Chapter 196


    E


    “What do you mean, it was a memory?” Sinir asks carefully. “I thought the priests came to you in the


    orphanage? I don’t remember anything about humans attacking you in the woods.”


    I stare at myp, cradling my belly and trying to figure out how to exin my deceit. I knew this


    conversation was inevitable -I even prepared for it, but these are not the circ.umstances I expected. I


    didn’t imagine I would be so emotionally fragile, or that Sinir would be wrapped around me purring,


    fresh off of rescuing me from a traumatic nightmare. I thought I would be able to present my case and


    apologize, acknowledging my wrong doing with confidence and strength of conviction.


    Now I fear it’s going to tumble out as a mess of excuses and tangled feelings.


    “E?” Sinir presses, his voice taking on a dominant tone.


    When I finally look up at him, tears pour from myshes. “Ive still been doing the hypnosis.” I confess,


    my l!ps quivering with every word. “I went behind your back and convinced the others to help me.”


    Sinir’s glowing emerald eyes bore into me as me.”


    Sinir’s glowing emerald eyes bore into me as his jaw clenches tight, the muscles twitching


    dangerously. I open my mind to him, showing him everything that happened through our bond, both the


    lead up to the second session and the events we uncovered through the ether. I even show him the


    conversation afterwards, not wanting to hold anything back now that the game is up.


    Slowly, carefully, Sinir sets my body away from his, even as I try to cling to hìm. “No, please don’t


    leave, Dominic.”


    “Im not leaving.” He assures me gruffly. “I just need to think a minute and I can’t do that clearly when


    you’re snuggled up giving me those puppy dog eyes.”


    I sniffle, and I can feel his wolf’s continued agitation over me tears, even as the possessive Alpha


    struggles with his temper. I Wrap my arms around my knees, mping my hand over my wrist in a


    death grip so Il stay still. I’m finding it very difficult not to squirm in the face of my mate’s disapproval.


    Sinir paces back and forth, growling wordlessly as he works through his thoughts. He doesn’t let me


    feel his emotions, but a few slip out, giving me shes of anger, frustration and… heart wrenching


    disappointment. I’m shocked at how powerfully thest affects me. I’ve heard people who grew up in


    happy families say that disappointment can be worse than anger, something I’ve never understood until


    this moment. I didn’t believe anything could be more h?rrible than the violence and pain wrought by a


    perSon’s rage, I didn’t realize how different things are when love is involved.. when a person is your


    entire world and you let them down. I start to cry again, and hide my face in my knees so he can’t see


    my tears.


    After a moment his footsteps fall silent, and I lift my face to find my mate looming above me, a cold


    expression on his face. “What am I supposed to say to this E?”


    “Whatever you like.” I croak. “Whatever you’re thinking, whatever you’re feeling. I know I was wrong.”


    “Do you?” He counters roughly. “Because it seemed to me you were so convinced you were right you


    were willing to betray my trust. To ask my family, friends and guards to do the same.”


    “Not wrong for doing it, wrong for lying about it, hiding it.” I amend softly. Let me out. My wolf begs.


    I need to make it up to him. Let me show him how sorry I am.


    Not yet. I caution her. We need to have this out first.


    “What did you think would happen?” Sinir asks, crossing his arms over his c.hest. “That you’d


    uncover the secret to Winning the war and that would excuse what you did? That you coulde to


    me when I got home, tell me everything you learned and be forgiven?”


    I shake my head, absolutely miserable. “I just needed to know. We needed to know. But I don’t believe


    it excuses anything.”


    “You didn’t even give me a chance to agree.”


    Sinir bites, and even though he’s furious, he doesn’t seem to be able to resist touching me. He


    slides his powerful hand around my nape, applying gentle pressure that somehow steadies and thrills


    me.


    “I did,” I insist, l!cking my l!ps. “I tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t listen.”


    “You didn’t,” he corrects firmly, stroking the side of my neck with his thumb – pure dominant affection.


    “Not the way you talked to the others, you assumed I couldn’t be objective about you.”


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    A sh of defiance sparks in my c.hest, and I notch my chin up, trying to match his scowl. “Was I


    wrong?”


