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The fishy smell attracted four monster crocodiles, which quickly devoured the fish traps in the river like snacks. Then, their crimson eyes turned toward the two goblins on the shore, and they began to twist their bulky bodies onto land.
At this moment, Goblin Spear was frozen in fear. Li Qinwu dragged his limp body with great effort to a safe spot. Seeing that the goblin still hadn’t snapped out of it, Li Qinwu slapped him twice.
“Damn it! If you don’t run now, you’ll be fish food!”
Only then did Goblin Spear regain his senses. He took one look at the monster crocodiles crawling ashore and let out a terrified shriek before bolting madly into the forest. He didn’t stop until he was hundreds of meters away, far enough that the river was no longer visible.
Goblin Spear gasped for breath, but then he realized Li Qinwu hadn’t followed him. Normally, he would have just run off on his own, but because he was now Li Qinwu’s soldier, he instinctively worried about his leader’s safety.
Against the selfish instincts of a goblin, he turned back to look for Li Qinwu.
When he finally found him, the sight left Goblin Spear utterly stunned.
Li Qinwu was standing about ten meters in front of the monster crocodiles. Every time the crocodiles crawled forward a meter, Li Qinwu would retreat a meter. He was leading them around!
“B-Boss!”
Goblin Spear wanted to tell Li Qinwu to run, but Li Qinwu just waved him off, signaling him not to interfere.
Earlier, Li Qinwu had noticed that these creatures—called Horned Crocodiles in the Mount & Blade system—were incredibly slow. The thick, armored skin on their backs weighed them down, and their stubby legs provided little propulsion. On land, they could only wriggle forward like worms.
Li Qinwu wanted to test how far these Horned Crocodiles would chase him on land, so he kept luring them. The system marked them as enemy units, meaning killing them would grant him experience—and judging by their size, the rewards would be substantial!
The four Horned Crocodiles wriggled after Li Qinwu, who calmly retreated. After dragging them about a hundred meters from the riverbank, the crocodiles lost patience and turned back toward the water.
“A hundred meters is their limit, huh?”
Li Qinwu noted this information, planning to figure out how to exploit it later.
“Let’s go back.”
He called out to Goblin Spear and prepared to return to the goblin tribe. Today’s gains were enough, and there was no need to linger. If night fell while they were still in the forest, they might encounter dangerous nocturnal monsters.
“W-Wait for me, boss!”
Goblin Spear hurried after him, his legs still weak from the terrifying sight of Li Qinwu toying with the Horned Crocodiles. His respect for his leader had grown even deeper.
Instead of heading straight back, Li Qinwu detoured to a safe, small stream where the two of them thoroughly washed themselves.
He crushed some grass with a rock and rubbed the juice on their bodies to mask the fishy smell.
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Under the rule of the fat, lazy goblin chieftain, the tribe didn’t engage in any productive activities—not even hunting unless they were starving. This lifestyle kept the goblins perpetually hungry.
If two goblin youngsters returned reeking of fish, what kind of treatment would they face? The answer was obvious.
Once they confirmed neither of them smelled like fish anymore, they began their return.
Near the goblin settlement, Li Qinwu hid their spears in a bush, then the two of them crawled through the grass to sneak back in.
The moment they entered, Li Qinwu sensed something was wrong.
Dozens of goblins were rolling on the ground, clutching their stomachs and howling in pain. Some were already foaming at the mouth—clearly on their way to the afterlife.
“Are they… poisoned?”
The symptoms looked like poisoning, but he needed confirmation.
He spotted a goblin youngster idly watching the chaos and poked him from behind.
“Hey, what’s going on? Did they eat mushrooms or something?”
The goblin flinched, then bared his teeth at Li Qinwu, growling like a wild animal.
Li Qinwu responded with three sharp slaps, instantly clearing the fog in the goblin’s eyes.
With newfound sincerity, the goblin answered, “The hunting party found some red berries outside and brought them back. A lot of us ate them, and then this happened!”
Definitely poisoning, Li Qinwu thought. And judging by the number of goblins sprawled out, those berries must be highly toxic.
This could be useful. He needed to find out where the berries came from.
When he asked, the goblin youngster said he didn’t know—only the hunting party did. But the hunters had all eaten the berries and were now lying half-dead.
Li Qinwu decided to question one of the surviving hunters. Before leaving, he grinned and placed a hand on the goblin’s shoulder.
“Kid, I can tell you’ve got potential. Join my squad, call me boss, and I’ll make sure you never go hungry.”
The goblin blinked, confused.
Li Qinwu realized his goblin dialect might be too complex, so he simplified it:
“Call me boss. I’ll feed you.”
Ding! Spend 5 denars to recruit Goblin Youngster ×1?
“Damn, that was fast.”
Li Qinwu confirmed, and now he had two followers.
“Your name is Cannon Fodder. Remember it, or you’ll get slapped until you do. Now, follow me.”
With his two minions in tow, Li Qinwu approached a writhing adult goblin—one who was still howling with enough vigor to suggest he hadn’t eaten too many berries.
Li Qinwu grabbed the goblin’s shoulders while the other two lifted his legs, and together they dragged him into the tall grass.
The other goblins paid no attention. To them, these three youngsters were just desperate enough to eat a poisoned comrade.
(Some had already tried—eating a poisoned goblin also made you sick—but no one bothered to warn them. They just waited for the show.)
Once hidden, Li Qinwu asked, “Where did you find those red poison berries?”
“Aaaagh! It hurts! So much pain!!!”
The goblin didn’t answer, just kept screaming. Li Qinwu wasn’t sure what to do. Normally, he’d resort to slaps, but the guy was already half-dead—that felt excessive.
After a moment, he said, “Call me boss, and I’ll make the pain stop.”
Ding! Spend 10 denars to recruit Goblin ×1?
The system prompt came instantly—this goblin agreed immediately.
Li Qinwu paid up, adding him to his squad, then had the two youngsters help drag the poisoned goblin to a small waterfall in the hills—the tribe’s usual water source.
“Open your mouth and drink. Don’t stop until you can’t take anymore!”
The poisoned goblin didn’t understand, but the pain was unbearable. He obeyed, gulping until his belly swelled like a balloon.
Once satisfied, Li Qinwu stopped him. He plucked a flexible water plant root from the stream, forced the goblin’s mouth open, and shoved the root down his throat.
“GACK!”
The goblin vomited violently. After he finished, Li Qinwu made him drink again—then repeat the process.
Three rounds later, the goblin collapsed, limp as a noodle. Li Qinwu ordered his minions to carry him back.
Goblin Spear muttered, “Boss… I think you killed him.”
SLAP!
Goblin Spear yelped, clutching his stinging cheek with teary eyes.
The poisoned goblin wasn’t dead—just severely weakened from the poisoning and forced vomiting.
Realistically, he wouldn’t survive long. The toxins had already damaged his digestive tract beyond repair.
But Li Qinwu had the Mount & Blade system. In the squad management screen, the goblin was listed as Wounded. In Mount & Blade, soldiers only had two states: Wounded or Healthy.
Wounded soldiers would slowly recover as long as the party rested in a village, fortress, or town.
In other words: He’d be fine after a nap.
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