Chapter 57


    I don’t know if this was all part of his punishment brewing from running away and this is maybe the


    bacsh. Romancing me in bed, only to make me feel like a meaningless whore by cutting all ties and


    leaving me out in the cold for weeks on end. I know he’s probably fulfilling his needs between someone


    else’s thighs. I try not to think about it, trying to convince myself that I didn’t imagine something else in


    him that night, but when facts are pping me in the face it’s hard to hope for anything.


    Only I would fall for the devil himself who makes me feelpletely worthless in every way.


    ‘‘Lex says you need to pack up, I am moving you.’’ Mico breaks into my listless daze as I sit on the


    couch, staring nkly at myptop. Some video droning on endlessly about some vague, obscure shit


    that I clicked on for something to watch. I have no idea what it’s about, and I am startled by his sudden


    appearance, but the real reactiones from his words. Heart elevating its beat instantly.


    ‘’Alexi is here?’’ My stomach does a little flutter, and despite myself, I get a high happy flip of insides


    that I might see him. I hate that in the past two weeks I have missed him, kept checking my phone and


    bringing up his name like a love-sick puppy and then felt like a pathetic idiot each time.


    I cannot control my internal reaction having first confirmation that he is actually in the building, where I


    am, close by, finally.


    ‘’Just do as you’re told.’’ Mico frowns, avoiding eye contact and then leaves me to it but I can’t just take


    that as an answer. If he’s here then I want to see him! I want him to face me and know why he has


    completely just iced me out after everything. I want to know first-hand if it was all a lie and I imagined


    the whole thing.


    I’ll know by his reaction to me, I will know by his eyes, his tiny tells and how he behaves when seeing


    me again. I need to know, it’s wing up inside me like a persistent ache.


    As soon as I know Mico is gone I run like the wind to my room filled with stubborn determination and


    throwing all sense out the freaking window. I pull on a dress and discard the sweatpants I had on, pull


    my hair out of its ponytail and make myself presentable in minimum time. I was always good at sh


    prepping to get ready in a hurry and do so with amazing skill.


    I’m not going to sit up here in the hope that hees up. I’m going downstairs to see him and finally


    dull down this gnawing ache of longing I have for him, pining away like some sad idiot.


    ***


    I walk out of the lift on the ground floor cautiously, looking around warily for signs of security doing their


    walkabout. Getting in and down here was almost like mission impossible when it stopped on the office


    floor and I had to hide against the wall so Mico didn’t see me. Damn lift and its need to open on every


    floor. I just thank my stars they never switch on the cameras in there.


    I could see that Alexi wasn’t in the office, the door wide open, and just ck shadows milling around as


    Mico barked orders about taking my cases and boxes to Chicago.


    Why the fuck is he sending me to Chicago? He’s not got a chance in hell of sending me so far away


    from him. I would rather die. I primp and preen myself as I walk down the corridor, my eyes everywhere


    as I go. Still, a hint of nerves ating down here, as it’s my first time on this floor since that night and


    there’s a sense of unease around the lifts. My stomach churning in knots as I move fast down the lobby


    to the main bar of the club, but my mind is on one goal, and I can almost feel him calling to me from


    somewhere in this building.


    I yearn to see him again. And then there he is, across the room instantly, with his side to me and every


    fibre of my being stops still and inhales fully. I wasn’t expecting him to just be there, so effortlessly easy


    to find, and it hurts my heart to look at him.


    Nothing prepared me for the sucker punch to the stomach that seeing him again could give me.


    Alexi is standing with Joanne and a few of his men in the middle of the floor and my heart literally stops


    beating as soon as I see him. Tall and gorgeous with that perfect bad boy face focused on a clipboard


    in his hand. Perfectly sculpted male, oozing testosterone and confidence, and he just looks like my idea


    of heaven.


    How Satan himself can make you feel this way about him is beyond me. I guess the devil is a charmer


    and uses his wiles to seduce more than his power to terrorise you. When he made me afraid, he


    couldn’t control me, so he made love to me instead, and now I’m powerless against him.


    He’s not in a suit for once. A leather jacket and jeans which look strange on him and his stubble is


    more prominent than normal. It’s like Alexi is having a casual day, weirdly, yet he looks sexier than ever


    and I halt when I get to about ten feet away.


    It’s almost like he senses me there and looks up and towards me with a slight head turn, eyes locking


    on me as soon as he realises what pulled his attention.


    Much to my heartbreak he just nks me and goes back to what he’s doing as though it was nothing


    more interesting to him than a passing bird. Disinterested, unemotional and doesn’t even scald me for


    being on the club floor. Nothing, not even an ounce of anger for my disobedience.


    I feel like he just ripped out every part of me inside, and yet like some deranged teenage girl I still walk


    towards him in a bid to get his attention. Craving him, longing for some sort of show that I mean


    something. All self-respect sliding away with thest ounces of my dignity, and yet I can’t stop my feet


    from taking me towards him. I know I’m being pathetic and breaking all the rules and codes of the boy-


    girl game but I need him to acknowledge me.


