There are many things that suck about being a woman, but fortunately ruptured testicles aren’t among them.


    Perhaps I score a critical hit. Perhaps this is the boss’ weak point. Perhaps I am the most powerful of shut-ins. Either way, striking the scaly sack with my hammer proves tremendously effective.


    He howls and his legs quiver, before giving out entirely. I barely move out of the way before his ass flattens the ground beneath him.


    I do not waste this opportunity. This is just like when you break a monster’s poise and you score a free critical hit. Taking the dagger I’d been stabbed with by the very first lizardfolk, I stick it into the second testicle. I swing my hammer back in an arc and down on the blade, driving it through like a nail.


    I scuttle back as Lathokar, the Lizard King, mightiest of all lizardfolk, falls forward with a gurgle, clutching his bloodied and eviscerated crotch.


    [HP: 6/20]


    His head lies beside me, the eyes teary and dazed. The teeth are cracked from clenching too hard. This is likely my only chance.


    I swing, and my hammer hits his eyeball, covering me in yucky eye goop. He barely even yelps, so I vault over his snout–surprising what 6 STR and some adrenaline can do–and budgeon his other eye into paste.


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    [HP: 5/20]


    At least now, blinded and hopefully slowed by the destroyed balls, I have time to make my escape.


    I hobble off in the direction of the portal. My side is a lot more bloodied now. The only reason I’m even able to move right now is my extra STR making me strong enough to lift my feet.


    [Due to strenuous activity, the effect of your Bleed status has increased]


    [Status: Bleed]


    [Take 1 damage every 15 seconds]


    [Due to excessive blood loss, you gain the Shock status effect]


    [Status: Shock]


    [You are unable to move for 1 minute]


    I keel over, landing on my uninjured side. Blood trickles out of the side of my mouth. The hammer I was holding dissipates into particles.


    [HP: 4/20]


    Fuck me. I was looking forward to making egg fried rice tonight. I’m going to miss Jake too… actually, are the dead even capable of missing people? At least Jake knows how I wish to be buried–that one sci-fi show has permanently scarred me. Please don’t cremate me.


    [HP: 3/20]


    In the edge of my vision, the Lizard King shifts, uses his hammer to stablise himself like a walking stick. Oh well, I die soon anyway. What difference does it make if I bleed out or get squashed.


    [HP: 2/20]


    Just 15 seconds until the Shock wears off. And another 15 until I bleed out.


    When I die, I would very much like to be reincarnated as a cat in a good household. Eat, sleep, cuddles.


    In the distance, Lathokar stumbles and he collapses.


    [You have slain <Lathokar, the Lizard King>]


    [HP: 11/20]


    Some more system messages show up, but my vision is too blurry to make them out. Everything just turns into blurs and eventually blackness.