Chapter 79: Layered Feelings
I had worn a white and blue floral dress with a high neck andyered scarf around my neck. I also
parted half of my hair back and held it up with arge matching blue ribbon. Vance came to my dorm
and greeted me with a carriage as I came out.
Our destination was the Royal Castle. King Arundel wanted to award me and Vance for our valiant
efforts in the recent incident. I received a Medal of Honor alongside Vance. I left without making any
eye contact with Prince Erik.
"Arielle," Prince Erik called out to me.
I cannot avoid this person...
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"...Greetings, Your Highness. It has been a while since we have met," I said with a curtsy.
"...Your Highness?"
I sighed.
"How else would you like for me to refer you as when we are not close friends, lovers or engaged to
one another? We no longer have anything to do with each other," I said coldly.
"As expected of a cold person like you...Running away from me for all these years and thening
back with a stranger by your side. You are truly a despicable person, " Prince Erik said piercingly.
My heart felt as if it was being pricked by a thousand needles.
"So what?" I answered him snidely.
"Do I not get at least one exnation for all of this?" Prince Erik asked me.
"Why do I owe you an exnation for anything?" I asked.
"Not just once...It was several times that you saved me. Just recently, you almost died for me. Can you
still say that you do not love me after all of this?" Prince Erik asked.
I do not want to answer such an unfair question...
"...We no longer have anything to do with each other than just being former lovers and engagement
partners of a political marriage. I am free to do whatever I want now, including being with whoever I
want," I said.
"You n on marrying him?"
"If he intends to take me, I will!" I said strongly.
He grabbed my wrist as he stared deeply into my eyes.
"Ari..."
My entire being shook with fear...My nickname that was used with the original Erik had escaped his
lips.
"How did you..."
His eyes widened in surprise.
"I knew it...you returned as well."
I panicked and pulled my hand back and ran away as fast as I could.
He returned...He returned...He returned!
I hid it all in alone for so long, but it turns out that he had returned as well!
Since when? Does that mean he watched me all this time and thought of me as an unfaithful person?
What did he think while I was with Garett?
"Ari!" Prince Erik screamed as he continued chasing after me.
I could not let him catch me and frantically continued running away. He suddenly caught me by my
wrists.
"Let go of me!" I screamed at him.
"No! You will run away again if I do!" Prince Erik said.
"No!" I fell to my knees and began sobbing.
"Ari, why are you crying?" Prince Erik asked.
If only you did not remember anything...things would not have to be more difficult than it already is.
"Let go!" I screamed at him. "I am tired of you always forcing me to go with your whims! That is why I
left you when I returned to this life."
"That is a lie, Arielle! We were happily married for over a year and were together ever since we were
children. How can you say that you do not have feelings for me anymore?" Prince Erik asked.
"Your Highness, if I may be honest, I think that you have a misconception about how marriage is.
Marriage between Nobles usually mean only one thing...political advantage. That was the same for us
and even both of our parents," I said.
"Why would you break off our engagement? It would have been politically advantageous for your family
to enter in the royal family, yet you chose to break off our engagement...for what reason? Can you say
that no personal feelings were involved in your decision making?" Prince Erik asked.
"If I had to name a reason, it would be that you fell in love with me despite one day bing King," I
said.
"...What does that have to do with anything?" Prince Erik asked.
Your position has everything to do with it. If you were just a simple man and I as a weak lovable
woman, we would easily be happy together forever.
"It would have been better if you just continued hating me. It would have been bearable to marry you
for duty then. Not once, but several times, you have constantly protected me at the expense of
yourself. You are the type to sacrifice everything for the people you love, but I cannot say that I approve
of your behavior. As King, the most Noble person in the kingdom, you should know above everyone
else that we follow noblesse oblige...We simply do not live for just the people we care for," I said
cruelly.
"I do not understand, Arielle...You are telling me that I should not have saved you in our first lives?"
Prince Erik asked.
That is exactly why we are all hurting...It is because of your love for me that everyone around us is
suffering. No, it is all because I cannot let you go of you in my heart, so I will be as cruel as possible to
you.
"You are weak...Your feelings hinder your thoughts and lead you to make rash decisions. As King, you
need to put yourself first and learn how to abandon things and not act like a Hero. No one ever asked
you to! When I broke off our engagement, I was doing you a favor, Your Highness," I said with a twisted
smile on my face.
"A favor? Breaking my heart was a favor?" Prince Erik asked as he was on the verge of tears.
My heart trembled from the bitterness in my soul that continued seeping out from my core.
As I thought, God is especially cruel to me by constantly testing my love and devotion towards this
person...
"Arundel will only benefit from a King who can think rationally and will not be swayed by personal
feelings," I said.
"...I am defective because I love you? How does that make any sense!" Prince Erik screamed as he
tried to grab me by my shoulders.
I avoided his touch by pping away his hands that I loved so much before.
"...If you were a perfect Prince, you would choose your country over your own personal feelings."
He was already a perfect Prince. It was just that his heavy feelings tended to cloud his judgement...
"...In other words, you choose protecting this country over loving me?" he asked he covered his eyes
with one hand.
I wanted to shout that it was not true...and that there was no way that I could love anything more than
him.
"Yes...I would choose this country over you any day," I answered him coldly.
Protecting this country is the best way that I can help you. I know that very well. That is why I can spit
out these razor sharp like words. What I want for Erik is for him to love himself and throw away his self-
sacrificial tendencies. So long as he is alive and well, that is all that matters...
My resolve wavered slightly when I saw his tears falling down his face. I choked up but quickly
regained myposure. I wed my hands deeply to the point where I felt blood dripping from my
hands.
"You are the most defective Prince I have ever met before," I said as I tried to keep my gaze on him.
"Answer me this...Was our marriage all a lie? Did you really not love me?" Prince Erik asked.
"There are many couples that form marriages from arranged marriages. Some even eventuallye to
love their partner after some time, while others unfortunately end up in loveless marriages. As your
Queen, I supported you with all of my heart, but there was never any love. The person I loved was
never you. Deep down, I have always...always hated you," I said cruelly.
I cried for a long time after that. Half of it was because of the harsh words I said to him. The other half
had to do with the fact that we were both still deeply in love with each other.
I love this country...
It was because we met here that I was able to meet Erik. However, it is not enough if I am the only one
who loves him, so I will make him a King who is loved by their people as well as give him the most
lonesome and insufferable seat in the whole world...