Chapter 25: My Mother


    [First Life]


    My mother was a strict person. She was a thoroughly trained Noble and the epitome of the perfect


    Noblewoman. I could hardly recall a moment of herpassion, until she was on her deathbed.


    "...Arielle, I have not been a good mother to you," Mother said.


    She had been struck by an incurable illness at the time and was made to be bedridden for what would


    be the rest of her life. The bed that she had slept in also inevitably became her coffin.


    "Please, Mother has been nothing but good to me."


    She touched my cheek with her frail hands.


    "That is not true. I know you very well, Arielle. My dear Arielle...I had thought that giving you some


    tough love would give you room to grow. You did grow...at what cost?"


    Belongs ? to N?velDrama.Org.


    It was the first time I had ever heard of her speak to me so much before.


    "Mother?"


    "When I was young, I was often harassed by other women because of jealousy. It drove me to try to


    take my life at one time. On my second attempt, I found that I was pregnant with you. I was filled with


    unimaginable joy that even I could be a mother. When I first held you, you were the size of my


    forearm and your eyes were filled with life and wonder. I felt the need to protect you. I rejected your


    love and forced you to be a person suited to the name Maddox so that you would never lose to


    anyone. You eventually exceeded my expectations and became a wonderful youngdy."


    My heart felt like filling up with warmth. I never thought that Mother thought so much of me.


    "I was hardly a mother to you more than a mentor."


    "That is not true..."


    "Is it really? I do not even remember when thest time was you smiled at me," she said as she turned


    her head away.


    "...You never pped my hand away."


    She turned around towards me.


    "I never did what?"


    "When I was three, there was a time that I was curious about how your hand felt. I grabbed it one day


    and you never shook me off until I released my grip from you."


    "...I cannot believe you remember such things. You were so young," she said as she began crying.


    For the first time in my life, I shed my first tears. I held her frail hand tightly towards my face.


    "Mother, please do not leave me..."


    "What am I going to do with you? It seems that you are still a child," she said with a mncholic smile.


    I spent my time leisurely with Mother. We talked about many things from simple stuff to even politics.


    I always thought Mother was a woman of few words. It turns out that she has always been a shy and


    lovely person who actually loves to talk. She even told me about how my busy father was too shy to


    visit her while she was talking with me and would alwayse after we had our talks to hand her


    flowers every day.


    When my own mother asked me how my love life was going with Erik, I had remembered that I had


    forgotten to write Erik a letter in a long time. Mother had ordered me to write a letter to Erik as soon as


    possible. I could have refused her at that moment because I saw that her health had turned for the


    worse every day, but she urged me to write to Erik that day.


    I had finished my letter and quickly made my way back to her room. On the way there, I saw many


    Doctors and rtives rushing to Mother''s room. It was probably then that I had realized that they were


    noting over for just any simple visit.


    I had dropped my letter when I saw my Father grasping Mother''s hand with the most saddened


    expression I had ever seen before.


    "Arielle..."


    I was sitting over Mother''s grave long after the funeral when Erik had called out to me.


    "It is strange how she looked like she was sleeping. Her face was just so peaceful, almost as if she was


    about to wake up at any moment...I am sorry. This is probably not what you wanted to hear or see."


    "We can talk about whatever you want today," Erik said.


    "I do not even know what there is to talk about. My mother has just passed away. There is a void in my


    heart, yet I am unable to shed a tear. Maybe I did not love her as much as I thought I did..."


    "Lady Maddox was the epitome of a perfectdy. She may have told you to not fall below that bar or


    that showing tears is a sign of weakness, but you are different from her. You do not have to be perfect


    all the time. It is fine to cry no matter how ugly it makes you look whenever you are sad or when you


    are happy."


    "I will not cry...at least today. She hated tears after all."


    Erik sat beside me in silence for hours that day.


    If he was not there with me that day, I probably would have cried myself for a long time...