Feeling restless and unable to focus on his martial arts practice, Yan Tianyou decided to stop and lock himself in his room.
He flopped onto the bed, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Recalling the harsh words he had spoken earlier, he knew his actions must have deeply hurt Ding Yixin.
Though he couldn’t see her face, he imagined her forcing a smile that was worse than tears. No matter how strong she tried to be, she was still hurt. Was she hiding somewhere, crying alone? But what did it matter? It had nothing to do with him, right?
Perhaps this was the outcome he had hoped for—maybe it would finally make her give up on him completely. After all, he was a man beyond saving, both physically and mentally.
Yes, he was sick. Not just the cursed blood disorder, but his heart was also diseased, and it was severe.
Over the years, Ding Yixin had become like a shadow by his side, an indispensable presence. Yet, he was always stingy with kindness, treating her as if she were at his beck and call, pushing her away whenever he pleased.
Simply put, he took pleasure in bullying her, constantly hurting her, as if he wouldn’t stop until she was utterly broken. And he knew all too well that there were many ways to hurt someone without lifting a finger.
She had once told him, with great conviction: "Boys who bully girls are the worst. A real boy doesn’t use his strength to hurt others."
It was she who had taught him that physical violence was the lowest form of cruelty. She had shown him that the deepest wounds weren’t physical but emotional.
So, he didn’t need to hurt her directly. He could use others to do the job, causing even greater damage and achieving a more profound effect. That was why he kept pushing Ding Yixin toward other men.
Even though he went to great lengths to push her away, seeing her hurt and in tears brought him no joy. Instead, it filled him with guilt and self-reproach.
Feelings of regret, guilt, reluctance, and heartache drove him to seek her out, to hold her tightly, as if through possessing her, he could affirm something—perhaps his own existence, or maybe his ability to love and protect her.
A bitter smile tugged at his lips as he covered his closed eyes with his hands. He had always known how contradictory and foolish his behavior was, how absurd and laughable his mindset was. He loved her deeply but couldn’t admit it. He wanted to have her but couldn’t give her happiness. He chose to let her go but couldn’t bring himself to do it. As a result, they had been going in circles for years.
He didn’t want to let her go, yet he didn’t want her to waste her youth on a man as useless as him. With his frail body, he had no ability to give her a future.
In truth, if either of them chose to cross the line or make a change, their tug-of-war relationship would come to an end. Though neither of them had spoken it aloud, they both knew this tension was on the verge of snapping.
As time passed, he realized they couldn’t maintain the status quo forever. A resolution was necessary, whether it meant staying together or parting ways.
But how could he truly harden his heart and let go of this twenty-year-long love, this relationship that had no future?
After all, it was she who had saved his life. His body and the life he now lived were all thanks to her. Without Ding Yixin, he wouldn’t even be in this world. He would have ended his bleak existence long ago, putting an end to his painful life.
Before Ding Yixin had entered his life, he couldn’t imagine living a normal life, let alone having any kind of future…
The air was cold, devoid of any warmth. The world seemed to stand still, unchanging.
For seven-year-old Yan Tianyou, life felt like an endless cycle. He couldn’t feel any joy or hope, any love or warmth. His existence was dull and painful.
From the moment he could remember, no matter what he did, he was always alone. Sleeping, eating, playing—everything happened within the confines of his room, surrounded by four walls and the rotating staff who looked after him. His life was monotonous and lifeless.
He longed to be with his family, to hug his parents tightly like his sister did, to run freely in the garden, to go to school and make friends... But all of these were just distant dreams. He was an outcast, a pitiful creature trapped in a cage.
His family’s love for him was always expressed through words and glances, but no one ever hugged him. Unless absolutely necessary, they avoided touching him altogether, terrified of accidentally harming him. It made him feel like a monster.
Why did his blood never stop flowing when he got hurt? Why did he have this illness? What was the purpose of his existence? Was it just to endure endless hospital visits, the needle marks on his arms, and the torment of his frail body? Or was it to wait for the day when his blood would finally run dry?
If that was the case, he’d rather choose the latter. Let his blood flow until there was nothing left. Let’s see how long it would take, how much blood he had...
"Ow! That hurts!" Yan Tianyou dropped the knife, letting the blood pour from his wrist. He watched as the sheets turned red, his body growing colder and his eyes empty.
"What are you doing?" Hearing faint noises from the next room, Ding Yixin rushed over, only to be met with a horrifying scene.
"You’re bleeding so much!" Ding Yixin panicked, grabbing a towel to wrap around his wrist, pressing hard to stop the bleeding. With her other hand, she tried to feed him medicine. "Take this!"
