Chapter 95


    Wilma Munro is a shock to the system. She’s Scottish and her ent is thick, but notpletely alien,


    with hints of a long New York residency. I can understand her for the most part and she’s a resolute


    force to be reckoned with.


    Wilma is small with dark coppery curly hair and huge brown eyes set in a love heart face, standing at


    only four and a half feet tall. She catches me immediately in her whirlwind of enthusiastic energy. Loud,


    but not in amanding way, she is direct, yet friendly and slightly terrifying. She whisks me into my


    new domain, assigns me a desk near her office, and outlines my responsibilities as part of her team,


    thrusting a box of files at me. She believes throwing someone in at the deep end brings out their inner


    worth.


    “I’ve heard enough about you, Miss. Anderson, to know you were being wasted at Carrero Tower. I’ve


    great expectations of you.” She smiles warmly, soft eyes twinkling merrily as she fawns over the files.


    “Mr. Carrero seemed to imply I was only seconds away from dismissal,” I respond drily, instantly


    regretting letting my mouth jump in before my head. I look away nervously, my fingers finding my jacket


    to twist the hem, anxiously.


    Nice move just tell your new boss how useless you are.


    “I’m particrly good friends with Margo Drake, my dear. I spoke to her only this morning when I was


    informed you wereing to me. She only had good things to say about you … and maybe some


    insight on recent behaviors.”


    I spin to look at her, sudden shock on my face, blood draining away and leaving me cold as I get the jist


    of what that might mean.


    What did Margo say to Wilma? What did Margo know? Surely Jake didn’t tell her about sleeping with


    me? Everything that happened?


    My head is reeling. Of course, he would. He tells Margo everything about anything, she’s like a


    surrogate mother to him, and my old mentor. She would’ve pushed him to give her the real reason he


    let me go, unsatisfied with excuses and seeing through any untruths. He would’ve told Margo about


    that night for sure. That we had sex on the hotel floor.


    But would Margo have told this woman?


    Even when I was with Jake, I kept Margo up to date with how he was doing; she always wanted to


    know, she always seemed discreet to me, so I hope right now she has been. Wilma winks at me


    knowingly and I pale, my body turns colder as the blood leaves my veins and my mind almost crumbles


    hysterically.


    Oh, my god.


    She must know!


    I feel sick and betrayed by my old mentor, the pain is almost overwhelming. I swallow hard, unable to


    think of a response, but Wilma doesn’t dwell. She sweeps away from me with a wave of her hand,


    leaving me reeling in panic with nothing more to say on the matter.


    “The schedule is on top of that file, Emma … We’re arranging a dinner and dance for the Carrero


    anniversary. Read the files, we have press releases and a guest list to sort out, that’s going to be your


    job. Look over what’s been arranged, then we’ll talk. The suggested guest list is in there too.”


    I watch her walk away, gob smacked,pletely overwhelmed, my head somewhere in outer space,


    stunned, like I’ve been hit by a tornado, but I push it all down deep inside and stare at my hands as


    they tremble around the file I am grasping.


    Forget Margo, forget Jake. This is my life now and they owe me nothing. He owes me nothing.


    Wilma doesn’t seem to care about the past, so neither should I.


    I turn my attention to the box, dismissing all of it and focusing on work as it’s what I do best. The


    schedule looks full and exhausting, but I see potential. I can work my ass off on this and regain some of


    my reputation. This job should be easy; easier than facing Senior Carrero and handing out coffee like a


    mindless minion every day. This is exactly what I need, a new challenge and a new distraction. Time to


    get myplicated head back together and file everything into that little ck lock box in my mind. I


    can be the old me again.


    I set to work, finding myself engrossed in tasks I’m more than capable of and the hours fly by for the


    first time in weeks.


    N?velDrama.Org owns all ? content.


    I nce up seeing people leave, realizing it’s the end of the workday already and I have been so zoned


    I didn’t notice.


    This is exactly what I needed to forget him.


    * * *


    The apartment seems quiet when I put my key in the door and my heart pounds through my chest


    wondering if Sarah made my mother leave, but something deep down tells me she hasn’t. I open the


    door slowly and take a deep steadying breath to calm my nerves. The small hall which opens into the


    sitting room, smells of food bring cooked and I sigh, anxiety riling up again.


    Sarah won’t be home from her shift at work, Marcus is unlikely to cook so that means someone else is


    here. I stiffen as I walk in, glimpsing my mother leaning over the stove, her arm still in a cast. There’s a


    young brte hovering by her side helping with whatever she is currently massacring.


