Chapter 61


    Book 2 Chapter 9


    Daphne’s Point of View


    I jolt awake in a cold sweat, and it takes


    me a moment to realize where I am. Once the fog of sleep has lifted, I look to make sure that I have not


    woken Caleb up. Thankfully, he is still soundly sleeping and was not disturbed by my movement. For a


    moment I am jealous that he is able to sleep so soundly whentely I have been consumed by


    nightmares. Knowing that I will not be able to find sleep again I carefully remove Caleb’s arm from


    around me and slip out of bed.


    My wolf was itching to be free, and since no one else was up I decided that going for a nice morning


    run would clear my head. I quickly throw on a pair of shorts, and a shirt and grab my shoes as I quietly


    walk out of our bedroom door. It does not


    take me long to make my way out of the house.


    As I start walking towards the woods, I cannot stop my mind from wandering back to my dream.


    Somehow in my dream


    my parents were still alive. Caleb had


    gotten tired of me not producing an heir and was returning me to them. In the dream we had returned


    to my former home and Caleb had told my parents that he had made a mistake. My mother in all her


    glory was there to snidely remind me that it was only right that my child had died since I had killed her


    son. My father was shaking his head in disappointment as he told Caleb that I was an


    abomination, one that should have been terminated. Even though there was no physical violence in the


    dream, I felt as beat up as ever. 2


    Recalling the words that my mother had


    spoken in the dream; I truly wonder if the


    Moon Goddess has decided that I was not


    worthy of raising pups. Although I had


    once believed that she favored me at least


    a little because Caleb was my destined


    mate, was that the only happiness that was meant for my life? Could I be happy not being a mother? 1


    Finally reaching the edge of the wood line. I forcibly shake my head to dispel my


    thoughts. Right now, it is time for my


    wolf to run. She deserves to be free and


    wild, and I have not been attentive to her


    needstely. I ensure that I am alone


    before stripping down and shifting into


    my wolf. 1


    I feel the burst of excitement as her paws hit the earth beneath her. Taking a long whiff, I enjoy the


    clean crisp air up here in the mountains. I start the run out slow, taking long leaps and stretching out my


    muscles that have not been usedtely.


    Soon I feel loose and free and start


    dashing deeper into the woods, allowing my wolf to frolic.


    Soon Ie upon a rock wall and decide. to run along side of it. I giggle internally


    as I startle a few rabbits. I can tell that I


    am getting dangerously close to the perimeter of my pack.


    My wolf stops suddenly, tumbling head


    over tail as we unexpectantlye across.


    one of the pack warriors. He quickly takes


    up an attack stance, and a bit of pride


    shoots through me. Using my mind l**k I quickly tell him who I am. The young


    warrior is at first shocked, and then


    fearful as he was in a stance to attack his


    Luna. I reassure him that it is fine, as he profusely apologies to me. I make sure to tell him that I am


    proud of his quick reflexes, before turning and bounding


    back into the forest. a


    This encounter makes me realize that I do


    not know as much as I thought I did about


    the perimeter of our pack region. Although I knew that we had guards and


    scouts posted along our borders, I do not


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    exactly know where our borders are. I


    make a mental note to inquire about that


    issue with Caleb. As I near the area where


    I left my clothes, I snort not looking


    forward to what I have resolved to do


    today.


    I once again make sure that no one else is around before shifting and putting my clothes back on.


    Walking back to the house I bask in the early morning glow of


    the sun. Despite my duties for today, I am


    feeling really good right now.


    I promised myself yesterday that I would


    call the pack doctor today. I know that I


    need to get over losing the pup, not just


    for my sake but for Caleb’s as well.


    Training the peculiar wolves has been a sort of therapeutic relief, but now I worry


    that I am doing more harm than good. I


    barely see Caleb now. Jogging up thest few steps to the main door, I am resolved that I will call the


    pack doctor


    immediately.


    Entering our room, I can tell that I have just missed Caleb. His scent is still very strong, and there is


    evidence that he has just left the shower. My heart aches with missing him. With him in mind I reach for


    my cell phone. It dawns on me that I am not sure who to call. I am not sure if I


    should call the physician that handled the loss of the pup, or the clinic. I decide to call the clinic. Upon


    reaching the


    receptionist I quickly exin the reason for my call, and she politely informs me that she is transferring


    me to the mental


    health clinic.


