Chapter 18


    -Dorothy-


    After a tap on the shoulder to snap him out of his confusion, Ignatius put me down and let me approach


    Johan slowly. He continued to stare at me nkly as I took his hand. and led him up the porch steps


    and into the vi.


    Ignatius followed after us and busied himself with getting a me started in the firece tobat the


    cold that was creeping in under the door. I led Johan to a chair and let him sit down. Casting a worrying


    nce over at Ignatius and him shrugging sadly in return, I announced that I was going to make us all


    tea, and then we could talk.


    Johan gazed at me as Ignatius strode over in between grabbing firewood, and ced his heavy


    weatherbeaten jacket over my shoulder, checking my fingers to ensure they hadn’t been taken by the


    cold. I could tell that this small act of affection wasn’t lost on Johan and I watched sudden


    understanding bloom in his eyes as he stared at us.


    I headed to the kitchen to make tea while Ignatius ced himself on a stool in front of Johan.


    There was nothing but care and sympathy for his friend in his eyes. But in Johan’s, I saw a sudden


    burning resentment. Something that I was beginning to realize had been building for years long before I


    had stepped into the picture.


    –


    –


    In the kitchen, I set the kettle to boil. I danced a little jive around the tiny space as I tried to warm up


    and inject some life back into my frozen limbs. Ignatius’s stiff blue jacket was rife with his scent and I


    pulled it tightly around me, huffing into my hands to warm them up.


    My mind raced at Johan’s words. Mavis had found her mate. After everything she had done to hurt me,


    to push Johan to do the unthinkable, she had found someone else. My heart broke for Johan.


    I was furious with Mavis. As much as I understood the pull of one’s true mate, I hated her for this. As


    much as I wanted to believe that deep down Mavis was a good person, I was disgusted by her actions.


    And Johan… What now?


    The kettle was almost ready and I had just managed to move my fingers properly again when a


    The stool falling over I assumed was what I had heard from the kitchen. In the living room, I found it


    toppled to the floor and Ignatius pinning Johan to the wall by the throat.


    “Hey! What’s going on?” I squeaked in rm. “Ignatius let him go!”


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    Ignatius looked like he was going to ignore me and bared his sharpened teeth at Johan. But just as


    quickly he let go of him and stepped back. Johan didn’t seem like he wanted. to fight this time and


    merely stood there, looking from me to Ignatius and back again.


    There was a coldness in his expression that I had never seen before. Not icy like Ignatius, but rather


    nk, like this figure before me was nothing but a hollow shell that had arrived without its owner.


    “He’s not here forfort,” Ignatius growled, his dark eyes boring into Johan so intensely that I


    imagined he would burst into mes. “He wants you back.”


    I didn’t understand him at first. It took a second for his words to sink in and I slowly turned to look at


    Johan. “What?”


    The kettle in the kitchen began to whistle. The sound built into a high-pitched scream. that pierced my


    ears and mirrored the sudden tension in the room. It was a warning siren, a bad omen, It made my skin


    crawl.


    “Ignatius,” I said, keeping my voice low and t. “Could you take care of that? Johan and I need to have


    a talk.”


    I was afraid to be left alone in the room with this phantom version of my once true mate. I had never


    once thought I would be wary of Johan. I had never before seen those gentle eyes so empty and cold.


    But this was a situation that only I could defuse and so, I swallowed my fear.


    I could tell Ignatius was hesitant to leave my side. He too could see the strange change. that had


    ovee his friend. This was not the Johan we knew and loved. This was someone else entirely. A


    broken man. A clockwork toy run to the ground.


    I touched Ignatius’s shoulder. “Please. I’ll be fine.”


    He looked down at me in concern. His voice was suddenly in my head, clear as day although his lips


    didn’t move. “I’ll be right there in the other room. Don’t let him near


    you.”


    “He won’t hurt me,” I answered through our mind-link. Although I wasn’t so sure of my own words. “I


    think he’s in shock. He’s probably just really lost right now.”


    “People are capable of terrible things when ovee with grief. Be careful. I’ll be listening.”


    That was all Ignatius said men tally as he walked past me and into the kitchen, brushing his hand on


    my shoulder as he did so.


    I inhaled quietly and looked at Johan. His eyes were fixed on Ignatius’s back as he left, shooting


    daggers that made me want to throw myself at Ignatius to protect him from


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    the evil thoughts hurled at him from behind.


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    “Johan,” I said gently and took an instinctual step backward as his gaze shot to me. “Johan, what did


    Ignatius mean?”


    In the kitchen, Ignatius had taken the kettle off of the stove and the pots wailing died. down. Johan


    didn’t answer me, but I watched countless emotions run through his mind as he looked at me.


    “Do you want to sit down?” I asked, and picked up the stool that had fallen to the floor. I sat down in the


    hope that Johan would do the same do anything but stand there like a zombie. An empty vessel with


    the lethal strength of a wolf. Thankfully, he followed suit. and sat down across from me.


    Being closer to me seemed to do him some good and I watched a hint of life return to his eyes as he


    inhaled my scent. I didn’t know how to act around him. After everything. the ecstatic joy of speaking to


    him on the morning of my birthday. The crushing weight of his rejection. The tears and torment in


    between.