    Figures. My mother’s cooking expertise stops at heating a can of soup.


    I take a moment to work out that the brte is the nurse Jake’s still paying to take care of her. He’s


    honoring his promise to Sophie, a runaway we met when she was living with my mother in Chicago and


    who is now being adopted by family friends of the Carreros’. He gave Sophie his word he would take


    care of her until her injuries are fully healed, despite cutting ties with me. It causes a dull aching lump to


    form in my throat and my eyes well up with tears I refuse to cry. My heart breaking all over again.


    Throwing my briefcase on the nearby couch I tense up, ready for this little altercation. They haven’t


    heard mee in, too busy making noise in the kitchen with bubbling pots and pointless chatter. My


    rage simmers at the sight of her in my home, taking over. I’m still reeling with the fact that she let Ray


    Vanquis back in her life, after everything and yet here she is.


    “Mother,” I snap, loudly and firmly. No warmth at all as both heads spin round, minor surprise reced


    with quick smiles.


    “Emma.” My mother gushes as shees out of the little kitchen toward me, her face still bearing


    some of the yellowing bruises from being beaten to a pulp by the so-called man in her life. She


    attempts to hug me but meets my icy stance and statue like posture. I flinch at her touch, so she


    quickly recoils to stand a foot away from me awkwardly.


    I notice her nurse hovering in the background, her face a picture of confusion and embarrassment, at


    least she has the good grace to turn back to the stove and continue cooking, acting like she hasn’t


    seen anything.


    “Are you still mad at me?” My mother whimpers like a child, causing my anger to re again. That


    childish, wide-eyed expression of hers, the one I’ve seen a million times on her frail little innocent face,


    reserved for an audience. I turn away from her before I say something I can’t take back.


    “I’m going to get changed,” I snap and walk off, leaving her to stand in the center of the room like a lost


    puppy. I take satisfaction in the hurt evident on her face, maybe it’s about time she knew what it felt like


    to have someone who’s a part of you treat you like you don’t matter to them.


    * * *


    In my room, I sit on my bed and take a moment to inhale slowly, despite my outward frosty reception,


    I’m shaking on the inside from her visit. She affects me in ways I’ll never understand, no matter how I


    try to deny it. The woman knows how to make me feel worthless without trying.


    She always pulls the rug out from under me, is that the curse of her being my mother? On some level,


    that child inside of me still wants her to wipe away my pain, unaware that she’s the one who causes


    most of it.


    I smart at the thought and my eyes wander to my closed door.


    I know that I dislike who she is. I don’t hate her … I don’t know if I love her anymore … But I don’t know


    what I feel.


    I get up and change into casual clothes, tight jeans, and loose top, d to be out of the confines of a


    suit. I used to love dressing that way, but nowadays it feels stifling and ustrophobic. My hair, already


    loose, has grown an inch since I had it cut, it brushes my shoulders constantly with its wild waves. I


    look in the mirror at my head of tawny hair, brushing it back to reveal tired eyes and a sad face.


    Do I look like this all the time? Or is this the effect Jocelyn Anderson has had on me just by walking


    through the door?


    I push back the sad expression and lift my chin defiantly, pasting on the face of self-preservation that


    I’ve perfected over the years. Refusing to let her see my pain.


    Returning to the sitting room I see she’s trying to help dish out beef stew into bowls with a smile on her


    face. Bad moods forgotten, pushed to one side, like always. This is just the way she is, acting like


    nothing has happened. The sad story of my life with her.


    I bristle and grind my teeth to curb the raw fury which rushes up. I’m on edge just watching her, while


    she acts like this is the most normal scene in the world. I nce at her young nurse; she seems


    capable and has a maturity about her.


    I wonder how much she knows. I wonder how much Jocelyn Anderson has let her see.


    “Food’s ready.” The young woman chirps brightly upon seeing me,ying the bowls on the small dte


    table. I watch my mother hesitantly stay back. She’s waiting on my reaction before she makes a move.


    I slide into a chair at the table and concentrate on picking up the cutlery, starting to eat. I know I’m


    being cold and rude, and right now I just don’t care. Thest time I saw her she was in a hospital bed,


    battered and broken and I’d just learned that the man responsible was the same one who tried to rape


    me when I was eighteen. She’d gone back to him, the abusive prick, without a second thought to what


    it might do to me, or to our rtionship.