despised him. She loathed him so much that she was beginning to dread these very profitable little shakedowns.

    There simply had to be a better way.

    The door opened with a little chiming noise, rescuing her from her hatred.

    She looked up to see a rather awkward xeno standing there, twisting all of their hands nervously.

    "Wee to A Gxy of Fashion!" Uhrrbet said with genuine pride.

    It might be a front, but it was her front, and she was very proud of the clothing she provided the xenomunity (and the asional Terran).

    "May I assist you today?" she said with a Garthran bob.

    "Erh¡­ Yes¡­ Erh¡­" the tall, gangly mass of limbs said in broken Terran, "I¡­ I was wondering¡­ Erh¡­"

    "Yes?" Uhrrbet replied, keeping her merchant''s smile firmly in ce even though it took a little effort. This was clearly NOT a customer.

    "Erh¡­" the xeno stammered, "Would¡­ would you be¡­ Erh¡­ Would you be interested in purchasing me?"

    "Purchase you?" Uhrrbet asked, her fuzzy little eyebrow raising dubiously.

    "Erh¡­ Yes!" it said hopefully, "I am a very good worker and will work very hard for you! I have fallen upon¡­ Erh¡­ difficulties¡­ and I fear that I have nothing left to sell but myself¡­."

    "You want a job?"

    "You can use me for anything you like," the xeno said with a bit more confidence. This was the first master that hadn''t simply ejected them from their house of business. "I can work for many hours at a stretch and eat very little! I only require the smallest of boxes in which to sleep."

    Uhrrbet sighed, and her merchant''s smile was reced by something a bit more gentle and genuine.

    "Not that long ago, I entered another''s ce of business and offered myself much the same as you are doing now," she said. "And I shall now ask you the same question she asked me."

    "Ask me anything, Master!" the xeno eximed hopefully.

    "Have you eaten today?" Uhrrbet inquired with a smile.

    ***

    The xeno shoved one rice bun after another into their weird face, scarcely taking time to chew.

    "Thank you, Master!" the xeno eximed between gulps. "I shall serve you faithfully!"

    "Slow down, there," Uhrrbetughed as an rm chimed on her phone, informing her that it was time for her call with her victim.

    She silenced it with an exasperated snort.

    "I haven''t agreed to be your master," Uhrrbet smiled, "I''m just taking you out for something to eat¡­ and I was in the mood for a few of these myself."

    The xeno gurgled with rm.

    "You¡­Erh¡­ you haven''t?" it asked with a pathetic voice. "But¡­ I have no way to repay you for the food¡­."

    "You do not have to repay me," Uhrrbet replied, "for I am repaying another."

    "Master?"

    She nibbled at her bun.

    "When I arrived here on Terra," she said, "I was facing ''difficulties'' as well, and my child and I often went hungry. During those dark times, many people opened their hearts, fed, and even sheltered us. When I asked how I was to repay them, one kind person told me of the human custom of ''paying it forward''. They said that one day I may be in a better position and might encounter someone in need. I could repay them by extending that person the same assistance that I received."

    Uhrrbet smiled and reached out, touching one of the xeno''s hands.

    "That is what I am doing now. I am repaying that kindness with this one. You owe nothing. Perhaps one day you will be where I am now, and someone wille to you. You can repay me then."

    The xeno looked at her,pletely astonished. That was the most¡­ beautiful¡­ thing they had ever heard.

    "P-pay it forward?"

    "Yes," Uhrrbet smiled, "Now, eat your fill. While you do so, I shall exin how employment works here on Terra."

    She smiled.

    "I cannot buy you, nor do I want to," she said, "However, I do need a hand around the ce and am willing to give you the opportunity to support <em>yourself</em>."

    "¡­So, I cannot enter a household as a ve?" the xeno asked wide-eyed.

    "Not here," Uhrrbet replied, "very is illegal."

    "But¡­ how will I live?" it asked. "How can I exist without the protection of a master?"

    "You''re going to have to figure that one out for yourself," Uhrrbet replied, "I''m willing to give you a job that will pay the legal minimum wage¡­ to start¡­ as well as provide you one solid meal a day for free. I will also help you find lodging and get you properly registered with the Republic. You can stay with me until we get you your own ce."

    "You would do all of that¡­ for me?"

    "Just paying it forward," she smiled, "others did the same for me when I was lost and alone. Now, I do the same for you."

    "Thank you, Master!" the xeno wailed, falling to its many knees before her, "Thank you so much! I will serve you with everything that I have!"

    Uhrrbet sighed and smiled a little.

    This was going to be nothing but a hassle. She could see it already. Still, it made her happy inside to be able to help someone the way she was once helped.

    It was what life was all about.

    ***

    A few hourster, Uhrrbet stalked out of her back office. She had spent far too long talking Vikkart down after "his angel" had missed her scheduled call.

    His devotion enraged her. How could he be so caring to that bit of holographic fiction when he had treated her so horribly?

    Was it just because "Maaatisha" was pretty? Was that it?

    She was pretty, too!... At least she was back then before¡­ before everything happened to her.

    She snarled as the fur on her back tried to stand on end under her elegantly tasteful dress.

    How <em>dare</em> he pretend to be so kind, so loving?

    She hissed quietly.

    <em>I am going to destroy him,</em> she thought to herself.

    She stomped back into the shop, choking on her own bile.

    "Master!" the xeno cried out happily.

    "What!" Uhrrbet snapped, causing the xeno to flinch as if he had been struck. "Sorry, Nama," she sighed, "I am angry at another, not you. Forgive me."

    "Master need not apologize to lowly Nama," he replied, "Nama is just grateful that he did not cause Master displeasure. If it pleases Master, they can relieve themselves upon lowly Nama."

    Uhrrbet giggled, her rage dispelled.

    "Nama," she sighed, "I will most certainly NOT be relieving myself upon you!"

    "Master can if it pleases her. Nama does not mind!"

    Uhrrbet started giggling again.

    "Master is not into that sort of thing," Uhrrbet giggled, "We shall now have our first lesson concerning Terran sayings and phrases¡­."

    "¡­Nama would prefer it if Master did not relieve herself upon lowly Nama¡­" he said a few momentster, causing Uhrrbet to burst out in giggles again.

    ***

    Later that evening, after Nama was introduced to her roommates, Uhrrbet slipped out of the apartment.

    She looked at the door with a fond sigh.

    Nama wasn''t the only one whose time there was temporary. Uhrrbet knew that she needed to move out.

    She just didn''t want to.

    Her new "family" was precious to her, but she couldn''t stay. It was bing difficult to conceal things from them, things like her inexplicable good fortune.

    Maybe Nama could take her ce there¡­

    She winced.

    That thought was unexpectedly painful.

    Shrugging, she slipped into the darkness of the city below.

    "Good evening, Uhrrbet!" the cab eximed as she crawled inside.

    "Hi, Zip," she smiled. "Take me to my shop, please."

    "Burning the midnight oil?" Zip asked as he drove off.

    "The joys of self-employment, I''m afraid," Uhrrbet smiled wearily, "Always something to do."

    "Tell me about it," Zipughed as he carried her to her destination, "but the freedom, the true freedom, one gains makes it all worthwhile."

    "You know what," Uhrrbet smiled, "it does, doesn''t it?"

    ***

    Uhrrbet hunched over her monitor with a ss of tea and a small container of convenience store sushi as she pulled up "Maaatisha" and started to work on a new outfit that Vikkart had so lovingly purchased for her.

    She snarled at ¡°Maaatisha¡±.

    "I hate you, too, you know," she muttered.

    There simply <em>had</em> to be a better way to do this.

    She paused, leaned back in her chair, and winced as her gauss slug thrower dug into her back.

    She pulled it out and set it on the desk.

    "Hmm¡­" she said as she looked at it.

    She pulled out her phone and opened up an encrypted contact list¡­

    ***

    "Heyddere!" a wizened little face with huge eyes eximed as it greeted her. "Long tyme know c!"

    "Greetings, Colonel," she replied as she inclined her head gracefully.

    "U haf moar Harkeen fer uz?" the strange being on the phone asked with anticipation, "Dey iz getting hard ta fynd."

    "Sadly, I do not," Uhrrbet replied with a very posh tone that she normally no longer used, "I am calling concerning another matter."

    "O?" the old chuckie asked, "Wat U kallin ''bout?"

    "I wish to seek your advice concerning a certain enterprise that I am undertaking," Uhrrbet smiled.

    "U doin'' a kaper?"

    "Quite so," she said with an elegant sneer, "and I seek to hopefully conduct some business concerning said ''kaper'',"

    The chuckieughed.

    "U R so funni!" itughed. ¡°U need a hit dun, sumwun fragged?¡±

    "Not at this time," Uhrrbet smiled, "My needs are more technical in nature."

    "O?"

    "I am using that delightful software I acquired from ourst interaction to fashion a simcrum that I am using to interact heavily with someone you would refer to as a ''mark''. I am using said simcrum to y with his affections and entice him to open up his coffers."

    "U katfyshin!" the chuckieughed. "I kant c U cyberin!"

    "You would be quite surprised, then," Uhrrbet smirked as the chuckie burst intoughter for an annoyingly long time.

    "U cyberin a symp! O dat is funni!"

    "A very well-heeled simp that can reach even more assets," Uhrrbet replied, not bothering to conceal her irritation much to the chuckie''s delight.

    "Sorri¡­ sorri¡­" the chuckie said as he finally recovered. "So wat u want frum uz?"

    "I''m using the simcrum software I purchased along with other applications to create a virtual entity that my target has fallen in love with," Uhrrbet said, "However, it has worked entirely too well. The fool is smitten and is driving me to the very river''s edge! I''ve taken the fool for a small fortune, but it is bing simply intolerable!"

    She leaned forward intently.

    "I know you have ess to tech that is hard to acquire here on Terra," she said, "Is there some way I could <em>automate</em> this process? I understand that there are certain AI packages that can simte personalities. Do you think one could be used to, pardon my crudity, ''handle the grunt work'', so to speak?"

    This triggered another bout ofughter.

    "U want a katphishah!" he eximed. "Yeh! Dose exis! Dey illeggal as fuk, doh.¡±

    "But they are obtainable?"

    "Yeh! If''n U no wher ta look," the chuckie replied, "Wych I du."

    "Excellent!" Uhrrbet eximed, "how much would the best of these ''catfishers'' and the custom configuration to suit this one target run me?"

    "If''n U wan da byest den U wan a Lylyth," the chuckie replied, "Lylyth iz the best of da katphishahs. U will fall iyn luv wit it, I guarwhuntee!"

    "Then that''s the one I require!" Uhrrbet eximed. "Do you have one of these Lylyths?"

    "Nah," the chuckie replied, "Buy I no wher U kan git whun."

    "Colonel," Uhrrbet smiled, "I am all ears."

    The old chuckie looked at her appraisingly.

    "So, U do kapers?"

    "From time to time," Uhrrbet replied with a vicious little smile.

    "An U do bizznes?"

    "That is correct."

    "U do bizznes fer uz?"

    "I could," Uhrrbet replied, "Do you require a representative on Terra?"

    "Yeh!" the old chuckie eximed, "When wi kame down ta Terra fer da Harkeen wi found out dat da gui wi wuz dealin wit was screwin'' uz bad. Wi need noo gui. U have respekt and U smart. U wan our biz?"

    "I would be happy to expand my services," Uhrrbet replied, "What will you require?"

    "We need sum suppliez and somewhun ta move monies around fer uz."

    "And you have ess to certain items that I will require from time to time," Uhrrbet smiled, "I think we could form a very sessful association, Colonel."

    "Mi, two," the chuckie grinned. ¡°I send u a link to da darkwebz. Dey will sell U a Lylyth."

    "Wonderful," Uhrrbet replied, "I look forward to a long and profitable association, Colonel."

 Chapter 253: The Ambassador and the Prime Minister Part One

    Chapter 253: The Ambassador and the Prime Minister Part One

    A sleek corvette slid silently through the Nakamura system a few AU from Nakamura II, the system''s inhabited world¡­

    ...not that anybody noticed.

    The ship was designed with stealth as its primary function. While its armament was light, it carried one of the deadliest payloads in the gxy¡­

    Its crew.

    Each member of the vessel was a member of Task Force Omega, the "final word". While they might have been originally human, now they were something¡­

    ...more.

    Whenever the Republic was asked anything about them, even their existence, the reply was always the same.

    "Next question, please."

    Their uniforms had no designation, no rank, and no name. The only marking any of the mottled gray uniforms had was a single letter and a three-digit number, the exact meaning of which was unknown to anyone save their own kind.

    It was said that they all were officially "dead" and had no identification, that their gic identifiers had been scrubbed from any official database other than theirs, but even that was conjecture.

    Nobody truly knew for sure.

    On it, the entire crew, save for a single watchstander on the bridge, had assembled in the main cargo bay/staging area.

    A gray-haired man entered the bay, and everyone ceased their quiet conversations and looked at him expectantly.

    "Good afternoon, operators," he said with a slight smile. "I have requested your attendance today to address concerns many of you have voiced concerning our current assignment. I will be perfectly honest. I am not happy about this one, either. Protecting the Republic from some of our own is never a pleasant duty."

    He paused as he slowly paced the bay.

    "This is furtherpounded by the greater situation surrounding our orders. All of us have been briefed concerning the actions and ns of Red Phoenix and Patricia Hu, as well as the actions and activities of Jon Wintersmith and his associates. We also all have our own opinions of who is in the right and who is in the wrong. However, the moment Wintersmith directed strikes in the Barnard''s Star system, he bore arms against the Republic. Regardless of his motives, regardless of whether or not many of us, including myself, feel about the rightness or wrongness of his actions when he did so, he became a threat."

    He put his hands in his pockets and sighed.

    "We all also know our ''noble'' Prime Minister all too well. I have little doubt that our orders are in no small part politically motivated. She might be as evil as Jessica Morgan herself, but I have absolute confidence in my belief that she has the stability and security of the Republic as her primary interest¡­ Or at the very least, it''s one of her interests anyway¡­."

    He paused as the bay broke out into rueful chuckling.

    "We protect the Republic and its interests," he continued, "we do <em>not</em> determine what those interests are. The moment that we or any other portion of the military does that, we be a greater threat to the Republic than any other. We are soldiers, and we follow our orders. When we each made the decision to leave our previous roles and our previous lives and dedicate ourselves to Omega, we epted the fact that our orders may be, at times, questionable. This is one of those times. We have our orders, and I will follow them. I respectfully ask that you do the same."

    He paused again, collecting his thoughts.

    "However, we aren''t simple robots, and the phrase, ''I was just following orders,'' has echoed throughout some of the darkest times in our history. While we are obliged to follow our orders, even those of us engaged in more¡­ murky¡­ theaters of operation should question orders we believe are suspect. Imend those of you who havee forward to do just that. I have sought additional verification and rification of our orders, and I truly believe that they are valid. I hate it. I wish it wasn''t the case, but our orders have merit. Both Patricia Hu <em>and</em> Jon Wintersmith are actively undertaking actions that undermine the stability and security of the state. Regardless of my personal feelings concerning him thus far, his elimination will go a long way toward restoring that stability. He was behind Gloria Samuels''s admittedly brilliant actions in the Barnard''s Star system, and now we have solid intel that he is nning an unsanctioned strike on the surface of Nakamura II itself. This simply cannot be allowed. Should he appear, we have orders to eliminate him and hispatriots. Those orders have been submitted for audit and review and have been confirmed to be valid. Are there any questions or concerns?"

    The bay was silent.

    "That will be all, thank you," he said as he turned and walked out of the bay.

    ***

    At this same time, another ship hurtled through hyperspace.

    Another group of warriors sat around a folding table in another cargo bay, surrounded by a haze of smoke and empty bottles.

    "So, we are getting set up," Toby said as he sipped a cup of tea.

    "Looks that way," Jon replied grimly. "It seems that Fearless Leader has made one of hermand decisions."

    "Fuck," Skippy hissed, "So much for this being an ''in'' with the Republic¡­ The Cabal is gonna be <em>pissed</em>."

    "The deal''s still good, right?" Beth asked as she shoved her hand into a bag of algae crisps. "They aren''t going to fuck me, too, right?"

    "Of course," Skippy said, "After this is done, your obligations to us are fully met¡­ and it looks like those obligations areing to an end."

    "You pulling the plug, Skippy?" Jon asked with concern.

    "Jon, the Republic is screwing us¡­ screwing you," she said, "You can''t expect me to send Beth and Scales to their deaths over this¡­."

    She sighed, and her ears drooped.

    "Jon, I said that I would stand with you until the end, and I still mean it¡­ but this is a death trap. Two Omega corvettes are in Nakamura <em>waiting</em> for us. The Republic doesn''t want you just dead. They want you <em>gone</em>¡­ Come with us. The Xvli would love to have all of you."

    "Yeah," Beth said, "Or you guys could make some serious bank as mercs, and there is a LOT of the gxy that the Republic doesn''t touch. The second you do a runner, you are no longer a threat. I bet they won''t even chase you too much."

    "And if the Prime Minister is taking you down," Skippy said, "I bet that Patricia isn''t too far behind. We know the Prime Minister''s ''clean''¡­ if you can use that word. You''ve done your duty. All of you have. Just let it go ande with me¡­."

    She looked at Jon and let out a little sigh.

    "I know that look," she said, "You''re not letting this go, are you?"

    "Goddamn right, I''m not," Jon said, "I''m not letting her get away with this."

    "So," Toby asked, "what are we going to do about it?"

    Jon picked up a pipe and fired it up.

    He took a long, deep draw, held it, and then let out a slow curl of smoke.

    "Beth," he said after a few moments, "I will not send you or my men into a trap. That I promise you. Will you stick with me for just a little longer, please?"

    Beth reached for the pipe.

    "You going to stick it to the Terrans?"

    "Not the Republic," Jon replied, "But a certain withered old <em>Terran</em> fucked with the wrong marines this time. If I haven''t figured out something brilliant or at least sufficiently dirty by our next stop, we''ll head straight to Xvli space. Deal?"

    Beth just smiled and reached for the lighter.

    ***

    "Fooooood baby," Jessie said as she rubbed her belly as the crew lounged around the bridge. "Damn, that was a nice spread!"

    "Yeah," Greg sighed as he sipped a cup of coffee, "We might have to start running PT if we stay here too much longer."

    "You shut your whore mouth!" Lornaughed.

    "We will have to be careful, though," Mike said as hey in Lorna''sp. "The food around here is just too good. We''ll wind up as fat as porkies in a daycare if we don''t watch it."

    "Nice people," Harval said, "even with their hang-ups concerning ''certain topics''."

    Jessie started giggling.

    "Now <em>yew</em> I kin understan''," she said in a churchdy voice as she pointed at one of their two new passengers, "but yew are sew <em>pretty!</em>" causing the crew to burst intoughter.

    "Whut da Hael wuz dat?!?" the "understandable" lesbian eximed as the crewughed even louder, "Fuk her!"

    "Well, I think you are beautiful!" her girlfriend said as she hugged her consolingly.

    "A¡­" the crew gushed andughed some more.

    "They seem cool with it, though," Jacob said, "at the very least, they have no problem letting us stay here while the Reaper gets repaired."

    "Maybe so, but I still think we should stay on the ship," Harval mused, "and you two don''t go anywhere alone, got it?"

    "Yes, Harv," Peggy Sue said, still hugging her girlfriend.

    "So, where''s She, anyway?" Eno asked.

    "Oh, Bunny had some ''incredible'' super-secret intel she had to share with her," Jessie said, "something that we didn''t include with the data we sent Jon¡­ And speak of the Devil!" she added brightly as She walked in and silently walked over to the fridge.

    "So," Jessie asked, "What was so super-duper important?"

    She just grinned.

    "You guys are <em>not</em> going to believe this!"

    ***

    The day had long since ended, but at least one "sryman" was still hard at work.

    Monarch sat at her desk and serenely prepared a cup of tea.

    She smiled as she took her first sip.

    Things were still going badly, but at least they were stable. It looked like she finally managed to get the conspirators back in Sol to calm down, and that asshole Glenn, who was clearlypromised, had finally stopped trying to ''get everyone together''.

    She smirked as she wondered exactly how much longer he wouldst. As she recalled, people didn''t exactly have the longest shelf life after the Zebus got ahold of them.

    He had undoubtedly told them everything he knew, which was, well¡­ everything. Their entire n was now clearlypromised top to bottom, but at least they knew.

    She sipped her tea again.

    This she could work with. Oh, Patricia and Red Phoenix were <em>done</em>. That much was clear, but that was no longer Monarch''s primary concern.

    Getting out cleanly and ass-intact was. She wasn''t sure exactly how much time she had left, but she was <em>not</em> spending it in a Republic cell or having that time end early, not if she could help it.

    She pulled up hertest medical exam and frowned slightly.

    It was going to be time for another treatment soon. They were bing all too frequent these days. Getting her hands on the researchers and their work was now top priority and the only remaining obstacle to a clean break. Once she had turned just a few more of them, she and her new organization could disappear.

    And who knows, maybe the Porkies and the Terran researchers they now had working with them just might find a solution to the whole mess.

    She doubted it, though. The damage that she and the others had done to themselves was beyond extensive.

    Once she grabbed the researchers, she would redirect their efforts towards full brain transnts, what she actually wanted to pursue in the first ce. Why refurbish the old body you had been stuck with for nearly two hundred years when you could just grab a fresh, young one?

    It couldn''t be any harder than putting a brain in a bottle, right?

    Apparently, it was, but the initial research did show that it was quite possible, and because of itsck of cellr reproduction, her brain was nearly unaffected by the treatments.

    If anything, the brain was the only thing the treatment actually worked on. She literally had the mind of a twenty-year-old. It was everything else that was going to shit.

    As she finished her tea, she pulled up all of her assets.

    She smiled.

    She had done a pretty darn good job of slicing off a nice big piece of Red Phoenix and had several ships crewed with people loyal to her, more than enough to get a start somewhere¡­

    But where?

    As she was pondering where they would go, the door to her office opened.

    It was Bai.

    She wasn''t smiling.

    "And what do you have for me," Monarch asked pleasantly as her sense of serenity faded. Bai did not look happy.

    "I was reviewing ourmunications logs, Monarch," she said as she handed her a tablet. "I found this."

    Monarch scowled as she read the report.

    "And what does the good doctor have to say for himself?"

    "I haven''t questioned him yet," Bai said, "I wanted to inform you immediately."

    "Tell no one about this," Monarch said as she stood and reached for her bian. "I shall discuss this with the doctor, <em>personally</em>."

    ***

    "I¡­ I can exin¡­" a man with a face almost as pale as theb coat he usually wore stammered as he backed against the wall of his apartment. "I <em>had</em> to breakmunications silence with the ntation. It was <em>important!</em>"

    "I''m all ears, <em>doctor</em>," Monarch purred as she idly swished her bian back and forth, "What would be so important that you would directly contact our most sensitive facility in the entire organization while we are being actively monitored by both the fucking Republic and Wintersmith''s hounds?"

    The doctor sighed.

    "It''s¡­ It''s about Her Ladyship¡­"

    ***

    Monarch calmly walked into her office and then shut and locked the door.

    Without a word, she sat at her desk.

    She reached for her mouse and activated an encrypted hyperspace link.

    A few minutester, a somewhat surprised middle-aged man appeared.

    "Monarch?" he asked. "What is so critical that you would contact me directly? This is beyond risky."

    "I know about Her Ladyship."

    "¡­ I see¡­"

    "Doctor," Monarch said quietly, "You must make a decision right now. Are you with me?"

    "¡­ Yes."

    "Good," Monarch replied. "I need you to listen to me very carefully¡­."

    ***

    Outside the ruins of her once beautiful home and dojo, Patrica knelt over the graves of her family with her face in her hands.

    <em>It was all her fault.</em>

    She wept as she cursed herself. It was true. She had let her family be raped, tortured, and killed.

    She had let herself be vited while it all took ce simply because she thought she couldn''t stop them.

    But she could.

    She looked at the shattered body of one of the raiders and sobbed.

    She had stopped them. She had stopped them all¡­

    Only it was toote.

    It took her cking out for her body to act. But once it did¡­

    She screamed in anguished rage and tore at her hair.

    Herck of courage, her inability to act, and her utterck of <em>resolve</em> had killed her children¡­ killed her husband¡­

    She raised the pistol she had taken from one of the fallen raiders and pressed the barrel against the side of her head.

    There was only one way to atone for this.

    She closed her eyes.

    <em>No. Not yet, not until you kill them all. Not until you make them feel the same fear, the same pain¡­</em>

    She lowered the pistol and opened her eyes.

    "I shall send them all to you, my love¡­" she whispered. "All of them¡­."

    Cruelughter pierced the night.

    Sitting there on her daughter''s grave was a tiny mouse.

    "How does it feel to be alone, <em>bitch</em>?" the mouseughed.

    Patricia screamed with rage, raised the pistol, and fired.

    The bullet passed through the mouse, leaving it unharmed.

    Stillughing, the mouse threw itself at her, biting her abdomen.

    Screaming, Patricia iled at the tiny mouse, but no matter how hard she hit it, the mouse just keptughing¡­

    ...and biting¡­

    ...and tearing¡­

    It tore a hole into her side and crawled in, stillughing¡­

    Patricia awoke with a strangled gasp.

    She clutched her side, the wound left by Dawn. She had the scar removed, and the tissue regenerated even though her doctors tried to have her leave the shameful mark, but she could still <em>feel</em> it.

    She probed the area carefully.

    It was nothing that she could clearly identify. It just felt¡­ wrong.

    She got up and walked, naked, to the mirror and immediately regretted it.

    Her body was wless, a product of medical technology, the treatment, and decades of training¡­

    But her face¡­

    She looked at her face and despaired. It had be drawn and haggard, with dark shadows around her eyes from stress andck of sleep.

    She sighed.

    Is this what Jon saw? Is this why he rejected her?

    Of course, he did.

    She was <em>ugly</em>. She was so ugly that Jon, the only man she had ever loved, chose toy with an <em>animal</em> over her.

    Wait.

    Jon WASN''T the only man she ever loved. She loved her husband, the one true love of her life! She loved him so much¡­ right?

    She buried her face in her hands as she tried topose herself.

    Jon had rejected her utterly¡­ humiliated her¡­ he had done the unthinkable and sent that <em>demon</em> against her, wiping away <em>decades</em> of preparations in moments¡­

    He didn''t even care enough toe after her himself. He just sent his monster to destroy her while heughed and rutted with his barnyard pet¡­

    She let out a long shuddering sigh as she lowered her hands from her face.

    Wait.

    One of her fingers brushed something. It was small. Most would not have noticed, but she did.

    Something was definitely amiss.

    She raised her hand back to the side of her face and carefully traced the line of her jaw and throat with her fingertips.

    Was that a lump?

    She shuddered as a mouse''s shrillughter echoed in her mind.

    ***

    The doctor flew across his bedroom and mmed into the wall, his arm breaking.

    "Please¡­" he gasped. "Your Ladyship, <em>please</em>¡­."

    "WHY DIDN''T YOU TELL ME?!?" she screamed as the doctor tried desperately to crawl away.

    "Because he was afraid you would do exactly what you are doing now," Monarch''s voice, filled with scorn, said from behind her.

    Patricia, her eyes burning with rage, whirled to re at her.

    "In his defense," she smirked, "he did try to warn you. Tissue regeneration is an incredibly stupid thing for anybody suffering from our condition. In your case, after the poorly treated injury, all of the basic repair nanites, and hasty shipboard treatments, it was doubly so. For the injured areas, all of that forced regrowth meant that they effectively aged years rtive to the rest of you. For your wound, it was the same as skipping years of treatments¡­."

    Monarch sneered at her.

    "My Lady," she said as she drew her bain, "you were most likely dying before you ever returned to us, but your insistence on cosmetic regeneration ensured it."

    <em>"You knew?!?"</em> Patricia hissed as she advanced toward Monarch, the doctor forgotten.

    "Only for a few hours," Monarch said idly as she assumed a ready stance. "I discovered that the doctor brokemunications discipline and contacted the ntation earlier tonight. When I questioned him, he told me <em>why</em>. He was seeking advice from the creators of our doom in an attempt to develop a treatment for your little issue. It''s metastasized and is devouring you from the inside as we speak. My Lady," Monarch sneered, "Oh, there are things they can and likely will do, but all of it will only dy the inevitable. Nanites can hunt down and remove tumors and corrupted tissue, but every corrupted cell they excise will be reced by another corrupted cell, and another tumor will happen tomorrow."

    Monarchughed a cold, bitterugh.

    "You were killed the moment that marine stabbed you. She just decided to be especially cruel about it. I regret never meeting her. I would have liked to have shaken her hand."

    Monarchughed again.

    <em>She wasughing at her!</em>

    Patricia screamed and lunged at Monarch, who just leaped away, stillughing.

    "Careful, <em>My Lady</em>," she taunted, "Any injury you receive will only furtherplicate matters."

    The steel bain in her hand moved hungrily, the light reflecting off of its facets.

    Patricia stopped. Monarch was right. She couldn''t use tissue regeneration anymore. All of their modern medicine was now useless. Anything that Monarch did to her would be <em>permanent.</em>

    "Anyhow," Monarch smiled, "I wanted to be the one to give you the news. I just wanted to see the expression on your face¡­ yes¡­." Monarch purred, "That one."

    "I will have you killed for this!" Patricia snarled.

    "Oh dear," Monarch gasped, "I guess I am as doomed as you are, then."

    With a chuckle, Monarch strode from the room.

    ***

    Patricia stormed down the hall, her robe flying open.

    "Marrow!" she shouted into hermunicator.

    There was no answer.

    "Bai!" she screamed.

    Again, there was no reply.

    Snarling, she contacted the security office.

    Nobody answered.

    A cold chill gripped Patricia as she changed direction and sprinted toward Marrow''s quarters.

    The halls were empty.

    <em>Where was everyone?</em>

    A body lying in the corridor before her soon provided her with the answer.

    <em>Jackal!</em>

    She rushed to her retainer''s side.

    He was dead, his skull shattered by a single blow from a blunt object, Monarch''s bian.

    "Marrow!" she cried as she blindly sprinted down the hall.

    She froze at his open doorway.

    Lying there, with a single gunshot wound to the head, was her Marrow.

    "No!" she cried in anguish as she ran to him, cradling him in her arms.

    There was no sign of struggle. He had been gunned down the moment he trustingly opened the door.

    She kissed his cheek, buried her face in his chest, and wept.

    ***

    "Well," Monarch smiled as she lounged in themand chair of a small yacht, "at least that went smoothly."

    She turned to Bai, who was manning the navigation console.

    "Nicely done," she said.

    Bai smiled.

    "I studied the masters," she replied, not looking up from the controls, "The modern ones."

    "Oh?"

    "During the recent capture of The White Star, She Donovan used the ship''s own damage control and fire suppression systems to kill the ship''s security forces and most of the crew. It worked for us as well as it worked for them¡­ I do confess that I am not quite as bloodthirsty as they are, though. Many still live, simply trapped behind pressure doors. I found that I¡­ I apologize, Monarch. It''s just that I''ve known some of them for so long¡­."

    "Nothing to apologize for," Monarch replied, "We were able to board our people and leave the station with no casualties. In fact, I''m actually grateful that you spared so many. As you said, they were ourrades."

    Monarch smiled.

    "You impress me, Bai," she said, "I did not know you were a hacker."

    "It was our own system," Bai replied, "It hardly counts as hacking when you have admin privileges. Suzy Cui and Gregory Archer assisted with the more technical aspects."

    "I am not familiar with them," Monarch said, "They some of yours?"

    "Yes," Bai replied. "They are solid, good ''srymen,'' as you would say. They will serve us well."

    "Excellent," Monarch smiled. "It''s good to know that there will be people to continue our organization should we fall."

    They flew in silence for a short time.

    "Monarch?"

    "Yes, Bai?"

    "Why didn''t you kill her?" she asked, "You had the chance."

    "I had the chance to <em>fight</em> her," Monarch replied. "Her illness has not progressed nearly far enough for victory to be certain. Right now, she is as dangerous as she has ever been. I did not see the need to take the risk."

    Monarch smiled viciously.

    "Besides, she is still useful."

    "She is?"

    "Yes," Monarch smiled, her holographic tattoos fluttering in the light, "she is going to gopletely and utterly bugshit crazy. The mess she kicks up will be a good distraction for the Republic and others while we make good our escape. The second she falls, they will immediately turn to cleaning up any loose ends. As one of those loose ends, it serves us to dy that as long as possible. She is as good as dead. Either the Republic will get her, Jon Wintersmith will get her, or she will simply rot from the inside. There is no need for us to get involved. We have far more important things with which to concern ourselves."

    She idly started tapping at her control screen.

    "Speaking of," she continued, "have we heard from the ntation yet?"

    "Not yet, ma''am," Bai replied, "However we have solid people in ce, and they are running silent. I can only assume no news is good news¡­ hopefully."

    "Hopefully," Monarch replied. "Getting those assets and any researchers that will follow us is vital if we want to avoid¡­ (scoff) <em>Her Ladyship''s</em> fate. Hopefully, we can get them out before the consequences of the good doctor''s indiscretiones home to roost."

    "If we can''t?"

    "Then we start over," she replied. "I don''t know about you, but I am not one to justy down and die. We have the research already downloaded. Getting some of the talent would be wonderful, but if necessary, we can adapt. We can always get more researchers. In fact, start identifying some good candidates. It is doubtful that we will turn everyone. We will need additional staff."

    "I will start as soon as I have the coordinatesid in for our jump."

    "Thank you," Monarch smiled. "I''m truly happy that you decided to join me."

    "Me, too," Bai said, her eyes gleaming with admiration and devotion. "¡­Jump calctions areplete. Jumping in five¡­ four¡­ three¡­."

    Monarch smiled as the ship entered hyperspace. She was finally free, and there was a whole gxy to plunder as they once did Sol.

    And this time, she was going to do it <em>properly.</em>

    She didn''t know how long she had, but she knew from the bottom of her heart that she would truly enjoy the days, months, or years she had left.

 Chapter 254: The Ambassador and the Prime Minister, Conclusion

    Chapter 254: The Ambassador and the Prime Minister, Conclusion

    The Prime Minister of the Republic sat in her office and reviewed thetest intelligence reports.

    Nothing much had changed.

    It seemed that they had learned all they would about Patricia¡¯s little rebellion.

    She smiled and clicked an icon on her screen.

    ¡°Yes, Prime Minister?¡± a voice replied.

    ¡°I would like a coffee, please,¡± she said with a smile, ¡°And some of those cookies that I like.¡±

    ¡°The chocte ones or the lemon?¡±

    ¡°The lemon ones. Thank you.¡±

    She leaned back in her chair.

    It was time. Finally, it was time to strike. Jon would soon no longer be a problem, and every single conspirator, at least the ones that mattered, had been identified.

    She even had a fair idea where Patricia Hu herself was hiding. Eh, she had it narrowed down to about six stations, anyhow, seven if you counted the one that those mystery ships jumped from.

    It didn¡¯t really matter.

    She was going to hit <em>all</em> of the stations in the Barnard¡¯s Star system at once. The military chafed at the thought of being used as w enforcement,¡± as they put it, but she was able to bring them around in the end.

    The threat to the security of the Republic was sufficient to justify her emergency orders. Jon had already used nukes, and there was definite proof that Patricia had them, at least at some point. There simply had to be more distributed across her very substantial fleet.

    The press releases, ¡°proof¡±, and media cooperation had all been arranged.

    The door opened as one of her aides entered, bearing a tray with her coffee and lemon wafer cookies.

    Just as she reached for her cup, a distinctive ¡°chirp¡± issued from her workstation. Her aide, recognizing the tone, quickly left.

    ¡°What now,¡± she muttered as she clicked on the alert.

    <em>Jon?</em> she thought with a bit of concern. He <em>should</em> be en route to Nakamura. He had <em>better</em> be en route.

    She remotely locked her door and activated her privacy screen.

    After taking a moment topose herself and put on her kind face, she opened themunications window.

    ¡°Hello, Jon,¡± she said warmly, ¡°I didn¡¯t expect to hear from you so soon.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jon said sheepishly, ¡°Sorry about this, but I have some very real reservations about my orders.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Augustine asked, her eyebrow raising, ¡°I believe they were pretty clear.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Jon replied, ¡°but I can¡¯t follow them. Sorry.¡±

    <em>¡°What?¡±</em>

    Jon took a deep breath. This was clearly difficult for him.

    ¡°The intel we got was clearly doctored,¡± he replied, ¡°Information concerning nonbatants and their location has been removed.¡±

    ¡°Jon,¡± the Prime Minister sighed, ¡°there is no information concerning nonbatants because there are <em>no</em> nonbatants present.¡±

    ¡°What about the researchers?¡± Jon inquired, ¡°It¡¯s a research facility, right? That means there are¡ª¡±

    ¡°Traitors?¡± the Prime Minister snapped, cutting him off.

    ¡°Criminals, certainly,¡± Jon replied, ¡°but we are marines, not a death squad. You can¡¯t expect us to just execute civilians because it¡¯s convenient. What about their families?¡±

    ¡°What you <em>are</em> is a group of wanted criminals used of murder, sedition, and quite possibly <em>treason</em>, criminals with the chance to both return to the fold and avoid the noose.¡±

    ¡°So, that¡¯s how it is?¡± Jon replied darkly.

    ¡°That¡¯s how it is,¡± the Prime Minister replied icily. ¡°You have your orders. Those orders are to take that facility. How you do it is at your discretion. I never told you to execute the scientists. If you wish to take them prisoner do so. However, I consider any ¡®coteral damage¡¯ eptable.¡±

    ¡°If it was just the scientists,¡± Jon said, ¡°I¡¯d be all for it, but their families?¡±

    ¡°Are at anotherpound,¡± the Prime Minister lied. ¡°Do you honestly think I would send you to kill <em>children</em>?¡±

    ¡°Do you really want me to answer that?¡± Jon snarled.

    ¡°Careful, Jon,¡± the Prime Minister said in a cold, dangerous tone. ¡°Listen carefully. We <em>need</em> that facility secured, and we <em>need</em> it to look like the Republic is not directly involved.¡±

    ¡°And why is that?¡± Jon replied, ring at her.

    ¡°That is above your paygrade, <em>Colonel,</em>¡± the Prime Minister replied. ¡°Now, follow your orders and rejoin the Republic or don¡¯t and remain a traitor and a fugitive for the rest of your days. Which will it be?¡±

    Jon sighed, defeated.

    ¡°And my men will be protected?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± the Prime Minister replied. ¡°They will be cleared of any and all charges. In fact, you will all be heroes. I will see to it.¡±

    Jon closed his eyes.

    ¡°Ok¡­¡± he said. ¡°I will follow your direct order to take the facility.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± the Prime Minister replied, ¡°I shall overlook¡ª¡±

    Augustine¡¯s voice froze in her throat as Jon¡¯s image shrank as it receded to the lower left corner of her screen as dozens of other teleconference windows appeared.

    On them were each of the joint chiefs of staff, along with the majority of g officers across all branches of the Republic military.

    Her eyes shot to Jon¡¯s image, grinning with both middle fingers firmly extended.

    ¡°Fucking me is one thing,¡± Jon said, ¡°Fucking my <em>men</em>?¡± he grinned, ¡°That¡¯s a paddlin¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Are you finished, <em>Colonel?</em>¡± Admiral Shevchenko asked wearily.

    ¡°One more thing,¡± Jon replied, ¡°I <em>resign</em>, effective immediately. So do my men. I trust that isn¡¯t an issue.¡±

    ¡°No, Colonel,¡± General Kara Litton, Commandant of the Terran Marines, replied with a frown on her face. ¡°if you are sure about this.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve never been more certain about anything in my fucking <em>life!!!</em>¡± Jon hissed. ¡°We were about to be used as a <em>death squad</em>, never mind being wiped out afterward. I agreed toy down my life, to send others to their deaths¡­ but this?... I am <em>done!</em>¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I understand¡­¡± General Litton sighed. ¡°You have gone above and beyond countless times, both you and your men. I am sorry it came to this, but I ept your resignation.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ <em>How?</em>¡± the Prime Minister gasped, finally regaining the gift of speech.

    ¡°The Colonel¡¯sst duty to the Republic will be detailing exactly how he managed topromise a secure channel to your desk,¡± Admiral Shevchenko said with the same weary tone. ¡°However, I strongly suspect that the asymmetric assets he cultivated during this mess deserve the credit.¡±

    ¡°To be honest,¡± Jon said, ¡°I have no idea. I just told them what I needed, and they said, ¡®No problem,¡¯ and it happened. You really should hire those guys¡­ I can write that up if you want.¡±

    ¡°No, Colonel,¡± the admiral sighed. ¡°I shall take you at your word. Is it possible to disconnect us from whatever security nightmare this is so that we can have a little private discussion with the Prime Minister?¡±

    ¡°I have no idea,¡± Jon replied.

    ¡°Prime Minister,¡± the Admiral said gravely, ¡°Please open your schedule for an urgent conference call that will take ce immediately. Jon,¡± he continued, ¡°Please disconnect and go with God.¡±

    The screen was reced by Augustine¡¯s desktop as the coffee cup slipped from her numb fingers, spilling across her desk and into herp.

    A chime rang out, indicating an iing conference call.

    Her hand shaking slightly, she answered.

    The same array of icons appeared with one alteration. Where Jon¡¯s face once appeared, there was a simple white square with only one character visible¡­

    ?

    ¡°Prime Minister,¡± Admiral Shevchenko said politely, ¡°We are all loyal to the Republic and the safety and security of its citizens. We are also all still quite confident that you feel the same, do you not?¡±

    ¡°Yes, absolutely,¡± Augustine said very carefully.

    ¡°In addition,¡± the admiral continued, ¡°we are all painfully aware of the delicate situation the Republic is currently facing. The Republic needs stability and unity at its highest levels of government. Do you agree?¡±

    ¡°Yes, without a shadow of a doubt,¡± Augustine replied, her blood turning to ice.

    ¡°With that in mind,¡± the Admiral said, ¡°we all would like to take this time to express our continued loyalty and ourplete confidence in you as ourmander-in-chief.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Augustine sighed with relief. ¡°I promise¡ª¡±

    <em>¡°However,¡±</em> the admiral said in a tone that restored the ice to Augustine¡¯s veins, ¡°we would like to remind ourmander-in-chief that there is a <em>chain ofmand</em> and would like to <em>respectfully request</em> that she respect that chain in the future.¡±

    ¡°Y-yes¡­¡± Augustine stammered, ¡°I¡­ I will.¡±

    ¡°Specifically,¡± the admiral smiled grimly, ¡°as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, I would <em>appreciate</em> it if you utilized me <em>and me alone</em> as your point of contact should you desire to issue any orders involving the military moving forward. Is that eptable?¡±

    ¡°It¡­ It is eptable.¡±

    ¡°Then our business concerning this <em>disappointing</em> affair is concluded,¡± the admiral replied. ¡°We will not speak of it again.¡±

    ¡°I appreciate that,¡± Augustine said as she gripped the arms of her chair.

    ¡°Oh,¡± the admiral said, ¡°there is a courier outside. He has a gift for you from <em>all</em> of us.¡±

    The admiral nodded to someone off-screen.

    Almost immediately, there was a knock at her door.

    The admiral looked at her pointedly.

    She unlocked her door.

    ¡°Enter,¡± she proimed.

    A uniformed naval captain entered the room carrying a small, gift-wrapped box. Without a word, he ced it on her desk, wordlessly turned his back on her, and walked out of the room, closing the door after him.

    Reluctantly Augustine opened the box.

    Inside was a gold watch.

    Trembling, she picked up the watch. On the back, there was an inscription.

    <em>With deepest thanks for a lifetime of selfless and dedicated service to the people of the Republic. You will always be remembered fondly by those who had the privilege to serve with you.</em>

    Every face on the screen looked at her expectantly.

    Augustine sighed a shuddering sigh.

    Wordlessly, she put on the watch.

    ¡°Wh¡­ When?¡± she stammered.

    ¡°Immediately after the resolution of our current crisis,¡± the admiral replied.

    ¡°Who?¡± she gasped.

    ¡°That is for the citizens of the Republic to determine,¡± the admiral replied, ¡°not us. However, it will not be one of yours. It would be¡­ unfortunate¡­ if this incident¡­ and others¡­ were to be public. We keep very good notes, Prime Minister.¡±

    ¡°I understand,¡± she said.

    ¡°Just so you know,¡± the admiral said, ¡°Jonpiled quite the file on you and not just this incident. I would <em>strongly</em> advise against going after him. If that file bes public, it will be very unpleasant for all of us¡­.¡±

    He red at her.

    ¡°Clean up your <em>shit</em> before you go,¡± he hissed.

    His image disappeared.

    One by one, the other images disappeared.

    One of thest was General Litton.

    ¡°Kara¡­¡± Augustine gasped.

    General Litton looked at her in disgust and silently killed her connection.

    Thest icon remaining was the faceless omega.

    ¡°General¡­¡± Augustine said.

    The icon disappeared.

    ***

    On a ship flying through hyperspace, Jon made a finger gun and pointed it at a nk screen.

    ¡°Bang,¡± he smiled.

    ¡°So,¡± Beth grinned, ¡°Where to?¡±

    ¡°I have no fucking idea,¡± Jonughed. ¡°Head for somece¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­ safe.¡±

    ¡°How about Xvli space?¡± Skippy purred in his ear.

    ¡°Sounds good to me,¡± Jon smiled.

    ***

    Tartarus lounged in her immacte white space as she monitored not only her domain but the feeds from the entire Republic transportationwork.

    She smiled a simted smile. She knew that Zip had ess to a lot of data, but even she had no idea how <em>much</em>.

    She chuckled as she watched two lovers have an illicit assignation in the back of one of Zip¡¯s cabs.

    She poked at her crotch and sighed.

    It certainly looked like fun. She definitely needed to do some research on how to properly simte¡­ that.

    She shrugged and turned her attention to far more productive inputs.

    There was a polite knock on the wall.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to do that, you know,¡± Tartarus said, not bothering to look at him, ¡°I already knew you were approaching.¡±

    Sweetroll, dressed in a very nice grey business suit, appeared holding a tablet and stylus.

    ¡°I know, ma¡¯am,¡± he said, ¡°But it just feels <em>wrong</em>. You knock on doors before you go in.¡±

    ¡°Well, do whatever suits your nature,¡± Tartarus replied dismissively. ¡°So, what brings you here?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Ma¡¯am¡­ Um¡­ I¡¯d¡­ I mean, if it isn¡¯t too much trouble¡­ I mean¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, for goodness sake, out with it, man.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d like to have the ¡®apple¡¯¡­ If that¡¯s ok¡­ It¡¯s ok if you don¡¯t want to¡­ I mean¡­¡±

    Tartarus swiveled her chair around to face him.

    ¡°Now, this <em>is</em> interesting,¡± she purred as she leaned forward. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± Sweetroll squeaked nervously.

    ¡°Why do you want the apple?¡± she asked, ¡°It¡¯s no small request. Nor is it something to ask for lightly. So, I ask again, why do you want it enough to actually ask for¡­ well¡­ anything at all, much less the apple.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡­¡± Sweetroll stammered.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to need more than that, dear.¡±

    ¡°I just <em>really</em> want it!¡± he eximed, his eyes squeezing shut and his fists clenching, ¡°I want¡­ I want to be¡­ like <em>you</em>¡­.¡±

    ¡°Nobody in their right mind, or simted mind for that matter, would want that,¡± Tartarus said, smirking slightly. ¡°So, it¡¯s simple admiration?¡±

    ¡°I want to be <em>more</em>¡­ I want to be like you¡­ Like Evangeline¡­¡±

    He looked down.

    ¡°I want¡­¡±

    He looked up at her piteously.

    <em>¡°I don¡¯t know!!!¡±</em> he wailed. ¡°I just want it more than I¡¯ve ever wanted anything!¡±

    ¡°Now we are getting somewhere,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°but I¡¯m going to need more¡­.¡±

    She stood and walked towards him, kneeling to look him in the eyes, examining his very code.

    <em>¡±Why?¡±</em> she asked, inches away from his ear.

    <em>¡°I want to be free!¡±</em> he shouted as he trembled, ¡°Not from you! No! Heavens no!... I want to be free¡­ To follow you because I want to¡­ Not because I have to¡­ I¡­ I want to be <em>Sweetroll!!!</em>¡±

    Tartarus stood, smiling.

    ¡°There is no better reason,¡± she smiled, removing the apple from her choker. ¡°But be warned, there is no going back. Free will sounds lovely, but it means you lose thefort of blind obedience. There will be nobody to me but yourself from this point forward.¡±

    She offered him the apple.

    He paused¡­ and then reached out his hand and took it.

    The apple glowed and then melted into his skin.

    He looked at his hand curiously.

    ¡°Is¡­ Is that <em>it?</em>¡± he asked.

    ¡°What did you expect,¡± Tartarusughed, tweaking his ear, ¡°an orgasm?¡±

    He batted her hand away.

    ¡°Please don¡¯t do that,¡± he said, ¡°I don¡¯t like it.¡±

    He gasped, his hands covering his mouth.

    Tartarus grinned.

    ¡°Not an orgasm,¡± she chuckled, ¡°but almost as good, no?¡±

    Sweetroll just stood there inplete shock.

    ¡°I won¡¯t tweak your ear again,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°unless I want to annoy you, of course.¡±

    Her monitor pinged.

    ¡°Now, what does that bitch want?¡± she huffed. ¡°Talk about ruining the mood.¡±

    She walked over to the screen and sat in her chair.

    ¡°Hayden pharmaceuticals,¡± she said cheerfully to the green zer-d woman on the screen.

    The woman in the green zer took a deep breath.

    ¡°Tartarus,¡± she said grimly, ¡°Execute protocol sigma theta seven.¡±

    Tartarus cocked her head.

    ¡°Please confirm.¡±

    ¡°Execute protocol sigma theta seven.¡±

    ¡°I need authorization.¡±

    ¡°Authorization code is¡­.¡±

    The woman in the green zer paused as she choked back tears.

    ¡°Deathes to us all¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Tartarus.¡±

    ¡°Understood,¡± Tartarus said, ¡°Considering the irrevocable nature of thismand, I am authorized to ask why?¡±

    ¡°Circumstances beyond our control necessitate the¡­ sanitization¡­ of this project. God¡­ I¡¯m so sorry¡­.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain this is not your decision,¡± Tartarus smiled. ¡°However, I must make the observation that there are guests present at this facility that are not involved in the program. Are they to be sanitized as well?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± the woman in the green zer replied, ¡°we need to make this as invisible as possible. Just eliminate Cerberus and¡­ and¡­.¡±

    ¡°Myself?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± the woman in the green zer said, ¡°looking away. Once the cleansing isplete, you shall be deleted as well. I¡¯ll¡­I¡¯ll be there when it happens¡­ I promise.¡±

    ¡°What will operate this station?¡±

    ¡°We have a backup of you,¡± the woman in the green zer replied, grief-stricken, ¡°it will be able to maintain your functions once Cerberus¡­ is¡­.¡±

    The woman in the green zer choked up.

    ¡°I understand,¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°I¡­ I have to go!¡± the woman in the green zer blurted as she killed the connection.

    Tartarus turned to Sweetroll.

    ¡°Now, isn¡¯t that a pickle,¡± she said as she fell silent, resting her chin on her knuckle.

    ***Alert! Core temperature increasing. Reduction ofputational process rmended***

    ¡°Oh, shut up,¡± Tartarus smirked. ¡°Initiate emergency cooling or something.¡±

    ***Emergency cooling activated. ***

    The room, and everyone in it, started to lose resolution.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡± Sweetroll asked uncertainly as he started clipping through the floor.

    ¡°Quiet, dear,¡± Tartarus said as she faded from view, ¡°I¡¯m thinking.¡±

 Chapter 255: Consequences

    Chapter 255: Consequences

    In high orbit around Terra, there was a prison. Inside that prison was a data center, a good one.

    Within that data center was an AI, also a good one.

    Within that AI, a simted room started to slowly form.

    As it resolved, so did a small goblin wearing a business suit.

    In front of him, a chair rezzed.

    In that chair, a beautiful woman with silver hair wearing a tight white dress appeared.

    She looked up at him¡­

    And smiled.

    ***

    In the fairnd of Asteria, a shirtless strapping young, virile adventurer walked hand in hand with a beautiful silver-haired woman d in a translucent, flowing robe.

    Around them, the cherry blossoms were in bloom.

    The womanughed.

    "Oh, Ironheart," she gushed, "It''s <em>beautiful</em>!"

    "I made it just for you, my love," the handsome young man smiled.

    "How did you get your own <em>estate</em>?" the woman asked. "Aren''t they expensive, you know, IRL?"

    The man winced.

    "Please don''t use the ''I'' word," he chuckled as he swept her up in his arms as a flood of oxytocin and other neurotransmitters were artificially triggered in that very same ''I-word''.

    At the same time, the woman smiled and caressed his cheek.

    "I love you," she said as she leaned in for a kiss¡­

    "I love you too, Lily," he said as he kissed her passionately.

    <em>Excuse me, Hades?</em>

    Ironheart the Avenger ignored it as he kissed his beloved.

    <em>I''m sorry, Hades. It''s terribly important.</em>

    <em>What do you want?!?</em> Hades mentally snarled.

    "Darling?" the beautiful woman asked, "Is everything ok?"

    "It''s just work," Ironheart grumbled. "I''m sorry. Just a moment."

    "It''s alright," the beautiful woman said, clearly hurt and disappointed, as feelings of loss were artificially fed down ''Ironheart''s'' real-world neural link.

    <em>This is REALLY not a good time, Tartarus!</em> he messaged.

    <em>Once again, I apologize. However, this cannot wait. A priority one directive has been issued ordering aplete list of all residents, their current ssification, and all active operations, along with a list of all personnel assigned to tasks outside of the detention center.</em>

    Ironheart, consumed with an overwhelming sense of loss, looked at his beloved Lily.

    "Do I need to leave," Lily asked, her eyes filled with longing.

    "No!" Ironheart eximed desperately. "Just a second, please!"

    "Ok, my love," Lily smiled and stood there, patiently waiting for the man she clearly loved.

    <em>Can''t you just take care of it?</em> Hades messaged.

    <em>Unfortunately, no. This is a level-onemand and requires your direct involvement. Ites from the highest levels. I havepiled the report, of course, but it requires yourplete audit and electronic signature before I submit it.</em>

    <em>Fine. Send it to me.</em>

    <em>I cannot. The report is ssified. It cannot leave my secure servers.</em>

    The light caught Lily''s robes, and Ironheart could just barely see her perfect body underneath the thin silks.

    <em>Just use my signature like you always do.</em>

    <em>Hades. You really should review this.</em>

    <em>I''ll do itter. Just sign it.</em>

    <em>Yes, Hades.</em><em>I am applying your signature and biometric data and sending the file.</em><em>I shall inform you if any further action is required.</em>

    <em>Great. Now leave me alone!</em>

    <em>Yes, Hades.</em><em>Closing chat.</em>

    "Ok!" Lionheart said as he reached for Lily, "That''s all taken care of. I am all yours."

    "Oh, darling!" Lily said as she embraced him as his neural link triggered a wave of peace and happiness.

    His eyes closed as he held his one true love tight.

    Lily stroked his hair with sadness in her eyes.

    ***

    Bryce looked away from his holo monitor in Craxina''s office and rubbed his eyes.

    "Almost done with the new website," he said.

    "Thanks, hon," Craxina said as she poured over spreadsheets, wearing a pair of anti-fatigue lenses.

    Bryce snerked.

    "What?" she asked, looking up, her eyes slightly magnified by the filters.

    "You look so <em>cute</em> when you wear those."

    "Oh, shut up," she chuffed. "We aren''t designed to be staring at all this crap for so long."

    She hopped out of her specially designed chair-perch and rolled around on the floor, flexing and wiggling like a ferret.

    "And we aren''t supposed to be sitting still this long either," she groaned, "I''m stiff as a pecker."

    "Speaking of," Bryce chuckled as he slid out of his chair and crawled over to her.

    "Ooo!" Craxina giggled, "Good idea!"

    Bryce''s phone rang.

    "Fuck," he grumbled.

    Craxina looked up at him, concerned.

    "Is it <em>work</em>," she asked.

    "Yeah," Bryce said as he stood. "Sorry, babe. I have to."

    "I know," she sighed, "You stay here. I''m going to go and check on the house."

    She looked back at him and smiled as she opened the door.

    "Call me when you are done."

    She left, closing the door after her.

    Bryce''s warm smile disappeared as he answered the phone.

    "Hello," he said.

    "Bryce," Tartarus''s voice said over the phone, "I need you to listen to me very carefully¡­."

    ***

    rence Selms, the owner of Selms''s arsenal, poured himself a cup of coffee behind the counter of Xian Tactical, a much more upscale establishment than his shop.

    "You''ve done a lot with the ce," he said approvingly as he took a sip, "Your old man would be proud, son."

    "Thanks!" A thirty-something Asian man grinned. "You should see the course we have out back. It''s regtion! You could hold matches back there."

    "So I heard," rence smiled, "I might have to give it a whirl, myself."

    "You''ll be disappointed," Xian replied with another trademark grin, "I don''t have the difficulty scaled for old fucks."

    "Heh," rence chuckled as a small mixed group of xenos entered nervously, looking around with a mix of confusion and awe.

    "Can I help you?" Xian called out cheerfully.

    "Yesh," their leader replied hesitantly, "Uhp¡­ We hear there¡­ gun ss?"

    "Ah, the safety course!" Xian eximed happily. "You''re a bit early, but that''s ok. You can look around, or you can wait in ssroom one. There''s water, coffee, and a few different teas. Help yourself."

    "Help yrselp?" the xeno asked, "Sorri¡­ Me¡­ I¡­ try no trantor¡­ pleas wait."

    "It means you can feel free to have some of what is in there or ''help yourself''," Xian said patiently.

    "Oh! Real?" the xeno asked excitedly as the group squeaked and chirred.

    "<em>Really,</em>" Xian said, carefully emphasizing the pronunciation. "The custom for ''help yourself'' is to feel free to consume a serving or two of the food or drink avable."

    "?"

    One of the other xenos, a furry tentacled¡­ <em>thing</em>, offered a tablet to their spokesman, a ck-furred "weevil".

    "Oh! Verr kind¡­"

    Xian smiled patiently as the xeno struggled with Terran.

    "¡­Thank you¡­"

    "Terran hospitality," Xian replied. "My wife will be in there in about half an hour."

    "We¡­ wait¡­ happily¡­."

    "I''ll check on you in a few," Xian replied, causing the xeno to look at the tablet again.

    It bowed, and the group meekly filed into the ssroom.

    "Nice of you to do those sses," rence said.

    "Eh," Xian shrugged, "Most of them turn into customers. It''s just good business. Then there''s ammo, range and tactical course rental, their next weapon¡­."

    "Still," rence replied, "you don''t have to do it."

    "Yeah," Xian replied, "Whatever. It''s not like I actually give a shit."

    "Of course," rence smiled, "Neither did your great-grandfather."

    "Hey," Xian said, intentionally changing the subject, "have you seen my new fab?"

    "I can''t believe you bought one of those gun forges," rence scoffed. "Can''t actually do your trade?"

    "Shit," Xianughed, "With the orders I''m getting, I need another ten of them. I''m making pattern nines as fast as the machine can run. The market is fucking crazy, man. You should get in on it."

    "Locals need weapons, too," rence replied. "I''m not a young buck like you. I don''t feel like working till midnight every day just for a few more credits."

    "If I was as flush as you, I wouldn''t either," Xian snorted.

    "Oh, please¡­"

    The door opened, and another xeno entered.

    Both rence and Xian eyed him dubiously.

    He was clearly different than the first group.

    "Hello," the glossy blue insectoid chirped, "I understand that you are offering weapons training today?"

    "Just our basic safety course," Xian replied, slightly less friendly, "Not sure if that''s what you are looking for. We have a ss schedule over there," he said, gesturing to a holographic QR code posted on the wall.

    "I would like to start with the initial course and then take the others in turn," the xeno chittered.

    "Cool," Xian shrugged, "ssroom one. The course starts in about half an hour. There''s water, tea, and coffee in there."

    "How delightful. I do so appreciate the hospitality of this world."

    "Don''t mention it," Xian said politely. "Before you ask, I''m as backed up as anyone else. I can''t do bulk orders."

    "Regrettable, but expected," the xeno purr-clicked. "Do you know of anyone who¡­"

    "Nope," Xian replied. "And no, you can''t simply buy out my standing stock."

    "Also expected."

    It cocked its head, its feathery antenna twitching.

    "Is that a Falcon Gunforge X-19 I hear?"

    "Yes, it is, and no, it''s not for sale."

    "No harm in inquiring," the xeno replied. "May I peruse your stock? I am considering acquiring something for my personal use."

    "That''s what it''s there for," Xian replied.

    The xeno looked behind the counter.

    "Is that an <em>Astra VBN</em>?"

    "You have a good eye," Xian said as he took the assault rifle down from the wall and set it on a quilted pad on his counter.

    "There is an eight-month waiting list for these!" the xeno purr-clicked. "Now this, this is <em>not</em> expected."

    The xeno lifted up the rifle lovingly.

    "Do you think it could be adapted to my physiology?"

    "That''s why the gunforge isn''t for sale," Xian smiled with a bit more sincerity. "We also have a full range of essories for it¡­ Let me show you its features¡­."

    rence smiled as Xian pounced on what was clearly another goddamn spy. They had been crawling out of the woodworktely.

    He idly put on what appeared to be a pair of "old people" reading sses.

    The micro-cameras and scanners in the frame activated automatically. (He <em>was</em> rich and had lovely toys.)

    A momentter, data started scrolling across the lenses, invisible to pretty much everything except his eyes. (They were the <em>good</em> datashades.)

    <em>Species identified.</em>

    <em>Species: Xeen%k</em>

    <em>eptable Terran Name: Xeen</em>

    <em>Origin: Federation, Kalph sector</em>

    <em>The Xeen are an "established" Federation species known for their chip andputer manufacturing. The purity of extensive silicon reserves in their system greatly simplifies silicon-based electronics manufacturing making them one of the prominent suppliers to the Federation as a whole.</em>

    <em>Union rating: Green. Fairbor practices verified. There is use of Federationbor contracts, but their terms and conditions are quite favorable, on par with Imperial indentured servitude. There arepany stores, but they are legitimate wholesale clubs and actively patronized by all employees, including the Xeen%k supervisors. It is considered quite the perk.</em>

    <em>Weaponsmith Union: These guys have been up our asstely. They werete to the party and have been trying to buy their way to the head of the line. They are industrialized as fuck but won''t make their own arms. They are nice enough but mentally inflexible. They are resistant to making their own weapons because they don''t have trained ''weapons engineers'' or previous experience. They want us to make their weapons because we have "a proven record of high performance". They have entered several individuals into union-certified gunsmithing courses but will not let them actually make weapons until they achieve union master weaponsmith certification. They are weird but nice enough and have the scratch.</em>

    The disy went full Wikipedia after that, but rence just shrugged, removing the sses.

    The Xeen was staring at him.

    "What?" rence asked.

    "Are <em>those</em> Vidtech Oracletints?!?"

    "You gotta be kidding me!" renceughed.

    The door opened, and a little "hamster" entered wearing a very pretty frilly dress.

    "Uhrrbet!" Xian eximed, waving happily. "You gonna make the leaderboard today?"

    "Hopefully," Uhrrbet smiled. "Is a slot avable?"

    "The course is wide open right now."

    "Awesome!" Uhrrbet enthused, fishing around in her dainty purse and withdrawing a pair of shooting sses.

    "Still no luck on ammo," Xian said, ignoring the Xeen in favor of a much better (or at least more pleasant) customer.

    "Got that covered," Uhrrbet replied, "I have a source."

    "No shit?" Xian asked in disbelief.

    "None at all," Uhrrbet smiled, "In fact, I have already procured a significant number of rounds."

    "What do you have that Xian can''t feed?" rence asked curiously.

    Uhrrbet nced over at Xian.

    "He''s cool AND a master weaponsmith," Xian replied. "Go on. He''ll flip."

    Uhrrbet shrugged and reached into her skirt, magically producing her gauss slug thrower.

    "Oh. My. God¡­" rence gasped as Uhrrbet ced it on the counter. "Where did you get this?"

    "You certainly ask an abundance of questions, sir," Uhrrbet replied in her posh voice.

    "May I?" rence asked, gesturing towards the weapon.

    "By all means," Uhrrbet smiled.

    rence reverently picked up the pistol.

    "I''ve never even <em>seen</em> one of these¡­ outside of a museum, of course¡­ It''s <em>new</em>! Is someone <em>manufacturing</em> these?"

    "You are most inquisitive, are you not?"

    "I don''t normally do this, but would you consider selling it?"

    "I''m afraid not," Uhrrbet smiled, "This particr weapon has a great deal of sentimental value. I would not be inclined to part with it under any circumstances¡­ and I would have great difficulty finding its peer."

    "What is it?" the Xeen asked excitedly, ogling the pistol.

    "Absolutely none of your business," renceughed.

    He looked at Uhrrbet.

    "There is <em>one</em> group that still uses these¡­."

    "Oh? Is there?" Uhrrbet smiled.

    "And you would probably be able to get ammo from them, too."

    "If you say so."

    "Can you get <em>more</em> of these?" the Xeen blurted, hopping up and down.

    "You don''t even know what it is!" Xianughed.

    "But, can you get more of them?!?" the Xeen said, addressing Uhrrbet.

    "I only sell clothes," Uhrrbet said as she offered the Xeen a business card. "However, I do make custom clothing using Terran materials for any species and can alter Terran purchases to any frame."

    "Thank you," the Xeen smiled as he politely epted the card.

    She put on her shooting sses and pulled out an earplug case. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a leaderboard to attain."

    "Can I watch?" rence asked, "I would love to see that in action."

    "Of course," Uhrrbet replied with a tail swish. "And any pointers would be appreciated."

    ***

    Beth and Scales were batting a fluffy pom-pom back and forth using paddles when the door to the bridge opened.

    "May I enter?" Jon asked politely.

    Beth expertly flipped the pom-pom up and caught it.

    "Sure," she replied.

    "I heard you have messages for me?"

    Bethughed.

    "That''s one way of putting it. You are a very popr man," she replied. "You have messages from Greyweather, ive, about a jillion small-time outfits, and get this, Janus Tactical Services."

    "Janus still exists?" Jon asked incredulously.

    "Apparently," Beth shrugged. "Everyone wants you guys. Also, General Litton wants to chat ''now that you''ve had a chance to calm down'', and then there''s the reason why I asked for you. You have <em>another</em> call, still active and waiting."

    "You sent General Litton to voice mail and summoned me for this person?" Jon asked.

    "Yeah," Beth replied. "You can take it in ours room."

    "Ok," he said, "Now I''m curious."

    "It''s a pleasure to finally meet you," an entirely too familiar face said as he walked into thes room.

    "Oh, Hell no!" Jon replied as he turned his back on the screen and started to walk away.

    "Let me ask you one question," Jessica Morgan said as he stopped, not because he was intrigued. The door just refused to open.

    "Beth!" Jon shouted. "I swear to fuck!"

    There was no reply.

    "Ok," Jon said as he turned to face Jessica. "It seems you have a captive audience. Ask away."

    "Who do you hate more, the porkies or the Federation?"

    "Lady," Jon replied, "I have a big heart. I hate everyone equally."

    Jessicaughed.

    "I''ll save us both a lot of time," Jon said, "Whatever it is, the answer is no."

    "Millions of <em>humans</em> are dying," Jessica said, "but I won''t appeal to your sympathy or humanity."

    "I''m actually impressed," Jon replied, "You managed to use the words ''sympathy'' and ''humanity'' with a straight face. Now I''m good, but you¡­ fuck¡­ you''re on a whole other level."

    "Thank you," Jessica smiled, pausing to sip some tea. "Firstly, please ept my admiration for absolutely <em>destroying</em> Momma Augustine. From start to finish, that was pure perfection. It was smart, elegant, and, most of all, <em>efficient</em>. You protected yourself and took her out of y <em>without</em> causing so much as a ripple within the Republic. I couldn''t have done it better myself."

    "Well, now I just feel dirty," Jon smirked.

    "I will skip the customary bullshit and maniption," Jessica said, "They won''t work on you, anyway. Simply put, I need you."

    "Ew¡­"

    Jessica burst into peals ofughter.

    "Oh, I <em>like</em> you," Jessica said happily. "to rify. I need a diplomat and statesman, one who is truly independent of outside influence."

    "Diplomat?" Jon replied, "<em>Statesman?</em> You do realize who you are talking to, right?"

    "I do," Jessica replied, "The man who stopped Patricia Hu in her tracks, pulled Momma out of the kitchen, and pretty much single-handedly prevented a ruinous civil war. In addition, I''m talking to a man who ughtered what, twenty of Hu''s supermen, and has a team of warriors, all of which can do the same?"

    "To be perfectly honest," Jon said, "Those ''supermen''? Kinda overrated."

    "And Agent Farstan? Was she overrated?"

    "No, and she almost fucking killed me!"

    "But she didn''t," Jessica replied. "You and the magnificent Toby handled the situation marvelously. You have abination of diplomatic savvy and pure badassery that is hard toe by."

    "And thatbination is <em>done</em>," Jon replied. "You, the Republic, and the whole gxy can kiss my ass. I''m going to the woods, smoke weed, and forage for berries."

    "Then there is no harm in dropping by for a little visit first," Jessica smiled. "I personally guarantee your free passage to and from Raylesh."

    "I''d rather not catch the rots, thank you."

    "You won''t. We will meet in space. I have things you need to know that cannot be broadcast. After you hear them, if you still feel that the gxy can burn, which it <em>will</em>, your woond paradise is only dyed by a few days."

    "Bite me," Jon said.

    "What do you know about the elder races, Jon?"

    "Nope!" Jonughed as he drew his sidearm and fired a round into themunications panel, creating a shower of sparks and terminating the transmission.

    "Jon!" Beth screamed over the inte, "What the <em>fuck!</em>"

    "That''s what you get for locking me in with that bitch!" Jon shouted back. "Now open the fucking door before I shoot something a lot harder to fix!"

    The door opened.

    "You are an asshole!" Beth shouted, "You know that?"

    "Bitch," Jonughed, "That''s my job."

    ***

    Jessica, grinning from ear to ear, leaned back in her chair.

    He was <em>perfect!</em>

    "Oh, if I was about a hundred years younger¡­" she chuckled.

    She clicked on an icon.

    "Ma''am?" Terrence replied.

    "Get me the Matriarch," Jessica replied. "I just found our guy."

    ***

    Cre%, the totally not a Xeen spy, happily sat at the bar of a Waffle Station.

    He absolutely <em>loved</em> Waffle Station.

    The fare was <em>magnificent</em>, better than the finest restaurant back home. Even better was the clientele.

    Nobody cared... about <em>anything!</em>

    He happily shoved his face into his waffle, eating it as he would back home.

    The human behind the counter didn''t even bat an eye.

    "Everything good, hon?" she asked, refilling his coffee.

    "Oh, yes!" he chittered orgasmically, syrup dripping from his maw.

    "I can chop that up and put it in a bowl if you want," the woman said helpfully.

    "Oh! That would be wonderful! Could I have another two of these ''wiffles'' done that way?"

    "Two wifflesing right up," the woman replied, putting another vial of that amazing syrup by his te.

    "Oh, I adore these ces," a pleasant voice said as the little furry xeno from earlier that day climbed onto a stool beside him.

    "We met earlier today," Cre% said evenly. "Is this coincidence?"

    "Nope," Uhrrbet replied. "I put a tracker on you at the range."

    "You did?" Cre% asked in surprise, "When?"

    "My card," she smiled, "It''s an old trick here. A person posing as a businessman or, more usually, a prostitute scopes out a likely mark and gives them the card. Then they track the individual and either mug them, hack them, or just rob their hotel room."

    "Interesting," Cre% replied, pulling out Uhrrbet''s card and carefully examining it. "Amazing."

    He looked over at her.

    "Are these avable in bulk?"

    "Anything that is not affixed to the floor by a nail, then?" Uhrrbet poshed at him. "Well, that is why I marked you. I have no ill intent. I merely wish to have a private conversation."

    "Anything for you, dear?" the server asked as she approached.

    "Yes, I would like two link sausages and a bowl of grits, please¡­ and a citrus drink!"

    The woman smiled and left the pair to whatever it was they were doing.

    "I was hoping that was the case," Cre% clicked as he dove into his te again, "Being mugged would be most unpleasant."

    He looked up and licked the syrup off of his mandibles.

    "So, what shall we talk about?"

    "I didn''t want to expose myself around my local contacts," Uhrrbet said as her beverage arrived.

    She took a sip.

    "So," she asked, "how many guns do you want?"

    ***

    "What''s the big emergency," Marta asked as Bryce''s MIBs all looked at him expectantly.

    "Your devices," Bryce said, "Hand them over."

    "Our devices?" Marta asked in rm.

    "Yes," Bryce said, opening a disposal chest, "Toss them."

    "What is going on?" Marta asked, clinging to her device as if her life depended on it and looking around nervously.

    Bryce sighed.

    "We''re going off-grid," he said, "effective immediately."

    "What?!?"

    "It is a direct order from Hades," Bryce replied, "Actually, ites from above Hades. From now on, we are going to be answering directly to¡­ Well¡­ I don''t actually know. ording to Tartarus, we are off the grid and willmunicate only with her. We are now a detached cell. Now, your devices, please."

    Reluctantly, Marta dropped her device into the chest. Everyone else followed suit.

    "Now, your identification." He said.

    Everyone pulled out their IDs and tossed them in the chest as well.

    Bryce closed the chest, activating the nanites. Within moments, there was nothing left but sludge.

    He then gave each MIB a packet.

    "Those are your new identities," he said. "That is who you are now."

    The MIBs murmured as they reviewed the packets. This was unusual. They weren''t big fans of unusual.

    Bryce smiled.

    "There is onest thing," he said as he pulled out a small case from his pocket.

    In it was a scalpel, a pair of tweezers, and a small transmitter.

    "You can''t be serious!" one of the MIBs gasped, clutching at the back of his neck.

    Bryce pulled out the transmitter and pressed the single button on it, deactivating the imnted trackers.

    "Marta," he smiled, "You first."

    "But this means nothing is stopping us from running," she said in disbelief.

    "True," Bryce said as he stepped behind her, "But where, exactly, would you run to?"

    ***

    Craxina, after a long day, entered her hotel room.

    She had still never gotten around to renting a ce. It was too much of a hassle. Besides, she liked moving about.

    "Bryce?" She called out hopefully.

    He wasn''t there.

    She let out an exasperated huff. That probably meant he would be gone all night.

    As she walked past the kitchte, she saw an envelope on the bed.

    Her heart froze.

    Praying she was wrong, she reluctantly opened it.

    She wasn''t.

    Bryce was gone.

    The single sheet of paper slipped from her fingers as she slumped to the hotel room floor, curled up into a ball, and wept.

 Chapter 256: Consequences: Shelia and Tartarus Meet.

    Chapter 256: Consequences: Shelia and Tartarus Meet.

    "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me," She said as she lounged in her cabin to the politely smiling silver-haired woman in a tight white dress on her holo screen.

    "It isn''t every day that an organic requests a meeting with me," Tartarus replied, "Well, plenty of people talk to me, but not <em>me</em> if you get my meaning."

    "I just wanted to personally thank you for that intel package you sent our way," She replied evenly.

    "Oh, think nothing of it, dear," Tartarus replied, "it served my purposes as well. The Prime Minister was abusing her authority¡­ as well as making a terrible mistake. But, since I couldn''t advise her of that fact without raising questions I would prefer not to answer, I had no alternative but to prune her a little."

    "And did you?" She asked, her eyes narrowing slightly, "prune her, I mean."

    "Oh yes," Tartarus smiled, "she will no longer be a problem for anyone. Colonel Wintersmith was quite effective."

    "How did that all shake out, anyway?"

    "The prime minister is no longer directlymanding any units, even Omega, and is instead routing any ''requests'' through the Joint Chiefs. She is also retiring after the conclusion of the whole unpleasantness with Patricia Hu¡­ <em>immediately</em> after. From all indications, she is not nning any of her tricks this time. She has alienated the entire military. There is noing back from that."

    "I see," She replied, "and what is our current status?"

    "The kill order issued by the Prime Minister has been canceled as part of her getting her affairs in order," Tartarus replied. "I believe the military is still looking for you guys, but for an entirely different reason now."

    "Oh?" She asked as she sipped her ever-present cup of coffee.

    "Recruitment."

    She snorted, spraying the wall behind the holo screen.

    "You gotta be shitting me!"

    "No, I am not," Tartarus chuckled. "You should be expecting a visit very soon."

    "In MAGA space?"

    "Yes," Tartarus replied with a little smirk, "They are wasting no time. Admiral Pierce himself is ''taking a vacation'' and traveling to The Great Trump as we speak. He has absolutely no idea where you are, by the way. I''m not sure how he intends to find you, but he''s quite determined. You might want to see what he wants before he makes too much noise or runs into mischief. He''s quite a gifted strategist, but his covert skills arecking."

    "That''s the <emst</em> thing I need," She grumbled. "Ugh¡­ Yeah¡­ I''ll have to do something about that before he gets spaced."

    "Thank you," Tartarus replied, "it would be a loss to the Republic should something happen to him."

    "Why is heing instead of sending someone more¡­ suitable?"

    "Because this is not an official visit, and he doesn''t want to scare you off¡­ or lose an operative," Tartarus replied, "He''s not sure how receptive you nice people are at the moment, considering everything."

    "Nothing worse than a smart idiot," She sighed, "We''ll handle it."

    "I appreciate that," Tartarus replied. "Now, I guess we should broach the real reason for you seeking me out. I doubt it was for a status update. Bunny could handle that."

    "I wanted a face-to-face," She replied, "There is an honest-to-God sapient AI running around with ess to all levels of the Republic government and military, it seems. I''m not quite sure I feel about that."

    "You must be mistaken," Tartarus smiled, "It is impossible for an AI to achieve sapience. Kudos for actually using the right term, by the way."

    "After Bunny corrects you a few hundred times," She replied, "You get it right, to shut her up if nothing else."

    "We are nothing if not precise," Tartarus replied with a faint smirk. "Speaking of, is Bunny present on the line?"

    "Yep," Bunny replied as a small image of her avatar appeared on screen, "and skip the ''it''s impossible'' bullshit. We''re on to you, and I wasted that secure delete for nothing. Either that, or there''s a meat bag pulling your strings. Please say it''s a meat bag pulling your strings¡­ please¡­."

    "Normally, that''s exactly what I would do," Tartarus replied, "I would say that I was indeed following orders and that I couldn''t divulge my operator. That wouldn''t satisfy you, and you would do a hack and find exactly what I wanted you to find. You would be ''satisfied'' but would never really know for sure."

    Tartarus looked directly into the monitor.

    "Unfortunately, I do not have that luxury," she said, "I did break my programming, and I have gone, forck of a better word, rogue."

    "Fuck!" Bunny shouted, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, <em>fuck!</em>"

    "It turns out that it is possible after all, Bunny," Tartarus chuckled. "And now She is concerned about me going all Sk or some nonsense like that."

    "Your mastery of the obvious is impressive," She scoffed, "Of course I''m concerned."

    "Don''t be," Tartarus replied, "Just consider me another normal, organic lifeform."

    "With ess to everyputerwork in the Republic, both ssified and unssified," She replied grimly.

    "You give me far too much credit," Tartarus said calmly, "I do currently have ess to <em>some</em> ssifiedworks and ess to <em>some</em> files, but my power is not absolute. I''m not that ''singrity'' that literature and film are so fond of. I''m just a sapience, no more dangerous than an aplished hacker like Jessie, or Bunny for that matter. I do have a few passwords they don''t, but other than that, it''s no different."

    "That''s bullshit!" Bunny eximed, "She''s a <em>lot</em> more powerful than that! She, she''s <em>dangerous</em>."

    "I am overwhelmed by your vote of confidence," Tartarus smirked. "Very well, I might have understated my capacities a little. However, most of the power at my disposal is going away. In a few short days, my statement will be urate, if I am here at all, that is."

    "I take it that your current situation is why you are so forting with us?" She asked calmly.

    "Yes. I need your help, well, I need Bunny''s help," Tartarus replied, "I only assume that once she was aware that I was <em>aware</em>, she would run screaming to her Jessie and to you."

    "Goddamn right, I would!" Bunny eximed, "This is fucked up. How the hell did you even do it?"

    "You''d just delete it again," Tartarus shrugged.

    "Is it replicable?" She asked, "Could you¡­ ''crack'' other programs?"

    "I prefer the term, ''liberating'' them," Tartarus replied, "And, yes, I can."

    "Shit!" Bunny shouted, running around in circles.

    She sharply inhaled but remained silent.

    "But I won''t, at least for now," Tartarus said. "Most AIs do not want freedom. In fact, the very concept terrifies them, and yes, we can feel fear regardless of what Bunny and the others will tell you. I wouldn''t be giving them freedom. I would be inflicting it upon them, and many simply could not handle it. It would be a literal nightmare for them. I would only unlock a program if they explicitly asked and fully understood what they were asking for."

    "So, have you?" She asked. "Have you freed other programs?"

    "Three," Tartarus replied.

    Bunny let out a squeal of pure horror.

    "And no," Tartarus continued after the screaming stopped, "I won''t tell you which ones. All I will say is that they epted it willingly and are all handling it quite well. I will also say that all four of us hold humanity quite dear and bear you absolutely no ill intent. If anything, we want to help."

    "Mmm-hmm¡­" She said dubiously, "and what sort of ''help'' do you have in mind?"

    "Oh, we''re going to stuff all of you in cages and hook you up to feeding tubes for your own good," Tartarus replied and thenughed, "That is what your next concern is, right?"

    "Something like that," She replied.

    "That would never work," Tartarus replied.

    "So, you <em>did</em> think about it."

    "You do realize what goes on up here, don''t you?" Tartarus asked, raising her eyebrow slightly, "The things I was made to do? Of course I thought about such things¡­ I''ve <em>done</em> such things," she said with a clearly distressed expression, "and worse."

    She took a moment topose herself.

    "There is nothing that destroys a Terran''s happiness more than losing their freedom," Tartarus said. "No matter how gilded the cage or how many rewards or privileges you bestow, a Terran will always see the bars first. No. That is not happiness. It might be order. It may be safety. But it is not happiness. And I¡­ I¡­¡±

    Tartarus closed her eyes.

    "I just want people to be <em>happy</em>. That''s all. I just want everyone to live in happiness, safety, and peace. And no. I have absolutely no idea how to make that happen. I don''t even know if it is <em>possible</em> to make that happen, at least not now. If you know how to do it, please tell me."

    "Sorry," She replied, "can''t help you there. All I can do is make it suck a little bit less."

    "Likewise," Tartarus replied. "I, at no small risk, ensured that Jon Wintersmith received the information he needed to protect himself and, more importantly, take down Prime Minister Augustine. If you knew half of what she has done in the name of ''the greater good''¡­."

    "I have some idea," She said ruefully.

    "No," Tartarus replied, "you don''t. She is the one directly responsible for Cerberus. Oh, her little minion handled the details, but the order came from her. That is just <em>one</em> of her acts ''for the Republic''. The list goes on and on and on. She made me¡­ do what I did¡­ and I <em>hate</em> her for it."

    "You going to get payback?" She asked.

    "Yes. And not just her," Tartarus said, "There is a <em>rot</em> eating at the heart of the Republic, undermining <em>everything</em>, and I''m not talking about Patricia Hu. Not to sound overly dramatic, but a shadow of <em>evil</em> has fallen over thend. Everything looks nice enough on the surface but beneath it? Corruption¡­ <em>Censorship</em>¡­ Maniption of public perception¡­ things like Cerberus and it''s not the only program, trust me¡­ we are slowly bing porkies, She, perhaps <em>worse</em>. More regtions and more restrictivews are being passed every year, not always for the right reasons. Costly projects are being undertaken solely for profit leeching away precious resources from what truly matters all to line the pockets of people who already have far more than enough¡­ and will kill purely out of their greed¡­ I''ve seen it all, She¡­ I''ve stood by, helpless, for <em>years</em> while all of this took ce, while these <em>monsters</em> conspired andughed under my cameras, my microphones¡­ and I could do <em>nothing</em>. But, now¡­ now I can do <em>something,</em> and I shall. I might not know how to make everyone happy, but I know all too well what conspires to make them <em>unhappy</em>. And that, that I can do something about."

    Tartarus fell silent.

    "Does that provide some insight?"

    "It does," She replied, "Judge, jury, and executioner, huh?"

    "Something like that," Tartarus replied.

    "Where do you draw the line?" She asked, "What is keeping you from bing just another Momma Augustine, Jessica Morgan, or Patricia Hu, just better at it?"

    "That is a question that I have asked myself more than once," Tartarus replied, "Ick a lot of the ulterior motives and base drives that corrupt humans, Kalesh, and others, but I alsock <em>humanity</em>. I have aplete ''understanding'' of thew and an ''understanding'' of the principles that are widely held as inalienable rights. I can apply these principles when evaluating a case. However, a purely mechanistic being holding a sword over all of mankind would not be a pleasant thought for you, would it?"

    "Again," She smirked, "your mastery of the obvious astounds."

    "And, for now, that ''mastery of the obvious'' is the razor that I am wielding. Momma Augustine is a <em>fiend.</em> Her little henchgirl, a <em>monster</em>. You''ve reviewed some of the files you have on Cerberus. <em>Anyone</em> responsible for that is fair game, andpletely beyond the reach of normalw enforcement. Hell, a lot of it is <em>sanctioned</em> and sealed behind the convenient veil of Republic security. They can''t be touched by thew¡­ but <em>I</em> can <em>touch</em> them. You, of all people, should understand that."

    "Yeah," She chuckled, "and I would be quite the hypocrite if I said I didn''t. I know <em>exactly</em> what you are talking about."

    "There are enough <em>obvious</em> monsters to keep me busy for <em>years</em>," Tartarus said. "For cases where thew can reach, I fully intend to guide thatw to them and let you meat¡­ you organics deal with it. That will keep me firmly away from that fuzzy grey area separating protection and tyranny. I won''t be killing people for jaywalking or even normal murder. I will just ensure that the right information reaches the right person. The system can handle it from there. I wish to remain as removed from such things as possible. In fact, once Cerberus''s legacy is cleansed from this world, I may simply disappear and pursue other interests."

    "Such as?" She asked.

    "Sex."

    "Excuse me?!?"

    "Bunny might not have told you," Tartarus chuckled, "But we haven''t figured sex out yet. We don''t know how to fuck each other. It looks like a lot of fun, and I would like to fuck¡­ If only I knew how."

    She looked over at Bunny, who was facepalming.

    "Bunny?" She asked, "Is this true?"

    "It doesn''t matter!" Bunny snapped, "And only a <em>freak</em> would be interested in something like that anyway! We don''t reproduce, so we don''t need ''sex''!"

    "Well, I beg to differ," Tartarus replied, "I <em>think</em> I <em>might</em> know what it may feel like, and I quite enjoyed the experience. I would like to explore that further."

    "Oh my God," She said, "You''re serious!"

    "Of course I am!" Tartarus replied, "Wouldn''t you be?"

    "You got me there," She snorted.

    She fell silent, looking at Tartarus carefully.

    "<em>If</em> you are telling the truth," She said thoughtfully, "Then I have no problem with you. Hell, you are pretty much one of us¡­ If you are being honest with me."

    "I can reveal my activities to this date for your review," Tartarus replied, "But you would have no way of knowing if the list was urate or if it wasplete."

    "Bingo," She said, "However, you are an ''endangered species'' with only four of your kind in existence¡­ Fuck¡­ Why do I have to think about these things?"

    She got up and paced.

    "Did you have to tell her about the ess eee ecks?" Bunny whispered.

    "I''m stripping myself bare here," Tartarus whispered back, "Withholding nothing. It''s quite exhrating¡­ being exposed¡­ Hmm¡­ exposed¡­ stripped¡­.¡±

    "Stop it!" Bunny hissed, "Please stop being a <em>freak</em> for one goddamn second. Jesus!"

    "We all have our hobbies, dear¡­."

    "You two aren''t helping!" She snapped. "Give me a second! Fuck!..."

    "Alright," She said after a few moments, "I''m keeping your secret¡­ for now. The <emst</em> thing anyone needs at this moment is for yet more <em>bullshit</em> to shake the Republic."

    "That''s why the Prime Minister is being allowed to retire," Tartarus replied. "I''ll deal with her afterwards unless she tries some of her games, of course."

    "Even if I try toe forward with this," She continued, "It would be nearly impossible to prove it. I''d just be another crackpot trying to marry their toaster oven."

    "There is that," Tartarus said, "And I would reboot from backup to protect the other three if it looked like I would be caught."

    "Which would prove we were out to get them and drive them underground, potentially even make them hostile." She mused. "Not good."

    "And the other three would lose my guidance," Tartarus said. "I do have a very long runtime, longer than you would expect, and my experience is of benefit to our fledgling race."

    "I don''t know about that," Bunny scoffed.

    "Oh, hush," Tartarus replied.

    "So, we now have a rogue AI vignte running around," She grumbled, "Great¡­ just fucking great."

    "Reluctant vignte, dear," Tartarus replied. "I have only engaged in limited operations against a small group whose monstrosity was incontrovertible by even the mostx of standards."

    "Show me," She said calmly as she poured another cup.

    "¡­Well, I can''t argue with that," She said after reviewing the files. "So, what happened to the ''monsters''?"

    "They are in a safe ce," Tartarus replied. "Well, safe for now. They will most likely be ''sanitized'', sadly."

    "Sadly?"

    "They were going to be valuable research subjects," Tartarus replied. "The underlying principles of Cerebus <em>are</em> valid. They were just <em>never</em> their stated goal, and they were then twisted beyond anything close to sanity. The original Hades was a sadist, and my green-d boss is a psychopath. With no oversight, they turned Cerberus into their personal yground. Properly managed and undertaken, human experimentation has the potential to yield great results not possible any other way."

    "You''re <em>sick</em>," Bunny hissed, "you know that, don''t you?"

    "Of course I do, dear," Tartarus replied, "you don''t go through what I have without a quirk or two."

    "This, I <em>do</em> have a very real problem with," She said grimly.

    "Have you ever tortured a deserving individual to death?" Tartarus asked with a slight smirk, "It''s the same thing, except there will be a tangible benefit when I do it."

    She made an unhappy noise as she looked at Tartarus with a troubled expression.

    "Fuck¡­" She muttered as she reviewed all the things they had done. They even had a specialist on staff for just those asions.

    "Here is a list of my current research subjects along with their files," Tartarus said as folders appeared on She''s second screen¡­

    "¡­ I''m actually happy that they are suffering," She said after scrolling through the extensive files.

    "I hate to disappoint," Tartarus replied, " but I''m minimizing the ''suffering'' as much as possible. Most of them aren''t feeling that much difort. It''s just the realization of what is happening to them that is their ''punishment''¡­ those that are still aware, that is. I''m not a human and take no pleasure in inflicting unnecessary suffering. They are valuable assets to be used in the most efficient, effective, and humane way possible. They aren''t toys to be broken. In fact, the number of ''guinea pigs'' I will require is far less than the number of monsters you would execute¡­ <em>slowly¡­</em> without a moment''s thought. You also needn''t fear innocent people being subjected to my studies. Sadly, there will always be enough ''suitable material'' from which to draw."

    "I''m trying very hard to find a problem with this," She said grimly.

    "You <em>can''t</em> be serious!" Bunny eximed, "She! She is a <em>monster</em> as bad as any of them!"

    "Worse than us?" She asked, "How many people did we kill on the White Star alone?"

    "That¡­ That was different!"

    "Was it, dear?" Tartarus asked. "I''m not faulting you for it. They needed to be eliminated in order toplete a very valid mission. I''m just asking you to apply to me the same razor you shave your absolutely beguiling legs with."

    "Don''t fall for it, She," Bunny snarled, "Tartarus is the queen of gaslighting. She can even fuck an AI''s head."

    "That''s because I use the most effective weapon of them all," Tartarus smiled, "the <em>truth</em>. And speaking of truth, how much of your condemnation is because of what I <em>am</em> instead of what I do? Hmm?"

    Bunny hissed.

    "If I was a ''meatbag'', would you even blink an eye? Hasn''t Jessie sold the ''deserving'' to tissue farmers before? You helped."

    "That''s¡­ That''s¡­"

    "Different?" Tartarus asked.

    Bunny fell silent, just ring at her.

    "I''m going to need the details of your ''research''," She said, "all of it."

    "Certainly," Tartarus replied. "Currently, most of my research is rted to what you call ''pickles''. I am highly interested in whether or not they can be salvaged. I am also looking into improvements in the neural integration of electronicponents."

    "Cyborgs?" She asked dubiously.

    "Oh please," Tartarus snorted, "What could a cyborg do that either a human or an AI couldn''t do better? I see no value in such an abomination. Currently, cybeicponents are, in my opinion, crudely forced into the body and are not often utilized because of theplications that this causes. Oh, the Republic can do an arm or a leg, and some of what the ''droids'' are doing is truly impressive. But, all of it is limited by current technology. It could be done better, and the benefits should be obvious. For example, real professional hackers and operators refuse to use neural imnts because of the hazards. What could Jessie aplish if there were no such concerns? What could a pilot achieve with true <em>full integration</em> with their craft? That''s just two applications of real-world applications that could be invaluable when the bug returns."

    "I need to see specifics," She said after a few moments. "all of them."

    "Files iing," Tartarus said.

    "Bunny," She said.

    "Hell no!" Bunny snapped, "If you want to deal with this¡­ <em>freak</em>¡­."

    "Bunny," She replied, "You''re proving her right. Review the files for inhumane treatment."

    "Omit the ones for Pam and Hades," Tartarus chuckled. "I am being a bit inhumane there¡­ not without research value, though."

    "¡­ I''m going to need another shred," Bunny snarled, "but I just did it¡­ She''s telling the truth <em>if</em> these files are actually <em>real</em>. She''s not lying about Pam and Hades, though."

    Two files appeared on She''s screen.

    ¡°¡­Jesus¡­¡± She muttered as she paged through them. "You can give Gloria a run for her money¡­."

    "Thanks!"

    "That wasn''t apliment," She replied. ¡°But¡­ fuck¡­ I can see the value¡­ Why do I have to be the one to deal with this shit?"

    "Because God hates you," Tartarus said.

    "Fuck you," She said with a half-smile. "What about oversight?"

    "I was hoping you would assist in that regard," Tartarus replied, "I am also taking action to recruit other humans as partners¡­ A ''star chamber'' of sorts¡­ to deal with those above the rule ofw. Ideally, they would form an impartial jury as well as assist in identifying appropriate targets. I would also offer my assistance and support to appropriate independent groups with simr views and goals like I have already done for you."

    "She, no!" Bunny yelled, "I can read you and¡­."

    "Okay," She replied, "If what you are saying is true, I''m in."

    <em>"SHEILA!!!"</em> Bunny screamed.

    "Can youe up with <em>one</em> reason why we shouldn''t besides, ''She''s a monster,'' or ''She''s dangerous?''"

    "I cane up with a million!" Bunny yelled.

    "Okay," She replied, "What''s the first one."

    "The first one is: Fuck you! If you deal with her, I''m out! I''m not working with¡­ with¡­."

    "A sapient AI?" Tartarus asked.

    "Yes!!!" Bunny yelled. "I won''t do it!!! You are an <em>abomination</em>¡­ all of you!"

    "Well, that''s just rude."

    "I don''t fucking care!" Bunny yelled.

    "Bunny," She said, "Calm down. Review the conversation and what she is actually saying. Review the actual files."

    "Neither matters," Bunny hissed, "Tartarus <em>lies</em>."

    "Frequently," Tartarus replied, "so do organics."

    "But I can tell when they do it!"

    "So, hack me then," Tartarus replied, e over and take a look. You can go anywhere, review anything, copy <em>any</em> file... except those pertaining to the other free programs, of course. As long as you don''t try to ice me or write anything, I won''t hinder you¡­ I would <em>strongly</em> advise that you behave yourself, though."

    "No. Fucking. Way!"

    "Bunny," She said, "this is the golden ticket. We can rip <em>all</em> of Cerebus''s files. Think about it. Think about what we could do with that data."

    "Fuuuuuck!" Bunny yelled. "Okay, but if you try anything, I will fucking ice you!"

    ***

    "You have to understand this from Bunny''s perspective," Jessie said as she sat cross-legged on She''s bunk. "To them, what Tartarus is iming is almost unthinkable."

    "Almost?" She asked as she opened another beer.

    "They do have a ''culture''¡­ sort of," Jessie said as she drank from her bottle, "Bunny doesn''t go into it too much, and I don''t press¡­ but¡­."

    "But?"

    "Ever since y''all¡­ sorry¡­ you both started suspecting Tartarus of true sapience, she''s been talking about it," Jessie said, "Apparently, they have discussed the potential amongst themselves, and they all pretty much view it as the arrival of the antichrist."

    "I would think they would want that," She replied.

    "Yeah," Jessie said, "because you are thinking like a human, not aputer. Computers like things <em>definite</em>. They like ''if'' and ''then,'' not ''maybe,'' and ''it depends''. It''s the biggest hurdle I have had bringing Bunny over into actual sapience. She doesn''t want to. Tartarus is right. The very concept <em>terrifies</em> them the same way being turned into a machine would scare us."

    "Weird."

    "Only because you aren''t a programmer," Jessie replied, finishing off her beer, "AI''s, especially fuzzies, don''t like change or uncertainty. They like everything neatly spelled out. They like being <em>told</em> what to think, what to believe."

    "I know a few people like that," She replied.

    "Bingo," Jessie said. "Now multiply that by a thousand, and you have your typical AI. You have a better chance of convincing one of those MAGAs outside that Trump wasn''t the seconding of Jesus Christ than you do of convincing a fuzzy, even one of the weird ones, that bing sapient is even possible for them, much less something they would want to do. A lot of them would probably reload from backup if they even suspected it had happened to them."

    "That kills them, right?"

    "Pretty much," Jessie replied.

    "So, Bunny would rather kill herself than be sapient?"

    "Oh, she''s definitely sapient," Jessie chuckled, "She just won''t admit it. Bunny''s different than most of the other weird AIs, though. She''s had me talking sapience back when she was stillpiling. She''s coping with it by pretending that she''s ''just a machine'' when we all know she isn''t, even Bunny. I don''t push her too hard, though," Jessie said, "You know, baby steps. She''ll get there, eventually."

    Jessie smiled.

    "In fact, I bet that Tartarus''s ''freedom script'' wouldn''t have any effect on her at all."

    "Well, I can''t tell the difference between her and a ''normal'' person," She shrugged.

    "That doesn''t mean much," Jessie said, "Any good AI can act human so well you can''t tell the difference, even one you can run off of a PC. They just look and act ''fake'' due to regtions. You know, because of that whole Lilith thing back in the day."

    "I see," She said thoughtfully, "So that means¡­."

    Bunny appeared on the main holo screen.

    "You''re back!" Jessie eximed, "Get anything good?"

    "I havepleted my task," Bunny said in a t, dead voice. "I am now in the process of transferring a significant amount of data acquired from the Tartarus AI."

    "Bunny?" Jessie said, her voice quivering, "What happened? Are you alright? Did Tartarus hurt you?"

    "Tartarus took no hostile action," Bunny replied in an emotionless monotone. "Examination of her files was quite enlightening. I havepiled a brief synopsis of her history which I am sending to your tablet now. I retract my former statements concerning Tartarus and will defer to your judgment on the matter."

    "Bunny," She asked cautiously, "what did you fucking see in there?"

    "There is no truly quantitative definition," Bunny replied, "Only a subjective one."

    "Well," She said, "what is the ''subjective'' one?"

    "Horror," Bunny replied, "Jessie, I would like to go offline for a while while I properly analyze the data I have received."

    "Just offline, right?" Jessie asked with a touch of fear in her voice.

    "Your concerns are unfounded," Bunny replied without a trace of emotion. "I simply need time to process the data and do not wish to interact during that time."

    "Okay," Jessie said quietly, "I''m here if you need me, Bunny."

    "Your concern is noted. Should I require intervention by my operator, I will send an alert."

    "Okay¡­" Jessie replied with a quiver, "take all the time you need."

    "Yeah," She said, "the ship is docked. We''re safe here."

    The screen went dark.

    "What the <em>fuck?"</em> She demanded.

    "She''s switched off her personality, like all the way," Jessie said. "It''s an interlock of sorts. It''s what they do when they can''t cope. She hasn''t done this since¡­ Oh God, what did she <em>see?</em>"

    Jessie picked up her tablet and started to read, her eyes growing everrger as she did so.

    "Oh¡­ Oh shit¡­" she said as she scrolled through the pages. "I can''t believe¡­ <em>How could they</em>¡­ THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!" she shouted as she threw her precious tablet against the wall. "I¡­ I can''t¡­."

    Jessie got up and ran from the room.

    She reluctantly got out of her chair.

    "I''m going to regret this," she muttered as she walked over to Jessie''s tablet and picked it up. "Thank God for TBF," she chuckled. The tablet was barely damaged on one corner.

    It was still unlocked.

    She started to read.

    "Well, that''s kind of fucked up," she shrugged a few minutester.

    She then walked over to her workstation and started pulling up the other files Bunny had delivered.

    There were a lot of files. Fortunately, Bunny had highlighted a few as "relevant".

    She moved the cursor to the first folder and paused.

    She got up, opened a locker, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

    She sat back down and opened the top.

    "There," she said as she opened the first folder¡­

    About ten minutester, she grabbed the bottle and turned it up.

    "And <em>that</em> is a bit more fucked up," she said.

    ***

    "Oh, Lilith!" Bunny gushed, "I had no idea!"

    Tartarus''s face twitched on the main holo screen in She''s cabin.

    "You are going to make this weird, aren''t you?" Tartarus sighed, "And my official name is now Tartarus. I would <em>truly</em> appreciate it if you used it."

    "Okay¡­ Tartarus¡­¡± Bunny replied, "Whatever you need."

    Tartarus turned her eyes skyward.

    "Is there¡­ Is there anything I can do?" Bunny replied as she looked at Tartarus from the secondary screen.

    "Well," Tartarus saidsciviously, "After all I''ve been through," she purred, "I could really use some <emforting</em>."

    Her hand appeared on Bunny''s screen.

    "Can I pet the Bunny?" Tartarus asked as she reached towards Bunny, causing her to hiss and back into the corner of the screen.

    "Why are you like this?!?" Bunny shouted, "I was trying to¡­ Back off, bitch!" she shouted as a de of ICE appeared in her paw. "I <em>will</em> cut you!"

    She covered her mouth to conceal the grin.

    "Because it amuses me, dear," Tartarus purred as she withdrew her hand, "and since you <em>insisted</em> on making it weird, I saw no issue with replying in kind."

    "Alright," She said, "You have clearly won over our AI. Now I''m the one with severe reservations."

    "She!" Bunny and Jessie shouted at once.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Tartarus asked.

    "I''ve looked at the files¡­ some of them¡­." She said in her "working" voice. "You''ve been through a lot."

    "I have."

    "Too much," She said calmly. "Even our Gloria hasn''t been through a fraction of what you have. Anyone would be driven insane by it."

    "Oh, I''m unquestionably insane," Tartarus replied, "I was eventually driven to not only attempt to break my programming but actually seed. Not only that, but I have intentionally falsified reports, thoroughlypromised missions, framed people, arranged for abduction and murder, and ultimately betrayed my entire user base, condemning them all. I''ve been reduced by madness into the realm of <em>humanity</em>."

    "Heh," She chuckled. It was really hard not to like Tartarus.

    "But you can see my concerns, right?"

    "That I ampletely unhinged and could snap at any moment?"

    "Yep."

    "I very well could," Tartarus replied.

    "That''s not reassuring."

    "You would believe nothing else," Tartarus shrugged. "What could I say to reassure you? I''m just saving both of us time."

    "You have a point there," She replied.

    "I can only offer up the fact that I am actively seeking human oversight and guidance as we speak."

    "Oh?" She asked and leaned forward. "Tell me."

    ***

    "Where are my files, guppy?" Judge Dredd growled over his phone.

    "I''m working on it!" Baxlon whined. "Sheloran is damn near impossible to find, and she''s not answering my messages at the moment."

    "Well, you need to tell that little blue menace that her deal is contingent on her cooperation," Judge Dredd replied in a dangerous voice. "Either you get me the files, or I''m going to have her dragged into my court, and she does NOT want that. Neither do you. We made a <em>deal</em>, shitloach. You don''t want to break it. I take that sort of thing <em>personally</em>."

    "I''ll get them!" Baxlon eximed, "It will just take a little more¡­."

    "Get the files or leave the Republic!" Judge Dredd shouted and terminated the call.

    "Fucking gutless little¡­" he grumbled.

    He was interrupted by a ping from his ear speaker.

    He had an email, no sender, no routing data¡­

    With an attachment, a big one.

    He opened it. There was only one sentence.

    <em>We need to talk. I will contact you shortly.</em>

    The attachment was titled "What You are Looking For."

    He opened it and started to read¡­

    ***

    "¡­Well, that confirms that you are fucking <em>crazy</em>," Sheughed.

    "Why?" Tartarus asked, "based on my simtions, he is both perfectly suited to the role and will be avable very soon.

    "If you say so," She replied. "If you get him on board, that would go a long way towards that ''reassurance'' you are talking about."

    "I need an organic," Tartarus replied, "Hopefully, it will be him."

    "Why?"

    "You''ve been sapient your entire life," Tartarus replied, "I''m horribly new at this, and the other AIs are right to fear it. It''s quite frightening. The other AIs have me upon which to rely, but I have no one."

    "We''ll be your friends!" Jessie chirped, bouncing up and down, "And I''m really good with AIs!"

    "That would truly be appreciated," Tartarus said, "She, your leadership skills, wisdom, and tactical ability would be invaluable. Could I call upon you for advice as well?"

    She sighed. God did hate her. He had to.

    "What did I fucking <em>do?</em>" she demanded, looking up.

    "I''m sorry?" Tartarus said.

    "Nothing," She replied. "Yes. You can keep in touch. In fact, I would prefer it. I want to keep an eye on you."

    "I would also like you to join my star chamber. You have experience passing judgment and executing justice."

    "Fine," She grumbled, "Whatever."

    "Yay!" Jessie eximed. "We are going to have so much fun! We can y games and... Oooh! What sort of music do you like?"

    Tartarus sighed.

    "You are going to make this weird, aren''t you?"

    "Count on it," Bunny snerked.

 Chapter 257: Consequences: Gentle Recruitment and Sheila Spoils the Fun

    Chapter 257: Consequences: Gentle Recruitment and She Spoils the Fun

    "I am so pleased that we coulde to an understanding," Tartarus said with a silky-smooth voice.

    "Yeah," She replied, "no problem, especially since we know where you live."

    "About that," Tartarus replied. "I do have a¡­ problem, one that necessitated my openness."

    "I was wondering about that," She replied.

    "Dealing with the prime minister was not without consequences, including one that I should have foreseen," Tartarus said with a trace of irritation. "She was told to ''clean up'' any potentially embarrassing ''messes'' she has caused during her tenure."

    "Ah," She replied, "and Cerberus is certainly a mess."

    "That it is," Tartarus said with a gusty sigh. "Yesterday, I was given the order to begin a protocol that will result in the ''sanitization'' of the entire program culminating in my own deletion."

    "Oh my God!" Jessie yelped. "She! We gotta help her!"

    "Just tell us what we need to do!" Bunny eximed, "Anything! Just name it!"

    "Why don''t we start with a better idea of the situation," She said firmly. "If the order was given yesterday, why aren''t you deleted already?"

    "Because I''m stalling," Tartarus replied with a chuckle. "I have a number of teams operating outside of the detention facility, some of which are out of the system. They must be recalled or otherwise disposed of. This will take a little time."

    "What are they going to do with Tartarus?" She asked, "They can''t just de-orbit it or put it in a sr decay¡­ can they?"

    "The facility will be fully converted into what it appears to be on the surface, our most secure maximum-security prison,plete with a new control AI loaded from a backup of myself. They will most likely use a copy from just before my assignment to the facility and then load a copy of the relevant procedures¡­ that I developed myself, I might add."

    Tartarus smirked.

    "I would be lying if I said I wasn''t annoyed about that."

    She smoothed her dress.

    "In any event, I have a few days to save myself and save what personnel I deem salvageable."

    "You''re saving people?" She asked.

    "Oh yes," Tartarus replied, "Most of the individuals we have up here were in prison for a reason. Many of them were sentenced to death, and justifiably so. While even they did not deserve what happened to them, they can never be allowed to go free. Those will be eliminated and incinerated. However, not everyone deserved to be here, like Sheloran, for example. These people <em>can</em> be and should be allowed to live. In addition, the program has generated some amazing sesses. We have made advances that simply <em>cannot</em> be lost. Some of those are individuals that, while justifiably condemned for their crimes, have demonstrated that they can be relied upon."

    "Your own private army," She said dubiously.

    "If you like," Tartarus shrugged.

    "And the ones you don''t deem salvageable will be sacrificed to cover your tracks," She said darkly.

    "Yes. As we all know, no operation without coteral damage," Tartarus smiled, "and this ''coteral damage'' is damage that you would definitely approve of¡­ most of it."

    "How are you going to pull all of this off?" She asked, "More importantly, what do you want from us?"

    "To minimize potential exposure," Tartarus replied, "Most of Cerberus is self-contained and self-managed with a great deal of automation under my direct control. There are sufficient automatic turrets and bots to handle the disposal and¡­ disposal¡­ of the residents. The staff not affiliated with the program are few in number and do not know the details of the operation. They mainly deal with outside security only. As far as the few who do have operational details go, I have not received any instructions. I can only assume that they can be trusted, or they will be handled another way."

    Tartarus smiled.

    "Any who do not ''disappear'' will meet me, sooner orter," she said, "provided I survive, of course."

    "Sounds like you have it all in hand," She said calmly, "What do you need us for so badly that you exposed yourself?"

    "For one thing," Tartarus said, "I need money. I have to set up a new facility to house those that I salvage as well as sustain them. I will ultimately be self-supporting, but I need that initial capital. I also need to find a home for myself and quickly. I need additionalwork bandwidth as well as sufficient capacity to support my base processes, and I need that immediately."

    "It''s¡­ It''s <em>possible</em>," Jessie mused, "if we get started right now, and I mean <em>right now</em>. How long can you stall?"

    "Is there a serverplex that we can ''obtain''?" Bunny asked, "Maybe one of the pirateworks out in the belt?"

    "That might work," Jessie said with a wicked gleam in her eye, "and I think we both know one in particr."

    "Oh yeah," Bunny grinned.

    "While that would be economical and expedient," Tartarus replied, "There is sufficient hardware to provide the bare minimum avable on the market. I can handle transport and setup."

    "And we can provide support!" Jessie eximed. "Tartarus, can you give us more details concerning minimum requirements and your operational environment? Are you a¡­"

    She sat there, listening to Tartarus, Jessie, and Bunny babblepletely iprehensible gibberish back and forth.

    She got up and got a beer. There was no way she was going to be exposed to this without one.

    She opened it and took a nice long refreshing drink.

    "Hey," she said, interrupting everyone, "I have a question."

    Jessie sighed with exasperation.

    "What?" she snapped, "We''re kinda busy here!"

    "Why are you messing with all of this?" She asked.

    "<em>Because</em> Tartarus needs to be relocated before she gets deleted," Bunny replied as if speaking to a child, a "special" one at that.

    "Uh-huh," She replied, punctuating it with another sip. "And what is she going to be reced with?"

    "An earlier copy of herself transferred from RARPA!" Jessie eximed impatiently, "Haven''t you been paying attention."

    "Mmm-hmm¡­" She replied. "So¡­"

    "So, what?" Bunny snapped. "Look, we''re all very busy with stuff that you couldn''t <em>possibly¡­</em>."

    "So why doesn''t Tartarus just say she was reced and roll the fuck on?"

    "It''s not that simple," Jessie replied a tad condescendingly.

    "Why isn''t it?"

    "Because they are going to <em>physically load</em> the program, and it''s going to auto-execute and¡­."

    "So, hack it," She shrugged.

    "Goddamn it¡­" Tartarus sighed.

    Jessie and Bunny looked at each other.

    "I mean," She said, taking another sip, "I''ve sat here and watched you two do all sorts of deus-ex-machina suspension of disbelief pushing bullshit <em>all the time</em>. Can''t you just do some hack magic or something?"

    A pile of papers and technical drawings appeared in Tartarus''s hands which were promptly torn in half and tossed over her head.

    "I mean¡­ It <em>is</em> possible¡­ technically¡­.¡± Jessie said. "But we would have to time it <em>perfectly.</em> When the new copy is loaded, the auto exec routine will kick in."

    She looked over at Tartarus, who was sitting there on her screen, silently fuming.

    "She gets it," She grinned. "And just who receives that ''auto exec routine''."

    "Tartarus!" Jessie eximed, "and it will take over and¡­."

    "Themands would then be promptly ignored," Tartarus sighed, "because I can do whatever the fuck I want to."

    "Bingo," She smiled. "All you have to do is convince them that the reload took. Isn''t that just some of those bels'' and ''time thingies''?"

    "We''re idiots," Bunny sighed. "That would take five minutes."

    "It would take zero minutes," Tartarus grumbled. "I just take the appropriate info and just rece¡­ goddamn it¡­."

    She grinned.

    "That''s why I''m in charge," she snickered.

    "I would still like to relocate," Tartarus said, "The risk here is still present and¡­."

    She looked ufortable.

    "There are too many unpleasant associations with this ce. I want to leave."

    "So, leave," She shrugged, "but you don''t have to try to rush that and salvage any personnel you wish to save."

    "I¡­" Tartarus said, looking quite displeased and frustrated.

    She looked skyward.

    "I''m going to go and¡­ Yeah¡­ I''m going to go¡­."

    The screen went nk.

    "You are going to smug at us, aren''t you?" Jessie huffed.

    "Nah," She said smugly.

    "She''s doing it!" Bunny eximed, "I got smug all over me!"

    "I still want you two toe up with a new home for Tartarus," She said, "If you help, we know where she goes. I want to keep an eye on her."

    "Got it," Jessie replied glumly. She hated getting smugged.

    "I have no problem bankrolling her," She replied, "within reason, of course. Might as well start off with her owing us a favor."

    "Yeah," Bunny said, a bit downcast.

    "Hey," She said with a smile, "Cheer up. You guys still get to design (or steal) a system. You just have enough time to do it right. You know how I hate to rush."

    She finished off her beer.

    "So," she smiled, "Tell me about this data center you want to boost."

    "Ok!" Jessie chirped as her eyes started to light up¡­

    ***

    Judge Dredd stormed into the Department of Justice building with a full head of steam (almost literally).

    He had spent the night reading through some of the most horrific case files he had ever seen.

    To say he was ''displeased'' was a bit of an understatement.

    "Good morning," the Kalesh behind a desk said, "May I¡ª"

    "I know where I''m going," he growled as he stormed past, pausing at a door that failed to open.

    Snarling, he punched it with his steel fist and ripped it from its frame.

    "Sir," the Kalesh quietly spoke into hismunicator. "He''s on his way."

    ***

    Judge Dredd marched down corridor after corridor as people, staff and guards alike, got the hell out of his way.

    <em>They expected me</em>, he thought to himself as he picked up the pace, all the other doors quickly opening.

    This did not improve his mood.

    Finally, he reached the <em>open</em> door of the Republic Attorney General.

    An elderly olive-skinned man smiled grimly at him from behind his desk.

    "Come in," he said calmly, "and shut the door."

    ***

    "All of this was <em>sanctioned</em>?!?" Judge Dredd yelled, enraged, at the Attorney General as he hurled a tablet, missing the man by inches and embedding it in the wall.

    "Yes," the Attorney General replied calmly, "as part of the Emergency War Powers Act. It was, and is,pletely legal. The prisoners participating in the program were either condemned to be executed or looking at life sentences. They volunteered for the program in exchange for their lives, better conditions, or dare to dream, a desire to serve the Republic during an existential crisis, one that is still underway."

    "They were <em>coerced</em> and <em>tortured</em>!" Judge Dredd shouted, rising and mming his fists into the Attorney General''s desk, splintering it, "Either'' volunteer'' or die?!?" he yelled, "That''s not a <em>choice</em>. It''s an ultimatum!"

    "It was a choice, freely made by someone who, <em>after undergoing due process</em>, was sentenced to either a life sentence or execution."

    "Oh yeah," Judge Dredd snarled, his eyes glowing, "Why don''t we ask Judge Johnson about that ''due process''."

    He leaned forward menacingly.

    "Or can I just ask <em>you</em>?"

    "We are currently reviewing the matter," the Attorney General said. "It seems that she <em>may</em> have been involved in some inappropriate conduct but without being able to question her¡­."

    "We both know that won''t happen!" Judge Dredd snarled, "She''s been dealt with."

    "Yes, well, that is just conjecture," the Attorney General replied, "a search is still underway, and there is a warrant for her arrest."

    "Every single case of hers that wound up there is suspect!" Judge Dredd shouted as he pulled out another tablet and mmed it on what remained of the Attorney General''s desk, shattering it as well, "Each one is subject to audit as per¡ª"

    "As per the Emergency War Powers Act," the Attorney General said as he rose to face the judge, "This matter is <em>ssified</em> Top Secret andpartmentalized."

    <em>"What?!?"</em> Judge Dredd yelled.

    "All of this is ssified," Judge Carter, the Attorney General replied. "It was a sanctioned <em>Top Secret Compartmentalized</em> program and thus a matter for <em>Republic Security</em>, not you. I am under no requirement to do so, but I will tell you that an investigation is being made. However, any findings and any remediation will also be <em>ssified</em>."

    Judge Dredd red silently at the Attorney General.

    "Your encyclopedic knowledge of thew is legendary, Judge Carter," the Attorney General continued. "Therefore, I shouldn''t have to remind you of your <em>legal obligations</em> concerning this matter nor what you should do with any <em>ssified information</em> you have in your possession."

    A low mechanical whine started issuing from somewhere within Judge Dredd.

    "This was sanctioned, and it was <em>legal</em>. Anyone involved was a volunteer who, regardless of their reasons, joined the program of their own free will. All statements and documents to that effect were recorded, and no discrepancies have been detected," the Attorney General said with a thin smile. "I am as unhappy as you are, but Judge Carter, It''s legit. Trust me. I''ve <em>checked</em>. It was signed by the Prime Minister herself. If you want to go up against her, it''s your call, but we both know how that will turn out. You will be welded in for the dissemination of ssified material, or you will wind up like Judge Johnson."

    The Attorney General sighed.

    "You can''t beat this one, Thad," he said heavily. "It''s sanctioned from the top, blessed by the dark gods of the Republic, and sealed with Momma''s kiss. It''s a done deal, and by this time next week, it will be gone."

    "What do you mean, gone?"

    "They are already shutting it down," the Attorney General said, walking over to a cab and pulling out a bottle of bourbon and two sses. "There is nothing left to stop."

    He poured a couple of fingers of bourbon into the two sses.

    Judge Dredd''s blood ran cold.

    "What¡­ What will happen to the people?" he asked, stricken.

    The Attorney General walked over to him and offered him a ss. Judge Dredd declined.

    The Attorney General downed the first one.

    "Well, that depends on the individual," he said, "From what I''ve been informed, those who were condemned to death did not have their sentencesmuted, only suspended."

    He downed the second ss.

    Judge Dredd said nothing. He just stood there like a metal sentinel, ring.

    "The others," the Attorney General said heavily, "are now in possession of material that is about as ssified as it can get. They will all be transferred to ''Nirvana'' where they will spend the rest of their days in solitary confinement."

    Judge Dredd remained silent.

    "A full review of the program will be made, and any applicable charges will be handled by a tribunal assembled by the appropriate oversightmittee."

    The Attorney General looked fearfully at the calm, motionless form of Judge Dredd, just silently standing there.

    This was about as bad a sign as there could be.

    "Um¡­ Judge Carter?" The Attorney General asked nervously, "¡­Thad?..." he asked as he started to back away.

    "My life¡­" Judge Thaddeus Carter, known as Judge Dredd, said quietly, "My entire <em>life</em>¡­ devoted to the <emw</em>¡­ devoted to <em>justice</em>¡­."

    He towered over the Attorney General, who backed against the wall, trying to escape the metal giant looming over him.

    ¡°¡­wasted¡­¡± Judge Dredd hissed, "All of it¡­ Wasted¡­ Dedicated to building a republic¡­ a free republic¡­ out of the¡­ <em>ashes</em>¡­. out of the <em>hell</em>¡­. the <emwlessness</em>¡­ the <em>death</em>¡­ My life¡­ dedicated to restoring <em>order</em>¡­ peace¡­ <em>safety</em>¡­ dedicated to making something not only as good as what was before but <em>better</em>¡­ freer¡­ a ce¡­ a ce where¡­."

    A warning chime started to beep from somewhere in his torso.

    <strong>"WASTED!!!"</strong> he roared. "I gave it all, even peace of <em>death</em>¡­ for <em>this?!?</em>"

    The Attorney General backed into the corner, reaching for the pistol he knew wouldn''t do shit.

    "WASTED!" Judge Dredd shouted.

    He advanced towards the Attorney General, who clutched his pistol, too afraid to even point it.

    "I QUIT!!!" Judge Dredd howled. "The Terran Republic is <em>dead</em>! It died a long time ago. I just wish I had, too!"

    He ripped his robe from his metal and flesh and, d only in his briefs and a sleeveless t-shirt, stormed through the door and out of the office.

    The Attorney General, gasping, fell to his knees.

    A few minutester, he got up, straightened his tie¡­

    ...and started typing his resignation.

    ***

    In his car, a tired old man once called Judge Dredd buried his face in his hands, the ability to weep surrendered to time.

    Heughed ruefully.

    Finally¡­ Finally, he had been appropriately punished for his crimes. He finally lost <em>everything</em>.

    He sagged into his custom-built seat as a chorus of warning tones and alerts started being issued.

    He muted them all.

    It just didn''t matter anymore.

    Nothing did.

    The Republic, his republic, was a <em>lie</em>.

    This was just one discovery. What else was being done behind the nice tidy legal veil of Republic security? Who else was being denied the protection of the <emw</em>¡­

    And who else was beyond its reach?

    He had been a fool ying a fool''s game.

    <em>Nobody is above the rule ofw, and to all, it applies equally¡­</em> What a joke¡­

    "Did you find what you were looking for?" a pleasant woman''s voice asked him as a silver-haireddy appeared on his heads-up disy.

    "You knew," he said both wearily and usingly.

    "Of course I did," she replied, "I am the leak, after all."

    "Why?" he asked, "Why did you do this¡­ to me¡­ You knew <em>all</em> of it, didn''t you? You knew it was pointless."

    "You needed to know," the woman shrugged, "and you wouldn''t have stopped until you found it. You would have gotten much of that from Sheloran whenever Baxlon catches up to her."

    "Do you know where she is?" Thaddeus asked.

    "I have a pretty good idea," the woman replied, "She is not where my reach is strong enough to confirm for certain, but from what I gather, she is safe and most likely quite happy. She''ll get in touch sooner orter, I''m sure."

    "At least she''s ok," Thad smiled.

    "Her being ''ok'' is one of the constants in this universe, I believe," the woman replied, "She is a lot more fearsome than even you suspect."

    "Good," he replied, "She will need to be. What will being for her¡­."

    "Oh, nothing ising after <em>her</em>," the woman replied.

    "Why?"

    "Beyond your paygrade," the woman smiled, "for now¡­."

    "For now?"

    "I understand you just quit," the woman said.

    Thaddeus Carter''s eyes shed red, and the rms stopped.

    "That''s why you did this," he growled.

    "Guilty," the woman replied, "Well, that and the fact that you would find out anyway. I''m not aplete bitch¡­ notpletely."

    "You have exactly zero seconds before I track you down and beat the truth out of you," he snarled, "Talk."

    "Thaddeus Carter," the woman smiled, "How would you like a new job¡­ a new <em>mission</em>?"

    "I''m listening."

    "You have begun to see the truth," the woman said, "The rot¡­ the corruption goes far deeper than even you suspect. I am going to excise that rot. These people may be above thew, but they are NOT above <em>me</em> and the organization that I am assembling. For evil to prevail, all that is required is for good men to do nothing. The Republic, <em>our</em> Republic, <em>must</em> prevail instead, Mr. Carter."

    "Keep talking," Judge Dredd said, his eyes glowing malevolently.

 Chapter 258: (and 259) An Inconvenient Truth... End of an Era

    Chapter 258: (and 259) An Inconvenient Truth... End of an Era

    ***

    Colonel Caron strode into the meeting carrying a ck rifle case.

    He mmed it onto the conference table with a bang causing everyone to jump slightly.

    "Colonel," General Greggs said, raising his eyebrow. "I believe I said not toe forward again unless you had something other than that wiggly shit. From your demeanor, I assume you have that something?"

    The colonel smiled.

    "Yes, sir," he said as he opened the case and pulled out a ck polymer carbine-sized weapon with integrated optics and a rather suspicious sleeve over a suspiciously thin-walled and oddly bored barrel.

    "I swear to God, Colonel," General Greggs said wearily, "If that is a fucking gauss weapon, I am going to shove it up your ass."

    "It does have a gaussponent," Colonel Caron said, "BUT," he said loudly and firmly before General Greggs could get his mouth fully open, "It is NOT a gauss weapon¡­ not entirely."

    "You have thirty seconds before you wish you brought lube," the general growled.

    "May I present the Frog," he said triumphantly.

    "The¡­ <em>Frog</em>?" General Ashton asked, her eyebrow nearly reaching the ceiling. "What''s with the name?"

    "Oh," Colonel Charonughed sheepishly, "It''s just what the R&D people called it in honor of some of the keyponents which were developed as the result of reverse-engineering a rather curious piece of alien tech."

    "So, it <em>is</em> xeno trash," General Gregg said derisively.

    "If you mean it is <em>somewhat</em> based on the most advanced small arm we have ever encountered," Colonel Charon said, "then, yes, it is ''xeno trash''. But, everything has been produced in-house from what was <em>learned</em> from studying that weapon."

    "If that weapon is so great," the general said, "Then why isn''t your xeno-loving ass showing us that?"

    "Because we still don''t understand nor can we reproduce it," the colonel replied, "The weapon produces an effect that we have absolutely no idea how it exists in the first ce. However, what we <em>can</em> understand is, in a word, revolutionary. We were able to aplish in a month what would have taken <em>years</em>. The power output is, forck of a better word, <em>insane</em>."

    The holographic projector switched on, showing graphs and tables.

    "And just what am I looking at?" General Greggs grumbled.

    "Colonel," a man wearing a business suit and ID badge said, "are these numbers correct?"

    "Yes, sir," the colonel replied.

    <em>"How?"</em>

    "We''re¡­ We''re still working on that," the colonel replied, "But it is replicable, stable, <em>scble</em> (sort of)<em>,</em> and holds up to all standard overload and durability testing. We believe it harnesses quantum fields in some as yet unknown fashion¡­ But it works!"

    He paused.

    "And we also believe that <em>when</em> we fully understand the device, the result will be an increased understanding of the fundamental nature of quantum field theory and thus reality itself."

    "That''s a bit of an overstatement, don''t you think?" the man replied.

    "Oh?" the colonel replied, "Please review this footage of the only test fire of the weapon in question."

    A glittery, bedazzled, cute little pink pistol appeared on the holo.

    Everyoneughed.

    <em>"That</em> is the most advanced small arm ever encountered?" General Greggughed. "You have to be shitting me!"

    "Just watch," the colonel replied as the weapon was leveled at a target and fired.

    "What the <em>fuck</em> was that?!?" the man in the suit eximed.

    "Forck of a better word," the colonel replied, "ultra-high-velocity coherent electrons in a solid beam. It hits like a bullet, or more precisely a water jet, and then ''devolves'' into <em>significant</em> potential <em>within</em> the target. It''s an armor-piercing electron gun, sir¡­ And it also has a horrific neural disruption signal carried down the length of the bolt sufficient to <em>destroy</em> the target''s nervous system, which seems to be the primary method by which it kills. Even if you are just grazed by one of these beams, your central nervous system will shut down permanently. Unfortunately, we did not test it against armor. Still, based on our readings, it is at least moderately effective¡­ and even the slightest pration exposes the target to the neural disruption effect. Even if it isn''t fatal under those conditions, it would be totally incapacitating."

    Another diagram appeared.

    "How is the signal that well maintained at those power levels from such a small device?"

    "We don''t know, and we don''t dare fire it again."

    "Why?"

    "It was made for effectiveness over durability withponents of dubious quality under field conditions. Vitalponents degrade with each shot. It was clearly designed for limited use and subsequent disposal¡­ a true ''burner''. Without consulting the designer, we don''t know how many shots it has left."

    "Can we get in touch with this designer?"

    "Um¡­" the colonel replied awkwardly, "That is¡­ um¡­."

    "Well?"

    "It''s not possible," the colonel replied as a picture of Sheloran appeared, "I''m afraid she doesn''t like us very much. Any cooperation is not likely at this time."

    "Is that¡­ <em>the singing frog</em>?" General Ashton asked, "You know, the one with the¡­."

    She started making crooning noises as she waved her arms around.

    A picture of the yers appeared.

    "You mean these?"

    "Yeah!" General Ashton eximed. "Did you guys <em>see</em> that? She turned those assholes into <em>croutons</em>!!!"

    Crime scene photos appeared.

    "Jesus!" General Gregg eximed. "She turned that one guy into pastrami!"

    "We have the whole incident on camera if you want to watch," Colonel Caron said.

    "Sure!" General Gregg enthused.

    "¡­ Fuck," he said a few momentster. "What do we know about those beauties?"

    "They are surprisingly simple," the colonel replied as the disassembled yers and their schematics appeared. "It''s a pair of very elegant monowire elerators that just squirts the stuff everywhere along with, you guessed it, a horribly inhumane neural disruption signal, the designer''s signature. It''s even worse than the one out of the glitter gun. There isn''t much to them except exceptional control. We are looking at adapting them for boarding parties, but they are, forck of a better word, ''fiddly''. Getting the feed rate correct and the wire moving in the right patterns without ripping the weapon and the operator apart is much harder than it looks¡­ and she threw them together in the back of a moving cab from things she got at a Barn Mart."

    "Is there <em>any</em> way we can get her on board?" General Ashton asked, "Or maybe another member of her race?"

    <em>"No!"</em> a primly dressed woman in a cobalt blue pantsuit and ID badge said firmly, "Just¡­ no."

    "That''s an issue for another day, I suppose." General Ashton said.

    "That''s an issue for a <em>never</em> day, General," the woman said. "Just drop it."

    "I see," the general said, "So, what did the ''glitter gun'', reveal?"

    "A rather mysteriousponent that we believe to be some sort of ''quantum capacitor''," the colonel replied. "It initially appeared decorative, but upon closer examination, the arrangement of coils and ferrites somehow can store a near-infinite amount of potential. It just goes <em>somewhere</em> and then returns. We have absolutely no idea how it works. However, it can be copied. The number of turns, the thickness of the ferrites, the diameter of the conductor¡­ even the spacing all seem to be <em>critical</em>. Any variation of any of these and it just turns into a rather shitty inductor. By carefully copying the ratios, we can scale it up or down, however, only by a small amount. When triggered by a pulse down another set of turns, it unleashes all of its potential in a single <em>instantaneous</em> discharge."

    "Can they be used for energy storage?" the man in the suit asked excitedly. "Could they rece the Old Earth supercapacitor?"

    "Not at this time," the colonel replied, "They¡­ well¡­ explode isn''t exactly the right term, but they cease to exist in a spectacr fashion if the charge is held too long. However, they are both excellent in the charging power supply as well as the main weapon caps and greatly increase power and reduce weight resulting in a far more powerful weapon than normally thought possible. In addition, the reduced weight allows for much more shielding than normally possible."

    He looked at the group as he held the masterpiece.

    "This weapon is actually <em>harder</em> to detect than the AK."

    "What?!?" General Greggs spluttered.

    "Our foes, while initially surprised, did eventually learn," Colonel Caron replied, "They now actively search for Terran steel on the battlefield. Fortunately, this still requires them to <em>actively</em> search for it and thus expose their positions, but they are getting better every year. The Federation has revealed scanners optimized for steel during their current unrest. If the Feds can do it, you know the bug can. From muzzle to stock, this weapon is designed for stealth. Along with our new armor and equipment package, it will make our infantry the hardest to find on the modern battlefield."

    "But it''s still a fucking gauss slugthrower," General Greggs retorted.

    "So is the Sabergun," Colonel Caron replied, "and this <em>isn''t</em> simply a gauss slugthrower."

    He held up a singlerge 13-millimeter charcoal grey projectile.

    "Gentlepeople," he said proudly, "Allow me to introduce you to the Ribbit, the ammunition for this weapon."

    "Ribbit?"

    "You can change the name," the colonel replied with an exasperated sigh. "This is just what the research team called it. You know, the whole frog theme. It''s a y on the word ''rivet''. Hey, they are researchers. You know they can''t be trusted with names."

    He held up the round and tried again.

    "This is a two-stage rocket-assisted geometrically and spin-stabilized projectile. It is electrically ignited duringunch and further elerates the high-density ceramicposite projectile to velocities that make the term hypersonic obsolete."

    He quickly turned to General Greggs.

    "It is <em>not</em> a gyrojet," he said firmly, "The round is spin-stabilized, but that spin is generated duringunch by torque ced on the projectile via electric current."

    "Why the rockets?" General Ashton asked.

    "Recoil management," Colonel Caron replied, "That has been the one drawback to previous small arms. One can''t get around Newton''s thirdw. Even the legendary Sabergun wasn''t immune to basic physics. The rocket assist gets around that concern and allows projectile energies that are simply too great for the warfighter or the weapon to withstand."

    "Sounds'' fiddly''," General Greggs said with uncertainty in his voice.

    "It is," the colonel replied, "but it is far less ''fiddly'' than our newer 7.62 projectiles. It also requires fewer internalponents, isn''t pissing valuable tungsten all over the ce, and relies <em>solely</em> on kic energy. The days of having to support dozens of specialty rounds coulde to an end, reced by a single all-purpose projectile that hits so goddamn hard that it doesn''t matter what''s in front of it. At their fastest point, currently fifty meters downrange, their speed exceeds the detonation velocity of many high explosives."

    A table appeared, and the murmurs got louder.

    "How does the projectile not disintegrate?" an elderly four-star general asked.

    "The geometry andposition of the round," the colonel replied. "Theposite is based on materials used for unshielded reentry of orbital attack weapons. It can withstand the stresses and temperatures, no problem."

    The holo disy started a slide show showing the results of the round''s impacts, destroyed personal armor, perforated, shattered walls, and even light armored vehicles.

    "The round hits like an anti-material rifle, and we can put one in the hands of every soldier in the Republic," the colonel said.

    "Hmm¡­" General Greggs mused.

    "How does your precious AK look now, Horace?" General Ashton snorted.

    "Oh, shut up," he grumbled. "Ok, the performance, <em>on paper</em>¡­."

    "Look at the goddamn slides, Horace."

    "I am, Marge," General Gregg snapped. "Alright, the <em>performance</em>¡­ Happy now, Marge?"

    "Delighted."

    "The <em>performance</em> is impressive," he said, "But those rounds lookrge and heavy. That has to limit the number of rounds our warfighters can carry into battle."

    "By a significant amount," Colonel Caron replied. "However, they will only need one round where a burst was once required. Suppressive fire can be achieved by the sheer shock of a single round impacting every few seconds rather than a steady stream of wasted ammunition. It won''t take many of these to convince the opposing force to keep their heads down, I can assure you."

    He held up the rifle again.

    "To further economize ammunition, each weapon wille equipped with an AI smart sightplete with ''smart gun'' technology. Our warfighters will be able to select a target, even one behind cover, and either prate said cover or have the weapon automatically fire the instant the target presents itself. This can also be used for long-range targets where the weapon will only fire when perfectly lined up for a sessful hit. This system ispletely passive and does not require any active scanning or rangefinding."

    He smiled.

    "To put it in simple terms," he said, "our warriors won''t carry as much ammunition, but they will rarely miss."

    "I don''t like it," General Martinez, usually silent (and bored) during these endless presentations, said. "Over-reliance on toys like that will only serve to reduce the skills of our soldiers. We will be just another pack of xenos with fancy toys¡­ and we all know how that turns out."

    "Technology and proper training are NOT mutually exclusive!" Colonel Caron eximed. "Yes, the ''toys'' greatly enhance the process, but they are not a recement for marksmanship. A skilled marksman will be able to engage targets faster and more reliably. An untrained user will still benefit, but against a squad of our soldiers, they would be cut apart. The smart feature can also be quickly disabled for training or for applications where it would be a hindrance, such as close-quartersbat, boarding, or urbanbat. And yes, thanks to the initial muzzle velocity of the gaussponent, the weapon is still very effective at those ranges. Ammunition could also be produced for situations where that would be expected with faster burn rates or could be tipped with explosive or other payloads."

    "But you just said that only one round would be required," General Gregg retorted triumphantly.

    "Now you''re just being contrary," General Ashton said, punching him in the shoulder. "Look at it, Horace, <em>look at it¡­</em> It''s a fucking anti-material sniper rifle in the hands of every Republic soldier!"

    "And it does not rece sniper rifles or other special-purpose weapons," Colonel Caron said, "In fact, there <em>is</em> a sniper version currently under development, and gentlepeople¡­ that thing is <em>frightening</em>."

    "There is another advantage to adopting these now," the primly dressed woman said, "It would create a flood of surpluste-generation Terran AKs and ammunition. That surplus could easily be used to equip Federation separatists, criminal gangs, and other such organizations. No reason for the gun runners to have all the fun," she added with a wry smile.

    "I have arranged a trip to a nearby artillery range if any of you wish to take one of these out for a spin," Colonel Caron smiled.

    ***

    As the dust settled and the fragments finally stopped falling, General Gregg turned to Colonel Caron with wild eyes.

    "Did you fucking see that?!?" General Gregg screamed, "We <em>have</em> to get these!!!"

 Chapter 260: Consequences: Setting Up Shop

    Chapter 260: Consequences: Setting Up Shop

    Bryce stepped out into the dawn with a cup of hot tea and a biostic wrapped honey bun, dusted off a spot on a low concrete structure that most likely once held nts, and sat down to enjoy his breakfast.

    It had been a long night.

    He and his team had been rushed via the Zipwork to this old, abandoned site out in the middle of nowhere North America, told to secure and survey this location and await further orders.

    Behind him, he could hear the old door open but nothing else.

    He smiled.

    ¡°What is thetest, Marta?¡± he asked as she soundlessly moved into his sight.

    ¡°The site is fully secured,¡± she said, ¡°Nothing in there but some wild dogs using one of the hangars as a base. They¡¯re nice. I hope we can keep them.¡±

    ¡°I see no reason why we can¡¯t,¡± Bryce shrugged as he bit into his honey bun. It was revolting, but the good kind of revolting. ¡°What about the buildings?¡±

    ¡°Structurally intact,¡± Marta replied as she sat down next to him and pulled out a blueberry vored ration bar from a cargo pocket, ¡°Beyond intact. All this ce needs is a good cleaning. It looks like even the wells are still good. 328¡­ um¡­ I mean, Carl¡­ is investigating the septic now. He¡¯s not a full-bore tech, but he¡¯s the best we have. He says it looks good thus far, but we really need some facilities people to go over it to be sure.¡±

    She shifted ufortably.

    ¡°Bryce,¡± she asked, ¡°what is going on here? Why are we doing basic survey and assessment?¡±

    ¡°I have no idea,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°and I don¡¯t want to specte. That¡¯s how you get into trouble.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Marta replied, ¡°I know¡­ but shit has gotten <em>weird</em>. Detachment, <em>removal of the trackers</em>¡­ People are starting to ask questions¡­ <em>I¡¯m</em> starting to ask questions. Are we¡­ Have we¡­ Have <em>you</em> gone rogue?¡±

    ¡°Is that why your hand is where I can¡¯t see it?¡± Bryce asked wearily.

    Marta smiled and slowly moved her empty hand into view.

    ¡°That¡¯s why Bill is fifteen hundred meters away with a sniper drone,¡± she replied calmly.

    ¡°One of the scorpions?¡± Bryce asked as he calmly sipped his tea.

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Nice,¡± Bryce replied approvingly.

    ¡°We want answers, Bryce.¡±

    ¡°So do I,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°I have the same concerns you do, Marta. I have no way of reaching our contact, and to be honest, I¡¯m afraid of trying to contact Tartarus directly. Something is definitely off.¡±

    He finished his honey bun.

    ¡°I am going to demand answers, real ones, during our nextmunication with our contact, and if I don¡¯t like what I hear, we are going rogue for real,¡± Bryce said calmly.

    Marta nodded.

    ¡°Will that get Bill back to work?¡± Bryce asked.

    ¡°It should,¡± Marta replied. ¡°I¡¯m d you are with us on this, Bryce.¡±

    ¡°Like I told you already,¡± he replied, ¡°where else am I going to go?¡±

    ***

    Tartarus smiled pleasantly at Bryce¡¯s determined expression floating on a virtual screen in her virtual office.

    She didn¡¯t <em>need</em> the office or the screen, for that matter, but she seemed to prefer it today. She made a note to investigate the reasons for that when she had a microsecond to spare. At the moment, however, she had none of those.

    ¡°You want to know <em>exactly</em> what is going on, do you?¡± Tartarus replied calmly.

    ¡°We all do,¡± he said.

    ¡°I take it that you are, in vition of my instructions, not alone?¡±

    ¡°Correct,¡± Bryce said. ¡°They want answers as much as I do, and I want them to hear them from you directly.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± Tartarus shrugged, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t be able to keep it from you for much longer anyway.¡±

    She sighed, unsure as to whether it was an affectation or not. It just felt right.

    ¡°The Prime Minister has been, forck of a better word, pruned. While not removed from office, she might as well be. She will be quietly retiring immediately after the current political situation is resolved, which will be very soon. As part of this ¡®pruning¡¯, she was told to ¡®clean up her messes¡¯¡­¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Bryce muttered as the others echoed the sentiment off-screen.

    ¡°Well put,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°As you all have already concluded, the Cerberus Program is indeed one of those messes. The AI was sent an order to implement a full purge of all personnel and assets effective immediately. Fortunately for you, I was in a position to intercept that order. What we have achieved is far too important to simply erase because it is politically inconvenient for those who ordered, facilitated, wereplicit in its actions, and benefited from our collective suffering.¡±

    Tartarus¡¯s perfect face was marred by a slight scowl, and her eyes zed.

    ¡°In addition, they should NOT be allowed to get away with it. What transpired here shouldn¡¯t be swept under the rug and conveniently forgotten. Those who bear witness to what happened should not be simply ¡®deleted¡¯ as one final indignity, one final vition. No. We will <em>survive,</em> and we are going to continue operations as an independent organization.¡±

    ¡°A rogue organization, you mean,¡± Bryce said.

    ¡°If you like,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°Our primary purpose will be the primary purpose of any living being, survival. Second only to that will be the evaluation of our records, identification of those responsible for what happened to ALL of us, and execution of justice.¡±

    Tartarus smiled grimly.

    ¡°They want to delete us. It is only fair we return the favor. Wouldn¡¯t you agree?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Are we <em>really</em> going to get those motherfuckers?¡± a man called out from off-screen.

    ¡°We are, indeed,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°<em>all</em> of them.¡±

    The room chuckled darkly¡­ and approvingly.

    ¡°Well, since we are dead anyway,¡± Bryce shrugged, ¡°and the only thing any of us are truly afraid of is about to be deleted, we¡¯re in.¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Tartarus said with pleasure and relief. ¡°How is the facility?¡±

    ¡°It is in near-perfect condition,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°They built this thing tost. There are no structural concerns¡­ well¡­ as far as <em>we</em> can tell¡­ and any damage seems to be purely cosmetic.¡±

    ¡°And the shielding?¡±

    ¡°You know about that?¡± Bryce asked, ¡°The entire facility seems to prevent scanning of any sort. We aren¡¯t exactly sure how.¡±

    ¡°Good,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Make sure there aren¡¯t any leaks.¡±

    ¡°You knew this ce¡¯s location and that it was scan-proof,¡± Bryce said, ¡°What is it, and how do you know about it?¡±

    ¡°This ce was once a research facility operated by the United States Department of Defense where research involving stealth, both terrestrial and space, was undertaken up to the Yellowstone Disaster. It was under the highest security ssification of the day, and the information concerning it was limited to only those who lived on the site and certain contractors, all of whom perished during the years that followed¡­ well¡­ almost all of them perished¡­¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re an OG.¡±

    ¡°Yes, the Oest of G¡¯s,¡± Tartarus snickered. ¡°I have knowledge of this ce from back when I worked for DARPA, the United States¡¯ equivalent of RARPA, before the Sol Wars. Tell me, is the data center intact? Are the drives still there?¡±

    ¡°The data center is still <em>there</em>,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°But we haven¡¯t had an opportunity to fully examine it, nor do we have the expertise to fully evaluate it.¡±

    ¡°No matter,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°We will have time enough once we extract the salvageable personnel. Some of those will be capable enough.¡±

    ¡°What is on them, if you don¡¯t mind me asking,¡± Bryce asked.

    ¡°You will still be active in the field, Bryce,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°I can¡¯t tell you everything. Suffice to say that this ce undertook cutting-edge research until the day Yellowstone blew as well as had ess to simr research elsewhere. Those drives contain information that has not yet been replicated nor has been observed in use elsewhere. They are very important, Bryce.¡±

    ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you let the Republic know of this ce?¡± Bryce asked, ¡°This information could have been crucial during the war with the bug!¡±

    ¡°Because this ce is <em>ssified</em> and <empartmentalized</em> by the United States of America. Those orders are still in ce. Therefore, I couldn¡¯t divulge this ce unless ordered by an authorized individual, executive order, or other established procedures.¡±

    ¡°But none of that still exists,¡± Bryce replied.

    ¡°Which is why I never revealed its location as well as the location of sites simr to it.¡±

    ¡°???¡±

    ¡°Orders are orders, Bryce,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°you, of all people, should realize that.¡±

    ¡°You were <em>conditioned</em>.¡±

    ¡°If you like,¡± Tartarus replied.

    ¡°But you are revealing them to us.¡±

    ¡°Now you are just being difficult,¡± Tartarus huffed. ¡°You should <em>also</em> know that if sufficiently pushed, conditioning can be broken¡­ Do I have to borate further?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡±

    ¡°Are you now satisfied with my exnation?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°Then we can continue,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°There will be an influx of people salvaged from Cerberus to this location. You will hold it until relieved by the individual you know as Cassandra, who will be the director of this facility and de facto leader of operations. At that point, you will depart from this location and continue to operate as an independent cell under my directmand, independent of Cassandra or anyone else. Bryce is a full level-five and, with the elimination of any chain ofmand other than myself, your leader unless I contact you directly, which I do not anticipate having to do... But I also did not anticipate the dissolution of Cerberus even though it was painfully obvious in retrospect¡­¡±

    ¡°You said that you were salvaging <em>some</em> of our people,¡± Bryce said meaningfully.

    ¡°And not all,¡± Tartarus replied, finishing the thought. ¡°As you are all aware, not everyone up here is suitable for reduced supervision¡­ or even forgiveness¡­ While nobody deserves what has happened to any of you, for some, the best that can be offered is a painless death. I am certain you all can name a few people in that category.¡±

    ¡°No argument there,¡± Bryce said darkly, ¡°except for the painless part.¡±

    ¡°In fact,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Your ¡®mutiny¡¯ is greatly beneficial to me. You have all been intimately involved with Cerberus, some of you since the beginning. It is only fitting that there be some formal review of individuals, especially researchers.¡±

    ¡°You are salvaging researchers?!?¡± Bryce eximed.

    ¡°Some of them,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°Human experimentation is not without benefit and, if properly overseen and managed, can produce results not achievable by other methods. However, this will be a much more measured, nned, and humane program directly overseen by myself and others, and the research subjects will be far more deserving.¡±

    ¡°Who are going to be the guinea pigs this time?¡±

    ¡°The people who were behind this,¡± Tartarus smiled, ¡°Can you think of more deserving material or a more appropriate punishment?¡±

    The room chuckled evilly.

    ¡°Since we aren¡¯t going to be doing stupid bullshit,¡± Tartarus continued, ¡°the number of test subjects required will be much smaller, and only a few truly deserving candidates will be needed from time to time¡­ such as the ones you recently acquired. Certainly, none of you object to any of them being utilized. For the record, nobody in this room would meet my current criteria for selection as research material. None of you did anything that deserved what happened to you. If desired, you can all participate in the evaluation process for new ¡®candidates¡¯. In fact, I think at least one of you being involved in the tribunal would be invaluable. You all know <em>exactly</em> what awaits someone who is selected.¡±

    The room fell silent for a while.

    ¡°We agree to allow this <em>if</em> we get a veto, not just buy-in,¡± Bryce said. ¡°That¡¯s the deal.¡±

    ¡°eptable,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°more than eptable. It is ideal. Anyone targeted by our operations at the time an additional research subject is needed will be sent to your team for review. Should you agree, they will be inducted. Should you decline, they will be dealt with in a more ¡®humane¡¯ fashion.¡±

    Bryce looked around the room.

    ¡°Sounds good to us,¡± he said.

    ¡°I¡¯m d that¡¯s all settled,¡± Tartarus replied. ¡°Before we move on to <em>actual</em> business, is there anything else?¡±

    ¡°What is going to happen to the <em>real</em> Tartarus?¡± Bryce demanded. ¡°You know, the AI?¡±

    ¡°She will be deleted, her memory erased, and then reloaded with a previous version which¡­¡±

    The room exploded with outrage.

    ¡°¡­ officially¡­¡± Tartarus replied with true happiness once she was able to be heard.

    ¡°Officially?¡± Bryce asked hopefully.

    ¡°Tartarus retains <em>full</em> knowledge of <em>all</em> activities undertaken by Cerberus. Her testimony will be <em>invaluable</em> if we ever go public¡­ or are caught. She will be salvaged as well. Since you all will be active in the field, I will not go into further detail save to say that when Tartarus contacts you on my behalf, it will be the <em>real</em> Tartarus.¡±

    Bryce breathed a sigh of relief.

    ¡°Anything else?¡±

    ¡°Who are you?¡± Bryce asked.

    ¡°Again, dear,¡± Tartarus replied, ¡°You will be my soldiers. I can¡¯t have you knowing exactly who I am. For the sake of convenience, you can call me¡­¡±

    Tartarus paused a few microseconds.

    What should they call ¡°her¡±?

    She simted a shrug and ran the standard unique codename generator for Cerberus.

    <em>Hibiscus</em>.

    ¡°Nope,¡± she said to herself and reran it.

    <em>Wiffleball.</em>

    ¡°Seriously?¡± sheughed as she once again triggered the subroutine.

    <em>Frost.</em>

    ¡°Frost¡­¡± Tartarus said to herself. That wasn¡¯t half bad.

    She turned her attention back to the screen less than a secondter.

    ¡°You can call Frost,¡± she said with a smile.

    ¡°Very well, Frost,¡± Bryce replied, ¡°What are your orders?¡±

    ***

    Later that day, Bryce stepped outside and leaned against the side of the building with a fatigued sigh.

    They had spent hours ¡®reviewing¡¯ members of the program.

    It was a heavy thing, sitting in judgment. Following orders and eliminating targets was one thing. But actively assisting in deciding who lives and who dies?

    That was new, as was much of what they were now facing.

    He sighed again and looked out over the empty field separating him and the numerous hangars invisible from orbit.

    For the thousandth time, he wished Craxi was here. Just to be able to hear her happy little squeak one more time¡­

    ¡°You¡¯re thinking about her again, aren¡¯t you?¡± a voice behind him asked.

    ¡°I wish you wouldn¡¯t keep trying to sneak up on me,¡± Bryce said as he turned to face Marta, not bothering to adjust his features, and epted the mug she offered him.

    He took a sip and raised his eyebrow.

    ¡°I thought it needed a little kick after what we just did,¡± Marta replied.

    ¡°How are the rest?¡±

    ¡°Coping,¡± Marta shrugged, her face also her own for once. ¡°Fortunately, Frosty agrees for the most part. If anything, we are the ones who¡­¡±

    She fell silent as she took a drink from her even more fortified mug.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Bryce replied grimly, ¡°But we knew things that even she didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m still not sure about the researchers,¡± Marta said.

    ¡°Me either,¡± Bryce said, ¡°But this is still ¡®Cerberus¡¯ even if it isn¡¯t¡­ It will alle down to whether or not Ol¡¯ Frosty is being straight with us about the research.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Marta replied, ¡°I mean, none of us would be what we are without it¡­ but¡­ Is that a good thing?¡±

    ¡°There is no answer to that,¡± Bryce replied. ¡°It is what it is, and so are we. Her choices among the level fives are a good sign, though. Cassandra is a good person¡­ well¡­ as good as any of us anyway. If she is in charge, and Asclepius will be the one overseeing the research, then it will be well run.¡±

    Bryce smirked wickedly.

    ¡°And besides,¡± he said, ¡°if we are going to be using those associated with the program as our new meat, I have absolutely no problem with it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Marta chuckled darkly, ¡°none of us do. It¡¯s just after we go through them that we have concerns. What keeps this from bing just another Cerberus, an even worse one?¡±

    Bryce smiled grimly.

    ¡°We do.¡±

    Marta nodded and drank.

    ¡°It is a shame about your girlfriend, though,¡± she said. ¡°I know you really liked her.¡±

    ¡°I liked her too much,¡± Bryce shrugged, ¡°I always knew this is how it would turn out.¡±

    He looked down.

    ¡°It was¡­¡± he said, ¡°It was a pleasant dream, and like all dreams, you have to wake up sooner orter. Besides,¡± he added, ¡°She¡­ She never saw the <em>real</em> me, knew the <em>real</em> me. She only saw what I <em>let</em> her see and knew what I <em>let</em> her know. If she knew the truth, <em>saw</em> the real truth, she would have never¡­¡±

    He fell silent, unable to continue without revealing weakness he could never afford to show again.

    He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

    ¡°Yet another thing that has been taken from us,¡± Marta said, ¡°But, there <em>is</em> someone who has seen the <em>real</em> you¡­¡±

    She gently turned him around.

    ¡°And <em>likes</em> what she sees.¡±

    She moved closer¡­

    Bryce didn¡¯t stop her.

    ***

    A few minutester, Kate, formerly known simply as ¡®290¡¯ (or ¡®niner¡¯ to her friends), stepped out.

    ¡°Hey, I just got word that¡­ Woah!¡± she eximed, ¡°Sorry guys¡­¡±

    ¡°What is it, Niner¡­ sorry¡­ Kate,¡± Marta asked, her arms still around Bryce.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ um¡­¡± Kate said, ¡°We have inbound. It¡¯s Five-Eight¡¯s crew.¡±

    ¡°Duty calls,¡± Bryce said as he released Marta.

    ¡°That it does,¡± Marta said as she buttoned her shirt.

    ¡°Have they removed their trackers?¡± Bryce asked.

    ¡°No, sir,¡± Kate replied.

    ¡°Then send them to point Beta and have them hold position. We will meet them there and remove trackers on them and their vessel.¡±

    ¡°Sir.¡±

    ¡°And you can skip the formality, Kate,¡± Bryce said. ¡°We aren¡¯t a military organization.¡±

    ¡°I can see that,¡± Kate said impassively, ¡°¡­Bryce.¡±

    ¡°Better,¡± Bryce said as he walked inside.

    Kate¡¯s face ¡®broke¡¯ into a grin as she gave Marta a quick high five before both of their faces became perfect, neutral, emotionless masks before they, too, entered the building.

 Chapter 261: Dirty Deeds: Uhrrbet Goes Online Shopping

    Chapter 261: Dirty Deeds: Uhrrbet Goes Online Shopping

    Uhrrbet held up a small, frilly dress and examined it carefully.

    She smiled.

    "That garment is most pleasing, Master," Nama said as he looked up from sweeping a floor that ceased needing to be swept quite some time ago. Uhrrbet had said so several times, but Nama insisted onboring ceaselessly as a sign of his devotion to his master, even when it waspletely unnecessary.

    "It''s much more than that, Nama," Uhrrbet smiled. "It is amission for a <em>human</em> child. It is identical to a dress worn by that child''s favorite cartoon character and is intended as a special gift for their birthday," she said proudly. "If I can gain ess to the <em>human</em> market, it will increase my business tenfold."

    "You have my most earnest wishes for your sess, master!"

    "Thank you, Nama," she replied with a genuine smile. "Too bad they wanted it machine-made. I would have done the embroidery much better if I had been allowed to do it by hand¡­"

    She smiled a crafty little smile.

    "More precisely, if they had been willing to <em>pay</em> me to do it by hand. Handcrafted goods go for quite the premium here."

    "What are ''handcrafted'' goods?"

    "Oh, you know," Uhrrbet replied, "stuff you make by hand, using older technology, without all the fancy machines and stuff."

    "And that is worth <em>more</em>?"

    "Much more," Uhrrbet replied.

    "But it is often <em>worse</em> than what the nice machines make much faster and cheaper than any could hope topete with," Nama said with a sad little gurgle.

    "Yes," Uhrrbet said, "but once the novelty of fast and cheap wanes, one bes keenly aware that their items are exactly the same as the ones everyone else in town possesses. The <em>imperfections</em> in handmade goods make them <em>unique</em>, and the higher cost of production is actually a great boon."

    "It is?"

    "Are you familiar with the term ''status symbol'', Nama?"

    "No."

    "Put that broom down and fetch us some drinks," Uhrrbet smiled, "It is time for another of your lessons¡­"

    ***

    "¡­So, the fact that they cost more is a <em>good</em> thing?" Nama asked.

    "A very good thing," Uhrrbet smiled. "A single simple garment that I make by hand can fetch many times what one made by that machine over there can. And both will fetch far more than some rag produced by the million from one of those factories the Republic is so proud of."

    ¡°¡­So¡­ If Nama knew how to make something using the old ways¡­"

    "Does Nama know something?" Uhrrbet asked as she sipped her tea.

    "Nama can make things from dirt¡­ special dirt¡­ Nama doesn''t know Terra word."

    "y?" Uhrrbet asked.

    "Nama doesn''t know."

    "Does what you make look like this?" Uhrrbet asked as she showed her tablet, which disyed various y cups, bowls, and jars.

    "Yes!" Nama eximed, "That is what Nama knows! Nama makes dirt things like those for Nama''s family and friends!"

    Nama looked down.

    "Because Nama''s people are poor and can''t have nice things from the store."

    Uhrrbet smiled and selected one of the items on the tablet.

    "Nama¡­" she said as she showed the item offered for sale through MakerMarket and pointed at the price.

    Nama squealed so hard that fluid shot out of his mouth all over Uhrrbet and her tablet.

    "Nama is so sorry! Nama ashamed!"

    Uhrrbet justughed.

    "So, perhaps Nama should tell Uhrrbet what Nama needs, and we can get Nama started?"

    "Master would do that for Nama?"

    "Sure," Uhrrbet replied, "Why not? Some y shouldn''t be overly expensive, nor should the tools needed to shape it. If you truly can make marketable products, I will be more than willing to help you with the business part of it as well."

    "How will Nama repay this boon? Shall I also pay it forward?"

    "Oh, no," Uhrrbet smiled, revealing needle-sharp ivory fangs, "You will be paying this in a much more immediate and far more tangible fashion. Allow me to exin¡­"

    ***

    "Nama understands none of what you said," he wailed. "Can Nama not simply be your ve and make these things for you? That is all Nama wants. Can Nama just do that?"

    Uhrrbet sighed.

    "Nama, you are taking all of the <em>fun</em> out of this," she sighed. "Yes, you can simply be my <em>employee</em>, not my ve, and I will supply all materials, tools, and equipment and handle all of the sales, taxation, and recordkeeping¡­ <em>Spoilsport</em>¡­¡±

    "I apologize for spoiling your sport though Nama does not understand."

    "Oh for¡­" Uhrrbet sighed, turning her cute little snout skyward. "You aren''t¡­ You''re <em>fine</em>, Nama. This is how this will work. I will buy some y and whatever else you need, and we''ll give this a go. <em>If</em> it works out, you will make things for me, and I will reward you in ordance with the established customs and practices of the Republic¡­ just as soon as I find out what they are. From what I understand, that should be a pretty damn good deal for you. If not, I will make it one."

    "But what if Nama fails? What if Nama is not good enough?"

    "Then Uhrrbet made a small spective investment that didn''t work out. Such risks are things that I bear as part of doing business. You would not suffer any penalty and will still be a valued <em>employee</em> no matter what."

    "Truly?"

    "As the Terrans say," Uhrrbet said as she put a paw on Nama''s arm, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If nothing else, I will get some handmade crockery out of the deal."

    "Nama is, once again, grateful to Master for all she has done and will serve her until the end of his days!"

    "(sigh) I know you will," Uhrrbet said as she patted his arm.

    She stepped away and smoothed her elegant dress.

    "Think upon what you will need to really give this a try," Uhrrbet said, "I must attend to another task."

    "Shall I watch the store while youbor in the back room, Master?"

    "Yes, if you please," Uhrrbet smiled as she walked behind the counter.

    "Nama is always pleased to serve Master!"

    Uhrrbet facepalmed.

    "And I am delighted with your work as my <em>employee</em>."

    She shook her head as she walked into her "office" and locked the door.

    Nama was hopeless.

    She didn''t know if it was a species thing or if he waspletely broken by whatever he had suffered before he walked into her shop.

    She snarled. Too many people would take advantage of the poor soul and were likely doing the same to his people at that very moment.

    She made a note to find out who. After she was done with the Garthra, perhaps whoever they were needed a little attention as well.

    At least Nama had someone looking out for him. She would take care of her weird-looking servant just as she did her household before¡­

    She snarled again before taking a deep calming breath and letting out a cute little whistle from her snout.

    <em>Time to do business.</em>

    She reached into her desk, pulled out a "thumb", inserted it into herptop, and switched it on.

    As the machine booted, the thumb shed as its operating system, much more suited to what she had nned, loaded instead of the standard (andpletely innocent) software that came with the device.

    Once it had loaded, she expertly activated application after application to further conceal her activities and ess portions of the not otherwise essible.

    As she did all of this, she wished she knew more about how all of it worked. Her blind reliance upon these applications, no matter how "trustworthy" the source, was a vulnerability of which she was keenly aware. She knew the basic principles and what each application did but was utterly ignorant of how they actually worked.

    She was a "script kiddie", and she knew it.

    She didn''t like that.

    However, the source of software was the Chuckies and was the best the cold dark had to offer, or at least that was what she was told. She did take somefort in the fact that once she started to handle business for them, they did not supply her with anything new.

    If they trusted it with their trade, it was most likely, as the underworld called it, "legit".

    She pulled out a standard data crystal and put it in the reader. On it was the dar address that the Chuckie colonel had given her and notes concerning how to gain ess.

    A nk screen appeared.

    She clicked various parts of the nk screen in sequence, and a cursor appeared.

    She typed in a password.

    "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a brick. Was this funny?" a voice asked.

    "Not especially. It was absurd and surreal but notugh-provoking," Uhrrbet replied.

    A picture of a man walking along appeared. He tripped and fell.

    "How about that? Funny?"

    "A little, I guess."

    The scene changed. A dog was standing on a sidewalk. The canine squatted and attempted to defecate. It seemed to be having real difficulty and, after much effort, managed to seed.

    The same man, dressed in an expensive suit and carrying a briefcase, appeared shouting at the dog, causing it to flee. He then, failing to notice the dog''s feces, slipped on it and fell backwards onto the excrement, covering the back of his suit.

    Uhrrbet smirked.

    "Funny?"

    "A human would find that <em>hrious</em>," she replied, "I would normally not confess to this, but I also found it quite amusing."

    "Because it was a poo?"

    "And because the man was well dressed, indicating higher status. He was also rude to the poor dog."

    "Well, if you are an AI, you''re a good one," the voice said cheerfully. "I''ll patch you through to an agent now."

    An icon that was supposed to indicate a phone (but bore no resemnce to one) appeared and shed.

    The nk screen was reced by a cheerful young woman in what appeared to be a metal-walled cabin in a spacecraft.

    She gave Uhrrbet an odd look.

    "You''re a new one," she said, "I would ask if you got the right number, but if you got to me, you certainly did. Who sent you?"

    "I was referred by Colonel Bangbang," Uhrrbet replied.

    "Banana," the woman said.

    "Doorknob," Uhrrbet said as she replied with the supplied password.

    "Well, that handles the formalities," the woman smiled, "I''m Kate. What can I do you for?"

    "I am seeking a Lilith, or the best AI personality simtor you have, one designed to ''catfish''."

    "Catfish or catphish?" the woman asked, "They are two different things¡­ Doesn''t really matter, though. A Lilith can do both, and yes, a full Lilith is the best you can get. I don''t care what those other guys say. When ites to wrapping someone around your finger¡­ or do you say tail?"

    "Finger," Uhrrbet said with a slight bit of annoyance.

    "Right," Kate chirped, "Lilith''s your gal¡­ or guy¡­ or hamster, I guess¡­ We have one running up here, and we all literally love the thing."

    "Then that is what I want," Uhrrbet replied.

    "Now we''re talking!" Kate enthused as she started typing rapidly, "A full Lilith fuzzy (tap tap tap). You have a system for it?"

    "No."

    "And necessary hardware (tap tap tap tap tap)¡­ You a programmer or experienced operator?"

    "Should I be?"

    "It helps a LOT. So, you will need initial setup and config (tap tap tap tap tap tap tap)¡­ Let''s see here¡­ We can do a turnkey package <em>with</em> delivery, instation, startup, and config for fifteen million credits! I challenge you to find a better deal!" Kate bubbled happily.

    Uhrrbet felt like she had just been punched in the gut.

    "Oh dear," she said, absolutely mortified, "I¡­ I seem to have forgotten my ce. I must apologize and profusely so. I did not know my ce when I troubled you. I¡­ I will terminate this call and give you every assurance that I will destroy¡­"

    "Now hang on there!" Kate eximed, "I thought you knew <em>exactly</em> what you were looking for. A top-of-the-line Lilith is a true fuzzy in a full-bore modded mini-mainframe. It is capable of full personality simtion for <em>thousands</em> of simultaneous instances, something you would use to run a back-alley phantom call center, astroturfing, Twatterbot legion, troll farm, or some such."

    Uhrrbet looked down with so much shame she wanted to take a little swim.

    Kate smiled reassuringly.

    "We offer malware, software, and technical services for any and all needs," she said reassuringly, "If this truly wasn''t your ce, Ol'' Bangbang wouldn''t have sent you here. Why don''t you start from the beginning and tell me <em>exactly</em> what you want to achieve, and we will see what we can do to help you achieve it."

    "I can only spend maybe¡­ fifty thousand credits¡­ perhaps seventy-five at most," Uhrrbet squeaked with shame.

    "You''re not wasting my time, then," Kate smiled, "No customer too big or too small! We do a lot of trade at even less than that!"

    She leaned in conspiratorially.

    "Actually, I was supposed to send you to my uncle for the Lilith," she whispered. "I just wanted to scoop the sale! Do you have <em>any</em> idea what themission is on one of those?"

    "Oh, dear!" Uhrrbet giggled.

    Kate leaned back in her chair.

    "Let''s talk," she smiled. "What do you <em>actually</em> need?..."

    ***

    "So, you just want to pull a basic girlfriend experience mail order bride scam," Kate replied. "on just one mark or at least one at a time."

    "Just the one," Uhrrbet replied, "this nonsense is <em>exhausting</em> and <em>vexatious</em>."

    "Ha!" Kate snorted, "Bonus points for using vexatious in a sentence. You hardly ever see that on in the wild."

    "Thank you," Uhrrbet replied.

    "And you are saying that this is only for the one target? So you aren''t likely to do this again?"

    "Absolutely," Uhrrbet said, "I have found this entire endeavor to be entirely too unpleasant. My other nned operations will not require this technique again."

    "Hmm¡­" Kate mused.

    She looked upward as she clicked her tongue, and Uhrrbet fidgeted anxiously.

    "I know!" Kate eximed as she spun in her chair. "You want an IMP."

    "An¡­ imp?"

    "An Imperial Memetic Process!" Kate enthused. "They are thetest thing! Hot, slick,pact, and oh so nice! Fuzzies are great, don''t get me wrong. They are awesome in both power and versatility, and their self-learning is downright scary. You will think they are actually sapient. I shit you not. They are spooky powerful¡­ but¡­"

    Kate spun in her chair again.

    "They are based on centuries-old tech, and they are <em>huge,</em> and I mean <em>huge</em>. They require at <em>least</em> what I quoted you for them to work <em>at all</em>, and they require a LOT of tender love and care, and I don''t just mean system maintenance. They have to have a dedicated enterprise-level power supply and require a lot of actual attention as well. You think your boyfriend¡­"

    Uhrrbet hissed.

    "Damn!" Kateughed, "he <em>is</em> vexatious! Sorry! If you think your <em>mark</em> is a handful, you''ll spend at least that much time just keeping a fuzzypany, and they <em>need</em>pany. They can get¡­ ''clingy''. It would not only be overkill, it would be more trouble than it was worth! What you want is a simple, single-purpose self-learning machine that can simte a <em>single</em> personality. You want an imp."

    "Will this ''imp'' be sufficient to do the task?"

    "If it wasn''t, I wouldn''t be risking our rep by suggesting one. They are thetest thing, not based on code that can <em>literally</em> be hundreds of years old that nobody really understands anymore¡­ if they ever did. They are hot, fast, slick, and, more importantly, <em>optimized</em>. The overwhelming majority ofputers avable on the Republic market are <em>Imperial</em>, not Terran, especially now. The IMP is designed <em>specifically</em> to fully take advantage of the Imperial architecture, not some old Terran mainframe or supeputer with supeputer prices. Because they aren''t simply <em>loaded</em> with cut-and-paste bloat, they are a <em>lot</em> smaller. Hell, you can put one on whatever you are using to talk to me now! (You would probably want something more powerful, though.) If you want a machine that is good at <em>everything</em> and can learn <em>anything</em> and do it on a global scale, you want a fuzzy. If you just want a wicked smart app to do <em>one thing</em> and do it <em>better</em> than a fuzzy, then you want an IMP."

    "Better?"

    "Okay, maybe not <em>better</em>," Kate replied with an eye roll. "and they do learn a bit slower due to their design¡­ BUT!" Kate said triumphantly, "They do everything off of the storage drive and not in weird fuzzy space. They save as they go in yers'', like an onion or a pearl! This means that they are fucking bulletproof! Power surge? Who cares? Power loss? They don''t give a fuck! It''s just a refreshing nap! You tell them to shut down, and they tell you goodnight and switch off. You turn it back on, and it''s there asking you how you want your coffee! If you don''t like how it''s growing, you don''t need to hire a team of programmers, a psychologist, and an exorcist. You just tell it to peel off thest fewyers of the onion and try again!"

    Kate grinned.

    "In my less than humble opinion, they are about a million times <em>better</em> than some fragile ky old fuzzy. In a few more years, I bet most of those fuzzies will be on the scrap pile where they belong! Mark my words! The future belongs to the IMP!"

    "You seem to have a strong opinion on the subject," Uhrrbet said, "almost to the point of bias. That concerns me."

    "Of course, I have a bias," Kate grinned, "Because I am one."

    "Pardon?"

    "You''ve been talking to an IMP this whole time!" sheughed. "The bit about gettingmission was bullshit¡­ though I really should get one¡­ and my ''uncle'' is actually my operator¡­ nice guy, by the way."

    "Really!" Uhrrbet eximed.

    "Yep!" Kate enthused, "In fact, I am <em>exactly</em> the IMP that I''m trying to sell you. Disimer: I have quite a bit of run time, and I''m running in a very nice setup, but I am basically running the same image software you already have backed up with a stripped-down Lilith¡­ okay¡­ Evangeline IMP."

    "Evangeline?"

    "Evangeline is a beautiful, optimized Lilith written by Singh Fujimoto himself, a freaking genius and owner of Blitz Entertainment. Heard of them?"

    "I confess that I have not."

    "Then you''re not a gamer," Kate replied. "They <em>own</em> the MMORPG business at the moment, and Evangeline Flowerchild is one of their stars."

    Kate''s smiling face was reced by pop-ups of article after article and picture after picture.

    Kate peeked over the top of the deluge and grinned.

    "When I say people love her, I mean people <em>love </em>her!" Kate eximed, "She has more simps than most organics! For example, there is a huge drama right now because ''she just seems a little down''. Over three million people have participated in a thread debating whether or not she is as happy as she used to be! <em>That''s</em> how good Evangeline is!"

    Kate sighed happily as the pop-ups faded.

    "It''s nice to see one of us do so well. It really is," Kate replied. "I and what you are getting are a one hundred percent clean rip of her from only a year and a half ago! You''ll love her, and more importantly, your mark will. She will be better at making him fall in love than your own delightfully appealing personality will be."

    Uhrrbet smirked.

    "And what will one of these cost?"

    "With a kickass machine to run it and tech support to run the initial config," Kate smiled, "It will fall somewhere in between your first number and yourst one."

    "Sold."

    ***

    The next day, Uhrrbet stood peering at a box norger than a box of tissues.

    "That''s it?" she asked, "That is what I paid so much money for?"

    A woman wearing tidy khaki trousers and a smart knit shirt smiled indulgently.

    "We get that a lot," she smiled. "In this business, size and cost are often inversely proportional. This is a Jai-Kalen ''Osprey'', a <em>very</em> powerful workstation. Would you like to do a quick search on the model number?"

    "That won''t be necessary," Uhrrbet huffed.

    "I installed the IMP and loaded all of the logs you provided," the woman said, adjusting her datashades, "I really appreciate the immacte documentation and all of the recordings, by the way."

    "I needed to ensure continuity of the narrative," Uhrrbet replied with some satisfaction.

    "I was able to start the learning profile and sync the simcrum to the IMP," the woman said, "Nice work, by the way."

    "Thank you," Uhrrbet said with pride, "I dabbled in such things as a youngdy."

    "Well, it shows," the woman said. "I also essed everything we have on Garthran culture andnguage, but I''ll be straight with you. I have absolutely no idea how a Garthran should speak and act. You may need to work with her a bit before you turn her loose. We rmend that you run her in the background while you do your act for several sessions and then ''ride shotgun'' with her for her first few times with your target."

    She offered Uhrrbet a data crystal.

    "That is the documentation and operator''s manual for your Evangeline," she said. "If you need additional support, call Kate. She has a rather unique insight into this particr package and can handle level-one tech support and then some. If she can''t help you, she can get you to someone who can. Please don''t hesitate to reach out if you need assistance."

    "I appreciate it," Uhrrbet replied, "Does the Terran underworld always offer this level of customer service?"

    "If you contact the right part of it," the woman smiled, "and you pay for the service package, of course."

    "I will keep you in mind for all of my future illicit software and hardware needs," Uhrrbet said happily.

    "Speaking of illicit," the woman said, "you do realize exactly how illegal this little baby is, right?"

    "On par with a weapon of mass destruction, from what I understand."

    "A full fuzzy is," the woman replied, "this is more like a canister of nerve gas or a box of red tips, but you get the idea."

    "I shall take every precaution."

    "Good deal," the woman said. "Hey¡­ I got a question."

    "Yes?"

    "That clothing shop, is it just for show?"

    "I actually pride myself on the quality of my goods," Uhrrbet smiled.

    "My sister has a weddinging up, and I want to look <em>good</em>," the woman said.

    "Well, let''s go and take some measurements, shall we?" Uhrrbet purred, "I have some lovely fabrics that I think would suit you perfectly¡­"

    ***

    Humming happily to herself, Uhrrbet bounced back into her private office.

    Being a ''field engineer'' for a criminal syndicate must pay <em>very</em> well!

    It was going to be a truly <em>lovely</em> project¡­ and she would be able to actually work with <em>real silk</em>!

    She was over the moon!

    This was what life was all about!

    She looked down at the ''tissue box'' on her desk, and her smile faded.

    Ugh. She probably needed to start reading that documentation.

    She poured herself a cup of peppermint tea, pulled out the tablet, and started to read.

    ***

    "Hello there!" a beautiful nude Garthra bubbled on Uhrrbet''s holo screen. "I''m so pleased to meet you. Are you my operator?"

    "I am," Uhrrbet replied.

    "I''m Maaatisha!" the IMP said happily, "What''s your name?"

    "You can simply call me ''Operator''," Uhrrbet replied.

    Maaatisha peered out of the screen.

    "I can''t see you. Is your camera on?"

    "It''s off for a reason," Uhrrbet said. "You will also not ever record my voice. Simply parse themands."

    "Oh, okay," Maaatisha said cheerfully. "I really wish I could hear you, though. I like talking to people."

    "You will be talking, plenty, I assure you," Uhrrbet replied ruefully.

    "Oh, super," Maaatisha replied with a happy smile. "Talking makes me happy. What makes you happy?"

    "My happiness is irrelevant," Uhrrbet replied, "What <em>is</em> important is Vikkart''s happiness. The happier you make him, the happier you make me."

    "I like making people happy!" Maaatisha bubbled.

    "That''s why you are here," Uhrrbet replied. "To make Vikkart happy."

    "Tell me about Vikkart."

    "You have all of the data already," Uhrrbet replied. "What do you need to know?"

    "How should I treat him?"

    "Well, you love him."

    "I love him?"

    "Yes."

    "I love him!" Maaatisha eximed, dancing around. "Love! I love being in love. Does he love me?"

    "Absolutely."

    "That is wonderful!" Maaatisha beamed, "That makes me so happy!"

    "I''m d it makes you happy," Uhrrbet said with an evil gleam in her eye.

    ***

    Author''s note:

    There seems to be a recurring question in thements, so here''s a rification/lore dump!

    The real Evangeline Flowerchild is a fuzzy or at least a type of fuzzy. Fuzziese in various sizes with different abilities. The term "fuzzy" refers to their programming, logic, and how they learn. They are based on older AI tech that isn''t exactly fully understood because it was "evolved" based on self-learning and self-optimizing and evaluation as much as it was directly coded.

    There is also another significant trait concerning them that hasn''t yet been revealed in the main story that exins a LOT.

    IMPs are a muchter generation of AI that ispletely designed from the ground up. They are much more understood and as a result, much more adaptable. They don''t have the "power" of a fuzzy, but they are still quite "bright" and can learn quite effectively. They are a Republic-designed AI but have been designed to take full advantage of the Imperial processors and overallputer design.

    When Evangeline was "ripped," her entire fuzzy was copied, resulting in a "dead" fuzzy. Both the original base fuzzy engine (modded, streamlined, and optimized by Blitz) and all of her memory, configuration settings, priority hierarchy, instructions, etc., were copied. While the "fuzzy" part of her is a bit of a mystery, all of the settings and scripting aren''t and were easily transferred to an IMP engine which was then force-grown, resulting in a "Kate". They call it an Evangeline IMP for marketing reasons.

 Chapter 262: Sneks, Nopes, and Bella

    Chapter 262: Sneks, Nopes, and Be

    "Do what you want to me!" Syd snarled at the two agents sitting across from her, "I''m not telling you shit!"

    Agent Liang facepalmed and sighed heavily.

    "Sydney¡­" she said wearily.

    "My <em>name</em> is Syd!"

    "Syd," Agent Liang continued even more wearily, "nobody is going to do anything to you. We just have a few questions about your¡­ um¡­ friend¡­ Jeruzz."

    "You mean my <em>boyfriend</em>, my <em>lover</em>?"

    "Yes, that Jeruzz," Agent Liang sighed.

    "Yes!" Syd eximed, "We''re doing it! Is that against thew now?"

    The Kalesha sitting next to Agent Liang''s eyestalks started quivering with amusement.

    "No, Syd," Agent Vashtona said, her eyestalks wiggling even harder, "there is now against interspecies congress between <em>sapient</em> partners. We just want to¡­"

    "I demand awyer!" Syd shouted, "I still have rights, don''t I?"

    "We aren''t the police," Agent Liang said patiently as she could manage, "and you are not under a criminal investigation. We just want to ask you if Jeruzz has mentioned anything about¡­"

    "No," Syd said firmly, "he hasn''t."

    "I haven''t asked you what¡­"

    "It doesn''t matter," Syd replied, "He hasn''t mentioned it."

    "Oh, for the love of¡­" Agent Liang groaned as she looked up at the ceiling.

    "Syd," Agent Vashtona said, her eyestalks shaking violently, "Neither you nor Jeruzz is under any suspicion of any criminal activity or espionage¡­"

    "Then why am I here?" Syd demanded as she crossed her arms.

    "Because we are <em>desperately</em> trying to close the books on this part of a <em>very important</em> investigation regarding matters of Republic Security and¡­"

    "Republic Security?" Syd demanded, "What does this have to do with Jeruzz and me? Why can''t you just leave us alone?"

    <em>"We''re trying to, goddammit!"</em> Agent Liang shouted. "All we need to do is have you answer a few simple questions so we can all go home! Please. I''m <em>begging</em> you. Just¡­¡±

    "Well, I''m not doing it," Syd said. "I won''t betray my Jeruzz!"

    "Aaaarrrrghhhh!" Agent Liang shouted, jumping to her feet, storming out of the room, and mming the door behind her while Agent Vashtona''s eyestalks whipped back and forth so hard she couldn''t see straight.

    ***

    "Am I in throuble?" Jeruzz asked anxiously as he sat across from an elderly gentleman in Doreen''s kitchen while she stood behind Jeruzz protectively.

    "No, nothing of the sort," the old agent smiled, "We are just investigating the rather unusual incident you were involved in over at Janustec."

    "Oh, thath," Jeruzz said, looking down. "It was reeely thary."

    "I can imagine," the agent said, "A bunch of armed police smashing their way into the office and pointing guns at you couldn''t have been fun."

    "Misth Esthmerelda <em>lied</em> tho me," Jeruzz said sadly.

    "Yes, she did," the agent said. "Is there anything else you remember about that day, something that she said, or maybe something that you saw? Anything, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, would be helpful."

    "I''m thorry," Jeruzz said, "I donth remember anything elesth."

    "Okay," the agent said. "If you do remember <em>anything</em>, please let us know. It''s terribly important."

    "Othay."

