* * *


    After coming outside of that small one-story house, El followed the man to get outside of the alleyway. He looked up, his mouth left agape. He was greeted, by an unfamiliar sight like never before. Towering buildings, not made of wood like what he regularly saw, but from what he had heard in the village and read in the books, namely bricks or perhaps concrete blocks. People walked about in every direction. Some were fat, some were thin, but they all shared one thing in common: they looked healthy. Fatigue and anguish didn’t envelop their outward appearance like a second layer of skin.


    Everything.


    Everything was good.


    He had heard that the people living in the city did not have to worry about dying from hunger, suffering from malignant diseases that would inevitably shorten their lives, or facing bandits who would kill, rape, and rob as they pleased if the village happened to be unlucky on any given day.


    ''I... I..''


    ''I feel uncomfortable… is this jealousy?''


    ''I can''t deny that this is me and my thoughts. Of how lucky they all are.''


    El abruptly stopped his steps – silently mulling over it in his place while looking down at the ground. He didn''t know what to think at the moment. Suddenly, he found a pair of black shoes right in front of his feet, which also was covered by the same shoes, except for the size difference. El looked up. It was that man, now with a black mask and a large grey jacket, just like the one he was wearing right now, but a smaller version of it.


    "You are fine, aren''t you boy?"


    Shaking his head, El gets rid of all that ''not so good'' conception from the inside of his mind. Giving the man a smile, he said, "Nothing sir. I just remember something seeing this many people.”


    "Alright lad, come on. It was close. This is one of the places you need to be regular if you were living in Mirthwater."


    Running to catch up to the man''s big step, El raised a question, intrigued. "Mirthwater???"


    "Yes… this is the place you''re going to live. At least for now."


    "Oh, I see."


    At last, they finally arrived at the eatery. It was a simple wooden building that appeared old but sturdy, nestled between grand and magnificent structures on either side. Despite its modest appearance, it attracted a large number of people, particularly those who were already inside the restaurant. Fortunately, there was a spacious yard outside, complete with its shade, empty tables, and chairs. Taking one of the empty tables, that man called for the waiter. He ordered bunches of dishes with names El didn''t understand from that thick piece of white paper, covered by some kind of white, transparent plastic. But if it was food made and served in the city.


    ''Surely, it is going to be good, isn''t it?'' El assumed with full of expectation.


    As they waited for their food, El asked that man, "So, can I have your name now, sir?"


    Looking at El in the eye, the man answered, "It won''t do you any good if you knew my name, kid."


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    "… I see… what about. What about my memories then? What''s happened?"


    "Ask other questions!!?"


    "Uh, why?"


    "Hmmmm… this time too I will say, it won''t do you any good knowing that."


    "Oh wow. You just don''t want to tell me anything aren''t you sir? Won''t do you any good, won''t do you any good. How about a different answer next time," El said while rolling his eyes.


    "No kidding," the man counter El, then looked away.


    El could glimpse something behind that action. And it was, ''Is it… guilt?''


    "Alright, here is another question," after taking a deep breath, El resumed. "You are… sad, aren''t you sir?" El asked that, with eyes intently focused on the man''s expression.


    "Huh. Why do you think so?" the man raised one of his eyebrows and deflected the question with another question.


    "When you touched those books. You look sad. I mean, I don''t know how I could fully explain this, I am, you see. A sensitive person when it comes to someone''s feelings. Someone''s, emotions. Like, I could feel it… and. You were sad at that time. Still sad to this time," El recalled the man''s expression and the emotion radiating from him when he brushed his fingers gently from the right to the left along those rows of books.


    The only thing he could discern from him at that moment was that grief hid behind the fa?ade of strength. A sorrow shrouded him. And it feels like he was recollecting something of the past, and helpless to change the outcome. There was a crack in his expression that El noticed. El glimpsed upon the poker face that changed into that of sorrow, but it only lasted for a few seconds at most. It was back to normal after that, with silence ensuing, making El uncomfortable and remorseful. ''Maybe it was a mistake for me to ask that.''


    After a minute, the man breaks the stillness. His eyes were now fixed on the void. "The place where you slept earlier. It was a room once used by my daughter."


    "…"


    "She likes reading books… and I was a criminal back then. So, most of the time in her life, she needs to hide. Hiding for the failure of a father… I remember that she is such a sweet child," he stated flatly as if it were everyday news. However, El could discern subtle hints of emotion from him. His lips trembled from the weight of the burden it gripped onto him.


    "…"


    "…"


    "I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to," El said, tears streaming down his face, dampening his cheeks. He looks down, feeling ashamed. Because he believed that, a man shouldn''t ever cry.


    He didn''t want to cry. It was just… he couldn''t help it.


    Because the sheer sadness behind that composure breaks his heart. He didn''t know when or how it had come to be, but El, since he was still a child, could feel the haunting emotions of others to some extent. Sometimes, he couldn''t feel anything – numb to any sensations. But this time, unfortunately for him, his senses in that part felt heightened several times, making him acutely aware of the man''s suffering.


    The stabbing pain in the heart. Even his fingers now quivering from the man''s reflections of that emotion.


    On the other hand, the man was now smiling. He said, "Oho, you could guess it then. No worries child, it was all in the past."


    "I''m sorry… hic…"


    "Nothing to be sorry about… you don''t have it easy either, yet you still managed to even cry for an old man like me. You really are such a good kid," he said, eyes on El who was busy rubbing his eyes with his hands and shirt.


    A short moment later, in panic, the man said, "Hmmm, you better stop crying, kid. Everyone is now looking at us."


    Looking up to understand what the man was talking about, El surveyed his surroundings. A few guests there were now looking at their table with weird skepticism. Especially a mother of several children who sat on the outside, glaring at the man with eyes spewing fire that were practically saying, ''What are you doing to a kid, making him cry that much?''


    "… pffftt… ehehehe," El couldn''t help but feel funny about the misunderstanding. Stealing a shy glance at that particular mother until their eyes met, she then gave El the kindness and the sweetest smile she could muster. El ends up nodding, replying to her with a smile of his own.


    "Hmmm, you evil kid. I give that to you!"


    Calmed down, El replied to him while wiping his eyes with tissues given by the man. "It''s not my fault. You look so intimidating, like someone ready to kill. Hehehe…"


    * * *