But Yan Tianyou refused, knocking the medicine away and pushing her hand aside.
"I’ll go get someone," Ding Yixin said, turning to leave.
Yan Tianyou grabbed her with his uninjured hand. "Who told you to meddle? Don’t call anyone."
"That’s not an option! You’ll bleed to death!" Ding Yixin struggled to break free, shocked by his strength. Seeing the pool of blood, her legs felt weak, and her heart raced with fear.
"I told you not to interfere!" he growled, his voice low but fierce, though his strength was fading fast.
His already pale face was now ghostly white. Ding Yixin’s eyes welled up with tears. "If I don’t help you, you’ll die."
"What’s the difference between life and death? My world is just these four walls!" His words were bitter, but they held a painful truth. "It’s better if I die. Then you won’t have to deal with me anymore, won’t have to take care of this monster."
Staring at his lifeless expression, Ding Yixin’s eyes widened in fear. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Death and separation weren’t unfamiliar to her—they were painful experiences she never wanted to relive. She didn’t want anyone she knew to die, not even the boy who constantly bullied her.
"You’re not a monster. You’re just sick," Ding Yixin said, tears streaming down her face as she pressed harder on his wound. "If you die, Auntie and Uncle will be heartbroken, and I’ll be so sad. Please don’t die. You can bully me, hit me, scold me—it’s fine. Just don’t leave us like my parents did. Don’t go to heaven. Don’t leave us."
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly, her small body trembling uncontrollably. She was terrified he might disappear. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want anyone to die!
For the first time, Yan Tianyou felt the warmth of another person’s embrace, as if it could melt the icy walls around his heart. His nose tingled, and tears began to fall.
He had never known how warm and comforting a hug could be. He hadn’t realized that someone in this world cared about him so much. Maybe he wasn’t alone after all. Maybe life could have meaning, after all. Maybe...
Yan Tianyou’s frail, pale face was now peaceful in sleep. Ding Yixin carefully tucked him in and sat quietly beside him, watching over her "sleeping prince."
Yan Tianyou’s body was weaker than most, and he tired easily, so he spent most of his time sleeping. Ding Yixin would stay by his side, reading books and keeping him company.
The shocking suicide attempt had thrown the entire Yan household into chaos. Mrs. Yan had fainted on the spot, and Yan Tianyou had nearly died. If he had cut an artery, he might not have made it.
The blood loss left him even weaker, and he needed plenty of rest to recover. The usually arrogant, domineering boy was nowhere to be seen, and it would be a long time before he returned to his old self.
"What’s the difference between life and death? My world is just these four walls!"
Yan Tianyou’s despairing words echoed in Ding Yixin’s mind, filling her with sorrow.
It was because he had been so sheltered, so isolated from the world, that Yan Tianyou had lost all hope in life and considered ending it.
She hadn’t realized how lonely and pessimistic he was. The fortress the Yan family had built around him, meant to protect him, had become a terrifying prison. He had wanted to escape it, even if it meant death.
But to be fair, the Yan family had indeed overprotected Yan Tianyou. In the vast Yan household, he was confined to his room. Other than the hospital, he had never been anywhere else. Even his meals were eaten alone, as his schedule didn’t align with the rest of the family.
Speaking of Yan Tianyou’s meals, Ding Yixin was amazed. All his food was specially prepared—not only was it nutritionally balanced, but it was also entirely liquid, as they feared he might accidentally bite his tongue or cheeks.
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Every aspect of his care was meticulously planned, all to prevent him from getting hurt. But in doing so, they had stripped away any joy from his life. Their well-meaning protection had become a heavy burden.
This couldn’t go on. Ding Yixin decided it was time to talk to Mrs. Yan. Actions spoke louder than words, and she was ready to take action.
"Auntie, Uncle, do you have a moment?" Ding Yixin found Mr. and Mrs. Yan in the second-floor sitting room.
After the incident, Mrs. Yan had become like a startled bird. Seeing Ding Yixin, she immediately jumped up. "Did something happen to Tianyou?"
"No, he’s fine. He’s asleep," Ding Yixin quickly reassured her. "I just wanted to talk to you about something."
"You’re worrying too much. Don’t scare the child," Mr. Yan said, putting down his glass and gently comforting his wife. She had been on edge lately. "Yixin, what did you want to talk about?"
"It’s about Tianyou..." Ding Yixin hesitated, unsure how to begin.
"That child... I never thought he’d do something so foolish, so hopeless," Mr. Yan said, feeling like a failure as a father.
"What was Tianyou thinking? Why didn’t he tell us if he was unhappy?" Mrs. Yan’s voice cracked, her eyes filling with tears.