    I can feel his wolf fighting for control, and in the next moment he’s pulling me up onto my knees.


    No, damn you. You weren’t.” He rumbles, dragging me into his arms and iming my mouth in a


    searing k!ss. I don’t resist, I throw my arms around his neck and let myself be taken. His hands are


    rough on my body, and so are his l!ps. Sinir nips my lower l!p with his fangs and takes advantage of


    my gasp, sliding his tongue into my mouth. His big hand stays locked on my nape, holding me in ce


    for his conquest, tilting my head this way and that. He grumbles and growls, and I shudder in reply, not


    caring what else happens, as long as he keeps k!ssing me this way.


    Before long I’m breathless and overwhelmed with liquid heat. When Sinir pulls back, I try to follow


    him and whimper in disappointment when he doesn’t let me. “I won’t lie to you, mate.” He remarks


    huskily, our breath mingling.”This has hurt us. How am I supposed to trust you again?”


    I shrug, even though this devastates me. “Isn’t that the choice you made when you left? To have me


    safe and hating you, rather than happy and dead?”


    I inquire. “I chose to lose your trust and help the war, rather than keep it and hinder our efforts.”


    Sinir sighs, stroking my spine in long, soothing lines. “Hugo was right.” He says, baffling me.


    We’re two sides of the same coin, you and I.”


    “Of course we are.” I answer, nudging his nose with my own. “we’re mates. If I have to deal with you


    being stubborn and impo?sible and infuriatingly self-sacrificing, it’s only fitting that you have to deal with


    the same from me. I’m your just desserts, Alpha.”


    The corner of Sinir’s mouth quirks upward. “Are you calling me names little wolf? Don’t you think


    you’re in enough trouble as it is?”


    “I figure that if I’m going to do a thing, I might as well go all in.” I reply, offering him a shy smile.


    Though I do have plenty of other names in mind for you.”


    “Mhmm, and what are those?” He inquires, sliding his hand over my bottom and squeezing. It’s both


    sensual promise and threat, but all that matters is the hungry look in his eyes, all signs of anger and


    distress reced with desire.


    “Bossy,” I begin, pausing to nibble his jaw.


    Overprotective, possessive, tyrannical, bl00dthirsty, unreasonable…” I k!ss or nip a new sp0t with every


    word, moving down his neck and over his c.hest, delighting in the warning sounds from his wolf. Just


    when I sense he’s about to pounce, I look up at him and let all my love rush through our bond. “Brave,”


    I offer, k!ssing his muscr abs, “Noble.. ” k!ss, “cunning,” nip,” powerful…” l!ck, “passionate,” I


    unb.utton his sleek ck trousers. “Gorgeous, se.xy, generous to a fault.” I slide his pants down his


    legs. “My absolute heart and soul. The best man I’ve ever known. The only one I ever want.”


    Sinir catches my hands before I can take his hardness in my palm, pulling me back up to eye level.


    He k!sses me again, and my pulse races with excitement – every bit as feverish and exhrating as the


    first time. “Thank you, baby.”


    I’m surprised to hear his deep voice hoarse with emotion, and I realize how hard this distance has been


    on him as well.


    “Has it been horrible, waiting for me every night and me nevering?” I ask anxiously.


    “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Sinir informs me, with pure authority. “As far as I’m


    concerned we can deal with all that when I’m back.


    But right now I just want to be with my mate.” He brushes my hair back from my face with both hands,


    cupping my cheeks. “Are you recovered enough, from your nightmare?”


    I nod, reaching again for the hard member pressing into my tummy. He stops me again of course,


    giving me a sharp look. I huff “Yes, Dominic. You made it all okay – you always do.”


    “Good, because I have some words for you too, trouble.” Sinir informs me darkly,ying me out on


    the bed in front of him. He’s got that wolfish look in his eye, the one that tells me I’m in for a long night


    at my mate’s mercy. The one that tells me he’s barely in control, and all I can do is hold on and try to


    survive the pleasure. “Let’s start with brilliant..” he str!ps off my nightdress. “Beautiful…”


    He traces the line of my curves. “Courageous…” k!ss, “sweet,” nibble, “fvcking delectable,” l!ck, “… and


    very, very naughty.”