Chapter 49


    Fuck it.


    I didn''t know. I was just so tired of everyone having such a swell time and getting happy in such


    situations when I felt like I was suffering. Of course, I didn''t me anyone. I had no one to me but


    myself. Still, the fact that it seemed like no one was on my side when it came to Xander and I was not


    good for my mental health. When my body screamed for me to go to him and mymon sense gave


    way, I needed someone to pull on that little string of hesitancy and drag me back. Not push me further.


    Was I being immature about this? Maybe. Could I do anything to stop this feeling of betrayal from


    everyone around me? Maybe. I really didn''t know.


    "You can''t expect someone to stop or encourage you dear. Every decision you''ve made concerning


    Alpha Xander has been all on you. Granted, I have no idea what you have been through with him and I


    can''t say I haven''t thought of you falling in love with him and deciding to stay, but I want nothing more


    than for you both to be happy." she said, as she gradually wrapped her arms around my shoulders "If


    Belongs to ? n0velDrama.Org.


    you''re happy together, fine. If you''re happy apart, fine. I''m actually pretty d that you give him such a


    tough time most of the time and that he''s working to get you despite this."


    "You are?" I asked, looking up at her. dys smiled down at me, the warmth of it making me feel much


    better


    "Yes. It''s needed for character development." I chuckled at her words "Do you hate him?"


    "I..." Would I let someone I hate hold me the way Xander did? "I don''t think so."


    "Do you like him?"


    "I think he can be a good person when he wants to be. He cares about this pack and has a slightly


    good head on his shoulders. As an Alpha, he''s good for this ce."


    "What about for you?"


    "I can hardly stand him. He''s hot one moment, cold the next. Sometimes I want to understand him,


    other times, I wish he would just leave me alone. He''s not healthy for me but I can''t help feeling


    connected to him in more ways than one. It confuses me. Makes me anxious too. Yet, it excites me."


    "Then if you can''t help it, why do you allow your little moments of weakness to pull you down?" I stayed


    silent, gazing up at her as she stroked my back "These little moments do not define the entirety of who


    you are Luna Ava. Neither do they have to make you hesitant to do what you believe must be done.


    You have the power to do anything and everything."


    "You don''t think I''m crazy?"


    "Crazy? I have yet to meet any other pair of mates that have held-on on to the mating process like you


    two have in all of my life. It''spletely normal for things like this to happen, no matter what history


    you may have between you." She let go of me, cing her hands on her hips "The way I see it, if you


    don''t want it, it''ll never be reality. On the other hand, if a little part of you wants it, I believe there''s


    no stopping. It''s all on you. Now the question is...."


    She turned on her heel and began to walk away, but let me hear her final words.


    "Do you not want this or you''re too afraid to want this?"


    ...................


    "What''s with that distant look in your eyes?" Marcus asked. Ava jumped slightly where she sat and his


    eyebrows scrunched up as a frown became noticeable on his face


    "Nothing. I was just thinking about something." she smiled, but he could see it wasn''t that genuine. She


    was always expressive and couldn''t hide how she was feeling in front of anyone. He found it quite


    endearing "Do you want to eat now?"


    He nodded his head in response and quietly watched as she began to unpack the food she had


    brought with her.


    "I''m d to know you''re eating well while you''re here." he said, wanting to start up a conversation. Her


    softughter filled the room as she turned to walk towards his bed


    "Although I can handle myself in the kitchen, dys makes sure I don''t allow myself to give in to my


    urges of not wanting to eat on some days. It''s nice having her around. I''m sure you''ll love it."


    He closed the book she had brought for him and ced it on the bedside cab. Ava pulled the tray


    and ced the food on it so he would eat. He had made it very clear to her that he was in good shape.


    The IV was gone and now, he was only resting. Marcus knew it probably shocked the doctors how well


    and how quickly he had been able to heal of an injury of that degree. Not that he''d ever tell what he


    was. It was better to keep them guessing.


    "So when will I be getting out of here?" he asked her


    "The doctors say they just need to put you under observation. Besides, you''re still a threat if you''ve


    forgotten and no one wants you prancing around, especially since they don''t know who you are."


    "I thought your mate would have cleared up all of this by now. I''d like to start your training as soon as


    possible."


    Ava hummed as a response, sitting down on the chair beside his bed. Marcus was now sure that she


    was spacing out because of her mate. He had deliberately mentioned him just to see how she would


    react and if the slight grimace she made when he mentioned him was any indication, that meant that


    something had definitely happened between them.


    "Does he treat you well?" Marcus asked


    "What?" Ava responded, not paying attention


    "Does your mate treat you well?"


    "Well, he tries his best. Too touchy and possessive if you ask me."


    Marcus chuckled. Ava''s character and that of Xander''s were bound to sh all the time, which did


    nothing but amuse him.


    "I can whack his head if you''d like."


    "And risk having you get kicked out? No, thank you."


    "He''s aware that will upset you so he wouldn''t even think of getting rid of me."


    "How wonderful that I''ve be your immunity card." He grinned at her then began to eat the food


    slowly. The symphony of vours was a blessing to his tongue and he hummed in satisfaction "I want


    you to talk to him."


    "About what exactly?"


    "I''m sort of a liability to everyone around me, especially this pack. I don''t think it''s alright to keep the


    information you know between us alone. He''s been dealing with cases that revolve around me too."


    "You trust him." He didn''t have to ask her. He could tell from the way she spoke that she trusted Xander


    more than she thought she did. "Are you sure about this?"


    "Too many people have died for me to not be sure. We could all have a meeting when you''re


    discharged. I''ll speak to him about it beforehand."


    "A meeting?" he thought about it for a moment and then nodded, "As long as that''s what you want. It''s


    better this way."


    Neither of them said anything more. Marcus knew there wasn''t really anything he could do to help her.


    He could only hope when the time came, she wouldn''t regret her final decision.


    Then again, regret was already deeply rooted in her life. She just didn''t know it yet.