Ding Yixin didn’t want to make the Yan couple feel guilty. She quickly shared her thoughts. "Actually, Tianyou is just really lonely. He’s always wanted to be a normal kid, to go to school and make friends."
"We know he’s suffered, but his body needs special care. It’s too dangerous for him to interact with the outside world. A normal life would be too much for him."
Though Mrs. Yan’s intentions were good, her methods were too extreme.
"Auntie, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think Tianyou is being overprotected. Your actions have taken away his freedom and happiness." Though she hadn’t been with the Yan family for long, Ding Yixin had observed a lot.
"I know Tianyou really wants to see the world, to try new things, to run freely, to laugh heartily, to experience all the fun and exciting things out there. He doesn’t care if he gets hurt..."
Listening to her, Mr. and Mrs. Yan exchanged glances, momentarily speechless.
They had always known that their son longed for a normal life, but they had chosen to ignore his pleading eyes, never truly addressing his needs. Their fear of losing him had led them to overprotect him, unknowingly causing him harm.
Had they been wrong all along? Should they let go, stop being so anxious, and try to treat him like a normal child, letting him enjoy the joys of childhood?
Mr. Yan squeezed his wife’s hand, and they silently communicated their shared realization.
"Yixin, you’re absolutely right. We’ll seriously consider this and rearrange Tianyou’s life," Mr. Yan said.
"That’s great!" Ding Yixin beamed. "Does that mean he can go to school?"
"We can’t rush things. The first priority is to help Tianyou recover," Mrs. Yan said, grateful and comforted by the little girl’s genuine concern for her son.
"Don’t worry, I’ll always stay by Tianyou’s side," Ding Yixin promised, patting her chest.
To better protect Yan Tianyou, Ding Yixin began learning martial arts and suggested that Yan Tianyou do the same. It would help him defend himself, build his strength, and cultivate his character.
Fortunately, the Yan family had connections with the famous martial arts family, the Ties, and they arranged for the eldest son of the Tie family to personally train them.
Though Yan Tianyou still couldn’t attend school, his life underwent a significant change. His world was no longer confined to four walls. He could move freely around the Yan household, eat meals with his family, and his life became vibrant and full of energy.
Yan Tianyou and Ding Yixin’s relationship also improved. Though he still loved to sulk and throw tantrums, he bullied her less often. His affection for her grew day by day, and her constant presence and obedience became something he took for granted but couldn’t live without.
By the time he started middle school, Yan Tianyou finally got his wish—he was enrolled in a prestigious private school, where he began to explore the world and truly start his life.
Yan Tianyou, with his strong sense of pride, had always hidden his illness to avoid special treatment or discrimination. Avoiding physical contact with others, he was often misunderstood as being either overly fastidious or arrogant.
To his classmates, he was an insufferable, self-important young master who looked down on everyone and refused to socialize. To the employees of the Yan Corporation, he was a lazy, spoiled heir who stayed up all night and couldn’t be bothered to work.
Despite his handsome appearance and status as a "golden bachelor," not a single female employee dared to approach him. His volatile temper and icy demeanor kept everyone at arm''s length.
Only Ding Yixin truly understood Yan Tianyou’s pain. No one knew him better or was more patient with him than she was.
Snapping out of her thoughts, Ding Yixin put down her work. It was past lunchtime, and Yan Tianyou still hadn’t shown up. She couldn’t help but worry.
Because he often struggled to wake up early, Yan Tianyou only worked half-days. He usually arrived at the office by noon, but today there was no sign of him. Was he feeling unwell? She decided to call the driver.
"Uncle Han, where are you and the young master?"
"Miss, we’re at Bailing Sports Park in Shilin."
Bailing Sports Park? Sigh. Who had upset him this time? "When will you be back at the office?"
"The young master didn’t say," Uncle Han replied honestly. "Miss, he’s been gone for a while, and I’m starting to worry."
"I’ll go check on him," Ding Yixin said without hesitation, getting up to leave. "If the young master returns, let me know. Don’t tell him I’m coming to look for him."
"Understood."
In the vast park, Ding Yixin headed straight for the soccer field. She easily spotted the familiar figure sitting on the fixed bleachers by the riverbank.
She knew that whenever Yan Tianyou was troubled or feeling down, he would come here to watch the players sweat and compete on the field, his eyes filled with longing and envy. Over the years, this habit of his hadn’t changed—only his state of mind had.
Ding Yixin stood quietly to the side, accustomed to watching his lonely figure from behind. She didn’t disturb him, planning to reveal herself only when he was ready to leave.
This man, who always made her worry and ache for him—how she wished she could step forward, embrace him, and offer comfort. If her tenderness could melt the walls he had built around himself, if her love could warm his frozen heart, she wouldn’t be standing here. She would rush into his arms without hesitation.