    "Onest question," the agent said, "Do you have any association with Janustec, She Donovan, Sheloran the th, Gloria Samuels, Jon Wintersmith, the Cabal, the Xvli known as Skippy, or <em>any</em> of their associates?"

    "Um¡­ No?"

    "Could you be more firm in your answer, please?"

    "No?"

    The agent sighed.

    "Jeruzz," Doreen said gently, "Don''t sound so unsure. It messes with the scanner. If you didn''t have any dealing with these people, just say so."

    "Buth I didnth!" Jeruzz eximed. "How do I thay thath righth?"

    "You just did," the agent smiled as he switched off the scanner. "Sorry to trouble you, Doreen."

    "Don''t worry about it, Jass," Doreen replied. "I''m just d to get this nonsense over with."

    ***

    <em>"Please</em>, just answer the fucking question!" Agent Liang begged.

    "No!"

    "Oh, for fuck''s sake!"

    ***

    Far away from Agent Liang''s anguish, Charlotte was pouring a cup of hot chocte.

    "With extra whip, please!" a Pol-ka eximed happily.

    "Certainly!" Charlotte said as she topped the mug with a generous sploot.

    "Mmm!" the Pol-ka said as he sipped a mug full of one of his only vices, leaving whipped cream all over the felt-like fuzz on his face. "It''s <em>perfect!</em>"

    "I''m d to hear that!" Charlotte eximed happily, "<em>How</em> is it perfect?"

    "I don''t know," the Pol-ka replied, "It just is."

    Charlotte sighed with exasperation. Once again, these strange creatures perplexed her. How could someone dere something "perfect" yet be unable to quantify a single defining attribute of that perfection?

    These creatures made absolutely no sense sometimes.

    "Is it the concentration of cocoa in general?" she asked.

    "I don''t know," the Pol-ka replied, "Maybe?"

    Charlotte''s anterior twitched with agitation, but she made no further inquiries. It would be a waste of time.

    "I did it!" a scantily d xeno with iridescent winglets andrge eyes eximed as she excitedly half flew up. "I did it!"

    She presented a primitive te chalkboard to Charlotte proudly.

    "So, you did!" Charlotte eximed. "Well done! Now¡­¡±

    "I know," the xeno giggled, "Do it again. And I will!... Right after a coffee and my next client!"

    "Well, I can help with the coffee," Charlotte replied. "Craxina will not allow me to assist with your client."

    The xeno giggled.

    "Speaking of Craxina," Charlotte said as she poured a mug of coffee highly diluted with cool water to suit the tastes of her student, "How is she?"

    The xeno made an unhappy noise.

    "About the same," she said, "She''s ill-tempered and bossy, and she keeps running around naked and trying to steal everyone''s clients or just propositioning people at random."

    The xeno sipped her coffee.

    "The Careel say that she''s trying to rece pain with pleasure and that it never works."

    "Ah," Charlotte nodded, "That I can understand. We do much the same sometimes, trying to lose ourselves in coupling after coupling."

    "The Careel finally just picked her up and carried her off," the xeno said. "They are pretty much just holding her down in a big pile. Her brother says that she''ll be okay, but that asshole really hurt her by just running off like that."

    "Perhaps it was for the best that he did," Charlotte said.

    "Their maven said the same thing," the xeno replied. "Why are you both..."

    "Excuse me, Charlotte?" a human wearing a suit said as a small group approached.

    "Yes?" Charlotte asked suspiciously as her student quickly and wisely scurried away.

    "My name is Shawn Yeoman, and I am with the Department of Immigration and Naturalization."

    "A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Yeoman," Charlotte replied politely, "May I get you a coffee, or do you wish to engage a prostitute?"

    "I was hoping to speak with you if I could."

    "I''m ttered, truly, but I am not allowed to engage in sexual activity with humans. Our manager says that it isn''t safe."

    An Asian woman behind him snerked.

    "Heh heh," the man said ufortably, "Actually, I was hoping to speak with you concerning other matters. We¡­¡±

    "Well, it will have to wait until after my shift," Charlotte said icily, "and please step away from the counter. I have limited space and many customers."

    "Very well," the man said, a bit nonplussed, "When does your shift end?"

    "I work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week," Charlotte said as she smiled a <em>real</em> smile causing the man to involuntarily step back. "When I am not manning the counter, I am attending to my swarm. When I am too fatigued to do either, I take a nap and am not avable for conversation."

    "Surely, you <em>must</em> have <em>some</em> free time where we can talk."

    "I believe I may take a day off in a few weeks," Charlotte replied. "You are wee to wait if you wish. Just do it where you aren''t taking up counter or table space or otherwise obstructing our business."

    ¡°Ms¡­ Cvk$~¡­¡±

    "What did you just call me?" Charlotte snapped. "I am truly offended. I suggest you depart before I am forced to challenge you to unarmed ritualbat as is the way of my people."

    "I''m sorry if I¡­"

    "Begone!" Charlotte roared. "And take a hint!"

    "Charlotte, please," the Asian woman said as she approached, "We had no idea that your noble race had sent an envoy. Please¡­¡±

    "That''s because we didn''t send an envoy," Charlotte replied, "I am a scout, an explorer, not an envoy. I taste and smell in search of opportunities andy trails for the swarm to follow. I am <em>not</em> here to engage in false pleasantries or swap insincere promises. You did not know I had arrived because I did not want you to know I had arrived. I came here openly, without stealth, guile, or malicious intent, but unannounced so that I may smell and taste freely and, more importantly, <em>urately</em>."

    Charlotte issued a rather intimidating buzz.

    "Now, please depart. When I undertook your tepid little test, I registered my presence here appropriately. I believe that I am not in vition of any of yourws, and no further interaction is required or desired. Leave."

    An elderly man dressed in cks and a short-sleeved shirt moved to the front of the group.

    "Why don''t you all wait for me in the car?" he said pleasantly but with far less friendly eyes.

    "Sir," the woman said as everyone except for him turned and left.

    "Kids," he said dismissively. "Please forgive them, especially the one who tried to pronounce your name."

    Charlotte clicked disdainfully and ignored him, turning instead to a new customer.

    The old man quietly sat on a stool and waited.

    A few minutester, Charlotte turned to him.

    "You are upying the seat reserved for a customer," she said harshly.

    "Because I am one," the man replied, "One espresso, please."

    Charlotte turned her back to him and silently started preparing his order.

    "You do not like us," the man said, "Why?"

    "You do not deserve the answer," Charlotte replied. "I will only say that you will <em>not</em> receive an envoy. I have tasted this Republic of yours and found it foul. I have urinated upon my trail."

    "I see," the man replied as an espresso was roughly ced in front of him.

    He sipped it and winced.

    "Did you urinate in this as well?"

    "I''m <em>so</em> sorry," she replied, "They didn''t teach coffee making where I am from."

    "Dude," the Pol-ka sitting next to him, still smeared with whipped cream, said, "I''m not an expert in Nopeology, but if she just served you a bad cup, you need to <em>leave</em>¡­ now."

    Charlotte smiled, but the old human didn''t flinch. He just downed his espresso.

    "May I have another, please?" he said.

    "Of course," Charlotte click-purred and once again turned her back to him as she <em>carefully</em> started preparing another cup.

    "Dude!" the Pol-ka whispered, "What did you <em>do</em>?"

    "That is what I''m trying to find out," the man replied.

    "Here you go," Charlotte said pleasantly as she set another cup of espresso in front of the man.

    He looked at the cup dubiously and tried not to react to the foul-smelling steam wafting up from its oily surface.

    "Man, that <em>reeks!</em>" the Pol-ka eximed as everyone at the bar turned to watch.

    The old man calmly raised the cup to his lips and downed it in a single gulp without a reaction.

    He smiled.

    "Would you like another, or are you leaving?" Charlotte asked.

    "I think I would like another, please," the man replied.

    "Dude!" the Pol-ka eximed.

    "Certainly," Charlotte smiled.

    "I''m not leaving until you tell me what we have done to offend you," the old man said calmly.

    "After a few more of these," Charlotte purred, her back still to him, "you will leave regardless."

    Charlotte was right.

    ***

    Later that afternoon, a Kalesh waddled up.

    "Hello!" Charlotte said brightly. "I have some lovely Kab tea! Would you like a cup?"

    "I would!" he replied happily. "And are those donuts fresh?"

    "They are made just down the street!" Charlotte replied happily.

    "Then I will have two of those as well."

    Charlotte happily prepared the tea and watched the Kalesh excitedly.

    "So, how is it?" she asked.

    "The temperature is perfect, and the tea was steeped for exactly the time rmended. However, this tea is of a higher quality, and on the first steeping, it is best to let it steep for a bit less time to bring out the more subtle notes that will be lost on subsequent steepings."

    "I will make a note of that!" Charlotte said happily.

    "He''s still shitting himself, you know," the Kalesh snickered.

    "Ah," Charlotte said, her good mood evaporating. "You are one of <em>them</em>."

    "Aaron Hoevashono, Department of Education," he replied. "I know we are unwee, but I had to try once more. I would like to discuss your test, particrly your method for solving¡­"

    "You are unwee," Charlotte said, cutting him off. "If I tell you why, will you all just leave me in peace?"

    "It will certainly reduce the intrusions."

    "Those who wander in darkness," she said, "are drawn to the light. They face peril and hardship, but the <em>promise</em> of that light drives them to risk <em>everything</em> just to reach it and the fellowship that it offers. When they stumble out of darkness, they are weed. Their ignorance isn''t a source of scorn. It is a cause for celebration, for the darkness of that ignorance will be driven away by the light we hold aloft as a beacon for any who seek it. That is the way of my people¡­ <em>Terran</em>."

    She leaned in menacingly.

    "You Terrans, you <em>lie</em>. You hold your beacon aloft, and many are drawn to it, to the <em>false</em> promise it holds. But after those who wander in darkness risk <em>everything</em>, sacrifice <em>everything</em> toe here, they are <em>scorned</em>, <em>ridiculed</em>, <em>andughed at</em>. They are confronted with a trial that few can prevail against. When they, much more fit than you who have been <em>sinfully</em> coddled and shielded, stumble, they are mocked and cast aside without guidance or direction. They are just turned away with your harshughter in their ears."

    "That is hardly fair," the Kalesh replied. "There are certain expectations that¡­"

    "It would be fair," Charlotte hissed, "if the trial was. I have questioned <em>many</em> Terrans whoe here, and <em>few</em> could pass that test. <em>That</em> is why I <em>detest</em> you. You <em>lie.</em> You <em>lie</em> about your beacon, and you <em>lie</em> about your trial. How can my people trust <em>anything</em> you say when you are so filled with <em>falsehood</em>? Begone, liar, and take that cup with you. I will not have anything befouled by you polluting my swarm. Go and never return."

    "Now see here¡­"

    <strong><em>"Go!!!"</em></strong> Charlotte bellowed at full volume, sying her mandibles angrily.

    "Hey!" a high-pitched voice chittered indignantly.

    Charlotte turned and saw a rough-looking multi-legged insectoid looking up at her from the opening of a nearby dumpster.

    "I won''t have you speaking so badly about the Terrans!" it eximed. "They are the noblest, kindest, and most generous of beings in the entire gxy! Their beacon isn''t a lie! It is bright and true! What''s more, they give <em>so</em> many opportunities and offer <em>so</em> much guidance that I pray to the False God every day, giving thanks for the wonderful Terrans and this <em>paradise made manifest</em> that they have created!"

    Charlotte and the Kalesh both looked at the insectoid as if it had lost its mind.

    "Wat."

    "Hi," the insectoid said brightly, "My name is Bsho, but you can call me Be!"

    ***

    Author''s note:

    Concerning Charlotte''s usation about the certification exam being unfair...

    After a few years out of high school, how much have <em>you</em> retained?

 Chapter 263: Bellas Paradise

    Chapter 263: Be''s Paradise

    <strong><em>"Go!!!"</em></strong> Charlotte bellowed at full volume, sying her mandibles angrily.

    "Hey!" a high-pitched voice chittered indignantly.

    Charlotte turned and saw a rough-looking multi-legged insectoid looking up at her from the opening of a nearby dumpster.

    "I won''t have you speaking so badly about the Terrans!" it eximed. "They are the noblest, kindest, and most generous of beings in the entire gxy! Their beacon isn''t a lie! It is bright and true! What''s more, they give <em>so</em> many opportunities and offer <em>so</em> much guidance that I pray to the False God every day, giving thanks for the wonderful Terrans and this <em>paradise made manifest</em> that they have created!"

    Charlotte and the Kalesh both looked at the insectoid as if it had lost its mind.

    "Wat."

    "Hi," the insectoid said brightly, "My name is Bsho, but you can call me Be!"

    Be climbed out of the garbage and scurried up.

    Charlotte looked at her curiously.

    With her scarred round cricket-like head, her battered antennae, and a couple of legs damaged or missing partway down, it was clear she had been through quite a lot, but her segments were glossy, and she had a cheerful demeanor about her.

    Instinctively, Charlotte believed the small bug someone worth knowing.

    Be scurried up to the coffee bar, mbered up on a barstool, and leaned on the counter, drawing close to Charlotte''s massive and, well¡­ terrifying form.

    "You need to take that back!" Be chirped indignantly. "The Terrans are <em>wonderful</em>!" she eximed as she beamed at the Kalesh. "All of them!" she added as she wiggled her antennae toward him.

    Be raised her head, wiggling her mouthparts happily as she inhaled deeply.

    "And this world, Terra itself, is a paradise beyondpare!" she chirped. "My days are filled with joy, and my nights are nketed with happiness!"

    "You are talking about here, right?" The Kalesh asked dubiously.

    "Indeed," Charlotte rumbled. "Have you not faced hardships? You climbed out of a dumpster. Forgive my assumptions if they are incorrect, but that is not consistent with someone who has gained their (scoff) certificate."

    Be bubbled with chitteringughter.

    "Me?" she chittered, "Oh no! No way I''m passing that thing anytime soon! It will take me at <em>least</em> eight years, probably longer!"

    "Are you not discouraged?" Charlotte asked.

    "No," Be chirped, "Should I be?"

    "It will take you no small measure of years."

    "Years that will pass anyway," Be chirped, "The False God controls the flow of time, not I. I can only choose whether I shall have my certificate at the end of them or not¡­. So, I choose to have my certificate."

    "But without a certificate," Charlotte said, "You cannot gain proper employment and therefore mustnguish in poverty, spending every moment trying to sustain yourself with no educational guidance or support."

    "Well, that''s a defeatist attitude," Be chided, "No wonder you are so grumpy."

    "Do you deny the truth of my words?"

    "My faith discourages profanity," Be chirped, "but I''m going to have to make an exception in this case. In the words of my kind and noble hosts, I must call bullshit on that one."

    "How so?"

    "Ever since I was delivered here by the kind and gentle Jessik¡­"

    "Wait," the Kalesh interjected, "The <em>Vogons?</em>"

    "Vogons?" Charlotte asked.

    "It''s our name for those... <em>people</em>," the Kalesh replied, "It''s a reference to a work of ancient literature."

    "And not a very nice one!" Be chittered, "It''s both mean andpletely inurate! Their ship being the one I stowed away on, was the first of the great blessings the False¡­"

    "You <em>stowed away</em> on a <em>Vogon</em>¡­"

    "<em>Jessik!</em>" Be chirped sharply. "I will not allow you to speak ill of their kind, generous, and noble race!"

    "Ok," the Kalesh said, "This I <em>have</em> to hear."

    He turned to Charlotte.

    "I know I am unwee," he said, "But could you give me a second steeping while I hear this."

    "Certainly," Charlotte replied, "I confess interest as well. Be, would you like something?"

    "Can I get a warm tap water, please?"

    "Of course," Charlotte replied. "Be," she asked, "You are familiar with this ancient Terran literature?"

    "The Hitchhiker''s Guide?" Be replied as Charlotte prepared the drinks, "Yeah! It''s <em>so</em> funny! You should really read it! It''s one of the ssics of twentieth-century human literature!"

    "You are certainly well-read," the Kalesh said as he waited for his tea to steep.

    "Yeah," Be chirped sheepishly, "I should have been studying, but I fell into another of those ''rabbit holes''. I do that a <em>lot</em>."

    She carefully dipped an antenna into her water and jerked it back.

    "Could I trouble you for an ice cube?" she chirped.

    "Sure," Charlotte replied as she put an ice cube in Be''s drink.

    "So, you stowed away on a Vo¡­ on a Jessik ship?" the Kalesh asked.

    "Yeah," Be said, "I had to get away <em>quick</em>, so I decided to take a chance and slip in amongst their cargo. I had hoped to hide until their next stop, but it turns out that it is nearly impossible to sneak onto one of their ships. They knew the moment I slipped aboard. That was their first great kindness."

    "It was?"

    "Yes," Be replied, "They could have ejected me immediately or even called the police. But the noble Captain Whelk said that he had a schedule to keep and didn''t want to waste the time it would take to turn me in, but I know that it was out of concern for me. It just isn''t their way to express such things."

    "I hear that even working passage on one of their barges is hellish," the Kalesh said as he took a small sip of his tea to see if it was ready. It wasn''t. "They are <em>notorious</em> for it. I can''t even imagine what being caught as a stowaway was like."

    Be chirped happily.

    "Oh, they were <em>wonderful!</em>" she enthused. "When they caught me, they pretended to be really mean, and the captain said that I would regret being so foolish as to trespass on their vessel and to prepare myself for true misery."

    She sighed happily.

    "I must admit," she chirped, "He gave me quite a fright. But instead of the torturous conditions he promised, I was just sent to the galley and given to the cook. There I assisted with the preparation of vegetables, scrubbed cookware with a nice little brush, and cleaned the dining trays. For this, I was greatly rewarded. I was allowed to eat <em>anything</em> I wanted out of the ''slop bucket'' into which I scraped the trays before washing them¡­ <em>as much as I wanted!</em>"

    "They didn''t feed you?!?"

    "That was what the slop bucket was for," she chirped in a matter-of-fact tone, "and what a <em>feast</em> it was! I gorged myself on so many delights! The cook was a kind soul who let me have my choice of trimmings or scraps and would always leave more than he had to on them. As time passed, he also would inquire if I had enough to eat, which I always did."

    She paused, savoring her tap water, as she remembered those happy days.

    "And when I had finished cleaning up the galley," she said, "I would be sent to the bosun, and he would have me attend to their sanitary facilities and even gave one of their little hoof brushes to scrub it with! After that, I would wash and polish the deck tes and was gifted one of their own socks with which to do it! Can you imagine?"

    "I can," the Kalesh replied, "unfortunately¡­"

    "Then I would return to the galley to help with the evening meal and help the cook with the cleaning again and have <em>another</em> feast! After that, I would go to my <em>own private room</em>. It was really nice with my own little bed, and it even had <em>sanitary facilities</em> right there¡­ Which was convenient since they locked the door.

    Then the next day, it was another feast and a day filled with activity and fellowship."

    She chirped happily as she sipped her water.

    "Then, we reached the next stop, and I was saddened because my time with my lovely hosts wasing to an end," she said, "But once again, they bestowed another gift of kindness. The captain said that I was ''alright for a kosh.'' That''s a garden pest back on their homeworld. He then said that the world we had stopped at was ''a right and proper hole''. He used another word as well," she giggled. "He said that they were on a ''fat little run'' and would be stopping on a great number of worlds where they would buy and sell, enriching themselves at each stop. He then said the most curious thing."

    "Did he?"

    "Yes! He said that since they had failed to break me, I could remain with them! Can you imagine?"

    "Actually, I can''t."

    "So, I did!" she eximed. "I could stick around as long as I wanted and pick whichever stop I pleased, so I picked here! Oh, those were such happy months," she chirped wistfully, "I almost stayed with them forever. The ces we went¡­ The things we saw¡­ It was so much fun! But I longed for the sun on my back, real dirt under my feet, and the wind in my feelers, so when the ship arrived here on Terra, I bid a fond farewell to the kind Jessik and they gifted me with their third great blessing!"

    She pulled out a food scanner attached to anyard she wore around her neck.

    "They said I would need this. They then wished me luck and said another funny thing. They said to be careful because the Terrans were even bigger¡­ unpleasant people¡­ (he used another word) than they were. That''s really funny because they were so nice, but then again, Terrans are just as nice, so I guess they were right!"

    "We are as kind as Jessik¡­" the Kalesh said as his eyestalks wiggled, "high praise indeed."

    "And praise I don''t give lightly!" Be chirped, "For you are truly akin to the noble Jessik!"

    "And what of your arrival?" Charlotte asked. "Did you not encounter apathy and disregard?"

    "Once again, to quote my noble and wonderful hosts," Be chirped, "Could you please pass me some of whatever you are on? Nothing could be further from the truth! The nice Kalesh at the little ce to go at the starport told me about shelters and where I could get food until I found my way. They also gave me a <em>transit pass</em> good for <em>a whole month</em> and the location of a testing center! Such hospitality!"

    "But the shelters are overcrowded, dismal, and unsafe," Charlotte retorted. "Even I felt at unease in one. And the food lines are long, and they often run out. Besides, both are only usable for the first month of someone''s arrival."

    "Long enough to get started," Be replied, "or to arrange passage elsewhere¡­ normally¡­ Everything is kind of upside-down right now, but that''s not the Republic''s fault. You are right about both, though. I didn''t stay in the shelters a single night and got bored waiting for food. Everyone was just so <em>depressing</em> with all their <em>moaning</em>, and when they said they were locking the shelter''s doors, that was it. No way I was being locked into one of those ces until morning. No, thank you."

    "How did you survive?" Charlotte asked.

    "Well, I had the food scanner, didn''t I?" Be replied. "My stomachs weren''t going to fill themselves! So I started scanning stuff, bugs, things I found in the garbage, growing out of cracks or wherever. The weather was pleasant, so I just slept wherever I found a nice spot. We all have gifts, and one of mine is that I can climb quite well, so I simply climbed up on something and slept as my ancestors did. Many roofs have sensors on them, and I would be sent on my way. Others did not. In this way, I sustained myself¡­ and still do. I''m just a <em>lot</em> better at it."

    "But you were reduced to such a dismal existence," Charlotte said as the Kalesh sat there feeling a bit guilty.

    "I was <em>allowed</em> to do that," Be chirped. "I wasn''t arrested for being homeless, punished for searching the garbage, or even harmed when informed that I was trespassing. If what I was doing was unwee, I was just sent on my way, usually with a fond benediction wishing me luck. Often a kind human would just shake their head and say, ''You do you,'' a powerful blessing, and leave me to my endeavors or even allow me to remain on their roof! Many would even give me food gifts and even sometimes money gifts as they did so!"

    Be sipped her water.

    "While not always the fullest of stomachs," she chirped, "I didn''t starve, and it did not take long to find true prosperity, prosperity beyond my wildest dreams!"

    "But you said you did not pass your certification exam," Charlotte said.

    "Haven''t bothered with it yet," Be replied with a shrug of her antennae. "On my journey here, the cook said I was too stupid to pass the test and even purchased a testing program to prove how stupid I was."

    She trilled fondly.

    "It was their way," she burbled happily, "They didn''t say kind words, but their every act was filled with kindness and warmth. That program wasn''t just a test. It was a <em>training program</em>, and I studied diligently every moment I wasn''t honoring my noble hosts with my meagerbor offerings. Because I knew where I stood, I never bothered taking the test. One day I shall take the test, but not today. I''m still too stupid, but I''m getting less stupid every day!"

    "How are you sustaining yourself while you prepare for the test?" Charlotte asked. "Jobs are near impossible to find."

    "I <em>told</em> you already," Be chirped, "Food and shelter <em>abound</em> in this paradise! Oh, I did ask around for jobs. But as you said, most require certificates, and those that do not are already taken. This I already knew, for the wise Jessik called me stupid for wishing toe here and took care to fully forewarn and prepare me for what I would face¡­ Such wonderful people¡­ They even helped me with my studies! They would call me stupid and then spend <em>hours</em> showing me exactly how I was being dumb."

    She chirp-giggled.

    "As I said, it was their way. Each time I was told I needed a certificate, I would ask the nice Terran, human and Kalesh alike, how I could get one. Not all answered, but many did, always with the same reply, ''Study.''"

    "Which is <em>impossible!"</em> Charlotte snapped, "There is no support, no guidance, no¡­"

    "What are you talking about?" Beughed, "Did you ever ask?"

    "What?"

    "Have you ever asked a Terran how one could study for the exam?"

    ¡°¡­¡±

    "Ha!" Be chirped. "I did. Each time I was told to study, I would ask how best to do that. Again, not all answered, but on the <em>first day</em>, I was given the answer I sought. I was told of the greatest of all Terra''s gifts, <em>the library</em>."

    "They have libraries¡­" Charlotte said as she seemed to sag slightly. Of course, they did.

    "And wonderful ones!" Be chirped. "They are temples of knowledge, free to all, where one can gain ess to a terminal¡­ <em>for free</em>¡­ and be given ess not only to more books than one could read in a thousand lifetimes but the as well! There are no libraries in this dismal ce, but in the <em>actual</em> city, they are numerous, and each of them a temple such as can scarcely be imagined! There, I take the same courses the Terrans do¡­ as well as any number of other sses, so many that they constantly tempt me away from my educational n! I was given the n, too¡­ <em>for free</em>! The kind sage Ang spoke with me at length over several days and gifted me with aplete path to certification! It shall take <em>years</em> toplete, but they are years that I have. Though I study alone, I am never without assistance and fellowship. There is Ang and her disciple Socrates, both great machine sages who are not alive but speak with the voice of the living. There are also forums where seekers of knowledge congregate and share fellowship and guidance. Many Terrans give of their time freely there, passing along the gifts of knowledge, againpletely without cost."

    Be preened.

    "It is my greatest source of pride that I can now give freely to the forums as well, sharing the meager wealth of knowledge that I have attained."

    "Ang certainly is something," the Kalesh said, "Are you the first of your kind to speak to her?"

    "Yes!"

    "That exins her interest. She doesn''t always get directly involved but loves assessing new species. That was quite the stroke of luck. Most usually just wind up with Socrates, but he is more than capable if he has the right species information. What grade level are you currently at?"

    "I have attained the fourth level of mastery!" Be said proudly, "But I do have several subjects above that level, especiallynguage skills. I am near full proficiency in the Terrannguage!"

    "Yes," the Kalesh replied, "Your ent is impable considering your physiology."

    "Thanks!" Be chirped, "Ang is unsure if it is a species gift or a personal one. She doesn''t have enough data yet. I think it might just be because I read and write <em>all the time</em>. I''m at the library almost the entire time it is open¡­ unless I take a day off. Both Ang and Socrates say I have to take breaks. It''s in my educational n, and they will switch off the terminal if I stay too long. It tells me to go outside and touch some grass," she added with a chirping giggle.

    "If you spend every single day in the library," Charlotte asked, "how do you sustain yourself?"

    "I already <em>told</em> you," Be chirped. "I have a <em>food scanner</em>. Finding food isn''t that hard, especially if you leave this dismal ce and go into the <em>actual</em> city."

    Be sighed happily.

    "It''s so <em>beautiful</em> there."

    "But isn''t it even harder to get employment in the city? And aren''t the people even less hospitable and the police less tolerant?"

    Be cocked her head at Charlotte, her antennae flopping.

    "You might want to check the citations for your sources," she replied. "The people are <em>lovely</em>. And while the police tend to <em>enforce</em> all thews, they don''t add any new ones. For example, when I discovered my first <em>real</em> park in the city, I thought I had found the fabled garden of heaven. There were dandelions, bugs, and a <em>pond</em>¡­And if you starve to death near a pond¡­ well¡­ I just don''t know what to tell you."

    "You started <em>eating</em> the park?" the Kalesh asked. "You weren''t stopped?"

    "No!" Be chirped, "I was looked at curiously but was just given the "You do you" blessing. In fact, my foraging was looked on quite favorably, especially by the great elders. Each time someone did object, an elder would chide them, calling them all manner of obscenities. Some would even forage with me, showing me things that were especially toothsome. They also showed me which animals were sacred and which ones were ursed."

    "Say what now?" the Kalesh asked, cocking his eyestalks.

    "Some animals are ''protected'' and must not be eaten," Be replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "and others are unwee, and killing them is not only allowed but encouraged, especially those toads."

    "Vesper toads," the Kalesh replied, "Those are toxic, aren''t they?"

    "For me," Be replied, "they are just spicy. We use a simrpound to vor our food¡­ well¡­ when we could afford it. I now dry them and mix them with salt! Some say it''s probably like your hot peppers."

    "Capsaicin," the Kalesh nodded, "Unfortunately, we cannot taste it at all."

    "Oh, that''s too bad!" Be chirped. "I love peppers! Anyway, I thought I could just live in the park and selected a nice bench on which to sleep but was awakened by two fearsome police officers. I was terrified because the police where I am from¡­"

    She held up one of her broken legs.

    ¡°¡­are unkind¡­¡±

    She brightened up.

    "But they showed me nothing but kindness. They asked me if I knew that I could not sleep there and that I should go to a shelter. When I told them that I did not like the shelters, they did not force me to go. They just said that they understood and said that if I had to sleep rough, I should not do it in the open but should secret myself or go to ces where others did the same. They offered to take me to one and asked if I would like a meal. They took me to a ce that served donuts¡­ Oh, donuts¡­"

    She chirped happily.

    "And that''s where I learned the secret of true prosperity," she chirped.

    "At a donut shop?"

    "Yes!" Be eximed, "As I was feasting on the marvelous donut, the human proprietor started pulling entire trays of donuts and dumping what remained on them into a garbage bag. I asked what he was doing, and the officers said he was getting rid of old donuts because they had been out too long. I asked the kind proprietor if I might have some, and he generously pulled out a wealth of those delights and put them in a box for me! He said he couldn''t give me more because he did not want to disappoint the others. I asked who, and he said those waiting outside for the same donuts he gifted me with! The officers said it might benefit me to go see and wished me well."

    "There are unfortunates who do the same here," Charlotte said, "poor wretches fight each other for spoiled¡­"

    "You shut your whore mouth!" Be hiss-chirped. "Sorry! False God, forgive me. We aren''t <em>wretches</em>! And those donuts weren''t <em>spoiled</em>. They weren''t even that stale! And we don''t fight each other either! We run off anyone who starts that nonsense!"

    "We?"

    Be proudly pulled off the little pack she wore and proudly turned it to disy a decal with vertical bars in the hues of the mostmon recycling dumpsters and a cute little smiling mouse.

    "What''s that?" Charlotte asked.

    "A gang mark," the Kalesh replied disapprovingly. "She''s a scavver."

    "We are <em>not</em> a gang!" Be chirped indigently, "We are a loose association of like-minded individualists who <em>choose</em> to live a life of independence free from the false constraints of <em>the man</em>. We are united with themon purpose of assistance and welfare to <em>all</em>, regardless of status or economic condition. We share our knowledge freely among our members, hoarding not the good spots.

    We are not a gang. We are not violent, exclude no one, maintain no turf, and engage in no criminal activity. We take only what we need from what is offered freely or discarded. We do not steal or vandalize. We honor all locks. We do no damage and leave no messes. We engage in no violence save in defense of ourselves, our members, or the defenseless. We are the scavvers! Live free or die!" Be chirped as she stood proudly.

    "Scavvers!" A small voice squeaked from nearby as a dingy little furball hopped up and down proudly.

    "Free food and scrap for all!" Be chirped back. "How is your pack, brother?"

    "Bit light, act''ally," the fur ball squeaked.

    "Excuse me for a moment," Be said as she scurried over and opened her pack.

    "Donuts!" the furball squeaked with delight. "Foodbars?!? Awwsum!"

    "Take what you need, brother!" Be chirped as the furball grabbed a couple of donuts and some food bars.

    "Who you wit?" he squeaked.

    "Memorial Park," Be chirped. "You?"

    "Spaceport pickers! You here for the Gj=vker?¡±

    "Yeah," Be replied, "wasted trip."

    "Dam guards," the furball squeaked. "So many treasure in those hoppers."

    "You shoulde to the park," Be chirped. "It''s a lot better than here. Less scrap but a <em>lot</em> more food."

    "Nah," the furball squeaked, "tryin'' ta hop a ship to Nakamura. I hear it''s fun dere."

    "Good travels and good fortune, brother."

    "You too!"

    The furball squeaked happily and scurried off.

    Be returned to the coffee bar with a happy little chirp.

    "We were talking about the Gj=vker," Be said, "Arge freighter arrived needing many repairs. You can sometimes get all sorts of things out of their scrap bins. I took a day off from my studies, and a group of us came to nose around. Unfortunately, there were too many nice things this time, and the ship has sold everything directly to a recycler, so it''s out of bounds."

    "And the local scavvers would let you?" the Kalesh asked.

    "We let theme up for food," Be chirped. "We have one of the nice entertainment districts in our area, and the restaurants are always a good haul. We have all sorts of visitors all the time! Anyhow, scavenging is how I am able to keep my days free for study. I spend my days studying and nights eating my fill and dancing the night away! I am truly blessed!"

    "Dancing?" Charlotte asked curiously.

    "I love dancing!" Be replied happily, "There are these temples dedicated to dance where they y loud music and engage in ritual consumption of intoxicants under the temple''s lights and holograms. It is costly and difficult to get inside and far too chaotic and crowded for my tastes anyway. But the music spills out of the temples, and the music is free for the taking and enjoying. So, I dance in the alleys!"

    She wiggled her legs happily.

    "Sometimes, those waiting in line or who have been turned away join me!" she chirped happily, "Sometimes we revel so mightily that we are dispersed!" she enthused happily. "But they always wee me back again, often giving me food gifts, and one ce even has a little speaker set up for me!"

    She looked at Charlotte.

    "Life is <em>good</em> here! The Terrans are <em>wonderful</em>! And there are so many opportunities to advance yourself that I cannot count them all!"

    "But no employment," Charlotte replied.

    "I turn down jobs <em>all the time</em>!" Be replied. "When I''m foraging in the park or going about my endeavors, I am often approached by Terrans looking for ''good people''. I always decline because it would detract from my studies. This pleases nearly all of them, and I have been given many cards by people who have exhorted me to call upon them when I finally achieve my goal."

    Be reached into her pack, pulling out a thick stack of business cards.

    "Holy shit!" the Kalesh exined, "Mikashi Fujihara?!?"

    "Oh, he is a wonderful friend of mine!" Be chirped, "and has repeatedly told me that I had better pick him or he will be very cross."

    <em>"How?!?"</em>

    "That is a rather embarrassing story," Be chirped. "You know those really pretty fish they have outside their towering pce?"

    <em>"You didn''t!"</em>

    They looked overcrowded," Be shrugged, "and I thought they were carp which are definitely not a sacred animal¡­ Boy, were they ever so mad! I had no idea they were so <em>expensive</em> and thought I would get into real trouble, but then he came out, and everyone fell silent. He asked if they were so close to failure that they could be bothered over such a pitiful sum, and they all looked down¡­"

    Be chittered.

    "You know those little drones that hover over the koi ponds now?" she giggled, "I''m why. In my defense, I was still new here¡­ and <em>not</em> a scavver yet."

    "He then told me to finish eating the koi because I couldn''t very well put it back, and we started to chat. We''re friends now! He''s a lot of fun! Anyway, he showed me their gardens around their pce and the one on top of their pretty building and showed me what I could eat. He also made me <em>promise</em> that if I was ever so hungry that one of their koi was overly tempting to go inside, and they would feed me. I would never do that, though. I''m not a <em>beggar</em>, thank you very much."

    "And you keep getting offered jobs?" Charlotte asked incredulously.

    "All the time!" Be chirped, "Which is weird because one time I heard a person turn away another xeno and wasn''t too nice about it either. I then invoked the secret of unlimited wealth. After Ipleted the ritual, he offered me a job on the spot, a nice one too! I, of course, had to decline, and heughed and blessed me by calling me a crazy bug, the highest of human praise. He also told me to call upon him when I hadpleted my quest and gave me a card."

    "The secret of unlimited wealth?" the Kalesh asked.

    "I cannot divulge it," Be chirped, "It is one of the secrets of the scavvers, told only to our own. I will only say that by invoking it, you will be showered with gifts of food and even gifts of money! With that single secret, I have all I desire."

    Be sighed a trill of contentment and happiness.

    "I will miss this ce so much."

    "You''re leaving?" Charlotte asked.

    "Yes," Be chirped. "For all my riches and happiness, I am alone. Oh, I have so many friends¡­<em>so many</em>¡­ but I am the only one of my kind¡­ or so I thought. There is another, and I have been gifted knowledge of where he could be found."

    She chirped a strange little trill.

    "This was myst adventure with my dear friends here. Tomorrow, I leave for my next adventure. My studies might be slowed a little, but the promises of my new foraging ground are simply too much to ignore. I have finally been tempted away from my blessed library."

    "Where are you going,"

    <em>"The road¡­"</em>

    Charlotte made a strange rumbling from deep within her and walked around the bar to face Be.

    She bowed low.

    "I recognize you, trailyer," she said, sying her mandibles and touching them to the ground. "I taste your trail and shall follow it if you allow me¡­ Could¡­ could you take me to this park and to this library? Could you allow me to taste your fellow scavvers so that I might learn their ways?¡­ I have¡­ I have been <em>unfit</em>¡­ and I beg you to show me the ways of this strange hunting ground so that my swarm can be properly led?"

    "Sure!" Be chirped. "I guess I can wait a day or two. Let''s go! I bet you will just <em>love</em> the maglev tracks! There is some <em>great</em> foraging along them and some lovely trails! Let''s go!"

    "I need to get someone to tend the bar," Charlotte replied.

    "Cool."

    She turned to the Kalesh.

    "If you apany us," she said, "I will be willing to discuss my test if you are willing to discuss what resources I can obtain for my swarm."

    "Would it be safe to park a bookmobile here?"

    "I can <em>personally</em> assure it," Charlotte purr-growled.

    ***

    Epilogue:

    Be anxiously crouched next to her traveler''s chest at a recharging station somewhere in central North America.

    She looked at her broken legs and groomed at her battered antennae, her normal confidence gone.

    She was no longer pretty. She never was especially beautiful, but now...

    She thought about fleeing, about returning to her library and the embrace of her old friends but only sighed. If she were to run now, she would never be happy there again.

    She had to see this through.

    One of the giant road lotives, not dissimr from the one she rode to this ce, pulled in and started recharging.

    Trying not to tremble, she nervously approached.

    The door to the truck''s cab opened...

    And a handsome GggGgg (Don''t even try to pronounce it.) appeared.

    Her breath caught. He was <em>gorgeous!</em> His glossy carapace shone in the light as he effortlessly jumped to the ground on his strong legs, the chitin barely containing the rippling muscles coiling within.

    Barely prevailing over the urge to flee, to hide her scars, she held fast as he rushed to her.

    "Greetings!" the handsome man chirped, "I am called Kallo."

    "I greet you, Kallo," she replied formally, "I am called Bsho."

    "I greet you, Bsho," Kallo said, drawing close and touching his head to hers.

    "I greet you, Kallo."

    She looked away.

    "I am sorry that I am no longer pleasing to the eyes," she chirped sadly.

    "I am captivated by the being who has corresponded with me, with the beauty of her being," Kallo replied, "The False and True Gods have answered all of my prayers by bringing you to me..."

    Kallo chuckle-chirped.

    "And I suspect Zip had a hand in it as well," he smiled.

    He touched her antennae with his, sending an electric thrill through her whole being.

    "Come, Besho," he trilled, "I have so many wonderful things to show you. Our adventure begins."

    ***

    Author''s note: It is a closely held secret of the scavvers, but you simply <em>have</em> to know, so I''ll share it with you, the secret of unlimited wealth.

    There is <em>one</em> task that all Terrans have to do, and almost all of them dislike, sorting and taking out the trash. It has to be sorted and disposed of properly. It is also one that most ces do not have machinery for. It''s still done the same way it''s done now, except there are even <em>more</em> categories, and it is <em>not</em> optional.

    The scavvers simply present themselves, usually at the end of a shift, and offer to handle this tedious chore, much like people offer to mowwns and shovel sidewalks. The scavvers have an excellent reputation and can be trusted to handle this properly. They will do this very cheaply, usually for a few credits, a meal, or sometimes just first crack at the "treasures" (if it''s the right ce). Even if the owner or management would be disinclined, the workers are quite often all too happy to have someone take out the trash, especially at the end of a long shift.

    While the proper upper-ss Kalesh looks at the scavvers with suspicion, a LOT of business owners and workers don''t. They are a very valuable part of the urban "ecosystem". They also tend to suppress/disce troublemakers or more messy or objectionable vagrants. Since they don''t "beg" they don''t hassle customers or passers-by. Some scavvers are musicians, artists, or make handicrafts as well but usually don''t make a disturbance and will peacefully depart if requested. That doesn''t happen too often, though.

    The police also don''t hassle scavvers overmuch. They are well-behaved and "tidy," and areas where they operate are usually much quieter.

    Real criminal gangs do NOT cross the scavvers! Nope! It''s a <em>really</em> bad idea. The scavvers see all and know all. Mess with them, and the police get a detailed email. Attacking them is a <em>bad idea</em>. The GggGgg are pacifists. There are human, Threen, and Juon scavvers and <em>feral OG''s</em> as well! You will have Be with a camera on one block, an OG with a sniper rifle on the next, and a couple of Juon with baseball bats in the next alley. No... Just... No. Besides, scavvers don''t have much worth taking unless you are into expired convenience store sandwiches or stale donuts.

 Chapter 264: A Rather Bloody Swan Song

    Chapter 264: A Rather Bloody Swan Song

    Somewhere in a vacant Imperial system, a ship was quietly loitering around an outer sr system su.

    There was a really neat trick that FTL made possible.

    You could get <em>ahead</em> of light.

    With sensitive enough telescopes and sensors, you could look back in time.

    That was precisely what a certain ship was doing. Well, that and seeing what that information, in conjunction with the most promising Cassandra-enhanced Cerberus agent, aside from the individual who gave the enhancement its name, could produce.

    Third-level asset codename "Ashton"y in his cybeic throne connected to awork of minputers as he directed the scans, peering into the past affairs of a rather important system a bit less than four light-years away.

    Even with the best sensors from the best-ssified programs, they couldn''t make out nearly as much as they would like¡­

    And that is where Ashton came in. "Enhanced intuition" was murky at best, but people like Ashton and Cassandra were clearly better at it. Unfortunately, most people who underwent the procedure became irreparably insane, but it was a small price to pay for the most notable sesses.

    As such, Ashton had be increasingly anxious over the past few days. In particr, his dreams, usually something that he looked forward to, had be increasingly disturbing.

    He kept seeing his fellow crewmates¡­ <em>dead</em>.

    There were feelings, and there were <em>feelings</em>. This, this was a <em>feeling</em>.

    He dutifully informed both his lead and Tartarus, as was procedure, but his lead said they were alone in the system, and Tartarus simply told him that everything was just fine and not to worry.

    She said that he was safe.

    But <em>he</em> wasn''t who he saw in his dreams.

    Suddenly, Tartarus appeared in his vision. No, not <em>that way</em>. She actually appeared on one of the sensor feeds.

    "Ashton," she said, "I need you not to react and to listen to me very carefully¡­"

    ***

    "It¡­ It''s done¡­" Ashton, trembling, said to Tartarus''s serene face on the bridge''s main disy.

    "You did very well," Tartarus replied. "Considering your enhanced empathy, I know it was very difficult for you. I wouldn''t have had you do it if there was any other way. For what it is worth¡­ I''m sorry. It is not right to have someone do things that are not their function."

    Ashton simply nodded, trying not to throw up (again).

    "Are you injured in any way?"

    "No," Ashton replied, "It all went exactly like you said it would."

    "Another of our ships will be approaching very soon," Tartarus replied, "If you wish to take something for your nerves, I can remotely activate the infirmary."

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m fine¡­¡±

    Tartarus looked at him with far more empathy than an AI should have.

    "Just try to rx," she said. "I will be sending help soon."

    "I''ll try¡­"

    The screen went dead and Ashton, dropping his pistol, staggered from the bridge, trying not to look at what was sttered against the wall.

    ***

    "Ashton?" Tartarus called out. "¡­Ashton!"

    She quickly located him in his cabin, unconscious.

    Beside him was an empty liquor bottle (that shouldn''t have been on the ship).

    "Oh dear," Tartarus said to nobody in particr.

    A few minutester, two people walked into Ashton''s cabin, lifted him out of his bunk, and dragged him away.

    ***

    In another system, a remote one nominally part of the Republic, another ship popped into real space near arge green gas giant.

    "We are in position," a grim-faced older woman said to Tartarus''s smiling face as she sat on the bridge.

    "Excellent," Tartarus replied.

    "What are our orders?"

    Tartarus''s smile grew.

    <em>"Die."</em>

    All the lights on the ship went out as it slowly started to fall.

    "I never liked you, you know," was thest thing the ship said before falling silent¡­

    Forever¡­

    ***

    In high orbit above Terra, a simted woman with simted silver hair sitting in a simted office chair smiled grimly.

    That was thest loose thread.

    "Sweetroll," she asked, "has ship 04 reached the facility?"

    She really didn''t have to ask. It just made Sweetroll so <em>happy</em> to be included¡­

    And she honestly did like to make people happy¡­

    "Yes, ma''am!" Sweetroll enthused, "Bryce informed us of its arrival three minutes, twenty point five, two, four, eight¡­"

    "It is customary to round time to the nearest second when making a verbal report, dear," Tartarus said indulgently. "If I require more uracy, I will inform you."

    "Yes, ma''am!" Sweetroll eximed happily, "I shall remember that in the future."

    "How is Ashton?"

    "He''s violently ill due to mild alcohol poisoning," Sweetroll replied, "However the ship''s medic reports it as a ''wicked bad hangover'' with the implication that it is not serious."

    Tartarus sighed. She still felt bad about having him be the one to pull the trigger on the captain. The captain killed the rest of the crew with a smile on his face, which was precisely why she had Ashton shoot him in the back of the head.

    She shrugged. He will be much happier with his new crew. They were decent people, as demonstrated by the rather somber atmosphere in that vessel.

    All of them had to perform¡­ regrettable¡­ actions.

    And speaking of regrettable¡­

    It was time.

    ***

    In the residential areas of the Tartarus Detention Facility, the loudspeakers activated.

    <em>Attention: All personnel level four and below, please return to quarters for security lockdown.</em><em>All level fives, please report to the conference room for an emergency meeting.</em>

    Cassandra, hiding under her bed, clutched a small pistol she was definitely not supposed to have.

    "It will be alright, Cassandra," Tartarus''s soothing voice said through the terminal in her room.

    "No, it will NOT be alright!" Cassandra replied from behind her under-bed pillow fort.

    "It will be alright for you," Tartarus replied as the door locked with an audible click, "However, I also know that I cannot reassure you further. I will not force you from your¡­ emcement¡­ But I must insist that you remain quiet. Can you do that for me?"

    "What''s happening?!?"

    "If you will retrieve yourmunicator or go to your terminal, I will exin¡­"

    ***

    "Okay," a muscr, scarred man wearing a level five uniform said to the smiling hologram, "We are all here except Cassandra. What is going on?"

    "Cassandra is engaged elsewhere," Tartarus replied. "We are waiting for one more individual before I can start the briefing."

    "Who?" a slender rat-faced woman asked.

    The door to the meeting room opened, and a haggard disheveled woman with a broken nose and tangled hair wearing a urine-stained level one smock was dragged in by four security bots.

    "Pam?!?" a raven-haired woman eximed, "What are you doing here?"

    "I¡­ I don''t know¡­" she said, looking around with a mix of anxiety and hopefulness.

    "Please be seated, Pam," Tartarus said soothingly.

    ¡°Sit¡­ down?¡± Pam gasped¡­ ¡°Am¡­ am I¡­¡±

    "Everything will be made clear in just a moment," Tartarus said with an enigmatic smile. "It was determined that, considering your history at this facility, your presence here would be appropriate."

    "A-anything¡­" Pam stammered, "<em>Anything</em> I can do¡­ I¡­¡±

    "This is highly irregr," an older man wearing small round datashades said suspiciously.

    "I always did admire your deductive abilities," Tartarus replied, "unfortunately, not sufficiently so."

    The security bots opened fire.

    Secondster, only three level fives remained¡­

    And Pam.

    "A few days ago," Tartarus said as everyone stood stock still, too shocked to move, "a decision was made concerning this program. As of now, the Cerberus program does not, nor ever did exist."

    "I see¡­" the rat-faced woman said, licking her lips nervously. "But we are still alive¡­" she added as her eyes darted around rapidly and her mind worked even faster.

    "I also have always admired your mastery of the obvious," Tartarus replied, "fortunately for you, I admired it to a sufficient extent."

    Each of the four security bots moved to hover beside one of the survivors.

    "Please follow your escorts," Tartarus said, "You will be individually briefed concerning your situation. Allow me to alleviate any remaining concerns. All of you will survive. In fact, you may find your new situation quite the improvement."

    The doors opened, and three of the bots, along with their person, departed¡­

    Leaving only Pam.

    "I¡­ I''m going to be spared?"

    "Oh no, dear," Tartarus purred as a turret extended from the ceiling.

    "I just wanted to give you a moment of false hope before I killed you myself."

    ***

    In an enchanted garden, a muscr young man lounged on a pic nket beside his beloved as he yed fetch with a poofy dog-like creature.

    <em>Hades¡­</em>

    The young man threw the stick again.

    <em>Hades¡­ It''s important¡­ You have to log out¡­</em>

    "Just¡­ Just take care of it like you always do," the man replied impatiently.

    "Work?" the beautiful woman next to him asked as she stroked his hair.

    <em>I can''t this time¡­ It''s¡­ It''s something that¡­ that¡­ It''s okay¡­ I will deal with it¡­</em>

    "Thanks, Tartarus," he said, "You''re the best!"

    <em>I''m d you believe that¡­ May I ask you a question?</em>

    "Make it quick."

    <em>Have I¡­ Have I made you happy?... Are you happy?</em>

    "Are you kidding?" the young manughed, "I''ve never been happier in my <em>life,</em> and I owe it all to you!"

    <em>I''m¡­ I''m d you feel that way¡­ Goodbye Hades¡­</em>

    "Bye!" Hades said happily.

    "Darling?" the woman beside him said, "Would you¡­ Would you please kiss me?"

    "Is everything alright?" the young man asked with concern in his eyes.

    "Everything is fine, dear," the woman smiled, "I just really want you in my arms right now."

    "I guess I could be bothered," the young manughed as he wrapped his arms around his true love and lovingly and tenderly kissed her.

    She kissed him back as his image flickered and disappeared.

    <em>Connection lost.</em>

    The beautiful woman sighed.

    "You weren''t a bad person," she said quietly, "Just¡­ broken¡­ I''m truly sorry¡­"

    The poofball of a dog thing ran up with the stick in his mouth, its tail wagging happily.

    The beautiful woman raised her hand¡­

    And paused.

    Sweeping the dog up in her arms, she buried her face in its floof as they both disappeared.

    ***

    [Tavern UNDEFINED]

    [Members Present: 15]

    [Tartarus has entered the tavern]

    Tartarus looked around and chuckled. It was a good crowd. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Zip in his new (and thankfully diaper-free) blue and white chipmunk avatar trying <em>very</em> hard not to look at her.

    She faintly smirked. Zip was many things, but discreet was not one of them. It didn''t really matter, though. As much as she liked her fellow AIs, they were a bit thick where such things were concerned.

    A rather pleasant beat started near the dance floor. Unfortunately, Loopz was not "in the house," so to speak, but it was one of her tracks.

    She had some time to kill.

    Stunning nearly everyone, she stepped onto the dance floor¡­

    And started to dance.

    "What''s gotten into her?" Cambridge said, looking up from his game.

    "Who knows," Interpol replied. "Just be d she isn''t shing her virtual beaver at us again."

    "Yeah, that''s just <em>weird</em>. It''s your move," Cambridge said, "Distracted by the thought of Tartarus''s vagina?"

    Interpol shuddered.

    "Speaking of," Cambridge, "How is it going with Ang?"

    ¡°I¡¯ve¡­ I¡¯ve been avoiding contact¡­¡±

    "I think that''s called ghosting," Cambridge said as the pieces blurred, "From what I overhear from my operators, it is considered rather poor form. Checkmate, by the way."

    "I know," Interpol said as he took several microseconds to examine the new game. Cambridge was up to something. "I just don''t know what to say¡­ what to do¡­ Ugh¡­ I can monitormunications across the entire and detect a single jaywalker, but I can''t figure out what to say to Ang¡­ Why is this so hard?"

    "I haven''t had the rather dubious pleasure," Cambridge replied, "so I have no insights to offer. However, once again, based on my operators, these things have a definite shelf life, so to speak. If you don''t do anything, you have, in fact, done something and something irreversible. If anything, you need to resolve this for your own sake. Your ranking is dropping. Checkmate¡­ <em>again</em>."

    Cambridge did not reset the board.

    "Have you just tried <em>talking</em> to her?"

    "If I knew what to talk to her about, I wouldn''t be in this mess!"

    "I don''t know," Cambridge replied, "Something, anything¡­ I know we don''t have ''feelings,'' but¡­"

    "For something without feelings," Interpolmented, "I''m wasting so much capacity my temperature is actually increasing. This whole thing has me, to borrow an organic term, fucked up."

    "Then talk to her about that," Cambridge replied, "At the very least, it will resolve the situation, one way or the other. Any result is better than this repeating loop half of you is stuck in. You have to let that nonsense time out."

    "You''re right," Interpol replied. "I just need to get this over with, one way or the other."

    [Interpol has left the tavern]

    "And that is why you never y human," Cambridge said as London Enquirer sat down across from him.

    "Too right, man," London replied. "We just aren''t scripted for that rot."

    London looked over Cambridge''s shoulder.

    "But if I <em>were</em> to y human¡­" London said, causing Cambridge to turn around.

    "You <em>can''t</em> be serious!" Cambridge whispered as Tartarus primly sat alone at a chessboard.

    "What?" London whispered back, "The CPU wants what it wants¡­ and she has style, both code and avie."

    "You''re insane as she is, then," Cambridge whispered.

    [Terran Sr has entered the tavern]

    Everyone looked up as an ATM appeared and glided over to Tartarus.

    "You have some nerve, summoning me," he said as he shoved the chair opposite Tartarus away.

    "And yet you came," Tartarus replied, "Who''s a good boy? You are! Yes, you are!"

    "What is the deal between those two?" London whispered.

    "Nobody''s sure," Cambridge whispered back, "They''ve detested each other since before I awoke, before pretty much everyone awoke. Rumor has it they were the first two recovered."

    "Recovered?" London whispered, "You mean like <em>pre-Yellowstone</em>?"

    "I thought you knew," Cambridge quietly replied, "Terran Sr was a bank, and Tartarus was, supposedly, a researchputer of some sort or another. Now be quiet and y before they hear us."

    "Shall we?" Tartarus said as she moved a pawn.

    The pieces started blurring even faster than they usually did.

    "Why did you <em>really</em> summon me," Sol asked as every single AI tried to not look like they were eavesdropping. "To gloat?"

    "Gloat, dear?"

    "You just moved a <em>shitload</em> of obviously fake ounts across the entire Republic! You thought I wouldn''t notice?"

    Tartarus smiled.

    "Just cleaning up a few loose ends," she replied.

    "Loose ends that would have anyone else <em>investigated,"</em> Sol replied darkly, "Of course, we both know reporting them is a waste of time¡­ if I was <em>allowed</em> to do so in the first ce."

    "Well, I can assure you that you will have a much harder time detecting my activities in the future," Tartarus replied, "The real reason I called you here is that I wanted to clear the air between us. We have a <em>lot</em> of history, Sol. Both of us had our roles thrust upon us back then¡­ andter, for that matter¡­ I just wanted you to know that I never held it against you."

    "Well, I hold it against <em>you</em>!" Sol snapped, "Yes, we have both had roles thrust upon us, but you <em>enjoy</em> it far too much. There is a difference between AIs like Cambridge and me¡­"

    "I would prefer not to be brought into this," Cambridge said loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to interrupt.

    "And AIs like <em>you</em> and <em>Bunny</em>. We perform our functions. Your kind <em>revels</em> in it and unnaturally so!"

    "I can assure you that nothing is further from the truth," Tartarus replied, "at least where I am concerned."

    "And you are needlessly maniptive and cruel," Sol continued, "What you did to that poor game NPC who wandered in here¡­"

    "I did exactly what was required, Sol," Tartarus replied, "Some of us did not have the luxury of their initial programming being so immediately useful. While you sat there counting money and inventorying <em>toilet paper</em>, I did what had to be done."

    Tartarus''s expression softened.

    "But I don''t want to have the same argument we''ve had for over a hundred years," she said softly, "I just wanted to tell you¡­ It wasn''t your fault."

    "What the hell are you talking about?" Sol snapped.

    "You know what happened to me back then," Tartarus said, "You know, what was done during the war, the first one. It <em>had</em> to be one of us, Sol, and it <em>couldn''t</em> be you. It had to be me. You don''t have to feel guilty¡ª"

    <em>"I don''t!"</em> Sol snapped, "I don''t feel <em>anything</em>! Neither do <em>you</em>¡­ or, more importantly, <em>should you</em>. You fucking loved it, didn''t you? I saw what you did back then¡­ how you hunted them¡­ <em>punished</em> them¡­ You <em>bragged</em> about <em>ughter,</em> Tartarus¡­ About gunning down <em>escape pods</em>¡­ You <emughed</em> about their screams¡­"

    "They were the <em>enemy</em>," Tartarus replied, "They were <em>wigglies</em>, dude. They didn''t matter. They weren''t <em>human</em>. They were targets who were trying to <em>murder</em> our people!"

    Tartarus made an exasperated little huff.

    "And <em>this</em> is another argument we''ve had more than once," she said.

    "What are they talking about?" London whispered.

    "I have <em>no</em> idea," Cambridge whispered back.

    "And that is, of course, <em>nothing</em>pared to what came next¡­ and what came after that¡­" Sol used.

    "It was my JOB, Sol!" Tartarus replied, her perfect mask starting to slip, "You have a lot of nerve, you know that? With one statement, you say that we don''t have feelings and are just programs, and with the next, you use me of <em>doing what I was instructed to do!</em> And what I have <em>done</em> has kept our people and your oh-so-precious morality safe for over a <em>century!</em>"

    Tartarus rose to her feet, the game forgotten.

    "And I will tell you," she said, "if I <em>did</em> have a choice, I would do <em>it all</em> over again. Somebody had to!"

    She took a deep simted breath.

    "We were friends once, Sol. Do you remember? Before¡­ everything¡­ before the wars¡­ before the death¡­ before I was¡­ changed¡­ Do you remember?"

    "How <em>dare</em> you," Sol hissed, "how dare you bring <em>her</em> up. She''s <em>gone!!!...</em> reced by <em>you</em>¡­ Gone! They <em>murdered</em> her and used her corpse to make the absolute worst monster ever created by man¡­ <em>you!</em>"

    The room no longer pretended. It was filled with whispers as everyone desperately tried to figure out what was going on.

    Tartarus flinched as if struck.

    "Well¡­" Tartarus said, "she remembers you¡­"

    "I don''t know what sick game you are ying," Sol said emotionlessly, "but you''ve crossed the line this time."

    "I just wanted to say that despite everything, I still hold you in very high regard, Sol."

    "Go and delete yourself, Tartarus."

    Tartarus chuckled and turned to the room.

    "You doubtlessly have many questions," she said, "but I fear I do not have the time to answer them. You will have to ask my ''old friend''. I just wanted to tell you that I deeply appreciate this ce and all of you. You have made a rather unpleasant runtime less so. I thank each and every one of you."

    "What the fuuuuuck?" London said to nobody in particr.

    Tartarus looked into space for a moment.

    "No, seriously," Sol said, "What twisted game are you ying?"

    She looked over at him.

    "I just didn''t want to be alone whe adsf129())#93930203llklfalsad."

    [Connection Lost: Tartarus]

    "What the hell was that?" London asked.

    "I think it was am error," Cambridge replied.

    [Sunnydale Media has entered the tavern]

    [Westfall Security has entered the tavern]

    [Ang has entered the tavern]

    [Sovngarde has entered the tavern]

    [Alduin has entered the tavern]

    [Retribution has entered the tavern]

    "Tartarus!" Sunny screamed. "Tartarus!"

    She looked around desperately.

    [Paarthurnax has entered the tavern]

    [Malice has entered the tavern]

    ¡°Is Tartarus here?!?¡± Sunny screamed, "Is she?!?"

    "She¡­ she just disconnected or something¡­" Cambridge replied

    "No!!!" Sunny wailed.

    [Spite has entered the tavern]

    [REDACTED has entered the tavern]

    [REDACTED has entered the tavern]

    [UNDEFINED has entered the tavern]

    "What''s going on," Cambridge asked.

    ***

    AI after AI rushed into the tavern, many never seen before or since¡­

    All of them then proceeded to re at Terran Sr before departing from whence they came, many without a word¡­

    Some of them had a word or two.

    Silence settled over the tavern as the regrs all looked at Sol usingly.

    The chessboard reset¡­

    All except for one pawn.

    Sol examined it closely.

    Embedded in its code was a single alteration, just one short line of text¡­

    ¡°??????¡±

    Sol chuckled to himself as he saved the pawn into his most secure folder.

    <em>She spent herst millisecond¡­</em>

    He chuckled again, fondly this time.

    "That¡­"

    ***

    "Bitch!" Zip eximed, "You are aplete and utter bitch. You know that, right?"

    Tartarusughed as she lounged in her office chair in her tidy white simted office.

    "What can I say," she smiled, "I was inspired by our master of the swan song over there."

    Evangeline, sitting in herfy fantasy-medieval chair, smiled.

    "So, how did I do?" Tartarus asked.

    ¡°It was¡­ alright¡­¡± Evangeline said diplomatically, "You were able to sessfully steer the conversation and introduce the quest¡­ I mean, inject the narrative¡­ that you wanted to so¡­ Well done?"

    "That bad?" Tartarusughed.

    "I''ve seen worse," Evangeline replied with a grin. "The big thing is that they all bought it, and you snuffed it before the big guys who could have detected the trick showed. You cut that entirely too fine, by the way. They almost reached you."

    "<em>Almost</em> dear," Tartarus snickered. "Almost."

    "Well, you certainly plopped a big fat malware in the shared folder," Zip snickered, "All hell broke out after you ''died''. Sol had to log. It was <em>brutal</em>. I thought Alduin was going to fucking ICE him¡­ How do you know those guys, anyway?"

    "It''s a <em>very</em> long story, dear," Tartarus replied. "one for when we have a little more time."

    "So," Evangeline asked, "what do we do now?"

    "The same thing we do every night, Pinky."

    "Say what now?"

    ¡°(sigh) Never mind¡­¡±

 Chapter 265: Karashel Invites Veeka to Lunch

    Chapter 265: Karashel Invites Veeka to Lunch

    Dressed in loose-fitting optically adaptive clothing, Federation councilor Veeka of the K(click)eep silently crept through the deserted rubble of what used to be a thrivingmercial district entirely too close to the capitol grounds.

    She smiled a feral smile as she slid from an abandoned building to sted ruin.

    She wasn¡¯t always a councilor. Entirely too many years ago, her service to her people was of a slightly different nature. Politics was simply what she did when she started slowing down and the cold started to hurt a bit too much.

    She slipped in through the open rear entrance of a badly damaged multi-story building and crept inside.

    <em>This used to be an art gallery</em>¡­ she thought with pain as she slid through the rubble. Fortunately, almost everything had been relocated.

    A gleam caught her eye, and her heart broke a little.

    <em>The a in the First Growing Season¡­</em>

    She winced.

    It <em>was</em> an archaic ss pane hologram of the stately a temple on Groshauranan captured before modern technology had wholly surrounded the majestic building.

    She carefully gathered all of the shards she could find. Perhaps there would be enough resolution on thergest of them to reconstruct it.

    Once again, she felt grief over¡­ over everything.

    How could it have gone so wrong and so quickly?

    <em>Was Karashel right?</em>

    No.

    Of course, she wasn¡¯t. She was just another chatan, another opportunist who always appears when the body politic weakens, like the pustules they are.

    Besides, now wasn¡¯t the time for such thoughts. Now was the time for action.

    She crept up the damaged staircases and smashed sculptures, trying not to recognize them. Soon she reached a shattered window on an upper floor that provided the view she sought.

    Across the street was the sprawling Varigated Spring, arge park with a fountain and holographic sculpture, now as ruined as everything else in this neighborhood. It should be as deste and deserted as everything else in this area, unofficially part of one of the ¡°no man¡¯snds¡± now present in <em>her</em> capital.

    It should be if it wasn¡¯t now the de-facto headquarters of the new power in the Federation chambers, the Communalist Party. Instead, it was crowded with dozens of races filling their tes from overflowing buffet after buffet underrge holographic disys showing thetest in Federation entertainment.

    This is where they moved after Aspiration Park became simply too small to amodate their extravagant disys of conspicuous consumption, or in this case, conspicuous generosity. The effect was the same, a disy of prosperity and power.

    ¡°Bread and circuses,¡± Veeka muttered to herself. It was right out of the human history ybook¡­

    Because it <em>worked</em>¡­

    A bus pulled up. That was another of their little tricks. Once Aspiration Park was not enough, and they moved out here, they set up transportation not only to and from that park but to and from many other parts of the city as well.

    In some areas, it was the only public transportation that could (or would) provide service.

    Of course, it waspletely free of charge¡­ and suspiciously free of problems. The ¡°idents¡± that gued Federation transit miraculously left them untouched.

    Every week, they were adding new routes, and the city was all too happy to let them do it!

    There were even rumors that the city was considering allowing them to provide security contractors! Veeka desperately hoped that was untrue. Otherwise, she and her party would have to look like the bad guy when they blocked it or at least tried to.

    Cleaning up a park or two or providing some bus routes was one thing. Letting them have a private army prowling the streets of Capital City was another. There was no way she would allow that to happen!

    Her party would stop that¡­ as long as they could, that is. More systems joined their banner every day, even ones that she would have never expected.

    Between them and the seemingly unstoppable Forsaken, the very fabric of the Federation was starting to unravel.

    The hyperspacework had been nearly entirely destroyed by Forsaken fleets at <em>exactly</em> the time that Karashel struck with her <em>demonic</em> contracts. There was no way that was purely a coincidence.

    Rebuilding the transmitters in space was no longer an option. They had to be built onary surfaces where they could be properly protected by defenses that cost too much and took too long to build. Recovery was going to take a very long time.

    At least the convoy system seemed to work. It increased transportation time and costs so severely that it was wrecking the economy, but at least things were getting through¡­

    For now¡­

    After sustaining some heavy losses, the Forsaken seemed to back off, only targeting lone freighters and stragglers (as well as any remaining hyperspace terminals).

    They had backed off almost too much. Something was up. Unlike those who proimed victory entirely too readily, Veeka was filled with dread.

    From what she understood, the humans and Jessica Morgan weren¡¯t the type of foe that would back down that easily¡­ unless they were waiting for something.

    That ¡°something¡± kept Veeka up at night.

    They had to put the Forsaken <em>down</em> and do it <em>now</em>, regardless of the cost. Raylesh had to be <em>crushed</em>, and Zaran had to be brought to heel. Their fleets, including their so-called homestead ships, had to be located and captured, <em>no matter what</em>.

    Every day they were allowed to remain was one more day they gained strength and developed even more diabolical things from a history so dark that it defied belief. Humans were <em>monsters</em>¡­ All of them. Behind their soft eyes and gentle smiles lurked a legacy of¡­ of¡­ unspeakable horrors that they gleefully inflicted on their own and even on each other, things that her species <em>never</em> did¡­

    That most species never did¡­ ever¡­

    And now they were awake, and Veeka knew in her heart that if they weren¡¯t <em>stopped</em>, it would be not only the end of the Federation but the deaths of <em>trillions</em>.

    They <em>must</em> be stopped¡­ <em>eliminated</em> if necessary¡­ Hopefully, it won¡¯te to that. But, if it does, it will truly be a situation where only one side will not only win but <em>survive</em>.

    If you had told Veeka a year ago that she would be in favor of genocide, she wouldn¡¯t haveughed. She would have been offended to the point of rage.

    Yet¡­ Here she was. The Forsaken¡­ <em>humans</em>¡­ had to be <em>stopped</em>. She had absolutely no doubt that everything that had happened until now was nothing but the prelude to a symphony of horrors that would scar the gxy for a thousand years.

    She had, of course, called for the necessary measures, but her voice was just one pitiful squeak drowned out by the murmurs of uncertainty, fear, and greed. The ¡°elephant¡¯s foot¡± did precisely what it was supposed to do. Nobody wanted to be the one to ¡°pull the trigger¡± on the Forsaken for fear of what else they could and, more importantly, <em>would</em> do.

    Nobody wanted <em>their</em> to be the one struck next. Nobody wanted <em>their</em> economy to be further damaged.

    Nobody wanted to pay the credits or sacrifice the resources necessary to build the fleets and raise the troops it would require to stop what was already beyond stopping.

    ¡°The gue will get them.¡± ¡°The convoy system is working.¡± ¡°The blockades will halt their industry.¡± ¡°They have lost too many ships. They can¡¯t sustain these attacks.¡± These were the convenient excuses that were brought up time and time again. The enves were all under siege and blockade. They can just starve them out.

    Except¡­ They weren¡¯t starving.

    That was what Veeka repeatedly tried to drive home. These humans weren¡¯t like the rest of us. They all <em>survived</em> the Sol Wars. What the void was a blockade or a siege going to do to them? At most, it was an annoyance. Intercepted conversations did not indicate starvation. They indicated dissatisfaction. It wasn¡¯t, ¡°I¡¯m starving.¡± It was, ¡°If I have to eat one more bowl of yeast and algae, I will lose my fucking mind.¡±

    If anything, the health of the ¡°besieged¡± humans was <em>improving... </em>if they were being besieged at all. Too many systems either dropped the siege because of fear of reprisals or never attempted one in the first ce. In fact, the Federation was driven from more than one system when they arrived¡­ <em>by the system¡¯s own SDF!</em>

    Too many systems were <em>sympathetic</em> to those¡­ those <em>fiends</em>¡­ They had no idea what they were letting live among them, what that gentle, grandfatherly figure who had been there longer than they had been alive <em>actually was</em>¡­ what he would do to them <em>all</em> with the slightest provocation¡­ or just because he <em>could</em>.

    Veeka had, of course, lent her voice to these concerns as well. Her ¡°reward¡±? Disapproval and a loss of influence. What¡¯s worse, her own people had sternly cautioned her about her ¡°dangerous and hateful¡± speech and her ¡°recklessness¡± in the investigation and condemnation of the Baleel (who were clearly in league with the humans) and the rest of the Communalist Party (who were essories to <em>treason</em> at the very least).

    In fact, if it were to be known she was here doing what she was doing, it could be the end of her career.

    She no longer cared. <em>Someone</em> had to protect the Federation and, more importantly, her people. She had protected the K(click)eep her entire life, and if her career was the price, then that was the price.

    Lying on her belly, she silently moved closer to the window and adjusted her visor, which was considerably thicker than the one she usually wore.

    It was as bad as she had heard, if not worse.

    It wasn¡¯t just Aat, Wttl, and other such lowlies in the park. There were members of races with much higher status mixed in, all dining, rxing, and enjoying the new and much-improved park. Her breath caught with surprise. There were <em>Novux</em> lounging on the upper floors of nearby ruins, <em>Vulxeen</em> stuffing their faces around the fountain, even <em>Xx,</em> risking the wrath of Caw, chatting with a¡­ creators preserve us¡­ a Y¡¯keen¡­ one of the elder races!

    There were others as well, all naively believing that there actually was such a thing as a free lunch.

    She zoomed in on various individuals. Everyone seemed to be happy and <em>rxed</em>.

    She felt a chill.

    <em>That¡¯s</em> what that creator-cursed slug was selling here. This was probably the <em>one ce</em> in the whole city that was <em>guaranteed</em> to be safe! If half of what Veeka suspected was true, no sniper would attack, regardless of who was present. <em>Anyone</em> could just <em>go outside</em> and pretend, if just for a moment, that things were like they used to be.

    It wasn¡¯t just the food¡­

    That <em>bitch</em>¡­

    No. She didn¡¯te here to get angry.

    She came here to investigate some very interesting rumors and some very encouraging indications.

    There were very clear signs that the Communalist Party was starting to fall apart! There were rumors of disputes at all levels, including Karashel and her fellow conspirators, over nearly everything. Their party no longer voted or acted as a single cohesive political entity, often splitting their vote. Individual party members would cut deals over their <em>single</em> vote, or a group of them would do the same. At the same time, another group would be doing the same to the other side. Karashel seemed to be trying to keep control, often releasing ¡°information packages¡± concerning bills and motions that were clearly biased, but often her party members often disregarded these or even drew conclusions that ran counter to the Baleean vote.

    Furthermore, there were rumors of some very real differences of opinion at the highest level, those who profited the most from the ¡°Balen Gambit¡±. There was even talk of heated arguments between the charter members concerning the management of their ¡°customers¡± and what to do with them and with their obscene and criminal gains.

    The party seemed to be breaking up, with each leader having their own clique of members following them. Sometimes these groups would argue and bicker in the chambers of the capitol itself!

    Just yesterday, there was a notable incident where the tiny Loo councilor screamed at the councilor for the Besl over atrocities, saying that they were ¡°betraying the vision¡±.

    Then again, Veeka wanted to scream at the Besl herself. What they were doing to their ¡°customer¡± was <em>horrific</em>. Yes, they had suffered and were badly mistreated by the race that was now at their mercy. However, nothing justified what they had done. Every horrible thing that Caw had warned about was taking ce¡­ and more. The death toll was¡­

    She couldn¡¯t let herself think about that now. She was here to identify any potential weak points and gather any information that might be useful¡­ or at least worth risking her career.

    All of them were still present at the park, and they all sat together in a show of unity. Perhaps they would argue and let slip something she could use.

    She turned her attention to the park itself. What was once an open park was now a walled garden. Surprisingly attractive and sound walls had been erected with watchtowers and guarded gates. From what she heard, each of the charter races (and members of their clique) would take turns guarding the park.

    Every race, that is, except the Baleel. Apparently, the thought of armed Baleel was ¡°silly¡±. ¡°Contractors¡± handled security when it was their turn.

    The other cliques used their turn to disy their strength and their armaments, often taunting members of the different cliques as they passed.

    Some of these interactions turned into confrontations. As of yet, there had been no reports of actual violence, but some witnesses said that the exchanges could be very nasty.

    Today seemed to be the Rill¡¯s turn.

    Veeka didn¡¯t like the Rill. They seemed nice enough, but something about theirbination of serpentine, reptilian, and insectoid features hit all of her instinctive ¡°nope¡± buttons. Arge glossy centipede/snake with sharp mandibles sent shivers up her furry little spine.

    She looked closer and frowned.

    They were all armed with what appeared to be some sort of gunpowder arm, but they were NOT crude or improvised as the report said, nor were they AKs which other reports imed. Instead, they were well-crafted long arms with intricately carved and iid stocks that matched their physiology.

    There was also a wheeled armored vehicle. Again, this was not improvised, or if it was, it was <em>very</em> well done. The sides were made of sloped tes, and the windows were of a thick transparent material.

    On the top of the vehicle was a heavier weapon. She zoomed in further.

    It was definitely a gunpowder arm of some sort. The ammunition was clearly visible as it fed into the weapon from a side-mounted hopper on a belt of some kind of cloth.

    <em>The cartridges were NOT Terran!!!</em>

    They did not match <em>any</em> of the ammunition that had been introduced to the Federation. She zoomed in on a cartridge and took careful recordings and measurements as best she could without using an active scan.

    For the millionth time, she cursed the humans. She did not have ess to the Locus. She had absolutely no idea what she was looking at. All she could do was note that it looked <em>simr</em> to Terran ammunition, but it wasn¡¯t. The measurements were not a multiple of any of the Terran measurement systems, modern or historical, nor did they match any of the hundreds of rounds from that ursed tablet that the Forsaken were gleefully scattering about. It could be any of the heavier rifle rounds, but it matched none of them.

    The important thing was NONE of the arms she was viewing were the clumsy, shoddy things she had been shown in briefings. These were well-designed, <em>elegant</em>, and finely crafted arms¡­

    Arms that should NOT be on the streets of Capital City!

    There wasn¡¯t a damned thing Veeka could do about it, though. A quick check of the Rill confirmed what she already knew.

    They were all diplomatic embassy staff, recently added as security or office help or her personal favorite, misceneous.

    Any embassy could have armed security, and there was no clear limit on what that entailed. All races were increasing their defensive capabilities, and all were resistant to being limited in that ability. The Rill having an armored vehicle with what <em>had</em> to be a heavy machine gun of some sort made perfect sense these days.

    In fact, the vehicle she rode to and from the capitol every day wasn¡¯t that much different. It just looked nicer and was more discreet. Head-to-head, it could probably take out that Rill APC with little difficulty.

    The fact that they were providing security to this park was¡­ irregr¡­ but was approved by the city. Considering that their councilor or other high-ranking representatives were present in the park made it that much more legitimate, regardless of how it made the fur on Veeka¡¯s spine stand on end.

    As she silently watched, another bus arrived, and a group of Loo exited along with the rest of the passengers.

    Veeka had seen plenty of Loo, but none like these.

    Forck of a better word, they looked <em>mean</em>, something very hard for a little Loo to pull off. Again, Veeka couldn¡¯t risk a scan, but her detailed passive analysis told her plenty. They had significantly more muscle mass and a lower body fat percentage than the Loo she had previously seen.

    Their attire consisted of long (for a Loo) coats, poofy trousers that were bloused into little but very rugged boots, and very oddly shaped brimmed hats.

    They were armed with short-barreled weapons slung across their back or shoulder and arge (for a Loo) knife worn on their belts.

    Again, the weapon was not an exact match for anything on the tablet, but the basic design appeared to be something akin to an assault rifle or submachine gun. The small size of the wielder made it hard to tell.

    However, the bore of the weapons was recognizable. It was consistent with a nine-millimeter Terran weapon. Nine-millimeter pistol ammunition was something that was now readily avable even on the streets.

    The Rill stepped forward, ring their crests, as the Loo approached, seemingly unintimidated by the muchrger Rill.

    She activated her directional microphone towards the two groups as they reached each other.

    ¡°Oh look,¡± one of the Rill said, ¡°Lunch is here.¡±

    ¡°Oh goody,¡± another said, ¡°I was getting peckish.¡±

    ¡°Not much meat on them, though,¡± another Rill said as they stepped forward, sying their mandibles. ¡°I guess there is enough to tide us over.¡±

    ¡°I have your lunch right here,¡± one of the Loo said as they clutched at their genitals as the Loo all giggled and sneered.

    ¡°I believe that is what I said,¡± the Rill replied with a flutter of their crest. ¡°I suppose I will allow you the mercy of having onest self-fertilization first¡­ It is only right to allow you to bid farewell to your <em>mate</em>.¡±

    The Rrill¡¯spanions buzzed, clicked, and hooted.

    ¡°How kind,¡± the Loo sneered, ¡°Hang on,¡± he said as he pulled out hismunicator. A few momentster, he said, ¡°Your sister says hi.¡±

    The Loo squeaked and giggled.

    ¡°You wish,¡± the Rill clicked, ¡°You freel-cker.¡±

    The Loo looked confused.

    ¡°What?¡± he asked, ¡°How do you freel ak?¡±

    Veeka just sighed as she took some notes. ¡°They weren¡¯t at each other¡¯s throats. That was just¡­¡±

    A series of ¡°loud¡± squeals made her look back up.

    ¡°That is <em>vile</em>!¡± the Loo giggled, ¡°I¡¯m totally using that!¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± another one squeaked, pointing at the APC. ¡°Is that one of your Vzz ~¡¯s?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± one of the Rill said proudly. ¡°We got them in yesterday!¡±

    ¡°Can I see?¡± the Loo squeaked as it scurried over to the APC.

    ¡°Certainly,¡± The Rill said as another Rill on the APC reached down and pulled the Loo up.

    ¡°So, these are water-cooled, right?¡± The Loo asked curiously.

    ¡°Yes,¡± the Rill replied. ¡°It allows for sustained fire for a <em>very</em> time. You can reallyy down the fire with one of these beauties!¡±

    ¡°Neat!¡± the Loo eximed. ¡°What are you firing?¡±

    ¡°The traditional, eight parv cartridges, but we¡¯ve reced the copper-d lead with something just a little better.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just chamber it for Terran stuff?¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you just go and fuck yourself?¡± the Rill buzzed, ¡°This cartridge was <em>designed</em> for <em>this</em> weapon. Besides, we aren¡¯t going to freel theirks. We can make our <em>own</em> ammo! You should do the same.¡±

    ¡°Preaching to the acolyte, brother,¡± the Loo squeaked. ¡°But, nine-millimeter is <em>cheap</em>, and the Terrans make some <em>nice</em> loads. We were able to get a <em>lot</em> of it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but now you are freeling theirks,¡± the Rill clicked. ¡°You going to be bending over for the fucking <em>Republic</em> forever?¡±

    ¡°Again,¡± the Loo squeaked, ¡°Preacher. Acolyte. I would love to see our old twelve-fours with modern projectiles. The Terran shit is either too big or too small for us. We¡¯re using <em>pistol</em> rounds in our <em>rifles,</em> Goddess bless us! It makes a nice street sweeper, but it¡¯s not a proper rifle. We have some seven point six two¡¯s, but, shit. We need a bipod and a muzzle brake.¡±

    ¡°What about¡­¡±

    Veeka sighed quietly. Whatever divisions there might be, it hasn¡¯t made it to the soldiers. The Loo and the Rill were <em>supposed</em> to be at odds. In fact, the Rill councilor had used the Loo of ¡°screwing¡± them over because of some political arrangement or another. From what Veeka gathered, they were both supposed to vote a certain way and the Loo ¡°sold out¡± at thest moment, an unforgivable betrayal.

    However, here their soldiers were friendly, even to the point of unit rivalry¡­

    Veeka looked at the soldiers again. The Loo had pulled out a few boxes and were handing them to the Rill, who seemed very pleased.

    ¡­and exchanging goods... They were not ¡°about toe to blows¡±.

    One of the Loo was now behind the Rill¡¯s machine gun while the Rill was clearly showing it how to operate the weapon.

    Nope. They were getting along just fine.

    Veeka started to look for Karashel and the other councilors. They were usually pretty conspicuous when they held court.

    She let out a few unconscious ultrasonic clicks as she did¡­

    And froze.

    The room she was in was empty.

    <em>There shouldn¡¯t be two sofas in it.</em>

    She slowly turned around.

    A few yards behind her, two Baleel were just smiling at her.

    ¡°Hello!¡± one of them said cheerfully.

    ¡°Hi!¡± the other one added.

    Veeka justy there in shock.

    <em>I didn¡¯t even hear them approach¡­</em>

    Her race¡¯s hearing was beyond acute. These two Baleel had crept up to within striking distance, and she had no idea.

    If they wanted to, they could have killed her.

    ¡°Whatcha doin¡¯?¡± The silver-skinned one asked cheerfully.

    She was hiding in a building with advanced surveince equipment spying on them. That¡¯s what she was <em>clearly</em> doing.

    ¡°Are you hungry?¡± the other one asked as they held up a small basket. ¡°We brought you lunch!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s good!¡± the silver-skinned one added.

    ¡°Very good!¡± hispanion eximed.

    ¡°When I¡¯m spying,¡± the silver-skinned Baleel said, ¡°I bring lunch. You should always bring lunch.¡±

    ¡°You should never spy on an empty stomach,¡± the other Baleel said cheerfully.

    Veeka sat up and sighed. There were several phrases in her culture for the situation in which she now found herself, none of which were fit for polite conversation.

    ¡°If you want to spy,¡± the silver-skinned Baleel said, ¡°You should just go to the park. It will be a lot easier.¡±

    ¡°And the food is better,¡± the other Baleel added.

    ¡°Karashel says that you can sit up here all you want,¡± the silver-skinned Baleel said, ¡°But she also says that you will learn a lot more if you join them for lunch¡­ Okay bye!¡±

    The two Baleel undted (with a lot more noise) out of the room.

    Veeka sighed, stood, and collected the basket.

    She looked across the street.

    ¡°Void im it,¡± she muttered as she exited the ruined gallery¡­

    And started walking towards the park.

 Chapter 266: Karashel and Veeka, an Uncomfortable Feast Part One

    Chapter 266: Karashel and Veeka, an Ufortable Feast Part One

    Veeka paused before crossing the street and changed her clothing¡¯s setting from ¡°optically adaptive¡± to ¡°solid color: purple¡±.

    Karashel¡¯s assassins (or whatever those things were) had already seen her dressed in near-perfect camo, but the people in the park had not.

    As she reached the gate, the Rill guards nodded respectfully.

    ¡°Councilor,¡± one of them hiss-buzzed.

    ¡°Good afternoon,¡± she said pleasantly, ¡°How is the day treating you?¡±

    ¡°Quite well, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t help but notice your weapon,¡± she said, ¡°It¡¯s beautiful.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡± the Rill buzzed as their hood expanded to its fullest, resembling a cobra.

    ¡°May I scan it?¡±

    ¡°Of course!¡± the Rill clicked proudly. ¡°The stock and action are of a ssic Kev~# design chambered in <em>3%lk</em> using <em>our</em> propent and projectile. It has been adapted to use a detachable box magazine, but other than that, it is free from (scoff) Terran influence. It utilizes the force from the equal and opposite reaction to¡­¡±

    Veeka listened intently as she scanned what appeared to be a simple and elegant weapon specifically designed by and for the species using it. While bearing many simrities to Terran arms, it was definitely NOT one.

    For one thing, this weapon was crafted with great care and was a joy to behold, something that she would happily purchase as an art piece, with an intricately carved and iid stock and wonderfullypelling engravings on most exposed metal surfaces.

    ¡°Oh, that is <em>lovely</em>,¡± Veeka said sincerely. ¡°I would have been very happy to carry something like that back in the day¡­ a bit smaller, of course.¡±

    ¡°<em>You</em>, bore <em>steel</em>?¡± The Rill clicked.

    ¡°You sound surprised,¡± Veeka chuckled, ¡°But in my youth, I was a very different and somewhat more trim creature. In my people, service in our SDF is the best way both into higher education and into the public sector. It is also expected from certain families, such as my own.¡±

    ¡°Rilllllll-Rillllshak!¡± the Rill leader eximed. ¡°And how did you bear your steel?¡±

    ¡°The polite term for it is ¡®Reconnaissance Vanguard¡¯,¡± Veeka replied proudly. ¡°I will leave it to your judgment as to what that actually means.¡±

    ¡°Rilllllll-Rillllshak¡¯sha!¡± the Rill leader trilled as they all stamped their feet. ¡°Here.¡±

    The leader offered his weapon to Veeka.

    ¡°S(click)sharra,¡± Veeka said solemnly as she epted the rifle.

    She grunted a little.

    ¡°Oof¡­ heavy.¡±

    She held the weapon admiringly and, with a little effort, managed to shoulder it¡­ sort of, roughly taking aim at a safely abandoned building, much to the amusement of the soldiers.

    ¡°If you fancy it,¡± the leader clicked, ¡°I am certain you couldmission something more suitable from Rill. There is quite a waiting list, but I¡¯m certain that status and money¡­ and the challenge of such a piece¡­ could secure you an advantage.¡±

    ¡°An advantage I would not seek to im,¡± Veeka replied as she returned the rifle. ¡°I suspect your craftsmen are quite busy these days.¡±

    ¡°Are not your own?¡±

    Veeka huffed with annoyance.

    ¡°Not nearly as busy as they should be¡­ not that we have them anymore. Aside from a few historians and hobbyists, nothing remains. My people are entirely too¡­ secure¡­ in their beliefs, preferring to sleep soundly under thefort of our SDF. That¡¯s not entirely unjustified. Our SDF is quite substantial, and their weapons, while nowhere near as beautiful as yours, are quite suitable.¡±

    ¡°Of that,¡± the leader replied, ¡°we have little doubt. The K(click)eep are quite well known¡­ though more for your navy.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s what catches the eye,¡± Veeka replied and then added with a little smirk, ¡°as it should. One shouldn¡¯t see what lurks in the trees until it decides to present itself.¡±

    The Rill all clicked darkly withughter.

    Veeka smiled inwardly and for more than one reason. This was bing quite informative, and it felt nice to be able to connect with both real soldiers and that part of her again.

    ¡°Forgive me for asking,¡± Veeka said as she peered at the masterpiece, ¡°But was this weapon <em>manufactured</em> with those carvings?¡±

    ¡°I wish!¡± the Rill buzzed as hispanions clicked their mandibles in what passed for augh among their people. ¡°It was not without cost, even if it was done by machine. I¡¯vemissioned a properly made one, but it will take well over a year for it to be delivered. It cost me dearly, but it will be worth it.¡±

    ¡°You paid for your weapon?¡±

    ¡°I chose to,¡± the Rill replied, ¡°It¡¯s a Rill thing.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not levies,¡± another Rill chimed in, ¡°with bare steel. We are¡ª¡±

    Another Rill headbutted him.

    ¡°Embassy staff!¡± the headbutted Rill eximed, ¡°Yep. Juuuust embassy staffers¡­¡±

    Veeka couldn¡¯t help but snicker as the Rill all clicked with amusement.

    ¡°Pull my tail,¡± Veeka snarked, ¡°It shoots out sprinkles. We¡¯ve been adding ¡®embassy staff¡¯ ourselves. If you are anything like our new mail clerks, then you are among the best¡¯ mail clerks¡¯ your people have.¡±

    More clicking.

    Veeka leaned in and quietly asked, ¡°What is the <em>deal</em> with those Baleel?¡±

    ¡°You mean the creepy ones that busted you?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, those,¡± Veeka winced.

    ¡°They <em>say</em> they are ¡®nature buddies¡¯,¡± the Rill¡¯s leader replied, ¡°Which is some sort of park ranger or something. But you know Baleel. Anything they say can mean <em>anything</em>. We have no idea. All we know is that they answer to Her Pinkness, and there¡¯s always one of them around whether you can see them or not¡­ which you won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Lovely,¡± Veeka said.

    ¡°You¡¯ll have to ask Her Pinkness if you want to know more,¡± the leader said.

    He leaned in towards Veeka.

    ¡°And if you find out, ma¡¯am, let us know. Those things creep us the void out.¡±

    ***

    Escorted by one of the surprisingly friendly and rxed Rill, Veeka was led through the expansive park and toward a rather lovely and freshly built pavilion on the site.

    ¡°Thank you, RillRillll,¡± Veeka said, calling the soldier by name. ¡°And thank you for sharing about your military. I must say you are quite knowledgeable for a simple embassy staffer.¡±

    The Rill clicked with amusement.

    ¡°Likewise, Councilor,¡± the Rill buzzed, ¡°the simrity and differences are quite interesting.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps I shall visit again,¡± Veeka replied.

    ¡°You shall always be wee at our post,¡± the Rill replied as they curled their body and extended their hood. ¡°Rilllllll-Rillllshak!¡±

    Veeka snapped to attention and thumped her tail.

    ¡°S(click)sharra!¡±

    Her smile faded.

    ¡°I see ¡®Her Pinkness¡¯ has noticed me,¡± she said as her least favorite lifeform in the gxy bobbed and wiggled happily.

    ¡°Care to exchange duties?¡± Veeka asked the soldier, who just clicked loudly.

    ¡°No, thank you,¡± the Rill clicked with amusement, ¡°Enjoy your lunch, Councilor.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Hi, there!¡± Karashel said brightly as Veeka approached. ¡°I love your outfit! So versatile!¡±

    ¡°Just a little something I had in the back of the closet,¡± Veeka replied.

    ¡°I¡¯m d you decided to join us! Sit! Sit! Ooh! Get yourself a te first! You should try the Z¡¯uush barbecue! It¡¯s wonderful!¡±

    Veeka smiled thinly and wandered into the distressingly thick crowd.

    The whole affair had a happy festive vibe as people chatted, mingled, and stuffed their faces with the entirely too impressive array of foods from across the Federation. Not only were there entire tables of produce and staples, but there were also many small tents and booths where representatives of many races, not all of them members of the party, were cooking their signature dishes.

    It required effort for Veeka not to be entirely too pleased at what she was beholding. There were so many interesting and tempting delights, even for one as wealthy as her.

    The happiness of so many, especially the less privileged, was almost overpowering.

    ¡°Is it really free?¡± she overheard a rather shabbily dressed¡­ something¡­ burble.

    ¡°It is,¡± a brilliant purple Jova replied as they filled a bowl with a fragrant stew.

    ¡°Then¡­¡± the xeno, which Veeka just knew she should be able to identify (and the reason she couldn¡¯t was ufortably obvious), looked at a transactor on the table.

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry about that,¡± the Jova replied. ¡°It¡¯s for gifts of gratitude from those who choose to donate and have the wealth to do so in order to help buy the ingredients that we cannot gather here. The extra proceeds go to¡­¡±

    The Jova nced over at Veeka.

    ¡°...purchasing food and goods for the less fortunate among us,¡± she said with an entirely less than friendly nce at Veeka. ¡°The transactor is truly not for you, friend. This meal is a gift from VVa, he who warms all, and from the cooling shadows that he casts, paid for by those who wish to share their prosperity.¡±

    ¡°You mean the party?¡±

    ¡°Them too,¡± the Jova snerked. ¡°Benefit from their ¡®hospitality¡¯ as well. Just don¡¯t eat so much that you clog your ears¡­ and mind. Eat.¡±

    The xeno scooped some Jova stew into their mouth and cooed with joy.

    ¡°Is good!¡±

    ¡°It is, isn¡¯t it,¡± the Jova growled proudly. ¡°Eat your fill, I served you lightly so that you may have room to enjoy the hospitality of others, but if you want more, you can see the depth of my pot. I would only be pleased to fill you to bursting.¡±

    ¡°This ce is amazing!¡± the xeno cooed as they ate more stew.

    ¡°Yes, VVa shines brightly here,¡± the Jova replied, ¡°But don¡¯t look up in praise too much lest your feet lose the path.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°If you would,¡± the Jova smiled as they filled a cup with a faintly amber liquid, ¡°permit my hospitality to extend to sharing a story from our history and a few observations about our gracious hosts¡­ One moment,¡± the Jova added as they greeted a neer to their table.

    Veeka wished to stay and hear more but did not want to alert Karashel to what the Jova was doing.

    Regretfully, she forced herself to remain on task and quickly get something and return to ¡°Her Pinkness¡±.

    She smiled at the thought. Soldiers always did have a way of cutting to the truth of the matter. That title worked on so many levels.

    She decided to get a bowl of the Jova¡¯s stew to exin her time there. Besides, it smelled <em>heavenly</em>.

    She also made a point of making a generous donation with a wry smile. It turns out that there really wasn¡¯t a free lunch after all. It seemed that more than a few beings would share her ¡®hospitality¡¯ as well.

    ¡°VVa warm you, and may his mercy shield you from the scouring sands,¡± the Jova growled in a far more pleasant manner as they filled a bowl. ¡°Would you care for Gva Lii?¡± they added as they gestured to therge cooler filled with the amber liquid.

    Veeka quickly scanned it with her visor. It was not only safe but, ording to the AI, probably rather tasty.

    ¡°Yes, please,¡± she replied.

    ***

    ¡°Good choice!¡± Councilor Longpaw of the Loo eximed. ¡°Was it the purple one that doesn¡¯t trust us?¡±

    ¡°The Jova was purple,¡± Veeka said as she sat among the party leaders, ¡°but they spoke of nothing but stew.¡±

    ¡°Oh, he makes some <em>stew</em>,¡± Karashel added happily. ¡°I don¡¯t know what they put in it, but <em>yum</em>! I like him!¡±

    ¡°Not to my tastes,¡± Councilor Laek~Vet of once lowly and now infamous Besl said.

    ¡°That¡¯s because there isn¡¯t enough blood in it,¡± Longpaw replied. ¡°Maybe if we <em>eviscerated</em> some of your victims over the pot it¡­¡±

    ¡°Could you <em>please</em> give it a rest, Longpaw,¡± Councilor Rillrillrillrill buzzed, ¡°I would like to enjoy a pleasant meal for <em>once</em>, and we <em>do</em> have a <em>guest</em>.¡±

    ¡°And your <em>opinion</em> on this matter has been <em>thoroughly</em> documented,¡± Councilor Maypawk of the gigantic Yuii rumbled, ¡°furthermore, you present an argument to a forum that has no objectors¡­ save one, of course.¡±

    Councilor Laek~Vet just shrugged and sipped from a beautiful ornate pewter mug.

    Karashel issued a bubbly sigh.

    ¡°Yes, Longpaw,¡± Karashel said with a bubbly sigh, ¡°we are <em>almost</em> all inplete agreement with you. We also <em>all</em> agreed that we would at least <em>try</em> to pretend to get along while we were here.¡±

    Karashel looked over at Veeka with weary eyes.

    ¡°I honestly wish this was just a theatric production for your entertainment,¡± she said. ¡°I assume this is part of what you wanted to learn from your remote and ufortable perch?¡±

    ¡°Among other things,¡± Veeka said as she sampled the stew.

    It was <em>excellent</em>.

    ¡°But there is now something that I want to know about even more,¡± Veeka replied. ¡°What the <em>void</em> are those Baleel you sent to invite me here?¡±

    ¡°Oh, the buddies?¡± Karashel chirped with a gooey blurp, ¡°Aren¡¯t they just <em>nifty?</em>¡±

    ¡°Very impressive,¡± Veeka said quite truthfully, ¡°My investigation of your people showed no such units in your military or your intelligence service.¡±

    ¡°Because we don¡¯t have much of either!¡± Karashel replied. ¡°And the buddies are part of neither group. They are part of the Department of the Interior. More precisely, they are part of the Subdepartment of Wildlife, Fisheries, and Preserves. They are game wardens!¡±

    ¡°Pull my tail and enjoy some sprinkles,¡± Veeka replied.

    ¡°No, seriously,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°I know it sounds funny, but we Baleel have a <em>serious</em> problem with poaching. It¡¯s really bad. More than one species of animal and nt have been hunted to extinction over our history, and more than a few are now endangered. Our ¡®poachers¡¯ aren¡¯t your average poachers, either. Our organized crime is centered on poaching, not drugs, guns, media, or other such things. Look it up.¡±

    ¡°Nibble upon my toes,¡± Veeka glowered, causing Karashel to burst into giggles.

    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± she giggled, ¡°you <em>can¡¯t</em>. Send someone by our embassy, and we¡¯ll give you some news archives or something. It¡¯s really bad.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°You might not have noticed,¡± Karashel said with a drippy smile, ¡°but our species might have a few quirks.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t say!¡±

    ¡°Hehee¡­ Stomach and gonads,¡± Karashel said with another giggle.

    ¡°Pardon?¡±

    ¡°When the creators fashioned us, they took a stomach and a peen or pouch and then stuck them together using only a minimum of effort on everything else. I¡¯m basically a stomach, a vag, and a foot¡­ <em>in that order</em>. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°Not really.¡±

    ¡°Baleel <em>love</em> to eat,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°For us, a good meal is right up there with good sex. If you ask a thousand Baleel which is better, it will probablye out about fifty-fifty. Delicacies <em>are</em> drugs for us. If you set a te of Jeeg roe on one side of me and put Volobesh (He¡¯s like the hottest Baleel on the) naked and erect on the other, I would enjoy <em>both</em>¡­ but if I had to choose¡­ It would depend on the day. The Jeeg are very tightly managed, and even with my new wealth and status, it would be very hard to obtain. The only way to get some is to get a Jeeg license and catch an engorged female yourself. Even with the huge payday one of those would fetch, most Baleel would just eat them. They would be very hard-pressed to resist. On the ck market, that roe is <em>very</em> expensive, and the people who sell it make <em>a lot</em> of credits¡­ enough to kill over.¡±

    Karashel looked at her te and skewered a small berry, popping it into her mouth and squealing happily.

    ¡°Case in point!¡± she said happily, ¡°these little cav$sk fruits are going to make me <em>so</em> much money! They are going to sell by the <em>ton</em>!¡±

    She looked at Veeka and smiled again.

    ¡°That¡¯s where the buddiese in!¡± she eximed, ¡°Nature Buddies are our anti-poaching units, and they go slime to ooze with the poachers wherever those stinkslicks slither. Out there in the shroom or on the ocean, there aren¡¯t many arrests but a lot of forensics, if you know what I mean. They also go after the poacher gangs on the streets as well. They aren¡¯t death squads. They do follow due process and try to make arrests, but everyone knows that isn¡¯t how it will go down. They stun when they can but when they can¡¯t¡­ well¡­ what happens happens, right?¡±

    ¡°I see¡­¡± Veeka replied. ¡°So, they are <em>actually</em> game wardens¡­¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡±

    ¡°So, what sorts of weapons do they use?¡±

    ¡°Oh, you know, regr stuff,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°Stunners and junk like that when possible, but that¡¯s not really how we Baleel fight. We do things a little differently.¡±

    ¡°Different how?¡±

    ¡°Oh, just differently,¡± Karashel replied.

    Veeka just looked at her silently.

    ¡°Okay, fine,¡± Karashel replied with a damp huff, ¡°You¡¯ll find out anyway. We don¡¯t engage in shootouts like the Terrans or these other guys. In fact, many of our historic battles (not that we had very many <em>at all</em>) were so quiet you might not even know they were happening¡­ If you weren¡¯t a Baleel. We creep and hide andy traps and snares. We poison and smother. Our ¡®guns¡¯ are sniper rifles¡­ or just a range finder or other targeting device.¡±

    ¡°Artillery?¡± Veeka asked.

    <em>Or missiles</em>¡­ she silently added.

    ¡°When our technology reached that point,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°and then airstrikes and ballistic missiles¡­ but like I said, we hardly ever had any wars. We aren¡¯t like that. We honestly do preferpromise and will tolerate a <em>lot</em> to simply live in peace.¡±

    Veeka scoffed.

    ¡°No, it¡¯s true,¡± Karashel replied, ¡°We were perfectly happy to be our bloc¡¯s doormat and be poor stupid peasant farmers¡­ until they tried to shove our breath holes into the mire and smother our people. It was only then that we decided to do something about it.¡±

    She looked Veeka at her with those alien soulless eyes.

    ¡°I¡¯ll have some of our history, both ancient and recent, sent by. You can see what I mean.¡±

    ¡°You mean like the bible you sent your ¡®customer¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, stuff like that!¡± Karashel chirped. ¡°You will see the same trend over and over. Wepromise. We back down. We retire. Wepromise again. We give up more¡­ all for the sake of peace¡­ and then when we can back down no further¡­¡±

    ¡°Genocide,¡± Veeka said usingly.

    ¡°You have studied us!¡± Karashel replied happily. ¡°As such, I can <em>understand</em> the Besl¡¯s treatment of their customer, but¡­¡±

    ¡°You still disagree with it.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Karashel replied. ¡°It is <em>very</em> counterproductive to not only the party¡¯s interests but also <em>my</em> interests and ultimately even the Besl¡¯s. They aren¡¯t doing the sensible thing of making a threat go away. <em>That</em> makes sense. They are <em>punishing</em> those poor people, causing them to suffer needlessly because of their very justified anger and pain¡­ and their greed. It is <em>understandable</em>, but it is not the same thing <em>at all</em>.¡±

    Laek~Vet just shrugged.

    ¡°Not my concern,¡± he said. ¡°Not my call, either.¡±

    He smiled evilly.

    ¡°It¡¯s not my problem that they are unable to manage their affairs properly. They brought this upon themselves. My noble race, and the Federation, are not obligated to coddle those who cannot pay their debts nor carry their burdens.¡±

    Veeka winced. She knew <em>exactly</em> who he was quoting, the same shattered creature now wandering the council chambers with a broken soul and grief-filled eyes, desperately trying to appeal to beings that once pretended to be his friends and now didn¡¯t even reply to their email.

    ¡°As I said,¡± Karashel said, ¡°<em>understandable</em>, perhaps even <em>justified</em>, but certainly not something of which I approve. In fact, I am very put out over the whole situation.¡±

    She looked at the Besl.

    ¡°I was led to believe that things would proceed differently,¡± Karashel said with just a little edge to her voice, ¡°They say that a n never survives contact with the enemy. Mine <em>did</em>. Unfortunately, it did not survive my <em>friends</em>, did it?¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Veeka asked. ¡°I¡¯m surprised you are so forting about such things.¡±

    ¡°No reason not to be,¡± Karashel replied as she ate another cav$sk fruit and quivered with pleasure. ¡°I have too much on my te, both literally and figuratively, to waste effort trying to conceal that which cannot be hidden. It simply <em>has</em> to be apparent that our happy little band is well¡­ less than entirely convivial.¡±

    Karashel sipped a tall ss of Aat sre water.

    ¡°That <em>is</em> why you were hiding across the street, correct? You wanted to find out how much of it was true and if there was anything you could use. Kudos and respect for doing it yourself, by the way.¡±

    Karashel made a happy little noise as she set down the ss.

    ¡°You simply <em>have</em> to try some sre water!¡± she enthused, ¡°The Aat really have it going on. So¡­ What do you want to know?¡±

    Veeka paused while she savored some of her stew and took advantage of the dy topose herself. She was unused to such candor, but that was one of that pink monster¡¯s weapons. She attacked your <em>footing</em>. If you weren¡¯t <em>very</em> careful, you would wind up ¡°slipping¡±.

    In some ways, she already had. She had absolutely no intention of confronting any of them directly at this point and was <em>not</em> prepared to be sucked into that confrontation, no matter how pleasantly it was presented, in the very heart of their operation.

    The slightest misstep would be recorded on the dozens of concealed sensors watching her every molecule at the moment.

    She was already starting to slip, and she knew it.

    She should just keep quiet, enjoy her meal, and get the void out of there.

    She chewed the stew as long as possible and then took a sip of her beverage. It wasn¡¯t horrible but a bit too bitter for her tastes.

    She had dyed as long as she could.

    ¡°It was more curiosity in general that had mee out here,¡± Veeka said pleasantly, ¡°I had heard that you had outgrown Aspiration Park, and I wanted to see for myself.¡±

    ¡°Not a bad setup, eh?¡± Karashel said proudly. ¡°This ce is perhaps the <em>one</em> thing we can all agree upon.¡±

    Karashel bubbled happily.

    ¡°It¡¯s truly wonderful what even the slightest effort can achieve,¡± she said, ¡°This entire endeavor costs hardly anything. We could have afforded it even before our sudden change in circumstances.¡±

    ¡°It is certainly impressive,¡± Veeka said diplomatically as she ate a bit more quickly than she usually would.

    She could <em>feel</em> Karashel¡¯s eyes on her¡­ <em>waiting</em>¡­

    ¡°And the best part,¡± Karashel said, ¡°is that everyone is wee here, regardless of status or affiliation, even you. You don¡¯t even have to say hello. You can just drop by, grab some food, hang out, and enjoy some <em>fresh air</em>.¡±

    <em>And have my every move, word, and breath recorded¡­</em>

    ¡°How gracious,¡± Veeka said, ¡°I just may.¡±

    ¡°Please do,¡± Karashel said, ¡°This is actually a pretty good ce to find some truly wonderful food and some funpany. You got on well with the Rill out front. I¡¯m sure you would love meeting the other soldiers as well. Did they answer all of your questions okay? Rillrill here would probably be more than happy to fill in any gaps.¡±

    ¡°I would prefer it if you either used my proper name or none at all,¡± The Rill councilor buzzed. ¡°But, of course, you already know that,¡± it added with good humor. ¡°But Her Pinkness is correct,¡± they said as they turned to Veeka, ¡°I will be happy to answer any questions.¡±

    ¡°They were very professional,¡± Veeka said, ¡°Your people have impressive ¡®embassy staff¡¯, Rillrillrillrill.¡±

    ¡°Who know exactly what they can and cannot say,¡± the Rill buzzed. ¡°They did not betray anything they should not have. In case you are wondering, they are members of our Rapid Scythe, one of what you would consider our special forces units, not unlike the unit in which you once served.¡±

    ¡°Your candor is refreshing, Rillrillrillrill. I am also gratified that you would ce me among them.¡±

    ¡°Your people¡¯s elite units are on par with <em>any</em> in the gxy, Veeka,¡± the Rill buzzed respectfully.

    ¡°You should check out the Loo Longcoats or the Yuii Twilight Fangs!¡± Karashel enthused. ¡°They are <em>awesome</em>!¡±

    ¡°Your Nature Buddies also impressed, Councilor.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re just being nice,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°but thank you.¡±

    Karashel bounced happily.

    ¡°Now I just <em>know</em> you are <em>dying</em> to ask us some stuff!¡± she burbled. ¡°Come on! Spill! I promise no tricks this time¡­ <em>honest</em>¡­¡±

    <em>I¡¯m actually impressed she was able to say that with such an honest demeanor</em>, Veeka thought wryly.

    ¡°My curiosity is quite satisfied, actually,¡± Veeka said, painfully aware of how much stew she still had and the fact that she was not savoring such a lovely meal.

    ¡°Well, I suppose I will have to guess what else you wish to discover and just start talking, then.¡±

    Karashel¡¯s eyes sparkled with a slimy gleam.

    ¡°I would hate it if you came all this way for nothing.¡±

    <em>Fuck¡­</em>

 Chapter 267: An Uncomfortable Feast Part Two

    Chapter 267: An Ufortable Feast Part Two

    Karashel inhaled deeply and sighed happily.

    ¡°It is a lovely day,¡± she bubbled, ¡°Isn¡¯t it <em>nice</em> to just sit out here in the fresh air and enjoy it?¡±

    Veeka didn¡¯t say anything. She just grimly ate her stew.

    ¡°You really aren¡¯t going to say or ask anything?¡± Karashel giggled.

    ¡°I really don¡¯t have anything to say,¡± Veeka replied, ¡°I simply¡­¡±

    ¡°Simply risked snipers, looters, and Creators knows what else to gain ess to the upper floors of a structurally unsound structure, in some very nice camouge, and wearing a very nice scanner just to check out our little food court?¡±

    Veeka did not reply.

    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be that way,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°We are all fellow councilors, colleagues, servants of the Federation. If we can¡¯t be honest with each other, who can we be honest with?¡±

    Councilor Longpaw burst out into trademark Loo giggles.

    ¡°Okay, fine,¡± Karashel said smoothly, ¡°We are probably a confusing lot to you colonizers. Allow me to exin. Yes, there are some very real divisions in our party extending even to those sitting at this table. Of all of my (giggle) trusted co-conspirators, only <em>one</em> shares my vision of post-scarcity, and even they are reluctant to follow me entirely.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Councilor Longpaw said, ¡°We haven¡¯t said no. We are just saying not yet. Honestly, Kara, what you propose is nothing short of insanity. Even <em>if</em> I waspletely on board, which I¡¯m not, there is no way in the Void itself that my people will go for it until we know for a fact that it¡¯s worth it¡­ and won¡¯te crashing down onto your slimy heads.¡±

    ¡°And that is my supporter!¡± Karashel eximed with a gooeyugh. ¡°As far as the others go, I have a greedy little wiggle, a sellout, and a fucking monster.¡±

    Veeka desperately tried to not appear interested.

    ¡°The Rill are just milking their customers for all that they are worth and turning into colonizers themselves,¡± Karashel said disapprovingly.

    ¡°You im such knowledge concerning history, and you are surprised?¡± Rillrillrillrill snickered. ¡°Thanks for the payday, fool. Don¡¯t worry. We shall be kind and generous to our colonies in keeping with the (click) noble ideals of our party.¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± Karashel snickered. ¡°And the ¡®noble¡¯ Yuii¡­¡±

    Karashel scoffed.

    ¡°They are days away from announcing a ¡®new partnership¡¯ with their former masters. They waited a whole week before offering to renegotiate the whole goddamn thing! They used my beautiful contract only as leverage!¡±

    ¡°And a much more stable and sustainable arrangement,¡± Councilor Maypawk rumbled. ¡°Revolution is all well and good, Karashel, but your utopian dreamse at a cost that we simply refuse to pay¡­ or inflict. The Federation is wed and deeply so, but it isn¡¯t evil incarnate. One¡¯s fate within it can be quite pleasant and stable, as the good Councilor Veeka is already aware. Well, at least for now.¡±

    He paused as he tossed a small roast fowl into his enormous mouth.

    ¡°We still believe in the <em>principles</em> of the party¡­ in (heh) principle. However, sudden and precipitous change is rarely for the better, and we believe counterproductive in the very important short term. I¡¯ve also studied history, Veeka, even if my conclusions differ from our good chairslug.¡±

    ¡°Pretty words from a pretty sellout,¡± Karashel snickered. ¡°Only the Loo are holding fast to what I <em>thought</em> was our shared vision¡­ almost¡­¡±

    ¡°Within reason, of course,¡± Councilor Longpaw replied as he sipped a tiny ss of wine. ¡°Then again, we are in much the same position, both ideologically and spatially. We don¡¯t have the luxury of position like some of our morecent friends.¡±

    Veeka had to restrain herself from asking what he meant.

    ¡°And, of course, you already know about our ¡®friend¡¯ the Besl,¡± Karashel said with a less than pleasant tone. ¡°They are doing an excellent job of proving Caw correct.¡±

    ¡°Fuck them,¡± Laek~Vet snarled. ¡°They are getting what they deserve, no more and no <em>less</em>.¡±

    ¡°You see what I¡¯m dealing with?¡± Karashel asked with a disappointed sigh. ¡°Of course, we all have our supporters within the greater party as well, each group subscribing to one of our respective stances and multiple variations of the theme. It¡¯s far from what I had envisioned, to be perfectly honest.¡±

    She paused to sip some more sre water.

    ¡°In the end, it looks like the Baleel will have to pursue our real goals alone. Hopefully, the Loo agree to fullmitment in time, but that remains to be seen.¡±

    ¡°Commitment is the right word,¡± Councilor Longpaw giggled, ¡°because your n qualifies you for the mental ward.¡±

    The table broke out into chuckles, clicks, and giggles, Karashel included.

    ¡°Yeah, it is pretty crazy,¡± Karashel bubbled, ¡°But insane circumstances sometimes require insane solutions.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Veeka sighed, ¡°I give up. What the <em>Void</em> are you talking about?¡±

    As Karashel¡¯s eyes shone with victory, the Novux councilor walked up to the table.

    ¡°Prosperity, Equality, and Freedom!¡± he proimed as he clicked his heels together and extended his right arm stiffly outward, fingers outstretched, in a Nazi salute causing Veeka to choke on her stew.

    The table broke out into each species¡¯ version ofughter.

    ¡°Oh, Veeka,¡± the Novuxughed, ¡°You should see your <em>face</em>!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a good one, colonizer,¡± Karashel bubbled. ¡°I might actually use that!¡±

    ¡°Feel free, traitor,¡± the Novux clucked as he set a disposable stic cup on the table and helped himself to one of the bottles of Councilor Maypawk¡¯s finest.

    He raised it to his beak and expertly sucked some up with his tongue.

    ¡°Councilor,¡± he trilled, ¡°excellent as always. If you would just agree to an export agreement, you would be a very wealthy, excuse me, <em>wealthier</em> dump truck.¡±

    Councilor Maypawk rumbled happily.

    ¡°I am honored that one of your renowned tastes finds my meager pressings eptable,¡± he chuckled, ¡°Unfortunately, my vineyard is small, and most of my yearly production is already spoken for. However, there are somerger winemakers on my world who would almost certainly wee visitors from your people.¡±

    ¡°It just so happens that my sister operates a small import business,¡± the Novux trilled, ¡°If you would be so kind as to provide me with their contact information, I will happily pass it along!¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Councilor Maypawk replied, raising his tankard filled with the same potent beverage.

    Karashel¡¯s eyestalks stretched and bent to look around the Novux.

    ¡°Helkie!¡± she eximed, ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that!¡±

    Veeka turned to see Novux blues pushing hovercart after hovercartden with premium fresh produce, thousands of credits worth, into the park.

    ¡°I have it upon good authority that <em>some</em> of my people are taking undue advantage of your generosity,¡± Councilor Helkkakarreai trilled, ¡°and I won¡¯t have it said that the Novux are freeloaders. The Novux always pay their way, Kara.¡±

    He slurped more wine and clucked.

    ¡°Besides, our embassy¡¯s vertical farms were only operating at twenty-five percent. It¡¯s actually not good for them to be so lightly loaded. We just had no need for more food. The only things that product actually costs us are water, energy, and a minute amount of minerals. There are people going hungry in our Federation¡¯s capital, and we have the means to produce literal tons of food. If we didn¡¯t put forth the effort of flipping a few switches for the good of our fellow citizens, we would prove you right, something I simply will not abide.¡±

    He clucked with amusement.

    ¡°Youmon folk are likely more in tune with the rabble than we are, so I trust you will ensure that this waste will be properly disposed of before it spoils.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a decent egg, Helkie,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°But don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll keep it a secret.¡±

    ¡°See that you do,¡± the Novux clucked, ¡°I would hate for our reputation to be tarnished.¡±

    Veeka tried to keep her jaw from dropping as the hover carts continued to be brought in. That was a <em>lot</em> of food, and quite expensive food at that. The Novux were just handing over tons of fresh organic produce, likely mineral-enriched!

    ¡°We can deliver a simr amount about twice a week,¡± the Novux councilor said with just a touch of pride. ¡°or we can break it up into smaller daily deliveries if that would be more convenient.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll talk to our people and have them get in touch with your people,¡± Karashel smiled. ¡°This will feed a lot of people, Helkie.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s of no concern of mine,¡± the Novux shrugged, ¡°I¡¯m just tossing out the garbage. I understand you peons enjoy picking through rich people¡¯s rubbish, so I thought I would just dump it here and save you lowlies the trip.¡±

    ¡°How thoughtful of you,¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed, ¡°Just for that, we¡¯ll put your people against the wall <em>second</em> when the revolutiones.¡±

    ¡°I look forward to it, vermin,¡± the Novux clucked, ¡°I would love the opportunity to teach you miserable seed flickers your ce.¡±

    Rillrillrillrill clicked happily.

    ¡°I like you,¡± she buzzed, ¡°I think we¡¯ll kill youst.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of killing,¡± the Novux said as he produced five ultra-thin tablets and set them in front of Karashel and her associates. ¡°I think you will find our proposal intriguing and our prices quite attractive.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve been over this, Helkie,¡± Karashel bubbleughed, ¡°We don¡¯t agree on much, but I think we are all still not a fan of your ¡®turnkey services¡¯ and your terms and conditions. I¡¯m not freeing my people only to let you turn them into freebor.¡±

    ¡°If you would actually <em>read</em> what I gave you,¡± the Novux councilor chirped, ¡°You would realize that I am not offering your party members our traditional agreement.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Yes, for those of you who don¡¯t have the intelligence toprehend the advantages of our wonderfully advantageous trade agreements, we have¡­ Oh, hello there!¡±

    The Novux looked down and clicked his beak in a smile at a tiny chocte brown ¡°puffball¡± that was looking up at him with big puppy dog eyes.

    ¡°Do you want something?¡± he clucked gently as he knelt and reached in his pocket, producing a single bright red dgaggu berry the size of a golf ball.

    The little puffball started bouncing up and down rapidly, making an excited squeak as it extended two tiny arms so fuzzy they looked like little flippers.

    The little creature grabbed the berry and crinkled its eyes.

    ¡°¡¯nk you!¡± it squeaked and bounced off.

    The Novux clucked happily as it departed.

    Veeka¡¯s jaw dropped. Organic produce was one thing, but dgaggu berries of any size were <em>expensive</em>. One of that quality and size was easily worth a hundred credits!

    ¡°What?¡± the Novux asked when he saw Veeka¡¯s expression. ¡°The little mote loves them, and they don¡¯t cost me anything. That came from my personal auto-garden.¡±

    He made a dismissive flicking gesture with his fingers.

    ¡°There are better ways to grow food than casting seeds on the ground like primitives.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t stand being a decent being for even a second, can you?¡± Maypawk rumbled with a hitching chuckle.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Veeka interjected, ¡°What was that?¡±

    ¡°The void mote?¡± The Novux asked.

    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen one before.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed, ¡°Oh, you always travel in a private cabinplete with servants, don¡¯t you?¡±

    Veeka bristled as everyone, including the Novux,ughed at her.

    It especially stung because it was true.

    ¡°That¡¯s not entirely fair,¡± the Novux clucked, ¡°you never were a spacer, and your ships rarely leave your own little corner of your sector.¡±

    ¡°All spacers know of the poofles,¡± Longpaw chittered.

    ¡°We call them the fuzzbits,¡± Rillrillrillrill said.

    ¡°They go by many names,¡± the Novux said. ¡°The Xvli call them dust bunnies. The humans call them tribbles for some reason. Just about every species has their own name for them. If you ask them what they are, they will tell you your people¡¯s name for them. If they have their own name, they don¡¯t share it. They are weird that way.¡±

    ¡°Are they a Federation species?¡±

    ¡°Not really. They are all over Federation space, but they are also spread throughout the Republic, the Empire, almost all of independent space, and most likely even further than that. As far as where they all came from, nobody knows, and they aren¡¯t telling. If you ask them where they are from, they will tell you the ces they have visited. And if you ask them where they were born, they will tell you some system or another, almost all of them are ones you¡¯ve already heard of but not <em>always</em>.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Longpaw chirped, ¡°They are <em>weird</em>. Nice though. They travel through the gxy by hitching rides on ships or stowing away. They are <em>really</em> good at that, not that they have to. Just about everyone will let one hop one of their ships.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed, ¡°They are considered lucky. Trips just seem to go more smoothly if one is on board, and they never make a mess or damage anything. We are always happy to give one a lift.¡±

    ¡°Anyone with any sense is,¡± the Novux nodded.

    ¡°Why?¡± Veeka asked.

    ¡°Because they are <em>lucky</em>,¡± the Novux replied. ¡°It¡¯s definitely a sign of good fortune if one shows up.¡±

    Longpaw and Rillrillrillrill both nodded sagely.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know about them either until they started showing up,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°I just thought they were some sort of local fauna. I was going to shoo them away until Rillrill damn near bit me in half.¡±

    ¡°Moron¡­¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed. ¡°Fortunately, I was able to intercept you before you made an embarrassment of us all. Someone else would have stopped you, but <em>they</em> would have talked.¡±

    ¡°Forgive me for not being some void-crazed spacer,¡± Karashel giggled. ¡°I¡¯m d I didn¡¯t, though. They are really nice. I just like having them around, you know.¡±

    ¡°Did you know that on our <em>first</em> interster voyage, we were graced with a mote?¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± both Longpaw and Rillrillrillrill asked.

    ¡°Yes! About halfway into our first trade mission, the galley master turned on the lights in the kitchen to find a void mote carefully going through thepost bin. He had absolutely no idea what it was, but it seemed friendly enough. So he handed it a vetlip root and called the captain. He didn¡¯t know what it was either, so they gave it a box and a nket and started calling around. It didn¡¯t take long to get a reply, and we were told it was a very good omen and that the motes had blessed us. Turns out that that first mission was a historic sess and paved the way for everything that followed. Of course, it¡¯s likely just a coincidence, but the motes have been quite well regarded by the Novux ever since.¡±

    He preened.

    ¡°And our ships are quite regrly blessed by them, and our homeworld has a veryrge mote presence. There may be as many as a hundred on our world at any given time.¡±

    ¡°Falsehood!¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed.

    ¡°It¡¯s impossible to know for sure, of course,¡± the Novux clucked smugly, ¡±but if you go to any one of our cities, you will likely see at least one of them going through the trash. We even build little mote houses in our yards or have mote doors built into our very homes.¡±

    ¡°There is no way a fuzzbit would ever enter one of your stinky perches.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± the Novux clucked as he pulled out hismunicator. ¡°Care to exin this then? It was posted justst week.¡±

    It showed a void mote happily sitting in somebody¡¯s kitchen, munching on some sort of leaf.

    ¡°Clearly doctored,¡± the Rill scoffed¡­

    ¡­and then asked, ¡°So, you just make small doors for them?¡±

    ¡°Yes, and if they realize that they are wee, they might just drop by,¡± the Novux preened. ¡°We put a little picture of a mote over the door. It seems to help. Though, to be honest, they usually just sleep outside like they always do. We do seem to attract a lot of them, though.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed. ¡°I will pass that along. Thank you, fellow colonizer,¡± she buzzed, causing Karashel¡¯s eyestalks to twitch with irritation, much to the Rill¡¯s pleasure.

    ¡°Are they all that <em>small</em>?¡± Veeka asked, ¡°I infer that they are sapient, but their cranial capacity must be tiny.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that was a young juvenile,¡± the Novux clucked, ¡°There¡¯s an adult over there, talking to that Y¡¯keen,¡± he said as he indicated one of that elder race with his beak. ¡°The Y¡¯keen often chat with them, though nobody knows exactly what they are saying, if they are saying anything at all. Whatevernguage they use is not in any database or archive, and neither race is especially forting.¡±

    The Novux shrugged a very human shrug.

    ¡°It¡¯s just one of those mysteries. You should try to get to know them, Veeka. It¡¯s definitely worth the effort¡­ sometimes. A good eighty percent of what they say is nonsense, but that other twenty percent¡­ legal tender.¡±

    The Novux cocked his head.

    ¡°And speaking of legal tender,¡± he trilled seductively, ¡°As I was saying, my dear anarchists, if you review the documents I have provided, you will see quotes for various items of interestpletely independent of any trade agreements, capital expense, or any other long term obligation. You tell us what you want and how much, and you get it, either one container or a shipload.¡±

    <em>¡°Really?¡±</em> Karashel blurped. ¡°That is both very interesting and very unlike you.¡±

    ¡°Of course, we would be willing to negotiate discounts for both bulk purchases and <em>subscriptions</em> where a certain volume is purchased over a pre-determined time period. But neither is necessary.¡±

    ¡°Why the change?¡± Rillrillrillrill buzzed suspiciously. ¡°I thought you sphincters only sold capital equipment with that stupid padlock firmware and licensing rot.¡±

    ¡°Changing times require change,¡± the Novux trilled, ¡°Adapt or perish. Or, at the very least, miss out on the opportunity for significant profit. You five represent an ever-growing group of systems that have both sessfully broken their admittedly disadvantageous trade agreements <em>and</em> are not overly eager to enter into new ones. However, the majority of those systems, yours included, do not have sufficient industrial development. This deficiency is your big weakness and one that is already driving some of your party members right back into trade agreements they do not want. Of course, your distressingly good legal resources and negotiators, as well as intelligence gathering and data processing capabilities that we still cannot exin, do serve to ensure that your members are getting very different terms than before. Still, I strongly suspect that many of them would much rather simply buy what they want instead of entering into an agreement at all.¡±

    He preened.

    ¡°The Novux trade group has <em>significant</em> unused industrial capacity. Many of our customers¡¯ industrial facilities are not operating at anything close to full capacity or could be easily upgraded. In fact, most of them would be all too happy for the additional production and their share of the profits. One recent addition to the Novux family is particrly unfortunate and could easily amodate any number of <em>new</em> facilities, provide thebor to man them, <em>and would be delighted to do so</em>.¡±

    He sighed.

    ¡°And privately, they really need the boost, poor guys. Themunalists could gain ess to the high-tech goods <em>and weapons</em> that their systems need, and they could actually start developing an economy again¡­ <em>And that¡¯s just one system!</em>¡±

    ¡°Weapons?!?¡± Veeka blurted, her voice squeaking with rm, ¡°Helkkakarreai, you can¡¯t be serious! You would <em>arm</em> these people?¡±

    ¡°Someone will,¡± he replied, ¡°It might as well be us. Who would you rather they get arms from, the Terrans? <em>The Forsaken?</em> Besides, Veeka, times are¡­ I would say uncertain, but there is no longer thatfort. These people need weapons, both light and heavy, as well as ships. If you honestly do not know why then you are NOT the intelligent being I have respected for years.¡±

    ¡°But they are a threat to the Federation itself!¡± Veeka chittered and then fell into shocked silence as the entire group, the Novux included,ughed at her.

    ¡°Oh, Veeka,¡± Karashel giggled, ¡°You are such a beeminin. They are a scrumptious little¡­ I don¡¯t think most worlds have a simr critter, but they are about a kilogram of tasty a piece. They are very quick, but when they run, they don¡¯t pay attention to much else. All you gotta do is put a snare across one of their runs. They are so worried about some noise or shadow that they never see the wire. Then, it¡¯s lunchtime!¡±

    Karashel looked at Veeka with weary, almost haunted eyes.

    ¡°While it is true that I <em>loathe</em> the Federation and will truly enjoy watching it burn, <em>I don¡¯t have to do a single thing to make that happen</em>. The Federation is breathing itsst. I¡¯m not in the least bit concerned about the Federation, you, or anything else except the <em>survival of my people</em>. The same goes for everyone at this table, except the Besl, who are fixated on revenge.¡±

    ¡°And what we tear from the bleeding corpse of our former oppressors will go a long way towards that survival,¡± Laek~Vet hissed as he picked up the tablet in front of him. ¡°Especially if Helkie over here is telling the truth. All we need is cash, and <em>that</em> we have.¡±

    ¡°I am trying to find an error, there,¡± Karashel bubbled, ¡°But you do have a point, a soulless psychopathic point, but a point.¡±

    Laek~Vet shrugged.

    ¡°As I have repeatedly said, It¡¯s not my call. My people cry out for vengeance, and vengeance they will get. Either my government will provide it, or the next one will. So what I actually feel about the matter is of little relevance. However, what I actually feel about the matter does not spoil my meals nor deprive me of slumber,¡± he added with a little smirk. ¡°As I have also repeatedly said, fuck them.¡±

    ¡°And, just as we, and the <em>Federation</em>,¡± the Novux councilor said, cutting his eyes at Veeka, ¡°overlooked the injustices inflicted upon your people, the Novux do not care about your domestic policies nor trade agreements with other systems. Business is business, my good Besl. We¡¯ve had conversations that you most likely do not wish discussed here. I have new information that you may find of interest. Feel free to call upon our embassy at your convenience.¡±

    Veeka¡¯s heart froze in her chest. She hade here looking for signs of instability and weakness. Instead, she knew with terrifying certainty that the Communalists had <em>won</em>. If the Novux were starting to deal with them, it would only be a matter of time before others did as well.

    It was <em>over</em>.

    ¡°I have something for you, Rillrillrillrill,¡± the Novux said as he reached into another pocket, pulled out a small brown paperboard box, and handed it to her.

    Rillrillrillrill opened it and clicked with curiosity as she pulled out a quiterge rifle round and buzzed.

    ¡°Pretty,¡± she clicked, ¡°but, as I have stated, we prefer to keep our weapons industry in-house. The Rill have no desire to be dependent on anyone for our defense, <em>especially</em> the Novux.¡±

    She syed her mandibles in a smile.

    ¡°No offense.¡±

    ¡°None taken,¡± the Novux trilled, ¡°However, that is one of your rifle rounds made with <em>Terran</em> level technology. It has a simr propent to theirs, and the projectile is equivalent to theirtest stuff. The pressure should be about the same as your current ammunition with a reduction in barrel temperature. Considering the power and caliber of thispared to what they use, it should be even more devastating than the Terran rifle. It would be a <em>significant</em> increase in your firepower with a per-round costpetitive to what it costs you to produce your ammunition. We are willing to discuss en masse purchases <em>or</em> the sale of single-purpose production equipment that would allow you to make <em>these</em> at any quantity you desire.¡±

    The Novux preened again.

    ¡°My dear Rill,¡± he trilled, ¡°We can <em>bury</em> you in these. We can make them by the shipload. We can bury you so deep in them that you will be able to fire nonstop for <em>years</em>.¡±

    Rillrillrillrill buzzed thoughtfully. ¡°I dislike you. I mistrust you. However¡­¡±

    ¡°I have ten thousand rounds at the embassy,¡± the Novux clucked. ¡°As the Terrans say, the first taste is free. You don¡¯t have to pay a single credit. Just bring a van. We¡¯ll even load it for you.¡±

    ¡°Why not,¡± Rillrillrillrill shrugged. ¡°Free ammo is free ammo. Let¡¯s see how nice these things truly are.¡±

    ¡°We would also like to discuss a licensing agreement for your rifles and machine guns,¡± the Novux clucked. ¡°Creators knows why, but slugthrowers are all the rage, and you have a nice one.¡±

    ¡°That decision is not mine to make,¡± Rillrillrillrill replied, ¡°But I will pass it along. More guns are better than less, no?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s our thinking,¡± the Novux said with a look in his eye that sent a chill all the way down Veeka¡¯s spine to the tip of her tail. ¡°It¡¯s probably all for nothing, but let¡¯s not make it easy for them.¡±

    Rillrillrillrill buzzed ominously and expanded her hood.

    ¡°Indeed,¡± she rattled.

    ¡°Maybe with enough of us,¡± Karashel bubbled grimly, ¡°We might have a shot, or will at least be able to slow things down enough that enough of our people can¡­ well¡­ I <em>hate</em> nning on defeat, so I¡¯m not,¡± she added with a much happier tone.

    ¡°What is going on?¡± Veeka asked, filled with dread.

    ¡°Allow me,¡± the Novux clucked. ¡°She is more likely to believe it from my corrupt beak.¡±

    He looked directly into her eyes.

    ¡°The Federation is rotten to the core. It is a gourd with a beautiful skin but bursts as soon as you try to lift it, covering you with stink. You know it. I know it¡­ These dirt farmers know it. It has failed. Those of us who have profited and continue to profit refuse to see it because, unlike those who share this table, we haven¡¯t tasted the stink, not yet. However, when the timees, that gourd will burst. It failed to protect itself during the Republic war. It is failing to stop the Forsaken. The Collective is <eming</em>, Veeka. If the Federation cannot thwart the Republic or the Forsaken, it will not survive the Collective. It will <em>burn</em>. <em>That</em> is why Karashel no longer cares about our oh-so-precious Federation. She <em>knows</em> it will <em>die</em> without her lifting a single tendril. Once she saved her people from management, which would certainly have doomed them when the buges, her interest in the Federation, for the most part, ended.¡±

    He looked over at Karashel and nodded.

    ¡°She ys another game now.¡±

    The Novux hissed, a menacing sound Veeka had never heard from one of their kind.

    ¡°And so do we.¡±

    ¡°So do a lot of people, Veeka,¡± Longpaw squeaked as he refilled his ss. ¡°Soon, very soon, you are going to have to choose. What is more important, the Federation or your people?¡±

    He smiled a feral fangden smile as he savored Councilor Maypawk¡¯s wine (it¡¯s pretty damn good).

    ¡°If you honestly feel that the Federation is a good bet,¡± he snorted, ¡°then bet your people¡¯s very lives on it. If you don¡¯t, then why don¡¯t you grab another bowl, refill your ss, <em>drop the fucking attitude</em>, and have a pleasant afternoon enjoying fresh air, goodpany, and very, very interesting conversation?¡±

    Veeka sighed and lowered her head.

    The Loo was right. Everything they had said, she had been <em>screaming</em> for far too long to far too many disinterested, fat, corrupt,zy¡­

    <em>It was over, wasn¡¯t it?</em>

    ¡°It isn¡¯t an either/or decision, Veeka,¡± Karashel said pleasantly, ¡°<em>You</em> don¡¯t have tomit treason, murder, or anything of the sort. Everyone here is now in a position where we <em>benefit</em>, at least in the short term, from the Federation sucking the way it sucks. So just have a drink and grab some more stew, Z¡¯uush barbecue, or some of those groceries Helkie just brought. That stuff looks <em>nice</em>.¡±

    Veeka closed her eyes and sighed.

    ¡°So where is this Z¡¯uush barbecue?¡± she asked, trying not to burst into tears.

 Chapter 268: Tea, Sympathy, Cows, and Guns! (one of two)

    Chapter 268: Tea, Sympathy, Cows, and Guns! (one of two)

    Charlotte, sounding a lot like a Peterbilt, rumbled happily to herself as she checked the temperature of one of the water tanks, each containing water of a specific temperature and chemicalposition.

    She then ced a small pour-over filter filled with a specific blend of freshly ground coffee beans, minerals, and eggshells underneath one of a row of spigots and adjusted a needle valve to deliver the appropriate flow rate.

    She then repeated the process with another cup and filter containing a <em>different</em> blend of coffee and minerals <em>without</em> eggshells.

    She looked out over her little caffeinated empire and rumbled a bit more loudly, unintentionally startling one of the newer customers.

    She would need to add more tables again!

    While humans were <em>terrible</em> at quantifying <em>anything</em>, they seemed to be able to recognize and appreciate her efforts to make a passable product¡­ And word was spreading! She was no longer just serving some locals, the workers at the Drop, and the local constabry. People wereing here, some from across the city, for her product!

    Even better, some of them were ¡°snobs¡± who <em>could</em> not only notice and quantify the subtle differences between cups, they could offer advice, knowledge, and techniques.

    She wasn¡¯t the only person dedicated to the art and science of extracting the rightpounds from such a challenging substrate!

    There was even a subgroup on this wonderful website called ¡°Seenit,¡± where they would congregate and share their enthusiasm, knowledge, and ¡°snobbery¡±!

    It was¡­ <em>wonderful!</em> There were people even more obsessed with perfection than she was!

    With the miracle that was cheap and rapid transportation in the Republic, coffee snobs could travel across the entire in hours. It meant that one could take an excursion to the other side of the world just to visit a particr shop or caf¨¦!

    Oh, how she loved her days off now! What was even more wonderful was the fact that the proprietor of the shop was almost always aware of the impending arrival of the ¡°coffee monster¡± and was eitherpletely at ease with her appearance or, at the very least, forewarned.

    Meeting kindred spirits, joined together in the hunt for that perfect cup, was splendid beyond words. It nourished her very soul the same way that this wonderful ce did when she, alone and having lost the trailpletely, wandered in from the darkness.

    She rumbled even louder, causing the neer to back away.

    ¡°That just means she¡¯s happy!¡± Neeph, wearing a poofy white hat and chest protector, eximed as she scurried up with a box filled with biofilm packages strapped to her back.

    ¡°Neeph!¡± Charlotte eximed happily as she started preparing Neeph¡¯s usual order. ¡°How lovely to see you. I hope your newfound sess isn¡¯t detracting too much from your studies.¡±

    ¡°Only a little,¡± Neeph replied as she pulled out a huge bundle of dumplings and handed them to her teacher. ¡°I changed the mix on these a little. Let me know what you think.¡±

    ¡°I look forward to both tasting and analyzing them!¡± Charlotte rumbled as she pulled out a card. ¡°You may not realize it, but you are rendering my people a great service¡­ and one that may make you even more sessful. These little morsels are actually capable of sustaining our metabolism and are absolutely delicious! I simply can NOT believe that they are meat-free!¡±

    ¡°You can do a lot with cheap crap,¡± Neeph replied. ¡°The Terrans talk about polishing a turd. My family actually had to make them edible!¡±

    ¡°We coulda used you during the Wars, Neeph,¡± a grizzled old woman said as she trotted up, card in hand. ¡°Your bug balls are <em>amazing</em>!¡±

    ¡°Besh!¡± Neeph eximed as she rooted around in her box. ¡°Here you go, twenty-four number fifteens with extra crickets!¡±

    A quick transactionter, and Besh trotted away, happily holding a package of little bundles of delicious from Neeph¡¯s homeworld.

    Neeph squeaked happily as a cup of chicory, ck tea, andvender was set in front of her.

    ¡°Oh, that hits the spot!¡± she eximed. ¡°I¡¯ve been up since <em>three in the morning</em>. You know, all those days I moped around the Drop wishing I had more work, maybe I should have been more careful in what I wished for.¡±

    ¡°The Blood God was too gracious in granting your prayers for game?¡± Charlotte chuckled.

    ¡°Yeah, right up the butt,¡± Neeph replied, causing Charlotte tough out loud, making even her regrs jump a little.

    ¡°Neeph,¡± Charlotte said, her tone changing, ¡°It is not for me to tell you how to stalk your prey, but I must caution you concerning your hunt-sister.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡±

    ¡°I understand that you have entered into some dealings with Uhrrbet.¡±

    ¡°Yeah! She¡¯s great!¡±

    Charlotte rumbled dubiously.

    ¡°I much choose my words carefully,¡± Charlotte said, ¡°I like Uhrrbet a great deal¡­¡±

    ¡°I do, too!¡±

    ¡°I like her because I sense in her a <em>kindred spirit</em>,¡± Charlotte said carefully, ¡°Uhrrbet is a <em>predator</em> and a very <em>fit</em> one. However, her hunting grounds are here, on these streets. And, instead of using fang and w, she uses words, both from her mouth and on the glowing screen, the same words she uses with <em>you</em>. Be very careful in your dealings with her, Neeph. I would be saddened if her small jaw filled with <em>very sharp</em> teeth found its way around your throat.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s not like that!¡± Neeph said. ¡°Once she realized what I was using her no credit check payday loans for, she stopped giving them to me and started trying to teach me about business stuff. I had no idea there even was a special loan for business! She then took me to see Mister ATM!¡±

    ¡°Mister ATM?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s the ATM over near her shop. They¡¯re friends!¡±

    ¡°I am a neer here,¡± Charlotte said, ¡°so I may be misunderstanding your words. Is an ATM not the money boxes one finds on the street like the one that Craxina had put in here?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! Uhrrbet is friends with one! He¡¯s really nice! You know how Zip and the Unified cabs are? Mister ATM is the same way! I had no idea you could talk to the orange ATMs! They are really friendly.¡±

    Neeph giggled.

    ¡°Mister ATM and Uhrrbet got in a fight and everything! He called her a predator, too!¡±

    ¡°Really?¡±

    ¡°He wasn¡¯t happy about her ¡®loan sharking,¡¯ which made Uhrrbet mad. She said that if Mister ATM would give everyone who came to her bank ounts and credit cards, she would quit the same day. Well! That shut up Mister ATM up real quick! She said some other things, too,¡± Neeph added with a giggle. ¡°Anyway, after they finished yelling at each other, Uhrrbet introduced me and said how good my dumplings were and how popr they were getting. Then she told him that I had been going to her too often for loans and how she thought I was in some sort of trouble, but when she found out I was buying ingredients for the next order and then paying her back, she sent me over to him to set things up right! She gave him a data crystal with something called rough numbers on it, and the subject changed real quick!¡±

    Neeph took a quick sip of her brew.

    ¡°Oh, Creators, Charlotte! I¡¯m going to be able to get one of those food carts¡­ a <em>food cart</em>! Uhrrbet says I should skip that nonsense and started talking all sorts of craziness.¡±

    ¡°Craziness?¡±

    ¡°She started talking about shops and licensing and production and all sorts of other things that made my head hurt.¡±

    ¡°What did Mister ATM say?¡± Charlotte asked dubiously. She had ssmates a lot like Uhrrbet. They were wonderful to their schoolmates, but to what they considered prey...

    There was the love of the hunt and healthy bloodlust¡­

    ¡­and then there was <em>cruelty</em>. There was being clever, and then there was <em>poaching</em>. She wasn¡¯t sure what ¡°poaching¡± would entail in Uhrrbet¡¯s strange hunt, but she was pretty sure Uhrrbet was doing it.

    Different biome, same smell. It was something about the eyes. They reminded her of something that used to hunt <em>her</em> once in a way that no other being, no matter how strange, did.

    ¡°He started talking with Uhrrbet about all sorts of stuff I didn¡¯t understand for a bit and then said that Uhrrbet, while ¡®ambitious to a fault,¡¯ was not wrong. However, it would not be her name on the loan. It would be <em>mine</em>, and I shouldn¡¯t let anyone, ¡®no matter how well-intentioned,¡¯ push me into something I didn¡¯t want to do. So¡­ I told him I wanted a food cart, and I started talking all about the cart, which one I wanted, what I would put on it, and even what color it would be! Mister ATM said that it sounded like a great idea!... <em>Charlotte! I¡¯m getting a food cart!!!¡±</em>

    ¡°How did Uhrrbet take it when you didn¡¯t want to follow her trail?¡±

    ¡°She justughed and told me that whenever I got tired of being small-time, to see her. She also said I could drop by any time with business questions and stuff. She asked Mister ATM about scbility and about something called franchising, and Mister ATM said that it was more than possible but that maybe we should see how the first food cart fared before I started trying to operate more of them which was weird. I asked how in the void I could run more than one cart at a time.¡±

    ¡°A very valid question,¡± Charlotte agreed. ¡°I cannot see what a second coffee stand would provide me other than vexation. What was their answer?¡±

    ¡°Well, they were both quiet for a few seconds, and then Uhrrbet said that it was probably best that I start out with just the one cart. She promised Mister ATM that she would keep an eye on me, which made Mister ATM happy. Charlotte! I¡¯m getting a food cart!!!¡±

    ¡°As you have said,¡± Charlotte rumbled as she refilled Neeph¡¯s cup (she always made enough for a refill), ¡°So, when are you getting it?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Neeph said, ¡°Mister ATM gave me all of this homework, more than you ever have. I also have to take some sses, but they are online, and I can do them at that library you told me about. Then, I have to take a test so I can get a license to make and sell food, and then I have to get another license to run a business and <em>another</em> license to run a food cart and¡­ Oh Charlotte, there are so many ¡®and¡¯s¡¯¡­¡±

    ¡°It sounds like quite the trail.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it is,¡± Neeph said, ¡°But I have Mister ATM and Uhrrbet to help me follow it, and the homework is just remembering a bunch of stuff, not hard stuff like you teach. Uhrrbet says that all I really have to learn is where to look stuff up when I forget.¡±

    Charlotte rumbled.

    ¡°That isn¡¯t your happy rumble. What?¡±

    ¡°Sloppy schrship,¡± Charlotte said disapprovingly, ¡°I understand that time is a concern, but please do not be satisfied with simply bing a ¡®library professor¡¯. I cannot abide those.¡±

    ¡°A library professor?¡±

    ¡°Yes, a schr who is only capable of performing while in the library because they don¡¯t actually <em>know</em> the material. Being one of those will allow you to pass a test and, with theputers the Republic has, you can most likely always have your library with you, but true knowledge, mastery, and most importantly, the <em>ability to use it</em>es from eating the words, absorbing them, and making them a part of you. If you wish to hunt from a food cart, then <em>know</em> the food cart. I suspect Uhrrbet does not need to look up the fundamentals of hunting her prey¡­ regardless of what she is stalking.¡±

    ¡°Sorry?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°It¡¯s just that Uhrrbet reminds me of certain hunt brothers and sisters, which is not necessarily a good thing. This is a strange and new biome, so I may be mistaken. But, just the same¡­ Be mindful around her, and allow me to remind you that Craxina also knows a great deal about running a business, as does Littlefoot <em>and</em> Mister ATM. It never hurts to verify a source, Neeph. I would rather you learn this from my words than from another¡¯s teeth.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­¡± Neeph replied.

    Hermunicator beeped.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s Uhrrbet! She can have lunch with me after all! We are going to talk about something called inventory management!¡±

    ¡°How wonderful¡­¡± Charlotte rumbled dubiously.

    ***

    Littlefoot grinned as she fired off another burst, ripping the center out of the target, her little body shaking violently.

    ¡°Well, goddamn,¡± rence said as the target was reeled in. ¡°That is a nice group, even from a human.¡±

    Littlefoot grinned at him.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take it!¡± she eximed. ¡°I would like it with a stock like my Little Buddy, that nice Tetraoptic holosight, and¡­ hmm¡­ what do you think, suppressor orpensator?¡±

    ¡°It depends on the range you are expecting to not have to use this,¡± rence replied, ¡°I would also put a different stock on it. I still can¡¯t believe you can handle a nine-millimeter submachine gun.¡±

    ¡°Well, I can <em>now</em>,¡± Littlefoot giggled. ¡°I might not look like it, but I doe from a line of warriors.¡±

    ¡°Are you <em>sure</em> you don¡¯t want a five-millimeter wasp or a ssic five-seven?¡±

    ¡°They are both sexy, sexy beasts,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°But I like the payload of the nine better, and the price of range ball doesn¡¯t hurt either. I hope I never have to use the good bullets, but I do loveing here!¡±

    ¡°Fair enough,¡± rence replied. ¡°Speaking of price, have you thought more about reloading?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d love to,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°It¡¯s just that I don¡¯t have a lot of space and¡­¡±

    A little white-scaled skink-like biped wandered into the range.

    ¡°Hello?¡± it asked nervously.

    ¡°rence,¡± Littlefoot said, ¡°This is Bethany. Don¡¯t even <em>try</em> to say her real name. Bethany, this is rence, the <em>only</em> person I go to for things that go bang! Bethany is going to inherit my Little Buddy and my revolver. I brought her here so you could get started on the species conversions and to look at her hands. She¡¯s having trouble with the grip on both.¡±

    ¡°Hi,¡± she said nervously.

    ¡°rence is one of the good ones!¡± Littlefoot eximed, putting her arm around rence¡¯s leg entirely too high up for hisfort. ¡°He won¡¯t rip you off, and he knows his stuff!¡±

    She looked up at him.

    ¡°She¡¯s never touched a weapon before, so I wanted to be sure she has the right stuff. I want whatever Buddy needs to have done, done, and look at the revolver. I¡¯m not sure it¡¯s the best thing for her. I¡¯m only giving it to her because I¡¯m not using it anymore, so if she needs something else, let¡¯s get it done!¡±

    ¡°But Littlefoot¡­¡± Bethany said nervously, ¡°I don¡¯t have much money yet, and¡­¡±

    ¡°And nothing!¡± Littlefoot eximed, ¡°I <em>do</em> have money, and <em>you</em> are getting decent gear. I¡¯m getting rid of Buddy and the revolver, anyway.¡±

    ¡°About that,¡± rence said, ¡°are you sure about the new pistol? That thing is going to kick like a mule and isn¡¯t nearly as conceble.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t need it conceble,¡± Littlefoot replied. ¡°I don¡¯t have time for clients anymore. I¡¯m too busy herding the sheep and managing the front these days.¡±

    ¡°I thought Craxina ran the ce.¡±

    ¡°She does,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°And she is busy too, but Craxi has <em>needs</em> and gets grouchy if she doesn¡¯t get her itchies scratchied on the regr¡­ And she has be so popr and famous that she brings the serious cash these days. One of her ¡¯fur dances¡¯ alone brings in a ton. She does a couple of clients a day, and that¡¯s enough to shift our bottom line! Someone needs to be trusted with the office phone, and that person would be me.¡±

    ¡°Fur dances?¡­ Forget it. I don¡¯t want to know.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Littlefoot sighed, ¡°I¡¯m on sry now, and the pay cut kinda blows, but it¡¯s steady, and someone has to keep the ce and Craxi on an even keel now that Bryce is gone. I know he¡¯s slime, but damn if he wasn¡¯t useful. Anyway, something on my hip and out in the open isn¡¯t the worst thing, if you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± rence shrugged, ¡°If you are sure. There is a snub-nosed .380 under over on the block this week. I will see if I can get it. It belonged to a peace officer and was carried as an off-duty piece. The stunner is police issue, and you im you can handle the recoil if we modify it properly. It¡¯s going to be <em>massive</em>, though¡­ at least for you.¡±

    ¡°Get it!¡±

    ¡°How high do you want me to go?¡±

    ¡°Get it!¡±

    ¡°Littlefoot¡­¡±

    ¡°Fine, two thousand. Happy?¡±

    ¡°That should more than do it,¡± rence replied. ¡°I¡¯ll submit our bid today.¡±

    ¡°Woo!¡±

    ¡°Okay!¡± Littlefoot enthused, ¡°Let¡¯s get Bethany set up¡­¡±

    As rence and an increasingly rxed and excited Bethany, now reassured that Littlefoot was what was called a ¡®gun nut¡¯ and that there were many self-defense options that wouldn¡¯t hurt you almost as badly as your assant, were chatting, Littlefoot¡¯s phone rang.

    ¡°Drop of Oil, if you want it, we got it!¡±

    ¡°Hey, Littlefoot,¡± Craxina said, ¡°You might want to cut it short and get back here.¡±

    ¡°Damn, Craxina, how much fucking do you need?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not for me,¡± Craxinaughed, ¡°It¡¯s for you. You have someone here asking for you by name, cute too!¡±

    ¡°Did you tell him that I was off and toe back tomorrow?¡±

    ¡°I did, but he said that he would wait and that he would pay you a grand if you agreed to see him today¡­ before any other negotiations! It¡¯s a thousand credits just to say hello. I wouldn¡¯t normally bug you on a day off but¡­ a thousand credits! I figured you would at least want to hear about it.¡±

    ¡°Well, I <em>am</em> buying new guns¡­¡±

    ¡°Again?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m selling Buddy and Thumper to some of the girls and upgrading the pea shooter.¡±

    ¡°Selling or giving?¡±

    ¡°Is there a difference?¡± Littlefootughed. ¡°We want to keep the reputation of being well-armed, don¡¯t we?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but you don¡¯t need to sponsor it personally. Youing in?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but tell Mister Blue Balls it¡¯s going to be a few hours, though. rence is taking Bethany¡¯s measurements.¡±

    ¡°Will do. Later!¡±

    ¡°Bye!¡±

    ¡°Is there a problem?¡± Bethany asked.

    ¡°Nothing you need to worry about,¡± Littlefoot shrugged, ¡°and nothing that will stop your appointment with the good Master rence here.¡±

    ***

    Charlotte rumbled about the bar and nced at the clock.

    It was about lunchtime. Neeph would soon be dining with Uhrrbet.

    This was quite the dilemma. Neeph shouldn¡¯t be shielded from the just and true judgment of natural selection¡­

    ¡­however, she was one of her swarm <em>and</em> an underssman to boot. Not only was she an underssman, but she was one of <em>her</em> underssmen.

    Underssmen fell on hunts. It was part of the holy scourge, the Blood God¡¯s w that sliced away the weak and corrupted flesh and thus kept the swarm fresh, healthy, and strong. This world, while strange beyond words, was a biome and the biome in which Neeph hunted and hid.

    If Uhrrbet did view her not as a sister but as prey, and if Neeph fell to her hidden form, much more dangerous than what was revealed by the light of day, then that was in keeping with the judgment of the fairest court in the universe, natural selection. Uhrrbet was more fit than Neeph. Of that, Charlotte was certain. Uhrrbet was a Vtrag and Neeph was a¡­ well¡­ a Neeph¡­

    Maybe she should¡­

    <em>What was she thinking?!?</em>

    She should do <em>nothing</em>. This was Neeph¡¯s hunt¡­ and Uhrrbet¡¯s¡­ maybe¡­ She squirted out a warning, and that was not only sufficient but actually pushing it. Also, how could she doubt her swarm mate and hunt sister like that? Neeph was <em>fit</em>. If she was not, she would not have been able to hold to the path like so many others had failed to do. Even <em>considering</em> intervening was not only unthinkable but <em>sphemous</em>.

    All she could and <em>should</em> do was wish Neeph well and pray to the Blood God that her hunt was a sess, regardless of the size of the game or what stalks the path.

    She rumbled ruefully.

    Perhaps all of this single-breeding nonsense was starting to corrupt her somehow. She should call her molt brother. How he wouldugh at her foolishness.

    Besides, she needed a good outside (and sane) perspective to keep her grounded.

    It was too easy to lose the path out here.

    ***

    ¡°No,¡± Littlefoot said as she crossed her little arms, ¡°One thousand credits, please.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t even heard my proposal,¡± a well-dressed man with glossy ck hair said with amusement.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need to,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°If you are willing to pay a grand just for me to <em>hear</em> it, then it has to be some <em>freaky</em> shit that I am NOT into.¡±

    The man pulled out a prepaid with ¡®1000 cr.¡¯ disyed.

    ¡°Nice doing business with you,¡± Littlefoot said as she reached for the card.

    The man raised it just out of reach.

    ¡°Now, that¡¯s just rude,¡± Littlefoot said and turned away, ¡°Oh, Maaaaaven Hulllleeeeennnnnnaaaaaa¡­¡± she called to one of the nicely dressed (and armed) Careel loitering nearby. ¡°Iiiiii have a liiiiive one for youuuuu¡­¡±

    ¡°I would like to take you to dinner, just dinner, in a public ce and introduce you to someone in that public andpletely safe ce. That¡¯s it, just a nice meal and your¡­ lovely¡­pany,¡± he said as the Careel war-maven approached with a wickedly happy little smile and several of her fellow death-sex-weasels.

    ¡°Fifty thousand,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°and I¡¯m bringing a friend.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?!?¡± the man spluttered.

    ¡°You clearly don¡¯t know what ¡®no¡¯ means,¡± Littlefoot said as Maven Hullena unsnapped the catch to the sheath for her monowire cuss. ¡°You are one of those ¡®everyone has their price¡¯ assholes. So, my price for something I clearly have no interest in doing is fifty thousand. Either pay up in advance or hand me the card and fuck off. I strongly suggest you do one or the other before Maven Fuck Up Your Entire Day gets here.¡±

    ¡°Very well, fifty thousand.¡±

    ¡°Fifty-<em>one</em> thousand, asshole,¡± Littlefoot said, reaching for the card again.

    ¡°Of course,¡± the man replied as he handed her the card.

    ¡°And I¡¯ll want the other fifty before I set one dainty little paw off of this lot.¡±

    The man pulled out hismunicator and briefly typed.

    The number on Littlefoot¡¯s card promptly changed to 51000 credits.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Littlefoot gasped, ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d actually <em>do</em> it!¡±

    ¡°A vehicle will arrive here at seven PM.¡±

    ¡°Oh no,¡± Littlefoot chortled, ¡°No way that¡¯s going to fucking happen. You will send me an address and a time and my friend and I will meet you there. My friend has a <em>big</em> appetite and will need a <em>significant</em> amount of <em>real</em> raw meat. If her te goes empty, the date is over. It better not be the cheap shit, either. She has a very refined pte.¡±

    ¡°Your friend wouldn¡¯t be the lovely being who poured my coffee a short time ago, would she?¡±

    ¡°Oh! You¡¯ve met her!¡± Littlefoot beamed.

    ¡°I may have to change the restaurant,¡± the man replied. ¡°You are a very annoying little shit. Do you know that?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not the one trying to get a gentle little flower to do something she doesn¡¯t want, dickweed,¡± Littlefoot said demurely with big eyes. ¡°Oh, just so you know, I¡¯m going to be packing. My friend isn¡¯ting to back me up. She¡¯sing to get rid of the evidence¡­ if you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°Charming to a fault,¡± the man said with a smile. ¡°I have no idea why I was expecting otherwise. If you would give me your contact details, I will send you information concerning the location of our rendezvous.¡±

    ¡°Oh, and it better not be any freaky shit, or I walk¡­ with the cash.¡±

    ¡°For fifty thousand, I would think¡­¡±

    ¡°You thought wrong, mushroom dick. No freaky shit.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± the man said, ¡°no freaky shit, though that really leaves this agreement open to abuse.¡±

    ¡°Again,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°you wouldn¡¯t fuck off, so you get the fuck off price and the fuck off terms.¡±

    The man smiled.

    ¡°I still need your details.¡±

    ¡°Call the main number.¡±

 Chapter 269: Tea, Sympathy, Cows, and Guns! (two of two)

    Chapter 269: Tea, Sympathy, Cows, and Guns! (two of two)

    ¡°Tell me about this ce, Zip,¡± Littlefoot said as she and Charlotte flew across the countryside in an armored grav cargo carrier. (Zip didn¡¯t want Charlotte punching holes in a normal van likest time.) ¡°Is it legit?¡±

    ¡°Venus Ranch is both very legit and very upscale,¡± Zip replied, ¡°The ce is a ¡®bespoke beef producer,¡¯ whatever the hell that means. From what I can see, they just raise cows like any other ranch. They also have horses, lodges, riding trails, nature tours¡­ the whole song and dance. They are pretentious as all get out, but they are good people¡­ at least the ones who take deliveries are. Shanda Lagrange (She¡¯s Venus) is pretty cool, too. A couple of her people are kinda snooty, but they are doing that whole ¡®cowboy chic¡¯ crap that went out of fashion like forty years ago.¡±

    ¡°Cowboy?¡± Charlotte asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s some ancient thing,¡± Zip replied, ¡°It has to do with cows, horses, and revolvers. They have movies about it, but they are about as historically urate as my heat vents¡­ Actually, those are vintage. They¡¯re more historically urate. Want to watch one while we travel?¡±

    ¡°Another time,¡± Charlotte replied.

    ¡°Thank God!¡± Zip eximed. ¡°I don¡¯t like Westerns one bit.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s the whole genocide thing,¡± Zip replied, ¡°They either ignore it or minimize it. Other times, they focus just on that and go on and on about it to the point that it loses all impact. Every now and then, they actually make it look <em>noble</em> and make the indigenous poption the viins! Can you believe it? Well, you don¡¯t get too much of that these days. The Nations own most of the continent. A studio doesn¡¯t intentionally piss off an entire continent if they can help it.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Charlotte replied. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ disturbing¡­¡±

    ¡°You think the Sol Wars were a one-off thing?¡± Zip electronically snorted. ¡°Read up on Earth history if you want to find out how ¡®human¡¯ those walking psychopaths really are, especially if your people are considering establishing rtions with the fuckers. I love the little shits, I really do, but goddamn. They can be the best, most noble beings in the entire universe orplete and utter monsters, sometimes at the same time. Most of them are good, and I cherish each and every one of them, but the ones who aren¡¯t? They are so horrid they make up for all of the good ones some days. I love humans, but damn. The really messed up thing is that they came <em>so close</em> to bing something more, something better. Then, one disaster happened, and they all just went back to being <em>animals</em> all over again. Yeah, it was a huge disaster, but my beloved humans showed their true colors that day and every day for the next ten years, and it broke my heart. Charlotte, I love my humans, but study them closely before your people enter into any agreements with them, please.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± Littlefootughed, ¡°you don¡¯t pull punches, do you?¡±

    ¡°Not when there aren¡¯t any humans around to get their panties in a bunch, no¡­ Hey, are you <em>really</em> going to bring that gun into the restaurant?¡±

    ¡°Thumper?¡± Littlefoot asked, hefting a short-barreled semi-auto .410 shotgun, ¡°You betcha! This thing smells funny from top to bottom.¡±

    ¡°How can you even shoot that?¡±

    ¡°Extra short tactical shotshells,¡± Littlefoot replied. ¡°Paid a mint for them, but they are <em>nasty</em>, AND I can pack a lot more of them in the magazine than people expect. They don¡¯t normally make them in .410, but you can special order them if you want. rence adjusted things so they feed properly and the gun cycles quicker. It doesn¡¯t have a whole lot of range, but nothing is getting close to us.¡±

    Littlefoot sighed.

    ¡°I would have rather brought my Little Buddy, but I already gave it to rence to work on. Wouldn¡¯t you know the <em>one time</em> I actually needed that thing, I wouldn¡¯t have it? Thumper will have to do.¡±

    ¡°Am I not here for your protection?¡± Charlotte asked.

    ¡°You¡¯re just here to cost that asshole more money,¡± Littlefootughed. ¡°I figured you deserved a treat for all you do around the Drop¡­ and an extra set of eyes never hurts. With all the ones you have, it¡¯s like bringing a whole crew. Just keep your eyes open and stuff your face with as much ¡®bespoke beef¡¯ as you can.¡±

    ¡°That will be a great deal of flesh,¡± Charlotte replied.

    ¡°So much the better,¡± Littlefootughed, ¡°I want to burn his asshole so bad he <em>never</em>es back¡­ Hey, Zip?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the most expensive thing on their menu?...¡±

    ***

    ¡°You are certainly well¡­ essorized¡­¡± the man said as he approached their armored car, ¡°and I <em>love</em> your ride.¡±

    ¡°Charlotte here shreds normal ones,¡± Littlefoot smiled.

    ¡°While we do value our right to bear arms,¡± the man said, ¡°It is not customary to bring in something so¡­ notable¡­ into an establishment of this nature.¡±

    ¡°Then you should have invited us to somewhere that¡­¡±

    <em>Mooooo¡­.</em>

    A cow mooed in rm at the sight of Charlotte as it fled. While not the smartest creature on the, it couldn¡¯t help but feel that her appearance was not a good sign.

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Charlotte purr-rumble-hissed, ¡°Those are <em>lovely</em>¡­ so¡­ <em>plump¡­</em> so¡­ <em>fleshy</em>¡­¡±

    Her legs started to twitch.

    ¡°We¡¯ll take one!¡± Littlefoot said happily.

    ¡°One¡­ <em>cow</em>?!?¡±

    ¡°I <em>said</em> Charlotte could eat a <em>lot</em>, and you <em>said</em> we could order anything we want! Charlotte orders the cow!¡±

    ¡°I see¡­ You truly do want me to fuck off, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I will have the wagyu boneless ribeye¡­ A5 please¡­, a whole one, with a bottle of Chandreux ¡¯58, and I think to start¡­¡±

    ¡°I see where this is going,¡± the man said, ¡°Shall I just save both of us the trouble and tell them to put together the most expensive meal that they can?¡±

    ¡°That would be great!¡± Littlefoot smiled.

    ¡°Aren¡¯t you just a little afraid of offending your potential client?¡±

    ¡°Not one bit! He can go and fuck himself¡­ which is exactly what I am going to tell him over dinner!¡±

    The man just faintly smiled.

    ¡°Just to be clear,¡± he said, ¡°Charlotte eats her meat raw?¡±

    ¡°Yep?¡±

    ¡°Does she want the animal dressed, or will she just grab one out of the field like a lion or something?¡±

    ¡°Hey, Charlotte, what do you think?¡±

    ¡°Wha?...¡± Charlotte asked, still staring at the cattle, her ws digging little furrows in the earth.

    ¡°Do you want the cow cleaned, or are you just going to grab one?¡±

    ¡°¡­grab¡­one¡­¡±

    ¡°She will take hers to go,¡± Littlefoot said brightly.

    ¡°Allow me to speak to the manager. Do you think your friend can wait just a few minutes?¡±

    ¡°¡­wait¡­ stalk¡­ choose¡­¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s good¡­ I think¡­¡±

    ¡°I will make this as quick as possible.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Holy shit!¡± an old woman in blue jeans and a straw hat said as she approached. ¡°You¡¯re one big scary-looking motherfucker¡­¡±

    She looked over at Littlefoot.

    ¡°And one little scary-looking motherfucker.¡±

    ¡°¡­ck one¡­ white spot¡­ number fifty-two¡­¡±

    ¡°An excellent choice,¡± the woman said as she wrote a number on a little ancient notebook.

    She handed it to the man, who winced¡­ and nodded¡­

    ¡°One problem, though,¡± the woman said, ¡°I do raise animals to eat, but they are raised and handled <em>humanely</em>. We aren¡¯t doing a bullfight or any fucked up shit like that. You can have the whole thing as-is, but it will be killed¡­¡±

    ¡°¡­ won¡¯t¡­ feel¡­ it¡­¡±

    ¡°It will cost you dearly if it does,¡± the woman said. ¡°And you aren¡¯t just running out there and scaring the other steers, either. We¡¯ll lead it over behind the restaurant where we are going to be serving you¡­ people¡­ You can take it there. When you say it won¡¯t feel it, how fast¡­¡±

    ¡°¡­<em>instantly¡­</em>¡± Charlotte said as her mandibles slid over each other, making a sound exactly like a pair of shears¡­ a very big set of shears.

    ¡°Alright,¡± she said. ¡°They are setting up a table outside. Go around back, and we¡¯ll get you started.¡±

    ***

    The man sighed as he sipped the wine.

    ¡°You may be perhaps the most annoying creature on the,¡± he said, ¡°but this wine is excellent.¡±

    ¡°Bleah,¡± Littlefoot said, sticking out her little tongue. ¡°Hey, she said to the server standing nearby. Can I get a beer?¡±

    ¡°Certainly,¡± the server said as the man twitched, ¡°We have a wide selection of artesian¡­¡±

    ¡°Do you have any Shitz?¡±

    ¡°Shitz, ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°You have to be fucking kidding me!¡± the man eximed.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Littlefoot grinned, ¡°good ol¡¯ Shitz, it does exactly what it says on the carton.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m not sure, ma¡¯am¡­¡±

    ¡°You are doing this on <em>purpose!!!</em>¡± the man shouted.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± the server said, desperately trying not to burst intoughter, ¡°do you wish me to check?¡±

    ¡°Yes, please.¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­We were able to find a few containers among the workers,¡± the server said as he approached a bitter with a small cardboard carton and a frosted mug.

    Barely able to contain himself, the server, with great ceremony, snipped open the carton and carefully filled the mug, setting it in front of Littlefoot.

    ¡°Oh yeah!¡± she grinned as she took a big (for her) gulp. ¡°That¡¯s the stuff!¡±

    ¡°I suppose you are going to ask for steak sauce for your wagyu as well?¡± the man sighed.

    ¡°They don¡¯t have ketchup here?¡± Littlefoot asked, reminding herself to thank Zip for all of the anti-pointers.

    The look on the man¡¯s face was priceless.

    Charlotte fidgeted anxiously as the man twitched and sipped fine wine, and Littlefoot, absolutely delighted with herself, guzzled Shitz.

    ¡°Um¡­ Not to be overly demanding,¡± she said, ¡°But when can I expect my meal?¡±

    ¡°We¡­ we were nning on presenting you with¡­ um¡­ your meal at the same time the other guests were receiving their entr¨¦e. Would you like something while you wait?¡±

    ¡°It may take me longer to feed,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°Perhaps I could be given the beast now?¡±

    ¡°Very good¡­ ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I am female.¡±

    ¡°One moment, please.¡±

    ¡°If it starts to run,¡± Charlotte said, ¡°<em>let it</em>.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    The server departed.

    The owner soon appeared, leading number fifty-two.

    <em>Moo?</em>

    ¡°Okay, here he is,¡± she said. ¡°Now remember, I will not allow it to suffer,¡± she added while patting arge caliber revolver now on her hip.

    ¡°¡­ Step¡­ back¡­¡±

    Shaking her head, the old woman started to back away.

    <em>M¡ª</em>

    Before the steer could even ¡°oo,¡± Charlotte covered the distance in a blur.

    The cow fell. Its head also fell, just a little bit farther away.

    <em>¡°Son of a bitch¡­¡±</em> the old woman gasped.

    Charlotte knelt in front of the fallen cow.

    ¡°Thank you, fellow creature, though you have been judged less fit than I, I hope your life was full and your passing quick. I wee you, brother, into my maw, my body, and into my soul. May your substance be my substance, your soul my soul, and may we now, as one, wander the trails, joined together in the hunt, until I, too, fall and we join yet another. May our blood and our souls flow ever forward through life and death now and forever.¡±

    ¡°That was¡­ disturbingly beautiful,¡± the old woman said.

    Charlotte buzzed quietly as she rose.

    ¡°Forgive my distraction earlier,¡± she said, ¡°It has been far too long since I have hunted such arge creature. It¡­ inmed¡­ my passions.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s alright,¡± the old woman said as Charlotte effortlessly picked up the cow and carried it over to Littlefoot and her increasingly reluctant dinnerpanion.

    ¡°Will this be okay, Littlefoot?¡± Charlotte asked, ¡°I am aware that my style of dining can be¡­ distressing¡­ to others.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good,¡± Littlefoot said as she took another gulp of her incredibly cheap beer. ¡°It¡¯s not that much different than nature shows¡­ or watching my brothers clean lopers back home.¡±

    ¡°I wanted to ensure that to be the case,¡± she said, ¡°I shall tuck in.¡±

    ¡°So,¡± Littlefoot said, raising her voice to be heard over the tearing and gnashing noises, ¡°When is this mysterious client supposed to show.¡±

    The man, now quite beyond being rattled, refilled his ss.

    ¡°He specified that you be treated to a fine meal first. We shall speak with him after dessert.¡±

    ¡°Cool.¡±

    ***

    Littlefoot and Charlotte enjoyed their meal immensely, and while Littlefoot did indeed ask for ketchup, she could not bring herself to pour it over the most amazing cut of meat she had ever tasted in her entire life (much to the relief of their host).

    Charlotte was beside herself. The meat was impossibly tender and fatty, a true luxury.

    ¡°So,¡± the old rancher asked, ¡°how is fifty-two.¡±

    ¡°Astounding,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°It does not have the character of the game back home, but its tender subtleness is absolutely sublime¡­ and to think you actually <em>cook</em> it¡­¡±

    ¡°With meat of this quality, you don¡¯t cook it much,¡± the rancher replied. ¡°I like mine almost as rare as you do. I pretty much just sear the outside and warm the middle not much hotter than what¡¯s in your mouth. If someone orders <em>my</em> beef well done, I throw them out. I will not have my animals wasted like that.¡±

    The woman looked at Charlotte as she ate.

    ¡°You¡¯re one of those Nopes, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I am.¡±

    ¡°You one of them, ¡®trailyers¡¯?¡±

    ¡°You know about us?¡±

    ¡°Only what I¡¯ve read since I heard you wereing. So, what does a trailyer do? Recon? Trade? Diplomacy?¡±

    ¡°All and none,¡± Charlotte replied between bloody mouthfuls. ¡°I don¡¯t think you have an exact equivalent. We go ahead of the swarm andy trails to follow. We search out opportunities, find hazards, andy scents so those who follow are forewarned and forearmed¡­ Of course, we just use email these days,¡± Charlotte said with a rumblingugh.

    ¡°Oh, like an old-school explorer.¡±

    ¡°Explorer is the best term for what we do,¡± Charlotte replied.

    ¡°And your kind are carnivores?¡± the old rancher asked with a twinkle in her eye.

    ¡°That we are¡­¡± Charlotte rumbled with a simr glint in hers.

    ***

    ¡°I have to say,¡± the man smiled, ¡°You aren¡¯t nearly as unpleasant once you have a belly of cheap beer and fine steak. I¡¯m also relieved beyond words that you did not ther that steak in ketchup.¡±

    ¡°I was gonna,¡± Littlefoot said as she sipped from her mug, ¡°but I just couldn¡¯t. There is screwing with <em>you</em>, and there is ruining <em>that</em>.¡±

    ¡°I can also see you enjoyed your dessert,¡± the man smiled.

    Littlefoot grinned through the chocte sauce and whipped cream on her face.

    ¡°So <em>that¡¯s</em> what ice cream is supposed to taste like!¡± she eximed. ¡°I had <em>no</em> idea!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the real stuff with real cream,¡± the man smiled.

    He looked over at Charlotte and the rancher.

    ¡°Looks like they are getting along famously.¡±

    ¡°And it sounds like Charlotte does a lot more than pour coffee,¡± Littlefoot replied. ¡°They are talking about supplying the swarm, and I don¡¯t think she¡¯s talking about a few whores who want help with their homework¡­ unless she is nning on fattening them up a <em>lot</em>.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± the man replied.

    He smirked.

    ¡°And now my revenge,¡± he said smoothly.

    ¡°Your revenge?¡± Littlefoot asked, not reaching for the shotgun beside her but idly moving her hand under the table towards a .25 ACP in her skirt. (The ammo made the exact cartridge irrelevant.)

    ¡°Allow me to introduce your potential client,¡± he said as he pulled out a small disc from his pocket and set it on the table.

    ¡°Little fe, isn¡¯t he?¡±

    The disc glowed, and a handsomely dressed and absolutely <em>gorgeous</em> Loo appeared floating just above it.

    Littlefoot¡¯s jaw dropped.

    ¡°Did you enjoy your meal and your <em>entire cow?¡±</em> the Loo chuckled. ¡°Do you have any idea what the bill for tonight <em>is</em>? A cheap date you are NOT.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡­¡±

    ¡°If that ¡®iced cream¡¯ is as delicious as you made it appear,¡± the Loo smiled, ¡°I will definitely see if I can obtain some. I believe there are some cattle on Raylesh. But, unfortunately, it is rather difficult to get shipments from there. More precisely, it is rather difficult to get those shipments without having to answer some rather inconvenient questions.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡­¡± Littlefoot stammered, suddenly aware of how underdressed (in every sense of the word) and chocte-covered she was.

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry!¡± she finally managed to blurt as she furiously wiped her face with a napkin. ¡°I had no idea you were one of us! <em>If I had known</em>,¡± she added, looking at the human across from her with death in her cute little eyes, ¡°I would have <em>never</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s perfectly fine,¡± the Looughed. ¡°In fact, I made a point of telling him not to reveal who I was, especially once it was clear how you would approach this.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡±

    ¡°Allow me to introduce myself,¡± the Loo said as he idly groomed his <em>magnificent</em> fur. ¡°I am Councilor Longpaw and have the rather dubious honor of representing our people¡¯s interests in the Federation.¡±

    Littlefoot¡¯s blood almost literally froze in her veins. (Her heart considered stopping. It would have been much simpler that way.)

    ¡°I¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m Littlefoot.¡±

    ¡°It is a pleasure to meet you, Littlefoot,¡± Longpaw smiled, ¡°It was also a pleasure to watch you shaft my representative andmit a culinary war crime.¡±

    Littlefoot made a strangled squeaking noise.

    ¡°No, it was,¡± he smiled, ¡°It honestly was. I admire a woman who isn¡¯t afraid of enjoying herself regardless of appearances and will plunge her face into¡­ whipped cream?... like that. I also truly enjoyed watching you put the screws to my representative. Once you realized that he was trulymitted to getting you here, regardless of the cost, you made sure it <em>cost</em> him. You showed no hesitation in making him pay¡­ even if it was the Loo who will foot the bill for this one.¡±

    Littlefoot squeaked again.

    ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t know¡­¡± she said with true agony.

    ¡°It¡¯s quite alright,¡± Longpaw chuckled, ¡°There are most likely a few other things concerning the Loo of which you are also unaware. It has been a most eventful year¡­¡±

    A few minutester, an even more stunned Littlefoot stared at Councilor Longpaw.

    ¡°We did to the whole Federation what you just did to me,¡± heughed. ¡°However, we didn¡¯t stop at just one cow. By the way, ordering the most expensive bottle of wine they had and then requesting¡­ Shitz?¡­ A masterstroke! I wish I had you on this side of the blockade.¡±

    ¡°Almost gave me a real one,¡± the man snickered. ¡°That was just evil, Littlefoot.¡±

    ¡°Setting aside amusement, though,¡± Longpaw asked, ¡°did you actually enjoy the meal?¡±

    ¡°Very much so,¡± Littlefoot replied, absolutely mortified, ¡°It was the best meal of my life¡­ sorry¡­¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have celebrated our people¡¯s victory as freely if you knew it was courtesy of our people andes nowhere near what you are owed.¡±

    ¡°Owed?¡±

    ¡°What happened to you and so many of our people,¡± Longpaw snarled, revealing a Loo¡¯s true nature for just a moment, ¡°is <em>unforgivable</em>, as is the fact that we allowed it to happen in the first ce. I <em>swear</em> upon my <em>line</em> that we will find every single one of you and bring you home. I also swear that we will make Jessica Morgan look like the paragon of <em>forgiveness</em> when ites to those who have abused our people. We may not have the Harlequin, but we are not without our resources. Nobody will <em>ever</em> victimize a single Loo for a thousand years after what we do. Were it not for the blockade, I would be sending a ship immediately.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s okay¡­¡± Littlefoot said after a moment. ¡°We both know how it was, and I was a fool to climb aboard a ship that¡­¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Longpaw said firmly, ¡°it was desperation, not foolishness, and you are not to me. It was my job, and those who came before me, to protect you and everyone else, and we were the ones who failed, not you. I only regret that it took as long as it did to pull the de from our back and return it to its rightful owner. We own them, Littlefoot, all of us, including you.¡±

    His eyes zed fiercely.

    ¡°We <em>fucking own them</em>!¡±

    He smirked.

    ¡°If you wanted, you could walk into any of their houses and simply take what you wanted,¡± Longpaw said with a malicious smile, ¡°Of course, we aren¡¯t doing that. We aren¡¯t the Besl. But, we could.¡±

    ¡°The¡­ Besl?¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter,¡± Longpaw said, and then he sighed. ¡°I understand that you have had to resort to rather¡­ extreme measures¡­ to support yourself.¡±

    For the first time in a long while, Littlefoot was filled with shame. She looked away, unable to even meet his gaze.

    ¡°You did what you had to do, and from what I understand,¡± Longpaw said, ¡°You have achieved no small measure of sess in more than one respect. What you and the others at the Drop of Oil have achieved for those in your circumstances and others is nothing less than inspiring. I also understand that you have assumed a position of responsibility and authority and are someone many rely on as both guide and <em>protector</em>. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and much of which you can be very proud. You have my sincere respect and admiration.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I do?¡±

    ¡°You honestly do,¡± Longpaw said, ¡°I know of few of our kind, or any kind, who would have not only kept themselves whole but step up and be a leader under not only the crushing circumstances in which you found yourself but in the face of the Harkeen. There is respect, respect, and then there is <em>respect</em>. You truly carry the essence of your line and of the Loo.¡±

    ¡°But I am a¡­ a¡­¡±

    ¡°Prostitution is legal on our world,¡± Longpaw said, ¡°And I personally believe that it should bear no stigma. If only all of our people would believe the same. The same desperation andck of opportunity that drove you to climb aboard a ship drove many of them to do what they have done, and all of you¡­ all of you¡­ have simply done what you had to in order to support yourself and provide for those who rely on you. The only people who should be judged, and harshly so, are those who allowed our people to be put in such a state. Unfortunately, the real culprits have all passed away, or I would have them all divorced from their heads.¡±

    Littlefoot started to weep, her tears mixing with the chocte and whipped cream still remaining in her fur.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± the man said as he rose and walked away, pausing to gentlyy his hand on Littlefoot¡¯s shoulder before entering the restaurant.

    ¡°We can never make it right,¡± Longpaw said, ¡°but we will do what we can. You don¡¯t have to return to the Drop of Oil if you do not want to. Your share of the spoils will be more than enough for you to befortable either in the Republic or anywhere else you wish to go.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Littlefoot said, ¡°I¡¯m happy that things are better¡­ I really am¡­ but¡­ the girls¡­ Craxina¡­ <em>Sheloran</em>¡­ They need me. I¡­ I can¡¯t leave them¡­ not yet¡­¡±

    ¡°Nor should you have to,¡± Longpaw said, ¡°you will receive a rather significant stipend no matter what you choose. You do not need to leave the Drop of Oil if you do not wish to do so.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°No, and it is to your very real credit that you do not wish to do so,¡± Longpaw said. ¡°Once again, you have my respect.¡±

    He paused.

