Chapter 125


    Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision as my hand starts to tremble around the can I am still holding;


    instantly blown away by something so basic. I mentally shake it off as I check myself, pulling my shit


    together; breathe out the overwhelming wave of emotions and lean down slowly to tip out the contents


    into his bowl. Iy the can on the ground, still bent over and tentatively reach for the cats back, pausing


    with nerves cascading out of every pore—Tense and hopeful.


    He makes another sweep against me, even though his food is there, and gently I run my fingers along


    his spine feeling his soft fur and surprisingly warm body heat whichpletely soothes my soul. The


    cat butts his head up to meet my palm and for a second of sheer joy lets my rub his head properly.


    It’s short-lived—as soon as he sees the food is out he darts off, tail in the air and the moment is gone,


    but it was a moment of utterpletion for me and my chest and stomach are brimming with weird


    vibrations.


    Weeks of trying to tame this infernal beast and he rewards me with a second of utter bliss. I got to


    touch him. He trusts me. He likes me. He might even really love me in some weird cat way. I’m worth


    something to someone on a genuine level.


    I could sob right now and turn to Alexi as I straighten up with a warm tear rolling down my cheek; A


    happy goofy smile on my face.


    ‘Did you see that?’ I ask him meekly, ovee with breathlessness and Alexi just frowns at me.


    ‘You know that thing waits for me every day and aims those little fucking ws of his at my legs on a


    daily. I’m not the best person to praise you on his obvious devotion, seeing as I would love to run over


    the little shit’s head in a heartbeat.’ He points out dryly, still leaning over his open car door as he


    watches me and I just eyeroll and wipe my face. Killing the moment for me and I shake my head that I


    would expect him to understand.


    ‘You really know how to ruin a good thing, don’t you?’ I sigh and the weird flicker of expression that


    crosses his face apanied by …


    ‘Yeah … tell me about it,’ in a sombre tone, seems out of ce and weirdly unconnected to our


    conversation. He looks away across the car park as though distracted and sighs heavily too. The


    atmosphere takes a distinct turn as I return to gazing adorably at my ugly little pet; Pride filling me up in


    every tiny space inside of me.


    ‘Are youing or not?’ Alexi bursts into my thoughts and I look down onest time at Feral eating


    away contentedly, oblivious to me now, and scoop to lift the can to deposit in the bin by Alexi’s car.


    ‘Are you going to y nice and be a gentleman if I do?’ I ask brazenly, thest ounces of my moment


    fading away quickly and lift my eyes to his inbat, not in the mood for any Alexi prickness today. I’m


    high on life and just had one of the best moments ever. I won’t let him burst that little joyful bubble.


    ‘Yes, ma’am. On my best behaviour. Scouts honour.’ He nods cheekily, a mock salute I assume from


    the boy scouts and I sigh heavily. I doubt he actually means it, and yet, I am in the mood for getting out


    and seeing something new. The club is my happy ce but it doesn’t mean I don’t get bored seeing the


    same four walls every day.


    Property of N?)(velDr(a)ma.Org.


    ‘I have to be back here before six … I have stuff to do.’ I point out, not sure why I am even


    contemting this little trip but I guess curiosity is getting the better of me. Another club he owns


    sounds like something worthy of checking out. I have always been intrigued by what else he does with


    his life outside of this ce.


    ‘I swear we shall be back before then. It’s a quick visit, not an all-day thing.’ He’s still focused on me as


    I walk towards him and then gesture to the club behind me with my hand.


    ‘I better tell Jackson in case he thinks he’s lost me and has a meltdown. He’s very protective, you


    know.’ I nod in the general direction but Alexi shakes his head.


    ‘I can do it.’ Alexi motions to his earpiece, presses his finger to it. Of course, I remember the little


    security gadgets again. They seem to wear them all the time and Alexi is no exception. I know they


    have a distance limit but anyone within a few hundred feet of one other is still in range, so I assume he


    uses them wherever he goes to stay linked to his men all over the city. He has to have men dotted


    every few hundred feet for sure, so probably always has some sort of contact with someone like a


    game of Chinese whispers.


    He tells Jackson he is taking me with him, and then leaves his door open to walk around and get the


    other side ready for me to get in. He leans in, throwing his jacket into the back seat, brushes off the


    passenger side then steps out of my way as he lets me move in and slide into his car; Towering over


    me closely as I push past and try to ignore the butterflies erupting deep in my stomach when we touch


    briefly.


