Chapter 173


    He looked at me like he didn’t want my apologies, but I didn’t let him talk.


    “I am.” My voice wavered. “Knowing that your dad was sick and you were all the way here, alone.


    Taking it all without anyone to hold you. That he has been critical for weeks, and yet you came to Spain


    with me. That you …” I trailed off, my voice now shaking. “That you would give me so fucking much


    without ever asking for anything in return. It destroyed me. But I’m here now,” I whispered, looking into


    his eyes.


    “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, not because I believe that we can somehow be together now,


    but because I can’t conceive of being anywhere else but beside you.” I swallowed hard, trying to rein in


    every emotion threatening to burst out. “You know that, right?” I leaned in, my lips brushing over his.


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    Very softly, almost tentatively. Waiting for his answer.


    “I do now.” A low grunt came from his throat. His fingers tightened once more around my wrist. The arm


    around my waist brought me even deeper into his chest. “I do, Lina. And I don’t n on letting you


    forget that.”


    The hand that had been on my wrist trailed up my arm, his palm cupping my face. I leaned into his


    touch, feeling like I could live only on Aaron’s caresses and kisses.


    “I would havee back for you, you know? I told you I wouldn’t let you quit on us. You still owed me


    that four-letter word.”


    He had said that. And the realization made my stomach drop to my feet. How dumb I had been. Aaron


    hadn’t given up on us; that had been only me. Only temporarily. While Aaron had been holding on to


    this. To us. All this time. Even when he needed someone by his side the most. And that … that made


    the heart in my chest burst into a hundred million pieces, only to reassemble into something different.


    Something that didn’t belong to me anymore. It belonged to us.


    “It’s yours. Love and all the other four-letter words I could ever give you.” I ced a kiss on his mouth,


    not able to hold myself back any longer. I took my time with his lips, iming them as mine. iming


    him.


    A hum sounded deep in his throat. “You are stuck with me, Catalina.”


    Both arms cradled me closer in hisp, further into his chest. The side of my head rested against his


    drumming heart, his chin on the top of my hair, and peace—an overpowering kind of peace I had never


    heard of or experienced before—settled between my shoulders. And I knew then that we’d take


    anything on as long as we were together. We were a team. We’d light up each other’s way, hold each


    other’s hand, and push the other forward when we stumbled. Together. We’d do anything together.


    Just like we would get through this. I’d get Aaron through this.


    “Aaron?” I lifted my gaze and met his. “I’m here for you now. I’m going to take care of you,” I told him


    simply.


    He sighed; it was deep and slow, and it sounded like he carried the weight of the world on his


    shoulders.


    “But just know that if I had known your dad was sick, I would have never let youe to Spain with


    me. Why didn’t you tell me when you talked a


    bout him, Aaron? I know you don’t owe me an exnation, but I want to know. I want to understand


    better.”


    “Because everything … changed.” His throat worked, and his gaze took on a lost edge. “He has been


    battling cancer for thest year. Ironic huh? First, Mom and now…” Aaron trailed off, needing a second


    topose himself. “Until a few days ago, I had nned on remaining away. Leave things the way


    they were between us. Even when I flew home a few weeks ago.”


    “You did?”


    “Yes, it was after my promotion was announced. That was what kept me from talking to you about our


    deal.”


    I had not noticed Aaron taking days off back then, although work had beenpletely crazy, so I


    guessed I had been distracted. But it all made sense now.


    “I would have talked to you eventually. I would have managed either way.”


    “That doesn’t matter now, baby,” I told him, meaning every word.


    He sighed deeply. “So, I came all the way to Seattle, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. To admit


    to myself, to show him that I still cared when he had pushed me away all those years ago. When he


    was the father I had already lost.”


    My fingers drew circles on his chest, right above his heart. “What changed then?”


    “Everything did.” He exhaled, and it came out shaky and pained. “I … I somehow thought I had you,


    and then just as quickly, I didn’t. And as much as I was set on not letting you quit on me, I saw it in your


    eyes. You had really given up on us. You believed in your decision.”


    A shadow came over his face, and I instinctively leaned to ce a kiss to the corner of his lips,


    dissipating that temporary darkness.


    “The possibility that I could really lose you started solidifying in my head. And I just …” He shook his


    head. “God, it’s not the same, I know. But I finally got it. I understood how hard it’d hit him, losing Mom.


    How lost he must have been at the reality of not having a way to get her back. How many reckless


    decisions he must have taken. It did not justify that he pushed me away, but I am to me too. I had


    been so lost in my own head that I let him do that. And then I allowed both of us to keep it on for years.”


    “Neither of you is at fault, Aaron. We are not programmed to lose those we love; there’s no right or


    wrong way to grieve.” My hand trailed up his chest, my palm settling against his corbone. “We just try


    our best, even when, often, our best is not good enough. ming yourself now is not going to change


    the past; it’s only going to take away energy that you should be spending in the present. And look


    where you are now; you are here. It’s not toote.”


    He brushed a kiss over my head. “That day, when everything with Gerald went down, I got a call from


    the hospital. They told me that things didn’t look well for him. Apparently, my dad had asked for me.


    Several times. Demanded that I had to be contacted.” His voice trailed off, and I let my fingers y with


    the hair at the nape of his neck. Letting him know I was here. Listening. Having his back. “It’s like


    everything lined up, and suddenly, not only did I understand him in a way I hadn’t before, but I also had


    this urge to see him. Not to apologize or to mend things between us, but to at least say good-bye. And I


    knew this was probably myst chance to do that.”


    “Did you do that? Say good-bye?”


    “The moment I got here, I went into his room with the intention to do that. Say good-bye, walk out, and


    just wait. But I … somehow ended up talking to him. Telling him everything I hadn’t said in all these


    years we were apart. He wasn’t conscious. I can’t be sure if he was even listening, but I just went on. I


    couldn’t stop. I talked and talked, Lina. Told him everything. I don’t even know how long I was there.


    And I don’t know if it was for nothing because maybe not a word was getting through to him, but I did it


    anyway.”


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