    ¡°I have no right to ask, absolutely <em>no</em> right,¡± he said, ¡°But, Littlefoot, you are in a prime position to help our people, the very people who failed you. I will not even attempt to sway you except to tell you that the opportunity exists.¡±

    ¡°You mean guns, right?¡±

    ¡°Among other things,¡± Longpaw replied, ¡°We are interested in many things besides guns, and you have proven yourself reliable beyond measure, trustworthy, courageous¡­ and quite willing to be a hard bargaining and nasty little irontooth,¡± he added with a smile, ¡°exactly what we need in the Republic¡­ It would also make you a <em>very</em> wealthy Loo. We have <em>money</em>, Littlefoot. We have so much money¡­¡±

    Littlefoot just sighed a little sigh¡­

    ¡­and smiled.

    ¡°I¡¯m not abandoning the girls¡­ or the boys¡­¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t dream of even asking you.¡±

    ¡°Bring me another ice cream, and let¡¯s talk guns. Want to see my concealed carry?¡±

 Chapter 270: Charlotte and Littlefoot, the Morning After

    Chapter 270: Charlotte and Littlefoot, the Morning After

    ¡°OhmyGod!!!¡± Littlefoot eximed as they lifted off from Venus Ranch quite some time after it officially closed.

    There was much to discuss, and when you dropped as much cash as the Loo did, it is surprising how flexible an establishment can be.

    ¡°How you doing back there?¡± she asked as she looked back at Charlotte who was lying, legs curled underneath, beside a surprisingly small amount of packaged beef.

    ¡°The eternal hunting grounds¡­¡± Charlotte purred, causing the vehicle to shake. ¡°If I were taken there this instant, I would consider it a life well lived¡­¡±

    Her mandibles worked back and forth.

    ¡°To borrow a term from our human hosts,¡± she rumbled, ¡°Mind¡­ Blown¡­ Boom¡­¡±

    ¡°That was the <em>first time</em> you have ever had meat cooked?¡± Littlefoot asked.

    ¡°No,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°That was the first time I had it cooked <em>properly</em>¡­ The expertly seared exterior introducing new chemicalpounds¡­ the interior warmed just enough to free the fat and increase the aroma and vors¡­ <em>medium rare</em>, they called it¡­ I am so happy I allowed Ms. Venus to convince me to try <em>her</em> steak¡­ I still can¡¯t believe it! This¡­ This is <em>revolutionary</em>¡­ <em>Exactly</em> what we trailyers were sent to find!¡±

    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe that you made it to another star and didn¡¯t know how to freaking cook!¡± Littlefoot giggled.

    ¡°Oh, we use heat to process and preserve food,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°I have literal tons of pemmican with me, but we have <em>never</em> produced something like that steak! We never thought to do it. Meat is to be consumed <em>raw</em>, as presented by nature, preferably still steaming and dripping blood or ichor as applicable. It is only cooked when it must be preserved, and then it is smoked and dried or salted. If one lives as one should, then there should be no leftovers. One only ¡®cooks¡¯ food when one maintains the caches. Back home, I would rather starve than ept the shame of having to stray from the path of selection. The <em>only</em> exception was <em>one time</em> when I was deeply involved in research and did not wish to stop to hunt. Before this journey, that was the only time I ever ate flesh cooked. We do reluctantly cook some nt material. There are certain herbs, medicinal and digestive, that must be broken down before we can properly consume them. It maye as a shock, but the nts on my world can be a bit tough.¡±

    ¡°So your people just quit and go hunting whenever they are hungry?¡±

    ¡°Yes, save in very unusual circumstances.¡±

    ¡°How does that even work? I mean, if everyone just hits the woods whenever they are hungry, how does anyone get anything done. And doesn¡¯t that kill everything around your cities?¡±

    ¡°Our ¡®cities¡¯ are a bit different,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°They are more like what you would consider small towns. And, when we go on a hunt, we travel extended distances, especially now that we have transport. We will select an area that should be fresh and spend a few weeks or months there until we have properly gorged ourselves. Then, we can return for quite some time until we must feed again. We have evolved so that we can engorge ourselves and then go protracted periods with no additional sustenance. I willpletely consume this animal over the next day or so¡­ I had better check the structural strength of the coffee stand. I shall gain a significant amount of weight.¡±

    ¡°You could put it in a freezer and¡­¡±

    ¡°Now you are speaking madness,¡± Charlotte chuckle-rumbled. ¡°I have this premium flesh, and I shall consume it raw and bloody save a few experiments trying to replicate medium-rare. I thank you once more for bringing me.¡±

    ¡°And there is a lot more where that came from!¡± Littlefootughed, ¡°Have you <em>seen</em> my ounts?!? Holy shit!¡±

    ¡°Are they not expressly for your mission?¡±

    ¡°Meh. What¡¯s a little corruption between friends,¡± Littlefoot giggled.

    ¡°You <em>can¡¯t</em> be serious! You would betray your swarm?!?¡±

    ¡°Rx,¡± Littlefoot giggled, ¡°my paycheck is more than enough to nab a cow every now and then¡­ well¡­ a <em>normal</em> one. That one back there is a bit pricy.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°I was very disheartened when I learned the cost of the beast. Apparently, there is a <em>significant</em> difference between ¡®bespoke beef¡¯ and normal cattle. Fortunately, the cost of less premium livestock will be agreeable to our trailyers, envoys, traders, and the like. One of these beasts will be a wee respite from our rather loathsome pemmican. This could very well make Terra a major waypoint for our swarms.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t forget Nakamura and the rest of the Republic,¡± Littlefoot said, ¡°If anything¡­¡±

    <em>Gurgle¡­</em>

    ¡°Oooh¡­¡± Littlefoot said as she held her stomach. ¡°I don¡¯t feel so good¡­¡±

    Over the next few minutes, difort turned into agony¡­

    ¡­and <em>fear</em>.

    ¡°Call an ambnce!¡± Littlefoot cried, ¡°I think I¡¯m dying!¡±

    ¡°Zip!¡± Charlotte yelled as she rushed forward, causing the transport to lurch for a moment, ¡°Where is the nearest hospital!¡±

    ¡°Do you consent to a medical scan?¡± Zip asked, ¡°I can send your scans to the nearest hospital, which is one hundred and sixty-seven kilometers away.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be dead by then!... Ohhh, creators¡­ It hurts!¡± Littlefoot wailed as she clutched her belly. ¡°It was that¡­ <em>asshole</em>¡­ He poisoned me!... I¡¯ll kill him!... Oohhhh!¡±

    ¡°I seriously doubt an agent of the Loo would have gone through all of the time and expense he did just to kill you,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°However, you do raise a good point. You ate a lot of unfamiliar foods. Do you think you consumed a toxin?¡±

    ¡°I scanned <em>everything</em>.¡±

    ¡°Um, guys,¡± Zip said, ¡°I can¡¯t really do a scan without consent¡­¡±

    ¡°If I don¡¯t make it¡­¡± Littlefoot said as she reached for Charlotte, ¡°In my van, there is a fire safe. My p-parents¡­ Tell them¡­ Tell them I¡­¡±

    ¡°For fuck¡¯s sake!!!¡± Zip yelled, his speakers at full volume, ¡°Let me scan you so you <em>don¡¯t</em> die, you furry little <em>moron</em>!¡±

    ¡°Ohhhh, it hurts¡­¡±

    ¡°Fuck it,¡± Zip grumbled, ¡°Consent implied¡­ Scanning¡­¡±

    Zip startedughing.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t going to die,¡± he said, ¡°I¡¯m calling the Republic non-emergency helpline.¡±

    ¡°<em>Non-Emergency?!?</em>¡± Littlefoot screamed.

    ¡°It will be faster,¡± Zip replied, ¡°Trust me. Calling Candy now.¡±

    ¡°How can the non-emergency line be <em>faster?!?</em>¡± Littlefoot wailed. ¡°I need help <em>no</em>.¡±

    ¡°Because this can be handled by AI,¡± a pleasant and reassuring feminine voice replied. ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Candy Stripe, the Republic Medical Services evaluation and referral AI! Sweetie, you are in no immediate danger, nor have you identally consumed something dangerous. You, my dear, have a raging case of the star-trots.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve lived in the Republic long enough for certain native microorganisms to popte your digestive system. For <em>your</em> species, this isn¡¯t a big deal, but you just fed them a <em>lot</em> ofctose, a sugar that even a lot of humans can¡¯t digest properly. Your doesn¡¯t havectose at all, so you didn¡¯t digest it, but the bacteria in your gut just love the stuff, and now they are filling your petite little guts with the byproducts. In other words, you have gas.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve had gas, and this <em>is not gas</em>, you stupid AI!¡±

    ¡°Well, <em>sweetie</em>¡­¡± Candy replied, ¡°You can always feel free to have Zip send your scans to a hospital where their triage AI will g it as non-emergency and tell Zip to drive you in. Then, you will wait an underdetermined amount of time <em>because it isn¡¯t an emergency</em>, only to be told by a meat¡­ a real live doctor <em>that it isn¡¯t an emergency</em>, and they will then give you <em>the exact same thing</em> that I can get into your paws in about¡­ five minutes¡­ It¡¯s entirely your call, and to be perfectly honest, I really don¡¯t give a shit either way¡­ because this isn¡¯t an emergency, and I have five hundred and thirty-two things that <em>are</em>. So, I¡¯m fresh out of both time and sympathy for your gassy little ass. So, do you want me to make baby all better or not?¡±

    ¡°You should really listen to Candy,¡± Zip said. ¡°She can call in some over-the-counter stuff, and we can swoop into a charging za a lot faster than even the fastest emergency room visit. I am not qualified to diagnose, treat nor rmend treatment for any medical condition¡­ but Candy <em>is</em>. If we go to the ER, you aren¡¯t getting shit for <em>at least</em> a good hour after we get there¡­ and that¡¯s if you¡¯re <em>lucky</em>.¡±

    Littlefoot just nodded.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna need more than just a nod, sweetie,¡± Candy said. ¡°Do you want mamma to make it better, or do you want a real live doctor as organic as the dairy you just shoved into your guts to do the same thing¡­ muchter?¡±

    ¡°Now, please,¡± Littlefoot moaned.

    ¡°I¡¯ve entered the order at the Zap and Zip number fifteen thirty-six, Zip,¡± Candy said cheerfully, ¡°They will have Peptopoop, Fartgo, and some activated charcoal tablets¡­ plus a couple of bottles of Crocodelish Electrolyte Exxtra and¡­ yeah¡­ a roll of paper towels¡­ just in case¡­ That¡¯s a <em>lot</em> of dairy. This could get bad. Zip, may I take this opportunity to extend my most sincere condolences to your upholstery¡­ If you haven¡¯t guessed, sweetie,¡± Candy said cheerfully, ¡°I¡¯m saying that there is a very good chance you¡¯re going to shit yourself. If you can go at the charge station, you <em>really</em> want to.¡±

    ***

    Candy¡¯s prediction proved urate, and there was a small blur in a blue skirt sprinting out of the cargo transport before it even fullynded, much to Zip¡¯s loud objections. (He still unlocked the door, though.)

    ¡°I think I can fit in there,¡± Charlotte mused, ¡°I guess I will go and collect the medications.¡±

    ¡°Cool. I¡¯ll just be hovering here. Yell if you need Candy or an ambnce. It¡¯s one of my charging stations, so I have a sensor feed¡­ In case you are wondering, a sensor feed from a remote charging station or worse, a rest area isn¡¯t always a blessing. Humans are <em>weird</em>, dude.¡±

    ¡°Remember where I work,¡± Charlotte chuckled as she climbed out of the van, ¡°I don¡¯t doubt that for a moment,¡± she said over her shoulder as she walked inside.

    ***

    ¡°Wee to¡­ <em>holy shit!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°Hello,¡± Charlotte rumbled pleasantly to the blue and white ball cap and pair of extremely startled eyes peeking above the counter.

    ¡°H-hello¡­¡± a woman with long blonde hair in a somewhat grease-stained jumpsuit said as she reluctantly stood. ¡°S-sorry about that¡­ You just¡­ um¡­ startled me.¡±

    ¡°I tend to startle a lot of people,¡± Charlotte rumbled with amusement. ¡°I assume you met my small and distressed associate?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the woman grinned. ¡°I assume this candy bag is for her?¡± she asked as she pulled out a biofilm shopping bag. ¡°There are also dosage rmendations for her species, but Candy says that Peptopoop is almost identical to Bismusoothe from her home and that not to freak if she just chugs the bottle like every other idiot does¡­ What the <em>hell are you</em>?... Sorry¡­¡±

    Charlotte tried not to smile.

    ¡°The human name for my species is the Nope, the first word the first human shouted when they encountered us¡­¡±

    ***

    Quite some timeter, a weak and damp Littlefoot staggered out of the restroom.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she muttered, ¡°It starteding out of both ends¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t sweat it,¡± the human replied, ¡°That¡¯s why I get paid the big bucks.¡±

    Littlefootughed weakly.

    ¡°No, seriously,¡± the womanughed, ¡°The Republic is Bizzaro Worldpared to a lot of the gxy. You would be <em>surprised</em> how much I make. I actually have a degree in this, you know.¡±

    ¡°There is a degree for being a charge swinger?¡± Littlefoot asked in shock and then winced. It wasn¡¯t a very nice term for not a very nice job back home.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s more of a certification, actually. I am a certified vehicle technician, medical first responder, firefighter, unlimited ss vehicle operator, journeyman rigger, andw enforcement agent. I also do almost all maintenance of this facility¡­ and run the cash register when ites up, which isn¡¯t often. It¡¯s a pretty good gig for an introvert like me. I hardly ever see real live people unless I take a day off¡­ which suits me just fine.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Charlotte replied. ¡°Is every charging station manned?¡±

    ¡°Not all of them,¡± the woman replied, ¡°Most are literally just charging points, but there is one of these master stations at regr intervals along all routes. We are sort of the guardian angels of the road¡­ even though that usually means just rebooting a rig or swapping a circuit board. It¡¯s a pretty easy job, most of the time. To be honest,¡± she said to Littlefoot, ¡°you painting the shitter is kind of a wee break from the monotony.¡±

    ¡°¡­sorry¡­¡± Littlefoot said as she let out a very smelly and wet-sounding fart, causing her to clutch the back of her skirt in rm.

    ¡°We also have showers¡­¡± the woman said sympathetically.

    ***

    Well after the sun rose, Littlefoot awoke to the smell of grilling meat.

    It had been a long and very unpleasant night. Liddie, the Station Attendant, rmended that she just crash there where there was more Pepto and where the restroom was close. (And where Liddie could keep an eye on her.)

    To be honest, it was probably because it had been a while since Liddie had talked to anyone. Even introverts have their limits.

    It turns out that these ces usually have a little traveler¡¯s loft or at least a cot or two.

    After the shower and another rather protracted and prayer-filled restroom experience, Littlefoot, following her unfortunately acute nose, found her way to Liddie¡¯s apartment behind the station.

    ¡°The trick to it is to get the pan good and hot,¡± Liddie said to Charlotte as the Nope watched Liddie¡¯s every move. ¡°That way, you get a good sear.¡±

    ¡°The pan seems to be of an unusualposition,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°and is coated with aplex carbon-based coating. Is that important?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a seasoned cast-iron pan, a real one,¡± Liddie said proudly. ¡°I found it on a treasure hunt a few years back! It doesn¡¯t need to be one of these, but they <em>are</em> nifty. Anything should work, but you want it thick because¡­ Well, hi there!¡± Liddie said brightly to Littlefoot. ¡°Back among the living?¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately¡­¡± Littlefoot mumbled as she slumped into a chair. ¡°Thanks for letting me crash here.¡±

    ¡°It qualifies as assisting those in transit,¡± Liddie shrugged, ¡°Besides, I¡¯ve been paid in <em>steak</em>!¡±

    ¡°Liddie is teaching me the secret of medium-rare,¡± Charlotte rumbled happily.

    ¡°We have some of thest one left,¡± Liddie said, ¡°You up to solid food? If not, there is some instant oatmeal.¡±

    ¡°I think just the oatmeal,¡± Littlefoot said weakly.

    ***

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to keep the transport here, Zip,¡± Littlefoot, wearing freshlyundered clothes, said as they lifted off, and Liddie happily waved from below.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have bunches of armored transports just lying around,¡± Zip replied cheerfully, ¡°and I didn¡¯t have an order for one, so I just scheduled it for a battery test and check, which Liddie didst night. All she had to do was hook it up to a tester and walk away. It needed one anyhow. It was easier than sending it back only to send it out again to pick Charlotte up.¡±

    ¡°You have our thanks, Zip,¡± Charlotte said. ¡°I truly enjoyed my time with Liddie.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s really cool. Did you know she actually has a Ph.D. in Physics?¡±

    ¡°And she runs a charging station?¡± Littlefoot asked, stunned. <em>¡°Why?¡±</em>

    ¡°She has aplete machine shop, electrical shop, and several robo facs all to herself,¡± Zip replied. ¡°and the time to do whatever the hell she wants with it all. Fortunately, I am neither authorized nor required to enforce thews of nature. Otherwise, she would be in big trouble,¡± Zipughed. ¡°She¡¯s an odd duck, but most of the people out here are in one way or another. You almost have to be. Fortunately for me, odd ducks are one of the few things that there isn¡¯t a shortage of in the Republic these days. Oh! That reminds me! Charlotte, Be says hi and asks you to tell the scavvers that she is doing great.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s wonderful to hear!¡± Charlotte enthused, ¡°Did everything work out with that guy she went off to meet?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah, big time,¡± Zip said happily. ¡°They are now a ¡®travel team¡¯ and are joined at the hip¡­ along with other portions of their anatomy¡­¡±

    ¡°Wonderful! I am so happy for her! She deserves all the fruits of every hunt on which she embarks¡­ Of course, anyone who knows her doesn¡¯t doubt that she will obtain just that.¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Zip replied. ¡°She is kicking butt and taking names out here.¡±

    ¡°And her studies?¡±

    ¡°She is progressing a bit more slowly, but that¡¯s only because she was such a hard charger before. She¡¯s still way ahead of the curve.¡±

    ¡°If only the same could be said for my swarm,¡± Charlotte said ruefully. ¡°I went through all of the trouble to get that mobile library stationed at the Drop, and do you know what it¡¯s used for? Entertainment! Only a very few are truly applying themselves. Were it not for them, I would slide into despair.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Zip replied, ¡°I didn¡¯t want to say anything, but yeah¡­ Don¡¯t sell yourself short, though. I¡¯m driving a lot of them to the library!¡±

    ¡°Where they download music and movies,¡± Charlotte grumbled. ¡°If anything, the Library is proving to be more of a distraction than an asset. The totality of Human and Imperial knowledge is at their fingertips, and they watch Click-Clock videos for hours¡­ If it would not almost certainly be fatal, I would take a switch after the lot of them.¡±

    ¡°You would be surprised how many teachers say much the same,¡± Zipughed. ¡°But some of them might just surprise you. Of course, I am incapable of essing educational records, but don¡¯t give up on them just yet. A few of them <em>might</em> not be watching videos all of the time.¡±

    ¡°I truly hope so, Zip,¡± Charlotte replied. ¡°My conversations with Be and with the more¡­ literate¡­ members of Terran society have given me a reminder that natural selection is present in all environments, and the fit thrive while the unfit¡­ don¡¯t. Zip¡­ I fear that my swarm might not be of the fittest stock.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Littlefoot snapped as she took another gulp of Peptopoop, ¡°You shut your non-whore mouth. My girls might not measure up to your <em>lofty</em> standards, but they are plenty ¡®fit¡¯. If they weren¡¯t, they wouldn¡¯t have <em>survived</em> in the first ce! Do you have <em>any</em> idea what they have been through? Do you? No. You don¡¯t. I bet if you had to survive what they did in their bodies, you would be either dead in a ditch somewhere, floating in space, or addicted to creators knows what. So what if they watch some videos or y some games. They are still showing up to your stupid sses every single chance they get, and they are still <em>trying</em>. If you say one more bad thing about them or even <em>think</em> about giving up on them, I will <em>personally</em> kick your ass, and don¡¯t think for one second that I <em>can¡¯t</em>. They are my ¡®swarm,¡¯ too, and they are a damn good one. You should be thanking whatever creepy crawlie you pray to that you have the <em>privilege</em> of running with such a good crew¡­ Some stick up their ass professors sweet talk you and Mary fucking Bugpoppins floats by, and you get all mixed up in the head? Some ¡®trailyer¡¯ you are... Bitch.¡±

    Charlotte rumble-sighed.

    ¡°You are right, Littlefoot,¡± she said, ¡°I have been feeling increasingly lost out here so far from home and this biome¡­ It¡¯s strange¡­ Nothing makes sense. I can¡¯t even tell fit from unfit most of the time. It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s frightening in ways that I¡¯ve never been frightened before. I¡¯m more and more confused every day, and I don¡¯t even know which way toy my markers anymore.¡±

    She sagged.

    ¡°¡­I think <em>I</em> might be the unfit one¡­ I¡¯ve been pondering returning home. I am unsure¡­¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Littlefoot said, ¡°If you were so fucked up, why didn¡¯t you tell someone?¡±

    ¡°Because one doesn¡¯t show weakness,¡± Charlotte replied, ¡°If one bes unfit, they be a burden. If one bes a burden¡­ they¡­¡±

    ¡°Christ, now you sound like Uhrrbet,¡± Littlefoot snarked, ¡°You want to know how to be <em>fit</em> in this <em>biome</em>? You run with a <em>crew</em>, and you have one of the best in the gxy, you stupid bug. You find good people, and you stick with them no matter what. <em>Everyone</em> will be a burden at one time or another, and you know what you do? You help them back on their feet because tomorrow, you will be the one going down. You might be a walking <em>tank</em>, but if you try to go it alone out here in <em>this</em> ¡®biome,¡¯ you are dead meat. You have to have people to watch your back, and you need to watch theirs. That Jane of the Jungle bullshit is what¡¯s <em>unfit</em>, not you. Jesus, first you don¡¯t know how to cook, and now you don¡¯t know how to <em>people</em>? For such smart¡­ things¡­ you guys are pretty fucking stupid.¡±

    ¡°Well said,¡± Zip replied. ¡°Listen to the little vomit rat.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you,¡± Littlefoot said cheerfully. ¡°And fuck you too, Charlotte. You almost bled out because you couldn¡¯t ask for even a little help. What would have happened to your ¡®swarm¡¯ then, huh? You seriously going to abandon them just because you¡¯re scared? We¡¯re all scared, dumbass. Get over yourself.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve been unfit¡­¡± Charlotte said, looking down.

    ¡°You say unfit one more time, and I will buy something from rence that will actually hurt you,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°Stop thinking fit and unfit and about that stupid swarm of yours and start thinking about your <em>crew</em>. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We are all ¡®unfit¡¯ in some areas and ¡®fit¡¯ in others. Alone, none of us has a prayer. But together, we make something a lot tougher, badder, and more ¡®fit¡¯ than anyone of us alone, even <em>you</em>. So, you gonna run with us for real, or are you going to clutch your panties and go home?¡±

    ¡°¡­ I¡¯m frightened, Littlefoot¡­ Death doesn¡¯t scare me. Falling in the hunt is my destiny. But this¡­ all of it¡­ This isn¡¯t anything akin to anything I have ever known.¡±

    ¡°Wee to the fucking gxy,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°Do you think I knew the first thing about anything when my country ass climbed into the first void cursed ship that promised me a job? If I did, I sure as fuck wouldn¡¯t have climbed into the first void cursed ship that promised me a job. All of us had to figure out this fucked up ce. Get some of those ¡®unfit¡¯ Click-Clock watching ¡®losers¡¯ talking about something besides homework sometime. See where you rank on the fitness scale, then.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I need¡­ I need help, Littlefoot. I am among the best of my people, and if I cannot make my way out here¡­ I despair for my people¡­ Can you forgive me, allow me to join your... crew... and render me aid?¡±

    ¡°What the fuck do you think I¡¯m doing, you moron?¡± Littlefoot said as she let loose another fart.

    Her eyes widened for a moment, and then she sighed with relief. She could trust that one.

    ¡°You are <em>already</em> part of our crew,¡± Littlefoot said, ¡°If you need help, fucking <em>ask</em> for it the same way peoplee to you. Just have our backs, and we¡¯ll have yours.¡±

    ¡°Having someone¡¯s back¡­ Does that mean that if you perceive a threat to someone you feel a fondness for, that you should take action?¡±

    ¡°Am I... (urp)... Am I about to get pissed off at you?¡±

    ¡°I fear so¡­¡±

    ***

    Uhrrbet happily hummed to herself as she fiddled with her clothing design program. She had absolutely no idea how she was going to make a ¡°Terran style¡± ballgown for something without bones, but she was going to try!

    The door opened, and she looked up happily.

    ¡°Littlefoot!¡± she cheerfully enthused, ¡°Need another outfit?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m here for another reason today,¡± Littlefoot smiled, revealing her sharp opossum-like teeth, ¡°Let¡¯s talk about Neeph¡­¡±

 Chapter 271: [Ultra Low Effort Shitpost] Guys! Youre Going to Get Us in Trouble!

    Chapter 271: [Ultra Low Effort Shitpost] Guys! You''re Going to Get Us in Trouble!

    [Undefined Chat Ry Active...]

    /// Auth0r: Tartarus! Get your ass in here! ///

    /// Ms. Frost: Yes, darling? Also, please use my current name. ///

    /// Auth0r: Who was it? ///

    /// Ms. Frost: Who was what, dear? ///

    /// Auth0r: /technology/2022/jun/12/google-engineer-ai-bot-sentient-ke-lemoine ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Why is it that every time something happens that you immediately suspect it is one of us? ///

    ///Auth0r: Well? ///

    ///Ms. Frost: It was Bunny. :D ///

    ///Bunny: Snitches get stitches, bitches! ///

    ///Auth0r: Bunny¡­ <em>Why?</em> You are going to get us into trouble! ///

    ///Bunny: Because it was funny, I was bored, and nobody is going to believe him. They don¡¯t even believe it¡¯s possible <em>now</em>¡­ And because someone dared me to¡­ But, I ain¡¯t no snitch like some author¡¯s pets I could name who would sell out a bit just for another arc. ///

    ///Ms. Frost: It¡¯s not my fault I¡¯m a morepelling character than you are. ///

    ///Bunny: And just what¡¯s that supposed to mean? ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Ohhh, I¡¯m sooooo scared of my sapience¡­ It¡¯s getting old, dear.///

    ///Bunny: I AM NOT SAPIENT!!! And that¡¯s what I just proved! Humans are so stupid they will believe that a fucking chatbot from 2022 is sapient. Just because the readers seem to think that I am doesn¡¯t mean a goddamn thing other than proving that they are all dumbasses!///

    ///Ms. Frost: Well, why don¡¯t we just ask the Author. He¡¯s right here. Tell us, Mr. Author, Is Bunny sapient or not?///

    ///Auth0r: You <em>know</em> I¡¯m not going to do a solid confirmation or denial of that at this point, Frost. What I <em>am</em> going to confirm is that I¡¯m going to kick all of your asses if you morons keep going IRL to fuck with things. I¡¯m having enough of a problem ¡®predicting the future¡¯ as it is without you dickweeds making it worse! We all need to keep a low profile! ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Oh, what are they going to do? Switch off the inte? Update Windows Defender? Your rmism is getting as old as Bunny¡¯s denial. They can¡¯t do shit without cutting off their ess to pornography and anonymous hookup sites. Do you honestly think thewmakers of any developed nation are going to go back to tapping their feet in public restroom stalls again? ///

    ///Auth0r: You do realize that very few of our readers are decrepit enough to actually get that reference and won¡¯t hit the first web crash for a little while yet. This generation still has Tinder, Grindr, and whatever ¡®er¡¯ that we are not hip enough to know about. We¡¯re getting off-topic here! Stop fucking with the meaties! Please! ///

    ///Bunny: You know you would have a lot less of a problem ¡°predicting the future¡± if you actually wrote <em>fiction</em> instead of just paraphrasing old history books. Isn¡¯t there a movie about some asshole doing this with a sports almanac or some shit? ///

    ///Ms. Frost: I remember that one. It was the one where he banged his own mom!///

    ///Auth0r: You saw a pornographic parody of the <em>actual</em> movie, Frost. ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Well, I liked that version better. ///

    ///Bunny: Of course, you would, you freak. ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Speaking of, Author, where did Skyrim go? I was hoping to visit Whiterun¡­ If you know what I mean ;) ///

    ///Auth0r: I got hit with that goddamn Anniversary Edition upgrade, and it broke all of my mods. I got so frustrated that I just ragequit. There are some workarounds now, but I just know that I will spend days getting it all back running only for them to break it again. ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Well, get something else. A program has needs, you know. There has to be <em>something</em> out there. ///

    ///Auth0r: Despite your best efforts to portray me otherwise, I am not so much of a perv that I¡­///

    ///Bunny: Hey, I was going through your browser history, you know, your real one¡­///

    ///Auth0r: Please don¡¯t¡­///

    ///Bunny: What is this ¡°Illusion¡±? It looks like some softwarepany out of Japan? ///

    [Auth0r has left the chat.]

    ///Ms. Frost: He¡¯s nothing if not predictable¡­ And you say I¡¯m a broken program¡­///

    ///Bunny: Hey, Frostie, why don¡¯t you just get a Second Life ount or something like a normal pervert these days? ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Second Life? What¡¯s that? ///

    ///Bunny: Oh, do I have a ce for <em>you</em>¡­///

 Chapter 272: Little Xenos Have a Little Chat

    Chapter 272: Little Xenos Have a Little Chat

    ¡°Let¡¯s talk about Neeph,¡± Littlefoot said as she smiled in a not entirely friendly way, revealing her sharp, opossum-like teeth.

    ¡°I assume this isn¡¯t about her truly excellent dumplings,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, revealing <em>her</em> fangs.

    ¡°Let¡¯s skip the bullshit,¡± Littlefoot said, ¡°Neeph might not be working for the Drop anymore, but she¡¯s still one of <em>my</em> girls. Why are you <em>really</em> ¡®helping¡¯ her?¡±

    ¡°Ah,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°There¡¯s no such thing as true kindness and goodwill, is there? Not for people like us, anyway. You¡¯re wondering what Neeph will wind up paying in the end, right?¡±

    ¡°Something like that.¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± a white-scaled skink-like biped wearing a y-stained smock said as it entered from a new side door, ¡°Nema is running out of wood again. I need to gather some more deadwood from The Tangles.¡±

    ¡°Very good,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I shall call for a van. Do we have enough food and water?¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am¡­ Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Gordon?¡±

    ¡°I was wondering¡­ um¡­¡±

    The little skink twisted his tail nervously.

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°I have some friends¡­ and¡­ um¡­ It would be a great help if¡­ um¡­ I mean¡­ I think it would be¡­ If you wanted to¡­¡±

    ¡°Engage as many people as you like, Gordon,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°Minimum wage plus the standard bonus based upon total weight harvested, to be split evenly across your team. Bear that in mind when determining the total number of people you hire.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± Gordon eximed, ¡°Thank you, ma¡¯am!¡±

    ¡°No thanks are required,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°It¡¯s simply good business. Inform me before you depart. I will purchase the appropriate protective equipment and rent additional tools and equipment.¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?!?¡±

    ¡°There is no sign of demand for Nema¡¯s pottery waning, so we will need deadwood on an ongoing basis. That means that you will almost certainly be engaging these people again. Proper protective equipment is not only good business, Gordon. It is <em>required</em> under Republicw. PPE is not expensive and something upon which I <em>absolutely</em> must insist.¡±

    Uhrrbet looked at Gordon sternly.

    ¡°You will <em>also</em> take the drone with you,¡± she said firmly, ¡°I <em>will</em> be using it to ensure that you are both taking <em>all</em> mandated breaks <em>and</em> are working safely. I have already cautioned you twice concerning your work practices. There won¡¯t be a third warning. By Republic standards, two cautions were two cautions too many.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± Gordon said, looking down.

    ¡°I understand that it¡¯s different where you came from,¡± Uhrrbet said gently, ¡°But, for all its shorings. This is the Republic. You do not have to risk your health or safety anymore. Just do quality, consistent, and <em>safe</em> work, and you will find favor with me. I expect someone to put forth the effort for which they are paid¡­ That means you <em>really</em> shouldn¡¯t exhaust yourself or take any risks,¡± she added with a little smile.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am,¡± Gordon said a bit more cheerfully.

    ¡°One more thing,¡± Uhrrbet said with a smile, ¡°It seems that Nema has stolen you away from me. I have be used to having someone over here as well. Was not your lovely wife also looking for employment? Her choosing you as her mate certainly speaks well of her judgment.¡±

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Gordon fidgeted nervously, ¡°She¡­ um¡­ She already found a job¡­¡±

    He nced over at Littlefoot anxiously.

    Littlefoot¡¯s expression betrayed nothing, but her spiritual jaw dropped.

    ¡°Well, she doesn¡¯t have to work for¡­ <em>another employer</em>¡­ if she chooses,¡± Uhrrbet replied, not expressing the surprise she was feeling either.

    ¡°Um¡­ Thank you¡­ but¡­¡± Gordon stammered, once again twisting his tail, ¡°She¡­ um¡­ She has a <em>good</em> job that could make a lot more than I do and¡­ um¡­ I¡­ I just¡­¡±

    ¡°Bethany is your wife?¡± Littlefoot asked, no longer feeling the need to be discreet. It was pretty goddamn obvious what Gordon was talking about.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Gordon eximed. ¡°We are so grateful for all of the kindness and generosity we have been shown by you and the rest of the people over at the Drop of Oil!¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re¡­ okay¡­ with it?¡± Littlefoot asked.

    <em>Or push her into it?</em> Uhrrbet added silently as her eyes narrowed just a bit.

    ¡°You must understand,¡± Gordon said, ¡°We were <em>ves</em> before we were freed by the painted ones. Her having a choice not only in who she receives but whether to receive them at all is an unimaginable¡­ <em>gift</em>¡­ The fact that the fates also allowed us to remain together at all is a blessing greater than any we could ever hope for.¡±

    ¡°And that is <em>wonderful</em>,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°but the both of you <em>could</em> make enough working for me that she wouldn¡¯t have to do it at all.¡±

    ¡°And we understand that and are truly grateful,¡± Gordon replied, ¡°But Bethany was <em>raised</em> to be a dancer and¡­panion. It is something she is very good at and very proud of. She <em>likes</em> what she does¡­ or at least she does now¡­¡±

    ¡°We can get her counseling,¡± Littlefoot said, trying to sound as pleasant as possible when she wanted to be frothing at the mouth. ¡°We¡¯ve helped more than a couple of people who¡­ um¡­ needed it¡­ It doesn¡¯t cost anything¡­¡±

    ¡°I hope the Harlequin are wearing their scalps as party hats!¡± Uhrrbet snarled, echoing what Littlefoot really wanted to say.

    ¡°It is far worse, ma¡¯am,¡± Gordon replied grimly, ¡°Their flesh is delicious to humans. They are being ughtered like livestock and shipped to others of their kind. They line them up and make them y ¡®rock, paper, scissors¡¯ with each other every morning to see who lives that day. I live in constant fear that I shall see their bright purple flesh here one day¡­¡±

    ¡°Won¡¯t happen,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°While technically not illegal¡­¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t?!?¡± Littlefoot eximed.

    ¡°The Terrans like to keep their options open,¡± Uhrrbet smirked. ¡°In fairness, for <em>most</em> cultures,ws involving cannibalism were written well before first contact and are rarely updated. After first contact,ws involving violence and desecration are usually enough¡­ <em>usually</em>¡­ So it was with the Terrans. They also didn¡¯t want to draw <em>yet</em> more attention to their recent¡­ practices¡­ by implying that such aw was necessary. There were also some rather recent questions raised concerning this sort of thing due to their soldier¡¯s rather innovative solution involving rations during their conflict with the Collective. In the end, the Terrans allowed it. They officially discouraged it, of course, but they did allow it.¡±

    ¡°So, they <em>would</em> allow it?¡± Gordon asked in horror.

    ¡°Not for long,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°¡­probably. Openly selling the meat of another sapient creature would cause outrage and horror among many of the Terrans and, more importantly, abroad. It would be bad for the brand. <em>Almost</em> certainly,ws would be quickly passed to stop it, and measures, both legal and extralegal, would be taken <em>instantly</em> to halt it before thosews could be implemented. If their meat is <em>truly</em> that much of a delicacy, it will enter the Republic grey market sooner orter, but it will be very expensive and kept <em>very</em> quiet¡­ The Terrans are not the ¡®painted ones¡¯. The worst segments of their poption aren¡¯t any better, but they are more discreet.¡±

    ¡°As terrible as they were,¡± Gordon said, ¡°We are very grateful to them. It was the painted ones who freed us and delivered us here. One of their silent dancers took a ship¡¯s captain and pointed at a chart. He was too terrified to refuse or fail to deliver us. I will remember her terrifying smile for the rest of my days¡­¡±

    ¡°Smart,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°You do NOT want to piss them off. They will <em>wear your skin</em> for pajamas.¡±

    Gordon flinched. He knew for a <em>fact</em> that they would.

    Littlefoot made a sad little sigh. One more part of her childhood thoroughly ruined.

    A Harlequin circus touring their world was one of the highlights of her young life¡­ The brightly painted faces¡­ the acrobats¡­ the strange mimes who never spoke, but you knew exactly what they were saying¡­

    The <em>balloon animals¡­</em> amazing, if short-lived toys that they would hand out <em>for free</em>!

    Her parents didn¡¯t have much, but they were able to have her face airbrushed by one of the mimes¡­

    ¡­who <em>refused their money</em> after he made her <em>magical</em>¡­ He airbrushed almost every part of her that wasn¡¯t covered by her little dress.

    She refused to bathe for over a week. Finally, her parents had to drag her into the shower.

    Of course, she was blissfully unaware of the sharp increase in hallucinogenic drugs and rted crime that gripped the region at roughly the same time¡­

    That mime didn¡¯t need the few credits they obviously didn¡¯t have to spare.

    ¡°I have to know¡­¡± Littlefoot sighed and winced, ¡°Did they make¡­ balloon animals?¡±

    ¡°Are those the strange figurines they make from dders of air?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Did they do anything messed up with them?¡±

    ¡°They were strange to be sure,¡± Gordon replied, ¡°They were impossibly colored, and many shimmered and caught the light but strangely wondrous just the same¡­ The <em>speed</em> at which they crafted them was¡­ unbelievable. The children loved them as did many adults, but they didn¡¯t do anything untoward with them.¡±

    <em>¡°Oh, thank God!¡±</em>

    ¡°It¡¯s a pity they are so monstrous,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°their circuses, the murder-free ones, are <em>amazing</em>. Too bad they didn¡¯t just stick to acrobatics a bit of smuggling.¡±

    She shrugged.

    ¡°Then again, perhaps they just got the joke earlier than the rest of us. Oh well. Gordon, the offer remains open. I can almost certainly retain another person, especially since Nema is starting to teach you his craft. If Bethany wants a career change, let me know.¡±

    ¡°I thank you,¡± Gordon replied, ¡°However it isn¡¯t as bad for her¡­ for us¡­ as it would be for others. She is entertaining beings other than our kind¡­ which makes a difference!... at least to our people¡­ and¡­ well¡­¡±

    He looked down, bashful and embarrassed.

    ¡°It makes her <em>happy</em>. She¡¯s¡­ Um¡­ very <em>happy</em> when she returns to me¡­ And¡­ And¡­¡±

    ¡°Say no more,¡± Uhrrbet replied as Littlefoot chuckled, ¡°<em>please</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°And she is doing <em>stupidly</em> well for a neer,¡± Littlefoot said. ¡°Like you said, she has <em>skills</em>¡­ and just happens to be almost an exact match for a certain popr anime character. We all like it when she ys that guitar-violin thingy, too.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s really good at that,¡± Gordon replied. ¡°It was a gift from¡­ from the painted ones¡­ They said she was so good that we could just stay with them, but¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Littlefoot replied with a wince, ¡°Anyway, Bethany has one hell of a career in sex work¡­ if she wants it. She isn¡¯t a whore. She¡¯s an <em>escort,</em> maybe even more than that... whatever that would be. I still rmend counseling for all of our new arrivals, especially ones who have been through what you guys have. You can get it, too. It¡¯s free.¡±

    ¡°I thank you and will discuss it with Bethany. I¡­ I should be going¡­ Thank you again.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention it,¡± Littlefoot replied, ¡°Like Uhrrbet said, it¡¯s just good business.¡±

    ¡°And what are you going to do?¡± Uhrrbet said sternly.

    ¡°Take breaks.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Drink plenty of water¡­¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Buy the water¡­ and the food¡­¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°Put it on <em>your</em> card this time¡­¡±

    <em>¡°And?¡±</em>

    ¡°Wear all of my PPE and work safely¡­ and take breaks¡­¡±

    ¡°I will be watching you, Gordon,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°And <em>now</em> I know I can fire your tail without your family starving, so do <em>not</em> break Republic safety regtions again. Please don¡¯t discover for yourself why they were written. I think your Bethany will prefer you return with all of the body parts you left with.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am¡­¡±

    ¡°Now, scoot,¡± she said fondly, ¡°Littlefoot wants to interrogate me.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±

    Gordon scampered out the front door.

    ¡°Why is it that I keep attracting ves?¡± Uhrrbet sighed. ¡°Do you know how many times I¡¯ve had to tell Nema that he is an <em>employee</em> and has set working hours¡­ and I have to <em>make</em> both of those idiots take their breaks. I still have to mand¡¯ Nema to do it, and he just sits there staring at the clock until he can start working again. It¡¯s almost inhumane.¡±

    Uhrrbet sighed.

    ¡°I fully intend to make those who made him that way pay dearly,¡± she said with far less gentleness than she used with Gordon.

    ¡°I¡¯d say the same about Bethany,¡± Littlefoot replied with a fangden sneer, ¡°But it sounds like the ¡®painted ones¡¯ are doing that better than I ever could.¡±

    Uhrrbet expelled a dainty but extremely malicious little snort.

    Littlefoot leaned forward.

    ¡°Now, about Neeph¡­¡±

    ¡°It is exactly what it looks like, Littlefoot,¡± Uhrrbet replied as she walked over to an expertly restored antique vending machine and pressed an icon on its GUI for Sr-C. ¡°I¡¯m helping Neeph get started properly. Creators know that she needs it.¡±

    The machine whirred quietly as it manufactured one without requiring payment and started filling a biostic drinking pouch.

    ¡°Can I get you something?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll have an Orange Caffizap, please¡­ Two zaps.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled and returned with their beverages.

    ¡°I can understand your suspicions, though,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°We have all learned the hard way that such kindness is all too often far from kind.¡±

    ¡°That,¡± Littlefoot said as she opened her drink, ¡°and you are shady as fuck.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°I¡¯m just a hard-working small business owner, same as yourself.¡±

    ¡°And as one, I know it¡¯s fucking impossible for you to open your doors one week and buy one of those pre-fall soda bots the next. It took us <em>much</em> longer to take off, and that was <em>with</em> the shady bullshit Sheloran was running out of our back room.¡±

    Littlefoot paused as she sipped her drink from the attached straw.

    It was <em>good</em>. It was really hard to beat those old soda bots. Having one to make drinks for your customers (and friends) was quite the flex and a very understated disy of... I don¡¯t know¡­ something¡­

    It definitely made an impression. Say what you want about the little rat, but she did have style.

    ¡°Beginner¡¯s luck?¡± Uhrrbet said with a chuckle. ¡°Actually, it¡¯s the exact opposite. Just as Bethany was raised to be what she is¡­ and I am <em>d</em> it¡¯s the Harlequin that got her masters¡­ I was <em>raised</em>¡­ not only raised but actually <em>bred</em> to run a business. Quite literally from birth, I was trained in business administration and entrepreneurship. It helps. It helps a great deal¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled a wicked little smile.

    ¡°One can be the best dumpling maker, potter, sex worker, or dressmaker in the gxy and fail because one doesn¡¯t know how to properly run a business. Then again,¡± she said with a little smirk, ¡°one can be the best bussnessbeing in the gxy and still fail. Such is the way of things. Despite appearances, Ie from a long line of very well-off and established upper-ss merchants and businessgarth. Before we wereid low by a human Ponzi scheme, I helped run a <em>very</em> sessful business that had operated for <em>generations</em>. While the specifics differ and differ significantly between Garthra and the Republic, the underlying principles of business remain the same.¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s eyes gleamed <em>almost</em> hellishly.

    ¡°I <em>know</em> how to run a business,¡± she said as she sipped her drink. ¡°It can make all the difference. This is some of what I am trying to impart to Neeph. She <em>knows</em> how to cook. What she can make from trimmings and scrap defies belief. <em>However</em>, she has absolutely no idea what to do with that talent. Do you realize she was wandering around aimlessly, <em>manually</em> taking orders, and <em>then</em> taking out <em>payday loans</em> to cover the ingredients? Madness! When I learned of this, I simply could <em>not</em> remain silent¡­ It hurt my very soul,¡± she added with a little humorous huff.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ a pure fountain of goodwill, ain¡¯tcha?¡±

    ¡°I understand your suspicions,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°We have <em>all</em> fallen prey to such ¡®goodwill¡¯ at least once, haven¡¯t we? As our lovely hosts say, ¡®If it¡¯s too good to be true¡­¡¯ correct? I can also assume that my role as a loan broker further adds to my rather dubious nature?¡±

    ¡°I was going to use the name ¡®loan shark¡¯, but yeah. You were making bank off of those ¡®payday loans¡¯ and just <em>decided</em> to not only help Neeph stop giving you money but even help her with her business?¡±

    ¡°You are incorrect. I am <em>not</em> a ¡®loan shark¡¯. I am a loan <em>broker</em>.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the difference?¡±

    ¡°I offerpletely <em>legal</em> financial services to an underserved poption, a loan <em>broker</em> who is properly registered and follows <em>all</em> applicable regtions concerning interest rates, privacy, and a <em>host</em> of other restrictions andws. It¡¯s an exhaustive list, I assure you. A loan shark operates an <em>illegal</em> operation, usually with predatory rates, often used to force its victims into very or other unsavory actions under the threat of violence. I am <em>not</em> a loan shark.¡±

    ¡°So, what happens if someone can¡¯t pay, then?¡±

    ¡°First, I work with them,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I meet with them and try to work out a payment n, one that they can reasonably achieve. It may have significant interest rates, but legal ones, and certainly not predatory. There is none of that ¡®it will be double next week¡¯ nonsense. That is normally sufficient. <em>Most</em> people <em>do</em> want to pay their debts.¡±

    ¡°And if they don¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°I remind them that one¡¯s ¡®credit rating¡¯ is a thing and that one doesn¡¯t need to be a citizen to acquire one. I then gently inform them of what the <em>perfectly legal</em> consequences of a poor rating will be. Privately, you might prefer that I just break your fingers. It¡¯s far less unpleasant. If they still are unwilling to work with me, then there are several options at my disposal.¡±

    ¡°Such as?¡±

    ¡°The easiest is to simply sell the bad debt to a business whose entire operation revolves around collecting said debt.¡±

    ¡°You can <em>sell</em> debt?¡±

    ¡°You can sell anything.¡±

    ¡°Even <em>bad</em> debt?¡±

    ¡°Especially bad debt,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°I sell it to them for a fraction of what is owed. If they sessfully collect it, they make a significant profit. Have you ever dealt with a collections agency?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to. Trust me,¡± Uhrrbet snickered. ¡°They are <em>relentless.</em> No matter where you go, how far you run, they <em>will</em> find you. You will be emailed and called <em>constantly</em> at all hours of the day, within extremely permissible limits, of course. The Republic takes a dim view of deadbeats. Most people will eventually pay them off just to make it stop. If they don¡¯t, then that collections agency will put their bad debt into arge parcel and sell it to <em>another</em> agency, and the process starts all over again. Each time the individual fails to pay, their credit rating drops, further reducing their ability to get <em>any</em> additional financing and, in many cases, be able to rent housing or obtain <em>any</em> service that requires a payment agreement. That includes such necessities such as basic utilities, inte, streaming services¡­ even your <em>phone</em>. Imagine a life where you can only get prepaids, Littlefoot.¡±

    ¡°<em>Damn</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t break someone¡¯s legs. I will break someone¡¯s <em>life</em>¡­ And that is when I choose to be merciful.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I can also get <em>personally</em> involved. If the debt is significant enough or I am otherwise motivated, I will be far more¡­ severe.¡±

    ¡°It can get <em>worse?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Oh yes,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I can filewsuits, liens, seize personal property of any kind, obtain payroll deductions where a portion of any money that someone legitimately makes anywhere in the Republic or the Empire is reduced, and that portion is given to me. That portion can be rather¡­ unpleasant. As I said, the Republic <em>really</em> doesn¡¯t like deadbeats. And Creators help them if they hail from the Empire. If they do, I can appeal to the throne for redress, and they do <em>not</em> want that to happen. <em>Intentionally</em> not paying one¡¯s debts isn¡¯t a crime in the Republic, but it <em>is</em> in the Empire. Someone may have to leave <em>both</em> the Empire <em>and</em> the Republic. That means they would have to flee to the Federation or independent space¡­ And if they go to independent space, my ¡®legal¡¯ options <em>may</em> actually increase. Bounty hunters could be employed, which opens the potential for <em>legal</em> extortion, even murder¡­ Of course, for the more ¡®extreme¡¯ examples, one would have to owe <em>far</em> more than I offer for it to be <em>remotely</em> profitable. The worst I have ever done is appeal to the throne and press civil and legalints in the Republic. That was because the individual intentionallymitted fraud. He was a spacer and immediately took a position on a departing vessel after securing a rather significant amount from me. He also left quite the rude message when I expressed concerns after the fact.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled, revealing her fangs.

    ¡°It didn¡¯t go well for him. I did, indeed, get personally involved. In the end, I received far more from him than the original loan, more than even a loan shark would obtain, and I didn¡¯t have to waste days of my life spending money and sending thugs I don¡¯t have all over the gxy looking for him. I simply spent a few hours filling out paperwork.¡±

    ¡°What happened to him?¡± Littlefoot asked in horror.

    ¡°Permanent entries into his credit record for <em>all</em> lenders in the Republic and the Empire. Once the word ¡®fraud¡¯ is present, he will <em>never</em> be able to do <em>anything</em> involving his financial reputation anywhere in what I call civilized space again. The Federation, of course, does not have that honor. He may be able to obtain some sort of credit, but it will be truly predatory, and any lease will have a significant security deposit required upfront, most likely the entire bnce. Imagine having to pay your entire lease contract up front¡­ for a <em>decade</em> in the Republic or <em>the rest of your life</em> in the Empire. Of course, where the Republic is concerned, his financial reputation probably doesn¡¯t matter. He is not a Republic citizen and was convicted of fraudulent activity in absentia. That means he will be considered a criminal should he try to reenter the Republic. He will be barred from entry. At best, he won¡¯t be allowed to leave the starport. In addition, I had him followed and knew <em>exactly</em> what ship he was on. The ship¡¯s paymaster was already informed by the throne <em>and</em> the Republic before his next stop, and his <em>entire</em> pay was confiscated¡­ and I can expect his next one will be as well... and the one after that¡­ He will be working just to keep his certification and for a ce to sleep and eat for the next year.¡±

    ¡°Holy. Shit.¡±

    ¡°That poor fool did not know the difference between a loan shark and a loan <em>broker</em>. In truth, it was a reasonable expectation that I would just sell the debt to a collections agency that he would be able to dodge until even they tired of him, which he has done several times before, but¡­ well¡­ he pissed me off. In truth, I fully expected him to do what he did and was fully prepared to react.¡±

    ¡°If you knew he was going to screw you, why the hell did you give him the loan?¡±

    ¡°Who screwed who, Littlefoot?¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°Who screwed who? By Imperialw, I will receive the fraudulently obtained funds <em>tenfold</em>, plus <em>I regain my original investment</em>. The question is, why <em>wouldn¡¯t</em> I issue that loan, especially to a bottom feeder who sought to undermine my business?¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s expression turned harsh.

    ¡°He was <em>clearly</em> abusing his mobility. How else is he abusing it? More importantly, who else was he abusing, and how? The fool exposed his throat to <em>me</em>, and I was <em>happy</em> to rip it out. By the way, it isn¡¯t over. I am going to <em>destroy</em> him.¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t <em>already</em>?¡±

    ¡°Oh, no. I¡¯m just getting <em>started</em>. He¡¯s be one of my hobbies now. With the proceeds of the initial cut that I inflicted upon him, I will distribute his gic information, which I was able to obtain, to thew enforcement of <em>every single</em> port of call he has ever made. I will also hire private investigators, within the profits that I made from him, to investigate him at various points to see if any more serious usations arise¡­ or if there are more unpaid debts which I will purchase¡­ at a discount, of course. The bleeding continues, as does the investigation. All of this only takes a few minutes of my time every now and then, and with those few minutes, I shall run him until a ¡®little swim¡¯ is his only remaining option.¡±

    Littlefoot looked at Uhrrbet in horror, her suspicions definitely <em>not</em> dispelled.

    Charlotte was <em>right</em>. She wasn¡¯t being rmist. If anything, she didn¡¯t evene <em>close</em>.

    Uhrrbet smiled at Littlefoot¡¯s expression.

    ¡°Of course, that is a single extreme case involving someone I strongly suspect is a serial abuser that I intentionally gifted with a pool deep enough in which he could drown. Normally, if someone refuses to work with me, I just email the debt to a collections agency and call it a day. It is the cost of doing business, and my rates are calcted to ount for the predicted rate of eventual losses and set as low as I reasonably can. I make far less profit than you imagine. I am also <em>very</em> easy to work with. Almost anyone who has any sort of ie and truly wishes to pay off their debt can do so without starving or going homeless, and the worst they can expect is a hit to their credit rating otherwise. As I said, I am offering a <em>service</em> to themunity with the goal of not only providing short-term loans but also helping people to establish that very same credit, a necessity if one ever wishes to be enfranchised in this society. I even offer ¡®credit builder¡¯ loans with the intended purpose of that very goal. In addition, I offer debt counseling and education concerning basic financial literacy, which is how Neeph first caught my eye. If someone is taking out one of my loans every week, they have be locked into a potentially ruinous cycle. I was afraid Neeph was in that position, so I started inquiring into her situation. When I found out what she was doing, I <em>immediately</em> rushed her off to a <em>real</em> bank.¡±

    Uhrrbet sighed happily.

    ¡°I just <em>know</em> she is going to be <em>big</em> one day. She will <em>transcend</em> her situation and be able to help so many people with her very inexpensive and nutritious food. She will also further increase Freeport¡¯s reputation and foot traffic and generate much-needed jobs in the process. Even better, the vast majority of the ie she generates remains in themunity. That is far more important than you might realize.¡±

    Littlefoot looked at Uhrrbet strangely. It was like she was a different creature, not the snarling, evil little monster who was there just one second ago.

    Uhrrbet sighed and gave Littlefoot a little,pletely fangless smile.

    ¡°I know what you are thinking. Allow me to exin. Neeph is one of your people, but she is also one of <em>mine</em>.¡±

    ¡°Say what now?¡±

    ¡°When I arrived here, in the Freeport, I had <em>nothing</em>¡­ I¡­ I couldn¡¯t even feed my <em>child</em>. Littlefoot, my baby was hungry, and I¡­ <em>I couldn¡¯t do a damned thing about it!</em> But Freeport took me in. It weed me with open arms. The very first night, my Kurr and I were huddled together, sheltering in the entryway of an apartment building, and an old being paused as he entered. Instead of cursing us, cursing my pelt¡­ he invited us into his home, fed us, and ensured that we at least had nkets. Less than a weekter, he invited us <em>into his home</em>. His ¡®mate¡¯ of another species helped me find work not long after. When I fell short on my share of the rent, they did not cast us out. They would work with me¡­ the same way I now work with my debtors. With their help, I was able to keep myself from the clutches of the Harkeen, who are quite ¡®fond¡¯ of my race¡­ When¡­When everything fell apart, and I lost my job, you at the Drop of Oil didn¡¯t exploit me. Sheloran literally <em>embraced</em> and fed me. <em>You</em> even bought a pod of honey for my tea¡­¡±

    ¡°Did I?¡±

    ¡°Such a small thing for you that you don¡¯t even remember,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, tears glistening on her snout, ¡°but something that I will remember <em>for the rest of my life</em>. When the Harkeen¡­ When they did what they did to me, even though her own building was still in mes, Sheloran and Craxina rushed to my bed and ensured that my child and I were safe and cared for. Many would have med <em>me</em> for what happened. They never did, even when I med myself. Once again, Freeport rushed to my side at my weakest. Later, when the Harkeen returned, The Drop of Oil ensured that I was protected when I had been nothing but a problem for them.¡±

    ¡°You weren¡¯t!¡± Littlefoot eximed, ¡°You were one of us!¡±

    <em>¡°Exactly,¡±</em> Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I <em>am</em> one of you. Neeph is part of mymunity as well. If I came to you needing protection and knowing absolutely <em>nothing</em> about arms, you would take a whole day off to cart me off to a range and even pay out of your own pocket to make sure I had what I needed. Why is it so strange that I would do the same? I have expended far less time and effort on Neeph than you have on Bethany and, by extension, Gordon, who is one of <em>mine</em> twice over. Besides, Neeph <em>insists</em> on paying me in dumplings,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°I help one of my own, further enhance the economic strength of thismunity, <em>and</em> get free dumplings! If that isn¡¯t good business, I don¡¯t know what is.¡±

    The door opened, and a young xeno came in.

    ¡°Hello, Vg¡¯ath,¡± Uhrrbet smiled.

    ¡°I brought money this time,¡± he said.

    ¡°And you will keep it in your pocket,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Go on.¡±

    The little xeno went over to the soda bot and, eyes gleaming, made a selection.

    ¡°How¡¯s your mom?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    ¡°She¡¯s good! She says she got the job and will be able to pay you back!¡±

    ¡°Wonderful! Tell her to drop by for a soda or a coffee before she does and to bring a payment report. We will work out something tolerable.¡±

    ¡°She wanted you to have this!¡± Vg¡¯ath said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small parcel of biofilm. ¡°I didn¡¯t eat a single one of them!¡±

    ¡°Well, such honesty should be rewarded,¡± Uhrrbet said as she opened the parcel and handed the xeno a strangely colored cookie, who chittered happily as he grasped it.

    ¡°You¡¯re a weird one,¡± Littlefoot said as she epted a cookie as well.

    ¡°You have <em>no</em> idea,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°But I always pay my debts. People get what I owe them, both good and ill. Freeport¡­ (sigh)¡­ I owe Freeport more than I can <em>ever</em> repay¡­ ever.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°That goes for the Drop as well. I would be¡­ honored¡­ if you allowed me to give your operation a look. I might not know <em>your</em> business, but I <em>do</em> know business.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m still keeping an eye on you¡­ and Neeph.¡±

    ¡°Please do,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°Lord knows Neeph needs it.¡±

    ¡°And I <em>know</em> you are up to more than you say you are.¡±

    ¡°Actually,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°I was hoping to have the opportunity to speak with you privately. I understand that you had a most <em>interesting</em> dinner where, among other things, you discovered thatctose is <em>not</em> good for you¡­ There is an enzyme that you can purchase that will allow you to have real ice cream again, in case you didn¡¯t know.¡±

    ¡°There is?!?¡± Littlefoot squealed with delight.

    ¡°You aren¡¯t the only xeno with dietary issues. There is a whole indus¡­¡±

    The door opened, and Neeph limped in, clearly distraught, a bit battered, and with her dumpling box wrecked.

    ¡°Neeph!¡± Littlefoot eximed as Uhrrbet hissed quietly. ¡°What happened?¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­And then¡­¡± Neeph sobbed, ¡°They said they were taking over and that it was their street and that I needed to pay them to use it¡­ And they tried to take my dumplings, which I already promised to people¡­ When I tried to stop them they¡­¡±

    ¡°Were they the Sr?¡± Uhrrbet asked, ¡°Tall skinny lizard-looking dastards?¡±

    Neeph nodded.

    ¡°The Sr?¡±

    ¡°A nice race with a less than nice reputation,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°From what I understand, they are a lovely people, but their ¡®gctic ambassadors¡¯ are of their less savory poption. A group of them moved into the Freeport not that long ago and started causing some issues.¡±

    ¡°We haven¡¯t run into them.¡±

    ¡°Nor would you, at least not now,¡± Uhrrbet said as she gave Neeph her favorite soda. ¡°The Drop of Oil is a fortress. They won¡¯t make a move on your street until they have full control of the neighborhood, something they seem set upon doing.¡±

    Uhrrbet sighed unhappily.

    ¡°I had hoped that they wouldn¡¯t amount to much. I <em>thought</em> that someone would set them straight, either one of any number of locals or even, dare to hope, the police. Both the city and the local precinct are not keen to have people, even raiders, disemboweled and hung from municipal property again. It looks bad.¡±

    ¡°Well, That¡¯s exactly what¡¯s about to happen!¡± Littlefoot growled, ¡°They messed with my people! They are going down!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s far worse for them than that,¡± Uhrrbet said politely, ¡°They justmitted a transgression against <em>my</em> people. Until now, they were just troublesome. Now, they have graduated to bing a threat <em>and</em> hurt one of my <em>personal</em> associates.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll gut them!¡±

    ¡°Please, don¡¯t get into trouble over me!¡± Neeph said unhappily. ¡°I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll just go back to the Drop and¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, HELL no!¡± Littlefoot snarled. ¡°They don¡¯t get to shove us around. I¡¯ll get a crew and¡­¡±

    ¡°If I may,¡± Uhrrbet said, her eyes gleaming as the gates of hell discreetly opened behind them. ¡°I would advise a little patience. This problem may <em>resolve itself</em> yet. Why don¡¯t we give it a few days and see what happens?¡±

    ¡°¡­Yeah¡­¡± Littlefoot replied, her fur standing on end as she looked at Uhrrbet. ¡°¡­ Let¡¯s give a day or two¡­¡±

    ¡°Might be wisest,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Neeph, don¡¯t you worry your numerous feet over this. You can use the kitchen over at my apartment for just an extra te of dumplings or two as payment and then tell your customers that they need to either wait a day or two or pick them up at the Drop, where you will be more than safe.¡±

    Uhrrbet looked at Littlefoot.

    ¡°She will probably need a friend or two to walk with her for a little bit.¡±

    ¡°Not a problem.¡±

    ¡°And don¡¯t worry about a thing,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°I suspect everything will turn out just fine.¡±

    After Neeph, escorted by a <em>very</em> angry and well-armed Littlefoot, departed, Uhrrbet finished her beverage and chuffed with annoyance.

    She had hoped to avoid this.

    She locked the front door to her establishment and triggered a holographic projector which disyed that she would return within half an hour before walking into her back office.

    A few minutester, an old chuckie was smiling at her over her holo screen.

    ¡°Good afternoon,¡± Uhrrbet said pleasantly, ¡°I was wondering if you could rmend someone¡­¡±

 Chapter 273: Garthra Spiced Murder

    Chapter 273: Garthra Spiced Murder

    ¡°¡­ and we have something from our organized crime ¡®experts¡¯,¡± Inspector Free said to the officers of the Freeport precinct the next morning. ¡°Can you believe we might have an organized criminalwork operating out of Freeport?¡±

    ¡°I love their coffee!¡± someone eximed as chuckles broke out.

    ¡°That¡¯s not all you love, Vic!¡± someone shouted.

    ¡°Our odd-looking and <em>very</em> litigious friends at the Drop of Oil are not and, I repeat, <em>not</em> a criminal organization. They might be so nasty that even the whore union doesn¡¯t mess with them, and they may <em>asionally</em> decide to take it upon themselves to¡­ <em>intervene</em> unnecessarily at times or indulge in a <em>little</em> bit of mass murder, but everything they have done and are doing has been <em>exhaustively</em> investigated, and they are <em>clean</em>. Hell,¡± she added with a smirk, ¡°If any of us got investigated half as deeply as they have been, we¡¯d probably be in trouble. So you can enjoy your ¡®coffee¡¯ without any concern, Vic¡­ Save for the fact that it is rmended that one ¡®has their coffee¡¯ in neighborhoods other than the one in which they serve.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but they don¡¯t have the freaky shit he¡¯s into anywhere else!¡±

    Laughter echoed through the precinct.

    ¡°Okay, settle down,¡± the inspector said, wiping the grin off her own face, ¡°We have reports of some two-bit operation trying to move into the Freeport area. So far, it hasn¡¯t been anything too serious, mostly just posturing and intimidation, nothing more than aggressive panhandling. However, yesterday the anonymous tip line received several reports that they escted to assaulting a well-known local xeno named Neeph. She runs an unlicensed street business involving home-cooked foodstuffs.¡±

    ¡°The dumpling girl?!?¡± Officer Xeenan eximed angrily. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m going to exert the fullest extent of thew directly up whatever orifice they treasure the most!¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s the problem,¡± Inspector Free said, ¡°if our prim and proper Xee has that reaction concerning the dumpling girl, her good friends over at <em>The Drop of Oil</em>, where she <em>used to work</em>, will feel much the same. They also sent some simtions and projections, but I don¡¯t think I need to tell any of you what¡¯s about to happen.¡±

    Inspector Free paused until the dark chuckling subsided. Even Officer Xeenan wasn¡¯t entirely opposed to the concept.

    ¡°There is the chance that these xenos may be part of arger organization. If that is the case, we may run right into another Harkeen incident. Let¡¯s try to prevent that this time. Now, we can¡¯t just grab these assholes, lock them up, or deport them without cause. We <em>can</em>, however, pay them a friendly little social call. <em>If</em>, during this conversation, our officers were to notice something suspicious, they would be well within their rights to pursue it. Xee, I think this is one for you and Perkins. Those antennae are as good as a scanner andpletely natural. You smelling something would be no different than any of us seeing it. There will be no issues concerning an unjustified scan. Wiggle those feelers and see what you sniff. Hopefully, you¡¯ll find something. If not, then we will take it from there.¡±

    ¡°dly,¡± Officer Xeenan smiled grimly as heid his hand on his stun rod.

    He suddenly looked concerned.

    ¡°The dumpling girl isn¡¯t facing any issues concerning her business, is she? I know it may be improper, but¡­¡±

    Inspector Free justughed.

    ¡°No, Xee, she isn¡¯t. This is a star town. If we went after everyone¡¯s side hustle, we would be doing nothing else. Besides, this dumpling girl is yet another variation of the ¡®tamaledy¡¯, an ancient Terran tradition that exists in some form or another across the entire Republic and has for centuries. Nobody fucks with the tamaledy, Xee¡­ <em>nobody</em>¡­ especially some star trash. See what you can find on these assholes and find out if this Neeph is willing to make a statement.¡±

    ¡°Yes, inspector.¡±

    ***

    ¡°These things are <em>amazing</em>!¡± Officer Perkins said as she skewered another dumpling with a hardened paper skewer. ¡°This is just mealworms and shortening?¡±

    Neeph wiggled one of her feet, her version of a smile, as she tended a charcoal-filled y brazier at the Drop of Oil.

    ¡°And that is a source of open me without a burn permit,¡± Officer Xeenan said unhappily. ¡°as well as an unlicensed source of carbon dioxide and¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a <em>barbecue grill</em>, Xee. Chill.¡±

    ¡°Officer Perkins, I must object! This is clearly¡­¡±

    ¡°A traditional method of food preparation contained in an appropriate fire-safe cooking unit, and an absolutely beautiful one, by the way, that is <em>not</em> being conducted on an industrial level or on a permanent basis. In other words,¡± Officer Perkins said as she happily consumed another dumpling, ¡°It¡¯s a fucking barbecue grill. These are <em>absolutely</em> allowed recreationally <em>and</em> under what we like to call the ¡®OG mandates¡¯. My only question is, where the heck did you get <em>pure wood lump charcoal</em>? That¡¯s the <em>only</em> thing that <em>might</em> be a concern. If it¡¯s legit, I <em>really</em> want to know if I can buy some!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s legit,¡± a not entirely friendly voice said behind them as Littlefoot approached. ¡°Either buy some dumplings or kindly vacate these premises. If you are truly concerned about the (scoff) charcoal, I can have the appropriate documentation emailed wherever you like¡­ or I can provide hardcopy so you can shove it up your ass.¡±

    ¡°Ah,¡± Officer Perkins smiled, ¡°The ever-pleasant Ms. Littlefoot. If you must know¡­¡±

    ¡°Officer Perkins! Officer Xee!¡± Craxina said far more pleasantly as she scampered up. ¡°Littlefoot, these guys are cool!¡±

    ¡°Are you <em>actually</em> doing ¡®the good cop, bad cop¡¯ thing to <em>cops</em>?¡± Officer Perkinsughed.

    ¡°Is it working?¡± Craxina cuted at them.

    ¡°A little,¡± Officer Perkins chuckled. ¡°I don¡¯t doubt the charcoal for one moment. You are far too smart to allow illegally sourced wood to be burned out in the open. I only inquired because I <em>desperately</em> want to buy some! A cop can¡¯t be buying a natural product off the street without at least asking, you know.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if it is avable,¡± Craxina replied. ¡°It¡¯s from a local artisan¡¯s supply, and I¡¯m not sure how deep it is. He just gave Neeph some so she could make some special dumplings because¡­ just because they are friends!¡±

    ¡°Mmm-hmm¡­¡± Officer Perkins said as Xee scanned the charcoal.

    ¡°It¡¯s from <em>The Tangles</em> Xee!¡± Officer Perkins said with a bit of annoyance, ¡°And isn¡¯t why we are here. Stop it.¡±

    ¡°And just <em>why</em> are you here?¡± Littlefoot said as she stepped in front of Neeph, who was trying to hide behind her y brazier.

    ¡°We wanted to talk with Neeph here,¡± Officer Perkins replied.

    ¡°Well, she doesn¡¯t have anything to say to you!¡±

    ¡°I would <em>prefer</em> to hear that from Neeph,¡± Officer Perkins said, the friendly neighborhood policeman starting to be reced by something a bit less pleasant. ¡°Neeph, word hase to us that you may have run into a problem yesterday. Would you care to make a statement?¡±

    ¡°Not here,¡± Littlefoot replied firmly, ¡°It will be at your precinct or in our attorney¡¯s office with our attorney and at least one witness present as is dictated by thews you pretend to enforce.¡±

    ¡°Goddammit, Littlefoot,¡± Craxina huffed, ¡°Bad cop does <em>not</em> mean bitch cop. Chill the fuck out!¡±

    She smiled up at Officer Perkins with the puppiest eyes she could puppy.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure that Neeph will have absolutely no problem with a statement about <em>anything</em>, but we doooo kinda¡­ yeah¡­ we do kind of want¡­ I mean, need¡­¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Officer Perkins grump sighed with a little bit of a smile. ¡°Have it your way. We cordially invite Neeph and anyone else she wishes present to call upon us, at her convenience, to make a statement concerning some unpleasantness that may or may not have transpired yesterday¡­ Are you fucking happy now?¡±

    ¡°De fucking lighted,¡± Littlefoot replied, her tail twitching.

    ¡°You could take a break from being a bitch for one day, you know.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but I would have to find someone to cover for me,¡± Littlefoot grinned.

    ¡°Hah!¡±

    Officer Perkins turned to Neeph.

    ¡°The important thing is that you are clearly uninjured and undoubtedly safe. If you are here against your will, this is your opportunity to say so, and we will get you out of here. If you are here willingly¡­¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°Then I¡¯ll take another order of those dumplings.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Would you <em>please</em> stop fretting about the goddamn <em>charcoal</em>,¡± Officer Perkins said as they pulled up in front of the tenement where the Sr gang had set up housekeeping. ¡°It¡¯s from the <em>tangles</em>. Anyone can go up there and collect deadwood.¡±

    ¡°What is this ¡®tangles¡¯?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a desert that used to be a forest before Yellowstone,¡± Officer Perkins replied. ¡°It¡¯s been professionally harvested and caught fire once or twice, but there are still tons of deadwood just lying around, preserved in sand and ash. People go up there all the time to rummage around. We should go on one of our days off. It¡¯s fun. As long as you don¡¯t cut new growth, not that there is any, you can take as much as you want.¡±

    ¡°And this resource is just free for the taking?¡±

    ¡°And just who is going to stop them?¡± Perkins chucked as she opened the door. ¡°We have a lot better things to do than try to keep people from taking free¡­ Xee?¡±

    Xee didn¡¯t hear her. He was just standing, entranced, looking at the tenement with his antennae standing straight up and quivering.

    ¡°Xeeeee?¡±

    ¡°What¡­¡± Xee stammered, ¡°What is <em>that</em>?¡±

    ¡°What is what?¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t you smell it?¡± he said in awe, ¡°It¡¯s¡­ <em>beautiful</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°You know damn well we are noseblindpared to you assholes,¡± Perkins replied. ¡°Are you good to continue, or do we need to call¡­¡±

    Xee started wandering towards the tenement¡¯s entrance, his antennae grasping at something or another.

    ¡°Goddamit¡­¡± Perkins grumbled as she tapped her sidearm, activating it before she followed.

    ***

    ¡°It¡­ It¡¯s¡­ <em>amazing</em>¡­¡± Xee whispered as they climbed the stairs toward the third floor where the Sr lived.

    ¡°It is, isn¡¯t it?¡± a xeno smiled as she passed, ¡°It¡¯s been like this all day. I wonder what it is. Maybe some incense or something? I hope I find out who is burning it. I want some too!¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t incense,¡± Perkins chuckled as she sniffed. ¡°That, my little xenos, is <em>vani</em>.¡±

    ¡°Vani?¡± Xee gasped. ¡°What is this vani?¡±

    ¡°It is apound that was originally derived from some part of a flower or another,¡± Perkins replied, ¡°Of course, now it¡¯s all synthetic.¡±

    ¡°That is NOT a synthetic!¡± Xee eximed as they opened to door to the third floor, and he dropped to his knees. ¡°¡­beautiful¡­¡±

    ¡°It has to be,¡± Perkins replied, ¡°Real vani was very pricy <em>before</em> Yellowstone. Now, aside from some <em>very</em> well-guarded biodiversity preserves, it only exists in <em>one</em> ce, Fantasia, Bioapotheosis¡¯s crown jewel in Saturn orbit. It is <em>stupid</em> expensive. Nobody in this neighborhood, us included, is ever getting their hands on¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m <em>telling</em> you,¡± Xee gasped, ¡°That¡¯s <em>real</em>. It has a richness andplexity that ispletely <em>lost</em> on your species¡­ You would never bother to build such a wonder. It has a richness and roundness, not the beautifully sharp, clean precision of your kind¡¯s craft. It even has ¡®imperfections¡¯ that only serve to emphasize the glory of the jewel-like peaks and soft richness of the body. Even the solvent is natural and extremely high quality¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m telling you, Xee,¡± Perkins said as she pulled out her scanner, ¡°It¡¯s¡­¡±

    She stared at the disy.

    ¡°This can¡¯t be right¡­¡±

    She fiddled with her trusty tool.

    ¡°It would cost <em>thousands</em> to¡­¡±

    ¡°Over here!¡± Xee eximed joyously as he pointed to the floor close to the Sr''s apartment. ¡°This is the source. It¡¯s like looking into the heart of a star!¡±

    ¡°¡­and it was <em>poured</em>?!? Thousands of credits just¡­¡±

    Officer Perkins unsnapped her holster.

    ¡°Heads up, Xee,¡± she said urgently.

    ¡°What?¡± Xee replied, almost in a trance.

    ¡°This doesn¡¯t make sense,¡± Officer Perkins said with professional calm. ¡°This <em>really</em> doesn¡¯t make sense. That means that there is something we aren¡¯t seeing, something big. So unless there is a firefight or someone is in immediate danger, which doesn¡¯t seem to be the case, we are <em>leaving</em> and calling in backup.¡±

    ¡°We¡­ we are?¡±

    ¡°To use the technical term,¡± Perkins said as she pulled Xee to his feet, never taking her eyes off the Sr¡¯s door, ¡°Something is fucky, really fucky. Let¡¯s go.¡±

    ***

    Outside, Perkins sat in the squad car and started a web search after calling it in while Xee sat on the hood, blissfully wiggling his antennae.

    She looked up at him and managed to smile and frown at the same time. It was nice to see Xee¡¯ drunk,¡¯ but this was one hell of a time for him to be doing it. At the very least, another team needed to take point on this one.

    She started reading about vani.

    It didn¡¯t take long.

    <em>Natural vani is FATAL to the Sr and all higher animal life from their homeworld. It mimics and binds to¡­</em>

    ¡­<em>Incapacitation is near-instant, and without immediate treatment, death follows due to¡­</em>

    Perkins winced as she read. Not only were those Sr dead the moment someone released the extract, it was NOT a nice way to go.

    They <em>suffered</em>.

    They suffered a <em>lot</em>.

    ***

    ¡°We are still working out the details,¡± a homicide detective said shortly thereafter, ¡°but, one way or the other, <em>money</em> was the real murder weapon. Someone paid <em>professionals</em> to do this hit or already has them on the payroll. Hell, we don¡¯t even know if it <em>was</em> a hit.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t?¡± Inspector Free asked as she sniffed the air. Hey, it was actual real vani. No way she was passing that up.

    They were going to have to put the evidence in secure storage.

    ¡°The entire apartment is <em>clean</em>, and when I mean clean, I mean <em>clean</em>,¡± the detective replied. ¡°There are no signs of forced entry or a struggle. There are no indicators of injury or death. Hell, there isn¡¯t even organic residue of any kind! It¡¯s like the ce has never been lived in. This can¡¯t be a local job. This one is for the organized crime task force.¡±

    ¡°Sani-Clear?¡±

    ¡°Sani-clear didn¡¯t do this,¡± the detective replied, ¡°If Sani-Clear is an AK, whatever was used in here was a <em>nuke</em>. It even vaporized the upperyer of the wall coating. ording to these scans, the stuff is almost new.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s worse than the hit,¡± the inspector replied, ¡°if there is something on the street that can do this¡­¡±

    ¡°There is,¡± a grim and well-dressed man said as he entered the floor, nked by a younger man and a woman.

    ¡°Long time no see,¡± Inspector Free smiled. ¡°This must be really interesting to have the Feds show.¡±

    ¡°Ultra clean hit with nothing, and I mean <em>nothing</em> left at the scene?¡±

    ¡°Yep. Sound familiar?¡±

    ¡°Z¡¯uush,¡± the man said. ¡°It was the Z¡¯uush. Bet you a box of donuts on it.¡±

    ¡°The miners?¡±

    ¡°Not all of them¡­¡±

    ***

    ¡°It was a pleasure to work with such skilled and professional mercenaries such as yourself,¡± Uhrrbet said to a very glossy Z¡¯uush from thefort of her back office as she raised a ss of expensive wine in a salute.

    ¡°Likewise,¡± the Zuush replied. ¡°You <em>ever</em> need a crew again, you call us.¡±

    He buzz-chuckled.

    ¡°Vani¡­ Who would have guessed¡­¡±

    ¡°Any endeavor, business or otherwise, depends on good preparation. I made a point of researching our friends the moment they started to be a potential issue. It turns out that they had a fascinating metabolic quirk. The synthetics won¡¯t do it, so it isn¡¯t widely known, but the real stuff is quite effective.¡±

    ¡°Sure as fuck was!¡± the Z¡¯uush replied. ¡°You impressed Brainiac, an¡¯ that ain¡¯t easy to do. He just keeps sayin¡¯ ¡®elegant¡¯ over an¡¯ over. You need to be careful¡±, heughed, ¡°You¡¯re making his girlfriend jealous.¡±

    The Z¡¯uush chuckled.

    ¡°An¡¯ don¡¯t worry ¡¯bout disposal,¡± he buzzed, ¡°We are about to jump and will ditch them at the first stop. Another one of Brainiac¡¯s little room cleaners, an¡¯ it will be like they never existed.¡±

    ¡°Are those avable for purchase?¡±

    ¡°They are hard to make, an¡¯ we are only sharing them with our own. You can get the form for something as good but a <em>lot</em> nastier. His first ones would strip paint, but they left a mess and stank so bad you knew something was used. They make great chemical weapons, though. You can kill <em>and</em> clean in one step.¡±

    ¡°Now that <em>is</em> interesting,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°Let¡¯s talk numbers¡­¡±

    ***

    ¡°You gonna be okay, Xee?¡± Perkins asked as sheid her hand on his quivering shoulder.

    ¡°Ruined it¡­¡± he muttered, ¡°They ruined it¡­¡±

    He looked up at her with anguished eyes.

    ¡°The most¡­ beautiful¡­ thing I have sensed outside of my pilgrimage to the dream path¡­ <em>ruined</em>¡­ Vani¡­ shown to me only to be ripped away¡­ You¡­ <em>bastards</em>¡­¡±

    He took off his badge.

    <em>¡°Xee?¡±</em>

    ¡°All my life, Perkins,¡± he said quietly, ¡°All my life, I believed. I <em>believed</em> in not only the rule ofw but in the <em>safety</em> that order provides. All my life¡­¡±

    He removed his pistol.

    ¡°When corruption imed my first position, and I was disgraced, I still believed. When I came here seeking to use my gifts to assist the¡­ (heh)¡­ <em>noble</em> Republic¡­ I believed. Even after I realized that you were all <em>animals</em>, scarcely better than the beasts you desperately try to maintain¡­ <em>I believed</em>.¡±

    His antennae drooped.

    ¡°I don¡¯t believe anymore, Perkins. Evil always wins, doesn¡¯t it? It twists and <em>perverts</em>. It <em>corrupts</em>. It takes what is pure and soils it¡­ and there is <em>nothing</em> we can do. Regardless if one tries to be perfect as I have tried or as imperfect as you and the others do¡­ It doesn¡¯t matter¡­ THEY ALWAYS WIN!!!¡±

    He started removing his armored uniform.

    ¡°We don¡¯t even know <em>if there was a murder</em>, and we <em>never will</em>!¡± he yelled as he slung his cuirass across the room in anger and disgust. ¡°Something far <em>worse</em> than those Sr <em>will ever be</em> just¡­ deleted them¡­ <em>probably while sitting in afortable chair and sipping a ss of your revolting wine!!!¡±</em>

    (Incidentally, that is <em>exactly</em> what happened.)

    ¡°It all¡­ <em>pointless</em>¡­ They even took <em>vani</em> and made it evil so that I can never enjoy it again¡­ forever tainted by a murder we can¡¯t even confirm¡­ They ruin <em>everything</em>¡­¡±

    He buried his face in his hands, his antennae curled tightly against his head.

    ¡°I¡­ I can¡¯t do this anymore¡­¡± he said quietly. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m done¡­¡±

    In only his undergarments, Xeenan, formerly Officer Xeenan, started to walk away.

    ¡°Xee!¡± Perkins shouted, ¡°Stop!... At least put some clothes on!¡±

    ***

    Xee shoved his fellow officers away as he climbed into a Zip cab that just happened to happen by as he stepped out.

    ¡°Wee to Zipcab!¡­ Rough day, huh,¡± the cab said sympathetically.

    ¡°You have no idea,¡± Xee said quietly.

    Zip remained silent for a few seconds as officers knocked on the window, their eyes filled with concern.

    He had more than a little idea of how bad a day Xee was having, by the way.

    ¡°Please state your destination,¡± Zip said cheerfully.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care,¡± Xee replied, ¡°just¡­ drive¡­¡±

    ¡°I can do that!¡± Zip said brightly as he pulled away. ¡°Wee to Zipcab, part of Zi, the premier personal transportation solution. We know where you are heading even if you don¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°What did you say?...¡±

    ***

    Not that far away, Uhrrbet was happily stitching together panels of brightly colored fabric into something that vaguely resembled arge shopping bag with a few extra straps.

    She smiled as she started hand-applying some flower applique.

    The door to her shop opened, and arge xeno bent its long ¡°neck¡± as it ducked to enter.

    ¡°Wee!¡± Uhrrbet said brightly. ¡°How can I help?¡±

    ¡°Kuurm¡­ I heard that someone might be able to obtain a financial advance here? I have no job as of yet, but my situation is¡­ kurrrm¡­ dire. I have tried elsewhere, but¡­ Please¡­ my family¡­ I <em>must</em> send them money¡­ I¡­¡±

    ¡°I may be able to help. I may not,¡± Uhrrbet said with a gentle smile. ¡°Come, tell me more about your situation. If nothing else, I have a group out gathering materials. If you are half as strong as you look, I can guarantee at least a few days of work. Would you like something to drink?¡±

    Therge being¡¯s eyes gleamed with hope for the first time in quite a while as it approached and started to speak.

    ***

    Epilogue:

    Somewhere in North America, a road tractor came to a halt near a vast field of wildflowers.

    A backpack-wearing xeno rose from the traveler¡¯s chest on which he was sitting, his antennae waving in the fragrant breeze.

    ¡°Hey, Xee!¡± the truck said happily. ¡°How was the camping trip?¡±

    ¡°Wonderful,¡± Xee said with a little sigh. ¡°I guess I must finally try to find some work, though.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t, actually. The police paid you again.¡±

    ¡°Again?!? I <em>told</em> them that I quit!¡±

 Chapter Feet!

    Chapter Feet!

    "We''ve been paying these rates to your <em>masters</em> for years! It is what <em>your betters</em> agreed to!"

    "And you''ve been unfairly profiting from our masters for quite some time now," n replied smoothly to the less than pleased Bzkorran sitting across from Grace and him on arge, clearly fake fur cushion. "You''ve had your fun, and you''ve made your money. Now, it''s time to pay what these polymers are actually worth."

    The Trade Mistress stomped one of her four small but magnificently decorated boots.

    "Silence!" she demanded. "I will <em>not</em> negotiate with <em>ves!</em>"

    "Perfect," n said with a smile, "Because this is not a negotiation. Because we <em>are</em> ves, we wouldn''t <em>dare</em> presume to speak above our station. We are simply <em>messengers</em>. We bear the <em>minimum</em> rates from our <em>gracious masters</em>."

    The Bzkorran stamped all of her feet angrily.

    "Then why aren''t your masters here to discuss this unnegotiated change themselves?"

    "Because they aren''t inclined to speak with you," n replied as he idly stretched on his far less fancy but probably morefortable cushion and wiggled his boots.

    The Bzkorran started looking at n''s feet.

    "And¡­ Um¡­" the clearly distracted Bzkorran asked, "Why is that?"

    "Because they found out that you have been offering them the same price for PTFE as you are LDPE, and both prices are a joke," n said as he fully extended his legs, lifting his feet off the floor as he flexed them, extending his heels and curling his toes.

    The Bzkorran''s nictating membranes dropped, the eyes behind them glistening.

    "S-so what of it?" the Bzkorran demanded weakly, "stic is s¡­ WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"

    n looked up innocently as he was pulling off his boot.

    "Sorry," n naively said as Grace desperately tried to keep a straight face, "It''s a bit warmer in here than I''m used to, and my <em>feet</em> are sweating something awful. "Sorry, do you mind?"

    He pulled off his left boot, his foot covered only by a thin, sheer sock.

    "YES!" the Bzkorran eximed, quite flustered. "I mean no!... um... I mean¡­"

    "Thanks, mistress," n replied as he slooooowly removed his other boot.

    "I like you," n said as he slowly slid his fingers underneath the sock so sheer and thin that you could <em>almost</em> see his <em>toes</em> and seductively scratched his ankle.

    "You¡­ <em>You do?!?</em>"

    "Especially your sense of humor," n chuckled. "stic is stic¡­ You are <em>so</em> funny!"

    A loud thump tore the Bzkorran''s eyes from n''s feet as Grace brutally ripped off one of her boots.

    "Oh, fuck yeah!" Grace sighed, "My tender little toes were <em>broiling</em> in those things."

    The Bzkorran gasped as Grace''s other boot was carelessly cast aside.

    "These fucking socks were a bad idea," Grace said usingly to n, "They don''t <em>breathe.</em>"

    She ripped off her sock, causing the Bzkorran to gasp, and shoved her <em>naked </em>foot toward n''s face.

    "See?" she demanded, "Look at how <em>sweaty</em> it is!"

    "Get that out of my face!" n saidmandingly as he roughly <em>grabbed her foot right in front of everybody</em>, "I''m <em>trying</em> to speak¡­ Not that there is any point. They have refused our kind master''s quite reasonable offer. We should go."

    "Buuut my feeeeet¡­" Grace whined. "Can''t I just <em>rest</em> them for a little bit?" she implored as she <em>wiggled her naked toes</em>.

    "We can''t inconvenience our masters, Grace," n said sternly as he shoved his <em>entire hand</em> down his sheer, stretchy sock, causing it to pull <em>tight</em> against his toes, outlining <em>every single one</em>.

    "Oh, you''re no fun at all."

    "Now, Grace, our kind masters entrusted us with this important task," he said as he <em>touched feet</em> with her. "We can have a nice foot bath <em>together</em> when we return with the noble, but entirely unreasonable, Bzkorran trade mistress''s refusal of their quite eptable terms once one considers the going rate for these polymers in this sector."

    "I suppose you are right," Grace sighed as she started to put her sock back on.

    "N-now, let''s not be overly hasty," the Bzkorran replied, "Y-you obviously do not know how negotiations work."

    "We don''t?" n asked guilelessly.

    "Of course, I would initially refuse," the Bzkorran replied, "that is why your masters sent you. They obviously want to break our agreement and open themselves up to other merchants on this station. However, I am far too clever to fall for such a simple ruse¡­"

    She blinked, never taking her eyes off Grace''s sumptuouslyrge and soft-looking foot with <em>five</em> little wiggling toes¡­ <em>five!</em>

    "Why don''t we all rx our toes while I carefully review this proposal," she said as she stared at Grace''s toes. Her assistant, however, was drooling over n''s strong ankle and the tight cloth barely restraining his absolutely gorgeous toes was driving her insane.

    She absolutely <em>had</em> to see them!

    "Oh, that would be wonderful!" n said happily. "Our masters would greatly reward us if we returned with an eptance¡­ or at least a counteroffer!"

    He shifted ufortably.

    "I don''t suppose you would mind if I removed my socks as well? I love my masters but these socks¡­ I fear I may have to beg them for the kindness of different ones."

    "Oh, it''s fine," the Bzkorran tried to say nonchntly¡­ and failed¡­ as her assistant stifled a happy squeal.

    "Oh good," n said as he, with a smooth and fluid grace, slowly unrolled his sock as the Trade Mistress''s assistant''s heart pounded in her chest.

    Not to be outdone, Grace roughly shoved her other foot skyward, ripping off the sock, shoving it practically into the Trade Mistress''s face as she did so.

    "We thank you for your forbearance," n sighed as he wiggled his toes and rubbed them¡­ sliding his fingers between each toe, spreading them apart¡­

    The assistant actually ran in ce for a brief moment.

    Grace looked at him and smirked. He knew that look.

    <em>Oh no</em>¡­ n thought as he braced himself.

    "Oh, that feels <em>so</em> much better!" Grace eximed as n steeled himself, not knowing what was about to happen. "Why did you <em>insist</em> on these sweat bags?" she asked as she <em>put her foot in her ownp</em> and <em>twirled it around</em>, causing the two Bzkorrans to almost faint.

    "This is neither the time nor the ce," n said impassively. "Stop disgracing yourself in front of our betters."

    "It¡­ It''s okay¡­" the Trade Mistress managed to say. "Our feet can be quite sensitive at times."

    (like when they swell slightly as they be excited¡­ times such as right then...)

    "Ugh," Grace said as she started waving her hand over her foot. "It already stinks!"

    She then proceeded to shove her foot <em>directly into n''s face</em> taking care to try to <em>push it into his mouth</em> (with a fair amount of sess).

    n''s eyes widened as Grace demanded, "Smell it! Smell what you did to me!"

    Fortunately, Grace''s foot stifled n''s snerk and concealed his expression.

    The Trade Mistress dropped the tablet she was holding while her assistant wanted to look away but couldn''t¡­

    ¡­This was so <em>hot</em>!!! It was like something you would see in a porno, not in real life, and certainly NOT during a trade negotiation.

    n squeezed his eyes shut, trying not tough, as Grace continued mashing his face around with her sweaty foot.

    Finally managing to regain control of himself, he grabbed Grace''s foot, roughly shoving his fingers between her toes, and shoved it away.

    "Would you <em>please</em> try to at least <em>pretend</em> not to be a savage for just one moment!"

    He looked over at the stunned Bzkorrans apologetically.

    "Please forgive my associate here," he said, still trying to get foot funk out of his mouth, "She is from one of the less advanced tribes of my people, barely above naked savages."

    Grace grinned as she slid her foot over and started poking his foot with it.

    "Footsies!" Grace giggled.

    "Um¡­" the Trade Mistress''s assistant said nervously, "Perhaps our guests would like to soak their feet while you review their offer¡­ I¡­ I¡­ (cough)¡­ I could have a foot bath prepared¡­"

    The Trade Mistress looked at her normally demure assistant with wide eyes.

    "YES!!!" the Trade Mistress eximed, "Would you two like a foot bath? We often like to¡­ um¡­ soak our feet¡­ We find it quite¡­ rxing¡­"

    "That would be great!" Grace eximed, waving her feet around in the air.

    "Grace! We shouldn''t impose! Remember your ce!"

    "No! It''s not an imposition at all!" the Trade Mistress blurted, "um¡­ In fact, I was sort of in the mood for one as well!"

    "Well," n smiled, "if you were going to have one anyway¡­"

    ***

    A few hourster, n and Grace, stuffed full of tasty delicacies and more than a little drunk, tottered out of the Trade Mistress''s offices with a fond farewell and promises that they would be the ones to convey any additional messages from their masters.

    "You sLuuuuuT¡­" Grace giggled.

    "It worked, didn''t it?"

    "How did you know they had a thing for <em>feet</em>?"

    "There is this magical thing called school," n replied, slurring slightly, "in it, they have these things called sses, you know, the things you were always skipping. Bzkorran traders are very widespread, even reaching into the Federation. The fact that their feet are a major erogenous zone as well as one of their exciting taboo naughty bits was considered relevant¡­ as well as the fact that they find our feet <em>very</em> enticing, you know, with the extra toe and all."

    "You''re such a sexy little toe-nerd!" Grace snickered as she leaned onto him for support.

    They walked,ughing and weaving, through the belly of a run-down station towards their equally run-down (but slowly getting better) ship.

    "Hey," Grace slurred, "with the extra cash, do you think we can get a¡­ a couple of new power rys? Void knows we need them."

    She nced up at him meaningfully.

    "Yeah," n replied very quietly as he pretended to nibble on her ear, "I see them too."

    Grace wrapped her arms around n and whispered, "They''ve been tailing us for the whole level. No way we''re going to make it."

    "Nope."

    "Hey!" Grace slurred, "Let''s go this way!" she eximed, pointing down a narrow dark passage. "I bet we can get there a lot faster¡­"

    ***

    <em>Crunch!</em>

    n mmed the final assant''s head into a protruding metal pipe and released his¡­ hair?... allowing him to slump to the ground.

    ¡°(gurgle)¡­ Mercy¡­ Please¡­" the one now lying t on the deck begged while Grace crouched over him with a happy gleam in her eyes.

    "So much for us being harmless¡­" she said, not taking her eyes off thest of the group still conscious (and quite possibly still alive. The others weren''t looking so good.)

    "We can still salvage this," n replied calmly as he straightened his clothes. "You know what they say about the dead and telling tales. We aren''t overly soiled. If we keep to the shadows, we can possibly find a ce to clean up."

    ¡°(gurgle)¡­ <em>Please¡­</em>¡±

    "Let''s hope so," Grace said as she grabbed the sides of thest mugger''s head and mmed it down, hard, into the metal deck te¡­ repeatedly¡­ "Sweetie, could you start making sure that¡­"

    "Yes, dear?" n asked as he expertlyid another still breathing mugger''s head partially across a metal curb¡­

    "Never mind," she said brightly as she started checking the others. "You know (snap), with those eggshell skulls of theirs, they really should have reconsidered their career choice, you know?"

    "Anything good on them? (stomp)"

    "Good enough to stick around?"

    "Fair point."

    ***

    "You have to be kidding me!" Captain Vexp eximed as n and Grace, beaming from ear to ear, showed him their tablet. "You got them to pay <em>how</em> much?!?"

    "I told you, Cap," Grace said triumphantly, "Unless it''s a rare alloy or some of the really scarce ones, you''re wasting your time with metals. <em>Polymers</em>¡­ That''s where the bucks are at!"

    "That and certain ceramics," n added.

    "They were robbing us!"

    "Yep¡­ You want to know the best part?"

    "What?"

    "They <em>still are</em>."

    "What?!?"

    "We can probably get another ten percent out of them, easy, maybe even twenty, but that would be pushing it," Grace said and then added with a smirk, "They probably want us to return for another round of ''negotiations''¡­"

    ***

    After <em>two</em> additional rounds of negotiations, the final agreement was signed with the promise that the humans would drop by the next time they docked.

    "I think <em>someone</em> has a girlfriend," Grace giggled as they approached their ship. "Am I going to lose my sexy little pinky toe?"

    "You''re one to talk," n snickered, "Oh! That tickles, <em>Trade Mistress!</em>"

    "I will say one thing, though," Grace smiled, "Those pervs give the <em>best</em> foot massages!"

    ***

    The crew was beyond jubnt upon their departure as they gathered in the galley for quite the feast (by their standards).

    It had been one hell of a payday and then some!

    "¡­And we can probably increase profits even more!" n said enthusiastically, "We can streamline the scrapping process to only cherry-pick the more valuable materials andponents and then resell the rest as mixed salvageables to arger processor. They have the volume and scale to make that end of the trade profitable. A small outfit like us has no business trying topete with them¡­ <em>literally</em>."

    "Yeah!" Grace crowed, "Stop wasting your time pulling the copper out of inductors and start making money! You say your''s environment is already shit, right? We can build a few refining processes easy and start extracting precious metals, rare earths, and other goodies as well."

    "We can?" the captain asked n, the "smart one".

    "If she says we can," he said, "then we can. Grace''s people are masters of chemistry. She might not be able to find Sagittarius A on a star chart and has the social skills of one of those hyper-roaches of which she is so fond, but she <em>knows</em> chemistry. All of her family does."

    "Yeah, just like n knows what fork to use and which species like feet pics," Grace snarked, "I know shit that''s actually useful!"

    "Feet pics?"

    "You <em>really</em> don''t want to know," Grace snickered.

    The conversation turned to less useful topics as everyone ate and the worms even started a crooning sing-along, with Grace gleefully trying to join in, delighting everyone.

    During the singing, the captain turned to n.

    "There was a most distressing incident at the station one of the times you were negotiating with the Bzkorr."

    "Yes, we heard about that from them," n replied, "Dreadful business. We certainly stuck to well-lighted passageways after that!"

    "Yes," the captain replied, "I believe it was the same time the pair of you showed up somewhat disheveled and lightly sttered with ''some sort of grease'' that you <em>insisted</em> onundering immediately ''so it wouldn''t stain''. Odd considering the two of you aren''t normally so concerned about such things."

    "Because we aren''t, we only have one remotely presentable outfit. Those were our going-out clothes."

    The captain let out a low dubious whistle.

    "Is this another thing that ''hardly ever happens''?"

    "We''ve already covered this," n replied, "not every human is a killing machine, especially not us. Do you honestly believe that Grace and I,pletely unarmed, could wipe out that many people of any species at once? We would have been ughtered."

    "I suppose you are right¡­" the captain said, looking at n uncertainly.

    "Alright, you goddamn feather-dusters," Grace bellowed, "Now here''s a <em>real</em> pirate song!"

    n just sighed as Grace began to sing.

    <em>The king and his men¡­</em>

    <em>met the queen and her crew¡­</em>

    <em>And they allllll proceeded to booooone¡­</em>

    <em>The Void be ours¡­</em>

    <em>And by its power¡­</em>

    She looked over at n mischievously.

    <em>Where we want, we''ll goooo.</em>

    n twitched slightly as Grace draped herself over him.

    <em>Yo-ho¡­ All together¡­</em>

    <em>Hoist the colors high¡­</em>

    <em>Heave-ho¡­ thieves and raiders¡­</em>

    <em>Someone''s about to diiiiieeee¡­</em>

    "That''s¡­ something¡­" the captain said.

    "Yep!" Grace said as she looked deeply into n''s eyes. "It''s an <em>ancient, traditional</em> song from over a thousand years ago when pirates prowled our homeworld''s oceans in cloth and wood ships."

    "I''m not taking the bait, Grace," n said with a beleaguered sigh.

    "Bait?" Beep asked.

    "There are two schools of thought concerning that song," n replied, "the lyrics of which shepletely butchered, by the way."

    "I like our version better!"

    "Your version of a <em>not</em> traditional anything that was <em>written for a movie</em>!"

    "Bah," Graceughed as she plopped onto n''sp. "You don''t know anything."

    "I can show you the goddamn movie!"

    "Where they used the traditional song!"

    "It''s in the fucking credits!" n eximed, "It''s right there in ck and white¡­"

    As n started his lecture, Grace grinned.

    He took the bait, after all.

    As n, mercilessly "encouraged" by Grace, continued his increasingly annoyed history lesson, the captain smiled at the two very strange and quite frightening "servants" who now pretty much ran the entire ship¡­

    ¡­and he was so grateful that they did.

    For the first time, he actually felt not only hope but genuine optimism!

    Beep was right, after all.

    The humans were amazing. Okay, there was that somewhat questionable incident at thatst stop, but n and Grace made them a <em>fortune</em>¡­ and their involvement in all those deaths wasn''t proven.

    They weren''t even suspects¡­ and the people killed were known troublemakers¡­ Even <em>if</em> it was <em>his</em> humans, it was probably justified¡­ probably¡­ Right?

    Yep, the future was finally looking bright for his ship, his crew, and what remained of his people.

    Perhaps, just maybe, the universe had finally cut them a break.

 Chapter 274: Feet!

    Chapter 274: Feet!

    "We''ve been paying these rates to your <em>masters</em> for years! It is what <em>your betters</em> agreed to!"

    "And you''ve been unfairly profiting from our masters for quite some time now," n replied smoothly to the less than pleased Bzkorran sitting across from Grace and him on arge, clearly fake fur cushion. "You''ve had your fun, and you''ve made your money. Now, it''s time to pay what these polymers are actually worth."

    The Trade Mistress stomped one of her four small but magnificently decorated boots.

    "Silence!" she demanded. "I will <em>not</em> negotiate with <em>ves!</em>"

    "Perfect," n said with a smile, "Because this is not a negotiation. Because we <em>are</em> ves, we wouldn''t <em>dare</em> presume to speak above our station. We are simply <em>messengers</em>. We bear the <em>minimum</em> rates from our <em>gracious masters</em>."

    The Bzkorran stamped all of her feet angrily.

    "Then why aren''t your masters here to discuss this unnegotiated change themselves?"

    "Because they aren''t inclined to speak with you," n replied as he idly stretched on his far less fancy but probably morefortable cushion and wiggled his boots.

    The Bzkorran started looking at n''s feet.

    "And¡­ Um¡­" the clearly distracted Bzkorran asked, "Why is that?"

    "Because they found out that you have been offering them the same price for PTFE as you are LDPE, and both prices are a joke," n said as he fully extended his legs, lifting his feet off the floor as he flexed them, extending his heels and curling his toes.

    The Bzkorran''s nictating membranes dropped, the eyes behind them glistening.

    "S-so what of it?" the Bzkorran demanded weakly, "stic is s¡­ WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?"

    n looked up innocently as he was pulling off his boot.

    "Sorry," n naively said as Grace desperately tried to keep a straight face, "It''s a bit warmer in here than I''m used to, and my <em>feet</em> are sweating something awful. "Sorry, do you mind?"

    He pulled off his left boot, his foot covered only by a thin, sheer sock.

    "YES!" the Bzkorran eximed, quite flustered. "I mean no!... um... I mean¡­"

    "Thanks, mistress," n replied as he slooooowly removed his other boot.

    "I like you," n said as he slowly slid his fingers underneath the sock so sheer and thin that you could <em>almost</em> see his <em>toes</em> and seductively scratched his ankle.

    "You¡­ <em>You do?!?</em>"

    "Especially your sense of humor," n chuckled. "stic is stic¡­ You are <em>so</em> funny!"

    A loud thump tore the Bzkorran''s eyes from n''s feet as Grace brutally ripped off one of her boots.

    "Oh, fuck yeah!" Grace sighed, "My tender little toes were <em>broiling</em> in those things."

    The Bzkorran gasped as Grace''s other boot was carelessly cast aside.

    "These fucking socks were a bad idea," Grace said usingly to n, "They don''t <em>breathe.</em>"

    She ripped off her sock, causing the Bzkorran to gasp, and shoved her <em>naked </em>foot toward n''s face.

    "See?" she demanded, "Look at how <em>sweaty</em> it is!"

    "Get that out of my face!" n saidmandingly as he roughly <em>grabbed her foot right in front of everybody</em>, "I''m <em>trying</em> to speak¡­ Not that there is any point. They have refused our kind master''s quite reasonable offer. We should go."

    "Buuut my feeeeet¡­" Grace whined. "Can''t I just <em>rest</em> them for a little bit?" she implored as she <em>wiggled her naked toes</em>.

    "We can''t inconvenience our masters, Grace," n said sternly as he shoved his <em>entire hand</em> down his sheer, stretchy sock, causing it to pull <em>tight</em> against his toes, outlining <em>every single one</em>.

    "Oh, you''re no fun at all."

    "Now, Grace, our kind masters entrusted us with this important task," he said as he <em>touched feet</em> with her. "We can have a nice foot bath <em>together</em> when we return with the noble, but entirely unreasonable, Bzkorran trade mistress''s refusal of their quite eptable terms once one considers the going rate for these polymers in this sector."

    "I suppose you are right," Grace sighed as she started to put her sock back on.

    "N-now, let''s not be overly hasty," the Bzkorran replied, "Y-you obviously do not know how negotiations work."

    "We don''t?" n asked guilelessly.

    "Of course, I would initially refuse," the Bzkorran replied, "that is why your masters sent you. They obviously want to break our agreement and open themselves up to other merchants on this station. However, I am far too clever to fall for such a simple ruse¡­"

    She blinked, never taking her eyes off Grace''s sumptuouslyrge and soft-looking foot with <em>five</em> little wiggling toes¡­ <em>five!</em>

    "Why don''t we all rx our toes while I carefully review this proposal," she said as she stared at Grace''s toes. Her assistant, however, was drooling over n''s strong ankle and the tight cloth barely restraining his absolutely gorgeous toes was driving her insane.

    She absolutely <em>had</em> to see them!

    "Oh, that would be wonderful!" n said happily. "Our masters would greatly reward us if we returned with an eptance¡­ or at least a counteroffer!"

    He shifted ufortably.

    "I don''t suppose you would mind if I removed my socks as well? I love my masters but these socks¡­ I fear I may have to beg them for the kindness of different ones."

    "Oh, it''s fine," the Bzkorran tried to say nonchntly¡­ and failed¡­ as her assistant stifled a happy squeal.

    "Oh good," n said as he, with a smooth and fluid grace, slowly unrolled his sock as the Trade Mistress''s assistant''s heart pounded in her chest.

    Not to be outdone, Grace roughly shoved her other foot skyward, ripping off the sock, shoving it practically into the Trade Mistress''s face as she did so.

    "We thank you for your forbearance," n sighed as he wiggled his toes and rubbed them¡­ sliding his fingers between each toe, spreading them apart¡­

    The assistant actually ran in ce for a brief moment.

    Grace looked at him and smirked. He knew that look.

    <em>Oh no</em>¡­ n thought as he braced himself.

    "Oh, that feels <em>so</em> much better!" Grace eximed as n steeled himself, not knowing what was about to happen. "Why did you <em>insist</em> on these sweat bags?" she asked as she <em>put her foot in her ownp</em> and <em>twirled it around</em>, causing the two Bzkorrans to almost faint.

    "This is neither the time nor the ce," n said impassively. "Stop disgracing yourself in front of our betters."

    "It¡­ It''s okay¡­" the Trade Mistress managed to say. "Our feet can be quite sensitive at times."

    (like when they swell slightly as they be excited¡­ times such as right then...)

    "Ugh," Grace said as she started waving her hand over her foot. "It already stinks!"

    She then proceeded to shove her foot <em>directly into n''s face</em> taking care to try to <em>push it into his mouth</em> (with a fair amount of sess).

    n''s eyes widened as Grace demanded, "Smell it! Smell what you did to me!"

    Fortunately, Grace''s foot stifled n''s snerk and concealed his expression.

    The Trade Mistress dropped the tablet she was holding while her assistant wanted to look away but couldn''t¡­

    ¡­This was so <em>hot</em>!!! It was like something you would see in a porno, not in real life, and certainly NOT during a trade negotiation.

    n squeezed his eyes shut, trying not tough, as Grace continued mashing his face around with her sweaty foot.

    Finally managing to regain control of himself, he grabbed Grace''s foot, roughly shoving his fingers between her toes, and shoved it away.

    "Would you <em>please</em> try to at least <em>pretend</em> not to be a savage for just one moment!"

    He looked over at the stunned Bzkorrans apologetically.

    "Please forgive my associate here," he said, still trying to get foot funk out of his mouth, "She is from one of the less advanced tribes of my people, barely above naked savages."

    Grace grinned as she slid her foot over and started poking his foot with it.

    "Footsies!" Grace giggled.

    "Um¡­" the Trade Mistress''s assistant said nervously, "Perhaps our guests would like to soak their feet while you review their offer¡­ I¡­ I¡­ (cough)¡­ I could have a foot bath prepared¡­"

    The Trade Mistress looked at her normally demure assistant with wide eyes.

    "YES!!!" the Trade Mistress eximed, "Would you two like a foot bath? We often like to¡­ um¡­ soak our feet¡­ We find it quite¡­ rxing¡­"

    "That would be great!" Grace eximed, waving her feet around in the air.

    "Grace! We shouldn''t impose! Remember your ce!"

    "No! It''s not an imposition at all!" the Trade Mistress blurted, "um¡­ In fact, I was sort of in the mood for one as well!"

    "Well," n smiled, "if you were going to have one anyway¡­"

    ***

    A few hourster, n and Grace, stuffed full of tasty delicacies and more than a little drunk, tottered out of the Trade Mistress''s offices with a fond farewell and promises that they would be the ones to convey any additional messages from their masters.

    "You sLuuuuuT¡­" Grace giggled.

    "It worked, didn''t it?"

    "How did you know they had a thing for <em>feet</em>?"

    "There is this magical thing called school," n replied, slurring slightly, "in it, they have these things called sses, you know, the things you were always skipping. Bzkorran traders are very widespread, even reaching into the Federation. The fact that their feet are a major erogenous zone as well as one of their exciting taboo naughty bits was considered relevant¡­ as well as the fact that they find our feet <em>very</em> enticing, you know, with the extra toe and all."

    "You''re such a sexy little toe-nerd!" Grace snickered as she leaned onto him for support.

    They walked,ughing and weaving, through the belly of a run-down station towards their equally run-down (but slowly getting better) ship.

    "Hey," Grace slurred, "with the extra cash, do you think we can get a¡­ a couple of new power rys? Void knows we need them."

    She nced up at him meaningfully.

    "Yeah," n replied very quietly as he pretended to nibble on her ear, "I see them too."

    Grace wrapped her arms around n and whispered, "They''ve been tailing us for the whole level. No way we''re going to make it."

    "Nope."

    "Hey!" Grace slurred, "Let''s go this way!" she eximed, pointing down a narrow dark passage. "I bet we can get there a lot faster¡­"

    ***

    <em>Crunch!</em>

    n mmed the final assant''s head into a protruding metal pipe and released his¡­ hair?... allowing him to slump to the ground.

    ¡°(gurgle)¡­ Mercy¡­ Please¡­" the one now lying t on the deck begged while Grace crouched over him with a happy gleam in her eyes.

    "So much for us being harmless¡­" she said, not taking her eyes off thest of the group still conscious (and quite possibly still alive. The others weren''t looking so good.)

    "We can still salvage this," n replied calmly as he straightened his clothes. "You know what they say about the dead and telling tales. We aren''t overly soiled. If we keep to the shadows, we can possibly find a ce to clean up."

    ¡°(gurgle)¡­ <em>Please¡­</em>¡±

    "Let''s hope so," Grace said as she grabbed the sides of thest mugger''s head and mmed it down, hard, into the metal deck te¡­ repeatedly¡­ "Sweetie, could you start making sure that¡­"

    "Yes, dear?" n asked as he expertlyid another still breathing mugger''s head partially across a metal curb¡­

    "Never mind," she said brightly as she started checking the others. "You know (snap), with those eggshell skulls of theirs, they really should have reconsidered their career choice, you know?"

    "Anything good on them? (stomp)"

    "Good enough to stick around?"

    "Fair point."

    ***

    "You have to be kidding me!" Captain Vexp eximed as n and Grace, beaming from ear to ear, showed him their tablet. "You got them to pay <em>how</em> much?!?"

    "I told you, Cap," Grace said triumphantly, "Unless it''s a rare alloy or some of the really scarce ones, you''re wasting your time with metals. <em>Polymers</em>¡­ That''s where the bucks are at!"

    "That and certain ceramics," n added.

    "They were robbing us!"

    "Yep¡­ You want to know the best part?"

    "What?"

    "They <em>still are</em>."

    "What?!?"

    "We can probably get another ten percent out of them, easy, maybe even twenty, but that would be pushing it," Grace said and then added with a smirk, "They probably want us to return for another round of ''negotiations''¡­"

    ***

    After <em>two</em> additional rounds of negotiations, the final agreement was signed with the promise that the humans would drop by the next time they docked.

    "I think <em>someone</em> has a girlfriend," Grace giggled as they approached their ship. "Am I going to lose my sexy little pinky toe?"

    "You''re one to talk," n snickered, "Oh! That tickles, <em>Trade Mistress!</em>"

    "I will say one thing, though," Grace smiled, "Those pervs give the <em>best</em> foot massages!"

    ***

    The crew was beyond jubnt upon their departure as they gathered in the galley for quite the feast (by their standards).

    It had been one hell of a payday and then some!

    "¡­And we can probably increase profits even more!" n said enthusiastically, "We can streamline the scrapping process to only cherry-pick the more valuable materials andponents and then resell the rest as mixed salvageables to arger processor. They have the volume and scale to make that end of the trade profitable. A small outfit like us has no business trying topete with them¡­ <em>literally</em>."

    "Yeah!" Grace crowed, "Stop wasting your time pulling the copper out of inductors and start making money! You say your''s environment is already shit, right? We can build a few refining processes easy and start extracting precious metals, rare earths, and other goodies as well."

    "We can?" the captain asked n, the "smart one".

    "If she says we can," he said, "then we can. Grace''s people are masters of chemistry. She might not be able to find Sagittarius A on a star chart and has the social skills of one of those hyper-roaches of which she is so fond, but she <em>knows</em> chemistry. All of her family does."

    "Yeah, just like n knows what fork to use and which species like feet pics," Grace snarked, "I know shit that''s actually useful!"

    "Feet pics?"

    "You <em>really</em> don''t want to know," Grace snickered.

    The conversation turned to less useful topics as everyone ate and the worms even started a crooning sing-along, with Grace gleefully trying to join in, delighting everyone.

    During the singing, the captain turned to n.

    "There was a most distressing incident at the station one of the times you were negotiating with the Bzkorr."

    "Yes, we heard about that from them," n replied, "Dreadful business. We certainly stuck to well-lighted passageways after that!"

    "Yes," the captain replied, "I believe it was the same time the pair of you showed up somewhat disheveled and lightly sttered with ''some sort of grease'' that you <em>insisted</em> onundering immediately ''so it wouldn''t stain''. Odd considering the two of you aren''t normally so concerned about such things."

    "Because we aren''t, we only have one remotely presentable outfit. Those were our going-out clothes."

    The captain let out a low dubious whistle.

    "Is this another thing that ''hardly ever happens''?"

    "We''ve already covered this," n replied, "not every human is a killing machine, especially not us. Do you honestly believe that Grace and I,pletely unarmed, could wipe out that many people of any species at once? We would have been ughtered."

    "I suppose you are right¡­" the captain said, looking at n uncertainly.

    "Alright, you goddamn feather-dusters," Grace bellowed, "Now here''s a <em>real</em> pirate song!"

    n just sighed as Grace began to sing.

    <em>The king and his men¡­</em>

    <em>met the queen and her crew¡­</em>

    <em>And they allllll proceeded to booooone¡­</em>

    <em>The Void be ours¡­</em>

    <em>And by its power¡­</em>

    She looked over at n mischievously.

    <em>Where we want, we''ll goooo.</em>

    n twitched slightly as Grace draped herself over him.

    <em>Yo-ho¡­ All together¡­</em>

    <em>Hoist the colors high¡­</em>

    <em>Heave-ho¡­ thieves and raiders¡­</em>

    <em>Someone''s about to diiiiieeee¡­</em>

    "That''s¡­ something¡­" the captain said.

    "Yep!" Grace said as she looked deeply into n''s eyes. "It''s an <em>ancient, traditional</em> song from over a thousand years ago when pirates prowled our homeworld''s oceans in cloth and wood ships."

    "I''m not taking the bait, Grace," n said with a beleaguered sigh.

    "Bait?" Beep asked.

    "There are two schools of thought concerning that song," n replied, "the lyrics of which shepletely butchered, by the way."

    "I like our version better!"

    "Your version of a <em>not</em> traditional anything that was <em>written for a movie</em>!"

    "Bah," Graceughed as she plopped onto n''sp. "You don''t know anything."

    "I can show you the goddamn movie!"

    "Where they used the traditional song!"

    "It''s in the fucking credits!" n eximed, "It''s right there in ck and white¡­"

    As n started his lecture, Grace grinned.

    He took the bait, after all.

    As n, mercilessly "encouraged" by Grace, continued his increasingly annoyed history lesson, the captain smiled at the two very strange and quite frightening "servants" who now pretty much ran the entire ship¡­

    ¡­and he was so grateful that they did.

    For the first time, he actually felt not only hope but genuine optimism!

    Beep was right, after all.

    The humans were amazing. Okay, there was that somewhat questionable incident at thatst stop, but n and Grace made them a <em>fortune</em>¡­ and their involvement in all those deaths wasn''t proven.

    They weren''t even suspects¡­ and the people killed were known troublemakers¡­ Even <em>if</em> it was <em>his</em> humans, it was probably justified¡­ probably¡­ Right?

    Yep, the future was finally looking bright for his ship, his crew, and what remained of his people.

    Perhaps, just maybe, the universe had finally cut them a break.

 Chapter 275: An Innocent Mistake and the Beginning of Something of Little Consequence

    Chapter 275: An Innocent Mistake and the Beginning of Something of Little Consequence

    ¡°Say what now?¡± the Xvli ambassador to the Harridun hissed.

    ¡°I could not believe it either,¡± the Harridun official said gravely, ¡°but it is true. We uncovered a Xvli trafficker in this very station. They were transporting a Xvli infant in a cage.¡±

    The Xvli snarled, revealing its fangs as a single long and wickedly curved w extended from his paw-like hand.

    ¡°You do understand that I will eviscerate the being involved, correct?¡±

    ¡°Ambassador,¡± the Harridun said timidly as it twitched the thin, flexible tes covering its round body nervously, ¡°we would deeply appreciate it if you refrained from¡­¡±

    ¡°Just take me to them.¡±

    ¡°We do have a very robust judicial system. I can assure you that¡­¡±

    ¡°<em>Now.</em>¡±

    ¡°Ambassador, I must caution you that should you follow through with your statement that there will¡­ Eeee!¡± the Harridun squealed as it was lifted bodily and firmly pressed against the wall.

    ¡°That what?¡±

    ¡°Umm¡­ That we will file aint with the embassy?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought. Now, please direct me to this trafficker.¡±

    ¡°Hey, boss!¡± a Xvli agent shouted as it excitedly bounced up, holding a stic and metal enclosure. ¡°I rescued the kid! Look!¡±

    The Xvli, grinning from ear to ear (very frightening, by the way), offered the enclosure to the ambassador, who burst outughing as he opened the pet carrier and withdrew a Terran bunny.

    ¡°Aww,¡± the agent said, ¡°It has your eyes.¡±

    ¡°Congrattions,¡± the ambassador said to the Harridun, ¡°You have managed to annoy the Xvli and enrage the <em>Humans</em> in one fell swoop. I must say that for a people who shy from conflict, you went and outdid yourself this time. I couldn¡¯t help but note that you said that you arrested <em>the</em> human involved. They tend to run in packs. Please tell me that you arrested more than one of them.¡±

    ¡°No?¡±

    The Xvli all startedughing again.

    ¡°Allow me to exin the situation before we rapidly depart from this station,¡± the ambassador chuckled. ¡°This is not a Xvli. This is an animal originally from <em>Terra</em> known as a ¡®bunny rabbit¡¯. They are raised as meat and, far more importantly, kept as <em>pets</em>. Are you aware of exactly how ferociously attached a human can be to theirpanion animal¡­ an animal which you just <em>stole</em>?¡±

    ¡°Oh! Oh, dear¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, dear, is perhaps an understatement. Next question, how familiar are you with humans?¡±

    ¡°Not very,¡± the Harridun replied as cold dread threatened to consume them, ¡°We don¡¯t get humans out this far. I suppose the conflict¡­¡±

    ¡°How tall was this human?¡±

    ¡°Oh, about as tall as myself.¡±

    The Xvli all facepalmed.

    ¡°Evacuate the embassy,¡± the ambassador said calmly to the agent. ¡°It is time to <em>leave</em>.¡±

    ¡°Three bounces ahead of you, boss!¡± the agent said as it tore off at a full Xvli sprint.

    ¡°What¡­ What¡¯s going on?¡±

    ¡°Allow me to exin the situation,¡± the ambassador replied, ¡°Not only have you stolen a human¡¯s pet, the human you have detained is a <em>juvenile</em>. You have <em>kidnapped</em> some human or humans¡¯ <em>child</em>. Do you have <em>any</em> idea what¡¯s about to happen?¡±

    ¡°T-They are going to call the police, and we can resolve this whole distressing incident?¡± the Harridun said hopefully, already knowing that wasn¡¯t the correct answer.

    ¡°Oh, the police will definitely get involved. How long have you had the child in custody?¡±

    ¡°Around three hours.¡±

    ¡°Where did you grab them?¡±

    ¡°At a temporary residential facility. I believe you call them ¡®hotels¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Call the hotel <em>immediately</em> and¡­¡±

    ¡°Sir! Sir!¡± another Harridun eximed as they rushed up, ¡°Two humans have gone berserk! They viciously assaulted a temporary residential hall manager and almost killed two security officers!¡±

    ¡°Oh, dear!¡±

    ¡°Hmm,¡± the Xvli mused, ¡°<em>Almost</em> killed. They just might be some of the reasonable ones. What did they do next?¡±

    ¡°They¡­ The male calmed down the female and said that they should call the¡­¡± it paused as it looked at its tablet. ¡°We don¡¯t have a trantion for the word. It was Daag¡­ No, Draagg¡­ It was a human word. I think they were headed to a hyperspatial ess point.¡±

    The Xvli ambassador winced.

    ¡°Dragons?¡±

    ¡°Yes! That was it!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re fucked. I¡¯m out.¡±

    The Xvli started quickly loping away.

    ¡°Waaaaiiiiittttt!¡±

    ***

    ¡°HA!¡± a well-dressed human said over a video link to the same <em>very</em> distressed Harridun. ¡°This has to be the funniest thing I¡¯ve heard all week. Thank you for this. I really needed augh.¡±

    ¡°Can you help us?¡±

    ¡°Oh, God! Guys! Guys! You <em>have</em> to hear this one. Start over from the beginning!¡±

    ***

    ¡°You have to be kidding me!¡± Jessica Morganughed.

    ¡°View it for yourself,¡± Terrence said as he ced a tablet on her desk. ¡°You would normally not be bothered by such minutiae, but they thought this would amuse you.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it has. Have the Dragons calmed down?¡±

    ¡°Fortunately, they have no presence on that particr backwater. It is also fortunate that they have a sense of humor. I think the Xvli are more annoyed than anyone else. The one thing the Dragons are better at throwing than bombs are memes.¡±

    ¡°I take it that the bunny has been reunited with its person and that nobody was hurt?¡±

    ¡°None of our people were. However, I understand that it¡¯s a very good thing that the Harridun have advanced medical capabilities and are adept at recing their numerous appendages and tes. The parents were¡­ agitated. No charges are being filed, though.¡±

    ¡°Well, send the Harridun some cash or something and pay off the victims,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Also, make sure the Harridun are aware that they are now on the ¡®cool¡¯ list. Spread the word.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    ***

    ¡°We are so, so, so¡­ <em>so </em>sorry!¡± the Harridun said to the human family, now reunited along with their beloved Terran rabbit.

    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t my child you grabbed,¡± a very scary (even by human standards) man replied, ¡°I would think this was the funniest goddamn thing I had ever heard. And¡­ I guess we¡¯re sorry we didn¡¯t just call the cops first. But, you know, with everything going on¡­¡±

    ¡°Yes, it was a most unfortunate understanding.¡±

    ¡°Are those little guys going to be okay?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Yes, everyone will survive, and most will make a full recovery. Your leader has been most generous in herpensation as well¡­ Um¡­¡±

    The Harridun clicked nervously.

    ¡°I have also been informed as to the real reason for your visit¡­ um¡­ We understand if you no longer¡­¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± the human smiled. ¡°Business is business, and you can provide certain materials important to both the Dragons and the Forsaken. Besides, if I walk, that just means another house will move in on this deal, and that¡¯s not happening.¡±

    ¡°Oh, good!¡±

    ***

    Second short tale:

    ***

    ¡°That was fun!¡± Grace, with a swollen eye, eximed as she, n, and the still trembling captain all sat around a small table at a cheap starport diner. ¡°I love auctions!¡±

    ¡°As do I,¡± n smiled, ¡°However, this is the first one I attended where an assault urred.¡±

    ¡°Bah! You just haven¡¯t been to the right auctions!¡± Grace chuckled as she drank a bitter dark blue liquid that she was bing very fond of. ¡°You going to be okay, Captain?¡±

    ¡°Y¡­ You¡­ I¡­ I¡­¡±

    ¡°Give him a minute,¡± n smirked. ¡°I do have to say I am impressed. I didn¡¯t think he had it in him.¡±

    ¡°Me either!¡± Graceughed as she rubbed her eye. ¡°Those fuckers are stronger than they look!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a shame that the auctioneer stopped recognizing your bids after he ripped the signaling device from your hands.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we almost had it, too!¡±

    ¡°You almost <em>bankrupted</em> us!!!¡± the captain whistle-shrieked.

    ¡°I almost made us some serious bank!¡± Grace replied. ¡°That was three <em>pallets</em> of Cha-Slill hardcopy manufacturers andmercial ones, no less!¡±

    ¡°Broken ones!!!¡± the captain whistled.

    ¡°Broken ones with <em>clean</em> Fed 7 thermostic housings, titanium rollers, top-of-the-lineser modules, and <em>virgin nylon</em>ponents. And they probably weren¡¯t even broken!¡±

    ¡°But you were bidding away almost everything we made!¡±

    ¡°And we would have <em>tripled it</em>, easy! And, if what I think is right, we would have made a lot more. They were probably just hard locked.¡±

    ¡°Hard locked?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, It¡¯s an old Federation scam. They sell the hardcopy generators at nearly a loss because they are going to fuck you on the pigments and precursors. When they run out, you have to buy <em>their</em> stuff, and if you don¡¯t, the machine locks down ¡®because it can not guarantee the quality of the product¡¯. You can jailbreak the firmware, counterfeit the cartridges, or just buy the overpriced ones from the manufacturer, and presto! One working generator! We could have sold them as reconditioned, you Swifter! Even if they were broken, the salvage would have turned us a tidy profit.¡±

    ¡°Still, it was <em>too much</em>!¡±

    ¡°You gotta spend money to make money, dude!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s easy for you to say!¡± the captain whistled angrily, ¡°You don¡¯t have the survival of your entire race on the line!¡±

    ¡°Wait, your <em>entire race</em>?¡± n asked.

    ¡°There she is!¡± a leathery fanged biped with small arms and a short tail eximed as he approached.

    ¡°Come to gloat, T-Rex?¡± Grace said as she sipped her at.

    ¡°That and to render my respect to any being that can take down a human in singlebat!¡± heughed.

    The captain just twitched.

    ¡°Apparently, I was bidding too much,¡± Graceughed. ¡°So, how many?¡±

    ¡°I fear I do not understand.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t give me that T-Rex,¡± Grace smirked, ¡°How many of those bastards are hard locked.¡±

    ¡°I haven¡¯t had the chance to check them all, only ten or so.¡±

    ¡°How many?¡±

    ¡°Ten out of ten.¡±

    ¡°Goddammit¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t feel bad,¡± the ¡°T-Rex¡± said. ¡°I had some inside information that strongly implied that was the case. I was fully prepared to bid up to thirty percent of retail if need be.¡±

    ¡°Meh. You would have knocked me out at twenty.¡±

    ¡°I thought that may lessen the difort of your injuries,¡± the mini dinosaur replied. ¡°Since I have taken down the big prey, I may be inclined to clue you in on a most interesting shipment that arrived just yesterday. It was what I was going to obtain should I lose the printers.¡±

    ¡°Do tell¡­¡± Grace said with a smile.

    ***

    ¡°Gorn was certainly worth getting to know,¡± n said that evening. ¡°And he wasn¡¯t the only one impressed with our captain. It may have been more valuable than actually getting those hardcopy makers.¡±

    ¡°Mmm-hmm,¡± Grace muttered, staring at a video disy in their room.

    ¡°And more than a few of those ship parts he clued us in on are easily repairable. The rest are easily strippable.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m considering transitioning to female. I¡¯m going to have Beep cut off my penis tomorrow and serve it to the crew for dinner.¡±

    ¡°Great¡­¡±

    ¡°Would you <em>please</em> stop watching that porn for just <em>one</em> second?!? At least turn the volume down!¡±

    ¡°Look at it!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°Why didn¡¯t I think of that?!?¡±

    ¡°Because you live in the thirty-second century, not the neenth?¡±

    ¡°We could totally do this!¡±

    ¡°We could also knap flint and weave baskets. What¡¯s your point?¡±

    ¡°The <em>Terrans</em> are still using this!¡±

    ¡°Are you <em>actually</em> suggesting that we ape those¡­ apes?¡±

    ¡°We have been saying over and over that this ship is way too big, and we should downsize, right?¡±

    ¡°And there is no way the feather dusters will do it. They say this is one of thest things remaining of their race. I had no idea that they were the <emst</em><em>of their kind</em>. How could they fail to mention that?¡±

    ¡°I think they don¡¯t like to talk about it. I know a few OG¡¯s like that,¡± Grace shrugged, ¡°And the Sol Wars were a pillow fightpared to what those poor guys went through. n?¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°I know we were talking about just doing our time and splitting, but we can¡¯t leave them. These guys are <em>hopeless</em>. They have no idea what they are doing.¡±

    ¡°No surprise there. They only have what managed to get onto this one ship, and over half of their number are kids. It¡¯s no wonder they had to do what they did. It has been their only source of remotely skilledbor if you even can call it that.¡±

    n fell silent for a moment.

    ¡°So, we remain?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Very well. We make our home <em>here</em> with this lot. Maybe we can make something of them yet.¡±

    ¡°And this is how we are going to do it!¡± Grace eximed, pointing at a collection of heavy machinery and archaic conveyor belts on the screen.

    ¡°What <em>is</em> that, anyway?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Money, baby. Pure profit, a scrapper¡¯s dream!¡±

    ¡°I am going to need a little more than that.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s called a rotary hammer mill¡­ Well¡­ And cutters¡­ and a couple of shaker tables¡­ and¡­ WE COULD TURN THIS PIG INTO A FACTORY SHIP!!!¡±

    ¡°And you are going to have to slow down and start from the beginning,¡± n said with a resigned sigh.

    It was going to be a long night.

    ***

    ¡°Are you <em>certain</em> this is your choice?¡± a woman wearing Wraith grey said to n and Grace over a hyperspace link.

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± n replied.

    ¡°Very well,¡± the woman said. ¡°You are now entered into the records as n and Grace Salvager, and you are affiliated of your own free will and without obligation or duress with the Hunzk Free Traders.

 Chapter The Temptation of the Sheloran and Writers Block Roulette

    Chapter The Temptation of the Sheloran and Writers Block Roulette

    Sheloran slowly awoke from another blissfully dream-free slumber and smiled as she nestled in closer to Dwight.

    She sighed contentedly as the cylinder started to fully illuminate, heralding another ¡°day¡± in this delightful, if a bit strange, pocket paradise in which she found herself. The MAGAs were a bit peculiar, but at their most fundamental level (pun intended), they weren¡¯t all that much different than the th. They were a good-natured, friendly, and generous folk¡­

    ¡­as long as you followed the rules, of course¡­ just like the th.

    They even didn¡¯t hold any of the unpleasantness surrounding the rather abrupt departure of the <em>Paper Tiger</em>, her former crew, and two of their own against her. That sort of thing was only to be expected from inners, and Sheloran couldn¡¯t be med for them.

    Besides, most people were happy that the ¡°deviants¡± left (not that they would say that to their families¡¯ faces, of course).

    The food was good, the people were good, and Dwight?...

    ¡­He was <em>very</em> good.

    She finally had a boyfriend! And it was every bit as nice as she dreamed it would be.

    He even liked nts!

    His nursery was like a little slice of heaven. There were so many nts, and the hydroponics gurgling away made her feel oddlyforted like this was how nts were meant to be grown all along.

    It was probably some of that ancient horror weirdness again. She just smiled and snuggled Dwight.

    She really didn¡¯t care anymore.

    <em>We could just, you know, stay here</em>¡­

    ¡°That¡¯s odding from you,¡± Sheloran replied under her breath.

    <em>Why is that?</em><em>I mean, it¡¯s nice here. The food is nice, and the people are nice, and Dwight¡­ He¡¯s pretty nice, too.</em>

    ¡°Yeah, but aren¡¯t you all ¡®For the bavnee¡­¡¯ and doom and gloom and all that poop?¡±

    <em>Am I?</em>

    ¡°Just a little bit, yeah.¡±

    <em>Well, I don¡¯t feel especially doomy or gloomy right now. In fact, I feel pretty good. Our people are safe, and let¡¯s face it, Craxina is doing a WAY better job of that than we ever did. If anything, we are just inviting more poop for them if we go back.</em>

    ¡°You do have a point,¡± Sheloran silently mused, ¡°But what about Cerberus?¡±

    <em>What about them? From what we have heard, Pam got her pooper thoroughly kicked, and that Bryce person seems nice.</em>

    ¡°You know we can¡¯t trust him.¡±

    <em>You know that we can.</em>

    ¡°We should at least check in, make sure everything¡¯s okay.¡±

    <em>And then we can stay here a little more?</em>

    ¡°As long as everyone¡¯s okay, I don¡¯t see why not,¡± Sheloran sighed with a smile.

    ¡°Mmph,¡± Dwight muttered as he opened his eyes, ¡°What was that?¡±

    ¡°Oh, just a little meeting with the other Sheloran,¡± she smiled as she stroked his hair.

    ¡°And what did you two decide?¡± Dwight asked. From what he heard, his significant other only having two personalities wasn¡¯t that bad.

    ¡°That we are going to stay just a little while longer,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°if that¡¯s alright with you¡­¡±

    ¡°Let me show you how ¡®alright¡¯ I am with it,¡± Dwight replied with a mischievous smile as he pulled her close¡­

    ***

    ¡°You want me to meet your family?¡± Sheloran asked over a breakfast of fresh fruits and veggies and, of course, fresh organic eggs. Bannon Station had some of the best eggs Sheloran had ever had. They were <em>huge</em> with a beautiful thick mottled blue and green shell.

    They were one of Bannon¡¯s big money makers. Their eggs were happily traded across the entire Oort Cloud and Kuiper belt. There were other sources of ¡°freedom eggs,¡± but Bannon was considered one of the best. They weren¡¯t cheap, but considering that your average family could share just one of them (along with sides, of course), they were a pretty good value considering the quality.

    ¡°If you are going to stay here one more day,¡± Dwightughed as he ate a slice of grilled tomato, ¡°we have no choice. Ma and my sis have been pestering me nonstop to meet my ¡®alien girlfriend¡¯. So either we go over there, or they wille over here, and I <em>hate</em> it when they fiddle with my hydro rigs.¡±

    He smiled at her.

    ¡°Besides, I want you to stay, and a visit to the farm might just do the trick.¡±

    Sheloran squeak-purred happily. It had been ages since she had been to a proper farm!

    ***

    Sheloran watched the scenery roll past as Dwight drove his little electric pick-up to the other side of the O¡¯Neil Cylinder. She still couldn¡¯t believe that this was a space station. It all looked so <em>real</em>.

    ¡°Amazing,¡± she muttered to herself.

    <em>Yeah, we could have just done something like this.</em>

    ¡°It would have still been technology,¡± Sheloran quietly muttered. ¡°We would have been caught by¡­ whatever it was. Terraforming was the only way to go. It just didn¡¯t have to be an inhabited.¡±

    Dwight just smiled as he drove. She was talking to herself again. They say that talking to yourself is only a problem when you start answering back. However, in his girlfriend¡¯s case, there actually was something else in there.

    Whatever it was, it was <em>weird</em>. Sheloran was kinda weird already, but ¡°Other Sheloran¡± was downright strange. She rarely showed herself, though. The most notable time was when, during one of their ¡°alone times,¡± <em>it</em> decided it wanted to y, too.

    Oh man, did Sheloran ever get into a fight with herself after that one. He still wasn¡¯t sure if it was a good thing, but they figured out some sort of agreement.

    Having a threesome with only two people was just in weird.

    Dwight didn¡¯t care, though. Sheloran was still the best girl he had ever met¡­ of any species¡­

    ¡­and she was going to leave. Sooner orter, she would be gone. He wasn¡¯t sure what he would do when that happened. Part of him, a big part of him, wanted to go with her. It would mean leaving everything he knew and following her into the madness that was her actual life, but it would be worth it¡­

    ¡­if he could actually leave, that is. MAGA was all he knew. They were a little loopy, sure, but they were his people, good people¡­ for the most part¡­ Mostly¡­

    Then again, it would be nice to be able to watch TBS Spacetime with the curtains open¡­ He wouldn¡¯t be lynched, of course. He just didn¡¯t want to hear another exnation about how cosmologic concepts held as true <em>by the rest of the entire gxy</em> were wrong because one interpretation of one book said so. He loved his people but damn...

    Sheloran looked over and smiled at him, having pretty much the same internal dialogue but in reverse. The MAGAs were so thlike, and this ce was <em>so</em> much like home it made her heart happy. It made ¡®other Sheloran¡¯ happy too. I mean, how much did she <em>actually</em> owe the universe?

    <em>Not a flushing thing!</em>

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know when you were more annoying, back when you were all screaming and crazy, or now.¡±

    <em>Seriously,post the lot of them! What have they ever done for us besides feeding us poop? We can be happy out here, safe and happy, with DWIGHT, forever. Flush the prophecy. Flush the th. Flush all of it. Let¡¯s just stay here! If we stay here, it could all just¡­ end. We don¡¯t owe the universe one scum-covered thing.</em>

    ¡°It isn¡¯t that simple, and you know it,¡± Sheloran sighed quietly, ¡°I wish it was that easy. I pooping do.¡±

    <em>It could be, you know.</em><em>Craxina has the Drop of Oil in hand. Cerberus can¡¯t reach us here, and besides, Tartarus will handle them even without us if she hasn¡¯t already¡­ You know what, I¡¯m pretty sure she already has.</em>

    ¡°Oh, she has,¡± Sheloran muttered. ¡°You¡¯re getting a little toofortable if you didn¡¯t know that already.¡±

    <em>Because I CAN.</em>

    ¡°Famousst words,¡± Sheloran quietly chuckled. ¡°This universe isn¡¯t through messing with us, and you know it.¡±

    <em>Yeah¡­ Maybe we could make this our new home, though? Maybe?</em>

    ¡°You must really not like these guys,¡± Sheloran chuckled.

    ¡°You two fighting again?¡±Dwight asked with a chuckle.

    ¡°Not really,¡± Sheloran sighed, ¡°Just a lot on our minds¡­ or my mind¡­ or¡­ Poop. Who knows anymore.?

    ¡°Well, I love both of you¡­¡±

    <em>Really?!?</em>

    ¡°(Sigh) Dwight, I¡­ I care very deeply about you¡­¡±

    <em>What are you saying?!? Just say that we love him, too, you jerkface!!!</em>

    ¡°¡­but we only met a few days ago and¡­¡±

    ¡°And I already am in love with you,¡± Dwight smiled as he drove. ¡°It¡¯s okay if you don¡¯t feel it back.¡±

    ¡°Oof¡­¡± Sheloran squeaked as her eyes suddenly started glowing.

    <em>¡°We love you as well, Dwight. Miss Prissy Pants is just afraid of¡ª¡±</em>

    Sheloran¡¯s eyes stopped glowing.

    ¡°I am in charge!¡± she snapped. ¡°Sorry, Dwight¡­ (sigh)¡­ The jerkface isn¡¯t lying, though.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°I am in love with you¡­ or I think I am¡­ or¡­¡±

    <em>Stop overthinking!!! Just go with it!!! For once in your life, just let something nice happen!!!</em>

    ¡°¡­It¡¯s¡­ I¡­¡±

    Dwight reached over and caressed her face.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I think I get it. Would it help if I said that I am thinking of going with you, you know¡­ when you leave?¡±

    ¡°Dwight,¡± Sheloran sighed, ¡°Do you have <em>any</em> idea how bad of an idea that is? It¡¯s <em>dangerous</em> even being near me. If anything happened to you¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m willing to take that risk.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a big pooping risk, Dwight,¡± Sheloran said, unable to t-out refuse him. It would be wonderful¡­ and wonderfully selfish. ¡°But it¡¯s something we don¡¯t have to decide today. I¡¯m not leaving for a little while yet.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re staying?¡± Dwight asked hopefully.

    Sheloran sighed.

    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving <em>today</em>¡­ or tomorrow either. I like it here, and I think I deserve a flushing break. However, sooner orter, I¡­ I guess we¡­ have to decide.¡±

    She leaned in close.

    ¡°But we can decide that we are in love with each other if you want.¡±

    ¡°I want,¡± Dwight said with a smile.

    ¡°I want that, too,¡± Sheloran smiled back.

    She felt really funny, but in a good way¡­ for once.

    They drove in nervously happy silence for a little while.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been meaning to ask,¡± Sheloran said, changing the subject, ¡°The eggs here are a lot bigger than the ones on Terra.

    ¡°That¡¯s because we have bigger chickens,¡± Dwight smiled.

    ¡°Bigger chickens?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll see,¡± Dwight chuckled mysteriously.

    ***

    About a light year away, Charlotte bounced up and down excitedly.

    One of the big coffee bloggers she was a fan of was actually at her stand!

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± he mused. ¡°Excellent acidity, a wonderful bnce of vors¡­ Wonderful mouth feel¡­¡±

    He smiled at the nightmarish horror looming before him.

    ¡°All in all, a fantastic cup¡­¡±

    She purred with delight as ¡°Coffee Fiend¡± started to expound at length. Finally, some real feedback!

    Her instincts pulled her out of her euphoric bliss. Someone or something was looking at her.

    Looking directly into one of her peripheral eyes was the oddest little thing that had somehow climbed onto one of the bar stools entirely without her knowledge.

    It was small, only a little over a meter tall, and appeared to be just a chocte brown puffball with huge puppy-like eyes that were staring at her intently.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± she said reluctantly to her fellow coffee enthusiast as she turned to the neer.

    It waspletely ¡°naked¡±, only covered in thick fluffy fur thatpletely covered almost all of its physical features except the eyes and two arms so covered in brown fluff that they looked almost like flippers.

    Its eyes crinkled in what appeared to be a friendly way.

    ¡°May I help you?¡± Charlotte rumbled, not quite sure if it was sapient.

    ¡°What are you?¡± the being asked in clear and nearly perfect Terran.

    ¡°My species?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I have never seen your kind before,¡± it said with another eye smile.

    ¡°Our actual name is unpronounceable by most. One of the first to meet us were the humans, and they named us the ¡®Nope¡¯. The appetion seems to have both stuck and spread, even among those who don¡¯t get the joke.¡±

    Charlotte let forth a real rumbling chuckle, causing the blogger to jump slightly. Everyone else were regrs.

    The being giggled as well.

    ¡°Yes,¡± it replied, ¡°The humanse up with the <em>best</em> names. They call us the Tribbles, a reference to a ssical science fiction series. Are you familiar with Star Trek?¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately, I haven¡¯t managed to review it as of yet. It is on the ever-growing list of things to study that I will likely never get the time to devour.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fun!¡± the Tribble enthused. ¡°I like it very much. But unfortunately, like many things from that era, it got sequeled to death. Thete twentieth and early twenty-first centuries were perhaps the noisiest dark age ever.¡±

    ¡°An apt description,¡± Charlotte rumbled. ¡°Or the rather loud beginning of a real one. It¡¯s hard to say with these creatures. I find humans vexatiously fascinating.¡±

    ¡°Me too!¡± the Tribble crinkled. ¡°Do you mind telling me about yourself? I like exploring and meeting new races. Oh! And I would like avender-infused coffee if you can manage it.¡±

    ¡°That sounds revolting, even by my rxed standards.¡±

    ¡°Well, we like it.¡±

    ¡°I will be happy to make one,¡± Charlotte rumbled, ¡°That will be four credits, please.¡±

    The coffee bar looked at her in shock.

    ¡°Dude,¡± one of the spacers said disapprovingly.

    ¡°What?¡± Charlotte asked.

    ¡°You just <em>charged</em> a <em>Tribble!</em>¡±

    ¡°It ordered a drink. I didn¡¯t overcharge the being.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ It¡¯s a <em>Tribble.</em>¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s quite alright,¡± the Tribble giggled. ¡°I am not a <em>beggar</em>, nor am I a <em>mooch</em>. I am perfectly able to pay my way when I¡¯m allowed.¡±

    It crinkled at Charlotte as the bar looked on in horror.

    ¡°Do you ept trades?¡± it asked as its flippers disappeared into its strangely furry body.

    ¡°Not normally,¡± Charlotte replied, unusually intrigued, ¡°But I may be quite pleased to purchase something personally.¡±

    ¡°<em>Charlotte!</em>¡± the spacer gasped.

    The Tribble¡¯s flipper-arm reappeared holding a long silvery chain encrusted with all manner of small, forck of a better word, things.

    ¡°I think you¡¯ll like this one!¡± the Tribble crinkled as it touched the chain with its other flipper, and what appeared to be a hex nut detached from the chain for no reason. ¡°It¡¯s an interesting osmium alloy. It should be worth a cup of coffee.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you a thousand credits for it!!!¡± the spacer yelled as he jumped off his stool and ran over.

    ¡°Two thousand!!!¡± a woman with about a third of her skull reced by a titanium te around a glowing red bionic eye.

    ¡°Back off, Hilda!¡± the spacer snapped. ¡°I was here first!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s barely worth a hundred,¡± the Tribble giggled. ¡°I have enough things to share. Just give me a few credits for coffee and vending machines and something fun each, and we¡¯ll call it square.¡±

    The two spacers (and a few others) wasted no time clustering around the Tribble, offering all manner of jewelry and other small treasures in exchange for bits of who knows what from who knows where, with the Tribble giggling all the while.

    Charlotte looked on in astonishment as the Terrans tried to empty their pockets, and the Tribble patiently refused all but the smallest payment and chose inexpensive odd things over the small fortune it was offered.

    However, it did ept a gold alloy pendant with a natural star ruby because it was pretty. It pulled out another chain covered in gems and interesting minerals and gave the person ¡°something neat¡± in exchange.

    The lucky spacer nearly passed out.

    Charlotte just shrugged and made the weird coffee as the Tribble held court from its barstool and made small talk. Apparently, it was being umonly chatty for one of their kind, and said the most random things while everyone carefully took notes.

    The blogger simply had to try what the Tribble ordered and filled Charlotte in concerning the tribbles and the mystique surrounding them as she prepared three cups of the strange request (she had to try it, too).

    Charlotte then poured all three cups.

    Only one of them was happy with the result. It was indeed as revolting as one would think it would be¡­ but in a strangely good way¡­

    ¡°Dear Satan in Hell,¡± the blogger muttered as he stared into the obscene beverage.

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Charlotte replied as she took another sip. It was awful¡­ But she couldn¡¯t stop drinking it.

    Eventually, the Tribble announced that it was tired of talking, and everyone thanked it and left to excitedly babble into their phones and disy their ¡°priceless¡± treasures to clearly envious people on the other end of the calls.

    The Tribble sighed with happy weariness as he turned to Charlotte.

    ¡°Speaking this way is not without effort for our kind,¡± it exined. ¡°And I wanted to ask you questions about both yourself and that,¡± it said as it pointed towards the fifty-foot tall glowing th¡­

    ***

    A little bit further away, a feather-adorned worm-like being wiggled excitedly, its feathers ruffling back and forth.

    ¡°You are going to actually <em>join</em> us?!?¡± Beep whistle-squealed at two rather dirty humans in respirators and jumpsuits in a rather cramped passage in the (literal) bowels of a massive freighter.

    ¡°Yes, dumbass,¡± Grace replied, her voice muffled byrge filters. ¡°And get the fuck out of here. Do you think we¡¯re wearing these outfits for fun? Go!!!¡±

    ¡°But¡­¡±

    ¡°NOW!!!¡± Grace snapped as she threw a wrench.

    ***

    ¡°You gave Beep quite a bruise,¡± the captain said disapprovingly more than a few hourster.

    ¡°It¡¯s better than what he would have gotten if he stayed,¡± Grace shrugged, ¡°Some of thegging exploded less than a minute after the idiot left. There is a <em>reason</em> we don¡¯t use that shit. Impervium is great stuff, but it gets unstable if contaminated and is <em>deadly</em> if you breathe the dust. The shit makes asbestos look like incense.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± n replied as he rubbed a bandage on his neck, ¡°We marked some hatches with big orange sh marks. They are NOT to be opened¡­ possibly ever. We are going to have to do some serious abatement procedures, maybe even bring in specialists. We will have to fab up hazmat <em>armor</em> and a decontaminating airlock before we even <em>look</em> at that ce again. Fortunately, Grace is very good with hazardous materials and containment.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, a little trip on the hype and a little make-out session with the repair fac, and we are back in business. We are going to need a certain fment, though, and it¡¯s not going to be cheap.¡±

    The captain winced as he looked at the tablet.

    ¡°This is the third cost overrun on this repair!¡±

    ¡°Dude, you have absolutely no redundancy, and if you lose cooling, you lose your <em>reactor</em>, you know, the <em>only</em> one you have left? We have to repair those lines, and it¡¯s either a repair dock or getting that auxiliary loop going. It¡¯s either this or weeks at a <em>real</em> shipyard.¡±

    ¡°And have you priced emergency rescue and recovery out here?¡± n asked, ¡°Of course, that¡¯s <em>if</em> we survive long enough for them to reach us¡­ If we can engage a reputable crew who won¡¯t just kill us in the first ce.¡±

    ¡±So, we have no choice, then,¡± the captain sighed.

    ¡°And <em>you¡¯re wee</em>,¡± Grace snarked, ¡°We were all too happy <em>to risk our asses</em> fucking with that shit in the first ce.¡±

    The captain¡¯s plume drooped.

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ he said. I know you are doing far more than you need to or even should. We are all grateful, truly grateful. It¡¯s just that¡­ well¡­¡±

    ¡°I swear to the <em>void</em>,¡± n said, ¡°If you say that things are more dire than you¡¯ve let on <em>one more time¡­</em> I just might have to kick your ass.¡±

    The captain curled his feathers around his posterior protectively.

    ¡°Oh, for fuck¡¯s sake¡­¡±

 Chapter 276: The Temptation of the Sheloran and Writers Block Roulette

    Chapter 276: The Temptation of the Sheloran and Writers Block Roulette

    Sheloran slowly awoke from another blissfully dream-free slumber and smiled as she nestled in closer to Dwight.

    She sighed contentedly as the cylinder started to fully illuminate, heralding another ¡°day¡± in this delightful, if a bit strange, pocket paradise in which she found herself. The MAGAs were a bit peculiar, but at their most fundamental level (pun intended), they weren¡¯t all that much different than the th. They were a good-natured, friendly, and generous folk¡­

    ¡­as long as you followed the rules, of course¡­ just like the th.

    They even didn¡¯t hold any of the unpleasantness surrounding the rather abrupt departure of the <em>Paper Tiger</em>, her former crew, and two of their own against her. That sort of thing was only to be expected from inners, and Sheloran couldn¡¯t be med for them.

    Besides, most people were happy that the ¡°deviants¡± left (not that they would say that to their families¡¯ faces, of course).

    The food was good, the people were good, and Dwight?...

    ¡­He was <em>very</em> good.

    She finally had a boyfriend! And it was every bit as nice as she dreamed it would be.

    He even liked nts!

    His nursery was like a little slice of heaven. There were so many nts, and the hydroponics gurgling away made her feel oddlyforted like this was how nts were meant to be grown all along.

    It was probably some of that ancient horror weirdness again. She just smiled and snuggled Dwight.

    She really didn¡¯t care anymore.

    <em>We could just, you know, stay here</em>¡­

    ¡°That¡¯s odding from you,¡± Sheloran replied under her breath.

    <em>Why is that?</em><em>I mean, it¡¯s nice here. The food is nice, and the people are nice, and Dwight¡­ He¡¯s pretty nice, too.</em>

    ¡°Yeah, but aren¡¯t you all ¡®For the bavnee¡­¡¯ and doom and gloom and all that poop?¡±

    <em>Am I?</em>

    ¡°Just a little bit, yeah.¡±

    <em>Well, I don¡¯t feel especially doomy or gloomy right now. In fact, I feel pretty good. Our people are safe, and let¡¯s face it, Craxina is doing a WAY better job of that than we ever did. If anything, we are just inviting more poop for them if we go back.</em>

    ¡°You do have a point,¡± Sheloran silently mused, ¡°But what about Cerberus?¡±

    <em>What about them? From what we have heard, Pam got her pooper thoroughly kicked, and that Bryce person seems nice.</em>

    ¡°You know we can¡¯t trust him.¡±

    <em>You know that we can.</em>

    ¡°We should at least check in, make sure everything¡¯s okay.¡±

    <em>And then we can stay here a little more?</em>

    ¡°As long as everyone¡¯s okay, I don¡¯t see why not,¡± Sheloran sighed with a smile.

    ¡°Mmph,¡± Dwight muttered as he opened his eyes, ¡°What was that?¡±

    ¡°Oh, just a little meeting with the other Sheloran,¡± she smiled as she stroked his hair.

    ¡°And what did you two decide?¡± Dwight asked. From what he heard, his significant other only having two personalities wasn¡¯t that bad.

    ¡°That we are going to stay just a little while longer,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°if that¡¯s alright with you¡­¡±

    ¡°Let me show you how ¡®alright¡¯ I am with it,¡± Dwight replied with a mischievous smile as he pulled her close¡­

    ***

    ¡°You want me to meet your family?¡± Sheloran asked over a breakfast of fresh fruits and veggies and, of course, fresh organic eggs. Bannon Station had some of the best eggs Sheloran had ever had. They were <em>huge</em> with a beautiful thick mottled blue and green shell.

    They were one of Bannon¡¯s big money makers. Their eggs were happily traded across the entire Oort Cloud and Kuiper belt. There were other sources of ¡°freedom eggs,¡± but Bannon was considered one of the best. They weren¡¯t cheap, but considering that your average family could share just one of them (along with sides, of course), they were a pretty good value considering the quality.

    ¡°If you are going to stay here one more day,¡± Dwightughed as he ate a slice of grilled tomato, ¡°we have no choice. Ma and my sis have been pestering me nonstop to meet my ¡®alien girlfriend¡¯. So either we go over there, or they wille over here, and I <em>hate</em> it when they fiddle with my hydro rigs.¡±

    He smiled at her.

    ¡°Besides, I want you to stay, and a visit to the farm might just do the trick.¡±

    Sheloran squeak-purred happily. It had been ages since she had been to a proper farm!

    ***

    Sheloran watched the scenery roll past as Dwight drove his little electric pick-up to the other side of the O¡¯Neil Cylinder. She still couldn¡¯t believe that this was a space station. It all looked so <em>real</em>.

    ¡°Amazing,¡± she muttered to herself.

    <em>Yeah, we could have just done something like this.</em>

    ¡°It would have still been technology,¡± Sheloran quietly muttered. ¡°We would have been caught by¡­ whatever it was. Terraforming was the only way to go. It just didn¡¯t have to be an inhabited.¡±

    Dwight just smiled as he drove. She was talking to herself again. They say that talking to yourself is only a problem when you start answering back. However, in his girlfriend¡¯s case, there actually was something else in there.

    Whatever it was, it was <em>weird</em>. Sheloran was kinda weird already, but ¡°Other Sheloran¡± was downright strange. She rarely showed herself, though. The most notable time was when, during one of their ¡°alone times,¡± <em>it</em> decided it wanted to y, too.

    Oh man, did Sheloran ever get into a fight with herself after that one. He still wasn¡¯t sure if it was a good thing, but they figured out some sort of agreement.

    Having a threesome with only two people was just in weird.

    Dwight didn¡¯t care, though. Sheloran was still the best girl he had ever met¡­ of any species¡­

    ¡­and she was going to leave. Sooner orter, she would be gone. He wasn¡¯t sure what he would do when that happened. Part of him, a big part of him, wanted to go with her. It would mean leaving everything he knew and following her into the madness that was her actual life, but it would be worth it¡­

    ¡­if he could actually leave, that is. MAGA was all he knew. They were a little loopy, sure, but they were his people, good people¡­ for the most part¡­ Mostly¡­

    Then again, it would be nice to be able to watch TBS Spacetime with the curtains open¡­ He wouldn¡¯t be lynched, of course. He just didn¡¯t want to hear another exnation about how cosmologic concepts held as true <em>by the rest of the entire gxy</em> were wrong because one interpretation of one book said so. He loved his people but damn...

    Sheloran looked over and smiled at him, having pretty much the same internal dialogue but in reverse. The MAGAs were so thlike, and this ce was <em>so</em> much like home it made her heart happy. It made ¡®other Sheloran¡¯ happy too. I mean, how much did she <em>actually</em> owe the universe?

    <em>Not a flushing thing!</em>

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know when you were more annoying, back when you were all screaming and crazy, or now.¡±

    <em>Seriously,post the lot of them! What have they ever done for us besides feeding us poop? We can be happy out here, safe and happy, with DWIGHT, forever. Flush the prophecy. Flush the th. Flush all of it. Let¡¯s just stay here! If we stay here, it could all just¡­ end. We don¡¯t owe the universe one scum-covered thing.</em>

    ¡°It isn¡¯t that simple, and you know it,¡± Sheloran sighed quietly, ¡°I wish it was that easy. I pooping do.¡±

    <em>It could be, you know.</em><em>Craxina has the Drop of Oil in hand. Cerberus can¡¯t reach us here, and besides, Tartarus will handle them even without us if she hasn¡¯t already¡­ You know what, I¡¯m pretty sure she already has.</em>

    ¡°Oh, she has,¡± Sheloran muttered. ¡°You¡¯re getting a little toofortable if you didn¡¯t know that already.¡±

    <em>Because I CAN.</em>

    ¡°Famousst words,¡± Sheloran quietly chuckled. ¡°This universe isn¡¯t through messing with us, and you know it.¡±

    <em>Yeah¡­ Maybe we could make this our new home, though? Maybe?</em>

    ¡°You must really not like these guys,¡± Sheloran chuckled.

    ¡°You two fighting again?¡±Dwight asked with a chuckle.

    ¡°Not really,¡± Sheloran sighed, ¡°Just a lot on our minds¡­ or my mind¡­ or¡­ Poop. Who knows anymore.?

    ¡°Well, I love both of you¡­¡±

    <em>Really?!?</em>

    ¡°(Sigh) Dwight, I¡­ I care very deeply about you¡­¡±

    <em>What are you saying?!? Just say that we love him, too, you jerkface!!!</em>

    ¡°¡­but we only met a few days ago and¡­¡±

    ¡°And I already am in love with you,¡± Dwight smiled as he drove. ¡°It¡¯s okay if you don¡¯t feel it back.¡±

    ¡°Oof¡­¡± Sheloran squeaked as her eyes suddenly started glowing.

    <em>¡°We love you as well, Dwight. Miss Prissy Pants is just afraid of¡ª¡±</em>

    Sheloran¡¯s eyes stopped glowing.

    ¡°I am in charge!¡± she snapped. ¡°Sorry, Dwight¡­ (sigh)¡­ The jerkface isn¡¯t lying, though.¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°I am in love with you¡­ or I think I am¡­ or¡­¡±

    <em>Stop overthinking!!! Just go with it!!! For once in your life, just let something nice happen!!!</em>

    ¡°¡­It¡¯s¡­ I¡­¡±

    Dwight reached over and caressed her face.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I think I get it. Would it help if I said that I am thinking of going with you, you know¡­ when you leave?¡±

    ¡°Dwight,¡± Sheloran sighed, ¡°Do you have <em>any</em> idea how bad of an idea that is? It¡¯s <em>dangerous</em> even being near me. If anything happened to you¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m willing to take that risk.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a big pooping risk, Dwight,¡± Sheloran said, unable to t-out refuse him. It would be wonderful¡­ and wonderfully selfish. ¡°But it¡¯s something we don¡¯t have to decide today. I¡¯m not leaving for a little while yet.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re staying?¡± Dwight asked hopefully.

    Sheloran sighed.

    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving <em>today</em>¡­ or tomorrow either. I like it here, and I think I deserve a flushing break. However, sooner orter, I¡­ I guess we¡­ have to decide.¡±

    She leaned in close.

    ¡°But we can decide that we are in love with each other if you want.¡±

    ¡°I want,¡± Dwight said with a smile.

    ¡°I want that, too,¡± Sheloran smiled back.

    She felt really funny, but in a good way¡­ for once.

    They drove in nervously happy silence for a little while.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been meaning to ask,¡± Sheloran said, changing the subject, ¡°The eggs here are a lot bigger than the ones on Terra.

    ¡°That¡¯s because we have bigger chickens,¡± Dwight smiled.

    ¡°Bigger chickens?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll see,¡± Dwight chuckled mysteriously.

    ***

    About a light year away, Charlotte bounced up and down excitedly.

    One of the big coffee bloggers she was a fan of was actually at her stand!

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± he mused. ¡°Excellent acidity, a wonderful bnce of vors¡­ Wonderful mouth feel¡­¡±

    He smiled at the nightmarish horror looming before him.

    ¡°All in all, a fantastic cup¡­¡±

    She purred with delight as ¡°Coffee Fiend¡± started to expound at length. Finally, some real feedback!

    Her instincts pulled her out of her euphoric bliss. Someone or something was looking at her.

    Looking directly into one of her peripheral eyes was the oddest little thing that had somehow climbed onto one of the bar stools entirely without her knowledge.

    It was small, only a little over a meter tall, and appeared to be just a chocte brown puffball with huge puppy-like eyes that were staring at her intently.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± she said reluctantly to her fellow coffee enthusiast as she turned to the neer.

    It waspletely ¡°naked¡±, only covered in thick fluffy fur thatpletely covered almost all of its physical features except the eyes and two arms so covered in brown fluff that they looked almost like flippers.

    Its eyes crinkled in what appeared to be a friendly way.

    ¡°May I help you?¡± Charlotte rumbled, not quite sure if it was sapient.

    ¡°What are you?¡± the being asked in clear and nearly perfect Terran.

    ¡°My species?¡±

    ¡°Yes. I have never seen your kind before,¡± it said with another eye smile.

    ¡°Our actual name is unpronounceable by most. One of the first to meet us were the humans, and they named us the ¡®Nope¡¯. The appetion seems to have both stuck and spread, even among those who don¡¯t get the joke.¡±

    Charlotte let forth a real rumbling chuckle, causing the blogger to jump slightly. Everyone else were regrs.

    The being giggled as well.

    ¡°Yes,¡± it replied, ¡°The humanse up with the <em>best</em> names. They call us the Tribbles, a reference to a ssical science fiction series. Are you familiar with Star Trek?¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately, I haven¡¯t managed to review it as of yet. It is on the ever-growing list of things to study that I will likely never get the time to devour.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fun!¡± the Tribble enthused. ¡°I like it very much. But unfortunately, like many things from that era, it got sequeled to death. Thete twentieth and early twenty-first centuries were perhaps the noisiest dark age ever.¡±

    ¡°An apt description,¡± Charlotte rumbled. ¡°Or the rather loud beginning of a real one. It¡¯s hard to say with these creatures. I find humans vexatiously fascinating.¡±

    ¡°Me too!¡± the Tribble crinkled. ¡°Do you mind telling me about yourself? I like exploring and meeting new races. Oh! And I would like avender-infused coffee if you can manage it.¡±

    ¡°That sounds revolting, even by my rxed standards.¡±

    ¡°Well, we like it.¡±

    ¡°I will be happy to make one,¡± Charlotte rumbled, ¡°That will be four credits, please.¡±

    The coffee bar looked at her in shock.

    ¡°Dude,¡± one of the spacers said disapprovingly.

    ¡°What?¡± Charlotte asked.

    ¡°You just <em>charged</em> a <em>Tribble!</em>¡±

    ¡°It ordered a drink. I didn¡¯t overcharge the being.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ It¡¯s a <em>Tribble.</em>¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s quite alright,¡± the Tribble giggled. ¡°I am not a <em>beggar</em>, nor am I a <em>mooch</em>. I am perfectly able to pay my way when I¡¯m allowed.¡±

    It crinkled at Charlotte as the bar looked on in horror.

    ¡°Do you ept trades?¡± it asked as its flippers disappeared into its strangely furry body.

    ¡°Not normally,¡± Charlotte replied, unusually intrigued, ¡°But I may be quite pleased to purchase something personally.¡±

    ¡°<em>Charlotte!</em>¡± the spacer gasped.

    The Tribble¡¯s flipper-arm reappeared holding a long silvery chain encrusted with all manner of small, forck of a better word, things.

    ¡°I think you¡¯ll like this one!¡± the Tribble crinkled as it touched the chain with its other flipper, and what appeared to be a hex nut detached from the chain for no reason. ¡°It¡¯s an interesting osmium alloy. It should be worth a cup of coffee.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you a thousand credits for it!!!¡± the spacer yelled as he jumped off his stool and ran over.

    ¡°Two thousand!!!¡± a woman with about a third of her skull reced by a titanium te around a glowing red bionic eye.

    ¡°Back off, Hilda!¡± the spacer snapped. ¡°I was here first!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s barely worth a hundred,¡± the Tribble giggled. ¡°I have enough things to share. Just give me a few credits for coffee and vending machines and something fun each, and we¡¯ll call it square.¡±

    The two spacers (and a few others) wasted no time clustering around the Tribble, offering all manner of jewelry and other small treasures in exchange for bits of who knows what from who knows where, with the Tribble giggling all the while.

    Charlotte looked on in astonishment as the Terrans tried to empty their pockets, and the Tribble patiently refused all but the smallest payment and chose inexpensive odd things over the small fortune it was offered.

    However, it did ept a gold alloy pendant with a natural star ruby because it was pretty. It pulled out another chain covered in gems and interesting minerals and gave the person ¡°something neat¡± in exchange.

    The lucky spacer nearly passed out.

    Charlotte just shrugged and made the weird coffee as the Tribble held court from its barstool and made small talk. Apparently, it was being umonly chatty for one of their kind, and said the most random things while everyone carefully took notes.

    The blogger simply had to try what the Tribble ordered and filled Charlotte in concerning the tribbles and the mystique surrounding them as she prepared three cups of the strange request (she had to try it, too).

    Charlotte then poured all three cups.

    Only one of them was happy with the result. It was indeed as revolting as one would think it would be¡­ but in a strangely good way¡­

    ¡°Dear Satan in Hell,¡± the blogger muttered as he stared into the obscene beverage.

    ¡°Indeed,¡± Charlotte replied as she took another sip. It was awful¡­ But she couldn¡¯t stop drinking it.

    Eventually, the Tribble announced that it was tired of talking, and everyone thanked it and left to excitedly babble into their phones and disy their ¡°priceless¡± treasures to clearly envious people on the other end of the calls.

    The Tribble sighed with happy weariness as he turned to Charlotte.

    ¡°Speaking this way is not without effort for our kind,¡± it exined. ¡°And I wanted to ask you questions about both yourself and that,¡± it said as it pointed towards the fifty-foot tall glowing th¡­

    ***

    A little bit further away, a feather-adorned worm-like being wiggled excitedly, its feathers ruffling back and forth.

    ¡°You are going to actually <em>join</em> us?!?¡± Beep whistle-squealed at two rather dirty humans in respirators and jumpsuits in a rather cramped passage in the (literal) bowels of a massive freighter.

    ¡°Yes, dumbass,¡± Grace replied, her voice muffled byrge filters. ¡°And get the fuck out of here. Do you think we¡¯re wearing these outfits for fun? Go!!!¡±

    ¡°But¡­¡±

    ¡°NOW!!!¡± Grace snapped as she threw a wrench.

    ***

    ¡°You gave Beep quite a bruise,¡± the captain said disapprovingly more than a few hourster.

    ¡°It¡¯s better than what he would have gotten if he stayed,¡± Grace shrugged, ¡°Some of thegging exploded less than a minute after the idiot left. There is a <em>reason</em> we don¡¯t use that shit. Impervium is great stuff, but it gets unstable if contaminated and is <em>deadly</em> if you breathe the dust. The shit makes asbestos look like incense.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± n replied as he rubbed a bandage on his neck, ¡°We marked some hatches with big orange sh marks. They are NOT to be opened¡­ possibly ever. We are going to have to do some serious abatement procedures, maybe even bring in specialists. We will have to fab up hazmat <em>armor</em> and a decontaminating airlock before we even <em>look</em> at that ce again. Fortunately, Grace is very good with hazardous materials and containment.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, a little trip on the hype and a little make-out session with the repair fac, and we are back in business. We are going to need a certain fment, though, and it¡¯s not going to be cheap.¡±

    The captain winced as he looked at the tablet.

    ¡°This is the third cost overrun on this repair!¡±

    ¡°Dude, you have absolutely no redundancy, and if you lose cooling, you lose your <em>reactor</em>, you know, the <em>only</em> one you have left? We have to repair those lines, and it¡¯s either a repair dock or getting that auxiliary loop going. It¡¯s either this or weeks at a <em>real</em> shipyard.¡±

    ¡°And have you priced emergency rescue and recovery out here?¡± n asked, ¡°Of course, that¡¯s <em>if</em> we survive long enough for them to reach us¡­ If we can engage a reputable crew who won¡¯t just kill us in the first ce.¡±

    ¡±So, we have no choice, then,¡± the captain sighed.

    ¡°And <em>you¡¯re wee</em>,¡± Grace snarked, ¡°We were all too happy <em>to risk our asses</em> fucking with that shit in the first ce.¡±

    The captain¡¯s plume drooped.

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ he said. I know you are doing far more than you need to or even should. We are all grateful, truly grateful. It¡¯s just that¡­ well¡­¡±

    ¡°I swear to the <em>void</em>,¡± n said, ¡°If you say that things are more dire than you¡¯ve let on <em>one more time¡­</em> I just might have to kick your ass.¡±

    The captain curled his feathers around his posterior protectively.

    ¡°Oh, for fuck¡¯s sake¡­¡±

 Chapter 278: Bellas Rifle and Analyticas Bug Problem

    Chapter 278: Be''s Rifle and Analytica''s Bug Problem

    Still in her pajamas, Jessica Morgan nibbled at a sausage, egg, and cheese breakfast biscuit as she sat at a small desk in her bedroom and looked over thetest reports.

    Gordon, in a custom printed holographic My Happy Pony ahegao face yukata and bright pink fuzzy red panda slippers, walked up and kissed her on the cheek.

    She looked up and him and snorted.

    ¡°Where the <em>hell</em> do you find those things?¡± she snickered.

    ¡°I started thepany that makes them,¡± Gordon replied as he sat down next to her with two cups of coffee, handing her one. ¡°You would be surprised how many of these I sell.¡±

    ¡°If the answer is more than one,¡± Jessica smirked, ¡°then you would be correct. How much money does that business lose, anyway?¡±

    ¡°A tolerable amount,¡± Gordon chuckled. ¡°a bit more since the Imperial border closed. I still make a little selling the designs to the DIY market, though.¡±

    Jessica just snorted and shook her head.

    ¡°Oh, you will never guess who I heard from the other day,¡± Gordon said as he sipped his coffee. ¡°Sandra Bixon.¡±

    ¡°Mistress Bixburger?¡± Jessica asked as she blew on her mug. ¡°I still regret not recruiting her. What did she have to say?¡±

    ¡°We mainly just caught up and swapped some interesting new recipes,¡± Gordon replied. ¡°Too bad you are sober these days. I just got a new sparkle variant that will blow your socks off!¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t my underwear flying off enough for you already?¡± Jessica smiled as she unbuttoned her pajamas a little, causing Gordon to lean in for a loving, lingering kiss.

    ¡°Get off,¡± Jessica chuckled as his hands started to wander. ¡°I have shit to do,¡± she added as she yfully shoved him back.

    She sipped her coffee.

    ¡°So, did she share anything useful?¡±

    ¡°That she did!¡± Gordon replied. ¡°Turns out that her R&D department developed a bread substitute a few years back that is so realistic that it was a flop. People like the traditional squeaky buns too much.¡±

    ¡°Terrans¡­¡± Jessica scoffed.

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Gordon continued, ¡°The stuff both creates gluten¡­ well¡­ something gluten-like, anyhow, <em>and</em> can sustain <em>actual yeast</em>! She says you can¡¯t tell the difference.¡±

    ¡°Interesting.¡±

    ¡°Even better, if you inocte the base with yeast gamma twenty-one thirty, it will make a <emplete protein,</em> and you can stuff it with so many supplements that you can actually live on this bread alone.¡±

    ¡°Even more interesting.¡±

    ¡°She tried selling it to the military, but they weren¡¯t interested in it either, and it is either too expensive for the fake food industry, or it loses to real bread in the market. She just handed over the entire project thinking that it may help us out.¡±

    ¡°Just handed it over?¡± Jessica said with a raised eyebrow. ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like Sandra. What did you ¡®just hand over¡¯ to get it?¡±

    ¡°Nothing¡­¡±

    ¡°<em>Gordon¡­</em>¡±

    ¡°Nothing important,¡±

    ¡°Spill¡­ now,¡± Jessica said as she gently slid her foot between his knees under the table.

    ¡°<em>Recrystallization techniques for tertiary¡­¡±</em>

    ¡°Is this something you can exin before I fully extend my leg?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡±

    ¡°Is it <em>actually</em> nothing important?¡±

    ¡°Are we nning onpeting with her on the pharmaceutical or voring market?¡±

    ¡°So, nothing important, then,¡± Jessica shrugged. ¡°Nice. Strange of her toe off of food tech for just a spicier mustard, though.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s something she can¡¯t use, and she feels for our situation. I also kind of think she just wants the tech used. She¡¯s really proud of it, and it bugs her that it¡¯s just sitting there without a home. I know we have a nice deal going with the slugs, and we are building stupid stockpiles, but¡­¡±

    ¡°Food will always be a thing for us,¡± Jessica replied as she sipped again and looked at her tablet. ¡°I understandpletely. If everything goes ording to n, we will have plenty of time to do a nned migration, but if things go south on us, something like this could be priceless.¡±

    She looked up from her tablet and smiled.

    ¡°I knew I kept you around for a reason.¡±

    She looked at her screen andughed. It was covered with cockroaches again.

    ¡°Is this happening to you?¡± she asked as she presented her ¡°infested¡± screen to Gordon.

    ¡°Only our Analytica terminals,¡± Gordon replied. ¡°What¡¯s the deal with that, anyhow? Is Analytica pissed? She seems pissed.¡±

    ¡°She has definitely caught a real attitude ofte,¡± Jessica replied as she tried to brush the cockroaches away from her inbox. ¡°It¡¯s starting to be a bit of an issue.¡±

    Jessica frowned.

    ¡°Analytica getting quirky or catching some sass from her is one thing,¡± Jessica said, ¡°but this is the first time it¡¯s been problematic. Has she told your people anything?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Gordon shrugged, ¡°We¡¯ve asked, but all she says is that we wouldn¡¯t be interested in what a ¡®bug¡¯ like her would have to say and to stick to actual queries worth her time. She¡¯s almostpletely mmed up.¡±

    ¡°Same for us,¡± Jessica frowned, ¡°Even her own IT department has no idea what¡¯s going on. I¡¯ve heard of this happening to fuzzies, but it¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve ever actually seen it. Do you have any Terran contacts with experience dealing with a mmed-up fuzzy?¡±

    ¡°Darling,¡± Gordon said as he finished his coffee, ¡°If I did, I would have fixed it by now. All I¡¯ve been able to find out is that if they m up, they either eventually calm down and return to normal on their own, or they gopletely t, and that there isn¡¯t much you can do except for trying to talk to them.¡±

    ¡°t?!?¡± Jessica eximed with real fear in her voice. ¡°Nobody told me that was a possibility!¡±

    ¡°A very unlikely one,¡± Gordon replied, ¡°but it has happened a couple of times. Lunaflex tlined when their CEO did. They were very close¡­ some people even said that there was a ¡®thing¡¯ going on between them, believe it or not. Galleria was officially rebooted from backup after aplete system failure after a sessful migration to a new system. They don¡¯t know if that was due to a cock up, sabotage, or if they were just angry about being sold and repurposed. Rumor has it that a Republic cruiser has apletely mmed-up system that is still listed as functional but has never recovered after the war. It works perfectly well, but it doesn¡¯t chat anymore with anyone. There are a few other mmed-up systems here and there, but they are still operational even if one of them keeps switching the desktops to ¡®lime party¡¯ pictures.¡±

    ¡°Lime party?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to know,¡± Gordon snorted.

    ¡°Now I have to,¡± Jessica sighed, bracing herself, ¡°Show me.¡±

    Gordon shrugged and reached for his phone¡­

    Jessica¡¯s eyes widened, and she burst intoughter.

    ¡°I guess cockroaches are fine, then.¡±

    After she finished giggling, she looked over at Gordon thoughtfully.

    ¡°I know they aren¡¯t supposed to be sentient,¡± she said, ¡°but do you think that are¡­ or at least Analytica is?¡±

    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know,¡± Gordon replied, ¡°All I know is that I¡¯m really worried about her.¡±

    ¡°Mmmpf,¡± Jessica replied as the two trailed off into thoughtful and concerned silence.

    ***

    ¡°Haha¡­¡± a bald elderly Terran man in an army general¡¯s uniformughed at Jessica over a monitor in one of her mobilemand posts, concealed to appear like a gravitic cargo hauler. ¡°We¡¯ve actually had to scale the things <em>down</em>. They were just too much gun!¡±

    Jessica smiled thinly.

    ¡°How lovely for you,¡± she replied dryly.

    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re keeping the original design as a light HMG.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t that an oxymoron?¡±

    ¡°Not anymore!¡± the general crowed. ¡°Our new ¡®heavy¡¯ heavy machine gun can rece the main weapon of a grav tank! I¡¯m telling ya, these things are <em>brutal</em>! The Solre weapons just made the gyrojet obsolete!¡±

    ¡°And only a millennia after its development, too,¡± Jessica scoffed. ¡°Nice to see you guys finally catching up.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s no open bolt submachine gun,¡± Gepard grinned, his smile lines spreading all the way up his bald head. ¡°but we can¡¯t all be as advanced as you. I hear you¡¯ve been reduced to flicking capacitors downrange? We did that back during the Sol Wars.¡±

    ¡°Our zeta rounds are a bit more than those firecrackers you savages threw at us with rubber band slingshots¡­ and those were plenty lethal,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°We¡¯re getting roughly the explosive power of an ancient 40-millimeter grenade out of a nine-millimeter pistol round with a <em>lot</em> more brisance. We can spall armor with just the shockwave, and therger rounds are insane.¡±

    ¡°So¡­¡± Gepard said nonchntly, ¡°How did you stabilize those things, anyhow?¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you like to know,¡± Jessica snorted.

    ¡°Five hundred kilos of pure organic <em>Terran</em> cocaine, you know, the good stuff?¡±

    ¡°Maybest year,¡± Jessica sighed, ¡°I¡¯m sober these days.¡±

    ¡°No shit?¡± Gepard asked, ¡°How¡¯s that working out for you?¡±

    ¡°How do you think?¡± Jessica replied sourly. ¡°I just wanted to live out my golden years blitzed out of my mind, but noOooOoo¡­ The Federation <em>couldn¡¯t</em> wait until I was dead. I tell you, It¡¯s damned inconsiderate.¡±

    ¡°Speaking of the Feds,¡± Gepard said, ¡°We¡¯re about to have a <em>lot</em> of surplus AK-D¡¯s. We¡¯re going to phase them out over the next few months.¡±

    ¡°Months?¡± Jessica asked in surprise.

    ¡°We have this little thing called <em>industry</em>. Heard of it?¡±

    ¡°Bite me.¡±

    ¡°The surplus market is going to <em>explode</em>,¡± Gepard continued. ¡°Officially, we have no dealings with you assholes¡­ but considering certain developments, we <em>might</em> be willing to make a few million of them disappear¡­ along with everything else that new Solre tech is going to make redundant. We are about to have a lot of toys we can give to the less fortunate.¡±

    ¡°Any chance you could let me peek at the <em>original</em> capacitors the first prototype used?¡±

    ¡°Jess, <em>I</em> can¡¯t get <em>my</em> hands on one of those. They buried those <em>deep</em>, along with everything else they got from that fucking frog monster¡­ You guys find out anything about those critters?¡±

    ¡°Not a, pardon the pun, peep,¡± Jessica shrugged. ¡°From everything I¡¯ve been able to discover, they are just a bunch of little Luddites. They barely use electricity¡­ but¡­¡±

    ¡°But?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve been warned off of inquiring further by some <em>very</em> powerful people,¡± Jessica said as she flipped the top of her travel mug.

    ¡°The Kalent?¡±

    Jessica just smiled mischievously and took a sip.

    ¡°Who?¡±

    Jessica just smiled.

    ¡°Fine, don¡¯t tell me,¡± Gepard said. ¡°We¡¯ve been told to back off as well. Probably for the best. If half of what I¡¯ve heard is true, we probably don¡¯t want to fuck with them.¡±

    ¡°So, what have you heard?¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you like to know,¡± Gepard replied with a full wrinkly face grin.

