CHAPTER 23.5: Secrets and Sincerity


    I flew to the pack house. I walked to Sadia’s room in my human form and knocked on the door. “Cade?


    So, Lexus is canceling on me?” She sighed. “Again.”


    I hated lying. “He’s been getting more work than usualtely.” I walked in. “We’ve been having fun


    together though right?” I really felt that way.


    “We have.” She closed the door behind me and walked to her desk. “It sucks that I’ve been nning


    the premating ceremony all by myself. Well not all by myself since the queen assigned us someone to


    help n but me and Lexus are supposed to be making the big decisions together.”


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    I walked over to her and saw the wedding nner on her desk. “I can help, I know what Lexus likes.”


    Sadia smiled. “Thanks Cade. When me and Lexus are married and mated, I’ll start helping him with his


    work and we’ll spend a lot of time together again.” That is if Lexus doesn’t try to end things. I pulled up


    a chair and sat next to her. “Okay I want a huge shy wedding, I’m so happy I don’t have to hold back,


    the King and Queen said I can spend as much as I want.”


    We looked over something and she showed me what she knew she wanted for sure for the wedding


    and what she wasn’t so sure about. After half an hour we took a break.


    Sadiaughed at a story I told about my time teaching the younger kids in the castle to fly. “You’re the


    worst teacher ever.” I never realized how much I loved herugh.


    I stood up and moved the chair to the side. “Well, they can fly now, can’t they?” I joked.


    Sadia stood up and pushed her chair into the desk. “I’m not sure if they can with the kind of instructions


    and demonstration you gave them.” She giggled. “Lexus taught me how to fly, if he didn’t, I’m not sure


    who would have.” Weid down on our back on her carpet floor and stared up at the ceiling.


    Sadia broke the silence with something that had obviously been on her mind for a while. “Last night


    Lydia was asking me what it meant to be a good girlfriend. She’s dating Princess Hannah, so I guess


    that’s why she wanted to know. We went to go for ate-night run and saw Hannah, Lexus and Aqua


    not too far from here.” This was news to me “Aqua was there because she was using her abilities for


    Hannah but I’m not sure why Lexus was with them. They just happen to both be up thatte? He said


    Hannah needed their help, but Hannah didn’t need anything from Lexus. It’s not like he’s usually there


    for Hannah. He’s so closed off from everyone, even here so why would he go out of his way?”


    I would feel stupiding up with an excuse for him when I know he’s cheating with Aqua. “Lexus is


    hard to understand sometimes.”


    “When I was talking to Lydia about what it means to be a good girlfriend, I wasn’t sure if I was a good


    one. Lexus isn’t the one who needs me, I need him. I’m not sure what I’m really offering him.”


    I scoffed. “You’re good to Lexus Sadia. Even if he didn’t see that it wouldn’t change who you are.” If


    Ve was anything like Sadia maybe things wouldn’t have ended the way, they did. “You’re full of life


    and a caring person.”


    “Maybe Lexus just thinks I only want to be Queen. Where’s the substance in that? After he proposed I


    went on and about myself and how excited I was to be the future Queen,” She exined with worry.


    “I wouldn’t hold that against you. It’s not like you were in a rtionship to begin with. You lived your life


    at a low status in this pack. Sure, you’re the strongest female but they don’t take you seriously as a


    pack member. When you be Queen, you’ll be epted and so much will change for you.” I sat up


    and looked down at her. “Do you really love Lexus, or do you love what he can do for you?”


    Sadia looked away. “You’re creating your own narrative… I’ve loved Lexus for years.”


    “Because he was the only guy to care about you?”


    She sat up and turned her back to me. “No Cade, I love Lexus because of who he is.”


    I was only pushing so hard because it bothered me that she convinced herself that she loved someone


    who didn’t love her. This was the closest thing we’ve ever had to a fight. “Okay fine, what if there were


    another guy who wanted to be with you? One who connected with you more. Would you have wished


    you waited instead of being with the first guy who liked you?”


    She didn’t say anything for a while. “Maybe you should leave Cade. I’m gonna go find Tam or Calvin to


    hang out with. You’re only here because Lexus sent you anyway.”


    I stood up. “If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be, I’d be working like I’m supposed to be. I hope you


    have fun being Queen.” I liked Sadia; it was hard to admit to myself because that just makes the


    situation moreplicated. I might have made my feelings obvious to her, but she won’t acknowledge


    them because she wants the life Lexus can give her and I can’t. I’ve had feelings for her for a since we


    started hanging out. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to break up with Ve. Ve wasn’t the same


    person anymore; it was like she was constantly guilty or something. My instincts told me to end things.


    I didn’t want to acknowledge my feelings for Sadia until now because I felt bad about liking my best


    friend''s fiancée. I didn’t think it could go anywhere. I don’t feel bad about it anymore because he’s the


    one sleeping my sister and cheating. Sadia was still out of my reach because I couldn’t give her what


    Lexus could.