Chapter 374


    I might be shameless to have such thoughts, but I had no regrets.


    Felix’s surgery was over. Everything remained the same, except that he had suffered once more. His


    mood was far lower than before.


    I was the one who gave him hope, then shattered it. It was cruel for him to get such an ending.


    How could I tell him that I still wanted to be with Colin?


    I wasn’t afraid of hardship. I could even give Felix money. I just worried that I would never be able to be


    with Colin again.


    My grief grew stronger.


    Colin knew me best. Every night, he would hold me and tell me not to worry. We weren’t at the end of


    the road yet. He’d find another way.


    George was a world–renowned expert in brain surgery. I wondered where we should put our hope if


    even he couldn’t solve the problem.


    When I couldn’t sleep, I deeply regretted my actions and hated myself.


    I thought I was right, but my self–righteousness messed everything up. I was such a useless


    person.


    Felix was discharged. He didn’t speak all the time. He only seemed alive when I was present.


    When I saw him lying still on the bed, like a puppet, I felt like I hadmitted a horrific crime.


    The college project had entered an intense stage. Colin was incredibly busy and had to work overtime


    at night. He also had to take care of Felix and take me back to the apartment. As he had his hands full,


    his overall condition was deteriorating, and he looked terrible.


    We knew why the other was upset, but we persisted and refused to say anything. We assumed that our


    previous promise was still valid and we still had a chance.


    I gave the draft to Professor King, but he rejected it. He said my paintings were too depressing and


    dark and didn’t meet the requirements.


    He advised me not to stay in for too long but to go on walks more regrly. I needed to soak up the


    sun, see some flowers, and watch the birds in the sky.


    I obediently followed his advice. However, aside from my physical fatigue, my mood was as gloomy as


    ever. I couldn’t feel the fragrance of the flowers or the sun’s warmth..


    +15 BONUS


    I might be sick and need to see a doctor. However, Colin was already tired. I didn’t want to burden him.


    Felix still needed Colin’s care. So, I forgot about it, figuring I’d get over it eventually.


    N?velDrama.Org content rights.


    I went to Colin at noon one day and noticed him instructing the workers to install guardrails. I asked him


    why he did so. He whispered that Felix was beginning to have suicidal thoughts.


    He had received a phone call while helping Felix to the bathroom. Then, Felix had identally lost his


    bnce and tucked his hand into the toilet pit.


    The toilet was newly painted and clean, yet it aggravated Felix, who was emotionally sensitive. He


    scrubbed his hands repeatedly, asking Colin to get him steel wool and alcohol. He kept mumbling


    about how dirty his hands were.


    Colin was restless on his way to work and turned back halfway. As a result, he saw Felix in the kitchen,


    groping around. The back of his hand was bleeding from an unknown cause, yet it was ignored.


    “What is he looking for?” I had a vague suspicion but didn’t dare to say it aloud.


    Colin lowered his head and raked his hair irritably. “I guess he’s looking for a knife.”


    A buzzing sound rang through my head. I swayed and nearly fell.


    I knew it!