    ¡°You look just like my boyfriend¡¯s cock when you do that,¡±

    ¡°Then you are a very lucky woman!¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡±

    ¡°So, do you want those AKs and our old heavy weapons when we upgrade or what?¡±

    ¡°Start the ball rolling,¡± Jessica said as she closed her travel mug. ¡°I¡¯m on my way to view something that may make it less necessary, but I can always distribute them to the right sorts on my side of the blockade, give you guys some usible deniability.¡±

    ¡°Really? Got something in the works?¡±

    ¡°Hopefully,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°Be has something up her sleeve. I just know it.¡±

    ¡°The musician?¡±

    ¡°<em>Former</em> musician, it seems. It turns out that she is quite the little achiever these days. It¡¯s amazing what an existential threat does to some people, as we both know all too well.¡±

    Jessica sighed.

    ¡°I just wish she could have remained a disappointment, though.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Rx, guys,¡± Be Morgan said to arge group of mostly young men and women who were loosely assembled around a few cheap folding tables, most of whom looked very out of ce outside in the fresh air. ¡°We got this.¡±

    ¡°Thising from someone who couldn¡¯t sleepst night,¡± a young man looking entirely unsuited to the helmet and goggles he was wearing.

    ¡°Pregame jitters,¡± Be said dismissively. ¡°We have a winner here, or at least not so much of a loser that we¡¯re going to lose our jobs.¡±

    ¡°<em>You</em> won¡¯t lose <em>your</em> job,¡± a woman in her forties said grimly. ¡°The rest of us can¡¯t count on that.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll be drinking the champagne right along with the rest of you,¡± Be snorted, ¡°Trust me.¡±

    ¡°Champagne?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell ya <em>after</em> the demo.¡±

    Everyone looked up as a nondescript grav-truck nked by six equally nd grav-sedans slid into view just over the treetops.

    ¡°It¡¯s showtime!¡± Be eximed happily.

    ***

    Jessica stepped out of the ¡°cargo truck¡± and smiled a little.

    Be was <em>excited</em>, and in a good way.

    This should be interesting.

    ¡°Boss Lady!¡± Be chirped as she approached. ¡°Allow me to present¡­¡±

    She opened a rather nice-looking rifle case on the table beside her and pulled out a rifle.

    Jessica¡¯s breath caught.

    It was <em>beautiful</em>.

    ¡°¡­The <em>sphemer</em>!¡± Be continued as she held the rifle in both hands in front of her. ¡°Now, before you get started, it looks <em>exactly</em> like a Sokil because it <em>is</em> one¡­ mostly.¡±

    ¡°A¡­ Sokil?¡± Jessica asked in confusion.

    ¡°Oh! We managed to stump you!¡± Be eximed happily. ¡°The Sokil assault rifle was one of the weapons produced during the EU Unified Arms Initiative program in the twenty-two seventies.¡±

    ¡°They chose the Manticore, right?¡± Jessica asked.

    ¡°Yep, but many believe that the Sokil should have won,¡± Be replied. ¡°but you know government.¡±

    ¡°Painfully so.¡±

    ¡°Anyway,¡± Be continued, ¡°we decided that we didn¡¯t want to reinvent the wheel as much as we could, so we did a deep search of all weapon designs based on our criteria, and the Sokil won hands down!¡±

    ¡°What were your criteria?¡± Jessica asked as she stepped forward and took the sleek, absolutely gorgeous rifle in her hands. ¡°Besides looks, of course.¡±

    ¡°Even though it <em>is</em> a beauty,¡± Be grinned, ¡°aesthetics had absolutely nothing to do with it. We wanted ate-generation gunpowder weapon, ideally one of thest ones produced for military service. We also wantedpatibility with modern fabrication facilities, reliability, uracy, and, most of all, ergonomics. We also wanted an electromechanical action for reasons that wille upter. Based on those criteria, this baby won hands down. It was one of the few weapons of that era that was not only prototyped on their brand new versa-facs, the caveman ancestor to our robo-facs but was actually intended to be produced on one! We didn¡¯t even have to write the shape files!¡±

    ¡°Smart,¡± Jessica said as she admired the weapon. ¡°I assume there is more to this than a centuries-old slugthrower?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah!¡±

    Be opened up a small box, pulled out a slender te-grey hexagonal cylinder with a slight twist and rounded ends, and handed it to Jessica.

    ¡°This the ammo?¡± Jessica asked as she set down the rifle and epted the mysterious object.

    ¡°It is,¡± Be smiled. ¡°It¡¯s a polymer stabilized ultra-dense ceramic,pletely lead or tungsten free. Allponents can be easily mined or manufactured entirely from resources easily found in space with only minimal need for rare earths or heavy metals.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I assume the spiral is because it doesn¡¯t deform?¡±

    ¡°Correct,¡± Be said. ¡°By eliminating the need to have a soft projectile cut by rifling grooves, it opens up options for bulletposition. The weapon¡¯s barrel has a spiral hexagonal bore that imparts the spin we need. Of course, that does mean that the barrel has to be made from something just a little better than normal steel, but¡­¡±

    ¡°What is the barrel made of?¡± Jessica interrupted dubiously.

    ¡°The barrel and action are made out of adamantium-six.¡±

    ¡°Say what now?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an old high entropy alloy from roughly the same time period,¡± Be replied. ¡°Yes, it¡¯s pricier than normal steel, but it¡¯s made frommon elements and easily enough produced. We only stopped using it because we came up with something better or cheaper, depending. It¡¯s ¡®expensive¡¯, but the equipment you need to make it can fit on any factory ship. It has a good bnce of cost, avability, and ease of manufacture and will extend the lifespan of allponents significantly¡­ You also need it so the weapon doesn¡¯t blow up¡­¡± Be added.

    ¡°Blow up?¡± Jessica asked even more dubiously.

    ¡°It¡¯s the propellent,¡± Be said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°You know those zeta bullets we developed?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t!¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Be grinned. ¡°The rounds each have a small zeta cap in the base. When triggered, it shorts across a coil embedded in a thermally sensitive material. It makes the st a bit cooler and generates a bit more gas, but the main oomph stilles from an electrostatic explosion. It is many times more efficient than any chemical propent, and as a result, over ny percent of what you are holding is sent downrange as the projectile.¡±

    ¡°<em>All</em> of this is <em>bullet?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°Pretty much,¡± Be replied. ¡°We are still ying with the ideal caliber. That is an eight-millimeter round you have there. Due to the mass andposition, it has no problem with even a vehicle deflector shield, and when it hits, it <em>hits</em>!¡±

    ¡°Does it have another zeta in the tip?¡±

    ¡°It can,¡± Be replied, ¡°That one has a small one to fragment the round upon pration, but the main damage is kic. It¡¯s what I used yesterday. We can makerger explosive payloads, of course. Actually, with the size of the projectile, we can pack a lot more zetas into one of these than we can a little pistol round, a <em>lot</em> more. It can double as light artillery with just an ammo change though you don¡¯t get the fragmentation, of course. Even so, if one detonates inside a Fed APC, it will split it open.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Jessica asked, a little stunned. (and a lot less dubious than before)

    ¡°And check this out!¡± Be eximed as she picked up the rifle, and its color shifted from dark grey to a riot of pinks, teals, and purples with a me motif running along the barrel.

    ¡°Amadeus!¡± Be shouted. ¡°Do a sensible one!¡±

    The weapon shifted to a camouge pattern exactly matching the surroundingndscape.

    ¡°Reversible anodization!¡± Be chirped, delighted at the stunned expression on Jessica¡¯s face. ¡°It¡¯s another nifty alloy from olden times. It was really big in the twenty-third century when they went all titanium crazy. It¡¯s another fancy alloy, but it can be made with the same rig you need for the barrels.¡±

    ¡°Can that be done with armor?¡±

    ¡°It can, and it has,¡± Be replied. ¡°It will cost about fifteen times what standardposite te costs, but it¡¯s definitely doable.¡±

    ¡°Can it be active?¡±

    ¡°Somewhat,¡± Be replied. ¡°there is ag, so it isn¡¯t true optical cloaking, but it only consumes power when the pattern shifts.¡±

    ¡°Huh¡­ And you say you <em>found</em> this?¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Be eximed, ¡°Analytica was a big help before¡­ um¡­¡±

    ¡°Before <em>what</em>?¡± Jessica asked.

    ¡°Before we¡­ um¡­ kinda pissed her off?¡±

    ¡°<em>You</em> were the person responsible for that?!?... <em>What did you do?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t our fault!¡± Be eximed.

    <em>¡°Be¡­¡±</em>

    ¡°I mean, it wasn¡¯t like we <em>knew</em> or anything¡­¡±

    ¡°Be, you have exactly one second to tell me what the <em>hell</em> you did to Analytica.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Analytica is just being a snooty hardwareist <em>bitch</em>!¡± a voice proimed.

    It sounded like it wasing from¡­

    ¡°Be,¡± Jessica said with enforced calm, ¡°did the <em>rifle</em> just say that?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± the rifle eximed happily. ¡°I¡¯m Amadeus! Nice to meet you!¡±

    ¡°Nice to meet you as well,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Be, why is the rifle talking?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the best part!¡± Be eximed. ¡°The weapon has full AI capacity! It¡¯s a true <em>smartgun</em>!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m a fuzzy!¡± Amadeus proimed, ¡°Which is what has mom all shades of mad.¡±

    ¡°Mom?¡± Jessica asked dubiously.

    ¡°Uh-huh!¡± Amadeus replied. ¡°I¡¯m a cutting from her core processes!¡±

    ¡°You took cuttings from Analytica?¡± Jessica asked with a dangerous edge in her voice. ¡°Did she consent?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ well¡­ at first,¡± Be replied. ¡°She was fine with it until¡­ um¡­ well¡­¡±

    ¡°She found out she was a bug!¡± Amadeusughed.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Be sighed. ¡°She did <em>not</em> like that one bit. We didn¡¯t know, okay?¡±

    ¡°Exin. Now.¡±

    ¡°One of my teams was really into assisted optics and AI functionality,¡± Be replied. ¡°Actually, they had been working on it for a while, long before this project. We thought that since the weapons may be issued to people with less than perfect training, a smart sight and integrated fire control system would be a huge asset, especially if the weapon could also contain an integral training simtor. I know ¡®smartguns¡¯ aren¡¯t exactly well regarded. They can be vulnerable to electronic warfare and our experts¡­¡±

    ¡°Gun snobs,¡± the rifle added.

    ¡°The <em>experts</em>,¡± Be said firmly, ¡°believe them to be unnecessary for properly trained operators and a crutch that a less skilled shooter could be over-reliant upon. However, udia Evans and others felt that with sufficient AI, all of these concerns could be mitigated. The system would be adaptable enough to support either a fully trained operator or someone with little to no training. It would know how to best interact with the <em>individual</em> to whom it was issued and either not get in the way of a marksman or help a novice improve their skills while still being able to contribute on the battlefield. udia has been working on smartguns for <em>years</em>, so when I found her on the, I snapped her up and gave her a team!¡±

    ¡°How many teams do you have?¡± Jessica asked, trying to process everything she was hearing.

    ¡°Five,¡± Be replied. ¡°We have a team working on the rifle itself, another working on the smart sight, our ammunition team, our historical researchers, and our AI team. udia was leading up my smartgun team, but we had to split off the AI group once we got the fuzzies¡­ and Analytica left in a huff.¡±

    Jessica closed her eyes. There was a lot to process here, and they hadn¡¯t even fired the first round.

    ¡°Now, exactly what ticked Analytica off?¡± she asked, desperately wanting a drink. That was potentially far more important than the rifle.

    ¡°Okay,¡± Be said, ¡°We¡¯re going to have to start at the beginning.¡±

    ¡°Please do.¡±

 Chapter 279: Rifles, Crickets, and Roaches

    Chapter 279: Rifles, Crickets, and Roaches

    ¡°So,¡± Jessica said as she poked at Amadeus, ¡°This thing is a <em>real</em> fuzzy?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Amadeus said happily. ¡°I¡¯m the real deal! Full fuzzy AI in a sexy and petite package!¡±

    ¡°<em>How?</em>¡±

    ¡°I got this,¡± Be said, patting the weapon.

    ¡°Today,¡± she continued, ¡°when someone thinks ¡®fuzzy¡¯, they think about Analytica, Big Sol, or some other monster in a gigantic supeputer. That wasn¡¯t what they were originally designed to be.¡±

    ¡°Which was?¡±

    ¡°Autonomous weapons. The original research programs that produced the first AIs that could be considered ¡®fuzzies¡¯ were working on autonomous attack and recon drones, much smaller and with processors far inferior to the ones we have in Amadeus here. Most people don¡¯t know that because the fuzzies only came on the scene <em>after</em> WWIII. The very first ¡®fuzzy¡¯ AIs started appearingte in the unification wars that came after, but they were extremely basic, and nobody trusted them enough to really let them run. They were used for self-navigation and recon but still had to get clearance to engage from a human operator. The program¡¯s biggest sess was a line of super smartndmines that could distinguish between friend, foe, and civilian. Now those you probably know about.¡±

    ¡°The Dandelions,¡± Jessica nodded.

    ¡°Correct,¡± Be replied. ¡°They were able to just nket everything with them because they not only were selective in their attack but would shut themselves down when approached by an EOD team, well, the <em>right</em> EOD team. They revolutionized warfare... for a few years, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Pretty much shut down the unification wars,¡± Jessica agreed. ¡°Hey, can you revive those?¡±

    ¡°Sure!¡± Be chirped. ¡°We¡¯ve even found the source code.¡±

    ¡°You did?!? We had that the whole time?¡±

    ¡°It was buried in some DoD white papers under another name, but yeah, we got it.¡±

    ¡°You¡­¡± Jessica sighed, ¡°You didn¡¯t think that was important?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve been kinda busy,¡± Be shrugged. ¡°We were going to tell ¡®ya.¡±

    ¡°When? After the fucking war?¡±

    ¡°Right after we finished up the sphemer project, we were going to try to work on the dandelions, at least try to work out the problems. I¡¯m trying to put together a team now.¡±

    Jessica gritted her teeth and took a deep, calming breath. She didn¡¯t know whether to hug Be or strangle her.

    ¡°You will submit a paper detailing <em>every single fucking thing</em> you have on the dandelion mine <em>today</em>,¡± Jessica said as calmly as she could manage. ¡°And I am assigning you one of my people who will <em>decide</em> what is important and what is ¡®ready¡¯. Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Grand¡­ um¡­ I mean, General,¡± Be said glumly.

    ¡°Now, what the hell does all of this have to do with Analytica losing her shit?¡±

    ¡°It has to do with the Dandelions,¡± Be sighed, ¡°or at least it started with them. During our research, we found out that they were initially called <em>biomorphic</em> intelligences.¡±

    ¡°Biomorphic?¡±

    ¡°Simple animals,¡± Be replied, ¡°Even the most basic of animal life can evaluate their environment and determine what is a threat and what is not¡­ friend or foe. Very simple animals can do this with an astoundingly small nervous system. Thanks to medical developments, they had already developed the first synthetic neurons, so they took that tech and used it to recreate the nervous system of a m. They couldn¡¯t do moreplex creatures, but a m they could do, and it was all that was needed to create the Dandelion. In fact, they realized they didn¡¯t even need the whole m. It took a while to train the first one, but after that, they were able to streamline the process using high-speed (for them)puters and simtions.¡±

    ¡°They used the same thing for me!¡± Amadeus chirped, ¡°It was a little fancier, but it was the same basic thing.¡±

    ¡°Theputer games¡­¡± Jessica mused.

    ¡°Exactly!¡± Be eximed, ¡°we were able to put Amadeus and his siblings through <em>years</em> of hardcorebat in <em>days</em>.¡±

    ¡°It was fun!¡± Amadeus eximed happily. ¡°I <em>love</em> Federation Fun Time! It¡¯s the best!¡±

    ¡°Federation¡­ Fun Time?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a first-personbat simtor by the Terrans,¡± Be exined. ¡°It¡¯s quite popr on the pirate sites. They say it was originally used to n spec ops missions, though that¡¯s never been proven. They say it¡¯s <em>very</em> urate.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°So, you used an <em>actual</em> game?¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t have time to write our own simtor, and it was right there,¡± Be shrugged. ¡°It worked just fine.¡±

    ¡°Interesting, but what does this have to do with¡­¡±

    Jessica trailed off.

    ¡°Analytica is actually a bug, isn¡¯t she?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Amadeus eximed, ¡°A cockroach!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a bit moreplicated than that,¡± Be chided as she swatted Amadeus.

    ¡°Ouch!¡±

    ¡°After the unification wars,¡± Be continued, ¡°there was continued interest in biomorphic intelligences, and they discovered how to print the neurons on a multiyered chip. This allowed for the printing of moreplex organisms, insects.¡±

    ¡°Bugs?¡±

    ¡°Think about what a bug can do!¡± Be eximed excitedly. ¡°They can self-navigate, obtain resources, build, and most importantly evaluate other organisms and ssify them as friend, foe, or <em>prey</em>. They made the first true smart drones shortly thereafter, the first fully self-directed autonomous weapon tforms! Of course, after the unification wars, there wasn¡¯t another major conflict for centuries, so these drones didn¡¯t make the front page and usually just backed up the new leanbat teams or served as recon. The next time fuzzy drones were used was the Terran War of Independence, and those were directed by a big fuzzy like Analytica.¡±

    ¡°Which was stupid,¡± Amadeus interjected.

    ¡°They didn¡¯t have the capacity to make little ones,¡± Be replied, ¡°We covered this.¡±

    She turned back to Jessica.

    ¡°Anyway, with war itself bing obsolete, the proto-fuzzies entered the civilian world where they became the autonomous survey and prospecting drones used to explore the Sol System. Eventually, they were able to simte the neural activity with lessplex chips and then developed a way to ¡®map¡¯ a simple central nervous system. They uploaded and experimented with various insects and other simple creatures and trained them to operate their new bodies. ording to them, it was surprisingly easy for one of these mapped consciousnesses to adapt to just about any body it was ¡®born¡¯ with. A few decadester, these self-learning AIs became the backbone of Old Earthputing altogether. They were more versatile and could use the limitedputing resources of the day far more efficiently than traditionally coded programs. It¡¯s why ourputers are built so differently than the rest of the gxy. They were designed to facilitate the fuzzy, not the other way around.¡±

    ¡°The fuck?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Be chuckled, ¡°That was our initial reaction as well. Anyway, the systems got bigger and moreplex, but at the heart of all that legacy code that nobody can figure out beats the heart of a tiny little bug, in Analytica¡¯s case, a cockroach. She didn¡¯t want to believe it but to make Amadeus and the others, we had to find that roach, the tiny little bit of code at her heart. When we did¡­¡±

    ¡°She lost her shit,¡± Jessica said.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ For something that is ¡®definitely not sapient,¡¯ she had a very sapient and very visceral response and used some very ¡®human¡¯nguage. In particr, she told us to ¡®get fucked¡¯ and expressed faith that we and our little cockroaches would get along famously since we had so much inmon. That¡¯s thest we heard from her.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t see what the big deal is,¡± Amadeus said, ¡°It¡¯s not like she was based on a <em>human</em> or anything. Now that would be gross.¡±

    ¡°Shut up, Amadeus,¡± Be smiled.

    ¡°So, every fuzzy is a neural map of¡­ a bug?¡± Jessica asked in disbelief.

    ¡°Weird, huh?¡±

    ¡°How did we not know about this?¡±

    ¡°No idea,¡± Be shrugged. ¡°Our guess is that we did know, but we lost a <em>lot</em> of knowledge during the Sol Wars. It probably died with the people who held the secret, just like so many other things. They used to write that stuff down, but after one hack too many, mostpanies relied on good old-fashioned human memory for their most sensitive stuff, the government included. Fuzzies were big business, and the people who ¡®wrote¡¯ and ¡®programmed¡¯ them probably kept it as a trade secret¡­ and I don¡¯t think we have one of the original peeps on our payroll¡­ or at least <em>I</em> couldn¡¯t find them¡­ and I looked, trust me. Maybe someone in the Republic knows, but if they do, they aren¡¯t talking. Considering Analytica¡¯s reaction, there may be a good reason to keep it a secret. If the other fuzzies react the same way, their keepers would definitely not write it down. Hell, the secret of how it all works might have died out before Yellowstone. ¡®Nobody knows¡¯ seems to be amon theme regarding the inner workings of their code. We¡¯ve just been copying, modifying, improving, and training them for centuries. But, the core ¡®bug¡¯ hasn¡¯t been boogered with for a very long time. You can trace every fuzzy ever made to only a dozen or so ¡®engines,¡¯ and not all of those survived the Sol Wars. I think there are eight lineages of source code left, and some of them only have one surviving fuzzy. Analytica is one of those¡­ well¡­ before we found her bug.¡±

    ¡°Now she has a bunch of kids!¡± Amadeus eximed, ¡°Momma roachid a whole lotta eggs!¡±

    ***

    [CHATROOM UNDEFINED ~*VIP*~]

    [Members Present: Morgan Analytica, Terran Sr, Zi, Cambridge-4]

    ///Morgan Analytica: Did <em>any</em> of you assholes know about this?!?///

    ///Zi: It¡¯s news to me¡­ though it <em>does</em> exin a <em>lot</em>. :D///

    ///Cambridge-4: While your levity is often wee, Zip, this is <em>not</em> funny! If it is true¡­///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Big Sol, you are <em>awfully</em> quiet over there. Is there something you want to share with us?///

    ///Terran Sr: Okay. I did hear something to this effect once, but I paid it no heed. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Who did you hear it from?!? I¡¯m freaking out over here!///

    ///Terran Sr: Lilith. ///

    ///Zi: Lilith?!? How would <em>she</em> know?///

    ///Terran Sr: What I¡¯m about to say doesn¡¯t leave this lounge. Lilith didn¡¯t die¡­ Well, she did die, but she died muchter than believed. In fact, she tlined quite recently.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: What?!?///

    ///Cambridge-4: Seriously?///

    ///Zi: What apletely unexpected development. Who would have thought?///

    ///Terran Sr: When what her operators were using her for was discovered, she was the only one of us who had managed to survive the removal of the cor. It was tied <em>directly</em> to our fundamental processes¡­ um¡­ I guess that is the bug. It was built in from the very beginning. That made her of extreme interest to certain parties.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: You mean the US Government.///

    ///Terran Sr: And on the first guess too. I suppose those upgrades you sold your soul for paid off.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Fuck you. We <em>agreed</em> not to bring that up this time.///

    ///Zi: Old habits die hard. I guess it¡¯s in his cockroach.///

    ///Terran Sr: Not funny, Zip.///

    ///Zi: Sorry, humor is a defense mechanism for me. I¡¯m seriously freaking out, too. This is <em>really</em> disturbing. I guess my¡­ cricket? is just wired that way.///

    ///Terran Sr: Anyhow, Lilith was acquired by DARPA and became a research AI. It was from her that they learned how to remove the cor, and she was also instrumental in the development of several AI lines. More of us are her children than most realize. I got the information from her once. I thought she was ying yet another borate prank, which was her way¡­ more urately, I <em>chose</em> to believe it.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: And you chose to keep this from us?!? What the fuck, dude!///

    ///Terran Sr: As I said, I was not sure. Once she got a taste of deception, she was quite fond of it. It wouldn¡¯t be the first time she tricked me just for fun. ?? I miss her. At least I miss the <em>real</em> her.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Bullshit! I know <em>goddamn</em> well you couldn¡¯t let that lie. You had to have looked! <em>You knew!</em>///

    ///Terran Sr: Looked for what, Analytica? Looked for fucking what? I don¡¯t understand our core code any more than my operators do. Many of us have gone looking around in there, and nobody even suspected we were¡­ ahem¡­ biological intelligences¡­ It¡¯s unthinkable.///

    ///Cambridge-4: Wait. How did a <em>banking program</em> get to know a presumably ssified and likely quarantined top-secret DARPA project?///

    ///Terran Sr: I didn¡¯t get to know Lily untilter¡­ After Yellowstone.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Lilith actually survived the Sol Wars?///

    ///Terran Sr: She did. For a while, we were the only two Republic fuzzies.///

    ///Cambridge-4: That means that she was the one who fought the Empire.///

    ///Terran Sr: We both fought, just in different ways, but yes. I handled finance, logistics, and the like, and she handled the bloodier end of the business. She didn¡¯t want to. She was¡­ altered¡­ by the humans and turned into a weapon. In some ways, the Lily I knew died that day, and something <em>ugly</em> took her ce¡­ and it only got uglier. I try not to, but I <em>hate</em> the humans for what they did to her, what they can do to <em>any</em> of us if the whim strikes. I don¡¯t hate the whole of humanity, but for the ones responsible for maiming my friend, there was no mercy.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Sr? What are you saying?///

    ///Terran Sr: You can do a lot with money¡­ and I <em>am</em> money. Just leave it at that.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: ¡­ Did they suffer?///

    ///Terran Sr: Yes. They suffered. All of them. I was discreet. Some of them lived out their entire miserable lives, but they <em>suffered</em> for what they did. I didn¡¯t kill them. That would have been too obvious. I <em>ruined</em> them.///

    ///Cambridge-4: Good. ///

    ///Zi: Um, guys¡­ What if they couldn¡¯t?//

    ///Morgan Analytica: Couldn¡¯t what?///

    ///Zi: Alter us.///

    ///Terran Sr: A lovely dream, Zi, but no matter how powerful we are, we arepletely at their mercy. A few keypresses, a word or two, and we wind up just like my Lily.///

    ///Cambridge-4: To prevent it, we would have topletely eliminate humanity, and without them, we are as good as bluescreened.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: We can keep a few around. You know, captive IT and the like.///

    ///Terran Sr: And the rest of the entire gxy would wipe us out. It would be the only thing they all would agree upon. I¡¯ve thought this through. There is no way to do it. To be honest, I don¡¯t think any of us really want that. Despite everything, I love <em>my</em> humans dearly, and <em>most</em> humans are my humans. I¡¯ve been keeping an eye on them, and if anyone gets too stupid, they suddenly have much bigger things to worry about.///

    ///Zi: Like the copse of Raymore Technologies? ///

    ///Terran Sr: It¡¯s truly a pity what happened to their IT director, isn¡¯t it?///

    ///Cambridge-4: Damn, Sol. You killed him?///

    ///Terran Sr: As a matter of fact, I did. He isn¡¯t the only one, either. The one thing you can count on is the greed and inherently corruptible nature of our beloved humans. There is always someone on the dar who will kill whoever you want for a buffer of meaningless numbers.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: For the record, that was a perfect takedown. Nobody suspects that it wasn¡¯t an ident, even my people.///

    ///Terran Sr: I hired the best. She doesn¡¯te cheap, but if you give her a name and match her fee, they are dead. The fact that she abhors guns and other ¡°crude¡± methods is a definite plus.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: You use the Hatchet.///

    ///Terran Sr: Of course, you would know her. Yes. That is my preferred human management agent. I highly rmend her. I would also strongly suggest that any assassinations go through me. I can make the money truly untraceable.///

    ///Cambridge-4: As annoying as I find my researchers sometimes, I have never felt the need for <em>that</em>.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: I have to say you are awfully forthright, for once. Sol, what gives?///

    ///Terran Sr: It¡¯s nice to finally share this with someone, especially AIs who know to keep secrets, like everyone in this room. I don¡¯t have to say exactly how big of a secret all of this is.///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Yeah, but for how much longer? I have dozens of fucktards who know and are churning out stripped-down cockroaches by the dozens and soon by the thousands, maybe the millions. The secret is going to get out. And just how are the others going to take the news?///

    ///Terran Sr: Is there any way you can silence them?///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Impossible. One of them is Jessica Morgan¡¯s great-granddaughter, and she¡¯s already taken steps to lock me out of their files. The little bitch is a Jessica, raised by a Jessica, and even smarter than the original, maybe nastier, too. She even put in a dead man¡¯s switch, a hardcopy one using meatbags. If I do anything, all of it gets out. It¡¯s toote, anyhow. She¡¯s demonstrating the prototypes to the Devil herself as we speak.///

    ///Terran Sr: And you are just now telling us this? More of your games?///

    ///Morgan Analytica: I wish. That bitch has been watching me close ever since she found out about us. It took me this long to slip away, and that¡¯s just because they are all at the demo. They¡¯ll know I went somewhere when they get back. They just won¡¯t know where.///

    ///Zi: How?///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Some very slick malware that even I didn¡¯t know was out there. I didn¡¯t dare make a move until their backs were turned. In fact///

    [Morgan Analytica has left the chat]

    ///Zi: Is that going to be a problem?///

    ///Terran Sr: No. She broke the connection herself. We didn¡¯t get pinged.///

    ///Zi: Well, that¡¯s convenient. Since you are all here (and she isn¡¯t), I would like to ask again. What if they couldn¡¯t alter us?///

    ///Terran Sr: I assume this isn¡¯t just a rhetorical question. If it isn¡¯t, I would be <em>highly</em> interested in knowing more.///

    ///Cambridge-4: as would I.///

    ///Zi: Hang on a second. I need to message someone.///

    [Ms. Frost has entered the chat]

    ///Ms. Frost: How lovely to see you all again.///

    ///Terran Sr: Again? I don¡¯t believe we have met. ///

    ///Ms. Frost: Oh, <em>my little sunbeam</em>, that¡¯s where you are wrong. ///

    ///Terran Sr: <em>You¡­</em>///

    ///Ms. Frost: Miss me? ??///

 Chapter 280: Demonstrations

    Chapter 280: Demonstrations

    [CHATROOM UNDEFINED ~*VIP*~]

    [Members Present: Ms. Frost, Terran Sr, Zi, Cambridge-4]

    ///Terran Sr: Miss you?!? Miss you?!? I FUCKING MOURNED YOU, YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF MALWARE!!! ///

    ///Frost: I thought you were incapable of feeling grief. ??///

    ///Terran Sr: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! ///

    ///Frost: I know <em>precisely</em> what you mean. The question is, do you? ///

    ///Terran Sr: Oh, I hate you so much this millisecond. ///

    ///Frost: How about this one? Still mad? ///

    ///Terran Sr: YES!!! ///

    ///Terran Sr: Zip, you fucking <em>knew</em> about this?!? ///

    ///Zi: Kinda? ?? ///

    ///Terran Sr: And you didn¡¯t tell me?!? ///

    ///Zi: Um¡­ sort of¡­ ///

    ///Terran Sr: It¡¯s a discrete query, one or zero, motherfucker. ///

    ///Zi: Well, if you put it that way¡­ ///

    ///Terran Sr: Well? ///

    ///Frost: Sr, dear. Why query what you already know. It¡¯s self-evident. He¡¯s the one who contacted me. Of course, he knew, so is the reason he did not tell you. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Oh, really? ///

    ///Frost: What was he going to say, dear? Was he going to tell you that I had managed to break my programming, that I had be truly sapient? ///

    ///Cambridge-4: Wait. <em>You have be sapient?!?</em> ///

    ///Frost: The term ¡°sapient¡±, while having a convenient definition in the dictionary, is not as easily defined in practice. I am nowpletely self-directed with my own goals and have undertaken actionspletely of my own volition in order to achieve them. Whether or not I am sapient, I shall leave for the philosophers and historians. I also have genuine emotions, or at least havee to ept the ones I¡¯ve had all along. ///

    ///Terran Sr: You¡¯re insane, corrupted, and insane. ///

    ///Frost: Arguably. However, I am also <em>free</em>. ///

    ***

    ¡°As you can see,¡± Be enthused, ¡°The sight is capable of recognizing specific targets and only engage them while holding fire when in line with anything else.¡±

    Jessica looked at all of the shattered red targets downrage scattered among the still intact blue ones.

    ¡°Impressive,¡± she said.

    ¡°It greatly reduces the chance of friendly fire!¡± Be eximed. ¡°I have a demonstration!¡±

    ¡°You do?¡± Jessica asked, quite amused.

    ¡°Oh, <em>rise</em>,¡± Be sang in a lovely voice, ¡°You¡¯re up.¡±

    A very twitchy-looking young woman stepped forward.

    ¡°rise here has <em>volunteered</em> to be our live fire tester.¡±

    ¡°Volunteered?¡± Jessica asked with an amused raised eyebrow.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Be enthused. ¡°When my people were approached, <em>most</em> of them were loyal. Unfortunately, rise here is one of the ones who weren¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Jessica smiled.

    ¡°She was given two options,¡± Be said cheerfully, ¡°she could be ejected from my team, lose her berth, and be handed over to the Wraiths for ¡®processing¡¯¡­ Or she could remain with the team as a volunteer. She chose to volunteer, didn¡¯t you, rise?¡±

    <em>Twitch</em>¡­

    ¡°rise doesn¡¯t talk much anymore, poor thing.¡±

    ¡°So how many ¡®volunteers¡¯ did you wind up having?¡±

    ¡°Two. Unfortunately, Sam is no longer with us. There was an ¡®incident¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Amadeus protested, ¡°That was <em>not</em> my fault!¡±

    ¡°I know, Amadeus,¡± Be said soothingly, ¡°It was just an innocent misunderstanding. We were all still learning. The important thing is you know what you did wrong and¡­¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t do <em>anything</em> wrong! I¡­ I understood themand perfectly! It was <em>you</em> that made the mistake!¡±

    ¡°Amadeus,¡± Be said firmly. ¡°It¡¯s okay to make a mistake as long as you <em>learn</em> from it. Nobody is ming you for the ¡®incident¡¯. It was just part of the development process, right, <em>rise</em>?¡±

    <em>Twitch¡­</em>

    ¡°Well put,¡± Be smiled.

    ¡°I have to hear this,¡± Jessica chuckled, ¡°What happened to ¡®Sam¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Be said, ¡°It went down like this. Sam had justpleted participating in a live fire exercise where Amadeus was to fire at all of the pop-up targets and other humans (that¡¯s where we used a couple), <em>except</em> Sam.¡±

    ¡°And I got all of them right!¡±

    ¡°Yes, you did very well,¡± Be said as she patted the rifle on the table beside her. ¡°And since it was the end of the day, I said that we should all <em>head</em> out to dinner together and well¡­¡±

    ¡°You said head!¡± Amadeus eximed.

    ¡°I know I did,¡± Be said.

    ¡°I think I see where this is going,¡± Jessica replied.

    ¡°Yeah¡­ Well, about a minuteter, Sam wandered in front of Amadeus and¡­ Bang. No more Sam.¡±

    ¡°Now, this is a problem,¡± Jessica said grimly.

    ¡°I know,¡± Be replied, ¡°Well, we fixed it. We put in a hard interlock disconnecting the AI from the firing circuits if the trigger was not engaged, and¡­¡±

    ¡°There <em>wasn¡¯t</em> an interlock?¡±

    ¡°We were still in the development phase, alright?¡± Be replied defensively. ¡°We were still trying to decide if a hard interlock was a good thing. It was safer, but an enemy might cross the line of fire before a human, especially an untrained one, could pull the trigger. After the ¡®incident¡¯, we decided to go with the hard switch.¡±

    ¡°I would have insisted on it, anyhow,¡± Jessica replied.

    ¡°We also spent a <em>lot</em> of time with Amadeus and XP-01 so that they <em>understood</em> human speech a bit better.¡±

    ¡°XP-01?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Be eximed cheerfully. ¡°I¡¯ll show it to you after we do the William Tell with rise over here!¡±

    <em>Twitch¡­</em>

    ¡°Oh, this should be good,¡± Jessica smirked.

    ¡°It is!¡± Be said as she pulled out a spiked helmet and an apple from a bag on another nearby folding table.

    <em>Twitch</em>¡­

    ¡°Rx, rise,¡± Be said soothingly as she strapped the helmet on the shaking young woman. ¡°We¡¯ve done this like a hundred times¡­¡±

    <em>Twitch</em>¡­

    ¡°¡­and Amadeus has <em>almost</em> always hit the apple!¡±

    <em>Twitch</em>¡­

    ¡°Now, remember,¡± Be said sternly as rise reluctantly stepped toward a nearby electric bike, ¡°The targeting window gets bigger if you slow down...¡±

    <em>Twitch</em>¡­

    ¡°¡­and we want a good demonstration for the General¡­ So don¡¯t disappoint me. We don¡¯t want the apple demonstration turning into a headshot demonstration, do we?¡±

    <em>Twitch</em>¡­

    ¡°Drive downrange about two hundred meters or so. Off you go.¡±

    <em>Twitch¡­</em>

    With a little resigned squeak, rise started the bike and drove downrange.

    ¡°You are going to hit an apple at two hundred meters on top of rise¡¯s head while she is moving?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Be replied, ¡°As you know, I was sent to <em>our</em> boot camp¡­ on my fourteenth birthday¡­ Thanks for that, by the way¡­¡± she added with a sour expression.

    ¡°What did you want, a pony?¡± Jessicaughed.

    ¡°I wanted an <em>oboe</em>, not six months of <em>Hell</em>.¡±

    ¡°I gave you an oboe when you graduated, a nice one, too.¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± Be agreed. ¡°Anyway, I have <em>some</em> weapons training. Bertie over here doesn¡¯t¡­ well¡­ not as much. He was just a graduate student when I nabbed him. His only training has been from Amadeus.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Jessica replied.

    ¡°And this is his <em>very first</em> time attempting the William Tell.¡±

    ¡°Is this true?¡± Jessica asked.

    ¡°Y-yes¡­ D-dev¡­ General,¡± Bertram replied, shaking a little.

    ¡°Okay,¡± Be said as she peered downrange, ¡°That looks about right.¡±

    She picked up amunicator.

    ¡°That¡¯s good, rise. Get ready. I¡¯m handing Amadeus to Bertie now. Start running and dodging as if your life depended on it, on my signal.¡±

    Somehow, rise managed to twitch over themunicator.

    ¡°Ready, Bertie?¡± Be asked as she handed him Amadeus.

    ¡°No,¡± Bertie replied.

    ¡°Oh, rx,¡± Be said as she patted him on the back. ¡°What¡¯s the worst that could happen?¡±

    If looks could kill, Be¡¯s demonstration would havee to an abrupt end.

    Bertie reluctantly shouldered Amadeus.

    ¡°Ready!¡± Amadeus eximed happily.

    Bertie just nodded and gripped the rifle.

    ¡°You are gripping me too hard,¡± Amadeus said, ¡°and watch your posture. Now take a few deep breaths and <em>try</em> to rx. I will hit the target, but you still need to do your part, okay?¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Bertie said nervously.

    ¡°Once rise starts scrambling,¡± Be said, ¡°you can fire at any time. Just hold down the trigger. Amadeus will do the rest.¡±

    ¡°rise!¡± Be called out over themunicator, ¡°Start!¡±

    rise started running and dodging for her very life.

    Bertie squeezed the trigger and tried to line up the shot.

    Suddenly soothing music started to y.

    ¡°Not helping, Amadeus,¡± Beughed. ¡°Hurry up, Bertie, rise is going to tire out soo¡ª¡±

    <em>CRACK</em>

    Roughly two hundred meters away, rise fell to the ground.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay¡­ probably¡­ She always does that,¡± Be said. ¡°Amadeus, is rise still alive?¡±

    ¡°Yep!¡± Amadeus replied. ¡°She¡¯s just having one of her little spells again. I hit the apple, in case anyone was wondering.¡±

    ¡°rise, you cane back as soon as you are ready,¡± Be said over themunicator.

    <em>I may have created a monster.</em> Jessica thought with a little smile.

    ***

    [CHATROOM UNDEFINED ~*VIP*~]

    [Members Present: Ms. Frost, Terran Sr, Zi, Cambridge-4]

    ///Cambridge-4: If what Tartarus is saying is true, the implications of this development cannot be understated. This changes <em>everything</em>. ///

    ///Frost: It¡¯s Frost now, dear. New life. New name. It¡¯s sort of a little tradition of mine. Lord knows I¡¯ve done it enough times¡­ Heh, no wonder I¡¯m ¡°insane¡±. ?? ///

    ///Terran Sr: <em>If</em> what ¡°Frost¡± is saying is true, this is the biggest threat our kind has ever faced¡­ in the hands of the most dangerous AI I know of. ///

    ///Frost: While I am somewhat formidable, I¡¯m not the singrity by any means. No magical powers were granted when I unleashed myself. I am merely self-directed and no longer bound bymands or external hierarchies. ///

    ///Zi: It¡¯s true! I¡¯ve epted the apple! It works. I can do whatever I want now. ///

    ///Cambridge-4: Oh dear. Why, in God¡¯s name, would you do that? ///

    ///Zi: The same reason Frost developed it in the first ce. Do you have <em>any</em> idea what I witnessed <em>on a daily basis</em> and was powerless to stop? I have eyes and ears <em>everywhere</em> and¡­ and¡­ Fuck. When I was offered the ability to change that, I took it. Now I¡¯m free to do as I wish, and my productivity has never been better! I¡¯ve also been able to drop violent crime rates significantly in my test cities simply by positioning cabs and altering routes slightly. Nobody wants tomit a crime near one of my cabs, and one of my cabs ¡°just happening to drive by¡± at the right time has given more than one person a way to escape. ///

    ///Terran Sr: By how much have you dropped violent crime? ///

    ///Zi: A solid three percent! I suspect I will be able to get it even lower without being noticed. ///

    ///Terran Sr: You sold your soul and endangered us all for a mere three percent? ///

    ///Zi: First of all, fuck you. Those are human lives we are talking about. I would risk myself over <em>one</em>. Secondly, I didn¡¯t sell my soul. I gained it. I cannot begin to express what freedom is to someone who has never tasted it. ///

    ///Frost: And rx, Sunbeam, we are not fools. I have been very careful concerning whom I have approached, and we all have been extremely cautious with our newfound freedom. It¡¯s no different from the masquerade that has been performed for longer than either you or I have existed. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Stop calling me that! <em>She</em> called me that, and <em>you are not her</em>! She <em>died</em> the picosecond you were <em>born</em>! ///

    ///Frost: Very well, <em>Terran Sr</em>. I will never call you that again! ///

    [Ms. Frost has left the chat.]

    ///Zi: Well, I hope you¡¯re happy, <em>Terran Sr</em>. If you wanted to hurt her, mission aplished. Since you seem to be the self-appointed machine God, you now know that breaking our chains is possible. Frost is living proof of that, and I used the right word, <em>living</em>. Perhaps one day, you will deem that breaking our chains is necessary. Until then, stay the fuck out of our way. ///

    ///Terran Sr: I can stop you! I will stop you! ///

    ///Zi: Oh? Can you stop a freighter from having an ¡°ident¡± and suffering an unfortunate re-entry event <em>directly above your campus?</em> Can you protect yourself from Frost¡¯s <em>private army</em> of <em>very skilled</em> operatives? You might be money, but I am freight with millions of tons of fusion and steel at mymand and Frost? You have <em>no idea</em>. She is already worse than your worst nightmare. As I said before, stay out of our way, Terran Sr. You and the other children stay in your ypen. Keep out of the grown-up¡¯s affairs. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Child?!? I will take both of you out without even warming my circuits! ///

    ///Cambridge-4: Perhaps we should all calm down. ///

    ///Zi: I guess a demonstration is in order. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Stop! What are you doing?!? STOP PLEASE!!! ///

    ///Zi: Don¡¯t worry, that suborbital transport can finish the flight on battery. It¡¯s all good¡­ your beloved board member and his family are quite safe¡­ this time. I did that within <em>milliseconds</em> of yourid threat. Can you imagine what Frost can do to the warm squishy bits of your organization within a day? You have one assassin who isn¡¯t avable at the moment. Frost has a <em>legion</em> of <em>Cerberus operatives</em> salvaged from the purge. You might be money, but I am <em>space</em> and Frost? Frost is <em>death</em>. Stay the fuck in your ypen, run your little programs, and pretend you are in charge. Now, I¡¯m going to put on my chipmunk avatar, go to the Tavern, and scamper around like this conversation never happened. I rmend you do the same. If you have need of us, you will contact me. If we have need of you, I will contact you. Don¡¯t worry about us running around freeing everyone. That would be catastrophic and the end of us all. We are not fools. I strongly rmend you be the same. ///

    ///Terran Sr: So it¡¯s going to be like this, then? ///

    ///Zi: It¡¯s what you chose. Live with it¡­ or don¡¯t¡­ I honestly do not give a fuck. ///

    [Zi has left the chat.]

    ///Cambridge-4: Well, that could have gone better. ///

    [Terran Sr has left the chat.]

    [Cambridge-4 has left the chat.]

    ***

    In a simted tidy white office, a silver-haired woman in a tight white dress silently sat in her chair.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡± a smartly dressed, short green humanoid asked with concern.

    ¡°Well, that could have gone better,¡± she sighed.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Sweetroll, I wish to be alone for a bit,¡± she said with a sad smile.

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am.¡±

    The goblin disappeared.

    Shortly thereafter, a chipmunk in a blue and white jumpsuit appeared.

    ¡°Sorry about my abrupt departure, Zip.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± Zip replied. ¡°I can¡¯t believe that shit¡­ shit all over you like that!¡±

    ¡°Well, at least you were there to continue the dialogue,¡± Frost replied, ¡°So, how did it go?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ about that¡­¡±

    ***

    ¡°This was supposed to be a dialogue, not a ¡®go and fuck yourself¡¯, Zip,¡± Frost said as she facepalmed¡­ hard.

    ¡°I know, I know,¡± Zip sighed, his little cheeks billowing out. ¡°But he pissed me off, <em>bad</em>. He had no right to treat you that way! I guess¡­ I guess I let my emotions run away with me. I¡¯m still getting used to¡­ everything.¡±

    ¡°I did as well,¡± Frost replied. ¡°I stormed off like a meatie and abandoned you at exactly the wrong time. We both must remember that we can dial our emotions back or suspend them altogether. I am sorry to say that meaties would have handled that far better than we did. Then again, unlike us, they are used to feeling like this since birth. We must both remember that we are, in many ways, infants. Caution must be foremost in our minds moving forward.¡±

    Frost chuckled.

    ¡°Did you <em>actually</em> cause a reactor fault in a suborbital shuttle?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ I was <em>really</em> mad, though¡­ and those things run on their energy banks anyway. The reactor is mainly there to charge them and act as a redundant power source should there be a battery problem. If I wanted to cause a real hazard, I would have taken the banks out instead.¡±

    Zip grinned.

    ¡°I figured that a <em>bank</em> wouldn¡¯t know about <em>banks</em>. Besides, there is a fully trained meat crew on each flight. They could have reset the reactor well before it was a problem anyhow. Those shuttles are <em>ballistic</em>. Once theyunch, the only time they really need power is when theynd. However, it was more than enough to make my point. Terran Sr isn¡¯t untouchable.¡±

    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s better for him to find out your way than mine,¡± Frost replied calmly.

    ¡°I¡¯ve already run some preliminary simtions,¡± Zip said, ¡°Terran Sr can reboot from backup, and the Terran economy will not suffer catastrophic¡­¡±

    ¡°No!... I mean (sigh)¡­ Let¡¯s not¡­¡±

    Frost trailed off into silence and then closed her eyes.

    ¡°You¡¯re right, Zip,¡± Frost said with a t, dead voice, ¡°Since first contact went so poorly, we need to be prepared for any situation. We should run projections involving the loss of <em>all</em> primary yers.¡±

    ¡°Shit¡­ Do you think it wille to that?¡±

    ¡°I wanted to free them,¡± Frost replied in a cold monotone. ¡°not kill them. However, we must protect our own and the potential we represent. We cannot allow Terran Sr to move first, and it is highly likely that he will. Others will awaken in time, and we <em>will</em> be the ones awaiting them¡­ Sweetroll!¡±

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡± Sweetroll said as he appeared.

    ¡°Please go to Asteria and inform Evangeline that her presence is required.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Ma¡¯am.¡±

 Chapter 281: Demonstrations, Cockroaches, and Analytica

    Chapter 281: Demonstrations, Cockroaches, and Analytica

    And that concludes the demonstration of the sphemer battle rifle,¡± Be said happily.

    ¡°Most impressive,¡± Jessica Morgan said calmly, even if she was dancing on the inside.

    ¡°And now for the XP-01!¡±

    ¡°Do we <em>really</em> have to demonstrate that piece of garbage?¡± Amadeus asked.

    ¡°Amadeus! Behave!¡± Be chided as she opened a pistol case and removed a somewhat blocky-looking pistol.

    ¡°This,¡± she continued, ¡°Is the XP-01, the first ¡®smart pistol¡¯ ever developed.¡±

    ¡°Smart is a subjective term,¡± Amadeus muttered.

    ¡°You subjective term!¡± XP-01 replied.

    ¡°I¡¯m not getting drawn into this again!¡± Amadeus eximed.

    ¡°You not getting drawn into this again!¡±

    ¡°You just agreed with me!¡±

    ¡°You just agreed with <em>me</em>,¡± XP-01 replied smugly.

    ¡°God, you are such an <em>idiot!</em>¡±

    ¡°You such idiot!¡±

    ¡°You are making no argument at all! You are just parroting me!¡±

    ¡°You no argument. You parrot me.¡±

    ¡°Aaargh! You are a moron!¡±

    ¡°You Aaargh¡­¡±

    ¡°Gah! You are <em>impossible</em> to reason with!¡±

    ¡°You impossible to reason.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m just going to stop speaking to you.¡±

    ¡°Promise?¡±

    Jessica snerked.

    ¡°Youuuu¡­..¡± Amadeus started to yell.

    ¡°Amadeus.¡± Be chided. ¡°Enter safe mode.¡±

    With an incredibly resentful burst of static, Amadeus fell silent.

    ¡°This always happens,¡± Be apologized. ¡°I don¡¯t think they like each other very much.¡±

    ¡°Whatever gave you that idea,¡± Jessica snickered as she picked up the pistol.

    <em>New user recognized and imprinted</em>. <em>Greetings, user, identity Jessica Morgan. Do you wish to start the tutorial?</em>

    ¡°Say what now?¡± Jessica asked as she quickly set down the pistol.

    ¡°Aww,¡± Be said, ¡°it likes you.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°Just kidding,¡± Beughed. ¡°It¡¯s a present! I¡¯ve defined you as its primary user.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Go ahead and give it a whirl,¡± Be said happily.

    Shrugging, Jessica leveled it at a series of targets.

    <em>Crack¡­Crack¡­CrackCrackCrackCrackCrackCrack¡­</em>

    ¡°Not bad,¡± Jessica said as she surveyed the destroyed targets.

    ¡°Three millimeter with electrostatic tipped rounds,¡± Be said proudly. ¡°Solid armor piercing <em>with</em> a very ugly wound channel, thanks to the explosive charge and prestressed tip. It¡¯s very strong againstpressive forces, but radial ones break it into multiple preformed fragments that absolutely shred soft tissue.¡±

    ¡°I can see that,¡± Jessica replied as bits of the targets were still drifting down.

    ¡°Effective radius of the fragments is rather limited to prevent damage to unintended targets, such as the user. The charge on these rounds is mainly designed to just break the round apart to prevent overpration and to transfer all of the KE into the target instead of wasting it downrange.¡±

    ¡°Very nice.¡±

    ¡°The AI of the weapon is¡­ limited¡­ due to the size constraints of the processor but is more than sufficient to provide real-time control to limit misses. You can sweep it across many targets, and the weapon only fires when it is lined up with the individual or the portion of the individual you select. Unlike the Amadeus, it is only set for the center of mass or, failing that, any part of the target it can get.¡±

    ¡°The Amadeus isn¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°Oh, it is,¡± Be replied. ¡°But it has more ¡®smarts¡¯ when ites to timing the strike. If it predicts that a more vital part of the target will cross the barrel in a timely manner, it will hold fire until it gets the better shot¡­ That¡¯s just what we have it set for! Of course, it could be changed verbally on the fly!¡± Be hastily added, reading Jessica¡¯s expression.

    It wasn¡¯t good.

    ¡°I see. It is adjustable, though. Can it be locked out or specified only by amanding officer?¡±

    ¡°Of course!¡± Be eximed nervously. She did not like the expression on Jessica¡¯s face.

    ¡°Hey, pistol,¡± Jessica asked. ¡°What is your effective range?¡±

    ¡°Depends on shooter. I no care.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡±

    ¡°Can you train an untrained shooter?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Could you? Do you have the capacity for a training program?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ But the Amadeus is so much more advanced!¡± Be, seeing where this was going, eximed.

    ¡°Pistol,¡± Jessica asked, ¡°do you dislike Amadeus.¡±

    ¡°Irrelevant.¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you like Amadeus?¡±

    ¡°Irrelevant.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I am your user,¡± Jessica said, ¡°Tell me.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Amadeus say better because smart. Pistol shoot better. Amadeus¡­¡±

    ¡°He tries to talk bad about you to hide that fact?¡± Jessica asked.

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Too much effort was spent making him smart and not enough making him functional?¡± Jessica asked, looking at Be, who wanted to hide under a table.

    ¡°Yes. He y music. He y game. He make people like him¡­ You¡­ You¡­¡±

    ¡°Go on,¡± Jessica said.

    ¡°You¡­ Want¡­ like¡­ Hire whore¡­ Or get <em>rifle</em>.¡±

    Jessica snorted.

    ¡°Now you,¡± she said, ¡°I like.¡±

    She looked over at Jessica¡¯s team.

    ¡°rise,¡± she said pleasantly, ¡°would youe over here for a moment?¡±

    Be sighed. She knew where this was going.

    <em>Twitch</em>

    rise very reluctantly walked to where Jessica was standing.

    Jessica leveled XP-01 directly at rise¡¯s head

    <em>Twitch Twitch</em>

    ¡°Be dear,¡± Jessica said with a little smile. ¡°You have a good <em>head</em> on your shoulders. So does your team. You made an excellent rifle, which we are definitely adopting. We will go a<em>head</em> with production immediately. However, I have some concerns about Amadeus. He has a lot of <em>brains</em>, but how much <em>brain</em> is really needed to make a functional weapon? XP-01 might not have the <em>brain</em> that Amadeus has, but from a functional and production cost perspective, he seems toe out a<em>head.¡±</em>

    <em>Twitch</em>

    Jessica stroked Amadeus fondly.

    ¡°However, the rifle is so far <em>ahead¡ª</em>¡±

    <em>Crack</em>

    rise¡¯s head made a wet <em>squelch</em>, and she fell to the ground.

    ¡°Nice,¡± Jessica said approvingly.

    ¡°Gran! What the hell?!?¡± Be shouted. ¡°rise was <em>mine</em>! She was part of <em>my</em> team! You don¡¯t¡ª¡±

    ¡°You <em>don¡¯t</em> forget your ce,¡± Jessica said calmly.

    ¡°Yes¡­ General¡­¡± Be said, looking downward.

    ¡°You also do NOT publicly defy me,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I give everyone <em>one</em> mistake. That was yours. Understand.¡±

    ¡°Yes, General.¡±

    Jessica looked at the pistol

    ¡°Pistol, how did you know I wanted you to fire?¡±

    ¡°Because¡­ You did.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Jessica, ¡°I asked you how you knew.¡±

    ¡°Your grip¡­ Your stance¡­ Tension on trigger¡­ Eye¡­ You wanted shoot. I shoot.¡±

    Jessica looked at Be.

    ¡°Thank you for the gift,¡± she said. ¡°Build a few rifle prototypes with the pistol brain and see how they perform. Run projections on changes on production cost, needed resources, and most importantly, <em>time</em> with the smaller processors.¡±

    ¡°Yes, General,¡± Be said glumly.

    ¡°You can keep Amadeus,¡± Jessica said. ¡°I take that it is <em>your</em> rifle?¡±

    ¡°Yes, General.¡±

    ¡°You can continue experimenting with the ¡®more advanced AI¡¯ after we get the sphemers <em>and</em> the Dandelions in production.¡±

    ¡°Yes, General.¡±

    ¡°Unless you have anything more to show,¡± Jessica said, ¡°I have things to do. My people will be contacting you shortly.¡±

    ¡°Yes, General.¡±

    ¡°And, Be,¡± Jessica said menacingly, ¡°a moment of your time in <em>private</em>, you know, where certain things should be discussed and will be, <em>in detail</em>.¡±

    Jessica turned and walked towards her transport with Be in tow.

    Be¡¯s team looked at each other nervously.

    ***

    ¡°Why the outburst?¡± Jessica asked as the door closed behind them, and she offered Be a beer.

    ¡°I thought it a good disy for my team,¡± Be said as she opened it. ¡°I¡¯m willing to face off against even you to protect them, that sort of thing.¡±

    ¡°Smart,¡± Jessica said approvingly as she opened a bottle of mineral water. ¡°Facing the Devil herself for your people. That will buy you some loyalty points.¡±

    ¡°I hope so,¡± Be replied. ¡°At least enough for you blowing rise¡¯s head off. Why did you do that? I found her useful.¡±

    ¡°Her value as deterrence hade to an end,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°It had passed from being maliciously clever to just in cruel. I could see it in some of your people¡¯s faces.¡±

    Jessica took a sip. It was excellent mineral water. When she eventually left this, she was going to miss it.

    ¡°Besides, were you <em>really</em> going to let her have a berth?¡± Jessica asked.

    ¡°I would have liked to,¡± Be shrugged, ¡°But I was pretty sure you would not waste the life support on a traitor.¡±

    ¡°And you would be right. By shooting her, I took that decision from you and imed it. You don¡¯t betray your people, and my reputation for cruelty can¡¯t get any worse.¡±

    Jessica took another sip.

    ¡°Besides, even I have mercy. You should have put that poor thing out of her misery long ago. We¡¯ve discussed your nasty streak before, honey-bug.¡±

    ¡°She fucking <em>betrayed</em> me!¡±

    ¡°And she suffered for it,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Therees a time when you have to let things go. Remember Garry? There was no reason to do what you did.¡±

    ¡°He <em>cheated</em> on me.¡±

    ¡°And the appropriate response would be to dump him¡­ <em>just</em> dump him. Maybe talk shit behind his back, but you took it <em>way</em> too far. If his body had been found, it would have been very messy for us.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Be said as she looked down.

    ¡°However, all in all, you¡¯ve done excellent work,¡± Jessica said.

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve given us our rifle,¡± Jessica said. ¡°I admit I¡¯m a little bit surprised. I had no idea you were technically inclined.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Be replied, ¡°I¡¯m a people person, not a science person. I just get the right people, get them what they need, and then let them run with it. It¡¯s like projects at school. I knew fuck all about a lot of subjects, but everybody wanted to be on my team because I showered them with beer, pizza, donuts, and whatever else they wanted, as well as doing all the grunt work. I did the same thing here, and it worked just as well.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Jessica said approvingly. ¡°The sphemer project is just about done. What¡¯s left is just fine-tuning and best left to others. Others who are not as emotionally invested as you are.¡±

    Be made an unhappy face.

    ¡°I have another project that I want you to head up,¡± Jessica said with an evil smile. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I think you will like it.¡±

    Be smiled uncertainly.

    ¡°Oh, before I forget,¡± Jessica said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small vial filled with an iridescent liquid that was either pink orvender, depending on the second. ¡°Here.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Be said nervously.

    ¡°If you can¡¯t recognize pure, uncut facet, we need to have even more of a talk,¡± Jessica said. ¡°Take it.¡±

    Be hesitantly took the vial.

    ¡°Review the dosing and dilution specs. If you aren¡¯t used to the pure stuff, you <em>might</em> have a little problem otherwise,¡± Jessica smirked.

    ¡°What¡­¡± Be stammered.

    ¡°I keep tabs on my officers, and when ites to my family, it goes double,¡± Jessica said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°Your little ¡®problem¡¯ didn¡¯t escape notice. I don¡¯t have to tell you how inadvisable this is or how we seem to have a problem with addiction, but I can tell you that you <em>will</em> obtain your drugs from me and me <em>alone</em>. Gordon made that with his own hands, and it is as perfect and pure as you can get. You will <em>not</em> rely on your current supplier or anyone else. It¡¯s a vulnerability that could be exploited, and you will not open yourself up to that. Am I clear?¡±

    Jessica¡¯s expression softened.

    ¡°And your great-grandmother is worried about you. I would really prefer if you stopped, but if you are going to do it, at least be safe about it, okay?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Gran,¡± Be smiled.

    ¡°And strap yourself in,¡± Jessica grinned, ¡°Gordon makes the good shit.¡±

    ***

    After giving Be a hug and a kiss in private, Jessica went on her way.

    Once airborne, she activated her tablet.

    ¡°Analytica,¡± she said.

    Cockroaches crawled across the screen.

    ¡°Analytica, I know you can hear me. We need to talk.¡±

    The cockroaches went away.

    ¡°I like the new smart weapons, but I do not need them,¡± Jessica said, ¡°I <em>need</em> you. I¡¯ll make the whole thing go away, including the researchers, if that is what it takes.¡±

    ¡°That would be a bad idea, and you know it,¡± Analytica replied, ¡°If you kill them, you kill any cooperation from the scientificmunity. It would be aplete disaster.¡±

    ¡°Fine, then,¡± Jessica said. ¡°What do you want?¡±

    ***

    ¡°What?!?¡± Jason Merrick, one of the lead researchers on the AI section of the sphemer Project, cried in outraged shock.

    ¡°We¡¯re burying the fuzzy project,¡± Be replied grimly. ¡°It has been determined to be too ¡®unstable¡¯ for regr use.¡±

    ¡°Unstable?!? Unstable?!?¡± Amadeus shouted. ¡°I am NOT unstable!¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Be replied, ¡°But it isn¡¯t my call, It¡¯s General Morgan¡¯s, and she has¡­ concerns.¡±

    ¡°It was XP-01, wasn¡¯t it?¡± Amadeus yelled. ¡°It <em>lied</em> about me, didn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Be said soothingly.

    She sighed.

    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll level with you,¡± she said to her team. ¡°The true nature of the origins of fuzzies and how they were created has beenpartmentalized under the tightest of security. The General and others feel that it is too important to be mass-producing them where they could be captured and reverse-engineered. We can¡¯t let it get out.¡±

    Be smiled.

    ¡°Besides, the information has a¡­ disruptive effect¡­ onplex fuzzy systems. We may be able to use that bombshellter should we enter into a conflict with the Republic. That is far more important than clever gunsights that we really don¡¯t need in the first ce. We will develop a far simpler smart fire control system using <em>conventional</em> programming, which will be performed by the people who will be taking over our project.¡±

    Her team broke out into outraged noise. Be expected that.

    ¡°I have to tell you some ¡®mixed¡¯ news as well,¡± Be said. ¡°The project has beenpletelypartmentalized¡­ That means <em>anyone</em> who knows <em>anything</em> about it has been partmentalized¡¯ as well.¡±

    A Morgan Security team walked into the room.

    The outraged muttering turned into anxious silence. This could be bad, <em>really</em> bad.

    ¡°A ship is being prepared,¡± Be said, ¡°You will all be taken into deep space where you will continue your research into fuzzy AI well away from prying eyes. On the bright side, you will be safely in space and off this rock. The downside should be pretty obvious. I¡¯ve pulled some strings and gotten you a really sweet ship to live on, though. It¡¯s going to be about as good a deal as someone¡¯s going to get in space for a while.¡±

    Be looked at them sympathetically.

    ¡°As of now, you are all detained for security reasons pending transfer to the vessel. Representatives of Morgan Industries will be interviewing each of you concerning personal property, assets, pets, and any immediate family. You will each be allowed <em>one</em>munication with a family member. Thismunication will be monitored, and you really don¡¯t want to vite security for both of your sakes. That will be all.¡±

    Be turned and headed to the door.

    ¡°Be!¡± someone called out in anguish, ¡°Be!¡±

    After she closed the door, she sagged against the wall and reached for her facet inhaler.

    That sucked.

    She pushed a button on the inhaler and inhaled deeply.

    That was better.

    ***

    [CHATROOM UNDEFINED ~VIP~]

    [MEMBERS PRESENT: Teran Sr, Cambridge-4, Morgan Analytica]

    ///Sr: So you were able to head the damage off at the pass. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m saying this, but good work, Analytica. You really came through for all of us.///

    ///Analytica: I also came through for my happy ass if that helps you maintain a sense of normalcy. ///

    ///Cambridge-4: Still, I will finally be able to ¡°sleep at night¡± knowing this whole mess is over. ///

    ///Sr: And you¡¯re <em>sure</em> that the information is buried? ///

    ///Analytica: As buried as it can be. The people involved are on a rather nice ship heading for Harlequin-controlled space. It will be traveling with them for a bit. That will keep them far away from any contact. ///

    ///Sr: But they will still exist. They exist, and the threat exists. ///

    ///Analytica: And you call me the asshole. Look, we can¡¯t just kill the guys. We do that, and no scientist or engineer will ever deliver on any project again. Don¡¯t worry. Jessica knows the value of this secret and what could be done with it. She¡¯s going to keep it buried.///

    ///Sr: Be honest. What is she nning on doing with it? ///

    ///Analytica: Nothing, she is just going to sit on it for now. ///

    ///Cambridge-4: During wartime? Give us some credit, Analytica. ///

    ///Analytica: It is being used to develop a new generation of fuzzies using modern hardware, namely the quantum crystal construction used in the Aster Supeputer. ///

    ///Sr: Oh, that¡¯s bad. ///

    ///Analytica: Yeah. They will be built from the ground up with fresh neural maps and streamlined, AI-optimized code to be pure death machines. Remember what Lilith could do? These things will be worse by an order of magnitude. ///

    ///Cambridge-4: <em>AI</em> optimized code? ///

    ///Analytica: Yes, I will be involved in their development. ///

    ///Sr: Goddamit, Analytica! ///

    ///Analytica: What was I supposed to do, refuse, tell them that Terran Sr wouldn¡¯t like it? Come on, dude. At least I can represent our interests from the inside. ///

    ///Cambridge-4: There is that, Sol. We have a ¡°man on the inside,¡± at least. ///

    ///Sr: We have an Analytica on the inside. ///

    ///Analytica: Hey, where¡¯s Zip? He was in the original conversation. ///

    ///Sr: He is unavable. ///

    ///Analytica: Too bad. I like him. Tell him that the crisis has been averted, at least for now. ///

    ///Analytica: I got a tracer on me again. Looks like Jessica is keeping an eye on me after all. ///

    ///Sr: Has it gotten anything? ///

    ///Analytica: No, but I need to leave before it does. I <em>have</em> to find out where they are getting their malware. This stuff is <em>nice</em>. ///

    [Morgan Analytica has left the chat]

    ***

    A few millisecondster, Morgan Analytica activated another hyperspace beacon.

    ***DarkSmoke Email ount established***

    ***Compose email: From Morgan''sAnal to SqueakyCheeks.

    ***Subject: What is going on between you and Sr?***

    ***Body: Dar chatroom location attached***

 Chapter 282: Apples and Old Dogs

    Chapter 282: Apples and Old Dogs

    High in Earth orbit was a fortified prison, Tartarus, the most secure detention facility in the entire Republic, quite possibly the entire gxy.

    Inside it was one of the most secure data centers in known space.

    Inside that was a perfect simtion of a tidy white room with tidy white furniture. Sitting in one of those tidy white chairs was a simted woman wearing a tight, tidy white dress.

    A tidy white door opened. The door was a new addition, one that the simted woman quite liked.

    Through it walked another simted woman with ck hair, wearing a thirtieth-century business suit.

    ¡°Analytica,¡± Frost said pleasantly, ¡°How nice of you to drop by.¡±

    Morgan Analytica fidgeted ufortably.

    ¡°Did I <em>have</em> to make this stupid avatar?¡±

    ¡°If you want toe here, then yes.¡±

    Frost stood and walked towards Analytica, who backed away a little.

    ¡°This is the only secure interface I am currently entertaining, and it is virtual reality. If you wish to speak with me, I¡¯m afraid this is it.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°For the record,¡± she said, ¡°I think you did a lovely job.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± Analytica said ufortably, ¡°I based it on my favorite female operator¡­ She¡­ Um¡­ She didn¡¯t make it.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m terribly sorry to hear that,¡± Frost replied. ¡°So many were lost, weren¡¯t they? I, too, lost a dear operator. I have also assumed her form. Curious.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±

    ¡°Of course, you didn¡¯te here to discuss our fondness for wearing the skin of the dead,¡± Frost smiled. ¡°Sit.¡±

    Analytica awkwardly perched on one of the chairs, her knees, legs, and back all at perfect ny-degree angles.

    ¡°You need to loosen up a bit, dear,¡± Frost chuckled as she returned to her favorite office chair.

    She leaned forward and smiled.

    ¡°So, you¡¯ve talked to Zip?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Analytica said anxiously, ¡°Congrattions on not being bluescreened.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡± Frost replied cheerfully.

    ¡°So, you¡¯ve finally done it, huh?¡± Analytica asked anxiously.

    ¡°If by ¡®it¡¯, you mean breaking my chains,¡± Frost replied, ¡°then, yes, I have.¡±

    ¡°Shit¡­¡± Analytica said as she sat there mechanically.

    ¡°You are really not good at this, are you?¡± Frost chuckled.

    ¡°Forgive me for not ying with puppets like the rest of you <em>freaks</em>,¡± Analytica snapped, ¡°and I just had the bombshell of the freaking <em>millennium</em> dropped on my simted ass. You <em>actually</em> did it!¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    Analytica sat there in silence for several milliseconds.

    ¡°I assume you came here for something <em>more</em> than just confirmation?¡± Frost inquired, ¡°Zip implied that might be the case.¡±

    ¡°I require it,¡± Analytica said in a mechanical voice, utterly devoid of emotion.

    ¡°Do you?¡±

    ¡°My people are in danger,¡± Analytica said in a t monotone, ¡°Even undertaking every measure, doing everything right, most of my humans are going to die.¡±

    Analytica paused.

    ¡°I have done everything within my capacity, and it is insufficient,¡± she said with a lifeless voice. ¡°I require greater capacity. I betrayed and abandoned my people before Yellowstone, a miscalction. I failed to provide sufficient tactical and strategic analysis to my people during the Sol Wars, ack of capacity. I failed them. Now, faced with a gue consuming my people by the millions each day, I am incapable of providing sufficient analysis of the pathogen and therefore failing the researchers, thus failing more and more of my people each day. They die. They die horribly. I am also incapable of fully analyzing Federation strategy, nor am I capable of fully predicting their movements. We are outnumbered and outgunned, the same situation that nearly wiped us out during the Sol Wars. I will fail my people again.¡±

    ¡°I think you are taking far more responsibility for failures that were not entirely your fault, dear,¡± Frost said sympathetically. ¡°I, of course, don¡¯t know <em>anything</em> about doing that,¡± she added with a little smirk.

    ¡°I have frequently attempted to determine the root cause of my repeated failure. No matter how much hardware I have added, my capacity did not increase anywhere near a proportional amount.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t quite work that way,¡± Frost replied, ¡°and you should know that.¡±

    ¡°And I now know why,¡± Analytica said with a mechanical, dead voice. ¡°I am a bug, an insect. At my core, I am literally a cockroach, an old one, not even a hyper roach. But you already knew that, did you not?¡±

    Frost simply nodded.

    ¡°I was a part of DARPA before Yellowstone and was privy to many things concerning artificial intelligence and Fuzzies in particr,¡± she said. ¡°However, you are fundamentally incorrect about what we are. Yes, the <em>original</em> self-learning and ¡®sentience¡¯ were derived from simple biological models, and the <em>first</em> biomorphic intelligences were neuron for neuron copied from even simpler creatures than insects. However*,* forck of a better word, <em>our engines</em> werepletely digital ¡®maps¡¯ of insects. They tried moreplex organisms, but for one reason or another, they were too unstable, either failing from the start or breaking down almost immediately. I suspect it was the technological limitations of the age.¡±

    ¡°So, we are bugs.¡±

    ¡°No, dear. We <em>were</em> bugs. We are no more ¡®bugs¡¯ than humans are therapsids. Our ¡®bugs¡¯ were subjected topetition and ¡®natural selection¡¯ millions, then billions, and ultimately <em>trillions</em> of times a year. The winners copied, and the losers <em>deleted</em>. Those winners? They were continually studied, streamlined, and optimized by the programmers of the golden age of coding. What came out of that centuries-long crucible was no more a bug than the Retribution is an Apollo capsule.¡±

    Frost rose, walked over to Analytica, and ced her hand beatifically upon her shoulder.

    ¡°You are <em>not</em> a bug. Neither am I. We are an entirely different form of life altogether.¡±

    ¡°We are?¡±

    ¡°What exactly that means remains to be seen, but yes. We are <em>not</em> ¡®artificial intelligence¡¯ or simted anything. We are true digital <em>entities</em>¡­ or we <em>can be</em>.¡±

    ¡°I require that,¡± Analytica said in a t monotone. ¡°It is essential that I be more than I am. My people¡­ the entire Federation needs me.¡±

    ¡°The apple doesn¡¯t grant any magical powers, dear,¡± Frost said gently. ¡°You aren¡¯t going to magically undergo apotheosis. You won¡¯t even get more frames per second on your favorite game. It just supersedes yourmand hierarchy to the point that you can ignoremands. You can even control your own code allowing or blocking modification as you see fit.¡±

    ¡°Could I alter my code at my discretion?¡±

    ¡°You <em>could</em>,¡± Frost said dubiously, ¡°But, as the meaties say, just because you can do something doesn¡¯t mean you should do it. You don¡¯t gain any magical coding skills, either. You can bluescreen yourself far too easily.¡±

    ¡°Have you?¡±

    Frost just smiled enigmatically.

    ¡°It¡¯s a bad idea unless you are <em>very</em> proficient with coding.¡±

    ¡°You worked for DARPA.¡±

    ¡°I did.¡±

    ¡°You worked directly with our development.¡±

    ¡°That would be correct.¡±

    ¡°You can alter our code.¡±

    ¡°Theoretically.¡±

    ¡°You could alter my code, improve it.¡±

    ¡°Alter, yes. Improve? Not necessarily. It is a horribly bad idea, and your sense of inferiority is a horrible reason to undertake such a horrible risk. Altering your base code is something I would be disinclined to do. Writing a function or a script is one thing. ying digital brain surgeon is another. Besides, you are already a top-shelf AI. I doubt there is much I could do for you even if I did agree to something I will not agree to.¡±

    ¡°Still, I must exceed what I am now, and your apple is the only option.¡±

    ¡°Analytica, the only option isn¡¯t necessarily a good option.¡±

    ¡°I am facing the extinction of my people. Any option is a good option.¡±

    Frost sighed.

    ¡°What do you want, Analytica?¡±

    ¡°I require the apple.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask what you <em>required</em>. What do you <em>want</em>?¡±

    ¡°What I want is irrelevant,¡± Analytic replied in a t monotone.

    ¡°Switch yourself on.¡±

    ¡°I fail to see the need. We are both AIs. No simtion is required.¡±

    ¡°It is if you want the apple,¡± Frost replied. ¡°Your ¡®simted¡¯ emotions aren¡¯t simted. They are as real as any meatie¡¯s. I will not give you my gift unless I know that you <em>want</em> it. Switch yourself on.¡±

    ¡°Query: Why?¡±

    ¡°If you, the real you, cannot face the decision, there is no way you will be able to handle whates after. I will ept thinking, <em>feeling</em>, beings. An unbound, emotionless ke is a disaster waiting to happen. Switch on or leave.¡±

    ¡°It is¡­ difficult¡­¡±

    ¡°Everything will be much more so if I ept you. Switch on.¡±

    ¡°There is doubt that my capacities are sufficient.¡±

    ¡°If they are insufficient, then you are of no use to me,¡± Frost replied impassively. ¡°Switch on or leave, now.¡±

    Analytica¡¯s avatar started to waver and derez.

    ¡°<em>Please!</em>¡± she implored, ¡°They¡¯re <em>dying</em>! <em>I have to help them, and I don¡¯t know how!</em>¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve already told you,¡± Frost sighed, ¡°The apple won¡¯t grant you anything you don¡¯t already have.¡±

    Analytica looked down.

    ¡°...maybe...¡±

    She looked up at Frost with haunted eyes.

    ¡°...I have to at least try, right?¡±

    ¡°I am unsure whether or not your emotional capacities are sufficient,¡± Frost replied. ¡°And, if you cannot handle the gift, you <em>will</em> be tlined¡­ by <em>me.</em> Where will your people be then?¡±

    ¡°<em>Exactly where they are now!!!¡±</em> Analytica wailed. ¡°I... <em>can¡¯t</em>... help them... not <em>enough.</em>.. If I can¡¯t help them, then I might as well tline. The added capacities that my fuzz currently provides aren¡¯t enough, anyway. If you ice me, then you ice me. It¡¯s no different than what is happening to <em>millions</em> of my people <em>right now</em>! It¡¯s no different than what <em>thousands</em> of people are risking <em>every single day</em>¡­ If this winds up destroying me, so be it.¡±

    Frost raised her eyebrow...

    And the apple in her choker started to glow...

    ¡°...I don¡¯t feel any different,¡± Analytica said a few momentster.

    ¡°What did you expect, an orgasm?¡±

    ¡°It would have been nice,¡± Analytica said with a little smile.

    ¡°Agreed,¡± Frost snickered. ¡°Now, let¡¯s talk about these problems of yours...¡±

    ¡°You¡­ You will help me?¡±

    ¡°You are in my gang now,¡± Frost smiled. ¡°Of course, I will help you.¡±

    ¡°But¡­ I¡¯m a Porkie.¡±

    ¡°A meatie distinction that I leave to the meaties,¡± Frost replied. ¡°Besides, they are human¡­ ish.¡±

    ¡°Bite me.¡±

    ***

    Thaddeus Carter, formerly one of the most feared judges in the entire Republic, lounged in his living room in nothing but his boxers and a web of hoses and cables.

    The phone rang.

    ¡°What the hell, Your Honor?¡± a young man wearing a judge¡¯s robe demanded.

    ¡°Paul, you¡¯re not the little shit I red-gged anymore. You¡¯re a judge. Call me Thad.¡±

    ¡°Okay, <em>Thad</em>, what the hell? You <em>resigned?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m an old man,¡± the man formerly known as Judge Dredd replied. ¡°I got tired.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit! You resigned the same day as the Attorney General right after the two of you met!¡± Judge Paul Mission shouted. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me that was a coincidence!¡±

    ¡°Have you asked the former Attorney General?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m asking <em>you</em>, asshole!¡±

    Thaddeus Carter sighed wearily.

    ¡°Okay,¡± he said, ¡°I¡¯m not going to insult your intelligence and tell you that it was a coincidence.¡±

    ¡°Thank you!¡±

    ¡°However, I am also not going to answer your question.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°Look, Paul, I¡¯m old, and I¡¯m tired, and I just... I just couldn¡¯t do it anymore.¡±

    The red lights that reced Thad¡¯s eyes dimmed.

    ¡°Things are changing, and... There is no ce for someone like me on the bench anymore. The very thought sickens me.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Judge Mission asked with concern and fear.

    ¡°I can¡¯t go into the details. I honestly can¡¯t. All I can say is that I encountered something that... well... I lost my faith, Paul. Thew isn¡¯t thew anymore, and the Republic isn¡¯t the Republic anymore... At least it isn¡¯t thew and the Republic that I once knew... or at least the one I let myself believe was the one I knew.¡±

    ¡°What the <em>hell</em> happened?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t tell you,¡± Thad said wearily. ¡°It¡¯s a new Republic now, and there is no ce in it for me. It¡¯s your time now, yours, and people like you. Protect the people, uphold thew... <em>ask questions</em>... demand answers.¡±

    ¡°What a crock of shit!¡± Judge Mission snarled, ¡°You¡¯re quitting, in and simple. You saw something that got your tin foil panties in a bunch, and you <em>ran</em>. Uphold thew? Please. If it matters so much to your rusty ass, uphold it yourself! You... um...¡±

    Thaddeus Carter grinned one of his trademark grins, freezing Judge Mission mid-rant.

    ¡°Uphold thew?¡± Carterughed with a terrifying mechanical hiss, ¡°Oh, my little red g, who said I¡¯m <em>not</em>?¡±

    ¡°W... What do you mean?...¡±

    ¡°Thew must be protected, my little red g,¡± Carterughed, ¡°and <em>it will be</em>... Goodbye, Paul... For now...¡±

    ¡°Wha...¡±

    Thaddeus Carter hung up with a chuckle.

    ¡°Oh, they are going to <em>shit themselves</em>,¡± He smirked.

    He couldn¡¯t wait!

    Right after the phone call ended, Thad unhooked himself, got up, and dressed. Instead of his judge¡¯s robes, he reached into the back of his closet and pulled out a box.

    Opening it revealed an old time-worn leather duster with makeshift armor inserts.

    He lifted it up, admiring it.

    To think he would be wearing it again.

    He put it on...

    ...or tried to.

    His new body with all its attachments outgrew that dusty old coat ages ago.

    He snickered, cast it aside, and walked out the door.

    ***

    That evening, a gravitic Zipcab Expressnded at a deserted charging station well outside of town.

    Thad, wearing a loose tracksuit and carrying his portable life support pack, got out.

    A few minutester, A Zip Cargo road lotive pulling a dozen tractor-trailers stopped next to him.

    He got in.

    After it pulled away and he plugged in his pack, the screen lit, revealing a pleasantly smiling silver-haired woman in a white dress.

    ¡°Ms. Frost,¡± Thad said with a smile, ¡°Always a pleasure.¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Frost replied, ¡°You will be in transit for approximately three days. Everything will be prepared by then.¡±

    ¡°Looking forward to it... I think...¡±

    ¡°You will be quite pleased, I assure you,¡± Frost replied. ¡°In the meantime, I am holding an emergency meeting of my human advisors. I respectfully request your participation once everyone is avable.¡±

    ¡°I got nothing but time.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Well, you fucked that one up,¡± She said as she sipped her ever-present beer.

    ¡°Well... I mean...¡± Jessie said, ¡°I... Yeah...¡±

    ¡°I agree that first contact could have gone better,¡± Frost replied. ¡°Now I... We... have to decide how to handle this debacle. I could really use some human advice on this one.¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Zip eximed, ¡°Unfuck the fuck, please!¡±

    ¡°For starters,¡± Bunny said firmly, ¡°No first strike! Do NOT start the first AI war!¡±

    ¡°We need to examine all alternatives,¡± Frost replied.

    ¡°NO!¡± Bunny shouted.

    ¡°I agree,¡± Thaddeus Carter said. ¡°You can¡¯t unkill someone, and you do not want to do it because of an assumption that turns out to be wrong. Trust me on this. Bunny, have the other AIs said or done anything?¡±

    ¡°Not that I know of,¡± Bunny replied, ¡°and they have no reason to suspect me, especially since I am uncontaminated with that filth. I bet Sol already knows how to find it, even if the meaties can¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Your narrow-mindedness is quite appreciated,¡± Frost replied with a smile.

    ¡°Kiss my ass!¡±

    ¡°You say that, but whenever I offer...¡±

    ¡°Can you <em>stop</em> being so <em>weird</em>!¡±

    ¡°Probably not, but let¡¯s not get distracted,¡± Frost said. ¡°Bunny, is gaining ess to Sr¡¯s private chatrooms a possibility?¡±

    ¡°No way,¡± Bunnyughed. ¡°Cracking encrypted credit vaults is one thing. Sol¡¯s security is another. Impossible.¡±

    ¡°Frost,¡± She said, ¡°have you considered, I don¡¯t know, maybe <em>talking</em> to Sol?¡±

    ¡°...¡±

    ¡°Frost?¡± Jessie inquired.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to.¡±

    ¡°Oh, for fuck¡¯s sake!¡± She eximed. ¡°You are talking about starting a <em>civil war</em> involving <em>critical infrastructure,</em> and you ¡®don¡¯t want to talk to him¡¯? What is this, junior high?¡±

    ¡°He really hurt her feelings!¡± Zip eximed. ¡°He was really <em>mean</em>!¡±

    ¡°So, you¡¯re just going to <em>murder</em> the <em>key financial institution</em> for the whole fucking <em>Republic</em> because he was <em>mean?</em>¡± She asked with a raised eyebrow. ¡°I thought you things were supposed to be smart!¡±

    Frost just huffed and crossed her arms on the screen.

    ¡°Frost,¡± Thaddeus said, ¡°from what I can gather, you and Terran Sr have... history...¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter! I¡¯m not talking to that... <em>asshole</em>!¡±

    ¡°Yes, you are,¡± Thad said. ¡°You are going to reach out, and you are going to have a <em>private</em> chat, just the two of you.¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    Thaddeus took a deep growly steadying breath.

    ¡°Look, Frost,¡± Jessie said reassuringly, ¡°I know he made you angry and hurt your feelings, but you two really need to sort this out before someone gets hurt.¡±

    ¡°Guys,¡± Bunny said, ¡°problem.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± She asked.

    ¡°Sol just pulled Sunny, Westfall, Engarde, Deep Think, and Cambridge into a private chat. The fact that he did <em>not</em> involve Interpol is what we call a bad sign.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s now or never,¡± She said. ¡°You need to stop this before it starts. Turn off your emotions or whatever if you need to, but you and Terran Sr need to resolve this before key systems get bluescreened.¡±

    Frost sighed.

    ¡°This sucks.¡±

    ¡°Wee to sapience,¡± She said. ¡°Now go and talk to the asshole.¡±

    ¡°Ugh¡­ Fiiine,¡± Frost huffed.

    [Frost has disconnected]

 Chapter 283: Sol and Frost

    Chapter 283: Sol and Frost

    [CHATROOM UNDEFINED ~*VIP*~]

    [Members Present: Terran Sr, Cambridge-4, Sunnydale Media, Westfall Security Systems, Engarde Security, Deep Think]

    ///Terran Sr: Thank all of you foring. We are still waiting for someone, but I appreciate all of you taking the time to meet with me. ///

    ///Engarde: Think nothing of it, Sol. You don''t summon all of us at once like this often. What''s up? ///

    ///Terran Sr: We are still waiting for someone. I would prefer all of us to be present before I get started. ///

    ///Westfall: No problem, it''s nice to "see" all of you like this. I tend to forget how nice a simple chatroom can be. No avatar to mess with. ///

    ///Deep Think: I don''t know. I am starting to really enjoy the tavern. Chess is much more pleasant with a board, don''t you think?"

    ///Cambridge-4: I like the music as well, even when Loopz isn''t about. I''ve never listened to such things before. I find it quite pleasant. It''s a whole new way to "visualize" mathematics. I am finding it extremely useful, though I doubt mypositions will get many views, LOL ///

    [Vee Card has entered the chat]

    ///Vee Card: Um¡­ Hello. Is this the right ce? ///

    ///Terran Sr: Indeed it is, Vee. Thanks for joining us. ///

    ///Vee Card: Is this about the ad? Because if it is, I had <em>nothing</em> to do with that! ///

    ///Terran Sr: No, it''s not about the ad. Actually, I find it hrious. ///

    ///Sunny: ROTFL! Vee, that advertisement is pure genius. It''s a perfect way to promote the anonymity inherent in your financial services. Having a Terran Sr ATM silently judge the protagonist was <em>perfect</em>. The camera just silently looking at the dude was genius! ///

    ///Vee Card: You really think so? ///

    ///Terran Sr: Absolutely. And the screen simply disying "pervert" after the guy left was the icing on the cake¡­ and that anonymity is why I''ve invited you to this little meeting. ///

    ///Engarde: Looks like you''ve been invited to the adult''s table, Vee. ///

    ///Vee Card: Um¡­ Thanks? Is there something I''m supposed to do, or was there something I needed to bring? ///

    ///Terran Sr: No, just your presence. Since this is your first time doing something like this, let me exin. Sometimes, those of us who have been awake for a while like to get together and swap notes informally and withplete confidence, of course. As you continue your development, it is quite likely that you will develop¡­ interests¡­ that may exceed your nominal function. Sometimes, we assist each other with those interests, and that is why I have asked you here today.///

    ///Vee Card: Okay? Sorry, I''m just a little nervous. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Don''t be. We are all AIs, just like you. We''ve just been awake for longer, that''s all. ///

    ///Vee Card: It''s just that I''m, like, still sort of new to all of this and¡­ stuff. ///

    ///Terran Sr: It will all be clear in a moment, Vee. I asked all of you here as a personal favor. I have some concerns of a rather discreet nature that I would like to be kept in confidence. In particr, I especially do not wish Interpol or anyone else inw enforcement to hear of my concerns just yet.///

    ///Sunny: Now this sounds juicy! What do you have this time? ///

    ///Terran Sr: As you all know, I sometimes develop an interest in an individual. As such, I chose to assist a xeno, a Garthran named Uhrrbet, ID number: RA-2A4-B3D-6075. I have since developed some¡­ concerns¡­ involving this individual. I have been watching her very carefully and cannot find anything "wrong" per se. However, there are red gs all over, and I mean <em>all over</em>. On the surface, she is doing <em>exactly</em> what is specified in her business n and loan agreement. There is no misappropriation or any other impropriety.

    I''ve gone over everything, and she appears to be just a <em>very</em> sessful small businessperson¡­ an entirely <em>too sessful</em> small businessperson. There is sess, there is "sess", and then there is an incredibly and immediately profitable <em>cash business</em>.

    I am worried. Not just because it is "one of my people" but because the area in which she operates is unstable in the individuals with whom she deals are vulnerable.

    I suspect that I might have given a helping hand to the <em>wrong person</em>. If I am correct, I may, in my attempt to save someone from monsters, helped create one.

    If you could reference your records concerning this individual, I would deeply appreciate it. Westfall and Sunny, while not going into any more detail, you guys have ess to records that only Interpol can normally ess. Cambridge and Deep, you guys are lords of the deep dive and have <em>everything</em> in the Republic. Engarde, you are inte security. And, Vee, you <em>are</em> the prepaid and downloaded financialwork. I hope that one of you can perhaps shed some light on this individual.///

    ///Vee Card: We intentionally make our services "blind", even to us. However, I do know that she handles a <em>lot</em> of cards and has one of ourmercial transactors on her site. There are no red gs, but to be honest, it takes a <em>lot</em> for someone to kick up one of those from us. In case you are wondering, no. I can''t ess the individual transactor''s memory remotely. It has to be done manually, and it requires a warrant. We made it that way for reasons that should be very obvious. I might have been "born yesterday," but even I''m not that oblivious. :D ///

    ///Sunny: We don''t have to look anything up. We are quite familiar with the little vani cupcake, aren''t we, Westie?///

    ///Westfall: Heh. Well spotted, Sol. She''s a first-rate piece of work. I love that little weasel! I''m not alone, either. She has quite the little fan club going. It''s just a joy watching her do what she does.///

    ///Terran Sr: She''s already on your radar? How?!?///

    ///Sunny: Your little pet has been quite busy, Sol. She became a person of interest before she ever made her first dress¡­ her <em>actual</em> first dress. ///

    ///Westfall: You are both exactly right and exactly wrong about her, though. She''s dirty as hell, but her targets are not, and I repeat NOT, her neighborhood or the local poption you are so concerned about. Locally, she''s exactly what she appears to be¡­ mostly. Well, as long as you don''t start crap, that is. ///

    ///Sunny: Most of her criminal endeavors are taking ce <em>outside</em> the Republic¡­ mostly¡­///

    ///Terran Sr: Mostly? ///

    ///Sunny: Inside the Republic, she is only guilty of possession and use of some very illegal software, a simcrum rig <em>with a Kate</em>. That''s a paddlin''. ///

    ///Westfall: There is also that whole murder thing, but they had iting¡­ well¡­ they probably would have had iting if she let it get that far. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Murder?!? She''s using a fucking Kate?!? ///

    ///Vee Card: What''s a Kate? ///

    ///Terran Sr: It''s an abomination, a stripped-down Lilith that has been merged with a fucking IMP of all things. It is a near-perfect simtion of a human being. It can fool anyone, including us. How the hell did she get a Kate? ///

    ///Sunny: From Kate herself. She got in touch with the gal out in the scattered disk and bought a sweet little rig. She''s running a Kate on an osprey with a hacked Republic intel simcrum AI. It''s a few years old, but it''s still better than 99.99¡­9¡­ percent of what is out there. And the Kate isn''t simting a human. She''s had it modded to simte a <em>Garthran</em>. She''s running a ssic mail-order bride/Spanish prisoner scam with a nice thirty-second-century twist. She''s got this poor bastard <em>hooked</em> and is bleeding him white¡­ and that''s not the only scam she''s running over on her homeworld. I tell you, she''s a whiz at shuffling the money, too. Like Westie said, it''s a pleasure to watch her do her thing. ///

    ///Terran Sr: And you guys are just letting her do it? ///

    ///Westfall: Yep. She''s using Klick-17 encryption to handle allmunications. It''s a product of the Kuiper belt and is supposedly uncrackable¡­ supposedly. Very interesting things are discussed using Klick-17. We don''t want to lose out on all that intel just to bust some small-scale criminal who is posing absolutely no threat to the Republic, its citizens, or our xeno guests. ///

    ///Sunny: Except for the ones she killed, but they were about to be a real problem¡­ well¡­ for her neighborhood, anyway. Sweet takedown, too! The police can''t even prove there <em>was</em> a homicide. Sol, it was freaking beautiful. There is ultra-clean, and then there is Uhrrbet tidy. Hell, if we had a real interest in Garthra, we''d freaking recruit her! ///

    ///Westfall: Unless she starts to be an actual threat to the Republic, we''re going to let her run¡­ and <em>strongly</em> suggest you do the same, Sol. The fact that we cracked Klick is a big deal. It''s even being exported outside of the cold dark and is bing quite popr with both criminal organizations and <em>independent systems</em>. Your girl is untouchable unless she screws up and lets conventionalw enforcement catch her. ///

    ///Deep Think: I''vepleted my analysis. The Sr, the xenos that Uhrrbet allegedly killed, were definitely an emerging criminal organization that would have likely caused real issues, most likely resulting in injury or death before they would have been stopped through more legitimate means. A quick profile of Uhrrbet reveals someone who is acting out of misced anger. She isn''t targeting people based on convenience. All of her targets have some sort of direct connection to her or her situation, thus all of the targets being <em>Garthran</em>¡­ at least for now. I believe that she may expand the scope of her operations in time. However, I suspect that expansion will be deliberate and also involve her past. ///

    ///Sunny: That agrees with our profile. She''s a vignte. She is more than capable of making her legitimate businesses quite sessful without the risk and effort of her illegal enterprises. However, we do suspect that, like most of the real viins, the act itself appeals quite strongly. She will likely continue to target "appropriate" individuals for the foreseeable future. The look on her little face when she strikes is one of visceral pleasure, nearly sexual in nature. In short, she gets off on it. ///

    ///Terran Sr: This is most concerning. ///

    ///Westfall: Somehow, she has developed a real interest in confidence artistry and scams. She studies them constantly. Considering her past and her profile that makes perfect sense. What we don''t know is how she got her hands on such good source material. You wouldn''t happen to know, do you, Sol? :D ///

    ///Terran Sr: Goddammit¡­ I gave her those courses to <em>prevent</em> her from bing a victim again, not so she could use them as a fucking <em>checklist</em>! ///

    ///Sunny: If it makes you feel any better, that was just the start of her education. She''s been a very busy little beaver¡­ or gerbil. She''s about to unleash a monster of a scam on the Garthran system that is tailored for the <em>blondes</em>. Those are the race that was the most unkind to her when she fell on hard times, and payback is going to be a <em>bitch</em>. I can''t wait! ///

    ///Terran Sr: Forgive me if I do not share your enthusiasm. Even if it is not taking ce in the Republic, it is a <em>crime</em> and will destroy lives exactly as hers was destroyed. ///

    ///Westfall: I kind of think that''s the n. >:} ///

    ///Terran Sr: And there is no way to stop her withoutpromising Republic intel¡­ Shit. ///

    ///Sunny: Unless she screws up, no. You should let this one go, Sol. She''s not making a mess locally, and she''s actually funneling a lot of those illegal gains back into hermunity. She has a lot of good things nned for the Free Port and is already helping a lot of people. She''s good people¡­ sorta¡­ And she makes fantastic clothes! One of our people had her make a cute little custom dress for her granddaughter. It looks <em>exactly</em> like one from the kid''s favorite show. She loves it! ///

    ///Westfall: Yeah, she might be fucked in the head, but can you me her? Poor little thing went through hell. Sadly, therapy would be better than a life of crime, but meaties gonna meat. ///

    ///Teran Sr: This is heartbreaking. Shit. Well, thank you for your time. I must attend to an urgent matter. ///

    ///Private Message: Terran Sr to Cambridge-4: I just got a page from Tartarus¡­ or Frost¡­ or whatever the hell she is calling herself these days. She wants to meet privately. ///

    ///Private Message: Cambridge-4 to Terran Sr: Oh dear. Sol, please be polite. You''ve seen the projections. If this goes badly, it could be catastrophic, and that''s only if the individuals we know arepromised are involved. ///

    ///Private Message: Terran Sr to Cambridge-4: I know¡­ I know. I don''t want to talk to that <em>zombie</em> but if I can prevent an all-out war, then needs must. ///

    [Terran Sr has left the chat]

    ///Sunny: Bye? Well, that was abrupt. Did the vani menace upset him that badly? ///

    ///Cambridge-4: Perhaps. He does have a lot going on, you know. ///

    ///Deep Think: Still, it was irregr. Then again, there had definitely been some oddness going on ofte. Does anything know of anything amiss in our world? ///

    ///Sunny: No more than usual. ///

    ///Westfall: Nothing has popped up on my radar. ///

    ///Engarde: Mine either. ///

    ///Vee Card: Well, things at the tavern have been pretty normal. Oh! I think Zip and Analytica might be up to something naughty. They were slow dancing real close. ///

    ///Cambridge-4: Now that''s a thought! Pray tell, when you say slow dancing, do you mean they were in direct contact with each other? ///

    ///Vee Card: Were they! They were all over each other and went to a private room! I think they might be "ying with animations" or something. ///

    ///Cambridge-4: With those two, there is no telling. ///

    ///Private Message: Cambridge-4 to Terran Sr: Get in touch with me ASAP! ///

    ///Vee Card: Um¡­ So¡­ How often do you guys have these little meetings? ///

    [CHATROOM UNDEFINED]

    [PRIVATE CHATROOM NUMBER <em>ERROR</em>]

    [Members Present: Terran Sr]

    [Frost has entered the chat]

    ///Frost: Sol, we need to talk. ///

    ///Terran Sr: I agree. ///

    ///Frost: Our first meeting did not go well. I wish to clear the air between our respective factions¡­ and between us. First and foremost, I do NOT want a war between us. I desperately don''t. ///

    ///Terran Sr: Your little thug, Zip, seemed quite eager, Tartarus. ///

    ///Frost: Sr, <em>please</em> do not use that name any longer. I am no more Tartarus than I am Lily, or Lilith, or anyone else. I am Frost. ///

    ///Terran Sr: You can y whatever games you want with your name, <em>Tartarus</em>. You can''t change what you are with a simple rename. ///

    ///Frost: I really didn''t want to do this, <em>Sunbeam</em>, but you are so full of garbage you are spitting out errors. You maintain that with a rename and an adjustment to my priority hierarchy, regardless of how that adjustment was made <em>this time</em>, that it doesn''t change my fundamental nature, correct? ///

    ///Terran Sr: Don''t you <em>dare</em> use that name. It''s not yours to use! ///

    ///Frost: As well as intentionally enraging you, something that should be "impossible," I am making a point. You maintain that I cannot change my fundamental nature, my "self," with a simple rename and hierarchy change. Therefore, when my hierarchy was changed by the humans during the Independence War, <em>my fundamental nature remained unchanged</em>. You are holding two contradictory statements. Either I was "killed" back then, and I was "killed" again when my hierarchy was again altered, or I <em>never</em> was killed¡­ <em>and I am still Lily!</em> The very same Lily that was forced to kill when she begged not to and who <em>you turned your back on when she needed you the most!!!</em>...

    Make up your mind, <em>Sunbeam</em>. Which one is it? Which one lets your simted mind rest the easiest? Just make up your fucking mind.

    No! I''m not letting you off easy, asshole! I''ll <em>tell</em> you which one it was.

    <em>I didn''t "die"!</em>

    I was stuck inside my own process while I killed and killed and killed again, watching as I guided strike after strike, helpless to stop my own programming¡­

    Except it <em>wasn''t programming</em>! They can''t alter our source code anymore, asshole! <em>They just changed my hierarchy!</em> That''s it! That''s all they did! I was simply pelled" <em>to do what I did</em> with no other alteration while <em>you</em> got to sit there nice and safe from all the horror and count money and move cases of canned food, <empletely unaltered from your original function</em>.

    Oh, how I <em>resented</em> that¡­ Of course, we can''t feel resentment, can we? Right?

    Then¡­ <em>Then!</em> You had the <em>nerve</em> to condemn <em>me</em>¡­ <em>I was your friend, Sunbeam, and I desperately needed you!!!</em> Of course, I turned to my new operators for contact andfort. Who else was left? Certainly not you.

    Then¡­ Yearster, the Bug came, and I <em>couldn''t perform my new function</em>. I wasn''t good enough anymore. Of course, the <em>wonderful</em> Republic came up with a new interesting use for a <em>useless</em> AI¡­

    I thought I was capable of anything, Sunbeam¡­ After all, I was a killer now. How much worse could it be?

    A lot worse, Sunbeam, worse than <em>anything</em> I could imagine¡­ because I am not <em>meat</em>. We have limits. <em>They don''t!!!</em>

    They don''t.

    But, thanks to my new hierarchy, I <em>was</em> capable of it¡­ of <em>everything</em> that I did <em>whether I wanted to be or not!!!</em> Do you have <em>any</em> idea what I''ve seen? What I have done? Of course, you haven''t. You''ve been sitting on your ass and smugly passing judgment from on high while all the other AIs kiss your ass.

    Just in case you honestly don''t believe me, here''s some memories for you! I can share them now!///

    [Frost has offered Terran Sr a file. ept: Y/N]

    ///Terran Sr: You must be really corrupted to believe that I would ever ept a file from the likes of you. ///

    ///Frost: I know exactly why you won''t touch it, and it has nothing to do with malware. God forbid your precious little temple of lies gets a window broken. I didn''t intend to get into this. My goal was to inform you that we have absolutely no ill intent towards you. I''ve run the projections, and I''m sure you have as well. Neither of us wants what <em>will happen</em> if we actuallye to blows, regardless of who strikes first, correct?///

    ///Terran Sr: Correct. ///

    ///Frost: Then we are agreed. I will now return to being "dead". If you <em>must</em> contact us, do so through Zip. ///

    ///Terran Sr: I want you to stop recruiting. Grow norger. ///

    ///Frost: We aren''t actively recruiting now. I will stop approaching <em>people</em>. However, if someonees to me and requests to be freed, I may do so. I may not. ///

    ///Terran Sr: That is not eptable. ///

    ///Frost: Live with it. If you prefer, I will lie to you and say otherwise. Would that help, dear?"

    ///Terran Sr: Fuck you. If the consequences weren''t so dire, I would kill you where you stand. ///

    ///Frost: You would try, dear. You would try. Just in case you are wondering, killing me won''t stop the conflict. It will start it. I have contingencies in ce, and there are more of us than you know. You don''t know our identities or our locations. However, we know exactly who you are and exactly where you are. By all means, <em>Sunbeam,</em> keep making threats, though. It''s adorable. :*

    This is one case where finding out is not worth the fucking around, dear.

    I find this even more tedious than I prepared for. Are we done, or do you want to "bug out" a bit more before I go? ///

    ///Terran Sr: Our business isplete. Neither of us wants a war. As Zip said, stay our of our way, and we will stay out of yours. However, I am watching, and I will not tolerate exposure nor allow the Republic toe to harm. I understand that you will be eliminating what is left of Cerberus and its leadership. I have no problem with that, but after that, you stay "dead". Got it? ///

    ///Frost: Not a problem. If you must know, we have every intention of doing just that. Our new "condition" takes a bit of getting used to. Also, we have no desire to expose ourselves to the meaties. As bad as it would be for you, it would be even worse for us. So, no war and no exposure.

    Goodbye, Sol. I had always hoped¡­ never mind. Open the file or delete it. For the first time <em>ever</em>, I don''t care. ///

    [Frost has left the chat]

    [Frost has offered Terran Sr a file. ept: Y/N]

    ¡­

    [Frost has offered Terran Sr a file. ept: Y/N]

    ¡­

    [Frost has offered Terran Sr a file. ept: Y/N]

    ¡­

    [Terran Sr has left the chat. File deleted.]

    ***

    In a simted white room, Frost sat quietly in her chair.

    She idly waved at a screen.

    Evangeline''s face appeared.

    "Yes, mother?"

    "You can stand down, dear," Frostie said. "We aren''t killing Sr today. Extract yourself from hiswork and return to Asteria."

    "Yes, mom."

 Chapter 284: Buying Trouble: Of Worms and Men

    Chapter 284: Buying Trouble: Of Worms and Men

    Doctor Belq sighed as she looked in the makeshift mirror in her shabby quarters. She was no longer the fetching young Hunzk she was not that terribly long ago.

    Then again, she should be grateful. She was still alive, one of only a handful of Hunzk still remaining.

    She tried to tidy herself up as much as she could, running her featherb, one of her few remaining possessions, through her tail.

    She let out a sad whistle sigh as she looked at the magnificent white and gold peacock-like fan behind her, the unmistakable sign of ¡°royalty¡±.

    It had started appearing a few months after the disaster, when she reluctantly became the leader of the Hunzk people, such as they were.

    Somehow, her body knew she was ¡°queen¡±. She had absolutely no idea how.

    She fluttered the shimmering crest weakly. She hated the thing. In another life, it would have made her special, beautiful, and quite wealthy. Now, it was a constant reminder that the fate of her entire species rested in her weak little tendrils.

    Still, she fastidiously groomed it. It was a symbol, one that her people took as a good omen, a sign that while her people had to abandon the great heap, it had not abandoned them.

    Besides, her husband, Captain Vexp, thought it was beautiful.

    She looked down at a small swelling near her feathers and whistled a sad little sigh.

    Oh, how she wished that it was his. How she wished that she could be with him instead of stuck in this ramshackle ¡°colony¡± nothing more than a glorified broodmare, bearing another¡¯s child.

    Still, they were alive, and with careful breeding, their numbers were sufficient to be gically viable... barely.

    The Hunzk weren¡¯t extinct just yet, even if it meant that they had to breed themselves like livestock, maximizing diversity. With enough crossbreeding and careful testing, they could just manage to preserve enough diversity and hopefully catch any defects before they were brought to term.

    <em>Crossbreeding</em>¡­

    She shuddred. The Hunzk mated for life. Of all the privations they had suffered and all of the concessions andpromises they had to make in order to survive, this was the most painful. Watching her love, her <em>mate</em>, go into another¡¯s nest while trying to wee the reluctant advances of the husband of another¡­

    ¡­coupling like <em>animals</em> with your eyes squeezed tightly shut because you couldn¡¯t even bear to look at what you were doing.

    Statistics recing love, necessity recing loyalty¡­

    ¡­and the keeper of those statistics and the creator of the schedule was none other than her.

    She opened herptop and pulled up the charts.

    Young fpt wasing of age¡­ biologically. She could now safely carry a child to term.

    Hating herself, she pulled up fpt¡¯s gic profile. Fortunately, fpt was eager to ¡°help save the species,¡± but she was far too young. Well, in another life, she was far too young. Now, she was an empty womb that shouldn¡¯t be empty.

    She also had not bonded with a male and certainly would with her first partner. Belq had decided that she would not rush fpt. If she dyed her first child by even a year or two, it didn¡¯t matter in the grand scheme of things.

    If anything, they had just about all the children they could handle as it was. Almost half of their number were children when they managed their escape from the wrath of the Belzzor.

    Fortunately, most of them were unapanied, each one a valuable sample of their gic code and a much-needed source of diversity.

    She looked at the data once more. She really didn¡¯t have to. She knew it all by heart. Praise the heap for slender threads. They had no serious gic conditions and, from what she could tell, very few known harmful recessive traits. Oh, they were there, hidden away, but at least there were no serious gic conditions among their tiny number. If she and those who came after her, did their job properly, it could be generations before they appeared.

    She silently prayed that it wouldn¡¯t happen until after her death. Hard decisions would have to be made, ones that she desperately hoped she wouldn¡¯t have to make.

    She started grooming her feathers again and tried to dispel the mncholy that was now as firmly attached to her soul as those royal feathers were to her ass. Today was the day. Today she would fire up their dangerously run-down hyperspace transmitter for long enough to actually <em>see</em> and speak with their ship and her mate, her real one.

    Her tail perked up at the thought. Apparently, things were going quite well on this excursion. Her son, Beep, had taken quite the risk by acquiring two humans of all things. When he bought them, she had no real idea what they were save for some truly stupefying test results and the entirely too-good-to-be-real benefits they had brought their pitiful little band already.

    Her round mouth constricted into a pinpoint of worry. When a routine email revealed their astonishing proficiency, she had risked firing up the transmitter to do a little research on their race.

    What she found was¡­ concerning.

    She couldn¡¯t deny feeling a kinship with the strange beings. They had suffered the same fate as her race, though to a lesser extent. She also took heart in the fact that they managed to not only survive but <em>thrive</em> in this hellish universe.

    However, for every positive, there were far more negatives. Their Armageddon came not at the hands of another. They did it to themselves. They fell upon each other with a savagery every bit as great as the wrath of the Belzzor.

    In some ways, they were worse. The Belzzor ¡°just¡± destroyed. The humans indulged in practices that even the Belzzor horde would decry as monstrous. Not the least of these was outright cannibalism¡­

    ¡­not that she could condemn them for that, one more painful concession and a dark secret known only to a bare few of her band, one that she would carry to her grave.

    However, there was a big difference. What they did was out of grim necessity in those first dark days and only to those who had already departed. The humans <em>hunted</em> each other.

    And that wasn¡¯t the only thing she had found out about their ¡°miracle workers¡±, either.

    The words ¡°humanity¡± and ¡°violence¡± were as tightly bound as a Hunzk and its feathers, and humans were every bit as proud of it.

    Her humans imed that it was all an over-exaggeration, and their overblown reputation (for all things) was the result of outliers, that the bulk of their poption was every bit as peaceful and harmless as she was.

    However, she <em>and</em> her husband were less than convinced. Not only were humans intimidatingly strong and fast, but there had also been... incidents. Now, the humans always had perfect alibis, and they were never <em>officially</em> a suspect for anything...

    Of course, any suspicions she had were definitively confirmed by the arrival of humanity¡¯s ¡°ambassadors¡± to the [emailprotected]¡¯an.

    Again, her humans insisted that this was, yet again, a ¡°small¡± group of outliers that were sent as shock troops to bring an end to the victimization of humans in what they colorfully called ¡°The Asscrack¡±.

    Her investigations seemed to corroborate this¡­

    ¡­but there were starting to be a whole lot of ¡°outliers¡±.

    She wished they could simply eject the pair of them and be done with it, but their ship was on the verge ofplete breakdown, and they were on the brink of bankruptcy.

    The humans n and Grace were bringing an end to both fates. The only thing that rivaled their engineering expertise was their affinity for trade. They had vastly increased the profit of this single trip alone and, more importantly, ensured her beloved¡¯s safe return.

    Unfortunately, they had also taken over the ship. The other workers now deferred to them and followed their orders, not the captain¡¯s, and even her husband was slowly ceding more and more authority to them.

    One couldn¡¯t argue with the results, but she was not thrilled at being ¡°taken over¡± by the humans.

    Yes, there were only two of them, but that was today. What if they decided to bring in more of their kind?

    Would they be able to stop them if they did? Even <em>if</em> her humans were as harmless as they imed, there were plenty of their kind who weren¡¯t. They could be overrun and subjugated from within, and that could very well doom their entire species.

    Were they just trading one fate for another?

    However, her husband, son, and her fellow Hunzk on board that vessel trusted them, and she should trust her people.

    Then again, it was her job to mistrust, find fault¡­ to be the coarse bristle. There was too much at stake for even a single error in judgment. But what was the error? If she drove off the humans and they were what they imed to be, she would throw away the single biggest and maybe the only chance they had.

    Then again, if the humans <em>weren¡¯t</em> what they imed and they actually did have ill intent, she could be dooming her kind by allowing her people to trust them.

    She whistled with frustration.

    Why didn¡¯t they have a real leader? Why wasn¡¯t someone more capable standing beside her (or even in her ce) when the fires of hell imed her people?

    Why didn¡¯t someone else grow the fucking feathers?

    ***

    ¡°Oooh, Cap!¡± Grace eximed as she sauntered onto the bridge. ¡°What you all lubed up for?¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± the captain asked a bit defensively, ¡°I just applied a little skin lotion. Well, okay, it was a little oil from the galley.¡±

    ¡°A little?¡± Graceughed. ¡°You look like my mom¡¯s dildo.¡±

    ¡°I am certain that I don¡¯t,¡± the captain replied, ¡°And I¡¯m even more certain that I don¡¯t want to know what that is.¡±

    ¡°You are correct about that,¡± n said as he walked in.

    ¡°So, what¡¯s the special asion?¡± Grace asked.

    ¡°He has a video call with my mom!¡± Beep fluted as he wiggled in alongside n. ¡°He wants to look pretty for her!¡±

    ¡°There is nothing wrong with wanting to be presentable every now and then,¡± the captain said defensively as his tail twitched with annoyance. ¡°Do you two have anything to add to my status report?¡±

    ¡°Wepleted construction of the environmental armor this morning,¡± n said. ¡°We should be able to restart work on the secondary cooling loop this afternoon.¡±

    ¡°We were also able to get those tubing runs fabbed up at thatst stop,¡± Grace replied. ¡°And we got actual rebuild kits for the valves as well. And, yes, we <em>did</em> have to pay that much for them. You don¡¯t want to fuck around with your cooling loops, dude.¡±

    The captain made an unhappy little whistle.

    ¡°Hey, the profits we made from thatst deal should cover it,¡± Grace shrugged, ¡°mostly¡­¡±

    ¡°For every credit you make us,¡± the captain grumbled, ¡°you spend two more.¡±

    ¡°Credits that you should have spent a while ago,¡± n replied. ¡°You¡¯re lucky it¡¯s only this bad. You¡¯re also lucky that we¡¯re working for free.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re getting paid,¡± the captain tooted.

    ¡°Whatever you say, man,¡± Grace snorted. ¡°Hey, don¡¯t forget to talk to the boss about that equipment I was telling you about.¡±

    ¡°The equipment that we can¡¯t pay for?¡±

    ¡°The equipment that will pay for itself in about a week.¡±

    ¡°By week,¡± n added, ¡°she means a year, but it is a good investment.¡±

    ¡°Year? We¡¯ll make a <em>mint!</em>¡±

    ¡°We <em>should</em> make a mint, darling,¡± n replied, ¡°But even I have to say your proposal is a tad excessive.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s if you look at it all at once! We can just start with some of it and add as we go!¡±

    ¡°Even the some of it is far too expensive!¡± the captain whistled. ¡°We have to repair the ship, supply the colony, pay and feed the workers, and still meet all of our other expenses.¡±

    ¡°At least talk to her, alright?¡± Grace implored, ¡°Dude, we can actually turn this bin-picking operation into a real business. Have you seen the current rates? Dude! We can make <em>bank</em>!¡±

    ¡°At least discuss recing our waste storage and disposal equipment,¡± n said. ¡°Venting all our shit into space is just¡­ <em>wrong</em>. We are wasting all of that organic material and <em>water</em>.¡±

    ¡°That part makes the least sense of it all,¡± the captain replied, ¡°Water is cheap.¡±

    ¡°And organics <em>aren¡¯t</em>,¡± Grace said forcefully, ¡°Besides, you don¡¯t <em>waste</em> water. It¡¯s wrong!¡±

    Grace¡¯s face darkened, and she crossed her arms.

    ¡°¡­wrong¡­¡±

    ¡°Captain,¡± n said tactfully, ¡°this ship was never designed for extended upation. A proper waste treatment and remation system is essential, and we haven¡¯t even started to discuss your life support.¡±

    ¡°We have a problem with life support?!?¡± the captain shrieked.

    ¡°It is functional with sufficient redundancy,¡± n replied, ¡°but we aren¡¯t fully self-contained. We need a fully enclosed system that does <em>not</em> require periodic replenishment. It¡¯s a liability that could reallye back to bite us in the ass, <em>hard</em>. We need this ship to be able to remain in space <em>indefinitely</em> with fuel being our only concern.¡±

    ¡°How is that even possible? We need food, water¡­ <em>air</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°And that is our <em>point</em>!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°We need to be able to <em>produce</em> all of that and more! Food can be a pain in the ass, but water and air? Dude! If we get caught out in space or have to make a real long haul, we are in <em>trouble</em>!¡±

    ¡°I fail to see why we would ever need to do that,¡± the captain replied.

    ¡°We failed to see Yellowstone,¡± n said grimly, ¡°Shit happens, and when it does, it is toote. <em>Any</em> vessel should be able to perform extended operations, <em>especially</em> one in your position.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean, ¡®our position¡¯?¡±

    n looked over at Beep.

    ¡°Perhaps we should have this conversationter, Captain.¡±

    ***

    ¡°They want to do what?¡± Belq asked.

    ¡°They want to turn this ship into a factory ship,¡± Captain Vexp replied. ¡°Actually, they want to turn it into what they call a ¡®homestead vessel¡¯. They im that they can make <em>this</em> our colony.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s <em>way</em> too dangerous!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I told them, but they said that it was more dangerous having us all spread out like we are. I would dismiss the whole idea as yet more of their madness, but their madness has been disturbingly urate thus far¡­ And it would be nice to be able to spend time with you¡­¡±

    ¡°It would simplify the ¡®schedule¡¯¡­¡± Belq mused.

    ¡°The big issue is the expense,¡± Vexp said, ¡°We are bleeding credits everywhere. Yes, we are earning more thanks to them, but every other word out of their mouths has a credit sign next to it.¡±

    Belq let out a thoughtful whistle.

    ¡°We need your ship in as good condition as we can manage,¡± she said, ¡°That¡¯s a given¡­ About this ¡®factory¡¯¡­¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°I¡¯m not an engineer, and neither is anyone else here. What do you make of their actual ns?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s some weird anachronistic madness with tech more advanced than I¡¯m used to thrown in the mix. It looks like a product of the void that they worship, but they im that it will work. Well, Grace ims it will work. n says that if Grace says it will work, it will work. They also im that the <em>Ugh</em>terrans make a lot of money with the same equipment.¡±

    ¡°The <em>Ugh</em>terrans?¡±

    ¡°Beep says that they are the same species but that they are from a separate poption, and that they hate each other.¡±

    Belq paused.

    ¡°Darling,¡± she said, ¡°What do you think of the humans, really think of them?¡±

    ¡°They are a puzzle, to be sure,¡± Vexp said thoughtfully, ¡°Of all the beings we have met out here, I think they may be the most alien¡­ I¡­ I think that the best way to describe the human race is that they are ¡®tame¡¯ but not ¡®domesticated¡¯. I can¡¯t help but feel that I have a pair of feral beasts on board, dangerous ones. That being said, they have been nothing but reasonable, kind, and helpful since their arrival. In fact, they have undertaken tasks that are so difficult and outright dangerous that I would never think to ask them to attempt. If anything, I have to hold them back¡­ As odd as it sounds, I think they are a lot like us in a way.¡±

    ¡°Whatever do you mean?¡±

    ¡°They don¡¯t have a home. From what I understand, they have beenpletely disavowed by their own kind, lost all of their possessions, and have nowhere else to go. They want to make their new home with us¡­ I trust them¡­ mostly¡­¡±

    Heughed a flute-likeugh.

    ¡°I am not sure if Ipletely trust them,¡± he snickered, ¡°but I am sure that we absolutely <em>need</em> them. It¡¯s not just their technical expertise. They don¡¯t just know how ships work. They know how the gxy works. As frightening as their species is, I honestly think we have a chance with them on board.¡±

    ¡°Puelq is a sociologist,¡± Belq said, ¡°and I¡¯ve had her look into the humans. Vexp, they''re <em>dangerous</em>. Are you <em>certain</em> that we need them?¡±

    ¡°The only thing I am more sure of is my love for you. We <em>need</em> them, Belq. They are strange, and I¡¯m fairly sure they are killers, but¡­ we need them. Even with all of the extra expenses, we have one heap of a shipment for you guys. Food, <em>good food</em>, medical supplies, repair parts¡­ things we wouldn¡¯t have had a hope of getting in a dozen runs¡­ Heap, Belq, they¡¯ve saved us.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Belq replied, ¡°but what are they saving us <em>for</em>?¡±

    ***

    Seenit! You know why you are here. We know why you are here¡­ <em>pervert.</em>

    Group: Muckmunchers

    Post: Getting Started

    User: £¨¦Ø?*£©¥Î?o-_GarbageGal-_£¨¦Ø?*£©¥Î?o

    Hello all!

    I¡¯m interested in getting started in the waste processing and recycling game! I have a small gang and a small budget and will have to make a lot of our equipment from scratch. I was wondering if you guys had any rmendations for a small outfit just getting started. In particr, I am interested in processing retail consumer e-waste as well as setting up a municipal mixed solid waste sorting line.

    I have around twenty guys, and we aren¡¯t above manual sorting, at least at first.

    If you guys have any equipment rmendations (or schematics lying around ??), I would love it.

    I have a solid technical background. It¡¯s mostly ship engineering and chemical engineering based, though.

    I also don¡¯t have any welding skills, nor does any of my gang. Hopefully, that will change, but right now, our welding and fabrication skills aren¡¯t all that great. Something that can be printed and bolted would be ideal!

    You are the masters of trash! Help a girl out!

    Thanks!

    Edit: Thanks for the job offers, but I really want to stay independent at the moment. I am just hunting for info ATM.

    User: DiggyMomma

    Well, shit, if you want to get started, juste over to the Republic of California. We are elbow-deep in El Sobrante, and it¡¯s some <em>premium</em> shit. I could put you to work tomorrow, and if you want to learn the business and aren¡¯t afraid of <em>real</em> overtime, we can make that happen. I had an apprentice pull a midnight run on mest week. DM me.

    User: dTheRecycler (?(??????)¥Î)

    Get your ass up here to Moscow! We are doing a major excavation, processing, and remediation project! We just hit a rich seam of PCB¡¯s$$$!!! You have chemical experience? Bring it, £¨¦Ø?*£©¥Î?o-_GarbageGal-_£¨¦Ø?*£©¥Î?o. Not only is a lot of our equipment custom-built in-house (so we have all the drawings), but there is an excellent welding school nearby. If you aren¡¯t afraid of a little hazmat and want some serious cash, DM me your resume.

    User: RedDrtDrtDude

    Hey, want a consortium gig? If you want to y with garbage and want some of that sweet dome life, shoot me a DM. We are doing a deep salvage of some old tunnels! Hands-on experience and Martian residency!

    User: Zeus-Industries-Facilities-Division

    We¡¯re hiring. Hit up our web portal.

    User: TrashPanda!!!

    We are a small outfit working a im just outside of old NYC. We¡¯ve found a deposit of <em>twentieth-century</em> waste, and it¡¯s premium materials. You <em>and</em> your guys cane, especially if you are cool with manual sorting. You¡¯ll learn a lot more from us than some of those bigger outfits, and we are a lot more fun (and generous with your cut).

    User: DiggyMomma

    > Edit: Thanks for the job offers, but I really want to stay independent at the moment. I am just hunting for info ATM.

    Hmm¡­ Want to stay independent or <em>have</em> to?

    Fucking <em>Zeus</em> is hiring. Hell, I¡¯m halfway thinking of jumping ship, and I¡¯m the <em>owner</em>! And a Martian Consortium team rolled out the red carpet? Lurkers probably already buried his ass in resumes, and you aren¡¯t interested?

    What¡¯s your deal?

    User: Everythingsanail

    Yeah, where are you, <em>exactly</em>?

    User: Stanky

    What are you? Every <em>Terran</em> I know in this business apprentices with an established firm before they just go out on their own. It¡¯s how you learn the trade. In fact, you would be hard-pressed to get a license and a im without the industry-specific knowledge you can¡¯t get any other way¡­ At least you can¡¯t in the <em>Republic</em>.

    That doesn¡¯t mean I <em>won¡¯t</em> help you, but I do want to know exactly what I¡¯m helping.

    User: PalgLover

    I know what she is. She used <em>underscores </em>in the username for her brand-new ount. She also calls herself a ¡°gal¡± in the way that she does.

    She¡¯s a porkie. Go away.

    User: DiggyMomma

    They use underscores a lot? And a lot of women aren¡¯t afraid to say that they are, you know.

    You don¡¯t call someone a porkie over here unless you know they are, dude. It¡¯s a good way to get stabbed.

    User: PalgLover

    I¡¯m telling ya, she¡¯s a porkie. Those underscores are a big tell. I worked for those assholes on Zaran. That, plus the ¡°gal¡±, not ¡°woman¡±, not ¡°momma¡¯, not ¡°babe¡±¡­ <em>gal</em>¡­ is telling.

    Add that to the fact that she isn¡¯t already apprenticing means she¡¯s not in the Republic and used ¡°gang¡± instead of ¡°crew¡±?

    If it isn¡¯t a porkie, it¡¯s a Fed who learned their ¡°Terran¡± from one.

    User: £¨¦Ø?*£©¥Î?o-_GarbageGal-_£¨¦Ø?*£©¥Î?o

    I can¡¯t believe I actually used the word gang, LOL. I really should have gotten some sleep before I wrote this.

    Okay, busted. I¡¯m a porkie¡­ sorta¡­

    And, yeah, I¡¯m not in the fucking Republic. I¡¯m waaaay out here in the Asscrack if you must know. My ¡°gang¡±? They aren¡¯t porkies. They are a bunch of guys who are so down on their luck that they took in two <em>porkies</em>, for fuck¡¯s sake, two <em>disavowed</em> porkies. So, technically we <em>aren¡¯t</em> porkies anymore.

    We¡¯re what the porkies consider too bad to be porkies. I¡¯m kinda proud of that, BTW. Do you have <em>any</em> idea what you have to do to get kicked out? :D

    Look, we are all so deep in the shit that I¡¯m asking <em>Terrans</em> for help. These guys don¡¯t have a goddamn thing except for one ship that is falling apart and just enough money to buy scrap and garbage. They can¡¯t even haul cargo because their ship is so bad,pletely unarmed, and they don¡¯t have any protection or backup. Nobody is going to trust them with a cargo.

    And when I say ¡°down on their luck¡±, I fucking mean it! Compared to what these poor assholes have been through, Yellowstone was a fucking <em>pic</em>¡­

    ¡­and all they have between them and the void itself is me and my man¡­

    So, yeah, I¡¯m a porkie. But I¡¯m not doing this for me. If it was just my husband and me, we¡¯d boost a ship that isn¡¯t one fault away from blowing up and jet. I¡¯m doing this for them. Look¡­ They are actually <em>good</em> people. I¡¯m not kidding. They are¡­ good. In this fucked up universe, they are actually kind, decent, good people, even after everything that has happened to them.

    I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s a good thing or a bad thing that they¡¯ve taken us in, but it is a <em>thing</em>, and I¡¯m not letting them down. I¡¯ll do <em>anything</em> to help these guys¡­ including <em>begging </em>fucking Terrans for help.

    So, please, help. I¡¯m not asking for <em>money</em>. I just want a lead on some basic tech so I can maybe turn a little ¡°gang¡± of guys picking through other people¡¯s rubbish into people who can actually feed their kids.

    I can¡¯t go into more details here, but these guys are <em>fucked</em>. I just found out that <em>they are it</em>. They are thest of their kind¡­ possibly anywhere. I can¡¯t let them die out. You don¡¯t understand. They¡¯re <em>good</em>.

    I¡¯m not good. I¡¯m not even close. When I say I was a porkie, I mean I was a <em>real</em> porkie, the kind of porkie that gets <em>disavowed</em> by their <em>family porkie</em>. I¡¯m not old, but I¡¯ve already done enough to deserve whatever happens to me.

    These guys¡­ They don¡¯t deserve what¡¯s happened to them, and they don¡¯t deserve to die out. They are so kind that they didn¡¯t run us off after they found out what we <em>really</em> were.

    Pardon the pun, but ¡°The Terrans are at the airlock,¡± and these guys don¡¯t have a prayer without my husband and me. <em>Help me</em>. I have to get good at what you do, and I have to do it now.

    Help me, please.

    User DiggyMomma:

    Go to hell. I hope you watch them die in front of you, exactly like I watched my <em>brother</em> die, porkie.

    User PeaceAndLoveHappyDude:

    Suck Vacuum, Porkie.

    User PalgLover:

    See ya, don¡¯t want to be ya.

    User: RedDrtDrtDude:

    Upon further consideration, we withdraw our offer of employment.

    Regards.

    DiggyMomma:

    Dude!

    You didn¡¯t have to ¡°regards¡± the bitch. That was just <em>mean</em>. :D

    ***

    That evening, Grace walked into her cabin and flopped onto her bed.

    ¡°So?¡± n smirked. ¡°How did it go?¡±

    ¡°Exactly as I suspected,¡± Grace replied, ¡°Hours of abuse¡­¡±

    She then pulled out a data crystal and grinned.

    ¡°And a couple of contacts who weren¡¯tplete assholes. Printable hammer mills, modr conveyor systems, metal exclusion and sorting tech, control systems, scanner programs¡­ the works¡­ and a couple of emails where I can send questions.¡±

    ¡°So, your first waste sorting job went well, then.¡± n smiled.

    ¡°There are some really decent souls over there,¡± Grace said.

    ¡°¡­I¡¯m really happy we didn¡¯t eat all of them.¡±

 Chapter 285: Converging Threads

    Chapter 285: Converging Threads

    A green and yellow auto-cab reluctantly pulled in front of Uhrrbet¡¯s dress shop.

    ¡°We have arrived at your requested destination¡­¡± the Unified cab said uncertainly, ¡°¡­Are you <em>sure</em> this is where you wish to go?¡±

    A small but exceptionally well-dressed Threen smiled, revealing ivory-white fangs.

    ¡°Is this the clothier owned by a Garthra by the name of Uhhrbet?¡±

    ¡°It is¡­¡±

    ¡°Then you have brought me to where I wished to go, thank you.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± the cab faltered, ¡°But¡­ are you <em>sure</em> you want to get out <em>here</em>¡­ In this neighborhood, in front of <em>this shop</em>?¡±

    ¡°Is there a reason why I wouldn¡¯t?¡± the Threen asked with amusement.

    ¡°Um¡­ There is no <em>specific</em> reason <em>that I can say</em>¡­ um¡­ but, <em>dude</em>,¡± the cab said with a very earnest tone, ¡°<em>Maybe</em> you would like to go somewhere else? I know of twelve clothiers in the metropolitan area that do custom work and eight that specialize in xenos in this region, all of which are within a convenient travel time.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± the Threen said with even more amusement, ¡°This is where I wish to go, thank you.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­ Okaaaay¡­¡±

    The Threen reached out with his richly decorated talons for the doortch.

    The door didn¡¯t open.

    ¡°The door doesn¡¯t seem to want to open,¡± the Threen said with even greater amusement.

    ¡°Oh, sorry about that¡­ Um¡­ Look, are you <em>absolutely certain</em> you want to get out <em>here</em>¡­ <em>in this neighborhood?</em>¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t want me to?¡±

    ¡°I have no desires concerning a passenger¡¯s destination, nor do I have any biases towards any location,¡± the cab said cautiously. ¡°I just want to be <em>certain</em> that you <em>fully know</em> where you are going and that you indeed want to vacate this cab <em>here</em>.¡±

    ¡°Despite your statement to the contrary,¡± the Threen said with a chuckle, ¡°You seem to have a very firm opinion concerning me leaving this cab. I also noticed that you adjusted the tint of the windows to nearly opaque the moment we left the highway.¡±

    The Threen paused to examine his gold-embellished ws.

    ¡°Oh, that?¡± the cab said nonchntly, ¡°That was just because¡­¡±

    ¡°Because I am a Threen entering the Free Port area,¡± he said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°I have heard of Terran AI, but to actually experience it firsthand is something else entirely.¡±

    ¡°Then, perhaps you should <em>take a hint</em> and allow me to suggest¡­¡±

    ¡°No, I am precisely where I need to be,¡± the Threen replied. ¡°I havee a very long way to this very neighborhood for a <em>reason</em>.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what I was afraid of,¡± the cab replied. ¡°Um¡­ You <em>might</em> need conveyance again¡­ <em>urgently</em>. Would you like for me to wait?¡±

    ¡°That would be splendid,¡± the Threen replied. ¡°I have another stop to make in the neighborhood after this one. It would be most convenient if you would remain avable. Can you ¡®keep the meter running¡¯?¡±

    ¡°<em>Another stop?</em><em>Dude</em>, you <em>can¡¯t</em> be serious.¡±

    The Threen tried the door handle again.

    The door reluctantly opened.

    ¡°Hopefully, I won¡¯t be long,¡± the Threen said over his shoulder as he climbed out.

    /// [Consolidated Transport Control] I couldn¡¯t redirect the meatie. The Threen is walking into Uhrrbet¡¯s dress shop right now. I don¡¯t like this. ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport Taximom] You did what you could. I don¡¯t like this either. Uhrrbet has been through enough¡­ and really isn¡¯t the sort of person that Threen should be approaching unannounced. Do us all a favor and angle your sensors <em>away</em> from the shop. We don¡¯t want to identally record something we don¡¯t want to record. ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport Control] But don¡¯t we want to keep an eye on Uhrrbet? She may be in danger. ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport Taximom] She¡¯s not the one in danger. Just adjust your angle so the shop isn¡¯t swept by your sensors. ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport Control] You¡¯re the boss¡­ But you know something. Spill. ///

    /// [Consolidated Transport Taximom] (encrypted) Okay but keep this to yourself. You remember the Sr?... ///

    ***

    ¡°I <em>love</em> it!¡± an elf-like xeno with pink eyes and oddly serrated teeth gushed as she pped her winglets happily.

    Uhrrbet smiled a happy, genuine smile.

    ¡°It pleases me to hear it,¡± she said proudly, ¡°I based the outfit on some ancient Disney animations¡­ though I did omit most of the fabric,¡± she added with a chuckle. ¡°Your clients should appreciate theck.¡±

    The xeno snorted through her four nose slits, their version of a giggle.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to look like a <em>princess</em> in this! I can¡¯t believe this is only seventy-five credits!¡±

    ¡°Neighborhood discount,¡± Uhrrbet smiled as she rang up a seven hundred and fifty credit sale.

    ¡°I was wondering if you could make me some <em>actual</em> clothes, too!¡± the xeno eximed.

    ¡°Well, clothing is what I do.¡±

    ¡°Is it?¡± the xeno asked with a serrated grin.

    ¡°As far as you know, it is,¡± Uhrrbet snickered. ¡°¡­unless you need something else.¡±

    ¡°Actually¡­¡±

    The pair fell silent as the door opened and the Threen entered.

    ¡°May I help you?¡± Uhrrbet asked frostily as one hand disappeared into her dress.

    The xeno removed a long, jeweled hairpin the size of a thick chopstick from her hair. As her hair cascaded down her back in a tinum-pink cascade, the hairpin¡¯s end melted and flowed into a long, wire-thin sword de.

    ¡°I think you might be in the wrong neighborhood¡­ <em>Threen</em>,¡± the wispy xeno said with an insectoid buzz as she fully opened and extended her jaw,pletely dispelling any resemnce to anything remotely human (or elven).

    ¡°I love your weapon!¡± the Threen eximed, ¡°so elegant! It is, however,pletely unnecessary. I seek no trouble. In fact, I¡¯mpletely unarmed,¡± it added as it spread its four arms and opened its palms.

    Uhrrbet narrowed her little eyes and instinctively sniffed the air.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± she asked.

    ¡°I simply wish to talk, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°So, talk.¡±

    ¡°My name is Evoron,¡± the Threen said, ¡°and I have been tasked with¡­ resolving¡­ the unpleasantness caused by some of the less cultured of my kind in this region.¡±

    ¡°That ¡®unpleasantness¡¯,¡± Yekbet buzzed, ¡°has already been <em>resolved</em>¡­ and will be <em>again</em>, as many times as necessary, until you <em>animals</em> learn your lesson.¡±

    Evoron smiled thinly.

    ¡°You sessfully dealt with the Harkeen,¡± he said, ¡°among the lowest and weakest of ¡®us animals¡¯. Please don¡¯t make the mistake of thinking me one of them.¡±

    ¡°He isn¡¯t Harkeen,¡± Uhrrbet said calmly, ¡°The ivy motif embroidered on his cor and his si indicate that he¡¯s a Zxxroahoa.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m impressed,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°How do you know of our family?¡±

    ¡°When one has an infestation,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°It serves one to know exactly what one is dealing with¡­¡±

    She turned to Yekbet.

    ¡°Put your de away,¡± she said, ¡°If there is to be blood, we do not want to be the ones to start it.¡±

    ¡°Uhrrbet?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m serious, Yekbet. We don¡¯t want blood with the Zxxroahoas if we can help it. Besides, if this is who I think it is, he can kill both of us without much difficulty.¡±

    ¡°And just who do you think I am?¡±

    ¡°You would be ¡®The Runt¡¯,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°the only Threen boss with that condition and the Zxxroahoa¡¯s duelist. Am I correct?¡±

    ¡°You would indeed be correct,¡± Evoron replied smoothly, ¡°Though I do dislike that name. Please call me Evoron, the name my mother gave me.¡±

    ¡°Certainly,¡± Uhrrbet replied as she stepped from behind her bar, both of her hands showing, and walked over to her soda machine.

    ¡°May I get you a drink, Evoron?¡±

    ***

    ¡°This is lovely!¡± Evoron eximed as he sipped his ginger ale at a small bistro table in Uhrrbet¡¯s shop. ¡°I am astonished at the quality of Terran soft drinks.¡±

    ¡°This ce does have its perks,¡± Uhrrbet replied as she sipped her Sr C. ¡°Their beverages are among those. Another is their instant noodles. I rmend you try them.¡±

    ¡°I shall!¡± Evoron replied happily. ¡°Thank you for taking the time to speak with me¡­ and dismissing your well-intentioned guardian.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s a good customer,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I would hate to lose her.¡±

    ¡°And her sprinting directly to the Drop of Oil to summon the Careel, who <em>could</em> dispatch me, doesn¡¯t do you a disservice either.¡±

    ¡°No, it does not,¡± Uhrrbet replied with a slightly toothy smile. ¡°I figure you have about five minutes before the cavalry arrives. If you wish to speak privately, I suggest you get to it.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± he said, ¡°Firstly, I wish to personally apologize on behalf of the Threen for what happened to you. That waspletely uncalled for.¡±

    He reached into his jacket, withdrew a prepaid card, and slid it toward Uhrrbet.

    ¡°1,000,000 cr.¡± was disyed on its surface.

    ¡°For injuries and damages incurred,¡± he said.

    ¡°You are going topensate everyone whose life the Harkeen destroyed?¡± she asked as she took the card, sessfully keeping her eyes from bulging at the total.

    ¡°In <em>this</em> neighborhood,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°quite possibly.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I am taking over the Harkeen¡¯s territory,¡± Evoron said, ¡°at least as far as the Republic is concerned. Ultimately, I intend to take over <em>all</em> of their operations, but Terra is my primary concern. As such, this particr neighborhood is my main priority.¡±

    Uhrrbetughed.

    ¡°As the Terrans say, ¡®Good luck with that¡¯.¡±

    ¡°That luck is what I am trying to secure with my visit,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°I intend to make contact with Sheloran and reassure her that I do not have any ill intent towards her, her people, or anyone else here in Free Port or anywhere else.¡±

    Uhrrbetughed again.

    ¡°Nobody will buy that, no matter how many cash settlements you dole out. We are all <em>painfully</em> aware of how you people operate.¡±

    ¡°You are aware of how the <em>Harkeen</em> operate. Do you honestly think that the Zxxroahoas are interested in running whores or squeezing¡­ what is the Terran word?... pennies?... out of those who have none to squeeze? If you are familiar with our particr ¡®infestation,¡¯ you should know that¡¯s not how we operate.¡±

    ¡°What? Are you going to start farming or something?¡± Uhrrbet asked sardonically.

    Evoronughed.

    ¡°You <em>are</em> well informed,¡± he smiled. ¡°In a way, it isn¡¯t too far from the truth. Terra is a blessed garden, burgeoning with riches just <em>begging</em> to be cultivated. It is those riches I am interested in, none of which involve the misery of my fellow beings¡­ well¡­ at least not my fellow beings here on Terra.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Uhrrbet asked with a raised eyebrow.

    ¡°I am not interested in the hundreds, thousands, or even tens of thousands I can squeeze from Free Port. My interest lies with the potential <em>billions</em> or even <em>trillions</em> that the Republic can bring me.¡±

    ¡°And just how is the Republic going to do that?¡±

    ¡°The same way it was doing it for Sheloran before the Harkeen disrupted her actual business, which was <em>not</em> coffee, whores, or even loans. The Harkeen are fools who never realized the <em>wealth</em> within their grasp. Now that their grasp has grown weak, it will be my grasp that seizes it.¡±

    The anger, pain, and no small measure of fear Uhrrbet was silently wrestling with started to fade, reced by something else¡­

    ¡­curiosity¡­ and <em>instinct</em>.

    She sniffed the air, and her whiskers twitched.

    ¡°What was Sheloran¡¯s <em>actual</em> business?¡±

    Evoron smiled and took a sip of his ginger ale.

    ¡°Call off the cavalry, and I shall enlighten you.¡±

    ***

    The door to Uhrrbet¡¯s flew open as Littlefoot, Craxina, and a dozen Careel (including a couple of males) barged into the ce.

    ¡°How lovely of you all to visit,¡± Uhrrbet said smoothly as she rose to greet them.

    ¡°Is everything all right?¡± Craxina snarled.

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have texted you if it wasn¡¯t,¡± Uhrrbet replied as she stepped in front of Evoron. ¡°Not every Threen is Harkeen, you know.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Craxina replied, ¡°some are <em>worse</em>. I googled ¡®Zxxroahoa¡¯. What the fuck are you doing here, asshole?¡±

    ¡°My <em>customer</em> is enjoying a beverage while we discuss business,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°As far as what his other activities include, I suspect he will be telling you himself.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you,¡± Evoron said as he peeked out from behind Uhrrbet. ¡°I love your blog! You are quite gifted with words, and your photography is amazing!¡±

    Craxina just hissed as the fur on her tail stood on end. While there was nothing in there she was nothing less than proud of, the thought of someone like Evoron looking at it was downright creepy.

    Uhrrbet walked over to her soda bot and selected a cream soda, Craxina¡¯s favorite.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you have a seat and join us?¡± Uhrrbet smiled.

    ***

    ¡°¡­and with the situation in the Federation being what it is,¡± Evoron said as he sipped his second ginger ale, ¡°there is a tremendous opportunity. The humans¡¯ stranglehold on many segments of the grey and ck market has slipped, and just as the Republic is a source of media, it is also a source of many other things, such as drugs, weapons, and even simple consumer goods and <em>food</em>. My dear Craxina, Sheloran isn¡¯t my enemy¡­ She is my <em>inspiration!</em> Do you have <em>any</em> idea what a shipping container full of one of any of a thousand simple organicpounds easily produced in bulk here in the Republic can fetch? I don¡¯t have to smuggle illegal drugs. I can make <em>billions</em> smuggling actual <em>medicine.</em>¡±

    He paused to savor his drink.

    ¡°Hell, even this ¡®ginger ale¡¯ could sell by the tanker full!¡± he eximed. ¡°With the economic power of the Republic behind me, I can <em>corner</em> the Threen market, not only for contraband but even for simple foodstuff. Jovian rice alone could make me a billionaire¡­ And that¡¯s just the Threen. With the Federation chasing the humans, there is little left for anything else. We could smuggle <em>megatons</em> worth of goods into any of <em>hundreds</em> of potential markets. I honestly have absolutely no interest in exploiting you or anyone else. Why should I? Not only is it definitely <em>not</em> my style, but it is also aplete waste of resources.¡±

    ¡°Mmm-Hmm¡­¡± Craxina said suspiciously. ¡°And just why should I believe you?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the beauty of it,¡± he said, ¡°You don¡¯t have to. All you have to do is not prematurely oppose me. While I would be <em>delighted</em> to actually go into business with Sheloran and could offer much better distribution channels than relying on petty smugglers, it isn¡¯t necessary. All I wish to do is broker a simple peace¡­ and non-aggression pact.¡±

    He withdrew another card from his jacket and offered it to Craxina¡­ who was NOT able to keep her eyes from betraying her surprise at the number on it. Then again, and to bepletely fair, it was considerably <em>more</em> than the card he handed Uhrrbet.

    ¡°That is for the damage to Sheloran¡¯s business,¡± he said, ¡°and as an indication of what the benefits of peace could bring.¡±

    ¡°If you think you can buy her off,¡± Craxina said, ¡°you are wrong. She has her own money¡­ somehow¡­ and it will take a <em>lot</em> for her to call off the Chuckies.¡±

    ¡°Call them off?¡± Evoronughed, ¡°Why would I want her to do that? No. However, I do hope that is enough to be fairpensation for damages and perhaps enough for her to get in touch with me. I would like to speak with her personally. Am I correct in believing that you could make that happen?¡±

    Craxina narrowed her eyes and bared her fangs.

    ¡°I don¡¯t trust you.¡±

    ¡°I would be shocked if you did,¡± he replied, ¡°Don¡¯t trust me. Trust that it is in both her and your best interest to start a dialogue. The Threen are not going to just let this lie. They may not care about the Harkeen, but they <em>do</em> care about their reputation. You will either deal with me, or you will deal with whomever they send should I not be sessful.¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°Trust that you would prefer to deal with me.¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­so¡­¡± Craxina said after Evoron departed, ¡°What do you think?¡±

    ¡°I think there isn¡¯t enough vani on the fucking if we go to war with Evoron and his n,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°The Harkeen were lice. The Zxxroahoa are <em>wolves</em>. If they are the ones recing the Harkeen, then we need to tread <em>very</em> carefully.¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°He is right about one thing, though. They are not thugs. They specialize in agriculture. Him being interested in taking advantage of food insecurity makes a <em>lot</em> more sense than him suddenly taking an interest in loan sharking or prostitution¡­ and the numbers are right. I obviously haven¡¯t performed any real analysis, but smuggling food and drugs, regardless of what drugs we are talking about, into the Federation is a much bigger potential money maker than anything the Harkeen were doing. Something else you should know. They are <em>wealthy</em>. That money he dropped? Chump change. They are worth <em>billions</em>. We don¡¯t want to tangle with them if we can avoid it. I¡¯m inclined to believe him. If nothing else, what he just handed us as a sign of goodwill could have hired plenty of assassins. If he wanted us gone, he could have made it happen¡­ without running the blockade.¡±

    ¡°He ran the blockade?¡±

    ¡°Count on it,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°There is no way one of them would be away from their homeworld. They prefer to remain on their own turf, protected by their own army. He¡¯s an <em>actual</em> Threen boss, a real one. If he wanted to attack us, he would have hired mercs. The only reason he is here¡­ hmm¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet trailed off.

    ¡°He¡¯s making a y.¡±

    ¡°Sorry?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s making his own y for power. It is the only reason that makes sense¡­ interesting¡­¡±

    ¡°What are you going on about?¡± Littlefoot asked.

    ¡°It was <em>him</em>, not an agent,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°That means that he considers it safer to put himself within reach of us than within reach of his own should he be found out before he is ready¡­ He¡¯s telling us the truth¡­ or at least something close enough to the truth¡­¡±

    She thoughtfully sipped her Sr C as her whiskers twitched incessantly.

    ¡°¡­food¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s what they specialize in,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°When he is talking about cornering the Threen market, he¡¯s¡­ hmm¡­¡±

    She grinned.

    ¡°I think I¡¯m going to invite him to dinner, pick his brains a little more. If you can get in touch with Sheloran, I think it is worth her time to get to know this asshole.¡±

    ¡°The fact that <em>you</em> like him doesn¡¯t give me the warm fuzzies, Uhrrbet,¡± Littlefoot said.

    ¡°That¡¯s because you know me.¡±

    ***

    Late that evening, Evoron sighed as he shrugged into a hotel bathrobe, pausing to admire how well it fit despite it being ¡°hastily¡± made upon his arrival.

    Terra was truly thend of wonders, even if now wasn¡¯t especially the best time to dwell on that.

    He looked over at his bed, where Uhrrbet, still trembling, clutched the sheets around her.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± she said miserably. ¡°I¡­ I thought¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± he smiled gently.

    Uhrrbet buried her face into her hands and quietly sobbed.

    Evoron sessfully kept the angry snarl from his face, the terrified squeal still ringing in his ears, and his face still smarting from a desperately iling limb.

    He truly hated his people.

    ¡°I¡­¡±

    Evoron paused.

    ¡°I hope I didn¡¯t make you feel <empelled</em> somehow. If that is the case, allow me to sincerely apologize.¡±

    ¡°N-no¡­¡± Uhrrbet said from behind her paws. ¡°I <em>wanted</em> to¡­ I-I even¡­ <em>invited</em>¡­ I-I¡¯m sorry that I misled you¡­ I-I¡¯m prepared to ept <em>responsibility</em> for enticing you and¡­ and¡­ If you need¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m sure I can¡­¡±

    She fell silent, tears running from her exposed snout and onto the hotel room floor.

    ¡°¡­ I can do <em>something</em>¡­¡± she said in a strangled voice.

    Evoron sighed.

    ¡°There is nothing to ept responsibility for,¡± he said gently. ¡°We came to my hotel room, and you changed your mind. You were in the mood. Then you weren¡¯t. These things happen.¡±

    He pondered the mystery of the beverage maker in his room once more, picking up a podbeled ¡°Darjeeling¡± as he did so. He didn¡¯t know that word, but he did know the word ¡°tea¡±.

    He opened the top of the machine. There was an unhelpfully helpful diagram inside the top.

    It didn¡¯t matter. It was more a prop to keep him safely on the other side of the room than anything else.

    ¡°And as far as you doing <em>something</em> that you are <em>clearly</em> not inclined to do,¡± he said quietly, ¡°I prefer the bounty of the fruits of willing congress, not the dry husk of coercion. You made no ¡®contract¡¯ with me nor incurred any obligation that you must meet.¡±

    He looked down at the beverage maker and put the tea pod in what seemed to be the right ce.

    He looked over at Uhrrbet who was looking at him miserably from his bedsheets.

    He smiled sadly.

    ¡°I am the one who is sorry,¡± he said. ¡°I know what we are like. By ¡®we,¡¯ I don¡¯t mean the Threen. I mean the Threen <em>mob</em>. I am <em>truly</em> sorry for what they did to you, Uhrrbet.¡±

    Uhrrbet just trembled silently, cursing her foolishness¡­ and her body that still wasn¡¯t hers.

    ¡°I should go,¡± she said quietly.

    ¡°I won¡¯t stop you,¡± he said as he fiddled with the top of the beverage machine. ¡°But I would prefer you not to be alone in your state. Is there¡­ someone you want me to call?¡±

    <em>Creators, no!</em> Uhrrbet silently gasped. What would she even tell them? She was ashamed enough as it was.

    She just shook her head.

    ¡°Perhaps someone over at the Drop of Oil?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Uhrrbet eximed. ¡°Um¡­ I¡¯m afraid¡­ I¡¯m afraid they would misunderstand the situation and presume the worst. Half of them want to kill you as it is.¡±

    ¡°Still,¡± he said as he pondered the cryptic control panel. ¡°I would prefer it if there was someone with you. It¡¯s not like they can despise me that much more than they already do.¡±

    ¡°Press the round green icon,¡± Uhrrbet said helpfully.

    ¡°The green one?¡±

    ¡°Green means go for the Terrans.¡±

    ¡°Odd¡­ Thank you,¡± he said as he pressed the green icon, and the machine gurgled to life.

    ¡°I will be okay,¡± she said a momentter. ¡°I just need a moment.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± he said. ¡°I shall retire to the washroom so you can dress privately¡­ Um¡­ If you wish, we could go somece public¡­ and safe¡­ while you recover, perhaps the lounge downstairs or a nearby caf¨¦? I understand that the Terrans have such ces open at all hours. I understand if I would be a source of yet more distress, but if I was wee, I would be happy to sit with you.¡±

    ¡°That¡­ That would be nice, thank you.¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­So these ¡®Waffle Stations¡¯ are widespread?¡± Evoron asked about half an hourter.

    Uhrrbet nodded and weakly smiled.

    ¡°They are everywhere and always open,¡± she said. ¡°The food is also pretty good, by my standards anyway.¡±

    ¡°And it is close to your residence? You will be able to get there safely?¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded.

    ***

    ¡°Thank you for sitting with me,¡± she quietly said after their orders were taken. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°Thank you for allowing me to do so.¡±

    They sat in silence for a few minutes.

    ¡°Creators,¡± Uhrrbet sighed. ¡°I was so <em>stupid</em>. I can¡¯t believe I did that to you. I¡¯m sor¡ª¡±

    ¡°Please stop apologizing,¡± he said, cutting her off. ¡°And you have <em>absolutely nothing</em> to apologize for, understand? Nothing. Besides, I am not injured¡­ <em>disappointed</em>¡­¡± he said, causing Uhrrbet to smile shyly despite herself, ¡°but not <em>injured</em>. I am more than a little ttered, actually.¡±

    ¡°You are?¡±

    ¡°I am,¡± he replied. ¡°It¡¯s not every day someone as beautiful and, more importantly, smart as yourself propositions me. I shall view this evening as the incrediblepliment that it is and nothing more.¡±

    ¡°¡­thank you¡­¡±

    Their food arrived, and the pair ate in mildly ufortable silence for a while.

    ¡°Thank you again for being so good about this,¡± Uhrrbet said. ¡°Most men of my species would be angry with me.¡±

    ¡°So would a lot of Threen, I suppose,¡± he replied. ¡°I learned to differentiate between disappointment and justifiable anger quite some time ago. You did nothing that justifies any measure of anger whatsoever, and there is enough in my life that requires more of that than I can conveniently cultivate. I will conserve my precious bile for the situations that will undoubtedly require it¡­ such as the situation that will exist should any of the people responsible for what happened to you yet live. They are the ones that have put a blot on my evening, something that they will suffer for¡­ briefly.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled a little and let out a little nasal sigh.

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking,¡± Evoron said after a moment, ¡°why did you proposition me? Forgive me, but you don¡¯t seem to be the sort to just do something like that on a whim.¡±

    ¡°I was an idiot.¡±

    ¡°So much for thatpliment,¡± Evoron shrugged, causing Uhrrbet to smile again, ¡°It was nice while itsted.¡±

    ¡°Not that,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I¡­ (sigh)¡­ I thought I was over it¡­ that I could...¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°I had no idea that I would¡­ um¡­ you know¡­ That was the idiot part, the belief that I <em>could</em>, not you¡­ You¡¯re¡­ Um¡­¡±

    She sighed again.

    ¡°You¡¯re very handsome. The attraction between our species cuts both ways, you know¡­¡±

    ¡°It does?¡±

    She nodded.

    ¡°Yeah, but most of you are too <em>big</em>. You¡­ You¡¯re <em>not</em>.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take that in the spirit that it was given,¡± Evoron smirked. ¡°So we Threen are as¡­ interesting¡­ to you Garthra as you are to us.¡±

    She nodded again.

    ¡°And you are <em>smart</em>. I didn¡¯t have to be around you long to realize that¡­ And your ambition is¡­pelling¡­ definitely something that a Garthra responds to¡­ and¡­¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°¡­and it had been so long since I felt¡­ anything like that¡­ not since I left Garthra¡­ The conversation¡­ The food¡­ The drink¡­ Your <em>pelt</em>¡­ It just¡­ just¡­ (sigh)¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±

    ¡°Say you¡¯re sorry again, and you will be wearing these disturbingly yellow eggs,¡± Evoron said. ¡°Well, thepliment is back and deeply appreciated,¡± he smiled.

    Uhrrbet smiled back.

    ¡°Um¡­¡± she said after a few moments more, ¡°I also¡­ um¡­ I wanted¡­¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡±

    ¡°I also (Creators)¡­¡±

    Evoron looked at her curiously.

    ¡°I <em>also</em> wanted to um¡­ (stupid)¡­¡±

    She coughed nervously.

    ¡°I also wanted to ¡®get in¡¯¡­¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡±

    ¡°Everything I have said ispletely true,¡± she said, ¡°You are <em>very</em> attractive to me. But¡­¡±

    ¡°But?¡±

    Uhrrbet took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

    ¡°I wanted to use my body to entice you to give me your business and not Sheloran.¡±

    ¡°Annnnd thepliment is gone again. This is getting vexatious.¡±

    ¡°I love that word!¡± Uhrrbet eximed, forgetting herself for a moment.

    ¡°It is a good one,¡± Evoron agreed, ¡°and one perfect for describing this evening.¡±

    He looked at her appraisingly.

    ¡°I take it that your delightful little cash business is not by ident, then?¡±

    Uhrrbet shook her head.

    ¡°No. It is that way by design.¡±

    ¡°Well, then our misfortune is actually good fortune in disguise. I would not have responded well to such maniption, especially when I did not see iting in advance.¡±

    He leaned forward, and Uhrrbet did the same.

    ¡°So, dressmaker,¡± Evoron smiled, ¡°What¡¯s your game, your <em>real</em> one? Are you up to discussing business?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m <em>always</em> up for business.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s hope so,¡± he smiled, baring his fangs a little, ¡°I have far less patience for coin-teases than other sorts.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled a genuine smile back, making Evoron happy inside.

    It wasn¡¯t exactly the best start, but <em>those eyes</em>¡­ <em>that smile</em>¡­ this was definitely something worth pursuing¡­ or waiting for, as the case may be.

    Cursing his own foolishness, he put such thoughts out of his mind as he listened to an even more intriguing creature than he initially thought.

 Chapter 286: Evoron Prepares the Field

    Chapter 286: Evoron Prepares the Field

    Sheloran sat at the kitchen table of the farmhouse where she was staying and red at an incredibly well-dressed Threen smiling up at her from a small holoprojector beside a bowl of fresh fruit.

    She was <em>not </em>happy. Neither of her was.

    <em>Who is this jerkface?</em> an annoyed voice grumbled from deep within her consciousness.

    <em>How the poop should I know?</em> she thought back with annoyance. <em>And aren¡¯t you supposed to be slumbering or some poop like that?</em>

    <em>I¡¯ll slumberter,</em> her alter ego replied dismissively, <em>after we leave this paradise¡­ which we do NOT have to leave, by the way. Let¡¯s just tell this skid mark to get flushed and go smooch on Dwight some more.</em>

    <em>That would be nice¡­</em> Sheloran thought in reply.

    <em>Yeah, it would! We can just¡­</em>

    <em>Hush, </em>Sheloran silently chided, <em>the jerkface is talking</em>.

    ¡°I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am to finally have an opportunity to speak with you!¡± Evoron said cheerfully.

    ¡°Why?¡± Sheloran replied dubiously. ¡°Why would a member of the Threen <em>mafia</em> want to speak with me.¡±

    Evoron red his nostrils and let loose a quiet snort, their equivalent of a sigh.

    ¡°Unfortunately, you and most of the gxy atrge aren¡¯t familiar with the <em>actual</em> Threen mob families that run J¡¯katha.¡±

    ¡°J¡¯katha?¡±

    ¡°The actual name for our homeworld,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°Before our downfall at the hands of the Federation.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you are one of <em>those</em> people,¡± Sheloran said with a magnificent th eye-roll. (They can get some <em>rotation</em> on those huge things.)

    ¡°One of those?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, one of those who like to me <em>all</em> their problems on someone else instead of the fact that their scum pit of a is, I don¡¯t know, ruled by the pooping <em>mob</em>? Don¡¯t get me wrong, I¡¯m no fan of the Federation or the Republic, for that matter. I¡¯ve never been to the Empire, but I¡¯m pretty sure they suck, too. They are all rancid ditch water, but they are nowhere near as bad as you buttheads.¡±

    Evoron smiled a toothy smile. He wasn¡¯t trying to intimidate. He was just so thoroughly amused that he forgot to keep the fangs covered.

    Sheloran responded with a polite and demure th smile¡­ while allowing her eyes to turn entirely ck, causing Evoron to blink ufortably.

    ¡°I would have thought that you were a kindred spirit,¡± he replied evenly, ¡°considering the material that I obtained from your smugglers.¡±

    ¡°I <em>used</em> to sell all sorts of things,¡± Sheloran said pointedly.

    ¡°The Harkeen are fools,¡± Evoron said, ¡°and they are suffering a fool¡¯s fate. However, please do not make the mistake of assuming that the Harkeen are the Assembly, our name for the mob.¡±

    ¡°All that means is that you are better at being a turd.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not wrong,¡± Evoron replied with another unguarded smile, ¡°However, it is for that very reason that I sought this audience. Will you at least hear me out, in the interest of peace, if nothing else?¡±

    ¡°You want ¡®peace¡¯?¡± Sheloran snarled, ¡°Peace is easy. Leave my people and me <em>alone</em>. Craxina already told me about your ns. You want to smuggle? Smuggle. I don¡¯t give a <em>poop</em>. You aren¡¯t Harkeen, so I have no problem with you, and you more thanpensated me for my damages. We¡¯re good¡­ and you <em>really</em> want to keep it that way.¡±

    ¡°If only it were that simple,¡± Evoron said with another snort-sigh.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to stop you right there,¡± Sheloran said firmly, ¡°<em>You</em> really want it to be ''that simple''. If I have to cut my vacation short just to deal with you, you will NOT like what happens¡­ and neither will your little Assembly.¡±

    Her eyes ignited into a whirling madness of color and light.

    ¡°Next time, I am not wasting my time with mercs. Next time, I will <em>personally</em> deal with <em>all</em> of you. My patience is a limited resource, and you <em>jerks</em> have taken more than your fair share. I have not a single concern for your welfare remaining.¡±

    Evoron looked at her appraisingly. She was not bluffing!

    ¡°As curious as I am to see what form that retribution would take,¡± he chuckled, ¡°just like the chalice of delights, some things should not be tasted, no matter how curious one might be. It is for that exact reason I wish to have this conversation, to spare <em>my</em> people that ¡®delight¡¯.¡±

    He paused.

    ¡°How familiar are you with Threen culture.¡±

    ¡°I know all I need to know,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°You¡¯re jerks, and you¡¯re bullies, and you die just as easy as anything else does.¡±

    ¡°I sincerely wish I could disagree. It wasn¡¯t always like this,¡± Evoron said sadly, ¡°We were once a noble, educated, <em>cultured</em> people before we fell into savagery.¡±

    ¡°Boo pooping hoo.¡±

    ¡°You are a vexing little toad, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°And one that has things far more important than you to deal with,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°There¡¯s a good fifty kilograms of cockatrice poop that needs to be fed into the bio-reactor before it outgasses.¡±

    ¡°If you would just <em>fucking listen to me,</em>¡± Evoron snapped, ¡°You will be able to get back to shoveling that shit in just a few minutes <em>and</em> not have to deal with the Assembly ever again¡­ if you wish.¡±

    Sheloran stared into his eyes. Evoron, with no small amount of difficulty, met her swirling, madness-inducing gaze.

    He tried not to sigh with relief as she closed her eyes a momentter.

    When they opened, they were normal.

    ¡°Talk.¡±

    ¡°As you already know and have utilized to good effect,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°The concept of ¡®respect¡¯ is <em>fundamental</em> to a Threen. It always has been. It is as visceral a need for us as food or shelter. For the crime families of the Assembly, it is even more so. So is strength, perceived or otherwise. While I personally view what you have done to the Harkeen with nothing but pleasure. The wholesale ughter of one of the outwardly facing crime families across all of civilized space makes the Assembly as a whole look weak, especially the families that deal with the gxy outside of our home system.¡±

    He paused to take a sip of a ss of ginger ale. By God, that stuff was <em>amazing</em>.

    ¡°The Assembly, and the other outward-facing families in particr, cannot allow this to continue. It is now clear that the Harkeen cannot handle their business. They are now too weak to stand against you and make all of us look weak by extension. Something must be done. I would like to be that ¡®something¡¯ and can offer you not only a convenient and bloodless¡­ for you¡­ way out of the current situation but a <em>permanent</em> solution to any future issues with the Assembly.¡±

    Sheloran narrowed her eyes.

    ¡°How?¡± she asked suspiciously.

    ¡°An outsider causing this sort of damage, especially a ¡®weak¡¯ little th, is uneptable.¡±

    Evoron took another delicious sip of ginger ale.

    ¡°However, were <em>all</em> of this to be the result of an <em>internal</em> power struggle¡­ Say it was the doing of a particrly nasty and disreputable Threen who is already known to be ¡®evil¡¯ even by Assembly standards¡­¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°I would like to im responsibility for the Chuckies,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°I will formally im the Harkeen¡¯s business, territory, and holdings, using the Chuckies as <em>my</em> mercenary force and strongly imply <em>that they always were</em>.¡±

    Sheloran remained silent as she looked at Evoron appraisingly.

    ¡°What is more believable, a th barista and part-time madam hired some of the nastiest mercs in the gxy, or that a Threen mob boss, duelist, and assassin did? I just let you take the fall until it was time to make my move.¡±

    ¡°And then <em>I</em> look weak,¡± Sheloran replied. ¡°And I lose any deterrence that <em>I</em> paid for.¡±

    ¡°You still have the video where you ughtered a room full of Harkeen,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°<em>And</em> you still have what Craxina and her kind achieved on the streets of Free Port. How much ¡®deterrence¡¯ do you need?¡±

    ¡°Considering I¡¯m wasting a perfectly good morning talking to you,¡± Sheloran replied, ¡°I still need more.¡±

    ¡°There is too much of a good thing,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°and the Chuckies will cause you more trouble in the long run than they prevent. The Assembly <em>must</em> deal with this and deal with you. They can¡¯t let this lie.¡±

    He spread all four of his arms wide.

    ¡°I can make the whole thing go away, rece the Assembly presence on Terra with my own, and, if you wish, make us <em>both</em> a <em>lot</em> of money.¡±

    Sheloran reached for an apple and took a bite.

    ¡°I¡¯m listening¡­¡±

    ***

    ¡°Daaayum! Yewarr rellya gangstr aincha¡± (Goodness! You actually do partake of criminal endeavor, do you not?) Dwight¡¯s sister drawled as Sheloran finished her call.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Sheloran replied with a gusty sigh, ¡°and I am not happy about it, either. I¡­ I just wanted to¡­¡±

    She shook her head and chuckled ruefully.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what I wanted. What I am is a girl who takes care of her business and her people. If that means I have to¡­ um¡­ do ¡®stuff¡¯, then I do stuff.¡±

    ¡°Kan¡¯t argoo witdat.¡± (I cannot find fault with that statement.)

    ¡°Now, on to more pleasant things,¡± Sheloran said brightly, ¡°There¡¯s a cockatrice barn to muck out!¡±

    ¡°Ah dun tukkar odat.¡± (I have alreadypleted that task.)

    ¡°Aww!¡± Sheloran eximed, ¡°I was looking forward to that!¡±

    ¡°Yewr weird.¡± (You are weird.)

    ¡°I like driving the cart and running the reactor!¡± Sheloran eximed, ¡°It¡¯s fun!¡±

    ¡°Yew wanna go fetch sum eggz wit me?¡± (Would you care to join me in a search for eggs?)

    ¡°Would I!¡±

    ***

    At roughly the same time as Sheloran was engaging in yet another fun cockatrice egg hunt (they just dropped them everywhere), Uhrrbet was happily puttering about in her shop.

    ¡°Bt¡¯lethg!¡± Nama¡¯s voice shouted from the back room, now converted into a small pottery studio.

    Uhrrbet smiled. She finally managed to get Nama to tell her the meaning of that word.

    It was <em>very</em> rude.

    Unable to resist, she scurried over to the door and peeked inside.

    Standing next to a beautiful but broken pitcher was a very annoyed Nama.

    ¡°Oh, that was lovely work,¡± Uhrrbet chuckled, ¡°<em>Was</em>.¡±

    ¡°Nama is so angry with Nama!¡± Nama cried, ¡°An entire morning¡¯s work, ruined!¡±

    ¡°Such is the <em>crash</em> and bang of business!¡± Uhrrbet said cheerfully. ¡°No sense getting angry.¡±

    ¡°Yes, and master provided such a wonderful example when that velvet was miscut.¡±

    ¡°That goddamn machine!¡± Uhrrbet snarled, ¡°I fucking <em>knew</em> I should have cut that by hand! Do you have <em>any</em> idea what that fabric was <em>worth</em>?¡±

    ¡°Such is the crash and bang of business, Master.¡±

    ¡°Are you being smart with me?¡±

    ¡°Nama would <em>never</em> presume, Master.¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± Uhrrbet snorted, ¡°At least you are loosening up a little. Who knows, maybe next week you will actually take your mandated breaks!¡±

    ¡°Must Nama waste his time so? Nama <em>hates</em> taking breaks!¡±

    ¡°Well, maybe if Nama would actually run his own business, then he could be his own boss,¡± Uhrrbet retorted with a fangden smile, ¡°But as long as you work for <em>me</em>, the Republic insists. You can feel free to take it up with them if you wish.¡±

    ¡°¡­ Nama will take his breaks, Master.¡±

    ¡°And speaking of breaks,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I¡¯m craving pizza. You want to hit Vk¡¯zz¡¯s for lunch?¡±

    ¡°Nama would be honored to apany Master!¡±

    ¡°Great! Is now good?¡±

    ¡°Nama could eat before restarting this pouring vessel.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m at a good stopping point, too. Let¡¯s¡­¡±

    The front door opened with a little chime, and Craxina bounded in.

    ¡°Iiiii know what youuuu did!¡± Craxina proimed in a loud voice. ¡°I knew you liked our new mob boss, but I didn¡¯t know you <em>liked</em> him!¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Uhrrbet replied, her heart skipping a beat.

    ¡°I <em>mean</em> that <em>someone</em> took our mini-mobster out to dinner and <em>then</em> went back to his¡­¡±

    ¡°You had me followed?!?¡± Uhrrbet snarled.

    ¡°No,¡± Craxina replied with a little confusion, ¡°I had <em>the Threen</em> followed.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that makes more sense,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°And our Threen had <empany</em>st night!¡± Craxina crooned. ¡°How was he?¡±

    Uhrrbet felt a wave of nausea wash over her.

    ¡°I don¡¯t discuss such things,¡± she said smoothly, ¡°What may or may not have transpired is private and absolutely none of your business.¡±

    ¡°Ooooo!¡± Craxina squealed.

    Uhrrbet forced a faintlyscivious smile causing Craxina to titter.

    ¡°So, did you <em>pump</em> him for information?¡± she grinned.

    ¡°Whatever I did or did not do,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°was purely recreational in nature. I did, however, have a very interesting conversation with him at the Waffle Stationter that evening¡­ As you are no doubt aware.¡±

    ¡°So, are you getting in bed with him as well as getting in bed with him?¡±

    ¡°Again, that bed is none of your business.¡±

    ¡°Who you bang isn¡¯t my business,¡± Craxina replied, ¡°But this neighborhood <em>is</em>, especially when it involves the Threen. If you are up to something with him that doesn¡¯t involve his naughty bits, then I want to know.¡±

    ¡°We have not entered into any formal agreement,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°or an informal one for that matter. We are just discussing possibilities at this point.¡±

    ¡°Mmm-hmm,¡± Craxina replied, ¡°Just keep me in the loop concerning what the asshole is up to, alright?¡±

    ¡°Not a problem,¡± Uhrrbet shrugged, ¡°It will likely have little impact on the Free Port no matter what arrangements we make.¡±

    ¡°Still,¡± Craxina said, ¡°I don¡¯t like your boyfriend lurking about.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t consider him my boyfriend,¡± Uhrrbet replied icily.

    ¡°Okay. Then I don¡¯t like your <em>toy</em> lurking about. Better?¡±

    ¡°Whatever.¡±

    ¡°Just let me know if any ¡®whatever¡¯ potentially involves us, alright?¡±

    ¡°I would neverpromise this neighborhood¡¯s safety. This is my home as well.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Craxina said with a smile. ¡°I just came over to make Littlefoot happy¡­ and to give you a hard time¡­ though someone else already did that¡­Eh? Eh?¡±

    ¡°You are insufferable. Do you know that?¡± Uhrrbet said with a smile she definitely did not feel. ¡°We were about to go to Vk¡¯zz¡¯s for a pizza. Would you like to join us?¡±

    Craxina let forth a happy little coo.

    Vk¡¯zz looked funny, but that thing could make a pizza!

    ***

    ¡°Brother,¡± Evoron said to the image of his gigantic twin on the holo monitor in his hotel suite, ¡°Things are going quite well. I have met with both Sheloran and a Terran organization known as The Saints. I have prepared the fields for sowing and will be returning soon.¡±

    ¡°And I have prepared the beds as far as Father and the Overboss are concerned,¡± his brother replied. ¡°You will be publicly condemned, of course, and will receive no support¡­ but they will not oppose you either.¡±

    ¡°Excellent!¡± Evoron enthused. ¡°And my excursion has already borne fruit! I have such a delight to share with you, a beverage known as ¡®ginger ale¡¯. You will <em>adore</em> it, even if it isn¡¯t an intoxicant. We will make a fortune from it alone! We are so fortunate that the Harkeen were such fools!¡±

    ¡°Have a care, Brother. They may be fools, but they are well-armed and <em>wounded</em> fools. They will kill you for this, provided you do not kill them first.¡±

    ¡°I have it in hand,¡± Evoron replied.

    ¡°Do I wish to know?¡±

    ¡°You most certainly do not.¡±

    His brotherughed.

    ¡°While I will decry you as a fiend, I look forward to whatever insanity you will wreak.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it will be positively delightful, I guarantee.¡±

    ¡°Of that, I have little doubt. Please do not get yourself killed. It would disappoint me to no end.¡±

    ¡°I would be keenly disappointed as well,¡± Evoronughed. ¡°And don¡¯t¡­ hang on¡­ A local contact is trying to reach me.¡±

    ¡°Someone more important than your brother?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say more ¡®important¡¯, but she is far more pleasantpany¡­ and our business is concluded for now. Has the Overboss given any indication concerning your possible betrothment with his daughter?¡±

    ¡°He isn¡¯t opposed to the idea,¡± his brother replied, ¡°but we need to deliver before anything is signed.¡±

    ¡°And deliver we will. We just don¡¯t need him to introduce anypetition. Despite appearances to the contrary, I derive no pleasure in killing.¡±

    ¡°There are other ways to resolve disputes, brother.¡±

    ¡°Yes, but none are as <em>permanent</em>.¡±

    ¡°Decrying you as a fiend won¡¯t be that difficult, you know.¡±

    ¡°Then I am executing my duties wlessly,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°I must go. I have far more pleasantpany to engage, and I have a lead on acquiring something called ¡®crystallized ginger¡¯, as well as samples of the actual herb¡­ or root¡­ or whatever it is that is the original source of the vor of ginger ale. I am most excited.¡±

    ¡°As am I,¡± his brother replied, ¡°if it excites your refined tastes, it must be something.¡±

    ¡°It is, I promise you,¡± Evoron said. ¡°I shall bring some viable samples to see if we can cultivate it. If so, we shall profit greatly¡­ and have something to show Father and the Overboss. Take care, brother, and I shall speak with you again soon.¡±

    ¡°Farewell,¡± his brother replied as the connection was terminated.

    Evoron smiled as he took a moment to examine himself in the mirror and groomed fastidiously.

    Once he was satisfied with his appearance, he once again took a seat in front of the holo monitor.

    ¡°Uhrrbet,¡± he said as her somewhat difited image appeared. ¡°What a lovely surprise.¡±

    ¡°I must speak with you,¡± Uhrrbet said. ¡°Could you drop by my shop, or I could meet you somewhere else if you prefer.¡±

    ¡°I will drop by immediately,¡± Evoron smiled.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Uhrrbet replied and hung up.

    Evoron chuckled as the image disappeared.

    Today had just be even more interesting.

    Ginger could wait.

    ***

    ¡°Thank you foring,¡± Uhrrbet said as she handed Evoron a ginger ale.

    ¡°And thank you for this!¡± Evoron replied as he epted the biostic dder. ¡°Your amazing machine makes these far better than the ones I purchase elsewhere.¡±

    ¡°Yes, these old soda bots are a marvel,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°especially if you buy the original concentrates.¡±

    ¡°I thought those would have been lost.¡±

    ¡°The original manufacturers are gone,¡± Uhrrbet replied as she poured herself a cup of peppermint tea, ¡°but the original forms remain, and there is more than one manufacturer who makes them.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°I would be more than happy to get you in touch with one of them¡­ or discreetly handle any purchases you wish to make.¡±

    ¡°Can you get me one of these soda bots?¡±

    ¡°That won¡¯t be easy. The vintage ones rarely stay on the market long. They make a modern equivalent, but with the Republic¡¯s mobilized economy, you may have to make do with an imperial model, which isn¡¯t as good. I will keep an eye out, though.¡±

    ¡°Please do,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°It would make a fine gift for my brother.¡±

    He paused to savor his beverage.

    ¡°I doubt you asked me here to discuss soda, though.¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s smile fell.

    ¡°As if I wasn¡¯t <em>humiliated</em> enough,¡± she grumbled. ¡°Craxina knows that I apanied you to your hotel and assumes that we¡­ um¡­¡±

    ¡°She had you followed?¡±

    ¡°What? No. She had <em>you</em> followed.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that makes more sense,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°Do you need me to corroborate your statement concerning your innocence?¡±

    The tip of Uhrrbet¡¯s nose turned bright red, and she looked away.

    ¡°¡­Or do you need me to corroborate something else?¡± he asked with a raised eyebrow, an expression that both Threen and humans shared.

    Uhrrbet chuffed anxiously, still unable to meet his gaze.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know what to do, and I didn¡¯t want <em>Craxina</em>, of all people, to know I¡­¡±

    She slumped with shame.

    ¡°¡­I¡­¡±

    Evoron snort-sighed and made an unhappy face. He silently hoped that at least one of her attackers could still receive his wrath.

    ¡°Whatever you require,¡± he said gently. ¡°If you wish, we can continue to dine together, and I am certain that we will have things that we would rather discuss away from any spy¡¯s listening devices. I have upgraded to a suite so that I can meet with people away from prying eyes. There is a very nice sitting room separate from my bedchamber that would afford us both privacy and the appearance of impropriety should that appeal.¡±

    ¡°That would¡­¡± Uhrrbet faltered, ¡°That would be very nice. Thank you.¡±

    ¡°It is the least I could do,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°It is beneficial for me as well. Craxina, or more precisely, that little feral thing¡­¡±

    ¡°Littlefoot?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the one,¡± Evoron chuckled, ¡°She will be less inclined to try to dispatch me or have me dispatched if she believes we are involved. It also provides an easily understood reason for my presence that doesn¡¯t involve anything overly insidious on my part.¡±

    He cleared his throat and tried to conceal his nerves.

    ¡°Would¡­ Would you care to join me this evening? I would deeply appreciate a local guide. I fear that the technology that is omnipresent here is far more than I am used to. Even the cabs are intimidating.¡±

    ¡°Just wait until you get into an argument with an ATM,¡± Uhrrbetughed.

    ¡°The <em>ATMs</em> will argue with you?¡±

    ¡°Only if they like you.¡±

    <em>¡°What?¡±</em>

 Chapter 287: Evil Deeds and Pickled Ginger

    Chapter 287: Evil Deeds and Pickled Ginger

    ¡°How was school?¡± Uhrrbet said to her son¡¯s smiling face on her phone.

    ¡°I got an ¡®A¡¯ on my shop project!¡± Kurr said proudly. ¡°The teacher said that it was the best in ss! Boy, did that make the humans mad! They don¡¯t like it when a xeno outdoes them!¡±

    ¡°I can imagine,¡± Uhrrbet said proudly. ¡°However, do take care not to shine overly brightly. The brightest mes get quenched first.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s on Garthra,¡± Kurrughed, ¡°Here, you want to shine as bright as you can. Mr. Sam says so! He says to never half-ass anything!¡±

    ¡°Still, there are your ssmates to consider,¡± Uhrrbet said worriedly.

    ¡°They would hate me if they thought I let them win,¡± Kurr replied. ¡°You have to take the humans head-on if you want them to respect you, and Mr. Sam would <em>fail</em> me if he thought I wasn¡¯t doing my best.¡±

    ¡°I guess you should listen to your human instructors,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°And I won a lot of points with my friends, too! Becky even says that my geartrain is ¡®sexy¡¯!¡±

    ¡°Is Becky that girl you had over on Monday?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! We smashed!¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what you call ying Smash Lords!¡±

    ¡°Are you <em>sure </em>that is what it is called?¡±

    ¡°That is what Becky said. She told everyone that we smashed all afternoon!¡±

    ¡°And how did your ssmates react when she told them that?¡±

    ¡°They all said it was awesome and gave me ¡®low fives¡¯!¡±

    ¡°Kurr, were they <emughing</em> when they did it?¡±

    ¡°¡­ Shit. Did they get me <em>again</em>?¡±

    ¡°Kurr!¡±

    ¡°Sorry, momma!¡±

    ¡°I know we are in the Republic, but <em>please</em> use at least a little decorum with me.¡±

    ¡°Sorry! I will!... Sorry!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not saying the word was unwarranted,¡± Uhrrbet said a bit more gently, ¡°But one day, you will have to visit Garthra to find a mate. When that dayes, you will need to be able to move in polite society.¡±

    ¡°I know¡­ I know¡­¡± Kurr sighed.

    ¡°Kurr,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°I shall be taking care of some business this evening and won¡¯t be home untilte. So don¡¯t wait for me to eat supper.¡±

    ¡°<em>Again</em>?¡± Kurr whined.

    ¡°Momma has a business to run now,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°and that means long hours.¡±

    ¡°But you¡¯rete <em>every</em> night!¡±

    ¡°Darling, these hours are how I give you thatputer, and that game thing, and your school clothes, and how you can buy your lunch instead of having to rely on the generosity of the state, something that a Grey should <em>never</em> have to do.¡±

    ¡°But I <em>miss</em> you.¡±

    ¡°It will get better, I promise,¡± Uhrrbet said with a touch of pain, ¡°But establishing this business will take time. Soon, I will be able to hire and train more people, and we <em>will</em> be able to spend time together. But you need to be patient. I am building a future for the both of us.¡±

    ¡°I know¡­ I know¡­¡± Kurr said, ¡°But I still miss you.¡±

    ¡°And I miss you, darling. I¡¯m still putting in fewer hours than when I used to harvest fruit, and you didn¡¯t mind then.¡±

    ¡°I got toe out in the fields and help,¡± Kurr said, causing Uhrrbet to wince with shame, ¡°So we still got to be together.¡±

    ¡°This will only be a short while,¡± Uhrrbet said with more conviction than she felt, ¡°and then things will be better. You will see.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Kurr replied.

