88- Naps and nerves
I release my breath as I realise he’s decided to let me direct the topic away from my own
issues.
“No, she basically ran up to her room as soon as we got back. She said she has homework but I
suspect that she just wanted some time to process things. I bet she will want to talk about it tomorrow,
or maybe eventer tonight.” I exin. He nods.
“Right, right. That makes sense. What… What are you going to tell her?” He questions
nervously.
“You mean am I going to tell her about your red thread? Well, honestly I’m not sure yet. It depends on
what she asks me. If she wants to know she will ask and I won’t lie to her. But I
doubt she will ask just yet. I will just be encouraging and when she’s ready I’m sure she will bring it up
on her own.”
“Yeah, okay. That’s fair. Good n, I think.” He pauses before continuing.
“Thanks for your help with this. And for being there today. I know it must have been awkward for you,
particrly once Alpha Kane left. I didn’t anticipate that.” he says apologetically. I
shrug.
“You couldn’t have nned for that. I am curious though, why did you choose to do that while we were
there? You’re alone with Megan all the time. Why choose a group outing to dere your intentions.
Was it impulsive or nned?” I ask, mostly to keep him talking so that the topic won’t swap to Bemy
and I. But I do actually want to know the answer.
“I nned to do it with you both around. Partially in case it upset her and she needed you tofort
her, or if she wanted me to leave then Bemy would be there to keep her safe. But also because you
two are the only people whose opinions she would worry about. So this way she is reassured that you
both approve. At least I know you approve of the rtionship. I’m not so sure about Alpha Kane, but he
didn’t say anything against it…” he trails off and I roll
my eyes.
“He approves of you. I’m sure of it. He’s just protective of his sister. He wouldn’t stay quiet if
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88- Naps and nerves.
he hated you. He learned that lesson the first time.” I consider his exnation for a minute in
silence.
“You really put a lot of thought into all of this didn’t you? It’s very sweet of you.” I tell him. He blushes
and keeps his eyes focused intently on the road.
“Thanks. And yes, I did. I’ve had a lot of time to contemte it.” He points out as he pulls up
at my home.
Darrien walks me up to my door and makes sure I’m safely inside before heading off. I use my phone
to set my security system and realise I have a message from Bemy. Scratch that, I have three
messages from him.
Bemy- Ryann is everything okay? You left in a rush.
Bemy- Let me know when you get home, I’ll call you and we can talk.
Bemy- If it’s nothing that’s good. I’m just worried. You seemed off…
I read the messages a few times then sigh. I can’t bring myself to lie to him so instead I just don’t
answer. I kick my shoes off in the doorway messily, drop my phone on the table and head straight into
my room. I copse into my bed, fully clothed. It’s so quiet here. The more time I spend with Bemy
and Megan, the more I find that my home is disturbingly quiet. I guess I appreciate the background
noises and signs of life thate with being around other people. The sound of Bemy’s keyboard
clicking, or Megan dragging her feet as she shuffles around in slippers. How they will randomly bring
me a drink or snack every time they get up to get something for themselves, even the sounds of the
two of them bickering. It just makes
home seem empty somehow. I thoughting back here would help me feel better, but if anything, I
feel worse. The guilt is still here, the only difference is that now I’m alone. Maybe I should have stayed
and talked to Bemy about it. But I already know what he’s going to say, that he doesn’t mind and not
to feel rushed and h h. I know he means it too which honestly makes it feel worse. I find myself
starting to doze off. I think a nap might help. I can deal with everything when I wake up. Right now, I
just want to take a break.
my
I peel open my eyes in confusion. What time is it? And what woke me up? A loud banging at my door
answers the second question at least. I sit up and rub the sleep out of my eyes. What is it about a nap
that makes time feel so unreal? I feel like it’s either been five minutes or five.
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hours and I’m not sure it makes a difference which. The knocking at my front door continues and
pushes me into action. I climb out of bed, catching my foot in a nket and tripping as I go. I nce out
the little window by my door and see it’s Bemy. I immediately answer the door. He bursts in and
sweeps me up into his arms. I can feel his heart beating frantically and he is incredibly tense.
“Bemy? What’s wrong?” I ask, rmed. He releases me and steps back. I close the front door. He
res at me.
“What’s wrong?! I’ve been worried sick. You ran out on me earlier with no good exnation, then didn’t
answer your phone. You missed yourst check in and I have called you five times and you haven’t
responded! I thought something might have happened to you!” He half yells the words and begins
pacing my small kitchen. I stay where I am.
“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to miss the check in. I fell asleep and left my phone in here, and it must be
on silent still. I didn’t even hear you calling.” I admit. Bemy sighs but finally
stops pacing.
“Okay, I suppose it’s understandable if you fell asleep. I know I’m overreacting. I just worked
myself up. You were acting weird when you left and I haven’t been able to stop thinking
about it.” He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest, waiting for an
exnation.
“It’s really nothing…” I start. Bemy immediately shakes his head.
“You ran away again. You said you would try your best not to do that.” he points out and I cringe. He
isn’t wrong. Now I feel even worse than I did before. It turns out that avoiding things and not talking
about them might actually be more painful than talking it out. I sigh
deeply.
“I know. You’re right and I’m sorry. I didn’t even realise that I was running away until I was already
home. You’re right, I was upset.” I admit. Bemy rxes his posture a little and steps closer to me. He
takes me by the hand and leads me to sit on the couch then kneels on
the floor in front of me.
“Tell me what upset you.” He insists, a gentle but firm demand.