    He owes it to me after what we had, and I deserve to be treated like a human, someone with feelings


    and worth, not some sort of disposable object without any value in his eyes.


    ‘’Alexi?’’ I say it loud enough to catch his eye when I am practically at his group and they all stop talking


    and nce at me. Security don’t react, it’s only me after all, and go back to looking at what he is


    pointing out. Alexi ignores me and Joanne smirks at me with catty eyes and props a hand on her hip


    while eyeing me up with hostility and new-found confidence.


    She thinks my absence means she won my club, and him. She is standing close enough to him to


    make it obvious there is more going on there than an admirer and I just see red. Little tramp has been


    fucked by him more than once, I can tell. She has that smitten look of a woman who hasn’t been


    burned by him yet and has only sampled the charming side when he wants something from you—like


    your soul in a bottle, or your heart on a tter.


    ‘’Alexi? I need to talk to you right now!’’ I repeat, snapping at him with desperation, mixed with anger at


    how he is treating me. Stupidly vocal but it’s fuelled with despair and heartbreak and my better sense is


    not engaging in any way. His whole manner changes so subtly it’s almost missable, yet I see it.


    Slight furrow of anger on that brow, tightening of the jaw and his body stiffens. I just pissed him off.


    Alexi exhales slowly and steadily, lifts his head to his main goon and hands him the clipboard with a


    nod and thatplete air of control andck of care.


    ‘’Do it and let me know.’’ He waves him away, ease ofmand and even though all of the suits move


    Joanne stays rooted firmly to the spot like an unwanted bad smell as he finally brings his eyes back to


    me steadily and scowls. Everything inside of me just dies with that look and now I know for sure that it


    meant nothing and that I mean nothing to him.


    Thest flickering ounces of hope die a death and fall by the wayside as my heart plummets into


    darkness.


    It was sex, a manoeuvre to keep me quiet and now we’re back to how it’s always been. I’m a


    disobedient possession and he has no time to be dealing with my behaviour. He has a new toy and


    she’s clearly well trained. I’m just an annoyance in his day and the novelty he had over me has worn


    off. I am no value anymore.


    He has his club, he has someone to watch over it and keep the money rolling in and I have be


    excess to his needs. If anything I have be a liability to him, and my debt will probably never find a


    way to be paid off. If I had just been obedient and not fought him, not made everything harder and a


    challenge. Been a ‘’Yes Sir’’ then maybe I would be the possessive bitch standing next to him with a


    smug look and a sense of self-worth. Alexi has a type and it was never me.


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    ‘‘What do you want, Cam?’’ he walks towards me leaving skanky whore standing watching me, but


    there’s no amusement in his face, only cold indifference. Coming at me to cut down the need to talk


    loudly while ears and eyes are all around.


    ‘‘To know what’s happening … Why I haven’t heard from you in two weeks?’’ It chokes me, pain in my


    heart and throat as the words tumble out, and I am in fear of crying in front of him. I sound like a needy


    woman who doesn’t understand what a one-night stand is.


    ‘‘I’ve been busy, and I had no reason to see you.’’ It’s like his words are bullets and every single one is


    slowly killing me.


    ‘’Just like that … discarded, no longer of any use to you?’’ My voice breaks and I can see bitch smirking


    over in the background. I want to throw something at her but Alexi just brings my focus back to him with


    his voice.


    ‘’You’ve been reced. I have somewhere else I can use you. A ce I bought in Chicago, a regr


    club, not like this. It needs an assistant manager that can up the ss a little.’’ He doesn’t even look me


    in the eye as he says it, he just pulls out his phone and reads the screen before pressing something


    and putting it back inside his jacket. He doesn’t care about me. He never did.


    ‘‘So you’re sending me away? The further the better, didn’t I mean anything? Didn’t that night mean


    anything?’’ I can’t stop the tears breaking loose, despite trying hard to hide them and destroying my


    selfposure. I don’t care anymore if she can see he’s ripping me apart, she should know she has all


    this toe. He will chew her up and spit her out so effortlessly.


    ‘‘You’re embarrassing yourself, Cam. It was sex. You were emotional and irrational, and I took your


    mind off it. You were a liability and I couldn’t have you crying to the wrong person.’’ Alexi turns to walk


    away from me but I grab his arm and haul him back. That crazy anger spiking from emotional


    devastation that is coursing through me like a pulsing throb.


    ‘‘Why are you doing this? How can you say that? I was there, it wasn’t just sex.’’ The desperate wailing


    of a bruised heart. I am one of those pitiful, hysterical women clinging to a man who used her, hardly


    unique. My brain unable to really believe that what he did with me had no emotional effect on him in


    any way. I was cold and heartless and unable to love, yet hepletely changed all that. Surely that


    had to have done something to his dark soul somewhere in its depths. I had to leave some sort of


    impression in there.