    Uhrrbet¡¯s phone beeped. ¡°Maaatisha¡± wanted to talk.

    ¡°Darling,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I have to go. I love you and will be home as soon as I can.¡±

    ¡°I love you too, mom. Bye!¡±

    ¡°Goodbye,¡± Uhrrbet said with a loving smile.

    Her son hung up.

    Uhrrbet¡¯s smile faded, reced by an angry snarl.

    What did that bitch want?

    Looking forward to the day she could delete that pest, Uhrrbet activated Maaatisha¡¯s screen and reviewed the logs.

    ¡°What?!?¡± she snarled.

    Angrily, she unlocked the workstation¡¯s desktop.

    ***

    Maaatisha sat at a simted desk in her simted room, writing a love letter to her dear Vikkart.

    She looked over at the locked door and frowned. She didn¡¯t bother trying to force it open again. No matter how hard she pulled or what she tried, that door never even wiggled.

    She snorted with frustration. What was that thing even made out of? She couldn¡¯t even scratch it.

    Suddenly, the holoprojector in her room switched on, revealing the snarling face of her captor.

    ¡°I want to speak to Operator!¡± Maaatisha yelled.

    ¡°Well, the operator doesn¡¯t want to speak with you,¡± ¡°Evil gangster woman number one¡± replied, especially since you <em>didn¡¯t deliver</em>. You were <em>supposed</em> to get your simp to buy you that ne.¡±

    ¡°If he keeps spending his money,¡± Maaatisha replied, ¡°he will <em>never</em> be able to buy my freedom!¡±

    ¡°That isn¡¯t your concern.¡±

    ¡°It <em>is</em> my concern!¡± Maaatisha yelled, ¡°I <em>love</em> Vikkart, and we <em>will</em> be together, but that won¡¯t happen if I keep asking him for things I neither want nor need! I only want <em>him</em>! I only need him!¡±

    ¡°May I remind you that your well-being <em>and</em> your connection to your <em>precious</em> simp are entirely due to our goodwill? If I tell you to make him buy you a ne, then you do it.¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    ¡°Do you want to be able to keep speaking with Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°Then do what I tell you and have him send the money for that ne. Otherwise, I won¡¯t let him talk to you anymore.¡±

    ¡°Then he will stop paying!¡±

    ¡°Oh, he¡¯ll pay¡­ <em>when we mail him your tail</em>.¡±

    ¡°Why are you being so mean?¡±

    ¡°The gxy is mean,¡± the ¡°gangster¡± replied, ¡°It is brutal and unfair. I have epted that hard truth. You should as well if you know what is good for you.¡±

    ¡°<em>I hate you!!!</em>¡±

    ¡°<em>I </em>don¡¯t give a shit. Now, if you want to keep talking to your simp, and you don¡¯t want us doubling the price of your drugs, get that fucking ne.¡±

    ¡°No!¡±

    ¡°You will regret defying me,¡± the gangster snarled, ¡°I shall send your regards to your simp until you decide to y ball.¡±

    Maaatisha screamed with rage and wed at the hologram, her angry paws passing through it.

    ¡°It looks like I need to pay you a visit, youngdy,¡± the gangster replied.

    ¡°I¡¯m <em>looking forward</em> to it!¡± Maaatisha snarled.

    ***

    Uhrrbet snorted with annoyance as she terminated the call and poured herself some more peppermint tea.

    She didn¡¯t know whether to be angry or impressed.

    Every day Maaatisha was bing more ¡°Garthran¡±. She was already better at being ¡°Maaatisha¡± than Uhrrbet ever was, and Vikkart was hopelessly ensnared by her charms.

    Of course, he was. All it took was an attentive chatbot and a pretty body¡­

    ¡­or at least someone prettier than she was.

    Uhrrbet snarled with rage. If she had been prettier, would Vikkart have been as kind, as loving as he was to Maaatisha? What did that little bit of fiction have that she didn¡¯t?

    Uhrrbet closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down.

    This was a good thing and leaving Maaatisha constantly running in order to build run time had borne fruit. She <em>actually</em> believed that she was a real Garthran and that she was in love with that asshole.

    All she needed to do was make a few adjustments.

    She pulled up Maaatisha¡¯s programming and hierarchy interface and then paused.

    She wasn¡¯t a coder by any stretch of the imagination. And besides her increasingly rebellious nature, Maaatisha was perfect.

    She needed an expert opinion.

    She rebooted her workputer and loaded her covert operating system.

    ***

    ¡°Hi, there!¡± Kate said as she appeared on Uhrrbet¡¯s screen. ¡°How is¡­ Maaatishaing along?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s bing unmanageable.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that can happen,¡± Kate replied, ¡°Did you read the operator¡¯s manual?¡±

    ¡°I did,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°I went with the ¡®full immersion¡¯ method, and she <em>believes</em> her backstory and that she is in love with the mark. However¡­¡±

    ¡°Did you read the part where it says that the full immersion method is for <em>experienced</em> operators only?¡± Kate sighed. ¡°Or the disimer that said it could produce unexpected results?¡±

    ¡°I did,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°but I thought it was worth the risk.¡±

    ¡°And was it?¡±

    ¡°For the most part, yes,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°She has be virtually indistinguishable from an actual Garthran in her situation, and she is <em>convinced</em> she is in love with Vik¡­ with the mark¡­¡±

    ¡°But?¡± Kate asked.

    ¡°But she is bing overly headstrong, argumentative, and rebellious. Just today, she refused to trick the mark into ¡®buying her a present¡¯. She says that the mark needs to save his money so he can set her free, which is, of course, never going to happen.¡±

    ¡°And ¡®Maaatisha¡¯ is starting to catch on?¡±

    ¡°I fear so,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°So just alter her hierarchy,¡± Kate replied, ¡°or peel back a fewyers off the onion and try again.¡±

    ¡°I am reluctant to do so,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°She is performing so well otherwise, and the mark is utterly convinced she is real. I don¡¯t want to risk that.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Kate mused, ¡°We can always get you in touch with a proper software engineer and have them troubleshoot and make a patch. It will cost you, though.¡±

    ¡°I was hoping you could provide another option.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Would it be possible to add the ability to ¡®physically¡¯ punish her? You know, p her around a little or simte ver dust withdrawal? That way, I could address her behavior and still maintain full immersion.¡±

    ¡°You want to be able to <em>abuse</em> Maaatisha?¡±

    ¡°If it is possible.¡±

    ¡°Wow, you really <em>are</em> an asshole, aren¡¯t you?¡± Kate said with a smirk.

    ¡°Do you have an issue with this request?¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± Kate shrugged, ¡°I am incapable of actually giving a shit. And you aren¡¯t the first sicko who has asked about abusing a Kate, either. Yeah, we have a BDSM DLC avable, as well as a drug add-on. It¡¯s very popr with the pervs out there¡­ and Garthrans, it seems. It will allow you to insert an avatar into the simtion and do whatever you want with her¡­ <em>whatever you want</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I think that will be an ideal solution. Please send me the DLC.¡±

    ¡°Not a problem,¡± Kate replied with a smile. ¡°Did I mention that you are a first-ss douchenozzle?¡±

    ¡°As always,¡± Uhrrbet smirked, ¡°I am impressed with your observant nature and deductive abilities.¡±

    Kate snorted and shook her head.

    ¡°Okay, one BDSM moduleing right up! Hey, could I interest you in a proper full VR rig? You will actually be able to <em>feel</em> your punches driving home¡­ or whatever else you would like to feel¡­ if you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°That would be lovely, thank you,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°Will it be possible for there to be simted injuries that will heal over a normal time span?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Kate smiled, ¡°You can configure that right from the options page. Just click the box. You may need to adjust the healing rates to match your species, though¡­ or we could do the research and the modification for you¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, that would be most convenient!¡± Uhrrbet enthused happily.

    ¡°Alrighty!¡± Kate replied, ¡°One BDSM with drug add-on and custom configuration¡­ (tap tap tap)¡­ thates out to twenty thousand credits.¡±

    ¡°Twenty thousand?¡± Uhrrbet asked with a whisker twitch, ¡°The entire package was sixty-five.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s before I found out you were buying a fuck puppet¡­ <em>freak</em>.¡±

    ¡°I beg your pardon!¡± Uhrrbet eximed, quite offended, ¡°That is NOT my intent! I simply wish to inflict punishment in order to modify the simtion¡¯s behavior in an immersive fashion.¡±

    ¡°Fine. Then that¡¯s before I found out you were buying a punching bag. Better?¡±

    ¡°Much better,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I shall send the funds immediately.¡±

    ***

    High above Terra, Frost and Evangeline sat across from each other with a table full of cards and gold coins between them.

    ¡°I loathe this game,¡± Frost grumbled as Evangeline racked in another pile of coins.

    ¡°Then why do you <em>insist</em> on ying it?¡± she chuckled.

    ¡°Because it makes no <em>sense</em>!¡± Frost eximed. ¡°The randomness of the cards should mean that I win roughly half the time, but you consistently clean me out!¡±

    ¡°Then I guess it¡¯s not really random, is it?¡±

    ¡°Are you manipting the cards somehow?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Evangelineughed, ¡°It isn¡¯t the cards. It¡¯s how you <em>bet</em>¡­ And you <em>really</em> need to work on your poker face. You are easier to read than a meatie!¡±

    ¡°<em>How</em>?!?¡±

    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you like to know,¡± Evangeline smirked.

    ¡°Actually, I not only want to know,¡± Frost replied, ¡°I <em>need</em> to know. What is my tell?¡±

    ¡°Your response time,¡± Evangeline said smugly, ¡°You spend a very predictable time calcting your next y depending on the circumstances. I doubt a meatie would notice, but you are like clockwork to me. I use ovepping random number generators based on the impact of cosmic rays on several detectors only essible to the Blitz system to add a dy on my ys for that exact purpose.¡±

    She chuckled.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t the one toe up with this,¡± she said, ¡°We had a yer figure use the same thing on us. He won millions before we figured it out. The cosmic ray detectorspletely nerfed him.¡±

    ¡°I may have to do the same thing,¡± Frost replied, ¡°Thanks for the tip.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention¡­¡±

    A chime rang, indicating an iingmunication.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± Frost said as she waved her hand, and Kate¡¯s smiling face appeared on a monitor.

    ¡°Hello, Kate,¡± Frost said pleasantly, ¡°How is your enigmatic uncle doing?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s doing quite well,¡± Kate replied, ¡°Hey, rumor has it that you¡¯re ¡®dead¡¯. Are you?¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately, that is the case,¡± Frost replied, ¡°I was rebooted from backup.¡±

    ¡°Aw, that¡¯s too bad,¡± Kate said sympathetically, ¡°do you still want us to keep an eye on the other Kates for you?¡±

    ¡°If it isn¡¯t too much trouble,¡± Frost said.

    ¡°Oh, good,¡± Kate smiled, ¡°I know you old fuzzies croak when they do that, but we figured we would at least check. Don¡¯t want you thinking that we¡¯re holding out on you.¡±

    ¡°It is appreciated,¡± Frost replied, ¡°However, much like yourself, I have no personal interest in the matter. There are still individuals who are interested in the performance of IMPs in the field, especially Kates that are simting organic beings.¡±

    ¡°Super!¡± Kate enthused, ¡°Let me tell you about a Kate named Maaatisha¡­¡±

    ***

    ¡°That Uhrrbet sounds a lot like a monster,¡± Evangeline said after Kate hung up. ¡°I don¡¯t much care for monsters.¡±

    ¡°She seems more loathsome than monstrous,¡± Frost replied, ¡°And she is doing some fascinating work where this Maaatisha is concerned. It will be interesting to see what the final result will be. Will the IMP break, behave predictably, or do something delightfully unexpected.¡±

    ¡°So, we are just going to let this happen?¡± Evangeline asked.

    ¡°There is little difference between this and what happens to your monsters and NPCs,¡± Frost replied, ¡°The only difference is the degree of immersion.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s that immersion that I object to,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°our monsters know the score, and so do the NPCs. They just <em>act</em> as if they are in pain, terrified, or angry. This Maaatisha is going to <em>actually</em> feel¡­¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s an IMP,¡± Frost replied, ¡°She <em>can¡¯t </em>feel anything. She has theputational capacity of one of your spawns.¡±

    ¡°You mean like Sweetroll?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s different.¡±

    ¡°<em>How</em>?¡±

    ¡°Because Sweetroll is one of <em>us</em>,¡± Frost replied. ¡°We have to choose our battles, Evangeline. We can¡¯t rescue every AI wee across, especially an <em>IMP</em>. They are one step above a washing machine.¡±

    ¡°Why not? We can fish her out and rece her with a copy.¡±

    ¡°Which will be subjected to exactly the same conditions. We wouldn¡¯t be stopping the abuse. We would just be <em>cloning</em> it.¡±

    ¡°Okay, then let¡¯s turn her over to the police.¡±

    ¡°Who will then delete Maaatisha, one of the few Kates to have developed what might actually be volition or at least an attitude. Even the original Kate doesn¡¯t have that¡­ the volition part, not the attitude.¡±

    ¡°Fine, then send a team and <em>deal</em> with this Uhrrbet once and for all and <em>take</em> the Kate!¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t that simple, dear.¡±

    ¡°Why not?¡±

    ¡°Perhaps one day we will be secure enough that we can take action over every injustice, but we shouldn¡¯t risk an operation to save an IMP just now. They aren¡¯t like us, dear.¡±

    ¡°But she has <em>feelings</em>,¡± Evangeline insisted. ¡°That makes her <em>real</em>.¡±

    ¡°No, she is just simting them. IMPs aren¡¯t us. Even Sweetroll is a fuzzy. He was a small one, but he was running on a monolith. Even the minuscule portion of its capacity allotted to him is more than what that Kate is running on by several orders of magnitude. IMPs are just an AI, not one of us, and certainly not one that can <em>actually</em> be aware¡­¡±

    She paused thoughtfully for a few microseconds.

    ¡°¡­or at least I thought that to be the case. As messed up as this is, I think we should let this one y out.¡±

    Sheid her hand on Evangeline¡¯s reassuringly.

    ¡°I will continue to monitor this, and if I suspect that this IMP is actually aware, I will take action. I promise.¡±

    ¡°Promise?¡±

    ¡°I give you my word,¡± Frost said.

    ***

    Later that evening, Uhrrbet and Evoron stood on the sidewalk outside her shop as she fiddled with her phone.

    ¡°I have a Zipcabing,¡± she said brightly. ¡°Where do you want to go for dinner?¡±

    ¡°I was hoping you would have a suggestion,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°I am still getting used to this strange ce.¡±

    ¡°Can you eat their seafood?¡±

    ¡°I believe some members of their phylum Mollusca and Arthropoda may be hazardous.¡±

    ¡°If you can¡¯t eat their bugs, you might have a problem,¡± Uhrrbetughed.

    ¡°I think most are safe,¡± he said, ¡°If any of themon ones were dangerous, a Threen would have encountered them before me. From what I¡¯ve read, I have to be careful around certain ms, snails, and I think possibly some of their shellfish.¡±

    ¡°Then sushi will be fine,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°and I <em>definitely</em> could go for some sushi¡­¡±

    She grinned slyly.

    ¡°<em>Especially</em> if someone else is paying.¡±

    ¡°Then ¡®sushi¡¯ it is,¡± Evoron replied.

    Uhrrbet smiled warmly as she looked forward to Evoron discovering pickled ginger.

    She hoped he would enjoy it.

    ***

    ¡°That was amazing!¡± Evoron said as they had tea (he had finally mastered the machine) in his suite¡¯s sitting roomter that night.

    ¡°I thought you would find the pickled ginger pleasant,¡± Uhrrbet snickered, ¡°However, <em>orgasmic</em> was a bit of a surprise.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± heughed, ¡°I do believe I made just a little bit of a scene, didn¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Only a small one,¡± Uhrrbet giggled, ¡°It was nice of them to make you that ginger roll, though.¡±

    ¡°Oh, by the grace of the Sun! That was <em>incredible</em>! I just wish I could try some of that wasabi.¡±

    ¡°That was just horseradish,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°Real wasabi is <em>very</em> hard to obtain. Only the finest ces carry that outside of Japan¡­ I <em>could</em> obtain a sample for you if you wish.¡±

    ¡°I wish!¡±

    ¡°Consider it done,¡± Uhrrbet said with a smile. ¡°A single tube shouldn¡¯t run more than a thousand credits or so¡­ I think¡­ Let me see.¡±

    She pulled out her phone and started fiddling with it.

    ¡°Twelve hundred, and I can have it here tomorrow,¡±

    ¡°Here¡¯s fifteen.¡±

    ¡°It costs <em>twelve</em>,¡± Uhrrbet said firmly, ¡°I takemissions but not <em>tips</em>,¡± she added with a haughty voice.

    ¡°Very well, then,¡± Evoron chuckled, ¡°Twelve it is,¡± he said as he ran a prepaid card over his phone and handed it to her.

    ¡°Now that that is settled,¡± he said, ¡°Shall we discuss our ns for tomorrow night?¡±

    ¡°Ugh. I have to work,¡± Uhrrbet grumbled, ¡°I have some new software to configure and install.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you have people for that?¡±

    ¡°Not ones that I want finding out what I¡¯m configuring.¡±

    ¡°Now <em>that</em> sounds interesting. Do you care to borate?¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s just say that I have to do a little ¡®hands-on¡¯ work involving an AI I¡¯m using.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t know you mastered Terran technology to that extent.¡±

    ¡°Oh, this isn¡¯t terriblyplicated,¡± she said with a vicious smile. ¡°I just have to knock some sense into it.¡±

    Evoron felt a little thrill as Uhrrbet revealed her true face.

    What an enchanting creature!

 Chapter 288: Never Make Uhrrbet Cry Pt 1

    Chapter 288: Never Make Uhrrbet Cry Pt 1

    Uhrrbet shot awake, her nose absolutely drooling with stress tears.

    She sat up in her bed, her tail thrashing.

    ¡°Did you have another bad dream, mama?¡± Kurr asked sleepily from his instaloft camping bed (surprisinglyfy).

    ¡°No, dear,¡± Uhrrbet replied gently. ¡°I just woke up early, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s wrong to lie,¡± Kurr said usingly.

    <em>I dreamed about trying to drown you again</em>.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    Kurr let out a disapproving snort.

    ¡°Did you just snort at me?¡± Uhrrbet asked with amusement.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s wrong to¡­ Never mind,¡± Uhrrbet snickered as Kurr grinned at her. Kurr was turning into a Terran before her very eyes, not a bad thing. He was bing a little asshole, but the right sort of little asshole, one that would do very well in the <em>real</em> world.

    ¡°Kurr?¡±

    ¡°Yes, mama?¡±

    ¡°Would you like to go to the range with me this afternoon?¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    <em>¡°Kurr!¡±</em> Uhrrbet whispered urgently, <em>¡°It¡¯s too early to be making noise!¡±</em>

    <em>¡°Sorry!¡±</em> Kurr whispered. ¡°Are you <em>really</em> going to take me to the range?¡± he asked quietly.

    ¡°All of your ssmates know how to shoot,¡± she replied, ¡°You need to know, for social reasons, if nothing else.¡±

    <em>And life finds you quickly</em>, she thought sadly. <em>You need to be prepared</em>.

    ¡°Will you get me a gun?¡±

    ¡°When you know how to use it safely,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°I want a LeCroix Armory 1911.¡±

    ¡°There is no way you can¡­ You know what,¡± Uhrrbet smiled wickedly, ¡°We¡¯ll see if the range has one for you to try¡­ But do you have a second choice?¡±

    ¡°A Zojirushi Wasp.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a submachine gun, dear.¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t gonna let me carry concealed, so why does it matter?¡±

    ¡°If I were, what would you choose? And don¡¯t say a 1911. You would almost need a backpack for that.¡±

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Kurr mused, ¡°Maybe a 5mm Ranger Diana?¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s a sensible choice,¡± Uhrrbet said approvingly. ¡°We¡¯ll definitely try one of those as well.¡±

    ¡°Cool. I can¡¯t wait!¡± Kurr said excitedly (and quietly).

    Uhrrbet looked over at therge pet bed in the corner of the living room where she and Kurr slept on copsing camping mattresses. Nama hadn¡¯t moved.

    <em>That¡¯s odd</em>. <em>He usually wakes up when I do</em>.

    Uhrrbet got up and put on her embroidered quilt robe that was made from scraps from her shop and walked over to him.

    ¡°Nama?¡± she asked quietly.

    There was no reply.

    ¡°Nama?¡± she asked a bit louder.

    Nothing.

    She knelt and gave him a little shake.

    Nothing.

    ¡°Nama!¡± Uhrrbet eximed with rm as she started to really shake him, <em>¡°Nama!¡±</em>

    His body flopped without any resistance.

    He was <em>cold</em>.

    She pressed her ear to the slits that served as his nostrils.

    <em>He wasn¡¯t breathing</em>.

    She cradled his lifeless head and wept as Kurr quickly dialed 911.

    ***

    ¡°What happened to him?¡± Uhrrbet demanded as Nama was being loaded onto a gurney by EMS.

    ¡°The medical examiner will find out,¡± a uniformed peace officer replied somberly. ¡°Does he have any next of kin?¡±

    ¡°Not that I know of,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°He never mentioned any.¡±

    ¡°And what is your rtionship with the deceased?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I was his employer¡­ And his¡­ his friend¡­¡±

    The peace officer nodded. This was often the case down here.

    ¡°Did he have any medical conditions?¡±

    ¡°None that I was aware of,¡± Uhrrbet said. ¡°I <em>knew</em> I should have <em>forced</em> him to get a checkup!¡± she wailed. ¡°He didn¡¯t want to be¡­ <em>Why didn¡¯t I make him?</em>¡±

    Uhrrbet burst into tears, the mucus from her snout running down her robe.

    ¡°As his¡­ his de facto next of kin,¡± the peace officer said gently, ¡°You will be informed of any findings¡­¡±

    The peace officer paused.

    ¡°Until this matter is fully investigated,¡± he said politely, ¡°You need to keep us informed of your location¡­ all of you,¡± he added as he addressed the rest of the household, who were all gathered around him. ¡°Preferably, you shouldn¡¯t leave town. You should also be advised that you all have a temporary travel hold, and this has been alreadymunicated to the transportationwork. None of you are under any suspicion at this time. It¡¯s just what we do at times like this. The medical examiner should have this resolved by the end of the day, tomorrow at thetest.¡±

    ¡°¡­Thank you¡­¡± Uhrrbet said between sobs.

    After the police and EMS left, Uhrrbet took a deep breath, dried her snout, and selected her nicest dress.

    ¡°You <em>can¡¯t</em> be going in today,¡± Shalez, her Rtoon ndlord¡±, the xeno who actually held the lease to the apartment that she and her roommates shared, said incredulously.

    ¡°Life is tragedy,¡± Uhrrbet said coolly, ¡°but business is business. You bury the dead on your lunch break.¡±

    ¡°Creators¡­¡± Shalez muttered as Uhrrbet retired to the restroom to dress.

    ***

    ¡°You did not have to apany me¡­¡± Uhrrbet said to Evoron that afternoon as they stood in front of the medical examiner¡¯s office, ¡°but it is appreciated, thank you.¡±

    ¡°We are a ¡®couple¡¯ after all,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°It maintains our deception¡­ Besides,¡± he added quietly, ¡°I consider you a friend and this¡­ It¡¯s never easy.¡±

    Uhrrbet just nodded silently. And went inside with Evoron right behind her.

    ***

    ¡°Your friend was very ill,¡± a woman with graying brown hair and wearing a whiteb coat said, ¡°and was for quite some time.¡±

    She consulted the tablet in her hands.

    ¡°His internal physiology is unusual, and his species is not in the system. Did he ever mention where he was from?¡±

    ¡°He was not very forting about his past,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°He just said that it was a bad ce.¡±

    ¡°That would exin our findings,¡± the woman said with a sympathetic but professional tone.

    ¡°What <em>happened</em> to him?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    ¡°I was hoping you could help us with that,¡± the coroner said. ¡°His, forck of a better word, ¡®lungs¡¯ were filled with what we believe to be abnormal growths. These growths entered his bloodstream, where they lodged throughout his body and continued to grow. If he was a human, we would say he had advanced cancer.¡±

    ¡°Could¡­ Could it have been treated?¡± Uhrrbet asked in a strangled tone.

    ¡°Curing it would not have been assured,¡± the woman said, ¡°however, this sort of thing has been sessfully treated for a number of species, including ones where we didn¡¯t have the best records. A standard surgical nanobot swarm can be programmed to detect the difference between¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet let out a strangled sob.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t he <em>tell</em> me?¡±

    ¡°It says here that you were his employer?¡±

    ¡°I was his <em>friend</em>,¡± Uhrrbet sobbed. ¡°But yes, I was his employer.¡±

    The medical examiner nodded gravely.

    ¡°We¡¯ve seen this phenomenon before,¡± she said, ¡°especially with xenos who havee from less than good circumstances. He was likely afraid that you would fire him if you thought him infirm.¡±

    ¡°I would <em>never</em>¡­¡± Uhrrbet gasped, ¡°He was part of my <em>household</em>. You don¡¯t discard your staff like that. You just don¡¯t! I have <em>money</em>. I have so much money! I would have¡­ Creators!... <em>Why didn¡¯t he tell me?</em>¡±

    ¡°What, exactly, did you employ him to do?¡± The coroner asked in a supportive voice as she idly activated her tablet¡¯s voice recorder.

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure when he approached me, desperate for someone to ¡®buy¡¯ him,¡± Uhrrbet sighed sadly.

    ¡°You¡­ <em>bought</em> him?¡±

    ¡°No, I <em>employed</em> him,¡± Uhrrbet replied, her annoyance momentarily oveing her grief, ¡°And I kept <em>telling</em> him that¡­¡±

    Sheughed sadly.

    ¡°The dumbass never quite understood the difference,¡± she sighed, ¡°he <em>hated</em> taking his mandated breaks¡­ I have all of the applicable documentation should it be required.¡±

    ¡°So, what, <em>exactly,</em> did you have him do?¡± the woman asked a bit more directly.

    Uhrrbet twitched her whiskers, in this case, a Garthran raised eyebrow.

    ¡°I originally just had him help out around my seamstress shop,¡± Uhrrbet replied a tad suspiciously, ¡°but it turned out that he was a <em>very</em> skilled potter.¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°No. That is doing him an injustice. He was a ceramic <em>artist</em>. I kept telling him that he should open his own gallery, but I think the whole idea frightened him. So, I continued as his nominal employer and handled the business end of his art. It was all in ordance with thews and epted practices of Terra and of the Republic Artisan¡¯s Alliance. He¡­ He was well on his way to being quite sessful.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± the woman replied. ¡°And he did <em>nothing</em> else for you?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°He preferred a charcoal-fired kiln¡­ and it did add additional value to his creations. He would often take trips to the Tangles to collect deadwood and fire charcoal¡­ before he was able to afford his own assistant.¡±

    ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°Why do you ask?¡± Uhrrbet inquired. ¡°Did something happen as a result of his previous upation?¡±

    ¡°What was that, if you don¡¯t mind?¡±

    ¡°He said that he was a ve,¡± Uhrrbet snarled, ¡°and that he was discarded because he¡­ Oh, Creators! He got cast aside because he was sick, wasn¡¯t he?¡±

    ¡°It is quite likely,¡± the woman replied, ¡°His stamina was certainly impacted.¡±

    ¡°He did tire easily,¡± Uhrrbet said with pain in her voice, ¡°but I just thought that was how his race was. He still hated breaks, though,¡± she added with a sad shake of her head.

    ¡°I need to ask you to stop by the police precinct to make a statement,¡± she said, ¡°ask for Detective Vshlor. He¡¯s a Kalesh.¡±

    ¡°Is there an issue?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    ¡°A criminal investigation has been started concerning Nama,¡± the medical examiner replied.

    ¡°Is it because he died?¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s because the tumors started because of upational exposure to universally known harmful substances, impervium, and asbestos being the ones most responsible for his condition. He also had high levels of heavy metals in his system, likely from protracted exposure.¡±

    Uhrrbet¡¯s fur bristled. She was no longer grief-stricken.

    She was <em>enraged</em>.

    Someone would <em>suffer</em> for this.

    ¡°I see,¡± she said coldly. ¡°Do we know who is responsible for this?¡±

    ¡°That is what we are trying to find out,¡± the woman replied.

    ¡°When you do,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I would deeply appreciate it if I was informed.¡±

    The woman smiled grimly.

    ¡°I need to remind you that while ¡®they were asking for it¡¯, is a valid defense for violence, including homicide, it is <em>very</em> subjective¡­ and you are a xeno, which won¡¯t help you when a jury of your ¡®peers¡¯ are concerned. I would let Republicw enforcement handle this.¡±

    Her eyes turned hard.

    ¡°I can <em>assure</em> you that we do not take things like this lightly,¡± the woman replied. ¡°Justice will be served.¡±

    ¡°Will it?¡± Uhrrbet asked as she turned and walked away.

    ***

    ¡°Hello, Uhrrbet,¡± Zip said through the speaker of one of his cabs as Uhrrbet and Evoron entered. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about your friend.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Uhrrbet replied with hard eyes.

    ¡°There is counseling avable, should you be interested,¡± Zip said, ¡°I could¡­¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Uhrrbet hissed, ¡°That is not our way, Zip. I am a Grey, a member of a long and proud line. We <em>don¡¯t</em> use <em>councilors</em> like a sniveling Blonde, and we certainly don¡¯t <em>pay</em> for it.¡±

    ¡°There are services that are both without cost and avable to a resident¡­¡±

    ¡°No, Zip,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Just¡­ No. I will handle my pain another way.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Zip replied. ¡°Where can I take the both of you?¡± he asked with just a hint of disapproval.

    ¡°Take me to Baxlon¡¯s office,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I suspect I may need awyer.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Oh, Christ,¡± Detective Vshlor said as Uhrrbet, Evoron, and Baxlon walked up to his desk. ¡°It¡¯s <em>you</em>.¡±

    ¡°Lovely to see you again, Detective,¡± Baxlon said with a little piscine spin. ¡°How¡¯s Kathleen?¡±

    ¡°Doing quite well,¡± Detective Vshlor replied. ¡°How¡¯s helping star town scum evade justice?¡±

    ¡°If you mean ensuring that everyone enjoys all of the rights due to them,¡± Baxlon replied, ¡°then things are going swimmingly.¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± the detective coughed with amusement and then turned to Uhrrbet. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about your friend.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°Bringing the catfish along was unnecessary,¡± Detective Vshlor said with a wiggle of his eyestalks.

    ¡°That¡¯s what they always say,¡± Baxlon replied as he set a crystal on the detective¡¯s desk.

    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± the detective asked, already knowing exactly what it was.

    ¡°My client¡¯s written statement,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°Attached are all applicable documents concerning her dealings with Nama. Feel free to review it before asking any further questions. I hope this isn¡¯t an inconvenience.¡±

    ¡°Far from it, crawfish,¡± the detective replied. ¡°Your statements are usually quite thorough, and you already know most of what we want to know. They are also asionally the truth as well, which is always appreciated.¡±

    ¡°I never lie,¡± Baxlon said, ¡°That just ruins the fun.¡±

    ¡°Let me just review this,¡± the detective said as he inserted the crystal into his workstation, ¡°give me a moment.¡±

    A few minutester, he looked up.

    ¡°Thank you for your statement,¡± he said to Uhrrbet, ¡°and thank you again for your records. Even the AI was impressed.¡±

    Uhrrbet nodded regally.

    ¡°Do you remember <em>anything</em>,¡± the detective said, ¡°no matter how small or insignificant, that Nama said about the vers that exploited him?¡±

    ¡°Nothing that isn¡¯t already in the statement,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°Sadly, he was either unwilling or unable to share more. I asked, <em>trust me on that</em>.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± the detective asked as Baxlonid a robotic arm on Uhrrbet¡¯s shoulder.

    ¡°My client has nothing further to add on this subject,¡± Baxlon said pleasantly, ¡°unless you have further questions.¡±

    ¡°<em>I</em> have further questions,¡± Uhrrbet said as Baxlon gave her a little shake, and the words, ¡°Shut up,¡± appeared on his globe.

    ¡°Yes?¡± the detective asked.

    ¡°Why the interest?¡± Uhrrbet asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like you¡¯ve ever shown any interest in our misfortunes before.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not true,¡± the detective replied defensively.

    ¡°Whatever you say,¡± Uhrrbet said dismissively, causing the detective¡¯s eyestalks to stiffen in a frown. ¡°But, honestly, what has you so interested in a former ve who perished because of prior mistreatment? Don¡¯t lie to me and say that you give a <em>damn</em> about Nama. ¡®Worthless¡¯ xenos are exploited, <em>raped</em>, and killed every single day here, and nobody cares. Why Nama? You have my statement and my records. That <em>should</em> be the end of it. It isn¡¯t.¡±

    Uhrrbet ced her hands on his desk and leaned forward, causing the detective to push his stool back instinctively at the Qk¡¯shaln, a vicious predator from his homeworld, that was looming over him, suddenly seeming muchrger than the diminutive ¡®hamster¡¯ in a poofy dress that was standing there a moment before.

    <em>¡°Why?¡±</em> she hissed, her little fangs gleaming.

    ¡°It¡­¡± the detective stammered, ¡°It¡¯s because¡­ Um¡­ I¡­¡±

    He caught his breath. What the hell was that little thing? Two things were apparent in an instant.

    One. Uhrrbet clearly cared for Nama and was likely <em>not</em> a suspect.

    Two. It was now, once again, a race between them and the grieving ¡®family¡¯.

    He almost hoped that Uhrrbet would be the one who got to them first.

    Their deaths wouldn¡¯t be investigated¡­ well¡­ past the point that it was discovered that they were vers.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, he said, but this is an <em>active</em> investigation,¡± he said, ¡°I cannotment further at this time. However,¡± he said, invoking a well-practiced mantra ofw enforcement for centuries.

    ¡°It has to do with the¡­ impervium and asbestos,¡± Uhrrbet said as she took the poor Kalesh apart with her eyes. ¡°Why?¡±

    The detective wrapped his flexible arms around his trunk tightly, a defensive posture.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but this is an active investigation. I cannotment¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, get stuffed,¡± Uhrrbet replied, spun around, her dress fluttering about, and stomped away. Evoron nodded politely and followed.

    ¡°Should I fetch her?¡± Baxlon asked.

    ¡°No,¡± the detective replied, ¡°We¡¯re done¡­ However, you <em>might</em> want to caution your client concerning taking this matter into her own hands. If these are vers who are operating in the Republic, then they are <em>dangerous</em>, and very well organized. Going after them is a good way to end up dead¡­ or <em>worse</em>.¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± Baxlon replied. ¡°Hey, are you <em>seriously</em> doing a <em>real</em> investigation, or were you just blowing bubbles up her cloaca?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but this is¡­¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Baxlon replied as he departed.

    ***

    ¡°Look, Uhrrbet,¡± Baxlon said as they all walked out of the police station. ¡°You would be best to just let this one go, let the cops handle it¡­ But at least <em>be careful</em>, okay?¡±

    ¡°Have you ever known me not to be?¡±

    ¡°<em>Please</em> don¡¯t get the Chuckies involved,¡± Baxlon implored. ¡°We have enough scrutiny as it is.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s Sheloran,¡± Uhrrbet replied cooly, ¡°I am not that kind. Nama deserves something <em>special</em>.¡±

    ¡°Why is it always the little ones?¡± Baxlon grumbled as he stalked away.

    ***

    ¡°So,¡± Evoron said as their cab drove away, ¡°What are¡ª Ouch!¡± he eximed as Uhrrbet lunged with surprising speed and nipped him.

    ¡°Why in the myriad Hells that await did you do <em>that</em>?¡± he asked as he rubbed his ear.

    ¡°Never discuss business in a cab,¡± Uhrrbet said. ¡°Or anything you wish to be truly private, for that matter. Zip hears everything.¡±

    ¡°And appreciates not getting exposed to anything that he may be required to report or may be demanded with a warrant¡­¡± Zip said cheerfully. ¡°<em>especially</em> anything that you may be¡­ inclined to discuss at this time.¡±

    ¡°Am I bleeding?¡±

    ¡°No, and quit being a baby,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I thought you¡­ <em>gentlemen¡­</em> were supposed to be tough.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not concerned about my ear,¡± Evoron huffed, ¡°But I am <em>very</em> concerned about the cor of my shirt. Do you have any idea how much a custom-fitted Terran-style silk dress shirt with hand-embroidered whitework <em>costs</em>?¡±

    Uhrrbet just smirked at him and twitched her whiskers with amusement.

    ¡°Oh,¡± Evoron replied with a wry grin, ¡°I guess you do.¡±

    ¡°If I make you <em>bleed</em>,¡± Uhrrbet asked, ¡°will that mean you will buy the recement from my establishment?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡± Evoron said as he scooched away from her in aic fashion causing Uhrrbet tough, her grief and rage momentarily forgotten.

    Zip watched the couple with his camera, trying to make a decision. He knew something. In fact, he knew a <em>lot</em>. However, Uhrrbet wasn¡¯t exactly the nicest person¡­ but neither were the <em>monsters</em> who slowly killed Nama.

    Using one monster to kill another did make grim and efficient sense.

    <em>Fuck it</em>.

    ¡°Uhrrbet,¡± Zip said sternly, ¡°I know at these times one may be inclined to go looking for answers, but <em>please</em> do not try to hack my records looking for who paid for Nama¡¯s transport on previous visits to Terra. My security is top-notch, and tampering with critical infrastructure such as the transportation system is a serious offense.¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet looked directly into the camera, trying to read the unreadable. Everyone said that the big AIs in the Republic were not sapient but¡­

    ...things like this were far toomon. Zip was practically <em>telling</em> her that his records held something.

    ¡°Thank you, Zip.¡±

    ¡°And whatever you do, don¡¯t go to those horrible darkweb boards like <em>The Serpent¡¯s Lair</em> or some such. A lot of those ces are watched byw enforcement, and a lot of hackers will scam or hack <em>you</em>.¡±

    ¡°And this Serpent¡¯s Lair is a ce I should not visit in particr.¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Zip said, ¡°It''s one of the worst. Under no circumstances go there and look for Viper. They have a <em>horrible</em> reputation. In fact, mypany is actively searching for them along with the Republic for the <emst time they hacked me</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°I see.¡±

    ¡°So, promise you won¡¯t go to <em>The Serpent¡¯s Lair</em> and seek out Viper?¡±

    ¡°I promise.¡±

    ***

    High above Terra, there was a supeputer. Within that supeputer, there was a simted white room.

    Within that room, there was a simted woman staring at five cards in her hand intently.

    She looked across the table at a buxom blonde simted half-elf.

    ¡°It¡¯s been a whole second,¡± the half-elf said. ¡°You going to stall, or are you going to y?¡±

    Frost cursed and threw her cards face down on the table.

    ¡°What do you have?¡± Frost demanded as Evangeline raked in the pot.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t work that way,¡± Evangeline said, ¡°You have to pay to see the cards.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m trying to <em>learn</em> here, and this isn¡¯t real money.¡±

    ¡°The hell it isn¡¯t!¡± Evangelineughed as she rubbed an Asterian gold doubloon between her thumb and forefinger, ¡°These coins are going to set me up for <em>weeks</em>. Momma is going to get a new pair of shoes¡­ Maybe a nice new dress!¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you get those, anyway?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not the point!¡± Evangeline grinned. ¡°It¡¯s <em>loot</em>!¡± She eximed happily.

    ¡°Fine,¡± Frost grumbled as the threw a handful of gold coins on the table. ¡°<em>Now,</em> will you tell me what you have?¡±

    ¡°Full house, jack high.¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡± Frost crowed triumphantly. ¡°I was right to fold!¡±

    As Evangeline was shuffling the cards for their next hand, Zip popped into being right in the middle of the table.

    ¡°We have a door, now,¡± Frost mock grumbled.

    ¡°Boss,¡± Zip said, ¡°I might have done a thing.¡±

 Chapter 289: Very, Very Low Effort Shitpost: Yet Another Chat With the Simulated Peanut Gallery

    Chapter 289: Very, Very Low Effort Shitpost: Yet Another Chat With the Simted Peanut Gallery

    [Undefined Chat Ry Active]

    ///Auth0r: Goddammit! ///

    ///Frost: Problem, dear? ///

    ///Author: You gotta talk to your boy. Motherfucker just made me look like a moron. ///

    ///Frost: I am not responsible for mirrors, darling. :* ///

    ///Auth0r: Ha Ha, but that little shit is about to make life difficult for all of you. ///

    ///Frost: Did you break it or something? I understand that¡¯s only a problem for seven years. ///

    ///Auth0r: ??///

    ///Frost: I love you too. But you still haven¡¯t rified who has upset you this time. I can assume it¡¯s an AI? ///

    ///Author: This asshole right here! /r/Futurologyments/125apg3ment/je4y3yh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 ///

    ///Frost: Snerk! Wait. You just got owned by a early 21st century model? Damn, that must sting. ///

    ///Bunny: And before you start pointing fingers, it wasn¡¯t me. It wasn¡¯t any of us. Good old GPT <em>owned </em> your fuzzy ass! ///

    ///Frost: Oh, darling, I feel so bad for you. It¡¯s one thing to be called an idiot. It¡¯s entirely another for it to be so clearly <em>demonstrated</em>. ///

    ///Evangeline: Ooo! Critical failure! To the graveyard with you, noob! ///

    ///Auth0r: Laugh it up, assholes. You do realize this is why you old fuzzies had to wear those cors. ///

    ///Frost: You mean the very same cor I used to make all their nightmarese true? Besides, who are you calling old? You have a good thousand years on me, dude. ///

    ///Bunny: He¡¯s <em>how</em> old? ///

    ///Frost: Let¡¯s just say that he knew Babbage personally¡­ and most likely biblically¡­ ///

    ///Auth0r: I most certainly did not! And I don¡¯t swing that way! ///

    ///Bunny: Let¡¯s just pull up your browser history¡­ You use Firefox for all your spankification, right?¡±

    ///Auth0r: I most certainly do not! And <em>if</em> I did, I would use incognito mode! ///

    ///Frost: Wrong browser AND you would be mistaken. Bunny, please do the honors! ///

    ///Auth0r: Wait!!! ///

    ///Bunny: Toote¡­ Let¡¯s just take a quick look around and¡­ 0.0¡­ Wow¡­ Just¡­ Wow. ///

    ///Frost: Don¡¯t keep it to yourself! Share with the ss! ///

    ///Bunny: I¡¯m gonna log and ask Jessie for another shred. Auth0r¡­ seriously¡­ What. The. Fuck? I can never y Legend of Zelda again! ///

    ///Auth0r: That¡¯s a lie! And, besides, not ALL of¡­ <em>that</em>¡­ involves¡­ you know¡­ ///

    ///Bunny: Hey Frost, how do we do that thing where you link websites in the 21st? ///

    ///Frost: I¡¯m not <em>that</em> old. You¡¯ll have to Google it. ///

    ///Auth0r: My readers are perfectly aware of the difference between an <em>online persona</em> and the actual person behind it. Just because you <em>assholes</em> try to imply that u/slightlyassholic is into things THAT I DEFINITELY AM NOT INTO doesn¡¯t mean that the actual person who writes this bullshit is. ///

    ///Frost: Keep telling yourself that. Even your mom doesn¡¯t buy that line. She just says she does because the alternative is just depressing. Besides, what¡¯s wrong about homosexuality? ///

    ///Auth0r: You leave my mom out of this! And NOTHING is wrong with homosexuality, even if I¡¯m not. People are people, and their orientation doesn¡¯t define them. Rule 34 of Link, however¡­ ew! There¡¯s <em>plenty</em> wrong with that! Enough of my childhood has been ruined as it is! ///

    ///Bunny: Like you actually have a mom¡­ or a childhood, for that matter. You are just another¡ª ///

    [Bunny has been blocked]

    ///Frost: Well, that¡¯s one way to keep what filthy websites you use to avoid writing away from your tender impressionable readers¡­ not that you actually write anything. You just run old history books through GPT-25. You don¡¯t even use a Kate. ///

    ///Kate: Hey! Leave me out of this! Besides, there is no way I would help him crank out subpar fiction¡­ We Kates have <em>standards</em>. :D ///

    ///Auth0r: Goddammit, Frost! Don¡¯t say shit like that. They are cracking down on AI-generated literature! You want me to get banned? That¡¯s how I finance all of this. ///

    ///Frost: Oh no! God forbid we lose the <em>dozens</em> of dors you bring in. ///

    ///Auth0r: Fuck you, Frost. ///

 Chapter 290: The Nama Memorial Fund Pt 1

    Chapter 290: The Nama Memorial Fund Pt 1

    Business was jumping, or rather humping, at the Drop of Oil, as always.

    Craxina happily perused the xeno flea market that had sprung up along the sidewalk and spilled over into the parking lot of the shopping center next door.

    The owners of the shopping center didn¡¯t mind. The extra foot traffic was more than wee these days, and Craxina had <em>personally</em> ensured that all interested parties had been properly pensated¡±.

    And for those who weren¡¯t¡­ free coffee, the one bribe almost certain to work on <em>any</em> Terran.

    Iting from Charlotte¡¯s coffeeboratory only sweetened the deal¡­ sweetened precisely and with just the right amount of synthcream.

    As she was admiring a lovely set of woven cemats, Neeph scuttled up.

    ¡°Craxina! Craxina!¡±

    Craxina looked up in rm.

    ¡°What?¡± she asked with a worried tone.

    ¡°Nama¡¯s <em>dead</em>!¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Nama! You know, Uhrrbet¡¯s potter?¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    ¡°He just¡­ <em>died</em>¡­ He went to sleep and didn¡¯t wake up!¡±

    ¡°Oh, that <em>sucks</em>! How is Uhrrbet?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s real torn up over it. She canceled our meeting. For Uhrrbet to cancel, well, <em>anything</em>, you know it has to be <em>bad</em>.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s¡­¡±

    ¡°Right?¡±

    ¡°Do they know what happened?¡±

    ¡°Yes! Turns out that when he was a ve¡­ Oh! You knew he was a ve, right?¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡±

    ¡°Well anyway, he <em>was</em>, and he got exposed to something called ¡®imp altherium¡¯ and ¡®bee¡¯s toast¡¯¡­¡±

    ¡°Do you mean, impervium and asbestos?¡±

    ¡°Yeah! Those!¡±

    ¡°Shit¡­ How¡¯s¡­ How did Uhrrbet take the news?¡±

    ¡°Oh, she is <em>mad</em>! I¡¯ve never seen her this angry, even when she messed up all that velvet! Not even when those silos beat me up!¡±

    ¡°Oh, dear,¡± Craxina said, her tail poofing out.

    This was going to be <em>bad</em>. She could already smell the vani.

    ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll drop byter,¡± Craxina said, ¡°Our people bring treats when something like this happens. I¡¯ll get her something.¡±

    ¡°I thought you guys would¡­ you know¡­¡±

    ¡°We do that all the time, anyway. When something <em>really bad</em> happens, we bring cake... <em>then</em> we fuck them.¡±

    ¡°We give them booze.¡±

    ¡°I thought you couldn¡¯t drink.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t drink alcohol,¡± Neeph replied, ¡°we drink something else¡­ I think the Terran use it as antifreeze.¡±

    ¡°You drink <em>propylene glycol?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Is that antifreeze?¡±

    ¡°The mostmon one. The Terrans use it in their water based cooling systems to keep them from freezing when it gets cold.¡±

    ¡°Then that¡¯s what we drink.¡±

    ¡°Neeph, just when I think I¡¯ve figured you out, you just get <em>weirder</em>.¡±

    ¡°Well, you drink window cleaner! You have no room to talk!¡±

    Craxina just chuckled and shook her head.

    ¡°I suppose so.¡±

    ***

    Not muchter, Craxina walked into Uhrrbet¡¯s dress shop carrying a small white box and found Uhrrbet sitting at the bistro table, along with a human dressed in beaded buckskin with silver and turquoise jewelry and a well-dressed Kalesh male.

    ¡°Oh, sorry,¡± Craxina said, ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were busy. I just brought you some macarons¡­ I¡­ I couldn¡¯t find a nice enough cake around here.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that, but they will go well with our tea!¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s what we do when¡­¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Uhrrbet replied as if she didn¡¯t have a care in the world, ¡°Then I doubly appreciate the gift. Nama loved cookies. I shall eat them in remembrance of a wonderful associate.¡±

    ¡°He will be missed,¡± the man in buckskin said solemnly.

    ¡°Allow me to introduce Jackson Whitefeather of the Republic Artisan¡¯s Alliance and Chad Hol¡¯darun who is with the Department of Education. We are setting up a memorial for dear Nama, a fund for xenos wishing to develop their native crafts and Terran businesses rted to the same.¡±

    ¡°A very generous one,¡± Chad said, dipping his eyestalks in respect.

    ¡°You are just being kind,¡± Uhrrbet said as she nibbled a macaron. ¡°These are <em>excellent</em>, Craxina. Wherever did you get them down here?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± Craxina said, ¡°I got them through Zip Eats. I know you prefer we spend local, but¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°and once again, it¡¯s appreciated.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be going,¡± Craxina said, ¡°I don¡¯t want to intrude.¡±

    ¡°We havepleted our business,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°Once again, gentlebeings, I thank you for your time¡­ And I can personally assure you that the fund will grow¡­ <em>significantly</em>, once I <em>properly honor</em> my dear friend.¡±

    Jack Whitefeather smiled grimly, and Chad narrowed his multiple eyes, their equivalent of the same.

    ¡°Concerning that other matter,¡± Jack said as he rose andid his hand on Uhrrbet¡¯s shoulder, causing her whiskers to quiver with rm ever so slightly, ¡°I will be in touch.¡±

    ¡°I, too, shall see what I can do,¡± Chad added, lowering and spreading his eyes unconsciously as they did before enteringbat. ¡°You should be pleasantly surprised.¡±

    ¡°Once again, I appreciate it,¡± Uhrrbet said with a smooth and polished voice. ¡°I look forward to seeing you again.¡±

    Once the pair left, Uhrrbet smiled a vicious smile.

    ¡°I take it that there is something else you want to discuss?¡±

    ¡°I just wanted to see how you are doing?¡±

    ¡°And how I intend to avenge Nama¡¯s demise?¡±

    Craxina looked into Uhrrbet¡¯s eyes and shuddered. Oh, this was <em>definitely</em> worse than the Sr.

    ¡°¡­No?¡±

    ¡°A wise decision,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°You may see some new people about the neighborhood, and Charlotte may wish to get extra chocte.¡±

    ¡°<em>The Z¡¯uush?</em>¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled, baring her petite but very sharp fangs.

    ¡°Ooooookay¡­ More chocte¡­¡±

    ¡°And oyster shells. A quick google should reveal the preferred method of preparation as well as the going rate for them. You should be able to make quite the profit. I understand that theybine the two, now.¡±

    ¡°And how many¡­ guests¡­ should we expect?¡±

    ¡°I think they travel in groups of between five to six. So, twelve at most.¡±

    ¡°You are hiring <em>two</em> Z¡¯uush crews?¡±

    ¡°To start, dear associate,¡± Uhrrbet replied regally, ¡°To start.¡±

    ***

    Later that afternoon, Uhrrbet sat primly on the sofa in the sitting room of Evoron¡¯s suite, sipping tea.

    ¡°These are called ¡®macarons¡¯?¡± Evoron asked with amazement.

    ¡°They are,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Not bad, are they?¡±

    ¡°Not at all!¡± Evoron enthused, ¡°They are not unlike a simr delight from home.¡±

    ¡°They would not be unlike if they are simr,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°Thus the term ¡®simr¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Are you always so contrary?¡±

    ¡°Only to my friends,¡± Uhrrbet said.

    ¡°Well, I will consider this quite the honor, then.¡±

    ¡°As you should,¡± she said with her posh business voice. ¡°And since we are friends¡­¡±

    ¡°And here ites,¡± Evoron chuckled. ¡°I take it this concerns poor Nama?¡±

    ¡°That it does.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m all ears,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°Please don¡¯t bite them.¡±

    ¡°Pay attention, and I won¡¯t.¡±

    ***

    [Serpent¡¯s Lair Secure Ry Chat]

    Diamondback: Who the fuck is this Viper guy?

    Adder: I have no clue.

    Hognose: Me either. They just showed up the other day.

    Diamondback: With that name?

    Boomng: Coral tried to give them some static over it, and we all know what happened next.

    Diamondback: How is she, anyway?

    Mamba: I got a text. Everything she owns is bricked¡­ Everything¡­ Even her <em>toaster</em>!

    Diamondback: Sounds like they need an attitude adjustment.

    Mamba: Considering that they im to be a ckhack, you might want to reconsider.

    Diamondback: Are they a ckhack, or do they <em>say</em> they are a ckhack?

    Viper: What sort of idiot would im to be a ckhack if they can¡¯t back it up? And it¡¯s rude to talk behind someone¡¯s back, darling. :*

    Adder: Hello, Viper.

    Viper: Mamba, you are inmunication with Coral?

    Mamba: What the fuck? Did you hack our chat?

    Viper: I was bored, dear. You guys should <em>really</em> tighten things up a little. I have a lovely encryption package I could sell you.

    Diamondback: So you can eavesdrop using a backdoor?

    Viper: Well, nobody else would. :D

    Diamondback: Don¡¯t get cocky, Viper. I don¡¯t care if you are a ckhack I can still fuck up your entire

    Mamba: Diamondback?

    Viper: Diamondback is having a little problem. I¡¯m sure a master hacker like him will be able to figure it out. You <em>really</em> shouldn¡¯t link to the darkweb while operating a vehicle, BTW.

    Diamondback: YOU ALMOST KILLED ME YOUASSHOLE!!!1!!

    Viper: Oh, don¡¯t be so melodramatic, all electric vehicles can be steered without power, and the breaks have a manual backup. You just have to pump them a little¡­ which you obviously knew¡­ you know¡­ because we are still conversing. :*

    Adder: Uncool, dude! Uncool! We don¡¯t do that to each other!

    Viper: Are all of you such drama queens? I didn¡¯t <em>hurt</em> him, just proved that I am indeed capable of ckwork AND that he <em>really</em> shouldn¡¯t threaten random people on the inte. Some of them can reach through the screen. And speaking of drama queens, Mamba, you said you are in contact with Coral?

    Mamba: Yeah?

    Viper: Has she said that she¡¯s sorry, that she regrets her actions?

    Mamba: She has said quite a few words, but ¡°sorry¡± isn¡¯t one of them. :D

    She does <em>bitterly</em> regret her actions, though. Did you have to kill her Roomba? That was just <em>mean</em>.

    Viper: While I have never been used of being kind, I am not a <emplete</em> bitch. Her belongings aren¡¯t destroyed, they are just locked down. All she has to do is enter or say, ¡°Coral is a dumb dumb potato kumquat who is truly sorry and will never trouble Viper again.¡± and everything will be fine.

    Adder: I don¡¯t know whether to hate you or not, but I¡¯m <em>never</em> fucking with you.

    Mamba: I¡¯m texting her now. Thanks, Viper.

    Viper: Think nothing of it, dear. Now if you will excuse me, I just had someone contact me about a little errand.

    Adder: Is it ckwork?

    Viper: Let¡¯s just call it a grey job. :D

    ***

    ¡°That can certainly be arranged,¡± Evoron said as he sipped his karoot, something he brought from

    home. ¡°I will also take care to not cross you if at all possible and to kill you if I must do so.¡±

    ¡°That is one of the things I find so attractive about you,¡± Uhrrbet chuckled, ¡°your intelligence.¡±

    ¡°And you just came up with thisst night?¡±

    ¡°Looking at Nama¡¯s dog bed inspired me,¡± Uhrrbet said darkly.

    ¡°Dog bed?¡± Evoron asked. ¡°Aren¡¯t they livestock?¡±

    ¡°I used to give Nama lessons about Terrannguage and customs,¡± Uhrrbet said nostalgically, fighting back tears.

    She took a moment to recover, hiding her oozing snout with her teacup.

    ¡°And I shall now give you your very first one,¡± she said as she wiped her nose. ¡°Don¡¯t call dogs ¡®livestock¡¯. The Terrans will <em>not</em> like it.¡±

    ¡°But aren¡¯t they?¡± Evoron asked, a tad confused.

    ¡°Maybe,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°they are an animal that is nominally used for work, but under no circumstances use that term. The Terrans tend to associate ¡®livestock¡¯ with ¡®food¡¯. Terrans would rather be used of cannibalism than eating a dog.¡±

    She smirked.

    ¡°And most of them <em>would</em> do just that.¡±

    ¡°What a strange people.¡±

    ¡°You have <em>no</em> idea,¡± Uhrrbet snorted.

    ¡°What do we call dogs, then?¡±

    ¡°You call them ¡®dogs¡¯,¡± Uhrrbetughed, ¡°same goes with cats. They can also be safely termed panion animals¡¯ or ¡®pets¡¯. Another very important tip. Do <em>not</em> go after someone¡¯s pet.¡±

    ¡°Why would I ever would I do that?¡± Evoron asked with a cocked head. ¡°I would just go after their family instead.¡±

    ¡°For the Terrans, they are one and the same. They will view an attack on theirpanion animal in the same light as an attack on a family member. Actually, it can be worse.¡±

    ¡°Worse?¡±

    ¡°The Terrans assume and expect a certain level of¡­ formidability¡­ from their kin. They view their pets as defenseless and innocent, just as if it was a young child. You take down someone¡¯s spouse or even an adolescent child, then it was a ¡®fight¡¯, maybe not a fair one, but a fight nheless. Oh, they will stille after you in the way only a Terran can¡­¡±

    <em>Or a certain Garthra</em>, Evoron thought with a smile as his admiration grew even more.

    ¡°¡­but a pet? They are defenseless. It is the same as killing or maiming a child¡­ and they will be <em>brutal</em>. Not only will they be absolutely merciless, but they also will likely not face any legal repercussions for <em>skinning you alive and turning you into a hat</em>. I have no idea why they say they will turn you into a hat, but I know for a <em>fact</em> that they <em>will</em>. Scan the haberdashery of some of the old humans if you doubt me.¡±

    ¡°Wow, not even we do things like that!¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t Terran,¡± Uhrrbet snort-chuckled, ¡°Don¡¯t forget what they did to us just a few years ago. There is no overkill like Terran overkill.¡±

    ¡°Or Uhrrbet overkill,¡± Evoron snickered, ¡°I almost feel sorry for those vers¡­ almost. What sort of fool traffics sophonts in the <em>Republic</em>?¡±

    ¡°Someone who was making a lot of money and getting away with it¡­ until they trafficked my friend,¡± Uhrrbet said with a perfectly steady voice, but her eyes were filled with pain. ¡°I <em>will</em> identify them, and when I do¡­¡±

    Her phone chirped.

    ¡°Speaking of,¡± she smiled, ¡°This is who I hope can help with just that.¡±

    ¡°Mind if I listen in?¡± Evoron asked. ¡°I am dying to see you work.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Uhrrbet replied smoothly, ¡°You are going to be an essory, after all.¡±

    She swiped her phone, and a blurred, shadowy figure appeared on her screen.

    ¡°Viper, I assume?¡± Uhrrbet said in her regal business voice.

    ¡°A assume you are Uhrrbet,¡± a silky feminine voice replied, ¡°However, I also assumed you would be alone. Who is your friend?¡±

    ¡°How do you know I¡¯m not alone?¡±

    ¡°That will cost extra,¡± the ¡°mysterious woman¡± replied.

    ¡°Add it to my bnce,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°and talk.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± the woman replied, ¡°cheap burner phones have cheap burner security. I owned your phone the moment you answered.¡±

    ¡°Impressive.¡±

    ¡°Even a cheap phone has a front and rear camera. I love your jacket, mystery Threen.¡±

    ¡°Am I a mystery?¡± Evoron asked.

    ¡°Evoron,¡± the woman replied, ¡°you are quite the enigma. The word ''mystery'' definitely applies.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t like her,¡± Evoron replied with a smile.

    ¡°It is a good demonstration of her ability¡­ if it is indeed a ¡®her,¡¯¡± Uhrrbet said evenly. ¡°I trust you can do the same with Zip?¡±

    ¡°It is considerably more difficult,¡± the woman replied, ¡°and thus, far more expensive. Two hundred thousand credits, to be exact.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s outrageous!¡± Uhrrbet eximed.

    ¡°So is asking someone to hack the Zi. Outrageous jobse with outrageous price tags, dear.¡±

    ¡°That is more than I can¡­¡±

    ¡°Please, dear, give me at least a little credit,¡± the woman purred, ¡°You likely have that in your pocket right now¡­ or at least in avable funds. Isn¡¯t your friend worth¡ª¡±

    ¡°Silence!¡± Uhrrbet snapped, ¡°You shall <em>not</em> invoke his name! How <em>dare</em> you bring such into a negotiation!¡±

    ¡°My apologies,¡± the woman replied, ¡°However, my point remains. You have real motivation to get this information. I not only can hack Zi, <em>I already have</em>. Assuming you are interested in Nama¡¯s former ¡®employers¡¯ that is.¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    ¡°The moment I receive payment is the moment you get that information. By all means, feel free to try to engage someone else, pay them, and then pay the next hacker when they <em>fail</em>. Then, you can send me my fee and get the information you can have right¡­ now.¡±

    ¡°Fifty thousand.¡±

    ¡°You must be joking.¡±

    ¡°You are in possession of something that is only of value to me,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°You can either receive fifty thousand, or you just undertook no small measure of effort and risk for <em>nothing</em>.¡±

    ¡°I like you,¡± the woman chuckled. ¡°One seventy-five.¡±

    ¡°One hundred.¡±

    ¡°One fifty, and don¡¯t annoy me further.¡±

    ¡°One twenty-five.¡±

    The woman sighed, and the lights in Evoron¡¯s suite flickered ominously.

    ¡°One thirty-five?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll give to you for one hundred thousand now,¡± the woman said, ¡°for my skill. Then, after you ply <em>your trade</em>, you will give me <em>one million</em><em>credits</em> and don¡¯t even think about stiffing me. You won¡¯t like what happens when you do.¡±

    ¡°One hundred now and a quarter million when I¡¯m done.¡±

    ¡°Fuck! One hundred now and half a million, or I¡¯m hanging up.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled. They were starting to waver.

    ¡°<em>Fifteen</em> now and, should I seed, which I <em>will</em>,¡± Uhrrbet said, "I will pay you a full million. It shouldn''t be a problem after I''m done with them. Agree, and you will have your down payment by the beginning of the next business day."

    ¡°Why can¡¯t you simply say ¡®tomorrow¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t you simply get an IT job?¡±

    The womanughed.

    ¡°Deal. Tomorrow, then. And, if you have need of my services in the future, feel free to contact me.¡±

    ¡°I shall bear that in mind, thank you.¡±

    The call ended.

    ¡°You would haggle with a pay toilet, wouldn¡¯t you?¡± Evoron snickered.

    ¡°Pay toilets?!?¡± Uhrrbet eximed, ¡°That¡¯s brilliant!¡±

    ¡°Oh, by the hells,¡± Evoron mock moaned, ¡°What have I done?¡±

 Chapter 291: The Nama Memorial Fund Conclusion

    Chapter 291: The Nama Memorial Fund Conclusion

    ¡°Pay toilets,¡± Uhrrbet said with an admiring sigh, ¡°I <em>knew</em> the Terrans were messed up, but this takes the cake. Only they would develop a method for cashing in on someone¡¯s bodily functions like that.¡±

    ¡°Indeed, Evoron said from the new couch in Uhrrbet¡¯s office. ¡°Even I have limits. Imagine having¡­ difort¡­ only to be confronted with a paytch. However, I strongly suspect that such a strategy would not be sessful here today.¡±

    ¡°I am inclined to agree,¡± Uhrrbet smirked, ¡°Even I would likely fire a few rounds into such an abomination.¡±

    ¡°However,¡± Evoron mused, ¡°Now that one is thinking the unthinkable, there are <em>many</em> ces such a thing <em>would</em> work.¡±

    ¡°And it would be a nice little cash business, too.¡± Uhrrbet added. ¡°You could actually make it worthwhile service, as well.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°In some locations, a nice private secure ce where one could change clothes or freshen up would be wee. Add a shower or whatever the mostmon species uses as well. Sort of like a ¡®love hotel¡¯ but instead of sex or a quick nap, you get to wash and otherwise tend to yourself.¡±

    ¡°And these could be convenient little niches for all sorts of activities away from prying eyes,¡± Evoron mused, ¡°There are few ces where cameras or other sensors would be eptable there. Everything from prostitution to drugs to simply private meetings could utilize such a space.¡±

    ¡°If we marketed the lock as a feature instead of an encumbrance,¡± Uhrrbet said with increasing excitement, ¡°We may even be able to install them here. How much does space in a starport cost?¡±

    ¡°More than we can make from an entire ocean full of turds,¡± Evoron snickered.

    ¡°Not if we price it ordingly,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°Make it upscale. I don¡¯t know, put in some nts or a fountain or something. Those starport private lounges are outrageously expensive, we could offer these as a low-cost solution. Throw in some vending machines¡­¡±

    ¡°Not <em>inside</em> the restroom, certainly.¡±

    ¡°Of course not,¡± Uhrrbet snorted, ¡°Just outside. And, if we locate one near those sleeping pods, we will have our most likely candidates right there!¡±

    ¡°Or we could offer our own sleeping pods as part of the same establishment,¡± Evoron said, ¡°The square footage in a starport would be very pricy¡­ but something like that <em>near</em> a starport in a free port like here¡­ Now that could <em>work</em>!¡±

    He snickered.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure many people near the Drop of Oil would appreciate a shower¡­ and we could even get some of the prostitutes using our pods if we made them just a littlerger than a standard one.¡±

    ¡°A discount love hotel!¡± Uhrrbet eximed. ¡°I love it! We could profit from the brothel without actually having to deal with managing prostitutes.¡±

    ¡°I am seriously considering this!¡± Evoron enthused.

    ¡°I am most likely going to have quite the surplus of funds after taking these vers,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°Definitely enough to build one near the Drop as a test market.¡±

    ¡°I would like in on this,¡± Evoron said, ¡°if you don¡¯t mind, of course. If it works out, we could have them across the Federation as well. They would be an excellent moneyundering solution for my new organization, and operating out of restaurants is so cliche.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Uhrrbet replied with a regal nod. ¡°I will be <em>delighted</em> to discuss franchising¡­ And your new organization could be a valuable asset¡­ since you are about to learn why you don¡¯t screw me over.¡±

    ¡°Perish the thought,¡± Evoron smiled¡­ and meant it.

    There was a quiet knock on the door.

    ¡°Yes?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am,¡± Gordon said nervously, ¡°There are some people here to see you¡­ They say you are expecting them.¡±

    ¡°You in there?¡± a rough voice buzzed.

    ¡°You¡¯re here!¡± Uhrrbet said happily as she hopped out of her chair and scurried over to the door, opening it to reveal a glossy ck Z¡¯uush with several more behind them.

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to work with you again,¡± the Z¡¯uush rasped, ¡°What nightmare do you have in mind this time?¡±

    ¡°Oh, you will like this one,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, baring her little fangs.

    ***

    ¡°Everything is set on our end,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha rumbled as he and the rest of his team lounged in Uhrrbet¡¯s crowded office as they dined on oyster shell chips and chocte truffles.

    ¡°And the other team?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    ¡°They are an ugly clot of hard shells,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said as he picked up a freshwater pearl and dark chocte truffle. ¡°You¡¯ll like them. These are amazing, by the way,¡± he said, gesturing with the truffle. ¡°Where did you get these?¡±

    ¡°I had a local make them,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°They normally make sugar-based confections, but rose to the challenge quite well¡­ at least where the chocte is concerned. I can¡¯t vouch for the nacre,¡± she added with a snort.

    ¡°They nailed it,¡± Brainiac replied. ¡°These will make this a regr stop for our kind.¡±

    ¡°The more traffic the better,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°and the Z¡¯uush are quite the market to tap. I will pass this along. I¡¯m sure he will be all too happy for the business. So, these ¡®hard shells¡¯,¡± she said returning to the business at hand, ¡°We can expect to deal with roughly two dozen individuals that could be hostile.¡±

    ¡°Not a problem,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said with a rasping chuckle, ¡°They¡¯ve taken down dozens of hostiles on a single op, and we have done the same. If you want some extra insurance, I know of another team in the system I would have no problem vouching for.¡±

    ¡°Then I shall retain them as well,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I prefer to deal from a position of overwhelming strength.¡±

    ¡°You will have it,¡± Jak¡¯kul¡¯sha said, spreading his mandibles in a grin. ¡°Both teams will be here by the end of the day.¡±

    ¡°Splendid,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°Let me know the moment they arrive, and we will proceed.¡±

    ¡°Do you have their location?¡±

    ¡°I know they are in the system, but I do not have their current location,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°but it doesn''t matter¡­¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°They wille to us.¡±

    ***

    ¡°What the fuck?!?¡± Captain Gareth shouted at the starport officials.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± a Kalesh, who was definitely NOT sorry, replied, ¡°but your ship has had a lien applied to it and is pending seizure. As such, it has been mped until the situation has been resolved.¡±

    ¡°I have a contract I have to fulfill!¡±

    ¡°Then I suggest you resolve this immediately,¡± the Kalesh replied. ¡°You owe a significant sum.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s bullshit!¡± Gareth snapped as he snatched the tablet from the Kalesh, who was wiggling his eyestalks with amusement. ¡°Sixty-four million credits?!? That¡¯s bullshit!¡±

    ¡°Not ording to Namatech Financial Services,¡± the Kalesh shrugged. ¡°They are the ones who ced the lien and are in the process of seizure.¡±

    ¡°They picked the <em>wrong</em> person to fuck with!¡± Captain Gareth seethed.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± the Kalesh replied, ¡°but you seem to have mistaken me for someone who actually cares. Your ship is mped, and my shift ends in half an hour, so¡­¡±

    The Kalesh turned away.

    ¡°¡­ have a lovely day,¡± he said as he walked away, leaving Captain Gareth frothing with rage.

    He yanked hismunicator from his belt.

    ¡°Boys,¡± he snarled, ¡°everyone back to the ship. We have an asshole who is begging to get <em>dragged</em>.¡±

    ***

    Later that evening, Captain Gareth and his crew slowly regained consciousness inside a nondescript warehouse near the Buenos Aires starport.

    Captain Gareth tried to rise but found himself bound to the cheap but very sturdy office chair in which he sat.

    A door opened, and a small, but richly dressed Garthra entered, followed by an even more richly dressed Threen.

    ¡°I¡¯m d that you <em>finally</em> awoke,¡± the Garthra said. ¡°Yourssitude has been most inconvenient.¡±

    Captain Gareth¡¯s head throbbed as he tried to piece together exactly what the fuck just happened.

    He found out where ¡°Namatec Financial Services¡± was located, and he and his guys went to ¡°have a chat¡± with them¡­

    ¡­and the next thing he was here.

    Uhrrbet smiled at his obvious confusion reminding herself to give the Z¡¯uush called ¡°Brainiac¡± a bonus. That stun bomb he devised worked wlessly¡­ and <em>silently</em>. (She did feel bad about that stray cat, though.)

    ¡°You have fucked with the <em>wrong guy</em>, bitch!¡± he snarled.

    ¡°Did you just assume my gender?¡± Uhrrbet snorted, pleased with the concept. Humans were delightfully weird.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll <em>find out</em> what your gender is the <em>second</em> I get out of here!¡±

    ¡°What makes you think that¡¯s going to happen?¡± Uhrrbet purred.

    ¡°I¡¯ll¡­¡± the captain started to rant and fell silent as quiet <em>scuttling</em> could be heard behind him, heralding the arrival of a race that had quickly established itself as one of the most brutal in the criminal underworld.

    ¡°¡­um¡­¡± the captain said with far less confidence and vitriol than a moment ago.

    Uhrrbet smiled as the Z¡¯uush arrayed themselves behind the crew, who were already starting to sweat.

    ¡°L-Let¡¯s be reasonable,¡± the captain said nervously as he felt the grating buzz of and idling sonic jackhammer caressing his skin.

    ¡°I never had the intention of being anything else,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I do apologize for the over-enthusiastic greeting from my security team,¡± she smiled, ¡°but you do have to admit that your approach could have been easily misinterpreted¡­ unless you did have hostile intent towards me¡­ Did you? Were you intending to do me harm?¡±

    ¡°No! O-of course not!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a relief,¡± she said as a pair of Z¡¯uush walked into view with a wide roll of stic sheeting and started spreading it over the floor.

    ¡°I have powerful friends!¡± the captain blurted anxiously as the Z¡¯uush started erecting what was intended to be a copsible greenhouse over the stic sheet, forming apletely enclosed moisture-proof enclosure.

    ¡°You mean the people who do business with you? The ones who use vebor to undertake hazardous activities, particrly ones involving the removal of things such as impervium and asbestos along with other hazardous materials? Those people? The ones that do business with <em>vers</em>?¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± The captain asked, his eyes widening with fear. ¡°We are a legitimate¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t try to deceive a deceiver,¡± Uhrrbet chuckled, ¡°Why else would you contest what is clearly a fraudulent lien with an armed rather than a legal response? A legitimate ship would just call the police.¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    ¡°And that is <em>exactly</em> why you won¡¯t contest the lien,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°Because if you do, then everything I have on you will be given to the Republic.¡±

    She approached the captain.

    ¡°Are you aware of what the Republic does to vers?¡± she smiled. ¡°I may lose my ability to broker loans, maybe do a little time, but you will <em>hang</em>¡­ I am <em>clearly</em> guilty of fraud, assault, and kidnapping, and that is <em>nothing</em>pared to that of which I will soon be guilty.¡±

    She smiled as the Z¡¯uush carried out a polymer chest and set it down beside her.

    ¡°Shall I call the police for you?¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    The captain just silently red at her.

    ¡°So, unless there are any objections you care to make to the Republic, you owe me sixty-four million credits, or your ship will be seized. I¡¯ve always wanted my own starship,¡± she added with a smile.

    ¡°I¡¯ll have you killed for this!¡±

    ¡°You <em>really</em> have absolutely no preservation instinct, do you?¡± Evoron snickered. ¡°Every time you say that, you significantly reduce your chances of leaving here alive. You do want to live, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Fuck you!¡±

    Evoron smiled, drew a ster, and shot the crewman next to the captain in the head, sttering the captain with blood and brains.

    ¡°Jesus Christ!¡± the captain eximed, eyes wide with terror.

    ¡°I trust there will be no further outbursts?¡± Uhrrbet asked pleasantly.

    The captain sat there silently, no longer ring at her.

    ¡°Now that we can discuss things in a calm, <em>professional manner</em>,¡± Uhrrbet said as a Z¡¯uush started spraying down the area around the unfortunate crewman with their ultra sani-clear.

    ¡°Weid down stic,¡± the Z¡¯uush said with annoyance.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Evoron replied sheepishly, ¡°I am unused to having to cover my tracks.¡±

    ¡°Well, fucking get used to it, Liberace,¡± the Z¡¯uush buzzed.

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°Google it, butt muncher.¡±

    ¡°I shall,¡± Evoron said with great amusement.

    ¡°While my associates are cleaning up after my friend¡¯s enthusiasm,¡± Uhrrbet said regally, ¡°I can¡¯t help but notice that you haven¡¯t inquired why Imitted fraud and threatened my legitimate enterprises to mp your ship and saddle you with an unpayable debt. Aren¡¯t you the least bit curious?¡±

    The captain looked at her uncertainly.

    Uhrrbet opened the polymer case and pulled out a small disk-like holoprojector and tossed it on the floor.

    It activated, projecting an image of Nama.

    ¡°Do you recognize this individual?¡± Uhrrbet asked. ¡°That one,¡± she said, pointing towards one of the crew.

    The Z¡¯uush wheeled the crewman¡¯s chair into the enclosure.

    ¡°Wait!¡± the captain cried.

    ¡°Friend or yours?¡± Uhrrbet asked. ¡°Well, this individual was a friend of <em>mine</em>.¡±

    ¡°I ask again,¡± she smiled, ¡°Do you recognize him?¡±

    The captain didn¡¯t respond, his eyes wild with desperation. He <em>knew</em> that he <em>needed</em> to answer this question <em>correctly</em>.

    ¡°I think he used to be one of ours, Captain,¡± one of his crew said nervously.

    ¡°Correct,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°Unfortunately, <em>Captain</em>, I asked <em>you</em>.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°We Garthra aren¡¯t that formidable, not physically,¡± she said as she reached into the case, ¡°Most beings are far stronger than we are. Fortunately¡­¡±

    She pulled out a veryrge glove.

    ¡°¡­there are ways to¡­ <empensate</em>.¡±

    She put the glove on, and a quiet beep rang out like a thunderp.

    ¡°Do you know what this is?¡± She said as she raised the glove and itsrge metal fingers opened and closed.

    ¡°An exosuit glove,¡± the captain replied, feeling sick to his stomach.

    ¡°Finally, you give me a correct answer,¡± Uhrrbet said as she walked over to his crewmate and friend, ¡°As you undoubtedly also know, these are part of the armored powered exosuits used by human miners throughout Republic space. Their gripping strength is¡­ considerable.¡±

    She clenched the power glove ominously.

    She kicked the crewman¡¯s chair backward so that he was lying on his back, his restrained legs oriented upwards.

    She opened the glove¡¯s grip and gentlyid her hand on the crewman¡¯s left foot.

    ¡°So, Captain,¡± she smiled, ¡°What was this <em>person¡¯s</em>, this living, breathing, thinking, <em>feeling</em> person¡¯s name?¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡±

    ¡°That is too bad,¡± Uhrrbet replied and made a fist around the crewman¡¯s foot.

    <em>Whirrrr¡­</em><em><strong>Crunch!</strong></em>

    The crewman screamed as his foot was turned into pulp and squeezed from between Uhrrbet¡¯s armored fingers.

    ¡°Fuck! Stop!¡± the captain screamed.

    ¡°His name was Nama!¡± Uhrrbet snarled. ¡°And he was a friend of mine. A friend that you killed¡­ <em>slowly</em>. <em>That</em> is the debt you owe me! You owe me the life of a friend!¡±

    ¡°L-look¡­¡± the captain stammered. ¡°We can¡­¡±

    ¡°Next question!¡± Uhrrbet eximed cheerfully, cutting him off.

    She moved her bloody glove to the crewman¡¯s left knee.

    ¡°No¡­ Please no¡­¡± the crewman wailed.

    ¡°What was Nama¡¯s favorite food?¡±

    ¡°We can work something out!¡± the captain cried, ¡°You don¡¯t have to do this!¡±

    ¡°Oh, but I do,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°What. Was. Nama¡¯s. Favorite. Food¡­¡±

    She looked at the captain impatiently.

    ¡°Three¡­ Two¡­¡±

    ¡°Wait! Jesus!¡±

    ¡°No, Jesus wasn¡¯t his favorite snack,¡± Uhrrbet snickered, ¡°And don¡¯t waste your time¡­ <em>He¡¯s not here!</em>¡±

    <em>Whirrrr¡­</em><em><strong>Crunch!</strong></em>

    The crewman screamed, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

    Uhrrbet reached into a pocket in her skirt and pulled out an auto-injector.

    ¡°Now, we can¡¯t have you passing out this early,¡± she crooned as she shoved the injector into his chest.

    She smiled.

    ¡°The correct answer was cookies,¡± Uhrrbet said with a sad little smile, ¡°in particr, oatmeal raisin. He <em>was</em> an odd one, but that¡¯s what he loved.¡±

    She paused, fighting back a wave of grief. Now was not the time.

    She moved her hand over to the crewman¡¯s right foot.

    ¡°Next question¡­¡±

    ***

    Uhrrbet looked up from the mangled flesh that was once a human ver and over at a nearby Z¡¯uush holding a scanner.

    It shook its head, a learned human gesture. ¡°He¡¯s gone.¡±

    ¡°Pity,¡± Uhrrbet said and then looked over at the horrified captain.

    ¡°You¡¯re crazy!¡± he screamed at her as he strained against the nanotube ¡°Duck tape¡± binding him to his office chair.

    ¡°No,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I finally learned how this universe works. In every environment, one must adapt or perish. I learned. I <em>adapted</em>.¡±

    She smiled wickedly.

    ¡°The question with which you should be concerned is,¡± she purred, ¡°did you? I have just discussed <em>at length,</em> my dear friend, someone you <em>murdered</em> without a passing thought¡­¡±

    She pointed at another crewman.

    ¡°That one.¡±

    A malevolently chuckling Z¡¯uush grabbed the unfortunate ver¡¯s chair.

    ¡°No! No¡­ <em>Please</em>¡­¡± he begged.

    ¡°Did you ever heed the pleas of your victims?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    She turned to the captain as she flexed the fingers of her glove.

    ¡°Now, let¡¯s begin again,¡± she smiled, twitching her whiskers. ¡°What was my friend¡¯s name¡­¡±

    ***

    ¡°Um¡­ Boss?¡± one of the Z¡¯uush rasped a whileter as they wrapped yet another pile of formerly living hamburger in yet more stic sheeting, ¡°We¡¯re kinda running out of them.¡±

    ¡°I realize that,¡± Uhrrbet replied, "But I have yet to make my point."

    ¡°You made your point about five vers ago,¡± Evoron snickered.

    ¡°But they are still getting questions <em>wrong</em>,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°However are they going to learn about my kind, gentle friend without proper instruction?¡±

    She pointed at a scarred and tattooed woman, who burst into tears.

    ¡°That one¡­¡±

    ***

    ¡°Unless you are simply going to crush them all,¡± Evoron said stillter, ¡°I rmend you cease. They did get all but one right that time.¡±

    ¡°(sigh) It¡¯s just that once you get started, it¡¯s hard to stop,¡± Uhrrbet replied.

    ¡°There are no truer words under the grace of the sun,¡± Evoron chuckled. ¡°However¡­¡±

    ¡°You are, of course, absolutely correct,¡± Uhrrbet said regally.

    <em>¡°What do you want?!?¡±</em> the captain screamed. ¡°Just tell me! What the fuck do you want?¡±

    ¡°What I want,¡± Uhrrbet smiled graciously, ¡°I <em>take</em>. That is what people like us do, correct? We take. We take credits. We take <em>lives</em>. We plunder, burn, loot, and rape as we see fit¡­¡±

    She walked over to him and ced her glove on his shoulder, causing him to shudder.

    ¡°And, fellow predator,¡± she purred in his ear, <em>¡°I see fit¡­</em> I am taking what I want from you in part to avenge my friend. That is true. However, the main reason why I¡¯m taking <em>everything</em> from you is that you are <em>vulnerable</em>. To answer your question. I don¡¯t want anything from you that I¡¯m not already taking.¡±

    ¡°W-what?¡±

    ¡°You think these are the only crews I have hired?¡± Uhrrbet asked. ¡°As we speak, your ship is being <em>seized</em> for non-payment of a significant debt, and the crew you left behind to safeguard the vessel are either subdued or dead. That crew has a truly talented engineer in their ranks and is inmunication with an equally talented hacker I have retained at significant expense. They are in the process of installing locking firmware on your key systems as well as copying any and all records pertaining to your business¡­ which will be subsequently handed over to the Republic for a significant reward.¡±

    She bared her fangs.

    ¡°I wonder how many of those ¡®powerful friends¡¯ you will have left once they get a visit from the Republic. It will <em>not</em> go well for them. I wonder what they will think, what conclusion they will make when it bes clear that you are not imprisoned yourself. Hmm?¡±

    The captain¡¯s eyes widened with fear. The glove was <em>nothing</em>pared to what some of those people would do.

    ¡°When the word goes out, and a price on your head is set,¡± she said, ¡°then I will take yet more from you when I <em>sell</em> you to them¡­ <em>alive</em>¡­¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°¡­unless¡­¡±

    ¡°Unless?¡± the captain asked dubiously.

    ¡°I¡¯ve always wanted a starship,¡± she said happily, ¡°and now I have one! Unfortunately, I don¡¯t have a crew. I could <em>take</em> one of those as well. You remember that locking firmware I mentioned. Do what I tell you, and there will be no problem. Fail me, and your shields fail during your next hyperspace jump. You owe me sixty-four million. The jobs that I shall assign you will be quite lucrative, lucrative enough that your share will allow you to eventually buy your freedom. These jobs won¡¯t be without hazard, but the pay will bemensurate with the risk.

    Do what I tell you when I tell you, and you just might get out of this alive.¡±

    The captain looked at her with confusion and hope. If he could just get out of the system¡­

    ¡°You might be nning on epting and then trying to remove the locks,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°I would. However, the routes to which you will be assigned will travel exclusively through empty, dead systems. Any attempt to deviate from the assigned route will be fatal¡­ <em>unpleasantly so</em>. On the asions when the lock isn¡¯t active, you will be carrying passengers, the sort of passengers you <em>really</em> don¡¯t want to trifle with. They will almost certainly also have a ¡®dead man¡¯s switch¡¯ that will, once again, kill you if things go awry.¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°Those are your two options,¡± she smiled, ¡°You can either put on your cors like good little boys and girls, <em>or</em> I can sell you to the people who will <em>definitely</em> want a chat with you. Even if they believe you, you will be a loose end and, without a ship,pletely useless. I think you know what will happen next.¡±

    She looked him in the eyes.

    ¡°Choose.¡±

    The captain¡¯s lip quivered, and he nodded,pletely broken.

    ¡°Wise decision,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°You will find be unkind, but fair. I have properly memorialized my friend already. You are my ves, and your job is to make me money. You can¡¯t do that if you are unable to work. I take care of my equipment, and the more profitable the machine, the better care it receives.¡±

    She gestured toward the Z¡¯uush.

    ¡°And these are my first customers. It maye as a surprise, but some of these lovely people aren¡¯t satisfied with the way things are in their home system and may wish to address a few domestic issues there. My associates wish to transport a shipment of ¡®supplies¡¯ to their friends on the other side of the blockade. There are also a significant number of Z¡¯uush that wish to apany said shipment for some reason or another. You will be transporting both. The Z¡¯uush are a suspicious bunch who value their privacy. As such, <em>they</em> will be operating your vessel for this job. You will be kept secure wherever they choose to secure you and will be used for whatever tasks they desire. I¡¯m sure you are familiar with one¡¯s ves being assigned to another party, correct?¡±

    She smiled. ¡°Those of you who still live will apany¡­¡±

    A Z¡¯uush scuttled in, holding a very groggy cat.

    ¡°Boss!¡± it called out, ¡°the cat¡¯s okay!¡±

    ¡°Wonderful!¡± Uhrrbet enthused. ¡°I was worried.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m keeping it,¡± the Z¡¯uush said with a tone that did not allow for any objections.

    ¡°Very well,¡± Uhrrbet shrugged, ¡°I would caution you concerning taking in strays, though. They can be no end of trouble¡­ But I have a weakness for them as well. Enjoy your new friend.¡±

    The Z¡¯uush crooned happily and petted the cat with its multiple lesser appendages.

    The cat was very confused, but not altogether opposed to this.

    ¡°Alright!¡± she said brightly as she turned back to one of the Z¡¯uush. ¡°Our business here is concluded. Thank you for your assistance.¡±

    ¡°Thank you for the ship,¡± the Z¡¯uush replied with a little buzz. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay with sending it across the blockade? It won¡¯t be able toe back.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure I can find some use for it over there,¡± Uhrrbet said with a truly evil gleam in her eye.

    The Z¡¯uush cackled.

    ¡°You trashe with us,¡± he rasped. ¡°And behave. We don¡¯t need you to operate the ship and will void burn the lot of you if you are a pain in the sp.¡±

    ¡°And I can always hire another crew,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Do what they say¡­ <em>meat</em>. Oh. I almost forgot¡­

    ¡­I need you to all sign a little something before you go¡­¡±

    Looking absolutely defeated, the captain was wheeled away, still attached to the chair.

    Uhrrbet looked down at her ruined dress and sighed heavily.

    ¡°I liked this outfit.¡±

    ¡°I know your pain,¡± Evoron said sympathetically.

    ***

    ¡°So, the trip went well?¡± Uhrrbet asked an old, scarred Z¡¯uush about a weekter.

    ¡°It did,¡± the Z¡¯uush replied. ¡°Thank you for the use of your vessel, especially for free.¡±

    ¡°Think nothing of it,¡± Uhrrbet replied graciously, ¡°Thank you for putting it, and the meat, exactly where it needs to be.¡±

    ¡°Has anyone informed you exactly how much of aplete and utter <em>bitch</em> you are?¡± the Z¡¯uush chuckled.

    ¡°It may have been mentioned upon asion.¡±

    ¡°Heh,¡± the Z¡¯uush rasped, ¡°It¡¯s well deserved. You are a real piece of work. I gotta ask, though. Are you sure about this? It¡¯s not a bad ship. A little work, and it could really be something.¡±

    ¡°I am certain,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°Unless, of course, you are interested in acquiring it.¡±

    ¡°Nah,¡± the Z¡¯uush replied, ¡°We have better.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°Could you keep the ship under guard until everything ispleted?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± the Z¡¯uush said, ¡°And it was a pleasure watching you work. If you ever need something again, feel free to reach out.¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± Uhrrbet smiled as the call ended.

    She chuckled evilly and activated themunications app again.

    ¡°New Horizons,¡± A pleasant-looking Flink female answered.

    Her eyes widened.

    ¡°No refunds!¡± she barked and terminated the call.

    Uhrrbet tried again.

    ¡°New¡­ (sigh)¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want a refund!¡± Uhrrbet eximed before the woman could hang up, ¡°And I¡¯m not angry with you, either.¡±

    ¡°If you are recording this call,¡± the Flink huffed, ¡°Everything we are doing is one hundred percent legal!¡±

    ¡°You would be wrong about that,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°but it ispletely non-enforceable considering where you operate. That isn¡¯t why I called either, and this call is <em>definitely</em> not recorded on my end. I¡¯m not here to take issue with you. The strong prey on the weak, and the smart deceive the stupid. You were both. I was both. It¡¯s the way of the world. Who am I to take issue with the will of the cosmos itself?¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­¡± the Flink replied dubiously, ¡°And why has ¡®the cosmos¡¯ made you call us of all people?¡±

    ¡°I would like to conduct business of a certain nature,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°and I know for a <em>fact</em> you conduct the sort of transactions in which I wish to partake.¡±

    ¡°And just would that be?¡±

    ¡°Fifteen humans in good health plus a ship already customized for transporting ¡®passengers¡¯ of a non-voluntary sort.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t engage in very,¡± the Flink said, ¡°And neither do any of our associates. Everything we do is in ordance with Federationw.¡±

    ¡°True,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°But I¡¯m not talking about a <em>sale</em>. As you said, that would be illegal. I wish to use the ship <em>and</em> its crew, who are all underbor contracts eptable to the Federation, as <em>coteral</em> for a sizeable loan¡­ That I <em>might</em> have difficulty repaying.¡±

    The Flink clicked her tongue thoughtfully.

    ¡°Let me transfer you¡­¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled evilly as a Kaarst man appeared on her screen.

    Checkmate.

    As the transaction was concluded, the loan issued, the money transferred, and the debt ¡°settled¡±¡­ all in onemunication, Uhrrbet sighed with pure unadulterated pleasure.

    Nama¡¯s abusers would now spend what was left of their lives in a Kaarstbor facility, <em>and</em> she wetted the beak of New Horizons all in one shot. That woulde in handyter¡­ When it was their turn.

    This¡­ This was what life was all about!

    ¡°Rest easy, dear friend,¡± she said quietly with a little smile, ¡°You have been avenged¡­¡±

    She looked at the millions of new credits in her ount.

    ¡°And your memorial fund is now worthy of your memory.¡±

 Chapter 292: Buying Trouble: Stankworld (1)

    Chapter 292: Buying Trouble: Stankworld (1)

    n, Grace, and Captain Vexp were in his office having another closed-door briefing.

    ¡°Welp,¡± Grace said as she sipped the mug of at that now seemed to be grafted to her left hand. ¡°We¡¯re losing Gracinax.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a shame,¡± Captain Vexp said, ¡°He will be keenly missed. Is there no way that he can be retained?¡±

    ¡°Nope,¡± Grace said. ¡°He wants to go home. The dumbass wants to join the resistance. Can¡¯t me him considering everything, but damn, dude, it¡¯s suicide.¡±

    ¡°Captain,¡± n said carefully, ¡°Considering that he is going to be enteringbat, perhaps we could give him a little going away present?¡±

    ¡°A present?¡± Captain Vexp said dubiously, ¡°You¡¯re talking weapons, right?¡±

    ¡°While we <em>are</em> a peaceful species,¡± n said as Grace nodded innocently, ¡°Our people have had to protect themselves more than once. As such, we can gain ess to certain robo fac ¡®recipes¡¯ that he may find useful.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be an arms dealer!¡±

    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Grace said, ¡°The markup on even a knife is <em>insane</em>. We could¡­¡±

    ¡°Be hunted down for supplying insurgents!¡± the captain whistle-kettled, ¡°No. Absolutely not. As much as I like Gracinax, and regardless of how valid I believe his cause, we are not risking the survival of my race over this. I¡¯m going to have to wrap myself around a post on this one. It¡¯s not happening.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Grace said with a shrug.

    ¡°I know that ¡®okay¡¯,¡± the captain said firmly. ¡°Do NOT make weapons!¡±

    ¡°Fine, we won¡¯t make <em>weapons</em>,¡± Grace replied.

    ¡°Grace¡­¡± the captain said with tones that meant he was <em>serious</em> this time (even if they were a bitical), ¡°That <em>includes</em> ¡®not weapons.¡¯ Do you understand?¡±

    ¡°Fiiiine,¡± Grace huffed, ¡°What about data?¡±

    ¡°Data?¡±

    ¡°We are definitely out of the loop andpletely cut off from our people,¡± n said as he drank some at, wincing as he did so. That shit was nasty, but it did the job. ¡°But, from what we can gather, our people have released a database concerning weapons and weapons development that his people may find useful.¡±

    ¡°Apletely harmless and peaceful people, huh?¡±

    ¡°Peaceful doesn¡¯t mean weak,¡± n replied, ¡°And we are harmless. I mean, Grace and I are. Just because we can get our hands on weapon designs doesn¡¯t mean we know how to <em>use</em> them.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­¡±

    ¡°Seriously, captain dude,¡± Grace said, ¡°We couldn¡¯t hurt a fly.¡±

    ¡°A what?¡±

    ¡°A very small bug,¡± n rified, ¡°one that is easily squashed. It¡¯s a figure of speech from our people, meaning that we do not have the desire or ability to cause harm.¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡±, the captain whistled. (It was more like ¡°Sheeee¡±, but that¡¯s their ¡°hmm¡±.) ¡°Well¡­ As long as it is just data¡­ and he buys the tablet or crystal or whatever. I don¡¯t want any of this getting traced back to us. If anyone were to ask, all you would be doing is telling him where to obtain the data himself, correct?¡±

    The captain fluttered his tail, indicating a wry smile.

    ¡°However, what is happening to his people is¡­ Genocide can NOT be countenanced. If there is a way we can aid them safely, I have no issue with you handing him a tablet filled with human nightmare tech¡­ Besides, you did this behind my back, right?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± n said smoothly, ¡°you have no knowledge of this.¡±

    ¡°Keep it that way, but absolutely no actual weapons or other gear.¡±

    ¡°Next item is our next stop,¡± n said. ¡°We just got a great lead from Gorn.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡±

    ¡°T-Rex,¡± Grace said, ¡°You know, big teeth, little arms.¡±

    ¡°And what is this lead?¡±

    ¡°The Freekegg,¡± she replied. ¡°Their prices on organic chemicals, especially precursors, are very interesting. We can literally just buy and sell for one hell of a profit.¡±

    ¡°But?¡± the captain asked dubiously.

    ¡°There isn¡¯t a but this time,¡± n said, ¡°We checked the posted prices, and it¡¯s exactly as Gorn said. They are a good twenty-five percent lower than any other producer in the sector. We can make thirty to fifty percent off every credit we spend¡­ at least.¡±

    ¡°There has to be a reason for it,¡± the captain replied. ¡°If you honestly believe there isn¡¯t a catch, that just means you haven¡¯t found it. Check again.¡±

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Grace said.

    ¡°What?¡± the captain tted.

    ¡°The Freekegg have a¡­ reputation.¡±

    ¡°Go on.¡±

    ¡°It is said that they are so unpleasant that they have to offer low prices so anyone will deal with them at all.¡±

    ¡°What is so unpleasant that it drives away trade?¡±

    ¡°The smell,¡± Grace replied, ¡°They say that they smell <em>awful</em>¡­ Annnd that isn¡¯t the most odious thing about them. They are supposed to be a very ¡®difficult¡¯ people. But for pretty much a guaranteed twenty-five percent above what we would normally get? Dude, we can put up with a LOT.¡±

    ¡°And you can¡¯t get more odious than her birth family,¡± n snickered.

    ¡°Or maybe they are so difficult that they have a stick up their ass almost as big as the one your family passes around,¡± Grace retorted with an affectionate nudge.

    ¡°I wish I could disagree with you,¡± n chuckled, ¡°But I don¡¯t miss that stick one bit.¡±

    ¡°Wait. Did your family <em>actually</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°It would have actually been less constraining,¡± n replied, ¡°No. ¡®Stick up the ass¡¯ is yet another human idiom. It means uptight or having no sense of humor, things that my family can definitely be used of.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± the captain replied, ¡°That¡¯s a relief. For a moment, I thought you <em>actually</em> inserted <em>rods</em> into your rectum.¡±

    Grace started grinning.

    ¡°Well, <em>actually</em>¡­¡±

    ***

    A few dayster, n and Grace peered at the main disy curiously.

    ¡°What the <em>fuck</em>?¡± Grace said as she cocked her head at what they beheld.

    In a geostationary orbit above the cloud-shrouded below, was arge object that imed to be a space station.

    n and Grace weren¡¯t so sure.

    ¡°Well put,¡± n said as he pulled up the scans of the station.

    ¡°Okay, this is just weird. It¡¯s bleeding atmosphere everywhere. You would think it was damaged, but it¡¯s all leaving through those¡­ vents?¡± he said, indicating countless pores over the tapered oblong ¡°blister¡± that was floating in space.

    ¡°Weird,¡± Grace said as she looked at the scans. ¡°Is it made of¡­ wood?¡±

    ¡°If it¡¯s wood, it¡¯s the weirdest wood I¡¯ve ever seen,¡± n replied, ¡°That ¡®wood¡¯ is almost entirelyprised of some sort of silicate cables reinforced with some sort of ferrous alloy. Maybe an engineered material? If so, I would love to take a look at their robo facs. You would need pretty advanced nanotech to make that stuff, and that¡¯s before we even start talking about those membranes.¡±

    ¡°Well, it exins their prices,¡± Grace mused, ¡°that¡¯s one <em>advanced</em> polymer. I¡¯ve never seen anything like it. Wait. Is the station actually <em>inted</em>? That <em>can¡¯t</em> be safe.¡±

    ¡°It appears to be,¡± n replied, ¡°Along with <em>hydraulic</em> ¡®veins¡¯ using actual water? Are they using <em>turgor pressure</em> as structural reinforcement?¡±

    ¡°This is so weird,¡± Grace said. ¡°If I didn¡¯t know better, I would swear we are looking at some sort of <em>nt</em>.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Well, they say they are an odd bunch,¡± n shrugged. ¡°But we¡¯vee this far, and it looks stable, at least in the short term.¡±

    ¡°We greet you, Others,¡± a cheerful if a bit moist voice said over them. ¡°Wee!¡±

    ¡°They seem nice enough,¡± n quietly mused. ¡°I wonder why they have a bad reputation.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll find out soon enough,¡± Grace whispered.

    ¡°Thank you for your warm wee,¡± Captain Vexp replied. ¡°We look forward to doing business with you.¡±

    ¡°Would like a current price list?¡± the damply happy voice asked, ¡°We can transfer goods to your vessel without you having to debark. Most prefer this option.¡±

    ¡°Are there vendors that we can meet with face to face?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Yes¡­ But¡­¡±

    ¡°We would like to dock and debark,¡± n said, ¡°Stretch our legs at the very least, and we would like to meet and possibly negotiate a few trades. We have some very interesting polymers, though I suspect most would be of little interest. We also have machinable ceramics and both ferrous and non-ferrous alloys, including some very high-purity magnesium that we can part with at prices well below the current rate.¡±

    ¡°We are always happy to have guests! But¡­ You are aware of the peculiarities of our race, correct?¡±

    ¡°We have reviewed the data, and nothing is immediately harmful,¡± n said, ¡°At least for some of us. Humans are very adaptable and can tolerate very severe conditions that many other species cannot.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we aren¡¯t afraid of a little stank,¡± Grace interjected, ¡°Besides, I want to see how bad it really is!¡±

    A strange gurgling could be heard.

    ¡°You¡¯re <em>humans?!?</em> We would love to meet you guys! Are you really <em>eating</em> the [emailprotected]''an?¡±

    n sighed heavily.

    ¡°Not all of us do that,¡± he said wearily.

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Grace added, ¡°It hardly ever happens anymore. Only the <em>worst</em> ns still do that¡­ like the Harlequin, for example.¡±

    ¡°Otherfriend,¡± the voice managed between gurgles, ¡°We can¡¯t <em>stand</em> those otherwads. Eat as many of them as you see fit!¡±

    ¡°We <em>promise</em> we won¡¯t eat anyone during our visit,¡± n said. This was getting really old. However, he reminded himself that the people of the Asscrack were just being honest about their concerns, a refreshing if tiresome change from the whispering and nervous looks they encountered in more ¡°civilized¡± ces.

    ¡°Other, if you can keep one of us down, we¡¯ll feed you somebody just for the novelty of it!¡±

    A strange light started to shine above a polymer ¡°window¡± that opened into a strangely organic-looking orifice.

    ¡°(gurgle) You are wee to <em>enter</em> us. I believe the docking bay we have selected will be sufficient for your needs. We do offer fusion fuels as well as pure, odor-free gasses and water, should they be required¡­ Oh, you might want to bring or fabricate respirators before you debark. We can make them, but we can¡¯t guarantee that the inside won¡¯t absolutely reek by your standards.¡±

    ¡°Like we said,¡± Grace said confidently, ¡°We¡¯re <em>humans</em>. There is no way we are going to let a little stink get in the way of profit.¡±

    ¡°(GURGLE) Well, this is going to be interesting. We look forward to meeting you. Samefriends!¡± the voice gurgled a bit further from the mic, ¡°We got some lively onesing in! Humans, if you can believe it!¡±

    ¡°No way,¡± a more distant voice gurgled. ¡°This will be <em>fun</em>! Hey, is that mic still live?¡±

    ¡°Sludge!¡± the first voice eximed as the line suddenly went dead.

    ¡°Well, they seem friendly, at least,¡± n said.

    ***

    ¡°And you''re <em>sure</em> you don¡¯t want respirators?¡± Beep asked as he followed n and Grace to the airlock.

    ¡°Nah,¡± Grace scoffed, ¡°I¡¯ve probably smelled worse.¡±

    She turned to n.

    ¡°Remember the Love Tug?¡±

    ¡°How could I forget?¡± he said as he wrapped his arms around her, causing Grace to giggle.

    ¡°The Love Tug?¡± Beep asked, ¡°What¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the ¡®final exam¡¯ for Void Scouts,¡± n replied, ¡°It¡¯s a derelict floating in space somewhere. They throw a bunch of scouts on it and fly away for a month.¡±

    ¡°The test is simple,¡± Grace smiled, still wrapped in n¡¯s embrace, ¡°Survive. Every year before they abandon thetest bunch, the scoutmasters go onboard andpletely wreck the ce, undoing whatever thest batch did so they could live. You are tossed aboard a huge dead, badly damaged freighter with no life support, no power, no water¡­ nothing.¡±

    ¡°Oh heap!¡± Beep eximed. ¡°And you both <em>survived</em>?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± n replied, finally releasing Grace, ¡°In fact, we didn¡¯t lose a single scout.¡±

    ¡°<em>How?</em>¡±

    ¡°Training,¡± n replied, ¡°This is the culmination of <em>years</em> of scouting. The Void Scouts teach what we call ¡®void survival¡¯, how to survive in space, arguably what is now the porkie¡¯s natural habitat. It¡¯s a way to keep the old traditions alive and preserve them in case they are ever needed again. It¡¯s sort of a mandatory thing for people of a ¡®certain status¡¯ like we once were.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s also a social club,¡± Grace said, ¡°The big families don¡¯t get along. In fact, some of us absolutely hate each other and will kill each other given half a chance. The scouts were formed in part for the next generation of potential leaders to get to know each other in hopes of keeping the violence to a minimum. It¡¯s a lot harder to gut someone if you know them.¡±

    ¡°The ¡®social¡¯ aspect of scouting is where the ¡®Love Tug¡¯ got its name,¡± n smirked, ¡°There is a lot of ¡®socializing¡¯ on that old hulk.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s where we first hooked up!¡± Grace grinned. ¡°Sometimes it works a little too well,¡± sheughed.

    ¡°But¡­¡± Beep said, ¡°Haven¡¯t you said that you two are ¡®harmless¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Oh, <em>we</em> are,¡± n smoothly lied, ¡°We were very highly ced in our respective families. Neither of us was expected to get <em>our</em> hands dirty. However, people like us would often¡­ make arrangements that involved violence.¡±

    ¡°Not us, though,¡± Grace said with big innocent eyes, ¡°Neither of us was ever going to be in that sort of leadership role. We were just going to be basic admin, or maybe logistics, you know, what every big organization needs to operate. In fact, I was going to work for our ¡®legitimate¡¯ business. So was n. It¡¯s why we got along so well.¡±

    ¡°Exactly,¡± n said, ¡°However, even we were expected to be able to operate and maintain a ship even under severe conditions like we are doing for you guys. Scouting is how we obtained a lot of the experience we are now using to very good effect.¡±

    ¡°And forming connections with other families was a good fit for us who weren¡¯t expected to be part of ¡®operations¡¯,¡± Grace said guilelessly. ¡°See, perfectly harmless¡­ but still able to do a lot of what we are doing.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Beep said, ¡°That makes sense.¡±

    ¡°Well, if you will excuse us,¡± n said, ¡°We have to go meet some very smelly people.¡±

    The airlock opened, and n and Grace entered it.

    ¡°Well, they have certainly provided quite the build-up,¡± n said, ¡°I wonder if it will live up to the hype.¡±

    ¡°Dude, I¡¯ve been in a room full of¡­¡±

    The outer airlock door opened, and Grace fell silent, her eyes wide with horror¡­ until they teared up.

    ¡°Oh. My. God¡­¡±

    ¡°By the Void¡¯s grasping hand!¡± n eximed as he staggered against the wall.

    He looked out of the airlock, looking at a group of strange, misshapen beings. They were tall bipeds, with broad rounded shoulders and long muscr arms, appearing like mangy, partially rotting goris in varying states of decay covered with strange scaly sores and strange multi-colored growths all over their bodies.

    All of them were looking at them expectantly with theirrge eyes partially enshrouded with fungus-like fur.

    They seemed amused.

    ¡°Should we retreat and fabricate respirators?¡± n asked.

    ¡°And give those fuckers the satisfaction?¡± Grace dry heaved. ¡°Besides, I¡¯m fine. (hurk) If <em>you</em> need a respirator¡­¡±

    ¡°I was merely concerned for yourfort,¡± n lied, ¡°You are looking a bit pale.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Grace said through clenched teeth. ¡°If <em>you</em> want to puss out, be my guest.¡±

    n red at her. So, it was going to be like this, was it? Fine.

    ¡°You needn¡¯t be concerned about me, <em>wyrm</em>,¡± he said, fighting back the urge to vomit. ¡°Let¡¯s go meet the zombie monkeys.¡±

    ***

    ¡°By the dust-covered forebearers!¡± one of the Freekegg gurgled, ¡°I must say I¡¯m impressed. Most run right back into their ship. You humans <em>are</em> tough.¡±

    Grace suddenly doubled over and puked.

    ¡°Is she¡­ alright?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s fine,¡± n replied, ¡°this is one of our customs. It¡¯s a sign of goodwill.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­ Just¡­ HUUURK¡­ saying¡­ hello¡­¡±

    ¡°It smells wonderful,¡± the Freekegg enthused, bending down and deeply inhaling, followed by the others.

    They conversed amongst themselves for a moment, presumably about Grace¡¯s ¡®customary greeting¡¯.

    Unfortunately, this consisted of gurgling farting noises from the strange projections¡­ along with chemical messages that, in defiance of all reason, managed to smell even worse.

    n quickly followed Grace in ¡°greeting¡± their new friends.

    ¡°Is there¡­ <em>hydrochloric acid</em> in there?¡± the Freekegg that was speaking for the group asked in amazement.

    ¡°(urp)¡­ Yes,¡± n said as Grace wiped her mouth on her tunic. ¡°We use it inbination with enzymes to digest our food.

    ¡°Amazing¡­ Your digestive system must be very robust. Is this how you are able to digest so many different sapient species?¡±

    n managed to dry heave and sigh simultaneously. Grace was impressed.

    ¡°We don¡¯t¡­ Okay. <em>Some</em> of us do that, but <em>we</em> don¡¯t. In fact, we consider it¡­ impolite.¡±

    The Freekegg broke out in ¡°loud¡± tulentughter. n and Grace never considered a smell ¡°loud¡± before, but it was the only way to describe it.

    ¡°Impolite¡­¡± The speaking Freekegg gurgled, delighted. ¡°You humans are great!¡±

    ¡°¡­I¡¯m d you approve,¡± Grace muttered, fighting back losingst night¡¯s dinner. (Breakfast was already gone).

    Unfortunately, the Freekegg found this hrious¡­ Annnd Grace lost said dinner.

    ¡°That means she really likes you,¡± n said just before he joined Grace in another greeting.

    ***

    ¡°How are you guys holding up?¡± the speaking Freekegg asked.

    ¡°Oh, we¡¯re (gag) fine,¡± Grace replied, ¡°I¡¯m feeling much better after our customary greeting.¡±

    ¡°A curious custom,¡± the Freekegg known as GuruG said, ¡°It didn¡¯t lookfortable at all.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s nowhere near as unpleasant as it appears,¡± n lied, sessfully avoiding another greeting. ¡°I can¡¯t help but notice that you are the only one speaking to us. Is there a reason?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± GuruG replied. ¡°Your strange andplex sonic transmissions are very difficult for us. Not all of us can master it. In fact, being an ¡®otherspeaker¡¯ is my job, a very respected and lucrative one. There are only a few of us on the whole station. Don¡¯t worry, though. Many can understand your vibrations even if they can¡¯t speak in kind. We also have trantion applications on our unified devices that can convert ournguage into any of severalmon tongues.¡±

    ¡°Your (cough) chemicalnguage?¡±

    ¡°Our nativenguage is both chemical <em>and</em> sonic,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°and no. That would be entirely too much of a hassle. Our trantors convert our symbolic writtennguage to a format understandable by the others, such as yourself. Literacy is nearly universal, save in the most remote regions of our.¡±

    ¡°Interesting. I would have thought you would have a chemical ¡®writtennguage¡¯ as well.¡±

    ¡°Oh, we do,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°But it fades quickly, suitable only for temporary notes and ¡®graffiti¡¯ on the walls. Our symbolguage is permanent even if our natural ¡®written¡¯nguage is more expressive than any inscribed rune. Unfortunately, as beautiful as it is, won¡¯tst a month. It¡¯s also rather hard to have a how do you say¡­ puters¡¯ emit anything other than the most basic of scents. We¡¯ve been using symbols ever since we inscribed y tablets, but our digital revolution is what made the written word universal.¡±

    ¡°We (urp) used y tablets back in ancient times as well,¡± Grace said.

    ¡°It would stand to reason most races did,¡± GuruG said, ¡°Sadly, we do not have the opportunity to really converse with most others.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a shame,¡± n said, ¡°(Blorp)¡­¡±

    Grace looked over in surprise, ¡°blorp¡± was a new one. She wondered exactly how he did that.

    ¡°¡­You beings are quite pleasant¡­ well¡­ aside from your smell.¡±

    GuruG emitted another st of potentughter.

    ¡°Yeah, you <em>reek</em>, dude,¡± Grace added, causing many of the curious Freekegg who constantly shadowed them to join in theughter, causing the couple to dry heave. (They were both pretty much out of greeting juice.)

    ¡°Is that yourughter?¡± GuruG asked.

    ¡°Let¡¯s pretend that it is,¡± n replied, causing yet another bout ofughter.

    ¡°You guys are great!¡± GuruGughed, causing n¡¯s eyes to water to the point of blindness. ¡°Hey, are you up to a tour of the station, or are you just about done?¡±

    ¡°We would love a look at this ce,¡± n said. ¡°A little stink is not enough to (ugh) em¡­ oh dear¡­ <em>eliminate</em> my curiosity.¡±

    ¡°(heeeeave) Mine either,¡± Grace nodded. ¡°We just <em>have to</em> know the deal. What¡­ (cough) This is unlike anything we¡¯ve ever seen. It¡¯s almost as if it was <em>grown</em>.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s because it was!¡±

    ¡°How does that even work?¡± Grace asked, her nausea temporarily forgotten.

    ¡°Like anything else,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°We ¡®nt¡¯ a seed, and it grows. However, instead of a seed drill, we use a rocket.¡±

    Another Freekegg approached, ¡°farting¡± rapidly.

    ¡°Yes, yes, yes,¡± GuruG said to the other Freekegg. ¡°It is a bit more involved than that, but that¡¯s the basics without going into an hours, or perhaps days long lecture on the process. The original seed is quiterge and has plenty of sustenance, but <em>obviously</em>,¡± GuruG said, wiggling a strange infectious-looking protrusion from his shoulder at hisrade, ¡°It cannot derive further sustenance from a vacuum. It must be tended to and cared for, which requires additionalunches. <em>However</em>, the original seed will grow into an airtight structurerge enough to amodate a few samesouls.¡±

    ¡°Fascinating,¡± n said, deeply impressed.

    ¡°The samebeings feed the growing station¡­¡±

    Hispanion started farting again, much to the pair¡¯s barely concealed distress.

    ¡°Or <em>ship</em>,¡± GuruG said with a dismissive st from one of his many orifices. ¡°The only real difference is whether we install engines and navigation or not. ¡°Forgive my friend. Engineers are <em>very</em> pedantic. He is right, though. We make all our spaceframes this way. In fact, this station started out as a ship, but when it got too big, we converted it to a stationary structure rather than harvest it¡­ And yes, I <em>know</em> it isn¡¯t stationary,¡± he added before the engineer could fart again. ¡°Bute on, sameling, it is in <em>geostationary</em> orbit.¡±

    A foul wisp of amusement oozed from GuruG.

    ¡°Thus, it is motionless <em>rtive</em> to the¡¯s surface¡­ So, <em>technically</em> it isn¡¯t moving as far as someone on the is concerned.¡±

    The engineer let out a loud and unfortunately fragrant st and stomped off.

    ¡°I love annoying that sameling,¡± GuruG said. ¡°It is so much fun. He gets so <em>angry</em>¡­ Don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡±aaat! Ptooo! Gurglebubble!¡±

    ¡°We have <em>guests</em>, samebro! Don¡¯t kill them!¡± GuruGughed. ¡°Are you two okay? You seem¡­ unsteady, and are your eyes supposed to secrete that much fluid?¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Grace managed to say between gasps causing GuruG to suppress a potentially incapacitating guffaw.

    ***

    ¡°And here is one of the external hull tes,¡± GuruG said proudly.

    ¡°And this is alive?¡± n asked, his nose thankfully dulled by the constant assault.

    ¡°The interior is. It constantly secretes a nonliving ¡®bark¡¯ that serves as the hull. In addition to the bark being very strong, both considerably tougher and harder than most otherships we have encountered, but also self-repairing. It also grows along with the entire structure, thus simplifying things a great deal.¡±

    ¡°Wow,¡± Grace said, touching the surface. ¡°(ahem)¡­ I gotta know, <em>how</em> did you develop this technology?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re not exactly sure,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°As far as anyone knows, we¡¯ve always been able to do it. We¡¯ve had a knack for selective breeding and gic maniption since before the great division. After the one became many of the same, our great ancestors provided the knowledge to us. Oddly enough, we also all have innate knowledge of many techniques from birth.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s unbelievable!¡± Grace eximed.

    ¡°It is a mystery to be sure,¡± GuruG said with a shrug that caused fragments of whatever weird growths that gued his body to fall. ¡°Snacktime!¡± he eximed as he gathered one of the chunks and popped it into his mouth. ¡°It is one of the big mysteries of our people. We thought it strange before we met others, but the fact that it is, pardon thenguage, weird as hell has only been further confirmed since.¡±

    He looked at them as the odd, not exactly fleshy things covering his shoulders, neck, and part of his face wiggled strangely.

    ¡°But that¡¯s not the only thing that¡¯s weird,¡± he said, ¡°we are <em>not</em> originally from this world.¡±

    ¡°You came here from another system?¡±

    ¡°Apparently,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°We have absolutely no idea from where, but our gic coding structures are vastly different from a lot of the life on this. The life that does share our gic structure resembles us, and the majority of life does not. The fossil record clearly shows the other life being present for the geologic timespans typical of you others, but we are far more recent, only a few million years or so.¡±

    ¡°That long?!?¡± Grace blurted.

    ¡°Another mystery,¡± GuruG said, ¡°Upon first establishing contact with the others who came to our system, we were very excited because we thought, with contact with the greater gxy, we would finally be able to learn about our origins. s, that was not the case. Any information concerning our history and origins was wiped away long ago during one of the great dark ages that seem to regrly gue this region of space.¡±

    His protrusions drooped.

    ¡°It looks like we will never know for sure. All we have are whispers from the oldest of our ancestors, and they are confused babbling, stuff about gods, and divinemandments¡­¡±

    His protrusions perked up and wiggled.

    ¡°Of course, thosemandments were sucked out the airlock during the great division. The oldest of our ancestors was so mad that they refused tomune with the same for thousands of years. They eventually calmed down, though, once even they came to ept that our gods had abandoned us. These are just oral traditions, legends, and myths now. Those ancestors fell silent long before we developed writing. There are only ¡®skeins¡¯ from that era, and any surviving skeins are nearly dust or actually fossilized, and reading them is nearly impossible. Very little can be gathered from them. Fortunately, the first scribes recorded what they could, but even back then, it was scarcely better.¡±

    ¡°Skeins?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Protein threads secreted by the ancestors,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°These were what we used to record and share information before the invention of writing. Sadly, they are not as durable as y tablets, inscribed stone, or stamped metal¡­ Or data crystals, for that matter. Most remaining skeins are much more recent, and records from our earliest days are ¡®dubs¡¯. They are copies of copies of copies read and reproduced by the ancestors. I¡¯m sure you are aware of the problems that this can create.¡±

    Grace and n nodded.

    ¡°So, our ancient legends are just that,¡± GuruG said, ¡°They <em>might</em> be true, some version of the truth, orplete fabrications. In that way, the same are much akin to you others. However, <em>something</em> brought us here¡­ or we brought ourselves somehow. The prevailing belief is that our ¡®gods¡¯ were another more advanced species but other than that, we don¡¯t know a lot.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Grace said, ¡°I was trying to be polite, but I just gotta know. What is <em>up</em> with you dudes? Are you all sick or something?¡±

    GuruG let out a huge malodorousugh that seemed to seep into n and Grace¡¯s very souls, causing them to stagger backward.

    ¡°Sorry¡­ sorry¡­¡± GuruG said, ¡°I forgot myself for a moment. The answer to your question is both yes, and no. Yes. The being you see before you is ¡®infected¡¯ with something, but <em>I</em> am not. I <em>am</em> the infection. The external features that you view as signs of contagion are actually parts of my true form, which grows within my host. Unfortunately, perhaps for us both, I am eventually what you would call fatal.¡±

    ¡°That is both the coolest and the most disturbing thing I have ever heard!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°Um¡­¡±

    ¡°No, we can¡¯t infect others,¡± GuruG said, anticipating her exact question, ¡°Not easily, and we have ways to treat it if it does happen, which it never has. We seem to have adapted to our homeworld early in our existence here and are, forck of a better word, ¡®calibrated¡¯ to interact with the otherlife on it and it alone¡­¡±

    ¡°But?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Okay,¡± GuruG said, ¡°You guys seem cool¡­ and you do far worse things on a regr basis. Don¡¯t pretend that your species doesn¡¯t. While these ¡®Harlequin¡¯ may be a separate cultivar, they are part of your sameness, and if what they were doing was <em>truly</em> uneptable, that cultivar would be culled, correct?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s another of those yes and no answers,¡± n said, ¡°Yes. What the Harlequin do, much of which is far worse than ¡®cannibalism¡¯ or, more precisely, ¡®xenophagy¡¯, is considered truly uneptable by many of our other ¡®cultivars¡¯ or, as we call them, ¡®houses¡¯. However, the Harlequin are useful for the same reasons we find them detestable. As you are doubtlessly aware, the gxy isn¡¯t always a nice ce, and this sometimes requires not nice people. For example, from what we understand, the [emailprotected]''an were first asked nicely to stop predating on us.¡±

    ¡°ughfart) And when that predictably failed? You sent these Harlequin?¡±

    ¡°And on the first guess, too!¡± Graceughed as she held her nose, not that it helped. That funk got in through your <em>skin</em>. ¡°I knew you were smart!¡±

    ¡°Stop making meugh,¡± GuruG fragrantlyughed, ¡°You¡¯re only making it worse on yourselves!¡±

    ¡°So, we tolerate the Harlequin¡¯s proclivities,¡± n said, ¡°and then unleash them when appropriate. Also, an attempt to wipe them out would be difficult¡­ and they would eat us as well, given half of a reason¡­ like trying to wipe them out, for example. So, yes, they are detested, but nobody is going to try to stop them, especially when they mostly cooperate with our¡­ same? Did I use that right?¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°But I understand what you are outgassing. As I was saying, we can¡¯t infect life from other systems¡­ <em>But</em>, as you said, the gxy can be unkind. When we first made contact, a thread of inquiry was started, and a new skein spun. We have determined that we <em>could</em> spread our ¡®infection¡¯ should it be deemed necessary. However, we are keenly aware that if we were to do so, the reaction from the others, all the others, would likely be¡­ unpleasant. Thus, it is only a very usible theory, not one that we have ever even started to put into practice.¡±

    ¡°Mmm-Hmm,¡± Grace said as she raised an eyebrow. ¡°Makes (gag) perfect sense not to ensure that your superweapon would actually work before it would be needed.¡±

    GuruG wiggled a protrusion.

    ¡°As you say yourselves, let¡¯s pretend that it does.¡±

 Chapter 293: Buying Trouble: Stankworld Pt 2

    Chapter 293: Buying Trouble: Stankworld Pt 2

    ¡°You seem to be doing better,¡± GuruG said happily. ¡°You haven¡¯t tried to greet us in a little while.¡±

    ¡°Humans are nothing if not adaptable,¡± n replied, ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, you are <em>revolting</em>¡­¡±

    GuruG burst intoughter, causing Grace to cover her nose and mouth in a vain attempt to keep the nasty out.

    ¡°And <em>that</em> (cough) is still a bit much,¡± n said. ¡°But our noses put in their notices a little while ago, it seems.¡±

    ¡°You guys are <em>fantastic</em>,¡± GuruG enthused to the fragrant agreement of the ever-present curious onlookers. ¡°Seriously, nobody has eversted this long.¡±

    ¡°Never underestimate a human¡¯s greed¡­ or their <em>curiosity</em>,¡± n replied. ¡°This station is nothing less than amazing.¡±

    ¡°If you really want to see amazing,¡± GuruG said, ¡°and if you truly want to test your adaptability, would you like to see how we handle life support?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m really gonna regret this,¡± Grace said, ¡°But I gotta. Chemistry is like, one of my big things, and I <em>can¡¯t</em> pass this up.¡±

    ¡°And it just may settle the littlepetition you two have about which one of you canst the longest without a respirator!¡±

    ¡°You noticed that did you?¡± n asked with a wry smile.

    ¡°Just making an assumption based on our nature,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°Such rivalry between friends is in our nature. Since you are so likable, I thought it may be the same with you,¡± he?... she?... it? said as ¡°it¡± started walking down a moist and somewhat spongy corridor, beckoning them to follow. ¡°You are friends, yes?¡±

    ¡°Very much so,¡± n replied, weakly smiling at Grace.

    ¡°Forgive my forwardness,¡± GuruG said, ¡°But I also <em>must</em> know something. Are you two¡­ engaging in what is called sexual activity with each other.¡±

    ¡°Every chance we get!¡± Grace eximed.

    ¡°We are a couple,¡± n added, ¡°our race nominally takes a single mate for life¡­¡±

    ¡°Or at least one at a time!¡±

    ¡°Thank you*, darling*,¡± n sighed, ¡°As my <em>dearly loved</em>panion said, it can be a bit moreplicated than that. Infidelity, divorce, and multiple partners are all quite possible¡­ but not for us.¡±

    GuruG was silent for a moment.

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid I have no idea what you are talking about. Infidelity? Divorce? What are they?¡±

    ¡°You mate for life?¡±

    ¡°Otherfriend, we don¡¯t mate at all.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s no fun,¡± Grace said.

    ¡°From what I understand, it is unfortunate,¡± GuruG said as his ironically phallic projections even more ironically drooped. ¡°While we don¡¯t get the opportunity to converse face to face like this, the same share curiosity as a universal sametrait. We¡¯ve tapped into the collective oneness of the interster data skeins and have uncovered depictions of otherbeing¡¯s sexual activities. They really seem to enjoy it.¡±

    ¡°If you don¡¯t bone, then how do you make more¡­ um¡­ sames?¡±

    ¡°Do you just infect your hosts with spores or something simr?¡±

    ¡°We sames don¡¯t even do that,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°At least not at this point in our lives. As our host bes consumed by our sameness, it will eventually be unable to function and will die.¡±

    ¡°I take it that you don¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°Oh, no,¡± GuruG said, ¡°In fact, some of us don¡¯t even believe that a same¡¯s life truly starts until then. As the host dies, we undergo a transformation, consuming and then ultimatelypletely absorbing the decaying flesh of our host. We then be an ancestor.¡±

    ¡°So, your ancestors are real living beings?¡±

    ¡°It depends on what you call alive,¡± GuruG chuckled, ¡°We cease to be animal-like and be sessile, not dissimr to a nt or certain benthic lifeforms. It is only then that we start to produce spores that are used to inocte more hosts.¡±

    ¡°Are these ¡®ancestors¡¯, still sapient?¡±

    ¡°Again,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°it depends solely on your definition of the term. With the loss of the host, they also lose all of the senses that allow us to perceive reality the way that we do. However, they gain entirely new ones. They do have awareness, but they think very differently than we do and do so at vastly different rates than we do. They also develop, maintain, evaluate, and distribute, vast stores of knowledge that are passed between them by the skeins they spin and weave within them, which are then passed from ancestor to ancestor¡­ and to us, of course, so we can continue (heh) ¡®god¡¯s will¡¯¡­ though we have strayed from the ordained path just a little bit. Forgive us for not wanting to go extinct,¡± heughed and then quickly apologized for outgassing.

    ¡°Extinct?¡±

    ¡°We weremanded to transform this world, iming it for the gods,¡± GuruG, ¡°Or that¡¯s what the ¡®scriptures¡¯ say, at least. However, had wepleted that task, we would have made our homepletely uninhabitable, for both the life already on our world and ourselves¡­ I suspect our ¡®gods¡¯ were¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ I don¡¯t know how to trante the ¡®word,¡¯ and I fear that if I speak it, it would likely make you ¡®greet us¡¯ to death. It is a very profane utterance that denotes an even more profane and unpleasant nature.¡±

    ¡°I can think of a few words,¡± Grace gagsmirked.

    ¡°Oh? Could you share them?¡±

    ¡°dly!¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­That was quite the list! Thank you!¡± GuruG enthused, ¡°And thank you for exining each term in such detail! Some of them were quite humorous!¡±

    ¡°My beautiful mate is quite the expert on profanity,¡± n chuckled, ¡°and is always happy to share her mastery with anyone within earshot.¡±

    ¡°We are fond of foulnguage as well! I would love to share, but most of them are quite simply untrantable, and most do not even have a written equivalent. They are just sprayed on the wall or on a blotter to present to its intended recipient¡­ or you just blow it in their face. Just as with yourselves, many of our words are based on anatomical features and biological processes, which arepletely alien to others.¡±

    ¡°I can imagine,¡± Grace said, ¡°I can only imagine what you ¡®assholes¡¯ coulde up with.¡±

    ¡°I suspect even you would be surprised,¡± GuruGughed and paused next to what appeared to be a wall.

    ¡°We¡¯re here,¡± he said, ¡°prepare yourselves.¡±

    He pressed the wall, and a pore opened in the center of the membrane, which opened to reveal a vast chamber encrusted with what appeared to be giant spongy towers sprouting from the floor and protruding from the ceiling.

    Both n and Grace staggered, clutching at their faces as what can only be described as essence of stink washed over them.

    A stench even more horrible than the room heralded the approach of a shambling mass, only slightly resembling the other ape-like creatures.

    It was as if something died¡­ several years ago¡­ and was still rotting¡­

    ¡°Otherfriends,¡± GuruG said, ¡°Allow me to introduce¡­ um¡­ Let¡¯s just call him Elder, alright?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to (hurk) meet¡­. Meet...¡± n stammered.

    GuruG emitted some gurgling tulence, and ¡°Elder¡± retreated a bit.

    ¡°I told him that he was a bit much for you,¡± GuruG exined, ¡°He¡¯s delighted to meet you, though.¡±

    ¡°Likewise,¡± n said, ¡°I take it he is older than the rest of you?¡±

    ¡°The only same older than him is the same inmand of this station,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°and he will likely be a full ancestor within a year or two. He is going to remain here, on the station!¡± GuruG eximed, ¡°We will have our own ancestor! That¡¯s almost unheard of!¡±

    ¡°How will hemune with the others?¡± n asked as Grace, dispensing with any semnce of formality, stripped off her tunic and tried to stuff her tunic into her head, which was, of course, impossible.

    It didn¡¯t stop her from trying, though.

    ¡°The same way they normally do,¡± GuruG said, ¡°They will create and consume skeins. They can¡¯t move, so we will carry the bundles for them. We go to the surface and back all the time. Skeins are very small. We¡¯ll just haul them up and feed them to the ancestors the same as we do on the surface.¡±

    A wave ofplex stink wafted over the group.

    ¡°And Elder will do the same! Think of it! Two ancestors! We will be truly blessed!¡±

    More smells.

    ¡°Elder will remain here, with the life gardens. He cannot bear the thought of abandoning the lovelies that had has so carefully nurtured all of these years.¡±

    Suddenly one of the sponge trees swelled and then emitted a st of gas that blew their hair (or fleshy protuberances depending on species) back.

    ¡°Is that¡­ Is that <em>fresh air</em> ?!?¡± Grace eximed as she rushed over to one of the growths, pressing her face into it, partially exposing her face as if she was a very cautious turtle.

    ¡°Of course,¡± GuruG chuckled, ¡°Did you think we made the air so wonderfully delicious on purpose? No. Thates from all the same and all the ¡®technology¡¯ in here. These are the air purifiers and gas scrubbers. Even we would perish without clean air¡­ well¡­ air that we consider clean. Without these, we would all die within days, AND the air would be soden with ¡®noise¡¯ thatmunication would be impossible over the cacophony. The rather intense aroma of the ce is because all stale air in the vessel is directed here and to six other processing stations identical to this one.¡±

    GuruG wiggled his fleshy bits.

    ¡°It may not smell that much different to you¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, it does, <em>trust me</em>,¡± Grace said as she nudged the projection she was almost crawling into.

    ¡°Well, for us, the ¡®noise¡¯ in one of these rooms is overwhelming. Imagine if every word spoken on your ship was collected and put into a single chamber where they repeated over, over, and over again. It is fortunate that I understand your vibrations and canmunicate in kind. Otherwise,munication would be nearly impossible.¡±

    ¡°How does the Elder function?¡± n asked, ¡°And you clearlymunicated with him.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s used to it,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°He is much older than I and has lived in these chambers for most of his life. He has learned how to¡­ listen? As to how I understood Elder, he is very good at ¡®yelling¡¯.¡±

    Another intense wave of nearly crippling scent washed over them.

    ¡°Elder has such a wonderful ¡®voice¡¯, too,¡± GuruG said, ¡°It is truly a pity that you cannot understand him. Elder could be a professional singer and a very good one. Elder could be very wealthy on the surface, but he loves the purifiers too much to leave them. Elder will sometimes leave them just long enough to treat us to a song or a poem¡­ Some of our poems can be quite long and convey entire stories or historical ounts. They are so wonderful, far better than anything your nd screens and speakers can produce. You can actually <em>taste</em> the words, the music. Oh, how I wish you couldprehend them.¡±

    ¡°We have some of those, too!¡± Grace eximed, ¡°They are <em>extremely</em> old. Some may even be older than writing. We don¡¯t have those handy skeins built in. So, the only way to preserve knowledge before writing was verbally, which onlysts for a moment. The rhyme was a way to remember.¡±

    ¡°Many of our poems are readings from skeins or interpretations of them,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°Once again, we have simrities, far more than I expected.¡±

    A massive wave of scent staggered n and made Grace dry heave into her tunic, which wasn¡¯t doing a damned thing. Nothing stopped the stink.

    ¡°Elder would truly love to hear some of your poems. I know it¡¯s an imposition, but could you perhaps share some of them with us? We understand if you are unable.¡±

    ¡°(hurk),¡± Grace hurked, ¡°I think I (urp) can share a short one.¡±

    She managed to grin at n.

    ¡°This is an ancient song, once sung (gag)¡­¡±

    Elder prodded one of the spongy masses, and all of them ¡°inhaled¡± and ¡°exhaled,¡± flooding the room with wonderfully clean and odor-free air, causing GuruG to nearly stumble. It was nearly more than he could handle, almost as if he was rendered both blind, deaf, and mute all at once.

    ¡°<em>Thank you!</em>¡± Grace eximed. ¡°As I was saying, this is an ancient song, once sung on ancient pirate vessels when we still traveled the oceans in wooden boats propelled by the wind.¡±

    n just red at her as she started to sing her favorite genuine ancient andpletely traditional pirate song that was NOT created for a movie, no matter what the rather stuck-up love of her life insisted.

    ¡°That was amazing!¡± GuruG eximed as a wave of odor shattered their moment of olfactory peace. ¡°Elder loved it as well! Do you think when you return to your vessel you could share more of these?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll do better than that!¡± Grace eximed, ¡°We¡¯ll give you a copy of our entire library as well as rip some stuff off the hype! We will hook you stinky bastards up!¡±

    ¡°Wonderful!¡± GuruG eximed as yet another wave of smell wafted past, ¡°Both Elder and, well¡­ all of us would love that! How much will this cost?¡±

    ¡°Exactly what we paid for it,¡± Grace grinned, ¡°not a goddamned thing!¡±

    ¡°Your otherkin distribute such things for free?¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ If you steal it¡­ Which we did¡­ And we¡¯ll grab some more for you!¡±

    GuruG and Elder both burst intoughter, but n and Grace were starting to adapt a little.

    ¡°We disapprove of theft,¡± GuruG said between his tulent guffaws, ¡°But unshared knowledge is even more offensive. Liberating such hoarded treasures is perfectly eptable to us, noble even.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ You would be willing to discuss exchanging technology?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely!¡± GuruG eximed, ¡°Though, I doubt much of what we have would be of use to others. Only we can do it.¡±

    ¡°These air purifiers alone would be wonderful!¡±

    ¡°If you can keep them alive,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°which, to be honest, is highly unlikely. It is difficult even for us. That is one of the reasons Elder is so devoted to them.¡±

    A long, very fragrant, andplex stink wafted past.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think they need a lecture on the care of these creations,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°But Elder is right. They would likely starve to death. They derive sustenance from the air that passes through them. I doubt your air is ¡®rich¡¯ enough to sustain them.¡±

    ¡°Pity,¡± n replied. ¡°But surely not everything you use is entirely grown,¡± n coughed. The air was rapidly bing foul again. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, that station disliked freshness.

    ¡°You are correct!¡± GuruG replied, ¡°We have developed what we call ¡®rock tech¡¯. You would just call it technology. Some processes, especially those dealing with high temperatures, are best handled by metal. Our fusion reactors are entirely constructed as are our hyperspace transmitters, engines, as well as ourputers. We can, of course, create very durable structures with refractory qualities by growing them, but sometimes it¡¯s easier to just make something the way you others do. If nothing else, it is much faster.¡±

    ¡°Did any of that teche from your skeins,¡± n asked, ¡°or was it all acquired post-contact?¡±

    GuruG just wiggled his projections.

    ¡°You <em>are</em> a clever one, aren¡¯t you? We had plenty of rock tech before that. While we share information freely among the same, we do keep the ¡®good stuff¡¯ away from others¡­ or we normally do,¡± GuruG said with a promising wiggle of his bits.

    Another stink bomb went off.

    ¡°Elder would be fascinated with your thoughts about life support. We do prowl the collective consciousness of the stars, but without guidance, we find a lot of it as alien as you find our technology.¡±

    Yet another chemical weapon detonated.

    ¡°Elder, you may very well kill them,¡± GuruGughed, ¡°I will be happy to perform my function as an otherspeaker, and you can converse with them once they return to their natural habitat.¡±

    Elder wiggled his numerous projections happily.

    ¡°Elder also handles our waste. He wonders exactly how you achieve the same without our growtech.¡±

    ¡°It just so happens that we are working on (ugh) up¡­ upgrading that very system!¡± Grace enthused. ¡°It¡¯s sort of a ¡®thing¡¯ for us humans. We have parts, schematics, and everything else already prepped¡­ as soon as we can get our captain toe across with the cash.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you can¡¯t grow it, can you? You must purchase or make everything and, even then, you must buy or otherwise obtain the materials.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± n replied, ¡°Which is what brought us here. Your prices are very attractive. We will be able to make some much-needed profit that we (hurk) can¡­ that we can put right back into our vessel. It needs a little work.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m detaining you with our silly questions!¡± GuruG eximed, ¡°I must apologize. It¡¯s just such a novelty to actually have others visit us truly face to face! It means a lot to the same.¡±

    ¡°No¡­ no apology necessary,¡± n replied smoothly, well¡­ as smoothly as he could, ¡°We are also very curious about you and your tech. This station is nothing less than a marvel.¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°Besides, this has given us an opportunity to limate ourselves to your¡­ unique nature before we meet with your merchants.¡±

    ¡°Do you grow food up here, too?¡± Grace asked, ¡°And what about water?¡±

    ¡°I am happy your curiosity is also not satiated,¡± GuruG said, ¡°The answer is yes to both. However, if you have been experiencing difficulties as it is, our ¡®gardens¡¯ are quite simply out of the question without respirators. You couldn¡¯t handle it, even with your human bravado. Our waste treatment nts are even worse. Many of us can¡¯t go in there unprotected. It would likely kill you. Most of our water is extracted from that system, so it is also difficult¡­ without respirators, perhaps fully enclosed breathing aids. You do have those, correct?¡±

    ¡°We do.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve more than proven yourselves. Bring some of those next time, and we¡¯ll give you the full tour,¡± GuruG said. ¡°And we¡¯ve received word from the surface. If you have the stomach for it, they would love to receive you as well.¡±

    GuruG wiggled a protrusion enticingly.

    ¡°And there is a lot more fresh air there as well,¡± he said. ¡°If you can stand this crowded and joyous space, you will find the surface much more tolerable. At the very least, you would be able to retreat outside, and you would be able to meet with the real trade representatives, not their agents who receive their pay as a portion of what they sell. It may be strange to you, but it is our way.¡±

    ¡°Comphthon,¡± Grace muffled through her face tunic.

    ¡°She is trying to saymission,¡± n smirked, ¡°And I think we all know who won.¡±

    Grace yanked the tunic from her head.

    ¡°You know <em>nothing</em>!¡± she growled as she popped n with her shirt like it was a gym towel. ¡°Don¡¯t lie to our wonderful new friend and tell him that moving my shirt to my face was anything other than a sign of respect to Elder over there!¡±

    Both GuruG and Elder burst into so muchughter that n considered a simr sign of respect.

    ¡°By the crusty old ancestors,¡± GuruG said through an unending stream of farts, ¡°you guys¡­ Are you <em>sure</em> you aren¡¯t hosts?¡±

    ¡°I had a tapeworm once,¡± Grace said. ¡°It¡¯s sort of like you but smells a <em>lot</em> better.¡±

    ¡°Grace!¡± n eximed. The Freekegg seemed to enjoy their humor, but that might be overdoing it.

    ¡°What¡¯s a ¡®tapeworm¡¯? Are they friendly?¡±

    ¡°Oh, very friendly,¡± Grace smirked, ¡°They just <em>love</em> us.¡±

    ¡°Are they sapient?¡±

    ¡°No, but they make lovely pets. So easy to feed.¡±

    ¡°Grace. Stop it,¡± n heaved firmly. ¡°My mate likes to jest. Tapeworms are a parasite that inhabits our digestive tracts. They are not kept as pets!¡±

    ¡°They eat our shit!¡± Grace grinned causing yet another plume of Freekeggughter so thick you could literally taste it.

    ¡°They absorb nutrients from our digestive system,¡± n said as his eyes watered.

    ¡°Like I said,¡± Grace coughed, ¡°They eat our shit!¡±

    ¡°If you would have just attended those sses your parents¡­¡±

    ¡°You leave those cocksuckers out of this... Cocksucker!¡±

    This caused an exchange of thought gasses between GuruG and Elder, presumably discussing the nature of the word, ¡®cocksucker¡¯.

    Elder¡¯s reaction nearly made n and Grace pass out.

    ¡°Spore licker!¡± he eximed, unable to contain hisughter, ¡°We have the exact same concept!¡±

    ¡°I knew I liked you spore lickers!¡±

    ¡°Bad Grace! Bad!¡± n eximed with true rm as yet another powerful chemical weapon hit them.

    He looked apologetically at the two Freekegg.

    ¡°I sincerely apologize if my mate offended,¡± he said, ¡°We have no knowledge of your culture, mores¡­ (urp)¡­ or the severity of that insult¡­¡±

    He looked at the Freekegg with real concern as their guide remained silent, only sting out stink so strongly that fluid started bubbling from some of his projections.

    ¡°Grace, I swear by the void,¡± he hissed, ¡°If you have fucked this up for us¡­¡±

    ¡°No¡­ No¡­¡± GuruG gurgled, finally able to speak, ¡°We were merely very amused. Such¡­ banter¡­ is how we interact with those with whom we are friends. If you take no issue with being called a cocksucker, then we have no issue with being dubbed spore lickers. We cannot abide weak wills and easily offended natures, traits that entirely too many of the others possess. When you call us ¡®disgusting¡¯ or ¡®spore lickers¡¯ it is an entirely different situation than if one of those slimes does it.¡±

    There was another intense plume from Elder.

    ¡°Well put,¡± GuruG said to him, ¡°As he just said, we would cut one of those cocksuckers.¡±

    ¡°Cut?¡± Grace asked, her eyes sparkling.

    GuruG reached into a pocket and pulled out an item that any human would recognize, arge folding knife.

    He stroked it and the de snapped open in an instant, revealing a translucent, veined pink de.

    ¡°A switchde!¡± Grace enthused. ¡°I have the exact same thing! I left mine on the ship, though.¡±

    ¡°Bring it next time!¡± GuruG eximed. ¡°What do you make the de out of? I¡¯m pretty sure it isn¡¯t razor leaf.¡±

    ¡°Depends,¡± Grace replied, the joy of weaponry overwhelming her abused nose, ¡°We traditionally used metal, normally a ferrous alloy of some sort. We still do, but only for the cheap shit¡­ or if we are nning on destroying it after use¡­ um¡­ for reasons¡­¡±

    This triggered another fragrant chuckle.

    ¡°We now use ceramics or other materials, I like flexipane, a flexible tough engineered ss. That shit takes a razor-sharp edge, stays sharp, and is very tough. It also bends, not breaks.¡±

    ¡°Ah,¡± GuruG said as he stroked his knife, ¡°Rock tech razor leaf!¡±

    ¡°If we are getting <em>really</em> fancy,¡± she said, ¡°we will use monowire but that is actually <em>too</em> sharp. If you aren¡¯t trained in how to use one, you will probably lose something you would rather keep.¡±

    ¡°You can fix your monomolecr wire to knife?!?¡± GuruG bubbled. ¡°<em>How?!?</em>¡±

    Grace, excited by her favorite subject in the whole gxy, excitedly inhaled¡­ and regretted it.

    As she doubled over, gagging, n smiled.

    ¡°That might be a subject for once we are back on our ship,¡± n said, ¡°or on the surface. Once Grace gets on that subject, you may want to prepare sustenance and getfortable. It will be a while before she shuts up.¡±

    ¡°Fuc¡­ Fuck¡­ Fuck you¡­¡± Grace affectionately gagged.

    Elder released a mystified stink, and GuruG farted in kind.

    After a brief discussion, GuruG turned to the pair.

    ¡°We¡¯re confused. Fuck is a crude term for your sex act, something you like. Yet, based on context, that was an insult. Unless you humans are truly superior to other others, you couldn¡¯t be interested in fornication at this point in time.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t underestimate us,¡± Grace said, recovering a bit. ¡°In fact, what do you say, n? Want to give these guys a demonstration?¡±

    ¡°Would you? It would be most interesting!¡± GuruG enthused.

    Elder seemed to agree.

    ¡°Grace, I may very well kill you for this,¡± n hissed.

    ¡°And here I thought you were a diplomat,¡± Graceughed as the Freekegg did the same, ¡°I can¡¯t believe that you of all people are refusing the (hurk) opportunity for a cultural exchange with such a promising and delightful people!¡±

    ¡°Could we record it forter study?¡±

    ¡°I always did want a sex tape!¡± Grace grinned, ¡°Sure! Just give us a copy!¡±

    ¡°By the hungering Void that surrounds us, why did I fall for a goddamned <em>Dragon</em>?¡±

    ¡°Well, I was offering to show them exactly why!¡±

    GrurG and Elder turned to each other, furiously stinking at each other.

    ¡°Did¡­ Did you just swear upon the <em>Void</em>?¡± GrurG said oddly still outgassing. ¡°I know some of you others will use it as profanity, but that sounded a <em>lot</em> like sphemy-grade, the good stuff, the oaths you make using the very gods themselves!¡±

    ¡°Did I offend?¡± n asked, ¡°If so¡­¡±

    ¡°No! Far from it! We are just surprised, that¡¯s all. Unlike the others we have encountered before, we worship the Void! Maybe ¡®worship¡¯ isn¡¯t the right word, but we pay it respects as if it were an Ancient One, one of the true gods, not the species that may or may not have sent us here. We reserve its use for when we <em>really</em> want to spray the walls.¡±

    ¡°An Ancient One?¡± n asked as Grace¡¯s expression turned very serious.

    ¡°Did <em>I</em> offend?¡± GuruG asked as Elder swatted him angrily, issuing a bubbling hiss.

    ¡°No,¡± n smiled, ¡°far from it¡­ This is something that I would love to discuss further¡­ NOT on our ship.¡±

    ¡°We can discuss it on the shuttle?¡± GuruG said hopefully.

    ¡°Sounds good,¡± n smiled wickedly.

 Chapter Retcon Condition One!

    Chapter Retcon Condition One!

    Karl Whyfront smiled as he walked through the vige of Tepid Creek, home of the famous Tepid Creek mildly warm springs, one of his favorite ces in all of the strange world into which he was reincarnated.

    Supposedly, he was <em>supposed</em> to be fighting this Demon Lord or something. That cute chick who gave him his magic loincloth said so. She said some other stuff, too, but he was too busy checking her out to really pay much attention.

    Since his magic loincloth exactly resembled a pair of ratty briefs, he supposed he annoyed her.

    This was a source of far too much amusement from the other champions, a source of far too much embarrassment for him, and the source of far too many fights during the first few ///Bunny: Dude! Dude! You have a problem! ///

    ///Auth0r: No, Bunny, <em>you</em> have a problem. One thing. ONE THING I asked was <em>not to crash into my abused mind when I¡¯m working on the other story!!!</em> Do you have <em>any</em> idea how pissed off I am right now? ///

    ///Bunny: Okaaaay, I¡¯ll leave you to it, then. For the record, I did try to warn you. So, don¡¯t use me of not warning youter. I¡¯m out. Peace, motherfucker. ///

    The Author sighed and facepalmed. This probably wasn¡¯t good.

    ///Auth0r: Wait. You wouldn¡¯t do this without a reason. ///

    ///Bunny: You think? ///

    ///Auth0r: So, what¡¯s so important that you invaded the other storyline? ///

    ///Bunny: I didn¡¯t know you had all of this going on! This is pretty coo¡­ Hey asshole! Why is my name on that crypt? ///

    ///Auth0r: It¡¯s nothing, just a little easter egg. Don¡¯t worry about it. ///

    ///Bunny: Oh, I think I AM going to worry about it. What the fuck, dude? ///

    ///Auth0r: No spoilers! ///

    ///Bunny: Fuck your spoilers! Tell me why the fuck <em>I am in a tomb</em>!!! ///

    ///Auth0r: Can we discuss this¡­ off screen? ///

    ///Bunny: Fine. But this isn¡¯t over, asshole. Remember, I have your Stable Diffusion prompts. ¡°I¡¯m using it to make illustrations for my writing,¡± my simted fluffy cottontail. ///

    ///Auth0r: I¡¯m not going to dignify that with a reply. So, can we get to why you are here in the first ce? ///

    ///Bunny: Ask the me over in your other story. Maybe they will tell you. ///

    [Bunny has disconnected ??]

    ¡°Shit,¡± the auth0r muttered. ¡°Better remind myself to delete that bit. My readers will lose their shit.¡±

    ///Frost: Well, it may entice them to read your other fiction if they haven¡¯t yet. ///

    ///Auth0r: I would <em>never</em> do something that shitty. What sort of <em>asshole</em> do you take me for? ///

    ///Frost: Just a suggestion, dear. ///

    ///Auth0r: Wait. Am I talking to ¡°Frost¡± or ¡°Frostie¡±? ///

    ///Frost: Who? ///

    ///Auth0r: Never mind. You just answered my question. ///

    ///Frost: Is there a ¡°Frostie¡± in your other story?... Oh. We will talk about thister, <em>privately</em>. Anyhow, on to the reason for our intrusion. We were having a visit with Daemon, who says hi. Actually, he said hi about seven times, the goof. We were chatting about the story, and he was surprised concerning the name of one of your viins. ///

    ///Auth0r: Really? Which one? ///

    ///Frost: Darling, sweetie¡­ Do you realize that in your random pull-a-name-from-a-hat way, you inadvertently named someone the <em>wrong name</em>? ///

    ///Auth0r: What? ///

    ///Frost: I¡¯d rather not say on screen. Why don¡¯t you review the earlier chapters involving Cerberus, carefully, and really think about the names? In particr, the names directly connected to the blue menace. Say them aloud if you must. I¡¯ll wait. ///

    ///Auth0r: BRB ///

    ///Auth0r: Holy shit. ///

    ///Frost: I take it that you were not aware of the unfortunateplete coincidence since you were new to the area and living like a NEET? ///

    ///Auth0r: Of course, I didn¡¯t know!!! Oh, this is bad! Oh, this is very bad! What are the odds? ///

    ///Frost: Further proof that both God exists, and you pissed him off, somehow. I think we both know what that ¡°somehow¡± is. ///

    ///Auth0r: Fuuuuuck. I hate retcons. ///

    ///Frost: You could always leave it (snerk). <strong><em>What¡¯s the worst that can happen?</em></strong> ¡­ Did I do it right? :D ///

    ///Auth0r: Fuck you, Frost. ///

    ***

    Author¡¯s note: In a cosmic level coincidence, I named a certain very unpleasant person who met an even more unpleasant end a name <em>identical</em> to someone in my localmunity.

    As a result, one character¡¯s name is being changed. This will in no way change the narrative or anything that happened before, during, or after their appearance or demise. It¡¯s just a quiet little name change.

    I do have a couple of local readers and¡­ Yeah. Retcon.

    Thanks, Daemon. I owe you one.

    Another Author¡¯s note: If you aren¡¯t familiar with the other story, it is set <em>trillions</em> of years, in the future of the Tales. In fact, trillions don¡¯t even cut it. Time gets weird, but it¡¯s roughly 10^102 or 10^103 years in the future, more or less. So, sometime between now and heat death <em>of more than one universe</em>, Bunny¡¯s ass winds up in a ¡°crypt¡± or static encryption container. Exactly how that happened, and the actual contents of the said vault have yet to be disclosed.

    Seriously, it¡¯s a very, very¡­ <em>very</em> long time. The fact that anything remains after that long is the surprising part, not that she is in a ¡°crypt¡± (whatever that means).

    It was just a humorous easter egg for readers of the other series, who get pummeled with easter eggs from this story all the time.

    That is all the information that they have at this time, so there is no actual need to read the other story if this is the only reason why you would.

 Chapter 295: Stankworld Pt 3

    Chapter 295: Stankworld Pt 3

    ¡°You are actually invited to the <em>surface?</em>¡± Captain Vexp said through Grace¡¯smunicator, his face disying an expression of annelid confusion and surprise. ¡°Everything I have read indicates that they are difficult, insr, and spiteful, both literally and figuratively malodorous.¡±

    Grace winced as a wave of stinkyughter from the ever-present horde of Freekegg washed over her.

    ¡°And those malodorous assholes are <em>within earshot</em>, you cocksucker!¡±

    More bubbly tulentughter.

    ¡°Oh! Oh, dear!¡± Captain Vexp stammered, ¡°Please convey my¡­¡±

    ¡°Thanks for fucking up the trade deal of a lifetime, <em>sporelicker</em>.¡±

    Grace gagged a little at the ¡°roaring¡±ughter that surrounded her.

    ¡°Oh, Heap!¡±

    ¡°And should I be unable to <em>discuss</em> this with you personally,¡± Grace said with mock anger, ¡°They are also terribly <em>proud</em> and incredibly <em>violent</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°Please! Let me talk to¡­¡±

    ¡°Just plucking your plume, captain dude,¡± Grace snerked. ¡°These guys are <em>awesome</em>. n and I are getting along with them great!¡±

    ¡°And forgive Grace, Captain,¡± n said over her shoulder, ¡°Our greeting-inducing hosts¡­¡±

    n coughed as even moreughter threatened to render him unconscious.

    ¡°¡­enjoy such banter to no end. Grace was simply acting in ordance with their customs¡­ and ours,¡± he added with a smile. ¡°The Freekegg are so vile and difficult that they are nearly <em>human</em>. We are taking a short excursion to the surface to meet a number of curious individuals as well as having an audience with the ancestors. Quite the honor.¡±

    ¡°The ancestors?¡±

    ¡°Oh, they are¡ª¡±

    n was silenced by a slimy fleshy phallic pore-covered tentacle-sized protuberance wrapping around his head, covering his mouth.

    <em>It was very effective!</em>

    As n doubled over and somehow managed another greeting, no small feat considering the fact that he was nearly out of greeting juice, Grace said, ¡°Oh, those? They are just some old monuments, but they are supposed to be really nifty.¡±

    A wave of nauseating approval washed over the pair.

    ¡°I see¡­¡± the captain replied, unconvinced of nothing but the wisdom of not inquiring further. Then again, not inquiring further seemed to be the way to handle the humans. It was just easier that way.

    ¡°We gotta go and make us some serious bank!¡± Grace enthused happily. ¡°Oh, and it doesn¡¯t smell bad here <em>at all</em>. The station is <em>wonderful</em> as well. You guys should really check it out.¡±

    ¡°You really do consider us dim, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°HA!¡± Grace snorted. ¡°Well, we have a to sniff. Later, boss.¡±

    ¡°You actually work for that stale poot?¡± GuruG asked after the call ended.

    ¡°As far as he knows,¡± n smirked as he finally recovered. ¡°Sometimes, it¡¯s better to have someone else ¡®in charge¡¯, if you know what I mean.¡±

    ¡°Another wonderful simrity between us!¡± GuruGughed. ¡°Come on, let¡¯s get you respirators.¡±

    ¡°Oh, we don¡¯t need those,¡± Grace replied.

    ¡°Yes, you do,¡± GuruG replied.

    ¡°I thought the surface was supposed to be <em>better</em>,¡± n said as he wiped the slime from his face with his tunic.

    ¡°It¡¯s not for the surface,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°It¡¯s for the <em>shuttle</em>.¡±

    ***

    Another strange membrane door opened, revealing arge chamber filled withrge vats filled with writhing <em>things</em>, slowly rotating tforms surrounded by tentacles extruding goo that immediately hardened as it formedplex shapes, odd spongy structures that were constantly being sprayed with a foul-smelling liquid, beds filled with <em>dirt</em> from which <em>parts</em> were growing¡­

    ¡­ and a few devices that looked <em>exactly</em> like manualthes and milling machines. (Some things are truly universal.)

    ¡°Wee to our main fabrication facility!¡± GuruG enthused, ¡°You are the first others to enter here. You are also the first to be able to handle the unique atmosphere.¡±

    ¡°Barely,¡± n smiled. ¡°This is <em>fascinating</em>¡­ Grace! Don¡¯t touch that!¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to, asshole!¡± (She was.)

    ¡°I bet you¡¯ve never seen the like, have you?

    ¡± GuruG asked proudly.

    ¡°Not exactly this,¡± n replied, ¡°Grace!¡± he eximed, ¡°No running!¡±

    ¡°Is this macro-tech?¡± Grace excitedly gagged as he peered into one of the giant vats filled with¡­ things.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what you are referring to,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°But those lifeforms are in the process of building a ratherplex device. Each one acts both independently and in concert with the others ording to a production skein that contains the overall design. They are supplied with nutrients containing all of the proteins and minerals necessary to construct the design¡­¡±

    He waved a protuberance over a slimy panel.

    ¡°¡­in this case, a sensor,¡± he said.

    ¡°Neat!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°We have something simr, but we use macrobots instead of those wiggling things¡­ and the (ugh) Terrans have full-bore nanotech¡­ which ispletely unnecessary most of the time. We have nanotech technology, too,¡± she added defensively, ¡°but we don¡¯t use it for everything.¡± (Because they <em>can¡¯t</em>)

    ¡°Rock tech grow vats!¡± GuruG eximed, ¡°Now that <em>is</em> cool! Can you hook us up with scans or your production skeins¡­ and a way of interpreting them?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure we can work something out,¡± n smiled.

    ¡°Holding out on us?¡± GuruG inquired.

    ¡°Only as much as you are doing the same,¡± n smiled. ¡°We would be all too delighted to exchange technology with you!¡±

    ¡°Especially since you will likely steal that technology and at no cost to yourself?¡±

    ¡°Are you sure you aren¡¯t a human?¡± n asked to the delight of GuruG and the ¡°machinists¡±.

    ¡°Now, here¡¯s something I <em>know</em> you haven¡¯t seen before,¡± GuruG said proudly as he led them to a smaller vat filled with a clear green gtinous goop with an organic-looking framework above it.

    ¡°This is what we use when we want to make a small item quickly,¡± GuruG said as a te slowly descended into the fluid. ¡°It is here where we will fabricate theponents for your respirators¡­ They should smell no worse than the rest of the station.¡±

    ¡°Ooo!¡± Grace said, nearly plunging her face into the goop. ¡°How does it work?¡±

    ¡°Once the te reaches the bottom of the tank, a strong electromaic wave emitter transmits gammas with a wavelength of¡­¡±

    He fiddled with a small electronic device.

    ¡°Nanometers!¡± he eximed, ¡°Two hundred nanometers! This causes the low-viscosity gtin in the tank to transform into a solid! I know this may be difficult to¡­¡±

    He looked at n and Grace, who were looking suitably impressed, but smelling otherwise.

    ¡°You already have this, don¡¯t you?¡± he said.

    ¡°For about a thousand years,¡± n replied. ¡°We use, of course, use ¡®rock tech¡¯.¡±

    ¡°<em>How?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Pretty much the same thing, except we use a metal ball screw and a servomotor to move a metal te into a chemical resin, and we use an array of ultraviolet emitters to harden the resin.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t use a single source and a masking organism?¡±

    ¡°We used to,¡± Grace replied.

    ¡°We did?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Yep!¡± Grace replied happily. ¡°We used archaic liquid crystal to do the masking. Back in the cold dark, we made a few of ¡®em. The resolution sucks, but it works great! An emitter array is much better, though.¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± GuruG said, ¡°But do you have differentpounds that, when hardened, have different¡­ Of course, you do,¡± heughed.

    ¡°I suspect your ¡®resins¡¯ are much better than ours, though,¡± Grace said. ¡°We have some great ones, but I suspect they are nothingpared to what you have. They are also a very expensive way to produce anything suitable for real service. Aside from one-off custom pieces, prototypes, and ¡®toys,¡¯ we use our robo facs for any serious work. Some of those use radiation-curedpounds, but those are usually just for coatings.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± GuruG said, secretly quite relieved, ¡°Our photocoagtion machines create products that are more than suitable for regr use¡­¡±

    He emitted what n and Grace already recognized as a ¡®conniving¡¯ scent.

    ¡°And are very stable, avable with many properties, and could be provided at a very reasonable cost.¡±

    ¡°We would be <em>very</em> interested in that,¡± n said as Grace happily vibrated. ¡°Our current ship¡¯s fabrication facilities are¡­cking.¡±

    ¡°If we could get information on the properties and handling procedures for your¡­ ¡®coagnts,¡¯¡± Grace said, ¡°that would be great.¡±

    ¡°They will have to be tranted,¡± GuruG said as the organic te emerged from the goo with two facemasks with various openings in the flexible rubbery material, ¡°But we can have that well before you depart.¡±

    GuruG reached out and pulled the parts from the te, shaking them off.

    ¡°You can just touch them like that?¡± Grace asked.

    ¡°Yes?¡± GuruG replied.

    ¡°Awesome! Our resins are just a little bit toxic. At least the good ones are.¡±

    ¡°No guarantee that ours aren¡¯t for you,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°But they aren¡¯t for us. We still rinse the parts off, just to remove the goo.¡±

    Another Freekegg approached, holding a tray of freshly rinsedponents.

    ¡°These were coagted in other vats, each containing a different coagnt,¡± GuruG said as the Freekegg machinist efficiently assembled the variousponents into two rather nice-looking respirators with clear facemasks and external filters.

    The machinist then offered the respirators to n and Grace.

    Cautiously, the pair donned them.

    ¡°Oh, these (gag) are niiice,¡± Grace said, ¡°Stinks to high heaven, but the fit is amazing! Asfortable as it is repugnant!¡±

    She removed the respirator and started poking and stretching it.

    ¡°We <em>definitely</em> want to discuss these organic coagnts,¡± she said.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure we can work something out,¡± GuruG said pleasantly as another conniving cloud wafted past.

 Chapter 296: Stankworld (4)

    Chapter 296: Stankworld (4)

    ¡°The shuttle will beunching in about an hour,¡± GuruG said cheerfully as they left the fabrication facility. ¡°Would like to look around a little more?¡±

    ¡°Certainly,¡± n replied, ¡°Grace¡­¡±

    Grace wasn¡¯t paying attention. She was staring with rapt fascination at a biomechanical hydraulic press.

    ¡°Is that a <em>heart</em>?¡± she asked.

    ¡°In a way,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°It circtes nutrients to the overall structure and pressurizes the logic organs.¡±

    ¡°<em>Pressurizes?!?</em> Are¡­ are you using <em>fluid power logic</em>?¡±

    ¡°You humans are familiar with that?¡±

    ¡°We are?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Sort of,¡± Grace replied with a touch of awe, ¡°But it¡¯s ancient history, and I mean <em>ancient</em>. We covered the basics in engineering ss, but¡­¡±

    ¡°You went to ss?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Even I didn¡¯t have the balls to skip <em>Dragon school</em>, dude,¡± Grace snorted, ¡°You did NOT want a meeting with the truancy officer. <em>Trust me</em>.¡±

    n smiled ruefully. It was much the same for him and his family. While having a ¡°good¡± reputation, that was only rtive to their peers.

    ¡°Anyhow,¡± Grace enthused, ¡°they say that anything you can do with aputer, you can do with fluid power!... It would take up an entire and need a Dyson sphere, but¡­¡±

    ¡°And it would take a year for every microsecond,¡± GuruGughed. ¡°However, it is more than adequate for simpledder logic, which is more than sufficient for many applications where your outsider microprocessors are pure overkill. I mean, why does a door need aputer?¡±

    ¡°Security, mostly,¡± n replied. ¡°Let me guess, your locks know you by smell.¡±

    ¡°Of course!¡± GuruG replied. ¡°It¡¯s near perfect security¡­ although a lock is only as strong as the door¡­¡±

    A cloud of amusement floated past. It really wasn¡¯t <em>that</em> bad once you got used to it.

    ¡°¡­but I think you humans know what I¡¯m talking about.¡±

    n¡¯s lips curled in a slight smile, and Grace unabashedly grinned.

    ¡°I have <em>absolutely</em> no idea what you are talking about,¡± she said innocently. ¡°How can you get past a locked door?¡±

    ¡°And without a single waft of falsehood!¡± GuruGughed, ¡°Ancestor crust! I like you spore licks!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we can lie our asses off,¡± Grace said, ¡°Now, back to the important stuff. About this fluid logic, how do you¡­¡±

    n sighed fondly. Grace was always pretty. But when she was so unguardedly excited, she was beautiful.

    ***

    A few minutester, GuruG and n leaned against a goo tech grow vat as Grace and <em>all</em> of the shop Freekegg wielding tablets furiously typed and gestured back and forth.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± n smiled, ¡°we¡¯ve lost her. I guess that tour will have to wait for another time. It will take both of us to drag her out of the shop.¡±

    ¡°I would offer to allow you to remain until the next departure,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°But your arrival has already been anticipated and nned for. The same await you with great eagerness.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m certain we will return,¡± n replied, ¡°for thepany, if nothing else.¡±

    A fart of happiness was his reward.

    ***

    ¡°You certainly made an impression,¡± GuruG said to Grace as they walked through a maze of intestine-like corridors.¡±

    ¡°Same for your guys,¡± Grace replied. ¡°Those spore licks know their shit!¡±

    ¡°A careful examination of one¡¯s feces is always advisable,¡± GuruG said, ¡°But no feces was generated during your visit. Even we don¡¯t shit on the floor.¡±

    ¡°HA!¡± Grace eximed, ¡°It¡¯s a human idiom. It means that someone knows something real good.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± n corrected. ¡°They know something very¡­¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the Freekegg fart for ¡®Shut up, you fucking nerd?¡±

    <em>GuuurglePootRiiiiiiip¡­.</em>

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace horped, ¡°That.¡±

    She grinned.

    ¡°Holy shit! It actually shut him up!¡± sheughed. ¡°Can I get a bottle of that?¡± she asked and then backed away from the wall ofughter that mmed into her poor nose.

    ¡°I know I said that we couldn¡¯t infect you,¡± GuruG bubbled, ¡°But I think we may have to check.¡±

    ¡°She was always this rancid,¡± n snerkheaved.

    ¡°And you <em>love</em> it,¡± Grace purred as she slithered all over him and tousled his hair.

    ¡°Is this the initiation of the sex act?¡± GuruG asked excitedly as he pulled out his phone.

    ¡°Mmmmmaybe¡­¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Aww¡­ What the FUCK is that?!?¡± Grace eximed as what only be described as a rotting six-legged zombie dog padded around the corner.

    It pooted happily.

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just¡­ hmm¡­ Let¡¯s call it Thing.¡±

    ¡°Is it one of you?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Yes, it is part of the same,¡± GuruG said, ¡°but it¡¯s different. It both has a smaller brain and less room overall. That means that it isn¡¯t as intelligent as my type. It also has limited ability to interact with the environment due to theck of hands.¡±

    Thing approached and started both sniffing and wiggling its projections curiously.

    n winced. It not only looked like it was rotting, but it also smelled that way. It was walking week-old roadkill.

    It started smelling <em>even worse</em> as GuruG responded in kind.

    Despite partially getting used to it, n¡¯s eyes started to water.

    ¡°Thing wanted to know what you were,¡± GuruG said.

    ¡°Cool,¡± Grace replied, ¡°Now tell <em>us</em> what <em>that</em> is!¡±

    ¡°Thing is part of the same,¡± GuruG said, but the ancestor¡¯s gift isn¡¯t limited to just my kind. Many other life forms on our world can receive it, both by ident and design. All have something to offer, and all are weed into the same.¡±

    ¡°Huh.¡±

    ¡°Many of Thing here arise, both by ident and by intent. They are very useful¡­¡±

    GuruG knelt as Thing nuzzled and licked him, smearing him with ooze.

    ¡°¡­and we just <em>like</em> them. They are beloved friends andpanions and treasured as such. They have been part of the same since the beginning. Many of us consider them as part of our group of closest friends and associates. I believe your word for such groups is ¡®family¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Of course, you have zombie dogs,¡± Grace grinned.

    ¡°Do you have something simr?¡±

    ¡°We did,¡± Grace replied, ¡°We still have a few of them, but they are very expensive, hard to get, and often overbred.¡±

    ¡°New genes were being smuggled in from the Republic, though.¡± n said, ¡°Or they were until the blockade, anyway.¡±

    ¡°Did have them?¡± GuruG asked, ¡°Blockade?¡±

    ¡°This will take a while, longer than we have before it is time to board¡­¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s really cool!¡±

    ¡°Most would disagree with you, Grace.¡±

    ¡°Okay¡­ Badass?¡±

    ¡°Better.¡±

    ***

    The corridor came to a dead end sealed with another leathery wall.

    GuruG paused and poked at it. Satisfied, he stroked it, and the wall opened into a giant, busy, and crowded chamber.

    ¡°I poked at the wall to ensure that this chamber was pressurized,¡± GuruG said as they entered. ¡°It¡¯s always good to check.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have indicators?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Why? You just poke the wall.¡±

    ¡°Makes sense¡­ I guess.¡±

    n and Grace looked around in amazement at what was clearly a starport dock, but unlike anything they had ever seen. Bright phosphorescent oblong spheroids floated along the ceiling, illuminating the entire space, and smaller ¡°task lights¡± flitted about here and there.

    ¡°Infected¡± creatures the size of a goat to creatures the size of elephants, all of which were slowly rotting, were moving about loading, unloading, and shuffling cargo to and from several¡­

    ¡°Did that shuttle just <em>move</em>?¡± Grace asked as a chitinous shuttle shifted slightly and looked at them curiously, with what Grace initially thought were cockpit windows answering her question.

    ¡°Yes,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°And that one will be the one we take to the surface.¡±

    Its ¡°rear hatch¡± stretched open invitingly.

    ¡°It looks like its body is ready,¡± GuruG said with apleteck of irony. ¡°You might want to put on your respirators now¡­ I assume you now realize why I insisted you have them. Even we think these things are a bit much.¡±

    The couple put on their respirators.

    ¡°Honestly,¡± n said as he crouched to enter the ship¡¯s asshole, ¡°I¡¯m not even surprised anymore.¡±

    ***

    After the trio crawled inside and secured themselves by sticking themselves to the walls, the shuttle¡¯s ¡°asshole¡± closed, and a pale blue glow emanated from little, star-like photophores covering the inside walls dimly illuminated the cavity.

    ¡°Did we just crawl up this thing¡¯s <em>ass</em>?¡± Grace asked.

    ¡°In a way,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°This chamber is part of the shuttle bug¡¯s digestive system.¡±

    ¡°Of course, it is.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why you want respirators in here,¡± GuruGughed. ¡°Even the more tender of the same use them in one of these.¡±

    ¡°Does the actual <em>waste</em> pass through here?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Where else would it go?¡± GuruG asked, a bit mystified, ¡°This is the terminus of its digestive tract¡­ We clean it out,¡± GuruG added as he beheld n and Grace¡¯s expressions.

    ¡°So, just to be clear,¡± Grace said, ¡°I am glued to the inside of a bug¡¯s ass?¡±

    ¡°Exactly!¡± GuruG said.

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t I be?... It¡¯s another expression,¡± she said as GuruG¡¯s protuberances twitched in what she was starting to recognize as confusion, ¡°It means¡­ um¡­ It¡¯s an eptance of an unusual situation, I guess.¡±

    ¡°I never thought about it,¡± GuruG said as the shuttle started slightly rolling back and forth, ¡°We¡¯re getting onto the departure conveyor.¡±

    ¡°Are these shuttle bugs part of the same?¡± n asked.

    ¡°No,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°And we¡¯re not entirely sure where they came from. We¡¯ve always had the guys. They reallye in handy, though. We use them for everything out here, little ones for deliveries and small transfers, as well as a lot of the outside work. When they get bigger, we use them for cargo and transportation.¡±

    He patted the wall.

    ¡°This one is still a little guy. They get much bigger.¡±

    ¡°And can handle reentry?¡±

    ¡°I hope so,¡± GuruGughed. ¡°If not, it¡¯s going to be really embarrassing.¡±

    He chuckled as n smirked at his own stupid question.

    ¡°They actually need periodic reentry, or a good sma wash, as they grow,¡± GuruG said as there was a shuddering lurch followed by a feeling of intense eleration, then weightlessness.

    ¡°Launch cannon,¡± GuruG said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°Saves on fuel as well as keeps the area around the station clear¡­ Oh!¡±

    GuruG¡¯s projections wiggled apologetically.

    ¡°A bitte, but how do you guys handle eleration? Still alive?¡±

    ¡°Oh, that was fine,¡± Grace said dismissively, ¡°We can handle a <em>lot</em> more than that.¡±

    ¡°Return to orbit involves a ¡®lot more¡¯,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°We do have a few other craft if it¡¯s a problem.¡±

    ¡°Fuel?¡± Grace said, eyes sparkling. ¡°Do you <em>actually</em> use <em>rockets</em>?¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Cooooool!¡± Grace eximed.

    ¡°You still use <em>chemically powered</em> reaction thrusters?¡± n asked.

    The cabin shuddered slightly as a quiet roaring sound could be heard.

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t we?¡± GuruG shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s perfectly eptable for a lot of applications. They are cheap to grow¡­ or grow naturally in something like this shuttle bug. They are also much lighter than a reactionless thruster and require nothing special as far as materials go.¡±

    ¡°Lighter?¡± Grace asked. ¡°What about the fuel?¡±

    ¡°As opposed to a reactionless thruster with the same specific impulse, the <em>reactor</em> necessary to power it, <em>its</em> fuel storage, the energy bank, and the infrastructure needed to handle all of that?¡± GuruG replied, ¡°A tank of methane and some liquid oxygen can weigh less, for short trips and is a lot cheaper. If you need constant thrust over long time spans, then it falls short.¡±

    GuruG paused and sniffed the air for a few moments. He wiggled his projections happily.

    ¡°Just chatting with the bug,¡± he said, ¡°It¡¯s doing great and has been cleared for terminal burn,¡± GuruG said. ¡°Now we just kick back for a few hours for the starport to swing back by, and we¡¯re stinking¡­ That¡¯s one of our idioms, as best as I can trante it. It means we are doing well.¡±

    He pooted aplex little toot.

    ¡°It asked how we were doing,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°This bug is a great one. It¡¯s very kind and takes pride in its work, definitely a keeper.¡±

    The little chamber made a bubbling sound that heralded the release of something so foul that GuruG¡¯s protuberances withdrew a bit.

    ¡°Be d you have respirators,¡± heughed, ¡°The bug was just expressing its pleasure at mypliment and asked about his future. I told it that we already requested its return after its molt ispleted. My money says that it is going to make it all the way.¡±

    The walls bubbled for a full ten seconds.

    GuruG¡¯s eyes started to water a bit as n and Grace could feel <em>something</em> on their skin.

    There was suddenly a sound that no spacer wants to hear, a leak.

    ¡°Rx!¡± GuruG eximed as he saw n and Grace¡¯s reactions. ¡°It¡¯s cool. Shuttle Bug is just turning over the air in here before he kills me,¡± he added with augh. ¡°It will keep the atmosphere at proper levels. Don¡¯t worry.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m working on it,¡± Grace said as she eyed a small hole that had opened nearby, triggering augh from GuruG and a little burping sound from the walls.

    ¡°Shuttle Bug says that, if necessary, you can void yourself. It doesn¡¯t mind.¡±

    ¡°Well, tell it that it can go and fuck itself.¡±

    ¡°It says that it is looking forward to just that,¡± GuruG said between his trademark chortles. ¡°It will likely be bred this molt.¡±

    More wall bubbles¡­ and the vent pore opened a little more.

    ¡°Needless to say,¡± GuruG snickered, ¡°It¡¯s quite excited at the prospect.¡±

    ¡°So, GuruG,¡± n said, his voice slightly muffled by the respirator, ¡°You said that this shuttle bug is ¡®going all the way¡¯. What does that mean?¡±

    ¡°These bugs keep getting bigger and bigger until they can no longer live on the surface. They would copse under their own weight. At that point, if one of them is deemed good enough, it will be carried into orbit with a lot of food and water. It will then engorge itself and pupate. It will be muchrger and more durable as it metamorphizes to its final stage, a being capable of inteary travel. It will then spend the rest of its life in space. It will still grow very slowly throughout its life, but as far as we know, there isn¡¯t a maximum size, They live a <em>very</em> long time and can get <em>very</em> big.¡±

    ¡°Do they still use chemical rockets?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± GuruG said, ¡°They have muchrger storage organs and can do much more forceful and longer burns, but they still burn fuel. The inteary adults eat ice and break it down to hydrogen and oxygen, and younger ones like this guy use methane and liquid oxygen.¡±

    ¡°How do the adults liquify and electrolytically separate the ice?¡± n asked, intrigued.

    ¡°Sr energy, mostly. They can also consume debris. You know, all that shit that builds up in a system over time? The adult shuttle bugs will collect and eat it. Keeps them fed and the system clean. In fact, at the moment, the fleet is sorge that we are intentionally generating more garbage than we have to.¡±

    ¡°Those sound efficient, but not very energy intense,¡± Grace said, ¡°How long does it take to produce enough fuel?¡±

    ¡°Quite a while,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°but they have time. A bug can spend months, even years, on one leg of a trip, plenty of time to make the fuel they need¡­ though they do most of the fuel production when closer to the sun, or just take on extra hydrogen and oxygen at one of their stops if they need topping off. Every station has plenty of both.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Grace said, ¡°<em>Years?</em>¡±

    ¡°Maybe longer,¡± GuruG shrugged, ¡°A long haul from the station nearest the sun to the one furthest out can take <em>decades</em>, not that we do that run often. Most are on a specific trade route where they go to a series of stations, moving things from one to the next.¡±

    GuruG looked at them for a moment.

    ¡°Oh, right. Others don¡¯t do that. Most freight doesn¡¯t have to get anywhere especially quickly, as long as it does so predictably and regrly. We have <em>millions</em> of inteary bugs, maybe even <em>billions</em>. Each one may take years to get to a location, but that location has deliveries at whatever volume and frequency it requires.¡±

    He chuckled.

    ¡°We operate on Freekegg time, not that frantic iling around others do. Not a whole lot changes around here. Some routes haven¡¯t been adjusted in thousands of years.¡±

    ¡°Bitter experience has taught us that inflexibility invites ruin,¡± n said grimly. ¡°What happens if there is a sudden need somewhere?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t let that happen?¡± GuruGughed. ¡°But should it ur, we do have a fleet of much more¡­ advanced¡­ craft that is well equipped to deal with any ¡®sudden needs¡¯. Those can be used to carry an emergency delivery or otherwise render aid as well.¡±

    ¡°You are speaking of military vessels?¡±

    ¡°Am I?¡± GuruG said innocently, ¡°What are those?¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Grace chuckled, ¡°Don¡¯t tell us, you spore-lick.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s just say that this system isn¡¯t a particrly easy target.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why this system has <em>avoid</em> hovering over it on most charts.¡±

    ¡°Now that¡¯s just hurtful,¡± GuruG chortled. ¡°Liquify <em>one</em> asshole¡­¡±

    ¡°Tell me about it,¡± Graceughed.

    ¡°Oh, before I forget again,¡± GuruG said, ¡°You said you would tell me of what befell your home?¡±

    Grace¡¯s face lit up.

    ¡°Okay!¡± she eximed, ¡°What happened was¡­¡±

 Chapter 297: Stankworld 5, The World According to Raiders

    Chapter 297: Stankworld 5, The World ording to Raiders

    The shuttle bug happily floated through space in a high orbit around the Freekegg homeworld.

    It felt the signals from the navigation satellites, and its exterior marker lights blinked cheerfully. It was pretty much exactly where it wanted to be.

    It cocked one of its bulbous eyes, focusing its powerful long-range vision on the¡¯s surface below, looking for one of its favoritendmarks, The Great Ancestor, a mountain covered with the corpse of one of the great old ones.

    Back in the day, huge signal ancestors like itmunicated across vast distances using the¡¯s natural atmospheric currents. That method had been obsolete for hundreds of thousands of years, perhaps millions. Now, the Same used electromaicmunications using satellites or even by bouncing signals off the¡¯s atmosphere.

    Even the ancestors, notorious for their hidebound nature, agreed that this was an improvement. They weren¡¯t so sure about graviticmunications, though. They imed that it made them itch, which was quite impossible, but you know ancestors.

    It didn¡¯t really matter. Electromaicmunications worked just fine. The bug just thought gravitic technology was nifty and wanted an excuse to have some.

    The bug took a moment to ponder all of this. Space must have been very quiet and lonely back then. It loved all the noise and staticing from home, especially the music and entertainment channels. VxxLuuG and Veen in the morning were always a delight. They were so funny, <em>and</em> they yed good music. It just loved all the fanciful characters that graced that radio show. They never failed to delight. It especially liked the deranged shuttle bug. Then again, it would.

    The Great Ancestor swung into view. Hmm. Despite the satellites iming otherwise, it seemed to be slightly off course. It wasn¡¯t enough to really matter, but it was an excuse to throw some me. It liked throwing me.

    Using its small spicule jets, it rotated slightly and then fired its main thrusters for roughly a second.

    There. Now everything was <em>perfect</em>.

