Polo: Welcome to the Yokai Exorcist Organization, Psychic Exorcist Zenjimo.
Zenji’s smile didn’t waver, but something about it seemed off—just a little too effortless, like it was resting on his face rather than being worn. His posture was loose, shoulders slightly slouched, as if he hadn''t fully woken up yet.
Zenji: Mmm… Psychic Exorcist? Sounds like a lot of responsibility. (He let out a soft yawn, stretching his arms lazily.) Are you sure you got the right guy?
Polo: Psychics are one of the seven exorcist classes. Let me break it down for you…
Monks? Oh-ho-ho! These guys are absolute beasts! Strongest in close combat, no doubt! They hit like oni on a sugar rush, move like a blur, and—get this—they can shatter boulders and leap rooftops like it’s a morning jog! Talk about pumped up!
Priests? Boom! Masters of long-range devastation! You think you’re safe ‘cause you’re far away? Ha! Not with these guys around! They summon massive waves of energy and wipe out enemies like an unstoppable storm! KABOOM!
Nuns? Now these ones keep you on your toes! You never know what they’ll pull off next! It’s like, one second they’re all quiet and sneaky, and the next—BAM!—you’re toast!
Witch Doctors? Oh, these guys are wild. They’ll either save your life or ruin it! Got a life-threatening wound? They’ll patch you up in no time. But tick ‘em off? Ooooh boy, you’re getting hit with some nasty curses!
Shamans? They don’t even gotta fight themselves! They just summon a bunch of crazy creatures to do the work for ‘em! It’s like having your own personal army of spirit beasts—now that’s style!
Psychics? Whoa-ho, these guys are scary! They don’t even lift a finger and BAM! Your skull’s crushed, your mind’s controlled, or you’re stuck in some creepy illusion! That’s next-level power, right there!
Geomancers? Rock-solid, unshakable, and just cool. They shape stone, metal, and wood into anything—fortresses, weapons, you name it! You need a wall? BOOM, instant fortress! Need a club? BAM, stone hammer! Talk about unbreakable!
Polo handed Zenji a black-and-white scroll. Zenji took it with one hand, his grip light, almost lazy, and unrolled it with slow, deliberate movements. His eyes skimmed over the text, lingering just long enough to give the impression he was absorbing the information—whether he actually was or not was another question
Zenji: (Soft chuckle, handing the scroll back.) Alright, alright. I get it now.
Polo: Good. With that out of the way, it’s time for your first official mission.
Zenji rolled his shoulders back, cracking his neck. His expression remained easygoing, but his fingers tapped rhythmically against his leg, a tiny tell of lingering exhaustion.
Zenji: Heh… First mission, huh? (Pauses, tilting his head slightly.) Sounds like work. But sure, why not?
Polo: (Dryly) Kid, the second you killed that yokai, you were already in. You’ve been unconscious for three days.
Zenji’s head tilted back just a fraction, as if that information was mildly inconvenient rather than shocking. His smile didn’t fade, but there was a small hitch in his breathing—just a beat too long before he exhaled.
Zenji: Three days? (Yawns, rubbing the back of his neck.) Tch… Feels like I haven’t slept at all.
Polo: (Ignoring him) Anyway, your transport’s here.
A massive white tiger sprinted toward them, stopping just inches away. Zenji watched it approach with an almost lazy fascination, his hands slipping into his sleeves.
Zenji: (Nods approvingly.) Oh? A tiger? Now that’s something.
Zenji moved without hesitation, climbing onto the tiger’s back like he was settling into an old habit. He adjusted his position, resting comfortably as if he had all the time in the world.
Zenji: (Clicking his tongue.) Alright, big guy. Let’s roll.
The tiger didn’t move.
Polo: (Deadpan) …Do you even know where you’re supposed to go?
Zenji’s fingers drummed lightly against the tiger’s fur. There was no shift in his expression—his smile remained steady—but the pause before he spoke was just long enough to betray him.
Zenji: Mmm… Yeah, no. Haven’t thought that far ahead.
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Polo: That’s not how this transport works.
Zenji exhaled through his nose, tilting his head back toward the sky. His relaxed demeanor didn’t change, but the sigh was just a little too deep, like someone resigning themselves to an inevitable nuisance.
Zenji: Figures. So how do I—
— Smash cut to Polo shoving Zenji into the tiger’s mouth. —
Zenji barely had time to react before the tiger’s jaws clamped down around him. His limbs flailed lazily, as if he wasn’t sure whether to fight back or just accept it.
Zenji: DOGGYSTYLE?! Tch… You’re a real piece of work, Polo.
The tiger vanished in a flash of light.
<hr>
Arrival in the Village
Zenji reappeared in a destroyed village—spit out onto the ground. He stayed there for a moment, flat on his back, staring up at the sky.
He didn’t move right away. Not out of shock, but out of something quieter—something closer to sheer exhaustion.
