89- Guilt and ss


    “I- It was what the other Alphas said at the end of the meeting, saying you need your mate. I can mostly


    ignore them when they’re being jerks. But Alpha Kohen is nice, and he was. actually being kind. It just


    left me feeling really guilty.” I confess. Bemy takes both of my


    hands in his.


    “Hey, look at me.” I meet his gaze. His golden eyes are gentle.


    “It’s really okay. I know you’re stressed by it, but you shouldn’t feel guilty. I’m the one who is asking a lot


    of you in expecting you to take on extra duties as my mate one day. The very least I can do is give you


    time to be ready for it. The other Alphas have been saying stuff like that pretty much since I stepped


    up. It doesn’t bother me and I don’t want it to bother you either. My situation with the Alphas hasn’t


    changed, you’re not making anything more difficult for me, and when you are ready, you’re only going


    to make things easier. Besides, you might not be aware of it but you have already started stepping into


    the role in small ways, I think that when you are ready, it won’t feel as unnatural for you as you expect.”


    He strokes


    small circles on the backs of my hands.


    “Now, are we okay? Is there anything else that’s bothering you?” He asks. I nod and then shake my


    head as I think about what he’s said. I suppose his situation with the Alphas hasn’t actually changed,


    and theirments are fairly harmless. Maybe I should ask Bemy or Megan toe up with a list of


    things I would be expected to do as Bemy’s mate? It might make it easier to consider if I know more


    about what to expect.


    “I think it’s okay now. I was just feeling bad. And I really was nning to call you when I woke up. I


    don’t even know what time it is right now!” I answer. Bemyughs as he gets to his feet then


    copses into the couch next to me. He swings an arm up over my shoulders and crushes me into his


    side in a hug.


    “It’s a bit after five. If you went to sleep as soon as you got home, you probably napped for about four


    hours.” He nces at his phone.


    “Are you hungry? We could order something?” He offers. I nod.


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    “That sounds nice. Want to watch a movie or something too? I really did PLAN to spend the afternoon


    with you. I’m sorry my freak out ruined your ns.” Bemy boops me on the nose


    1/3


    89. Guilt and ss


    with one finger.


    “Stop apologising, I already told you it’s okay. Now, what do you feel like eating?”


    Bemy and I order a pizza to split and it arrives so fast that we haven’t even managed to pick a movie


    yet. Eventually we settle on an action movie and I turn off the lights in the living area. We eat in the light


    of the TV with the pizza box on Bemy’sp so we can both reach. When we finish eating Bemy


    tosses the empty pizza box (okay so he ate most of it…) down onto the floor out of the way and he


    pulls me over into hisp a wraps his arms around me. I rx into his embrace as we finish the end of


    the movie. As the credits roll Bemy starts running his lips from my jaw, down my neck and back


    again. Over and over, making me shiver. The TV is ying teaser trailers for other movies, but I have


    no idea what as Bemy turns me around and kisses me deeply. I sink into the kiss and kiss him back


    eagerly. His hands twist into my hair and mine end up on his shoulders. He trails one hand down my


    back, stroking my waist and side as he goes. Suddenly his hand dips down to my ass and I can’t help


    but freeze up again and without thinking, I push against Bemy’s chest. Bemy stops and removes


    his hand. We both stare at each other for a moment, breathless. Then Bemy releases me and


    copses back into the couch, his eyes closed and head tilted back. His breathing is still uneven and


    he groans.


    “1- I” I stammer out. Without opening his eyes Bemy waves a dismissive hand in my


    direction.


    “You don’t need to exin. It’s okay. I just need a minute.” We sit in silence for a minute


    until we both have normal breathing again. I anxiously wring my hands together. Bemy finally opens


    his eyes and when he looks at me they are molten gold emphasising his dark pupils. He sighs again..


    “I was going to ask if I could stay, but now I’m thinking it might be tempting fate a little bit. I think I might


    head home for yet another cold shower.” He winks at me and I shrink back into


    the couch. He leans in and kisses me on the forehead.


    “Come now, none of that.” he grumbles. He gets to his feet and heads towards the door. His hand is on


    the door handle when I manage to find my voice.


    “Are you


    you mad at me?” I blurt out. Bemy whirls around in a single movement and makes eye


    contact with me.


    2/3


    ss


    “I’ll say it as many times as I need to, when ites to this, I’ll never be mad at you. I’m just a little


    disappointed. Not with you, just in general. I’ve told you I’m happy to wait and I am. But I won’t deny


    that I want you. I’m leaving now because I respect your boundaries, not because I’m upset.” He says


    firmly. With that said, he heads out the front door without another word, closing it behind him. I get up,


    lock it and set the security system again. I know I shouldn’t be tired after taking such a lot nap today,


    but somehow exhaustion still sinks in and I quickly change into pyjamas, shivering as I change then


    crawl into bed under my nkets. I toss and turn for a little while, but it doesn’t take long for my eyes to


    close and my breathing to even out. Before I know it, I fall asleep.


    I wake to a loud crashing sound and pain in my right arm. It’s dark and I blindly grab at my arm and my


    handes away wet. rmed, I reach around blindly for mymp, rolling in my bed I can feel


    something sharp stabbing at me and I flinch away from it. I manage to turn on mymp and I stare in


    horror. My bedroom window is smashed to pieces and there are shards of ss all through my bed. My


    arm is bleeding, presumably cut by the ss. What the hell is happening? I need to call Bemy. My


    phone is on the far side of my bedside table and I don’t want to roll around on ss trying to reach it. I


    look around and I can see that most of the ss is on my bed covers which is probably what saved me


    from further injury. My arms and head were the only parts of me exposed. I carefully grab the edge of


    the bed cover with my


    left hand and fold the closest corners into the middle of the bed, exposing my legs so that I can get up.


    I move to the edge of the bed and look down. There’s ss on the floor too. How did it even spread so


    far? I didn’t know a window HAD that much ss in it..


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