A wry smile crossed Ding Yixin’s lips. She knew that if she recklessly tried to get closer to him, determined to break into his heart, he would undoubtedly push her away and flee, never looking back.
Because now, he no longer needed her comfort, no longer enjoyed her touch, and despised her initiative. Unlike when they were younger, when holding his hand or hugging him would make him respond with joy—clutching her small hand or holding her tightly, his slightly awkward face showing the happiness of being needed and valued. That heartwarming, cherished expression of his was something she could never forget.
When had he become so cold and distant? When had he started to push her away?
If she remembered correctly, it was during their third year of college, after that accident...
"Miss, are you here alone?"
"Do you know anyone on the soccer field?"
Two tall men in soccer jerseys interrupted Ding Yixin’s thoughts. Their teasing expressions made her straighten up and put on a stern face, though her naturally gentle appearance did little to intimidate them.
"I’m just watching," she replied, her voice soft and pleasant.
The two young men, seeing her delicate demeanor, couldn’t help but feel attracted.
"If you’re interested in soccer, we’d be happy to give you a demonstration."
"Yeah, we’re on the school team. There’s a friendly match later. You’re welcome to watch."
"Sorry, I’d rather be alone," Ding Yixin politely declined.
But the two men didn’t take the hint and continued to pester her.
Hearing the commotion, Yan Tianyou turned around. Seeing the all-too-familiar scene, he felt a surge of irritation.
Ding Yixin always seemed to attract trouble, with her appearance that seemed to beg for male protection.
Yan Tianyou slowly stood up, hands in his pockets, continuing to watch coldly as if it had nothing to do with him.
In reality, his heart was in turmoil. He wanted to step in, to drive away those lecherous men and protect the woman he loved.
But what right did he have to play the hero? With his fragile body that couldn’t afford to get hurt?
If he ended up injured and needing her to save him, it would be the ultimate joke!
This useless man could never become a hero, not in a thousand lifetimes!
Just as the men tried to make a move, Ding Yixin swiftly used a self-defense technique to break free.
The two men, surprised by her skills, quickly retreated with their tails between their legs.
With the trouble gone, Ding Yixin noticed Yan Tianyou striding toward her, his steps heavy with anger.
"What are you doing here, causing trouble for me again?" Yan Tianyou demanded. "Whenever you show up, there’s always some drama. Can’t you let me have some peace?"
"Sorry for disturbing you," Ding Yixin said, lowering her head.
"Sorry doesn’t fix anything. You’ve ruined my mood. Don’t you have work to do at the office? Why are you here?" His complaints came rapid-fire.
"You hadn’t returned to the office, so I got worried and came to check on you," she replied softly.
Yan Tianyou sneered. "Worried? What’s there to worry about? I won’t die without you around."
"That’s not what I meant," Ding Yixin quickly clarified. Why did he always twist her words?
"Then what do you mean? Always meddling in my business, acting like the little wife of the Yan family." Yan Tianyou shot her a disdainful look.
"I’m not," she said, feeling wronged, biting her lower lip.
"You are! Who do you think you are?" Yan Tianyou lifted her chin, his cold eyes devoid of emotion, his expression full of disgust. "Don’t think just because you’ve been in my bed that you’re my woman. Don’t dream of becoming the young mistress of the Yan family."
Ding Yixin’s face turned pale. His words always cut deep.
Yan Tianyou wasn’t done. He tightened his grip, determined to humiliate her. "Stop pretending. You heard me clearly that day. Remember, you’re just my bedmate. Don’t dream of marrying into the Yan family. I, Yan Tianyou, will never marry an orphan like you."
Closing her eyes to hide her pain, Ding Yixin vaguely guessed his true intention in hurting her. But she didn’t want to be driven away, didn’t want to erase their feelings. She would never let him have his way!
"Why are you saying these things on purpose? These aren’t your true feelings. Does hurting me make you happy?" Ding Yixin cried out from the depths of her heart, fear and pain gripping her tightly. She was terrified of losing him, of their relationship being destroyed.
Yan Tianyou released her, his hand falling limply to his side. He clenched his fist, desperately resisting the urge to pull her into his arms, to hold her close.
He couldn’t afford to soften. This day had to come eventually. Since the hurt was unavoidable, he couldn’t afford to linger, to let the pain repeat itself.
"Of course I’m happy. It’s a relief," Yan Tianyou said, hiding all emotion, his face cold and rigid. "If you can’t take it, then leave. Stop hovering around me."
Without another glance at Ding Yixin, Yan Tianyou turned and walked away, determined to put an end to everything between them.