Chapter 87


    We get to the airfield in the dark. Marissa is traveling with us, invading my territory and I resent her


    presence. She’s wearing Jake’s sunsses over her pale face, despite thete hour; I’m guessing she


    has puffy eyes from crying, and even that tiny little detail causes me so much internal trauma. Those


    sses are always meant for me, not her.


    She looks effortlessly seductive in a clingy cream dress, showcasing her curves and long curled hair.


    She hasn’t said one word since the tense meeting in the room as we left and then drove over here in


    hostile silence. I avoid looking at her, and him, he’s ushering her onto the ne like she’s some


    petnt child. His hand asionally touching her lightly to guide her and burning my soul. He’s


    avoided me since he left my room, his manner toward me is cool and distant and I can’t stand it.


    N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    Maybe it’s better like this. There’s been icy silence, avoidance of eye contact between any of us and an


    atmosphere so thick you could slice it with a knife. Marissa is acting like I don’t even exist and hasn’t


    once looked my way. Not that I care. That wless face and pouting mouth only ignite my internal rage


    and I wonder how she would look with myptop rammed down her throat.


    I sit alone on the left of the aisle and pull out myptop to give me something to focus on, besides the


    last few hours. I don’t want to open my mind to what I did with him, and I can’t bring myself to look at


    him with her. I don’t want to see his nk expression, devoid of any emotion, cutting me off.


    They both go to sit over the aisle, facing one another across a small table. I try not to watch as she


    attempts a reach at his hand. My stomach tightens but he removes it from the table, returning it to his


    lap coolly and they sit in silence, tension heavy. I want him to move and sit somewhere else, away from


    her, or across from me instead. He doesn’t.


    I watch from the corner of my eye, breath held, she’s pouting at him, but he ignores her. Shifting in his


    seat so that he can look out of the window instead, he doesn’t seem to have anything to say to either of


    us. I guess Jake has never had to deal with a messy situation like this before. He never really oveps


    women so that anye face to face. And anyone he dates normally knows it’s temporary and doesn’t


    make a fuss. This, however, is beyond awkward. Two women who actually love him and want more.


    Although he only knows about her because I’ll never admit it.


    * * *


    I attempt to work through the flight as I have enough to keep me upied, to pretend to anyway, and


    I’m aware of him for the entire journey. His closeness across the aisle, his scent lingering between us.


    We’re not far apart, but it feels like there’s a canyon between us. A million miles of vast baronnd and


    he’s so un-reachable, like I’ve lost him.


    He’s using hisptop, but unlike me he’s not as focused and wired into it the way I’m trying to be, he


    keeps staring pensively out of the window and fixing a nk gaze at the darkness outside. His mood is


    preupied. I wonder what he’s thinking about and it tugs at me. I long to know what’s keeping his


    head busy as he stares silently into nothing.


    Is he thinking about what we did? Or is he thinking about the baby and her? I want to know how you


    feel, Jake, about all of it. This is sheer agony.


    I long to be alone with him and have him tell me what’s going on in that dark look and still face. I know I


    never will again, we’ve reached an impasse. The only way forward doesn’t bear thinking about and I


    was right about what would happen.


    I try not to look at Marissa, now sound asleep in her chair, his sunsses still in ce on her wless


    face. We contrast in so many ways so only our hair color matches. She’s small and curvy with deep


    dark eyes and a sensual mouth, everything about her scream’s exotic beauty. Her figure curvy, yet not


    overweight, her breastsrger than average and they look natural. She’s a born seductress in every


    way and I never stood a chance against her. We’re unevenly matched.


    How could I everpare to her?


    I’m small and petite with average curves, average face, average Emma. Pale and blonde with no sexy


    skills at all. She’s the first girl he ever loved, and now she’s carrying his child. She isn’t some damaged


    mess, unable to rx and let Jake in fully, she’s not some girl he just screwed out of frustration on the


    bedroom floor to cure weird tension between us.


    That was me!


    I watch him longingly, knowing I never stood a chance against him, or with him. How could I? Some


    worthless little tramp from Chicago with hopes of grandeur, no way of knowing how to deal with the


    force that is Jake Carrero. I have deluded myself for so long. He’s always been out of my


    league.