《My Fianc茅e Hates Me》 Chapter 1: Happy Marriage Chapter 1: Happy Marriage When I close my eyes, I can easily remember when I first met my husband as a child... I knew that I would have my partner decided for me since I belonged to a influential Duke''s family. Only a person of an equal or higher position would be eptable as my husband. I was chosen as Crown Prince Erik Arundel''s fianc¨¦e. For that person, I must strive to be the perfectdy. If I do so, I will eventually be loved by him. A "I hate you...You will never be the object of my affection. I will marry you to satisfy our families, but I will never love you," Prince Erik said to my child self. These are the first words I received from my would-be fianc¨¦. Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. I wondered what I did to earn his hate and continued pondering about it without answering. "Hey! Are you deaf!" As he approached me, I felt scared by his angry face and began walking backwards. I suddenly lost my bnce and tripped over the fountain. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw His Highness reach his hand out to me with a panicked expression. I grabbed his hand without much thought, and we both ended up in the fountain. "...I am so very sorry," I apologized. "You are rather clumsy," he said in an annoyed voice. From that day, I continued meeting up with Prince Erik when he woulde over to my home several times for some reason. I always assumed that he wascking in interaction with children his age, so he woulde to bother me. Despite him acting rather rude towards me in several instances, he would stille back and show his care for me. I just assumed his bad attitude came from his social awkwardness with girls. He was oddly sweet in his own unique way. In that awkwardness, I foundfort in being around him. I thought first love was something beyond me, but he made me think otherwise. When we became proper adults, we happily got married to each other and I supported him in any way that I could. Now as an adult, I am about to go meet Dolton Grass to in order to learn more about the disturbances in the northern border and the chances of a possible war between this kingdom Arundel and the neighboring kingdom The Balik Empire. On my way there, I suddenly felt an urge to puke despite not having ate anything and made a quick stop at the restroom. I had been feeling faint these days but dismissed my worries because I was on the receiving end of my partner''s passionate love. When I thought back to my period, I noticed that it was incredibly irregr, so I decided to finally check myself out with a Doctor. It was then that I was informed that I was pregnant... I should scrutinize my husband for not being careful during uncertain times like these, but it is not like I tried stopping him either. Nheless, I was very happy to carry the child of my husband. I hurried made my way to the courtroom to see Dolton before I went to see my husband. Instead of finding Dolton waiting for me, I found Kaya Ouchi whom was Erik''s admirer back in our school days who was now holding a de in front of her. "...P-Please calm down," I told her. "No!" "...Where is Dolton?" I asked. "Not here...I told him that I wanted to speak to you, and he let me in." She was banned from being near me because she often antagonized me with her followers and spread terrible rumors about me. Even without seeing her, I heard much of her exploits. She was always one to involve herself with polygamous rtionships until she got caught doing indecent acts in an empty ssroom and was promptly expelled from the Royal Academy. On her neck was a very noticeable purple bruise. "...Did you seduce Dolton?" I asked. "Out of all of the harem characters, he was the easiest one to control," she said. Even after graduating, she still talks nonsense... She spent her time going around iming that she was some Heroine of something called an Otome game and that all men including Erik who was of Royal blood was also her servant. Along with myself and many other students, we all considered her mentally ill. "Why are you here?" I asked. "How dare you be at his side? You ruined everything! I should have been the one with Prince Erik!" I had underestimated her love for Erik. She had followed him constantly around during our Academy days and tried to bring him to her side all the time by saying that she was his destined one. "I did not know that you loved Erik that much," I said. "Hah? Love him? I only love the position of a Queen," she said with a scoff. "What?" "Those pretty dresses of yours and all of that jewelry you wear should be mine! Mine! You were already born with wealth, beauty, intelligence, and had people constantly fawning over you. It is unfair for such a perfect being to exist! You could not even spare me the capture target Prince Erik whom I wanted the most. He is just some NPC character without any feelings. Even so, he should be mine as well!" she shrieked as she waved the knife around like a madman. "...Please calm down," I pleaded to her once more. I suddenly choked on my words and felt and held my hand over my mouth to stop myself from puking again. "...Are you with child?" she asked in a small voice. Her eyes had turned ominously dark. I instinctively protected my stomach. "...Please stop this, Lady Kaya," I begged Why wasn''t anyoneing despite the loudmotion? "I see...You used your body too. Everything is wrong because of you. If it were not for you, I would have had everything!" She threw her body with her de in my direction. I could have easily dodged her clumsy attack but lost my bnce from the nausea. I continued to cover my stomach just in case she tried to harm my child. I saw Eriking in from the corner of my eye. "No! Ari!" Erik had pushed me aside and thrown himself in front of the de thatnded in his center. Blood shot forth from the wound and from Erik''s mouth. "N-Noooooo!" I screamed. "...No, the script said that we were meant to be," Lady Kaya said as she fell to the ground. My ears perked up. "...Script?" I asked. Was it destiny for me to die? The guards came in and arrested her afterwards. "Arrest her! Arrest Lady Arielle! She had stolen my ce beside His Majesty!" she screamed as she was dragged away. I hugged Erik''s head towards my body. "Erik...Erik...Erik..." "Ari...are you alright?" Erik asked. "Stop talking! You will make it worse. How could you throw yourself in front of the de? You are a King!" "...You are my Queen," Erik said. I tried applying pressure to the wound. "Why! Why won''t you stop bleeding? Someone just make it stop!" I pleaded. "It''s alright, Ari...You don''t have to try so hard anymore," he said as he touched my stomach. ...Did he know? Is that why he jumped in front of the dagger? It would have been better if this child never existed! "It was supposed to be a surprise...We were going to make a family and be happy together," I said as I touched his hand over my stomach. "I wish that we all could have been together longer. It was short, but I was happy...So, please smile," Erik said as he held my cheek. His hand fell shortly afterwards. I could tell from his lifeless eyes and from the blood on my shaking hands that he was truly gone. I gripped my hand over my stomach. There is no way that I could smile or even live in a world without you... "If I cannot be with you in life, then I shall be together with you in death," I said as I picked up the de and held it towards my heart. "I am sorry, Our Child..." I gave my all for love but still could not be happy... Stab. Chapter 2: Petty Fianc茅 [Past Life] Chapter 2: Petty Fianc¨¦ [Past Life] When we were young, Prince Erik woulde to my home nearly every day to entertain me. Rather, I am going out of my way to entertain him. As if to prove his superiority, he often goes out of his way to challenge me in such things like music or painting. The Prince was not bad at really anything. It was just that he was not particrly better than me. Still, to try everything just to beat your future wife in at least one thing...There is a level of pettiness one should reach before getting tired of it, yet it seems that Prince Erik is nowhere near that threshold. I heard of him going to study abroad, so that may be why he is cramming in so much time with me before he leaves. I thought I would take a rest under my favorite tree. "Mdy is quite dull..." I never thought that I would be caught in between the maids'' gossiping and about me no less. "What do you mean by that?" "His Highness always spouts out mean words at her, but she doesn''t even bat an eysh!" Everything Prince Erik says is opposite to his feelings, so I do not really need to respond much. "Does that make her dull?" "I would have cried or had at least some sort of reaction. She just takes in everything. Come to think of it, none of us have really seen her smile before." "That would be impossible, right?" "...I have never seen her smile either." "She is a thoroughly trained youngdy. It cannot be helped that she is excellent in whatever she does." "It is still a bit unsettling how perfect she is. It''s not like she is even human..." Their words dug deep into my heart. I could not deny a single thing. It was all true. "What a scary child..." I could only curl up in one spot. I am a dull and boring person. Am I really human? "Arielle..." His Highness had called my name for the very first time. I felt a burdene off of my chest when he said my name. "...Ah, yes?" "What''s wrong?" "You called me by my name..." "Your name is Arielle, right?" "Yes, I just thought that you would not use my name." "That would be a bit strange if I were continuing down that road considering that you are my fianc¨¦e." "You still consider me as your fianc¨¦e?" "...I don''t exactly hate you anymore, so there is no reason for us to break it off." "I am a dull, cold, and boring person...I think that is enough for you to call it off." "You may be a bit dull and cold sometimes," he said as he pulled me up by my hand, "but you are definitely not boring, Arielle." I feel happy when I am with him. If only this feeling couldst forever... After thatst meeting, Prince Erik and I were separated for a few years due to him going abroad for his studies. Even so, he never forgot to write to me once every while. In his simple letters, he would ask me about my day or if I am eating well. Compared to him in person, he sounded rather sweet in his letters. I really do not understand this person...The person I even less understand is myself. I developed a sense of longing for this person during his absence. Not seeing his face for such a long time made me lonely. On my birthdays, he would never fail to send me a present. He would never take refusal as an answer. Such a strange person finds hobbies in buying women stuff as presents. I had told him that I disliked expensive things and that if he wanted something to give me it should have some meaning. This was partly due to me being slightly selfish and partly teasing because he seemed rather easy to tease. He would make my wishese true by sending me small trinkets that might appear worthless to someone else but are meaningful to me and also wrote me thoughtful poems as I requested. In a way, I felt like I was training my husband to be. I felt slightly guilty but got over it rather quickly Owned by N?velDrama.Org. because he made everything too easy to the point that it was a bit worrying. I tried even harder towards my studies as well as training my body and being careful not to be too lean and tan during training. It is all so that I can be the perfectdy to him. I thought I would touch up on myself on the day of hising-of-age ceremony. My hair was partly braided and done up prettily. I also put thought into my dress and decided to go with a simpler and more mature look. My body was going through some changes mostmonly seen around my chest area. I needed more room to breathe. It was a good time to change my style anyways. Theing-of-age ceremony was rather morous as ever most likely due to the fact that the Crown Prince had returned. Even though people describe me as a cold woman, they could still tell I was happy to see His Highness again after so long. I could not hold myself back from entering the Royal Garden of where we first met. I had grown up several years after our first meeting. I was finally at the point of where I was proud of myself looks wise. I was filled with rather high tension. To work it off, I began walking around in circles and ying with the ends of my hair. It was an improper sight...I just cannot hold my excitement in. Maids passing by could not help but smile upon catching me in my anxious state. How embarrassing... "Arielle," a male''s husky voice said. It was a voice I could never mistake no matter how much it would change. I turned my head to see a fully grown man with a domineering height and broad shoulders, beauty xen blonde hair, and eyes like emerald jewel. If it were not for him calling out to me, I would have never been able to tell that it was him. "Your Highness..." He suddenly approached me with long and deep strides. "It is Prince Erik to you, right?" His face suddenly got close to mine. He is a bit too close... "Wee back, Prince Erik," I responded shyly. "I''m back, Arielle," he said as he backed away slightly. "Did you miss me?" How shameless of him... "...Only enough as a fianc¨¦e should," I replied curtly. "I see...I guess I will head back then if my dear fianc¨¦e does not miss me," he said as he started off towards the castle. "My fianc¨¦e is cold as ever." I felt like crying. I wanted to be more honest and cuter like the otherdies. "Why don''t you? Your Highness must be very tired as well," I said curtly. He suddenly stopped and turned towards me. "So, it would seem...It seems that I have other ns," he said with a mocking smile. I followed his line of sight and saw that I was unknowingly clinging onto his sleeve. I tried to release my hand to no avail. This is really embarrassing... "Th-This is not what it looks like..." "Hahahaha...I understand," he said as he ced his hand over mine. "I will stick with you for a little longer." I finally felt my hand releasing. We seated ourselves beside the fountain of where we first met. This time he was holding onto my hand firmly. Rather than calming down from earlier, I only felt my heart beating crazily faster. "Prince Erik..." "This is where we first met, Arielle." "Yes..." "I want to apologize for what I said the day we met. I only said those things because I was tired of my duties as a sessor to the throne. Having everything decided to me was annoying. I thought that if I at least denied you, I would be rebelling just a little bit. As I got to know you, I started to understand that it was impossible to ignore you." D-Does that mean he... No, calm down my heart... "I see...For me, I thought of our engagement as a sense of duty, that it might have been the same for you and that we would be able to understand each other even if everyone else could not." I soon felt his hands run through my hair. His face was so close to me that I could see myself reflected in his eyes. "I would hate being engaged to someone I do not know, unless that person is you. There does not go one day where I did not think about you. I have missed you..." ...When did this person be so smooth with his words? "Me as well..." I closed my eyes as we felt the contact of each other''s lips. We had separated, but he had brought me back to a stronger and longer kiss. It feels good...or not! "Mmm...Wait, we mustn''t do this before marriage," I said as I pushed on his chest. I felt his arms circle around my waist. "Do what? We are just acting friendly." More than before, my fianc¨¦ has be an even bigger handful. Will I be alright like this? Chapter 3: One Rose Chapter 3: One Rose Within a few years of his return, I had entered the same academy as Prince Erik. The Royal Academy epts Nobles of ages sixteen and above where students will attend for three years before inheriting the family line. There are exceptions such as schrship students that get in through rmendations. There are only simple sses here because this is a school for mostly nobles. Anything more would require specialized institutions or apprenticeship. The true purpose of this yground is to test our abilities in making connections. In other words, you are tested in how to rule the people. "Wee," Prince Erik said as he greeted me with a red rose and a pink ribbon wrapped around it upon me entering the school gates. "Eek! It''s Prince Erik!" The girls watching were screaming off the top of their heads. I epted the rose. "Thank you, Your Highness," I told him as I gave a curtsy. This ce is a yground for this person. "A flower for your lovely self," he said as he handed another girl a flower of a different species. I walked past him after lowering my head slightly. One of his flowers...that is what I am. I will most likely be the main wife or the true Queen because of my familial position, but even a King will not love their wife enough to not have a few concubines. It was only until the current King that only has one wife, but he is still pressed to have more concubines. I cannot keep him all to myself... "Therefore, I do not get jealous..." Love means nothing to Royalty... I already finished mypulsory education. Retaking those sses may help with my social interaction, but there is far too little interaction within the ssroom for making connections. Having said that, some believe it is necessary to show off how smart they are by attending those sses even if it is unnecessary. I selected a few social courses, one strategic course, one economics course, a fewpulsory courses, equestrian, archery, swordsmanship...etc. "Arielle!" my friend Charlotte called out to me in homeroom. Charlotte is a Viscount''s Daughter and one of my very few close friends. She has long wavyvender colored hair and beautiful violet eyes. We met over at a tea party before and have kept in contact since then. Much different to myself, Charlotte is a lovely and very cute free spirited youngdy with a presence that makes anyone want to dote on her. "Greetings, Charlotte." "We are together again. I saw that you received a flower from His Highness! A red rose? That is romantic." "You received a flower as well." "It''s a white lily for purity and innocence. You received a red rose...Romantic love!" "Other girls also received flowers as well," I said. "I still believe that you are special, Arielle! After all, you are the prettiest girl in school." "Prettiest?" I hardly have any traits that I am really proud of other than my mother''s strawberry blonde hair and my father''s light sky-blue eyes. "Of course! You are always so blind to your own beauty." Charlotte always sincerely tters me. Despite this, I still get embarrassed. "If anyone, I think you would fall under beautiful with your smile and personality," I said as I grabbed more red thread for my embroidery project for the next ss. Charlotte hugged me tightly in herrge chest. "Arielle!" "I cannot breathe, Charlotte..." It was a good thing that we were allowed to roam the school to gain inspiration for our projects. It would have been a bad picture for Charlotte to be cradling a Duke''s Daughter in her chest. I took a look at the rose I was given and saw some words written within the ribbon attached to the flower. Tucked deep away in the school on a lovely patio with a crisp white patio set andrge umbre, His Highness was sitting by himself with a table full of food and the centerpiece being of my favorite flowers. "Your Highness, I have received your summon," I said as I did a curtsy.Owned by N?velDrama.Org. "Arielle, I am d that you came," he said as he got up from his chair and approached me. He kissed the back of my hand before guiding me to my seat. "I have prepared your favorites." "The asion?" "Your first day of many." We ate together quietly as we made small talk about our day so far. I poured the both of us some tea to go along with desserts. "Thank you for going out of your way¨C" "Are you going to keep that tone?" "I thought that it would be better to present myself this way by using a more respectful tone. We are surrounded by other nobles in thisrge garden. Furthermore, we are no longer children..." "Ari,e here..." he said as he motioned me with his hands. He was using my childhood nickname. In times like these, it means that he wants affection. The type of affection he usually wants is usually the lewd kind... I tucked back my skirt and slowly walked towards him. "Yes?" He had pulled on my wrist and thrown me roughly onto hisp with my back facing him. I thought my heart would stop when he threw me. His nose rubbed against the nape of my neck. The sensation made my body slightly tingle. "Ari, you smell nice as always." His hands gently and slowly made their way around my body. He had quickly unbuttoned the top buttons of my pinned-up cor. "Prince Erik, we are outside..." He brushed his lips against the back of my neck. "We are alone, yes?" "I do not believe that is the point," I said as I turned towards him and ced my hands over his mouth. He closed his eyes and began licking the palms of my hands. I quickly retreated and turned away from him. "My lovely fianc¨¦e is so unbearably cute." His Highness had picked up a strawberry and ced it between his lips. He had then pulled my chin up towards him. We joined together with a strawberry between our lips. Our wet kiss was mixed in with much saliva and sweetness from the strawberry. This man''s kisses are so sweet... "Hah...Prince Erik, I still do not believe that this is the best ce for such things," I said firmly. His face showed much disappointment. "I see..." I felt slightly guilty from seeing his face. "...If you do not mind, I could feed you." His eyes began to sparkle. "With your mouth?" "With silverware!" As I was cutting a slice of cake, I felt his hands rummaging around my skirt. What is he doing? "It would be better if these skirts were shorter..." What is he talking about? "Prince Erik?" I felt the contact of his bare hands on my thighs. "Eek! Prince Erik, why would you ce your hands under my skirt?" "It''s much warmer this way." Naughty prince... "Please do not rummage around in there." "I will only be in here for a bit...If you would please feed me," he said as he opened his mouth wide. "...Gosh." His hands began caressing my thighs. I carelessly dropped the piece of cake onto my chest. "Ah, you dropped it..." "Let me get a napkin," I said as I reached over the table. Thank goodness that it did not get on my clothes. This is the only good thing about having arge sized chest. As I was about to get a napkin, I felt my body being pulled towards his waist. His head was directly on top of me. "It''s a waste if we just clean it up..." He was licking up the fallen piece in such a delirious manner. "W-Wait!" I heard him sigh as he removed his hands from my skirt and buttoned my cor back up. He then squeezed me in his embrace and rested his head on my shoulder. "Prince Erik?" "You are sofortable..." I caressed his head. This person is a Crown Prince. If I can help him unravel a few times, I want to be beside him as a source of support. We soon said our goodbyes as I went on my way to my next ss which happened to be fencing. "Wow...I wonder who that guy is. He has been unbeaten since the beginning of ss." I took off my helmet after finishing up thest round of fencing. "It''s still a bit hot in these things," I said my thoughts out loud. "A girl?" I could not help but notice the loud whispers around me. My opponent hade up to me and taken off his mask. His blonde hair had fallen down and his face revealed to be very delicate and soft, almost like a girl. "That was a rather splendid bout." He held out his hand for me. I shook his hand briefly to be polite. "I could say the same for you..." "My apologies, my name is Hugo Harmon. I am the first son of Count Harmon." I was not very acquainted with speaking with other men. I assumed that not returning his greeting would be rude. "My name is Arielle Ira Maddox. I am the daughter of Duke Maddox It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance," I said. "The pleasure is all mine." I quickly made my way back to the dormitory to take a brief bath. I was d that my fencing sses took ce early in the mornings with my equestrian sses. That way, I can make my way back to the dorms to take a brief bath. I think I did not n my sses ordingly. Almost all of my ssesck another female entity. Females are essential forworking and forming rtionships. For that reason, I took up sewing, flower arrangement, and other art sses on top of my governing and athletic sses. I had already created a steadywork among the females. I thought that I would use it to gather information about His Highness and his rtionships with other females. I may not feel jealousy towards other girls, but that may not be the same for other girls. To protect myself, I have undergone poison training, body conditioning, and spatial recognition training. The one thing I can never figure out is His Highness... It seems that His Highness is not as much of a yboy as I thought. There are practically no suspicious rumors of him wandering around with a beauty in his arms, but he does not really reject women thates near him either. His Highness is either not seeing anyone or is so good at hiding secret rtionships...I think it is thetter. "Why can you just not ept that that His Highness is head over heels for you?" Charlotte asked. "I am a terribly boring person, so I want to at least match his tastes." I started researching up the beauties of this school. He had not been in contact with any one of them ording to rumors... Maybe I am looking at everything wrong. Is His Highness interested in in looking girls or ugly girls? Chapter 4: Reality Chapter 4: Reality [Past Life] Prince Erik and I began enjoying our second year together as a couple in school. We went on multiple dates inside as well as outside of the school. I could only describe our time together as bliss despite the fact that I had not yet found any of his hidden lovers yet. However, reality muste back to our faces. His Highness'' advisor Garett Alvin (reality) came to me before lunch. "Please stop hogging His Highness to yourself," Garett said. "Hogging?" "His Highness refuses to look for concubines and spends all of his time with you." Garett Alvin is the son of one of many Advisors to the King. He has long ck hair tied into a low ponytail wears unfashionablyrge round spectacles. "I only answer to His Highness'' calls. I do not have any right to refuse them. As his Advisor, I believe that any faults in him lies within your jurisdiction." He is a really stingy person. "Let me remind you that you are a receable piece," he said sharply. I began walking past him. "I see that there is no point in speaking to each other any further. A word of advice..." "What is it?" he asked. "A man like yourself should not go out of their way to invite a young engaged woman to a secluded area to talk of such boring things," I said coldly. I went to see His Highness underneath the shade of arge tree afterwards. "You took your time to get here, Ari," Prince Erik said with a smile. "I was held up by trouble," I said as I sat beside Prince Erik over a red pic nket. "Garett?" "Impable guessing." "...He has been bothering me too, asking me seek out more wives." "Heined that I am hogging you to myself too often," I said. "If I were to divide my attention to someone else, I would lose my time with you," he said as he pushed me to the ground and hovered over me. "How about humoring him? It would release some of the scorn he has for me," I said. "Are you telling me to find another wife?" he asked as heid beside me. "...I have no right over controlling your actions. You will be King...I am yours, but you will never be mine," I said. "Why is that?" "I am but a single flower to you. Once you remove my petals, I am no longer beautiful," I said as I Owned by N?velDrama.Org. swept part of his hair over his ears. He rolled over andid his body on top of me. "In other words, you have no faith in me..." Heavy... "I believe that passion does notst forever..." It is not like I did not believe that Prince Erik did not love me after all the time we had been together as lovers. It was just that I could not trust his base instincts as a man and there was his duty to produce multiple heirs to this country. Seeing as how my own mother fell ill upon my birth made me feel uneasy about the future. Even though I trained my body, there was still a factor of uncertainty. Would I be able to bear a child in my state? Would our own child grow without a mother or father? Would Prince Erik have to seek out another woman because of my fears? What value would I have as a woman if I were to not give Prince Erik a child? "...If you need proof, I will show my love," he said as he tugged on my cor. I felt embarrassed as I was with my neck exposed like this, but we were alone and far away from the eyes of others. I felt his tender kisses over my lips and warm hands on my hips and thighs. As children, we were unknown of the ways people sent affection towards one another. Prince Erik was the one who led me in and began with light kisses, but now I feel that they have be more frequent. I do not know if the number of times we kiss is the average among long term couples. All I know is that it has been bad for my heart. He pressed his thumb over my lips and stared into my eyes. "Prince Erik?" I said his name in a dazed manner. "Ari, would you open your pretty lips a bit more?" he asked in a husky voice. My instincts were telling me that the look in Prince Erik''s eyes meant something dangerous. "Eri¨C" He closed off my mouth and gave me a deep kiss. I felt as though I was being swallowed. My breath had been taken away. I began breathing out of my nose and began slowly collecting myself, but it was still difficult with Prince Erik kissing me. The mood between us became rather sensual... I was a bit shocked to find his hands over my bosom. I could not voice myints because of Prince Erik''s lips over mine. I pressed on his chest with the little strength I could muster in my arms. Prince Erik only moved his lips to my neck and corbone. "P...Eri...Erik, wait..." An unfamiliar tingling sensation spread throughout my body. A voice began echoing in the back of my head demanding that Prince Erik to touch me more. I scorned myself a little for my udylike thoughts. A gentle breeze brushed against my legs. Breeze? I looked at my legs and saw that my garter straps were being exposed to the air along with my bare legs and Prince Erik himself was ced between my separated legs. W-When did they get separated? More importantly, my lower half is exposed! "...I want you, Ari," Prince Erik said. I was unaware of what he meant, until I felt my panties being slowly dragged from my body. He wants that? I grabbed his wrist. "E-E-Erik! I''m scared!" I said in a loud voice. Prince Erik halted in his movements. He pulled my skirt back over my legs and hugged me. "I am so sorry for scaring you." I hugged his body and immersed myself in his warmth. How fleeting it is... This warmth may belong to another maiden. In the afternoon, I heard rumors of a new girl who had just transferred in. She was the daughter of a Baron who had extremely rare easterner ck hair and dark brown almost ck eyes. I only heard rumors of her because she seemed to gather the hate of females quite easily from how popr she was with men and refused to acquaint herself with other women. On my way to ss, I happened upon her while she was being scolded by a group of girls. "The teacher will being around soon. It is best that you lot get on with your day," I told them. "You helped me?" She used such a rude way to address me, but I let her go since I doubted that I would see her again. "My name is Arielle Ira Maddox." "Why would you, of all people, help me?" Instead of being grateful, she continued on with her questioning. Ah, I see... She did not want to be saved. "Don''t mistake this as kindness. I just did not like the way they were disciplining their peers," I said. A group of men cameing our way. She was waiting to be saved by a group of men... "Is she bothering you in any way, Lady Arielle Maddox?" one of them asked with a re in their eyes. Beside her was a follower of the Church Sect Gavin Lord, my cousin Randall Maddox, and the son of a high ranked official Channing Wells. Surrounded by powerful people, I see... The one who asked me that with a nasty re was the son of a Knight, Dolton Grass. From their eyes, I am the same as those other girls. Even if there was a misunderstanding, that Knight in training should not be allowed to view me with contempt. I shot him a fiercer re back. After seeing him flinch from the re of a little girl, I loosened my stare. "No, I was just passing by," I said as I began walking on my way to ss. Normally, Randall would be emunicated from the family for opposing someone from the main branch for his disrespect towards me. I decided to let him go as a sign of mercy. She seemed like trouble, so I decided to stay away from her. She will be fine if she has those guard dogs around her. Chapter 5: Upsetting Girl Chapter 5: Upsetting Girl [Past Life] It was about a month in of her transfer that I heard about her again. "Lady Arielle, that Lady Kaya is up to no good," a female ssmate told me. "Yes? Remind me again...Who is Lady Kaya?" I asked. I had never heard of such a foreign name before. "Arielle, she is the transfer student with ck hair and eyes that everyone is talking about," Charlotte exined. "She is a Baron''s daughter but kept her mother''sst name, so she goes by the name Kaya Ouchi." Normally, an heiress would have changed theirst name... She was that girl who only surrounded herself with handsome men, so she was already strange to begin with. "Ah, I remember now." "Have you spoken to her?" Charlotte asked. "Only once," I answered her. "Why did you even mention Lady Kaya?" "She is following His Highness Prince Erik around a lottely," the ssmate told me. "Maybe she wants to add him to her harem?" I guessed. "Arielle, be a bit more serious about this," Charlotteined to me. My fianc¨¦ aside, she is rather a power-hungry youngdy. "I will ask him about it at lunch," I told Charlotte. Prince Erik and I sat outside underneath a tree again for lunch. I asked for Prince Erik to not prepare anything so that I could make some sandwiches for the two of us. "They are beautiful!" Prince Erik praised. "Goodness...They are rather average." "They are also delicious," he said after he took a bite. I could not help but feel a smile on my face. "I am d." It was worth getting up early in the morning. "That face was a bit too cute," he said as he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I felt my face be flushed. "Ah! I almost forgot to ask. What do you think of Lady Kaya Ouchi?" I brought up abruptly. "Hm? That girl?" He knows of her? "Yes." "I have seen her speaking casually with various men before." Prince Erik looked rather annoyed while he was speaking of her. "Has she approached you?" "The thing is..." "What a surprise seeing you here, Prince Erik!" a high-pitched voice chimed in. The voice belonged to Kaya Ouchi. "What a surprise seeing you here, Prince Erik!" a high-pitched voice chimed in. Prince Erik likes to fool around a lot, so we had chosen somewhere very far from the sses and the eyes of other people using privatend to have our lunches. He practically designated this area as his private area and has only allowed few including myself to enter. Everyone else should know this ce is restricted area. Did he invite her? "You must be the new girl who transferred here," he started with his usual polite tone. "I''m d that you remembered me! Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked. She is really asking that? "Of course," Prince Erik said with a smile. My heart felt like sinking. "We were just leaving anyways." Prince Erik had picked up the basket of sandwiches and taken my hand. She looked rather baffled as we left her. I gave a sigh of relief. He is not interested in her... My heart is heavy for some reason. It was the first time I saw a female being so upfront with Prince Erik that it left me feeling perplexed. "How rude of that girl," Prince Erik said. "I will get more guards around this ce. Until then, I will take the rest of these sandwiches." "You are going to take them?" "Of course! It is the first time that you have ever made anything for me." I saw Lady Kaya againter in the afternoon while I was sitting waiting for Charlotte to finish her lessons with a book and some tea. "Greetings, Arielle," Lady Kaya said. I ignored her disrespectful way of addressing me. "Greetings, Lady Kaya." "I wanted to talk to you," Lady Kaya said as she sat down before getting my permission to. She poured herself some tea, using the cup I had prepared beforehand for Charlotte. "What is it?" I said as I was losing my patience. She took a sip of the cup and exhaled without any sign of grace. "Give him to me," she ordered with an innocent smile. "Excuse me?" I said as I rested my teacup down. Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. "Give me your fianc¨¦...I love him." She loves him? They have only known about each other for a month. "His Highness is a member of the Royal Family. I do not own him. If anyone, you should be asking for his permission. That is, if your seduction techniques work on him, you could be one of his concubines," I said coldly. "I do not want to be a concubine. I want to be his official wife." Asking for that position is also another way of dering war on me. She wants to be a Queen. Marriage is equivalent to politics. This girl offers nothing to him, yet she acts as if she has some definitive that allows her to be together with Prince Erik. "Why go through the trouble of asking me?" I inquired her. "I do not like the thought of sharing my husband." Monogamy? Does she believe Prince Erik will love her enough to choose monogamy over a politically advantageous polygamous marriage? This woman sure has confidence... "I cannot give you what you are looking for." It is really up to Prince Erik who he chooses to bed even if that person is not me. "You refuse to cooperate with me then?" "I will offer no support, nor will I stand in your way." "You are so cold. I bet you haven''t given yourself to him yet." How dare she ask that! This girl is beyond crude and unruly. "I have no reason to tell you anything..." "You have not! Poor Prince Erik. I guess you won''t mind me using my entire self to seduce him then?" I kept silent as she left. The tea that I had poured for myself had grown cold along with the rest of my body. She is going to use her body, huh? I was not an idiot. I understood how Prince Erik kept advancing on me because he wanted my body. He held back because I was scared. It will not be long until he gets tired of me and gets what he wants from someone else. What kind of man would refuse? Charlotte showed up a few minutester after Lady Kaya left. "Sorry, I amte..." I touched my face and saw that I was leaking from my eyes. "I am sorry, but I have to leave," I said as I ran away. "Arielle!" The thought that he might do the same things he does with another girl upsets me... I went to the library to rx. I had checked out a story book and had situated myself on the floor in one of the furthest most back aisles. Coincidentally, Garett was sitting on the other side of one bookshelf aisle. "Are you checking up on me?" I asked him. "I was here first," he replied curtly. "I refuse to leave from this spot," I said sternly. I was not in the mood to spare his feelings. "I will return those words back to you..." "Fine then..." I had opened my book and began reading by myself. Garett was quiet as well, so I assumed that he just went back to doing whatever he was doing before. Out of curiosity, I peeked over to my side and saw his shape also leaning against the wall. After I met Prince Erik, I became acquainted with Garett because our fathers. We would often hang out together in my family''s library and read books to ourselves in silence. This situation reminds me of back then. Only this time, there is an awkward distance between us. He used to be much kinder to me. I think it was when he found out that I was engaged to Prince Erik that he began to treat me coldly... "You are not with His Highness?" Garett asked. I was slightly surprised because he was the one to break the silence and because he spoke to me without his usual nasty tone. "Must I always remind you about speaking casually to a betrothed younger woman alone?" Ah, my tone be harsh from habit... He clicked his tongue. "It was a simple question. I would hardly call a library where students are always roaming about alone....It is not as if I apany him at all times. I would have no freedom if I did so." He likes to spend his free time in the library just like back then. I suppose the reason as to why I feel so rxed in a library is probably because being here reminds me of those days with him. "Ah, I understand now...The same is with me. I have freedom for now, so I would like to use it." "When you be a Queen, that will also be the end of your freedom," he said curtly. That is the cold hard truth. "Have you ever fell in love with someone before?" "I have..." I felt my eyes widen. "I was not expecting that answer toe from you." "...What do you view me as?" "A cold-hearted tycoon with an evil eye," I replied. "...Despite your appearance, you say some rather savage things." "Your harsh words go well with your looks..." "You..." "Is she ady that I know of?" I can only imagine Garett liking someone like himself. I tried imagining a female version of Garett and felt a shiver down my spine. "She is someone who ispletely out of my reach...someone who belongs to another man." Garett suffers from an unrequited love? I never thought that I would hear about something so bittersweet from him. "A married woman?" "She will be...She is betrothed." "Have your feelings for her changed ever since she became betrothed?" "If anything, they have only gotten stronger. It''s troublesome having feelings towards a person that only knows how to bring trouble." "What does it feel like to be in love?" "It''s a deeply painful thing. Your heart receives a sense of joy when you see them, and when you don''t, you feel like dying. Just seeing them makes you want to do everything for them," Garett exined. "It''s a sickness." This man equates love to a disease... "I have only ever known about my engagement and a few men in my entire life. As for whether I am truly in love, I do not know about such things." "The reason that you are telling me such things...Are you asking for me to take you away?" I felt my heart leap out of my chest. "That''s a distasteful joke." "Yeah, a joke." "As expected..." "Who would ever want such a troublesome woman like you?" "You still fell in love with a troublesome woman," I said. "How do you hide such a troublesome love if it is a sickness?" "...I act as though I hate her in order to not let her find out my true feelings for her." My ears suddenly perked up. "What do you mean..." I quickly got up and tried walking to the next aisle. A window was open from where Garett had sat. Garett was gone like the wind. He sure does know how to escape fast... I approached the window and found a piece of paper being held down by a small rock. I picked up the rock and paper. I turned over the paper and found a doodle of a miniature Garett sticking out his tongue at me. "Is this a new form of harassment?" I said as I angrily threw the rock out of the window with all my might. Instead of crumpling up the sheet, I folded the sheet of paper into a bird and flew it out of the window. Goodbye to the only other person that was able to move my heart... If I was not engaged, surely, I would have wanted to fall for you. Chapter 6: Love No One Chapter 6: Love No One [Past Life] I decided to wander around the school by myself for my next art project. Charlotte was away due to her club activities, and I did not like forcing myself to associate with other when Charlotte is not around. I thought that I would explore the school instead. If anyone is going to explore the school, the higher the scenery the better it is. I used a hairpin of mine to unlock the door up to the clocktower. Students are not allowed up this far due to safety reasons, but I should be fine if I am caught since I am Prince Erik''s fianc¨¦e. With this excuse, I can nearly avoid any kind of punishment. The ledge seemed fairly safe from the size of it being around forty centimeters in width and there being another ledge below for if I were to fall off. I easily climbed upwards and rested myself along with my feet up onto the ledge. A cold breeze swept through my hair softly. I should have brought a shawl for myself...I might get a cold from staying up here. I saw a familiar person walking below in the garden. It was His Highness walking alone. I thought about calling out to him, but then Lady Kaya had appeared walking beside His Highness alone. She clung to his sleeve from behind. His Highness did not seem to refuse her either. I am aware that he should not brush off other girls so easily for political reasons, but why is seeing such a thing unbearable? My heart stung as I watched them be friendly. I met up with His Highness for lunch in a study room. "Lady Kaya is not as bad as I thought," he said suddenly. "She appears frivolous at a nce. That is only because she is naive. I hated her at first, but then I found out that she is easy to talk to and she knows various things. If you talk to her, you will understand too." While he was talking about her, I could only beg for him to stop countless times within my mind. I felt sick about how smart that woman was at using her assets to charm Prince Erik so easily. It is because of my pride that I cannot do the same. "I apologize...I must get going," I said as I got up. Hearing himpliment another woman had brought me pains within my stomach. It did not go away even after I went to bed in the night. I ended up not sleeping a wink. Before I knew it, I had equestrian sses in the morning already. ss had just started, yet I was already wiping sweat from my forehead. Today''s morning rays are a bit intense today. Part way through riding on my horse, my vision became dazed. "Lady Arielle, there is an obstacle over there!" someone had yelled. I immediately yanked at the reins. I was unable to avoid the obstacle in my course and had flew off from my horse. Later, I had woken up within the school infirmary. "How are you feeling?" Garett asked. His thick sses contained a re from the sun that caused his eyes to be hidden. Even so, I could tell that he was worried about me. "Did you help me?" I asked him. "You just happened to be on my path." Liar... You were desperately chasing after me. "I see." "You are so troublesome." His mouth is so rude even when I am in pain. "I apologize for you to have to go out of your way for a troublemaker like me..." I said as I sat up. "Why did you get on a horse if you were unwell?" "I wanted to get my mind off of things..." "I assume that it has to do with Prince Erik then?" Nothing escapes him... "...It bothers me how Lady Kaya and he have gotten close." "...Just because of a little jealousy?" "Jealousy? Me?" "I would not know what to call it if it were not so." "Ah, this is jealousy...I never knew until now." I was always a cold woman by heart. I never felt jealousy before because I lived afortable life where there was no need for me to feel jealous of anyone until now. Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org. "It is painful for you, isn''t it?" Garett asked as he inches closer to me. "Excuse me?" "Your fianc¨¦ must show a face befitting of his title. He will marry women aside from you...When he gets tired of your looks, or while you are bearing his child, he will go to another woman. Can you stand the bitter loneliness when that happens?" My heart felt like tearing itself apart from his cruel words. "...That is the duty of¨C" "He will treat other women the same way as he treats you," Garett said. I felt like exploding with anger. I threw my pillow at Garett''s face. "Shut up! I do not want to hear it! Who are you to judge me and tell me that my love with Erik will not make me happy? I have always lived for my duty...I thought that I was fine with just that. Then, I eventually came to like him. I am literally watching my own fianc¨¦ being swept away in front of my own eyes. All because of that woman, I am feeling so many different emotions that it is sickening. I hate it all!" "If you are being pressured to the point that it is driving you mad...how about marrying me?" My heart calmed down immediately. "What are you saying? I am engaged. Also, you are in love with another woman..." "I am in love with an engaged woman...Have you never wondered who that was?" "Pardon?" "It seems that you are really this dense..." "You are always mean to me and every other woman I know, so how am I supposed to know who it could be?" "I have always been in love with you." My heart sunk. I am the object of his affection? This does not make sense. If it is true...for how long? No matter what, I can never return his feelings...I am the fianc¨¦e of Prince Erik and the future Queen of this nation. Furthermore, I already gave up my feelings for this person... "...E-Even if this love will only bring me unhappiness, I will not leave Prince Erik." "Do you really love him?" "...I..." I felt Garett''s face inching towards me. "You cannot provide a clear and immediate answer...I am telling you that your love is artificial. You are blinded by your duty and fool yourself into believing that what you are feeling is true. The only moment you really felt connected is only with me." Garett grabbed my wrist and pressed me against the wall. He turned his head slightly as he approached me with slightly parted lips. He was close enough for me to smell him. He smelled of fresh pines. This pressure on my wrist the toughness of his skin. I became aware that this person was also a man... I do not exactly hate Garett. Rather, he was also a person I held in my heart. If I let him kiss me, will things change? Can I stop feeling miserable for myself? No, I cannot forgive myself from achieving happiness by myself even if this is the easier road...No matter how much I will suffer in the future, my feelings for Prince Erik are not this weak. "...I am going to be with Prince Erik. That is my final answer," I said firmly. Garett had backed away from me. "You are a stupid woman. It cannot be helped if you are in love with him," he said as he stood up. "It is best to be honest with Prince Erik as you are with me...Saying that I like you was a lie." Was it really a lie? Prince Erik had shown up in the infirmary about twenty minutes after Garett left. This time, he was with Lady Kaya again. "Your Highness...Lady Kaya..." "She seems fine, how about we go somewhere, Your Highness?" Lady Kaya said as she reached for His Highness'' arm. He quickly brushed her aside and went to my side. "I heard that you fell off from your horse," he started as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you alright, Arielle?" "Y-Yes..." His Highness tapped his forehead against mine. "I am d that you are fine. I don''t know what I would do if something happened to you." My heart soared from just this small act. The bell for sses had rung. "Prince Erik, it is time to get going to your next ss," Lady Kaya intervened. "You are right," he said as he began to get up. I pulled on Prince Erik''s sleeve. "Arielle?" I kissed him abruptly. Since it was my first time initiating, I identally bumped into his teeth. It was too "I love you, Prince Erik!" I said abruptly. "Arielle?" "I do not need a monogamous marriage or anything like that. All I want is to be by your side...Please just don''t throw me away." Prince Erik wrapped his arm around my waist. "You can go away now. You have served your purpose in making my lovely fianc¨¦e jealous." "Huh?" Lady Kaya and I said in unison. "My Ari usually only shows her true emotions only at critical moments. She got splendidly jealous and showed her emotions through her actions just now. I was right...You are the only person for me and only me," Prince Erik said as he brought me closer to his embrace. "You are the only one who can be my wife. Anyone else is no good." What a crazy man...He did all this to get me jealous. I felt him pushing me down onto the bed. He began kissing my ears over and over again. "P-Prince Erik!" I cried. Lady Kaya is still here! He paid her no mind and began licking and biting my ears. My body began gathering heat as Prince Erik continued pressing his body against mine. His lips were soon back on my lips and pressing down on me strongly. I felt my strength leaving my body rather quickly. It seemed like forever before Prince Erik parted from my lips. "You are still here?" Prince Erik asked Lady Kaya. She had fallen to her knees from the sight of us kissing. For someone who has several men waiting hand and foot on her, she is rather innocent. "You are supposed to be with me...I am the Heroine," Lady Kaya said. Heroine? She is delusional. "My heart only has room enough for Arielle. Now, leave..." Lady Kaya got up and ran outside. "You are a cruel person...How could you use another person to just get to see your fianc¨¦e jealous?" "I thought you did not love me enough. You kept on saying that you were fine with having me look at other girls. It made me think that you did not love me or just did not care about me. Every single time you talk to another male, I suffer through so much jealousy that I almost want to kill every male that also want to keep me to yourself?" "I do...I want you to only look at me and love only me." Weter hugged each other to sleep. I woke up muchter to see that Prince Erik was still lying beside me with his eyes closed. His face was so close to mine, so I thought about touching his eyshes and his soft lips again with my fingers. "Do you want more love, Ari?" he asked as he pulled me onto his chest. "That is not it...I feel like I do not get to see your face often." Prince Erik held me in his arms and rolled to his side. "Look as much as you want." A familiar scent wafted in my nose. "You smell like pines..." "Really?" "Just like Garett..." I identally blurted. Prince Erik flinched slightly. As I thought, it is bad to be talking about another man in this situation. "Forgive me for talking about another man while I am in your arms." "N-No...You can talk about whatever you want." "I just wonder why you two smell so alike...Are you cheating on me?" "Garett is a guy!" "He is unexpectedly beautiful under his sses...He looks a lot like you." "That is to be expected. Garett is my cousin...Coincidentally, we look simr enough to be twins." "I never heard of that," I said as I grabbed his cor. He is flustered... "I''m sorry..." "You have some rather distasteful hobbies and always flirt around with your good looks and are insensitive towards me when I tell you to stop. If you were not a Prince, I would have chopped off your seed canon," I said irately. "My dear fianc¨¦e, please do not say such scary things with your lovely face..." "I only hope that our child does not be twisted like you." "Our child, huh?" Prince Erik said as he touched my stomach. My body flinched slightly. "What are you..." "I think it would be nice if there was another person with your genes running around, but the thought of having my time with you being shortened because of someone else makes me have mixed feelings." My face felt flushed. ...To be jealous of your own child, how petty can you be? "You are going to be King one day...You should not be so selfish." He pulled my waist towards him and squeezed me tightly. "I have not nearly had enough taste of you yet...How could I not be?" If I knew that you would die because of me, I should have let you go then... Chapter 7: Rebirth Chapter 7: Rebirth My chest hurts... My throat burns... Why is the afterlife painful? Painful? I opened my eyes to a familiar ceiling. My body was sluggish as I forced myself upwards. The surroundings were of my old bedroom. Did I fail in my suicide attempt ande home? I rubbed my head slightly. Hm? My hands were noticeably tiny. Whose body is this? My childhood Maid and caretaker Ste had juste into my room. I was terribly confused. Ste? She had left when she was of suitable age to marry. "My Lady, have you awoken from your fever?" "Fever..." I had been resting from a fever? "Arielle!" a woman with a busty figure said as she approached me. "You have finally awoken." My mother had appeared in the room as well. My mother? She was supposed to have died when I was young. Everything is wrong. I am seeing all the people that I want to see again. This is not the afterlife...This is hell, a sweet hell that can only be considered a dream. "What year is it?" I asked Ste as I grabbed her hands. I am a child... I waited a bit beforeing to any conclusions. Major events that I should not know about had happened and I was able to urately connect them with what seemed like my first life. This might be considered a time leap or something along those lines. Whatever this is, it is a blessing in disguise. I saved my mother with future knowledge. Since I knew the conditions needed to save her, the rest was easy. I wanted to see Prince Erik but waited for a few years for our official meeting. That day, I wandered into the Royal Garden where I knew that I was not allowed and ran into my younger husband who was now a child and still a Prince. My heart swelled with joy. He was alive and well. Everything that happened before seems like a dream...This is reality. I have to make him dislike me and lose my position as his fianc¨¦e. Kaya Ouchi''s trigger was her jealousy towards me. It was not like she loved or hated Erik. She hated me and wanted the position of being Queen. I will leave the seat empty, but she will never have it if I have anything to say about it. There is the possibility that Erik will get hurt in trying to protect me a second time, so I will aim to do everything to make Erik stay away from me if that is what it takes. "I hate¨C" For now, let me protect you from myself... "I hate you," I started. That was maybe too strong of a greeting... "Hah?" "You will never be the object of my affection. I would rather be amoner than marry you to satisfy our families. Along with me, there will never be a woman who will ever truly love you," I said cruelly. I believe that these words are simr to what he told me. If I tell him this, he could possibly break off the engagement, kill me, or even just refuse to see me entirely. This is a political marriage, and I am of a high-born family, so the engagement may not easily be broken off. I do not expect to be hanged either. I just expect that Prince Erik will refuse to see me until our wedding day or break up our engagement. He grabbed my strawberry blonde colored hair in anger. "How dare you speak to me like that!" he screamed me. "Hehe..." It is all going so easily. I smiled as I pushed on his chest. He released my hair and I acted as though I was pushed into the water. "That''s what you get for crossing me." I grinned widely. This is not enough to make you hate me. "Erik!" my father called to me. Right on cue, Your Majesty. I heard rumors of Prince Erik receiving a severe scolding from His Majesty awhile after I left. We received a letter that Prince Erik was going toe here. As I thought, I could not avoid this crucial event either... Prince Erik arrived with his usual guards and had a very stern look on his face. I do not suppose he is here for pleasantries. I guess he is here to exile me. I gave a hug to my father and mother before walking towards Prince Erik with a resolute face. "I will miss you all," I told my family. My parents were in tears from sending me off. "I''m ready," I said. "Ready? For what?" "My exile." He seemed flustered. "...N-No, that is not what I am here for," he replied. I felt my face contort. Not an exile? An execution then for saying such things to a Prince? "I see...Your Highness had received permission to have my head," I said sadly. "I would not like your head," he said quietly. Then, my neck? What a ssic way to get rid of someone... "Understood, Your Highness," I said as I walked up a flight of stairs and tied a rope on the railing. I had a feeling that I would need this, so I hid it underneath the carpet. "What did you understand!" I halted for a moment. "You would like a cleaner death? I thought you would want my neck instead." "What kind of psychotic person woulde to such a conclusion? I want neither of those things." What did hee here for? No, if it is him... Surely, this is the most used way to get rid of a high ranked Noble! Poison! "I see...As I thought, a quick death is not allowed. Poison was the way to go." "Do you really want to kill yourself so badly?" "I would prefer not to..." "I feel the same way." "Is this not what you desired?" "I am not here to exile you or take your life... I would like to know you better! Is that so wrong of your fianc¨¦ to want such a thing?" he shouted. I suddenly felt flushed. Ah, I am no good...When my husband is in his younger self and acting embarrassed, I feel my feelings wavering. I called over some of my maids to prepare some tea for us after that fiasco. As expected, my parents were a bit worried about leaving us alone. It cannot be helped since they thought Prince Erik was going to exile me. Looking at Prince Erik again... He is beautiful even at this age. Such smooth skin... Pink lips... And that nasty mean glint in his eyes... I actually am a part of that fraction of girls that like to be slightly abused and spoken harshly to by someone we love. The days when we were children were certainly the best. Since it was an unseemly fetish, I tried to hide it throughout the time we were sweethearts up until we got married and began further indulging in the married life. He found out about my fetishester in our marriage and began teasing me gently. He was so cute... An awkward silence swept between us as we continued drinking tea together. Ugh... I was lost in my thoughts of remembering such things that I forgot he was sitting across from me. "Your Highness?" "Just call me Erik." Using his name so easily? I had called it various times before... It just has a nostalgic ring to it after being reborn a few years ago. "...Then, Prince Erik?" Just saying his name makes my heart tremble. "That''s fine." "I was under the impression that you were not fond of me from ourst meeting," I started. "I was curious about your actions. Why did such a thing happen? It seems that I was the one who incurred your wrath. I believe that was our first meeting?" "It is not the first for me..." I tried chilling down my heart. "...What do you mean by that?" I lowered her head. "Prince Erik, I ask that you please be the one to break off our engagement. It is best we end our rtionship here." We were not officially engaged and not many people know of this arrangement. Even if we break it off or just decide not to go public with our rtionship, neither of our family reputations will plummet. When we enter the Royal Academy, I will have to bully Kaya Ouchi or make it so that she falls into submission and does not pursue a selfish romance. Depending on my actions, I could be seen as a viiness or a hero to the other Nobles. If I mess things up, I could just be furthering Kaya Ouchi into Prince Erik''s arms. This is why I need to put some distance between us in the beginning, so that he will not have any reason to help her. There are just too many uncertainties. ...This is the easiest way for us to be happy. "Why is that?" I was not expecting a question... "For us, there is no such thing as a good ending," I said as I raised my head. "Why? How can you say that with true certainty?" I clenched my fist over my chest to contain myself. It was no use. My tears fell down my face. "Please excuse me!" I said as I began running right away. My feelings, my memories, and everything is all getting in the way. There is no way that I can avoid you. Getting deeply involved with you is what sets Kaya Ouchi off. As I am now, I cannot protect you or myself. The one who opposes your happiness the most is me after all... I ran across my family bridge. Before I knew it, Prince Erik was already chasing me from behind. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. "Why?" he asked with a pained expression. I tried getting him to loosen his grip over my hand. "Please let me go..." I begged. "No, why are you crying?" he pestered. "Just let me be!" I screamed at him. "When you are crying like that, how can I? Stupid woman!" My heart was racing so fast that I forgot to even think. I broke down and approached Prince Erik with my hands. I regained myself halfway through and pushed Prince Erik away and turned myself in the other direction. That was close! Prince Erik trained me so well that it is almost scary how subservient I am to him. I soon heard a sshing sounding from below me. When I turned around, I saw how empty it was behind me. "Oh, my god..." I looked over the side and saw my fianc¨¦ struggling against the water. At this age, he had yet to learn how to swim yet. What am I doing? I am killing my own fianc¨¦ before even Kaya Ouchi is able to! I quickly took off my outer dress and dove in the water to save Prince Erik. With my strength, it was a bit difficult trying to save him. Thankfully, he was fully out cold. I do not know what I would do if he would try to drown me along with him. If he killed me, he would still also die, and everything would be over. I quickly performed chestpressions and mouth to mouth resuscitation on Prince Erik after tilting his head back and opening his airway. My efforts, my love, my everything... you can have everything! Just do not take Erik everything away from me a second time! He coughed up a bit of water on his side and was then breathing again. Thank goodness he is just sleeping now... I covered my face with my hands in an attempt to calm myself. I will do things right this time...for Erik... "Ugh..." Erik turned to his side and coughed up more water. "Erik!" I cried as I went to him. He looked at me with widened eyes. "Just now...you called me?" I quickly stepped back. "I deeply apologize, Your Highness...I should have never gotten involved with you," I said before running to my room. When I meet Prince Erik, I get all weird... It is best that I avoid himpletely. Within a few days, I received multiple visits from Prince Erik. I refused all of them by asking my servants to tell him that I was ill. As stubborn as he was, he did not give up easily. He kept on insisting to visit me to the point where he was willing to wear a full-face mask if that is what it took to see me. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . This went on until the day of his leaving to study abroad. Chapter 8: My Fianc茅e Is Strange [Young Erik] Chapter 8: My Fianc¨¦e Is Strange [Young Erik] [Young Erik''s perspective] Daughter of a Duke... Manners and etiquette befitting of a Noble... Kind... Bright... Brilliant... Beautiful... I have grown up listening to such things about a person I have never met before. Far from loving her, I have only grown to scorn her for easily receiving my father''s affection that I had never received before. The witch...I wish she was never born. That person is my fianc¨¦e. When she walked in, I knew right away that it was her. Today is the day I have been dreading. For the first time, we shall meet in the Royal Garden where usually only royalty is allowed to enter. Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. Wearing pure white clothes with navy blue ribbons, having strawberry blonde hair, and a white beret was a doll like girl one year younger than me. Even though I am royalty, I know that I should be careful with my words, but this unsettling feeling just won''t go away. When she gets into a good distance from me, I am going to tell her... I hate you... You will never be the object of my affection. I will marry you to satisfy our families, but I will never love you. Perfect for a wench like her. "I hate¨C" "I hate you," she started. Huh...this is strange. For someone to always be fawned over to receive such a strong greeting? "Hah?" "You will never be the object of my affection. I would rather be amoner than marry you to satisfy our families. Along with me, there will never be a woman who will ever truly love you." I grabbed her strawberry blonde hair. "How dare you speak to me like that!" I screamed at her as I began pulling at her hair. How dare she speak to me like that! Only I have the right to speak like that to her. With those words and those expressions, it is as if she is mocking me! "Hehe..." This girl dareughs at me as well? She smiled as she pushed on my chest. I released her and she fell into the fountain of her own will. I looked down upon her sorry state. "That''s what you get for crossing me..." Instead of weeping, she only grinned widely. "Erik!" my father called to me. My father was standing beside this girl''s father. What is he doing here? My father should be in a meeting with his officials. His face had scrunched up unbelievably with a very scary frown. He is scary. I suddenly felt my body break out in cold sweats. "F-Father..." "How dare you treat Miss Arielle like that!" he said in a voice I had never heard before. I was happy that he was finally paying attention to me, but not this way. "...Y-You are mistaken. She fell down herself." "Your Majesty! All fault lies with me," the girl said as she climbed out of the fountain and kneeled before my father. "Prince Erik was displeased with me, so he did such a thing. I only deserve this as punishment." She is the one who threw herself into the fountain! "No, it is my fault, Child. It was my fault in not teaching him in having proper manners towards women. I apologize for his rudeness towards you." Prime Minister Maddox went over to his daughter and ced his coat over her. No! Don''t apologize to her. "Erik, don''t you have something to say?" Father asked in my direction. "I have done nothing wrong," I protested. Smack! Father had pped me across my face. It was the first time in a while that he had ever pped me. "My apologies, Miss Arielle, for showing you such a scene. Prime Minister Maddox, would you please help her inside. I will have a servant get you some new clothes." Prime Minister Maddox and his daughter went inside following a couple of servants. "F-Fa..." "Erik, you shall apologize to herter." "It is her fault! How dare she be so abrasive with her words!" "What did she say?" "She said..." I was nning on telling her the same exact words. However, it''s not worth repeating. If I tell Father about it, he will think of me as a petty person for pushing that girl into the fountain even if she fell in by herself. I was also the first to make a move by grabbing her hair... "Erik?" "I cannot say." "...I will not press any further. Do write an apology up for her," he said as he turned his back to me. I could only clench my fists in retaliation. Why does my fianc¨¦e dislike me so much? I have all of the reason to hate her, but my perfect self? She said some rude words, threw herself into the fountain, and made a fool of me in front of my father and now I am made to write a letter for this incorrigible girl. I had known about her for a long time. I disliked the thought of marrying a person I had never met before, so I asked one of my servants to look her up. He only delivered me useless information about her likes and dislikes of food. I was also informed about her looks as I heard that she had unique strawberry blonde hair only found in her bloodline. I took the chance to see her from afar at a party at the castle. As expected, she was a beautiful girl that resembled her mother. She moved and spoke perfectly to those around her like a marite. Disgusting...how perfect this person was. I always had the impression that she was of a cold machine from how emotionless she usually was from afar at parties. It never urred to me that the first time I would ever see her smile would be in that situation where she made me look like a fool... It was humiliating! I don''t know why I would think about her so much! It''s all because of this letter! Before I knew it, I had already crumpled up the letter and thrown it across the room. I went back to writing the apology letter in a way that she would never be able to find fault with. In the end, I spent five hours writing a letter. I apud myself for writing the best letter that I could write. With this, she will fall for me! Wait a minute... I grabbed my head and shook it ferociously. Why do I want her to fall for me? She said such horrible things about me and about women never being able to love me. I just want to prove her wrong! After confirming my new goal, I made some slight adjustments to my letter. On top of my letter, I decided to hand deliver it. I gave my father the simple excuse of a true man would deliver his apologies in person. He epted it quite easily and even seemed quite happy. I had never seen him frown so less before. I went to her home after informing her father a few days ahead of time. While waiting, I felt excited about actually seeing her. It was a strange feeling. I was no longer displeased with her, rather I wanted to know more about her and the reason behind her cold words. I disliked her for easily gaining the affection of those around her. For her, I wonder what the ticking point was... I saw her at her home wearing a light pink dress and her strawberry-colored hair down. When I was hating her, I was unable to see her true beauty. She was definitely cute. For some reason, she gave a hug to her father before walking towards me with a resolute face. Prime Minister Maddox and his wife were in tears from sending her off. "I''m ready," she said. "Ready? For what?" "My exile." Exile? Did she think I was here to exile her? "...N-No, that is not what I am here for," I said awkwardly. Her face only contorted even further. "I see...Your Highness had received permission to have my head." For such a thing, to have her head? My father has never put someone to death just because someone was not fond of him. "I would not like your head." "Understood, Your Highness," she said as she walked up a flight of stairs and tied a rope on the railing. "What did you understand!" She halted for a moment. "You would like a cleaner death?" she asked questionably. "I thought you would want my neck instead." "What kind of neurotic person woulde to such a conclusion? I want neither of those things," I answered her. "I see...As I thought, a quick death is not allowed. Poison was the way to go." ...Why is this person so suicidal? "Do you really want to kill yourself so badly?" "I would prefer not to..." "I feel the same way." "Is this not what you desired?" Ah, I have never been so irritated before! "I am not here to exile you or take your life...I would like to know you better! Is that so wrong of your fianc¨¦ to want such a thing?" I shouted. I suddenly felt embarrassed by raising my voice in front of the others. We had tea alone together in the garden after that fiasco. An awkward silence swept between us as we began drinking tea together. "Your Highness?" "Just call me Erik." She seemed reluctant to use my name. Was it that awful sounding? "...Then, Prince Erik?" I felt a little delight from her calling my name. Actually, her voice is so pretty when calling my name... "That''s fine." "I was under the impression that you were not fond of me from ourst meeting," she started. "I was curious about your actions. Why did such a thing happen? It seems that I was the one who incurred your wrath. I believe that was our first meeting?" "It is not the first for me..." "...What do you mean by that?" She lowered her head. "Prince Erik, I ask that you please be the one to break off our engagement. It is best we end our rtionship here." I felt my heart sink for some reason. This is what I wanted, but why is this so easy and why do I not want it not to end? "Why is that?" I felt furious from what she said to me, but I never truly felt hatred towards her. What I thought was hatred towards her was actually just the thought of having my fate decided by another person. She must feel the same way...unable to fall in love with another person, maintaining a certain image because of our families, and one day marrying only to further our families'' ambitions. When she showed me a shred of her true feelings, I finally felt that she was not really a perfect being...she was actually human. "For us, there is no such thing as a good ending," she said as she raised her head. Her eyes were sincere and much different to her conniving face from before. I refuse to believe that. "Why?" I asked her strongly. "How can you say that with true certainty?" I asked. She seemed even more reluctant to answer. She clenched her fist over her chest as tears began running down her face. "Please excuse me!" she said as she abruptly got up and started running away. Why did she cry? I soon heard a buzzing sound in my head. A surging pain went forth throughout my head. It hurts! "Go after her," a voice said. Before my mind could catch up, I was already running towards her. Chapter 9: Librarian Chapter 9: Librarian I went to bing a Librarian in the neighboring kingdom Nariel. Librarians are positions reserved for Nobles. In my first life, I was brushing up on my skills in sewing and the arts andpulsory lessons. I easily finished everything since it was more like review. Now, I am free to do anything I want at the age of eleven. Thergest library around is in a neighboring country which also happens to be the ce that Prince Erik has gone to in order to continue his studies. Luckily, there is an open position for me when I applied. I used the excuse of studying another country abroad to coax my parents in allowing me to leave. All I have to do is continue my personal studies while I am doing my duties as a Librarian and then use my free time surrounding myself with books. Nariel is arge bordering country famous for the arts and studies towards ancient studies which includes the most famous Asmaria civilization that was onceid beneath it. During excavations, the people of Nariel discovered long lost documents of this civilization. Asmaria was once hailed as the strongest and most influential nations that existed roughly a thousand years ago. Rumor has it that they were able to able to move coaches without the use of animals and theirplex water system was use as a model for the water sewage system for the Nariel Kingdom. In my first life, I had taken a few minor studies on Asmaria Kingdom including learning about the back then, it was rare for people to fully decipher let alone speak it. Apparently, people of my bloodline were the first and only people that held records on how to decipher thenguage. These records are taught to only a select few of the Maddox n when they are of suitable age. It was not untilter in my generation and after I was married that the records were released into the world. As for why it was released only until muchter in time is something I do not know why. I specte that it might have to do with the rumors of the Maddox Family being the true heirs to the throne or whatnot. As for the current number of people that know of thenguage, the number is very few. If anyone were to find out about my knowledge, or the possibility that I may be a true heir to the throne, I may really have to face against this country or Erik himself... In either case, I should be careful in not letting my tongue slip. I met with my aunt from my mother''s side in the capital of Nariel. I had not seen her since she had gotten married a few years back. She was just as beautiful as ever with her rosy pink hair and beautiful bright orange-colored eyes. "Arielle!" she said as she squeezed me into herrge breasts. Everyone I know likes to shove me into their breasts for some odd reason... "Lady Bernadette Wordsworth, it is a pleasure to see you again," I said trying to remain collected. "Now, Bernadette...Maybe it is best to allow Lady Arielle some space for now," Duke of Wordsworth said. "If you say so, Dear Husband," Lady Bernadette said as she released me. "Wee to Nariel, Lady Arielle." "It is a pleasure to see you again as well, Duke of Wordsworth. I will be under your care starting today," I said with a curtsy. "No, the pleasure is mine. The library already has dorm rooms, so I probably won''t see much of you around here. Just remember that you are always wee in our home and that I will provide you with anything that you need during your stay." "I am already thankful for having someone of your caliber watching over me." "I wish you in the best of luck in your studies." Duke of Wordsworth and Lady Bernadette gave me a ride with their carriage to Exurbia Library. I wonder if it was due to me riding in Duke of Wordsworth''s carriage or my clothes, but I felt as though everyone''s eyes were on me. "Are my clothes strange?" I asked Lady Bernadette. "Clothes? Clothes from Arundel are at the top in trend setting. How on earth could they ever be considered strange?" Lady Bernadette answered. "I suppose the people are staring at me then... My looks are strange?" "They are admiring a beauty as they should be." "A b-beauty? If anyone would be a beauty, it would be Lady Bernadette." Lady Bernadette cradled me in her arms again. "My sister gave birth to such a lovely daughter. I wish to keep you by my side forever!" Duke of Wordsworth pat my aunt on her back. "We are in public, my dearest..." he said. Lady Bernadette released me. "So, it seems...Let us have tea together once you are settled in," Lady Bernadette said as she bid me adieu. I waved back at her carriage as I entered Exurbia Library. It was even more beautiful than the rumors with its many floors andvish decor. There was even arge sphere withrge metal rings around it. I was quickly greeted by a young brte with twin tails, a long-sleeved light blue buttoned up stand up cor dress with white decorative buttons and whitece decor on the sleeves and neck. On her skirt, was a long fluttery white apron and a golden embroidery design on the hem of her skirt. "Lady Arielle, I presume?" she asked excitedly. "Yes, I am Arielle Ira Maddox." "I am Maura Maci, I am filling in for the Head of the library as her daughter." She did not look much older than her early teens and she was nearly the same height as I. She escorted me to my room which was part of a building built right behind the library. I was then Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org. brought to a ratherrge room with multiple empty shelves, a long desk, a vanity, fresh potted housents, arge bed, and ceiling length white curtains that lead to a wide-open balcony. For a live- in job of the service industry, this was a bit much. "Lady Arielle is very lucky to have the best room in the entire building." "Are all rooms like this?" "They are generally not this big, but typically follow the same floor n. The previous tenant brought in and left therge luxury mattress, house nts, and curtains from a nearby furniture store. If it does not suit you, I can have them all removed by today." "No, it''s fine," I said as ced my things to the side. "I never thought librarians would have such beautiful rooms." "You are correct, Lady Arielle. Librarians are usually reserved for nobles, so rooms here are almost much better than someone could get in the capital. Also, since many librarians are researchers it makes them even more valuable to our economy. I have read about Lady Arielle''s portfolio and I say that it is mighty impressive. You could indeed pursue a career as a schr!" "...I will be engaged in a few years and will be fully supporting my husband by then." "Lady Arielle is the only daughter of a Duke after all..." She expressed her sympathy for me through her face and holding her fist towards her chest. I grabbed her hand and sped it with both hands. "It is not a bad thing...Supporting someone else and being the main person of their support, I could not be happier." She suddenly burst into tears. "Lady Arielle is so kind!" What a hyperactive person... I was soon handed simr clothes to what Maura was wearing but in a very light and pale pink color and the same white apron. "Is this the uniform?" "Yes. Librarians that usually start out are seen in a light pink uniform. The longer you stay here, your uniform changes to a darker shade of pink and then red is the darkest for those who have been here the longest. Only the Head of the Library wears a royal blue uniform. I am acting as the subhead, so my uniform is light blue for now. I will eventually have a royal blue uniform when I finish my training... If you would get changed, I will bring you to give you a tour of the library and have everyone meet you." Maura waited outside as I changed into my uniform. When I got to the chest area, I found that my chest had grown. I have to go through puberty a second time... If memory serves right, I remember having a rather ample chest at a very early age. I should get this quickly altered as soon as possible... The chest area was a bit tight after I tried my best in making it fit. I met Maura outside afterwards. "How is the fit?" Maura asked. "A bit tight..." I said with a slight gasp. "Holy magnolia! At your age...I suppose it''s right for puberty to start around now. I will get you a new uniform soon...Will you be alright wearing that for now? I have to show you the main parts of the library before we close. The showing of the dorm will urter, so you can change after we are done at the library." "I will be fine...I think." My chest feels even tighter than in my first life. I never asked to increase my assets as well...They were already troublesome before! I looked to my left and saw that there were other rooms near mine as well. "Ah, there is only two people living on this floor which includes you and someone from your country." "Someone from my country?" "Yes, that person is also new and came here some time before you. That person is usually quiet, so you don''t have to worry about loud noises." "Okay..." I saw a brief tour of the library sections from how the aisles were divided to the separate study rooms and children sections. There was also an underground archive room, but I was only given a brief look from the outside. Along the way, I met with multiple female librarian colleagues as well as more so male colleagues. Instead of pink, they wore green uniforms that ranged from lighter greens to a dark evergreen color as being the darkest. There was even a separate section avable for purchasing books and a cafe with an optional terrace. "This library has a little of everything." "Our main customers are Nobles, so it ends up this way." "I noticed that I am the only one in a light pink uniform?" "Yes, that is because you are the newest and only addition in a long time. There is only one other person that has not been here very long, and it is your neighbor. They are not wearing a light green uniform, but rather a dark evergreen color." "Someone can get a darker color uniform even if they have not been here long?" "People that have passed a higher rank Librarian test can exchange their old uniforms with a new one and have more benefits open to them." "Hm...I see. Then, this person from Arundel must be quite impressive." "He is, but he is definitely not a people pleaser, so he mostly stays in the back." "Really?" "If you are curious, maybe we should go see him now." A tingly feeling went through my body. In the corner of my eye, I saw a young male librarian wearing a dark evergreen vest putting back a book onto the shelf. He had a pristine posture and silky neck length ck hair with a shiny glisten andrge round gold framed spectacles. The first and only other person other than my husband to move my heart... "...Garett?" He turned towards me when I called his name. "...You are?" Just then, a button propelled itself from my chest to Garett''s forehead and rendered him unconscious...a chaotic reunion. Chapter 10: Unlikely Reunion Chapter 10: Unlikely Reunion Just then, a button from my chest popped and propelled itself from my chest to Garett''s forehead and rendered him unconscious. "Holy Magnolia!" Maura yelled. I quickly covered myself afterwards. Maura went to get me something, while I stayed with the unconscious Garett and felt very guilty. I thought that I might as well rest his head on myp and have him lying on the floor. I took off his sses and rested them to the side. Garett is here too... I was supposed to meet Garettst year, but it did not happen until now. After my marriage with Prince Erik in my first life, I heard Garett went up north and then I never saw him again... "I am back," Maura said. She helped me put on a bandeau top under my uniform. "So much better," I said with a deep breath. "It''s amazing how you know Garrett." "...I have never met him before," I replied. "Really? It did not look that way. I will go get a wet towel," Maura said as she hurried off. Garett started showing signs that he was waking up. His beautiful emerald green eyes peeked out from under his eyelids. "Are you alright, Garett?" I asked in a small voice. "...A fairy..." I chuckled softly. He must still be in a daze. "I am not a fairy," I said. I suppose he broke out of his daze soon afterwards because his face turned into a deep red shade. He began scrambling to find his sses and quickly scooted towards the bookshelves. "Y-Y-Y-You..." "You could have rested on myp a bit longer?" I said as I gestured him back to myp by patting my "N-No, thank you!" Ah, these cousins are really simr in reactions or is it just boys of their age are like this. Garett was known as a cold beauty to those who knew what he looks like underneath his sses. Seeing Garett act as if he is a child is refreshing. Far from cold beauty, he is just a cute child like this. It almost makes me want to bully him... Maura came back with a soaked handkerchief. "Great! You are back now, Garett," Maura said. "Let me introduce our newest member, Arielle." "It is a pleasure to meet you, Garett..." "Pleasure to meet you too..." He had avoided looking into my eyes. The red mark left by my button showed itself through his bangs. I rubbed his head slightly with my fingers. "Does it still hurt?" I asked him. "N-No," he answered with a flushed face. He got up abruptly. "I am calling it an early day today." "Did I do something to upset him?" I asked Maura. Other than the fact I knocked him unconscious... "He is like that with everyone." His personality has not changed even in this life... Maura showed me back to the dorms andmunal showers and baths that were separated by gender. It was a rather thorough tour from how Maura gave a slight history of almost everything that was in sight. The day was finally finished. I quickly changed out of my uniform and into a long-sleeved buttoned shirt and a long skirt. It feels good to be in my own clothes again. I am just notfortable to change into my pajamas just yet, or this is my refusal to sleep. Ever since I died the first time, I would often remember back to that fateful day when I am sleeping alone. It was scary, dark, and painful... I used a notebook in times like these to gather my thoughts. Within this world, there is a clear line of things that were meant to happen and things that can be slightly altered. If I followed my childhood exactly, typically the same events would follow. If I tried to diverge from certain major events like cutting my finger on a paper knife, it would change to getting a cut from a kitchen knife. It would be considered an unavoidable event. I jotted down almost all of the significant events that I could remember. The significant, or should I say impactful, events were usually nearly impossible to change. I suspected that meetings with people that have been influential people in my life would not change. I met Charlotte at the same tea party we first met in my first life along with countless other individuals. After meeting Charlotte, I expected to meet Garett as he was also a person with strong ties to me. That was the first time I became unsure of why something that was outside of my influence was different from the original. I had only deviated with minor events and my meetings with Prince Erik. It should not have had an effect on Garett, then why did Garett never show up at my home? We spent quite a lot of time together while we were young. No matter how much I waited, he never came in the end. The only reasons that I can think of is that Prince Erik did something directly or indirectly to this world''s Garett, an enemy unknown to me manipted people around me, this is apletely different world, and or I am not the only one who retained their memories... I cannot imagine a reason as to why someone would want to manipte Garett other than to spite me... Does Garett also retain memories from his first life? What should I do if there are more people standing in my way? What if Garett is standing in my way this time? ...Again...Do I have to... I thought that I should jot down a timeline in the form of a lighthearted diary form. Call it paranoia or not, I would not like anyone especially Erik knowing that this is my second life. I closed my journal shortly afterwards. I thought that I might as well get some night air since I was not going to sleep anytime soon. Erik was alive right now. I should be happy, but I feel an indescribable loneliness at the same time. This Erik was Erik, but at the same time, he is not my Erik. I will never relive those memories we shared together, nor will we be able to create new ones with him... Maura handed me my uniform in the morning. She had changed the front part to have an open diamond cutout in the front and added a white buttoned up bandeau for the chest area. Rather than a uniform, it looked more like fashionable clothing wear. I asked her if it was fine to wear this altered uniform. The purpose of wearing a uniform was to look like everyone else. Maura informed me that it was alright since I would have been the only one to stand out because I was the only one with a light pink uniform. She also thought of changing the design of the outdated uniforms since a long time ago and that any new additions to mine would serve as a prototype for the future. "Pl-Please take care of me," I stuttered in front of everyone before the library''s opening time. How embarrassing... "So cute!" the girls screamed. I was quickly surrounded by the girls within seconds. "This uniform is designed by you, Maura," a girl with orange hair asked Maura as she stared at my chest intensely. "Yes! This is a prototype. If any of you have any suggestions, I am willing to take any right now. Afterwards, I will do the final touch ups and have new uniforms for everyone. Who knows... Maybe a fine gentleman wille here asking for your hands in marriage if he sees how cute you are in your uniforms." "Frills!" "Lace!" "Pearls!" The girls began screaming their thoughts for Maura as they surrounded her. The girls lifted Maura onto a pedestal that was for some reason lying around. "We shall not lose in cuteness to those Royal Maids! This is our age as Librarians!" Maura said excitedly. "Empress Maura!" the girls shouted. Apparently, uniform equals justice around this kingdom. The same can be said for their male counterpart. Almost every Royal Maid that has reached a marriageable age are able to get married quickly to their desired partners. The uniforms in Exurbia Library have not changed since the founding day. Compared to those Royal Maid uniforms, Exurbia Library uniforms are rather conservative and Maura requested that I leave my uniform in her hands at the end of each day. I feel that if her additions continue, the uniform will no longer resemble its former self any time soon. I feel that Head Librarian will not like this when shees back. Maura pushed me onto Garett the first thing in the morning. Garett caught me at my shoulders. Boys are strong even at a young age... "W-What are you doing?" Garett screeched at Maura. "Show Lady Arielle around and how to do her duties until she gets the hang of it." "...I''m sorry," I apologized to him. He released me at my shoulders. "No, you did not do anything wrong...Anyways, why me?" he asked Maura irately. "You slept on the job yesterday," Maura answered. I twitched and held my face with my hands. "That was..." "Take care of Lady Arielle then," Maura said as she went away. Garett pinched the bridge of his nose and then turned towards me. "You!" "Yes!" I identally replied with too much zest. "Ah...For starters, just follow what I do." Garett kindly led me around and quietly worked behind the scenes for the most part by putting books back. It seems that there was a special section for every book and a helpfulbel that would direct one to the exact area of where it needed to be ced. Around midafternoon, Garett would switch to manning the front where he would help anyone with what they were looking for whether they had a book in mind or not. Having shadowed him, I felt as though I learned a lot. After rush hour, there would be a free time where Garett would use to read books instead of eating properly. The night service would also get rather busy with people rushing to return their books in time. With that, a whole day is over. The library was then deemed as closed and thest of our duties consisted of wiping down the counters and tables. The chairs would be cleaned in the morning. "Garett, do you mind me asking why you came here as a Librarian?" I asked Garett. Around this time, he should have been in Arundel...not all this way out in another country. "...I liked books and came here mainly for the Asmaria research program. Nariel''s information currently surpasses that of Arundel and all other surrounding countries. Bing a Librarian especially to a library used by the Royal Family of Nariel allows me ess to records firsthand and that are not avable to other libraries in the world." Was Garett always this kind of person? "...Why are you so interested in Asmaria?" Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org. Garett shot me a cold re. "What''s it to you?" Garett asked coldly. He began backing me up into a corner and pushed me against the wall. "Do you think it''s fine to continue asking questions without answering any of mine?" I turned away from his gaze. "It was a simple question. From where Ie from, Asmaria Kingdom is not a very popr topic." It was half true. My family was of the main branch and was containing multiple secrets of Asmaria Kingdom. They did not need to jump in the bandwagon with the others. He released my shoulder. "There are plenty of other people that came here for the same reasons," he said as he went back to cing the chairs in order. "That may be true, but you are also one of the few people from Arundel. It cannot be helped if I am curious about my fellow countrymen." "What about you?" "I am a bit surprised that you would ask about me." "I should be the most curious person here. Is it really that strange? Why did youe here when clearly you are a youngdy with a good standing such as yourself?" "How do you know if Ie from a family of good standing?" "...When you surround yourself with different types of Nobles, you develop a keen eye for this kind of things." "I came here chasing after the man that I love and gave him all of my love, but he refuses to give me his time." He seems perplexed by my answer. "...That is quite a shame." "I know that it is impossible to get a full refund for all the love that I have given him, but I would like half back," I said as I held out my hand towards him. "Half...if you would." He blinked twice in disbelief and then turned red. "H-H-How is that possible?" "It was a joke," I said as I retracted my hand. "I could not possibly know you. The first time we met was here after all. I came here...for finding meaning in my life." "Meaning?" "...I thought I could by trying to live for myself for once. No matter where I search, there is nothing to make me full of hope. I am a truly empty person," I said as I pulled the curtains closed. "It is about time we leave now." Chapter 11: Fated to Meet Chapter 11: Fated to Meet My etiquette sses began once again and three days a week with a private tutor at my aunt Bernadette''s home as requested of my parents. Lady Bernadette would always appear before the library to take me to her home. I thought it was a bit odd since I would never call her. I epted her kind gesture for three days so far. It was only until I asked Maura for a map that I found out that it was a Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. mere fifteen-minute walk from the library to her house. When I questioned Lady Bernadette about it, she quickly admitted that she had been escorting me from and to with a detour to make it seem like the distance was further than I thought all because she was worried about me walking outside by myself. The tendency I have to surround myself with people that adore me to a fault has still not changed... I began walking from Lady Bernadette''s home to the Exurbia Library after my lessons. It was a good chance for me to get familiar with the nearby shops and scenery. Nariel is a truly beautiful country with its unique architecture and emphasis on greenery nts all around. It is said that the architectural designs of most buildings and roads are based off of the picture records from Asmaria. Everyone in this country is a fanatic about a lost country other than me. Still, the nostalgia I feel from seeing this country as if I had been here before. In my first life, I never even stepped out of Arundel even once before... "Wee back, Arielle," Maura said as she greeted me after I changed into my uniform. "Good afternoon, Maura," I told her. "Garett said that you have been doing well in remembering the library sections. You will be cing the books back," she said as she pointed towards arge stack of books. "You will be fine since it is all sorted by section. You will be in one aisle for the most part." Carrying all these by hand...There should be at least seventy books. "Where is Garett? I have not seen him all day." "Garett attends Nariel Preparatory five days a week. He will be hereter in the afternoon." If I remember right, Nariel royalty and the young Prince Erik currently go there. "I see." "I thought that you might attend there as well." "No, I will be attending the Royal Academy within Arundel in a few years..." "That''s still going to be about five years from now...How making some friends? That''s what school is all about." "Friends?" I only had Charlotte who I considered a true friend. If I were to look back on my first life and second life, I only remembered ssmates'' names and faces and only exchanged a few pleasantries. Other than Charlotte, I never felt a really strong connection between anyone. I thought it was enough to only have one person understand me and only one person who could love me as a woman. "More importantly, have you ever really lived for yourself?" "Huh?" "You have lived your life as a Duke''s Daughter for how long? All these etiquette and socializing sses were done with the intent of serving your husband, am I right? You requested toe over here of your own will, but still have not changed your way of pleasing your parents. What about yourself? What have you done to make yourself happy? Do you really not have any desires?" There was only one time that I ever asked for something. Erik denied me of it, and my heart ended up being broken because I lost something very important that day... What was it? I suddenly snapped back to reality. It was not as if Ipletely remembered my past life. There were some parts that were still fuzzy... "Apart from wanting toe here, not really... Surrounding myself with the scent of ink and lovely scent of old books...Can that not be my dream?" "If that is what you truly wish for, I would say no more. That is not what you want, Arielle. Like you, him, and I...we are all escaping from something," Maura said as she took a stack of books onto her hands and carried them out. "I just hope that you will not end up like the rest of us." With her usual professional smile, she left like the wind. Maura is one to not be taken lightly... Her words cut deep into me. I came here as an escape from Erik as well as for anyone that I could encounter within my country. I would have to see him if he were toe by my home eventually. Constantly avoiding him for five or six years would have its limits. I opted with the excuse of studying in another country where my parents would ept because of my aunt living here. No matter how tied we are to fate, even he cannot force himself here. A loud trumpet rang throughout the library. "Our Prince is here!" a booming man''s voice rang. I spoke too soon... I was on the second floor. Upon just hearing the word Prince, I quickly lunged myself towards the ground and crawled to the ledge. A herd of various noble children in ck uniforms had entered the library with several guards. Maura bravely went up the guards. "This library is not a ce for you soldiers in heavy uniforms," she said crisply. "The Second Prince of our nation is here! How can we be asked to leave?" Nariel royalty...That makes sense. "Under Article 37, under subsection 12, militarized personnel are not allowed intrusion upon public facilities or businesses or homes at in times when the country is not at war. If you lot forgot how to read, shall I read it to you from the book word from word?" "...Ask that everyone in this library apart from staff to leave then!" "All these people are happy residents of this country... To ask them to leave while they are here for business and leisure activities, shows how rotten the abuse from soldiers are," Maura said coldly. The guard grabbed Maura by the cor. I quickly got to my feet. I need to do something. "Who are you to..." Maura pointed at a golden circr badge to her chest. "As an honorary Royal Librarian appointed by the King, I have the authority to throw out anyone I dislike," she said as she grabbed the soldier by his cor. The soldier was then lifted into the air and thrown outside of therge double doorway. She went back to smiling professionally. "Anyone else like to be escorted out the same way?" Everyone including the Nobles shook their head incredibly fast before the very scary Librarian. For such a petite young woman to have that much strength, the world truly is full of mysteries... I looked around and saw people circling around two individuals. One was a boy with spiky crimson red hair and sapphire-colored eyes. He was very handsome with a sharp gaze and sly smile. For a moment, I felt his eyes lock with mine. He smiled. I quickly ducked and looked back again to see if he was still staring over here. His attention had turned towards the people around him. My heart is ever so nervous... The person to his left was a xen blonde-haired boy with ear length hair and long bangs. When he turned, I saw the familiar emerald green eyes I loved. Erik... I quietly retreated with my back to the shelves and sighed. Of course, he would show up here. Fate is always unkind to us... I grabbed the stack of books for the fourth floor and quickly made my way up there. It was an unpopr section, so I could hide away from others if I wanted to. I never thought that I would use this spot for this purpose so quickly. What am I doing? Am I going to hide from Erik forever? As I was cing books away, I saw a head of vibrant red hair pop up from the other side of the shelf. I quickly jumped back and fell onto my bottom. "Sorry...Did I scare you?" a voice from the other side asked. A boy? He walked around the shelves and revealed himself. He was the popr boy I saw earlier! He really did see me... "N-No...I''m fine," I said as I quickly fixed my sitting position. He looked at me closely as if he was witnessing a strange creature. I felt awkward around boys that I did not know in my past life. "Are you a fairy?" he asked as he sat down in front of me. Fairy? Is he crazy? Wait, if I say that I am a fairy, will he go away and pretend he never saw me? "That''s right," I suddenly blurted while I was gathering my thoughts. He chuckled at me. "Then, Miss Bookkeeping Fairy, could you help me find a book?" Am I certified to help people yet? I have only been putting books away... "I am not certified to help you..." "That''s too bad...How about telling me your favorite book here?" I took out a blue book from the pile I was supposed to put away and showed it to him. "Tales of Grimel..." "Are you sure that it is not just some random book you pulled out?" "...I truly like this book." "What is it about then?" For the next thirty minutes, I exined to him the plot and a little splendor about how the story often tugs at the emotions of the reader. I also began a brief history about the author and how the author struggled to write this story while experiencing painful arthritis in their hands and the painful loss of their husband, as well as other things. It was about halfway through that I realized that I was speaking with so much zest about the book that I "...I apologize for my rudeness," I said. "Why?" "I never helped you find a book and began rambling on about this series...I just thought that it would be a waste if no one found this wonderful book because it was in this section." "Is this a section for unpopr books?" he asked. "I believe that it is more of a location issue. The books are a bit old but are still in great condition. If more people came up here, surely they will like these books as well." He gently took the book from my hands. "Thank you for helping me find this book, Miss Fairy," he said as he got up. I indirectly helped him...Is this fine? I went back to sorting out books and asionally looking over and keeping track of Erik''s location. The boy from earlier had joined with Erik after Erik finished checking out books. They seemed rather close from how closely they stood to one another. I watched Erik leave with his ssmates with my hand to my chest. I had no idea how important this library was or how close it was to Erik. I had asked about whether it was regr for students from Erik''s school toe here. The Academy makes a trip here once a month. In the meantime, students that happen to check out books will return sometime within two weeks to return books or renew them with their own time. I feel as though I have gotten more awkward and honest with my feelings ever since my second life. All of my feelings show up on my face. The way I am now, I will surely mess things up...This means that I have to continue hiding. Just a few more years and I will save Erik and protect the happiness around him... Within a few days, we had received an influx of new people entering the fourth-floor new people going up to the fourth floor. I felt happy about the new rush, but I also began hearing some odd rumors about if you were to find a book the book fairy likes you could see her. That boy yed a prank on me... Chapter 12: First Love Chapter 12: First Love It has been about three weeks since I hade here. Everyone including Garett has been rather helpful towards me. I had no idea about the amount of manual work I would have to do beforeing here. As a result, I put on more muscle mass. No wonder, Maura was so strong. Librarians are not to be looked down upon despite their conservative appearance. "The cer?" "There is a section where we keep unsorted books away," Garett said as he offered his hand for me. I felt a bit awkward as I took his hand. It could not be helped as the footing was poor and my skirt was needlessly long. Even so, I felt a bit guilty towards Erik since I had not held his hand in this this lifetime yet and apologized to him inside my head for taking the hand of another boy before him. I put myself back into a bad mood once more because I remembered we would not have another chance to hold each other''s hand anymore anyways. Garett led me down the stairs of a room below the library. It was arge open space with plenty of books, old shelves, nket covers, pens, maps, and other stuff that seemed to have been kept away for a long time. I identally snagged my foot over the carpet and was about to trip. I braced myself by holding my hands out in front of me to help me break my fall. "Careful!" Garett had caught me with one arm around my chest and held me up by my shoulder. My heart raced slightly. "I''m sorry..." "...I guess we should really me the one who makes women''s dresses so long," he said as he released me. Wow... he is so smooth that he makes everything look so easy. "What are we going to be doing here?" "We are going to air out these books before we put them on our new shelves we just received from the woods craftsmen. Insects like to find their way into old books, so we willy a nket out and have books standing up in an ordion style and bathe in the sun. The insects will naturallye out in their own after a while and we can just collect them afterwards," he exined. He looked back towards me as if he were checking up on me. "I am not going to fall again," I told him I said as I picked up my skirt. "That''s not it... It doesn''t bother you?" he asked with a concerned expression. I wonder what he was worried about... "...I think I will be fine," I answered him. He pointed towards a dusty stack of books. "I alreadyid out a nket outside. Just help me carry that stack over there. I will go to that side," he said as he went to an even dustier side. "It seems that there are more books on your side. I can help you after I am finished with my side." He stared at me with wide eyes. "It really doesn''t bother you?" "It''s just a bit of dust." "Normally, girls are not fine with insects or lots of dust." Normally,dies would refrain themselves of touching anything dirty or going anywhere near insects. "Insects are also living beings trying to get by," I answered him. "You are so strange," he said as he put on a mask and began picking up books. Along with cleaning the books and sunbathing them, we had to set a different pile up for the books that were either too old or were damaged too much from insects eating through the pages. It was a shame, but those books were to be incinerated. Garett looked the most disheartened out of all of us even though he barely showed it on his face. His eyes never went away from the scene of burning books. Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. The number of times I felt guilty towards Erik continues to umte. Just like now, I wanted tofort Garett... A monthter, I finally had my first break. I was working nonstop and probably more than most seeing as though I only alternated with my etiquette lessons and practically worked all days without rest. Maura had forced me to take a day off with her. We found ourselves sitting outside of a cafe. Our table seemed to be gathering quite a number of looks. I hardly feel that me in my long ck and pale pink mermaid shaped skirt and white long sleeve shirt with a ck necktie were anything to look at. Maura was a rather beautiful young woman when dressed up. She had her wavy hair down. Her clothes consisted of a camel-colored blouse and a high waisted dark brown skirt with ruffled trims. "Excuse me..." A man soon walked up beside us as we were talking by ourselves. It was the soldier from before was standing before Maura in in civilian clothes. I remembered him because of his honey-colored hair and blue eyes. Seeing him up close made me understand therge height difference between Maura and this person. I have a hard time believing that she was capable of throwing him over her shoulder... "What would you like from me?" she asked curtly. "I''ve been waiting for you since I am not allowed in the library..." He seemed much different from his past aggressive self. "I see...You are here for Round 2," Maura said as she got up from her seat. The person we have here seems ready for a free-for-all! "Somewhere private then..." "Let''s duke it out right here," Maura said with an unwavering gaze. That''s udylike, Maura! "Alright then," he said as he moved his hands towards his back. He soon used some sort of magic trick and pulled out a bouquet of flowers from his back. The girls behind me gasped as they saw the romantic scene unfolding. Maura epted the bouquet and studied it with a nk expression. "...Do you want me to use this as a weapon against you?" Maura asked with a strange look on her face. The romantic scene was broken... "This is for you!" he said loudly. "Why would you give me this?" Maura asked innocently. The soldier''s face turned into a deep red color. "I thought it was obvious...I have...I have fallen in love with you!" He received a rain of apuse from the audience all around them. Maura lost her edginess and brought the bouquet closer to her reddened face. "...It was not obvious to me," she replied. "W-Will you please go out with me, Lady Maura?" the soldier asked as he gave a deep bow and held out his hand. "This is troubling," Maura replied. The soldier looked upwards at Maura''s troubled expression. "I''m sorry..." It seemed as if he had lost all hope. "...I...I don''t know your name," Maura said. "It''s Kline," he said as he stood back up. "...Ever since we first met, you have always been an annoyance. Even so, I could not get you out of my mind...Yes, this feeling may be a bit simr to your feelings. As I am unfamiliar with these feelings and the ways with interacting with men, I hope that you would help me out," Maura said as she held her hand out to much of her own embarrassment. Maura said such a bold statement that even thedies behind us fainted. The soldier smiled widely as he soon got on one knee and held her hand towards his face. "dly," he said as he kissed the back of her hand. "Is that alright?" "We will have our chances to get to know one another," she said embarrassedly. "Lady Maura is quite the hunter." She lightly pped my shoulder. Maura sent away that handsome soldier so that we could continue on with our outing. "We are here," she said as she arrived at arge pair of gates. "This is?" A beautiful young woman with long gray hair tucked into a bun and a tight fitting maroon suit with a mermaid skirt soon came to greet us. "Wee to Nariel Preparatory Academy, Lady Arielle. I am Headmaster Irene Ingram." We proceeded to go on about a tour of the school. "It''s a beautiful school," I said. "Thank you very much," Headmaster Ingram said. We stopped before arge bronze statue in the middle of the courtyard. "My great grandfather would be happy to hear you say that if he were still alive. He built this school during his time as a young teenager. He was also an avid researcher about the Asmaria Kingdom, so much of the designs came from past records. Even his favorite quote is written on his statue." The words were definitely from the Asmariannguage. I doubt that anyone of this time had been able to decipher such advanced writing yet. "...What does it say?" I asked her. "There is really no way to confirm the trantion, but my great grandfather thought it was such pretty writing that it probably had something to do with ''paradise'' or ''Heaven'' maybe," she said. The quote actually reads, ''Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person.'' Her trantion was far from it, but it was still a decent quote her great grandfather chose. "It would be great if it was that," I said with a smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I had caught the sight of white flowers. I was drawn to its allure and had incidentally lost my way. I paid not too much mind at my own situation and decided to stay where I was at and continued staring at the flowers. Ca Lily Flowers... They were Erik''s favorite flowers. I recalled a conversation I had with Erik when we were out on a date in our teen years in our first life. "Arielle, have you ever wondered why white ca lilies are popr in religious art?" Erik asked. "It is white?" "That is true. There are many other flowers that are white too..." "Then, their beauty?" I said as I reached my hand out towards the flower. "All parts of the nt are poisonous," Erik said. I immediately retracted my hand. "Eek!" Erikughed at me for a short while. "It is just that eating any part of the nt can lead to diarrhea, stomach pains, intense burning sensations, swelling of the throat, tongue and lips. It may be fatal upon eating... I do hear that the leaves are edible after cooking, would you like to try your chances?" "No, thank you! Who would ever want to try such a thing?" "...It''s strange how such a beautiful flower that is highly toxic to be used often used in religion as a symbol of purity. This flower is considered a symbol for resurrection and rebirth because it returns every year after winter. These flowers are sturdy as they are stunning and can withstand frosts and can regrow in cases after being cut, yet they have such short lifespans. I think it''s beautiful how it tries to live its life out to the fullest despite holding in such high amounts of poison." Erik would sometimes say odd and grim things to me. "...I still think it is beautiful even after everything you have said." Erik touched my cheek. "These flowers alsoe in pink. They represent admiration and flirting," Erik whispered in my ear as he pulled me in close. "Shall I gift wrap it in a vase for you after this winter, or would you prefer somethingrger and warmer as a gift?" I quickly wiped the memory out of my mind. I held my cheeks as they had be warm from the memory and furiously shook my head. I took out my watch and saw that I had been gone for about ten minutes already. Maybe I should walk towards a ce that is easier to spot? As I was walking, I identally tripped over my own two feet. Embarrassing enough as it was, myck of bnce was so terrible... "Are you alright?" a boy asked as he lent out his hand. "I am fine, thank¨C" Erik? My heart sank. Chapter 13: School Life Chapter 13: School Life Why was he here...in this moment? "Are you alright?" he asked again. He did not recognize me. He had forgotten me... I had been avoiding him for so long that he had forgotten my face. This was the result of my actions... "Yes," I said. Instead of taking his hand, I got up by myself and brushed the dirt off my skirt. "Thank you for worrying about me." "Are you headed somewhere?" I wanted to ask, ''Are you going to apany me?'' I held my tongue back. "No, I am just walking without a destination." I was surprised how easily my words came out of my mouth. Either I did not love this Erik as much, or our decreased time together made me less affectionate towards him. "Alright then, Miss. I hope that you have a pleasant day," he said as he left with his friend. I watched his back walk away from me. There was no ill will behind his words. Erik hadpletely forgotten me. My chest felt so painful... "Arielle! Are you alright?" Maura asked. She seemed worried about me from her flushed expression. "Y-Yes..." "Your face is pale," she said as she held my shoulders. I fell at my knees. There is no reason for me to not live my life. Avoiding Erik was a way that I could protect myself from falling in love with Erik. The more I go out of my way to avoid him, the more I am driving myself down madness. This was due to my own delusion that we were meant to be in love with each other. By living up to that fate, we would be naturally drawn to each other and love each other unconditionally. He treated me as a stranger upon meeting face to face again. In his eyes, I was nothing more to him than someone passing by. My fears...Only I am being held down by these so-called memories that will soon nevere to fruition. I was not scared of falling in love with Erik again. I was scared that Erik would treat me as a stranger...At this rate, I really will be a stranger. I am selfish. Erik made me realize my own feelings. I am aware that we must cut our ties one day, but I am unable to let go of anything...not my memories, my feelings, or even Erik himself. This twisted love...I am fine with watching him from afar. In my first life, I was only able to enjoy two years of school life. I admit that it was one of the happiest times that I ever spent. Only I once had I wished of wanting to spend it a bit longer. Maura thought it would be nice for me to be with other children my age. I could not ignore her kindness and decided to attend the Academy with an open mind. I nned of course to not get in the way of Erik by only watching him from afar. Within a few days, I was quickly admitted into the Academy. Maura handed me my uniform. It was a ck long-sleeved uniform with a double breasted coat with golden buttons, arge red necktie and had a knife pleated skirt with a silver line border that rose above the knees. "It is a bit short," Imented on the backside. "It is cuter that way," Maura said. "How can I expect myself to stroll around in such a short skirt? My garter straps would be shown to the entire world!" "How about some tights?" Pantyhose would surely cover all of my legs, but I had forgotten to bring them from home. "I can add a petticoat underneath! You are set then, Mdy!" Maura said excitedly. "What is with the noise?" Garett asked as he knocked on my door. "Come in," Maura said. "W-Wait, I am not decent yet!" Garett hade in after I had hurried to put on the rest of the ensemble. Maura held me by my shoulders. "How is it?" Maura asked Garett. Garett seemed a bit baffled at my attire. "Does it look that bad on me?" I asked. "If you do not answer soon, you will make her feel bad," Maura said. "...I-It looks rather good on you," Garret said shyly. I felt a bit happy that Garett had told me that. He was not the type to use ttery if he did not mean it. "Aren''t you d that it looks good on you?" Maura asked me. "At this rate, you will also be a hit at your school!" "Wait...That uniform can''t be..." Garett said. "It''s the girls'' uniform to your school," Maura said excitedly. "You are going to enter my school!" Garett said surprisedly. Maura tied my hair up in a high ponytail and added on arge ck ribbon tie with a whitece border to my hair. "...Am I causing you trouble?" I asked Garett. "...N-No, I think it''s a good idea for you to go to school." I went to school the next day. "It is a first time, but we are having two new transfer students," Professor Jordy said. "Arielle Ira Wordsworth," I said with a light curtsy. I thought that going under the guise of my uncle''s name would help avoid many things. "I am Charlotte Vera Castile!" Charlotte introduced herself with a booming voice as she grabbed my hand and waved it above her head. Charlotte was apparently lonely since I left Arundel and followed me all the way here despite Viscount Castile''s numerous objections. I heard that he was forced to ept Charlotte''s selfish wishes due to the ckmail she used over him. I pity Viscount Castile for having such a strong-willed daughter... Still, I was happy to have someone I knew beside me even though she used not so honest means... "I am d that we are together again!" Charlotte said as we got up for lunch. "You sure surprised me. When did youe to Nariel?" I asked. "Just yesterday! I could not wait to see you again." Charlotte was just as lovely as before. She had not changed in the slightest. If anything, she seems a bit more spoiled. Some girls came up to us. "Is it true that you two are both from Arundel?" a girl with long brown hair asked. "Yes!" Charlotte answered. "Then, do you know about Prince Erik?" "I do not know about him personally, but yes... After all, he is Arielle''s¨C" Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. I closed off Charlotte''s mouth and quick dragged her out of the ssroom. "I would like to keep my rtionship with Prince Erik a secret," I told Charlotte. "Why?" she asked cutely. "That is...I have my reasons," I told her. "Alright!" she answered. "Really?" "You can tell me your reasons when you want to since you do not want to tell me now. I will keep it a secret for you," she said. "Thank you, Charlotte," I told her. She puffed out her chest. "I have a condition!" "What might that be?" "You must call me Char or Char Char in a cute voice from now on," she demanded. "That is embarrassing..." "Come on, Little Missy...If you don''t want your secret toe out, you will do what I say," Charlotte said, trying to sound intimidating. Charlotte had never asked me of this before, so I was taken a bit by surprise. "...Char," I said quietly. "Arielle is so cute!" she said as she hugged me suddenly. I wonder if it was due to Charlotte''s charm. I started to feel closer to themunity and easily fit in with the other girls of our ss. When it came to lunch, we still liked sitting by ourselves. I had set up a pic nket for the two of us while I waited on Charlotte toe by. "Arielle!" Charlotte''s voice boomed. I saw her running towards me while dragging someone behind her. The stranger did not seem very willing to be dragged but was unable to shake off Charlotte''s strength. "I found a pretty boy!" The pretty boy was Garett. I never thought that I would find him so easily... "Why must I be dragged here while I was having lunch in the library?" Garett asked angrily. "Charlotte likes pretty things...If she catches you, there is no chance in running away," I said. "Arielle?" Garett said in a surprised manner. I was slightly surprised too because he used my name for the first time. "Oh my...Are you two already acquainted?" Charlotte asked. "We both work and live at Exurbia Library," I exined. "That''s wonderful!" Charlotte said as she pressured Garett to sit down and sat beside me. She began rummaging through her bag and took out some sandwiches. "I apologize for the trouble," I told Garett. "No, it isn''t your fault...I was sitting by myself and was suddenly grabbed and dragged all the way here by her. For such a pretty girl, it is a shame that she acts like that," Garett said with a sigh. "You seem used to this," Imented. "More or less...Are you one of her victims too?" "We were friends in Arundel...She happened to follow me all the way here." Charlotte kindly handed Garett a te of sandwiches. "Thank you," he said as he epted them. Everyone that gets involved with Charlotte naturally fall into her pace and easily ept it as if it is natural. This part of her is especially scary since people are easily roped in this way. "I saw Garett eating by himself and took him here," Charlotte said. "He seemed interesting." Charlotte... "My books...my peace," Garett grumbled. "Do you always eat alone?" I asked him. I admit that it was a bit rude to ask, but he seemed very loved among his peers at the library. "I am always bothered when I am in ss. I eat alone to get away from it all," Garett said as he took a bite from the sandwich. His face brightened up along with his eyes. It was almost cute how easily his facial expression changed. I thought the frown was permanent. "It is delicious." "Hehe...Thank you very much," Charlotte replied with a smile. ...Are those two? "Is Charlotte your type?" I whispered to Garett. His face turned slightly red. "N-No, girls like that are just difficult to deal with. If anyone, you are..." Garett seemed to stop mid-sentence. "I am what?" I asked him. He closed his eyes and turned away from me. "You are close!" he said. I forgot that I was inches from his face and suddenly felt embarrassed. "I am sorry," I said as I backed away. "My, my..." Charlotte said. As we continued to eat, Charlotte shared various stories with us and informed us greatly about the news. Garett seemed the most interested. He was truly a boy of literature. For Garett''s convenience, I asked Charlotte to hold our lunch meetings in the library. She was alright with it and eventually she fell in love with the splendor of a library''s ambiance. Chapter 14: Disruptive Girl [Garetts Perspective] Chapter 14: Disruptive Girl [Garett''s Perspective] [Garett''s Perspective] There is a girl disrupting morals around here. It has been about a week since she hase here. The neer goes by the name Arielle. Her hair was of light pink color and exudes and image of softness and an airy feeling. Her eyes resemble that of pale blue topaz gemstones, her lips contain a naturally cherry blossom tint, and her skin is white and gentle like snow. There is probably no woman more beautiful than this woman in Arundel or even this country. I suppose it is not an exaggeration to say that even the princess of this country would fall prey to her looks. If she was only beautiful, there would be less problems. Alongside her beautiful looks, she had what would be considered a sensuality unbefitting of her age. "Ow... a paper cut," she said as she identally pricked her finger. I sighed as I rummaged through my pockets to find a bandage. "I have a..." She suddenly began sucking on her injured finger. The act itself was not particrly strange. It was the fast that a beautiful girl was sucking on her finger with her pretty lips was inciting the immoral feelings of both genders. "Good now..." she said as she took her finger out of her mouth. Only she herself is unaware of the reddened faces around her. A natural...airhead. "Uh..." "A Band-Aid?" I handed her the Band-Aid that I had unknowingly crumpled in my hand. "I just happened to have an extra," I said curtly. I am always acting cold to her on reflex. If I would have to answer why, it is because this woman disturbs my heart. Not acting cold would result in me falling to her charms just like the others. "Thank you," she said as she epted the Band-Aid with a smile. Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org. I quickly turned away from her and went to sorting books with a few other Librarians. "Lady Arielle is beautiful as always," someone began. I agree...I just do not think it is appropriate to talk about such things while we work. "What do you think, Garett?" Johor, an unpleasant guy that came around the same I did, asked me as he poked me in my sides. "Hah?" Why do these people believe that I am a fan of these topics? "You two are the closest in age to one another and are from the same country," Johor noted. "Stop it," Clovis, a more unpleasant guy that came around the same time I did, said as he threw his arm around Johor. "Garett here has a trauma." "A trauma?" Johor asked curiously. I smacked Clovis on the back of his head. "Ow!" he yelped. "Not another word," I said sternly. "I am curious now," Johor said as he looked in my direction. "Whatever," I said as I went back to work. "We have his approval!" Clovis said. He would have said it anyways. "Get back to work afterwards..." Clovis took the book out of my hands and began gathering the male librarians around and perched himself on a high chair we often used to read to children. "Gather around, gents! It is time for story time!" I was grabbed as well and made to sit on the ground front and center with the others. "Oi! Don''t get in the way of my work!" I screeched at the people holding me down. I swear...all of the people in this country, or rather this library, always tries to find a reason to skip work. "Little Garett was made to meet a girl a year younger than him many years ago," Clovis began. "He had made her cry within a few minutes of meeting her, and she pushed him into a pond in retaliation." I received numerous boos from the people around me. "You lot are too noisy!" I screeched at them as I went back to my work. My eyes were drawn to her. She was there sitting elegantly at the very top of thedder and had a book opened in her hands. Her knees were slightly elevated to support her book at an angle as she read to herself quietly. She looked breathtaking as the light shone through her pink to silvery blonde hair and reflected at the ends of her hair making her seem as if she were surrounded by pixie dust. She moved her hair ever so slightly that she would not bother too much with her long hair. I hate boisterous girls. Gentle girls like her, I don''t particrly dislike them... Chapter 15: Red Circle Chapter 15: Red Circle I woke up to a morning where my tears had already stained my face. I checked my calendar and understood the reason why I would recall such a thing. That day was For the rest of the week, I was repeatedly found nking out. It got to the point that it was so bad that I was forced to take a day off. Furthermore, I was told to bring Garett the Workaholic. "Maura, that tyrant..." Garett grumbled. "I''m sorry... I think Maura was worried about me, so she asked you toe watch over me." "I don''t mind!" he said hurriedly. He coughed into his fist. "I don''t mind going along with you... You seem like you would run into a busy street by yourself." "Is there anywhere that you would like to go?" I asked him. "Normally, shouldn''t I ask in this situation?" Garett asked. We were walking along a busy district, but we were still in a sea of strangers and essentially alone together. ...This could not be considered a date, right? "I am not well acquainted with Nariel''s shopping district..." "Really? You don''t go out to buy clothes? I see you often with new clothes on all the time." "My mother does shop and sends clothes over as well as my aunt over here. I have not really explored the district by myself either since I am afraid of getting lost. Ever since I came here, I have been managing with only my things that I brought from home." "Is that really enough?" "My basic necessities are there. I just do not have anything that makes me feel morefortable. If I wanted to go somewhere... maybe a home goods store?" "Understood," Garett said as he suddenly made a hard turn. I wonder what he understood... We were suddenly standing in front of a very girly store with plenty of stuffed teddy bears andce. "...This is?" "...Maura often drags me here, so go in," he said as he lightly pressed on my back. I listened to him and went in. The store had a very cute atmosphere with all of the goods. When I looked around, there were only women. Garett only followed behind quietly or put his eye in the mugs or simple looking goods. "See anything you like?" Garett asked. I actually really liked therge almond colored teddy bear with emerald-colored eyes and arge green ribbon with an emerald jewel pendant in the window disy. Since I was with Garett, I thought that it might be a bit too childish if I suddenly went for it. "The mugs are a practical item," I said as I picked up one. "I see...I am going outside then. Feel free to look around more," Garett said as he walked towards the exit. I thought it was my chance to buy the teddy bear or at least put it onyaway. The shop clerk told me that it was already reserved by someone before me. I left the shop in a dejected manner. "I am done," I told Garett. "Your load is quite light..." "I am the kind of person that does not know what they want unless I write it down first." "That is a shame," he said as he swung a bag over his shoulder. I opened my hands and saw that Garett had smoothly taken the bag from me without me noticing. Garett is going to make some lucky girl really happy one day. My eyes were suddenly drawn to a men''s essory shop. As if reading my mind, Garett gravitated towards it. "I want to take a look in here if you don''t mind," he said. "Not at all!" Garett seemed to be looking at handkerchiefs. My eyes were drawn to the pocket watch chains. Erik had always carried around his grandfather''s gold pocket watch with an emerald jewel center and special engravings. I saw the exact same chain he used for it in this shop. I bought it on the spur of the moment and began to hate myself. Why did I buy it? I remembered Erik saying that he spent a long time searching for the perfect chain... Is this me being spiteful? I will just add it to that box then... When we came back to the dormitory, Garett and I were rained down upon with colorful confetti. "Happy Birthday, Garett!" everyone said. "I didn''t prepare anything special...I got you a mug," I said as I pulled out the simple porcin mug with one green stripe. "Thank you," he said as he epted it. "From all of us, we got you a golden pocket watch with the Exurbia Library insignia engraved on it," Maura said as she handed Garett the watch. I handed him the chain I bought earlier as well. "Were you not going to buy this for yourself?" "I do not use a pocket watch," I told him. "It would be more useful in your hands." It was not like I could return it or give it to the person I wanted to... "Thank you, everyone," Garett said as he epted the gifts. Just before I entered my room, Garett stopped me. "I have something for you too." He handed me a veryrge bag from behind his back. "Me? Normally, I should be the one preparing gifts for today, right?" I opened therge bag and saw the bear I was eyeing in the store before in front of my eyes. I was told that someone had reserved it. That person was Garett? When did he even have time to get it? Was it when I bought the chain? "How did you know that I wanted this?" "...You were staring at it like you wanted it for a long time. I thought you might have held back because of me, so I reserved it and went back for it while you were shopping. I always thought it was a strange thing... Girls like violent carnivores, right?" "You are not wrong..." "I just want to show my appreciation for you..." Garett said as he averted his gaze. "You have been helpful to me since you came here." "Thank you," I told him as I cradled the bear that was half my size in my arms. I had gone back to my room with therge bear and threw myself into my bed as I hugged the soft bear tightly. Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. Erik and Garett had the same birthdays. With that face, those words, and that voice... Almost everything about Garett reminded me of Erik. This must be God''s way in being cruel to me. I went to my closet and dragged out a brown treasure box and opened it. I ced the mug I bought inside of the chest and tucked the box away in my closet. My treasure box of empty wishes... Every year for every holiday, I went out of my way to buy the same gifts for Erik as I did for my first life and rewrote all of my letters to him. I never sent one thing out and unhealthily continued to collect the box of memories that never happened. Even if Erik would nevere to know of them, I never wanted to forget that I once loved him or that my efforts from back then were all futile... Chapter 16: Comfortable Chapter 16: Comfortable I was waiting for either Garett or Charlotte to swing by the Library before I would begin eating. It''s quiet... My life was surrounded by nothing but turmoil and noise. I thought I would get peace and quiet from a Library. It was all the same... I soon felt arge tremor and the sound of multiple stepsing this way. I got up to see what the him. He had sped my mouth with his hand and pushed me onto the ground. Ow... The stampede went over. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . "Sorry about that," the boy said as he turned towards me. His sapphire-colored eyes reminded me of the boy I met in Exurbia Library before... Wait! It was him! He was the Second Prince of Nariel...I had a difficulty in recognizing him. because he sprouted a whole twenty centimeters and added more muscle on him. I covered my face. "It''s fine," I said as I quickly went to hide my face behind a book. For some reason, he kept following me around. I began darting around the library, until he caught me at a dead end. "You keep running away from me," he said as he pressed me against the wall and mmed his hand beside me. "It is your imagination..." He took he book out of my hands. "I knew it was you, Miss Fairy. Did you change your habitat?" "I happen to go here..." "Even fairies need an education?" "We are burdened by many responsibilities in Fairy Land," I said curtly as I averted my gaze and slipped underneath his arm. "This game of chase is so fun," he said as he continued following me. The chase continued on to the hallway. I thought that I would have to run forever, until I saw Garett. I felt the need to hide behind his back. "Whoa!" Garett said as I clung to him from behind. "...Just for now, could you stay still?" I asked him quietly. "Who are you to Miss Fairy?" Second Prince Nariel asked Garett. "Hah? Fairy?" Garett said questionably in an irritated tone. "He means me," I whispered to him. "This person is...It is just one after the other for you, isn''t it?" Garett asked after a soft sigh. "I''m sorry..." I said anxiously. "...I am her Guardian," Garett answered. "With such a mean look, you mean Guard Dog, right?" Second Prince Nariel said. Garett seemed more irritated than usual. "It seems that we have to settle this like men," Garett said as he seemed to drop his shoulders. "Oho? It seems the doggy has more bite to it than I thought," Second Prince Nariel said as he geared up to fight. They are not really going to fight, are they? Garett grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the window. There was a crowd of girls just waiting outside. "Second Prince Nariel is alone outside of the Library!" Garett announced in a loud voice. "You! I will remember this!" Second Prince Nariel shouted. Second Prince Nariel began running as the girls began swarming in one after the other. Garett pulled me to his side so that I would not be trampled by the fierce crowd. "Thank you," I told Garett. "If anyone else bothers you like that, juste to me again...This method is the best way in getting rid of annoying people like him." Garett is sure dependable... This sense offort I feel towards Garett is a bit unsettling at the same time. Is it because I have not met many people that I feelfortable with? Before I knew it, half a year has gone by since I came to Nariel. Charlotte was doing her gardening club activities during lunch while Garett and I were alone in the library. I was doing my usual watching of Prince Erik from the second story window of the library. There is one odd thing that I havee to notice...I have never seen Garett associate with Prince Erik. Prince Erik is the light and princely type, while Garett is the stern but kind type. They are still cousins, so I expected they would at least say something to each other. "It seems that even you will have stalker tendencies as well," Garett said as he opened his book. "If you stare any longer, they will feel a hole burrow through them." I suddenly felt embarrassed. "Was I staring that long?" "...You were not particrly slick." I had only known about Erik from the time he was a child, then his teen years, and adult years. I missed out on knowing about this void period. He changed so much when I saw him again as a teenager, so of course I cannot help being a little curious. "I was just curious." "About who?" "Someone close, yet so far..." "Prince of Arundel," Garett said suddenly. I felt as though I jumped out of my skin. "...What a strange person to bring up?" "He fits those descriptions." "Do you know him personally?" I asked as I sat across from him. Their rtionship as cousins seemed to be hidden. I never pried much into their rtionship in my first life, but these two do make me curious. "...No, just as much as the next person," he said as he closed his book and opened another one. Aloof as ever. "Prince Erik reminds me of one of those princes within fairytales." "He is dreamlike then?" "Yes, an ethereal dream..." Even in my memories, Erik seemed like the perfect prince for the most part. When we were alone, he would show his true self. I loved being the only one who knew of his true side... "You must be a dreamer then," Garett said. I felt as though my body snapped back to reality. "That may be so...I like remembering pretty things and keeping ugly things far away from me. I suppose that makes me a selfish human being as well." "...I think that most people are like that. We avert ourselves from our own ugliness and try to pass it onto others," Garett said as he closed his book and started on another book. "I was a bit surprised that someone as level as you would also fall for such princely looks like the other girls." "I actually prefer someone who thinks realistically as well...They are easier to reason with and talk to. Besides, looks will only get you through things for a while before they lose their splendor." "I do not think you are anyone to talk..." "Aren''t you rather handsome as well, Garett?" I talked back to him. Ah, slip of the tongue... I almost sound like I am flirting with him. I suppose Garett also indirectly called me good looking as well... Charlotte came in at that moment. "I am back! Oh my...You two both have your noses in a book. As I thought, you two need me to liven things up," Charlotte said. Charlotte''s natural airhead self is what the world needs. Praise to her for breaking the awkward silence. Chapter 17: Finally, Twelve Chapter 17: Finally, Twelve I was finally twelve. Unlike everyone else, I had already gone through the awkwardness of first-time puberty. I felt as though I had slightly moved beyond my members of peerage. Time feels as if it is going by slowly, which I prefer. When I am at the school library or Exurbia Library, I feel the mostfortable... For my birthday, I went outside in a white one piece to see Charlotte. We were going shopping together for the whole afternoon. We were supposed to go out with Garett, but he was able to hide from Charlotte''s radar. Charlotte''s stoic maid Pika came instead to watch over us as we shopped around. Charlotte and I made a stop at a cafe. "Happy Birthday, Arielle!" She handed me a small beautifully wrapped box with a red ribbon and flower decoration. "Thank you, Char..." "Anything for my Arielle! Open it! Open it!" Charlotte often reminds me of a golden retriever from how cute and spirited she is. I liked how there was a striking contrast in our personalities. She was bright and fun, while I was slightly more mellow and muted. I am very thankful that I was able to meet Charlotte a second time because she brings me light and life to me in my second life. I opened the present and found a popr face powder and a rosepact for a rouge lip balm application. "It''s beautiful," I said as I admired the mirror that apanied thepact. "I got the face powder from one of those Easterners. Apparently, this brand does not make people sick or young women die early! Your skin is already beautiful, but this will make your skin glisten." Since I eventually got into makeup, I found out several ways to manufacture it without the annoying smell of chemicals. I could make a better-quality powder at home myself with the right materials. I should make a sample for myself and Charlotte to use one day. "I love it," I told Charlotte. "Thank you... Charlotte, I''m d you came to Nariel for me. You are the best friend I could ever ask for." Charlotte gave me a strong hug. "Of course!" See? She''s cute. I invited Charlotte back with me to Exurbia Library where we were both greeted by a surprise. "Happy Birthday!" Everyone said. They had all gifted me a beautiful opal broach with gold details. I could not help but think it went rather well with my aunt''s gift which was arge ribbon necktie with a golden border design. I thanked them all with my biggest smile. "Happy Birthday..." Garett was a bit quiet due to his awkward appearance of wearing fake cat ears. "A cat?" I said as I tilted my head slightly. Garett exploded with anger and threw the streamer device onto the ground. "She looks surprised from this stupid get up!" Garett screeched at Maura and the rest. "I would rather clean up the cer than do this!" Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org. "ept your fate because you identally damaged an expensive book," Maura ordered. "It was a fake book that she made," someone whispered in my ear. "How evil," I said quietly. "How fun!" Charlotte said. Maura pushed Garett towards me. "Do it!" Maura ordered excitedly. Garett seemed tone shaking with anger and averted his gaze from me. His real ears were tinged red a deep red color. "Garett, if you are ufortable, I will try my best to avoid looking at you," I assured him. He clenched his fists. "...No, um...W-Will you...Will you let me be your pet for tub-way!" Garett said loudly. He then proceeded with a quiet, "Meow." He fumbled his words and did a cat call... I soon heard the sound of someoneughing semi-quietly and realized that it was me. I had never found myselfughing to the point where I could feel it from my stomach. My birthday was very fun and full ofughs. There was probably not one birthday I had before in my first or second life that could match up to this party. Chapter 18: Rain Chapter 18: Rain Rainy days are essential, especially for warm and sunny climates. Nariel receives rain particrly four months of the year and over a hundred and fifty days in a whole year. Today just happens to be one of those rainy days. I can clearly smell the humid air and hear each individual drop of rain as it hits the ground. It is calming...almost a bit too much. The usually bustling library was quiet. Only the steps of the staff could be heard. I expected as much since the rainfall was especially heavy today. I only had a few simple tasks for today and was made to close all of the windows before my next break. I had finished my task and found myself reading another book in the back of the library. "Ari...Arielle..." I could hear someone''s voice calling my name. I opened my eyes and saw my hand stroking a familiar blonde head. We were bothying down beside each other in a bed of white sheets. "...Erik?" "Who did you think it was?" he asked with a teasing tone. He smiled and removed my hand from his head. "You must really like my hair." His hair reminds me of the sun, so full of light and glistening... "I''m sorry..." "I don''t mind whenever you touch me," he said as he pulled my palm towards his lips and kissed my hand. "I would prefer it if you touched me more often." I felt embarrassed and retracted my hand. "...There will be no more of that." "I think it''s fair since you were the one who cutely begged me to hold you until dawnst night..." I quickly closed off his mouth with my hands. "I did no such thing..." He removed my hands and rolled over on top of me. "Shall I remind you then?" Erik asked with a sly smile as he caresses my thighs. I pouted at him. I soon felt the need to touch his face. I held his face in my hand. He was warm. ...Why would he not be? "You are warm..." "Of course, I am. Ari is warm too," he said as he lightly brushed my neck. "When I touch you lightly like this, you get very warm..." "Erik is too perverse..." "All men are like this before the woman they like...In my case, I love you a lot, so of course my love would be more intense." It feels like I have not heard him say that in a long time. "...Erik, are you happy?" I asked him suddenly. He looked at me oddly and then slightly scrunched his eyebrows. I felt his knee graze against my inner thigh. "...Are you checking to see if I am potent? I think you know as well as I do how sturdy I am. Even right now, I am rearing to go." "I am not talking about that!" This idiot... Erik''s warm lips fell over my eyes and my lips. He stared at me closely with loving eyes. "I am very happy...More importantly, are you happy?" "Yes, I am," I said as I closed my eyes as I prepared myself for another kiss. "I see...Are you going to let me die a second time then?" Erik asked in a cold tone. I soon felt warm droplets fall on my face. I opened my eyes and saw Erik bleeding from his eyes and mouth. Even though he was bleeding, he still had a smile on his face. It was an empty smile since I could not feel any of his kindness at all. "Erik, you are bleeding!" "Its your fault..." "My fault?" Erik narrowed his eyes at me. "You forgot about me." "I never forgot about you," I quickly replied. Erik grabbed both of my wrists and pressed me to the bed. "...My Angel...How easily you lie with your pretty little face...I know about it all, about what you are doing. You say that you want to save me, and here you are making happy memories with all these new people. Did I really mean that little to you?" "No! You mean all the world to me." "Ever since you came back, you would always be thinking about me..." "I still do to the point where I go mad!" "Not as much anymore...What happened to living for me? I died protecting you. Does that count for anything? You selfishly gave up the life I wanted to save and killed yourself off with my unborn child," Erik said cruelly. Each of his words cut into me like a knife. I felt like dying after each word. "...I did not want to live in a world without you." I soon felt a pressure on my neck. Erik was strangling me. "You didn''t die...Lucky you, Arielle. You were granted a second life and your own mother came back. Now, you are spending it indulging in your own wishes while forgetting about me. I guess you want to abandon me just like our child," Erik said with a cruel facial expression. "I think about you two everyday...How could I ever be fine without you two?" "You are now living in a worldpletely fine without me. Why not tell the truth? You don''t love me anymore." "That is not true..." "...Did you ever really love me?" "I *** love you." I was suddenly surprised by my own words. "You see...I was right." My heart felt as if it had shattered when I saw Erik''s saddened face. "No, I did not mean it like that..." "Why did I have to die for someone like you?" "I''m..." "If you are truly feel guilty, you have to think of me every second of the day from now on," Erik said as he whispered in my ear. "If you don''t, I will never forgive you..." "No..." "Ari is more beautiful when you are surrounded in madness..." I want to die so badly. Erik''s cold tone only drove me further in to madness... "Ari...Arielle!" I felt my body being shaken with great force. The one before me was the younger Garett. "Garett?" A dream? No, a nightmare... "Are you alright, Arielle?" I rubbed my head. "Was I doing something?" "You were crying in your sleep...You are still crying..." "I am crying?" I said as I touched my face. I was still leaking from my eyes. My chest felt painful as if it was going to beat out of my chest. "Why does it not stop?" Garett pulled me into his embrace and hugged me tightly. "Whatever you are holding in, you can let it out for now..." This person is really too kind... Letting go of my feelings for this moment? ...An evil thought went through my mind. "...Garett, I will ask you to do something very cruel and I want you to ept it." "...Fine," he answered. I took a shaky breath in as I told him the words that sounded like a curse. "Please let me call you Erik...and please forgive me." I am well aware that this person is not Erik. He is just someone who looks just like Erik. I am selfishly using him for my own satisfaction in calming myself... "You are right...That is very cruel thing to ask," he said as he hugged me tightly. I shakily ced my hands around him and held him tightly. I uttered the curse and became the cruelest person on earth that day. I ced myself in my room for three whole days after that. Without eating or sleeping, I justid there in my bed without doing anything. It got to the point where they had Charlottee in from my window. "Arielle, are you alright?" she asked. I got up from my bed and saw Charlotte in my room. "Charlotte...?" "What is the big idea locking yourself up in your room for?" I felt like crying again. "I''m sorry..." "There, there," she said as she reached to me in a flustered state and threw her arms around me. I began exining to her about everything... Who I met, what I went through, how I died, how I got another chance at starting over, and about the cruel things that I did to Garett. Charlotte only kindly listened to me in silence. "I am sorry for not telling you sooner..." Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org. "It''s fine to go at your own pace...It may sound strangeing from someone who is almost a decade younger than you, but I really think that you should do what you think is right. No one will condemn you as much as you think they would," Charlotte said. "I think the older me would say the same thing because she and I both love you so much." "...What do I do? My heart is in a turmoil?" I asked Charlotte as I held my face in my hands. "You worry too much by yourself... That is why you had those dreams. The Prince Erik you loved is not the same one that is living now. They may look the same, sound the same, and talk the same, but they are different people. You are different as well. I think it is fine for you to forgive yourself. However, after you do, you need to apologize to that person before moving on," Charlotte said as she hugged me. Charlotte helped me get me back on my feet. "Thank you for everything, Charlotte..." I opened the door to the library and met everyone. I apologized to everyone for worrying them and then I went to find Garett who was sorting out books in the furthest most part of the library. He was standing on adder and putting back a book when I called out to him. "Garett..." "Ari¨C" He got startled from me calling out to him suddenly and fell off thedder. I had reached out to him, but he still fell anyways. Garett avoided injuries from having books fall, while I had Garett cushion my fall with his chest. "Are you alright?" I asked Garett as I got off of him. "I am fine. I was just a bit startled," he said as he rubbed his head. I held out my hand towards him. He took my hand and I helped pull him up. He let go of my hand, but I had not yet released him. "You can let go now..." I squeezed his hand. "I am deeply sorry for what I did to you." "If it is about that, I am not bothered by it..." "That is a lie... I know about how kind you are. You are the kind of person who would lie to spare my feelings... What I did to you was unforgivable. You are no one but yourself and I know that, but I still want your forgiveness," I said. Garett covered my hand with his other hand. "I think I am the one who gets to decide whether to forgive you or not. I am deciding to forgive you. It will leave a bad taste in my mouth if I never do..." I felt like tearing up again. "Garett..." "Ah, don''t cry again," Garett said as he released my hand and took out his handkerchief. I did not want to sully his beautiful handkerchief, so I sucked in my tears. "I''ll do my best not to." "Come on...Comfort her like a real man," Maura said softly. Garett and I both looked to the side and saw that everyone was watching us from the side. "We didn''t mean to see," Charlotte said. "We got worried when we heard such a loud sound." We were both very embarrassed. I felt like crying again for other reasons. "Please lend me your handkerchief again," I told Garett as I covered my face with my hands. Chapter 19: Refusal Chapter 19: Refusal I was called up to the Headmaster''s office one day without any information as to why I was being called up. When I opened the door, I saw Charlotte and six other people that I had never met before all lined up. Charlotte waved at me when she saw me walk in. I stood beside Charlotte and faced Headmaster Ingram. "We are missing two more people," Headmaster Ingram said as sheced her fingers over. She seems irritated. Just then, Prince Erik and the Second Prince of Nariel walked in. My heart and body felt unsettled upon seeing Erik walk in. My entire body shook with fear as I remembered the cruel Erik from my dream. "Are you going to let me die a second time then?" Erik asked. A shiver ran down my spine. Charlotte grabbed my hand and held it behind her back. This person is not my Erik. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . I calmed myself down as I squeezed Charlotte''s hand back. This person is not my Erik. I repeated the spell as if it were a chant. For now, just die...my feelings for you... The Prince of Nariel made his way towards me and stood beside me with a gleeful expression. If only Garett was here... I soon shook my head. This is bad...I am bing one of those overly reliant women on others. It is because Garett keeps spoiling me because he is a true gentleman even though his mouth is not where everything else is at. Even I am not dense enough to not notice everything Garett has done for me. I will end up relying on him for everything at this rate... "Since everyone is finally here," Headmaster Ingram said as she held up a poster, "I would like everyone here to participate in a special event at the Fall Ball. Midway, we will have all of you paired up and dancing with each other in the center of the dance hall while the rest of the student body watch along the sidelines. There will be a rotation in partners several times for a total of three songs, so everyone will experience dancing with at least two other people. Keep in mind the couple dance will only be between male and female partners." "...Oh darn," Charlotte said under her breath. A male raised his hand and asked, "Is there a particr reason why the people present here were chosen?" "There are a total of four grade levels. For each grade level, we had the top scorers of both male and females arrive here. Normally, we would only have four couples. However, we are gifted with the presence of our country''s crown prince as well this year, so there will be five couples," Headmaster Ingram said. Top scores? I had not really checked my scores sinceing here. I thought I was around mid-ranged, but to be considered one of the top of my grade level? Charlotte raised her hand. "I did not score at the top in my grade level," Charlotte said. "The young miss beside me is the top scorer of our grade level. I just wanted to know why I am here." "With our prince, we were in need of another young female. We chose a female student at random. However, we could not possibly choose someonecking in looks, so we only chose out of the most beautiful girls within the school." "Will we get to choose our partners?" a female asked. Headmaster Ingram hung arge poster. "There will be rehearsals for this, so I may not be the best to exin this...The couples will be like this, where the males are aligned in a circle. The girls are able to choose any of them and dance with them until the song is over. When the song is near the end, there will be some shuffling, but the males will stay in a circle position. Do not worry about finding your exact ce...As for partner rotations, the girls will move in a clockwork rotation and got to their next dance partner. There is a chance that you may end up with the same partner again, so be aware." Does this mean that I could possibly end up with Prince Erik as a dance partner? "I heard that the Fall Ball is a masquerade ball," Charlotte asked. "How will we find out who our partners are?" "I have designed ten white masks for all of you. Design them as you wish. Only these ten people will have white masks. When ites time for you all to dance, we will do an announcement before then. Any further questions may be taken with your other rehearsal instructors," Headmaster Ingram said as she sat down. I raised my hand and asked, "Is there any way to opt out of this?" Headmaster Ingram''s eyes widened along with almost everyone in the room. Nobles value these kinds of events... "I apologize, but this is mandatory... You are all the pride of our school. When the other students see you all get special attention, they will also try their best to get to where you all are. I hope that you will all ept this troublesome task." This seems like a lot of work for something with little reward... I released Charlotte''s hand and drew an ''A'' into her palm. Charlotte then smiled at me. Charlotte raised her hand. "Yes, Lady Castile?" Headmaster Ingram called. "I believe that it is wonderful to gain recognition from the school as well as envy from our peers, yet the reward seems far too little for our efforts," Charlotte said with her usual innocent expression. Headmaster Ingram seemed rather intrigued by Charlotte''s remark. "Lady Castile is certainly right... I was nning on keeping this a surprise forter, but I will tell you all now. A specialized team of dressmakers and tailors will arrive at the school and handle all of your clothes from scratch for the ball. Afterwards, you are all free to keep them for your own use." Specialized clothing, especially clothes suited for a ball, are much more expensive than regr already made dresses. For high society, no one would ever think of reusing an old dress or would probably opt to buying expensive dresses for just one day. This is a pretty good deal if we can get this for just dancing to three songs... Charlotte did not seem excited about Headmaster Ingram''s proposal. "I thought we were the pride of the school. For us to be given so little..." Charlotte said. She soon pretended to gasp. "Oh my... I said it out loud by ident." "Are you saying that it is not enough, Lady Castile?" Headmaster Ingram asked. "Forgive me if I sound rude, having a specially tailored outfit does not really make us special. This school is mostly consisted of upper ss and wealthy nobles. One would expect to have their families already prepare a specially tailored outfit for an extravagant event. This is especially true for royalty attending this school like the Crown Prince here who probably has all of his clothes specifically tailored for him," Charlotte said as she narrowed her eyes. She began looking more and more like a dirty business tycoon. "I have connections... I will set you all up with royal dressmakers and tailors," Headmaster Ingram said with a smile. Charlotte soon gave her usual smile. "Correct me if I am wrong... This dance is to show off our academic excellence, am I wrong?" "No, you are correct, Lady Castile." "We would all like to keep our top spots. Even maintaining our grades require efforts outside of the ssroom. With rehearsals, our time spent studying will surely decrease. It will be more difficult to maintain our top spots for the next time there is another event for awarding our excellence. Shouldn''t we be offered a buffer? It should not be that easy to obtain top spots after all." Charlotte... "Very well... I will offer 10 points towards your next exam." "10 measly points will not help defer that much... I believe 30 points is reasonable." Now, Charlotte is being just greedy... "True... People will question if I rigged the top scores if I epted that. I will offer 20 points and three vacation passes that are useable all throughout the year including exam days." "Headmaster Ingram is so generous!" Charlotte said with a smile. "People are a resource... I intend to work you all thoroughly, so be prepared," Headmaster Ingram said. We were soon all excused. Charlotte and I were thest people in the office. "Lady Castile is much smarter than your rank suggests," Headmaster Ingram said. "Why hide it?" "I heard that if you act less smart than your husband, he will be easier to controlter on," Charlotte said with an innocent smile. Headmaster Ingram let out a smallugh. "What a strong-minded youngdy... Lady Arielle too... I wonder who the real Garett Maniptor is?" Headmaster Ingram said. "Who knows?" I answered her with a smile. Charlotte is a genius even though she does not act like it. She often gets bored with things like tests, so she often fills her answer sheets to where she will get an above average grade and all of her answers will always be right. I draw an ''A'' on her hand as a secret code to tell her to bring out her alpha personality. "Arielle, spoil me!" Charlotte said as she threw her arms around me. I pat her head gently. I have to spoil her like this every time I make her expend her energy... Chapter 20: Practice Chapter 20: Practice Preparing for my first debut ball in my first life... Step. "Ow..." I identally stepped on Erik''s toes for maybe the fifth time. "I''m sorry," I told Erik. "It''s fine... Love can get me through anything," Erik said. Ah, he is pale... "...If love could get us through anything, we would not need doctors or other religions," Garett said. "Wee back," Erik told Garett. "...Yeah. Have you two been dancing for so long?" Garett asked. "We just started a half an hour ago," Erik answered. "From the looks of your shoes, it looks like you have taken quite the beating..." I had no words to deny it. I released Erik''s hands. "I think I will go back to my previous instructor..." "Switch over to me," Garett said as he moved in between us. He impertinently grabbed my hands without any warning and positioned them onto himself. He then ced his hand by my waist and pulled me in much closer. "You have to be around this distance." It was a bit too close for myfort, but I suppose that is what dancing with another person is like. The music soon began ying. I felt as though I was being led strongly by Garett. Erik was so gentle with teaching me before. The difference made it difficult for me to catch up. I soon made a mistake and overstepped when I was not supposed to. I thought that I would step on Garett''s toes, but missed by a hair. "Phew..." "Let me teach you as well, Prince Erik... When she makes a mistake, you must avoid it and retaliate," Garett said as he stepped down on my toes. I flinched from the pain. "...You are too cruel, Garett," Erik said. "They say that when the gentle approach does not work, it is better to learn through pain," Garett said coldly. "Lady Wordsworth?" my dance partner called out to me. "Yes?" I answered him as I snapped back to reality. My dance partner was a senior. He already had experience in dancing. It was not his first time being a representative either. "I was calling you for a while, Lady Wordsworth..." "My apologies... I am used to being called that." "May I have the pleasure of calling you by your given name then?" "...Of course." "You can also call me by my name, Glen Elsie." All of the first years were to be trained by elder students. The other students were getting tutoring lessons from the other instructors. About halfway, we would switch and repeat the process. Senior Glen happened to ask for my hand first. Glen Elise was the previous student council president. He retired from his positionst year. He was gifted looks of having chestnut brown hair and peridot green eyes and much charisma. In short, he is a capable man with also good looks. "Yes..." Charlotte was dragging her partner around with her strength and refusal to yield to another man. A female instructor soon came by to scold Charlotte for her actions. "Are you alright?" he asked. "Did I happen to make a mistake?" "No, you dance rather splendidly for someone daydreaming." I forgot I was in the middle of dancing... "I could not help but recall a distant memory." "You move rather well on your feet. Do you happen to have experience dancing?" I looked over at Prince Erik. He was dancing with a senior girl that happened to fancy his looks. "It''s my first time..." "Lady Arielle, did you happen to know of the jinx that the couple that receives thest dance together during the intermission will end up as lovers?" My ears perked up. "No, I do not believe in jinxes like that..." "...If we end up a couple, would you start believing in them by then?" He got my full attention when he moved his hand from my shoulder de to my lower back and pulled me closer to him. "...S-Senior." "You broke formation for a moment," he said deviously. He did not seem like moving his hand anytime soon. I decided to press on despite feeling slightly ufortable. "Senior Glen is a jester..." "I think that I am a rather serious person. I have my eye on you since you first came to this school. We were in different grade levels, and you happened to always hide away somewhere during your breaks. I would have never thought that I would have the chance of seeing you here or having you in my arms like this." "...The masquerade ball is exactly as it says. It is a costume party. I would not be able to identify you even if I could." "How about a hint? I will be wearing some kind of ''gold'' somewhere on my body." "Senior, it is not nice to tease me too much..." "I suppose that I am just a bit excited. I just want to share myst dance with you in a beautiful ball gown. I would be honored if you would choose me as your dance partner," Senior Glen Elise said as he kissed the back of my hand and separated from me. When I saw Crown Prince of Nariel on my way to the library, I tried jumping out of a window "How about leaving through the front door, my fairdy?" Prince Nariel asked. I slowly came back into the hallway. "I have been caught..." "What a wild youngdy... Shall we have a talk?" he suggested with a smile. I sighed. "It is your win, Curious Prince," I said. I followed him to the flower garden where a table and a pair of chairs were set up coincidentally. He pulled out my chair for me and poured out a cup of tea for me. I am doing something rather crazy to have the Crown Prince serving me tea and having him sitting across from me. "I was under the misunderstanding that you were a fairy. It turns out that you are a student attending here." "It just so happened that fairies need an education." The Prince chuckled. "We have met each other several times, but yet we have not formally. I am the Ryder Seles Zafiro. Does Miss Fairy have a name, or do you prefer being called that?" "Here, I am called Arielle Ira Wordsworth." "Arielle? What a beautiful name." I felt a bit ufortable with him staring so deep into me. "Your Highness, I believe there are many other people that you would prefer to spend your time with..." "Arielle, I hope that you choose me as your dance partner... You do not have to choose me as yourst partner. I just want at least one dance with you. One dance does not mean that people will be a couple. If I can get anything out of it, I get a dance with the youngdy that I fell for at first sight." My heart skipped a beat. Why does my young heart trouble me so? Within a week the ball is going to proceed. I am left with only perplexed feelings. "Your book is upside down," Garett said. "Huh?" I looked down at my hands and saw that he was right. I finally had some time to myself again. I spent my time in the library after a long time away. Prince Erik only showed up during the first practice. I never saw him again and I probably won''t until the day of the ball where it is mandatory to attend. "You look lost more than usual," Garett said. "I think I am just tired." Having multiple men wanting my affection is more stressful than books may suggest. I have no idea how Kaya Ouchi was able to handle the pressure. Rather, she chose to answer all of their affections... "Aren''t you popr?" Garett said without lifting his eyes from his book. ...Does he know? "...With what may I ask?" "...Three men, huh?" My heart dropped. He knows... "How did you find out?" "There are rumors that the previous student council president and the Crown Prince are fancying a girl that has caught their eye. You are a rather mysterious individual, so some think that it must be you. I thought that since you caught the eye of the Crown Prince before, the previous student council president may have fallen under your charms as well... However, the one you have your eye on is that Prince of Arundel," Garett concluded. This person blessed with intelligence... "I would have thought for sure that you would be the top scorer for the tests..." "I am." "How did you get out of the representative dance?" "I told Headmaster Ingram that it would be better publicity to just use the famous two princes of our school. In return, I received a pass that allows me to leave ss whenever I want." There was that option... I should have reviewed other students. I would have had a recement by now if I did so. "Does that mean that you can bypass the dance?" "...Unfortunately, it is mandated by the school." I felt slightly relieved that Garett was going to be there. "I see... You are going to attend too..." "What are you going to do?" Garett asked me. "About what?" "You have to choose one of them. There are five guys. You will be dancing for three songs and cannot possibly dance with the same person more than once. Even if you dance with two strangers, you will have to undoubtedly dance with one of the big three in the end." I sometimes feel like Garett may be just my conscience andys all my worries out in front of me. "That is true..." "Why not just pick one randomly?" "Random?" "It''s a masquerade ball. Everyone will wear masks. The most distinctive way to tell those particr three apart is by their hair color, but they might wear wigs. The only thing that you can do is check their eye colors if you are close enough... Leave it up to fate. You might end up with your favorite prince if you are lucky." "I don''t have those kind of intentions..." "I was a joke... It''s just a dance anyways." Even this Garett is able to make jokes... or he sensed my uneasiness? "A dance... That''s all it is." That''s right... a dance is all that it is. I was returning to one of my ssrooms when I saw Prince Erik at ground level. I quickly crouched down when I thought our eyes met. As I thought, it''s impossible for me to hold my confidence around him...Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. Chapter 21: Dressed Chapter 21: Dressed "Wee back, Arielle!" my aunt said she wrapped her arms around me as soon as she opened her doors to see me. "It is good to see you in good health, Lady Bernadette." "Arielle is so formal... It probably has to do with my sister''s teachings." "I only received the same education as Lady Bernadette and my mother did. It is due to my own personality that I take things a bit too seriously at times." To appease my aunt, I was to swing by her house at least once every two weeks or so when I am not busy. I already came by her house this week but had toe again to see my dress get delivered to her home. "You came just in time! Your dress was delivered not too long ago," Lady Bernadette said as she grabbed my hand and dragged me inside. We were to prepare two dresses. One dress was for entering and another dress that would have to be a ball gown would be worn during intermission. The specific requirements were that we needed a dress to make us stand out. In order to avoid color shing, Charlotte and I and the other girls from the office drew lots for the color of our ball gowns. The color of our first dress was not really as important. I drew the card for a white dress. White dress does not really mean that it has to bepletely white. There can be other things like jewels or ribbons of other colors mixed onto the dress. I opted for in dresses for both of them. I looked over at a room filled with flowers without stems. Did my aunt brutally go out and behead hundreds of flowers? "...Pruning?" I asked my aunt. She took a few flowers out and showed it to me. "No, silly. These are artificial flowers that I made by hand. Beautiful, right? I was going to go around decorating my house with them, but it appears that I have made a bit too much. Now, I am at a loss at Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. what I should do with them." "They are certainly beautiful..." I heard Lady Bernadette was a very skilled artistic genius. To think she could recreate something so beautiful even if it was an imitation... "Would you like some?" Lady Bernadette asked with arge smile on her face. "I think such flowers would be wasted on me as a home decoration. They would be lovely as an essory or something simr." "What a wonderful idea!" We were soon at the room of where the dresses were being held. Dressed on two mannequins were two very different dresses. The first dress was a dark navy-blue dress with an illusion halter neck, sweetheart neckline, and an asymmetrical skirt. The second dress was a long white ball gown with an A-line tulle skirt and a V-neck tulle ruche off-the-shoulder bodice. Both the dresses were far from simple. "Lady Bernadette, I believe there was a mistake." "There is no mistake. These are your dresses. I received them before and thought that they were too simple for my niece, so I tweaked it just a bit." I am going to stand out way more than I would like to... My dress waster transferred to the hall where the other dresses would be held. I had draped over my ball gown with a nket and kept my other dress at home. I came back just the day before the dance after rehearsal to check up on my dress because I had a bad feeling. Sure enough, my dress had arge red paint stter over the bodice and skirt. Jealousy is such a scary thing. When I was with Erik, I received some opposition as well... To fix this dress, I do not know if it is possible to reverse this anymore. My aunt came to visit me suddenly. "Arielle, I forgot to get you your essories. I came to check up on you..." It did not faze me as much as I thought it would, but when I saw how heartbroken she was, my heart dropped. I quickly grabbed her shoulders. "We can fix this... I just need your help, Auntie." "If it is anything I can help with!" I gave her the excuse that I was the one who identally did it. I would not want my aunt worrying about the possibility I was being bullied here. She is the type who would raise Hell on earth... My aunt was heartbroken to see the dress she worked so hard on to get ruined like this. "Do you think she will show?" "What a cheeky freshman..." Cheeky? I will show you what being cheeky is really about. The music began ying. All of the other girls along with Charlotte went down first after fixing my makeup along with the gentlemen. I readjusted my mask as I went down by myself. As I expected, all eyes were on me along with the girls that thought that they had ended me. I had missed the first half due to me trying to fix my dress with what limited time I had. Charlotte also helped along with my aunt and her servants. We designed a totally unique dress with the flower appliqu¨¦s that my aunt made. The red stains never really got out, so we decided on dyeing some parts of the dress a very light pink and creating an ombr¨¦ effect upon my suggestion. The term ombr¨¦ was not in use yet at this time period, but with crunch time I had to pull the idea out in order to create a faded effect with the addition of smaller flower appliqu¨¦s scattered randomly over the skirt and major areas that where the stains were. Around the neckline and off the shoulder sleeves, we usedrger flowers. The flowers for my dress were originally white, but my aunt liked the idea of the ombr¨¦ effect, so she also used the same concept for the flowers and made the tips red and fade to light pink. My aunt also created my essories and made a rose choker with dangling pearls. She lost a lot of sleep yesterday, so I had Charlotte help with my hair and makeup. Charlotte colored the lids of my eyes a slightly pink color and created a gradient effect over my lips with a deep red color and tied up my hair prettily with arge flower ornament. I was rather impressed by Charlotte''s work. She even colored the ends of my hair with some red eyeshadow. Charlotte is indeed the epitome of femininity. I held my head high as I walked down a flight of stairs. Before me, I could see five very different looking men with hairstyles very different from their usual styles. It finally urred to me again that this would not end with just showing up. I had to dance as well¡­ Chapter 22: Mask Chapter 22: Mask A gentleman with long red hair, purple and ck suit with double breasted buttons, and a red mantle draping his right shoulder approached me. I took his hand and was pulled into a dance. "Second Prince Ryder, your hands should be higher," I corrected him. "Miss Fairy is rather good at guessing. You remind me of the first time I met you. Still the ethereal beauty as you once were..." Children have a rather smooth tongue in this time period. "Long hair suits you, Your Highness." "They are extensions made from my real hair. I often use them in ceremonies or big events, but does it really suit me?" "Indeed." "Should I grow my hair out for you?" This Prince... a line like that will not move me. "...Would you shave your head if someone told you to?" "Certainly, if that person is you. I would even hand you the razors." I could not help butugh a little. My next partner was a male with xen hair and a white and blue uniform. The mask contained dark shades which were ced in the eye sockets. If we were to only judge him by his hair, he looks exactly like Prince Erik. For my heart, I felt uneasy. Before I knew it, I was already taken into a dance with the masked stranger. My heart eventually calmed down. This person was not Prince Erik. "Senior Glen..." "I''m surprised... Lady Arielle is the first one to guess correctly. I am a bit curious. What gave me away?" "You are left-handed..." "Excuse me?" "Left handedness is frowned upon in this region due to the strong religious beliefs in this region that believe left handedness is linked to whether a person is evil or not. Senior Glen is from a region where The Churches influences have not reached yet, so handedness is not scrutinized as much over where you live." "You have heard of my hometown?" "I have seen that you will asionally bring your left hand out first when greeting people. Upon remembering that you lent out your left hand, you would also bring out your right hand within that split second. The person in front of you would not think much about having their hand shaken with both hands other than the fact that you shook their hand with both of your hands to cover the fact that you were indeed left-handed." "That is still not enough to tell whether I am left-handed or not." "Are you aware of the rules of etiquette in asking ady''s hand for a dance?" "Of course. I offered my hand first, did I not?" "Men typically have stronger left hands even though only ten percent of the poption is actually left- handed. People generally use their less dominant hand in order to perform simpler tasks. In the rules of etiquette, the gentleman is supposed to offer his left hand... Now, which hand did you offer to me?" "...My right?" "It was your left," I answered him. "Senior Glen expressed proper etiquette in every way. I lied about knowing your habits or knowing where you came from." "Oh? How did you guess that I was left-handed then?" Senior Glen asked me with a smile. "You certainly had me on a ruse." "It was your tie. Assuming that you dress yourself... You can tell a lot about a person by their clothes and how they wear it." "You are just a bundle of joy." We bid each other goodbye to our next dance. Three dances seemed to be rather long to me. It will end with the next time around anyways... Senior Glen was the only gentleman amongst the five that had blonde hair. This means that Prince Erik was also wearing a wig. I wonder which one is him... I cannot exactly use the same trick for when I guessed Senior Glen. My next partner was a male with glistening long silver hair, a navy blue- and white-cor suit with a checkered vest. His eyes were also covered by ck shades. Compared to the other two I danced with, there was a beauty of refinement in the way he moved and his posture. When I noticed how long I was staring at him, I quickly turned away. I should really get out of my bad habit of observing people excessively... Not everyone isfortable with being analyzed. I wonder why I felt sofortable with his dancing...He was a skilled dancer indeed, but there was something more from him that kept pulling me to him. Nheless, trying to start a conversation with a stranger is something that even I am not that brave enough to do. Before I knew it, couples began joining in on the dance floor. We all no longer had the space all to ourselves. I felt our space between each other was slowly decreasing. "...Your hair is loose." I saw how my hair was unraveling...This was probably because of haste job. "Thank you for telling me," I said as I broke our hold. He escorted me across the ballroom and had caught my fallen flower ornament. My hair unraveledpletely and settled in soft waves. "Allow me to fix it," he said as he casually ced the ornament back in my hair. Thankfully everyone''s attention was directed towards the center where people were dancing, otherwise there would be strong gossiping among thedies. "Thank you very much for everything. This is a very important item to me." "It''s no problem...Are you a fan of roses? You arepletely dressed in them." "My favorite flower is actually pink peonies. My aunt is the one who helped make my dress. She is a fan of roses. Are you interested in roses yourself?" Someone this refined and elegant must also love a refined flower like that. "I have a hobby of nting and raising flowers, so I was rather intrigued by how the imitation flowers closely resembled that real roses. If we are talking about my personal interests, I prefer white ca lilies." The sound of my heart resembled the sound of thunderstorms. "...Is there a reason why?" "I like the symbolism behind it...The flower is considered a symbol for resurrection and rebirth because it returns every year after winter. These flowers are sturdy as they are stunning and can withstand frosts and can regrow in cases after being cut, yet they have such short lifespans. I think it''s beautiful how it tries to live its life out to the fullest despite holding in such high amounts of poison," he said with a smile. This person was Prince Erik without a doubt. "Are you going to let me die a second time then?" Erik asked. I suddenly felt sick as I remembered the contents of my nightmare. I sped my hand over my mouth as I tried to control my turbulent emotions. "...Excuse me," I mustered weakly as I left the dance hall. I am fine with watching him from afar...When we get close, I cannot help but want more and more. The more I try to reject my own feelings, the more I hurt myself. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . The joy I felt from dancing was always with him... I should have noticed from before. I found myself in the garden where I saw Prince Erik before. Erik has always been a gentleman. It does not matter who the otherdy is, he will always treat them well not because they are special or anything... I did not want to dance with him. He makes me remember things I should forget, and it makes me waver... "Arielle?" I suddenly heard someone call out to me. "Erik?" "It''s Garett." I turned towards him. Garett was without a mask and his usual sses. In his hands were his suit and a book. "I''m sorry...I was not thinking straight." The more I look at Garett, the more I think they are simr especially without his sses. Torturing me with his face. I really did not want to see him. "...It does not bother me." "I see..." He lied. There is no way he would not be bothered by it. "Are you alright? Yourplexion is rather pale." "I''m fine..." I know that I am pathetic. My memories, my feelings, my everything...I don''t think that I will ever find peace within my wretched soul. "...You danced with him, didn''t you?" "I did." "Did something change for you?" "Nothing...Nothing changed for me." "That''s what you wanted the least...You wanted him to look at you the same way you do or even at least half. Your love is one sidedly selfish, wanting the affection of another person without trying to do anything to get their attention or know them personally. How could you ever expect the other person to feel the same way about you?" "It only works out like that for people who are happy with their own lives," I replied to Garett. "It''s fine to hold ugly feelings if it helps you get by. You can just spend the rest of your life loving and chasing him. If you are looking for your own happiness, maybe that is exactly what you need to be happy." There is no reason to throw my own feelings away and hurt myself because of that. I can just keep loving Erik. He will not respond to my feelings, and I will never respond to his. This is truly torture. I cannot imagine myself not being able to not love him. At the same time, I cannot. "Thank you very much." Crack! My mask had suddenly broken in half and fell to the ground. We both took a look at the broken mask that fell to the ground. "Not very sturdy, is it?" Garett said as he picked up the two halves and tried handing it back to me. "Do you still want it?" I shook my head. "I''m fine with throwing it away. Today''s memory will just stay a memory." "Are you going to let me die a second time then?" Erik asked. I am going to let you die, the memories of you at least, here alongside with this mask. I love you more than my memories. That is why I am fine with throwing them away if you get to live another day... "I see." I held my hands out. "You can give it back to me. I will throw it away myself," I said. Garett tucked the broken mask in his back pockets. "Hey..." "I will throw these away for you. You might change your mind and decide to keep them." "Do you think I am that flimsy?" "...Obviously," he said as he held out his hand. "You say such mean things," I said as I took his hand. "I can''t see..." "Hm?" "I lost my sses while I was wearing my mask and then lost my mask while I went looking for my sses..." Garett is surprisingly clumsy at times. "I cannot believe you wandered all the way here to the Lily Garden," I said as I began leading him around the darkened halls. "I went this far?" I thought that I might as well lead him to the library since we both lost our masks. "How did you know it was me if your vision was this bad?" I asked him as I looked back at his face. He smiled gently. "I would know of you anywhere." I felt my heart flutter for a moment. That face is truly unfair. Who asked you to look so gentle? "Gare¨C" "I lied," he said as he stuck his tongue out at me. I threw his hand down and walked away. "Go find your own way around," I said coldly. Chapter 23: Miss Shia Chapter 23: Miss Shia "Garett, there is a spiderweb on you," I said quietly. We were back to our usual work schedule at Exurbia Library. It seemed almost forever since we had to take breaks for exams as well as the dance. "Thank you..." He tried grabbing the strand. "It''s a hair strand?" I said on closer inspection. He quickly flicked the hair away. "Troublesome thing..." Where would a long silver strand of haire from? Garett has always been a rather pristine and tidy person. It is unusual to see even a stray hair on him. I Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. just wonder where a long silver strand of haire from. No one here has silver hair, nor does most of our clientele. Wait... Why am I even thinking about it? Am I bothered? "You found a long strand of hair on Garett''s uniform and now you can''t help but be bothered by it," Maura said right next to my ear. I shivered slightly from the strange feeling I received when Maura blew in my ear slightly. "I am just curious...No one we know has long silver hair," I said as I covered my ear. I thought back to the dance. There was only one person with silver hair... Is Garett reallymunicating with Prince Erik again? "There is a beautiful girl looking for Garett!" Clovis said. I thought that I might as well follow the group. We had all crouched down behind a shelf. "Lady Arielle?" Johor gasped. Apparently, he was not the only one surprised. "Is there something wrong with me being here?" I asked the group. "No, it is just a bit unusual to see you on this side," Maura said. We soon went back to watching Garett. He was talking with an elderly woman with long silver hair and a long red one-piece dress. The person soon turned, and we could finally see that it was actually a pretty girl and not an elderly woman. She had amazingly long eyshes that entuated her beautiful cat like red eyes and her small face. Her delicate skin looked as if it were a bed of snow and her lips were a light cranberry shade. "She is beautiful..." I said out loud. She suddenly clung onto Garett''s arm. Garett shook her off as gentle as he could and left her after leaving some words. "Do not follow me!" Garett said loudly as he left her. The girl soon started crying. I went over and handed her a handkerchief. "Are you alright?" I asked her. "Thank you," she said as she took the handkerchief. "You are?" "I am Arielle Wordsworth. What about you?" "Shia Salome." "Miss Salome, do you mind me asking what that was about?" "I am chasing after him." "Come again?" "I am chasing after him. He is my soulmate! I know it!" This girl is out of her mind. The beautiful girl kept returning back and forth every day. "Arielle, I am here again," Miss Shia said. We are still strangers, yet she uses my name so familiarly. "Are you here to find a book, Miss Salome?" I asked. "Miss Salome, if you are not here to find a book, please leave immediately," Garett said coldly. "I will read anything that you rmend me," Miss Shia said. "Really? How about ''A Hundred Ways to Disappear from the Person you Love''?" Garett said as he went away. There is a book like that? I actually might be interested in a book like that. If I need to disappear from Erik, perhaps the book could provide me with some helpful insight. "You are so cruel, Garett," Miss Shia said in a high-pitched tone. I suddenly felt a stinging sensation go through my head. Why does this feel so familiar? I escorted Miss Shia to a table on Garett''smand. Even though he clearly disliked her, he still does not shoo her away probably due to his sense of responsibility rather than his difficulty towards interacting with women. Even so, he left me to entertain Miss Shia so that he could attend to his lovely books. "May I ask why Miss Shia is intent on following Garett around?" I asked her. Her eyes began sparkling. "I first met Garett when I was wandering around the library. He was very kind to me in helping me find a book. He told me that I had great taste when I finally chose a book. He smiled at me with the kindest smile. That was the moment I fell for him!" Garett smiling? It is not umon. For someone to fall in love with Garett for such a reason... Garett has multiple qualities that make him a great catch. "That is rather simple..." "Could I ask something?" "Yes?" "Arielle speaks to me so formally and with a title all of the time...I was just wondering what you were to Garett?" Is she questioning me? "Garett is a colleague...It is troublesome to call each other with titles all of the time." She smiled widely at me. "I have heard you speaking with other colleagues as well. You speak rather formally with them as well. It is only with Garett that you do not speak formally with. Why is he different?" "We have spent a long time together. It is only natural that I think of him as a close friend." "Can someone who only knows someone for a few months really be that close so easily?" "Of course..." I felt ufortable with her questioning. I was close enough with Garett in our first life during our younger years. I had easily connected with Garett again because I was used to his behaviors and knowing how he was actually very kind. This kind of questioning reminds me of someone... I suddenly felt Miss Shia''s face align with Lady Kaya Ouchi''s face. I had jumped back out of my seat. "Arielle?" Kaya Ouchi is in Arundel. At this time, she is still amoner. From what I had gathered about her, she had never stepped out of Arundel until she entered high society which would not be for a few more years. The person in front of me is Shia Salome. She is far from the shadow of that woman... "I''m sorry," I apologized. "I need to go." I left right afterwards and grabbed books ready for sorting. "Those books do not go there," Garett corrected me. "Ah, you''re right..." "Miss Salome is still here. Why have you not told her to leave yet?" Garett asked me. "You wanted me to ask her to leave?" "I assumed that she would listen to another woman''s opinion." "A woman''s heart isplicated. She would not still be here if she did not think she would not have a chance. Maybe you are subconsciously letting her slip inside because you are actually interested in her." "I thought you understood my intentions. It seems that you only understood me superficially. You do not know me as well as you think you do, so do not ssify in a way that suits you, Lady Wordsworth," Garett said coldly. Did I do something wrong? Chapter 24: Why Cant She Understand Me [Garett] Chapter 24: Why Can''t She Understand Me [Garett] [Garett''s Perspective] I wonder how one person could anger me like so. A girl has beening and going from the library as she pleases to bother me. Even Arielle is being so dense...How dare she assume that I have feelings for that annoying girl? I am obviously...I am obviously what? Feelings? I have feelings for her sounds about right...However, it pains me to think that I finally understand all of those other boys who have simr feelings towards Arielle. Maybe I am on the same level as them since she was supportive of Miss Salome. Even so, I am not understanding of why Arielle is being so supportive of another person with a one- sided love. Ah, Arielle is the same way with that person...I suppose it is is natural to support people with one sided love for her. I scratched my head. Everything is throwing me offtely. I will go get a new book from the school library and see if it will help me rx. Just then, an annoyance walked my way. There he is...Prince Erik. Hoping that he would ignore me, I stepped to the side. He took notice of me and still waved in my direction. I lowered my head as he walked past me. He lowered his head at the same time. "You have mistaken your position, Prince Erik," I said crisply. I cannot ignore this action. We do not usually interact with each other in public, but I need to correct him now before it is toote. "My apologies," he said. This wishy-washy person is who she is interested in? "A Prince should not have to apologize for something so small." "I should at least...to you. After all, I am¨C" "No, you are who everyone says you are, so until then, you will stay in that position," I said quietly as I walked closer to him. I soon brushed against his shoulder and walked past him. I saw Arielleter that afternoon in the library. She had chosen another fantasy novel. I had already surmised that her tastes were along the lines of romance, drama, and action with fantasy themes due to her usual selections. That did not mean that she did not like to read other things. She could read things from manuals to politics and would even brush up on medical books. It seemed a bit odd for someone her age and gender to invest in those kinds of books. I walked around her and went to sit in my usual spot. She was quietly invested in her book and diligently reading. I wonder when I began to like being around another person. My quality of reading seemed to get better when I am with this person. I liked every bit of our time together. It was a strange feeling. I had never felt my heart so warm and full of just being around her. I quietly passed her some premium cookies I bought the other day. "Hm? Cookies?" she said as she pondered the clear bag. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . "I''m giving them to you," I said stiffly. The premium cookies took three hours of waiting in line at a famous bakery... "Huh? Garett!" It seems she did only just notice me... "I was wrong the other day for raising my voice at you. Miss Salome was getting on my nerves. It is no reason to take my anger out on you." "I was in the wrong as well. How you choose to deal with her is up to your discretion. I still think that you should still consider her feelings and cut her off cleanly if you intend to do so." She is unaware of my feelings for her, which makes her much crueler. "I will," I assured her. I will only do this for her because it is her. "Shall we share these cookies then?" she asked as she held up the bag. "dly." Chapter 25: My Mother Chapter 25: My Mother [First Life] My mother was a strict person. She was a thoroughly trained Noble and the epitome of the perfect Noblewoman. I could hardly recall a moment of herpassion, until she was on her deathbed. "...Arielle, I have not been a good mother to you," Mother said. She had been struck by an incurable illness at the time and was made to be bedridden for what would be the rest of her life. The bed that she had slept in also inevitably became her coffin. "Please, Mother has been nothing but good to me." She touched my cheek with her frail hands. "That is not true. I know you very well, Arielle. My dear Arielle...I had thought that giving you some tough love would give you room to grow. You did grow...at what cost?" Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org. It was the first time I had ever heard of her speak to me so much before. "Mother?" "When I was young, I was often harassed by other women because of jealousy. It drove me to try to take my life at one time. On my second attempt, I found that I was pregnant with you. I was filled with unimaginable joy that even I could be a mother. When I first held you, you were the size of my forearm and your eyes were filled with life and wonder. I felt the need to protect you. I rejected your love and forced you to be a person suited to the name Maddox so that you would never lose to anyone. You eventually exceeded my expectations and became a wonderful youngdy." My heart felt like filling up with warmth. I never thought that Mother thought so much of me. "I was hardly a mother to you more than a mentor." "That is not true..." "Is it really? I do not even remember when thest time was you smiled at me," she said as she turned her head away. "...You never pped my hand away." She turned around towards me. "I never did what?" "When I was three, there was a time that I was curious about how your hand felt. I grabbed it one day and you never shook me off until I released my grip from you." "...I cannot believe you remember such things. You were so young," she said as she began crying. For the first time in my life, I shed my first tears. I held her frail hand tightly towards my face. "Mother, please do not leave me..." "What am I going to do with you? It seems that you are still a child," she said with a mncholic smile. I spent my time leisurely with Mother. We talked about many things from simple stuff to even politics. I always thought Mother was a woman of few words. It turns out that she has always been a shy and lovely person who actually loves to talk. She even told me about how my busy father was too shy to visit her while she was talking with me and would alwayse after we had our talks to hand her flowers every day. When my own mother asked me how my love life was going with Erik, I had remembered that I had forgotten to write Erik a letter in a long time. Mother had ordered me to write a letter to Erik as soon as possible. I could have refused her at that moment because I saw that her health had turned for the worse every day, but she urged me to write to Erik that day. I had finished my letter and quickly made my way back to her room. On the way there, I saw many Doctors and rtives rushing to Mother''s room. It was probably then that I had realized that they were noting over for just any simple visit. I had dropped my letter when I saw my Father grasping Mother''s hand with the most saddened expression I had ever seen before. "Arielle..." I was sitting over Mother''s grave long after the funeral when Erik had called out to me. "It is strange how she looked like she was sleeping. Her face was just so peaceful, almost as if she was about to wake up at any moment...I am sorry. This is probably not what you wanted to hear or see." "We can talk about whatever you want today," Erik said. "I do not even know what there is to talk about. My mother has just passed away. There is a void in my heart, yet I am unable to shed a tear. Maybe I did not love her as much as I thought I did..." "Lady Maddox was the epitome of a perfectdy. She may have told you to not fall below that bar or that showing tears is a sign of weakness, but you are different from her. You do not have to be perfect all the time. It is fine to cry no matter how ugly it makes you look whenever you are sad or when you are happy." "I will not cry...at least today. She hated tears after all." Erik sat beside me in silence for hours that day. If he was not there with me that day, I probably would have cried myself for a long time... Chapter 26: Duchess in Nariel Chapter 26: Duchess in Nariel I wonder why I dreamt of Mother''s death...It is such an ominous sign. "I am looking for someone," a woman said in a quiet voice. "Arielle, someone is here for you," Maura said. I quickly made my way down the stairs from the second floor. At the entrance of Exurbia Library was my mother Duchess Amalie Ira Nereus Maddox. She was wearing a white high cor navy blue dress and had her gentle long pink wavy hair tied back into a low ponytail. "Greetings, Mother," I said as I formally greeted her with a curtsy. "Greetings, Arielle," she said as she returned my greeting. My mother and I had gotten close in our first lives because of her illness. Without the illness, we never really had any chance to talk to one another. We were back to our strained rtionship. I know that she actually loves me a lot under her cold demure from our first lives, but I am unsure if she feels the same way now. "What brings you to the capital, Mother?" I asked. "...Your father invited me toe along with him on a business trip. I thought that I might as well show my face to you while I am here," she said monotonously. "Am I bothering you?" "Not at all. The Exurbia Library is not busy around this time," I said. "Your father will not be out of his meeting for another three hours. I will be free until then," she said. Did she have to specifically tell that to me? "I see," I said. Her bottom lip seemed to quiver a bit. Is she ill? "It seems that Miss Arielle is free today," Garett said. "Is that so?" Mother asked. "She would like to spend time with you," Garett whispered to me. Is that so? Mother is really awkward...Why could she not have said it outright? "Mother, would you mind apanying me while I go shopping?" I asked. Her cold face brightened up like a child for a moment but quickly stiffened right afterwards. "...I do not mind spending time with my daughter," Mother said with her usual cold tone. Is she happy or bothered about spending time with me? "I will take over for you, so go spend some quality time with her," Garett said as he took over my list of duties. "Thank you," I told him. "Arielle, who is this young man?" Mother asked. Is Mother also unaware of Garett''s identity? He is literally the carbon copy of Prince Erik if not for his hair color and sses and is Prince Erik''s cousin... "He is my colleague," I answered. Mother gave a light curtsy in Garett''s direction. "Thank you for looking after my beloved daughter," Mother said. She said ''beloved''...I am a little embarrassed now. "She is not much trouble," Garett said with a smile. Mother and I left after that. "I like that boy," Mother said suddenly. "Come again?" "He reminds me of your father. He seems cold on the outside but is actually rather warm and sweet on the inside. If he bes my son-inw, I would be more than wee to wee him into our household." "M-Mother, I have a fianc¨¦." "A fianc¨¦ is merely a temporary position," she said as she walked ahead of me. I am unsure if she was joking or not. We went to a nearby cafe that Maura and I usually go to during breaks. I ordered a slice of velvet cake with some ck coffee while my mother ordered bear shaped pancakes and a caf¨¦ auit with a cat motif. How cute... "Has anything new urred to the fiefdom?" I asked to break the silence. "...Are governing matters the only thing we can talk about?" Mother asked. I was suddenly taken back by her response. "That is not it..." "All of your letters show concern for the fief. It is admirable about how much you care despite being so far from home. I wish that you would include more things about yourself that are not a report..." Mother was suddenly willing to speak so much to me. As I thought, she has not changed from our first lives. It was not due to her illness changing her into a kind person. She was the same from the very start. "...What should we talk about?" I asked her. "...How about love?" I felt as though someone had thrown a stone at my head. This was thest topic that I ever wanted to talk with my mother with. Since she brought it up herself, if I quickly dismiss it, she might lose confidence in herself again. "That is an interesting topic, Mother. I would like to hear about how Mother and Father are doing," I said with a smile. I will throw the oil right back. Her hand shook a little while her cheeks became flushed. "O-Oh...Your father and I are doing just fine." This is good...She is frazzled. I can ride along with this. I made a triumphant fist under the table. "It would not be strange for me to have a few more siblings when you are still so young, Mother." "Your father and I are doing well. Hees home earlier than usual nowadays, so it won''t be long until...Are you trying to make this about me in order to avoid talking about yourself?" The n fell through...Darn it. Mother is as sharp as she looks. "Of course not. I am genuinely curious about whether I will receive a sibling soon enough." "I have heard that you are attending the same academy as His Highness Prince Erik..." She changed the topic? "Yes..." "...Are you still against meeting with him?" "When I first came to this country, I was aware that he was here as well. I never thought that we would end up attending school together. It appears that I am not worth that much in his heart as he had to forget what his fianc¨¦e looks like," I said as I ced my cup down. "If he does not work out, it is not the end of the world...Just find another man," Mother said. Mother likes to joke with a cold face apparently. "Where on earth would I find another suitor?" "That young gentleman from earlier seems nice." "That would be a problem," I replied immediately. Why would it be a problem? Is it because this involves Garett? "...Does he have a lover?" "N-Not that I know of..." "Is he not intelligent enough?" "He is the top of his ss." "Does he not like the size of your bosom? It will grow eventually if you have my genes." "Garett does not look at women in an lewd way!" I said as I suddenly raised my voice. Mother did not mind my sudden outburst and stared deeply through me. "Hm...His name is Garett?" she said as if she was confirming something. "Yes?" I replied to her. "You call him by his given name without honorifics...How close you two are," she said as if she were investigating me. "Arielle? Sister Amalie!" Lady Bernadette''s voice rang. It was my aunt traveling around with several shopping bags. Mother suddenly ced down some money onto the table and pulled me up by my hand. "Mother?" We suddenly began running out from the caf¨¦ and away from my aunt. "Why are you running from me!" my aunt yelled. "If we get near, you will take my Arielle away from me again!" Mother replied back to her. Is Mother jealous? I had never seen her so desperate before. It was almost too cute to believe... We stopped at a nearby park. My mother released her hold over my hand as soon as she noticed that she was still holding onto me. Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. "Mother?" "My apologies for dragging you along," she said as she turned her face away. "I''m d...this was the first time that you ever held my hand." "...It was," she said as she turned towards me. "I am a failure as an adult...I got jealous of my own sister and dragged you here. I did not want her to take my time away from you. You are my precious daughter after all." Mother is so lovable. I never knew that I had so many people that loved me. Mother soon took me on a short shopping trip and bought me some ribbon hair ties for me before going back to the library. I saw my father waiting for us right in front of the Exurbia Library on our way back. "Take care," Father said as he pat my shoulder. "Yes, Father." My mother had her back turned towards me the whole time and never said a word. "Stay in good health, Mother," I said as I made a light curtsy in her direction. I was soon tackled by my mother and brought into her strong embrace. My father seemed unsurprised by her sudden action and only smiled in our direction. I returned her embrace with a light hug. I soon felt that my feet dangling off of the ground. "Arielle ising home. That is final," Mother said as she lifted me over her shoulder. "...Amalie, we talked about this," Father said. "I will be lonely without her," she said firmly. "I will spend more time with you after a few more business trips." "I would like to spend some time with my daughter as well!" "What about your husband? I will be lonely too if you spend so much time with Arielle!" Father said shamelessly. My entire family is too embarrassing... Chapter 27: Lost Chapter 27: Lost "...I...I hate you, Erik." I woke up with a round of tears on my face yet again with no recollection of what I dreamt about. It has been happening for the past few days. I wonder if I am ill... I soon met Garett as I was leaving my room. "Are you alright?" he asked. "...I am justcking a bit of sleep," I answered. "Will you be fine going out for today?" he asked. "Of course." Today, the first and second years are to head to the Museum of Asmaria Culture Society in order to learn more about Asmarian culture. We were all to split apart and write down some facts upon each major exhibition and five of our choice. We could do the assignment as pairs or in groups. Charlotte and I were naturally together. We were going to invite Garett along as well, but he had other ns. "How dare Garett make ns and leave us? I am going to find him and drag him along with us," Charlotte said irately. Charlotte is still on the lookout for him... We were invited into a group with three other girls. Although they seemed nice, it was a bit difficult for me to mingle with girls who were into romance or stories about the princes in our school. Prince Erik was reading an excerpt from a book in ancient Asmariannguage in front of a group of spectators. "This is, of course, the closest we have to an attempt at reading thenguage. It has yet to be fully decoded by schrs as of yet," Prince Erik said. His pronunciation is beautiful as always. I walked away from the crowd quickly afterwards. Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. "You do not want to hear the rest, Arielle?" Charlotte asked me. I shook my head gently. "Prince Erik does not need another one of his fans roaming around," I said. I wandered around with Charlotte after a while. "...This book was uncovered about a hundred years ago. It includes ancient inventions like that of aqueducts and farming tools," a familiar female voice said. The female speaker was none other than Maura herself. "Maura?" "Arielle and Charlotte!" Maura said excitedly. "Are you two here to learn more about Asmarian culture?" "It is somewhat of a self-learning trip. Are you here to give out lectures?" I asked her. "I am filling in for a friend who is sick today," she said as she handed me a map. "I marked the most interesting exhibits on there if you don''t mind. I am sorry that I cannot guide you around." "This is more than plenty," I told her. "Thank you." Arundrite...Crown of Queen Ariel...Scales of Mermaid Fins...Trident Replica...Asmaria Scale Model... There seems to be an underwater theme. It is true that Nariel has one of the most advanced andplex sewage systems, watermills, and waterway transportation. I am more interested about looking at the excerpts of Asmaria. My family contains arge number of excerpts from Asmaria. There are a few rare ones in Nariel. I may be able to decipher them with my knowledge. I would have liked to read excerpts about technology or medical research. However, the only books on disy were those about recipes on how to cook and eat insects. It maye in handy during poor harvests or drought seasons. I am already aware of such things already. I thought maybe learning how to make my own mills or farming tools would be nice in the case if Erik ends our engagement and forces me into a monastery or exiles me to themoner life. When I leaned my back onto what I thought was a wall, I fell through double doors that were covered with a red curtain before. That was embarrassing... I am a fully grown woman around my twenties who is too clumsy for my own good. When I looked around, I found a new exhibition hall filled with older looking artifacts such as vases, jewelry, and older looking books. Only one stood out very much to me. It was the Book of Ruth Chapter 313. I suddenly felt cold feet as I stood in front of the open disy... I suddenly got cold feet looking at it. I wonder why I had forgotten something so important to me. I lost someone important to me before because of it... Chapter 28: Painted Memories Chapter 28: Painted Memories [The Past] "Erik, I am going to the northern border for a bit," I told him as I began packing. Erik pulled me by my arm into hisp. "Whatever you can do, you can stay with me." There it is... Erik is being needy again. I touched his cheek with my hand. "You have be King... You are in a position where you must not leave from your tower is what I should say," I said as I pulled his cheeks. "You have been sneaking out here and there..." "Ow... how did you find out?" "I know that you have been sneaking out with the number of books piling in our bedroom. Most of them are not even aboutw or medicine. That means that you have been obtaining these books outside of the Royal Library," I said as I pointed towards the unorganized pile of books. A few maids woulde and clean only once a week since Erik hated peopleing and going out of our room often. "I have seen you taking a few books here and there as well..." I flinched slightly. He found out... Erik was an avid reader much like me and Garett. It was a bit unexpected seeing as though he loves to skip out on his official duties. "Who do you think has to cover for you?" I asked him. "Even for sneaking out, you leave for far too long...Please think about your wife as well." Erik pulled me aside and threw me on the bed. I fell down onto my side and pulled my legs up slightly as I curled my body and looked at Erik. He crouched over me and encased me in his arms. "You are absolutely right. I have been disregarding my wife for too long," he said as he picked up the bottom of my long skirt. I did not mean like this! I felt like panicking. "W-Wait..." "Why wait? We are already married, Ari," he said as his hands ran under my shirt. This might be a bit bad. Erik has had a bad case with overdoing things. If I let things go on like this, I will be bedridden and be forced to move my ns back a day. He suddenly kissed my neck. "...Erik, I really can''t today," I said in a not so convincing voice. I was suddenly pinched on my sides. "You have gone soft..." How dare he? I grabbed the closest pillow I could and began smacking Erik as much as I could and left him as a decrepit corpse on our bed. I had begun a sedimentary lifestyle with Erik''s increasing truancy. I had disregarded my strict diet and exercise regime. I was not particrly fat, but it is discerning if Erik is able to grab my sides and tell me that I have grown soft...The royalty life is a very scary thing. I barged into the maids'' lounge. "Your Highness!" I suddenly felt oing tears. I was quickly surrounded by my worried maids. "What is wrong, Your Highness?" a maid asked. "...I need...I need to diet," I said as I began wiping my tears with my wrists. "His Highness grabbed my love handles." My hands were suddenly sped by the younger maids. "Say no more," a maid told me. "For honor! For Arundel! For the best body!" the maids said in unison. I cannot let this go on before I head off on official business. I was put on a strict diet by the maids and went intense training that was even more brutal than Knight training in the morning and night for the next three days. In the end, I really did have to push my trip back, but my getting my body back in shape is very important. During the time I was under strict observation, I had avoided Erik the whole time. "Congrattions, Your Highness!" a maid said as she measured me. "22 centimeters!" Upon leaving, I was seen out by the maids who helped me get back to my ideal weight and a few close officials. Erik was nowhere in sight. He must have been angry with me for leaving him alone while I went on my diet. He should have at least seen me before leaving. I was crying before I knew it. "His Highness is such a dummy!" I left for my trip right afterwards. "Wee to the Northern Fortress Ste, Your Highness, Queen Arielle," Commander Darian Derek said. "I hope your trip was smoothing here?" Themander seemed to shake slightly in my presence. "Mdy, your re is frightening the Commander," my butler Sebastian whispered. I am still mad about Erik. I went to put back on my official smile. "Thank you for your very warm wee." "Shall I show you around, Your Highness?" "I am very honored to be shown around by the Commander himself...Even so, I may be an esteemed person, but there must be other people that are less busy with their work to show me around. There is no need for the Commander himself to serve as a tour guide for me." He seemed taken back by my remark. "Yes...Things are not as busy around here as the capital." "I trust that management must be as smooth then," I said with a sly smile. He seemed to be taken back by my presence. I am a little girl to them, but at least they still respect my position. "Of course..." His response was rather dyed... "...Could I take a look at the training of the Knights?" "Of course!" he said as he brought me to the training area. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . I was brought to an open training ground. The ground maintenance was rather poor and the tools they were using were rather worn down and old. "There are awfully a lot of younger men." "We usually get new blood sent here to train. Somee from the Academy, while moste from small surrounding viges with little education. Over here, we ept everyone. We could use all the help we can get." "What does the training regime look like?" He handed me a written list of their training regime. "This is written up by them. They mostly train amongst themselves." "There is no one to oversee their training then?" "There is someone..." Commander Derek looked over at a man sitting under an umbre who seemed to be sipping some lemonade. "Howfortable looking..." "He is the son of Marquis Pir...It is difficult for even me to tell him how to do his job." Sebastian handed me a sheet of paper and a pen. I quickly wrote up a new training regime and handed it to the Commander. "This is the same training done by the Knights in the capital. I expect them to at least do half if they intend to stay as soldiers." "Understood, Your Highness," he said as he epted the sheet of paper. I would have thought that I would meet with a bit of resistance because I was a woman. My position as Queen and my high birth must have aided in my persuasion. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar person with long ck hair tied into a long low ponytail. He looked much different without his sses and had grown out his bangs to cover half of his face. "Garett?" "Arielle?" I tried to control my excitement from meeting an old acquaintance. "Your Highness is acquainted with Garett?" Commander Derek asked. "We went to school together at the Academy," I said. "That''s right," Garett said. "I got married to His Highness about a year ago," I informed him. Even though he was a member of the Royal Family, he did not attend my wedding for some reason. "I see...Congrattions, Your Highness," Garett said with a solemn smile. ''Your Highness''... That''s right...I am a Queen now. "Did you be a Knight, Garett?" "I am more of an assistant of sorts," he replied vaguely. "Garett is my Vice Commander. He is rather good on his feet as well as his hands. Honestly, he is a bit too good for here," Commander Derek said. "I suppose we will be working together for a few days," I said with a smile. "I look forward to working with all of you." I was soon seen to my room by Garett. "You seem a bit different," I told Garett. "Do I?" "You were a bit unapproachable during our Academy days...Do you still read books often?" "...Not nearly as much as I used to. I say that you have changed a lot too." "In what way?" I asked him. "You have be much more beautiful," he said as he stopped before my room. "My job ends here. I will see you tomorrow." "Yes..." That scared me a bit. Even Garett can say sweet words once in a while... I went back to my room and heard a rustling sounding from my bed. I have a bad feeling about this... I pulled on my sheets and saw that my husband was lying sound asleep in my bed. He followed after me...I thought it was a bit quiet after the storm. As for whether or not I enjoy this surprise, my feelings are mixed. I should probably wake him up before anything. Erik was the type to be very particr with the way he would be woken up. A gentle caress...a soft whisper... "Wake up, my King." "Ari," he said as he pulled me into his embrace. I am definitely a weak person... Just one hug is enough for me to forgive him. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. I wonder if I overworked myself for so long since I fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up about three hourster and saw Erik''s face right next to mine. He was awake and staring right back at me with a smile. "How long have you been awake?" I asked him. "I just woke up." "That''s a lie..." "I woke up a bit earlier and watched your sleeping face." I rubbed my head onto his chest. "I will scold youter...For now, hug me." "As you wish..." he said as he held me tightly. I had Erik sit across from me on his knees on the bed not long after our short nap. "What are you doing here?" I asked Erik as I crossed my arms. "I came to follow my beautiful wife." "I can see that...I just want to know why." "It has been a while since we have gone anywhere together." "...What is the underlying reason?" "I was worried that you might cheat on me." I pped his arm. I knew it was for a stupid reason... "Why would you ever think I would cheat on you?" "I heard that your old me was here." "Who?" "Garett..." I rubbed my head slightly. "We are married...If that is not all, you could have me killed for having an affair with your position." "I''d rather just kill the man you had rtions with and lock you up in my room forever." "That is a scary thought..." "There was a moment of time when you liked Garett, right?" "I liked how he reminded me of you," I said as I stared into his eyes. His face suddenly became red. We sat informally in front of each other. "I-I see..." I raised my leg and pressed my foot on his abdomen slightly. "You won''t be going back for a while, right?" I asked as I pulled the drawstring to his pants with my toes and lifted my skirt slightly. This was my best attempt at inviting him...I wanted him to hold me today. A hug just was not enough for today. Erik grabbed my leg and brought it closer to his face. His lips began traveling up my leg to my inner thigh. I gasped as a tickling sensation went through my spine. He removed my outer dress and brought me onto hisp with my underdress slightly sliding off from my shoulders. I met with his eyes and covered my lips with his as I sat over hisp. "...Things won''t end today with a simple kiss," Erik said dazedly. "That was my intention," I said as I pressed my body closer to his. We have been married for a while...One or two children should be alright during this time. Even I want to have children with the man I love. I was suddenly pushed onto the bed by the heavily breathing Erik. I was given no time toin about anything when he roughly took me by surprise with his rigidity. I gasped multiple times as he took his time in gently teasing me over and over again. Chapter 29: Painted Memories P.2 Chapter 29: Painted Memories P.2 [Past Life] "...Why don''t you stay in for a bit longer?" "Don''t make any mistake. It was a one-time thing..." "I thought we had something really special yesterday." "It was just your imagination. I never thought of you more than thest person I was with." "How can you say something so cruel?" "I only speak the truth." I said as I began changing into my clothes. "Erik...can we finish this nonsense?" Erik saw that y fighting once in a while would help keep our rtionship interesting. I thought it was rather interesting enough as it was with our bed habits, but this rather enjoyable as well. He pulled on my arm and brought me back to his embrace. "It''s been a while since we have been together like that...I want to see your face for a little longer." I felt embarrassed. "Get dressed," I said as I struck his chin with the palm of my hand. I noticed that my legs were still suffering from the aftershocks ofst night as I began walking along the walls of the fortress. I had missed dinner and much of sleep because of Erik. His libido had never changed even after marriage... I rubbed my stomach slightly as I leaned against the wall. I visited the training grounds first thing in the morning. The new training regime had not been implemented. Since the Commander was nowhere in sight, I approached Marquis Pir''s son. "Good morning, Sir," I said. His eyes widened as he stood properly and greeted me. "Good morning, Beauty," he said as he bowed slightly. "To what honor, do I owe this pleasure?" ...He cannot tell that I am the Queen? I dide in disguise by wearing training clothes and styling my hair upwards. "Ie from the capital." "A civil officer?" "Something like that...I heard that a new training regime was implemented." "That sheet? I threw it out the moment I received it. A soldier only needs to sh well." "Would you like to test it?" I asked him. "Excuse me?" "How about if you cannd a strike on me, I will put in a good word for you at the capital?" "No...I would like dinner with you." Erik may not be too happy with me epting this kind of deal. "In that case, I hope that you join in the same training as everyone else if you lose." I stood before him without any armor. My opponent wore a breastte and a long sword. All I had on me was a short sword. We gathered a crowd before we knew it. Marquis Pir''s son took the first strike to which I dodged. For someone who sat around often, his athleticism was not awful. I returned various strikes and cornered him with my speed. From an outsider''s perspective, it must look like I had the upper hand. My skills were of a higher level, but I had limited stamina from my recent sedimentary lifestyle. I tried to finish as fast as I could by increasing my speed even further. It only aggravated my opponent as he had resorted to using his feet. He brought a kick to my left arm. Had I not been wearing gauntlets under my clothes, my arm would have shattered. "Arielle!" Garett yelled. I changed my grip and knocked the sword away with all of my strength and held my de towards his neck. "...Hah...I win!" I said triumphantly. I soon gained the cheers from the people around us. As I was about to fall to the ground from relief, I was suddenly caught by Garett. "You did well," Garett said. "Thank you," I told him. "I will take care of my wife from here," Erik said as he tapped his shoulder. "Your Majesty!" Marquis Pir''s son said. "My wife was kind enough to help with adjusting the training regime and supplying the fort with newer weapons. It seems that her efforts were not appreciated enough," he said as he lifted me in his arms and walked off. "You just had to appear..." "It is not a secret that one person of royalty was here. They just have to add one to that number...Goodness! Do you intend to die from overwork, my wife?" "I would have been in better condition if not for you," Iined. I was carried over Erik''s shoulder and brought to the bath together. Without letting me change, he dropped me inside of the bathtub and joined me fully clothed. "Erik? What is this about?" We were fully clothed for God''s sake... "I don''t like how another man''s scent is on you," he said as he approached me. He locked me on both sides with his hands on the bath''s rim. He kissed me gently and began quickly undressing me. I had no reason to refuse him either. It was a bit cute for him to be jealous. It seemed like his clothes were constricting him. I helped unbutton his already see-through shirt. Erik did the rest and tossed his clothes out of the bath. "I should help clean my wife," he said as he poured a bottle of body soap onto his hands. His hands lewdly ran up and down my body. The soap had made his hands very slippery as he continuously massaged my body and attacked my weak points with his pincer attacks. I would asionally unintentionally let out a coquettish gasp that would further incite Erik to be rougher. I turned around to face the rim and held on tightly as Erik raised my bottom. Erik held his hands on my waist and mercilessly carved my insides. A heavy sshing sound resonated from our bath. My memory was a bit hazy after a while. It seems that I fainted sometime in the bath and was carried to my room. Erik had left me a note telling me that he had taken over my duties and told me to rest. I woke upte in the afternoon, so I was way toote for breakfast and a little over lunch. I received a knock from my bedroom door. "Mdy, it is I," Sebastian said. "I have a guest with me." "Come in," I said. Garett had appeared beside him. "Garett?" I said. "I brought some sandwiches. I heard that you were out from that bout, so I came to check up on you," he said. I was out due to unrted reasons... "Thank you for worrying," I told him. "I am fine as you can see." My waist, not so much... Garett''s hand reached towards my hair. I felt slightly startled by his sudden action. "You two are having a good rtionship," he said as he moved my hair from my neck. I immediately covered my neck with my hand. "It''s normal..." "There isn''t anything on your neck," he said teasingly. I felt extremely embarrassed from how easily I was tricked. Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. These two have the same face, so I feel rather nervous even though I know they are twopletely different people on the inside. "Did youe here to make fun of me?" "I only came to see your face," he said. "You are still reckless as ever. Nothing has changed." "I will have to change my ways when I have a child one day," I said as I ced my hand over my stomach. "It will not be just my body anymore." "...Are you with child?" "...Not yet. When I have a child, I will let you know." "You want me to get an expensive present..." "So, you know?" I said with a chuckle. Erik did not return to our room even at nighttime. I was getting antsy from waiting in our room all alone. Later at night, I heard a knocking from my door. "...I havee to deliver dinner, Your Highness," a maid said. "Come in." After I finished having dinner, I picked up the lid for my dessert and saw a note left in its ce. A note? "I am waiting for you by the fountain," Erik wrote. A romantic... I held the note to my chest happily. There were apparently two fountains ording to a maid I asked. One of them was out of service, while the other was fully operational. Knowing Erik, he probably meant the broken fountain. He loves little things like that. Both fountains were quite a distance away from each other. If I am wrong, it would take at least ten minutes to get to the other side even if I ran. I sat on a nearby bench waiting for Erik. I held my hands to my face as I exhaled a breath of cold air. "Erik iste..." I felt someone''s presence behind me. I was suddenly gagged and had my wrists restricted by the perpetrator. I struggled with all of my might to no avail. Erik! I broke free for a moment only to be hit by a blunt object to the back of my head. "Careful! This person is a Queen!" ...Marquis Pir''s son? I felt my consciousness begin to fade as blood trickled down my face. Chapter 30: Painted Memories P.3 Chapter 30: Painted Memories P.3 [Past Life] I felt my body being shaken from being carried around. When I opened my eyes, I saw Garett''s face. I was being carried by Garett. "...Garett?" "Arielle, you are awake..." There was an expression of urgency on his face. "...Are we still on the run from pursuers?" I asked as I held my head. "...Yeah. We need to find a ce to hide from." The pain from my head was increasing. "Ow..." He touched my head gently. "You are bleeding so much!" I wrapped my arms around his neck. Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. "I''m fine! We should find a ce to hide soon. Do not mind me and continue at your speed." Garett found us a hunter''s shack to hide in. He ced me down against the wall and lit some firewood in the fire pit. We were safe for now, but things were not looking so good for us. Garett was slightly injured and must be exhausted from carrying me around. Even the condition of his sword was not looking too good... From the amount of shadows I saw before, I remembered seeing at least six shadows. No matter how skilled Garett might be, I doubt that he could protect me and himself from six assants. My head continued throbbing, making me lose consciousness here and there repeatedly. I opened my eyes again from a daze and saw Garett stripping from his clothes. More than the fact that his top half was bare, I noticed how he had a small mole near his left shoulder de. "Ari...Arielle..." "Erik..." I am really sleepy right now... I felt myself being encased in a very warm state. When I opened my eyes again, I saw that I wasying on top of what seemed like someone''s bare chest. It was Garett''s chest. He seemed to be asleep as well. I seemed rather confused as to why I was there and suddenly noticed that I was nearlypletely nude. I felt like panicking, but I felt the need to find my clothes as the first order of business. I collected my clothes that were resting by the firece and quickly dressed myself. "...Why was I undressed?" I saw that my injuries were properly dressed and covered up. "Are you up?" Garett said as he sat up. "Y-Yes," I said as I looked away from him. I was unable to look him in the eye due to his toned body being right in front of me. "How is your head?" "Much better..." "You had a fever, and the fire was not enough...I am sorry about earlier." "You only did what you had to," I said as I looked back at him. The bandage over his arm started unraveling. I quickly went to his side and began helping him dress his wound properly. "Thank you..." "I should be thanking you. You saved me earlier." "I haven''t saved you yet. We are still on the run from Marquis Pir''s son and his men...The mercenaries are most likely from the Balik Empire." "Balik Empire? The bordering country...Why? Of course, there is unrest, but capturing me could start a war," I said. "This is more than revenge. They want something more..." Will I ever see Erik again? I felt my hands shaking. Garett brought my head to his chest to calm me down. "I will bring you back to him no matter what..." "Yeah..." I felt like I could believe his words in that moment. "Garett, do you mind me asking why you left toe here without telling me anything?" I asked. "...That is..." He seemed perplexed by my question. "You don''t have to answer or anything," I said. "I was just curious." "No... I want to answer. There were rumors of infidelity around you." "Those are baseless rumors!" "It might be baseless, but such rumors are detrimental to a new Queen. Erik came to me and told me that I was the most discerning person in question...I thought that I could protect you by leaving your side. Erik agreed with my decision and sent me here." "...You left the capital because of me? You and I are not¨C" "That is not true...For years, I have been in love with you and still am," he said as heced his fingers with mine. "Erik..." "He knows as well...He said that if you were to choose me, he would be fine with your decision." "...Isn''t that the same thing as abandoning me?" "He loves you so much that he would prefer you being happy over his own happiness. No matter what he says, he cares for your happiness more than anything else in the world..." "That''s more than enough for me to not ept your feelings," I said as I moved my hand away. I suddenly felt the contact of his lips. Garett had pushed me down under his weight and pinned my wrists to the ground. It was too rough and forceful for me to push away. It was about another minute or so before he moved away. "...Back then, I could barely leave a finger on you. Seeing you again so close, I have been driven to the point of no return. I cannot help but want to touch you again." "Even if you do this, I won''t be yours," I said as I stopped struggling. "...Maybe so," he said as he released my wrists and gently stroked my head. Garett gave me one of the gentlest kisses I ever received before. I was unable to put my strength in my pushes when I could feel his years of unrequited feelings packed into one kiss. I was definitely a pushover from letting him continue to kiss me even though I loved my husband. My feelings for Garett never went away...I always did have some feelings stored for him deep inside my heart, so oddly when he kissed me, I felt a little happy despite how unfaithful these feelings were. The next sound that I heard was the crackling of the fire. "...I''m sorry," he said as he got off of me. I sat leaning upright against the wall in a daze and stared at an empty wall. "Ow..." Garett needed to change his bandages. He had invigorated his wound so much that he had he had bled through his second round of bandages. I crawled over to him and helped him wrap a new set of bandages. "You are under no obligation to help me," Garett said coldly. "I cannot stand seeing people hurt..." "...That is just like you, but if you get this close, I will bite you again," he said as he wrapped his good arm around my waist. My heart raced slightly. "In your state, you can barely lift a sword..." "Now, I wouldn''t say that. I can still lift other things." My face became flushed. "You..." Garett stared deeply into my eyes with his quivering green eyes. "Arielle, I love you. Please runaway with me." I pushed on his chest. "I never once forgot about you. You were always in the back of my mind even before all of this, but I am sorry. I cannot abandon everything for you. It is all toote for that..." "I understand," he said as he hugged me tightly. "When we leave this ce, it will truly be the end of everything between us, including my feelings for you." More than my body, my heart hurt more than anything... The cabin was not a very safe location. We had to head out immediately. I was able to walk on my own, but I was still suffering from blood loss. "Your Highness, this way," Garett said as he helped pull me uphill. "Thank you," I said as I took his hand. The cabin was raided as expected. We continued running again. Our pursuers caught up to us despite that distraction from earlier. I injured my leg from moving in the darkness and was unable to keep up even with Garett pulling me along. "Just a little more, Your Highness..." I released his hand. "You can escape by yourself. I am just a burden...Tell Erik that I did not make it even if I am held hostage. Even if I am taken hostage, I will find a way to end myself before they are able to negotiate a trade for my life." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me along again. "You are going to be a mother! The hope of the next generation lies in your hands, so you cannot give up now. If you cannot continue living for the kingdom, then live for yourself." I touched my stomach slightly. "For the future..." I am possibly carrying the future Prince. One day, he will see the light and protect our future. "They are over here!" a man shouted. We were so close to the fortress. To be found like this... Garett pulled me behind a tree and hid me in the bushes. "I will lead them away," Garett said as he kneeled before me. I grabbed his sleeve. "What can you do by yourself?" "I could die for you," he answered resolutely. "No...You cannot die..." "We cannot let them have you under no circumstance. That idiot King would not hesitate to put the people''s lives in danger for you, so you must escape." "...What will I tell my child about their savior?" Garett kissed me on the lips before smiling awkwardly. "He is still madly in love with you." Garett shook my hand off and began running in the opposite direction. The sound of multiple steps followed afterwards. "You liar...You said that you would stop your feelings for me," I said as my tears dropped incessantly. Chapter 31: Painted Memories P.4 Chapter 31: Painted Memories P.4 [Past Life] I woke up to a familiar ceiling. At my side was a sleeping Erik holding onto my hand. "E-Erik..." He suddenly woke up. "Ari, you are awake," he said as he hugged me. "How long have I been asleep for?" I asked as Erik helped me sit up. "Two days..." Erik had informed me that Garett along with five other men had been captured and held captive by the Balik Empire. The ransom was the Book of Ruth Chapter 313, a book about how to make superior mass killing weapons. "Just give up the book!" I told Erik. "We deciphered the book with the decoding forms your family provided. Someone from our side leaked our deciphering techniques to the other side. Anyone can read it if they have the book. The contents are...It is not a book meant to be seen in the light. Is Garett''s life worth more than the life of millions?" If it was my life, surely Erik would not hesitate to give up the book... "...Are we supposed to let him die?" "I am ready to do that," Erik said resolutely. I ced my hands over my eyes as I began crying. "...I hate you, Erik." Erik pulled me into his embrace and continued holding onto me for what seemed like hours. More than hating him, I hated myself for agreeing with Erik''s decision... About a dayter, Garett''s head along with the heads of five other soldiers arrived at the front gate of the fortress. I broke down crying at the scene of seeing Garett''s decapitated head skewered and stuck onto a long wooden stick in the ground alongside with the other five soldiers. For the next three days, I locked myself in my room at the capital without any contact from the outside. I simply just lied in bed without eating or sleeping. I continuously wished that someone would bring me news that everything was just a ruse and that Garett was not actually dead. I eventually got back on my feet and began pulling all-nighters and overworking myself day in and day out. The war with the Balik Empire was imminent from how they killed off a rtive of royalty and began attacking our trade ports. This meant that I had to undergo war campaigns and make do with preparations to gather rations as well as soldiers for our cause. There was nothing but more work to be done. Being sad was the least of my worries. Before I knew it, six months had passed me by. When I finally had a day of rest, I used my time to just lie in bed without doing anything. Erik had crawled over me while I was napping and woke me up. It had been a while since west shared a bed awake together. Our schedules did not align. When it did, we would just sleep side by side without exchanging so much as a word to each other. "Erik?" "Ari, let''s have a child," Erik said suddenly. We had not tried anything again since that incident... "Let''s not..." I said as I turned my head away from him. "It has been six months." "The preparations for war will not get done by themselves." "Leave it to other people." "No..." "...You are so stubborn. Is it because of Garett?" "...How could you ask me that?" Bringing his name up in this situation? "The reason you refuse to do anything with me is because of him, right? Why is it a curse?" "...Can you still hold me if you knew I slept with him?" I asked as I turned my body away. Erik straddled me and pinned my wrists down. "You are smart, Arielle...That''s why I know you are lying to get me to hate you." Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. "...We kissed, hugged each other with our bare bodies and...." "Arielle!" "When you found me, you could smell all of my unfaithfulness all over my body," I said as I began crying. "I am filthy. I do not deserve to be held by you." "I know you better than yourself...When you lie, you w yourself in the palm of your hand just like what you are doing right now." I gasped. Erik knew me too well... "N-No...I really did ept Garett..." I never copted with Garett. He respected my feelings and never took it that far with me even though he could have easily done it with his strength. I had prepared myself in case I would be forced to go along with Garett''s desires, but his love and respect for me prevailed over his lust. "You never epted him...That is why you feel so guilty, but I don''t. I don''t regret my decisions. He chose that path for himself a long time ago as well. That is why I will make our dreame true," Erik said as he ripped my nightgown. "For you, for Garett, and for myself...I am going to make you have my child right here." "Wait...Stop!" I was forced to apany Erik under several passionate nights until my strength would give out and repeat the process the next day. Even if my heart was not ready, my body was always willing to respond... Rather than using the shared act for love, all I felt was a heavy burden of being forced to make an heir. Erik disregarded myints and continued on with his path to dominate me fully no matter how cruel he was. The psychological burden of my heart not being ready added onto my daily stress and eventually distorted my memories. Within a few weeks, I became pregnant with newly imnted memories I had created along my forgetfulness of Garett''s death...all to protect myself. Erik was cruel in his ways. Even so, he achieved the results he wanted at the expense of my mental stability. The child in my stomach became surprisingly a source of happiness for me despite the cruel process it was first formed in. Had he not done so, maybe the weight of my feelings would have surely destroyed me... Garett died early in my first life because of this book. The book contains information on how to make several weapons on how to decimate arge amount of people. It was used as a bargaining chip for Garett''s life when he was being held hostage. The Balik Empire had been provided information that Arundel was holding this book and had obtained information on how to decipher Asmariannguage from a spy in our territory. However, the person I med the most in all of this was myself as the person who released the deciphering techniques of the ancientnguage. Chapter 32: Hallucination Chapter 32: Hallucination I copsed onto the floor. I killed Garett...I killed Garett...I killed Garett... I let Garett die in my first life because of my mistakes... I was a psychological mess and had been under severe stress both mentally and physically and Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. forgotten about it all before I died. I did not want to remember this! Only now can I make sense of my real memories. My instability led me to take my own life along with my child. That is probably why I did not hesitate one moment when I tried to kill myself knowing full well that I was pregnant. I probably hated that child growing inside of me that much... "You killed Garett and me," a grown up Erik said as he slowly approached me. He was wearing his crown and inauguration outfit. "You are not real," I said as I gripped my skirt. He kneeled before me and ced his hand over my cheek. The hallucination I created was so real that I could even feel heat radiating from his touch. "Ari, I am very real..." I jumped back slightly and began holding in my chest that felt like it wanted to pop out. "No..." Erik took the book off of the disy and began flipping through the pages as he walked around with the book. "Society is constantly going through a pattern of advancement and destruction. To uncover the mysteries of our ancestors, we have to look into their past and learn from their mistakes. Sometimes the answer to our current problems lies in the past. A time ridden with war...barbarians running amok...the once in a while scientific breakthrough. No matter what happened, they destroyed themselves in the end because there will always be idiots walking amongst ourselves." "I am the idiot..." "Don''t take this the wrong way, Ari...You have done very well to support Arundel. Without you, Arundel would not have grown to be one of the strongest nations in military or trade power. Even your help in deciphering Asmariannguage helped medicine develop so far. You have saved millions of people. The only cost were the people you loved. Every time you made an advancement, someone slipped through your fingers as it was for Garett and for me." It suddenly felt like my chest was beingpressed by an overbearing weight. His tone was gentle, but every word cut deeply in my soul. "...I never intended to hurt you," I said as tears fell down my face. Erik dropped the book a far distance away and brought me into his strong embrace. "...Are you willing to forgive yourself yet?" "Erik?" "I thought that if I told you the words you wanted to hear; you could find some closure." "Closure?" "I don''t me you, Arielle...not for anything. The only one who mes you is yourself. You are kind to others, but never to yourself. That was one of the reasons I fell for you, but this has to stop. You cannot keep ming yourself for things that are not your fault." My hands shakily held onto him. "Why..." Why does he feel so real? "If anyone, I am the person that you cannot forgive." "What?" "I knew you did not want to make a child so soon after Garett died. Your heart was not ready, but I forced you anyways. I thought that if I could not bind your heart, then at least I can bind your body to me. I hated my methods, but it worked...Your heart eventually followed after me and you began smiling again. A child was given life inside of you, but I felt like I had lost a few bits and pieces of you in the process. I regret acting hasty towards you...You were hurting, but I only knew how to help was by being cruel. It would make sense if you hated our child too." "I never hated our child...I always wanted a child with the man I have always loved, but I felt guilty towards the person I could not respond to. I was truly happy when I had a child with you." "I am d that you also loved our child." "Of course, I would...It was the child I made with you." "Our love died that time...You are under no obligation to love me again. That''s why I want you to choose your own happiness this time even if I will not be a part of it. Don''t get caught up in trying to save me or protecting this country. It is fine if you just protect what you want," he said. I felt Erik''s lips over mine. "I love you the most, Ari." "I love you too, Erik." I tried holding onto him tighter only to find myself hugging onto air. The older Erik was gone the next time I blinked. "Are you alright?" someone''s voice said. "Garett?" I said as I turned around. Far from Garett, it was the current thirteen-year-old Prince Erik. I never hallucinated this current Erik. I felt cold sweat run down my neck when I realized he was real. My whole body told me to run before he could see my face. My legs were locked from earlier. All I could do was ce my hands over my face and hope that he would not see me. "Arielle!" I heard Garett said. "Garett..." ''Help me'' I begged with my eyes. "I will take it from here if you do not mind, Your Highness," Garett told Prince Erik. "She is shy around strangers..." "I understand," Prince Erik said as he left. Garett ran beside me and crouched in front of me with a worried expression. "Are you alright?" he asked as he held my hands. My heart calmed down immediately. Garett''s presence was giving me the support I did not know I needed. "...I am fine now," I said as I squeezed his hands. Garett pulled me upwards and released my hands. "What were you doing here?" he asked. "...I stumbled in." Was there a better answer? I definitely do not want him to think I was clumsy. He suddenly took notice of something on the ground. It was the book that the Erik hallucination was holding before. Why was it there? I never moved from this spot. The book should have been on the disy. The only person that went over there was the hallucination. He could not have... "Did you drop a book here?" Garett asked as he reached for it. I grabbed the book and ran outside to the fountain in the center of the museum and threw it in the water. The pages and binding all fell apart and disintegrated in the water. "...I won''t let you die either," I mumbled under my breath. I will protect everything I love in this life. Chapter 33: Returning Home Chapter 33: Returning Home After I threw the book into the fountain, Garett did not ask too many questions about it. Rather, he actually helped me clean it up and helped me continue destroying the book with me. The weeklong vacation break happened shortly afterwards. I left Exurbia Library with Charlotte. I offered Garett a ride as well since he was going home as well, but he refused saying that he had another ride prepared by his family. It is possible that Prince Erik is on his way home as well...It was a tradition for male royalty to not see their fianc¨¦e until theiring-of-age ceremony. I found it easier to cope with seeing as though that was the case. I n on ending my engagement during this break with the uing event that happens once every year... "Wee home, Arielle," Mother said. "I''m home," I said as I greeted her. "My apologies, Young Miss," my mother''s butler Sebastian said. "The Master would like to see you." "You needed to see me, Father?" I asked him. My father looks as cool and distant as ever. At a nce, it looks like he is expressionless. His expression changes ever so slightly if one were to carefully examine him. I never really noticed how affectionate he was until muchter in my first life. For this life, I subconsciously showed him my affection as a loving daughter many times. Thus, the dynamic of our rtionship had now changed greatly. "Yes, I should get a few matters out of the way," he said as he opened his arms. He now greets me with a hug. I slowly walked towards him and identally collided into his chest. He embraced me despite my awkwardnding and pat my head gently. "I am home, Father..." "Wee back." We quickly got to serious matters. My father looked at me through a hardened gaze when we sat across from each other. "...Father..." So far, he has only been staring at me and not saying anything. "My apologies for staring...You just look so much like your mother when she was your age." This wife obsessed father of mine...Everything you say contrasts your looks too much. "Father, maybe it is best to spend some more time with Mother?" I suggested. "I will think about it. She asked for more dates, but I am not sure of what to do..." Am I a marriage counselor for my parents? "Sebastian is a verypetent Butler with several children of his own. He may be able to help you with various things." "I see..." "...Is that all, Father?" "No...I was just wondering how things were going with Prince Erik. I was informed that he sent you various letters and presents, and that you have yet to ept any of them. Are you displeased with the contents or the person?" "Those kinds of things are more difficult to return once epted..." "Has Prince Erik dome anything to provoke you?" my father asked with a concerned expression. Father was loyal to the King and to the Royal Family. I doubt that he would agree with my decision to break away from Prince Erik. "I would like to end my engagement with Prince Erik." "Arielle, you are aware that we are not in a position to easily make those kinds of decisions and about the repercussions that may follow?" "I understand fully well...Still, I cannot back down from my decision. I have my reasons." Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. "I see...You are mature enough to make your own decisions," he said with an ever so slight smile. "I heard from your mother that you had met a boy?" I suddenly felt very embarrassed talking about such things with him. "I am not particrly close with any male..." "Your mother said that there was for sure a beautiful ck-haired boy with sses..." Is my father talking about Garett? "That person is a colleague!" I replied frantically. "I see..." I feel like the world is trying to push the two of us together even though our rtionship is not like that...If our rtionship is not like that, I wonder what we are. We are both of the opposite sex and simr in age. There is also a line of frankness that we do not pass each other like friends. Hees and saves me in perilous conditions, so it is a protector rtionship or a mother? I am currently more concerned that my engagement has not been broken yet... The King of Arundel is a bit entric. King Arundel created a scavenger hunt event about four years ago. A blue teardrop jewel is hidden every year. Those that find the jewel are allowed one wish from the King. That wish could be anything from alleviation from taxes for a year, or a substantial amount of reward money, and or even a day of being King for a day. Thest one is pushing it a little... It is supposed to be a bit of fun for everyone, but there has never been a person who has been able to sessfully find it before. Even if they did, it would usually be impossible to get. In my first life, I remembered actually solving the riddles made by the King concluded that that there was a jewel in the eye socket of a stone bird in the Statue of Gis located in the main town square. The climb looked brutal for even the most talented Knights. Since I did not have a wish, I let it be for anyone else who could find it. In the end, no one found the jewel. I n on taking that jewel for myself this year and having my wish granted. My n was to wait it out until the night where there is a lower chance of an audience gathering and climb up the Statue of Gis with a rope and grappling hook I made when I was an apprentice cksmith over one summer. I found a spot in the shade under arge tree and opened up a book. "Excuse me, do you happen to have any change?" a young man asked me. "I would like to buy a banana crepe, but I do not have suitable change." I looked up from my book and saw that a young nobleman with long golden hair and deep green eyes was standing before me. It was His Majesty King Arundel himself! I quickly handed him some change. "This is all I have..." I said trying to sound as masculine as I could. I was wearing male clothes and had my hair tucked into a hat just in case I ran into Erik or someone I did not want to meet. It has only been five minutes since I sat down in the town square and I had met His Majesty himself. "Let me give you something aspensation," His Majesty said. "No need," I said as I tipped my hat slightly. Please do not notice me... "...Thank you very much then," he said as he went on his way. I gave a sigh of relief. "...He''s gone." I wonder why he is out without any guards? The adults in this nation are all so strange. "I brought some guava juice," His Majesty said as he returned momentster. "W-W-Why are you back?" "I found some spare change deep in my pockets, so I came back to return your money and bring you a drink as well," he said as he handed me a cup. "You seem like you could use a drink." This King is so odd... "Let me at least pay for my drink then," I said. "What kind of adult would I be if I let you pay for a drink I one sidedly bought for you?" You did just take my money... "Thank you very much then, Your Majes...kind Sir." "What are you doing out here?" he asked as he sat beside me. You are sitting with me? I feel like screaming internally. "I wanted to get some light reading done," I said as I showed him my book. "...Is this poetry?" he asked as he closely examined the book. Looking at him closely like this reminds me a bit of Garett''s quiet personality with Prince Erik''s looks. "Have you read it before?" I asked him. "No... my son likes to read these types of books." I liked King Arundel very much in my first life. He reminded me much of my own father, so I often found sce by his side despite the often power-hungry environment. Prince Erik never seemed too fond of him since he often felt pressured to be perfect at a young age. They settled their differences eventually, but it would not be for a long time. I am just d that he is willing to pay attention to Erik even in this life. "Are you close with your son?" I asked him. "I am not sure by what close means...We are rted by blood, yet he resembles more of his mother in the ways that they arepassionate. Without our only blood connection, I have no other way of getting close to him. There are times where I am not able to understand him and question if our rtionship will always be like this," His Majesty said. "Maybe he actually holds a deep hatred towards me..." "You can always try understanding him," I said as I handed him my book. "...You are giving this to me?" he asked with widened eyes. "Books are meant to be shared after all." "Thank you," he said with a smile as he got up from the ground. "I am going to go home and read it with my son." "Good luck," I told His Majesty. I will probably never see that book again...At least it will be going to the current Prince Erik. It was not until another hourter that I realized that the event would be announced until tomorrow morning... With the announcement that the jewel had been hidden and the release of the riddles on its way, the capital became a very merry ce. Business became a bit slow as a result of half the poption was desperately looking for the jewel. I was able to secure a patio seat at a very popr restaurant quite easily without having to use my name since it was so empty. "...You are the same person from yesterday," His Majesty said. He is here again? I had changed my clothes, but wore the same hat as yesterday, yet he still found me again. I dressed as a male, while His Majesty wandering about a second time in a row without his guards. I wonder who the saner person among us is... "Would you like to take a seat?" I offered him. He seemed like he was going to take it anyways... "If you do not mind..." I waved my hand. A waiter arrived with some Earl Grey tea and some scones with heavy cream on the side. "I hope that you do not mind that I already ordered for you," I said. He stared at his te for a short while. "These are all of my favorites," His Majesty said. I suddenly choked on my tea out of the realization I picked his favorites out of my past life''s habit. "What a coincidence...Was the book interesting?" I asked him in order to change the topic. "It was so interesting that I finished it in one night." His Majesty''s expressions are even more difficult toprehend than my father''s. "I am d that you found it interesting." "...I gave the book to my son yesterday since you said that books are meant to be shared. He seemed very happy about it." I felt a smile iing on my face. "That''s great." If Prince Erik and His Majesty can findmon ground even faster than the first life, it would be a happy thing. "Are you engaged?" I identally spit out my drink. "E-Engaged?" "It is too bad that I do not have another child to offer marriage to you. If only he wasn''t engaged..." "Don''t you only have a son?" He took a sip of his tea. "...Is that a problem?" I am dressed as a boy... "I am not looking to be betrothed..." "You are still young. One day that answer will change." "It is because I am young that I am not yet able to fully make clear decisions. My answer will change, but my immaturity still stands." "...You are a rather sensible child." "...Thank you." A sensible child would not be sitting sofortably across from you and having a conversation like this. "I just wonder why a sensible childlike yourself is reading in a ce like this?" "I happen to like reading at this restaurant." "You were not sitting here yesterday." "...Must I always sit in the same spot to read?" "People generally choose quiet ces to read, yet you chose toe here two times in a row." "I think it is a bit odder for an adult to spend much of their time with someone my age." "I am waiting to pass the time for someone to solve the riddle here. You just also happened to be here." "The riddle?" "The riddle to the scavenger hunt... It was created by me after all." Chapter 34: Scavenger Hunt Chapter 34: Scavenger Hunt "The scavenger hunt was created by me after all," His Majesty said. Is he really going to reveal his identity to a stranger he just met? I remained quiet as I let him continue speaking. "The scavenger hunt for the Blue Tear Jewel was my idea." How do I respond to this? "...I see." "You do not think I may be lying?" "You do not seem to be the type to lie to me, kind Sir," I said as I drank my second cup of tea. "Even if I asked for a hint, I doubt that you would hand it over to me so easily." "You are quite interesting. How about I give you a hint if you are able to urately guess my upation?" I already know where the jewel is and His Majesty being a King... "You are a Noble..." "Why do you say that?" "Your clothes are of high quality from how the thickness of the fabric that they do not belong to a simple merchant..." "I would not say that you are wrong...Now, what do I do as a Noble?" "Order people around?" "...The way you phrase it makes me sound like a tyrant. I am actually the King." He revealed it... "You are King as much as I am a Duke''s Daughter..." His Majesty chuckled softly. He really does not look his age. Some might suspect that he is in his early twenties with his looks and demeanor. If only he would make gentle looks like this more often, maybe he would not be misunderstood so often. "Your Majes...Sir Arun!" Father called out. I quickly tried to hide under my hat. "Oh, Triton..." Triton is my father? His name is Triston Fire Maddox...my father being called Triton must be a nickname then. They seem very close. Even His Majesty seems rxed in front of my father. "Your Majes... Sir Arun, please call me by my name." My father fumbled twice. "We have known each other for a long time." "That is no reason to...May I ask who this individual is?" Father asked. I quickly bowed my head towards my father. I felt his hard stare bore a hole through me. "A conversationpanion," His Majesty replied. "...You cannot keep leaving the premises like this." "I created the scavenger hunt in order to have some leisure time. With everyone out and about, most seats are free." Devious King... "You and your whims..." My father sighed. "I will follow you if you let me borrow some money," His Majesty said. He ced down some money onto the table. "Thank you for amodating me." When they left, my father looked back once. I am really sorry... I went home for a bit and left before dawn broke. I wore a short brown wig and had my climbing equipment on me before I left in a hurry. Just in case anyone would see me, I wore a half face mask. I secured a climbing route with the grappling hook and rope and began climbing the statue. After climbing to the top of the base, I reached my hand out towards the little bird statue and rubbed one of its eyes. A natural sparkle came from the beautiful jewel. I tied my waist to the statue and began picking at it with the tools I had avable. The jewel into my hand and was ced into a pouch I made earlier. I undid the rope and slid down the base of the statue. The climb was rather exhausting, so I went back home to rest. In the morning, I wiped myself with a washcloth and dressed myself in a long light pink and dress with a white ruffled neckline, circr flounce sleeves, and an A-line skirt with ruffles in the back. I added a whitece choker and half parted my hair back with arge white ribbon. Ste had called me down for breakfast with my family. Seeing my father eat in the morning was a rare sight. He usually set off for the castle early in the morning. "Good morning, Father and Mother," I said as I delivered a light curtsy. I joined my father and my mother at a very quiet table. "...Arielle," Father called. "Yes, Father?" I answered him. "...Do you have hobbies like that?" he asked with a worried expression. He did notice... Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. "What do you mean by that, Father?" I asked him while ying innocent. "Never mind..." It is better that we both forget about it. "I have business to attend toter today," I told my father. "I will be back before dinner." "Be careful then," Father said. "Yes, Father." I had Ste my maid apanies me to the castle in a horse drawn carriage. She handed a guard my letter. We were both brought in immediately and sent to afortable waiting room with tea and snacks. Within a few minutes, we were greeted by His Majesty. His usual clothes were of a higher upgrade than when he snuck out of the castle. I quickly did a curtsy and greeted him. His Majesty remained silent. When I took a peek at him, he seemed to look very surprised. I wondered if I did anything to offend him. His expression soon changed to a gentler tone. "Wee, Lady Arielle. It is a beautiful day outside. Would you care to join me in the garden?" His Majesty asked. "I would be honored to join you, Your Majesty." We sat underneath arge tree in the center of the garden. "It has been a while since I have seen you..." "Yes...I have note to visit you to for some time due to my studies." "...You have be much like your mother." Mother? "Do you know of my mother?" I asked His Majesty. His Majesty''s gaze followed a blue butterfly that flew across the table. "Your father and mother are good friends of mine," His Majesty said with a mncholic expression. "I see..." It feels like a topic I should not delve into too much. "I hear that you have something?" I took out the pouch in my pocket and revealed the light blue tear drop jewel. "I found the jewel in the eye of a bird at the Statue of Gis." "Gis was a Saint who blessed thend with bountiful fresh water through praying for three days straight. Whenever she prayed, a flock of beautiful doves would always gather in front of the church...It served a rather good purpose as a good hiding spot." "...Is it alright to desecrate such a monument?" I asked worriedly. "I only carved out one of the bird''s eyes. It was not like I harmed the saint herself." I think that still counts... "Your Majesty used several hints from the past few years in order to point it towards one location. In reality, Your Majesty never intended it to be found until there were enough hints gathered. Otherwise, it would have been impossible to find." "I wanted just a few days to be free from obligation of a King...When I was young, it was expected that the oldest sibling would be King." "Your Majesty was the oldest then?" He shook his head. "No, I was third in line to the throne. Not many people thought that I would ascend to this position, so I was left to my own free reigns without much attention by my parents nor my attendees. I was allowed to go wherever I wanted, eat whatever I desired, y to my heart''s content, associate with whoever I wanted to, and fall in love with whoever I wanted. My peace eventually ended when my eldest brother died from a chronic illness and my second eldest brother let his greed lead to his own downfall." "I see..." "I do not think I was particrly very close to them because our mothers were all different people, but I remember our conversations always being pleasant when were together." "Was it difficult bing King?" I asked His Majesty. "I had to give up a lot of things such as my freedom, my time, and my love for my duty. The previous King forced an engagement on me with a youngdy of a powerful family. At the time, I was already in love with a girl my age. I was unable to love her because I needed the use of that other youngdy''s help since I grew up without making connections with anyone. I never knew how important such a thing was until I suddenly became first in line for the throne...It was due to my ipetence that I had to rely on my own wife to get people to gain power and watch the one I loved the most walk into the arms of another man." "Did you not love your wife, Your Majesty?" "I eventually grew to care about her...Our simple feelings for each other evolved and our son was born because of that." Just like in the case with His Majesty''s marriage, he eventually fell in love with his marriage partner. I also fell for Prince Erik until muchter in our engagement. I want to support Prince Erik like thete Queen and His Majesty. However, I want to save Prince Erik even if it means I have to save him from me. "What would you like to wish for?" His Majesty asked. I felt as though my throat narrowed as I tried to release the words from my mouth. I looked deeply into the eyes of His Majesty. "I wish to end my engagement with Prince Erik. It is fine to reduce me back to a marriage candidate in order to appease those around us. I just wish to not be engaged any further to Prince Erik," I said as I went on my knees. "Off your knees, Child..." His Majesty helped me up back into my seat. "I apologize if this seems rude. I just wish not to be engaged to Prince Erik. He is a wonderful individual indeed, but I would like to decide my own husband for myself." "I suppose that asking you if you would change your mindter on would be an insult...It is rather unfortunate to let you go. If you do not mind me asking, say that you were to fall in love with my son, would you give him another chance?" "I think considering his personal feelings is the most important matter..." His Majesty handed me back the blue jewel. "I hope that you will ept it," he said. His Majesty is a strange King. "I am very grateful, Your Majesty," I said with a smile. This time, my heart felt relieved. I no longer felt the need to run away or hide anymore from Erik. Now, I can protect him from the sidelines. The old Erik told me to abandon him. There is just no way that I could possibly do that. Just like how he gave everything to save me, I will do the same. I was led out by an escort. Behind us, Prince Erik hade out of a corridor with a group of officials. He was discussing various budget issues while turning towards the direction of His Majesty. I turned towards him once, bowed my head, and did a curtsy in his direction. He probably did not see me, but that is fine...We are officially strangers now. When I returned home, my tears naturally fell from my face. I was sad how my engagement ended so easily by my own hands. Chapter 35: 2 Years Chapter 35: 2 Years Two years sounds like a long time. It was all very short for me. That is not to say that it was all boring. I was able to witness Maura getting married to a Royal Guard, Senior Glen graduate, and even get a glimpse of Asmarian ruins. My agreement with my father ends here. I muste back home in order to prepare for my debutante that will ur within a year. For the ride home, I went with Charlotte in her carriage. Surprisingly enough, she was able to get Garett toe along with us this time. Garett was older than me by one year, so he had to return home anyways for hising-of-age ceremony. He always refused toe along with us until now. "I am d that Garett came along with us this time," I said. "I don''t mind if this is the only time..." He seemed a bit lucid. Can I be selfish enough to think that he will miss us? "This may be thest time we will all be together like this," Charlotte said. "We should all use this time to take a short break!" Garett and I suddenly had a bad feeling as we both looked out the windows on opposite sides. "The sea!" Garett and I said in unison. We were passing through familiar ins that led to a port city called Lovnd. "She pulled one over us," I said as I touched my head lightly. "Are you alright on time, Garett?" "One or two shenanigans will not derail me that much from my uing day." "Can Charlotte and Ie?" I asked Garett as I moved closer to him. The celebration is just a bit fancier than a birthday. Garett''s face turned red slightly. I learned that Garett had a slight blushing disease whenever he woulde in contact with women of the opposite sex. When Ie within a certain distance, his face bes red and he bes rather submissive. Charlotte told me that if I wanted anything from him, I should act this way. I found the process a bit strange and slightly embarrassing. He clutched himself to his seat. "N-No..." "No?" "...It is embarrassing to have you see me all dressed up for it," Garett said. I never had the chance to witness aing-of-age ceremony even in my first life. I wanted to be the first to see Erik before, so I waited for Erik in the garden. "It is a rather fantastic sight, Arielle," Charlotte said. Charlotte has six other siblings. Of those six, she has four older brothers and two younger sisters "Please?" "...N-No." Just then, the carriage hit a snag in the road and propelled me into Garett''s arms. "I''m sorry..." "It''s fine...Just get up." Another snag propelled me up onto Garett''sp. "I''m really sorry!" "Why is the road so bumpy here?" Garett asked. "It''s a detour. You two might want to hold on to something. It will be a while before we are free," Charlotte said. There is nothing for me to hold onto... I suddenly felt Garett''s arm go under my legs and wrap around my body. "...Just hold on to my neck," Garett said as he held onto a handlebar to his left. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck. Another bump on the road caused me totch on tightly to Garett''s neck. The situation had been extremely embarrassing for me because I had begun going through puberty a second time and had put on much weight because of it. "Blehhhhh!" Garett said as he puked off the side of the road. I felt like puking myself but withheld myself for the sake of my image. Charlotte was the same as me. "...Let''s find a less bumpy road on our way to the capital," I suggested to Charlotte with a handkerchief pressed to my mouth. "It was a one-time thing. If it happened too often, it would not be exciting anymore... Anyways, I have somevender for you, Arielle," Charlotte said as she handed me a small bottle of essential oil. She soon went over to Garett and began patting his back and handed him a simr bottle. "Spearmint for you." Watching the two of them, I felt a slight loneliness. When Charlotte got married, she left the capital to be with her husband. Garett became an official at the castle and stayed along side me, only to leave shortly afterwards because of me. Without Erik or His Majesty by my side, I would always feel a sense of loneliness despite always being surrounded by other people. Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. I would always be considered a Queen before I was a person... "It is the sea!" Charlotte said as she happily pranced around outside of our carriage. "It really is the sea," I said in awe. The ocean was a vast body of water with no end. The deep blue color of the water was nothing like I had ever seen before. The air tasted a bit salty as well. "Let''s get a closer look then," Charlotte said as she grabbed me by my hand and gently pulled me along. Garett was left behind with Charlotte''s attendant. Charlotte and I ran across arge bridge and were able to look at the sea from a higher elevation. There were some people fishing around the sides of the high bridge and were kind enough to show us their catches from using just a long rod, some strong string, and some cheap bait. Garett finally caught up to us until muchter. He began making references to books he read about that were rted to the sea and then enthusiastically brought us to a restaurant that served raw fish. His stomach was still under some trauma, so he decided to opt out of raw foods and ordered some fresh m chowder instead. Charlotte mercilessly ate raw fish in front of Garett and proceeded with multiple helpings of other cooked as well as raw sea creatures. "...You are a Demon," Garett said to Charlotte as we made our exit. Charlotte continuedughing to her heart''s content. "They have sea ss jewelry!" Charlotte said as she bounced to the next area. Her attendant followed quickly after her and left the two of us behind. "She never stops moving, does she?" Garett said. "It is one of the things I like most about her," I said. "You are quite strange yourself..." "I must have caught her disease," I said with a smile. We sat down on a nearby bench with a view of the sea because Charlotte said she needed more time shopping around. "Hold out your hands," Garett ordered. I held out my hands towards him. Garett handed me a small white paper bag in my hands. "...This is?" "It''s a bookmark with a tassel made of pink sea ss. You seemed a bit down for awhile now..." "...It was that obvious. I am just worried about the future." "...Are you going to the Royal Academy in Arundel?" Garett started. "Yes. Is it the same for you?" "Not by choice." "I had to give up a lot of things such as my freedom, my time, and my love for my duty," King Arundel''s voice resonated in my head. I lived my whole life for Erik. Now, I am no longer bonded by that duty. The future is no longer clear anymore. "Do you have a particr future in mind?" I asked Garett as I clenched my skirt. "Judging from my family, it is expected that I will be an official at the castle." "Are you also bounded by your duty?" "...Are you worried that we will never see each other again?" "I am..." "You are so silly. There is no reason to feel lonely since we will definitely see each other again," he said with one of his rare smiles. "With you around, I do not get bored as often." Without me noticing, Garett was already holding onto my right hand. I felt a bit embarrassed holding his hand after so long. We were past the age of just children but not yet an adult. Lovnd Port City is part of my family''s fiefdom. It would make sense that we would arrive at my home first. "...Maddox Family crest?" Garett said as he examined the crest at the gate of my family residence. "This is my home after all," I said. I suddenly remembered that I had hidden the fact that I was a Maddox from using my aunt''s name. Garett was Erik''s cousin. He would have heard of my name before at least once before. "Many people have been after Arielle ever since she was young," Charlotte said. "Can you imagine being a Duke''s Daughter and traveling to a different country by yourself as a young woman? Arielle has to use her aunt''sst name in order to protect herself if the need ever arisen where she needed some influence." I did not want Charlotte speaking over for me, so I said, "I thought it did not matter what family I belonged to, so I never felt the need to tell you. If Charlotte was not my childhood friend, I would not have told her either. My family circumstances and my rtionships with other people because of it are My parents came to greet us at the front door. "Wee home, Arielle," my mother said. "Wee Sir Garett and Lady Charlotte to my estate," Father said. "Thank you for allowing my friends toe over, Father," I said as I made a curtsy. My mother seemed to whisper something in my father''s ear. He coughed into his fist afterwards. "Enjoy your stay for as long as you two would like," Father said. "I have business to attend to." "I have set up some refreshments in the garden," Mother said. I sat next to Garett and Mother, following Charlotte across from me. We were all suddenly sitting together with some afternoon snacks and some tea. "Everything is delicious, Lady Amalie," Charlotte said. "Thank you very much, Charlotte... Does it suit your pte, Sir Alvin?" Mother asked Garett. I almost forgot that Garett''s family name was Alvin. It was a name that I rarely ever heard of. For a branch of the royalty, that is a bit odd. "Everything is delicious, Duchess," Garett said with his usual professional smile. My mother stared intensely at Garett for some reason. "Sir Alvin, I feel as though we have met before..." Mother said as she pondered the thought. Mother has met Garett before then? "...The world is a small ce," Garett said. "That is true... I believe that a small world calls for more action then. Are you engaged, Sir Alvin?" Mother asked. "If not, what do you think of Arielle?" "Mother..." "You are not engaged, so I am worried about a beautiful boy... fine young man like Garetting by," Mother said. "Beautiful men is justice," Charlotte said softly. My mother and Charlotte shared a look ofradeship for a moment. "...What is going on?" Garett asked me. I stared back at Garett. Garett and Erik practically had the same faces. However, it seemed that Garett had more refined looks and exuded a cool but beautiful aura. His looks could easily ensnare any man or women. "...I have no idea what they are talking about." I will never admit that I think Garett is more beautiful than me. It is embarrassing to lose to a boy in terms of feminine looks. Chapter 36: 1 More Year Chapter 36: 1 More Year Garett never allowed me to see hising-of-age ceremony in the end. I did not feel like seeing Prince Erik either for some reason for his. Charlotte dragged me out anyways and we watched the ceremony together be on the equivalence of a miniature festival. I am d that she did because the sight of Prince Erik traveling down the main road in a high seat with decorative jewels all over him was a sight that I could never forget. One thing has changed... On Prince Erik''s birthday, I would often go out and buy Prince Erik the same presents I would in my first life and ce them in the chest to preserve the memory. Now, I only continue to write letters. The letters became much like a diary from how frequently I wrote them. Even after writing maybe over a hundred letters, I continued to write with the usual letter format and envelope. I have gone to the stationary stores so often that they now do delivery service only for my residence. I also began regrly exchanging letters with Garett. If I were topare the number of letters I would send to Garett and the amount I left stacked with my letters to Prince Erik, they were nearly the same amount with Prince Erik slightly in the lead. I found it a bit odd how Garett used the same tone of writing as royalty. It must be because direct lineage and indirect families are taught by the same Royal Tutors that ask every one of the bloodlines to write a certain way in order to preserve their heritage. "Young Miss, a package hase from you from Sir Garett," Ste said as she came in with arge pastel yellow box with an evergreen-colored ribbon. "...This is his way of saying that he is noting," I said dejectedly. "He must have had good intentions, Young Miss," Ste said. "...I will look at itter," I said as I ced the box on my bed. My debutante entrance went off without a hitch. I started wearing more effeminate dresses that hair. "You have be very beautiful, My Fair Lady," Randall Maddox my cousin of the same age said. Randall Maddox was part of Kaya Ouchi''s posse back in my first life. I do not doubt that Dolton had a part to y in bringing Kaya Ouchi in to meet me. I just do not believe that he alone had enough prestige or the brains to sneak her in. Multiple people must have been at work. The main people of power beside Kaya Ouchi were a follower of the church sect Gavin Lord, my cousin Randall Maddox, the son of a high ranked official Channing Wells, and the son of a Knight, Dolton Grass. Obviously, the first one I would expect is my family member. The people that can hurt you the most are always the people closest to you... "Thank you foring, Randall," I said with a professional smile. Holding in my contempt for him is more difficult than it seems. "It has been a while... For cousins, it is odd for us not to meet often." "I have heard of your business adventures." I had been able tounch off my make beauty product line after my sess in my shampoo and conditioner line. My failures from my first life helped propel my sess much faster than if I had not used my past memories. "...It is a bit rude to talk about business so early in catching up." "...My apologies for that. I think that talking about what you have been doing is part of catching up. It is just that my mother has been interested in yourpany''s products." "Oh? Really?" I know exactly how my uncle''s wife has been applying for my products. She is not someone directly rted, so I know that it is difficult for her to assert herself using her name in order to move up the waiting list. His mother sent Randall to me in order to build rtions with me in hope that could move up thedder. A woman''s greed for beauty has no bounds. "I was wondering if My Fair Lady would be willing to make an exception to the waiting list for my mother?" Randall has not done anything to me yet... How can I keep him submissive to me instead? "I will always make an exception for my cousin," I replied with a sweet smile. "I wonder if you are willing to do the same." He seemed taken aback my smile. I was emotionally unattached for the first few years of my life. It was only until I met Erik that I learned that I had emotions and became more invested in expressing myself because it proved to be more politically advantageous. Falsifying your facial expressions depending on the situation gives the person more edge. I learned from my mistakes and bettered myself for the sole reason of eliminating threats. "Of course, I would do anything for you, My Lady," he said. "My business is looking for a few interns to help with calcting finances. I thought that since you were top of your ss in mathematics it would be an easy transition for you toe in and handle." "...You would like help in your finance department, My Lady?" "...Yes, there is just so much to be done since it is a new business. I believe the experience will be good for you as well. Even without you asking about the matter of Auntie wanting to move up the waiting list, I would have made an exception because we are cousins. I really hope to work with you like old times," I said as I held his hands and smiled widely. "Also, it will give us an excuse to see each other more often." His face became a bit flushed. "I would be honored to serve you then, My Lady," Randall replied with a smile. "I look forward to working with you." I felt like throwing up. With that face that once looked at me with contempt will slowly turn into an ally. I hated that woman Kaya Ouchi. I dislike the people that stood by her almost as much. Even if I bring Randall to my side, I do not n on letting him in too close to my heart. I will act kind in Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. order to win his favor and make it so that he will not be able to fall in love with Kaya Ouchi by making the both of us seem as though we were on good terms. I will slowly pick them off one by one and make it so that Kaya Ouchi will not have a ce beside any of them. This is my role as the viinous... My debutante was deemed as a sess from how I received multiple marriage offers from several good families. I believe that most were from wanting to further themselves with my family''s prestige or something else they could take advantage of. I was not particrly fond of having multiple men I did not knowe up to me and striking a conversation with me. Randall seemed to sense my troubled feelings at one point and would asionally help me out of nasty situations. Am I wrong in my ways? I thought that not letting my cousin be close to me would help me think more clearly from an unbiased standpoint. Randall was never particrly rude to me in our early years together. We just drifted apart and the appearance of Kaya Ouchi brought new feelings to surface. However, men are easy to cast their past feelings for a heated moment... That was especially true for those who were intoxicated with Kaya Ouchi''s scent. There was no guarantee that he would not be poisonedter. As I thought, I cannot trust him either. I will use his familial and business obligations to make it so that he would lose everything if he were to ever cross me... If he does bite my hand, he will never have the power to bite me again. When I got to my room, my first instinct was to take off my heavy dress and change into my more spread wide. My forehead came into contact with arge box while I was rolling around in my bed. I had left Garett''s unopened present on my bed before I left for my debutante just so that I would not forget to open it. "He did not have to get me anything..." It has been roughly a year since Ist saw Garett. I felt that it would have been strange to invite a male who was not my fianc¨¦ or lover to my residence without any kind of event, so I waited until my family had any gatherings or until now to invite him over. He never epted any of my invitations. I should have expected that he would refuse toe this time around as well, but I had a feeling that maybe this time would be different because of my birthday. A gift came from him as a recement for his presence. I unraveled the neatly tied bow and opened the box to find a nearly identical bear to the first one I received from Garett. It was a beige bear with light pink and whitece ribbons around its neck and one sewn on its ear. At the bottom of the crate was a letter. "Happy Birthday, Arielle." "...If you were going to give me something so wonderful, I would have preferred getting it in person." One more year before I enter the Academy... Chapter 37: Falling into You Chapter 37: Falling into You Another year had gone by very quickly. This year, I turned sixteen. It was already time for me to enter the Royal Academy. My uniform was a bit shorter skirt as I remembered, so I had trouble walking around with arge draft between my legs, but the gates covered in white roses that weed the new students was exactly as how I remembered. I soon heard squealing near therge metal gates. In the center of the madness was a single being with the stature of an archangel with his xen colored hair and a smile more beautiful than any devil. My eyes were unable to separate from the man I once loved the most. All I could do was stare nkly at the portrait of a man surrounded by hundreds of flowers. For a moment, it appeared as if the mirage of Prince Erik was growing closer to me. I gasped when I found that he was no mirage but Prince Erik himself. He smiled softly as he handed me a red rose with a pink ribbon. I took the flower with shaky hands. "Thank you, Your Highness," I told him as I gave a curtsy. This ce is a royal yground for this person. I should not expect so much out of a simple flower. "A flower for yourself," he said as he handed another girl a flower of a different species. I looked back at Prince Erik once. He was a different person from the Erik I once knew. I thought that he would have snatched a youngdy already. However, there are no news of His Highness ying around once again. I wonder what his aim was in giving me the flower... I brought the flower back to my room before ss and made my way to ss where I bumped into Charlotte. She was holding the same white lily as before. "Greetings, Charlotte." "We are together again, Arielle," Charlotte said as she embraced me. "I''m d to see you again, Charlotte." Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. "We are going to have lunch together in the Library today," Charlotte said excitedly as it came to lunchtime. "Have you seen Garett yet?" I asked. "...Not particrly," she answered. I felt slightly suspicious from her short dy in answering me. "I see." Weter visited the second floor and asked around if anyone knew of Garett. He was nowhere to be found. No one knew or had heard of his name. When I asked who was at the top of their grade, only Prince Erik''s name shown up. There was not a trace of Garett anywhere. It was as if he had never Charlotte and I continued our search for Garett for the rest of the week. It almost seemed like Charlotte were on a missing person''s case. The identity of Garett was almost nonexistent even in Arundel. It seems that Garett''s name was an alias. The Alvin family was a not well-known branch of the royal family. When Charlotte had asked them if they had a Garett in the family, they seemed as if they were troubled by our appearance and quickly sent us away. This made me wonder how my letters were being sent out. Were the replies even from Garett himself? His words and manners were identical to Garett himself... "Either Garett has gotten better at hiding or he really does not attend school here," Charlotte said. We made sent our search to the school library for a list of people who had attended in the previous few years. "I''m so confused...Are thest four years a lie?" I asked Charlotte. "He is more honest than he lets on. Garett cares about you a lot more than you may think...I cannot imagine him writing letters to a girl he does not like," Charlotte reasoned. I heart still felt sore even though I trusted Garett... "Hardly...I have not seen Garett since our time by the ocean. Our rtionship is just that simple," I said solemnly. "Simple? Hm..." "What is it, Charlotte?" I asked her. "How do you feel about Garett?" Charlotte asked me. "You seem overly concerned about someone you worked with for a few years." "What do I think? Garett is very serious at his work, humble towards his peers, and a very kind and caring person." I answered honestly. Charlotte looked at me with wide eyes. "The way you look right now..." she mumbled. "Charlotte?" I called her name as I turned towards her. I identally lost my footing at the top of the stairs and tripped. "Arielle!" Charlotte reached her hand out to me, but I was unable to grab her hand in time. I''m falling! All I could do was hold out my hands in hope that they would break my fall. I felt my life pass me by within a matter of moments. I thought about all of the people I still wanted to see the most. In the end, the person that I wanted to see the most was not Erik. Thest person I imagined in my mind was Garett... What embraced meter was not the afterlife, but an arm tightly wrapped around my waist. I could tell that it was a man with a very sturdy figure holding onto me. My hands went around the corbone of the man to the top of his shoulders. I opened my eyes to see peerless beautiful emerald green eyes staring right back at me. My heart along with my breathing stopped. The only thing that moved was my hair in the wind. The face I was so familiar with was only a few centimeters from me. I slowly narrowed my eyes and turned my head slightly as I tried to make those lips mine. "Erik..." "...Um?" he said with a confused expression. I quickly snapped my head back and turned my head in the other direction. I felt incredibly embarrassed. Just what was I trying to do to him? "Thank you for saving me, Your Highness," I said quietly. I felt the arm around my waist tighten for a moment before he ced my body back on the ground and released me. He coughed into his fist lightly. "...It is of no problem," Prince Erik said. "Then, I will take my leave," I said as I hurried down the stairs again. "Arielle, wait up!" Charlotte said. That was embarrassing...Prince Erik saw me in such a clumsy state and I almost tried to... I am an animal! If that was not all, I wanted to see Garett before I fell and I still do now. It was no coincidence. It is almost as if I have feelings for both Prince Erik and Garett. I do not understand... Why does my heart hurt for both of them? Chapter 38: Malice Chapter 38: Malice I began my Academy life with typical general sses, social sses, and then knightly studies on odd days in the morning. As expected, I was the only female within my ss. It did not sit well with male counterparts. Despite being born from a good family, people still look down on me simply because I was a female. In my first life, I was Prince Erik''s fianc¨¦e and not merely a high-born person. No one dared to harm me, only now am I seen as an outcast to my peers of both males and females. I had been training ever since I had regained my memories, but the difference in brawn between a male and female are noughing matter. I have to work hard every day by doing seven consecutiveps around the forest, at least one thousand sword swings, a hundred sit-ups, two hundred pushups, and making sure my body retained its suppleness and sticity from doing body stretching. My workout regime had increased at least three times from my previous life. As a result, I gained some more muscles but somehow, I still managed to keep my softness to my body. "Lady Arielle is a bit stuck up," a girl said from above on the second floor. My hearing was quite well, so I cannot imagine hearing her incorrectly. I continued to pay no mind to the whispers and continued on my way to ss. I soon felt some iing objecting my way from a shadow being casted on me. It was a flowerpot. As a flowerpot was about to drop on my head, I felt someone pull me from behind. "That is dangerous!" Randall yelled. It was my cousin Randall who saved me. "Oh...Randall. It has been a while," I said nonchntly. "Is that all you have to say seeing as though you almost got hurt?" Randall asked. I paid no mind to his question and began picking up therge pieces of the shattered pot up. "Do you mind getting a broom and dustpan?" I asked him. "Why should I leave you after what just happened?" Randall asked. "The culprit always leaves immediately aftermitting the crime," I answered him. He soon grabbed my wrist. "Stop this...You are bleeding," Randall said. He was right. I had cut my fingers and had not noticed. He pulled me by my wrist and gently pulled me along. I watched his long braided pink hair dance behind him. "...Not to the nurse. Rumors will spread," I said. Randall brought me behind the church located on campus. He knocked five times on the back door to which Gavin Lord opened the door. "One first-aid kit, please," Randall ordered. "Donations, please," Gavin said as he held out his hand. "The Church is a free service..." What an amusing and unlikely duo... "Right this way," Gavin said as he led us to their church run hospital. I cleaned my hands with fresh soap and water. I found it odd how my pain resistance went up to the point where I would not notice small cuts like these. To anyone else, it would be a bit worrying. I can still feel pain, so it is not much of a cause for worry. The reason for my desensitization is still a bit of a worry. "I will wrap it for you," Randall said as he moved the kit away from me. I reluctantly sat in front of him as he began wrapping my hand. He squeezed my hand lightly. "Does this not hurt?" I would not be lying if I said that it didn''t. "Why were you there?" I asked him. "I heard some rumors about girls seeing you with Prince Erik. Not everyone seemed too thrilled about it. When I heard that there were some people with bad intentions, I went to look for you because I was worried." Must have been from the fall...Did they think I fell on purpose? "Worried? I know that deep down you dislike me," I said. His hands stopped for a moment. "Why do you say that?" Randall asked. I tried to understand why anybody would be willing to detest me enough to set Kaya Ouchi onto me. None of them had a personal connection to me other than my cousin Randall. "I know that you have been pressured by your family to meet their expectations. You were always He continued wrapping my fingers. He sighed. "I suppose this is the reason why for your recent change in attitude towards me...No, you have always been cold towards me. Even your smiles were empty since the beginning." "I wonder why you epted my offer to work for me in the first ce if you knew that..." "Even if your smile was empty, you were still an awe-inspiring existence. Even one gaze from you would be enough. Working under someone like you was already a blessing in itself. Both of us would benefit from the connection in me gaining experience and how you would gain a corporate ve for yourself. There was no reason to refuse..." "You still eventually grew to hate me...I am not blind to those kinds of things," I said as I tried pulling my hand back. Randall refused to let me go and sent an awkward smile my way. "...That may have been true, until I got to know the real you. You work harder than anyone else to the point where you lose a part of yourself sometimes. More than hate or dislike, I respect you as much as I want to be like you. The image of you right now is much better than your false image from before." In my heart, I felt guilty from hating him for something he had yet to do. He was family and someone I once yed with...yet I still do not want him back in my heart. I pondered about whether I should wear gloves or not to my next ss. Gavin was willing to lend me a pair of white gloves that were the same kind used by the priests. I had already bled through my second set of bandages, so I felt reluctant about using pure white gloves over my hands. There was no time to stop by my dorm room either. Randall said that he would clean up the mess from the flowerpot. I offered to do it myself, but he absolutely forbids me from doing so. Such a worrywart... Charlotte saved me a seat in our next ss and waved at me. "Thanks for saving me a seat, Charlotte," I said. "No problem, Arielle." Charlotte was being random as ever. She somehow used her connections to have almost all the same sses as me. The only time where I do not see her is during my Knight Course studies because of the amount of exercise involved. "Why attend these sses if you were mainly interested in the arts?" I asked her. "I want to be with you," she said nonchntly. I felt a bit strange or having my heart race when she says stuff like this to my face. "Is there any other reason I need? Having art sses are fun and all, but there is less practicality involved. I am getting married, so the arts may be favored over my mind." Charlotte''s first cycle husband was Baron of Gregory in my first life. I never heard much about her marriage life. I always assumed that she was happy from how she always seemed cheery in her letters. It only goes to show you how little you truly know about the people closest to you. "If that is true, it would be a waste of your abilities." "Do you mean that?" "If Charlotte tried, you could easily surpass me in academics or practically anything else." Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. I soon noticed her staring at my bandages. "Arielle, those look painful. Are you alright?" she asked with a worried expression. "I am fine. These are from when I picked up a te I had broken." She seemed to ept my answer from how she smiled. "You should really let other people handle that, or at least be careful with your hands by using tools," Charlotte warned me kindly. Later after school, I followed Charlotte to her art club. I soon heard some giggling amongst a group of girls. Their voices were the same if not simr to the group that had dropped the flowerpot earlier. I tried not to make my face seen by moving behind Charlotte slightly. "Char, I have to return a book. I am really sorry that I cannot stay with you," I said with a smile. "I know that you will find another book while you are there, so let''s go back to the dorms together," Charlotte said. "Okay." I went back to the art room after returning my book to see Charlotte. It takes about fifteen minutes to walk to the library. I thought that I may as well just find another book while I was at the library. When I got there, it was as empty as ever. I knew that libraries were not a popr hangout for many people. It is a bit lonely that no one saw the same splendor. I made my way towards ssic literature and saw that there was someone else in that section. His blonde hair stood out and made me instinctively hide behind a bookshelf. It was Prince Erik himself... "...Am I in your way?" he asked. It was toote to say that I identally stumbled here or something like that. "Yes..." I blurted out loud. His eyes widened in surprise for a moment. "I am sorry about that," he said as he walked past me. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I made my way to the book I was looking for. The book I wanted was misced into a spot where I could not reach even if I walked on my toes. Even if I asked for adder, the librarian is not here... Should I give up on it? I soon felt arge shadow being casted over me. The book I was eyeing was suddenly lifted from above my head. I turned around to see that it was Prince Erik with the book. "Here," he said. I stared long and hard at the book before me. "Hm..." "...Is it the wrong one?" My heart suddenly jumped out of my chest. He is not a mirage... He is real! "...Ah, um...thank you," I said as I took the book from him. I quickly used the book to cover my face and made my way to the front desk where the librarian had just returned. As I was walking by, I heard multiple screams from girls in the distance. I told myself that it was not from the art room, but my legs were already in sprinting mode towards the art room. As I got closer, I knew for certain that the screams wereing from the art room! The image of the group of giggling girls popped into my mind. If any one of them hurt Charlotte, I would... "Charlotte!" I screamed her name as I pushed through the crowd of onlookers. "Arielle," Charlotte called my name. Her palm was bleeding. "Char!" I rushed to her side and applied pressure to her hand with my handkerchief. "I''m sorry about your handkerchief, Arielle," Charlotte said. "I don''t mind about that...What happened here?" I asked her as I looked around. There was a pool of blood by where Charlotte was standing. It is hard to believe that all this blood is hers. "...What happened here?" "A girl had cut the web of her hands between her forefinger and thumb," Charlotte exined calmly. "When I tried to get the carving knife from her hand, she cut me. It is not her fault. She was in a state of psychosis." The experience would be frightening for anyone. I just wonder how Charlotte can be so calm about it all. Is this her training as a noble to not show fear on her face or her true personality? No, Charlotte is my best friend. I know her best. She has always assessed things with a clear mind and is not one to freak out over a bit of blood. "I will take you home," I said as I locked arms with her. "We are just a pair of injured people with simr injuries now." "Haha! That is true," she said as she grabbed her school bag. The next day, I heard that several girls had dropped out of school with all different reasons. Some were to be married off for political reasons, a couple were said to have exposed to having inappropriate rtions with other students, and one person left because their family''s illegal transactions were exposed to the public. Even the girl who injured her hand was to return home to be married off to any man that would ept her scars that would stay there for life. Everyone knows that her choices would be limited to old men and her position would be reduced to a concubine or mistress. Charlotte''s injuries were thankfully not that deep. I cannot imagine giving my best friend to be the concubine or the wife of some elderly man. For my best friend, I will make sure to protect her properly too. Chapter 39: Unexpected Chapter 39: Unexpected I found myself in a tough spot while my opponent was overpowering me with brawn long after I had already faced seven other opponents in a row. "Come on, Young Duchess! You should be able to move better than that," my instructor said. My instructor Krona Gills was a new female instructor who arrived as a substitute for our old instructor who threw his back. This event did not ur in the first cycle, so I was a bit surprised at first but epted it quite easily from how my past instructor had injured his back. If everything went the same way, it would be all too easy... If not for the fact that she seemed to be power hungry after reaching to her position, she would not have felt the need to put me into ce and possibly force me to drop out of the course. If I knew it would be like this, I would have dropped out sooner, but my lineage makes things difficult. People would look down on me if I were to withdraw in the first few months. Everyone in ss was aware of the unfair treatment. No one wanted to involve themselves between a dispute of higher nobles. Even this woman is willing to deduct points from other students not willing to listen to her. My opponent struck my wrist of my dominant hand on purpose and caused me to drop my wooden replica sword. I hunched to the ground and began gasping loudly as I tried to gather my breath. "...Can you continue, Young Miss?" Could I continue? There was a possibility my wrist was sprained, and she was asking if I wanted to continue? "...I admit defeat," I said quietly as I gripped my wrist. "What was that?" she asked again. "I admit defeat, Instructor," I repeated. "Admitting defeat is equivalent to fiveps around the school." "...Yes," I said as I quickly got to my feet. I walked to the church located on school grounds in my tired state. As soon as I entered through the back door, I fell through forward onto my face. The next time I opened my eyes, I saw Gavin Lord by my side. "What is the diagnosis?" I asked him. "You are an idiot," Gavin said as he closed his first aid kit. "It''s incurable." I quickly sat upright to much of my own muscle pains. "...You, Sir, are not a follower of your own religion." "In training," he emphasized. "Not good use of my family''s donations obviously," I said as I moved my nket out of the way. He quickly turned his head as I went to get my clothes. "Have some tact..." I had used my family''s influences and partially of my own money in donations towards the Church Sects and established a respectable position for myself. I learned that it was better to bring more people to my side than think of them as enemies all of the time. "You are not the first person I have undressed in front of," I retorted. I came to realize the people around Kaya Ouchi were still just people. There was no reason preventing me from researching or getting to know them personally. Particrly, I found that Gavin and my personality actually worked well together. Whenever I had injuries I wanted to conceal, I woulde here. The best kept secrets are usually kept in a church setting. As I put on my skirt, I felt pain over my wrist of my right hand and dropped my skirt to the ground. "Ow..." "Are you alright?" he asked as he turned around slightly. He quickly snapped his head back. "Sorry about that..." "I am fine." I moved my sleeve up slightly. My wrist was bandaged up nicely. I quickly went back to pulling the skirt up and despite the amount of pain I was in. "...Why hide your injuries like this? Are you trying to hide your obvious bullying from your Prince?" Everyone seems to think that I have feelings for Prince Erik...Well, they are not wrong. "He is not the one I am hiding from..." I grabbed my things and made my way back to the dormitory. With my injuries, everywhere I washed sent a prickling pain all over my body. After washing my hair and my whole body, I redid my wristContent ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. bandages. Just the slightest touch was painful. I somehow managed to go through the rest of my sses with one hand. I had Knight sses on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. It was a Friday luckily. I would be able to recover a bit over the weekend, and then be subjected to torture at the beginning of the week. What a week... I thought that with my injuries, I would take a break from my daily exercise because of my injuries and go out into town by myself. I wore a white peasant top with a high waistedced up mid-length red floral skirt with some ck tights and knee-high brownced up boots and a red ribbon choker. I released my hair and let it settle in gentle curves and waves since it was too much trouble to do it up. When I looked in the mirror, I admit I looked a bit too casual. I decided on tying low maintenance twin tails and a jeweled silver feather barrette in my hair. I then went into town and quickly found several bookstores. The Royal Academy rested on its own ind in the sea off the coast of Arundel and a bit close to Nariel. Including dormitory facilities and the Academy itself, there was a small town for residents on the other side and the main worker forces on the Academy side. Almost everything is in walking distance. Most of the shops cater to students due to our higher poption. The number of bookstores is nice, but most of them sell the same things as the maind stuff which is not what I am particrly into. My memories seemed just like yesterday as I walked down a familiar uncrowded alleyway. Arge white cat with ck and orange spots wasying on its back and sunbathing on top of arge concrete column. I knew the fat cat as Chester from my first life. "Chester! You haven''t changed in a bit," I said as I scratched his belly. He epted my touch as if it were the most natural thing ever and gave me a low "Meow..." I soon said my goodbyes to Chester and continued my shopping trip. I wonder if it has been over a decade since I walked down this alley with Erik. When Erik and I married in the first cycle, the two of us did not have time toe back here together. My happiest memories were on this ind. Erik wanted to bring me back here as an anniversary gift to me. In the end, our trip never happened. An older looking antique bookshop had a dark brown stained wood board sign with a golden wing and cursive aureate writing of the name Icarus. Underneath the name, there was a smaller font with the word ''bookstore'' underneath the name. It was Erik''s and my favorite bookstore. The ambiance and decor were just perfect. There were rare finds only located at this location. When I came back to this ind, I knew that my first stop would be here. I was greeted by the owner. "Wee in," he said. "Thank you, Mister Hubert," I said. "Have we met before?" he asked with widened eyes. This is the first time we have met in this life... "I was rmended toe here by some lovelydies in the park," I exined. "I heard your name from them." He smiled. "I will tell you something good then. The best selection of books is in the second row of the ssics." I already knew that. Hubert Knolls is a handsome mid-forties widow standing around one hundred and ny centimeters. He has sleek ck hair that is short on all sides but the top. On his face, he wearsrge ck circle framed sses. His figure was that of a retired Knight with his bulging muscles. Even without having all of his shirts clearly being stretched out from his muscles, his gentle demeanor and his looks make him look like one of the most sensual men in the kingdom. He is just as I remembered, if not, only more. Most of the customers were women as expected. I quickly made my way to the middle sections with a store provided basket and started with lighter books. My wrist began hurting after picking up four books. "...How am I supposed to carry the rest?" "Excuse me," a male said. "Yes?" I answered him as I turned towards him. I was soon met to face Prince Erik in disguise with a pair of sses and a hat. Chapter 40: Prince in Disguise Chapter 40: Prince in Disguise P-P-Prince Erik?? "H-How may I help you?" I asked him. "There were some girls following me. I hope that you do not mind if I stand near you while I continue with my shopping," Prince Erik whispered to me. My heart thumped loudly from how ufortably close he was. "I understand..." The girls looking at Prince Erik from a distance quickly dispersed after seeing me. "Did you not want to continue your shopping?" Prince Erik asked. "I would..." My wrist is too painful... Probably noticing my wrist, he took my basket away from me. "Which books would you like?" he asked. I pointed to the books I wanted, and he helped get them for me no matter how high they were. I be quite shameless when ites to books. I suppose bing a Librarian once before does this to me... "Your picks are interesting. Are you not interested in the newly released romantic books?" "There is a kind of splendor to these books because of the vor the authors put in their writing. I often find myself gravitating towards them incidentally," I exined. For some reason, we went up to the cash register at the same time. "You have found many interesting reads," Hubert said with a wide smile. "They all have interesting plots," I responded. The pile in Prince Erik''s basket was even more impressive. "Do you have arge bag?" Prince Erik asked. "There is no reason to carry them all back with you. They can make deliveries from here to the Academy," I exined to him. "I see," Prince Erik said with a look of wonder. "The Young Lady is quite informed," Hubert noted. "...I was informed by twodies in the park," I lied. The lies just keep piling up... We left the store soon afterwards. "Then, good luck," I said towards Prince Erik as I tried to make my escape. "...Would you like some tea?" he asked quietly. Can anyone say no to a man who looks like he descended from Heaven? I wish I could... We had some tea and snacks at a nearby caf¨¦ with a seaside view. "This is all very lovely," Imented. Why am I having tea with this person? "I was hoping that you would say that," Prince Erik said. "Although, I think this is a bit much for just standing next to you while you finished your shopping," I said as I began sipping my tea. "You also helped me pick out some interesting books," Prince Erik said. "...Any normal person would have done the same thing," I said. "...I have ulterior motives. If I did not use that excuse to lure you here, it would be difficult to get even one conversation through to you," Prince Erik said. I flinched slightly. "Ulterior motives?" I asked him. "You are my fianc¨¦e, are you not?" Prince Erik asked. I felt like my lungs did a backflip upon themselves. I tried so desperately hard not to spit out my drink all over his beautiful face. My heart almost stopped for a moment because of how shocked I was. "...The cat is out of the bag then. To be more correct, I am your former fianc¨¦e," I said. We were engaged without ever conversing with each other since we were children. "I heard about your efforts in using the blue teardrop jewel to bargain your way out of our engagement with the King. That takes guts. There is probably no one more interesting than you," he said with a smile. "His Majesty had no reason to dismiss my wish..." "I always felt that you disliked me to the point where you would push me into your home''s manmade river, but never did I expect that you would go this far," Prince Erik said. "That time with the river...was an ident," I said as I ced my teacup back down. "The incident was a bit traumatic at first and caused me to forget some things, but I remember everything now. I know that it was all an ident and that you do not actually hate me. Not anyone Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. else, it was you that tried to save me. Your face of tion from saving me was unforgettable. From then on, I continued to think about you every day. When His Majesty informed me of the dissolution of my engagement, I vehemently tried to refuse it. That is why I still consider Lady Arielle as my fianc¨¦e." I clenched my fists over myp. Control your feelings, Arielle... "I do not understand why you are persistent towards this matter..." "...Did you throw out my flower yet?" Is he talking about the rose I received at the beginning of the year? I never had the heart to throw it out yet. It still sits by my window side in earnest and wilting gracefully. "I threw out such a thing a long time ago," I said coldly. He chuckled a bit softly. It has been so long since I heard Erik''sughter that my expressionless face wavered a bit. "Every year, the student council wees new students with white and yellow flowers. It is part of a long-standing tradition since the school''s founding," Prince Erik said. ...Not white or yellow but a rose? "The flower you handed me was a red rose?" I asked. "The meaning behind the red rose is ''romantic love''," he said as he shifted his gaze towards theke. My heart raced for a moment. "Pardon?" He turned his gaze towards me and stared at me with his beautiful emerald green eyes. "I personally chose a red rose to convey my feelings for you," Prince Erik said. The meaning behind a red rose was romantic love... I held my hand over my mouth. "...You hardly know of me," I said shakily. "You like all types of books, flowers, art, and have a gentle disposition. You are a wonderful youngdy if I say so myself," Prince Erik said. I see...he was just interested in my image. "...I have a lover," I suddenly blurted. "Is this lover someone I know?" he asked. Out of the men I know, I only know of a priest in training and my cousin. Both were out of the question... A colleague? "...My lover''s name is Garett Alvin," I announced. "I am in love with Garett Alvin!" I am so sorry, Garett... Prince Erik had a surprised facial expression on his face. It was not long after that someone came to retrieve him. I ran away as soon as they came to pick him up. Chapter 41: Top Student Chapter 41: Top Student I tried removing my bandages early in the morning. The swelling had gone down considerably from the I have to go back with this wrist? I must have masochistic tendencies... "d to see that you have joined us, Lady Arielle," Instructor Krona Gills said. "I am ready to learn what I can," I said. I went through the same drills yet again. This time, I used my left hand instead and found my way easily mowing through my opponents. Even though I won, I would be heavily criticized for not following proper stances or not using my dominant hand knowing full well that I was injured. I was soon faced with my seventh opponent in ss. Instructor Gills really wanted to break me at this point. My fifth opponent had hit my right shoulder. Only now, I am faced with the pain. It was bad timing since I was close to being done with half the ss. My exhaustion finally got to me and caused me to fall to one knee. "If you forfeit now, I will have to add the other half of ss," Instructor Gills said. This will never end until I die of exhaustion... I tried getting back up only to fall again. My opponent seemed to stop before hitting me on the head and retracted his wooden sword. "...What do you think you are doing?" Instructor Gills asked my opponent. "I am unable to continue..." Of all the students here, I least expected him to stand up for me... "Under what reasons?" she asked. "She has already fallen. It would be cruel to continue..." "Finish her. If not, you will never be a Knight. I have the power to decide whether or not you be a Knight. I believe I told you all that Lady Arielle is receiving a special education because of her background." That''s the reason why they were all sopliant then... "It''s fine!" I told him. "I want to continue." "That is the spirit!" Instructor Gills said. "You all want to be Knights. That is your dream. My dream is to be able to protect the people I love, so it''s fine," I whispered to him. "Do not go easy on her. I will know if you do." "I will be fine," I said with a nod. I found myself with some spare energy from that short break. Within a few minutes, I had fully regained my breath and brought my opponent down with one swing. I turned towards Instructor Gills. "I have defeated the best students in our grade level as well as our top student. That means that I have earned the right to choose my next opponent." It was a long-standing tradition by the school. The rules were mentioned in the student handbook for anyone that managed to beat the highest ten seats within their grade level were able to choose anyone within the school as their challenger. I beat far more than ten but whatever... "That''s right..." Instructor Gills said with a slightly irritated look on her face. "I would like to exercise my right to challenge Instructor Gills," I said. "Impertinent Little Girl!" she screamed at me. "It is one simple match between the only female Knight teacher and her only female student. Would it not be an exciting match for the uing sports festival?" I asked her. "Very well! We shall have our match within two weeks," she said as she stormed off. I fell to my knees afterwards and passed out. Later, I found myself under a familiar ceiling. I was in the church again. I do not remember anything about walking here. Did Randall bring me here? I sat up and tried searching through my memories. Just then, the top Knight student walked in with a bucket of warm water and a towel. "You are up?" he asked. "Did you bring me here?" I asked him. "Since I was on my way to the infirmary, I thought that I might as well take you with me. You kept on mentioning getting treatment here in your sleep, so I brought you here," he exined. "I feel worse knowing that I was carried by an injured person. I apologize for leaving you to take care of me. There is nothing more embarrassing than having an opponent take mercy on me." "That was not mercy..." "You had multiple chances to take advantage of my weaknesses. Even talking back at the instructor...Why would you help me Dolton Grass?" The top Knight student as well as the person who just assisted me and helped assassinate me in the first cycle is Dolton Grass. "Dolton Grass, why would you risk your career for me?" I asked him. This younger appearance of an orange haired fellow with red eyes was none other than Dolton himself. This second cycle was too divergent. I have met three out of the four people beside Kaya Ouchi before she even meets them. If that were not all, I met the crazed female teacher and began attending ss with Dolton Grass before when we never had ss together before. This affirms some things. One is that I am not the only one who retained their memories from the first cycle and that the other person is trying to change or influence my fate. "I would often see you training by yourself early in the morning everyday by the yellow daffodils when I am on my morning runs." This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . "...You saw that?" I thought it was a good spot to train without getting seen. I walked by there with Charlotte before and it seemed like no one would disturb me there... "No one works harder than you. I respect your efforts. However, I feared disappointment from my family and held back my feelings. I should be apologizing for not stepping in earlier..." "You and the rest of the ss were being threatened. I would have followed her orders too if I were you. I do not me anyone for my own stupidity," I told him sternly. "Why not report Instructor Gills for her excessive discipline?" "If I reported her, I would get cklisted as being unteachable and never be able to hold a sword again. No teacher would be willing to teach me out of fear that they may be reprimanded by a fussy female noble..." "Lady Arielle is a high Noble. Even without this¨C" "What I need is strength, not some title." "For what reason would you push yourself so far for?" "I have someone I want to protect. He saved the wretched me before multiple times. Not once have I ever returned half of what he has given me. Even if it is just a little bit, I want to be useful to him even if I will never catch his eye." "May I ask who this person is?" Dolton asked. "Crown Prince Erik Arundel..." "The Prince!" "...I am not worthy enough to be by his side. Just watching him from afar is enough for me. If I can protect him, I would willingly give my life for his happiness." Dolton gave a peaceful smile. "You really are admirable..." Why is he smiling so kindly at me? I told Dolton to leave after that, while I would get some rest before my afternoon sses. Dolton probably held the strongest feelings towards Kaya Ouchi in the first cycle and betrayed me for love, yet I cannot hate him now seeing as though he was a more decent person than I originally thought. I feel as though my memories condemned them more than it should have. I just do not understand how any one of them could possibly go along with Kaya Ouchi''s wretched n to kill me. Three out of the four, huh? The only one I have not met yet is Channing Wells. Chapter 42: Battle Chapter 42: Battle My injuries quickly healed within a few days. The bruises were slightly noticeable by then. Instructor Gills left our ss for self-studies until the sports festival. I assumed it was for training herself. At the same time, the special event where I would face off against Instructor Gills became hot news from posters of the bout being seen all over campus. "Arielle! You are facing Instructor Gills?" Charlotte asked as she badgered me early in the morning three days after I challenged Instructor Gills. "It just so happened." "Isn''t this a bit rash?" Charlotte said worriedly. "I will be fine." I will be fully recovered with two more days of rest. Afterwards, I will go back to intense training. "Still, it is a special event, right? I hope that you will let me help you with your attire and makeup." "It is not a ball, Charlotte. I going to battle." "A girl should still look her best at all times." The sports festival was suddenly under its way. I was exempted from doing any particr event for my ss for the main event. I was soon dressed in a silver breastte armor with my midriff showing, a long double slit maroon colored skirt with silver faulds on the sides, sabatons, greaves, poleyn, cuisse, and matching silver gauntlets on both arms. I felt awkward about my midriff and my thighs being shown, but they offered the most ess to movementpared to other armors that I was presented with. I tied my long hair high up and tied up the metal headpiece over my head. Before I headed into the arena, a long shadow was waiting for me at the end of the hall. "Are you here to stop me, Your Highness?" I asked him. He simply kept his arms folded and his back leaned against the wall and turned his head slightly towards me. "...I suppose that you do not need any words of encouragement?" he asked with a worried look on his Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. face. After his confession, he had left me alone for a while. Only now does he show up. I liked how he respected my space. That has not changed since our first lives. "It won''t be long," I answered with a smile as I walked past him. The arena was a five-foot-high stage with a diameter measurement of eighty-six meters across and fifty-four meters wide. I was the first to arrive onto the prepared stage before Instructor Gills. Loud cheering erupted from the stage when Instructor Gills appeared with her form fitted breast breastte and her even more revealing clothes. She licked her lips before she said, "This will be fun." The announcer blew their whistle. Instructor Gills suddenly took the first sh. I jumped back and missed by a hair. She came back with another sh from the other side. The second iing sh had scratched my breastte. I quickly jumped back fourrge steps. "That sword doesn''t have a blunt edge..." "Oh? You noticed?" "That is a clear vition of the rules," I said. "You won''t turn me in, won''t you?" Instructor Gills said. "...No." "I thought so!" She came at me again. This time she was more aggressively attacking me. Our continuous bout consisted of me constantly on the receiving end of her attacks. My blunt sword was slowly bing chipped from my rough handling. "Why do you detest me Instructor Gills? Ever since I walked in, you have always gone out of your way to heavily discipline me." "I hate pretty girls like you born with status and people that love you. You yourself do not realize how privileged you are and that incurs the hate of every female around you. It''s only natural that some of us want to see your destruction!" I suppose this is why Kaya Ouchi and so many people targeted me. Honestly, it could have been anyone. It did not have to be Instructor Gills, Randall, or even Kaya Ouchi. My whole existence was a liability. I am a burden...I was a burden to Erik. That is why I cannot forgive myself for being a burden to him a second time. I finally went on the attack. "I will not admit defeat to you or to anyone else! This is my life. For that person, I will be the strongest!" My sword was on its breaking point. I sessfully knocked Instructor Gills off her feet and her sword out of her hands. The sword flew high into the air and fell near the edge of the stage and pierced halfway down. I pointed the tip of my sword towards her neck. I won. "Congrattions on winning, Lady Arielle," Prince Erik said as he pped his hands and walked towards me. "We have a victor! Arielle Ira Maddox!" I raised my chipped sword in the air above my head in a triumphant manner. A rain of praises and shouts of my name erupted throughout the stadium. Just then, my sword had given out and broke in half. "Ah..." The crowd quickly became silent. Prince Erik quietly walked over to Instructor Gills'' sword and pulled it out from the stage. He held the de up for everyone to see. "This is not a dull de as you can all see! For what should have been a fun event was actually a show of Instructor Gills tormenting her student knowing full well she was given a dull de. Have you no shame, Instructor?" Prince Erik said coldly. "No, Your Highness..." Instructor Gills pleaded. "I will inform the Academy of your immediate dismissal," Prince Erik said. Instructor Gills quickly made her exit. The sight of her leaving like this was rather pitiful. I wanted her to lose her pride as my instructor by defeating her in arge crowd. She would be transferred to a different ss and learn her lesson about not mistreating another student again. All this incident would be teaching her is shame and the loss of her career. It was already difficult enough to earn a teaching degree as a woman and get hired in the capital. She will have to change her name and move far from the castle now. There was too much evidence against her. The most obvious one was the state of my sword. The second was how deep the Instructor''s sword stabbed through the stage. The third piece of evidence were the scratches on my armor. "I''m sorry," Prince Erik mouthed to me. I tossed my broken sword aside and left the stage. This was probably the most unwanted victory I ever received... The next day, I met Instructor Gills on her way to depart in her horse drawn carriage. "Are you here tough at me?" she asked. I handed her a letter. "It is a letter of rmendation to a ce a bit far from here. The pay is a bit lower, but they will not mind background checks," I said. "I do not need your pity!" she screeched at me. "It is not pity. They are in desperate need for teachers there," I said. "Why would you give me this chance after everything?" she asked. "I don''t think that you are a bad teacher, Instructor Gills...Out of every teacher I had ever had, I probably learned the most from you. You were the only one to correct my posture, fix the way I held a sword, and taught me about endurance and being strong. Those were all things all of my other instructors feared to do because of my background. The next time that you will be teaching, surely there will be many students in favor of you as well." "I hated that you looked naive...A young girl studying under Knights. Someone weak looking like you would just get destroyed under men," she said as she grabbed my face. "Someone wanted me gone as much as they wanted to hurt you. They switched my sword before the match and threatened to reveal my secrets to the world if I did not continue. Remember that not everyone is as sweet and forgiving as you are..." "Instructor Gills, good luck on your next ventures," I answered her with a smile. I received a kiss upon my forehead for some reason. "Weak people like us only have the option of putting a brave face." Instructor Gills made her exit and waved me goodbye. I do not think that Instructor Gills was the one who prepared the sword. There just was no reason for her to risk her career to tell me that kind of lesson. She came to tell me that there are other people wanting to see my downfall. Most likely, someone switched her sword out for a real one and made it so that she would lose to me... Chapter 43: Fake Lovers Chapter 43: Fake Lovers "I wonder where the next book is for this series..." I had some time, so I went to Icarus for a change. "The next issue does not appear until the beginning of the next month," someone answered for me. I looked to me left and saw a pair of beautiful emerald green eyes slightly being hidden under a pair of lenses. The man''s long beautiful ck hair softly fell down his shoulder as he bent closer to me and moved his face beside me. "Garett?" I gasped. "It''s been a while, Arielle," he said with a smile. We had tea at a nearby tea shop. "You are a difficult person to get a hold of." "Kind of..." He casually drank his tea. I was not really mad at him before, but his nonchnt attitude is starting to get on my nerves. "Garett..." "You have be beautiful," he said. My heart thudded so loudly that I forgot everything I had wanted to say to him. "Pardon?" "It seems thatpliments do ease women''s anger." I tried stepping on his foot only to be swiftly avoided. "I was not that angry before...Now, I am," I said. "My mistake then," he said as he added a sugar cube to my drink without asking me. I wanted more sugar anyways... He is exactly the same as the older version of the first cycle, a bit overbearing and arrogant. I almost miss his younger days when he would blush at almost everything. "Prince Erik seems to have confessed his feelings for me," I said as I mixed the sugar cube in my drink. "...He did? Congrattions," he said as he sipped his drink. "I said that I was in love with you..." He spurted his drink out to his left. It was the first time I had ever seen him act so unrefined before. "Cough! Cough!" "Are you alright?" I asked as I handed him a napkin. "Come again?" "I apologize for using you...I used you as an excuse to get out of Prince Erik''s confession as wrong as it sounds," I said. "...Aren''t you in love with him?" he asked. I was in love with the memories of my first life with him... "...It just so happens that I do not see a future between the two of us." "You were engaged to him at one point. I find it a bit strange for you to not see a future with him." "H-How do you know about that?" I asked nervously. "...I have my connections," he answered vaguely. Right... This person is Prince Erik''s cousin. "Our engagement was something decided upon by our parents. Surely, Prince Erik would act kind to me and force himself to love me out of obligation. When I saw that he had the same feelings for me despite everything makes me believe that some people were meant to fall in love with each other. However, that love is a burden...I do not intend to be a liability to him." "...A liability?" "I do not want to be the one who holds him back." "I don''t think that Prince is that weak..." "That may be so, but I am," I said with an awkward smile. "No matter how strong I make myself or how Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. much I pretty myself up, I do not have confidence or willpower to stay by that person''s side...That is why I can only watch him from afar with these troublesome feelings." My eyes began tearing up. I was sad that I lost Erik in my first life because of my weaknesses. He had protected me several times because I was ipetent. I was sad that I was not able to respond my true feelings to him. I was even more sad that I had to lie to him in order to cover everything up... "Arielle..." I do not have the confidence to be Queen again or stand by his side. I already failed once before... The thought of failing to save Erik again was scary...The thought of it being my fault a second time was even scarier. "Surely, he will change his mind if he thinks my heart belongs to someone else." "...Arielle, let''s be a couple," Garett suggested. "A couple?" "...His Highness may not give up if it is one sided love. We can be pretend lovers if you do not mind...just holding hands or eating together, or do you dislike the thought of being with me? I already told him that we were lovers, so this is convenient. "...Won''t it be difficult for you to find a lover?" I asked him worriedly. "You don''t have to worry about that. I am not interested in anyone at the moment." When he said that, I felt a bit relieved and troubled at the same time. ...It is a false rtionship, so why do I feel excited about it? The next day, Garett and I sat across from each other with an open book in the library. "This is all kinds of wrong!" Charlotte said. "What is?" I asked her as I ced a bookmark in my book. "We are finally all together again, and it seems that you two have finally be a couple," Charlotte answered. "A false couple," Garett corrected. I told Charlotte about Prince Erik''s confession and about my false rtionship with Garett yesterday. She nodded in eptance, but also called me a big idiot, so I am unsure if she really epts this rash decision of mine. "The strange thing about you two is that all you two do is read. Nothing has changed. Well, I expected this..." Charlotte said as she twiddled with her fingers. "Couples are to spend time with each other in person and write letters to each other once in a while, right?" Garett said. "We are already spending time together by reading in front of each other by ourselves." Charlotte presses a finger in Garett''s face. "Wrong!" she said strongly. Garett put up a troubled face. "I hardly think that we could possibly act like a couple in front of you, Charlotte," I said. Charlotte moved out of Garett''s personal space and grabbed his book. Garett failed multiple times to take his book back from her. "There is no couple that just casually reads in front of each other. There is no interaction! Nothing emotional! Nothing physical!" Charlotte said. When I was with Erik, we would read in our respective spots as well. Everything else was intense physical acts that I cannot possibly do with Garett... "Even if you say that, we are a false couple. I do not think Garett would befortable with doing anything too physical or emotional," I reasoned. "I am a male, so it is not as important for me. As a girl, don''t first experiences carry special meanings to you?" Garett asked me. First experiences? I had already experienced almost everything with Erik in my first life. I suppose that it has all been negated by this second life. "Humph! This is the modern age! One or two kisses and hugs does not equate marriage," Charlotte said. "Have you experienced those things yet, Charlotte?" I asked her. Her face soon med up. "I...I haven''t, but I have read many romance novels," Charlotte said as she puffed up her chest. "What do you suggest we do?" Garett said as he grabbed his book from Charlotte''s hands. Ah, he took advantage of her weakened state and gained the upper hand... "One date," Charlotte said as she held up one finger. "Date?" Garett and I said in unison. "No bookstores...No reading...I want the two of you to dress up semi-casual and go into town to have fun," Charlotte ordered. "There must be some form of shopping, walking, and eating. Most importantly, there will be physical contact!" The hurdle is too high! "How much is physical contact?" Garett asked. "I will write a n for you two to be super lovey dove-y," Charlotte said as she made a heart with her hands. I have never felt more nervous in my life before. Chapter 44: Growing Affections Chapter 44: Growing Affections Charlotte''s date n was set for the very next day. It was incredibly fast for her to make up aplex n within a day. She must have spent all nighting up with the n. Upon Charlotte''s coordination, I was made to lightly curl my hair and wear a braided headband style withrge white ribbons. My clothes consisted of a buttoned up white one-piece dress that rose above my knees and had a ribbon necktie with a simr tie around my waist. I also wore maroon-colored tights with a white diamond patterned and some white T-styled heels and a white cape with a white fluffy fur pan cor. I do not deny that it was a cute look. I just would have expected her to help me coordinate a more mature look. Even the skirt barely passes by my bottom. I thought it was a bit short before I wore it. With my figure as it is now, the skirt is seeming even shorter than before. "Does this even count as semi-casual?" Garett asked. I had arrived fifteen minutes before our meeting time in the town square. Garett arrived ten minutes early as well. He was wearing a more casual green suit and a ck string necktie and had his long hair tied and swept over one shoulder. The ends of his ponytail and bangs were slight curled, making his face more visible. I could not help but be slightly impressed by how more beautiful this man was with a few adjustments. "I do not think this really counts as casual...Charlotte chose it for me, so I thought that I might as well wear it." "All of your clothes are rather fancy..." "My clothes are mostly chosen by other people like my mother, Charlotte, and Maura. Most of the clothes I choose allow more freedom of movement and are not really fashionable in a sense." "...That exins the diversity." "I think there was something we had to do upon meeting each other," I said as I took out the guide that Charlotte wrote up. Charlotte''s Tasks! 1. Compliment her outfit! "...You look fancy," Garett said awkwardly. He already said that... "Thank you. You look well-dressed today too," I said. "What is the next task?" Garett asked as he leaned in towards my shoulder. I was a bit surprised by the closeness of Garett. He had gotten more than a head taller than me, so now he has to bend to look over my shoulders. Charlotte''s Tasks! 2. Hold hands at all times! I held out my right hand. "Shall we?" I asked Garett. He took my hand with a slightly disgruntled face. "Normally, the male is supposed to lead," he said as heced his fingers with mine. I slightly became frazzled from the immediate intimate style of hand holding he had chosen. His hand isrge as well...I had only held hands before with Erik. I cannot help my heart from racing a bit even though I was the one to initiate it. "...I think you are doing a fine job at leading," I whispered softly enough for him not to hear me. Our destination was to Bunnynd the World of Fluffiness. Using a boat, we traveled to the maind in search of an amusement park. "Dear Lord..." Garett said upon the entrance adorned with flowers and the numerous people wearing bunny ears and tails. He seemed really shocked by how many things were bunny themed. "They have created an amusement park surrounding animals that are able to feed on each other''s defecate for nutrients." "Please do not say that in front of the children...This ce is still and of dreams for them," I pleaded. "I just do not understand why it is that people like such small creatures." "I guess it is because they are cute?" "Cute? That is such a vague word woman often use to describe things that they like but are unable to find the right words to exin why." "I use the word when I find a living being acting in a way that I find endearing, so I must seem superficial to you as well." A young woman wearing a maid uniform with an apron and bunny ears approached us. "Are you two seeking entrance?" the worker asked us. "If so, everyone must wear these things upon entry." In her basket, she had a set of bunny ears and tail in each individual bag. The hurdle is too high, Charlotte! "Damn that woman!" Garett screeched very angrily. The worker ce white bunny ears onto my head and added a cottontail to my clothes. It went perfectly with my clothes. A coincidence? No, Charlotte knows everything... Garett epted ck bunny ears and a matching tail on his long green suit jacket. I was a bit jealous from how the color matching was spot on and molded into his natural hair. He looked rather good. I felt saying it out loud would anger him, so I held my tongue. "A requirement, my a..." "I like it," I said as I adjusted my headband a little. "I think it is unique and interesting. Does it look good on me?" "It certainly suits you more than others," Garett said with slightly reddened cheeks. He is fulfilling his tasks properly. "Thank you," I replied to him with a smile. Our next task was to find an eatery. I ordered some bunny shaped pancakes, while Garett ordered a bunny shaped omelet over red rice. "Everything is bunny themed...With us dressed as the same creatures, are they promoting cannibalism?" Garett asked as he ate through his food. "If we are lovers dressed up like bunnies, what are we promoting?" I asked. Garett stopped functioning for a few minutes. His face soon went pale. "...This is a scary park," he said. I was hoping that he would loosen up from a joke...I soon realized that I do not have it in me to be a humorous person. Despite his mixed feelings, Garett seemed to like his food. His expression went as a mix between good and bad intermittently. It was quite a sight to see. I almost wish there was a way to document the whole experience. Charlotte''s Tasks! 3. Share a dessert! "Share a dessert?" I said questionably in Garett''s direction. "ording to that woman''s task list, we have to eat some dessert together." "Won''t we seem penurious if we share a slice of cake?" I asked. A waitress brought over arge parfait with at least twenty scoops of cream of six different colors and Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. whip cream on top. "...I don''t think we are supposed to share cake," Garett concluded. "This is our specialplimentary parfait for couples! If you finish the parfait within the allotted time period, we will award you with these matching charms," the waitress said as she held up a pair of stuffed teddy bears. They were both handheld sizes and consisted of brown and almond colors with each having green colored ribbons around their necks and having beautiful small ck buttoned eyes. I stared at them intensely because of how well made they were for their tiny size. "Let''s do this," Garett said as he handed me a spoon. He seems more gung-ho about this than I thought. Maybe he really likes parfaits! "Yes!" I answered him. Even though it seemed like Garett did not have a sweet tooth, he was the most enthusiastic about finishing the parfait. We were a few more bites away before Garett gave up. "The sweetness is starting to hurt me," Garett said as he dropped his head a few inches. "I can take over for you," I said. He soon lifted his head. "This will be a group effort," he said as he took up his spoon and held it up towards me. He is feeding me! Even Erik has not done that with me yet... I took up his help anyways and managed to finish the parfait with ease. "I am so happy that we were able to get these," I said as I held up the small charms. Garett smiled in my direction. "It was worth the effort," he said as he walked in front of me. ...Could it be that he tried so hard for me? I grabbed his hand. "This was a group effort. I would like for you to have one," I said as I ced the almond-colored bear in his hand. Garett and I continued on with our list of tasks from Charlotte. Charlotte''s Tasks! 4. Pet the animals! Garett and I found ourselves in the petting corner where we got to y with the bunnies. Almost all the bunnies seemed attracted to Garett''s presence from how they piled up on him. "Aren''t you popr?" I asked him with a smile. "...I am not able toprehend why people are able to enjoy the presence of feces eating rodent like creatures," Garett said as he held one bunny up towards his face. His eyebrows scrunched up as he gave an intense stare to the poor creature. "...Please do not say that in front of the children..." Despite his cold words, he pets all of the bunnies that came near him gently and equally. asionally, I would see him sneak a smile here and there. He does not truly detest them... "They are not bad..." Is he in awe about them? "I see." "Maybe we can train them enough to where they can do deliveries." "Please don''t...They would be open to too many predators in the wild." Charlotte''s Tasks! 5. Go shopping! "What would you like to shop for?" Garett asked me. "I would like another book," I answered honestly. "We came here to avoid that..." "That''s right," I said, remembering our true purpose. "I would find it a bit strange if there was a book in this ce." Garett pointed towards a stationary store. "That is probably the next best thing," he said. When we entered, we found that everything inside was bunny themed. Garett tried to keep his cool, but I could tell his face was getting increasingly paler by the moment. "You don''t have to force yourself..." "I am fine. I am just having a bit of difficulty asserting myself as a man in this situation," Garett said. "Shall we quickly buy something and leave them?" "You made an effort toe here. It would be a waste not to take your time just to appease me." "Thank you," I told him. I ended up buying a simple red dotted hair tie that had a bow that stood up like bunny ears. Charlotte''s Question! 6. Did you guys have fun? "It was alright," Garett answered. "Likewise." "I believe that this concludes all of our tasks for today," Garett said as we got back on the boat. "It was fun. I hear that the amusement park has multiple themes throughout the year. One day, it may even be capybara themed." "Where do they distribute their old products then?" "They distribute them through chain stores or keep them in storage the next time they want to use that theme and repeat." "I see...They can maximize profits that way," he said as he pondered deeply about it. He soon leaned over the railing and watched as we made our distance from the maind. I lightly reached towards his bunny ears and pinched them. He suddenly turned towards me with a surprised expression. Our faces were suddenly in close proximity of each other. "...Ah, I''m sorry." Why did I apologize? He suddenly touched his head and realized he was still wearing the bunny ears long after we had left the amusement park. He plucked it from his head and began hanging his head low over the railing in self-contempt. "I wore this out..." "I don''t think anyone minded. There were many other people still wearing it long after leaving as well." "Stay still," Garett ordered. Both my wrists were suddenly taken by Garett. I felt his everrge body slowly entrap me into his arms. My heart was ever so racing when I had an inkling his head was just hanging over mine. I closed my eyes as if I were bracing for something. What is he doing? He soon backed away from me with my bunny ears trapped between his teeth. I quickly touched my head and saw that my headband was missing. He had taken my headband off with his teeth! "...What was that for?" I asked as I defensively protected my head for some reason. Garett took out a paper from his pocket and showed it to me. Charlotte''s Secret Mission! 7. Remove an article of clothing from Arielle with your teeth! Chapter 45: Fanning Flames Chapter 45: Fanning mes Garett and I went back to reading our separate books across from each other. "...Nothing changed," Charlotte said. "This style suits us well," I told Charlotte. "I expected as much from you two," Charlotte said with a sigh. "No progress as always." Progress? I suppose Charlotte did help us grow a bit closer. I suddenly locked eyes with Garett and quickly shifted my gaze afterwards. If it were not for the stupid stunt she pulled yesterday, I would be able to look Garett in the eye and not hide behind my book all the time. Seriously, why would Garett even pull my headband off with his teeth? It almost looked as if he was eating me up... I tried to get rid of the lewd thought by fanning myself. Therge tower clock rang. I quickly stood up. "I need to leave. I am on the Beautification Committee," I told Charlotte and Garett as I quickly left. My homeroom teacher had asked me to join the Beautification Committee from seeing my scores in the past few tests.Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. I identally screwed up and took the tests a little too seriously and ended up with getting the best scores within my grade level and the attention of my teachers who made me join themittee. The meeting would be held in a conference room near the student council office. To my surprise, Prince Erik was there along with ten other students. There were only three seats left avable. One was the seat furthest away from Prince Erik, one was across from him, and there was one seat right next to him. I tried picking the seat furthest away. "Each seat is assigned with name tags. Your seat is right here," Prince Erik said as he pointed to the seat beside him. Next to him? I plopped myself onto the chair beside him. "Thank you for informing me, Your Highness." "I was the one who arranged this seating order," Prince Erik whispered. My first life husband is courting me...Now, I understand why old mes are dangerous. I quickly turned my attention to the documents before me. A young girl and the surprising guest Channing Wells came in shortly afterwards. That striking light green hair was unmistakable... I suppose the Last Boss will arrive when I do something outrageous like using the restroom during ss hours. "Since everyone has arrived, shall we begin?" The discussion was mainly directed between four students including Channing Wells. Prince Erik would intervene once in a while when budget was mentioned and quickly give a short and bitter refusal. The free flow of ideas was slowlying to a standstill. I decided to put my input in a way that would be eptable for Prince Erik''s pickiness. He readily epted my ideas. I was used to Erik''s pickiness, so it would only be natural that I understood his thoughts regarding this at least. If we do not decide about what to do with the leftover budget, it would simply go towards the Homing Dance. "With the leftover budget, we should use it to decorate the bridge," Channing Wells suggested. Decorating the bridge would surely invite tourism and help with the local economy. "Shall we go with that then?" Prince Erik suggested. It is a sound idea, but there other more important uses for the budget... The budget could cover easily and the rest cover repairing the bridge. Drainage is a serious concern in many areas of the town with a severe shortage of funds to fight against it. It was the first idea that Channing Wells was able to get immediate approval from Prince Erik. I would feel bad about speaking out right now. "Do you have anything to add, Arielle?" Prince Erik asked me with a smile. "If not, the remaining budget will go towards the uing dance." This person acts so cold towards everyone else but gives me a smile like this. People will be thinking that I received special treatment from him at this rate. How should I tread on this lightly? "I think that decorating the bridge is a wonderful idea. Is there a way that we can implement redesigning the bridge in the repairs? It has been already long past due for repairs. The roads are uneven and make carriage rides difficult for traveling parties...Also, I think we should direct some of the money towards the drainage issues in the local''s area where there have been the mostints," I said as I drew circles on the maps we were provided. "...Oh, you have a very good eye, Arielle," Prince Erik said. Channing Wells suddenly got out of his seat and mmed his hands on the table as he stood up. "I cannot agree with your idea, Lady Arielle," Channing Wells said. The meeting kept on going back and forth like that as if Channing Wells had something against me... Since we could not get anywhere, the meeting ended just like that. I went to the fishing docks for an early walk the next day. "Lady Arielle!" a man with the appearance of a seaweed monster called to me. "Bero!" I eximed as I quickly went to him. Three people along with myself started to peel off the seaweed from a local fisherman who acts much like a leader named Bero. I became acquainted with the people of the ind quite easily when I would be often seen wandering around by myself. Someone noted that I looked exactly like my mother. Apparently, my mother was quite popr here and was the one to help build all of the houses in the small fishing town. My mother was quite the wilddy from what I have heard. There were rumors that she took on a bet to live in the forest for a week that eventually turned into a month and came back with a wild boar on her back. The rumors are quiet nowadays because hardly anyone believes such a dainty looking beauty could do such a thing like that. Iter confirmed the rumors with the townspeople in which they were indeed very true... No wonder my parents were lenient towards my practice of a sword and independence... From interacting with the people, I learned that their trade was not doing so well in certain areas of the main city. That is how I became aware of the drainage issues and the slowly developing slums in those areas. If only the Academy would share a bit of its sess towards the towns... "Seaweed goes nicely on white rice!" Bero, a fun man towering around a hundred and ny centimeters said. "I am d that the rice fields areing nicely," I told him as I removed thest piece. For someone who is in his fifties, he is sure lively. "It is all because of you." I found the crop was not gaining poprity because people did not know how to eat it and only fed it to chickens before. I am d that the people here take my suggestions seriously. "I did not do much...If there is any sess, I attribute it all to you," I told him. "How can I help My Lady?" Bero asked. He was a close retired Knight of my mother who I had only met once as a child. To think he settled here... "I would like to discuss something privately..." We shared some coconut water together in his hut as I told him my worries. "The other day, you caught a snake with your bare hands while you were helping us attend to the rice fields," Bero reminisced. "What does that have to do with anything?" "For a young girl like you who willingly steps into danger, a few setbacks won''t hold you back for long. It won''t be easy to change those pesky Nobles, but if it''s you...I have faith that you will be alright," Bero said with a big smile. "Talking with those people is so difficult..." "Just be the most pompous person in the room." "Pompous?" "You are a noblewoman, but you do not act like one. There are times where you need to toughen up and conform once in a while to get what you want done. No one else can do it for you. Only you can do it, right?" "Yes...I will try my best." "The people of this ind are counting on you, Little Noble," Bero said as he patted my head lightly. "You will be fine because you are Lady Amalie''s daughter, right? No, you will be fine because you are Arielle..." I gave him a wide smile. "Tell me about any new information you hear," I asked him as I got up. I walked around the town a bit and went off road to the forest. Behind the thicket of trees was not a forest, but arge housing unit with the Academy''s insignia. All I could think about was that there was the golden opportunity that I was waiting for... For the next meeting, I decided toe in fifteen minutes early since I was almosttest time. The first people to arrive were Prince Erik and a few other men that did not speak much from yesterday. They were all sitting in different seats, almost as if they were avoiding Prince Erik himself. From the look of their faces, something about Prince Erik''s obviously bad mood caused an overwhelming sullen room. His aura seemed a bit different today. He was still as handsome as ever, but his posture seemed straight as a pin and his gaze was sharp like a lion. Chapter 46: Conference Chapter 46: Conference "May I ask if there are assigned seats today?" I asked someone sitting near the door. "Assigned seats in a conference room? There is nothing like that here," Prince Erik answered crisply. ...Weren''t you the one who made assigned seats the first day? I found his mood swing a bit odd but decided not to pry any further. It seemed like bad manners to ask. A girl hade up from behind me and began walking towards the seat I had sat at the other day. "I suppose that His Highness will not mind if I sit by your side today," she said in a high-pitched voice. "Your perfume is too much," Prince Erik replied. "It is annoying, so move to a seat over there," Prince Erik pointed towards a seat more than four seats away. He must be in a really foul mood to outright reject her like that. "But! Your High¨C" "If this is a game to you, then leave," Prince Erik said crisply. The girl moved to the seat. It seemed that she would almost into tears. I almost pity her... Prince Erik has been kind to me, so I almost forgot about this side of him. I had forgotten that he could be mean when he wanted to. "Are you not going to sit, Lady Arielle?" Prince Erik asked me in a less sharp tone. Lady Arielle? "I apologize for nking out," I said as I quickly looked around for a seat. "...Just sit here," Prince Erik said as he pointed to the seat right next that he rejected to the girl earlier. Seeing as though he asked me himself, I had to take the seat anyways. The saddened girl had begun to look at me with contempt. How ufortable... "Thank you for your benevolence, Your Highness," I told him before I sat down. Again, I am sitting close to him... I wonder why he seemed different today. Was it that we were taking too long or our ideas were not good enough for his tastes? "I have gone over the budget with the people on bridge maintenance with the builders and havee up with a design," he said as he handed out a few sheets of architecture design. "You may all point any ws that you may have against the design." Upon closer inspection, I noticed some problematic areas that could be detrimental to the design and circled the areas and ced some notes by them on how to improve them. Everyone else nodded in agreement that there was nothing to change. Seeing the group act like that, made me hide my paper away slightly. I can always present my paper after everyone leaves... "The ongoing issue fromst week then...We have leftover budget from fixing up the bridge. Seeing as though I was able to get building material at a much lower cost, it is even higher," Prince Erik said as he straightened the pile of papers on his desk. The girl from earlier rose her hand. "I believe that we should put the money towards the uing dance," she suggested. She seemed proud of her suggestion from how she puffed up her chest. Prince Erik red at her. "The budget for the dance already exceeds what we originally nned for due to the expensive orders of imported delicacies that were approved without my knowledge. There is no way that I am putting more money towards the uing dance." The other day, he would only give one worded rejections or short rebuttals. His words today are like a de. A girl with straight long light brown hair, light green eyes, and arge pink flower ornament in her hair raised her hand. She seemed calm and refined in her movements. She was the only one absent the other day, so it was my first time hearing her speak. However, she feels familiar... "I believe that we should add more light fixtures around the towns for as crime deterrents," she said. Areas that had better lighting reportedly had lower crime rates. As for if they were rted, no one could This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . really make sure... I was surprised that someone else shared my ideas of public safety. "That is an excellent idea, Lady Elsie, but that would go under a different budget like public safety." Elsie! A rtive of Senior Glen Elsie? She smiled in my direction. My heart thumped for a moment. The n produces beautiful people as well. I held my face for a moment to calm down. "What should we do with the leftover budget?" Prince Erik asked. "Any ideas?" The ideas that were presented suited only the benefit of other nobles. Lady Elsie decided to take a break with some tea. asionally, she would side with Prince Erik''s decision and add on her own thoughts. What an amazing youngdy...She could have the capacity to be a Queen herself. When I thought that, my heart began to hurt. I am fine as long as the person he marries is anyone but Kaya Ouchi... "Nothing..." As expected, most of the ideas were ced to benefit the nobles. The student council held the same power as government officials of this ind. Unfortunately, nobles are often closed minded towards matters that are outside of their expertise which include dancing and living in luxury... "We should use the money to push the poor people out of their homes," Channing Wells suggested. "Lady Arielle is such amoner pleaser...It would be difficult to continue looking over those people as long as they continue living there, right? Give them a bit of money and they will happily go away." Again, he is putting out such an oundish idea... Even indirectly insulting me... Prince Erik seemed as if he were about to burst with anger. I thought it would not be good for his image, so I quickly stood up. "...We should take thend for ourselves. I agree with Sir Wells that those residents living in those areas should move out," I said. "That is quite different from what you said earlier," Channing Wells noted. "The Academy bought up somend and built up argeplex for students that want to live off campus and closer to town. It has been dested since the new dorm wing was recently built on campus. Theplex would be able to hold up all of these residents and moreover handle other renovations that include building more wings if necessary," I exined. "The inders would be more willing to move out if we offer them something of that value in return for theirnd." The ind had a lot ofnd at our disposal. In other words, this ind is and of opportunity. "How can you make sure that the residents will move there?" Prince Erik asked me. "Bending a bit of the truth...Thend will be deemed unlivable and that the ground would be giving out some time soon due to the recent rainy seasons," I suggested. "That is where our generous Crown Prince will be willing to offer residency at no cost to them or be willing to buy them out for lower than the market value." "Spare the ttery...Do you have a n for what you want to do there?" Prince Erik asked me. "Widening the roads would make it easier to essrger carriages and better walkways. In any case, those homes will have to be torn down as they are unlivable. When the drainage system is improved on, we can try to build more amenities or parks based mostly around sightseeing and enhancing the beauty of thend," I said as I highlighted the areas that would be the best for sightseeing. "We can hire architecture specialists for designs and create jobs for those in favor of hardbor and pay them reasonably for their work. It would be best to move the residents out as soon as possible before the rain season starts and makes things difficult for construction and reconstruction of the drainage system." When I looked back the rest of them, my audience had grown silent. Did I make a mistake? This goes a bit beyond just beautification now. This is stepping into government intervention and affairs... "This is the kind of n that would benefit us the most...I am impressed," Prince Erik said. "What you are asking is impressive, but from where should we get the funding?" We had a board for writing, but really did not use it much. I picked up pink chalk and began writing some numbers. "The budget fornd development and repairs is set for this much...As you can see, there have been dips into the budget in the recent years towards excessive food and clubs that obviously do not need that much money. However, the most insensible use of the budget is towards this ce called the Diamond Room...It is not a sports club or a club of the arts. As for what it is, I am not really sure about what it is, but it has gotten approval through your Treasurer for a budget increase for some reason." Even Prince Erik did not seem aware of what the room was. "Exin, Treasurer Han Mayes," Prince Erik said as he sent a re towards a male with sses and a stick like figure. "The Diamond Room is a special club room for higher nobles. The room offers special treats from other Treasurer Han Meyes said as he readjusted his sses. "Ho? For what purpose is this club for? Looking down on other nobles?" Prince Erik asked in a domineering voice. Many of us were beginning to feel the pressure of his tone. "That is not it at all..." "The club is not based on sports, arts, and even socialization is minimal...Give me one legitimate reason as to why I should not destroy the club as of right now," Prince Erik said. He is too frightened to speak... "May I make a suggestion?" I asked Prince Erik. "Speak," he ordered. "I think it would be fine to remove all of the budget from the club seeing as though they offer nothing to the school other than exclusion..." I said. "I agree," Prince Erik said. "I do not think that we should get rid of it entirely since it has been a long-established club. Closing it without a major reason may anger the students. We can make profit by making it an exclusive society with a certain number of students, make the members pay a hefty fee to maintain membership, and use the money towards governmental fees." Prince Erik finally gave a small smile. His smile was devilishly charming today. Everyone was scared of him just a moment ago, but now we were in awe of his smile. "Nobles do love anything that is exclusive," Prince Erik said. "I will keep the club as is then. You can thank Lady Arielle for that, Treasurer Han Mayes." "Thank you very much, Lady Arielle," Treasurer Han Mayes said as he quickly bowed his head in my direction. "You do not need to attend the club anymore, Treasurer Han Mayes," Prince Erik said. "Why? Your Highness!" "A club for higher nobles...Why should someone of a baron ss be supervisor or even a club member of such an organization?" Prince Erik asked with a very cold re in his eyes. Treasurer Han Mayes was quickly silenced from speaking any further. I felt a bit worried about whether this would progress into something bad. I felt like I caught Prince Erik''s gaze for a moment before he turned away from me. "Let''s end things here...I will gather some people to discuss about buying up thend and renovations. The people here no longer have to attend the next meeting," Prince Erik said as he stood up. Some people abruptly stood up. "Your Highness, please borate what you mean by that?" Channing Wells asked. "What I mean? I mean exactly what I said earlier. I will appoint new people to office. Some will stay and others will leave," Prince Erik said as he gathered his things and walked towards the exit. Treasurer Han Mayes stood in Prince Erik''s path. "I am one of the people to stay, right? Your Highness?" Treasurer Han Mayes asked. "...Do you really think that you are vital enough that I would let myself be disgraced for someone like you?" Prince Erik asked. His overwhelming presence and gaze made Treasurer Han Mayes fall to his knees. Prince Erik loomed over his figure and grabbed him by the cor. "You undermined my authority and ced yourself before a pedestal in order to ensure that you were able to make a ce for yourself among higher nobles. If that is not what I call trying to usurp me, then I do not know what is...There are times where being too ambitious is a double-edged sword." Prince Erik tossed him aside with the flick of his wrist as he exited. Everyone else stood inplete silence. They knew if they were to speak out, they could possibly lose their head. Even I had unknowingly ced my hand over my neck to check if my head was still connected to my body. Prince Erik could be scary if he wanted to...I had just forgotten about it. Chapter 47: Falling Again Chapter 47: Falling Again I was thest to leave after gathering my things. I realized I had forgotten to give Prince Erik my list of improvements. Maybe if I leave quickly, I can find him before he leaves? I made my way towards the stairs that I first saw Prince Erik when school started and saw him walking down. "Your Highness! A moment please..." "Arielle?" he said as he turned his back towards me. I had identally tripped down the stairs yet again. I moved my hands in front of me in hope that I could break my fall, and then I remembered I was still holding onto the important documents and clutched them close to my chest. Prince Erik had saved me yet again by catching me into his chest. We both fell seated on the stairs. I had once again been weed by the scent of fresh pines and fresh smell ofundry detergent and his chest. "Choose to protect yourself by putting your hands out instead of protecting your documents," Prince Erik scolded. This kind way of scolding isforting... "...Yes," I awkwardly replied. He soon moved from me and stood up. He held out one hand for me and helped me up. "We need to stop meeting like this...It is not good for my heart," Prince Erik sighed. "...I agree," I said. "Then, did you need something from me?" Prince Erik asked. "I wanted to hand you a list of improvements for the bridge," I said as I handed him the documents. "For this...I purposefully ced some errors in the design for other people to point out. Seeing as though not many people cared to look at it means that they were unqualified," Prince Erik said coldly. "...This was pointless then," I said dismally. Prince Erik smiled as he tucked the sheet into his portfolio. "I would not say that. I said I ced some errors to test if they were able to notice them. Your notes will be most useful," he said with a soft voice. His attitude now makes me almost doubt his cold demeanor from earlier. "Your Highness, is there something bothering you?" I asked suddenly. "...No, why?" he asked. "...Well, you seemed irritated much throughout the meeting," I said. "Of course, I would feel irritated when they were constantly undermining your ideas. You are someone I think very highly of," Prince Erik said. I felt touched that he would think so highly of me. "Even if you think that, you could easily make enemies with such an attitude like today, Your Highness," I warned. "Should I just nod my head and ept everything as is then?" he asked crisply. I never said that! "I am in no position to scold you...I just think that it would be in your best interest to create more allies than enemies," I said. "Well, aren''t you just the worrywart? I will be fine in a ce full of enemies. This is no different from all my life, My Lady," Prince Erik said. I felt irritated. A worrywart? How dare he! "With your attitude, it is a wonder why people are willing to follow you," I said snidely. I think I went too far on that one... "Why do you think I have such an attitude in the first ce? It is all your fault! It is natural that I would be concerned about someone important to me..." As soon as Prince Erik realized what he said at the peak of his emotions, he became reddened to his ears. My face red up from the secondhand embarrassment. Usually, he just says those kinds of things without thinking much about it... I suddenly felt guilty about Garett. "...Your Highness, as I have said before, you do not need to be so considerate towards me. I have a lover. I would not like any misunderstandings to ur between the two of us, so please do not show too much concern towards me. We are only together because of student council matters. Outside of this, I do not want you to think much of me," I said coldly. "...What do you like about that guy?" Prince Erik suddenly asked. About Garett? I was taken aback by his question. Should I just answer truthfully? "He is kind, intelligent, and cares deeply for me. Honestly, he is too good for me...but he is important to me," I replied. There was a hint of loneliness in his eyes. The silence coupled with his saddened expression drove my heart into a frenzy. "I see...Well, you should go to him," Prince Erik said as he turned to leave. Looking at his back retreating away from my view made me feel incredibly guilty about how I was living a lie and had to lie to his face about the nature of my rtionship with Garett. Everything hurts... I hated the fact that I could notpletely trust those around me, the fact that I had to lie to everyone Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. including Prince Erik, and how I was using Garett for my own benefit. Why am I the only one being burdened by these memories? If only I could shut off my own heart as well... Chapter 48: Another Lie Chapter 48: Another Lie The movement of the residents went by surprisingly well. Bero and his men helped with the official moving day. At the same time, new jobs were being made. It was easy to see the influx of new residences that would follow afterwards. I was surprised by how swiftly he got things done with the widened roads and newly renovated bridge. I suppose this was the result of sess from the newly formed Student Council. I was even more surprised by the fact that almost one year was over. So much has changed from when I first arrived here. Even the first cycle did not have this many improvements. I wonder if I am intervening with this world too much... "Lady Arielle, I have brought some honey mustard turkey sandwiches," Lady Elsie said. Lady Grace Elsie was actually Senior Glen''s younger sister. We got acquainted the other day when she went we were in line together for lunch. I learned that she received the position of Treasurer from the "They look delicious," I said as I helped carry the sandwiches. "You really shouldn''t have..." "I enjoy cooking and being with you. If you enjoy it, I am all the happier," she said as she twirled her skirt. She is such a lovely youngdy. I thought that I would introduce her to Charlotte and Garett since we would all be eating together. "Are you a fan of books?" I asked her. "I like romance stories between Princesses and her Knight or another Prince," Grace answered. "How feminine of you. I can rmend you some stories if you would like, Lady Elsie" I told her. "Call me Grace. I prefer it that way," Grace said. "Grace, you can call me Arielle as well then." "I refuse," she said with a bright smile. "You are my Lady...I prefer to continue calling you Lady Arielle." "As you wish, Grace..." We soon made it to the Library. "I was not aware that we were able to eat within the Library," Grace said. "It is not strictly enforced. Foods that make loud noises when chewing need to be eaten on the veranda or somewhere outside. We usually eat our lunches outside on the veranda," I said as I led her outside. Charlotte was pouring some tea for the Garett who was reading quietly. "That man...he looks like..." It seems that even Grace can tell Garett''s appearance is uncanny to Prince Erik himself except for the hair color and sses. "The person reading a book is Garett and the one pouring tea is my friend Charlotte." "It is good to see you again, Lady Elsie," Charlotte said. "Likewise," Grace said. "Please call me Grace. I hope to call you by your given name as well." "I would like nothing more," Charlotte said. It was a bit of a surprise for them to know of each other. Then again, Charlotte knows almost everyone since she is a social butterfly. Content from N?velDr(a)ma.Org. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a box of my favorite tea and immediately picked it up. "This tea is my favorite...I am surprised you found this batch here, Charlotte. You can only buy these in the capital. Even then, you have to order it several weeks beforehand," I said as I ced it back down. "I was not the one who brought it. Garett was," Charlotte said. "They had a shipment of these near the market. It was not difficult to procure," Garett said. I withheld myughter. The tea I liked was especially rare and only sold in a few stores. There was no way that it would somehow appear here in the slightest chances. "Thank you for bringing it, Garett," I said with a smile. "...You''re wee." The summer break went quickly by with how I had to spend most of my time doing charity work or hosting tea parties with other family''s daughters alongside my mother. The connections served as a way for my parents tomunicate with other parents, but it was all incredibly dull. Charlotte and Grace would oftene over to my house to hang out with me, but I always felt something was amiss when Garett was not by my side. I was finally approaching my second year at the Royal Academy along with Charlotte and Grace and Garett who was in his third and final year. I do not feel as though anything has really changed other than the fact I had gained a bit of poprity from the Knight section. The spar from my first year solidified my poprity as the Sword Princess. No one bothered in treating me unfairly, rather I only became more popr with the males. It was a bit difficult to refuse the hand of many mening up to me. Thankfully, I had Garett by my side. "Lady Arielle has been chosen to take on the dare!" our dorm head said. It was apparently a tradition for second years to choose one unlucky soul to go to the male dorms to do a random dare. Males and females are forbidden from entering each other''s dorms as it would arise not so good gossip. Even if the rules were like that, mostly young Nobles attend here, so it would be expected that no one would follow those rules. My Erik was definitely not one to follow those rules in the first cycle. He woulde and go out of my room as he liked. We would spend a number of scandalous nights during those days. Looking back, I was far from a pure youngdy...I want to bury those memories so badly. "What is the dare?" I asked as I epted my fate. I had identally drawn the stick for the dare. The one who was supposed to draw it was the girl who went before me. "Arielle, you must bring a male''s tie back here by tomorrow," our dorm head said. I sighed as I resigned to my fate. Chapter 49: The Dare Chapter 49: The Dare I should just find a tie and quickly leave... It was my first time wandering through the male dorms. There were not guards specifically roaming about, so it was easy to slip in. This must be the reason why the young Nobles here are able to frequently visit each their lover''s rooms back in my day or present time now... I found out that there were distinct differences with the decor between the male and female dorms. Compared to the morous and flowery decor of the girl dorms, the male dorms were slightly more mellow and less colorful. It waste, so there were not many people roaming the halls. I wanted to avoid their gazes, so I quickly hid whenever someone came near. I went towards the upper floors since I remembered that higher Nobles lived higher up. As I did so, the number of people roaming about started to decrease and my chances of getting caught lowered significantly. My cousin Randall should be up there. I remembered that he told me that he had a good view of the clocktower from his room and that he lived at the end of the hallway. There were two rooms that fit the descriptions. I was split at a medium and had to turn left or right. Which one do I choose? "What are you doing here?" someone from behind me asked. I turned around and saw Garett with the ends of his hair slightly wet along with his shirt. Did hee from a bath? "Garett...I''m here for..." We suddenly heard some iing voices. My wrist was suddenly grabbed by Garett. "Girls are forbidden in male dorms. Let''s go to my room first," he said as he went towards one end of the hallway. "W-Wait..." I would rather get caught than go into his room alone with him. Myints went unheard, and I entered the bedroom. Garett suddenly began stripping. "I need to get out of these wet clothes first if you don''t mind," he said as he took off his soaked clothes. I do mind! I turned away but was unable topletely avert my gaze out of temptation. I was married before, so I saw my husband''s body multiple times. His Knights would also wander about shirtless as well, but Garett was a man that oozed sex appeal even though he usually keeps himself covered from the neck up even on the hottest summer days. Anyone with a lick of curiosity in their blood would want to take a peek at this man''s body. Unexpectedly, Garett was hiding a very fit and muscr body. His shoulders were broad while his waist seemed to be entuated the multiple lines running along his midriff. I had never seen him workout before but apparently his six-pack said otherwise. "So, what were you doing there?" Garett asked after he began buttoning up a white standing cor shirt. He is in his casual clothes... I suddenly felt his facee close to mine and flinched from surprise. "Ah, I''m sorry...I was in deep thought," I said. "Should you really be so deep in thought while you are in a room alone with a man?" My heart raced for a moment before it cooled down. I was surprisingly calm for the situation I was in. "The other party is Garett after all..." He slightly scrunched his eyebrows as he made his way to the opposite side of the room. "I still think that you should have a sense of danger...You are the only woman I know who would sit on a man''s bed without any thought," he said as he crossed his arms. Now that I think about it, I sat here because the number of ces to sit were few. I am still a woman no matter how old my mentality was... "I''m sorry about that," I said as I tried to sit up. "It''s fine. There are not many ces to sit here," he said as he turned around. "I will make some tea." "...I should still get up. I feel bad about sitting on your bed," I said. "It is fine for me. Any other man would take it as a sign for an invitation," he said as he came towards me with a teacup. An invitation...means that kind of thing, right? I felt my face be flushed. "I came here because of a dare," I said as I epted the mug. "A dare?" "One person from our dorm is to ept a dare to enter the male dorms and retrieve an item. Those who refuse or fail are subjected to a punishment game," I said. Garett sighed. "You are unlucky..." "I know that fully well...I thought that I might as well ask my cousin Randall for his help. It was supposed to be a simple task, until I got caught by you," I exined. "...So, what is the item you must retrieve?" Garett asked. "I was ordered to retrieve a tie," I said. "You can take my tie then," Garett said as he rummaged around his drawers for a tie. "Do you have a spare?" I asked. "I do," he said as he handed me his tie. "Thank you very much then. I will get going then," I said as I made my way towards the exit. The door I had begun opening was suddenly pushed back closed by Garett. "Stop," he whispered in my ears. The sound of footsteps was slowly approaching. Dorm supervisors! I was suddenly pulled by Garett and thrown underneath his covers on the bed with him lying beside me. Knock! Knock! "...We are here to inspect the dorms." I was suddenly brought into Garett''s strong embrace. He smelled of fresh linen. The covers made the environment incredibly hot and difficult to breathe. I might die... The door was suddenly opened. "Sleeping?" The inspectors took a peek for what felt like an hour and left. Garett had released me from the suppressive and hot environment right afterwards. "They left, but they will continue monitoring the halls until early in the morning. Once a week, they randomlye to inspect the dorms and monitor us for the whole night...You picked the one bad day of the week that they are here," Garett said as he got out from the bed. "Does that mean I have to hide here until then?" I asked. "It seems so...If we were on the first floor, it would be easier to sneak you out. I know that you may be ufortable with it but use my room as you wish. You can use my bed," he said as he began rummaging through his drawers. He soon handed me one of his shirts. "Just use one of my shirts as nightwear." "I can just use my uniform..." "...With your clothes as wet as they are?" he said as he continued averting his gaze. Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. My sweat had turned my clothes translucent. "I will trouble you then," I said as I quickly took his shirt and began changing. Garett''s shirt was ratherrge as it hade to my knees. It was practically a dress on me... My legs were bare since I had to take my tights off. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over me. "I am done changing," I told Garett. "I am going to sleep outside then," Garett said. "...Where?" "There is a couch in the den area..." "If the dorm supervisors see you outside, they will ask questions about why you are sleeping outside," I reasoned. Garett was not sounding rationale... "Are you suggesting that we share a room then?" he asked. Sharing a room...It would have to end that way since there are people outside. "I apologize if my presence makes you feel ufortable...I can just sleep in the bathroom if that makes you feel better," I said. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you sleep on the bathroom?" he asked. "Sleep in the bed with me then!" I said with a slightly annoyed tone. Garett slowly came towards me and lifted the nkets. "...Are you sure that you do not mind me getting in the bed with you?" Garett asked with a serious expression. I suddenly felt shy when I realized that sharing a bed meant that we would beying close to each other. "It is fine," I answered despite the loud sound of my beating heart. Garett maneuvered his way under the nkets and sat beside me. My heart was racing a bit from the unique situation. It has been a long time for me sharing a bed with someone. I was mentally someone who was not new to this. However, my young heart seems to be extremely nervous for some reason. Garett suddenly sandwiched a pillow in between us. "For protection," he said. "Protection?" Is he possibly... "...Who knows if you will try to grab me? I need this in order to protect myself," he said as heid down and closed his eyes. ...Shameless. "I see. Goodnight," I said as I quicklyid down and rested my eyes. I bet that Garett only said those things to make me feel less afraid of sleeping next to a man. It is my fault for wandering around the male dorms. All Garett has done was nothing but helpful to me. I could not seem to sleep and peeked over the pillow to see Garett''s chest was slowly rising and descending. He probably thinks of me as a troublesome little sister if he can sleep this easily... I felt my consciousness quickly fading. That morning, I found the barrier untouched and Garett still sleeping. His sleeping face is rather angelic with his delicate skin and his long eyshes. However, his hands contained a closed novel on his stomach. When did he grab a book? Did he wake up in the middle of the night and began reading or is he saving it for when he wakes up? Either way, seeing him hug a book while he was sleeping was a bit cute. I quietly changed into my uniform and took the tie Garett prepared for me with me. I had left a letter in Garett''s book for when he would wake up. I touched my lips for a bit. For some reason, there was a tingling sensation left over. ...Was it the tea fromst night? Chapter 50: Sharing a Bed [Garett] Chapter 50: Sharing a Bed [Garett] [Garett''s Perspective] At some point, I have be the most hated person on campus. I had boldly announced myself as Arielle''s lover andnded myself in the hot seat with the school''s...or country''s most beautiful woman. She is a bit too popr for her own good. The person herself is oblivious to the numerous stares she received from both men and women which only adds to my own troubles since both genders will take their anger and jealousy out on me through petty bullying or hateful notes in my books but nothing too serious. For some odd reason, she does not believe that she is popr since no one dares approach her whenever she is alone. However, I know the full truth because I have seen her fan club watch out for her from afar. It looks like a cult on the outside, but it seems that most of them actually look out for Arielle with good intentions. If there is any kind of unsavory character approaching her with bad intentions, the fan club members will deal with the problem stealthily before Arielle notices. In a way, the organization is quite useful but also a bit frightening to people they deem dangerous... The only reason that they continue to let me be around Arielle is because they have not found a ''reason'' to get rid of me yet. Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. I think they are just waiting for me in the shadows, until they find me even remotely dangerous. It is not like I could not understand their concerns. With her luscious pink hair and doll like eyes, I doubt any sane man could leave her alone...Those worries actually extend to me as well. Every time I see her, I feel an unimaginable joy but also feel anxious when I see her. A little earlier, I was doused with water by her fanatic fans for being a little too close with Arielle the other day... When I saw her wandering through the male dorm halls, I thought my deepest desires manifested into reality. When I realized that she was not an illusion, I quickly caught her and brought her to my room before anyone could find her and inquired the reason for her sudden visit. She said that she was dared by her other friends to take a tie from a male student. It was an obviously ridiculous and dangerous dare but knew that Arielle was not the type to turn down these kinds of requests and did not think too deeply about the repercussions that would happen if she were to be caught. I can tell from how pure she was from how easily she found it to sit on my bed without a care that another man was with her in the room with her. Her short skirt seemed to ride up and reveal her milky colored thighs as she sat down on my bed. I tried to look away and respect her body. Any other male would take that as an invitation, but Arielle herself is too pure and unknowing about the rules between men and women. Luckily, I built up a bit of immunity towards this enchantment of hers over the years, so it is not easy for me to sumb to her beauty unlike other people. A littleter, the dorm supervisors began their round checks. I could not have them finding Arielle, so I pushed her down under the covers with me and waited until the coast was clear. When I released her from hiding under the covers, her clothes had be translucent from all of her sweating and began sticking to her body as well as revealing her frilly undergarments that seemed to match her pink hair. It was then that I realized she was a lot slimmer underneath her clothes than I previously thought... No! Whatever immunity I built up over the years seem useless now... I suggested on leaving the room to sleep in the shared living space but was stopped by Arielle herself. She used her beautiful face and told me to share the bed with her. I failed against my male desires and ended up caving to her request. Now, I am lying in bed right next to her with a flimsy barrier I ced earlier between us. My mischievous heart moved the pillow aside for a moment. I got to see face up close. She was extremely pretty. Her skin was smooth and bright like porcin, her eyshes were long and fluttery, and her beautiful lips appeared as if they were lightly stained with cherries. I daringly touched her cheeks lightly with my fingertips. Women are such soft and fragile creatures...Arielle one looks as if the tiniest hold could break her. I leaned over her and touched her soft lips ever so slightly with my thumb. I wanted to silence the soft breathing of hers so desperately with my own lips. "...Erik," escaped from her lips. Even after spending so much time with her, she could still not look my way... I sat up and clutched my painfully throbbing heart. The one I love will never be mine...what a terrible unrequited love. Chapter 51: The Witch Chapter 51: The Witch There was a buzz about a new transfer student with ck hair and ck eyes. It was a rare witch has finally shown herself. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . No matter how hard I tried to find her, the world was against me. It appears that there are certain events that were meant to happen and that I cannot avoid unless I do something drastic to avoid the event. I guess thews of the world about our confrontation are not easy to escape. Maybe I can move up our confrontation earlier? Our confrontation urs from my marriage with Erik and his coronation as King soon afterwards. If I can antagonize her enough, we can have our confrontation while I am at the peak of my strength. I went to the most knowledgeable person I could think of during lunch. "Gavin, are you familiar with ways of bullying someone?" His eyebrows scrunched up so much that it seemed that his face would stay like that forever. "What are you asking about with that face of yours?" Gavin asked. "I am asking about how to go about antagonizing another female." "You just rephrased the question...Help me sweep the front porch," he said as he began sweeping. "Why are you asking an apprentice clergy anyways?" "I thought that you must be the most in touch with the world''s evils due to your profession." "You are wrong, but you are not that far off...What aplicated statement," Gavin said. "Why are you researching about how to bully a person? What did that person ever do to you?" She killed my husband and brought me to despair. "Nothing...I just dislike her," I said as I left. "I will donate some moneyter. I hope that you will distribute some of the funds towards the maind to buy winter coats for the orphanages." As I thought, I do not have it in me to y the viiness role...I have been surrounded by too many good people. If only I had been a dull person who grew up without being loved, maybe things would have been different. "You are too cocky for a freshman!" ady screamed. I happened upon Kaya Ouchi while she was being verbally bullied by other girls. This scene again. I let the confrontation grow to physical means between thedies before intervening. "The teacher will being around soon. It is best that you lot get on with your day," I told them. They quickly left. "You helped me?" The same conversation again... "My name is Arielle Ira Maddox." "Why would you, of all people, help me?" Instead of being grateful, she continued on with her rude tone. ...Wait, she knew of me before she met me? I never thought too much about it, but she has met me before? "...Do you know of me?" I inquired her. She averted her gaze. "How could this lowly Noble know a Duke''s daughter?" she asked. "...When have I ever said that I was a daughter of a Duke?" I asked. Did she return to this cycle as well? A group of men cameing our way. I want to interrogate her further, but I am unable to with these people around. The group consisted of a follower of the church sect Gavin Lord, my cousin Randall Maddox, and the son of a high ranked official Channing Wells, and the son of a Knight, Dolton Grass. This time, they stood beside me instead of her. A strange rearrangement... "Is she bothering you in any way, Lady Arielle Maddox?" Dolton Grass asked. I thought these people were in love with her. Well, I did build up a respectable rtionship with all of them this time around... For what reason would they need to look at me with contempt? I am the one who wants to choke her to death... "No, I was just passing by when I saw this youngdy being bullied," I answered them truthfully. Why would I need to lie? Gavin has a slightly worried look on his face. "That must be a lie! You must have been the one who ordered the girls earlier to bully me because you were jealous of me!" Kaya Ouchi shouted. I have not met those other girls before, and this is also our first encounter in this cycle. On what basis is she using me from? "Pardon?" I said. I am shocked. I have not even done anything yet. Should I just ept the usations and make her hate me more so? She wille after me and I can deal with her sooner. "Hold your tongue, Miss!" Dolton Grass said. "Those are some vile usations without any proof. May I remind you that you are speaking to Lady Arielle who is the daughter of a Duke. Unless you are someone of the same position or higher, you are not allowed to speak down to her." "Dolton..." I was touched that he would defend me... "Why, Dolton?" she asked him with a hurt expression. "You are supposed to be on my side!" Is she still stuck with the mindset that all men were her servants? "I barely just met you, and you want me to be on your side after using My Lady of a heinous crime?" he asked. "Is it not true? She is mad at me for being close to her fianc¨¦!" Kaya Ouchi said. Our argument began gathering a group of onlookers from Kaya Ouchi''s loud voice. "Lady Arielle has a fianc¨¦!" the group eximed in unison. I shook my head. Is this confrontation of ours really going to ur this early on our first meeting? "I am not engaged to anyone," I said. I had broken off my engagement before the announcement. There is no way that anyone unrted could possibly know that I was engaged. How does she know of my engagement? "Are you really not engaged?" Dolton Grass asked me again. Why is he curious? "...No. I am not engaged, but I have a lover," I announced. "It must be Prince Erik then. She is jealous of me being close to Prince Erik," Lady Kaya said. Does she know that I was engaged to Prince Erik? She does not seem like a returner from the way she speaks, but she has prior knowledge of the world before my marriage. "That is where you are wrong," a voice from the onlookers said. From the crowd, Garett emerged. "I am her lover," Garett proimed. I felt my face re up in embarrassment. "You? Why are you using such an image?" she asked as she clutched onto Garett''s clothing. "You of all people should be on my side as well!" Does she know Garett as well? As I thought, thergest contradiction is that woman. "I have no idea about who you are," he said as he brushed her aside. She fell onto her knees and put on a look of despair since she had no one to rely on. I almost pity her situation. However, I still dislike her personality that puts me on others without reasonable evidence. It is not like I wanted her to like me either. It is a bit worrying that things are differentpared to my first life. One of them being that the ones beside me used to be on her side. Another was that she had an intense hatred towards me despite me never doing anything to her. The number of contradictions is too many to count... Garett quickly went to my side and held my shoulders as he took me away from the scene. "Do you know that person?" I asked Garett. He took my hand into his as he began pulling me along. "No, she is just a crazed girl...I should be asking you that question because you look like you could kill someone with that re." I touched my face. "I was ring?" "It appears that you were unaware of it..." I hate that girl enough to want to kill her. She killed Erik in the first cycle. If she loved him, maybe I coulde to understand her. However, she only went after me because of selfish reasons. "I suppose I do hate her," I said as I stopped in one ce. She was the person who took away the most important person to me... Garett turnedpletely towards me and coughed into his fist slightly before letting my hand go. "I''m sorry about earlier. I tried to keep the number of people knowing about our rtionship on the down-low for your sake," Garrett said. I smiled at him. "How could I get mad at my savior? Thank you for everything, Garett." "...You are wee, Arielle." Chapter 52: Half My Heart Chapter 52: Half My Heart The number of rumors circling around me started to grow. Most of them were no good... "Lady Arielle, I heard a few unpleasant rumors about you that Lady Kaya was spreading," a girl from my ss said to me in private. "Of course, everyone who knows you well does not believe in them one bit, but there are some who like to put mes where there are not any." "...I understand," I said. Even though I said that I did not understand what I should have done then. As I was walking down the stairs, I suddenly felt a push from behind my back. As I was falling, I threw my hands out. The person who caught me into her embrace soon afterwards was Charlotte who held both me and her with the stair railing. "Safe...Arielle, are you alright?" Charlotte asked. "Charlotte!" I said in surprise. "I saw you falling and caught you just in time," Charlotte said. "Thank you," I said. "You! I saw you push her!" Charlotte screamed at a girl at the top of the stairs. "N-No, I didn''t!" she said in a fluster. "Don''t lie! I clearly saw you push her. He did as well!" Charlotte said as she looked at the man on the other side of the staircase. "...It looked a bit suspicious how her hand was pushed out in front of her when Lady Arielle fell," the man said. "It is all Lady Arielle''s fault! You were talking to my fianc¨¦ behind my back!" the girl said. People soon began gathering due to the loudmotion. I had to clear the rumors right away. "...I was in the study hall all day. There was no way that I would have had time to talk to someone much less someone else''s fianc¨¦," I said. "...Lady Kaya surely said¡ª" "About your fianc¨¦...I saw him talking to Lady Kaya rather intimately in the orchid garden. Maybe you are the one who should check whether your sources are reliable or not," Charlotte said coldly. A teacher soon came by and escorted the girl away to guidance, while Charlotte and I went to the Library. "Have some tea," Charlotte said as she made me a cup of tea. "Thank you for saving me again, Char. I do not know what would have happened if you weren''t there," I said as I shakily held the cup in my hands. "That Lady Kaya Ouchi is shameless! Lady Arielle has done nothing wrong to earn her hate. This is all just wretched jealousy!" Grace said angrily. "...There must be some underlying reason for her hate," I said as I picked up my teacup and swiveled the liquid. I never tried to understand her or her actions. That was the main reason for how things ended as they did in the first cycles. I have no excuses for what happened then. Maybe the hate I earn now is equivalent to the wrongs I have done in my past... "You are a bit too kind, Arielle...It is a good quality to have, but people will take advantage of you," Garett said. "You are one to talk," Charlotte said. I felt my face flush when I saw Garett''s face turn red. Has he really taken advantage of me before? As if he tried to avoid answering, Garett quickly took a sip from his tea out of embarrassment. A few momentster, the cup fell out of his hands. "Garett?" I asked. Garett pped the cup out of my hands and ced his right hand over his mouth with a distressed N?velDrama.Org ? content. face. "...Do...not...drink..." Garett said as he covered his mouth with his hands. "It''s poisoned..." He suddenly coughed up some blood into his hands and fell to the ground as his entire body started lightly convulsing. The throbbing in my chest is painful... The scene of blood gave me horrid memories back of when I saw people I loved die... "...D-Doctor...we need a doctor!" I said as I went to Garett''s side. I am aware first-aid treat for poison, but was unable to ess that information from the stress. I cradled his head in myp as I began crying. I moved my hands towards my face and began running my fingers through my hair as I pulled it away from my head. No matter what I do, I bring misfortune to everyone around me... "Lady Arielle! Keep yourself together!" Grace said as she shook my shoulders. My heart calmed down slightly despite my tears profusely falling from my eyes. "If he stops breathing, please begin performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation for me...I will tell you how to do it," I said. Charlotte had already left to find a doctor while I was in the middle of panicking. It will be soon until the doctor gets here... "Hold on," I told Garett as I held grabbed his hand. My cheek was suddenly touched. "I...will...be fine," Garett said before he fainted. My heart was tearing to pieces as Garett continued throbbing around in pain. Every time he moved around, I felt like dying. "If you die, you will be taking half of my heart with you...Please don''t die!" I cried. I cannot have you dying again! The person who carries half of my heart is here. I finally realized my feelings. If you die here, I will not forgive you or myself for the second time... It was then that I begged God to not take him from me. Chapter 53: I Am Fine Chapter 53: I Am Fine After three very long days, my prayers were answered. Garett had awoken from his three days of being bedridden. They had him moved to his room after he started feeling a little better. I also gained some special permission toe to his room to nurse him back to health. "How are you feeling?" I asked Garett. The poison and treatment should have knocked him out for a whole week. He recovered in just three days. Even the doctor was surprised by Garett''s strong vitality. "I have seen better days...Could you hand me a book?" Garett asked. This book nut... "I returned all of your borrowed books to the library. They needed to be sent back anyways," I said. "I should go see what new books they have this week," Garett said as he removed his covers. I forced him back into his bed by pushing him back down onto his bed. "Make do with what you have," I ordered. "I do not have that many personal books with me," Garett said. "Despite being a bookworm, you do not carry that many books with you? That sounds a bit strange," I said as I looked around his room. "...My family does not allow me to bring many books with me and the Library here only allows a certain number of books to be checked out at one time," Garett said. "Your family..." I never asked about Garett''s family, so I do not know much about them. He himself never asked to inform his family, so we never contacted his family about the poisoning incident. "Are you alright?" Garett asked me. "...I have seen better days," I answered him curtly. "I suppose so...You were crying so much for me. Now, your eyes are swollen," Garett said as he touched the side of my face for a moment. I am so embarrassed. I even put a hot wet towel over my eyes earlier to try and reduce the swelling. "Are they that bad?" I asked as I touched my face. "...Your eyes are pretty as usual," he said with a gentle smile. My face red up from his unusual line. "I see..." "When I was in pain, I could remember hearing you bawling your eyes out and crying out my name..." "...You heard all that?" I said as I tried to bury my face in my hands. "Among other things...Did you mean what you said before?" Garett asked. "What did I say?" I asked as I lifted my face from my hands. My left hand was suddenly taken by his right hand and ced over hisp. The sounds of my heartbeat drowned out all of my thoughts. I did not have the heart, nor the strength to remove my hand from his grasp. "You said that I had ''half of your heart''...Do you still mean it?" Garett asked. His beautiful emerald green eyes that were not covered by hisrge sses seemed to be much more expressive than Ist remembered. They quivered slightly as I found them stare deeply into my soul. "I do not remember saying such things," I said as I turned my face away. He turned my face towards his with his other hand and smiled. "For someone who almost died, I think I deserve a bit of the truth..." "...I may...I may have said something like that." "That is good enough for now," he said as he tapped his forehead against mine. His hands ran through my hair and he gently caressed my cheek. I held his other hand as I looked back into his eyes. Everything about his eyes were telling me that he loved me. His lips went to my forehead, my eyes, my nose, and then my cheeks. How soft they were... Everywhere his lips touched left an exhrating hot sensation behind. At this rate, I am going to melt Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. under his sweet kisses. I moved my hands towards his chest and grasped his shoulders. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth as I turned my head slightly. What would it be like if Garett used his soft lips to kiss me on the lips? "We brought some chicken and milk stew," Charlotte said as she entered the room with Grace. Garett and I quickly looked in opposite directions. Dangerous... Who knew a room with a male and female alone together in a closed room could be so dangerous? I felt confused when I touched my lips with my fingers. They seemed a bit lonely for some reason. It seems that I myself was expecting a kiss from Garett and that confused me greatly. I still love Erik from my first life very dearly. I am also aware that Garett has grown into a person who I could not ignore and that the feeling in my chest when I would think of Garett''s face was undeniably true. I like Garett... As for who I love more, I am not sure anymore. I always thought that I loved my husband the most in the world and nothing could ever change that. After reviving and returning to the past, I began to develop feelings for the person who has been by my side the longest. Chapter 54: My Pace Chapter 54: My Pace I saw Garett at the front entrance of the Library. We were the first to arrive. I sat across from him and opened my notes from my earlier sses. "Was ss alright?" Garett asked. "Yes..." He must be worried about me... "How about some tea?" Garett asked as he lifted up a tea canister. I pped the canister out of his hands-on reflex. "...I''m sorry," I said as I tried to pick up the tea canister. "No, I am...I am sorry for being inconsiderate," Garett said as he picked up the canister. It was a batch of my favorite tea again. "No, I am sorry. I just have had time to be able to adjust yet," I said. "We will go by your pace then..." Garett took out some silverware as he continued making tea. "Silverware?" My pace? You liar... He handed me a cup of freshly brewed tea. The silver did not change color. The only color reflected was its beautiful pink iridescent color. "It''s not poisonous. That day, I drank your favorite tea, but I do not regret it one bit. It was intended for you, but I am d that I drank it first. I would have med myself if I could not have saved you then. Rather than keep feeling guilty, I would rather see you smile from enjoying the things you like again. It is fine to not give up the things you love just from one bad incident," Garett said with a gentle smile. I took a sip from the teacup. "It is delicious," I said as I began crying again. Garett hade over to my side and held my face in his hands. His lips had touched my eyes and my cheeks. "...Thanks for the meal," Garett said as he licked his lips. Meal? Do not look at me with such hungry eyes. I do not know how to react if you do. Charlotte soon walked in with Grace. "Were you crying again, Arielle? Your eyes are a bit red," Charlotte said as she inspected my face. "...Just a little dust in my eyes," I said as I looked back towards Garett who stuck his nose back into his books. "It took a while, but I found some witnesses that saw Lady Kaya Ouchie into the Library and this restricted section. I checked with all of the other tea canisters, but only one was tampered with. Someone was clearly after Lady Arielle," Grace said. "Why would she go so far?" Charlotte asked as she held my shoulders. "Witnesses only saw her going in the Library...That can be the same for hundreds of students every day. She could easily just say that she was here to do homework or research. This does not serve as proof," I said. "Unless she acts with bolder moves, we cannot catch her in the act," Garett said. "We wait..." I said dejectedly. "We cannot have that! Thest time was an attempt. What if she seeds the next time?" Charlotte asked. Charlotte had suddenly burst into tears. I quickly wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. It was the first time I had ever seen her in so much distress. Charlotte was a perfectdy. One could even call her the favorite for a Queen Candidate. She had practiced hiding her emotions ever since she was young, so it was not easy for her to cry especially for someone else either. "Char..." "Garett is my friend too...I hate knowing that there is someone aiming to hurt the people I love without being able to do anything," Charlotte said. I had asked everyone to let me walk around alone. Surely, if I am seen alone, Kaya Ouchi will be bolder with her movements. Those that act to boldly are often met at the hands of their mistakes along the way... I am counting on that... It was a bit difficult for me to avoid Charlotte''s worried nces at me for the next three days. From how things had been quiet, I thought that it was only a matter of time before Kaya Ouchi would seize the chance to take advantage of the situation. A girl had handed me a note during ss saying that a boy with sses and ck hair handed it to her. Garett? When I opened the note, I saw neat handwriting resembling Garett''s handwriting. "Come to the clocktower after school ends. There is new information." Short and straight to the point just like his usual self... After sses ended, I made sure that I was not being followed and went up the clocktower. There were several rooms in the clocktower, so it was a bit difficult to know which one it was that I was supposed to go to. I ended up going to the highest room in the tower and entered. There was only one window, a few small bookcases with five books on each one and aid-out pile of hay in the center. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . No sign of life or Garett... Near the bed of hay, there were a pair of sses. I quickly went to inspect them closely. The color of the rims was slightly off. These do not belong to Garett... I gave off a sigh of relief. I was suddenly hit behind my neck and felt my consciousness fading. Chapter 55: Delusional Chapter 55: Delusional When I woke up again, I was greeted by an intense flowery smell that seemed to disturb my senses. As I tried moving around, I found that I was bounded from the top of my corbone to my very own ankles. Even my legs were bounded to my thighs. There was no way for me to move at all. The slightest movement would dig into my skin and feel as though it were getting tighter. It was a binding technique that I had never seen before. This rope was strong and had a slight stretchiness to itself. It seemed impossible to break free... If that were not all, the sickly-sweet scent drove my senses crazy and made my body hot. "How is it?" a familiar voice asked. I looked up from my gaze and saw long ck hair dangling before my eyes. "...Kaya Ouchi?" There were three male students standing behind her. One of them had ck hair as well. Kaya Ouchi went beside me and picked up the sses and handed it to the male behind her. This room was no longer the clocktower. It was now in apletely different room and was lying on top of a white bed. "Correct!" she said in an annoyingly high-pitched tone. "...Why...this?" My throat felt as though it was burning. Was I forced to take something? Poison? "It seems to be working faster than normal. It must be because you have such an lewd body," she said as she suddenly groped my chest. Why would another girl grope me? Even though she was a girl, I suddenly felt my body be electrified. "...What did you give me?" I asked. "I gave you an aphrodisiac," she said as she let go of me. "...Why?" I asked. "I hate you for having Prince Erik''s heart!" I did not even look one way towards Prince Erik ever since returning to school. "You are crazy..." "That''s right...I am crazy. I fell for the perfect man with the most perfect looks and perfect position. However, he refuses to look at anyone else but you. As expected of the viiness..." "Viiness? What do you know of me?" "I know everything about you...This world is part of an online novel from my world." "Novel?" Her eyes soon became dreamy. "In that novel, I am the heroine who steals away your fianc¨¦ Prince Erik from your evil clutches while the other male protagonists Gavin Lord, Randall Maddox, Channing Wells, and Dolton Grass are allContent is property of N?velDrama.Org. trying to win my favor because they are all in love with me." This girl is delusional... "This world is a novel, you say?" "After Prince Erik begins paying attention to me, you begin bullying me by destroying my clothes and spreading nasty rumors. Despite that, Prince Erikes to my rescue!" "...I see." I felt my body slowly cooling down. This woman is just a lunatic. "In one of the events, you take me to this abandoned shed in an attempt to have me defiled by several men. However, Prince Erik saves me from that horrid fate, and we share our first night here!" she said as she squeezed her own cheeks. "The incident would get you expelled andter you woulde for vengeance a year after our wedding, only to be beheaded after attempting to hurt royalty." These events...only I would know of the assassination event. The details were strange, but that was definitely around the time Kaya Ouchi tried to take vengeance. "...What do you intend to do with me?" I asked her. She grinned widely as she pressed her fingers to her lips. "I will have you defiled by these gentlemen," she said with a wide smile. A cold shiver travelled down my spine. "You won''t get away with this!" "I already have when I brought you all the way here. Prince Erik is away on business in the capital on the maind for three days. You will be here enjoying yourself hidden away from everyone else...Do your best to get pregnant while you do," she said as she ripped my shirt open. "Stop!" I screamed as I squirmed under my bindings. "If you ever feel lonely, I will bring your friends here as well," she said as she chuckled. "Do not touch a single hair on either of them...I will make you pay!" "How cute...It is a bit unfair that your face will remain beautiful no matter how angry you are...I almost want to cut it up," she said as she lifted up my chin. "We should save her face at least for the ve traders. No one will think of Lady Arielle as a Duke''s daughter once we are done with her," one of the men said. "That''s right," Kaya Ouchi said as she released my chin. She pushed me onto the bed. "Can we get started?" one of the men asked. "Are you a virgin, Arielle?" Kaya Ouchi asked. "It will hurt a bit then...Let''s have our Garett lookalike go first. I want to make sure that her womanhood is taken from her before I leave you all to it." Kaya Ouchi got a blue bottle and shoved it down my throat. "I am being so kind by giving you another dose. When these men touch you, it will feel even better," she said with a joyful expression. The male with sses approached me with his shirt off and removed his sses. This must be it... I did not remain a virgin until death in my first life. The pain I received from my first time was rather awful, but it was with the person I loved the most. I never even thought that I could ever be held by someone else for my first time again. "Don''t worry...I am good," the man before me said as he spread my legs. "Stop it," I whimpered as I turned my head away to avoid reality. "You can just think of me as the person you love the most," he whispered in my ears. Garett... "Lady Arielle!" Dolton Grass screamed as his body mmed the man towering over me. "My arm is broken!" one of the men screamed. "Dolton?" He suddenly fell over and held his side. Kaya Ouchi had stabbed him with a knife. "My dear Dolton...You klutz! You fell onto my knife!" Kaya Ouchi said as she smirked. The men started to leave. "Hey! Come back and finish the job!" Kaya Ouchi screamed at the men. "My arm is broken! I am obviously leaving now!" one of the men said. Kaya Ouchi clicked her tongue. She grabbed Dolton by his hair and threw him to the ground before running saws and locking the door. Now, we are both trapped here... "Are you alright, Dolton?" I asked as I rolled to my side. "...I''m fine," he said as he sat up. It is a deep wound...There is no way he is fine. I pulled my handkerchief from my breast pocket with my teeth. "Use this to dress the wound," I ordered. "...Thank you." He ripped up his shirt and ced my handkerchief over his wound. "It must be difficult for you to move," he said as he tried breaking the rope. He failed entirely. "Why is this so strong? My apologies...we need something sharp to cut it." "...Dolton, I have a small de between my chest," I said to much of my embarrassment. "I was going to use it against that man before you got here..." Dolton groaned in pain. "You are just full of surprises..." "...Could you reach inside and take it?" His face became reddened. "Pardon!" "It was a de that I kept hidden in case I needed it. When you surprised me, the de went deeper down my shirt. If you could just reach it for my sake...The bonding is very ufortable..." "Y-Your bosom..." "You can just think of them as lumps of meat!" I said. I said such a strange thing...If we do not die from hyperthermia, I will be sure to die from embarrassment. "Ah..." Even Dolton is speechless... Should I beg after all? This person is a Knight...Men like him have stricter morals than the average man. "Please...I''m desperate." I heard him swallow for some reason before he bowed his head towards me. "If you will excuse my rudeness..." I gulped as I closed my eyes. Even though Dolton saved me, I felt nervous about him reaching his hand towards me. I opened my eyes slightly and felt the insertion of his cool fingers between my chest. "...Cold." "I''m sorry!" he said as he pulled his hand back. "Continue..." It was getting more difficult to breathe around the ropes over my chest. I felt my breath getting deeper and faster. It seemed like Dolton''s breath was getting faster as well. I guess he was in a lot of pain from his wound. "I can''t find it..." "A little lower..." I instructed him. His fingers suddenly touched the hilt of the hidden dagger. "I think I found it..." "That''s it...I have it sheathed, so if you could grab the whole thing without identally unsheathing it." "Th-That would mean putting my whole hand in..." "It''s a rather sharp...I would not want to get cut by my own dagger, unless it is truly necessary..." "I will try..." he said as he used his entire hand to pull out the dagger. I flinched slightly from his rigid hands. He finally pulled it out. "Ow..." "My apologies!" "The sheath identally scratched me...It is not your fault." Dolton quickly released the binding over my chest and arms. I was able to release my hands by myself and cut the binding over my legs. There were rope burns all over my body. I quickly found my panties and put them on. I then went to Dolton and quickly tended to his injuries. "This is a deplorable situation," Dolton said. "I''m sorry for not being more useful." I tried smiling. "You saved my chastity...That is more than I could ever ask for," I said as I finish tying up his bandages. He touched my cheek gently with his right hand. "Was I able to save you this time?" Dolton asked with a smile. This time? "...Dolton, what do you mean by that?" I asked him. He suddenly got on one knee and ced his fist on the ground as he bowed his head towards me. "My Queen..." It had been so long since I was called that. Out of shock, I covered up my mouth with both hands. I was not the only one who returned to the past. Chapter 56: Return of the Traitor Chapter 56: Return of the Traitor "Queen?" "You are my Queen..." "...Did you return to the past, Dolton?" I asked. "I take it that you as well then...I returned to the past around fifteen years ago. My memories were just as fresh as the day I lost my life," Dolton said. "When did you die?" I asked. "Not long after Your Highness died with His Majesty, I was arrested for high treason. It was not until I was thrown into prison did, I learn that Lady Kaya had attacked you and His Majesty with a dagger she snuck in. The Chancellor quickly took over matters concerning the state and reissued the previous King to take back his position as ruler," Dolton said. "They put a grieving King who lost both his only son and daughter-inw back on the throne?" I asked. "It was an emergency situation...I do not have much knowledge of what happened afterwards since I was sent to execution along with Kaya Ouchi and her fellow perpetrators that allowed her to sneak into the castle back then...I already confirmed that she is not a returner like us, but she is oddly aware of details pertaining to several people who are higher up in power. I never noticed it in the first life before because I was madly infatuated with her, but I believe that she has the tendencies simr to that of a spy," Dolton exined. A spy... She is a terrible one at that. "...Why did you betray her now?" I asked. "...As you may have guessed, I was once in love with her. I cut off my rtionship with her when I chose to serve Prince Erik for the rest of my life. She came to me one day asking for help to make amends with you before her wedding. I truly thought she had changed her ways...Never did I think that she would side with rebels and try to take your life, My Queen," Dolton said. "...I thought you hated me," I said. "I never hated you. I was once blinded by love and chose a side based on emotions. I saw the err of my ways when I became assigned to you. You were a far more Noble person who always lived justly. The tragedy that urred was my fault," Dolton said as he held his forehead. "I hate myself for being so blind. If you want to exact your revenge on me, I would not me you." My hands twitched by my side. I felt an incredible urge to choke him to death but held the urge in when I saw his truly remorseful face. He came after me all this way and saved me, putting his own body in mortal peril...How could I betray Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. those feelings now? I helped Doltony down on the bed as I added on more dressings to his wounds. He was in pain and running a fever. Thankfully, there was a facet with clean cool running water and fresh rags. However, we were far from any signs of civilization and we were trapped inside without any way to escape. "Can I ask why you are no longer with His Highness?" Dolton asked. "Kaya Ouchi was aiming for my life. Prince Erik...His Highness got in the way of the de and saved me from dying even though it was for naught. I gave into my emotions and ended myself," I said. "That is what happened..." "Since all of Kaya Ouchi''s resentment was aimed towards me, I thought the best way to protect His Highness was separating myself from him...Do not misunderstand anything. I still love Prince Erik very dearly. I created a false rtionship with my friend in order to make him give up on me. Sadly, it has yet to stop him entirely," I exined. "...Your friend...do you love him?" Dolton asked. "I do," I answered him as I changed the rag over his forehead. "I thought that you looked the happiest beside His Highness and nothing could change your feelings," he said as he sat up. The next day, I was greeted by a warm sunlight and arge hand caressing my head. "Dolton?" I said as I opened my eyes to see Dolton sitting upright. "Good morning, My Queen." Dolton had made it through the most dangerous night. I hugged him out of sheer happiness. The room we were staying in had a broken lock. With some rough handling, I was able to force it open. "My Queen, your way of handling things is quite frightening," Dolton said. "The lock was already broken..." "Sure, it was..." The room happened to be one section of what appeared to be arge cabin. Dolton and I checked several rooms and found a boiler room, a small bathroom with a bathtub and toilet, a small kitchen, a firece, and some extra nkets and clothes. Outside, there were ces for hangingundry, some wash bins, and an outdoor shower. "This is quite the cabin..." I said to myself. "If it were not for being used for locking us up in, it would be a nice retreat," Dolton said from behind me. I quickly turned towards him and red at him. "You should be in bed," I said as I tried pushing him back into the room. He stood still like an unmovable wall. He suddenly pushed my head in his broad chest. "It is dangerous leaving you alone," Dolton said. I pushed on his chest until he decided to release me. "I am safe here. There is no one here but us, so take off your clothes so that I can doundry," I said. "Can I refuse?" "No." I won in the end and forced him to get some bed rest. While I made sure that he was sleeping, I did In the distance, I found that there was a suspension bridge that had been cut from the other side. We were on a high cliffside with no way out or down and the only way across the long rift was through the suspension bridge... I cannot go far with Dolton injured either. The only thing I can do now is salvage some food for Dolton and me to survive for the next few days. After doing theundry, I took a short shower and changed into the clothes I found earlier. I wore a beige buttoned up shirt with a long brown skirt. I had Dolton change into a peasant top with some brown pants. I came back with some herbs and potatoes I found beside the house. "How is your wound?" I asked Dolton. "Quite well. It is not festering. I am surprised to know that you are well versed with herbal medicine. Who knewvender could be used as disinfectant as well?" "I can make alcohol from potatoes too," I said. "...Should I go hunt a boar for food?" "I caught a wandering cow, a few chickens, and gathered some fresh eggs. I also found some spices and some cooking utensils in the cupboards. There are also some canned preserves, but I do not think they would be very healthy for you to eat." "My presence is useless..." "If you could tell me that my cooking is tasty, I would be very happy," I told Dolton with a smile. Iter made some stew with chicken, milk and some fresh herbs. "Everything is delicious," Dolton said with an ted heartfelt expression. "It tastes pretty good even though it has been a while since I made it." "Did your servants teach you how to cook?" Dolton asked. "My mother had taught my father and I ways to survive in the forest just in case we lost all of our fortune or somehow end up on a deserted ind. Cooking was just part of it..." Mother became more outgoing and shared her hobbies aboutmoner life with me and taught me various things just in case Father and I would lose our titles or wealth. "What a resourceful person..." I think he meant to say paranoid... "I am lucky to have a parent like her," I told Dolton. "I heard that your mother passed away in our first lives," Dolton said as he ced down his spoon. "I was able to save her with the knowledge I gained from our time when I became an adult. I am d that I never gave up finding a cure for her disease...It just goes to show that the future can be changed. The two of us will not die easily this time around," I said as I gathered his empty bowl. "Seconds?" "...Yes, please." Chapter 57: No Longer Queen Chapter 57: No Longer Queen It has been three days since Kaya Ouchi has left Dolton and I for dead in this ce. I woke up early in hope that I could make a sundial to keep track of time. It proved to be unnecessary when I found a well-preserved sundial made out of stone behind the cabin. Dolton was finally able to move freely around. He was not at peak condition, but he was able to do things like a short walk or helping me gather some fruits. "Are you alright to be moving around?" I asked Dolton as he picked up an axe. "If I do not strain myself, I should be fine...Even if I do, I will still be fine." "What does that mean?" I asked him. "You will take care of me if I get hurt," he said with a smile. My heart jumped slightly. "I am not that free..." I quickly turned around and took my basket of fruits. The men around me are too different and difficult to understand. Prince Erik was somewhat of an angelic beautiful man with a hot and cold personality, Garett was a beautiful man with a lot of hidden sex appeal yet also someone very kind and loving, and Dolton is a bit of a wild handsome man with a lot of charisma. I was never able to properly interact with either of them in our previous life, and now I am living with one of them. I sighed as I went back in the cabin. Since I had spare time before Dolton would recover enough for us to explore our whereabouts, I took up a hobby of making my own tea. I was also able to make my own coffee with dandelions since I was so free. Maybe I should continue this hobby when I get back as well. I wonder if the dorm supervisors would let me borrow the kitchen from time to time. "My Queen, I have brought back some firewood," Dolton said as he took off his backpack that I made from rope and some sticks lying around. "This is pretty handy for carrying a lot of things." "I thought the rope might be useful, so I saved it," I said as I began making a fire in the firece. "If you could take off your shirt now?" "...Yes," he said as he took off his shirt. The wound was healing up very nicely. At this rate, there might not even be a scar. I am d that I used scar preventing herbs a while ago. I took a look at the other cuts on Dolton''s body as well while he was unclothed. They were healing well and fairly quickly. For some reason, Dolton''s back was straighter than usual. "...Is something the matter?" I asked him. "Your back is straighter than usual." "...It tickles where you touch me." I suddenly felt a bit flushed when our gazes met at eye level for a moment. I suppose it was a bit brazen for me to touch his body without any thought of it. He was indeed a man with his towering muscr figure and sharp jawline, and I was a woman. I quickly wrapped up his wound and sat a few feet apart from him. "The wound looks good," I said. Dolton suddenly held up my wrists. "The rope marks are still here..." "My skin is a little more sensitive than others. I am using ointment on them every day, so the marks will eventually disappear. As they are now, it looks a bit hideous." Dolton suddenly lifted one of my wrists to his face and lightly pressed his lips to my bruise. "Beautiful..." As soon as he released my wrists, I shifted my gaze towards the firece. Was he talking about the fire? I woke up early before the break of dawn of the next day. Simrly, Dolton was up right after as well. "You are up early," I said towards Dolton. "I was thinking of cutting up some firewood since I could not sleep any longer. Are you always up this early, My Queen?" "I like sunrises and sunsets. I feel like the sky is the most beautiful around those times," I said. "I cannot feel sentimental about such things..." "Do you not like looking at the sky or is it the color orange that bothers you?" His eyebrows furrowed deeply as he scratched his head. I hit the nail on the head. "I don''t like the color..." Even though his hair is bright orange? "That''s too bad...It is a color that makes me feel warm, so I like it. What is your favorite color of the sky?" "...Pink," he answered. Odd color choice. "I like pink too." Seeing the improvement of Dolton''s injuries, it seems possible for the two of us to leave now. "May I ask how you found me?" I asked Dolton. "I saw you getting taken into the forest and followed after you across a suspension bridge. I lost you for a bit of time, and then I found this cabin." "Are we far from civilization?" I asked. "I don''t think we are close, but I don''t think we are far either. The biggest problem is that rift that is separating us from getting back to the Academy," Dolton said. "Should we descend the mountain if we cannot find another path?" "I doubt that the bridge was the only one made. There could be other bridges that were made too. Descending the mountain will take a lot of effort. I do not know if I could take a detour like that in my condition...My Queen, if you ever find me too burdensome, you can always leave me." "I refuse to leave you...I will not have you speaking like that again." I left the cabin after that and continued walking along the rift. There I had found another suspension bridge, but it was no good either. Another bridge was too brittle and showed signs of degrading wood nks. In the distance, there was a bridge that seemed perfect for use, but I could tell there was too much tension in the rope. It would snap from the slightest pressure. It was left untouched for a reason...Kaya Ouchi wants us to take this bridge and fall to our deaths. I grabbed a piece of my hair and cut it along with my old uniform and stuck it to the bridge. Kaya Ouchi is a rather clever person for thinking of this. However, her mistake was not making sure I was dead before she left... "There is no way across the rift...We have to descend," I exined to Dolton at the cabin. So far, it has been four days. I cannot help but be worried about my friends. Kaya Ouchi also said that Prince Erik would be gone for three days. If this is the fourth day, there will be a search party for the next three days. "We cannot wait too long here...After three days of searching, they will presume that the both of us either ran away or died together," I continued. "I understand..." The next day, we both began our trip down the mountain. We had to take in ount of not aggravating Dolton''s wound. It was wise to start the descent early. We found our way down to sea level after camping out one day in the forest. "It is the sea..." I said as I marveled at the endless body of water. "There should be a boating around the ind at least once." I quickly went to making a signal fire. N?velDrama.Org ? content. "To get a really good smoke going, we need to make the smoke a darker color. Something like paper birch bark or fatwood makes smoke turn ck. Any leaves or anything else in nature will produce white smoke and are hard to see. It will only be a matter of time before we will be found," I said as I stared into the ocean. "I have learned much from you during this experience, My Queen." "...Dolton, I am not your Queen," I said coldly. "I already..." "Dolton, you have already made an oath towards someone...Do oaths stop after death? Your true master is His Highness. Even if you die and get reborn again, that fact will not change as long as he is alive. The only time you will get another master is when your master marries another woman. That person will still not be me even if I am able to thwart Kaya Ouchi''s ns. I am not going to return to his side or be Queen anymore...I hope that you will continue to be by his side even if I am not there," I said as I turned towards him. "...You will always be my Queen. I made an oath to protect you in our first lives, but my first and foremost master will always be His Highness," Dolton said with a pained smile. "That is the way to go...Protect him well in my stead, Dolton," I said with a smile. "When we leave this spot, we will be nothing more than strangers." We were quickly found by a passing fishing boat. I had asked them to keep quiet about my presence and to take Dolton to a nearby hospital. The witch hunt will begin soon... Chapter 58: My Time [Kaya] Chapter 58: My Time [Kaya] [Kaya''s Perspective] Lovely, lovely me... I was hit by a speeding truck and transported to my favorite online novel: The Alluring Aria. The person I transmigrated as was the heroine of the said novel. The novel is about a femme fatale that captures all men in her grasp and eventually bes Queen after capturing all of the other male targets in a reverse harem ending. It is a big step up from my past life as a in and ugly middle-aged woman who did nothing but work seven days a week for minimum wage. In my original world, I was horrendously ugly with being fat and having e all over my face and never had a boyfriend in my life, but now I was a young beauty with a slim body and long ck hair that was like silk. I definitely drew the jackpot of reincarnations, so I thought that I might as well make a harem for myself since I acquired this new face and heroine status. However, things just do not seem to go my way... Every time I approached the male targets in the novel, they seemed wary of me and would always put me at a distance. If that was not all, the viiness Arielle is too different from the novel. She was supposed to be a cold and indifferent character who only cared about bing Queen and hated me for attracting the attention of her would be fianc¨¦ and other male targets. For some reason, she has not bullied me in the slightest and is apparently so loved by the people as well as all of the male targets. That is why I could only seduce second-rate men to follow me around. Despite having several men wait hand and feet on me, I am still beingpared to her. An eyesore! Anyone who is loved more than me is an eyesore! I was always being upstarted by everyone around me in my past life no matter what I have done. That is why I got rid of her at a difficult ce to leave from. There were three bridges to cross a great rift divide. One bridge was in good working condition that I used to transport her. Another bridge was in tatters and another bridge was already on the verge of snapping. After destroying the good bridge, she would probably rather take her chances on the bridge that is on the verge of snapping than take a path down a treacherous mountain. A normal Noble girl from a sheltered life probably does not have much knowledge on architectural design of bridges after all. As a result, she will fall to her death without me spilling blood on my hands. Closing loose ends feels wonderful! "Your Highness!" I carried around ca lilies in my hands and walked around the flower garden in search of him without his attendants. "You are Lady Ouchi?" he said. "Yes, I am so d that you remembered me!" I said happily. Prince Erik was my favorite character. When the online novel released an illustration of him, I fell in love. This person was so beautiful with his perfect xen blonde hair and shimmering emerald green eyes. On top of that all, he was a real Prince! "Are those ca lilies?" "I am so d that you noticed them, Your Highness. These are freshly picked ca lilies that I grew in my garden. Don''t you think they are very beautiful?" I did not really grow them. I hired people to take care of them because I know that these flowers are Prince Erik''s favorite. "...I do. They happen to be my favorite flowers," Prince Erik said. "What a coincidence! They are mine as well," I said. "Is there a reason why you like these flowers?" Prince Erik asked. "This flower is considered a symbol for resurrection and rebirth because it returns every year after winter. These flowers are sturdy as they are stunning and can withstand frosts and can regrow in cases after being cut, yet they have such short lifespans. I think it''s very beautiful in meaning," I said as I swept my hair over my ears. Prince Erik said these exact words in the novel! Of course, he would like someone like me if I am simr to him. "What a surprise...Lady Ouchi has lovely thoughts," Prince Erik said with a gentle smile. Strike! "Please call me Kaya. I am not used to being called by myst name so often," I said. "Then, Lady Kaya, I hope the the next chance for us speak longer arises," Prince Erik said as he slightly bowed his head. Iter received a beautiful opal ne with silver bordering and a white lily in the center. "Prince Erik sends his regards..." On top of the jewelry case was a beautiful light blue pewter heart pendant with silver bordering. The ne was a tad bit drab, but it had its antique elegance. Something like diamonds would have been much better, but who isining when I have received a present from Prince Erik! I quickly put on the ne and stared at myself in the mirror. I am pretty no matter what I wear! This youthful skin, long beautiful ebony hair, and hourss figure are all perfect. The only nuisance in my way has also been taken care of. It is only a matter of time before before Prince Erik is head over Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. heels for me. I saw Prince Erik at the same ce again. This time he had an attendant with him. No matter...a slight inconvenience. I walked proudly around and unted my ne. "What a beautiful ne," Prince Erik said. I wish he would just call me beautiful and not the ne... "It is my favorite piece now. Would you care to have some tea together?" I suggested. "I would hate to subject you to poison testing," Prince Erik said. I shivered when I remembered back to when I slipped poison into Arielle''s tea, but quickly got over it because there is no way that anyone could point fingers at me since there was absolutely no evidence anywhere! "I would never!" Prince Erik smiled at me. "How about I have my attendant serve tea instead?" "That is a lovely idea..." The attendant poured me a clear ss teacup with some pink colored tea. Pink... "Is it not to your liking?" Prince Erik asked. "Huh...Ah, I am just not fond of the color pink," I said as I picked up the cup. "I always thought all youngdies liked pink," Prince Erik said as he crossed his legs and drank his tea. I really hate pink... It reminds me of that person. The tea was so nd to me that I could not remember the taste. The next day, the same servant gave me a matching bracelet to the ne. I have never been happier! Usually, when things feel as though they are going great, things tend toe crashing down... I took some time to myself to check the conditions of the bridges. All three bridges were demolished. One was eroded by weather and another was one that I destroyed. Thest bridge carried a lock of pink hair and a shredded piece of uniform. The viiness Arielle Maddox really fell to her doom! Iughed triumphantly to myself. It was all way too easy! I quickly went back to the Academy using a backroad and touched up on my makeup before seeing Prince Erik again. On my way back, I saw a girl withvender colored hair crying in the arms of a pretty brte. "Grace, she is still not back..." the girl said in tears. "Where could Arielle have gone?" How fun it is to know a secret! Ah, I feel like I am on cloud nine. I checked myself in my pocket mirror. My skin appeared even more youthful and luscious than before. Sucking on the happiness of other people makes me this more beautiful! Chapter 59: It Should Have Been My Time [Kaya] Chapter 59: It Should Have Been My Time [Kaya] [Kaya''s perspective] Prince Erik''s attendant delivered me a letter saying that Prince Erik wanted to meet me. "Lady Kaya, do you mind following me to somewhere?" Prince Erik asked as he held out his hand. "Of course! I would dly follow you anywhere," I said as I took up his hand. He led me towards what seemed like an auditorium. ...Where is the romantic boat ride or fancy dinner withmb steak? "Do you like it here, Lady Kaya?" Prince Erik asked. "I suppose it is a bit nd...It does have its charm." "Most of the school balls are hosted here. When the walls are decorated, the auditorium bes an unimaginably beautiful ce. It makes the perfect ce for people to gather," Prince Erik said as he took my hand. A crowd of people from all directions swarmed in and surrounded us. "...Your Highness?" "Would you not like an audience to see your crowning moment, or are you too embarrassed in front of all these people?" Prince Erik whispered in my ears. "N-Not at all...The more people, the better it is is," I said while trying to act coy. "That''s a great quality to have..." Prince Erik released my hand and took a step back from me. He suddenly dug into his inner breast pocket. It is a ring! It is definitely a ring! I am getting proposed to! What he pulled out was a clear stic bag with a bloody knife... I gasped. "Y-Your Highness, what is this?" "Hm...You tell me. This was found in your room." That is impossible! I left the dagger at that cabin. There is no way that I could have possibly brought it back with me... Stay calm, Kaya... "Haha...Your Highness is surely one to kid." This era has not developed proper forensics yet...Even in the future, it is not mentioned. These characters are not thatplex enough for it to happen. "We recently recovered the body of Dolton Grass at the bottom of a ravine. Our coroner has determined that the cause of death was from a knife wound rather than from drowning. The weapon here is presumed to be the cause of his death from the blood found on this knife. Dolton is from a bloodline where they have a rare blood type that does not mix well with other blood types, so it was fairly easy to tell that the blood on this weapon also belonged to him." "That knife cannot be mine," I said with a chuckle. The person who loses their cool loses... "Then..." Prince Erik said as he snapped his fingers. His attendant pulled up my admission sheet. When I was first epted to this school, they made us sign our names with marks of our thumbs. I thought it was a rather advanced for a romance novel, so I purposely smudged my thumb print on the first try. After I made sure that no one was looking, I switched out the second sheet with the first one and tossed out the original. "Heh...I have not seen that since I first came here. That sure brings back memories," I said as I smiled and put my hand to my cheek. "Pull it down a little further," Prince Erik ordered. The servant pulled down the scroll and revealed my fingerprint and my signature. I thought I had destroyed that copy, but why was it here? "That can''t be..." "Have you heard that a person''s fingerprints do not change over time? The ridges that makeup a person''s fingerprints are first developed in the womb and grow proportionally as the baby grows. Permanent scarring is the only way for a fingerprint to change. In addition, even twins that are regarded as having the closest in gic makeup have different fingerprints. I thought it was a rather interesting concept, so I asked my friend if I could find out who touches my tes or cups just in case of a poisoning incident...I think my friend is better at exining the process," Prince Erik said as pointed his hand towards the crowd. The crowd gave way to a single person with a curvaceous beautiful body and long light pink hair. I really hate pink... "What a surprise to see Arielle Maddox here," I said with an empty smile. "I requested a short leave to attend to family matters and was just recently able to show my face here," she said with a smile to her face. "His Highness consulted a worry with me, so I told him about ways on how to recognize if someone has touched his things." "It was very intriguing how simple the methods were," Prince Erik said. "Latent fingerprints are made from the sweat and oil found on a person''s fingers. They are invisible to the naked eye. With some basic powder techniques or the use of chemicals, we can increase visibility," Arielle Maddox exined. "The forensic specialist was able to retrieve very good results from the test. It was found that your fingerprints were a match with your admission letter." My legs gave away. I fell to the floor and sat on my knees. used for murder... I covered my face with my hands for a moment before I looked up at Prince Erik with tears in my eyes. "Your Highness! It is all lies! I would never do anything to Dolton Grass. We were never even close to each other," I said as I tried wiping away my fake tears away. How do I get out of this situation? "...A motive...I don''t have a motive to kill Dolton. You cannot use me of a crime without a motive!" I said. Arielle Maddox held up a small blue bottle. "There are witnesses that have seen you two together with you one sidedly pushing your feelings onto him. You then used these bottles filled with aphrodisiacs to have your way with Sir Dolton Grass only to still be rejected in the end...Several rejections hurt your pride, so you killed him to save face before you moved onto His Highness," Arielle Maddox said. "Baseless lies! I had never intentionally approached Prince Erik for immoral reasons. I just happened to love gardening there!" "...In His Highness'' private garden?" "Private garden?" I gasped. In the novel, the protagonist identally stumbles into the private garden and meets Prince Erik as he was on a short walk. The protagonist was then given permission toe and go as she wished when he fell for her. I had not been granted permission to enter the garden as I pleased yet. "If that was not all, we found Lady Ouchi''s tea canister dribbled with the aphrodisiac," Prince Erik''s servant said as he held up my canister. "I had never!" I cried. "...My attendant told me that there was something suspicious about the tea, so I should not have drunk from it. It appears that he was right," Prince Erik said. Everything is going wrong... Why? Why? Why? "It''s all because of you!" I screamed as I leapt at her. I was suddenly pinned down by Prince Erik''s servant. "Stay calm!" the man above me ordered. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . My pendant and bracelet fell off my body from the impact. That woman went and picked them up. "Don''t touch that! Those were gifts!" "These are from my room...My family does special engravings on the stones that you can see in the sunlight," she said as she held them to the sunlight and revealed a white insignia in the center. "Those were gifts from Prince Erik..." "I never sent you anything," Prince Erik said coldly. I was set up...by these half-baked characters... "...I love you, Prince Erik," I told him. Prince Erik did not acknowledge my confession. He did not reject me, nor did he ept me... The torture I feel right now...I want to give them all back to you, Arielle Maddox. I am not so kind to let karma do its due before me. Chapter 60: A Long Hug Chapter 60: A Long Hug Right after Kaya Ouchi''s judgement, my legs carried me off somewhere else. I want to see him...I really want to see him! While I was crossing halls, I identally fell from trying to avoid someone. That person ended up falling with me. "Arielle?" Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. "Garett..." "Arielle, wee back," Garett said with a smile. "I am back..." I said as tears suddenly fell down my face. "Arielle!" Garett said as he quickly wiped my tears with his handkerchief in a frantic manner. "Kaya Ouchi kidnapped me and brought me to a strange cabin with my friend Dolton. I put up a strong face for him because he was injured, but I was actually really scared. I was scared that maybe I would end up causing more harm than good to Dolton...or that Kaya Ouchi woulde back with herckeys and attack us again...Most of all, I was scared that I would never be able to see you again," I said in a fluster. When I came back, I presented the evidence to Prince Erik. He helped me take care as well as hide Dolton away from Kaya Ouchi''s eyes while he received proper treatment and helped me convict her. The whole time I wanted to see Garett. My tears would not stop at all...I have be a useless woman. "What can I do to get you to stop crying?" he asked as he wiped my tears with his thumb. "M-May I make an odd request?" I asked nervously. "Of course," Garett said. "...Can I ask for a hug?" I asked. He is going to say ''no''... "Wait for a sec," he said as he swooped me up in his arms. "G-Garett?" He leapt over a railing and brought me to a grassy area behind the bushes. We were hidden from all eyes on all sides. Was he being mindful of other people? "Here," he said as he opened his arms all wide. I went in for a hug and held him tightly around his body. He wrapped his arms around me as well. "A little tighter please..." Enough so that I can barely breathe...I want to feel your presence strongly in my arms. "Ah...okay..." He squeezed me a bit tighter than before. I moved my hands up his back and lightly brought my nose to his nape. "I missed this scent..." I really liked his fresh pine scent that was coupled with freshundry detergent. He always smells nice and is tidy and clean like a forest. My heart feels so full when I am with him...I probably love him more than before. No, that is a definitely... "...Arielle, I do not mind you sniffing me, but I am a bit embarrassed right now," Garett said. "Embarrassed?" I asked. "I am sweating a bit..." He was definitely sweating a bit on closer inspection. "...Why are you sweating?" I asked. "...I heard that you hade back, so I wanted to see you sooner," Garett said with a slightly embarrassed face. "I am not going to let go," I said as I rubbed my head onto his chest. I do not care if I be a no-good woman just for now. "Arielle, it is really embarrassing...My sweat will smell," Garett said shyly. My eyes are really tired... "You never smell anything but good..." I wonder when I fell asleep. For a long time, I was not able to sleep well. I was constantly worrying about what could happen and nning ahead on how to protect myself. Thest of my thoughts was on how to get home, rather I was afraid that I would be forgotten by the people I love. I want to apologize deeply to Erik... I love Garett. I tried pushing him far away from me, only to fail miserably. Erik can live without me by his side, but I do not know if I can say the same about myself towards him or Garett. For now, I want to follow my heart for once and truly love the person in front of me. I woke up some timeter in the evening and saw that I was resting my head on Garett''s inner arm. He was asleep as well... Garett suddenly turned to his side. I touched his long eyshes and lightly touched his soft cheeks with the tips of my fingers. I think I age backwards when I am with him. The servants of the Royal Castle always told me that I was a lovely and capable young Queen. There were times where I lost my cool in front of Erik, but the number is not even close to what Garett has seen of me. I was not even cute in any of those instances. I am doomed as ady and as a normal person. Despite all of my insecurities, I still want to be with this person. Chapter 61: Simple Love Chapter 61: Simple Love Garett was away for some school matters. It was perfect timing since I wanted to discuss something important with Charlotte and Grace. "I have truly fallen for Garett," I told them over tea. Charlotte and Grace screamed off the top of their lungs. "...Was it that surprising?" I asked them. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you two would have mutual feelings!" Charlotte said. "He had an interest in you ever since you two first met." This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . I slightly choked on my drink. "Was it really that long?" I asked Charlotte. "It was obviously love at first sight from how he looked at you," Charlotte said as she touched her cheek. "Poor Garett...to be in love with such an oblivious youngdy." "Am I that oblivious?" I asked Grace. "Yes, quite so," Grace replied with her usual perky smile. "Your obliviousness is also one of your cute points, Lady Arielle." I do not need that kind ofpliment... If this Garett fell in love with me at first sight, I imagine that it was the same for the Garett in his first life as well. I do not ever remember being such a sinful beauty before...I suppose my mother is quite beautiful. There was Garett''s beautiful stalker Shia, but he did not seem very taken with her. Am I thinking to highly of myself if I call myself special to Garett? "Even though I have fallen for Garett, I still have feelings towards my first love," I said. Grace does not know that I went back in time before I married. All she thinks is that I am in love with Prince Erik even after our engagement has broken up. "I do not think Garett is after yourplete heart...He just wants to love you as yourself. I think it is fine for now," Grace said. Myck of sincerity and indecisiveness will end up hurting them both. "I am considering them both seriously..." "...If that does not end well, just date both of them," Charlotte said. "Where is the sincerity in that?" I asked Charlotte. "Arielle, out of everyone in the whole wide world, I think you deserve the most happiness," Charlotte said. "You have suffered enough under those intense feelings and memories." I held my hand over my heart. I can never let go of my feelings for Erik, neither can I stop loving Garett. This might be true even if I end up loving and marrying someone else. They both made me who I am today, but the person I want to respond to is... "I want to love Garett with my all," I said to much of my embarrassment. "With time!" Charlotte said as she hugged my head into her chest. Grace joined in the hug with us andforted me greatly. Iter went to visit Dolton''s hospital room with yellow daisies. "My Lady!" Dolton said as he quickly sat up. "You could have stayed down," I said with a small chuckle. "I came to brighten your room with some flowers." "I could not possibly...Are you only here to deliver flowers?" Dolton asked. "I came to speed up your recovery with some short conversation as well," I said as I sat beside his bedside. His face brightened up immediately like he was an overgrown child. "I was getting rather tired of seeing the same faces." "We lived in the cabin together for four days...I guess that you would get tired of me as well," I said as I ced a handkerchief underneath my right eye. "I could never get tired of seeing you, My Lady!" Dolton quickly replied. "That''s good," I said with a smile. "My Lady, I am sorry for not being there while you passed judgement onto Lady Kaya Ouchi." "...No, I needed you to be gone to convict Kaya Ouchi of a heavier crime. If she is able to be absolved of her crimes, we can narrow the people backing her up and convict all of those people together...I need to apologize in making you a dead person to your family," I said as I lowered my head. "My Lady, there is no reason to lower your head!" Dolton said. "I already had Prince Erik exin everything to your parents, but I cannot apologize enough for your broken friendships and the hardships that you will encounter one day because of me...I am an awful person," I said. Dolton held my scrunched-up fists with his left hand and smiled gently towards me. "I had already died once before. If you give me my second name, I would be very happy..." "Vance...It means brave. When I was with you, I could be brave...When I cannot be brave anymore, please be brave for me," I said. Dolton caressed my cheek with his right hand and tapped his forehead against mine. "Vance...It''s a lovely name." Dolton used my dagger to cut off his long-braided piece of hair and handed it to me. "I would like you to keep a reminder of how I was once Dolton, My Lady. In the case I ever lose my body, or I fall before you, please dump this in my grave," Dolton said. "When you take this from me, I will truly be Vance." "...I ept," I said as I took the orange hair piece from him. "This reminds me of when you cut off a lock of your hair when you prepared it on the bridge," Vance said with a small chuckle. "Was it that surprising?" "I have seen many women fret over their hair like their lifeline, but I have never seen someone so daringly cut off a piece of their hair." I began peeling an apple for him. "It''s not like I did not have any qualms about my actions...I thought it was necessary to give up a little of something I found important for my cause. My mother would be devastated to see my hair go away, so I tried cutting off as little as possible," I said as I handed him the freshly cut slices. "...With Lady Kaya Ouchi gone now, will you return to His Highness'' side?" "She is not gone...She will certainly return soon if she has powerful people backing her up. Even then, I do not n on returning," I said. "Why?" "...Why?" "There will never be a person more suitable than you to be Queen..." "Every youngdy in this country wants to be Queen. More than half of them have trained all of their lives to be proper people to stand by His side...I think you are a bit biased since you have known me for some time," I said coldly. "You are the onlydy I know who spends her pastime reviewing war strategies andw..." I saw a bouquet of flowers to Vance''s right. "Those flowers? Did someonee here recently?" "His Highness came by to inform me of what went on the other day. It is a bit disturbing to wake up and see flowers from a male, so I ced them on my right. I sleep on my left and knew that you would arrive with flowers, so I kept this spot open." "Are you calling flowers from His Highness disturbing?" "Flowers from a beautifuldy have a special ce in a Knight''s heart," Vance said jokingly. "Aren''t you just the charmer?" I replied lightheartedly. "...Have you fallen out of love for His Highness?" Vance asked me seriously. He just won''t let this go... "I still love him as much as I did back when we were married." "You two were the perfect couple...I just find it strange that you would not want to restore your rtionship with him. His young self seemed very concerned earlier when he interrogated my rtionship with you during those days we spent together at the cabin." "It was a regr rtionship..." "His Highness did not ept such a vague response and asked that I tell him in detail everything that happened with a timetable." "That does not sound too terrible?" "It is easy for you to say because you were not on the receiving end of his res." "If he was ring at you, he must be fond of you." "Has he ever red at you?" "Never," I answered. "Never, huh?" Vance looked very distressed as he said that. "...What Prince Erik has for me is just a passing fancy. He finds that my action of breaking off the engagement rather amusing. It will be a matter of time before he gets tired of me if I do not give him new content." "You seem very intent on denying his feelings for you...He is clearly in love with you." "You can tell?" "Men are simple creatures, My Lady." "I will not respond to his feelings." "...Is it someone else then?" "I cannot deny that either...I thought that no one else could have a ce in my heart. A simple man with a humble background is still better than a simple man with aplex background. I am very happy with where I am." "I see..." "I hope that you will get well soon, Vance," I said as I waved him goodbye. Chapter 62: My Mistakes [Vance] Chapter 62: My Mistakes [Vance] [Vance''s Perspective] I watched her beautiful figure slowly recede away. With such thin shoulders, I am surprised that she can even hold up a sword... "Maybe you should have also chased after her," Gavin Lord of The Church Sect said as he came in and sat down. The presence of the priest in training startled me a bit from how quietly he snuck up on me. "I have decided on the name Vance," I said. I was to choose my new name and get adopted to a new family through The Church. Lady Arielle chose this strange person as her trusted representative. "She is on the market, so why not go for it?" Gavin Lord asked. I tried changing the topic, but it seems that my love life is much more interesting. "I cannot..." "Even though you gave her a lock of your hair? I hear that Knights will often give their most special person their prized possession or a lock of their hair to remember them by..." "...I simply want to be remembered by her," I said as stared and admired her yellow flowers. Lady Arielle was my first love for both of my lives. She probably will always be for the rest of this life too. I first met Lady Arielle when we were both three. She does not remember this at all. Neither did I until I was leapt backwards with all of my memories intact. The first person who lent their hand out towards me and opened up my heart was Lady Arielle. "Your hair color is like the sun...It is really beautiful!" she told me. She appeared during my time of loneliness like an angel with her soft pink hair, lovely light blue eyes, and white dress. The memory of her faded as I grew up. I met Lady Arielle again when I saw her with Prince Erik. She was beautiful then as well. She took my heart by storm. While holding such wrongful feelings, I felt like I was breaking until I met Lady Kaya. Lady Kaya said something simr along the lines of what Lady Arielle said to me before. As I got to know her, I found that Lady Kaya was quite lovely in the way she gave her heart all to love. I ended up falling for her instead. For someone who just abandoned their first love, she was a breath of fresh air. However, she led me astray by making me wrongfully hate Lady Arielle over a misunderstanding. I expected to lose my position beside Prince Erik for my rudeness in picking the side against his fianc¨¦e. I did not lose my spot for some reason. The very person that I showed malice towards vouched for my abilities as a Knight. I could not understand why Lady Arielle would vouch for me back then. I was ipetent and naive to have believed in the lies that she was a cruel woman because of Lady Kaya. Despite knowing that Lady Kaya told me lies about Lady Arielle''s demeanor, I still chose to be with Lady Kaya because I thought that I liked her and could change her into being a better person. In the end, Lady Kaya left me too when she realized that I could notfort her in the bedroom...due to my selective impotence towards her. The doctors were unable to determine whether or not there was anything wrong with me physically since I was healthy in the mornings. It was just when it came to bedroom matters that I was unable to give her what she desired, so she went to other men. I felt guilty about never being able to satisfy her ever since then. When she approached me that fateful day and asked for a favor, I let her in the Castle without knowing that she would cause harm to both of my Masters. Even though my feelings for Lady Arielle have returned, I am thest person who is able to profess my love to her now... "I am alright with just watching over her," I told him confidently. I could neverpare to Prince Erik no matter how many times I am reborn. That is the same for any This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . man she falls for. If she were to fall for him, he would have to be someone extraordinary to match with her. That is why I am fine if the person she fell in love with was still not me. "Men are simple creatures, huh?" Gavin Lord said. "You are probably one of the mostplicated men I have ever known. That goes for anyone involved with that person." Chapter 63: Future Chapter 63: Future The school was going underway towards the annual festival held by the school. The residents of the ind that were grateful for our reforms towards the sewage issues and safety agreed to open up some stalls as well. I asked Garett to apany me to a cafe with a half off cake deals for couples. "My mother and father areing this year," I told Garett. "That is great news. I am happy for you, Arielle," Garett said. "I was thinking of informing them that we have gone steady in our rtionship," I said quietly. Garett began coughing softly into his fist. "Come again?" Garett asked. His face waspletely red. "...Was I mistaken?" I asked. "A-Arielle, I do think of you fondly, and it would be great for us to advance in our rtionship...It is just that meeting of the parents would that not lead to talks of marriage?" Garett asked. Marriage...I suppose that since we are Nobles of marriageable age, there is only one route for two young people that are seeing each other. "My parents surely will not pressure us into anything we are not ready for. We have not done anything that we should be ashamed about either. If my feelings for you are too heavy, please tell me now. I will apologize and step back into my boundaries," I said. "...Come to think of it, neither of us have properly confessed our feelings for each other. This may be the reason for the vagueness in our rtionship," Garett said. "I suppose that I should be the first to confess my feelings, Garett," I said seriously. "That is a job left to men usually..." "In this situation, I am clearly the one who is out to court you first...Should I go to your parents'' home and ask for permission to be steady with you?" I asked. "Courting? I do not recall being courted by you, Arielle," Garett pondered. "I have no other words to describe my time with you. I have made you go on a date with me, I entered your room, I made you sleep in the same bed as me, and I embraced you with your permission...If that is not courting, I do not know what is," I said. "Some of that was not even because of you...So, you were aware of your actions then?" "Charlotte told me that I was subconsciously courting you by my actions. I have reflected and now I would like to apologize for being oblivious then," I said. "Arielle, it only counts if it was intentional..." "I see." That makes sense. "I would greatly appreciate it if you just learn from your mistakes," he said as his eyebrows scrunched up slightly. "Mistakes lie with experiencing those things with someone I am not intimate with. It is no problem if we are on an intimate level," I said half-jokingly. "Oh? How about we perform intimate acts right after our meal? We will surely work off the calories we ingested earlier much easier together than when we are apart," Garett suggested. I was not expecting that kind of response... I thought for sure that Garett would give me an innocent blush. I did not think that I would receive such a strong response from him. Now, I am the one blushing. "...Please forgive me for being careless with my words," I said to clear the hot air. "As long as you are self-reflecting," Garett said with a slightly teasing voice. It is not like I was unknown to physical contact from my memories with my husband. It is just that I was probably Garett''s first lover. I should treat him with more tact and adjust my pace to his. "I am," I said as I sipped my tea. I stared at his beautiful long fingers as he graced his cake with his beautiful fork skills. I do not think I would particrly mind if he wanted to do intimate things with me... "Arielle...I have something I have to ask," Garett said. Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. "Yes?" I said as I snapped my eyes back to his. "You are still in love with that guy, right?" Garett asked. I twitched slightly. Could I ever forget him? Garett looked as if he shriveled slightly. "...I knew the answer already, but your reaction hurt me a little," Garett said. That was a bit too blunt... "My apologies..." "If you like Prince Erik more, why choose me?" Garett asked. "...When I think of the future, I want to be by your side. It may appear that I may be acting on my feelings right now, but I simply want to share my time with you for as long as you will allow me to," I said with a smile. "Maybe not now...I hope that your feelings will change to the point where you consider me the most important person in your life," Garett said. I want that too... Chapter 64: Festival Chapter 64: Festival The annual festival was a three day event. My mother and father would be attending on the first day. During the time, it would stretch over the weekend and over a holiday at the beginning of next week. I asked to meet Garett in the morning with a bit of time before they would let in tourists. For one hour, the stalls were specifically for the students. "Did you wait long?" I asked Garett who was standing at our meeting spot twenty minutes before our supposed meeting time. "I tried to get here earlier, but curling my hair took longer than usual." Charlotte and Grace helped curl my hair slightly and added arge red bow on the back of my head. "It was a good thing that I arrived earlier," Garett said as he brushed his fingers through the ends of my hair. My heart began beating very fast. "The men around here would have swarmed around you if I were not here." "D-Does this style look good on me?" I asked as I looked up at him expectingly. He avoided my gaze for some reason. "...Exceedingly well," he mumbled. I am so d that I changed my hair for today. "Thank you..." We soon began walking side by side around the stalls. Garett was a bit silent for the most part, but I find his silence a bit charming in its own way. If I had anything I wanted toin about, I wanted to hold his hand the whole time. It is not like I never held a hand before. The act of asking to hold his hand was a bit embarrassing to Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. the me even though I was once married before. Being a teenager again is a rather strange feeling. I feel like I could almost be overwhelmed by my feelings alone. The number of things that I want only continue increasing. I know that I am being cherished, but I want more... Before I knew it, I was reaching my hand out towards Garett''s hand. "Lady Arielle!" a female called out to me. "Yes?" I answered as I quickly snapped my hand back behind my head. Was I in trouble with the disciplinarymittee for wanting to hold Garett''s hand? A group of female underssmen quickly surrounded me. "Lady Arielle, is this man bothering you?" one of them whispered. Bothering? "What makes you say that?" I asked them. "We saw you walking beside him in silence with a distressed look on your face for some time," another one said. I cannot exactly say that I was perplexed about how to go about holding Garett''s hand...I would die from the embarrassment. "H-He is my significant other," I said in a soft voice. Garett seemed pretty happy from my promation seeing as though he had covered up his mouth to hide his smile. "No way!" the underssmen said in unison. "His sses are thick and in!" an underssman said. "His hair is ck andcks style!" another underssmanined. Garett had the same face as Prince Erik, but the difference in treatment from our peers were like night and day. I could say that his face was refined and the bridge of his nose was straight, or his eyshes were long and full, or his skin was white and beautiful like porcin. For some reason, I did not want these girls knowing Garett''s good points so easily. "...He is the most handsome person to me," I said to much of my own embarrassment. "It is not often that we get to walk around together at a festival, so can we have a bit of time alone?" "We are very sorry to disturb you two," they said as they went away as if they understood the underlying messages. "...Should I change my sses?" Garett asked as he was about to take his lenses off. "No!" I quickly said as I pushed his sses back on. "Alright..." Compared to his extravagant appearance, only his sses were thick and outdated. They were useful in deterring women. This restless feeling in my heart...I do not want anyone eyeing him. "...If only you were uglier," I mumbled to myself. "Did you want to date someone uglier?" Garett asked. "That is not what I meant," I said as I waved my hands in the air. Garetttched onto one of my hands andced his fingers with mine. Ah, his hand... "Too bad that you are mine," he said as he pulled me along with me trailing behind him. It is better if less people know about his good points...then I could have him all to myself. Garett and I went to the front entrance to meet up with my parents. "...It is a bit sudden, but I would like permission to continue to see your daughter," Garett asked as he lowered his head. "My!" my mother said excitedly. My mother seems fine with our rtionship...Well, she always had a soft spot for Garett. "Amalie, should we get the wedding invitations ready?" Father asked as he grabbed my mother''s shoulders. "I have had them ready for three years already, Darling," Mother replied. "The wedding hall I booked for two years in advance will not go to waste," Father said. "...I am very sorry for my parents," I whispered to Garett. "...Somehow, I expected this much," Garett said. My parents had gone back into their honeymoon phase and were now a couple that were overbearingly in love with one another despite their not very expressive faces. "Arielle...Amalie, I have to go away on business," Father said. "So soon?" I asked. "It is imperative that I leave now," Father said as he pecked my forehead. He went over to my mother and caressed her cheeks. I grabbed Garett''s arm and turned him towards the cotton candy stall as my parents shared their intimate alone time together. "Take care of my wife and daughter," Father said as he tapped Garett''s shoulder. My father quickly made his exit with a crowd of servants. "Is there any ce that you would like to go to?" I asked my mother. "I want some waffle cones with pistachio ice cream," Mother said. We got my mother some ice cream. Her cold expression quickly melted after eating one bite of ice cream. She looked as if she aged backwards from how happy she was from eating. Garettughed a little from the side. "You are the spitting image of your mother," Garett said softly. "Are you making fun of me?" I asked him. "No, you two make the same cute expressions when eating sweets," Garett said sweetly. He called me cute... That word could make any woman way past the age of being cute fall to her knees. I never thought that I could be called that word ever again. After going around the stalls and hitting up all of the sweets departments, my mother insisted on a tour around the school and then around town again. The townspeople still remembered my mother quite clearly and told her that she had not aged since the day she left the ind. Garett seemed rather tired from being dragged around by my mother, so I had the both of them rest on a bench while I got them some lemonade from a cart. My father went to pick my mother up soon afterwards. My mother wanted to talk to me onest time alone before she would leave with him. Does she disapprove of my rtionship with Garett? "Arielle...Garett is a nice boy," Mother said. "Yes, I agree!" I gave a sigh of relief. "I can tell that he really cares about you and wants what is best for you. That is all I could ever ask for as a mother. However, that boy is deeply connected to the Royal Family. Anyone that gets involved with that family will always end up hurt..." "Why do you say that, Mother?" My mother gave a pained smile. In that moment, I learned everything I needed to without needing her to say anything. People that know about pain the most are the ones that first experience it themselves... "Are you alright, Arielle?" Garett asked me. I silently went to his side and lightly pulled on Garett''s sleeve. "...Can you hold me?" I asked. "Of course." I was brought to his strong and sturdy embrace. I wrapped my arms around his body. Garett never asked me about anything. He held me for as long as I wanted to despite the number of people that passed us by. Chapter 65: Ridiculous Play Chapter 65: Ridiculous y It was finally the third day of the festival. "Cut!" "Did I do something wrong?" I asked the screenwriter. "...Lady Arielle, do you not notice where your hands are?" I looked up above me and saw that my hands were both on the male lead''s mouth. This was the scene where the cursed Princess would receive a kiss from the lips of her Prince to break the spell. This was the second tost scene where I would have to appear apart from the wedding scene. I had messed up this scene at least twenty times because I did not want to kiss the male lead. I quickly removed my hands. "I am very sorry...I keep on subconsciously blocking his lips," I said as I lowered my head slightly. "We were the ones in need of your help," the screenwriter said. I was ying the role of the Princess. The original actress had fell off the stage during the rehearsal and was deemed unable to continue by her doctor. I thought it was a shame since I loved the show on the first day. The lines were rather so simple that I happened to remember all of the lines. Unfortunately, that brought this situation upon myself. "Just think of me as your lover when we do the scene," the male lead said. I have not even done such an intimate scene with my lover yet. Garett apanied me through the rehearsals. He seemed to be rather in touch with the script from how his eyes never left the pages. I had changed into a long dark rose colored dress and had my makeup and hair braided prettily with small white flowers, but he has yet to say anything. I am not even sure if he has seen me in this outfit yet since we started. Suddenly, Prince Erik appeared. "Sorry, I amte," Prince Erik said. "What is Prince Erik here for?" I asked the male lead. "...I am actually the sub-lead. His Highness is the real lead of this y. I filled in for the first day because His Highness was busy that day." Wait...what? "Am I to do this y with him?" I asked as I grabbed the male sub-lead''s cor. "Does this include all of the action scenes and the kiss scene?" "Y-Yes...I thought you were aware," he replied. "...I quit," I said as I pulled the crown off my head. "Please do not say that!" the male sub-lead said as he grabbed my shoulders. "I refuse!" I said once more. "...Do you really hate me that much?" Prince Erik asked. "As I said before, I would like to avoid misunderstandings..." "It''s fine, Arielle," Garett said with a smile. I was slightly taken aback by how professional it seemed. He was back to his Librarian smile days. Garett suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist. He never shows public affection like this. "You can share your romantic scenes with His Highness." Is it really alright to act this bold in front of His Highness? N?velDrama.Org ? content. Actually, this is the first interaction that I have seen between the two of them since my jump to the past...They are really quite simr when put in the same room. What am I doing? I am marveling at the fact that these cousins are finally interacting with each other rather than be worried about my former fianc¨¦ and my current lover talking to each other.... "...Um, Garett?" "...I will forgive any sweet nothings that you say to each other...as long as you repeat them all when we are alone," Garett whispered in my ears before letting me go. My ears were my sensitive point. I felt my body shiver slightly from the slight brush of warm air over my ears. Was this his way of showing jealousy, marking his territory, or both? "...How wonderful it is to be her first man then," Prince Erik said. Come again? "It is all about being herst that determines if you were meant to be a stepping stone for something better," Garett said curtly. G-Garett... "The dream of every youngdy is to marry a Prince. An attainable dream is always better than second best," Prince Erik said with the brightest smile I had ever seen before. "That is wrong...Every young girl''s dream is to be a princess. The dream of a woman is to be Queen with or without a husband. If you can only boast about your pedigree, does that not mean that you fail in all other aspects as a man and as a person?" Garett asked. I could only smile bitterly from the awkward situation. The y was going under its well quite well despite there one being one rehearsal with the actual male lead. The first scene had me change into a light blue ball gown dress with my hair tied high up into a ponytail and dance with Prince Erik who only goes by the name of Prince in the story. "...My fianc¨¦e dances well," Prince Erik whispered. "...I do not deserve your praise, Your Highness," I said in a cold tone. "As your former fianc¨¦e, I should be able to do this much." "My fianc¨¦e hates me for much some reason...Could I ask why?" Prince Erik asked. "Do you go up to all of the people that hate you and ask them why they feel that way towards you, Your Highness?" I asked. "Only the really pretty ones..." Our dance ended there and we parted from each other. Princess Aura is to run away afterwards. She is caught by the Prince just outside the ball. The curse ced on the Princess makes her fall into deep sleep one hour past midnight until six in the evening. Her parents had been very strict of her and had not allowed her to leave her room out of worry that she would hurt herself. The Princess wanted to experience the ball her siblings enjoyed one night while her parents'' vision on her were light on today of all days. "...When can I see you again?" [Prince] "This will be the first andst time, Kind Sir. I must be going home now." [Princess Aura] "Why make it ourst? I believe it was fate that intertwined us today." [Prince] Prince Erik was supposed to hug me right after saying that. Instead, I kicked his shin and made him fall to his knees on reflex when he came close to me. The audience was rather shocked at my improv. I was too...I just wanted to avoid a scene where we would hug. I did not mean to kick him in the shin. "...I only came for a night out. You must not get involved with a dangerous woman like me. You might just get cursed." [Princess Aura] "I am a Prince. There is no kind of danger that I cannot handle." [Prince] "Get me the ingredients I require..." [Princess Aura] Princess Aura did not believe in true love. She believed that she would have better chances at breaking the curse off on her own through potions. However, her curse prevented her from gathering ingredients herself. She would ask the Prince to fetch her ingredients thinking that he would use his people at his disposal. What Prince really did was retrieve all of the materials himself no matter if it meant that he would have to fight off packs of wolves or monsters in the forest. Princess Aura would remain unknown to the situation since Prince would always return to her unharmed at the same time and tell her various stories from his adventures. She eventually grew fond of him as well but was unaware of what to call what that feeling was. One day, Prince came back with serious injuries and did note at the arranged meeting time. Princess Aura decided to go around the castle the next day and was informed that Prince was gravely injured from trying to get thest ingredient to her potion by himself. From the servants, she learned that all of Prince''s ventures were done by himself and that all of his injuries were hidden well underneath his clothes. Princess Aura then visits Prince''s sickbed. "...How could you enter such perilous areas without your guards or any worry for your safety? You could have any woman in this kingdom, yet you choose a woman who is unable to witness the sun. There is no bigger buffoon than you." [Princess Aura] I suddenly stopped. The next words I was supposed to say were: ''I do not like you...I love you. If I were to benefit from your pain, I would rather sleep forever''. I cannot say that I love him to Prince Erik. The audience soon became worried. Even if this is a y, I cannot say it. If I do, it will no longer be an act anymore... My tears naturally fell from my eyes. "...If I were to benefit from your pain, I would rather sleep forever...There is no meaning to seeing the sun without you underneath it with me. This curse of mine is only mine to bear alone...I am sorry for everything, my dear Prince. I hope that you will forget about me and fall in love with someone new." [Princess Aura] That is my deepest wish... I exited the scene to get my makeup touched up and prepare for the next scene. Princess Aura is then to release the hand of her injured Prince and returns to the castle in order to inform them to stop Prince from ever seeing her again as she chooses to sleep forever and let the curse kill her in her sleep. The Prince wakes up from his deep sleep in three days to find Princess Aura. He was stopped at the front gates by her trusted Knights. Prince would then fight against the Knights and go up into Princess Auras room where he would give the kiss that would break the spell. It seems that Garett argued on my behalf behind the scenes to change the scene where I would get kissed into the scene where I would just receive the potion that would break my spell. Thank you, Garett... I wonder if it is okay to change the script even more so after so many things were already changed...Princess Aura was supposed to be a lovely selfish girl. She changed into someone with a strong personality and a person with a guilty heart. Chapter 66: End of Play Chapter 66: End of y I wasid in a bed of flowers with my handsced over my body. A perfect corpse? "...You are an even bigger idiot than I am." [Prince] "The line is, ''There you are, my fair Princess''," I whispered to Prince Erik. "You big idiot!" [Prince] "...Stop calling me an idiot," I said as I pinched his hands. "You should not change the lines so much." "You were the first one to change them. I was looking forward to hearing those lines from you," Prince Erik whispered. The confession scene...Is he looking for revenge? "I wanted to give you the whole world if I could! You asked for simple things to which I did my best to procure. My injuries were from my own simple mistakes. None of them were from you. Even if they were, I would dly ept them if it meant the end of your curse...You need to awaken. What possible future could we have together if you keep your eyes closed forever?" [Prince] I was fed the empty bottle and awoke from my slumber. I sat upright following the scene. "...Why did you awaken me, Prince? I nned on sleeping forever. If I sleep forever, I can avoid hurting you, myself, and anyone else. Only...Only I need to suffer alone." [Princess Aura] Prince Erik grabbed me by my shoulders. "...If you suffer, I will be in the most pain" [Prince] "That is a lie," I said not as Princess Aura but as myself. I suddenly covered my mouth. That was the wrong line. I answered as myself and not as the character I was ying. ...What is the next line anyways? It is no good...I cannot think of anything. "...I have fallen so deeply for you that there is no way that I can live without you. If you hate me, tell me now so that I will leave you alone." [Prince] My tears fell down my face once more. "...There...There is no way that I could ever say that hate you." [Princess Aura] When I said that, I wonder if I was speaking as Princess Aura or myself... Prince Erik''s face suddenly came closer. He is going to kiss me... The curtains came down at that moment. Behind the curtain, my left hand was covering my own mouth a few centimeters from where Prince Erik''s mouth was. "...I wasn''t going to kiss you," Prince Erik said quietly. It was dark behind the scenes. I was unable to see Prince Erik''s face, but I imagined a disappointed facial expression on him. I quickly leapt out of bed and quickly went to change costumes. The wedding scene urred afterwards and the ending of the y was reached. I was allowed to wear one of the Princess'' costume gowns around as a reward for my hard work. Some of the makeup artists touched up on my makeup and braided my hair very nicely and added small flower decorations again. I want to see Garett... "Lady Arielle, your Prince is waiting," the screenwriter said. "Who could that be?" I asked him. In the distance, someone with long slightly curled ck hair and the Prince''s white costume with a red cape from the wedding scene appeared. I gasped at the stunning man who had removed his sses for the first time in all of the years I knew him. If it were not for the color of his hair or the style of his hair, he would be the spitting image of Prince Erik. The image of him walking towards me with a bouquet of red roses was like a scene from a painting. "It was a magnificent stage," Garett said as he handed me the bouquet. My face felt very flushed as I took up the bouquet and tried to hide my face behind them. "Thank you very much...Y-You look very handsome..." I covered my mouth slightly from embarrassment. Why did I stutter? I cannot find the words to say anything... "Of all the dresses you wore, this one suited you the most," Garett said. I may die from his sweet talking. "...Can you see without your sses?" "Not very well...I was told that my sses do not suit the clothes I am wearing," he said as he touched his chest pocket. "I also have you..." "What does that have to do with any..." "If you lend me your hand, you can lead me wherever you want," he said with a smile. I reached my hand into his pocket and pushed his sses on his face. "...It is better for you to see." "...Too bad." If Princess Aura had a Prince like Garett, she would have died from his beauty much faster than if the curse had killed her... With our costumes, it was a bit difficult to avoid the attention of other people. Garett showed me to a faraway spot with a small row boat with seating for two people. "A boat?" "I prepared it a little beforehand. I thought that a view of the fireworks from the ocean would be a nice touch to end the festival with." "That is a lovely idea," I said as I joined him in the dainty boat. "The stars are lovely today..." I cannot think about the scenery when I have something weighing on my mind... I grabbed his sleeve. "...I didn''t...I didn''t kiss him," I said nervously. "I thought you might be bothered by earlier and avoided asking because you thought I may have done it and you did not want to know." "...You can let go." Why is his voice so cold? "Why..." I did not even kiss Prince Erik... Garett pulled my hand up towards his face and gave a sigh. "Thank goodness you did not start bleeding..." Was I gripping that hard? "...I am always making you worry." Garett smiled at me as he grabbed my hands. "I was always wondering if I was second best to you...or maybe you would be happier with him," he said as he caressed my cheek. "Were you with me because we had the same face? Was it easier with me because I was not a Prince? What if you wanted to keep me by you because you felt safe around me? All of that does not matter because...I love you. I love you, Arielle." I feel the same way. "I...I..." Garett pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. "You are not obliged to say anything...I am just a selfish man who desires to stay by your side even if I am not the first person you will think of. I love you that much." I love this man...I can definitely tell that I was in love with him at this moment. The first andst person I would think of had begun to change. The person in front of me is all I can think of... I leaned upwards slightly and kissed his cheek. The fireworks were suddenly shot up into the air. I began marveling at the sight of the ocean reflecting the fireworks in the air. On a night like this, it was a first for the ocean to be so calm and still for once. With the beautiful array of colors and beautiful sight, this was probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen before. I had missed this scene when I was with Erik in my room in my first life. "It''s very beautiful," I said happily. "Yes, it is...I''m d that I took you out here," Garett said as he gripped my hand. Garett caressed my cheeks with his slightly cold fingers. I wondered why his face seemed closer than usual or why his warm breath seemed so close. Everything seemed to fade away when I felt a familiar sensation go over my lips. What just happened? The sensation touched my lips yet again along with his hands on my hips. "W-Wait..." I felt as if I was going to be overwhelmed by various sensations. I was given no room toin as he continued pressing his lips against mine. My mind continued going nk as the number of kisses increased in length and number. Before I knew it, I was viewing the stars from underneath Garett with my back to the bottom of the boat. His sses had fallen off somewhere and revealed his beautiful eyes in the moonlight. More than the stars, I was more interested in looking into his emerald green eyes. I reached my hands out and pulled him towards me into a tight embrace. An overwhelming warmth covered my whole body. I felt incredibly happy with him hugging me so closely. If only we could stay here longer... After our extra long boat ride, the tension slowly fell. Garett helped me up by my hand and escorted me Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. back tond. My legs felt incredibly wobbly for various reasons. I fell onto Garett''s chest and identally damaged the tip of my nose. "...I''m sorry," I said as I covered my nose. Garett seemed to chuckle slightly to his side. "No, I am sorry." He suddenly picked me up in his arms. "Eek!" "We need to return these costumes soon," Garett said with a smile. "Y-Yes," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt embarrassed about earlier and buried my head deeply into his chest. I had regained the use of my legs some time afterwards. "Your lipstick has nearly all disappeared," the makeup artist said. I suddenly felt very embarrassed. "Ah, that is because...I drank water," I said as I quickly ran away. Garett is such a stupid kissing demon... Chapter 67: Chicken Chapter 67: Chicken I spent all night and the next few days thinking about what happened in that boat. Garett seemed rather indifferent as ever. Sometimes I forget that we are dating from how standoffish he usually acts. The kisses were so good...No, it was a rather dangerous situation when I was pushed down halfway. It was a bit of a surprise for Garett to be so aggressive. I did not exactly hate it... Was it because of the costume or the heat from the fireworks that drove him crazy? More than that...I must be crazy because I wanted more to happen. My lust from my first life has just gotten worse with my second start. I had already tasted the forbidden fruit during my first cycle. Now, I want to go further with someone who is clearly new at having rtionships. I went to church early in the morning in hope that my mind would be cleansed. "You are early today, Lady Arielle," Gavin Lord said. "I am experiencing some troubles that I thought some time alone would help me sort through them," I told him. "If there is anything that I can help with, you could always talk to me," he offered. "I could not possibly..." "Do not be worried...I have all sorts of peoplee to me for advice or just a pat on the back in the right direction. Justy all your problems on me. Your heart will be much lighter if you do," Gavin said as he ced his hand over his heart. I might as well... "...I...I have a lust demon!" I said. Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. I was suddenly escorted to the back room with some tea and snacks. "Lust demon, you say?" Gavin asked as he rubbed his head. "Every time we talk, I feel as though you give me a new experience each time. Is this a trial? Where does this lust demone from?" "I am in a rtionship with Garett Alvin." "It was not a rumor then..." "Rumor?" "Someone was saying that you were being forced into a rtionship with a very in man. I never thought it would be Sir Garett. I suppose he did help you that time with Lady Kaya Ouchi..." "Garett is far from in," I argued. "Really?" "He is tall...his body has rather good proportions despite his sedimentary lifestyle... his hair is always neat and shiny...his posture is very straight, his eyes are like glittering emeralds, he walks in a perfectly straight line, and heughs in the most elegant way. There is no way to describe him other than as the most perfect man," I argued. "Forgive me for speaking a bit frankly...If he makes you have a lust demon, he is not the perfect man then." "He is the perfect man...I am the one who is lustful." "It is my first time hearing a youngdy continuously call herself lustful...I cannot deny that it puts a damper on my emotional state." "I am very sorry..." "Lady Arielle, I think it is alright to pursue romance in modesty. These things are best spoken to your partner as it involves him." "I should just hit him with my feelings," I said as I stood up. "In modesty!" Gavin yelled from a distance. He was right... I want to touch Garett, and I want him to touch me... I just need to put it into words. I am an adult woman trapped inside of a sixteen-year old''s body. Putting things into words are easy! I saw Garett walking to the Library with a book in his hand. I came at him from the front and pulled him behind some bushes. "A-Arielle?" Now that I had pulled him aside, my heart is racing ever so fast and it is incredibly hard to breathe. "...P-Please...pet me," I breathed out. I tried to close my mouth. Why did I say that! "Ah, alright..." Garett ced a hand over my head and rubbed my head gently as if I were a newborn kitten. I was incredibly embarrassed but happy at the same time. All of my impure thoughts seemed to melt away, while I watched Garett smile innocently. I found myself thinking of tough topics not muchter... I always found the time where people turn eighteen to be a bit odd. It was the time period where one would see themselves getting paired up with an engagement partner the most. Those with higher ranks usually get engaged in early childhood or by the time of theiring-of-age ceremony. Surprisingly, neither Charlotte or Grace have been engaged since they have turned sixteen. Their families are kind enough to not pressure them either. With their looks and wits, they could easily be Queen if they wanted to. Queen? That is right...Prince Erik is the most popr bachelor in the kingdom. King Arundel will host arge birthday party for Prince Erik and invite alldies of noble blood and eligible youngdies to the party for Prince Erik to have his pick. I have a few mixed feelings about it, but I have already decided to be with Garett in this life. That reminds me that Garett is going to turn eighteen on the same day as well. Should I call it a blessing in disguise that all women will have their eyes on Prince Erik? Either way...I can only see a road that ends with at least one or all of us getting engaged. A married life with Garett sounds nice, but I have yet to meet his secretive family. I am starting to wonder if Garett is a secret love child or all of his family had been silenced or something crazy like that. It is my fault for never asking and hoping that he would tell me everything eventually. Am I too hopeful? Garett''s family is probably hoping for Garett to be engaged by his birthday. If I am not up to it, they will find another girl. Marriage...Marriage...Marriage... The word is driving me crazy even while I am out on a tea date with Garett. "Are you alright?" Garett asked. I feel like he opens up conversations like this often...My emotions and thoughts must really show on my face now even though I was once famed for being expressionless. "It is just mar...marigolds are really pretty this year." "...Yes, they are," he said. He suddenly had a perplexed look on his face afterwards. I want to ask about marriage, but why is it so difficult for me as a woman to bring it up? Is it because I do not want to look desperate or because I do not want to be the first to bring it up? Why is everything apetition? "Ma...Ma..Mar...Madeleines are supposed to be eaten hump side up. The hump is referred to as the ''pearl'' and the shell design is supposed to be the base," I said. Chicken...Chicken...Chicken...Chicken...Chicken... ????????????????? "That is rather interesting...By the way, for my birthday, we both have to attend Prince Erik''s birthday on that day. He will be choosing an engagement partner...Will you be fine with that?" "I will be fine. I have you after all," I said shyly. "...After the party, I have something important to tell you," he said as he held my hand. Important? Eighteen? He is going to propose to me! "I...I have something I want to tell you too." I want to tell him about my return to the past and about how I died. I want him to know everything about me. Most of all, I want to tell him that I love him the most now... Chapter 68: A Presence Chapter 68: A Presence Garett walked me back to my dorms while holding my hand. We parted a few ways before that, and Garett gave me a light peck on my forehead. "Let''s ride together in my carriage," Garett said. "Yes," I answered him. I went towards my dorm. My doorknob was perfectly aligned for some reason. I usually left my doorknob slightly unaligned before leaving to make notice if anyone came and tampered with my room. That set went missing from my room during that time at Kaya Ouchi''s judgement day, so I have to be careful about surprises. Today, I definitely felt it. There was a presence in my room. I do not want to alert authorities. It is better if things are settled quietly. I opened the door and threw in my scarf. I then pulled my dagger and pushed the assant towards the wall and held a dagger by his neck. "My Lady..." "Vance?" "Yes..." I removed my dagger from his throat and closed my bedroom door. "Would you like some tea?" I offered. "After all of that?" Vance asked as he held his throat. "Some tea would be nice..." After I made him some tea, I sat on my bed. I then loosened up my clothes and took off my coat. "Why are you in my room?" "I had something to discuss with you. There are suspicious movements around Kaya Ouchi." "Suspicious movements? I did not think it was over...Could it be because of Prince Erik''s birthday Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. party?" "She has been gathering followers of her father Baron Otis and rebels of the kingdom behind the scenes." "Rebels...Are they the same group from the first cycle?" "I believe so...I have written a list of the names I remembered from my execution and some descriptions and drawings of their faces," he said as he handed me the list. "I believe that this is more than half of them on there." I took a look at the list of names and the faces depicted. "As I thought, I know all of them...I can probably guess urately about the rest of them." "You were already suspecting them?" "All of these people were suspected of coborating with the Balik Empire..." "The Balik Empire..." "We were in the midst of preparing for war, or were you not aware during the first cycle?" "There were rumors of starting a war, but I was not really aware of it or that it would be with the Balik Empire," he said as he ced his hand to his mouth. "I do not me you for not knowing...You were far from the Castle when talks were undergoing," I said as I pulled out a chair for him. "Oh...please do not mind me, My Lady," Vance said. "This seems like a long talk and the only other seat I could offer is my bed. I was told that I was too unaware of men and can only offer a seat on my bed for my lover," I said. "...I will take a seat then," he said as he sat down. "There were leaks here and there about informational our supply banks. They were minor supply banks, but they were still dwindling for some reason. I had conjured up a list and a n to surround the traitors within the kingdom before I was locked up. The n did not see fruition, yet the list still ended in the hands of the Chancellor. He used the list as a basis for the destruction of the rebels," I said. "You were locked up?" Ah, there are too many empty nks... I thought that I might as well tell Vance the major points from the moment I met Erik...how I first met Kaya Ouchi, how Garett died protecting me, and all of the details that led to my death. "...He wanted me to forget my pain for a moment. His methods were rough, but I eventually forgot about how I was the one who killed Garett and was able to focus on the war preparations." "I am sorry," Vance said as he stood up and lowered his head. "I pressured you to go back with His Highness because I thought you were the perfect couple. I had no idea that I had caused you so much pain from my words." "I loved Erik...I still do even after everything. He had always saved me like a hero. However, each time he saved me, a piece of him died each time. The only one who could cause him so much pain was me. I always resented myself for it. I still do...A rtionship where there is only pain between two people should just not happen, yet it does because people are ignorant and unable to rid their emotions." "My Lady..." "...Let''s focus on other things." Vance sat back down. "I believe that your kidnap attempt involved Kaya Ouchi..." "Why do you say that? I suppose there was the recent incident..." "There is that...You got married...Shortly afterwards, Kaya Ouchi was expelled from school, and then there was the kidnapping incidence. I assumed she got acquainted with rebel forces and the Balik Empire after getting expelled from school." "The Balik Empire is involved...Everything is going too fast. Kaya Ouchi was supposed to meet with the rebels sometime after my wedding. We moved things up the timeline with the recent incident! Vance, things are going to get veryplicated at Prince Erik''s birthday party. At this rate, the final confrontation will happen much sooner and possibly ur there." Chapter 69: Birthday Plans Chapter 69: Birthday ns I wrote several letters and quickly sent out the most important ones through messenger pigeons or trusted messengers. I wanted to speak with Prince Erik for a moment but thought it might be better to leave him out of the loop this time. No more idents...I have to n several backup ns and be ready for anything. I found Garett walking in the halls by himself yet again. Is it a hobby for him to avoid people in general? I was the same way, but I do not go out of my way this much to avoid people. "Great timing," I said as I waved at him. "Good afternoon, Arielle. What is the asion for this visit?" Garett asked. My lover is distant as usual... "I wanted to discuss some ns?" I said. "ns?" Garett said with a tilt of his head. "Since we are both going to Prince Erik''s birthday party, I thought we should celebrate the day before." "I overheard about Charlotte and Grace talking about having a surprise birthday party for me in the Library in the afternoon..." "It''s not much of a surprise if you overheard it then..." "It''s the thought that counts I guess..." He used to dislike parties...I am d that he is starting to be more open minded about it. "I wanted to talk about extending the celebration into the night and in your room because you do not N?velDrama.Org ? content. have neighbors," I suggested. "I do not know about having three women in my room at night..." "I would not like that either, so I wanted to spend the night with you," I said. His face was slightly tinged red. "...Ah, the night...that is fine. Would you like to sleep over as well? Everyone will be gone by evening that day anyways," Garett suggested. The whole night? I was originally going to give him some cookies I made and leave some time at night. "...I would like to stay for the night then," I said. He pats my head gently. "I will get some things ready before your visit," he said as he walked past me. Things? What on earth does he need to get ready? His room is already clean, and he has various snacks and teas in his room... I told Charlotte and Grace that my suggestion went well over some pancakes in town. "I''m d it went well," Charlotte said. "You two will be able to spend some quality time together," Grace said with a dreamy expression. "We will be able to spend a longer time together since he is letting me sleep over," I said happily. "...Sleeping over? You are?" Charlotte asked. "Yes, he is letting me sleep over in his room. The dorm will be empty that night and the day after." "Let us all go pick out a lovely nightgown for Arielle!" Charlotte said excitedly. I thought that I might as well go along with it and have fun with them while I could. We threw a small party for Garett''s birthday in the Library before I left with Garett alone. I walked to Garett''s room with Garett at night. He was kind enough to lend me his bathroom for a light shower and a warm bath. I put on my new nightgown that I bought with Charlotte and Grace earlier today. It was a pretty white babydoll dress with short flounce sleeves and a mid-thigh length skirt. I thought it was a bit too revealing, so I also put on a long sweater cardigan on top. "Are youfortable?" Garett asked. "Yes, very much. Thank you for letting me use your bath," I said. "I also prepared some extra pillows and nkets in case you needed them," Garett said. "For me?" "You have a low body temperature, so I always assumed you needed to be warmer when you sleep," he said as he pats my head. He is so affectionate towards me when we are alone. "Thank you very much...Before I forget, I wanted to give you some cookies I made," I said as I handed him the cookies. He took one out and ate it in front of me. I waited expectantly for him to chew and swallowpletely before he gave his true thoughts. "It''s delicious," he said with a bright smile. Yes! "I''m d." "I will eat the rest tomorrow," he said as he ced the rest on his desk. "I will finish up my book and then go to sleep." He climbed in his bed and began reading a book. Neglect y? After cookies, there really is only sleeping left, right? I looked around his room again. It was a rather impressive room with the size and therge desks and extra tables and a new sofa area. This is probably the most impressive room in the whole school. "...It is normal for a royal family member..." Cousins as well? "...Ah, I''m sorry. Did you want to read something?" Garett said as he took notice of me. "...An adventurous story would keep me up at night. Do you have poetry?" "...I have one in my nightstand," he said as he said as he pulled out a small book. I climbed in bed beside him and saw a familiar book in his hands. The book was a rare copy that only produced ten in total. I had gotten my hands on two of the books that even a Royal Family member would have difficulty obtaining. One of them was at my home. The other...I gave to His Majesty a few years ago when I severed my engagement with Prince Erik. The very same copy with a light watermark of my family insignia ended back in my hands. Why was the copy with Garett...is something I did not want to ask for some reason... Garett had closed his book. "I have already read this book," I said as I handed it back to him. "Have you?" he asked with widened eyes. "Yes...Haven''t you read it?" "...You might be surprised, but this is the only book that I have gotten my hands on that I have not read before." "Why is that?" He looked a bit perplexed as he stared off into the distance. "Mixed feelings...I suppose?" he said as he held my hand. ...Why would he have my book? I don''t understand what kind of feelings he would have that would prevent him from being able to read the book. Was it the person who gave it to him? I wonder which person it was that gave him the book. Prince Erik? His Majesty? What was the exact rtionship between all three of them? I touched his cheek and turned his face towards mine. He ced both of his hands on my face and gently kissed me. Before I knew it, my head was on the pillow and the center of my vision only contained Garett''s face. Night...bed...and my lover all in one room... I wonder why it took me so long to realize that there were other things you could do with your lover in a bed other than sleep...intimate things. I thought I had prepared my heart for anythinging to me, but Garett decided toy beside me instead. Heced his fingers with mine and smiled softly. "...Why?" I asked. "What is it?" he asked with an innocent expression. Is he teasing me or just really that innocent? "...About this..." "Do you not like holding hands? I wanted to hold hands. If you dislike it, I can just let go." I gripped his hand slightly. "...There is no way that I could hate it," I said. "I see...Shall we keep holding hands until you sleep then?" Garett suggested. ...Why ask a question that you already know the answer to? In the end, only I feel embarrassed... "...Can I ask you something?" "Yes?" "...Why did you tell me that you would take me sitting on your bed as an invitation the next time?" "I only said it so that you would be aware that I was a man...I would rather wait until our feelings are mutual before engaging in anything beyond. Don''t worry about anything because I can wait...I have waited this long to hold your hand like this, right?" If I had confessed my true feelings earlier, we would not be experiencing this innocent moment together now...would we? Chapter 70: Morning Bliss Chapter 70: Morning Bliss Morning came and I found myself in the arms of a beautiful man. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I tried my best to slip out of his arms without waking him. Then, I left a note on his table saying that I enjoyed our time togetherst night after changing my clothes. I met with Grace and Charlotte before going into town. There, we would all do our hair, have our makeup professionally done, and be properly fitted into our dresses that were sent in some time earlier. I wore a slim fitted royal blue dress with some gold bordering embellishments with some short off the shoulder sleeves and ruffles at the bottom. For my hair, I had it tied up in a high side ponytail with a I had a long slit in the side of my dress, so I thought I might as well hide a few daggers around my thighs. Under my gloves, I hid a small razor just in case my wrists would be tied. I also had built in daggers into my heels and some needles coated in sleeping potions around my waist. Garett appeared before me in a white carriage and a long ck suit with a blue stand up cor shirt underneath. Over right shoulder was a long blue side cape. It was only justst night where I got to see his beautiful face up close. "Shall we get going?" he asked as he held out my hand. "Yes..." The beginning of the ride was rather quiet. "Are you unhappy with anything, Arielle?" "Huh? Ah, I am sorry...I was just thinking about a few things." About how to rid that nuisance of the kingdom... "Is it another man?" Content is property of N?velDrama.Org. Prince Erik''s face popped into my mind for a moment. I was not even thinking about him before until he said it... "N-No..." I am on my way to my first life''s husband''s birthday party with my current lover and now another man pops into my mind... Does my faithfulness only reach an ounce of salt? I should really focus on Kaya Ouchi making a possibleeback at this next party. "It''s a woman," I answered him. "...I had no idea my lover was into both sexes. This is definitely troubling indeed," he said with a sarcastic tone. "If you think so, maybe you should hold onto me as tightly as possible," I said in a yful tone. He suddenly held my hand. "...If I were to hold on too strongly to you, you would run away from me again," he said with a slightly mncholic expression. The doors of the carriage were suddenly opened. A familiar scene of the castle appeared. The Royal Castle was once a ce I had frequented the most after marriage with Erik. It was also the deathbed for my most beloved person and myself. I suddenly grew cold feet as I went down the stairs of the carriage and hugged Garett tightly. "...For one moment...please let me hold onto you for just a moment longer," I said meekly. "...How could I refuse my lover being selfish for once?" Garett asked as he rubbed my head softly. There were so many things I was scared of. What if Kaya Ouchi appears again? What if she is stronger than before? What if I am unable to defeat her this time? As I walked through the front doors, my worries began increasing. What if I lose Prince Erik again? What if I lose someone else? What if it is Garett this time? Garett is not yet set to die...I could have shortened his lifespan by moving things faster. Why is the future so uncertain? Am I making things worse? What if I end up hurting Charlotte or Grace this time? I felt sick to my stomach so much that I wanted to puke. I held my hand over my mouth and bent over. "As I thought, I cannot do this," I said. Garett walked in front of me and kneeled before me. "Arielle, if you cannot stand the thought of Prince Erik marrying someone else, you can always go to his side..." He is misunderstanding things...I want to correct him, but I have yet topletely sort my feelings out yet. "I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. There are so many mistakes that I can never make up for..." Some of them cost the lives of people very important to me. Even if I am able to avoid a tragic fate, I still do not think I will ever be able to forgive myself. "There are so many times where I think about how wonderful it would be to redo everything...That would also mean that I would abandon all of the sweet memories that happened as well. I am terribly scared of the thing called change. What if things be worse? What if I am no longer who I thought I was? Did I ever really exist? Even you...there is no telling when you will change and leave me! That is the fate of everyone close to me..." We will all go off to live our separate lives...Charlotte will go far away and get married, Grace will return home and be wedded to someone far as well, Prince Erik will stay in the castle where not many people can reach him, and even Garett''s love for me is a question of when before he stops loving me. The only true way of knowing how to tie someone down is through marriage... "Around us, things are going to change today and maybe tomorrow, but you and I will never change..." I hugged him tightly. I will not let fate do as it pleases with any of us... Chapter 71: Familiar Steps Chapter 71: Familiar Steps I walked down familiar steps covered in red carpet. Below, a crowd of Nobles were chattering amongst themselves in small cliques. They took a moment to look at me and began chattering amongst themselves. "You are the prettiest person here," Garett whispered. I am embarrassed if he says that so easily... "Ah, really..." I cannot be cute in times like this... We parted soon after walking down the stairs. I was suddenly bombarded with arge group of females. "Lady Arielle is so beautiful today!" "Her skin appears so milky whitepared to her dress! It is lovely." The number of simrments bombarding me along with the heavy use of perfume and the loud noises started to make me dizzy. "Lady Arielle!" Grace called. "Grace!" I said as I tried to escape thedies. "Excuse me as I privately talk to Grace." "It was difficult for you?" she asked with a smile on her face. "Quite..." "Don''t mind them...They are just curious about the young Duke''s Daughter that rarely appears at these kinds of gatherings," she said with a light smile. She was wearing a lovely purple dress with pink roses. "Your purple dress is very lovely," I said. "Thank you, My Lady! I obviously cannotpare to your dress. It is rather daring. Without your curves, I would not dare wear a simr dress." "Garett feeds me well...Sometimes too well. I tried my best to fit in the dress." "Heavens! Such a sinful man." We shared a shortugh. "Where is Charlotte?" I asked. "Charlotte went to powder her nose." "When was this?" "Come to think of it, it was thirty minutes ago..." "...Grace, you areing with me," I said as I grabbed her hand. We walked around quietly and watched the powder room from afar. A young Noblewoman had walked in by herself. Grace and I waited a bit behind some columns. A man with the appearance of a poorly dressed servant followed in afterwards. N?velDrama.Org ? content. "A man went in! How dare he?" Grace said. Grace seemed as if she were about to run in. I stopped her by pulling her back. If he were just some barbarian, he would not think of using underhanded tactics like using a servant''s clothes were two sizes too small. They wanted to be hidden for a reason. "Let''s wait a bit..." I was only slightly armed. We were both female with smaller frames, and one of us does not have training in fighting with thoserger than much less than any experience at all. The fake servant hade out momentster with arge body sack over his shoulders. "When can we intervene?" Grace asked. Grace was growing increasingly impatient... "Soon...Let''s see where they are being taken. Charlotte may be there too," I said. As expected, he led us straight to a storage room a short distance away from the hall. "My head feels dizzy..." Grace said as she leaned against a column in front of the man. "...How about I take you somewhere to rx?" the man asked Grace as he helped her up. They returned to the storage room. I used a blow dart tool and incapacitated him right after he unlocked the storage room. "That must be where they are keeping them," I said as I came into the clear. Charlotte and several other girls were kept tied up in the storage room. "Thank you for earlier, Lady Arielle...I just have to wonder if you happen to always bring such things with you?" Grace asked. "I do not bring things like this all of the time...I only brought them today," I said as I handed her the blow dart and some needles. "The use should be rather straightforward. If you prefer not to use it, please hand it to Charlotte. She is the one who first taught me how to use them anyways." I quickly untied Charlotte and had Grace help me untie the others. I lightly tapped Charlotte''s cheek. "...Arielle?" "Charlotte, thank goodness you are fine," I said as I breathed out a sigh of relief. I pulled her up from "...I was powdering my nose before I smelled something strange," she said as she rubbed her head. I looked around and saw very familiar faces. They were all well-known beauties of the kingdom. I knew of them because I was once searching for possible concubines for my husband that were notcking in beauty or brains. Why would they be gathered here? "...Kaya Ouchi cannot have other beautiful youngdies usurping her grand reentrance," I surmised. "Kaya Ouchi? Is sheing back for you?" Charlotte asked frantically as she grabbed my shoulders. "She wants to be Queen...I made things difficult for her, so she wants revenge on top of that. I need you to get moving and lead the girls to a safe ce," I said as I handed her a map. "No! Pleasee with¡ª" "Char...thank you for worrying about me, but I must return. The two greatest loves of my life are still in that room. I will be returning there," I said. Charlotte hugged my neck tightly. "I will be waiting for you to return." "Yeah..." I had slipped on a blonde wig to mask my noticeable pink hair and made my way to the smithing quarters where weapons that needed repairs were sent. The weapons that were done were to be loaded up on a wagon just outside before they would be delivered to the Knight quarters. Iined that it was unsafe toy weapons out like that when I was Queen. Since this is still before then, their habits have not changed... I was able to sessfully bring a short sword to my side under my dress along with several other weapons. I thought that I might as well hide a few weapons here and there if I might be roaming about. I casually returned to the hall and hid near an exit I had several ways of escaping from. The royal trumpets suddenly sounded for the appearance of everyone''s hot issue. The person I convicted of murder proudly walked down the halls as if she got away with it. Kaya Ouchi parades down a flight of stairs in a long pitch-ck dress with an empire waist andce cap sleeves. She also wore a ckce choker with twin pearl hairpieces on both sides of her head. No one could deny that she was beautiful with her young innocent like looks. Her heart was sadly painted in the same color as her dress. Prince Erik appeared from a crowd of political leaders. It did not take long for her eyes to lock him on her radar. She quickly made her way towards him andtched her fingers on his person. Vance is nowhere to be seen either. If he ns to protect him, I wish he would stick closer to him or at least disguise himself because he was technically dead once. I was suddenly pulled by my arm from behind. I was pushed against a pir and had a man standing over me with his head by my ears. "My Lady, it is me," Vance said into my neck. "V-Vance, why are you talking into my neck?" How did he find out it was me! "Please y as my lover with me...Nobles are more reluctant towards looking at intimate looking scenes like these, and I do not suppose that you would prefer moving too far from here either." His warm breath sent shivers down my spine. I ced my hands on his neck. "I understand...but please talk near my ear. It is a bit ufortable to talk like this." "Very well," he said as he changed positions and moved one of his legs and wrapped his arms around me. "Forgive me a bit." "...It''s fine," I said as I undid his outer coat. "Whoa! Hey, what are you doing there?" I slipped in a short sword along with a few other weapons into his coat. "It is easier to sneak in this way." "You always did find a way to sneak stuff around...Could you fill me in on what has happened so far?" A couple of girls passed our way and quickly left after seeing us. "...Kaya Ouchi has associates that are willing to kidnap beauties of the kingdom for her," I said as I rested my hands on his shoulders. "Kidnapped!" he eximed as he rose his leg slightly. His leg grazed my inner thigh slightly. It sent a slightly tingly sensation. I pped his cheeks together. "K-Keep it down...I already rescued them and directed the girls that were locked up and have my friends taking care of anything that goes their way." "You are still in danger...How could I possibly calm down?" "I do not think I am that much of an amazing beauty, right? It will be a while before any of her goons His eyebrows scrunched up slightly as he moved his face towards mine and cupped both of my cheeks with his hands. "My Lady is very beautiful. You are probably the most beautiful woman in the whole world to me," he said as he leaned his arm against the wall over my head. "Should I describe the number of ways that you are attractive to you?" My heart raced for a moment from his domineering presence. I pushed him away from me slightly because of some sort of feeling the need to retaliate. "I am sorry..." "What for?" Vance asked. "Ignorance maybe?" I said. He removed his arm from the wall and watched over me with his hand over the wall. "You have no awareness for yourself and no care about your own safety as usual..." "I do not expect you to follow every order I give to you. I am not your Master or anything...Since we can both influence the future with our memories, why not put our heads together to save the people most important to us?" I asked. "Whatever I say...you would do your own thing anyways," Vance said with a sigh. Chapter 72: The Devil鈥檚 Whisper Chapter 72: The Devil¡¯s Whisper Kaya Ouchi leaned in towards Prince Erik and seemed to whisper something in his ear. She had used her hand to cover her lips, making it difficult to read her lips. "That makes me uneasy..." "What does?" Vance asked. "She said something that was able to stir him up from his facial expression. Prince Erik''s smile is a bit more forced than usual..." They soon made their way across the floor and into deserted halls. Kaya Ouchi seemed to be leading the way with Prince Erik in tow. "Where are they moving?" Vance asked. "...They are looking for a ce to be alone." "Alone? Why would His Highness agree to follow her?" Vance asked. "She probably ckmailed him with some news or is using bait to lure him somewhere private...She will seduce him by using her body when they are alone," I surmised. "How do you know that?" Vance asked. "...In our first lives, she told me about her n to seduce Prince Erik...His Highness when they were alone. I got in the way, so she failed. Even with you...Even you were seduced by her, were you not? I do not believe that you were willing to let her rece you in our meeting without special favors," I said coldly. "I did not touch her," Vance said. "She had bruises on her neck...Are you saying that they were not from you?" I asked. "...They were not from me. You have my word," Vance said. Vance did not touch her... She had a weapon...Did she sleep with a guard so that she could slip in a weapon? "I am sorry for misunderstanding you all this time, Vance..." It was wrong of me to just assume things without asking him. He was someone very loyal to Erik and thought kindly of me even if it was momentarily during our first lives. "It is fine. I understand how you could have misunderstood me," Vance said. I walked ahead by myself. I suddenly encountered one of the assants. He tried to put a wet odd smelling cloth over my face. Vance pushed me aside and attacked the assant. "Vance!" "Do not worry about me. Just go!" Vance said as he held the assant off. Kaya Ouchi led Prince Erik to an empty servant''s room. All servants were to be attending the kitchen and dance hall. She was going to seduce him there! Prince Erik is free to choose whoever he wants as long as they truly love him. If Kaya Ouchi really loved Prince Erik, who would I be to stand in her way? However, she never loved him...She never even thought of him as a person. All she wants is a throne to sit on and a life of luxury. I cannot stand her! I jumped out from behind a pir and grabbed Prince Erik''s wrist and ran with him. "Arielle Maddox!" Kaya Ouchi screamed at me. I looked back for a moment and saw her face get increasingly wrinkled with anger. "Arielle? Is that really you?" he asked as his hand moved to mine. "...I am very sorry, Your Highness. I do not have time to speak right now," I said urgently. "I would like to speak to you now," he said as he stopped in ce. "We really must get moving," I urged him as I pulled at him. "How urgent could it be when we are talking?" Prince Erik asked. This person is being more ridiculous than usual... I pulled him into a nearby supply closet and closed the door shut. "Let''s talk then...Why did you follow her there?" I asked as I mmed him against the wall. "Usually...it is the man that does that, right?" "Talk," I ordered. "She said that you were being held captive by her men and that she would release you after we would do it once," Prince Erik said. Why would he go this far for my sake? No matter how hard I push him away, he keepsing back and trying to protect me. "She is the type to poke holes in rubbers...I had hoped you would not fall prey to such cheap antics," I said as I pulled my wig off. "She has a group of associates that are gathering up young women from the party and storing them in a storage room nearby. She probably nned to set me up as the mastermind while she does you in with her body in another location. It is likely that she would have the men kidnap me and ce me in a room with circumstantial evidence and further convict me that way." Prince Erik grabbed me by my shoulders and mmed me against the wall. "...If I just do her once, you will never have to continue running around like this," Prince Erik said. "It will not be thest you see of her," I said as I grabbed his cor. "Do not mind me either...As I have said multiple times before, I will note to love you. The more you do things to get my attention like this, the more Ie to dislike you." I released him and pushed him away. "...Why help me at all?" Prince Erik asked. "...I hate her. If I do not have you on my side, it will be more difficult to take her down. You will be my truth and truly release me from her clutches. It really is all your fault for favoring me that I am being put in such predicaments," I said as I clenched my fists tightly. "You hate the fact that I favor you, but you continue to ask for my help...What is with that?" "I just want you to correct your mistakes and stop favoring me. Someone who can love you will appear one day..." That''s right...Prince Erik is a Crown Prince. Women are just lining up to see him. I am but one chapter of his life. "That person cannot be you?" he asked as he caressed my cheek. "I..." "There is a woman''s voiceing from here!" a man yelled. This is not the time to be swooning. "It will be bad for them to find us..." I said as I quickly shifted gears and pped his hand aside. "Kaya Ouchi will definitely try to create a scandal with you and force you to marry her to save your reputation or at least try to ruin mine." I moved him aside and bent over towards a wall. "W-What are you doing?" he asked with a nervous tone. "Just a bit..." I followed my hand along the wall and found the slightly protruding brick and pushed it in slightly. I grabbed Prince Erik''s wrist and pulled him towards me as the wall rotated. We finally made it to the Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. other side of the wall. "...There is no one here," the people on the other side of the wall said. I lit a match and grabbed a litntern by my feet. "How do you know of the secret passageways?" Prince Erik asked me. I cannot hide my knowledge of the Royal Castle''s inner workings for too long. I feel stubborn about not letting him know everything. If he did, he would surely feel guilty towards me. "It just happened..." I need to gather evidence against Kaya Ouchi. At this rate, she might say that the men were acting on my orders and have everyone follow through with her ns. We walked around the corridor for a bit longer. I followed along the path in my head and found markers that would lead us to the greenhouse. "...How do you know your way around these halls?" he inquired again with an even more demanding tone. Ah, how many excuses can Ie up with in a short time frame? Probably not one of those excuses are one that I can use to put a wool over this person''s honest eyes... Chapter 73: Fragmented Heart Chapter 73: Fragmented Heart "I saw some markers running along the walk with a picture of a ca lily flower and thought it might lead to a garden," I said. He grabbed my wrist in the midst of the garden. A gust of wind flew through an open door. We were both suddenly trapped in a small tornado of white petals. "You have been to this here before and know things about me that only I would know...Do you know something? Why won''t you answer any of my questions?" If I tell you everything, would the future change? No, you would be my Hero again...Then, once again, you will die because of me. "I do not have to tell you everything," I said as I pped his hand away. "You are troubling me by acting like this...So what if I know a few things about you? I was raised to be your Queen without knowing full well what all of my lessons were for. I thought that I was learning for the sake of being a proper daughter of my family. My use as a woman lies with how well I match with my future partner. It is normal for my parents to think about giving me information about the most prospective bachelor with the second to highest position in the kingdom." "How would you know of the secret passageways?" Prince Erik asked. "My parents are both close to His Majesty...I heard stories about the passageways from them and have frequented the Royal Castle various times," I said coldly. Lying to his face is bing increasingly difficult...Is this because this is the longest time that we had spent together? Was it because I could not tell him about how we were once married? I failed at making him hate me... I failed at not making him not have feelings for me... The only one thing I want to not fail at is saving him in this life. I do not want to face the despair of losing this person again. All I ask is that you of all people do not pry into my heart. "...Aren''t those all lies?" he asked as he increased his grip on my wrist. I felt as if my emotions were going to consume me and that I was going to identally say the truth. I need to get out of here! "...Why? Why do you keep pestering me with all of these questions?" I asked. "When you lie, you w yourself in the palm of your hand just like what you are doing right now..." That line... How would he know such things? I looked down at my wrist he was holding onto. My nails had dug in so far that I was bleeding. I pulled my hand back and held it towards my chest. "...Did you ever just think that I hate being touched by you this much?" I asked as I gritted my teeth. I ran away from him. No longer did it matter where I ran. As long as I was far from him, that was all that mattered... That way, I could save what was left of my fragmented heart. I went to the throne room and tried to collect myself once again. Within a few minutes, someone else entered the room. "I saw you run in here, Arielle," Kaya Ouchi said. "If you could be a doll, just tell me where Prince Erik is...We are on a tight schedule to make an heir." N?velDrama.Org ? content. This person has no qualms about being prudish... Here, in this exact spot...I lost my life here. "...I will not be your doll or anything. I will not do as you ask either," I said frigidly. "...You are not the only one who does not do as I ask. Neither Gavin Lord, Randall Maddox, Channing Wells, nor Dolton Grass would do as I ask...Once I convict you of the recent kidnapping of the female Nobles, Prince Erik and every person that once loved you will all look down on you as well." What she was saying was cruel, yet her tone sounded mncholic for some reason. "...Why would you do all this?" I inquired her. "...Is it not obvious that I want to be Queen? You ruined my chances with Prince Erik," she said as she red at me. Her condescending tone was gone despite her words. "If that was all, would it not just be easier to go after His Majesty instead? You do not just want to be Queen...You also love Prince Erik." This person is in love with Prince Erik. This person was crying when she hurt Erik in our first lives. If she only cared about the throne, she would not have cried like that. I hate this person, but I can somehow understand her the most because we fell for the same person. In the end, we both ended up not being able to convey our feelings to the person we cared about the most. "In the beginning, I thought it would be nice to change my life when I came to this world. The best way for me to assure my happiness would be with that person. A life of luxury with a beautiful man...That surely is happiness, right? I never thought that I would end up falling for his smile. Everyone says that you should never fall for royalty because the one who falls in love will be the person who gets hurt the most," she said as she held her face in her hands. "They were right...I became unable to convey my feelings the more I grew to love him because I knew that he was in love with someone as perfect as you. He never looked at anyone else but you. Could you imagine the dread I felt from not being able to convey my feelings to him?" She looked up at me with her tear-stricken face. "I understand how it feels to love someone and not be able to convey your feelings to them. I am the same way once...I still have note to terms yet with my own feelings and continue hurting the people closest to me." I have not been able to answer to Garett''s feelings properly yet. This is all because I have been dragging old feelings around...I am not sure of who I am truly in love with. However, I can tell that my heart clearly wants to be with Garett. I am just not able to put my feelings into words yet. "How could you understand my pain? You were born with a good family, wealth, beauty, intelligence, and people constantly fawning over you. It is unfair for such a perfect being to exist! I was a middle- aged woman with an average wage job without anyone to love or anyone to love me. I thought that being reborn in this life would give me a chance at happiness. All I received was a low Noble title and scrutiny from other Nobles because I was not like them. For you, who is loved by this world and everyone in it...you could not even spare me the one person I fell in love with at the very least." If someone who truly loved Prince Erik came by, would I be able to simply nod my head and ept that person even if that person was the person who hurt Erik in our first lives? The reason Erik even died in the first ce was because of me...In the beginning, all of her hate was directed towards me. If I leave to never appear in front of her, she will not have a reason to be hateful anymore. "I do not mind you being with Prince Erik as long as you truly love him. However, you have to make do with your own effort to make him love you. I cannot give you that because my effort is of my own and his heart belongs to only him. Whether he falls for you or not will be because of your efforts and yours alone..." "...Do I not get a choice?" Prince Erik asked. Why was he here? Is history going to repeat? Chapter 74: A Liar Until the End Chapter 74: A Liar Until the End "...Do I not get a choice?" Prince Erik asked. "What are you doing here? You should not be here," I told him. "See...It was impossible...He has only seen you and will always see you. Even if I make you the mastermind of today''s incident, he will probably still take your side," Kaya said. She had a deep emptiness in her eyes. I took a few steps towards her. "What are you doing?" Prince Erik asked. "...Fixing your mess...You never gave her a proper answer to her confession. You did not do or say anything. Giving her false hope and throwing her away without ever properly giving her a rejection makes you the worst one of us all," I told him coldly. He stood still after I said that. Prince Erik should have cut her cleanly from his life to let her move on. He did not do anything. That is why she feels as though she needs to corner herself like this to get even an ounce of his attention. "...It is always you in the end, Arielle...Can you imagine how I feel?" she asked. I stopped a few feet before her. "I cannot...I am not you after all." "I hate you," she said in tears. "I hate you so much, Arielle." "The person you fell for loves someone else. That is but one tragic fate out of several hundred fates that could have befallen upon you, yet you want to let this one love led to you to a path of destruction. If he loved you back and was willing to follow you, maybe that would be the ideal romance...but he does not love you. Prince Erik is in love with me. As for me, I am also in love with someone else. Prince Erik''s love for me will forever be unrequited as it will be for you too," I said coldly. She brought out her dagger. It was a familiar curved tip with a gold shaft. The weapon that was killed me was in her hands again. "...If I kill you, the most beloved person in his life, at least he will think of me forever," Kaya said wickedly. I walked closer to her. "He will still never love you..." She lunged her dagger towards me. I grabbed her wrist as she tried to stab me and knocked the dagger out of her hands. I then punched her in the gut and rendered her unconscious. It was over... If the assassination attempt in front of a Royal was not enough, he also probably heard the confession of her crimes as well. This may be enough to clear my name. "Arielle..." "Yes?" I answered Prince Erik. "I am sorry for everything," he said with much sincerity. "...You do not have to tell me that you are sorry. I never asked for an apology. I only ask that you change your behavior towards women and people that love you. If you do not cut them cleanly, they will hands. "Let''s convict her in a proper court...I just ask that you give her some leniency in court. If she could repay for her crimes at a monastery..." "Done." "That is great," I said as I fell to my knees. I wonder why my knees fell at that moment. "Arielle?" For several years, I had been carrying a deep burden in my heart. Prince Erik can be saved... Sadly, nor Erik or our child will have another chance in their life. This person will find another wife and conceive a child with that person. I do not think I will ever truly be able to fully ept it because I loved N?velDrama.Org ? content. this person so much for so long before. My tears, my memories, my feelings...will never reach you. I can never tell you that I love you. If I do, you will want to return my feelings. Surely, that person will be hurt...I do not want to hurt him because I now realize that I love Garett more than I love Prince Erik. Yet despite everything, I still want to confess everything to the person in front of me before I can move on with Garett. I grabbed his wrist as I tried to mouth my words, "For this whole time, I have love..." From behind Prince Erik, I saw a looming dark shadow. I felt iing danger as it came closer. I pulled Prince Erik aside. It was all in an instant... The found a de lodged in my lower left quadrant. Prince Erik had caught me as I was descending to the ground. "Arielle!" Prince Erik called. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vancee and deal with the unknown assant. He was in tatters from dealing with multiple people in the background. Thankfully, none of his injuries seemed too bad. Momentster, Knights from all over stormed the castle came in and assisted Vance. I heaved a sigh when I realized that he was going to live. The letters that I sent out had sessfully reached the Knights'' faction. I sent most of them to the areas I anticipated of possible kidnapping areas. From how Kaya Ouchi had kidnapped me once, I thought that I should prepare at least this most. I was right to think that Kaya Ouchi would be this devious. "Arielle, stay with me!" Prince Erik continued screaming. His screaming brought me back to the reality that I was in the middle of dying from a stab wound. "You are too loud..." I wonder what people usually think when they have been stabbed... It''s painful? I have been stabbed? Am I going to die? I stabbed myself once before. It was more instantaneous and less painful the first time probably because I stabbed my chest immediately. I can feel my body slowly growing cold from my extremities to my upper body. The pain no longer bothered me. If there was something that did bother me, it would be the distraught look on Prince Erik''s face right now. He was crying for me despite every cruel thing I had ever said to him. "Why would you save me! Don''t you hate me?" he asked. "You are the only fianc¨¦e who would openly show her hate for her fianc¨¦. You should have acted in a way that was befitting of your role." "I wonder why I saved you...Maybe because I love this kingdom? Even if I do not like you, you are still the best person to inherit the throne...and the will of the people. Someone like you should not die here," I said while trying to sound indifferent. "Lies! You saved me because you do not actually hate me. If you did, you would not have done all this for me. Not just this, for everything...I know full well of how much you have done for me behind the scenes. Did you not think I would not find it strange that every poison and assassination attempt that I had would always fail for the past several years? Someone would always send my guards and taste testers a tip before the act." I had taken a look at Erik''s medical records before in our first life. He had over thirty poison attempts as a child and twenty-seven assassination attempts towards his person. Over half of those times, he barely escaped those attempts with his life. Since he said they always failed, that means that I was sessful in urately guessing when the attempts were. "I suppose you got lucky..." "You were the anonymous tipper...Even all of my best guards, poison testers, and doctors were coincidentally rmended by you. You used your father''s name instead, but they all mentioned you personally when I asked about why they chose to work for me. Would a mere fianc¨¦e that hates me really go this far to help me?" He investigated me this far? He will definitely be a great King... "Those are all assumptions...I have done nothing other than do my best to ignore you." "...Why do you keep lying?" I could no longer feel any pain... "...I never loved you...I have always hated you," I said to him. I finally said it...Lies are easier to say when you are desperate to tell them on your deathbed. It was easier this way. If I told him that I loved him, he would me himself forever... You will move on with your life and have a wonderful family. Although I am a bit sad that I will not be able to see it, my sacrifice will be worth it if you can live a full life this time. "Are you really going to be a liar until the end!" Forever...if I have to... "I truly hate you..." I have always hated you...I have always hated you...I have always hated you...I have always, always loved you, Erik Arundel...and I always will. I could never apologize enough to Garett for sacrificing myself again for this person... Chapter 75: Written Confession Chapter 75: Written Confession I had a dream where I had two children running around and I was knitting a sweater over myp in the sunshine. The father of my two children would arrive with a big smile on his face. Before I could see his entire face, I was blinded by a bright light. I was in a beautiful room and was surrounded by a bed of flowers when I opened my eyes. To my right, someone with neck length ck hair was reading a book. I was probably not dead I think...For some reason, I was surrounded by flowers as if I were in a coffin. "...Is this not a bit much?" I asked. He dropped his beloved book and hugged me against his usual indifferent character. I remained silent as I let him hug me until he was satisfied. I am alive... I had many visitorse and go in my room after that. The person I most expected to see did not show up. Only his numerous presents of flowers were left behind in this room. It seems that someone would asleep for a week, so the number of flowers that kept popping up here and there umted to the point where it almost appeared to be a newly formed garden in my room. "What were you reading earlier?" I asked Garett. "It''s the poetry book you read before," he said as he joined me in the bed and opened the book for me. "Why did you begin reading it?" I asked him as I scooted over a bit. He smiled a bit as he looked at me. My heart raced from his slightly flirtatious smile. "I wonder..." "Ah..." I tried to move my eyes back towards the book. Beautiful looks like his could kill someone. "I found some words in the back of the book that looked like your handwriting..." I scribbled a few things in the back of the book, thinking that it would be a while before he would read it. I tried tough it off. "They are just some random scribbles..." "It''s the Asmariannguage. I studied a bit of thenguage back in the day and saw a simr word page," he deduced. I covered my face with my hands. I had forgotten that he was knowledgeable of the culture and thenguage of Asmaria. "...Yes," I confessed to much of my embarrassment. I heard some rustling in the bed and lifted my face to see Garett''s face in front of mine. Different from his usual expressionless face, his eyes were full of desire and his cheeks were redder than ripened apples. I closed my eyes as his face got closer to mine. He kissed me with his full lips and stared back at me before holding my head and kissing me more deeply than before. I soon felt his hand cradling my head and his arm around my body as he moved mepletely to the bed. I moved my hands to his shoulders, while he had moved his to my waist. I felt one of his legs rub my inner thigh the sensation continued up further upwards towards a slightly dangerous region. I was caught a bit by surprise when I found the entrance of a strange objecte into my mouth. From the heat and the way, it slithered around my tongue, I had confirmed that the invader was indeed his tongue. He moved away for a moment and traced my lips with the tip of his tongue before reinserting it once more into my mouth. The kiss was far from graceful. It was more animalistic from how he sought after me. Even the look of his eyes revealed someone that had been starved for too long. His persistent kisses soon moved to the scruff of my neck. A slightly cool sensation would be left where his tongue would pass over. His hands would pass over my chest and slowly bring my neckline of my clothes lower as he further kissed my neck. I had identally let out a coquettish gasp and covered my mouth soon afterwards. "...Don''t cover up," he said sexily with heavy pants. My chest tightened at his appearance. The inner parts of my thighs soon began to ache as if I was dying to be touched. I soon got my wish when he began what felt like the kneading of my thighs against the contact of his own legs. We joined in for another kiss where our tongues would entangle. I reflexively ced my hands on his shoulders and gripped his shirt tightly. Garett''s kisses are so sweet... I never knew that his kisses could be so hot and so soft...I would not mind kissing him all day if I could. When he tried to pull away, I desperatelytched onto his neck like a needy child. "...More," I begged him. "Please...Garett?" He seemed to gulp his saliva a bit before continuing. He entangled my tongue once again. He would caress my body only to stop before my bountiful breasts. I could only think that made he felt nervous about them easily bruising or maybe he just found big breasts undesirable. It would not be very appropriate of me to tell him that I did not mind for my chest to be caressed. He might be appalled or feel pressured by me if I told him so. His hands traveled from my waist to my knees he had raised my legs and split them apart as heid his body on top of me. Unable to close my legs, I continued kissing him anyways without much thought. I want to feel him closer... These clothes are a hinderance...Garett''s clothes were a bit stiff as always. He was always a well- dressed person, but constantly wearing clothes that are buttoned up all the way all of the time might have been ufortable for him. I thought that I could release him a bit by unbuttoning the top few buttons around his cor area. In the midst of our intense exchange of kisses, he pulled away again. "...Arielle..." "...Garett...more kisses," I begged. He hoisted himself upwards against the bed frame and turned his head away to the side. "Anymore and it will be bad..." "Bad...how?" "Many ways..." he answered vaguely. Ah...there is something bothering me. "Did you drop a book in the bed? Its spine has been poking me for some time now." The thick book was poking me around, so it was a bit difficult to say it earlier. I cannot take it any longer. I have to speak up now. "...That is not a book." Wow...It is big. He is indeed a healthy young man. "I am sorry for not noticing that you were holding back..." This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . Garett grew into a man before I knew it. His shoulders had be broader, the tone of his voice had gotten deep, the strong arms that held me were hard and muscr, and his height had reached to the point where it was difficult for me to reach his lips even with the assistance of heels. We were kissing each other in bed. I probably became more desperate for his kisses now because I do not know when the next time is, I can kiss him this much. "...It''s fine," he heaved. I wonder what was wrong with me today...I do not want things to end like this. I am hypnotized by this beautiful man and want to continue being hypnotized by him. I rested both of my hands on the bed and stared at him with upturned eyes. "...Can...we continue?" I asked in between gasps. He gave me a very troubled expression before pressing his lips against mine again. "...I love you, Arielle." I suddenly felt not so good and pressed on his chest reflexively. "...It hurts," I said as I wed his shoulder. "...It is wet?" Garett moved the nket away and revealed my lower half. My panties along with my bandagesid exposed to the air. My wound had reopened. I had bled over Garett''s clothes. Garett panicked over the blood and quickly went to find a doctor despite his disheveled appearance. Heter returned with a doctor. After being treated again, Garett was firmly scolded by the doctor and the other nurses. "It is my fault...was it not?" I asked Garett as I held out my hand. "How could that be? I forced myself on a sickbay patient," he said as he held my hand. "...I will get better soon. In the meantime, I hope that you will be able to wait for me to put my feelings towards you into words out loud." "I already received your confession," he said as he waved the book in the air. I am going to die from embarrassment... Chapter 76: Personal Experience Chapter 76: Personal Experience Vance appeared the next day. Garett had an unpleasant facial expression when he saw Vance arriving with a basket of fruits. "...It will be for a short while," Vance said nervously. Vance had changed his name and cut off much of his hair to give him a new sense of identity. His background story was set to be Dolton''s distant rtive who just so happens to look much like him. He took the Knight test and passed on the very first try. Heter received a rmendation from my father as well as his blood rted father to be a Knight of Prince Erik. When he became a Knight close to Prince Erik, not many questions were asked about his origins because of his powerful backing. I still do not think he is enough of a suspicious fellow for Garett to be worried about though... "Have a great time," Garett said as he left us alone. "He does not seem to like me," Vance said with an awkward smile. "I happen to like you," I said lightheartedly. "Please do not say such things so easily...Jealousy of a man with a lover is very scary," Vance said. "He probably is jealous," I said with a small chuckle. "Were you well acquainted with him before the time leap?" "He was His Highness'' cousin, so we spoke to each other sometimes. We were never really close...When you look at them side by side, they are very simr to each other. They could be twins if no one knew any better." "I was surprised too. It was not until long after I left the Academy that I noticed their faces were so close in simrity." "That is a bit long considering how long you three had known each other..." "I suppose my mind was filled with other things back then." "His Highness?" "...I do not deny it," I confessed. "How are your injuries?" he asked. "They reopened again, but I will live." "They reopened!" he said with a worried look on his face. I cannot tell him about yesterday''s trysts... N?velDrama.Org ? content. I coughed lightly into my fist to clear my throat and tried to fan away my flushed face. "It''s fine...You have something to tell me?" I asked. "I have a few things to report. In the recent incident, the Knights caught around fourteen disguised assants, two mercenaries, and seven Nobles. Along with Kaya Ouchi and her father, five other Nobles were found to be connected to the recent incident. Coincidentally, they are all Nobles that have epted bribes from The Balik Empire," Vance reported. "...How is Er...His Highness?" I asked him concernedly. "His Highness is fine. He is just a bit shaken from recent events. I believe half of it was due to self- reflection and the other was probably witnessing your fall," Vance said. What a troublesome man... "I want to see Kaya Ouchi," I told him. "Right now?" "Right now." Vance swept me off of the bed and into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He stepped onto the window ledge with me in his arms. It was great that Vance was a man of action who did not express manyints. "I know a shortcut down," Vance said. "Really?" I asked sarcastically. Just then, Garett appeared back in the room with a contemtive look on his face. "What are you doing with someone else''s lover?" Garett asked with a slightly irritated facial expression. "I will be going out for a bit," I said as I waved him goodbye. Vance jumped down three stories with me in his arms. Garett''s yelling became inaudible the further we got away from the hospital room. "...He sounds very angry," Vance noted. "He is angry...It will be fine if I show a bit of affectionter," I said happily. I changed into a maroon-colored dress with a high pinup white cor and a white frilled scarf with a green broach when we went into town. Everything was paid of course by Vance since I had no money on me. It is no problem at all because he receives hefty sries from his job. By using my father''s name, I was easily able to ess the tower that Kaya Ouchi was being held at. She was a Noble, so her treatment was far from being disadvantageous with how she was able to gain arge room with afortable bed and ess to three meals a day. "Who are you?" Kaya Ouchi asked. I removed the hood over my head and walked out of the shadows and closer to her cell. "It''s me," I said. She gasped as she looked at me as if I was a ghost. "Let me in, Vance. I would like to talk to her in her cell." She was no longer a threat without her weapons or dangerous backing. "Only if I join you, My Lady," he said. I nodded anyways. He must have a few things he must want to say to her as well. The guard opened the gate for us and left soon afterwards. Vance pulled out a chair for me and held my hand for me as I sat down in front of Kaya Ouchi. I took a closer look at her appearance. She only had on a long unattractive night gown and became rather humble looking without her many decorations. Looking at her in a simple dress made me see her natural beauty. "I thought that you had died..." she said as she sat down on her bed. "I came back from the dead just to haunt you," I joked. She did not take well to my joke and only grew paler. I thought that I should redeem myself a little by clearing my throat first with a cough. "I have better things to do than follow you around. I only came here for a short chat." "I doubt that you would find pleasantries in talking with a prisoner," she said snidely. She spoke with so much zest that it almost appeared as if she did not think of herself as a convict. "This is the fifth time we have spoken each other face to face alone," I said. "...I do not recall..." "Of course, you would not...I time leaped to the past from three years in the future," I said. "...Y-You time leapt?" "You did this stunt three years into the future because you were unsessful in your attempts to woo Prince Erik and ended up killing Prince Erik by your hands." "I killed him?" "You were aiming for me, but he got in the way of the de instead because he wanted to protect me...I came back to the past shortly after that and returned to what would be over a decade ago in this world." "...You knew everything then...Why not kill me when you knew about my true intentions?" If I just killed her, I would not be able to round up all of Prince Erik''s enemies in one setting. You were bait for me too... "I loved Erik, but his love was too heavy for me...I was a pain in his side with him always having to protect me at the expense of himself. When I returned, I thought the best way for us to avoid hurting each other was to just break off the engagement in this life." I thought that I might as well tell her everything about my ill rtionship with Erik and how I suffered through mental instability all the way up to when I took my own life. Kaya Ouchi seemed to be understanding of me since she quietly listened to everything that I had to say. "...Why save him in this life?" she asked me. "...I love him despite everything. What other reason do I need?" I answered her. "I always assumed that marriage with Prince Erik would be the ultimate happiness. Reality is just so different...If you still love him, why not return to him?" she asked. "A painful love like the one we had would only be a poisonous one...If that was not all, I love someone else much more now," I said. "...I woke up shortly after you were stabbed. I heard everything you said to him. That is when I thought, ''Ah...I will really neverpare to this person who was willing to sacrifice her own life for someone else.'' I could never do that...Twisted as your love was, I think you two are still meant for each other. What you feel for your current partner is not love. You want a safe haven to which you could always feel safe at. The person who can move you the most is without a doubt Prince Erik. No matter how much you lie, you can never be able to lie to your own heart. Take it from personal experience," she said. Her words rung deeply in my heart. What I feel for Garett is not love? Am I also just using him like everyone up until now? "...I can live without Prince Erik, but cannot live without Garett," I said. I let Vance takeover for a bit before I left the cell. Chapter 77: Forgive Yourself Chapter 77: Forgive Yourself "Let''s go somewhere else after this," I said to him as he sat down in front of me. "...Where?" "Somewhere special," I answered him with a smile. Within half an hour, we arrived at Vance''s true home that he had not came back to ever since his proimed death. His parents only received a simple letter with a royal seal and instructions to hold a funeral with an empty casket. His look of wonder was a rather interesting face. "This is..." When we got down from the carriage, we could see Baron Grass and his wife stood waiting for us in front of their home. I simply nodded in Vance''s direction and allowed him a lovely moment with his family. They all shared in a warm embrace with one another and shared a few tears. "...This lovely youngdy is?" Baron Grass asked. "I am Arielle Ira Maddox...daughter of Prime Minister Triston Maddox and Duchess Amalie Ira Nereus Maddox," I said with a curtsy. "Greetings! I am Baron Gregory Grass and this is my wife Ca Grass," Baron Grass said in a panicky manner. "Your son has been very good to me at the Academy. Pardon me for my manners...I wanted to express my thanks to the people that raised him to be such a fine young man. I apologize if I took too much time out of your day." "Not at all! You are too kind Lady Arielle," Baron Grass said. "Let''s have some tea together in the garden." We had some tea and snacks together on the patio. I let Vance catch up with his parents about his independency and his studies while I just sipped tea by myself. "...I never once thought that Dolt...Sir Vance would bring such a lovely youngdy here to show her to us," Baroness Grass said. N?velDrama.Org ? content. "Not at all...I am in debt to him. He is a fine young man. It is too bad that I was unable to meet your other children. I have heard many stories about them." Her eyes were locked on my figure and peered me up and down. I tried to pay no mind to her intense stares. "There will be plenty of chances to see them. You must definitely attend my next tea party, Lady Arielle." "Of course, Baroness," I replied. "...How about Sir Vance take Lady Arielle on a stroll through the garden? The roses are lovely this season," Baroness Grass suggested. She intends to make me her daughter-inw... "M-Mother, she cannot..." I took in Vance''s hand. "I will be fine if you are there to support me," I said with a smile. Vance reluctantly epted the suggestion and helped me up by my hand. We walked through the maze garden and made a stop at the gazebo in the center of the maze. Vance had me rest on a circr bench of the gazebo. I rested my back against the wall of the gazebo and rested my head against the supporting beam. I ced my right hand over my injury. "You do not seem fine," Vance said as he kneeled in front of me. "You could always carry me back." "...Does My Lady n to incite my mother to hold a wedding for us within a month?" "I do not think Garett would be very happy with me marrying a man that just kidnapped me." I do not think that marriage with Vance would be too bad. He is wealthy, strong, and seems easy to control from behind the scenes. "I do think the kidnapping is the major problem here...My mother seems intent on marrying me to you," Vance said. "Marrying you is not a bad idea," I said as I sat up straight. "You seem easy to control as a husband." "Are you not just too maniptive, My Lady?" "...Perhaps." I enjoyed joking andughing with him, but we cannot stay this way forever. We were not meant to meet had it not been for Prince Erik. I suddenly felt sullen again. Vance touched my cheek to assure my wellness. He worriedly asked, "Are you alright?" I removed his hand from my cheek and looked deep into his eyes. "...Dolton." "My Lady, why would you call me..." I shed him another smile. "...Dolton," I repeated in a gentler tone. The gentle mature tone that I had used when I was a Queen caused Vance to widen his eyes. "...Yes, Your Highness?" he answered me. "...Now that things have changed, do you forgive yourself a little now?" I asked. "Huh?" A tear spilled from his left eye. ced my hand over his cheek and wiped away his tears with my thumb. He held my hand that was pressed against his cheek. I looked into his ruby colored eyes and smiled. "You can fool the world, Prince Erik, and maybe even yourself, but you could never fool your Queen. You have not been able to move on from that day. I thought maybe that you wanted to save Erik because you failed to save him in our first lives. The feeling of saving someone may just be a sense of self gratification. However, saving someone does not mean that you yourself have been saved. Is that not right?" I asked. "No...The events from the other day as well as the day of your death keep popping up in my dreams as well as the back of my mind. Sometimes I have nightmares that all of this is just a dream and that you and His Highness are still dead because of me," Vance said. "We are not dead yet," I said as I touched his chest. "The number of wounds you received that day are proof." The scent of sterilization was overpowering his cologne that he tried to use in order to hide it. "...I...I was determined to lose my life if it meant that I could protect you two. In the end, you still got hurt despite me being there with you. Even though the incident ended, could that really be called saving you two? What if just another incident happens again? What if it would be my fault again?" he asked. "Forgiveness is something that we often seek from others because often times the most difficult person to please is ourselves. As your Queen, I will take over that role...I forgive you, Dolton," I said. He buried his face into his hands as he began crying. I went onto my knees in front of him and cradled his head over my chest. His arms soon wrapped around my body and brought me closer to his embrace. Thest person who needed saving was Dolton himself. I had Vancey down on the bench and had him rest his head on myp as I caressed his head. "Hey, Vance...I want to apologize to you," I said. "Apologize?" he asked. "I forced you and your family into making difficult decisions in order to realize my goals. You had to fake your death, lie to your parents, and cut off your rtionship with all the people that you were close with. I am such a horrible master," I said solemnly. "That is not..." "True? I gave up so much to be the perfect Queen. In the end, I was ipetent as a person. I had to rely on other people like you to get my dirty work done. I am but a weak human who can only live by hurting others. At least...you should be able to make your own life choices. You are not my puppet or ve. It is wrong of me to keep you around like this. Your happiness is the only thing that I cannot give you," I said. "What do you mean by..." "You can go back to being Dolton Grass. Your goal was to serve Prince Erik back then, right? You can continue serving him. The only change to your life will be your name and being able to contact all of your past rtionships with other people. This includes your family and rtives. It will a bit difficult exining your false death, but you have my word that I will try to resolve everything as soon as possible for you." "My Queen..." I ced one finger over his lips. "Please do not answer me now...If you do, I am sure that you would side with the person coddling you right now. I would be taking advantage of your weakness if I told you to give me an answer this instant," I said. "...Let me think about it," he said. "Good answer...Dolton, no matter what your answer is, I was happy that it was you who became my first andst Knight. Thank you for your service," I said with a bright smile. "It was my honor!" I ended up being carried back by Vance. When he applied strength during our embrace, he had invigorated my wound as well. With me being in too much pain to walk, he carried me back in his arms for both of his parents to see. His mother was more than ecstatic to see the closeness of our rtionship. "I will be seeing your marriage portrait when Ie home," I predicted. "My apologies..." Chapter 78: Special to You Chapter 78: Special to You It was nearing evening when we returned to the hospital. Garett had waited in front of the hospital and held out his arms. There seemed to be a silent agreement between Vance and Garett when he ced me into Garett''s arms. I ended up being carried all the way to my room. Vance returned to his own estate right after handing me to Garett. Garett brought me to my room in silence and only handed me my nightgown after setting me down on the bed. I removed my clothes and changed into my nightgown. He sighed. "Even if I am your lover, I thought women would be a little more embarrassed about stripping in front of a man," he finally said. "I am used to changing in front of many servants...I thought that since you handed me my nightgown, you wanted me to change right away," I said. "You could have waited for me to leave the room..." "You are my lover, so I thought that it did not matter," I said. Lover is a pretty nice excuse...You can get away with most things by saying that. He pressed me lightly to the bed and had me lie down as he covered me with a nket. "Rest for now...Your nonsensical banter will have to wait forter," Garett said. "...Are you going to leave?" I asked. "Do you want me to?" Garett asked. "The room is a bit lonely after you leave. If you could stay a bit longer..." After I said that, Garett climbed into bed with me andid on his side. "I won''t leave until you sleep," he said as he held my hand. "Thank you..." I love this person. No matter how many people I throw away in my conquest for Prince Erik''s happiness, the one I cannot live without is this person... "Why do you keep staring at me?" Garett asked with a smile. This content belongs to N?/velDra/ma.Org . His emerald green eyes widened for a moment before beginning to quiver. "...I honestly do not think that those three words are enough to express all of my feelings for you. As difficult it is for me to find the right words to tell you, I would like you to know that you are not second best to anyone. I hold you in a very special ce in my heart and want to be together with you forever," I said. "...I love you too, Arielle," Garett said. I rested in bed for a few more days before I was able to go around and about. I owe the status of my fast recovery to Garett who gave me nearly around all around the clock care night and day. He would be by my side before I would sleep and there with me when I would awaken. Sometimes I wonder if he just does not sleep since he would always be awake before me. We would often share the bed together before I would sleep or when we would have short naps together, but I have never seen him sleep during my stay here. I never decided to pry about anything since he must have been worried when I received the stab wound to my person. Sharing a bed together suddenly became a habit even during nap times. The nurses became more amodating by gifting Garett with a few pairs of pajamas since he practically slept here most of the time as well. Vance appeared on the day of my release with a bouquet of white lilies and pink roses arrangement in his hands. "Congrattions on your release from the hospital, My Lady," Vance said. Garett who was supporting me with his hand and his arm around my waist. I gave him a smile that he quickly understood and gave me and Vance some room with a generous distance away. "Thank you very much," I said as I epted the flowers. "...My Lady, I have considered your proposal," he said seriously. I smiled brightly at him. "Yeah...I am waiting for your answer," I said. "Since I have been a boy, I had always wanted to be a Knight that would one day serve the Royal Family. I was able to achieve that dream twice because of you. You said that you could not give me happiness, but I am the one who gets to decide my happiness, right? You may not be fully aware, but I am truly the happiest when I am with you," he said with a big smile on his face. "Do you not want to back to being Dolton Grass?" I asked with my eyes starting to tear up. "...I have been happier ever since you named me Vance. There is no need for me to return anywhere," Vance said as he kneeled before me and ced his hand over his chest as he held out one hand towards me. "Would you allow me the honor of being your Knight once again?" "...What about His Highness? As I said before, I cannot give you any happiness. I am a terrible master who cannot give you anything." "I have always wanted to be with you only if you would allow me to," Vance said. I was in tears when I took his hand. Vance stood squeezed my hand lightly. "I promise to protect you forever as your Knight, so please ept me when I am worthy enough to be around you." "...I ept that oath," I said happily. He lightly kissed the back of my hand. I heard the sound of Garett''s coughing nearby. He was standing beside us with a slightly irritated expression. A crowd of onlookers began pping their hands and congratting us on what appeared much like a wedding proposal. They seemed a bit confused when Vance made his exit and left the irritated Garett with me to console. No matter how irritated he was, he would never leave the recovering me alone and lent me his arm to hold onto when we went on our way back to my dorm room. He helped me sit down on my bed and sat beside me. When there is daylight, no one was particrly guarding the halls. Having my lover in my room was not an issue to be so urgent about. "...I have thought this before, but you are a bit close with that man," Garett said with much displeasure in his tone. I found his slightly pouty face to be extremely endearing. "He is my Knight, so he has to be a bit close to me," I said as if it was a matter of fact. Garett looked a bit dejected as he had to ept it. He removed his sses and began massaging his temples. "That is true..." "My lover holds a special ce though," I whispered in his ear. I was suddenly pulled by my arm and brought over hisp. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and waist. I waspletely encased in his arms... I felt my face be more flushed as Garett''s face moved closer to mine. His body heat felt as if it were a bit smoldering to me. As if responding to his intense body heat, my body began heating up just as much. "...How special am I to you?" he asked with just a few centimeters away from my lips. Without waiting for an answer, he took my lips and breath away. Chapter 79: Layered Feelings Chapter 79: Layered Feelings I had worn a white and blue floral dress with a high neck andyered scarf around my neck. I also parted half of my hair back and held it up with arge matching blue ribbon. Vance came to my dorm and greeted me with a carriage as I came out. Our destination was the Royal Castle. King Arundel wanted to award me and Vance for our valiant efforts in the recent incident. I received a Medal of Honor alongside Vance. I left without making any eye contact with Prince Erik. "Arielle," Prince Erik called out to me. I cannot avoid this person... Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. "...Greetings, Your Highness. It has been a while since we have met," I said with a curtsy. "...Your Highness?" I sighed. "How else would you like for me to refer you as when we are not close friends, lovers or engaged to one another? We no longer have anything to do with each other," I said coldly. "As expected of a cold person like you...Running away from me for all these years and thening back with a stranger by your side. You are truly a despicable person, " Prince Erik said piercingly. My heart felt as if it was being pricked by a thousand needles. "So what?" I answered him snidely. "Do I not get at least one exnation for all of this?" Prince Erik asked me. "Why do I owe you an exnation for anything?" I asked. "Not just once...It was several times that you saved me. Just recently, you almost died for me. Can you still say that you do not love me after all of this?" Prince Erik asked. I do not want to answer such an unfair question... "...We no longer have anything to do with each other than just being former lovers and engagement partners of a political marriage. I am free to do whatever I want now, including being with whoever I want," I said. "You n on marrying him?" "If he intends to take me, I will!" I said strongly. He grabbed my wrist as he stared deeply into my eyes. "Ari..." My entire being shook with fear...My nickname that was used with the original Erik had escaped his lips. "How did you..." His eyes widened in surprise. "I knew it...you returned as well." I panicked and pulled my hand back and ran away as fast as I could. He returned...He returned...He returned! I hid it all in alone for so long, but it turns out that he had returned as well! Since when? Does that mean he watched me all this time and thought of me as an unfaithful person? What did he think while I was with Garett? "Ari!" Prince Erik screamed as he continued chasing after me. I could not let him catch me and frantically continued running away. He suddenly caught me by my wrists. "Let go of me!" I screamed at him. "No! You will run away again if I do!" Prince Erik said. "No!" I fell to my knees and began sobbing. "Ari, why are you crying?" Prince Erik asked. If only you did not remember anything...things would not have to be more difficult than it already is. "Let go!" I screamed at him. "I am tired of you always forcing me to go with your whims! That is why I left you when I returned to this life." "That is a lie, Arielle! We were happily married for over a year and were together ever since we were children. How can you say that you do not have feelings for me anymore?" Prince Erik asked. "Your Highness, if I may be honest, I think that you have a misconception about how marriage is. Marriage between Nobles usually mean only one thing...political advantage. That was the same for us and even both of our parents," I said. "Why would you break off our engagement? It would have been politically advantageous for your family to enter in the royal family, yet you chose to break off our engagement...for what reason? Can you say that no personal feelings were involved in your decision making?" Prince Erik asked. "If I had to name a reason, it would be that you fell in love with me despite one day bing King," I said. "...What does that have to do with anything?" Prince Erik asked. Your position has everything to do with it. If you were just a simple man and I as a weak lovable woman, we would easily be happy together forever. "It would have been better if you just continued hating me. It would have been bearable to marry you for duty then. Not once, but several times, you have constantly protected me at the expense of yourself. You are the type to sacrifice everything for the people you love, but I cannot say that I approve of your behavior. As King, the most Noble person in the kingdom, you should know above everyone else that we follow noblesse oblige...We simply do not live for just the people we care for," I said cruelly. "I do not understand, Arielle...You are telling me that I should not have saved you in our first lives?" Prince Erik asked. That is exactly why we are all hurting...It is because of your love for me that everyone around us is suffering. No, it is all because I cannot let you go of you in my heart, so I will be as cruel as possible to you. "You are weak...Your feelings hinder your thoughts and lead you to make rash decisions. As King, you need to put yourself first and learn how to abandon things and not act like a Hero. No one ever asked you to! When I broke off our engagement, I was doing you a favor, Your Highness," I said with a twisted smile on my face. "A favor? Breaking my heart was a favor?" Prince Erik asked as he was on the verge of tears. My heart trembled from the bitterness in my soul that continued seeping out from my core. As I thought, God is especially cruel to me by constantly testing my love and devotion towards this person... "Arundel will only benefit from a King who can think rationally and will not be swayed by personal feelings," I said. "...I am defective because I love you? How does that make any sense!" Prince Erik screamed as he tried to grab me by my shoulders. I avoided his touch by pping away his hands that I loved so much before. "...If you were a perfect Prince, you would choose your country over your own personal feelings." He was already a perfect Prince. It was just that his heavy feelings tended to cloud his judgement... "...In other words, you choose protecting this country over loving me?" he asked he covered his eyes with one hand. I wanted to shout that it was not true...and that there was no way that I could love anything more than him. "Yes...I would choose this country over you any day," I answered him coldly. Protecting this country is the best way that I can help you. I know that very well. That is why I can spit out these razor sharp like words. What I want for Erik is for him to love himself and throw away his self- sacrificial tendencies. So long as he is alive and well, that is all that matters... My resolve wavered slightly when I saw his tears falling down his face. I choked up but quickly regained myposure. I wed my hands deeply to the point where I felt blood dripping from my hands. "You are the most defective Prince I have ever met before," I said as I tried to keep my gaze on him. "Answer me this...Was our marriage all a lie? Did you really not love me?" Prince Erik asked. "There are many couples that form marriages from arranged marriages. Some even eventuallye to love their partner after some time, while others unfortunately end up in loveless marriages. As your Queen, I supported you with all of my heart, but there was never any love. The person I loved was never you. Deep down, I have always...always hated you," I said cruelly. I cried for a long time after that. Half of it was because of the harsh words I said to him. The other half had to do with the fact that we were both still deeply in love with each other. I love this country... It was because we met here that I was able to meet Erik. However, it is not enough if I am the only one who loves him, so I will make him a King who is loved by their people as well as give him the most lonesome and insufferable seat in the whole world... Chapter 80: Fianc茅es Hate Count [Prince Erik] Chapter 80: Fianc¨¦e''s Hate Count [Prince Erik] [Prince Erik''s Perspective] I have seen my fianc¨¦e''s painting up close and have seen here to the Castle many times but have never had a proper first meeting with her in person. Even though our first meetings were an entire mess, I oddly felt inclined to see her again, so I requested to see her many times, but was refused because she was ill. Eventually, I heard that she ran away from me to another country and grew disheartened. Prince Erik: 0 Arielle''s hate count: 1 When I saw her again, she had stumbled into my school. She did not make anyrge reaction, so I teased her a bit by pretending not to know who she was and lending her my outstretched hand when she fell. She did not appreciate my efforts to walk her home either, so I let her be. Prince Erik: 0 Arielle hate count: 2 From then on, I heard that she was attending school the same Academy as me. It was only as expected since she was a very beautiful person. The rumors of a beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair and light blue eyes seemed to be the only person that everyone could talk about, but the name used by her was different to her actual name. The only reason why she would change her name is obviously because she did not want me knowing about who she was. Prince Erik: 0 Arielle hate count: 3 I knew that she liked frequenting the Library often, but did not know how to approach her, so I would often circle the ground below it, while I wondered how to approach her. When I worked up the courage to go to the Library, I met him. "What is the Crown Prince of Arundel doing here?" Garett asked as he blocked me from entering the Library. "...I wanted to check out a few books," I said as I tried moving past him. He blocked me again and gave me a smile that he usually never really shows and that sent shivers down my spine. "Your servants always get books for you," Garett said. "Once in a while, I would like to look for my own books," I said. "Allow me to look for the books for you," Garett suggested. Somehow, I feel that he is blocking me from seeing her... "No need...I can look for them myself," I said. He suddenly grabbed me and told me bluntly, "Your presence makes her feel ufortable..." I lost my will to go in the Library ever since he said that... Prince Erik: 0 Arielle''s hate count: 4 I had a chance to speak to her again at our Academy''s masquerade ball. When we were dance partners, I knew just then that she was the same person I was always looking at. "...Your hair is loose," I said. "Thank you for telling me," she said as she broke our hold. I escorted her across the ballroom and had caught her fallen flower ornament. Her hair unraveledpletely and settled in soft waves. She appeared like a beautiful fairy in the moonlight. "Allow me to fix it," I said as I ced the ornament back in her soft hair. "Thank you very much for everything. This is a very important item to me." "It''s no problem...Are you a fan of roses? Your outfit contains many of them." "My favorite flower is actually pink peonies...My aunt is the one who helped make my dress. She is a fan of roses. Are you interested in roses yourself?" She must like flowers! It is great that we can share amon interest! "I have a hobby of nting and raising flowers, so I was rather intrigued by how the imitation flowers closely resembled that real roses. If we are talking about my personal interests, I prefer white ca lilies." "...Is there a reason why?" "I like the symbolism behind it...The flower is considered a symbol for resurrection and rebirth because it returns every year after winter. These flowers are sturdy as they are stunning and can withstand frosts and can regrow in cases after being cut, yet they have such short lifespans. I think it''s beautiful how it tries to live its life out to the fullest despite holding in such high amounts of poison," I said with a smile. I hoped that she would be impressed with my knowledge of flowers, but she seemed distraught instead. "...Excuse me," she said as she ran away. N?velDrama.Org ? content. I do not understand about what I did wrong. All I did was talk about flowers, but why did she have to run away? I ran after her. It seems that I am always running after this person, but I do not hate it... I collided with Garett. He usually hates events like these, so I never expected for him toe to the dance. "What are you doing here?" I asked him. "I am obviously looking for her...She ran away because of you. You disturb her. That is why she continuously runs away from you," he said. I disturb her? I am the one who is her fianc¨¦, not this guy... "Are you her guardian then? Who are you to constantly stand in my way?" I asked him. "...I actually care about her feelings. What about you, Your Highness?" Garett asked. Did she send this person to get in my way because she hated me this much? I could not say anything back and ended right at a standstill. It was not until shortly afterwards that I heard she specifically requested to call off our engagement. I was baffled, distraught, but mostly hurt at this. We never had one proper conversation, yet she chose to call off our engagement without a single exnation. Why? Why... Prince Erik: 0 Arielle''s hate count: 100 When I entered the Royal Academy, I had methodically found a way to send Garett away on official business for some time. I used that small period of his absence to approach her again. I invited her out for tea. I thought that she might refuse, but she epted my offer against my expectations. As I watched her drink tea in front of me, I found that she was even more beautiful than I remembered. I always had to watch her from afar but found her beauty incredibly entrancing up close. Then, I heard the fateful words that brought me incredible pain... "...I have a lover...My lover''s name is Garett Alvin. I am in love with Garett Alvin!" she said. For whatever reason, my heart screamed in agony. I never got a chance to get close to her, and that person always stuck to her side like a thorn. I should have expected this result, but I could not ept it in the deepest fibers of my being... I nked out for the next few moments. In those few moments, she disappeared as if she were just a mirage. However, she left just enough damage behind for my heart to break into pieces. Even though she was my fianc¨¦e, I never even got a chance to show her my heart before she broke it... Even though I was in pain from watching my former fianc¨¦e stand beside Garett, I still wanted to support her from behind. I made sure that no bad rumors came her way and made sure that unsavory characters would nevere near her. It was my sincerest wish for her to be happy even if she was not with me... One day, I had a dream where I was holding her hand andughing by her side in a cathedral. The scene was our wedding. It all seemed so real from thece of her white dress to the touch of her soft velvet like hair. After waking up from the dream, I found myself feeling bitter after realizing it was just a dream. However, next day after the next, it was as if I was living a second life in my dreams. I was witnessing things I never saw before, hearing things that I never knew about, and touching things that I never dreamed about touching before. One of those dreams consisted of me touching Arielle''s soft skin and touching her neck where a small heart shaped mole was on the back of her neck. Such details made me wonder what the dreams meant. When I saw her lift her long flowing hair into a ponytail, I saw the mole I had only seen in my dreams before and gasped. The dreams were like a portal to an alternate life where my fianc¨¦e actually loved me... If there was a chance that I could still be with her, I wanted to take that chance! As I was thinking about that, I was suddenly filled with a significant number of images and conversations that filled my head that all led up to one fatal memory where I had been stabbed while protecting her, but I did not die then. It was when I saw that she had killed herself upon thinking that I was dead that I died right afterwards. Despair...sadness...and rage filled up thest bitter parts of my memory. I could not protect the person I loved the most. I felt so dammed about myself for failing to protect my wife and child that I was willing to ept all of the bitter memories of this life if it meant that I could save her from suffering in this life. However, once again, I saw her falling from a nearly fatal blow from protecting me. She gave me the excuse that she saved me because there was no one else that could take my ce on the throne. In what seemed like her dying moments, she continuously told me bitter words. "...Why do you keep lying?" I asked her. "...I never loved you...I have always hated you," she said. I deserve all of her hatred... Prince Erik: 0 Arielle''s hate count: 100,000,000 Chapter 81: Miserable Chapter 81: Miserable It is my fault the world bes distorted... Everything I said earlier pointed out that my love for Prince Erik was the sole reason for his death. I learned that his own father and current King Arundel abandoned his own lover for political power. To anyone else who did not understand a Noble''s duty, doing that would be abominable, but I understood him fully and would have done the same thing if I were him. As a Prince, he was trained since young to be fair and righteous. His retainers gave him limited toys, would purposefully give him tasteless food along with tasty food, and eliminated anything he especially liked as well. Each action was made in order to condition Prince Erik in order to avoid creating a tyrant who lived on violence and greed. Even I as his would be fianc¨¦e was chosen because of several factors consisting of my family''s pedigree, education, beauty, fertility, ability to be fair, and slightly dull personality that would make it difficult to get strongly attached to. I ruined it all... While I was receiving education on how to be a proper Crown Princess, I was constantly told not to think that I owned Prince Erik''s heart. Many of my predecessors fell to ruin that way and either made a mess of the harems by spreading rumors of each other, hitting each other, and even poisoning each other. When they realized that they could still not win the Kings'' love, they either hung themselves, cut themselves, and or went mad. On our wedding day, he swore to love and protect me through everything. I just smiled bitterly because I knew that he could not do that because of his position. One wife does not automatically put me above Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. the rest of the kingdom. I loved him and considered him as my Hero, but that did not mean that I wanted him to choose me over kingdom. Having such thoughts would only mean ruin to the kingdom. Our rtionship was toxic because of his deep devotion to me. I ruined him when I desired his love and made him develop a need to protect me. He encountered many hardships in order to protect me. Some of them consisted of him ignoring his Advisors in taking anymore brides for political marriages and constantly pushing himself with more work than necessary. He does not care enough for himself. When he encountered me, his thoughts clouded from his need to protect me. That is why he did not hesitate to jump in front of a dagger despite being King. That is the most unforgivable act he could do as a ruler...act on emotions. I tried to break off everything in order to redo our love so that it would not be possible this time again. "I can assure Prince Erik a life of happiness by exiting his life. I was the one being led on a ruse," I said to myself as I covered my face with my hands. "Haha...this is true despair." I told him that I hated him because his love was overbearing. That could not be further from the truth. I wanted to drown in his love but at what cost? He was the type to give his all for everything including love even if it meant hurting himself, so I had to do it. I had to be the necessary evil to change him to a person who puts rationality above his own feelings. By doing so, he will never try to sacrifice himself again for someone else... I felt sorry about his next partner but also wanted him to learn how to be a little more self-centered from our messed-up rtionship. The rain hade down in a downpour on my body as I walked back to the Academy after getting off of my carriage halfway. I wanted to walk a little longer in the rain. I felt as if the world was crying at my misery with me when the grey skies started pouring rain down on me and my self-pity. Usually, I would have hated the rain. However, today I felt unusuallyforted by how the rain made my entire body go numb. I soon saw an umbre go over my head. "Arielle..." Along with the pitter patter sounds of the rain, a familiar voice and face came by to soothe my heart as if it were predetermined by a cruel God. "Garett..." Did hee looking for me in this rain? "Follow me...You are soaked to the bone," Garett said as he pulled me by his hand. Garett brought me back to his room and handed me a towel over my head for me to clean myself off. "...I am going to start the bath for you," Garett said as he went to the bathroom. I followed after Garett and pushed him into the bath and got in the full-sized bathtub with him and hugged him. "...Can you hug me tightly in your arms?" I asked. Garett sighed. "...We will have to remove our wet clothes eventually," Garett said as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. After our bath together, Garett handed me one of his shirts and a pair of shorts. The shirt went past the length of the shorts, making it appear as a dress on me. I saw that Garett''s hair was still dripping a bit from the bath and waved at him toe closer while I was sitting on the bed. Garettplied and walked over. He leaned over me with his hand against the bed and kissed me gently over my lips. I grabbed his cor and kissed him for a little longer until I felt his hair drip onto my corbone. I soon pressed on his chest and pushed him sit on the ground and turned him around so that I could properly dry his hair. "You should dry your hair properly," I said as I gently rubbed his hair with the towel. It almost feels like I am taking care of a child. "It is fine...My hair normally dries very quickly anyways," Garett said as he removed my hands from his head. "Having such naturally silky straight hair is not a proper excuse to be careless," I scolded. He soon turned around and began unbuttoning my shirt from the bottom-up and stopped just right below my breasts. Since I jumped into the bath with all of my clothes on, I was not wearing any underwear underneath my clothes. Garett could probably see everything from his view. "...Garett," I said shyly. Garett soon brought out some scissors and cut away at the bandages around my waist. "I am going to rece the bandages and dressing, so do you mind keeping your shirt upwards?" Garett asked. This man may be a Saint in disguise... Does he really not feel anything from seeing me this scantily d? I lifted my shirt anyways and let Garett redo the covering over my wound. Garett seemed a little sad when he stared at my wound. "...The wound has closed, but the doctors have said that it may lead to scarring," I said solemnly. "I do not wish for you to look at it too closely." "Even though this injury may be because of him, I want you to remember that I will find you beautiful no matter what you look like," Garett said. "Sweet words..." "If it ever bothers you, I can always leave kiss marks to cover them up when it heals properly," Garett whispered in my ears. How innovational... I wrapped my hands around his face and kissed him. Garett soonid me on my back and hovered over me and pulled the covers over the both of us. I soon felt his arm slip under my head as he pulled my head towards his chest. I waited for a while, but nothing seemed to be happening. "...Garett?" "Oh, I almost forgot to give you a kiss goodnight. Goodnight Arielle," Garett said as he kissed my forehead and closed his eyes. "...Goodnight," I said in a slightly disappointed tone. I rested on Garett''s chest while feeling incredibly antsy that he had not tried to go any further with me even after my wounds had closed. It really is a shame that I am not healed yet... Chapter 82: The Other Child Chapter 82: The Other Child After a few more weeks of checkup, the doctors had cleared me and told me that my injury was healing so well that there would not be any scarring. Garett came to pick me up after my checkup. I was so incredibly happy to see that I had someone I love waiting for me. "Arielle, how was your checkup?" Garett asked with a sweeter smile than usual. My heart squeezed upon seeing his smiling face. "It was great," I said as I ran to him and hugged his chest. "Let''s go on a date then," Garett said as he took my hand and pulled me along. He seems a bit more forceful than usual, but I did not mind since I was happy just being with him. "Where are we going?" I asked him. "Let me buy you some clothes," Garett said as he pulled me into adies'' boutique. "You like tan- and maroon-colored clothes, right?" Huh? Did I ever mention my favorite colors to him before? "Yes, I do," I said. "Please find me a blouse that is of a tan color and can be matched with several kinds of outfits and a maroon-colored skirt with a high waist," Garett asked the clerk. Garett usually does not care much about fashion. "Right away, Sir," the shop clerk said as she brought out an outfit thatpletely aligned with what I usually like to wear. I tried it on immediately and saw that his selection suited me quite well. The blouse was slightly tan and had frilly sleeves that were not overbearing, and the skirt fitfortably around my waist. "You look beautiful, Arielle," Garett said with a smile as he slipped on a red flower hair essory into my hair. "...I would like to wear this out as is," I told the shop clerk. As I was about to pay, Garett beat me to it first. "This is to celebrate your discharge from the hospital," Garett said. "...Garett," I said with a happy face. My heart welled up with joy as I hugged his arm. "...You do not mind if I continue holding your arm, yes?" I asked with upturned eyes. Garett showed me a shy face as he epted my clinginess. Garett took me around to a bookstore, a hip restaurant that served lunch, and even took me on a romantic walk through the park. "Are you not enjoying yourself?" Garett asked. I was enjoying myself but found myself lost in thought. "...Are you forcing yourself?" I asked as I pulled Garett aside behind a tree. "Forcing myself?" "You usually do not like doing activities like these," I said. "...Can''t I do something like this for you once in a while?" Garett asked as he rubbed my cheeks with his thumb. I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed his lips. "...I am not saying that you can''t," I said as I held his shoulders. "I see...You actually wanted me to pay attention to you this way," Garett said as he leaned down and cupped his hands around my face. "...If you know, the decency is not to ask," I said with a slight pout. Garett closed his eyes as he came in for another kiss. I closed my eyes as well and waited for his kiss. "Arielle?" I snapped my eyes open and looked in the direction of the voice. "Garett? Who is the person in front of me?" The person standing in front of me had blonde hair...Prince Erik. I shoved Prince Erik away and began running away from both of them. How cruel of him to y with my feelings! "Arielle!" The one who caught me was the real Garett. "I am sorry! I did not know that it was Prince Erik! I thought he was you, so I held his arm and even kissed him. His hair was ck, but I did not recognize him at all," I exined frantically. "...I know that you would not go behind my back and see him. You spent so many years trying to avoid him, and most of all, I trust you," Garett said. "How can you trust me so much? I am still hiding so much from you, yet you continue to blindly believe in me all of the time," I said. "It is because I do not want to touch your trauma. You are always crying because of him, so I do not want to force you to say something you are notfortable talking about," Garett said. I grabbed his hands. "I want to tell you now," I said as I pulled him along. For whatever reason, I brought him to the school Library. We went to the furthest parts of the Library where the sun barely shines through and sat on the ground between the bookcases. "...You really like the Library, don''t you, Arielle?" Garett asked with a slight scoff. "I am sorry if it is a bad location," I said. "No, I like Libraries too," Garett said as he held my hand. "I fell in love with you in one after all." I pulled on Garett''s hair. "Is it a wig?" I asked myself. "Ow...Ow...Ow! It is not a wig. This is my real hair," Garett said as he pulled my hands off of his head. "I am sorry..." "It is fine. Actually, it is better if you are more alert from now on so that mix-ups like this do not happen again. You should be this alert from now on. Understand?" "Yes...Um...now..." I tried gathering my thoughts about what I wanted to say to Garett but did not know where to go from there, so I kept opening my mouth and stopping from there. "...How about I tell you a story?" Garett suggested. "A story?" I asked. "There once was a pitiful woman. She was forced to marry a man who was in love with another woman. Her husband respected her and never cheated on her, but she was always so miserable because he was always so standoffish towards her and never told her that he loved her. Then, one day, Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. she had twins. Having twins was a very not a very auspicious asion as twins were always an ominous sign that marked the failure of a kingdom particrly in a Royal Family. So, ording to the advice of the people then, she gave away one of her children to her brother who could not have children of his own, while she brought up the child who resembled her husband the most," Garett said as he held my hand. "Garett, are you..." "That child grew up in a home where the wife thought continuously thought that her husband had brought in a child from a mistress. She hated that child and would often lock that child in darkness for several days. It got to the point where the child foundfort in being in the dark. Maybe that is why he prefers being the moody dark ambiance of libraries growing up..." "How did the child find out about his parents?" "...That child met his biological other half. His face was just like his, but he had hair like the sun and a mother who seemed to care for him. When the child asked the only man, he knew as his father about the other child, he revealed to the child that he was not his biological father but his uncle. The uncle arranged for the child and the biological mother to meet one day. Instead of apologizing, she just cursed at the child and told him to take the child away as if he was a sickness. If the child knew that he was going to be shunned like that, he wished that he never met her in the first ce." My heart began to fill with grief and sorrow from listening to Garett''s lonely story. Unable to say any "When the boy who was filled with hatred, the other half appeared to him like the sun and brought him around as a ything, often changing clothes with him to confuse others. For a while, the child was able to experience a short life as the Prince. One day, the child received a present from his biological father. The man who never knew that he had another son gave the child a book of poetry. It was his first and only gift that he ever received from his real presents, so he kept it a secret from the Prince that he received a book and kept it by his side. For whatever reason, the child could never read the book even though reading was his passion. The book, the affection he received, and the parents who raised him all never felt like they ever belonged to him but to the child that lived in the sun...For his whole life, the child lived aplete lie hindered in the shadow of the blessed child blessed by the sun." Chapter 83: Bitterness Chapter 83: Bitterness A long time ago, I gave up my book to King Arundel as a way he could make up to his distant son who also loved books. King Arundel ended up giving the book to Garett who dressed up as Prince Erik for whatever reason. Garett epted the book as it was the only thing he ever received from his parents, but he knew that it never belonged to him, so he could never bring himself to read the book no matter how much he loved reading books. No wonder the book I gave to King Arundel ended up with Garett... My heart was filled with terrible grief and sorrow so much that my eyes continuously dropped tears, expending all of the fluid in my body as if my entire body wanted to weep with Garett. In my blurred eyes covered with tears, I saw Garett awkwardly smiling as if I was the one who needed "Why are you crying so much?" Garett asked as he wiped my tears with his handkerchief. This person had no one else who would cry for him. I wanted to be at least cry the tears of a hundred people for him. "...It must have been very lonely," I said. Garett pulled me into his chest and hugged me tightly. "For the time I did not have you by my side, it was really quite lonely," Garett said. In my first life, Garett was epted into the Royal Castle as Prince Erik''s cousin for a short while, but he was forced out because baseless rumors of me and his infidelity erupted throughout the Castle making it difficult for him to show face. He worked so hard to get epted but had to leave right afterwards. Garett lived a lonely life and ultimately died a lonely death in my first life all because of me. I felt sorry that I could not be there for him in my first life with him. I redeemed myself a little in this life, but how did Garett feel when I constantly unted my feelings for the person who was the main cause of his trauma? Was he disgusted with me? Did he hate me then? "...I am sorry that I could not have met you sooner," I said as I rubbed my eyes with my hands. "You really are too kind," Garett said as he caressed my head. "Let me admit an embarrassing secret..." "An embarrassing secret?" I asked. "...I was a little jealous when I heard that guy got engaged to you, so I dressed up as him and nned on saying horrible things to you when we first met, but then you one upped me and said everything I was nning to say," Garett said as his entire face turned red. "When Prince Erik pushed me into a fountain, that was you!" I said in surprise. "...We had switched ces a few times before. That was one of those times...While I was with you, he was in my bed sick at the time," Garett admitted with a very shy facial expression. I chuckled. "...A little jealous? Does that mean you liked me before then too?" I asked. He turned his gaze to the side as if he was being shy. "Of course, I was jealous, I was the one who saw your marriage painting first," Garett said shyly. "I am d that I look like this then," I said with a smile. "Your looks did attract me at first, but I like you for many other reasons. I like how you are very sweet, a little of an airhead, and make various faces that show you enjoy eating," Garett said as he rubbed my cheeks together. "How embarrassing..." "I like you a lot more after getting to know you...You looked just like the Fairy Princess in the story my biological mother read to me once. The kind pink haired Fairy Princess could heal wounds with her tears. She cried for everyone but herself in happiness as well as sadness." Even if he recalls such sweet memories, are they not all of him disguised as Prince Erik and not of himself? All of those memories were painted with someone else''s color... "I do not understand why there is such a ridiculous custom of abandoning twins. If I were Queen...if I were Queen, I would not have..." Abandon my children? Do I even have the right to say such a thing? I was the one who killed myself along with my child...deserted and killed without a moment''s hesitation. I could not stand the loneliness and despair from Prince Erik''s death and killed myself along with my unborn child. I might as well have abandoned that child. "Arielle, what''s wrong?" In reality, I was not much better than the mother who had abandoned Garett. My heart filled with terrible disgust for myself. All of the bitterness in my soul came back and multiplied as if I had been growing a demon in the darkest depths of my heart. "...Once you know my secret, you will think of me as a disgusting person as well," I said as I pushed Garett''s chest away. I quickly got up and began running as far as I could from this person. I thought and thought about telling Garett about the memories of my first life...the beginning, middle, and about the dreadful end. What I forgot was that the dreadful end also consisted of me taking my life for the most selfish reason possible...the pain and loneliness of missing someone else. On top of that all, I killed the only life I ever nurtured inside my body. Before the child could ever speak, cry, or even open its eyes to the world it was created in...all chances of life and freedom were ceased because one foolish mother to be. To this person who longed for a true family, I could not reveal to him that I had abandoned my own child and be happy with him. I lost my right to be beside this person, or rather anyone for that matter... It was then that one of the bookcases suddenly caved in and entirely fell on top of me. In my daze, I saw books all around me and that the red view blocking my right eye was actually my own blood covering my entire eye. Even the muffled screamsing from Garett''s voice calling out to my name slowly diluted into N?velDrama.Org ? content. nothingness. It was probably God''s cruel joke or mercy gift in helping me part from Garett...I only wished that this parting did not have to be so bitter. Chapter 84: Forgotten Chapter 84: Forgotten When I awoke, I found that I wasying in an all-white hospital room with bandages all over my arms and hands. I sat up not realizing where I was and suddenly felt a pressing headache and touched my head to find that I had a bandage wrapped around my head as well. My memories seemed strangely vague... Did I fall down a flight of stairs? Someone with ck hair was sitting andying his head on the bed by my side. This familiar appearance? The person soon squirmed around and lifted his head. His hair seemed all over the ce because he was resting. This unkempt looking person was definitely Garett, my husband''s cousin, but why did he appear younger looking than usual? "You are awake, Arielle," Garett said with a relieved expression. "Where am I?" I asked indifferently. "You were in an ident...a bookcase fell on you. Do you remember any of that?" Garett asked. I was in an ident? Howe I do not remember anything? My head began stinging... A vivid image of Garett''s decapitated head being pierced through a wooden pole suddenly surfaced into my mind. "Are you alright, Arielle?" Garett asked as he tried to touch my head. I pped his hands away. "Who are you?" I asked. "What do you mean by who am I? Do you not remember me? I am obviously Garett," he said. Garett died! This person is obviously a fake! "That is a lie! Even if you wear that mask of a skin, you cannot fool me. How dare you pretend to be him? You are obviously a fake! An imposter!" I screeched at him. Erik soon came in with a bouquet of pink peonies, my favorite flowers. "You are finally awake, Arielle," Erik said. He looked just as young as when he was a teenager. "...Erik?" Erik asked that Garett leave while Erik tried to calm me down. He exined to me that this world and timeline was slightly different from the one I came from and that I was now the sixteen-year-old me and not the twenty-year-old me who witnessed Erik''s stabbing. "I am so sorry...I do not remember anything after you got stabbed," I said solemnly. "Stop...the most important thing is that we are alive right now and that there is no one that can hurt either of us anymore. Lady Kaya Ouchi and the perpetrators behind the incident have also already paid for all of their crimes," Erik exined. "...I see. If this is the past of an alternate world, does that mean that Garett I saw earlier is not really an imposter?" I asked. "...He is definitely Garett," Erik answered. "Then, I have said some shameful things to him...I should apologize to him right away," I said as I tried to get up from bed. I was suddenly met with an intense pain in my back and lower spine. "You are still injured. Stay here while I go get him," Erik said as he went outside. It seemed that they had quite a long conversation beforeing back in. "I am sorry about earlier, Garett. My memory is fuzzy from waking up," I said. "I understand...Then, I''ll get going now," Garett said. "You are leaving?" I asked. "...It is better if I am not here," Garett said indifferently as he left. He still waited to see me before leaving... "Erik, what is my current rtionship with Garett in this life? He waited for me to wake up by my side this whole time. It seems a bit strange, yes?" I asked Erik. "...Will you let me stay by your side while you recover?" Erik asked as he held my hand. Erik seems a bit strange as well. Such a strange thing to ask when we are already engaged... "Of course, you are my precious husband...or dear fianc¨¦ as of right now," I said as I grasped his hand. "Yes!" he responded happily. Maybe I am thinking too much...spending time with Erik is what makes me the happiest after all. I saw the books of my favorite authors on the side of my bed along with a canister of my favorite tea and snacks. "You prepared so much for me," I said. I felt so touched that Erik put so much effort in making my stay in the hospital sofortable. "...Yeah," Erik said awkwardly. Strange... "I almost feel a little bad about taking your time. You must be very busy, Erik," I said. "What did you just say?" Erik asked. "...I feel bad about taking up your time," I repeated. "No, thest part..." "Erik?" "Can you say my name a few more times?" Erik asked. Iughed. "Erik...Erik...Erik...Erik, has it been that long since I said your name?" I asked. "...It hasn''t, but I like hearing you say my name. I do not get to hear it often," Erik said. Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. "What are you talking about? Your parents and your retainers should say your name more than me," I said. "They all call me by Prince and just Prince. I am nothing more but a title to them," Erik said. "His Majesty and Her Majesty do not all you by your name?" I asked. "Sometimes I would sneak out of the Castle when I was younger. I would assume the identity of a boy who was not a Prince. Even if people did not necessarily call me by the name Erik, I was still happy to encounter people who would not talk to me formally all of the time. Even though you were my fianc¨¦e, it took you several years before you could refer to me as just Erik," Erik said. "...I am sorry about that," I said. "Also, it feels a lot more special when you say it, so whether you tell me you like me or you hate me with my name, I still feel a bit happy when you do so," Erik said with a slightly sad smile. "...What a strange man to feel happy when someone says that they hate you," I said. Erik soon slipped on someical ck frames with a pudgy pink nose and full mustache with a long beard. "I would say that this strange old man would like anything you do to him," Erik said as he brushed his fake beard with his fingers. Iughed at his cheesyedy bit. "You are such a strange person at times," I said as I held my stomach from the stinging pain. "Ow..Ow..." Erik quickly took of theical prop and looked worried. "I am sorry about that! I was not thinking of your health. Should I call for a doctor?" Erik asked frantically. I pat his head gently. "I am fine, so continue being like the sun as you always are," I said with a smile. Being with him like this is happiness to me...but why do I feel uneasy? Chapter 85: Suffocating Chapter 85: Suffocating For the next few weeks, I stayed in the hospital with Erik almost constantly by my side monitoring my health. He continuously entertained me with exciting stories or would bring me books to entertain myself with. My best friend Charlotte and a nice girl named Grace also visited me. No matter how much I wanted to remember Grace, nothing came up as if my memory was being purposely blocked by some force. In almost no time at all, my physical injuries healed but my memories of this alternate youth life did not seem like returning at all. On top of that all, I noticed amon topic that everyone seemed to avoid talking about. Not one person told me about my rtionship with the current Garett. Erik told me stories about myself from this timeline that I almost found unbelievable. I had saved my mother from her fatal illness, practiced martial arts and swordsmanship, and even became part of the Beautification Committee. I could not remember anything other than a longing attachment to someone in the depths of my memory... "My mother avoided death in this life...I am so happy to hear that," I said with a smile on my face. "She has been doing very well since I hadst spoken to her. We can go visit her together once you are better if you wish," Erik said as he held my hand. My heart feltforted, but a slight unease came over. "Do you remember the day of my mother''s funeral?" I asked. The memory of Erik sitting beside me while I was mourning for my mother''s loss continues to be one of my strongest and deepest memories with Erik. "I do apologize for that day. Even though the Duchess lost her life to quickly, I could note back from my schooling abroad in time to console you," Erik said as he squeezed my hand. Huh? "I could have sworn..." "If I was there, I would have given you a strong hug like this!" Erik said as he brought me to a strong hug. I clearly remember Erik sitting by my side for hours after the funeral because I refused to leave. The Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. face in my memory suddenly began fading and turned into a pitch-ck nothingness. I was suddenly filled with a deep dread. "...Erik, please tell me something," I pleaded. "What is it, Arielle?" Erik asked as he released me. "I am confused. Why are even my most precious memories clouded with darkness?" I asked Erik. Erik hugged me tightly. "Don''t force yourself to remember anything if it hurts you," Erik said. It is not that it hurts as much as there is an empty feeling in the back of my mind like I am forgetting something important. Erik does not seem like he wants to say anything because he worries for me. However, this kindness of his slightly suffocating. I thought I was used to his coddling and overbearing love, but somehow there is a slight disconnection. "I am fine," I said as I pushed Erik away. "Ari, if you are ufortable anywhere, I want you to tell me. You don''t have to push yourself all of the time," Erik said. "As your fianc¨¦e, is it only natural for me to push myself all of the time?" I asked. "Pardon?" "There is no such thing as the perfect fianc¨¦e. It is even worse if I am going to be crowned as Crown Princess, so I should work hard at regaining my lost memories. It will be difficult if I have to redo everything when I re-take all of those sses again," I said. "You don''t need to do that," Erik said. Don''t force yourself...don''t push yourself...don''t need to do that...all sound considerate, but I do not like the sound of those words for some reason. I think I wanted you to tell me that you to tell me to do my best as I always have been doing. I feel like I am alone right now. It is a little bit stifling... "...That reminds me. Is Garett noting back to see me at all? Is he still mad at me?" I asked. "...He is not the kind to stay mad at you," Erik said with an awkward smile. There it is again... Why is he awkwardly smiling like that? "What are you hiding from me?" I asked. "It is better that you don''t remember," Erik said. "Am I too weak to handle the truth?" I asked. "...Exactly," he answered coldly. Erik showered me in his love, but sometimes was a bit overbearing. He treated me as if I was someone who needed his constant protection. I want to be by his side and protect him too as his equal, but I can probably never be equal to this person because he would never let me be as long as I stay by his side. "...I would like to be alone for now," I said. "I will be back soon," Erik said as he left. The nurse soon came by with some extra pillows. "Thank you for bringing extra pillows...I do not recall asking for extra pillows though," I said. "A boy ordered them for you," she said. "I see...Erik did," I said. "No, it was a different boy. He said that you sleep better when you have lots of pillows around you. You know, the one who has always been by your side, the one with ck hair," she said as she added pillows underneath my back. "Garett?" "Yes, that is the boy''s name," she said. "Did he have ck hair,rge round sses, and a permanent scowl on his face?" I asked as I imitated Garett''s usual scowl by pushing my eyebrows together with my fingers. The nurseughed as if my mimicry of Garett was humorous. "He certainly looks that way when he is talking to people he does not seem to like, but he has a very gentle smile whenever he is with you," she said. "With me?" "He is always around you and always looked at you gently. Whenever you came to the hospital, he always took great care of you day and night, so I always assumed that he was your significant other," she said. Erik is my fianc¨¦...why else would he take care of me? Why is Erik asking me to not remember? Did something happen between us three? Chapter 86: Gratitude Chapter 86: Gratitude How dismal... All of my memories of Garett are from my first life, and not one of them are flowery. My memories with Garett from my first life consist of mostly our arguments, him ying pranks on me, stomping on my feet to near destruction, and screaming insults at me with spit flying into my face. ording to the nurse, she said that this Garett has been by my side the longest, so an investigation was needed in order to recover my lost memories. Charlotte and Grace picked me up from the hospital when it came to discharging me. Both of them were so very helpful. They told me about the sses I had been taking and gave me my well written notes whenever I needed a refresh on my studies. When it came to swordsmanship studies, I was surprised by my own strength and got a little too excited and waved the sword all over the ce so much that others thought of me as a human windmill and unintentionally created a new fad of moving the arms like windmill as new way to stretch. I thought that I would struggle at having conversations with my ssmates the most... When a girl in front of me dropped her handkerchief, I picked it up and dusted it off before handing it back to her. "Lady Arielle picked up my handkerchief for me!" the girl squealed. "Keep it as an ancestral item!" her friend said. I could only smile in return. It was then that I learned that the present me was apparently an idol of worship... I received special treatment when I became Queen but never anything of this scale. Even the usually stiff environment in the school suddenly started appearing warmer and more colorful than my memories of where everyone was mindful of each other and just thought about themselves. I never thought that I would see other people willing to help others even though they would receive no benefit in return. It was as if everyone began rxing... Did me staying by Garett''s side make me and the past change this much? When I arrived at my dorm room for the very first time since my release from the hospital, I had all the answers I needed. My room was filled with various soft toys and gifts that I would never buy myself because I always tried to maintain a Noble image of myself. I could just tell that not one of those gifts were from Erik himself. As I was surrounded with items from Garett, I felt a hole in my heart slowly growing bigger. For whatever reason, I kept looking for him almost as if I was chasing after his ghost. It was then I realized that I could never probably find him because he was most likely avoiding me. It soon came to Graduation Day for the graduating seniors. The ceremony was held outside underneath the blooming cherry blossoms and scattering petals. The teachers all wore ck robes while the graduating ss wore bright red robes and hats. It was a mandatory event, so every graduating student had to attend. I sat with Charlotte and Grace on the cold stone steps with the other families who were all here to celebrate the graduating ss. It did not even take me more than one minute to find him since he was the one giving out a speech as ss valedictorian with a golden tassel and white sash around his neck. The scene was different. In my past memories, it was supposed to be Erik standing there and giving a speech. I always wondered why Erik was ss valedictorian even though Garett clearly had higher intelligence in every way that Erik did not have. Despite the strange situation, the scene felt oddly right when he stood there and gave a speech with a clear and beautiful voice as if that spot was meant to be owned by him. After the speech, everyone including the graduating ss was allowed to move about. I ambushed Garett with a bouquet of flowers when he came down from the stage. "Pink roses?" Garett said with widened surprised eyes. I chose pink roses because they expressed ''gratitude'' in thenguage of flowers. I figured that these would be better than saying ''I''m sorry'' all of the time. "...Congrattions on graduating," I said awkwardly. "...You have caught me," he said with an awkward smile as he epted the roses. He did not seem to be angry or panicked that I caught him as he was leaving the stage, rather he seemed glum and a little skinnier than before. Even his hair was different. The long hair that trailed down the back of his neck was cut short and revealed his pale neck. I felt restless seeing his neck because it reminded me of that day when his neck was not connected... Garett and I went to a nearby bench to sit in the Academy square that was empty from all of the students being at Graduation with their friends and family. "Is it alright to be with me rather than with your family?" I asked. "I heard that you do not remember me...It seems that you still do not have any memories of me," Garett said. "Did I say something wrong?" I asked. "No, it is not your fault that you do not remember...I don''t have any parents or family that care for me," Garett said with a solemn gaze. ...I identally stepped on a touchy subject. Wait...Garett is Prince Erik''s cousin. Why would he say that he does not have family that cares for him? "Garett...I am sorry about that day in the hospital," I apologized. "I already heard your apology before. If it bothered me, I would have said so," Garett said frigidly. "...I called you a fake and an imposter," I said. How can you be fine with what I said? "Yeah...but that is not a lie," Garett said. "Pardon?" I said. "I am a fake and imposter as you have said, so there is no need for an apology. If that is all, then I am leaving," Garett said as he shuffled his robes and stood up. I stood up and grabbed his wrist. "Answer me truthfully then...What am I to you?" I asked. "We were lovers," Garett said in a small voice. My heart thumped a little faster. It almost seemed as if that was the answer I was looking for. "...Lovers?" "Let me say it again. We were lovers," Garett said with a slightly pricklier tone. I soon felt an unkind gaze on me. "Why..." Why is he ring at me? "Not once but many times...you have chosen someone else over me," Garett said coldly. Someone else? Erik''s face popped into my mind. "That is..." "What? Cat got your tongue? You cannot deny that I was always your second priority. What we had was indeed a rtionship, but it was all fake. You suggested that we be fake lovers so that you could tease your fianc¨¦. By making me your fake lover, you could drive your fianc¨¦ mad with jealousy and make himpletely yours," Garett said. "Why would I do such a thing?" I asked. "Who knows? The you right now is much better than the selfish girl you were before," Garett said. "If I was such a selfish person, why did you agree to be my fake lover?" I asked. "We both had something we wanted. You wanted a fake lover who could drive your fianc¨¦ mad with jealousy, and I agreed because I hopelessly liked a selfish girl like you," Garett said. "What merit is there to follow the whims of a selfish girl who does not love you?" I asked. "...I could be near you. You, who had a fianc¨¦, let me be near you because I could serve a purpose for you. It took me so long for me to realize that I was foolish. I hoped that you would turn towards me, but you never once did," Garett said coldly. "...Was our rtionship really that superficial?" I asked. "I can show you proof right now," Garett said. "What proof?" I asked. Content bel0ngs to N?vel(D)r/a/ma.Org. "...You have never once told me those three simple words," Garett said. He did not seem like he was lying, nor did my body seem to believe that it was a lie either. I never once told this person that I loved him. Even if I could say the words right now, it would not feel right since I do not have any memories of the current Garett. "I like you...I love you...I want to be with you..." Such happy words sound so sad when they areing out from his mouth. "Why do you sound so sad?" I asked. "...These are now all words that I havee to hate because of you. All of what I have once felt for you before has equally turned into hate...Now, I can barely stand to look at you," Garett said cruelly. My heart felt like paper that was slowly being ripped into several pieces every time he sent me daggers with his words. "Stop..." I do not want to hear the rest... "Let''s make it simple and clean for the both of us before we make things more difficult and...breakup," Garett said. Those were oddly the words that I wanted to hear the least. As I stood there trying to collect my thoughts, I realized that...I had been dumped. Chapter 87: Selfish [Garett] Chapter 87: Selfish [Garett] [Garett''s Perspective] When I told Arielle about my long-kept secret, I thought about how it could have gone a few ways... "...Once you know my secret, you will think of me as a disgusting person as well," she said with a pained expression as she ran away. I ran after her only to witness an old bookcase fall on top of Arielle. Luckily, there were several students that came by who came to help lift the heavy bookcase. When other students retrieved Arielle, she was bleeding from her head and fighting for maintaining her consciousness. As the other students went to find a doctor or nearby teacher, I stayed by Arielle''s side holding her hand. "Arielle, stay with me. Help ising," I said as I squeezed her hand. "...Garett...Garett...I cannot love you," she said in a daze before fainting. What? A weak voice so piercingly clear told me that she could note to love me. For several years, I carried a deep feeling for this person despite knowing that the person she loved was someone like the sun. A shadow casted from the sun could neverpare, yet I still hoped for a miracle with this person. I could not make her love me... While Arielle was receiving treatment, I had asked her friends Charlotte and Grace to gather Arielle''s favorite books, snacks and tea. I could not bear to leave her side no matter how much pain this person continues to put me through. I had someone inform Prince Erik toe by Arielle''s hospital room. He came momentster covered in sweat and with clothes disheveled. He looked anything but his usual Princely self. He looks exactly like the day I saw him when Arielle was stabbed, all rattled and looking as if his perfect world shattered. "How is Arielle?" Prince Erik asked. I feel bitter when he says her name. "She has bruises all over her body from the bookcase falling on her, but nothing is life threatening because the books also helped cushion her fall. Only her head..." Arielle might have damaged her memory... "Did she hurt her head?" Prince Erik said as he grabbed me by my shoulders. I pushed him off of me. "Don''t touch me," I said coldly. "I''m sorry...I know that you do not like me, but can you at least tell me if this is my fault?" Prince Erik asked. If anyone, it should be my fault...She got caught into an ident after rejecting me from hearing my dirty secret. "...No, it is not your fault," I said. "Why did you call me here?" Prince Erik asked. "...I figured that she wanted to see you, Your Highness," I said. "I pretended to be you earlier and she hates me with a passion. She told me that several times, but I keeping back because I love her," Prince Erik said. "Arielle is a terrible liar...and a selfless self-sacrificial idiot," I said. "Wow, you are mean. I do not understand why she likes you," Prince Erik said. "...She doesn''t," I said quietly. "Pardon?" "Arielle does not carelessly go around telling people that she hates them. If she especially hates someone, she will never voice it out loud. If she especially told you that she hated you, it was probably because you did something to hurt yourself and she wanted you to stop doing it," I said. He covered his face with his hand as if to hide his shocked face. "That can''t be..." "...She is absurdly kind and considerate. There is no such thing as a hateful bone in her body," I said firmly. "If you believed her lies, you were just not looking at her closely enough..." I asked that he go downstairs to get Arielle a bouquet with her favorite peonies. I figured that she might want to see some fresh flowers when she wakes up, especially if they came from someone, she loved the most. I sat by her side and held the tips of her fingers lightly. "...Hey, I brought the person you want to see the most, so please wake up soon," I said in a quiet voice. My happiness consisted of wanting to see your smile even if it was not because of me. I do not mind chastising myself like this if it means that you will wake up soon. I am used to getting hurt but panic at the moment you do. I never knew that my heart could be so frail until I met you. If there was a way for me to take all your misfortune and add it to my own, I would do it in a heartbeat because I love you so much. A littleter, she woke up and changed a little after looking at me. However, she seemed cold and distant much different from her usual self. I almost thought that I was looking at a stranger. She had the same face and same voice, but something was different. "That is a lie! Even if you wear that mask of a skin, you cannot fool me. How dare you pretend to be him? You are obviously a fake! An imposter!" she screamed at me. I wonder what made her say such a thing... Her tone sounded so bitter and sad as if she was drowning in sorrow. Then, as if she saw the light at the end of the tunnel, she called out his name, "Erik..." My heart sunk. It always seems as if I am doomed to lose to this person... My parents, my teachers, the students, and even the only person I ever loved before chose that person over me. I left while he calmed her down. The two were like a perfect painting when next to each other. I just knew that I had no ce beside them... While I was leaving, that Prince asked me to wait for him because he wanted to exin to me something. I waited outside and incidentally overheard their conversation. I learned that their fates had been intertwined since their first lives, they were happily married, I died from protecting her, he got stabbed after protecting her, they both returned to the past, and inevitably met each other and had their fates mingled over and over again. They had such a heartbreaking romance that transcended against time and fate. ...How could Ipete with that? I waited for a while before Prince Erik finished talking to stop talking ande out. We met outside in the hospital square. "...You must have heard everything," he began. "...Yeah, you two are from an alternate future from where you two are married," I said. "She does not have any memories of the current you. Thest memory she has of you is when you died at the hands of The Balik Empire," he said. "...That exins why she called me an imposter. She could not believe that I was alive," I said. "I have a request to make of you...Don''t make her remember you in this life," he said. "Why?" "You ruined her with your death. She does not clearly remember the events after your death, but I remember everything. You ruined her and caused her to be a lonely tyrant. She was miserable every day since you died and filled the emptiness in her by dragging everyone down with her," he said. "I ruined her...What a terrible lie. I do not want to sit here and listen to your nonsense anymore," I said as I got up to leave. "She killed herself!" Arielle did what...killed herself? "What?" "After I got stabbed, I was on the verge of death. She could not forgive herself for having let the both of us die because of her. She only remembers vaguely about the events surrounding your death because it was so traumatizing to her. However, in thosest moments of her life, she remembered you and called out your name! Do you really want to go back to her and force her to relive those memories again? It was already bad enough when she wasing to terms with my death, so don''t go back to her. Don''t make her relive those painful days again," he pleaded. When she said that she could note to love me...was it all because she thinks that she let me die before? "I have seen her cry because of you so many times. What makes you think you are more qualified to stay by her side?" I asked. "...The other you chose me to protect her before you died," he said. "You still let her die in the end!" "It was an ident that I was killed in. Now that all of the circumstances leading up to my idental death has been avoided, I can protect her with all of my might," he said. Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. I do not want to admit that he is the better person or that he is better suited to be by her side. "All of you people are terribly selfish..." Every single person here is terribly selfish...including me. Why did I think that I was fine with her being happy with someone else when I am writhing with jealousy? What is even worse is that very person I am jealous of told me that I was a gue to Arielle in the future. I stood my distance, never asked for anything and am suddenly told to never even look her way. All I ever wanted was to continue looking at her smiling, but I am not even allowed to do that anymore. Not everyone can be as self-sacrificial or as saintly as Arielle... Chapter 88: Spring [Garett] Chapter 88: Spring [Garett] [Garett''s Perspective] "Garett! I bought the snacks for Arielle as you requested," Charlotte Castile said as she came up to me beside Grace Elsie. "...Thank you. She likes to eat snacks while she reads. She will be happy when she received them from you," I said dully. "Is there something wrong?" Charlotte Castile asked. This woman has been frighteningly perceptive ever since I first met her. She was a stark contrast to Arielle despite being her best friend. I do not mix well with this person... "Arielle is experiencing memory problems...She has forgotten all about me," I said. "That is terrible," Charlotte Castile said. "...Please don''t force her to remember me," I asked. "You are her lover...You don''t want her to remember you?" Grace Elsie asked. "Grace! It looks like he has his own reasons," Charlotte Castile said. I thanked them both before leaving. Before I met Arielle, the world was either a dull color or was painted in ck and white. I never paid much to my surroundings since all I needed was a book in my hand. I was content with just that. Then, she entered... It was then that I realized what a spring after winter meant and just how dull and cold my world was before I met her. Arielle taught me what spring was by showing me how beautiful all the colors of spring were on her. The world seems dull again without her by my side for this spring. When I heard that she was discharged from the hospital, I did all that I could to avoid her. It seemed like she was looking for me at some moments. I went as far as breaking into the clocktower that was off-limits to students and hung out there as I watched her from below. I could not avoid her on my Graduation Day when she ambushed me with a bouquet of pink roses and flushed cheeks as I was leaving the stage. It was the most endearing moment that I had ever witnessed before. She was so terribly cute...that I ended up smiling. I took up her invitation to talk by bringing her to sit with me on a bench in the Academy square. It was almost painfully quiet from how all of the other families were back at the ceremony and sending off their If it were not for the rustling of the trees, I think I would have been crushed under the silence which is strange considering that I do not talk that much anyways. Only with Arielle do I want to talk about the whole world to having meaningless conversation with... Maybe it was a bad idea choosing this spot since the cherry blossoms had scattered all over and had fallen on top of Arielle''s hair. She looked as if she was made for spring from how the petals seemed to blend into the ends of her hair. It made me want to touch her even more terribly so than I had intended before. Before I noticed it, I had already extended my hands and touched the ends of her hair ever so slightly to pick out the petals that had dominated the ends of her hair. I could not help myself... How is it possible for someone to look so beautiful covered in cherry blossom petals? She was already incredibly pretty and soft looking. I would have lost all face if I continued looking at her while she was covered in flower petals. Thankfully, she seemed so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice me touching her hair. I had mixed feelings about how her oblivious nature had never fixed itself on its own. "Is it alright to be with me rather than with your family?" she asked as she broke the silence. My foster parents sent a brief letter saying that they would not be attending. There was not one word of congrattions or an apology in that letter, yet it did not bother me one bit. The moment when Arielle gave me flowers was probably the happiest moment of my student career. "I heard that you do not remember me. It seems that you still do not have any memories of me," I said. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked. N?velDrama.Org ? content. Not one thing is her fault. If anyone''s fault, it is this damn world that opposes her happiness. "No, it is not your fault that you do not remember...I don''t have any parents or family that care for me," I said truthfully. "Garett...I am sorry about that day in the hospital," she apologized. I was never mad at her for raising her voice. I was madder at myself for not being able tofort her then. "I already heard your apology before. If it bothered me, I would have said so," I said frigidly. My bad... I did not mean for those words toe out as cold as I thought it would. All I wanted was for her to not be bothered by it. "...I called you a fake and an imposter," she said. "Yeah...but that is not a lie," I said. On top of being a fake and imposter, I am also a liar... "Pardon?" she said. "I am a fake and imposter as you have said, so there is no need for an apology. If that is all, then I am leaving," I said as I shuffled my robes and stood up. She soon stood up and grabbed my wrist. "Answer me truthfully then...What am I to you?" she asked with pleading eyes. Ah, she knows just how to ask for the most unfair questions. In the back, I saw Prince Erik approaching us. He had impable timing as always. "We were lovers," I answered in a small voice. Her big cat like eyes seemed to widen when I said that we were sweethearts. "...Lovers?" It sounds bitterly sweet when ites from her lips. "Let me say it again. We were lovers," I said with a slightly pricklier tone. "Why..." I love you so much that it hurts. "Not once but many times...you have chosen someone else over me," I said coldly. If your memories of me are so painful, it is better if you do not recall them. "That is..." "What? Cat got your tongue? You cannot deny that I was always your second priority. What we had was indeed a rtionship, but it was all fake. You suggested that we be fake lovers so that you could tease your fianc¨¦. By making me your fake lover, you could drive your fianc¨¦ mad with jealousy and make himpletely yours," I said. "Why would I do such a thing?" she asked. The scenes of where we together keep on ying in the back of my mind. "Who knows? The you right now is much better than the selfish girl you were before," I said. "If I was such a selfish person, why did you agree to be my fake lover?" she asked. If only you were selfish... "We both had something we wanted. You wanted a fake lover who could drive your fianc¨¦ mad with jealousy, and I agreed because I hopelessly liked a selfish girl like you," I said. "What merit is there to follow the whims of a selfish girl who does not love you?" she asked. "...I could be near you. You, who had a fianc¨¦, let me be near you because I could serve a purpose for you. It took me so long for me to realize that I was foolish. I hoped that you would turn towards me, but you never once did," I said coldly. "...Was our rtionship really that superficial?" she asked. "I can show you proof right now," I said. "What proof?" she asked. "...You have never once told me those three simple words," I said. She never once told me that she loved me, but I understood her intentions more than anyone. She was someone who preferred speaking with her actions rather than words. I received every single one with sheer happiness, but I do not want to force the memories we shared together if it only means her unhappiness. "I like you...I love you...I want to be with you..." My heart felt like it was slowly being ripped into several pieces every time I told her my true feelings. I had to slyly slip in that short confession in order to protect what was left of my heart. "...Why do you sound so sad?" she asked. My heart is breaking...That is why I am sad. "...These are now all words that I havee to hate because of you. All of what I have once felt for you before has equally turned into hate...Now, I can barely stand to look at you," I said as I gripped my hands. "Let''s make it simple and clean for the both of us before we make things more difficult and...break up." Arielle''s method of using hurtful words to break up with someone proved more effective than I thought. Now, I understand why she chose to use hateful words with Prince Erik as well. She could make the other party speechless as well as deliver damage to both sides. That way we could all share in the pain and suffering together. I like you...I love you...I want to be with you... Only those words were not a lie. I cannot be with you if I know that I will only hurt you in the future. If that other person can make you happy, I am fine with living in misery for the rest of my life. Even these tears of torment are worth it if you can be happy in the end. If memories with me are so painful to you, it is better that you do not have to recall them... Chapter 89: Healthy Chapter 89: Healthy I felt like I lost something when Garett said that we should ''break up''. Something in the back of my head told me to reject it right away, but his pained expression was so true that it stopped me from saying anything else. I was too distraught to notice when Garett left me. Before I knew it, I was left all alone under the scattering cherry blossom trees. In such a beautiful ce, I received the most lonely and saddest breakup speech. What was my other self-thinking about hurting this man by ying with his feelings? Did I think he deserved it? Am I really that awful of a person to y with someone''s feelings to the point that their heart is crying outside of their body? Why does it hurt to see him in pain? Why won''t anyone help fill in the gaps of my missing memory? "Arielle, there you are," Erik said as he ran to me. "...You were looking for me?" I asked. ...You were looking for your cheating fianc¨¦e? No, you would have known everything, since you barely trust me on my own. ...Why did such an ugly thought appear in my head? "My father came in secret. He said that he wanted to see you, so I went looking for you," Erik said as he looked up at the trees. "You were sitting here this whole time?" "Yes," I answered. "I thought that you would have at least a few petals in your hair from sitting underneath the cherry blossoms," Erik said. "You seem disappointed," I said. "Of course...I missed an excuse to touch your lovely hair," Erik said. I snapped my head in the other direction. I should be used to his teasing, but my heart feels uneasy. "You are such a tease," I said "Let''s go see my father now," Erik said as he gently pulled me along by my hand. "Can I see him like this?" I asked. I do not have any memories of this life and I just heard my former fake lover''s mouth that I was cheating on Erik even if it was a false rtionship. "Of course! You may not have your memories, but I can take over and support you whenever you need help," Erik said. Again...I feel oppressed. "I understand..." We soon met up with His Majesty King Arundel who was wearing simple clothes and a brown wig to cover his striking blonde hair. He was casually waiting at a caf¨¦. "It is good to see you looking healthy, Lady Arielle," His Majesty said. "Greetings, Your Majesty. I am honored to have received Your Majesty''s concern," I said as I politely did a curtsy. "Today, I am here as Sir Arun. I wanted to see my son''s Graduation in person without disturbing the other guests attending," His Majesty said. "You are benevolent as always, Sir Arun," I said with a smile. "I believe that you are the one who has been benevolent towards my son. I am d that you two decided to patch things up," His Majesty said. "I am d too," Erik said as he held my hand. I waved my hand and asked that the waiter bring some Earl Grey tea and some scones with heavy cream on the side. "...You do not change," His Majesty said with a small smile on his face. "...Pardon?" Did I do something strange? "I thought for sure that you would be ss valedictorian, but it ended up going to your cousin, Garett," His Majesty said. Garett''s grades were always great in his first life. He was not much of a people pleaser, but I knew just how much effort he put into his studies and supported Erik when they were students. I heard from Erik before that he would always support Erik in his studies before exam season and end up losing time to study for himself. Since Erik has already gone through all of the tests himself, he probably did not need to lean on Garett''s help this time. "With two members rted to Royalty, it would be difficult for anyone else to have achieved ss valedictorian," I said sharply. I identally spoke too sharply... "Garett has been a talented individual ever since he was young, so I have expected great excellence from him for a long time already. I also have high expectations for you next year as well, Lady Arielle," His Majesty said. "...I would be honored," I said with a smile on my face. After chatting for a while, His Majesty decided to go back with his guards after having his fill of fun. "My mother never came to my Graduation Day in the end," Erik said. Erik''s mother was a beautiful woman with long ck hair and dark brown eyes. These were simr features seen in Kaya Ouchi. I had only met her once from a distance before, but she had covered herself head to toe and wore hat that seemed to cover her face then. I was able to look at her face clearly when His Majesty showed me her portrait before. She lived in a detached pce inside of the Royal Castle grounds. However, I heard that His Majesty and Erik frequently visited her. The only person barred from visiting her was only me. "It is because I am here, yes? If I was not here, she might havee to your Graduation," I said remorsefully. "That is..." "I never asked before, but what is the reason behind of why she dislikes me?" I asked. "She does not dislike you. Rather, it is your appearance," Erik said. "I am ugly?" "No, of course not...You look like my father''s first love," Erik said. I look exactly like my mother when I was her age. "My mother was King Arundel''s first love?" I asked. "That was a long time ago, but Mother still thinks that he is in love with the Duchess after all of this time since he wanted her daughter to marry me but make no mistake because I love you for who you are. It has been that way since I first met you," Erik said as he held my hand. The words ''I love you too'' seem to cruel to say right after Garett just broke up with me because I could not say the same words to him. I want to ask Erik if I truly was in a rtionship with Garett, or it was all just a lie. If it was true, what is the rtionship between Erik me? All of the questions I want to ask suddenly to keep on getting shoved back into my throat. I feel ill again... "I would like to go back to my room to rest. It has been a long day," I said. "I understand. Allow me to escort you back," Erik said as he walked me back to my dorm hall. When I went back to my room, I quickly went for the washroom and threw up. My current feelings tell me that I love Erik and he loves me. Just does my body have to reject it so much? It is almost as if my body was falling out of align with my mind. Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. Even the scene of rejection from Garett seemed to y in the back of my mind over and over again... I do not understand why my thoughts keep on getting filled with Garett even though he rejected me so coldly. Chapter 90: Three of Us [Erik] Chapter 90: Three of Us [Erik] [Erik''s Perspective of the Past Life] When I was young, I met a boy who looked almost identically to me except for his ck hair and deep scowl. I tried fixing his scowling eyebrows with my fingers. He attacked me like a rabid animal right afterwards. Needless to say, our first impressions were downright awful. I still feltpelled to meet this child often. I found outter that he was my cousin named Garett from my mother''s side. He was different to me despite us sharing one face, so I audaciously suggested that we trade ces once in a while. I thought he would refuse, but he epted right away against all of my expectations. Twice a week, we exchanged clothes and began living in each other''s home. He was incredibly smart and offered to take some of my tests in politics and world history, while I took the physical sses and yed music with various instruments as awful as I sounded. He said that he wanted to expand his knowledge by exploring the Royal Castle''s Library like a true study-bug. At Garett''s house, his room was surrounded by books like a Library. He was also allowed to eat high ss meals with loads of meat and desserts. It was arge step-up from my meals that mostly consisted of hard bread and warm soup to mimic Commoner food. I enjoyed the refined cuisine. There were plenty of servants around like my home, but I noticed that his parents were never around much. When I asked Garett about it, he just vaguely answered that they were out often, but I knew that there was a restricted wing of Garett''s manor that I was not allowed to explore. That area obviously belonged to someone, but I did not dare ask who it was for. asionally, I would see Garett''s father Marquis Alvine home. He would sometimes lift me in the air as if to check my weight and put me down on the ground after a few seconds ofplete silence. I asked what that was about with Garett and he said that it was part of some weird ritual every time he Even though he was a man of few words, he one day said to me while holding me up in the air, "You have gotten fat..." I traded ces with Garett the next day and quickly worked especially hard on exercising. That was our life for the next several years. When I told him about my fianc¨¦e, he suddenly said that he wanted to stop switching ces. I agreed because we were no longer at the age to continue our antics as boys anymore, but once in a while, I still requested that he exchange ces when I needed him to. He agreed since these exchanges would happen less frequently. All in all, I thought he was a decent guy. Despite having good grades and looks simr to mine that were hidden behind his sses, I thought it was a bit strange for him to not have any girls interested him. It was until I saw him interacting with one, namely my fianc¨¦e Arielle, that I understood why. He was terribly sharp and mean and would re at all girls who came close to him. It was the same with Arielle who had known him the longest. Arielle was no pushover and would often stand her ground against him. I would constantly worry if there was going to be a bloodbath between them one of these days. When I asked him what kind of girl he liked, he answered that he liked a mean girl. I assumed that it meant he was the type of man who liked being abused and never asked about his preferences again. Garett never looked at another woman. During our school days, he often stared at my fianc¨¦e. I thought that it was his way of watching out for her and never thought more about it since they would argue every time, they met eyes with each other. Arielle was a sweet girl and was respectful whenever she would talk to me but would turn lively the moment she argued with Garett. Some people had warned me that my fianc¨¦e seemed a bit close to Garett. I told those people all off saying that no one had the right to butt in our rtionship if they did not know one thing about us. The rumors only got worse when Arielle entered the Royal Castle as my Crown Princess in training. The two were extremely busy and had almost no time to ever meet. It was I who would forcibly bring those two together to meet whether it be for Arielle''s dance lessons or for lunch. I enjoyed seeing my favorite two people interact. I was oblivious to the fact that my actions only hurt Garett who was already receiving scrutiny for being close to me. "Garett, there are rumors that you are involved with my fianc¨¦e Arielle," I said to him one day. Content bel0ngs to N?vel(D)r/a/ma.Org. I was not confronting him but brought it up anyways because I was curious about where the rumors originated from. "That is ridiculous! I would never dare touch your fianc¨¦e," Garett denied vehemently. Curious as I was, I probably should have stopped there... "Do you have feelings for Arielle?" I asked. The one person I considered more than a friend and almost like a brother showed me an honest face that could not hide his feelings. This person betrayed me by having feelings for my fianc¨¦e... "I have never once touched your fianc¨¦e...However, I have been irrefutably in love with her ever since we were children," he admitted. "You do realize that I am on the verge of getting married. In less than a few days, Arielle will be my wife and one day Queen!" I shouted at him. Did he intend to hold such feelings towards her until we were married and had children together? "...I never wanted either of you two to know my feelings, but if I am causing both of you pain, I would rather leave now," he said. "...If Arielle feels the same way, I won''t stop either of you because both of you are important to me too," I said. Right before my wedding, Garett threw away his position and left without saying one word to either Arielle or me. I think I felt sorer about how he chose to live in pain silently all these years. I felt guilty that I had been showing off my love for Arielle in front of him without knowing that he had an unrequited love for her. He even chose to live a lonely life and abandoned his position for the both of us. I had to watch Arielle feel sad about Garett not attending our wedding without telling her that it was me who sent him away. Just like that, I got married withplicated and bitter feelings. My marriage with Arielle was like a dream. I loved her and she returned my feelings. She dutifully took over what I could not do by myself and handled everything perfectly. There were sometimes that I would see Garett in her. The two were more simr than I thought in the way they approached things to their thoughts and actions. I felt as though Garett probably understood Arielle more than I ever could and that made me lonely. Half a yearter, all the three of us reunited at the garrison Garett retreated to. Not long after our reunion, Arielle was kidnapped by traitors of the kingdom. I could not go after her because of my position. The one who offered to go save her at the possible cost of his own life was Garett. In the end, only one person returned, and that person was Arielle. I was given a list of hostages The Balik Empire procured with one of the names belonging to Garett. I met with the hostages personally and truly saw that Garett had fallen in the hands of the enemy kingdom. The ransom they requested in return was a document that detailed how to make ancient weapons that could be used for mass killing. Garett understood that I could not give that document to a hostile kingdom and smiled as he mouthed the words "Take care of her" before being dragged away. I wanted to save him. All I could hope was that I could find a way to save him, but there was a chance that I would fail. Iter told Arielle about my decision of abandoning Garett as he would have wanted it. She understood my intentions but could not ept it in her heart, so she painfully told me that she hated me. I became a viin in her heart that day... Chapter 91: Ruins [Erik] Chapter 91: Ruins [Erik] [Erik''s Perspective of the Past] At the gates outside of the fortress, I alerted that Garett''s head along with the rest of the hostages were ced gruesomely on tall wooden poles the next day. I could not believe that The Balik Empire would just kill off a member of the Royal Family within less than a few days of captivity, or did Garett refuse to reveal his identity to stop any possible exchanges from happening? More importantly, I felt a deep sadness from losing my cousin who was also my friend... I had asked that everyone stop Arielle from seeing the scene, but it was all toote when I heard her wailing cries. Arielle was approaching the heads posted on the wooden poles. Several people tried to stop her from approaching the scene. It was forbidden for the Queen of Arundel to touch the dead as it spelled the curse for a miserable death for her in the future. She kept pressing forward until her two feet were in front of Garett''s head. At that point, it was already toote. No one could say anything even when she removed Garett''s head from the marker and held his head close her chest. The blood stained hervender dress from head to toe. She fell to her knees and cried for a long time. Even though she did not cry at her mother''s funeral, she cried for him... It was then that I understood Arielle''s feelings for the very first time. She held a deep ce for Garett in her heart, and I was the person who sent him to his death. Later, Arielle closed herself in her room without any contact to the outside world for three days. In the meantime, I gathered the people behind her kidnapping and the ones responsible for handing Garett over to enemy territory. I brought them into the holding cells for questioning. It was the least that I could do for Arielle who was mourning. As I was leaving the holding cell after getting a few good punches in at Marquis Pir''s son, I was suddenly approached by Arielle''s Maid. "Lady Arielle has gone missing from her room!" her Maid screamed. I immediately called for all of the Guards to begin a search party for Arielle. I ran around desperately looking for Arielle like a madman as well. She seemed nowhere to be found as if she had disappeared in thin air. I suddenly had a bad feeling and followed it back to the dungeon that happened to be unguarded and open for some reason. What if something happened to Arielle? I went down and heard screaming from the cell of Marquis Pir''s son. When I approached it, I saw Arielle standing in front of Marquis Pir''s son who was still hung up on a stake as I had left him. Arielle turned slightly towards me and revealed her figure sshed in blood all over her white nightgown. "Are you hurt?" I asked as I turned her towards me. "I am fine, Erik," she said with a smile. How long has it been since Ist saw her smile? I soon gasped when I saw that there was a bloody dagger in her hands. "Arielle, what did you..." "If you do not mind, I am in the middle of something," she said as she turned back to the prisoner. She grabbed his tongue with some pliers and cruelly sliced it off with the dagger in her other hand. It was then that I realized Marquis Pir''s son was missing all of his fingers and his left ear. "...Did you do this?" Such a horrible scene... "The ear is just skin attaches to the temporals. If you pull it from behind, it is easy to rip off. However, I did use the dagger to cut off his tongue and fingers," Arielle said with the brightest smile on her face. Arielle soon lost her smile. Her eyes began leaking tears. She dropped the dagger by her side and fell to her knees as she continued holding her face in her hands. I kneeled beside her as I brought her to my chest and hugged her. "Arielle, why did you do such a thing?" I asked. "...I thought that I would feel better after getting revenge and making him feel everything Garett felt, but I still feel just as awful as I did before," Arielle said as she clutched my clothes and cried into my chest. I do not deserve to hold you either. I was the one who refused to go with the exchange and sent Garett away in the first ce. If anyone, I am the person Arielle should me the most, but I will continue taking care of you because I love you and because I promised Garett that I would. After that incident, many things changed. Arielle became active war campaigns, purging corrupt Nobles in Arundel, and closed off her heart. As the days went by, Arielle and I saw each other less and less. The number of times we met in a week could be counted on one hand. Even most of those meetings consisted of signing off on important documents and not evensting a minute longer. It was almost as if we had lost all intimacy in our rtionship and became just colleagues. Some Nobles unsatisfied with Arielle''s demands, gathered and tried toin that she was not doing her duties. I knew that she had well overdone her duties if anything. Still, I tried to inquire about what she had not been doing. All they could say was that she had not dutifully given me an heir. It was a ridiculous demand seeing as though these were unsteady times of war. I believed that Arielle and I would rather not bring a child into the world during these difficult times. However, my Advisors said that they would force a political bride on me if I were to refuse. If that were not all, the past Nobles from when the rumors of Garett came from started making up terrible rumors about Arielle as well. The most irritating rumors were about Arielle refusing my affections because she was in love with Garett. I could not be angrier that those pesky Nobles chose to bring up a dead man''s name just to besmirch Arielle''s reputation. I could not punish those people specifically because it would only further damage Arielle''s image if I were to do so. When a document arrived on my desk about the enlistment officers, I saw Arielle''s name on the sheet. Bringing her to war was thest thing I wanted to do. I knew just how stubborn she was, so I knew she would refuse if I asked her. The fact that we were slowly growing distant from each other was not helping either. It was finally to the point where she did not want to consultrge decisions with me anymore. Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. Our rtionship was dying...but I did not want to ept it and forced myself on her. Even if she hated me at the moment, we could still share some sort of connection together. I was that desperate to keep Arielle with me. After a few days, Arielle seemingly returned to her normal self, but that was a lie as well. She had partially closed off her own memories of Garett''s death and the dark days that proceeded afterwards. I could not dare bring up old wounds, so I let her be for a while. A few weekster, I received news that Arielle had be pregnant with my child. I was so ted that I went to find her immediately. I remembered her schedule and assumed that she went to the meeting hall to meet Dolton. Instead of Dolton, I saw Kaya Ouchi threatening Arielle with a knife. She soon threw herself at Arielle. I used my body to protect Arielle and identally got stabbed myself. I was bleeding out and on the verge of dying. All I could was touch Arielle''s soft cheeks. She looked so distressed and unhappy. I wanted to hold her tightly in my arms but was slowly losing my strength and dying. "I cannot do this anymore. Everyone I love keeps dying...Mother, Garett, and now you!" She remembered Garett now? Was my death a trigger for her returning memories? "If I cannot be with you in life, then we can all be together in death," she said as she picked up the de and held it towards her heart. Stop! Stop! I tried screaming with all of my might, but it was all toote. "I am sorry, Our Child..." All I could do wasment as I watched Arielle stabbed herself in her heart and die by my side. Everything...Everything is Garett''s fault... You made a mess out of her heart and left. If I could redo things, I would rather kick you out of her heart and just leave me inside. All I need is for God to give me another chance to make things right again... Chapter 92: Second Chance [Erik] Chapter 92: Second Chance [Erik] [Erik''s Perspective] I returned to the past in an alternate world and regained my memories of my past life. I was given another chance at life... This world isparatively different than that of the one I lived through. In this one, Arielle broke off our engagement, got together with Garett, and tells me she hates me. Arielle seemed happy being with Garett as if we were never engaged in the first ce. She also seemed to not have recalled any of those painful memories she had of Garett''s death. If she did, she would not so easily attach herself to Garett like that since it was both of our faults that brought about his death. I should have been happy for her, but all I felt was bitterness. While I suffered inside with these memories I regained, Garett could happily stay by Arielle''s side without a care in the world. Later, I found out that Arielle had memories of our past lives. However, she clearly expressed her opinions about how being my fianc¨¦e was slowly killing her from the inside. I surmised that was probably why she went to be with Garett. He made her feel happy and safe. All guilt I felt for letting him die in our past lives seemed to disappear. That is why I dressed up as him and went to see Arielle. I wanted to at least capture his hurt expression as he saw me kissing Arielle, but it all backfired when I heard that a bookcase fell on top of her shortly after she ran away from me when she found out that I was not Garett whom she had been apanying on her date with. Her ident was clearly my fault, yet this Garett asked me toe visit her and even bring her flowers. I could not believe how generous this Garett was. I forced a kiss on Arielle in front of him, but he still asked me toe visit her as if nothing happened. He then proceeded to tell me that Arielle had lied to me about hating me and never stopped caring about me. He was clearly in love with Arielle but told me the truth anyways. His altruistic nature made me feel guilty for having tried to hurt him. I loved Arielle too, yet I doubt that I could have done the same in his position. "Would you mind getting flowers for Arielle?" Garett asked. "I think she would be much happier if you brought them," I said. "...I want to stay by her side a little longer," Garett said with an awkward smile. He was willing to give me a chance to make up with Arielle. "Thank you," I told him. "...Her favorite flowers are peonies," Garett said. I went downstairs to find the florist nearby. As I bought a bouquet, I tried to think back thest time I bought her a bouquet. Ever since Garett died in our past lives, I could not remember thest gift that I gave her in my past life. I had many chances to give her a simple gift but gave up every time. I could have just given her a simple gift and opened up a conversation with her but was scared to try anything. That was probably why our rtionship was slowly dying. When I returned to Arielle''s room, I learned that the ident from the bookcase had made her lose all of her memories of my death, her suicide and this second life. She vaguely remembered Garett''s death but could not remember the small details leading up to the incident or what happened afterwards. On top of that, she had no recollection of this Garett who was currently by her side. It was as if God was giving me a second chance to be with this person. "...Will you let me stay by your side while you recover?" I asked as I held her hand. "Of course, you are my precious husband...or dear fianc¨¦ as of right now," Arielle said as she grasped my hand. Arielle had returned to the time of when she epted me and believed that I was still her life partner. I had been waiting so long for this moment. I loved her so much that I could not ignore this second chance. That is why I have to apologize to this Garett... He may have loved her for one lifetime, but I have been loving her for two and cannot imagine having the same feelings for anyone else. "After I got stabbed, I was on the verge of death. She could not forgive herself for having let the both of N?velDrama.Org ? content. us die because of her. She only remembers vaguely about the events surrounding your death because it was so traumatizing to her. However, in thosest moments of her life, she remembered you and called out your name! Do you really want to go back to her and force her to relive those memories again? It was already bad enough when she wasing to terms with my death, so don''t go back to her. Don''t make her relive those painful days again," I pleaded to Garett. "I have seen her cry because of you so many times. What makes you think you are more qualified to stay by her side?" Garett asked. I know her true feelings because of you. She lied to me several times because she wanted to protect me in her own awkward way. "...The other you chose me to protect her before you died," I said. "You still let her die in the end!" Garett said. "It was an ident that I was killed in. Now that all of the circumstances leading up to my idental death has been avoided, I can protect her with all of my might," I said. After outing Kaya Ouchi and purging several corrupted Nobles who had chosen to follow her, I had steadily gained power and helped with solidifying my position. I can protect her as I am now much better than in our first lives where I was ignorant about the intentions of the people closest to me. I will dwindle their powers now while they are trying to build themselves up. You have to admit that I am the better person meant to be by her side... "All of you people are terribly selfish," Garett said as he left. I will dly use the chance you gave me and take Arielle back by any means necessary even if that means kicking the current Garett out of her life. The present Garett means nothing to me. You are not much more than a stranger to me, so I have no qualms about using your feelings of wanting to protect Arielle against you. If the past Garett is watching me from above, I want to sincerely apologize. Garett was my second favorite person in the whole world after Arielle. I loved him more than my parents and treated him like a brother. If he was here, I would not be treating the current you like some second-rate knockoff. I am truly sorry for taking Arielle from you a second time, but I promised the other Garett that I would take care of Arielle. I am aware that it was due to Garett''s and my death that caused Arielle''s unfortunate end. There is a way for all of us to be alive but happy is another matter since only one of us will have to sacrifice their happiness. I will at least assure that the current Garett is safe from harm and is able to live a full healthy life. Two people are too crowded for Arielle''s heart. From now on, I will be Arielle''s one and only... Chapter 93: Afternoon Tea Chapter 93: Afternoon Tea Summer break was finally upon me. I packed my things from my dorm room and found that I had many presents from Garett. I packed them all anyways and returned home with mixed feelings. At the gate, I saw my beautiful mother alive and healthy-looking waiting outside with a Maid who held a parasol over her head. She had an oddly stiff expression while wearing a frilly peach colored dress. "Greetings, Mother," I said as I formally greeted her with a curtsy. "Greetings, Arielle," she said as she returned my greeting. My mother and I had gotten close in our first lives because of her illness. Without the illness, we never really had any chance to talk to one another. I know that she actually loves me a lot under her cold demure from our first lives, but I am unsure if she feels the same way now. "I am d that you look well," I said with a smile on my face. "...Arielle, there seems to be a leaf on your neck," Mother said as she approached me. "A leaf? Where?" I asked as I turned my head. "I will get it for you," Mother said as she wrapped her arms around me and brought me into a hug. I felt all warm inside. "Mother?" "Wee home, Arielle," Mother said in a quiet voice. I did not even need to ask whether or not she still loved me. She had always loved me from the very start...as awkward as she was at showing affection. "I am home," I said as I hugged her back. I missed her so much after her death and now she is back in my arms. I am so happy to see her again. "Let''s go see your father," Mother said as she pulled me along by my hand. She moves without skipping a beat when she is not ill... I was soon alone and face to face with my father after my mother left the room. Father opened up his arms wide with a stern face. If I follow the pattern with my mother, he should be asking for a hug. If not, what could this action represent? Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. A stretch? Practice for being a conductor? Dear God...What if he wants to wrestle with me? Will I even be able to take him? In the end, I decided to mimic Father by opening up my arms just like him. He silently walked over to me and enclosed me in his embrace. "Wee home, Arielle," Father said as he warmly rubbed my head. I closed my arms around him and rested my head against his chest. "I am home, Father..." All of this happiness should not belong to me but the person who made it all happen... "You have been in the carriage for quite some time. Go rest in your room for now," Father said after he released me from a long hug. "Yes, Father," I replied with a smile. I went to my room and noticed that things had not changed much from my memory. If there was a noticeable change, I saw that there were various stuffed animals in my room and letters from Garett on my desk wishing me a ''Happy Birthday'' with just those two words and his name signed off underneath. I found myself smiling when I held up the birthday cards. I quickly put them down when I caught myself smiling. It made me think that my body seems to remember Garett as perverted as that may sound... Garett told me that our rtionship was fake, but I have such a hard time believing that if my heart reacts to everything seemingly rted to Garett. As I continued looking around my room, I could not find any gifts or letters from Erik. I thought that it was a bit strange to have received gifts and letters from a fake lover and not my own engagement partner. As messy as my second life sounds, I expected there to be at least one or two letters from Erik somewhere. I soon found an odd trunk in my room. I opened the lock with a key I found in my desk and saw hundreds of letters addressed to Erik along with items I had given to Erik in my past life. All of the letters were addressed to Erik without having been sent. Along with the letters, I found my old journals. They were not useful at all. All they did were recount the memories I already had and nothing about the current one or why I chose not to send out the letters. I just assumed that they were letters I was embarrassed about sending out and left it as is. Just from looking at the trunk, I could roughly tell what my other self was thinking. She thought that she was the only one who remembered everything, so she made a box of memories just in case she would forget everything about Erik. I am confused about my own feelings. I feel a deep emptiness in my heart. If only I could recover the memories I lost, I could finally exin this wretched feeling. The next day, Mother invited me for afternoon tea. I admired her beautiful figure quietly. She looked so young and vibrant that I almost had to doubt whether she had ever aged since her twenties. Something about her gaze seemed softer and kind. "...Do you mind if I ask about the past?" I asked. "You can ask me anything," Mother said. "Were you King Arundel''s former lover?" I asked abruptly. She seemed surprised by my question. "...I was during my Academy years," Mother admitted. "Did someone tell you?" "It was His Highness Prince Erik," I answered. "It was a long time ago. At the time, His Majesty was still third in line to the throne. I met him and fell for him at first sight. The feeling was mutual. It was not much longer that we started seeing each other with good intentions. It was not long after we broke up because that person became King. I could not give him anything to help him in the end and made him decide on difficult decisions himself," Mother exined. "Do you regret it?" I asked. "I deeply regretted how things ended for us, but I do not regret falling for your father. He was my second love and now the person I love the most. If you are having trouble with your own rtionships, just know that it is alright to fall in love more than once. No one can tell you what you are feeling is wrong," Mother said with apassionate gaze. It was as if she could read my mind about all of my insecurities. "Can you read my mind?" I asked. "...I thought that you were experiencing your own troubles in love since you asked about my past," Mother said calmly. Mother is a such a sharp person... "Thank you for your advice, Mother. It was very helpful," I said. Falling in love again? How could I ever love anyone more than Erik? The image of Garett''s back popped into my mind. I suddenly felt ashamed and embarrassed at the same time. Mother seemed to see through my transparency from how she just smiled kindly and did not ask any further questions unless I wanted to continue talking about it. I liked that about her. She was kind enough to always listen and would not reprimand me unless necessary. "...If you are having any troubles, I will be here to listen to you, Arielle," Mother said. I can see her whenever I want now. Just seeing her alive makes me happy enough to want to shed tears. "...Thank you, Mother." Chapter 94: Doubt Chapter 94: Doubt Erik sent me a letter saying that he would like to visit my home. He came three days after I wrote a letter that he coulde over. I wore a light empire waistvender dress with a low square neckline, long airy peasant sleeves, and a thin whitece design over the top to avoid the summer heat. My mother''s Maid Ste helped braid my hair and tied it with a white ribbon and tied a whitece choker with a light blue jewel in the center. I had been wearing my casual clothes and uniform for so long that I had almost forgotten all about dressing up and being a woman. I am so sloppy that it hurts when I am reminded by my Mother or my retainers that I am not putting enough effort in taking care of my own looks. "You are more beautiful than usual," Erik said as he greeted me with a smile and a single red rose. "Thank you for the flower," I said as I epted it. Erik and I soon shared lunch alone together. "Doesn''t memories like this take you back to when we would eat together in our teenage years?" Erik asked. "...We are teenagers now," I said. "Haha...That is right. We are teenagers again. It feels a bit strange returning as a teenager. It was only until just recently that I had regained my memories of our past lives, so I am not used to having two sets of memories, but things must be more difficult for you since you only have memories of your past life," Erik said. If you remember everything, I could support you if you just tell me more about my missing memories. He cleverly avoids answering any questions about my memories. It is almost as if Erik does not want me to remember. "It is difficult," I said sharply. "You will recover your memories eventually, so there is no need to rush in trying to remember everything," Erik said. "...Right." "Arielle, I think that we should announce our engagement," Erik said with a bright smile. "Pardon?" Erik stood up and walked over to me. "As per your request of your other self, I had been holding off announcing our engagement to the public," Erik said. Why would my other self suggest such a thing? Was she having doubts about her engagement with Erik? It is true that I am having doubts right now...and it is not just because I amcking my memories. "Erik, I..." "I think it is high time that we announce you bing my Crown Princess," Erik said as he got up from his seat and walked over to my side. He lifted my chin up towards him and leaned closer to my face. "You still love me, right?" "...I do," I answered. "If two people love each other, the next step would be to get married," Erik said before kissing me. Maybe my thoughts were too upied for me to enjoy Erik''s kiss. I could not think of another reason as to why I could not feel anything from his kiss... "...I think that we should wait at least until I regain my memories of this life," I said as I pushed on Erik''s chest. "...What if you never regain those memories? Will you make me wait forever?" Erik asked coldly. How could he ask something so cruel like that? "It must be difficult for you to cover me all of the time," I said. "It is no trouble whenever you rely on me," Erik said. The only person who knows everything from my past as well as the me from this world will not tell me anything. I hate it...I hate feeling useless and always burdening him like this. "Why not just tell me that I am a burden?" I asked. "You are never a burden to me," Erik said as he cupped my face with his hands. "It is a lie...I am always a burden to you. That is why you do not want me to remember, right?" I asked as I removed his hands from my face. "You do not need to remember things that only hurt you," Erik said. "Again...and again...you keep treating me as if I am some weak person who cannot handle the truth. I want to know everything. Please...Erik," I pleaded. How much do I have to plead and beg him before he will tell me anything? "No..." I never beg Erik to give me anything but having been denied so directly like that hurt my pride even more than I thought it would. ...For some reason, I feel like this is not the first time I have been denied of something from Erik. "If you are going to keep things from me all of the time, how can I trust you enough to get married to you?" I asked as I gripped my dress. Erik kneeled on the ground beside me and ced his hands over mine. "...Arielle, I have been waiting for you patiently day after day and am willing to wait for another millennium if I have to," Erik said. "...It feels like you are being a bit pushy by suggesting marriage all of a sudden," I said. "I am suggesting announcing our engagement. Marriage will happen at ater date. My retainers think that it is strange for me to not have announced my fianc¨¦e yet and other Noble houses are constantly introducing their daughters to me even though they are not even a quarter as wonderful as you are, Arielle. You are the only person I want as my wife. It has been that way since our past and current lives. I am the one who does not understand your reason for putting off the announcement of our engagement," Erik said. I do not understand either...My hopes, doubts, and dreams of the future with Erik seem murkier with each passing day. I pulled my hands back from Erik''s hands and held them over my chest. "...I need time to sort my own feelings," I said. "I understand that you need time to sort out your feelings," Erik said as he moved closer to my neck. He moved my choker down slightly with his fingers while he delicately held my neck. I soon felt his teeth nibble along with a strange suctioning sensation on my neck. I flinched from the tingling sensation on my neck. "...Stop, Erik," I said weakly as I tried to pull Erik off of me by pressing on his chest. He ceased his suctioning soon afterwards and lightly tickled the spot where he just kissed my neck. "There it is," Erik said with a triumphant smile. "Why did you do such a thing?" I asked. Marking me as his property? "Arielle, you are the type who needs a little pushing...I know that you will always choose me in the end, Content ? N?velDrama.Org 2024. but I want you to think only about me for the next few days," Erik said as he lifted my left hand from my I continued holding the spot of where he kissed my neck. It was oddly still warm after Erik left... There was nothing patient about what he just did. Chapter 95: Tea Party Chapter 95: Tea Party The Queen Dowager Iris or Erik''s grandmother and King Arundel''s blood rted mother invited my Mother and I to her tea party in the Royal Castle. When a member of a Royal Family invites one to a tea party, one must attend no matter what unless they wish to face the social wrath of Queen Dowager Iris. Queen Dowager Iris preferred unmarried girls to wear light pastel colors. My mother chose an elegant off the shoulders A-line pastel blue dress with beautiful white embroidery over the sweetheart neckline for me. To cover up the bug bite mark Erik left, I wore a white Venicece cor with silver chains and a transparent crystal pendant. I also wore my hair down and wore a shortce veil with pearl barrettes on both sides. The battle between women is quite scary. That is why this exaggerated appearance is necessary piece of armor for me as well. "Wee Duchess Maddox and Lady Arielle," Queen Dowager said with a gentle smile. She was wearing a dark purple dress with pearl details. "It seems that you have worn pearl essories in your hair as well, Lady Arielle." "I have admired Queen Dowager''s sense of fashion for a long time. Although it does not suit me as much as it suits Queen Dowager, I wanted at least one article of mine to resemble Queen Dowager''s when I heard that you were going to wear pearls," I said eloquently. "I am ttered! Please sit with me, Lady Arielle," Queen Dowager said as she asked me to sit beside her. "I am honored that Queen Dowager would allow me to sit by your side," I said. I had dly taken the seat beside her and soon felt a strong stare from the person sitting on the other side. It was a woman wearing dark blue dress with a hat that also came with a veil that covered her face. From her key features, I could just tell that she was Erik''s mother Queen Gaelle whom did not like to show her face in public. I never sat with her at a table before even in my first life with her, so I find it a bit odd that she even came to this tea party. "Lady Arielle seems to have it all...good manners, etiquette, and is a beauty," Queen Dowager said with a kind smile. "It must be difficult maneuvering through all of the marriage proposals constantlying to your front doorstep." Erik and I were said to be engaged, but have yet to make a formal announcement, so it is assumed that I am still single to most people. I have not heard of any from any other suitors from my parents either, so maybe Ick the potential to be a wife in most people''s eyes? "Queen Dowager is benevolent. I am actually quite unpopr," I said. "Modesty is a redeeming quality as well, Lady Arielle," Queen Dowager said. The tea party went on very well after that. There was light gossiping about the newest fashion trends to topics about foreign desserts amongst the attendingdies. I would have liked to listen more about the foreign desserts had it not been for the Queen Gaelle''s incessant staring that kept me ufortable throughout the entire party. "How are things with you and Prince Erik?" Queen Dowager whispered to me. "...Splendid," I answered with a smile. It was not long after that the tea party was adjourned. Queen Dowager held both of my hands and smiled kindly at me. "You were a very pleasant guest. I hope that we will have more tea parties like this together in the future," Queen Dowager said. "I would be honored," I answered. Queen Dowager retired to her room, while the rest of the party moved to a socializing and dessert tasting party to the garden. Queen Gaelle seemed to also disappear right after the Queen Dowager retired. My mother seemed preupied with with her socializing duties, while I slowly made my way Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. furthest from the others and escaped. Since this time period is a bit earlier from when I entered the Royal Castle as a Crown Princess in training, I wanted to explore if things had changed much. The most important destination I had in mind was the Royal Library. In my first life, I heard that Erik had made major renovations to the Library when I came to live in the Royal Castle. I was very curious if things had changed much. When I arrived at the Library, I was amazed by the beautiful red wallpaper with dark red flowers and the cozy atmosphere. When I saw Queen Gaelle, I quickly hid behind a bookcase. I was technically not allowed to roam in the Royal Library because I was not officially affiliated with the Royal Family yet. I would rather not get on my future mother-inw''s bad side before getting engaged... She took an evergreen book from a shelf and opened it shortly only to close it and put it back in its ce before leaving. I heaved a sigh of relief when she left. I was a bit curious about what she was reading and went over to pick up the book. It seemed like a reference book on nts. I heard steps quickly approaching and quickly hid in a nearby storage closet as I waited for the steps to pass. I thought I had evaded everyone until I heard rustling sound of clothes behind me. I turned around to see Garett in a dark green suit with a brown vest and a yellow tie who was sitting on a seat cushion. "...By any chance, did you just close the door?" Garett asked. I had identally released the door from surprise when I saw Garett earlier. "Can the door only be opened from the outside?" I asked. "...Apparently," Garett answered. "...I''m sorry," I apologized. "...It is not your fault," Garett said unconvincingly. What should I do? I am locked in a closed room with the person who dumped me. "What are you doing in here?" I asked. "I was having lunch," he answered. "Why are you having lunch in here?" I asked as I looked around the room. It was filled with cleaning products to the left, a bookcase with a few books, a bed seemingly hidden behind the open kax bookcase, and Garett was sitting on a seat cushion on the floor right underneath a bright window with a book in his hand. It just looks like a secret room for ying hooky... "...I live here," he answered. He lives in a Library? "You live here?" I asked. Is this not the cleaning closet? There is a bed, but it seems a bit of an unsuitable ce for people to properly live in. "I have been living here for a while because it is convenient for me. The doorknob is broken, so I am in the middle of having it reced," he exined. As Erik''s cousin, he could get a more luxurious room with better lighting and a bigger bed. I do not understand his willingness to stay in a ce like this, or is he truly unloved by his rtives? "I see," I said. "...Does this remind you of something?" Garett asked. "No, not at all. What a unique situation of living within a Library," I said as I sat on the cushion Garett was sitting on earlier. Should this ce trigger my memory? "I do not have much, but I can at least serve you tea," Garett said as he poured me a cup of steaming tea from the lid of a silver storage vessel. Did he notice that I was thirsty? "Ah! Those are one of those vacuums or Dewer sks that greatly lengthens the time over which the contents remain hotter or cooler than the sk''s surroundings, right?" I asked excitedly as I epted the freshly poured cup. I yelped in a high-pitched tone when the drink burnt my tongue. It was much hotter than I thought it was. "I forgot to tell you to be careful of the heat," Garett said as he kneeled in front of me. He soon removed his gloves and grabbed my chin towards him. He pressed his thumb over my bottom lip as he moved closer to my face. "Open up and let me check and see." I felt my heart racing earlier from just having my lips touched. Somehow, I do not want to show him the inside of my mouth but at the same time do want to show him a little. "...I''m fine," I said weakly. "Don''t be stubborn," Garett said as his other hand wrapped around the back of my neck. His thumb on my lips pried my stubborn mouth open. "I cannot see if you do not stick your tongue out a little." I stuck my tongue out obediently as if I was in a trance. I felt incredibly embarrassed but focused my eyes on his deep emerald green eyes and looked up at him in a submissive state. I do not understand this person...He tells me that he loves me, then tells me that he cannot stand to look at me and tells me that he hates me. I find his past words hard to believe when he acts so kind to me at times like these. It has been that way ever since the past life as well. I think that I may have drooled since, his thumb swept over the corners of my mouth before he released my chin. "Yeah, it is a little red, but you will be fine," Garett said calmly as he walked over to the door. My entire body was still quivering from his touch. I did not feel ufortable, rather... "I think that I can open it if I have something sharp," Garett said as he inspected the lock. I removed one of my barrettes and showed it to Garett. "Will this do?" I asked. "I can work with that," he said as he took the clip and began ying with the lock. Within a matter of seconds, the door finally opened. "...It''s open," I said. That was all it took. A little anti-climactic... "You are free now," Garett said as he ced my barrette back in my hand. "Thank you," I said as I ran off. My lips and throat seemed to be burning and not from the hot tea I had earlier. The memory of Erik''s kisses and the mark Erik left on my neck seemed to fade in the back of my mind. Chapter 96: Thorns Chapter 96: Thorns I was so dazed that I identally brought the book from the Royal Library home with me. That makes me no better than a thief! I decided to flip through the book after having dinner anyways. The curiosity of what Queen Gaelle was reading was slightly killing me. Why did she leave in the middle of the tea party? Right after Queen Dowager left too? Why was Queen Gaelle looking through the reference section and not take the book back with her? It looked as if she did not want to be seen reading it. I flipped through the first few pages and understood that it was a book on botany that described certain nt species, how to identify them, where they were found, and their uses. Some of them contained medical uses, while others warned of toxicity. I noticed one of the corners of a page was folded. I assumed that this was the page Queen Gaelle was on. The nt on the page was called the Gympie nt. Almost everything about the nt warned about the toxicities of the nt causing death and no further details. There was nothing medical based about it. Why would Queen Gaelle look up such a dangerous nt? I tried to rack up any memories about Queen Gaelle and her enemies but could not think about anyone she particrly hated in the past... When Erik told me that my mother and King Arundel were formerly past lovers, I had a feeling that there could have been some sort of resentment towards my mother. However, Queen Gaelle''s gaze seemed fixed only on me during the tea party despite our limited interactions. That just just might have been her evaluating my worth as her future daughter-inw. Have I not just proved that I am an unworthy Crown Princess with a book I identally stole in my hands? I could not return it myself either because I was in no position to go in and out of the Royal Castle as I pleased... I sighed dismally. A few dayster, I received an invitation letter from Erik. He was inviting me over for lunch. When I read the contents, I jumped up for joy not because I could see Erik but because I could return the book on my next visit. I prepared myself by wearing a fuchsia pink dress with a flounce off the shoulder top and an empire waist. I also wore a dark red suede string wrap choker around my neck and wore my hair down in soft waves. The book was tucked in the back of my dress right below my shoulders. I had to hide the book in a non- inconspicuous ce to avoid being searched by the Royal Guards. It felt like a box was digging into my back every time I walked. "I am so jealous that Lady Arielle has such good posture," a Royal Maid said as she escorted me through the Castle. "If you do not mind, would you care to tell me your secret?" What secret? I tucked a book into my back, so now my back is straighter than a silver pin. "...I practiced by walking in a straight line with a stack of books over my head," I answered with a smile. "What a fantastic idea!" she said excitedly as she escorted me to a lovely gazebo with a white table set for two. "I must excuse myself to go powder my nose," I said. "Would you like for me to escort you?" she asked. Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. "It is a short distance away. Please do not mind me and rest under the shade," I said politely. "I understand," she responded with a bright smile. I quickly made my way in the opposite direction of the loo to go find the Royal Library. As I was approaching it, I was soon met face to face with Garett who was justing out from it. "Arielle?" Garett said in surprise. "Geh! Garett!" I said in surprise. "...I do not recall ever adopting such a title before. What are you doing here? Are you trying to sneak in the Library again?" Garett asked. If it is this perceptive person, he would definitely be able to see through my lies. "...Yes," I answered. "There should be limits to how honest a person can be. What havoc have youe to wreak today?" Garett asked as he crossed his arms. He supposedly hates me but is willing to banter with me. "I identally took a book home with me," I said as I pulled the book out of my dress. "I would like to return it." Garett scrunched his eyebrows together when he saw me pull the book out of my dress. "...That is an incredibly improper ce to put a book," Garett said as he rubbed his temples. "It is better than pulling the book from under my skirt. Now, if you will let me pass, I can go return the book," I said. "You do not have permission to go in and out as you please. I will return it for you," Garett said as he put out his hand. "...Thank you," I said as I ced the book in his hands. "...This book does not belong to the Library here," Garett said as he inspected the book. "That cannot be...I brought this book back with me on ident the other day," I said. "I cannot bring the book back with me if it does not belong to the Library," Garett said as he handed me back the book. What do I do now? "...This book refuses to leave my side," I said depressingly. "Is it the type of book that you prefer not keeping around you?" Garett asked. "Pardon?" "Some people tend to hide things that they do not want to keep on their person in the Royal Library. Some contain dangerous items, while most are practically harmless...There are also some people who choose to take advantage of the Library to hide indecent books," Garett exined. Indecent books? "...There is no way that I would carry around a book with indecent contents," I said shyly. "For someone who sticks books down their dresses, that is quite difficult to believe," Garett said snappily as he took the book back from me and began examining the contents. I was a bit frustrated from not being able to deny his words. "There is no seal or signature of the owner in the front or back pages. What kind of book is it?" "It is a botany reference book," I answered. Garett''s expression soon turned sour when he flipped to the page with the folded corner. "...Were you researching the Gympie nt?" Garett asked. "Is that a problem?" I asked. "For what reason would you..." "The person who read the book before me was probably researching it. I prefer using bookmarks instead of folding corners as a ce marker," I said. "It is not a very pleasant nt. You should stop looking into it," Garett said coldly as he handed me back the book again and turned to leave. ...This book is stuck to my side like a thorn. I decided to tuck the book back into the back of my dress again before going back to have lunch with Erik. Garett said that he could not stand looking at me because he hated me, but he never ignores me whenever I approach or talk to him. He also seemed sincerely concerned for me when he saw me looking at a poisonous nt. Chapter 97: Centaurea cyanus Chapter 97: Centaurea cyanus When I returned to my seat, Erik arrived shortly afterwards. "Did I make you wait long?" Erik asked. "I just got here," I answered. "Your posture is straighter than usual," Erikmented. I could onlyugh awkwardly at hisment. Lunch ended rather quickly after Erik was called to escort foreign dignitaries soon after our meal together. I thought it was good timing because I could literally feel a bruise in the shape of the book in my back. When I returned home with the book again, I went to my room and sighed dismally as I took the book out of my dress. The pain of having a book down my spine affected the natural curvature and brought mesting aches. My mother stayed by my side and serenaded me with sweet poems while I had an anesthetic herb patch for my poor back. I tried to resolute myself for the next chance I had which was two dayster when Erik invited me again for afternoon tea. I waited for an opportunity to sneak into the Library when Garett was not looking. Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. When the coast was presumably clear, I tried to make a run for it with the book in my hand. I soon heard a loud smacking sounding from outside of the Library. My curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to scope the area. It was Garett standing in front of a woman a head shorter than him. She wore a simple dark green dress and had light brown hair in a braided bun. Garett''s face was swollen on one side with a handprint on his face. "...You are a disgrace," she said coldly before turning to leave. I walked over with a freshly wet handkerchief. "Use this over your cheek," I told him. He quietly epted my handkerchief and ced it against his cheek. "...You have a terrible hobby of peeking," Garettined. A thank you would have been nice... "Who was that?" I asked. "My Mother," Garett said with a cold expression. His Mother? They did not look anything alike. "Does she often hit you?" I asked. "...I do not think it is any of your business," Garett said coldly. This coldness is normal for someone who dislikes me and favors efficacy. I should stop getting involved with him because I am with Erik, but most importantly, the other me broke this person''s heart. As her recement, I cannot simply rectify their severed rtionship on my own terms... "...It is true that it is none of my business. Just throw away my handkerchief when you are done with it. No need to return it," I said as I turned to leave. I came to a stop halfway on my way back to the spot of where I was meant to meet Erik. I felt a prickling pain in my heart. All of my current memories of Garett consisted of bittersweet memories. I argued with Garett, yelled at him, and often yed pranks on him. Something about being treated coldly by this Garett made my heart ache. I halted when I saw a familiar flower bundle on the ground beside me. The Centauri flower was light blue with soft, frilly double blossoms with fringed light pink petals on the fringes and delicate light green feather foliage. When my mother was ill, Erik sent one of these flowers every day to her room...Even on the day she was buried, this flower was ced on her corpse. I kneeled down beside the flower and plucked the beautiful flower. I noticed a sweet apple like scent I dropped the flower in surprise from being pulled back and pressed against someone''s hard chest. I could not speak and could barely breathe with the man''s hand and cloth pressed so firmly over my mouth. "...You should not be smelling such dangerous flowers," Garett said as he released me. "What do you mean by dangerous flowers? This is obviously a Centaurea cyanus," I said as I turned towards him. "It may look like it, but it is apletely different nt species called Rudbeckia cyanus. The light blue almost water like color coupled with its fruity smell often attracts wild animals to eat it. Once ingested, it can cause vomiting, seizures, and then death. Smelling it from close quarters for an extended period of time can lead to the same effects of arsenic poisoning and possibly death," Garett exined. "Why would such a dangerous nt be nted here?" I asked. "Queen Gaelle has a unique hobby of gathering strange nts that catch her eye," Garett answered. Erik sent this flower to my mother every day when she was ill. My mother kept it on her nightstand in a thin ss vase all up to the day she died. The doctors could not exin why she was not getting better despite receiving the best treatment avable at the time. I grabbed the fallen flower and ran to find Erik. I soon met him waiting for me at the location we agreed to meet. "Arielle, you are finally here," Erik said with a bright smile. "You brought a flower too?" "Do you remember this flower?" I asked. "Of course! I sent it to your mother every day in our past lives when she was ill. I could not send it in this life because your family expressed that you would not be epting any gifts from me until you were much older," Erik said. For whatever reason, my other self and my family had refused any gifts from Erik ever since I was young in this life. I thought it was incredibly strange... If the other me knew that the flower was killing my mother, she would have stopped all ess of Erik''s presents as well. My mother from this life contracted the same illness that took her life in our first lives. The only difference was that she beat the illness on her own with little medical intervention. It was strange in the first ce for her to cold despite only getting a few colds every other year. If the reason behind her mysterious death was because of a single flower... "...What were you thinking back then when you chose this flower for my mother in our past lives?" I asked. "Of course, I wanted her to get better, so I chose the prettiest flower I could. The colors brilliantly matched with your light blue eyes and pink hair," Erik said with an innocent smile. He chose this flower because it had the same shades of my hair and eye color? I do not want to think that childlike innocence caused the death of my own beloved mother... "...You are always thinking of me," I said with upturned lips. "If you brought the flower to me because you recalled good memories, I will be happy to ept it from you and put it on my nightstand," Erik said as he held out his hand. I dropped the flower by my feet and quickly squished the flower under my heels. "...I am sorry. I identally stepped on it," I said. "You do not have to be sorry. I actually feel sorrier that I could not prevent your shoe from getting dirty," Erik said. "...Erik, I actually do not like this flower at all." When I looked up the name of the flower in the book, I still had with me, I found the flower quite easily because Garett told me the correct name. The flower was very simr to the harmless Centaurea cyanus, but the soil conditions and where it was founded was from a very dangerous forest filled with many poisonous nts. The book I had with the me was a very rare book containing beautiful and rare poisonous nts that looked simr tomon nts. It is not Erik''s fault that he did not know that the flower was poisonous when we were younger. If there is anyone that could have tricked a child into sending a poisonous flower to a Duchess, there is only one person I could think of who would have any resentment towards my mother...Queen Gaelle. I should have burned her entire garden down... Chapter 98: Unraveling Chapter 98: Unraveling My memories of my past life end with Erik''s stabbing. Myst memories of my first life consisted of me learning for the first time that I was pregnant through the Royal Doctor. I went to my appointment with Dolton Grass right afterwards. Instead of Dolton, I met with Kaya Ouchi whoid in wait with a dagger in her hands. To protect me, Erik had used his body and identally got hurt. What happened afterwards continues to be a blur. I had beencking memories of my past life as well. If I force myself to keep recounting the memories, a little more of the details be clearer each time. I procured a memory enhancing drug from the ck market and took it in my room alone. I chose not to drink it before because it was incredibly unsafe to drink as it could possibly make the individual taking it very nauseous, experience excruciating pain, and even possibly having one''s mind broken if the memories are too traumatic for the user to bear on their own. All of this unease of not being able to remember anything properly will end today. I will drink the vial with the memory enhancing drug. You have pushed me this far, Erik... I felt excruciating headaches for a while before some scenes started appearing more clearly in my memories. I dropped the vial in my hand when an image of my own death popped up into my mind. It was then that I remembered Erik and I both died that day. I killed myself right after I assumed Erik died on myp, which is unthinkable considering I was pregnant and that a doctor had not yet confirmed Erik''s death since only a doctor could confirm someone''s death. The flow of memories stopped right after I killed myself. I only used a small amount of the memory enhancing drug because using too much could result in a higher risk of having mental degradation, but that was enough for now. I saved the rest for some other time if I possibly needed it. The current headache was enough to make me nearly faint...Using drugs like that to make my memory return is not an option that I want to rely on. Also, the memory of my own death was excruciatingly painful. Digging up the memory made me recall the overwhelming sadness, hopelessness, and the despair I felt continued to make my heart suffer. If Erik died, I would have tortured Kaya Ouchi by cutting off all of her fingers and then her limbs and then punished her coborators in the same fashion. There is no way that I would have been as sweet as to let them all off while Erik and I would die by ourselves. Something told me that Queen Gaelle had something to do with my suicide attempt as well. Against Garett''s wishes, I researched more information about the Gympie nt. I had learned about the nt from a botanical expert. The preparations for it were to take the roots and boiling it in water to extract the poison from it. All they would have to do then is either drink the extracted poison or let ite in contact with an open wound. I was then told that it was a nt where people would take if they wanted tomit suicide. Drinking the extracted liquid or having ite in contact with an open wound would cause excruciating pain, strong hallucinations, and elicited the feelings in the brain that told one tomit suicide. The affected individual would not experience such symptoms right away but shortly afterwards. On that day, the Royal Doctor gave me a shot of vitamins before allowing me to go off to my appointment with Dolton. The color was an odd purple color much like that of the extracted poison from the Gympie roots. It turns out that Queen Gaelle is such a despicable person...She could not kill my mother herself, so she sent her own son as a messenger of death. The way that she was looking at me at the tea party probably made her look for a solution where she could kill me without getting her own hands dirty. If she sent me a letter coated with a razor coated with the poison, she could easily poison me with a prick of my finger and kill me that way. Thankfully, the roots are not so easily obtained on the market. I heard news of it appearing on the secret ck-market auctions from my information broker Sparrow. I sent one my retainers to bid on my behalf and won the Gympie roots easily with my vast wealth that surpasses that of the Royal Family. I N?velDrama.Org ? content. obtained the roots after it was delivered to my house not muchter. I now had both the book and the roots Queen Gaelle desperately wanted. ...Now, what will you do, Mother-inw? Chapter 99: Imitation Chapter 99: Imitation Queen Dowager Iris invited me over for some tea with her a weekter. I wore a simple white buttoned up shirt with a striped bow tie and a long red skirt with gold embroidery. "Lady Arielle, I am so d that you could make it," Queen Dowager said as she walked over to me and grabbed my hands. "...It is an honor to be invited. Of course, I woulde to repay my respects towards the Queen Dowager and Her Majesty Queen Gaelle," I said as I turned my head towards Queen Gaelle. Queen Dowager made me sit by her side again. "I have heard that my grandchild has been inviting Lady Arielle to the Castle quite often these days," Queen Dowager said. "People of the Court like to gossip about my movements. It is a bit unpleasant to have my every movement being watched," I said with a smile. "I feel the same way. The Court is really stuffy in that kind of way. That is probably why I like you so much, Lady Arielle. You are a breath of fresh air with your honesty and have a strange charm that draws people in. I hope that you will continue to be a good influence on this kingdom in the future," Queen Dowager said. Queen Dowager Iris is honestly concerned with me. That is why it hurts to let down the expectations of someone I have respected for a long time. On my way back, I ran into Queen Gaelle. I did a curtsy to be respectful and went on my way. "How long have you known?" Queen Gaelle asked. For the first time ever, I heard her speak to me. If I had not known that she poisoned both my mother and me, I would have been ted to hear that she was finally willing to speak to me. All she is doing now is admitting her crime to me after I have found out everything of her ns. "...I have no idea what you are talking about," I said. I absolutely loathe the kind of person you are, but it was not like I was a person without any faults. I made many people hate me during my first life. I lived in ignorance thinking that my love for Erik could N?velDrama.Org ? content. get through anything without doing anything on my end. That is probably why Erik suffered so much because of me. "...You are just like her in every way possible. It sickens me," Queen Gaelle said as she covered her face with her hands. "...You have long won over my mother when you took His Majesty from her. Leave her alone from now on," I said. "I used my family''s power assets to separate His Majesty from your mother and seeded in getting married to him, but I know that his heart is not with me," Queen Gaelle said. "My mother is already happily married with my father," I said as I clenched my fists. "Lady Amalie got married to the Duke and gained the happiness of a loving family, while I have to continuously live-in doubt of His Majesty''s affections. Then, she had you...You are almost the carbon copy of her. All of those years of fear were as I expected! His Majesty most likely chose you as my son''s fianc¨¦e because he knew that you would grow up to look just like her. Even my own son is infatuated with you! When you are with my son, it is like I am watching my husband fall in love with Lady Amalie again," Queen Gaelle said as she lifted her face up from her hands. A cold wind blew through and knocked her hat with her veil off. It was then that I understood why she always wore a veil. Her re could pierce into the soul of others. I could only remain silent as I watched her show me her bitterness unfold. "Every time I look at you, I just want you to writhe in agony. When you were younger, the Prince asked me what kind of flower suited the Lady of the Maddox House. I had him deliver a poisonous flower to you, but somehow found a a way through it all after everything and everyone I sent to you. Even that despicable Baron girl was of no use. She had ck hair just like mine. If only she were smarter, she could have won the Prince''s heart," Queen Gaelle said bitterly. The flower that killed my mother was meant to kill me... The young Erik probably said along the lines, "I want to find a flower that suits the Lady of the Maddox House." Queen Gaelle probably thought the flower was meant for me instead of my sickly mother. "It would have been perfect if you died by the Prince''s own hands...Nothing would make me happier if Lady Amalie died by her own lover''s hands," Queen Gaelle said with a twisted smile on her face. Just because Erik looks like His Majesty and I look like my mother does not automatically make us like our parents. Queen Gaelle was trying to live her fantasy childhood through people that looked like my mother, His Majesty, and herself. She then wanted everything to burn after not getting the result she wanted. What a Princessplex... "All you have is ugly jealousy of other people''s love...I am not my mother and Erik is not His Majesty," I said. "That is a lie! You sound and look just like Lady Amalie," Queen Gaelle said as she grabbed me by my shoulders. "I am not her! Neither is Erik! Stop using your own children as tools to fulfill your own fantasies!" I yelled as I shook her off of me. This woman is terribly selfish and incorrigible. She was even possibly worse than Kaya Ouchi. She soon pped me. "You won''t do as I say either!" Queen Gaelle screamed as she threw herself at me. "Give up the Prince for me, Lady Amalie!" I was soon pulled from behind into a protective embrace. "That will be enough, Queen Gaelle," Garett said as he pushed me behind him. "It is because you exist as well that I cannot be happy either!" Queen Gaelle said as she lunged herself at Garett. "Stop!" King Arundel yelled from a distance. "Prince...this is not what it looks like," Queen Gaelle said in surprise. Erik said that he was also never called by his name. To Queen Gaelle, King Arundel and Erik were both Prince to her. "I understand, Gaelle," King Arundel said as he walked over and held Queen Gaelle''s shoulders. "I am sorry for everything..." King Arundel was about to take her away. At this rate, there will never be any closure for her... I moved Garett aside and walked in front of him. "Your Highness!" I yelled. Both King Arundel and Queen Gaelle turned their heads toward me at the same time. "...I am deeply in love with you. Please marry me," I said to King Arundel as I held my hands over my chest. King Arundel released Queen Gaelle and walked over to me. "...I am sorry, Amalie. I cannot be with you. The only person I have room for in my heart is Gaelle," King Arundel said as he lowered his head to me. "...You finally chose me," Queen Gaelle said as she clung onto King Arundel. "Please be happy from now on, Your Highness," I said as I lowered my head as well. Garett pulled me away by my arm. Something about watching his back from behind brought ease to both my mind and body. I could barely notice the pain in my cheek after having my wrist being gently pulled along. Chapter 100: Crimson Moon Chapter 100: Crimson Moon I am always saved by this person...Whenever I am experiencing any troubles or doubt, he is always there right beside me like a guardian Angel. Garett led me to the medical sickbay and had me sit on a chair while he looked around for medicine. After finding a small container, Garett grabbed a chair before scooting towards me. I found him exceedingly close from how our knees were touching each other. I could not look at him straight in the eye, so I kept my gaze lowered, but then realized that I was staring at our interlocked legs and felt even more embarrassed at the situation. In the end, I just chose to tightly shut my eyes. "Why does it seem like you are bracing yourself?" Garett asked as he opened the salve container. I snapped my eyes open. I remembered back to those days where I had to practice dancing with Garett in my first life. He would always ruthlessly step on my toes if I ever identally stepped on his feet. He was rarely ever kind to me in those days. "...I am ready!" I said strongly as I braced myself. "This will hurt a bit," Garett said as he thered the ointment over my cheek. Instead of pain, I felt my cheek slowly grow numb and cool with his every touch. He then lightly taped a bandage with dressing over my cheek. Garett is a terrible liar... "You seem to always appear when I am trouble," I said quietly. He looked at me in surprise. He then lowered his gaze and narrowed his eyes. "...It is guilt. Everything bad that has happened to you is all my fault. All of your suffering is my doing. Even with Queen Gaelle turning out that way is all because of me...I help you because I want to lessen my own guilt," Garett said as heced his fingers over hisp. I feel miserable...and not because of my cheek. When I look at Garett, I feel confused about my own feelings. I am Erik''s fianc¨¦e and his wife of our past lives. I am supposed to love him above all others, yet I continuously hold doubts over my future rtionship with Erik. "I feel miserable everyday...I cannot remember half of my memories and I barely remember you, yet my heart mysteriously yearns for you. The people who know me well will not tell me anything about my missing memories. All I can do is just wait for these memories that may or may never return. I feel alone all of the time. It feels like there is an evesting void in my heart that is slowly swallowing me up. I cannot stand. Tell me how I can fill this void," I said as I held my hand over my throbbing heart. "...I am sorry, but I cannot be the one to fill that void," Garett said indifferently as he left me alone in the sickbay. When I first opened my eyes, I rejected this person. The next time I saw him, he rejected me. For these past few weeks, I have found that this Garett is a little different from the one I used to know. He is much more caring and kinder than the one in my memories. As oblivious as I usually am to my own feelings, I am aware that I am subconsciously attracted to this person even if it is incredibly immoral when I have a loving fianc¨¦ like Erik. I thought that he might help me recover my memories when I decided toy out my feelings for the first Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. time. In the end, my gamble failed. I was rejected yet again even though I had revealed my deepest and darkest secret to him. They were feelings that I could not even dare convey to my own fianc¨¦ out of fear that my thoughts would ruin everything. Now, I am still just as miserable or even more miserable than before talking to him. Having missing parts of my memory is so inconvenient...It feels as if I am dancing to another''s tune. In this case, I am dancing around myself who has lived this life and undeniably...ruined everything around me as well as for me. I went home a little whileter. I told my parents that I had fallen down the stairs when they saw the injury over my cheek. After having an awkward dinner, I went to my personal Library and read a few books on retrieving one''s memory. Some suggested ways were to reenact the scenes of thest memory that was perceived. Thatst memory consisted of me killing myself. The only other option I had was taking a drug that could lead to my own mental breakdown. I feel like I am getting further left behind each day...and that is one of the loneliest feelings I had ever experienced before. I was now at a point where I was desperate to regain what I had lost. If I drink the drug, there is a possibility that I might lose all sense of reasoning. If I were to try stabbing my chest, I would surely die. ...What if I were able to stimte the feeling of my own death? From my nightstand, I took out the dagger I kept out of my way for a long time. It was maybe the second time I unsheathed it ever since I got it as a gift from my father. When I saw my own refection in the de, I realized how haggard I looked. After being constantly rejected and receiving almost no help from anyone on retrieving my lost memories, I was slowly losing hope from how even the only memories I currently had seemed murkier each day. If this continues, I am going to lose my mind anyways...At the very least, I want to be in charge of my own destiny. I held the de perpendicr to my wrist as I stared up at the beautiful moon and starry sky. "...All of these stars are still in the sky, yet I still feel all alone." My wrist became covered in a crimson color that dripped to the floor and created a mirror reflection of the night sky and a Crimson Moon. Chapter 101: Cursed Feelings Chapter 101: Cursed Feelings I lived my whole life to be a perfect fianc¨¦e. Day in and day out, I received intense and strict training and listened to others about what it meant to be a Crown Princess. I underwent everything without days of what seemed like never ending lessons. Despite being able to take on whatever was given to me with little faults, I could never find or develop my own aspirations. I was someone without a true purpose in life. In other words, I was an empty person. "I hate you...You will never be the object of my affection. I will marry you to satisfy our families, but I will never love you," Prince Erik said to my child self. When I first met Erik, he told me coldly that my only purpose in life was to help him solidify his position through the unification of our families. At first, I thought he was quite the honest idiot, but in a way, it was refreshing how he clearly stated his intentions of not expecting love from our future union. It worked in my favor as well because I was someone who could notprehend the feeling of love and was unconfident about being able to properly reciprocate it. I did wonder about what I did to earn his hate before even meeting him before and continued pondering about it and identally forgot to answer him. "Hey! Are you deaf!" As he approached me, I felt scared by his angry face and began walking backwards. I suddenly lost my bnce and tripped over the fountain. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that very person who spewed so much hate towards me reach his hand out with a panicked expression. I grabbed his hand without much thought, and we both ended up in the fountain. "...I am so very sorry," I apologized. "You are rather clumsy," he said in an annoyed voice. From that day, I continued meeting up with Prince Erik when he woulde over to my home several times for some reason. I always assumed that he wascking in interaction with children his age, so he woulde to bother me. Despite him acting rather rude towards me in several instances, he would stille back and show his care for me. I just assumed his bad attitude came from his social awkwardness with girls. He was oddly sweet in his own unique way. In that awkwardness, I foundfort in being around him, but I did not think it was much of a feeling like the love I had overheard my Maids had spoken about. "I have heard that without His Highness Prince Erik around, Lady Arielle does not have a partner befitting of sharing meaningful conversations with. I hope that Garett will provide you some entertainment," Marquis Alvin said as he pushed his son towards me. What a pushy parent... "I am Arielle Maddox," I said as I did a curtsy. "Garett Alvin," he introduced himself with a bow. I had heard that he was a year older than me, but his manners were quite good for his age. He had dressed neatly infortable clothes and had enchantingly silky straight midnight ck hair that formed an almost perfect halo around his head like an Angel. Hisrge round eyesses seemed to unfashionably cover half of his face, making him downgrade his own appeal. Marquis Alvin soon saw himself out with my father. "...We are alone," I said during the awkwardness of silence. "Shall we find something to do to find a meaningful way to spend our time?" Garett suggested. He was surprisingly a good sport. On my suggestion, I asked that he y chess with me. He readily agreed as if he expected chess to be the standard way to pass time with another person. "...I cannot believe it. All of my moves were countered," I said in almostplete disbelief. It was as if he had seen all of my tricks before and had developed counters for all of them. I was terribly beaten at the game I thought I had an edge in. "Haha...I guess that you have to try harder from now on," Garett said in a soft voice apanied by a charming chuckle. For the next few weeks, Garett woulde and go out of my manor and would entertain me with various games or conversations psychology and or about the history of different countries. He spoke rather enthusiastically about topics that interested him as they had rted to his dream of traveling around and learning more about other cultures. He himself told me that he had nned on studying out of the country like Erik. I felt oddly lonelier than I thought I would be when I heard that our days together would end so quickly. Garett challenged me in various ways and opened up my world with is ever expansive knowledge. On top of that all, he had be an existence I continuously looked forward to meeting every day. "Lady Arielle, you seem a bit depressed these past few days," Ste my mother''s personal Maid said. "...Am I?" "Are you feeling lonely because your loved one is so far from you?" Ste asked. "Lonely?" "It is normal for you to feel a bit lonely if you are away from someone you love," Ste said. I had been feeling offtely ever since I heard that Garett was going to study abroad in another kingdom. Was I feeling lonely because I fell in love with Garett and was sad that he was leaving? The next time I saw Garett, he seemed to be waiting for me in my personal Library as we had made it our regr ce of meeting since we both enjoyed reading books together in silence. "Your Library is always filled with books about romance," Garett said. When I saw him, my heart filled with joy again. This feeling surely must be... "Don''t you think that love is a difficult emotion to understand?" I asked. "Such a feeling was developed because there was arge need to procreate more children for the sake of maintaining a decent number of descendants for the future of humankind. Our ancestors found that couples in love were more likely to bear more stable children from love-based marriages. However, as our knowledge of biology continues to grow, we have learned that love is not so important in rtionships between men and women. It is the biologicalponent in all of us that makes us all nearly equally fertile. Therefore, it is possible to have children even without having love-based rtionships," Garett said coldly. "Is love useless then?" I asked. "For Nobles like us, it is meaningless. Marriage between Nobles usually meant for only one thing...political advantage. That was the same for our parents and will eventually be the same for us," Garett said. I think that was his roundabout way of rejecting me. I tucked those feelings I had for Garett away and stowed them deep into the back of my heart as I devoted the rest of my life and directed all of my feelings for my fianc¨¦ Erik once again because as he said, love was "meaningless." Therefore, the correct way of living was only for our duty. When I saw Garett again, he had treated me like a stranger and often scolded me rather harshly whenever he saw me. In a way, he motivated me to be a more resilient, challenged me to be better, and most importantly protected me from distasteful rumors. I remained naive even up to my wedding day with Erik. I never realized that Garett had left to protect me from the rumors of infidelity surrounding me. Without being able to thank him even once, he did me one more service and sacrificed himself so that I could escape my pursuers. This time, ourst goodbye really ended up as ourst conversation together. Not long afterwards, his body return to me in pieces... When I woke up in my own bed, I found tears falling from my eyes. I was half filled with disappointment from not finding all the answers I wanted despite using drastic means to return my memories. The other half was filled with sadness about no longer being able to return to those days of ignorant bliss. Like a curse, so many people I loved dearly died early deaths because of me. It is all my fault... I should have listened to Garett and never loved anyone. Even without having retrieved all of my memories back, I could fully understand why my other self deliberately tried to separate herself from both Erik as well as Garett. It is just so much easier to save everyone if you make the ones you want to save hate you. In the end, no one will be desperate to save me anymore... Chapter 102: Martyr Complex Chapter 102: Martyr Complex When I sat upright, I felt a slight stinging sensation in my wrist. It was mostly numb most likely from the medication. It would have been better if it hurt a little more. Maybe then I could distract myself from the throbbing pain in my heart. I squeezed my wrist and saw blood seep through the bandages. I felt dismayed that the pain from my wrist could only distract me for a moment. "...Arielle, I aming in," Erik said as he entered my room. He soon ran over to me and grabbed my injured wrist and inspected it. "God, Arielle! You are bleeding again!" "...I am fine. I just need to change out of my old bandages," I said as I pulled my arm back. "...Arielle, please talk to me. I received news that you had hurt yourself," Erik said as he rubbed his head with his hand. "You are good at feigning sympathy towards other people," I said coldly. "Arielle?" "You are such a liar, Erik," I said with a sigh. "What are you talking about, Arielle?" Erik asked. "...Our engagement had been long broken off," I said. This is obviously a trick to see if Erik did lie to me since his actions had been so suspicious from the start. "Did your memories return?" Erik asked. Erik fell my trick so easily... I most likely found a way to end my engagement with Erik in this life. That is probably why Erik had been acting strangely in trying to make me announce our engagement whenever our future together was brought up. I was not sure of it before, but now I know of it...Erik lied to me. Erik had used my amnesia to force me into an engagement I had not agreed with. My other self desperately tried to break off her rtionship with both men whom she both cared for deeply. "...You thought that you could take advantage of me because of my amnesia," I said coldly. "That is not it, Arielle..." "What is it then! Are you saying that you did it to help me? I still do not remember everything, but I have recalled enough. I remember all of the suffering I endured to be your wife. All of it became pointless when you sacrificed your life for me. This is thest straw I have had of your martyr tendencies," I said harshly. "What happened back then was an ident. We have gone past that and prevented everything from happening like that again. With Kaya Ouchi and her coborators arrested, there is no one else who can hurt either of us anymore," Erik said. Erik is someone out of a fairytale to me. He was a perfect Prince and a Hero to me, but his self- sacrificial nature hurt me all of the time. Even worse, I affected everyone else in the kingdom by not correcting Erik when I needed to. "...I had realized my mistake in trying to show you affection has only further spiraled you into bing a disappointment. I had failed your father in correcting your behavior by letting you live ording to your own devices. To think that I created a self-centered Prince...I cannot atone enough for the people of Arundel," I said. "...Did you try to kill yourself to hurt me? Is this the lesson that you wanted to teach me? Was forcing my self-sacrificial feelings onto you was driving you to the point of despair?" Erik asked. I cut my wrist to drive me closer to death to regain my memories. Erik''s suspicions were actually not that far off, but it is better if he misunderstands for now. "As your Queen, I supported you with all of my heart because of my duty to your father, but person I loved was never you. I have always hated you. I bore all of the suffering that came with bing Queen and failed miserably. If I have to return to those days, I would rather not return at all," I said as I clenched my fists. Erik suddenly pulled me into his embrace. "...I''m sorry for everything. I am ipetent that you have to lie and endure so much by yourself. I was not aware that I was hurting you by hurting myself all of the time...I''m sorry, I''m sorry for making you lie and hurt yourself by saying things that you do not mean. It is all my fault. If you have any pent-up anger, just direct it all at me and don''t hurt yourself anymore," Erik said as he squeezed me tighter. "...Erik." "Just rely on me and do not keep searching for things that will hurt you in the future," Erik said. Erik will never change...He will forever try to protect me as his Princess and will take away everything that will possibly hurt me, but that is not reality...It is all still a fantasy... I do not want to continue living as his perfect fianc¨¦e and live off of his generosity like a leech forever. I pushed Erik off of me and grabbed a vial off of my nightstand before jumping out of bed. "...I have been suffering ever since I woke up at the hospital! Even though I am with you and enjoy spending time with you, it feels as though my heart is somewhere else. On top of that, you constantly tell me that it is better to not remember anything and just rely on you. I wanted to be someone who is your equal, not cared for like a precious bird who is locked in a cage," I said as I clutched the vial in front of my face. "When you lost your memory of your second life, I thought that I could make your heart move and return us to those days when we were happy together," Erik said. For a short time, I was truly happy in our first lives, but now all I feel is the dread of living a lie every time I wake up in this body. "...Those memories are not enough," I said as I grit my teeth. "I am partially missing my memories from our first lives as well. All of my deepest and darkest memories are missing. Even now, it was only just Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. recently that I could remember how Garett died. I do not want you to decide what is my happiness anymore...Once I drink this, I will remember everything." "Don''t tell me...that vial is a memory enhancing drug?" Erik asked. "...Since neither you nor anyone else want to help me recover my lost memories, I am going to decide on my own happiness from now on," I said as I tried drinking the rest of the vial. The first time I tried the drug, I only drank 1/8 of it and it already made me nauseas. The directions said that drinking any more than that could have dangerous health repercussions and possibly even death. I do not want to continue living in a fantasy where everything is seemingly perfect when it is obviously not. "Arielle! Stop!" We were all sadly living like martyrs...Erik, Garett, and myself. That is why I will be selfish for now... Chapter 103: Hollow Memories Chapter 103: Hollow Memories I soon found myself on the ground with the vial spilled over by my side and Erik hovering over me with his entire body. "Do you have to remember everything? Why can we not just continue living like this?" Erik asked with a pained expression. "It would all be a lie in the end," I said coldly. "...If not remembering is making you suffer either way, I will tell you the truth, so don''t take suspicious drugs anymore," Erik said as he helped me up and sat me back on my bed. "I want to hear all of it," I said. "...I will start with the fact that we are no longer engaged. You went through with it when you requested to go through with it to my father. He always had a soft spot for you and the Duchess, so he readily agreed when you asked for the dissolution of our engagement," Erik said. "You agreed?" "Of course, I didn''t," Erik said. When Erik told me that I had left him because I had proimed that I was deeply in love with Garett. I could not believe it at first, but gradually felt that all of the pieces fit together despite still not remembering one thing about him from our second lives. As I heard all of this, I could only think ''Wow, the other me was pretty wild''... I must have had a crazy meter running to think of such a reason as to use Garett in my schemes. I had always thought that I had acted within rationality, but for me to do such a thing, I can only call myself a true deviant. "In the past, I always knew that you had a special ce for Garett in your heart," Erik said. I felt my heart drop for a moment. "...I never did anything disgraceful with him while I was married to you," I said. "...I knew that Garett was in love with you ever since we were young. His eyes would always follow you wherever you were, but he always kept silent about his feelings because you were going to be my Queen. People who were jealous of his excellence put up baseless rumors about his improper feelings towards you but that also resulted in rumors of your infidelity to which it reached my ears. Of course, I did not believe in them but had to find out Garett''s true feelings. When I confronted him about his feelings, he told me honestly that he was sincerely in love with you but would not do anything that would dare hurt your reputation and left right before our wedding. In my heart, I was a little d because I could then continue to keep you to myself," Erik confessed. "...Erik." "You were perfect when you supported me as my other half, but I never once really saw you open your heart to me after our marriage. Whenever I told you that I loved you, it always seemed as if you were parroting after me...I just thought that you were the type who just could not fully open your heart," Erik said solemnly. "No, that is not true. I have opened my heart to you before..." While I was receiving lessons as the future Queen, many of my tutors told me that it was shameful to show emotion or cling to Erik, so I closed off my heart and most of my emotions. "You probably do not remember the day you saw Garett''s corpse very well either. Against all advisory, you personally removed his head from the wooden stake in the ground and cradled him in your arms. You cried your heart out for what seemed like hours," Erik said. Images of that day started flooding into my head. Everything was just as Erik said. I cradled Garett''s N?velDrama.Org is the owner. head in my arms. I could remember the little details such as thevender color of my dress that I wore that day, the heavy metallic scent of blood I smelled, the dirt that covered the ends of my dress, and how I was covered with Garett''s blood. The only thing that I could not recall was Erik''s face that day... "I was the one who refused to exchange Garett for the documents on Asmarian ancient weaponry, but you never med me and acted as if you were the one who let him die. It was not long after that you changed," Erik continued. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You were relentless and cruel. You started a purge of the entire kingdom starting with Marquis Pir''s son as a prime example. You also brought to light a number of corrupted Nobles and either whipped them into shape or executed ones you saw no hope in," Erik said. As he told me what had happened in the past, my memories of that time started flooding back to me. Garett was a big part of my life. I thought that he only protected me from that time I got kidnapped, but it turns out that he has been there for me and protecting me for a long time and that he held a bigger ce in my heart than I thought he did. My oblivious nature made me realize everything toote. It was only until I lost him that arge hole opened in my heart. That marked the beginning of those long dark days... "I was cruel and ruthless because I felt a strong void in my heart. If only I did it all sooner, Garett and everyone else would not have had to die," I said as I covered my face with my hands. "Many Nobles found it unpleasant that someone, much less a woman, was sopetent and ruthless. Even my Advisors said that there was a chance that the Nobles would gather to put together rumors that could hurt your reputation and in return decrease your influence over them. The most sure-fire way of solidifying your position would have been to make you bear an heir," Erik said. "Is that why you..." "How cruel would it have been if I suggested that while I knew your heart was leaving me? You barely spoke to me much less looked at me even though I was your husband! During that loneliness, I wanted for you to look at me even if it meant hurting you and I incidentally did. I vowed to love and cherish you, but things were already so irreparable then," Erik said as heced his hands together. I was hurting then. All I wanted for you to do was stay by my side...but not that way. "Then, as if some miracle happened, you forgot about the entire incident of when Garett died and returned back to who you were. For the first time in six months since Garett died, you finally smiled at me again. I thought that you forgetting was a way for you to cope with the sadness, so I never tried forcing you to relive those memories again. Even if it was all a lie, you returned to me for a short while," Erik continued. In those memories, Erik also kept me at an arm''s length because he knew that I was hurting, but I was the person who first pulled away. "When I found out that I was pregnant, I truly was happy...That part is not a lie," I said as I hugged Erik. "...Thank you," Erik said as he pats my back. After a while, we soon separated. Erik soon got on his knees in front of me and gripped my hands ever so slightly as he gazed at me straightforwardly. "...Erik?" "I love you and will love you until the end of time...Will you please give me another chance and marry me again?" Erik asked. "...I still love you and will probably continue loving you forever," I said with tears falling from my eyes. Erik seemed to understand my answer from how I reacted. I knew that I loved Erik but could not love him with all of my heart. We hurt each other too many times...It was to the point where I could not ept him as my partner anymore. "...I still do not want to ept it. Your heart no longer recognizes me as the most important person in your life anymore," Erik said with tears falling down the side of his face. "Why do I feel like this? I should obviously love you whom is the number one person in my heart, but why does my body tell me that you are not the one I am looking for?" I asked as I began crying. "My heart is always weeping despite being with you." "I had lived two lives but constantly wondered if I was always fighting for a ce in your heart. I knew deep down that there was someone more important to you in your heart but could not ept it. I did so many terrible things to you out of jealousy and constantly made you suffer because I could not let you go because of my selfishness. I''m sorry for everything, Arielle," Erik said. My heart hurts as if it was being stabbed by a thousand needles. "I''m sorry too for being such a terrible fianc¨¦e, Erik..." I said as I wiped his tears away with my hands. I soon coughed onto my hands. My hands were surprisingly both dyed in my fresh blood. When I coughed again, I found myself choking on my own vomit of blood. "Arielle!" This must be my punishment for hurting so many people in my past life. I was now paying for my mistakes... Chapter 104: Longing Chapter 104: Longing I fell into a deep sleep. During that time, I slowly regained bits and pieces of my memories of my second life. My memories seemed to y back as if I were flipping through the pages of a book. The contents were filled with sad as well as happy memories. Those were exactly the memories I was longing to remember. They soon led up the I woke up in the hospital after the bookcase fell on me and saw Garett. I saw the face of true relief on Garett''s face, yet the bitter memory of me witnessing the desecration of Garett''s dead body popping into my mind up all of a sudden, released all of my pent-up aggression onto Garett. I ended upshing at him and calling him a fake and imposter... I hated myself for saying such hurtful words to him. Garett had been struggling with being called an imposter his whole life because of his origins. When I said those things, I was just rubbing salt on his wounds. Even after all of that, he still looked genuinely more concerned for my wellbeing despite all of my screaming at him. When I woke up, I saw that very same face of relief on Garett''s barren face. His face was unhidden by his sses and revealed his tear-stricken face. It was a first time in both lives that I had seen such a face covered in tears. "...Arielle, you are finally awake," Garett said. I felt my hands being gripped when he said that. "Garett?" I said in surprise as I took my hand back. "Are you in any pain or difort right now?" Garett asked. "...Not necessarily," I answered. "Good...Now, I am going to scold you," Garett said as he took in a deep breath. "Scold?" "You are a fool, Arielle Maddox! How could you take a suspicious drug and forego the directions on the prescription? Do you know what the people around you went through to find you a Doctor who could help you? Why is it that you must be a regr guest as a patient? Are you a masochist? Do you like hurting yourself so often? Why don''t you think of the people around you for once, you self-sacrificial girl!" Garett said in one breath. I was surprised to have been nagged like this for the first time in my life. "...I''m sorry," I said weakly. "As you should be!" Garett said. "...Why are you here?" I asked. "Charlotte Castile said that you had hurt yourself because of me and that I needed toe over to apologize to you. When I came over to see you, everyone was panicking because you were vomiting blood from something you drank. The Prince told me that you drank a memory enhancing drug but was unsure of the contents. I had read some articles on the base nt used for the drug. It had been illegal for some time, so research on it was banned until now. Thankfully, the base nt had not changed, and so we were able to treat your symptoms rather swiftly. If it had been any longer, it could have been fatal," Garett exined. "Thank you for saving me," I said as I tried sitting up. Garett said that he hated me...Does he still feel that way now? If it was a lie, why did he say such a thing? "...I hate it," Garett said. "Hate?" "I hate how you are always hurting yourself for that Prince. Over and over again, you hurt yourself and end up in a sorry state like this. One day, you are going to end up dead! Is that man worth dying for?" Garett asked. I did end up dying already. This is my second life, but it seems almost as wretched as the first one. "...Yes," I answered. "Darn it, Arielle! There is no cure for idiocy! Do you know how painful dying is?" Garett asked. "...I do. I know very well the pain of dying almost more than anyone else. I know very well of the hopelessness, the despair, and the loneliness of watching people around me dying one by one," I said as I began crying. "I have suffered though it all alone again and again! No one could understand my pain of watching everything burn to mes as I watch my loved ones leave me one by one! No one tried to console me even when I was screaming in pain every day!" "What are you talking about, Arielle?" Garett asked. I calmed down after hearing his voice and took a deep breath. "I am not perfect...I am definitely not a kind or benevolent person. I am a terribly selfish girl. I have made mistakes, hurt many people, and even killed people with my own hands. Even so, nothing could fill the void I had of losing people I cared for. If I have to continue watching other people get hurt because of me, I would rather take on all of the pain myself. I have experienced the pain of loss enough. Why do I have to lose my reason for my pain too? It is like I suffered for nothing," I said. "Arielle, no one will understand you if you never say anything," Garett said. "How could I say anything?" I asked. I was constantly suffering...quietly enduring the pain of performing the role I was meant to y. The other you always told me that we were all born into certain roles that we all needed to perform. The one I was meant to y was that of Erik''s fianc¨¦e and yours was that of Erik''s Advisor. The other you always ridiculed me and told me that I was unfit as Erik''s fianc¨¦e. That made me want to work harder to gain your approval as well as working on improving my rtionship with Erik. I eventually fell in love again and gave my all into supporting Erik as his fianc¨¦e. He then confused me by telling me he had feelings for me and then saying that it was all a joke as if he liked ying with my heart. Even then, I promised myself that I would devote myself to Erik. I could not take the risk to break off my engagement with Erik to be with someone who I did not know even loved me back, nor could I tell anyone about my immoral feelings towards someone who was not my fianc¨¦. I was hurting internally, yet Garett thought using such teasing words would not affect me in the least when it hurt me more than his tant insults towards me. I hated his ignorance towards my feelings and him constantly pushing me towards being a better fianc¨¦ to Erik. Even on my wedding day with Erik, he decided to leave right before it. It was as if all of his actions told me that he did not love or care for me. What little hope I had for my feelings to be returned had shattered. I then forced myself to fall in love with Erik. "...Is hurting yourself the only answer?" Garett asked. "...I had been coddled by everyone around me. Whatever pain I experience from now on would be minuscule if youpare it to the pain they felt. My hard work paid off so far," I answered. "Are you going to continue hurting yourself until you are satisfied?" Garett asked. "Anything is better than living in regret of having lost something I will never get back," I answered. "...I don''t understand why you act so desperate over everything," Garett said. Why am I so desperate? Why do I have to endure everything by myself? It is all because I am punishing myself for being such a foolish person... "...Why did you have to die? Why was it that I had to learn about your true feelings right before you died in my ce? Why did you save the deplorable me who could only rely on others to make decisions for her? Why did you leave me such a painful memory without even a proper goodbye? Why...Why?" I asked as I buried my head into my hands. I understand that this Garett has no memories of my past life together, but the questions I that I always wanted to ask are suddenly pouring out of me along with the feelings I kept bottled up. "After dying in my stead, I was left with an incredibly cold and bitter heart. I hurt and killed many people while wallowing in my misery of your death. I thought that I would be free of the misery once I purged the kingdom of the same people who had hurt you. In the end, revenge did not ease my heart one bit. It only added to my list of regrets. What I wanted most was unachievable...Even if I turned the kingdom upside down, I could not bring the people I love back. I was willing to ept any punishment if it meant that I could write over my mistakes," I said as I lifted my head from my hands. When time turned back, I thought that it was my chance to make things right. The only things I have Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. been doing only consisted of me living in my own vanity. I lived the way I wanted, said the things that I always wanted to say, and built a rtionship with the person I always wanted to be with. In truth, that was all just me being selfish and trying to live a life outside my role but still clung to Garett''s ideals in trying to right all of my mistakes, starting with saving Erik from demise. Protecting him gave me purpose as well as gave me an excuse that my decisions warranted my actions. Just my existence brings people pain and misfortune... Garett sacrificed himself for such a wretched girl who he was not sure even loved him. "...I hate you so much. If you were going to leave my heart in so much disarray, I wish you never stepped in my life to begin with," I said as I clenched my fists. All of these bitter feelings were directed at the Garett whom I could not and will never be able to speak to again... Chapter 105: Shackles Chapter 105: Shackles "...I hate you so much. If you were going to leave my heart in so much disarray, I wish you never stepped in my life to begin with," I said as I clenched my fists. All of these bitter feelings were directed at the Garett whom I could not and will never be able to speak to again. I wanted to kick and scream at that person, but it will nevere to fruition. This love that I could never abandon ended so abruptly with your death. I was suddenly grabbed by my shoulders and turned towards Garett. "...The person you loved and all of those people you had lost are all gone," Garett said. "How can you say such a cruel thing!" I said as I began iling. "Listen to me, Arielle! What I say next is going to be very cruel...That past or future and all of the people you ever knew in your past life are now gone. They are all as good as dead now," Garett said as he held me sturdily. Unlike Erik, Garett never sugarcoats his words. He almost always tells me the cold hard truth with harsh and prickly words. The only times he lies are when they are about his own feelings. That timeline had been utterly destroyed... I could never return to the days of my first life. All I could do now was quietly force myself to never forget and keep everyone clear in my memories by constantly recalling both the happy as well as the sad and bitter memories. "...My words or feelings will never reach the other you or the people I loved in my memories," I said grievingly. "All there is now is the present in which you had created. Stop living in the past and finally live in the future with the people whom you have chosen to surround yourself with. I am sure that even the people in your past life wanted you to be happy. They never would have wanted you to continue torturing yourself. I...I at the very least don''t want you to suffer anymore," Garett said. "The people I loved died. I could never forget about my memories with them. Neither could I want to forget you who I came to know either. Your words, your face, your touch...I could not get any one of them out of my mind. I worked so hard in trying to move on with my life with Erik as the other you said as I should have done but felt something nagging at me in the back of my mind. Everything felt wrong inside. I was being driven close to insanity from not being able to understand why I felt such a thing. I sought the memory enhancing drug in order to retrieve my lost memories and figure out the reason why. Even if it was dangerous, I wanted to find the answers to my troublesome feelings," I said. "...Do you remember everything now?" Garett asked. "Yes...I remember everything from the past to now, including the feelings I had for the past and current you. That is why I still feel conflicted even now. I am someone who has lived this life before. It was one where I was bounded by an engagement with Prince Erik and you were someone who supported it. Despite having feelings for me, you kept your unrequited love a secret from me by telling me you hated my existence. The other you told me that we were all bounded by our roles we were born into and to never deviate from it. That is why I epted my role and tried to be a good wife to Prince Erik. In the end, I failed and killed myself with my unborn child. I am an irresponsible mother and a reckless woman who could not protect either her first or second love and killed the only life I had growing inside of me. Even if this is my second life, I cannot just blindly seek your love after everything I have done," I confessed. "...I will ept anything and everything about you because I love you," Garett said. "You are being ridiculous...How can you love someone who married someone else, abandoned you, and left you to die in her ce!" I asked. "That was all from your past life! I do not know exactly all of what transpired then, but I got to know you well from this life. At first, you were quiet and always had a gloomy look on your face, but it turns out that you are talkative about the things you like and stubborn like a mule when ites to things you don''t like. In other words, you''re an extremely difficult woman!" Garett said with an irritated expression. "If I am so difficult, just love someone else," I said as I burst in tears. "If I could do that, I would have done it a long time ago! It always annoyed me how you would always upy my thoughts even when you are not in front of me. I hate how I try to keep up with the food trends because you like sweets, how I have to constantly lead you around obstacles in the road because I am afraid that you will trip, how I find myself researching tea that you might like during my spare time, and how I am willing to travel across towns to get you your favorite tea. Even if I close my eyes at night, I find myself dreaming about you...The other me who you first met and the me right now have the same taste in one woman. It is impossible for either of us to love anyone other than you...so please don''t break my heart...because I still love you," Garett said. "...The other you couldn''t be happy all because of me. I cannot simply forget about all of my mistakes that I have done to you," I said. "This is your second life. You made mistakes because you were alone, right? Then, just depend on me," Garett said as he hugged me. The other you from that lifetime created shackles on me with the word ''obligation'' on them. I did my best as terrible as I was to meet yours as well as other people''s expectations. Even then, I constantly made one mistake after the other. N?velDrama.Org is the owner. If I just ept your kindness, I would be ending my own punishment... I hate myself. I put on a strong front, but I am just the picture of disorder inside. "...I have to be alone. It is all my fault that you suffered in my first life. You don''t know just how miserably you were tortured before your death. I cannot forgive myself for not having been able to save you. The hopelessness and despair that I felt is iparable to anything else...When you say that you want to be with me, my heart wavers because I want to ept you even if it is wrong," I said. "I will be with you even long after you are able to forgive yourself," Garett said as he hugged me tighter. I pressed my face against his chest and wrapped my arms around his back. I should have never let you go off to die in my ce. I should have just held you just like this and ordered you to live together with me, but all of these are now just regretting from my first life... Chapter 106: Lover Nicknames Chapter 106: Lover Nicknames "It seems that you two made up," Charlotte said. I could see her peeking through the gap in the door along with Grace. I quickly pushed Garett away. "W-Were you two listening?" I asked in a fluster. How long have they been watching us? "We just got here and saw that you two were hugging. Wait to go, Romeo," Charlotte said as she pped Garett''s back. "Peeking is such a nasty hobby, Charlotte Castile. I also expected better of you as well, Grace Elsie," Garett said with an irritated expression. "My apologies in not being able to stop her from peeking," Grace said. "When will you stop referring us by our full names? I suppose that only Arielle is special?" Charlotte asked. "Of course, Arielle is special!" Garett shouted. I blushed when I heard Garett said something so sweet. "We are going to leave you some fruit before we go. Get better soon," Charlotte said as she left a basket of fruit on the table and left with Grace in tow. I am alone again with Garett. Garett showed me his fabulous knife skills and decided to make rabbits out of apple slices. "Since when were you such an artist?" I asked. "Just recently," Garett said as he stabbed an apple slice with a fork and ced it near my lips. I opened my mouth and took a bite. The sweetness enveloped my tastebuds and left a citric aftertaste. "Why rabbits?" I asked. "I thought you liked them since we went to that rabbit theme park before..." "Charlotte is the one who likes rabbits more. I actually prefer bears more...Are you going to practice making bear shaped food for me?" I asked. Garett''s eyebrows scrunched together along with his entire became a bright red color. "...Sorry for being such a simple man," Garett said. I let out a small chuckle. I soon heard a knock on the door. "Pleasee in," I said. It was Erik who walked in with a bouquet of peonies in his hands. He seemed to scoff at Garett for a moment. "What a simple man...I brought you your favorite flowers, Ari," Erik said as he handed me the bouquet. "Thank you for the flowers, Your Highness. They are lovely," I said as I took them from him. "I will go out to get water for the flowers," Garett said as he went outside with an empty vase. "He sure is confident if he thinks that I cannot steal you back," Erik said. "I do not think he has much to worry about," I said confidently. "...Did you tell him everything?" Erik asked. "Yes, and he epted everything...even the things I hated about myself," I said. "Half of your suffering is my fault. If only..." "Erik, I will be fine from now on," I said with a smile. "...Are you fine with being with a simple man like him?" Erik asked. "Yes...He cannot be reced by anyone else. Also, I happen to like simple gestures," I answered with a smile. "...I hope that you can be happy from now on, Ari," Erik said. "I hope for the same with you too, Erik," I said. "When you cannot stand his grumpy face anymore, my arms are always open," Erik said as he made his exit. Garett came back not long afterwards. "What did you two talk about?" Garett asked as he took the bouquet from me and ced them in the vase. "...He asked me if I was bored with you," I said. "Why would be ask that?" Garett asked. "He said that should I get bored with you, he would ept me with open arms," I answered. "...Are you bored with me yet?" Garett asked. I smiled brightly. "It would not hurt to be more interesting," I said teasingly. "What a burdensome task," Garett said as he sat beside me. "Now, how should I be more entertaining to you?" Huh? What a surprise to see Garett being at my mercy...he seems to be really afraid that I might leave him for Erik. "Why do you go so far for me every time?" I asked. "I love you. Is there any other reason I need to make you happy?" Garett asked bluntly. If he is going to be like this, I just might be a bad person... "Let me pet you for a bit," I suggested. "Pet? Am I an animal to you?" Garett asked. Maybe a grumpy cat... "Is that a no?" I asked. "...Do whatever you want," Garett said. Material ? of N?velDrama.Org. I took off his sses and began by patting his soft ck hair over his head and then lightly running my hands around his ears and chin. His eyes seemed to quiver a bit. I wanted to kiss his lips but went for the space between his eyebrows. "If you keep, scrunching them up, they will stay that way one day," I said teasingly. "I will try my best not to..." He still had a displeased expression on his face for some reason. "Are you angry about something?" I asked. "...You still seem close with that Prince. He called you Ari so familiarly," Garett said with a sulky face. I was once married to Erik, so the nickname was used quite often when we were together. "Then, please call me whatever you would like," I said. "....Then, I would like to call you Ira," Garett said after thinking long and hard about my nickname. Ira was my middle name that I had only told close friends and rtives, so it was not a name that was used often. People also asionally tell them to their lovers. Even though Erik knew my middle name, he preferred using the nickname Ari because he had used it since childhood. When I heard Garett say my middle name, it seemed as if flowers had bloomed in my heart. "...Please continue to call me by that name," I said with a smile. "Ira..." "Yes?" "Is there a name you would like to call me?" Garett asked. From his expression, I could tell that he really wanted to call him by a nickname... "Is there a particr nickname you have been called by?" I asked. "...Grumpy Cat?" Garett said with a deted expression. It suits him so well... I turned my head for a moment and let out augh in my hand before turning back and returning to my normal facade. "Can you tell me your middle name?" I asked. "It''s Kire," Garett answered. ...Was that an anagram of Erik''s name? "How about Dear? Darling?" I suggested. Garett seemed to keel over in embarrassment. This shy boy... "...Those are such embarrassing names," Garett said as he sat straight back up. "Those are the standard nicknames between lovers [ording to the Love Expert Charlotte]," I said excitedly. "The first one then," Garett said with an exasperated expression. "You are quite shameless," I said teasingly. "....You are turning into a second Charlotte Castile," Garett said as he scrunched his eyebrows. "Not ''you'', Ira," I said shamelessly. "Ira, you are turning shameless," Garett said. "Mr. Grumpy Cat," I said with a smile. "...You are never going to forget that nickname, are you?" Garett asked. "Never again," I replied. Chapter 107: Boundaries Chapter 107: Boundaries After a week, I was free to go wherever I wanted. The ce I had chosen was Garett''s home. I found it a little easier to assert myself with things I wanted after oveing my misery with Garett. That is why I can make ridiculous demands like this without batting an eysh. It is almost as if I had been free of a weight off of my chest that had been sitting there for so long. "I do not understand why you want toe here," Garett said as he met me outside of my carriage. "I have always been curious about where you have been raised," I said as I took his hand on the step down. I decided to wear a simple sage green dress with a white buttoned up cor, long sleeves, and white cuffs on the sleeves. I also tied my hair back partly with a white ribbon that matched my bow tie on my neck and around my waist. "It is nothing much," Garett said as he led me to his estate by the hand. When I entered the manor, I saw that there were many dark green ents like that of the carpet and housents throughout the manor. There was also floor to ceiling white curtains that seemed to elongate the light grey walls. "It is actually quite a ssy and minimalistic style. I can see a lot of your character in your home. If anything, I like it very much," I said. I am kind of d that I went with a green dress today. Maybe if I stand right next to a nt, I can blend into the scenery... "...You are always so blunt," Garett said with reddened ears. I felt his secondhand embarrassment and became a little flushed as well from how I realized that my words could be misconstrued as how Garett was very much my type. "...I am interested in seeing your Library," I said as I tried to change the topic. "If we pass this hall, we will get there," Garett said as he led the way. My eye suddenly caught a nce at a strange rope barrier that blocked the entrance of a different wing in the house. My feet stopped in ce. "...What is that rope for?" I asked. "It''s a divider...We should get going soon. The sunlight in the Library is the best around this time," Garett said as he grabbed my hand and lightly pulled me along. When it came to Garett''s personal Library, his collection far surpassed what I had envisioned as all of the high walls were covered with books and there were several rows of open bookcases. It was a dreame true Library for any fanatic book lover. "It''s beautiful in here. I especially like the dark oak shelves," I said excitedly. "You can have a look around if you want," Garett said with a kind smile. "I may tire myself out easily by trying to explore everything," I said. "There is a bedroom on the second floor meant for the purpose of resting. You can go there if you get tired," Garett said. A bed? Also, this Library contains only the two of us...Would it not be rather easy to have a tryst? I tried to shoo away the dirty thoughts. "...I would rather not," I said quietly. "Are you worried about the stairs? I can carry you up there if you get tired," Garett said. I could sense his sincere intentions, but could not get rid of the evil thoughts crowding my mind... "In a bit...Can you tell me why there is a divider in the house?" I asked. "The divider is for the servants who take care of separate wings in the house. Each wing has a different master. My mother takes care of all of the decoration and servants of that side. If you are curious, I have not been there, so I could not tell you what the other side looks like," Garett said. "...You have lived in this house your whole life but have not even been to the other side of your own house?" I asked. "It has been decided that way ever since I was brought here," Garett said. Now, I am beginning to understand why Garett ced so much emphasis on roles in my past life. There were just some things that you could not change with effort alone. I wonder just how long Garett had to look at that rope for and be told that he had no ce on the other side... "Does she still not know that you are actually her nephew?" I asked. "To her, I am just the Marquis'' bastard son. The true origin of my birth is a secret, so of course he could not even tell his own wife about me. I am only living out of the kindness of the Marquis and his wife," Garett said. "Banishing you to this side of the house is part of their kindness?" I asked. "I should have been killed the day I was born. However, it was the Marquis who decided to save me and raise me as his son despite knowing that my presence would hurt his wife. It is fine if she doesn''t know the truth. She is a pitiful woman who was forced to take care of another person''s child while believing in her husband''s infidelity. She did not necessarily abuse me or interfere with my life most of the time and provided me resources for my growth," Garett said. He still finds it in him to pity the woman who had ignored him all of his life and ced barriers around him. When she hit him in the Royal Castle, it was full of just aggression and not a touch of motherly love. N?velDrama.Org ? content. "...Are you saying that neglected was fine with you?" I asked. "At a young age, I had servants all around me to take care of my needs or had books to keep me upied. The person who I had known as my mother did not like seeing me. When I learned that my real mother was someone else. I understood why she never treated me like a son. We don''t have a single blood rtion or anything to connect us together after all," Garett said. "Is it much different from how your real mother treated you?" I asked. "...She regrets having given birth to me. It is a bit odd to have two mother and have each one considers me the bane of their existence," Garett said with a gloomy expression. I touched his cheeks with my hands and pulled his face towards me. I tapped his forehead with mine and closed my eyes. "...It must have been difficult," I said. "...Just a little...Why is it that I always find you crying these days? Have you be a faucet?" Garett said as he wiped my tears with his thumbs. "I am obviously a human," I said. "Only humans have such salty tears," Garett said as he kissed my eyes. Chapter 108: Permission Chapter 108: Permission A few dayster, I sent a letter to the House of Alvin and met up with Marquis Alvin and his wife. "What a surprise pleasant surprise to be acquainted with you, Lady Maddox. To what asion must I thank this visit for?" Marquis Alvin asked. "Yes, well I would like to be brief," I said. "I understand..." "I would like your son''s hand in marriage," I said. "Pardon?" Marquis Alvin said with a surprise expression. Suddenly, I saw Garett walk into the parlor. "Arielle, what are you doing here?" Garett asked. "I am asking for your hand in marriage," I said. "What?!" "I will send a formal request to your hometer, but I wanted to express my intentions with you two first. I would like your permission to marry your son," I said. "With your status, you are more suitable as Crown Princess. Are you sure that you would like to give that up and take Garett as your fianc¨¦, Lady Maddox?" Marquis Alvin asked. "Yes! To me, there is no one more charming than him," I said. "I would like to ept this engagement as well. There is no one I would want to spend my entire life with other than Arielle. Please ept our rtionship, Father...Mother," Garett said sincerely. "...Do whatever you want," Marquis Alvin''s wife said coldly. "I am not going to request anything much for engagement presents, but I would like the rope in the hall that separates the East and West Wings," I said with a smile. Marquis Alvin''s wife flinched slightly when I mentioned the rope, while Marquis Alvin continued to remain expressionless. With such wealth and resources, they could have easily just erected a wall in front of that entrance rather than leave a simple rope barrier where anyone could easily pass through and see. I could only imagine what Garett as a child must have felt when such bait wasid in front of him. A young child would have been curious to explore beyond what was given before him. Crossing that barrier would have given those people an excuse to abuse him if they wanted to. If such a thing did happen during his childhood, I doubt that Garett would tell me if it did or would me himself for being curious then. "Now, I hope to continue sharing good intentions with each other from now on," I said with a bright smile. As a Duke''s daughter, these people had to ept my request... One that was done, I had a servant remove the rope and put it in the carriage for me. I nned on burning it in a firece of my home as soon as possible. "You said what you wanted to say and left after doing what you wanted to do...You have splendidly learned how to be selfish," Garett said as he saw me out. "You will be marrying this selfish girl whether you like it or not," I said as I squeezed his hands. "...Of course, I like it," Garett said. "I hope that you will be able to consider me as your family one day," I said. "It better be sooner," Garett said as he hugged me tightly. "I agree," I said. I hugged him back without caring that the coachman would see me hugging Garett. When I came home, I told my parents the news of what I had just done. They seemed to all congratte me on my mutual love and engagement agreement with Garett. It seemed as though everyone could sense my unhappiness more so than I could, so when such happy news appeared, everyone was more than thrilled. At night, my mother entered my bedroom. "Are you sure about this engagement, Arielle?" Mother asked. I had her join me to sit on my bed together. "...Mother, is the reason why you did not continue pursuing His Majesty even though you loved him?" I asked. "Times were different then. His Majesty was third in line to the throne and also someone who did not have any greed for the throne. Unfortunately, the King and the First and Second Princes died from unexpected illnesses and then His Majesty ended up in the seat of the throne incidentally. Even if I wanted to support him, I had no political power, so I did what I thought was right and left him. The person who could give him what he needed agreed to support him on the condition that I left his life splendid adult, while I met someone who could fill in my broken heart and gave me a beautiful child," Mother said as she hugged me into her soft bosom. "...Garett is someone whose love I cannot give up," I said as Itched onto her. "When you were younger, I thought that the Prince would make a good partner for you since he swore that he would protect you forever. However, it seems that you have found someone else that you would rather be with...Congrattions on your engagement, Arielle. I wish you endless happiness," Mother said as she rubbed my head. "Thank you, Mother," I said as I squeezed her. A few dayster, our engagement was speedily set up with both sides of our parents'' N?velDrama.Org is the owner. permission. Chapter 109: Engagement Party Chapter 109: Engagement Party My engagement party with Garett was held at my estate. Even though I did not request any engagement gifts, my house had been flooded with dresses, jewelry and things that he thought that I might like. I had heard that Garett had chosen each present when thinking of me. It made me happy to know that he was trying to make me the happiest fianc¨¦e there was. For the party, I decided to wear a light blue gown with that matched my eyes. Rather than arge ball gown, the silhouette was a little slimmer and more showed off my shoulders and corbone. The short off the shoulder chiffon sleeves and sparkle beading gave my dress an ethereal look. "Sir Alvin certainly has good taste," Ste said as she helped set my hair with a beautiful hydrangea hairpiece and pulled part of my hair back into a half updo. "I hope he thinks I look pretty in the clothes he chose for me," I said quietly. "My daughter is the most beautiful person in the world, so of course my son-inw would find you beautiful as well," Mother said with her usual serious expression. "He is not your son-inw yet," I said with a chuckle. I soon heard a knock on the door. "Sir Alvin is here," a maid said. I quickly went to greet him. "Garett! You came early," I said as I toddled towards him. "Were you in the middle of dressing up?" Garett asked as he touched my neck. I flinched slightly on reflex. "We were just deciding on what jewelry to put on Lady Arielle. Would you like to choose, Sir Alvin?" Ste asked as she had shown the jewelry sets that Garett had given to me. Garett chose a chandelier ne with five teardrop shaped diamond dangling pendants and matching earrings. Garett decided to hook the ne on me by wrapping his arms around my neck. I was a bit startled from having such close encounter so soon, so my heart was left without preparation and began to beat frantically. "You will certainly be the most eye catching out there," Garett said as he took a step back to examine me from head to toe. "Thank you," I said shyly. He was more handsome than usual with his suit and vest. Part of his hair on the side of his head had been slicked back with wax. The most surprising factor was that he was not wearing sses for today. "It seems that your blush is a bit much for today...Your face it really red," Garett said as he touched my cheek with his hands. "It is definitely not the makeup," Mother said. "Mother! You should definitely go greet guests with Father right about now," I said as I tried pushing her out of the room. "Take good care of her," Mother said to Garett before making her exit. "Can I ask what happened to your sses?" I asked. "I don''t really need them to see," Garett said as he dug in his coat pocket and took out hisrge and unfashionable sses. "...I would prefer it if you looked a bit uglier," I said. "Are you picking a fight?" Garett asked. "If you are too handsome, you are going to attract the eyes of everyone in the room," I said with a sulky tone. "Would you rather be known as the woman who settled for a in man?" Garett asked with a sigh. "...Isn''t it enough that only I know how handsome you actually are?" I asked. "Are you out of your mind? Of course, it isn''t...Do you know how tough it was fighting off suitors who wanted your hand during our Academy days together? The men and women all thought they had a chance with you once they heard that you were with someone in looking as me," Garett exined. "Men and women?" I asked. "Having a in experience was fine for not attracting much attention, but when ites to being around you, my usual appearance is actually a disadvantage when dealing with people with overconfidence in their own looks," Garett exined. "Is that why you appeared dressed up more than usual?" I asked as I sped his face in my hands. "...That is one reason. The other is that I do not want a rumor saying that your eyes have bad taste in men," Garett said with a soft gaze as he held his hands over mine. "What a considerate fianc¨¦," I said with a smile. "...Shall we get going now?" Garett asked as he held out his hand. "Yes," I said as held his hand. We soon left the parlor together and entered the engagement party hand in hand and shared our first dance together. Afterwards, we began greeting people and receiving congrattions from various people. I noticed that some people had taken notice that Garett''s looks greatly resembled that of Prince Erik, but obviously their looks and presence were very different from one another. Even if it was not known very well, Garett was considered as Prince Erik''s cousin, so it only made sense that they looked simr to each other if they were cousins. As if anyone would darement on Garett''s looks. If a nasty rumor urred, my wrath would not simply end with just an apology... "Congrattions on your engagement," Charlotte said. "Congrattions of your engagement from me as well," Grace said. "Char! Grace! I am so d that both of you came," I said as I grabbed their hands and began shaking them at the same time. "You look so divine today," Grace said. "Thank you for yourments, Grace," I said happily. "...This dress is not something you would have chosen for yourself, is it?" Charlotte asked as she closely examined my dress. "...No, it is not a style I would reach out for," I said. "I see...Then, it must be Garett who had chosen this dress for you," Charlotte guessed. "What makes you say that?" I asked. "Come on, look at those tightly hugging curves, that beautifully exposed corbone, and those exposed dainty looking shoulders of yours with off the shoulder and see-through sleeves. There is not left to imagine about your perfect figure. On top of that, the back of the dress seems easy to undo," Charlotte said as she tucked her chin into the nook of her thumb and index finger. I became flustered from Charlotte''s examinations of my dress. "That is a ridiculous conjecture," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest over the embarrassment that Charlotte had examined me quite thoroughly with her eyes. "I agree...I need to greet guests on the other side of the room," Garett said as he quickly fled the scene. "The main perpetrator is getting away without admitting to his crimes!" Charlotte said dramatically. Grace and I shared a shortugh together. The next song had begun ying. Charlotte and Grace have been invited to dance with their respective partners, while I had been N?velDrama.Org is the owner. incidentally crowded with many hands asking me to dance with them. "May I have this dance?" Prince Erik asked. Chapter 110: Return of Pillar Chapter 110: Return of Pir "May I have this dance?" Prince Erik asked as he held out his hand. I sent him an invite but had no expectations that he would show up. Maybe showing up was for a formality... "Yes, you may," I said as I took his hand. Prince Erik led me to the dance floor and began properly leading me through the song. I was a bit surprised when I found my body already in position and moving. My body seemed to react before I could properly collect my thoughts. "You look exceedingly beautiful today," Prince Erik said. "Thank you, Your Highness," I said. "I assume that it is because of him, yes?" Prince Erik asked. I blushed. "...Please don''t ask such a thing," I begged. The song quickly ended before I was able to sort myplex feelings out. We separated our hands shortly afterwards. "Congrattions on your engagement, Arielle," Prince Erik said with a smile. For whatever reason, I expected him to hate me because I got engaged to someone else, but I could feel that that he was truly sincere when he said that. I wonder how much it took for him to ept the news of his former wife getting engaged to someone else? I hope that he can find someone who loved him as much as I once did... "Thank you, Your Highness," I said as I shed tears of happiness. I excused myself to fix up my makeup. Upon leaving, a man had bumped into me. I suddenly heard a cog running in my head...Right, that sound was simr to that of the wheels of fate turning. It was my first time seeing him since I was reborn into this second life, but that person was undoubtedly the reason behind my trauma. I had almost forgotten about him until I saw his face again. I recognized his golden almost hazel hair and deep orange eyes as if I had just seen them yesterday. It was Marquis N?velDrama.Org is the owner. Pir''s first son Nevel Pir who had taken part in my kidnapping and the main culprit behind Garett''s death. "You hurt my arm," he said as he grabbed my arm. "How will you repay me?" I saw him give me a disgusting smile while he leered at my body. He had been away from the capital and stationed at the borders between Arundel and The Balik Empire. I never expected to find him back in the capital much less at my engagement party since he was not on the list of invitees. That means that someone invited him in with their invitation letter. "...You are right. My apologies for hurting you. Allow me to make it up to you somewhere more private. Let''s go somewhere we cannot be easily heard by others," I said as I walked in front of him. "I like a proactive Lady like yourself," Nevel Pir said with an amused expression. I am sure that he had some unsavory thoughts about what he wanted to do with me after getting me alone. After giving me Hell for two lifetimes, God finally delivered me the prey I had been looking for right before my eyes. Since he was the son of a War Hero and was stationed far from the capital, I could not have many chances to meet him. All I could think about was how I wanted to kill this man as soon as possible... My hands were already itching to pull out his hair and wring his neck until he was left limp as a corpse. I tried to keep my cool until I could lead him far away from the party and close to my weapon room. There, I could take my time picking of my choosing that would be the best at taking care of his measly life with the most ease and take the least cleanup. "You sure are taking me quite far from the party. Are you worried about being too loud? There are ways to cover up sound such as covering these lips with mine," Nevel Pir said as he pulled me close and pulled my chin towards him. "Now, that would be no fun," I said as I lightly smacked his hand away. "Just continue following me a little further..." It worked in my favor that he found my appearance pleasing. If I yed it coyly, he would be sure to follow me like the mangy lustful beast he was. Unlike his father, he was a disrespectful womanizer who only thought about bedding women he took a liking to. Killing you a second time would add no guilt to my consciousness... "Nevel! There you are!" a woman with a bright yellow dress said as she came out of nowhere and "Sherry!" What an annoying pest! Should I kill both of them? "I am tired of doing my greetings. Let''s go back to my ce," the woman said with an unabashed expression. This woman is innocent...I should not think about taking the life of someone on a whim. "...It seems as though the young Lord already has a partner. Please excuse me," I said. "Wait! My Lady!" Nevel Pir said as he reached out to me. I had already made my way out of the scene and tried to contain my feelings of anger and hatred deep inside of my heart. "Arielle! There you are," Garett said as he found me sitting by the fountain. "Garett?" I said in surprise. "Are you alright? You did note back after a while," Garett said. "I''m sorry...I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a while," I said. "...Are you having second thoughts about our engagement?" Garett asked. "No! I certainly want to marry you and be your wife, but I just have these unpleasant thoughts that keep on creeping up in my mind. If you knew what I thought of, surely your image of me would be broken," I said. "...It has already been long broken if I should say," Garett said bluntly. "Pardon?" "When I first met you, you were shining as if you were a polished gem. You were different from all of the girls I had ever known before who were inly brutish tomboys. When I got to know you, you were more expressive and talkative when it came to things that you liked. You are also quite fickle and stubborn and cry quite easily, but everything about you is charming in my eyes. A fool like me won''t abandon you simply because you have one or two thoughts you consider ugly. Rather, I am more worried that you would leave me since the number of my faults outweigh yours," Garett said with a smile as he held my hands. He is always reassuring me by telling me that he loves me. I wish that I could be as honest as he was about his feelings for me. I brought my arms around his neck and hugged him. "...I promise to protect you from here on out to eternity," I swore. "...I promise too," Garett said as he wrapped his arms around my waist. We soon made our way back to the party while tightly holding our hands with each other. I promise to protect this hand...even if I have to be a Demon. Chapter 111: Fools P.1 Chapter 111: Fools P.1 [Past Life] After Garett had died, I had locked myself in my room for three days without eating or drinking anything. The memory of cradling Garett''s decapitated head in my arms was still fresh in my mind. All I could do wasy in bed with my thoughts after crying too much. I could finally pull myself together after some time and decided to venture out of my room. "Your Majesty! You have finally decided toe out of your room!" Ste said as she grabbed my hands. "...I''m sorry for everything, Ste," I said. "Think nothing of it...It is having been a pleasure to serve you since you were little," Ste said. Ste had taken care of me ever since I was young. I who had lost my mother when I was at a very young age did notck a motherly figure since Ste had always been by my side. She continued to support me even after I ascended to the being a Queen. "...I am a bit famished," I said with a forced smile. "I will bring you something light and easy to eat right away!" Ste said as she quickly ran off. She soon came back with a tray of warm soup and bread. After taking my first bite, I suddenly began crying. "Oh, dear! Is there something wrong with the food?" Ste asked with a frantic expression. "No, there is nothing wrong with the food," I said as I began wiping my tears with my hands. "It is just that...the food is so warmpared to what I felt before. I''m sorry...I told myself that I should not cry anymore." Ste hugged me and brought me into her arms. "No, it is understandable after experiencing the loss of an important friend," Ste said as she caressed my head gently. Right...Garett was just an important friend to me, but he was also a close rtive to Erik. When I thought about how Erik must have felt after deciding to let Garett die rather than release our country''s secrets, I self-loathed myself even more for locking myself up and not speaking to anyone. Erik must have been in more pain and felt more alone than I did, but even I ignored his pain and decided to mourn all by myself. "Ste, where is Erik...I mean His Majesty? I wish to meet with him and apologize to his face," I said. Erik is my husband now; I should put all of his needs above everything... "I will find out right away, Your Majesty!" Ste said as she scurried off. When she came back, she had a troubled expression on her face. "...You are back early," I said. "...His Majesty is currently interrogating the main perpetrator behind Your Majesty''s attempted kidnapping," Ste said. That man is here... "Ste, I would like something warm to drink after my meal," I said. "Right away!" Ste said as she left. I quickly snuck out of my room and went on my way to the dungeon where I knew Erik often held interrogations. There he was...Nevel Pir was hanging from a wooden cross. "Oh? It is the Queen herself...To what honor do I owe for the reason for this visit?" Nevel Pir asked. "...For what reason did you kidnap me for?" I asked. "The Emperor of The Balik Empire wanted you as his wife and offered me money and power for just bringing you across the border. The Empire could use you in exchange for military grade secrets," Nevel Pir said. "For such a thing, you were willing to betray your home country!" I shouted at him. "Like I care about this country! All I care about is filling my pockets with money and having an endless supply of women," Nevel Pir said. "...You are a sickening person. I am done talking to you," I said as I turned to leave. "...Do you not want to hear it?" Nevel Pir asked. "Hear what?" I asked. "Garett''sst words," Nevel Pir said with a smirk. I turned around. "...Just so you know, I cannot set you free. There are guards everywhere. You would just be giving them an excuse to kill you if you were to run free," I said. "My father is a pretty important figure, so it won''t be long until hees here and frees me, but you will never get to hear Garett''sst words if you let this chance go," Nevel Pir said. "...What do you want?" I asked. N?velDrama.Org ? content. "Show me your breasts," Nevel Pir said shamelessly. "Pardon?" "I am most likely one of the few only witnesses to his death...I am also a trained soldier, so you would not be able to get me to talk easily even if you tried torturing me. I am being kind and asking one little favor. Rather than asking you to free me or provide me with better cell conditions, all I want to do is gaze upon the body of the beautiful Queen of the nation. It is something that only you can do," Nevel Pir said. It is just showing some skin that I have shown to at least to over thirty Maids before... My hands were a bit shaky when I began undoing the ribbon over my nightgown. When it was undone, I slowly slid the sleeves of my nightgown down my shoulders. "I can''t see anything if you cover them with your arms," Nevel Pir said. What a vulgar man... I slowly uncovered myself and revealed myself to him. "...Such milky white skin and a pink color that matches your hair...My Queen certainly deserves the title of being the most beautiful woman in Arundel," Nevel Pir said. "Just tell me what hisst words were!" I ordered as I covered myself up. Nevel Pir soon broke out in an outburst ofughter. "To think you would go so far as to expose yourself just to find out a dead man''s words...the rumors were true! It''s a pity that the Queen of Arundel is such a shameful wench!" Nevel Pir said. More than feeling humility over having my body seen by this man, I was more angry over the fact that he used Garett''sst words over me. "You never even heard of Garett''sst words! You probably weren''t even there when he died!" I shouted at him. "No, I was definitely there. I can tell you with confidence because I know exactly the torture that was inflicted on him, how many people there were, and how long he suffered until he inevitably died. Only you, the coroner, and I know about Garett''s missing tongue...I think that is indefinite proof that I was there in hisst moments," Nevel Pir said. "You are a bastard!" I screamed as I grabbed him by his cor. "If you want to hear everything, bring your sweet little ears near my lips," Nevel Pir said. "What are you nning?" I asked. "What could I do with hands chained to a stake like this?" Nevel Pir asked. I brought my face close to his. He leaned over and took a deep sniff of my hair and neck. "You smell just like roses as I had imagined." "You disgusting..." "Since My Queen has been so generous to me, I shall tell you Garett''sst words," Nevel Pir whispered in my ears. "He said that he was ''sorry for everything and that he wanted you to take care of yourself''." "...He said such a thing?" I asked as I loosened my grip over his cor. I soon felt something wet and slimy run across my ears and jumped back. Nevel Pir beganughing again. "You are so naive, My Queen! Of course, he did not say that. When he was captured, he was tortured and beaten for several hours about the kingdom''s secrets. He never budged one bit even after having all of his fingers broken. He was such a dull hostage. The only reaction we got from him was when we asked if he knew any of your weaknesses. He said that he would rather have his tongue cut off than say anything about you," Nevel Pir said. "Did you..." "Since he was going to go that far, I thought that I might as well help him keep his code of silence and cut off his tongue for him! He ended up dying from blood loss not too long afterwards. In the end, he did not say anything!" Nevel Pir said with a smug look on his face. I thought that I heard a rope snapping in the distance. I quickly realized that sound was my own sanity snapping... I calmly walked over to the supply room where the interrogation tools were being kept and rolled them in with a metal cart. "I have grown tired of your smug face," I said as I grabbed a long nail and a hammer from the table. I ced the nail in the center of his palms right between the metacarpals and pulled my other hand with a hammer back. "What are you doing!" Nevel Pir screamed. "...What I should have done sooner," I said coldly as I hammered the nail through his hand. Thwack! "My father will not let you do this to me!" Nevel Pir shouted. "...You seem to forget that you are not a War Hero''s son but just my prisoner," I said coldly. After cutting off a few fingers, I noticed that Nevel Pir was not as resistant to pain as he had first bluffed. His confidence fell quite soon after I first cut off his pinky. The pain and shock of losing his fingers one by one made him apologize to me repeatedly. "You are apologizing to the wrong person," I said as I cupped Nevel Pir''s cheek and moved it slowly to his ear. "Although...it did feel gross when you licked my ear earlier." I then took a strong hold of his ear and ripped it off with a little of my strength. "I''m sorry...I''m sorry...What will it take for you to forgive me?" Nevel Pir asked. I am tired of hearing his voice now... "Nothing...Forgiveness is not for people like you," I said as I pulled his tongue out with some pliers and grabbed a sharp knife. Chapter 112: Fools P.2 Chapter 112: Fools P.2 [Past Life] I wore a ck dress that covered both my arms and neck and wore a shortted veil over my head. It was a heart-breaking funeral... No one could keep theirposure when they knew that the coffin could only show the faces surrounded by flowers on the deceased. The men who would otherwise try to act indifferent in situations like these broke down and cried alongside their spouses. My tears were already long dried up from the countless nights of crying, so when it came to the funeral procession to the fallen soldiers, I handled most of the speech and handing out Awards of Valor to the coffins. Long after thest person left, I stayed behind and sat beside Garett''s coffin and rested my head and ear on it. "...Arielle, you should not be here anymore," Erik said as he pat my back. "Thank you for making the coffins full sized even though the rest of the bodies are missing," I said to Erik. "As you requested, I also added sand for the weight. They will be carried off to be buried tomorrow," Erik said as he sat beside me and brought me into his embrace. "I am not telling you to not mourn but just saying that it is better that you do not stay here any longer. Garett would have wanted this for you too." I wrapped my arms around Erik and hugged him tightly. "I''m sorry for leaving you alone," I said. "Arielle, I am fine because I have you," Erik said as he pat my head. "Your kindness has often saved me multiple times. That is why I hope that you will return to your old self soon." The old me who just smiled when necessary, relied on other people''s help all of the time, and believed in the kindness of others? Is returning to that ignorant me of that time really the right thing I should do? Right...there is no right answer because everything is toote once you die. I found myself sitting on my throne in a simple strapless slim fitted red dress with a white fur sash and a red rose ornament in my hair bun. It was a style that I did not go for often because it was out of my "...You havee, Marquis Pir," I said. "I would like to retrieve my son as soon as possible," Marquis Pir said as he kneeled before me. "...Marquis Pir, do not talk to me as if I am a servant. I am the Queen and Mother of this nation, so address me as such," I said coldly. "M-My apologies, Your Majesty. I would like to see me son as soon as possible. He has been away from home for too long," Marquis Pir said. "You are right...I should return him to you as soon as possible," I said as I snapped my fingers. My Guards soon brought out a small box and ced it on the ground in front of him. "What is this, Your Majesty?" Marquis Pir asked. "Oh, ''that''? That is obviously your son," I said. Marquis Pir soon opened the box to find his son''s decapitated head. "...W-Where is the rest of him?" Marquis Pir''s asked as he lifted the entire box with his son''s head inside. "You do not need dismembered body parts to identify your son, right?" I asked as I got up from my chair and walked towards him. "What crime did hemit!" Marquis Pir''s asked. "High Treason...He confessed to betraying our country by selling out confidential military information and assassinating the King''s cousin. As you know, such actions warrant immediate execution without trial," I said coldly. "Nevel sold out his own country and murdered a rtive of the Royal Family?" Marquis Pir asked in disbelief. "That is right," I said as I kneeled down in front of him. "The information has been limited lest we alert the neighboring countries about our kingdom''s current state. Your son was caught red handed in the act and even confessed to harming the King''s rtive and even killing him. Now, you must know what will happen to your family because of your son''s mistakes..." "Please have mercy!" Marquis Pir said as he lowered his head to the ground in front of me. "ording to Imperial Law, every single person in your family must be killed," I said. "...Please let me atone for it with just my life! Please have mercy, Your Majesty!" Marquis Pir begged as he sobbed pitifully. "I shall grant you one a shred of mercy and take your life," I said. "Your Majesty! Thank you..." "...and the rest of the males in your bloodline," I said cruelly. "Your Majesty, my daughter just recently gave birth to a child. I ask that you please spare him," Marquis Pir begged. "I suppose that death is a bit too kind. Then, I will have all of the males in your family lose a kneecap, including your grandson, but you still have to die as the head of your family," I said as I cupped his cheek. "...Thank you, Your Majesty," Marquis Pir said right before he was dragged away. Upon leaving the throne room, I ran into Erik who had been waiting outside and decided to move around him. "Arielle, is this the type of revenge you wanted to seek!" Erik asked. "...I had been naive but no longer," I said as I continued walking away from him. I began purging the kingdom of corrupt Nobles in a relentless investigation behind the flow of money and where the people''s taxes were going. It seemed that this country had a deeper dark side than I thought... A weekster, Charlotte came to the Castle to visit me. In all honesty, I did not want to see her while I was in being cruel. I hated the me right now...I did not want her to see me in such a deplorable state of mind. "I came to see you, Arielle," Charlotte said with a bright smile on her face. "...What did youe here for?" I asked. "Many things have been changingtely...I just wonder how you have been doing," Charlotte said with a quiet voice. "I am surprised that you even want to see me. Surely you must have heard the rumors about me "I have...You should have killed every single person including the women of Marquis Pir''s family, but that is not your style. You are still just as kind as before, Arielle," Charlotte said confidently. "...Sometimes I want to look at myself through your eyes. You are always putting me up in a good light," I said. "That is because I love you, Arielle," Charlotte said with a bright smile. "...Charlotte, many things will change from now on. I am thinking of enforcing more regtions on the Nobles and reframing the infrastructure, so I am asking that you leave the capital for a while," I said. "...Are you saying that it is unsafe for me here?" Charlotte asked. "There are only a few people left who can make my heart waver, so all I ask is that you live carefree," I said as I kneeled beside her and held her hands. "Just give me awhile before I can change this country..." "I understand...Please be well," Charlotte said as she kissed my forehead. I soon sent Charlotte on her way back to her home with her husband. Shortly after she left, Ste came running to my office. "Lady Charlotte has been injured!" Ste shouted. I dropped my pen when I heard the news. Charlotte? I ran with all of my might to find where Charlotte was being treated and fell to my knees when I saw her bed covered in blood. Charlotte had cuts on her arms and legs. Since she was found quickly, she received quick treatment. A witness had informed me that a wheel had broken off of the carriage and had caused the carriage to roll over. "I am fine, so please don''t look so sad, Arielle," Charlotte said after she woke up several hourster after her operation. "...It is all my fault for sending you back in my personal carriage. I have not had time to check with the maintenance either," I said. "idents happen...Moreover, I was the one who wanted to see you to tell you that I had be pregnant. I was a bit shy to admit it earlier, but I am d that I finally got the courage to tell you now," N?velDrama.Org ? content. Charlotte said with a smile. "Congrattions on getting pregnant," I said as I grabbed her hands. I left a little after I saw that Charlotte had taken medicine and had fallen asleep. The Doctors told me that she and her baby would be fine after a little rest. Even if there was a lot of blood, it seemed to only be a few superficial cuts. "...Give me my money. I reced the wheel on the carriage with a broken one," a man said to another man in secret. "Good job. Themotion was enough to create a distraction so that we could hand off keys to the Marquis," the other man said as he handed the other man a sack of cash. Ah...this kingdom really is rotten to its core. I sat waiting in the foyer of Marquis Pir''s home. As expected, he had escaped from prison toe retrieve his wife and children. "Your Majesty! What are you doing here?" Marquis Pir asked. "...I should be the one asking that. For escaping from execution, I have decided to change my mind and decree the original punishment of death to your entire bloodline," I said as I snapped my fingers and had my Guards put Marquis Pir in front of me. "Please have mercy, Your Majesty!" Marquis Pir begged. Mercy is for fools... "I am granting you mercy...You will be able to join the rest of your family after this," I said as I raised my sword and quickly sliced through his neck. "What..." Marquis Pir''s head slid off mid-sentence. From that moment onwards, I truly became a tyrant... Chapter 113: Groundwork Chapter 113: Groundwork After the engagement party, I went to my office to think about some things. "Ste, bring me the invitee list from the party today," I ordered. "Here is the list," Ste said as she speedily handed me the documents. When I looked up the name Sherry, her name did not show up but the name Sharon Wilburn did. She had brought in an uninvited guest to a private engagement party under her father Baron Wilburn''s name. Her father was allowed two guests of his choosing, one of whom was his wife and the other being his daughter. Even if it was a festive asion, it was still disrespectful to bring another guest without informing the hosts especially if they were of a higher rank than them. "Sharon Wilburn will be ostracized from all public social events," I ordered. "Is there a reason why?" Ste asked. "She let in a dubious person not on the invitee list who came and disrespected me," I said coldly. "...This person who disrespected My Lady?" Ste asked. "Nevel Pir...had courted me at my own engagement ceremony and asked that I entertain him alone. Please make Sharon Wilburn and other women who get close with him an example of what happens when people disrespect me," I told Ste. "Understood, My Lady," Ste said as she bowed her head and left. Being excluded from the social circles is almost equivalent to death... Once she cuts off all ties with Nevel Pir, I will consider letting her return, but she will now be an example of what happens to women who get close to Nevel Pir. Cutting off his supply in women will also help those women intoing to their senses that Nevel Pir is just a worthless man. The only person worth mentioning is his father for his many years of service on the frontline, but he had tossed away his title of an honorable man to let such an unhinged man go by his watch. I walked over to my coffee table that had the unfinished chessboard game between me and Garett from earlier. I then flicked the opposing king piece down with my queen piece. My ns might have been foiled this time, but I will definitely kill that man when the chance arises again... A weekter, Baron Wilburn and his daughter Sharon Wilburn came by my home to beg for my Content bel0ngs to N?vel(D)r/a/ma.Org. forgiveness. "My apologies for the disservice my family has done to you, Lady Arielle," Baron Wilburn said as he lowered his head towards me. "I also beg for your forgiveness, Lady Arielle," Sharon Wilburn said. I scoffed at the two lowering their heads to me. "...Now what is it that you two are apologizing to me for?" I asked. "Pardon?" Baron Wilburn said with a confused expression. "Really now...What kind of people say sorry without knowing what they did wrong?" I asked as I leaned back and sent a domineering gaze towards them. "If you are apologizing on reflex, then please do not waste my time and go away." "Sharon!" Baron Wilburn screamed at his daughter. "Apologize for all of your wrongdoings to Lady Arielle." "...Stop using my first name, both of you. It is Lady Maddox," I said coldly. "...Please enlighten me, Lady Maddox, for I am ignorant of my wrongdoings," Sharon Wilburn pleaded. "How can you be absolved of your crimes if you do not remember them yourself? You should be able to remember them if you recall the events of my engagement party," I said with a smile. "...Th-The engagement party? F-Forgive me for bringing in an uninvited guest to your party. I had no idea that it was to celebrate your engagement, Lady Maddox," Sharon Wilburn said nervously. "Just because you did not know that it was my engagement party made it alright to bring a stranger into a private party held in Duke Maddox''s name? On top of that, your guest caused troubles for me by trying to court me at my own engagement party," I said. "Sharon! You let in such a disgraceful man into a party held by the Duke!" Baron Wilburn yelled at his daughter. "I deeply apologize for my guest''s actions, Lady Maddox. I was not aware that he would dare try such a thing," Sharon Wilburn said. "Lady Wilburn, I am not trying to reprimand you...I told people to cut you off from society to help take off the heat of the bad rumors surrounding you and Nevel Pir," I said as I cupped her cheek with my hand. "...Thank you for your kindness, Lady Maddox," Sharon Wilburn said shakily. "I would also like you to help me and other women who may be hurt by that no-good man''s yboy antics," I said. "O-Of course...Women should stick together," Sharon Wilburn said with a forced smile. "Let''s continue to have a good rtionship from now on," I whispered in her ears. I sent her and her father out shortly afterwards. It was not until shortly afterwards that I heard rumors of Nevel Pir''s yboy antics and the women frequenting him quickly dwindled. The only women he could get were low ss prostitutes he paid money for at brothels he frequented. I was more overjoyed at the fact that he could not make social connections with Upper ss Nobles. The only way to possibly redeem himself now is through making himself known at the annual hunting Iughed quietly to myself when I realized how easy it was to get people toy the groundwork for me. I should sharpen my hunting tools and practice my aim well before the annual huntingpetition. "idents often happen on the hunting grounds...I hope that you will forgive me if I mistake you for a