A damp scroll landed beside him with a wet plop. Zenji let out a long sigh before lazily rolling onto his side and grabbing it. He didn’t rush, didn’t react. Just moved at his own pace, like someone who had long since decided that struggling wasn’t worth the effort.
His eyes skimmed the text, his thumb absently rubbing the edge of the paper.
<hr>
Letter:
Dear Zenjimo,
For the mission, you are required to find the yokai that destroyed this village, given 10,000 yen, and your partner is waiting for you at the Aqua Scale Ryokan, Room 13.
Note: The name of the ryokan is on the top. Hard to miss.
Double Note: I’m not your baby daddy, so you will be paying me back.
<hr>
Zenji smirked—a small, amused twitch of his lips rather than a full reaction. He shook his head once, slow and deliberate.
Zenji: (Muttering) Hah… He’ll get it back… when I reincarnate.
Pushing himself off the ground, he moved at an unhurried pace, dusting himself off as he wandered through the village. Even as he walked, there was something unhurried, almost weightless about his movements—like a man who could fall asleep mid-step if given the chance.
Eventually, he spotted a massive building with a sign that read Aqua Scale.
Zenji: (Yawns, stretching as he walks.) Mmm… So this is the place.
He stepped inside, muttering to himself.
Zenji: Why do I feel like I’m about to regret this?
At the counter, he spotted a Register Book, the words practically staring back at him, demanding effort. Zenji dragged his feet slightly as he walked over, flipping it open with a lazily flicked wrist.
He started filling it out—
—until a giant, skinny gray hand with long black nails shot out from the pages.
Zenji didn’t jump. Didn’t panic.
He just stared, head tilting slightly, as if debating whether or not this was even worth reacting to.
Zenji: (Exhales slowly.) Hah… What the hell.
The hand opened up toward Zenji, and a voice echoed.
Hand: "Are you acquainted with the person in that room?"
Zenji: "Yeah."
Hand: "That’ll cost 1000 yen."
Zenji lazily handed over the money, and once the hand collected it, it reentered the book. A few moments later, it emerged again, holding a card with “Room 13” written on it.
Zenji took the card, stifling a yawn as he turned away.
Zenji (thinking): What would’ve happened if I hadn’t paid?
As if to answer his question, a loud scream rang out from the direction of the room. Zenji casually started whistling, unfazed, and walked away. He wandered through the building, searching for the door with “Room 13” etched into a golden plaques.
When he finally found it, he grinned lazily.
Zenji: "Ah, here it is."
He knocked on the door. A moment later, it opened, revealing his partner.
Partner: "Are you Kunimitsu Zenjimo?"
Zenji: "Yeah, and you are?"
Partner: "I’m Yuitomo."
Yuitomo: "So, you''re the newbie they sent to deal with yokai."
Zenji: "Yep."
Yuitomo: Hmm. "Come in."
Yuitomo: "Sit wherever you like."
Zenji flopped into the chair, stretching out his legs.
Yuitomo: "So, Zenjimo, have you ever fought any yokai before your entrance test?"
Zenji: "Nah, first time was the test."
Yuitomo: "How was your fight with your entrance yokai?"
Zenji: "It was... alright. Not too hard, not too easy. It slammed me around a bit, but I won."
Yuitomo: "Ever fought before that?"
Zenji: "Started training when I was 9."
Yuitomo: "What’s your ability?"
Zenji: Yawning. "That Ats’loot guy said I’ve got psychokinesis... with a sloth idol. And ever since, I can''t stop smiling."
Yuitomo: Raises an eyebrow. "Never heard of that before. How does your psychokinesis work?"
Zenji: "I usually use words to control it. It''s like... when I say something, it happens. But when I fought the yokai for the test, I didn’t even have to say anything."
Yuitomo: "Why not?"
Zenji: "Just felt like it''d be more effective, you know?"
Yuitomo: "I see... Well, I’ve been told you can shape your ability the way you want."
Zenji: "Really? That’s good to know."
Yuitomo: "That’s all I needed to know. And listen, Zenjimo, be careful. This yokai is a big one."
Zenji: "Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine."
Yuitomo: "We’ll head out tonight to find it, so get some rest."
Zenji: "Sure thing... If you need me, don''t bother."
Zenji closed his eyes, and within moments, he was asleep.
<hr>
Later, at midnight...
Zenji and Yuitomo walked through the quiet village, searching for the yokai.
Zenji: "Yuitomo."
Yuitomo: "What is it, Zenji?"
Zenji: "Don’t you think it’s weird that all the buildings in this village are destroyed, but the ryokan and the building next to it are the most wrecked?"
Yuitomo: "You’re right. That must mean—"
A loud stomp shook the ground behind them. They turned around, only to see the Aqua Scale Ryokan, now towering over them, with giant, elephant-like feet stomping toward them.