    I’m getting used to them now and just ignore the infernal sensations as another downside to life around


    him.


    I have never actually been alone with Alexi in a car that he is driving. We only ever went in the back,


    chauffeured by Mico or one of his drivers, so this feels strangely intimate as he closes my door for me


    and moves fast to get in the other side.


    What I would have given to be alone in this way before … when I was stupidly enamoured with him and


    craving his attention. It’s weird that now I no longer want it he seems to offer it freely and it’s ironic. The


    less I chase him the more he seems to want me in his life—it’s not lost on me and I wonder if that’s


    what this is. I stopped giving and he starteding after me.


    Isn’t that what he said he liked? Women who are not easy to catch?


    I don’t want to think about it, it’s just another head mess waiting to happen, and I slide on my seat belt


    as I put it out of my head.


    ''What exactly is this sporty little number anyway? It''s very you.'' I eye up the sleek and dark interior of


    his car, all gadgets and high tech and screams of expensive man toy.


    ''A Bugatti Chiron Sport! Custom painted to my specs.'' He beams proudly, grinning my way like the cat


    who got the cream, shades pushed up again and obviously enamoured with his car as he buckles up


    and adjusts his seating position to getfy.


    ''Let me guess … is it Italian made?'' I eyeroll for effect, knowing full well he has a serious thing about


    his roots.


    ''All the best thingse in Italian packaging, Bambino.'' He winks smugly, and it has the opposite effect


    of being charmed. I pull a cringing face and gawp at him.


    ''Ew, please don''t ever use that term again, so cringe Alexi. I think I just vomited in my mouth.'' I


    mock push my finger in my throat to simte an up-chuck response, and he justughs, shaking his


    head as he presses his palm to the back of my headrest, so he can push himself around to check


    behind us before he reverses.


    ‘Don’t let my cousin hear you say that … It’s his tried and tested means of pulling thedies; He got a


    wife out of it.’ He throws me a knowing look, smiling at my head shake and then smoothly pulls his car


    out of the space, gentle on the gas. I slide down to rx a little, feeling confident that he’s not a stupid


    boy racer, and I am perfectly safe with him.


    Fast cars have always made me nervous and I don’t doubt he has his moments where this car is


    pulverised for the fun of it, but he seems sensible enough not to drive that way now.


    ‘We could go eat after … I know a little ce that you might like.’ He smiles my way, head on another


    topic, as is his way. For a moment it’s like being in thepany of Gino and I look away perplexed. Too


    smiley, tooid back and amodating. Not Alexi at all. He’s in a good mood for sure, but whenever


    he gets a little too easypanion, I get scared.


    ‘I thought this was a business trip … now lunch too?’ I ask unsurely and focus on anything but him as


    he expertly gets us out into traffic without killing Feral. I watch for a second, poised and nervous as we


    leave through the gate and watch my little furball lift his head from his bowl and watch us go without a


    hint of reaction. Straining up to peer over the bo and then through Alexi’s window as we pass. The


    cat has really begun to grow in confidence and Alexi frowns at him and then at me and my overly


    concerned face.


    ‘It’s eating, nowhere near my wheels, so rx … And it’s something we both need to do so it’s easier to


    get food on the way back than having something hereter. Do you good to get out more.’ Alexi’s tone


    drops, a little bossier,manding, and I rx with the appearance of it. Used to this persona.


    ‘It’s not a date?’ I ask haughtily and Alexi throws me a frustrated nce before focusing back on the


    road.


    ‘God forbid you should go on one of those with me, right?’ He sounds mildly sarcastic and I just shrug


    at him.


    ‘You said it, not me.’ I point out and rx back as he rather confidently manoeuvres his roaring beast of


    a car along the road into mainstream traffic and gets us going quickly.


    I like his car, it suits him.


    Dark, purring and powerful, with a lot of vroom under the bo. It’s sexy in a shy sporty way and


    completely pantybusting when that roar vibrates from even the smallest amount of eleration. I


    have never really been a girl who gets wet over machines like this, but with him behind the wheel, I can


    see the merits.


    ‘Would it be so bad to give me another chance? Wipe the te clean?’ Alexi throws me a cautious


    look; I can’t tell if it’s genuine or if he’s taking the piss and I automaticallyugh.