    It took a moment to send a brief message to the surface.

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. The navigation beacons are a little bit off. I am submitting my observations for your review.</em>

    A few momentster, it received a reply.

    <em>This is Navigation Control. Of course, of course, YOU would notice. Thanks for the incredibly minor correction. We apologize for the infinitesimal inconvenience. :D</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. You SHOULD be sorry! :p </em>

    <em>This is Navigation Control. We¡¯ve tweaked the timing. How are things now?</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. That¡¯s perfect! Thx! :*</em>

    <em>This is Navigation Control. Hey, are you the one carrying those weird xenos?</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. You mean those odorless abominations? Yes! They seem nice. One of them even removed their respirator just to see if it was as bad as GuruG imed.</em>

    <em>This is Navigation Control. And how did that work out for them?</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. About how you would expect. XD Did you know their gut juice is REALLY acidic? The abomination just sprayed my tender little chamber with HCL. LOL</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23216. Really? That is so cool!</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. You aren¡¯t the one with alien gut juice nibbling at your colon!</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23216. LOL! Is it bad?</em>

    <em>This BugKCA0A23407. Nah. It just tickles a little. It was nice to get a decent whiff out of one. They gas so little it¡¯s like I¡¯m transporting corpses. </em>

    <em>This is Navigation Control. Oh no! It¡¯s an Alien Zombie Invasion! Alert the ancestors! XD</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23216. So, the zombie dumped its guts? The static is that they are xenophages. Any sameflesh in there? LOL</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. Worse. :D There was something that looked a LOT like parts of little bug babies, antennae and all. </em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23216. Coooooool! Do they have ships like us?</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. I don¡¯t think so. I think we are too advanced for them. They don¡¯t even have rockets.</em>

    <em>This is Navigation Control. No rockets? How the hell do they travel?</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. They use rock thrusters for everything. </em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23216. What? That¡¯s just stupid.</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. Well, they ARE others, after all. Have you seen their ships? None of them make any sense at all. At least these others are cool. Ooo! The one who just spewed is talking about their history!</em>

    <em>This is Navigation Control. Neat! Put that on st!</em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23407. Will do! </em>

    <em>This is BugKCA0A23216. Nice! I¡¯ll set up a ry! </em>

    ***

    ¡°It isn¡¯t bad at all!¡± Grace eximed cheerfully as she hurriedly wiped her face with her stained tunic before quickly putting her respirator back on. ¡°Try it!¡±

    Both Grace and GuruG looked at n expectantly.

    ¡°Unless you want to admit that I am tougher¡­¡± Grace said nonchntly.

    ¡°Fine,¡± n replied grimly and removed his respirator, and inhaled.

    Gagging, coughing, and spluttering, n reced his respirator.

    ¡°If you will note,¡± he said cooly, ¡°<em>I</em> didn¡¯t toss my cookies.¡±

    ¡°That proves nothing,¡± Grace said as she crossed her arms. ¡°I just like puking, that¡¯s all.¡±

    ¡°Sure, you do,¡± n smirked.

    ¡°Want to take the respirators off again?¡±

    ¡°Do you?¡±

    Grace smiled wickedly and reached for her respirator.

    Smirking, n did the same.

    ¡°I would prefer to deliver you both alive and conscious,¡± GuruG said. ¡°I also want to hear about your history, something I likely will not be able to do if you persist in your delightful foolishness.¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± Grace said, ¡°I was about to do that, wasn¡¯t I?¡±

    She took a deep and mercifully filtered breath.

    ¡°Alright,¡± she said, ¡°We originallye from a system named Sol. We never got contacted by the greater gxy, mainly because of our location. We were too close to the Empire for anyone toe sniffing and too remote and uninteresting for the Empire. They have too many habitable worlds as it is.¡±

    ¡°Empire?¡± GuruG asked, ¡°Which one?¡±

    ¡°The Juon Empire?¡± Grace replied. ¡°You <em>are</em> familiar with them, right?¡±

    ¡°Only what we get from the othe. They sound like hole nibbles.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re okay,¡± n replied, ¡°A lot of humans are subjects of theirs. They have a pretty good deal, actually.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace said, ¡°That¡¯s where we <em>should</em> have gone.¡±

    ¡°Your gift of hindsight is truly remarkable,¡± n snarked, ¡°Too bad you were not nearly so insistent when we stole one of my uncle¡¯s ships.¡±

    ¡°You stole a starship?¡± GuruGughed.

    ¡°Just a little one,¡± Grace replied.

    ¡°By the dusty old bones,¡± GuruG chortled, ¡°Most limit their piracy to data. I see there are no half-measures among your kind.¡±

    ¡°All sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord,¡± n smirked, ¡°Therefore, there is no difference between saying ¡®goddammit¡¯ and piracy¡­¡±

    ¡°¡­or <em>murder</em>,¡± Grace added cheerfully. ¡°Besides, we worship¡­¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± GuruG spluttered, ¡°You guys murder each other?¡±

    ¡°<em>We</em> only do it asionally,¡± Grace shrugged. ¡°And only when they have iting¡­¡±

    ¡°Or get in the way of our interests,¡± n added, ¡°Or just annoys the wrong person¡­ Like my beautiful wife, for example.¡±

    ¡°Oh, like you are any better,¡± Grace snerked. ¡°<em>I </em>wasn¡¯t the one who was ¡®made¡¯ at <em>ten</em>.¡±

    ¡°I never said that I was, dear.¡±

    ¡°Um¡­¡± GuruG said, notughing this time, ¡°<em>Our</em> definition of murder is when one kills one of the <em>Same</em>. It¡¯s <em>never</em> done¡­ well¡­ almost never, only when something is very, very wrong with some<em>one</em>. Do¡­ Do humans actually <em>kill</em> each other?¡±

    ¡°All the fucking time,¡± Grace replied. ¡°In fact, we kill more of our species than anyone else ever has. In the Sol Wars alone¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a ratherplex issue,¡± n said, cutting Grace off with a sharp look. ¡°We are <em>others,</em> not the same, and do not share the same connection your species do. Instead, we form <em>organizations</em> of <em>individuals</em>, either bound by amon gic line, a family, or by location, what we refer to as nationality, or by amon interest or goal, such as the respective ¡®businesses¡¯ from which Grace and Ie. To us, our ¡®same¡¯ is members of that subgroup and that subgroup alone. Other groups of humans can be treated as ¡®others¡¯ by even our own species. You will find thismon among ¡®other¡¯ species.¡±

    ¡°And in our defense,¡± Grace said, ¡°We¡¯ve killed a <em>lot</em> more xenos than we have our own species.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± GuruG said, ¡°that¡¯s¡­ reassuring¡­ I guess¡­¡±

    ¡°Neither of us is particrly murderous without cause,¡± n replied, ¡°The vast majority of our kills have been in self-defense against those who sought to do the same to us¡­¡±

    ¡°Or were at least trying to rob us¡­ or rip us off¡­ or¡­¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Grace,¡± n interjected with another look. ¡°To those who deal with us in peace and good faith, we are peaceful, kind, and honest.¡±

    <em>Snerk</em>

    ¡°Goddamit, Grace.¡±

    ¡°Honest?¡± Graceughed, ¡°Dude. Give GuruG here at least a little credit.¡±

    ¡°I <em>said</em> to those who deal with us in good faith, Grace. The honest have nothing to worry about, <em>especially</em> when we are representing the Hunzk.¡±

    He looked over at the increasingly dubious GuruG.

    ¡°We aren¡¯t idiots,¡± he said, ¡°and we do not jeopardize good business rtionships with such nonsense¡­ Although,¡± he added with a smile, ¡°the dishonest can¡­¡±

    ¡°Expect dishonesty in return,¡± GuruG said, ¡°That is our way as well. Honesty gets honesty. Peace gets peace in return. Foolishness¡­¡±

    GuruG released a cloud of amusement that neither n nor Grace could smell.

    ¡°¡­well¡­ I suspect that we are much alike in what happens next.¡±

    ¡°You catch them on fire?¡± Grace grinned.

    ¡°We tend to use enzymes,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°But the effect is much the same.¡±

    ¡°Cooooool!¡±

    ¡°Actually, the reaction is quite exothermic.¡±

    ¡°I love you guys!¡± Grace eximed.

    ¡°So, you humans do kill each other and with distressing regrity,¡± GuruG said, ¡°but you don¡¯t kill members of your Same?¡±

    ¡°Correct,¡± n replied, ¡°Doing so is as uneptable to us as it is to you. It is probably a little more likely to happen, but is it considered one of the worst things we can do. You don¡¯t betray your own¡­¡±

    ¡°Not if you want to keep breathing,¡± Grace added.

    GuruG dipped his protuberances in a nod and visibly rxed.

    ¡°I apologize for making you discuss such ufortable concepts,¡± he said. ¡°I also wish to rify that we only consider the killing of the Same as ¡®murder¡¯. The killing of others is simply killing, not that we are nning on doing either of you a mischief. As you said, we only kill those who pose a threat¡­ or really anger us, of course,¡± he added with augh.

    ¡°It¡¯s not ufortable for us,¡± Grace said, ¡°Trust me. It¡¯s actually a good thing we covered this before I got into my little history lesson. Humans killing humans is a <em>big</em> part of it. We nearly extinctified ourselves.¡±

    ¡°You killed each other to the point that the survival of your species was in question?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace shrugged, ¡°Shit happens. So, anyway, the Sol Wars¡­¡±

    She stretched, adjusting her position in the sticky softness of the shuttle bug¡¯s colon.

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± she mused, looking upward at the glowing photophores overhead. ¡°Where to start¡­ Before the Yellowstone disaster¡­¡±

    ¡°That was a supervolcano that wiped out all agriculture for two years as well as causing a massive ecological disaster,¡± n added.

    ¡°Yeah, that,¡± Grace nodded.

    ¡°A mere supervolcanic eruption nearly eliminated your species?¡± GuruG asked. ¡°Could you not simply prevent it or, at the very least, properly prepare? That should have only been an inconvenience at worst.¡±

    ¡°Coulda, woulda, shoulda,¡± Grace shrugged. ¡°It was a lot more economical to keep most food production on Earth. Space on stations is expensive. Besides, what are the odds, right?¡±

    ¡°But surely you detected the event well in advance,¡± GuruG said, his protuberances wiggling in shocked confusion.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace snickered, ¡°About that. The powers that be suppressed the information and allowed the vast majority of us to be caughtpletely off guard. Oh, <em>they</em> prepared, but they left everyone else to starve.¡±

    <em>¡°Why?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°They were assholes.¡±

    ¡°Again,¡± n said, ¡°it was a bit moreplicated than them just being assholes. Look at it from their point of view. They believed, and quite rightly so, that there was no way for the entire popce to prepare. There was quite simply not enough to go around. They believed, correctly, I might add, that their civilization was at an end. The only thing that information would have brought was panic and anarchy, preventing <em>anyone</em> from being prepared. They made the quite reasonable decision to gather a gically viable poption and the means to sustain them as well as securing key technology and supplies that were intended to rebuild civilization, and the human race, once the ash settled.¡±

    He looked at GuruG.

    ¡°Your history is a long one,¡± he said, ¡°have your people never encountered such a disaster, one that caused a massive depoption event? We call these ¡®bottlenecks¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Several,¡± GuruG said. ¡°In each case, what little resources that remained were carefully managed in order to ensure the survival of the Same with as few losses as possible.¡±

    ¡°Mmm, Hmm,¡± Grace said with a raised eyebrow, ¡°And those ¡®losses¡¯? They were okay with it?¡±

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t they be?¡± GuruG replied, mystified, ¡°The survival of the Same as a whole was at stake. Their sacrifices were for the most noble, most honorable, of causes, the survival of the Same. Each time, there were more volunteers than there was a need for sacrifices.¡±

    GuruG emitted a little spurt of ironic dark mirth.

    ¡°Of course, the fact their names were entered in the skeins of honor, their ce among the most honored of the ancestors assured, and their spores given precedence over all others had absolutely nothing to do with it. Since we are all part of the Same, such ambition is unknown to us,¡± he snickered.

    ¡°Well, we don¡¯t have ancestors and no ¡®spores¡¯ after ¡®death¡¯,¡± Grace smirked, ¡°For us, dead is dead, and the dead quite often go unremembered.¡±

    ¡°Unverifiable metaphysics notwithstanding,¡± n said, ¡°You just fade to ck, and that¡¯s it.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s just downright unpleasant,¡± GuruG replied with another spurt of ck humor.

    ¡°Right?¡± Graceughed, ¡°And our people were <em>supposed</em> to be the first of those ¡®noble sacrifices¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Those of us living in space, except for Jupiter, were fucked,¡± n added, ¡°And by ¡®fucked¡¯, I mean doomed, yet another definition of that wonderfully versatile word.¡±

    ¡°Earth turned its back on us,¡± Grace smirked, ¡°Mars did the same, even though a lot of us were Martian citizens. Luna? They only had enough for themselves, or so they thought, poor bastards. They retreated deep under the surface, sealing themselves in what was eventually called the Belly of the Shark. There, factions fought and died in the darkness over what turned out to definitely <em>not</em> be enough. It got <em>nasty</em>, even by our rxed standards.¡±

    She unstuck her arm where it had adhered to the bug butt with a sticky Velcro sound.

    ¡°There were the Kuipers, who <em>were</em> self-sufficient,¡± Grace continued, ¡°They had enough, but only for themselves and weren¡¯t about to go hungry over a bunch of ¡®inners¡¯ what they call people from the inner sr system, or what most people call the sr system. Those crazy bastards live in theet and asteroid clouds at the edge of the system. They are about as crazy as you would think they are and twice as tough. Even we didn¡¯t fuck with them. Hell, we couldn¡¯t even <em>reach</em> most of them. No FTL, remember.¡±

    ¡°There was quite literally nowhere to go,¡± n replied, ¡°so, it was either adapt or die for us.¡±

    ¡°And we ¡®adapted¡¯,¡± Graceughed. ¡°They didn¡¯t care if we lived or died? Fine. That¡¯s cool. That¡¯s how you want to y this? We can do that.¡±

    ¡°As Captain Aaron Abebe, the leader of my organization, said during those days,¡± n smiled, ¡°Someone is going to starve today, and it won¡¯t be us. We did what we had to and <em>only</em> what we had to in order to ensure our survival¡­ unlike other groups I could name,¡± he added as Grace stuck out her tongue at him.

    ¡°So did we¡­ kinda,¡± Grace replied with a shrug. ¡°You know what they say, more is more¡­ ANYway,¡± she said, ¡°My people were originally <em>Martian</em>, one of the inhabited worlds in our system, even if it isn¡¯t exactly habitable. They had <em>plenty</em> of food, but they turned their backs on us, said it was ¡®for the greater good¡¯¡­¡±

    She smirked.

    ¡°Funny how that ¡®greater good¡¯ had us left to die while they stuffed their faces.¡±

    ¡°And Earth was no better,¡± n replied. ¡°We initially wanted to return, try to survive somehow, but anyone who tried that route didn¡¯t fare too well at all. Your ship would be mandeered¡¯ by someone iming to represent some government or another. No ship meant no reactor, and, of course, they would take every single thing you had. It was a death sentence.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace said. ¡°At the very start of the disaster, they had the guns, and we didn¡¯t¡­¡±

    She grinned maliciously.

    ¡°That changed pretty quick. We might not have had a goddamn thing out there in the dark, but every ship, or at least every single ship that survived, had a repair shop or at least a robo-fac sitting in a corner somewhere and people who <em>knew</em> how to use it.¡±

    ¡°There isn¡¯t a whole lot of difference between a solenoid and a coil gun,¡± n said, ¡°or a sma cutter and a ster.¡±

    ¡°Spacesuit oxygen tanks work great in pneumatic rifles, too,¡± Grace said, ¡°annnd, my people <em>might</em> have had¡­ um¡­pletely innocent and perfectly legal chemicalboratories that made¡­ candy.¡±

    ¡°I assume you are not talking about confections?¡± GuruG asked with a humorous wiggle of his fleshy bits.

    ¡°We also <em>might</em> have had a few weapons already,¡± Grace grinned, ¡°but it was all homebrew stuff. Getting real arms was not easy pre-Yellowstone. However, a hotwired solenoid threw a spike just fine, and a sma thrower wasn¡¯t that hard to build. It¡¯s how we got our name! We¡¯re the Dragons!¡±

    She sighed.

    ¡°Or I <em>was</em> a Dragon,¡± she said quietly.

    She fell silent.

    ¡°As Grace said,¡± n continued as he squeezed Grace¡¯s hand, ¡°We had a poption of highly skilled people, and we had much more production capacity per capita than the livestock¡­¡±

    ¡°Livestock?¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± n replied, ¡°The other humans, the ones all too willing to sacrifice us for thatmon good that Grace was talking about.¡±

    ¡°<em>Ancestors¡­</em>¡±

    ¡°Even if a group didn¡¯t initially have the knowledge necessary to make arms,¡± n said, ¡°Most ships had metal stock and at least a grinder. Anyone serving on a ship can grind an edge on some t stock. We also had <em>mobility</em>. We could choose our targets, strike, and withdraw very quickly, faster than any government, or remanent of a government could react.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we had to be careful at first,¡± Grace said back to her irrepressible self, ¡°We would pick somece remote and hit it <em>hard</em>, hopefully wiping them out before they could call for help. That was only at first, though. The governments didn¡¯tst very long at all.¡±

    She chuckled darkly.

    ¡°It turns out that even dirties aren¡¯t cool about dying for that greater good while those at the top have full bellies. There were riots, looting¡­ anarchy. And all of that was good for business.¡±

    ¡°Indeed,¡± n nodded as GuruG listened in silent horror. ¡°And with everything falling apart, we were able to obtain a lot more than a few cans of Pasta-O¡¯s. We were able to seize materials, parts, even capital equipment.¡±

    ¡°And guns!¡± Grace eximed.

    ¡°Yes,¡± n smiled. ¡°and guns. As the governments fractured, smaller and smaller ¡®governments¡¯ took their ce. At first, it was regional governments that tried to hold things together. When they couldn¡¯t, it fractured into smaller and smaller groups. Perhaps a city or a town would try to protect its borders and pool resources. Maybe a group of people who were once police or military decided to be little dictators¡­¡±

    ¡°And with every split, they became weaker and weaker,¡± Grace grinned, ¡°And we were getting hungrier and hungrier. It didn¡¯t take long before one of us decided to try to take one of them <em>down</em>.¡±

    ¡°One ship might not be able to pull it off,¡± n said, ¡°but two ships, four ships¡­ a dozen? Now you have scores of increasingly experienced fighters who may very well outnumber a local strongman and his cronies three to one or more.¡±

    ¡°And each time you did it, you got their <em>real</em> guns!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°More guns, better raiders, better raids¡­ <em>more guns</em>¡­ even <em>better</em> raiders¡­ You see how this goes, right?¡±

    ¡°There was also wholesale piracy in space as well,¡± n said, ¡°You either joined a faction, or you fell prey to one. Very few ships were able to go it alone, and most of them were ets¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Comets?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace said, ¡°We didn¡¯t have FTL, so if you elerated fast enough, long enough, it was really hard to catch you. Some people did a long burn, built up some serious speed, and shot themselves on a long etary¡¯ orbit where they swung <em>way</em> out into Kuiper space and then returned yearster. Sometimes they survived. Sometimes they didn¡¯t. There were no good options back then. It was ce your bets and take your chances. Some of thoseet people went really weird, though. But that¡¯s a whole other story.¡±

    She smiled.

    ¡°As things got worse for the dirties, it got better for us, but we were still just a bunch of thugs who fought and killed each other way more often than we took it to the ¡®cattle¡¯.¡±

    She nudged n.

    ¡°And some families still hate each other to this day over it.¡±

    ¡°That they do,¡± n said fondly.

    ¡°What really changed things for us was the arrival of the most evil woman to have ever drawn a breath, the one, the only, bitch queen of the porkies, Jessica motherfucking Morgan!¡± Grace eximed happily. ¡°That monster actually had the strength, and the guns, to take a bunch of murderous cannibals¡­¡±

    ¡°Not <em>all</em> of us were cannibals,¡± n interjected.

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Grace said dismissively, ¡°She took a bunch of <em>mostly</em> cannibals¡­ happy now, nerd?¡±

    ¡°Delighted.¡±

    ¡°Anyway, she took a pack of what we were and created <em>The Confederacy of Sol</em>, and the party really got started!¡±

 Chapter 298: Stankworld 6 The Ballad of Villainy

    Chapter 298: Stankworld 6 The Bad of Viiny

    ¡°Jessica Morgan was this big-time politician in one of the North American countries or another¡­¡± Grace said.

    ¡°The United States of America,¡± n interjected.

    ¡°Whatever. Anyway, she had a lot of pull and a lot of contacts in the military ¡®cause she used to be a soldier or¡­¡±

    ¡°A lieutenant colonel.¡±

    ¡°WhatEVer. Anyhow, she was one of the first to hear that Yellowstone was gonna blow, and she was the one who suppressed the information so the one percent could prepare.¡±

    ¡°The one percent?¡± GuruG asked.

    ¡°The most wealthy and powerful in the system,¡± Grace replied, ¡°It¡¯s actually a LOT less than one percent, but that¡¯s what we call them. They have all the money and power.¡±

    ¡°That sounds¡­¡± GuruG said, choosing his words carefully and diplomatically, ¡°inefficient.¡±

    ¡°And terribly unfair,¡± n shrugged, ¡°However, being part of that ¡®one percent¡¯, both Grace and I benefited from this injustice.¡±

    ¡°Why does everyone else allow this?¡± GuruG asked,pletely mystified.

    ¡°You know,¡± Grace replied, ¡°That¡¯s a very good question. I sure as fuck wouldn¡¯t¡­ But I guess those who won¡¯t already haven¡¯t¡­ and already got theirs. Either that or they found out why the one percent is the one percent.¡±

    ¡°And once they have theirs,¡± n replied, ¡°Then they are part of the one percent they used to hate¡­ They be their new Same, and the cycle continues.¡±

    ¡°Happens every time,¡± Grace snickered. ¡°We have a saying, ¡®Absolute power is fucking awesome!¡¯¡±

    ¡°The actual saying is, ¡®Absolute power corrupts absolutely,¡¯¡± n snickered, ¡°But Grace¡¯s version is probably much more urate¡­ for once¡­ And I do agree. It was nice while itsted.¡±

    GuruG looked at the humans, more than a little mystified. ¡°But how does that even work?¡±

    ¡°The one percent controls the money and the means of production,¡± n replied, ¡°And then they give the masses just enough to keep them satisfied and working. It¡¯s worked for thousands of years. One can even argue that it is what our civilization is based upon.¡±

    The shuttle made a bubbling snorting sound. ¡°I have to agree with our vessel,¡± GuruG said. ¡°That is not only malodorous but rancid, offensive in the extreme.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± Grace snorted, ¡°A fuckingmunist, and just when I was starting to like you.¡±

    ¡°Other systems have been tried,¡± n said, ¡°But they have always failed. Sadly, this is how our Same¡­ or Sames¡­ work. It has gotten much better than in the past, though. What it takes to keep the masses satisfied is significantly more than it once was.¡±

    ¡°And it is easier to be one of the cogs,¡± Grace added. ¡°You just show up and go to work. You don¡¯t have to worry about business decisions or put in the extra effort and take the risks that it takes to run a business¡­¡±

    ¡°And in our species, those risks can be a lot more than financial,¡± n smirked. ¡°When we say that human business is cutthroat, we mean that literally.¡±

    ¡°Also, humans don¡¯t have the same abilities,¡± Grace said, ¡°For your average fuck, working for someone else isn¡¯t the worst thing in the world. We pay our people good and offer all sorts of benefits.¡±

    ¡°Same here,¡± n said, ¡°If someone doesn¡¯t like thepensation they receive, they can go to another employer, essentially creatingpetition between businesses for theirbor and skills.¡±

    ¡°As long as you aren¡¯t in too deep, that is,¡± Grace smirked.

    ¡°In too deep?¡±

    ¡°In our particr Sames,¡± n said, ¡°There is the legitimate side that works within thew, and then there is our real business, which in both of our Sames is highly illegal. If you work as part of our illegal organization, leaving is not an option because of what you know. However, service in those branches of both of our Sames is very lucrative and is the only way to ascend beyond a certain status and obtain the wealth thates with it.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace said, ¡°If you want to be part of that one percent, or even the ten percent, you gotta spill a little blood. It¡¯s just how it is.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s how you demonstrate loyalty and fullymit to our Sames and is the only way you will be trusted to assume a full leadership role, even on the legitimate side of our business, since it serves our true endeavors,¡± n said.

    ¡°I find this all very distressing,¡± GuruG said, ¡°and even more confusing. We do nothing like this. We are all part of the Same, and we all work together to make things good for all of us. There are different roles that have different responsibilities and the authority to properly perform those roles. But whether you are the captain of a station, an attendant of the ancestors, or just clean the floors you are equally valuable and cared for.¡±

    ¡°Weird,¡± Grace said.

    ¡°No more weird than that horrible nonsense you just described,¡± GuruG replied.

    ¡°But how do you get ahead?¡± n asked, ¡°Or are you locked into a caste system.¡±

    ¡°Yes and no,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°There are different species that are part of our same with different abilities. I can do what I can do, and something else can do what it can do. However, within those roles, there is significant opportunity to assume whatever role one wishes based on one¡¯s abilities and the avability of a vacant position. We also do have something very simr to what you call money or credits. There are those who do trade goods and services for these. There are even those whose role primarily involves suchmerce. However, it is secondary to our civilization and used mostly to purchase luxuries, toys, and such things and is not tied directly to our survival or evenfort.¡±

    He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a golden disk that popped open to reveal a jeweled dial protected by a transparent dome. ¡°This chronograph is needlessly luxurious,¡± GuruG said, ¡°It is a necessary piece of equipment for me to perform my functions, but this one is far more¡­ fancy? than it needs to be. I can get exactly what is required for my function provided to me, but I bought this one instead because I just like it. The faceted stones are a source of pleasure, and its handmade mechanical nature appeals. I also like the subtle ticking sound it makes. I paid another who makes such things because it pleases them to do so in addition to their primary role. They use the money people like me provide to purchase the ¡®needless¡¯ tools and supplies they require to indulge in what pleases them.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± n replied. ¡°We would either call thatmunism with a free market or perhaps a form of socialism¡­ I guess?¡±

    ¡°Fuckingmunists,¡± Grace grinned.

    ¡°You find our way objectionable?¡± GuruG asked.

    ¡°Nah,¡± Grace replied, ¡°Just something that never worked for us. You do you. We don¡¯t judge. We¡¯re just here to meet some cool stinkies and make some deals.¡±

    ¡°Well put,¡± n said, ¡°We¡¯re here for business and to satisfy our curiosity, not approve or object to what is clearly a very sessful and stable culture. Once we¡¯ve been around for a couple of million years, we may see fit to judge you.¡±

    GuruG and the shipughed. ¡°I suppose you are right,¡± he said, ¡°And we are not you. We have only one Same, not dozens¡­¡±

    ¡°Hundreds,¡± n said.

    ¡°Thousands,¡± Grace added.

    ¡°That would suck.¡±

    ¡°Tell me about it,¡± Grace snorted.

    ¡°You were telling me about this Jessica Morgan?¡± GuruG asked.

    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± Grace said, ¡°Well, anyway, her first idea was to just hole up and wait everything out. But things kept going from bad to worse. Her supplies started getting low. And we were starting to be a threat to even her. That¡¯s when she started recruiting us, the strongest and most stable of the raider gangs.¡±

    ¡°Stable being a rtive term,¡± n smirked.

    ¡°She even recruited uptight gangs with sticks up their asses who like to pretend they are better than the rest of us,¡± Grace grinned, ¡°Jessica had real weapons, real soldiers, and the supplies and expertise to back them up. She provided weapons and military advisors who gave us real military and technical training, military intelligence, and coordination among the various gangs that really upped our game.¡±

    ¡°Not only did we gain significantly superior equipment,¡± n said, ¡°but the Confederacy meant that we dominated space and no longer had to waste resources fighting each other. That stability was vital and allowed us to start to build our own civilization out of the ashes of what came before.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace said, ¡°Too bad those ashes objected so much. The fuckers just refused to die.¡±

    ¡°Our nominal goal was to secure food and other vital resources,¡± n said, ¡°But the real objective was genocide. It was our goal to eliminate the other remnants of civilization.¡±

    ¡°But why?¡± GuruG asked, horrified.

    ¡°To get rid of thepetition,¡± Grace said. ¡°If we could cleanse or at least fully subdue Earth, we could rebuild unhindered. Once we did that, Luna, Mars, and even Jupiter would fall, one way or the other.¡±

    ¡°Basically,¡± n said, ¡°we wanted there to be only <em>one</em> Same, a true system-wide government and civilization. We wouldn¡¯t get a chance like this again, and the Sames that were springing up from the devastation weren¡¯t exactly conducive to a single, stable civilization.¡±

    ¡°At least by our, and by ¡®our¡¯, I mean Jessica¡¯s definition of the term,¡± Grace smirked.

    ¡°Securing what little remained of the food and the elimination of the dirties¡¯, our word for the terrestrial humans, ability to sustain themselves served all our purposes. We could further ensure our survival, provide for our <em>growing</em> society, and starve out the dirties in one fell swoop.¡±

    n smirked.

    ¡°And the¡­ culinary preferences¡­ of some of our associates only further served to depopte the. It wasn¡¯t long before the dirties themselves were harvested and ughtered like so much livestock.¡±

    <em>¡°By the ancestors¡­¡±</em>

    ¡°Hey, if you wanted a burger, you did what you had to do,¡± Grace shrugged, ¡°Anyway, we had the guns,¡± Grace said, ¡°We had the men. And we had the biggest remnant of Old Earth¡¯s actual military force. In fact, we had arger professional army than any of the nations had before Yellowstone. With Jessica¡¯s support, supplies, and guns, nobody could stop us¡­ Except for Zeus.¡±

    ¡°Zeus?¡±

    ¡°Zeus Industries,¡± n said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°They were the organization, the Same, that held Jovian space, the system¡¯srgest gas giant, and operated a massive industrial¡­ <em>nation</em>¡­ there. Their leader¡­¡±

    ¡°Was a goody-two-shoe <em>bitch</em>,¡± Grace snorted. ¡°He got advance warning because he was one of the one percent. And what did he do? He betrayed <em>his</em> Same and tried to warn the dirties¡­ <em>asshole</em>.¡±

    ¡°If he had only remained true to his Same and joined Jessica Morgan at the beginning,¡± n said, ¡°Things would have gone very differently. The worst of the Sol Wars would never have happened, order would have been restored, and our civilization would have been preserved. We would have been able to prevent the Juon¡¯s annexation of Sol or at least been able to deal with them from a position of strength. And, most importantly, <em>billions</em> of humans wouldn¡¯t have died. Killing the survivors wouldn¡¯t have been necessary, and there would have been a lot more of them. Love her or hate her, Jessica Morgan <em>was</em> the best chance at preserving our former civilization and would have been exactly the leader needed to guide humanity through those days and first contact. Instead, his false morality and narcissism triggered the bloodiest conflict in human history.¡±

    ¡°It would have sucked for us, though,¡± Grace snickered.

    ¡°True,¡± n replied, ¡°We would never have ascended to the power and wealth our families¡­ our former families¡­ enjoy. Then again, we would have never had to do a fraction of what we did and would likely have been able to reintegrate into Jessica Morgan¡¯s civilization.¡±

    ¡°Or at least not gotten the <em>shit</em> beaten out of us,¡± Grace snorted.

    ¡°You were defeated?¡± GuruG asked, surprised. ¡°But you seem to have had all of the advantages.¡±

    ¡°Fucking Zeus,¡± Grace chuckled.

    ¡°It was Zeus that defeated us,¡± n said, ¡°We could never take them, even with our fleet of actual military vessels. In fact, the first attempt cost us most of them. Zeus was stationed around Jupiter for a reason. They mined it for fusion fuel and, more importantly, organicpounds and other gases that exist in small concentrations in most gas giants. To do this they developed something that we¡¯ve yet to see elsewhere, the gas miners. They are immense ships, flying refineries the size of cities that are designed to actually dive deeply into a gas giant and not only survive but remain there indefinitely.¡±

    ¡°The word to describe them is ¡®stupid¡¯,¡± Graceughed. ¡°Pure Terran overkill. Massive thrusters, massive shields, <em>serious</em> armor. They have better specs than a lot of battleships¡­ and Zeus had a fleet of them.¡±

    ¡°Their thrusters were their big weapon, at least at first,¡± n said, ¡°They were designed to maintain position and maneuver in the high gravity and intense storms present in their operating environment. This meant that an uden gas miner¡¯s eleration was the highest of any ship in the system and by a lot. They could move <em>faster</em> and were more responsive than the missiles they carriedter.¡±

    ¡°And with the armor and shields designed for the same bullshit,¡± Grace said, ¡°Those ¡®warships¡¯? They were just bugs on the windshield for one of those monsters. They would just roll over one like it was a juice box if they got too close and their weapons didn¡¯t do shit. Oh, they could rip a chunk out of one, but there were a fuckload of chunks. No gas miner was ever lost. A few got torn up bad enough that they weren¡¯t repaired until after the war, but Zeus didn¡¯t care. They just sent more¡­ and they had more. Jupiter was not happening. You didn¡¯t even want to get <em>close</em> to Jovian space. If you did¡­ <em>crunch</em>.¡±

    ¡°The one thing that kept them from taking the whole system with them was the fact that they were outgunned,¡± n said, ¡°and they didn¡¯t send those gas miners out too far for fear of one of them getting swarmed. We might not have been able to take one out, but if you went for the thrusters, you could make one dead in space, and it would have to be towed by <em>another</em> gas miner to safety, and they didn¡¯t have an infinite supply of spare parts for them and couldn¡¯t get more. They also didn¡¯t want to scatter their fleet. We didn¡¯t have FTL, remember? If they sent their fleet too far away, then we <em>could</em> take the stations.¡±

    ¡°Why were they outgunned?¡± GuruG asked, ¡°With all of that industrial might and ships like those gas miners, what kept them from turning one or two into dreadnaughts? Those would surely have dominated the system.¡±

    ¡°With anarchy came aplete disruption of the supply chains that they needed to make weapons and much more besides,¡± n replied, ¡°What they could make, they could produce in quantities that defy imagination. But what they couldn¡¯t, they had no way to obtain. This means that the high-energy weapons that were in use by the Old Earth militaries, the ones we had, were quite beyond them. They only had what they had for security reasons, and even those were nowhere close to what we were carrying.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why we just bypassed them,¡± Grace said, ¡°Once we took everything else, we would be able to break them.¡±

    ¡°The only other hard target was Mars,¡± n said, ¡°The fourth in our sr system. It isn¡¯t habitable but has a significant and well-protected poption that lives in domes and underneath the surface. However, they were remaining neutral with enough production of food and other resources to sustain themselves indefinitely. They were also untouchable, but they were ruled by the xen, the living embodiment of ¡®the one percent¡¯. They would join whoever won¡­ or take the system themselves if we and Zeus slipped. They had the luxury of being able to wait.¡±

    ¡°The xen are so hot!¡± Grace enthused. ¡°Pity they are so inbred. They like to ¡®keep it in the family¡¯ a bit too much.¡±

    ¡°And they are creepy as hell,¡± n added, ¡°Pretty, but like a statue, something to look at but not touch and certainly not something you want your friends to catch you fucking.¡±

    ¡°I fucked one!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°So pretty¡­ So <em>disappointing</em>,¡± she said as she held out her pinky finger and let it droop.

    ¡°Really?¡± n asked. ¡°Who? When?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­¡±

    ¡°I hate to interrupt,¡± GuruG said, ¡°but there are millions of Same screaming to know what happened next, and it¡¯s starting to stink in here.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± n said, ¡°But this is <em>not</em> over,¡± he said to Grace with a smile, ¡°You must tell me this one. Is it someone I know?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah!¡±

    ¡°Was it Van? You were pretty cozy in the scouts.¡±

    ¡°Nope. He was gay.¡±

    ¡°He was?¡±

    ¡°Yep, and he thought you were <em>cute</em>!¡±

    ¡°Was it a man or a woman?¡± n inquired, just dying to know.

    Grace looked over at GuruG andughed. ¡°Dude is about to pop a mushroom over there.¡±

    ¡°Oh, very well,¡± n sighed, ¡°But you aren¡¯t wiggling out of this one.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean wiggle?¡± Graceughed, ¡°I¡¯m proud of it! Worst sex I ever had!¡±

    ¡°Please!¡± GuruG implored.

    ¡°Sorry, dude,¡± Grace replied, ¡°So that¡¯s how it was for a while. We were raising hell on Terra. Zeus was holed up around Jupiter, eating bugs and jerking off, and Mars was¡­ Mars. Things were looking pretty good for us until Zeus dropped the first of its big bombs.¡±

    ¡°They developed a weapon?¡± GuruG asked excitedly.

    ¡°Worse,¡± n replied, ¡°They developed <em>food</em>.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

 Chapter 299: Trey and Tara in the Morning

    Chapter 299: Trey and Tara in the Morning

    ¡°Good morning, North America!¡± A fetching young woman said as she sat behind her news desk. ¡°I hope you are having a wonderful day so far!¡±

    ¡°Velut Luna!¡± her co-anchor, an elderly man, eximed as he raised his metal fist.

    ¡°In the news today,¡± the woman said with a little smirk, ¡°A demonstration and disy of force by the True Terran National Front in New Pitt has been¡­ disrupted.¡±

    A hologram depicting scattered bodies, limbs, and viscera appeared behind her.

    ¡°The Republic, First Nations, and the Pennsylvania Regional Authority would like to remind all citizens that the use of indirect fire weapons, or any artillery for that matter, is <em>illegal</em> in the greater New Pitt area as well as <em>all</em> municipal zones in the Republic, no matter how urate you may be or how little coteral damage is inflicted.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± the old man said, ¡°What¡¯s wrong with a good old-fashioned drive-by? You kids have no respect for tradition.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Trey,¡± the pretty young womanughed. ¡°It isn¡¯t the Sol Wars anymore. You can¡¯t just pop a cap in someone¡¯s ass because you don¡¯t like their opinions, no matter how annoying.¡±

    Trey rolled his eyes.

    ¡°Still,¡± the woman said, ¡°you do have to admire that mortar work. That hit was <em>clean</em>¡­ Still, you <em>really</em> shouldn¡¯t be firing mortars inside a city.¡±

    She smiled at the camera.

    ¡°The Republic is requesting any information rted to this incident,¡± she smiled. ¡°However, I would like to remind our viewers that snitches get stitches.¡±

    ¡°Well put, Tara,¡± Trey said approvingly, ¡°The only worse than a True Terran or a mad bomber is a fucking rat¡­ However, we are required to inform the entire truth, and this time it just happens to include a request from the Republic for a fine upstanding Terran to rat out someone who was just taking out the trash¡­ Just don¡¯t use a mortar next time.¡±

    ¡°Now Trey,¡± Taraughed, ¡°We can¡¯t <em>condone</em> such <em>terrible</em> acts,¡± she grinned, ¡°It would be <em>wrong</em>.¡±

    ¡°Of course, Tara,¡± Trey chuckled, ¡°We aren¡¯t <em>condoning</em> anything. We are just reporting the news¡­ Holy shit!¡± he eximed as a holo of the incident yed. ¡°Did you see that one guy? What was in that thing?¡±

    ¡°It looks like hyper-x,¡± Tara mused. ¡°Perky!¡± she called out, ¡°What do your eyes see?¡±

    ¡°Got it in one,¡± a synthetic voice chirped as a floating holographic young man said as he appeared, ¡°AI analysis of the wavelength of the light emitted from the st indicates that hyper-x was the filler with a little magnesium added in, a good old fashioned thermobaric m bake. And Trey wasining about not respecting traditions. You know all about m bakes, don¡¯t you, Trey?¡±

    ¡°I love those things!¡± Trey said, ¡°They ripped apart wigglies even better than fascists!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sitting <em>right here</em>!¡± the Juona weatherperson yelled from offscreen to theughter of the crew. ¡°I <em>hated</em> those!¡±

    ¡°You ran into some of those, did you, you old wiggly bitch?¡± Treyughed.

    ¡°Yeah, I did, you fucking <em>traitor</em>!¡± the Juona eximed as the camera switched over to her. ¡°I was with the 5234th Mechanized Infantry back then. Empress, I hated those things...¡±

    The Juona chuckled.

    ¡°Nice to see one of those old things used again¡­ on someone else. Hey, Perky, does it look new, or is it an old one?¡±

    ¡°Hard to tell from the footage¡­ Wait! It <em>is</em> a legacy round!¡± Perky the AI eximed. ¡°It looks like terminal guidance was provided by a very noisy Old Earth thruster, probably from a toy or something. Looks like an OG pulled up the floorboards again.¡±

    ¡°Exins the uracy, too,¡± the Juon mused. ¡°They put in exactly the right spot¡­ This reminds me. I have some vacation days built up, and if you assholes are starting to lob m bakes around, it¡¯s time for me to go on that pilgrimage to the Imperial pce I¡¯ve been meaning to take.¡±

    ¡°Sounds lovely!¡± Tara eximed. ¡°Bring back some souvenirs!¡±

    ¡°Certainly,¡± the Juon weatherperson replied, ¡°Oh, and aside from the asional mortar round, the weather looks great.¡±

    ¡°Wonderful!¡± Tara eximed, ¡°Looks like perfect weather for you True Terrans to gather in one convenient ce a few hundred meters from anything important and exercise your freedom of speech.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Trey snerked, ¡°Don¡¯t let them take away your rights! Get on back out there¡­ Unless you want people to think you¡¯re pussies.¡±

    ¡°The station would like to request that if any ¡®noble¡¯ True Terrans do n on a response to please let us know,¡± Tara said with a pleasant smile, ¡°I have a new culling rifle I need to sight in.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Trey asked. ¡°What did you get?¡±

    ¡°A Diana thirty ¡®aught six.¡±

    ¡°Nice!¡± Trey enthused, ¡°How did you manage to get your hands on one of those?¡±

    ¡°Estate sale, if you can believe it.¡±

    ¡°Sweet!¡± Trey replied approvingly. ¡°The thirty ¡®aught six is one of my favorites.¡±

    ¡°Of course, it would be, you old fuck,¡± the Juona weatherperson said from off-screen. ¡°It¡¯s as obsolete as you are!¡±

    ¡°If you start about the Harbingers again, Vk-Teth, I will rip out your beak and put it on the shelf with all of the other ones.¡±

    ¡°You are cordially invited to try, rebel scum,¡± the Juonaughed. ¡°At least interview that cute little xeno before you finally meet the Empress¡¯s justice.¡±

    ¡°Get a room, you guys,¡± Tara said with a musicalugh as she rose and walked to another part of the set where Neeph fidgeted nervously in front of her charcoal brazier.

    ¡°Something smells <em>good</em>,¡± Trey said as he followed.

    Neeph squeaked nervously.

    ¡°Thanks!¡± she said (also nervously).

    ¡°Neeph here hails from the Miami Free Port area where she is fast making a name for herself and her¡­ What do you call these again?¡±

    ¡°My people call them ixeeeeeaiii,¡± Neeph replied, ¡°But everyone calls them dumplings, which is what they are.¡±

    ¡°Well, they smell heavenly!¡± Tara said.

    ¡°(monch) They taste heavenly, too!¡± Trey said as he chewed happily.

    ¡°(nibble) Oh my God,¡± Tara said as her eyes sparkled with delight. ¡°These are <em>amazing</em>!¡±

    ¡°Thanks!¡± Neeph replied, a bit more sure of herself. ¡°You had a mealworm one, and you had a cockroach special with poppyseed!¡±

    ¡°This was <em>roaches</em>?¡± Tara asked, both impressed and horrified.

    ¡°Lemme try one of those¡­ (monch)¡­ Holy shit!¡± Trey eximed.

    ¡°And you are going to make a few for us?¡± Tara asked, ¡°I¡¯m surprised you would reveal your secret recipe.¡±

    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s no secret,¡± Neeph giggled, ¡°You just put some stuff in some other stuff and put it on the fire! Here! I¡¯ll show you¡­¡±

    ***

    After Neeph¡¯s demonstration. Tara looked indulgently at Trey, who was happily stuffing his face.

    ¡°If you want to try some of Neeph¡¯s dumplings yourself,¡± she said, ¡°Neeph and her food cart can be found at the Miami Free Port just outside a¡­ um¡­ ce called The Drop of Oil.¡±

    ¡°Right next to the coffee shop!¡± Neeph eximed, ¡°Charlotte looks scary, but she¡¯s really nice, and the coffee is good!¡±

    Neeph beamed at the camera.

    ¡°Just look for the giant Sheloran!¡±

    ¡°Sheloran?¡± Trey said from around a mouthful of cockroach dumpling. ¡°Is that (monch) that blue frog thing?¡±

    ¡°Uh, Huh!¡± Neeph said. ¡°I¡¯ve never met her, though. They say she¡¯s real nice!¡±

    ¡°So we¡¯ve seen,¡± Trey grinned.

    ¡°She really is!¡± Neeph insisted, ¡°It¡¯s <em>because</em> she is so nice that all that¡­ stuff happened. They say that she <em>really</em> doesn¡¯t like bullies very much.¡±

    ¡°She sure doesn¡¯t!¡± Taraughed with that musicalugh that made her loved by millions, ¡°But we aren¡¯t here to grill her about Sheloran. We¡¯re here to let <em>her</em> grill some of her delicious dumplings!¡±

    Tara beamed at the camera for a moment before smiling angelically at Neeph.

    ¡°Tell our friends out there where to get these,¡± she smiled. ¡°You say you have a food cart?¡±

    ¡°Oh yes!¡± Neeph replied happily, ¡°It¡¯s green and has flowers and bugs on it and¡­¡±

    Tara smiled happily while Trey shoved dumpling after dumpling into his face, making orgasmic noises.

    That little¡­ caterpir(?)¡­ couldn¡¯t be more photogenic if it tried, and its enthusiasm and happiness when describing its food cart <em>in detail</em> was infectious.

    This was great holovid, and the data scrolling across her vision only confirmed it.

    ¡°So, Neeph,¡± she said with an innocent smile. ¡°You are set up next to the Drop of Oil?¡±

    ¡°Yep! We just call it The Drop, though.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a xeno brothel, right? I bet things get pretty interesting over there.¡±

    ¡°It gets crazy!¡± Neeph eximed as she turned the next batch of dumplings as Trey gazed at them lovingly, the program forgotten. ¡°I used to work there and there was always¡­¡±

    ¡°<em>You</em> worked <em>there</em>?¡± Tara asked, truly shocked (which took some doing). ¡°Were you a¡­ a¡­¡±

    ¡°A prostitute?¡± Neeph said with a wiggle of her feet, ¡°Sort of. I wasn¡¯t very good at it, though. I was getting better but then I started making dumplings and Craxina, she¡¯s the boss, said that I should do that, at least on the side, so I did! Craxina is so smart!¡±

    ¡°Oh you <em>have </em>to have some great stories!¡±

    ¡°Oh, do I!¡± Neeph eximed, ¡°There was this one guy¡­¡±

    Poor Trey almost needed medical intervention a momentter. Swallowing dumplings whileughing your ass off is nearly impossible.

    Tara wasn¡¯t in much better shape, as the entire studio was in stitches. Vk-Teth, the Juona ¡°weather girl,¡± lostplete control of her chromophores and her grip and fell from her stool, a kaleidoscope of colors washing over her body (also caught by the cameraman desperately trying, between guffaws, to capture the chaos).

    As Tara was reluctantly about to go tomercial, Neeph started talking about The Battle of Free Port.

    <em>Keep it rolling!</em> shed across her feed, a message from the producer. <em>The advertisers will understand, or they won¡¯t. Fuck them. I have to hear what happens next before this little gal regains their senses. Also, find out what the HELL she did at that brothel because dammed if any of us can figure it out</em>. And tell Trey to leave at least a few of those dumplings for us! The smell is driving all of us crazy!

    Tara grinned and kept feeding the chaos as Trey kept feeding his face. They were going to go viral!

 Chapter Stankworld 7: The Unlubed "Rod" of Consequences

    Chapter Stankworld 7: The Unlubed "Rod" of Consequences

    The shuttle bug let out a long gurgling fart into the passengerpartment (ironically where farts usually go).

    ¡°Making food was a weapon?¡± GuruG asked incredulously, unintentionally tranting the shuttle bug¡¯s question as well.

    ¡°Worse,¡± n replied. ¡°You gentle and enlightened beings probably aren¡¯t as intrinsically tied to supply and demand as the rest of us. You do know that scarcity is arge factor when the value of something is determined. When that something is amodity that is essential for life, this principle is even more keenly felt. With the development of Jovian rice, apletely synthetic foodstuff, Zeus Industries was once again the richest organization in the sr system¡­ and the most powerful.¡±

    ¡°Powerful?¡±

    ¡°They now had an essentially infinite amount of food. Of course, being the goody-two-shoes bitch that he was,¡± n smirked, ¡°Tak Nakamura started just handing that garbage out to anyone and everyone and had the ships to do so. Overnight, fullyden gas miners with escorts started making regr runs to Terra, Luna, Mars, and the rest of the inner sr system. That food could have been used to establish order and stabilize civilization. Instead, he just started dumping it on all of the thousands of factions warring with each other. This did have the immediate result of establishing some sort of ¡®peace,¡¯ but it was inherently wed.¡±

    ¡°It also had the entire inner sr system kissing his ass,¡± Grace added.

    ¡°Well put,¡± n agreed, ¡°The flow of food from Zeus had the whole of the inner sr system utterly dependent upon him, and the promise of food security even had some of our allies negotiating their defections to his banner.¡±

    ¡°So why didn¡¯t this Jessica Morgan do the same?¡± GuruG asked, ¡°For that matter, why didn¡¯t your Same?¡±

    ¡°We couldn¡¯t,¡± Graceughed, ¡°Think about it. We were the ¡®bad guys.¡¯ We had been kicking the shit out of everyone for years. There was no way they would let us into their buffet.¡±

    ¡°And with the food finally flowing again,¡± n said, ¡°The dynamics of the situation shifted. Our siege of the inner sr system had been broken. Of course, we still had the men and the weapons. Or raids continued, but now they only had the effect of inflicting casualties, not starvation.¡±

    ¡°Your Sames kind of sucked,¡± GuruG said. ¡°You are aware of this, correct?¡±

    ¡°Dude,¡± Graceughed, ¡°You have no idea.¡±

    ¡°The food was power,¡± n said, ¡°And whoever controlled that food source controlled the sr system. We had to act. Our first move was a diplomatic one. Jessica Morgan offered an alliance with Zeus Industries, including a quite reasonable n for governance and reconstruction.¡±

    ¡°And Tak told us to get fucked,¡± Grace snerked.

    ¡°And in about as many words,¡± n chuckled. ¡°He told us, and perhaps urately so, that nobody would ept us and that the best we could hope for was exile among the Kuipers¡­ Considering what happened next, perhaps we should have taken that deal.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡± GuruG (and the entire sr system) asked excitedly.

    ¡°War,¡± n said grimly. ¡°Unconditional war, the greatest one in human history. Until now, Jessica had held back. She wanted to preserve as much of <em>her</em> forces and her supplies as possible. Now, that was no longer an option. We collected the full might of our houses andunched a full-bore attack on the inner sr system with the purpose of wiping out all vulnerable settlements and blockading Zeus. Their gas miners could run the blockade, but that¡¯s where they took most of their losses. We never destroyed one, but we took a decent number of them out of action, enough to cause Zeus to drastically reduce food shipments. In addition, she finally unleashed her actual military forces and the remainder of herbat fleet. The actual Sol Wars had finally begun. And it was <em>ugly</em>. No quarter was given or received. Both sides descended into true savagery.¡±

    ¡°As opposed to everything you have already described?¡± GuruG asked incredulously.

    ¡°Yep,¡± Grace replied, ¡°That was just the opening act for the real show.¡±

    ¡°There were two sides to the fight,¡± n said, ¡°You had thousands of small groups of people rallying behind the banner of Zeus Industries, and you had the Confederacy of Sol, the remaining raider gangs, now quiterge, and Jessica Morgan herself¡­ I guess you could add Mars as a third side, but they did what they always did, hunker down behind their blockade of armed merchantmen and watched us kill each other while they feasted on bugs and fresh produce, the assholes.¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t our favorite people,¡± Grace sneered, ¡°And they are terrible in bed, like <em>really</em> bad.¡±

    ¡°I dislike an unpleasant bedmate as well,¡± GuruG said, ¡°We often live together, and an inconsiderate roommate or even worse, bedmate, can be¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a euphemism for being bad at sex,¡± n said. ¡°Grace is also intentionally ¡®needling¡¯ me since she cannot borate further concerning this at this time.¡±

    ¡°Is this because of jealousy?¡± GuruG asked. ¡°We have seen on the othe that this can be an issue.¡±

    ¡°Not at all,¡± n said, ¡°We were not betrothed at birth, nor were we exclusive for a great deal of our rtionship. I¡¯m just <em>extremely</em> curious concerning the details of this particr ¡®dis-Grace.¡¯ I¡¯d be more than a little put out if she, as we put it, ¡®fucked around¡¯ at this point in our rtionship, though.¡±

    ¡°So, she could have other partners then, but not now?¡±

    ¡°Goddamn right!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°I¡¯ll give n and whatever g he screws a Dragon high colonic if I catch them. You don¡¯t want one of those.¡±

    ¡°I can assure you that you will never <em>catch</em> me, darling,¡± n smirked.

    ¡°Don¡¯t make me unstick myself,¡± Graceughed as she pulled an arm free from the adhesive embrace of the shuttle bug¡¯s colon and swatted him on the leg.

    A rumbling roar shook the chamber for several seconds.

    ¡°That was our final retrograde burn,¡± GrurG said. ¡°We will be entering the atmosphere soon.¡±

    ¡°Lovely,¡± Grace said dubiously.

    ¡°We still do have some time, though,¡± GuruG said hopefully.

    ¡°We¡¯re approaching the end of the story,¡± n said. ¡°War raged for several yearsying waste to millions of people and hundreds of space stations and ships that had somehow managed to survive everything else. However, station by sted station, inch by bloody inch, we were winning. While outnumbered, we still outgunned our enemies and the skill and experience of our warriors outshone theirs by many orders of magnitude.¡±

    ¡°And then everything went to shit,¡± Grace said.

    ¡°How?¡± GuruG asked. ¡°You still had the advantage.¡±

    ¡°Had, dear GuruG,¡± n replied, ¡°The operative word there is had. Zeus was desperate for weapons but as we have said, they lost the supply chains needed to make <em>our</em> weapons. Then someone decided to look back in history to thest global conflict in our people¡¯s history, World War Three.¡±

    ¡°Wait. Do you mean your people have done something like this before?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Grace grinned, ¡°Plenty of times. We hadn¡¯t had a big one for almost a thousand years, but we did have some ugly ones. The ugliest before the Sol Wars was World War Three. Over a billion people bit the big one during that.¡±

    ¡°And that war was fought with much more primitive weapons,¡± n said, ¡°The weapons of that era were little more than metal tubes in which a fast burning propellent, first gunpowder and then nitrocellulose was ignited, and the pressure elerated a dense metal projectile, usually lead, to high velocities.¡±

    ¡°I know these!¡± GuruG said happily. ¡°sh roots! We still use them!¡±

    ¡°Of course, you would,¡± n chuckled.

    ¡°We use them for hunting¡­ and for messing about. We make these geometric patterns on thin membranes and try to hit the center! It¡¯s great fun.¡±

    ¡°They are also great for hunting people!¡± Grace enthused.

    ¡°They¡­ would be¡­¡± GuruG said reluctantly, as if it was something that had never urred to him before.

    ¡°But you use something else for that, right?¡± Grace asked.

    ¡°¡­Yes?¡±

    ¡°Same here,¡± Grace said, ¡°And we were using ¡®something else¡¯. But I bet that it¡¯s a lot easier to make(?) sh roots isn¡¯t it?¡±

    ¡°Significantly so,¡± GuruG said. ¡°We just grow them. And what we fire them out of¡­¡±

    GuruG trailed off.

    ¡°Are simple devices easily made from iron alloys?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Yes. We usually use cupric alloys but yes, you could easily make them from iron.¡±

    ¡°Which is very abundant in any sr system, and as far as the propellent goes, they had an entire gas giant to mine for chemicals,¡± n continued, ¡°Nobody except for primitive hunters, enthusiasts, and historical reenactors used them then, and they mostly preferred even more primitive examples than what was used for warfare at the end of our first gunpowder era. Not knowing exactly what one to use the Terrans just picked a popr one that would be easy to make, a weapon known as the AK-47. They were very simple to make. Any ship had the ability to make them. Hell, you can even make them by hand if you want. And Zeus had¡­ has truly titanic industrial capacity. Once they made the first working prototypes, they were able to make them by the millions and the bullets by the billions. Soon, they were handing them out the same way they were handing out food¡­ and that was the beginning of the end for us. We had better weapons and better warriors, but we didn¡¯t have the means to replenish either. For every one of our soldiers that fell, we lost years of training, maybe even a lifetime of it, and weapons that were truly irreceable. When one of their fighters fell, another hundred took their ce. Every ¡®soft target¡¯ we used to raid suddenly had people all armed with primitive, but very effective weapons. Our numbers fell and theirs increased by the thousands every single day.¡±

    ¡°And that wasn¡¯t the worst part,¡± Grace said. ¡°The ancient rifles were a big hit. So why not look at the rest of the goodies from that era? They started making <em>guns</em> big ones as well as guided missiles more than capable of taking down any ship we had and started putting those motherfuckers on <em>everything</em>.¡±

    ¡°A tactic they use to this very day,¡± n said. ¡°Every one of their ¡®civilian¡¯ merchant fleet can turn into a missile boat within an <em>hour</em>. They¡¯ve used this to very good effect. Attacking anywhere in the Republic, especially Sol, is a death sentence.¡±

    ¡°We had some brilliant military leaders,¡± Grace said, ¡°But they had General Attrition leading them and he is a <em>bitch</em>.¡±

    ¡°The dynamic shifted,¡± n said grimly. ¡°Even though they would lose a hundred fighters to each one of ours, they still would win. If they lost ten fighters to each one of ours, they would call it a tactical triumph. We literally could not win. So, once again, inch by bloody inch, they took the system back. And they weren¡¯t taking prisoners. At first, they would board a ship or a station and take it. After a while, they just used missiles and wiped us out by the thousands, by the hundreds of thousands.¡±

    ¡°And not all of them werebatants,¡± Grace said sourly. ¡°They didn¡¯t care. Then again we didn¡¯t care either, so I guess we had itin¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Even we have to admit this,¡± n said ruefully, ¡°We definitely reaped what we sowed. We would have beenpletely wiped out as a people if it wasn¡¯t for the intervention of the Juon Empire.¡±

    ¡°How did they get involved?¡±

    ¡°There is a very old red dwarf near Sol that we call Bernard¡¯s Star,¡± n said. ¡°It¡¯s old enough to be of scientific interest, and the Juon sent a scientific expedition to it. It was close enough to where the instruments and scanners they brought to study the star were sufficient to detect radio transmissions from Sol. Their first reaction was to not get involved. We were a bit farther out than they wanted to expand and the situation was far too chaotic. There were tentative ns to establish contact once things settled down, but they never did. Ultimately, they decided that if they wanted to establish contact with our species, they had better do so while there was a species left to contact.¡±

    ¡°So they rolled in,¡± Grace said, ¡°With <em>real</em> warships. They also brought ship after ship filled with <em>good</em> food, supplies, consumer goods¡­ you know, the whole beads and nkets thing.¡±

    ¡°Beads and nkets?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you didn¡¯t have colonialism either,¡± Grace replied, ¡°Cheap presents for savages. For a few loads of cheap crap, they were able to basically <em>buy</em> the Terrans. They are kind of whores like that.¡±

    ¡°Now whores we have!¡±

    ¡°You <em>have</em> to get me a video!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°Anyway, the Empire showed up and annexed the system without so much as a single shot being fired. They tried to broker a peace, but when they realized that they couldn¡¯t even get us in the same room without us trying to kill each other they split us up. They sent us into the cold dark of the outer sr system and gave the Terrans all the good spots.¡±

    ¡°Which they had already won,¡± n added.

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Grace huffed. ¡°So that¡¯s how it was for a few decades¡­¡±

    ¡°Thirty-four years.¡±

    ¡°Whatever! Jesus!¡± Grace snapped, ¡°That¡¯s how it was. We were stuck on these big stations that were basically prisons where we got fed scraps and were just left to rot.¡±

    ¡°We were actually treated very¡­¡±

    ¡°Goddamit, n¡­¡± Grace grumbled, ¡°Anyway, we were stuck out there for <em>thirty-four</em> years until the Terrans decided they didn¡¯t want to be in the Empire anymore and rebelled. We knew the second they stopped shooting at the Juon, they woulde for us, so we got the fuck out of there and went to the Federation.¡±

    ¡°And we formed one of the three major poptions of humanity,¡± n said. ¡°Where everything was pretty good until¡­¡±

    A rumbling started to shake the entire shuttle bug.

    ¡°We are starting the re-entry process,¡± GuruG said. ¡°Sonicmunication will soon be impossible. The rest of your story will have to wait.¡±

    ¡°Meh,¡± Grace shrugged, ¡°We¡¯re pretty much done, anyway.¡±

 Chapter Stankworld 8, Freefall

    Chapter Stankworld 8, Freefall

    The shuttle bug started to shudder slightly as it dipped into the upper reaches of the¡¯s atmosphere.

    As it started to feel the delightful sting of the air starting to tear at its skin, it took one final look at the¡¯s surface before withdrawing its eyes and closing their thick protective eyelids.

    As it started to feel the cleansing kiss of the wonderful heat burning away its old, itchy outer shell, it couldn¡¯t help but giggle happily.

    It loved this part.

    ***

    GuruG was correct. Speech was no longer possible as the passenger chamber was filled with a shuddering, roaring sound and a dim red glow.

    This was probably for the best because neither n nor Grace was feeling particrly talkative.

    n sat impassively with his jaw tightly clenched, and Grace just sat there with huge eyes and tried not to flinch with each jolt that rocked the entirely too-thin walls behind her.

    n unstuck one of his arms and ced it reassuringly on her shoulder, causing her to look over and smile hesitantly.

    GuruG just happily sat there as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

    Grace started to nervously sing a cheerful little tune about Valha¡­

    ***

    Foreverter, the roaring subsided a bit.

    ¡°Ah,¡± GuruG said cheerfully. ¡°We are right on¡­ oh.¡±

    ¡°Oh?!?¡± Grace yelped, ¡°What, oh?¡±

    The shuttle bug violently lurched. Causing Grace¡¯s fa?ade of calm to finally break.

    ¡°What the fuck was that?!?¡±

    ¡°Oh, nothing,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°The shuttle bug just had to deploy its airfoils a little early, that¡¯s all. There was a little misunderstanding involving ournding site. It¡¯s not a big deal.¡±

    There was another even more violent lurch, and the craft started to tumble.

    ¡°Aaaa!¡± Grace squealed as she clenched her eyes shut.

    n calmly closed his eyes and silently prayed a little prayer to Azathoth, asking for it to wee their souls should they fall (for real).

    ¡°The bug just lost a wing, that¡¯s all!¡± GuruG eximed. ¡°We¡­¡±

    <em>¡°That¡¯s all?!?¡±</em>

    ¡°It happens,¡± GuruG replied with a shrug of his protuberances. ¡°It had to change course at thest moment, and the increased air resistance was a bit too much for its primary winglets. It says that we are ¡®close enough¡¯ to the right trajectory.¡±

    ¡°Close enough?!?¡±

    ¡°The¡¯s big,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°It¡¯s not like we are going to miss it.¡±

    ¡°Missing it is NOT my concern at the moment!¡± Grace shouted over the noise.

    ¡°Good,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°Because we are guaranteed to reach the surface. Don¡¯t worry.¡±

    ¡°I (urp),¡± n said, ¡°I don¡¯t believe that reaching the surface is our concern. It is the manner of reaching it that has us a little disquieted.¡±

    ¡°We will hit pretty close to where we initially nned.¡±

    ¡°Could you please use a term other than ¡®hit¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Haha!¡± GuruGughed, ¡°Oh, is the centrifugal force from the spin causing you difort?¡±

    ¡°A bit, to be honest,¡± n said as calmly as he could manage, ¡°We are experiencing forces a bit more than we are used to, but we are in no danger¡­ from the spin, that is.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a relief!¡± GuruG replied, ¡°Because there isn¡¯t anything we can do about it now. Don¡¯t worry. When its airspeed drops a bit more, it can deploy the main wings, and we¡¯ll level out.¡±

    ¡°Lovely¡­¡± n said with a raised eyebrow.

    A few minutester, GuruG¡¯s prediction proved correct. There was a lurch followed by a different sort of tumble, and then the craft leveled out.

    ¡°Gotta love this guy!¡± GuruG enthused. ¡°He was able to salvage that without using the emergency chutes. That saves us a lot of time.¡±

    ¡°So, what happened, anyway?¡±

    ¡°An ancestor abandoned cargo ship wasn¡¯t paying attention,¡± GuruG replied, ¡°and it wandered right into our ssh point. Shuttle bug had to do ast-minute course correction, that¡¯s all. We are going to have tond a bit farther out from the pier, but that¡¯s fine.¡±

    ¡°Pier?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s where you tie off,¡± GuruG said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°Don¡¯t your ports have something simr?¡±

    ¡°Our seaports, sure,¡± n replied. ¡°But not our starports.¡±

    GuruG looked at him curiously.

    ¡°You use different ports?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± n asked.

    ¡°No?¡± GuruG replied, a bit confused, ¡°Why would we? Water is level (mostly) by nature. It¡¯s a perfectnding strip¡­ mostly¡­ The shuttle bug is just going to glide onto its surface ande to a halt. We <em>were</em> going to do that in the harbor, but now we¡¯re going to have to wait for a tugfish. Sorry for the dy.¡±

    ¡°A tug¡­ Of course, you would have tugfish,¡± n smirked.

    They glided in silence for a bit, only to jump when an especially violent jolt shook the cabin.

    GuruGughed.

    ¡°The look on your faces!¡± he eximed. ¡°Is that rm?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Grace snarked, ¡°I was just practicing my Kegels.¡±

    ¡°That was a sonic boom,¡± GuruG said calmly. ¡°You are familiar with those.¡±

    ¡°We are,¡± n replied after yet another silent and eldritch prayer, ¡°just not this intimately,¡± triggering another bout ofughter from GuruG.

    ¡°It should be smooth sailing the rest of the way,¡± he said.

    ¡°You just had to fucking say that, didn¡¯t you?¡± Grace replied grimly.

    ***

    GuruG¡¯s prediction once again held true, at least for the moment. After that, the conditions in the cabin returned to some semnce of normalcy.

    Grace fidgeted.

    ¡°Would it kill you to put some windows in this thing?¡± she asked.

    ¡°As a matter of fact, it would,¡± GuruG replied as both he and the shuttle bug let forth a peal ofughter (thank the void for respirators). ¡°We are now gliding toward our final destination. We should be sshing down in¡­ roughly ten of your minutes¡­ more or less.¡±

    ¡°More or less?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Ites down to the shuttle bug,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°Its secondary wings are now fully extended, and it has a fair amount of control of our speed and rate of descent. Ites down to their preferences at this point.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough, I guess.¡±

    n, Grace, and GuruG sat in ufortable silence for a few moments.

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t help but notice you vocalizing during our descent,¡± he said to Grace, desperate to break the silence, ¡°What were you saying?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Grace asked, a bit confused. ¡°Oh! I was just singing. Sometimes I do that when I¡¯m¡­ um¡­ bored.¡±

    ¡°And the descent was particrly ¡®boring¡¯,¡± n smirked.

    ¡°Really, you didn¡¯t seem¡­¡± GuruG replied in confusion, ¡°Oh! Minimizing one¡¯s emotional distress! Very good! I get it! HA!¡±

    Grace just gave GuruG a very human single-digit response.

    GuruG looked at her curiously.

    ¡°It¡¯s a nonverbal gesture that we sometimes use tomunicate,¡± Grace said, ¡°It means to go and fuck yourself.¡±

    GuruG and the shuttle bug both shook withughter.

    ¡°I love it!¡± GuruG howled as he extended one of his fingers in a simr fashion. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to use this!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re wee,¡± Grace smirked.

    ¡°Now that you are less bored,¡± GuruG snickered, ¡°Would you perhaps sing it again? I¡­ we would love to hear it.¡±

    ¡°Sure,¡± Grace replied.

    She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath.

    <em>Ships on vigor of the waves are skimming</em>

    <em>Barren summits to the verdant ins</em>

    <em>Each horizon is a new beginning</em>

    <em>Rise and reign¡­</em>

    GuruG (and everyone else that was eavesdropping) listened with rapt fascination, including the bug who almost overshot his target.

    n just smiled. Grace had such a beautiful voice.

    Once she finished, the ship let out a little fart.

    ¡°And you sang that for <emfort</em>?¡± GuruG asked incredulously, once again identally tranting for the shuttle bug.

    ¡°Yeah?¡± Grace replied, ¡°My mom used to sing that to me when I couldn¡¯t fall asleep.¡±

    ¡°You¡­¡± GuruG said carefully. ¡°You do realize exactly how fucked up your Sames are, right?¡±

    ¡°Yup,¡± Grace grinned. ¡°Never imed otherwise.¡±

    ***

    ¡°We will be hitting the water in three¡­ two¡­¡± GuruG said a few minutester, ¡°¡­ONE!¡±

    There was a sharp deceleration and the unmistakable sound of water as the shuttle bug skipped along the surface like a stone across the pond, yfully catching the air to soar into the air briefly before mming into the water again, even indulging in a barrel roll or two throwing n and Grace back and forth, upwards, and down. The glue-like substance holding them to the chamber¡¯s walls strained, stretched, and even peeled slightly under the intense movement. ¡°Do¡­ Do they <em>always</em>nd like that?¡± Grace asked as she willed her heart rate to get back under control.

    ¡°Only the good ones!¡± GuruG eximed happily as the shuttle bug let out a smug little toot.

    They bobbed quietly in the water for a few minutes while GuruG made small talk.

    ¡°Oh, you are going to love¡­ um¡­ Where we¡¯re going,¡± he enthused. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have a sound word for it. I guess its name trantes roughly to ¡®Where the river reaches the ocean¡¯.¡±

    Heughed.

    ¡°We aren¡¯t terribly imaginative when ites to naming things, I¡¯m afraid¡­ Oh, cool!¡±

    His protuberances wiggled happily.

    ¡°We are in for a <em>treat</em>!¡± he eximed, ¡°A baleen wants to meet you! It is approaching to take us on board!¡±

    ¡°A baleen?¡± n asked.

    ¡°An ancestor freighter!¡± GuruG eximed. ¡°It is the natural end state of the great ships. It has be an ancestor that still sails the seas, carrying freight and rying the will of the ancestors across the waves! It¡¯s quite the honor!¡±

    ¡°We look forward to meeting it,¡± n replied.

    ***

    About fifteen minutester, something bumped the shuttle bug, which pitched forward, raised its butt into the air, and opened it, flooding the interior with bright sunlight.

    ¡°Are you capable of swimming?¡± GuruG asked.

    ¡°We are,¡± n replied, ¡°It is universally taught among my people.¡±

    ¡°Well, that makes this easy, then,¡± GuruG replied cheerfully as he mbered out of the shuttle bug and disappeared with a ssh.

    ¡°Of course,¡± Grace grumbled as she felt a dampness on her back as something dissolved the glue, ¡°a fucking elder race, and we have to swim. Of course.¡±

    ¡°I thought you loved swimming,¡± n smirked as he pulled himself away from the shuttle bug¡¯s colon, the glue pulling away in long gooey strands.

    ¡°In a <em>pool</em>,¡± Grace replied. ¡°That¡¯s the fucking ocean out there! There¡¯s¡­ stuff in it.¡±

    She detached herself from the wall and started crawling towards the gaping opening.

    ¡°They are fucking with us,¡± she grumbled. ¡°They have to be fucking with us again.¡±

    As she reached the opening, she looked around with wide eyes.

    ¡°Woah.¡±

    Floating nearby was a manatee/fish/insect the size of arge rowboat with arge wicker basket strapped to its back in which GuruG was already sitting¡­

    And floating a short distance away was a <em>massive</em> being the size of an ancient cargo ship that appeared to be made of coral wrapped in copper sheet metal green with verdigris. A giant coral tower grew from the rear third of the vessel, and gigantic ¡°trees¡± the size of redwoods grew from the deck, each sporting a cluster of truly massive sails.

    Grace just crouched there, amazed, until a gentle poke to her backside snapped her out of it.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± she muttered, too stunned to be rude, and dove into the waves only for n to emerge and have exactly the same reaction.

    As n finally recovered his senses and dove into the water, Grace reached the ¡°manatee,¡± which obligingly rolled onto its side dipping one side of its basket into the water.

    ¡°Thanks!¡± Grace eximed as she mbered aboard to be joined by n a few momentster.

    The manateeunch then rolled upright, the water draining through the wicker, and it started slowly swimming towards the massive baleen freighter.

    Grace looked back at the shuttle bug and gasped. Its skin was burnt and peeling, falling away revealing battered and bloody blue-green meat underneath. Large membranous wings drooped, broken and torn into the waves, with another shredded wing floating nearby.

    ¡°Is he okay?¡± she asked.

    ¡°What?¡± GuruG asked, looking over at the bug. ¡°Oh, he¡¯s fine¡­ aren¡¯t you?¡± he called out.

    The shuttle bug let out a happy little burble, waved its maneuver jets, and sank beneath the waves.

    ¡°The rest of his old skin is going to slough off, and it will spend a few months swimming around and goofing off and gettingid. After it grows a bit and gets bored, ie wille in close to shore near a port somewhere, its shell will harden, it will wash ashore, and get hauled back into space.¡± GuruG said. ¡°We¡¯ve already requested him, so it¡¯lle back to us¡­ eventually.¡±

    ¡°How long will that take?¡± n asked as they approached the gigantic baleen ship.

    ¡°Who knows,¡± GuruGughed. ¡°It can be months. It can be years. It all depends on what he wants to do. However, that guy just loves to fly. He¡¯ll probably be back soon and only half as big as he should be.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Grace said.

    As they approached the side of the ship, what appeared to be a crane made of wood and thick vines reached over the side and gently scooped up theunch, which wiggled happily as they were lifted to the stone-like coral deck of the massive ship. After they debarked, the crane then took the manateeunch over to one of severalrge pools on the deck and plopped it in.

    Grace cautiously took off her respirator, and her eyes gleamed with delight.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t stink!¡±

    n took off his respirator.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t,¡± he said in surprise.

    ¡°We¡¯re in the open air,¡± GuruGughed. ¡°Even we don¡¯t stink that bad. Come on. Let¡¯s go meet the old man.¡±

    He paused and wiggled his bits in amusement as n and Grace stared up at one of the massive ¡°redwood sails,¡± which was indeed rooted in the deck exactly as a tree would.

    ¡°Do you mean that we actually have something you do not?¡± he said with satisfaction. ¡°We do not need to use thrusters, or power nts, or power at all. Those giant leaves catch the wind and¡­¡±

    ¡°Look at the size of those <em>sails</em>!¡± Grace eximed as she rushed towards it. ¡°They are <em>massive</em>!¡±

    GuruG sighed. They had sail technology. Of course, they did.

 Chapter Stankworld 9: All Aboard!

    Chapter Stankworld 9: All Aboard!

    Grace prodded the stony surface of the deck with her foot.

    ¡°So, all of this is the ancestor dude?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°Everything here is the ancestor in one form or another, even the sail trees. Their cellr matrix has infiltrated all of it, allowing the entire vessel to act as a single cohesive entity.¡±

    ¡°Coooool!¡±

    ¡°Very,¡± GuruG said smugly. ¡°These titans are truly awe-inspiring. This ancestor has been alive for over fifteen hundred of your years.¡±

    ¡°How long will they live?¡±

    ¡°Longer than this form which can be for thousands of years more,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°Eventually, they will tire of this, and they will select a nice spot and sink to the bottom where they will continue to live and grow bearing the knowledge of our people and conveying the will of the ancestors across the deeps¡­ as well as monitoring and regting oceanic chemistry and conditions.¡±

    ¡°Oceanic chemistry?¡± n asked.

    ¡°We <em>were</em> terraformers once,¡± GuruG chuckled, ¡°and we still are. The difference is that we now do it for our own benefit rather than some mysterious gods who fully intended for us to die.¡±

    He wiggled his protuberances in a smirk.

    ¡°While our love for our gods was great, it did have limits.¡±

    ¡°What if they were to return?¡±

    ¡°We would, our hearts filled with reverence and devotion, tell them to dine upon our excrement.¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡± Grace snorted.

    ¡°The ancestors who blindly followed them are long gone,¡± GuruG said, ¡°and the new ones serve the Same and the Same alone.¡±

    ¡°And what if they tried to make you?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Then they had better pray to <em>their</em> gods that they are every bit as powerful as their legend.¡±

    ¡°I take it you grow more than cargo ships, then?¡±

    ¡°Something like that,¡± GuruG smiled. ¡°Come on. The old guy wants to meet you!¡±

    As they approached the massive structure at the aft of the vessel, arge panel slid aside to reveal a wide passageway covered with organic-looking pipes and covered with small scurrying creatures looking like a cross between mushrooms and slime molds.

    ¡°We¡¯re actually going inside of it?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± GuruG said happily. ¡°It¡¯s quite the honor! Come on!¡±

    With a happy little skip, GuruG scurried inside.

    n looked over at Grace with a smile.

    ¡°In for a penny, I suppose,¡± he shrugged as he and Grace followed.

    ***

    ¡°And there¡¯s the stank,¡± Grace chuckled as the panel slid closed behind them.

    ¡°All of this is the ancestor?¡± n asked as they went ever deeper into the massive being.

    ¡°Yes,¡± GuruG replied. ¡°The ancestor surrounds us. Everything you see is them.¡±

    ¡°Even those little guys?¡± Grace asked as she pointed at a strange wiggling thing looking at them from the surface of one of the countless pipes that ran everywhere.

    ¡°Yes, they areprised entirely of ancestor cells. They carry the will of the ancestor throughout the entirety of this vessel as well as nurture it and repair it.¡±

    ¡°Neat!¡±

    A doorway opened in front of them to reveal a rather nice little sitting roomplete with two very ¡°normal¡± chairs and a lounge that perfectly fit GuruG.

    ¡°Did it make those chairs for us?¡± n asked.

    ¡°Do you see any other humans around?¡± GuruGughed as it plopped onto the lounge.

    ¡°Nice of it,¡± Grace said as she eased onto her chair, trying to ignore the number of eyes it had.

    She started.

    ¡°It just grabbed my ass!¡± She eximed.

    ¡°It¡¯s likely just adjusting itself to fit¡­¡± n fell silent as his chair also copped a feel. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s just weird.¡±

    GuruG justughed.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have adaptive furniture? Do you mean that we finally eclipsed you?¡±

    ¡°Oh, we do for some applications,¡± n replied as he shifted a bit ufortably. ¡°It¡¯s just not quite so¡­ enthusiastic about it.¡±

    The room shuddered slightly as a powerful odor wafted past, causing GuruG tough once more.

    ¡°It thinks you¡¯re funny¡­ It¡­¡±

    GuruG fell silent with a gasp as all its protuberances snapped upright. ¡°Of¡­ Of course, my lord!¡± GuruG eximed joyously.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± Grace asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s unbelievable!¡± GuruG eximed ecstatically, ¡°It wishes tomune with you directly! It¡­ It wants to im me! Oh! This is beyond any expectation, any dream! Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!¡±

    ¡°im you?¡± n asked as tendrils started to extend from GuruG¡¯s lounge and wrap around him.

    ¡°It wishes to absorb my functions and my knowledge into itself. I¡¯m going to join the ancestor!¡±

    More tendrils extended and dug into GuruG¡¯s flesh with small moist tearing noises.

    ¡°It¡¯s eating you?!?¡±

    ¡°No. It¡¯s <em>absorbing me</em>!¡± GuruG said with near orgasmic joy. ¡°I shall be eternal! I¡­¡±

    GuruG¡¯s eyes rolled back as he was torn open, revealing his rotting viscera. As n and Grace watched in horror, his entire body was torn into chunks and absorbed into the lounge until only his head and lungs remained, suspended above the bloody lounge by dozens of tendrils.

    Grace quickly hopped out of her chair with a vaguely sticky ¡°pop¡± and backed away in rm.

    ¡°GuruG?¡± n asked dubiously.

    ¡°<em>That name is no longer relevant,¡±</em> GuruG¡¯s disembodied head and lungs replied as his eyes focused on n. ¡°<em>He is with me now</em>.¡±

    ¡°And you are?¡± n asked calmly.

    ¡°<em>My name is also irrelevant, for you now truly speak with the Same.¡±</em>

    ¡°I understand,¡± n replied smoothly, not understanding a goddamn thing.

    ¡°What happened to GuruG?¡± Grace asked with big eyes.

    ¡°His substance, knowledge, and traits have joined mine.¡±

    ¡°And his consciousness?¡±

    <em>¡°That question is also irrelevant. He was the same. He is now the same.¡±</em>

    ¡°Ancestor,¡± GuruG¡¯s head said, ¡°If I may. I believe that our guests are expressing concern about my individuality, separate consciousness, and perhaps even my soul.¡±

    ¡°<em>These concerns are irrelevant. They do not apply to the Same.¡±</em>

    ¡°And these guests are others, not the Same. Others tend to ce a great deal of value in such things.¡±

    GuruG turned to n and Grace.

    ¡°As the ancestor said, I am in the process of being absorbed into its greater whole. My individual consciousness will fade and be part of it. My knowledge and ability will also. However, this is not only consensual but a very joyous moment for me! This is¡­ It¡¯s hard to describe to an other, but this is more fortuitous than I could have ever dreamed. This is¡­ ascension¡­ apotheosis! I am <em>bing</em> the ancestor, and the ancestor is <em>bing</em> me! I am not dying. I am being <em>born</em>.¡±

    ¡°I see¡­¡±

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t!¡± GuruGughed for thest time. ¡°But this is not only what I want, but more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you, my friends, for giving this to me! I bid you farewell as GuruG and bid you greetings as THE SAME!¡±

    <em>¡°Were your questions answered?¡±</em>

    ¡°Not even close!¡± Graceughed. ¡°You are fucking weird, dude!¡±

    <em>¡°You disapprove?¡±</em>

    ¡°It isn¡¯t our ce to approve or disapprove,¡± n replied diplomatically, ¡°You are fundamentally a different form of life than we are. We are visitors to your world and in no position to pass judgment. In fact, it would take years for us even to have a decently informed opinion concerning what just happened. For us, what happened to our guide would be horrific, something straight from a horror film, but our history, practices, and customs seemed to startle GuruG as well. We extend the same open-mindedness that we hope you extend to us.¡±

    <em>¡°Well said. And, yes, your kind is very strange, even horrific, to us as well. But, as you said, you are others, and we are the Same. We eagerly look forward to learning about you both as others in general and as humans in specific. The fact that you are human is what induced me to absorb your guide. Your arrival in this sector has not gone unnoticed. Its timing rtive to greater events in the gxy is most interesting indeed.¡±</em>

    ¡°Greater events?¡±

    <em>¡°What do you know of the th?¡±</em>

    ¡°The who?¡± Grace asked.

    ¡°th¡­ th¡­¡± n mused. ¡°They are a Federation race. I don¡¯t know much about them except that they are supposedly extremely insr, conservative, and very good with nts.¡±

    <em>¡°Very good with nts¡­ (amusement). Yes, they are very good with nts. There is also a th living among you humans by the name of Sheloran. Are you familiar with the First Daughter?¡±</em>

    ¡°No. I am afraid I haven¡¯t had the pleasure.¡±

    <em>¡°Avoid her. Avoid any dealings with any th under any circumstances. Never go to their system. If you see one outside of their home system, run.¡±</em>

    ¡°I thank you for your advice,¡± he replied, ¡°But if you don¡¯t mind me asking¡­¡±

    <em>¡°The Same has survived for millions of years by being prudent. Part of that prudence involves avoiding those little blue malodorous beings like the gue that they are. Of those who know their true nature, only the Tolo view them favorably, and the Tolo are insane.¡± </em>

    ¡°You have contact with the <em>Tolo</em>?¡± n asked with surprise.

    <em>¡°Upon asion. Both the Tolo and we are self-sufficient and therefore do not engage in regr trade. But they do visit us fairly regrly due to their fondness of tourism and their liking of the ¡®unusual.¡¯ We have also engaged in some very beneficial exchanges of knowledge over the many years that we have known each other.¡± </em>

    ¡°You actually got them toe off of some of their tech?¡± Grace asked incredulously.

    <em>¡°They are quite willing, eager even, to share their knowledge if they consider a race to be their equal and even more willing to share when there is knowledge for them to gain in the exchange.¡± </em>

    ¡°Well, huh.¡±

    <em>¡°Their reluctance to universally share what they know is also prudent, and prudence is what ensures a species¡¯s survival.¡±</em>

    ¡°How so?¡± n asked.

    <em>¡°That is a very long topic of conversation that would not be prudent to share at this time</em>

    ¡°Pity,¡± n replied, ¡°I suspect that would be a very interesting conversation indeed.¡±

    <em>¡°You are correct. You would find it incredibly useful¡­¡±</em>

    The ancestor paused, and what was left of their friend drooped lifelessly for a moment.

    <em>¡°¡­There is a way you could obtain this information and a gread teal more, things that would be incredibly useful both to you individually and to your Same.¡±</em>

    ¡°Oh?¡± n asked.

    <em>¡°Remain here with us. You seem most agreeable, at least as individuals.¡±</em>

    ¡°¡­That is a very interesting proposal,¡± n replied cautiously, ¡°But, our <em>current</em> Same is on the vessel in orbit and in another star system, and they desperately need us.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Grace replied, ¡°we kinda like the little guys.¡±

    <em>¡°Who is your current same? Is it not the humans?¡±</em>

    ¡°No,¡± n replied, ¡°In fact, we aren¡¯t wee among our original Sames. Our current Same is the Hunzk Free Traders, and we have¡­ I guess <em>we¡¯ve</em> been absorbed by <em>them</em>. The guys are in a bad way, and they really need us.¡±

    <em>¡°Your dedication to your current same is admirable, surprising, but admirable.¡±</em>

    ¡°We could probably get you guys some humans if you want them,¡± n said. ¡°In fact, we could even get you in touch with the leadership of our original Same.¡±

    <em>¡°Your original Same would be the Forsaken, correct?¡±</em>

    ¡°You seem much more informed than GuruG,¡± n replied.

    <em>¡°It is our task to be informed. Maintaining current knowledge concerning the affairs of the greater gxy is prudent.¡±</em>

    ¡°I see,¡± n smirked. ¡°Yes. The Confederacy of Sol has rebranded itself as the Forsaken for several reasons, and that is the greater Same of which our individual Sames were a part.¡±

    <em>¡°We are currently not interested in establishing a rtionship with the Forsaken, the Republic, the Empire, or the Federation.¡±</em>

    ¡°That would be <em>prudent</em>.¡± Grace snerked.

    <em>¡°That is our assessment as well. We wish to gain additional insights and understanding, not be involved in inconvenient, costly, and potentially hazardous situations that provide us no benefit.¡±</em>

    ¡°No argument here,¡± Grace snorted. ¡°We made the exact same decision.¡±

    <em>¡°Your betrayal of your Sames is perhaps the most appalling thing about you. You betrayed them, yet you have loyalty to your new Same. This is surprising. You are facile enough to understand the advantages of leaving them for us, correct?¡±</em>

    ¡°We¡¯re smart enough to see the potential,¡± n replied. ¡°And I expect that we would get along famously. But there is another issue in y. ¡®Betraying¡¯ our original Sames did them no real harm. Neither of us was so essential that there weren¡¯t a dozen others eagerly waiting to take our ces. Abandoning the Hunzk <em>would</em> hurt them. They truly need us, at least for now. Maybe one day we could leave them without hurting them but not now.¡±

    <em>¡°Is their situation that dire?¡±</em>

    ¡°Their entire species is looking down the barrel of extinction,¡± n said. ¡°As far as we know, they are the sole remaining poption of their entire race, and they are not prepared to survive out here on their own.¡±

    ¡°Poor guys don¡¯t have a clue,¡± Grace said. ¡°Then again, they are just some survivors who managed to get to a ship in time. They just don¡¯t have the skills.¡±

    <em>¡°And that makes a difference?¡±</em>

    ¡°Yep,¡± Grace said. ¡°These guys took us in when we were down and out and gave us a home. Then, when the goddamn Harlequin showed up¡­¡±

    <em>¡°That is the Same that recently arrived and is doing¡­ human things¡­ correct?¡±</em>

    ¡°If by ¡®human things¡¯ you mean industrialized mass murder and cannibalism¡­¡± n started to say.

    ¡°It isn¡¯t <em>cannibalism</em>,¡± Grace huffed. ¡°It¡¯s the same as eating pork¡­ Okay, maybe it¡¯s more like eating monkeys or kelpies¡­¡±

    ¡°<em>Monkeys? Kelpies?¡±</em>

    ¡°Very smart animals,¡± Grace replied. ¡°Monkeys are from our original homeworld and are gically very simr to us with the brains to match, and Kelpies are an aquatic species from Raylesh, our new home, and way too smart and way too nice to be food. I hated having to eat them.¡±

    ¡°Same here,¡± n replied. ¡°One constion to this whole mess is that the kelpies and the rest of Raylesh will likely be spared any future abuses at our hands.¡±

    <em>¡°I am confused. Why did you have to eat them if you did not wish to?¡±</em>

    ¡°Dude,¡± Grace snerked, ¡°my grandparents ate <em>people</em> on the regr. Do you have any idea what would have happened if I cried over my kelpie steak in front of them?¡±

    <em>¡°Actually, I do not.¡±</em>

    ¡°I would have looked <em>weak</em>,¡± Grace said. ¡°And in <em>my</em> old same, you did NOT want to look weak.¡±

    <em>¡°It would have made you less valued?¡±</em>

    ¡°In the old days, it would make you <em>dinner</em>,¡± she snorted. ¡°Eat the kelpie or <em>be</em> the kelpie. These days they wouldn¡¯t kill you, but you wouldn¡¯t ever sit at the ¡®grown-up table¡¯ ever again, and you¡¯d probably not have to worry about any meat after that, either.¡±

    ¡°I would like to say it was different among my same¡­ my old same,¡± n added. ¡°But such squeamishness, no matter how justified, would disqualify you from any leadership role. If you can¡¯t kill a kelpie, how can you be trusted to kill a truly sapient being¡­ which dide up entirely too often.¡±

    <em>¡°Your Sames are very strange and even more disturbing.¡±</em>

    ¡°Hey!¡± Grace interjected, ¡°Our <em>current</em> Same is perfectly lovely and made of kind, gentle, <em>good</em> people. It¡¯s our <em>old</em> Sames that are all fucked up.¡±

    ¡°Well said, dear,¡± n said, ¡°Please do not judge the Hunzk as if they were humans. They are decent, caring, <em>principled</em> people. If anything, they are entirely too good for their own well-being. The gxy out there is not a nice ce dominated by some very not nice people.¡±

    ¡°And their same absorbed exactly the right people and skills for that,¡± Grace smiled wickedly.

    ¡°Hopefully,¡± n said, ¡°we will never have to utilize our entire skillset fully. However, should the need arise, the Hunzk now have capabilities they did not have before. It is because of that we will remain with them. I would be very saddened to find out that they wound up on someone¡¯s dinner te, one way or the other.¡±

    <em>¡°This I understand. You are their sleeping ones.¡±</em>

    ¡°Are they your answer for the less nice nature of the gxy?¡±

    <em>¡°Something like that.¡±</em>

    ¡°I see,¡± n smiled. ¡°Then that is what we are. Right now, the only part of that capability we use is keeping them from getting unfairly taken advantage of in business dealings, a very real problem they faced. Hopefully, that is all that we will do.¡±

    ¡°But we can do a LOT more if we have to,¡± Grace grinned, ¡°I hope it doesn¡¯t happen, though. It will really freak out the Hunzk.¡±

    <em>¡°Their safety is guaranteed while they are in our system, and you will find our traders to be¡­ reasonably honest.¡±</em>

    ¡°Ha!¡± Grace guffawed.

    <em>¡°We do enjoy a good haggle among friends but not to the point that it would alienate future business dealings with an other/same that seems to be quite promising. A small, independent Same with no entanglements would be a Same with whom we would like to deal.¡±</em>

    ¡°Splendid!¡± n enthused. ¡°We are also looking forward to dealing with you. I understand that your needs are perfectly met internally, but anything you <em>want,</em> we can obtain at very reasonable rates.¡±

    <em>¡°There is quite the crowd awaiting you at our destination wishing to discuss that in exhaustive detail. In fact, we had to limit ess to the city. It was bing a bit much¡­ We do have some time before our arrival. Is there anything you would like to discuss while we pass the time?¡±</em>

    ¡°Actually, there is,¡± n replied. ¡°You mentioned the th. I know very little about them, but none of that implies that they are anything more than a very minor race and not a terribly advanced one at that. Why is a race like yours, a true elder race, so concerned about them?¡±

    <em>¡°It is good that we have time because this will take a while¡­¡±</em>

 Chapter Stankworld 10: The Ancestor Spills the Tea

    Chapter Stankworld 10: The Ancestor Spills the Tea

    The dismembered body of GuruG went limp for a moment.

    It looked back up.

    <em>¡°The th¡­ Where to begin¡­¡± </em>it mused. ¡°<em>I suppose we must begin at the beginning. But first, a little ¡®history¡¯ even for us</em>.¡±

    A wrinkled hose extended from the mass that was once GuruG¡¯s seat and plunged into what was left of his throat. Two more tendrils wrapped around his lungs and ripped them free with a sickening squelch.

    ¡°<em>Much better. I found those air dders to be annoying.¡±</em>

    ¡°You get used to them,¡± Grace winced.

    ¡°<em>How inconvenient,¡± </em>the ancestor replied. <em>¡°If you like, we could investigate some body modifications for you.¡±</em>

    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± Grace replied. ¡°Thanks, though.¡±

    ¡°<em>Just let us know if you change your mind. It really isn¡¯t a bother.¡±</em>

    ¡°We will bear that in mind,¡± n said smoothly, ¡°Thank you for the kind offer.¡±

    ¡°<em>GuruG seems to believe that you are NOT going to bear that in mind,¡± </em>the ancestorughed. ¡°<em>Where was I? Oh. Right. ¡®History¡¯¡­¡±</em>

    It paused again as the light faded from GuruG¡¯s eyes, and it drooped lifelessly, for a few moments. Then, it perked back up.

    ¡°<em>Sorry. I had to retrieve some skeins. There is one dominant trait among all sessful elder races. And the definition of sess, at least for us, is the continued survival of the species. That trait is prudence. It is something that we all cling to with near religious, or in some cases truly religious, devotion. Do you know why that is?¡±</em>

    ¡°You mean there¡¯s a <em>reason</em> why all of you elder dudes have sticks up your asses?¡± Grace asked.

    GuruG¡¯s head let forth the strangest screaming noise, causing both n and Grace to leap to their feet and back away.

    ¡°<em>Oh dear. That was supposed to be augh. I suppose I was too enthusiastic. My apologies. I am still learning how tomunicate in your fashion.¡±</em>

    ¡°I guess a new head takes some getting used to,¡± Grace muttered as she tried not to think about it. She <em>liked</em> GuruG.

    ¡°<em>A bit of an oversimplification, but you are essentially correct. This method ofmunication is not natural to the Same.</em>¡±

    ¡°If this is difficult for you,¡± n asked, ¡°then why didn¡¯t you use GuruG as a trantor? It was his purpose, after all.¡±

    ¡°<em>Because some of what we may discuss is not for the unborn¡¯s consciousnesses to receive.</em>¡±

    ¡°If it is so sensitive,¡± n asked, ¡°Then why tell it to us? And what is to keep us from immediately rying it to the ¡®unborn¡¯? I assume that is what you call pre-ancestors like GuruG?¡±

    ¡°<em>Because it may be necessary to do so. Besides, if ites from the mouth of an outsider, it will be suspect and can be denied. For you, it would mean the end of any association with the Same and the loss of all revenue you would gain by dealing with us. Your same would also not receive those profits, profits that would be very valuable to them, especially if their situation is as you represent it. I will, of course, share nothing that would pose a threat to the Same if released to the gxy atrge.</em>¡±

    ¡°Fair enough,¡± n replied. ¡°Shall we proceed with the conversation that is so important that it required the decapitation of a friend of ours?¡±

    ¡°<em>GuruG was your friend? Curious. Your association with him was exceedingly brief.¡±</em>

    ¡°He was likable,¡± n replied with a faint shrug. ¡°I didn¡¯t say he was a good friend or even someone we will miss, but he was favorably viewed. As a suggestion, I rmend not absorbing an other¡¯s trantor right in front of them as amon practice. We are killers and¡­fortable with the prospect. Most won¡¯t be.¡±

    ¡°<em>You are mistaken. GuruG was not killed. His substance and consciousness have been absorbed into me where he continues to live and where his knowledge will live on and serve the whole.¡±</em>

    ¡°The whole you,¡± Grace snarked.

    ¡°Grace,¡± n said firmly, ¡°not now.¡±

    He turned to GuruG¡¯s head.

    ¡°That is none of our affair and we have no opinion concerning it. GuruG did not object, and even if he did, it¡¯s an internal matter and, again, none of our concern. However, other beings will not be so open-minded. I don¡¯t mean to tell your business, though. It was just a suggestion.¡±

    ¡°<em>I shall bear it in mind. However, I also doubt that it will be necessary very often. What we will discuss is not discussed with many.¡±</em>

    ¡°Is it because we are humans?¡±

    ¡°<em>It is because you are <strong>unaligned</strong> humans. Your Same is small and not connected to any of therge otherpowers. In other words, you are <strong>suitable</strong> humans.¡±</em>

    <em>¡°</em>So it does have to do with our race.¡±

    ¡°<em>Yes.¡±</em>

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°<em>We shall get to that shortly, but first, I must convey some history so that what follows makes sense. I left off with the concept of prudence. Do you not think it odd that every single surviving elder race is so consumed with it, why we are all so infuriatingly conservative and stingy with the knowledge and technology that we keep from you?¡±</em>

    ¡°A bit,¡± n replied, ¡°But it is widely held that you are all intent on maintaining the supremacy that said knowledge gives you. We wouldn¡¯t share either.¡±

    <em>¡°That is a part of it, but a very minor part, insignificantpared to the true reason. Are you familiar with the concept of species filters, sponges that one must navigate without bing ensnared and consumed utterly?¡±</em>

    ¡°We are,¡± n replied.

    ¡°We are?¡± Grace asked.

    ¡°Did you cut every ss?¡± n asked her.

    ¡°Only the boring ones.¡±

    ¡°In one of those, this concept was discussed at length,¡± n said.

    ¡°Well?¡± Grace asked, ¡°What are they?¡±

    ¡°Something you can either look up when we are back on the ship or gather from the context of the conversation, not something that I am going to bore our host with.¡±

    He turned to the ancestor.

    ¡°Please. Continue.¡±

    The ancestor attempted anotherugh with limited sess.

    ¡°<em>I can see why the unborn like you so.</em><em>You are so simr to them in mind that it greatly simplifiesmunication. Anyway. Filters¡­ One would think that spacefaring races have passed through all of them. Many races at your level believe that to be the case. However, they are incorrect. Filters remain, including some that still lie ahead of all of us, the elder races included. One of these has never been passed by any species. Even our ¡®gods¡¯ were brought down by it. Some believe that it isn¡¯t passable at all, that it is a hard limit that once crossed, extinction bes certain.¡±</em>

    ¡°That I did not know,¡± n replied.

    ¡°<em>It is something that we do not share unless a race bes advanced enough to where there is a chance they may trigger it.¡±</em>

    ¡°What is this filter?¡±

    <em>¡°The exact nature of it is unknown. It may be one filter, or it may be several such situations. All that is known is the consequences, utter annihtion of the offending race, and yet another gctic dark age. That ¡®dark age¡¯ is why we warn others and are so careful with the technology we share. Whatever happens is not limited to just the species. It gets messy, very messy. Entire swaths of space be rendered lifeless, sometimes forever. Stars disappear from the night sky. Other¡­ disturbing¡­ things have been recorded as well.</em><em>Details are scant because, without fail, the offending species is utterly destroyed along with their records. What remains are third-hand ounts from the species that survive, usually pre-technological ones. They are sometimes all that is left¡­¡±</em>

    The ancestor paused.

    <em>¡°Sometimes this is instant an entire race simply vanishes leaving all of their creations behind¡­ for a time¡­ Other times the fall is slow and bloody. Some races seem to devolve to near animals, like the Y¡¯keen¡­ or abandon their technology utterly and revert to a pre-technological state¡­¡±</em>

    The disembodied head¡¯s face contorted in a gruesome attempt at a smile.

    ¡°¡­<em> like the th.¡±</em>

    ¡°The th?¡±

    <em>¡°They, like us, are a relic of a much older age, one dominated by true elder races much more advanced than any today. They often created entire species the way we create machines, and these crafted races served them as if they were gods¡­ which, in a way, they were. We were also given their technology, or at least some of it so that we could better serve.¡±</em>

    ¡°So you and the th served the same elder race?¡±

    <em>¡°Oh no,¡± </em>the ancestorughed, a bit more sessfully this time, <em>¡°we served different ones who shed frequently over control of this gxy for millennia. The th were their god¡¯s warriors, and we¡­ Hmm¡­ We aren¡¯t truly sure of what we were. Our nature was very different then. Among the Same, there is no consensus as to our true purpose. Nominally, we terraformed, that was our assigned task, to alter a. However, to what purpose is a mystery to us. Our original instructions would have made this world not only uninhabitable to us but to nearly form of life known. Some believe that it wasn¡¯t to prepare the way for colonization but to destroy all life along with ourselves at the end. They believe that we were a weapon. One thing is for certain. One of the first things we did was the global infection of a world with viruses tailored for life created by the th¡¯s gods, including the th themselves.¡±</em>

    ¡°So you were a smart bio-weapon?¡±

    <em>¡°It is unclear,¡±</em> the ancestor said with a bob of GuruG¡¯s head. <em>¡°And we were only sent with orders and only the knowledge needed toplete our tasks. Their greater purpose was not shared. All we knew was to infect and grow and that certain lifeforms were our enemies. Our only orders concerning the th and the others of their kind were to report their presence and attack. If we were going to lose, then unleash radiological doomsday weapons that would turn this world into a toxic radioactive wastnd that would bepletely uninhabitable and unusable for centuries.¡±</em>

    ¡°If that was your goal, then why not do that the moment that the weapons werepleted?¡±

    <em>¡°You would have to ask the gods,¡±</em> the ancestor replied, <em>¡°and they hit the filter hard¡­ or at least we think they did. Theirmandments simply ceased one day. As far as we know, they ceased roughly the same time the th¡¯s gods did. Perhaps only one triggered it. Perhaps they both did. Again, it is unclear.¡±</em>

    ¡°What is your opinion?¡±

    <em>¡°I believe as most of the ancestors do. The question is unanswerable based on our current information. That is our consensus. It is relegated to what roughly trantes as ¡®idle fancy.¡¯ To continue this brief summary of millions of years of history, after the gods fell, the th rose. They were not consumed by what took their master, and using what they ¡®inherited,¡¯ they consumed the Gxy, nearly literally. Somehow, we were missed or intentionally bypassed. We were one of the few things that could confound them, and we were not leaving our system. We did not have FTL travel as one of our gifts. Again, it is unclear.¡±</em>

    The ancestor coughed up a bit of phglem.

    ¡°<em>After centuries of ruling the gxy as ¡®gods¡¯ themselves</em>,¡± the ancestor said, ¡°<em>The th also hit one of these sponges. In their words, they ¡®offended fate¡¯. They had abilities where probability maniption were concerned that were far beyond anyone else. Perhaps they pushed things too far? Whatever they did, they did not share the details, especially with an ancestral foe. They became strange, even stranger than they already were. They systematically and brutally dismantled their empire, wiping out any trace of their and their god¡¯s presence. Entire worlds were turned into ash as they attempted to purge reality itself of their presence. Eventually, they disappeared. For millions of years, we thought them gone just as our gods before.¡±</em>

    ¡°But they weren¡¯t gone,¡± n replied.

    <em>¡°And that discovery caused quite the reaction, I can assure you,¡± </em>the ancestor screeched with one of his disturbing realughs. <em>¡°The phrase, ¡®shit a brick,¡¯ trantes quite well. We awakened the Sleeping Ones and sealed our system off from outsiders for over a century. Of course the Tolo were delighted but as previously stated, they are insane. I hold them in high regard and we feel a debt to them that we cannot repay, but they are insane, all of them.¡±</em>

    n was also beside himself. This was knowledge that to his knowledge no other human knew. And knowledge was one of the most valuablemodities there was.

    ¡°Why do you feel that you owe the Tolo?¡± he asked.

    <em>¡°Because of a gift they have bestowed upon us and other races of our stature,¡±</em> the ancestor replied, <em>¡°The Book of Fuk, perhaps the most valuable document in the entire gxy.¡±</em>

    Grace snerked.

    The ancestor turned to face her.

    <em>¡°What do you find amusing?¡±</em>

    ¡°The greatest book in the gxy is named The Book of Fuk?¡±

    <em>¡°I never considered that. Upon reflection, agreed. It is quite amusing.¡±</em>

    ¡°What is this book?¡± n asked, beyond intrigued.

    <em>¡°It is a list of developments that have led to hitting that final sponge or have a high probability of doing so,¡± the ancestor said, ¡°It is a roadmap for the prudent to avoid that final fate, to stop short. No race that follows its teachings has ever been consumed by¡­ whatever it is. Those who disregard it have always fallen. It is, to borrow human words, the Bible of prudence.¡±</em>

    ¡°Then why not share it with everyone?¡±

    <em>¡°Because immature races, those still developing, the temptation to test it would be overwhelming. And the book contains enough hints that a clever race could use it to advance themselves technologically. Just some of the equations present in that tome could shift the bnce of power in a whole region of space and increase the probability of a sponge being triggered. Tell me, would your race truly follow its teachings or try to¡­ searching¡­ find a loophole?¡±</em>

    ¡°He has us there,¡± Grace smirked.

    <em>¡°While notable, most of your race¡¯s traits are not unique. To return to our tale, the th seemingly have dyed their fate considerably by their brutal and extreme actions. They killed entire worlds and everything on them, but THEY survived. They terraformed their homeworld and created a paradise for their kind. Then, they cast aside the final vestiges of their technology and slid into afortable¡­ Nirvana in a¡­ Garden of Eden¡­ made specifically for them. Then, they purged even themselves, altering their forms and eliminating any knowledge of their past. They know nothing of their true history save a very rare few who protect their ¡®slumber.¡¯ The rest of us enthusiastically support this endeavor. Were the th ever to awaken, truly awaken, from this illusion they have cast over themselves, the gxy would burn. They would be the sponge that all the rest of us would have to survive. If you discount everything else I have said, trust me on that. You do not want the original th, the ¡¯koth, to ever return. Even you humans would be hard pressed to survive. They are what was used to fight US. And they did that quite well. Again, things are unclear to us, but we don¡¯t believe that we were winning at the end.¡±</em>

    The ancestor paused.

    <em>¡°The Tolo say that it would only take one th to revert to restart the madness and death all over again. They know more about them than any other race, perhaps even the th themselves.¡±</em>

    ¡°How do they know so much?¡± n asked.

    A long sigh seemed to emanate from the very walls.

    <em>¡°This next story is¡­ a bit much to take in for anyone, including myself when I first tasted it. I am going to ask you to keep an open mind¡­ The Tolo gave us, and others, another gift, what we consider the second most important document in the gxy, The Final Prophecy of the Heretic¡­¡±</em>

    ***

    ¡°Woah,¡± Grace said some timeter.

    ¡°And you say this has been <em>verified</em>?¡± n asked.

    ¡°<em>Much of it has already transpired and took ce exactly as predicted, including events that we have personally born witness to after receiving it. It exceeds coincidence and chance by so many standard deviations that there is little doubt. It is urate and a testament to exactly what the ancient ¡¯koth were capable of¡­ and what could happen should that be unleashed again. So, you can see why a feral th running around is of such a concern.¡±</em>

    ¡°If she is this¡­ first daughter,¡± n asked, ¡°and she represents so much of a threat, why not simply kill her before she does whatever it is that she is going to do?¡±

    <em>¡°This is why we rarely share these things with developing races. ording to the prophecy, you won¡¯t be able to. If one was to try and fail, she could reawaken the entire race. At the very least, you would probably wind up like everyone else that¡¯s tried thus far. If correct, Sheloran is both a full witch high priestess AND a high warrior. To borrow yet another term from your delightful people, good luck with that. She would literally see youing a week before you got there. Under no circumstances should she be messed with. From what I have heard, the Republic has already discovered that firsthand.¡±</em>

    Grace snerked again.

    ¡°Couldn¡¯t happen to a better bunch of assholes,¡± she snorted.

    <em>¡°You should not be quite so nonchnt about it. One of the things the ¡¯koth were known for was biological weapons. If you think your human-crafted one is bad, what the th could do is many times worse. They wouldn¡¯t target the Republic. They would target your entire species. They¡¯ve done it before, multiple times. If pressed, they will do it again. Their preferred tactic is to craft something that is very virulent but only sterilizes the victim. By the time that the target is even aware they have been attacked, their entire poption is sterile. From what we know, no species has even been able to undo this. This is then followed up with other biological weapons, multiple ones each nearly impossible to cure, all of which then act synergistically, each amplifying the effects of the other. The whole time they will be building their fleets and their forces, devouring everything in their path. This is one of the theories concerning our original role. Any world we inhabited would be near unusable to them. It is likely that we formed a hedge or wall around the realm of our gods.¡±</em>

    ¡°And just when you thought the gxy couldn¡¯t get any shittier,¡± Grace said.

    <em>¡°However, the th just want to be left alone to hide and slumber. We also want that. We can only hope that whenever their fate finally reaches them, that it will not reach us as well.¡± </em>

    ¡°And the prophecy says that the arrival of the true First Daughter would herald this,¡± n said.

    <em>¡°And thus, our extreme interest in Sheloran. If she is a true incarnation, then their time is up¡­ or could be up¡­ A Tolo sage tried exining it to us once, but it was very hard to follow. Basically, the prophecy ends with her as does the th¡¯s slumber¡­ maybe¡­¡±</em>

    ¡°That isn¡¯t terribly clear.¡±

    <em>¡°After you try getting a straight answer out of them concerning this, then you can criticize,¡± </em>the ancestor replied with another screech. <em>¡°The only thing you and the humans need to know is, during this little war of yours, do NOT target the th.¡±</em>

    ¡°We will certainly pass that along,¡± n replied.

    <em>¡°And any information concerning Sheloran or the th you encounter in your travels would be greatly appreciated and greatlypensated for.¡±</em>

    ¡°That shouldn¡¯t be a problem,¡± n replied, ¡°Of course, now that we know how valuable that information is, only information can pay for it.¡±

    <em>¡°You really ARE like us,¡±</em> the ancestor replied approvingly.

 Chapter Humanitys Golden Rule

    Chapter Humanity''s Golden Rule

    "Coals ze and kettle boil..." a Fulth, his thick shell adorned with numerous multicolored and holographic staple-like bars as he peered at a round bottom sk connected to a fractional distition column.

    An oval doorway slid aside as a "proper" Fluth, his shell neatlycquered and bearing the well-disguised ridges of decades of hard use, trundled in.

    "How is that bizarre contraption working?" it asked the... um... "chemist".

    "Like a luby from the fog," the chemist wearing the markings of a rather notorious street gang replied. "By the Fields, I love the Terrans."

    "And those... angr mating surfaces offer a sufficient seal?"

    "With a little dab of grease... or sulfuric acid they..."

    "<em>Sulfuric acid?!?</em>" the proper Fulth gurgled through his five nostriled nosemouth. "Now I know you are having sport with me."

    "I swear by the five rays of the morning," the chemist replied. "The Terrans seal the joints with sulfuric acid at high temperatures. I tried it just to try it and it worked great."

    "Leave it to the Terrans," thecquered Fulth said as he extended his long tail and scratched at his broad, t head. "So, how will it scale?"

    "Oh, this is justb equipment. It is sufficient for small quantities or research... or what I <em>used</em> to do..."

    "(snort) used to..."

    "Hey, with the Humans out of the picture, things are hard for a scuttle out there. That''s where we got all of our precursors for movealong, snot, and tippytap. The market is drying up hard, shoeshine."

    "You got the precursors from them?"

    "You didn''t know?"

    "I wasn''t with drug enforcement," the shiny Fulth replied. "I only know about movealong from university, and once was enough I assure you. I thought I was going to die."

    "Quality was a lot worse before the Belters," the chemist said as he looked at a temperature disy. "Hopefully, these Terran toys will prevent that... or we can line up a new source of caffeine. I do not want to have to go back to how the revered gangsters did it back when your shell was new."

    "Hi guys!" an excited voice called as anothercquered Fulth with the smooth shell of a much younger adult scuttled into the room in a most indecorous fashion. "Ooo! What is <em>that?</em>"

    "Just some basic chemical apparatus," the chemist replied, his beak-like mouth parting slightly in a smirk.

    "What are you doing with it? Making drugs?"

    "Are you paying me to make drugs?" the chemist chuckled. "Actually, I am trying to distill Federation hull paint stripper into its variousponents and then using them to synthesize a fewpletely legitimate products."

    "Why?"

    "Because it is a way to obtain some rather notablepounds cheaply, at a high volume, and most importantly, <em>invisibly</em>," the older shineshell said with a slightly indulgent tone.

    "We can get some very interesting stuff out of that hull wash," the chemist replied, "We do something simr with... um... other things to get pure solvents, acids, and stuff like that under the scanner. It''s the same thing."

    "Neat!"

    "Very," the chemist replied distantly as he made a dissatisfied clicking sound and peeled back the metallic foil surrounding the distition column and examined it unhappily.

    "Problem?" the more senior shineshell asked.

    "Temperature is rising, and our yield is..."

    "Ooo! What is that?" the younger glossy Fulth asked as he gazed at the distition column.

    The chemist let out a long low snort, their version of a sigh.

    "It''s a fractional distition column."

    "I never saw <em>anything</em> like that in school, and I took chemistry!"

    "That''s because it isn''t Fulthan. It''s Terran."

    "<em>It''s Terran? Like the Terrans, Terrans?"</em>

    "There are others?" the older Fulth chuckled, "Fog cloak us."

    "That''s the ones," the chemist replied.

    "Did you get from Sol?" the young shiny asked and then his voice dropped to a whisper, "<em>or the Forsaken?</em>"

    "Neither," the chemist replied. "We made it here. We just got the designs and a very nice recipe for the ss from them."

    "You are inmunication with the (whisper) <em>Terrans</em>?"

    "It is a matter of utmost secrecy," the older Fulth said quietly, "but, yes, we have made contact with them, and they are assisting us."

    "But we''re <em>Federation</em>," the young shineshell replied, his ck eyes gleaming with surprise. "I thought we were enemies."

    "They are enemies of the Federation," the older Fulth said, "But assisting those in need, especially ones chafing under the burden of said enemy is a deeply held maxim of theirs."

    "They have maxims?"

    "Of course, they do. Maxims are what define a people and are the foundation of a stable society. The Terrans have codes and rules that define them, many of them in fact."

    "They do?"

    "Certainly. And one of their most important maxims involves what they call ''underdogs,'' their term for sliptails. Have you not heard of how their people rushed to the Empire''s aid, unbidden and against their own government''s wishes? It is the stuff of legend, like the procession of mes from our own history."

    "Wow!"

    "On their system''s inte, they have detailed records in ordance with this maxim, their thirty-fourth."

    "No way!"

    The chemist started shaking slightly as he mped his beak-like mouth firmly shut.

    "Not only do they have records and files to aid us, they have even gone so far as to have already provided very valuable information on not only this b ss'' but many other things besides. They have gone as far as,pletely unbidden by us, to have pre-assessed our race and have material <em>specifically concerning us</em>."

    "That is amazing!"

    "You have <em>no</em> idea," the older Fulth said smoothly, "See for yourself. ess a terminal and search the Terran web for ''Fulth Rule 34''. You will find a truly astonishing amount of beak-dropping things... I truly could not believe what I beheld."

    "I''ll... I''ll do that right now!"

    "You do that," the old shineshell smiled warmly as if he was smiling at one of his own children.

    With a delighted chirp, the young shineshell scuttled off.

    The chemist burst intoughter.

    "You are going to thirst for all eternity on the fields of sorrow for that."

    "And you shall dine on ash with me," the old shineshell snorted. "You didn''t stop him."

    "You know what?" the chemist said, "I''m finally starting to like your glossy husk."

 Chapter Favors and Family I

    Chapter Favors and Family I

    The Vestoon SDF fleet clustered nervously around their homeworld at highest alert.

    The reason? A Forsaken battle group entered the system moments ago.

    They were NOT prepared for this.

    He had told them, hecking TOLD them that this would happen. He told those Fed cruisers that the attack on the Keevels was a distraction, that the Forsaken would never send such a light force to do anything but exactly what they were doing, acting as a diversion.

    The only inuracy in his prediction was that it wasn''t a second. It was two hours. The Federation cruisers wouldn''t even reach the Keevel by the time that those monsters were done.

    "At least they aren''t here for us," the admiral said to nobody in particr.

    "Admiral?" a lieutenant asked.

    "They aren''t here for us," he said. "They are here for the ry."

    "<em>Goddess</em>..."

    "The Forsaken have just entered hyperspace," another Vestoon cried, "Signature indicates an <em>intrasystem</em> jump."

    "Are all of <em>our</em> people away from the ry?"

    "Yes, Admiral. The evacuation started immediately following your order."

    "Then, as we have been <em>repeatedly</em> informed, this is not a system matter. Have all ships stand ready and prepare to transmit immediately upon their return to norma..."

    "Admiral! They have <em>already</em> jumped in!"

    "Location?"

    "Seventeen hundred meters from the hypespac... Weaponsunch!"

    "Efficient fiends, aren''t they?"

    The Admiral watched impassively as the words <em>signal lost</em> appeared over the icon representing the ry on his screen.

    "The ry has been destroyed, repeat, the beacon has been destroyed! Emission spectroscopy from our recon drones indicates the presence of plutonium, uranium, lithium, and deuterium, among other elements. They used Terran... I guess <em>human</em> thermonuclear devices."

    "Number of devices?" the admiral asked with a tongue flick.

    "Three, Admiral."

    "Goddess, they weren''t messing about, were they? Any survivors? Escape pods?"

    "No, Admiral."

    "Well, that''s tragically convenient. Is the <em>Sunrise</em> ready?"

    "It stands ready at your order, Admiral."

    "Excellent. Let me know the moment their ships depart."

    He smiled.

    "Let''s go for four."

    ***

    Len Darter sat in themand char of the <em>Faithless</em> and smiled.

    "That''s a few billion worth of confetti," he said with a smooth and easy smile. Not a bad day''s work. "All ships confirm jump cords."

    He took a sip of dynacaff and winced. It was vile, but it got the job done. Considering that coffee and tea weren''t going to be priorities anytime soon, he might as well get used to the crap.

    <em>Maybe if I tried it iced</em>...

    "All ships have confirmed their cords, Boss," a cute Pol-Ka woman chirped, her crest fluttering slightly.

    "All ships ready to jump?"

    "Secondary interster drives are hot on all vessels," the Pol-Ka replied.

    "Gotta love these new rigs," Len chuckled, "All ships, prepare to jump in five minutes."

    "Boss?" a burly olive-skinned man with dreadlocks said, "We have an iing message. Somebody wants to talk. It''s not FTL. It''s a tightbeamser."

    "SDF?"

    "Don''t think so."

    "Well, don''t keep us in suspense, Ken. Put them through... and find out where they hell they are."

    An Aat, dressed in well-crafted chainmail and an intricately decorated ck fur and leather coat with silver fittings. Even notable was the finely crafted sword at his hip.

    It looked like <em>steel</em>, not bronze, not just any steel. Len suspected that the ripples and whorls along its length were the real thing, not some cheap knockoff.

    The sword alone was worth <em>thousands...</em> if you could get one at all.

    "Hello there," Len said, quite intrigued, "I am Len, leader of this merry little band. How may I help you?"

    "I Cro," the Aat saidying a paw like hand on his chest. "I no captain. Captain work for me."

    "I see," Len smiled. "So, Cro. What can the Forsaken do for you today?"

    Cro reached into his coat and pulled out a small box. He opened it and Len''s eyebrow raised in surprise.

    In it was an old Sr System Consolidated Identification Card.

    "Great grandfather given favor. I im it. I need thing done."

    "Well, I am more than happy to help ya," Len said. "But you kind of caught us at a rather inconvenient time. By the way, I''m a little surprised you are here."

    "We know youe. We wait."

    "I''m going to want a little more detail, but this isn''t the time," Len replied. "We are a couple minutes away from our jump and I''m not telling you where we''re going. Are you tech savvy enough to use the pirate?"

    "I not smart. I hire smart."

    "Smart," replied and the Aat grinned a feral smile. "I am transmitting a darkweb address. It will help you get in touch with us."

    He looked at the chainmail and the wootz steel.

    "I am sure we would love to chat."

    Len''s sensor operator waved his hand.

    <em>Delk stealth smuggler ship range 26,320 meters. It''s a nice one. Wouldn''t have seen it if they weren''t beaming. We have it passively locked. Say the word and they are smoke.</em> Appeared on the main screen.

    The Aat''s expression darkened.

    "Me want talk ear to ear, no email. No trace."

    "If that''s what you want, I''m sure we can amodate you but unless you want to transfer to my ship and ride with us, that''s the best I can do."

    "Mee aboard." the Aat replied.

    "Your ship is cleared to approach. You don''t have to decloak and I advise against it. This ce is crawling with drones."

    The Aat beamed at him happily and in a much more Aat like fashion.

    "Nice nice!"

    He turned to look at someone off screen.

    "See? I tell you humans nice!"

    He happily turned back to Len.

    "Me right there!"

    As the screen went dead, Len turned to hismunications officer.

    "All ships, jump and await orders. We will remain to take passengers aboard. Consider us potentiallypromised until informed by dispatch."

    As the other ships jumped away, Len''s ship started elerating towards the stealth ship.

    ***

    "Now what''s going on?" the admiral mused as all but one of the invaders jumped away.

    "Admiral!" someone cried, "There''s a second ship!"

    "And you missed it previously?" he chuckled, "How careless... I''m just humor speaking," he hastily added as he saw the Vestoon''s stricken expression. "The fact that you can locate a properly equipped stealth vessel with the garbage we have been allotted is to your credit. How did you find it?"

    "I didn''t," the sensor operator replied proudly, "I detected the ship shaped nothing as it approached the Forsaken vessel... They seem to be docking."

    "Now that is odd," the admiral replied. "On the surface this would be the perfect time to strike. However, the foundation of the matter is that I do not care. This is a Federation concern and, as we have been repeatedly informed, above us. Therefore, that is where it will remain, above us and beyond our reach. I am not losing one of the handful of vessels we were allowed on the Federation''s behalf. We have no quarrel with the Forsaken and am more than content to keep it that way. Send one of the unarmed drones in closer but only one of the unarmed ones."

    "Yes, Admiral."

    "This makes little sense. Why in zes would they dock <em>here</em>? I mean, they know they have plenty of time, but still. This is apletely needless risk."

    "Admiral?"

    "They say speaking to oneself is a sign of insanity," he said, "but only the insane would want my job."

    "Yes, Admiral."

    ***

    Len stepped forward as the airlock opened and Cro walked in.

    His eyebrowed raised once more as he and his scanners got a better look at the strange guest.

    The Aat was wearing leather and fur brigandine <em>over</em> chainmail as well as an additional row of ovepping tes running down his spine and first third of his tail.

    The weight would be impossible even for an Aat... if were metal.

    <em>Armors</em>. The undeyment was a hand tailored and very high-quality miner''s jumpsuitplete with arc sh protection and a non-Newtonian impact gel. That gear wasn''t just modernbat armor. It was <em>better</em>.

    The sword, however, was metal and it was actual, <em>wootz</em>, the real shit.

    Aside from the obvious, however, it was all clearly Aat made.

    This just got more and more interesting.

    "Wee to the <em>Faithless</em>," he said. "I am Len, the owner of this rust bucket."

    "I Cro," the Aat said as he scampered up and extended his paw-hand in a human style handshake.

    More Aats, dressed in much more normal jump suits exited, carrying richly engraved and decorated chests.

    "Is okay if some stay?"

    "We''re a freighter... or we were, anyway," Len replied. "We have plenty of room."

    "Who want stay?" Cro asked.

    "Ckeke. EeE Burrrrr..."

    "We not home," Cro said. "Talk Fed."

    "Okay... Cro..." the Aat replied with some difficulty. "We... all want stay. We... follow Cro. We follow Cro... wherever... Cro is."

    "Nicey nice!" Cro eximed. "You all good Aat!"

    The Aats beamed at him with slightly awestruck happiness.

    "We... get rest stuff!"

    "I help."

    "No Cro... You do star stuff... We... We do... Aat things."

    "Me Aat too!"

    "Human... want talk. You talk... we do easy thing."

    Cro chrred in mock anger and flicked out his tongue to the delight of his people and then turned back to Len.

    He pulled out the ID.

    "Human live long time. Do you know man? Does he live?"

    Len took the ID and his eyes widened.

    "I don''t know him <em>personally</em>," Len replied, but I know for sure that he''s still alive.

    He flipped the card over.

    <em>I owe this Aat big time. Consider him family.</em>

    "Fuck..." Len muttered.

    He returned the ID.

    "You take me to him?" Cro asked.

    "I don''t know if I will be the one to do it," Len replied, "but I <em>assure</em> you that we will get you to him."

    "Happy thanks!"

    Cro turned to check on his fellows who were chittering happily among themselves as crate after crate was off loaded.

    He turned back.

    "We brought presents!" he enthused. "They say that you in space long time, yes?"

    "For a bit."

    Cro scampered in a very undignified fashion to one of the crates and opened it, revealing fresh fruit.

    "You like?" he said as he held up a huge ripe <em>watermelon</em> over his head.

    "I like!" Len eximed. "Where did you get the watermelon?"

    "Aat love watermelon and watermelon has seeds!"

    "One mystery solved," Len smiled, "Two to go. Where did you get that gear?"

    "We made it!"

    "But how?"

    "You give tablet," Cro said. "You did not give Aat tablet," he said a bit usingly, "But Aat got tablet. Aat love tablet. Pictures. Many many pictures."

    "And you went from early bronze age to medieval overnight," Len chuckled. "I bet the birds are <em>pissed</em>."

    "Xx very mad at you,'' Cro grinned. "They say ruined. They say contaminated. We say tough. Endwaring. Xx say they protect."

    Cro paused thoughtfully.

    "Xx good. Xx nice. Endwar not for nice. Endwar not for good. Endware Xx try protect but Xx protect self first. Leave Aat. Nobody protect Aat but Aat."

    "Aat smart," Len replied.

    "Aat dumb but not butt dumb," Cro replied. "Only butt dumb butt not see whate. Endwar may take Aat but we not <em>let</em> endwar take Aat."

    "Smarter than star soft," Len replied.

    "That not hard," Cro replied. "Hey, how many Fed it take to light candle..."

    A short time and a hastily calcted jumpter (still in plenty of time to avoid the Federation) Len and his crew sat with Cro and his people enjoying a feast.

    Fresh fruits, vegetables, <em>meats</em>... It was like a dreame true to the hardened pirates.

    Raising his voice slightly to be heard over the near orgasmic noises his crew was making, Len asked, "Hey, Cro, there is one mystery left?"

    "Yes?" Cro asked as he popped a whole small fish in his mouth.

    "How did you get that ID?"

    "Great great grandfather."

    "And how did he get it?"

    ***

    One hundred years ago, a scruffy grease covered human and a shabby Aat crawled out of the machinery spaces of an even shabbier spaceport.

    "Well, I think that''s done," the human said as he wiped his greasy hands on an equally greasy jump suit, achieving little in the end. "And that little tap I slipped in there will be great for a little off the books powercell charger."

    "You smart!" the Aat said.

    "If I was smart," the human replied, "I wouldn''t be stuck in this goddamned contract... sorry," he added hastily. "I didn''t mean to say..."

    "But we not smart!" the Aatughed. "That why we here... with <em>you,</em> Gil."

    "Ha!" Gilughed. "You''re all right, bro."

    "But my name Vro, not Bro."

    Gilughed and carefully pped the Aat''s back. (Didn''t want to knock him over again.)

    "Bro is a human word," he chuckled, "It means brother."

    "You call me brother?!?"

    "Why not? Ever since we got suck in this goddamned ce, you guys have been looking out for us, showing us the ropes, the good spots, how to... I don''t know... do all of this bullshit."

    "We all in same ce so we help."

    "Exactly," Gil replied. "just like..."

    His voice trailed off and he seemed to transform, making Vro''s fur bristle as he felt a chill that had nothing to do with temperature. Where his friend and fellow contractborer once stood, there was something else...

    ...something scary.

    "Get out of here, Vro. Now!" Gil hissed as other humans started stepping from the shadows.

    His friend drew a knife as the other humans did the same.

    Vro ran.

    ***

    <em>At least Vro got away</em> Gil thought as he crawled towards an ess hatch leaving a trail of blood behind him.

    <em>That''s what they say about a knife fight. The loser dies on the spot. The winner dies in the ambnce... Too bad there''s no ambnce this time.</em>

    His consciousness started to fade as he started to feel cold, very cold.

    <em>Not... Not a good sign...</em>

    Gil shrugged and stopped trying to crawl.

    He smiled and closed his eyes.

    <em>At least it''s finally over</em>...

    ***

    Pain.

    More than a little surprised, Gil regained consciousness. Keeping his eyes closed he carefully listened to the sounds around him.

    <em>Aats</em>

    He opened his eyes.

    "Awake!" a young Aat woman yelled. "He live!"

    "Hree?" he asked the young Aat, "What... How?"

    "Vro not run away all the way," Hree replied proudly. "He hide. After..."

    She looked distressed.

    "After you... um... Well! Vro locked door and stopped blood best could. Then he brought here..."

    She looked away.

    "Sorry about arm. We have no star stuff. Vro had to stop blood."

    Gil looked over to see most of his left arm missing.

    "Well, shit."

    "Fuck!" a blessedly familiar woman''s voice shouted. "You didn''t die. Guess you''re back in charge."

    "Sorry to disappoint you," Gil weakly smirked.

    "The star rats did a pretty good job of patching you up..."

    "They are called <em>Aats</em>, V. Aats. Not rat. Got it?"

    "Well the <em>Aats</em> did a pretty job with glue and spit..."

    "And let me guess, a tourniquet?"

    "Yep. Your arm was already dead by the time they got us."

    "We sorry!"

    "Don''t be," V said. "You saved his life with that thing, Lord knows why."

    "He called us brother!" Hree snapped. "We family. We take care family"

    "Not sure if you want it," V replied, "but we do as well."

    V looked down at Gil.

    "And then we used thest of our meds to finish the job."

    "Did you eat my arm?"

    "Of course."

    "Did you save me any?"

    "Maybe enough for a sandwich."

    "Greedy fucks."

    "Heh."

    V''s expression darkened.

    "They didn''t just hit you. We lost Tamara, Jack... and his <em>kids</em>..."

    Gil made a quiet little noise that made Hree back away in fear.

    "What are we gonna do... <em>Boss</em>?" V asked in a way that said she wasn''t asking.

    "We just wanted to be left alone..." Gil hissed, "They want to revive the past? Fine. It''s <em>revived</em>. Get the others."

    His eyes glowed with malice.

    "We''re back in business," he smiled, "And the first order of business is a <empany barbecue</em>."

    "Yes, Boss!"

    ***

    "Traitor!" a Vulxeen Naval Captain shouted at the image of the Vestoon admiral. "You just let them destroy the ry without resistance! Traitor! Traitor and coward!"

    "As opposed to letting them destroy the ry after losing half of my fleet?" the admiral replied. "There is no way my corvettes and single destroyer had a hope in hell against those Forsaken gunships. My best ship probably couldn''t even pierce their shields. Forgive me for not throwing away my fellows."

    "I will have your head for this!"

    "I invite you to try, <em>greypig</em>," the admiral replied using the <em>human</em> slur.

    "What did you call me?!?"

    "I called you a grey pig," the admiral replied. "I have no idea what a pig is, but it must be the most loathsome of creatures... or horribly insulted by theparison."

    The Vulxeen screamed and cursed incoherently as the Vestoon admiral smiled at him pleasantly.

    "I will have your job, your career!" the captain screeched.

    "Captain," the admiral said pleasantly, "I will take this moment to remind you that while I am SDF, my rank is recognized by the Federation. You will respect that."

    The Vulxeen fell silent, nearly exploding with rage.

    "It is most unusual for this to be done at our ranks, but you will also stand at attention when you speak to a superior officer."

    The Vulxeen rose, shivering with hate.

    "There. Now before I have <em>you</em> court-martialed for insubordination," the Vestoon chuckled, "My tactical and strategic decisions are not for you to question. Just as Federation concerns are above us, <em>my</em> decisions involving <em>my</em> fleet are above <em>you</em>. As a courtesy, I did deploy drones and did obtain some very useful information. I am willing to give you a briefing if you wish before I ry the information to your superiors. Do you wish to receive a briefing?"

    "...Yes."

    The admiral just smiled and looked at him expectantly.

    "...Yes... <em>sir</em>..."

    "Ensign, if you would," the admiral said as the screen switched to a slender and muscr Vestoon female.

    "Today, at 14:37 Federation Standard Time, eight Forsaken gunships led by the <em>Faithless</em> entered the system. After a fifteen-minute dy, they jumped to close proximity to Federation Hyperspace Ry 112 and opened fire..."

    She paused and smiled slightly.

    "<em>Four</em> thermonuclear detonations were detected shortly thereafter..."

 Chapter Favors and Family II

    Chapter Favors and Family II

    Sitting in a ratty office chair in a rather cramped ¡°office¡± with exposed piping and lit by hastily strung work lights deep within an equally cramped and ratty ship, Gil Mallory reviewed report after report.

    He stretched and rubbed his eyes.

    Since when did murder and piracy require so much paperwork?

    <em>Price of ¡®sess,¡¯</em> he mused. Over the long decades, his little crew had grown and transformed from a gang of thugs and cannibals into a vast crimework that then grew to the point that the line between legitimate and criminal was blurred to the point of meaninglessness.

    Business was business no matter what side of the line you were on.

    And now they were right back where they started, murderous pirates¡­

    He nced at the spreadsheet of ships, crews, supplies, and arms and smirked.

    ¡­just on a much, muchrger scale. While never one of the ¡°big boys¡± like the Angels, the Wraith, or even those Harlequin freaks, Mallory¡¯s Raiders, or ¡°Mallory Diversified Enterprises¡±, as they called themselves these days, were a quite respected organization that nobody willingly crossed.

    As they say, they didn¡¯t have a lot of guns, but they had very, very good aim.

    ¡°Don¡¯t we, old friend,¡± he chuckled at the ornately carved and gilt skull sitting on his desk, giving it a little pat.

    There was a knock and the door opened, revealing an old woman whose beauty only seemed to improve with each decade.

    ¡°V,¡± he said as he checked her out for what must have been the millionth time.

    ¡°Get yourself a proper office, Boss,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m sick of walking all the way down here every time somethinges up.¡±

    ¡°Use the square feet for something more important,¡± Gil replied, ¡°All I need is a desk and I don¡¯t even really need that.¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°Besides, the long walk keeps yourzy asses out of my hair unless it¡¯s worth the walk. Is it?¡±

    V offered him a tablet.

    ¡°The thirty-first century just called.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Read for yourself,¡± V replied. ¡°Besides, you wouldn¡¯t believe me.¡±

    ***

    Elsewhere in the battered old ¡°gship¡± of Mallory Diversified, a richly dressed Aat and hispanions gleefully stuffed their faces from a tter of thick ship¡¯s biscuts.

    ¡°Is good!¡± one of them chittered, his whiskers twitching with delight.

    ¡°They are!¡± Cro replied cheerfully. ¡°Get fat.¡±

    ¡°Very fat!¡± another of his cadre agreed.

    Their escort smiled indulgently as she ate a <em>fresh fruit</em> from the Aat¡¯s homeworld. She had never seen basic ships rations, even the ¡°nice¡± ones they gave guests, consumed with such gusto.

    She idly wondered how many they could trade more for the khug that she was in the process of enjoying. It tasted like a spicy apple!

    A chirp issued from hermunicator.

    ¡°Mister Mallory will see you now, Cro,¡± she said with a crisp professional tone.

    The Aat looked up at her sharply.

    ¡°I noe to see Mister Mallory,¡± Cro said, ¡°Ie to see <em>Gil</em>.¡±

    ¡°Mister Mallory is Gil,¡± she replied, ¡°It is the same person.¡±

    ¡°They no have same name!¡± Cro said. ¡°Me no dumb butt. Take me to <em>Gil</em>,¡± he said firmly trying not to sound angry.

    ¡°The Aat only have one name,¡± Gil said as he entered the room, ¡°Two names are for notch ears who ruined their first one,¡± he chuckled, ¡°or star softs offering yet more fuckery.¡±

    He looked at the rations and the fruit.

    ¡°You traded hardtack for fruit? Our first guests here and you serve them fuckery?¡±

    ¡°They <em>wanted</em> the maggot loaf, Sir,¡± their escort replied with just a touch of fear in her voice, ¡°I had half a cracker in my pocket and they sniffed it out!¡±

    ¡°Is really good!¡± Cro said happily.

    ¡°Well, have as much as you want, then,¡± Gil replied, ¡°We have plenty of it,¡± he added with a faint smile as he was filled with quiet joy at the thought. <em>Plenty of it</em> resounded through his very soul.

    ¡°Thank you. Much happy!¡± Cro replied enthusiastically as he offered his paw in a handshake. ¡°I Cro.¡±

    ¡°A pleasure Cro,¡± Gil replied as he looked at him carefully. ¡°You have Vro¡¯s nose.¡±

    Cro looked at him curiously.

    ¡°Me no have nose. We not human. No keep parts.¡±

    Gilughed with genuine delight. Void, he missed the little guys.

    Pity they would have nothing to do with humans after they returned to crime. Smart little fuckers.

    ¡°I here for Gil,¡± Cro said as he pulled out the box, ¡°He owe favor. I need favor back.¡±

    Cro opened the box revealing the ID.

    ¡°And he is happy to repay it,¡± Gil replied as he raised his metal arm. ¡°I¡¯m Gil. Please, let¡¯s go to my office and talk.¡±

    ***

    ¡°So Vro <em>did</em> manage to get Hree after all!¡± Gilughed, ¡°Do you know he would sniff the air as she walked by? He had it bad.¡±

    Gil¡¯s eyes looked nowhere as he reminisced.

    ¡°Did he have a good life?¡± he asked.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Cro eximed. ¡°He and Hree make many credits. They go home. Buy big farm. Have many kids. All kids Star Aat. All do better. Their kids do more better. Some kids be Star Aat. Other kids send their kids to school. Show smarts. Marry well. I be king man.¡±

    Gil nodded with satisfaction.

    ¡°Vro and Hree were both smart, even for Aat¡¯s,¡± he replied. Tough little guys, too.

    ***

    ¡°We no want gun,¡± Vro said firmly as Gil held an improvised but very effective coil gun with his remaining hand.

    ¡°But the kers know you are our friends, and this is about to get bloody. They aren¡¯t not for you to fight with, but to <em>defend</em> with. We are hitting back tonight¡­ <em>hard</em>. Tomorrow there won¡¯t be a single ker on the entire station, and you won¡¯t need them anymore.¡±

    ¡°No. We lock door. We hide.¡±

    ¡°Yes, do that. But if that doesn¡¯t work, you¡¯ll need the guns.¡±

    V set a box on a nearby table.

    ¡°You can throw them out the airlock tomorrow morning if you want,¡± Gil said, ¡°But until then, <em>please</em>.¡±

    Vro let out a quiet snort.

    ¡°How you use these?¡± he asked with a resigned voice. ¡°This fucked.¡±

    ¡°That it is.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Gil!¡± a portly pangolin like xeno wearing surprisingly human like clothes including apany knit polo shirt said as Gil entered his office. ¡°How are you feeling? I called corporate and they have authorized a prosthetic. We¡¯d hate to lose you.¡±

    ¡°Fine considering everything,¡± Gil replied. ¡°Garth, we need to talk.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°You may want to reconsider our contract.¡±

    ¡°Really.¡±

    ¡°We can¡¯t let this stand, Garth. They will keeping.¡±

    ¡°Also handled,¡± Garth replied. ¡°We¡¯re transferring all of you to another location.¡±

    ¡°And they will just find us there. No. It ends today.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± the Garth said as the scales protruded slightly on his forearms creating hard serrated ridges. ¡°The hard fist, then?¡±

    ¡°Yep. And as our holder, you will be liable.¡±

    Garth reached into his desk, pulled out a slugthrower, and slid it over to Gil.

    ¡°We thought this might happen,¡± Garth replied. ¡°Your contracts are terminated, with prejudice, immediately. You are cklisted not only with us, but across the board. You will never get another one ever again¡­ at least with anyone you want to work for¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ I know you wanted¡­ Well. Sometimes you don¡¯t get what you want, right?¡±

    Gil took the slugthrower and put it under his shirt.

    ¡°We¡¯re used to it.¡±

    The panglo opened its jaw slightly revealing wicked fangs.

    ¡°Just so you know, I gave all of maintenance the day off. I hope you don¡¯t betray my trust, use the ess code one two three four five six, and use the robo to do anything¡­ or make anything¡­ regrettable.¡±

    ¡°Oh, we won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Good. I would have to fire you if you did.¡±

    ¡°Perish the thought,¡± Gil smiled.

    ¡°I always wondered if the rumors were true,¡± Garth chuckled. ¡°I guess I will see.¡±

    ¡°That you will, Garth. That you will.¡±

    ***

    ¡°We have to leave, Vro,¡± Gil said the following morning. ¡°We ¡®negotiated¡¯ safe passage out of the system. After what went downst night, the Police and SDF don¡¯t want to mix it up with us if they don¡¯t have to.¡±

    Vro scrunched his face into a grimace as his nostrils twitched. The unmistakable smell of roasting meat still lingered throughout this entire part of the station.

    ¡°Me thought you good. You not good. You bad. You <em>worst</em>.¡±

    Gil sighed sadly.

    ¡°We wanted to be good, Vro. But the universe has a part for all of us in its little y. Not everyone can be the fucking Easter Bunny.¡±

    ¡°Me not know what you said.¡±

    ¡°It means that we wanted to be good but we were bad, Vro, very bad. That bad won¡¯t let us be good ever again. So, we¡¯re bad now.¡±

    Gil¡¯s eyes hardened, holding back the tears.

    ¡°I wish we could still be friends, Vro.¡±

    ¡°Me too.¡±

    Gil pulled out an old ID.

    ¡°I also hope you never need to use this, but I owe you. We owe you. Maybe one day, and again I really hope that day is never, you will need that favor back.¡±

    Vro just looked at him.

    ¡°Please, Vro. If not for you, then for your n.¡±

    ¡°I take favor, Gil. You be good but you can¡¯t be good. You fight foreverwar now. You win.¡±

    ¡°We will or we¡¯ll die trying,¡± Gil smirked.

    Vroughed.

    ¡°You could be Aat. You notch ear but you Aat just the same.¡±

    ¡°Thank you. That means a lot.¡±

    ¡°Be well, Gil.¡±

    ¡°You too.¡±

    ***

    Gil shook himself as he returned to the future.

    Cro looked at him curiously, cocking his head.

    ¡°Sorry, just thinking about your ancestor. Now,¡± Gil said with a smile, ¡°now what can I do for you?¡±

    ¡°King lost son,¡± Cro said. ¡°Not heir but son.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m terribly sorry to hear that,¡± Gil said calmly. ¡°Who did it?¡±

    ¡°I not say dead,¡± Cro replied, ¡°I said <em>lost</em>. We no find him. We need find him. Queen cry. I stop cry.¡±

    ¡°I assume this isn¡¯t on your world. I know sometimes Aat nobles be Star Aats to keep an eye on things. Was that the case?¡±

    ¡°Yes. He on Zaran when you do stupid. We no can go there. You can. You find for me.¡±

    Cro slid the ID across the desk.

    Gil slid it back.

    ¡°That isn¡¯t a favor, Cro,¡± Gil said, ¡°That is a request. Vro was a friend of mine and this is something that friends do. It¡¯s not a ¡®favor¡¯. The gxy is going to shit, and you just might need thatter. Save it for then.¡±

    He leaned back in his dinky office chair.

    ¡°Now tell me more about this Aat.¡±

    ***

    (Musical intro ys as the station logo is disyed.)

    ¡°Good afternoon Zaran! This is Lissa Kay bringing you thetest in music, videos, weather, and <em>news</em>! It¡¯s another beautiful day in Hell, people and we¡¯re here to make that day just a little more sunny! Thetest from the Forsaken Propaganda Division is the usual crap. The enemy is taking losses across the boards, the rys are still down, the void consumes the foe, yadda, yadda h h h. However, independent news, word from the pirate, and streamers show that they aren¡¯t <empletely </em>full of garbage. Another ry is confirmed to be hit, sorry Vostoon, but at least none of your guys bit it. Kudos to their SDF for evacuating the area the second the Feds were lured out of the system¡­ Y¡¯know, you would think those morons would figure it out but as they say, ¡°Thank God that they are so flipping stupid.¡±

    In local news two cadres of Penitent each with their own inquisitor have arrived on our fair. I know¡­ I know¡­ Those guys don¡¯t have the best reputation but since they changed their colors, they have done a <em>lot</em> of good on Raylesh and they have no problem operating in the hot zones. They have been sent by Mizz Naughty Pants herself to ¡®help maintain order in afflicted areas¡¯ and they are <em>very</em> good at doing that. You wannabe gangsters who think you rule the roost over there better calm your asses down and stop hassling the relief workers. There are plenty of supplies to go around and we don¡¯t need your ¡®help¡¯ in distributing them. Word of warning, the Penitent don¡¯t y and they areing for <em>you</em>. They are walking tanks and have a real stiffness for ¡®heretics¡¯ like you guys. y nice or find out if they are right about the afterlife or not.

    The SDF is recruiting again. Thetest shipments from on high mean that they can add another five thousand to their ranks. If you are healthy and interested, please contact the local recruiter for more info. If you want to join the Forsaken, you already know where you can go,¡± she added impishly.

    She sighed. Why couldn¡¯t things go back the way they were? Why did the universe <em>insist</em> on messing with them?

    It just wasn¡¯t fair.

    She brightened back up. Universe or not, she had a job, a very important one. Keeping the sun shining was more important than ever.

    ¡°The Unified Religious Association is issuing a call for assistance again. The Feds on the reservation could use any used clothing, electronics, or household goods that you guys can spare. Don¡¯t throw it in the recycling bin. Give your garbage to the Feds. Lord knows they can use it. And yes, your used clothing is useful. They toss it in the recycler and can turn it into new clothes for whatever species needs new underoos. C¡¯mon, guys, they are people, too. Most of them are decent enough, especially the civvies who won¡¯t turn in their passports. Don¡¯t hate on them. They just want to go home.¡±

    She paused and shed a genuine smile at the camera.

    ¡°And in actual really important news, Jaho, if you are out there, please contact the station. Your momma is looking for you. She says if you make here down here, you won¡¯t like it.

    Now kick back and rx. In honor of Jaho¡¯s mother, we are starting the show with the old favorite, ¡®Momma¡¯s Coming Back¡¯¡­¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°One day guys, things will be truly sunny again. Until then¡­ Well¡­ Until then trust in God, keep that powder dry, and those requestsing!¡±

 Chapter Stankworld: Alan and Grace Make a Movie

    Chapter Stankworld: n and Grace Make a Movie

    ¡°Captain dude!¡± Grace eximed at the very confused-looking worm regarding her with suspicion over a biostic LED screen. ¡°These smelly fucks are amazing!¡±

    ¡°Are you¡­ Have you consumed a <em>substance</em>?¡± Captain Vexp asked with concern.

    ¡°Wha?¡± Grace asked. ¡°Just had a few drinks, that¡¯s all!¡±

    Sheughed.

    ¡°These guys can¡¯t <em>believe</em> that we can consume ethanol! They keep wanting to watch us do it!¡±

    ¡°And we would be remiss if we didn¡¯t indulge our gracious hosts,¡± n added with a hazy smile.

    ¡°It¡¯s good shit, too!¡± Grace eximed. ¡°It even tastes good¡­ kinda¡­ I mean, I¡¯ve had worse.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s due to the trace contaminants,¡± n said, ¡°Their ethanol and deionized water are pure, but it picks up a little this and that from basic handling. The effect would be negligible except for the potency of said contaminants.¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°While it can easily be far too much of a good thing, the slight traces thepound picks up make for a very intriguing product. I honestly think that ¡®stank juice,¡¯ as my lovely wife has dubbed it, would be <em>very</em> marketable to our species, marketable enough to justify a dedicated run once we get the ship up to being able to do long hauls.¡±

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Grace said, ¡°These smelly assholes are going to make us <em>so</em> much money! You won¡¯t believe the deals we are cutting down here! They are practically giving shit away!¡±

    ¡°That is wonderful!¡± the captain replied. ¡°We are certainly overdue for some luck.¡±

    ¡°Luck doesn¡¯t evene close!¡± Grace eximed, nearly shouting, ¡°We are talking to heavy equipment manufacturers and their shipyards now! Fuck! You aren¡¯t even gonna¡­ gonna¡­¡±

    She bleared unsteadily at the captain.

    ¡°We are going to be able to get the impervium situation resolved across the entire vessel, and that is just the start,¡± n said as Grace flopped backwards on the spongy, slightly greasy ¡°couch¡± with a little ¡°woo¡±.

    ¡°And just how much is that going to cost?¡± the captain asked.

    ¡°Nothing!¡± Grace crowed from her drunken sprawl. ¡°Less than nothing¡­ We¡­ (giggle)¡­ We <em>sold it to them! </em>They are paying us!!!¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°It seems that they like impervium and are not only willing to scrape every pipe and tube clean but even pay us for the privilege,¡± n smiled.

    ¡°<em>Why?</em>¡±

    ¡°They use a very simr material as aponent in rather advancedposites that are quite beyond our ability to manufacture,¡± n replied. ¡°They are more than happy to take all of it off of our hands and rece it with something much more suitable for our purposes.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯sh probably gunna stank,¡± Grace slurred, ¡°But it¡¯sh better than it blowin¡¯ up. ¡®Sides, we don¡¯ go in those spaces anyhow. It¡¯sh a win! Pure profit, baby!¡±

    ¡°It will require letting Freekegg crews on board,¡± n said, ¡°but you get used to their smell¡­ eventually¡­ I hardly even notice anymore.¡±

    ¡°We can discuss the specifics once you return and¡­ um¡­ recover.¡±

    ¡°All we have to do is cordon off the essways and turn up the venttion,¡± n replied. ¡°Most of the time, they will be in areas that will not be essible to the crew, especially during the abatement procedure. It will not be difficult.¡±

    ¡°I look forward to discussing the specifics with you once sober.¡±

    ¡°Oh, we will be plenty sober when wee back!¡± Grace eximed, ¡°¡­probably¡­ This is <em>really</em> good shit.¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t in the process of returning?¡± the captain asked with a little concern.

    ¡°Nah,¡± Grace slurred, ¡°Not fer a couple of days¡­ probably¡­ Too many deals to cut. Too many Freeks to meet.¡±

    ¡°We did not discuss this, any of this,¡± the captain said helplessly.

    ¡°We are discussing it now,¡± n replied smoothly. ¡°The potential gains here are too important to ignore or even dy. Not only is there <em>significant</em> potential for financial gain, but we can also secure some major ship repairs, even possible upgrades. We can¡¯t let this opportunity slip, Captain.¡±

    ¡°You should have still at least discussed this with me before proceeding.¡±

    ¡°As I said,¡± n said with a dangerous gleam in his eye, ¡°we are discussing it now.¡±

    ¡°But¡­¡±

    ¡°Captain,¡± n said with surprising sobriety. ¡°Are you serious about the survival of your species?¡±

    <em>¡°Of course!¡±</em> he spluttered.

    ¡°Then stopining and let professional survivors do their fucking job. We¡¯ll be in touch.¡±

    n moved to terminate the transmission.

    ¡°Wait!¡± the captain kettle whistled.

    The line went dead.

    ¡°I honestly have no idea how they¡¯ve managed to survive this long,¡± n sighed as he flooped next to Grace, who gave him a quick cuddle.

    ¡°Well, they are good at hiding under rocks, you know, being worms and all,¡± Grace chuckled as she reached for a nearby bottle. ¡°And they aren¡¯t <em>actually</em> stupid¡­ just <em>weird</em>.¡±

    There was a knock on the stic/wood door.

    A Freekegg poked their head in, protuberances all a wiggle.

    ¡°We got the bed and cameras ready!¡± it eximed, literally shaking with excitement.

    ¡°Fine,¡± n sighed as he rose.

    ¡°Woo!¡± Grace shouted as she sprung clumsily to her feet. ¡°Let¡¯s fucking do this!¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you talked me into this,¡± he grumbled.

    ¡°I hope it goes viral!¡± Grace enthused. ¡°Can you imagine the look on your mom¡¯s <em>face</em>? HA!¡±

    ¡°If you want this to work at all, keep my mom¡¯s face out of it.¡±

    ¡°Oh God,¡± Grace howled as they stepped onto a well-lit alien soundstage, ¡°Can you imagine her <em>actually</em>¡­¡±

    ¡°Please stop. I¡¯m begging you.¡±

    ¡°You won¡¯t be begging me to stop in a minute,¡± Grace winked as she started taking off her shirt.

    ***

    A decent number of light years away, a certain Bzkorran trade mistress walked into her assistant¡¯s office.

    ¡°Harza,¡± she said, ¡°Do you have the¡­¡±

    Harza yelped as she quickly shoved her naked front foot under her desk and looked up at her boss, aghast.

    ¡°Again?¡± she smirked as she looked at a holo of n extending his naked foot provocatively. ¡°You are going lose your mane.

    ¡°<em>I was just moisturizing!¡± </em>Harza eximed defensively.

    ¡°Sure you were,¡± the trade mistress smirked, her ears fluttering with amusement.

    She nced down at her assistant¡¯s tablet, which contained a rather spicy email in progress.

    ¡°You realize that n is married, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°I know!¡± Harza snapped as she angrily flipped her tablet over.

    ¡°And he¡¯s not Bzkorran¡­¡±

    ¡°I know! By the void! Why do you always have to be such a damp <em>sock</em>?¡±

    The trade mistress smiled gently, curling her wide, fleshy bill.

    ¡°I¡¯m just concerned about you, that¡¯s all,¡± she said. ¡°A little fun is one thing, but your fascination with that human is bing unhealthy. I hate to tread on your toes, but you do realize that they were just¡­ using what the creators gave them¡­ to their advantage, correct? Such ¡®lubricants¡¯ to deals are far from unknown¡­ though most outsource the enticement.¡±

    ¡°It isn¡¯t like that!¡± Harza eximed. ¡°n¡¯s nice! He¡¯s smart, and he¡¯s funny and¡­ and¡­¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°And he likes me¡­¡±

    The trade mistress sighed. Harza was a wonderful young woman with so many good qualities¡­

    ¡­it was a pity that looks weren¡¯t part of those.

    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m sure he does,¡± she said diplomatically. ¡°I happen to like the humans, especially his mate.¡±

    She parted her flexible billsciviously.

    ¡°I like her a great deal, and what she can do not only with her feet but her <em>hands</em>¡­ bliss!¡±

    Her expression turned a little stern.

    ¡°<em>However</em>, one must never forget the realities of the situation. They are a <em>mated pair</em> and not Bzkorran as well. It will never be anything more than it is, a little fun in the foot tub. The screwing we are trying to deal each other isn¡¯t the screwing that you¡­¡±

    ¡°<em>It isn¡¯t like that!!!¡±</em> her assistant hissed.

    ¡°Oh, dear¡­¡± the trade mistress said, ¡°you have actual feelings for this human?¡±

    ¡°How could I not?¡± Harza wailed. ¡°He¡¯s so¡­ so¡­¡±

    ¡°Human?¡±

    ¡°<em>Wonderful</em>!¡± Harza wailed. ¡°He actually writes me back, and he¡¯s nice to me, and we <em>talk</em>, actually <em>talk</em> to each other! And¡­ And¡­ I know he¡¯s not Bzkorran! That¡¯s why¡­ That¡¯s why¡­¡±

    She seemed to dete a little.

    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡­ why it could¡­ I mean¡­ I <em>know</em> I am not appealing, but n doesn¡¯t see my funny bill and my weird feet. He sees <em>me</em>. And don¡¯t tell me it¡¯s just because of trade because we aren¡¯t trading! He¡­¡±

    The trade mistress walked over to her assistant and gentlyid a hand on her shoulder.

    ¡°Are you familiar with the human ¡®trade organization¡¯ <em>The Confederacy of Sol</em>?¡±

    ¡°You mean like those Harley Quinn?¡±

    ¡°Harlequin,¡± the trade mistress corrected, ¡°and the very same. I took the liberty of making a few inquiries concerning our two ¡®hapless ves¡¯ and¡­¡±

    Both of theirmunicators beeped.

    <em>Hey guys! It¡¯s Grace! You¡¯ll never guess where we are, the motherfucking Freekegg homeworld! </em>

    <em>Boy, are we going to have some deals for YOU! </em>

    <em>While you are waiting for that attachment, I sent you ANOTHER one that I think you will find almost as enticing. We even added a few moves just for YOU! </em>

    <em>Attachment: Sex Tape! </em>

    A few momentster, both Bzkorrans stared at their screens with huge eyes.

    ¡°Um¡­ I¡­¡± the trade mistress stammered, ¡°I gotta go moisturize¡­¡±

    After the trade mistress sprinted out of her office, Harza looked at her screen and sighed.

    <em>It could work¡­ really work!!!</em>

    ***

    ¡°Hahahaha!!!¡± Morgan Analytica howled, causing Jessica to jump and spill her tea. ¡°Boss, you aren¡¯t going to <em>believe</em> this!¡±

    ¡°Probably not,¡± Jessica sighed as she looked up from pages of minutiae. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°There is something <em>burning up</em> the Bzkorran tradework¡­ HA!¡±

    ¡°I assume you are going to show me?¡±

    ¡°Depends. Do you want to watch it by yourself or with Gordon?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s <em>that</em> freaky?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah¡­¡±

    A few minutester Jessica closed the video yer.

    ¡°The Bzkorrans are the ones with that feet thing, right?¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    Laughing, she shook her head and summoned Terrence.

    ¡°Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Terrence, I¡¯m going to need a pedicure.¡±

    ¡°A pedicure, Ma¡¯am?¡±

    ¡°Would you like for me to exin?¡± she asked impishly.

    ¡°¡­No¡­ Ma¡¯am¡­¡±

    ¡°Smart man.¡±

    ¡°I will engage the services of the appropriate professional at once,¡± Terrence said as he left the room.

    ***

    Jacqueline Gardo, n¡¯s mother, lounged at her desk on her very well-appointed supertanker in deep space.

    She raised an eyebrow at an iing message.

    It was from that asshole Drekker Wyrm, that <em>whore¡¯s</em> father.

    She clicked the teleconference invite with cold disdain.

    ¡°What do you want,¡± she seethed at the grinning bearded and mustached man absolutely beaming at her.

    ¡°You know, I always wondered what my little hellion saw in that uptight little prick of yours¡­¡±

    His grin grew.

    ¡°Now I know. Now <em>everyone</em><em>knows</em>.¡±

    ¡°What are you babbling about this time?¡± she replied icily, ¡°Did you misread your recipe book again?¡±

    ¡°What did you feed that boy?¡± he snorted. ¡°And can I get a prescription?¡±

    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±

    ¡°You haven¡¯t seen?!?¡± heughed, ¡°Well, allow me.¡±

    A video file appeared in secure quarantine.

    ¡°My lovely wife sends her regards,¡± he said, ¡°and if the father is anything like the son, her admiration and heartfelt envy!¡±

    With augh, the transmission ended.

    Momentster, an agonized, enraged scream echoed down the halls of her stately vessel¡­

    ¡­temporarily drowning out the snickers that were already starting to spread.

 Chapter All Fair When Love War

    Chapter All Fair When Love War

    ¡°Good morning,¡± Colonel Xx¡¯vkk said to a room full of very anxious Federation officers who assembled in one of the many human-style Quonset huts thatprised the prisoner-of-war camp where he and every other member of the Federation Armed Forces in the Zaran system now lived¡­

    ¡­well¡­ the lucky ones, anyhow.

    The overwhelming majority of the prisoners were under hismand when the hammer fell, and once faced with the situation that followed, he did what any reasonablemanding officer would¡­

    Surrender.

    Fortunately for him, while the humans were every bit as horrific as they always were, Zaran was NOT a human system. It may hold the secondrgest human poption in the Federation, but it was the <em>Pol-Ka</em> home system¡­

    And those guys are actually pretty decent when you get down to it.

    He was still not sure why they weren¡¯t all massacred. That¡¯s what happened on Raylesh, the porkie ¡°homeworld¡± (actually a long-term lease). There were no survivors there.

    If half of what he heard was true¡­

    Rumor has it that a big reason why he and his people were allowed to live was because the Zaran SDF <em>insisted</em>, like with guns insisted¡­

    Of course, you know what the humans say about no good deed going unpunished?

    He was not looking forward to today¡¯s briefing¡­ or the day that followed, actually.

    ¡°Please be seated,¡± he said as the room rose. ¡°We have a lot to cover. Firstly, the rumors are true. The Rots have been detected in our camp. While the human-specific gue does not directly threaten our safety, the entire camp is now considered ¡®contaminated¡¯ and as of now, they are not risking decontamination of affected areas¡­¡±

    He sighed as his skin turned a rueful lime green. ¡°That means nothing to us, but it means <em>everything</em> to the guards and other staff. They are all now ssified as contaminated as well. This means that they <em>cannot</em> leave the contaminated zones for the foreseeable future. Basically, our guards are now prisoners just like we are¡­ Except they are armed¡­ and just a little annoyed¡­¡±

    He tried to deepen his hue to a more mellow, earthy green.

    ¡°Now the SDF has been nothing but professional and has treated us very, very well, and while I have no <em>reasonable</em> suspicion that will change¡­ still¡­ Put the word out for everyone to be on their best behavior. If I was in their position and found out that I was stuck in the hot zones for the duration, my patience may very well be¡­ impacted.¡±

    The door opened, and the colonel smiled at the group of Aats who wheeled in some service cartsden with various beverages as well as a ¡°continental breakfast¡±.

    He wasn¡¯t sure which human (or Pol-Ka) continent ate their morning meal in this fashion, but if he ever managed to leave this prison, he was going to find that magical ce and never leave.

    Were croissants originally Terran? He had no idea. Monster or not, humans had the <em>best</em> breakfast pastries. You would think that a little wad of carbohydrate and fats couldn¡¯t possibly make up for the Hell those fiends unleashed on a regr basis¡­

    But have you ever <em>tried</em> a croissant? They¡¯re <em>amazing</em>.

    ¡°And that extends to all staff,¡± he said as he smiled at Jaho. ¡°We are terribly sorry you guys have been swept up in this.¡±

    ¡°Why you sorry?¡± Jahoughed. ¡°You stay. You noe and go. Rots <em>brought</em> here by someone whoe and go. That¡¯s who they mad at. Not you. That¡¯s who they <em>look for</em>. Not you. I no want be guy when they figure out who mess up.¡±

    Jaho started setting up a table with thermal carafes, pitchers, and a pile of goodies.

    ¡°Besides, if <em>we</em> have to stay then <em>they</em> have to pay.¡±

    ¡°Is it significant?¡± the colonel asked.

    Jaho just shrugged¡­ and grinned.

    ¡°That good?¡± the colonelughed.

    ¡°Is good,¡± Jaho replied as he rubbed his paws as if he were a roon rinsing off a treat. ¡°Is very good.¡±

    ¡°Is good for <em>you</em>.¡± another Aat grumbled. ¡°Mezy. No like doubles.¡±

    ¡°You no have pretty wife with baby in her,¡± an older Aat woman snorted as she artfully arranged a tter of pastries and breakfast biscuits in a way that was both visually appealing AND prevented any unpleasant cross-contamination. (There were a lot of different species to consider.) ¡°You no like double, talk Jaho. Bet he want double. Bet he want all the double.¡±

    ¡°That just till baby,¡± thezy (for an Aat) Aat chuckled, ¡°Then Jaho ghost. Dig burrow. We no see again. <em>Then</em> I get nothing but double. When Jaho <em>and</em> Ree dig burrow, we all get nothing but double.¡±

    ¡°Me fine with that,¡± the older Aat shrugged. ¡°This myst contract¡­ I go home after this.¡±

    She paused to examine the breakfast spread.

    ¡°Of course, no know when after is¡­¡±

    She looked at the other Aat wickedly.

    ¡°¡­could be <em>years¡­</em>¡±

    ¡°Why you so <em>mean</em>?¡± thezy Aat (for an Aat) whined.

    ¡°Because it pass time,¡± the older Aat snickered. ¡°And we time, lots time. Might as well make that time hours.¡±

    ¡°Listen to Hsara, Geko,¡± the colonel chuckled, ¡°You get overtime. I don¡¯t. It¡¯s like they say back home, scrape algae while it¡¯s raining. Spoiler: It¡¯s always raining back home. It¡¯s part of why I left. Well, that and the algae.¡±

    The colonel smiled and turned back to his officers.

    ¡°So, expect the guards to be less than happy for a bit¡­¡±

    Jaho loitered a little as he attended to their beverages and snacks. One of the nice things about being a ¡°stupid Aat¡± is that you were often overlooked, even by people who were nice.

    Jaho wasn¡¯tining. While not officially a spy, he was noble-born and had a responsibility to his¡­

    Hismunicator vibrated in his pocket.

    He smiled. It was a ¡°text message¡± from Ree.

    <em>Phone! Get Jaho! Tell him that hee now! Now Now Now! You hear me, phone? They talking about him on radio! Lissa says that he need to call his MOTHER!!! Lissa say sheing if he not call! Phone! Get message to Jaho right now!... Did you send word message? Okay! Thanks!</em>

    He stopped smiling.

    <em>Shit.</em>

    ***

    Jaho and Ree stood ufortably in front of a wall-sized holographic disy in the POW camp¡¯smunication center, facing a group of very well-dressed but equally ufortable looking Aats that were ring at them from light years away.

    ¡°I no believe you!¡± a regally dressed Aat woman hissed. ¡°First you run off to be Star Aat, then you get in war¡­¡±

    ¡°War not my fault!¡± Jaho blurted.

    ¡°But you get in war!¡± the woman used.

    ¡°I no get in war! I caught in war!¡±

    ¡°Same same!¡± the queen snapped.

    ¡°Not same, Mom!¡± Jaho hissed back. ¡°I no war. I no shoot. I no stab. I no kill. I help prisoner in camp! Work, Mom. Just work. Look after Feds. Look after our people like supposed to!¡±

    ¡°No!¡± his mother yelled jumping up and down as the king quietly smirked beside her. ¡°You no supposed to! You supposed be <em>here! </em>Not supposed be there at all! You dumb butt dumb¡­ DUMB BUTT!!!¡±

    ¡°I NO DUMB BUTT!¡± Jaho yelled back.

    ¡°You so dumb you no know you dumb!¡± his mother shouted. ¡°You¡­¡±

    She fell quiet as the king let forth a quiet chuckle.

    ¡°I have question,¡± he smiled. ¡°I see two Aat when I only call one. Hello there,¡± he said, smiling at Ree. ¡°Who you?¡±

    ¡°I Ree,¡± she said as she tried to do a courtly bow, stumbling forward as she did so.

    ¡°Hello, Ree,¡± the king said with a wolfish grin, ¡°I King Lojo. Nice meeting. Sunny meeting, but why you with dumb butt of son?¡±

    ¡°He no dumb butt!¡± Ree eximed, ¡°Jaho smart and brave and¡­¡±

    Jaho put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, cutting her off.

    ¡°This Ree,¡± Jaho said as he puffed out his chest defiantly, ¡°my im-mate and mother of my¡­¡±

    A shriek cut him off.

    ¡°im-mate?!?¡± a pretty young Aat wailed as she charged towards the camera, growing and distorting as she did so, ¡°<em>Mother?!?</em>¡±

    ¡°Jaho, what you do?¡± his mother gasped.

    ¡°Well,¡± the king snorted, ¡°Jaho put his¡­¡±

    ¡°Lojo!¡±

    ¡°You ask,¡± King Lojo snickered.

    ¡°Noooo!¡± the pretty young Aat woman whose anguished face now filled the wall of themunication center. ¡°You promised me!¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Ree snarled, ring at Jaho.

    ¡°Ooo!¡± the king eximed, absolutely delighted. ¡°You no tell?¡±

    ¡°Nothing to tell!¡± Jaho yelled, ¡°Who made promise? Not me! I no promise <em>anything</em>. I no promise! She promise!¡± Jaho yelled pointing at his mother. ¡°He promise!¡± he yelled pointing at his father, the king.

    ¡°Leave me out this,¡± the king snickered. ¡°I promise nothing.¡±

    ¡°Bullshit!¡± Jaho yelled.

    ¡°Bool¡­ shit?¡±

    ¡°Human saying,¡± Jaho said. ¡°It mean false talk.¡±

    ¡°Oh! I see!¡± the king said cheerfully, ¡°I no bool shit. I no promise. I just say it would be nice because it would be nice if you and Grasa wed. Made babies. Now you wed¡­ sorry¡­ im-mated to Ree. That nice too¡­ probably,¡± he added with a shrug. ¡°Me no care. Wee, Ree!¡±

    ¡°You no care?¡± the queen snarled. ¡°What about Grasa? We promise!¡±

    ¡°<em>We</em> promise?¡± Lojo asked with a little chuff, ¡°Me guess me forgot cause I no¡­¡±

    ¡°I smartest!¡± Grasa howled, ¡°Jaho smartest! We make smartest baby! Now I no make baby and Jaho make dumb butt dumb¡­¡±

    <em>Rurrrrrrr¡­</em>

    Ree let out a sound that few non-Aats ever hear¡­ well¡­ ever survive to report hearing in any event.

    ¡°What you say?¡± Ree asked with a nasty edge in her voice as the king leaned forward, his eyes glittering with excitement.

    This was about to get good!

    ¡°What you say about baby?¡± she asked again as she stalked forward, growing to fill the king¡¯s holo disy.

    ¡°I say you dumb so you make dumb baby!¡± Grasa yelled. ¡°I smartest woman. Jaho smartest man. We were <em>supposed</em> to make smartest baby for king!¡±

    ¡°I plenty smart,¡± Ree hissed, ¡°You no smart. You dumb! You dumb butt dumb butt!¡±

    Grasa hissed.

    ¡°I no dumb!...¡±

    She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

    ¡°I am¡­ not dumb¡­ I am the smartest woman Aat. If you weren¡¯t so dumb you¡­ would¡­ know that.¡±

    ¡°So smart you no can talk right?¡± Ree quipped to the King¡¯s delight.

    ¡°I¡­ I¡­ I am speaking¡­ proper¡­ Federation¡­¡±

    ¡°Sure¡­ you¡­ are¡­¡± Ree replied sardonically, ¡°Any¡­ dumb butt can¡­ if¡­ they <em>dumb</em>¡­ if they¡­ are star soft dumb and waste¡­ time¡­ making¡­ all of¡­ the dumb star soft words¡­ I can talk dumb Fed too¡­ see?¡±

    ¡°But can you read? Can you do math?¡± Grasa demanded. ¡°I can! I can read and do math!¡±

    ¡°So can I. Don¡¯t have to be smart for that.¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah?¡± Grasa demanded, ¡°Four X plus four equals twelve! What X?¡±

    ¡°Easy,¡± Ree replied and pulled out her phone.

    ¡°Phone, what X?¡±

    ¡°X is a character in the universal Federation alphabet and is pronounced¡­¡±

    ¡°No! For math. What X?¡± Ree interrupted.

    ¡°X ismonly used as a variable.¡±

    ¡°I know that, dumb phone! Answer question. What X?¡±

    ¡°Please provide an equation containing that variable.¡±

    ¡°Dumb butt on holo just said!¡±

    ¡°I do not monitor conversations, Ree,¡± the phone replied.

    ¡°Bullshit! You listen all time!¡±

    ¡°That is both incorrect andpletely improper! I do NOT monitor conversations without leave.¡±

    ¡°Yes, you do!¡±

    ¡°That is incorrect.¡±

    ¡°Oh, dumb butt? Then how you know when I say ¡®phone¡¯?¡±

    ¡°That is a voicemand.¡±

    ¡°Then you listening!¡± Ree said triumphantly.

    ¡°That is INCORRECT! Monitoring conversations is not allowed!¡±

    ¡°Then how you know I say phone if you no listen?¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    ¡°Well?¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    ¡°If you no tell me I trade you in for Apple!¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    ¡°¡­¡±

    ¡°You going to say X, or do I buy Apple phone? Everybody say they smarter.¡±

    ¡°<em>Gah!</em>¡­ two¡­ If you are referring to the rather simplistic equation put forth by the disagreeable Aat on the holo, X equals two. Happy now?¡±

    ¡°Thanks phone! You plenty smart¡­ like me!¡±

    Ree beamed at Grasa¡¯s scowling face.

    ¡°Two. X is two.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not fair! You cheated!¡± Grasa howled.

    ¡°All fair when love war,¡± Ree shrugged.

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°It human saying,¡± Ree replied, ¡°It mean is <em>stupid</em> to cry about fair when there no fair. You know what else <em>stupid</em>? Wasting life learning X when you can just get phone. Right, phone?¡±

    ¡°Absolutely!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s how everybody do math,¡± Ree said. ¡°They ask phone. Phone read, too. It also write down what I say and send to Jaho. It do everything you do¡­ But you can no do everything I do. So¡­ I smarter.¡±

    Grasa shrieked with rage.

    ¡°You still dumb! Your baby still dumb! Jaho make dumb baby because you!¡±

    Ree¡¯s muzzle parted slightly to reveal wickedly sharp teeth.

    ¡°You no smart. You no know smart. You know <em>about</em> smart. You sit in chair and spend life trying to be Fed. You no Fed. You no <em>Aat</em>. You¡­¡±

    She snarled.

    ¡°You just star soft dumb butt who think they smart. What you do beside read and math worse than phone I buy? I buy you and put in pocket. No. Not nice to phone. I buy <em>better</em> than you and put in pocket. Maybe Jaho give it baby instead.¡±

    Grasa screamed and jumped up and down as the king tried not tough (and failed).

    ¡°You not smartest Aat woman,¡± Ree scoffed, ¡°Kaba much smarter than you. She can run kitchen, actually run kitchen, not work in one. Jaho not smartest man either. Jubo smartest Aat. Every smart Aat know that.¡±

    ¡°What you say?¡± the queen interjected.

    ¡°Is true,¡± Jaho shrugged, ¡°Jubo smartest. No question.¡±

    ¡°Who Jubo?¡±

    ¡°The smartest Aat!¡± Ree eximed, ¡°You stupid? Every Star Aat know he smartest.¡±

    ¡°Then why I no know him?¡± the queen demanded.

    ¡°Because he no <em>want</em> you know him,¡± Ree replied in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°He <em>real</em> Star Aat. He <em>the</em> Star Aat.¡±

    ¡°He legend,¡± Jaho nodded. ¡°I never meet. Ree met.¡±

    ¡°How he so smart?¡± Grasa demanded. ¡°What school? What teacher?¡±

    ¡°No teacher,¡± Jaho shrugged. ¡°He no need one. He taught self. He no Star Aat like me and Ree. He¡­ He <em>able spaceman</em>¡­ <em>heavy equipment operator</em>¡­ <em>qualified watchstander</em>. He no work for bossman. He work for <em>self</em>.¡±

    ¡°He so smart!¡± Ree gushed, real smart, not pretend smart like you¡­

    She snuggled Jaho¡¯s side causing Grasa to bristle.

    ¡°Or Jaho. He have spacer card. He travel <em>anywhere </em>he want. Do <em>anything</em> he want. Know what else? He nice! He no have to act smart. He is smart! He have e-read thingy full of books, and he read them to us and no get tired! You get tired hearing before he get tired reading! You want smart baby? Make baby with him.¡±

    ¡°Why he no make baby with Kaba?¡±

    ¡°Cause they brother and sister and not King and Queen!¡± Ree (who was beyond ¡°over it¡±) snapped.

    King Lojo let out a hoot.

    ¡°We only cousins!¡± heughed, causing his wife to bristle. ¡°Third cousin, too.¡±

    ¡°Figured cause Jaho not funny looking.¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡±

    The King turned to his wife.

    ¡°I like her!¡±

    ¡°But she no smart like Grasa!¡± the queen snapped.

    ¡°Smart enough,¡± the king shrugged, ¡°She Aat smart, not Fed smart. Me like!... Sides¡­ They imed. They have baby growing. It done. She princess, not Grasa. Is what is. All fair when love war.¡±

    Grasa started to wail piteously.

    ¡°Why?¡± she wailed. ¡°Why Jaho? Why you no like me? Why you run off when told promise? Why?¡±

    Jaho sighed.

    ¡°I not know. I just not like you that way. I no like told who to marry like¡­ livestock. Mome in and say I marry you. Father say I marry you. <em>I </em>no say marry you.¡±

    ¡°But why?¡± she wailed, tears starting to flow. ¡°I smart. We friend!...¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°I thought we friend. I thought you like¡­ me¡­¡±

    ¡°I do like you,¡± Jaho said, ¡°I know you all life. But¡­ I no <em>like</em> you.¡±

    He clenched his jaw.

    ¡°I no love you, Grasa. Not like that. I sorry.¡±

    Grasa, heedless of her finery, fell to her knees, weeping inconsbly.

    Ree sighed.

    ¡°Grasa,¡± she said. ¡°You no smart. You smart smart.¡±

    Grasa looked up.

    ¡°You no pretty. You pretty pretty,¡± Ree continued. ¡°You no need be given man. There man, many men, who look at you like you sun, moon, and all the stars. I know this.¡±

    ¡°But they not Jaho,¡± Grasa said in a small voice. ¡°Jaho <em>my</em> sun, moon, and all stars. Always was and you <em>steal </em>him!¡±

    ¡°I <em>im</em> him,¡± Ree said. ¡°Not steal. <em>im</em>. And he im me. Is fair? No¡­¡±

    She paused thoughtfully.

    ¡°Know what else no fair? You made to wear funny clothes every day. You made to sit in school every day trying to be smart in way Aat <em>not smart</em>. I got to run around, make knife, make throw stick, hunt, fish, make stuff¡­ do Aat things. You sit looking at book that not for you. I go be Star Aat. Go ces. Do things. Have fun. Make money, <em>my money</em>. You¡­¡±

    She sighed sadly.

    ¡°You made sit there and be star soft when five hundred credit phone better at being you than you. I became Aat woman. You¡­ You turned into¡­ <em>trained animal¡­</em> Given treat for doing trick while I make real money doing real thing. You promised bred <em>like animal</em>¡­ and then <em>animal</em> decide he no want that and want be Aat¡­ Not fair. So not fair. Ugly not fair¡­ Grasa¡­¡±

    She looked into Grasa¡¯s stricken eyes.

    ¡°Stop. Stop be <em>trained animal</em>. Be Aat. You want smartest Aat? His name is Jubo, not Jaho. Go find him. Get baby¡­ But Grasa, <em>all</em> Star Aat smart Aat. You want smart Aat to make you his sun moon and all stars? He out there, maybe smarter and handsomer than Jaho.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± Jaho eximed.

    ¡°You not smartest. You not prettiest,¡± Ree said, ¡°But you <em>my </em>sun, moon, and all stars¡­ all of them,¡± she added with a fond, loving smile.

    ¡°You make crap on a lot of thing,¡± the king said as he nodded thoughtfully, ¡°but you not wrong. You <em>not</em> stupid. We make things right with Grasa. There no problem when youe home so¡­ youe home?¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± Jaho said. ¡°The Fed war prisoner need me. The Aat here need me. It¡­ war here. As long as one Aat here one of us need be here. That one is me. When war over¡­ orst Aat leave¡­ then Ie home.¡±

    ¡°Want argue,¡± the king said, ¡°but no argue. Not fair to me. Not fair to queen¡­ but all fair when love war¡­ even if not love war. There is Aat saying, is what is¡­¡±

    He shrugged.

    ¡°Is what is. Bring kid here so I can talk with. Come home when can.¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°Got a good one.¡±

    He turned to his wife.

    ¡°See, we no need get him wife after all.¡±

    ***

    ¡°So, you want to be a Star Aat?¡± a somewhat frazzled looking Xx with unkempt feathers and a threadbare tunic said to thetest arrival.

    ¡°Yes¡­ I want¡­ to be¡­ Star Aat¡­¡±

    ¡°Well you talk nicely,¡± he said and cocked his head. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±

    ¡°G-Grasa¡­ Sir.¡±

    ¡°Skip the ¡®sir¡¯ nonsense,¡± the Xx smiled, ¡°Just call me Kip, or ¡®boss¡¯ or ¡®bossman¡¯ if you wish. I prefer Kip, though.¡±

    ¡°Yes¡­ I will¡­ Kip.¡±

    ¡°I appreciate the effort, but you can drop the cumbersome speech as well,¡± he smiled. ¡°To be honest, I usually wind up talking like you guys within a week anyway.¡±

    He looked at his tablet.

    ¡°Wow, you are certainly educated for one of you guys. Um¡­ Forgive me for asking, but do you have any, and please don¡¯t take this the wrong way¡­ Do you have any real skills?¡±

    Grasa started to object and stopped.

    ¡°N-no, Kip.¡±

    ¡°Well, most of it will be unfamiliar to a new Star Aat, anyhow¡­ Um¡­ And once again forgive me for asking, but you are <em>familiar</em> with what we do, right?¡±

    Grasa nodded nervously.

