Chapter 33


    Untrusting and poised to use my free hand against him if it’s a gamey. I have known so many forms


    of mental torture and this could be one of them. ‘’Consider this a warning.’’ He doesn’t sound as self-


    assured as he normally does and he can’t look me in the eye either. Avoiding my face altogether, even


    when he gets close enough to unbuckle my waist from therge belt around it. I don’t know what the


    hell is going on, but I hold my breath in the hope that he’s changed his mind and he’s letting me go.


    Afraid to take this at face value and keep holding still, willing for my heart to stop pounding through my


    chest.


    Alexi starts setting my ankles free before my other wrist and frees me faster than he strung me up.


    There’s nothing in his manner that suggests anything amiss, but I can feel it all around him. The weird


    vibe and thepleteck of hostility as though it’s evaporated.


    I slump down when I am finally free and end up in a heap on the floor, my body unable to hold my


    weight with the way I’vepletely lost the use of my limbs and turned into a shaking mess. Alexi


    doesn’t attempt to catch me either, not that I expected he would. Letting out a sob as I curl up into a


    defensive childish ball and turn my eyes to the ground inplete humility. Ashamed of myself and my


    lack of strength when faced with a simple punishment that other women would take in their stride.


    I’m pathetic and fragile when ites to this one thing and once again I showed him how effective it is.


    His feet turn at my eye level, and he starts to walk away after a moment, much to my relief. He leaves


    me here crying and shaking, unable to get up but it’s what I would rather have than be back on that


    cross.


    He gets a few steps and then stops. My heart stops too. I stop crying and hold still, afraid he maybe


    hasn’t finished with me yet, and recoil against the wooden stand when he walks back towards me,


    cowering under the shadow he casts and lift my hand defensively to my face. A pose of old, a pose of


    my childhood, no matter how hard you try to kill instinctual reactions, they stay with you for a lifetime


    ande out to just humiliate you further. I’m shielding myself for an inevitable beating, against all


    sense telling me that Alexi doesn’t hit women.


    Alexi leans down and scoops me up, shocking me, and yet I can’t physically react to him doing it. I just


    go limp and numb, trying to keep my body curled up tight as he bounces me up into his arms for a


    more secure hold, cradling me against him. I don’t know what to think and am too scared to try. He


    could just be moving me somewhere else to start again. I close up tight, and refuse to look up at him,


    keeping my chin tucked against my chest.


    He carries me across the room to the door. I don’t trust his intentions at all and I won’t let my guard


    down, even if this seems like he’s found an ounce of decency. He says nothing, doesn’t look at me, just


    walks us out of the room and into the bar which is still deste and then heads to the hall and the lift


    with me. I stay stiff, finding enough courage to lift my head and fix my eyes on his profile, in case it


    gives a hint of my fate toe, coiled like a snake waiting to strike. Except I am just waiting for an


    opening to jump down and run.


    I lift my arm to dry my face, but the tears are still falling, and when he puts me on my feet outside the lift


    door he lets me go, holding my arm for a moment until he sees I’m stable enough to stand and steps


    away as though sensing I need space and him not to touch me anymore. It’s the weirdest scenario


    ever, considering he’s the one who just traumatised me this way.


    ‘‘It’s not your first time being shackled is it?’’ He asks me as the doors slide open and I can see my


    safety retreat in sight as long as he stays out here. I turn slightly to look at him and see something


    completely new which knocks me off a little. Alexi looks pensive and thoughtful, yet there’s a look in his


    eye I cannot ce at all.


    I should tell him to go fuck himself, but the fear is inside of me that he will turn and drag my arse


    straight back to that room if I deny him anything he wants right now. I hesitate, swallowing hard and


    shake my head at him, trying hard topose myself while shaking like a leaf in a dazed state of


    surreal.


    I feel like I’m in a dream and emotionally exhausted. ‘‘No,’’ I admit emptily. I’m shell-shocked and


    metaphorically naked right now. I have no energy to lie when it’s obvious to him that my fear was not


    for the unknown. I’m giving him more ammunition, but I am beyond caring. I feel stripped and broken


    and just need the solitude of my room. If obediently answering him means he lets me go, then it’s what


    I will do to get away from him.


    ‘’It wasn’t consensual was it, or enjoyable?’’ Darkness falls over his face and I shake my head, seeing a


    brimming and brewing storm moving into the pale colour and darkening them too. I don’t know why that


    makes him mad, seeing as he had no intention of what he just did being fun or enjoyable. It was a


    punishment and non-consensual, but somehow, he always disregards his actions when he makes


    statements like this. One rule for him and one rule for the rest of mankind. He really does have a


    superiorityplex.


    ‘’What were you?’’ He asks such a simple question, yet the answer isplex. Alexi has had hints that


    I was a damaged girl but I have nevere out and told him about my life before America. All he


    knows is I was a girl who got creative in making money and sold other girls for sex, but I have never


    told him I was sold a million times before that. He doesn’t know about the before in great detail only


    hints of the truth. I am no fool and I assume he knows I have been a hooker at some point. I mean I did


    for a while even when I got here and needed to keep feeding myself.


    ‘‘A sad story of a girl who ran away for a better life.’’ I move into the lift and put distance between us,


    praying he stays out there and lets me find solitude alone upstairs. I don’t trust this ‘‘nicey, nicey’’ act


    and I’m waiting on him to snap and revert right back into cruel. I feel ravaged and emotional and I know


    that breaking down in front of him again just killed all my self-respect in one fell swoop. I feel deste.


    ‘‘And then you fell into myp.’’ He says sardonically as another sob escapes me, despite myself. Who


    knew those seven little honest words would be the start of a whole new kind of emotional pain?


    Copyright N?v/el/Dra/ma.Org.


    ‘‘Water finds its own level. I should ept my fate. You can’t rise above your station, no matter how


    hard you try, what ent you give yourself or how expensive your clothes may be.’’ It’s the most self-


    depreciating thing that hase out of my mouth in a long time, but he’s ruined my mental state and I


    can’t see beyond the misery right now. I started life as a worthlessmon shell being used by men,


    for men, and that’s exactly where I am now. I never climbed out of my dark hole; I just found myself


    much more dangerous captors.


    Alexi drops his chin and stares at the floor for a long moment, his hand still on the button holding the


    doors and I hold my breath, willing him to let it and me go. I need space to be alone, and I am so afraid


    of what he’s still capable of doing to me when I have no way of defending myself anymore.


    I’m a trembling shell of weakness and barely keeping myself up on my shoes. My whole life has been


    unravelling since the day I met him and I would be better off more than a hundred miles away from him.


    Finally, he brings his eyes back up to mine and looks at me without a word, that normalck of


    expression, although something hinting in the depths of those empty eyes. He says nothing more, just


    let’s go of the button. Letting the doors close slowly between us as it blocks him out of my sight and


    presence and releases me from his painful hold. Watching him as he disappears behind my own


    reflection in the chrome surface and I sag back to burst into a fresh wave of tears when I realise, I’m


    finally safe.