    ‘Once bitten, twice shy … I don’t do second chances.’ I point out, mping down on whatever this is


    and ignore the way his eyes stay on my face, intensely, for a moment. It’s making me uneasy and


    already I regreting; Anxiety starting to build deep down and that heavy foreboding gnawing away


    inside.


    I am not ying his games. I am not letting him pull me back into whatever this is. He’s obviously bored


    and has his eye on a rematch with me. I should have known an invite would be loaded.


    Over my dead body.


    ‘Yet, you’re here with me … so I guess somewhere under all that fiery rage, you must have forgiven me


    a little bit.’ Alexi doesn’t sound smug or even amused, but there is something in the tone which doesn’t


    sit with me. A probing niceness that is definitely not real.


    ‘Why are we talking about this? I thought we were all business here?’ I point out and he frowns this


    time.


    ‘All business, yet we buy each other gifts?’ He nods at my wrist and I actually regret wearing it now if


    he is going to read into it or use it as emotional leverage. I pull my hand into myp and re at him


    this time.


    ‘Okay … Spit it out, because I know it has an angle, as does this car ride and this topic of convo. What


    devious shit head ns do you have for me huh? Is this part of your ‘swoon her and strangle her’


    routine again? Bored that we are too docile and nothing majorly emotionally traumatic is happening?’ I


    turn on him and raise my eyebrowsbatively, not going to sit here and let him start all this shit with


    me again. Alexi just frowns and looks away, body sagging slightly.


    ‘Forget it … I’m just trying to find some middle ground with us, Cam. I know why you feel the way you


    do about me.’ He hits sulky face and low tone and it just irritates me hellishly.


    ‘Well, you can drop it. I came back to run the club, nothing else. I would appreciate it if you just kept


    this as it is—business only! We work better when it’s kept that way.’ I point out bitterly and try to


    unstiffen myself in the seat to rx, but he has me all wound up and anxious.


    ‘Yeah … Business.’ He mutters it under his breath and this time doesn’t look at me, sullen suddenly


    and just focuses on driving instead. Despite the fact he’s the one who riled me, it makes me feel guilty,


    which then makes me feel pissed at him for evoking that emotion; Always screwing with my feelings in


    some annoying way. I shake my head and it’s out before I can stop it.


    ‘Look … I know I should be thankful that you dide back for me when you did. My life wasn’t going


    too well, and it’s not that I am not grateful, Alexi, it’s just …’ I trail off; losing my nerve and stopping


    short of saying ‘You broke my heart irreversibly.’ Because that’s what he did, on top of all the rest of the


    horrible crap he put me through. He destroyed me, he ruined me, he left me deste and the first


    month of life without him was like living in a state of emptiness. I can never let that happen to me again.


    ‘I hurt you. I get it … I know.’ He finishes it for me and I tense and look out of the window, tears


    brimming like pools on my lowershes, trying so hard not to let this conversation affect me.


    At least he acknowledges what he did wrong—I guess that’s a step forward from how he used to be


    with me.


    Neither of us says anything more, a heavy silence in the air that taints the whole atmosphere, and I’m


    drawn to the fact he seems as stiff and tense as me. Silence deafening because of how much tension


    is swirling between us, and I can’t stand it.


    ‘Thank you for my bracelet anyway.’ I breathe out after it finally gets too much for me and touch it


    gently, almost automatically. I do love it, more than I want him to know. No one ever just bought me a


    gift for the sake of it before, and even though I’m sure there’s got to be a reason for it, he still hasn’t


    made it clear or thrown one at me, so maybe it is what it is.


    Just a gift he thought I would like: For my birthday.


    ‘Thank you for my socks.’ Alexi breaks into a half smile and the weird static lifts a little. Air clearing and


    the lead on my chest subsides too. I hate it when we fight; he has the ability to make everything feel


    awful without trying to.


    Despite myself, I smile softly. Knowing they are on his feet and it is still pretty ridiculous to me. Killing


    the bad mood and lifting the fewst traces of bad feeling between us.


    ‘You’re so strange sometimes.’ I giggle involuntary and Alexi nces my way with another cute boy


    smile then an obvious sigh as his expression brightens up.


    ‘Says the British chick with the psychotic kitty cat as a pet.’ Alexi leans out and pushes me in the thigh


    with his palm childishly and I just p his hand back.


    ‘No touching!’ I jest at him, no conviction behind it, and more of a warm reminder as he lifts his hand


    over my thigh in mock threat.