Chapter 47
How far from the hotel did we stray? Seems like an eternity.
I need to get out of this stifling car. Take deep breaths to both cool and calm myself.
“You’re all of those things, Emma, and I think partly, because of the shit you endured.” He sighs heavily.
He truly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
“You’re also allowed to be human and … vulnerable … You’re allowed to let someone in. Let me in!”
he’s almost pleading at me.
“Not with my job, Mr. Carrero.” I smile emptily, my voice lighter while trying to sound normal, wishing to
end the tension between us. Even though he doesn’t reciprocate, his eyes soften, and I wipe away my
tears, turning to him once again. Calm and in control once more.
“Even with your job,” he answers gently, reaching out and taking my fingers in his tenderly, entwining
them with mine and leaving our hands on the leather seat between us. I don’t look down, but the
warmth of his touch sends a small reassurance through me. Fully bringing me to calm.
“I think the boss would soon have something to say if I reverted to some feeble, emotional victim who
wept over old scars, don’t you?” I smile, hoping to turn this conversation back to our usual banter.
Release this heavy fog like tension around us.
“The boss would be an idiot if he did.” He looks over at me, a hint of a sad flicker. No fun and flirty from
Jake, he’s still in serious mode.
“My boss is sometimes an idiot.” I flutter at him cheekily. “He gets me drunk, irrationally drunk and lets
me fall apart when he should know better.”
“Maybe getting you drunk is the only time you’re truly yourself around him. That, and it’s easier to
seduce you when you can’t see straight.” Finally, I catch that glint of cheeky in his eye. He visibly
rxes into casual pose.
“So, you nned on getting me drunk, Mr. Smooth? To take advantage of me!” I shake my head, mood
fully restored to tipsy mellow, everything fading away, and I’m d that we’ve steered away from
emotional topics. This weird habit we have of going from fire to softpping waves in a sh.
“No … Maybe … Yes. Damn, you caught me!” he’s smiling, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and I know
he’s still digesting what he’s learned about me. I didn’t want him to know any of that stuff. I want to take
it all back.
What does he see now? Damaged goods … Some pathetic little girl that men tried to molest. A slutty
girl who encouraged it maybe? Her own father couldn’t even look at her, was too disgusted to want her.
That inner shame and self-loathing rising out from the fiery depths once more and I swallow it down.
“I don’t want to do this, Jake.” I utter quietly. Looking down at our hands, held together so weirdly fitted
and snug.
“What? Snuggle in the cab? Let me take advantage of you?” he nces at me a little unsurely. Humor
evident, but not quite hitting the mark.
“This whole bonding over shitty childhood experiences … I want to take it all back, so you don’t know
any of it.” I breathe out honestly, still holding his hand, still takingfort from his touch. He’s my
harbor in the storm right now.
“Why?”
“Because it’s … Shameful. I’m ashamed of it.” It’s the first time I’ve ever said it out loud and admitted it.
I sigh, steadying my inner turmoil but this is harder than I thought it could be. He shakes his head and
pulls me close to him across the seat, releasing my hand to bring an arm around me tightly, his
forehead resting against mine as he pulls my face back to him. His hand along my jawline carefully
brining me to him.
“Emma, you never did anything wrong … You didn’t ask for any of it.” His green eyes lock on mine
forcefully, dark with emotion.
“I must have … Why did they keep trying?” ites out from somewhere inside of me, causing a sharp
pain in my chest and I hate that alcohol causes this verbal diarrhea. Anytime I think I have a handle on
it, teen Emma blurts out the dark secrets and insecurities to Jake. He has a way of making it happen.
“Because you’re beautiful, and they wanted you … It makes them the sick fucks. I would destroy every
single one of them to prove to you that this isn’t your fault.” The conviction and fire in his voice and
eyes makes me want to curl up in hisp again. I know that he means it, that he’s capable of it. I can’t
let things slide so far into personal in this way, it would affect our rtionship in so many ways. I nce
up at him, with what I hope, is a grateful expression and a soft smile.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” And this time I mean it. I’ve never opened up about this, never
cried about it to anyone, except him and I feel nauseous at the thought that Jake just saw all of that. I
want to recoil and hide in shame and take it all back. I move his hand from my face and pull away, still
sitting close but gazing away from him, out of the window.
“Emma …?” I can tell by his tone that he’s going to push this further. I stiffen with slight hostility.
Bristling up.
“No!” I answer boldly with determination.
“You can’t open a door to let me in, then shut it in my face.” He pleads, his handing to trace my
jawline tenderly. His touch dissolving some of my resolve for a second. His caress always makes my
body sag hopelessly.
“Yes, I can …” I stay, calm and aloof, wanting to remove his fingers from my skin but needing his touch
more. Taking sce in it while fighting him.
“I won’t let you, Emma … This isn’t thest time we talk about this, next time you won’t be drunk,” he
seems determined building the tension between us.
“There will never be a next time, Jake, just let it go.” I’m back in PA mode. Emotion pushed down and
voice steady. I know he’s frowning at me. I can tell by the tone of his voice, but I don’t care, the alcohol
is numbing things again, but I’m starting to feel overwhelmingly sick.
The car stops as we pull into the hotel garage, finally, the endless journeyes to a halt. I slide out as
soon as we stop, moving from his side yet he tugs me by the wrist back to him and then follows me out
into the dark electric lit basement. He has my shoes in one hand and he stoops to scoop me up in
princess carrying fashion. My arm sliding easily behind his neck.
“I can walk,” I protest weakly. Too tired to mean it.
“There’s broken ss and all sorts of crap down here … Be quiet and just hold on. Enjoy being the
damsel for once, woman!” he’s in boss mode and I know argument is pointless. In a way, I’m d
because I’m still swaying, and everything keeps sliding around me. I hold on around his neck and rest
my temple against his jaw, inhaling him. He feels good, he smells amazing, safe, strong, and warm and
I nce up, trying to gauge how drunk he is, in the hopes he’ll forget our entire conversation, but he
seems normal. His focus intent on where he’s heading. His green eyes clear and gorgeous as always.
Was I the only one to get stered?
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He catches my eye and gives me a genuine smile, a soft and warm look. The urge to trace his chiseled
lips with my fingers shocks me and I rest my face back down into the hollow of his neck, inhaling him
while I can and taking away the temptation. He carries me into the elevator and back to our
rooms.