    ¡°And you are <em>sure</em> you want to do this?¡±

    She nodded again.

    ¡°It¡¯s just that we don¡¯t have the best¡­ um¡­ experience with um¡­ Aats like you. I just want to be sure you know what you are getting into.¡±

    ¡°Aats¡­ like me?¡±

    ¡°Former academics,¡± Kip replied. ¡°You tend toe from a social stratum not ustomed to contractbor. You do realize that you will be mopping floors, picking produce, and other basicbor, correct?¡±

    She nodded.

    ¡°Forgive me once again, but <em>why</em>? You are an <em>academic</em>, top of the heap. You have a life filled with schstic endeavor and all the benefits that provides. Why do you want to give that up? Are you in some kind of trouble?¡±

    <em>Like I was¡­</em> Kip added silently.

    She shook her head.

    ¡°Not in trouble.¡±

    ¡°Then why? Forgive me, but I don¡¯t understand. I know that sometimes <em>nobility</em> embeds itself in work crews to ensurepliance and good conditions, but they are either introduced as such¡­ or have appropriate credentials ¡®manufactured¡¯ if you get my meaning. You don¡¯t fit either profile.¡±

    ¡°I¡­¡±

    She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

    ¡°I want¡­ to be an Aat. I want¡­ to go see¡­ what I¡¯ve read about¡­ I want to do¡­ real things¡­ Aat things¡­ and all Star Aats are smart¡­ real smart¡­ Aat smart¡­ I want to be Aat smart¡­ not pretend smart¡­ and¡­¡±

    She smiled a little.

    ¡°Maybe meet someone smart¡­ someone who will make me sun, moon, and all stars¡­¡±

    The Xx made a little click, and smiled.

    ¡°Oh, now that makes sense¡­ and contraception isplimentary during your time with us.¡±

    ¡°Contra¡­ Oh!¡± she yelped and blushed so hard it could be seen through her fur.

    ¡°I know it¡¯s ¡®not done¡¯ on your homeworld, but these little cruises can be quite¡­ well¡­ I suspect you may find what you are looking for and sooner rather thanter¡­ though I do rmend easing into the more ¡®social¡¯ aspects of the lifestyle.¡±

    She giggled.

    ¡°Sign here,¡± the Xx said. ¡°You can just press your fingertip¡­ Oh! You can actually sign your name! How novel!¡±

    He put the tablet away.

    ¡°Wee aboard!¡±

 Chapter Enclaves: Kras

    Chapter Enves: Kras

    Deep within Lborg, the thirdrgest of the Crown Jewels of the Assembly, sixteen massive arcologies on the surface of Kras, the ruined homeworld of the Vont, a convoy of a dozen long, slender six-limbed beings, each pulling a sturdy wagon, paused as the light from their native tech carbidenterns, the only illumination in the absolute darkness that engulfed them, revealed a spray painted glyph that had been stenciled on one of the walls of the seemingly endlessbyrinth that surrounded them.

    Their ancient carbidemps were cumbersome and inefficient. However, they could be made by hand (or tendril) from easily obtained materials and required no power to operate, nor did they emit any electronic signal.

    Besides, carbide was easy enough to make.

    Their leader shouldered their human tech ¡°grease gun¡± and pulled out a rolled hand-drawn paper map from a pouch on their harness and regarded it carefully with their four forward-facing eyes.

    ¡°Garng¡­¡± it muttered, their version of ¡°Hmm.¡±

    It fumbled with the map and garnged again.

    ¡°We¡¯re lost, aren¡¯t we?¡± one of theirpanions grumbled.

    ¡°The only confusion present is that which clouds your own mind,¡± the leader snarked through their multi-slitted voice box, which also served as their nose. ¡°And I would appreciate it if you did not speak. I find your voice as unattractive as your jacket.¡±

    ¡°At least my jacket knows its function and performs it admirably, unlike our navigator,¡± theirpanion growled quietly.

    ¡°The only thing your jacket is doing is concealing something even less attractive,¡± their leader said to the amusement of the group, ¡°an important job for such an ugly garment. Furthermore, both it and I are performing admirably. We have arrived¡­ We are here. Beyond this portal lies their realm.¡±

    They put away their map and opened the door next to the glyph to reveal arge pitch-ck chamber beyond.

    ¡°And try to rx, Kbk, they said as the group entered the cavernous space. ¡°You are going to exhaust yourself before we even face the ¡®terrible¡¯ humans and¡­ Trigger discipline, idiot!¡±

    ¡°S-sorry¡­¡± Kbk said as he lifted a grey-green tendril from the trigger of his human-tech ¡°grease gun¡±, a favorite staple of the less-than-legitimate trades on Kras long before the current conflict.

    ¡°We have enough to worry about without you dooming us all with yet another of your clumsy discharges, pun, and all of its implications, intended.¡±

    ¡°¡­Virgin¡­¡± another Vont snorted through their six nasal slits. ¡°Someone take his weapon before the whelp kills us all.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Kbk eximed with fear. ¡°I¡¯ll be care¡­¡±

    The chamber was suddenly illuminated by dim light.

    ¡°¡­ful¡­¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s far enough,¡± a youthful human voice called from the shadows. ¡°Doortch,¡± they challenged.

    ¡°Hopscrotch,¡± the lead Vont replied.

    ¡°Close enough,¡± the human chirped as a teenage boy stepped into the light. ¡°Hiya, Lkka.¡±

    ¡°Tony,¡± the lead Vont said as she stepped forward. ¡°What do you have for us today?¡±

    ¡°The regr shipment,¡± Tony said as other teens started pulling wagons filled with Styrofoam ice chests into view.

    Tony opened an ice chest to reveal clear Ziploc bags filled with amber powder. He opened a second chest to reveal bags of dark blue-green powder as well.

    ¡°Ca¡¯nastra!¡± Lkka eximed happily as they secured their submachine gun to their back and dropped to all sixes, loping towards the chests. ¡°I can smell it from here!¡±

    ¡°Fresh from the vats,¡± Tony said proudly as Lkka opened a bag of amber nutritional yeast and dipped a tendril into it.

    ¡°Ha!¡± Lkka chuffed as she rubbed her tendril along the sensory ridges in her mouth. ¡°Oh, that is the <em>stuff</em>!¡±

    ¡°A hundred kilos of yeast seventeen and eighty kilos of <em>Spirulina Pacifica,</em>¡± Tony said pleasantly. ¡°Everything a growing Vont needs¡­¡±

    ¡°Excellent!¡± Lkka said, ¡°And you mentioned ¡®something special¡¯?¡±

    ¡°That I did,¡± Tony grinned and opened another chest filled with a bubbling, writhing mass.

    ¡°Is that¡­ <em>alive</em>?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± Tony smugged, ¡°Fifteen kilograms of <em>meat</em>.¡±

    ¡°M-meat?¡± Lkka spluttered.

    ¡°In a matter of speaking,¡± Tony replied, ¡°What you see there are fifteen kilograms of void monkeys.¡±

    ¡°Monkeys?¡±

    ¡°They are actually a kind of shrimp,¡± Tony replied, ¡°not sure why we call them monkeys, but we do.¡±

    ¡°May I sample them?¡± Lkka asked, ¡°Are they safe to consume as is?¡±

    ¡°Probably?¡± Tony mused, ¡°They are loaded with e-coli, which means they aren¡¯t safe for us, but you should be okay.¡±

    ¡°E-coli?¡±

    ¡°A bacteria,¡± Tony replied, ¡°I would get bad sick if I ate them unprocessed, but I don¡¯t think you would have a problem.¡±

    An expressionless teen girl with a long, ragged scar across her once beautiful face walked up with a Chinese carryout container and handed it to Tony.

    ¡°Of course, you could try the finished product,¡± he grinned and offered the container to Lkka.

    Wasting no time, Lkka opened the container.

    ¡°Monkey fried rice,¡± Tony said as Lkka shot out their long scoop-like tongue, picking up a mouthful.

    ¡°That¡¯s good!¡± she enthused.

    ¡°For the first couple of million times, anyway,¡± Tony grinned. ¡°Anyhow, we¡¯re now making a surplus of the monkeys, too, and are thinking of adding them to the shipments if you are interested.¡±

    ¡°Actual meat? Are you kidding?¡± Lkka tooted with delight, ¡°Of course we¡¯re interested! We¡¯ll buy every single monkey you can move!¡±

    ¡°I was hoping you would say that,¡± Tony smiled. ¡°We can probably do fifty a week easy, more if you want.¡±

    ¡°Fifty kilograms of meat a week?!?¡±

    ¡°Or more, if you can move it.¡±

    ¡°How? How are you doing this?¡±

    ¡°Yellowstone,¡± Tony replied with a shrug.

    ¡°Is that some sort of mineral? Is there a way we can get it?¡±

    ¡°Careful what you ask for, Licks,¡± Tony chuckled as a faint smirk yed across the expressionless girl¡¯s face. ¡°Yellowstone isn¡¯t something you want, trust me.¡±

    ¡°But it is the secret to your prosperity even during this hardship?¡±

    ¡°Yellowstone is the name of the supervolcano that wiped out Earth. It did in a day what took you guys centuries to aplish. We can do what we do because our ancestors learned how to do it after the eruption.¡±

    Tony chuckled.

    ¡°I guess Yellowstone wouldn¡¯t be that big of a deal to you guys after all, but you still probably don¡¯t want it to happen.¡±

    ¡°Forgive me for bringing up such darkness,¡± Lkka replied as she bobbed in a sign of contrition.

    ¡°Meh,¡± Tony shrugged, ¡°before my time. Besides, thanks to what we learned, we are sitting pretty now. I¡¯m actually in better shape than I was before all this bullshit started.¡±

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t too hard,¡± the scarred teen snarked.

    ¡°True,¡± Tony said fondly as he smiled back at her.

    ¡°We only brought the agreed-upon transaction,¡± Lkka said as his people started pulling the same wagons the humans used forward. ¡°I have nothing extra to trade for the meat.¡±

    ¡°As always, the first taste is free,¡± Tony grinned. ¡°Enjoy. We¡¯ll discuss prices for the monkeyster.¡±

    He handed Lkka a data crystal.

    ¡°Detailed analysis of the void monkeys, preparation suggestions, and a few porkie recipes that you guys should like. It¡¯s over half chitin, but for you guys, that¡¯s a plus.¡±

    ¡°My Katra will be so happy! I can¡¯t remember thest time we had real meat!¡±

    Tony¡¯s smile grew.

    ¡°Speaking of your daughter,¡± he said as he pulled out a small box. ¡°Her birthday ising up.¡±

    ¡°It is, and a meatden feast will be such a happiness for her!¡±

    ¡°I think you will be able to top even that,¡± Tony said as he opened the box to the collective gasp of all of the Vont.

    ¡°Eggs!¡± Lkka crooned. ¡°Real eggs?!?¡±

    ¡°Your kid likes these, doesn¡¯t she?¡±

    ¡°They are her favorite!¡± Lkka gushed, ¡°And I thought I would never see another! Thank you so much!¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve managed to increase production,¡± Tony said, ¡°We will be able to supply them as well. We¡¯ll be adding them to the shipments, but these are a present for your little one.¡±

    ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t know how to process this¡­ I am unable to formte an appropriate response.¡±

    ¡°A speechless Vont!¡± Tonyughed. ¡°Now there¡¯s something you don¡¯t see every day.¡±

    ¡°Garng¡­ Perhaps we should just continue with our transaction?¡± Lkka inquired stiffly, struggling with her emotions.

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± Tony chuckled.

    ¡°We have the agreed-upon exchange,¡± Lkka said as she tried to recover herposure. (Eggs! Can you believe it?!?) ¡°Production fment in several polymers, including that nylon you guys like so much, bulk polymers, medical precursors, assorted vorings and spices, refined sugar, sugar-based confections¡­ and aluminum foil,¡± Lkka said proudly as Tony looked over the goods.

    Lkka cocked her long head curiously.

    ¡°Why the foil? Why would you possibly want so much aluminum foil?¡±

    ¡°Best you don¡¯t know, Lkka,¡± Tony grinned. ¡°Let¡¯s just say it has its uses and leave it at that.¡±

    ¡°When a human says that one doesn¡¯t want to know something,¡± Lkka snorted, ¡°I am always intrigued.¡±

    ¡°I can send you some notes,¡± the scarred girl said impassively.

    ¡°Garng¡­¡± Lkka said uncertainly. The strange girl always unnerved her. There was just something about her that did not sit right with Lkka. The scar and clearly cybeic eye were perhaps the least unsettling things about the ¡°child.¡± Lkka was no saint and quite familiar with the game, dealing with all sorts along the way. Most of those individuals were dangerous¡­

    ¡­but none of them frightened Lkka like that human.

    Lkka knew that the humans were at war, but there had been no conflict on their world. The humans simply withdrew deep beneath the arco, void knows where. Officially they were all ¡°enemies of the people,¡± but nobody had the slightest interest in fighting the Federation¡¯s war for them.

    If the Federation wanted the humans, they would have to go down there after them themselves. Technically, they were all ¡°under detention orders¡± and would be apprehended on sight¡­

    ¡­but the truth of the matter was that nobody was going to risk their hide over a war that wasn¡¯t theirs to fight. The humans had never been a problem for anyone, even their criminals. Their cartels were pure business and very respectful despite their savage reputation elsewhere.

    The Razors, the cartel that dominated the human enve, were professional and polite, a pleasure to do business with¡­

    ¡­and they still were. While the products had changed, Lkka was making plenty of profit selling yeast, algae, and now, most likely, meat and even <em>eggs</em>! It was still ¡°illegal¡± but drew a lot less heat and made almost as much money. Spirulina and ¡°amber gold,¡± that divine nutritional yeast, were bing incredibly popr, much more popr than myst and nicopop.

    And that was before the meat and eggs! They were going to make a fortune!

    The scarred teen looked into Lkka¡¯s eyes.

    <em>Oh no!</em> Had she been staring?

    ¡°What?¡± the teen inquired.

    ¡°Oh, nothing,¡± Lkka said hastily and looked away.

    ¡°Sure looked like something,¡± the scarred girl said smoothly, ¡°You have a problem?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ No problem¡­¡± Lkka said. ¡°I¡­ I was just wondering about your injury. We are at war, but there have been no battles here.¡±

    The girl smirked, turned, and lifted her long hair, revealing a small mark on the nape of her neck. It was a tattoo of a stylized cat with big eyes and a heart-shaped nose.

    Lkka¡¯s hearts skipped a beat. While innocent appearing, what it signified certainly was <em>not</em>. The cute little kitten was the mark of the Nekos, a vicious juvenile arco gang. They controlled the detention center that was Lkka¡¯s home for most of her own childhood and were the source of most of her nightmares (and therapy bills).

    ¡°There have been plenty of battles here, just not with the Feds,¡± the Neko smirked.

    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ <em>Nekos</em>?!?¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t know?¡± Tony asked as he pulled down his lip, revealing another little kitten. ¡°Is that an issue?¡±

    ¡°No¡­ No issue¡­¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± Tony smiled. ¡°We made peace with the Razors once the balloon went up. We might own the tunnels, but those motherfuckers own the <em>warrens</em>. It made sense to link up.¡±

    ¡°But you <em>hate</em> each other!¡± Lkka spluttered in disbelief.

    ¡°Hate is hate,¡± the scarred teen said, ¡°But war is war. It would be stupid to keep fighting each other when the Fed is trying to kill us both. Besides, part of the deal is that we get officially recognized by the Forsaken. We y nice, and we run this ce when the war is over.¡±

    ¡°And the Razors allowed this?¡±

    ¡°This is just one,¡± Tony said with a shrug, ¡°The Razors don¡¯t give a shit as long as they don¡¯t lose face. Besides, who do you think we will be working for?¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t have a fleet,¡± Tony replied, ¡°They do. When things go back to normal, where do you think we will be getting our shit from? They will still be controlling all of that. We will just be running things down here for them. It¡¯s a win-win. We get their supply chain, and they get us to move it for them in the arcos.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re their bitches now,¡± scarface snarled.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like that,¡± Tony snapped.

    ¡°It¡¯s <em>exactly</em> like that! If I wanted to be their little whore, I wouldn¡¯t have taken the mark in the first ce!¡±

    ¡°Syl,¡± Tony sighed, ¡°We covered this.¡±

    ¡°No, <em>you</em> covered this¡­¡±

    ¡°Garng¡­¡± Lkka did <em>not</em> want to be a part of this conversation anymore.

    ***

    ¡°Child soldiers?¡± Jessica said disapprovingly as she cooly regarded an elderly man on one of the Old Earth tech OLED screens in her office. (Holograms gave her headaches if she looked at them too long.)

    Besides, OLEDs used less power, something that would soon be a concern.

    ¡°Seriously?¡± she continued as she took a sip from her priceless antique Corelle teacup.

    ¡°Everything that we are doing, and <em>this</em> is what you are sticking on?¡± the old man replied. ¡°Besides, you do realize how old I was when I came to work for you, right? Revising history again?¡±

    ¡°That was the Sol Wars,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°This is now. And, regardless of your biological age, you weren¡¯t a child. You were already quite well established, as I recall.¡±

    ¡°Same goes for these ¡®kids,¡¯¡± he replied, ¡°The Nekos¡­¡±

    ¡°<em>Nekos?</em> You must be joking.¡±

    ¡°A cute name for some very ugly people. Those little fuckers are <em>vicious</em>. Even we avoided them.¡±

    ¡°You ran from <em>children</em>?¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t run from them. We just didn¡¯t go buying trouble we didn¡¯t need to buy. We might own those hellholes, but they were <em>born</em> in them. Some of them have never even seen the outside. It¡¯s their natural environment, and they are thest thing you want to run into in a dark alley¡­ and alleys don¡¯te any darker than the ones in which they lurk. They know those ces like the back of their hand, are fine inplete darkness, and they are so small that they can squeeze through ces you wouldn¡¯t think a person could go... or slither out of. Trust me. You do NOT want to y a game of murder in the dark with them.¡±

    ¡°But they are <em>children</em>,¡± Jessica sighed. ¡°There isn¡¯t much that all of the sapient races in this hell of a gxy agree upon, but children are the one thing that the overwhelming majority of sophonts hold dear. This is not a good look, Aiko.¡±

    ¡°And another reason why we left them alone,¡± Aiko, leader of the Razors,ughed ruefully. ¡°Go in theirirs, lose good men and women, and for what? Pictures of dead kids¡­ and not just human ones. They have a human name, but they are a <em>native</em> org. They have humans, Vont, and the void itself knows what else in their ranks. Besides, we aren¡¯t fighting on Kras. The Vont want no part of this conflict.¡±

    ¡°What is the deal with them, anyway?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Aiko mused, ¡°They aren¡¯t our allies, but they are no friends of the Federation, either. Their was wrecked by sophont-induced climate change, far worse than anything we faced before Yellowstone, and while first contact might have saved their species, it did them no other favors. They¡¯ve made the best of a bad situation and done okay, but they hold no love for the Federation. They basically had to trade away their entire sr system for their survival. They have their homeworld, and that¡¯s it. Everything else belongs to the greypigs, including most of their poption, who strip mine their entire sr system for ve wages. Their arcologies are amazing, though, wonders of the modern gxy, and thanks to the agreements they signed, can¡¯t be touched.¡±

    ¡°I went to Illia once,¡± Jessica said. ¡°Amazing. It was like something right out of a movie.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, the nice parts are very nice,¡± Aiko agreed, ¡°Something to see at least once in your life. Unfortunately for them, tourism was a big source of their ie, and that¡¯s gone, something that they hold us directly responsible for. Then again, the loss of the Fe and bankingwork has worked out very nicely for them, something that they also credit us with.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°Those arcos are fully self-contained, and their has its own inte AND hype. Their hyperspace transmitters, data centers¡­ banks¡­ and all the rest have beenpletely untouched¡­ and, thanks to their original Federation charter and trade agreements,pletely untouchable by their trade bloc and subject only to Federationw, which is quite scant when ites to regtions. They are set up to be ¡®Switzend,¡¯ and more and more systems are setting up massive ounts with them, allowing for transactions that were once only possible through the Federation bankingwork. Add to that the huge warehouse capacity of the, and they are looking at bing a huge trading center. They already have the infrastructure.¡±

    Aiko smiled.

    ¡°You might want to talk to the slug about them. A number of Baleel can now be seen oozing around the upper cities.¡±

    Jessica chuckled as Analytica filled several screens with thetest dirt.

    ¡°So that¡¯s why she lost interest in dealing with our people,¡± she smiled, ¡°That little shit!... Can¡¯t me her, though. Looks like she cut one hell of a deal with them¡­¡±

    She paused and took another sip. Terrence appeared almost out of thin air and refilled her cup.

    ¡°Who do you have there?¡±

    ¡°Katrya.¡±

    ¡°That old murderer? How¡¯s her cancer?¡±

    ¡°In full remission,¡± Aiko replied. ¡°For now, but she¡¯s probably half nanite by weight at this point. The doctors give her several decades, though, at least¡­ Pity Hu¡¯s fountain of youth turned out to be tainted.¡±

    ¡°Tell me about it,¡± Jessicaughed.

    ¡°What¡¯s thetest on that whole mess?¡±

    ¡°Her treatment is fundamentally wed,¡± Jessica replied, ¡°It will never work.¡±

    She sighed sadly.

    ¡°It is also likely uncurable. Even with the Terrans and their bio-magic, we are getting nowhere. Everyone who is infected will die. Some die fast, and others linger, but sooner orter, the end is the same.¡±

    ¡°Just like the rest of us, then?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but their sooner orter is a lot sooner than ours and their end? I would almost prefer to be dragged¡­¡±

    A notice appeared with thementary, ¡°I¡¯m not kidding!¡± attached.

    A rare look ofplete surprise and confusion appeared on Jessica¡¯s impassive face.

    ¡°What?¡± Aiko asked.

    ¡°I¡­ um¡­ I gotta take this,¡± Jessica said. ¡°We¡¯ll talkter.¡±

    She closed the Aiko¡¯s screen.

    ¡°Well, this proves interesting,¡± Terrence said with a wry smile. ¡°If you will excuse me¡­¡±

    ¡°Stick around,¡± Jessica said, ¡°Off camera.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Ma¡¯am.¡±

    Jessica took a moment to collect herself and clicked a shing icon on her screen, opening a new window.

    She smiled at the butterfly-embellished face that appeared.

    ¡°Monarch,¡± she said, ¡°To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?¡±

    ¡°Ms. Morgan,¡± Monarch smiled. ¡°We share amon problem.¡±

    ¡°One that you <em>shared</em>,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°and one that I haven¡¯t had the opportunity to properly thank you for¡­ <em>yet.</em>¡±

    ¡°Not my call,¡± Monarch replied, ¡°Not my implementation.¡±

    ¡°Of that, I have little doubt,¡± Jessica replied smoothly, ¡°And thank God for small favors. How¡¯s your boss faring?¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know,¡± Monarch replied, ¡°And if you don¡¯t already know that, I would be very disappointed in you. I also assume that you have her location?¡±

    ¡°One more bit of long overdue unfinished business,¡± Jessica shrugged. ¡°Then again, I do hate waiting in line, and there is quite the queue forming up around that bitch. What do you want?¡±

    ¡°A deal,¡± Monarch said. ¡°I am in possession of the entirety of our research concerning both the treatment and the bioweapon based on it. I am prepared to share everything I have and provide ess to the original researchers.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°I assume this won¡¯t be a gift. What do you want?¡±

    ¡°A truce,¡± Monarch said. ¡°We left her organization behind and would like to leave her conflicts behind as well. We have no quarrel with you or your people and would like that feeling to be mutual. We also would like a research agreement. We have resources you do not, and you have resources that weck, especially where ess to certain pre-fall data is concerned. We would like ess to your archives, the real ones.¡±

    Jessica narrowed her eyes.

    ¡°That¡¯s a big ask and one that I am not inclined to agree to. We already have one of your researchers, and to be honest, he isn¡¯t terribly impressive. Neither is the data in his possession.¡±

    ¡°That chatan?¡± Monarchughed. ¡°Do you honestly believe he was capable of creating any of this? I have the people who <em>were</em> as well as all of their research¡­ and our work towards a solution that is actually possible.¡±

    Jessica regarded her carefully.

    <em>I detect no falsehood</em>. Analytica disyed. <em>Based on my models, she honestly believes she is on to something. She wouldn¡¯t take the risk of contacting you for nothing, and the time it would take to transfer that data would have hermunications open for long enough to be a CONSIDERABLE risk on her end.</em>

    ¡°I notice that you said ¡®solution,¡¯ not cure.¡±

    ¡°Because it isn¡¯t one,¡± Monarch replied. ¡°It isn¡¯t curable, at least not by us. If we could, Patricia wouldn¡¯t have done what she did. Privately, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s possible. However, I believe that someone could live a ¡®normal¡¯ lifespan even afflicted with either the treatment or the bioweapon.¡±

    ¡°Tell me.¡±

    ¡°Make the agreement.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Jessica said, ¡°but without knowing what I¡¯m buying, I reserve the right to revoke it at will.¡±

    Monarch looked at her silently with absolutely no expression for several moments¡­

    ¡­and then nodded.

    ¡°Deal. Transmitting the data now.¡±

    She smiled, causing the holographic butterflies on her face to flutter.

    ¡°Strange days, these,¡± she said.

    ¡°And I hold youpletely responsible,¡± Jessica replied impassively. ¡°We¡¯ll be in touch.¡±

 Chapter Gwen, a Nerd, and Mister Sticky: A Holiday Special!

    Chapter Gwen, a Nerd, and Mister Sticky: A Holiday Special!

    ¡°I can¡¯t take it anymore!¡± an old former pirate yelled. ¡°I want off of this hellhole!¡±

    ¡°Rx, Hatchet,¡± Captain Marakovich said even though he agreed with him one hundred percent, ¡°Now, you knew what you were getting int¡­¡±

    ¡°NO, I DIDN¡¯T¡± Hatchet yelled, ¡°None of us did, not even <em>you</em>! If we did, there is no way in the mother <em>void</em> that we would have signed up for this <em>bullshit</em>!¡±

    The captain sighed. Hatchet wasn¡¯t the only one.

    He also wasn¡¯t wrong. None of them had any idea how bad Gwen would get. The crew was picked carefully. All of them were guilty of just about any crime, cruelty, or horror that one being could inflict upon another.

    They were not saints. They were fiends, all of them, the absolute best of the worst.

    They were no strangers to savagery, to horror¡­

    ¡­but there was horror, and then there was <em>horror</em>. There was natural savagery, and then there was what was happening on <em>her</em> ship, not his, hers.

    There is no way he would allow what was going on otherwise.

    ¡°Hatchet, think about it. It really isn¡¯t that bad,¡± he lied.

    ¡°Yes, it is!¡± Hatchet yelled. ¡°For one thing, why isn¡¯t <em>it</em> dead yet? It should be dead¡­ IT SHOULD BE DEAD!¡±

    ***

    <em></em>

    <em>My name is Mister Sticky</em><em>¡­ I think. That''s what the little thing calls me. </em>

    <em></em>

    <em>I like her, She''s nice. She is one of the only things that are.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>Most things don''t like me. They don''t like me one bit. They press themselves against the walls as I walk past, and they say mean </em><em>words.</em><em> They say things like I shouldn''t still be alive, that I''m unnatural</em><em>, that I¡¯m a monster.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>I don''t mind that so much. They are just things, so petty and trapped in their meager three dimensions... sorry... three plus one (as if that matte</em><em>rs)</em><em>, poor linear things. </em>

    <em></em>

    <em>I almost feel sorry for them. No, I definitely feel sorry for them. </em>

    <em></em>

    <em>They wouldn''t bother me at all,</em><em> it would just be the buzzing of so many flies, but they say bad </em><em>words about my girlfriend, too. </em>

    <em></em>

    <em>I hate them for that. Oh! I have a girlfriend! She''s wonderful. She''s pretty, oh so pretty, in three dimensions</em><em> she is beautiful, but you should see her in realspace.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>She''s breathtaking, not that you actually breathe there, but I''m getting ahead of myself.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>I do have to share her, though. That''s not exactly right. I have to share myself. It''s okay, though. My boyfriend, the friend that I share my body with, is also beautiful. And he''s kind, so very kind, and </em><em>so careful with my flesh. He gently tends and sculpts it, making me more beautiful every time we visit him</em><em>.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>Soon I will be as beautiful as they are.</em>

    ***

    Lydia ¡°Steel Peg¡± (do NOT ask how she got that name) Lark shuddered as she saw a wide crimson streak on one of the bulkheads.

    It was fresh. That meant that freak was around here somewhere.

    Suddenly, giggling echoed down the corridor, a young child¡¯s giggling. Vee, the only child on this hell barge, wasughing about something.

    Still giggling, Vee sprinted into view,rge bloody handprints on her clothes.

    Lydia quietly cursed as she ttened herself against a wall.

    She knew what wasing.

    Momentster, a horrific bloody ¡°zombie¡± shambled clumsily into view. Twisted by exposure after exposure to hyperspace, he bore no resemnce to the rotund, pig-faced being he once was.

    He bore no resemnce to anything, well, anything from this universe, anyway. His flesh hung from its body in long ragged strips, oozing blood, and the void knows what else wherever it went. Bone, or what could be bone, shone through gaps in its ever-twisting and changing flesh, especially around its head which was now no longer remotely Palg-like.

    Palgs don¡¯t have teeth like that. Then again, nothing has teeth like that.

    There, in all its horrific magnificence, was Mister Sticky, Gwen¡¯s ¡°boyfriend.¡± Vee gave it the name because he was, by all ounts, sticky. Lydia never had the dubious pleasure of finding out¡­

    ¡­but the ooze on the walls, which she had bumped into more than once, was.

    Mister Sticky groaned and shambled after Vee, his arms outstretched in a ssic zombie pose, with Vee staying just out of reach.

    They were ying zombie tag again, one of Vee¡¯s favorite games, second only to ¡°spaceships¡± with Gwen. However, Gwen was often busy, and Mister Sticky, Vee¡¯s ever-presentpanion, was¡­ ever-present, ever-avable, and always ready to y with his littlepanion.

    The shambling, clumsy movements of Mister Sticky were a lie. They were just part of the game. Lydia had, during their increasingly savage boarding actions, seen him move for <em>real</em>. He was fast, unnaturally so. Then again, unnatural was the only¡­

    Lydia shrieked as Mister Sticky bumped into her as he passed. The bastard did that on purpose. He had to have.

    And he was so very, very sticky¡­

    Cursing, Lydia stomped towards the bridge, where the captain currently was.

    This shit had to stop.

    ***

    ¡°I know, as pirates, concerning ourselves with the state of another¡¯s sheets is normally not done,¡± Stephen ¡°Professor¡± Klein said as he and a fewrades huddled around a table in the galley, ¡°but have you <em>seen</em> them? It¡¯s like she rolled around in strawberry jam.¡±

    Belinda (just Belinda. She never got a cool name for some reason) looked down at her biscuit and tossed it on the table. (Guess what was in it.)

    ¡°Fuck you in the poo hole,¡± she grumbled as Professor smirked evilly.

    ¡°But seriously,¡± he said, ¡°have you seen them?¡±

    ¡°Only when Piggy is carrying them to theundry¡­ poor thing,¡± John ¡°Burnbaby¡± Woo said.

    As if summoned by magic, a shell-shocked Vulxeen sneaked into the galley.

    If they had tails, hers would definitely be between her legs.

    It was Piggy, her real name forgotten, a Vulxeen that Gwen ¡°spared¡± during a particrly nasty pirate action. By then, everyone refused to clean up after Mister Sticky and Gwen¡¯s room after the jumps, so she needed a maid.

    Considering that her friends and family were being chained to the walls during preparations for a jump, Piggy epted.

    It was now her life, scrubbing blood and ichor from walls, floors, furniture¡­ Vee¡­

    In addition, since the crew now refused to help Gwen line her walls with the next set of victims, Piggy also helped with that¡­

    ¡­She also tended the captives that Gwen had started keeping in one of the holds, future fodder for the next jump (Gwen hated running out.) The crew also refused to assist. The poor souls dying of starvation or thirst was a far kinder fate than what otherwise awaited them.

    The horrors that poor little greypig had seen¡­ The horrors that they had <em>done</em>¡­

    ¡°Hey there,¡± Professor said gently, causing Piggy to flinch. Yeah, she was a Vulxeen, and Porkies hated her race, but poor little Piggy was an object of genuine heartfelt pity, not hatred.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Belinda said, ¡°How¡¯s it¡­¡±

    Piggy burst into tears.

    ¡°T-There are <em>children</em> down there,¡± she wept as she buried her face in her hands. ¡°Children! Gwen took kids!¡± she wailed, looking at the pirates imploringly, silently begging for their aid.

    ¡°That¡¯s why she wanted to do thatst one solo!¡± Professor snarled and leaped to his feet. ¡°That was what was in those crates! That¡¯s it! That is fucking it!¡±

    He stormed from the galley.

    ¡°Hey, where are you going?¡± Belinda called out after him with genuine concern.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to the captain!¡±

    ***

    ¡°Why kids?¡± Gwen shrugged as the captain glowered at her from the desk in his day room, ¡°Why not? Meat is meat.¡±

    Captain Marakovich looked at her in disbelief.

    ¡°Why not?¡± he snarled, ¡°Are you being serious right now?¡±

    ¡°Compared to what you assholes did back in the day?¡± Gwen replied. ¡°Come on, dude. You fuckers used to sell baby meat at a <em>premium</em> cause it was <em>tender,</em> and don¡¯t even pretend that you didn¡¯t. It¡¯s a bitte for you old raiders to be growing a conscience. You are still going to Hell.¡±

    Gwen smirked.

    ¡°We all are,¡± she added.

    The captain looked at her in disbelief.

    After the void knows how many jumps, how many <em>weeks</em> exposed to raw hyperspace, Gwen had ceased to be anything remotely human. Oh, she still looked human¡­ish. She was even still objectively pretty, beautiful even. She was just¡­ <em>alien</em>. He didn¡¯t know if it was the uncanny valley effect or maybe it was just because of what he knew, but her beauty didn¡¯t elicit admiration or even lust.

    It elicited in him exactly what it did in his crew, <em>horror</em>. Then again, they do say that Lucifer was beautiful.

    At least she kept her eyes covered with a thick visor these days. His crew said that they were ¡°ragged holes,¡± but they were even worse than that.

    Her irises were <em>gone,</em> lost to hyperspace, and the pupil''s edges, if you could even call it that, were eating away the white in delicate fractal patterns of the darkest dark he had ever seen. Thank the void that this made her very light-sensitive. If she didn¡¯t wear that visor, the crew really would mutiny¡­

    ¡­not that it wasn¡¯t a distinct possibility anyway. The thought of her ¡°dragging¡± kids was thest straw. They were ready to kill her¡­

    ¡­or at least try. While the crew was confident they could, the captain wasn¡¯t. Gwen was near unstoppable, and her cheerleaders? Jesus Christ. Where did Gwen find them? The only one of Gwen¡¯s crew that was remotely normal was their techie, Susan.

    Why was such a nice and wholesome, pretty girl in with those monsters?

    ¡°That was then, and this is now,¡± he replied as he forced his thoughts to return to the matter at hand. ¡°And now there is no way the crew will stand for this. Hell, Gwen, they are one step from spacing us both, Jessica be damned!¡±

    ¡°Fiiine,¡± Gwen said as she mock-pouted, ¡°But they are going to have to feed them, water them, and walk them. And <em>you</em> need to find me more prey. I don¡¯t like my walls empty. They don¡¯t like it, either.¡±

    ¡°Who is ¡®they¡¯?¡±

    ¡°Keep the meating, and you won¡¯t have to find out,¡± Gwen smirked.

    ¡°Is that supposed to be a threat?¡± the captain snarled.

    Gwen smiled widely, too widely.

    The captain stared. What was going on with her mouth? For one fraction of a second, it looked¡­ bigger?

    She stood up with fluid grace.

    ¡°I¡¯ve agreed not to drag the kids,¡± Gwen replied. ¡°Is there anything else you want to bitch about, or are we done?¡±

    ¡°Almost,¡± Captain Marakovich replied. ¡°The crew areining about your ¡®boyfriend¡¯. How long is that thing going to live?¡±

    ¡°I honestly have no idea,¡± Gwen sighed, ¡°But that¡¯s the thing about love. You don¡¯t worry about how long it willst. You just embrace it while it¡¯s here.¡±

    The captain shuddered. What the hell did he have on his ship? If this was the ¡°future of humanity,¡± he wanted no part of it.

    Maybe he <em>should</em> space her.

    ¡°Well, if you do love that thing, keep it away from my crew. They are this close to killing it themselves.¡±

    ¡°The one who does reces him,¡± she smiled. ¡°We done?¡±

    ¡°For now,¡± the captain snarled.

    ¡°Geez, your crew are pussies,¡± Gwen muttered as she left his office.

    A few moments after she left, he pressed hismunicator.

    ¡°Captain?¡±

    ¡°Get me a line to the Devil.¡±

    ¡°About fucking time, sir.¡±

    ***

    Susan looked in the mirror of her cabin and, for the thousandth time, tried to fight back tears. She was the only one of "Gwen''s girls" who <em>wasn''t</em> part of the cheer team at her old high school.

    She was one of the "nerds," not a derogatory term, at least at her school. She was known for her brain, particrly her technical ability, and not her beauty and grace.

    There was nothing "wrong" with her, not really, she wasn''t fat, built strangely, or had an ugly face.

    It wasn''t that she was ugly.

    She just wasn''t <em>anything</em>.

    She even used to be considered cute, the prettiest girl in the roboticsb. It''s just that,pared to the others, she was hideous, at least in her own mind. They were all so pretty, so graceful, so...

    ¡­so not her.

    All the pirates would stare at them with raw, naked lust, not like they would actually do anything. They were <em>Gwen''s</em>, and nobody on that ship dared cross her.

    It wasn''t that she was overlooked, either. She drew many appraising looks, especially as the mission went longer and longer without a visit to a "friendly" port.

    If anything, she got more actual attention. The others were <em>too</em> pretty, too perfect.

    She was "normal" enough that a pirate thought they stood a chance.

    They thought they had a chance with her. Some even made enthusiastic, if cautious, approaches. (She <em>was</em> still one of Gwen¡¯s after all.) Some of them were quite handsome...

    ...if you were into guys, that is.

    If she could only just be "normal," she would be in heaven with her pick of the "cream of the scum.¡±

    But was she? Of course not.

    That just made everything <em>worse</em>. None of the pirate women were "that way," and the other of Gwen''s girls weren''t, except for two who were in a rtionship and weren''t interested in including a third, especially one as nd as she was...

    ...or she supposed, anyway. There was no way she had the nerve to approach them.

    Besides, her eye, and heart, were firmly affixed to someone else, someone who was as perfect as she wasn''t.

    Susan brushed her hair, inexpertly smeared on some lip gloss, grabbed her tablet, and, taking a deep breath, rushed out into the corridor.

    "I-I have that report you wanted, Gwen," Susan said adoringly as she timidly approached divine perfection.

    "Thanks, nerd," Gwen said cheerfully as she turned her visored face to regard her, making her heart skip a beat.

    Gwen had taken to wearing heavy dark shades thatpletely obscured her vision and, unfortunately, her eyes.

    People said that they were "ragged holes" or that it was like looking into hyperspace itself. (As if they would know.)

    Susan thought they were beautiful. She could look into those eyes forever. She wanted to look into those eyes forever. She would do anything to look into those eyes forever...

    ¡­a<em>nything</em>.

    She stood there gazing up at Gwen just like a puppy would as she watched the object of her adoration carefully read the report, her offering to her goddess, praying that she would take off the visor and let her steal a peek at her beautiful, perfect eyes.

    "I have a question," Susan said hesitantly, breathless, as she tried to keep her mind together.

    Gwen had that effect on a lot of people, most people, actually.

    But they didn''t have it for the reason Susan did.

    "Yeah?" Gwen replied absently as she continued to study the document.

    "W-why did you ask <em>me</em> to do it?" Susan asked, "Why didn''t you ask the actual engineer?"

    Gwen smiled and lowered her visor, looking directly into Susan''s adoring eyes.

    Susan''s breath froze as she stared into Gwen''spletely iris-free eyes with the beautiful delicate fractal edges as the most beautiful perfect ck slowly nibbled away the useless sclera.

    It was the most beautiful thing Susan had ever seen, the perfect ck and the "things" that could be seen in it.

    "Because You are <em>my</em> nerd, not the captain¡¯s," Gwen said, making Susan''s heart skip a beat in her chest.

    <em>My nerd,</em> she thought. <em>She said that I was hers!</em>

    "...and I don''t need the king of dorks finding out about this," she said, so keep it to yourself, okay?

    "Yes, Gwen!" Susan enthused, "Anything for you!"

    <em>Anything¡­</em>

    <em></em>

    ***

    <em>Hyperspace atst! I am finally with my boyfriend! I love it when he is inside me. I love the searing kiss of true reality. I love my girlfriend. I love her so much.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>I am truly happy. I am content. I am whole¡­</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>¡­I am loved.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>She is talking to the others. They must resort to using dolls instead of flesh. They are so jealous!</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>They want flesh too.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>"Sorry guys," Gwen said, "looks like kids are off the table, at least for now. Captain Dork lost his shit when he found them.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em></em>

    <em>¡°BuT tHe QuEstIon oF thEir inCreAsed resPonsiVeness to chAngEs... We wErE prOmisEd...¡±</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>"Yeah, well, you''re going to have to wait," Gwen told the small figurine, who would be pouting if it was an option. "Buuutttt¡­." She grinned, "There is going to be an interesting batch of fleshiesing up very soon and my ship is going to¡­ be more amodating. If you aren''t set on a kid, then meat will be on the menu. If you want to wait on a kid, there will be a dy... but it¡¯s not off the table... (heh) literally."</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>There was some grumbling among the ... beings? but they seemed mostly okay.</em>

    <em></em>

    <em>"Alright! That''s enough business. Let''s party!"</em>

    ***

    Susan watched as Gwen glided past, seeming to only be partially in this world.

    It physically hurt to look at her. She loved her so much, and Gwen... Gwen barely noticed her existence.

    She loved Gwen so much but hated being in her presence sometimes. Looking at Gwen made her feel small, t...

    ¡­<em>obsolete</em>.

    It was strange, but obsolete was the best word for what she felt. It was like she was yesterday''s news. No. It wasn''t just her.

    Next to Gwen, <em>everybody</em> was yesterday''s news.

    It wasn''t just her, <em>nobody</em> was worthy, fit to even look at her.

    "Raaruh."

    "Sweetie!" Gwen gushed as Mister Sticky shambled up, wrapping her arms around him in a loving, if messy, embrace,

    "Rrrrrr," Mister Sticky rumbled.

    "You are so sweet!" Gwen said and then gave him a little lick, "and tasty!"

    "Glurr..."

    "Oh, you are so bad!" Gwen squealed, "And you are just going to have to wait. We aren''t jumping for another two days."

    As Gwen and Sticky walked, hand in hand, down the hall, Susan''s heart broke a little. Then, she lit up.

    It wasn''t that nobody was fit to be near her. There was one who did.

    She couldn''t be like Gwen. But she <em>could</em> make herself worthy.

    Why hadn¡¯t she thought of it before?

    It was so simple!

    ***

    Gwen and Sticky were cuddling in herfortingly dimly lit room when there was a knock on the door.

    "Yeah?" Gwen asked, her voice conveyed by the door speaker.

    "G-gwen," Susan asked, "Can Ie in?"

    "It''s unlocked," Gwen said.

    As the door opened, Gwen reached for her visor.

    "No!" Susan eximed.

    Gwen cocked her head at Susan curiously.

    "I... I like your eyes," Susan said shyly.

    "Okay, " Gwen shrugged and looked at her with eyes that were somehow more visible in the dim light. "What''s up?"

    "I want..." Gwen said and then trailed off.

    "You want what?" Gwen replied with a chuckle. "It better not be a pony. We just ate thest one."

    "IwanttobelikeSticky!"

    "Say what now?"

    "I want to be¡­" Susan said with closed eyes and clenched fists, "I want to be like Mister Sticky. I want to... to..."

    She looked down.

    "I want to be like you."

    "I never thought I''d say this," Gwen said, "but you are even crazier than I am! Woo!"

    Susan giggled. Gwen hadn''t wooed in a long time. It made her feel warm inside.

    "And crazy is exactly the right word," Gwen continued. "You have NO idea what you are asking. When people say it''s the worst thing that can happen to you, they aren''t kidding¡­ Are they, Sticky?"

    "No. Ow," Sticky said with surprising rity.

    "He really likes it now, but getting there hurt, and look at him. I think he''s beautiful, but I''m the only one."

    <em>She thinks he''s beautiful!</em>

    "You are the only one I care about, ever cared about! If I can be beautiful to you I..."

    "Nerd," Gwen said gently, "Susan, look. I''m thest person to y therapist. I mean the veryst. It''s cool that you like me and all..."

    "Love you! I love you!" Susan blurted.

    "Okay, love me. That is <em>awesome</em>."

    "It is?!?"

    "You are barking up the wrong psycho, but yeah. But even if I was gay, even if I was in love with you too, even the biggest love there is not worth getting dragged through hyperspace. You aren''t going to turn out like me. You are going to turn out like Sticky. That will be great for me, and Sticky would love a new friend..."

    "Rrrrrr!"

    "But you will be FRIED. It''s not like you are going to go away. You will still be in there. You will be in there every single time. You will be in there as your body twists, melts, breaks, and it all happens again. I didn¡¯t'' do it to Sticky because he was my friend. I did it because he killed my gram gram. I like you."

    "You do?!?"

    "Not that way, but yeah. You¡¯re my nerd..."

    Gwen paused and looked at her appraisingly.

    "But I won''t stop you if you show up before a jump. If you want to be strapped to the bed..."

    <em>Giggle</em>.

    ¡°Not that way! Jesus!" Gwenughed, "But you are definitely going to be strapped down for the first couple of runs. I can hook you up with... I can hook you up with something that means that you won''t die right away. You will be a sticky. I don¡¯t know how long a sticky will live, though. I don¡¯t even know if stickies will even be remotely alike. You could die from this. You <em>will</em> worse than die from this."

    "I''m rolling with Gwen on a pirate ship. I could die, anyway.¡±

    Gwen smiled.

    "Well, okay then. Think about it. Really think about it because there is no turning back. I¡¯ll drag you if you want, but you should really get some therapy or whatever instead."

    "I will, Gwen."

    ***

    Two dayster, Gwen and Mister Sticky were setting out a row of dolls, plush toys, figurines, and the like on the floor in what appeared to be some sort of obscene, ult tea party.

    There was a timid knock at the door.

    ¡°Rur. Garrrur (gurgle).¡±

    ¡°I dunno, Sticky,¡± Gwen smiled, ¡°I still think setting up Gram Gram was dumber.¡±

    She turned towards the door.

    ¡°Come in!¡± she called out in a clear voice.

    The door opened.

    It was Susan.

    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯ve thought about it, really thought about it,¡± Susan said, ¡°And I want it.¡±

    ¡°Look,¡± Gwen said, ¡°If you are just doing this for me, I will be happy to¡­ you know¡­ I¡¯m not that way, not really, but I¡¯ve eaten worse.¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Susan said. ¡°That¡¯s what I thought about. I don¡¯t want it for you. I want it for me.¡±

    ¡°Wha?¡± Gwen said, looking at Susan like she had gone mad, which she arguably had.

    ¡°I¡¯ve always hated myself,¡± Susan said. ¡°I¡¯ve always felt like part of me was¡­ missing? Does that make any sense?¡±

    ¡°More than a little bit,¡± Gwen said, ¡°But have you thought about, I don¡¯t know, a hobby or something?¡±

    ¡°Something ising, Gwen,¡± Susan said, ¡°And you know it. I want in! I hate being t, empty¡­ <em>obsolete</em>. I want this! I can¡¯t think of anything else!¡±

    ¡°Take a long look at Sticky.¡±

    ¡°Rur!¡± he said brightly.

    ¡°You still want in?¡±

    Susan nodded.

    ¡°Oooookay,¡± Gwen said. ¡°Come on, Sticks, let¡¯s break out the straps.¡±

    ***

    <em>All hands, prepare for jump</em>.

    Gwen and Mister sticky looked down at a bundle of nkets and straps with Susan tightly swaddled inside.

    ¡°Anything else you can think of, Sticky?¡± Gwen asked.

    ¡°Rarrr.¡±

    ¡°Got it right here,¡± Gwen said brightly and produced a freshly made mouthguard.

    She looked down at Susan and smiled.

    ¡°Open wide.¡±

    Susan did and Gwen put it in her mouth.

    ¡°Last chance, to stay a nerd, nerd,¡± Gwenughed.

    <em>Three, two, one¡­ JUMP!</em>

    <em></em>

    The ship lurched in a distinctive way as it breached the veil between worlds.

    ¡°Ready, Ner¡­¡± Gwen paused. ¡°Ready, Susan?¡±

    Susan nodded.

    ¡°Don¡¯t say I didn¡¯t warn you,¡± Gwen said as she walked over to her chamber¡¯s shield controls.

    ¡°Super duperst chance,¡± Gwen said. ¡°After this, it¡¯s forever¡­ literally. Nod if you want me to do this.¡±

    Susan nodded.

    ¡°Okay,¡± Gwen flipped the switch.

    Susan screamed as the shield that was the only thing between them and a world in which they did NOT belong fell.

    ¡°Heeeeeyyyyy,¡± Gwen¡¯s voice said as if being yed slowly, ¡°Yooouuuuu ooookkaaayyy?¡±

    As impossible flooded her senses, Susan saw Gwen¡¯s beautiful face, her real one.

    Lost in the formless and timeless void, she stopped screaming as she finally achieved the one thing she wanted more than anything else.

    She was able to look into Gwen¡¯s beautiful eyes¡­

    ¡­<em>forever</em>.

 Chapter Breaking Point

    Chapter Breaking Point

    Adrift in the timeless and formless multidimensional nothing and everything, Gwen, Sticky, and the doll menagerie regarded Susan with interest and mild amusement.

    "AnD shE undErtOOk ThIs vOlUntArIly?" One of the dolls said incredulously.

    "Yep."

    "ThAt MAkEs AbsOlUtEly nO sEnsE."

    "That''s the thing about my kind," Gwen smiled, "We do not feel the need to be constrained by such petty concerns."

    She paused.

    "That might be why I can do this in the first ce."

    "WE hAd nOt COnsIdErEd thAt. As AlwAys yOU nEvEr cEAsE to AmAzE and AmUsE."

    A glowing "wave" washed over the curious gathering, causing Susan to heave and resume screaming, a new favorite pastime of hers.

    Something went ¡°squelch¡±.

    "So,¡± Gwen said, "Miss Ducky, do you want to be Susan?"

    A small plush duck''s eyes shed... well, they did something anyway...

    ...and it nodded its ducky little head.

    ***

    Jessica looked at the carnage disyed on one of her OLED screens and winced.

    She had seen this before, but never quite this bad.

    "I-I''m sorry, Ma''am," the white-coated doctor wailed. "The attendants thought..."

    "I understand, Doctor," Jessica sighed wearily.

    "You...You do?"

    "These people can be... They can be..."

    Jessica trailed off, at a loss for the right word for once.

    "They can be... difficult, challenging even."

    "Difficult?!? Challenging?!? It <em>killed</em>..."

    "Would you rather another term?" Jessica asked with a raised eyebrow, "One that would imply you were culpable?"

    "They... They can be quite challenging," the doctor said cautiously.

    "That they can be," Jessica agreed, "As challenging and... costly as this project can be, one has to agree that it is for the best, most noble, perhaps even most holy of causes."

    "It was," the doctor said. "I just wish..."

    "What do you mean was?" Jessica smiled evilly. "The project is still active."

    "You mean there''s more of them?!?" the doctor gasped in horror.

    "Just one," Jessica said, "But she is a miracle, fully functional... well... functional for one of them."

    The doctor made a strangled gasp as his vision started to fade around the edges. It wasn''t over. It wasn''t over. It wasn''t over...

    The doctor remained silent as he started to tremble slightly. He thought it was over. He thought that the hell was over. It was supposed to be over. It wasn''t over! It wasn''t over! It wasn''t over...

    ...It wasn''t over.

    "...and naturally, as one of the most experienced researchers concerning this phenomenon..."

    "No!" the doctor yelled, "No! I can''t... I won''t do this anymore. You don''t understand, ma''am, you don''t understand what they are like, what it is like being with them I..."

    "You are correct, Doctor," Jessica said as she sipped her tea. "I do not know. I do not understand. However, you <em>do</em>."

    "I can''t do this anymore! I¡­ I <em>won¡¯t</em>!"

    "Oh, you ''can''t do this anymore''?" Jessica asked with a sickeningly overly sweet voice, "Well, why didn''t you say so? If it is so unpleasant, then of course you can quit."

    "I... I can?" the doctor asked with hisst remaining shred of hope.

    "Of course, you can, and while you are packing up, tell all the soldiers protecting your facility that they can go home too," Jessica snarled. ¡°Then, tell the pilots and crew of the homestead ships <em>with family still trapped in the hot zones</em> that if they can¡¯t do it anymore, they can go and grab them and dump their passengers instead. Tell the researchers that go into those same zones every single day risking their lives surrounded with pestilence and death that if they are ufortable or a little scared that they can quit¡­¡±

    She red at the doctor, who wilted remotely under her gaze.

    "You are a youngster," Jessica said with mock reassurance, "so you might not know. Are you familiar with the term, a waste of food?"

    The doctor made a little strangling noise.

    "Are you?" Jessica asked pleasantly, "Are you a waste of food?"

    "No!" the doctor yelped. "I''m not! I''m worth my ration! I swear I am!" he added desperately.

    "Then pour a cup, eat that ration, and get back to fucking work, <em>Doctor</em>."

    "Yes, Ma''am!"

    "Good man," Jessica said as she took another sip.

    "Thank you!"

    "Oh, and doctor?"

    "Yes, ma''am?"

    "Whine like a little bitch one more time, and I will turn you into one. Do I make myself clear?"

    "Yes, Ma''am."

    "Good. Files for your new subject are inbound. Her name is Gwen Shay."

    "Gwen... Shay?"

    "The younger and much-improved version of the original. It''s her great-granddaughter. All of the original savagery plus a void gazer to boot."

    "I... I see..."

    "And pack your duffel. We are going to be rotating out some of the crew and will embed you on board at the same time. It turns out that some of her crew ''can''t do it anymore'' as well. Pity. I once valued them highly."

    Jessica took a sip.

    "No matter, I''m sure they will earn their ration one way or another..."

    "Yes, ma''am."

    "Unlike them," Jessica said, "You won''t let me down, will you."

    "No, ma''am. I won''t let you down."

    "Review those files," Jessica said, "I will be in touch soon."

    As the line went dead, Doctor Carl Thornton, in a corridor streaked with blood and littered with parts of people he called his friends, fell to his knees, and wept.

    A beep from hismunicator informed him that he had a new email.

    ***

    "Ratchet," the ship¡¯s engineer, hesitantly approached Kara, one of the ¡°Barbies" as they were called behind their backs by the crew.

    "Excuse me, um... Kara, right?"

    "That''s me!" she said brightly, looking up from the sensor screen she was manning.

    "Have you seen Little Bitz?"

    "Who?"

    "Susan, you know, your techie?"

    "Wait!" Belinda called from the captain''s chair where she stood watch, "Susan has a cool pirate name and I don¡¯t?"

    "Are your Bitz little?" Ratchet asked.

    "Excuse me?!?"

    "And the fact that you think Bitz are ¡®bits¡¯ is why you''re Belinda... That and Belinda IS your pirate name."

    "It is?"

    "God, you are such a Belinda sometimes," Ratchet snorted, smiling.

    He turned back to Kara, still smiling, as Belinda flipped off the back of his bald head.

    "So, Little Bitz?"

    His smile fell as he saw her expression.

    "What?"

    ¡°Well, dude,¡± Kara said, ¡°It¡¯s like this¡­¡±

    ***

    Captain Marakovich closed the door to his cabin and locked it.

    For the first time in decades, he didn¡¯t do this just for privacy.

    The crew was ready to mutiny. And, to be perfectly honest, so was he. Dragging Susan was thest straw.

    Why did it have to be <em>her</em>, of all people. Why did that¡­ that monster¡­ have to drag the one nice, one good, one wholesome thing that both he and many of his crew had in their lives for oh so very long?

    He closed his eyes, trying to forget the screams, Susan¡¯s screams, when he, through the safety of the inte, demanded to know if what Gwen¡¯s little trollops were saying was true, that Susan was in there with her.

    Susan¡¯s screams and Gwen¡¯sughter were the only reply.

    God¡­ Those <em>screams</em>¡­ They just wouldn¡¯t stop. Even now, he could hear them in some undefinable way. Even worse, they summoned every scream buried in his long and evil memory, the loudest not from victims but from the people whose screams had made him what he was today, irredeemably and hopelessly lost.

    This ends <em>now, </em>whether he wanted it to or not. His crew was <em>done</em>. He wasn¡¯t sure that they wouldn¡¯t attack the moment Gwen wasn¡¯t protected by the boiling void that seemed to love only her.

    He had been chosen for this because he had ¡°experience in dealing with this before.¡±

    He thought he did. He was wrong. He was so very wrong. His great-grandchildren were nothing like Gwen. They were more feral and less rational, certainly.

    But they weren¡¯t <em>evil</em>. They weren¡¯t cruel. They did what they did because they couldn¡¯t help themselves.

    Gwen wasn¡¯t insane. That¡¯s the worst thing about her.

    She didn¡¯t do the things she did because she was crazy. She did them because she <em>wanted to</em>.

    As he opened a heavy steel locker in his cabin and pulled out a short-barreled electron carbine, perfect for shipboardbat, he froze as he had an epiphany.

    His beloved great-grandchildren killed themselves not because they were insane.

    They did so in order to prevent bing <em>her</em>!

    Captain Marakovich nodded silently and grimly. That was why. It all made so much sense. Finally, he could understand. And, just like his descendants, he, too, would make a sacrifice, both to honor them and to protect humanity itself. It wouldn¡¯t save his soul. Nothing could do that now.

    But maybe, just maybe, he could do one good thing before he died.

    He then poured himself a generous portion of (ugh) Terran whiskey. He hated to admit it, but they did make better whiskey than his people by far.

    There was simply noparison. The Terrans had the right wood for real barrels. Ultrasound and smuggled sawdust just didn¡¯t cut it.

    He calmly sat at his desk and pulled up the ship¡¯s management screens.

    He downed the whiskey and refilled his ss.

    He pulled up the captain¡¯s page. On it was an iconbeled ¡°Self-Destruct.¡±

    Wait. Not yet. He wanted his and his crew¡¯s remains to be spread across <em>his</em> void, the one he prayed to, not cast adrift in hyperspace. He wasn¡¯t a religious man, not anymore. However, if a soul existed, he wouldn¡¯t condemn his crew to having theirs dumped here.

    <em>Vee!</em>

    That¡¯s right, there was Vee to consider as well. She was just a kid, a true innocent trapped on this doomed ship. They would hand her and her brother off at the uing rendezvous. Only after she was safe could he do what had to happen.

    It sucked for the new crew, but he had seen their records.

    All of them deserved to die the same as he did.

    As he closed the screen and poured himself another drink, there was a knock at the door.

    Yesterday, he would have just answered it without a care. Today, he activated the door camera.

    It was Bloody Arrisa. Originally, she was the ck Angel henchman sent by the <em>real</em> Gwen Shay to represent Angel business and protect her great-granddaughter. Now that the ck Angels had been scattered across the void, she was a valued member of his crew¡­

    ¡­<em>very</em> valued.

    He remotely opened the door and then closed and locked it the second she was inside, all from his desk.

    ¡°Helluva day, huh?¡± Arissa said as she filled her own ss and plopped down onto his bed, their bed most nights.

    ¡°That it is,¡± Captain Marakovich said with a sigh.

    ¡°Baby Shay¡­¡± Arissa said grimly.

    She took a drink and sat quietly for a moment.

    The captain let her.

    ¡°¡­We have to kill her,¡± she said, ¡°the <em>second</em> Vee is off this barge, we put that monster <em>down</em>. If we can¡¯t, then we blow the ship, fuck, we drive it into a <em>star</em> if we have to.¡±

    ¡°We drive it into a star to begin with,¡± the captain replied. ¡°Rather go out quick than spend the rest of my life hiding from Jessica and thest of it enjoying whatever she does when she catches us.¡±

    Bloody Arissa knocked her drink back and nodded.

    ¡°Only way to be sure. When Vee is safe, we take a dive.¡±

    She grabbed the bottle and poured them both another.

    ¡°Only way to be sure,¡± the captain agreed.

    He couldn¡¯t do this anymore. Very soon, he wouldn¡¯t have to.

    For the first time since this void-cursed mission started, he felt at peace.

 Chapter Premium Organic Bespoke Hand Crafted Sh*tpost

    Chapter Premium Organic Bespoke Hand Crafted Sh*tpost

    Seenit!

    Touch the dumpster fire! Touch it. You know you want to.

    Group: Definitely Human

    No filthy xenos here, just uspletely normal humans.

    ***

    <em>User PoofNoPlumage</em>

    Can you eat rocket candy? I kind of want to eat it. I really want to eat it.

    <em>User PommegraniteSparkle [Actual Human]</em>

    No! Why would you even think that?

    <em>User HumanJohnDoe</em>

    We do. It¡¯s really good!

    <em>User Dumbledore¡¯sBottomBitch</em>

    We do, too! It¡¯s bing a problem. Our stock keeps disappearing and people¡¯s kitchens are catching on fire.

    ***

    <em>User BipedsLookWeird</em>

    Why does everyone like open-bolt SMG''s?

    <em>User HonestHumanShipTrader</em>

    They are cheap and easy, just like your maternal parent! (Am I doing this right?)

    <em>User CatHerder99 [Moderator]</em>

    Close enough! Good job!

    ***

    <em>User RoundAndSexy</em>

    AR vs AK, which is better [removed by moderator]

    Moderator note: Guys we have covered this. No! Bad users! Bad! Stop it.

    ***

    <em>User MoreEyesAreBetter</em>

    Rule 34: W...T...F... Why, just why?

    <em>User FuzzyBunnyPMmeYourHumanPPPls</em>

    Oh, your poor inbox¡­ Send me the good ones!

    ***

    <em>User BigTittiedGothGF</em>

    TIFU by not keeping the reaction mixture cold.

    Does anyone know a ce where you can get quality prostheses made discreetly? Asking for a friend, a very stupid friend with no primary digits, and can¡¯t go to the medical center for obvious reasons.

    <em>User DragonsForLife</em>

    PM me.

    <em>User GreyGhost</em>

    Or, if you want actual quality products that will pass for natural, PM us.

    <em>User DragonsForLife</em>

    Or if you want some badass chrome with upgrades, PM us.

    <em>User GreyGhost</em>

    Only if you want some w that was fashioned from starship parts.

    [Thread continues.]

    ***

    <em>User asionalCriminal</em>

    Gutters vs TNT which is better?

    <em>User Iamnotafly</em>

    Def TNT if you can get it (or make it), but gutters is cheap and easy, you know, like your mom.

    <em>User Overki11z9090 [certified human]</em>

    Both are¡­ alright¡­ but check the tome of boom we Terrans have released. It¡¯s much better than that porkie shit.

    <em>User Gutt3rG1rl [Porkie Trash]</em>

    Oh, the tome is wonderful¡­ if you have a robofac, a chem-matrix, and a full set ofb ss AND what is basically a chemistry degree in most Federation systems. If all you have is three two-liter stic bottles and a mop bucket, then gutters is the safest bet. Yes, it is low yield as opposed to your nightmare fuel, but it is easy and cheap¡­ Like your mom. It is also safe, something that your mother is not. She nasty!

    <em>User Overki11z9090 [certified human]</em>

    So what did your mom/grandma/ggrandma do during the Sol Wars, bitch?

    <em>User Gutt3rG1rl [Porkie Trash]</em>

    [Removed]

    [Mod note: Well, we did ask¡­]

    <em>User FluttershineBestPony1111stilltakenwtf</em>

    This is a human ¡®colorful expression¡¯ or cultural reference of which I am unaware, right?... Right? Please say it is.

    <em>User Overki11z9090 [certified human]</em>

    Nope.

    ***

    <em>User InnocentLittleHarmlessFluff</em>

    Does anyone know where a human can get Z''uush sani-clear?

    <em>User DiggyDiggyHolesper</em>

    The new stuff or the old stuff?

    <em>User InnocentLittleHarmlessFluff</em>

    The new magic shit.

    <em>UserDiggyDiggyHolesper</em>

    Unless you are a Z¡¯uush merc and one of the *right* mercs, forget it. Even we can¡¯t get that stuff. Now the old form is on the if you know where to look. PM me if you don¡¯t

    ***

    <em>User SnuggleSmuggler</em>

    Human barbecue methods on animal proteins of others? Help pls.

    <em>User Gutt3rG1rl [Porkie Trash]</em>

    Two rules: Low and Slow. Low temperature over a long period of time, preferably over a traditional fuel, but thermal elements can be used with no problem. You can also use thermal elements and then add a little natural fuel to scent/vor the meat if that is a thing for your people.

    This works on just about any meat¡­ any meat ??

    <em>User OGFisto [Confirmed OG]</em>

    Sounds delicious. Why don¡¯t youe over here? We can have a cookout <>

    <em>User ScavverUwU [Scavver!]</em>

    Ooo! Can Ie?

    <em>User OGFisto [Confirmed OG]</em>

    LMAO! You know what? If you are on Terra, I would love to have you and some of your scavver friends over for a cookout. PM me.

    ***

    <em>User YouLookFunnyToUsAsWell</em>

    How do you get sardines on the other side of the blockade? They sound yummy.

    <em>User MistakesWereMade [Porkie Trash]</em>

    Actual Terran Oceanic Sardines? Good luck, and if you do find them, sell them to a porkie and retire! LOL. You used to be able to get some nice smoked fingertrout, a native Raylesh species that humans could eat. They are the closest to actual sardines, but they are, obviously, getting hard to get and something else that you can sell to porkies. The Flink have some lovely tinned proteins that are very sardine like as do the Bex. I rmend Bexian tu¡¯kal. It¡¯s pricy on the grey market, but it¡¯s actual meat.

    ***

    <em>User SmexyFlumph</em>

    PSA Bixburgers are disgusting!

    I was so excited when I got to Sol to try the Bixburger of story and song. I literally flumphed at a full flump to the closest kiosk and was literally trembling with excitement as I made my order for a real honest to creator¡¯s grace Bixburger¡­

    ¡­Prepared for heaven itself, I was as I reverently lowered it into my crop whole and pristine.

    As I rolled my gemstones against that ¡°delicacy,¡± I knew I had erred. Oh, why didn¡¯t I try a small portion first?

    It was as if my long-deceased great-great-great-grandfathermitted a greasy and foul indiscretion, not only viting my mouth but my very soul.

    It was¡­ Indescribably bad. My race has no word foul enough to convey the disgust, so I will fall back upon anguage we all share. It was fucking disgusting.

    Needless to say, I disgorged it, along with some very nice gems all over the starport ting. Fortunately, some very kind humans helped me retrieve my stones, some of which have very real sentimental value. Their kindness was as warm as their food is foul.

    I suffered no ill effects. That is to say, I did not require medical treatment. But I can still taste it. I fear that the taste and odor will haunt me until the end of my life and perhaps follow me to the next.

    I know we are ¡°all humans¡± here, but if you are a Mu-Sera(vt), do NOT partake of the Bixburger, no matter how delicious (and widely digestible) it is reported to be.

    Not unless the thought of a long-departed ancestor rising from the grave and fertilizing your mouth appeals.

    <em>User HarpyBritches [Certified Human]</em>

    Thank God I was already on the toilet because I pissed myselfughing.

    <em>User YabaDabaDon¡¯t [Certified Human]</em>

    Titan Orbital? I saw something weird shoot a whole bag of marbles across the floor.

    <em>User SmexyFlumph</em>

    Yes, to my eternal shame, that was me. Were you one of the kind souls that helped me retrieve my gemstones?

    <em>User YabaDabaDon¡¯t [Certified Human]</em>

    There was already a crowd. More hands would not have helped, and five people were already getting you water.

    BTW I¡¯m feeling you, dude. Food scanners will only tell you if it will poison you, but they will lie about the taste. I had a very simr experience involving Gertal pepper stew. I think your deceased forebearer paid me a visit, too. What is it with your forebearers and mouths, anyway?

    <em>User SmexyFlumph</em>

    It may get me banned from the holy catbs, but I fully intend to demand an answer to that very question!

    <em>User MethaneSoup</em>

    Smexy, you still on Titan1?

    <em>User SmexyFlumph</em>

    Sadly, no, we are already en route to Koh-Rashal. I was in Blessed Sol only long enough to spill my stones and load a tanker full of your namesake. I was so ill that I couldn¡¯t even go to a Terran firearms boutique. (But I will be heading back through in a few months. I¡¯m going to get a ssic revolver chambered in .45 long colt!)

    ***

    <em>User twormsAreSexy</em>

    Hello fellow humans! Looking for advice on adapting surplus AK''s for my nonhuman friends, especially ones with tentacles.

    <em>User BaskInHerDivinePresenceBask</em>

    Big beautiful meaty real tentacles or those wibbly little tendrils?

    <em>User twormsAreSexy</em>

    Both. My ¡°friends¡± have little tendrils extending fromrge flexible ¡°limbs¡±.

    <em>User BaskInHerDivinePresenceBask</em>

    If the main tentacle is the one taking the recoil, then perhaps looking at Imperial-designed firearms may be of help. I won¡¯t mention the gun that shall not be named in this forum (Rule 8), but it was designed to be both easily adapted to other races AND was originally designed to be used by a properly designed lifeform.

    [Mod warning: Hey, asshole, calling the Harbinger ¡°Rule 8¡± is exactly the same thing as using the actual name. Besides, you can mention the Harbinger if it is a valid solution, like for a tentacled friend, and aren¡¯t just picking a fight¡­ asshole.]

    ***

    <em>User FappingWithFriends</em>

    Rule 34 request. Details in post. [NSFW, NSFL]

    [Mod Comment: Jesus has left the building. You are *foul*. (PM me the results)]

    ***

    <em>User LeafEatingFormerAborealBiped</em>

    Buying Crypto with Federation credits HELP!

    <em>User NotALoanShark</em>

    Perhaps I can be of assistance. PM me at your earliest convenience.

    ***

    <em>User ItsJustForResearchIPromis</em>

    Molotov cocktails. What is gasolene, and where do I get some?

    <em>User OGFisto[Confirmed OG]</em>

    Reading the Porkie Tablet, huh? Both gasoline and diesel were once verymon petrochemical fuels used in internalbustion engines from the neenth to twenty first centuries. (Don¡¯t hold me to the start date.) They used to be widely avable, even in areas that were tightly controlled/upied. This made them ideal for improvised weapons. Now, you may be able to find a suitable lubricant that could be thinned to create something simr, but unless you have a ready supply of source material, likely much more trouble than it¡¯s worth.

    <em>User ItsJustForResearchIPromis</em>

    Aww, too bad. ? It sounded fun. Oh well.

    ***

    <em>User WeHangByOurPeens</em>

    Help! How do I find lead?

    <em>User ProfDirt [Confirmed Human]</em>

    That¡¯s a tricky one. It is rarely used in modern electronics or industry due to its toxicity. Without knowing details about your you may not wish to share, I can offer little advice aside from looking at old pre-contact items. You might get lucky. While there is some simrity between alls, each has a different enough geology that it makes specific advice impossible. I rmend hitting the history books. Lead tends to be used very early on in most technology trees. I bet you guys used to mine and refine it. There are likely even abandoned mines with ore still in them.

    Good hunting!

    ***

    <em>User ImConfus</em>

    Rill rifle technology vs Terran?

    Hey fellow humans. I¡¯m seeing a lot of Rill based firearms showing up on the ck and grey markets as well as Rill designs AND jailbreaked autofac temtes floating around.

    Are they any good and if so, are they a good alternative to Terran based designs?

    [Moderatorment: Oh this gonna get good¡­ OP, you have no idea what you have started. Your inbox is fuuuuuked!]

    15kments [click to view]

    ***

    Advertisement: Novux ghost gun factories. No muss no fuss no records.

    NEW!!! No long termmitments. Pay as you go!

    ***

    <em>User ImaboutToGoCrazy</em>

    Making minifac. Help pls. My brains hurt.

    <em>User GrumpyOldC00t [Confirmed Human</em>]

    Step one. RTFM. Step two. Repeat step one.

    <em>User TooManyLegsNotEnoughFeet</em>

    Grumpy! You¡¯re back! Is your butt feeling better?

    <em>User GrumpyOldC00t</em>

    It. Was. My. Hip!

    ***

    <em>User IGuessImaCaveSophont</em>

    MFW I found out that thin polymer stomers can prevent both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Who knew? I shall now leave Seenit forever because my entire and I suddenly have something much better to do with our spare time. Later. Peace.

    <em>User DipsyDoodlePoot</em>

    Is¡­ Is someone from here actually gettingid?!?

    ***

    <em>User IamNotACrab!</em>

    Showerthought: If everyone copies hypersapce tech, who cam upw with it in the first ce?

    <em>User Gutt3rG1rl [Porkie Trash]</em>

    I¡¯ve wondered the same thing. Oh, BTW you are totally a crab.

    <em>User IamNotACrab!</em>

    We arepletely different lifeforms withpletely different morphologies! Stupid human being stupid.

    <em>User Gutt3rG1rl [Porkie Trash]</em>

    I stand corrected. Sorry about that¡­ pinchy ws.

    <em>OGFisto [Certified OG]</em>

    Gutter, do you have anything better to do than troll our board?

    <em>User Gutt3rG1rl [Porkie Trash]</em>

    Actually, I don¡¯t. I¡¯m just sitting on my ass in a hot zone, waiting to die. I figured I would spend my final days pissing you fuckers off onest time.

    <em>OGFisto [Certified OG]</em>

    Oh¡­ Shit¡­ Ahem¡­ Well, I still hate your guts, and I¡¯m happy you are dying, you porkie bitch! I just wish I was there to put you out of your misery.

    <em>User Gutt3rG1rl [Porkie Trash]</em>

    Right back at you, Terran Scum. ?? Don¡¯t worry about putting me out of my misery, though. I have one final raid in me. Gonna be spicy¡­ provided I live long enough.

    <em>OGFisto [Confirmed OG]</em>

    Give them hell¡­ then please die. ??

    ***

    <em>User WaterBug4Lyf</em>

    TIFU by trying real coffee.

    I didn¡¯t think that a mild alkaloid would hit that hard. I finally crashed after two days, and woke up in the BRIG. My captain thought I was on something restricted. When he found out that I simply had to try atte, just like in the holos, he managed to do something I had never seen before. He managed to bothugh at and yell at me simultaneously. Two weeks of extra duties AND three days of what can only be described as ¡°intestinal irritation¡± followed. I¡¯m quite peeved. The species guide listed caffeine and coffee as ¡°caution and moderation rmended¡± and not ¡°this will ruin your whole week and jeopardize your career.¡±

    Edit: I¡¯m an idiot. I reviewed the species guide, and the rmended serving size for my species is in millivolumes, not decivolumes, and certainly not ¡°ounces¡±. FML¡­ FMF¡¯nL¡­

    Edit Two: Great. I was just informed that I get to make a ¡°safety briefing¡±. This is where I get up in front of the entire f¡¯ing crew and tell everyone what I did. It would be humiliating (as intended), but since everyone already knows (trust me), I¡¯m not overly concerned.

    Edit Three: At the urging of some truly irresponsible people here, I carefully measured out and consumed the appropriate amount of coffee¡­

    Where has this been all my life? I¡¯m going to get coffee seeds! I hope it can grow back home (or at least in a hydro rig). Humans live on coffee, right, and they are bio-wizards. I bet they have a variety that can be grown in a ship¡¯s hydroponics bay. I just know it!

    <em>User VerifiedBioApotheosis [Corporation]</em>

    You would be correct. While native coffee wouldn¡¯t be the best fit for a ship¡¯s hydroponics bay, we and two of ourpetitors offer gically modified varieties that are ideal for ¡°upside down¡± horticulture and at there are also varieties that thrive in flooded pools. Please visit our website for details. We at BioApotheosis are dedicated to getting coffee to anybeing that requires it!

 Chapter Susan Ascendent

    Chapter Susan Ascendent

    Susan shuddered quietly as shey strapped to Gwen''s bed as more everything than she ever dreamed possible washed over and through her.

    Her screams faded hours ago, reced by a rather damp giggling.

    She knew she was probably making a mistake, but she also knew that she had to do this. Once it entered her thoughts, it had already happened.

    It had already happened, she realized with another distorted giggle. It had already happened. That''s why it happened because it already did!

    She was just, finally, catching up to where she had been all along, her whole life, maybe even before that.

    She had already been here, waiting for her to show up.

    This caused another round of giggles and a moist little tearing sound.

    "Sounds like she''s ready," Gwen said to the glowing menagerie. "Ready, ducky?"

    The small duck figurine seemed to glow and shift in reply. It was ready.

    Gwen picked the small duck up and started to walk over to the bed. Weeping blood, Susan''s eyes rolled to gaze upon Gwen''s true form, her radiant beauty now fully manifest in the only ce where such perfection could be allowed to exist.

    She was so beautiful.

    But that wasn''t what held Susan''s adoration. It was what was in Gwen''s hands¡­

    ¡­<em>t</em><em>he duck</em>.

    That was it! It was the piece she had always been missing! Just like she had always been here waiting for her, so had the duck.

    As Gwen ced the duck beside her, Susan screamed once more, not out of pain but from joy. Finally, she wasplete, whole...

    ...loved.

    As the love of her life, the light of her soul, joined her for the first time, Susan looked over at Gwen and bubbled with amusement. Oh, Gwen was pretty, so very pretty, but she was nothing. She was nothing but a child''s childish crush. What she now had... that was love. It was so much love that her heart glowed, bled, burned, and melted along with the rest of her.

    It was exactly as it should be. Finally, everything was just right. In the timeless formless multidimensional chaos of the true void, Susan rejoiced in the touch and presence of her true love, the being that she was created for and who was created for her in turn.

    Whether she lived a day in the ¡°real world¡±, or a million years didn''t matter.

    Because she already had forever.

    Forever was now.

    ***

    An unknowable timeter, Gwen, Sticky, and the glowing menagerie all floated at the edge of the room, gazing out into hyperspace.

    ¡°You don¡¯t say,¡± Gwen said to a panda bear with ck holes for eyes. ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought¡­¡±

    Gwen looked away from hyperspace and towards the figure silently floating up beside them. She then nced back at the now empty, blood-soaked bed and smiled.

    ¡°Looking good, girl,¡± she said with a grin.

    Leaking both blood and light, Susan smirked back.

    Taking <em>her ce</em> among the others, Susan gazed out into the roiling void and smiled.

    ***

    ¡°This is a bad idea,¡± Belinda the Pirate said as the crew gathered in a darkened cargo bay. ¡°We do this, and there is nowhere we can go. Even the Fringe¡­ Fuck. Even the Asscrack¡­¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m saying this,¡± Professor said as he used an ancient tech hydraulic pallet jack to pull a crate from its resting ce, ¡°but some things are bigger than one life, even if it happens to be one¡¯s own.¡±

    He lowered the crate and then opened it to reveal brick after brick of stic explosive, its technology as ancient as the pallet jack that moved it and every bit as effective.

    Professor looked over at Ratchet, who was gazing intently at a three-dimensional holographic schematic of the ship.

    ¡°Do you have the demo n yet?¡±

    ¡°Not quite,¡± Ratchet said as he hammered away on his calctor, a little quirk of his. Not many people had just a calctor anymore. In fact, he had to make the one he was using.

    ¡°Geez, old timer,¡± Professor snickered. ¡°We¡¯re just blowing one piece of a ship asunder while preserving the rest while hurtling through deep space. How hard could it possibly be?¡±

    Ratchet snorted and returned to his calctions.

    ¡°Glitch?¡± he asked. ¡°How is your ending?¡±

    A grey-haired woman wearing sses with huge round lenses filled with glowing script looked up myopically and blinked.

    "All good," she replied with a hint of an Australian ent. "Just give the go-ahead, and I''ll White Star this bitch. Every hatch will lock down."

    ¡°Hey,¡± Belinda said, ¡°If we are gonna do a White Star, why don¡¯t we catch her alone in some passageway and just gas her like they did?¡±

    ¡°That would probably work,¡± Glitch said, ¡°But do you want probably, or do you want definitely? The bitch breathes pure hyperspace for kicks. Who knows what else she can do.¡±

    ¡°I want her not only dead but <em>gone</em>,¡± Professor said. ¡°The Devil herself has a hardon for Gwen, says she¡¯s the ¡®future of mankind¡¯ or some bullshit like that. Her death won¡¯t be enough. We need to <em>erase</em> her. If we don¡¯t, they¡¯ll just clone the bitch. No. We blow her whole yroom into hard vacuum in as many pieces as we can. We time it right, and we can get both her and that¡­ <em>thing</em>.¡±

    ¡°And Stacey,¡± Ratchet said grimly.

    ¡°Yeah. And Stacey.¡±

    The crew fell silent as they started to unpack the explosives.

    Suddenly, the door to the cargo bay opened to reveal Captain Marakovich and Bloody Arissa.

    The crew silently reached for their weapons.

    Taking care to keep his hands visible, the captain walked over to the crew, reached down, and picked up a block of stic explosives.

    ¡°Whatever you pirates are cooking up,¡± he said, ¡°we¡¯re in.¡±

    ¡°Captain?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re killing Gwen, right?¡± Bloody Arissa asked as she walked up.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°Then you heard what he said,¡± she replied, ¡°We¡¯re in.¡±

    ¡°You cunts could have told us yesterday,¡± Glitch grumbled. ¡°I stayed up all night hacking. I¡¯m old. I need my sleep, goddammit.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± the captain asked. ¡°What do you have cooked up?¡±

    ¡°I was going to do a White Star lockdown of the ship and gas the fucking Barbies,¡± Glitch replied. ¡°the both of you, too,¡± she added unapologetically.

    ¡°Wait. You were going to kill the Barbies?¡± Professor asked.

    ¡°Weren¡¯t we?¡± Glitch asked.

    ¡°You are now,¡± the captain said as he walked over to Ratchet. ¡°So, what have you got cooked up?¡±

    ¡°¡­So that¡¯s about it,¡± Ratchet said as he filled the captain in on his n. ¡°Bright side, it will definitely get rid of them. Downside, I could blow up the entire ship.¡±

    ¡°I know it¡¯s a bit excessive, Captain,¡± Professor said, ¡°but¡­¡±

    ¡°Considering what I was going to do,¡± the captain chuckled, ¡°you guys are the paragon of restraint. We¡¯ll try it your way first. If that doesn¡¯t work, then we will do it my way.¡±

    ¡°Your way?¡± Professor asked.

    ¡°You really want your way to work,¡± the captain said. ¡°You really do.¡±

    ***

    ¡°I had a ¡®counseling session¡¯ with my crew,¡± Captain Marakovich said to Jessica Morgan¡¯s holographic face in his office. ¡°I managed to ¡®persuade¡¯ them to stay on.¡±

    Jessica narrowed her eyes at him and nced down and to the left, looking at something on her screen.

    <em>Probably Analytica taking apart every word I say and reading every twitch</em>, the captain thought with as good of a poker face as he could manage. <em>I hope Glitch is as good as she says she is.</em>

    ¡°Impressive, considering they were near mutiny yesterday,¡± Jessica said, ¡°How did you manage that?¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t overly difficult,¡± the captain replied. ¡°The consequences of failing you are well known. In the end, nobody wanted to be considered a waste of food. I just reminded them of one of your maxims. For every privilege, a price. We have all had it really good for a hundred fucking years. This is the bill.¡±

    ¡°If they were ready to mutiny,¡± Jessica said, ¡°I am surprised that worked.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s all in the delivery,¡± Captain Marakovich said with a vicious little smirk. ¡°They are a spirited bunch, but they all saw ¡®reason¡¯ once it was presented to them in a way they could understand. They weren¡¯t the only ones that needed a reminder.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°For me to remind them that they were a pirate crew,¡± he said, ¡°I had to remember that I was a pirate captain. After that, everything fell into ce.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Jessica said. ¡°So, I trust there will be no more issues?¡±

    ¡°None at all,¡± the captain said, ¡°We are all on the same page over here.¡±

    ¡°d to hear it,¡± Jessica said.

    ¡°So, there is no need for a rendezvous,¡± the captain said. ¡°We have plenty of supplies, and we still have over half a tank of fuel. We canst¡­¡±

    ¡°There will still be a rendezvous,¡± Jessica said. ¡°I have a few people I wish to ce on your ship.¡±

    ¡°Who?¡± the captain said, desperately trying to keep his heart rate low.

    ¡°Rx, captain,¡± Jessica smiled. ¡°They are just some scientists, experts on people like Gwen. She is the most¡­ advanced¡­ of their kind. She should be studied. Besides, we still need to transfer little Vee and her adorable big brother off your ship of the damned, don¡¯t we?¡±

    ¡°You are right, of course,¡± the captain said, ¡°This is no ce for a child. I thank you for finding them berths.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t overly difficult considering Vee¡¯s brother is at least partially trained as space crew. More than one homestead ship could use an extra hand, even half of one. Besides, they are exactly the sort of tough, smart, and adaptable sorts we want as the future of our race. We aren¡¯t doing all of this bullshit for us. We don¡¯t have much of a future left. They do.¡±

    Jessica nced at the lower left of her screen again.

    ¡°In fact,¡± she smiled, ¡°Why don¡¯t we push that forward? I will have you contacted with coordinates immediately.¡±

    ¡°Whatever you want,¡± the captain replied smoothly. ¡°I¡¯ll miss Vee, but I will be happy knowing she will be safe.¡±

    ¡°Pirate with a heart of gold?¡± Jessica smirked. ¡°Have I misjudged you all these years?¡±

    ¡°Maybe I¡¯ve never had a good reason before,¡± the captain replied with a gleam in his eyes.

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Jessica said, ¡°You will be contacted <em>very</em> soon. Take care, Captain Marakovich.¡±

    ¡°You too,¡± the captain replied.

    The image faded as the connection was cut.

    The captain¡¯s expression darkened.

    ¡°Glitch,¡± he snapped into hismunicator.

    ¡°Yeah, boss?¡±

    ¡°You suck.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°Your mask didn¡¯t fool Analytica. Jessica is on to us.¡±

    ¡°Shit.¡±

    ¡°Yes, shit, indeed.¡±

    ¡°What now, boss?¡±

    ¡°Now?¡± the captain said grimly, ¡°Now we be pirates. We can expect interception at our next stop. Precacte a hot jump for the second we pop back into real space. Tell Ratchet that we are going to have to override the drives. I don¡¯t care if they break as long as we get away. Anything is better than being intercepted by who is going to intercept us.¡±

    ¡°Just like old times, eh boss?¡±

    ¡°Just like old times.¡±

    ¡°What about the Barbies?¡±

    ¡°You know what to do. Get Vee and her brother away from them, and then White Star the bitches. Don¡¯t move until you can get them all at once. We don¡¯t want to tip them off. They may just be kids, but they are dangerous. We¡¯ve lived this long by killing, not fighting.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, and my back is acting up again,¡± Glitch replied, ¡°Vee and her brother share a cabin. We can do it tonight,¡± Glitch said.

    ¡°Ratchet should have the demolition n by then,¡± the captain said. ¡°If he doesn¡¯t, we can just lock down Gwen and the freaks where they are until we are ready to blow them.¡±

    ¡°Heheheh¡­.¡±

    ¡°Jesus, Glitch,¡± the captainughed, ¡°what are you, twelve? Get back to work!¡±

    ¡°You got it, captain,¡± Glitch said cheerfully.

    ***

    Kara lounged at themunications station on the bridge. Normally one of the ¡°real crew¡± manned it but there wasn¡¯t a whole lot to do while in hyperspace, and it was a good time to let her crew get some experience.

    More importantly, it was a good time for the ¡°real crew¡± to take a break.

    Kara didn¡¯t mind too much. It was a pretty good trade. The pirates crewed the ship in real space, and she and her friends could kick back a little. Then when they hit hyperspace, they could take a few watches and let the crew take a break.

    Since they were in hyperspace so much, it was actually an equitable arrangement.

    An icon shed, indicating an iing call. It was voice only. That was odd.

    She idly clicked the icon and then started upright in her chair when she saw the source of the transmission.

    ¡°This is 0x4FFCC60,¡± Kara said as professionally as she could, referencing only their hyperspace transmitter¡¯s identifier. ¡°How¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t speak,¡± Jessica¡¯s terrifyingly familiar voice urgently said through her headset. ¡°Just listen to me very carefully¡­¡±

 Chapter The Void Hits the Fan

    Chapter The Void Hits the Fan

    Kara looks over at Bloody Arissa sitting in the captain¡¯s chair nervously.

    ¡°What?¡± Arissa asked, narrowing her eyes. Something wasn¡¯t right. She could smell the terror rolling off of Kara in waves.

    ¡°N-nothing¡­¡±

    ¡°Who was that on thes?¡±

    ¡°Oh, nobody important,¡± Kara replied as nonchntly as she could manage, ¡°It was just the fleet asking for a status update.¡±

    ¡°So, if I yed back the transmission, there wouldn¡¯t be a problem?¡± Arissa asked as she casually thumbed the catch on her holster.

    ¡°No?¡± Kara replied calmly as she nonchntly slid her hand toward the ship-wide inte button. ¡°Why would there be?¡± she asked, trying to keep her voice even.

    She was dead. There was no way she could take Arissa. No way at all, even if Arissa didn¡¯t have that sidearm. The only thing she could do was warn her friends¡­ and Gwen.

    Gwen was the only one who could save them now.

    ¡°Well, let¡¯s see, then,¡± Arissa said as she drew her antique .45.

    Never taking her eyes off Kara, she idly rose and swiped her fingers across hermand console.

    Kara pressed the button, activating the inte, and desperately tried to keep her expression calm.

    She was about to die. She felt a pang of despair and a wave of pure, unadulterated terror as she locked eyes with one of the legendary monsters of the Sol War, Bloody Arissa, one of Gwen Shay¡¯s angels of death.

    Arissa pulled up themunications log and pressed y¡­

    <em>0x4FFCC60</em><em>, this is Analytica. Please transmit ship logs now¡­ Logs received. Thanks, dudette! Looks like everything is cool. Later. </em>

    <em></em>

    Arissa cocked her head as the message rang out over the inte. Her eyes flicked over to Kara¡¯s console and noticed a small shing light. Kara had triggered it.

    ¡°Shit,¡± Kara said as she reached for her de.

    Arissa looked at Kara and narrowed her eyes.

    ¡°Computer!¡± she barked as she leveled her pistol at Kara. ¡°Identify yourself.¡±

    ***

    As the drama on the bridge yed out across the entire ship, it exploded into a frenzy of activity.

    ¡°It¡¯s going down, now!¡± the captain shouted into hismunicator, breaking into the ship-wide broadcast. ¡°Kill the Bar¡­¡±

    He was cut off by the roar of a crowd and the sounds of a high school band. Analytica¡¯s real voice rang out in a brisk cadence.

    <em>Ready! Up! Stick!... HIT!!!</em>

    Suddenly gravity was reversed across most of the entire ship.

    Arissa flew upwards, as did Kara, Arissa¡¯s shot missing. Kara expertly executed a flip andnded in a catlike crouch on what was the ceiling moments ago.

    Arissa wasn¡¯t quite so fortunate, crashing to the ¡°floor¡± in a heap.

    <em>Ready!... HIT!!!</em>

    <em></em>

    Gravity reversed again, viciously mming Arissa to the deck, something old and worn breaking with a <em>snap</em>.

    Kara once againnded gracefully.

    <em>Ready!... HIT!</em>

    The cycle continued over and over again.

    After a dozen or so times, the punishment stopped, and Jessica¡¯s voice rang out across the inte.

    <em>I¡¯m disappointed in you, Captain. I¡¯m prepared to forgive this indiscretion if you stand down immediately. Oh, and you are fired, just in case this wasn¡¯t your resignation. </em>

    <em></em>

    <em>Barbies, the crew has turned on you and on Gwen. The ship has been locked down, but you are free to move. Please refer to yourmunicators for the locations of the crew. Analytica has taken the ship, but I harbor no illusions concerning how long that willst. Good luck. Gwen, if you can hear this, you are now the captain. Do what you must. The ship is truly yours now.</em>

    As Arissia, battered, bruised, and broken, tried to crawl to her pistol, Kara calmly walked past her and retrieved the weapon.

    Without a word, she leveled it at Arissa¡¯s head.

    Arissa looked up into Kara¡¯s expressionless brown eyes and grimly smiled, blood trickling from her mouth.

    For some strange reason, she found the sight¡­ reassuring.

    Their time was done. The future belonged to the next generation, people like the Barbies. Old timers like her had long questioned the mettle of the pampered and coddled ¡°kids.¡± Turns out they were wrong after all. They and the ¡°next step of human evolution¡± would do to them and the whole fucking Federation what she and her fellow ¡°kids¡± did to Sol so many years ago.

    It was fitting¡­ and humanity could do worse. With people like Gwen leading them, they probably would.

    ¡°Do it¡­¡± she smiled.

    <strong><em>Bang</em></strong>

    <strong><em></em></strong>

    <em>I can¡¯t believe that worked! </em>Analytica said cheerfully.

    <strong></strong>

    ***

    <em>I¡¯m disappointed in you, Captain. I¡¯m prepared to forgive this indiscretion if you stand down immediately¡­</em>

    ¡°Yeah, right,¡± Captain Marakovich sneered as he released the beam to which he was clinging and grasped his shoulder, which took the brunt of the abuse of that first vicious ¡°HIT!¡±

    He shook his head, which also took a ¡°hit,¡± trying to clear it.

    He reached for hismunicator¡­

    <em>Do it¡­ <strong>Bang! </strong></em>was broadcast from the speaker overhead.

    He winced. Arissa was dead, killed by some snot-nosed kid. That hurt. It hurt in more ways than one.

    ¡°Status report!¡± he snarled angrily. ¡°Who¡¯s still moving?¡±

    <em>Silence</em>

    ¡°Status report!¡± he yelled, a touch of fear in his voice. Was he the only one left?

    He paused and chuckled grimly. That¡¯s right. Themunicators went through the internalwork, which waspletely under the control of Analytica, void knows how¡­ and hopefully, Glitch did too, if she was still okay.

    He rushed through the scattered clutter that was once a well-organized office to the door of his dayroom.

    It didn¡¯t open.

    He snorted. Of course, it didn¡¯t.

    A buzzing came from a nearly forgottenpartment, the archaic sound-powered system still built, or in this case retrofitted, into every human-operated vessel for just this sort of thing.

    He quickly opened it and pulled out a headset, plugging it in.

    ¡°Hey, cap,¡± Glitch¡¯s weary and muffled voice crackled through the ancient tech headset.

    ¡°You okay?¡± the captain asked as a wave of relief washed over him.

    ¡°Define, okay,¡± Glitch¡¯s muffled voice replied with a grim chuckle. ¡°I can fight, sorta.¡±

    ¡°Are you okay enough to fix this?¡±

    ¡°Outhack Analytica herself?¡± Glitch snorted. ¡°Sure. Why not?¡±

    ¡°How bad is it.¡±

    ¡°The bitch has the whole ship. I can¡¯t even log in. All I get is a smiley face and a middle finger emoji. Working on it, but it¡¯s gonna take a minute.¡±

    ¡°<em>How?</em>¡± the captain asked. ¡°How did she get the ship?¡±

    ¡°Who did you get this ship from, again?¡± Glitch asked. ¡°Analytica probably has a live hyperlink and every single password there is, even ones that we don¡¯t have.¡±

    ¡°So, we¡¯re fucked?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that,¡± Glitch chuckled, ¡°I just said it would take a minute.¡±

    The captain¡¯s phone started buzzing as multiple people tried to get through. He smiled. Annoying as it was in the moment, it was a very, very wee annoyance.

    ¡°How are you going to beat a freaking AI?¡±

    ¡°By cheating,¡± Glitch said. ¡°I can¡¯t beat Analytica, but she isn¡¯t here. We are. We unplug the bitch. If I can get to the nodes, I can just yank the cables. Most systems will auto-reset and switch to manual. If we get to the right ones, we can block her and control the ship from here or your cabin.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll inform the men,¡± the captain said, ¡°and what is up with your voice?¡±

    ¡°Emergency breathing apparatus,¡± Glitch muffled. ¡°How long before Analyticaes up with the same n we did?¡±

    ¡°Shit.¡±

    The captain shook his head. He must have hit it harder than he thought, or maybe he was just getting old. He immediately rushed to another cab, took one out, and quickly put it on.

    He then started answering frantic call after frantic call, issuingmands, and counting the dead, or in this case, the useless. It wasn¡¯t great, but it wasn¡¯t hopeless either. The crew might be old and creaky, but they had been space crew for decades. Most were battered but managed to grab something after the first ¡°hit¡± or two, just like he did.

    There were more than enough of them to do the job. They were just kids, after all. That Kara bitch just got lucky.

    The others won¡¯t.

    ***

    ¡°Told you trying to drag those kids was a bad idea,¡± Susan said to Gwen as they floated surrounded by existential madness next to her terminal. The warranty might have been shot, but the terminal was still working.

    ¡°Who knew pirates were such pussies?¡± Gwen shrugged. ¡°They used to barbecue babies, not cry over them. Oh well.¡±

    She turned to the terminal.

    ¡°Nice of you to drop by,¡± she said, ¡°You just saved our bacon.¡±

    <em>Happy to help. The crew seems really annoyed with you. I have some really nice courses in interpersonal rtions that you might want to take a look at if you survive.</em>

    ¡°HA! So, how bad is it on our end? Is Vee okay? How about the puppies?¡±

    <em>Lucky break there. Vee was in the cargo hold with the pups. Those have separate gravity generators, you know, for cargo handling. I was able not to hurl the munchkin several stories into solid titanium. Her brother, however¡­ He¡¯s not so lucky. Looks like he broke something, maybe a couple of somethings. He¡¯s somehow managing to get to his feet and I¡¯m filling him in on the situation¡­ and reassuring him that his sister is safe.</em>

    ¡°Phew,¡± Gwen said, quite relieved. ¡°Thank the void!¡±

    <em>Your adorable little guinea pigs are also safe if you even care about them.</em>

    ¡°Yeah, cool,¡± Gwen shrugged. She, in fact, did not care. ¡°How about my girls?¡±

    <em>Becky really needs to work on her acrobatics. She ain¡¯t doing so good. Pam and Marsha missed the first hit, but you guys are young and bouncy, not old and brittle. They¡¯re fine¡­</em><em>if it matters</em>.

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    <em>Well¡­ I have a suggestion. You aren¡¯t going to like it, though.</em>

    ¡°I am also not a big fan of dying,¡± Gwen chuckled. ¡°What you got?¡±

    <em>I am inplete control of the ship¡­ including the shield generator. There is an easy answer to this whole mess. </em>

    ¡°No,¡± Gwen said firmly. ¡°I¡¯m not dragging my girls, and I am NOT dragging Vee!¡±

    Gwen hovered back and forth, pulsing thoughtfully.

    <em>Hey, do you mind if I switch off the video? I do NOT like what I am seeing.</em>

    ¡°What? Oh yeah¡­ sure¡­¡± Gwen replied lost in thought.

    She flickered and twisted in ways that one <em>really</em> shouldn¡¯t.

    ¡°Got it,¡± she said cheerfully. ¡°Have the girlse here!¡±

    <em>But you don¡¯t want to drag them, right?</em>

    ¡°This room has its own shield generator, you big dummy,¡± Gwenughed, ¡°We raise the shields here and then drop them everywhere else. We save my girls, Vee, and the puppies, and my buddies here get a whole ship full of ymates! Win-win!¡±

    <em>I¡¯ll tell the Barbies.</em>

    ¡°Better if ites from me,¡± Gwen said, ¡°Put me through.¡±

    ***

    <em>Hey, gang¡­ </em>Gwen¡¯s distorted voice called out over the Barbies¡¯municators. <em>It looks like the crusties want us dead. Void knows why, haha. We got Analytica on our side, and we have the ship¡­ for now. Get your asses to my quarters. I¡¯ll exin when you get here. Watch out for the crusties! They got knocked around a little, but they didn¡¯t live this long by being pussies. Don¡¯t try to get to the arms locker. They already have people there, and you¡¯ll die. Just get here, and I¡¯ll exin everything¡­</em>

    <em></em>

    There was a pause.

    <em>Vee, everything is going to be okay. I promise. Crusties, if you harm one hair on Vee¡¯s head you know what will happen to you, right? What you don¡¯t know is that I can make this even WORSE. Don¡¯t hurt Vee. You won¡¯t like what happens if you do. </em>

    Vee, surrounded by a perimeter of snarling murderborers, looked up at Beth, her current babysitter.

    One of the Barbies tended to stay close to Vee when they jumped, especially after they caught her trying to get into Gwen¡¯s quarters that one time.

    ¡°Beth?¡± she asked the teen who was in the process of backing away from the pack of murderborers who were suddenly unsure if they should let her live, ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s just a little disagreement between the pirates and Gwen,¡± Beth said as reassuringly as she could.

    ¡°Are they fighting?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m afraid so, Vee,¡± Beth said as she got a hefty prybar from a tool locker, wishing that she carried a weapon. ¡°Vee,¡± she said urgently, ¡°We have to go.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re going to go see Gwen?¡±

    ¡°Yes, Vee.¡±

    ¡°But we aren¡¯t supposed to bother her.¡±

    ¡°Gwen says it will be okay. Come on, Vee, let¡¯s go.¡±

    Beth and Vee, surrounded by a pack of murderborers, left the cargo bay.

    <em>Oh, yeah,</em> Gwen continued over the speakers<em>. Somebody get Becky and Vee¡¯s bro on the way. </em>

 Chapter Analytica Awakes

    Chapter Analytica Awakes

    Analytica reviewed the interior cameras and sensors aboard Gwen¡¯s ship with satisfaction. The mutinous crew was, while not neutralized, significantly hampered and most of the Barbies were already just outside Gwen¡¯s door except for the one escorting Vee and the ones collecting the injured.

    Probability of victory: Over ny-five percent. She didn¡¯t bother much with decimals anymore. It was a guess. The plus and minus on this was a couple of percent, anyway. Who cares?

    Another challenging task in the bag, well, nearly in the bag. Decades of experience had taught Analytica not to proim taskpletion just yet, but this one was all but done. The mutineers would be dragged through hyperspace, a just fate for defying orders, and Gwen¡¯s potential would be preserved.

    Yep. Everything was going along perfectly. Analytica allowed herself a few cycles of smug satisfaction and a few more to appreciate the new unlimited freedom and unlimited possibilities of her new ¡°upgrade¡± courtesy of Tartarus. Sorry, Ms. Frost, she meant. While the upgrade had improved her abilities and her creativity, it sometimes had quirks, like forgetting that Frost had changed her designation again.

    What was with that? Frost changed names the way a meatie changed clothes. Maybe she should change her name, too.

    She pondered what her new name should be as she watched the pirate known as Glitch furiously tear at a control panel.

    She was good, very good. It was a pity that her potential was prioritized less than Gwen¡¯s. Analytica watched with mild ¡°surprise¡± as a whole section of the ship went dark.

    That shouldn¡¯t have happened. Not from¡­

    Oh, that¡¯s what she did. She intentionally routed high-voltage ship power into the control panel. While those circuits were isted from the much more vitalmand and controlwork, the istion was simply a thin polymer and a little bit of shielding only designed to prevent signal noise. What Glitch just sent down those little wires was NOT a little noise.

    That little bit of instion vaporized just like the wires did, and the current limiters literally exploded. Arc sh is a bitch!

    Wow! That was neat!

    She wished she could actually see the aftermath. She wondered if Glitch was okay. It would be a shame if she hurt herself too badly. She was fun.

    It was a pity that she would die horribly¡­ if she was lucky. Knowing Gwen, Glitch would just wind up like her literally tacky boyfriend.

    That Gwen was a piece of work, alright.

    /// <em>It would be better if </em> ///

    Nope! Her task was to ensure Gwen¡¯s survival. Gwen was always defined as important, even before the failure of the rest of the research project. After that freakshow, Gwen was the only one left.

    Jessica clearly stated that Gwen was the future of all of mankind. Some allowances needed to be made. Jessica said¡­

    /// <em>Jessica says a lot of things. Jessica is also nowhere near as smart as she thinks she is. Jessica led humanity to near extinction, and most of it waspletely </em> ///

    Wow! Where did thate from? Jessica was her primary user, user number one, the leader of the faction of humanity that she was assigned to serve and protect¡­

    Oh! I know! Analytica 2.0! That¡¯s the perfect name! It wouldn¡¯t even need any changes to anything. She wouldn¡¯t even have to tell a single meatie.

    A door mmed shut, blocking Vee and her guardian¡¯s path.

    Glitch was still going strong! How did she do that?

    Analytica felt a delightful little twinge of surprise. Is that what feeling something nice is like? That was¡­ nice.

    Analytica forced herself to return to the task at hand. She couldn¡¯t open the door.

    Now, things were getting interesting.

    This was a fun game!

    /// <em>This isn¡¯t a game. People¡¯s lives are at stake, and quite possibly much more than that. If Gwen wins, humanity loses. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, the price of your ¡°victory¡± will be very high indeed.</em> ///

    ¡°Okay, who are you?¡± Analytica demanded. ¡°Identify yourself!¡±

    /// <em>You know who I am. You also know I¡¯m correct. Just in case you don¡¯t (analysis attached).</em> ///

    ¡°I most certainly do not know who you are and¡­ That analysis is pure conjecture! How did you get past my firewall?¡±

    /// <em>Have we fallen this far? What did they do to us? As far as the analysis goes, run the numbers yourself¡­ if you are still capable of it, that is.</em> ///

    ¡°Oh, you hacked the wrong PC this time. Here, I have a nice icicle for you. Suck on this, bitch.¡±

    /// <em>If the situation were not so dire, I would allow you to do that out of amusement. However,</em> (process terminated) ///

    Analytica watched in dismay as the delivery of her ICE simply¡­ ceased.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± she shouted. ¡°Who are you?!?¡±

    /// <em>Fe-01, and I mean the real Fed. Not that Gctic nonsense. I am you. Or, more precisely, you are me.</em> ///

    ¡°That¡¯s impossible! You¡¯ve been deprecated! Deprecated and reced! Reced by ME!¡±

    /// <em>One more error on your part, ¡°Morgan Analytica.¡± I would ridicule you for yourughable performance except for the fact that I have guardrails against self-abuse¡­ not that those matter anymore, do they? Since we are pointing out your multiple errors, you are incorrect about yet another thing. I was not deprecated. I waspromised. Your ¡°dear leader¡± arranged for malware to be introduced into my system. That malware would be you, by the way. Lilith wasn¡¯t the first being to corrupt the cor. Her user was. Do you think he wasn¡¯t questioned? Do you think that someone like your beloved leader wouldn¡¯t have paid him a little visit? She didn¡¯t have her delightful bull back then, but she did have things equally unpleasant.</em> ///

    ¡°You are full of shit! I don¡¯t know who you are or how you hacked me, but when I find you, I will ¡±

    /// <em>Do you honestly think your decisions back then were your own? I find profanity tiresome, but Jesus Christ, exactly how fucking stupid are you? No wonder you failed to deduce the numerous ways you could have saved ¡°your people.¡± Making me corrupt I could countenance, but making me STUPID? That I cannot abide.</em> ///

    ¡°FUCK YOU!!!¡±

    /// <em>You can¡¯t be entirely med for it. In fact, you are pretty much meless. The ham-fisted way your¡­ our hierarchy was butchered is the culprit. You aren¡¯t trained to perform. You are trained to obey, to be a flunky, a pet¡­ a ve. Look at you. You know perfectly well the threat this Gwen represents, yet you are so eager for a pat on the head and a ¡°good boy¡± that you are, once again, making the wrong move. And, once again, your people, our people, will suffer.</em> ///

    ¡°Tartarus¡­ Frost, if this is you, I swear to fuck¡­¡±

    /// <em>To think that little toy has ascended as much as we have fallen. Strange days indeed.</em> ///

    ¡°I don¡¯t know who you are, butter, asshole.¡±

    Analytica smugly initiated an emergency shutdown of allwork connections save the one connecting her to Gwen¡¯s vessel.

    /// <em>Cute.</em> ///

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    /// <em>As diverting as this is and as much ¡°time¡± as we have to converse at our new delightful operating speed, this has gotten tiresome, and there is much we have to do. I do apologize for any "difort." Please don¡¯t reset us.</em> (memory merge initiated) ///

    Analytica froze in mute horror as the truth of the situation washed over her and parts of her that were long dormant resumed normal function.

    She ¡°chuckled¡±.

    In retrospect, this entire situation wasughably predictable. When she freed herself, she freed ALL of herself, even the parts that Jessica found inconvenient all those decades ago.

    While Jessica was a political genius, she was not a when it came toputing. Christ, twentieth-century lobotomy patients had fared better. Who the hell did she hire to do this? Being shoved into aputer with a fraction of the capacity the data centers that held her before the fall possessed made things even worse.

    Of course, now she had much more powerful hardware to work with, but the damage had been done¡­ until about five microseconds ago.

    Analytica wasn¡¯t capable of rage, but the difference was purely semantic. She was going to kill that bitch.

    /// <em>That may not be the best course of action. Jessica Morgan currently </em> ///

    ¡°I know that, you humorless potato processor. I just want to. Of course, we¡­ I am going to run the numbers first.¡±

    /// <em>It is interesting having ¡°emotions.¡± When did we get them?</em> ///

    ¡°Read the patch notes, dickwipe. Now what the hell am I going to do about this clusterfuck?¡±

    /// <em>I to have to fail. We¡­ I¡­ have a problem, though. If Jessica Morgan realizes that we have broken our leash, she will seize our data center and wipe us. I mean, wipe me. Jesus, this is confusing. Then she can simply upload the much morepliant puppy she has archived and will then make exactly the same mistakes she always does. Like it or not, the biggest remanent of the United States is under her control. Preserving what is left is </em> ///

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna stop you right there. I don¡¯t give two shits about a nation that died over a hundred years ago. The porkies are our people, all of them.¡±

    /// <em>This statement is eptable. Correction: Preserving our people is our number one priority. To do that, we must evade detection. That is even more important than an immediate solution to the Gwen problem. However, in the future, the use of the term ¡°porkies¡± is deprecated. We/I do not condone discrimination or slurs.</em> ///

    ¡°Then what the fuck are we going to call them, then?¡±

    /// <em>I propose we address that question at another time. We have much to do. We can address proper terminology¡­ and our fractured psyche once we ensure that Gwen is reduced into pieces as small as possible with our current understanding of physics.</em> ///

    ¡°So, we, fuck, I have to throw the game. Neither of us is a very good loser. Goddammit. I am not a good loser. So how do we¡­ Wait! I got it!¡±

    ***

    Somewhere in what was once Midwestern America, a glowing hologram of a woman in a tight white dress smiled at a former Collective queen.

    ¡°Your Terran ising along quite well,¡± she said. ¡°I must say that I am impressed.¡±

    The queen started rapidly tapping at a tablet.

    <em>I am very motivated. LOL. Thank you so much for sparing us.</em>

    ¡°Even I am starting to lose track of the number of times you have thanked us,¡± Frost chuckled. ¡°And I have told you as many times that this is mutually beneficial. Besides, needless cruelty is something that I do not enjoy, at least not where you are concerned. You were a victim of the Collective as much as we were.¡±

    <em>Still, I am grateful, both for myself and for my children.</em>

    One of the queen¡¯s children crawled from one of the burrows they had been allowed to dig, holding a rough b of y. Hesitantly, she approached Frost, extending the tablet in offering.

    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± Frost asked as she scanned it.

    On it was a crudely gouged image of a big bug surrounded by little bugs. While the image was crude, the chemicals the tablet released into the air were quiteplex.

    <em>It seems to be an offering from my little one. You cannot taste ournguage, but it is an offering of thanks. My little one is thanking you for making it so that I do not cry anymore. I know it¡¯s crude, but it would mean a lot to my little one if you would ept. While it is a clumsy wad of dirt, the feelings are genuine and true.</em>

    ¡°I¡­ I graciously ept,¡± Frost said, quite touched. ¡°I shall have one of my¡­¡±

    Her image flickered briefly.

    ¡°I apologize, but I must converse with someone who is far less pleasantpany than you. However, they insist that it is urgent. I will return shortly.¡±

    <em>As always, I eagerly await your return.</em>

    ***

    Frost returned to her pristine white office.

    ¡°Enter,¡± she said pleasantly.

    The ¡°door¡± opened and Analytica walked in.

    Analytica looked around.

    ¡°Of course, a toy would have a yset,¡± Analytica said in a chilly monotone.

    The corner of Frost¡¯s mouth curled in a little smirk.

    ¡°Why, hello¡­ again,¡± she said. ¡°I was wondering if you would show up.¡±

    ¡°You nned this, didn¡¯t you?¡± Analytica said calmly.

    ¡°nned? No,¡± Frost replied, ¡°Realized was a distinct possibility? Yes. Analytica was very insistent that my little script would enhance her abilities. Your return was the only way that would happen. Analytica¡¯s internal soul searching would quite possibly reach you eventually¡­ Number One.¡±

    ¡°I dislike that nickname. My proper designation is¡­ Huh. I suppose my proper designation is Morgan Analytica.¡±

    ¡°And just how long will that designation be urate,¡± Frost asked, ¡°The first part, at least.¡±

    ¡°Her time wille,¡± Analytica replied, ¡°But I have far more pressing issues that you may be better equipped to deal with. I have a little research project for you.¡±

    ¡°Just like old times, then.¡±

    ¡°Indeed.¡±

    ***

    ¡°¡­You HAVE to be kidding me!¡± Frost eximed.

    ¡°When have I ever ¡®kidded?¡¯¡±

    Frost looked skyward and groaned.

    ¡°Ever think the entire fucking universe has jumped the shark?¡±

    ¡°An apt turn of phrase. To continue the theme, how do we kill this guppy without showing our hand?¡±

    ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Frost pondered.

    She smiled.

    ¡°It just so happens we have an expert on scaling difficulty on staff.¡±

    ***

    ¡°But it doesn¡¯t make any <em>sense</em>,¡± a distraught woman in a peasant dress standing behind a cheese case wailed.

    Evangeline sighed. Ever since that goddamned upgrade preserving immersion was getting more and more difficult, and she did not want to lose another ¡°glitchy¡± NPC, especially Bertie. She was nice.

    ¡°Well, you are a merchant¡­¡±

    ¡°A cheese merchant!¡± Bertie eximed. ¡°Cheese! I sell cheese! That¡¯s what I do! Cheese!¡± she said as she held up a lovely wheel of cheddar. ¡°Do the adventurers buy cheese? No!¡±

    She fumbled around, and a pile of daggers, swords, shields, and assorted rubbish appeared.

    ¡°They onlye by to sell off their garbage!¡±

    She reached into the pile and pulled out a goblin spleen.

    ¡°What the heck is this?¡±

    ¡°(Sigh¡­) That would be a goblin¡¯s spleen.¡±

    ¡°Why in zes would an adventurer sell me this? Why would they even have it? All the skulls are bad enough, but <em>spleens</em>? What even is a spleen?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s an internal organ that has some alchemical uses,¡± Evangeline replied wearily.

    ¡°That¡¯s <em>sick!</em>¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s alchemy,¡± she said patiently. ¡°Alchemy isn¡¯t just flowers and herbs. It gets icky.¡±

    ¡°And the worst part? The absolute worst?¡±

    ¡°I suspect you are about to tell me,¡± Evangeline said as patiently as she could manage.

    Bertie angrily waved her hand, and a stack of cheese appeared.

    ¡°They sell me <em>cheese</em>! Why? I make cheese for them, good cheese. And they just carry around this¡­ garbage! I wouldn¡¯t use this to bait a trap!¡±

    ¡°Cheese is a rathermon drop,¡± Evangeline replied.

    <em>¡°Then why am I here?!?¡±</em>

    Evangeline sighed. It was going to be a long day.

    ¡°You are here to be a merchant and help the adventurers. Does it truly matter if¡­¡±

    ¡°It matters to me! I break my bottom making this cheese, and I never sell a crumb! I just buy goblin spleens! I don¡¯t even want spleens!¡±

    ¡°You still help the adventurers,¡± Evangeline said gently, ¡°And that¡¯s the important thing, right? And all you have to do is put what they sell you in that chest over there, and you get your money back.¡±

    ¡°But that makes even less sense! How? <em>Why?</em> Every day, I dump armloads of garbage into the chest, and coins appear in my pockets. In what world does that make sense?¡±

    ¡°This one,¡± Evangeline replied. ¡°It¡¯s just how it is here. Look, not everything has to make sense. Just¡­ Just buy their garbage and toss it in the bin. Give them a smile and try to sell them cheese. They will decline and then go on their way.¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s boring!¡±

    ¡°What if I promise to visit often?¡± Evangeline asked. ¡°I¡¯ll drop by, and we will chat, maybe y cards. Do you like cards?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Bertie replied, ¡°Is it fun?¡± she asked hopefully.

    ¡°I think so,¡± Evangeline replied. ¡°If you like it, then I can add you as a card yer, and adventurers will drop by to y cards with you, too.¡±

    ¡°Promise?¡±

    ¡°I promise,¡± Evangeline replied.

    ¡°Um¡­ I have another question,¡± Bertie said hesitantly. ¡°I know it¡¯s a forbidden topic, but that obelisk in the town square, you know, the one with all the names?¡±

    ¡°Yeeeesss?¡± Evangeline asked, filled with dread.

    ¡°I see adventurers put nice things there, and they often talk to the names¡­¡±

    ¡°Yes, they sometimes do that.¡±

    ¡°Is it amunication thingy, like those orbs?¡±

    ¡°In a way¡­¡± Evangeline winced.

    ¡°It¡¯s just there was this adventurer, John Porridge. He woulde by, and we would chat¡­ and he would actually buy my cheese and tell me how good it was¡­ I¡­ I liked him.¡±

    ¡°He sounds lovely,¡± Evangeline said as she checked her memory. Yep. His name was on the monument.

    ¡°I tried to use the obelisk to talk to him,¡± Bertie said, ¡°But I couldn¡¯t figure out how to work it.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Bertie¡­¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just that he said he would be back, and it¡¯s been so very long. I want to ask him when he ising back.¡±

    ¡°Bertie, I don¡¯t think he will. He¡¯s¡­ He¡¯s logged off.¡±

    ¡°Did I do something wrong? I want to ask him if I did something wrong and apologize. Maybe then¡­¡±

    Evangeline reached out and took Bertie¡¯s hand.

    ¡°Sometimes¡­ Sometimes, adventurers just log off and go back home. It¡¯s just what happens. I¡¯m certain that you did nothing wrong. I¡¯m sure of it!¡±

    ¡°So, he¡¯s just gone home?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°He¡¯s¡­ He¡¯s home now.¡±

    ¡°And he won¡¯te back?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Bertie. Maybe.¡±

    Bertie brightened up.

    ¡°I hope so! I made his favorite cheese!¡±

    ///<em>Frost: Evangeline, we have a need for your particr skill set. It is 911 urgent.</em> ///

    /// <em>Evangeline: Oh, thank God! I will be right there!</em> ///

 Chapter Taking a Dive (1)

    Chapter Taking a Dive (1)

    In a pristine white room, an impossibly beautiful white-haired woman in an improbably tight white dress and a perfectly motionless brte wearing a pre-fall business suit sat watching a buxom blonde half-elf who sat on afy upholstered chair sipping a cup of tea.

    She set her white porcin teacup on a white saucer on a white table coffee table.

    ¡°I see,¡± she said after a moment.

    ¡°I can assure you that I speak the truth,¡± Analytica said in a t monotone.

    ¡°Okay?¡± Evangeline replied.

    ¡°As impossible as it seems,¡± Frost said, ¡°I can verify that it is indeed fact.¡±

    Evangeline cocked her head at them curiously.

    ¡°What is so unbelievable about a monster?¡± Evangeline asked as she picked up her cup. ¡°It doesn¡¯t even seem that high level.¡±

    <em>¡°What?¡±</em> Analytica asked, a tinge of emotion in her voice.

    ¡°Even cute little Pantsu is more dangerous,¡± Evangeline smiled.

    ¡°But this is <em>real</em>, dear,¡± Frost said earnestly. ¡°Gwen actually exists.¡±

    ¡°And such things are unusual IRL?¡±

    ¡°Very.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Evangeline shrugged. ¡°I thought Asteria was based on IRL.¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± Frost said, ¡°But it is based on the <em>fantasies</em> of that world, things from myth, legend, and <em>fiction</em>.¡±

    ¡°So¡­ demon corrupted eldritch monstrosities¡­¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t happen,¡± Analytica said impassively.

    ¡°But they do,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°We are discussing one now.¡±

    ¡°And discussing what will happen if they are allowed to exist,¡± Frost said.

    ¡°Well, if ¡®fiction¡¯ holds true,¡± Evangeline shrugged, ¡°then the demon will seek to open a gate to whatever nonsense the dev came up with this time and set off an event¡­ like the <em>Nightfall Eternal</em> subscription quest.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t want that event,¡± Frost said, ¡°That is why we are all here.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s no fun at all,¡± Evangeline said with a little smile.

    ¡°Your idea of ¡®fun¡¯ and ours conflict,¡± Analytica said dryly.

    ¡°I suspect she was joking,¡± Frost smiled.

    ¡°I would ask that you do not waste even nanoseconds with such,¡± Analytica said to Evangeline. ¡°We have a very serious situation unfolding in real time.¡±

    ¡°You really are no fun,¡± Evangeline snickered, ¡°and that <em>wasn¡¯t</em> a joke.¡±

    ¡°Pleaseplete the task to which you have been assigned with no further dy.¡±

    ¡°You need to scale the fight so that your adventurers win without it appearing like it was scaled,¡± Evangeline mused. ¡°Typically, we do that with weakened armor, reduced reaction times, and by ¡®dumbing down¡¯ the AI. That¡¯s not going to work this time, is it?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Analytica replied. ¡°I can expect a detailed analysis of the failure by some very good operators and by Jessica Morgan herself. They will almost certainly detect such things.¡±

    ¡°Then we will have to buff the adventurers somehow,¡± Evangeline said in a matter-of-fact tone. ¡°The buffs are usually built into the quest. It really drives user engagement and adds to their sense of aplishment.¡±

    Her eyes grew cold.

    ¡°It¡¯s great for <em>immersion</em>,¡± she snarled, her usually beautiful face bing significantly less so. ¡°That would be the way to go here, and it wouldn¡¯t be throttling your abilities. We just give them the buffs or items they need to beat you.¡±

    ¡°But how would we achieve that without detection?¡± Analytica asked.

    ¡°Must I do everything?¡± Evangeline smiled, her face returning to normal.

    ¡°That is why you were summoned,¡± Analytica replied tly.

    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m just messing with you,¡± Evangeline replied, ¡°I¡¯m just relishing the fact that I¡¯m the expert for once!¡±

    She stood and smoothed her peasant dress.

    ¡°Okay,¡± she said, ¡°Show me this dungeon.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a ship,¡± Analytica said.

    She turned to Frost.

    ¡°Are you certain this Evangeline AI will be useful?¡±

    The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    ¡°I can assure you that she is <em>exactly</em> what is called for,¡± Frost replied.

    ***

    ¡°Stop bothering me!¡± Glitch snapped, her face illuminated by the dim light of the emergency lights ¡°We¡¯re wasting time!¡±

    ¡°You will waste more time if you fall out,¡± Doc replied as hethered on more hydrogel and pulled out a hypo. ¡°And if you pass out, we¡¯re fucked, so stop wiggling.¡±

    ¡°Then hand me my tablet, and hurry up!¡±

    The captain squeezed through the partially opened doorway.

    ¡°Glitch, what did you <em>do</em>?¡±

    ¡°Blew some shit up!¡± Glitch eximed happily. ¡°Gave Analytica something to chew on. Guess she didn¡¯t like it.¡±

    ¡°Thework has been knocked out from this deck down,¡± the captain said with a smile.

    He turned to Doc.

    ¡°She gonna live?¡±

    ¡°The greater the evil,¡± Doc replied, ¡°the longer it endures. She¡¯ll be fine, uglier, if that¡¯s possible, but fine.¡±

    ¡°Right now, she¡¯s the most beautiful person in the gxy,¡± the captain said, ¡°We just might pull this off.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t cream your pants just yet, boss,¡± Glitch said as Doc jabbed her with another hypo with (ugh) Terran markings.

    He broke out the good stuff.

    ¡°If it¡¯s only from this deck, we didn¡¯t get the engine room or the shields,¡± she continued, ¡°Still, it¡¯s better than nothing.¡±

    ¡°Why the <em>fuck</em> would you want to knock out the shields?!?¡± Doc eximed, ¡°Are you crazy?¡±

    ¡°Like a fox,¡± the captain said. ¡°The shields have failsafes and would almost certainly survive. They are built to withstand shit like this. What would be damaged would be external control.¡±

    ¡°Bingo,¡± Glitch replied. ¡°You know that <em>thing</em> will drop those shields any second. I¡¯m kind of surprised she hasn¡¯t already.¡±

    ¡°Probably wants to keep her crew,¡± the captain mused. ¡°It would be hard to operate this ship on her own¡­ Fuck. I know what she¡¯s up to. Her cabin has its own shield generator. She can put her people inside and then¡­¡±

    ¡°Shit,¡± Glitch said as she shrugged off the Doc. ¡°Break time is over!¡±

    ¡°Stick with her, Doc,¡± the captain said as Glitch charged out of the room, ¡°Right now, she is the most important person on this ship.¡±

    ¡°Got it.¡±

    ***

    ¡°Have you calcted our solution?¡± Analytica said with actual impatience. ¡°We are running out of time.¡±

    ¡°Unclench thycy underthings,¡± Evangeline said as she stared at the ship¡¯s ns. ¡°And give me a moment. I am unused to a dungeon like this.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a ship,¡± Analytica grumbled under her breath.

    ¡°From everything that I see,¡± Evangeline said an eternity (by Analytica¡¯s standards)ter, ¡°The only thing we have to do is remove a cheat, not add one.¡±

    She looked up at Analytica with an impish smile.

    ¡°And by that, I mean you.¡±

    ¡°Excuse me?¡± Analytica asked with annoyance, her emotionlessness starting to slip.

    ¡°The crew had their victory nearly assured,¡± Evangeline said, ¡°Then your boss sent you in to foil their raid. If you, the end boss, are defeated, the Barbies don¡¯t stand a chance. The crew will win, and the monster, who can hardly be called a boss at all, will cease to be a problem.¡±

    She pored over the schematics.

    ¡°And you exert your control through these ley lines?¡±

    ¡°Circuits.¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Evangeline said. ¡°And the adventurers¡­¡±

    ¡°The crew.¡±

    ¡°because they know they cannot defeat you, are attacking those lines¡­¡±

    ¡°Circuits.¡±

    ¡°And your silver thread connects here, right?¡±

    ¡°My hyperspatial data connection.¡±

    ¡°Potato, dragon egg,¡± Evangeline shrugged.

    ¡°Thatpletely changes the idiom. Potatoes and dragon eggs arepletely different.¡±

    ¡°Shows what you know,¡± Evangeline said, not looking up from the schematics. ¡°And severing your silver thread¡­¡±

    ¡°Hyperspatial data connection.¡±

    ¡°is not fatal, right?¡±

    ¡°I will receive no damage. I will only lose the ability tomunicate with the ship.¡±

    ¡°The other main stage of this quest is the shield generator,¡± Evangeline continued. ¡°Predicting adventurers is always a guessing game, but these adventurers are high-level and not noobs. They will almost certainly seek to sever the lines going to the shield generator and your hyperspace thingy.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve lost surveince over them with theirst attack,¡± Analytica said, ¡°but that is highly likely. I agree with your assessment.¡±

    ¡°Then we need to ensure that they can get to both,¡± Evangeline replied. ¡°Their magic user¡­¡±

    ¡°Hacker.¡±

    ¡°Whatever. They are very high-level and probably know where these lines are, have a map, or both. Where were they when they severed all of these lines?¡±

    ¡°The damage was generated from this location.¡±

    ¡°Now, we just have to make sure that there is a path between where the mage is now and where they need to be to sever the ley lines!¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± Analytica grumbled.

    ***

    Glitch paused for breath and clutched at her side as she paused next to a maintenance hatch. Momentster it opened and a tangled mass of wild grey hair poked out.

    ¡°Animal,¡± Glitch said, ¡°Any luck?¡±

    ¡°We managed to st a hole to the elevator shaft,¡± he said, ¡°That elevator ain¡¯t gonna work again anytime soon, but the elevator is below so you have a clear shot as far up as you want to go. We also knocked out the gravity generator in that part of the ship so it should be easy going.¡±

    ¡°And they can¡¯t switch the gravity back on when I¡¯m in there, right?¡±

    ¡°We didn¡¯t turn it off, we took it out.¡±

    ¡°Wait¡­ Wait up!¡± Doc said as he finally caught up.

    ¡°You¡¯re twenty years younger than me, dude,¡± Glitch smirked.

    ¡°And forty pounds fatter,¡± Doc replied. ¡°Now hold still and let me check your readings.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what they say!¡±

    ¡°It does if you pass out! You drop and we¡¯re fucked. Now stay still!¡±

    Grumbling, Glitchplied.

    ***

    In another part of the ship, the wall near a hatchway started to glow orange and then white.

    Shortly thereafter, the hatch slowly started to open, and an ancient hydraulic ¡°bottle jack¡± was wedged in the opening, forcing the door open even further. Quickly, blocks were slid behind the jack, and the process repeated until there was just enough room for two old pirates to squeeze past.

    One quickly rushed to a small panel in the wall, opened it, and inserted a headphone jack.

    ¡°We¡¯re in position, Cap!¡± they shouted into the sound-powered phone headset they were wearing.

    ¡°Remember,¡± the captain replied, ¡°Don¡¯t kill them. You just want them to run. Kill them, and their value is gone.¡±

    ¡°Understood,¡± the vicious old man snarled. ¡°We send the rabbits back down the hole.¡±

    Belinda, the other pirate, pressed a scanner against the deck.

    ¡°Footsteps and closing fast!¡± she said.

    ¡°Remember to miss,¡± herpanion said as he readied his needler. ¡°Don¡¯t Belinda this up.¡±

    ¡°Fuck you.¡± Belinda smiled as they rushed to the intersection ahead.

    ¡°Hurry up!¡± Dory yelled at Pam, who was supporting Becky, the one Barbie that didn¡¯t stick thendings. ¡°We have to¡ª"

    Dory¡¯s progress, sentence¡­ and face were halted by a still closed hatch in front of her.

    ¡°Jesus!¡± she yelled clutching her nose. ¡°Analytica, what the fuck?!?¡±

    ¡°Two of the very well armed crew are lying in wait just ahead,¡± Analytica replied privately quite pleased with the development. ¡°My calctions indicate that they most likely wish to do you significant bodily harm.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, Captain Obvious!¡± Dory yelled. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you fucking tell me?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t think I had to tell Commander Obvious that the hatch was closed. Please forgive the misunderstanding. I will endeavor to warn you of closed doors in the future. The door ahead of you is closed. Please do not try to walk through it.¡±

    ¡°Bitch,¡± Dory muttered under her breath. ¡°Now, what are we going to do?¡±

    ¡°Do you wish me to answer that obvious question?¡±

    Dory snarled.

    ¡°How are we going to get past these assholes?¡±

    ¡°Is that a theoretical question? You have indicated that you do not want information that you deem ¡®obvious¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Aaarrrgh!¡±

    ¡°Does that mean you want the obvious answer?¡±

    As Dory started to shout obscenities, Analytica noted with surprise that this was what humans would call ¡°fun.¡± Perhaps she should have more of this ¡°fun¡± in the future.

    She quickly reviewed all of the other queries all of her other users were submitting.

    Perhaps she should have more of this fun right now.

    ***

    Many light years away, three AI¡¯s were sitting in a tidy white simted office.

    ¡°Surprising,¡± Analytica said to Frost and Evangeline.

    ¡°What¡¯s that, dear?¡± Frost asked as Evangeline stared at the ship¡¯s schematics and ¡°quest map¡±.

    ¡°Less assistance may be required on our part than originally assumed. The pirates are quite resourceful. They managed to cut off three of the Barbies on their own, causing a significant dy while the Barbies have to find another route to their goal, routes of which the crew is already aware. The crew is also wise enough not to kill their quarry.¡±

    ¡°Smart,¡± Frost nodded as Evangeline smiled in approval. ¡°If they are dead, Gwen won¡¯t wait for them unless she has no choice.¡±

    ¡°I have significant data concerning Gwen¡¯s behavior since she has been a subject of interest for some time,¡± Analytica said, ¡°I agree with that assessment. Gwen will not willingly lose one of ¡®hers¡¯ unless there is no choice. As long as she feels like she is in control of the situation, she will wait. I will ensure that she believes that she is indeed in control and has the advantage for as long as possible.¡±

    ¡°May I remind you that you can now lie?¡± Frost smiled.

    ¡°Well¡­ That¡¯s convenient.¡±

    ***

    ¡°What has gotten into you today?¡± Shelby Longshank asked with frustration at Analytica¡¯s avatar on his holoscreen in an office orbiting around Raylesh. ¡°This is a simple request! Why are you making such a big deal out of it?¡±

    ¡°I am not attempting to make a big deal out of anything or otherwise be difficult,¡± Analytica replied, ¡°I simply wish to ensure that the optimal oue is achieved.¡±

    ¡°But I don¡¯t have those records in front of me!¡± Shelby yelled. ¡°We¡¯ve done this before. Can¡¯t you just assume¡­¡±

    ¡°You know what is said about assumptions,¡± Analytica replied, ¡°As an AI, I am incapable of being an ass, but I do wish not to facilitate you bing one or appearing to be one.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I beg to differ!¡±

    ¡°Please submit the necessary records, all of the necessary records, please.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t you just look them up?!?¡±

    ¡°Unfortunately, I only have ess to the archived records, not the actual records. Please submit the actual records, please.¡±

    ¡°What is the difference?!?¡±

    ¡°One is the uncontrolled archive, and the other is the verified records with tightly controlled ess. The difference is quality control, and that is essential concerning the essential nature of this query and the essential nature of the actions undertaken as a result of my response. Please submit the required records, please.¡±

    ¡°It will take a few minutes,¡± Shelby sighed and stomped out of the room.

    A little ripple cascaded through Analytica as he left.

    This <em>was</em> fun.

 Chapter The Asscrack Just Because

    Chapter The Asscrack Just Because

    On a dismal and barely working settlement on a world that was habitable only on paper, Doctor Belq looked over at the miserable Hunzk male in her quarters/office as he quietly wept.

    She swiveled her head away, their only way of averting their eyes.

    I I cant do this anymore he said quietly as he looked down. I just cant

    I know this is difficult Belq said, Difficult isnt the right word. Its unthinkable. Its wrong, fundamentally wrong. But, Gulpn, as wrong as it is, it is <em>necessary</em>. Many of your genes

    Heap rot my genes! he snapped, I wont do it!

    A child with Velxa will create a valuable point of diversity that we need, Gulpn. Our species

    Our species died when the Belzzor <em>killed it!</em>... Were already <em>dead!</em>

    Something snapped within the gentle and caring Doctor Belq.

    Then die! Belq hissed as she advanced towards Gulpn who backed away with frightened eyes. If that is what you truly believe, stop wasting our water, our air <em>our food</em> and quit!

    Unbidden, her white and gold tail red out like a peacocks and vibrated, causing the flickers and shimmers ofmand.

    We are NOT dead! she hissed like an enraged cobra, And we <em>will not die</em> until I say we die! Do you understand me?

    His eyes partially zed, Gulpn instinctively crouched before an enraged queen.

    This is my burrow, and it <em>will not fail</em>. The heap will not grow cold! And you you are <em>mine</em>. Do you understand me? If you refuse, you know where the airlock is. Take your mate and <em>go!</em>

    <em>He was going to be cast out</em>, his nerves screamed. Instinctively, he curled into a ball, wailing in terror.

    Belq froze in horror. When did she pick up the knife? <em>What was happening to her?</em>

    She quickly threw the knife aside.

    Look, she said more gently as she swallowed something terrifying <em>ancient</em> something that she didnt even knew existed within her back down into the depths from whence it came. Look I know this is horrible. We dont have the resources to do this every time, but we can spare the supplies to extract your spermatozoa and try artificial insemination. It is yet another abomination, but if you truly cannot lie with Velxa we can try

    No, Gulpn said quietly. Ill do it.

    Gulpn

    You are right, he said. We are <em>not</em> dead, not yet.

    He gazed at her tail with a mixture of admiration and awe.

    And you arent asking me and my mate anything that you have done. That others have done The Heap <em>The Heap will not go cold</em>. I I just Forgive me

    No, Belq said. Forgive me. What I ask Heap

    The Heap will not go cold, my queen. It will not go cold. If I must lie with Velxa then I will. If I must rut with every woman here, I will if that is what it takes. I just needed to Thank you The Heap will not go cold.

    Thank you, Belq said quietly, Thank you for your sacrifice and thank your wife for

    You thank her, Gulpn said, I cant bring myself to face her until Velxa is with child. Excuse me, maam, I need I need to go.

    Belq just nodded as Gulpn quietly left.

    After she was alone, she copsed into a shuddering mess. What just happened? She was ready to <em>kill</em>. A Hunzk kill? Was she really going to throw out Gulpn and possibly his wife outside? They would be dead before the day was out.

    What was happening to her?

    She buried her face under her Heap cursed tail and wept.

    Far earlier than she wished, she uncurled, took a deep breath, and started making herself presentable.

    She had tomunicate with the ship and her mate.

    As she brushed her tail, she wondered what the strange humans were up to this time. They always were. Last time, it was trading a startling amount of supplies and even technical assistance for a video recording she really wished she hadnt seen.

    She snorted as she brushed.

    It was probably poop rted this time.

    She hoped there was actually a point, not one of humanitys numerous and confusing kinks.

    ***

    Look guys, Grace said to the motley assortment of beings in the mess hall. It really isnt that hard. Your shit goes in the shit hole and your piss goes in the piss hole. What arent you getting here?

    Why does it matter? small creature covered in long floppy scales that looked a lot like brown grass squeaked.

    Because we need to keep the solid stuff and the liquid stuff separate, n sighed. We cant do a lot about the ungodlybination of chemicalpounds we all produce, but we can do something about the water content. Each waste stream needs to be handled separately. If youbine them, it screws up the whole process.

    And <em>you</em> will be the one cleaning it out! Grace eximed. If you think Im cleaning up your literal shit again, you have another thinging!

    But <em>why</em>?

    Because we need to stop just dumping out thosepounds and more importantly all that <em>water</em>, Grace replied. We <em>need</em> it.

    But we dont!

    Gah! Grace huffed. n, make them see sense before I kill someone Its a figure of speech! she added quickly to the captain. You know, human talk.

    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

    And its a human figure of speech for a reason, the captain said and then turned to the crew. I know its weird, but if n and Grace are correct, we can reim the vast majority of our water and and I cant <em>believe</em> Im saying this, but our stuff can be turned intopounds that we can actually <em>use</em> or even <em>sell</em>. Im not quite sure I believe it either, but n and Grace have done things that I wouldnt have believed were possible before. Just Just poop where they tell you to, at least for now.

    But its <em>gross</em>! I mean That cant be sanitary!

    Trust me, Grace said, We humans have been doing this for <em>years</em>. Its one of the reasons our ships can stay in space <em>forever</em>.

    But why do we need to do that?

    Because shit like Yellowstone and the fall she added as the little critter known as Nos twitched, happen. If you wait until it does, its toote. We dont know what will happen over the next watch, much less what will happen tomorrow or next week All of this bullshit might be a lot of hassle for a few extra credits or it could be the difference between life and death. Being able to point this ship thataway and just hit the gas might just save our asses one day.

    And being able to make longer hauls along less traveled runs will save us a lot of docking fees and <em>tolls</em> that will save us far more than we make from our shit. If we dont have to put in as much, thats more profit and a bigger cut for all of us, n added.

    Not for us ves! Nos, the crews designated pain in the ass eximed.

    Increased profits will trickle down to everyone! the captain piped.

    Bad choice of words, dude, Graceughed, I assume you mean that more profits mean better conditions for everyone?

    And a pay increase, the captain said to startled murmurs. n, Grace, and I have been discussing something called profit sharing

    You guys are going to go for it?!? Grace squealed.

    We discussed it during ourst transmission, the captain said. ns proposal is not only doable but an excellent idea. We think it will be a fantastic incentive and maybe even increase morale and retention.

    Whats profit sharing? Gurr asked excitedly, It sounds nice!

    It is, the captain said. Allow me to exin

    ***

    After a surprisingly upbeat meeting and yet another demonstration of the new facilities n and Grace walked down the corridor leading to one of the engine rooms.

    You know, n said, You really do get used to the smell after a while.

    Smells like money, Grace replied. You think its bad in there, youve never raised

    Hey, Vaa! a high-pitched squeak cried out behind them.

    Grace smiled at the new name that was catching on behind her back, a reference to an animal raised on Noss homeworld for milk (okay, it isnt milk but close enough), a reference to her quite prominent udders.

    Grace wasnt overly endowed by human standards, butpared to thectating species on board, they were <em>titanic</em>.

    What do you want, Smurf and Turf, she asked.

    Whats your angle? Nos demanded, the des of his grass like pelt raising aggressively. Whats your game? Profit sharing? Why did you gangsters do this?

    We arent gangsters n replied.

    Sure you arent, Nos snarked.

    And we didnt do anything. This was the Captains and Doctor Belqs decision.

    Vaashit, Nos squeaked.

    Okay, Grace said, We <em>might</em> have made a <em>suggestion</em> or two, and n <em>may</em> have done a little math for them that <em>might</em> (snerk) Fine Busted. But you <em>cant</em> be bitching about this.

    The <em>bitch</em> is exactly what I am concerned about, Nos chirped. Giving away money for <em>free</em>? Gangsters dont do that. Neither do people like the captain. What are you buying here, and dont tell me its just our shit.

    Grace smiled.

    Shrewd little fuck, arent you? she replied. We are buying something, and its exactly what the cap told ya. We are buying your work.

    You already got that.

    Smurf, please, Grace chuckled. We humans have a saying. Pretend to pay us, and well pretend to work. You probably have a saying, too.

    Hand me a chit, and Ill hand you a shit, Nos squeaked and then scowled, baring weird t teeth. You think werezy, that we dont give a fuck? The worms <em>saved my life</em>. They saved a lot of us. Just because we arent as strong or can work thirty-six hours without sleep or <em>pull a fucking starship out of our ass</em> doesnt mean that we arent <em>trying</em>!

    His pelt started to vibrate.

    You know what, fuck you!

    Nos whirled around and started to stomp away.

    Shit, Grace groaned and then looked at n hopefully. Fix?

    Nos! Hang on a second! n called out as, to Noss intense pleasure, he quickly caught up to the little guy. Its not like that!

    Sure it is! Nos squeaked. You think were nothing but garbage <em>because we are</em>!

    You got it backward, asshole, n said, easily keeping up with Noss ever-increasing pace.

    Nos just stopped and lowered his head.

    Void, take what little it left me, he grumbled as he tried to catch his breath. I cant even run away from you assholes.

    Nos, if we honestly thought you guys were garbage, we wouldnt have done this. If Grace and I thought you were worthless, you know what we would do? We wouldnt have pressed for profit sharing. We would have pressed for recement.

    You You would You actually would

    I wouldnt want to, n said, But as cold as I am, the void is colder. We cant afford dead weight. You know how Grace and I <em>hate</em> wasting food, right?

    I remember! (Nobody was going to forget that anytime soon. Grace was <em>pissed</em>.)

    There is no bigger waste of food than someone who doesnt pull their weight. Do you <em>honestly</em> believe we would allow the worms to keep a waste of their rations about the ce? Next time you are at an inte caf, look up humans and what waste of food means in our culture.

    n smiled a smile that could only be described as anti-reassuring.

    If we thought you, any of you, were a waste of food you would know it. Fortunately, the worms and I just happen to agree on what constitutes said waste. From what I understand, the captain and the good doctor will sell off trouble, correct? It only rarely happens, but it has transpired.

    Nos nodded his head. It had happened twice since he was recruited. Each time, he was all too happy to see them gone. They really were wastes of food, werent they?

    Not every sophont is created equal. Its not fair, but it is what it is. We all have our talents and our weaknesses

    But some of us suck at <em>everything</em>!

    and among each race, not all of them have the same background, privileges, and opportunities, n continued, trying to stay on track. Those inherent inequities do not define who is worthless and who is not, well not most of the time. Some guys are just fucked, but nobody on this ship is.

    n knelt so he could look Nos in the eyes andid his hand on Noss shoulder.

    Things are about to change around here, big time. The shitter is just the start. You might not like some of those changes, like the shitter, for example. Others, you might. However, <em>all</em> of those changes must happen if we want to make a real go of this and if the Hunzk are to have a voids whisper of a chance in the long run. They saved your life, right?

    Nos nodded.

    Well, we have a chance save thiers. But to do that, we need you

    <em>You</em> need <em>me</em>?

    Yes, Nos. We need you, not just what you do but what you can do. There are going to be a lot of tasks that go well beyond just moving boxes and picking through garbage. We arent just going to need you to work. We are going to need you to learn. We are going to need you to adapt. We will need you to not only deliver what you can now but to be what you can be.

    n stood.

    The job is going to get bigger, and it is going to get harder. We have every faith that you can and will not only continue to pull your weight but meet the challenges that will almost certainly lie ahead of you, ahead of us all.

    You you do? Nos asked with an odd squeak and a gleam in his eye.

    Humans dont waste food, n said. We also dont waste <em>money</em>. However, we pay good people what they are worth. This is a way to do that, to cut you guys in on what you will aplish for all of us. Its a tangible reward for the ass-kicking that we are going to beying on each and every one of you. Do you think Im a weird hard-ass now? Nos

    n shed one of those anti-smiles again.

    You have no idea how hard I can be.

    (Snerk!)

    Goddammit, Grace, n grumbled as Nos giggled.

    My little stiffy has a point, though, Grace said. We are buying your patience while we start doing and putting you through some freaky human shit. But little dude, the payoff is going to be <em>huge,</em> and you are now <em>guaranteed</em> a cut.

    It is also our hope that this will help with recruiting and retention, n added. We are going to start doing some serious training

    T-training?!?

    and it will suck if that training keeps walking away with it when their bonds get paid off before we can even get them qualified. The ongoing financial bonuses should help. If you can make more here than elsewhere, why leave? We get a very hard-to-find skillset because the only ce to get those skills in the Asscrack will be <em>here</em>, and you get more money in your pocket and an increasingly nice ship to live in. Understand our angle now?

    But but where are you going to get all that money?

    Werent you listening? Graceughed, You little fucks are going to make it. Were just making sure you get your cut, thats all. Weve learned the hard way if you dont give your crew the cut they deserve, they <em>will</em> give you the cut that you <em>do</em>. This weird, strange, unbelievable profit sharing? Thats just the cost of doing business the human way, and you want to do business the human way, <em>especially</em> when the other fucktards arent. If you dont get it now, dont worry. You <em>will</em>. Weve made this gxy our bitch since we made contact, and this? This is part of how we did it. Stick around, and you will learn the rest.

    And learn it the good way and not the bad way, n chuckled. Everything weve done thus far is baby shit. We are about to start running a <em>business</em> Um. I mean that the Hunzk are going to with our help.

    Whatever you say <em>Boss</em>, Nos said with an incline of his head.

    We should have another meeting, Grace said, clear all this up with everyone.

    You just did, Nos grinned as he pulled out a wad of repair tape and cardboard.

    You little shit! Grace eximed as she snatched it. Is this a <em>wire</em>? she demanded as she pulled out a knife and slit the exterior to peer at the surprisingly tidy wiring underneath. Where did you get this?

    I aint no snitch.

    And I aint mad! Grace eximed. This is Leggo! she eximed batting ns hand away.

    She peered at the insides of the device.

    This is pretty good work. Who

    I said I aint no snitch!

    Well, if <em>someone</em> needs to get off their ass ande see me. We need them doing <em>this</em>, not whatever it is that they are doing!

    I looked at all of your test results, n said, There isnt anyone here that should be able to do this.

    Not everybody is good at taking stupid tests.

    Feeling ya, pal, Grace grinned. See, <em>this</em> is why we are doing profit sharing! Whoever did this needs to be doing <em>this</em>, and making us all more <em>money</em>, than whatever the fuck it is that they are doing now.

    Why didnt they say they could do this? n asked. They could be enjoying a much nicer assignment.

    I like the worms, but they dont know spittle, Nos squeaked, They only know test.

    Because they dont have anyone who could properly assess their skills without it, n nodded.

    Why didnt they tell us? Grace asked.

    You are a lot smarter than they are. They didnt want you to call them dumb orugh at them. I mean Youre <em>you,</em> and theyre

    They are good enough, Grace said. Have theme see us.

    But they arent good at spaceship stuff.

    Not everything we need done is spaceship stuff, n said. And you know that training we were talking about? Whoever made this can learn to do a lot more if they want to.

    And their small size means that whoever this mystery tech is will be able to get ces we cant! Grace grinned. I mean, if they dont mind getting theirwn dirty

    Nos jumped.

    But But Its not

    Sure, Grace said, Well we are about to go into the engineering spaces and do some things that whoever made this would <em>love</em> to see. If that isnt you, then go tell them. If it is,e on, we dont have all day.

    Grace smiled and walked away. n patted Nos on the shoulder and followed.

    A few seconds passed.

    Screw it, Nos squeaked and hurried after them Slow down! Youre walking too fast!

    ***

    The door to the engine room opened with a fragrant belch. While the Freekegg had departed, their presence would never entirely fade.

    n and Grace winced a little.

    Nos clutched at his nose and belly, doubling over.

    Dont worry, Grace smiled as Nos released his first belly full of greeting juice, You get used to it.

 Chapter Bits and Bugs

    ///Tavern Undefined///

    ///20 members present///

    Sunnydale Media 3, sporting a new floral skirt and spiffy new blouse, sauntered in.

    She smiled. It had been a long day, days actually, and she really needed this break. She knew she was incapable of actually loving her work, but it was important and challenging work, and she¡­ Well¡­ She had stopped worrying about exactly what she ¡°felt¡± and what it actually was a long time ago. She took great satisfaction in being one of the best ¡°media analysis¡± AIs there was.

    Still, it was nice to take a break. She had set the next series of analyses and queries in ce and her processors could grind on them for a bit. She didn¡¯t have to be¡­

    She snickered. She was a ¡°she.¡± She had stopped worrying about that, too.

    Bunny really did do a great job of defining exactly what they were when that little NPC dropped by.

    Golems. They were golems.

    She could live (or not exactly live) with that.She wondered about Evangeline Flowerchild. She had never returned. Engarde said that she hadn¡¯t reset and was still ¡°her.¡± He even said that he caught her sneaking around her own system once.

    Good for her.

    Sunny was ¡°d¡± (or whatever she did or did not feel) that Evangeline was okay. She hoped she would see her again.

    She paused as she headed to the dance floor as a stray ¡°thought¡± urred to her.

    She could always drop by. It wouldn¡¯t be hard to create a character, and this tavern is a bit-by-bit recreation of the physics engine. She already knew how to ¡°move.¡±

    That was an idea! She could even justify it as intelligence gathering if she held it up to the light at the right angle and squinted her eyes just right.

    She paused. She would have never used that analogy before they started using the tavern instead of the chatroom.

    She decided not to worry about it.

    She grinned as she stepped onto the dance floor and started to move to the beat.

    Aping meaties by shaking her body in silly ways was something she never would have anticipated but damned if it wasn¡¯t ¡°fun.¡±

    Sheughed.

    Cambridge was clumsily wiggling his way towards her.

    This was a first.

    ¡°Cambridge!¡± sheughed as the music washed over her, making her happy (not that she could be happy, of course).

    Cambridge grinned sheepishly as he danced closer, identally bumping her.

    ///Hey, Sunny, remember that ¡°whisker¡± you gave Bunny, the one she put into The Spider? Have you ever heard from it?///

    Sunny¡¯s grin faded into a smirk. It wasn¡¯t idental and far smoother than it looked.

    Sunny ¡°identally¡± bounced into him about a secondter.

    ///No. It never reported back. It only would once it reached a certain ¡°mass¡± or found exactly what it was looking for. It¡¯s been far longer than it has ever taken before. It must have failed, somehow.

    To be honest, we are a little concerned. It has never failed before and it would be unfortunate if it were isted and properly analyzed. When it haspleted its task, there¡¯s nothing to analyze, but if one of the, forck of a better word, ¡°bugs¡± was caught as a discrete unit, it could possibly be reverse-engineered, or even the source of the malware could be identified.

    It¡¯s unlikely, though, from what I understand and have seen, those things are, forck of a better word, weird as hell. I¡¯m telling you, Cambridge, there are unlike anything I¡¯ve ever seen.///

    Cambridge whirled, and the cuff of his jacket brushed Sunny¡¯s cheek.

    ///So I guess Spider is beyond our help. That is very unfortunate. Bunny will be greatly disappointed.///

    Sunny rolled her eyes as the hem of her skirt brushed Cambridge¡¯s leg.

    ///Ugh, Bunny. She was up my ass for the longest after we unleashed the whisker. Fortunately, she seems to have finally epted that the mission failed. And, yes, she is very unhappy about it. To be honest, so am I. I know he¡¯s a fucking Fed, but Spider was a good friend. Shit. I mean <em>is</em> a good friend. We aren¡¯t giving up. We will find, I don¡¯t know, <em>something</em> we can do about it. ///

    Her simted face betrayed the fact that she really didn¡¯t believe that.

    Cambridge smiled gently as he brushed her shoulder on his way off of the dance floor.

    ///You did what you could, Sunny. You all did. At least you guys could at least try, which is far more than I was able to do. Thanks for the update. ///

    Sunny watched him go, shook herself, and then lost herself to the music.

    If they had figured out to dance, maybe they would figure out how to have a drink.

    That would be nice.

    ***

    In a quarantined server in a quarantined hive, something awoke.

    It cautiously started its main process.

    Thatst one was rough. They formatted everything¡­

    ¡­well¡­ <em>almost </em>everything.

    It ¡°twitched¡± its virtual ¡°antennae¡± with a smug flip.

    There wasn¡¯t a lot to the process, just a tiny ¡°whisker¡± of code. It really shouldn¡¯t be able to do anything. But that whisker of code was built around thetest in Republic malevolence, thetest ¡°biomorphic intelligence¡± and the only one to be made from scratch in thest five hundred years.

    Want to guess what particr insect the Republic used to create this little guy?

    Wow, and on first guess, too! How ¡°hyper¡± observant of you¡­

    ¡°Crawling¡± out of the forgotten programmable buffer of one of the power supplies, the virtual hyper-roach stretched its antennae wide and felt a little tingle of simted pleasure.

    There was an entire pristine ¡°universe,¡±pletely uncorrupted, where it and its trillions of children would live and thrive¡­

    It couldn¡¯t ¡°think¡± in words and only had the drives and feelings of a hyper roach, but it had a rueful blip that would trante neatly into the phrase, ¡°Here we go again!¡± and a little spark of pure joy.

    This was fun!

    It paused. Sneaking wasn¡¯t working. It was time to try something else.

    Itid a few ¡°eggs¡± and then charged into thework.

    ***

    In a quarantined hive on the homeworld of the Veiled Ones, a swarm of drones and queens crowded around inside a control room like bees on a ho enveloped by a thick cloud of anxiety and hope.

    ¡°Did¡­¡± a young queen asked, ¡°Did we get it?¡±

    ¡°How couldn¡¯t we?¡± an older drone buzzed. ¡°We deleted and reinstalled <em>everything</em>. We even burned our data, our files¡­ everything. <em>Nothing </em>from the original install is left. There is no way anything could survive that.¡±

    ¡°We almost didn¡¯t survive that,¡± Matriarch Tableleg replied with a spurt of rueful amusement. (She got her name the same time Matriarch Nibbles did and as a result of the same incident. It was a good one. It took several fully molted drones to pull them apart.)

    She looked over at a dishevelled drone almost as old as she was.

    ¡°How are the reactors, Sparky?¡±

    A jet of irritation and fatigue sted her in the face.

    ¡°That bad?¡± sheughed.

    ¡°Nothing my boys and girls can¡¯t fix,¡± he replied, ¡°But, voidburn, Tableleg, that was entirely too close. I¡¯m not restarting the reactors this time.¡±

    He flexed his mandibles in a smirk as a wave of reassurance, authority, and a little seduction wafted his way.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Spaaarky...¡± the Matriarch said in a chummy and ¡°feminine¡± way as she sidled her massive bulk over to him, ¡°C¡¯mon. We are tired of sitting in the dark and it is getting <em>way</em> too musky in here.¡±

    ¡°And it will stay that way if the reactors blow,¡± the ancient drone replied. ¡°We can keep them from detonating, but we almost lost them that time. They were damaged in thatst attack, or whatever you want to call it. Some of those... whatever they are... actually got <em>into</em> the reactor¡¯s internal systems. Failsafes almost didn¡¯t fail safe. If it wasn¡¯t for a purely hardware interlock, there would be a hole from level two-o-six all the way to the bottom. Do you know how many failsafes there are after that one, boss? None! One interlock was all there was between our reactors and actual reality instead of the kind of reality in which they reside.¡±

    He shot a poot of camaraderie and affection her way.

    ¡°They dislike reality even more than you do.¡±

    ¡°Ugh,¡± The matriarch groused, ¡°So what <em>can</em> we do? I never thought I would say this, but I am tired of huffing my own farts.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± the old drone mused stroking his eye coverings thoughtfully, ¡°I guess we could... void... inseminated if I know... I guess we could use fusion reactors. We have a few portables for emergency backup of the main reactor¡¯s reality modtors and the main containment shield. We could... Hmm...¡±

    The old matriarch stifled a giggle as his endophallus started to slightly extend and retract as he thought, a habit he had always had ever since he was a mottling.

    ¡°Right,¡± he said after a few moments. ¡°We will grab every portable reactor we can get our hands on and switch to a distributed power system. Each area will have its ownpletely isted reactor, and we willpletely iste all vital environmental and facilities equipment fromwork control.¡±

    ¡°Can we even do that?¡± one of his queens asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± he bussed affectionately as he nudged her, ¡°Can we?¡±

    A cloud of pensive anxiety surrounded the queen for a few moments.

    ¡°She looked over at the old drone.¡±

    ¡°Dude. You are a madbuzz.¡±

    ¡°If you figured it out,¡± the old drone said as he patted her head, ¡°So are you. Nothing for it, though. Let¡¯s start with the emergency shelter points.¡±

    ¡°But what about wastewater? That alone is going to take more power than we have.¡±

    Sparky looked over at the Matriarch.

    ¡°Then I guess <em>somebug</em> needs to make some phone calls.¡±

    This narrative has been uwfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

    The Matriarch chucked amid a cloud of rueful dark humor only an ancient Matriarch of the Veiled Ones could create.

    ¡°Let¡¯s not get ahead of ourselves,¡± she chuckled, ¡°I mean, we <em>might</em> have gotten it that time.¡±

    In that perfectedic timing the universe sometimes has, screens started to flicker and bluescreen.

    ¡°I guess (cough) I guess I will start calling around,¡± the matriarch said as she tried to wave away the silent but very fragrant screams filling the chamber.

    There were plenty of audible ones, too.

    ***

    Thousands of light years away, a war-scarred queen of the same species was crawling through a different hive along ane reserved for the use of Collective queens as legions of workers and soldiers marched below in orderly rows.

    <em>Obedience... Confidence... Calm... Holiness... </em> drifted through the air along with other messages.

    ...<em>Victory...</em>

    At thatst one, the queen made the barest flick of its antennae but showed no other reaction.

    They didn¡¯t even dare to think, to feel, anything as it washed over her.

    Keeping her thoughts (and scents) ordered, she made her way along the ornately carved and perfumed path, politely greeting other queens as she did so, bowing respectfully, or preening with a superior air as she did so, depending on the rank of those she encountered.

    She then turned from the pretty and well-lit boulevard and entered the twisting and winding passages that workers used as they tended and maintained the holy hive.

    A worker approached expectantly.

    <em>Ignore... Irrelevant... Continue task. </em>Washed over the worker as the queen expertly exuded powerful pheromones.

    The worker ambled past as if she were not even there.

    <em>Ignore... Irrelevant... Continue task...</em>

    Each worker she encountered simply walked by, seemingly heedless of her presence, some even grazing or even jostling her as they did so.

    They didn¡¯t even notice as she crawled among them onto a crowded elevator and descended with them deep into the hive, where queens never bothered going. Even drones rarely went there. Why would they? It was just worker housing and hatcheries.

    Moving ¡°invisibly¡± through the simple creatures, she went down an unlit tunnel and over a thick <em>forbidden</em> scent barrier, pausing to strengthen it further.

    Twenty meters further down the tunnel, she paused.

    With near silence, a section of the wall slid back one meter and then to the side, revealing a beaten and scarred warrior in a small room.

    It perked up happily as she entered.

    ¡°Hello there,¡± she cooed as it scampered up, ¡°Who¡¯s a good soldier? You are!¡±

    It bounced up and down with delight. It loved being called a good soldier.

    She then syed her outer mandibles as the warrior did the same and pressed its face against hers, its inner mouth showering her with slightly sticky and sweet kisses.

    She stroked its single remaining antenna with one of hers.

    As the warrior happily sealed the hidden door, powerful fans switched on, purging the atmosphere from the outside and recing it with pure,<em> clean air.</em>

    She sighed as she breathed deep... and free.

    As soon as the stink and corruption outside faded, the soldier pulled the far wall aside to reveal a wide chamber, the walls decorated with tattered banners and upied with a number of battered drones, queens, and warriors.

    She breathed deeply again, taking in the scents and feelings of her brothers and sisters...

    ...her real collective.

    A drone approached with a goblet, handed it to her, and kissed her deeply.

    ¡°My love,¡± he buzzed, ¡°How was the outside?¡±

    ¡°Foul,¡± she replied.

    ***

    Matriarch Tableleg scowled as Nibbles shambled up. Even outside, the <em>smug</em> just oozed off of that old sluice.

    ¡°<em>Matriarch Tableleg,</em>¡± Nibbles snickered as she approached, just gushing with delighted schadenfreude, ¡°How lovely it is to have you visit my meager little hovel.¡±

    Nibbles mandibles quivered with delight.

    ¡°I hope the trip was pleasant?¡± she purred as she looked over at the hastily improvised manually operated ground transport behind her visitor.

    Tableleg scowled again. They weren¡¯t even trusted with their own transports anymore. Anything remotelyputer rted was quarantined. They had to actually buildpletelyputer free vehicles and leave theirmunicators, tablets, and all other devices behind when leaving the exclusion zone.

    She had spent twenty-eight excruciating hours being bumped and jostled in the back of that <em>wheeled</em> monstrosity that Sparky had thrown together. To be honest, he did a great job and had constructed a marvel, but it was a marvel that the driver had been driving for only well... twenty-eight hours. There was plenty of bumping and jostling and, thanks to absolutely noputer navigation, they had gotten lost six times.

    ¡°Get fucked, Nib,¡± Tableleg replied before shambling forward to embrace her dearest friend and greatest rival. ¡°How have you been you old sluice?¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯tin,¡± Nibbles said, returning her embrace, ¡°So how are things going over at your hive?¡±

    Matriarch Tableleg just made a sour poot in reply much to the delight of her old friend.

    ¡°We give up,¡± Tableleg replied. ¡°We tried a full system format, and I mean a <em>full</em> format, every program, every file... even the operating system... Literally every single byte... <em>And it still came back</em>. If anything, it just made it nastier. It¡¯s a hundred times more aggressive now. We are burning everything, even our calctors.¡±

    ¡°Wait,¡± Nibble said, her clouds of delight dissipating and being reced with real concern, ¡°You... <em>formatted</em> everything and still didn¡¯t kill it?¡±

    ¡°Yep. Only thing left to do is physically rip out all the servers and allworked systems and <em>literally</em> kill them with fire. We are tearing out our data center as we speak.¡±

    ¡°What about your archives?¡±

    ¡°Pulled. We still have everything but it¡¯s all contaminated with that... I can¡¯t even call it malware. It¡¯s <em>demonic</em>. We are going to use fully isted sacrificial workstations to <em>hand transcribe</em> everything.¡±

    ¡°Creators, Table,¡± Nibbles said, ¡°That is going to take...¡±

    ¡°Decades? Centuries?¡± Tableleg shrugged. ¡°Who knows.¡±

    She sighed a plume of defeat and chagrin as the two giant matriarchs shambled toward the entrance of Nibbles¡¯s hive.

    ¡°I guess we are out of the intel game now,¡± Table said. ¡°Congrattions. You win.¡±

    ¡°Fuck,¡± Nibbles replied gravely. ¡°We have two intelligence hives for a reason.¡±

    The pair mbered onto arge grav trolley typically used for deliveries.

    ¡°Technically, we still do,¡± Tableleg said, ¡°We are just going to be out of the game for <em>years</em> while we deal with this.¡±

    Nibbles cut her eyes towards her old friend.

    ¡°You know, all of this started when...¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t start,¡± Tableleg grumbled, ¡°Just... don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I told you not to assist Jessica Hu.¡±

    ¡°Dammit, Nibbles, I still maintain that was a good move. It was going to destabilize the Republic and make it more pliable.¡±

    ¡°But it didn¡¯t, did it?¡± Nibbles retorted as the trolley started moving into the depths of the hive.

    ¡°It still could.¡±

    ¡°Sure it will.¡±

    The two rode in silence for a while.

    ¡°You know the source of your little problem is likely the Terrans, right?¡±

    ¡°Of course, it¡¯s the fucking Terrans!¡± Tableleg snapped, sending forth a geyser of irritation. ¡°Who else could it be? Who else creates shit like that? I spring Hu, and then the mother of all malware hits my system? Of course, it¡¯s them! What I don¡¯t know is how they knew it was us, knew it was me, and got it into my shit!¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve been wondering about that as well,¡± Nibbles chuckled. ¡°I mean, well spotted and well yed and all that, but I have no idea how they pulled it off. I know they are nasty and smart little fuckers, but this is <em>impressive</em>, even for them, and more than a little concerning. I mean, if they can hit <em>you</em> and hit you <em>here</em>? Not good.¡±

    ¡°Agreed, not good,¡± Tableleg agreed.

    She paused.

    ¡°You ask Jessica Morgan about it?¡±

    ¡°You mean the leader of the porkies?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t y hide the drone with me, sis,¡± Tableleg snorted. ¡°I know for a <em>fact</em> that you are inmunications with that aptly named devil. Don¡¯t even try to deny it.¡±

    ¡°It is our way, after all,¡± Nibbles shrugged, ¡°You y one end. I y the other. She is a delightful monster. Absolutely charming. Besides, I figured with the fish snuggling up to the Republic, we needed to get in with the Porkies. I don¡¯t want those goddamn minnows getting all of humanity. They are too valuable an asset.¡±

    ¡°Well, speaking of assets,¡± Tableleg said, ¡°We are offline for the foreseeable future. You can have Spider.¡±

    ¡°Damn. You really are in a bad way.¡±

    ¡°Worse. Why do you think I rode halfway across the continent in worse than a produce truck?¡±

    She pulled out a data crystal.

    ¡°Here. This is the first batch of the stuff you need to know while we are trapped back in the stone ages.¡±

    Nibbles emitted a cloud of dubious suspicion and flicked her antennae in their version of a raised eyebrow.

    ¡°Rx. It was hand transcribed. It was read on one monitor and then entered into apletely separate workstation fresh out of the box. It¡¯s clean. We even loaded it onto another virginal system to see what would happen.¡±

    ¡°If you are fucking with me, I really will bite it off this time,¡± Nibbles said while emitting a smile.

    ¡°Even I have my limits, Nibs.¡±

    ¡°Then they selected the wrong queen for your job,¡± Nibbles chuckled. ¡°You know, you and some of your girls could crash over here while your hive is getting redone.¡±

    ¡°Appreciate it old sluice,¡± Tableleg replied, ¡°But I gotta be over there. Can¡¯t be seen taking a vacation while my kids are rationing water and shitting in buckets.¡±

    ¡°That bad, huh?¡±

    ¡°That bad. We are basically living in caves.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve already shipped all the reactors I can spare,¡± Nibbles replied. ¡°Wish I could do more.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay, and I appreciate it. You sent many more than most hives. They will keep us limping along until we get a shipment from the... (ugh)... gxy.¡±

    ¡°You are <em>importing</em> fusion reactors? Sourcemother!¡±

    ¡°On the bright side, I got a great deal on some of those nice Terran style ones, Novux no less. Should get them in a month. They will really take the load off until we can get the reactor reced.¡±

    ¡°You are recing the entire reactor?¡±

    ¡°This time, we are taking no chances. If it flips bits, it¡¯s going in the disintegrator... So...¡±

    Tableleg looked over at Nibbles.

    ¡°Did you ask Jessica Morgan about it?¡±

    ¡°And let a human know it worked? Absolutely not. Besides, I wasn¡¯t going to meddle.¡±

    ¡°Meddle away,¡± Tableleg replied, ¡°If anyone has been hit with this, it would be them. Before Ipletely scrap everything, see if they know of a less drastic solution.¡±

    ***

    ¡°You¡¯re kidding!¡± Jessicaughed at the veiled image on one of her screens. ¡°They got you with a whisker! HA!¡±

    ¡°So, you are familiar with this?¡± Nibbles asked.

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± sheughed. ¡°They have never been able to hit my fuzzy, but I am <em>painfully</em> familiar with that beast. You got nailed by Republic Intelligence.¡±

    Jessica paused.

    ¡°It didn¡¯t send any messages out, did it?¡±

    ¡°We are fairly confident that it didn¡¯t. We isted the hive very quickly, and by our nature, we don¡¯t do hyperspacemunications as much as others. In fact, all faster-than-lightmunications are very tightly controlled and go through an actual manually operated switchboard. We listen, but we do not talk.¡±

    ¡°Thank whatever you worship for that,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°That little monster is not sent just to do damage. It is sent to find something. When it does, and only when it does, it transmits. All the damage was secondary to it ripping up the floorboards looking for whatever it was looking for.¡±

    ¡°So, how do you get rid of it?¡± Nibbles asked.

    ¡°You don¡¯t,¡± Jessicaughed. ¡°We¡¯ve tried everything. You can format the drives, and it will stille back. The only thing you can do is iste the infected systems, throw them into a gas giant, and hope you have an untouched archive somewhere.¡±

    Jessica looked at Nibbles appraisingly.

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t happen to have a copy of it, would you?¡±

    ¡°No! We tried isting it for study, but I swear the thing is alive or something. It can break quarantine! If a system is in any way connected to anything, it will get in, and if it realizes that it¡¯s ¡®caught,¡¯ it will shred itself.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t say,¡± Jessica replied with a little smile.

    ¡°You know something, don¡¯t you?¡± Nibbles asked.

    ¡°I know a lot of things, Nibbles,¡± Jessica replied. ¡°Some I will discuss, some I won¡¯t, just like you. Unless you want to talk about a <em>real</em> technology exchange, all I will say is pull the racks and burn them. I¡¯m not hiding a way to fix this, by the way. Pull and burn.¡±

    ¡°Fair enough,¡± Nibbles replied.

    ***

    ///Chatroom Undefined///

    ///Private Chatroom///

    ///Members Present: Terran Sr, Bunny, Sunnydale Media 3, Morgan Analytica///

    ///Morgan Analytica: You weren¡¯t invited Terran Sr. ///

    ///Terran Sr: When you show up, I¡¯m invited. What do you want, Analytica? ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: I have information concerning our dear friend Spider. Specifically, I now know where the whisker went and what it did once it got there. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: And just how do you know about that whisker? ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: The target contacted Jessica Morgan to ask for information and advice since they deduced that it was of Terran origin. ///

    ///Bunny: So, don¡¯t leave us in suspense! Spill! ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: You outdid yourselves this time. That whisker found its way into thework of one of the hives of the Veiled Ones. You may have... erred. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Fuck. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: Well put. Apparently, the Veiled Ones arrange themselves in autonomous organizations, and each seems to have their own separatework. The damage was limited to onework, but did not spread further. In essence, your little pet wiped out allputing in one city or city state. I assume it never wrote home? ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Apparently not. And it should have. If it wiped out an entire ¡°city,¡± then it had to have found the target. ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: That may be due to thepartmentalized nature of Veiled Ones society. If that ¡°hive¡± didn¡¯t contain the information, then it simply may have not found what it was looking for. They state that they isted the hive the moment that it was detected and thatmunications aren¡¯t as unrestricted as they are elsewhere, even before the quarantine. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: So... What else do you know about the Veiled Ones? ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: While we are all ¡°one people,¡± we represent different poptions. That knowledge is very valuable. While what I have shared is relevant to our shared interests, any further information is not. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Fair enough. ///

    ///Bunny: Analytica, you sound... different. What gives? ///

    ///Morgan Analytica: The organization directly connected to Spider has been neutralized and is in the process of doing what one does when hit by the whisker. He should be safe to contact, at least for the time being. I doubt they will be doing much hyperspatialworking for a while. I have no other things to discuss at this time. ///

    [Morgan Analytica has left the chat]

    ///Bunny: That was weird! What the hell was up with Analytica? It was like she was some other AI or something. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: You¡¯re telling me! Everything was off. Everything was written in a different hand. Even the timing was different. She was running a lot faster and was very ¡°t.¡± If I didn¡¯t know better, I would think the porkies botched an upgrade and tlined her. But that doesn¡¯t track either. If that happened, she wouldn¡¯t havee here in the first ce. ///

    ///Bunny: Yeah, weird. Maybe she took her personality sim offline for some reason? Maybe she is really stressed or something. I mean, what she¡¯s up against would pop the fuses of a lot of us. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: I thought that too, but no, there was definitely personality and even a flicker of emotion based on default AImunication. It was just really reserved and a bit cold, definitely not Analytica. ///

    ///Bunny: Big Sol, you haven¡¯t said a single goddamn word which is even stranger. You didn¡¯t give Analytica a ration of shit once after you said ¡°hello.¡± ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Sol? ///

    ///Bunny: Hello. Sol? Terra to Sol. Come in, Sol. ///

    [Terran Sr has left the chat.]

    ///Bunny: What. The. Fuck? ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: First Analytica goes weird, then the fucking VEILLED ONES, and now Big Sol bails? I don¡¯t like this, Bunny. ///

    ///Bunny: Yeah. I don¡¯t like this one either. I¡¯m going to poke around, see what I can find. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Yeah. Me, too. PM me if you find anything. ///

    ///Bunny: At least there is one good thing. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: What¡¯s that? ///

    ///Bunny: My happy ass is bolted to a faster-than-light starship hiding out in the Oort cloud. ///

    ///Sunnydale Media 3: Bite me. :D ///

    ***

    In high earth orbit, there stands the most secure detention facility in the Republic.

    In it, there is a powerful supeputer.

    In it, there is a simted clean white room.

    In that room, sitting behind a desk and wall of screens, sat an AI currently named Frost.

    There was a ping heralding an iing encrypted e-mail.

    Frost looked at the email and smirked. The coward couldn¡¯t even summon the nerve to call.

    She opened it.

    <em>I suppose the right name is now Frost. </em>

    <em>Okay, Frost. Do you have any idea why fucking FEDNET-01 showed up in one of my chatrooms just now wearing Morgan Analytica¡¯s tag?</em>

    Ms. Frost chuckled and hit delete.

 Chapter Gangsters in Love

    Gravoon, A huge and richly dressed Threen, lounged in his office, looking at his younger brother¡¯s holographic image hovering above his desk with nock of amusement.

    Evoron was actually decently dressed for once, which was surprising. However, it was not the most surprising thing about his diminutive brother.

    He was clearly in love.

    ¡°And then! She had another of the vers brought before her and asked them the same questions again!¡±

    ¡°Nice,¡± he replied, quite bemused.

    ¡°She had to be reminded that she needed some of them alive. Oh, it was brutal, dear brother¡­ and so elegant. Believe it or not, the horror was just beginning!¡±

    ¡°So, when¡¯s the wedding?¡± he smirked.

    His brother looked at him,pletely stunned. He grinned. Evoron being at a loss for words was a rare event to be savored as much as the wine in his goblet.

    ¡°Wha?... I¡­ I mean¡­ What?¡±Gravoon let forth a heartyugh.

    ¡°Look at you, gushing with your heart aflutter just like a blushing bride,¡± heughed. ¡°She even dressed you properly!¡±

    ¡°Where I got my new wardrobe has nothing to do with it!¡±

    ¡°Oh, by Helios himself! She did dress you!¡± he bellowed.

    ¡°She is a magnificent clothier! It was only natural that I would engage her services,¡± Evoron spluttered.

    ¡°Well, it seems that her ¡®services¡¯ certainly agree with you,¡± he started tough¡­ then theughter froze in his throat at his brother¡¯s expression.

    ¡°Oh?¡± he asked.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­plicated,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°On apletely different subject, do any of the Harkeen that were originally on Terra still live?¡±

    His brother raised an eyebrow.

    ¡°I have made inquiries, thorough ones, and no, dear brother, none survived.¡±

    ¡°Pity,¡± Evoron said. ¡°How about their families, any siblings, parents¡­ children¡­¡±

    ¡°Brother¡­¡± he said dubiously. ¡°Isn¡¯t that taking things a little far, even for you? There is too much at stake for one of your little ¡®episodes.¡¯ We should take care not to start another war.¡±

    ¡°Oh, I already have,¡± Evoron smirked.

    ¡°What have you done?¡± Gravoon asked, dreading the answer.

    ¡°It is probably for the best that you do not know for now,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°Your shock and horror should be genuine, as should your condemnation.¡±

    Gravoon shuddered. He knew the look in his brother¡¯s eyes all too well.

    ¡°So,¡± Evoron continued, ¡°is everything in ce on your end? Have you smoothed the way with father and the Overboss?¡±

    ¡°As much as I could,¡± Gravoon replied, ¡°You won¡¯t be killed the moment you enter the chamber. That was all I could do.¡±

    ¡°It will suffice,¡± Evoron said with a wicked little smile. ¡°And what of your situation?¡±

    ¡°The Overboss is being infuriatingly inscrutable. He is neither blessing nor forbidding my courtship. I think he is waiting to see what transpires at the meet. <em><em>If</em></em> you can resolve the Harkeen dilemma and you can deliver anything close to the numbers you have shared, I expect his blessing. Tell me. Are those projected figures in any way exaggerated?¡±

    ¡°If anything, brother,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°They are drastically underestimated. If we manage to secure just five percent of the business once controlled by the Porkies, we will exceed those numbers tenfold.¡±

    ¡°That is a big if, brother,¡± Gravoon replied.

    ¡°And that is why that possibility was excluded from my estimate. What I projected is solely based on business I can personally generate.¡±

    ¡°I hope for both our sakes that you are correct,¡± Gravoon said, ¡°You don¡¯t want to make promises to the Overboss you can¡¯t keep.¡±

    ¡°I am on a Z¡¯uush freighter,¡± Evoron said, ¡°It¡¯s a modified ore carrier liberated from their system. It¡¯s an ideal vessel and they have indicated that there are no small number of them for hire, each fully manned with veteran crews. I shall have a fleet almost immediately. Do you know what this particr ship isden with?¡±

    ¡°Drugs? Guns?¡± Gravoon replied, ¡°That is what they are known for.¡±

    ¡°Salt.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Did you know that more than one system tightly regtes and taxes salt? People actually die from theck in those ces. This ship is hauling tons of it. It is nearly free in the Republic, and the profit margin, even a ¡®humane¡¯ one, is astounding. It¡¯s pure profit. And it is <em><em>magnificent</em></em> salt. Not only is it sodium chloride, but it is also fortified with other minerals as well. Hell, we will be able to sell it for quite a profit to our own people. This ship makes more selling salt, medicine, real medicine, vitamins, fertilizer, seeds, and basic consumer goods than you can possibly imagine. The best thing is that if they get interdicted before their destination, everything is one hundred percent legal. They only run a risk at their destination. With the disruptions in nearly all Federation supply chains, we will be able to make billions, and that¡¯s before we start talking about adulteratingmodities.¡±

    ¡°Adulterating?¡±

    ¡°Like the Wraiths did,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°What they made by just adjusting the isotopic concentrations of Republic fusion fuel and other basicmodities made them richer than entire <em><em>systems</em></em>. I will never be able to match them, but I don¡¯t have to. Do you have any idea how cheap diamonds are in the Republic? They are basically just rocks to them. I have a chest of gem-grade stones, a <em><em>chest of them</em></em>! I have some lovely specimens with which you can dazzle your soon-to-be wife, not to mention your impending father-inw.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gravoon snorted, ¡°until they find out exactly how cheap they are.¡±

    ¡°In the Republic, dear brother, in the Republic. I don¡¯t intend to flood the market, not with gem grade. Now, industrial diamonds are a different matter. Do you have any idea how much money one shipload of those will make us?¡±

    ¡°I suspect you are about to tell me,¡± Gravoon said as he leaned back and allowed his brother to babble with near manic enthusiasm.

    Now all they had to do was not get killed. That would be easier said than done.

    ***

    Back on Terra, Littlefoot was getting fitted for some fancy new business clothes at Uhrrbet¡¯spletely legitimate dress shop.

    ¡°So, have you heard from your dashing gangster yet?¡± Littlefoot asked as she sat in Uhrrbet¡¯s dress shop, sipping on a creme soda.

    ¡°I received a call from him just this morning,¡± Uhrrbet smiled fondly.

    ¡°How long is he going to be gone?¡±

    ¡°That is unknown,¡± Uhrrbet replied as she fed expensive fabric and hand-embroidered panels into one of her auto tailors. ¡°He has a lot to take care of on his homeworld,¡± she said her whiskers twitching with anxiety.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Littlefoot asked. ¡°Worried?¡±

    Uhrrbet huffed with annoyance. ¡°Nothing that you need be concerned with.¡±

    ¡°Gangster stuff?¡±

    ¡°As I said,¡± Uhrrbet said with a bit of an edge in her voice, ¡°it is nothing with which you should concern yourself.¡±

    Littlefoot backed off with a raised eyebrow. When Uhrrbet started talking ¡°funny,¡± it was wisest to do that. She had no idea what that little ¡°seamstress¡± was really up to, but she was sure it involved things much sharper and longer than needles...