    The next receptionist that I speak with is


    very polite, and she asks if I would like a male or female doctor. I exin that I do


    not have a preference. She begins to take


    my information to get me scheduled, but


    when she learns that I am the Luna, she


    puts me on hold. It is not too long before


    the phone is picked up by a rather cheery


    voice.


    “Luna this is Doctor Hollis how are you


    feel?”


    “Well, I have been having a few issues.


    and my sister suggested that I reach out and see if there was anything that might possibly help.” Now


    that there was a doctor on the line, I admit that I was


    incredibly nervous to admit the issues I


    was experiencing.


    “I would be more than happy to help you.


    I also want you to know that whatever we


    discuss will remain between us only, you have full doctor patient privilege.” I felt slightly better after she


    stated that. “Now how about we get down to what you are


    currently experiencing, so that I will


    know how to assist you better.”


    “Um so to start with I am having trouble sleeping. I keep having nightmares.” She mumbles I see and


    encourages me to


    continue. “I was um pregnant, but um the baby was not alive.” I had not realized that I was crying until I


    felt the tear hit


    the palm of my hand.


    “The loss of a child is truly devastating. I am sorry that you had to endure that.”


    There is no hint of malice in her voice. In


    fact, it is strangelyforting, almost


    motherly.


    “Should it be this devastating though? I


    never held it, I never even seen the face of


    the pup. The doctor literally said it was a


    lump of cells. Before this happened, I had


    never even thought of having pups.” The words poured out like a leaking faucet.


    “Just because you had not thought of being a mother does not lessen the pain of losing the unexpected


    pup. You have


    every right to mourn that loss. Now that


    you have lost the pup, do you desire to be a mother still?”


    “Yes.” The word is out before I even think


    about it. “Caleb and I have never fully discussed having a family, but yes I would


    love to have a child.”


    “I see. Well, my first exercise for you toplete is to have an honest discussion with your mate about


    your desire to have a pup. Although I am not Caleb’s physician, I have seen him interact with the young


    children of the pack and I do not believe he would be opposed to the idea. Although I know that an


    honest discussion is needed between you two


    regarding the matter.” Her words are not unkind, and I know that she is right. I do


    need to talk to Caleb.


    “I have been avoiding him.” The words.e out barely above a whisper.


    “Everyone grieves differently, but I have to say that isting yourself from your


    mate will only lead to more heartbreak. Is


    there a particr reason why you have been avoiding Caleb?” I like that she does


    not hedge around the problems, instead. choosing to address them outright.


    “I feel like I have failed him. Not just failed him but failed the pack. I know that most Alpha’s desire an


    heir. I am


    supposed to be able to give him an heir. Plus, I know that he would be an amazing father to any pup.”


    “You have failed no one Luna.


    Miscarriages aremon amongst our kind, and humans. It does not mean that you cannot or will not


    have other pups. Do not let this tragedy determine your outlook upon yourself. I also feel the need


    to add that this is the modern world that


    we live in Luna. You hold no


    responsibility to bless anyone with an


    heir.” Sheughed a little at the end and I


    appreciated her ability to lighten the


    mood.


    “Thank you for that.”


    “There is no need to thank me, Luna. I


    am going to prescribe a sleeping medication; we will start you off with a


    low dose and will increase it as needed. I


    would like to schedule you for another appointment in a week. In the meantime, if you have a bad day


    or feel the need to


    call me, I will send over my private


    number. Now I was serious about giving


    you the exercise to work through. You


    need to set time aside to have a


    discussion with Caleb about how you are.


    feeling, and how this event has affected


    you.”


    I thanked Dr. Hollis again while she scheduled my next appointment. Once I was off the phone, I did


    feel slightly


    better, and I took her words to heart. I


    had been avoiding Caleb for far too long. Caleb has never been harsh with me and I


    need to be considerate of how this has


    affected him as well.


    A quick n formted in my head involving surprising Caleb with dinner. I jumped off the bed excited


    to get into


    action. I cannot wait to see his surprise.