Chapter 90


    Anna''s POV


    Most times, I think wrong. I am thinking my thoughts are wrong today also until I see the next thing


    Tony did, after hugging me.


    He asked me toe to his house and I was thinking he wanted to introduce me to his parents again,


    after waving off the thoughts of him proposing marriage to me.


    I was trying to think of a genuine reason why he would invite me to his home. He sent me the address


    instead ofing to pick me up.


    I can''t believe Tony is kneeling. I am dumbfounded. I can''t blink, breathe, or think of anything.


    I know what is happening but I ask myself if I am ready for this. If I am ready, how do I deal with the


    secret eating me up? How do I deal with being married to another man and being proposed to by


    another?


    How do I deal with exining things to him and telling him I never had an abortion like I made him


    believe. If he knows about all of this, will he still be kneeling in front of me and pulling out a box?


    "Anna?" He calls and I finally blink. He opens the box and I swallow the gasp that almost came out of


    me.


    "Will you please marry me?" He finally asks. My mouth is agape as I watch his face, still trying to figure


    out what his reaction will be when he gets to know that the Anna he was wooing a year ago is different


    from the one standing before him.


    This Anna here is married with a child. That Anna was single and heartbroken.


    When Cameron broke my heart, I thought I had lost it all. I thought he was the kindest man I ever met


    in my entire life until he began to change. I never knew other men will find me attractive apart from


    Cameron.


    My world revolved around Cameron and when he broke free and left my world, I thought I was going to


    remain single forever, I thought my dream of a happily ever after will be far-fetched. But here I am in


    between two worlds ofmitment and responsibility. I do not know what to do anymore or what I


    want.


    I thought I wanted Tony but right now, I am no longer sure if I want forever with him because I feel it is


    too soon. We barely know each other. I don''t know any of his family members and he is rushing our


    rtionship even after promising to take things slow.


    "Anna?" He stands up when I am not saying a word. He looks flush and I realize my mouth is still open.


    He must think I am too awed to reply, he smiles at me.


    "I know this is sudden but I feel there is nothing more to wait for since we both love each other. I am


    madly in love with you, Anna", He touches my shoulder, making me lean forward. "And I know you love


    me too. There is nothing more to wait for, I want to build a home with you and have you carry my kids."


    A tear rolls down my eyes. This is a dreaming true but surprisingly I am not happy. I have always


    dreamt of a romantic proposal like this. I guess I had given him enough hints. He knows I appreciate


    quiet asions.


    The room is filled with candles and light of different colors. I can see the table is already set for two,


    everything is done, the only thing left is for me to say yes but no words areing out of me. I can''t


    seem to form a speech.


    "You don''t need to say anything", he says, as if reading my mind. He leans closer and takes my lips


    while wiping my tears with his thumb.


    More tears begin to flow from my eyes with my eyes open. I am now breathing but I still can''t get a


    grasp of what is happening. It feels unreal, it feels like a daydream.


    When he pushed me backward, I know I need to say something at least. I need to do something now


    that won''t make me look like a bad person to Tony before someone else tells him about my little secret.


    "Tony", I pull away, not looking at his face.


    He raises my head and our eyes interlock.


    "I need to tell you something", I inform him.


    I see fear sh across his face and it is suddenly reced with a smile. "We will talkter, Anna", he


    takes my lips again. I try to free myself from his hold but he wouldn''t budge. He seems to be


    determined to have me tonight.


    I am not ready for any of this, I finally confess to myself. I feel ashamed of myself for affirming this to


    myself. I had always thought I had full control of my emotions and I was always ready to judge people


    who are confused when ites to their emotions. I used to think everyone should admit their feelings


    when they like someone.


    Why hide your feelings when it''s so clear like daylight that you love that person? Why will you lie when


    you don''t love someone? Now I know, I am not a good judge because I am now a victim of my


    judgment.


    We fall on the sofa together and he hovers over me. When his lips are away from me, I try to catch my


    breath so I can try one more time to talk to him about my secret marriage and my baby but he stops me


    with another kiss.


    I am vulnerable. I was vulnerable. I have always been this way. I walked into a secret marriage feeling


    vulnerable, now I am walking into another engagement with a different person feeling the same way?


    Is this my fate? What sort of fate is this? What then is my destiny?


    I try to talk again but ites out as a mumble. I try to push him away from him but he is stronger.


    Suddenly, I feel something dragging him away from me. He is no longer on top of me and when I open


    my eyes, I see the least expected person ring at me angrily.


    Aidan.


    ****


    Aidan''s POV


    Anna once told me that I had problems with my emotions and now I know what she said is true. I have


    difficulties figuring out what I feel most times, whether happy or sad, satisfied or not, fulfilled or not, and


    most especially whether it is true that I am in love with Anna.


    I used to wonder how an actor and an actress who are enemies always end up falling in love with each


    other. I used to feel it was unreal and what we watch on TV isn''t real. I used to think marriage is a bed


    of thorns and doesn''t have to be based on love or loyalty and trust but now I know better.


    Now I know what I feel. Now I admit the problems I am having with my emotions. Now I know the value


    of what I have before I will lose it. I have realized she was sent to break through the walls I built around


    my heart, she has been pushing to enter all to no avail.


    All these while that she showed me care, she has been trying so hard to heal me from my hurt that


    refused to heal but I was too blind, too strong-headed, too proud and arrogant to see that the walls


    have cracks already, therebypletely healing me.


    If I let go now that I know she is the healer of my heart, will the cracks go and bring back my hurt?


    I turn away from Anna who has a guilty look on her face. I am d she knows what she just did is silly


    and stupid. I turn to the jerk and punch him furiously in the face.


    He looks confused at first and wants to punch me back. I dodge it, making him fall to the ground. I hit


    him again and again and again. I hate sharing. I can''t share Anna. I don''t share what I love. I don''t


    share what I like, just like how I hated sharing my favorite meal when I was young. I stopped having


    favorite meals, ever since my mother became sick and she could no longer cook them for me.


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    For me to behave this way and be overprotective of Anna, then it means Pam is right.


    I have been denying my feelings for her without knowing, I have been falling head over heels without


    knowing and I have been trying to push her away without knowing the damage it will cause me.


    Now, I know everything.