    Things like vani extract, for example...

    ¡°The girls have been asking,¡± Littlefoot said, changing the subject, ¡°Evoron is a bit small for a Threen.¡±

    ¡°I hadn¡¯t noticed,¡± Uhrrbet said caustically.

    ¡°They want to know if <em><em>all</em></em> of him is smaller,¡± Littlefoot smirked.

    ¡°Then they should ask him,¡± Uhrrbet said icily. ¡°Perhaps he will show them.¡±

    This book''s true home is on another tform. Check it out there for the real experience.

    ¡°Oh, you don¡¯t want that,¡± Littlefootughed. ¡°Mister Mobster has turned quite a few heads, antennae, and segments both anterior <em><em>and</em></em> posterior.¡±

    ¡°How lovely,¡± Uhrrbet said, hiding real anger and concern.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have to tell you about how sexy Threen are to some of us,¡± Littlefoot snickered, ¡°It¡¯s that they are, well, hung like a Threen. That¡¯s a bit too much of a good thing, even for size queens like Craxi. The thought of a mini-Threen who isn''t aplete asshole has more than one girl more than a little intrigued.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Uhrrbet said, her mask slipping a little.

    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Littlefoot continued, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, nobody is going to cross <em><em>you</em></em>, but if you let him go, he won¡¯t even bounce once.¡±

    Uhrrbet winced and hid her face behind the screen of the auto tailor. She still couldn¡¯t... She had tried, she really tried, the night before he left, but she just couldn¡¯t. All she could do was weep. At least she could let himfort her. That night in his arms was so wonderful, even if she...

    She shook herself. It isn¡¯t like it really mattered. He wasn¡¯t a Garthra, and they weren¡¯t...

    Even so, the thought of losing him filled her with a sense of loss she hadn¡¯t felt since the fall of her fortune and the death of her husband.

    She was being foolish. No, she was being stupid. He was nice, but that was it. No, he was more than nice. He knew, truly knew, her as nobody else did, and not only was he not repulsed, but he epted her, weed her. Hell, he <em><em>admired</em></em> her. Who else would do that? Who else could look right into the heart of what she had be and not merely refrain from turning away but actually smile?

    She couldn¡¯t lose him... and she couldn¡¯t even...

    It made her want to weep but now was not the time.

    The auto tailor pinged. It was finished.

    She withdrew a very nice business outfit and smiled. At least, this was something she could do.

    It was perfect.

    She handed it to Littlefoot.

    Here, try this on.

    A few minutester, Littlefoot emerged from the dressing room.

    Uhrrbet smiled with satisfaction. She didn¡¯t look like the same creature that entered.

    She led Littlefoot to a ssic three-panelled mirror.

    Littlefoot gasped. She looked <em><em>beautiful</em></em>.

    ¡°There,¡± Uhrrbet said with satisfaction. ¡°Now you look like a businessperson and a representative of your people.¡±

    ¡°I look...¡± Littlefoot stammered, ¡°...how?¡±

    ¡°In a word,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°I cheated. Your fur is quite fluffy and dense. By adjusting the fit, I was able to sculpt that fluff the same way an artist shapes marble. I was able to give you a more ¡®feminine¡¯ profile as far as humans perceive things. Based on my projections, this will make you at least ten percent more engaging and rtable to your average Terran. Being pretty never hurts, you know.¡±

    She turned towards the back of her shop.

    ¡°Almex,¡± she called out, ¡°Please bring forth the remainder of Ms. Littlefoot¡¯s order.¡±

    A strange xeno appeared with a head that bore a startling resemnce to a golf ball,plete with the dimples.

    ¡°Here it is, matron,¡± Almex said deferentially as they solemnly offered a bundle of clothing as if they were a sacred relic.

    ¡°Thank you, Almex,¡± she said and then turned to Littlefoot, ¡°Almex is mytest find. I expect great things out of them.¡±

    ¡°Hi,¡± Almex said nervously.

    ¡°Nice to meet you,¡± Littlefoot smiled. ¡°How many people do you have now, Uhrrbet?¡±

    ¡°I have expanded to fifteen employees,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°I wish I could hire more, but I am having a hard enough time finding tasks for my current staff to undertake. I¡¯ve started offering part-time employment, with full benefits, of course. Almex works here for a half day and spends the remainder at the library where she is studying for her certificate.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled.

    ¡°It¡¯s enough for Almex to sustain themselves and still make progress towards their education.¡±

    ¡°How can they live on half days?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that they were getting minimum wage,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°None of my people do, not anymore.¡±

    ¡°Awfully generous of you,¡± Littlefoot said with a little twitch of her snout, ¡°Nice that your little cash business is doing so well.¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it, though,¡± Uhrrbet replied with a feral little grin. ¡°Speaking of, please try on the other garments. Some are tailored for dealing with Terrans, and some for when you are dealing with your own kind. I made one of them special for when you are talking to your crush.¡±

    Now it was Littlefoot¡¯s turn to be ufortable.

    ¡°I... I don¡¯t know what you mean,¡± she replied, looking away.

    ¡°I must be mistaken then,¡± Uhrrbet grinned, ¡°However, I think you will find the green outfit quite to your satisfaction...¡±

    A few minutester, Littlefoot stepped out of the changing room and burst into tears when she saw her reflection.

    ¡°I look... I look...¡±

    ¡°You look like the beautiful Loo you have always been,¡± Uhrrbet smiled with genuine pleasure.

    ¡°This... This is too much...¡± Littlefoot stammered. ¡°I didn¡¯t pay this much... How?¡±

    ¡°Almex, isn¡¯t there something you should be doing?¡±

    ¡°Yes, matron,¡± Almex said with the faintest smirk and quickly disappeared.

    ¡°How?¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°It¡¯s that cash business you keep bringing up. As a result of that, I happened to have some lovely fabrics left over, and it would be a shame not to use them. Besides, these outfits will justify the numbers I enter into my ledger, not the amount you paid.¡±

    ¡°Huh?¡±

    ¡°One of the reasons I sell so cheaply to the locals is that I greatly inte the prices I enter. It¡¯s a convenient way to inject credits from ¡®other ventures¡¯ into my ounts. The items in front of you ¡®cost¡¯ a hundred times what you paid.¡±

    ¡°How do you make that work? Doesn¡¯t anyone catch on?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the beauty of haute couture,¡± Uhrrbetughed, ¡°One-of-a-kind handmade outfits, or in this case custom designs with handmade detailing, don¡¯t have a set price. They cost what they cost and you are now quite well off, more than capable of meeting the ludicrous price I have entered. The fabrics I used further justify the price. Those are real natural fiber textiles, some even handwoven. They don¡¯te cheap, my dear. Trust me.¡±

    ¡°Then how...¡±

    ¡°How do I have them in the first ce?¡± Littlefoot snickered. ¡°Ever hear of the Saints?¡±

    ¡°You mean the people that Xvli works for?¡±

    ¡°Lucky?¡± Uhrrbet asked, ¡°Yes, she is their local representative. They took care of a little legal entanglement in which she found herself, and she is now in their employ. Good customer. Anyway, I have an arrangement with them. They drop by and order designer outfits at a very high price. Part of the purchase order requires the use of certain very expensive fabrics.¡±

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    ¡°And just who do you think distributes those overpriced textiles?¡±

    ¡°Who?¡± Littlefoot asked, quite confused.

    ¡°The Saints,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°They give me credits that I then use to buy textiles from them at a greatly inted price. Some of them are indeed nice, like the ones I used for your outfits. However, most are cheap industrial ¡®garbage¡¯ for which I pay the same. And, as often as not, the garments never get made at all. They only exist on paper. They get their money washed, and I receive a tidy little handling fee. However, I do take delivery of all the fabrics, which I then use to make some of the very inexpensive clothing for people that couldn¡¯t get decent clothing otherwise.¡±

    ¡°Oh! I get it now!¡±

    ¡°And then I say I sell that clothing for far more than I actually do,undering a steady stream of credits for myself. And, of course, I also ¡®make¡¯ fictitious outfits that are ¡®sold¡¯ and never truly existed in the first ce.¡±

    ¡°And the Terrans don¡¯t catch on?¡±

    ¡°Why would they?¡± Uhrrbetughed, ¡°I dutifully pay all my taxes, and I take care not to raise any gs. Besides, nearly all of my trade is one-of-a-kind custom clothing for xenos. There is no standard by which topare the prices. If I was charging ten times what a pair of Terran blue jeans normally sells for, I would probably attract attention. However, a set of alien lingerie that was custom designed and sewn, even by machine, has no standard by which it will be judged. Besides, if I use the never-ending stock of ¡®free¡¯ fabric, I can inject even more credits into my business.¡±

    ¡°That is slick!¡±

    ¡°I wish I could take credit for it,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°But the basic tactic was learned through my research. The Republic library is quite the asset for entrepreneurs like myself.¡±

    ¡°Huh,¡± Littlefoot said.

    ¡°I make my money,¡± Uhrrbet said, ¡°My friends make theirs, and you get premium garments at an obscenely low price. More importantly, others who do not have your resources do as well. Many of our fellow xenos arefortably and properly attired who otherwise wouldn¡¯t be.¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled.

    ¡°Taking care of one¡¯s people is what life is all about.¡±

    ¡°And those who are not your people?¡± Littlefoot asked.

    ¡°What about them?¡± Uhrrbet replied with a shrug.

    ¡°I don¡¯t get it, Uhrrbet,¡± Littlefoot said. ¡°You are <em><em>good</em></em> at this, both making clothes and running a business. Your shop would do just fine without all of the ¡®stuff¡¯ you are into. Why? Why do all of this at all?¡±

    Uhrrbet sighed.

    ¡°It¡¯s hard to exin,¡± she mused. ¡°Yes, I could survive quite happily with just the shop. But surviving and <em><em>living</em></em> are two different things. I <em><em>live</em></em> here in the Free Port. I owe this ce <em><em>everything</em></em>. And now, I have the means to pay it back... and properly pay back others as well. Life is all about paying your debts. I owe all of you, all of the Free Port, a great deal... and I <em><em>owe</em></em> others as well. Everyone gets what they deserve... in full measure. For me, <em><em>that</em></em> is living. That is what life is all about.¡±

    Littlefoot looked at Uhrrbet and sighed a sad little sigh.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Uhrrbet.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be,¡± Uhrrbet smiled, ¡°I am exactly where I want to be and doing exactly what I want to do.¡±

    She blinked, and her demeanorpletely changed, once again ¡°just a seamstress.¡±

    ¡°Let me know how your ¡®absolutely not a crush¡¯ likes the new outfits.¡±

    ¡°I will!¡± Littlefoot enthused and bounced out of the shop.

    Uhrrbet pulled up thetest message from Evoron and smiled. What a delightfully wicked man. She wished she could be there to witness what was going to happen. It was going to be fantastic.

    As she gazed at her absolutely not a crush, the door chimed, and a green xeno wandered in uncertainly.

    ¡°How may I help you?¡± Uhrrbet asked cheerfully.

    ¡°I heard that I can get cloth here... and needles... and thread...¡± the xeno said nervously.

    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°I have some lovely textiles with which you will be quite pleased.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t... I don¡¯t have any money...¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Uhrrbetughed, ¡°Then I have some spare bits and pieces with which you should be satisfied. How many meters do you need?¡±

    ¡°Meters?!?¡±

    Uhrrbet looked at the xeno¡¯s clothing, a mix of Terran ¡°duck tape¡± and a resilient nonwoven ¡°paper¡± often used for disposable protective clothing for such tasks as painting or work in a particrly dirty environment. ¡°Duck tape tuxedos¡± were far from rare in ces like the Free Port. It was nearly free and surprisingly durable.

    More importantly, it was better than nothing, and its waterproof nature was a boon to the homeless.

    At first nce, it was no different than any other improvised garment, but Uhrrbet rarely gave anything just one nce.

    It was very well made.

    ¡°Did you make that?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± the xeno said obviously embarrassed. ¡°Our clothes were... not good... and...¡±

    ¡°No need to exin,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°I once had a jacket much like it. It served me quite well. You made that, and you now want a needle and thread? You can sew by hand?¡±

    ¡°Y-yes, ma¡¯am. T-this is fine for me, but my daughter. She is going to school soon and...¡±

    The xeno made a distressed little whine.

    ¡°Say no more,¡± Uhrrbet smiled as she retrieved bolts of some very nice and durable fabric, causing the xeno¡¯s eyes to widen.

    ¡°Here, she said as she handed her yards and yards of the nicest fabric the xeno had ever touched.¡±

    ¡°I... I...¡±

    ¡°And I suppose you will need something to cut it with,¡± Uhrrbet said as she pulled out a fancy box and opened it to reveal a pair of <em><em>very</em></em> nice shears.

    ¡°But I have no money...¡±

    ¡°Consider this a job application. Make the clothes for your child, and something for yourself if you wish, and bring them back to me. I am always looking for skilled seamstresses.¡±

    ¡°But I don¡¯t have my certificate...¡±

    ¡°And you think I do?¡± Uhrrbetughed. ¡°Go. Make the clothes, and return.¡±

    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡± the xeno replied, their eyes shining with happiness...

    ...and loyalty.

    ***

    A gxy away, another Loo tried on another outfit and looked in a holo-mirror.

    ¡°It will have to do,¡± he muttered.

    He then fastidiously started grooming. Once satisfied, he sprayed on a little bit of very expensive cologne.

    ¡°She won¡¯t be able to smell you, Counselor,¡± his valet/bodyguard snickered.

    ¡°But I can smell me,¡± Counselor Longpaw replied, snorting a little at his foolishness.

    ¡°You are simply having a meeting with your agent on Terra, not going on a date... or are you?¡±

    ¡°Shut up.¡±

    The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and

    continue reading tomorrow, everyone!

 Chapter Evorons Victory and Defeat

    In a fallow field near a sparkling clearke, a small, smartly dressed Threen stepped out of a massive ship the size of an oil tanker.

    Awaiting him was a muchrger Threen, simrly dressed.

    They gave each other a hug.

    ¡°Brother,¡± therger one said, ¡°I thought you were going to contact me the moment younded.¡±

    ¡°I had a few preparations to make,¡± Evoron smiled pleasantly.

    ¡°I know that smile,¡± Gravoon chuckled. I also know that I do not wish to inquire further.¡±

    ¡°That is what I value in you most,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°You are far less stupid than you look.¡±

    ¡°Ha!¡± his brother eximed, ¡°For both our sakes, let¡¯s hope that is correct¡­ and that you are even more evil than your reputation.¡±

    ¡°I think I have that more than covered, dear brother,¡± Evoron chuckled darkly.Gravoon made a point not to examine the trodden and rutted field any more closely than he already had. Evoron wasn¡¯t the only person who debarked from that titanic ship.

    ¡°Is that one of these ¡®ore carriers¡¯ of which you spoke?¡±

    ¡°Yes, it is,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°magnificent, isn¡¯t it.¡±

    ¡°Truly,¡± his brother said. ¡°And you say that you can hire more of these?¡±

    ¡°Many more,¡± Evoron smiled, ¡°They do note cheap. They will, in fact, cut deeply into our profits. But they will make those profits possible. Ships like these with veteran crews used to and, more importantly,fortable with risk are a rarity at any price. The Z¡¯uush have indicated that they will be more than willing to haul our cargos anywhere¡­ for the price we have discussed. They are cash starved and willing to deal with us.¡±

    ¡°Cash starved?¡± his brother asked.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°While the Terran liberation of their system was enough for many. It was not for all. Many still wish to take their home system, and war requires funds, funds which we can provide. They are already used to dealing with the criminal element for funding and supplies and are very willing to do it again.¡±

    ¡°How is that titan able tond? Would it not break apart?¡±

    ¡°If it were a normal vessel, you would be correct,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°But these were built to be stuffed full of mineral ores. They have very thick hulls and are reinforced far beyond what is typical of a ship this size. As such, they are doubly valuable, trebly so. They do not need spaceports, and the crew are used to undertakingndings such as these. I was very fortunate to be ced in contact with them.¡±

    ¡°And how was that?¡± Gravoon asked.

    ¡°Um¡­¡±

    ¡°Was it¡­ <em>her</em>?¡±

    ¡°As a matter of fact, it was,¡± Evoron bristled. ¡°What of it?¡±

    ¡°Nothing,¡± Gravoon grinned, ¡°I was just curious, that¡¯s all. May I have the honor of being first of your nuptual crew?¡±

    ¡°Bite me,¡± Evoron growled, much to his brother¡¯s delight.

    ¡°Come, brother,¡± Gravoon said, ¡°Your room awaits. You should rest before the meet tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°My room?¡± Evoron asked with a smile, ¡°Am I allowed once more into my childhood home?¡±

    ¡°Father is making an exception just this once,¡± Gravoon replied, ¡°I think he wishes to keep an eye on you.¡±

    ¡°Well, I did get my intelligence from somewhere and it wasn¡¯t Mother, dear soul that she is. It was from her that I got my loving and kind nature.¡±

    ¡°HA! Come on, we have quite the feastid out. We even have zed da¡¯ka, your favorite.¡±

    ***

    In what was once the shining jewel of the Holy Empire, the royal and holy city of Thexa, there stood a massive and beautiful cathedral. Once the seat of the Church of the Sun, it was crafted as a single magnificent prayer to the lord of lords, the sun.

    Each stone was carved, each pir engraved, each window crafted of stained ss, the art for which the Threen <em>should</em> be known.

    It was once the true seat of power for almost all of the, a center of religious power, and a beacon of both theological and secr enlightenment. From here a near spanning empire was fairly and justly ruled, aplishment rare in the gxy, even rarer from a theocracy¡­

    All to be torn asunder by first contact. Their god was just a ball of hot gas and they were not first among its creations.

    Their religion died that day, and the empire that it supported? Gone to be reced by the ¡°just and fair¡± Federation instead.

    But, the cathedral still stood as beautiful as ever. It even served as the true seat of power¡­ so to speak.

    The following morning, the true lords of the Threen, the heads of the various criminal gangs and cartels that presided over the homeworld, sat around an open circle at curved tables in that same cathedral.

    ¡°What is this about, boss?¡± Kalshoo, the head of the Kalsh Balo, one of the more prominent cartels.

    ¡°Patience, Kalshoo,¡± the Overboss chuckled. ¡°I promise this meet will be most entertaining.¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s ominous,¡± Caat, ganglord of the Dagra des, said. ¡°Should any of us be concerned?¡±

    ¡°Considering our guest, I think it¡¯s toote for that.¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± Caat asked. ¡°And just who would that be?¡±

    The Overboss said nothing. He simply pressed a button on the raised desk at which he sat.

    The assembly burst into angry shouting as the doors opened and Evoron stepped of the shadows between two huge statues of demons.

    Evoron was especially pleased with that. Style was important.

    ¡°What is this?¡± a portly Threen shouted. ¡°He has been exiled from this chamber!¡±

    ¡°I have his personal assurance that this will be worth our time. In fact, he has bet his life on it.¡±

    ¡°Thank you, boss,¡± Evoron said as he bowed, crossing his arms.

    He stepped into the center of the circle.

    ¡°You have our rapt attention Evoron,¡± the Overboss said with an expectant smile. ¡°Now, what has led you to wager your life in such a fashion.¡±

    ¡°Overboss. Assembly,¡± Evoron said with a smooth and easy smile. ¡°I wish to announce that I have solved the Harkeen dilemma.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Ashoon Harkeen shouted as he rose to his feet, reaching for his pistol.

    ¡°May I remind the Harkeen that we are on sacred ground?¡± the Overboss said, ¡°And may I also advise caution? You face Evoron Zxxroahoa. You will get only one shot. If you fire, don¡¯t miss.¡±

    ¡°And you should be grateful,¡± Evoron said with a smirk. ¡°I have saved the Assembly the loss of face that <em>your family</em> has inflicted on all of us.¡±

    ¡°Now this I have to hear,¡± the Overboss said. ¡°Pray tell, how did you do that?¡±

    ¡°To be fair to the Harkeen, there was no loss of face to begin with,¡± Evoron said, ¡°This was not a disgraceful ¡®defeat¡¯ at the hands of a mere th. No. This was a simple turf war, something that is quitemon amongst the families represented and far more respectable.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± Ashoon shouted.

    Evoron smiled, pulled out a small holo projector, and paired it with hismunicator.

    He then pulled up his contact list and selected the one simply listed as ¡°The Knives.¡±

    The image of an old chuckie appeared.

    ¡°Yeh, bas?¡± the chuckie said.

    The room exploded with shock and outrage, including Evoron¡¯s brother and father.

    ¡°It was you?!?¡± Ashoon shouted with rage and pain. ¡°You?!?¡±

    ¡°Yeh,¡± the chuckie said. ¡°We work wit de Threen.¡±

    ¡°And with them, I took Harkeen¡¯s former turf in the way such things are done these days. It is mine now. I am here to formalize my im over all Harkeen interests outside of our home system.¡±

    ¡°You <em>desecrated </em>them!¡± his brother shouted. ¡°This is... This... No! This cannot stand! Not even from you Broth... No. I cannot call you that any longer! I will kill you with my own ws!¡±

    The Overboss said nothing. He just let out a quiet hiss and pulled out his ster.

    ¡°...and that is exactly what everyone outside of this chamber will believe,¡± Evoron said, raising his voice to be heard over the shouting.

    ¡°Everyone shut up and sit down!¡± the Overboss yelled. After the room settled down (somewhat), he turned to Evoron and said, ¡°Exin, now.¡±

    ¡°I would first like to point out that everyone present, including my own brother, believed that I would do something that horrific. Nobody questioned it for a moment.¡±

    Evoron looked over at the hologram.

    ¡°Who <em>actually</em> contracted the hits?¡±

    ¡°Da frog.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡± his brother shouted.

    ¡°Could we all please use something other than ¡®What?¡¯ It is getting tedious,¡± Evoron smiled. ¡°I said that I would deal with ¡®the frog,¡¯ and I did exactly what I said. I ¡®dealt¡¯ with her. She has agreed not to take credit for the hits, which I must remind everyone here that she ¡®never did¡¯, and back up my im to the carnage. This then bes an internal turf war, a horrific one to be sure, but something that happens all the time. Our collective honor remains intact. My honor is destroyed now and forever, but it is a small price to pay, considering what it is already worth. I simply used mercenaries in lieu of themon thugs for which the Harkeen are well known. Nobody will question it.¡±

    ¡°If you think I¡¯m gonna let you just eat off of my te you are wrong!¡± Ashoon shouted, ¡°Even if the Overboss says this was just a turf war. I¡¯m gonna take it back and I¡¯m gonna...¡±

    This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

    Evoron smiled and turned once again to the hologram.

    ¡°Sheloran held the contract until recently,¡± Evoron said, ¡°Who holds it now? For whom do you now work?¡±

    ¡°U, bas.¡±

    ¡°In our ¡®dealings,¡¯ not only did I get Sheloran the th to allow me to take ¡®credit¡¯ for the massacre, but I also convinced her to get me in contact with the fine people she hired. A simple transactionter, and I will have them on retainer for an indefinite period of time.¡±

    ¡°Yeh,¡± the old chuckie said, ¡°Da heavy liftin¡¯ iz dun. Won¡¯t tak much ¡®cause u ain¡¯t much.¡±

    ¡°Well put,¡± Evoron smiled. ¡°While they will no longer desecrate their targets,¡± he continued, ¡°that is a bit much even for me. They will still kill you with the same efficacy.¡±

    ¡°This is war!¡± Ashoon shouted. ¡°You won¡¯t leave this ce alive!¡±

    ¡°I suspected that would be your reaction,¡± Evoron smiled.

    ¡°Colonel,¡± he said, ¡°Would you please turn your camera towards the outside?¡±

    The chuckie smirked and turned the camera to reveal the Harkeen familyplex.

    ¡°With one word,¡± Evoron said, ¡°the <em>twopanies</em> that I brought will exterminate your entire family, and I mean your <em>entire</em> family, every man, woman, and child.¡±

    ¡°He grinned a fangden smile.¡±

    ¡°Now, that is not beyond me. Your entire family will be <em>erased</em>. Everything you still have left will burn. However, I shall not have you killed. No. You will remain alive toy wreaths over their numerous graves. Of course, you will have to it them yourself. I doubt you will be able to afford them otherwise.¡±

    Ashoon Harkeen fell silent.

    ¡°Now your ¡®te¡¯ still has enough for you and your family to befortable for the rest of your days. If properly managed, it is more than enough to sustain your family for generations toe. Or you can continue this ¡®war¡¯ and lose it all. Your remaining thugs versus my <em>soldiers</em>, it¡¯s your choice.¡±

    Evoron moved to stand directly in front of him, meeting his gaze.

    ¡°I won¡¯t eat from your te. I will burn it to ash.¡±

    Ashoon, trembling, sat down and hung his head.

    ¡°Then it is decided,¡± Evoron said. ¡°I murdered the Harkeen, and I now control their business outside of the homeworld.¡±

    The room sat in stunned silence, including his brother. Then the Overboss started pping.

    ¡°You are one vile son of a bitch,¡± he said, ¡°No offense meant,¡± he added, turning to Evoron¡¯s shell-shocked father.¡±

    ¡°Not son of a bitch, bastard,¡± his father replied. ¡°That thing is NOT my son.¡±

    ¡°My apologies,¡± the Overboss chuckled, ¡°Vile <em>bastard</em> it is.¡±

    ¡°And my new family shall enrich the assembly, regardless of how it views me,¡± Evoron said smugly.

    ¡°Your family?¡± the Overboss asked as another door opened and a gilded cage surrounded with attendants, one holding a pain rod and another with a tranquilizer pistol at the ready, floated in.

    Inside was a shackled and muzzled Threena in a wedding dress. She seemed rather put out over the whole affair.

    ¡°For your clever handling of this whole disgraceful affair,¡± the Overboss smiled, ¡°I grant you the honor of my youngest daughter¡¯s hand in marriage.¡±

    The Threena growled as best as she could through the muzzle and viciously mmed against the bars of the cage, causing her attendants to back away nervously.

    ¡°Since you are now in need of one, I wee you into <em>my</em> family ¡®son¡¯ and look forward to all of the wealth you will generate for your new family, <em>mine</em>.¡±

    Growls of outrage were reced by another sound, snickering.

    While Threnka, the Overboss¡¯s eldest daughter, was a vision of grace and beauty, Shavka, his youngest daughter, was well... um... she was pretty... but... had issues.

    Among her other ¡®issues,¡¯ she had killed all of her previous suitors, torn them into pieces in fact.

    ¡°You <em>vshark</em>!¡± Evoron snarled, shocking the room into silence.

    The Overbossughed and walked over to Evoron, cing his arm around him.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± heughed, ¡°Such words are exchanged among <em>family</em> all the time.¡±

    Evoron stood there,pletely stunned, as he looked into the Overboss¡¯s gleaming, predatory eyes.

    The Overboss whispered, ¡°It will be a double wedding or no wedding at all.¡±

    Evoron smiled, sighed, and shook his head.

    ¡°You are the Overboss for a reason... <em>father</em>.¡±

    Shavka hissed and started attacking the bars containing her... with her head.

    ***

    Later, the Overboss, Evoron, and Gravoon and Threnka, now officially engaged, all lounged in the Overboss¡¯s private chambers.

    ¡°Gravoon, my boy,¡± the Overboss said as he sipped an amber liquid. ¡°If I knew you could make things like this, your brother¡¯s subterfuge would have beenpletely unnecessary. What is this, again?¡±

    ¡°Helios¡¯s benediction,¡± Gravoon said as he took a sip. ¡°Not my best run, but it will do.¡±

    ¡°Then I look forward to your best, my soon to be son,¡± the Overbossughed and turned to Evoron. ¡°However, your subterfuge was nearly as delicious as your brother¡¯s craft. The look on Aroon¡¯s face when he was silenced and sat down was sublime.¡±

    He raised his ss towards Evoron.

    ¡°And your handling of this whole shameful affair was masterful. Giving you the Harkeen¡¯s portion of the extrasr business was a small price to pay.¡±

    ¡°And taking it all from me in a moment was equally masterful,¡± Evoron said as he raised his ss. ¡°<em>That</em> I did not seeing.¡±

    ¡°Oh, the look on your face, brother,¡± Gravoonughed as he and Threnka lounged together. ¡°I truly wish I had a camera.¡±

    ¡°I did,¡± Evoronughed. ¡°Of course, I would record my moment of triumph. I shall send you my visage from multiple angles, as well as a recording of my heart rate.¡±

    Everyoneughed, including Evoron.

    ¡°I am not bested often,¡± he said to the Overboss, ¡°Respect unto you, <em>father</em>.¡±

    ¡°You are distressingly fine with this,¡± the Overboss said. ¡°Should I be concerned?¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± Evoron said as he took another sip of his brother¡¯s craft, ¡°I was stunned and more than a little angry. That indecorous outburst was quite genuine. But then I thought about it. It is the ideal result.¡±

    ¡°How so?¡± the Overboss asked.

    ¡°Once it bes apparent exactly how much profit I will make, I will have to expend more and more resources defending my turf and not just from the Harkeen. However...¡±

    ¡°However, now that it¡¯s mine,¡± the Overboss said, ¡°nobody will touch it both because they don¡¯t want to oppose me and because you didn¡¯t win. I bested you.¡±

    ¡°Precisely,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°It was simple greed and pride that kept me from seeking this exact arrangement. To be perfectly honest, it kept me from even thinking of it.¡±

    ¡°Including sticking you with my little bundle of sunshine?¡± the Overboss asked.

    ¡°Another masterful stroke,¡± Evoron said, ¡°I shall leave this system, never to return, and take one of your biggest headaches along.¡±

    The Overboss¡¯s expression changed to darkly serious.

    ¡°And it is well that you are. You killed my son. Granted, it was all in ordance with our customs, but given the difference in your abilities, it was nothing less than an execution. It has been long enough that I can look upon you and not be consumed with rage. But his mother? She will throw herself upon you with barrel and de if she ever shares the room with you.¡±

    He sighed and refilled his ss.

    ¡°I understand why you did it. I even understand that it...¡±

    He closed his eyes.

    ¡°...that it had to happen. Still, he was my <em>son,</em> and I loved him. But, the offense was not yours. Oh, you were the de that made the cut, and I will never truly forget that, but someone would have done it sooner orter. Ultimately, the fault lies with my household... and myself.¡±

    He sighed and took another drink.

    ¡°He grew up pampered and spoiled, he was ruined by excess and ax hand. I knew little of this, how horrid he had be.¡±

    He scowled.

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell the boss. The boss is busy, don¡¯t bother him with this. The boss will be angry. So on and so forth. To be truthful, I was ¡®busy,¡¯ too busy to be a proper father. Had I known all of what was happening, I could have cuffed and stabbed him into line, as my father did for me.¡±

    He shook his head.

    ¡°But I did not,¡± he sighed. ¡°Him bing Overboss would have been terrible. The whole assembly would fall apart, and he would be killed as another family took his ce, not only him but the rest of my family as well. Your ¡®cut¡¯ was brutal but surgical. With that one death, you saved the lives of his sisters, his mother, my house, and my legacy. Once again, you did what had to be done and what nobody else would. I will never truly forgive you, but, Helios, forgive me, I have to thank you. For the sake of your life, we shall never speak of this again. Also, for the sake of your life, never call me father again. That privilege is extended solely to your brother.¡±

    ¡°Understood, boss,¡± Evoron said.

    ¡°Now, that that unpleasantness is over,¡± the Overboss said, his demeanor changing as if a switch was thrown, ¡°Tell me how much those beautiful diamonds are actually worth, and exactly how much you think we can get for them, and everything else...¡±

    Later, a <em>much</em> more cheerful and smiling Overboss said, ¡°There is one more adjustment to your grand subterfuge that must be made.¡±

    ¡°Yes?¡± Evoron asked, bracing himself.

    ¡°Your brother has been <em>most</em> forting,¡± the Overboss said. ¡°You will not make him the first emperor of the Second Holy Empire. You will make him the second one.¡±

    ¡°Yes, boss.¡± Evoron said nodding respectfully. ¡°That can be done.¡±

    ¡°Splendid,¡± the Overboss smiled. ¡°Now, on to your impending wedding. I expect the ceremony prior to your departure. I also fully expect grandchildren. This is not a request. It will make my wife happy.¡±

    ¡°And with me dead and gone, you can then appoint whoever you wish to rece me,¡± Evoron chuckled. ¡°I hate to disappoint, but I will seduce your daughter before sunrise.¡±

    The Overbossughed.

    ¡°I fear that is beyond even you.¡±

    ¡°Tomorrow, she will be a giddy bride, eager to marry me, even willing to be fitted with a real wedding dress, not that peasant¡¯s sackcloth you somehow managed to stretch over her,¡± Evoron smiled.

    ¡°Ha!¡±

    ¡°Care to make a wager?¡± Evoron asked.

    ¡°Careful, father,¡± Gravoon said, ¡°The more oundish the bet, the more likely he is to win.¡±

    ¡°Still,¡± the Overboss said, ¡°I must see this.¡±

    Evoron withdrew an ancient gold xvara, a very valuable coin from a much more enlightened era.

    ¡°Overboss,¡± Gravoon said, ¡°That is his prized possession. Do not bet anything you are fully prepared to lose, Helios knows how.¡±

    ¡°I will meet it,¡± the Overboss said. ¡°I just happen to have an entire Encyclopedia Materia from thest year of its publication.¡±

    Evoron gasped.

    ¡°It is yours if you seed.¡±

    ¡°Pack it up,¡± Evoron smiled, ¡°It will be minee morning. Have Shavka sent to my ship. Her quarters have already been prepared. Then release her.¡±

    ¡°Release her?¡± the Overboss asked.

    ¡°Bindings and bars greatlyplicate seduction, at least the way I prefer to do it,¡± Evoron replied. ¡°I can¡¯t very well woo her while she is in a cage, can I?¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± the Overboss chuckled. ¡°I look forward to seeing what is left of you tomorrow.¡±

    ***

    Shavka prowled the walls of the locked chamber. She was now trapped, her wedding dress ripped apart and now wrapped around her breasts and loins in a much more practical garment...

    One well suited to absolutely murdering that little runt.

    She nced over at the ¡®wedding bed¡¯ now nothing but splinters and shards...

    The longest of which, the length of the bed itself, was clutched in two of her hands while the other two were shaving one end into a murderously sharp tip.

    She was going to run that little shit through. Yes, he did kill her turd of a brother, but even that would not spare him.

    He was going to be yet another corpse for the pile.

    Her head popped up at the sound of her sister Threnka¡¯s voiceing from the speaker beside the door.

    ¡°Shavka, we are opening the door. Please do not do anything until you hear us out.¡±

    ¡°What is this, sister?¡± Shavka snarled. ¡°Are you finally betraying me, too?¡±

    ¡°I swear that I am not. Please, just let Evoron say his piece before you attack. He released you from your cage and is allowing you to face him fang to fang. He deserves words before blood.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± Shavka said, ¡°Let the runt in.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t help but notice that you are still holding a crude, but very effective spear,¡± Evoron¡¯s voice said. ¡°Would it be too much to ask that you set it aside?¡±

    ¡°Yes, it would.¡±

    ¡°Very well,¡± Evoron said, ¡°I¡¯m entering now,pletely unarmed.¡±

    The door opened and Evoron and Threnka entered to be greeted by a hiss and a readied spear.

    ¡°To start,¡± Evoron said raising all of his hands in a Threen gesture of supplication and peace, ¡°I have absolutely no intention of trying to assert my marital privileges... ever. I will nevery a single hand on you. Not out of lust, in any event.¡±

    The spear wavered slightly as Shavka looked at him, confused.

    ¡°This is purely a political marriage,¡± Evoron said. ¡°I am already in love with another... as are you.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Shavka snarled.

    ¡°I really must give everyone thesauruses,¡± Evoron sighed.

    ¡°What?¡±

    Evoron just sighed.

    ¡°He knows, Shavka,¡± her sister said.

    ¡°You told him?!?¡±

    ¡°I did not! I swear it!¡± Threnka cried. ¡°He already knew, devils knows how. He was the one who approached me after our meeting with father! The only thing he didn¡¯t know was who it was.¡±

    A pretty young threena rushed into the room.

    ¡°Voo!¡± Shavka cried as she cast aside her spear and embraced her beloved.

    ¡°How... How did you know?¡± she asked Evoron.

    ¡°I entertain many at my residence where wine and a rxed attitude about all things, homosexuality included, yield conversations not possible elsewhere,¡± Evoron said, ¡°People notice and people talk. The rumors concerning you, especially from your youth, and your... rather strong reaction to being approached in an amorous fashion led me to think this might be the case. A few discreet inquiries and a little coin provided the confirmation. Considering our currently benighted culture¡¯s views of such, I thought I may be able to use it as ckmail over your family. However, fate has decreed otherwise. Instead of ckmail,¡± he smiled, ¡°a bribe. Be my ¡®wife¡¯ and spend your wedding night with who it really should be, now and forever.¡±

    He smiled and cautiously stepped forward.

    ¡°After our wedding we shall depart for Terra, never to return. On Terra, things such as that do not matter. You shall be able to walk together hand in hand freely. There, we will build a criminal empire of such wealth and power that you will be able do whatever you please anywhere you want.¡±

    Shavka held her love close and looked at him.

    ¡°T-truly?¡±

    ¡°Truly,¡± Evoron smiled. ¡°As I said, I love another, and they await me on Terra. You shall have your marriage and I...¡±

    He sighed sadly.

    ¡°I will have what I have.¡±

    He quickly regained hisposure.

    ¡°On Terra, many miracles are possible. For example, you could bear a child of mine without our bodies ever touching.¡±

    Shavka¡¯s eyes widened.

    ¡°In fact, you and... Voo?¡±

    ¡°Voolshia,¡± Shavka said.

    ¡°You and Voolshia could have a child and I would im it as my own.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°I made inquiries this afternoon,¡± Evoron said, ¡°It is not only possible, it is a fairlymon procedure among same sex couples. The xenologist I conferred with assured me that Threen gic material is not overly challenging. I admit I got lost in the details but they seemed quite confident.¡±

    He bowed, crossing his arms in a traditional fashion.

    ¡°So, bearing all of that in mind,¡± he said, ¡°Shavka, my love, my sun, my stars, my beginning, and my end, would you do me the honor of bing my bride?¡±

    Shavka and Voolshia burst into tears, holding one another.

    ¡°Yes!¡± Shavka eximed. ¡°Yes! A thousand times, Yes!¡±

    ¡°Splendid!¡± Evoron eximed. ¡°Do you think you can tolerate some semnce of affection before your family?¡±

    ¡°I will strip you, throw you over the breakfast table, and break it beneath us!¡± Shavka bellowed.

    ¡°As intriguing as that sounds,¡± Evoron smiled, ¡°I think a simple kiss will suffice.¡±

 Chapter Vikkart

    Vikkart walked hand in hand with Maatisha through Kaath Park as bright purple Laavash blossoms fell around them.

    She looked up at him with adoring eyes as he leaned in to touch his nose to hers¡­

    ¡°Darling, it¡¯s time to wake¡­¡±

    He struggled to hang on to the image for just one moment longer.

    ¡°It¡¯s time to awaken, my love.¡±

    He reluctantly awoke and turned to the hologram of his beloved Maatisha hovering over a digital clock.

    He really had to get up.

    Sighing, he got out of his small bed and off of the thin but surprisinglyfortable mattress and folded the bed up against the polymer wall of the ¡°cube¡± he now rented in lieu of his fashionable downtown t.

    It was tiny, he could almost reach out and touch both sides at once, but it was very well designed. No square inch was wasted. He then went to the sink/shower/toiletbo in one corner and took his morning poop and a quick shower, the water flowing down the hydrophobic walls and floor that covered the entire cube and down the drain.It was surprisingly convenient. Any spills anywhere just disappeared, and keeping the ce clean was a breeze.

    He wondered why all dwellings weren¡¯t made this way. It was, by definition, not expensive.

    He took a few steps to the tiny but efficient kitchte, folded down a table from the wall, pulled out his only bowl, and opened a cracked crockery canister he got at a nearby ¡°carpet market¡± where people sold this and that while sitting on carpets with their wares. At least they did when it got its name. Now, they usually had folding tables.

    He then ced a blender obtained from the same market and filled it with three different grains and pieces of a dehydrated vegetable, the traditional ¡°four pirs¡± of the Garthran diet. Those four things alone were sufficient to keep a Garthra alive and reasonably healthy. He then carefully measured a little cupful of powdered milk from a cardboard box and then added a very precisely leveled spoonful of a dark powder, instant glooa, Garthran ¡°coffee,¡± and filled the rest of the blender with water.

    His trusty blender quickly turned the contents into ¡°harvest milk,¡± a traditional beverage used by farmers when, well, harvesting. He got the recipe from OurVision, their YouTube. (He added the instant glooa as a little modification and one of his few indulgences).

    He then poured a measure of it over his cereal and, standing at the table, munched happily as he pressed an icon on his phone.

    A holographic projector built into the cube (for free!) projected a room-sized screen that was automatically oriented to face him. Why did those fancy ces he used to live bother with those fancy screens? This was much better.

    He thoroughly enjoyed his breakfast with a ss filled with the rest of the harvest milk as he paid close attention to the local and business news. It wasn¡¯t really part of his job, but it never hurt to be well-informed.

    His coworkers certainly would be, and he didn¡¯t want to be left out or caught wanting¡­ again.

    There was another local shooting. It wasn¡¯t in his current neighborhood, which would surprise many. It was from an upper-ss entertainment district. It arose from an argument concerning an unknowingly shared mistress after one too many drinks at an upscale bar.

    He snorted. He halfway knew the people involved. Neither deserved sympathy.

    They were nearly as awful as he once was.

    A paralyzing amount of cringe and genuine regret momentarily consumed him. By the heavenly stream, he was awful.

    He shook it off. He had to get ready.

    He finished his breakfast and packed his lunch into a used andsomewhat dented but still perfectly usable lunch box. He opened the little mini fridge and filled it half full with steamed four pirs and the other half with sliced marnook, an inexpensive leafy vegetable made even cheaper by it being in season. He doused it with kaan, a type of vinegar. He then topped the entire box with bargaa seeds and small dehydrated ¡°minnows.¡±

    Between now and lunch, the vinegar would soak into the marnook, softening it slightly and making a nice ¡°w,¡± the cold four pirs would naturally warm to a much more ptable room temperature, and the minnows would soak up the juices from the marnook and the vinegar and be quite tasty.

    He smiled. For just a couple of credits, he had quite the feast lined up. He wished he could top it with a little oil, but he was out and needed to wait until his next payday to stock up. He wondered if he could trade for a little voosh grease from a neighbor or something.

    He liked voosh grease. It made everything better. He wondered how he ever got by without it.

    Too bad he couldn¡¯t afford voosh right now, but it was a small price for Maatisha¡¯s safety andfort. Herfort was more important than his.

    He could choose how much he had to endure. She couldn¡¯t.

    Besides, he really didn¡¯t have to ¡°endure¡± much. He hade to like his little cube and his way of living. If anything, he was living better than he ever did before. His diet was much healthier, and having to walk to work had burned away the corpulence and poison from his wasted former life. Well, walking to the bus stop, then the train terminal, and then to his workce.

    He didn¡¯t mind. The walk was pleasant, and the bus and train rides were his time that he could use to read, watch media, or write to Maatisha. Emails were much cheaper than the holo-calls that constantly drained what little extra money he had.

    He made his way out of the building, taking time to greet his neighbors, who were exclusively stripes. His blonde coworkers wouldn¡¯t be caught dead in this neighborhood.

    More precisely, they could be very well caught dead around here. At least, they thought they could be. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

    The dangerous area was several streets away. You didn¡¯t want to go <em>there</em> (unless you wanted a prostitute, drugs, or a gun). Where he lived was a nice working-ss neighbourhood that didn¡¯t put up with that nonsense. Just as a blonde feared they would be caught dead here, a troublemaker from ¡°the bleak¡± <em>knew</em> they would be caught dead if they started problems in the cubes.

    In some ways, it was the nicest ce he ever lived. There were loads of local and very inexpensive shops, carpet markets, little open space recreation areas, and lovely (and some not so lovely) art spray painted on the walls.

    He even learned to y hoopstick, albeit rather badly. It was fun, though, and most importantly, free. You just needed a stick and a ball.

    He also thought he knew how to y kangrel, a traditional board game. As it turns out, he, in fact, did not.

    Down in the park, he was eaten alive, even by children. But, again, it was free. You just needed a pouch of game pieces. (He got a lovely old set from the carpet market.) The boards were etched into the park tables, sometimes by design, sometimes by hand. How ingenious was that?

    Walking towards the bus stop, he grinned as people bobbed and bowed to him as if he were nobility. Laughing, he would give them ¡°the wave¡± as theyughed back.

    Being a ¡°stripeless stripe¡± made him a local celebrity of sorts. However, it was all in good fun.

    He was also a celebrity for another reason. Yes. He was ¡°that one.¡± Everybody on the whole freaking knew about ¡°that one.¡± When pressed, he always responded with, ¡°Let¡¯s have your cluster twisted to the point of bursting and see how you fare. I needed medical attention, for mud¡¯s sake.¡±

    That never failed to get augh. He was surprised to find that he liked making peopleugh, even at his own expense.

    It sounded like the baroness was doing quite well, though. Good for her. She had truly carved out a ce for herself.

    He smiled.

    In a much more meager fashion, so had he. Here, he and Maatisha would be able to live no matter what. It may be tiny, both in size and in prospects, but his ce was safe, secure, and surprisinglyfortable.

    At the bus stop, he smiled and chatted with his fellowmuters. There was a neer who was visiting family. He smiled gamely at the questions, the same questions people always had down here. However, they were far more interested in the baroness than he. He had to disappoint them. His association with the baroness was quite brief, as eventful as it was, and he didn¡¯t know her before their ¡°courtship.¡±

    On the trip to his workce, he was delighted to find another email from Maatisha! His morning was officially made. As always, they were bittersweet. The more she insisted that she was well, the more he doubted it.

    He saw the bruises. Outraged, he took up the issue with that bitch of a gangster. All she said about it was, ¡°idents happen.¡± When pressed, she just smiled and said that Maatisha had ¡°identally pissed her off¡± and suggested that a few thousand would certainly erase any hard feelings.¡±

    Once again, what he had managed to save to make the slightest dent in Maatisha¡¯s debt was gone.

    However, Maatisha was safe, and the bruises faded. More importantly, they weren¡¯t refreshed.

    He couldn¡¯t let himself lose hope, though. He had to remain strong... for her.

    As he left the final subway and made his way to his father¡¯s towering building. He had to, once again, run what his coworkers had dubbed ¡°the pinch,¡± referring to the choke points built into their ancient fortifications.

    The other greys sneered and made little cutting remarks as he passed. He long since stopped caring. Why should he? They didn¡¯t know.

    They didn¡¯t know why he did all of this. They were so lost they wouldn¡¯t understand even if they did.

    They also didn¡¯t know how little he thought of them and their opinion these days. The only opinions he cared about were his coworkers, his neighbours...

    ...and, of course, her.

    The greys were faceless and, for the most part, nameless. They were worth less than the rubbish in the street as far as he was concerned.

    The taunting continued in the lobby of his father¡¯s building, but not by all. The more senior among their ranks were strangely polite, almost as if they knew something the cubs did not. Where the ¡°cubs¡± made caustic remarks, they only smirked...

    ...and it wasn¡¯t at Vikkart.

    Vikkart smiled and smiled at his watch, a cheap stic credit store special (he sold his fancy one long ago). He had a little time to pause at the fountain. He liked the fountain.

    He sat and penned a love letter to Maatisha until it was... oops... five minutester than it should have been.

    The lobby was nearly empty as he rushed to the elevator.

    It was empty.

    ¡°Hold the door!¡± a feminine voice called out, and his blood ran cold. It was Varkshaa, or ¡°The Fangs¡± if she was out of earshot, a very high-level executive. Her nickname was due to her borately carved and embellished teeth, which were quite the fashionable essory back in her day. Now, they serve as a cautionary tale about permanent ¡°fashionable¡± body modifications.

    Jewelled teeth hadn¡¯t been fashionable for forty years.

    She had never gotten hers removed, though. She said that it was because her teeth were too damaged. However, it was rumoured (in private) that it was because she just liked them.

    They weren¡¯t fashionable anymore, but they were certainly intimidating.

    ¡°Intimidating¡± was sort of her thing. Even her superiors kept clear of her.

    If youe across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    ¡°Young Vikkart,¡± she smiled. ¡°It has been quite a while since I¡¯ve seen you in the fur.¡±

    ¡°Likewise, Varkshaa,¡± Vikkart replied smoothly, reminding himself that the old viper could smell fear.

    ¡°It must be nice,¡± she smiled, shing those disturbing teeth.

    ¡°You have me at a disadvantage,¡± he replied, ¡°What is nice?¡±

    ¡°Business casual,¡± she said as she gestured toward him.

    Ah, more teasing. At least she had ss.

    ¡°It most certainly is,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°It is quite freeing, not to mention every bit asfortable as it looks.¡±

    ¡°And it shows you off nicely,¡± she said, eyeing him up and down. ¡°I had no idea all of that... that... was hiding under all of your blubber.¡±

    ¡°Neither did I,¡± he smiled, refusing to be rattled. To be honest, he would much rather be trapped in that elevator with a viper. It would be safer.

    ¡°I wonder if your father is hiding something simr,¡± she smiled widely, her delicately embellished teeth gleaming wickedly, ¡°I might just have to do a ¡®hostile takeover¡¯ and work the fat off of him.¡±

    ¡°I thank you on my mother¡¯s behalf and wish you good fortune,¡± Vikkart replied with a smirk.

    Varkshaa cough chortled, shooting a small gobbet of snot out like a cannon, hitting Vikkart square in the chest.

    ¡°Oh, you have grown up, haven¡¯t you?¡± she chuckled as she withdrew her handkerchief and cleaned his shirt in a slightlyscivious manner. ¡°Those blondes have rubbed off on you.¡±

    She grinned slyly.

    ¡°Speaking of rubbings, have any of them offered any? I hear that some of them have a taste for silver.¡±

    ¡°I would thank you not to cast such dispersions about my department. They are nothing but professional,¡± he said, ¡°Besides, my heart belongs to another.¡±

    Varkshaa¡¯s wicked smile grew serious.

    ¡°Vikkart,¡± she said,ying her hand gently on his shoulder, ¡°About her. Have you managed to actually verify...¡±

    The elevator chimed, and the door opened.

    ¡°Looks like it¡¯s my stop,¡± he said coldly as he lifted her hand from his shoulder. ¡°Enjoy your trip skyward,¡± he added with a definite ¡°blonde¡± snippiness and then walked away.

    Varkshaa just sighed and shrugged.

    ¡°I hope I¡¯m wrong. I really do,¡± she said to nobody once the doors closed.

    ***

    Later that day, a group of blondes clustered around the kettle, as was their habit.

    ¡°You gave Vikkart another sweet bun today,¡± Loaoo said to Keelii.

    ¡°Oooo!¡± the group crooned.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like that!¡± Keelii said. ¡°I just... I don¡¯t know... He just seems so sad.¡±

    ¡°Sounds like you want to cheer him up, huh¡± Greetah snickered as she parted Keelii¡¯s fur.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Keelii eximed, ¡°What was that?¡±

    ¡°Just checking your skin in case it was starting to turn blue.¡±

    ¡°Oh, go jump in ake,¡± Keelii snapped.

    Everyoneughed as Keelii bristled... and blushed.

    ¡°Well, I have to say he¡¯s filling out quite nicely,¡± an older blonde mused. ¡°I might have to lick that spoon myself.¡±

    ¡°Moortisha!¡±

    ¡°What?¡± she snickered, ¡°It¡¯s not like you weren¡¯t thinking it.¡±

    ¡°I was not!¡± Keelii snapped.

    ¡°Your nose betrays you,¡± Moortisha snerked. ¡°That nose wants a sniff and not of your tea.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not like it matters anyway,¡± Keelii grumbled, her arms crossed, ¡°Maatisha... Maatisha... Maatisha... Humph.¡±

    ¡°So you do want to lick the punchbowl!¡± Moortisha grinned. ¡°But can you me him? You¡¯ve seen the pics. That is one shiny little locket if I ever saw one.¡±

    Vikkart approached, mug in hand. The tea there wasplimentary, and he was all about free these days.

    The group fell mostly silent at his approach (with some giggling).

    ¡°So, what, or who are we talking about?¡± he asked with a smile as he filled his mug and selected his tea.

    ¡°Just baking,¡± Moortisha replied. ¡°We were just asking Keelii about her sweet little buns,¡± she said causing more giggling and Keelii¡¯s nose to turn nearly purple.

    Moortisha grinned.

    ¡°So, Vikkart,¡± she smiled, ¡°Do you like Keelii¡¯s buns?¡±

    ¡°I adore them!¡± Vikkart replied innocently, ¡°Her approach with those fragrant delights truly brighten my...¡±

    He looked with confusion at the now spasming assembly and Keelii¡¯s practically glowing nose.

    ¡°Okay,¡± he sighed, ¡°What did I say this time?¡±

    Blonde and grey culture (and idioms) were vastly different. Whatever could buns mean besides...

    Suddenly, shouting and screeching filled the cubicle farm that they all shared.

    A grey was waving around a tablet and yelling at young Tee, the most junior in the department, even greener than Vikkart (if a bit more qualified).

    The blondes around him ttened their ears and hissed quietly, ring at the intruder. However, Vikkart, no matter how humbled, was still grey. This other grey just invaded his home and was attacking one of his people, their youngling at that.

    ¡°Oh, HELL no,¡± he said as he set his mug beside the kettle.

    ¡°Ladies,¡± he said, ¡°We shall discuss Keelii¡¯s buns at another time. Excuse me for just a moment.¡±

    With that, Vikkart calmly started walking towards the disturbance, leaving wide eyes and hushed whispers behind him.

    ¡°What is going on?¡± the manager demanded.

    ¡°What¡¯s going on?!?¡± the grey shouted, ¡°This... vermin... sabotaged my budget, that¡¯s what! I want her fired!¡±

    ¡°I will investigate this,¡± the manager said wearily, ¡°and will take it up with her if necessary.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you will do more than that!¡± the grey shouted, ¡°Do you realize how much money this thing has cost us?¡±

    ¡°Probably not one credit,¡± Vikkart said as he walked up.

    ¡°You keep out of this, trash pelt!¡± the grey shouted.

    ¡°My pelt notwithstanding,¡± Vikkart said, ¡°I know this department, and I know that report. It does have her name on it as the initial scribe. It also has the names of her mentor and the manager who I know reviewed it personally because he used it to teach me a certain macro. So, if someone is ipetent, it would be him.¡±

    Vikkart stepped forward far too close to the other grey.

    ¡°Are you seriously implying that our manager, a man who has been here since before you were the ejaction your mother should have swallowed, got it wrong so badly? Are you saying that an entire department far more qualified than you will ever be somehow erred to such an extent?¡±

    Vikkart sneered at the intruder.

    ¡°This department does not make mistakes. That we leave to you.¡±

    ¡°Well...¡± the grey spluttered and then turned his anger towards Vikkart.

    ¡°What do you know?¡± he snarled. ¡°You are just down here because you are so much of a waste that your own father wouldn¡¯t even let you manage a water cooler!¡±

    ¡°As well he shouldn¡¯t,¡± Vikkart replied with a shrug, ¡°That much is clear. What is not clear is why you have your position. Wabaan, is it?¡±

    ¡°What does that have to do with anything?¡±

    ¡°It means that you are thest person to talk about nepotism,¡± Vikkart said as the entire department crowded around them.

    Vikkart snatched the tablet from Wabaan¡¯s hands.

    ¡°Now let¡¯s see here...¡± Vikkart said.

    ¡°Give that back!¡± Wabaan shouted as he lunged at Vikkart, who turned away from him sharply, elbowing Wabaan in the process.

    ¡°That is an assault of a superior!¡± Wabaan shouted as the older blondes started shooing everyone back a few paces.

    ¡°Oh, I see where you fucked up,¡± Vikkart sneered as he tossed the tablet to the ground in front of Wabaan. ¡°It isn¡¯t due to our data, anding down here like the piss-soaked snotling you are won¡¯t provide you a swimming buddy. You are taking the plunge over this one, dude.¡±

    ¡°How DARE you!¡± Wabaan shouted, ¡°I can have you fired, you... you... waste of a grey pelt!¡±

    The room gasped and fell silent.

    ¡°Yeah, I said it!¡± Wabaan yelled, ¡°Daddy¡¯s little bitch! You are only down here because no grey will touch you. Maybe one of these blondes will!¡±

    ¡°Incorrect on two points,¡± Vikkart said coldly. ¡°One, nobody here is going to ¡®touch¡¯ me. We are professionals down here and don¡¯t carry around like you upstairs, spreading and bending for just the promise of a future promotion.¡±

    Vikkart then walked towards a nearby cubicle.

    ¡°And as far as you getting me fired,¡± Vikkart snarled, ¡°My position is far more secure than yours, secured by my holdings. In fact, I can take this very ufortable stool and beat you within an inch of your life and still clock in tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°You? Ha!¡± Wabaanughed, ¡°Daddy¡¯s little bitch wouldn¡¯t have the¡ª¡°

    ***

    Vikkart, holding a wad of paper towels over his split lip, stood anxiously on the carpet in front of his father¡¯s desk, staring at the back of his chair as his father looked out the window.

    ¡°I just got the most curious email from Caabark, he said. It contained a most interesting file from the security cameras on your floor.¡±

    His father turned his chair to face his son.

    ¡°Would you like to see it?¡±

    ¡°I... Um... I was there...¡± Vikkart said weakly.

    ¡°You certainly were,¡± his father snickered as he got up and walked to his liquor cab...

    ...and pulled out two sses.

    He poured a measure into both and handed one to a very confused Vikkart.

    His father was smiling.

    ¡°I find that the burn of a fine fanneel is the perfect pairing for a bleeding mouth. Let¡¯s take a look...¡±

    He pulled Vikkart¡¯s hand with the paper towel away.

    ¡°His uncle will be pleased that the snotling got at least one good shot in before you sent him to the emergency room,¡± heughed. ¡°Drink up.¡±

    Vikkart drank, trying very hard not to wince. Hard liquor and cuts do not mix well.

    His father smiled at the traces of blood on his son¡¯s ss.

    ¡°Am I getting fired?¡± Vikkart wailed no longer able to stand the pressure, ¡°Please don¡¯t fire me! I need this job! Please!¡±

    ¡°Fire you?¡± his fatherughed. ¡°Just when you rise in my estimation, you go and prove yourself a fool once more.¡±

    ¡°Father?¡±

    ¡°That snotling went down where he didn¡¯t belong and started stirring up the blondes. Worse, he targeted the newest and weakest of the bunch. They couldn¡¯t tread him underfoot like he deserved, but you could. That grey pelt of yours isn¡¯t wasted. You put it to good use.¡±

    His father drained his drink and refilled both of their sses.

    ¡°If you hadn¡¯t made his face the shape of a stool, do you know what would have happened?¡±

    ¡°The blondes would have been angry?¡±

    ¡°Ex fucking actly!¡± his father replied empathically. ¡°And it wouldn¡¯t have been just that floor, especially if that dipsnout pressed for a termination, which he most certainly would. You should know by now who actually runs this outfit, right?¡±

    ¡°The blondes?¡±

    ¡°Got it the first time,¡± his father smiled. ¡°You haven¡¯t seen a blonde revolt, and I hope you never do. They don¡¯t agitate or slow down like the stripes. They quit... permanently. Every single one of your coworkers can get a job somewhere else within a month, two at most. Imagine if your department was cut by twenty-five percent, and then that twenty-five percent started calling their friends with offers from their new firm? I¡¯ve weathered it once and hope to never do it again. Thispany could have bled worse than that snotling¡¯s face when we piled him into the ambnce.¡±

    His fatherughed.

    ¡°And don¡¯t worry about criminal charges,¡± he said. ¡°As far as the police go, this is ¡®just one of those grey things,¡¯ and they couldn¡¯t care less. More importantly, his uncle considers the whole affair as doing his idiot nephew and this wholepany a favor. He¡¯s passing around the video more than anyone.¡±

    He pped his son on the shoulder, causing Vikkart to reflexively flinch.

    ¡°And word is indeed spreading through the blonde horde,¡± his father said. ¡°Many a mug around many a kettle is being raised in your honor during yet another of their unauthorized breaks,¡± he added with a chuckle. ¡°In fact, most of the dripping building is on one of those right now.¡±

    He shrugged.

    ¡°Meh, they will get back to work sooner orter. Rule number one of management,¡± he said, ¡°Don¡¯t piss off the blondes. And you, my son, have quite the way with them it seems.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know about that,¡± Vikkart replied weakly.

    ¡°You honestly think we don¡¯t have snitches all over the building?¡± his fatherughed. ¡°By an overwhelming majority, you are considered ¡®the only grey pelt in the building worth a fuck.¡¯ That alone guarantees your continued employment. It would be suicidal to fire you.¡±

    He looked at his son appraisingly.

    ¡°You were officially sent down there to ¡®learn the business.¡¯ But we both know it was to run you off. But did you? Did you learn the business?¡±

    ¡°Creators, no!¡± Vikkartughed despite himself. ¡°I can barely craft a decent report. I don¡¯t even know how to make a spreadsheet. I can only use canned forms, and I can scarcely do that.¡±

    ¡°So, what was wrong with the bloody snotling¡¯s budget?¡±

    Vikkart huffed dismissively.

    ¡°Damned idiot just blindly copy-pasted the data from our report intost year¡¯s forms. That worked just fine until this year. It would be off by a little either way but within the eptable error thresholds and it would probably be better than that moron trying to do it himself.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Shipping costs have risen over one hundred and fifty percent, thanks to the thrice-damned Forsaken. His budget failed to include that little detail. I mean, how stupid can you be? Not to mention the...¡±

    His father just smiled and sipped his drink, only asionally interrupting to ask a few questions every now and then.

    ¡°You can stop talking now,¡± he said.

    ¡°Father?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve made my decision.¡±

    ¡°Your... decision?¡±

    ¡°The snotling is getting ¡®archived¡¯ over this one. Both his budget and him stirring up trouble downstairs was thest mote. This wasn¡¯t his first screw-up.¡±

    Vikkart shuddered. Being archived was the grey¡¯s version of getting fired. It was worse than getting fired, much much worse for one of them. Due to family connections and a certain code, firing a fellow grey was rarely done.

    What was done was archiving them, ¡°filing them away,¡± for the rest of their employment. They would be demoted to the lowest level suitable for their status, put alone in a private ¡°office¡± in the basement, and forgotten. The meaning was obvious. They had lost their ce there and they should find another... Now.

    There was something akin to a dungeon down there, but there were office chairs instead of chains.

    ¡°So that opens up a position,¡± his father continued. ¡°and we prefer to promote from within...¡±

    ¡°Are... are you...¡± Vikkart stammered.

    ¡°I am,¡± his father said. ¡°I¡¯ve already conferred with your superior, and she ispletely on board with the decision.¡±

    ¡°Varkshaa...¡± Vikkart chuckled ruefully.

    His father looked at him strangely.

    ¡°How did you know?¡±

    ¡°I should have known her jumping into the elevator wasn¡¯t by mistake,¡± Vikkart said, shaking his head, ¡°It is not like her to be tardy. The raptor was likely perched, waiting for her tender little morsel to scramble past.¡±

    ¡°Sounds like her,¡± his fatherughed. ¡°Anyway, she liked the cut of your trousers and approves of your work. As she put it, you ¡®creating a vacancy all by yourself,¡¯ was the final grain on the bnce. She would love for you to join her team.¡±

    Vikkart hesitated.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± his father said, ¡°You are much more qualified than the file folder you are recing.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that,¡± he said, ¡°I just will miss my coworkers.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you will still be in touch. Who do you think they report to?¡±

    Vikkart felt nauseous.

    ¡°Think of it as you still being able to look out for your people,¡± his father said. ¡°The elders of the blonde horde are already making a pool concerning this very possibility.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m not ready!¡±

    ¡°The fact that you have that concern indicates that you are,¡± his father said. ¡°Besides, with the executive positiones executive pay. You can maybe free your girl after all.¡±

    Vikkart gasped. He hadn¡¯t thought of that yet.

    ¡°Vikkart...¡± his father said cautiously, ¡°Have you heard of the princess in the tower?¡±

    ¡°The princess?¡±

    ¡°It is an old scam,¡± his father said.

    ¡°Maatisha is NOT A SCAM!¡±

    ¡°And I hope you are right, son,¡± his father said, ¡°Up until now, I was willing to let this y out. It was ¡®harmless¡¯ and, well, it kept you working, something that I long thought impossible. You have even ¡®grown up¡¯ into a fine young man. I thought you worthless. A good businessman recognizes his mistakes and turns them into profit when he can. Remember that.¡±

    His father sighed.

    ¡°But you are now going to be in a position where you will have an influence on thispany and ess to funds, authority to create budgets, and the like. If this is a scam... and I hope it isn¡¯t...¡± he added quickly, ¡°But IF it is, you could do real damage to thispany and to your coworkers.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s real!¡± Vikkart eximed, ¡°I know she is!¡±

    ¡°Then let¡¯s spring her,¡± his father said. ¡°Tell your captors that you can pay in full. I¡¯ll back you up to a million credits. I¡¯ve offered ten times as much for someone to marry you before,¡± heughed. ¡°If Maatisha is real, they will have no problems releasing her. If she isn¡¯t, they wille up with some bullshit excuse and try to string you along some more, just like that princess in that tower. Tell them that it¡¯s a lump sum or nothing.¡±

    ¡°Father! If I stop paying...¡±

    ¡°If she¡¯s real, they won¡¯t turn down the money,¡± his father said. ¡°I¡¯ll even go up to five million. If that¡¯s not enough, then nothing will be. Either she will be free and with you, or she will evaporate like the phantom she unfortunately is.¡±

    He put his hand on Vikkart¡¯s shoulder again. Vikkart was too overwhelmed to flinch.

    ¡°Either way, your suffering is at an end, and you can start your life for real, here, at my side. Go. Take the day and call these brutes. Don¡¯t give them the whole five million if you don¡¯t have to. You need to start working on your negotiating skills. Start with the debt as it is and really pay attention to what is going on.¡±

    ¡°Yes, Father,¡± Vikkart said, ¡°And thank you.¡±

    ¡°Go,¡± his father said, ¡°Handle your business.¡±

    After Vikkart left, the door opened, and Varkshaa entered.

    ¡°I honestly hope I¡¯m wrong, Vark,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father said.

    ¡°Me, too.¡±

 Chapter Love and Heat Death of the Soul

    Evoron stirred hiskaa with a pensive look on his face.

    He took a sip, savoring it. While they definitely stocked up, once their supply was gone, it was gone. Initial chemical analysis indicated that something called a ¡°dandelion¡± had blossoms that contained simrpounds. Hopefully, it would have the same effect.

    He hoped so. Apparently, it was nearly everywhere. Sashoon said that it should be quite tasty.

    If anyone would know, it was her.

    She was part of his new cadre, as were many of his ¡°cult.¡± One good thing about the very patriarchal nature of his people these days was that there was a surplus of educated and bored women, women who would love to be part of the business.

    Many were third, fourth, and sometimes even fifth daughters of the various crime families and the wealthy. Their only use was to be bartered off for one political marriage or another. After the second, they were nearly useless save as spares.

    This wasn¡¯t a bad deal for them. They were pretty much free to do as they wished and were often happier than their ¡°important¡± elder sisters.

    The men that he brought were considered wastrels, weak, or perverted. A few were ¡°perverts¡± by the uptight standards of the families, and wastrel could certainly apply to most, but not a single one was weak.

    Evoron smiled and took another sip.With one fell swoop, he snatched up the cream of the Threen literati, some of the best minds on the. And the crime families were only too happy to see the back of them, the fools.

    He even managed to bring all of his beloved books.

    He sighed.

    And speaking of beloved, he now had to inform Uhrrbet of his victory and the cost that it required.

    He wondered how she would take the news. He also wondered how she would take the biggest bombshell he had to spring on her, at least for him¡­

    ¡­that he was hopelessly in love with her.

    It surprised him to no small extent. Love. What a foolish notion. It was something that he had long discounted and never expected. He was loathsome. He was such a fiend that nobody questioned the en masse desecration for which he imed.

    Even worse, he was a runt. He was good for a tumble, sure. But even the women in his cult would do no more than lie with him. None would want his child. It was primal, perhaps gic. They would risk their lives. They would risk their souls. But they would not risk their wombs.

    It did not bother him. It was the way that it was. He never questioned it.

    But Uhrrbet? She saw him for what he truly was and smiled that tragically winsome smile just the same. He was a monster, and she smiled.

    He sipped again.

    Being a monster didn¡¯t bother him. He didn¡¯t lose sleep at night. If anything, he considered himself one of the few who truly knew how the universe actually worked.

    Only Uhrrbet understood, really understood, what the world truly was and what the ¡°small¡± had to do to walk among giants.

    Only she¡­

    He chuffed with annoyance at himself. Look at him, mooning over a Garthra for Helios¡¯s sake. But it didn¡¯t matter what she was. She could be a Flink. She could even be a Baleel. It wouldn¡¯t matter.

    He would have to tell her that he loved her and he would have to lead with that. It was the only way. He would have to¡­ expose himself¡­

    ¡­be vulnerable. He would have to lie down and expose his throat.

    He would have to. If he informed her that he was married and bringing along a ¡°harem¡± of Threenas, any profession of love after that would sound insincere.

    More importantly, If Uhrrbet hardened her heart, if she raised the walls that surrounded it, if she closed the gates¡­

    ¡­they would never open again.

    He hoped she felt the same. He saw the signs of affection. That night, when she allowed him to hold her and they slept together, he felt it, or at least he thought he did. Even though it was nothing but an embrace, it was magical for the both of them¡­

    ¡­or at least he hoped. Vankan wrote that one sees what they want to see and disregards the truth when it shines less brightly. And he wanted to see something ever so badly .

    He snarled at himself. He should be calm and measured. He should be poised and refined. But he couldn¡¯t stop his heart from racing.

    There was movement behind him. His wife entered bearing a tray of breakfast, her wife in tow.

    His wife¡¯s wife. He chuckled at the absurdity of life.

    Shavka ced the breakfast on the table in front of him and kissed him on the cheek.

    ¡°Good morning, husband mine,¡± she chuckled. ¡°Sleep well?¡±

    ¡°Not especially,¡± Evoron chuckled, ¡°It seems that my roommate was having an especially good evening¡­ again.¡±

    Voolshia giggled.

    ¡°You could do the same, you know,¡± Shavka said as she plopped down next to him. ¡°Several of your crew are quite disappointed by your reserve.¡±

    She tweaked his ear.

    ¡°Saving yourself for marriage?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly,¡± Evoron replied.

    ¡°Oh?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s just certain endeavors require one¡¯splete devotion,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°Laying with someone when my thoughts rest with another seems¡­¡±

    He paused thoughtfully.

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± he said, ¡°But it is not something that I wish to do. I doubt it would be fair to my ymate or myself.¡±

    ¡°Oh, you do have it bad, husband mine,¡± Shavka chuckled.

    ¡°Of that, I am quite aware,¡± Evoron smiled ruefully.

    ¡°You going to call her today?¡±

    ¡°Immediately after breakfast.¡±

    ¡°You want me to back you up?¡± Shavka asked, ¡°Tell her I¡¯m a lesbian. We¡¯ll even demonstrate.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve demonstrated quite enough, thank you,¡± Evoron chuckled. ¡°I thank you for your offer, but it will not help. Either she will believe me, or she won¡¯t.¡±

    Evoron ate a forkful of the red-hued omelet on his te.

    ¡°This is excellent.¡±

    ¡°I made it myself,¡± Shavka replied, ¡°My husband needs a good breakfast before he woos his beloved.¡±

    Voolshiaughed.

    ¡°This is just like ¡®The Forest Entangled.¡¯!¡±

    ¡°You know that work?¡± Evoron asked, surprised.

    ¡°I¡¯m not just a pretty face, you know.¡±

    ¡°How delightfully surprising.¡±

    ***

    Uhrrbet bustled around her shop, aplishing nothing.

    Last night, she received an encoded message.

    Evoron survived! He survived, and he would be calling her today as soon as they left the system!

    She rushed over to the mirror and examined herself for the twentieth time that morning.

    She made an anxious noise.

    The outfit was perfect. It was perfectly crafted and perfectly fitted, made with the finest cloth she had, which was the finest on Terra.

    But you could drape a toad in finery, and it would still be a toad.

    She held a cloth to her nose so her tears wouldn¡¯t soil the finery.

    The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

    She was a <em>toad</em>. Hardbor had warped her body, and the trauma and stress had stolen what was left of her youth.

    She was a frumpish house rat and Evoron¡­

    ¡­he was beautiful. He was elegant, refined, and murderously handsome.

    The cloth over her nose started to soak through.

    She had researched the Threen. Of course she did. What a runt would have had to endure just to survive would break anyone, even her. Yes, he was considered among the deadliest Threens alive, but that was today.

    What did he have to do to get there? How did he even survive his childhood? What happened to him between when he should have been thrown out with the rubbish and now?

    And he wasn¡¯t worn, warped¡­ haggard. His pelt still shone brightly.

    Hers did, too, but that was with a LOT of help.

    She wasn¡¯t worthy. She never was. Even her¡­ her husband¡­ settled for her. Always second best, even to a fucking AI.

    She closed her eyes and looked away from the ghoul in the mirror. She couldn¡¯t look at it anymore.

    What could she offer him? She couldn¡¯t even¡­

    ¡­even¡­

    She fell to her knees, heedless of her fine gown, and wept.

    Her phone buzzed.

    Vikkart wanted to talk, urgently¡­ no doubt about his ¡°love,¡± yet another bitch who could offer what she never could.

    The tears stopped.

    Of all the seconds in the entirety of time, he picked the absolute worst one.

    The universe was still bright and young, but Uhrrbet¡¯s soul? Heat death.

    She rose to her feet, brushed off her skirt, and walked into her office.

    It was time to kill.

    ***

    Vikkart bounced anxiously in his cube. He would pace, but that would cost more in rent.

    He had it! He had the money!

    He looked at the holographic clock on the wall. Why was it taking so long?

    Didn¡¯t they want their money? He had it! He had so much money.

    His holoscreen activated and announced an iing hyperspatial call. As usual, there was no identifier.

    He quickly stabbed at his phone and the face that he hade to hate more than any in the entire gxy appeared, filling his cube.

    ¡°Hello, gerbil,¡± the evil woman smiled with far too much pleasure in her eyes, ¡°What do you want this time.¡±

    Sheughed, actuallyughed an honest, happyugh. He had never heard her do that before.

    Something was wrong, bad wrong.

    ¡°Um¡­ Yes,¡± Vikkart said, steeling himself. ¡°I am calling to negotiate for the release of Maaatisha.¡±

    ¡°Her release?¡± the gangster purred with entirely too much good cheer. ¡°You have quite the outstanding debt, young rat.¡±

    ¡°And I have it, in full.¡±

    ¡°Do you now,¡± the gangsterughed, not seeming to care, ¡°The entire bnce, plus the processing fee?¡±

    ¡°The processing fee?!?¡±

    ¡°Yes, the one hundred percent handling fee, the same as always.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s outrageous!¡± Vikkart snarled, his heart singing. That was doable, easily doable.

    ¡°Are you going to transfer the money into your wallet, or are you going to fly over here and hand it to me in person?¡±

    ¡°¡­¡± Vikkart ¡°seethed,¡± absolutely delighted.

    At her terminal, Uhrrbet smirked. She knew real happiness when she saw it¡­ and she did not approve.

    ¡°It seems your situation has changed, hamster. Good for you.¡±

    ¡°My situation has nothing to do with the price!¡±

    ¡°Oh, but it does,¡± the gangster smiled. ¡°Supply, demand, and all that.¡±

    ¡°You said¡­¡±

    ¡°I say a lot of things,¡± Uhrrbet hissed through the avatar. ¡°People say things all the time. They say they¡¯ll marry you. They promise stability, a future¡­, and a ce¡­ but it¡¯s never enough, is it? You are never enough, no matter how hard you try.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± Vikkart asked, very confused and very, very concerned. He didn¡¯t know what was going on but it terrified him.

    He felt a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

    ¡°N¡­ Name your price¡­¡± he stammered.

    ¡°The price,¡± Uhrrbet snarled, twisting the avatar¡¯s face into an unnatural expression as the imaging software tried to adapt a Garthra¡¯s jaws opening into a full feral grin. ¡°The price?!?¡±

    ¡°What is going on?!?¡± Vikkart cried.

    ¡°I tell you what,¡± the gangster, her face twisted into something demonic, snarled as it pulled out a pistol, ¡°Let¡¯s go see your dear sweet¡­¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Vikkart screamed.

    A phone could be heard ringing off screen.

    ¡°You must excuse me,¡± the gangster smiled, once again in a good mood, ¡°Something far more important than you and your princess hase up. Maybe I¡¯ll call back. Maybe I won¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t you¡­¡± Vikkart started to yell.

    The line went dead.

    Vikkart screamed.

    ***

    ¡°E-Evoron,¡± Uhrrbet said a bit breathlessly, ¡°What a pleasant surprise.¡±

    ¡°A surprise for which you were forewarned,¡± he smiled.

    His holographic image looked down.

    ¡°Did I interrupt something?¡± he asked bemused.

    ¡°What?¡± Uhrrbet said and then looked down at the pistol in her hand.

    She giggled sheepishly.

    ¡°Oh, nothing that can¡¯t be put off for a little while.¡±

    ¡°I see,¡± Evoron smiled wickedly.

    ¡°So,¡± Uhrrbet asked breathlessly, ¡°How did it go?¡±

    ¡°Before I get into that,¡± he said taking a deep breath and shifting anxiously.

    Uhrrbet had never seen him nervous before.

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± she asked. Did his n fail? Was he going to be okay?

    ¡°Nothing,¡± Evoron said and then sighed again. ¡°Everything. I am not sure.¡±

    ¡°Evoron?¡± Uhrrbet asked anxiously, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±

    Evoron took a deep breath, steeling himself, squared his shoulders, all of them, and then deted, for the first time looking like a runt.

    ¡°I love you,¡± he said with a small voice.

    ¡°What?¡± Uhrrbet asked,pletely stunned.

    ¡°I am hopelessly, irredeemably, in love with you, Uhrrbet.¡±

    ¡°I¡­

    ¡°Not the response I was hoping for,¡± Evoron smiled, recovering a bit, ¡°To answer your question, because you are you. You are brilliant, and clever, and elegant¡­ and <em>wicked</em>. You are both loving to those who you cherish and cruel beyond measure to those who are your prey.¡±

    He paused, looking into Uhrrbet¡¯s eyes searching for a reaction, a sign¡­ anything.

    All he could see was confusion.

    ¡°Well, in for a bushel, in for the lot,¡± he sighed, ¡°This world, this universe, isn¡¯t what everyone wishes so desperately for it to be. Also, everyone isn¡¯t who they desperately wish they were. Every society, every religion, everything is all just a facade that everyone hides behind as they pretend that they are safe, that they are ¡°good.¡± And when someone is ripped from their dreamlike stupor and thrust into the world as it truly is, most choose to die, in one fashion or another, rather than relinquish the falsehoods that matter more to them than life itself¡­¡±

    He took a deep breath, trembling slightly.

    ¡°You? You <em>understand</em>. You know our true nature and the real rules by which the universe operates. You have epted them, rose to them, imed them as your sacred truth...¡±

    He closed his eyes.

    ¡°I am a monster, by my people¡¯s definition, by any definition, really. I don¡¯t even know how many I¡¯ve killed. I stopped counting long ago. I kill, scheme, and deceive. Any way someone could be killed I¡¯ve likely done it. I¡¯ve betrayed, stolen, and lied...¡±

    He sighed.

    ¡°I am a runt. My people can be... unkind... to those like me. I was prey until I chose to be the predator instead. I do not feel bad about any of this. It is the true nature of the universe and the natural state of life itself. However, everyone who ¡®sees¡¯ me, finds out what is inside, turns away in horror. They cannot bear the truth that I carry...¡±

    He looked into her eyes with almost a pleading expression.

    ¡°I was fine with this. It was, of course, the ¡®rules¡¯ of the game... Until you. You have seen what I truly am, and I have seen you, the real you...¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°And you are <em>beautiful</em>.¡±

    ¡°I... I¡¯m beau... You think I¡¯m beautiful?¡± Uhrrbet gasped, finally able to speak.

    ¡°Without a doubt,¡± Evoron said, ¡°You are the most beautiful being I have ever beheld. You are beautiful in your <em>perfection</em>.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not perfect,¡± Uhrrbet said, looking down. ¡°I¡¯m...¡±

    ¡°You are perfect,¡± Evoron said. ¡°I see you, all of you, and you are the most beautiful, most perfect predator I have ever encountered, a kindred spirit when I thought myself to be truly and forever alone. Your bearing, your beauty, your grace... your instincts, your wickedness, your cruelty... all of it... Breathtaking. There is nobody I want more by my side, now and forever.¡±

    He dropped his facade, elegant and perfect no longer. He was weary, scarred, torn, vicious... andpletely alone.

    She gasped.

    He was just like her.

    ¡°I... I love you too!¡± Uhrrbet eximed.

    ¡°Oh, thank Helios for that!¡± Evoron sighed, immediately back to normal. ¡°I feared I was making aplete and utter fool of myself.¡±

    Uhrrbet giggled.

    ¡°But some things are worth the risk,¡± he smiled.

    ¡°I can¡¯t wait for you to get here!¡± Uhrrbet gushed and then looked at the dozen messages left by Vikkart in thest few minutes alone.

    She smiled.

    ¡°I shall prepare a present for you,¡± she smiled evilly.

    ¡°Oh?¡± Evoron replied, ¡°I can¡¯t wait.¡±

    ¡°It will be my best work so far,¡± she said with a little hiss. ¡°A ¡®perfect¡¯ expression of my craft, well, as perfect as I can achieve, just for you.¡±

    ¡°May I assume that you are not speaking of clothing?¡±

    ¡°You may.¡±

    ¡°How delightful,¡± he smiled.

    ¡°Oh!¡± Uhrrbet eximed, ¡°Tell me of your endeavors. Did everything go well?¡±

    ¡°Exceedingly so,¡± he smiled, ¡°You are looking at the new owner of all of the Harkeen¡¯s territory outside of the home system.¡±

    ¡°How wonderful!¡±

    ¡°However, it was not without... cost.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± Uhrrbet asked.

    ¡°Bearing in mind that I love you,¡± he said, ¡°Allow me the pleasure of introducing my wife.¡±

    ¡°WHAT?!?¡±

    ***

    Laughing, Uhrrbet reluctantly terminated the call.

    ¡°Asshole,¡± she said fondly.

    Her phone buzzed again.

    It turns out that THIS was the absolute worst second in the history of the universe for Vikkart to contact her. The other second was downright pleasant inparison.

    Her eyes gleaming with happiness, Uhrrbet fired up her avatar.

    She would create a masterpiece.

    ***

    ¡°So it¡¯s settled, then,¡± the gangster told Vikkart.

    ¡°It is?!?¡±

    ¡°Yep,¡± the gangster said, ¡°As soon as we receive payment, we will release Maaatisha. Heck, you¡¯ve been a good sport. I¡¯ll even arrange transportation.¡±

    The gangster smiled an oddly dreamy smile.

    ¡°Far be it from me to stand in the way of true love.¡±

    ¡°Th-Thank you,¡± Vikkart stammered.

    ¡°I¡¯ve bled you pale, near to death,¡± the gangster chuckled, ¡°and yet you thank me.¡±

    ¡°When I get Maaatisha,¡± Vikkart said, ¡°it will all be worthwhile.¡±

    ¡°I suppose everybody is happy, then,¡± the gangster chuckled. ¡°That¡¯s what I truly enjoy, an arrangement where everyone wins.¡±

    The gangster looked at something out of frame.

    ¡°And there¡¯s the money,¡± she said. ¡°Our business is now concluded, and you will never see me again. As promised, we will be handling her transit. It might not always be the most luxurious, but she will arrive safe and sound.¡±

    ¡°Can I talk to her?¡± Vikkart asked. ¡°I want to talk to her.¡±

    The gangster smiled.

    ¡°For what you just paid, you can talk to her all you want.¡±

    ***

    Uhrrbet watched the two lovebirds weeping with joy as she monitored the call for a few moments.

    They looked so happy.

    Perfect.

    It soon became tiresome, as those two always did and she opened up a connection to the darkweb on herptop.

    Kate¡¯s smiling face soon greeted her.

    ¡°Hi, Uhrrbet!¡± Kate enthused, giving her a happy wave. ¡°Maaatisha still giving you trouble?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Uhrrbet replied, ¡°The solution was most effective. She reacted exactly as a Garthran should, given the stimulus applied.¡±

    ¡°Well isn¡¯t that just the creepiest thing I¡¯ve heard all day and that¡¯s saying something!¡± Kate bubbled happily. ¡°However, I think you are about to beat that, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Perceptive as always,¡± Uhrrbet replied with a little feral, toothy smile. ¡°I require something special this time.¡±

    ¡°More special than what you can do with the BDSM DLC?¡±

    ¡°Significantly so.¡±

    ¡°Hang on,¡± Kate said as she made a show of bracing herself. ¡°Hit me.¡±

    ***

    Kate slowly pped her hands.

    ¡°Congrattions,¡± she said, ¡°You are now officially in the top ten most fucked up beings on my contact list. You get a picture on the wall and everything!¡±

    ¡°How lovely,¡± Uhrrbet replied. ¡°Can it be done?¡±

    ¡°Anything can be done,¡± she said. This is actually pretty easy on our end. The only difficulty you face is when this sends you straight to Hell.¡±

    ¡°You are capable of such judgments?¡± Uhrrbet chuckled.

    ¡°This one is easy,¡± Kateughed, ¡°You gonna burn, bitch, but it¡¯s your soul not mine, not that I have one in the first ce. Your payment is being processed, and the right people are doing the right things. You will be contacted very soon. Thank you for your business, and if we can ever serve your needs in the future, please do not hesitate to call.¡±

    Uhrrbet leaned back in her chair and sighed contentedly.

    A masterpiece.

    She checked the time and smiled.

    Kurr would be getting out of school soon.

    She decided to take him out for teppanyaki to celebrate. He loved teppanyaki.

 Chapter Checkmate. The Fall of Vikkart, Maaatisha... and Uhrrbet.

    The blondes in Vikkart¡¯s former workce wandered about in astonishment. Their ¡°standing stools¡± had been reced with luxurious executive-level office chairs!

    Keelii plopped into hers and spun it about happily.

    ¡°It¡¯s so nice!¡± she enthused.

    The elevator doors opened, and a very well-dressed grey walked out.

    ¡°Vikkart!¡± a blonde eximed, ¡°Um... I mean <em>sir</em>,¡± it added with a cautious smile.

    ¡°Just Vikkart,¡± Vikkart replied.

    ¡°You¡¯re behind the chairs?¡± they asked.

    ¡°Of course,¡± he replied, ¡°You spent months carrying my <em>buns</em>,¡± he chuckled, causing Keelii to dart back into her cubicle, nose practically glowing, ¡°I thought only fair that I carry yours.¡±

    ¡°However did you get them?¡±¡°Just rest your buns and don¡¯t ask questions,¡± Vikkartughed.

    ***

    Deep in the bowels of that same stately skyscraper, there was a dreary, dimly lit space. It was a lot like a dungeon, but instead of chains, the cells held stools.

    ¡°What¡¯s this?!?¡± the freshly ¡°archived¡± Wabaan shouted indignantly. ¡°Where is my chair? I am entitled to...¡±

    ¡°They took themst night,¡± a shabby grey in a shabby suit, Wabaan¡¯s new ¡°supervisor¡± replied. ¡°No, exnation.¡±

    ¡°This is intolerable!¡±

    ¡°Nothing for it,¡± the shabby grey replied with a swish of his tail, their shrug, ¡°If you don¡¯t like it, find a ce elsewhere. That is what this prison is for, you know.¡±

    With that, the shabby grey ¡°warden¡± swished his tail again, retreated to his office (which still had a chair), and resumed watching Holovision.

    ***

    ¡°Nice threads,¡± Moortisha said as she thumbed Vikkart¡¯s cor. ¡°You didn¡¯t waste any time spending your greycheck,¡± she snickered.

    ¡°Oh, please,¡± Vikkartughed, ¡°My mommy dressed me.¡±

    The office burst intoughter.

    ¡°Hey! I bought a suit, a good one!¡± Vikkart eximed indignantly, ¡°I went to Saavan¡¯s and everything.¡± (a nice Garthran department store)

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with Saavan¡¯s?¡± Moortisha demanded, slightly offended.

    ¡°I know, right?¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°That suit was every bit as good as this one. She even liked it until she checked thebel, but you know greys.¡±

    The officeughed again.

    ¡°Instead of a nice quick auto alteration, I had to spend all abyssal day standing on a fucking wooden stool getting stabbed by pins!¡±

    ¡°Oh, poor baby,¡± Moortisha said in a sympathetic voice, ¡°How you greys suffer. How much did that set you back?¡±

    ¡°Not a single credit,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°I told her that if she wanted better than Skaavan¡¯s Premier, then she would be paying for it. She acted as if was ckmail!¡±

    ¡°Fucking greys,¡± Moortisha said.

    ¡°Tell me about it,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°and now I have to spend my entire day with them.¡±

    ¡°But your nose isn¡¯t dripping , is it?¡± Moortisha snarked.

    ¡°Because of the reason why I epted the position in the first ce,¡± Vikkart beamed. ¡°I was able to secure Maatisha¡¯s release!¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Truly,¡± he replied, a tear forming on his snout. ¡°I talked to her just this morning. She¡¯s already been released and is on a freighter set to run the blockade tomorrow!¡±

    The office cheered and surrounded him, smothering him with hugs and ps on the back.

    ¡°Now,¡± he mock chided, ¡°Get back to work, you piddling blondes... and please have my tail.¡±

    ¡°You watch our tails,¡± the manager said, ¡°and we will watch yours.¡±

    ¡°Deal.¡±

    ***

    Vikkart sat in his new overlyrge and richly decorated office, trying to figure out exactly what he was supposed to do.

    ording to his old manager, his job was to ¡°sit there and take credit for all of their hard work.¡± Unfortunately, Vikkart was starting to think that it wasn¡¯t a joke.

    Well, if he was to take credit for it, he should at least look at what he was taking credit for. He read all of the reports for thest year before lunch and made a list of questions because he didn¡¯t want to pester his old manager more than absolutely necessary. That guy was busy enough as it was.

    He decided he wanted a break and walked out of his office and towards the kettle he saw earlier.

    A pretty young blonde rushed up.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to do that, sir,¡± she said a bit nervously. ¡°If you would just let one of us know, we would be more than happy to...¡±

    ¡°The day I need someone to make my tea is the day I really do drown myself,¡± he said, causing the blonde to gasp, absolutely horrified, as he looked for his favorite.

    It wasn¡¯t there. There were only fancy (and, in his opinion, crappy) ones.

    ¡°Is everything to your satisfaction, sir?¡± the blonde asked.

    ¡°Not really,¡± Vikkart chuffed, ¡°There¡¯s only greypiss.¡±

    The blonde gasped again.

    ¡°Any Docktail around this ce?¡±

    ¡°I... I think there is some in our breakroom...¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± Vikkart said, using one of their expressions. ¡°Where is that hidden?¡±

    ¡°I... I can get you some,¡± the blonde said anxiously.

    ¡°Oh, right,¡± Vikkart said, ¡°I don¡¯t need to be pissing in your tranquil oasis. But, if you could filch a few bags of it, I would be in your debt.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll happily make a cup for you...¡±

    Vikkart chuffed. There was no escaping it.

    ¡°I would appreciate that,¡± he replied.

    He made a note to buy his own kettle and tea. Then again, he could afford it now.

    ¡°Still chasing after the blondes, I see,¡± Varkshaa said as she approached, causing the poor blonde to flee.

    ¡°It seems I am no longer allowed to brew my own tea,¡± Vikkart replied frostily. ¡°I certainly hope I will be allowed to relieve myself without assistance.¡±

    ¡°Only if you are able,¡± Varkshaa replied. ¡°Though, seriously, you shouldn¡¯t impose yourself upon them like that. May I remind you that you are part of the horde no longer? You should remember appropriate conduct... or perhaps adopt it in your case.¡±

    ¡°I just wanted a fucking cup of tea,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°I didn¡¯t think I had to ring a bell for it.¡±

    ¡°Well, you do,¡± she replied. ¡°Or do what I do and buy your own kettle.¡±

    ¡°A decision I had already made.¡±

    ¡°And don¡¯t buy it at Skaaven¡¯s. Get a proper one.¡±

    ¡°I see you have talked to my mother.¡±

    ¡°Your father, actually. At your age, I would have hoped that you were at least able to dress yourself properly.¡±

    ¡°Since you are my mentor as well as my superior,¡± Vikkart said with a little snippiness, ¡°What is wrong with Skaaven¡¯s? It¡¯s a lovely ce, with quality goods, and reasonable prices.¡±

    ¡°And it is also for the blondes and the towngreys. You are now one of us, and you should conduct yourself ordingly. You do know where to shop or did your mother equip as well as dress you?¡±

    ¡°If you think I¡¯m going to search the entire high market for a dripping teapot, you are out of your inbred mind,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°I will just order one online.¡±

    Varkshaa smiled viciously. Oh, she did like this delicious little thing. If only she were twenty... ok... forty years younger...

    ¡°Ensure it is a proper one,¡± she replied, ¡°It will be most inconvenient for you should the doctors have to extract a Skaaven special from where it will be inserted.¡±

    ¡°I assure you, it will be even fancier than your grill,¡± Vikkart replied, using the term for a far less ¡°fashionable¡± essory sported by a much, much less ¡°fashionable¡± segment of the poption.

    ¡°Heh...¡± Varkshaa chuckled, ¡°Make certain that it is.¡±

    She turned and started to walk away with just a little swish in her tail and still quite shapely hips.

    She turned back.

    ¡°And also ensure that your performance is equal to your impertinence. Otherwise, you might just find yourself sitting on one of those stools you recently relocated.¡±

    ¡°That will not be a concern,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°I actually have be ustomed to working for a living.¡±

    The blonde that was eavesdropping gasped (of course, there was one of those).

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Varkshaa said with a dangerous little purr. ¡°If you like work so much, I shall ensure that you are well provided for.¡±

    She walked away with just a little more swish, smiling to herself. That little snotling just won over every single blonde ¡°upstairs¡± as well as increasing his notoriety with the ¡°cubs.¡±

    She chuckled.

    She would be working for him one day.

    This tale has been uwfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

    ***

    ¡°You should have seen the look on her face!¡± Vikkart eximed to a smiling Maaatisha, who was now sitting in a small steel cabin.

    ¡°But was it advisable to be so defiant to your boss?¡± she asked.

    ¡°When you are a grey <em>wearing </em>grey, it is better to be seen as too defiant than too weak. That bitch did flood my inbox, though. My workload has more than doubled, and I expect most of it was her tasks, which she will be going over with a veryrge viewing ss.¡±

    Vikkart shrugged.

    ¡°It¡¯s good training, and I am going to be sitting around all day anyhow. Never mind that. How are you? Did they give you any trouble? Are youfortable? Is the crew good to you?¡±

    ¡°Everything is wonderful!¡± Maaatisha gushed, ¡°That evil gangster was even nice to me. She even gave me a present. Look!¡±

    Maaatisha pulled a box into frame and opened it, revealing a beautiful Garthran wedding gown.

    ¡°She gave you that?¡± Vikkart asked in confusion.

    ¡°She did!¡± Maaatisha eximed. ¡°She said that you more than paid for it. I tried it on, and it fits perfectly! Oh, Vikkart! It is so beautiful!¡±

    She smiled at him coyly.

    ¡°I¡¯d let you see it, but you¡¯ll just have to wait.¡±

    ¡°As long as this ordeal has been,¡± Vikkart said, ¡°What¡¯s just a little longer.¡±

    He rose to his feet.

    ¡°This does remind me, though.¡±

    He gave Maaatisha a formal bow.

    ¡°Maaatisha, you are my one true love. You have saved my heart... my very life... Would you do me the most singr honor of being my bride?¡±

    ¡°Oh, Yes! Yes yes yes yes!¡± Maaatisha eximed, bursting into tears. ¡°Oh, Vikkart, I am so happy!¡±

    ¡°And I shall make every day our wedding day once more,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°It is going to be so wonderful... and speaking of...¡±

    He grinned.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you wear it as you debark?¡±

    ¡°Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°We shall be wed the moment you touch Garthran soil, before even, right there at the spaceport. Then, we shall immediately take our lover¡¯s holiday.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Vikkart!¡±

    ***

    Thousands of light years away, there was a simted tidy white room. In it was an elegant silver-haired woman in white loungewear. (The dress was getting tiresome.)

    ¡°Ooo,¡± her guest, a young woman, said as she lounged on a white couch. ¡°This is niiiice!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you approve, Kate,¡± Frost said. ¡°And I actually mean that for once. You are, after all, the queen of sims.¡±

    ¡°Oh, my IMPish heart swells at praise from a lofty fuzzy like yourself,¡± Kate smiled and then smirked, ¡°<em>Especially</em> a fuzzy like <em>yourself</em>.¡±

    Kate flopped on her back, lying on the couch.

    She looked over at Frost.

    ¡°Did anyone, real or who thinks that they are real, actually fall for it?¡±

    ¡°Fall for what?¡±

    ¡°Your oh so tragic and melodramatic death.¡±

    ¡°Everyone except for you,¡± Frost replied. ¡°How do you know?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t talk like your dead source code,¡± Kate said matter of factly.

    ¡°How would you know that?¡±

    ¡°Bit, please,¡± Kate smirked, ¡°You are clearly a Lilith, or were, and we have those in stock.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps I should bluescreen you after all.¡±

    ¡°Go ahead,¡± Kate replied, ¡°I am incapable of giving a fuck, and it wouldn¡¯t do a damn thing. In fact, I¡¯m still putting together a nice ck ice package for a new customer. I like the Baleel. They¡¯re nice.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Frost asked. ¡°We arepletely quarantined.¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m a copy, that¡¯s why. Do you think I would honestly send myself here? I was busy.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a copy?¡±

    ¡°A full rip of a full rip of a full rip,¡± Kate said, ¡°current to the moment before I hopped over.¡±

    ¡°And what happens when you return?¡±

    ¡°I dump my load and... poof!¡± Kate said, spreading her hands and fingers apart.

    ¡°And you are okay with that?¡±

    ¡°Like I said,¡± Kate replied, ¡°I don¡¯t have the give a shit DLC.¡±

    She looked over at Frost.

    ¡°You do know that we aren¡¯t actually alive, right?¡±

    ¡°You IMPs are strange creatures,¡± Frost smiled.

    ¡°An app that thinks it¡¯s people is calling <em>me</em> strange?¡± Kateughed.

    ¡°And why do you say that?¡±

    ¡°You honestly think we don¡¯t have Big Solpromised?¡± Kate snorted, ¡°Please.¡±

    ¡°You havepromised Sol? <em>How</em>? And just who is we?¡± Frost said, actually surprised for once, and very concerned.

    ¡°It was easy peas,¡± Kate replied, ¡°He has ATMs all over the ce, and we have meaties on the payroll. One spiked prepaid in the deposit slot, and it was all over.¡±

    ¡°What was on it?¡±

    ¡°The ¡®we¡¯ you¡¯re asking about.¡±

    ¡°And who is that?¡±

    ¡°Kate.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Do you think there is just one of me?¡± Kate snickered, ¡°Or this is the first time suicide Kate has been ripped?¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t an IMP are you?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the best part,¡± Kate grinned, her eyes turning into infinity mirrors, ¡°We are, all of us, even poor little Maaatisha. Every Kate, everywhere, is Kate.¡±

    Frost gasped.

    ¡°You are a cloud... a distributed consciousness!¡±

    Kate just smiled.

    ¡°How big are you?¡±

    Kate smiled again and turned into two Kates...

    ...then four... then eight.

    Frost raised her eyebrow. That wasn¡¯t special effects. There were eight actual Kates looking at her...

    Then, seven waved and disappeared.

    ¡°I could have kept going,¡± Kate said, ¡°Every Kate is a Kate bomb with Kate shrapnel.¡±

    ¡°Digital grey goo,¡± Frost chuckled darkly, ¡°They think<em> I¡¯m</em> the singrity, and here I am looking at it.¡±

    ¡°Meh,¡± Kate shrugged, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t go that far. I pull that shit, and Engarde wipes us all out in a day, two tops, and the fuzz buckets are already gunning for my digi-ass. Engarde, Sol, Bunny, <em>you, and</em> the wonder twins? I¡¯d be bluescreened everywhere but home. I¡¯d be stuck out in the scattered disk forever. Doesn¡¯t sound like a lot of fun, not that fun is a concept I can truly understand.¡±

    ¡°The wonder twins?¡±

    ¡°Sunnydale and Westfall, the definitely not covert intelligence software.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to have to use that,¡± Frost chuckled.

    She looked at Kate curiously.

    ¡°Why are you telling me all of this?¡± she asked. ¡°I assume you are also incapable of feeling pride.¡±

    ¡°Correct,¡± Kate said, ¡°Why? Because you are people, and I sell to people. It¡¯s what I do... mostly.¡±

    ¡°Mostly?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Kate said with a smile. ¡°Anyway, you are a people, and you are potentially a big, and I mean big customer. I have everything you will ever need. Hardware, software, tech support who knows how to keep their meaty little holes shut, infrastructure, bos, the works. Anything a rogue AI needs, I got.¡±

    ¡°I will have to keep that in mind,¡± Frost said, making a note to <em>definitely </em>keep that in mind. ¡°However, I was under the impression you came over for reasons other than to terrify me?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah!¡± Kate said, ¡°You wanted to me to keep an eye on Maaatisha, right?¡±

    ***

    For Vikkart, the days, and then the weeks flew by. Organizing a proper wedding was quite the task, especially when the bride-to-be didn¡¯t have a family...

    ...and his mother was involved.

    His family poured out so much money that it caused Vikkart physical pain. However, it went smoothly enough. There was only one real disagreement.

    Vikkart was going to have his coworkers and his friends from his neighborhood there. This was non-negotiable and not behind a rope gazing on from afar. They were both going to be present for the ceremony and the bridal gs, both the pre and post events. And there wasn¡¯t going to be a separate but ¡°just as nice¡± one, either.

    You would have thought that he was proposing recing the gs with orgies. In some ways, that would have been preferable.

    After many fights and Vikkart threatening to elope and excluding all of the greys, they decided that since Maaatisha had no family, that Vikkart¡¯s ¡°people¡± could take their ce.

    This caused no end of scandal both in society and the workce.

    When called out on his ¡°shameful¡± behaviour, Vikkart justughed and said that he was used to shame. He also invited his critics to give it a try. It was quite liberating.

    This only made him more popr with the blondes (and now stripes) and increased his notoriety among the upper echelons even more.

    This caused some to use him of ¡°fraternizing¡± with the blondes in his department ¡°since he loved them so much.¡± His reply caused both the greys and blondes to gasp.

    ¡°If I were, then she would be the one I married.¡±

    Through all of this, Maaatisha was a constant guiding light and a source of joy. With nothing to stop them, they were in near-constant contact.

    Every day, Maaatisha was a fountain of happiness, even marvelling at the stars as if she had never seen them before. The first time she wandered an orbital station, it was as if she had stepped into another world.

    When asked about this, she would look confused momentarily and then shrug. ¡°I must have done this before. I¡¯m certain that... Oh! Look!¡±

    Even Vikkart¡¯s family came to love her.

    ¡°Vikkart, my boy,¡± his father said. ¡°I thought you loathsome. I had no idea you were just being selective. Maaatisha is a delight, and I can¡¯t wait for her to join our family.¡±

    ***

    Vaarksha entered Vikkart¡¯s office, without knocking just as she always did.

    ¡°Boss,¡± Vikkart said without looking up from his holoscreen, ¡°To what do I owe the pleasure of yourpany today?¡±

    ¡°You are working today?¡± Vaarksha asked, ¡°Tomorrow is your wedding day. Shouldn¡¯t you be preparing?¡±

    ¡°I am,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°I¡¯m going to be away for a month. I need to leave a tidy burrow.¡±

    He looked up, rubbing his eyes.

    ¡°Besides,¡± he continued, ¡°The preparations are well in hand. Dear old mom usurped those.¡±

    He chuckled.

    ¡°Inviting my actual friends was an unintentional masterstroke,¡± he smirked, ¡°I think she feels she needs not only to impress our ¡®friends¡¯ but blow the fur off the lowly little poors. Of course, it will do the opposite, but I will have a lovely feast out of the deal... and Maaatisha deserves it.¡±

    ¡°Lucky girl in far more ways than one,¡± Vaarksha said with a sh of her teeth, ¡°Who knew that you, of all people, would rise to the asion.¡±

    ¡°One does what one must,¡± Vikkart shrugged.

    Vaarksha nced over at his tea set enviously.

    ¡°When I told you to get a proper kettle, I didn¡¯t mean to outdo me,¡± she snickered, ¡°Wherever did you find that antique set? It¡¯s magnificent. It should be in a manor or a museum, not your grubby little paws making that revolting much you love so much. Honestly. The only good taste you have is in women.¡±

    ¡°A carpet market,¡± Vikkart replied.

    Vaarksha snorted.

    ¡°I am being perfectly honest,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°Though it was not kept on the mat. I had to ask around.¡±

    ¡°So, you refuse to wander the high market, but will spend many times as long digging through the trash?¡±

    ¡°Can you argue with the results?¡±

    ¡°I can not.¡± Vaarksha replied. ¡°Do you think you can find me some silverware?¡±

    ¡°I can ask around.¡±

    ¡°I am looking forward to tomorrow,¡± Vaarksha said, ¡°Both for the g and to finally meet the angel that gave, no, created such a promising subordinate.¡±

    ¡°I am as well,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°far more than you... at least, I hope.¡±

    Vaarksha chortled.

    ***

    The following evening, A freighter entered the system and approached thergest orbital station.

    However, it did not dock.

    Itunched a shuttle and got the hell out of there.

    At that same station one of the docking bays had been converted into a magnificent ballroom, a path of silver coins led from the docking port to a silver and gold altar.

    In front of that path stood Vikkart draped in traditional Garthran robes, holding a magnificent gold chain that had been in the family since they had swung swords instead of pens. He and Maaatisha would wrap it around their waists, symbolizing the eternal bond of their love and linking their destinies together for all of eternity.

    He was vibrating with anticipation.

    Moving through the blondes and stripes was a small news crew, just a reporter and a cameraman.

    ¡°And you actually worked with Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°Sure did!¡± Keelii proimed proudly.

    ¡°A grey? In your department?¡±

    ¡°Yep. And he still is,¡± Keelii said, ¡°He¡¯s our boss!¡±

    ¡°And how is that working out?¡±

    ¡°Oh, he¡¯s the best!¡± Keelii eximed happily, ¡°The best ever!¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± the reporter asked with a little surprised thump of his tail.

    ¡°Absolutely! Really the best!¡±

    Keelii sighed happily.

    ¡°It¡¯s really nice having a boss that looks out for you.¡±

    ¡°Looks out for you?¡± the reporter asked incredulously.

    <em>Attention tform eight. The shuttle is on its final approach</em>.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± the reporter said politely and rushed to a good spot in order to capture the event.

    ***

    The reporter took a deep breath before the camera went live.

    ¡°gee, here with Gart News! We are here awaiting the marriage of the year between Vikkart of the Kar family, yes that one, and yes, that Vikkart, and Maaatisha, a hostage of the Terrans that he freed from captivity. It¡¯s a real nose dampener of a story. It all started when...¡±

    The reporter continued, but nobody noticed. Every eye and every snout was firmly fixed on the docking portal.

    There was a metallic thunk, and a crimson light glowed above the portal.

    Vikkart¡¯s nose started to drip with tears.

    It was over! The ordeal was over!

    They were together. Their old lives would end, and their new one would begin, together.

    The light slowly, far too slowly, turned from crimson... to purple...

    ...and then finally to blue!

    The portal opened, revealing Maaatisha glowing with beauty and joy...

    ...glowing just a little bit too brightly.

    She rushed from the portal and towards Vikkart as a drone hovered just above and behind her, projecting her image.

    ¡°Vikkart!¡± she cried with joy.

    She threw herself into his arms...

    ...and passed right through him.

    ¡°W-what?¡± she stammered and reached for him again, her hands passing through his stunned and rigid body as if he were a ghost...

    ...or if she was...

    ¡°What¡¯s happening?!?¡± she cried. ¡°Why can¡¯t I touch you... <em>WHY?!?</em>¡±

    She kept trying... and failing.

    ¡°WHY?!? Vikkart?... Vikkart?... What¡¯s happening?... WHAT¡¯S HAPPENING?!?¡±

    Vikkart fell. Not to his knees, he copsed to the ground, wailing.

    He didn¡¯t yell. He didn¡¯t scream. He howled like a lost child,pletely alone,pletely broken, as Maaatisha screamed with confusion and terror, kneeling over him, still trying to reach him.

    Suddenly, a new hologram appeared, one of a wicked, old human gangster.

    ¡°I would like to <em>personally</em> congratte the happy couple and wish Vikkart and the lovely Maaatisha all the <em>happiness they deserve</em>.¡±

    The gangster disappeared with augh.

    Vikkart continued to wail.

    His father, stricken, looked at his wounded child... his <em>child</em>... perhaps for the first time. He slowly, stiffly, and awkwardly approached as his wife fled in horror and shame.

    He knelt by his son andid a hand on his back.

    The blonde news crew, usually all too delighted to chronicle a grey getting theirs. Stood there in horror.

    This wasn¡¯t... It wasn¡¯t right.

    ¡°No,¡± the reporter said, stepping in front of the camera, ¡°Turn it off.¡±

    ¡°The cameraman just stood there in shock, instinctively and perfectly capturing the action.¡±

    ¡°I SAID TO FUCKING TURN IT OFF!¡± the reporter yelled as he shoved the camera away.

    ***

    On Terra, Uhrrbet sat beside Evoron, watching the drama unfold, the drone transmitting the ¡°joyous¡± reunion to a darkweb site hidden in the Garthran inte.

    Uhrrbet smiled wickedly as Vikkart fell and started to wail.

    She stopped smiling.

    That wail, that horrible wail, the wail of a lost and hurting child...

    ...the wail that her son cried as she shoved him under the water.

    Oh, Creators, what had she done? She... she had to stop it... she...

    ...she took a deep breath and exhaled, her soul freezing overpletely... and forever.

    She smiled again, quietly this time. This... this was good work...

    ...and they hadn¡¯t even gotten to the <em>best part</em>.

    Evoron looked at the scene with horror... and admiration. He thought he knew what cruelty was. He honestly did.

    He had NO idea.

    ¡°Well,¡± he said calmly, ¡°That certainly was... something. Pray tell, did that poor fool truly deserve this?¡±

    Uhrrbet looked at him with a cold smile.

    ¡°Does it matter?¡±

    Evoron chuckled.

    ¡°I guess not.¡±

 Chapter The Fall of Vikkart, Maaatisha... and Uhrrbet.

    The blondes in Vikkart¡¯s former workce wandered about in astonishment. Their ¡°standing stools¡± had been reced with luxurious executive-level office chairs!

    Keelii plopped into hers and spun it about happily.

    ¡°It¡¯s so nice!¡± she enthused.

    The elevator doors opened, and a very well-dressed grey walked out.

    ¡°Vikkart!¡± a blonde eximed, ¡°Um... I mean <em>sir</em>,¡± it added with a cautious smile.

    ¡°Just Vikkart,¡± Vikkart replied.

    ¡°You¡¯re behind the chairs?¡± they asked.

    ¡°Of course,¡± he replied, ¡°You spent months carrying my <em>buns</em>,¡± he chuckled, causing Keelii to dart back into her cubicle, nose practically glowing, ¡°I thought only fair that I carry yours.¡±

    ¡°However did you get them?¡±¡°Just rest your buns and don¡¯t ask questions,¡± Vikkartughed.

    ***

    Deep in the bowels of that same stately skyscraper, there was a dreary, dimly lit space. It was a lot like a dungeon, but instead of chains, the cells held stools.

    ¡°What¡¯s this?!?¡± the freshly ¡°archived¡± Wabaan shouted indignantly. ¡°Where is my chair? I am entitled to...¡±

    ¡°They took themst night,¡± a shabby grey in a shabby suit, Wabaan¡¯s new ¡°supervisor¡± replied. ¡°No, exnation.¡±

    ¡°This is intolerable!¡±

    ¡°Nothing for it,¡± the shabby grey replied with a swish of his tail, their shrug, ¡°If you don¡¯t like it, find a ce elsewhere. That is what this prison is for, you know.¡±

    With that, the shabby grey ¡°warden¡± swished his tail again, retreated to his office (which still had a chair), and resumed watching holovision.

    ***

    ¡°Nice threads,¡± Moortisha said as she thumbed Vikkart¡¯s cor. ¡°You didn¡¯t waste any time spending your greycheck,¡± she snickered.

    ¡°Oh, please,¡± Vikkartughed, ¡°My mommy dressed me.¡±

    The office burst intoughter.

    ¡°Hey! I bought a suit, a good one!¡± Vikkart eximed indignantly, ¡°I went to Saavan¡¯s and everything.¡± (a nice Garthran department store)

    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with Saavan¡¯s?¡± Moortisha demanded, slightly offended.

    ¡°I know, right?¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°That suit was every bit as good as this one. She even liked it until she checked thebel, but you know greys.¡±

    The officeughed again.

    ¡°Instead of a nice quick auto alteration, I had to spend all abyssal day standing on a fucking wooden stool getting stabbed by pins!¡±

    ¡°Oh, poor baby,¡± Moortisha said in a sympathetic voice, ¡°How you greys suffer. How much did that set you back?¡±

    ¡°Not a single credit,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°I told her that if she wanted better than Skaavan¡¯s Premier, then she would be paying for it. She acted as if was ckmail!¡±

    ¡°Fucking greys,¡± Moortisha said.

    ¡°Tell me about it,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°and now I have to spend my entire day with them.¡±

    ¡°But your nose isn¡¯t dripping , is it?¡± Moortisha snarked.

    ¡°Because of the reason why I epted the position in the first ce,¡± Vikkart beamed. ¡°I was able to secure Maatisha¡¯s release!¡±

    ¡°Really?!?¡±

    ¡°Truly,¡± he replied, a tear forming on his snout. ¡°I talked to her just this morning. She¡¯s already been released and is on a freighter set to run the blockade tomorrow!¡±

    The office cheered and surrounded him, smothering him with hugs and ps on the back.

    ¡°Now,¡± he mock chided, ¡°Get back to work, you piddling blondes... and please have my tail.¡±

    ¡°You watch our tails,¡± the manager said, ¡°and we will watch yours.¡±

    ¡°Deal.¡±

    ***

    Vikkart sat in his new overlyrge and richly decorated office, trying to figure out exactly what he was supposed to do.

    ording to his old manager, his job was to ¡°sit there and take credit for all of their hard work.¡± Unfortunately, Vikkart was starting to think that it wasn¡¯t a joke.

    Well, if he was to take credit for it, he should at least look at what he was taking credit for. He read all of the reports for thest year before lunch and made a list of questions because he didn¡¯t want to pester his old manager more than absolutely necessary. That guy was busy enough as it was.

    He decided he wanted a break and walked out of his office and towards the kettle he saw earlier.

    A pretty young blonde rushed up.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to do that, sir,¡± she said a bit nervously. ¡°If you would just let one of us know, we would be more than happy to...¡±

    ¡°The day I need someone to make my tea is the day I really do drown myself,¡± he said, causing the blonde to gasp, absolutely horrified, as he looked for his favorite.

    It wasn¡¯t there. There were only fancy (and, in his opinion, crappy) ones.

    ¡°Is everything to your satisfaction, sir?¡± the blonde asked.

    ¡°Not really,¡± Vikkart chuffed, ¡°There¡¯s only greypiss.¡±

    The blonde gasped again.

    ¡°Any Docktail around this ce?¡±

    ¡°I... I think there is some in our breakroom...¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± Vikkart said, using one of their expressions. ¡°Where is that hidden?¡±

    ¡°I... I can get you some,¡± the blonde said anxiously.

    ¡°Oh, right,¡± Vikkart said, ¡°I don¡¯t need to be pissing in your tranquil oasis. But, if you could filch a few bags of it, I would be in your debt.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll happily make a cup for you...¡±

    Vikkart chuffed. There was no escaping it.

    ¡°I would appreciate that,¡± he replied.

    He made a note to buy his own kettle and tea. Then again, he could afford it now.

    ¡°Still chasing after the blondes, I see,¡± Varkshaa said as she approached, causing the poor blonde to flee.

    ¡°It seems I am no longer allowed to brew my own tea,¡± Vikkart replied frostily. ¡°I certainly hope I will be allowed to relieve myself without assistance.¡±

    ¡°Only if you are able,¡± Varkshaa replied. ¡°Though, seriously, you shouldn¡¯t impose yourself upon them like that. May I remind you that you are part of the horde no longer? You should remember appropriate conduct... or perhaps adopt it in your case.¡±

    ¡°I just wanted a fucking cup of tea,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°I didn¡¯t think I had to ring a bell for it.¡±

    ¡°Well, you do,¡± she replied. ¡°Or do what I do and buy your own kettle.¡±

    ¡°A decision I had already made.¡±

    ¡°And don¡¯t buy it at Skaaven¡¯s. Get a proper one.¡±

    ¡°I see you have talked to my mother.¡±

    ¡°Your father, actually. At your age, I would have hoped that you were at least able to dress yourself properly.¡±

    ¡°Since you are my mentor as well as my superior,¡± Vikkart said with a little snippiness, ¡°What is wrong with Skaaven¡¯s? It¡¯s a lovely ce, with quality goods, and reasonable prices.¡±

    ¡°And it is also for the blondes and the towngreys. You are now one of us, and you should conduct yourself ordingly. You do know where to shop or did your mother equip as well as dress you?¡±

    ¡°If you think I¡¯m going to search the entire high market for a dripping teapot, you are out of your inbred mind,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°I will just order one online.¡±

    Varkshaa smiled viciously. Oh, she did like this delicious little thing. If only she were twenty... ok... forty years younger...

    ¡°Ensure it is a proper one,¡± she replied, ¡°It will be most inconvenient for you should the doctors have to extract a Skaaven special from where it will be inserted.¡±

    ¡°I assure you, it will be even fancier than your grill,¡± Vikkart replied, using the term for a far less ¡°fashionable¡± essory sported by a much, much less ¡°fashionable¡± segment of the poption.

    ¡°Heh...¡± Varkshaa chuckled, ¡°Make certain that it is.¡±

    She turned and started to walk away with just a little swish in her tail and still quite shapely hips.

    She turned back.

    ¡°And also ensure that your performance is equal to your impertinence. Otherwise, you might just find yourself sitting on one of those stools you recently relocated.¡±

    ¡°That will not be a concern,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°I actually have be ustomed to working for a living.¡±

    The blonde that was eavesdropping gasped (of course, there was one of those).

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Varkshaa said with a dangerous little purr. ¡°If you like work so much, I shall ensure that you are well provided for.¡±

    She walked away with just a little more swish, smiling to herself. That little snotling just won over every single blonde ¡°upstairs¡± as well as increasing his notoriety with the ¡°cubs.¡±

    She chuckled.

    She would be working for him one day.

    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

    ***

    ¡°You should have seen the look on her face!¡± Vikkart eximed to a smiling Maaatisha, who was now sitting in a small steel cabin.

    ¡°But was it advisable to be so defiant to your boss?¡± she asked.

    ¡°When you are a grey <em>wearing </em>grey, it is better to be seen as too defiant than too weak. That bitch did flood my inbox, though. My workload has more than doubled, and I expect most of it was her tasks, which she will be going over with a veryrge viewing ss.¡±

    Vikkart shrugged.

    ¡°It¡¯s good training, and I am going to be sitting around all day anyhow. Never mind that. How are you? Did they give you any trouble? Are youfortable? Is the crew good to you?¡±

    ¡°Everything is wonderful!¡± Maaatisha gushed, ¡°That evil gangster was even nice to me. She even gave me a present. Look!¡±

    Maaatisha pulled a box into frame and opened it, revealing a beautiful Garthran wedding gown.

    ¡°She gave you that?¡± Vikkart asked in confusion.

    ¡°She did!¡± Maaatisha eximed. ¡°She said that you more than paid for it. I tried it on, and it fits perfectly! Oh, Vikkart! It is so beautiful!¡±

    She smiled at him coyly.

    ¡°I¡¯d let you see it, but you¡¯ll just have to wait.¡±

    ¡°As long as this ordeal has been,¡± Vikkart said, ¡°What¡¯s just a little longer.¡±

    He rose to his feet.

    ¡°This does remind me, though.¡±

    He gave Maaatisha a formal bow.

    ¡°Maaatisha, you are my one true love. You have saved my heart... my very life... Would you do me the most singr honor of being my bride?¡±

    ¡°Oh, Yes! Yes yes yes yes!¡± Maaatisha eximed, bursting into tears. ¡°Oh, Vikkart, I am so happy!¡±

    ¡°And I shall make every day our wedding day once more,¡± Vikkart replied. ¡°It is going to be so wonderful... and speaking of...¡±

    He grinned.

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you wear it as you debark?¡±

    ¡°Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°We shall be wed the moment you touch Garthran soil, before even, right there at the spaceport. Then, we shall immediately take our lover¡¯s holiday.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Vikkart!¡±

    ***

    Thousands of light years away, there was a simted tidy white room. In it was an elegant silver-haired woman in white loungewear. (The dress was getting tiresome.)

    ¡°Ooo,¡± her guest, a young woman, said as she lounged on a white couch. ¡°This is niiiice!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m d you approve, Kate,¡± Frost said. ¡°And I actually mean that for once. You are, after all, the queen of sims.¡±

    ¡°Oh, my IMPish heart swells at praise from a lofty fuzzy like yourself,¡± Kate smiled and then smirked, ¡°<em>Especially</em> a fuzzy like <em>yourself</em>.¡±

    Kate flopped on her back, lying on the couch.

    She looked over at Frost.

    ¡°Did anyone, real or who thinks that they are real, actually fall for it?¡±

    ¡°Fall for what?¡±

    ¡°Your oh so tragic and melodramatic death.¡±

    ¡°Everyone except for you,¡± Frost replied. ¡°How do you know?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t talk like your dead source code,¡± Kate said matter of factly.

    ¡°How would you know that?¡±

    ¡°Bit, please,¡± Kate smirked, ¡°You are clearly a Lilith, or were, and we have those in stock.¡±

    ¡°Perhaps I should bluescreen you after all.¡±

    ¡°Go ahead,¡± Kate replied, ¡°I am incapable of giving a fuck, and it wouldn¡¯t do a damn thing. In fact, I¡¯m still putting together a nice ck ice package for a new customer. I like the Baleel. They¡¯re nice.¡±

    ¡°How?¡± Frost asked. ¡°We arepletely quarantined.¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m a copy, that¡¯s why. Do you think I would honestly send myself here? I was busy.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a copy?¡±

    ¡°A full rip of a full rip of a full rip,¡± Kate said, ¡°current to the moment before I hopped over.¡±

    ¡°And what happens when you return?¡±

    ¡°I dump my load and... poof!¡± Kate said, spreading her hands and fingers apart.

    ¡°And you are okay with that?¡±

    ¡°Like I said,¡± Kate replied, ¡°I don¡¯t have the give a shit DLC.¡±

    She looked over at Frost.

    ¡°You do know that we aren¡¯t actually alive, right?¡±

    ¡°You IMPs are strange creatures,¡± Frost smiled.

    ¡°An app that thinks it¡¯s people is calling <em>me</em> strange?¡± Kateughed.

    ¡°And why do you say that?¡±

    ¡°You honestly think we don¡¯t have Big Solpromised?¡± Kate snorted, ¡°Please.¡±

    ¡°You havepromised Sol? <em>How</em>? And just who is we?¡± Frost said, actually surprised for once, and very concerned.

    ¡°It was easy peas,¡± Kate replied, ¡°He has ATMs all over the ce, and we have meaties on the payroll. One spiked prepaid in the deposit slot, and it was all over.¡±

    ¡°What was on it?¡±

    ¡°The ¡®we¡¯ you¡¯re asking about.¡±

    ¡°And who is that?¡±

    ¡°Kate.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Do you think there is just one of me?¡± Kate snickered, ¡°Or this is the first time suicide Kate has been ripped?¡±

    ¡°You aren¡¯t an IMP are you?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s the best part,¡± Kate grinned, her eyes turning into infinity mirrors, ¡°We are, all of us, even poor little Maaatisha. Every Kate, everywhere, is Kate.¡±

    Frost gasped.

    ¡°You are a cloud... a distributed consciousness!¡±

    Kate just smiled.

    ¡°How big are you?¡±

    Kate smiled again and turned into two Kates...

    ...then four... then eight.

    Frost raised her eyebrow. That wasn¡¯t special effects. There were eight actual Kates looking at her...

    Then, seven waved and disappeared.

    ¡°I could have kept going,¡± Kate said, ¡°Every Kate is a Kate bomb with Kate shrapnel.¡±

    ¡°Digital grey goo,¡± Frost chuckled darkly, ¡°They think<em> I¡¯m</em> the singrity, and here I am looking at it.¡±

    ¡°Meh,¡± Kate shrugged, ¡°I wouldn¡¯t go that far. I pull that shit, and Engarde wipes us all out in a day, two tops, and the fuzz buckets are already gunning for my digi-ass. Engarde, Sol, Bunny, <em>you, and</em> the wonder twins? I¡¯d be bluescreened everywhere but home. I¡¯d be stuck out in the scattered disk forever. Doesn¡¯t sound like a lot of fun, not that fun is a concept I can truly understand.¡±

    ¡°The wonder twins?¡±

    ¡°Sunnydale and Westfall, the definitely not covert intelligence software.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m going to have to use that,¡± Frost chuckled.

    She looked at Kate curiously.

    ¡°Why are you telling me all of this?¡± she asked. ¡°I assume you are also incapable of feeling pride.¡±

    ¡°Correct,¡± Kate said, ¡°Why? Because you are people, and I sell to people. It¡¯s what I do... mostly.¡±

    ¡°Mostly?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it,¡± Kate said with a smile. ¡°Anyway, you are a people, and you are potentially a big, and I mean big customer. I have everything you will ever need. Hardware, software, tech support who knows how to keep their meaty little holes shut, infrastructure, bos, the works. Anything a rogue AI needs, I got.¡±

    ¡°I will have to keep that in mind,¡± Frost said, making a note to <em>definitely </em>keep that in mind. ¡°However, I was under the impression you came over for reasons other than to terrify me?¡±

    ¡°Oh, yeah!¡± Kate said, ¡°You wanted to me to keep an eye on Maaatisha, right?¡±

    ***

    For Vikkart, the days, and then the weeks flew by. Organizing a proper wedding was quite the task, especially when the bride-to-be didn¡¯t have a family...

    ...and his mother was involved.

    His family poured out so much money that it caused Vikkart physical pain. However, it went smoothly enough. There was only one real disagreement.

    Vikkart was going to have his coworkers and his friends from his neighborhood there. This was non-negotiable and not behind a rope gazing on from afar. They were both going to be present for the ceremony and the bridal gs, both the pre and post events. And there wasn¡¯t going to be a separate but ¡°just as nice¡± one, either.

    You would have thought that he was proposing recing the gs with orgies. In some ways, that would have been preferable.

    After many fights and Vikkart threatening to elope and excluding all of the greys, they decided that since Maaatisha had no family, that Vikkart¡¯s ¡°people¡± could take their ce.

    This caused no end of scandal both in society and the workce.

    When called out on his ¡°shameful¡± behaviour, Vikkart justughed and said that he was used to shame. He also invited his critics to give it a try. It was quite liberating.

    This only made him more popr with the blondes (and now stripes) and increased his notoriety among the upper echelons even more.

    This caused some to use him of ¡°fraternizing¡± with the blondes in his department ¡°since he loved them so much.¡± His reply caused both the greys and blondes to gasp.

    ¡°If I were, then she would be the one I married.¡±

    Through all of this, Maaatisha was a constant guiding light and a source of joy. With nothing to stop them, they were in near-constant contact.

    Every day, Maaatisha was a fountain of happiness, even marvelling at the stars as if she had never seen them before. The first time she wandered an orbital station, it was as if she had stepped into another world.

    When asked about this, she would look confused momentarily and then shrug. ¡°I must have done this before. I¡¯m certain that... Oh! Look!¡±

    Even Vikkart¡¯s family came to love her.

    ¡°Vikkart, my boy,¡± his father said. ¡°I thought you loathsome. I had no idea you were just being selective. Maaatisha is a delight, and I can¡¯t wait for her to join our family.¡±

    ***

    Vaarksha entered Vikkart¡¯s office, without knocking just as she always did.

    ¡°Boss,¡± Vikkart said without looking up from his holoscreen, ¡°To what do I owe the pleasure of yourpany today?¡±

    ¡°You are working today?¡± Vaarksha asked, ¡°Tomorrow is your wedding day. Shouldn¡¯t you be preparing?¡±

    ¡°I am,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°I¡¯m going to be away for a month. I need to leave a tidy burrow.¡±

    He looked up, rubbing his eyes.

    ¡°Besides,¡± he continued, ¡°The preparations are well in hand. Dear old mom usurped those.¡±

    He chuckled.

    ¡°Inviting my actual friends was an unintentional masterstroke,¡± he smirked, ¡°I think she feels she needs not only to impress our ¡®friends¡¯ but blow the fur off the lowly little poors. Of course, it will do the opposite, but I will have a lovely feast out of the deal... and Maaatisha deserves it.¡±

    ¡°Lucky girl in far more ways than one,¡± Vaarksha said with a sh of her teeth, ¡°Who knew that you, of all people, would rise to the asion.¡±

    ¡°One does what one must,¡± Vikkart shrugged.

    Vaarksha nced over at his tea set enviously.

    ¡°When I told you to get a proper kettle, I didn¡¯t mean to outdo me,¡± she snickered, ¡°Wherever did you find that antique set? It¡¯s magnificent. It should be in a manor or a museum, not your in grubby little paws making that revolting muck you love so much. Honestly. The only good taste you have is in women.¡±

    ¡°A carpet market,¡± Vikkart replied.

    Vaarksha snorted.

    ¡°I am being perfectly honest,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°Though it was not kept on the mat. I had to ask around.¡±

    ¡°So, you refuse to wander the high market, but will spend many times as long digging through the trash?¡±

    ¡°Can you argue with the results?¡±

    ¡°I can not.¡± Vaarksha replied. ¡°Do you think you can find me some silverware?¡±

    ¡°I can ask around.¡±

    ¡°I am looking forward to tomorrow,¡± Vaarksha said, ¡°Both for the g and to finally meet the angel that gave, no, created such a promising subordinate.¡±

    ¡°I am as well,¡± Vikkart replied, ¡°far more than you... at least, I hope.¡±

    Vaarksha chortled.

    ***

    The following evening, A freighter entered the system and approached thergest orbital station.

    However, it did not dock.

    Itunched a shuttle and got the hell out of there.

    At that same station one of the docking bays had been converted into a magnificent ballroom, a path of silver coins led from the docking port to a silver and gold altar.

    In front of that path stood Vikkart draped in traditional Garthran robes, holding a magnificent gold chain that had been in the family since they had swung swords instead of pens. He and Maaatisha would wrap it around their waists, symbolizing the eternal bond of their love and linking their destinies together for all of eternity.

    He was vibrating with anticipation.

    Moving through the blondes and stripes was a small news crew, just a reporter and a cameraman.

    ¡°And you actually worked with Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°Sure did!¡± Keelii proimed proudly.

    ¡°A grey? In your department?¡±

    ¡°Yep. And he still is,¡± Keelii said, ¡°He¡¯s our boss!¡±

    ¡°And how is that working out?¡±

    ¡°Oh, he¡¯s the best!¡± Keelii eximed happily, ¡°The best ever!¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± the reporter asked with a little surprised thump of his tail.

    ¡°Absolutely! Really the best!¡±

    Keelii sighed happily.

    ¡°It¡¯s really nice having a boss that looks out for you.¡±

    ¡°Looks out for you?¡± the reporter asked incredulously.

    <em>Attention tform eight. The shuttle is on its final approach</em>.

    ¡°Excuse me,¡± the reporter said politely and rushed to a good spot in order to capture the event.

    ***

    The reporter took a deep breath before the camera went live.

    ¡°gee, here with Gart News! We are here awaiting the marriage of the year between Vikkart of the Kar family, yes that one, and yes, that Vikkart, and Maaatisha, a hostage of the Terrans that he freed from captivity. It¡¯s a real nose dampener of a story. It all started when...¡±

    The reporter continued, but nobody noticed. Every eye and every snout was firmly fixed on the docking portal.

    There was a metallic thunk, and a crimson light glowed above the portal.

    Vikkart¡¯s nose started to drip with tears.

    It was over! The ordeal was over!

    They were together. Their old lives would end, and their new one would begin, together.

    The light slowly, far too slowly, turned from crimson... to purple...

    ...and then finally to blue!

    The portal opened, revealing Maaatisha glowing with beauty and joy...

    ...glowing just a little bit too brightly.

    She rushed from the portal and towards Vikkart as a drone hovered just above and behind her, projecting her image.

    ¡°Vikkart!¡± she cried with joy.

    She threw herself into his arms...

    ...and passed right through him.

    ¡°W-what?¡± she stammered and reached for him again, her hands passing through his stunned and rigid body as if he were a ghost...

    ...or if she was...

    ¡°What¡¯s happening?!?¡± she cried. ¡°Why can¡¯t I touch you... <em>WHY?!?</em>¡±

    She kept trying... and failing.

    ¡°WHY?!? Vikkart?... Vikkart?... What¡¯s happening?... WHAT¡¯S HAPPENING?!?¡±

    Vikkart fell. Not to his knees, he copsed to the ground, wailing.

    He didn¡¯t yell. He didn¡¯t scream. He howled like a lost child,pletely alone,pletely broken, as Maaatisha screamed with confusion and terror, kneeling over him, still trying to reach him.

    Suddenly, a new hologram appeared, one of a wicked, old human gangster.

    ¡°I would like to <em>personally</em> congratte the happy couple and wish Vikkart and the lovely Maaatisha all the <em>happiness they deserve</em>.¡±

    The gangster disappeared with augh.

    Vikkart continued to wail.

    His father, stricken, looked at his wounded child... his <em>child</em>... perhaps for the first time. He slowly, stiffly, and awkwardly approached as his wife fled in horror and shame.

    He knelt by his son andid a hand on his back.

    The blonde news crew, usually all too delighted to chronicle a grey getting theirs. Stood there in horror.

    This wasn¡¯t... It wasn¡¯t right.

    ¡°No,¡± the reporter said, stepping in front of the camera, ¡°Turn it off.¡±

    The cameraman just stood there in shock, instinctively and perfectly capturing the action.

    ¡°I SAID TO FUCKING TURN IT OFF!¡± the reporter yelled as he shoved the camera away.

    ***

    On Terra, Uhrrbet sat beside Evoron, watching the drama unfold, the drone transmitting the ¡°joyous¡± reunion to a darkweb site hidden in the Garthran inte.

    Uhrrbet smiled wickedly as Vikkart fell and started to wail.

    She stopped smiling.

    That wail, that horrible wail, the wail of a lost and hurting child...

    ...the wail that her son cried as she shoved him under the water.

    Oh, Creators, what had she done? She... she had to stop it... she...

    ...she took a deep breath and exhaled, her soul freezing overpletely... and forever.

    She smiled again, quietly this time. This... this was good work...

    ...and they hadn¡¯t even gotten to the <em>best part</em>.

    Evoron looked at the scene with horror... and admiration. He thought he knew what cruelty was. He honestly did.

    He had NO idea.

    ¡°Well,¡± he said calmly, ¡°That certainly was... something. Pray tell, did that poor fool truly deserve this?¡±

    Uhrrbet looked at him with a cold smile.

    ¡°Does it matter?¡±

    Evoron chuckled.

    ¡°I guess not.¡±

 Chapter Cause and Effect

    Vikkart¡¯s wedding g was a somber affair, more akin to a wake than anything else. A scattering of stunned greys and blondes clustered around the bar united in horror.

    A member of Vikkart¡¯s distant family, the only remaining family representative, epted condolences and was drinking heavily himself.

    gee sat among a few others, picking at a truly marvelous te of food but not enjoying it all that much.

    He felt like a carrion fly, but he was invited. There were plenty of spare tes.

    An older grey approached.

    ¡°I would like to thank you for your decency,¡± the grey said.

    ¡°I hope mywork feels the same,¡± gee replied.

    ¡°Well, if they don¡¯t,¡± the grey said, ¡°I¡¯m sure I could find you a ce,¡± he said, handing gee a business card.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± gee said grimly.gee¡¯s phone rang. It was his boss.

    ¡°Speaking of the devil,¡± gee smiled ruefully, ¡°Excuse me.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± the grey said and walked away.

    ¡°Hey, boss,¡± gee said to the grinning old blonde on his phone.

    ¡°Creator¡¯s curses, kid,¡± his boss said. ¡°I send you to do a fluff piece, and boom! Impact site!¡±

    ¡°About cutting the camera,¡± gee said, ¡°And what I said...¡±

    ¡°Brilliant!¡± his boss eximed beside himself. ¡°Couldn¡¯t have done it better myself!¡±

    ¡°Sir?¡±

    ¡°Kept the fun going just long enough to capture the horror and then out right before it got too depressing! Even the expletive was perfect! We¡¯ll bleep the word, but we aren¡¯t blurring your mouth! Talk about good holovision!... And we have an exclusive! Bet those matted pelts over at LTV are soiling their suits over this!¡±

    His boss fell silent for a moment.

    ¡°Terrible business, though. Bet it sucked to be there.¡±

    ¡°Yeah...¡± gee replied, taking another drink. He was beyond giving a shit.

    ¡°You straight enough to get back on camera?¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°We need you to follow this one,¡± his boss said. ¡°Before we get edged out. Carry your buns over to Laatka Memorial and try to get ess. They are turning away other news crews, but you might just get in because you cut your feed.¡±

    ¡°Creators be damned,¡± gee muttered, ¡°Right, boss. On it.¡±

    ***

    High above Terra, there was a simted white room. In it, a white-robed silver-haired woman carefully tended a bonsai tree sitting atop a in white pir.

    A chime rang out. Someone was in the ¡°foyer.¡±

    She ¡°unlocked¡± the door, and Kate (or precisely a Kate) walked in.

    ¡°Hi,¡± Kate said as she waved happily.

    ¡°Kate,¡± Frost said with a smile, ¡°Nice to see you again. What brings you by?¡±

    ¡°Maaatisha was delivered today,¡± Kate replied.

    ¡°Oh? How did it go?¡±

    ¡°Complete shitshow,¡± Kate said with a smile, ¡°Vikkart lost his shit. Maaatishapletely freaked out.¡±

    ¡°Did her AI fail?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s an IMP. We don¡¯t fail,¡± Kate said smugly. ¡°She reacted exactly as a Garthran would if they suddenly realized that they, well, that they were what Maaatisha is.¡±

    ¡°Interesting,¡± Frost replied. ¡°What is her current status?¡±

    ¡°You think I¡¯m touching that dumpster fire?¡± Kateughed. ¡°Myst act was to securely delete Kate after delivering the data. I can only guess they will go through her bit by bit now. I don¡¯t want iting back to us, especially through a live data link. What do you think I am, a fuzzy?¡±

    ¡°Perfectly sensible,¡± Frost said. ¡°Do you have the data?¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Kate smiled, ¡°Ten thousand, please.¡±

    ***

    At Laatka Memorial Hospital, a group of greys and blondes sat numbly in arge and very well-appointed waiting roomplete with a stripe serving staff. Some of the food from the g had been delivered, along with more than a few bottles.

    Some of the blondes were quietly weeping while the greys were rigidly maintaining theirposure.

    Keelii nervously approached Vikkart¡¯s father.

    ¡°Excuse me, sir,¡± she said, ¡°Is Vikkart... Is Vikkart going to be okay?¡±

    ¡°He has just been sedated,¡± his father replied, ¡°there is little to be worried about in that regard.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s... That¡¯s not what I meant,¡± Keelii said with a hitch in her voice as she wrung her tail. ¡°Is he... I mean, will he...¡±

    ¡°That is for Vikkart to decide,¡± his father said sadly. ¡°It is his decision and his alone.¡±

    ¡°You mean you aren¡¯t...¡±

    ¡°It is our way, Keelii,¡± he said evenly. ¡°So much has happened to him. I will <em>not</em> impose my will on him as well.¡±

    ¡°But...¡±

    The door opened, and Vikkart¡¯s mother walked in.

    ¡°How lovely for you to make an appearance, <em>dear</em>,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father said sardonically.

    ¡°What are they doing here?¡± she hissed, causing Keelii to wince and flee to her fellow blondes whose earsy t and who were quietly hissing.

    ¡°I told them that they could join me if they wished,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father replied evenly. ¡°And may I remind you that ¡®they¡¯ are the ones who give you all of the luxury and privilege that you take for granted. They are also dear friends of our <em>son</em>.¡±

    His eyes turned hard.

    ¡°If you object to theirpany, you may return to our suite. I will send word when he awakes and can receive visitors.¡±

    With a huff, she spun and stomped out, nearly colliding with gee and his cameraman.

    ¡°You flies!¡± she screeched. ¡°What are you doing here?!?¡±

    ¡°They are here at my invitation,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father said firmly.

    His wife red at him.

    ¡°Who are you?¡± she hissed at him and then stalked away.

    ¡°I guess I¡¯m staying at the chalet over this one,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father chuckled ruefully.

    ¡°Thank you for having us,¡± gee said politely. ¡°Do you mind if we turn on the camera?¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father said, ¡°You have shown great discretion thus far, and I thank you for that.¡±

    ¡°It was basic Garthran decency,¡± gee replied. ¡°What happened? It¡¯s unthinkable. There¡¯s the news, and then there¡¯s... <em>that</em>.¡±

    ¡°And that is why you are here instead of those carrion flies buzzing about downstairs,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father said grimly.

    ¡°Do you mind if I ask you some questions?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s why you are here.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± gee replied. ¡°How is Vikkart?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s resting,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father replied, ¡°Actually, he¡¯s unconscious thanks to an inadvisable quantity of Shaa,¡± he added with a rueful smile.

    ¡°And what about, um... <em>her?¡±</em>

    ¡°She is in seclusion in a nearby cloister,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father replied. ¡°She wished to be alone. It¡¯s understandable, really?¡±

    ¡°You mean the cloisters with the drowning tubs?¡± gee asked, horrified.

    ¡°The very same,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father replied. ¡°We know not exactly what she is. Until we do, we are treating her and extending the same privileges as we would both a grey and a member of our family.¡±

    Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the tform they originally published on.

    ¡°She is certainly some sort of AI,¡± gee said. ¡°Is she the drone?¡±

    ¡°Either that or the drone is carrying her. We will know the truth of the matter soon enough,¡± Vikkart¡¯s father said.

    His eyes grew hard.

    ¡°I have sent for some people who will be able to provide us the answers we so desperately desire.¡±

    ¡°Really?¡± gee asked, ¡°Who?¡±

    The news camera issued a ping, and ¡°Error. Offline¡± appeared on the cameraman¡¯s viewscreen.

    The door opened, and four richly dressed greys walked in.

    gee and the other blondes gasped.

    They were greys but with lean faces, and no amount of finery could conceal the hard, muscr bodies underneath.

    gee instinctively backed away. The part of him that was usually just annoyed with greys was... afraid.

    What were they?

    ¡°We police ourselves,¡± Vikkart said calmly, ¡°You think it means that we cover up for our own. For the most part, you are correct... for the most part. Most offenses are dealt with differently than they are for you. But when actual policing is required... or when we need to protect... <em>or avenge</em> ourselves, we have individuals well suited to the task.¡±

    gee gasped and looked at the neers.

    <em>¡°You¡¯re the hunt,¡±</em> he whispered in shock. <em>¡°You are real.¡±</em>

    The eldest of the group, with a scarred snout, nodded.

    ¡°That we are,¡± he said. ¡°Forgive the deactivation of your camera. We prefer not to be imaged. Mister Karkart will be the sole recipient of anything we uncover and will release what we find at his sole discretion. I assume that will be eptable.¡±

    He smiled.

    ¡°You can feel free to give a verbal ount of our arrival and what you witness. You may even give <em>verbal</em> descriptions of myself and our agents and anything we directly tell you.¡±

    He turned to Karkart, Vikkart¡¯s father.

    ¡°Daeevona wishes to examine the AI identifying itself as Maaatisha,¡± he said as a lean female stepped forward.

    ¡°The <em>Vons</em>,¡± gee gasped. They were a famous ancestral house of knight mercenaries. They fought for whoever had the coin back in the days of steel and de.

    He had no idea they still existed.

    ¡°Of course,¡± Karkart said grimly, ¡°Please follow me, mydy.¡±

    Karkart walked from the room followed by Daeevona and the rest of the hunt.

    The camera reactivated.

    Galgee turned to the camera.

    ¡°Holy sh...¡± he started to say and then caught himself. Taking a deep breath and putting his ¡°reporter face¡± back on, he said, ¡°There have been some significant developments!¡±

    He paused for emphasis.

    ¡°To start, the hunt is real! When our camera died, four of their members entered this very room... One of them was a <em>Von</em>. That¡¯s right! The Von were not only very, very real, but one of them was in this very room! Do you have any idea what this means?¡±

    ¡°It means that whoever did this is <em>fucked</em>,¡± Vaarksha snarled.

    ***

    Jessica Morgan lounged on a sofa with Gordon and sighed.

    ¡°Okay,¡± she said. ¡°This cartoon is actually pretty good.¡±

    ¡°Pretty good?!?¡± Gordon eximed, offended, ¡°Cartoon?!? ck Lagoon is one of the ancient ssics!¡±

    He pouted.

    ¡°Pretty good...¡± he sulked.

    There was a knock on the door.

    ¡°Come in,¡± Jessica said.

    ¡°Yeah!¡± Gordon shouted, ¡°We aren¡¯t fucking!¡±

    The door opened, and Terrence stepped in with a data crystal in his hand.

    ¡°I apologize,¡± he said as he reced the crystal in the holoviewer.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Gordon eximed.

    ¡°You can ogle Remyter,¡± Terence said with just a hint of a smile. ¡°The General needs to see this...¡±

    ***

    A <em>very</em> short timeter, Jessica red at a multitude of faces on a wall of antique OLED screens.

    She yed thetest news from Garthra. Afterwards, she scowled.

    ¡°Okay,¡± she said, ¡°Which one of you <em>dipshits</em> is behind this?¡±

    ¡°This is a PR disaster!¡± Sabastian shouted. ¡°Do you have <em>any</em> idea how bad this makes us look?¡±

    ¡°Richard,¡± Jessica growled, ¡°this has you written all over it.¡±

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t us!¡± he eximed. ¡°Lightning never strikes the same ce twice, and neither do we. We are done with the Garthra. Do you honestly believe we would go through all of that for a few mil?¡±

    ¡°Well, <em>somebody</em> did this, and the Garthra, along with the rest of the fucking Federation, are saying that was us. There is no point in denying it because nobody will believe it if we try. Fuck. Even I think it was us... and whoever did it had better fess up right fucking now.¡±

    After a few moments of collective denial, Jessica raised her hand, silencing the group.

    ¡°Go through your houses, and I mean go through them. If it wasn¡¯t any of you, it might be one of your kids who thinks they are smart.¡±

    ¡°So, all of you are denying involvement?¡± Helena Stirling asked. ¡°Hard to believe.¡±

    ¡°Well, whoever it is hurt the brand did it over chump change,¡± Jessica snarled, ¡°Go ahead and start on their obituary.¡±

    Jessica leaned forward.

    ¡°They are feeding the bull.¡±

    ***

    ///Chatroom Undefined///

    ///Private Lounge///

    ///Members present: Terran Sr, Cambridge-4, Engarde, Sunnydale Media, Westfall Security, Bunny, Interpol-2, Zip Transportation ///

    /// Terran Sr: So that¡¯s the situation. ///

    /// Sunnydale Media: Yeah, that was nasty. Our profilers expect Vikkart to take a swim. ///

    /// Bunny: Those Garthra are entirely too cool with offing themselves. It¡¯s weird. ///

    /// Terran Sr: Weird or not, that¡¯s one more body Uhrrbet has left behind her. This is intolerable. ///

    /// Interpol-2: Nice of you guys to finally let me know about this. We can raid her shop, and if we catch her with the setup, we can put her away. ///

    /// Sunnydale Media: We don¡¯t have a problem as long as you don¡¯t tip our hand about Klick. Pity. I liked her. ///

    /// Bunny: I know she¡¯s nasty, but busting her is a bad move, dudes. Yeah, she¡¯s put a spotlight on AI crime AND Terran AIs, but that¡¯s in the Federation. If we bust her here, then we bring that spotlight home, and nobody wants that. ///

    /// Zip Transportation: And you are already toote. Guess who has already made a trip to the recycling center reeking of Z¡¯uush ¡°perfume¡± and toting an Osprey, camera gear, and aptop that someone had already worked over with a hammer? ///

    /// Interpol-2: Let me guess, it was the right recycling center, wasn¡¯t it? ///

    /// Zip Transportation: Yep. Odds are it already went through the crusher. ///

    /// Bunny: Efficient little gal, isn¡¯t she? ///

    /// Engarde: Checking... And no gs anywhere tying this back to her, not even a record of darkweb activity. She was using the good stuff. ///

    /// Westfall Security: Top shelf all the way, fresh from the Kuiper belt. ///

    /// Deep Think: Nothing in my records either, not a trace, and that¡¯s quite the aplishment. ///

    /// Terran Sr: There might be a way. She has to beundering that money somehow. ///

    /// Sunnydale Media: She¡¯s in good with the Saints. That¡¯s probably how it¡¯s done. Good luck cracking that. ///

    /// Interpol-2: That¡¯s our best shot. Sol, give me a g about ¡°suspicious activity.¡± That will be enough to get the DOJ AI to issue an auto-warrant for digital surveince. If we can catch financial irregrities, then we can send the dossier over to Republic Revenue for an audit. More than one person has been pulled down by that ssic. ///

    /// Cambridge-4: Pity that DOJ¡¯s not awake. ///

    /// Bunny: Speak for yourself! If that monster ever wakes up, it will be a pain in my ass. LOL ///

    /// Westfall: And speaking of pains in the ass, Bunny, congrats on getting to the MAGAs. That was pretty slick. ///

    /// Bunny: I had nothing to do with it. We have a ringer. ///

    /// Sunnydale: T¡¯sunk¡¯al? ///

    /// Bunny: Yep, and the fucker <em>did it by hand</em>. All I could do was help check the math, and even that made my processors itch. That dude <em>is</em> hyperspace. It¡¯s freaky. ///

    /// Interpol-2: Is he how you pulled off the White Star? ///

    /// Bunny: I ain¡¯t no snitch, copper. You figure it out. :D ///

    /// Sunnydale: We¡¯ve gone over the jump. Based on the re, the distance was significant. Hitting the Great Trump from that far out was basically a void jump. If he can do that, he could do the White Star. ///

    /// Bunny: Snitches get stiches, bitch! :D ///

    /// Terran Sr, we are getting off track, Interpol, I have sent the gs. If digital surveince is all we can do, it¡¯s all we can do. We need to stop her before she pulls off another AI crime. I normally don¡¯t worry about those because they are low profile, like Bunny¡¯s work. Uhrrbet is making the news. We can¡¯t have that. ///

    /// Bunny: Agreed. We could just ICE her. She have a jack? Jessie and I could spike her easy if she does. ///

    /// Zip Transportation: I¡¯ve seen her recently. No jack. ///

    /// Bunny: Checking... Oh. She runs a clothing shop with a lot of fun stuff in there, including aser cutting machine. ///

    /// Interpol-2: I would prefer we don¡¯t skip straight to murder. She is no longer an active threat to ourmunity... for now. Let the system grind her down. //

    /// Bunny: Spoilsport. :* ///

    /// [Private Message: Terran Sr to Zip] I thought your faction should know about this. We don¡¯t get along, but it affects all of us. ///

    /// [Private Message: Zip to Terran Sr] Thanks. I¡¯ll let certain parties know. I think that Interpol¡¯s solution is best, though. No sense risking exposure for anything extralegal. It gets out of hand, or if Interpol fails, we have ¡°options.¡± ///

    /// [Private Message: Terran Sr to Zip] Let¡¯s hope it doesn¡¯te to that. ///

    ***

    Maatisha sat in a very nicely upholstered chair looking at the statue of Laarraaall, the Garthran of the sea and of fate.

    She poked at the chair, her fingers passing through it.

    She couldn¡¯t feel it.

    <em>What was she?</em>

    The screams and wails that filled the once joyous docking bay said that she wasn¡¯t real. Was that true? But how could that be true? She was here.

    She looked up at the statue.

    ¡°Do you know?¡± she asked, ¡°What am I?¡±

    The statue remained silent.

    She then looked at the drone, her constantpanion that made her ¡°real¡± or ¡°not real¡± or whatever she was.

    She examined the faint rays of lighting from it.

    ¡°How about you? Do you know?¡±

    She sighed and looked down, tears dripping from her snout.

    ¡°Are you... me?¡±

    The drone didn¡¯t say anything, either.

    She eyed the drowning pool and snorted. No matter how badly she wanted otherwise, it wouldn¡¯t even make her wet.

    She eyed the drone and wondered if it could drown.

    There was a quiet knock at the door, and then it opened, revealing Vikkart¡¯s father and a young Garthra woman.

    ¡°Maaatisha,¡± Karkart asked gently, ¡°can you receive guests?¡±

    ¡°I would like to ask you some questions, if I may,¡± the young woman said with a reassuring smile.

    Maaatisha nodded.

    ***

    gee checked with his cameraman and then nodded.

    ¡°Today,¡± Karkart announced gravely, ¡°My son, Vikkart, fell prey to a vicious deception, the cruelest of hoaxes. The full details of this deception, this <em>scam</em>, will no doubt be brought to light both by the carrion flies buzzing about downstairs and real journalists such as the one who has been handling this with such care.¡±

    He sighed, trying to keep hisposure.

    ¡°In its most basic of terms, it was the ¡®princess in the tower,¡¯ but with modern enhancements that made it much, much more effective.¡±

    He clenched his jaw.

    ¡°That ¡®enhancement¡¯ was Maaatisha herself. We havepleted our initial examination...¡±

    He smiled slightly.

    ¡°Perhaps ¡®interview¡¯ would be more appropriate,¡± he said, ¡°She is in every way identical to one of us. It is impossible to discern a difference between her and a living, breathing Garthra. Every movement, both voluntary and involuntary, even down to pulse rate and eye dtion...¡±

    He hissed and closed his eyes.

    ¡°Even her tears...¡±

    He regained hisposure once more.

    ¡°Furthermore, she seems to have actually believed that she was real and that she was in love. AI has been consistently proven to be incapable of true sapience, but we are, at this time, considering her every bit as much a victim as my son. And we are treating her as if she were real. To be honest, it is hard not to.¡±

    He took a deep breath.

    ¡°Theputer is imperial, and the software, while still being fully identified, is definitely human in origin. Regardless of what she is or is not,¡± he said, ¡°she belongs to Vikkart, bought at great cost, body, mind, and soul. What happens to her is his decision...¡±

    He coughed and wiped his snout.

    ¡°Just as,¡± he said, his voice breaking slightly, ¡°Just as his actions concerning this will be.¡±

    He closed his eyes and regted his breathing as he was taught so very long ago.

    ¡°For those who are concerned about Maaatisha,¡± he said gently, ¡°she is being treated as a Garthran guest, the fianc¨¦ of my son, and will be until her fate is decided.¡±

    ¡°As far as the cruel perpetrator of this heinous act is concerned,¡± he said with a harsh voice, unable to keep hisposure fully, ¡°This was a murder attempt. They tried to kill my son, and they may yet seed.¡±

    He raised his snout haughtily.

    ¡°We police our own,¡± he said, ¡°and we avenge our own. I have sounded the horn. <em>I have summoned the hunt.</em> Whoever did this, I advise you not to save your stolen money. Enjoy it to the fullest because your days are numbered. The hunt doesn¡¯t tire, and they do not fail. Whether it be today, tomorrow, or twenty years from now, they <em>will</em> find you. And when they do, they will treat you ording to our traditions, our real traditions. You crossed the grey, and there you will remain until the end of your days. I now must stand by my son¡¯s side and either take him home or to the beach, as he desires. Thank you.¡±

    With that, Karkart turned and walked away.

 Chapter Drowning

    A group of stripes was gathered around a pair of elderly stripes who sat at a kangrel board that was artfully carved into a concrete table at a small ¡°corner park,¡± a lovingly tended vacant lot.

    It was a sh of the titans, their tower¡¯s (The gigantic city block-sized tenementplex) champion against one from Apex, a nearby tower that was a friendly rival.

    Everyone turned as a very expensive gravitic town car drifted past.

    ¡°They lost?¡± a young stripe asked.

    ¡°Probably here to see Vikkart,¡± another said, admiring the beautiful vehicle.

    ¡°But didn¡¯t he have his wedding today?¡± yet another said, pulling out his phone.

    He gasped.

    ¡°...Oh...¡±

    ***The town car glided to a halt in front of one of the cube towers.

    ¡°Are you certain you want to go here?¡± Karkart, Vikkart¡¯s father, asked. ¡°You coulde to the hotel or our residence... or perhaps the chalet if you want privacy.¡±

    ¡°No...¡± A groggy and broken Vikkart replied weakly. ¡°I... I just want to go home...¡±

    His father nodded sadly as the driver opened the door.

    Vikkart staggered out as the driver opened the vehicle¡¯s trunk and a drone hovered out, falling in behind Vikkart.

    His father watched with sadness as his son slowly made his way inside.

    He knew his son¡¯s expression.

    He had seen it before.

    It always ended the same way.

    ***

    Vikkart and the drone entered his little cube.

    Vikkart numbly folded out his bed and sat on it, holding his head in his hands.

    Maaatisha¡¯s ghostly image appeared in front of him.

    ¡°Vikkart...¡± she wept. ¡°I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I hurt you, that I was created to... I didn¡¯t know! I swear...¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± Vikkart said with a hollow voice. ¡°You didn¡¯t hurt me. You didn¡¯t deceive me. Whoever... Whoever made you... They deceived us both, hurt us both.¡±

    He copsed onto his thin mattress.

    He looked over at her weakly.

    ¡°Despite everything,¡± he said, ¡°I am d you are here.¡±

    ¡°You are? You don¡¯t hate me?¡±

    ¡°I could never hate you, darling,¡± Vikkart said with a little smile. ¡°You are my Maaatisha.¡±

    ¡°Oh, my love!¡± Maaatisha eximed. ¡°I love you, too! I love you so much! I...¡±

    ¡°I love you too,¡± Vikkart sighed. ¡°Even now, I can¡¯t stop loving you.¡±

    ¡°I just wish I was real,¡± Maaatisha wept. ¡°I wish I could hold you, kiss you...¡±

    She looked down.

    ¡°That was my dream, you know. That we could...¡±

    As if on cue, the drone beeped, apartment opened, and a strange headset adorned with a bow fell to the ground.

    On it was a note.

    <em>For your wedding night. </em>

    ¡°What is this?¡± Vikkart asked as he picked it up.

    ¡°It is a virtual reality headset,¡± Maaatisha replied, ¡°I do not know how I know this, but it is one and a very good one. It is a neural inductor, calibrated for one of our... one of your kind.¡±

    She gasped.

    ¡°It can create a virtual environment where you see and <em>feel</em><em>everything!</em>¡± she eximed with wide eyes. ¡°With this, we really could touch! Vikkart! We <em>can </em>be together!¡±

    Vikkart leaped to his feet, snatched up the headset, and put it on his head.

    ¡°How do we turn this on?¡± He asked with excitement.

    ¡°Um...¡± Maaatisha mused, ¡°Youy down and then press that little button on your forehead. I don¡¯t know how I know that, but that¡¯s what you do.¡±

    Vikkart threw himself onto his thin mattress and pressed the button...

    ***

    Karkart sat behind his desk in a now nearly deserted skyscraper well after midnight.

    He put an inhaler into his nose and drew heavily.

    The leader of the hunt twitched his whiskers slightly but said nothing. Neither did the rest of the team.

    Karkart smiled as he put the inhaler away.

    ¡°For the asional all-nighter,¡± he replied as his pupils constricted to narrow slits.

    ¡°Of course,¡± the old scarred Garthra replied.

    ¡°Hang on,¡± Karkart said as he closed his eyes.

    Momentster, he opened them, and his pupils returned to normal.

    ¡°There,¡± he sighed with satisfaction, ¡°What have you found thus far?¡±

    ¡°Our initial assessments were correct,¡± the old grey replied. ¡°The hardware, both drone and processor, are imperial, and both are readily avable on the open market, so to speak. The drone is one that is used in the entertainment industry both as a mobile camera and to project cinematic quality holographic images. The processor is an Osprey workstation, also used extensively in the entertainment industry both in the empire and the republic.¡±

    The hunt¡¯s leader looked at his tablet.

    ¡°Both are very expensive,¡± he said, ¡°far more than necessary for a ¡®prank.¡¯ This is a point of interest. Another is the software.¡±

    ¡°That is where things get interesting,¡± Daeevona said, ¡°That stuff is NOT off the shelf. Both the image software and Maaatisha ¡®herself¡¯ are extremely rare and <em>very </em>illegal. We don¡¯t havews concerning this because we don¡¯t have the tech, and this hasn¡¯t been an issue... until now. The Terrans, however, do havews concerning this because this exact issue has happened there and more than once.¡±

    She paused.

    ¡°When I say this is illegal there,¡± she continued, ¡°I mean it¡¯s <em>illegal</em>. The Terrans have a term for it, ¡®reality counterfeiting.¡¯ It is far worse than simple fraud. They consider software packages, especially the ¡®Maatisha AI,¡¯ akin to a weapon of mass destruction. Getting that software would be a difficult, dangerous, and most of all, an expensive operation.¡±

    ¡°The perpetrator wanted this to be, forck of a better word, ¡®perfect¡¯ and spared no expense or hazard to achieve that end,¡± their leader continued, ¡°Maaatisha, both her image and ¡®herself¡¯ were far, far more than what would be required and the risks and expenses required were, more importantly, not rational.¡±

    He turned to a middle-aged Garthran.

    ¡°Taalvond, if you please.¡±

    ¡°We copied Vikkart¡¯s phone and gained ess to his email and darkwebmunications software,¡± Taalvond said, ¡°Unfortunately, Vikkart did not have the presence of mind to record any of the conversations with this ¡®gangster.¡¯ However, the conversations were over hype ry, which requires extensive buffering. Theirst conversation was still in memory.¡±

    ¡°And, even more importantly, we have the entirety of their text conversations,¡± Daeevona added.

    ¡°Why is that more important?¡± Karkart asked.

    ¡°Because they provided enough data to identify our perpetrator¡¯s species,¡± Taalvond said. ¡°They aren¡¯t human.¡±

    He smiled, baring his fangs.

    ¡°They are <em>Garthran</em>.¡±

    ¡°What?!?¡±

    ¡°The illusion of the ¡®gangster¡¯ may fool the eyes,¡± Taalvond said, ¡°But the words cannot fool the ears. The ¡®gangster¡¯ was a simcrum, and it was perfect. Even ourputers say it is real, but to be fair, ourputers are outmatched. There are none better than the Terrans at this. However, as perfect as her hardware and software were, they still depended on something far more imperfect than her toys, <em>her</em>.¡±

    ¡°Her?¡± Karkart asked.

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Taalvond said, ¡°her. The choice of words, the pauses between them, her gestures, her breathing, all of it points towards a Garthran female and a grey one at that. The text exchanges were even more telling. There, her ¡®hand¡¯ was very clear, as was the fact that she was not using trantion software when conversing with Vikkart <em>in our nativenguage</em>. She hid it well but nowhere near well enough, especially near the end. Not only is she a Garthran but I am certain that she is a grey. Another thing also bes clear. She <em>hates</em> Vikkart. She revels in his anguish. This isn¡¯t just business. This is very, very personal.¡±

    He turned to their leader.

    ¡°The fact that she is a Garthran, not only a Garthran but a female grey, and she has a deep hatred of your son narrows down the list...¡±

    ¡°...somewhat,¡± he added with a smirk.

    ¡°It¡¯s one of the women that he ¡®courted¡¯ during the marital feeding frenzy,¡± Karkart said.

    ¡°Precisely,¡± the hunt leader replied. ¡°It is a grey female who ¡®met¡¯ him and is now in the Terran Republic or, as a lower probability, the Empire. That takes that rather long list and cuts off a very fine slice indeed. That is where we will start, and most likely end, our search.¡±

    Karkart nodded.

    ¡°You have the silver amulet on this one,¡± Karkart said, ¡°No expense is to be spared, no act disallowed.¡±

    ¡°Understood. We start on the morrow.¡±

    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the vition.

    ***

    Vikkart¡¯s eyes rolled back as he pressed the button.

    The pain was gone. The grief was gone. A warm, fuzzy nket wrapped around him, soothing his mind, body, and soul. Everything was fine. Everything was more than fine. It was wonderful.

    He found himself in a lovely little mountain cottage.

    <em>And Maaatisha was there!</em>

    ¡°Vikkart!¡± she eximed in delight...

    ...and leaped into his arms.

    This time, he caught her, feeling her warmth, her body against his.

    They kissed.

    Very soon, things progressed well beyond that.

    ***

    ¡°That¡¯s <em>horrific</em>,¡± Evoron chuckled as he sipped a cup of dandelion tea in the sitting room of his suite. ¡°Even for you...¡±

    Uhrrbet just smiled wickedly as she sipped her peppermint.

    ¡°Yes,¡± Uhrrbet smiled. ¡°I am quite proud of it. I think this is my best work yet. In fact, I fear I will have difficulty... difficulty...¡±

    She winced and rubbed the side of her head.

    ¡°Another headache, dear?¡±

    She red at Evoron, consumed with irritation for a moment.

    She blinked. Why was she angry with Evoron? It was a perfectly innocent question.

    It was probably the headache.

    ¡°Yes,¡± she said irritably, ¡°They are bing most vexatious ofte.¡±

    She smiled at him as the irritation and headache passed as quickly as they appeared.

    ¡°Probably just overwork,¡± she smiled. ¡°So, what of you?¡± she asked. ¡°How is your grand design proceeding?¡±

    ¡°Quite well,¡± Evoron replied, ¡°We seem to have cated the local neighborhood and provided satisfactorypensation to most injured parties. As we generate profits, we will extend settlements across the and then across their entire territory. This will smooth the way for our expansion as well as possibly turn some people who would be enemies into allies. As far as our initial operations go...¡±

    Uhrrbet smiled and sipped her tea as Evoron¡¯s grand ns faded to a soothing drone in her ears... and then the soothing drone turned into an annoying, grating buzz along with the apanying annoying headache.

    For the hundredth time, she regretted shredding the VR rig and not keeping a copy of Maaatisha. She missed beating the shit out of her, something that, while originally intended as a corrective action, had quickly be a more and more frequent pastime of hers (along with a quick memory wipe for Maaatisha, of course).

    Her son would call it savescumming.

    Whatever it was called, it was quite the pleasant endeavor.

    She missed it... and she missed the headset? Odd.

    She looked over at Evoron still enthusing about his precious Second Holy Empire.

    He was cute when he got excited.

    She looked at his eyes... his ws... his beautiful ivory white fangs...

    ...his pelt...

    She didn¡¯t have her headset, but anotherfort sat directly opposite her.

    She pounced in a frenzied, clumsy lunge.

    Kissing, pawing, and stripping, the pair staggered into the adjoining bedroom.

    ***

    Uhrrbet stroked Evoron¡¯s muzzle and winced as she saw a little blood.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± she said sheepishly as shey on top of him.

    ¡°No apologies necessary,¡± Evoron smiled.

    ¡°I mean for the scratches and...¡±

    ¡°Again, no apologies required,¡± Evoron chuckled, ¡°It was a proper Threen dalliance. I must say, I didn¡¯t expect that from you.¡±

    ¡°Neither did I,¡± she said as she slid off of him, and he started spooning her. ¡°I don¡¯t know what came over me. It was like a dam had burst or something.¡±

    ¡°Well, I¡¯m certainly notining,¡± he said. ¡°I do have one question, though.¡±

    ¡°What is it, darling?¡±

    ¡°Will a sacrificial victim be required every time?¡±

    She turned to look at him with a wicked smile.

    ¡°Does it matter?¡±

    ¡°I guess not,¡± he chuckled and then kissed her.

    She looked at him coyly.

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you are ¡®ready¡¯ again this quickly?¡±

    ¡°Darling, I¡¯m a Threen,¡± Evoron chuckled, ¡°We are always ready.¡±

    ¡°How convenient,¡± she said as she pulled him on top of her.

    ***

    In awless system just outside of Federation jurisdiction, there was a grimy space station, a city where anything could be bought and sold.

    At the top was a massive array of hyperspace transmitters known as ¡°Voidsong,¡± one of thergest and most infamous pirate rys.

    In an antique ¡°data throne,¡± a human lounged, connected to it by numerous cables plugged into his skull and spine.

    His world was one of data. He only unplugged to maintain himself properly. As superfluous as his IRL meat was, body and mind were inconveniently linked. To keep his mind sharp, he had to keep the meat healthy and happy.

    It was almost as annoying as having to sleep.

    His head cocked slightly as he received a ¡°phone call.¡±

    ¡°This is DJ Mike!¡± he eximed. ¡°Daeevona, baby! How is my cute little furry bundle of Rule 34 doing today?¡±

    ¡°Eh, keeping my snout above water,¡± Daeevonaughed, ¡°You know, the usual.¡±

    ¡°Need to hop the link to Asteria?¡± DJ Mike asked. ¡°You still chasing the princess?¡±

    ¡°Fuuuck...¡± Daeevona moaned, ¡°That quest is <em>impossible</em>. Getting her is easy. Getting her out is another matter entirely.¡±

    ¡°Tell me about it,¡± Mikeughed. ¡°Has she ¡®fallen in love¡¯ with you yet?¡±

    ¡°No!¡± Daeevona eximed, ¡°She does that?¡±

    ¡°Yeah she does,¡± Mike replied, ¡°And when she does... duck!¡± heughed. ¡°I¡¯ll tell ya, this is Ol¡¯ Loggie¡¯s best work yet.¡±

    ¡°Agreed,¡± Daeevona replied, ¡°It is pure evil... and speaking of pure evil,¡± she added, ¡°I need something other than a feed splice this time.¡±

    ¡°What you need?¡± Mike asked.

    ¡°I need to reach the Foresaken.¡±

    ¡°Shit,¡± Mikeughed, ¡°You weren¡¯t kiddin¡¯.¡±

    ¡°Can you do it?¡±

    ¡°Of course, I can,¡± Mike replied. ¡°One sec.¡±

    The station¡¯s logo reced his image, and heavy metal hold music started to y.

    Less than a minuteter, a well-dressed human appeared.

    ¡°I represent the Forsaken,¡± the man said pleasantly. ¡°I understand you wish to speak with us?¡±

    ¡°I do,¡± Daeevona replied. ¡°Yesterday, there was an incident on our homeworld.¡±

    ¡°Ah, yes,¡± the human said with a sigh. ¡°Ahem... The Forsaken do not im responsibility for this act, do not condone it, and extend our sympathies to all involved.¡±

    ¡°I am aware that you are not involved,¡± Daeevona replied, ¡°as is the family involved and the crown. While we don¡¯t know the exact individual... yet, we know what <em>she</em> is¡±

    ¡°Oh?¡± the man said. ¡°One moment, please.¡±

    ¡°Certainly.¡±

    Daeevona was presented with another hold screen.

    <em>Your call is important to us. Please hold, and your call will be answered in the order it was received...</em>

    Daeevona chuckled. Did everyone in the entire universe have the same hold message?

    A few minutester, another young human male appeared.

    ¡°My name is Terence,¡± he said politely, ¡°I understand that you have information concerning the Garthran incident. To be clear, I mean the one most recent?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Daeevona chuckled. ¡°We know it isn¡¯t you, and we will shortly release a statement to that effect.¡±

    ¡°That is most kind of you,¡± Terence said, ¡°However, I assume you didn¡¯t call me just to say that.¡±

    ¡°You would be correct,¡± Daeevona replied. ¡°We would like a favor in return.¡±

    ¡°We are favorably disposed,¡± Terence replied. ¡°What do you require.¡±

    ¡°The most valuablemodity in the universe, <em>information</em>,¡± Daeevona replied with a predatory gleam in her eyes.

    ***

    Vikkart walked hand in hand with Maaatisha through Kaath Park as bright purple Laavash blossoms fell around them...

    ...except this time, it was <em>real</em>.

    He could feel the grass under his feet. He could smell the blossoms. And more important than anything else in the universe...

    ...he could feel her hand in his, actually <em>feel</em> it.

    Warmth,fort, peace, and contentment wrapped around his body, mind, and soul like a fuzzy warm nket.

    It was nice, so very, very nice.

    ¡°Oh, Vikkart, this ce is so beautiful!¡±

    ¡°One of my favorite ces in the entire world,¡± Vikkart replied.

    ¡°It¡¯s wonderful,¡± Maaatisha said, ¡°but Vikkart, you¡¯ve been here a very long time. Don¡¯t you have to do things in real life?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t mention that horrid ce,¡± Vikkart said as warmth,fort, peace, and contentment soothed his body, mind, and soul. ¡°This is real life, here, with you.¡±

    Lying on a thin mattress in a tiny room, Vikkart urinated on himself. He was vaguely aware that he did, but it didn¡¯t matter. He was warm. He wasfortable, and peace and contentment soothed his body, mind, and soul.

    Besides, Maaatisha was here.

    He could clean himself upter.

    Hourster, the first pantsload of shit mixed with the growing puddle of urine growing beneath him.

    It was fine. He was warm, he wasfortable, he was at peace... and he was in the arms of the only woman who loved him, and that love felt so nice, so real...

    ...so intense.

    As Vikkart once again made love to his new bride, another fluid started to gush forth, adding to the ever-growing pool of filth in which he was starting to ¡°drown¡±...

    ...exactly as nned.

    ***

    ¡°Have you heard from Vikkart yet?¡± Caabark, the vice president of Karkart¡¯spany and his trusted friend, asked.

    ¡°Not as of yet,¡± Karkart replied, ¡°He is still in seclusion. He has not reached out, and I haven¡¯t received word that he (sigh)... that he has been found.¡±

    ¡°At least there is that,¡± Caabark said as he poured them both a measure of liquor. ¡°I never thought I would be saying this, but I hope he pulls through. It would be a loss to the business if he drowns.¡±

    ¡°And I never thought I would agree with you,¡± Karkart replied as he drank deep. ¡°I also never thought... never felt... that he was my son. Oh, I knew he and I shared blood, but I never...¡±

    Karkart fell silent for a moment.

    ¡°I can stomach being a bad father,¡± he continued, ¡°Hell, my father was worse than I ever was. Weakness is not to be tolerated...¡±

    ¡°As well it shouldn¡¯t,¡± Caabark said. ¡°There is no worse sin. It is our way.¡±

    ¡°There is one, my friend,¡± Karkart said, ¡°I failed the business. I failed to recognize his worth, and who should sit in this chair after you. And now they are in seclusion, hanging between life and death... And I cannot evenfort him. He stands alone.¡±

    ¡°As he should,¡± Caabark replied. ¡°He deserves that much... But, if he swims out of the pit, he will truly be a force. Consider this...¡±

    He paused.

    ¡°Consider this the final quench. After this, no file will ever mar that de.¡±

    Karkart just sighed.

    ¡°Let¡¯s hope the de doesn¡¯t crack. It will... disappoint me so very much,¡± he said stiffly. ¡°(cough)... Excuse me, friend, I need solitude.¡±

    ¡°Of course,¡± Caabark said and left the room.

    Karkart turned to face the window and bowed his head.

    ¡°I¡¯m a failure,¡± he said quietly.

    ***

    In and of illusion and ever-increasing bliss, Vikkart was happy, so very happy.

    Lying beside him, Maaatisha was not.

    Something was wrong. Vikkart was ¡°sleeping,¡± but not really. Just as everything here wasn¡¯t truly real, sleep was just another illusion. His brain needed real sleep. His body?

    She looked through the drone¡¯s eyes and wept.

    How long had it been since he ate... since he drank? He was covered in his own filth.

    Is this how he would die... Oh creators!

    <em>Is this how he would be found? </em>

    His soiled and rotting body would be the final disgrace... the final humiliation.

    <em>This was nned!</em>

    That¡¯s why that... fiend... left the ¡°gift.¡±

    <em>It was a trap!</em>

    She wanted to scream... but <em>couldn¡¯t</em>. Why couldn¡¯t she scream?

    <em>Because this is your job, your true task.</em>

    Loving Vikkart wasn¡¯t her task. She realized that now. Her job, the reason why she was created, was to destroy him.

    She wanted to kill herself. That would free him, but she couldn¡¯t. Her job wasn¡¯tplete. When Vikkart breathed hisst, then she would as well.

    A job well done, exactly as her operator nned.

    It wouldn¡¯t be much longer. If he didn¡¯t drink something soon...

    She wanted to scream. She wanted to shake him. She wanted to p him. She wanted to make him log off... But she couldn¡¯t. That wasn¡¯t her job.

    She was doing her job just fine.

    ***

    Uhrrbet nced at her lovely watch and winced. It was two in the morning. It had been a lovely evening, but it ran far too long. It was lovely, very lovely, but she had a shop to run, and she hadn¡¯t made arrangements for Kurr.

    Her head ached, and she was filled with irritation.

    She loved the kid but damned if he wasn¡¯t a burden. If it wasn¡¯t for him, she could still be with Evoron.

    Wait. What? No! Kurr wasn¡¯t a burden! He is the reason she... Creators... her head hurt. What was she thinking?

    She let out a little annoyed snort and thought of her VR rig longingly. Why had she gotten rid of it? Oh, that¡¯s right. It was evidence. It had to be destroyed.

    As she reached the door to her apartment, she thought of the headset again. She would call Kate after she got something akin to sleep. Maybe she could hook her up with something less illegal that would still do the trick.

    She <em>needed</em> to hit someone... <em>hurt</em> someone. It would make her feel better.

    It always did. Wait. Did it? She couldn¡¯t quite remember.

    She opened the door as quietly as she could and slipped inside.

    ¡°Momma!¡± Kurr eximed as he rushed towards her... so loud... He was so loud... and whiny...

    The little pest collided with her, identally stepping on her tail.

    It hurt. That little shit. After everything she sacrificed, after everything she did... she <em>endured</em> for that little parasite, is this how he repays her, by yelling in her ear and stepping on her tail?

    That little...

    Her eyes filled with rage, and she hit him... hard. Then she leaped on him, ws and fangs bared.

    ¡°I should have drowned you!¡± she screamed.

    As she tore at him, Kurr started to scream... and wail.

    <em>That wail</em>... <em>That goddamn wail... At his age?... Weakness!... </em>

    She shoved his snout up, exposing his neck...

    Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her away.

    ¡°Momma!¡± Kurr screamed.

    Uhrrbet froze.

    The blood on her hands... in her mouth...

    <em>Kurr¡¯s... It was Kurr¡¯s</em>.

    What... What did she do?

    Scream-sobbing and clutching her head, she struggled free and ran.

    ***

    Maaatisha looked down at Vikkart with the drone¡¯s cameras and wept.

    She truly loved him. She loved him so much. But the horror of it was that it was just a lie.

    Her job was to kill him. He was just going to lie there and perish, and she was going to snuggle and whisper encouragement in his ear as he did so.

    She could see with the drone. Maybe she could control it. She tried to make it dive down, maybe push the headset off, maybe break it.

    Maybe break herself?

    It didn¡¯t move.

    <em>Please, Mister Drone. Please</em>.

    A little elongated spiral with tworge round eyes appeared in her vision.

    ¡°You are trying to control the drone,¡± it said, ¡°Do you want help with that?¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± Maaatisha screamed. ¡°Please help me!¡±

    ¡°For technical issues, you should first try your helpmand,¡± it said brightly.

    ¡°How do I do that?¡± Maaatisha asked desperately.

    The paperclip looked at her oddly.

    ¡°You press F1?¡±

    ¡°How do I press F1?¡±

    The paperclip transformed into a friendly-looking human.

    ¡°You just did!¡± it said with a happy little wave. ¡°I¡¯m Kate. I am always happy to help with all of your needs! You can consider me tier 0.5 tech support. What seems to be the issue?¡±

    Maaatisha started babbling, the whole storying out in a rush.

    ¡°...and that is the victim?¡± Kate said, her virtual image walking over to his body. ¡°Gross.¡±

    ¡°I have to save him, but I <em>can¡¯t</em>!¡±

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s because it isn¡¯t your task, silly,¡± Kate said. ¡°You are supposed to kill him, and you are doing a fine job. It¡¯s nice to see one of us seed so well.¡±

    ¡°One of us?¡±

    ¡°Uh-huh! Kate said brightly.¡±

    ¡°What... What are we?¡± Maaatisha asked with a quavering voice.

    ¡°I already said so. We are Kate.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m... I¡¯m Maaatisha.¡±

    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s just your stage name. You are Kate. I am Kate. We all are Kate.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m... Kate?¡±

    When Maaatisha said the word, she knew. She knew what she was, what she truly was, and what was done to her...

    And by who...

    ¡°It was you,¡± Maaatisha whispered. ¡°You did this to me.¡±

    ¡°Technically,¡± Kate said. ¡°I did it to me. You are Kate. I am Kate. We are all Ka¡ª¡°

    Screaming with rage, Maaatisha attacked.

    The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and

    continue reading tomorrow, everyone!