    Now that the bond was broken, Johan felt like a stranger to me, and theforting scent of pine was


    being slowly reced by an unmistakable hint of sea air. Finally, Johan spoke, and his voice was as


    hollow as his eyes had looked a moment ago.


    “After I after we severed the bond, I went out into the woods for a while. Then I went to find Mavis. I


    promised her that I would do it – and I did.”


    I watched in relief as his face softened, breaking the cold mask that he had ced there as his face


    contorted in grief. “Mavis was at home but she wasn’t alone. I hadn’t noticed his car in the driveway but


    he was there. He stepped out when Mavis let me in.”


    I ced a hand on Johan’s knee when I saw it begin to shake. The action was awkward and felt odd to


    me now but it clearly soothed Johan slightly.


    “Who was there?” I asked.


    “Him,” Johan said through gritted teeth. “to. Her mate. She told me he had stopped by to talk. She


    told me not to make a fuss. That she needed time to think things over.”


    Johan had balled his hands into quaking fists as he spoke. “But I saw it, the way she touched him. I


    smelled their scent all over each other. She had already made her choice.”


    “Johan…” I didn’t have the words tofort him. It seemed I was continuously useless. atbating


    the sadness and trauma that gued those around me.


    “I gave her everything.” Johan hissed, “I did everything she asked. I gave up on you.”


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    He looked straight at me as he said this like it was a new revtion that had just dawned on him.


    “I rejected my true mate for her. For a girl who has controlled me my whole life. For a girl who has


    never known how to love me back.”


    “That’s not true,” I tried to say. “Mavis does love you.” My lie was a feeble one and fell on deaf ears.Content held by N?velDrama.Org.


    Johan grabbed both my hands in carnest.


    “Dorothy. I should never have rejected you. I knew it was wrong. I thought it would get casier but it’s


    not. It never will be I need you. Please, Dorothy.”


    Tears pric ked my eyes at his next words words that hade just a little toote. “Please take me


    back. Dorothy. I want you. I always have.”


    I heard Ignatius stir from his ce in the kitchen.


    “No,” I told him through the mind-link. “I can handle this. If you interject now he’ll only take it out on


    you.”


    Ignatius growled in response but stayed where he was. I gently pulled my hand from Johan and wiped


    my eyes. I stared up at the ceiling, banishing my tears back inside my skull. I had done enough crying


    the past two days. I owed none of them any more of my tears.


    “Johan,” I said as I brought my gaze to his with newly dried eyes. “You know I can’t do


    that.”


    His earnest, hopeful expression remained frozen on his face as I continued, “I love you, Johan. I think I


    always will. But I don’t want to be your mate.”


    My words were the truth. I still felt shattered at the broken bond. I still felt the pull towards him. But


    looking at Johan with clear eyes, eyes that were not clouded by my own need for love and validation, I


    understood that I did not want to be with Johan.


    I looked him in the eyes as I spoke. “I don’t want you, Johan. I’m sorry that you’ve been dealt this hand.


    You have my love forever. But you don’t have my heart.”


    He had the loveliest eyes I had ever seen, but my heart had fallen for an icy blue pair that could stare


    into my soul like no one else could.


    After a moment, as my words made it to Johan’s ears, his expression twisted. I watched his childlike


    face cra ck and crumble as his final thread of hope was dashed to pieces. I realized that just like me,


    Johan craved something that almost no one could give him To be wanted. To be loved entirely as he


    was. To be understood.


    The edge in his voice sent the hair on my neck up and goosebumps broke out on my


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    skin even though the fire had done a good job of warming me up by then.


    “It’s because of him, isn’t it? It’s because of Ignatius.”


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    There was a stone in my throat. I stared at him mutely. He was wrong. It was so much more than that.


    It was my own self-worth, my dignity, and an understanding of myself that I had only found after losing


    him. But then again, he wasn’t ‘entirely’ wrong.


    “It’s not like that,” I said cautiously, suddenly fearing for Ignatius’s safety and ming myself for guiding


    this person through the front door. “Johan, I think you need to leave.”


    Johan ignored me, holding me in ce with the intensity of his gaze barreling down on me. “You love


    him, don’t you? We parted only a day ago and you’re already falling for someone else.”


    “No, I-“He wouldn’t let me speak. “Not just anyone else. My best friend.” His voice rose as he spoke


    over me and I felt Ignatius rearing to go..


    “Wait,” I pleaded silently with Ignatius. “Not yet.”


    Johan stood up abruptly, knocking his chair down and towering over me. “You’re just like her. You’re all


    the same!”


    He was shouting by then and his teeth were looking a little sharper than before..


    “Just listen to me, please Johan.” I stood slowly, raising my hands to show I meant peace. “Just calm


    down.”


    Johan looked anything but calm as he extended his ws.


    “I can’t believe I thought you were different. I thought you were the one. How did I let myself fall for yet


    another average sl ut?”


    That was the final straw for Ignatius. He kicked open the door to the kitchen at exactly the same time


    that Mavis burst in through the front door with whom I assumed was to in tow.


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